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diff --git a/old/pmfjs10.txt b/old/pmfjs10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d0d18e4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/pmfjs10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8693 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext Confessions of A Justified Sinner, by Hogg +The complete title is: +The Private Memoirs and Confessions of A Justified Sinner +By James Hogg + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Scanned in by Andreas Philipp +aphilipp@andinet.com +Proofing by Martin Adamson + + + + + +THE PRIVATE MEMOIRS +AND CONFESSIONS +OF A JUSTIFIED SINNER + +WRITTEN BY HIMSELF + +WITH A DETAIL OF CURIOUS TRADITIONARY FACTS, AND +OTHER EVIDENCE, BY THE EDITOR + +By James Hogg + + + + +THE EDITOR'S NARRATIVE + + +It appears from tradition, as well as some parish registers still +extant, that the lands of Dalcastle (or Dalchastel, as it is often +spelled) were possessed by a family of the name of Colwan, +about one hundred and fifty years ago, and for at least a century +previous to that period. That family was supposed to have been a +branch of the ancient family of Colquhoun, and it is certain that +from it spring the Cowans that spread towards the Border. I find +that, in the year 1687, George Colwan succeeded his uncle of the +same name, in the lands of Dalchastel and Balgrennan; and, this +being all I can gather of the family from history, to tradition I +must appeal for the remainder of the motley adventures of that +house. But, of the matter furnished by the latter of these powerful +monitors, I have no reason to complain: It has been handed down +to the world in unlimited abundance; and I am certain that, in +recording the hideous events which follow, I am only relating to +the greater part of the inhabitants of at least four counties of +Scotland matters of which they were before perfectly well +informed. + +This George was a rich man, or supposed to be so, and was +married, when considerably advanced in life, to the sole heiress +and reputed daughter of a Baillie Orde, of Glasgow. This proved +a conjunction anything but agreeable to the parties contracting. It +is well known that the Reformation principles had long before +that time taken a powerful hold of the hearts and affections of the +people of Scotland, although the feeling was by no means +general, or in equal degrees; and it so happened that this married +couple felt completely at variance on the subject. Granting it to +have been so, one would have thought that the laird, owing to his +retiring situation, would have been the one that inclined to the +stern doctrines of the reformers; and that the young and gay dame +from the city would have adhered to the free principles cherished +by the court party, and indulged in rather to extremity, in +opposition to their severe and carping contemporaries. + +The contrary, however, happened to be the case. The laird was +what his country neighbours called "a droll, careless chap", with a +very limited proportion of the fear of God in his heart, and very +nearly as little of the fear of man. The laird had not intentionally +wronged or offended either of the parties, and perceived not the +necessity of deprecating their vengeance. He had hitherto +believed that he was living in most cordial terms with the greater +part of the inhabitants of the earth, and with the powers above in +particular: but woe be unto him if he was not soon convinced of +the fallacy of such damning security! for his lady was the most +severe and gloomy of all bigots to the principles of the +Reformation. Hers were not the tenets of the great reformers, but +theirs mightily overstrained and deformed. Theirs was an unguent +hard to be swallowed; but hers was that unguent embittered and +overheated until nature could not longer bear it. She had imbibed +her ideas from the doctrines of one flaming predestinarian divine +alone; and these were so rigid that they became a stumbling block +to many of his brethren, and a mighty handle for the enemies of +his party to turn the machine of the state against them. + +The wedding festivities at Dalcastle partook of all the gaiety, not +of that stern age, but of one previous to it. There was feasting, +dancing, piping, and singing: the liquors were handed, around in +great fulness, the ale in large wooden bickers, and the brandy in +capacious horns of oxen. The laird gave full scope to his homely +glee. He danced--he snapped his fingers to the music--clapped his +hands and shouted at the turn of the tune. He saluted every girl in +the hall whose appearance was anything tolerable, and requested +of their sweethearts to take the same freedom with his bride, by +way of retaliation. But there she sat at the head of the hall in still +and blooming beauty, absolutely refusing to tread a single +measure with any gentleman there. The only enjoyment in which +she appeared to partake was in now and then stealing a word of +sweet conversation with her favourite pastor about divine things; +for he had accompanied her home after marrying her to her +husband, to see her fairly settled in her new dwelling. He +addressed her several times by her new name, Mrs. Colwan; but +she turned away her head disgusted, and looked with pity and +contempt towards the old inadvertent sinner, capering away in the +height of his unregenerated mirth. The minister perceived the +workings of her pious mind, and thenceforward addressed her by +the courteous title of Lady Dalcastle, which sounded somewhat +better, as not coupling her name with one of the wicked: and +there is too great reason to believe that, for all the solemn vows +she had come under, and these were of no ordinary binding, +particularly on the laird's part, she at that time despised, if not +abhorred him, in her heart. + +The good parson again blessed her, and went away. She took +leave of him with tears in her eyes, entreating him often to visit +her in that heathen land of the Amorite, the Hittite, and the +Girgashite: to which he assented, on many solemn and qualifying +conditions--and then the comely bride retired to her chamber to +pray. + +It was customary, in those days, for the bride's-man and maiden, +and a few select friends, to visit the new-married couple after +they had retired to rest, and drink a cup to their healths, their +happiness, and a numerous posterity. But the laird delighted not +in this: he wished to have his jewel to himself; and, slipping away +quietly from his jovial party, he retired to his chamber to his +beloved, and bolted the door. He found her engaged with the +writings of the Evangelists, and terribly demure. The laird went +up to caress her; but she turned away her head, and spoke of the +follies of aged men, and something of the broad way that leadeth +to destruction. The laird did not thoroughly comprehend this +allusion; but being considerably flustered by drinking, and +disposed to take all in good part, he only remarked, as he took off +his shoes and stockings, that, "whether the way was broad or +narrow, it was time that they were in their bed." + +"Sure, Mr. Colwan, you won't go to bed to-night, at such an +important period of your life, without first saying prayers for +yourself and me." + +When she said this, the laird had his head down almost to the +ground, loosing his shoe-buckle; but when he heard of prayers, on +such a night, he raised his face suddenly up, which was all over +as flushed and red as a rose, and answered: + +"Prayers, Mistress! Lord help your crazed head, is this a night for +prayers?" + +He had better have held his peace. There was such a torrent of +profound divinity poured out upon him that the laird became +ashamed, both of himself and his new-made spouse, and wist not +what to say: but the brandy helped him out. + +"It strikes me, my dear, that religious devotion would be +somewhat out of place to-night," said he. "Allowing that it is ever +so beautiful, and ever so beneficial, were we to ride on the +rigging of it at all times, would we not be constantly making a +farce of it: It would be like reading the Bible and the jestbook, +verse about, and would render the life of man a medley of +absurdity and confusion." + +But, against the cant of the bigot or the hypocrite, no reasoning +can aught avail. If you would argue until the end of life, the +infallible creature must alone be right. So it proved with the laird. +One Scripture text followed another, not in the least connected, +and one sentence of the profound Mr. Wringhim's sermons after +another, proving the duty of family worship, till the laird lost +patience, and tossing himself into bed, said carelessly that he +would leave that duty upon her shoulders for one night. + +The meek mind of Lady Dalcastle was somewhat disarranged by +this sudden evolution. She felt that she was left rather in an +awkward situation. However, to show her unconscionable spouse +that she was resolved to hold fast her integrity, she kneeled down +and prayed in terms so potent that she deemed she was sure of +making an impression on him. She did so; for in a short time the +laird began to utter a response so fervent that she was utterly +astounded, and fairly driven from the chain of her orisons. He +began, in truth, to sound a nasal bugle of no ordinary calibre--the +notes being little inferior to those of a military trumpet. The lady +tried to proceed, but every returning note from the bed burst on +her ear with a louder twang, and a longer peal, till the concord of +sweet sounds became so truly pathetic that the meek spirit of the +dame was quite overcome; and, after shedding a flood of tears, +she arose from her knees, and retired to the chimney-corner with +her Bible in her lap, there to spend the hours in holy meditation +till such time as the inebriated trumpeter should awaken to a +sense of propriety. + +The laird did not awake in any reasonable time; for, he being +overcome with fatigue and wassail, his sleep became sounder, +and his Morphean measures more intense. These varied a little in +their structure; but the general run of the bars sounded something +in this way: "Hic-hoc-wheew!" It was most profoundly ludicrous; +and could not have missed exciting risibility in anyone save a +pious, a disappointed, and humbled bride. + +The good dame wept bitterly. She could not for her life go and +awaken the monster, and request him to make room for her: but +she retired somewhere, for the laird, on awaking next morning, +found that he was still lying alone. His sleep had been of the +deepest and most genuine sort; and, all the time that it lasted, he +had never once thought of either wives, children, or sweethearts, +save in the way of dreaming about them; but, as his +spirit began again by slow degrees to verge towards the +boundaries of reason, it became lighter and more buoyant from +the effects of deep repose, and his dreams partook of that +buoyancy, yea, to a degree hardly expressible. He dreamed of the +reel, the jig, the strathspey, and the corant; and the elasticity of +his frame was such that he was bounding over the heads of +maidens, and making his feet skimmer against the ceiling, +enjoying, the while, the most ecstatic emotions. These grew too +fervent for the shackles of the drowsy god to restrain. The nasal +bugle ceased its prolonged sounds in one moment, and a sort of +hectic laugh took its place. "Keep it going--play up, you devils!" +cried the laird, without changing his position on the pillow. But +this exertion to hold the fiddlers at their work fairly awakened the +delighted dreamer, and, though he could not refrain from +continuing, his laugh, beat length, by tracing out a regular chain +of facts, came to be sensible of his real situation. "Rabina, where +are you? What's become of you, my dear?" cried the laird. But +there was no voice nor anyone that answered or regarded. He +flung open the curtains, thinking to find her still on her knees, as +he had seen her, but she was not there, either sleeping or waking. +"Rabina! Mrs. Colwan!" shouted he, as loud as he could call, and +then added in the same breath, "God save the king--I have lost my +wife!" + +He sprung up and opened the casement: the day-light was +beginning to streak the east, for it was spring, and the nights were +short, and the mornings very long. The laird half dressed himself +in an instant, and strode through every room in the house, +opening the windows as he went, and scrutinizing every bed and +every corner. He came into the hall where the wedding festival +had been held; and as he opened the various windowboards, +loving couples flew off like hares surprised too late in the +morning among the early braird. "Hoo-boo! Fie, be frightened!" +cried the laird. "Fie, rin like fools, as if ye were caught in an ill- +turn!" His bride was not among them; so he was obliged to betake +himself to further search. "She will be praying in some corner, +poor woman," said he to himself. "It is an unlucky thing this +praying. But, for my part, I fear I have behaved very ill; and I +must endeavour to make amends." + +The laird continued his search, and at length found his beloved in +the same bed with her Glasgow cousin who had acted as +bridesmaid. "You sly and malevolent imp," said the laird; "you +have played me such a trick when I was fast asleep! I have not +known a frolic so clever, and, at the same time, so severe. Come +along, you baggage you!" + +"Sir, I will let you know that I detest your principles and your +person alike," said she. "It shall never be said, Sir, that my person +was at the control of a heathenish man of Belial--a dangler among +the daughters of women--a promiscuous dancer--and a player of +unlawful games. Forgo your rudeness, Sir, I say, and depart away +from my presence and that of my kinswoman. + +"Come along, I say, my charming Rab. If you were the pink of all +puritans, and the saint of all saints, you are my wife, and must do +as I command you." + +"Sir, I will sooner lay down my life than be subjected to your +godless will; therefore I say, desist, and begone with you." + +But the laird regarded none of these testy sayings: he rolled her in +a blanket, and bore her triumphantly away to his chamber, taking +care to keep a fold or two of the blanket always rather near to her +mouth, in case of any outrageous forthcoming of noise. + +The next day at breakfast the bride was long in making her +appearance. Her maid asked to see her; but George did not choose +that anybody should see her but himself. He paid her several +visits, and always turned the key as he came out. At length +breakfast was served; and during the time of refreshment the laird +tried to break several jokes; but it was remarked that they wanted +their accustomed brilliancy, and that his nose was particularly red +at the top. + +Matters, without all doubt, had been very bad between the new- +married couple; for in the course of the day the lady deserted her +quarters, and returned to her father's house in Glasgow, after +having been a night on the road; stage-coaches and steam-boats +having then no existence in that quarter. + +Though Baillie Orde had acquiesced in his wife's asseveration +regarding the likeness of their only daughter to her father, he +never loved or admired her greatly; therefore this behaviour +nothing astounded him. He questioned her strictly as to the +grievous offence committed against her, and could discover +nothing that warranted a procedure so fraught with disagreeable +consequences. So, after mature deliberation, the baillie addressed +her as follows: + +"Aye, aye, Raby! An' sae I find that Dalcastle has actually refused +to say prayers with you when you ordered him; an' has guidit you +in a rude indelicate manner, outstepping the respect due to my +daughter--as my daughter. But, wi' regard to what is due to his +own wife, of that he's a better judge nor me. However, since he +has behaved in that manner to MY DAUGHTER, I shall be +revenged on him for aince; for I shall return the obligation to ane +nearer to him: that is, I shall take pennyworths of his wife--an' let +him lick at that." + +"What do you mean, Sir?" said the astonished damsel. + +"I mean to be revenged on that villain Dalcastle," said he, "for +what he has done to my daughter. Come hither, Mrs. Colwan, you +shall pay for this." + +So saying, the baillie began to inflict corporal punishment on the +runaway wife. His strokes were not indeed very deadly, but he +made a mighty flourish in the infliction, pretending to be in a +great rage only at the Laird of Dalcastle. "Villain that he is!" +exclaimed he, 'I shall teach him to behave in such a manner to a +child of mine, be she as she may; since I cannot get at himself, I +shall lounder her that is nearest to him in life. Take you that, and +that, Mrs. Colwan, for your husband's impertinence!" + +The poor afflicted woman wept and prayed, but the baillie would +not abate aught of his severity. After fuming and beating her with +many stripes, far drawn, and lightly laid down, he took her up. to +her chamber, five stories high, locked her in, and there he fed her +on bread and water, all to be revenged on the presumptuous Laird +of Dalcastle; but ever and anon, as the baillie came down the stair +from carrying his daughter's meal, he said to himself: "I shall +make the sight of the laird the blithest she ever saw in her life." + +Lady Dalcastle got plenty of time to read, and pray, and meditate; +but she was at a great loss for one to dispute with about religious +tenets; for she found that, without this advantage, about which +there was a perfect rage at that time, the reading and learning of +Scripture texts, and sentences of intricate doctrine, availed her +naught; so she was often driven to sit at her casement and look +out for the approach of the heathenish Laird of Dalcastle. + +That hero, after a considerable lapse of time, at length made his +appearance. Matters were not hard to adjust; for his lady found +that there was no refuge for her in her father's house; and so, after +some sighs and tears, she accompanied her husband home. For all +that had passed, things went on no better. She WOULD convert +the laird in spite of his teeth: the laird would not be converted. +She WOULD have the laird to say family prayers, both morning +and evening: the laird would neither pray morning nor evening. +He would not even sing psalms, and kneel beside her while she +performed the exercise; neither would he converse at all times, +and in all places, about the sacred mysteries of religion, although +his lady took occasion to contradict flatly every assertion that he +made, in order that she might spiritualize him by drawing him +into argument. + +The laird kept his temper a long while, but at length his patience +wore out; he cut her short in all her futile attempts at +spiritualization, and mocked at her wire-drawn degrees of faith, +hope, and repentance. He also dared to doubt of the great +standard doctrine of absolute predestination, which put the crown +on the lady's Christian resentment. She declared her helpmate to +be a limb of Antichrist, and one with whom no regenerated +person could associate. She therefore bespoke a separate +establishment, and, before the expiry of the first six months, the +arrangements of the separation were amicably adjusted. The +upper, or third, story of the old mansion-house was awarded to +the lady for her residence. She had a separate door, a separate +stair, a separate garden, and walks that in no instance intersected +the laird's; so that one would have thought the separation +complete. They had each their own parties, selected from their +own sort of people; and, though the laird never once chafed +himself about the lady's companies, it was not long before she +began to intermeddle about some of his. + +"Who is that fat bouncing dame that visits the laird so often, and +always by herself?" said she to her maid Martha one day. + +"Oh dear, mem, how can I ken? We're banished frae our +acquaintances here, as weel as frae the sweet gospel ordinances." + +"Find me out who that jolly dame is, Martha. You, who hold +communion with the household of this ungodly man, can be at no +loss to attain this information. I observe that she always casts her +eye up toward our windows, both in coming and going; and I +suspect that she seldom departs from the house emptyhanded." + +That same evening Martha came with the information that this +august visitor was a Miss Logan, an old an intimate acquaintance +of the laird's, and a very worthy respectable lady, of good +connections, whose parents had lost their patrimony in the civil +wars. + +"Ha! very well!" said the lady; "very well, Martha! But, +nevertheless, go thou and watch this respectable lady's motions +and behaviour the next time she comes to visit the laird--and the +next after that. You will not, I see, lack opportunities." + +Martha's information turned out of that nature that prayers were +said in the uppermost story of Dalcastle house against the +Canaanitish woman, every night and every morning; and great +discontent prevailed there, even to anathemas and tears. Letter +after letter was dispatched to Glasgow; and at length, to the lady's +great consolation, the Rev. Mr. Wringhim arrived safely and +devoutly in her elevated sanctuary. Marvellous was the +conversation between these gifted people. Wringhim had held in +his doctrines that there were eight different kinds of FAITH, all +perfectly distinct in their operations and effects. But the lady, in +her secluded state, had discovered another five, making twelve +[sic] in all: the adjusting of the existence or fallacy of these five +faiths served for a most enlightened discussion of nearly +seventeen hours; in the course of which the two got warm in their +arguments, always in proportion as they receded from nature, +utility, and common sense. Wringhim at length got into unwonted +fervour about some disputed point between one of these faiths +and TRUST: when the lady, fearing that zeal was getting beyond +its wonted barrier, broke in on his vehement asseverations with +the following abrupt discomfiture: "But, Sir, as long as I +remember, what is to be done with this case of open and avowed +iniquity?" + +The minister was struck dumb. He leaned him back on his chair, +stroked his beard, hemmed--considered, and hemmed again, and +then said. in an altered and softened tone: "Why, that is a +secondary consideration; you mean the case between your +husband and Miss Logan?" + +"The same, Sir. I am scandalized at such intimacies going on +under my nose. The sufferance of it is a great and crying evil." + +"Evil, madam, may be either operative, or passive. To them it is +an evil, but to us none. We have no more to do with the sins of +the wicked and unconverted here than with those of an infidel +Turk; for all earthly bonds and fellowships are absorbed and +swallowed up in the holy community of the Reformed Church. +However, if it is your wish, I shall take him to task, and +reprimand and humble him in such a manner that he shall be +ashamed of his doings, and renounce such deeds for ever, out of +mere self-respect, though all unsanctified the heart, as well as the +deed, may be. To the wicked, all things are wicked; but to the +just, all things are just and right." + +"Ah, that is a sweet and comfortable saying, Mr. Wringhim! How +delightful to think that a justified person can do no wrong! Who +would not envy the liberty wherewith we are made free? Go to +my husband, that poor unfortunate, blindfolded person, and open +his eyes to his degenerate and sinful state; for well are you fitted +to the task." + +"Yea, I will go in unto him, and confound him. I will lay the +strong holds of sin and Satan as flat before my face as the dung +that is spread out to fatten the land." + +"Master, there's a gentleman at the fore-door wants a private. +word o' ye." + +"Tell him I'm engaged: I can't see any gentleman to-night. But I +shall attend on him to-morrow as soon as he pleases." + +"'He's coming straight in, Sir. Stop a wee bit, Sir, my master is +engaged. He cannot see you at present, Sir." + +"Stand aside, thou Moabite! My mission admits of no delay. I +come to save him from the jaws of destruction!" + +"An that be the case, Sir, it maks a wide difference; an', as the +danger may threaten us a', I fancy I may as weel let ye gang by as +fight wi' ye, sin' ye seem sae intent on 't.--The man says he's +comin' to save ye, an' canna stop, Sir. Here he is." + +The laird was going to break out into a volley of wrath against +Waters, his servant; but, before he got a word pronounced, the +Rev. Mr. Wringhim had stepped inside the room, and Waters had +retired, shutting the door behind him. + +No introduction could be more mal-a-propos: it was impossible; +for at that very moment the laird and Arabella Logan were both +sitting on one seat, and both looking on one book, when the door +opened. "What is it, Sir?" said the laird fiercely. + +"A message of the greatest importance, Sir," said the divine, +striding unceremoniously up to the chimney, turning his back to +the fire, and his face to the culprits. "I think you should know me, +Sir?" continued he, looking displeasedly at the laird, with his face +half turned round. + +"I think I should," returned the laird. "You are a Mr. How's--tey-- +ca'--him, of Glasgow, who did me the worst turn ever I got done +to me in my life. You gentry are always ready to do a man such a +turn. Pray, Sir, did you ever do a good job for anyone to +counterbalance that? For, if you have not, you ought to be--" + +"Hold, Sir, I say! None of your profanity before me. If I do evil to +anyone on such occasions, it is because he will have it so; +therefore, the evil is not of my doing. I ask you, Sir, before God +and this witness, I ask you, have you kept solemnly and inviolate +the vows which I laid upon you that day? Answer me!" + +"Has the partner whom you bound me to kept hers inviolate? +Answer me that, Sir! None can better do so than you, Mr. How's-- +tey--ca'--you." + +"So, then, you confess your backslidings, and avow the +profligacy of your life. And this person here is, I suppose, the +partner of your iniquity--she whose beauty hath caused you to +err! Stand up, both of you, till I rebuke you, and show you what +you are in the eyes of God and man." + +"In the first place, stand you still there, till I tell you what you are +in the eyes of God and man. You are, Sir, a presumptuous, self- +conceited pedagogue, a stirrer up of strife and commotion in +church, in state, in families, and communities. You are one, Sir, +whose righteousness consists in splitting the doctrines of Calvin +into thousands of undistinguishable films, and in setting up a +system of justifying-grace against all breaches of all laws, moral +or divine. In short, Sir, you are a mildew--a canker-worm +in the bosom of the Reformed Church, generating a disease of +which she will never be purged, but by the shedding of blood. Go +thou in peace, and do these abominations no more; but humble +thyself, lest a worse reproof come upon thee." + +Wringhim heard all this without flinching. He now and then +twisted his mouth in disdain, treasuring up, meantime, his +vengeance against the two aggressors; for he felt that he had them +on the hip, and resolved to pour out his vengeance and +indignation upon them. Sorry am I that the shackles of modern +decorum restrain me from penning that famous rebuke; fragments +of which have been attributed to every divine of old notoriety +throughout Scotland. But 1 have it by heart; and a glorious morsel +it is to put into the hands of certain incendiaries. The metaphors +are so strong and so appalling that Miss Logan could only stand +them a very short time; she was obliged to withdraw in confusion. +The laird stood his ground with much ado, though his face was +often crimsoned over with the hues of shame and anger. Several +times he was on the point of turning the officious sycophant to +the door; but good manners, and an inherent respect that lie +entertained for the clergy, as the immediate servants of the +Supreme Being, restrained him. + +Wringhim, perceiving these symptoms of resentment, took them +for marks of shame and contrition, and pushed his reproaches +farther than ever divine ventured to do in a similar case. When he +had finished, to prevent further discussion, he walked slowly and +majestically out of the apartment, making his robes to swing +behind him in a most magisterial manner; he being, without +doubt, elated with his high conquest. He went to the upper story, +and related to his metaphysical associate his wonderful success; +how he had driven the dame from the house in tears and deep +confusion, and left the backsliding laird in such a quandary of +shame and repentance that he could neither articulate a word nor +lift up his countenance. The dame thanked him most cordially, +lauding his friendly zeal and powerful eloquence; and then the +two again set keenly to the splitting of hairs, and making +distinctions in religion where none existed. + +They being both children of adoption, and secured from falling +into snares, or anyway under the power of the wicked one, it was +their custom, on each visit, to sit up a night in the same +apartment, for the sake of sweet spiritual converse; but that time, +in the course of the night, they differed so materially on a small +point somewhere between justification and final election that the +minister, in the heat of his zeal, sprung from his seat, paced the +floor, and maintained his point with such ardour that Martha was +alarmed, and, thinking they were going to fight, and that the +minister would be a hard match for her mistress, she put on some +clothes, and twice left her bed and stood listening at the back of +the door, ready to burst in should need require it. Should anyone +think this picture over-strained, I can assure him that it is taken +from nature and from truth; but I will not likewise aver that the +theologist was neither crazed nor inebriated. If the listener's +words were to be relied on, there was no love, no accommodating +principle manifested between the two, but a fiery burning zeal, +relating to points of such minor importance that a true Christian +would blush to hear them mentioned, and the infidel and profane +make a handle of them to turn our religion to scorn. + +Great was the dame's exultation at the triumph of her beloved +pastor over her sinful neighbours in the lower parts of the house; +and she boasted of it to Martha in high-sounding terms. But it +was of short duration; for, in five weeks after that, Arabella +Logan came to reside with the laird as his housekeeper, sitting at +his table and carrying the keys as mistress-substitute of the +mansion. The lady's grief and indignation were now raised to a +higher pitch than ever; and she set every agent to work, with +whom she had any power, to effect a separation between these +two suspected ones. Remonstrance was of no avail: George +laughed at them who tried such a course, and retained his +housekeeper, while the lady gave herself up to utter despair; for, +though she would not consort with her husband herself, she could +not endure that any other should do so. + +But, to countervail this grievous offence, our saintly and afflicted +dame, in due time, was safely delivered of a fine boy whom the +laird acknowledged as his son and heir, and had him christened +by his own name, and nursed in his own premises. He gave the +nurse permission to take the boy to his mother's presence if ever +she should desire to see him; but, strange as it may appear, she +never once desired to see him from the day that he was born. The +boy grew up, and was a healthful and happy child; and, in the +course of another year, the lady presented him with a brother. A +brother he certainly was, in the eye of the law, and it is more than +probable that he was his brother in reality. But the laird thought +otherwise; and, though he knew and acknowledged that he was +obliged to support and provide for him, he refused to +acknowledge him in other respects. He neither would +countenance the banquet nor take the baptismal vows on him in +the child's name; of course, the poor boy had to live and remain +an alien from the visible church for a year and a day; at which +time, Mr. Wringhim out of pity and kindness, took the lady +herself as sponsor for the boy, and baptized him by the name of +Robert Wringhim--that being the noted divine's own name. + +George was brought up with his father, and educated partly at the +parish school, and partly at home, by a tutor hired for the +purpose. He was a generous and kind-hearted youth; always +ready to oblige, and hardly ever dissatisfied with anybody. Robert +was brought up with Mr. Wringhim, the laird paying a certain +allowance for him yearly; and there the boy was early inured to +all the sternness and severity of his pastor's arbitrary and +unyielding creed. He was taught to pray twice every day, and +seven times on Sabbath days; but he was only to pray for the +elect, and, like Devil of old, doom all that were aliens from God +to destruction. He had never, in that family into which he had +been as it were adopted, heard aught but evil spoken of his +reputed father and brother; consequently he held them in utter +abhorrence, and prayed against them every day, often "that the +old hoary sinner might be cut off in the full flush of his iniquity, +and be carried quick into hell; and that the young stem of the +corrupt trunk might also be taken from a world that he disgraced, +but that his sins might be pardoned, because he knew no better." + +Such were the tenets in which it would appear young Robert was +bred. He was an acute boy, an excellent learner, had ardent and +ungovernable passions, and, withal, a sternness of demeanour +from which other boys shrunk. He was the best grammarian, the +best reader, writer, and accountant in the various classes that he +attended, and was fond of writing essays on controverted points +of theology, for which he got prizes, and great praise from his +guardian