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diff --git a/22878.txt b/22878.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c74a6da --- /dev/null +++ b/22878.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12555 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Lavengro, by George Borrow, Edited by F. +Hindes Groome + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Lavengro + The Scholar - The Gypsy - The Priest, Vol. 2 (of 2) + + +Author: George Borrow + +Editor: F. Hindes Groome + +Release Date: October 3, 2007 [eBook #22878] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAVENGRO*** + + +Transcribed from the 1901 Methuen & Co edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + +LAVENGRO +The Scholar--The Gypsy--The Priest + + +_By_ +GEORGE BORROW +_WITH NOTES AND AN INTRODUCTION_ +BY F. HINDES GROOME + +VOLUME II + +_WITH A FRONTISPIECE_ + +LONDON +METHUEN & CO +36 ESSEX STREET, W.C. +MDCCCCI + +{Picture of Norwich Cathedral: p0.jpg} + + + + + CHAPTER XLIX + + +Singular Personage--A Large Sum--Papa of Rome--We are +Christians--Degenerate Armenians--Roots of Ararat--Regular Features. + +The Armenian! I frequently saw this individual, availing myself of the +permission which he had given me to call upon him. A truly singular +personage was he, with his love of amassing money, and his nationality so +strong as to be akin to poetry. Many an Armenian I have subsequently +known fond of money-getting, and not destitute of national spirit; but +never another who, in the midst of his schemes of lucre, was at all times +willing to enter into a conversation on the structure of the Haik +language, or who ever offered me money to render into English the fables +of Z--- in the hope of astonishing the stock-jobbers of the Exchange with +the wisdom of the Haik Esop. + +But he was fond of money, very fond. Within a little time I had won his +confidence to such a degree that he informed me that the grand wish of +his heart was to be possessed of two hundred thousand pounds. + +"I think you might satisfy yourself with the half," said I. "One hundred +thousand pounds is a large sum." + +"You are mistaken," said the Armenian, "a hundred thousand pounds is +nothing. My father left me that or more at his death. No, I shall never +be satisfied with less than two." + +"And what will you do with your riches," said I, "when you have obtained +them? Will you sit down and muse upon them, or will you deposit them in +a cellar, and go down once a day to stare at them? I have heard say that +the fulfilment of one's wishes is invariably the precursor of extreme +misery, and forsooth I can scarcely conceive a more horrible state of +existence than to be without a hope or wish." + +"It is bad enough, I dare say," said the Armenian; "it will, however, be +time enough to think of disposing of the money when I have procured it. I +still fall short by a vast sum of the two hundred thousand pounds." + +I had occasionally much conversation with him on the state and prospects +of his nation, especially of that part of it which still continued in the +original country of the Haiks--Ararat and its confines, which, it +appeared, he had frequently visited. He informed me that since the death +of the last Haik monarch, which occurred in the eleventh century, Armenia +had been governed both temporally and spiritually by certain personages +called patriarchs; their temporal authority, however, was much +circumscribed by the Persian and Turk, especially the former, of whom the +Armenian spoke with much hatred, whilst their spiritual authority had at +various times been considerably undermined by the emissaries of the Papa +of Rome, as the Armenian called him. + +"The Papa of Rome sent his emissaries at an early period amongst us," +said the Armenian, "seducing the minds of weak-headed people, persuading +them that the hillocks of Rome are higher than the ridges of Ararat; that +the Roman Papa has more to say in heaven than the Armenian patriarch, and +that puny Latin is a better language than nervous and sonorous Haik." + +"They are both dialects," said I, "of the language of Mr. Petulengro, one +of whose race I believe to have been the original founder of Rome; but, +with respect to religion, what are the chief points of your faith? you +are Christians, I believe." + +"Yes," said the Armenian, "we are Christians in our way; we believe in +God, the Holy Spirit, and Saviour, though we are not prepared to admit +that the last Personage is not only Himself, but the other two. We +believe. . . " and then the Armenian told me of several things which the +Haiks believed or disbelieved. "But what we find most hard of all to +believe," said he, "is that the man of the mole hills is entitled to our +allegiance, he not being a Haik, or understanding the Haik language." + +"But, by your own confession," said I, "he has introduced a schism in +your nation, and has amongst you many that believe in him." + +"It is true," said the Armenian, "that even on the confines of Ararat +there are a great number who consider that mountain to be lower than the +hillocks of Rome; but the greater number of degenerate Armenians are to +be found amongst those who have wandered to the West; most of the Haik +Churches of the West consider Rome to be higher than Ararat--most of the +Armenians of this place hold that dogma; I, however, have always stood +firm in the contrary opinion." + +"Ha! ha!"--here the Armenian laughed in his peculiar manner--"talking of +this matter puts me in mind of an adventure which lately befell me, with +one of the emissaries of the Papa of Rome, for the Papa of Rome has at +present many emissaries in this country, in order to seduce the people +from their own quiet religion to the savage heresy of Rome; this fellow +came to me partly in the hope of converting me, but principally to extort +money for the purpose of furthering the designs of Rome in this country. +I humoured the fellow at first, keeping him in play for nearly a month, +deceiving and laughing at him. At last he discovered that he could make +nothing of me, and departed with the scowl of Caiaphas, whilst I cried +after him, 'The roots of Ararat are _deeper_ than those of Rome.'" + +The Armenian had occasionally reverted to the subject of the translation +of the Haik Esop, which he had still a lurking desire that I should +execute; but I had invariably declined the undertaking, without, however, +stating my reasons. On one occasion, when we had been conversing on the +subject, the Armenian, who had been observing my countenance for some +time with much attention, remarked, "Perhaps, after all, you are right, +and you might employ your time to better advantage. Literature is a fine +thing, especially Haik literature, but neither that nor any other would +be likely to serve as a foundation to a man's fortune: and to make a +fortune should be the principal aim of every one's life; therefore listen +to me. Accept a seat at the desk opposite to my Moldavian clerk, and +receive the rudiments of a merchant's education. You shall be instructed +in the Armenian way of doing business--I think you would make an +excellent merchant." + +"Why do you think so?" + +"Because you have something of the Armenian look." + +"I understand you," said I; "you mean to say that I squint!" + +"Not exactly," said the Armenian, "but there is certainly a kind of +irregularity in your features. One eye appears to me larger than the +other--never mind, but rather rejoice; in that irregularity consists your +strength. All people with regular features are fools; it is very hard +for them, you'll say, but there is no help: all we can do, who are not in +such a predicament, is to pity those who are. Well! will you accept my +offer? No! you are a singular individual; but I must not forget my own +concerns. I must now go forth, having an appointment by which I hope to +make money." + + + + +CHAPTER L + + +Wish Fulfilled--Extraordinary Figure--Bueno--Noah--The Two Faces--I Don't +Blame Him--Too Fond of Money--Were I an Armenian. + +The fulfilment of the Armenian's grand wish was nearer at hand than +either he or I had anticipated. Partly owing to the success of a bold +speculation, in which he had some time previously engaged, and partly +owing to the bequest of a large sum of money by one of his nation who +died at this period in Paris, he found himself in the possession of a +fortune somewhat exceeding two hundred thousand pounds; this fact he +communicated to me one evening about an hour after the close of 'Change; +the hour at which I generally called, and at which I mostly found him at +home. + +"Well," said I, "and what do you intend to do next?" + +"I scarcely know," said the Armenian. "I was thinking of that when you +came in. I don't see anything that I can do, save going on in my former +course. After all, I was perhaps too moderate in making the possession +of two hundred thousand pounds the summit of my ambition; there are many +individuals in this town who possess three times that sum, and are not +yet satisfied. No, I think I can do no better than pursue the old +career; who knows but I may make the two hundred thousand three or +four?--there is already a surplus, which is an encouragement; however, we +will consider the matter over a goblet of wine; I have observed of late +that you have become partial to my Cyprus." + +And it came to pass that, as we were seated over the Cyprus wine, we +heard a knock at the door. "Adelante!" cried the Armenian; whereupon the +door opened, and in walked a somewhat extraordinary figure--a man in a +long loose tunic of a stuff striped with black and yellow; breeches of +plush velvet, silk stockings, and shoes with silver buckles. On his head +he wore a high-peaked hat; he was tall, had a hooked nose, and in age was +about fifty. + +"Welcome, Rabbi Manasseh," said the Armenian. "I know your knock--you +are welcome; sit down." + +"I am welcome," said Manasseh, sitting down; "he! he! he! you know my +knock--I bring you money--_bueno_!" + +There was something very peculiar in the sound of that _bueno_--I never +forgot it. + +Thereupon a conversation ensued between Rabbi Manasseh and the Armenian, +in a language which I knew to be Spanish, though a peculiar dialect. It +related to a mercantile transaction. The Rabbi sighed heavily as he +delivered to the other a considerable sum of money. + +"It is right," said the Armenian, handing a receipt. "It is right; and I +am quite satisfied." + +"You are satisfied--you have taken money. _Bueno_, I have nothing to say +against your being satisfied." + +"Come, Rabbi," said the Armenian, "do not despond; it may be your turn +next to take money; in the meantime, can't you be persuaded to taste my +Cyprus?" + +"He! he! he! senor, you know I do not love wine. I love Noah when he is +himself; but, as Janus, I love him not. But you are merry; _bueno_, you +have a right to be so." + +"Excuse me," said I; "but does Noah ever appear as Janus?" + +"He! he! he!" said the Rabbi, "he only appeared as Janus once--una vez +quando estuvo borracho; which means--" + +"I understand," said I; "when he was . . . " and I drew the side of my +right hand sharply across my left wrist. + +"Are you one of our people?" said the Rabbi. + +"No," said I, "I am one of the Goyim; but I am only half enlightened. Why +should Noah be Janus when he was in that state?" + +"He! he! he! you must know that in Lasan akhades wine is janin." + +"In Armenian, kini," said I; "in Welsh, gwin; Latin, vinum; but do you +think that Janus and janin are one?" + +"Do I think? Don't the commentators say so? Does not Master Leo +Abarbenel say so, in his 'Dialogues of Divine Love'?" + +"But," said I, "I always thought that Janus was a god of the ancient +Romans, who stood in a temple open in time of war, and shut in time of +peace; he was represented with two faces, which--which--" + +"He! he! he!" said the Rabbi, rising from his seat; "he had two faces, +had he? And what did those two faces typify? You do not know; no, nor +did the Romans who carved him with two faces know why they did so; for +they were only half enlightened, like you and the rest of the Goyim. Yet +they were right in carving him with two faces looking from each +other--they were right, though they knew not why; there was a tradition +among them that the Janinoso had two faces, but they knew not that one +was for the world which was gone, and the other for the world before +him--for the drowned world, and for the present, as Master Leo Abarbenel +says in his 'Dialogues of Divine Love.' He! he! he!" continued the +Rabbi, who had by this time advanced to the door, and, turning round, +waved the two forefingers of his right hand in our faces; "the Goyims and +Epicouraiyim are clever men, they know how to make money better than we +of Israel. My good friend there is a clever man, I bring him money, he +never brought me any; _bueno_, I do not blame him, he knows much, very +much; but one thing there is my friend does not know, nor any of the +Epicureans, he does not know the sacred thing--he has never received the +gift of interpretation which God alone gives to the seed--he has his +gift, I have mine--he is satisfied, I don't blame him, _bueno_." + +And, with this last word in his mouth, he departed. + +"Is that man a native of Spain?" I demanded. + +"Not a native of Spain," said the Armenian, "though he is one of those +who call themselves Spanish Jews, and who are to be found scattered +throughout Europe, speaking the Spanish language transmitted to them by +their ancestors, who were expelled from Spain in the time of Ferdinand +and Isabella." + +"The Jews are a singular people," said I. + +"A race of cowards and dastards," said the Armenian, "without a home or +country; servants to servants; persecuted and despised by all." + +"And what are the Haiks?" I demanded. + +"Very different from the Jews," replied the Armenian; "the Haiks have a +home--a country, and can occasionally use a good sword; though it is true +they are not what they might be." + +"Then it is a shame that they do not become so," said I; "but they are +too fond of money. There is yourself, with two hundred thousand pounds +in your pocket, craving for more, whilst you might be turning your wealth +to the service of your country." + +"In what manner?" said the Armenian. + +"I have heard you say that the grand oppressor of your country is the +Persian; why not attempt to free your country from his oppression?--you +have two hundred thousand pounds, and money is the sinew of war." + +"Would you, then, have me attack the Persian?" + +"I scarcely know what to say; fighting is a rough trade, and I am by no +means certain that you are calculated for the scratch. It is not every +one who has been brought up in the school of Mr. Petulengro and Tawno +Chikno. All I can say is, that if I were an Armenian, and had two +hundred thousand pounds to back me, I would attack the Persian." + +"Hem!" said the Armenian. + + + + +CHAPTER LI + + +The One Half-Crown--Merit in Patience--Cementer of Friendship--Dreadful +Perplexity--The Usual Guttural--Armenian Letters--Much Indebted to +You--Pure Helplessness--Dumb People. + +One morning on getting up I discovered that my whole worldly wealth was +reduced to one half-crown--throughout that day I walked about in +considerable distress of mind; it was now requisite that I should come to +a speedy decision with respect to what I was to do; I had not many +alternatives, and, before I had retired to rest on the night of the day +in question, I had determined that I could do no better than accept the +first proposal of the Armenian, and translate under his superintendence +the Haik Esop into English. + +I reflected, for I made a virtue of necessity, that, after all, such an +employment would be an honest and honourable one; honest, inasmuch as by +engaging in it I should do harm to nobody; honourable, inasmuch as it was +a literary task, which not every one was capable of executing. It was +not every one of the booksellers' writers of London who was competent to +translate the Haik Esop. I determined to accept the offer of the +Armenian. + +Once or twice the thought of what I might have to undergo in the +translation from certain peculiarities of the Armenian's temper almost +unsettled me; but a mechanical diving of my hand into my pocket, and the +feeling of the solitary half-crown, confirmed me; after all, this was a +life of trial and tribulation, and I had read somewhere or other that +there was much merit in patience, so I determined to hold fast in my +resolution of accepting the offer of the Armenian. + +But all of a sudden I remembered that the Armenian appeared to have +altered his intentions towards me: he appeared no longer desirous that I +should render the Haik Esop into English for the benefit of the stock- +jobbers on Exchange, but rather that I should acquire the rudiments of +doing business in the Armenian fashion, and accumulate a fortune, which +would enable me to make a figure upon 'Change with the best of the stock- +jobbers. "Well," thought I, withdrawing my hand from my pocket, whither +it had again mechanically dived, "after all, what would the world, what +would this city be, without commerce? I believe the world, and +particularly this city, would cut a very poor figure without commerce; +and then there is something poetical in the idea of doing business after +the Armenian fashion, dealing with dark-faced Lascars and Rabbins of the +Sephardim. Yes, should the Armenian insist upon it, I will accept a seat +at the desk, opposite the Moldavian clerk. I do not like the idea of +cuffs similar to those the Armenian bestowed upon the Moldavian clerk; +whatever merit there may be in patience, I do not think that my +estimation of the merit of patience would be sufficient to induce me to +remain quietly sitting under the infliction of cuffs. I think I should, +in the event of his cuffing me, knock the Armenian down. Well, I think I +have heard it said somewhere, that a knock-down blow is a great cementer +of friendship; I think I have heard of two people being better friends +than ever after the one had received from the other a knock-down blow." + +That night I dreamed I had acquired a colossal fortune, some four hundred +thousand pounds, by the Armenian way of doing business, but suddenly +awoke in dreadful perplexity as to how I should dispose of it. + +About nine o'clock next morning I set off to the house of the Armenian; I +had never called upon him so early before, and certainly never with a +heart beating with so much eagerness; but the situation of my affairs had +become very critical, and I thought that I ought to lose no time in +informing the Armenian that I was at length perfectly willing either to +translate the Haik Esop under his superintendence, or to accept a seat at +the desk opposite to the Moldavian clerk, and acquire the secrets of +Armenian commerce. With a quick step I entered the counting-room, where, +notwithstanding the earliness of the hour, I found the clerk, busied as +usual at his desk. + +He had always appeared to me a singular being, this same Moldavian clerk. +A person of fewer words could scarcely be conceived: provided his master +were at home, he would, on my inquiring, nod his head; and, provided he +were not, he would invariably reply with the monosyllable, no, delivered +in a strange guttural tone. On the present occasion, being full of +eagerness and impatience, I was about to pass by him to the apartment +above, without my usual inquiry, when he lifted his head from the ledger +in which he was writing, and, laying down his pen, motioned to me with +his forefinger, as if to arrest my progress; whereupon I stopped, and, +with a palpitating heart, demanded whether the master of the house was at +home. The Moldavian clerk replied with his usual guttural, and, opening +his desk, ensconced his head therein. + +"It does not much matter," said I, "I suppose I shall find him at home +after 'Change; it does not much matter, I can return." + +I was turning away with the intention of leaving the room; at this +moment, however, the head of the Moldavian clerk became visible, and I +observed a letter in his hand, which he had inserted in the desk at the +same time with his head; this he extended towards me, making at the same +time a side-long motion with his head, as much as to say that it +contained something which interested me. + +I took the letter, and the Moldavian clerk forthwith resumed his +occupation. The back of the letter bore my name, written in Armenian +characters; with a trembling hand I broke the seal, and, unfolding the +letter, I beheld several lines also written in the letters of Mesroub, +the Cadmus of the Armenians. + +I stared at the lines, and at first could not make out a syllable of +their meaning; at last, however, by continued staring, I discovered that, +though the letters were Armenian, the words were English; in about ten +minutes I had contrived to decipher the sense of the letter; it ran +somewhat in this style:-- + + "MY DEAR FRIEND,--The words which you uttered in our last conversation + have made a profound impression upon me; I have thought them over day + and night, and have come to the conclusion that it is my bounden duty + to attack the Persians. When these lines are delivered to you, I + shall be on the route to Ararat. A mercantile speculation will be to + the world the ostensible motive of my journey, and it is singular + enough that one which offers considerable prospect of advantage has + just presented itself on the confines of Persia. Think not, however, + that motives of lucre would have been sufficiently powerful to tempt + me to the East at the present moment. I may speculate, it is true, + but I should scarcely have undertaken the journey but for your pungent + words inciting me to attack the Persians. Doubt not that I will + attack them on the first opportunity. I thank you heartily for + putting me in mind of my duty. I have hitherto, to use your own + words, been too fond of money-getting, like all my countrymen. I am + much indebted to you; farewell! and may every prosperity await you." + +For some time after I had deciphered the epistle, I stood as if rooted to +the floor. I felt stunned--my last hope was gone; presently a feeling +arose in my mind--a feeling of self-reproach. Whom had I to blame but +myself for the departure of the Armenian? Would he have ever thought of +attacking the Persians had I not put the idea into his head? he had told +me in his epistle that he was indebted to me for the idea. But for that, +he might at the present moment have been in London, increasing his +fortune by his usual methods, and I might be commencing under his +auspices the translation of the Haik Esop, with the promise, no doubt, of +a considerable remuneration for my trouble; or I might be taking a seat +opposite the Moldavian clerk, and imbibing the first rudiments of doing +business after the Armenian fashion, with the comfortable hope of +realising, in a short time, a fortune of three or four hundred thousand +pounds; but the Armenian was now gone, and farewell to the fine hopes I +had founded upon him the day before. What was I to do? I looked wildly +around, till my eyes rested on the Moldavian clerk, who was writing away +in his ledger with particular vehemence. Not knowing well what to do or +to say, I thought I might as well ask the Moldavian clerk when the +Armenian had departed, and when he thought that he would return. It is +true it mattered little to me when he departed, seeing that he was gone, +and it was evident that he would not be back soon; but I knew not what to +do, and in pure helplessness thought I might as well ask; so I went up to +the Moldavian clerk, and asked him when the Armenian had departed, and +whether he had been gone two days or three? Whereupon the Moldavian +clerk, looking up from his ledger, made certain signs, which I could by +no means understand. I stood astonished, but, presently recovering +myself, inquired when he considered it probable that the master would +return, and whether he thought it would be two months or--my tongue +faltered--two years; whereupon the Moldavian clerk made more signs than +before, and yet more unintelligible; as I persisted, however, he flung +down his pen, and, putting his thumb into his mouth, moved it rapidly, +causing the nail to sound against the lower jaw; whereupon I saw that he +was dumb, and hurried away, for I had always entertained a horror of dumb +people, having once heard my mother say, when I was a child, that dumb +people were half demoniacs, or little better. + + + + +CHAPTER LII + + +Kind of Stupor--Peace of God--Divine Hand--Farewell, Child--The +Fair--Massive Edifice--Battered Tars--Lost! Lost!--Good Day, Gentlemen. + +Leaving the house of the Armenian, I strolled about for some time; almost +mechanically my feet conducted me to London Bridge, to the booth in which +stood the stall of the old apple-woman; the sound of her voice aroused +me, as I sat in a kind of stupor on the stone bench beside her; she was +inquiring what was the matter with me. + +At first, I believe, I answered her very incoherently, for I observed +alarm beginning to depict itself upon her countenance. Rousing myself, +however, I in my turn put a few questions to her upon her present +condition and prospects. The old woman's countenance cleared up +instantly; she informed me that she had never been more comfortable in +her life; that her trade, her _honest_ trade--laying an emphasis on the +word honest--had increased of late wonderfully; that her health was +better, and, above all, that she felt no fear and horror "here," laying +her hand on her breast. + +On my asking her whether she still heard voices in the night, she told me +that she frequently did; but that the present were mild voices, sweet +voices, encouraging voices, very different from the former ones; that a +voice, only the night previous, had cried out about "the peace of God," +in particularly sweet accents; a sentence which she remembered to have +read in her early youth in the primer, but which she had clean forgotten +till the voice the night before brought it to her recollection. + +After a pause, the old woman said to me, "I believe, dear, that it is the +blessed book you brought me which has wrought this goodly change. How +glad I am now that I can read; but oh what a difference between the book +you brought to me and the one you took away. I believe the one you +brought is written by the finger of God, and the other by--" + +"Don't abuse the book," said I, "it is an excellent book for those who +can understand it; it was not exactly suited to you, and perhaps it had +been better that you had never read it--and yet, who knows? Peradventure, +if you had not read that book, you would not have been fitted for the +perusal of the one which you say is written by the finger of God;" and, +pressing my hand to my head, I fell into a deep fit of musing. "What, +after all," thought I, "if there should be more order and system in the +working of the moral world than I have thought? Does there not seem in +the present instance to be something like the working of a Divine hand? I +could not conceive why this woman, better educated than her mother, +should have been, as she certainly was, a worse character than her +mother. Yet perhaps this woman may be better and happier than her mother +ever was; perhaps she is so already--perhaps this world is not a wild, +lying dream, as I have occasionally supposed it to be." + +But the thought of my own situation did not permit me to abandon myself +much longer to these musings. I started up. "Where are you going, +child?" said the woman, anxiously. "I scarcely know," said I; +"anywhere." "Then stay here, child," said she; "I have much to say to +you." "No," said I, "I shall be better moving about;" and I was moving +away, when it suddenly occurred to me that I might never see this woman +again; and turning round I offered her my hand, and bade her good bye. +"Farewell, child," said the old woman, "and God bless you!" I then moved +along the bridge until I reached the Southwark side, and, still holding +on my course, my mind again became quickly abstracted from all +surrounding objects. + +At length I found myself in a street or road, with terraces on either +side, and seemingly of interminable length, leading, as it would appear, +to the south-east. I was walking at a great rate--there were likewise a +great number of people, also walking at a great rate; also carts and +carriages driving at a great rate; and all--men, carts, and +carriages--going in the selfsame direction, namely, to the south-east. I +stopped for a moment and deliberated whether or not I should proceed. +What business had I in that direction? I could not say that I had any +particular business in that direction, but what could I do were I to turn +back? only walk about well-known streets; and, if I must walk, why not +continue in the direction in which I was to see whither the road and its +terraces led: I was here in a _terra incognita_, and an unknown place had +always some interest for me; moreover, I had a desire to know whither all +this crowd was going, and for what purpose. I thought they could not be +going far, as crowds seldom go far, especially at such a rate; so I +walked on more lustily than before, passing group after group of the +crowd, and almost vying in speed with some of the carriages, especially +the hackney-coaches; and, by dint of walking at this rate, the terraces +and houses becoming somewhat less frequent as I advanced, I reached in +about three-quarters of an hour a kind of low dingy town, in the +neighbourhood of the river; the streets were swarming with people, and I +concluded, from the number of wild-beast shows, caravans, gingerbread +stalls, and the like, that a fair was being held. Now, as I had always +been partial to fairs, I felt glad that I had fallen in with the crowd +which had conducted me to the present one, and, casting away as much as I +was able all gloomy thoughts, I did my best to enter into the diversions +of the fair; staring at the wonderful representations of animals on +canvas hung up before the shows of wild beasts, which, by the bye, are +frequently found much more worthy of admiration than the real beasts +themselves; listening to the jokes of the merry-andrews from the +platforms in front of the temporary theatres, or admiring the splendid +tinsel dresses of the performers who thronged the stages in the intervals +of the entertainments; and in this manner, occasionally gazing and +occasionally listening, I passed through the town till I came in front of +a large edifice looking full upon the majestic bosom of the Thames. + +It was a massive stone edifice, built in an antique style, and black with +age, with a broad esplanade between it and the river, on which, mixed +with a few people from the fair, I observed moving about a great many +individuals in quaint dresses of blue, with strange three-cornered hats +on their heads; most of them were mutilated; this had a wooden leg--this +wanted an arm; some had but one eye; and as I gazed upon the edifice, and +the singular-looking individuals who moved before it, I guessed where I +was. "I am at ---," {22} said I; "these individuals are battered tars of +Old England, and this edifice, once the favourite abode of Glorious +Elizabeth, is the refuge which a grateful country has allotted to them. +Here they can rest their weary bodies; at their ease talk over the +actions in which they have been injured; and, with the tear of enthusiasm +flowing from their eyes, boast how they have trod the deck of fame with +Rodney, or Nelson, or others whose names stand emblazoned in the naval +annals of their country." + +Turning to the right, I entered a park or wood consisting of enormous +trees, occupying the foot, sides, and top of a hill which rose behind the +town; there were multitudes of people among the trees, diverting +themselves in various ways. Coming to the top of the hill, I was +presently stopped by a lofty wall, along which I walked, till, coming to +a small gate, I passed through, and found myself on an extensive green +plain, on one side bounded in part by the wall of the park, and on the +others, in the distance, by extensive ranges of houses; to the south-east +was a lofty eminence, partially clothed with wood. The plain exhibited +an animated scene, a kind of continuation of the fair below; there were +multitudes of people upon it, many tents, and shows; there was also horse- +racing, and much noise and shouting, the sun shining brightly overhead. +After gazing at the horse-racing for a little time, feeling myself +somewhat tired, I went up to one of the tents, and laid myself down on +the grass. There was much noise in the tent. "Who will stand me?" said +a voice with a slight tendency to lisp. "Will you, my lord?" "Yes," +said another voice. Then there was a sound as of a piece of money +banging on a table. "Lost! lost! lost!" cried several voices; and then +the banging down of the money, and the "Lost! lost! lost!" were +frequently repeated; at last the second voice exclaimed, "I will try no +more; you have cheated me." "Never cheated any one in my life, my +lord--all fair--all chance. Them that finds, wins--them that can't +finds, loses. Any one else try? Who'll try? Will you, my lord?" and +then it appeared that some other lord tried, for I heard more money flung +down. Then again the cry of "Lost! lost!"--then again the sound of +money, and so on. Once or twice, but not more, I heard "Won! won!" but +the predominant cry was "Lost! lost!" At last there was a considerable +hubbub, and the words "Cheat!" "Rogue!" and "You filched away the pea!" +were used freely by more voices than one, to which the voice with the +tendency to lisp replied, "Never filched a pea in my life; would scorn +it. Always glad when folks wins; but, as those here don't appear to be +civil, nor to wish to play any more, I shall take myself off with my +table; so, good day, gentlemen." + + + + +CHAPTER LIII + + +Singular Table--No Money--Out of Employ--My Bonnet--We of the +Thimble--Good Wages--Wisely Resolved--Strangest Way in the World--Fat +Gentleman--Not Such Another--First Edition--Not Very Easy--Won't +Close--Avella Gorgio--Alarmed Look. + +Presently a man emerged from the tent, bearing before him a rather +singular table; it appeared to be of white deal, was exceedingly small at +the top, and with very long legs. At a few yards from the entrance he +paused, and looked round, as if to decide on the direction which he +should take; presently, his eye glancing on me as I lay upon the ground, +he started, and appeared for a moment inclined to make off as quick as +possible, table and all. In a moment, however, he seemed to recover +assurance, and, coming up to the place where I was, the long legs of the +table projecting before him, he cried, "Glad to see you here, my lord." + +"Thank you," said I, "it's a fine day." + +"Very fine, my lord; will your lordship play? Them that finds, wins--them +that don't finds, loses." + +"Play at what?" said I. + +"Only at the thimble and pea, my lord." + +"I never heard of such a game." + +"Didn't you? Well, I'll soon teach you," said he, placing the table +down. "All you have to do is to put a sovereign down on my table, and to +find the pea, which I put under one of my thimbles. If you find it,--and +it is easy enough to find it,--I give you a sovereign besides your own: +for them that finds, wins." + +"And them that don't finds, loses," said I; "no, I don't wish to play." + +"Why not, my lord?" + +"Why, in the first place, I have no money." + +"Oh, you have no money, that of course alters the case. If you have no +money, you can't play. Well, I suppose I must be seeing after my +customers," said he, glancing over the plain. + +"Good day," said I. + +"Good day," said the man slowly, but without moving, and as if in +reflection. After a moment or two, looking at me inquiringly, he added, +"Out of employ?" + +"Yes," said I, "out of employ." + +The man measured me with his eye as I lay on the ground. At length he +said, "May I speak a word or two to you, my lord?" + +"As many as you please," said I. + +"Then just come a little out of hearing, a little further on the grass, +if you please, my lord." + +"Why do you call me my lord?" said I, as I arose and followed him. + +"We of the thimble always calls our customers lords," said the man; "but +I won't call you such a foolish name any more; come along." + +The man walked along the plain till he came to the side of a dry pit, +when, looking round to see that no one was nigh, he laid his table on the +grass, and, sitting down with his legs over the side of the pit, he +motioned me to do the same. "So you are in want of employ," said he, +after I had sat down beside him. + +"Yes," said I, "I am very much in want of employ." + +"I think I can find you some." + +"What kind?" said I. + +"Why," said the man, "I think you would do to be my bonnet." + +"Bonnet!" said I; "what is that?" + +"Don't you know? However, no wonder, as you had never heard of the +thimble and pea game, but I will tell you. We of the game are very much +exposed; folks when they have lost their money, as those who play with us +mostly do, sometimes uses rough language, calls us cheats, and sometimes +knocks our hats over our eyes; and what's more, with a kick under our +table, cause the top deals to fly off; this is the third table I have +used this day, the other two being broken by uncivil customers: so we of +the game generally like to have gentlemen go about with us to take our +part, and encourage us, though pretending to know nothing about us; for +example, when the customer says, 'I'm cheated,' the bonnet must say, 'No, +you a'n't, it is all right;' or, when my hat is knocked over my eyes, the +bonnet must square, and say, 'I never saw the man before in all my life, +but I won't see him ill-used;' and so, when they kicks at the table, the +bonnet must say, 'I won't see the table ill-used, such a nice table, too; +besides, I want to play myself;' and then I would say to the bonnet, +'Thank you, my lord, them that finds, wins;' and then the bonnet plays, +and I lets the bonnet win." + +"In a word," said I, "the bonnet means the man who covers you, even as +the real bonnet covers the head." {27a} + +"Just so," said the man; "I see you are awake, and would soon make a +first-rate bonnet." + +"Bonnet," said I, musingly; "bonnet; it is metaphorical." + +"Is it?" said the man. + +"Yes," said I, "like the cant words--" + +"Bonnet is cant," said the man; "we of the thimble, as well as all +clyfakers and the like, understand cant, as, of course, must every +bonnet; so, if you are employed by me, you had better learn it as soon as +you can, that we may discourse together without being understood by every +one. Besides covering his principal, a bonnet must have his eyes about +him, for the trade of the pea, though a strictly honest one, is not +altogether lawful; so it is the duty of the bonnet, if he sees the +constable coming, to say, 'The Gorgio's welling.'" {27b} + +"That is not cant," said I, "that is the language of the Rommany Chals." +{27c} + +"Do you know those people?" said the man. + +"Perfectly," said I, "and their language too." + +"I wish I did," said the man; "I would give ten pounds and more to know +the language of the Rommany Chals. There's some of it in the language of +the pea and thimble; how it came there I don't know, but so it is. I +wish I knew it, but it is difficult. You'll make a capital bonnet; shall +we close?" + +"What would the wages be?" I demanded. + +"Why, to a first-rate bonnet, as I think you would prove, I could afford +to give from forty to fifty shillings a week." + +"Is it possible?" said I. + +"Good wages, a'n't they?" said the man. + +"First-rate," said I; "bonneting is more profitable than reviewing." + +"Anan?" said the man. + +"Or translating; I don't think the Armenian would have paid me at that +rate for translating his Esop." + +"Who is he?" said the man. + +"Esop?" + +"No, I know what that is, Esop's cant for a hunchback; but t'other?" + +"You should know," said I. + +"Never saw the man in all my life." + +"Yes, you have," said I, "and felt him too; don't you remember the +individual from whom you took the pocket-book?" + +"Oh, that was he? Well, the less said about that matter the better; I +have left off that trade, and taken to this, which is a much better. +Between ourselves, I am not sorry that I did not carry off that pocket- +book; if I had, it might have encouraged me in the trade, in which, had I +remained, I might have been lagged, sent abroad, as I had been already +imprisoned; so I determined to leave it off at all hazards, though I was +hard up, not having a penny in the world." + +"And wisely resolved," said I; "it was a bad and dangerous trade; I +wonder you should ever have embraced it." + +"It is all very well talking," said the man, "but there is a reason for +everything; I am the son of a Jewess, by a military officer,"--and then +the man told me his story. I shall not repeat the man's story, it was a +poor one, a vile one; at last he observed, "So that affair which you know +of determined me to leave the filching trade, and take up with a more +honest and safe one; so at last I thought of the pea and thimble, but I +wanted funds, especially to pay for lessons at the hands of a master, for +I knew little about it." + +"Well," said I, "how did you get over that difficulty?" + +"Why," said the man, "I thought I should never have got over it. What +funds could I raise? I had nothing to sell; the few clothes I had I +wanted, for we of the thimble must always appear decent, or nobody would +come near us. I was at my wits' end; at last I got over my difficulty in +the strangest way in the world." + +"What was that?" + +"By an old thing which I had picked up some time before--a book." + +"A book?" said I. + +"Yes, which I had taken out of your lordship's pocket one day as you were +walking the streets in a great hurry. I thought it was a pocket-book at +first, full of bank-notes, perhaps," continued he, laughing. "It was +well for me, however, that it was not, for I should have soon spent the +notes; as it was, I had flung the old thing down with an oath, as soon as +I brought it home. When I was so hard up, however, after the affair with +that friend of yours, I took it up one day, and thought I might make +something by it to support myself a day with. Chance or something else +led me into a grand shop; there was a man there who seemed to be the +master, talking to a jolly, portly old gentleman, who seemed to be a +country squire. Well, I went up to the first, and offered it for sale; +he took the book, opened it at the title-page, and then all of a sudden +his eyes glistened, and he showed it to the fat, jolly gentleman, and his +eyes glistened too, and I heard him say 'How singular!' and then the two +talked together in a speech I didn't understand--I rather thought it was +French, at any rate it wasn't cant; and presently the first asked me what +I would take for the book. Now I am not altogether a fool, nor am I +blind, and I had narrowly marked all that passed, and it came into my +head that now was the time for making a man of myself, at any rate I +could lose nothing by a little confidence; so I looked the man boldly in +the face, and said, 'I will have five guineas for that book, there a'n't +such another in the whole world.' 'Nonsense,' said the first man, 'there +are plenty of them, there have been nearly fifty editions, to my +knowledge; I will give you five shillings.' 'No,' said I, 'I'll not take +it, for I don't like to be cheated, so give me my book again;' and I +attempted to take it away from the fat gentleman's hand. 'Stop,' said +the younger man, 'are you sure that you won't take less?' 'Not a +farthing,' said I; which was not altogether true, but I said so. 'Well,' +said the fat gentleman, 'I will give you what you ask;' and sure enough +he presently gave me the money; so I made a bow, and was leaving the +shop, when it came into my head that there was something odd in all this, +and, as I had got the money in my pocket, I turned back, and, making +another bow, said, 'May I be so bold as to ask why you gave me all this +money for that 'ere dirty book? When I came into the shop, I should have +been glad to get a shilling for it; but I saw you wanted it, and asked +five guineas.' Then they looked at one another, and smiled, and shrugged +up their shoulders. Then the first man, looking at me, said, 'Friend, +you have been a little too sharp for us; however, we can afford to +forgive you, as my friend here has long been in quest of this particular +book; there are plenty of editions, as I told you, and a common copy is +not worth five shillings; but this is a first edition, and a copy of the +first edition is worth its weight in gold.'" + +"So, after all, they outwitted you," I observed. + +"Clearly," said the man; "I might have got double the price, had I known +the value; but I don't care, much good may it do them, it has done me +plenty. By means of it I have got into an honest, respectable trade, in +which there's little danger and plenty of profit, and got out of one +which would have got me lagged, sooner or later." + +"But," said I, "you ought to remember that the thing was not yours; you +took it from me, who had been requested by a poor old apple-woman to +exchange it for a Bible." + +"Well," said the man, "did she ever get her Bible?" + +"Yes," said I, "she got her Bible." + +"Then she has no cause to complain; and, as for you, chance or something +else has sent you to me, that I may make you reasonable amends for any +loss you may have had. Here am I ready to make you my bonnet, with forty +or fifty shillings a week, which you say yourself are capital wages." + +"I find no fault with the wages," said I, "but I don't like the employ." + +"Not like bonneting," said the man; "ah, I see, you would like to be +principal; well, a time may come--those long white fingers of yours would +just serve for the business." + +"Is it a difficult one?" I demanded. + +"Why, it is not very easy: two things are needful--natural talent, and +constant practice; but I'll show you a point or two connected with the +game;" and, placing his table between his knees as he sat over the side +of the pit, he produced three thimbles, and a small brown pellet, +something resembling a pea. He moved the thimbles and pellet about, now +placing it to all appearance under one, and now under another. "Under +which is it now?" he said at last. "Under that," said I, pointing to the +lowermost of the thimbles, which, as they stood, formed a kind of +triangle. "No," said he, "it is not, but lift it up;" and, when I lifted +up the thimble, the pellet, in truth, was not under it. "It was under +none of them," said he, "it was pressed by my little finger against my +palm;" and then he showed me how he did the trick, and asked me if the +game was not a funny one; and, on my answering in the affirmative, he +said, "I am glad you like it; come along and let us win some money." + +Thereupon, getting up, he placed the table before him, and was moving +away; observing, however, that I did not stir, he asked me what I was +staying for. "Merely for my own pleasure," said I; "I like sitting here +very well." "Then you won't close?" said the man. "By no means," I +replied; "your proposal does not suit me." "You may be principal in +time," said the man. "That makes no difference," said I; and, sitting +with my legs over the pit, I forthwith began to decline an Armenian noun. +"That a'n't cant," said the man; "no, nor Gypsy, either. Well, if you +won't close, another will; I can't lose any more time;" and forthwith he +departed. + +And after I had declined four Armenian nouns, of different declensions, I +rose from the side of the pit, and wandered about amongst the various +groups of people scattered over the green. Presently I came to where the +man of the thimbles was standing, with the table before him, and many +people about him. "Them who finds, wins, and them who can't finds, +loses," he cried. Various individuals tried to find the pellet, but all +were unsuccessful, till at last considerable dissatisfaction was +expressed, and the terms rogue and cheat were lavished upon him. "Never +cheated anybody in all my life," he cried; and, observing me at hand, +"didn't I play fair, my lord?" he inquired. But I made no answer. +Presently some more played, and he permitted one or two to win, and the +eagerness to play with him became greater. After I had looked on for +some time, I was moving away: just then I perceived a short, thick +personage, with a staff in his hand, advancing in a great hurry; +whereupon, with a sudden impulse, I exclaimed-- + + "Shoon thimble-engro; + Avella Gorgio." {33} + +The man, who was in the midst of his pea and thimble process, no sooner +heard the last word of the distich, than he turned an alarmed look in the +direction of where I stood; then, glancing around, and perceiving the +constable, he slipped forthwith his pellet and thimbles into his pocket, +and, lifting up his table, he cried to the people about him, "Make way!" +and with a motion with his head to me, as if to follow him, he darted off +with a swiftness which the short, pursy constable could by no means +rival; and whither he went, or what became of him, I know not, inasmuch +as I turned away in another direction. + + + + +CHAPTER LIV + + +Mr. Petulengro--Rommany Rye--Lil Writers--One's Own Horn--Lawfully earnt +Money--The Wooded Hill--A Great Favourite--The Shop Window--Much Wanted. + +And, as I wandered along the green, I drew near to a place where several +men, with a cask beside them, sat carousing in the neighbourhood of a +small tent. "Here he comes," said one of them, as I advanced, and +standing up he raised his voice and sang:-- + + "Here the Gypsy gemman see, + With his Roman jib and his rome and dree-- + Rome and dree, rum and dry + Rally round the Rommany Rye." {35a} + +It was Mr. Petulengro, who was here diverting himself with several of his +comrades; they all received me with considerable frankness. "Sit down, +brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "and take a cup of good ale." + +I sat down. "Your health, gentlemen," said I, as I took the cup which +Mr. Petulengro handed to me. + +"Aukko tu pios {35b} adrey Rommanis. Here is your health in Rommany, +brother," said Mr. Petulengro; who, having refilled the cup, now emptied +it at a draught. + +"Your health in Rommany, brother," said Tawno Chikno, to whom the cup +came next. + +"The Rommany Rye," said a third. + +"The Gypsy gentleman," exclaimed a fourth, drinking. + +And then they all sang in chorus-- + + "Here the Gypsy gemman see, + With his Roman jib and his rome and dree-- + Rome and dree, rum and dry + Rally round the Rommany Rye." + +"And now, brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "seeing that you have drunk and +been drunken, you will perhaps tell us where you have been, and what +about?" + +"I have been in the Big City," said I, "writing lils." {36} + +"How much money have you got in your pocket, brother?" said Mr. +Petulengro. + +"Eighteenpence," said I; "all I have in the world." + +"I have been in the Big City, too," said Mr. Petulengro; "but I have not +written lils--I have fought in the ring--I have fifty pounds in my +pocket--I have much more in the world. Brother, there is considerable +difference between us." + +"I would rather be the lil-writer, after all," said the tall, handsome, +black man; "indeed, I would wish for nothing better." + +"Why so?" said Mr. Petulengro. + +"Because they have so much to say for themselves," said the black man, +"even when dead and gone. When they are laid in the churchyard, it is +their own fault if people a'n't talking of them. Who will know, after I +am dead, or bitchadey pawdel, that I was once the beauty of the world, or +that you Jasper were--" + +"The best man in England of my inches. That's true, Tawno--however, +here's our brother will perhaps let the world know something about us." + +"Not he," said the other, with a sigh; "he'll have quite enough to do in +writing his own lils, and telling the world how handsome and clever he +was; and who can blame him? Not I. If I could write lils, every word +should be about myself and my own tacho Rommanis {37}--my own lawful +wedded wife, which is the same thing. I tell you what, brother, I once +heard a wise man say in Brummagem, that 'there is nothing like blowing +one's own horn,' which I conceive to be much the same thing as writing +one's own lil." + +After a little more conversation, Mr. Petulengro arose, and motioned me +to follow him. "Only eighteenpence in the world, brother!" said he, as +we walked together. + +"Nothing more, I assure you. How came you to ask me how much money I +had?" + +"Because there was something in your look, brother, something very much +resembling that which a person showeth who does not carry much money in +his pocket. I was looking at my own face this morning in my wife's +looking-glass--I did not look as you do, brother." + +"I believe your sole motive for inquiring," said I, "was to have an +opportunity of venting a foolish boast, and to let me know that you were +in possession of fifty pounds." + +"What is the use of having money unless you let people know you have it?" +said Mr. Petulengro. "It is not every one can read faces, brother; and, +unless you knew I had money, how could you ask me to lend you any?" + +"I am not going to ask you to lend me any." + +"Then you may have it without asking; as I said before, I have fifty +pounds, all lawfully earnt money, got by fighting in the ring--I will +lend you that, brother." + +"You are very kind," said I; "but I will not take it." + +"Then the half of it?" + +"Nor the half of it; but it is getting towards evening, I must go back to +the Great City." + +"And what will you do in the Boro Foros?" {38} + +"I know not," said I. + +"Earn money?" + +"If I can." + +"And if you can't?" + +"Starve!" + +"You look ill, brother," said Mr. Petulengro. + +"I do not feel well; the Great City does not agree with me. Should I be +so fortunate as to earn some money, I would leave the Big City, and take +to the woods and fields." + +"You may do that, brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "whether you have money +or not. Our tents and horses are on the other side of yonder wooded +hill; come and stay with us; we shall all be glad of your company, but +more especially myself and my wife Pakomovna." + +"What hill is that?" I demanded. + +And then Mr. Petulengro told me the name of the hill. "We shall stay on +t'other side of the hill a fortnight," he continued; "and, as you are +fond of lil writing, you may employ yourself profitably whilst there. You +can write the lil of him whose dook {39a} gallops down that hill every +night, even as the living man was wont to do long ago." + +"Who was he?" I demanded. + +"Jemmy Abershaw," {39b} said Mr. Petulengro; "one of those whom we call +Boro drom engroes, and the Gorgios highwaymen. I once heard a rye say +that the life of that man would fetch much money; so come to the other +side of the hill, and write the lil in the tent of Jasper and his wife +Pakomovna." + +At first I felt inclined to accept the invitation of Mr. Petulengro; a +little consideration, however, determined me to decline it. I had always +been on excellent terms with Mr. Petulengro, but I reflected that people +might be excellent friends when they met occasionally in the street, or +on the heath, or in the wood; but that these very people when living +together in a house, to say nothing of a tent, might quarrel. I +reflected, moreover, that Mr. Petulengro had a wife. I had always, it is +true, been a great favourite with Mrs. Petulengro, who had frequently +been loud in her commendation of the young rye, as she called me, and his +turn of conversation; but this was at a time when I stood in need of +nothing, lived under my parents' roof, and only visited at the tents to +divert and to be diverted. The times were altered, and I was by no means +certain that Mrs. Petulengro, when she should discover that I was in need +both of shelter and subsistence, might not alter her opinion both with +respect to the individual and what he said--stigmatising my conversation +as saucy discourse, and myself as a scurvy companion; and that she might +bring over her husband to her own way of thinking, provided, indeed, he +should need any conducting. I therefore, though without declaring my +reasons, declined the offer of Mr. Petulengro, and presently, after +shaking him by the hand, bent again my course towards the Great City. + +I crossed the river at a bridge considerably above that hight of London; +for, not being acquainted with the way, I missed the turning which should +have brought me to the latter. Suddenly I found myself in a street of +which I had some recollection, and mechanically stopped before the window +of a shop at which various publications were exposed; it was that of the +bookseller to whom I had last applied in the hope of selling my ballads +or Ab Gwilym, and who had given me hopes that, in the event of my writing +a decent novel, or a tale, he would prove a purchaser. As I stood +listlessly looking at the window, and the publications which it +contained, I observed a paper affixed to the glass by wafers with +something written upon it. I drew yet nearer for the purpose of +inspecting it; the writing was in a fair round hand--"A Novel or Tale is +much wanted," was what was written. + + + + +CHAPTER LV + + +Bread and Water--Fair Play--Fashionable Life--Colonel B-----Joseph +Sell--The Kindly Glow--Easiest Manner Imaginable. + +"I must do something," said I, as I sat that night in my lonely +apartment, with some bread and a pitcher of water before me. + +Thereupon taking some of the bread, and eating it, I considered what I +was to do. "I have no idea what I am to do," said I, as I stretched my +hand towards the pitcher, "unless"--and here I took a considerable +draught--"I write a tale or a novel . . . That bookseller," I continued, +speaking to myself, "is certainly much in need of a tale or a novel, +otherwise he would not advertise for one. Suppose I write one; I appear +to have no other chance of extricating myself from my present +difficulties; surely it was Fate that conducted me to his window." + +"I will do it," said I, as I struck my hand against the table; "I will do +it." Suddenly a heavy cloud of despondency came over me. Could I do it? +Had I the imagination requisite to write a tale or a novel? "Yes, yes," +said I, as I struck my hand again against the table, "I can manage it; +give me fair play, and I can accomplish anything." + +But should I have fair play? I must have something to maintain myself +with whilst I wrote my tale, and I had but eighteenpence in the world. +Would that maintain me whilst I wrote my tale? Yes, I thought it would, +provided I ate bread, which did not cost much, and drank water, which +cost nothing; it was poor diet, it was true, but better men than myself +had written on bread and water; had not the big man told me so? or +something to that effect, months before? + +It was true there was my lodging to pay for; but up to the present time I +owed nothing, and perhaps, by the time that the people of the house asked +me for money, I should have written a tale or a novel, which would bring +me in money; I had paper, pens, and ink, and, let me not forget them, I +had candles in my closet, all paid for, to light me during my night work. +Enough, I would go doggedly to work upon my tale or novel. + +But what was the tale or novel to be about? Was it to be a tale of +fashionable life, about Sir Harry Somebody, and the Countess Something? +But I knew nothing about fashionable people, and cared less; therefore +how should I attempt to describe fashionable life? What should the tale +consist of? The life and adventures of some one. Good--but of whom? Did +not Mr. Petulengro mention one Jemmy Abershaw? Yes. Did he not tell me +that the life and adventures of Jemmy Abershaw would bring in much money +to the writer? Yes, but I knew nothing of that worthy. I heard, it is +true, from Mr. Petulengro, that when alive he committed robberies on the +hill on the side of which Mr. Petulengro had pitched his tents, and that +his ghost still haunted the hill at midnight; but those were scant +materials out of which to write the man's life. It is probable, indeed, +that Mr. Petulengro would be able to supply me with further materials if +I should apply to him, but I was in a hurry, and could not afford the +time which it would be necessary to spend in passing to and from Mr. +Petulengro, and consulting him. Moreover, my pride revolted at the idea +of being beholden to Mr. Petulengro for the materials of the history. No, +I would not write the history of Abershaw. Whose then--Harry Simms? +Alas, the life of Harry Simms had been already much better written by +himself than I could hope to do it; and, after all, Harry Simms, like +Jemmy Abershaw, was merely a robber. Both, though bold and extraordinary +men, were merely highwaymen. I questioned whether I could compose a tale +likely to excite any particular interest out of the exploits of a mere +robber. I want a character for my hero, thought I, something higher than +a mere robber; some one like--like Colonel B---. By the way, why should +I not write the life and adventures of Colonel B--- of Londonderry, in +Ireland? + +A truly singular man was this same Colonel B--- {43a} of Londonderry, in +Ireland; a personage of most strange and incredible feats and daring, who +had been a partisan soldier, a bravo--who, assisted by certain +discontented troopers, nearly succeeded in stealing the crown and regalia +from the Tower of London; who attempted to hang the Duke of Ormond, at +Tyburn; {43b} and whose strange, eventful career did not terminate even +with his life, his dead body, on the circulation of an unfounded report +that he did not come to his death by fair means, having been exhumed by +the mob of his native place, where he had retired to die, and carried in +the coffin through the streets. + +Of his life I had inserted an account in the "Newgate Lives and Trials"; +it was bare and meagre, and written in the stiff, awkward style of the +seventeenth century; it had, however, strongly captivated my imagination, +and I now thought that out of it something better could be made; that, if +I added to the adventures, and purified the style, I might fashion out of +it a very decent tale or novel. On a sudden, however, the proverb of +mending old garments with new cloth occurred to me. "I am afraid," said +I, "any new adventures which I can invent will not fadge well with the +old tale; one will but spoil the other." I had better have nothing to do +with Colonel B---, thought I, but boldly and independently sit down and +write the "Life of Joseph Sell." + +This Joseph Sell, dear reader, was a fictitious personage who had just +come into my head. I had never even heard of the name, but just at that +moment it happened to come into my head; I would write an entirely +fictitious narrative, called the "Life and Adventures of Joseph Sell, the +Great traveller." + +I had better begin at once, thought I; and removing the bread and the +jug, which latter was now empty, I seized pen and paper, and forthwith +essayed to write the "Life of Joseph Sell," but soon discovered that it +is much easier to resolve upon a thing than to achieve it, or even to +commence it; for the life of me I did not know how to begin, and, after +trying in vain to write a line, I thought it would be as well to go to +bed, and defer my projected undertaking till the morrow. + +So I went to bed, but not to sleep. During the greater part of the night +I lay awake, musing upon the work which I had determined to execute. For +a long time my brain was dry and unproductive; I could form no plan which +appeared feasible. At length I felt within my brain a kindly glow; it +was the commencement of inspiration; in a few minutes I had formed my +plan; I then began to imagine the scenes and the incidents. Scenes and +incidents flitted before my mind's eye so plentifully, that I knew not +how to dispose of them; I was in a regular embarrassment. At length I +got out of the difficulty in the easiest manner imaginable, namely, by +consigning to the depths of oblivion all the feebler and less stimulant +scenes and incidents, and retaining the better and more impressive ones. +Before morning I had sketched the whole work on the tablets of my mind, +and then resigned myself to sleep in the pleasing conviction that the +most difficult part of my undertaking was achieved. + + + + +CHAPTER LVI + + +Considerably Sobered--Power of Writing--The Tempter--Hungry Talent--Work +Concluded. + +Rather late in the morning I awoke; for a few minutes I lay still, +perfectly still; my imagination was considerably sobered; the scenes and +situations which had pleased me so much over night appeared to me in a +far less captivating guise that morning. I felt languid and almost +hopeless--the thought, however, of my situation soon roused me--I must +make an effort to improve the posture of my affairs; there was no time to +be lost; so I sprang out of bed, breakfasted on bread and water, and then +sat down doggedly to write the "Life of Joseph Sell." + +It was a great thing to have formed my plan, and to have arranged the +scenes in my head, as I had done on the preceding night. The chief thing +requisite at present was the mere mechanical act of committing them to +paper. This I did not find at first so easy as I could wish--I wanted +mechanical skill; but I persevered, and before evening I had written ten +pages. I partook of some bread and water; and, before I went to bed that +night, I had completed fifteen pages of my "Life of Joseph Sell." + +The next day I resumed my task--I found my power of writing considerably +increased; my pen hurried rapidly over the paper--my brain was in a +wonderfully teeming state; many scenes and visions which I had not +thought of before were evolved, and, as fast as evolved, written down; +they seemed to be more pat to my purpose, and more natural to my history, +than many others which I had imagined before, and which I made now give +place to these newer creations: by about midnight I had added thirty +fresh pages to my "Life and Adventures of Joseph Sell." + +The third day arose--it was dark and dreary out of doors, and I passed it +drearily enough within; my brain appeared to have lost much of its former +glow, and my pen much of its power; I, however, toiled on, but at +midnight had only added seven pages to my history of Joseph Sell. + +On the fourth day the sun shone brightly--I arose, and, having +breakfasted as usual, I fell to work. My brain was this day wonderfully +prolific, and my pen never before or since glided so rapidly over the +paper; towards night I began to feel strangely about the back part of my +head, and my whole system was extraordinarily affected. I likewise +occasionally saw double--a tempter now seemed to be at work within me. + +"You had better leave off now for a short space," said the tempter, "and +go out and drink a pint of beer; you have still one shilling left--if you +go on at this rate, you will go mad--go out and spend sixpence, you can +afford it, more than half your work is done." I was about to obey the +suggestion of the tempter, when the idea struck me that, if I did not +complete the work whilst the fit was on me, I should never complete it; +so I held on. I am almost afraid to state how many pages I wrote that +day of the "Life of Joseph Sell." + +From this time I proceeded in a somewhat more leisurely manner; but, as I +drew nearer and nearer to the completion of my task, dreadful fears and +despondencies came over me--It will be too late, thought I; by the time I +have finished the work, the bookseller will have been supplied with a +tale or a novel. Is it probable that, in a town like this, where talent +is so abundant--hungry talent too, a bookseller can advertise for a tale +or a novel, without being supplied with half a dozen in twenty-four +hours? I may as well fling down my pen--I am writing to no purpose. And +these thoughts came over my mind so often, that at last, in utter +despair, I flung down the pen. Whereupon the tempter within me +said--"And, now you have flung down the pen, you may as well fling +yourself out of the window; what remains for you to do?" Why to take it +up again, thought I to myself, for I did not like the latter suggestion +at all--and then forthwith I resumed the pen, and wrote with greater +vigour than before, from about six o'clock in the evening until I could +hardly see, when I rested for a while, when the tempter within me again +said, or appeared to say--"All you have been writing is stuff, it will +never do--a drug--a mere drug;" and methought these last words were +uttered in the gruff tones of the big publisher. "A thing merely to be +sneezed at," a voice like that of Taggart added; and then I seemed to +hear a sternutation,--as I probably did, for, recovering from a kind of +swoon, I found myself shivering with cold. The next day I brought my +work to a conclusion. + +But the task of revision still remained; for an hour or two I shrank from +it, and remained gazing stupidly at the pile of paper which I had written +over. I was all but exhausted, and I dreaded, on inspecting the sheets, +to find them full of absurdities which I had paid no regard to in the +furor of composition. But the task, however trying to my nerves, must be +got over; at last, in a kind of desperation, I entered upon it. It was +far from an easy one; there were, however, fewer errors and absurdities +than I had anticipated. About twelve o'clock at night I had got over the +task of revision. "To-morrow, for the bookseller," said I, as my head +sank on the pillow. "Oh me!" + + + + +CHAPTER LVII + + +Nervous Look--The Bookseller's Wife--The Last Stake--Terms--God +Forbid!--Will You Come to Tea?--A Light Heart. + +On arriving at the bookseller's shop, I cast a nervous look at the +window, for the purpose of observing whether the paper had been removed +or not. To my great delight the paper was in its place; with a beating +heart I entered, there was nobody in the shop; as I stood at the counter, +however, deliberating whether or not I should call out, the door of what +seemed to be a back-parlour opened and out came a well dressed lady-like +female, of about thirty, with a good-looking and intelligent countenance. +"What is your business, young man?" said she to me, after I had made her +a polite bow. "I wish to speak to the gentleman of the house," said I. +"My husband is not within at present," she replied; "what is your +business?" "I have merely brought something to show him," said I, "but I +will call again." "If you are the young gentleman who has been here +before," said the lady, "with poems and ballads, as, indeed, I know you +are," she added, smiling, "for I have seen you through the glass door, I +am afraid it will be useless; that is," she added, with another smile, +"if you bring us nothing else." "I have not brought you poems and +ballads now," said I, "but something widely different; I saw your +advertisement for a tale or a novel, and have written something which I +think will suit; and here it is," I added, showing the roll of paper +which I held in my hand. "Well," said the bookseller's wife, "you may +leave it, though I cannot promise you much chance of its being accepted. +My husband has already had several offered to him; however, you may leave +it; give it me. Are you afraid to entrust it to me?" she demanded +somewhat hastily, observing that I hesitated. "Excuse me," said I, "but +it is all I have to depend upon in the world; I am chiefly apprehensive +that it will not be read." "On that point I can reassure you," said the +good lady, smiling, and there was now something sweet in her smile. "I +give you my word that it shall be read; come again to-morrow morning at +eleven, when, if not approved, it shall be returned to you." + +I returned to my lodging, and forthwith betook myself to bed, +notwithstanding the earliness of the hour. I felt tolerably tranquil; I +had now cast my last stake, and was prepared to abide by the result. +Whatever that result might be, I could have nothing to reproach myself +with; I had strained all the energies which nature had given me in order +to rescue myself from the difficulties which surrounded me. I presently +sank into a sleep, which endured during the remainder of the day, and the +whole of the succeeding night. I awoke about nine on the morrow, and +spent my last threepence on a breakfast somewhat more luxurious than the +immediately preceding ones, for one penny of the sum was expended on the +purchase of milk. + +At the appointed hour I repaired to the house of the bookseller; the +bookseller was in his shop. "Ah," said he, as soon as I entered, "I am +glad to see you." There was an unwonted heartiness in the bookseller's +tones, an unwonted benignity in his face. "So," said he, after a pause, +"you have taken my advice, written a book of adventure; nothing like +taking the advice, young man, of your superiors in age. Well, I think +your book will do, and so does my wife, for whose judgment I have a great +regard; as well I may, as she is the daughter of a first-rate novelist, +deceased. I think I shall venture on sending your book to the press." +"But," said I, "we have not yet agreed upon terms." "Terms, terms," said +the bookseller; "ahem! well, there is nothing like coming to terms at +once. I will print the book, and give you half the profit when the +edition is sold." "That will not do," said I; "I intend shortly to leave +London: I must have something at once." "Ah, I see," said the +bookseller, "in distress; frequently the case with authors, especially +young ones. Well, I don't care if I purchase it of you, but you must be +moderate; the public are very fastidious, and the speculation may prove a +losing one after all. Let me see, will five . . . hem"--he stopped. I +looked the bookseller in the face; there was something peculiar in it. +Suddenly it appeared to me as if the voice of him of the thimble sounded +in my ear, "Now is your time, ask enough, never such another chance of +establishing yourself; respectable trade, pea and thimble." "Well," said +I at last, "I have no objection to take the offer which you were about to +make, though I really think five-and-twenty guineas to be scarcely +enough, everything considered." "Five-and-twenty guineas!" said the +bookseller; "are you--what was I going to say--I never meant to offer +half as much--I mean a quarter; I was going to say five guineas--I mean +pounds; I will, however, make it guineas." "That will not do," said I; +"but, as I find we shall not deal, return me my manuscript, that I may +carry it to some one else." The bookseller looked blank. "Dear me," +said he, "I should never have supposed that you would have made any +objection to such an offer; I am quite sure that you would have been glad +to take five pounds for either of the two huge manuscripts of songs and +ballads that you brought me on a former occasion." "Well," said I, "if +you will engage to publish either of those two manuscripts, you shall +have the present one for five pounds." "God forbid that I should make +any such bargain," said the bookseller; "I would publish neither on any +account; but, with respect to this last book, I have really an +inclination to print it, both for your sake and mine; suppose we say ten +pounds." "No," said I, "ten pounds will not do; pray restore me my +manuscript." "Stay," said the bookseller, "my wife is in the next room, +I will go and consult her." Thereupon he went into his back room, where +I heard him conversing with his wife in a low tone; in about ten minutes +he returned. "Young gentleman," said he, "perhaps you will take tea with +us this evening, when we will talk further over the matter." + +That evening I went and took tea with the bookseller and his wife, both +of whom, particularly the latter, overwhelmed me with civility. It was +not long before I learned that the work had been already sent to the +press, and was intended to stand at the head of a series of entertaining +narratives, from which my friends promised themselves considerable +profit. The subject of terms was again brought forward. I stood firm to +my first demand for a long time; when, however, the bookseller's wife +complimented me on my production in the highest terms, and said that she +discovered therein the germs of genius, which she made no doubt would +some day prove ornamental to my native land, I consented to drop my +demand to twenty pounds, stipulating, however, that I should not be +troubled with the correction of the work. + +Before I departed, I received the twenty pounds, and departed with a +light heart to my lodgings. + +Reader, amidst the difficulties and dangers of this life, should you ever +be tempted to despair, call to mind these latter chapters of the life of +Lavengro. There are few positions, however difficult, from which dogged +resolution and perseverance may not liberate you. + + + + +CHAPTER LVIII + + +Indisposition--A Resolution--Poor Equivalents--The Piece of Gold--Flashing +Eyes--How Beautiful!