and mother. George was much behind him in scholastic +acquirements, but greatly his superior in personal prowess, form, +feature, and all that constitutes gentility in the deportment and +appearance. The laird had often manifested to Miss Logan an +earnest wish that the two young men should never meet, or at all +events that they should be as little conversant as possible; and +Miss Logan, who was as much attached to George as if he had +been her own son, took every precaution, while he was a boy, that +he should never meet with his brother; but, as they advanced +towards manhood, this became impracticable. The lady was +removed from her apartments in her husband's house to Glasgow, +to her great content; and all to prevent the young laird being +tainted with the company of her and her second son; for the laird +had felt the effects of the principles they professed, and dreaded +them more than persecution, fire, and sword. During all the +dreadful times that had overpast, though the laird had been a +moderate man, he had still leaned to the side of kingly +prerogative, and had escaped confiscation and fines, without ever +taking any active hand in suppressing the Covenanters. But, after +experiencing a specimen of their tenets and manner in his wife, +from a secret favourer of them and their doctrines, he grew +alarmed at the prevalence of such stern and factious principles, +now that there was no check or restraint upon them; and from that +time he began to set himself against them, joining with the +Cavalier party of that day in all their proceedings. + +It so happened that, under the influence of the Earls of Seafield +and Tullibardine, he was returned for a Member of Parliament in +the famous session that sat at Edinburgh when the Duke of +Queensberry was commissioner, and in which party spirit ran to +such an extremity. The young laird went with his father to the +court, and remained in town all the time that the session lasted; +and, as all interested people of both factions flocked to the town +at that period, so the important Mr. Wringhim was there among +the rest, during the greater part of the time, blowing the coal of +revolutionary principles with all his might, in every society to +which he could obtain admission. He was a great favourite with +some of the west country gentlemen of that faction, by reason of +his unbending impudence. No opposition could for a moment +cause him either to blush, or retract one item that he had +advanced. Therefore the Duke of Argyle and his friends made +such use of him as sportsmen often do of terriers, to start the +game, and make a great yelping noise to let them know whither +the chase is proceeding. They often did this out of sport, in order +to tease their opponent; for of all pesterers that ever fastened on +man he was the most insufferable: knowing that his coat +protected him from manual chastisement, he spared no acrimony, +and delighted in the chagrin and anger of those with whom he +contended. But he was sometimes likewise of real use to the +heads of the Presbyterian faction, and therefore was admitted to +their tables, and of course conceived himself a very great man. + +His ward accompanied him; and, very shortly after their arrival in +Edinburgh, Robert, for the first time, met with the young laird his +brother, in a match at tennis. The prowess and agility of the +young squire drew forth the loudest plaudits of approval from his +associates, and his own exertion alone carried the game every +time on the one side, and that so far as all I along to count three +for their one. The hero's name soon ran round the circle, and +when his brother Robert, who was an onlooker, learned who it +was that was gaining so much applause, he came and stood close +beside him all the time that the game lasted, always now and then +putting in a cutting remark by way of mockery. + +George could not help perceiving him, not only on account of his +impertinent remarks, but he, moreover, stood so near him that he +several times impeded him in his rapid evolutions, and of course +got himself shoved aside in no very ceremonious way. Instead of +making him keep his distance, these rude shocks and pushes, +accompanied sometimes with hasty curses, only made him cling +the closer to this king of the game. He seemed determined to +maintain his right to his place as an onlooker, as well as any of +those engaged in the game, and, if they had tried him at an +argument, he would have carried his point; or perhaps he wished +to quarrel with this spark of his jealousy and aversion, and draw +the attention of the gay crowd to himself by these means; for, like +his guardian, he knew no other pleasure but what consisted in +opposition. George took him for some impertinent student of +divinity, rather set upon a joke than anything else. He perceived a +lad with black clothes, and a methodistical face, whose +countenance and eye he disliked exceedingly, several times in his +way, and that was all the notice he took of him the first time they +two met. But the next day, and every succeeding one, the same +devilish-looking youth attended him as constantly as his shadow; +was always in his way as with intention to impede him and ever +and anon his deep and malignant eye met those of his elder +brother with a glance so fierce that it sometimes startled him. + +The very next time that George was engaged at tennis, he had +not struck the ball above twice till the same intrusive being was +again in his way. The party played for considerable stakes that +day, namely, a dinner and wine at the Black Bull tavern; and +George, as the hero and head of his party, was much interested in +its honour; consequently the sight of this moody and +hellish-looking student affected him in no very pleasant manner. +"Pray Sir, be so good as keep without the range of the ball", said +he. + +"Is there any law or enactment that can compel me to do so?" said +the other, biting his lip with scorn. + +"If there is not, they are here that shall compel you," returned +George. "so, friend, I rede you to be on your guard." + +As he said this, a flush of anger glowed in his handsome face and +flashed from his sparkling blue eye; but it was a stranger to both, +and momently took its departure. The black-coated youth set up +his cap before, brought his heavy brows over his deep dark eyes, +put his hands in the pockets of his black plush breeches, and +stepped a little farther into the semicircle, immediately on his +brother's right hand, than he had ever ventured to do before. +There he set himself firm on his legs, and, with a face as demure +as death, seemed determined to keep his ground. He pretended to +he following the ball with his eyes; but every moment they were +glancing aside at George. One of the competitors chanced to say +rashly, in the moment of exultation, "That's a d--d fine blow, +George!" On which the intruder took up the word, as +characteristic of the competitors, and repeated it every stroke that +was given, making such a ludicrous use of it that several of the +onlookers were compelled to laugh immoderately; but the players +were terribly nettled at it, as he really contrived, by dint of sliding +in some canonical terms, to render the competitors and their game +ridiculous. + +But matters at length came to a crisis that put them beyond sport. +George, in flying backward to gain the point at which the ball +was going to light, came inadvertently so rudely in contact with +this obstreperous interloper that lie not only overthrew him, but +also got a grievous fall over his legs; and, as he arose, the other +made a spurn at him with his foot, which, if it had hit to its aim, +would undoubtedly have finished the course of the young laird of +Dalcastle and Balgrennan. George, being irritated beyond +measure, as may well be conceived, especially at the deadly +stroke aimed at him, struck the assailant with his racket, rather +slightly, but so that his mouth and nose gushed out blood; and, at +the same time, he said, turning to his cronies: "Does any of you +know who the infernal puppy is?" + +"Do you know, Sir?" said one of the onlookers, a stranger, "the +gentleman is your own brother, Sir--Mr. Robert Wringhim +Colwan!" + +"No, not Colwan, Sir," said Robert, putting his hands in his +pockets, and setting himself still farther forward than before, "not +a Colwan, Sir; henceforth I disclaim the name." + +"No, certainly not," repeated George. "My mother's son you may. +be--but not a Colwan! There you are right." Then, turning around +to his informer, he said: "Mercy be about us, Sir! Is this the crazy +minister's son from Glasgow?" + +This question was put in the irritation of the moment, but it was +too rude, and far too out of place, and no one deigned any answer +to it. He felt the reproof, and felt it deeply; seeming anxious for +some opportunity to make an acknowledgment, or some +reparation. + +In the meantime, young Wringhim was an object to all of the +uttermost disgust. The blood flowing from his mouth and nose +he took no pains to stem, neither did he so much as wipe it away; +so that it spread over all his cheeks, and breast, even off at his +toes. In that state did he take up his station in the middle of the +competitors; and he did not now keep his place, but ran about, +impeding everyone who attempted to make at the ball. They +loaded him with execrations, but it availed nothing; he seemed +courting persecution and buffetings, keeping steadfastly to his +old joke of damnation, and marring the game so completely +that, in spite of every effort on the part of the players, he forced +them to stop their game and give it up. He was such a +rueful-looking object, covered with blood, that none of them had +the heart to kick him, although it appeared the only thing he +wanted; and, as for George, he said not another word to him, +either in anger or reproof. + +When the game was fairly given up, and the party were washing +their hands in the stone fount, some of them besought Robert +Wringhim to wash himself; but he mocked at them, and said he +was much better as he was. George, at length, came forward +abashedly towards him, and said: "I have been greatly to blame, +Robert, and am very sorry for what I have done. But, in the first +instance, I erred through ignorance, not knowing you were my +brother, which you certainly are; and, in the second, through a +momentary irritation, for which I am ashamed. I pray you, +therefore, to pardon me, and give me your hand." + +As he said this, he held out his hand towards his polluted brother; +but the froward predestinarian took not his from his breeches +pocket, but lifting his foot, he gave his brother's hand a kick. 'I'll +give you what will suit such a hand better than mine" said he, +with a sneer. And then, turning lightly about, he added: Are there +to be no more of these d---d fine blows, gentlemen? For shame, to +give up such a profitable and edifying game!" + +"This is too bad," said George. "But, since it is thus, I have the +less to regret." And, having made this general remark, he took no +more note of the uncouth aggressor. But the persecution of the +latter terminated not on the play-ground: he ranked up among +them, bloody and disgusting as he was, and, keeping close by his +brother's side, he marched along with the party all the way to the +Black Bull. Before they got there, a great number of boys and idle +people had surrounded them, hooting and incommoding them +exceedingly, so that they were glad to get into the inn; and the +unaccountable monster actually tried to get in alongst with them, +to make one of the party at dinner. But the innkeeper and his +men, getting the hint, by force prevented him from entering, +although he attempted it again and again, both by telling lies and +offering a bribe. Finding he could not prevail, he set to exciting +the mob at the door to acts of violence; in which he had like to +have succeeded. The landlord had no other shift, at last, but to +send privately for two officers, and have him carried to the guard- +house; and the hilarity and joy of the party of young gentlemen, +for the evening, was quite spoiled by the inauspicious termination +of their game. + +The Rev. Robert Wringhim was now to send for, to release his +beloved ward. The messenger found him at table, with a number +of the leaders of the Whig faction, the Marquis of Annandale +being in the chair; and, the prisoner's note being produced, +Wringhim read it aloud, accompanying it with some explanatory +remarks. The circumstances of the case being thus magnified and +distorted, it excited the utmost abhorrence, both of the deed and +the perpetrators, among the assembled faction. They declaimed +against the act as an unnatural attempt on the character, and even +the life, of an unfortunate brother, who had been expelled from +his father's house. And, as party spirit was the order of the day, an +attempt was made to lay the burden of it to that account. In short, +the young culprit got some of the best blood of the land to enter +as his securities, and was set at liberty. But, when Wringhim +perceived the plight that he was in, he took him, as he was, and +presented him to his honourable patrons. This raised the +indignation against the young laird and his associates a thousand- +fold, which actually roused the party to temporary madness. They +were, perhaps, a little excited by the wine and spirits they had +swallowed; else a casual quarrel between two young men, at +tennis, could not have driven them to such extremes. But certain +it is that, from one at first arising to address the party on the +atrocity of the offence, both in a moral and political point of +view, on a sudden there were six on their feet, at the same time, +expatiating on it; and, in a very short time thereafter, everyone in +the room was up talking with the utmost vociferation, all on the +same subject, and all taking the same side in the debate. + +In the midst of this confusion, someone or other issued from the +house, which was at the back of the Canongate, calling out: "A +plot, a plot! Treason, treason! Down with the bloody incendiaries +at the Black Bull!" + +The concourse of people that were assembled in Edinburgh at that +time was prodigious; and, as they were all actuated by political +motives, they wanted only a ready-blown coal to set the mountain +on fire. The evening being fine, and the streets thronged, the cry +ran from mouth to mouth through the whole city. More than that, +the mob that had of late been gathered to the door of the Black +Bull had, by degrees, dispersed; but, they being young men, and +idle vagrants, they had only spread themselves over the rest of the +street to lounge in search of further amusement: consequently, a +word was sufficient to send them back to their late rendezvous, +where they had previously witnessed something they did not +much approve of. + +The master of the tavern was astonished at seeing the mob again +assembling; and that with such hurry and noise. But, his inmates +being all of the highest respectability, he judged himself sure of +protection, or at least of indemnity. He had two large parties in +his house at the time; the largest of which was of the +Revolutionist faction. The other consisted of our young +Tennis-players, and their associates, who were all of the Jacobite +order; or, at all events, leaned to the Episcopal side. The largest +party were in a front room; and the attack of the mob fell first on +their windows, though rather with fear and caution. Jingle went +one pane; then a loud hurrah; and that again was followed by a +number of voices, endeavouring to restrain the indignation from +venting itself in destroying the windows, and to turn it on the +inmates. The Whigs, calling the landlord, inquired what the +assault meant: he cunningly answered that he suspected it was +some of the youths of the Cavalier, or High-Church party, +exciting the mob against them. The party consisted mostly of +young gentlemen, by that time in a key to engage in any row; +and, at all events, to suffer nothing from the other party, against +whom their passions were mightily inflamed. + +The landlord, therefore, had no sooner given them the spirit- +rousing intelligence than everyone, as by instinct, swore his own +natural oath, and grasped his own natural weapon. A few of those +of the highest rank were armed with swords, which they boldly +drew; those of the subordinate orders immediately flew to such +weapons as the room, kitchen, and scullery afforded--such as +tongs, pokers, spits, racks, and shovels; and breathing vengeance +on the prelatic party, the children of Antichrist and the heirs of +d-n-t-n! the barterers of the liberties of their country, and +betrayers of the most sacred trust--thus elevated, and thus armed, +in the cause of right, justice, and liberty, our heroes rushed to the +street, and attacked the mob with such violence that they broke +the mass in a moment, and dispersed their thousands like chaff +before the wind. The other party of young Jacobites, who sat in +a room farther from the front, and were those against whom the +fury of the mob was meant to have been directed, knew nothing +of this second uproar, till the noise of the sally made by the +Whigs assailed their ears; being then informed that the mob had +attacked the house on account of the treatment they themselves +had given to a young gentleman of the adverse faction, and that +another jovial party had issued from the house in their defence, +and was now engaged in an unequal combat, the sparks likewise +flew, to the field to back their defenders with all their prowess, +without troubling their heads about who they were. + +A mob is like a spring tide in an eastern storm, that retires only to +return with more overwhelming fury. The crowd was taken by +surprise when such a strong and well-armed party issued from the +house with so great fury, laying all prostrate that came in their +way. Those who were next to the door, and were, of course, +the first whom the imminent danger assailed, rushed backwards +among the crowd with their whole force. The Black Bull standing +in a small square half-way between the High Street and the +Cowgate, and the entrance to it being by two closes, into these the +pressure outwards was simultaneous, and thousands were moved +to an involuntary flight, they knew not why. + +But the High Street of Edinburgh, which they soon reached, is a +dangerous place in which to make an open attack upon a mob. +And it appears that the entrances to the tavern had been +somewhere near to the Cross, on the south side of the street; for +the crowd fled with great expedition, both to the cast and west, +and the conquerors, separating themselves as chance directed, +pursued impetuously, wounding and maiming as they flew. But +it so chanced that, before either of the wings had followed the +flying squadrons of their enemies for the space of a hundred +yards each way, the devil an enemy they had to pursue! the +multitude had vanished like so many thousands of phantoms! +What could our heroes do? Why, they faced about to return +towards their citadel, the Black Bull. But that feat was not so +easily, nor so readily accomplished as they divined. The +unnumbered alleys on each side of the street had swallowed up +the multitude in a few seconds; but from these they were busy +reconnoitring; and perceiving the deficiency in the number of +their assailants, the rush from both sides of the street was as +rapid, and as wonderful, as the disappearance of the crowd had +been a few minutes before. Each close vomited out its levies, and +these better armed with missiles than when they sought it for a +temporary retreat. Woe then to our two columns of victorious +Whigs! The mob actually closed around them as they would have +swallowed them up; and, in the meanwhile, shower after shower +of the most abominable weapons of offence were rained in upon +them. If the gentlemen were irritated before, this inflamed them +still further; but their danger was now so apparent they could not +shut their eyes on it; therefore, both parties, as if actuated by the +same spirit, made a desperate effort to join, and the greater part +effected it; but some were knocked down, and others were +separated from their friends, and blithe to become silent members +of the mob. + +The battle now raged immediately in front of the closes leading to +the Black Bull; the small body of Whig gentlemen was hardly +bested, and it is likely would have been overcome and trampled +down every man, had they not been then and there joined by the +young Cavaliers; who, fresh to arms, broke from the wynd, +opened the head of the passage, laid about them manfully, and +thus kept up the spirits of the exasperated Whigs, who were the +men in fact that wrought the most deray among the populace. + +The town-guard was now on the alert; and two companies of the +Cameronian Regiment, with the Hon. Captain Douglas, rushed +down from the Castle to the scene of action; but, for all the noise +and hubbub that these caused in the street, the combat had +become so close and inveterate that numbers of both sides were +taken prisoners fighting hand to hand, and could scarcely be +separated when the guardsmen and soldiers had them by the +necks. + +Great was the alarm and confusion that night in Edinburgh; for +everyone concluded that it was a party scuffle, and, the two +parties being so equal in power, the most serious consequences +were anticipated. The agitation was so prevailing that every party +in town, great and small, was broken up; and the lord- +commissioner thought proper to go to the Council Chamber +himself, even at that late hour, accompanied by the sheriffs of +Edinburgh and Linlithgow, with sundry noblemen besides, in +order to learn something of the origin of the affray. + +For a long time the court was completely puzzled. Every +gentleman brought in exclaimed against the treatment he had +received, in most bitter terms, blaming a mob set on him and his +friends by the adverse party, and matters looked extremely ill +until at length they began to perceive that they were examining +gentlemen of both parties, and that they had been doing so from +the beginning, almost alternately, so equally had the prisoners +been taken from both parties. Finally, it turned out that a few +gentlemen, two-thirds of whom were strenuous Whigs +themselves, had joined in mauling the whole Whig population of +Edinburgh. The investigation disclosed nothing the effect of +which was not ludicrous; and the Duke of Queensberry, whose +aim was at that time to conciliate the two factions, tried all that he +could to turn the whole fracas into a joke--an unlucky frolic, +where no ill was meant on either side, and which yet had been +productive of a great deal. + +The greater part of the people went home satisfied; but not so +the Rev. Robert Wringhim. He did all that he could to inflame +both judges and populace against the young Cavaliers, especially +against the young Laird of Dalcastle, whom he represented as an +incendiary, set on by an unnatural parent to slander his mother, +and make away with a hapless and only brother; and, in truth, +that declaimer against all human merit had that sort of powerful, +homely, and bitter eloquence which seldom missed affecting his +hearers: the consequence at that time was that he made the +unfortunate affair between the two brothers appear in extremely +bad colours, and the populace retired to their homes impressed +with no very favourable opinion of either the Laird of Dalcastle +or his son George, neither of whom were there present to speak +for themselves. + +As for Wringhim himself, he went home to his lodgings, filled +with gall and with spite against the young laird, whom he was +made to believe the aggressor, and that intentionally. But most of +all he was filled with indignation against the father, whom he +held in abhorrence at all times, and blamed solely for this +unmannerly attack made on his favourite ward, namesake, and +adopted son; and for the public imputation of a crime to his own +reverence in calling the lad his son, and thus charging him with a +sin against which he was well known to have levelled all the +arrows of church censure with unsparing might. + +But, filled as his heart was with some portion of these bad +feelings, to which all flesh is subject, he kept, nevertheless, the +fear of the Lord always before his eyes so far as never to omit any +of the external duties of religion, and farther than that man hath +no power to pry. He lodged with the family of a Mr. Miller, +whose lady was originally from Glasgow, and had been a hearer +and, of course. a great admirer of Mr. Wringhim. In that family +he made public worship every evening; and that night, in his +petitions at a throne of grace, he prayed for so many vials of +wrath to be poured on the head of some particular sinner that the +hearers trembled, and stopped their ears. But that he might not +proceed with so violent a measure, amounting to +excommunication, without due scripture warrant, he began the +exercise of the evening by singing the following verses, which it +is a pity should ever have been admitted into a Christian +psalmody, being so adverse to all its mild and benevolent +principles: + + +Set thou the wicked over him, +And upon his right hand +Give thou his greatest enemy, +Even Satan, leave to stand. + +And, when by thee he shall be judged, +Let him remembered be; +And let his prayer be turned to sin +When he shall call on thee. + +Few be his days; and in his room +His charge another take; +His children let be fatherless; +His wife a widow make: + +Let God his father's wickedness +Still to remembrance call; +And never let his mother's sin +Be blotted out at all. + +As he in cursing pleasure took +So let it to him fall; +As he delighted not to bless, +So bless him not at all. + +As cursing he like clothes put on, +Into his bowels so, +Like water, and into his bones +Like oil, down let it go. + + +Young Wringhim only knew the full purport of this spiritual +song; and went to his bed better satisfied than ever that his father +and brother were castaways, reprobates, aliens from the Church +and the true faith, and cursed in time and eternity. + +The next day George and his companions met as usual--all who +were not seriously wounded of them. But, as they strolled about +the city, the rancorous eye and the finger of scorn was pointed +against them. None of them was at first aware of the reason; but it +threw a damp over their spirits and enjoyments, which they could +not master. They went to take a forenoon game at their old play +of tennis, not on a match, but by way of improving themselves; +but they had not well taken their places till young Wringhim +appeared in his old station, at his brother's right hand, with looks +more demure and determined than ever. His lips were primmed +so close that his mouth was hardly discernible, and his dark deep +eye flashed gleams of holy indignation on the godless set, but +particularly on his brother. His presence acted as a mildew on all +social intercourse or enjoyment; the game was marred, and ended +ere ever it was well begun. There were whisperings apart--the +party separated, and, in order to shake off the blighting influence +of this dogged persecutor, they entered sundry houses of their +acquaintances, with an understanding that they were to meet on +the Links for a game at cricket. + +They did so; and, stripping off part of their clothes, they began +that violent and spirited game. They had not played five minutes +till Wringhim was stalking in the midst of them, and totally +impeding the play. A cry arose from all corners of: "Oh, this will +never do. Kick him out of the play-ground! Knock down the +scoundrel; or bind him, and let him lie in peace." + +"By no means," cried George. "It is evident he wants nothing +else. Pray do not humour him so much as to touch him with either +foot or finger." Then, turning to a friend, he said in a whisper: +"Speak to him, Gordon; he surely will not refuse to let us have +the ground to ourselves, if you request it of him." + +Gordon went up to him, and requested of him, civilly, but +ardently, "to retire to a certain distance, else none of them could +or would be answerable, however sore he might be hurt." + +He turned disdainfully on his heel, uttered a kind of pulpit hem! +and then added, "I will take my chance of that; hurt me, any of +you, at your peril." + +The young gentlemen smiled, through spite and disdain of the +dogged animal. Gordon followed him up, and tried to remonstrate +with him; but he let him know that "it was his pleasure to be there +at that time; and, unless he could demonstrate to him what +superior right he and his party had to that ground, in preference to +him, and to the exclusion of all others, he was determined to +assert his right, and the rights of his fellow-citizens, by keeping +possession of whatsoever part of that common field he chose." + +"You are no gentleman, Sir," said Gordon. + +"Are you one, Sir?" said the other. + +"Yes, Sir. I will let you know that I am, by G--!" + +"Then, thanks be to Him whose name you have profaned, I am +none, If one of the party be a gentleman, I do hope in God am +not!" + +It was now apparent to them all that he was courting obloquy and +manual chastisement from their hands, if by any means he could +provoke them to the deed; and, apprehensive that he had some +sinister and deep-laid design in hunting after such a singular +favour, they wisely restrained one another from inflicting the +punishment that each of them yearned to bestow, personally, and +which he so well deserved. + +But the unpopularity of the younger George Colwan could no +longer be concealed from his associates. It was manifested +wherever the populace were assembled; and his young and +intimate friend, Adam Gordon, was obliged to warn him of the +circumstance that he might not be surprised at the gentlemen of +their acquaintance withdrawing themselves from his society, as +they could not be seen with him without being insulted. George +thanked him; and it was agreed between them that the former +should keep himself retired during the daytime while he remained +in Edinburgh, and that at night they should meet together, along +with such of their companions as were disengaged. + +George found it every day more and more necessary to adhere to +this system of seclusion; for it was not alone the hisses of the +boys and populace that pursued him--a fiend of more malignant +aspect was ever at his elbow, in the form of his brother. To +whatever place of amusement he betook himself, and however +well he concealed his intentions of going there from all flesh +living, there was his brother Wringhim also, and always within a +few yards of him, generally about the same distance, and ever and +anon darting looks at him that chilled his very soul. They were +looks that cannot be described; but they were felt piercing to the +bosom's deepest core. They affected even the onlookers in a very +particular manner, for all whose eyes caught a glimpse of these +hideous glances followed them to the object towards which they +were darted: the gentlemanly and mild demeanour of that object +generally calmed their startled apprehensions; for no one ever yet +noted the glances of the young man's eye, in the black coat, at the +face of his brother, who did not at first manifest strong symptoms +of alarm. + +George became utterly confounded; not only at the import of this +persecution, but how in the world it came to pass that this +unaccountable being knew all his motions, and every intention of +his heart, as it were intuitively. On consulting his own previous +feelings. and resolutions, he found that the circumstances of his +going to such and such a place were often the most casual +incidents in nature--the caprice of a moment had carried him there, +and yet he had never sat or stood many minutes till there was the +selfsame being, always in the same position with regard to +himself, as regularly as the shadow is cast from the substance, or +the ray of light from the opposing denser medium. + +For instance, he remembered one day of setting out with the +intention of going to attend divine worship in the High Church, +and when, within a short space of its door, he was overtaken by +young Kilpatrick of Closeburn, who was bound to the Grey-Friars +to see his sweetheart, as he said: "and if you will go with me, +Colwan," said he, "I will let you see her too, and then you will be +just as far forward as I am." + +George assented at once, and went; and, after taking his seat, he +leaned his head forwards on the pew to repeat over to himself a +short ejaculatory prayer, as had always been his custom on +entering the house of God. When he had done, he lifted his eye +naturally towards that point on his right hand where the fierce +apparition of his brother had been wont to meet his view: there he +was, in the same habit, form, demeanour, and precise point of +distance, as usual! George again laid down his head, and his mind +was so astounded that he had nearly fallen into a swoon. He tried +shortly after to muster up courage to look at the speaker, at the +congregation, and at Captain Kilpatrick's sweetheart in particular; +but the fiendish glances of the young man in the black clothes +were too appalling to be withstood--his eye caught them whether +he was looking that way or not: at length his courage was fairly +mastered, and he was obliged to look down during the remainder +of the service. + +By night or by day it was the same. In the gallery of the +Parliament House, in the boxes of the play-house, in the church, +in the assembly, in the streets, suburbs, and the fields; and every +day, and every hour, from the first rencounter of the two, the +attendance became more and more constant, more inexplicable, +and altogether more alarming and insufferable, until at last +George was fairly driven from society, and forced to spend his +days in his and his father's lodgings with closed doors. Even +there, he was constantly harassed with the idea that, the next time +he lifted his eyes, he would to a certainty see that face, the most +repulsive to all his feelings of aught the earth contained. The +attendance of that brother was now become like the attendance of +a demon on some devoted being that had sold himself to +destruction; his approaches as undiscerned, and his looks as +fraught with hideous malignity. It was seldom that he saw him +either following him in the streets, or entering any house or +church after him; he only appeared in his place, George wist not +how, or whence; and, having sped so ill in his first friendly +approaches, he had never spoken to his equivocal attendant a +second time. + +It came at length into George's head, as he was pondering, by +himself, on the circumstances of this extraordinary attendance, +that perhaps his brother had relented, and, though of so sullen and +unaccommodating a temper that he would not acknowledge it, or +beg a reconciliation, it might be for that very purpose that he +followed his steps night and day in that extraordinary manner. "I +cannot for my life see for what other purpose it can be," thought +he. "He never offers to attempt my life; nor dares he, if he had the +inclination; therefore, although his manner is peculiarly repulsive +to me, I shall not have my mind burdened with the reflection that +my own mother's son yearned for a reconciliation with me and +was repulsed by my haughty and insolent behaviour. The next +time he comes to my hand, I am resolved that I will accost him as +one brother ought to address another, whatever it may cost me; +and, if I am still flouted with disdain, then shall the blame rest +with him." + +After this generous resolution, it was a good while before his +gratuitous attendant appeared at his side again; and George began +to think that his visits were discontinued. The hope was a relief +that could not be calculated; but still George had a feeling that it +was too supreme to last. His enemy had been too pertinacious to +abandon his design, whatever it was. He, however, began to +indulge in a little more liberty, and for several days he enjoyed it +with impunity. + +George was, from infancy, of a stirring active disposition and +could not endure confinement; and, having been of late much +restrained in his youthful exercises by this singular persecutor, he +grew uneasy under such restraint, and, one morning, chancing to +awaken very early, he arose to make an excursion to the top of +Arthur's Seat, to breathe the breeze of the dawning, and see the +sun arise out of the eastern ocean. The morning was calm and +serene; and as he walked down the south back of the Canongate, +towards the Palace, the haze was so close around him that he +could not see the houses on the opposite side of the way. As he +passed the Lord-Commissioner's house, the guards were in +attendance, who cautioned him not to go by the Palace, as all the +gates would be shut and guarded for an hour to come, on which +he went by the back of St. Anthony's gardens, and found his way +into that little romantic glade adjoining to the saint's chapel and +well. He was still involved in a blue haze, like a dense smoke, +but yet in the midst of it the respiration was the most refreshing +and delicious. The grass and the flowers were loaden with dew; +and, on taking off his hat to wipe his forehead, he perceived that +the black glossy fur of which his chaperon was wrought was all +covered with a tissue of the most delicate silver--a fairy web, +composed of little spheres, so minute that no eye could discern +any of them; yet there they were shining in lovely millions. +Afraid of defacing so beautiful and so delicate a garnish, he +replaced his hat with the greatest caution, and went on his way +light of heart. + +As he approached the swire at the head of the dell--that little +delightful verge from which in one moment the eastern limits and +shores of Lothian arise on the view--as he approached it, I say, +and a little space from the height, he beheld, to his astonishment, +a bright halo in the cloud of haze, that rose in a semicircle over +his head like a pale rainbow. He was struck motionless at the +view of the lovely vision; for it so chanced that he had never seen +the same appearance before, though common at early morn. But +he soon perceived the cause of the phenomenon, and that it +proceeded from the rays of the sun from a pure unclouded +morning sky striking upon this dense vapour which refracted +them. But, the better all the works of nature are understood, the +more they will be ever admired. That was a scene that would +have entranced the man of science with delight, but which the +uninitiated and sordid man would have regarded less than the +mole rearing up his hill in silence and in darkness. + +George did admire this halo of glory, which still grew wider, and +less defined, as he approached the surface, of the cloud. But, to +his utter amazement and supreme delight, he found, on reaching +the top of Arthur's Seat, that this sublunary rainbow, this +terrestrial glory, was spread in its most vivid hues beneath his +feet. Still he could not perceive the body of the sun, although the +light behind him was dazzling; but the cloud of haze lying dense +in that deep dell that separates the hill from the rocks of +Salisbury, and the dull shadow of the hill mingling with that +cloud made the dell a pit of darkness. On that shadowy cloud was +the lovely rainbow formed, spreading itself on a horizontal plain, +and having a slight and brilliant shade of all the colours of the +heavenly bow, but all of them paler and less defined. But this +terrestrial phenomenon of the early morn cannot be better +delineated than by the name given of it by the shepherd boys, +"The little wee ghost of the rainbow." + +Such was the description of the morning, and the wild shades of +the hill, that George gave to his father and Mr. Adam Gordon that +same day on which he had witnessed them; and it is necessary +that the reader should comprehend something of their nature to +understand what follows. + +He seated himself on the pinnacle of the rocky precipice, a little +within the top of the hill to the westward, and, with a light and +buoyant heart, viewed the beauties of the morning, and inhaled its +salubrious breeze. "Here," thought he, "I can converse with nature +without disturbance, and without being intruded on by any +appalling or obnoxious visitor." The idea of his brother's dark and +malevolent looks coming at that moment across his mind, he +turned his eyes instinctively to the right, to the point where that +unwelcome guest was wont to make his appearance. Gracious +Heaven! What an apparition was there presented to his view! He +saw, delineated in the cloud, the shoulders, arms, and features of +a human being of the most dreadful aspect. The face was the face +of his brother, but dilated to twenty times the natural size. Its dark +eyes gleamed on him through the mist, while every furrow of its +hideous brow frowned deep as the ravines on the brow of the hill. +George started, and his hair stood up in bristles as he gazed on +this horrible monster. He saw every feature and every line of the +face distinctly as it gazed on him with an intensity that was hardly +brookable. Its eyes were fixed on him, in the same manner as +those of some carnivorous animal fixed on its prey; and yet there +was fear and trembling in these unearthly features, as plainly +depicted as murderous malice. The giant apparition seemed +sometimes to be cowering down as in terror, so that nothing but +his brow and eyes were seen; still these never turned one moment +from their object--again it rose imperceptively up, and began to +approach with great caution; and, as it neared, the dimensions of +its form lessened, still continuing, however, far above the natural +size. + +George conceived it to be a spirit. He could conceive it to be +nothing else; and he took it for some horrid demon by which he +was haunted, that had assumed the features of his brother in +every lineament, but, in taking on itself the human form, had +miscalculated dreadfully on the size, and presented itself thus to +him in a blown-up, dilated frame of embodied air, exhaled from +the caverns of death or the regions of devouring fire. He was +further confirmed in the belief that it was a malignant spirit on +perceiving that it approached him across the front of a precipice, +where there was not footing for thing of mortal frame. still, what +with terror and astonishment, he continued riveted to the spot, till +it approached, as he deemed, to within two yards of him; and +then, perceiving that it was setting itself to make a violent spring +on him, he started to his feet and fled distractedly in the opposite +direction, keeping his eye cast behind him lest he had been seized +in that dangerous place. But the very first bolt that he made in his +flight he came in contact with a real body of flesh and blood, and +that with such violence that both went down among some +scragged rocks, and George rolled over the other. The being +called out "Murder"; and, rising, fled precipitately. George then +perceived that it was his brother; and being confounded between +the shadow and the substance, he knew not what he was doing or +what he had done; and, there being only one natural way of +retreat from the brink of the rock, he likewise arose and pursued +the affrighted culprit with all his speed towards the top of the hill. +Wringhim was braying out, "Murder! murder!" at which George, +being disgusted, and his spirits all in a ferment from some hurried +idea of intended harm, the moment he came up with the craven he +seized him rudely by the shoulder, and clapped his hand on his +mouth. "Murder, you beast!" said he; "what do you mean by +roaring out murder in that way? Who the devil is murdering you, +or offering to murder you?" + +Wringhim forced his mouth from under his brother's hand, and +roared with redoubled energy: "Eh! Egh! Murder! murder!" etc. +George had felt resolute to put down this shocking alarm, lest +someone might hear it and fly to the spot, or draw inferences +widely different from the truth; and, perceiving the terror of this +elect youth to be so great that expostulation was vain, he seized +him by the mouth and nose with his left hand so strenuously that +he sank his fingers into his cheeks. But, the poltroon still +attempting to bray out, George gave him such a stunning blow +with his fist on the left temple that he crumbled, as it were, to the +ground, but more from the effects of terror than those of the blow. +His nose, however, again gushed out blood, a system of defence +which seemed as natural to him as that resorted to by the race of +stinkards. He then raised himself on his knees and hams, and +raising up his ghastly face, while the blood streamed over both +ears, he besought his life of his brother, in the most abject +whining manner, gaping and blubbering most piteously. + +"Tell me then, Sir," said George, resolved to make the most of the +wretch's terror--"tell me for what purpose it is that you +haunt my steps? Tell me plainly, and instantly, else I will throw +you from the verge of that precipice." + +"Oh, I will never do it again! I will never do it again! Spare my +life, dear, good brother! Spare my life! Sure I never did you any +hurt." + +"Swear to me, then, by the God that made you, that you will +never henceforth follow after me to torment me with your hellish +threatening looks; swear that you will never again come into my +presence without being invited. Will you take an oath to this +effect?" + +"Oh yes! I will, I will!" + +"But this is not all: you must tell me for what purpose you sought +me out here this morning?" + +"Oh, brother! For nothing but your good. I had nothing at heart +but your unspeakable profit, and great and endless good." + +"So, then, you indeed knew that I was here?" + +"I was told so by a friend, but I did not believe him; a--a--at least +I did not know that it was true till I saw you." + +"Tell me this one thing, then, Robert, and all shall he forgotten +and forgiven. Who was that friend?" + +"You do not know him." + +"How then does he know me?" + +"I cannot tell." + +"Was he here present with you to-day?" + +"Yes; he was not far distant. He came to this hill with me." + +"Where then is he now?" + +"I cannot tell." + +"Then, wretch, confess that the devil was that friend who told you +I was here, and who came here with you. None else could +possibly know of my being here." + +"Ah! how little you know of him! Would you argue that there is +neither man nor spirit endowed with so much foresight as to +deduce natural conclusions from previous actions and incidents +but the devil? Alas, brother! But why should I wonder at such +abandoned notions and principles? It was fore-ordained that you +should cherish them, and that they should be the ruin of your soul +and body, before the world was framed. Be assured of this, +however, that I had no aim of seeking you but your good!" + +"Well, Robert, I will believe it. I am disposed to be hasty and +passionate: it is a fault in my nature; but I never meant, or wished +you evil; and God is my witness that I would as soon stretch out +my hand to my own life, or my father's, as to yours." At these +words, Wringhim uttered a hollow exulting laugh, put his hands +in his pockets, and withdrew a space to his accustomed distance. +George continued: "And now, once for all, I request that we may +exchange forgiveness, and that we may part and remain friends." + +"Would such a thing be expedient, think you? Or consistent with +the glory of God? I doubt it." + +"I can think of nothing that would be more so. Is it not consistent +with every precept of the Gospel? Come, brother, say that our +reconciliation is complete." + +"Oh yes, certainly!. I tell you, brother, according to the flesh: it is +just as complete as the lark's is with the adder, no more so, nor +ever can. Reconciled, forsooth! To what would I be reconciled?" + +As he said this, he strode indignantly away. From the moment +that he heard his life was safe, he assumed his former insolence +and revengeful looks--and never were they more dreadful than on +parting with his brother that morning on the top of the hill. "Well, +go thy way," said George; "some would despise, but I pity thee. If +thou art not a limb of Satan, I never saw one." + +The sun had now dispelled the vapours; and, the morning being +lovely beyond description, George sat himself down on the top of +the hill, and pondered deeply on the unaccountable incident that +had befallen to him that morning. He could in no-wise +comprehend it; but, taking it with other previous circumstances, +he could not get quit of a conviction that he was haunted by some +evil genius in the shape of his brother, as well as by that dark and +mysterious wretch himself. In no other way could he account for +the apparition he saw that morning on the face of the rock, nor for +several sudden appearances of the same being, in places where +there was no possibility of any foreknowledge that he himself +was to be there, and as little that the same being, if he were flesh +and blood like other men, could always start up in the same +position with regard to him. He determined, therefore, on +reaching home, to relate all that had happened, from beginning to +end, to his father, asking his counsel and his assistance, although +he knew full well that his father was not the fittest man in the +world to solve such a problem. He was now involved in party +politics, over head and ears; and, moreover, he could never hear +the names of either of the Wringhims mentioned without getting +into a quandary of disgust and anger; and all that he would deign +to say of them was, to call them by all the opprobrious names he +could invent. + +It turned out as the young man from the first suggested: old +Dalcastle would listen to nothing concerning them with any +patience. George complained that his brother harassed him with +his presence at all times, and in all places. Old Dal asked why he +did not kick the dog out of his presence whenever he felt him +disagreeable? George said he seemed to have some demon for a +familiar. Dal answered that he did not wonder a bit at that, for the +young spark was the third in a direct line who had all been +children of adultery; and it was well known that all such were +born half-deils themselves, and nothing was more likely than that +they should hold intercourse with their fellows. In the same style +did he sympathize with all his son's late sufferings and +perplexities. + +In Mr. Adam Gordon, however, George found a friend who +entered into all his feelings, and had seen and known everything +about the matter. He tried to convince him that at all events there +could be nothing supernatural in the circumstances; and that the +vision he had seen on the rock, among the thick mist, was the +shadow of his brother approaching behind him. George could not +swallow this, for he had seen his own shadow on the cloud, and, +instead of approaching to aught like his own figure, he perceived +nothing but a halo of glory round a point of the cloud that was +whither and purer than the rest. Gordon said, if he would go with +him to a mountain of his father's, which he named, in +Aberdeenshire, he would show him a giant spirit of the same +dimensions, any morning at the rising of the sun, provided he +shone on that spot. This statement excited George's curiosity +exceedingly; and, being disgusted with some things about +Edinburgh, and glad to get out of the way, he consented to go +with Gordon to the Highlands for a space. The day was +accordingly set for their departure, the old laird's assent obtained, +and the two young sparks parted in a state of great impatience for +their excursion. + +One of them found out another engagement, however, the instant +after this last was determined on. Young Wringhim went off the +hill that morning, and home to his upright guardian again without +washing the blood from his face and neck; and there he told a +most woeful story indeed: how he had gone out to take a +morning's walk on the hill, where he had encountered with his +reprobate brother among the mist, who had knocked him down +and very near murdered him; threatening dreadfully, and with +horrid oaths, to throw him from the top of the cliff. + +The wrath of the great divine was kindled beyond measure. He +cursed the aggressor in the name of the Most High; and bound +himself, by an oath, to cause that wicked one's transgressions +return upon his own head sevenfold. But, before he engaged +further in the business of vengeance, he kneeled with his adopted +son, and committed the whole cause unto the Lord, whom he +addressed as one coming breathing burning coals of juniper, and +casting his lightnings before him, to destroy and root out all who +had moved hand or tongue against the children of the promise. +Thus did he arise confirmed, and go forth to certain conquest. + +We cannot enter into the detail of the events that now occurred +without forestalling a part of the narrative of one who knew all +the circumstances--was deeply interested in them, and whose +relation is of higher value than anything that can be retailed out of +the stores of tradition and old registers; but, his narrative being +different from these, it was judged expedient to give the account +as thus publicly handed down to us. Suffice it that, before +evening, George was apprehended, and lodged in jail, on a +criminal charge of an assault and battery, to the shedding of +blood, with the intent of committing fratricide. Then was the old +laird in great consternation, and blamed himself for treating the +thing so lightly, which seemed to have been gone about, from the +beginning, so systematically, and with an intent which the villains +were now going to realize, namely, to get the young laird +disposed of; and then his brother, in spite of the old gentleman's +teeth, would be laird himself. + +Old Dal now set his whole interest to work among the noblemen +and lawyers of his party. His son's case looked exceedingly ill, +owing to the former assault before witnesses. and the unbecoming +expressions made use of by him on that occasion, as well as from +the present assault, which George did not deny, and for which no +moving cause or motive could be made to appear. + +On his first declaration before the sheriff, matters looked no +better: but then the sheriff was a Whig. It is well known how +differently the people of the present day, in Scotland, view the +cases of their own party-men and those of opposite political +principles. But this day is nothing to that in such matters, +although, God knows, they are still sometimes barefaced enough. +It appeared, from all the witnesses in the first case, that the +complainant was the first aggressor--that he refused to stand out +of the way, though apprised of his danger; and, when his brother +came against him inadvertently, he had aimed a blow at him with +his foot, which, if it had taken effect, would have killed him. But +as to the story of the apparition in fair day-light--the flying from +the face of it--the running foul of his brother pursuing him, and +knocking him down, why the judge smiled at the relation, and +saying: "It was a very extraordinary story," he remanded George +to prison, leaving the matter to the High Court of Justiciary. + +When the case came before that court, matters took a different +turn. The constant and sullen attendance of the one brother upon +the other excited suspicions; and these were in some manner +confirmed when the guards at Queensberry House deported that +the prisoner went by them on his way to the hill that morning, +about twenty minutes before the complainant, and, when the +latter passed, he asked if such a young man had passed before +him, describing the prisoner's appearance to them; and that, on +being answered in the affirmative, he mended his pace and fell a- +running. + +The Lord Justice, on hearing this, asked the prisoner if he had any +suspicions that his brother had a design on his life. + +He answered that all along, from the time of their first +unfortunate meeting, his brother had dogged his steps so +constantly, and so unaccountably, that he was convinced it was +with some intent out of the ordinary course of events; and that if, +as his lordship supposed, it was indeed his shadow that he had +seen approaching him through the mist, then, from the cowering +and cautious manner that it advanced, there was no little doubt +that his brother's design had been to push him headlong from the +cliff that morning. + +A conversation then took place between the judge and the Lord +Advocate; and, in the meantime, a bustle was seen in the hall; on +which the doors were ordered to be guarded, and, behold, the +precious Mr. R. Wringhim was taken into custody, trying to make +his escape out of court. Finally it turned out that George was +honourably acquitted, and young Wringhim bound over to keep +the peace, with heavy penalties and securities. + +That was a day of high exultation to George and his youthful +associates, all of whom abhorred Wringhim; and, the evening +being spent in great glee, it was agreed between Mr. Adam +Gordon and George that their visit to the Highlands, though thus +long delayed, was not to be abandoned; and though they had, +through the machinations of an incendiary, lost the season of +delight, they would still find plenty of sport in deer-shooting. +Accordingly, the day was set a second time for their departure; +and, on the day preceding that, all the party were invited by +George to dine with him once more at the sign of the Black Bull +of Norway. Everyone promised to attend, anticipating nothing but +festivity and joy. Alas, what short-sighted improvident creatures +we are, all of us; and how often does the evening cup of joy lead +to sorrow in the morning! + +The day arrived--the party of young noblemen and gentlemen +met, and were as happy and jovial as men could be. George was +never seen so brilliant, or so full of spirits; and exulting to see so +many gallant young chiefs and gentlemen about him, who all +gloried in the same principles of loyalty (perhaps this word +should have been written disloyalty), he made speeches, gave +toasts, and sung songs, all leaning slyly to the same side, until a +very late hour. By that time he had pushed the bottle so long and +so freely that its fumes had taken possession of every brain to +such a degree that they held Dame Reason rather at the staff's +end, overbearing all her counsels and expostulations; and it was +imprudently proposed by a wild inebriated spark, and carried by a +majority of voices, that the whole party should adjourn to a +bagnio for the remainder of the night. + +They did so; and it appears from what follows that the house, +to which they retired must have been somewhere on the opposite +side of the street to the Black Bull Inn, a little farther to the +eastward. They had not been an hour in that house till some +altercation chanced to arise between George Colwan and a Mr. +Drummond, the younger son of a nobleman of distinction. It +was perfectly casual, and no one thenceforward, to this day, +could ever tell what it was about, if it was not about the +misunderstanding of some word or term that the one had uttered. +However it was, some high words passed between them; these +were followed by threats, and, in less than two minutes from the +commencement of the quarrel, Drummond left the house in +apparent displeasure, hinting to the other that they two should +settle that in a more convenient place. + +The company looked at one another, for all was over before any +of them knew such a thing was begun. "What the devil is the +matter?" cried one. "What ails Drummond?" cried another. "Who +has he quarrelled with?" asked a third. + +"Don't know."--"Can't tell, on my life."--"He has quarrelled with +his wine, I suppose, and is going to send it a challenge." + +Such were the questions, and such the answers that passed in the +jovial party, and the matter was no more thought of. + +But in the course of a very short space, about the length which the +ideas of the company were the next day at great variance, a sharp +rap came to the door. it was opened by a female; but, there being +a chain inside, she only saw one side of the person at the door. He +appeared to be a young gentleman, in appearance like him who +had lately left the house, and asked, in a low whispering voice, "if +young Dalcastle was still in the house?" The woman did not +know. "If he is," added he, "pray tell him to speak with me for a +few minutes." The woman delivered the message before all the +party, among whom there were then sundry courteous ladies of +notable distinction, and George, on receiving it, instantly rose +from the side of one of them, and said, in the hearing of them all, +'I will bet a hundred merks that is Drummond."--"Don't go to +quarrel with him, George," said one.--"Bring him in with you," +said another. George stepped out; the door was again bolted, the +chain drawn across, and the inadvertent party, left within, thought +no more of the circumstance till the morning, that the report had +spread over the city that a young gentleman had been slain, on a +little washing-green at the side of the North Loch, and at the very +bottom of the close where this thoughtless party had been +assembled. + +Several of them, on first hearing the report, basted to the dead- +room in the Guard-house, where the corpse had been deposited, +and soon discovered the body to be that of their friend and late +entertainer, George Colwan. Great were the consternation and +grief of all concerned, and, in particular, of his old father and +Miss Logan; for George had always been the sole hope and +darling of both, and the news of the event paralysed them so as +to render them incapable of all thought or exertion. The spirit +of the old laird was broken by the blow, and he descended at +once from a jolly, good-natured and active man to a mere +driveller, weeping over the body of his son, kissing his wound, +his lips, and his cold brow alternately; denouncing vengeance on +his murderers, and lamenting that he himself had not met the +cruel doom, so that the hope of his race might have been +preserved. In short, finding that all further motive of action and +object of concern or of love, here below, were for ever removed +from him, he abandoned himself to despair, and threatened to go +down to the grave with his son. + +But, although he made no attempt to discover the murderers, the +arm of justice was not idle; and, it being evident to all that the +crime must infallibly be brought home to young Drummond, +some of his friends sought him out, and compelled him, sorely +against his will, to retire into concealment till the issue of the +proof that should be led was made known. At the same time, he +denied all knowledge of the incident with a resolution that +astonished his intimate friends and relations, who to a man +suspected him guilty. His father was not in Scotland, for I think it +was said to me that this young man was second son to a John, +Duke of Melfort, who lived abroad with the royal family of the +Stuarts; but this young gentleman lived with the relations of his +mother, one of whom, an uncle, was a Lord of Session: these, +having thoroughly effected his concealment, went away, and +listened to the evidence; and the examination of every new +witness convinced them that their noble young relative was the +slayer of his friend. + +All the young gentlemen of the party were examined, save +Drummond, who, when sent for, could not be found, which +circumstance sorely confirmed the suspicions against him in the +minds of judges and jurors, friends and enemies; and there is little +doubt that the care of his relations in concealing him injured his +character and his cause. The young gentlemen of whom the party +was composed varied considerably with respect to the quarrel +between him and the deceased. Some of them had neither heard +nor noted it; others had, but not one of them could tell how it +began. Some of them had heard the threat uttered by Drummond +on leaving the house, and one only had noted him lay his hand on +his sword. Not one of them could swear that it was Drummond +who came to the door and desired to speak with the deceased, but +the general impression on the minds of them all was to that effect; +and one of the women swore that she heard the voice distinctly at +the door, and every word that voice pronounced, and at the same +time heard the deceased say that it was Drummond's. + +On the other hand, there were some evidences on Drummond's +part, which Lord Craigie, his uncle, had taken care to collect. He +produced the sword which his nephew had worn that night, on +which there was neither blood nor blemish; and, above all, he +insisted on the evidence of a number of surgeons, who declared +that both the wounds which the deceased had received had been +given behind. One of these was below the left arm, and a slight +one; the other was quite through the body, and both evidently +inflicted with the same weapon, a two-edged sword, of the same +dimensions as that worn by Drummond. + +Upon the whole, there was a division in the court, but a +majority decided it. Drummond was pronounced guilty of the +murder; outlawed for not appearing, and a high reward offered +for his apprehension. It was with the greatest difficulty that he +escaped on board of a small trading vessel, which landed him in +Holland, and from thence, flying into Germany, he entered into +the service of the Emperor Charles VI. Many regretted that he +was not taken, and made to suffer the penalty due for such a +crime, and the melancholy incident became a pulpit theme over +a great part of Scotland, being held up as a proper warning to +youth to beware of such haunts of vice and depravity, the nurses +of all that is precipitate, immoral, and base, among mankind. + +After the funeral of this promising and excellent young man, his +father never more held up his head. Miss Logan, with all her art, +could not get him to attend to any worldly thing, or to make any +settlement whatsoever of his affairs, save making her over a +present of what disposable funds he had about him. As to his +estates, when they were mentioned to him, he wished them all in +the bottom of the sea, and himself along with them. But, +whenever she mentioned the circumstance of Thomas Drummond +having been the murderer of his son, he shook his head, and once +made the remark that "It was all a mistake, a gross and fatal error; +but that God, who had permitted such a flagrant deed, would +bring it to light in his own time and way." In a few weeks he +followed his son to the grave, and the notorious Robert Wringhim +took possession of his estates as the lawful son of the late laird, +born in wedlock, and under his father's roof. The investiture was +celebrated by prayer, singing of psalms, and religious disputation. +The late guardian and adopted father, and the mother of the new +laird, presided on the grand occasion, making a conspicuous +figure in all the work of the day; and, though the youth himself +indulged rather more freely in the bottle than he had ever been +seen to do before, it was agreed by all present that there had never +been a festivity so sanctified within the great hall of Dalcastle. +Then, after due thanks returned, they parted rejoicing in spirit; +which thanks, by the by, consisted wholly in telling the Almighty +what he was; and informing, with very particular precision, what +they were who addressed him; for Wringhim's whole system of +popular declamation consisted, it seems, in this--to denounce all +men and women to destruction, and then hold out hopes to his +adherents that they were the chosen few, included in the +promises, and who could never fall away. It would appear that +this pharisaical doctrine is a very delicious one, and the most +grateful of all others to the worst characters. + +But the ways of heaven are altogether inscrutable, and soar as far +above and beyond