--Bon Jour, Monsieur. + +I had long ago determined to leave London as soon as the means should be +in my power, and, now that they were, I determined to leave the Great +City; yet I felt some reluctance to go. I would fain have pursued the +career of original authorship which had just opened itself to me, and +have written other tales of adventure. The bookseller had given me +encouragement enough to do so; he had assured me that he should be always +happy to deal with me for an article (that was the word) similar to the +one I had brought him, provided my terms were moderate; and the +bookseller's wife, by her complimentary language, had given me yet more +encouragement. But for some months past I had been far from well, and my +original indisposition, brought on partly by the peculiar atmosphere of +the Big City, partly by anxiety of mind, had been much increased by the +exertions which I had been compelled to make during the last few days. I +felt that, were I to remain where I was, I should die, or become a +confirmed valetudinarian. I would go forth into the country, travelling +on foot, and, by exercise and inhaling pure air, endeavour to recover my +health, leaving my subsequent movements to be determined by Providence. + +But whither should I bend my course? Once or twice I thought of walking +home to the old town, stay some time with my mother and my brother, and +enjoy the pleasant walks in the neighbourhood; but, though I wished very +much to see my mother and my brother, and felt much disposed to enjoy the +said pleasant walks, the old town was not exactly the place to which I +wished to go at this present juncture. I was afraid that people would +ask, Where are your Northern Ballads? Where are your alliterative +translations from Ab Gwilym--of which you were always talking, and with +which you promised to astonish the world? Now, in the event of such +interrogations, what could I answer? It is true I had compiled Newgate +Lives and Trials, and had written the life of Joseph Sell, but I was +afraid that the people of the old town would scarcely consider these as +equivalents for the Northern Ballads and the songs of Ab Gwilym. I would +go forth and wander in any direction but that of the old town. + +But how one's sensibility on any particular point diminishes with time; +at present I enter the old town perfectly indifferent as to what the +people may be thinking on the subject of the songs and ballads. With +respect to the people themselves, whether, like my sensibility, their +curiosity has altogether evaporated, or whether, which is at least +equally probable, they never entertained any, one thing is certain, that +never in a single instance have they troubled me with any remarks on the +subject of the songs and ballads. + +As it was my intention to travel on foot, with a bundle and a stick, I +despatched my trunk containing some few clothes and books to the old +town. My preparations were soon made; in about three days I was in +readiness to start. + +Before departing, however, I bethought me of my old friend the +apple-woman of London Bridge. Apprehensive that she might be labouring +under the difficulties of poverty, I sent her a piece of gold by the +hands of a young maiden in the house in which I lived. The latter +punctually executed her commission, but brought me back the piece of +gold. The old woman would not take it; she did not want it, she said. +"Tell the poor thin lad," she added, "to keep it for himself, he wants it +more than I." + +Rather late one afternoon I departed from my lodging, with my stick in +one hand and a small bundle in the other, shaping my course to the south- +west: when I first arrived, somewhat more than a year before, I had +entered the city by the north-east. As I was not going home, I +determined to take my departure in the direction the very opposite to +home. + +Just as I was about to cross the street called the Haymarket, at the +lower part, a cabriolet, drawn by a magnificent animal, came dashing +along at a furious rate; it stopped close by the curb-stone where I was, +a sudden pull of the reins nearly bringing the spirited animal upon its +haunches. The Jehu who had accomplished this feat was Francis Ardry. A +small beautiful female, with flashing eyes, dressed in the extremity of +fashion, sat beside him. + +"Holloa, friend," said Francis Ardry, "whither bound?" + +"I do not know," said I; "all I can say, is, that I am about to leave +London." + +"And the means?" said Francis Ardry. + +"I have them," said I, with a cheerful smile. + +"_Qui est celui-ci_?" demanded the small female, impatiently. + +"_C'est . . . mon ami le plus intime_; so you were about to leave London +without telling me a word," said Francis Ardry, somewhat angrily. + +"I intended to have written to you," said I: "what a splendid mare that +is." + +"Is she not?" said Francis Ardry, who was holding in the mare with +difficulty; "she cost a hundred guineas." + +"_Qu'est-ce qu'il dit_?" demanded his companion. + +"_Il dit que le jument est bien beau_." + +"_Allons_, _mon ami_, _il est tard_," said the beauty, with a scornful +toss of her head; "_allons_!" + +"_Encore un moment_," said Francis Ardry; "and when shall I see you +again?" + +"I scarcely know," I replied: "I never saw a more splendid turn-out." + +"_Qu'est-ce qu'il dit_?" said the lady again. + +"_Il dit que tout l'equipage est en assez bon gout_." + +"_Allons_, _c'est un ours_," said the lady; "_le cheval meme en a peur_," +added she, as the mare reared up on high. + +"Can you find nothing else to admire but the mare and the equipage?" said +Francis Ardry, reproachfully, after he had with some difficulty brought +the mare to order. + +Lifting my hand, in which I held my stick, I took off my hat. "How +beautiful!" said I, looking the lady full in the face. + +"_Comment_?" said the lady, inquiringly. + +"_Il dit que vous etes belle comme un ange_," said Francis Ardry, +emphatically. + +"_Mais_, _a la bonne heure! arretez_, _mon ami_," said the lady to +Francis Ardry, who was about to drive off; "_je voudrais bien causer un +moment avec lui_; _arretez_, _il est delicieux_.--_Est-ce bien ainsi que +vous traitez vos amis_?" said she, passionately, as Francis Ardry lifted +up his whip. "_Bon jour_, _Monsieur_, _bon jour_," said she, thrusting +her head from the side and looking back, as Francis Ardry drove off at +the rate of thirteen miles an hour. + + + + +CHAPTER LIX + + +The Milestone--The Meditation--Want to Get Up?--The Off-hand +Leader--Sixteen Shillings--The Near-hand Wheeler--All Right. + +In about two hours I had cleared the Great City, and got beyond the +suburban villages, or rather towns, in the direction in which I was +travelling; I was in a broad and excellent road, leading I knew not +whither. I now slackened my pace, which had hitherto been great. +Presently, coming to a milestone on which was graven nine miles, I rested +against it, and looking round towards the vast city, which had long +ceased to be visible, I fell into a train of meditation. + +I thought of all my ways and doings since the day of my first arrival in +that vast city--I had worked and toiled, and, though I had accomplished +nothing at all commensurate with the hopes which I had entertained +previous to my arrival, I had achieved my own living, preserved my +independence, and become indebted to no one. I was now quitting it, poor +in purse, it is true, but not wholly empty; rather ailing it may be, but +not broken in health; and, with hope within my bosom, had I not cause +upon the whole to be thankful? Perhaps there were some who, arriving at +the same time under not more favourable circumstances, had accomplished +much more, and whose future was far more hopeful--Good! But there might +be others who, in spite of all their efforts, had been either trodden +down in the press, never more to be heard of, or were quitting that +mighty town broken in purse, broken in health, and, oh! with not one dear +hope to cheer them. Had I not, upon the whole, abundant cause to be +grateful? Truly, yes! + +My meditation over, I left the milestone and proceeded on my way in the +same direction as before until the night began to close in. I had always +been a good pedestrian; but now, whether owing to indisposition or to not +having for some time past been much in the habit of taking such lengthy +walks, I began to feel not a little weary. Just as I was thinking of +putting up for the night at the next inn or public-house I should arrive +at, I heard what sounded like a coach coming up rapidly behind me. +Induced, perhaps, by the weariness which I felt, I stopped and looked +wistfully in the direction of the sound; presently up came a coach, +seemingly a mail, drawn by four bounding horses--there was no one upon it +but the coachman and the guard; when nearly parallel with me it stopped. +"Want to get up?" sounded a voice, in the true coachman-like tone--half +querulous, half authoritative. I hesitated; I was tired, it is true, but +I had left London bound on a pedestrian excursion, and I did not much +like the idea of having recourse to a coach after accomplishing so very +inconsiderable a distance. "Come, we can't be staying here all night," +said the voice, more sharply than before. "I can ride a little way, and +get down whenever I like," thought I; and springing forward I clambered +up the coach, and was going to sit down upon the box, next the coachman. +"No, no," said the coachman, who was a man about thirty, with a hooked +nose and red face, dressed in a fashionably cut great-coat, with a +fashionable black castor on his head. "No, no, keep behind--the box +a'n't for the like of you," said he, as he drove off; "the box is for +lords, or gentlemen at least." I made no answer. "D--- that off-hand +leader," said the coachman, as the right-hand front horse made a +desperate start at something he saw in the road; and, half rising, he +with great dexterity hit with his long whip the off-hand leader a cut on +the off cheek. "These seem to be fine horses," said I. The coachman +made no answer. "Nearly thoroughbred," I continued; the coachman drew +his breath, with a kind of hissing sound, through his teeth. "Come, +young fellow, none of your chaff. Don't you think, because you ride on +my mail, I'm going to talk to you about 'orses. I talk to nobody about +'orses except lords." "Well," said I, "I have been called a lord in my +time." "It must have been by a thimble-rigger, then," said the coachman, +bending back, and half turning his face round with a broad leer. "You +have hit the mark wonderfully," said I. "You coachmen, whatever else you +may be, are certainly no fools." "We a'n't, a'n't we?" said the +coachman. "There you are right; and, to show you that you are, I'll now +trouble you for your fare. If you have been amongst the thimble-riggers +you must be tolerably well cleared out. Where are you going?--to ---? I +think I have seen you there. The fare is sixteen shillings. Come, tip +us the blunt; them that has no money can't ride on my mail." + +Sixteen shillings was a large sum, and to pay it would make a +considerable inroad on my slender finances; I thought, at first, that I +would say I did not want to go so far; but then the fellow would ask at +once where I wanted to go, and I was ashamed to acknowledge my utter +ignorance of the road. I determined, therefore, to pay the fare, with a +tacit determination not to mount a coach in future without knowing +whither I was going. So I paid the man the money, who, turning round, +shouted to the guard--"All right, Jem; got fare to ---;" {63} and +forthwith whipped on his horses, especially the off-hand leader, for whom +he seemed to entertain a particular spite, to greater speed than +before--the horses flew. + +A young moon gave a feeble light, partially illuminating a line of road +which, appearing by no means interesting, I the less regretted having +paid my money for the privilege of being hurried along it in the flying +vehicle. We frequently changed horses; and at last my friend the +coachman was replaced by another, the very image of himself--hawk nose, +red face, with narrow-rimmed hat and fashionable benjamin. After he had +driven about fifty yards, the new coachman fell to whipping one of the +horses. "D--- this near-hand wheeler," said he, "the brute has got a +corn." "Whipping him won't cure him of his corn," said I. "Who told you +to speak?" said the driver, with an oath; "mind your own business; +'tisn't from the like of you I am to learn to drive 'orses." Presently I +fell into a broken kind of slumber. In an hour or two I was aroused by a +rough voice--"Got to ---, young man; get down if you please." I opened +my eyes--there was a dim and indistinct light, like that which precedes +dawn; the coach was standing still in something like a street; just below +me stood the guard. "Do you mean to get down," said he, "or will you +keep us here till morning? other fares want to get up." Scarcely knowing +what I did, I took my bundle and stick and descended, whilst two people +mounted. "All right, John," said the guard to the coachman, springing up +behind; whereupon off whisked the coach, one or two individuals who were +standing by disappeared, and I was left alone. + + + + +CHAPTER LX + + +The Still Hour--A Thrill--The Wondrous Circle--The Shepherd--Heaps and +Barrows--What do you Mean?--Milk of the Plains--Hengist Spared it--No +Presents. + +After standing still a minute or two, considering what I should do, I +moved down what appeared to be the street of a small straggling town; +presently I passed by a church, which rose indistinctly on my right hand; +anon there was the rustling of foliage and the rushing of waters. I +reached a bridge, beneath which a small stream {65} was running in the +direction of the south. I stopped and leaned over the parapet, for I +have always loved to look upon streams, especially at the still hours. +"What stream is this, I wonder?" said I, as I looked down from the +parapet into the water, which whirled and gurgled below. + +Leaving the bridge, I ascended a gentle acclivity, and presently reached +what appeared to be a tract of moory undulating ground. It was now +tolerably light, but there was a mist or haze abroad which prevented my +seeing objects with much precision. I felt chill in the damp air of the +early morn, and walked rapidly forward. In about half an hour I arrived +where the road divided into two, at an angle or tongue of dark green +sward. "To the right or the left?" said I, and forthwith took, without +knowing why, the left-hand road, along which I proceeded about a hundred +yards, when, in the midst of the tongue of sward formed by the two roads, +collaterally with myself, I perceived what I at first conceived to be a +small grove of blighted trunks of oaks, barked and grey. I stood still +for a moment, and then, turning off the road, advanced slowly towards it +over the sward; as I drew nearer, I perceived that the objects which had +attracted my curiosity, and which formed a kind of circle, were not +trees, but immense upright stones. A thrill pervaded my system; just +before me were two, the mightiest of the whole, tall as the stems of +proud oaks, supporting on their tops a huge transverse stone, and forming +a wonderful doorway. I knew now where I was, and, laying down my stick +and bundle, and taking off my hat, I advanced slowly, and cast myself--it +was folly, perhaps, but I could not help what I did--cast myself, with my +face on the dewy earth, in the middle of the portal of giants, beneath +the transverse stone. + +The spirit of Stonehenge was strong upon me! + +And after I had remained with my face on the ground for some time, I +arose, placed my hat on my head, and, taking up my stick and bundle, +wandered round the wondrous circle, examining each individual stone, from +the greatest to the least; and then, entering by the great door, seated +myself upon an immense broad stone, one side of which was supported by +several small ones, and the other slanted upon the earth; and there, in +deep meditation, I sat for an hour or two, till the sun shone in my face +above the tall stones of the eastern side. + +And as I still sat there, I heard the noise of bells, and presently a +large number of sheep came browsing past the circle of stones; two or +three entered, and grazed upon what they could find, and soon a man also +entered the circle at the northern side. + +"Early here, sir," said the man, who was tall, and dressed in a dark +green slop, and had all the appearance of a shepherd; "a traveller, I +suppose?" + +"Yes," said I, "I am a traveller. Are these sheep yours?" + +"They are, sir; that is, they are my master's. A strange place this, +sir," said he, looking at the stones; "ever here before?" + +"Never in body, frequently in mind." + +"Heard of the stones, I suppose; no wonder--all the people of the plain +talk of them." + +"What do the people of the plain say of them?" + +"Why, they say--How did they ever come here?" + +"Do they not suppose them to have been brought?" + +"Who should have brought them?" + +"I have read that they were brought by many thousand men." + +"Where from?" + +"Ireland." + +"How did they bring them?" + +"I don't know." + +"And what did they bring them for?" + +"To form a temple, perhaps." + +"What is that?" + +"A place to worship God in." + +"A strange place to worship God in." + +"Why?" + +"It has no roof." + +"Yes it has." + +"Where?" said the man, looking up. + +"What do you see above you?" + +"The sky." + +"Well?" + +"Well!" + +"Have you anything to say?" + +"How did these stones come here?" + +"Are there other stones like these on the plains?" said I. + +"None; and yet there are plenty of strange things on these downs." + +"What are they?" + +"Strange heaps, and barrows, and great walls of earth built on the tops +of hills." + +"Do the people of the plain wonder how they came there?" + +"They do not." + +"Why?" + +"They were raised by hands." + +"And these stones?" + +"How did they ever come here?" + +"I wonder whether they are here?" said I. + +"These stones?" + +"Yes." + +"So sure as the world," said the man; "and, as the world, they will stand +as long." + +"I wonder whether there is a world." + +"What do you mean?" + +"An earth, and sea, moon and stars, sheep and men." + +"Do you doubt it?" + +"Sometimes." + +"I never heard it doubted before." + +"It is impossible there should be a world." + +"It a'n't possible there shouldn't be a world." + +"Just so." At this moment a fine ewe, attended by a lamb, rushed into +the circle and fondled the knees of the shepherd. "I suppose you would +not care to have some milk," said the man. + +"Why do you suppose so?" + +"Because, so be, there be no sheep, no milk, you know; and what there +ben't is not worth having." + +"You could not have argued better," said I; "that is, supposing you have +argued; with respect to the milk you may do as you please." + +"Be still, Nanny," said the man; and producing a tin vessel from his +scrip, he milked the ewe into it. "Here is milk of the plains, master," +said the man, as he handed the vessel to me. + +"Where are those barrows and great walls of earth you were speaking of?" +said I, after I had drank some of the milk; "are there any near where we +are?" + +"Not within many miles; the nearest is yonder away," said the shepherd, +pointing to the south-east. "It's a grand place, that, but not like +this; quite different, and from it you have a sight of the finest spire +in the world." + +"I must go to it," said I, and I drank the remainder of the milk; +"yonder, you say." + +"Yes, yonder; but you cannot get to it in that direction, the river lies +between." + +"What river?" + +"The Avon." + +"Avon is British," said I. + +"Yes," said the man, "we are all British here." + +"No, we are not," said I. + +"What are we then?" + +"English." + +"A'n't they one?" + +"No." + +"Who were the British?" + +"The men who are supposed to have worshipped God in this place, and who +raised these stones." + +"Where are they now?" + +"Our forefathers slaughtered them, spilled their blood all about, +especially in this neighbourhood, destroyed their pleasant places, and +left not, to use their own words, one stone upon another." + +"Yes, they did," said the shepherd, looking aloft at the transverse +stone. + +"And it is well for them they did; whenever that stone, which English +hands never raised, is by English hands thrown down, woe, woe, woe to the +English race; spare it, English! Hengist spared it!--Here is sixpence." + +"I won't have it," said the man. + +"Why not?" + +"You talk so prettily about these stones; you seem to know all about +them." + +"I never receive presents; with respect to the stones, I say with +yourself, How did they ever come here?" + +"How did they ever come here?" said the shepherd. + + + + +CHAPTER LXI + + +The River--Arid Downs--A Prospect. + +Leaving the shepherd, I bent my way in the direction pointed out by him +as that in which the most remarkable of the strange remains of which he +had spoken lay. I proceeded rapidly, making my way over the downs +covered with coarse grass and fern; with respect to the river of which he +had spoken, I reflected that, either by wading or swimming, I could +easily transfer myself and what I bore to the opposite side. On arriving +at its banks, I found it a beautiful stream, but shallow, with here and +there a deep place, where the water ran dark and still. + +Always fond of the pure lymph, I undressed, and plunged into one of these +gulfs, from which I emerged, my whole frame in a glow, and tingling with +delicious sensations. After conveying my clothes and scanty baggage to +the farther side, I dressed, and then with hurried steps bent my course +in the direction of some lofty ground; I at length found myself on a high +road, leading over wide and arid downs; following the road for some miles +without seeing anything remarkable, I supposed at length that I had taken +the wrong path, and wended on slowly and disconsolately for some time, +till, having nearly surmounted a steep hill, I knew at once, from certain +appearances, that I was near the object of my search. Turning to the +right near the brow of the hill, I proceeded along a path which brought +me to a causeway leading over a deep ravine, and connecting the hill with +another which had once formed part of it, for the ravine was evidently +the work of art. I passed over the causeway, and found myself in a kind +of gateway which admitted me into a square space of many acres, +surrounded on all sides by mounds or ramparts of earth. {72a} Though I +had never been in such a place before, I knew that I stood within the +precincts of what had been a Roman encampment, and one probably of the +largest size, for many thousand warriors might have found room to perform +their evolutions in that space, in which corn was now growing, the green +ears waving in the morning wind. + +After I had gazed about the space for a time, standing in the gateway +formed by the mounds, I clambered up the mound to the left hand, and on +the top of that mound I found myself at a great altitude; beneath, at the +distance of a mile, was a fair old city, situated amongst verdant +meadows, watered with streams, and from the heart of that old city, from +amidst mighty trees, I beheld towering to the sky the finest spire in the +world. + +And after I had looked from the Roman rampart for a long time, I hurried +away, and, retracing my steps along the causeway, regained the road, and, +passing over the brow of the hill, descended to the city of the spire. +{72b} + + + + +CHAPTER LXII + + +The Hostelry--Life Uncertain--Open Countenance--The Grand Point--Thank +You, Master--A Hard Mother--Poor Dear!--Considerable Odds--The Better +Country--English Fashion--Landlord-looking Person. + +And in the old city I remained two days, passing my time as I best +could--inspecting the curiosities of the place, eating and drinking when +I felt so disposed, which I frequently did, the digestive organs having +assumed a tone to which for many months they had been strangers--enjoying +at night balmy sleep in a large bed in a dusky room, at the end of a +corridor, in a certain hostelry in which I had taken up my +quarters--receiving from the people of the hostelry such civility and +condescension as people who travel on foot with bundle and stick, but who +nevertheless are perceived to be not altogether destitute of coin, are in +the habit of receiving. On the third day, on a fine sunny afternoon, I +departed from the city of the spire. + +As I was passing through one of the suburbs, I saw, all on a sudden, a +respectable-looking female fall down in a fit; several persons hastened +to her assistance. "She is dead," said one. "No, she is not," said +another. "I am afraid she is," said a third. "Life is very uncertain," +said a fourth. "It is Mrs. ---," said a fifth; "let us carry her to her +own house." Not being able to render any assistance, I left the poor +female in the hands of her townsfolk, and proceeded on my way. I had +chosen a road in the direction of the north-west, it led over downs where +corn was growing, but where neither tree nor hedge was to be seen; two or +three hours' walking brought me to a beautiful valley, abounding with +trees of various kinds, with a delightful village at its farthest +extremity; passing through it I ascended a lofty acclivity, on the top of +which I sat down on a bank, and, taking off my hat, permitted a breeze, +which swept coolly and refreshingly over the downs, to dry my hair, +dripping from the effects of exercise and the heat of the day. + +And as I sat there, gazing now at the blue heavens, now at the downs +before me, a man came along the road in the direction in which I had +hitherto been proceeding: just opposite to me he stopped, and, looking at +me, cried--"Am I right for London, master?" + +He was dressed like a sailor, and appeared to be between twenty-five and +thirty years of age--he had an open manly countenance, and there was a +bold and fearless expression in his eye. + +"Yes," said I, in reply to his question; "this is one of the ways to +London. Do you come from far?" + +"From ---," said the man, naming a well-known seaport. + +"Is this the direct road to London from that place?" I demanded. + +"No," said the man; "but I had to visit two or three other places on +certain commissions I was entrusted with; amongst others to ---, where I +had to take a small sum of money. I am rather tired, master; and, if you +please, I will sit down beside you." + +"You have as much right to sit down here as I have," said I, "the road is +free for every one; as for sitting down beside me, you have the look of +an honest man, and I have no objection to your company." + +"Why, as for being honest, master," said the man, laughing and sitting +down by me, "I haven't much to say--many is the wild thing I have done +when I was younger; however, what is done, is done. To learn, one must +live, master; and I have lived long enough to learn the grand point of +wisdom." + +"What is that?" said I. + +"That honesty is the best policy, master." + +"You appear to be a sailor," said I, looking at his dress. + +"I was not bred a sailor," said the man, "though, when my foot is on the +salt water, I can play the part--and play it well too. I am now from a +long voyage." + +"From America?" said I. + +"Farther than that," said the man. + +"Have you any objection to tell me?" said I. + +"From New South Wales," said the man, looking me full in the face. + +"Dear me," said I. + +"Why do you say 'Dear me'?" said the man. + +"It is a very long way off," said I. + +"Was that your reason for saying so?" said the man. + +"Not exactly," said I. + +"No," said the man, with something of a bitter smile; "it was something +else that made you say so; you were thinking of the convicts." + +"Well," said I, "what then?--you are no convict." + +"How do you know?" + +"You do not look like one." + +"Thank you, master," said the man, cheerfully; "and, to a certain extent, +you are right--bygones are bygones--I am no longer what I was, nor ever +will be again; the truth, however, is the truth--a convict I have been--a +convict at Sydney Cove." + +"And you have served out the period for which you were sentenced, and are +now returned?" + +"As to serving out my sentence," replied the man, "I can't say that I +did; I was sentenced for fourteen years, and I was in Sydney Cove little +more than half that time. The truth is that I did the Government a +service. There was a conspiracy amongst some of the convicts to murder +and destroy--I overheard and informed the Government; mind one thing, +however, I was not concerned in it; those who got it up were no comrades +of mine, but a bloody gang of villains. Well, the Government, in +consideration of the service I had done them, remitted the remainder of +my sentence; and some kind gentlemen interested themselves about me, gave +me good books and good advice, and, being satisfied with my conduct, +procured me employ in an exploring expedition, by which I earned money. +In fact, the being sent to Sydney was the best thing that ever happened +to me in all my life." + +"And you have now returned to your native country. Longing to see home +brought you from New South Wales." + +"There you are mistaken," said the man. "Wish to see England again would +never have brought me so far; for, to tell you the truth, master, England +was a hard mother to me, as she has proved to many. No, a wish to see +another kind of mother--a poor old woman whose son I am--has brought me +back." + +"You have a mother, then?" said I. "Does she reside in London?" + +"She used to live in London," said the man; "but I am afraid she is long +since dead." + +"How did she support herself?" said I. + +"Support herself! with difficulty enough; she used to keep a small stall +on London Bridge, where she sold fruit; I am afraid she is dead, and that +she died perhaps in misery. She was a poor sinful creature; but I loved +her, and she loved me. I came all the way back merely for the chance of +seeing her." + +"Did you ever write to her," said I, "or cause others to write to her?" + +"I wrote to her myself," said the man, "about two years ago; but I never +received an answer. I learned to write very tolerably over there, by the +assistance of the good people I spoke of. As for reading, I could do +that very well before I went--my poor mother taught me to read, out of a +book that she was very fond of; a strange book it was, I remember. Poor +dear!--what I would give only to know that she is alive." + +"Life is very uncertain," said I. + +"That is true," said the man, with a sigh. + +"We are here one moment, and gone the next," I continued. "As I passed +through the streets of a neighbouring town, I saw a respectable woman +drop down, and people said she was dead. Who knows but that she too had +a son coming to see her from a distance, at that very time." + +"Who knows, indeed," said the man. "Ah, I am afraid my mother is dead. +Well, God's will be done." + +"However," said I, "I should not wonder at your finding your mother +alive." + +"You wouldn't?" said the man, looking at me wistfully. + +"I should not wonder at all," said I; "indeed, something within me seems +to tell me you will; I should not much mind betting five shillings to +five pence that you will see your mother within a week. Now, friend, +five shillings to five pence--" + +"Is very considerable odds," said the man, rubbing his hands; "sure you +must have good reason to hope, when you are willing to give such odds." + +"After all," said I, "it not unfrequently happens that those who lay the +long odds lose. Let us hope, however. What do you mean to do in the +event of finding your mother alive?" + +"I scarcely know," said the man; "I have frequently thought that if I +found my mother alive I would attempt to persuade her to accompany me to +the country which I have left--it is a better country for a man--that is +a free man--to live in than this; however, let me first find my mother--if +I could only find my mother--" + +"Farewell," said I, rising. "Go your way, and God go with you--I will go +mine." "I have but one thing to ask you," said the man. "What is that?" +I inquired. "That you would drink with me before we part--you have done +me so much good." "How should we drink?" said I; "we are on the top of a +hill where there is nothing to drink." "But there is a village below," +said the man; "do let us drink before we part." "I have been through +that village already," said I, "and I do not like turning back." "Ah," +said the man, sorrowfully, "you will not drink with me because I told you +I was--" "You are quite mistaken," said I, "I would as soon drink with a +convict as with a judge. I am by no means certain that, under the same +circumstances, the judge would be one whit better than the convict. Come +along! I will go back to oblige you. I have an odd sixpence in my +pocket, which I will change, that I may drink with you." So we went down +the hill together to the village through which I had already passed, +where, finding a public-house, we drank together in true English fashion, +after which we parted, the sailor-looking man going his way and I mine. + +After walking about a dozen miles, I came to a town, where I rested for +the night. The next morning I set out again in the direction of the +north-west. I continued journeying for four days, my daily journeys +varying from twenty to twenty-five miles. During this time nothing +occurred to me worthy of any especial notice. The weather was brilliant, +and I rapidly improved both in strength and spirits. On the fifth day, +about two o'clock, I arrived at a small town. Feeling hungry, I entered +a decent-looking inn--within a kind of bar I saw a huge, fat, landlord- +looking person, with a very pretty, smartly-dressed maiden. Addressing +myself to the fat man, "House!" said I, "House! Can I have dinner, +House?" + + + + +CHAPTER LXIII + + +Primitive Habits--Rosy-faced Damsel--A Pleasant Moment--Suit of Black--The +Furtive Glance--The Mighty Round--Degenerate Times--The Newspaper--The +Evil Chance--I Congratulate You. + +"Young gentleman," said the huge fat landlord, "you are come at the right +time; dinner will be taken up in a few minutes; and such a dinner," he +continued, rubbing his hands, "as you will not see every day in these +times." + +"I am hot and dusty," said I, "and should wish to cool my hands and +face." + +"Jenny!" said the huge landlord, with the utmost gravity, "show the +gentleman into number seven, that he may wash his hands and face." + +"By no means," said I, "I am a person of primitive habits, and there is +nothing like the pump in weather like this." + +"Jenny," said the landlord, with the same gravity as before, "go with the +young gentleman to the pump in the back kitchen, and take a clean towel +along with you." + +Thereupon the rosy-faced clean-looking damsel went to a drawer, and +producing a large, thick, but snowy white towel, she nodded to me to +follow her; whereupon I followed Jenny through a long passage into the +back kitchen. + +And at the end of the back kitchen there stood a pump; and going to it I +placed my hands beneath the spout, and said, "Pump, Jenny;" and Jenny +incontinently, without laying down the towel, pumped with one hand, and I +washed and cooled my heated hands. + +And, when my hands were washed and cooled, I took off my neckcloth, and, +unbuttoning my shirt collar, I placed my head beneath the spout of the +pump, and I said unto Jenny, "Now, Jenny, lay down the towel, and pump +for your life." + +Thereupon Jenny, placing the towel on a linen-horse, took the handle of +the pump with both hands and pumped over my head as handmaid had never +pumped before; so that the water poured in torrents from my head, my +face, and my hair down upon the brick floor. + +And, after the lapse of somewhat more than a minute, I called out with a +half-strangled voice, "Hold, Jenny!" and Jenny desisted. I stood for a +few moments to recover my breath, then taking the towel which Jenny +proffered, I dried composedly my hands and head, my face and hair; then, +returning the towel to Jenny, I gave a deep sigh and said, "Surely this +is one of the pleasant moments of life." + +Then, having set my dress to rights, and combed my hair with a pocket- +comb, I followed Jenny, who conducted me back through the long passage, +and showed me into a neat sanded parlour on the ground floor. + +I sat down by a window which looked out upon the dusty street; presently +in came the handmaid, and commenced laying the tablecloth. "Shall I +spread the table for one, sir," said she, "or do you expect anybody to +dine with you?" + +"I can't say that I expect anybody," said I, laughing inwardly to myself; +"however, if you please you can lay for two, so that if any acquaintance +of mine should chance to step in, he may find a knife and fork ready for +him." + +So I sat by the window, sometimes looking out upon the dusty street, and +now glancing at certain old-fashioned prints which adorned the wall over +against me. I fell into a kind of doze, from which I was almost +instantly awakened by the opening of the door. Dinner, thought I; and I +sat upright in my chair. No, a man of the middle age, and rather above +the middle height, dressed in a plain suit of black, made his appearance, +and sat down in a chair at some distance from me, but near to the table, +and appeared to be lost in thought. + +"The weather is very warm, sir," said I. + +"Very," said the stranger, laconically, looking at me for the first time. + +"Would you like to see the newspaper?" said I, taking up one which lay +upon the window seat. + +"I never read newspapers," said the stranger, "nor, indeed . . . " +Whatever it might be that he had intended to say he left unfinished. +Suddenly he walked to the mantelpiece at the farther end of the room, +before which he placed himself with his back towards me. There he +remained motionless for some time; at length, raising his hand, he +touched the corner of the mantelpiece with his finger, advanced towards +the chair which he had left, and again seated himself. + +"Have you come far?" said he, suddenly looking towards me, and speaking +in a frank and open manner, which denoted a wish to enter into +conversation. "You do not seem to be of this place." + +"I come from some distance," said I; "indeed, I am walking for exercise, +which I find as necessary to the mind as the body. I believe that by +exercise people would escape much mental misery." + +Scarcely had I uttered these words when the stranger laid his hand, with +seeming carelessness, upon the table, near one of the glasses; after a +moment or two he touched the glass with his finger as if inadvertently, +then, glancing furtively at me, he withdrew his hand and looked towards +the window. + +"Are you from these parts?" said I at last, with apparent carelessness. + +"From this vicinity," replied the stranger. "You think, then, that it is +as easy to walk off the bad humours of the mind as of the body?" + +"I, at least, am walking in that hope," said I. + +"I wish you may be successful," said the stranger; and here he touched +one of the forks which lay on the table near him. + +Here the door, which was slightly ajar, was suddenly pushed open with +some fracas, and in came the stout landlord, supporting with some +difficulty an immense dish, in which was a mighty round mass of smoking +meat garnished all round with vegetables; so high was the mass that it +probably obstructed his view, for it was not until he had placed it upon +the table that he appeared to observe the stranger; he almost started, +and quite out of breath exclaimed, "God bless me, your honour; is your +honour the acquaintance that the young gentleman was expecting?" + +"Is the young gentleman expecting an acquaintance?" said the stranger. + +There is nothing like putting a good face upon these matters, thought I +to myself; and, getting up, I bowed to the unknown. "Sir," said I, "when +I told Jenny that she might lay the tablecloth for two, so that in the +event of any acquaintance dropping in he might find a knife and fork +ready for him, I was merely jocular, being an entire stranger in these +parts, and expecting no one. Fortune, however, it would seem has been +unexpectedly kind to me; I flatter myself, sir, that since you have been +in this room I have had the honour of making your acquaintance; and in +the strength of that hope I humbly entreat you to honour me with your +company to dinner, provided you have not already dined." + +The stranger laughed outright. + +"Sir," I continued, "the round of beef is a noble one, and seems +exceedingly well boiled, and the landlord was just right when he said I +should have such a dinner as is not seen every day. A round of beef, at +any rate such a round of beef as this, is seldom seen smoking upon the +table in these degenerate times. Allow me, sir," said I, observing that +the stranger was about to speak, "allow me another remark. I think I saw +you just now touch the fork, I venture to hail it as an omen that you +will presently seize it, and apply it to its proper purpose, and its +companion the knife also." + +The stranger changed colour, and gazed upon me in silence. + +"Do, sir," here put in the landlord; "do, sir, accept the young +gentleman's invitation. Your honour has of late been looking poorly, and +the young gentleman is a funny young gentleman, and a clever young +gentleman; and I think it will do your honour good to have a dinner's +chat with the young gentleman." + +"It is not my dinner hour," said the stranger; "I dine considerably +later; taking anything now would only discompose me; I shall, however, be +most happy to sit down with the young gentleman; reach me that paper, +and, when the young gentleman has satisfied his appetite, we may perhaps +have a little chat together." + +The landlord handed the stranger the newspaper, and, bowing, retired with +his maid Jenny. I helped myself to a portion of the smoking round, and +commenced eating with no little appetite. The stranger appeared to be +soon engrossed with the newspaper. We continued thus a considerable +time--the one reading and the other dining. Chancing suddenly to cast my +eyes upon the stranger, I saw his brow contract; he gave a slight stamp +with his foot, and flung the newspaper to the ground, then stooping down +he picked it up, first moving his forefinger along the floor, seemingly +slightly scratching it with his nail. + +"Do you hope, sir," said I, "by that ceremony with the finger to preserve +yourself from the evil chance?" + +The stranger started; then, after looking at me for some time in silence, +he said, "Is it possible that you--?" + +"Ay, ay," said I, helping myself to some more of the round, "I have +touched myself in my younger days, both for the evil chance and the good. +Can't say, though, that I ever trusted much in the ceremony." {87} + +The stranger made no reply, but appeared to be in deep thought; nothing +farther passed between us until I had concluded the dinner, when I said +to him, "I shall now be most happy, sir, to have the pleasure of your +conversation over a pint of wine." + +The stranger rose; "No, my young friend," said he, smiling, "that would +scarce be fair. It is my turn now--pray do me the favour to go home with +me, and accept what hospitality my poor roof can offer; to tell you the +truth, I wish to have some particular discourse with you which would +hardly be possible in this place. As for wine, I can give you some much +better than you can get here: the landlord is an excellent fellow, but he +is an innkeeper after all. I am going out for a moment, and will send +him in, so that you may settle your account; I trust you will not refuse +me, I only live about two miles from here." + +I looked in the face of the stranger--it was a fine intelligent face, +with a cast of melancholy in it. "Sir," said I, "I would go with you +though you lived four miles instead of two." + +"Who is that gentleman?" said I to the landlord, after I had settled his +bill; "I am going home with him." + +"I wish I were going too," said the fat landlord, laying his hand upon +his stomach. "Young gentleman, I shall be a loser by his honour's taking +you away; but, after all, the truth is the truth--there are few gentlemen +in these parts like his honour, either for learning or welcoming his +friends. Young gentleman, I congratulate you." {88} + + + + +CHAPTER LXIV + + +New Acquaintance--Old French Style--The Portrait--Taciturnity--The +Evergreen Tree--The Dark Hour--The Flash--Ancestors--A Fortunate Man--A +Posthumous Child--Antagonist Ideas--The Hawks--Flaws--The +Pony--Irresistible Impulse--Favourable Crisis--The Topmost Branch--Twenty +Feet--Heartily Ashamed. + +I found the stranger awaiting me at the door of the inn. "Like yourself, +I am fond of walking," said he, "and when any little business calls me to +this place I generally come on foot." + +We were soon out of the town, and in a very beautiful country. After +proceeding some distance on the high road, we turned off, and were +presently in one of those mazes of lanes for which England is famous; the +stranger at first seemed inclined to be taciturn; a few observations, +however, which I made appeared to rouse him, and he soon exhibited not +only considerable powers of conversation, but stores of information which +surprised me. So pleased did I become with my new acquaintance, that I +soon ceased to pay the slightest attention either to place or distance. +At length the stranger was silent, and I perceived that we had arrived at +a handsome iron gate and a lodge; the stranger having rung a bell, the +gate was opened by an old man, and we proceeded along a gravel path, +which in about five minutes brought us to a large brick house, built +something in the old French style, having a spacious lawn before it, and +immediately in front a pond in which were golden fish, and in the middle +a stone swan discharging quantities of water from its bill. We ascended +a spacious flight of steps to the door, which was at once flung open, and +two servants with powdered hair, and in livery of blue plush, came out +and stood one on either side as we passed the threshold. We entered a +large hall, and the stranger, taking me by the hand, welcomed me to his +poor home, as he called it, and then gave orders to another servant, but +out of livery, to show me to an apartment, and give me whatever +assistance I might require in my toilet. Notwithstanding the plea as to +primitive habits which I had lately made to my other host in the town, I +offered no objection to this arrangement, but followed the bowing +domestic to a spacious and airy chamber, where he rendered me all those +little nameless offices which the somewhat neglected state of my dress +required. When everything had been completed to my perfect satisfaction, +he told me that if I pleased he would conduct me to the library, where +dinner would be speedily served. + +In the library I found a table laid for two; my host was not there, +having as I supposed not been quite so speedy with his toilette as his +guest. Left alone, I looked round the apartment with inquiring eyes; it +was long and tolerably lofty, the walls from the top to the bottom were +lined with cases containing books of all sizes and bindings; there was a +globe or two, a couch, and an easy chair. Statues and busts there were +none, and only one painting, a portrait, that of my host, but not him of +the mansion. Over the mantelpiece, the features staringly like, but so +ridiculously exaggerated that they scarcely resembled those of a human +being, daubed evidently by the hand of the commonest sign-artist, hung a +half-length portrait of him of round of beef celebrity--my sturdy host of +the town. + +I had been in the library about ten minutes, amusing myself as I best +could, when my friend entered; he seemed to have resumed his +taciturnity--scarce a word escaped his lips till dinner was served, when +he said, smiling, "I suppose it would be merely a compliment to ask you +to partake?" + +"I don't know," said I, seating myself; "your first course consists of +troutlets, I am fond of troutlets, and I always like to be +companionable." + +The dinner was excellent, though I did but little justice to it from the +circumstance of having already dined; the stranger also, though without +my excuse, partook but slightly of the good cheer; he still continued +taciturn, and appeared lost in thought, and every attempt which I made to +induce him to converse was signally unsuccessful. + +And now dinner was removed, and we sat over our wine, and I remember that +the wine was good, and fully justified the encomiums of my host of the +town. Over the wine I made sure that my entertainer would have loosened +the chain which seemed to tie his tongue--but no! I endeavoured to tempt +him by various topics, and talked of geometry and the use of the globes, +of the heavenly sphere, and the star Jupiter, which I said I had heard +was a very large star, also of the evergreen tree, which, according to +Olaus, stood of old before the heathen temple of Upsal, and which I +affirmed was a yew--but no, nothing that I said could induce my +entertainer to relax his taciturnity. + +It grew dark, and I became uncomfortable; "I must presently be going," I +at last exclaimed. + +At these words he gave a sudden start; "Going," said he, "are you not my +guest, and an honoured one?" + +"You know best," said I; "but I was apprehensive I was an intruder; to +several of my questions you have returned no answer." + +"Ten thousand pardons!" he exclaimed, seizing me by the hand; "but you +cannot go now, I have much to talk to you about--there is one thing in +particular--" + +"If it be the evergreen tree at Upsal," said I, interrupting him, "I hold +it to have been a yew--what else? The evergreens of the south, as the +old bishop observes, will not grow in the north, and a pine was unfitted +for such a locality, being a vulgar tree. What else could it have been +but the yew--the sacred yew which our ancestors were in the habit of +planting in their churchyards? Moreover, I affirm it to have been the +yew for the honour of the tree; for I love the yew, and had I home and +land, I would have one growing before my front windows." + +"You would do right, the yew is indeed a venerable tree, but it is not +about the yew." + +"The star Jupiter, perhaps?" + +"Nor the star Jupiter, nor its moons; an observation which escaped you at +the inn has made a considerable impression upon me." + +"But I really must take my departure," said I; "the dark hour is at +hand." + +And as I uttered these latter words the stranger touched rapidly +something which lay near him--I forget what it was. It was the first +action of the kind which I had observed on his part since we sat down to +table. + +"You allude to the evil chance," said I; "but it is getting both dark and +late." + +"I believe we are going to have a storm," said my friend, "but I really +hope that you will give me your company for a day or two; I have, as I +said before, much to talk to you about." + +"Well," said I, "I shall be most happy to be your guest for this night; I +am ignorant of the country, and it is not pleasant to travel unknown +paths by night--dear me, what a flash of lightning!" + +It had become very dark; suddenly a blaze of sheet lightning illumed the +room. By the momentary light I distinctly saw my host touch another +object upon the table. + +"Will you allow me to ask you a question or two?" said he at last. + +"As many as you please," said I; "but shall we not have lights?" + +"Not unless you particularly wish it," said my entertainer; "I rather +like the dark, and though a storm is evidently at hand, neither thunder +nor lightning has any terrors for me. It is other things I quake at--I +should rather say ideas. Now permit me to ask you . . ." + +And then my entertainer asked me various questions, to all of which I +answered unreservedly; he was then silent for some time, at last he +exclaimed, "I should wish to tell you the history of my life--though not +an adventurous one, I think it contains some things which will interest +you." + +Without waiting for my reply he began. Amidst darkness and gloom, +occasionally broken by flashes of lightning, the stranger related to me, +as we sat at table in the library, his truly touching history. + +"Before proceeding to relate the events of my life, it will not be amiss +to give you some account of my ancestors. My great-grandfather on the +male side was a silk mercer, in Cheapside, who, when he died, left his +son, who was his only child, a fortune of one hundred thousand pounds, +and a splendid business; the son, however, had no inclination for trade, +the summit of his ambition was to be a country gentleman, to found a +family, and to pass the remainder of his days in rural ease and dignity, +and all this he managed to accomplish; he disposed of his business, +purchased a beautiful and extensive estate for four score thousand +pounds, built upon it the mansion to which I had the honour of welcoming +you to-day, married the daughter of a neighbouring squire, who brought +him a fortune of five thousand pounds, became a magistrate, and only +wanted a son and heir to make him completely happy; this blessing, it is +true, was for a long time denied him; it came, however, at last, as is +usual, when least expected. His lady was brought to bed of my father, +and then who so happy a man as my grandsire; he gave away two thousand +pounds in charities, and in the joy of his heart made a speech at the +next quarter sessions; the rest of his life was spent in ease, +tranquillity, and rural dignity; he died of apoplexy on the day that my +father came of age; perhaps it would be difficult to mention a man who in +all respects was so fortunate as my grandfather: his death was sudden it +is true, but I am not one of those who pray to be delivered from a sudden +death. + +"I should not call my father a fortunate man; it is true that he had the +advantage of a first-rate education; that he made the grand tour with a +private tutor, as was the fashion at that time; that he came to a +splendid fortune on the very day that he came of age; that for many years +he tasted all the diversions of the capital; that, at last determined to +settle, he married the sister of a baronet, an amiable and accomplished +lady, with a large fortune; that he had the best stud of hunters in the +county, on which, during the season, he followed the fox gallantly; had +he been a fortunate man he would never have cursed his fate, as he was +frequently known to do; ten months after his marriage his horse fell upon +him, and so injured him, that he expired in a few days in great agony. My +grandfather was, indeed, a fortunate man; when he died he was followed to +the grave by the tears of the poor--my father was not. + +"Two remarkable circumstances are connected with my birth--I am a +posthumous child, and came into the world some weeks before the usual +time, the shock which my mother experienced at my father's death having +brought on the pangs of premature labour; both my mother's life and my +own were at first despaired of; we both, however, survived the crisis. My +mother loved me with the most passionate fondness, and I was brought up +in this house under her own eye--I was never sent to school. + +"I have already told you that mine is not a tale of adventure; my life +has not been one of action, but of wild imaginings and strange +sensations; I was born with excessive sensibility, and that has been my +bane. I have not been a fortunate man. + +"No one is fortunate unless he is happy, and it is impossible for a being +constructed like myself to be happy for an hour, or even enjoy peace and +tranquillity; most of our pleasures and pains are the effects of +imagination, and wherever the sensibility is great, the imagination is +great also. No sooner has my imagination raised up an image of pleasure, +than it is sure to conjure up one of distress and gloom; these two +antagonist ideas instantly commence a struggle in my mind, and the gloomy +one generally, I may say invariably, prevails. How is it possible that I +should be a happy man? + +"It has invariably been so with me from the earliest period that I can +remember; the first playthings that were given me caused me for a few +minutes excessive pleasure: they were pretty and glittering; presently, +however, I became anxious and perplexed, I wished to know their history, +how they were made, and what of--were the materials precious; I was not +satisfied with their outward appearance. In less than an hour I had +broken the playthings in an attempt to discover what they were made of. + +"When I was eight years of age my uncle the baronet, who was also my +godfather, sent me a pair of Norway hawks, with directions for managing +them; he was a great fowler. Oh, how rejoiced was I with the present +which had been made me, my joy lasted for at least five minutes; I would +let them breed, I would have a house of hawks; yes, that I would--but--and +here came the unpleasant idea--suppose they were to fly away, how very +annoying! Ah, but, said hope, there's little fear of that; feed them +well and they will never fly away, or if they do they will come back, my +uncle says so; so sunshine triumphed for a little time. Then the +strangest of all doubts came into my head; I doubted the legality of my +tenure of these hawks; how did I come by them? why, my uncle gave them to +me; but how did they come into his possession? what right had he to them? +after all, they might not be his to give.--I passed a sleepless night. +The next morning I found that the man who brought the hawks had not +departed. 'How came my uncle by these hawks?' I anxiously inquired. +'They were sent to him from Norway, master, with another pair.' 'And who +sent them?' 'That I don't know, master, but I suppose his honour can +tell you.' I was even thinking of scrawling a letter to my uncle to make +inquiry on this point, but shame restrained me, and I likewise reflected +that it would be impossible for him to give my mind entire satisfaction; +it is true he could tell who sent him the hawks, but how was he to know +how the hawks came into the possession of those who sent them to him, and +by what right they possessed them or the parents of the hawks? In a +word, I wanted a clear valid title, as lawyers would say, to my hawks, +and I believe no title would have satisfied me that did not extend up to +the time of the first hawk, that is, prior to Adam; and, could I have +obtained such a title, I make no doubt that, young as I was, I should +have suspected that it was full of flaws. + +"I was now disgusted with the hawks, and no wonder, seeing all the +disquietude they had caused me; I soon totally neglected the poor birds, +and they would have starved had not some of the servants taken compassion +upon them and fed them. My uncle, soon hearing of my neglect, was angry, +and took the birds away; he was a very good-natured man, however, and +soon sent me a fine pony; at first I was charmed with the pony; soon, +however, the same kind of thoughts arose which had disgusted me on a +former occasion. How did my uncle become possessed of the pony? This +question I asked him the first time I saw him. Oh, he had bought it of a +Gypsy, that I might learn to ride upon it. A Gypsy; I had heard that +Gypsies were great thieves, and I instantly began to fear that the Gypsy +had stolen the pony, and it is probable that for this apprehension I had +better grounds than for many others. I instantly ceased to set any value +upon the pony, but for that reason, perhaps, I turned it to some account; +I mounted it, and rode it about, which I don't think I should have done +had I looked upon it as a secure possession. Had I looked upon my title +as secure, I should have prized it so much, that I should scarcely have +mounted it for fear of injuring the animal; but now, caring not a straw +for it, I rode it most unmercifully, and soon became a capital rider. +This was very selfish in me, and I tell the fact with shame. I was +punished, however, as I deserved; the pony had a spirit of its own, and, +moreover, it had belonged to Gypsies; once, as I was riding it furiously +over the lawn, applying both whip and spur, it suddenly lifted up its +heels, and flung me at least five yards over its head. I received some +desperate contusions, and was taken up for dead; it was many months +before I perfectly recovered. + +"But it is time for me to come to the touching part of my story. There +was one thing that I loved better than the choicest gift which could be +bestowed upon me, better than life itself--my mother;--at length she +became unwell, and the thought that I might possibly lose her now rushed +into my mind for the first time; it was terrible, and caused me +unspeakable misery, I may say horror. My mother became worse, and I was +not allowed to enter her apartment, lest by my frantic exclamations of +grief I might aggravate her disorder. I rested neither day nor night, +but roamed about the house like one distracted. Suddenly I found myself +doing that which even at the time struck me as being highly singular; I +found myself touching particular objects that were near me, and to which +my fingers seemed to be attracted by an irresistible impulse. It was now +the table or the chair that I was compelled to touch; now the bell-rope; +now the handle of the door; now I would touch the wall, and the next +moment stooping down, I would place the point of my finger upon the +floor: and so I continued to do day after day; frequently I would +struggle to resist the impulse, but invariably in vain. I have even +rushed away from the object, but I was sure to return, the impulse was +too strong to be resisted: I quickly hurried back, compelled by the +feeling within me to touch the object. Now I need not tell you that what +impelled me to these actions was the desire to prevent my mother's death; +whenever I touched any particular object, it was with the view of +baffling the evil chance, as you would call it--in this instance my +mother's death. + +"A favourable crisis occurred in my mother's complaint, and she +recovered; this crisis took place about six o'clock in the morning; +almost simultaneously with it there happened to myself a rather +remarkable circumstance connected with the nervous feeling which was +rioting in my system. I was lying in bed in a kind of uneasy doze, the +only kind of rest which my anxiety, on account of my mother, permitted me +at this time to take, when all at once I sprang up as if electrified, the +mysterious impulse was upon me, and it urged me to go without delay, and +climb a stately elm behind the house, and touch the topmost branch; +otherwise--you know the rest--the evil chance would prevail. Accustomed +for some time as I had been, under this impulse, to perform extravagant +actions, I confess to you that the difficulty and peril of such a feat +startled me; I reasoned against the feeling, and strove more strenuously +than I had ever done before; I even made a solemn vow not to give way to +the temptation, but I believe nothing less than chains, and those strong +ones, could have restrained me. The demoniac influence, for I can call +it nothing else, at length prevailed; it compelled me to rise, to dress +myself, to descend the stairs, to unbolt the door, and to go forth; it +drove me to the foot of the tree, and it compelled me to climb the trunk; +this was a tremendous task, and I only accomplished it after repeated +falls and trials. When I had got amongst the branches, I rested for a +time, and then set about accomplishing the remainder of the ascent; this +for some time was not so difficult, for I was now amongst the branches; +as I approached the top, however, the difficulty became greater, and +likewise the danger; but I was a light boy, and almost as nimble as a +squirrel, and, moreover, the nervous feeling was within me, impelling me +upward. It was only by means of a spring, however, that I was enabled to +touch the top of the tree; I sprang, touched the top of the tree, and +fell a distance of at least twenty feet, amongst the branches; had I +fallen to the bottom I must have been killed, but I fell into the middle +of the tree, and presently found myself astride upon one of the boughs; +scratched and bruised all over, I reached the ground, and regained my +chamber unobserved; I flung myself on my bed quite exhausted; presently +they came to tell me that my mother was better--they found me in the +state which I have described, and in a fever besides. The favourable +crisis must have occurred just about the time that I performed the magic +touch; it certainly was a curious coincidence, yet I was not weak enough, +even though a child, to suppose that I had baffled the evil chance by my +daring feat. + +"Indeed, all the time that I was performing these strange feats, I knew +them to be highly absurd, yet the impulse to perform them was +irresistible--a mysterious dread hanging over me till I had given way to +it; even at that early period I frequently used to reason within myself +as to what could be the cause of my propensity to touch, but of course I +could come to no satisfactory conclusion respecting it; being heartily +ashamed of the practice, I never spoke of it to any one, and was at all +times highly solicitous that no one should observe my weakness." + + + + +CHAPTER LXV + + +Maternal Anxiety--The Baronet--Little Zest--Country Life--Mr. +Speaker!--The Craving--Spirited Address--An Author. + +After a short pause my host resumed his narration. "Though I was never +sent to school, my education was not neglected on that account; I had +tutors in various branches of knowledge, under whom I made a tolerable +progress; by the time I was eighteen I was able to read most of the Greek +and Latin authors with facility; I was likewise, to a certain degree, a +mathematician. I cannot say that I took much pleasure in my studies; my +chief aim in endeavouring to accomplish my tasks was to give pleasure to +my beloved parent, who watched my progress with anxiety truly maternal. +My life at this period may be summed up in a few words; I pursued my +studies, roamed about the woods, walked the green lanes occasionally, +cast my fly in a trout stream, and sometimes, but not often, rode +a-hunting with my uncle. A considerable part of my time was devoted to +my mother, conversing with her and reading to her; youthful companions I +had none, and as to my mother, she lived in the greatest retirement, +devoting herself to the superintendence of my education, and the practice +of acts of charity; nothing could be more innocent than this mode of +life, and some people say that in innocence there is happiness, yet I +can't say that I was happy. A continual dread overshadowed my mind, it +was the dread of my mother's death. Her constitution had never been +strong, and it had been considerably shaken by her last illness; this I +knew, and this I saw--for the eyes of fear are marvellously keen. Well, +things went on in this way till I had come of age; my tutors were then +dismissed, and my uncle the baronet took me in hand, telling my mother +that it was high time for him to exert his authority; that I must see +something of the world, for that, if I remained much longer with her, I +should be ruined. 'You must consign him to me,' said he, 'and I will +introduce him to the world.' My mother sighed and consented; so my uncle +the baronet introduced me to the world, took me to horse-races and to +London, and endeavoured to make a man of me according to his idea of the +term, and in part succeeded. I became moderately dissipated--I say +moderately, for dissipation had but little zest for me. + +"In this manner four years passed over. It happened that I was in London +in the height of the season with my uncle, at his house; one morning he +summoned me into the parlour, he was standing before the fire, and looked +very serious. 'I have had a letter,' said he; 'your mother is very ill.' +I staggered, and touched the nearest object to me; nothing was said for +two or three minutes, and then my uncle put his lips to my ear and +whispered something. I fell down senseless. My mother was . . . I +remember nothing for a long time--for two years I was out of my mind; at +the end of this time I recovered, or partly so. My uncle the baronet was +very kind to me; he advised me to travel, he offered to go with me. I +told him he was very kind, but I would rather go by myself. So I went +abroad, and saw, amongst other things, Rome and the Pyramids. By +frequent change of scene my mind became not happy, but tolerably +tranquil. I continued abroad some years, when, becoming tired of +travelling, I came home, found my uncle the baronet alive, hearty, and +unmarried, as he still is. He received me very kindly, took me to +Newmarket, and said that he hoped by this time I was become quite a man +of the world; by his advice I took a house in town, in which I lived +during the season. In summer I strolled from one watering-place to +another; and, in order to pass the time, I became very dissipated. + +"At last I became as tired of dissipation as I had previously been of +travelling, and I determined to retire to the country, and live on my +paternal estate; this resolution I was not slow in putting into effect; I +sold my house in town, repaired and refurnished my country house, and, +for at least ten years, lived a regular country life; I gave dinner +parties, prosecuted poachers, was charitable to the poor, and now and +then went into my library; during this time I was seldom or never visited +by the magic impulse, the reason being, that there was nothing in the +wide world for which I cared sufficiently to move a finger to preserve +it. When the ten years, however, were nearly ended, I started out of bed +one morning in a fit of horror, exclaiming, 'Mercy, mercy! what will +become of me? I am afraid I shall go mad. I have lived thirty-five +years and upwards without doing anything; shall I pass through life in +this manner? Horror!' And then in rapid succession I touched three +different objects. + +"I dressed myself and went down, determining to set about something; but +what was I to do?--there was the difficulty. I ate no breakfast, but +walked about the room in a state of distraction; at last I thought that +the easiest way to do something was to get into Parliament, there would +be no difficulty in that. I had plenty of money, and could buy a seat; +but what was I to do in Parliament? Speak, of course--but could I speak? +'I'll try at once,' said I, and forthwith I rushed into the largest +dining-room, and, locking the door, I commenced speaking; 'Mr. Speaker,' +said I, and then I went on speaking for about ten minutes as I best +could, and then I left off, for I was talking nonsense. No, I was not +formed for Parliament; I could do nothing there. What--what was I to do? + +"Many, many times I thought this question over, but was unable to solve +it; a fear now stole over me that I was unfit for anything in the world, +save the lazy life of vegetation which I had for many years been leading; +yet, if that were the case, thought I, why the craving within me to +distinguish myself? Surely it does not occur fortuitously, but is +intended to rouse and call into exercise certain latent powers that I +possess? and then with infinite eagerness I set about attempting to +discover these latent powers. I tried an infinity of pursuits, botany +and geology amongst the rest, but in vain; I was fitted for none of them. +I became very sorrowful and despondent, and at one time I had almost +resolved to plunge again into the whirlpool of dissipation; it was a +dreadful resource, it was true, but what better could I do? + +"But I was not doomed to return to the dissipation of the world. One +morning a young nobleman, who had for some time past showed a wish to +cultivate my acquaintance, came to me in a considerable hurry. 'I am +come to beg an important favour of you,' said he; 'one of the county +memberships is vacant--I intend to become a candidate; what I want +immediately is a spirited address to the electors. I have been +endeavouring to frame one all the morning, but in vain; I have, +therefore, recourse to you as a person of infinite genius; pray, my dear +friend, concoct me one by the morning.' 'What you require of me,' I +replied, 'is impossible; I have not the gift of words; did I possess it I +would stand for the county myself, but I can't speak. Only the other day +I attempted to make a speech, but left off suddenly, utterly ashamed, +although I was quite alone, of the nonsense I was uttering.' 'It is not +a speech that I want,' said my friend, 'I can talk for three hours +without hesitating, but I want an address to circulate through the +county, and I find myself utterly incompetent to put one together; do +oblige me by writing one for me, I know you can; and, if at any time you +want a person to speak for you, you may command me not for three but for +six hours. Good morning; to-morrow I will breakfast with you.' In the +morning he came again. 'Well,' said he, 'what success?' 'Very poor,' +said I; 'but judge for yourself;' and I put into his hand a manuscript of +several pages. My friend read it through with considerable attention. 'I +congratulate you,' said he, 'and likewise myself; I was not mistaken in +my opinion of you; the address is too long by at least two-thirds, or I +should rather say, that it is longer by two-thirds than addresses +generally are; but it will do--I will not curtail it of a word. I shall +win my election.' And in truth he did win his election; and it was not +only his own but the general opinion that he owed it to the address. + +"But, however that might be, I had, by writing the address, at last +discovered what had so long eluded my search--what I was able to do. I, +who had neither the nerve nor the command of speech necessary to +constitute the orator--who had not the power of patient research required +by those who would investigate the secrets of nature, had, nevertheless, +a ready pen and teeming imagination. This discovery decided my fate--from +that moment I became an author." + + + + +CHAPTER LXVI + + +Trepidations--Subtle Principle--Perverse Imagination--Are they +Mine?--Another Book--How Hard!--Agricultural Dinner--Incomprehensible +Actions--Inmost Bosom--Give it Up--Chance Resemblance--Rascally +Newspaper. + +"An author," said I, addressing my host; "is it possible that I am under +the roof of an author?" + +"Yes," said my host, sighing, "my name is so and so, and I am the author +of so and so; it is more than probable that you have heard both of my +name and works. I will not detain you much longer with my history; the +night is advancing, and the storm appears to be upon the increase. My +life since the period of my becoming an author may be summed briefly as +an almost uninterrupted series of doubts, anxieties, and trepidations. I +see clearly that it is not good to love anything immoderately in this +world, but it has been my misfortune to love immoderately everything on +which I have set my heart. This is not good, I repeat--but where is the +remedy? The ancients were always in the habit of saying, 'Practise +moderation,' but the ancients appear to have considered only one portion +of the subject. It is very possible to practise moderation in some +things, in drink and the like--to restrain the appetites--but can a man +restrain the affections of his mind, and tell them, so far you shall go, +and no farther? Alas, no! for the mind is a subtle principle, and cannot +be confined. The winds may be imprisoned; Homer says that Odysseus +carried certain winds in his ship, confined in leathern bags, but Homer +never speaks of confining the affections. It were but right that those +who exhort us against inordinate affections, and setting our hearts too +much upon the world and its vanities, would tell us how to avoid doing +so. + +"I need scarcely tell you, that no sooner did I become an author, than I +gave myself up immoderately to my vocation. It became my idol, and, as a +necessary consequence, it has proved a source of misery and disquietude +to me, instead of pleasure and blessing. I had trouble enough in writing +my first work, and I was not long in discovering that it was one thing to +write a stirring and spirited address to a set of county electors, and +another widely different to produce a work at all calculated to make an +impression upon the great world. I felt, however, that I was in my +proper sphere, and by dint of unwearied diligence and exertion I +succeeded in evolving from the depths of my agitated breast a work which, +though it did not exactly please me, I thought would serve to make an +experiment upon the public; so I laid it before the public, and the +reception which it met with was far beyond my wildest expectations. The +public were delighted with it, but what were my feelings? Anything, +alas! but those of delight. No sooner did the public express its +satisfaction at the result of my endeavours, than my perverse imagination +began to conceive a thousand chimerical doubts; forthwith I sat down to +analyse it; and my worst enemy, and all people have their enemies, +especially authors--my worst enemy could not have discovered or sought to +discover a tenth part of the faults which I, the author and creator of +the unfortunate production, found or sought to find in it. It has been +said that love makes us blind to the faults of the loved object--common +love does, perhaps--the love of a father to his child, or that of a lover +to his mistress, but not the inordinate love of an author to his works, +at least not the love which one like myself bears to his works: to be +brief, I discovered a thousand faults in my work, which neither public +nor critics discovered. However, I was beginning to get over this +misery, and to forgive my work all its imperfections, when--and I shake +when I mention it--the same kind of idea which perplexed me with regard +to the hawks and the Gypsy pony rushed into my mind, and I forthwith +commenced touching the objects around me, in order to baffle the evil +chance, as you call it; it was neither more nor less than a doubt of the +legality of my claim to the thoughts, expressions, and situations +contained in the book; that is, to all that constituted the book. How +did I get them? How did they come into my mind? Did I invent them? Did +they originate with myself? Are they my own, or are they some other +body's? You see into what difficulty I had got; I won't trouble you by +relating all that I endured at that time, but will merely say that after +eating my own heart, as the Italians say, and touching every object that +came in my way for six months, I at length flung my book, I mean the copy +of it which I possessed, into the fire, and began another. + +"But it was all in vain; I laboured at this other, finished it, and gave +it to the world; and no sooner had I done so, than the same thought was +busy in my brain, poisoning all the pleasure which I should otherwise +have derived from my work. How did I get all the matter which composed +it? Out of my own mind, unquestionably; but how did it come there--was +it the indigenous growth of the mind? And then I would sit down and +ponder over the various scenes and adventures in my book, endeavouring to +ascertain how I came originally to devise them, and by dint of reflecting +I remembered that to a single word in conversation, or some simple +accident in a street, or on a road, I was indebted for some of the +happiest portions of my work; they were but tiny seeds, it is true, which +in the soil of my imagination had subsequently become stately trees, but +I reflected that without them no stately trees would have been produced, +and that, consequently, only a part in the merit of these compositions +which charmed the world--for they did charm the world--was due to myself. +Thus, a dead fly was in my phial, poisoning all the pleasure which I +should otherwise have derived from the result of my brain sweat. 'How +hard!' I would exclaim, looking up to the sky, 'how hard! I am like +Virgil's sheep, bearing fleeces not for themselves.' But, not to tire +you, it fared with my second work as it did with my first; I flung it +aside, and, in order to forget it, I began a third, on which I am now +occupied; but the difficulty of writing it is immense, my extreme desire +to be original sadly cramping the powers of my mind; my fastidiousness +being so great that I invariably reject whatever ideas I do not think to +be legitimately my own. But there is one circumstance to which I cannot +help alluding here, as it serves to show what miseries this love of +originality must needs bring upon an author. I am constantly discovering +that, however original I may wish to be, I am continually producing the +same things which other people say or write. Whenever, after producing +something which gives me perfect satisfaction, and which has cost me +perhaps days and nights of brooding, I chance to take up a book for the +sake of a little relaxation, a book which I never saw before, I am sure +to find in it something more or less resembling some part of what I have +been just composing. You will easily conceive the distress which then +comes over me; 'tis then that I am almost tempted to execrate the chance +which, by discovering my latent powers, induced me to adopt a profession +of such anxiety and misery. + +"For some time past I have given up reading almost entirely, owing to the +dread which I entertain of lighting upon something similar to what I +myself have written. I scarcely ever transgress without having almost +instant reason to repent. To-day, when I took up the newspaper, I saw in +a speech of the Duke of Rhododendron, at an agricultural dinner, the very +same ideas, and almost the same expressions which I had put into the +mouth of an imaginary personage of mine, on a widely different occasion; +you saw how I dashed the newspaper down--you saw how I touched the floor; +the touch was to baffle the evil chance, to prevent the critics detecting +any similarity between the speech of the Duke of Rhododendron at the +agricultural dinner, and the speech of my personage. My sensibility on +the subject of my writings is so great, that sometimes a chance word is +sufficient to unman me, I apply it to them in a superstitious sense; for +example, when you said some time ago that the dark hour was coming on, I +applied it to my works--it appeared to bode them evil fortune; you saw +how I touched, it was to baffle the evil chance; but I do not confine +myself to touching when the fear of the evil chance is upon me. To +baffle it I occasionally perform actions which must appear highly +incomprehensible; I have been known, when riding in company with other +people, to leave the direct road, and make a long circuit by a miry lane +to the place to which we were going. I have also been seen attempting to +ride across a morass, where I had no business whatever, and in which my +horse finally sank up to its saddle-girths, and was only extricated by +the help of a multitude of hands. I have, of course, frequently been +asked the reason of such conduct, to which I have invariably returned no +answer, for I scorn duplicity; whereupon people have looked mysteriously, +and sometimes put their fingers to their foreheads. 