the works and the comprehensions of man as +the sun, flaming in majesty, is above the tiny boy's evening +rocket. It is the controller of Nature alone that can bring light out +of darkness, and order out of confusion. Who is he that causeth +the mole, from his secret path of darkness, to throw up the gem, +the gold, and the precious ore? The same that from the mouths of +babes and sucklings can extract the perfection of praise, and who +can make the most abject of his creatures instrumental in bringing +the most hidden truths to light. + +Miss Logan had never lost the thought of her late master's +prediction that Heaven would bring to light the truth concerning +the untimely death of his son. She perceived that some strange +conviction, too horrible for expression, preyed on his mind from +the moment that the fatal news reached him to the last of his +existence; and, in his last ravings, he uttered some incoherent +words about justification by faith alone and absolute and eternal +predestination having been the ruin of his house. These, to be +sure, were the words of superannuation, and of the last and +severest kind of it; but, for all that, they sunk deep into Miss +Logan's soul, and at last she began to think with herself: "Is it +possible the Wringhims, and the sophisticating wretch who is in +conjunction with them, the mother of my late beautiful and +amiable young master, can have effected his destruction? If so, I +will spend my days, and my little patrimony, in endeavours to +rake up and expose the unnatural deed." + +In all her outgoings and incomings Mrs. Logan (as she was now +styled) never lost sight of this one object. Every new +disappointment only whetted her desire to fish up some +particulars, concerning it; for she thought so long and so ardently +upon it that by degrees it became settled in her mind as a sealed +truth. And, as woman is always most jealous of her own sex in +such matters, her suspicions were fixed on her greatest enemy, +Mrs. Colwan, now the Lady Dowager of Dalcastle. All was wrapt +in a chaos of confusion and darkness; but at last, by dint of a +thousand sly and secret inquiries, Mrs. Logan found out where +Lady Dalcastle had been on the night that the murder happened, +and likewise what company she had kept, as well as some of the +comers and goers; and she had hopes of having discovered a clue, +which, if she could keep hold of the thread, would lead her +through darkness to the light of truth. + +Returning very late one evening from a convocation of family +servants, which she had drawn together in order to fish something +out of them, her maid having been in attendance on her all the +evening, they found, on going home, that the house had been +broken and a number of valuable articles stolen therefrom. Mrs. +Logan had grown quite heartless before this stroke, having been +altogether unsuccessful in her inquiries, and now she began to +entertain some resolutions of giving up the fruitless search. + +In a few days thereafter, she received intelligence that her clothes +and plate were mostly recovered, and that she for one was bound +over to prosecute the depredator, provided the articles turned out +to be hers, as libelled in the indictment, and as a king's evidence +had given out. She was likewise summoned, or requested, I know +not which, being ignorant of these matters, to go as far as the +town of Peebles in Tweedside, in order to survey these articles on +such a day, and make affidavit to their identity before the Sheriff +She went accordingly; but, on entering the town by the North +Gate, she was accosted by a poor girl in tattered apparel, who +with great earnestness inquired if her name was not Mrs. Logan? +On being answered in the affirmative, she said that the +unfortunate prisoner in the Tolbooth requested her, as she valued +all that was dear to her in life, to go and see her before she +appeared in court at the hour of cause, as she (the prisoner) had +something of the greatest moment to impart to her. Mrs. Logan's +curiosity was excited, and she followed the girl straight to the +Tolbooth, who by the way said to her that she would find in the +prisoner a woman of superior mind, who had gone through all the +vicissitudes of life. "She has been very unfortunate, and I fear +very wicked," added the poor thing, "but she is my mother, and +God knows, with all her faults and failings, she has never been +unkind to me. You, madam, have it in your power to save her; but +she has wronged you, and therefore, if you will not do it for her +sake, do it for mine, and the God of the fatherless will reward +you." + +Mrs. Logan answered her with a cast of the head, and a hem! and +only remarked, that "the guilty must not always be suffered to +escape, or what a world must we be doomed to live in!" + +She was admitted to the prison, and found a tall emaciated figure, +who appeared to have once possessed a sort of masculine beauty +in no ordinary degree, but was now considerably advanced in +years. She viewed Mrs. Logan with a stem, steady gaze, as if +reading her features as a margin to her intellect; and when she +addressed her it was not with that humility, and agonized fervour, +which are natural for one in such circumstances to address to +another who has the power of her life and death in her hands. + +"I am deeply indebted to you for this timely visit, Mrs. Logan," +said she. "It is not that I value life, or because I fear death, that I +have sent for you so expressly. But the manner of the death that +awaits me has something peculiarly revolting in it to a female +mind. Good God! when I think of being hung up, a spectacle to a +gazing, gaping multitude, with numbers of which I have had +intimacies and connections, that would render the moment of +parting so hideous, that, believe me, it rends to flinders a soul +born for another sphere than that in which it has moved, had not +the vile selfishness of a lordly fiend ruined all my prospects and +all my hopes. Hear me then; for I do not ask your pity: I only ask +of you to look to yourself, and behave with womanly prudence, if +you deny this day that these goods are yours, there is no other +evidence whatever against my life, and it is safe for the present. +For, as for the word of the wretch who has betrayed me, it is of +no avail; he has prevaricated so notoriously to save himself. If +you deny them, you shall have them all again to the value of a +mite, and more to the bargain. If you swear to the identity of +them, the process will, one way and another, cost you the half of +what they are worth." + +"And what security have I for that?" said Mrs. Logan. + +"You have none but my word," said the other proudly, "and that +never yet was violated. If you cannot take that, 1 know the worst +you can do. But I had forgot--I have a poor helpless child +without, waiting and starving about the prison door. Surely it was +of her that I wished to speak. This shameful death of mine will +leave her in a deplorable state." + +"The girl seems to have candour and strong affections," said Mrs. +Logan. "I grievously mistake if such a child would not be a +thousand times better without such a guardian and director." + +"Then will you be so kind as to come to the Grass Market and see +me put down?" said the prisoner. "I thought a woman would +estimate a woman's and a mother's feelings, when such a dreadful +throw was at stake, at least in part. But you are callous, and have +never known any feelings but those of subordination to your old +unnatural master. Alas, I have no cause of offence! I have +wronged you; and justice must take its course. Will you forgive +me before we part?" + +Mrs. Logan hesitated, for her mind ran on something else. On +which the other subjoined: "No, you will not forgive me, I see. +But you will pray to God to forgive me? I know you will do that." + +Mrs. Logan heard not this jeer, but, looking at the prisoner with +an absent and stupid stare, she said: "Did you know my late +master?" + +"Ay, that I did, and never for any good," said she. "I knew the +old and the young spark both, and was by when the latter was +slain." + +This careless sentence affected Mrs. Logan in a most peculiar +manner. A shower of tears burst from her eyes ere it was done, +and, when it was, she appeared like one bereaved of her mind. +She first turned one way and then another, as if looking for +something she had dropped. She seemed to think she had lost her +eyes, instead of her tears, and at length, as by instinct, she tottered +close up to the prisoner's face, and, looking wistfully and joyfully +in it, said, with breathless earnestness: "Pray, mistress, what is +your name?" + + "My name is Arabella Calvert," said the other. "Miss, mistress, +or widow, as you choose, for I have been all the three, and that +not once nor twice only. Ay, and something beyond all these. +But, as for you, you have never been anything!" + +"Ay, ay! and so you are Bell Calvert? Well, I thought so--I +thought so," said Mrs. Logan; and, helping herself to a seat, she +came and sat down dose by the prisoner's knee. "So you are +indeed Bell Calvert, so called once. Well, of all the world you are +the woman whom I have longed and travailed the most to see. +But you were invisible; a being to be heard of, not seen." + +"There have been days, madam," returned she, "when I was to be +seen, and when there were few to be seen like me. But since that +time there have indeed been days on which I was not to be seen. +My crimes have been great, but my sufferings have been greater. +So great that neither you nor the world can ever either know or +conceive them. I hope they will be taken into account by the Most +High. Mine have been crimes of utter desperation. But whom am +I speaking to? You had better leave me to myself, mistress." + +"Leave you to yourself? That I will be loth to do till you tell me +where you were that night my young master was murdered." + +"Where the devil would, I was! Will that suffice you? Ah, it was +a vile action! A night to be remembered that was! Won't you be +going? I want to trust my daughter with a commission." + +"No, Mrs. Calvert, you and I part not till you have divulged that +mystery to me." + +"You must accompany me to the other world, then, for you shall +not have it in this." + +"If you refuse to answer me, I can have you before a tribunal, +where you shall be sifted to the soul." + +"Such miserable inanity! What care I for your threatenings of a +tribunal? I who must soon stand before my last earthly one? What +could the word of such a culprit avail? Or, if it could, where is the +judge that could enforce it?" + +"Did you not say that there was some mode of accommodating +matters on that score?" + +"Yes, I prayed you to grant me my life, which is in your power. +The saving of it would not have cost you a plack, yet you refused +to do it. The taking of it will cost you a great deal, and yet to that +purpose you adhere. I can have no parley with such a spirit. I +would not have my life in a present from its motions, nor would I +exchange courtesies with its possessor." + +"Indeed, Mrs. Calvert, since ever we met, I have been so busy +thinking about who you might be that I know not what you have +been proposing. I believe I meant to do what I could to save you +But, once for all, tell me everything that you know concerning +that amiable young gentleman's death, and here is my band there +shall be nothing wanting that I can effect for you." + +"No I despise all barter with such mean and selfish curiosity; and, +as I believe that passion is stronger with you, than fear with me, +we part on equal terms. Do your worst; and my secret shall go to +the gallows and the grave with me." + +Mrs. Logan was now greatly confounded, and after proffering in +vain to concede everything she could ask in exchange, for the +particulars relating to the murder, she became the suppliant in her +turn. But the unaccountable culprit, exulting in her advantage. +laughed her to scorn; and finally, in a paroxysm of pride and +impatience, called in the jailor and had her expelled, ordering him +in her hearing not to grant her admittance a second time, on any +pretence. + +Mrs. Logan was now hard put to it, and again driven almost to +despair. She might have succeeded in the attainment of that she +thirsted for most in life so easily had she known the character +with which she had to deal. Had she known to have soothed her +high and afflicted spirit: but that opportunity was past, and the +hour of examination at hand. She once thought of going and +claiming her articles, as she at first intended; but then, when she +thought again of the Wringhims swaying it at Dalcastle, where +she had been wont to hear them held in such contempt, if not +abhorrence, and perhaps of holding it by the most diabolical +means, she was withheld from marring the only chance that +remained of having a glimpse into that mysterious affair. + +Finally, she resolved not to answer to her name in the court, +rather than to appear and assert a falsehood, which she might be +called on to certify by oath. She did so; and heard the Sheriff give +orders to the officers to make inquiry for Miss Logan from +Edinburgh, at the various places of entertainment in town, and to +expedite her arrival in court, as things of great value were in +dependence. She also heard the man who had turned king's +evidence against the prisoner examined for the second time, and +sifted most cunningly. His answers gave anything but satisfaction +to the Sheriff, though Mrs. Logan believed them to be mainly +truth. But there were a few questions and answers that struck her +above all others. + +"How long is it since Mrs. Calvert and you became acquainted?" + +"About a year and a half." + +"State the precise time, if you please; the day, or night, according +to your remembrance." + +"It was on the morning of the 28th of February, 1705." + +"What time of the morning?" + +"Perhaps about one." + +"So early as that? At what place did you meet then?" + +"It was at the foot of one of the north wynds of Edinburgh." "Was +it by appointment that you met?" + +"No, it was not." + +"For what purpose was it then?" + +"For no purpose." + +"How is it that you chance to remember the day and hour so +minutely, if you met that woman, whom you have accused, +merely by chance, and for no manner of purpose, as you must +have met others that night, perhaps to the amount of hundreds, in +the same way?" + +"I have good cause to remember it, my lord." + +"What was that cause?--No answer?--You don't choose to say +what that cause was?" + +"I am not at liberty to tell." + +The Sheriff then descended to other particulars, all of which +tended to prove that the fellow was an accomplished villain, and +that the principal share of the atrocities had been committed by +him. Indeed the Sheriff hinted that he suspected the only share +Mrs. Calvert had in them was in being too much in his company, +and too true to him. The case was remitted to the Court of +Justiciary; but Mrs. Logan had heard enough to convince her that +the culprits first met at the very spot, and the very hour, on which +George Colwan was slain; and she had no doubt that they were +incendiaries set on by his mother, to forward her own and her +darling son's way to opulence. Mrs. Logan was wrong, as will +appear in the sequel; but her antipathy to Mrs. Colwan made her +watch the event with all care. She never quitted Peebles as long +as Bell Calvert remained there, and, when she was removed to +Edinburgh, the other followed. When the trial came on, Mrs. +Logan and her maid were again summoned as witnesses before +the jury, and compelled by the prosecutor for the Crown to +appear. + +The maid was first called; and, when she came into the witness +box, the anxious and hopeless looks of the prisoner were manifest +to all. But the girl, whose name, she said, was Bessy Gillies, +answered in so flippant and fearless a way that the auditors were +much amused. After a number of routine questions, the depute- +advocate asked her if she was at home on the morning of the fifth +of September last, when her mistress's house was robbed. + +"Was I at hame, say ye? Na, faith-ye, lad! An' I had been at hame, +there had been mair to dee. I wad hae raised sic a yelloch!" + +"Where were you that morning?" + +"Where was I, say you? I was in the house where my mistress +was, sitting dozing an' half sleeping in the kitchen. I thought aye +she would be setting out every minute, for twa hours." + +"And, when you went home, what did you find?" + +"What found we? Be my sooth, we found a broken lock, an' toom +kists." + +"Relate some of the particulars, if you please." + +"Sir, the thieves didna stand upon particulars: they were halesale +dealers in a' our best wares." + +"I mean, what passed between your mistress and you on the +occasion?" + +"What passed, say ye? O, there wasna muckle: I was in a great +passion, but she was dung doitrified a wee. When she gaed to put +the key i' the door, up it flew to the fer wa'. 'Bless ye, jaud, what's +the meaning o' this?' quo she. 'Ye hae left the door open, ye +tawpie!' quo she. 'The ne'er o' that I did,' quo I, 'or may my shakel +bane never turn another key.' When we got the candle lightit, a' +the house was in a hoad-road. 'Bessy, my woman,' quo she, 'we +are baith ruined and undone creatures.' 'The deil a bit,' quo I; 'that +I deny positively. H'mh! to speak o' a lass o' my age being ruined +and undone! I never had muckle except what was within a good +jerkin, an' let the thief ruin me there wha can. + +"Do you remember aught else that your mistress said on the +occasion? Did you hear her blame any person?" + +"O, she made a gread deal o' grumphing an' groaning about the +misfortune, as she ca'd it, an' I think she said it was a part o' the +ruin, wrought by the Ringans, or some sic name. 'They'll hae't a'! +They'll hae't a'!' cried she, wringing her hands; 'a'! they'll hae' a', +an' hell wi't, an' they'll get them baith.' 'Aweel, that's aye some +satisfaction,' quo I." + +"Whom did she mean by the Ringans, do you know?" + +"I fancy they are some creatures that she has dreamed about, +for I think there canna be as ill folks living as she ca's them." + +"Did you never hear say that the prisoner at the bar there, Mrs. +Calvert, or Bell Calvert, was the robber of her house; or that she +was one of the Ringans?" + +"Never. Somebody tauld her lately that ane Bell Calvert robbed +her house, but she disna believe it. Neither do I." + +"What reasons have you for doubting it?" + +"Because it was nae woman's fingers that broke up the bolts an' +the locks that were torn open that night." + +"Very pertinent, Bessy. Come then within the bar, and look, at +these articles on the table. Did you ever see these silver spoons +before?" + +"I hae seen some very like them, and whaever has seen siller +spoons has done the same." + +"Can you swear you never saw them before?" + +"Na, na, I wadna swear to ony siller spoons that ever war made, +unless I had put a private mark on them wi' my ain hand, an' that's +what I never did to ane." + +"See, they are all marked with a C." + +"Sae are a' the spoons in Argyle, an' the half o' them in Edinburgh +I think. A C is a very common letter, an' so are a' the names that +begin wi't. Lay them by, lay them by, an' gie the poor woman her +spoons again. They are marked wi' her ain name, an' I hae little +doubt they are hers, an' that she has seen better days." + +"Ah, God bless her heart!" sighed the prisoner; and that blessing +was echoed in the breathings of many a feeling breast. + +"Did you ever see this gown before, think you?" + +"I hae seen ane very like it." + +"Could you not swear that gown was your mistress's once?" + +"No, unless I saw her hae't on, an' kend that she had paid for't. I +am very scrupulous about an oath. Like is an ill mark. Sae ill +indeed that I wad hardly swear to anything." + +"But you say that gown is very like one your mistress used to +wear." + +"I never said sic a thing. It is like one I hae seen her hae out airing +on the hay raip i' the back green. It is very like ane I hae seen +Mrs. Butler in the Grass Market wearing too: I rather think it is +the same. Bless you, sir, I wadna swear to my ain forefinger, if it +had been as lang out o' my sight an', brought in an' laid on that +table." + +"Perhaps you are not aware, girl, that this scrupulousness of yours +is likely to thwart the purposes of justice, and bereave your +mistress of property to the amount of a thousand merks." (From +the Judge.) + +"I canna help that, my lord: that's her look-out. For my part, I am +resolved to keep a clear conscience, till I be married, at any rate." + +"Look over these things and see if there is any one article among +them which you can fix on as the property of your mistress." + +"No ane o' them. sir, no ane o' them. An oath is an awfu' thing, +especially when it is for life or death. Gie the poor woman her +things again, an' let my mistress pick up the next she finds: that's +my advice." + +When Mrs. Logan came into the box, the prisoner groaned and +laid down her head. But how she was astonished when she heard +her deliver herself something to the following purport--That, +whatever penalties she was doomed to abide, she was determined +she would not bear witness against a woman's life, from a certain +conviction that it could not be a woman who broke her house. "I +have no doubt that I may find some of my own things there," +added she, "but, if they were found in her possession, she has +been made a tool, or the dupe, of an infernal set, who shall be +nameless here. I believe she did not rob me, and for that reason I +will have no hand in her condemnation." + +The judge: "This is the most singular perversion I have ever +witnessed. Mrs. Logan, I entertain strong suspicions that the +prisoner, or her agents, have made some agreement with you on +this matter to prevent the course of justice." + +"So far from that, my lord, I went into the jail at Peebles to this +woman, whom I had never seen before, and proffered to +withdraw my part in the prosecution, as well as my evidence, +provided she would tell me a few simple facts; but she spurned at +my offer, and had me turned insolently out of the prison, with +orders to the jailor never to admit me again on any pretence." + +The prisoner's counsel, taking hold of this evidence, addressed +the jury with great fluency; and, finally, the prosecution was +withdrawn, and the prisoner dismissed from the bar, with a severe +reprimand for her past conduct, and an exhortation to keep better +company. + +It was not many days till a caddy came with a large parcel to Mrs. +Logan's house, which parcel he delivered into her hands, +accompanied with a sealed note, containing an inventory of the +articles, and a request to know if the unfortunate Arabella Calvert +would be admitted to converse with Mrs. Logan. + +Never was there a woman so much overjoyed as Mrs. Logan was +at this message. She returned compliments. Would be most happy +to see her; and no article of the parcel should be looked at, or +touched, till her arrival. It was not long till she made her +appearance, dressed in somewhat better style than she had yet +seen her; delivered her over the greater part of the stolen +property, besides many things that either never had belonged to +Mrs. Logan or that she thought proper to deny in order that the +other might retain them. + +The tale that she told of her misfortunes was of the most +distressing nature, and was enough to stir up all the tender, as +well as abhorrent feelings in the bosom of humanity. She had +suffered every deprivation in fame, fortune, and person. She had +been imprisoned; she had been scourged, and branded as an +impostor; and all on account of her resolute and unmoving +fidelity and truth to several of the very worst of men, every one of +whom had abandoned her to utter destitution and shame. But this +story we cannot enter on at present, as it would perhaps mar the +thread of our story, as much as it did the anxious anticipations of +Mrs. Logan, who sat pining and longing for the relation that +follows. + +"Now I know, Mrs. Logan, that you are expecting a detail of the +circumstances relating to the death of Mr. George Colwan; and, +in gratitude for your unbounded generosity and disinterestedness, +I will tell you all that I know, although, for causes that will +appear obvious to you, I had determined never in life to divulge +one circumstance of it. I can tell you, however, that you will be +disappointed, for it was not the gentleman who was accused, +found guilty, and would have suffered the utmost penalty of the +law had he not made his escape. It was not he, I say, who slew +your young master, nor had he any hand in it." + +"I never thought he had. But, pray, how do you come to know +this?" + +"You shall hear. I had been abandoned in York by an artful and +consummate fiend; and found guilty of being art and part +concerned in the most heinous atrocities, and, in his place, +suffered what I yet shudder to think of I was banished the county, +begged my way with my poor outcast child up to Edinburgh, and +was there obliged, for the second time in my life, to betake +myself to the most degrading of all means to support two +wretched lives. I hired a dress, and betook me, shivering, to the +High Street, too well aware that my form and appearance would +soon draw me suitors enow at that throng and intemperate time of +the Parliament. On my very first stepping out to the street, a party +of young gentlemen was passing. I heard by the noise they made, +and the tenor of their speech, that they were more then mellow, +and so I resolved to keep near them, in order, if possible, to make +some of them my prey. But, just as one of them began to eye me, +I was rudely thrust into a narrow close by one of the guardsmen. I +had heard to what house the party was bound, for the men were +talking exceedingly loud, and making no secret of it: so I hasted +down the close, and round below to the one where their +rendezvous was to be; but I was too late, they were all housed and +the door bolted. I resolved to wait, thinking they could not all stay +long; but I was perishing with famine, and was like to fall down. +The moon shone as bright as day, and I perceived, by a sign at the +bottom of the close, that there was a small tavern of a certain +description up two stairs there. I went up and called, telling the +mistress of the house my plan. She approved of it mainly, and +offered me her best apartment, provided I could get one of these +noble mates to accompany me. She abused Lucky Sudds, as she +called her, at the inn where the party was, envying her huge +profits, no doubt, and giving me afterwards something to drink +for which I really felt exceedingly grateful in my need. I stepped +downstairs in order to be on the alert. The moment that I reached +the ground, the door of Lucky Sudds' house opened and shut, and +down came the Honourable Thomas Drummond, with hasty and +impassioned strides, his sword rattling at his heel. I accosted him +in a soft and soothing tone. He was taken with my address; for he +instantly stood still and gazed intently at me, then at the place, +and then at me again. I beckoned him to follow me, which he did +without further ceremony, and we soon found ourselves together +in the best room of a house where everything was wretched. He +still looked about him, and at me; but all this while he had never +spoken a word. At length, I asked if he would take any +refreshment? 'If you please,' said he. I asked what he would have, +but he only answered, 'Whatever you choose, madam.' If he was +taken with my address, I was much more taken with his; for he +was a complete gentleman, and a gentleman will ever act as one. +At length, he began as follows: + +"'I am utterly at a loss to account for this adventure, madam. It +seems to me like enchantment, and I can hardly believe my +senses. An English lady, I judge, and one, who from her manner +and address should belong to the first class of society, in such a +place as this, is indeed matter of wonder to me. At the foot of a +close in Edinburgh! and at this time of the night! Surely it must +have been no common reverse of fortune that reduced you to +this?' I wept, or pretended to do so; on which he added, 'Pray, +madam, take heart. Tell me what has befallen you; and if I can do +anything for you, in restoring you to your country or your friends, +you shall command my interest.' + +"I had great need of a friend then, and I thought now was the time +to secure one. So I began and told him the moving tale I have told +you. But I soon perceived that I had kept by the naked truth too +unvarnishedly, and thereby quite overshot my mark. When he +learned that he was sitting in a wretched corner of an irregular +house, with a felon, who had so lately been scourged and +banished as a swindler and impostor, his modest nature took the +alarm, and he was shocked, instead of being moved with pity. His +eye fixed on some of the casual stripes on my arm, and from that +moment he became restless and impatient to be gone. I tried some +gentle arts to retain him, but in vain; so, after paying both the +landlady and me for pleasures he had neither tasted nor asked, he +took his leave. + +"I showed him downstairs; and, just as be turned the corner of the +next land, a man came rushing violently by him; exchanged looks +with him, and came running up to me. He appeared in great +agitation, and was quite out of breath; and, taking my hand in his, +we ran upstairs together without speaking, and were instantly in +the apartment I had left, where a stoup of wine still stood +untasted. 'Ah, this is fortunate!' said my new spark, and helped +himself. In the meanwhile, as our apartment was a corner one, +and looked both east and north, I ran to the eastern casement to +look after Drummond. Now, note me well: I saw him going +eastward in his tartans and bonnet, and the gilded hilt of his +claymore glittering in the moon; and, at the very same time, I saw +two men, the one in black, and the other likewise in tartans, +coming towards the steps from the opposite bank, by the foot of +the loch; and I saw Drummond and they eyeing each other as they +passed. I kept view of him till he vanished towards Leith Wynd, +and by that time the two strangers had come close up under our +window. This is what I wish you to pay particular attention to. I +had only lost sight of Drummond (who had given me his name +and address) for the short space of time that we took in running +up one pair of short stairs; and during that space he had halted a +moment, for, when I got my eye on him again, he had not crossed +the mouth of the next entry, nor proceeded above ten or twelve +paces, and, at the same time, I saw the two men coming down the +bank on the opposite side of the loch, at about three hundred +paces' distance. Both he and they were distinctly in my view, and +never within speech of each other, until he vanished into one of +the wynds leading towards the bottom of the High Street, at +which precise time the two strangers came below my window; so +that it was quite dear he neither could be one of them nor have +any communication with them. + +"Yet, mark me again; for, of all things I have ever seen, this was +the most singular. When I looked down at the two strangers, one +of them was extremely like Drummond. So like was he that there +was not one item in dress, form, feature, nor voice, by which I +could distinguish the one from the other. I was certain it was not +he, because I had seen the one going and the other approaching at +the same time, and my impression at the moment was that I +looked upon some spirit, or demon, in his likeness. I felt a +chillness creep all round my heart, my knees tottered, and, +withdrawing my head from the open casement that lay in the dark +shade, I said to the man who was with me, 'Good God, what is +this?' + +"'What is it, my dear?' said he, as much alarmed as I was. + +"'As I live, there stands an apparition!' said I. + +"He was not so much afraid when he heard me say so, and, +peeping cautiously out, he looked and listened awhile, and then, +drawing back, he said in a whisper, 'They are both living men, +and one of them is he I passed at the corner.' + +"'That he is not,' said I, emphatically. 'To that I will make oath.' + +"He smiled and shook his head, and then added, 'I never then saw +a man before, whom I could not know again, particularly if he +was the very last I had seen. But what matters it whether it be or +not? As it is no concern of ours, let us sit down and enjoy +ourselves.' + +'But it does matter a very great deal with me, sir,' said I. +'Bless me, my head is giddy--my breath quite gone, and I feel as if +I were surrounded with fiends. Who are you, sir?' + +'You shall know that ere we two part, my love,' said he. 'I cannot +conceive why the return of this young gentleman to the spot he so +lately left should discompose you. I suppose he got a glance of +you as he passed, and has returned to look after you, and that is +the whole secret of the matter.' + +"'If you will be so civil as to walk out and join him then, it will +oblige me hugely,' said I, 'for I never in my life experienced such +boding apprehensions of evil company. I cannot conceive how +you should come up here without asking my permission. Will it +please you to be gone, sir?' I was within an ace of prevailing. He +took out his purse--I need not say more--I was bribed to let him +remain. Ah, had I kept my frail resolution of dismissing him at +that moment, what a world of shame and misery had been evited! +But that, though uppermost still in my mind, has nothing ado +here. + +"When I peeped over again, the two men were disputing in a +whisper, the one of them in violent agitation and terror, and the +other upbraiding him, and urging him on to some desperate act. +At length I heard the young man in the Highland garb say +indignantly, 'Hush, recreant! It is God's work which you are +commissioned to execute, and it must be done. But, if you +positively decline it, I will do it myself, and do you beware of the +consequences.' + +"'Oh, I will, I will!' cried the other in black clothes, in a wretched +beseeching tone. 'You shall instruct me in this, as in all things +else.' + +"I thought all this while I was closely concealed from them, and +wondered not a little when be in tartans gave me a sly nod, as +much as to say, 'What do you think of this?' or, 'Take note of +what you see,' or something to that effect; from which I perceived +that, whatever he was about, he did not wish it to be kept a secret. +For all that, I was impressed with a terror and anxiety that I could +not overcome, but it only made me mark every event with the +more intense curiosity. The Highlander, whom I still could not +help regarding as the evil genius of Thomas Drummond, +performed every action as with the quickness of thought. He +concealed the youth in black in a narrow entry, a little to the +westward of my windows, and, as he was leading him across the +moonlight green by the shoulder, I perceived, for the first time, +that both of them were armed with rapiers. He pushed him +without resistance into the dark shaded close, made another signal +to me, and hasted up the close to Lucky Sudds' door. The city and +the morning were so still that I heard every word that was uttered, +on putting my head out a little. He knocked at the door sharply, +and, after waiting a considerable space, the bolt was drawn, and +the door, as I conceived, edged up as far as the massy chain +would let it. 'Is young Dalcastle still in the house?' said he +sharply. + +"I did not hear the answer, but I heard him say, shortly after, 'If +he is, pray tell him to speak with me for a few minutes.' He then +withdrew from the door, and came slowly down the close, in a +lingering manner, looking oft behind him. Dalcastle came out; +advanced a few steps after him, and then stood still, as if +hesitating whether or not he should call out a friend to +accompany him; and that instant the door behind him was closed, +chained, and the iron bolt drawn; on hearing of which, he +followed his adversary without further hesitation. As he passed +below my window, I heard him say, 'I beseech you, Tom, let us +do nothing in this matter rashly'; but I could not hear the answer +of the other, who had turned the corner. + +"I roused up my drowsy companion, who was leaning on the bed, +and we both looked together from the north window. We were in +the shade, but the moon shone full on the two young gentlemen. +Young Dalcastle was visibly the worse of liquor, and, his back +being turned towards us, he said something to the other which I +could not make out, although he spoke a considerable time, and, +from his tones and gestures, appeared to be reasoning. + +"When he had done, the tall young man in the tartans drew his +sword, and, his face being straight to us, we heard him say +distinctly, 'No more words about it, George, if you please; but if +you be a man, as I take you to be, draw your sword, and let us +settle it here.' + +"Dalcastle drew his sword, without changing his attitude; but +he spoke with more warmth, for we heard his words, 'Think you +that I fear you, Tom? Be assured, Sir, I would not fear ten of the +best of your name, at each other's backs: all that I want is to have +friends with us to see fair play, for, if you close with me, you are +a dead man.' + +"The other stormed at these words. 'You are a braggart, Sir,' +cried he, 'a wretch--a blot on the cheek of nature--a blight on +the Christian world--a reprobate--I'll have your soul, Sir. You +must play at tennis, and put down elect brethren in another world +to-morrow.' As he said this, he brandished his rapier, exciting +Dalcastle to offence. He gained his point. The latter, who had +previously drawn, advanced upon his vapouring and licentious +antagonist, and a fierce combat ensued. My companion was +delighted beyond measure, and I could not keep him from +exclaiming, loud enough to have been heard, 'That's grand! That's +excellent!' For me, my heart quaked like an aspen. Young +Dalcastle either had a decided advantage over his adversary, or +else the other thought proper to let him have it; for he shifted, and +swore, and flitted from Dalcastle's thrusts like a shadow, uttering +ofttimes a sarcastic laugh, that seemed to provoke the other +beyond all bearing. At one time, he would spring away to a great +distance, then advance again on young Dalcastle with the +swiftness of lightning. But that young hero always stood his +ground, and repelled the attack: he never gave way, although they +fought nearly twice round the bleaching green, which you know +is not a very small one. At length they fought close up to the +mouth of the dark entry, where the fellow in black stood all this +while concealed, and then the combatant in tartans closed with +his antagonist, or pretended to do so; but, the moment they began +to grapple, he wheeled about, turning Colwan's back towards the +entry, and then cried out, 'Ah, hell has it! My friend, my friend!' + +"That moment the fellow in black rushed from his cover with his +drawn rapier, and gave the brave young Dalcastle two deadly +wounds in the back, as quick as arm could thrust, both of which I +thought pierced through his body. He fell, and, rolling himself on +his back, he perceived who it was that had slain him thus foully, +and said, with a dying emphasis, which I never heard equalled, +'oh, dog of hell, it is you who has done this!' + +"He articulated some more, which I could not hear for other +sounds; for, the moment that the man in black inflicted the deadly +wound, my companion called out, 'That's unfair, you rip! That's +damnable! to strike a brave fellow behind! One at a time, you +cowards!' etc., to all which the unnatural fiend in the tartans +answered with a loud exulting laugh; and then, taking the poor +paralysed murderer by the bow of the arm, be hurried him in the +dark entry once more, where I lost sight of them for ever." + +Before this time Mrs. Logan had risen up; and, when the narrator +had finished, she was standing with her arms stretched upwards at +their full length, and her visage turned down, on which were +portrayed the lines of the most absolute horror. "The dark +suspicions of my late benefactor have been just, and his last +prediction is fulfilled," cried she. "The murderer of the +accomplished George Colwan has been his own brother, set on, +there is little doubt, by her who bare them both, and her directing +angel, the self-justified bigot. Aye, and yonder they sit, enjoying +the luxuries so dearly purchased, with perfect impunity! If the +Almighty do not hurl them down, blasted with shame and +confusion, there is no hope of retribution in this life. And, by His +might, I will be the agent to accomplish it! Why did the man not +pursue the foul murderers? Why did he not raise the alarm, and +call the watch?" + +"He? The wretch! He durst not move from the shelter he had +obtained. No, not for the soul of him. He was pursued for his life, +at the moment when he first flew into my arms. But I did not +know it; no, I did not then know him. May the curse of heaven, +and the blight of hell, settle on the detestable wretch! He pursue +for the sake of justice! No; his efforts have all been for evil, but +never for good. But I raised the alarm; miserable and degraded as +I was, I pursued and raised the watch myself Have you not heard +the name of Bell Calvert coupled with that hideous and +mysterious affair?" + +"Yes, I have. In secret often I have heard it. But how came it that +you could never be found? How came it that you never appeared +in defence of the Honourable Thomas Drummond; you, the only +person who could have justified him?" + +"I could not, for I then fell under the power and guidance of a +wretch who durst not for the soul of him be brought forward in +the affair. And, what was worse, his evidence would have +overborne mine, for he would have sworn that the man who +called out and fought Colwan was the same he met leaving my +apartment, and there was an end of it. And, moreover, it is well +known that this same man--this wretch of whom I speak, never +mistook one man for another in his life, which makes the mystery +of the likeness between this incendiary and Drummond the more +extraordinary." + +"If it was Drummond, after all that you have asserted, then are +my surmises still wrong." + +"There is nothing of which I can be more certain than that it was +not Drummond. We have nothing on earth but our senses to +depend upon. if these deceive us, what are we to do? I own I +cannot account for it; nor ever shall be able to account for it as +long as I live." + +"Could you know the man in black, if you saw him again?" + +"I think I could, if I saw him walk or run: his gait was very +particular. He walked as if he had been flat-soled, and his legs +made of steel, without any joints in his feet or ankles." + +"The very same! The very same! The very same! Pray will you +take a few days' journey into the country with me, to look at such +a man?" + +"You have preserved my life, and for you I will do anything. I +will accompany you with pleasure: and I think I can say that I +will know him, for his form left an impression on my heart not +soon to be effaced. But of this I am sure that my unworthy +companion will recognize him, and that he will be able to swear +to his identity every day as long as he lives." + +"Where is he? Where is he? Oh! Mrs. Calvert, where is he?" + +"Where is he? He is the wretch whom you heard giving me up to +the death; who, after experiencing every mark of affection that a +poor ruined being could confer, and after committing a thousand +atrocities of which she was ignorant, became an informer to save +his diabolical life, and attempted to offer up mine as a sacrifice +for all. We will go by ourselves first, and I will tell you if it +is necessary to send any farther." + +The two dames, the very next morning, dressed themselves like +country goodwives, and, hiring two stout ponies furnished with +pillions, they took their journey westward, and the second +evening after leaving Edinburgh they arrived at the village about +two miles below Dalcastle, where they alighted. But Mrs. Logan, +being anxious to have Mrs. Calvert's judgment, without either +hint or preparation, took care not to mention that they were so +near to the end of their journey. In conformity with this plan, she +said, after they had sat a while: "Heigh-ho, but I am weary! What, +suppose we should rest a day here before we proceed farther on +our journey?" + +Mrs. Calvert was leaning on the casement and looking out when +her companion addressed these words to her, and by far too much +engaged to return any answer, for her eyes were riveted on two +young men who approached from the farther end of the village; +and at length, turning round her head, she said, with the most +intense interest, "Proceed farther on our journey, did you say? +That we need not do; for, as I live, here comes the very man!" + +Mrs. Logan ran to the window, and, behold, there was indeed +Robert Wringhim Colwan (now the Laird of Dalcastle) coming +forward almost below their window, walking arm in arm with +another young man; and, as the two passed, the latter looked up +and made a sly signal to the two dames, biting his lip, winking +with his left eye, and nodding his head. Mrs. Calvert was +astonished at this recognizance, the young man's former +companion having made exactly such another signal on the night +of the duel, by the light of the moon; and it struck her, moreover, +that she had somewhere seen this young man's face before. She +looked after him, and he winked over his shoulder to her; but she +was prevented from returning his salute by her companion, who +uttered a loud cry, between a groan and shriek, and fell down on +the floor with a rumble like a wall that had suddenly been +undermined. She had fainted quite away, and required all her +companion's attention during the remainder of the evening, for +she had scarcely ever well recovered out of one fit before she fell +into another, and in the short intervals she raved like one +distracted or in a dream. After falling into a sound sleep by night. +she recovered her equanimity, and the two began to converse +seriously on what they had seen. Mrs. Calvert averred that the +young man who passed next to the window was the very man +who stabbed George Colwan in the back, and she said she was +willing to take her oath on it at any time when required, and was +certain, if the wretch Ridsley saw him, that he would make oath +to the same purport, for that his walk was so peculiar no one of +common discernment could mistake it. + +Mrs. Logan was in great agitation, and said: "It is what I have +suspected all along, and what I am sure my late master and +benefactor was persuaded of, and the horror of such an idea cut +short his days. That wretch, Mrs. Calvert, is the born brother of +him he murdered, sons of the same mother they were, whether or +not of the same father, the Lord only knows. But, Oh, Mrs. +Calvert, that is not the main thing that has discomposed me, and +shaken my nerves to pieces at this time. Who do you think the +young man was who walked in his company to-night?" + +"I cannot for my life recollect, but am convinced I have seen the +same fine form and face before." + +"And did not he seem to know us, Mrs. Calvert? You who are +able to recollect things as they happened, did he not seem to +recollect us, and make signs to that effect?" + +"He did, indeed, and apparently with great good humour." + +"Oh, Mrs Calvert, hold me, else I shall fall into hysterics again! +Who is he? Who is he? Tell me who you suppose he is, for I +cannot say my own thought." + +"On my life, I cannot remember." + +"Did you note the appearance of the young gentleman you saw +slain that night? Do you recollect aught of the appearance of my +young master, George Colwan?" + +Mrs. Calvert sat silent, and stared the other mildly in the face. +Their looks encountered, and there was an unearthly amazement +that gleamed from each, which, meeting together, caught real fire, +and returned the flame to their heated imaginations, till the two +associates became like two statues, with their hands spread, their +eyes fixed, and their chops fallen down upon their bosoms. An +old woman who kept the lodging-house, having been called in +before when Mrs. Logan was faintish, chanced to enter at this +crisis with some cordial; and, seeing the state of her lodgers, she +caught the infection, and fell into the same rigid and statue-like +appearance. No scene more striking was ever exhibited; and if +Mrs. Calvert had not resumed strength of mind to speak, and +break the spell, it is impossible to say how long it might have +continued. "It is he, I believe," said she, uttering the words as it +were inwardly. "It can be none other but he. But, no, it is +impossible! I saw him stabbed through and through the heart; I +saw him roll backward on the green in his own blood, utter his +last words, and groan away his soul. Yet, if it is not he, who can it +be?" + +"It is he!" cried Mrs. Logan, hysterically. + +"Yes, yes, it is he!" cried the landlady, in unison. + +"It is who?" said Mrs. Calvert. "Whom do you mean, mistress?" + +"Oh, I don't know! I don't know! I was affrighted." + +"Hold your peace then till you recover your senses, and tell me, if +you can, who that young gentleman is who keeps company with +the new Laird of Dalcastle?" + +"Oh, it is he! It is he!" screamed Mrs. Logan, wringing her hands. + +"Oh, it is he! It is he!" cried the landlady, wringing hers. + +Mrs. Calvert turned the latter gently and civilly out of the +apartment, observing that there seemed to be some infection in +the air of the room, and she would be wise for herself to keep out +of it. + +The two dames had a restless and hideous night. Sleep came not +to their relief, for their conversation was wholly about the dead, +who seemed to be alive, and their minds were wandering and +groping in a chaos of mystery. "Did you attend to his corpse, and +know that he positively died and was buried?" said Mrs. Calvert. + +"Oh, yes, from the moment that his fair but mangled corpse was +brought home, I attended it till that when it was screwed in the +coffin. I washed the long stripes of blood from his lifeless form, +on both sides of the body. I bathed the livid wound that passed +through his generous and gentle heart. There was one through the +flesh of his left side too, which had bled most outwardly of them +all. I bathed them, and bandaged them up with wax and perfumed +ointment, but still the blood oozed through all, so that when he +was laid in the coffin he was like one newly murdered. My brave, +my generous young master. He was always as a son to me, and no +son was ever more kind or more respectful to a mother. But he +was butchered--he was cut off from the earth ere he had well +reached to manhood--most barbarously and unfairly slain. And +how is it, how can it be, that we again see him here, walking arm +in arm with his murderer?" + +"The thing cannot be, Mrs. Logan. It is a phantasy of our +disturbed imaginations, therefore let us compose ourselves till we +investigate this matter farther." + +"It cannot be in nature, that is quite clear," said Mrs. Logan. "Yet +how it should be that I should think so--I who knew and nursed +him from his infancy--there lies the paradox. As you said once +before, we have nothing but our senses to depend on, and, if you +and I believe that we see a person, why, we do see him. Whose +word, or whose reasoning can convince us against our own +senses? We will disguise ourselves as poor women selling a few +country wares, and we will go up to the Hall, and see what is to +see, and hear what we can hear, for this is a weighty business in +which we are engaged, namely, to turn the vengeance of the law +upon an unnatural monster; and we will further learn, if we can, +who this is that accompanies him." + +Mrs. Calvert acquiesced, and the two dames took their way to +Dalcastle, with baskets well furnished with trifles. They did not +take the common path from the village, but went about, and +approached the mansion by a different way. But it seemed as if +some overruling power ordered it that they should miss no chance +of attaining the information they wanted. For ere ever they came +within half a mile of Dalcastle they perceived the two youths +coming as to meet them, on the same path. The road leading +from Dalcastle towards the north-east, as all the country knows, +goes along a dark bank of brush-wood called the Bogle-heuch. It +was by this track that the two women were going, and, when they +perceived the two gentlemen meeting them, they turned back, +and, the moment they were out of their sight, they concealed +themselves in a thicket close by the road. They did this because +Mrs. Logan was terrified for being discovered, and because they +wished to reconnoitre without being seen. Mrs. Calvert now +charged her, whatever she saw, or whatever she heard, to put on a +resolution, and support it, for if she fainted there and was +discovered, what was to become of her! + +The two young men came on, in earnest and vehement +conversation; but the subject they were on was a terrible one, and +hardly fit to be repeated in the face of a Christian community. +Wringhim was disputing the boundlessness of the true Christian's +freedom, and expressing doubts that, chosen as he knew he was +from all eternity, still it might be possible for him to commit acts +that would exclude him from the limits of the covenant. The other +argued, with mighty fluency, that the thing was utterly +impossible, and altogether inconsistent with eternal +predestination. The arguments of the latter prevailed, and the +laird was driven to sullen silence. But, to the women's utter +surprise, as the conquering disputant passed, he made a signal of +recognizance through the brambles to them, as formerly, and, that +he might expose his associate fully, and in his true colours, he led +him back, wards and forwards by the women more than twenty +times, making him to confess both the crimes that he had done +and those he had in contemplation. At length he said to him: +"Assuredly I saw some strolling vagrant women on this walk, my +dear friend: I wish we could find them, for there is little doubt +that they are concealed here in your woods." + +"I wish we could find them," answered Wringhim. "We would +have fine sport maltreating and abusing them." + +"That we should, that we should! Now tell me, Robert, if you +found a malevolent woman, the latent enemy of your prosperity, +lurking in these woods to betray you, what would you inflict on +her?" + +"I would tear her to pieces with my dogs, and feed them with her +flesh. Oh, my dear friend, there is an old strumpet who lived with +my unnatural father, whom I hold in such utter detestation that I +stand constantly in dread of her, and would sacrifice the half of +my estate to shed her blood!" + +"What will you give me if I will put her in your power, and give +you a fair and genuine excuse for making away with her; one for +which you shall answer at the bar, here or hereafter?" + +"I should like to see the vile hag put down. She is in possession of +the family plate, that is mine by right, as well as a thousand +valuable relics, and great riches besides, all of which the old +profligate gifted shamefully away. And it is said, besides all +these, that she has sworn my destruction." + +"She has, she has. But I see not how she can accomplish that, +seeing the deed was done so suddenly, and in the silence of the +night." + +"It was said there were some onlookers. But where shall we find +that disgraceful Miss Logan?" + +"I will show you her by and by. But will you then consent to the +other meritorious deed? Come, be a man, and throw away +scruples." + +"If you can convince me that the promise is binding I will." + +"Then step this way, till I give you a piece of information." + +They walked a little way out of hearing, but went not out of sight; +therefore, though the women were in a terrible quandary, they +durst not stir, for they had some hopes that this extraordinary +person was on a mission of the same sort with themselves, knew +of them, and was going to make use of their testimony. Mrs. +Logan was several times on the point of falling into a swoon, so +much did the appearance of the young man impress her, until her +associate covered her face that she might listen without +embarrassment. But this latter dialogue roused different feelings +within them; namely, those arising from imminent personal +danger. They saw his waggish associate point out the place of +their concealment to Wringhim, who came towards them, out of +curiosity to see what his friend meant by what he believed to be a +joke, manifestly without crediting it in the least degree. When he +came running away, the other called after him: "If she is too hard +for you, call to me." As he said this, he hasted out of sight, in the +contrary direction, apparently much delighted with the joke. + +Wringhim came rushing through the thicket impetuously, to the +very spot where Mrs. Logan lay squatted. She held the wrapping +close about her head, but he tore it off and discovered her. "The +curse of God be on thee!" said he. "What fiend has brought thee +here, and for what purpose art thou come? But, whatever has +brought thee, I have thee!" and with that he seized her by the +throat. The two women, when they heard what jeopardy they +were in from such a wretch, had squatted among the underwood +at a small distance from each other, so that he had never observed +Mrs. Calvert; but, no sooner had he seized her benefactor, than, +like a wild cat, she sprung out of the thicket, and had both hands +fixed at his throat, one of them twisted in his stock, in a +twinkling. She brought him back-over among the brushwood, and +the two, fixing on him like two harpies, mastered him with case. +Then indeed was he woefully beset. He deemed for a while that +his friend was at his back, and, turning his bloodshot eyes +towards the path, he attempted to call; but there was no friend +there, and the women cut short his cries by another twist of his +stock. "Now, gallant and rightful Laird of Dalcastle," said Mrs. +Logan, "what hast thou to say for thyself? Lay thy account to dree +the weird thou hast so well earned. Now shalt thou suffer due +penance for murdering thy brave and only brother." + +"Thou liest, thou hag of the pit! I touched not my brother's life." + +"I saw thee do it with these eyes that now look thee in the face; +ay, when his back was to thee, too, and while he was hotly +engaged with thy friend," said Mrs. Calvert. + +"I heard thee confess it again and again this same hour," said Mrs. +Logan. + +"Ay, and so did I," said her companion. "Murder will out, though +the Almighty should lend hearing to the ears of the willow, and +speech to the seven tongues of the woodriff." + +"You are liars and witches!" said he, foaming with rage, "and +creatures fitted from the beginning for eternal destruction. I'll +have your bones and your blood sacrificed on your cursed altars! +O Gil-Martin! Gil-Martin! Where art thou now? Here, here is the +proper food for blessed vengeance! Hilloa!" + +There was no friend, no Gil-Martin there to hear or assist him: he +was in the two women's mercy, but they used it with moderation. +They mocked, they tormented, and they threatened him; but, +finally, after putting him in great terror, they bound his hands +behind his back, and his feet fast with long straps of garters +which they chanced to have in their baskets, to prevent him from +pursuing them till they were out of his reach. As they left him, +which they did in the middle of the path, Mrs. Calvert said: "We +could easily put an end to thy sinful life, but our hands shall be +free of thy blood. Nevertheless thou art still in our power, and the +vengeance of thy country shall overtake thee, thou mean and +cowardly murderer, ay, and that more suddenly than thou art +aware!" + +The women posted to Edinburgh; and as they put themselves +under the protection of an English merchant, who was journeying +thither with twenty horses laden, and armed servants, so they had +scarcely any conversation on the road. When they arrived at Mrs. +Logan's house, then they spoke of what they had seen and heard, +and agreed that they had sufficient proof to condemn young +Wringhim, who they thought richly deserved the severest doom +of the law. + +"I never in my life saw any human being," said Mrs. Calvert, +whom I thought so like a fiend. If a demon could inherit flesh and +blood, that youth is precisely such a being as I could conceive +that demon to be. The depth and the malignity of his eye is +hideous. His breath is like the airs from a charnel house, and his +flesh seems fading from his bones, as if the worm that never dies +were gnawing it away already." + +"He was always repulsive, and every way repulsive," said the +other, "but be is now indeed altered greatly to the worse. While +we were hand-fasting him, I felt his body to be feeble and +emaciated; but yet I know him to be so puffed up with spiritual +pride that I believe he weens every one of his actions justified +before God, and, instead of having stings of conscience for these, +he takes great merit to himself in having effected them. Still my +thoughts are less about him than the extraordinary being who +accompanies him. He does everything with so much ease and +indifference, so much velocity and effect, that all bespeak him an +adept in wickedness. The likeness to my late hapless young +master is so striking that I can hardly believe it to be a chance +model; and I think he imitates him in everything, for some +purpose or some effect on his sinful associate. Do you know that +he is so like in every lineament, look, and gesture, that, against +the, clearest light of reason, I cannot in my mind separate the one +from the other, and have a certain indefinable expression on my +mind that they are one and the same being, or that the one was a +prototype of the other." + +"If there is an earthly crime," said Mrs. Calvert, "for the due +punishment of which the Almighty may be supposed to subvert +the order of nature, it is fratricide. But tell me, dear friend, did +you remark to what the subtile and hellish villain was +endeavouring to prompt the assassin?" + +"No, I could not comprehend it. My senses were altogether so +bewildered that I thought they had combined to deceive me, and I +gave them no credit." + +"Then bear me: I am almost certain he was using every +persuasion to induce him to make away with his mother; and I +likewise conceive that I heard the incendiary give his consent!" + +"This is dreadful. Let us speak and think no more about it, till we +see the issue. In the meantime, let us do that which is our +bounden duty--go and divulge all that we know relating to this +foul murder." + +Accordingly the two women went to Sir Thomas Wallace of +Craigie, the Lord justice Clerk (who was, I think, either uncle or +grandfather to young Drummond, who was outlawed and obliged +to fly his country on account of Colwan's death), and to that +gentleman they related every circumstance of what they had seen +and heard. He examined Calvert very minutely, and seemed +deeply interested in her evidence--said he knew she was relating +the truth, and, in testimony of it, brought a letter of young +Drummond's from his desk, wherein that young gentleman, after +protesting his innocence in the most forcible terms, confessed +having been with such a woman in such a house, after leaving the +company of his friends; and that, on going home, Sir Thomas's +servant had let him in, in the dark, and from these circumstances +he found it impossible to prove an alibi. He begged of his +relative, if ever an opportunity offered, to do his endeavour to +clear up that mystery, and remove the horrid stigma from his +name in his country, and among his kin, of having stabbed a +friend behind his back. + +Lord Craigie, therefore, directed the two women to the proper +authorities, and, after hearing their evidence there, it was judged +proper to apprehend the present Laird of Dalcastle, and bring him +to his trial. But, before that, they sent the prisoner in the +Tolbooth, he who had seen the whole transaction along with Mrs. +Calvert, to take a view of Wringhim privately; and, his +discrimination being so well known as to be proverbial all over +the land, they determined secretly to be ruled by his report. They +accordingly sent him on a pretended mission of legality to +Dalcastle, with orders to see and speak with the proprietor, +without giving him a hint what was wanted. On his return, they +examined him, and he told them that he found all things at the +place in utter confusion and dismay; that the lady of the place was +missing, and could not be found, dead or alive. On being asked if +he had ever seen the proprietor before, he looked astounded and +unwilling to answer. But it came out that he had; and that he had +once seen him kill a man on such a spot at such an hour. + +Officers were then dispatched, without delay, to apprehend the +monster, and bring him to justice. On these going to the mansion, +and inquiring for him, they were told he was at home; on which +they stationed guards, and searched all the premises, but he was +not to be found. It was in vain that they overturned beds, raised +floors, and broke open closets: Robert Wringhim Colwan was lost +once and for ever. His mother also was lost; and strong suspicions +attached to some of the farmers and house servants to whom she +was obnoxious, relating to her disappearance. + +The Honourable Thomas Drummond became a distinguished +officer in the Austrian service, and died in the memorable year +for Scotland, 1715; and this is all with which history, justiciary +records, and tradition, furnish me relating to these matters. + +I have now the pleasure of presenting my readers with an original +document of a most singular nature, and preserved for their +perusal in a still more singular manner. I offer no remarks on it, +and make as few additions to it, leaving everyone to judge for +himself. We have heard much of the rage of fanaticism in former +days, but nothing to this. + + + + +The Private Memoirs and +Confessions of a Sinner +WRITTEN BY HIMSELF + + + +PRIVATE MEMOIRS AND CONFESSIONS OF A SINNER + + +My life has been a life of trouble and turmoil of change and +vicissitude; of anger and exultation; of sorrow and of vengeance. +My sorrows have all been for a slighted gospel, and my +vengeance has been wreaked on its adversaries. Therefore, in the +might of Heaven, I will sit down and write: I will let the wicked +of this world know what I have done in the faith of the promises, +and justification by grace, that they may read and tremble, and +bless their gods of silver and gold that the minister of Heaven was +removed from their sphere before their blood was mingled with +their sacrifices. + +I was born an outcast in the world, in which I was destined to act +so conspicuous a part. My mother was a burning and a shining +light, in the community of Scottish worthies, and in the days of +her virginity had suffered much in the persecution of the saints. +But it so pleased Heaven that, as a trial of her faith, she was +married to one of the wicked; a man all over spotted with the +leprosy of sin. As well might they have conjoined fire and water +together, in hopes that they would consort and amalgamate, as +purity and corruption: She fled from his embraces the first night +after their marriage, and from that time forth his iniquities so +galled her upright heart that she quitted his society altogether, +keeping her own apartments in the same house with him. + +I was the second son of this unhappy marriage, and, ere ever I +was born, my father according to the flesh disclaimed all relation +or connection with me, and all interest in me, save what the law +compelled him to take, which was to grant me a scanty +maintenance; and had it not been for a faithful minister of the +gospel, my