'And yet it can't +be,' I once heard an old gentleman say; 'don't we know what he is capable +of?' and the old man was right; I merely did these things to avoid the +evil chance, impelled by the strange feeling within me; and this evil +chance is invariably connected with my writings, the only things at +present which render life valuable to me. If I touch various objects, +and ride into miry places, it is to baffle any mischance befalling me as +an author, to prevent my books getting into disrepute; in nine cases out +of ten to prevent any expressions, thoughts, or situations in any work +which I am writing from resembling the thoughts, expressions, and +situations of other authors, for my great wish, as I told you before, is +to be original. + +"I have now related my history, and have revealed to you the secrets of +my inmost bosom. I should certainly not have spoken so unreservedly as I +have done, had I not discovered in you a kindred spirit. I have long +wished for an opportunity of discoursing on the point which forms the +peculiar feature of my history with a being who could understand me; and +truly it was a lucky chance which brought you to these parts; you who +seem to be acquainted with all things strange and singular, and who are +as well acquainted with the subject of the magic touch as with all that +relates to the star Jupiter, or the mysterious tree at Upsal." + +Such was the story which my host related to me in the library, amidst the +darkness, occasionally broken by flashes of lightning. Both of us +remained silent for some time after it was concluded. + +"It is a singular story," said I, at last, "though I confess that I was +prepared for some part of it. Will you permit me to ask you a question?" + +"Certainly," said my host. + +"Did you never speak in public?" said I. + +"Never." + +"And when you made this speech of yours in the dining-room, commencing +with Mr. Speaker, no one was present?" + +"None in the world, I double-locked the door; {114} what do you mean?" + +"An idea came into my head--dear me, how the rain is pouring!--but, with +respect to your present troubles and anxieties, would it not be wise, +seeing that authorship causes you so much trouble and anxiety, to give it +up altogether?" + +"Were you an author yourself," replied my host, "you would not talk in +this manner; once an author, ever an author--besides, what could I do? +return to my former state of vegetation? no, much as I endure, I do not +wish that; besides, every now and then my reason tells me that these +troubles and anxieties of mine are utterly without foundation; that +whatever I write is the legitimate growth of my own mind, and that it is +the height of folly to afflict myself at any chance resemblance between +my own thoughts and those of other writers, such resemblance being +inevitable from the fact of our common human origin. In short--" + +"I understand you," said I; "notwithstanding your troubles and anxieties +you find life very tolerable; has your originality ever been called in +question?" + +"On the contrary, every one declares that originality constitutes the +most remarkable feature of my writings; the man has some faults, they +say, but want of originality is certainly not one of them. He is quite +different from others--a certain newspaper, it is true, the ---, I think, +once insinuated that in a certain work of mine I had taken a hint or two +from the writings of a couple of authors which it mentioned; it happened, +however, that I had never even read one syllable of the writings of +either, and of one of them had never even heard the name; so much for the +discrimination of the ---. By the bye, what a rascally newspaper that +is!" + +"A very rascally newspaper," said I. + + + + +CHAPTER LXVII + + +Disturbed Slumbers--The Bed-Post--Two Wizards--What can I Do?--Real +Library--The Rev. Mr. Platitude--Toleration to Dissenters--Paradox--Sword +of St. Peter--Enemy to Humbug--High Principles--False Concord--The +Damsel--What Religion?--Farther Conversation--That would never Do!--May +you Prosper. + +During the greater part of that night my slumbers were disturbed by +strange dreams. Amongst other things, I fancied that I was my host; my +head appeared to be teeming with wild thoughts and imaginations, out of +which I was endeavouring to frame a book. And now the book was finished +and given to the world, and the world shouted; and all eyes were turned +upon me, and I shrank from the eyes of the world. And, when I got into +retired places, I touched various objects in order to baffle the evil +chance. In short, during the whole night, I was acting over the story +which I had heard before I went to bed. + +At about eight o'clock I awoke. The storm had long since passed away, +and the morning was bright and shining; my couch was so soft and +luxurious that I felt loth to quit it, so I lay some time, my eyes +wandering about the magnificent room to which fortune had conducted me in +so singular a manner; at last I heaved a sigh; I was thinking of my own +homeless condition, and imagining where I should find myself on the +following morning. Unwilling, however, to indulge in melancholy +thoughts, I sprang out of bed and proceeded to dress myself, and, whilst +dressing, I felt an irresistible inclination to touch the bedpost. + +I finished dressing and left the room, feeling compelled, however, as I +left it, to touch the lintel of the door. Is it possible, thought I, +that from what I have lately heard the long-forgotten influence should +have possessed me again? but I will not give way to it; so I hurried +downstairs, resisting as I went a certain inclination which I +occasionally felt to touch the rail of the banister. I was presently +upon the gravel walk before the house: it was indeed a glorious morning. +I stood for some time observing the golden fish disporting in the waters +of the pond, and then strolled about amongst the noble trees of the park; +the beauty and freshness of the morning--for the air had been +considerably cooled by the late storm--soon enabled me to cast away the +gloomy ideas which had previously taken possession of my mind, and, after +a stroll of about half an hour, I returned towards the house in high +spirits. It is true that once I felt very much inclined to go and touch +the leaves of a flowery shrub which I saw at some distance, and had even +moved two or three paces towards it; but, bethinking myself, I manfully +resisted the temptation. "Begone!" I exclaimed, "ye sorceries, in which +I formerly trusted--begone for ever vagaries which I had almost +forgotten; good luck is not to be obtained, or bad averted, by magic +touches; besides, two wizards in one parish would be too much, in all +conscience." + +I returned to the house, and entered the library; breakfast was laid on +the table, and my friend was standing before the portrait which I have +already said hung above the mantelpiece; so intently was he occupied in +gazing at it that he did not hear me enter, nor was aware of my presence +till I advanced close to him and spoke, when he turned round and shook me +by the hand. + +"What can possibly have induced you to hang up that portrait in your +library? it is a staring likeness, it is true, but it appears to me a +wretched daub." + +"Daub as you call it," said my friend, smiling, "I would not part with it +for the best piece of Raphael. For many a happy thought I am indebted to +that picture--it is my principal source of inspiration; when my +imagination flags, as of course it occasionally does, I stare upon those +features, and forthwith strange ideas of fun and drollery begin to flow +into my mind; these I round, amplify, or combine into goodly creations, +and bring forth as I find an opportunity. It is true that I am +occasionally tormented by the thought that, by doing this, I am +committing plagiarism; though, in that case, all thoughts must be +plagiarisms, all that we think being the result of what we hear, see, or +feel. What can I do? I must derive my thoughts from some source or +other; and, after all, it is better to plagiarise from the features of my +landlord than from the works of Butler and Cervantes. My works, as you +are aware, are of a serio-comic character. My neighbours are of opinion +that I am a great reader, and so I am, but only of those features--my +real library is that picture." + +"But how did you obtain it?" said I. + +"Some years ago a travelling painter came into this neighbourhood, and my +jolly host, at the request of his wife, consented to sit for his +portrait; she highly admired the picture, but she soon died, and then my +fat friend, who is of an affectionate disposition, said he could not bear +the sight of it, as it put him in mind of his poor wife. I purchased it +of him for five pounds--I would not take five thousand for it; when you +called that picture a daub, you did not see all the poetry of it." + +We sat down to breakfast; my entertainer appeared to be in much better +spirits than on the preceding day; I did not observe him touch once; ere +breakfast was over a servant entered--"The Reverend Mr. Platitude, sir," +said he. + +A shade of dissatisfaction came over the countenance of my host. "What +does the silly pestilent fellow mean by coming here?" said he, half to +himself; "let him come in," said he to the servant. + +The servant went out, and in a moment reappeared, introducing the +Reverend Mr. Platitude. The Reverend Mr. Platitude, having what is +vulgarly called a game leg, came shambling into the room; he was about +thirty years of age, and about five feet three inches high; his face was +of the colour of pepper, and nearly as rugged as a nutmeg grater; his +hair was black; with his eyes he squinted, and grinned with his lips, +which were very much apart, disclosing two very irregular rows of teeth; +he was dressed in the true Levitical fashion, in a suit of spotless +black, and a neckerchief of spotless white. + +The Reverend Mr. Platitude advanced winking and grinning to my +entertainer, who received him politely but with evident coldness; nothing +daunted, however, the Reverend Mr. Platitude took a seat by the table, +and, being asked to take a cup of coffee, winked, grinned, and consented. + +In company I am occasionally subject to fits of what is generally called +absence; my mind takes flight and returns to former scenes, or presses +forward into the future. One of these fits of absence came over me at +this time--I looked at the Reverend Mr. Platitude for a moment, heard a +word or two that proceeded from his mouth, and saying to myself, "You are +no man for me," fell into a fit of musing--into the same train of thought +as in the morning, no very pleasant one--I was thinking of the future. + +I continued in my reverie for some time, and probably should have +continued longer, had I not been suddenly aroused by the voice of Mr. +Platitude raised to a very high key. "Yes, my dear sir," said he, "it is +but too true; I have it on good authority--a gone Church--a lost Church--a +ruined Church--a demolished Church is the Church of England. Toleration +to Dissenters! oh, monstrous!" + +"I suppose," said my host, "that the repeal of the Test Acts will be +merely a precursor of the emancipation of the Papists?" + +"Of the Catholics," said the Reverend Mr. Platitude. "Ahem. There was a +time, as I believe you are aware, my dear sir, when I was as much opposed +to the emancipation of the Catholics as it was possible for any one to +be; but I was prejudiced, my dear sir, labouring under a cloud of most +unfortunate prejudice; but I thank my Maker I am so no longer. I have +travelled, as you are aware. It is only by travelling that one can rub +off prejudices; I think you will agree with me there. I am speaking to a +traveller. I left behind all my prejudices in Italy. The Catholics are +at least our fellow-Christians. I thank Heaven that I am no longer an +enemy to Catholic emancipation." + +"And yet you would not tolerate Dissenters?" + +"Dissenters, my dear sir; I hope you would not class such a set as the +Dissenters with Catholics?" + +"Perhaps it would be unjust," said my host, "though to which of the two +parties is another thing; but permit me to ask you a question: Does it +not smack somewhat of paradox to talk of Catholics, whilst you admit +there are Dissenters? If there are Dissenters, how should there be +Catholics?" + +"It is not my fault that there are Dissenters," said the Reverend Mr. +Platitude; "if I had my will I would neither admit there were any, nor +permit any to be." {121} + +"Of course you would admit there were such as long as they existed; but +how would you get rid of them?" + +"I would have the Church exert its authority." + +"What do you mean by exerting its authority?" + +"I would not have the Church bear the sword in vain." + +"What, the sword of St. Peter? You remember what the Founder of the +religion which you profess said about the sword, 'He who striketh with it +. . . ' I think those who have called themselves the Church have had +enough of the sword. Two can play with the sword, Mr. Platitude. The +Church of Rome tried the sword with the Lutherans: how did it fare with +the Church of Rome? The Church of England tried the sword, Mr. +Platitude, with the Puritans: how did it fare with Laud and Charles?" + +"Oh, as for the Church of England," said Mr. Platitude, "I have little to +say. Thank God, I left all my Church of England prejudices in Italy. Had +the Church of England known its true interests, it would long ago have +sought a reconciliation with its illustrious mother. If the Church of +England had not been in some degree a schismatic church, it would not +have fared so ill at the time of which you are speaking; the rest of the +Church would have come to its assistance. The Irish would have helped +it, so would the French, so would the Portuguese. Disunion has always +been the bane of the Church." + +Once more I fell into a reverie. My mind now reverted to the past; +methought I was in a small comfortable room wainscoted with oak; I was +seated on one side of a fireplace, close by a table on which were wine +and fruit; on the other side of the fire sat a man in a plain suit of +brown, with the hair combed back from his somewhat high forehead; he had +a pipe in his mouth, which for some time he smoked gravely and placidly, +without saying a word; at length, after drawing at the pipe for some time +rather vigorously, he removed it from his mouth, and, emitting an +accumulated cloud of smoke, he exclaimed in a slow and measured tone, "As +I was telling you just now, my good chap, I have always been an enemy to +humbug." + +When I awoke from my reverie the Reverend Mr. Platitude was quitting the +apartment. + +"Who is that person?" said I to my entertainer, as the door closed behind +him. + +"Who is he?" said my host; "why, the Rev. Mr. Platitude." + +"Does he reside in this neighbourhood?" + +"He holds a living about three miles from here; his history, as far as I +am acquainted with it, is as follows. His father was a respectable +tanner in the neighbouring town, who, wishing to make his son a +gentleman, sent him to college. Having never been at college myself, I +cannot say whether he took the wisest course; I believe it is more easy +to unmake than to make a gentleman; I have known many gentlemanly youths +go to college, and return anything but what they went. Young Mr. +Platitude did not go to college a gentleman, but neither did he return +one; he went to college an ass, and returned a prig; to his original +folly was superadded a vast quantity of conceit. He told his father that +he had adopted high principles, and was determined to discountenance +everything low and mean; advised him to eschew trade, and to purchase him +a living. The old man retired from business, purchased his son a living, +and shortly after died, leaving him what remained of his fortune. The +first thing the Reverend Mr. Platitude did, after his father's decease, +was to send his mother and sister into Wales to live upon a small +annuity, assigning as a reason that he was averse to anything low, and +that they talked ungrammatically. Wishing to shine in the pulpit, he now +preached high sermons, as he called them, interspersed with scraps of +learning. His sermons did not, however, procure him much popularity; on +the contrary, his church soon became nearly deserted, the greater part of +his flock going over to certain Dissenting preachers, who had shortly +before made their appearance in the neighbourhood. Mr. Platitude was +filled with wrath, and abused Dissenters in most unmeasured terms. Coming +in contact with some of the preachers at a public meeting, he was rash +enough to enter into argument with them. Poor Platitude! he had better +have been quiet, he appeared like a child, a very infant, in their grasp; +he attempted to take shelter under his college learning, but found, to +his dismay, that his opponents knew more Greek and Latin than himself. +These illiterate boors, as he had supposed them, caught him at once in a +false concord, and Mr. Platitude had to slink home overwhelmed with +shame. To avenge himself he applied to the ecclesiastical court, but was +told that the Dissenters could not be put down by the present +ecclesiastical law. He found the Church of England, to use his own +expression, a poor, powerless, restricted Church. He now thought to +improve his consequence by marriage, and made up to a rich and beautiful +young lady in the neighbourhood; the damsel measured him from head to +foot with a pair of very sharp eyes, dropped a curtsey, and refused him. +Mr. Platitude, finding England a very stupid place, determined to travel; +he went to Italy; how he passed his time there he knows best, to other +people it is a matter of little importance. At the end of two years he +returned with a real or assumed contempt for everything English, and +especially for the Church to which he belongs, and out of which he is +supported. He forthwith gave out that he had left behind him all his +Church of England prejudices, and, as a proof thereof, spoke against +sacerdotal wedlock and the toleration of schismatics. In an evil hour +for myself he was introduced to me by a clergyman of my acquaintance, and +from that time I have been pestered, as I was this morning, at least once +a week. I seldom enter into any discussion with him, but fix my eyes on +the portrait over the mantelpiece, and endeavour to conjure up some comic +idea or situation, whilst he goes on talking tomfoolery by the hour about +church authority, schismatics, and the unlawfulness of sacerdotal +wedlock; occasionally he brings with him a strange kind of being, whose +acquaintance he says he made in Italy,--I believe he is some sharking +priest who has come over to proselytise and plunder. This being has some +powers of conversation and some learning, but carries the countenance of +an arch villain; Platitude is evidently his tool." + +"Of what religion are you?" said I to my host. + +"That of the Vicar of Wakefield--good, quiet, Church of England, which +would live and let live, practises charity, and rails at no one; where +the priest is the husband of one wife, takes care of his family and his +parish--such is the religion for me, though I confess I have hitherto +thought too little of religious matters. When, however, I have completed +this plaguy work on which I am engaged, I hope to be able to devote more +attention to them." + +After some farther conversation, the subjects being, if I remember right, +college education, priggism, church authority, tomfoolery, and the like, +I rose and said to my host, "I must now leave you." + +"Whither are you going?" + +"I do not know." + +"Stay here, then--you shall be welcome as many days, months, and years as +you please to stay." + +"Do you think I would hang upon another man? No, not if he were Emperor +of all the Chinas. I will now make my preparations, and then bid you +farewell." + +I retired to my apartment and collected the handful of things which I +carried with me on my travels. + +"I will walk a little way with you," said my friend on my return. + +He walked with me to the park gate; neither of us said anything by the +way. When we had come upon the road, I said, "Farewell now; I will not +permit you to give yourself any farther trouble on my account. Receive +my best thanks for your kindness; before we part, however, I should wish +to ask you a question. Do you think you shall ever grow tired of +authorship?" + +"I have my fears," said my friend, advancing his hand to one of the iron +bars of the gate. + +"Don't touch," said I, "it is a bad habit. I have but one word to add: +should you ever grow tired of authorship follow your first idea of +getting into Parliament; you have words enough at command; perhaps you +want manner and method; but, in that case, you must apply to a teacher, +you must take lessons of a master of elocution." + +"That would never do!" said my host; "I know myself too well to think of +applying for assistance to any one. Were I to become a parliamentary +orator, I should wish to be an original one, even if not above +mediocrity. What pleasure should I take in any speech I might make, +however original as to thought, provided the gestures I employed and the +very modulation of my voice were not my own? Take lessons, indeed! why, +the fellow who taught me, the professor, might be standing in the gallery +whilst I spoke; and, at the best parts of my speech, might say to +himself, 'That gesture is mine--that modulation is mine.' I could not +bear the thought of such a thing." + +"Farewell," said I, "and may you prosper. I have nothing more to say." + +I departed. At the distance of twenty yards I turned round suddenly; my +friend was just withdrawing his finger from the bar of the gate. + +"He has been touching," said I, as I proceeded on my way; "I wonder what +was the evil chance he wished to baffle." + + + + +CHAPTER LXVIII + + +Elastic Step--Disconsolate Party--Not the Season--Mend your Draught--Good +Ale--Crotchet--Hammer and Tongs--Schoolmaster--True Eden Life--Flaming +Tinman--Twice my Size--Hard at Work--My Poor Wife--Grey Moll--A +Bible--Half and Half--What to Do--Half Inclined--In No Time--On One +Condition--Don't Stare--Like the Wind. + +After walking some time, I found myself on the great road, at the same +spot where I had turned aside the day before with my new-made +acquaintance, in the direction of his house. I now continued my journey +as before, towards the north. The weather, though beautiful, was much +cooler than it had been for some time past; I walked at a great rate, +with a springing and elastic step. In about two hours I came to where a +kind of cottage stood a little way back from the road, with a huge oak +before it, under the shade of which stood a little pony and a cart, which +seemed to contain various articles. I was going past--when I saw +scrawled over the door of the cottage, "Good beer sold here;" upon which, +feeling myself all of a sudden very thirsty, I determined to go in and +taste the beverage. + +I entered a well-sanded kitchen, and seated myself on a bench, on one +side of a long white table; the other side, which was nearest to the +wall, was occupied by a party, or rather family, consisting of a grimy- +looking man, somewhat under the middle size, dressed in faded velveteens, +and wearing a leather apron--a rather pretty-looking woman, but +sun-burnt, and meanly dressed, and two ragged children, a boy and girl, +about four or five years old. The man sat with his eyes fixed upon the +table, supporting his chin with both his hands; the woman, who was next +him, sat quite still, save that occasionally she turned a glance upon her +husband with eyes that appeared to have been lately crying. The children +had none of the vivacity so general at their age. A more disconsolate +family I had never seen; a mug, which, when filled, might contain half a +pint, stood empty before them; a very disconsolate party indeed. + +"House!" said I; "House!" and then as nobody appeared, I cried again as +loud as I could, "House! do you hear me, House!" + +"What's your pleasure, young man?" said an elderly woman, who now made +her appearance from a side apartment. + +"To taste your ale," said I. + +"How much?" said the woman, stretching out her hand towards the empty mug +upon the table. + +"The largest measure-full in your house," said I, putting back her hand +gently. "This is not the season for half-pint mugs." + +"As you will, young man," said the landlady; and presently brought in an +earthen pitcher which might contain about three pints, and which foamed +and frothed withal. + +"Will this pay for it?" said I, putting down sixpence. + +"I have to return you a penny," said the landlady, putting her hand into +her pocket. + +"I want no change," said I, flourishing my hand with an air. + +"As you please, young gentleman," said the landlady, and then making a +kind of curtsey, she again retired to the side apartment. + +"Here is your health, sir," said I to the grimy-looking man, as I raised +the pitcher to my lips. + +The tinker, for such I supposed him to be, without altering his posture, +raised his eyes, looked at me for a moment, gave a slight nod, and then +once more fixed his eyes upon the table. I took a draught of the ale, +which I found excellent. "Won't you drink?" said I, holding the pitcher +to the tinker. + +The man again lifted up his eyes, looked at me, and then at the pitcher, +and then at me again. I thought at one time that he was about to shake +his head in sign of refusal, but no, he looked once more at the pitcher, +and the temptation was too strong. Slowly removing his head from his +arms, he took the pitcher, sighed, nodded, and drank a tolerable +quantity, and then set the pitcher down before me upon the table. + +"You had better mend your draught," said I to the tinker, "it is a sad +heart that never rejoices." + +"That's true," said the tinker, and again raising the pitcher to his +lips, he mended his draught as I had bidden him, drinking a larger +quantity than before. + +"Pass it to your wife," said I. + +The poor woman took the pitcher from the man's hand; before, however, +raising it to her lips, she looked at the children. True mother's heart, +thought I to myself, and taking the half-pint mug, I made her fill it, +and then held it to the children, causing each to take a draught. The +woman wiped her eyes with the corner of her gown, before she raised the +pitcher and drank to my health. + +In about five minutes none of the family looked half so disconsolate as +before, and the tinker and I were in deep discourse. + +Oh, genial and gladdening is the power of good ale, the true and proper +drink of Englishmen. He is not deserving of the name of Englishman who +speaketh against ale, that is good ale, like that which has just made +merry the hearts of this poor family; and yet there are beings, calling +themselves Englishmen, who say that it is a sin to drink a cup of ale, +and who on coming to this passage will be tempted to fling down the book +and exclaim, "The man is evidently a bad man, for behold, by his own +confession, he is not only fond of ale himself, but is in the habit of +tempting other people with it." Alas! alas! what a number of silly +individuals there are in this world; I wonder what they would have had me +do in this instance--given the afflicted family a cup of cold water? go +to! They could have found water in the road, for there was a pellucid +spring only a few yards distant from the house, as they were well +aware--but they wanted not water. What should I have given them? meat +and bread? go to! They were not hungry; there was stifled sobbing in +their bosoms, and the first mouthful of strong meat would have choked +them. What should I have given them? Money! what right had I to insult +them by offering them money? Advice! words, words, words; friends, there +is a time for everything; there is a time for a cup of cold water; there +is a time for strong meat and bread; there is a time for advice, and +there is a time for ale; and I have generally found that the time for +advice is after a cup of ale. I do not say many cups; the tongue then +speaketh more smoothly, and the ear listeneth more benignantly; but why +do I attempt to reason with you? do I not know you for conceited +creatures, with one idea--and that a foolish one;--a crotchet, for the +sake of which ye would sacrifice anything, religion if required--country? +There, fling down my book, I do not wish ye to walk any farther in my +company, unless you cast your nonsense away, which ye will never do, for +it is the breath of your nostrils; fling down my book, it was not written +to support a crotchet, for know one thing, my good people, I have +invariably been an enemy to humbug. + +"Well," said the tinker, after we had discoursed some time, "I little +thought, when I first saw you, that you were of my own trade." + +_Myself_. Nor am I, at least not exactly. There is not much difference, +'tis true, between a tinker and a smith. + +_Tinker_. You are a whitesmith then? + +_Myself_. Not I, I'd scorn to be anything so mean; no, friend, black's +the colour; I am a brother of the horse-shoe. Success to the hammer and +tongs. + +_Tinker_. Well, I shouldn't have thought you had been a blacksmith by +your hands. + +_Myself_. I have seen them, however, as black as yours. The truth is, I +have not worked for many a day. + +_Tinker_. Where did you serve first? + +_Myself_. In Ireland. + +_Tinker_. That's a good way off, isn't it? + +_Myself_. Not very far; over those mountains to the left, and the run of +salt water that lies behind them, there's Ireland. + +_Tinker_. It's a fine thing to be a scholar. + +_Myself_. Not half so fine as to be a tinker. + +_Tinker_. How you talk! + +_Myself_. Nothing but the truth; what can be better than to be one's own +master? Now a tinker is his own master, a scholar is not. Let us +suppose the best of scholars, a schoolmaster for example, for I suppose +you will admit that no one can be higher in scholarship than a +schoolmaster; do you call his a pleasant life? I don't; we should call +him a school-slave, rather than a schoolmaster. Only conceive him in +blessed weather like this, in his close school, teaching children to +write in copy-books, "Evil communication corrupts good manners," or "You +cannot touch pitch without defilement," or to spell out of Abedariums, or +to read out of Jack Smith, or Sandford and Merton. Only conceive him, I +say, drudging in such guise from morning till night, without any rational +enjoyment but to beat the children. Would you compare such a dog's life +as that with your own--the happiest under heaven--true Eden life, as the +Germans would say,--pitching your tent under the pleasant hedge-rows, +listening to the song of the feathered tribes, collecting all the leaky +kettles in the neighbourhood, soldering and joining, earning your honest +bread by the wholesome sweat of your brow--making ten holes--hey, what's +this? what's the man crying for? + +Suddenly the tinker had covered his face with his hands, and begun to sob +and moan like a man in the deepest distress; the breast of his wife was +heaved with emotion; even the children were agitated, the youngest began +to roar. + +_Myself_. What's the matter with you; what are you all crying about? + +_Tinker_ (uncovering his face). Lord, why to hear you talk; isn't that +enough to make anybody cry--even the poor babes? Yes, you said right, +'tis life in the Garden of Eden--the tinker's; I see so now that I'm +about to give it up. + +_Myself_. Give it up! you must not think of such a thing. + +_Tinker_. No, I can't bear to think of it, and yet I must; what's to be +done? How hard to be frightened to death, to be driven off the roads! + +_Myself_. Who has driven you off the roads? + +_Tinker_. Who! the Flaming Tinman. + +_Myself_. Who is he? + +_Tinker_. The biggest rogue in England, and the cruellest, or he +wouldn't have served me as he has done--I'll tell you all about it. I +was born upon the roads, and so was my father before me, and my mother +too; and I worked with them as long as they lived, as a dutiful child, +for I have nothing to reproach myself with on their account; and when my +father died I took up the business, and went his beat, and supported my +mother for the little time she lived; and when she died I married this +young woman, who was not born upon the roads, but was a small tradesman's +daughter, at Gloster. She had a kindness for me, and, notwithstanding +her friends were against the match, she married the poor tinker, and came +to live with him upon the roads. Well, young man, for six or seven years +I was the happiest fellow breathing, living just the life you described +just now--respected by everybody in this beat; when in an evil hour comes +this Black Jack, this Flaming Tinman, into these parts, driven as they +say out of Yorkshire--for no good you may be sure. Now there is no beat +will support two tinkers, as you doubtless know; mine was a good one, but +it would not support the flying tinker and myself, though if it would +have supported twenty it would have been all the same to the flying +villain, who'll brook no one but himself; so he presently finds me out, +and offers to fight me for the beat. Now, being bred upon the roads, I +can fight a little, that is with anything like my match, but I was not +going to fight him, who happens to be twice my size, and so I told him; +whereupon he knocks me down, and would have done me farther mischief had +not some men been nigh and prevented him; so he threatened to cut my +throat, and went his way. Well, I did not like such usage at all, and +was woundily frightened, and tried to keep as much out of his way as +possible, going anywhere but where I thought I was likely to meet him; +and sure enough for several months I contrived to keep out of his way. At +last somebody told me that he was gone back to Yorkshire, whereupon I was +glad at heart, and ventured to show myself, going here and there as I did +before. Well, young man, it was yesterday that I and mine set ourselves +down in a lane, about five miles from here, and lighted our fire, and had +our dinner, and after dinner I sat down to mend three kettles and a +frying pan which the people in the neighbourhood had given me to +mend--for, as I told you before, I have a good connection, owing to my +honesty. Well, as I sat there hard at work, happy as the day's long, and +thinking of anything but what was to happen, who should come up but this +Black Jack, this king of the tinkers, rattling along in his cart, with +his wife, that they call Grey Moll, by his side--for the villain has got +a wife, and a maid-servant too; the last I never saw, but they that has, +says that she is as big as a house, and young, and well to look at, which +can't be all said of Moll, who, though she's big enough in all +conscience, is neither young nor handsome. Well, no sooner does he see +me and mine, than, giving the reins to Grey Moll, he springs out of his +cart, and comes straight at me; not a word did he say, but on he comes +straight at me like a wild bull. I am a quiet man, young fellow, but I +saw now that quietness would be of no use, so I sprang up upon my legs, +and being bred upon the roads, and able to fight a little, I squared as +he came running in upon me, and had a round or two with him. Lord bless +you, young man, it was like a fly fighting with an elephant--one of those +big beasts the show-folks carry about. I had not a chance with the +fellow, he knocked me here, he knocked me there, knocked me into the +hedge, and knocked me out again. I was at my last shifts, and my poor +wife saw it. Now my poor wife, though she is as gentle as a pigeon, has +yet a spirit of her own, and though she wasn't bred upon the roads, can +scratch a little; so when she saw me at my last shifts, she flew at the +villain--she couldn't bear to see her partner murdered--and scratched the +villain's face. Lord bless you, young man, she had better have been +quiet: Grey Moll no sooner saw what she was about, than springing out of +the cart, where she had sat all along perfectly quiet, save a little +whooping and screeching to encourage her blade:--Grey Moll, I say (my +flesh creeps when I think of it--for I am a kind husband, and love my +poor wife)-- + +_Myself_. Take another draught of the ale; you look frightened, and it +will do you good. Stout liquor makes stout heart, as the man says in the +play. + +_Tinker_. That's true, young man; here's to you--where was I? Grey Moll +no sooner saw what my wife was about, than springing out of the cart, she +flew at my poor wife, clawed off her bonnet in a moment, and seized hold +of her hair. Lord bless you, young man, my poor wife, in the hands of +Grey Moll, was nothing better than a pigeon in the claws of a buzzard +hawk, or I in the hands of the Flaming Tinman, which when I saw, my heart +was fit to burst, and I determined to give up everything--everything to +save my poor wife out of Grey Moll's claws. "Hold!" I shouted. "Hold, +both of you--Jack, Moll. Hold, both of you, for God's sake, and I'll do +what you will: give up trade, and business, connection, bread, and +everything, never more travel the roads, and go down on my knees to you +in the bargain." Well, this had some effect; Moll let go my wife, and +the Blazing Tinman stopped for a moment; it was only for a moment, +however, that he left off--all of a sudden he hit me a blow which sent me +against a tree; and what did the villain then? why the flying villain +seized me by the throat, and almost throttled me, roaring--what do you +think, young man, that the flaming villain roared out? + +_Myself_. I really don't know--something horrible, I suppose. + +_Tinker_. Horrible, indeed; you may well say horrible, young man; +neither more nor less than the Bible--"A Bible, a Bible!" roared the +Blazing Tinman; and he pressed my throat so hard against the tree that my +senses began to dwaul away--a Bible, a Bible, still ringing in my ears. +Now, young man, my poor wife is a Christian woman, and, though she +travels the roads, carries a Bible with her at the bottom of her sack, +with which sometimes she teaches the children to read--it was the only +thing she brought with her from the place of her kith and kin, save her +own body and the clothes on her back; so my poor wife, half distracted, +runs to her sack, pulls out the Bible, and puts it into the hand of the +Blazing Tinman, who then thrusts the end of it into my mouth with such +fury that it made my lips bleed, and broke short one of my teeth which +happened to be decayed. "Swear," said he, "swear, you mumping villain, +take your Bible oath that you will quit and give up the beat altogether, +or I'll"--and then the hard hearted villain made me swear by the Bible, +and my own damnation, half-throttled as I was, to--to--I can't go on-- + +_Myself_. Take another draught--stout liquor-- + +_Tinker_. I can't, young man, my heart's too full, and what's more, the +pitcher is empty. + +_Myself_. And so he swore you, I suppose, on the Bible, to quit the +roads? + +_Tinker_. You are right, he did so, the Gypsy villain. + +_Myself_. Gypsy! Is he a Gypsy? + +_Tinker_. Not exactly; what they call a half and half. His father was a +Gypsy, and his mother, like mine, one who walked the roads. + +_Myself_. Is he of the Smiths--the Petulengres? + +_Tinker_. I say, young man, you know a thing or two; one would think, to +hear you talk, you had been bred upon the roads. I thought none but +those bred upon the roads knew anything of that name--Petulengres! No, +not he, he fights the Petulengres whenever he meets them; he likes nobody +but himself, and wants to be king of the roads. I believe he is a Boss, +{139} or a --- at any rate he's a bad one, as I know to my cost. + +_Myself_. And what are you going to do? + +_Tinker_. Do! you may well ask that; I don't know what to do. My poor +wife and I have been talking of that all the morning, over that half-pint +mug of beer; we can't determine on what's to be done. All we know is, +that we must quit the roads. The villain swore that the next time he saw +us on the roads he'd cut all our throats, and seize our horse and bit of +a cart that are now standing out there under the tree. + +_Myself_. And what do you mean to do with your horse and cart? + +_Tinker_. Another question! What shall we do with our cart and pony? +they are of no use to us now. Stay on the roads I will not, both for my +oath's sake and my own. If we had a trifle of money, we were thinking of +going to Bristol, where I might get up a little business, but we have +none; our last three farthings we spent about the mug of beer. + +_Myself_. But why don't you sell your horse and cart? + +_Tinker_. Sell them, and who would buy them, unless some one who wished +to set up in my line; but there's no beat, and what's the use of the +horse and cart and the few tools without the beat? + +_Myself_. I'm half inclined to buy your cart and pony, and your beat +too. + +_Tinker_. You! How came you to think of such a thing? + +_Myself_. Why, like yourself, I hardly know what to do. I want a home +and work. As for a home, I suppose I can contrive to make a home out of +your tent and cart; and as for work, I must learn to be a tinker, it +would not be hard for one of my trade to learn to tinker; what better can +I do? Would you have me go to Chester and work there now? I don't like +the thoughts of it. If I go to Chester and work there, I can't be my own +man; I must work under a master, and perhaps he and I should quarrel, and +when I quarrel I am apt to hit folks, and those that hit folks are +sometimes sent to prison; I don't like the thought either of going to +Chester or to Chester prison. What do you think I could earn at Chester? + +_Tinker_. A matter of eleven shillings a week, if anybody would employ +you, which I don't think they would with those hands of yours. But +whether they would or not, if you are of a quarrelsome nature, you must +not go to Chester; you would be in the castle in no time. I don't know +how to advise you. As for selling you my stock, I'd see you farther +first, for your own sake. + +_Myself_. Why? + +_Tinker_. Why! you would get your head knocked off. Suppose you were to +meet him? + +_Myself_. Pooh, don't be afraid on my account; if I were to meet him I +could easily manage him one way or other. I know all kinds of strange +words and names, and, as I told you before, I sometimes hit people when +they put me out. + +Here the tinker's wife, who for some minutes past had been listening +attentively to our discourse, interposed, saying, in a low soft tone: "I +really don't see, John, why you shouldn't sell the young man the things, +seeing that he wishes for them, and is so confident; you have told him +plainly how matters stand, and if anything ill should befall him, people +couldn't lay the blame on you; but I don't think any ill will befall him, +and who knows but God has sent him to our assistance in time of need." + +"I'll hear of no such thing," said the tinker; "I have drunk at the young +man's expense, and though he says he's quarrelsome, I would not wish to +sit in pleasanter company. A pretty fellow I should be, now, if I were +to let him follow his own will. If he once sets up on my beat, he's a +lost man, his ribs will be stove in, and his head knocked off his +shoulders. There, you are crying, but you shan't have your will though; +I won't be the young man's destruction . . . If, indeed, I thought he +could manage the tinker--but he never can; he says he can hit, but it's +no use hitting the tinker;--crying still! you are enough to drive one +mad. I say, young man, I believe you understand a thing or two; just now +you were talking of knowing hard words and names--I don't wish to send +you to your mischief--you say you know hard words and names; let us see. +Only on one condition I'll sell you the pony and things; as for the beat +it's gone, isn't mine--sworn away by my own mouth. Tell me what's my +name; if you can't, may I--" + +_Myself_. Don't swear, it's a bad habit, neither pleasant nor +profitable. Your name is Slingsby--Jack Slingsby. There, don't stare, +there's nothing in my telling you your name: I've been in these parts +before, at least not very far from here. Ten years ago, when I was +little more than a child, I was about twenty miles from here in a post +chaise, at the door of an inn, {142} and as I looked from the window of +the chaise, I saw you standing by a gutter, with a big tin ladle in your +hand, and somebody called you Jack Slingsby. I never forget anything I +hear or see; I can't, I wish I could. So there's nothing strange in my +knowing your name; indeed, there's nothing strange in anything, provided +you examine it to the bottom. Now what am I to give you for the things? + +I paid Slingsby five pounds ten shillings for his stock in trade, cart, +and pony--purchased sundry provisions of the landlady, also a waggoner's +frock, which had belonged to a certain son of hers, deceased, gave my +little animal a feed of corn, and prepared to depart. + +"God bless you, young man," said Slingsby, shaking me by the hand, "you +are the best friend I've had for many a day: I have but one thing to tell +you, Don't cross that fellow's path if you can help it; and stay--should +the pony refuse to go, just touch him so, and he'll fly like the wind." + + + + +CHAPTER LXIX + + +Effects of Corn--One Night Longer--The Hoofs--A Stumble--Are You +Hurt?--What a Difference!--Drowsy--Maze of Bushes--Housekeeping--Sticks +and Furze--The Drift-way--Account of Stock--Anvil and Bellows--Twenty +Years. + +It was two or three hours past noon when I took my departure from the +place of the last adventure, walking by the side of my little cart; the +pony, invigorated by the corn, to which he was probably not much +accustomed, proceeded right gallantly; so far from having to hasten him +forward by the particular application which the tinker had pointed out to +me, I had rather to repress his eagerness, being, though an excellent +pedestrian, not unfrequently left behind. The country through which I +passed was beautiful and interesting, but solitary: few habitations +appeared. As it was quite a matter of indifference to me in what +direction I went, the whole world being before me, I allowed the pony to +decide upon the matter; it was not long before he left the high road, +being probably no friend to public places. I followed him I knew not +whither, but, from subsequent observation, have reason to suppose that +our course was in a north-west direction. At length night came upon us, +and a cold wind sprang up, which was succeeded by a drizzling rain. + +I had originally intended to pass the night in the cart, or to pitch my +little tent on some convenient spot by the road's side; but, owing to the +alteration in the weather, I thought that it would be advisable to take +up my quarters in any hedge alehouse at which I might arrive. To tell +the truth, I was not very sorry to have an excuse to pass the night once +more beneath a roof. I had determined to live quite independent, but I +had never before passed a night by myself abroad, and felt a little +apprehensive at the idea; I hoped, however, on the morrow, to be a little +more prepared for the step, so I determined for one night--only for one +night longer--to sleep like a Christian; but human determinations are not +always put into effect, such a thing as opportunity is frequently +wanting, such was the case here. I went on for a considerable time, in +expectation of coming to some rustic hostelry, but nothing of the kind +presented itself to my eyes; the country in which I now was seemed almost +uninhabited, not a house of any kind was to be seen--at least I saw +none--though it is true houses might be near without my seeing them, +owing to the darkness of the night, for neither moon nor star was abroad. +I heard, occasionally, the bark of dogs; but the sound appeared to come +from an immense distance. The rain still fell, and the ground beneath my +feet was wet and miry; in short, it was a night in which even a tramper +by profession would feel more comfortable in being housed than abroad. I +followed in the rear of the cart, the pony still proceeding at a sturdy +pace, till methought I heard other hoofs than those of my own nag; I +listened for a moment, and distinctly heard the sound of hoofs +approaching at a great rate, and evidently from the quarter towards which +I and my little caravan were moving. We were in a dark lane--so dark +that it was impossible for me to see my own hand. Apprehensive that some +accident might occur, I ran forward, and, seizing the pony by the bridle, +drew him as near as I could to the hedge. On came the hoofs--trot, trot, +trot; and evidently more than those of one horse; their speed as they +advanced appeared to slacken--it was only, however, for a moment. I +heard a voice cry, "Push on,--this is a desperate robbing place,--never +mind the dark;" and the hoofs came on quicker than before. "Stop!" said +I, at the top of my voice; "stop! or . . . " Before I could finish what +I was about to say there was a stumble, a heavy fall, a cry, and a groan, +and putting out my foot I felt what I conjectured to be the head of a +horse stretched upon the road. "Lord have mercy upon us! what's the +matter?" exclaimed a voice. "Spare my life," cried another voice, +apparently from the ground; "only spare my life, and take all I have!" +"Where are you, Master Wise?" cried the other voice. "Help! here, Master +Bat," cried the voice from the ground, "help me up or I shall be +murdered." "Why, what's the matter?" said Bat. "Some one has knocked me +down, and is robbing me," said the voice from the ground. "Help! +murder!" cried Bat; and, regardless of the entreaties of the man on the +ground that he would stay and help him up, he urged his horse forward and +galloped away as fast as he could. I remained for some time quiet, +listening to various groans and exclamations uttered by the person on the +ground; at length I said, "Holloa! are you hurt?" "Spare my life, and +take all I have!" said the voice from the ground. "Have they not done +robbing you yet?" said I; "when they have finished let me know, and I +will come and help you." "Who is that?" said the voice; "pray come and +help me, and do me no mischief." "You were saying that some one was +robbing you," said I; "don't think I shall come till he is gone away." +"Then you ben't he?" said the voice. "Ar'n't you robbed?" said I. "Can't +say I be," said the voice; "not yet at any rate; but who are you? I +don't know you." "A traveller whom you and your partner were going to +run over in this dark lane; you almost frightened me out of my senses." +"Frightened!" said the voice, in a louder tone; "frightened! oh!" and +thereupon I heard somebody getting upon his legs. This accomplished, the +individual proceeded to attend to his horse, and with a little difficulty +raised him upon his legs also. "Ar'n't you hurt?" said I. "Hurt!" said +the voice; "not I; don't think it, whatever the horse may be. I tell you +what, my fellow, I thought you were a robber; and now I find you are not, +I have a good mind--" "To do what?" "To serve you out; ar'n't you +ashamed--?" "At what?" said I; "not to have robbed you? Shall I set +about it now?" "Ha, ha!" said the man, dropping the bullying tone which +he had assumed; "you are joking--robbing! who talks of robbing? I wonder +how my horse's knees are; not much hurt, I think--only mired." The man, +whoever he was, then got upon his horse; and, after moving him about a +little, said, "Good night, friend; where are you?" "Here I am," said I, +"just behind you." "You are, are you? Take that." I know not what he +did, but probably pricking his horse with the spur the animal kicked out +violently; one of his heels struck me on the shoulder, but luckily missed +my face; I fell back with the violence of the blow, whilst the fellow +scampered off at a great rate. Stopping at some distance, he loaded me +with abuse, and then, continuing his way at a rapid trot, I heard no more +of him. + +"What a difference!" said I, getting up; "last night I was feted in the +hall of a rich genius, and to-night I am knocked down and mired in a dark +lane by the heel of Master Wise's horse--I wonder who gave him that name? +And yet he was wise enough to wreak his revenge upon me, and I was not +wise enough to keep out of his way. Well, I am not much hurt, so it is +of little consequence." + +I now bethought me that, as I had a carriage of my own, I might as well +make use of it; I therefore got into the cart, and, taking the reins in +my hand, gave an encouraging cry to the pony, whereupon the sturdy little +animal started again at as brisk a pace as if he had not already come +many a long mile. I lay half reclining in the cart, holding the reins +lazily, and allowing the animal to go just where he pleased, often +wondering where he would conduct me. At length I felt drowsy, and my +head sank upon my breast; I soon aroused myself, but it was only to doze +again; this occurred several times. Opening my eyes after a doze +somewhat longer than the others, I found that the drizzling rain had +ceased, a corner of the moon was apparent in the heavens, casting a faint +light; I looked around for a moment or two, but my eyes and brain were +heavy with slumber, and I could scarcely distinguish where we were. I +had a kind of dim consciousness that we were traversing an unenclosed +country--perhaps a heath; I thought, however, that I saw certain large +black objects looming in the distance, which I had a confused idea might +be woods or plantations; the pony still moved at his usual pace. I did +not find the jolting of the cart at all disagreeable, on the contrary, it +had quite a somniferous effect upon me. Again my eyes closed; I opened +them once more, but with less perception in them than before, looked +forward, and, muttering something about woodlands, I placed myself in an +easier posture than I had hitherto done, and fairly fell asleep. + +How long I continued in that state I am unable to say, but I believe for +a considerable time; I was suddenly awakened by the ceasing of the +jolting to which I had become accustomed, and of which I was perfectly +sensible in my sleep. I started up and looked around me, the moon was +still shining, and the face of the heaven was studded with stars; I found +myself amidst a maze of bushes of various kinds, but principally hazel +and holly, through which was a path or drift-way with grass growing on +either side, upon which the pony was already diligently browsing. I +conjectured that this place had been one of the haunts of his former +master, and, on dismounting and looking about, was strengthened in that +opinion by finding a spot under an ash tree which, from its burnt and +blackened appearance, seemed to have been frequently used as a fireplace. +I will take up my quarters here, thought I; it is an excellent spot for +me to commence my new profession in; I was quite right to trust myself to +the guidance of the pony. Unharnessing the animal without delay, I +permitted him to browse at free will on the grass, convinced that he +would not wander far from a place to which he was so much attached; I +then pitched the little tent close beside the ash tree to which I have +alluded, and conveyed two or three articles into it, and instantly felt +that I had commenced housekeeping for the first time in my life. +Housekeeping, however, without a fire is a very sorry affair, something +like the housekeeping of children in their toy houses; of this I was the +more sensible from feeling very cold and shivering, owing to my late +exposure to the rain, and sleeping in the night air. Collecting, +therefore, all the dry sticks and furze I could find, I placed them upon +the fireplace, adding certain chips and a billet which I found in the +cart, it having apparently been the habit of Slingsby to carry with him a +small store of fuel. Having then struck a spark in a tinder-box and +lighted a match, I set fire to the combustible heap, and was not slow in +raising a cheerful blaze; I then drew my cart near the fire, and, seating +myself on one of the shafts, hung over the warmth with feelings of +intense pleasure and satisfaction. Having continued in this posture for +a considerable time, I turned my eyes to the heaven in the direction of a +particular star; I, however, could not find the star, nor indeed many of +the starry train, the greater number having fled, from which +circumstance, and from the appearance of the sky, I concluded that +morning was nigh. About this time I again began to feel drowsy; I +therefore arose, and having prepared for myself a kind of couch in the +tent, I flung myself upon it and went to sleep. + +I will not say that I was awakened in the morning by the carolling of +birds, as I perhaps might if I were writing a novel; I awoke because, to +use vulgar language, I had slept my sleep out, not because the birds were +carolling around me in numbers, as they had probably been for hours +without my hearing them. I got up and left my tent; the morning was yet +more bright than that of the preceding day. Impelled by curiosity, I +walked about endeavouring to ascertain to what place chance, or rather +the pony, had brought me; following the drift-way for some time, amidst +bushes and stunted trees, I came to a grove of dark pines, through which +it appeared to lead; I tracked it a few hundred yards, but seeing nothing +but trees, and the way being wet and sloughy, owing to the recent rain, I +returned on my steps, and, pursuing the path in another direction, came +to a sandy road leading over a common, doubtless the one I had traversed +the preceding night. My curiosity satisfied, I returned to my little +encampment, and on the way beheld a small footpath on the left winding +through the bushes, which had before escaped my observation. Having +reached my tent and cart, I breakfasted on some of the provisions which I +had procured the day before, and then proceeded to take a regular account +of the stock formerly possessed by Slingsby the tinker, but now become my +own by right of lawful purchase. + +Besides the pony, the cart, and the tent, I found I was possessed of a +mattress stuffed with straw on which to lie, and a blanket to cover me, +the last quite clean and nearly new; then there was a frying pan and a +kettle, the first for cooking any food which required cooking, and the +second for heating any water which I might wish to heat. I likewise +found an earthen teapot and two or three cups; of the first I should +rather say I found the remains, it being broken in three parts, no doubt +since it came into my possession, which would have precluded the +possibility of my asking anybody to tea for the present, should anybody +visit me, even supposing I had tea and sugar, which was not the case. I +then overhauled what might more strictly be called the stock in trade; +this consisted of various tools, an iron ladle, a chafing pan and small +bellows, sundry pans and kettles, the latter being of tin, with the +exception of one which was of copper, all in a state of considerable +dilapidation--if I may use the term; of these first Slingsby had spoken +in particular, advising me to mend them as soon as possible, and to +endeavour to sell them, in order that I might have the satisfaction of +receiving some return upon the outlay which I had made. There was +likewise a small quantity of block tin, sheet tin, and solder. "This +Slingsby," said I, "is certainly a very honest man, he has sold me more +than my money's worth; I believe, however, there is something more in the +cart." Thereupon I rummaged the farther end of the cart, and, amidst a +quantity of straw, I found a small anvil and bellows of that kind which +are used in forges, and two hammers such as smiths use, one great, and +the other small. + +The sight of these last articles caused me no little surprise, as no word +which had escaped from the mouth of Slingsby had given me reason to +suppose that he had ever followed the occupation of a smith; yet, if he +had not, how did he come by them? I sat down upon the shaft, and +pondered the question deliberately in my mind; at length I concluded that +he had come by them by one of those numerous casualties which occur upon +the roads, of which I, being a young hand upon the roads, must have a +very imperfect conception; honestly, of course--for I scouted the idea +that Slingsby would have stolen this blacksmith's gear--for I had the +highest opinion of his honesty, which opinion I still retain at the +present day, which is upwards of twenty years from the time of which I am +speaking, during the whole of which period I have neither seen the poor +fellow, nor received any intelligence of him. + + + + +CHAPTER LXX + + +New Profession--Beautiful Night--Jupiter--Sharp and Shrill--The Rommany +Chi--All Alone--Three-and-Sixpence--What is Rommany?--Be Civil--Parraco +Tute--Slight Start--She will be Grateful--The Rustling. + +I passed the greater part of the day in endeavouring to teach myself the +mysteries of my new profession. I cannot say that I was very successful, +but the time passed agreeably, and was therefore not ill spent. Towards +evening I flung my work aside, took some refreshment, and afterwards a +walk. + +This time I turned up the small footpath, of which I have already spoken. +It led in a zigzag manner through thickets of hazel, elder, and sweet +briar; after following its windings for somewhat better than a furlong, I +heard a gentle sound of water, and presently came to a small rill, which +ran directly across the path. I was rejoiced at the sight, for I had +already experienced the want of water, which I yet knew must be nigh at +hand, as I was in a place to all appearance occasionally frequented by +wandering people, who I was aware never take up their quarters in places +where water is difficult to be obtained. Forthwith I stretched myself on +the ground, and took a long and delicious draught of the crystal stream, +and then, seating myself in a bush, I continued for some time gazing on +the water as it purled tinkling away in its channel through an opening in +the hazels, and should have probably continued much longer had not the +thought that I had left my property unprotected compelled me to rise and +return to my encampment. + +Night came on, and a beautiful night it was; up rose the moon, and +innumerable stars decked the firmament of heaven. I sat on the shaft, my +eyes turned upwards. I had found it: there it was twinkling millions of +miles above me, mightiest star of the system to which we belong: of all +stars, the one which has most interest for me--the star Jupiter. + +Why have I always taken an interest in thee, O Jupiter? I know nothing +about thee, save what every child knows, that thou art a big star, whose +only light is derived from moons. And is not that knowledge enough to +make me feel an interest in thee? Ay, truly, I never look at thee +without wondering what is going on in thee; what is life in Jupiter? That +there is life in Jupiter who can doubt? There is life in our own little +star, therefore there must be life in Jupiter, which is not a little +star. But how different must life be in Jupiter from what it is in our +own little star! Life here is life beneath the dear sun--life in Jupiter +is life beneath moons--four moons--no single moon is able to illumine +that vast bulk. All know what life is in our own little star; it is +anything but a routine of happiness here, where the dear sun rises to us +every day: then how sad and moping must life be in mighty Jupiter, on +which no sun ever shines, and which is never lighted save by pale moon- +beams! The thought that there is more sadness and melancholy in Jupiter +than in this world of ours, where, alas! there is but too much, has +always made me take a melancholy interest in that huge distant star. + +Two or three days passed by in much the same manner as the first. During +the morning I worked upon my kettles, and employed the remaining part of +the day as I best could. The whole of this time I only saw two +individuals, rustics, who passed by my encampment without vouchsafing me +a glance; they probably considered themselves my superiors, as perhaps +they were. + +One very brilliant morning, as I sat at work in very good spirits, for by +this time I had actually mended in a very creditable way, as I imagined, +two kettles and a frying pan, I heard a voice which seemed to proceed +from the path leading to the rivulet; at first it sounded from a +considerable distance, but drew nearer by degrees. I soon remarked that +the tones were exceedingly sharp and shrill, with yet something of +childhood in them. Once or twice I distinguished certain words in the +song which the voice was singing; the words were--but no, I thought again +I was probably mistaken--and then the voice ceased for a time; presently +I heard it again, close to the entrance of the footpath; in another +moment I heard it in the lane or glade in which stood my tent, where it +abruptly stopped, but not before I had heard the very words which I at +first thought I had distinguished. + +I turned my head; at the entrance of the footpath, which might be about +thirty yards from the place where I was sitting, I perceived the figure +of a young girl; her face was turned towards me, and she appeared to be +scanning me and my encampment; after a little time she looked in the +other direction, only for a moment, however; probably observing nothing +in that quarter, she again looked towards me, and almost immediately +stepped forward; and, as she advanced, sang the song which I had heard in +the wood, the first words of which were those which I have already +alluded to. + + "The Rommany chi + And the Rommany chal + Shall jaw tasaulor + To drab the bawlor + And dook the gry + Of the farming rye." {156} + +A very pretty song, thought I, falling again hard to work upon my kettle; +a very pretty song, which bodes the farmers much good. Let them look to +their cattle. + +"All alone here, brother?" said a voice close by me, in sharp but not +disagreeable tones. + +I made no answer, but continued my work, click, click, with the gravity +which became one of my profession. I allowed at least half a minute to +elapse before I even lifted up my eyes. + +A girl of about thirteen was standing before me; her features were very +pretty, but with a peculiar expression; her complexion was a clear olive, +and her jet black hair hung back upon her shoulders. She was rather +scantily dressed, and her arms and feet were bare; round her neck, +however, was a handsome string of corals, with ornaments of gold; in her +hand she held a bulrush. + +"All alone here, brother?" said the girl, as I looked up; "all alone +here, in the lane; where are your wife and children?" + +"Why do you call me brother?" said I; "I am no brother of yours. Do you +take me for one of your people? I am no Gypsy; not I, indeed!" + +"Don't be afraid, brother, you are no Roman--Roman, indeed! you are not +handsome enough to be a Roman; not black enough, tinker though you be. If +I called you brother, it was because I didn't know what else to call you. +Marry, come up, brother, I should be sorry to have you for a brother." + +"Then you don't like me?" + +"Neither like you, nor dislike you, brother; what will you have for that +kekaubi?" + +"What's the use of talking to me in that un-Christian way; what do you +mean, young gentlewoman?" + +"Lord, brother, what a fool you are! every tinker knows what a kekaubi +is. I was asking you what you would have for that kettle." + +"Three-and-sixpence, young gentlewoman; isn't it well mended?" + +"Well mended! I could have done it better myself; three-and-sixpence! +it's only fit to be played at football with." + +"I will take no less for it, young gentlewoman; it has caused me a world +of trouble." + +"I never saw a worse mended kettle. I say, brother, your hair is white." + +"'Tis nature; your hair is black; nature, nothing but nature." + +"I am young, brother; my hair is black--that's nature: you are young, +brother; your hair is white--that's not nature." + +"I can't help it if it be not, but it is nature after all; did you never +see grey hair on the young?" + +"Never! I have heard it is true of a grey lad, and a bad one he was. Oh, +so bad." + +"Sit down on the grass, and tell me all about it, sister; do to oblige +me, pretty sister." + +"Hey, brother, you don't speak as you did--you don't speak like a Gorgio, +you speak like one of us, you call me sister." + +"As you call me brother; I am not an uncivil person after all, sister." + +"I say, brother, tell me one thing, and look me in the face--there--do +you speak Rommany?" + +"Rommany! Rommany! what is Rommany?" + +"What is Rommany? our language to be sure; tell me, brother, only one +thing, you don't speak Rommany?" + +"You say it." + +"I don't say it, I wish to know. Do you speak Rommany?" + +"Do you mean thieves' slang--cant? no, I don't speak cant, I don't like +it, I only know a few words; they call a sixpence a tanner, don't they?" + +"I don't know," said the girl, sitting down on the ground, "I was almost +thinking--well, never mind, you don't know Rommany. I say, brother, I +think I should like to have the kekaubi." + +"I thought you said it was badly mended?" + +"Yes, yes, brother, but--" + +"I thought you said it was only fit to be played at football with?" + +"Yes, yes, brother, but--" + +"What will you give for it?" + +"Brother, I am the poor person's child, I will give you sixpence for the +kekaubi." + +"Poor person's child; how came you by that necklace?" + +"Be civil, brother; am I to have the kekaubi?" + +"Not for sixpence; isn't the kettle nicely mended?" + +"I never saw a nicer mended kettle, brother; am I to have the kekaubi, +brother?" + +"You like me then?" + +"I don't dislike you--I dislike no one; there's only one, and him I don't +dislike, him I hate." + +"Who is he?" + +"I scarcely know, I never saw him, but 'tis no affair of yours, you don't +speak Rommany; you will let me have the kekaubi, pretty brother?" + +"You may have it, but not for sixpence, I'll give it to you." + +"Parraco tute, that is, I thank you, brother; the rikkeni [pretty] +kekaubi is now mine. Oh, rare! I thank you kindly, brother." + +Starting up, she flung the bulrush aside which she had hitherto held in +her hand, and, seizing the kettle, she looked at it for a moment, and +then began a kind of dance, flourishing the kettle over her head the +while, and singing-- + + "The Rommany chi + And the Rommany chal + Shall jaw tasaulor + To drab the bawlor + And dook the gry + Of the farming rye." + +"Good bye, brother, I must be going." + +"Good bye, sister; why do you sing that wicked song?" + +"Wicked song, hey, brother! you don't understand the song!" + +"Ha, ha! Gypsy daughter," said I, starting up and clapping my hands, "I +don't understand Rommany, don't I? You shall see; here's the answer to +your gillie-- + + 'The Rommany chi + And the Rommany chal + Love luripen + And dukkeripen, + And hokkeripen, + And every pen + But lachipen + And tatchipen.'" {160} + +The girl, who had given a slight start when I began, remained for some +time after I had concluded the song, standing motionless as a statue, +with the kettle in her hand. At length she came towards me, and stared +me full in the face. "Grey, tall, and talks Rommany," said she to +herself. In her countenance there was an expression which I had not seen +before--an expression which struck me as being composed of fear, +curiosity, and the deepest hate. It was momentary, however, and was +succeeded by one smiling, frank, and open. "Ha, ha, brother," said she, +"well, I like you all the better for talking Rommany; it is a sweet +language, isn't it? especially as you sing it. How did you pick it up? +But you picked it up upon the roads, no doubt? Ha, it was funny in you +to pretend not to know it, and you so flush with it all the time; it was +not kind in you, however, to frighten the poor person's child so by +screaming out, but it was kind in you to give the rikkeni kekaubi to the +child of the poor person. She will be grateful to you; she will bring +you her little dog to show you, her pretty juggal; {161} the poor +person's child will come and see you again; you are not going away to- +day, I hope, or to-morrow, pretty brother, grey-haired brother--you are +not going away to-morrow, I hope?" + +"Nor the next day," said I, "only to take a stroll to see if I can sell a +kettle; good bye, little sister, Rommany sister, dingy sister." + +"Good bye, tall brother," said the girl, as she departed, singing-- + + "The Rommany chi," etc. + +"There's something about that girl that I don't understand," said I to +myself; "something mysterious. However, it is nothing to me, she knows +not who I am, and if she did, what then?" + +Late that evening as I sat on the shaft of my cart in deep meditation, +with my arms folded, I thought I heard a rustling in the bushes over +against me. I turned my eyes in that direction, but saw nothing. "Some +bird," said I; "an owl, perhaps;" and once more I fell into meditation; +my mind wandered from one thing to another--musing now on the structure +of the Roman tongue--now on the rise and fall of the Persian power--and +now on the powers vested in recorders at quarter sessions. I was +thinking what a fine thing it must be to be a recorder of the peace, +when, lifting up my eyes, I saw right opposite, not a culprit at the bar, +but, staring at me through a gap in the bush, a face wild and strange, +half covered with grey hair; I only saw it a moment, the next it had +disappeared. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXI + + +Friend of Slingsby--All Quiet--Danger--The Two Cakes--Children in the +Wood--Don't be Angry--In Deep Thought--Temples Throbbing--Deadly +Sick--Another Blow--No Answer--How Old are You?--Play and Sacrament--Heavy +Heart--Song of Poison--Drow of Gypsies--The Dog--Ely's Church--Get up, +Bebee--The Vehicle--Can You Speak?