mother's early instructor, I should have remained an +outcast from the church visible. He took pity on me, admitting me +not only into that, but into the bosom of his own household and +ministry also, and to him am I indebted, under Heaven, for the +high conceptions and glorious discernment between good and +evil, right and wrong, which I attained even at an early age. It was +he who directed my studies aright, both in the learning of the +ancient fathers and the doctrines of the reformed church, and +designed me for his assistant and successor in the holy office. I +missed no opportunity of perfecting myself particularly in all the +minute points of theology in which my reverend father and +mother took great delight; but at length I acquired so much skill +that I astonished my teachers, and made them gaze at one +another. I remember that it was the custom, in my patron's house, +to ask questions of the Single Catechism round every Sabbath +night. He asked the first, my mother the second, and so on, +everyone saying the question asked and then asking the next. It +fell to my mother to ask Effectual Calling at me. I said the answer +with propriety and emphasis. "Now, madam," added I, my +question to you is: What is Ineffectual Calling?" + +"Ineffectual Calling? There is no such thing, Robert," said she. + +"But there is, madam," said I, and that answer proves how much +you say these fundamental precepts by rote, and without any +consideration. Ineffectual Calling is the outward call of the gospel +without any effect on the hearts of unregenerated and impenitent +sinners. Have not all these the same calls, warnings, doctrines, +and reproofs, that we have? And is not this ineffectual Calling? +Has not Ardinferry the same? Has not Patrick M'Lure the same? +Has not the Laird of Dalcastle and his reprobate heir the same? +And will any tell me that this is not Ineffectual Calling?" + +"What a wonderful boy he is!" said my mother. + +"I'm feared he turn out to be a conceited gowk," said old Barnet, +the minister's man. + +"No," said my pastor, and father (as I shall henceforth +denominate him). "No, Barnet, he is a wonderful boy; and no +marvel, for I have prayed for these talents to be bestowed on him +from his infancy: and do you think that Heaven would refuse a +prayer so disinterested? No, it is impossible. But my dread is, +madam," continued he, turning to my mother, "that he is yet in +the bond of iniquity." + +"God forbid!" said my mother. + +"I have struggled with the Almighty long and hard," continued +he; "but have as yet no certain token of acceptance in his behalf, I +have indeed fought a hard fight, but have been repulsed by him +who hath seldom refused my request; although I cited his own +words against him, and endeavoured to hold him at his promise, +he hath so many turnings in the supremacy of his power, that I +have been rejected. How dreadful is it to think of our darling +being still without the pale of the covenant! But I have vowed a +vow, and in that there is hope." + +My heart quaked with terror when I thought of being still living +in a state of reprobation, subjected to the awful issues of death, +judgment, and eternal misery, by the slightest accident or +casualty; and I set about the duty of prayer myself with the +utmost earnestness. I prayed three times every day, and seven +times on the Sabbath; but, the more frequently and fervently that I +prayed, I sinned still the more. About this time, and for a long +period afterwards, amounting to several years, I lived in a +hopeless and deplorable state of mind; for I said to myself, "If my +name is not written in the book of life from all eternity, it is in +vain for me to presume that either vows or prayers of mine, or +those of all mankind combined, can ever procure its insertion +now." I had come under many vows, most solemnly taken, every +one of which I had broken; and I saw with the intensity of +juvenile grief that there was no hope for me. I went on sinning +every hour, and all the while most strenuously warring against +sin, and repenting of every one transgression as soon after the +commission of it as I got leisure to think. But, oh, what a +wretched state this unregenerated state is, in which every effort +after righteousness only aggravates our offences! I found it vanity +to contend; for, after communing with my heart, the conclusion +was as follows: "If I could repent me of all my sins, and shed +tears of blood for them, still have I not a load of original +transgression pressing on me that is enough to crush me to the +lowest hell. I may be angry with my first parents for having +sinned, but how I shall repent me of their sin is beyond what I am +able to comprehend." + +Still, in those days of depravity and corruption, I had some of +those principles implanted in my mind which were afterwards to +spring up with such amazing fertility among the heroes of the +faith and the promises. In particular, I felt great indignation +against all the wicked of this world, and often wished for the +means of ridding it of such a noxious burden. I liked John Barnet, +my reverend father's serving-man, extremely ill; but, from a +supposition that he might be one of the justified, I refrained from +doing him any injury. He gave always his word against me, and +when we were by ourselves, in the barn or the fields, he rated me +with such severity for my faults that my heart could brook it no +longer. He discovered some notorious lies that I had framed, and +taxed me with them in such a manner that I could in no wise get +off. My cheek burnt, with offence, rather than shame; and he, +thinking he had got the mastery of me, exulted over me most +unmercifully, telling me I was a selfish and conceited blackguard, +who made great pretences towards religious devotion to cloak a +disposition tainted with deceit, and that it would not much +astonish him if I brought myself to the gallows. + +I gathered some courage from his over-severity, and answered +him as follows: "Who made thee a judge of the actions or +dispositions of the Almighty's creatures--thou who art a worm +and no man in his sight? How it befits thee to deal out judgments and +anathemas! Hath he not made one vessel to honour, and another +to dishonour, as in the case with myself and thee? Hath he not +builded his stories in the heavens, and laid the foundations +thereof in the earth, and how can a being like thee judge between +good and evil, that are both subjected to the workings of his hand; +or of the opposing principles in the soul of man, correcting, +modifying, and refining one another?" + +I said this with that strong display of fervour for which I was +remarkable at my years, and expected old Barnet to be utterly +confounded; but he only shook his head, and, with the most +provoking grin, said: "There he goes! Sickan sublime and +ridiculous sophistry I never heard come out of another mouth but +ane. There needs nae aiths to be sworn afore the session wha is +your father, young goodman. I ne'er, for my part, saw a son sac +like a dad, sin' my een first opened." With that he went away, +saying with an ill-natured wince: "You made to honour and me to +dishonour! Dirty bow-kail thing that thou be'st!" + +"I will have the old rascal on the hip for this, if I live," thought I. +So I went and asked my mother if John was a righteous man. She +could not tell, but supposed he was, and therefore I got no +encouragement from her. I went next to my reverend father, and +inquired his opinion, expecting as little from that quarter. He +knew the elect as it were by instinct, and could have told you of +all those in his own, and some neighbouring parishes, who were +born within the boundaries of the covenant of promise, and who +were not. + +"I keep a good deal in company with your servant, old Barnet, +father," said I. + +"You do, boy, you do, I see," said he. + +"I wish I may not keep too much in his company," said I, "not +knowing what kind of society I am in. Is John a good man, +father?" + +"Why, boy, he is but so so. A morally good man John is, but very +little of the leaven of true righteousness, which is faith, within. I +am afraid old Barnet, with all his stock of morality, will be a +castaway." + +My heart was greatly cheered by this remark; and I sighed very +deeply, and hung my head to one side. The worthy father +observed me, and inquired the cause, when I answered as follows: +"How dreadful the thought, that I have been going daily in +company and fellowship with one whose name is written on the +red-letter side of the book of life; whose body and soul have +been, from all eternity, consigned over to everlasting destruction, +and to whom the blood of the atonement can never, never reach! +Father, this is an awful thing, and beyond my comprehension." + +"While we are in the world, we must mix with the inhabitants +thereof," said he; "and the stains which adhere to us by reason of +this mixture, which is unavoidable, shall all be washed away. It is +our duty, however, to shun the society of wicked men as much as +possible, lest we partake of their sins, and become sharers with +them in punishment. John, however, is morally a good man, and +may yet get a cast of grace." + +"I always thought him a good man till to-day," said I, "when he +threw out some reflections on your character, so horrible that I +quake to think of the wickedness and malevolence of his heart. +He was rating me very impertinently for some supposed fault, +which had no being save in his own jealous brain, when I +attempted to reason him out of his belief in the spirit of calm +Christian argument. But how do you think he answered me? He +did so, sir, by twisting his mouth at me, and remarking that such +sublime and ridiculous sophistry never came out of another +mouth but one (meaning yours) and that no oath before a kirk +session was necessary to prove who was my dad, for that he had +never seen a son so like a father as I was like mine." + +"He durst not for his soul's salvation, and for his daily bread, +which he values much more, say such a word, boy; therefore, take +care what you assert," said my reverend father. + +"He said these very words, and will not deny them, sir," said I. + +My reverend father turned about in great wrath and indignation, +and went away in search of John, but I kept out of the way, and +listened at a back window; for John was dressing the plot of +ground behind the house; and I hope it was no sin in me that I did +rejoice in the dialogue which took place, it being the victory of +righteousness over error. + +"Well, John, this is a fine day for your delving work." + +"Ay, it's a tolerable day, sir." + +"Are you thankful in heart, John, for such temporal mercies as +these?" + +"Aw doubt we're a' ower little thankfu', sir, baith for temporal an' +speeritual mercies; but it isna aye the maist thankfu' heart that +maks the greatest fraze wi' the tongue." + +"I hope there is nothing personal under that remark, John?" + +"Gin the bannet fits ony body's head, they're unco welcome to it, +sir, for me." + +"John, I do not approve of these innuendoes. You have an arch +malicious manner. of vending your aphorisms, which the men of +the world are too apt to read the wrong way, for your dark hints +are sure to have one very bad meaning." + +"Hout na, sir, it's only bad folks that think sac. They find ma bits +o' gibes come hame to their hearts wi' a kind o' yerk, an' that gars +them wince." + +"That saying is ten times worse than the other, John; it is a +manifest insult: it is just telling me to my face that you think me a +bad man." + +"A body canna help his thoughts, sir." + +"No, but a man's thoughts are generally formed from observation. +Now I should like to know, even from the mouth of a +misbeliever, what part of my conduct warrants such a +conclusion." + +"Nae particular pairt, sir; I draw a' my conclusions frae the haill o' +a man's character, an' I'm no that aften far wrong." + +"Well, John, and what sort of general character do you suppose +mine to be?" + +"Yours is a Scripture character, sir, an' I'll prove it." + +"I hope so, John. Well, which of the Scripture characters do you +think approximates nearest to my own?" + +"Guess, sir, guess; I wish to lead a proof." + +"Why, if it be an Old Testament character, I hope it is +Melchizedek, for at all events you cannot deny there is one point +of resemblance: I, like him, am a preacher of righteousness. If it +be a New Testament character, I suppose you mean the Apostle +of the Gentiles, of whom I am an unworthy representative." + +"Na, na, sir, better nor that still, an' fer closer is the resemblance. +When ye bring me to the point, I maun speak. Ye are the just +Pharisee, sir, that gaed up wi' the poor publican to pray in the +Temple; an' ye're acting the very same pairt at this time, an' +saying i' your heart, 'God, I thank thee that I am not as other men +are, an' in nae way like this poor misbelieving unregenerate +sinner, John Barnet.'" + +"I hope I may say so indeed." + +"There now! I tauld you how it was! But, d'ye hear, maister. Here +stands the poor sinner, John Barnet, your beadle an' servantman, +wha wadna change chances wi' you in the neist world, nor +consciences in this, for ten times a' that you possess--your +justification by faith an' awthegither." + +"You are extremely audacious and impertinent, John; but the +language of reprobation cannot affect me: I came only to ask you +one question, which I desire you to answer candidly. Did you +ever say to anyone that I was the boy Robert's natural father?" + +"Hout na, sir! Ha-ha-ha! Aih, fie, na, sir! I durst-na say that for +my life. I doubt the black stool, an' the sack gown, or maybe the +juggs wad hae been my portion had I said sic a thing as that. +Hout, hout! Fie, fie! Unco-like doings thae for a Melchizedek or a +Saint Paul!" + +"John, you are a profane old man, and I desire that you will not +presume to break your jests on me. Tell me, dare you say, or dare +you think, that I am the natural father of that boy?" + +"Ye canna hinder me to think whatever I like, sir, nor can I hinder +mysel." + +"But did you ever say to anyone that he resembled me, and +fathered himself well enough?" + +"I hae said mony a time that he resembled you, sir. Naebody can +mistake that." + +"But, John, there are many natural reasons for such likenesses, +besides that of consanguinity. They depend much on the thoughts +and affections of the mother; and it is probable that the mother of +this boy, being deserted by her worthless husband, having turned +her thoughts on me, as likely to be her protector, may have +caused this striking resemblance." + +"Ay, it may be, sir. I coudna say." + +"I have known a lady, John, who was delivered of a blackamoor +child, merely from the circumstance of having got a start by the +sudden entrance of her negro servant, and not being able to forget +him for several hours." + +"It may be, sir; but I ken this--an' I had been the laird, I wadna +hae ta'en that story in." + +"So, then, John, you positively think, from a casual likeness, that +this boy is my son?" + +"Man's thoughts are vanity, sir; they come unasked, an' gang +away without a dismissal, an' he canna' help them. I'm neither +gaun to say that I think he's your son, nor that I think he's no your +son: sae ye needna pose me nae mair about it." + +"Hear then my determination, John. If you do not promise to me, +in faith and honour, that you never will say, or insinuate such a +thing again in your life, as that that boy is my natural son, I will +take the keys of the church from you, and dismiss you from my +service." + +John pulled out the keys, and dashed them on the gravel at the +reverend minister's feet. "There are the keys o' your kirk, sir! I +hae never had muckle mense o' them sin' ye entered the door o't. I +hae carried them this three and thretty year, but they hae aye been +like to burn a hole i' my pouch sin' ever they were turned for your +admittance. Tak them again, an' gie them to wha you will, and +muckle gude may he get o' them. Auld John may dee a beggar in +a hay barn, or at the back of a dike, but he sall aye be master o' +his ain thoughts an' gie them vent or no, as he likes." + +He left the manse that day, and I rejoiced in the riddance; for I +disdained to be kept so much under by one who was in bond of +iniquity, and of whom there seemed no hope, as he rejoiced in his +frowardness, and refused to submit to that faithful teacher, his +master. + +It was about this time that my reverend father preached a sermon, +one sentence of which affected me most disagreeably. It was to +the purport that every unrepented sin was productive of a new sin +with each breath that a man drew; and every one of these new +sins added to the catalogue in the same manner. I was utterly +confounded at the multitude of my transgressions; for I was +sensible that there were great numbers of sins of which I had +never been able thoroughly to repent, and these momentary ones, +by moderate calculation, had, I saw. long ago, amounted to a +hundred and fifty thousand in the minute, and I saw no end to the +series of repentances to which I had subjected myself. A life-time +was nothing to enable me to accomplish the sum, and then being, +for anything I was certain of, in my state of nature, and the grace +of repentance withheld from me--what was I to do, or what was +to become of me? In the meantime, I went on sinning without +measure; but I was still more troubled about the multitude than +the magnitude of my transgressions, and the small minute ones +puzzled me more than those that were more heinous, as the latter +had generally some good effects in the way of punishing wicked +men, froward boys, and deceitful women; and I rejoiced, even +then in my early youth, at being used as a scourge in the hand of +the Lord; another Jehu, a Cyrus, or a Nebuchadnezzar. + +On the whole, I remember that I got into great confusion relating +to my sins and repentances, and knew neither where to begin nor +how to proceed, and often had great fears that I was wholly +without Christ, and that I would find God a consuming fire to me. +I could not help running into new sins continually; but then I was +mercifully dealt with, for I was often made to repent of them +most heartily, by reason of bodily chastisements received on +these delinquencies being discovered. I was particularly prone to +lying, and I cannot but admire the mercy that has freely forgiven +me all these juvenile sins. Now that I know them all to be blotted +out, and that I am an accepted person, I may the more freely +confess them: the truth is, that one lie always paved the way for +another, from hour to hour, from day to day, and from year to +year; so that I found myself constantly involved in a labyrinth of +deceit, from which it was impossible to extricate myself. If I +knew a person to be a godly one, I could almost have kissed his +feet; but, against the carnal portion of mankind, I set my face +continually. I esteemed the true ministers of the gospel; but the +prelatic party, and the preachers up of good works I abhorred, and +to this hour I account them the worst and most heinous of all +transgressors. + +There was only one boy at Mr. Witch's class who kept always the +upper hand of me in every part of education. I strove against him +from year to year, but it was all in vain; for he was a very wicked +boy, and I was convinced he had dealings with the Devil. Indeed, +it was believed all over the country that his mother was a witch; +and I was at length convinced, that it was no human ingenuity +that beat me with so much ease in the Latin, after I had often sat +up a whole night with my reverend father, studying my lesson in +all its bearings. I often read as well and sometimes better than he; +but, the moment Mr. Wilson began to examine us, my opponent +popped up above me. I determined (as I knew him for a wicked +person, and one of the Devil's handfasted children) to be +revenged on him, and to humble him by some means or other. +Accordingly I lost no opportunity of setting the master against +him, and succeeded several times in getting him severely beaten +for faults of which he was innocent. I can hardly describe the joy +that it gave to my heart to see a wicked creature suffering, for, +though he deserved it not for one thing, he richly deserved it for +others. This may be by some people accounted a great sin in me; +but I deny it, for I did it as a duty, and what a man or boy does for +the right will never be put into the sum of his transgressions. + +This boy, whose name was M'Gill, was, at all his leisure hours, +engaged in drawing profane pictures of beasts, men, women, +houses, and trees, and, in short, of all things that his eye +encountered. These profane things the master often smiled at, and +admired; therefore I began privately to try my hand likewise. I +had scarcely tried above once to draw the figure of a man, ere I +conceived that I had hit the very features of Mr. Wilson. They +were so particular that they could not be easily mistaken, and I +was so tickled and pleased with the droll likeness that I had +drawn that I laughed immoderately at it. I tried no other figure +but this; and I tried it in every situation in which a man and a +schoolmaster could be placed. I often wrought for hours together +at this likeness, nor was it long before I made myself so much +master of the outline that I could have drawn it in any situation +whatever, almost off hand. I then took M'Gill's account book of +algebra home with me, and at my leisure put down a number +of gross caricatures of Mr. Wilson here and there, several of them +in situations notoriously ludicrous. I waited the discovery of this +treasure with great impatience; but the book, chancing to be one +that M'Gill was not using, I saw it might be long enough before +I enjoyed the consummation of my grand scheme: therefore, +with all the ingenuity I was master of, I brought it before our +dominie's eye. But never shall I forget the rage that gleamed +in the tyrant's phiz! I was actually terrified to look at him, and +trembled at his voice. M'Gill was called upon, and examined +relating to the obnoxious figures. He denied flatly that any of +them were of his doing. But the master inquiring at him whose +they were, he could not tell, but affirmed it to be some trick. Mr. +Wilson at one time began, as I thought, to hesitate; but the +evidence was so strong against M'Gill that at length his solemn +asseverations of innocence only proved an aggravation of his +crime. There was not one in the school who had ever been known +to draw a figure but himself, and on him fell the whole weight of +the tyrant's vengeance. It was dreadful; and I was once in hopes +that he would not leave life in the culprit. He, however, left the +school for several months, refusing to return to be subjected to +punishment for the faults of others, and I stood king of the class. + +Matters, were at last made up between M'Gill's parents and the +schoolmaster, but by that time I had got the start of him, and +never in my life did I exert myself so much as to keep the +mastery. It was in vain; the powers of enchantment prevailed, and +I was again turned down with the tear in my eye. I could think of +no amends but one, and, being driven to desperation, I put it in +practice. I told a lie of him. I came boldly up to the master, and +told him that M'Gill had in my hearing cursed him in a most +shocking manner, and called him vile names. He called M'Gill, +and charged him with the crime, and the proud young coxcomb +was so stunned at the atrocity of the charge that his face grew as +red as crimson, and the words stuck in his throat as he feebly +denied it. His guilt was manifest, and he was again flogged most +nobly and dismissed the school for ever in disgrace, as a most +incorrigible vagabond. + +This was a great victory gained, and I rejoiced and exulted +exceedingly in it. It had, however, very nigh cost me my life; for +I not long thereafter I encountered M'Gill in the fields, on which +he came up and challenged me for a liar, daring me to fight him. I +refused, and said that I looked on him as quite below my notice; +but he would not quit me, and finally told me that he should +either lick me, or I should lick him, as he had no other means of +being revenged on such a scoundrel. I tried to intimidate him, but +it would not do; and I believe I would have given all that I had in +the world to be quit of him. He at length went so far as first to +kick me, and then strike me on the face; and, being both older and +stronger than he, I thought it scarcely became me to take such +insults patiently. I was, nevertheless, well aware that the devilish +powers of his mother would finally prevail; and either the dread +of this, or the inward consciousness of having wronged him, +certainly unnerved my arm, for I fought wretchedly, and was +soon wholly overcome. I was so sore defeated that I kneeled and +was going to beg his pardon; but another thought struck me +momentarily, and I threw myself on my face, and inwardly +begged aid from heaven; at the same time I felt as if assured that +my prayer was heard, and would be answered. While I was in this +humble attitude, the villain kicked me with his foot and cursed +me; and I, being newly encouraged, arose and encountered him +once more. We had not fought long at this second turn before I +saw a man hastening towards us; on which I uttered a shout of +joy, and laid on valiantly; but my very next look assured me that +the man was old John Barnet, whom I had likewise wronged all +that was in my power, and between these two wicked persons I +expected anything but justice. My arm was again enfeebled, and +that of my adversary prevailed. I was knocked down and mauled +most grievously, and, while the ruffian was kicking and cuffing +me at his will and pleasure, up came old John Barnet, breathless +with running, and, at one blow with his open hand, levelled my +opponent with the earth. "Tak ye that, maister!" said John, "to +learn ye better breeding. Hout awa, man! An ye will fight, fight +fair. Gude sauf us, ir ye a gentleman's brood, that ye will kick an' +cuff a lad when he's down?" + +When I heard this kind and unexpected interference, I began once +more to value myself on my courage, and, springing up, I made at +my adversary; but John, without saying a word, bit his lip, and +seizing me by the neck threw me down. M'Gill begged of him to +stand and see fair play, and suffer us to finish the battle; for, +added he. "he is a liar, and a scoundrel, and deserves ten times +more than I can give him." + +"I ken he's a' that ye say, an' mair, my man," quoth John. "But am +I sure that ye're no as bad, an' waur? It says nae muckle for ony o' +ye to be tearing like tikes at one anither here." + +John cocked his cudgel and stood between us, threatening to +knock the one dead who first offered to lift his hand against the +other; but, perceiving no disposition in any of us to separate, he +drove me home before him like a bullock, and keeping close +guard behind me, lest M'Gill had followed. I felt greatly indebted +to John, yet I complained of his interference to my mother, and +the old officious sinner got no thanks for his pains. + +As I am writing only from recollection, so I remember of nothing +farther in these early days, in the least worthy of being recorded. +That I was a great, a transcendent sinner, I confess. But still I had +hopes of forgiveness, because I never sinned from principle, but +accident; and then I always tried to repent of these sins by the +slump, for individually it was impossible; and, though not always +successful in my endeavours, I could not help that, the grace of +repentance being withheld from me, I regarded myself as in no +degree accountable for the failure. Moreover, there were many of +the most deadly sins into which I never fell, for I dreaded those +mentioned in the Revelations as excluding sins, so that I guarded +against them continually. In particular, I brought myself to +despise, if not to abhor, the beauty of women, looking on it as the +greatest snare to which mankind was subjected, and though +young men and maidens, and even old women (my mother +among the rest), taxed me with being an unnatural wretch, I +gloried in my acquisition; and, to this day, am thankful for having +escaped the most dangerous of all snares. + +I kept myself also free of the sins of idolatry and misbelief, both +of a deadly nature; and, upon the whole, I think I had not then +broken, that is, absolutely broken, above four out of the ten +commandments; but, for all that, I had more sense than to regard +either my good works, or my evil deeds, as in the smallest degree +influencing the eternal decrees of God concerning me, either with +regard to my acceptance or reprobation. I depended entirely on +the bounty of free grace, holding all the righteousness of man as +filthy rags, and believing in the momentous and magnificent truth +that, the more heavily loaden with transgressions, the more +welcome was the believer at the throne of grace. And I have +reason to believe that it was this dependence and this belief that at +last ensured my acceptance there. + +I come now to the most important period of my existence--the +period that has modelled my character, and influenced every +action of my life--without which, this detail of my actions would +have been as a tale that hath been told--a monotonous farrago--an +uninteresting harangue--in short, a thing of nothing. Whereas, lo! +it must now be a relation of great and terrible actions, done in the +might, and by the commission of heaven. Amen. + +Like the sinful king of Israel, I had been walking softly before the +Lord for a season. I had been humbled for my transgressions, and, +as far as I recollect, sorry on account of their numbers and +heinousness. My reverend father had been, moreover, examining +me every day regarding the state of my soul, and my answers +sometimes appeared to give him satisfaction, and sometimes not. +As for my mother, she would harp on the subject of my faith for +ever; yet, though I knew her to be a Christian, I confess that I +always despised her motley instructions, nor had I any great +regard for her person. If this was a crime in me, I never could +help it. I confess it freely, and believe it was a judgment from +heaven inflicted on her for some sin of former days, and that I +had no power to have acted otherwise towards her than I did. + +In this frame of mind was I when my reverend father one +morning arose from his seat, and, meeting me as I entered the +room, he embraced me, and welcomed me into the community of +the just upon earth. I was struck speechless, and could make no +answer save by looks of surprise. My mother also came to me, +kissed, and wept over me; and, after showering unnumbered +blessings on my head, she also welcomed me into the society of +the just made perfect. Then each of them took me by a hand, and +my reverend father explained to me how he had wrestled with +God, as the patriarch of old had done, not for a night, but for days +and years, and that in bitterness and anguish of spirit, on my +account; but, that he had at last prevailed, and had now gained the +long and earnestly desired assurance of my acceptance with the +Almighty, in and through the merits and sufferings of his Son. +That I was now a justified person, adopted among the number of +God's children--my name written in the Lamb's book of life, and +that no by-past transgression, nor any future act of my own, or of +other men, could be instrumental in altering the decree. "All the +powers of darkness," added he, "shall never be able to pluck you +again out of your Redeemer's hand. And now, my son, be strong +and steadfast in the truth. Set your face against sin, and sinful +men, and resist even to blood, as many of the faithful of this land +have done, and your reward shall be double. I am assured of your +acceptance by the word and spirit of Him who cannot err, and +your sanctification and repentance unto life will follow in due +course. Rejoice and be thankful, for you are plucked as a brand +out of the burning, and now your redemption is sealed and sure." + +I wept for joy to be thus assured of my freedom from all sin, and +of the impossibility of my ever again falling away from my new +state. I bounded away into the fields and the woods, to pour out +my spirit in prayer before the Almighty for his kindness to me: +my whole frame seemed to be renewed; every nerve was buoyant +with new life; I felt as if I could have flown in the air, or leaped +over the tops of the trees. An exaltation of spirit lifted me, as it +were, far above the earth and the sinful creatures crawling on its +surface; and I deemed myself as an eagle among the children of +men, soaring on high, and looking down with pity and contempt +on the grovelling creatures below. + +As I thus wended my way, I beheld a young man of a mysterious +appearance coming towards me. I tried to shun him, being bent +on my own contemplations; but he cast himself in my way, so +that I could not well avoid him; and, more than that, I felt a sort +of invisible power that drew me towards him, something like the +force of enchantment, which I could not resist. As we approached +each other, our eyes met and I can never describe the strange +sensations that thrilled through my whole frame at that +impressive moment; a moment to me fraught with the most +tremendous consequences; the beginning of a series of adventures +which has puzzled myself, and will puzzle the world when I am +no more in it. That time will now soon arrive, sooner than anyone +can devise who knows not the tumult of my thoughts and the +labour of my spirit; and when it hath come and passed over, when +my flesh and my bones are decayed, and my soul has passed to its +everlasting home, then shall the sons of men ponder on the events +of my life; wonder and tremble, and tremble and wonder how +such things should be. + +That strange youth and I approached each other in silence, and +slowly, with our eyes fixed on each other's eyes. We approached +till not more than a yard intervened between us, and then stood +still and gazed, measuring each other from head to foot. What +was my astonishment on perceiving that he was the same being as +myself! The clothes were the same to the smallest item. The form +was the same; the apparent age; the colour of the hair; the eyes; +and, as far as recollection could serve me from viewing my own +features in a glass, the features too were the very same. I +conceived at first that I saw a vision, and that my guardian angel +had appeared to me at this important era of my life; but this +singular being read my thoughts in my looks, anticipating the +very words that I was going to utter. + +"You think I am your brother," said he; or that I am your second +self. I am indeed your brother, not according to the flesh, but in +my belief of the same truths, and my assurance in the same mode +of redemption, than which I hold nothing so great or so glorious +on earth." + +"Then you are an associate well adapted to my present state," said +I. "For this time is a time of great rejoicing in spirit to me. I am +on my way to return thanks to the Most High for my redemption +from the bonds of sin and misery. If you will join with me heart +and hand in youthful thanksgiving, then shall we two go and +worship together; but, if not, go your way, and I shall go mine." + +"Ah, you little know with how much pleasure I will accompany +you, and join with you in your elevated devotions," said he +fervently. "Your state is a state to be envied indeed; but I have +been advised of it, and am come to be a humble disciple of yours; +to be initiated into the true way of salvation by conversing with +you, and perhaps of being assisted by your prayers." + +My spiritual pride being greatly elevated by this address, I began +to assume the preceptor, and questioned this extraordinary youth +with regard to his religious principles, telling him plainly, if he +was one who expected acceptance with God at all, on account of +good works, that I would hold no communion with him. He +renounced these at once, with the greatest vehemence, and +declared his acquiescence in my faith. I asked if he believed in +the eternal and irrevocable decrees of God, regarding the +salvation and condemnation of all mankind? He answered that he +did so: aye, what would signify all things else that he believed, if +he did not believe in that? We then went on to commune about all +our points of belief; and in everything that I suggested he +acquiesced, and, as I thought that day, often carried them to +extremes, so that I had a secret dread he was advancing +blasphemies. He had such a way with him, and paid such a +deference to all my opinions, that I was quite captivated, and, at +the same time, I stood in a sort of awe of him, which I could not +account for, and several times was seized with an involuntary +inclination to escape from his presence by making a sudden +retreat. But he seemed constantly to anticipate my thoughts, and +was sure to divert my purpose by some turn in the conversation +that particularly interested me. He took care to dwell much on the +theme of the impossibility of those ever falling away who were +once accepted and received into covenant with God, for he +seemed to know that in that confidence, and that trust, my whole +hopes were centred. + +We moved about from one place to another, until the day was +wholly spent. My mind had all the while been kept in a state of +agitation resembling the motion of a whirlpool, and, when we +came to separate, I then discovered that the purpose for which I +had sought the fields had been neglected, and that I had been +diverted from the worship of God by attending to the quibbles +and dogmas of this singular and unaccountable being, who +seemed to have more knowledge and information than all the +persons I had ever known put together. + +We parted with expressions of mutual regret, and when I left him +I felt a deliverance, but at the same time a certain consciousness +that I was not thus to get free of him, but that he was like to be an +acquaintance that was to stick to me for good or for evil. I was +astonished at his acuteness and knowledge about everything; but, +as for his likeness to me, that was quite unaccountable. He was +the same person in every respect, but yet he was not always so; +for I observed several times, when we were speaking of certain +divines and their tenets, that his face assumed something of the +appearance of theirs; and it struck me that, by setting his features +to the mould of other people's, he entered at once into their +conceptions and feelings. I had been greatly flattered, and greatly +interested by his conversation; whether I had been the better for it +or the worse, I could not tell. I had been diverted from returning +thanks to my gracious Maker for his great kindness to me, and came +home as I went away, but not with the same buoyancy and lightness of +heart. Well may I remember the day in which I was first received into +the number, and made an heir to all the privileges of the children +of God, and on which I first met this mysterious associate, who +from that day forth contrived to wind himself into all my affairs, +both spiritual and temporal, to this day on which I am writing the +account of it. It was on the 25th day of March, 1704, when I had +just entered the eighteenth year of my age. Whether it behoves +me to bless God for the events of that day, or to deplore them, has +been hid from my discernment, though I have inquired into it +with fear and trembling; and I have now lost all hopes of ever +discovering the true import of these events until that day when +my accounts are to make up and reckon for in another world. + +When I came home, I went straight into the parlour, where my +mother was sitting by herself. She started to her feet, and uttered +a smothered scream. "What ails you, Robert?" cried she. "My +dear son, what is the matter with you?" + +"Do you see anything the matter with me?" said I. "It appears that +the ailment is with yourself and either in your crazed head or your +dim eyes, for there is nothing the matter with me." + +"Ah, Robert, you are ill!" cried she. "You are very ill, my dear +boy; you are quite changed; your very voice and manner are +changed. Ah, Jane, haste you up to the study, and tell Mr. +Wringhim to come here on the instant and speak to Robert." + +"I beseech you, woman, to restrain yourself," said I. "If you suffer +your frenzy to run away with your judgment in this manner, I will +leave the house. What do you mean? I tell you, there is nothing +ails me: I never was better." + +She screamed, and ran between me and the door, to bar my +retreat: in the meantime my reverend father entered, and I have +not forgot how he gazed, through his glasses, first at my mother, +and then at me. I imagined that his eyes burnt like candles, and +was afraid of him, which I suppose made my looks more unstable +than they would otherwise have been. + +"What is all this for?" said he. "Mistress! Robert! What is the +matter here?" + +"Oh, sir, our boy!" cried my mother; "our dear boy, Mr. +Wringhim! Look at him, and speak to him: he is either dying or +translated, sir!" + +He looked at me with a countenance of great alarm; mumbling +some sentences to himself, and then taking me by the arm, as if to +feel my pulse, he said, with a faltering voice: "Something has +indeed befallen you, either in body or mind, boy, for you are +transformed, since the morning, that I could not have known you +for the same person. Have you met with any accident?" + +"No." + +"Have you seen anything out of the ordinary course of nature?" + +"No." + +"Then, Satan, I fear, has been busy with you, tempting you in no +ordinary degree at this momentous crisis of your life?" + +My mind turned on my associate for the day, and the idea that he +might be an agent of the Devil had such an effect on me that I +could make no answer. + +"I see how it is," said he; "you are troubled in spirit, and I have no +doubt that the enemy of our salvation has been busy with you. +Tell me this, has he overcome you, or has he not?" + +"He has not, my dear father," said I. "in the strength of the Lord, I +hope I have withstood him. But indeed, if he has been busy with +me, I knew it not. I have been conversant this day with one +stranger only, whom I took rather for an angel of light." + +"It is one of the Devil's most profound wiles to appear like one," +said my mother. + +"Woman, hold thy peace!" said my reverend father. "Thou +pretendest to teach what thou knowest not. Tell me this, boy: did +this stranger, with whom you met, adhere to the religious +principles in which I have educated you?" + +"Yes, to every one of them in their fullest latitude," said I. + +"Then he was no agent of the Wicked One with whom you held +converse," said he: "for that is the doctrine that was made to +overturn the principalities and powers, the might and dominion of +the kingdom of darkness. Let us pray." + +After spending about a quarter of an hour in solemn and sublime +thanksgiving, this saintly man and minister of Christ Jesus, gave +out that the day following should be kept by the family as a day +of solemn thanksgiving, and spent in prayer and praise, on +account of the calling and election of one of its members; or +rather for the election of that individual being revealed on earth, +as well as confirmed in Heaven. + +The next day was with me a day of holy exultation. It was begun +by my reverend father laying his hands upon my head and +blessing me, and then dedicating me to the Lord in the most +awful and impressive manner. It was in no common way that he +exercised this profound rite, for it was done with all the zeal and +enthusiasm of a devotee to the true cause, and a champion on the +side he had espoused. He used these remarkable words, which I +have still treasured up in my heart: "I give him unto Thee only, to +Thee wholly, and to Thee for ever. I dedicate him unto Thee, +soul, body, and spirit. Not as the wicked of this world, or the +hirelings of a Church profanely called by Thy name, do I dedicate +this Thy servant to Thee: Not in words and form, learned by rote, +and dictated by the limbs of Antichrist, but, Lord, I give him into +Thy hand, as a captain putteth a sword into the hand of his +sovereign, wherewith to lay waste his enemies. May he be a two- +edged weapon in Thy hand and a spear coming out of Thy mouth, +to destroy, and overcome, and pass over; and may the enemies of +Thy Church fall down before him, and be as dung to fat the +land!" + +From the moment, I conceived it decreed, not that I should be a +minister of the gospel, but a champion of it, to cut off the enemies +of the Lord from the face of the earth; and I rejoiced in the +commission, finding it more congenial to my nature to be cutting +sinners off with the sword than to be haranguing them from the +pulpit, striving to produce an effect which God, by his act of +absolute predestination, had for ever rendered impracticable. The +more I pondered on these things the more I saw of the folly and +inconsistency of ministers in spending their lives striving and +remonstrating with sinners in order to induce them to do that +which they had it not in their power to do. Seeing that God had +from all eternity decided the fate of every individual that was to +be born of woman, how vain was it in man to endeavour to save +those whom their Maker had, by an unchangeable decree, +doomed to destruction. I could not disbelieve the doctrine which +the best of men had taught me, and towards which he made the +whole of the Scriptures to bear, and yet it made the economy of +the Christian world appear to me as an absolute contradiction. +How much more wise would it be, thought I, to begin and cut +sinners off with the sword! For till that is effected, the saints can +never inherit the earth in peace. Should I be honoured as an +instrument to begin this great work of purification, I should +rejoice in it. But, then, where had I the means, or under what +direction was I to begin? There was one thing clear, I was now +the Lord's and it behoved me to bestir myself in His service. Oh +that I had an host at my command, then would I be as a devouring +fire among the workers of iniquity! + +Full of these great ideas, I hurried through the city, and sought +again the private path through the field and wood of Finnieston, +in which my reverend preceptor had the privilege of walking for +study, and to which he had a key that was always at my +command. Near one of the stiles, I perceived a young man sitting +in a devout posture, reading a Bible. He rose, lifted his hat, and +made an obeisance to me, which I returned and walked on. I had +not well crossed the stile till it struck me I knew the face of the +youth and that he was some intimate acquaintance, to whom I +ought to have spoken. I walked on, and returned, and walked on +again, trying to recollect who he was; but for my life I could not. +There was, however, a fascination in his look and manner that +drew me back towards him in spite of myself, and I resolved to +go to him, if it were merely to speak and see who he was. + +I came up to him and addressed him, but he was so intent on his +book that, though I spoke, he lifted not his eyes. I looked on the +book also, and still it seemed a Bible, having columns, chapters, +and verses; but it was in a language of which I was wholly +ignorant, and all intersected with red lines and verses. A sensation +resembling a stroke of electricity came over me, on first casting +my eyes on that mysterious book, and I stood motionless. He +looked up, smiled, closed his book, and put it in his bosom. "You +seem strangely affected, dear sir, by looking at my book," said he +mildly. + +"In the name of God, what book is that?" said I. "Is it a Bible?" + +"It is my Bible, sir," said he, "but I will cease reading it, for I am +glad to see you. Pray, is not this a day for holy festivity with +you?" + +I stared in his face, but made no answer, for my senses were +bewildered. + +"Do you not know me?" said he. "You appear to be somehow at a +loss. Had not you and I some sweet communion and fellowship +yesterday?" + +"I beg your pardon, sir," said I. "But, surely, if you are the young +gentleman with whom I spent the hours yesterday, you have the +chameleon art of changing your appearance; I never could have +recognized you." + +"My countenance changes with my studies and sensations," said +he. It is a natural peculiarity in me, over which I have not full +control. If I contemplate a man's features seriously, mine own +gradually assume the very same appearance and character. And +what is more, by contemplating a face minutely, I not only attain +the same likeness but, with the likeness, I attain the very same +ideas as well as the same mode of arranging them, so that, you +see, by looking at a person attentively, I by degrees assume his +likeness, and by assuming his likeness I attain to the possession +of his most secret thoughts. This, I say, is a peculiarity in my +nature, a gift of the God that made me; but, whether or not given +me for a blessing, He knows Himself, and so do I. At all events, I +have this privilege, I can never be mistaken of a character in +whom I am interested." + +"It is a rare qualification," replied I, "and I would give worlds to +possess it. Then, it appears that it is needless to dissemble with +you, since you can at any time extract our most secret thoughts +from our bosoms. You already know my natural character?" + +"Yes," said he, "and it is that which attaches me to you. By +assuming your likeness yesterday, I became acquainted with your +character, and was no less astonished at the profundity and range +of your thoughts than at the heroic magnanimity with which these +were combined. And now, in addition to these, you are dedicated +to the great work of the Lord; for which reasons I have resolved +to attach myself as closely to you as possible, and to render you +all the service of which my poor abilities are capable." + +I confess that I was greatly flattered by these compliments paid to +my abilities by a youth of such superior qualifications; by one +who, with a modesty and affability rare at his age, combined a +height of genius and knowledge almost above human +comprehension. Nevertheless, I began to assume a certain +superiority of demeanour towards him, as judging it incumbent +on me to do so, in order to keep up his idea of my exalted +character. We conversed again till the day was near a close; and +the things that he strove most to inculcate on my mind were the +infallibility of the elect, and the preordination of all things that +come to pass. I pretended to controvert the first of these, for the +purpose of showing him the extent of my argumentative powers, +and said that "indubitably there were degrees of sinning which +would induce the Almighty to throw off the very elect." But +behold my hitherto humble and modest companion took up the +argument with such warmth that he put me not only to silence but +to absolute shame. + +"Why, sir," said he, "by vending such an insinuation, you put +discredit on the great atonement, in which you trust. Is there not +enough of merit in the blood of Jesus to save thousands of +worlds, if it was for these worlds that he died? Now, when you +know, as you do (and as every one of the elect may know of +himself) that this Saviour died for you, namely and particularly, +dare you say that there is not enough of merit in His great +atonement to annihilate all your sins, let them be as heinous and +atrocious as they may? And, moreover, do you not acknowledge +that God hath pre-ordained and decreed whatsoever comes to +pass? Then, how is it that you should deem it in your power to +eschew one action of your life, whether good or evil? Depend on +it, the advice of the great preacher is genuine: 'What thine hand +findeth to do, do it with all thy might, for none of us knows what +a day may bring forth.' That is, none of us knows what is pre- +ordained, but whatever it is pre-ordained we must do, and none of +these things will be laid to our charge." + +I could hardly believe that these sayings were genuine or +orthodox; but I soon felt that, instead of being a humble disciple +of mine, this new acquaintance was to be my guide and director, +and all under the humble guise of one stooping at my feet to learn +the right. He said that he saw I was ordained to perform some +great action for the cause of Jesus and His Church, and he +earnestly coveted being a partaker with me; but he besought of +me never to think it possible for me to fall from the truth, or the +favour of Him who had chosen me, else that misbelief would +baulk every good work to which I set my face. + +There was something so flattering in all this that I could not resist +it. Still, when he took leave of me, I felt it as a great relief; and +yet, before the morrow, I wearied and was impatient to see him +again. We carried on our fellowship from day to day, and all the +while I knew not who he was, and still my mother and reverend +father kept insisting that I was an altered youth, changed in my +appearance, my manners, and my whole conduct; yet something +always prevented me from telling them more about my new +acquaintance than I had done on the first day we met. I rejoiced in +him, was proud of him, and soon could not live without him; yet, +though resolved every day to disclose the whole story of my +connection with him, I had it not in my power. Something always +prevented me, till at length I thought no more of it, but resolved +to enjoy his fascinating company in private, and by all means to +keep my own with him. The resolution was vain: I set a bold face +to it, but my powers were inadequate to the task; my adherent, +with all the suavity imaginable, was sure to carry his point. I +sometimes fumed, and sometimes shed tears at being obliged to +yield to proposals against which I had at first felt every reasoning +power of my soul rise in opposition; but for all that he never +faded in carrying conviction along with him in effect, for he +either forced me to acquiesce in his measures, and assent to the +truth of his positions, or he put me so completely down that I had +not a word left to advance against them. + +After weeks, and I may say months of intimacy, I observed, +somewhat to my amazement, that we had never once prayed +together; and, more than that, that he had constantly led my +attentions away from that duty, causing me to neglect it wholly. I +thought this a bad mark of a man seemingly so much set on +inculcating certain important points of religion, and resolved next +day to put him to the test, and request him to perform that sacred +duty in name of us both. He objected boldly; saying there were +very few people indeed with whom he could join in prayer, and +he made a point of never doing it, as he was sure they were to ask +many things of which he disapproved, and that, if he were to +officiate himself, he was as certain to allude to many things that +came not within the range of their faith. He disapproved of prayer +altogether in the manner it was generally gone about, he said. +Man made it merely a selfish concern, and was constantly +employed asking, asking, for everything. Whereas it became all +God's creatures to be content with their lot, and only to kneel +before him in order to thank him for such benefits as he saw meet +to bestow. In short, he argued with such energy that before we +parted I acquiesced, as usual, in his position, and never +mentioned prayer to him any more. + +Having been so frequently seen in his company, several people +happened to mention the circumstance to my mother and +reverend father; but at the same time had all described him +differently. At length, they began to examine me with respect to +the company I kept, as I absented myself from home day after +day. I told them I kept company only with one young gentleman, +whose whole manner of thinking on religious subjects I found so +congenial with my own that I could not live out of his society. +My mother began to lay down some of her old hackneyed rules of +faith, but I turned from hearing her with disgust; for, after the +energy of my new friend's reasoning, hers appeared so tame I +could not endure it. And I confess with shame that my reverend +preceptor's religious dissertations began, about this time, to lose +their relish very much, and by degrees became exceedingly +tiresome to my ear. They were so inferior, in strength and +sublimity, to the most common observations of my young friend +that in drawing a comparison the former appeared as nothing. He, +however, examined me about many things relating to my +companion, in all of which I satisfied him, save in one: I could +neither tell him who my friend was, what was his name, nor of +whom he was descended; and I wondered at myself how I had +never once adverted to such a thing for all the time we had been +intimate. + +I inquired the next day what his name was; as I said I was often at +a loss for it, when talking with him. He replied that there was no +occasion for any one friend ever naming another, when their +society was held in private, as ours was; for his part he had never +once named me since we first met, and never intended to do so, +unless by my own request. "But if you cannot converse without +naming me, you may call me Gil for the present," added he, "and +if I think proper to take another name at any future period, it shall +be with your approbation." + +"Gil!" said I. "Have you no name but Gil? Or which of your +names is it? Your Christian or surname?" + +"Oh, you must have a surname too, must you!" replied he. "Very +well, you may call me Gil-Martin. It is not my Christian name; +but it is a name which may serve your turn." + +"This is very strange!" said I. "Are you ashamed of your parents +that you refuse to give your real name?" + +"I have no parents save one, whom I do not acknowledge," said +he proudly. "Therefore, pray drop that subject, for it is a +disagreeable one. I am a being of a very peculiar temper, for, +though I have servants and subjects more than I can number, yet, +to gratify a certain whim, I have left them, and retired to this city, +and, for all the society it contains, you see I have attached myself +only to you. This is a secret, and I tell you only in friendship, +therefore pray let it remain one, and say not another word about +the matter." + +I assented, and said no more concerning it; for it instantly struck +me that this was no other than the Czar Peter of Russia, having +heard that he had been travelling through Europe in disguise, and +I cannot say that I had not thenceforward great and mighty hopes +of high preferment, as a defender and avenger of the oppressed +Christian Church, under the influence of this great potentate. He +had hinted as much already, as that it was more honourable, and +of more avail to put down the wicked with the sword than try to +reform them, and I thought myself quite justified in supposing +that he intended me for some great employment, that he had thus +selected me for his companion out of all the rest in Scotland, and +even pretended to learn the great truths of religion from my +mouth. From that time I felt disposed to yield to such a great +prince's suggestions without hesitation. + +Nothing ever astonished me so much as the uncommon powers +with which he seemed invested. In our walk one day, we met with +a Mr. Blanchard, who was reckoned a worthy, pious divine, but +quite of the moral cast, who joined us; and we three walked on, +and rested together in the fields. My companion did not seem to +like him, but, nevertheless, regarded him frequently with deep +attention, and there were several times, while he seemed +contemplating him, and trying to find out his thoughts, that his +face became so like Mr. Blanchard's that it was impossible to +have distinguished the one from the other. The antipathy between +the two was mutual, and discovered itself quite palpably in a +short time. When my companion the prince was gone, Mr. +Blanchard asked me anent him, and I told him that he was a +stranger in the city, but a very uncommon and great personage. +Mr. Blanchard's answer to me was as follows: "I never saw +anybody I disliked so much in my life, Mr. Robert; and if it be +true that he is a stranger here, which I doubt, believe me he is +come for no good." + +"Do you not perceive what mighty powers of mind he is +possessed of?" said I, "and also how clear and unhesitating he is +on some of the most interesting points of divinity?" + +"It is for his great mental faculties that I dread him," said he. "It is +incalculable what evil such a person as he may do, if so disposed. +There is a sublimity in his ideas, with which there is to me a +mixture of terror; and, when he talks of religion, he does it as one +that rather dreads its truths than reverences them. He, indeed, +pretends great strictness of orthodoxy regarding some of the +points of doctrine embraced by the reformed church; but you do +not seem to perceive that both you and he are carrying these +points to a dangerous extremity. Religion is a sublime and +glorious thing, the bonds of society on earth, and the connector of +humanity with the Divine nature; but there is nothing so +dangerous to man as the wresting of any of its principles, or +forcing them beyond their due bounds: this is of all others the +readiest way to destruction. Neither is there anything so easily +done. There is not an error into which a man can fall which he +may not press Scripture into his service as proof of the probity of, +and though your boasted theologian shunned the full discussion +of the subject before me, while you pressed it, I can easily see +that both you and he are carrying your ideas of absolute +predestination, and its concomitant appendages, to an extent that +overthrows all religion and revelation together; or, at least, +jumbles them into a chaos, out of which human capacity can +never select what is good. Believe me, Mr. Robert, the less you +associate with that illustrious stranger the better, for it appears to +me that your creed and his carries damnation on the very front of +it." + +I was rather stunned at this; but pretended to smile with disdain, +and said it did not become youth to control age; and, as I knew +our principles differed fundamentally, it behoved us to drop the +subject. He, however, would not drop it, but took both my +principles and me fearfully to task, for Blanchard was an eloquent +and powerful-minded old man; and, before we parted, I believe I +promised to drop my new acquaintance, and was all but resolved +to do it. + +As well might I have laid my account with shunning the light of +day. He was constant to me as my shadow, and by degrees he +acquired such an ascendency over me that I never was happy out +of his company, nor greatly so in it. When I repeated to him all +that Mr. Blanchard had said, his countenance kindled with +indignation and rage; and then by degrees his eyes sunk inward, +his brow lowered, so that I was awed, and withdrew my eyes +from looking at him. A while afterwards as I was addressing him, +I chanced to look him again in the face, and the sight of him +made me start violently. He had made himself so like Mr. +Blanchard that I actually believed I had been addressing that +gentleman, and that I had done so in some absence of mind that I +could not account for. Instead of being amused at the quandary I +was in, he seemed offended: indeed, he never was truly amused +with anything. And he then asked me sullenly, if I conceived such +personages as he to have no other endowments than common +mortals? + +I said I never conceived that princes or potentates had any greater +share of endowments than other men, and frequently not so much. +He shook his head, and bade me think over the subject again; and +there was an end of it. I certainly felt every day the more disposed +to acknowledge such a superiority in him; and, from all that I +could gather, I had now no doubt that he was Peter of Russia. +Everything combined to warrant the supposition, and, of course, I +resolved to act in conformity with the discovery I had made. + +For several days the subject of Mr. Blanchard's doubts and +doctrines formed the theme of our discourse. My friend +deprecated them most devoutly; and then again he would deplore +them, and lament the great evil that such a man might do among +the human race. I joined with him in allowing the evil in its +fullest latitude; and, at length, after he thought he had fully +prepared my nature for such a trial of its powers and abilities, he +proposed calmly that we two should make away with Mr. +Blanchard. I was so shocked that my bosom became as it were a +void, and the beatings of my heart sounded loud and hollow in it; +my breath cut, and my tongue and palate became dry and +speechless. He mocked at my cowardice, and began a-reasoning +on the matter with such powerful eloquence that, before we +parted, I felt fully convinced that it was my bounden duty to slay +Mr. Blanchard; but my will was far, very far from consenting to +the deed. + +I spent the following night without sleep, or nearly so; and the +next morning, by the time the sun arose, I was again abroad, and +in the company of my illustrious friend. The same subject was +resumed, and again he reasoned to the following purport: That +supposing me placed at the head of any army of Christian +soldiers, all bent on putting down the enemies of the Church, +would I have any hesitation in destroying and rooting out these +enemies? None, surely. Well then, when I saw and was convinced +that here was an individual who was doing more detriment to the +Church of Christ on earth than tens of thousands of such warriors +were capable of doing, was it not my duty to cut him off, and +save the elect? "He who would be a champion in the cause of +Christ and His Church, my brave young friend," added he, "must +begin early, and no man can calculate to what an illustrious +eminence small beginnings may lead. If the man Blanchard is +worthy, he is only changing his situation for a better one; and, if +unworthy, it is better that one fall than that a thousand souls +perish. Let us be up and doing in our vocations. For me, my +resolution is taken; I have but one great aim in this world, and I +never for a moment lose sight of it." + +I was obliged to admit the force of his reasoning; for, though I +cannot from memory repeat his words, his eloquence was of that +overpowering nature that the subtilty of other men sunk before it; +and there is also little doubt that the assurance I had that these +words were spoken by a great potentate who could raise me to the +highest eminence (provided that I entered into his extensive and +decisive measures) assisted mightily in dispelling my youthful +scruples and qualms of conscience; and I thought moreover that, +having such a powerful back friend to support me, I hardly +needed to be afraid of the consequences. I consented! But begged +a little time to think of it. He said the less one thought of a duty +the better; and we parted. + +But the most singular instance of this wonderful man's power +over my mind was that he had as complete influence over me by +night as by day. All my dreams corresponded exactly with his +suggestions; and, when he was absent from me, still his +arguments sunk deeper in my heart than even when he was +present. I dreamed that night of a great triumph obtained, and, +though the whole scene was but dimly and confusedly defined in +my vision, yet the overthrow and death of Mr. Blanchard was the +first step by which I attained the eminent station I occupied. +Thus, by dreaming of the event by night, and discoursing of it by +day, it soon became so familiar to my mind that I almost +conceived it as done. It was resolved on: which was the first and +greatest victory gained; for there was no difficulty in finding +opportunities enow of cutting off a man who, every good day, +was to be found walking by himself in private grounds. I went +and heard him preach for two