--The Oil. + +The next day, at an early hour, I harnessed my little pony, and, putting +my things in my cart, I went on my projected stroll. Crossing the moor, +I arrived in about an hour at a small village, from which, after a short +stay, I proceeded to another, and from thence to a third. I found that +the name of Slingsby was well known in these parts. + +"If you are a friend of Slingsby you must be an honest lad," said an +ancient crone; "you shall never want for work whilst I can give it you. +Here, take my kettle, the bottom came out this morning, and lend me that +of yours till you bring it back. I'm not afraid to trust you--not I. +Don't hurry yourself, young man; if you don't come back for a fortnight I +shan't have the worse opinion of you." + +I returned to my quarters at evening, tired, but rejoiced at heart; I had +work before me for several days, having collected various kekaubies which +required mending, in place of those which I left behind--those which I +had been employed upon during the last few days. I found all quiet in +the lane or glade, and, unharnessing my little horse, I once more pitched +my tent in the old spot beneath the ash, lighted my fire, ate my frugal +meal, and then, after looking for some time at the heavenly bodies, and +more particularly at the star Jupiter, I entered my tent, lay down upon +my pallet, and went to sleep. + +Nothing occurred on the following day which requires any particular +notice, nor indeed on the one succeeding that. It was about noon on the +third day that I sat beneath the shade of the ash tree; I was not at +work, for the weather was particularly hot, and I felt but little +inclination to make any exertion. Leaning my back against the tree, I +was not long in falling into a slumber; I particularly remember that +slumber of mine beneath the ash tree, for it was about the sweetest +slumber that I ever enjoyed; how long I continued in it I do not know; I +could almost have wished that it had lasted to the present time. All of +a sudden it appeared to me that a voice cried in my ear, "Danger! danger! +danger!" Nothing seemingly could be more distinct than the words which I +heard; then an uneasy sensation came over me, which I strove to get rid +of, and at last succeeded, for I awoke. The Gypsy girl was standing just +opposite to me, with her eyes fixed upon my countenance; a singular kind +of little dog stood beside her. + +"Ha!" said I, "was it you that cried danger? What danger is there?" + +"Danger, brother? there is no danger; what danger should there be? I +called to my little dog, but that was in the wood; my little dog's name +is not danger, but stranger; what danger should there be, brother?" + +"What, indeed, except in sleeping beneath a tree; what is that you have +got in your hand?" + +"Something for you," said the girl, sitting down and proceeding to untie +a white napkin; "a pretty manricli, so sweet, so nice; when I went home +to my people I told my grandbebee how kind you had been to the poor +person's child, and when my grandbebee saw the kekaubi, she said, 'Hir mi +devlis, {165a} it won't do for the poor people to be ungrateful; by my +God, I will bake a cake for the young harko mescro.'" {165b} + +"But there are two cakes." + +"Yes, brother, two cakes, both for you; my grandbebee meant them both for +you--but list, brother, I will have one of them for bringing them. I +know you will give me one, pretty brother, grey-haired brother--which +shall I have, brother?" + +In the napkin were two round cakes, seemingly made of rich and costly +compounds, and precisely similar in form, each weighing about half a +pound. + +"Which shall I have, brother?" said the Gypsy girl. + +"Whichever you please." + +"No, brother, no, the cakes are yours, not mine, it is for you to say." + +"Well, then, give me the one nearest you, and take the other." + +"Yes, brother, yes," said the girl; and taking the cakes, she flung them +into the air two or three times, catching them as they fell, and singing +the while. "Pretty brother, grey-haired brother--here, brother," said +she, "here is your cake, this other is mine." + +"Are you sure," said I, taking the cake, "that this is the one I chose?" + +"Quite sure, brother; but if you like you can have mine; there's no +difference, however--shall I eat?" + +"Yes, sister, eat." + +"See, brother, I do; now, brother, eat, pretty brother, grey-haired +brother." + +"I am not hungry." + +"Not hungry! well, what then--what has being hungry to do with the +matter? It is my grandbebee's cake which was sent because you were kind +to the poor person's child; eat, brother, eat, and we shall be like the +children in the wood that the Gorgios speak of." + +"The children in the wood had nothing to eat." + +"Yes, they had hips and haws; we have better. Eat, brother." + +"See, sister, I do," and I ate a piece of the cake. + +"Well, brother, how do you like it?" said the girl, looking fixedly at +me. + +"It is very rich and sweet, and yet there is something strange about it; +I don't think I shall eat any more." + +"Fie, brother, fie, to find fault with the poor person's cake; see, I +have nearly eaten mine." + +"That's a pretty little dog." + +"Is it not, brother? that's my juggal, my little sister, as I call her." + +"Come here, juggal," said I to the animal. + +"What do you want with my juggal?" said the girl. + +"Only to give her a piece of cake," said I, offering the dog a piece +which I had just broken off. + +"What do you mean?" said the girl, snatching the dog away; "my +grandbebee's cake is not for dogs." + +"Why, I just now saw you give the animal a piece of yours." + +"You lie, brother, you saw no such thing; but I see how it is, you wish +to affront the poor person's child. I shall go to my house." + +"Keep still, and don't be angry; see, I have eaten the piece which I +offered the dog. I meant no offence. It is a sweet cake after all." + +"Isn't it, brother? I am glad you like it. Offence! brother, no offence +at all! I am so glad you like my grandbebee's cake, but she will be +wanting me at home. Eat one piece more of grandbebee's {167} cake and I +will go." + +"I am not hungry, I will put the rest by." + +"One piece more before I go, handsome brother, grey-haired brother." + +"I will not eat any more, I have already eaten more than I wished to +oblige you; if you must go, good day to you." + +The girl rose upon her feet, looked hard at me, then at the remainder of +the cake which I held in my hand, and then at me again, and then stood +for a moment or two, as if in deep thought; presently an air of +satisfaction came over her countenance, she smiled and said, "Well, +brother, well, do as you please, I merely wished you to eat because you +have been so kind to the poor person's child. She loves you so, that she +could have wished to have seen you eat it all; good bye, brother, I dare +say when I am gone you will eat some more of it, and if you don't, I dare +say you have eaten enough to--to--show your love for us. After all, it +was a poor person's cake, a Rommany manricli, {168} and all you Gorgios +are somewhat gorgious. Farewell, brother, pretty brother, grey-haired +brother. Come, juggal." + +I remained under the ash tree seated on the grass for a minute or two, +and endeavoured to resume the occupation in which I had been engaged +before I fell asleep, but I felt no inclination for labour. I then +thought I would sleep again, and once more reclined against the tree, and +slumbered for some little time, but my sleep was more agitated than +before. Something appeared to bear heavy on my breast, I struggled in my +sleep, fell on the grass, and awoke; my temples were throbbing, there was +a burning in my eyes, and my mouth felt parched; the oppression about the +chest which I had felt in my sleep still continued. "I must shake off +these feelings," said I, "and get upon my legs." I walked rapidly up and +down upon the green sward; at length, feeling my thirst increase, I +directed my steps down the narrow path to the spring which ran amidst the +bushes; arriving there, I knelt down and drank of the water, but on +lifting up my head I felt thirstier than before; again I drank, but with +the like result; I was about to drink for the third time, when I felt a +dreadful qualm which instantly robbed me of nearly all my strength. What +can be the matter with me, thought I; but I suppose I have made myself +ill by drinking cold water. I got up and made the best of my way back to +my tent; before I reached it the qualm had seized me again, and I was +deadly sick. I flung myself on my pallet, qualm succeeded qualm, but in +the intervals my mouth was dry and burning, and I felt a frantic desire +to drink, but no water was at hand, and to reach the spring once more was +impossible; the qualms continued, deadly pains shot through my whole +frame; I could bear my agonies no longer, and I fell into a trance or +swoon. How long I continued therein I know not; on recovering, however, +I felt somewhat better, and attempted to lift my head off my couch; the +next moment, however, the qualms and pains returned, if possible, with +greater violence than before. I am dying, thought I, like a dog, without +any help; and then methought I heard a sound at a distance like people +singing, and then once more I relapsed into my swoon. + +I revived just as a heavy blow sounded upon the canvas of the tent. I +started, but my condition did not permit me to rise; again the same kind +of blow sounded upon the canvas; I thought for a moment of crying out and +requesting assistance, but an inexplicable something chained my tongue, +and now I heard a whisper on the outside of the tent. "He does not move, +bebee," said a voice which I knew. "I should not wonder if it has done +for him already; however, strike again with your ran;" {169} and then +there was another blow, after which another voice cried aloud in a +strange tone, "Is the gentleman of the house asleep, or is he taking his +dinner?" I remained quite silent and motionless, and in another moment +the voice continued, "What, no answer? what can the gentleman of the +house be about that he makes no answer? perhaps the gentleman of the +house may be darning his stockings?" Thereupon a face peered into the +door of the tent, at the farther extremity of which I was stretched. It +was that of a woman, but owing to the posture in which she stood, with +her back to the light, and partly owing to a large straw bonnet, I could +distinguish but very little of the features of her countenance. I had, +however, recognised her voice; it was that of my old acquaintance, Mrs. +Herne. "Ho, ho, sir!" said she, "here you are. Come here, Leonora," +said she to the Gypsy girl, who pressed in at the other side of the door; +"here is the gentleman, not asleep, but only stretched out after dinner. +Sit down on your ham, child, at the door, I shall do the same. There--you +have seen me before, sir, have you not?" + +"The gentleman makes no answer, bebee; perhaps he does not know you." + +"I have known him of old, Leonora," said Mrs. Herne; "and, to tell you +the truth, though I spoke to him just now, I expected no answer." + +"It's a way he has, bebee, {170} I suppose?" + +"Yes, child, it's a way he has." + +"Take off your bonnet, bebee, perhaps he cannot see your face." + +"I do not think that will be of much use, child; however, I will take off +my bonnet--there--and shake out my hair--there--you have seen this hair +before, sir, and this face--" + +"No answer, bebee." + +"Though the one was not quite so grey, nor the other so wrinkled." + +"How came they so, bebee?" + +"All along of this Gorgio, child." + +"The gentleman in the house you mean, bebee." + +"Yes, child, the gentleman in the house. God grant that I may preserve +my temper. Do you know, sir, my name? My name is Herne, which signifies +a hairy individual, though neither grey-haired nor wrinkled. It is not +the nature of the Hernes to be grey or wrinkled, even when they are old, +and I am not old." + +"How old are you, bebee?" + +"Sixty-five years, child--an inconsiderable number. My mother was a +hundred and one--a considerable age--when she died, yet she had not one +grey hair, and not more than six wrinkles--an inconsiderable number." + +"She had no griefs, bebee?" + +"Plenty, child, but not like mine." + +"Not quite so hard to bear, bebee?" + +"No, child, my head wanders when I think of them. After the death of my +husband, who came to his end untimeously, I went to live with a daughter +of mine, married out among certain Romans who walk about the eastern +counties, and with whom for some time I found a home and pleasant +society, for they lived right Romanly, which gave my heart considerable +satisfaction, who am a Roman born, and hope to die so. When I say right +Romanly, I mean that they kept to themselves, and were not much given to +blabbing about their private matters in promiscuous company. Well, +things went on in this way for some time, when one day my son-in-law +brings home a young Gorgio of singular and outrageous ugliness, and, +without much preamble, says to me and mine, 'This is my pal, a'n't he a +beauty? fall down and worship him.' 'Hold,' said I, 'I for one will +never consent to such foolishness.'" + +"That was right, bebee, I think I should have done the same." + +"I think you would, child; but what was the profit of it? The whole +party makes an almighty of this Gorgio, lets him into their ways, says +prayers of his making, till things come to such a pass that my own +daughter says to me, 'I shall buy myself a veil and fan, and treat myself +to a play and sacrament.' 'Don't,' says I; says she, 'I should like for +once in my life to be courtesied to as a Christian gentlewoman.'" + +"Very foolish of her, bebee." + +"Wasn't it, child? Where was I? At the fan and sacrament; with a heavy +heart I put seven score miles between us, came back to the hairy ones, +and found them over-given to gorgious companions; said I, 'Foolish +manners is catching; all this comes of that there Gorgio.' Answers the +child Leonora, 'Take comfort, bebee, I hate the Gorgios as much as you +do.'" + +"And I say so again, bebee, as much or more." + +"Time flows on, I engage in many matters, in most miscarry. Am sent to +prison; says I to myself, I am become foolish. Am turned out of prison, +and go back to the hairy ones, who receive me not over courteously; says +I, for their unkindness, and my own foolishness, all the thanks to that +Gorgio. Answers to me the child, 'I wish I could set eyes upon him, +bebee.'" + +"I did so, bebee; go on." + +"'How shall I know him, bebee?' says the child. 'Young and grey, tall, +and speaks Romanly.' Runs to me the child, and says, 'I've found him, +bebee.' 'Where, child?' says I. 'Come with me, bebee,' says the child. +'That's he,' says I, as I looked at my gentleman through the hedge." + +"Ha, ha! bebee, and here he lies, poisoned like a hog." + +"You have taken drows, sir," said Mrs. Herne; "do you hear, sir? drows; +tip him a stave, child, of the song of poison." + +And thereupon the girl clapped her hands, and sang-- + + "The Rommany churl + And the Rommany girl + To-morrow shall hie + To poison the sty + And bewitch on the mead + The farmer's steed." + +"Do you hear that, sir?" said Mrs. Herne; "the child has tipped you a +stave of the song of poison: that is, she has sung it Christianly, though +perhaps you would like to hear it Romanly; you were always fond of what +was Roman. Tip it him Romanly, child." + +"He has heard it Romanly already, bebee; 'twas by that I found him out, +as I told you." + +"Halloo, sir, are you sleeping? you have taken drows; the gentleman makes +no answer. God give me patience!" + +"And what if he doesn't, bebee; isn't he poisoned like a hog? Gentleman, +indeed! why call him gentleman? if he ever was one he's broke, and is now +a tinker, a worker of blue metal." + +"That's his way, child,--to-day a tinker, to-morrow something else; and +as for being drabbed, {174a} I don't know what to say about it." + +"Not drabbed! what do you mean, bebee? but look there, bebee; ha, ha! +look at the gentleman's motions." + +"He is sick, child, sure enough. Ho, ho! sir, you have taken drows; +what, another throe! writhe, sir, writhe, the hog died by the drow of +Gypsies; I saw him stretched at evening. That's yourself, sir. There is +no hope, sir, no help, you have taken drow; shall I tell you your +fortune, sir, your dukkerin? God bless you, pretty gentleman, much +trouble will you have to suffer, and much water to cross; but never mind, +pretty gentleman, you shall be fortunate at the end, and those who hate +shall take off their hats to you." + +"Hey, bebee!" cried the girl; "what is this? what do you mean? you have +blessed the Gorgio!" + +"Blessed him! no, sure; what did I say? Oh, I remember, I'm mad; well, I +can't help it, I said what the dukkerin dook {174b} told me; woe's me, +he'll get up yet." + +"Nonsense, bebee! Look at his motions, he's drabbed, spite of dukkerin." + +"Don't say so, child; he's sick, 'tis true, but don't laugh at dukkerin, +only folks do that that know no better. I, for one, will never laugh at +the dukkerin dook. Sick again; I wish he was gone." + +"He'll soon be gone, bebee; let's leave him. He's as good as gone; look +there, he's dead." + +"No, he's not, he'll get up--I feel it; can't we hasten him?" + +"Hasten him! yes, to be sure; set the dog upon him. Here, juggal, look +in there, my dog." + +The dog made its appearance at the door of the tent, and began to bark +and tear up the ground. + +"At him, juggal, at him; he wished to poison, to drab you. Halloo!" + +The dog barked violently, and seemed about to spring at my face, but +retreated. + +"The dog won't fly at him, child; he flashed at the dog with his eye, and +scared him. He'll get up." + +"Nonsense, bebee! you make me angry; how should he get up?" + +"The dook tells me so, and, what's more, I had a dream. I thought I was +at York, standing amidst a crowd to see a man hung, and the crowd shouted +'There he comes!' and I looked, and, lo! it was the tinker; before I +could cry with joy I was whisked away, and I found myself in Ely's big +church, which was chock full of people to hear the dean preach, and all +eyes were turned to the big pulpit; and presently I heard them say, +'There he mounts!' and I looked up to the big pulpit, and, lo! the tinker +was in the pulpit, and he raised his arm and began to preach. Anon, I +found myself at York again, just as the drop fell, and I looked up, and I +saw not the tinker, but my own self hanging in the air." + +"You are going mad, bebee; if you want to hasten him, take your stick and +poke him in the eye." + +"That will be of no use, child, the dukkerin tells me so; but I will try +what I can do. Halloo, tinker! you must introduce yourself into a quiet +family, and raise confusion--must you? You must steal its language, and, +what was never done before, write it down Christianly--must you? Take +that--and that;" and she stabbed violently with her stick towards the end +of the tent. + +"That's right, bebee, you struck his face; now once more, and let it be +in the eye. Stay, what's that? get up, bebee." + +"What's the matter, child?" + +"Some one is coming; come away." + +"Let me make sure of him, child; he'll be up yet." And thereupon Mrs. +Herne, rising, leaned forward into the tent, and, supporting herself +against the pole, took aim in the direction of the farther end. "I will +thrust out his eye," said she; and, lunging with her stick, she would +probably have accomplished her purpose had not at that moment the pole of +the tent given way, whereupon she fell to the ground, the canvas falling +upon her and her intended victim. + +"Here's a pretty affair, bebee," screamed the girl. + +"He'll get up yet," said Mrs. Herne, from beneath the canvas. + +"Get up!--get up yourself; where are you? where is your . . . Here, +there, bebee, here's the door; there, make haste; they are coming." + +"He'll get up yet," said Mrs. Herne, recovering her breath, "the dook +tells me so." + +"Never mind him or the dook; he is drabbed; come away, or we shall be +grabbed--both of us." + +"One more blow, I know where his head lies." + +"You are mad, bebee; leave the fellow--Gorgio avella." {177} + +And thereupon the females hurried away. + +A vehicle of some kind was evidently drawing nigh; in a little time it +came alongside of the place where lay the fallen tent, and stopped +suddenly. There was a silence for a moment, and then a parley ensued +between two voices, one of which was that of a woman. It was not in +English, but in a deep guttural tongue. + +"Peth yw hono sydd yn gorwedd yna ar y ddaear?" said a masculine voice. + +"Yn wirionedd--I do not know what it can be," said the female voice, in +the same tongue. + +"Here is a cart, and there are tools; but what is that on the ground?" + +"Something moves beneath it; and what was that--a groan?" + +"Shall I get down?" + +"Of course, Peter, some one may want your help." + +"Then I will get down, though I do not like this place, it is frequented +by Egyptians, and I do not like their yellow faces, nor their clibberty +clabber, as Master Ellis Wyn says. Now I am down. It is a tent, +Winifred, and see, here is a boy beneath it. Merciful father! what a +face!" + +A middle-aged man, with a strongly marked and serious countenance, +dressed in sober-coloured habiliments, had lifted up the stifling folds +of the tent, and was bending over me. "Can you speak, my lad?" said he +in English; "what is the matter with you? if you could but tell me, I +could perhaps help you . . . " "What is that you say? I can't hear you. +I will kneel down;" and he flung himself on the ground, and placed his +ear close to my mouth. "Now speak if you can. Hey! what! no, sure, God +forbid!" then starting up, he cried to a female who sat in the cart, +anxiously looking on--"Gwenwyn! gwenwyn! yw y gwas wedi ei gwenwynaw. The +oil! Winifred, the oil!" + + + + +CHAPTER LXXII + + +Desired Effect--The Three Oaks--Winifred--Things of Time--With God's +Will--The Preacher--Creature Comforts--Croesaw--Welsh and English--Mayor +of Chester. + +The oil, which the strangers compelled me to take, produced the desired +effect, though, during at least two hours, it was very doubtful whether +or not my life would be saved. At the end of that period the man said, +that with the blessing of God, he would answer for my life. He then +demanded whether I thought I could bear to be removed from the place in +which we were, "for I like it not," he continued, "as something within me +tells me that it is not good for any of us to be here." I told him, as +well as I was able, that I, too, should be glad to leave the place; +whereupon, after collecting my things, he harnessed my pony, and, with +the assistance of the woman, he contrived to place me in the cart; he +then gave me a draught out of a small phial, and we set forward at a slow +pace, the man walking by the side of the cart in which I lay. It is +probable that the draught consisted of a strong opiate, for after +swallowing it I fell into a deep slumber; on my awaking, I found that the +shadows of night had enveloped the earth--we were still moving on. +Shortly, however, after descending a declivity, we turned into a lane, at +the entrance of which was a gate. This lane conducted to a meadow, +through the middle of which ran a small brook; it stood between two +rising grounds; that on the left, which was on the farther side of the +water, was covered with wood, whilst the one on the right, which was not +so high, was crowned with the white walls of what appeared to be a +farmhouse. + +Advancing along the meadow, we presently came to a place where grew three +immense oaks, almost on the side of the brook, over which they flung +their arms, so as to shade it as with a canopy; the ground beneath was +bare of grass, and nearly as hard and smooth as the floor of a barn. +Having led his own cart on one side of the midmost tree, and my own on +the other, the stranger said to me, "This is the spot where my wife and +myself generally tarry in the summer season, when we come into these +parts. We are about to pass the night here. I suppose you will have no +objection to do the same? Indeed, I do not see what else you could do +under present circumstances." After receiving my answer, in which I, of +course, expressed my readiness to assent to his proposal, he proceeded to +unharness his horse, and, feeling myself much better, I got down, and +began to make the necessary preparations for passing the night beneath +the oak. + +Whilst thus engaged, I felt myself touched on the shoulder, and, looking +round, perceived the woman, whom the stranger called Winifred, standing +close to me. The moon was shining brightly upon her, and I observed that +she was very good looking, with a composed, yet cheerful expression of +countenance; her dress was plain and primitive, very much resembling that +of a Quaker. She held a straw bonnet in her hand. "I am glad to see +thee moving about, young man," said she, in a soft, placid tone; "I could +scarcely have expected it. Thou must be wondrous strong; many, after +what thou hast suffered, would not have stood on their feet for weeks and +months. What do I say?--Peter, my husband, who is skilled in medicine, +just now told me that not one in five hundred would have survived what +thou hast this day undergone; but allow me to ask thee one thing, Hast +thou returned thanks to God for thy deliverance?" I made no answer, and +the woman, after a pause, said, "Excuse me, young man, but do you know +anything of God?" "Very little," I replied, "but I should say He must be +a wondrous strong Person, if He made all those big bright things up above +there, to say nothing of the ground on which we stand, which bears beings +like these oaks, each of which is fifty times as strong as myself, and +will live twenty times as long." The woman was silent for some moments, +and then said, "I scarcely know in what spirit thy words are uttered. If +thou art serious, however, I would caution thee against supposing that +the power of God is more manifested in these trees, or even in those +bright stars above us, than in thyself--they are things of time, but thou +art a being destined to an eternity; it depends upon thyself whether thy +eternity shall be one of joy or sorrow." + +Here she was interrupted by the man, who exclaimed from the other side of +the tree, "Winifred, it is getting late, you had better go up to the +house on the hill to inform our friends of our arrival, or they will have +retired for the night." "True," said Winifred, and forthwith wended her +way to the house in question, returning shortly with another woman, whom +the man, speaking in the same language which I had heard him first use, +greeted by the name of Mary; the woman replied in the same tongue, but +almost immediately said, in English, "We hoped to have heard you speak to- +night, Peter, but we cannot expect that now, seeing that it is so late, +owing to your having been detained by the way, as Winifred tells me; +nothing remains for you to do now but to sup--to-morrow, with God's will, +we shall hear you." "And to-night, also, with God's will, provided you +be so disposed. Let those of your family come hither." "They will be +hither presently," said Mary, "for knowing that thou art arrived, they +will, of course, come and bid thee welcome." And scarcely had she spoke, +when I beheld a party of people descending the moonlit side of the hill. +They soon arrived at the place where we were; they might amount in all to +twelve individuals. The principal person was a tall, athletic man, of +about forty, dressed like a plain country farmer; this was, I soon found, +the husband of Mary; the rest of the group consisted of the children of +these two, and their domestic servants. One after another they all shook +Peter by the hand, men and women, boys and girls, and expressed their joy +at seeing him. After which, he said, "Now, friends, if you please, I +will speak a few words to you." A stool was then brought him from the +cart, which he stepped on, and the people arranging themselves round him, +some standing, some seated on the ground, he forthwith began to address +them in a clear, distinct voice; and the subject of his discourse was the +necessity, in all human beings, of a change of heart. + +The preacher was better than his promise, for, instead of speaking a few +words, he preached for at least three-quarters of an hour; none of the +audience, however, showed the slightest symptom of weariness; on the +contrary, the hope of each individual appeared to hang upon the words +which proceeded from his mouth. At the conclusion of the sermon or +discourse, the whole assembly again shook Peter by the hand, and returned +to their house, the mistress of the family saying, as she departed, "I +shall soon be back, Peter, I go but to make arrangements for the supper +of thyself and company;" and, in effect, she presently returned, attended +by a young woman, who bore a tray in her hands. "Set it down, Jessy," +said the mistress to the girl, "and then betake thyself to thy rest; I +shall remain here for a little time to talk with my friends." The girl +departed, and the preacher and the two females placed themselves on the +ground about the tray. The man gave thanks, and himself and his wife +appeared to be about to eat, when the latter suddenly placed her hand +upon his arm, and said something to him in a low voice, whereupon he +exclaimed, "Ay, truly, we were both forgetful;" and then getting up, he +came towards me, who stood a little way off, leaning against the wheel of +my cart; and, taking me by the hand, he said, "Pardon us, young man, we +were both so engaged in our own creature-comforts, that we forgot thee, +but it is not too late to repair our fault; wilt thou not join us, and +taste our bread and milk?" "I cannot eat," I replied, "but I think I +could drink a little milk;" whereupon he led me to the rest, and seating +me by his side, he poured some milk into a horn cup, saying, "'Croesaw.' +That," added he, with a smile, "is Welsh for welcome." + +The fare upon the tray was of the simplest description, consisting of +bread, cheese, milk, and curds. My two friends partook with a good +appetite. "Mary," said the preacher, addressing himself to the woman of +the house, "every time I come to visit thee, I find thee less inclined to +speak Welsh. I suppose, in a little time, thou wilt entirely have +forgotten it; hast thou taught it to any of thy children?" "The two +eldest understand a few words," said the woman, "but my husband does not +wish them to learn it; he says sometimes, jocularly, that though it +pleased him to marry a Welsh wife, it does not please him to have Welsh +children. Who, I have heard him say, would be a Welshman, if he could be +an Englishman?" "I for one," said the preacher, somewhat hastily; "not +to be king of all England would I give up my birthright as a Welshman. +Your husband is an excellent person, Mary, but I am afraid he is somewhat +prejudiced." "You do him justice, Peter, in saying that he is an +excellent person," said the woman; "as to being prejudiced, I scarcely +know what to say, but he thinks that two languages in the same kingdom +are almost as bad as two kings." "That's no bad observation," said the +preacher, "and it is generally the case; yet, thank God, the Welsh and +English go on very well, side by side, and I hope will do so till the +Almighty calls all men to their long account." "They jog on very well +now," said the woman; "but I have heard my husband say that it was not +always so, and that the Welsh, in old times, were a violent and ferocious +people, for that once they hanged the mayor of Chester." "Ha, ha!" said +the preacher, and his eyes flashed in the moonlight; "he told you that, +did he?" "Yes," said Mary; "once, when the mayor of Chester, with some +of his people, was present at one of the fairs over the border, a quarrel +arose between the Welsh and the English, and the Welsh beat the English, +and hanged the mayor." "Your husband is a clever man," said Peter, "and +knows a great deal; did he tell you the name of the leader of the Welsh? +No! then I will: the leader of the Welsh on that occasion was ---. He +was a powerful chieftain, and there was an old feud between him and the +men of Chester. Afterwards, when two hundred of the men of Chester +invaded his country to take revenge for their mayor, he enticed them into +a tower, set fire to it, and burnt them all. That --- was a very fine, +noble--God forgive me, what was I about to say!--a very bad, violent man; +but, Mary, this is very carnal and unprofitable conversation, and in +holding it we set a very bad example to the young man here--let us change +the subject." + +They then began to talk on religious matters. At length Mary departed to +her abode, and the preacher and his wife retired to their tilted cart. + +"Poor fellow, he seems to be almost brutally ignorant," said Peter, +addressing his wife in their native language, after they had bidden me +farewell for the night. + +"I am afraid he is," said Winifred, "yet my heart warms to the poor lad, +he seems so forlorn." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXIII + + +Morning Hymn--Much Alone--John Bunyan--Beholden to +Nobody--Sixty-five--Sober Greeting--Early Sabbaths--Finny Brood--The +Porch--No Fortune-telling--The Master's Niece--Doing Good--Two or Three +Things--Groans and Voices--Pechod Ysprydd Glan. + +I slept soundly during that night, partly owing to the influence of the +opiate. Early in the morning I was awakened by the voices of Peter and +his wife, who were singing a morning hymn in their own language. Both +subsequently prayed long and fervently. I lay still till their devotions +were completed, and then left my tent. "Good morning," said Peter, "how +dost thou feel?" "Much better," said I, "than I could have expected." "I +am glad of it," said Peter. "Art thou hungry? yonder comes our +breakfast," pointing to the same young woman I had seen the preceding +night, who was again descending the hill bearing the tray upon her head. + +"What dost thou intend to do, young man, this day?" said Peter, when we +had about half finished breakfast. "Do," said I; "as I do other days, +what I can." "And dost thou pass this day as thou dost other days?" said +Peter. "Why not?" said I; "what is there in this day different from the +rest? it seems to be of the same colour as yesterday." "Art thou aware," +said the wife, interposing, "what day it is? that it is Sabbath? that it +is Sunday?" "No," said I, "I did not know that it was Sunday." "And how +did that happen?" said Winifred, with a sigh. "To tell you the truth," +said I, "I live very much alone, and pay very little heed to the passing +of time." "And yet of what infinite importance is time," said Winifred. +"Art thou not aware that every year brings thee nearer to thy end?" "I +do not think," said I, "that I am so near my end as I was yesterday." +"Yes, thou art," said the woman; "thou wast not doomed to die yesterday; +an invisible hand was watching over thee yesterday; but thy day will +come, therefore improve the time; be grateful that thou wast saved +yesterday; and, oh! reflect on one thing; if thou hadst died yesterday, +where wouldst thou have been now?" "Cast into the earth, perhaps," said +I. "I have heard Mr. Petulengro say that to be cast into the earth is +the natural end of man." "Who is Mr. Petulengro?" said Peter, +interrupting his wife, as she was about to speak. "Master of the horse- +shoe," said I; "and, according to his own account, king of Egypt." "I +understand," said Peter, "head of some family of wandering Egyptians--they +are a race utterly godless. Art thou of them?--but no, thou art not, +thou hast not their yellow blood. I suppose thou belongest to the family +of wandering artisans called ---. I do not like you the worse for +belonging to them. A mighty speaker of old sprang up from amidst that +family." "Who was he?" said I. "John Bunyan," {188} replied Peter, +reverently, "and the mention of his name reminds me that I have to preach +this day; wilt thou go and hear? the distance is not great, only half a +mile." "No," said I, "I will not go and hear." "Wherefore?" said Peter. +"I belong to the Church," said I, "and not to the congregations." "Oh! +the pride of that Church," said Peter, addressing his wife in their own +tongue, "exemplified even in the lowest and most ignorant of its +members." "Then thou, doubtless, meanest to go to church," said Peter, +again addressing me; "there is a church on the other side of that wooded +hill." "No," said I, "I do not mean to go to church." "May I ask thee +wherefore?" said Peter. "Because," said I, "I prefer remaining beneath +the shade of these trees, listening to the sound of the leaves, and the +tinkling of the waters." + +"Then thou intendest to remain here?" said Peter, looking fixedly at me. +"If I do not intrude," said I; "but if I do, I will wander away; I wish +to be beholden to nobody--perhaps you wish me to go?" "On the contrary," +said Peter, "I wish you to stay. I begin to see something in thee which +has much interest for me; but we must now bid thee farewell for the rest +of the day, the time is drawing nigh for us to repair to the place of +preaching; before we leave thee alone, however, I should wish to ask thee +a question--Didst thou seek thy own destruction yesterday, and didst thou +wilfully take that poison?" "No," said I; "had I known there had been +poison in the cake I certainly should not have taken it." "And who gave +it thee?" said Peter. "An enemy of mine," I replied. "Who is thy +enemy?" "An Egyptian sorceress and poison-monger." "Thy enemy is a +female. I fear thou hadst given her cause to hate thee--of what did she +complain?" "That I had stolen the tongue out of her head." "I do not +understand thee--is she young?" "About sixty-five." + +Here Winifred interposed. "Thou didst call her just now by hard names, +young man," said she; "I trust thou dost bear no malice against her?" +"No," said I, "I bear no malice against her." "Thou art not wishing to +deliver her into the hand of what is called justice?" "By no means," +said I; "I have lived long enough upon the roads not to cry out for the +constable when my finger is broken. I consider this poisoning as an +accident of the roads; one of those to which those who travel are +occasionally subject." "In short, thou forgivest thine adversary?" "Both +now and for ever," said I. "Truly," said Winifred, "the spirit which the +young man displayeth pleases me much; I should be loth that he left us +yet. I have no doubt that, with the blessing of God, and a little of thy +exhortation, he will turn out a true Christian before he leaveth us." "My +exhortation!" said Peter, and a dark shade passed over his countenance; +"thou forgettest what I am--I--I--but I am forgetting myself; the Lord's +will be done; and now put away the things, for I perceive that our +friends are coming to attend us to the place of meeting." + +Again the family which I had seen the night before descended the hill +from their abode. They were now dressed in their Sunday's best. The +master of the house led the way. They presently joined us, when a quiet +sober greeting ensued on each side. After a little time Peter shook me +by the hand and bade me farewell till the evening; Winifred did the same, +adding, that she hoped I should be visited by sweet and holy thoughts. +The whole party then moved off in the direction by which we had come the +preceding night, Peter and the master leading the way, followed by +Winifred and the mistress of the family. As I gazed on their departing +forms, I felt almost inclined to follow them to their place of worship. I +did not stir, however, but remained leaning against my oak with my hands +behind me. + +And after a time I sat me down at the foot of the oak with my face turned +towards the water, and, folding my hands, I fell into deep meditation. I +thought on the early Sabbaths of my life, and the manner in which I was +wont to pass them. How carefully I said my prayers when I got up on the +Sabbath morn, and how carefully I combed my hair and brushed my clothes +in order that I might do credit to the Sabbath day. I thought of the old +church at pretty D---, the dignified rector, and yet more dignified +clerk. I thought of England's grand Liturgy, and Tate and Brady's +sonorous minstrelsy. I thought of the Holy Book, portions of which I was +in the habit of reading between service. I thought, too, of the evening +walk which I sometimes took in fine weather like the present, with my +mother and brother--a quiet sober walk, during which I would not break +into a run, even to chase a butterfly, or yet more a honey-bee, being +fully convinced of the dread importance of the day which God had +hallowed. And how glad I was when I had got over the Sabbath day without +having done anything to profane it. And how soundly I slept on the +Sabbath night after the toil of being very good throughout the day. + +And when I had mused on those times a long while, I sighed and said to +myself, I am much altered since then; am I altered for the better? And +then I looked at my hands and my apparel, and sighed again. I was not +wont of yore to appear thus on the Sabbath day. + +For a long time I continued in a state of deep meditation, till at last I +lifted up my eyes to the sun, which, as usual during that glorious +summer, was shining in unclouded majesty; and then I lowered them to the +sparkling water, in which hundreds of the finny brood were disporting +themselves, and then I thought what a fine thing it was to be a fish on +such a fine summer day, and I wished myself a fish, or at least amongst +the fishes; and then I looked at my hands again, and then, bending over +the water, I looked at my face in the crystal mirror, and started when I +saw it, for it looked squalid and miserable. + +Forthwith I started up, and said to myself, I should like to bathe and +cleanse myself from the squalor produced by my late hard life and by Mrs. +Herne's drow. I wonder if there is any harm in bathing on the Sabbath +day. I will ask Winifred when she comes home; in the meantime I will +bathe, provided I can find a fitting place. + +But the brook, though a very delightful place for fish to disport in, was +shallow, and by no means adapted for the recreation of so large a being +as myself; it was, moreover, exposed, though I saw nobody at hand, nor +heard a single human voice or sound. Following the winding of the brook +I left the meadow, and, passing through two or three thickets, came to a +place where between lofty banks the water ran deep and dark, and there I +bathed, imbibing new tone and vigour into my languid and exhausted frame. + +Having put on my clothes, I returned by the way I had come to my vehicle +beneath the oak tree. From thence, for want of something better to do, I +strolled up the hill, on the top of which stood the farmhouse; it was a +large and commodious building built principally of stone, and seeming of +some antiquity, with a porch, on either side of which was an oaken bench. +On the right was seated a young woman with a book in her hand, the same +who had brought the tray to my friends and myself. + +"Good day," said I, "pretty damsel, sitting in the farm porch." + +"Good day," said the girl, looking at me for a moment, and then fixing +her eyes on her book. + +"That's a nice book you are reading," said I. + +The girl looked at me with surprise. "How do you know what book it is?" +said she. + +"How do I know--never mind; but a nice book it is--no love, no fortune- +telling in it." + +The girl looked at me half offended. "Fortune-telling!" said she, "I +should think not. But you know nothing about it;" and she bent her head +once more over the book. + +"I tell you what, young person," said I, "I know all about that book; +what will you wager that I do not?" + +"I never wager," said the girl. + +"Shall I tell you the name of it," said I, "O daughter of the dairy?" + +The girl half started. "I should never have thought," said she, half +timidly, "that you could have guessed it." + +"I did not guess it," said I, "I knew it; and meet and proper it is that +you should read it." + +"Why so?" said the girl. + +"Can the daughter of the dairy read a more fitting book than the +'Dairyman's Daughter'?" + +"Where do you come from?" said the girl. + +"Out of the water," said I. "Don't start, I have been bathing; are you +fond of the water?" + +"No," said the girl, heaving a sigh; "I am not fond of the water, that +is, of the sea;" and here she sighed again. + +"The sea is a wide gulf," said I, "and frequently separates hearts." + +The girl sobbed. + +"Why are you alone here?" said I. + +"I take my turn with the rest," said the girl, "to keep at home on +Sunday." + +"And you are--" said I. + +"The master's niece!" said the girl. "How came you to know it? But why +did you not go with the rest and with your friends?" + +"Who are those you call my friends?" said I. + +"Peter and his wife." + +"And who are they?" said I. + +"Do you not know?" said the girl; "you came with them." + +"They found me ill by the way," said I; "and they relieved me: I know +nothing about them." + +"I thought you knew everything," said the girl. + +"There are two or three things which I do not know, and this is one of +them. Who are they?" + +"Did you never hear of the great Welsh preacher, Peter Williams?" + +"Never," said I. + +"Well," said the girl, "this is he, and Winifred is his wife, and a nice +person she is. Some people say, indeed, that she is as good a preacher +as her husband, though of that matter I can say nothing, having never +heard her preach. So these two wander over all Wales and the greater +part of England, comforting the hearts of the people with their doctrine, +and doing all the good they can. They frequently come here, for the +mistress is a Welsh woman, and an old friend of both, and then they take +up their abode in the cart beneath the old oaks down there by the +stream." + +"And what is their reason for doing so?" said I; "would it not be more +comfortable to sleep beneath a roof?" + +"I know not their reasons," said the girl, "but so it is; they never +sleep beneath a roof unless the weather is very severe. I once heard the +mistress say that Peter had something heavy upon his mind; perhaps that +is the cause. If he is unhappy, all I can say is, that I wish him +otherwise, for he is a good man and a kind--" + +"Thank you," said I, "I will now depart." + +"Hem!" said the girl, "I was wishing--" + +"What? to ask me a question?" + +"Not exactly; but you seem to know everything; you mentioned, I think, +fortune-telling." + +"Do you wish me to tell your fortune?" + +"By no means; but I have a friend at a distance at sea, and I should wish +to know--" + +"When he will come back? I have told you already there are two or three +things which I do not know--this is another of them. However, I should +not be surprised if he were to come back some of these days; I would if I +were in his place. In the meantime be patient, attend to the dairy, and +read the 'Dairyman's Daughter' when you have nothing better to do." + +It was late in the evening when the party of the morning returned. The +farmer and his family repaired at once to their abode, and my two friends +joined me beneath the tree. Peter sat down at the foot of the oak, and +said nothing. Supper was brought by a servant, not the damsel of the +porch. We sat round the tray, Peter said grace, but scarcely anything +else; he appeared sad and dejected, his wife looked anxiously upon him. I +was as silent as my friends; after a little time we retired to our +separate places of rest. + +About midnight I was awakened by a noise; I started up and listened; it +appeared to me that I heard voices and groans. In a moment I had issued +from my tent--all was silent--but the next moment I again heard groans +and voices; they proceeded from the tilted cart where Peter and his wife +lay; I drew near, again there was a pause, and then I heard the voice of +Peter, in an accent of extreme anguish, exclaim, "Pechod Ysprydd Glan--O +pechod Ysprydd Glan!" and then he uttered a deep groan. Anon, I heard +the voice of Winifred, and never shall I forget the sweetness and +gentleness of the tones of her voice in the stillness of that night. I +did not understand all she said--she spoke in her native language, and I +was some way apart; she appeared to endeavour to console her husband, but +he seemed to refuse all comfort, and, with many groans, repeated--"Pechod +Ysprydd Glan--O pechod Ysprydd Glan!" I felt I had no right to pry into +their afflictions, and retired. + +Now "pechod Ysprydd Glan," interpreted, is the sin against the Holy +Ghost. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXIV + + +The Following Day--Pride--Thriving Trade--Tylwyth Teg--Ellis Wyn--Sleeping +Bard--Incalculable Good--Fearful Agony--The Tale. + +Peter and his wife did not proceed on any expedition during the following +day. The former strolled gloomily about the fields, and the latter +passed many hours in the farmhouse. Towards evening, without saying a +word to either, I departed with my vehicle, and finding my way to a small +town at some distance, I laid in a store of various articles, with which +I returned. It was night, and my two friends were seated beneath the +oak; they had just completed their frugal supper. "We waited for thee +some time," said Winifred, "but, finding that thou didst not come, we +began without thee; but sit down, I pray thee, there is still enough for +thee." "I will sit down," said I, "but I require no supper, for I have +eaten where I have been:" nothing more particular occurred at the time. +Next morning the kind pair invited me to share their breakfast. "I will +not share your breakfast," said I. "Wherefore not?" said Winifred, +anxiously. "Because," said I, "it is not proper that I be beholden to +you for meat and drink." "But we are beholden to other people," said +Winifred. "Yes," said I, "but you preach to them, and give them ghostly +advice, which considerably alters the matter; not that I would receive +anything from them, if I preached to them six times a day." "Thou art +not fond of receiving favours, then, young man?" said Winifred. "I am +not," said I. "And of conferring favours?" "Nothing affords me greater +pleasure," said I, "than to confer favours." "What a disposition!" said +Winifred, holding up her hands; "and this is pride, genuine pride--that +feeling which the world agrees to call so noble. Oh, how mean a thing is +pride! never before did I see all the meanness of what is called pride!" + +"But how wilt thou live, friend?" said Peter; "dost thou not intend to +eat?" "When I went out last night," said I, "I laid in a provision." +"Thou hast laid in a provision!" said Peter; "pray let us see it. Really, +friend," said he, after I had produced it, "thou must drive a thriving +trade; here are provisions enough to last three people for several days. +Here are butter and eggs, here is tea, here is sugar, and there is a +flitch. I hope thou wilt let us partake of some of thy fare." "I should +be very happy if you would," said I. "Doubt not but we shall," said +Peter; "Winifred shall have some of thy flitch cooked for dinner. In the +meantime, sit down, young man, and breakfast at our expense--we will dine +at thine." + +On the evening of that day, Peter and myself sat alone beneath the oak. +We fell into conversation; Peter was at first melancholy, but he soon +became more cheerful, fluent, and entertaining. I spoke but little; but +I observed that sometimes what I said surprised the good Methodist. We +had been silent some time. At length, lifting up my eyes to the broad +and leafy canopy of the trees, I said, having nothing better to remark, +"What a noble tree! I wonder if the fairies ever dance beneath it?" + +"Fairies!" said Peter, "fairies! how came you, young man, to know +anything about the fair family?" + +"I am an Englishman," said I, "and of course know something about +fairies; England was once a famous place for them." + +"Was once, I grant you," said Peter, "but is so no longer. I have +travelled for years about England, and never heard them mentioned before; +the belief in them has died away, and even their name seems to be +forgotten. If you had said you were a Welshman, I should not have been +surprised. The Welsh have much to say of the Tylwyth Teg, or fair +family, and many believe in them." + +"And do you believe in them?" said I. + +"I scarcely know what to say. Wise and good men have been of opinion +that they are nothing but devils, who, under the form of pretty and +amiable spirits, would fain allure poor human beings; I see nothing +irrational in the supposition." + +"Do you believe in devils then?" + +"Do I believe in devils, young man!" said Peter, and his frame was shaken +as if by convulsions. "If I do not believe in devils, why am I here at +the present moment?" + +"You know best," said I; "but I don't believe that fairies are devils, +and I don't wish to hear them insulted. What learned men have said they +are devils?" + +"Many have said it, young man, and, amongst others, Master Ellis Wyn, in +that wonderful book of his, the 'Bardd Cwsg.'" + +"The 'Bardd Cwsg,'" said I; "what kind of book is that? I have never +heard of that book before." + +"Heard of it before! I suppose not; how should you have heard of it +before! By the bye, can you read?" + +"Very tolerably," said I; "so there are fairies in this book. What do +you call it--the 'Bardd Cwsg'?" + +"Yes, the 'Bardd Cwsg.' You pronounce Welsh very fairly; have you ever +been in Wales?" + +"Never," said I. + +"Not been in Wales; then, of course, you don't understand Welsh; but we +were talking of the 'Bardd Cwsg,'--yes, there are fairies in the 'Bardd +Cwsg,'--the author of it, Master Ellis Wyn, {201} was carried away in his +sleep by them over mountains and valleys, rivers and great waters, +incurring mighty perils at their hands, till he was rescued from them by +an angel of the Most High, who subsequently showed him many wonderful +things." + +"I beg your pardon," said I, "but what were those wonderful things?" + +"I see, young man," said Peter, smiling, "that you are not without +curiosity; but I can easily pardon any one for being curious about the +wonders contained in the book of Master Ellis Wyn. The angel showed him +the course of this world, its pomps and vanities, its cruelty and its +pride, its crimes and deceits. On another occasion, the angel showed him +Death in his nether palace, surrounded by his grisly ministers, and by +those who are continually falling victims to his power. And, on a third +occasion, the state of the condemned in their place of everlasting +torment." + +"But this was all in his sleep," said I, "was it not?" + +"Yes," said Peter, "in his sleep; and on that account the book is called +'Gweledigaethau y Bardd Cwsg,' or, Visions of the Sleeping Bard." + +"I do not care for wonders which occur in sleep," said I. "I prefer real +ones; and perhaps, notwithstanding what he says, the man had no visions +at all--they are probably of his own invention." + +"They are substantially true, young man," said Peter; "like the dreams of +Bunyan, they are founded on three tremendous facts, Sin, Death, and Hell; +and like his they have done incalculable good, at least in my own +country, in the language of which they are written. Many a guilty +conscience has the 'Bardd Cwsg' aroused with its dreadful sights, its +strong sighs, its puffs of smoke from the pit, and its showers of sparks +from the mouth of the yet lower gulf of--Unknown--were it not for the +'Bardd Cwsg' perhaps I might not be here." + +"I would sooner hear your own tale," said I, "than all the visions of the +'Bardd Cwsg.'" + +Peter shook, bent his form nearly double, and covered his face with his +hands. I sat still and motionless, with my eyes fixed upon him. +Presently Winifred descended the hill, and joined us. "What is the +matter?" said she, looking at her husband, who still remained in the +posture I have described. He made no answer; whereupon, laying her hand +gently on his shoulder, she said, in the peculiar soft and tender tone +which I had heard her use on a former occasion, "Take comfort, Peter; +what has happened now to afflict thee?" Peter removed his hands from his +face. "The old pain, the old pain," said he; "I was talking with this +young man, and he would fain know what brought me here, he would fain +hear my tale, Winifred--my sin: O pechod Ysprydd Glan! O pechod Ysprydd +Glan!" and the poor man fell into a more fearful agony than before. Tears +trickled down Winifred's face, I saw them trickling by the moonlight, as +she gazed upon the writhing form of her afflicted husband. I arose from +my seat; "I am the cause of all this," said I, "by my folly and +imprudence, and it is thus I have returned your kindness and hospitality; +I will depart from you and wander my way." I was retiring, but Peter +sprang up and detained me. "Go not," said he, "you were not in fault; if +there be any fault in the case it was mine; if I suffer, I am but paying +the penalty of my own iniquity;" he then paused, and appeared to be +considering: at length he said, "Many things which thou hast seen and +heard connected with me require explanation; thou wishest to know my +tale, I will tell it thee, but not now, not to-night; I am too much +shaken." + +Two evenings later, when we were again seated beneath the oak, Peter took +the hand of his wife in his own, and then, in tones broken and almost +inarticulate, commenced telling me his tale--the tale of the Pechod +Ysprydd Glan. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXV + + +Taking a Cup--Getting to Heaven--After Breakfast--Wooden +Gallery--Mechanical Habit--Reserved and Gloomy--Last Words--A Long +Time--From the Clouds--Ray of Hope--Momentary Chill--Pleasing +Anticipation. + +"I was born in the heart of North Wales, the son of a respectable farmer, +and am the youngest of seven brothers. + +"My father was a member of the Church of England, and was what is +generally called a serious man. He went to church regularly, and read +the Bible every Sunday evening; in his moments of leisure he was fond of +holding religious discourse both with his family and his neighbours. + +"One autumn afternoon, on a week day, my father sat with one of his +neighbours taking a cup of ale by the oak table in our stone kitchen. I +sat near them, and listened to their discourse. I was at that time seven +years of age. They were talking of religious matters. 'It is a hard +matter to get to heaven,' said my father. 'Exceedingly so,' said the +other. 'However, I don't despond, none need despair of getting to +heaven, save those who have committed the sin against the Holy Ghost.' + +"'Ah!' said my father, 'thank God I never committed that--how awful must +be the state of a person who has committed the sin against the Holy +Ghost. I can scarcely think of it without my hair standing on end;' and +then my father and his friend began talking of the nature of the sin +against the Holy Ghost, and I heard them say what it was, as I sat with +greedy ears listening to their discourse. + +"I lay awake the greater part of the night musing upon what I had heard. +I kept wondering to myself what must be the state of a person who had +committed the sin against the Holy Ghost, and how he must feel. Once or +twice I felt a strong inclination to commit it, a strange kind of fear, +however, prevented me; at last I determined not to commit it, and, having +said my prayers, I fell asleep. + +"When I awoke in the morning the first thing I thought of was the +mysterious sin, and a voice within me seemed to say, 'Commit it'; and I +felt a strong temptation to do so, even stronger than in the night. I +was just about to yield, when the same dread, of which I have already +spoken, came over me, and, springing out of bed, I went down on my knees. +I slept in a small room alone, to which I ascended by a wooden stair, +open to the sky. I have often thought since that it is not a good thing +for children to sleep alone. + +"After breakfast I went to school, and endeavoured to employ myself upon +my tasks, but all in vain; I could think of nothing but the sin against +the Holy Ghost; my eyes, instead of being fixed upon my book, wandered in +vacancy. My master observed my inattention, and chid me. The time came +for saying my task, and I had not acquired it. My master reproached me, +and, yet more, he beat me; I felt shame and anger, and I went home with a +full determination to commit the sin against the Holy Ghost. + +"But when I got home my father ordered me to do something connected with +the farm, so that I was compelled to exert myself; I was occupied till +night, and was so busy that I almost forgot the sin and my late +resolution. My work completed, I took my supper, and went to my room; I +began my prayers, and, when they were ended, I thought of the sin, but +the temptation was slight, I felt very tired, and was presently asleep. + +"Thus, you see, I had plenty of time allotted me by a gracious and kind +God to reflect on what I was about to do. He did not permit the enemy of +souls to take me by surprise, and to hurry me at once into the commission +of that which was to be my ruin here and hereafter. Whatever I did was +of my own free will, after I had had time to reflect. Thus God is +justified; He had no hand in my destruction, but, on the contrary, He did +all that was compatible with justice to prevent it. I hasten to the +fatal moment. Awaking in the night, I determined that nothing should +prevent my committing the sin. Arising from my bed, I went out upon the +wooden gallery; and having stood for a few moments looking at the stars, +with which the heavens were thickly strewn, I laid myself down, and +supporting my face with my hand, I murmured out words of horror, words +not to be repeated, and in this manner I committed the sin against the +Holy Ghost. + +"When the words were uttered I sat up upon the topmost step of the +gallery; for some time I felt stunned in somewhat the same manner as I +once subsequently felt after being stung by an adder. I soon arose, +however, and retired to my bed, where, notwithstanding what I had done, I +was not slow in falling asleep. + +"I awoke several times during the night, each time with the dim idea that +something strange and monstrous had occurred, but I presently fell asleep +again; in the morning I awoke with the same vague feeling, but presently +recollection returned, and I remembered that I had committed the sin +against the Holy Ghost. I lay musing for some time on what I had done, +and I felt rather stunned, as before; at last I arose and got out of bed, +dressed myself, and then went down on my knees, and was about to pray +from the force of mechanical habit; before I said a word, however, I +recollected myself, and got up again. What was the use of praying? I +thought; I had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost. + +"I went to school, but sat stupefied. I was again chidden, again beaten +by my master. I felt no anger this time, and scarcely heeded the +strokes. I looked, however, at my master's face, and thought to myself, +You are beating me for being idle, as you suppose; poor man, what would +you do if you knew I had committed the sin against the Holy Ghost? + +"Days and weeks passed by. I had once been cheerful, and fond of the +society of children of my own age; but I was now reserved and gloomy. It +seemed to me that a gulf separated me from all my fellow-creatures. I +used to look at my brothers and schoolfellows, and think how different I +was from them; they had not done what I had. I seemed, in my own eyes, a +lone monstrous being, and yet, strange to say, I felt a kind of pride in +being so. I was unhappy, but I frequently thought to myself, I have done +what no one else would dare to do; there was something grand in the idea; +I had yet to learn the horror of my condition. + +"Time passed on, and I began to think less of what I had done; I began +once more to take pleasure in my childish sports; I was active, and +excelled at football and the like all the lads of my age. I likewise +began, what I had never done before, to take pleasure in the exercises of +the school. I made great progress in Welsh and English grammar, and +learnt to construe Latin. My master no longer chid or beat me, but one +day told my father that he had no doubt that one day I should be an +honour to Wales. + +"Shortly after this my father fell sick; the progress of the disorder was +rapid; feeling his end approaching, he called his children before him. +After tenderly embracing us, he said, 'God bless you, my children; I am +going from you, but take comfort, I trust that we shall all meet again in +heaven.' + +"As he uttered these last words, horror took entire possession of me. +Meet my father in heaven,--how could I ever hope to meet him there? I +looked wildly at my brethren and at my mother; they were all bathed in +tears, but how I envied them. They might hope to meet my father in +heaven, but how different were they from me, they had never committed the +unpardonable sin. + +"In a few days my father died; he left his family in comfortable +circumstances, at least such as would be considered so in Wales, where +the wants of the people are few. My elder brother carried on the farm +for the benefit of my mother and us all. In course of time my brothers +were put out to various trades. I still remained at school, but without +being a source of expense to my relations, as I was by this time able to +assist my master in the business of the school. + +"I was diligent both in self-improvement and in the instruction of +others; nevertheless, a horrible weight pressed upon my breast; I knew I +was a lost being; that for me there was no hope; that, though all others +might be saved, I must of necessity be lost: I had committed the +unpardonable sin, for which I was doomed to eternal punishment, in the +flaming gulf, as soon as life was over!--and how long could I hope to +live? perhaps fifty years; at the end of which I must go to my place; and +then I would count the months and the days, nay, even the hours which yet +intervened between me and my doom. Sometimes I would comfort myself with +the idea that a long time would elapse before my time would be out; but +then again I thought that, however long the term might be, it must be out +at last; and then I would fall into an agony, during which I would almost +wish that the term were out, and that I were in my place; the horrors of +which I thought could scarcely be worse than what I then endured. + +"There was one thought about this time which caused me unutterable grief +and shame, perhaps more shame than grief. It was that my father, who was +gone to heaven, and was there daily holding communion with his God, was +by this time aware of my crime. I imagined him looking down from the +clouds upon his wretched son, with a countenance of inexpressible horror. +When this idea was upon me, I would often rush to some secret place to +hide myself; to some thicket, where I would cast myself on the ground, +and thrust my head into a thick bush, in order to escape from the horror- +struck glance of my father above in the clouds; and there I would +continue groaning till the agony had, in some degree, passed away. + +"The wretchedness of my state increasing daily, it at last became +apparent to the master of the school, who questioned me earnestly and +affectionately. I, however, gave him no satisfactory answer, being +apprehensive that, if I unbosomed myself, I should become as much an +object of horror to him as I had long been to myself. At length he +suspected that I was unsettled in my intellects; and, fearing probably +the ill effect of my presence upon his scholars, he advised me to go +home; which I was glad to do, as I felt myself every day becoming less +qualified for the duties of the office which I had undertaken. + +"So I returned home to my mother and my brother, who received me with the +greatest kindness and affection. I now determined to devote myself to +husbandry, and assist my brother in the business of the farm. I was +still, however, very much distressed. One fine morning, however, as I +was at work in the field, and the birds were carolling around me, a ray +of hope began to break upon my poor dark soul. I looked at the earth and +looked at the sky, and felt as I had not done for many a year; presently +a delicious feeling stole over me. I was beginning to enjoy existence. I +shall never forget that hour. I flung myself on the soil, and kissed it; +then, springing up with a sudden impulse, I rushed into the depths of a +neighbouring wood, and, falling upon my knees, did what I had not done +for a long, long time--prayed to God. + +"A change, an entire change, seemed to have come over me. I was no +longer gloomy and despairing, but gay and happy. My slumbers were light +and easy; not disturbed, as before, by frightful dreams. I arose with +the lark, and like him uttered a cheerful song of praise to God, +frequently and earnestly, and was particularly cautious not to do +anything which I considered might cause His displeasure. + +"At church I was constant, and when there listened with deepest attention +to every word which proceeded from the mouth of the minister. In a +little time it appeared to me that I had become a good, very good young +man. At times the recollection of the sin would return, and I would feel +a momentary chill; but the thought quickly vanished, and I again felt +happy and secure. + +"One Sunday morning, after I had said my prayers, I felt particularly +joyous. I thought of the innocent and virtuous life I was leading; and +when the recollection of the sin intruded for a moment, I said, 'I am +sure God will never utterly cast away so good a creature as myself.' I +went to church, and was as usual attentive. The subject of the sermon +was on the duty of searching the Scriptures: all I knew of them was from +the Liturgy. I now, however, determined to read them, and perfect the +good work which I had begun. My father's Bible was upon the shelf, and +on that evening I took it with me to my chamber. I placed it on the +table, and sat down. My heart was filled with pleasing anticipation. I +opened the book at random, and began to read; the first passage on which +my eyes lighted was the following:-- + +"'He who committeth the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven, +either in this world or the next.'" + +Here Peter was seized with convulsive tremors. Winifred sobbed +violently. I got up, and went away. Returning in about a quarter of an +hour, I found him more calm; he motioned me to sit down; and, after a +short pause, continued his narration. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXVI + + +Hasty Farewell--Lofty Rock--Wrestlings of Jacob--No Rest--Ways of +Providence--Two Females--Foot of the Cross--Enemy of +Souls--Perplexed--Lucky Hour--Valetudinarian--Methodists--Fervent in +Prayer--You Saxons--Weak Creatures--Very Agreeable--Almost Happy--Kindness +and Solicitude. + +"Where was I, young man? Oh, I remember, at the fatal passage which +removed all hope. I will not dwell on what I felt. I closed my eyes, +and wished that I might be dreaming; but it was no dream, but a terrific +reality: I will not dwell on that period, I should only shock you. I +could not bear my feelings; so, bidding my friends a hasty farewell, I +abandoned myself to horror and despair, and ran wild through Wales, +climbing mountains and wading streams. + +"Climbing mountains and wading streams, I ran wild about, I was burnt by +the sun, drenched by the rain, and had frequently at night no other +covering than the sky, or the humid roof of some cave; but nothing seemed +to affect my constitution; probably the fire which burned within me +counteracted what I suffered from without. During the space of three +years I scarcely knew what befell me; my life was a dream--a wild, +horrible dream; more than once I believe I was in the hands of robbers, +and once in the hands of Gypsies. I liked the last description of people +least of all; I could not abide their yellow faces, or their ceaseless +clabber. Escaping from these beings, whose countenances and godless +discourse brought to my mind the demons of the deep Unknown, I still ran +wild through Wales, I know not how long. On one occasion, coming in some +degree to my recollection, I felt myself quite unable to bear the horrors +of my situation; looking round, I found myself near the sea; instantly +the idea came into my head that I would cast myself into it, and thus +anticipate my final doom. I hesitated a moment, but a voice within me +seemed to tell me that I could do no better; the sea was near, and I +could not swim, so I determined to fling myself into the sea. As I was +running along at great speed, in the direction of a lofty rock, which +beetled over the waters, I suddenly felt myself seized by the coat. I +strove to tear myself away, but in vain; looking round, I perceived a +venerable hale old man, who had hold of me. 'Let me go!' said I, +fiercely. 'I will not let thee go,' said the old man, and now instead of +with one, he grappled me with both hands. 'In whose name dost thou +detain me?' said I, scarcely knowing what I said. 'In the name of my +Master, who made thee and yonder sea; and has said to the sea, so far +shalt thou come, and no farther, and to thee, thou shalt do no murder.' +'Has not a man a right to do what he pleases with his own?' said I. 'He +has,' said the old man, 'but thy life is not thy own; thou art +accountable for it to thy God. Nay, I will not let thee go,' he +continued, as I again struggled; 'if thou struggle with me the whole day +I will not let thee go, as Charles Wesley says, in his "Wrestlings of +Jacob"; and see, it is of no use struggling, for I am, in the strength of +my Master, stronger than thou;' and, indeed, all of a sudden I had become +very weak and exhausted; whereupon the old man, beholding my situation, +took me by the arm and led me gently to a neighbouring town, which stood +behind a hill, and which I had not before observed; presently he opened +the door of a respectable-looking house, which stood beside a large +building having the appearance of a chapel, and conducted me into a small +room, with a great many books in it. Having caused me to sit down, he +stood looking at me for some time, occasionally heaving a sigh. I was, +indeed, haggard and forlorn. 'Who art thou?' he said at last. 'A +miserable man,' I replied. 'What makes thee miserable?' said the old +man. 'A hideous crime,' I replied. 'I can find no rest; like Cain I +wander here and there.' The old man turned pale. 'Hast thou taken +another's life?' said he; 'if so, I advise thee to surrender thyself to +the magistrate; thou canst do no better; thy doing so will be the best +proof of thy repentance; and though there be no hope for thee in this +world there may be much in the next.' 'No,' said I, 'I have never taken +another's life.' 'What then, another's goods? If so, restore them seven- +fold, if possible: or, if it be not in thy power, and thy conscience +accuse thee, surrender thyself to the magistrate, and make the only +satisfaction thou art able.' 'I have taken no one's goods,' said I. 'Of +what art thou guilty, then?' said he. 'Art thou a drunkard? a +profligate?' 'Alas, no,' said I; 'I am neither of these; would that I +were no worse.' + +"Thereupon the old man looked steadfastly at me for some time; then, +after appearing to reflect, he said, 'Young man, I have a great desire to +know your name.' 'What matters it to you what is my name?' said I; 'you +know nothing of me.' 'Perhaps you are mistaken,' said the old man, +looking kindly at me; 'but at all events tell me your name.' I hesitated +a moment, and then told him who I was, whereupon he exclaimed with much +emotion, 'I thought so; how wonderful are the ways of Providence. I have +heard of thee, young man, and know thy mother well. Only a month ago, +when upon a journey, I experienced much kindness from her. She was +speaking to me of her lost child, with tears; she told me that you were +one of the best of sons, but that some strange idea appeared to have +occupied your mind. Despair not, my son. If thou hast been afflicted, I +doubt not but that thy affliction will eventually turn out to thy +benefit; I doubt not but that thou wilt be preserved, as an example of +the great mercy of God. I will now kneel down and pray for thee, my +son.' + +"He knelt down, and prayed long and fervently. I remained standing for +some time; at length I knelt down likewise. I scarcely knew what he was +saying, but when he concluded I said 'Amen.' + +"And when we had risen from our knees, the old man left me for a short +time, and on his return led me into another room, where were two females; +one was an elderly person, the wife of the old man,--the other was a +young woman of very prepossessing appearance (hang not down thy head, +Winifred), who I soon found was a distant relation of the old man,--both +received me with great kindness, the old man having doubtless previously +told them who I was. + +"I staid several days in the good man's house. I had still the greater +portion of a small sum which I happened to have about me when I departed +on my dolorous wandering, and with this I purchased clothes, and altered +my appearance considerably. On the evening of the second day, my friend +said, 'I am going to preach, perhaps you will come and hear me.' I +consented, and we all went, not to a church, but to the large building +next the house,--for the old man, though a clergyman, was not of the +established persuasion,--and there the old man mounted a pulpit, and +began to preach. 'Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,' +etc. etc., was his text. His sermon was long, but I still bear the +greater portion of it in my mind. + +"The substance of it was that Jesus was at all times ready to take upon +Himself the burden of our sins, provided we came to Him with a humble and +contrite spirit, and begged His help. This doctrine was new to me; I had +often been at church, but had never heard it preached before, at least so +distinctly. When he said that all men might be saved, I shook, for I +expected he would add, all except those who had committed the mysterious +sin; but no, all men were to be saved who with a humble and contrite +spirit would come to Jesus, cast themselves at the foot of His cross, and +accept pardon through the merits of His blood-shedding alone. 'Therefore, +my friends,' said he, in conclusion, 'despair not--however guilty you may +be, despair not--however desperate your condition may seem,' said he, +fixing his eyes upon me, 'despair not. There is nothing more foolish and +more wicked than despair; overweening confidence is not more foolish than +despair; both are the favourite weapons of the enemy of souls.' + +"This discourse gave rise in my mind to no slight perplexity. I had read +in the Scriptures that he who committeth a certain sin shall never be +forgiven, and that there is no hope for him either in this world or the +next. And here was a man, a good man certainly, and one who, of +necessity, was thoroughly acquainted with the Scriptures, who told me +that any one might be forgiven, however wicked, who would only trust in +Christ and in the merits of His blood-shedding. Did I believe in Christ? +Ay, truly. Was I willing to be saved by Christ? Ay, truly. Did I trust +in Christ? I trusted that Christ would save every one but myself. And +why not myself? simply because the Scriptures had told me that he who has +committed the sin against the Holy Ghost can never be saved, and I had +committed the sin against the Holy Ghost,--perhaps the only one who ever +had committed it. How could I hope? The Scriptures could not lie, and +yet here was this good old man, profoundly versed in the Scriptures, who +bade me hope; would he lie? No. But did the old man know my case? Ah, +no, he did not know my case! but yet he had bid me hope, whatever I had +done, provided I would go to Jesus. But how could I think of going to +Jesus, when the Scriptures told me plainly that all would be useless? I +was perplexed, and yet a ray of hope began to dawn in my soul. I thought +of consulting the good man, but I was afraid he would drive away the +small glimmer. I was afraid he would say, 'Oh yes, every one is to be +saved, except a wretch like you; I was not aware before that there was +anything so horrible,--begone!' Once or twice the old man questioned me +on the subject of my misery, but I evaded him; once, indeed, when he +looked particularly benevolent, I think I should have unbosomed myself to +him, but we were interrupted. He never pressed me much; perhaps he was +delicate in probing my mind, as we were then of different persuasions. +Hence he advised me to seek the advice of some powerful minister in my +own Church; there were many such in it, he said. + +"I staid several days in the family, during which time I more than once +heard my venerable friend preach; each time he preached, he exhorted his +hearers not to despair. The whole family were kind to me; his wife +frequently discoursed with me, and also the young person to whom I have +already alluded. It appeared to me that the latter took a peculiar +interest in my fate. + +"At last my friend said to me, 'It is now time thou shouldest return to +thy mother and thy brother.' So I arose, and departed to my mother and +my brother; and at my departure my old friend gave me his blessing, and +his wife and the young person shed tears, the last especially. And when +my mother saw me, she shed tears, and fell on my neck and kissed me, and +my brother took me by the hand and bade me welcome; and when our first +emotions were subsided, my mother said, 'I trust thou art come in a lucky +hour. A few weeks ago my cousin (whose favourite thou always wast) died +and left thee his heir--left thee the goodly farm in which he lived. I +trust, my son, that thou wilt now settle, and be a comfort to me in my +old days.' And I answered, 'I will, if so please the Lord;' and I said +to myself, 'God grant that this bequest be a token of the Lord's favour.' + +"And in a few days I departed to take possession of my farm; it was about +twenty miles from my mother's house, in a beautiful but rather wild +district; I arrived at the fall of the leaf. All day long I busied +myself with my farm, and thus kept my mind employed. At night, however, +I felt rather solitary, and I frequently wished for a companion. Each +night and morning I prayed fervently unto the Lord; for His hand had been +very heavy upon me, and I feared Him. + +"There was one thing connected with my new abode, which gave me +considerable uneasiness--the want of spiritual instruction. There was a +church, indeed, close at hand, in which service was occasionally +performed, but in so hurried and heartless a manner that I derived little +benefit from it. The clergyman to whom the benefice belonged was a +valetudinarian, who passed his time in London, or at some watering-place, +entrusting the care of his flock to the curate of a distant parish, who +gave himself very little trouble about the matter. Now I wanted every +Sunday to hear from the pulpit words of consolation and encouragement, +similar to those which I had heard uttered from the pulpit by my good and +venerable friend, but I was debarred from this privilege. At length, one +day being in conversation with one of my labourers, a staid and serious +man, I spoke to him of the matter which lay heavy upon my mind; +whereupon, looking me wistfully in the face, he said, 'Master, the want +of religious instruction in my church was what drove me to the +Methodists.' 'The Methodists,' said I; 'are there any in these parts?' +'There is a chapel,' said he, 'only half a mile distant, at which there +are two services every Sunday, and other two during the week.' Now it +happened that my venerable friend was of the Methodist persuasion, and +when I heard the poor man talk in this manner, I said to him, 'May I go +with you next Sunday?' 'Why not?' said he; so I went with the labourer +on the ensuing Sabbath to the meeting of the Methodists. + +"I liked the preaching which I heard at the chapel very well, though it +was not quite so comfortable as that of my old friend, the preacher being +in some respects a different kind of man. It, however, did me good, and +I went again, and continued to do so, though I did not become a regular +member of the body at that time. + +"I had now the benefit of religious instruction, and also to a certain +extent of religious fellowship, for the preacher and various members of +his flock frequently came to see me. They were honest plain men, not +exactly of the description which I wished for, but still good sort of +people, and I was glad to see them. Once on a time, when some of them +were with me, one of them inquired whether I was fervent in prayer. 'Very +fervent,' said I. 'And do you read the Scriptures often?' said he. 'No,' +said I. 'Why not?' said he. 'Because I am afraid to see there my own +condemnation.' They looked at each other, and said nothing at the time. +On leaving me, however, they all advised me to read the Scriptures with +fervency and prayer. + +"As I had told these honest people, I shrank from searching the +Scriptures; the remembrance of the fatal passage was still too vivid in +my mind to permit me. I did not wish to see my condemnation repeated, +but I was very fervent in prayer, and almost hoped that God would yet +forgive me by virtue of the blood-shedding of the Lamb. Time passed on, +my affairs prospered, and I enjoyed a certain portion of tranquillity. +Occasionally, when I had nothing else to do, I renewed my studies. Many +is the book I read, especially in my native language, for I was always +fond of my native language, and proud of being a Welshman. Amongst the +books I read were the odes of the great Ab Gwilym, whom thou, friend, +hast never heard of; no, nor any of thy countrymen, for you are an +ignorant race, you Saxons, at least with respect to all that relates to +Wales and Welshmen. I likewise read the book of Master Ellis Wyn. The +latter work possessed a singular fascination for me, on account of its +wonderful delineations of the torments of the nether world. + +"But man does not love to be alone; indeed, the Scripture says that it is +not good for man to be alone. I occupied my body with the pursuits of +husbandry, and I improved my mind with the perusal of good and wise +books; but, as I have already said, I frequently sighed for a companion +with whom I could exchange ideas, and who could take an interest in my +pursuits; the want of such a one I more particularly felt in the long +winter evenings. It was then that the image of the young person whom I +had seen in the house of the preacher frequently rose up distinctly +before my mind's eye, decked with quiet graces--hang not down your head, +Winifred--and I thought that of all the women in the world I should wish +her to be my partner, and then I considered whether it would be possible +to obtain her. I am ready to acknowledge, friend, that it was both +selfish and wicked in me to wish to fetter any human being to a lost +creature like myself, conscious of having committed a crime for which the +Scriptures told me there is no pardon. I had, indeed, a long struggle as +to whether I should make the attempt or not--selfishness, however, +prevailed. I will not detain your attention with relating all that +occurred at this period--suffice it to say that I made my suit and was +successful; it is true that the old man, who was her guardian, hesitated, +and asked several questions respecting my state of mind. I am afraid +that I partly deceived him, perhaps he partly deceived himself; he was +pleased that I had adopted his profession--we are all weak creatures. +With respect to the young person, she did not ask many questions; and I +soon found that I had won her heart. To be brief, I married her; and +here she is, the truest wife that ever man had, and the kindest. Kind I +may well call her, seeing that she shrinks not from me, who so cruelly +deceived her, in not telling her at first what I was. I married her, +friend; and brought her home to my little possession, where we passed our +time very agreeably. Our affairs prospered, our garners were full, and +there was coin in our purse. I worked in the field; Winifred busied +herself with the dairy. At night I frequently read books to her, books +of my own country, friend; I likewise read to her songs of my own, holy +songs and carols which she admired, and which yourself would perhaps +admire, could you understand them; but I repeat, you Saxons are an +ignorant people with respect to us, and a perverse, inasmuch as you +despise Welsh without understanding it. Every night I prayed fervently, +and my wife admired my gift of prayer. + +"One night, after I had been reading to my wife a portion of Ellis Wyn, +my wife said, 'This is a wonderful book, and containing much true and +pleasant doctrine; but how is it that you, who are so fond of good books, +and good things in general, never read the Bible? You read me the book +of Master Ellis Wyn, you read me sweet songs of your own composition, you +edify me with your gift of prayer, but yet you never read the Bible.' And +when I heard her mention the Bible I shook, for I thought of my own +condemnation. However, I dearly loved my wife, and as she pressed me, I +commenced on that very night reading the Bible. All went on smoothly for +a long time; for months and months I did not find the fatal passage, so +that I almost thought that I had imagined it. My affairs prospered much +the while, so that I was almost happy,--taking pleasure in everything +around me,--in my wife, in my farm, my books and compositions, and the +Welsh language; till one night, as I was reading the Bible, feeling +particularly comfortable, a thought having just come into my head that I +would print some of my compositions, and purchase a particular field of a +neighbour--O God--God! I came to the fatal passage. + +"Friend, friend, what shall I say? I rushed out. My wife followed me, +asking me what was the matter. I could only answer with groans--for +three days and three nights I did little else than groan. Oh, the +kindness and solicitude of my wife! 'What is the matter, husband, dear +husband?' she was continually saying. I became at last more calm. My +wife still persisted in asking me the cause of my late paroxysm. It is +hard to keep a secret from a wife, especially such a wife as mine, so I +told my wife the tale, as we sat one night--it was a mid-winter +night--over the dying brands of our hearth, after the family had retired +to rest, her hand locked in mine, even as it is now. + +"I thought she would have shrunk from me with horror; but she did not; +her hand, it is true, trembled once or twice; but that was all. At last +she gave mine a gentle pressure; and, looking up in my face, she +said--what do you think my wife said, young man?" + +"It is impossible for me to guess," said I. + +"'Let us go to rest, my love; your fears are all groundless.'" + + + + +CHAPTER LXXVII + + +Getting Late--Seven Years Old--Chastening--Go Forth--London Bridge--Same +Eyes--Common Occurrence--Very Sleepy. + +"And so I still say," said Winifred, sobbing. "Let us retire to rest, +dear husband; your fears are groundless. I had hoped long since that +your affliction would have passed away, and I still hope that it +eventually will; so take heart, Peter, and let us retire to rest, for it +is getting late." + +"Rest!" said Peter; "there is no rest for the wicked!" + +"We are all wicked," said Winifred; "but you are afraid of a shadow. How +often have I told you that the sin of your heart is not the sin against +the Holy Ghost: the sin of your heart is its natural pride, of which you +are scarcely aware, to keep down which God in His mercy permitted you to +be terrified with the idea of having committed a sin which you never +committed." + +"Then you will still maintain," said Peter, "that I never committed the +sin against the Holy Spirit?" + +"I will," said Winifred; "you never committed it. How should a child +seven years old commit a sin like that?" + +"Have I not read my own condemnation?" said Peter. "Did not the first +words which I read in the Holy Scripture condemn me? 'He who committeth +the sin against the Holy Ghost shall never enter into the kingdom of +God.'" + +"You never committed it," said Winifred. + +"But the words! the words! the words!" said Peter. + +"The words are true words," said Winifred, sobbing; "but they were not +meant for you, but for those who have broken their profession, who, +having embraced the cross, have receded from their Master." + +"And what sayst thou to the effect which the words produced upon me?" +said Peter. "Did they not cause me to run wild through Wales for years, +like Merddin Wyllt of yore; thinkest thou that I opened the book at that +particular passage by chance?" + +"No," said Winifred, "not by chance; it was the hand of God directed you, +doubtless for some wise purpose. You had become satisfied with yourself. +The Lord wished to rouse thee from thy state of carnal security, and +therefore directed your eyes to that fearful passage." + +"Does the Lord then carry out His designs by means of guile?" said Peter, +with a groan. "Is not the Lord true? Would the Lord impress upon me +that I had committed a sin of which I am guiltless? Hush, Winifred! +hush! thou knowest that I have committed the sin." + +"Thou hast not committed it," said Winifred, sobbing yet more violently. +"Were they my last words, I would persist that thou hast not committed +it, though, perhaps, thou wouldst, but for this chastening; it was not to +convince thee that thou hast committed the sin, but rather to prevent +thee from committing it, that the Lord brought that passage before thy +eyes. He is not to blame, if thou art wilfully blind to the truth and +wisdom of His ways." + +"I see thou wouldst comfort me," said Peter, "as thou hast often before +attempted to do. I would fain ask the young man his opinion." + +"I have not yet heard the whole of your history," said I. + +"My story is nearly told," said Peter; "a few words will complete it. My +wife endeavoured to console and reassure me, using the arguments which +you have just heard her use, and many others, but in vain. Peace nor +comfort came to my breast. I was rapidly falling into the depths of +despair; when one day Winifred said to me, 'I see thou wilt be lost, if +we remain here. One resource only remains. Thou must go forth, my +husband, into the wide world, and to comfort thee I will go with thee.' +'And what can I do in the wide world?' said I, despondingly. 'Much,' +replied Winifred, 'if you will but exert yourself; much good canst thou +do with the blessing of God.' Many things of the same kind she said to +me; and at last I arose from the earth to which God had smitten me, and +disposed of my property in the best way I could, and went into the world. +We did all the good we were able, visiting the sick, ministering to the +sick, and praying with the sick. At last I became celebrated as the +possessor of a great gift of prayer. And people urged me to preach, and +Winifred urged me too, and at last I consented, and I preached. +I--I--outcast Peter, became the preacher Peter Williams. I, the lost +one, attempted to show others the right road. And in this way I have +gone on for thirteen years, preaching and teaching, visiting the sick, +and ministering to them, with Winifred by my side heartening me on. +Occasionally I am visited with fits of indescribable agony, generally on +the night before the Sabbath; for I then ask myself, how dare I, the +outcast, attempt to preach the word of God? Young man, my tale is told; +you seem in thought!" + +"I am thinking of London Bridge," said I. + +"Of London Bridge!" said Peter and his wife. + +"Yes," said I, "of London Bridge. I am indebted for much wisdom to +London Bridge; it was there that I completed my studies. But to the +point. I was once reading on London Bridge a book which an ancient +gentlewoman, who kept the bridge, was in the habit of lending me; and +there I found written, 'Each one carries in his breast the recollection +of some sin which presses heavy upon him. O! if men could but look into +each other's hearts, what blackness would they find there!'" + +"That's true," said Peter. "What is the name of the book?" + +"'The Life of Blessed Mary Flanders.'" + +"Some popish saint, I suppose," said Peter. + +"As much of a saint, I dare say," said I, "as most popish ones; but you +interrupted me. One part of your narrative brought the passage which I +have quoted into my mind. You said that after you had committed this +same sin of yours you were in the habit, at school, of looking upon your +schoolfellows with a kind of gloomy superiority, considering yourself a +lone monstrous being who had committed a sin far above the daring of any +of them. Are you sure that many others of your schoolfellows were not +looking upon you and the others with much the same eyes with which you +were looking upon them?" + +"How!" said Peter, "dost thou think that they had divined my secret?" + +"Not they," said I; "they were, I dare say, thinking too much of +themselves and of their own concerns to have divined any secrets of +yours. All I mean to say is, they had probably secrets of their own, and +who knows that the secret sin of more than one of them was not the very +sin which caused you so much misery?" + +"Dost thou then imagine," said Peter, "the sin against the Holy Ghost to +be so common an occurrence?" + +"As you have described it," said I, "of very common occurrence, +especially amongst children, who are, indeed, the only beings likely to +commit it." + +"Truly," said Winifred, "the young man talks wisely." + +Peter was silent for some moments, and appeared to be reflecting; at +last, suddenly raising his head, he looked me full in the face, and, +grasping my hand with vehemence, he said, "Tell me, young man, only one +thing, hast thou, too, committed the sin against the Holy Ghost?" + +"I am neither Papist, nor Methodist," said I, "but of the Church, and, +being so, confess myself to no one, but keep my own counsel; I will tell +thee, however, had I committed, at the same age, twenty such sins as that +which you committed, I should feel no uneasiness at these years--but I am +sleepy, and must go to rest." + +"God bless thee, young man," said Winifred. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXVIII + + +Low and Calm--Much Better--Blessed Effect--No Answer--Such a Sermon. + +Before I sank to rest I heard Winifred and her husband conversing in the +place where I had left them; both their voices were low and calm. I soon +fell asleep, and slumbered for some time. On my awakening I again heard +them conversing, but they were now in their cart; still the voices of +both were calm. I heard no passionate bursts of wild despair on the part +of the man. Methought I occasionally heard the word Pechod proceeding +from the lips of each, but with no particular emphasis. I supposed they +were talking of the innate sin of both their hearts. + +"I wish that man were happy," said I to myself, "were it only for his +wife's sake, and yet he deserves to be happy for his own." + +The next day Peter was very cheerful, more cheerful than I had ever seen +him. At breakfast his conversation was animated, and he smiled +repeatedly. I looked at him with the greatest interest, and the eyes of +his wife were almost constantly fixed upon him. A shade of gloom would +occasionally come over his countenance, but it almost instantly +disappeared; perhaps it proceeded more from habit than anything else. +After breakfast he took his Welsh Bible and sat down beneath a tree. His +eyes were soon fixed intently on the volume; now and then he would call +his wife, show her some passage, and appeared to consult with her. The +day passed quickly and comfortably. + +"Your husband seems much better," said I, at evening-fall, to Winifred, +as we chanced to be alone. + +"He does," said Winifred; "and that on the day of the week when he was +wont to appear most melancholy, for to-morrow is the Sabbath. He now no +longer looks forward to the Sabbath with dread, but appears to reckon on +it. What a happy change! and to think that this change should have been +produced by a few words, seemingly careless ones, proceeding from the +mouth of one who is almost a stranger to him. Truly, it is wonderful." + +"To whom do you allude," said I, "and to what words?" + +"To yourself, and to the words which came from your lips last night, +after you had heard my poor husband's history. Those strange words, +drawn out with so much seeming indifference, have produced in my husband +the blessed effect which you have observed. They have altered the +current of his ideas. He no longer thinks himself the only being in the +world doomed to destruction,--the only being capable of committing the +never-to-be-forgiven sin. Your supposition that that which harrowed his +soul is of frequent occurrence amongst children, has tranquillised him; +the mist which hung over his mind has cleared away, and he begins to see +the groundlessness of his apprehensions. The Lord has permitted him to +be chastened for a season, but his lamp will only burn the brighter for +what he has undergone." + +Sunday came, fine and glorious as the last. Again my friends and myself +breakfasted together--again the good family of the house on the hill +above, headed by the respectable master, descended to the meadow. Peter +and his wife were ready to receive them. Again Peter placed himself at +the side of the honest farmer, and Winifred by the side of her friend. +"Wilt thou not come?" said Peter, looking towards me with a face in which +there was much emotion. "Wilt thou not come?" said Winifred, with a face +beaming with kindness. But I made no answer, and presently the party +moved away, in the same manner in which it had moved on the preceding +Sabbath, and I was again left alone. + +The hours of the Sabbath passed slowly away. I sat gazing at the sky, +the trees, and the water. At last I strolled up to the house and sat +down in the porch. It was empty; there was no modest maiden there, as on +the preceding Sabbath. The damsel of the book had accompanied the rest. +I had seen her in the procession, and the house appeared quite deserted. +The owners had probably left it to my custody, so I sat down in the +porch, quite alone. The hours of the Sabbath passed heavily away. + +At last evening came, and with it the party of the morning. I was now at +my place beneath the oak. I went forward to meet them. Peter and his +wife received me with a calm and quiet greeting, and passed forward. The +rest of the party had broke into groups. There was a kind of excitement +amongst them, and much eager whispering. I went to one of the groups; +the young girl of whom I have spoken more than once, was speaking: "Such +a sermon," said she, "it has never been our lot to hear; Peter never +before spoke as he has done this day--he was always a powerful preacher, +but oh, the unction of the discourse of this morning, and yet more of +that of the afternoon, which was the continuation of it!" "What was the +subject?" said I, interrupting her. "Ah! you should have been there, +young man, to have heard it; it would have made a lasting impression upon +you. I was bathed in tears all the time; those who heard it will never +forget the preaching of the good Peter Williams on the Power, Providence, +and Goodness of God." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXIX + + +Deep Interest--Goodly Country--Two Mansions--Welshman's Candle--Beautiful +Universe--Godly Discourse--Fine Church--Points of Doctrine--Strange +Adventures--Paltry Cause--Roman Pontiff--Evil Spirit. + +On the morrow I said to my friends, "I am about to depart; farewell!" +"Depart!" said Peter and his wife, simultaneously; "whither wouldst thou +go?" "I can't stay here all my days," I replied. "Of course not," said +Peter; "but we had no idea of losing thee so soon: we had almost hoped +that thou wouldst join us, become one of us. We are under infinite +obligations to thee." "You mean I am under infinite obligations to you," +said I. "Did you not save my life?" "Perhaps so, under God," said +Peter; "and what hast thou not done for me? Art thou aware that, under +God, thou hast preserved my soul from despair? But, independent of that, +we like thy company, and feel a deep interest in thee, and would fain +teach thee the way that is right. Hearken, to-morrow we go into Wales; +go with us." "I have no wish to go into Wales," said I. "Why not?" said +Peter, with animation. "Wales is a goodly country; as the Scripture +says--a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths, that spring out +of valleys and hills, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose +hills thou mayest dig _lead_." + +"I dare say it is a very fine country," said I, "but I have no wish to go +there just now; my destiny seems to point in another direction, to say +nothing of my trade." "Thou dost right to say nothing of thy trade," +said Peter, smiling, "for thou seemest to care nothing about it; which +has led Winifred and myself to suspect that thou art not altogether what +thou seemest; but, setting that aside, we should be most happy if thou +wouldst go with us into Wales." "I cannot promise to go with you into +Wales," said I; "but, as you depart to-morrow, I will stay with you +through the day, and on the morrow accompany you part of the way." "Do," +said Peter: "I have many people to see to-day, and so has Winifred; but +we will both endeavour to have some serious discourse with thee, which, +perhaps, will turn to thy profit in the end." + +In the course of the day the good Peter came to me, as I was seated +beneath the oak, and, placing himself by me, commenced addressing me in +the following manner:-- + +"I have no doubt, my young friend, that you are willing to admit, that +the most important thing which a human being possesses is his soul; it is +of infinitely more importance than the body, which is a frail substance, +and cannot last for many years; but not so the soul, which, by its +nature, is imperishable. To one of two mansions the soul is destined to +depart, after its separation from the body, to heaven or hell; to the +halls of eternal bliss, where God and His holy angels dwell, or to the +place of endless misery, inhabited by Satan and his grisly companions. My +friend, if the joys of heaven are great, unutterably great, so are the +torments of hell unutterably so. I wish not to speak of them, I wish not +to terrify your imagination with the torments of hell: indeed, I like not +to think of them; but it is necessary to speak of them sometimes, and to +think of them sometimes, lest you should sink into a state of carnal +security. Authors, friend, and learned men, are not altogether agreed as +to the particulars of hell. They all agree, however, in considering it a +place of exceeding horror. Master Ellis Wyn, who by the bye was a +churchman, calls it, amongst other things, a place of strong sighs, and +of flaming sparks. Master Rees Pritchard, {238} who was not only a +churchman, but Vicar of Llandovery, and flourished about two hundred +years ago--I wish many like him flourished now--speaking of hell, in his +collection of sweet hymns, called the 'Welshman's Candle,' observes, + +"'The pool is continually blazing; it is very deep, without any known +bottom, and the walls are so high, that there is neither hope nor +possibility of escaping over them.' + +"But, as I told you just now, I have no great pleasure in talking of +hell. No, friend, no; I would sooner talk of the other place, and of the +goodness and hospitality of God amongst His saints above." + +And then the excellent man began to dilate upon the joys of heaven, and +the goodness and hospitality of God in the mansions above; explaining to +me, in the clearest way, how I might get there. + +And when he had finished what he had to say, he left me, whereupon +Winifred drew nigh, and sitting down by me, began to address me. "I do +not think," said she, "from what I have observed of thee, that thou +wouldst wish to be ungrateful, and yet, is not thy whole life a series of +ingratitude, and to whom?--to thy Maker. Has He not endowed thee with a +goodly and healthy form; and senses which enable thee to enjoy the +delights of His beautiful universe--the work of His hands? Canst thou +not enjoy, even to rapture, the brightness of the sun, the perfume of the +meads, and the song of the dear birds, which inhabit among the trees? +Yes, thou canst; for I have seen thee, and observed thee doing so. Yet, +during the whole time that I have known thee, I have not heard proceed +from thy lips one single word of praise or thanksgiving to . . ." + +And in this manner the admirable woman proceeded for a considerable time, +and to all her discourse I listened with attention; and when she had +concluded, I took her hand and said, "I thank you," and that was all. + +On the next day everything was ready for our departure. The good family +of the house came to bid us farewell. There were shaking of hands, and +kisses, as on the night of our arrival. + +And as I stood somewhat apart, the young girl of whom I have spoken so +often, came up to me, and holding out her hand, said, "Farewell, young +man, wherever thou goest." Then, after looking around her, she said, "It +was all true you told me. Yesterday I received a letter from him thou +wottest of, he is coming soon. God bless you, young man; who would have +thought thou knewest so much!" + +So, after we had taken our farewell of the good family, we departed, +proceeding in the direction of Wales. Peter was very cheerful, and +enlivened the way with godly discourse and spiritual hymns, some of which +were in the Welsh language. At length I said, "It is a pity that you did +not continue in the Church; you have a turn for psalmody, and I have +heard of a man becoming a bishop by means of a less qualification." + +"Very probably," said Peter; "more the pity. But I have told you the +reason of my forsaking it. Frequently, when I went to the church door, I +found it barred, and the priest absent; what was I to do? My heart was +bursting for want of some religious help and comfort; what could I do? as +good Master Rees Pritchard observes in his 'Candle for Welshmen.' + +"'It is a doleful thing to see little children burning on the hot coals +for want of help; but yet more doleful to see a flock of souls falling +into the burning lake for want of a priest.'" + +"The Church of England is a fine church," said I; "I would not advise any +one to speak ill of the Church of England before me." + +"I have nothing to say against the Church," said Peter; "all I wish is +that it would fling itself a little more open, and that its priests would +a little more bestir themselves; in a word, that it would shoulder the +cross and become a missionary church." + +"It is too proud for that," said Winifred. + +"You are much more of a Methodist," said I, "than your husband. But tell +me," said I, addressing myself to Peter, "do you not differ from the +Church in some points of doctrine? I, of course, as a true member of the +Church, am quite ignorant of the peculiar opinions of wandering +sectaries." + +"Oh, the pride of that Church!" said Winifred, half to herself; +"wandering sectaries!" + +"We differ in no points of doctrine," said Peter; "we believe all the +Church believes, though we are not so fond of vain and superfluous +ceremonies, snow-white neckcloths and surplices, as the Church is. We +likewise think that there is no harm in a sermon by the road-side, or in +holding free discourse with a beggar beneath a hedge, or a tinker," he +added, smiling; "it was those superfluous ceremonies, those surplices and +white neckcloths, and, above all, the necessity of strictly regulating +his words and conversation, which drove John Wesley out of the Church, +and sent him wandering up and down as you see me, poor Welsh Peter, do." + +Nothing farther passed for some time; we were now drawing near the hills: +at last I said, "You must have met with a great many strange adventures +since you took up this course of life?" + +"Many," said Peter, "it has been my lot to meet with; but none more +strange than one which occurred to me only a few weeks ago. You were +asking me, not long since, whether I believed in devils? Ay, truly, +young man; and I believe that the abyss and the yet deeper Unknown do not +contain them all; some walk about upon the green earth. So it happened, +some weeks ago, that I was exercising my ministry about forty miles from +here. I was alone, Winifred being slightly indisposed, staying for a few +days at the house of an acquaintance; I had finished afternoon's +worship--the people had dispersed, and I was sitting solitary by my cart +under some green trees in a quiet retired place; suddenly a voice said to +me, 'Good evening, Pastor'; I looked up, and before me stood a man, at +least the appearance of a man, dressed in a black suit of rather a +singular fashion. He was about my own age, or somewhat older. As I +looked upon him, it appeared to me that I had seen him twice before +whilst preaching. I replied to his salutation, and perceiving that he +looked somewhat fatigued, I took out a stool from the cart, and asked him +to sit down. We began to discourse; I at first supposed that he might be +one of ourselves, some wandering minister; but I was soon undeceived. +Neither his language nor his ideas were those of any one of our body. He +spoke on all kinds of matters with much fluency; till at last he +mentioned my preaching, complimenting me on my powers. I replied, as +well I might, that I could claim no merit of my own, and that if I spoke +with any effect, it was only by the grace of God. As I uttered these +last words, a horrible kind of sneer came over his countenance, which +made me shudder, for there was something diabolical in it. I said little +more, but listened attentively to his discourse. At last he said that I +was engaged in a paltry cause, quite unworthy of one of my powers. 'How +can that be,' said I, 'even if I possessed all the powers in the world, +seeing that I am engaged in the cause of our Lord Jesus?' + +"The same kind of sneer again came on his countenance, but he almost +instantly observed, that if I chose to forsake this same miserable cause, +from which nothing but contempt and privation were to be expected, he +would enlist me into another, from which I might expect both profit and +renown. An idea now came into my head, and I told him firmly, that if he +wished me to forsake my present profession and become a member of the +Church of England, I must absolutely decline; that I had no ill-will +against that Church, but I thought I could do most good in my present +position, which I would not forsake to be Archbishop of Canterbury. +Thereupon he burst into a strange laughter, and went away, repeating to +himself, 'Church of England! Archbishop of Canterbury!' A few days +after, when I was once more in a solitary place, he again appeared before +me, and asked me whether I had thought over his words, and whether I was +willing to enlist under the banners of his master, adding, that he was +eager to secure me, as he conceived that I might be highly useful to the +cause. I then asked him who his master was; he hesitated for a moment, +and then answered, 'The Roman Pontiff.' 'If it be he,' said I, 'I can +have nothing to do with him, I will serve no one who is an enemy of +Christ.' Thereupon he drew near to me, and told me not to talk so much +like a simpleton; that as for Christ, it was probable that no such person +ever existed, but that if he ever did, he was the greatest impostor the +world ever saw. How long he continued in this way I know not, for I now +considered that an evil spirit was before me, and shrank within myself, +shivering in every limb; when I recovered myself and looked about me, he +was gone. Two days after, he again stood before me, in the same place, +and about the same hour, renewing his propositions, and speaking more +horribly than before. I made him no answer; whereupon he continued; but +suddenly hearing a noise behind him, he looked round and beheld Winifred, +who had returned to me on the morning of that day. 'Who are you?' said +he, fiercely. 'This man's wife,' said she, calmly fixing her eyes upon +him. 'Begone from him, unhappy one, thou temptest him in vain.' He made +no answer, but stood as if transfixed: at length recovering himself, he +departed, muttering 'Wife! wife! If the fool has a wife, he will never +do for us.'" + + + + +CHAPTER LXXX + + +The Border--Thank You Both--Pipe and Fiddle--Taliesin. + +We were now drawing very near the hills, and Peter said, "If you are to +go into Wales, you must presently decide, for we are close upon the +border." + +"Which is the border?" said I. + +"Yon small brook," said Peter, "into which the man on horseback who is +coming towards us is now entering." + +"I see it," said I, "and the man; he stops in the middle of it, as if to +water his steed." + +We proceeded till we had nearly reached the brook. "Well," said Peter, +"will you go into Wales?" + +"What should I do in Wales?" I demanded. + +"Do!" said Peter, smiling; "learn Welsh." + +I stopped my little pony. "Then I need not go into Wales; I already know +Welsh." + +"Know Welsh!" said Peter, staring at me. + +"Know Welsh!" said Winifred, stopping her cart. + +"How and when did you learn it?" said Peter. + +"From books, in my boyhood." + +"Read Welsh!" said Peter; "is it possible?" + +"Read Welsh!" said Winifred; "is it possible?" + +"Well, I hope you will come with us," said Peter. + +"Come with us, young man," said Winifred; "let me, on the other side of +the brook, welcome you into Wales." + +"Thank you both," said I, "but I will not come." + +"Wherefore?" exclaimed both, simultaneously. + +"Because it is neither fit nor proper that I cross into Wales at this +time, and in this manner. When I go into Wales, I should wish to go in a +new suit of superfine black, with hat and beaver, {246} mounted on a +powerful steed, black and glossy, like that which bore Greduv to the +fight of Catraeth. I should wish, moreover, to see the Welshmen +assembled on the border ready to welcome me with pipe and fiddle, and +much whooping and shouting, and to attend me to Wrexham, or even as far +as Machynllaith, where I should wish to be invited to a dinner at which +all the bards should be present, and to be seated at the right hand of +the president, who, when the cloth was removed, should arise, and, amidst +cries of silence, exclaim--'Brethren and Welshmen, allow me to propose +the health of my most respectable friend the translator of the odes of +the great Ab Gwilym, the pride and glory of Wales.'" + +"How!" said Peter, "hast thou translated the works of the mighty Dafydd?" + +"With notes critical, historical, and explanatory." + +"Come with us, friend," said Peter. "I cannot promise such a dinner as +thou wishest, but neither pipe nor fiddle shall be wanting." + +"Come with us, young man," said Winifred, "even as thou art, and the +daughters of Wales shall bid thee welcome." + +"I will not go with you," said I. "Dost thou see that man in the ford?" + +"Who is staring at us so, and whose horse has not yet done drinking? Of +course I see him." + +"I shall turn back with him. God bless you." + +"Go back with him not," said Peter; "he is one of those whom I like not, +one of the clibberty clabber, as Master Ellis Wyn observes--turn not with +that man." + +"Go not back with him," said Winifred. "If thou goest with that man, +thou wilt soon forget all our profitable counsels; come with us." + +"I cannot; I have much to say to him. Kosko Divvus, Mr. Petulengro." + +"Kosko Divvus, Pal," {247} said Mr. Petulengro, riding through the water; +"are you turning back?" + +I turned back with Mr. Petulengro. Peter came running after me: "One +moment, young man,--who and what are you?" + +"I must answer in the words of Taliesin," said I; "none can say with +positiveness whether I be fish or flesh, least of all myself. God bless +you both!" + +"Take this," said Peter, and he thrust his Welsh Bible into my hand. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXI + + +At a Funeral--Two Days Ago--Very Coolly--Roman Woman--Well and +Hearty--Somewhat Dreary--Plum Pudding--Roman Fashion--Quite Different--The +Dark Lane--Beyond the Time--Fine Fellow--Such a Struggle--Like a Wild +Cat--Fair Play--Pleasant Enough Spot--No Gloves. + +So I turned back with Mr. Petulengro. We travelled for some time in +silence; at last we fell into discourse. "You have been in Wales, Mr. +Petulengro?" + +"Ay, truly, brother." + +"What have you been doing there?" + +"Assisting at a funeral." + +"At whose funeral?" + +"Mrs. Herne's, brother." + +"Is she dead, then?" + +"As a nail, brother." + +"How did she die?" + +"By hanging, brother." + +"I am lost in astonishment," said I; whereupon Mr. Petulengro, lifting +his sinister leg over the neck of his steed, and adjusting himself +sideways in the saddle, replied, with great deliberation, "Two days ago, +I happened to be at a fair not very far from here; I was all alone by +myself, for our party were upwards of forty miles off, when who should +come up but a chap that I knew, a relation, or rather, a connection of +mine--one of those Hernes. 'Ar'n't you going to the funeral?' said he; +and then, brother, there passed between him and me, in the way of +questioning and answering, much the same as has just now passed between I +and you; but when he mentioned hanging, I thought I could do no less than +ask who hanged her, which you forgot to do. 'Who hanged her?' said I; +and then the man told me that she had done it herself,--been her own +hinjiri; {249a} and then I thought to myself what a sin and shame it +would be if I did not go to the funeral, seeing that she was my own +mother-in-law. I would have brought my wife, and, indeed, the whole of +our party, but there was no time for that; they were too far off, and the +dead was to be buried early the next morning; so I went with the man, and +he led me into Wales, where his party had lately retired, and when there, +through many wild and desolate places to their encampment, and there I +found the Hernes, and the dead body--the last laid out on a mattress, in +a tent, dressed Romaneskoenaes {249b} in a red cloak, and big bonnet of +black beaver. I must say for the Hernes that they took the matter very +coolly; some were eating, others drinking, and some were talking about +their small affairs; there was one, however, who did not take the matter +so coolly, but took on enough for the whole family, sitting beside the +dead woman, tearing her hair, and refusing to take either meat or drink; +it was the child Leonora. I arrived at night-fall, and the burying was +not to take place till the morning, which I was rather sorry for, as I am +not very fond of them Hernes, who are not very fond of anybody. They +never asked me to eat or drink, notwithstanding I had married into the +family; one of them, however, came up and offered to fight me for five +shillings; had it not been for them I should have come back as empty as I +went--he didn't stand up five minutes. Brother, I passed the night as +well as I could, beneath a tree, for the tents were full, and not over +clean; I slept little, and had my eyes about me, for I knew the kind of +people I was among. + +"Early in the morning the funeral took place. The body was placed not in +a coffin but on a bier, and carried not to a churchyard but to a deep +dell close by; and there it was buried beneath a rock, dressed just as I +have told you; and this was done by the bidding of Leonora, who had heard +her bebee say that she wished to be buried, not in gorgious fashion, but +like a Roman woman of the old blood, the kosko puro rati, {250a} brother. +When it was over, and we had got back to the encampment, I prepared to be +going. Before mounting my gry, {250b} however, I bethought me to ask +what could have induced the dead woman to make away with herself--a thing +so uncommon amongst Rommanies; whereupon one squinted with his eyes, a +second spirted saliver into the air, and a third said that he neither +knew nor cared; she was a good riddance, having more than once been +nearly the ruin of them all, from the quantity of brimstone she carried +about her. One, however, I suppose rather ashamed of the way in which +they had treated me, said at last, that if I wanted to know all about the +matter, none could tell me better than the child, who was in all her +secrets, and was not a little like her; so I looked about for the child, +but could find her nowhere. At last the same man told me that he +shouldn't wonder if I found her at the grave; so I went back to the +grave, and sure enough there I found the child Leonora, seated on the +ground above the body, crying and taking on; so I spoke kindly to her, +and said, 'How came all this, Leonora? tell me all about it.' It was a +long time before I could get any answer; at last she opened her mouth and +spoke, and these were the words she said, 'It was all along of your Pal;' +{251} and then she told me all about the matter--how Mrs. Herne could not +abide you, which I knew before; and that she had sworn your destruction, +which I did not know before. And then she told me how she found you +living in the wood by yourself, and how you were enticed to eat a +poisoned cake; and she told me many other things that you wot of, and she +told me what perhaps you don't wot, namely, that finding you had been +removed, she, the child, had tracked you a long way, and found you at +last well and hearty, and no ways affected by the poison, and heard you, +as she stood concealed, disputing about religion with a Welsh Methody. +Well, brother, she told me all this; and, moreover, that when Mrs. Herne +heard of it, she said that a dream of hers had come to pass. I don't +know what it was, but something about herself, a tinker, and a dean; and +then she added, that it was all up with her, and that she must take a +long journey. Well, brother, that same night Leonora, waking from her +sleep in the tent where Mrs. Herne and she were wont to sleep, missed her +bebee, {252a} and, becoming alarmed, went in search of her, and at last +found her hanging from a branch; and when the child had got so far, she +took on violently, and I could not get another word from her; so I left +her, and here I am." + +"And I am glad to see you, Mr. Petulengro; but this is sad news which you +tell me about Mrs. Herne." + +"Somewhat dreary, brother; yet, perhaps, after all, it is a good thing +that she is removed; she carried so much Devil's tinder about with her, +as the man said." + +"I am sorry for her," said I; "more especially as I am the cause of her +death--though the innocent one." + +"She could not bide you, brother, that's certain; but that is no +reason"--said Mr. Petulengro, balancing himself upon the saddle--"that is +no reason why she should prepare drow to take away your essence of life; +and, when disappointed, to hang herself upon a tree: if she was +dissatisfied with you, she might have flown at you, and scratched your +face; or, if she did not judge herself your match, she might have put +down five shillings for a turn up between you and some one she thought +could beat you--myself, for example, and so the matter might have ended +comfortably; but she was always too fond of covert ways, drows, and +brimstones. This is not the first poisoning affair she has been engaged +in." + +"You allude to drabbing bawlor." {252b} + +"Bah!" said Mr. Petulengro; "there's no harm in that. No, no! she has +cast drows {253a} in her time for other guess things than bawlor; both +Gorgios and Romans have tasted of them, and died. Did you never hear of +the poisoned plum pudding?" + +"Never." + +"Then I will tell you about it. It happened about six years ago, a few +months after she had quitted us--she had gone first amongst her own +people, as she called them; but there was another small party of Romans, +with whom she soon became very intimate. It so happened that this small +party got into trouble; whether it was about a horse or an ass, or +passing bad money, no matter to you and me, who had no hand in the +business; three or four of them were taken and lodged in --- Castle, and +amongst them was a woman; but the sherengro, or principal man of the +party, and who it seems had most hand in the affair, was still at large. +All of a sudden a rumour was spread abroad that the woman was about to +play false, and to 'peach the rest. Said the principal man, when he +heard it, 'If she does, I am nashkado.' {253b} Mrs. Herne was then on a +visit to the party, and when she heard the principal man take on so, she +said, 'But I suppose you know what to do?' 'I do not,' said he. 'Then +hir mi devlis,' said she, 'you are a fool. But leave the matter to me, I +know how to dispose of her in Roman fashion.' Why she wanted to +interfere in the matter, brother, I don't know, unless it was from pure +brimstoneness of disposition--she had no hand in the matter which had +brought the party into trouble--she was only on a visit, and it had +happened before she came; but she was always ready to give dangerous +advice. Well, brother, the principal man listened to what she had to +say, and let her do what she would; and she made a pudding, a very nice +one, no doubt--for, besides plums, she put in drows and all the Roman +condiments that she knew of; and she gave it to the principal man, and +the principal man put it into a basket and directed it to the woman in --- +Castle, and the woman in the castle took it and--" + +"Ate of it," said I; "just like my case!" + +"Quite different, brother; she took it, it is true, but instead of giving +way to her appetite, as you might have done, she put it before the rest +whom she was going to impeach; perhaps she wished to see how they liked +it before she tasted it herself; and all the rest were poisoned, and one +died, and there was a precious outcry, and the woman cried loudest of +all; and she said, 'It was my death was sought for; I know the man, and +I'll be revenged.' And then the Poknees {254a} spoke to her and said, +'Where can we find him?' and she said, 'I am awake to his motions; three +weeks from hence, the night before the full moon, at such and such an +hour, he will pass down such a lane with such a man.'" + +"Well," said I, "and what did the Poknees do?" + +"Do, brother! sent for a plastramengro {254b} from Bow Street, quite +secretly, and told him what the woman had said; and the night before the +full moon, the plastramengro went to the place which the juwa {255a}had +pointed out, all alone, brother; and in order that he might not be too +late, he went two hours before his time. I know the place well, brother, +where the plastramengro placed himself behind a thick holly tree, at the +end of a lane, where a gate leads into various fields, through which +there is a path for carts and horses. The lane is called the dark lane +by the Gorgios, being much shaded by trees. So the plastramengro placed +himself in the dark lane behind the holly tree; it was a cold February +night, dreary though; the wind blew in gusts, and the moon had not yet +risen, and the plastramengro waited behind the tree till he was tired, +and thought he might as well sit down; so he sat down, and was not long +in falling to sleep, and there he slept for some hours; and when he awoke +the moon had risen, and was shining bright, so that there was a kind of +moonlight even in the dark lane; and the plastramengro pulled out his +watch, and contrived to make out that it was just two hours beyond the +time when the men should have passed by. Brother, I do not know what the +plastramengro thought of himself, but I know, brother, what I should have +thought of myself in his situation. I should have thought, brother, that +I was a drowsy scoppelo, {255b} and that I had let the fellow pass by +whilst I was sleeping behind a bush. As it turned out, however, his +going to sleep did no harm, but quite the contrary: just as he was going +away, he heard a gate slam in the direction of the fields, and then he +heard the low stumping of horses, as if on soft ground, for the path in +those fields is generally soft, and at that time it had been lately +ploughed up. Well, brother, presently he saw two men on horseback coming +towards the lane through the field behind the gate; the man who rode +foremost was a tall big fellow, the very man he was in quest of; the +other was a smaller chap, not so small either, but a light, wiry fellow, +and a proper master of his hands when he sees occasion for using them. +Well, brother, the foremost man came to the gate, reached at the hank, +undid it, and rode through, holding it open for the other. Before, +however, the other could follow into the lane, out bolted the +plastramengro from behind the tree, kicked the gate to with his foot, +and, seizing the big man on horseback, 'You are my prisoner,' said he. I +am of opinion, brother, that the plastramengro, notwithstanding he went +to sleep, must have been a regular fine fellow." + +"I am entirely of your opinion," said I, "but what happened then?" + +"Why, brother, the Rommany chal, after he had somewhat recovered from his +surprise, for it is rather uncomfortable to be laid hold of at +night-time, and told you are a prisoner; more especially when you happen +to have two or three things on your mind which, if proved against you, +would carry you to the nashky. {256} The Rommany chal, I say, clubbed +his whip, and aimed a blow at the plastramengro, which, if it had hit him +on the skull, as was intended, would very likely have cracked it. The +plastramengro, however, received it partly on his staff, so that it did +him no particular damage. Whereupon, seeing what kind of customer he had +to deal with, he dropped his staff and seized the chal with both his +hands, who forthwith spurred his horse, hoping, by doing so, either to +break away from him, or fling him down; but it would not do--the +plastramengro held on like a bulldog, so that the Rommany chal, {257a} to +escape being hauled to the ground, suddenly flung himself off the saddle, +and then happened in that lane, close by the gate, such a struggle +between those two--the chal and the runner--as I suppose will never +happen again. But you must have heard of it; every one has heard of it; +every one has heard of the fight between the Bow Street engro {257b} and +the Rommany chal." + +"I never heard of it till now." + +"All England rung of it, brother. There never was a better match than +between those two. The runner was somewhat the stronger of the two--all +these engroes are strong fellows--and a great deal cooler, for all of +that sort are wondrous cool people--he had, however, to do with one who +knew full well how to take his own part. The chal fought the engro, +brother, in the old Roman fashion. He bit, he kicked, and screamed like +a wild cat of Benygant; casting foam from his mouth, and fire from his +eyes. Sometimes he was beneath the engro's legs, and sometimes he was +upon his shoulders. What the engro found the most difficult, was to get +a firm hold of the chal, for no sooner did he seize the chal by any part +of his wearing apparel, than the chal either tore himself away, or +contrived to slip out of it; so that in a little time the chal was three +parts naked; and as for holding him by the body, it was out of the +question, for he was as slippery as an eel. At last the engro seized the +chal by the Belcher's handkerchief, which he wore in a knot round his +neck, and do whatever the chal could, he could not free himself; and when +the engro saw that, it gave him fresh heart, no doubt: 'It's of no use,' +said he; 'you had better give in; hold out your hands for the darbies, or +I will throttle you.'" + +"And what did the other fellow do, who came with the chal?" said I. + +"I sat still on my horse, brother." + +"You!" said I. "Were you the man?" + +"I was he, brother." + +"And why did you not help your comrade?" + +"I have fought in the ring, brother." + +"And what had fighting in the ring to do with fighting in the lane?" + +"You mean not fighting. A great deal, brother; it taught me to prize +fair play. When I fought Staffordshire Dick, t'other side of London, I +was alone, brother. Not a Rommany chal to back me, and he had all his +brother pals about him; but they gave me fair play, brother; and I beat +Staffordshire Dick, which I couldn't have done had they put one finger on +his side the scale; for he was as good a man as myself, or nearly so. +Now, brother, had I but bent a finger in favour of the Rommany chal, the +plastramengro would never have come alive out of the lane; but I did not, +for I thought to myself fair play is a precious stone; so you see, +brother--" + +"That you are quite right, Mr. Petulengro, I see that clearly; and now, +pray proceed with your narration; it is both moral and entertaining." + +But Mr. Petulengro did not proceed with his narration, neither did he +proceed upon his way; he had stopped his horse, and his eyes were +intently fixed on a broad strip of grass beneath some lofty trees, on the +left side of the road. It was a pleasant enough spot, and seemed to +invite wayfaring people, such as we were, to rest from the fatigues of +the road, and the heat and vehemence of the sun. After examining it for +a considerable time, Mr. Petulengro said, "I say, brother, that would be +a nice place for a tussle!" + +"I dare say it would," said I, "if two people were inclined to fight." + +"The ground is smooth," said Mr. Petulengro; "without holes or ruts, and +the trees cast much shade. I don't think, brother, that we could find a +better place," said Mr. Petulengro, springing from his horse. + +"But you and I don't want to fight!" + +"Speak for yourself, brother," said Mr. Petulengro. "However, I will +tell you how the matter stands. There is a point at present between us. +There can be no doubt that you are the cause of Mrs. Herne's death, +innocently, you will say, but still the cause. Now, I shouldn't like it +to be known that I went up and down the country with a pal who was the +cause of my mother-in-law's death, that's to say, unless he gave me +satisfaction. Now, if I and my pal have a tussle, he gives me +satisfaction; and, if he knocks my eyes out, which I know you can't do, +it makes no difference at all, he gives me satisfaction; and he who says +to the contrary, knows nothing of Gypsy law, and is a dinelo {259} into +the bargain." + +"But we have no gloves!" + +"Gloves!" said Mr. Petulengro, contemptuously, "gloves! I tell you what, +brother, I always thought you were a better hand at the gloves than the +naked fist; and, to tell you the truth, besides taking satisfaction for +Mrs. Herne's death, I wish to see what you can do with your mawleys; +{260} so now is your time, brother, and this is your place, grass and +shade, no ruts or holes; come on, brother, or I shall think you what I +should not like to call you." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXII + + +Offence and Defence--I'm Satisfied--Fond of Solitude--Possession of +Property--Chal Devlehi--Winding Path. + +And when I heard Mr. Petulengro talk in this manner, which I had never +heard him do before, and which I can only account for by his being +fasting and ill-tempered, I had of course no other alternative than to +accept his challenge; so I put myself into a posture which I deemed the +best both for offence and defence, and the tussle commenced; and when it +had endured for about half an hour, Mr. Petulengro said, "Brother, there +is much blood on your face; you had better wipe it off;" and when I had +wiped it off, and again resumed my former attitude, Mr. Petulengro said, +"I think enough has been done, brother, in the affair of the old woman; I +have, moreover, tried what you are able to do, and find you, as I +thought, less apt with the naked mawleys than the stuffed gloves; nay, +brother, put your hands down, I'm satisfied; blood has been shed, which +is all that can be reasonably expected for an old woman who carried so +much brimstone about her as Mrs. Herne." + +So the struggle ended, and we resumed our route, Mr. Petulengro sitting +sideways upon his horse as before, and I driving my little pony-cart, and +when we had proceeded about three miles, we came to a small public-house, +which bore the sign of the "Silent Woman," where we stopped to refresh +our cattle and ourselves; and as we sat over our bread and ale, it came +to pass that Mr. Petulengro asked me various questions, and amongst +others, how I intended to dispose of myself; I told him that I did not +know; whereupon, with considerable frankness, he invited me to his camp, +and told me that if I chose to settle down amongst them, and become a +Rommany chal, I should have his wife's sister Ursula, who was still +unmarried, and occasionally talked of me. + +I declined his offer, assigning as a reason the recent death of Mrs. +Herne, of which I was the cause, although innocent. "A pretty life I +should lead with those two," said I, "when they came to know it." "Pooh," +said Mr. Petulengro, "they will never know it. I shan't blab, and as for +Leonora, that girl has a head on her shoulders." "Unlike the woman in +the sign," said I, "whose head is cut off. You speak nonsense, Mr. +Petulengro; as long as a woman has a head on her shoulders she'll +talk,--but, leaving women out of the case, it is impossible to keep +anything a secret; an old master of mine told me so long ago. I have +moreover another reason for declining your offer. I am at present not +disposed for society. I am become fond of solitude. I wish I could find +some quiet place to which I could retire to hold communion with my own +thoughts, and practise, if I thought fit, either of my trades." "What +trades?" said Mr. Petulengro. "Why, the one which I have lately been +engaged in, or my original one, which I confess I should like better, +that of a kaulomescro." {263} "Ah, I have frequently heard you talk of +making horse-shoes," said Mr. Petulengro; "I, however, never saw you make +one, and no one else that I am aware; I don't believe--come, brother, +don't be angry, it's quite possible that you may have done things which +neither I nor any one else has seen you do, and that such things may some +day or other come to light, as you say nothing can be kept secret. Be +that, however, as it may, pay the reckoning and let us be going; I think +I can advise you to just such a kind of place as you seem to want." + +"And how do you know that I have got wherewithal to pay the reckoning?" I +demanded. "Brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "I was just now looking in +your face, which exhibited the very look of a person conscious of the +possession of property; there was nothing hungry or sneaking in it. Pay +the reckoning, brother." + +And when we were once more upon the road, Mr. Petulengro began to talk of +the place which he conceived would serve me as a retreat under present +circumstances. "I tell you frankly, brother, that it is a queer kind of +place, and I am not very fond of pitching my tent in it, it is so +surprisingly dreary. It is a deep dingle in the midst of a large field, +on an estate about which there has been a lawsuit for some years past. I +dare say you will be quiet enough, for the nearest town is five miles +distant, and there are only a few huts and hedge public-houses in the +neighbourhood. Brother, I am fond of solitude myself, but not that kind +of solitude; I like a quiet heath, where I can pitch my house, but I +always like to have a gay stirring place not far off, where the women can +pen dukkerin, {264a} and I myself can sell or buy a horse, if +needful--such a place as the Chong Gav. {264b} I never feel so merry as +when there, brother, or on the heath above it, where I taught you +Rommany." + +Shortly after this discourse we reached a milestone, and a few yards from +the milestone, on the left hand, was a cross road. Thereupon Mr. +Petulengro said, "Brother, my path lies to the left; if you choose to go +with me to my camp, good; if not, Chal Devlehi." {264c} But I again +refused Mr. Petulengro's invitation, and, shaking him by the hand, +proceeded forward alone; and about ten miles farther on I reached the +town of which he had spoken, and, following certain directions which he +had given, discovered, though not without some difficulty, the dingle +which he had mentioned. It was a deep hollow in the midst of a wide +field; the shelving sides were overgrown with trees and bushes, a belt of +sallows surrounded it on the top, a steep winding path led down into the +depths, practicable, however, for a light cart, like mine; at the bottom +was an open space, and there I pitched my tent, and there I contrived to +put up my forge. "I will here ply the trade of kaulomescro," said I. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXIII + + +Highly Poetical--Volundr--Grecian Mythology--Making a Petul--Tongues of +Flame--Hammering--Spite of Dukkerin--Heaviness. + +It has always struck me that there is something highly poetical about a +forge. I am not singular in this opinion: various individuals have +assured me that they can never pass by one, even in the midst of a +crowded town, without experiencing sensations which they can scarcely +define, but which are highly pleasurable. I have a decided penchant for +forges, especially rural ones, placed in some quaint quiet spot--a +dingle, for example, which is a poetical place, or at a meeting of four +roads, which is still more so; for how many a superstition--and +superstition is the soul of poetry--is connected with these cross roads! +I love to light upon such a one, especially after night-fall, as +everything about a forge tells to most advantage at night; the hammer +sounds more solemnly in the stillness; the glowing particles scattered by +the strokes sparkle with more effect in the darkness, whilst the sooty +visage of the sastramescro, half in shadow, and half illumed by the red +and partial blaze of the forge, looks more mysterious and strange. On +such occasions I draw in my horse's rein, and, seated in the saddle, +endeavour to associate with the picture before me--in itself a picture of +romance--whatever of the wild and wonderful I have read of in books, or +have seen with my own eyes in connection with forges. + +I believe the life of any blacksmith, especially a rural one, would +afford materials for a highly poetical history. I do not speak +unadvisedly, having the honour to be free of the forge, and therefore +fully competent to give an opinion as to what might be made out of the +forge by some dexterous hand. Certainly, the strangest and most +entertaining life ever written is that of a blacksmith of the olden +north, a certain Volundr, or Velint, who lived in woods and thickets, +made keen swords--so keen, indeed, that if placed in a running stream, +they would fairly divide an object, however slight, which was borne +against them by the water, and who eventually married a king's daughter, +by whom he had a son, who was as bold a knight as his father was a +cunning blacksmith. I never see a forge at night, when seated on the +back of my horse, at the bottom of a dark lane, but I somehow or other +associate it with the exploits of this extraordinary fellow, with many +other extraordinary things, amongst which, as I have hinted before, are +particular passages of my own life, one or two of which I shall perhaps +relate to the reader. + +I never associate Vulcan and his Cyclops with the idea of a forge. These +gentry would be the very last people in the world to flit across my mind +whilst gazing at the forge from the bottom of the dark lane. The truth +is, they are highly unpoetical fellows, as well they may be, connected as +they are with the Grecian mythology. At the very mention of their names +the forge burns dull and dim, as if snowballs had been suddenly flung +into it; the only remedy is to ply the bellows, an operation which I now +hasten to perform. + +I am in the dingle making a horse-shoe. Having no other horses on whose +hoofs I could exercise my art, I made my first essay on those of my own +horse, if that could be called horse which horse was none, being only a +pony. Perhaps, if I had sought all England, I should scarcely have found +an animal more in need of the kind offices of the smith. On three of his +feet there were no shoes at all, and on the fourth only a remnant of one, +on which account his hoofs were sadly broken and lacerated by his late +journeys over the hard and flinty roads. "You belonged to a tinker +before," said I, addressing the animal, "but now you belong to a smith. +It is said that the household of the shoemaker invariably go worse shod +than that of any other craft. That may be the case of those who make +shoes of leather, but it shan't be said of the household of him who makes +shoes of iron; at any rate it shan't be said of mine. I tell you what, +my gry, whilst you continue with me, you shall both be better shod, and +better fed, than you were with your last master." + +I am in the dingle making a petul; {267} and I must here observe, that +whilst I am making a horse-shoe, the reader need not be surprised if I +speak occasionally in the language of the lord of the horse-shoe--Mr. +Petulengro. I have for some time past been plying the peshota, or +bellows, endeavouring to raise up the yag, or fire, in my primitive +forge. The angar, or coals, are now burning fiercely, casting forth +sparks and long vagescoe chipes, {268a} or tongues of flame; a small bar +of sastra, or iron, is lying in the fire, to the length of ten or twelve +inches, and so far it is hot, very hot, exceeding hot, brother. And now +you see me, prala, {268b} snatch the bar of iron, and place the heated +end of it upon the covantza, {268c} or anvil, and forthwith I commence +cooring {268d} the sastra as hard as if I had been just engaged by a +master at the rate of dui caulor, or two shillings, a day, brother; and +when I have beaten the iron till it is nearly cool, and my arm tired, I +place it again in the angar, and begin again to rouse the fire with the +pudamengro, which signifies the blowing thing, and is another and more +common word for bellows; and whilst thus employed I sing a Gypsy song, +the sound of which is wonderfully in unison with the hoarse moaning of +the pudamengro, and ere the song is finished, the iron is again hot and +malleable. Behold, I place it once more on the covantza, and recommence +hammering; and now I am somewhat at fault; I am in want of assistance; I +want you, brother, or some one else, to take the bar out of my hand and +support it upon the covantza, whilst I, applying a chinomescro, or kind +of chisel, to the heated iron, cut off with a lusty stroke or two of the +shukaro {268e} baro, or big hammer, as much as is required for the petul. +But having no one to help me, I go on hammering till I have fairly +knocked off as much as I want, and then I place the piece in the fire, +and again apply the bellows, and take up the song where I left it off; +and when I have finished the song, I take out the iron, but this time +with my plaistra, or pincers, and then I recommence hammering, turning +the iron round and round with my pincers: and now I bend the iron, and, +lo and behold! it has assumed something of the outline of a petul. + +I am not going to enter into farther details with respect to the +process--it was rather a wearisome one. I had to contend with various +disadvantages; my forge was a rude one, my tools might have been better; +I was in want of one or two highly necessary implements, but, above all, +manual dexterity. Though free of the forge, I had not practised the +albeytarian art for very many years, never since--but stay, it is not my +intention to tell the reader, at least in this place, how and when I +became a blacksmith. There was one thing, however, which stood me in +good stead in my labour, the same thing which through life has ever been +of incalculable utility to me, and has not unfrequently supplied the +place of friends, money, and many other things of almost equal +importance--iron perseverance, without which all the advantages of time +and circumstance are of very little avail in any undertaking. I was +determined to make a horse-shoe, and a good one, in spite of every +obstacle--ay, in spite of dukkerin. {269} At the end of four days, +during which I had fashioned and refashioned the thing at least fifty +times, I had made a petul such as no master of the craft need have been +ashamed of; with the second shoe I had less difficulty, and, by the time +I had made the fourth, I would have scorned to take off my hat to the +best smith in Cheshire. + +But I had not yet shod my little gry: this I proceeded now to do. After +having first well pared the hoofs with my churi, {270a} I applied each +petul hot, glowing hot, to the pindro. {270b} Oh, how the hoofs hissed! +and, oh, the pleasant pungent odour which diffused itself through the +dingle!--an odour good for an ailing spirit. + +I shod the little horse bravely--merely pricked him once, slightly, with +a cafi, {270c} for doing which, I remember, he kicked me down; I was not +disconcerted, however, but, getting up, promised to be more cautious in +future; and having finished the operation, I filed the hoof well with the +rin baro, then dismissed him to graze amongst the trees, and, putting my +smaller tools into the muchtar, I sat down on my stone, and, supporting +my arm upon my knee, leaned my head upon my hand. Heaviness had come +over me. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXIV + + +Several Causes--Frogs and Efts--Gloom and Twilight--What should I +Do?--"Our Father"--Fellow-men--What a Mercy!--Almost Calm--Fresh +Store--History of Saul--Pitch Dark. + +Heaviness had suddenly come over me, heaviness of heart, and of body +also. I had accomplished the task which I had imposed upon myself, and +now that nothing more remained to do, my energies suddenly deserted me, +and I felt without strength, and without hope. Several causes, perhaps, +co-operated to bring about the state in which I then felt myself. It is +not improbable that my energies had been overstrained during the work the +progress of which I have attempted to describe; and every one is aware +that the results of overstrained energies are feebleness and +lassitude--want of nourishment might likewise have something to do with +it. During my sojourn in the dingle, my food had been of the simplest +and most unsatisfying description, by no means calculated to support the +exertion which the labour I had been engaged upon required; it had +consisted of coarse oaten cakes and hard cheese, and for beverage I had +been indebted to a neighbouring pit, in which, in the heat of the day, I +frequently saw, not golden or silver fish, but frogs and efts swimming +about. I am, however, inclined to believe that Mrs. Herne's cake had +quite as much to do with the matter as insufficient nourishment. I had +never entirely recovered from the effects of its poison, but had +occasionally, especially at night, been visited by a grinding pain in the +stomach, and my whole body had been suffused with cold sweat; and indeed +these memorials of the drow have never entirely disappeared--even at the +present time they display themselves in my system, especially after much +fatigue of body and excitement of mind. So there I sat in the dingle +upon my stone, nerveless and hopeless, by whatever cause or causes that +state had been produced--there I sat with my head leaning upon my hand, +and so I continued a long, long time. At last I lifted my head from my +hand, and began to cast anxious, unquiet looks about the dingle--the +entire hollow was now enveloped in deep shade--I cast my eyes up; there +was a golden gleam on the tops of the trees which grew towards the upper +parts of the dingle; but lower down, all was gloom and twilight--yet, +when I first sat down on my stone, the sun was right above the dingle, +illuminating all its depths by the rays which it cast perpendicularly +down--so I must have sat a long, long time upon my stone. And now, once +more, I rested my head upon my hand, but almost instantly lifted it again +in a kind of fear, and began looking at the objects before me--the forge, +the tools, the branches of the trees, endeavouring to follow their rows, +till they were lost in the darkness of the dingle; and now I found my +right hand grasping convulsively the three fore fingers of the left, +first collectively, and then successively, wringing them till the joints +cracked; then I became quiet, but not for long. + +Suddenly I started up, and could scarcely repress the shriek which was +rising to my lips. Was it possible? Yes, all too certain; the evil one +was upon me; the inscrutable horror which I had felt in my boyhood had +once more taken possession of me. I had thought that it had forsaken +me--that it would never visit me again; that I had outgrown it; that I +might almost bid defiance to it; and I had even begun to think of it +without horror, as we are in the habit of doing of horrors of which we +conceive we run no danger; and lo! when least thought of, it had seized +me again. Every moment I felt it gathering force, and making me more +wholly its own. What should I do?--resist, of course; and I did resist. +I grasped, I tore, and strove to fling it from me; but of what avail were +my efforts? I could only have got rid of it by getting rid of myself: it +was a part of myself, or rather it was all myself. I rushed amongst the +trees, and struck at them with my bare fists, and dashed my head against +them, but I felt no pain. How could I feel pain with that horror upon +me! And then I flung myself on the ground, gnawed the earth, and +swallowed it; and then I looked round; it was almost total darkness in +the dingle, and the darkness added to my horror. I could no longer stay +there; up I rose from the ground, and attempted to escape. At the bottom +of the winding path which led up the acclivity I fell over something +which was lying on the ground; the something moved, and gave a kind of +whine. It was my little horse, which had made that place its lair; my +little horse; my only companion and friend in that now awful solitude. I +reached the mouth of the dingle; the sun was just sinking in the far west +behind me, the fields were flooded with his last gleams. How beautiful +everything looked in the last gleams of the sun! I felt relieved for a +moment; I was no longer in the horrid dingle. In another minute the sun +was gone, and a big cloud occupied the place where he had been: in a +little time it was almost as dark as it had previously been in the open +part of the dingle. My horror increased; what was I to do?--it was of no +use fighting against the horror--that I saw; the more I fought against +it, the stronger it became. What should I do: say my prayers? Ah! why +not? So I knelt down under the hedge, and said, "Our Father"; but that +was of no use; and now I could no longer repress cries--the horror was +too great to be borne. What should I do? run to the nearest town or +village, and request the assistance of my fellow-men? No! that I was +ashamed to do; notwithstanding the horror was upon me, I was ashamed to +do that. I knew they would consider me a maniac, if I went screaming +amongst them; and I did not wish to be considered a maniac. Moreover, I +knew that I was not a maniac, for I possessed all my reasoning powers, +only the horror was upon me--the screaming horror! But how were +indifferent people to distinguish between madness and the screaming +horror? So I thought and reasoned; and at last I determined not to go +amongst my fellow-men, whatever the result might be. I went to the mouth +of the dingle, and there, placing myself on my knees, I again said the +Lord's Prayer; but it was of no use--praying seemed to have no effect +over the horror; the unutterable fear appeared rather to increase than +diminish, and I again uttered wild cries, so loud that I was apprehensive +they would be heard by some chance passenger on the neighbouring road; I +therefore went deeper into the dingle. I sat down with my back against a +thorn bush; the thorns entered my flesh, and when I felt them, I pressed +harder against the bush; I thought the pain of the flesh might in some +degree counteract the mental agony; presently I felt them no longer--the +power of the mental horror was so great that it was impossible, with that +upon me, to feel any pain from the thorns. I continued in this posture a +long time, undergoing what I cannot describe, and would not attempt if I +were able. Several times I was on the point of starting up and rushing +anywhere; but I restrained myself, for I knew I could not escape from +myself, so why should I not remain in the dingle? So I thought and said +to myself, for my reasoning powers were still uninjured. At last it +appeared to me that the horror was not so strong, not quite so strong +upon me. Was it possible that it was relaxing its grasp, releasing its +prey? Oh what a mercy! but it could not be; and yet--I looked up to +heaven, and clasped my hands, and said, "Our Father." I said no more--I +was too agitated; and now I was almost sure that the horror had done its +worst. + +After a little time I arose, and staggered down yet farther into the +dingle. I again found my little horse on the same spot as before. I put +my hand to his mouth--he licked my hand. I flung myself down by him, and +put my arms round his neck; the creature whinnied, and appeared to +sympathise with me. What a comfort to have any one, even a dumb brute, +to sympathise with me at such a moment! I clung to my little horse, as +if for safety and protection. I laid my head on his neck, and felt +almost calm. Presently the fear returned, but not so wild as before; it +subsided, came again, again subsided; then drowsiness came over me, and +at last I fell asleep, my head supported on the neck of the little horse. +I awoke; it was dark, dark night--not a star was to be seen--but I felt +no fear, the horror had left me. I arose from the side of the little +horse, and went into my tent, lay down, and again went to sleep. + +I awoke in the morning weak and sore, and shuddering at the remembrance +of what I had gone through on the preceding day; the sun was shining +brightly, but it had not yet risen high enough to show its head above the +trees which fenced the eastern side of the dingle, on which account the +dingle was wet and dank, from the dews of the night. I kindled my fire, +and, after sitting by it for some time to warm my frame, I took some of +the coarse food which I have already mentioned; notwithstanding my late +struggle, and the coarseness of the fare, I ate with appetite. My +provisions had by this time been very much diminished, and I saw that it +would be speedily necessary, in the event of my continuing to reside in +the dingle, to lay in a fresh store. After my meal, I went to the pit +and filled a can with water, which I brought to the dingle, and then +again sat down on my stone. I considered what I should next do: it was +necessary to do something, or my life in this solitude would be +insupportable. What should I do? rouse up my forge and fashion a horse- +shoe? But I wanted nerve and heart for such an employment; moreover, I +had no motive for fatiguing myself in this manner; my own horse was shod, +no other was at hand, and it is hard to work for the sake of working. +What should I do? read? Yes, but I had no other book than the Bible +which the Welsh Methodist had given me. Well, why not read the Bible? I +was once fond of reading the Bible; ay, but those days were long gone by. +However, I did not see what else I could well do on the present +occasion--so I determined to read the Bible--it was in Welsh; at any rate +it might amuse me. So I took the Bible out of the sack, in which it was +lying in the cart, and began to read at the place where I chanced to open +it. I opened it at that part where the history of Saul commences. At +first I read with indifference, but after some time my attention was +riveted, and no wonder, I had come to the visitations of Saul--those dark +moments of his, when he did and said such unaccountable things; it almost +appeared to me that I was reading of myself; I, too, had my visitations, +dark as ever his were. Oh, how I sympathised with Saul, the tall dark +man! I had read his life before, but it had made no impression on me; it +had never occurred to me that I was like him; but I now sympathised with +Saul, for my own dark hour was but recently passed, and, perhaps, would +soon return again; the dark hour came frequently on Saul. + +Time wore away; I finished the book of Saul, and, closing the volume, +returned it to its place. I then returned to my seat on the stone, and +thought of what I had read, and what I had lately undergone. All at once +I thought I felt well-known sensations, a cramping of the breast, and a +tingling of the soles of the feet; they were what I had felt on the +preceding day--they were the forerunners of the fear. I sat motionless +on my stone, the sensations passed away, and the fear came not. Darkness +was now coming again over the earth; the dingle was again in deep shade; +I roused the fire with the breath of the bellows, and sat looking at the +cheerful glow; it was cheering and comforting. My little horse came now +and lay down on the ground beside the forge; I was not quite deserted. I +again ate some of the coarse food, and drank plentifully of the water +which I had fetched in the morning. I then put fresh fuel on the fire, +and sat for a long time looking on the blaze; I then went into my tent. + +I awoke, on my own calculation, about midnight--it was pitch dark, and +there was much fear upon me. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXV + + +Free and Independent--I Don't See Why--Oats--A Noise--Unwelcome +Visitors--What's the Matter?--Good Day to Ye--The Tall +Girl--Dovrefeld--Blow on the Face--Civil Enough--What's This?--Vulgar +Woman--Hands off--Gasping for Breath--Long Melford--A Pretty Manoeuvre--A +Long Draught--Signs of Animation--It Won't Do--No Malice--Bad People. + +Two mornings after the period to which I have brought the reader in the +preceding chapter, I sat by my fire at the bottom of the dingle; I had +just breakfasted, and had finished the last morsel of food which I had +brought with me to that solitude. + +"What shall I now do?" said I to myself; "shall I continue here, or +decamp?--this is a sad lonely spot--perhaps I had better quit it; but +whither shall I go? the wide world is before me, but what can I do +therein? I have been in the world already without much success. No, I +had better remain here; the place is lonely, it is true, but here I am +free and independent, and can do what I please; but I can't remain here +without food. Well, I will find my way to the nearest town, lay in a +fresh supply of provision, and come back, turning my back upon the world, +which has turned its back upon me. I don't see why I should not write a +little sometimes; I have pens and an ink-horn, and for a writing-desk I +can place the Bible on my knee. I shouldn't wonder if I could write a +capital satire on the world on the back of that Bible; but, first of all, +I must think of supplying myself with food." + +I rose up from the stone on which I was seated, determining to go to the +nearest town, with my little horse and cart, and procure what I wanted. +The nearest town, according to my best calculation, lay about five miles +distant; I had no doubt, however, that, by using ordinary diligence, I +should be back before evening. In order to go lighter, I determined to +leave my tent standing as it was, and all the things which I had +purchased of the tinker, just as they were. "I need not be apprehensive +on their account," said I to myself; "nobody will come here to meddle +with them--the great recommendation of this place is its perfect +solitude--I dare say that I could live here six months without seeing a +single human visage. I will now harness my little gry and be off to the +town." + +At a whistle which I gave, the little gry, {280} which was feeding on the +bank near the uppermost part of the dingle, came running to me, for by +this time he had become so accustomed to me, that he would obey my call, +for all the world as if he had been one of the canine species. "Now," +said I to him, "we are going to the town to buy bread for myself, and +oats for you--I am in a hurry to be back; therefore, I pray you to do +your best, and to draw me and the cart to the town with all possible +speed, and to bring us back; if you do your best, I promise you oats on +your return. You know the meaning of oats, Ambrol?" + +Ambrol whinnied as if to let me know that he understood me perfectly +well, as indeed he well might, as I had never once fed him during the +time that he had been in my possession without saying the word in +question to him. Now, Ambrol, in the Gypsy tongue, signifieth a pear. + +So I caparisoned Ambrol, and then, going to the cart, I removed two or +three things from it into the tent; I then lifted up the shafts, and was +just going to call to the pony to come and be fastened to them, when I +thought I heard a noise. + +I stood stock still, supporting the shaft of the little cart in my hand, +and bending the right side of my face slightly towards the ground, but I +could hear nothing; the noise which I thought I had heard was not one of +those sounds which I was accustomed to hear in that solitude--the note of +a bird, or the rustling of a bough; it was--there I heard it again, a +sound very much resembling the grating of a wheel amongst gravel. Could +it proceed from the road? Oh no, the road was too far distant for me to +hear the noise of anything moving along it. Again I listened, and now I +distinctly heard the sound of wheels, which seemed to be approaching the +dingle; nearer and nearer they drew, and presently the sound of wheels +was blended with the murmur of voices. Anon I heard a boisterous shout, +which seemed to proceed from the entrance of the dingle. "Here are folks +at hand," said I, letting the shaft of the cart fall to the ground, "is +it possible that they can be coming here?" + +My doubts on that point, if I entertained any, were soon dispelled; the +wheels, which had ceased moving for a moment or two, were once again in +motion, and were now evidently moving down the winding path which led to +my retreat. Leaving my cart, I came forward and placed myself near the +entrance of the open space, with my eyes fixed on the path down which my +unexpected, and I may say unwelcome, visitors were coming. Presently I +heard a stamping or sliding, as if of a horse in some difficulty; then a +loud curse, and the next moment appeared a man and a horse and cart; the +former holding the head of the horse up to prevent him from falling, of +which he was in danger, owing to the precipitous nature of the path. +Whilst thus occupied, the head of the man was averted from me. When, +however, he had reached the bottom of the descent, he turned his head, +and perceiving me, as I stood bareheaded, without either coat or +waistcoat, about two yards from him, he gave a sudden start, so violent, +that the backward motion of his hand had nearly flung the horse upon his +haunches. + +"Why don't you move forward?" said a voice from behind, apparently that +of a female; "you are stopping up the way, and we shall be all down upon +one another;" and I saw the head of another horse overtopping the back of +the cart. + +"Why don't you move forward, Jack?" said another voice, also of a female, +yet higher up the path. + +The man stirred not, but remained staring at me in the posture which he +had assumed on first perceiving me, his body very much drawn back, his +left foot far in advance of his right, and with his right hand still +grasping the halter of the horse, which gave way more and more, till it +was clean down on its haunches. + +"What's the matter?" said the voice which I had last heard. + +"Get back with you, Belle, Moll," said the man, still staring at me, +"here's something not over canny or comfortable." + +"What is it?" said the same voice; "let me pass, Moll, and I'll soon +clear the way;" and I heard a kind of rushing down the path. + +"You need not be afraid," said I, addressing myself to the man. "I mean +you no harm; I am a wanderer like yourself--come here to seek for +shelter--you need not be afraid; I am a Roman chabo {283} by +matriculation--one of the right sort, and no mistake--Good day to ye, +brother; I bid ye welcome." + +The man eyed me suspiciously for a moment--then, turning to his horse +with a loud curse, he pulled him up from his haunches, and led him and +the cart farther down to one side of the dingle, muttering, as he passed +me, "Afraid! Hm!" + +I do not remember ever to have seen a more ruffianly looking fellow; he +was about six feet high, with an immensely athletic frame; his face was +black and bluff, and sported an immense pair of whiskers, but with here +and there a grey hair, for his age could not be much under fifty. He +wore a faded blue frock-coat, corduroys, and highlows; on his black head +was a kind of red nightcap, round his bull neck a Barcelona +handkerchief--I did not like the look of the man at all. + +"Afraid!" growled the fellow, proceeding to unharness his horse; "that +was the word, I think." + +But other figures were now already upon the scene. Dashing past the +other horse and cart, which by this time had reached the bottom of the +pass, appeared an exceedingly tall woman, or rather girl, for she could +scarcely have been above eighteen; she was dressed in a tight bodice and +a blue stuff gown; hat, bonnet, or cap she had none, and her hair, which +was flaxen, hung down on her shoulders unconfined; her complexion was +fair, and her features handsome, with a determined but open +expression--she was followed by another female, about forty, stout and +vulgar looking, at whom I scarcely glanced, my whole attention being +absorbed by the tall girl. + +"What's the matter, Jack?" said the latter, looking at the man. + +"Only afraid, that's all," said the man, still proceeding with his work. + +"Afraid at what--at that lad? why, he looks like a ghost--I would engage +to thrash him with one hand." + +"You might beat me with no hands at all," said I, "fair damsel, only by +looking at me--I never saw such a face and figure, both regal--why, you +look like Ingeborg, Queen of Norway; she had twelve brothers, you know, +and could lick them all, though they were heroes:-- + + 'On Dovrefeld in Norway, + Were once together seen, + The twelve heroic brothers + Of Ingeborg the queen.'" + +"None of your chaffing, young fellow," said the tall girl, "or I will +give you what shall make you wipe your face; be civil, or you will rue +it." + +"Well, perhaps I was a peg too high," said I; "I ask your pardon--here's +something a bit lower:-- + + 'As I was jawing to the gav yeck divvus + I met on the drom miro Rommany chi--'" {285} + +"None of your Rommany chies, young fellow," said the tall girl, looking +more menacingly than before, and clenching her fist; "you had better be +civil, I am none of your chies; and though I keep company with Gypsies, +or, to speak more proper, half-and-halfs, I would have you to know that I +come of Christian blood and parents, and was born in the great house of +Long Melford." + +"I have no doubt," said I, "that it was a great house; judging from your +size I shouldn't wonder if you were born in a church." + +"Stay, Belle," said the man, putting himself before the young virago, who +was about to rush upon me, "my turn is first"--then, advancing to me in a +menacing attitude, he said, with a look of deep malignity, "'Afraid' was +the word, wasn't it?" + +"It was," said I, "but I think I wronged you; I should have said, aghast, +you exhibited every symptom of one labouring under uncontrollable fear." + +The fellow stared at me with a look of stupid ferocity, and appeared to +be hesitating whether to strike or not: ere he could make up his mind, +the tall girl started forward, crying, "He's chaffing; let me at him;" +and before I could put myself on my guard, she struck me a blow on the +face which had nearly brought me to the ground. + +"Enough," said I, putting my hand to my cheek; "you have now performed +your promise, and made me wipe my face: now be pacified, and tell me +fairly the grounds of this quarrel." + +"Grounds!" said the fellow; "didn't you say I was afraid; and if you +hadn't, who gave you leave to camp on my ground?" + +"Is it your ground?" said I. + +"A pretty question," said the fellow; "as if all the world didn't know +that. Do you know who I am?" + +"I guess I do," said I; "unless I am much mistaken, you are he whom folks +call the 'Flaming Tinman.' To tell you the truth, I'm glad we have met, +for I wished to see you. These are your two wives, I suppose; I greet +them. There's no harm done--there's room enough here for all of us--we +shall soon be good friends, I dare say; and when we are a little better +acquainted, I'll tell you my history." + +"Well, if that doesn't beat all!" said the fellow. + +"I don't think he's chaffing now," said the girl, whose anger seemed to +have subsided on a sudden; "the young man speaks civil enough." + +"Civil!" said the fellow, with an oath; "but that's just like you; with +you it is a blow, and all over. Civil! I suppose you would have him +stay here, and get into all my secrets, and hear all I may have to say to +my two morts." + +"Two morts!" said the girl, kindling up, "where are they? Speak for one, +and no more. I am no mort of yours, whatever some one else may be. I +tell you one thing, Black John, or Anselo,--for t'other a'n't your +name,--the same thing I told the young man here, be civil, or you will +rue it." + +The fellow looked at the girl furiously, but his glance soon quailed +before hers; he withdrew his eyes, and cast them on my little horse, +which was feeding amongst the trees. "What's this?" said he, rushing +forward and seizing the animal. "Why, as I am alive, this is the horse +of that mumping villain Slingsby." + +"It's his no longer; I bought it and paid for it." + +"It's mine now," said the fellow; "I swore I would seize it the next time +I found it on my beat; ay, and beat the master too." + +"I am not Slingsby." + +"All's one for that." + +"You don't say you will beat me?" + +"Afraid was the word." + +"I'm sick and feeble." + +"Hold up your fists." + +"Won't the horse satisfy you?" + +"Horse nor bellows either." + +"No mercy, then?" + +"Here's at you." + +"Mind your eyes, Jack. There, you've got it. I thought so," shouted the +girl, as the fellow staggered back from a sharp blow in the eye; "I +thought he was chaffing at you all along." + +"Never mind, Anselo. You know what to do--go in," said the vulgar woman, +who had hitherto not spoken a word, but who now came forward with all the +look of a fury; "go inapopli; {287} you'll smash ten like he." + +The Flaming Tinman took her advice, and came in bent on smashing, but +stopped short on receiving a left-handed blow on the nose. + +"You'll never beat the Flaming Tinman in that way," said the girl, +looking at me doubtfully. + +And so I began to think myself, when, in the twinkling of an eye, the +Flaming Tinman, disengaging himself of his frock-coat, and dashing off +his red nightcap, came rushing in more desperately than ever. To a flush +hit which he received in the mouth he paid as little attention as a wild +bull would have done; in a moment his arms were around me, and in another +he had hurled me down, falling heavily upon me. The fellow's strength +appeared to be tremendous. + +"Pay him off now," said the vulgar woman. The Flaming Tinman made no +reply, but, planting his knee on my breast, seized my throat with two +huge horny hands. I gave myself up for dead, and probably should have +been so in another minute but for the tall girl, who caught hold of the +handkerchief which the fellow wore round his neck, with a grasp nearly as +powerful as that with which he pressed my throat. + +"Do you call that fair play?" said she. + +"Hands off, Belle," said the other woman; "do you call it fair play to +interfere? hands off, or I'll be down upon you myself." + +But Belle paid no heed to the injunction, and tugged so hard at the +handkerchief, that the Flaming Tinman was nearly throttled; suddenly +relinquishing his hold of me, he started on his feet, and aimed a blow at +my fair preserver, who avoided it, but said coolly-- + +"Finish t'other business first, and then I'm your woman whenever you +like; but finish it fairly--no foul play when I'm by--I'll be the boy's +second, and Moll can pick up you when he happens to knock you down." + +The battle during the next ten minutes raged with considerable fury, but +it so happened that during this time I was never able to knock the +Flaming Tinman down, but on the contrary received six knock-down blows +myself. "I can never stand this," said I, as I sat on the knee of Belle, +"I am afraid I must give in; the Flaming Tinman hits very hard," and I +spat out a mouthful of blood. + +"Sure enough you'll never beat the Flaming Tinman in the way you +fight--it's of no use flipping at the Flaming Tinman with your left hand; +why don't you use your right?" + +"Because I'm not handy with it," said I; and then getting up, I once more +confronted the Flaming Tinman, and struck him six blows for his one, but +they were all left-handed blows, and the blow which the Flaming Tinman +gave me knocked me off my legs. + +"Now, will you use Long Melford?" said Belle, picking me up. + +"I don't know what you mean by Long Melford," said I, gasping for breath. + +"Why, this long right of yours," said Belle, feeling my right arm; "if +you do, I shouldn't wonder if you yet stand a chance." + +And now the Flaming Tinman was once more ready, much more ready than +myself. I, however, rose from my second's knee as well as my weakness +would permit me. On he came, striking left and right, appearing almost +as fresh as to wind and spirit as when he first commenced the combat, +though his eyes were considerably swelled, and his nether lip was cut in +two; on he came, striking left and right, and I did not like his blows at +all, or even the wind of them, which was anything but agreeable, and I +gave way before him. At last he aimed a blow which, had it taken full +effect, would doubtless have ended the battle, but owing to his slipping, +the fist only grazed my left shoulder, and came with terrific force +against a tree, close to which I had been driven; before the Tinman could +recover himself, I collected all my strength, and struck him beneath the +ear, and then fell to the ground completely exhausted; and it so happened +that the blow which I struck the tinker beneath the ear was a +right-handed blow. + +"Hurrah for Long Melford!" I heard Belle exclaim; "there is nothing like +Long Melford for shortness, all the world over." + +At these words I turned round my head as I lay, and perceived the Flaming +Tinman stretched upon the ground apparently senseless. "He is dead," +said the vulgar woman, as she vainly endeavoured to raise him up; "he is +dead; the best man in all the north country, killed in this fashion, by a +boy!" Alarmed at these words, I made shift to get on my feet; and, with +the assistance of the woman, placed my fallen adversary in a sitting +posture. I put my hand to his heart, and felt a slight pulsation--"He's +not dead," said I, "only stunned; if he were let blood, he would recover +presently." I produced a penknife which I had in my pocket, and, baring +the arm of the Tinman, was about to make the necessary incision, when the +woman gave me a violent blow, and, pushing me aside, exclaimed, "I'll +tear the eyes out of your head, if you offer to touch him. Do you want +to complete your work, and murder him outright, now he's asleep? you have +had enough of his blood already." "You are mad," said I; "I only seek to +do him service. Well, if you won't let him be blooded, fetch some water +and fling it in his face; you know where the pit is." + +"A pretty manoeuvre!" said the woman; "leave my husband in the hands of +you and that limmer, who has never been true to us--I should find him +strangled or his throat cut when I came back." "Do you go," said I to +the tall girl; "take the can and fetch some water from the pit." "You +had better go yourself," said the girl, wiping a tear as she looked on +the yet senseless form of the tinker; "you had better go yourself, if you +think water will do him good." I had by this time somewhat recovered my +exhausted powers, and, taking the can, I bent my steps as fast as I could +to the pit; arriving there, I lay down on the brink, took a long draught, +and then plunged my head into the water; after which I filled the can, +and bent my way back to the dingle. Before I could reach the path which +led down into its depths, I had to pass some way along its side; I had +arrived at a part immediately over the scene of the last encounter, where +the bank, overgrown with trees, sloped precipitously down. Here I heard +a loud sound of voices in the dingle; I stopped, and laying hold of a +tree, leaned over the bank and listened. The two women appeared to be in +hot dispute in the dingle. "It was all owing to you, you limmer," said +the vulgar woman to the other; "had you not interfered, the old man would +soon have settled the boy." + +"I'm for fair play and Long Melford," said the other. "If your old man, +as you call him, could have settled the boy fairly, he might for all I +should have cared, but no foul work for me; and as for sticking the boy +with our gulleys when he comes back, as you proposed, I am not so fond of +your old man or you that I should oblige you in it, to my soul's +destruction." "Hold your tongue, or I'll . . . " I listened no farther, +but hastened as fast as I could to the dingle. My adversary had just +begun to show signs of animation; the vulgar woman was still supporting +him, and occasionally cast glances of anger at the tall girl, who was +walking slowly up and down. I lost no time in dashing the greater part +of the water into the Tinman's face, whereupon he sneezed, moved his +hands, and presently looked round him. At first his looks were dull and +heavy, and without any intelligence at all; he soon, however, began to +recollect himself, and to be conscious of his situation; he cast a +scowling glance at me, then one of the deepest malignity at the tall +girl, who was still walking about without taking much notice of what was +going forward. At last he looked at his right hand, which had evidently +suffered from the blow against the tree, and a half-stifled curse escaped +his lips. The vulgar woman now said something to him in a low tone, +whereupon he looked at her for a moment, and then got upon his legs. +Again the vulgar woman said something to him; her looks were furious, and +she appeared to be urging him on to attempt something. I observed that +she had a clasped knife in her hand. The fellow remained standing for +some time as if hesitating what to do; at last he looked at his hand, +and, shaking his head, said something to the woman which I did not +understand. The tall girl, however, appeared to overhear him, and, +probably repeating his words, said, "No, it won't do; you are right +there; and now hear what I have to say,--let bygones be bygones, and let +us all shake hands, and camp here, as the young man was saying just now." +The man looked at her, and then, without any reply, went to his horse, +which was lying down among the trees, and kicking it up, led it to the +cart, to which he forthwith began to harness it. The other cart and +horse had remained standing motionless during the whole affair which I +have been recounting, at the bottom of the pass. The woman now took the +horse by the head, and leading it with the cart into the open part of the +dingle, turned both round, and then led them back, till the horse and +cart had mounted a little way up the ascent; she then stood still and +appeared to be expecting the man. During this proceeding Belle had stood +looking on without saying anything; at last, perceiving that the man had +harnessed his horse to the other cart, and that both he and the woman +were about to take their departure, she said, "You are not going, are +you?" Receiving no answer, she continued: "I tell you what, both of you, +Black John, and you Moll, his mort, {293} this is not treating me over +civilly,--however, I am ready to put up with it, and to go with you if +you like, for I bear no malice. I'm sorry for what has happened, but you +have only yourselves to thank for it. Now, shall I go with you, only +tell me?" The man made no manner of reply, but flogged his horse. The +woman, however, whose passions were probably under less control, replied, +with a screeching tone, "Stay where you are, you jade, and may the curse +of Judas cling to you,--stay with the bit of a mullo {294a} whom you +helped, and my only hope is that he may gulley {294b} you before he comes +to be . . . Have you with us, indeed! after what's past! no, nor nothing +belonging to you. Fetch down your mailla {294c} go-cart and live here +with your chabo." She then whipped on the horse, and ascended the pass, +followed by the man. The carts were light, and they were not long in +ascending the winding path. I followed to see that they took their +departure. Arriving at the top, I found near the entrance a small donkey- +cart, which I concluded belonged to the girl. The tinker and his mort +were already at some distance; I stood looking after them for a little +time, then taking the donkey by the reins I led it with the cart to the +bottom of the dingle. Arrived there, I found Belle seated on the stone +by the fireplace. Her hair was all dishevelled, and she was in tears. + +"They were bad people," said she, "and I did not like them, but they were +my only acquaintance in the wide world." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXVI + + +At Tea--Vapours--Isopel Berners--Softly and Kindly--Sweet Pretty +Creature--Bread and Water--Two Sailors--Truth and Constancy--Very +Strangely. + +In the evening of that same day the tall girl and I sat at tea by the +fire, at the bottom of the dingle; the girl on a small stool, and myself, +as usual, upon my stone. + +The water which served for the tea had been taken from a spring of +pellucid water in the neighbourhood, which I had not had the good fortune +to discover, though it was well known to my companion, and to the +wandering people who frequented the dingle. + +"This tea is very good," said I, "but I cannot enjoy it as much as if I +were well: I feel very sadly." + +"How else should you feel," said the girl, "after fighting with the +Flaming Tinman? All I wonder at is that you can feel at all! As for the +tea, it ought to be good, seeing that it cost me ten shillings a pound." + +"That's a great deal for a person in your station to pay." + +"In my station! I'd have you to know, young man--however, I haven't the +heart to quarrel with you, you look so ill; and after all, it is a good +sum for one to pay who travels the roads; but if I must have tea, I like +to have the best; and tea I must have, for I am used to it, though I +can't help thinking that it sometimes fills my head with strange +fancies--what some folks call vapours, making me weep and cry." + +"Dear me," said I, "I should never have thought that one of your size and +fierceness would weep and cry!" + +"My size and fierceness! I tell you what, young man, you are not over +civil this evening; but you are ill, as I said before, and I shan't take +much notice of your language, at least for the present; as for my size, I +am not so much bigger than yourself; and as for being fierce, you should +be the last one to fling that at me. It is well for you that I can be +fierce sometimes. If I hadn't taken your part against Blazing Bosville, +you wouldn't be now taking tea with me." + +"It is true that you struck me in the face first; but we'll let that +pass. So that man's name is Bosville; what's your own?" + +"Isopel Berners." + +"How did you get that name?" + +"I say, young man, you seem fond of asking questions: will you have +another cup of tea?" + +"I was just going to ask for another." + +"Well, then, here it is, and much good may it do you; as for my name, I +got it from my mother." + +"Your mother's name, then, was Isopel?" + +"Isopel Berners." + +"But had you never a father?" + +"Yes, I had a father," said the girl, sighing, "but I don't bear his +name." + +"Is it the fashion, then, in your country for children to bear their +mother's name?" + +"If you ask such questions, young man, I shall be angry with you. I have +told you my name, and, whether my father's or mother's, I am not ashamed +of it." + +"It is a noble name." + +"There you are right, young man. The chaplain in the great house, where +I was born, told me it was a noble name; it was odd enough, he said, that +the only three noble names in the county were to be found in the great +house; mine was one; the other two were Devereux and Bohun." + +"What do you mean by the great house?" + +"The workhouse." + +"Is it possible that you were born there?" + +"Yes, young man; and as you now speak softly and kindly, I will tell you +my whole tale. My father was an officer of the sea, and was killed at +sea as he was coming home to marry my mother, Isopel Berners. He had +been acquainted with her, and had left her; but after a few months he +wrote her a letter, to say that he had no rest, and that he repented, and +that as soon as his ship came to port he would do her all the reparation +in his power. Well, young man, the very day before they reached port +they met the enemy, and there was a fight, and my father was killed, +after he had struck down six of the enemy's crew on their own deck; for +my father was a big man, as I have heard, and knew tolerably well how to +use his hands. And when my mother heard the news, she became half +distracted, and ran away into the fields and forests, totally neglecting +her business, for she was a small milliner; and so she ran demented about +the meads and forests for a long time, now sitting under a tree, and now +by the side of a river--at last she flung herself into some water, and +would have been drowned, had not some one been at hand and rescued her, +whereupon she was conveyed to the great house, lest she should attempt to +do herself farther mischief, for she had neither friends nor parents--and +there she died three months after, having first brought me into the +world. She was a sweet pretty creature, I'm told, but hardly fit for +this world, being neither large, nor fierce, nor able to take her own +part. So I was born and bred in the great house, where I learnt to read +and sew, to fear God, and to take my own part. When I was fourteen I was +put out to service to a small farmer and his wife, with whom, however, I +did not stay long, for I was half starved, and otherwise ill-treated, +especially by my mistress, who one day attempting to knock me down with a +besom, I knocked her down with my fist, and went back to the great +house." + +"And how did they receive you in the great house?" + +"Not very kindly, young man--on the contrary, I was put into a dark room, +where I was kept a fortnight on bread and water; I did not much care, +however, being glad to have got back to the great house at any rate--the +place where I was born, and where my poor mother died; and in the great +house I continued two years longer, reading and sewing, fearing God, and +taking my own part when necessary. At the end of the two years I was +again put out to service, but this time to a rich farmer and his wife, +with whom, however, I did not live long, less time, I believe, than with +the poor ones, being obliged to leave for--" + +"Knocking your mistress down?" + +"No, young man, knocking my master down, who conducted himself improperly +towards me. This time I did not go back to the great house, having a +misgiving that they would not receive me; so I turned my back to the +great house where I was born, and where my poor mother died, and wandered +for several days I know not whither, supporting myself on a few halfpence +which I chanced to have in my pocket. It happened one day, as I sat +under a hedge crying, having spent my last farthing, that a comfortable- +looking elderly woman came up in a cart, and seeing the state in which I +was, she stopped and asked what was the matter with me; I told her some +part of my story, whereupon she said, 'Cheer up, my dear; if you like, +you shall go with me, and wait upon me.' Of course I wanted little +persuasion, so I got into the cart and went with her. She took me to +London and various other places, and I soon found that she was a +travelling woman, who went about the country with silks and linen. I was +of great use to her, more especially in those places where we met evil +company. Once, as we were coming from Dover, we were met by two sailors, +who stopped our cart, and would have robbed and stripped us. 'Let me get +down,' said I; so I got down, and fought with them both, till they turned +round and ran away. Two years I lived with the old gentlewoman, who was +very kind to me, almost as kind as a mother; at last she fell sick at a +place in Lincolnshire, and after a few days died, leaving me her cart and +stock in trade, praying me only to see her decently buried--which I did, +giving her a funeral fit for a gentlewoman. After which I travelled the +country--melancholy enough for want of company, but so far fortunate, +that I could take my own part when anybody was uncivil to me. At last, +passing through the valley of Todmorden, I formed the acquaintance of +Blazing Bosville and his wife, with whom I occasionally took journeys for +company's sake, for it is melancholy to travel about alone, even when one +can take one's own part. I soon found they were evil people; but, upon +the whole, they treated me civilly, and I sometimes lent them a little +money, so that we got on tolerably well together. He and I, it is true, +had once a dispute, and nearly came to blows; for once, when we were +alone, he wanted me to marry him, promising, if I would, to turn off Grey +Moll, or, if I liked it better, to make her wait upon me as a +maid-servant; I never liked him much, but from that hour less than ever. +Of the two, I believe Grey Moll to be the best, for she is at any rate +true and faithful to him, and I like truth and constancy--don't you, +young man?" + +"Yes," said I, "they are very nice things. I feel very strangely." + +"How do you feel, young man?" + +"Very much afraid." + +"Afraid, at what? At the Flaming Tinman? Don't be afraid of him. He +won't come back, and if he did, he shouldn't touch you in this state; I'd +fight him for you; but he won't come back, so you needn't be afraid of +him." + +"I'm not afraid of the Flaming Tinman." + +"What, then, are you afraid of?" + +"The evil one." + +"The evil one!" said the girl; "where is he?" + +"Coming upon me." + +"Never heed," said the girl, "I'll stand by you." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXVII + + +Hubbub of Voices--No Offence--Nodding--The Guests. + +The kitchen of the public-house was a large one, and many people were +drinking in it; there was a confused hubbub of voices. + +I sat down on a bench behind a deal table, of which there were three or +four in the kitchen; presently a bulky man, in a green coat of the +Newmarket cut, and without a hat, entered, and observing me, came up, and +in rather a gruff tone cried, "Want anything, young fellow?" + +"Bring me a jug of ale," said I, "if you are the master, as I suppose you +are, by that same coat of yours, and your having no hat on your head." + +"Don't be saucy, young fellow," said the landlord, for such he was; +"don't be saucy, or . . . " Whatever he intended to say he left unsaid, +for fixing his eyes upon one of my hands, which I had placed by chance +upon the table, he became suddenly still. + +This was my left hand, which was raw and swollen, from the blows dealt on +a certain hard skull in a recent combat. "What do you mean by staring at +my hand so?" said I, withdrawing it from the table. + +"No offence, young man, no offence," said the landlord, in a quite +altered tone; "but the sight of your hand . . . " then observing that our +conversation began to attract the notice of the guests in the kitchen, he +interrupted himself, saying in an undertone, "But mum's the word for the +present, I will go and fetch the ale." + +In about a minute he returned, with a jug of ale foaming high. "Here's +your health," said he, blowing off the foam, and drinking; but perceiving +that I looked rather dissatisfied, he murmured, "All's right, I glory in +you; but mum's the word." Then placing the jug on the table, he gave me +a confidential nod, and swaggered out of the room. + +What can the silly impertinent fellow mean, thought I; but the ale was +now before me, and I hastened to drink, for my weakness was great, and my +mind was full of dark thoughts, the remains of the indescribable horror +of the preceding night. It may kill me, thought I, as I drank deep--but +who cares? anything is better than what I have suffered. I drank deep, +and then leaned back against the wall: it appeared as if a vapour was +stealing up into my brain, gentle and benign, soothing and stilling the +horror and the fear; higher and higher it mounted, and I felt nearly +overcome; but the sensation was delicious, compared with that I had +lately experienced, and now I felt myself nodding; and, bending down, I +laid my head on the table on my folded hands. + +And in that attitude I remained some time, perfectly unconscious. At +length, by degrees, perception returned, and I lifted up my head. I felt +somewhat dizzy and bewildered, but the dark shadow had withdrawn itself +from me. And now once more I drank of the jug; this second draught did +not produce an overpowering effect upon me--it revived and strengthened +me--I felt a new man. + +I looked around me; the kitchen had been deserted by the greater part of +the guests; besides myself, only four remained; these were seated at the +farther end. One was haranguing fiercely and eagerly; he was abusing +England, and praising America. At last he exclaimed, "So when I gets to +New York, I will toss up my hat, and damn the King." + +That man must be a Radical, thought I. + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXVIII + + +A Radical--Simple-looking Man--Church of England--The +President--Aristocracy--Gin and Water--Mending the Roads--Persecuting +Church--Simon de Montfort--Broken Bells--Get Up--Not for the Pope--Quay +of New York--Mumpers' Dingle--No Wish to Fight--First Draught--A Poor +Pipe--Half-a-crown Broke. + +The individual whom I supposed to be a Radical, after a short pause, +again uplifted his voice; he was rather a strong-built fellow of about +thirty, with an ill-favoured countenance, a white hat on his head, a +snuff-coloured coat on his back, and, when he was not speaking, a pipe in +his mouth. "Who would live in such a country as England?" he shouted. + +"There is no country like America," said his nearest neighbour, a man +also in a white hat, and of a very ill-favoured countenance--"there is no +country like America," said he, withdrawing a pipe from his mouth; "I +think I shall"--and here he took a draught from a jug, the contents of +which he appeared to have in common with the other--"go to America one of +these days myself." + +"Poor old England is not such a bad country, after all," said a third, a +simple-looking man in a labouring dress, who sat smoking a pipe without +anything before him. "If there was but a little more work to be got, I +should have nothing to say against her; I hope, however--" + +"You hope! who cares what you hope?" interrupted the first, in a savage +tone; "you are one of those sneaking hounds who are satisfied with dogs' +wages--a bit of bread and a kick. Work, indeed! who, with the spirit of +a man, would work for a country where there is neither liberty of speech, +nor of action? a land full of beggarly aristocracy, hungry +borough-mongers, insolent parsons, and 'their . . . wives and daughters,' +as William Cobbett says, in his 'Register.'" + +"Ah, the Church of England has been a source of incalculable mischief to +these realms," said another. + +The person who uttered these words sat rather aloof from the rest; he was +dressed in a long black surtout. I could not see much of his face, +partly owing to his keeping it very much directed to the ground, and +partly owing to a large slouched hat which he wore; I observed, however, +that his hair was of a reddish tinge. On the table near him was a glass +and spoon. + +"You are quite right," said the first, alluding to what this last had +said, "the Church of England has done incalculable mischief here. I +value no religion three halfpence, for I believe in none; but the one +that I hate most is the Church of England; so when I get to New York, +after I have shown the fine fellows on the quay a spice of me, by --- the +King, I'll toss up my hat again, and --- the Church of England too." + +"And suppose the people of New York should clap you in the stocks?" said +I. + +These words drew upon me the attention of the whole four. The Radical +and his companion stared at me ferociously; the man in black gave me a +peculiar glance from under his slouched hat; the simple-looking man in +the labouring dress laughed. + +"What are you laughing at, you fool?" said the Radical, turning and +looking at the other, who appeared to be afraid of him; "hold your noise; +and a pretty fellow, you," said he, looking at me, "to come here, and +speak against the great American nation." + +"I speak against the great American nation!" said I; "I rather paid them +a compliment." + +"By supposing they would put me in the stocks! Well, I call it abusing +them, to suppose they would do any such thing--stocks, indeed!--there are +no stocks in all the land. Put me in the stocks! why, the President will +come down to the quay, and ask me to dinner, as soon as he hears what I +have said about the King and Church." + +"I shouldn't wonder," said I, "if you go to America you will say of the +President and country, what now you say of the King and Church, and cry +out for somebody to send you back to England." + +The Radical dashed his pipe to pieces against the table. "I tell you +what, young fellow, you are a spy of the aristocracy, sent here to kick +up a disturbance." + +"Kicking up a disturbance," said I, "is rather inconsistent with the +office of spy. If I were a spy, I should hold my head down, and say +nothing." + +The man in black partially raised his head, and gave me another peculiar +glance. + +"Well, if you ar'n't sent to spy, you are sent to bully, to prevent +people speaking, and to run down the great American nation; but you +shan't bully me. I say, down with the aristocracy, the beggarly British +aristocracy. Come, what have you to say to that?" + +"Nothing," said I. + +"Nothing!" repeated the Radical. + +"No," said I; "down with them as soon as you can." + +"As soon as I can! I wish I could. But I can down with a bully of +theirs. Come, will you fight for them?" + +"No," said I. + +"You won't?" + +"No," said I; "though, from what I have seen of them, I should say they +are tolerably able to fight for themselves." + +"You won't fight for them," said the Radical, triumphantly; "I thought +so; all bullies, especially those of the aristocracy, are cowards. Here, +landlord," said he, raising his voice, and striking against the table +with the jug, "some more ale--he won't fight for his friends." + +"A white feather," said his companion. + +"He! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Landlord, landlord!" shouted the Radical, striking the table with the +jug louder than before. "Who called?" said the landlord, coming in at +last. "Fill this jug again," said the other, "and be quick about it." +"Does any one else want anything?" said the landlord. "Yes," said the +man in black; "you may bring me another glass of gin and water." "Cold?" +said the landlord. "Yes," said the man in black, "with a lump of sugar +in it." + +"Gin and water cold, with a lump of sugar in it," said I, and struck the +table with my fist. + +"Take some?" said the landlord, inquiringly. + +"No," said I, "only something came into my head." + +"He's mad," said the man in black. + +"Not he," said the Radical. "He's only shamming; he knows his master is +here, and therefore has recourse to these manoeuvres, but it won't do. +Come, landlord, what are you staring at? Why don't you obey your orders? +Keeping your customers waiting in this manner is not the way to increase +your business." + +The landlord looked at the Radical, and then at me. At last, taking the +jug and glass he left the apartment, and presently returned with each +filled with its respective liquor. He placed the jug with beer before +the Radical, and the glass with gin and water before the man in black, +and then, with a wink to me, he sauntered out. + +"Here is your health, sir," said the man of the snuff-coloured coat, +addressing himself to the one in black; "I honour you for what you said +about the Church of England. Every one who speaks against the Church of +England has my warm heart. Down with it, I say, and may the stones of it +be used for mending the roads, as my friend William says in his +'Register.'" + +The man in black, with a courteous nod of his head, drank to the man in +the snuff-coloured coat. "With respect to the steeples," said he, "I am +not altogether of your opinion; they might be turned to better account +than to serve to mend the roads; they might still be used as places of +worship, but not for the worship of the Church of England. I have no +fault to find with the steeples, it is the Church itself which I am +compelled to arraign; but it will not stand long, the respectable part of +its ministers are already leaving it. It is a bad Church, a persecuting +Church." + +"Whom does it persecute?" said I. + +The man in black glanced at me slightly, and then replied slowly, "The +Catholics." + +"And do those whom you call Catholics never persecute?" said I. + +"Never," said the man in black. + +"Did you ever read 'Fox's Book of Martyrs'?" said I. + +"He! he!" tittered the man in black, "there is not a word of truth in +'Fox's Book of Martyrs.'" + +"Ten times more than in the 'Flos Sanctorum,'" said I. + +The man in black looked at me, but made no answer. + +"And what say you to the Massacre of the Albigenses and the Vaudois, +'whose bones lie scattered on the cold Alp,' or the Revocation of the +Edict of Nantes?" + +The man in black made no answer. + +"Go to," said I, "it is because the Church of England is not a +persecuting Church, that those whom you call the respectable part are +leaving her; it is because they can't do with the poor Dissenters what +Simon de Montfort did with the Albigenses, and the cruel Piedmontese with +the Vaudois, that they turn to bloody Rome; the Pope will no doubt +welcome them, for the Pope, do you see, being very much in want, will +welcome--" + +"Hallo!" said the Radical, interfering, "what are you saying about the +Pope? I say, Hurrah for the Pope; I value no religion three halfpence, +as I said before, but if I were to adopt any, it should be the popish as +it's called, because I conceives the popish to be the grand enemy of the +Church of England, of the beggarly aristocracy, and the borough-monger +system, so I won't hear the Pope abused while I am by. Come, don't look +fierce. You won't fight, you know, I have proved it; but I will give you +another chance--I will fight for the Pope, will you fight against him?" + +"Oh dear me, yes," said I, getting up and stepping forward. "I am a +quiet peaceable young man, and, being so, am always ready to fight +against the Pope--the enemy of all peace and quiet; to refuse fighting +for the aristocracy is a widely different thing from refusing to fight +against the Pope; so come on, if you are disposed to fight for him. To +the Pope broken bells, to Saint James broken shells. No popish vile +oppression, but the Protestant succession. Confusion to the Groyne, +hurrah for the Boyne, for the army at Clonmel, and the Protestant young +gentlemen who live there as well." + +"An Orangeman," said the man in black. + +"Not a Platitude," said I. + +The man in black gave a slight start. + +"Amongst that family," said I, "no doubt, something may be done, but +amongst the Methodist preachers I should conceive that the success would +not be great." + +The man in black sat quite still. + +"Especially amongst those who have wives," I added. + +The man in black stretched his hand towards his gin and water. + +"However," said I, "we shall see what the grand movement will bring +about, and the results of the lessons in elocution." + +The man in black lifted the glass up to his mouth, and, in doing so, let +the spoon fall. + +"But what has this to do with the main question?" said I; "I am waiting +here to fight against the Pope." + +"Come, Hunter," said the companion of the man in the snuff-coloured coat, +"get up, and fight for the Pope." + +"I don't care for the young fellow," said the man in the snuff-coloured +coat. + +"I know you don't," said the other, "so get up, and serve him out." + +"I could serve out three like him," said the man in the snuff-coloured +coat. + +"So much the better for you," said the other, "the present work will be +all the easier for you; get up, and serve him out at once." + +The man in the snuff-coloured coat did not stir. + +"Who shows the white feather now?" said the simple-looking man. + +"He! he! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Who told you to interfere?" said the Radical, turning ferociously +towards the simple-looking man; "say another word, and I'll . . . " "And +you!" said he, addressing himself to the man in black, "a pretty fellow +you to turn against me, after I had taken your part! I tell you what, +you may fight for yourself. I'll see you and your Pope in the pit of +Eldon, before I fight for either of you, so make the most of it." + +"Then you won't fight?" said I. + +"Not for the Pope," said the Radical; "I'll see the Pope--" + +"Dear me!" said I, "not fight for the Pope, whose religion you would turn +to, if you were inclined for any! I see how it is, you are not fond of +fighting; but I'll give you another chance--you were abusing the Church +of England just now: I'll fight for it--will you fight against it?" + +"Come, Hunter," said the other, "get up, and fight against the Church of +England." + +"I have no particular quarrel against the Church of England," said the +man in the snuff-coloured coat, "my quarrel is with the aristocracy. If +I said anything against the Church, it was merely for a bit of corollary, +as Master William Cobbett would say; the quarrel with the Church belongs +to this fellow in black; so let him carry it on. However," he continued +suddenly, "I won't slink from the matter either; it shall never be said +by the fine fellows on the quay of New York, that I wouldn't fight +against the Church of England. So down with the beggarly aristocracy, +the Church, and the Pope, to the bottom of the pit of Eldon, and may the +Pope fall first, and the others upon him." + +Thereupon, dashing his hat on the table, he placed himself in an attitude +of offence, and rushed forward. He was, as I have said before, a +powerful fellow, and might have proved a dangerous antagonist, more +especially to myself, who, after my recent encounter with the Flaming +Tinman, and my wrestlings with the evil one, was in anything but fighting +order. Any collision, however, was prevented by the landlord, who, +suddenly appearing, thrust himself between us. "There shall be no +fighting here," said he; "no one shall fight in this house, except it be +with myself; so if you two have anything to say to each other, you had +better go into the field behind the house. But, you fool," said he, +pushing Hunter violently on the breast, "do you know whom you are going +to tackle with?--this is the young chap that beat Blazing Bosville, only +as late as yesterday, in Mumpers' Dingle. Grey Moll told me all about it +last night, when she came for some brandy for her husband, who, she said, +had been half killed; and she described the young man to me so closely, +that I knew him at once, that is, as soon as I saw how his left hand was +bruised, for she told me he was a left-hand hitter. Ar'n't it all true, +young man? Ar'n't you he that beat Flaming Bosville in Mumpers' Dingle?" +"I never beat Flaming Bosville," said I, "he beat himself. Had he not +struck his hand against a tree, I shouldn't be here at the present +moment." "Hear! hear!" said the landlord; "now that's just as it should +be; I like a modest man, for, as the parson says, nothing sits better +upon a young man than modesty. I remember, when I was young, fighting +with Tom of Hopton, the best man that ever pulled off coat in England. I +remember, too, that I won the battle; for I happened to hit Tom of Hopton +in the mark, as he was coming in, so that he lost his wind, and falling +squelch on the ground, do ye see, he lost the battle, though I am free to +confess that he was a better man than myself; indeed, the best man that +ever fought in England; yet still I won the battle, as every customer of +mine, and everybody within twelve miles round, has heard over and over +again. Now, Mr. Hunter, I have one thing to say, if you choose to go +into the field behind the house, and fight the young man, you can. I'll +back him for ten pounds; but no fighting in my kitchen--because why? I +keeps a decent kind of an establishment." + +"I have no wish to fight the young man," said Hunter; "more especially as +he has nothing to say for the aristocracy. If he chose to fight for +them, indeed--but he won't, I know: for I see he's a decent, respectable +young man; and, after all, fighting is a blackguard way of settling a +dispute; so I have no wish to fight; however, there is one thing I'll +do," said he, uplifting his fist, "I'll fight this fellow in black here +for half-a-crown, or for nothing, if he pleases; it was he that got up +the last dispute between me and the young man, with his Pope and his +nonsense; so I will fight him for anything he pleases, and perhaps the +young man will be my second; whilst you--" + +"Come, Doctor," said the landlord, "or whatsoever you be, will you go +into the field with Hunter? I'll second you, only you must back +yourself. I'll lay five pounds on Hunter, if you are inclined to back +yourself; and will help you to win it as far, do you see, as a second +can; because why? I always likes to do the fair thing." + +"Oh! I have no wish to fight," said the man in black, hastily; "fighting +is not my trade. If I have given any offence, I beg anybody's pardon." + +"Landlord," said I, "what have I to pay?" + +"Nothing at all," said the landlord; "glad to see you. This is the first +time that you have been at my house, and I never charge new customers, at +least customers such as you, anything for the first draught. You'll come +again, I dare say; shall always be glad to see you. I won't take it," +said he, as I put sixpence on the table; "I won't take it." + +"Yes, you shall," said I; "but not in payment for anything I have had +myself: it shall serve to pay for a jug of ale for that gentleman," said +I, pointing to the simple-looking individual; "he is smoking a poor pipe. +I do not mean to say that a pipe is a bad thing; but a pipe without ale, +do you see--" + +"Bravo!" said the landlord, "that's just the conduct I like." + +"Bravo!" said Hunter. "I shall be happy to drink with the young man +whenever I meet him at New York, where, do you see, things are better +managed than here." + +"If I have given offence to anybody," said the man in black, "I repeat +that I ask pardon,--more especially to the young gentleman, who was +perfectly right to stand up for his religion, just as I--not that I am of +any particular religion, no more than this honest gentleman here," bowing +to Hunter; "but I happen to know something of the Catholics--several +excellent friends of mine are Catholics--and of a surety the Catholic +religion is an ancient religion, and a widely-extended religion, though +it certainly is not a universal religion, but it has of late made +considerable progress, even amongst those nations who have been +particularly opposed to it--amongst the Prussians and the Dutch, for +example, to say nothing of the English; and then, in the East, amongst +the Persians, amongst the Armenians." + +"The Armenians," said I; "Oh dear me, the Armenians--" + +"Have you anything to say about these people, sir?" said the man in +black, lifting up his glass to his mouth. + +"I have nothing farther to say," said I, "than that the roots of Ararat +are occasionally found to be deeper than those of Rome." + +"There's half-a-crown broke," said the landlord, as the man in black let +fall the glass, which was broken to pieces on the floor. "You will pay +me the damage, friend, before you leave this kitchen. I like to see +people drink freely in my kitchen, but not too freely, and I hate +breakages; because why? I keeps a decent kind of an establishment." + + + + +CHAPTER LXXXIX + + +The Dingle--Give them Ale--Not over Complimentary--America--Many +People--Washington--Promiscuous Company--Language of the Roads--The Old +Women--Numerals--The Man in Black. + +The public-house where the scenes which I have attempted to describe in +the preceding chapters took place, was at the distance of about two miles +from the dingle. The sun was sinking in the west by the time I returned +to the latter spot. I found Belle seated by a fire, over which her +kettle was suspended. During my absence she had prepared herself a kind +of tent, consisting of large hoops covered over with tarpaulin, quite +impenetrable to rain, however violent. "I am glad you are returned," +said she, as soon as she perceived me; "I began to be anxious about you. +Did you take my advice?" + +"Yes," said I; "I went to the public-house and drank ale, as you advised +me; it cheered, strengthened, and drove away the horror from my mind--I +am much beholden to you." + +"I knew it would do you good," said Belle, "I remembered that when the +poor women in the great house were afflicted with hysterics, and fearful +imaginings, the surgeon, who was a good, kind man, used to say, 'Ale, +give them ale, and let it be strong.'" + +"He was no advocate for tea, then?" said I. + +"He had no objection to tea; but he used to say, 'Everything in its +season.' Shall we take ours now?--I have waited for you." + +"I have no objection," said I; "I feel rather heated, and at present +should prefer tea to ale--'Everything in its season,' as the surgeon +said." + +Thereupon Belle prepared tea, and, as we were taking it, she said, "What +did you see and hear at the public-house?" + +"Really," said I, "you appear to have your full portion of curiosity; +what matters it to you what I saw and heard at the public-house?" + +"It matters very little to me," said Belle; "I merely inquired of you, +for the sake of a little conversation--you were silent, and it is +uncomfortable for two people to sit together without opening their +lips--at least I think so." + +"One only feels uncomfortable," said I, "in being silent, when one +happens to be thinking of the individual with whom one is in company. To +tell you the truth, I was not thinking of my companion, but of certain +company with whom I had been at the public-house." + +"Really, young man," said Belle, "you are not over complimentary; but who +may this wonderful company have been--some young . . .?" and here Belle +stopped. + +"No," said I, "there was no young person--if person you were going to +say. There was a big portly landlord, whom I dare say you have seen; a +noisy savage Radical, who wanted at first to fasten upon me a quarrel +about America, but who subsequently drew in his horns; then there was a +strange fellow, a prowling priest, I believe, whom I have frequently +heard of, who at first seemed disposed to side with the Radical against +me, and afterwards with me against the Radical. There, you know my +company, and what took place." + +"Was there no one else?" said Belle. + +"You are mighty curious," said I. "No, none else, except a poor simple +mechanic, and some common company, who soon went away." + +Belle looked at me for a moment, and then appeared to be lost in +thought--"America!" said she, musingly--"America!" + +"What of America?" said I. + +"I have heard that it is a mighty country." + +"I dare say it is," said I; "I have heard my father say that the +Americans are first-rate marksmen." + +"I heard nothing about that," said Belle; "what I heard was, that it is a +great and goodly land, where people can walk about without jostling, and +where the industrious can always find bread; I have frequently thought of +going thither." + +"Well," said I, "the Radical in the public-house will perhaps be glad of +your company thither; he is as great an admirer of America as yourself, +though I believe on different grounds." + +"I shall go by myself," said Belle, "unless--unless that should happen +which is not likely--I am not fond of Radicals no more than I am of +scoffers and mockers." + +"Do you mean to say that I am a scoffer and mocker?" + +"I don't wish to say you are," said Belle; "but some of your words sound +strangely like scoffing and mocking. I have now one thing to beg, which +is, that if you have anything to say against America, you would speak it +out boldly." + +"What should I have to say against America? I never was there." + +"Many people speak against America who never were there." + +"Many people speak in praise of America who never were there; but with +respect to myself, I have not spoken for or against America." + +"If you liked America you would speak in its praise." + +"By the same rule, if I disliked America I should speak against it." + +"I can't speak with you," said Belle; "but I see you dislike the +country." + +"The country!" + +"Well, the people--don't you?" + +"I do." + +"Why do you dislike them?" + +"Why I have heard my father say that the American marksmen, led on by a +chap of the name of Washington, sent the English to the right-about in +double-quick time." + +"And that is your reason for disliking the Americans?" + +"Yes," said I, "that is my reason for disliking them." + +"Will you take another cup of tea?" said Belle. + +I took another cup; we were again silent. "It is rather uncomfortable," +said I, at last, "for people to sit together without having anything to +say." + +"Were you thinking of your company?" said Belle. + +"What company?" said I. + +"The present company." + +"The present company! oh, ah--I remember that I said one only feels +uncomfortable in being silent with a companion, when one happens to be +thinking of the companion. Well, I had been thinking of you the last two +or three minutes, and had just come to the conclusion, that to prevent us +both feeling occasionally uncomfortably towards each other, having +nothing to say, it would be as well to have a standing subject, on which +to employ our tongues. Belle, I have determined to give you lessons in +Armenian." + +"What is Armenian?" + +"Did you ever hear of Ararat?" + +"Yes, that was the place where the ark rested; I have heard the chaplain +in the great house talk of it; besides, I have read of it in the Bible." + +"Well, Armenian is the speech of people of that place, and I should like +to teach it you." + +"To prevent--" + +"Ay, ay, to prevent our occasionally feeling uncomfortable together. Your +acquiring it besides might prove of ulterior advantage to us both; for +example, suppose you and I were in promiscuous company,--at Court, for +example,--and you had something to communicate to me which you did not +wish any one else to be acquainted with, how safely you might communicate +it to me in Armenian." + +"Would not the language of the roads do as well?" said Belle. + +"In some places it would," said I, "but not at Court, owing to its +resemblance to thieves' slang. There is Hebrew, again, which I was +thinking of teaching you, till the idea of being presented at Court made +me abandon it, from the probability of our being understood, in the event +of our speaking it, by at least half a dozen people in our vicinity. +There is Latin, it is true, or Greek, which we might speak aloud at Court +with perfect confidence of safety, but upon the whole I should prefer +teaching you Armenian, not because it would be a safer language to hold +communication with at Court, but because, not being very well grounded in +it myself, I am apprehensive that its words and forms may escape from my +recollection, unless I have sometimes occasion to call them forth." + +"I am afraid we shall have to part company before I have learnt it," said +Belle; "in the meantime, if I wish to say anything to you in private, +somebody being by, shall I speak in the language of the roads?" + +"If no roadster is nigh you may," said I, "and I will do my best to +understand you. Belle, I will now give you a lesson in Armenian." + +"I suppose you mean no harm," said Belle. + +"Not in the least; I merely propose the thing to prevent our occasionally +feeling uncomfortable together. Let us begin." + +"Stop till I have removed the tea-things," said Belle; and, getting up, +she removed them to her own encampment. + +"I am ready," said Belle, returning, and taking her former seat, "to join +with you in anything which will serve to pass away the time agreeably, +provided there is no harm in it." + +"Belle," said I, "I have determined to commence the course of Armenian +lessons by teaching you the numerals; but, before I do that, it will be +as well to tell you that the Armenian language is called Haik." + +"I am sure that word will hang upon my memory," said Belle. + +"Why hang upon it?" said I. + +"Because the old women in the great house used to call so the chimney- +hook, on which they hung the kettle; in like manner, on the hake of my +memory I will hang your hake." + +"Good!" said I, "you will make an apt scholar; but mind that I did not +say hake, but haik; the words are, however, very much alike; and, as you +observe, upon your hake you may hang my haik. We will now proceed to the +numerals." + +"What are numerals?" said Belle. + +"Numbers. I will say the Haikan numbers up to ten. There--have you +heard them?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, try and repeat them." + +"I only remember number one," said Belle, "and that because it is me." + +"I will repeat them again," said I, "and pay greater attention. Now, try +again." + +"Me, jergo, earache." + +"I neither said jergo, nor earache. I said yergou and yerek. Belle, I +am afraid I shall have some difficulty with you as a scholar." + +Belle made no answer. Her eyes were turned in the direction of the +winding path which led from the bottom of the hollow, where we were +seated, to the plain above. "Gorgio shunella," {324a} she said, at +length, in a low voice. + +"Pure Rommany," said I; "where?" I added, in a whisper. + +"Dovey odoi," {324b} said Belle, nodding with her head towards the path. + +"I will soon see who it is," said I; and starting up, I rushed towards +the pathway, intending to lay violent hands on any one I might find +lurking in its windings. Before, however, I had reached its +commencement, a man, somewhat above the middle height, advanced from it +into the dingle, in whom I recognised the man in black whom I had seen in +the public-house. + + + + +CHAPTER XC + + +Buona Sera--Rather Apprehensive--The Steep Bank--Lovely +Virgin--Hospitality--Tory Minister--Custom of the Country--Sneering +Smile--Wandering Zigan--Gypsies' Cloaks--Certain Faculty--Acute +Answer--Various Ways--Addio--Best Hollands. + +The man in black and myself stood opposite to each other for a minute or +two in silence; I will not say that we confronted each other that time, +for the man in black, after a furtive glance, did not look me in the +face, but kept his eyes fixed, apparently on the leaves of a bunch of +ground nuts which were growing at my feet. At length, looking around the +dingle, he exclaimed, "Buona sera, I hope I don't intrude." + +"You have as much right here," said I, "as I or my companion; but you had +no right to stand listening to our conversation." + +"I was not listening," said the man; "I was hesitating whether to advance +or retire; and if I heard some of your conversation, the fault was not +mine." + +"I do not see why you should have hesitated if your intentions were +good," said I. + +"I think the kind of place in which I found myself might excuse some +hesitation," said the man in black, looking around; "moreover, from what +I had seen of your demeanour at the public-house, I was rather +apprehensive that the reception I might experience at your hands might be +more rough than agreeable." + +"And what may have been your motive for coming to this place?" said I. + +"Per far visita a sua signoria, ecco il motivo." + +"Why do you speak to me in that gibberish?" said I; "do you think I +understand it?" + +"It is not Armenian," said the man in black; "but it might serve, in a +place like this, for the breathing of a little secret communication, were +any common roadster near at hand. It would not do at Court, it is true, +being the language of singing women, and the like; but we are not at +Court--when we are, I can perhaps summon up a little indifferent Latin, +if I have anything private to communicate to the learned Professor." + +And at the conclusion of this speech the man in black lifted up his head, +and, for some moments, looked me in the face. The muscles of his own +seemed to be slightly convulsed, and his mouth opened in a singular +manner. + +"I see," said I, "that for some time you were standing near me and my +companion, in the mean act of listening." + +"Not at all," said the man in black; "I heard from the steep bank above, +that to which I have now alluded, whilst I was puzzling myself to find +the path which leads to your retreat. I made, indeed, nearly the compass +of the whole thicket before I found it." + +"And how did you know that I was here?" I demanded. + +"The landlord of the public-house, with whom I had some conversation +concerning you, informed me that he had no doubt I should find you in +this place, to which he gave me instructions not very clear. But, now I +am here, I crave permission to remain a little time, in order that I may +hold some communion with you." + +"Well," said I, "since you are come, you are welcome; please to step this +way." + +Thereupon I conducted the man in black to the fireplace, where Belle was +standing, who had risen from her stool on my springing up to go in quest +of the stranger. The man in black looked at her with evident curiosity, +then making her rather a graceful bow, "Lovely virgin," said he, +stretching out his hand, "allow me to salute your fingers." + +"I am not in the habit of shaking hands with strangers," said Belle. + +"I did not presume to request to shake hands with you," said the man in +black, "I merely wished to be permitted to salute with my lips the +extremity of your two forefingers." + +"I never permit anything of the kind," said Belle; "I do not approve of +such unmanly ways, they are only befitting those who lurk in corners or +behind trees, listening to the conversation of people who would fain be +private." + +"Do you take me for a listener then?" said the man in black. + +"Ay, indeed I do," said Belle; "the young man may receive your excuses, +and put confidence in them if he please, but for my part I neither admit +them, nor believe them;" and thereupon flinging her long hair back, which +was hanging over her cheeks, she seated herself on her stool. + +"Come, Belle," said I, "I have bidden the gentleman welcome; I beseech +you, therefore, to make him welcome; he is a stranger, where we are at +home, therefore, even did we wish him away, we are bound to treat him +kindly." + +"That's not English doctrine," said the man in black. + +"I thought the English prided themselves on their hospitality," said I. + +"They do so," said the man in black; "they are proud of showing +hospitality to people above them, that is, to those who do not want it, +but of the hospitality which you were now describing, and which is +Arabian, they know nothing. No Englishman will tolerate another in his +house, from whom he does not expect advantage of some kind, and to those +from whom he does, he can be civil enough. An Englishman thinks that, +because he is in his own house, he has a right to be boorish and brutal +to any one who is disagreeable to him, as all those are who are really in +want of assistance. Should a hunted fugitive rush into an Englishman's +house, beseeching protection, and appealing to the master's feelings of +hospitality, the Englishman would knock him down in the passage." + +"You are too general," said I, "in your strictures. Lord ---, the +unpopular Tory minister, was once chased through the streets of London by +a mob, and, being in danger of his life, took shelter in the shop of a +Whig linendraper, declaring his own unpopular name, and appealing to the +linendraper's feelings of hospitality; whereupon the linendraper, utterly +forgetful of all party rancour, nobly responded to the appeal, and +telling his wife to conduct his lordship upstairs, jumped over the +counter, with his ell in his hand, and placing himself with half a dozen +of his assistants at the door of his boutique, manfully confronted the +mob, telling them that he would allow himself to be torn to a thousand +pieces, ere he would permit them to injure a hair of his lordship's head: +what do you think of that?" + +"He! he! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Well," said I, "I am afraid your own practice is not very different from +that which you have been just now describing; you sided with the Radical +in the public-house against me as long as you thought him the most +powerful, and then turned against him when you saw he was cowed. What +have you to say to that?" + +"Oh! when one is in Rome, I mean England, one must do as they do in +England; I was merely conforming to the custom of the country, he! he! +but I beg your pardon here, as I did in the public-house. I made a +mistake." + +"Well," said I, "we will drop the matter, but pray seat yourself on that +stone, and I will sit down on the grass near you." + +The man in black, after proffering two or three excuses for occupying +what he supposed to be my seat, sat down upon the stone, and I squatted +down, Gypsy fashion, just opposite to him, Belle sitting on her stool at +a slight distance on my right. After a time I addressed him thus: "Am I +to reckon this a mere visit of ceremony? should it prove so, it will be, +I believe, the first visit of the kind ever paid me." + +"Will you permit me to ask," said the man in black . . . "the weather is +very warm," said he, interrupting himself, and taking off his hat. + +I now observed that he was partly bald, his red hair having died away +from the fore part of his crown--his forehead was high, his eyebrows +scanty, his eyes grey and sly, with a downward tendency, his nose was +slightly aquiline, his mouth rather large--a kind of sneering smile +played continually on his lips, his complexion was somewhat rubicund. + +"A bad countenance," said Belle, in the language of the roads, observing +that my eyes were fixed on his face. + +"Does not my countenance please you, fair damsel?" said the man in black, +resuming his hat, and speaking in a peculiarly gentle voice. + +"How," said I, "do you understand the language of the roads?" + +"As little as I do Armenian," said the man in black; "but I understand +look and tone." + +"So do I, perhaps," retorted Belle; "and, to tell you the truth, I like +your tone as little as your face." + +"For shame," said I; "have you forgot what I was saying just now about +the duties of hospitality? You have not yet answered my question," said +I, addressing myself to the man, "with respect to your visit." + +"Will you permit me to ask who you are?" + +"Do you see the place where I live?" said I. + +"I do," said the man in black, looking around. + +"Do you know the name of this place?" + +"I was told it was Mumpers' {330} or Gypsies' Dingle," said the man in +black. + +"Good," said I; "and this forge and tent, what do they look like?" + +"Like the forge and tent of a wandering Zigan; I have seen the like in +Italy." + +"Good," said I; "they belong to me." + +"Are you, then, a Gypsy?" said the man in black. + +"What else should I be?" + +"But you seem to have been acquainted with various individuals with whom +I have likewise had acquaintance; and you have even alluded to matters, +and even words, which have passed between me and them." + +"Do you know how Gypsies live?" said I. + +"By hammering old iron, I believe, and telling fortunes." + +"Well," said I, "there's my forge, and yonder is some iron, though not +old, and by your own confession I am a soothsayer." + +"But how did you come by your knowledge?" + +"Oh," said I, "if you want me to reveal the secrets of my trade, I have, +of course, nothing farther to say. Go to the scarlet dyer, and ask him +how he dyes cloth." + +"Why scarlet?" said the man in black. "Is it because Gypsies blush like +scarlet?" + +"Gypsies never blush," said I; "but Gypsies' cloaks are scarlet." + +"I should almost take you for a Gypsy," said the man in black, "but for--" + +"For what?" said I. + +"But for that same lesson in Armenian, and your general knowledge of +languages; as for your manners and appearance I will say nothing," said +the man in black, with a titter. + +"And why should not a Gypsy possess a knowledge of languages?" said I. + +"Because the Gypsy race is perfectly illiterate," said the man in black; +"they are possessed, it is true, of a knavish acuteness, and are +particularly noted for giving subtle and evasive answers--and in your +answers, I confess, you remind me of them; but that one of the race +should acquire a learned language like the Armenian, and have a general +knowledge of literature, is a thing _che io non credo afatto_." + +"What do you take me for?" said I. + +"Why," said the man in black, "I should consider you to be a philologist, +who, for some purpose, has taken up a Gypsy life; but I confess to you +that your way of answering questions is far too acute for a philologist." + +"And why should not a philologist be able to answer questions acutely?" +said I. + +"Because the philological race is the most stupid under heaven," said the +man in black; "they are possessed, it is true, of a certain faculty for +picking up words, and a memory for retaining them; but that any one of +the sect should be able to give a rational answer, to say nothing of an +acute one, on any subject--even though the subject were philology--is a +thing of which I have no idea." + +"But you found me giving a lesson in Armenian to this handmaid?" + +"I believe I did," said the man in black. + +"And you heard me give what you are disposed to call acute answers to the +questions you asked me?" + +"I believe I did," said the man in black. + +"And would any one but a philologist think of giving a lesson in Armenian +to a handmaid in a dingle?" + +"I should think not," said the man in black. + +"Well, then, don't you see that it is possible for a philologist to give +not only a rational, but an acute answer?" + +"I really don't know," said the man in black. + +"What's the matter with you?" said I. + +"Merely puzzled," said the man in black. + +"Puzzled?" + +"Yes." + +"Really puzzled?" + +"Yes." + +"Remain so." + +"Well," said the man in black, rising, "puzzled or not, I will no longer +trespass upon your and this young lady's retirement; only allow me, +before I go, to apologise for my intrusion." + +"No apology is necessary," said I; "will you please to take anything +before you go? I think this young lady, at my request, would contrive to +make you a cup of tea." + +"Tea!" said the man in black; "he! he! I don't drink tea; I don't like +it--if, indeed, you had . . . " and here he stopped. + +"There's nothing like gin and water, is there?" said I, "but I am sorry +to say I have none." + +"Gin and water," said the man in black; "how do you know that I am fond +of gin and water?" + +"Did I not see you drinking some at the public-house?" + +"You did," said the man in black, "and I remember that, when I called for +some, you repeated my words. Permit me to ask, is gin and water an +unusual drink in England?" + +"It is not usually drunk cold, and with a lump of sugar," said I. + +"And did you know who I was by my calling for it so?" + +"Gypsies have various ways of obtaining information," said I. + +"With all your knowledge," said the man in black, "you do not appear to +have known that I was coming to visit you?" + +"Gypsies do not pretend to know anything which relates to themselves," +said I; "but I advise you, if you ever come again, to come openly." + +"Have I your permission to come again?" said the man in black. + +"Come when you please; this dingle is as free for you as me." + +"I will visit you again," said the man in black--"till then, addio." + +"Belle," said I, after the man in black had departed, "we did not treat +that man very hospitably; he left us without having eaten or drunk at our +expense." + +"You offered him some tea," said Belle, "which, as it is mine, I should +have grudged him, for I like him not." + +"Our liking or disliking him had nothing to do with the matter; he was +our visitor and ought not to have been permitted to depart dry; living as +we do in this desert, we ought always to be prepared to administer to the +wants of our visitors. Belle, do you know where to procure any good +Hollands?" + +"I think I do," said Belle, "but--" + +"I will have no buts. Belle, I expect that with as little delay as +possible you procure, at my expense, the best Hollands you can find." + + + + +CHAPTER XCI + + +Excursions--Adventurous English--Opaque Forests--The Greatest Patience. + +Time passed on, and Belle and I lived in the dingle; when I say lived, +the reader must not imagine that we were always there. She went out upon +her pursuits, and I went out where inclination led me; but my excursions +were very short ones, and hers occasionally occupied whole days and +nights. If I am asked how we passed the time when we were together in +the dingle, I would answer that we passed the time very tolerably, all +things considered; we conversed together, and when tired of conversing I +would sometimes give Belle a lesson in Armenian; her progress was not +particularly brilliant, but upon the whole satisfactory; in about a +fortnight she had hung up one hundred Haikan numerals upon the hake of +her memory. I found her conversation highly entertaining; she had seen +much of England and Wales, and had been acquainted with some of the most +remarkable characters who travelled the roads at that period; and let me +be permitted to say that many remarkable characters have travelled the +roads of England, of whom fame has never said a word. I loved to hear +her anecdotes of these people; some of whom I found had occasionally +attempted to lay violent hands either upon her person or effects, and had +invariably been humbled by her without the assistance of either justice +or constable. I could clearly see, however, that she was rather tired of +England, and wished for a change of scene; she was particularly fond of +talking of America, to which country her aspirations chiefly tended. She +had heard much of America, which had excited her imagination; for at that +time America was much talked of, on roads and in homesteads--at least, so +said Belle, who had good opportunities of knowing--and most people +allowed that it was a good country for adventurous English. The people +who chiefly spoke against it, as she informed me, were soldiers disbanded +upon pensions, the sextons of village churches, and excisemen. Belle had +a craving desire to visit that country, and to wander with cart and +little animal amongst its forests: when I would occasionally object, that +she would be exposed to danger from strange and perverse customers, she +said that she had not wandered the roads of England so long and alone, to +be afraid of anything which might befall in America; and that she hoped, +with God's favour, to be able to take her own part, and to give to +perverse customers as good as they might bring. She had a dauntless +heart, that same Belle. Such was the staple of Belle's conversation. As +for mine, I would endeavour to entertain her with strange dreams of +adventure, in which I figured in opaque forests, strangling wild beasts, +or discovering and plundering the hordes of dragons; and sometimes I +would narrate to her other things far more genuine--how I had tamed +savage mares, wrestled with Satan, and had dealings with ferocious +publishers. Belle had a kind heart, and would weep at the accounts I +gave her of my early wrestlings with the dark Monarch. She would sigh, +too, as I recounted the many slights and degradations I had received at +the hands of ferocious publishers; but she had the curiosity of a woman; +and once, when I talked to her of the triumphs which I had achieved over +unbroken mares, she lifted up her head and questioned me as to the secret +of the virtue which I possessed over the aforesaid animals; whereupon I +sternly reprimanded, and forthwith commanded her to repeat the Armenian +numerals; and, on her demurring, I made use of words, to escape which she +was glad to comply, saying the Armenian numerals from one to a hundred, +which numerals, as a punishment for her curiosity, I made her repeat +three times, loading her with the bitterest reproaches whenever she +committed the slightest error, either in accent or pronunciation, which +reproaches she appeared to bear with the greatest patience. And now I +have given a very fair account of the manner in which Isopel Berners and +myself passed our time in the dingle. + + + + +CHAPTER XCII + + +The Landlord--Rather Too Old--Without a Shilling--Reputation--A Fortnight +Ago--Liquids--The Main Chance--Respectability--Irrational +Beings--Parliament Cove--My Brewer. + +Amongst other excursions, I went several times to the public-house to +which I introduced the reader in a former chapter. I had experienced +such beneficial effects from the ale I had drunk on that occasion, that I +wished to put its virtue to a frequent test; nor did the ale on +subsequent trials belie the good opinion which I had at first formed of +it. After each visit which I made to the public-house, I found my frame +stronger and my mind more cheerful than they had previously been. The +landlord appeared at all times glad to see me, and insisted that I should +sit within the bar, where, leaving his other guests to be attended to by +a niece of his, who officiated as his housekeeper, he would sit beside me +and talk of matters concerning "the ring," indulging himself with a cigar +and a glass of sherry, which he told me was his favourite wine, whilst I +drank my ale. "I loves the conversation of all you coves of the ring," +said he once, "which is natural, seeing as how I have fought in a ring +myself. Ah, there is nothing like the ring; I wish I was not rather too +old to go again into it. I often think I should like to have another +rally--one more rally, and then--but there's a time for all things--youth +will be served, every dog has his day, and mine has been a fine one--let +me be content. After beating Tom of Hopton, there was not much more to +be done in the way of reputation; I have long sat in my bar the wonder +and glory of this here neighbourhood. I'm content, as far as reputation +goes; I only wish money would come in a little faster; however, the next +main of cocks will bring me in something handsome--comes off next +Wednesday, at ---, have ventured ten five-pound notes--shouldn't say +ventured either--run no risk at all, because why? I knows my birds." +About ten days after this harangue I called again, at about three o'clock +one afternoon. The landlord was seated on a bench by a table in the +common room, which was entirely empty; he was neither smoking nor +drinking, but sat with his arms folded, and his head hanging down over +his breast. At the sound of my step he looked up. "Ah," said he, "I am +glad you are come, I was just thinking about you." "Thank you," said I; +"it was very kind of you, especially at a time like this, when your mind +must be full of your good fortune. Allow me to congratulate you on the +sums of money you won by the main of cocks at ---. I hope you brought it +all safe home." "Safe home!" said the landlord; "I brought myself safe +home, and that was all; came home without a shilling, regularly done, +cleaned out." "I am sorry for that," said I; "but after you had won the +money, you ought to have been satisfied, and not risked it again--how did +you lose it? I hope not by the pea and thimble." "Pea and thimble," +said the landlord--"not I; those confounded cocks left me nothing to lose +by the pea and thimble." "Dear me," said I; "I thought that you knew +your birds." "Well, so I did," said the landlord; "I knew the birds to +be good birds, and so they proved, and would have won if better birds had +not been brought against them, of which I knew nothing; and so, do you +see, I am done, regularly done." "Well," said I, "don't be cast down; +there is one thing of which the cocks by their misfortune cannot deprive +you--your reputation; make the most of that, give up cock-fighting, and +be content with the custom of your house, of which you will always have +plenty, as long as you are the wonder and glory of the neighbourhood." + +The landlord struck the table before him violently with his fist. +"Confound my reputation!" said he. "No reputation that I have will be +satisfaction to my brewer for the seventy pounds I owe him. Reputation +won't pass for the current coin of this here realm; and let me tell you, +that if it a'n't backed by some of it, it a'n't a bit better than rotten +cabbage, as I have found. Only three weeks since I was, as I told you, +the wonder and glory of the neighbourhood; and people used to come to +look at me, and worship me; but as soon as it began to be whispered about +that I owed money to the brewer, they presently left off all that kind of +thing; and now, during the last three days, since the tale of my +misfortune with the cocks has got wind, almost everybody has left off +coming to the house, and the few who does, merely comes to insult and +flout me. It was only last night that fellow, Hunter, called me an old +fool in my own kitchen here. He wouldn't have called me a fool a +fortnight ago; 'twas I called him fool then, and last night he called me +old fool; what do you think of that?--the man that beat Tom of Hopton, to +be called, not only a fool, but an old fool; and I hadn't heart, with one +blow of this here fist into his face, to send his head ringing against +the wall; for when a man's pocket is low, do you see, his heart a'n't +much higher; but it is of no use talking, something must be done. I was +thinking of you just as you came in, for you are just the person that can +help me." + +"If you mean," said I, "to ask me to lend you the money which you want, +it will be to no purpose, as I have very little of my own, just enough +for my own occasions; it is true, if you desired it, I would be your +intercessor with the person to whom you owe the money, though I should +hardly imagine that anything I could say--" "You are right there," said +the landlord; "much the brewer would care for anything you could say on +my behalf--your going would be the very way to do me up entirely. A +pretty opinion he would have of the state of my affairs if I were to send +him such a 'cessor as you; and as for your lending me money, don't think +I was ever fool enough to suppose either that you had any, or if you had +that you would be fool enough to lend me any. No, no, the coves of the +ring knows better; I have been in the ring myself, and knows what a +fighting cove is, and though I was fool enough to back those birds, I was +never quite fool enough to lend anybody money. What I am about to +propose is something very different from going to my landlord, or lending +any capital; something which, though it will put money into my pocket, +will likewise put something handsome into your own. I want to get up a +fight in this here neighbourhood, which would be sure to bring plenty of +people to my house, for a week before and after it takes place; and as +people can't come without drinking, I think I could, during one +fortnight, get off for the brewer all the sour and unsaleable liquids he +now has, which people wouldn't drink at any other time, and by that +means, do you see, liquidate my debt; then, by means of betting, making +first all right, do you see, I have no doubt that I could put something +handsome into my pocket and yours, for I should wish you to be the +fighting man, as I think I can depend upon you." "You really must excuse +me," said I; "I have no wish to figure as a pugilist; besides, there is +such a difference in our ages; you may be the stronger man of the two, +and perhaps the hardest hitter, but I am in much better condition, am +more active on my legs, so that I am almost sure I should have the +advantage, for, as you very properly observed, 'Youth will be served.'" +"Oh, I didn't mean to fight," said the landlord; "I think I could beat +you if I were to train a little; but in the fight I propose I looks more +to the main chance than anything else. I question whether half so many +people could be brought together if you were to fight with me as the +person I have in view, or whether there would be half such opportunities +for betting, for I am a man, do you see; the person I wants you to fight +with is not a man, but the young woman you keeps company with." + +"The young woman I keep company with," said I, "pray what do you mean?" + +"We will go into the bar, and have something," said the landlord, getting +up. "My niece is out, and there is no one in the house, so we can talk +the . matter over quietly." Thereupon I followed him into the bar, +where, having drawn me a jug of ale, helped himself as usual to a glass +of sherry, and lighted a cigar, he proceeded to explain himself farther. +"What I wants, is to get up a fight between a man and a woman; there +never has yet been such a thing in the ring, and the mere noise of the +matter would bring thousands of people together, quite enough to drink +out--for the thing should be close to my house--all the brewer's stock of +liquids, both good and bad." "But," said I, "you were the other day +boasting of the respectability of your house; do you think that a fight +between a man and a woman close to your establishment would add to its +respectability?" "Confound the respectability of my house!" said the +landlord; "will the respectability of my house pay the brewer, or keep +the roof over my head? No, no! when respectability won't keep a man, do +you see, the best thing is to let it go and wander. Only let me have my +own way, and both the brewer, myself, and every one of us, will be +satisfied. And then the betting--what a deal we may make by the +betting!--and that we shall have all to ourselves, you, I, and the young +woman; the brewer will have no hand in that. I can manage to raise ten +pounds, and if by flashing that about I don't manage to make a hundred, +call me horse." "But, suppose," said I, "the party should lose, on whom +you sport your money, even as the birds did?" "We must first make all +right," said the landlord, "as I told you before; the birds were +irrational beings, and therefore couldn't come to an understanding with +the others, as you and the young woman can. The birds fought fair; but I +intend that you and the young woman should fight cross." "What do you +mean by cross?" said I. "Come, come," said the landlord, "don't attempt +to gammon me; you in the ring, and pretend not to know what fighting +cross is! That won't do, my fine fellow; but as no one is near us, I +will speak out. I intend that you and the young woman should understand +one another, and agree beforehand which should be beat; and if you take +my advice, you will determine between you that the young woman shall be +beat, as I am sure that the odds will run high upon her, her character as +a fist-woman being spread far and wide, so that all the flats who think +it will be all right will back her, as I myself would, if I thought it +would be a fair thing." "Then," said I, "you would not have us fight +fair?" "By no means," said the landlord, "because why?--I conceives that +a cross is a certainty to those who are in it, whereas by the fair thing +one may lose all he has." "But," said I, "you said the other day, that +you liked the fair thing." "That was by way of gammon," said the +landlord; "just, do you see, as a Parliament cove might say, speechifying +from a barrel to a set of flats, whom he means to sell. Come, what do +you think of the plan?" + +"It is a very ingenious one," said I. + +"A'n't it?" said the landlord. "The folks in this neighbourhood are +beginning to call me old fool; but if they don't call me something else, +when they sees me friends with the brewer, and money in my pocket, my +name is not Catchpole. Come, drink your ale, and go home to the young +gentlewoman." + +"I am going," said I, rising from my seat, after finishing the remainder +of the ale. + +"Do you think she'll have any objection?" said the landlord. + +"To do what?" said I. + +"Why, to fight cross." + +"Yes, I do," said I. + +"But you will do your best to persuade her?" + +"No, I will not," said I. + +"Are you fool enough to wish to fight fair?" + +"No," said I, "I am wise enough to wish not to fight at all." + +"And how's my brewer to be paid?" said the landlord. + +"I really don't know," said I. + +"I'll change my religion," said the landlord. + + + + +CHAPTER XCIII + + +Another Visit--_A la Margutte_--Clever Man--Napoleon's Estimate--Another +Statue. + +One evening Belle and myself received another visit from the man in +black. After a little conversation of not much importance, I asked him +whether he would not take some refreshment, assuring him that I was now +in possession of some very excellent Hollands, which, with a glass, a jug +of water, and a lump of sugar, were heartily at his service; he accepted +my offer, and Belle going with a jug to the spring, from which she was in +the habit of procuring water for tea, speedily returned with it full of +the clear, delicious water of which I have already spoken. Having placed +the jug by the side of the man in black, she brought him a glass and +spoon, and a tea-cup, the latter containing various lumps of snowy-white +sugar: in the meantime I had produced a bottle of the stronger liquid. +The man in black helped himself to some water, and likewise to some +Hollands, the proportion of water being about two-thirds; then adding a +lump of sugar, he stirred the whole up, tasted it, and said that it was +good. + +"This is one of the good things of life," he added, after a short pause. + +"What are the others?" I demanded. + +"There is Malvoisia sack," said the man in black, "and partridge, and +beccafico." + +"And what do you say to high mass?" said I. + +"High mass!" said the man in black; "however," he continued, after a +pause, "I will be frank with you; I came to be so; I may have heard high +mass on a time, and said it too; but as for any predilection for it, I +assure you I have no more than for a long High Church sermon." + +"You speak _a la Margutte_," said I. + +"Margutte!" said the man in black, musingly, "Margutte!" + +"You have read Pulci, I suppose?" said I. + +"Yes, yes," said the man in black, laughing; "I remember." + +"He might be rendered into English," said I, "something in this style:-- + + 'To which Margutte answered with a sneer, + I like the blue no better than the black, + My faith consists alone in savoury cheer, + In roasted capons, and in potent sack; + But above all, in famous gin and clear, + Which often lays the Briton on his back, + With lump of sugar, and with lymph from well, + I drink it, and defy the fiends of hell.'" + +"He! he! he!" said the man in black; "that is more than Mezzofante {347} +could have done for a stanza of Byron." + +"A clever man," said I. + +"Who?" said the man in black. + +"Mezzofante di Bologna." + +"He! he! he!" said the man in black; "now I know that you are not a +Gypsy, at least a soothsayer; no soothsayer would have said that--" + +"Why," said I, "does he not understand five-and-twenty tongues?" + +"Oh yes," said the man in black; "and five-and-twenty added to them; but, +he! he! he! it was principally from him, who is certainly the greatest of +Philologists, that I formed my opinion of the sect." + +"You ought to speak of him with more respect," said I; "I have heard say +that he has done good service to your See." + +"Oh yes," said the man in black; "he has done good service to our See, +that is, in his way; when the neophytes of the propaganda are to be +examined in the several tongues in which they are destined to preach, he +is appointed to question them, the questions being first written down for +him, or else, he! he! he!--Of course you know Napoleon's estimate of +Mezzofante; he sent for the linguist from motives of curiosity, and after +some discourse with him, told him that he might depart; then turning to +some of his generals, he observed, '_Nous avons eu ici un exemple qu'un +homme peut avoir beaucoup de paroles avec bien peu d'esprit_.'" + +"You are ungrateful to him," said I; "well, perhaps, when he is dead and +gone you will do him justice." + +"True," said the man in black; "when he is dead and gone, we intend to +erect him a statue of wood, on the left-hand side of the door of the +Vatican library." + +"Of wood?" said I. + +"He was the son of a carpenter, you know," said the man in black; "the +figure will be of wood, for no other reason, I assure you; he! he!" + +"You should place another statue on the right." + +"Perhaps we shall," said the man in black; "but we know of no one amongst +the philologists of Italy, nor, indeed, of the other countries inhabited +by the faithful, worthy to sit parallel in effigy with our illustrissimo; +when, indeed, we have conquered these regions of the perfidious by +bringing the inhabitants thereof to the true faith, I have no doubt that +we shall be able to select one worthy to bear him company--one whose +statue shall be placed on the right hand of the library, in testimony of +our joy at his conversion; for, as you know, 'There is more joy,' etc." + +"Wood?" said I. + +"I hope not," said the man in black; "no, if I be consulted as to the +material for the statue, I should strongly recommend bronze." + +And when the man in black had said this, he emptied his second tumbler of +its contents, and prepared himself another. + + + + +CHAPTER XCIV + + +Prerogative--Feeling of Gratitude--A Long History--Alliterative +Style--Advantageous Specimen--Jesuit Benefice--Not Sufficient--Queen +Stork's Tragedy--Good Sense--Grandeur and Gentility--Ironmonger's +Daughter--Clan Mac-Sycophant--Lick-Spittles--A Curiosity--Newspaper +Editors--Charles the Simple--High-flying Ditty--Dissenters--Lower +Classes--Priestley's House--Saxon Ancestors--Austin--Renovating +Glass--Money--Quite Original. + +"So you hope to bring these regions again beneath the banner of the Roman +See?" said I; after the man in black had prepared the beverage, and +tasted it. + +"Hope!" said the man in black; "how can we fail? Is not the Church of +these regions going to lose its prerogative?" + +"Its prerogative?" + +"Yes; those who should be the guardians of the religion of England are +about to grant Papists emancipation, and to remove the disabilities from +Dissenters, which will allow the Holy Father to play his own game in +England." + +On my inquiring how the Holy Father intended to play his game, the man in +black gave me to understand that he intended for the present to cover the +land with temples, in which the religion of Protestants would be +continually scoffed at and reviled. + +On my observing that such behaviour would savour strongly of ingratitude, +the man in black gave me to understand that if I entertained the idea +that the See of Rome was ever influenced in its actions by any feeling of +gratitude I was much mistaken, assuring me that if the See of Rome in any +encounter should chance to be disarmed and its adversary, from a feeling +of magnanimity, should restore the sword which had been knocked out of +its hand, the See of Rome always endeavoured on the first opportunity to +plunge the said sword into its adversary's bosom; conduct which the man +in black seemed to think was very wise, and which he assured me had +already enabled it to get rid of a great many troublesome adversaries, +and would, he had no doubt, enable it to get rid of a great many more. + +On my attempting to argue against the propriety of such behaviour, the +man in black cut the matter short, by saying, that if one party was a +fool he saw no reason why the other should imitate it in its folly. + +After musing a little while, I told him that emancipation had not yet +passed through the legislature, and that perhaps it never would; +reminding him that there was often many a slip between the cup and the +lip; to which observation the man in black agreed, assuring me, however, +that there was no doubt that emancipation would be carried, inasmuch as +there was a very loud cry at present in the land--a cry of "tolerance," +which had almost frightened the Government out of its wits; who, to get +rid of the cry, was going to grant all that was asked in the way of +toleration, instead of telling the people to "Hold their nonsense," and +cutting them down, provided they continued bawling longer. + +I questioned the man in black with respect to the origin of this cry; but +he said, to trace it to its origin would require a long history; that, at +any rate, such a cry was in existence, the chief raisers of it being +certain of the nobility, called Whigs, who hoped by means of it to get +into power, and to turn out certain ancient adversaries of theirs called +Tories, who were for letting things remain _in statu quo_; that these +Whigs were backed by a party amongst the people called Radicals, a +specimen of whom I had seen in the public-house; a set of fellows who +were always in the habit of bawling against those in place; "and so," he +added, "by means of these parties, and the hubbub which the Papists and +other smaller sects are making, a general emancipation will be carried, +and the Church of England humbled, which is the principal thing which the +See of Rome cares for." + +On my telling the man in black that I believed that, even among the high +dignitaries of the English Church, there were many who wished to grant +perfect freedom to religions of all descriptions, he said he was aware +that such was the fact, and that such a wish was anything but wise, +inasmuch as, if they had any regard for the religion they professed, they +ought to stand by it through thick and thin, proclaiming it to be the +only true one, and denouncing all others, in an alliterative style, as +dangerous and damnable; whereas, by their present conduct, they were +bringing their religion into contempt with the people at large, who would +never continue long attached to a Church the ministers of which did not +stand up for it, and likewise cause their own brethren, who had a clearer +notion of things, to be ashamed of belonging to it. "I speak advisedly," +said he, in continuation, "there is one Platitude." + +"And I hope there is only one," said I; "you surely would not adduce the +likes and dislikes of that poor silly fellow as the criterions of the +opinions of any party?" + +"You know him," said the man in black, "nay, I heard you mention him in +the public-house; the fellow is not very wise, I admit, but he has sense +enough to know, that unless a Church can make people hold their tongues +when it thinks fit, it is scarcely deserving the name of a Church; no, I +think that the fellow is not such a very bad stick, and that upon the +whole he is, or rather was, an advantageous specimen of the High Church +English clergy, who, for the most part, so far from troubling their heads +about persecuting people, only think of securing their tithes, eating +their heavy dinners, puffing out their cheeks with importance on country +justice benches, and occasionally exhibiting their conceited wives, +hoyden daughters, and gawky sons at country balls, whereas Platitude--" + +"Stop," said I; "you said in the public-house that the Church of England +was a persecuting Church, and here in the dingle you have confessed that +one section of it is willing to grant perfect freedom to the exercise of +all religions, and the other only thinks of leading an easy life." + +"Saying a thing in the public-house is a widely different thing from +saying it in the dingle," said the man in black; "had the Church of +England been a persecuting Church, it would not stand in the position in +which it stands at present; it might, with its opportunities, have spread +itself over the greater part of the world. I was about to observe that, +instead of practising the indolent habits of his High Church brethren, +Platitude would be working for his money, preaching the proper use of +fire and fagot, or rather of the halter and the whipping-post, +encouraging mobs to attack the houses of Dissenters, employing spies to +collect the scandal of neighbourhoods, in order that he might use it for +sacerdotal purposes, and, in fact, endeavouring to turn an English parish +into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of France." + +"He tried that game," said I, "and the parish said 'Pooh, pooh,' and, for +the most part, went over to the Dissenters." + +"Very true," said the man in black, taking a sip at his glass, "but why +were the Dissenters allowed to preach? why were they not beaten on the +lips till they spat out blood, with a dislodged tooth or two? Why, but +because the authority of the Church of England has, by its own fault, +become so circumscribed, that Mr. Platitude was not able to send a host +of beadles and sbirri to their chapel to bring them to reason, on which +account Mr. Platitude is very properly ashamed of his Church, and is +thinking of uniting himself with one which possesses more vigour and +authority." + +"It may have vigour and authority," said I, "in foreign lands, but in +these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by. It is +at present almost below contempt, and is obliged to sue for grace _in +forma paureris_." + +"Very true," said the man in black; "but let it once obtain emancipation, +and it will cast its slough, put on its fine clothes, and make converts +by thousands. 'What a fine Church!' they'll say; 'with what authority it +speaks! no doubts, no hesitation, no sticking at trifles. What a +contrast to the sleepy English Church!' They'll go over to it by +millions, till it preponderates here over every other, when it will of +course be voted the dominant one; and then--and then . . . " and here the +man in black drank a considerable quantity of gin and water. + +"What then?" said I. + +"What then?" said the man in black; "why, she will be true to herself. +Let Dissenters, whether they be Church of England, as perhaps they may +still call themselves, Methodist, or Presbyterian, presume to grumble, +and there shall be bruising of lips in pulpits, tying up to +whipping-posts, cutting off ears and noses--he! he! the farce of King Log +has been acted long enough; the time for Queen Stork's tragedy is drawing +nigh;" and the man in black sipped his gin and water in a very exulting +manner. + +"And this is the Church which, according to your assertion in the public- +house, never persecutes?" + +"I have already given you an answer," said the man in black. "With +respect to the matter of the public-house, it is one of the happy +privileges of those who belong to my Church to deny in the public-house +what they admit in the dingle; we have high warranty for such double +speaking. Did not the foundation-stone of our Church, Saint Peter, deny +in the public-house what he had previously professed in the valley?" + +"And do you think," said I, "that the people of England, who have shown +aversion to anything in the shape of intolerance, will permit such +barbarities as you have described?" + +"Let them become Papists," said the man in black; "only let the majority +become Papists, and you will see." + +"They will never become so," said I; "the good sense of the people of +England will never permit them to commit such an absurdity." + +"The good sense of the people of England!" said the man in black, filling +himself another glass. + +"Yes," said I, "the good sense of not only the upper, but the middle and +lower classes." + +"And of what description of people are the upper class?" said the man in +black, putting a lump of sugar into his gin and water. + +"Very fine people," said I, "monstrously fine people; so, at least, they +are generally believed to be." + +"He! he!" said the man in black; "only those think them so who don't know +them. The male part of the upper class are in youth a set of heartless +profligates; in old age, a parcel of poor, shaking, nervous paillards. +The female part, worthy to be the sisters and wives of such +wretches--unmarried, full of cold vice, kept under by vanity and +ambition, but which, after marriage, they seek not to restrain; in old +age, abandoned to vapours and horrors; do you think that such beings will +afford any obstacle to the progress of the Church in these regions, as +soon as her movements are unfettered?" + +"I cannot give an opinion; I know nothing of them, except from a +distance. But what think you of the middle classes?" + +"Their chief characteristic," said the man in black, "is a rage for +grandeur and gentility; and that same rage makes us quite sure of them in +the long-run. Everything that's lofty meets their unqualified +approbation; whilst everything humble, or, as they call it, 'low,' is +scouted by them. They begin to have a vague idea that the religion which +they have hitherto professed is low; at any rate, that it is not the +religion of the mighty ones of the earth, of the great kings and emperors +whose shoes they have a vast inclination to kiss, nor was used by the +grand personages of whom they have read in their novels and romances, +their Ivanhoes, their Marmions, and their Ladies of the Lake." + +"Do you think that the writings of Scott have had any influence in +modifying their religious opinions?" + +"Most certainly I do," said the man in black. "The writings of that man +have made them greater fools than they were before. All their +conversation now is about gallant knights, princesses, and cavaliers, +with which his pages are stuffed--all of whom were Papists, or very High +Church, which is nearly the same thing; and they are beginning to think +that the religion of such nice sweet-scented gentry must be something +very superfine. Why, I know at Birmingham the daughter of an ironmonger, +who screeches to the piano the Lady of the Lake's hymn to the Virgin +Mary, always weeps when Mary Queen of Scots is mentioned, and fasts on +the anniversary of the death of that very wise martyr, Charles the First. +Why, I would engage to convert such an idiot to popery in a week, were it +worth my trouble. _O Cavaliere Gualtiero avete fatto molto in favore +della Santa Sede_!" + +"If he has," said I, "he has done it unwittingly; I never heard before +that he was a favourer of the popish delusion." + +"Only in theory," said the man in black. "Trust any of the clan +Mac-Sycophant for interfering openly and boldly in favour of any cause on +which the sun does not shine benignantly. Popery is at present, as you +say, suing for grace in these regions _in forma pauperis_; but let +royalty once take it up, let old gouty George once patronise it, and I +would consent to drink puddle-water if, the very next time the canny Scot +was admitted to the royal symposium, he did not say, 'By my faith, yere +Majesty, I have always thought, at the bottom of my heart, that popery, +as ill-scrapit tongues ca' it, was a very grand religion; I shall be +proud to follow your Majesty's example in adopting it.'" + +"I doubt not," said I, "that both gouty George and his devoted servant +will be mouldering in their tombs long before royalty in England thinks +about adopting popery." + +"We can wait," said the man in black; "in these days of rampant +gentility, there will be no want of kings nor of Scots about them." + +"But not Walters," said I. + +"Our work has been already tolerably well done by one," said the man in +black; "but if we wanted literature, we should never lack in these +regions hosts of literary men of some kind or other to eulogise us, +provided our religion were in the fashion, and our popish nobles +chose--and they always do our bidding--to admit the canaille to their +tables--their kitchen tables. As for literature in general," said he, +"the Santa Sede is not particularly partial to it, it may be employed +both ways. In Italy, in particular, it has discovered that literary men +are not always disposed to be lick-spittles." + +"For example, Dante," said I. + +"Yes," said the man in black, "a dangerous personage; that poem of his +cuts both ways; and then there was Pulci, that Morgante of his cuts both +ways, or rather one way, and that sheer against us; and then there was +Aretino, who dealt so hard with the poveri frati; all writers, at least +Italian ones, are not lick-spittles. And then in Spain,--'tis true, Lope +de Vega and Calderon were most inordinate lick-spittles; the Principe +Constante of the last is a curiosity in its way; and then the Mary Stuart +of Lope; I think I shall recommend the perusal of that work to the +Birmingham ironmonger's daughter--she has been lately thinking of adding +'a slight knowledge of the magneeficent language of the Peninsula' to the +rest of her accomplishments, he! he! he! But then there was Cervantes, +starving, but straight; he deals us some hard knocks in that second part +of his Quixote. Then there were some of the writers of the picaresque +novels. No, all literary men are not lick-spittles, whether in Italy or +Spain, or, indeed, upon the Continent; it is only in England that all--" + +"Come," said I, "mind what you are about to say of English literary men." + +"Why should I mind?" said the man in black, "there are no literary men +here. I have heard of literary men living in garrets, but not in +dingles, whatever philologists may do; I may, therefore, speak out +freely. It is only in England that literary men are invariably +lick-spittles; on which account, perhaps, they are so despised, even by +those who benefit by their dirty services. Look at your fashionable +novel writers, he! he!--and, above all, at your newspaper editors, ho! +ho!" + +"You will, of course, except the editors of the --- from your censure of +the last class?" said I. + +"Them!" said the man in black; "why, they might serve as models in the +dirty trade to all the rest who practise it. See how they bepraise their +patrons, the grand Whig nobility, who hope, by raising the cry of +liberalism, and by putting themselves at the head of the populace, to +come into power shortly. I don't wish to be hard, at present, upon those +Whigs," he continued, "for they are playing our game; but a time will +come when, not wanting them, we will kick them to a considerable +distance: and then, when toleration is no longer the cry, and the Whigs +are no longer backed by the populace, see whether the editors of the --- +will stand by them; they will prove themselves as expert lick-spittles of +despotism as of liberalism. Don't think they will always bespatter the +Tories and Austria." + +"Well," said I, "I am sorry to find that you entertain so low an opinion +of the spirit of English literary men; we will now return, if you please, +to the subject of the middle classes; I think your strictures upon them +in general are rather too sweeping--they are not altogether the foolish +people which you have described. Look, for example, at that very +powerful and numerous body the Dissenters, the descendants of those +sturdy Patriots who hurled Charles the Simple from his throne." + +"There are some sturdy fellows amongst them, I do not deny," said the man +in black, "especially amongst the preachers, clever withal--two or three +of that class nearly drove Mr. Platitude mad, as perhaps you are aware, +but they are not very numerous; and the old sturdy sort of preachers are +fast dropping off, and, as we observe with pleasure, are generally +succeeded by frothy coxcombs, whom it would not be very difficult to gain +over. But what we most rely upon as an instrument to bring the +Dissenters over to us is the mania for gentility, which amongst them has +of late become as great, and more ridiculous than amongst the middle +classes belonging to the Church of England. All the plain and simple +fashions of their forefathers they are either about to abandon, or have +already done so. Look at the most part of their chapels--no longer +modest brick edifices, situated in quiet and retired streets, but lunatic- +looking erections, in what the simpletons call the modern Gothic taste, +of Portland stone, with a cross upon the top, and the site generally the +most conspicuous that can be found. And look at the manner in which they +educate their children--I mean those that are wealthy. They do not even +wish them to be Dissenters--'the sweet dears shall enjoy the advantages +of good society, of which their parents were debarred.' So the girls are +sent to tip-top boarding-schools, where amongst other trash they read +'Rokeby,' and are taught to sing snatches from that high-flying ditty, +the 'Cavalier'-- + + 'Would you match the base Skippon, and Massey, and Brown, + With the barons of England, who fight for the crown?'-- + +he! he! their own names. Whilst the lads are sent to those hot-beds of +pride and folly--colleges, whence they return with a greater contempt for +everything 'low,' and especially for their own pedigree, than they went +with. I tell you, friend, the children of Dissenters, if not their +parents, are going over to the Church, as you call it, and the Church is +going over to Rome." + +"I do not see the justice of that latter assertion at all," said I; "some +of the Dissenters' children may be coming over to the Church of England, +and yet the Church of England be very far from going over to Rome." + +"In the high road for it, I assure you," said the man in black; "part of +it is going to abandon, the rest to lose their prerogative, and when a +Church no longer retains its prerogative, it speedily loses its own +respect, and that of others." + +"Well," said I, "if the higher classes have all the vices and follies +which you represent, on which point I can say nothing, as I have never +mixed with them; and even supposing the middle classes are the foolish +beings you would fain make them, and which I do not believe them as a +body to be, you would still find some resistance amongst the lower +classes: I have a considerable respect for their good sense and +independence of character; but pray let me hear your opinion of them." + +"As for the lower classes," said the man in black, "I believe them to be +the most brutal wretches in the world, the most addicted to foul feeding, +foul language, and foul vices of every kind; wretches who have neither +love for country, religion, nor anything save their own vile selves. You +surely do not think that they would oppose a change of religion! why, +there is not one of them but would hurrah for the Pope, or Mahomet, for +the sake of a hearty gorge and a drunken bout, like those which they are +treated with at election contests." + +"Has your Church any followers amongst them?" said I. + +"Wherever there happens to be a Romish family of considerable +possessions," said the man in black, "our Church is sure to have +followers of the lower class, who have come over in the hope of getting +something in the shape of dole or donation. As, however, the Romish is +not yet the dominant religion, and the clergy of the English +establishment have some patronage to bestow, the churches are not quite +deserted by the lower classes; yet, were the Romish to become the +established religion, they would, to a certainty, all go over to it; you +can scarcely imagine what a self-interested set they are--for example, +the landlord of that public-house in which I first met you, having lost a +sum of money upon a cockfight, and his affairs in consequence being in a +bad condition, is on the eve of coming over to us, in the hope that two +old popish females of property, whom I confess, will advance a sum of +money to set him up again in the world." + +"And what could have put such an idea into the poor fellow's head?" said +I. + +"Oh! he and I have had some conversation upon the state of his affairs," +said the man in black; "I think he might make a rather useful convert in +these parts, provided things take a certain turn, as they doubtless will. +It is no bad thing to have a fighting fellow, who keeps a public-house, +belonging to one's religion. He has been occasionally employed as a +bully at elections by the Tory party, and he may serve us in the same +capacity. The fellow comes of a good stock; I heard him say that his +father headed the High Church mob who sacked and burnt Priestley's house +at Birmingham, towards the end of the last century." + +"A disgraceful affair," said I. + +"What do you mean by a disgraceful affair?" said the man in black. "I +assure you that nothing has occurred for the last fifty years which has +given the High Church party so much credit in the eyes of Rome as +that,--we did not imagine that the fellows had so much energy. Had they +followed up that affair by twenty others of a similar kind, they would by +this time have had everything in their own power; but they did not, and, +as a necessary consequence, they are reduced to almost nothing." + +"I suppose," said I, "that your Church would have acted very differently +in its place." + +"It has always done so," said the man in black, coolly sipping. "Our +Church has always armed the brute population against the genius and +intellect of a country, provided that same intellect and genius were not +willing to become its instruments and eulogists; and provided we once +obtain a firm hold here again, we would not fail to do so. We would +occasionally stuff the beastly rabble with horseflesh and bitter ale, and +then halloo them on against all those who were obnoxious to us." + +"Horseflesh and bitter ale!" I replied. + +"Yes," said the man in black; "horseflesh and bitter ale--the favourite +delicacies of their Saxon ancestors, who were always ready to do our +bidding after a liberal allowance of such cheer. There is a tradition in +our Church, that before the Northumbrian rabble, at the instigation of +Austin, attacked and massacred the Presbyterian monks of Bangor, they had +been allowed a good gorge of horseflesh and bitter ale. He! he! he!" +continued the man in black, "what a fine spectacle to see such a mob, +headed by a fellow like our friend the landlord, sack the house of +another Priestley!" + +"Then you don't deny that we have had a Priestley," said I, "and admit +the possibility of our having another? You were lately observing that +all English literary men were sycophants?" + +"Lick-spittles," said the man in black; "yes, I admit that you have had a +Priestley, but he was a Dissenter of the old class; you have had him, and +perhaps may have another." + +"Perhaps we may," said I. "But with respect to the lower classes, have +you mixed much with them?" + +"I have mixed with all classes," said the man in black, "and with the +lower not less than the upper and middle; they are much as I have +described them; and of the three, the lower are the worst. I never knew +one of them that possessed the slightest principle, no, not . . . It is +true, there was one fellow whom I once met, who . . . but it is a long +story, and the affair happened abroad." + +"I ought to know something of the English people," he continued, after a +moment's pause; "I have been many years amongst them, labouring in the +cause of the Church." + +"Your See must have had great confidence in your powers, when it selected +you to labour for it in these parts," said I. + +"They chose me," said the man in black, "principally because, being of +British extraction and education, I could speak the English language and +bear a glass of something strong. It is the opinion of my See, that it +would hardly do to send a missionary into a country like this who is not +well versed in English--a country where, they think, so far from +understanding any language besides his own, scarcely one individual in +ten speaks his own intelligibly; or an ascetic person where, as they say, +high and low, male and female, are, at some period of their lives, fond +of a renovating glass, as it is styled--in other words, of tippling." + +"Your See appears to entertain a very strange opinion of the English," +said I. + +"Not altogether an unjust one," said the man in black, lifting the glass +to his mouth. + +"Well," said I, "it is certainly very kind on its part to wish to bring +back such a set of beings beneath its wing." + +"Why, as to the kindness of my See," said the man in black, "I have not +much to say; my See has generally in what it does a tolerably good +motive; these heretics possess in plenty what my See has a great +hankering for, and can turn to a good account--money!" + +"The Founder of the Christian religion cared nothing for money," said I. + +"What have we to do with what the Founder of the Christian religion cared +for?" said the man in black. "How could our temples be built, and our +priests supported without money? But you are unwise to reproach us with +a desire of obtaining money; you forget that your own Church, if the +Church of England be your own Church, as I suppose it is, from the +willingness which you displayed in the public-house to fight for it, is +equally avaricious; look at your greedy bishops, and your corpulent +rectors--do they imitate Christ in His disregard for money? You might as +well tell me that they imitate Christ in His meekness and humility." + +"Well," said I, "whatever their faults may be, you can't say that they go +to Rome for money." + +The man in black made no direct answer, but appeared by the motion of his +lips to be repeating something to himself. + +"I see your glass is again empty," said I; "perhaps you will replenish +it?" + +The man in black arose from his seat, adjusted his habiliments, which +were rather in disorder, and placed upon his head his hat, which he had +laid aside; then, looking at me, who was still lying on the ground, he +said--"I might, perhaps, take another glass, though I believe I have had +quite as much as I can well bear; but I do not wish to hear you utter +anything more this evening, after that last observation of yours--it is +quite original; I will meditate upon it on my pillow this night, after +having said an ave and a pater--go to Rome for money!" He then made +Belle a low bow, slightly motioned to me with his hand as if bidding +farewell, and then left the dingle with rather uneven steps. + +"Go to Rome for money," I heard him say as he ascended the winding path, +"he! he! he! Go to Rome for money, ho! ho! ho!" + + + + +CHAPTER XCV + + +Wooded Retreat--Fresh Shoes--Wood Fire--Ash, when Green--Queen of +China--Cleverest People--Declensions--Armenian--Thunder--Deep Olive--What +Do You Mean?--Koul Adonai--The Thick Bushes--Wood Pigeon--Old Goethe. + +Nearly three days elapsed without anything of particular moment +occurring. Belle drove the little cart containing her merchandise about +the neighbourhood, returning to the dingle towards the evening. As for +myself, I kept within my wooded retreat, working during the periods of +her absence leisurely at my forge. Having observed that the quadruped +which my companion drove was as much in need of shoes as my own had been +some time previously, I had determined to provide it with a set, and +during the aforesaid periods occupied myself in preparing them. As I was +employed three mornings and afternoons about them, I am sure that the +reader will agree that I worked leisurely, or rather, lazily. On the +third day Belle arrived somewhat later than usual; I was lying on my back +at the bottom of the dingle, employed in tossing up the shoes which I had +produced, and catching them as they fell--some being always in the air +mounting or descending, somewhat after the fashion of the waters of a +fountain. + +"Why have you been absent so long?" said I to Belle; "it must be long +past four by the day." + +"I have been almost killed by the heat," said Belle; "I was never out in +a more sultry day--the poor donkey, too, could scarcely move along." + +"He shall have fresh shoes," said I, continuing my exercise; "here they +are quite ready; to-morrow I will tack them on." + +"And why are you playing with them in that manner?" said Belle. + +"Partly in triumph at having made them, and partly to show that I can do +something besides making them; it is not every one who, after having made +a set of horse-shoes, can keep them going up and down in the air, without +letting one fall." + +"One has now fallen on your chin," said Belle. + +"And another on my cheek," said I, getting up; "it is time to discontinue +the game, for the last shoe drew blood." + +Belle went to her own little encampment; and as for myself, after having +flung the donkey's shoes into my tent, I put some fresh wood on the fire, +which was nearly out, and hung the kettle over it. I then issued forth +from the dingle, and strolled round the wood that surrounded it; for a +long time I was busied in meditation, looking at the ground, striking +with my foot, half unconsciously, the tufts of grass and thistles that I +met in my way. After some time, I lifted up my eyes to the sky, at first +vacantly, and then with more attention, turning my head in all directions +for a minute or two; after which I returned to the dingle. Isopel was +seated near the fire, over which the kettle was now hung; she had changed +her dress--no signs of the dust and fatigue of her late excursion +remained; she had just added to the fire a small billet of wood, two or +three of which I had left beside it; the fire cracked, and a sweet odour +filled the dingle. + +"I am fond of sitting by a wood fire," said Belle, "when abroad, whether +it be hot or cold; I love to see the flames dart out of the wood; but +what kind is this, and where did you get it?" + +"It is ash," said I, "green ash. Somewhat less than a week ago, whilst I +was wandering along the road by the side of a wood, I came to a place +where some peasants were engaged in cutting up and clearing away a +confused mass of fallen timber: a mighty aged oak had given way the night +before, and in its fall had shivered some smaller trees; the upper part +of the oak, and the fragments of the rest, lay across the road. I +purchased, for a trifle, a bundle or two, and the wood on the fire is +part of it--ash, green ash." + +"That makes good the old rhyme," said Belle, "which I have heard sung by +the old women in the great house:-- + + 'Ash, when green, + Is fire for a queen.'" + +"And on fairer form of queen, ash fire never shone," said I, "than on +thine, O beauteous queen of the dingle." + +"I am half disposed to be angry with you, young man," said Belle. + +"And why not entirely?" said I. + +Belle made no reply. + +"Shall I tell you?" I demanded. "You had no objection to the first part +of the speech, but you did not like being called queen of the dingle. +Well, if I had the power, I would make you queen of something better than +the dingle--Queen of China. Come, let us have tea." + +"Something less would content me," said Belle, sighing, as she rose to +prepare our evening meal. + +So we took tea together, Belle and I. "How delicious tea is after a hot +summer's day, and a long walk," said she. + +"I dare say it is most refreshing then," said I; "but I have heard people +say that they most enjoy it on a cold winter's night, when the kettle is +hissing on the fire, and their children playing on the hearth." + +Belle sighed. "Where does tea come from?" she presently demanded. + +"From China," said I; "I just now mentioned it, and the mention of it put +me in mind of tea." + +"What kind of country is China?" + +"I know very little about it; all I know is, that it is a very large +country far to the East, but scarcely large enough to contain its +inhabitants, who are so numerous, that though China does not cover one- +ninth part of the world, its inhabitants amount to one-third of the +population of the world." + +"And do they talk as we do?" + +"Oh no! I know nothing of their language; but I have heard that it is +quite different from all others, and so difficult that none but the +cleverest people amongst foreigners can master it, on which account, +perhaps, only the French pretend to know anything about it." + +"Are the French so very clever, then?" said Belle. + +"They say there are no people like them, at least in Europe. But talking +of Chinese reminds me that I have not for some time past given you a +lesson in Armenian. The word for tea in Armenian is--by the bye, what is +the Armenian word for tea?" + +"That's your affair, not mine," said Belle; "it seems hard that the +master should ask the scholar." + +"Well," said I, "whatever the word may be in Armenian, it is a noun; and +as we have never yet declined an Armenian noun together, we may as well +take this opportunity of declining one. Belle, there are ten declensions +in Armenian!" + +"What's a declension?" + +"The way of declining a noun." + +"Then, in the civilest way imaginable, I decline the noun. Is that a +declension?" + +"You should never play on words; to do so is low, vulgar, smelling of the +pothouse, the workhouse. Belle, I insist on your declining an Armenian +noun." + +"I have done so already," said Belle. + +"If you go on in this way," said I, "I shall decline taking any more tea +with you. Will you decline an Armenian noun?" + +"I don't like the language," said Belle. "If you must teach me +languages, why not teach me French or Chinese?" + +"I know nothing of Chinese; and as for French, none but a Frenchman is +clever enough to speak it--to say nothing of teaching; no, we will stick +to Armenian, unless, indeed, you would prefer Welsh!" + +"Welsh, I have heard, is vulgar," said Belle; "so, if I must learn one of +the two, I will prefer Armenian, which I never heard of till you +mentioned it to me; though, of the two, I really think Welsh sounds +best." + +"The Armenian noun," said I, "which I propose for your declension this +night, is ---, which signifieth Master." + +"I neither like the word nor the sound," said Belle. + +"I can't help that," said I; "it is the word I choose: Master, with all +its variations, being the first noun the sound of which I would have you +learn from my lips. Come, let us begin-- + +"A master. Of a master, etc. Repeat--" + +"I am not much used to say the word," said Belle, "but to oblige you I +will decline it as you wish;" and thereupon Belle declined Master in +Armenian. + +"You have declined the noun very well," said I; "that is, in the singular +number; we will now go to the plural." + +"What is the plural?" said Belle. + +"That which implies more than one, for example, Masters; you shall now go +through Masters in Armenian." + +"Never," said Belle, "never; it is bad to have one master, but more I +would never bear, whether in Armenian or English." + +"You do not understand," said I; "I merely want you to decline Masters in +Armenian." + +"I do decline them; I will have nothing to do with them, nor with Master +either; I was wrong to . . . What sound is that?" + +"I did not hear it, but I dare say it is thunder; in Armenian--" + +"Never mind what it is in Armenian; but why do you think it is thunder?" + +"Ere I returned from my stroll, I looked up into the heavens, and by +their appearance I judged that a storm was nigh at hand." + +"And why did you not tell me so?" + +"You never asked me about the state of the atmosphere, and I am not in +the habit of giving my opinion to people on any subject, unless +questioned. But, setting that aside, can you blame me for not troubling +you with forebodings about storm and tempest, which might have prevented +the pleasure you promised yourself in drinking tea, or perhaps a lesson +in Armenian, though you pretend to dislike the latter?" + +"My dislike is not pretended," said Belle; "I hate the sound of it, but I +love my tea, and it was kind of you not to wish to cast a cloud over my +little pleasures; the thunder came quite time enough to interrupt it +without being anticipated--there is another peal--I will clear away, and +see that my tent is in a condition to resist the storm; and I think you +had better bestir yourself." + +Isopel departed, and I remained seated on my stone, as nothing belonging +to myself required any particular attention; in about a quarter of an +hour she returned, and seated herself upon her stool. + +"How dark the place is become since I left you," said she; "just as if +night were just at hand." + +"Look up at the sky," said I; "and you will not wonder; it is all of a +deep olive. The wind is beginning to rise; hark how it moans among the +branches, and see how their tops are bending; it brings dust on its +wings--I felt some fall on my face; and what is this, a drop of rain?" + +"We shall have plenty anon," said Belle; "do you hear? it already begins +to hiss upon the embers; that fire of ours will soon be extinguished." + +"It is not probable that we shall want it," said I, "but we had better +seek shelter: let us go into my tent." + +"Go in," said Belle, "but you go in alone; as for me, I will seek my +own." + +"You are right," said I, "to be afraid of me; I have taught you to +decline Master in Armenian." + +"You almost tempt me," said Belle, "to make you decline mistress in +English." + +"To make matters short," said I, "I decline a mistress." + +"What do you mean?" said Belle, angrily. + +"I have merely done what you wished me," said I, "and in your own style; +there is no other way of declining anything in English, for in English +there are no declensions." + +"The rain is increasing," said Belle. + +"It is so," said I; "I shall go to my tent; you may come if you please; I +do assure you I am not afraid of you." + +"Nor I of you," said Belle; "so I will come. Why should I be afraid? I +can take my own part; that is . . . " + +We went into the tent and sat down, and now the rain began to pour with +vehemence. "I hope we shall not be flooded in this hollow," said I to +Belle. "There is no fear of that," said Belle; "the wandering people, +amongst other names, call it the dry hollow. I believe there is a +passage somewhere or other by which the wet is carried off. There must +be a cloud right above us, it is so dark. Oh! what a flash!" + +"And what a peal!" said I; "that is what the Hebrews call Koul Adonai--the +voice of the Lord. Are you afraid?" + +"No," said Belle, "I rather like to hear it." + +"You are right," said I; "I am fond of the sound of thunder myself. There +is nothing like it; Koul Adonai behadar: the voice of the Lord is a +glorious voice, as the Prayer-Book version hath it." + +"There is something awful in it," said Belle; "and then the lightning--the +whole dingle is now in a blaze." + +"'The voice of the Lord maketh the hinds to calve, and discovereth the +thick bushes.' As you say, there is something awful in thunder." + +"There are all kinds of noises above us," said Belle; "surely I heard the +crashing of a tree?" + +"'The voice of the Lord breaketh the cedar trees,'" said I, "but what you +hear is caused by a convulsion of the air; during a thunderstorm there +are occasionally all kinds of aerial noises. Ab Gwilym, who, next to +King David, has best described a thunderstorm, speaks of these aerial +noises in the following manner:-- + + 'Astonied now I stand at strains, + As of ten thousand clanking chains; + And once, methought, that overthrown, + The welkin's oaks came whelming down; + Upon my head up starts my hair: + Why hunt abroad the hounds of air? + What cursed hag is screeching high, + Whilst crash goes all her crockery?' + +You would hardly believe, Belle, that though I offered at least ten +thousand lines nearly as good as those to the booksellers in London, the +simpletons were so blind to their interest as to refuse purchasing them!" + +"I don't wonder at it," said Belle, "especially if such dreadful +expressions frequently occur as that towards the end;--surely that was +the crash of a tree?" + +"Ah!" said I, "there falls the cedar tree--I mean the sallow; one of the +tall trees on the outside of the dingle has been snapped short." + +"What a pity," said Belle, "that the fine old oak, which you saw the +peasants cutting up, gave way the other night, when scarcely a breath of +air was stirring; how much better to have fallen in a storm like this, +the fiercest I remember." + +"I don't think so," said I; "after braving a thousand tempests, it was +meeter for it to fall of itself than to be vanquished at last. But to +return to Ab Gwilym's poetry: he was above culling dainty words, and +spoke boldly his mind on all subjects. Enraged with the thunder for +parting him and Morfydd, he says, at the conclusion of his ode, + + 'My curse, O Thunder, cling to thee, + For parting my dear pearl and me!'" + +"You and I shall part, that is, I shall go to my tent, if you persist in +repeating from him. The man must have been a savage. A poor wood-pigeon +has fallen dead." + +"Yes," said I, "there he lies, just outside the tent; often have I +listened to his note when alone in this wilderness. So you do not like +Ab Gwilym; what say you to old Goethe:-- + + 'Mist shrouds the night, and rack; + Hear, in the woods, what an awful crack! + Wildly the owls are flitting, + Hark to the pillars splitting + Of palaces verdant ever, + The branches quiver and sever, + The mighty stems are creaking, + The poor roots breaking and shrieking, + In wild mixt ruin down dashing, + O'er one another they're crashing; + Whilst 'midst the rocks so hoary, + Whirlwinds hurry and worry. + Hear'st not, sister--'" + +"Hark!" said Belle, "hark!" + + "'Hear'st not, sister, a chorus + Of voices--?'" + +"No," said Belle, "but I hear a voice." + + + + +CHAPTER XCVI + + +A shout--A Fire-Ball--See to the Horses--Passing Away--Gap in the +Hedge--On Three Wheels--Why Do You Stop?--No Craven Heart--The +Cordial--Across the Country--Small Bags. + +I listened attentively, but I could hear nothing but the loud clashing of +branches, the pattering of rain, and the muttered growl of thunder. I +was about to tell Belle that she must have been mistaken, when I heard a +shout--indistinct, it is true, owing to the noises aforesaid--from some +part of the field above the dingle. "I will soon see what's the matter," +said I to Belle, starting up. "I will go too," said the girl. "Stay +where you are," said I; "if I need you, I will call;" and, without +waiting for any answer, I hurried to the mouth of the dingle. I was +about a few yards only from the top of the ascent, when I beheld a blaze +of light, from whence I knew not; the next moment there was a loud crash, +and I appeared involved in a cloud of sulphurous smoke. "Lord have mercy +upon us!" I heard a voice say, and methought I heard the plunging and +struggling of horses. I had stopped short on hearing the crash, for I +was half stunned; but I now hurried forward, and in a moment stood upon +the plain. Here I was instantly aware of the cause of the crash and the +smoke. One of those balls, generally called fire-balls, had fallen from +the clouds, and was burning on the plain at a short distance; and the +voice which I had heard, and the plunging, were as easily accounted for. +Near the left-hand corner of the grove which surrounded the dingle, and +about ten yards from the fire-ball, I perceived a chaise, with a +postillion on the box, who was making efforts, apparently useless, to +control his horses, which were kicking and plunging in the highest degree +of excitement. I instantly ran towards the chaise, in order to offer +what help was in my power. "Help me," said the poor fellow, as I drew +nigh; but before I could reach the horses, they had turned rapidly round, +one of the fore-wheels flew from its axle-tree, the chaise was overset, +and the postillion flung violently from his seat upon the field. The +horses now became more furious than before, kicking desperately, and +endeavouring to disengage themselves from the fallen chaise. As I was +hesitating whether to run to the assistance of the postillion or +endeavour to disengage the animals, I heard the voice of Belle +exclaiming, "See to the horses; I will look after the man." She had, it +seems, been alarmed by the crash which accompanied the fire-bolt, and had +hurried up to learn the cause. I forthwith seized the horses by the +heads, and used all the means I possessed to soothe and pacify them, +employing every gentle modulation of which my voice was capable. Belle, +in the meantime, had raised up the man, who was much stunned by his fall; +but, presently recovering his recollection to a certain degree, he came +limping to me, holding his hand to his right thigh. "The first thing +that must now be done," said I, "is to free these horses from the traces; +can you undertake to do so?" "I think I can," said the man, looking at +me somewhat stupidly. "I will help," said Belle, and without loss of +time laid hold of one of the traces. The man, after a short pause, also +set to work, and in a few minutes the horses were extricated. "Now," +said I to the man, "what is next to be done?" "I don't know," said he; +"indeed, I scarcely know anything; I have been so frightened by this +horrible storm, and so shaken by my fall." "I think," said I, "that the +storm is passing away, so cast your fears away too; and as for your fall, +you must bear it as lightly as you can. I will tie the horses amongst +those trees, and then we will all betake us to the hollow below." "And +what's to become of my chaise?" said the postillion, looking ruefully on +the fallen vehicle. "Let us leave the chaise for the present," said I; +"we can be of no use to it." "I don't like to leave my chaise lying on +the ground in this weather," said the man; "I love my chaise, and him +whom it belongs to." "You are quite right to be fond of yourself," said +I, "on which account I advise you to seek shelter from the rain as soon +as possible." "I was not talking of myself," said the man, "but my +master, to whom the chaise belongs." "I thought you called the chaise +yours," said I. "That's my way of speaking," said the man; "but the +chaise is my master's, and a better master does not live. Don't you +think we could manage to raise up the chaise?" "And what is to become of +the horses?" said I. "I love my horses well enough," said the man; "but +they will take less harm than the chaise. We two can never lift up that +chaise." "But we three can," said Belle; "at least, I think so; and I +know where to find two poles which will assist us." "You had better go +to the tent," said I, "you will be wet through." "I care not for a +little wetting," said Belle; "moreover, I have more gowns than one--see +you after the horses." Thereupon, I led the horses past the mouth of the +dingle, to a place where a gap in the hedge afforded admission to the +copse or plantation on the southern side. Forcing them through the gap, +I led them to a spot amidst the trees, which I deemed would afford them +the most convenient place for standing; then, darting down into the +dingle, I brought up a rope, and also the halter of my own nag, and with +these fastened them each to a separate tree in the best manner I could. +This done, I returned to the chaise and the postillion. In a minute or +two Belle arrived with two poles, which, it seems, had long been lying, +overgrown with brushwood, in a ditch or hollow behind the plantation. +With these both she and I set to work in endeavouring to raise the fallen +chaise from the ground. + +We experienced considerable difficulty in this undertaking; at length, +with the assistance of the postillion, we saw our efforts crowned with +success--the chaise was lifted up, and stood upright on three wheels. + +"We may leave it here in safety," said I, "for it will hardly move away +on three wheels, even supposing it could run by itself; I am afraid there +is work here for a wheelwright, in which case I cannot assist you; if you +were in need of a blacksmith it would be otherwise." "I don't think +either the wheel or the axle is hurt," said the postillion, who had been +handling both; "it is only the linch-pin having dropped out that caused +the wheel to fly off; if I could but find the linch-pin!--though, +perhaps, it fell out a mile away." "Very likely," said I; "but never +mind the linch-pin, I can make you one, or something that will serve: but +I can't stay here any longer; I am going to my place below with this +young gentlewoman, and you had better follow us." "I am ready," said the +man; and after lifting up the wheel and propping it against the chaise, +he went with us, slightly limping, and with his hand pressed to his +thigh. + +As we were descending the narrow path, Belle leading the way, and myself +the last of the party, the postillion suddenly stopped short, and looked +about him. "Why do you stop?" said I. "I don't wish to offend you," +said the man, "but this seems to be a strange place you are leading me +into; I hope you and the young gentlewoman, as you call her, don't mean +me any harm--you seemed in a great hurry to bring me here." "We wished +to get you out of the rain," said I, "and ourselves too; that is, if we +can, which I rather doubt, for the canvas of a tent is slight shelter in +such a rain; but what harm should we wish to do you?" "You may think I +have money," said the man, "and I have some, but only thirty shillings, +and for a sum like that it would be hardly worth while to--" + +"Would it not?" said I; "thirty shillings, after all, are thirty +shillings, and for what I know, half a dozen throats may have been cut in +this place for that sum at the rate of five shillings each; moreover, +there are the horses, which would serve to establish this young +gentlewoman and myself in housekeeping, provided we were thinking of such +a thing." "Then I suppose I have fallen into pretty hands," said the +man, putting himself in a posture of defence; "but I'll show no craven +heart; and if you attempt to lay hands on me, I'll try to pay you in your +own coin. I'm rather lamed in the leg, but I can still use my fists; so +come on both of you, man and woman, if woman this be, though she looks +more like a grenadier." + +"Let me hear no more of this nonsense," said Belle; "if you are afraid, +you can go back to your chaise--we only seek to do you a kindness." + +"Why, he was just now talking of cutting throats," said the man. "You +brought it on yourself," said Belle; "you suspected us, and he wished to +pass a joke upon you; he would not hurt a hair of your head, were your +coach laden with gold, nor would I." "Well," said the man, "I was +wrong--here's my hand to both of you," shaking us by the hands. "I'll go +with you where you please, but I thought this a strange lonesome place, +though I ought not much to mind strange lonesome places, having been in +plenty of such when I was a servant in Italy, without coming to any +harm--come, let us move on, for 'tis a shame to keep you two in the +rain." + +So we descended the path which led into the depths of the dingle; at the +bottom I conducted the postillion to my tent, which, though the rain +dripped and trickled through it, afforded some shelter; there I bade him +sit down on the log of wood, whilst I placed myself as usual on my stone. +Belle in the meantime had repaired to her own place of abode. After a +little time, I produced a bottle of the cordial of which I have +previously had occasion to speak, and made my guest take a considerable +draught. I then offered him some bread and cheese, which he accepted +with thanks. In about an hour the rain had much abated. "What do you +now propose to do?" said I. "I scarcely know," said the man; "I suppose +I must endeavour to put on the wheel with your help." "How far are you +from your home?" I demanded. "Upwards of thirty miles," said the man; +"my master keeps an inn on the Great North Road, and from thence I +started early this morning with a family, which I conveyed across the +country to a hall at some distance from here. On my return I was beset +by the thunderstorm, which frightened the horses, who dragged the chaise +off the road to the field above, and overset it as you saw. I had +proposed to pass the night at an inn about twelve miles from here on my +way back, though how I am to get there to-night I scarcely know, even if +we can put on the wheel, for, to tell you the truth, I am shaken by my +fall, and the smoulder and smoke of that fire-ball have rather bewildered +my head; I am, moreover, not much acquainted with the way." + +"The best thing you can do," said I, "is to pass the night here; I will +presently light a fire, and endeavour to make you comfortable--in the +morning we will see to your wheel." "Well," said the man, "I shall be +glad to pass the night here, provided I do not intrude, but I must see to +the horses." Thereupon I conducted the man to the place where the horses +were tied. "The trees drip very much upon them," said the man, "and it +will not do for them to remain here all night; they will be better out on +the field picking the grass; but first of all they must have a good feed +of corn." Thereupon he went to his chaise, from which he presently +brought two small bags, partly filled with corn--into them he inserted +the mouths of the horses, tying them over their heads. "Here we will +leave them for a time," said the man; "when I think they have had enough, +I will come back, tie their fore-legs, and let them pick about." + + + + +CHAPTER XCVII + + +Fire of Charcoal--The New Comer--No Wonder!--Not a Blacksmith--A Love +Affair--Gretna Green--A Cool Thousand--Family Estates--Borough +Interest--Grand Education--Let us Hear--Already Quarrelling--Honourable +Parents--Most Heroically--Not Common People--Fresh Charcoal. + +It might be about ten o'clock at night. Belle, the postillion, and +myself sat just within the tent, by a fire of charcoal which I had +kindled in the chafing-pan. The man had removed the harness from his +horses, and, after tethering their legs, had left them for the night in +the field above to regale themselves on what grass they could find. The +rain had long since entirely ceased, and the moon and stars shone bright +in the firmament, up to which, putting aside the canvas, I occasionally +looked from the depths of the dingle. Large drops of water, however, +falling now and then upon the tent from the neighbouring trees, would +have served, could we have forgotten it, to remind us of the recent +storm, and also a certain chilliness in the atmosphere, unusual to the +season, proceeding from the moisture with which the ground was saturated; +yet these circumstances only served to make our party enjoy the charcoal +fire the more. There we sat bending over it: Belle, with her long +beautiful hair streaming over her magnificent shoulders; the postillion +smoking his pipe, in his shirt-sleeves and waistcoat, having flung aside +his great-coat, which had sustained a thorough wetting; and I without my +waggoner's slop, of which, it being in the same plight, I had also +divested myself. + +The new comer was a well-made fellow of about thirty, with an open and +agreeable countenance. I found him very well informed for a man in his +station, and with some pretensions to humour. After we had discoursed +for some time on indifferent subjects, the postillion, who had exhausted +his pipe, took it from his mouth, and, knocking out the ashes upon the +ground, exclaimed, "I little thought, when I got up in the morning, that +I should spend the night in such agreeable company, and after such a +fright." + +"Well," said I, "I am glad that your opinion of us has improved; it is +not long since you seemed to hold us in rather a suspicious light." + +"And no wonder," said the man, "seeing the place you were taking me to! I +was not a little, but very much afraid of ye both; and so I continued for +some time, though, not to show a craven heart, I pretended to be quite +satisfied; but I see I was altogether mistaken about ye. I thought you +vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers; but now--" + +"Vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers," said I; "and what are we but people +of that stamp?" + +"Oh," said the postillion, "if you wish to be thought such, I am far too +civil a person to contradict you, especially after your kindness to me, +but--" + +"But!" said I; "what do you mean by but? I would have you to know that I +am proud of being a travelling blacksmith; look at these donkey-shoes; I +finished them this day." + +The postillion took the shoes and examined them. "So you made these +shoes?" he cried at last. + +"To be sure I did; do you doubt it?" + +"Not in the least," said the man. + +"Ah! ah!" said I, "I thought I should bring you back to your original +opinion. I am, then, a vagrant Gypsy body, a tramper, a wandering +blacksmith." + +"Not a blacksmith, whatever else you may be," said the postillion, +laughing. + +"Then how do you account for my making those shoes?" + +"By your not being a blacksmith," said the postillion; "no blacksmith +would have made shoes in that manner. Besides, what did you mean just +now by saying you had finished these shoes to-day? A real blacksmith +would have flung off three or four sets of donkey-shoes in one morning, +but you, I will be sworn, have been hammering at these for days, and they +do you credit--but why?--because you are no blacksmith; no, friend, your +shoes may do for this young gentlewoman's animal, but I shouldn't like to +have my horses shod by you, unless at a great pinch indeed." + +"Then," said I, "for what do you take me?" + +"Why, for some runaway young gentleman," said the postillion. "No +offence, I hope?" + +"None at all; no one is offended at being taken or mistaken for a young +gentleman, whether runaway or not; but from whence do you suppose I have +run away?" + +"Why, from college," said the man: "no offence?" + +"None whatever; and what induced me to run away from college?" + +"A love affair, I'll be sworn," said the postillion. "You had become +acquainted with this young gentlewoman, so she and you--" + +"Mind how you get on, friend," said Belle, in a deep serious tone. + +"Pray proceed," said I; "I dare say you mean no offence." + +"None in the world," said the postillion; "all I was going to say was, +that you agreed to run away together, you from college, and she from +boarding-school. Well, there's nothing to be ashamed of in a matter like +that, such things are done every day by young folks in high life." + +"Are you offended?" said I to Belle. + +Belle made no answer; but, placing her elbows on her knees, buried her +face in her hands. + +"So we ran away together?" said I. + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "to Gretna Green, though I can't say that +I drove ye, though I have driven many a pair." + +"And from Gretna Green we came here?" + +"I'll be bound you did," said the man, "till you could arrange matters at +home." + +"And the horse-shoes?" said I. + +"The donkey-shoes you mean," answered the postillion; "why, I suppose you +persuaded the blacksmith who married you to give you, before you left, a +few lessons in his trade." + +"And we intend to stay here till we have arranged matters at home?" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "till the old people are pacified, and +they send you letters directed to the next post town, to be left till +called for, beginning with 'Dear children,' and enclosing you each a +cheque for one hundred pounds, when you will leave this place, and go +home in a coach like gentlefolks, to visit your governors; I should like +nothing better than to have the driving of you: and then there will be a +grand meeting of the two families, and after a few reproaches, the old +people will agree to do something handsome for the poor thoughtless +things; so you will have a genteel house taken for you, and an annuity +allowed you. You won't get much the first year, five hundred at the +most, in order that the old folks may let you feel that they are not +altogether satisfied with you, and that you are yet entirely in their +power; but the second, if you don't get a cool thousand, may I catch +cold, especially should young madam here present a son and heir for the +old people to fondle, destined one day to become sole heir of the two +illustrious houses; and then all the grand folks in the neighbourhood, +who have--bless their prudent hearts!--kept rather aloof from you till +then, for fear you should want anything from them--I say all the carriage +people in the neighbourhood, when they see how swimmingly matters are +going on, will come in shoals to visit you." + +"Really," said I, "you are getting on swimmingly." + +"Oh," said the postillion, "I was not a gentleman's servant nine years +without learning the ways of gentry, and being able to know gentry when I +see them." + +"And what do you say to all this?" I demanded of Belle. + +"Stop a moment," interposed the postillion, "I have one more word to +say:--and when you are surrounded by your comforts, keeping your nice +little barouche and pair, your coachman and livery servant, and visited +by all the carriage people in the neighbourhood--to say nothing of the +time when you come to the family estates on the death of the old people--I +shouldn't wonder if now and then you look back with longing and regret to +the days when you lived in the damp dripping dingle, had no better +equipage than a pony or donkey cart, and saw no better company than a +tramper or Gypsy, except once, when a poor postillion was glad to seat +himself at your charcoal fire." + +"Pray," said I, "did you ever take lessons in elocution?" + +"Not directly," said the postillion; "but my old master, who was in +Parliament, did, and so did his son, who was intended to be an orator. A +great professor used to come and give them lessons, and I used to stand +and listen, by which means I picked up a considerable quantity of what is +called rhetoric. In what I last said, I was aiming at what I have heard +him frequently endeavouring to teach my governors as a thing +indispensably necessary in all oratory, a graceful +pere--pere--peregrination." + +"Peroration, perhaps?" + +"Just so," said the postillion; "and now I'm sure I am not mistaken about +you; you have taken lessons yourself, at first hand, in the college +vacations, and a promising pupil you were, I make no doubt. Well, your +friends will be all the happier to get you back. Has your governor much +borough interest?" + +"I ask you once more," said I, addressing myself to Belle, "what you +think of the history which this good man has made for us?" + +"What should I think of it," said Belle, still keeping her face buried in +her hands, "but that it is mere nonsense?" + +"Nonsense!" said the postillion. + +"Yes," said the girl, "and you know it." + +"May my leg always ache, if I do," said the postillion, patting his leg +with his hand; "will you persuade me that this young man has never been +at college?" + +"I have never been at college, but--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "but--" + +"I have been to the best schools in Britain, to say nothing of a +celebrated one in Ireland." + +"Well, then, it comes to the same thing," said the postillion, "or +perhaps you know more than if you had been at college--and your +governor--" + +"My governor, as you call him," said I, "is dead." + +"And his borough interest?" + +"My father had no borough interest," said I; "had he possessed any, he +would perhaps not have died, as he did, honourably poor." + +"No, no," said the postillion, "if he had had borough interest, he +wouldn't have been poor, nor honourable, though perhaps a right +honourable. However, with your grand education and genteel manners, you +made all right at last by persuading this noble young gentlewoman to run +away from boarding-school with you." + +"I was never at boarding-school," said Belle, "unless you call--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "boarding-school is vulgar, I know: I beg +your pardon, I ought to have called it academy, or by some other much +finer name--you were in something much greater than a boarding-school." + +"There you are right," said Belle, lifting up her head and looking the +postillion full in the face by the light of the charcoal fire, "for I was +bred in the workhouse." + +"Wooh!" said the postillion. + +"It is true that I am of good--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "let us hear--" + +"Of good blood," continued Belle; "my name is Berners, Isopel Berners, +though my parents were unfortunate. Indeed, with respect to blood, I +believe I am of better blood than the young man." + +"There you are mistaken," said I; "by my father's side I am of Cornish +blood, and by my mother's of brave French Protestant extraction. Now, +with respect to the blood of my father--and to be descended well on the +father's side is the principal thing--it is the best blood in the world, +for the Cornish blood, as the proverb says--" + +"I don't care what the proverb says," said Belle; "I say my blood is the +best--my name is Berners, Isopel Berners--it was my mother's name, and is +better, I am sure, than any you bear, what ever that may be; and though +you say that the descent on the father's side is the principal thing--and +I know why you say so," she added with some excitement--"I say that +descent on the mother's side is of most account, because the mother--" + +"Just come from Gretna Green, and already quarrelling!" said the +postillion. + +"We do not come from Gretna Green," said Belle. + +"Ah, I had forgot," said the postillion, "none but great people go to +Gretna Green. Well, then, from church, and already quarrelling about +family, just like two great people." + +"We have never been to church," said Belle, "and to prevent any more +guessing on your part, it will be as well for me to tell you, friend, +that I am nothing to the young man, and he, of course, nothing to me. I +am a poor travelling girl, born in a workhouse: journeying on my +occasions with certain companions, I came to this hollow, where my +company quarrelled with the young man, who had settled down here, as he +had a right to do if he pleased; and not being able to drive him out, +they went away after quarrelling with me too, for not choosing to side +with them; so I stayed here along with the young man, there being room +for us both, and the place being as free to me as to him." + +"And in order that you may be no longer puzzled with respect to myself," +said I, "I will give you a brief outline of my history. I am the son of +honourable parents, who gave me a first-rate education, as far as +literature and languages went, with which education I endeavoured, on the +death of my father, to advance myself to wealth and reputation in the Big +City; but failing in the attempt, I conceived a disgust for the busy +world, and determined to retire from it. After wandering about for some +time, and meeting with various adventures, in one of which I contrived to +obtain a pony, cart, and certain tools, used by smiths and tinkers, I +came to this place, where I amused myself with making horse-shoes, or +rather pony-shoes, having acquired the art of wielding the hammer and +tongs from a strange kind of smith--not him of Gretna Green--whom I knew +in my childhood. And here I lived, doing harm to no one, quite lonely +and solitary, till one fine morning the premises were visited by this +young gentlewoman and her companions. She did herself anything but +justice when she said that her companions quarrelled with her because she +would not side with them against me; they quarrelled with her because she +came most heroically to my assistance as I was on the point of being +murdered; and she forgot to tell you that, after they had abandoned her, +she stood by me in the dark hour, comforting and cheering me, when +unspeakable dread, to which I am occasionally subject, took possession of +my mind. She says she is nothing to me, even as I am nothing to her. I +am of course nothing to her, but she is mistaken in thinking she is +nothing to me. I entertain the highest regard and admiration for her, +being convinced that I might search the whole world in vain for a nature +more heroic and devoted." + +"And for my part," said Belle, with a sob, "a more quiet agreeable +partner in a place like this I would not wish to have; it is true he has +strange ways and frequently puts words into my mouth very difficult to +utter, but--but . . . " and here she buried her face once more in her +hands. + +"Well," said the postillion, "I have been mistaken about you; that is, +not altogether, but in part. You are not rich folks, it seems, but you +are not common people, and that I could have sworn. What I call a shame +is, that some people I have known are not in your place and you in +theirs, you with their estates and borough interest, they in this dingle +with these carts and animals; but there is no help for these things. Were +I the great Mumbo Jumbo above, I would endeavour to manage matters +better; but being a simple postillion, glad to earn three shillings a +day, I can't be expected to do much." + +"Who is Mumbo Jumbo?" said I. + +"Ah!" said the postillion, "I see there may be a thing or two I know +better than yourself. Mumbo Jumbo is a god of the black coast, to which +people go for ivory and gold." + +"Were you ever there?" I demanded. + +"No," said the postillion, "but I heard plenty of Mumbo Jumbo when I was +a boy." + +"I wish you would tell us something about yourself. I believe that your +own real history would prove quite as entertaining, if not more, than +that which you imagined about us." + +"I am rather tired," said the postillion, "and my leg is rather +troublesome. I should be glad to try to sleep upon one of your blankets. +However, as you wish to hear something about me, I shall be happy to +oblige you; but your fire is rather low, and this place is chilly." + +Thereupon I arose, and put fresh charcoal on the pan; then taking it +outside the tent, with a kind of fan which I had fashioned, I fanned the +coals into a red glow, and continued doing so until the greater part of +the noxious gas, which the coals are in the habit of exhaling, was +exhausted. I then brought it into the tent and reseated myself, +scattering over the coals a small portion of sugar. "No bad smell," said +the postillion; "but upon the whole I think I like the smell of tobacco +better; and with your permission I will once more light my pipe." + +Thereupon he relighted his pipe; and, after taking two or three whiffs, +began in the following manner. + + + + +CHAPTER XCVIII + + +An Exordium--Fine Ships--High Barbary Captains--Free-born +Englishmen--Monstrous Figure--Swashbuckler--The Grand Coaches--The +Footmen--A Travelling Expedition--Black Jack--Nelson's Cannon--Pharaoh's +Butler--A Diligence--Two Passengers--Sharking Priest--Virgilio--Lessons +in Italian--Two Opinions--Holy Mary--Priestly Confederates--Methodist +Chapel--Veturini--Some of Our Party--Like a Sepulchre--All for +Themselves. + +"I am a poor postillion, as you see; yet, as I have seen a thing or two, +and heard a thing or two of what is going on in the world, perhaps what I +have to tell you connected with myself may not prove altogether +uninteresting. Now, my friends, this manner of opening a story is what +the man who taught rhetoric would call a hex--hex--" + +"Exordium," said I. + +"Just so," said the postillion; "I treated you to a per--per--peroration +some time ago, so that I have contrived to put the cart before the horse, +as the Irish orators frequently do in the honourable House, in whose +speeches, especially those who have taken lessons in rhetoric, the +per--per--what's the word?--frequently goes before the exordium. + +"I was born in the neighbouring county; my father was land-steward to a +squire of about a thousand a year. My father had two sons, of whom I am +the youngest by some years. My elder brother was of a spirited, roving +disposition, and for fear that he should turn out what is generally +termed ungain, my father determined to send him to sea: so once upon a +time, when my brother was about fifteen, he took him to the great sea- +port of the county, where he apprenticed him to a captain of one of the +ships which trade to the high Barbary coast. Fine ships they were, I +have heard say, more than thirty in number, and all belonging to a +wonderful great gentleman, who had once been a parish boy, but had +contrived to make an immense fortune by trading to that coast for gold- +dust, ivory, and other strange articles; and for doing so, I mean for +making a fortune, had been made a knight baronet. So my brother went to +the high Barbary shore, on board the fine vessel, and in about a year +returned and came to visit us; he repeated the voyage several times, +always coming to see his parents on his return. Strange stories he used +to tell us of what he had been witness to on the high Barbary coast, both +off shore and on. He said that the fine vessel in which he sailed was +nothing better than a painted hell; that the captain was a veritable +fiend, whose grand delight was in tormenting his men, especially when +they were sick, as they frequently were, there being always fever on the +high Barbary coast; and that though the captain was occasionally sick +himself, his being so made no difference, or rather it did make a +difference, though for the worse, he being when sick always more +inveterate and malignant than at other times. He said that once, when he +himself was sick, his captain had pitched his face all over, which +exploit was much applauded by the other high Barbary captains--all of +whom, from what my brother said, appeared to be of much the same +disposition as my brother's captain, taking wonderful delight in +tormenting the crews, and doing all manner of terrible things. My +brother frequently said that nothing whatever prevented him from running +away from his ship, and never returning, but the hope he entertained of +one day being captain himself, and able to torment people in his turn, +which he solemnly vowed he would do, as a kind of compensation for what +he himself had undergone. And if things were going on in a strange way +off the high Barbary shore amongst those who came there to trade, they +were going on in a way yet stranger with the people who lived upon it. + +"Oh, the strange ways of the black men who lived on that shore, of which +my brother used to tell us at home!--selling their sons, daughters, and +servants for slaves, and the prisoners taken in battle, to the Spanish +captains, to be carried to Havannah, and when there, sold at a profit, +the idea of which, my brother said, went to the hearts of our own +captains, who used to say what a hard thing it was that free-born +Englishmen could not have a hand in the traffic, seeing that it was +forbidden by the laws of their country; talking fondly of the good old +times when their forefathers used to carry slaves to Jamaica and +Barbadoes, realising immense profit, besides the pleasure of hearing +their shrieks on the voyage; and then the superstitions of the blacks, +which my brother used to talk of; their sharks' teeth, their wisps of +fowls' feathers, their half-baked pots full of burnt bones, of which they +used to make what they called fetish, and bow down to, and ask favours +of, and then, perhaps, abuse and strike, provided the senseless rubbish +did not give them what they asked for; and then, above all, Mumbo Jumbo, +the grand fetish master, who lived somewhere in the woods, and who used +to come out every now and then with his fetish companions; a monstrous +figure, all wound round with leaves and branches, so as to be quite +indistinguishable, and, seating himself on the high seat in the villages, +receive homage from the people, and also gifts and offerings, the most +valuable of which were pretty damsels, and then betake himself back +again, with his followers, into the woods. Oh, the tales that my brother +used to tell us of the high Barbary shore! Poor fellow! what became of +him I can't say; the last time he came back from a voyage, he told us +that his captain, as soon as he had brought his vessel to port and +settled with his owner, drowned himself off the quay, in a fit of the +horrors, which it seems high Barbary captains, after a certain number of +years, are much subject to. After staying about a month with us, he went +to sea again, with another captain; and, bad as the old one had been, it +appears the new one was worse, for, unable to bear his treatment, my +brother left his ship off the high Barbary shore, and ran away up the +country. Some of his comrades, whom we afterwards saw, said that there +were various reports about him on the shore; one that he had taken on +with Mumbo Jumbo, and was serving him in his house in the woods, in the +capacity of swashbuckler, or life-guardsman; another, that he was gone in +quest of a mighty city in the heart of the negro country; another, that +in swimming a stream he had been devoured by an alligator. Now, these +two last reports were bad enough; the idea of their flesh and blood being +bit asunder by a ravenous fish, was sad enough to my poor parents; and +not very comfortable was the thought of his sweltering over the hot sands +in quest of the negro city; but the idea of their son, their eldest +child, serving Mumbo Jumbo as swashbuckler, was worst of all, and caused +my poor parents to shed many a scalding tear. + +"I stayed at home with my parents until I was about eighteen, assisting +my father in various ways. I then went to live at the squire's, partly +as groom, partly as footman. After living in the country some time, I +attended the family in a trip of six weeks, which they made to London. +Whilst there, happening to have some words with an old ill-tempered +coachman, who had been for a great many years in the family, my master +advised me to leave, offering to recommend me to a family of his +acquaintance who were in need of a footman. I was glad to accept his +offer, and in a few days went to my new place. My new master was one of +the great gentry, a baronet in Parliament, and possessed of an estate of +about twenty thousand a year; his family consisted of his lady, a son, a +fine young man, just coming of age, and two very sweet amiable daughters. +I liked this place much better than my first, there was so much more +pleasant noise and bustle--so much more grand company, and so many more +opportunities of improving myself. Oh, how I liked to see the grand +coaches drive up to the door, with the grand company! and though, amidst +that company, there were some who did not look very grand, there were +others, and not a few, who did. Some of the ladies quite captivated me; +there was the Marchioness of in particular. This young lady puts me much +in mind of her; it is true, the Marchioness, as I saw her then, was about +fifteen years older than this young gentlewoman is now, and not so tall +by some inches, but she had the very same hair, and much the same neck +and shoulders--no offence, I hope? And then some of the young gentlemen, +with their cool, haughty, care-for-nothing looks, struck me as being very +fine fellows. There was one in particular, whom I frequently used to +stare at, not altogether unlike some one I have seen hereabouts--he had a +slight cast in his eye, and . . . but I won't enter into every +particular. And then the footmen! Oh, how those footmen helped to +improve me with their conversation! Many of them could converse much +more glibly than their masters, and appeared to have much better taste. +At any rate, they seldom approved of what their masters did. I remember +being once with one in the gallery of the play-house, when something of +Shakespeare's was being performed: some one in the first tier of boxes +was applauding very loudly. 'That's my fool of a governor,' said he; 'he +is weak enough to like Shakespeare--I don't;--he's so confoundedly low, +but he won't last long--going down. Shakespeare culminated--I think that +was the word--culminated some time ago.' + +"And then the professor of elocution, of whom my governors used to take +lessons, and of which lessons I had my share, by listening behind the +door; but for that professor of elocution I should not be able to round +my periods--an expression of his--in the manner I do. + +"After I had been three years at this place, my mistress died. Her +death, however, made no great alteration in my way of living, the family +spending their winters in London, and their summers at their old seat in +S--- as before. At last, the young ladies, who had not yet got husbands, +which was strange enough, seeing, as I told you before, they were very +amiable, proposed to our governor a travelling expedition abroad. The +old baronet consented, though young master was much against it, saying +they would all be much better at home. As the girls persisted, however, +he at last withdrew his opposition, and even promised to follow them as +soon as his parliamentary duties would permit; for he was just got into +Parliament, and, like most other young members, thought that nothing +could be done in the House without him. So the old gentleman and the two +young ladies set off, taking me with them, and a couple of ladies' maids +to wait upon them. First of all, we went to Paris, where we continued +three months, the old baronet and the ladies going to see the various +sights of the city and the neighbourhood, and I attending them. They +soon got tired of sightseeing, and of Paris too; and so did I. However, +they still continued there, in order, I believe, that the young ladies +might lay in a store of French finery. I should have passed my idle time +at Paris, of which I had plenty after the sight-seeing was over, very +unpleasantly, but for Black Jack. Eh! did you never hear of Black Jack? +Ah! if you had ever been an English servant in Paris, you would have +known Black Jack; not an English gentleman's servant who has been at +Paris for this last ten years but knows Black Jack and his ordinary. A +strange fellow he was--of what country no one could exactly say--for as +for judging from speech, that was impossible, Jack speaking all languages +equally ill. Some said he came direct from Satan's kitchen, and that +when he gives up keeping ordinary, he will return there again, though the +generally-received opinion at Paris was, that he was at one time butler +to King Pharaoh; and that, after lying asleep for four thousand years in +a place called the Kattycombs, he was awaked by the sound of Nelson's +cannon at the battle of the Nile, and going to the shore, took on with +the admiral, and became, in course of time, ship steward; and that after +Nelson's death he was captured by the French, on board one of whose +vessels he served in a somewhat similar capacity till the peace, when he +came to Paris, and set up an ordinary for servants, sticking the name of +Katcomb over the door, in allusion to the place where he had his long +sleep. But, whatever his origin was, Jack kept his own counsel, and +appeared to care nothing for what people said about him, or called him. +Yes, I forgot, there was one name he would not be called, and that was +'Portuguese.' I once saw Black Jack knock down a coachman, six foot +high, who called him black-faced Portuguese. 'Any name but dat, you +shab,' said Black Jack, who was a little round fellow, of about five feet +two; 'I would not stand to be called Portuguese by Nelson himself.' Jack +was rather fond of talking about Nelson, and hearing people talk about +him, so that it is not improbable that he may have sailed with him; and +with respect to his having been King Pharaoh's butler, all I have to say +is, I am not disposed to give the downright lie to the report. Jack was +always ready to do a kind turn to a poor servant out of place, and has +often been known to assist such as were in prison, which charitable +disposition he perhaps acquired from having lost a good place himself, +having seen the inside of a prison, and known the want of a meal's +victuals, all which trials King Pharaoh's butler underwent, so he may +have been that butler; at any rate, I have known positive conclusions +come to on no better premises, if indeed as good. As for the story of +his coming direct from Satan's kitchen, I place no confidence in it at +all, as Black Jack had nothing of Satan about him but blackness, on which +account he was called Black Jack. Nor am I disposed to give credit to a +report that his hatred of the Portuguese arose from some ill treatment +which he had once experienced when on shore, at Lisbon, from certain +gentlewomen of the place, but rather conclude that it arose from an +opinion he entertained that the Portuguese never paid their debts, one of +the ambassadors of that nation, whose house he had served, having left +Paris several thousand francs in his debt. This is all that I have to +say about Black Jack, without whose funny jokes, and good ordinary, I +should have passed my time in Paris in a very disconsolate manner. + +"After we had been at Paris between two and three months, we left it in +the direction of Italy, which country the family had a great desire to +see. After travelling a great many days in a thing which, though called +a diligence, did not exhibit much diligence, we came to a great big town, +seated around a nasty salt-water bason, connected by a narrow passage +with the sea. Here we were to embark; and so we did as soon as possible, +glad enough to get away--at least I was, and so I make no doubt were the +rest, for such a place for bad smells I never was in. It seems all the +drains and sewers of the place run into that same salt bason, voiding +into it all their impurities, which, not being able to escape into the +sea in any considerable quantity, owing to the narrowness of the +entrance, there accumulate, filling the whole atmosphere with these same +outrageous scents, on which account the town is a famous lodging-house of +the plague. The ship in which we embarked was bound for a place in Italy +called Naples, where we were to stay some time. The voyage was rather a +lazy one, the ship not being moved by steam; for at the time of which I +am speaking, some five years ago, steam-ships were not so plentiful as +now. There were only two passengers in the grand cabin, where my +governor and his daughters were, an Italian lady and a priest. Of the +lady I have not much to say; she appeared to be a quiet, respectable +person enough, and after our arrival at Naples I neither saw nor heard +anything more of her; but of the priest I shall have a good deal to say +in the sequel (that, by the bye, is a word I learnt from the professor of +rhetoric), and it would have been well for our family had they never met +him. + +"On the third day of the voyage the priest came to me, who was rather +unwell with seasickness, which he, of course, felt nothing of--that kind +of people being never affected like others. He was a finish-looking man +of about forty-five, but had something strange in his eyes, which I have +since thought denoted that all was not right in a certain place called +the heart. After a few words of condolence, in a broken kind of English, +he asked me various questions about our family; and I, won by his seeming +kindness, told him all I knew about them--of which communicativeness I +afterwards very much repented. As soon as he had got out of me all he +desired, he left me; and I observed that during the rest of the voyage he +was wonderfully attentive to our governor, and yet more to the young +ladies. Both, however, kept him rather at a distance; the young ladies +were reserved, and once or twice I heard our governor cursing him between +his teeth for a sharking priest. The priest, however, was not +disconcerted, and continued his attentions, which in a little time +produced an effect, so that, by the time we landed at Naples, our great +folks had conceived a kind of liking for the man, and when they took +their leave invited him to visit them, which he promised to do. We hired +a grand house or palace at Naples; it belonged to a poor kind of prince, +who was glad enough to let it to our governor, and also his servants and +carriages; and glad enough were the poor servants, for they got from us +what they never got from the prince--plenty of meat and money; and glad +enough, I make no doubt, were the horses for the provender we gave them; +and I dare say the coaches were not sorry to be cleaned and furbished up. +Well, we went out and came in; going to see the sights, and returning. +Amongst other things we saw was the burning mountain, and the tomb of a +certain sorcerer called Virgilio, who made witch rhymes, by which he +could raise the dead. Plenty of people came to see us, both English and +Italians, and amongst the rest the priest. He did not come amongst the +first, but allowed us to settle and become a little quiet before he +showed himself; and after a day or two he paid us another visit, then +another, till at last his visits were daily. + +"I did not like that Jack Priest; so I kept my eye upon all his motions. +Lord! how that Jack Priest did curry favour with our governor and the two +young ladies; and he curried, and curried, till he had got himself into +favour with the governor, and more especially with the two young ladies, +of whom their father was doatingly fond. At last the ladies took lessons +in Italian of the priest, a language in which he was said to be a grand +proficient, and of which they had hitherto known but very little; and +from that time his influence over them, and consequently over the old +governor, increased, till the tables were turned, and he no longer +curried favour with them, but they with him--yes, as true as my leg +aches, the young ladies curried, and the old governor curried favour with +that same priest; when he was with them, they seemed almost to hang on +his lips, that is, the young ladies; and as for the old governor, he +never contradicted him, and when the fellow was absent, which, by the +bye, was not often, it was, 'Father so-and-so said this, and Father so- +and-so said that; Father so-and-so thinks we should do so-and-so, or that +we should not do so-and-so.' I at first thought that he must have given +them something, some philtre or the like; but one of the English maid- +servants, who had a kind of respect for me, and who saw much more behind +the scenes than I did, informed me that he was continually instilling +strange notions into their heads, striving, by every possible method, to +make them despise the religion of their own land, and take up that of the +foreign country in which they were. And sure enough, in a little time, +the girls had altogether left off going to an English chapel, and were +continually visiting places of Italian worship. The old governor, it is +true, still went to his church, but he appeared to be hesitating between +two opinions; and once, when he was at dinner, he said to two or three +English friends, that since he had become better acquainted with it, he +had conceived a much more favourable opinion of the Catholic religion +than he had previously entertained. In a word, the priest ruled the +house, and everything was done according to his will and pleasure; by +degrees he persuaded the young ladies to drop their English +acquaintances, whose place he supplied with Italians, chiefly females. My +poor old governor would not have had a person to speak to--for he never +could learn the language--but for two or three Englishmen who used to +come occasionally and take a bottle with him in a summer-house, whose +company he could not be persuaded to resign, notwithstanding the +entreaties of his daughters, instigated by the priest, whose grand +endeavour seemed to be to render the minds of all three foolish, for his +own ends. And if he was busy above stairs with the governor, there was +another busy below with us poor English servants, a kind of subordinate +priest, a low Italian; as he could speak no language but his own, he was +continually jabbering to us in that, and by hearing him the maids and +myself contrived to pick up a good deal of the language, so that we +understood most that was said, and could speak it very fairly; and the +themes of his jabber were the beauty and virtues of one whom he called +Holy Mary, and the power and grandeur of one whom he called the Holy +Father; and he told us that we should shortly have an opportunity of +seeing the Holy Father, who could do anything he liked with Holy Mary: in +the meantime we had plenty of opportunities of seeing Holy Mary, for in +every church, chapel, and convent to which we were taken, there was an +image of Holy Mary, who, if the images were dressed at all in her +fashion, must have been very fond of short petticoats and tinsel, and +who, if those said figures at all resembled her in face, could scarcely +have been half as handsome as either of my two fellow-servants, not to +speak of the young ladies. + +"Now it happened that one of the female servants was much taken with what +she saw and heard, and gave herself up entirely to the will of the +subordinate, who had quite as much dominion over her as his superior had +over the ladies; the other maid, however, the one who had a kind of +respect for me, was not so easily besotted; she used to laugh at what she +saw, and at what the fellow told her, and from her I learnt that amongst +other things intended by these priestly confederates was robbery; she +said that the poor old governor had already been persuaded by his +daughters to put more than a thousand pounds into the superior priest's +hands for purposes of charity and religion, as was said, and that the +subordinate one had already inveigled her fellow-servant out of every +penny which she had saved from her wages, and had endeavoured likewise to +obtain what money she herself had, but in vain. With respect to myself, +the fellow shortly after made an attempt towards obtaining a hundred +crowns, of which, by some means, he knew me to be in possession, telling +me what a meritorious thing it was to give one's superfluities for the +purposes of religion. 'That is true,' said I, 'and if, after my return +to my native country, I find I have anything which I don't want myself, I +will employ it in helping to build a Methodist chapel.' + +"By the time that the three months were expired for which we had hired +the palace of the needy Prince, the old governor began to talk of +returning to England, at least of leaving Italy. I believe he had become +frightened at the calls which were continually being made upon him for +money; for after all, you know, if there is a sensitive part of a man's +wearing apparel, it is his breeches pocket; but the young ladies could +not think of leaving dear Italy and the dear priest; and then they had +seen nothing of the country, they had only seen Naples; before leaving +dear Italia they must see more of the country and the cities; above all, +they must see a place which they called the Eternal City, or some similar +nonsensical name; and they persisted so that the poor governor permitted +them, as usual, to have their way; and it was decided what route they +should take--that is, the priest was kind enough to decide for them, and +was also kind enough to promise to go with them part of the route, as far +as a place where there was a wonderful figure of Holy Mary, which the +priest said it was highly necessary for them to see before visiting the +Eternal City: so we left Naples in hired carriages, driven by fellows +they call veturini, cheating drunken dogs I remember they were. Besides +our own family there was the priest and his subordinate, and a couple of +hired lackeys. We were several days upon the journey, travelling through +a very wild country, which the ladies pretended to be delighted with, and +which the governor cursed on account of the badness of the roads; and +when we came to any particularly wild spot we used to stop, in order to +enjoy the scenery, as the ladies said; and then we would spread a horse- +cloth on the ground, and eat bread and cheese, and drink wine of the +country. And some of the holes and corners in which we bivouacked, as +the ladies called it, were something like this place where we are now, so +that when I came down here it put me in mind of them. At last we arrived +at the place where was the holy image. + +"We went to the house or chapel in which the holy image was kept--a +frightful ugly black figure of Holy Mary, dressed in her usual way; and +after we had stared at the figure, and some of our party had bowed down +to it, we were shown a great many things which were called holy relics, +which consisted of thumb-nails, and fore-nails, and toe-nails, and hair +and teeth, and a feather or two, and a mighty thigh-bone, but whether of +a man or a camel, I can't say; all of which things, I was told, if +properly touched and handled, had mighty power to cure all kinds of +disorders. And as we went from the holy house, we saw a man in a state +of great excitement: he was foaming at the mouth, and cursing the holy +image and all its household, because, after he had worshipped it and made +offerings to it, and besought it to assist him in a game of chance which +he was about to play, it had left him in the lurch, allowing him to lose +all his money. And when I thought of all the rubbish I had seen, and the +purposes which it was applied to, in conjunction with the rage of the +losing gamester at the deaf and dumb image, I could not help comparing +the whole with what my poor brother used to tell me of the superstitious +practices of the blacks on the high Barbary shore, and their occasional +rage and fury at the things they worshipped; and I said to myself, if all +this here doesn't smell of fetish may I smell fetid. + +"At this place the priest left us, returning to Naples with his +subordinate, on some particular business I suppose. It was, however, +agreed that he should visit us at the Holy City. We did not go direct to +the Holy City, but bent our course to two or three other cities which the +family were desirous of seeing; but as nothing occurred to us in these +places of any particular interest, I shall take the liberty of passing +them by in silence. At length we arrived at the Eternal City: an immense +city it was, looking as if it had stood for a long time, and would stand +for a long time still; compared with it, London would look like a mere +assemblage of bee-skeps; however, give me the bee-skeps with their merry +hum and bustle, and life and honey, rather than that huge town, which +looked like a sepulchre, where there was no life, no busy hum, no bees, +but a scanty sallow population, intermixed with black priests, white +priests, grey priests; and though I don't say there was no honey in the +place, for I believe there was, I am ready to take my Bible oath that it +was not made there, and that the priests kept it all for themselves." + + + + +CHAPTER XCIX + + +A Cloister--Half English--New Acquaintance--Mixed Liquors--Turning +Papist--Purposes of Charity--Foreign Religion--Melancholy--Elbowing and +Pushing--Outlandish Sight--The Figure--I Don't Care for You--Merry +Andrews--One Good--Religion of My Country--Fellow of Spirit--A +Dispute--The Next Morning--Female Doll--Proper Dignity--Fetish Country. + +"The day after our arrival," continued the postillion, "I was sent, under +the guidance of a lackey of the place, with a letter, which the priest, +when he left, had given us for a friend of his in the Eternal City. We +went to a large house, and on ringing were admitted by a porter into a +cloister, where I saw some ill-looking, shabby young fellows walking +about, who spoke English to one another. To one of these the porter +delivered the letter, and the young fellow going away, presently returned +and told me to follow him; he led me into a large room, where, behind a +table, on which were various papers, and a thing which they call, in that +country, a crucifix, sat a man in a kind of priestly dress. The lad +having opened the door for me, shut it behind me, and went away. The man +behind the table was so engaged in reading the letter which I had +brought, that at first he took no notice of me; he had red hair, a kind +of half-English countenance, and was seemingly about five-and-thirty. +After a little time he laid the letter down, appeared to consider a +moment, and then opened his mouth with a strange laugh, not a loud laugh, +for I heard nothing but a kind of hissing deep down the throat; all of a +sudden, however, perceiving me, he gave a slight start, but instantly +recovering himself, he inquired in English concerning the health of the +family, and where we lived: on my delivering him a card, he bade me +inform my master and the ladies that in the course of the day he would do +himself the honour of waiting upon them. He then arose and opened the +door for me to depart." The man was perfectly civil and courteous, but I +did not like that strange laugh of his, after having read the letter. He +was as good as his word, and that same day paid us a visit. It was now +arranged that we should pass the winter in Rome--to my great annoyance, +for I wished to return to my native land, being heartily tired of +everything connected with Italy. I was not, however, without hope that +our young master would shortly arrive, when I trusted that matters, as +far as the family were concerned, would be put on a better footing. In a +few days our new acquaintance, who, it seems, was a mongrel Englishman, +had procured a house for our accommodation; it was large enough, but not +near so pleasant as that we had at Naples, which was light and airy, with +a large garden. This was a dark, gloomy structure in a narrow street, +with a frowning church beside it; it was not far from the place where our +new friend lived, and its being so was probably the reason why he +selected it. It was furnished partly with articles which we bought, and +partly with those which we hired. We lived something in the same way as +at Naples; but though I did not much like Naples, I yet liked it better +than this place, which was so gloomy. Our new acquaintance made himself +as agreeable as he could, conducting the ladies to churches and convents, +and frequently passing the afternoon drinking with the governor, who was +fond of a glass of brandy and water and a cigar, as the new acquaintance +also was--no, I remember, he was fond of gin and water, and did not +smoke. I don't think he had so much influence over the young ladies as +the other priest, which was, perhaps, owing to his not being so +good-looking; but I am sure he had more influence with the governor, +owing, doubtless, to his bearing him company in drinking mixed liquors, +which the other priest did not do. + +"He was a strange fellow, that same new acquaintance of ours, and unlike +all the priests I saw in that country, and I saw plenty of various +nations:--they were always upon their guard, and had their features and +voice modulated; but this man was subject to fits of absence, during +which he would frequently mutter to himself; then, though he was +perfectly civil to everybody, as far as words went, I observed that he +entertained a thorough contempt for most people, especially for those +whom he was making dupes. I have observed him whilst drinking with our +governor, when the old man's head was turned, look at him with an air +which seemed to say, 'What a thundering old fool you are!' and at our +young ladies, when their backs were turned, with a glance which said +distinctly enough, 'You precious pair of ninny-hammers!' and then his +laugh--he had two kinds of laughs--one which you could hear, and another +which you could only see. I have seen him laugh at our governor and the +young ladies, when their heads were turned away, but I heard no sound. My +mother had a sandy cat, which sometimes used to open its mouth wide with +a mew which nobody could hear, and the silent laugh of that red-haired +priest used to put me wonderfully in mind of the silent mew of my +mother's sandy-red cat. And then the other laugh, which you could hear; +what a strange laugh that was, never loud, yes, I have heard it tolerably +loud. He once passed near me, after having taken leave of a silly +English fellow--a limping parson of the name of Platitude, who, they +said, was thinking of turning Papist, and was much in his company; I was +standing behind the pillar of a piazza, and as he passed he was laughing +heartily. Oh, he was a strange fellow, that same red-haired acquaintance +of ours! + +"After we had been at Rome about six weeks, our old friend the priest of +Naples arrived, but without his subordinate, for whose services he now +perhaps thought that he had no occasion. I believe he found matters in +our family wearing almost as favourable an aspect as he could desire: +with what he had previously taught them and shown them at Naples and +elsewhere, and with what the red-haired confederate had taught them and +shown them at Rome, the poor young ladies had become quite hand-maids of +superstition, so that they, especially the youngest, were prepared to bow +down to anything, and kiss anything, however vile and ugly, provided a +priest commanded them; and as for the old governor, what with the +influence which his daughters exerted, and what with the ascendency which +the red-haired man had obtained over him, he dared not say his purse, far +less his soul, was his own. Only think of an Englishman not being master +of his own purse! My acquaintance, the lady's maid, assured me that, to +her certain knowledge, he had disbursed to the red-haired man, for +purposes of charity, as it was said, at least one thousand pounds during +the five weeks we had been at Rome. She also told me that things would +shortly be brought to a conclusion--and so indeed they were, though in a +different manner from what she and I and some other people imagined; that +there was to be a grand festival, and a mass, at which we were to be +present, after which the family were to be presented to the Holy Father, +for so those two priestly sharks had managed it; and then . . . she said +she was certain that the two ladies, and perhaps the old governor, would +forsake the religion of their native land, taking up with that of these +foreign regions, for so my fellow-servant expressed it, and that perhaps +attempts might be made to induce us poor English servants to take up with +the foreign religion, that is herself and me, for as for our +fellow-servant, the other maid, she wanted no inducing, being disposed +body and soul to go over to it. Whereupon, I swore with an oath that +nothing should induce me to take up with the foreign religion; and the +poor maid, my fellow-servant, bursting into tears, said that for her part +she would sooner die than have anything to do with it; thereupon we shook +hands and agreed to stand by and countenance one another: and moreover, +provided our governors were fools enough to go over to the religion of +these here foreigners, we would not wait to be asked to do the like, but +leave them at once, and make the best of our way home, even if we were +forced to beg on the road. + +"At last the day of the grand festival came, and we were all to go to the +big church to hear the mass. Now it happened that for some time past I +had been much afflicted with melancholy, especially when I got up of a +morning, produced by the strange manner in which I saw things going on in +our family; and to dispel it in some degree, I had been in the habit of +taking a dram before breakfast. On the morning in question, feeling +particularly low-spirited when I thought of the foolish step our governor +would probably take before evening, I took two drams before breakfast; +and after breakfast, feeling my melancholy still continuing, I took +another, which produced a slight effect upon my head, though I am +convinced nobody observed it. + +"Away we drove to the big church; it was a dark, misty day, I remember, +and very cold, so that if anybody had noticed my being slightly in +liquor, I could have excused myself by saying that I had merely taken a +glass to fortify my constitution against the weather; and of one thing I +am certain, which is, that such an excuse would have stood me in stead +with our governor, who looked, I thought, as if he had taken one too; but +I may be mistaken, and why should I notice him, seeing that he took no +notice of me: so away we drove to the big church, to which all the +population of the place appeared to be moving. + +"On arriving there we dismounted, and the two priests, who were with us, +led the family in, whilst I followed at a little distance, but quickly +lost them amidst the throng of people. I made my way, however, though in +what direction I knew not, except it was one in which everybody seemed +striving, and by dint of elbowing and pushing I at last got to a place +which looked like the aisle of a cathedral, where the people stood in two +rows, a space between being kept open by certain strangely-dressed men +who moved up and down with rods in their hands; all were looking to the +upper end of this place or aisle; and at the upper end, separated from +the people by palings like those of an altar, sat in magnificent-looking +stalls, on the right and the left, various wonderful-looking individuals +in scarlet dresses. At the farther end was what appeared to be an altar, +on the left hand was a pulpit, and on the right a stall higher than any +of the rest, where was a figure whom I could scarcely see. + +"I can't pretend to describe what I saw exactly, for my head, which was +at first rather flurried, had become more so from the efforts which I had +made to get through the crowd; also from certain singing, which proceeded +from I know not where; and, above all, from the bursts of an organ, which +were occasionally so loud that I thought the roof, which was painted with +wondrous colours, would come toppling down on those below. So there +stood I--a poor English servant--in that outlandish place, in the midst +of that foreign crowd, looking at that outlandish sight, hearing those +outlandish sounds, and occasionally glancing at our party, which, by this +time, I distinguished at the opposite side to where I stood, but much +nearer the place where the red figures sat. Yes, there stood our poor +governor, and the sweet young ladies, and I thought they never looked so +handsome before; and close by them were the sharking priests, and not far +from them was that idiotical parson Platitude, winking and grinning, and +occasionally lifting up his hands as if in ecstasy at what he saw and +heard, so that he drew upon himself the notice of the congregation. + +"And now an individual mounted the pulpit, and began to preach in a +language which I did not understand, but which I believe to be Latin, +addressing himself seemingly to the figure in the stall; and when he had +ceased, there was more singing, more organ-playing, and then two men in +robes brought forth two things which they held up; and then the people +bowed their heads, and our poor governor bowed his head, and the sweet +young ladies bowed their heads, and the sharking priests, whilst the +idiotical parson Platitude tried to fling himself down; and then there +were various evolutions withinside the pale, and the scarlet figures got +up and sat down; and this kind of thing continued for some time. At +length the figure which I had seen in the principal stall came forth and +advanced towards the people; an awful figure he was, a huge old man with +a sugar-loaf hat, with a sulphur-coloured dress, and holding a crook in +his hand like that of a shepherd; and as he advanced the people fell on +their knees, our poor old governor amongst them; the sweet young ladies, +the sharking priests, the idiotical parson Platitude, all fell on their +knees, and somebody or other tried to pull me on my knees; but by this +time I had become outrageous; all that my poor brother used to tell me of +the superstitions of the high Barbary shore rushed into my mind, and I +thought they were acting them over here; above all, the idea that the +sweet young ladies, to say nothing of my poor old governor, were, after +the conclusion of all this mummery, going to deliver themselves up body +and soul into the power of that horrid-looking old man, maddened me, and, +rushing forward into the open space, I confronted the horrible-looking +old figure with the sugar-loaf hat, the sulphur-coloured garments, and +shepherd's crook, and shaking my fist at his nose, I bellowed out in +English-- + +"'I don't care for you, old Mumbo Jumbo, though you have fetish!' + +"I can scarcely tell you what occurred for some time. I have a dim +recollection that hands were laid upon me, and that I struck out +violently left and right. On coming to myself, I was seated on a stone +bench in a large room, something like a guard-room, in the custody of +certain fellows dressed like Merry Andrews; they were bluff, +good-looking, wholesome fellows, very different from the sallow Italians; +they were looking at me attentively, and occasionally talking to each +other in a language which sounded very like the cracking of walnuts in +the mouth, very different from cooing Italian. At last one of them asked +me in Italian what had ailed me, to which I replied, in an incoherent +manner, something about Mumbo Jumbo; whereupon the fellow, one of the +bluffest of the lot, a jovial, rosy-faced rascal, lifted up his right +hand, placing it in such a manner that the lips were between the +forefinger and thumb, then lifting up his right foot and drawing back his +head, he sucked in his breath with a hissing sound, as if to imitate one +drinking a hearty draught, and then slapped me on the shoulder, saying +something which sounded like goot wine, goot companion, whereupon they +all laughed, exclaiming, ya, ya, goot companion. And now hurried into +the room our poor old governor, with the red-haired priest. The first +asked what could have induced me to behave in such a manner in such a +place, to which I replied that I was not going to bow down to Mumbo +Jumbo, whatever other people might do. Whereupon my master said he +believed I was mad, and the priest said he believed I was drunk; to which +I answered that I was neither so mad nor drunk but I could distinguish +how the wind lay. Whereupon they left me, and in a little time I was +told by the bluff-looking Merry Andrews I was at liberty to depart. I +believe the priest, in order to please my governor, interceded for me in +high quarters. + +"But one good resulted from this affair; there was no presentation of our +family to the Holy Father, for old Mumbo was so frightened by my +outrageous looks that he was laid up for a week, as I was afterwards +informed. + +"I went home, and had scarcely been there half an hour when I was sent +for by the governor, who again referred to the scene in church, said that +he could not tolerate such scandalous behaviour, and that unless I +promised to be more circumspect in future he should be compelled to +discharge me. I said that if he was scandalised at my behaviour in the +church, I was more scandalised at all I saw going on in the family, which +was governed by two rascally priests, who, not content with plundering +him, appeared bent on hurrying the souls of us all to destruction; and +that with respect to discharging me, he could do so that moment, as I +wished to go. I believe his own reason told him that I was right, for he +made no direct answer, but, after looking on the ground for some time, he +told me to leave him. As he did not tell me to leave the house, I went +to my room, intending to lie down for an hour or two; but scarcely was I +there when the door opened, and in came the red-haired priest. He showed +himself, as he always did, perfectly civil, asked me how I was, took a +chair and sat down. After a hem or two he entered into a long +conversation on the excellence of what he called the Catholic religion; +told me that he hoped I would not set myself against the light, and +likewise against my interest; for that the family were about to embrace +the Catholic religion, and would make it worth my while to follow their +example. I told him that the family might do what they pleased, but that +I would never forsake the religion of my country for any consideration +whatever; that I was nothing but a poor servant, but I was not to be +bought by base gold. 'I admire your honourable feelings,' said he; 'you +shall have no gold; and as I see you are a fellow of spirit, and do not +like being a servant, for which I commend you, I can promise you +something better. I have a good deal of influence in this place, and if +you will not set your face against the light, but embrace the Catholic +religion, I will undertake to make your fortune. You remember those fine +fellows to-day who took you into custody? they are the guards of his +Holiness. I have no doubt that I have interest enough to procure your +enrolment amongst them.' 'What,' said I, 'become swash-buckler to Mumbo +Jumbo up here! May I--'--and here I swore--'if I do. The mere +possibility of one of their children being swash-buckler to Mumbo Jumbo +on the high Barbary shore has always been a source of heart-breaking to +my poor parents. What, then, would they not undergo, if they knew for +certain that their other child was swash-buckler to Mumbo Jumbo up here?' +Thereupon he asked me, even as you did some time ago, what I meant by +Mumbo Jumbo? And I told him all I had heard about the Mumbo Jumbo of the +high Barbary shore; telling him that I had no doubt that the old fellow +up here was his brother, or nearly related to him. The man with the red +hair listened with the greatest attention to all I said, and when I had +concluded, he got up, nodded to me, and moved to the door; ere he reached +the door I saw his shoulders shaking, and as he closed it behind him I +heard him distinctly laughing, to the tune of--he! he! he! + +"But now matters began to mend. That same evening my young master +unexpectedly arrived. I believe he soon perceived that something +extraordinary had been going on in the family. He was for some time +closeted with the governor, with whom, I believe, he had a dispute; for +my fellow-servant, the lady's maid, informed me that she heard high +words. + +"Rather late at night the young gentleman sent for me into his room, and +asked me various questions with respect to what had been going on, and my +behaviour in the church, of which he had heard something. I told him all +I knew with respect to the intrigues of the two priests in the family, +and gave him a circumstantial account of all that had occurred in the +church; adding that, under similar circumstances, I was ready to play the +same part over again. Instead of blaming me, he commended my behaviour, +told me I was a fine fellow, and said he hoped that, if he wanted my +assistance, I would stand by him: this I promised to do. Before I left +him, he entreated me to inform him the very next time I saw the priests +entering the house. + +"The next morning, as I was in the court-yard, where I had placed myself +to watch, I saw the two enter and make their way up a private stair to +the young ladies' apartment; they were attended by a man dressed +something like a priest, who bore a large box; I instantly ran to relate +what I had seen to my young master. I found him shaving. 'I will just +finish what I am about,' said he, 'and then wait upon these gentlemen.' +He finished what he was about with great deliberation; then taking a +horsewhip, and bidding me follow him, he proceeded at once to the door of +his sisters' apartment: finding it fastened, he burst it open at once +with his foot and entered, followed by myself. There we beheld the two +unfortunate young ladies down on their knees before a large female doll, +dressed up, as usual, in rags and tinsel; the two priests were standing +near, one on either side, with their hands uplifted, whilst the fellow +who brought the trumpery stood a little way down the private stair, the +door of which stood open; without a moment's hesitation, my young master +rushed forward, gave the image a cut or two with his horsewhip--then +flying at the priests, he gave them a sound flogging, kicked them down +the private stair, and spurned the man, box and image after them--then +locking the door, he gave his sisters a fine sermon, in which he +represented to them their folly in worshipping a silly wooden graven +image, which, though it had eyes, could see not; though it had ears, +could hear not; though it had hands, could not help itself; and though it +had feet, could not move about unless it were carried. Oh, it was a fine +sermon that my young master preached, and sorry I am that the Father of +the fetish, old Mumbo, did not hear it. The elder sister looked ashamed, +but the youngest, who was very weak, did nothing but wring her hands, +weep and bewail the injury which had been done to the dear image. The +young man, however, without paying much regard to either of them, went to +his father, with whom he had a long conversation, which terminated in the +old governor giving orders for preparations to be made for the family's +leaving Rome and returning to England. I believe that the old governor +was glad of his son's arrival, and rejoiced at the idea of getting away +from Italy, where he had been so plundered and imposed upon. The +priests, however, made another attempt upon the poor young ladies. By +the connivance of the female servant who was in their interest they found +their way once more into their apartment, bringing with them the fetish +image, whose body they partly stripped, exhibiting upon it certain +sanguine marks which they had daubed upon it with red paint, but which +they said were the result of the lashes which it had received from the +horsewhip. The youngest girl believed all they said, and kissed and +embraced the dear image; but the eldest, whose eyes had been opened by +her brother, to whom she was much attached, behaved with proper dignity; +for, going to the door, she called the female servant who had a respect +for me, and in her presence reproached the two deceivers for their +various impudent cheats, and especially for this their last attempt at +imposition; adding, that if they did not forthwith withdraw and rid her +sister and herself of their presence, she would send word by her maid to +her brother, who would presently take effectual means to expel them. They +took the hint and departed, and we saw no more of them. + +"At the end of three days we departed from Rome, but the maid whom the +priests had cajoled remained behind, and it is probable that the youngest +of our ladies would have done the same thing if she could have had her +own will, for she was continually raving about her image, and saying she +should wish to live with it in a convent; but we watched the poor thing, +and got her on board ship. Oh, glad was I to leave that fetish country +and old Mumbo behind me!" + + + + +CHAPTER C + + +Nothing but Gloom--Sporting Character--Gouty Tory--Servants' +Club--Politics--Reformado Footman--Peroration--Good Night. + +"We arrived in England, and went to our country seat, but the peace and +tranquillity of the family had been marred, and I no longer found my +place the pleasant one which it had formerly been; there was nothing but +gloom in the house, for the youngest daughter exhibited signs of lunacy, +and was obliged to be kept under confinement. The next season I attended +my master, his son, and eldest daughter to London, as I had previously +done. There I left them, for hearing that a young baronet, an +acquaintance of the family, wanted a servant, I applied for the place, +with the consent of my masters, both of whom gave me a strong +recommendation; and, being approved of, I went to live with him. + +"My new master was what is called a sporting character, very fond of the +turf, upon which he was not very fortunate. He was frequently very much +in want of money, and my wages were anything but regularly paid; +nevertheless, I liked him very much, for he treated me more like a friend +than a domestic, continually consulting me as to his affairs. At length +he was brought nearly to his last shifts, by backing the favourite at the +Derby, which favourite turned out a regular brute, being found nowhere at +the rush. Whereupon, he and I had a solemn consultation over fourteen +glasses of brandy and water, and as many cigars--I mean, between us--as +to what was to be done. He wished to start a coach, in which event he +was to be driver, and I guard. He was quite competent to drive a coach, +being a first-rate whip, and I dare say I should have made a first-rate +guard; but, to start a coach requires money, and we neither of us +believed that anybody would trust us with vehicles and horses, so that +idea was laid aside. We then debated as to whether or not he should go +into the Church; but to go into the Church--at any rate to become a dean +or bishop, which would have been our aim--it is necessary for a man to +possess some education; and my master, although he had been at the best +school in England, that is, the most expensive, and also at College, was +almost totally illiterate, so we let the Church scheme follow that of the +coach. At last, bethinking me that he was tolerably glib at the tongue, +as most people are who are addicted to the turf, also a great master of +slang; remembering also that he had a crabbed old uncle who had some +borough interest, I proposed that he should get into the House, promising +in one fortnight to qualify him to make a figure in it, by certain +lessons which I would give him. He consented; and during the next +fortnight I did little else than give him lessons in elocution, following +to a tittle the method of the great professor, which I had picked up, +listening behind the door. At the end of that period, we paid a visit to +his relation, an old gouty Tory, who, at first, received us very coolly. +My master, however, by flattering a predilection of his for Billy Pitt, +soon won his affections so much, that he promised to bring him into +Parliament; and in less than a month was as good as his word. My master, +partly by his own qualifications, and partly by the assistance which he +had derived, and still occasionally derived from me, cut a wonderful +figure in the House, and was speedily considered one of the most +promising speakers; he was always a good hand at promising--he is at +present, I believe, a Cabinet Minister. + +"But as he got up in the world he began to look down on me. I believe he +was ashamed of the obligation under which he lay to me; and at last, +requiring no farther hints as to oratory from a poor servant like me, he +took an opportunity of quarrelling with me and discharging me. However, +as he had still some grace, he recommended me to a gentleman with whom, +since he had attached himself to politics, he had formed an acquaintance, +the editor of a grand Tory Review. I lost caste terribly amongst the +servants for entering the service of a person connected with a profession +so mean as literature; and it was proposed at the Servants' Club, in Park +Lane, to eject me from that society. The proposition, however, was not +carried into effect, and I was permitted to show myself among them, +though few condescended to take much notice of me. My master was one of +the best men in the world, but also one of the most sensitive. On his +veracity being impugned by the editor of a newspaper, he called him out, +and shot him through the arm. Though servants are seldom admirers of +their masters, I was a great admirer of mine, and eager to follow his +example. The day after the encounter, on my veracity being impugned by +the servant of Lord C--- in something I said in praise of my master, I +determined to call him out; so I went into another room and wrote a +challenge. But whom should I send it by? Several servants to whom I +applied refused to be the bearers of it; they said I had lost caste, and +they could not think of going out with me. At length the servant of the +Duke of B--- consented to take it; but he made me to understand that, +though he went out with me, he did so merely because he despised the +Whiggish principles of Lord C---'s servant, and that if I thought he +intended to associate with me I should be mistaken. Politics, I must +tell you, at that time ran as high amongst the servants as the gentlemen, +the servants, however, being almost invariably opposed to the politics of +their respective masters, though both parties agreed in one point, the +scouting of everything low and literary, though I think, of the two, the +liberal or reform party were the most inveterate. So he took my +challenge, which was accepted; we went out, Lord C---'s servant being +seconded by a reformado footman from the palace. We fired three times +without effect; but this affair lost me my place; my master on hearing it +forthwith discharged me; he was, as I have said before, very sensitive, +and he said this duel of mine was a parody of his own. Being, however, +one of the best men in the world, on his discharging me he made me a +donation of twenty pounds. + +"And it was well that he made me this present, for without it I should +have been penniless, having contracted rather expensive habits during the +time that I lived with the young baronet. I now determined to visit my +parents, whom I had not seen for years. I found them in good health, +and, after staying with them for two months, I returned again in the +direction of town, walking, in order to see the country. On the second +day of my journey, not being used to such fatigue, I fell ill at an inn +on the Great North Road, and there I continued for some weeks till I +recovered, but by that time my money was entirely spent. By living at +the inn I had contracted an acquaintance with the master and the people, +and become accustomed to inn life. As I thought that I might find some +difficulty in procuring any desirable situation in London, owing to my +late connection with literature, I determined to remain where I was, +provided my services would be accepted. I offered them to the master, +who, finding I knew something of horses, engaged me as a postillion. I +have remained there since. You have now heard my story. + +"Stay, you shan't say that I told my tale without a per--peroration. What +shall it be? Oh, I remember something which will serve for one! As I +was driving my chaise some weeks ago; I saw standing at the gate of an +avenue, which led up to an old mansion, a figure which I thought I +recognised. I looked at it attentively, and the figure, as I passed, +looked at me; whether it remembered me I do not know, but I recognised +the face it showed me full well. + +"If it was not the identical face of the red-haired priest whom I had +seen at Rome, may I catch cold! + +"Young gentleman, I will now take a spell on your blanket--young lady, +good night." + +THE END. {437} + + + + +Footnotes: + + +{22} Greenwich. + +{27a} Cf. French _chaperon_. + +{27b} The Gentile's coming. + +{27c} Gypsy fellows. + +{33} Hearken, thimbla, +Comes a Gentile. + +{35a} A meaningless verse. + +{35b} Rather, _Okki tiro piomus_. + +{36} Books. + +{37} _Tatchi romadi_. + +{38} Great City. + +{39a} Meant for "ghost," but not real Anglo-Romany. + +{39b} _Jerry_ Abershaw (_c._ 1773-95), a highwayman who haunted +Wimbledon Common, and was hanged on Kennington Common for shooting a +constable. + +{43a} Thomas Blood (_c._ 1618-80). See T. Seccombe's _Lives of Twelve +Bad Men_ (1894). + +{43b} In December 1670. + +{63} ?Amesbury. + +{65} The Avon. + +{72a} The so-called (by Stukeley) "Vespasian's Ramparts." + +{72b} Salisbury. + +{87} This practice is not so uncommon. Dr. Johnson had a very similar +habit in his "sort of magical movement" (Life by Boswell, end of year +1764); and a member of my own college at Oxford, nearly thirty years ago, +touched just like the man in _Lavengro_. Once in the Schools he +remembered he had passed by a pebble which he had noticed in the High +Street: he tore up his papers, and went and picked up the pebble. + +{88} Mr. William Bodham Donne, the examiner of plays 1857-74, was told +by Borrow himself that this "Man who Touched" was drawn from the author +of _Vathek_, William Beckford (1760-1844). There are difficulties in the +way of accepting this statement, among them that Beckford had quitted +Fonthill for Bath in 1822, three years before Borrow went a-gypsying. +Still, I believe there is something in it. + +{114} A thing done oftener in books than in reality. + +{121} Richard Hurrell Froude in a letter of 1831 brands Dissenters as +"the promoters of damnable heresy." + +{139} A branch of the great Gypsy family of Boswell have contracted the +surname to Boss. + +{142} At Tamworth in May 1812 (Knapp, i. 105). + +{156} The Gypsy lass +And the Gypsy lad +Shall go to-morrow +To poison the pig +And bewitch the horse +Of the farmer gentleman. + +{160} The Gypsy lass +And the Gypsy lad +Love stealing +And fortune-telling, +And lying, +And every _-pen_ +But goodness +And truth. + +{161} Dog. Better, _jukel_. + +{165a} By my God; not Anglo-Romany. + +{165b} Coppersmith. + +{167} Grand-aunt's. + +{168} Cake. + +{169} Rod. + +{170} Aunt. + +{174a} Poisoned. + +{174b} Fortune-telling spirit. I never met the English Gypsy that used +_dook_. + +{177} Gentile's coming. + +{188} In my _Gypsy Folk-Tales_ (1899, pp. 293-95) I have discussed with +some fulness Bunyan's possible Gypsy ancestry. The most interesting +point is that in 1586 at Launceston a child was baptized "Nicholas, sonne +of James Bownian, an Egiptian rogue." + +{201} Ellis Wynn (_c._ 1671-1741). Borrow himself at last printed his +translation of _The Sleeping Bard_ at Yarmouth in 1860, and himself next +year reviewed it in the _Quarterly_. + +{238} Rhys Prichard (1579-1644). + +{246} Hat of beaver. + +{247} Good day, brother. + +{249a} Seems meant for "hang-woman," but there is no such word. + +{249b} Gipsy-wise--an odd form. + +{250a} Good old blood. Should be _rat_, not _rati_. + +{250b} Horse. + +{251} Brother, comrade. + +{252a} Aunt. + +{252b} Poisoning pigs. + +{253a} Poisons; not Anglo-Romany. + +{253b} Better, _nashado_, hanged. + +{254a} Magistrate. + +{254b} Runner, detective. + +{255a} Woman. Rightly _juvel_. + +{255b} No such word. + +{256} Seemingly "gallows," but no such word. + +{257a} Gypsy chap. + +{257b} _Engro_ is a mere termination, like _-er_ in _runner_. + +{259} Fool. + +{260} Fists. Prizefighters' slang. + +{263} Blacksmith. + +{264a} Tell fortunes. + +{264b} Hill Town, Norwich, but better, _Chumba Gav_. + +{264c} "Go with God." Not English Romany. + +{267} Horse-shoe. + +{268a} Better, _yogesko chivs_. + +{268b} Probably "brother," but not English Romany. + +{268c} Unknown to English Gypsies. + +{268d} Beating. + +{268e} Questionable. + +{269} Destiny. + +{270a} Knife. + +{270b} Foot. Not English Romany. + +{270c} Nail, questionable. + +{280} Horse. + +{283} Son; better, _chavo_. + +{285} As I was going to the town one day +I met on the road my Gypsy lass. + +{287} In again. + +{293} Woman, thieves' cant. + +{294a} Ghost. + +{294b} Knive, thieves' cant. + +{294c} _Moila_, donkey. + +{324a} Gentile listening. + +{324b} Yonder there. + +{330} _Mumper_, sling for "vagabond." + +{347} Cardinal Giuseppe Mezzofanti (1774-1849), who could speak fifty- +eight languages. + +{437} Did ever any other book break off like this one? And _The Romany +Rye_ opens calmly with: "I awoke at the first break of day, and, leaving +the postillion fast asleep, stepped out of the tent." + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAVENGRO*** + + +******* This file should be named 22878.txt or 22878.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/8/7/22878 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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