days, and in fact I held his tenets +scarcely short of blasphemy; they were such as I had never heard +before, and his congregation, which was numerous, were turning +up their ears and drinking in his doctrines with the utmost delight; +for Oh they suited their carnal natures and self-sufficiency to a +hair! He was actually holding it forth, as a fact, that "it was every +man's own blame if he was not saved!" What horrible +misconstruction! And then be was alleging, and trying to prove +from nature and reason, that no man ever was guilty of a sinful +action who might not have declined it had he so chosen! +"Wretched controvertist!" thought I to myself an hundred times, +"shall not the sword of the Lord be moved from its place of peace +for such presumptuous, absurd testimonies as these!" + +When I began to tell the prince about these false doctrines, to my +astonishment I found that he had been in the church himself, and +had every argument that the old divine had used verbatim; and he +remarked on them with great concern that these were not the +tenets that corresponded with his views in society, and that he had +agents in every city, and every land, exerting their powers to put +them down. I asked, with great simplicity: "Are all your subjects +Christians, prince?" + +"All my European subjects are, or deem themselves so," returned +he; "and they are the most faithful and true subjects I have." + +Who could doubt, after this, that he was the Czar of Russia? I +have nevertheless had reasons to doubt of his identity since that +period, and which of my conjectures is right I believe the God of +Heaven only knows, for I do not. I shall go on to write such +things as I remember, and, if anyone shall ever take the trouble to +read over these confessions, such a one will judge for himself. It +will be observed that, since ever I fell in with this extraordinary +person, I have written about him only, and I must continue to do +so to the end of this memoir, as I have performed no great or +interesting action in which he had not a principal share. + +He came to me one day and said: "We must not linger thus in +executing what we have resolved on. We have much before our +hands to perform for the benefit of mankind, both civil as well as +religious. Let us do what we have to do here, and then we must +wend our way to other cities, and perhaps to other countries. Mr. +Blanchard is to hold forth in the high church of Paisley on +Sunday next, on some particularly great occasion: this must be +defeated; he must not go there. As he will be busy arranging his +discourses, we may expect him to be walking by himself in +Finnieston Dell the greater part of Friday and Saturday. Let us go +and cut him off. What is the life of a man more than the life of a +lamb, or any guiltless animal? It is not half so much, especially +when we consider the immensity of the mischief this old fellow is +working among our fellow-creatures. Can there be any doubt that +it is the duty of one consecrated to God to cut off such a +mildew?" + +"I fear me, great sovereign," said I, "that your ideas of retribution +are too sanguine, and too arbitrary for the laws of this country. I +dispute not that your motives are great and high; but have you +debated the consequences, and settled the result?" + +"I have," returned be, "and hold myself amenable for the action to +the laws of God and of equity; as to the enactments of men, I +despise them. Fain would I see the weapon of the Lord of Hosts +begin the work of vengeance that awaits it to do!" + +I could not help thinking that I perceived a little derision of +countenance on his face as he said this, nevertheless I sunk dumb +before such a man, aroused myself to the task, seeing he would +not have it deferred. I approved of it in theory, but my spirit stood +aloof from the practice. I saw and was convinced that the elect of +God would be happier, and purer, were the wicked and +unbelievers all cut off from troubling and misleading them, but if +it had not been the instigations of this illustrious stranger, I +should never have presumed to begin so great a work myself. +Yet, though he often aroused my zeal to the highest pitch, still my +heart at times shrunk from the shedding of life-blood, and it was +only at the earnest and unceasing instigations of my enlightened +and voluntary patron that I at length put my hand to the +conclusive work. After I said all that I could say, and all had been +overborne (I remember my actions and words as well as it had +been yesterday), I turned round hesitatingly, and looked up to +Heaven for direction; but there was a dimness come over my eyes +that I could not see. The appearance was as if there had been a +veil drawn over me, so nigh that I put up my hand to feel it; and +then Gil-Martin (as this great sovereign was pleased to have +himself called) frowned, and asked me what I was grasping at. I +knew not what to say, but answered, with fear and shame: "I have +no weapons, not one; nor know I where any are to be found." + +"The God whom thou servest will provide these," said he, "if thou +provest worthy of the trust committed to thee." + +I looked again up into the cloudy veil that covered us and thought +I beheld golden weapons of every description let down in it, but +all with their points towards me. I kneeled, And was going to +stretch out my hand to take one, when my patron seized me, as I +thought, by the clothes, and dragged me away with as much ease +as I had been a lamb, saying, with a joyful and elevated voice: +"Come, my friend, let us depart: thou art dreaming--thou art +dreaming. Rouse up all the energies of thy exalted mind, for thou +art an highly favoured one; and doubt thou not that He whom +thou servest, will be ever at thy right and left hand, to direct and +assist thee." + +These words, but particularly the vision I had seen, of the golden +weapons descending out of Heaven, inflamed my zeal to that +height that I was as one beside himself; which my parents +perceived that night, and made some motions towards confining +me to my room. I joined in the family prayers, and then I +afterwards sung a psalm and prayed by myself; and I had good +reasons for believing that that small oblation of praise and prayer +was not turned to sin. But there are strange things, and +unaccountable agencies in nature: He only who dwells between +the Cherubim can unriddle them, and to Him the honour must +redound for ever. Amen. + +I felt greatly strengthened and encouraged that night, and the next +morning I ran to meet my companion, out of whose eye I had +now no life. He rejoiced at seeing me so forward in the great +work of reformation by blood, and said many things to raise my +hopes of future fame and glory; and then producing two pistols of +pure beaten gold, he held them out and proffered me the choice of +one, saying: "See what thy master hath provided thee!" I took one +of them eagerly, for I perceived at once that they were two of the +very weapons that were let down from Heaven in the cloudy veil, +the dim tapestry of the firmament; and I said to myself. "Surely +this is the will of the Lord." + +The little splendid and enchanting piece was so perfect, so +complete, and so ready for executing the will of the donor, that I +now longed to use it in his service. I loaded it with my own hand, +as Gil-Martin did the other, and we took our stations behind a +bush of hawthorn and bramble on the verge of the wood, and +almost close to the walk. My patron was so acute in all his +calculations that he never mistook an event. We had not taken our +stand above a minute and a half till old Mr. Blanchard appeared, +coming slowly on the path. When we saw this, we cowered down. +and leaned each of us a knee upon the ground, pointing the pistols +through the bush, with an aim so steady that it was impossible to +miss our victim. + +He came deliberately on, pausing at times so long that we +dreaded he was going to turn. Gil-Martin dreaded it, and I said I +did, but wished in my heart that he might. He, however, came +onward, and I will never forget the manner in which he came! +No, I don't believe I ever can forget it, either in the narrow +bounds of time or the ages of eternity! He was a broadly, +ill-shaped man, of a rude exterior, and a little bent with age; his +hands were clasped behind his back and below his coat, and he +walked with a slow swinging air that was very peculiar. When he +paused and looked abroad on nature, the act was highly +impressive: he seemed conscious of being all alone, and +conversant only with God and the elements of his creation. Never +was there such a picture of human inadvertency! a man +approaching step by step to the one that was to hurl him out of +one existence into another with as much ease and indifference as +the ox goeth to the stall. Hideous vision, wilt thou not be gone +from my mental sight! if not, let me bear with thee as I can! + +When he came straight opposite to the muzzles of our pieces, Gil- +Martin called out "Eh!" with a short quick sound. The old man, +without starting, turned his face and breast towards us, and +looked into the wood, but looked over our heads. + +"Now!" whispered my companion, and fired. But my hand +refused the office, for I was not at that moment sure about +becoming an assassin in the cause of Christ and His Church. I +thought I heard a sweet voice behind me, whispering to me to +beware, and I was going to look round, when my companion +exclaimed: "Coward, we are ruined!" + +I had no time for an alternative: Gil-Martin's ball had not taken +effect, which was altogether wonderful, as the old man's breast +was within a few yards of him. "Hilloa!" cried Blanchard, "what +is that for, you dog!" and with that he came forward to look over +the bush. I hesitated, as I said, and attempted to look behind me; +but there was no time: the next step discovered two assassins +lying in covert, waiting for blood. "Coward, we are ruined!" cried +my indignant friend; and that moment my piece was discharged. +The effect was as might have been expected: the old man first +stumbled to one side, and then fell on his back. We kept our +places, and I perceived my companion's eyes gleaming with an +unnatural joy. The wounded man raised himself from the bank to +a sitting posture, and I beheld his eyes swimming; he however +appeared sensible, for we heard him saying in a low and rattling +voice: "Alas, alas! whom have I offended, that they should have +been driven to an act like this! Come forth and shew yourselves, +that I may either forgive you before I die, or curse you in the +name of the Lord." He then fell a-groping with both hands on the +ground, as if feeling for something he had lost manifestly in the +agonies of death; and, with a solemn and interrupted prayer for +forgiveness, he breathed his last. + +I had become rigid as a statue, whereas my associate appeared to +be elevated above measure. "Arise, thou faint-hearted one, and let +us be going," said he. "Thou hast done well for once; but +wherefore hesitate in such a cause? This is but a small beginning +of so great a work as that of purging the Christian world. But the +first victim is a worthy one, and more of such lights must be +extinguished immediately." + +We touched not our victim, nor anything pertaining to him, for +fear of staining our hands with his blood; and the firing having +brought three men within view, who were hasting towards the +spot, my undaunted companion took both the pistols, and went +forward as with intent to meet them, bidding me shift for myself. +I ran off in a contrary direction, till I came to the foot of the +Pearman Sike, and then, running up the hollow of that, I appeared +on the top of the bank as if I had been another man brought in +view by hearing the shots in such a place. I had a full view of a +part of what passed, though not of all. I saw my companion going +straight to meet the men, apparently with a pistol in every hand, +waving in a careless manner. They seemed not quite clear of +meeting with him, and so he went straight on, and passed +between them. They looked after him, and came onwards; but, +when they came to the old man lying stretched in his blood, then +they turned and pursued my companion, though not so quickly as +they might have done; and I understand that from the first they +saw no more of him. + +Great was the confusion that day in Glasgow. The most popular +of all their preachers of morality was (what they called) murdered +in cold blood, and a strict and extensive search was made for the +assassin. Neither of the accomplices was found, however, that is +certain, nor was either of them so much as suspected; but another +man was apprehended under circumstances that warranted +suspicion. This was one of the things that I witnessed in my life, +which I never understood, and it surely was one of my patron's +most dexterous tricks, for I must still say, what I have thought +from the beginning, that like him there never was a man created. +The young man who was taken up was a preacher; and it was +proved that he had purchased fire-arms in town, and gone out +with them that morning. But the far greatest mystery of the whole +was that two of the men, out of the three who met my companion, +swore that that unfortunate preacher was the man whom they met +with a pistol in each hand, fresh from the death of the old divine. +The poor fellow made a confused speech himself, which there is +not the least doubt was quite true; but it was laughed to scorn, and +an expression of horror ran through both the hearers and jury. I +heard the whole trial, and so did Gil-Martin; but we left the +journeyman preacher to his fate, and from that time forth I have +had no faith in the justice of criminal trials. If once a man is +prejudiced on one side, he will swear anything in support of such +prejudice. I tried to expostulate with my mysterious friend on the +horrid injustice of suffering this young man to die for our act, but +the prince exulted in it more than the other, and said the latter was +the most dangerous man of the two. + +The alarm in and about Glasgow was prodigious. The country +being divided into two political parties, the court and the country +party, the former held meetings, issued proclamations, and +offered rewards, ascribing all to the violence of party spirit, and +deprecating the infernal measures of their opponents. I did not +understand their political differences; but it was easy to see that +the true Gospel preachers joined all on one side, and the +upholders of pure morality and a blameless life on the other, so +that this division proved a test to us, and it was forthwith resolved +that we two should pick out some of the leading men of this +unsaintly and heterodox cabal, and cut them off one by one, as +occasion should suit. + +Now, the ice being broke, I felt considerable zeal in our great +work, but pretended much more; and we might soon have +kidnapped them all through the ingenuity of my patron, had not +our next attempt miscarried, by some awkwardness or mistake of +mine. The consequence was that he was discovered fairly, and +very nigh seized. I also was seen, and suspected so far that my +reverend father, my mother, and myself were examined privately. +I denied all knowledge of the matter; and they held it in such a +ridiculous light, and their conviction of the complete +groundlessness of the suspicion was so perfect, that their +testimony prevailed, and the affair was hushed. I was obliged, +however, to walk circumspectly, and saw my companion the +prince very seldom, who was prowling about every day, quite +unconcerned about his safety. He was every day a new man, +however, and needed not to be alarmed at any danger; for such a +facility had he in disguising himself that, if it had not been for a +password which we had between us, for the purposes of +recognition, I never could have known him myself. + +It so happened that my reverend father was called to Edinburgh +about this time, to assist with his counsel in settling the national +affairs. At my earnest request I was permitted to accompany him, +at which both my associate and I rejoiced, as we were now about +to move in a new and extensive field. All this time I never knew +where my illustrious friend resided. He never once invited me to +call on him at his lodgings, nor did he ever come to our house, +which made me sometimes to suspect that, if any of our great +efforts in the cause of true religion were discovered, he intended +leaving me in the lurch. Consequently, when we met in +Edinburgh (for we travelled not in company), I proposed to go +with him to look for lodgings, telling him at the same time what a +blessed religious family my reverend instructor and I were settled +in. He said he rejoiced at it, but he made a rule of never lodging +in any particular house, but took these daily, or hourly, as he +found it convenient, and that be never was at a loss in any +circumstance. + +"What a mighty trouble you put yourself to, great sovereign!" +said I, "and all, it would appear, for the purpose of seeing and +knowing more and more of the human race." + +"I never go but where I have some great purpose to serve," +returned he, "either in the advancement of my own power and +dominion or in thwarting my enemies." + +"With all due deference to your great comprehension, my +illustrious friend," said I, "it strikes me that you can accomplish +very little either the one way or the other here, in the humble and +private capacity you are pleased to occupy." + +"It is your own innate modesty that prompts such a remark," said +he. "Do you think the gaining of you to my service is not an +attainment worthy of being envied by the greatest potentate in +Christendom? Before I had missed such a prize as the attainment +of your services, I would have travelled over one half of the +habitable globe."--I bowed with great humility, but at the same +time how could I but feel proud and highly flattered? He +continued: "Believe me, my dear friend, for such a prize I account +no effort too high. For a man who is not only dedicated to the +King of Heaven in the most solemn manner, soul, body, and +spirit, but also chosen of him from the beginning, justified, +sanctified, and received into a communion that never shall be +broken, and from which no act of his shall ever remove him--the +possession of such a man, I tell you, is worth kingdoms; because, +every deed that he performs, he does it with perfect safety to +himself and honour to me."--I bowed again, lifting my hat, and he +went on.-- "I am now going to put his courage in the cause he has +espoused to a severe test--to a trial at which common nature +would revolt, but he who is dedicated to be the sword of the Lord +must raise himself above common humanity. You have a father +and a brother according to the flesh: what do you know of them?" + +"I am sorry to say I know nothing good," said I. "They are +reprobates, castaways, beings devoted to the Wicked One, and, +like him, workers of every species of iniquity with greediness." + +"They must both fall!" said he, with a sigh and melancholy look. +"It is decreed in the councils above that they must both fall by +your hand." + +"The God of Heaven forbid it!" said I. "They are enemies to +Christ and His Church, that I know and believe; but they shall +live and die in their iniquity for me, and reap their guerdon when +their time cometh. There my hand shall not strike." + +"The feeling is natural, and amiable," said he. "But you must +think again. Whether are the bonds of carnal nature or the bonds +and vows of the Lord strongest?" + +"I will not reason with you on this head, mighty potentate," said I, +"for whenever I do so it is but to be put down. I shall only, +express my determination not to take vengeance out of the Lord's +hand in this instance. It availeth not. These are men that have the +mark of the beast in their foreheads and right hands; they are lost +beings themselves, but have no influence over others. Let them +perish in their sins; for they shall not be meddled with by me." + +"How preposterously you talk, my dear friend!" said he. "These +people are your greatest enemies; they would rejoice to see you +annihilated. And, now that you have taken up the Lord's cause of +being avenged on His enemies, wherefore spare those that are +your own as well as His? Besides, you ought to consider what +great advantages would be derived to the cause of righteousness +and truth were the estate and riches of that opulent house in your +possession, rather than in that of such as oppose the truth and all +manner of holiness." + +This was a portion of the consequence of following my illustrious +adviser's summary mode of procedure that had never entered into +my calculation. I disclaimed all idea of being influenced by it; +however, I cannot but say that the desire of being enabled to do +so much good, by the possession of these bad men's riches, made +some impression on my heart, and I said I would consider of the +matter. I did consider it, and that right seriously as well as +frequently; and there was scarcely an hour in the day on which +my resolves were not animated by my great friend, till at length I +began to have a longing desire to kill my brother, in particular. +Should any man ever read this scroll, he will wonder at this +confession, and deem it savage and unnatural. So it appeared to +me at first, but a constant thinking of an event changes every one +of its features. I have done all for the best, and as I was prompted, +by one who knew right and wrong much better than I did. I had a +desire to slay him, it is true, and such a desire too as a thirsty man +has to drink; but, at the same time, this longing desire was +mingled with a certain terror, as if I had dreaded that the drink for +which I longed was mixed with deadly poison. My mind was so +much weakened, or rather softened about this time, that my faith +began a little to give way, and I doubted most presumptuously of +the least tangible of all Christian tenets, namely, of the +infallibility of the elect. I hardly comprehended the great work I +had begun, and doubted of my own infallibility, or that of any +created being. But I was brought over again by the unwearied +diligence of my friend to repent of my backsliding, and view once +more the superiority of the Almighty's counsels in its fullest +latitude. Amen. + +I prayed very much in secret about this time, and that with great +fervour of spirit, as well as humility; and my satisfaction at +finding all my requests granted is not to be expressed. + +My illustrious friend still continuing to sound in my ears the +imperious duty to which I was called, of making away with my +sinful relations, and quoting many parallel actions out of the +Scriptures, and the writings of the holy fathers, of the pleasure the +Lord took in such as executed his vengeance on the wicked, I was +obliged to acquiesce in his measures, though with certain +limitations. It was not easy to answer his arguments, and yet I +was afraid that he soon perceived a leaning to his will on my part. +"If the acts of Jehu, in rooting out the whole house of his master, +were ordered and approved-of by the Lord," said he, "would it +not have been more praiseworthy if one of Ahab's own sons had +stood up for the cause of the God of Israel, and rooted out the +sinners and their idols out of the land?" + +"It would certainly," said I. "To our duty to God all other duties +must yield." + +"Go thou then and do likewise," said he. "Thou are called to a +high vocation; to cleanse the sanctuary of thy God in this thy +native land by the shedding of blood; go thou then like a ruling +energy, a master spirit of desolation in the dwellings of the +wicked, and high shall be your reward both here and hereafter." + +My heart now panted with eagerness to look my brother in the +face. On which my companion, who was never out of the way, +conducted me to a small square in the suburbs of the city, where +there were a number of young noblemen and gentlemen playing +at a vain, idle, and sinful game, at which there was much of the +language of the accursed going on; and among these blasphemers +he instantly pointed out my brother to me. I was fired with +indignation at seeing him in such company, and so employed; and +I placed myself close beside him to watch all his motions, listen +to his words, and draw inferences from what I saw and heard. In +what a sink of sin was he wallowing! I resolved to take him to +task, and, if he refused to be admonished, to inflict on him some +condign punishment; and, knowing that my illustrious friend and +director was looking on, I resolved to show some spirit. +Accordingly, I waited until I heard him profane his Maker's name +three times, and then, my spiritual indignation being roused +above all restraint, I went up and kicked him. Yes, I went boldly +up and struck him with my foot, and meant to have given him a +more severe blow than it was my fortune to inflict. It had, +however, the effect of rousing up his corrupt nature to quarrelling +and strife, instead of taking the chastisement of the Lord in +humility and meekness. He ran furiously against me in the choler +that is always inspired by the wicked one; but I overthrew him, +by reason of impeding the natural and rapid progress of his +unholy feet running to destruction. I also fell slightly; but his fall +proved a severe one, he arose in wrath, and struck me with the +mall which he held in his hand, until my blood flowed copiously; +and from that moment I vowed his destruction in my heart. But I +chanced to have no weapon at that time, nor any means of +inflicting due punishment on the caitiff, which would not have +been returned double on my head by him and his graceless +associates. I mixed among them at the suggestion of my friend, +and, following them to their den of voluptuousness and sin, I +strove to be admitted among them, in hopes of finding some +means of accomplishing my great purpose, while I found myself +moved by the spirit within me so to do. But I was not only +debarred, but, by the machinations of my wicked brother and his +associates, cast into prison. + +I was not sorry at being thus honoured to suffer in the cause of +righteousness, and at the hands of sinful men; and, as soon as I +was alone, I betook myself to prayer, deprecating the long- +suffering of God towards such horrid sinners. My jailer came to +me, and insulted me. He was a rude unprincipled fellow, +partaking of the loose and carnal manners of the age; but I +remembered of having read, in the Cloud of Witnesses, of such +men formerly having been converted by the imprisoned saints; so +I set myself, with all my heart, to bring about this man's +repentance and reformation. + +"Fat the deil are ye yoolling an' praying that gate for, man?" said +he, coming angrily in. "I thought the days o' praying prisoners +had been a' ower. We hath rowth o' them aince; an' they were the +poorest an' the blackest bargains that ever poor jailers saw. Gie +up your crooning, or I'll pit you to an in-by place, where ye sall +get plenty o't." + +"Friend," said I, "I am making my appeal at the bar where all +human actions are seen and judged, and where you shall not be +forgot, sinful as you are. Go in peace, and let me be." + +"Hae ye naebody nearer-hand hame to mak your appeal to, man?" +said he. "Because an ye hae-na, I dread you an' me may be unco +weel acquaintit by an' by." + +I then opened up the mysteries of religion to him in a clear and +perspicuous manner, but particularly the great doctrine of the +election of grace; and then I added: "Now, friend, you must tell +me if you pertain to this chosen number. It is in every man's +power to ascertain this, and it is every man's duty to do it." + +"An' fat the better wad you be for the kenning o' this, man?" said +he. + +"Because, if you are one of my brethren, I will take you into +sweet communion and fellowship," returned I. "But, if you +belong to the unregenerate, I have a commission to slay you." + +"The deil you hae, callant!" said he, gaping and laughing. "An', +pray now, fa was it, that gae you siccan a braw commission?" + +"My commission is sealed by the signet above", said I, "and that I +will let you and all sinners know. I am dedicated to it by the most +solemn vows and engagements. I am the sword of the Lord, and +Famine and Pestilence are my sisters. Woe then to the wicked of +this land, for they must fall down dead together, that the Church +may be purified!" + +"Oo, foo, foo! I see how it is," said he. "Yours is a very braw +commission, but you will have the small opportunity of carrying +it through here. Take my advising, and write a bit of a letter to +your friends, and I will send it, for this is no place for such a great +man. If you cannot steady your hand to write, as I see you have +been at your great work, a word of a mouth may do; for I do +assure you this is not the place at all, of any in the world, for your +operations." + +The man apparently thought I was deranged in my intellect. He +could not swallow such great truths at the first morsel. So I took +his advice, and sent a line to my reverend father, who was not +long in coming, and great was the jailer's wonderment when he +saw all the great Christian noblemen of the land sign my bond of +freedom. + +My reverend father took this matter greatly to heart, and bestirred +himself in the good cause till the transgressors were ashamed to +shew their faces. My illustrious companion was not idle: I +wondered that he came not to me in prison, nor at my release; but +he was better employed, in stirring up the just to the execution of +God's decrees; and he succeeded so well that my brother and all +his associates had nearly fallen victims to their wrath. But many +were wounded, bruised, and imprisoned, and much commotion +prevailed in the city. For my part, I was greatly strengthened in +my resolution by the anathemas of my reverend father, who, +privately (that is in a family capacity) in his prayers, gave up my +father and brother, according to the flesh, to Satan, making it +plain to all my senses of perception that they were being given up +of God, to be devoured by fiends of men, at their will and +pleasure, and that whosoever should slay them would do God +good service. + +The next morning my illustrious friend met me at an early hour, +and he was greatly overjoyed at hearing my sentiments now +chime so much in unison with his own. I said: "I longed for the +day and the hour that I might look my brother in the face at +Gilgal, and visit on him the iniquity of his father and himself, for +that I was now strengthened and prepared for the deed." + +"I have been watching the steps and movements of the profligate +one," said he, "and, lo, I will take you straight to his presence. Let +your heart be as the heart of the lion, and your arms strong as the +shekels of brass, and swift to avenge as the bolt that descendeth +from heaven, for the blood of the just and the good hath long +flowed in Scotland. But already is the day of their avengement +begun; the hero is at length arisen who shall send all such as bear +enmity to the true Church, or trust in works of their own, to +Tophet!" + +Thus encouraged, I followed my friend, who led me directly to +the same court in which I had chastised the miscreant on the +foregoing day; and, behold, there was the same group again +assembled. They eyed me with terror in their looks, as I walked +among them and eyed them with looks of disapprobation and +rebuke; and I saw that the very eye of a chosen one lifted on these +children of Belial was sufficient to dismay and put them to flight. +I walked aside to my friend, who stood at a distance looking on, +and he said to me: "What thinkest thou now?" and I answered in +the words of the venal prophet, "Lo, now, if I had a sword into +mine hand I would even kill him." + +"Wherefore lackest thou it?" said he. "Dost thou not see that they +tremble at thy presence, knowing that the avenger of blood is +among them." + +My heart was lifted up on hearing this, and again I strode into the +midst of them, and, eyeing them with threatening looks, they +were so much confounded that they abandoned their sinful +pastime, and fled everyone to his house! + +This was a palpable victory gained over the wicked, and I thereby +knew that the hand of the Lord was with me. My companion also +exulted, and said: "Did not I tell thee? Behold thou dost not know +one half of thy might, or of the great things thou art destined to +do. Come with me and I will show thee more than this, for these +young men cannot subsist without the exercises of sin. I listened +to their councils, and I know where they will meet again." + +Accordingly he led me a little farther to the south, and we walked +aside till by degrees we saw some people begin to assemble; and +in a short time we perceived the same group stripping off their +clothes to make them more expert in the practice of madness and +folly. Their game was begun before we approached, and so also +were the oaths and cursing. I put my hands in my pockets, and +walked with dignity and energy into the midst of them. It was +enough. Terror and astonishment seized them. A few of them +cried out against me, but their voices were soon hushed amid the +murmurs of fear. One of them, in the name of the rest, then came +and besought of me to grant them liberty to amuse themselves; +but I refused peremptorily, dared the whole multitude so much as +to touch me with one of their fingers, and dismissed them in the +name of the Lord. + +Again they all fled and dispersed at my eye, and I went home in +triumph, escorted by my friend, and some well-meaning young +Christians, who, however, had not learned to deport themselves +with soberness and humility. But my ascendancy over my +enemies was great indeed; for wherever I appeared I was hailed +with approbation, and, wherever my guilty brother made his +appearance, he was hooted and held in derision, till he was forced +to hide his disgraceful head, and appear no more in public. + +Immediately after this I was seized with a strange distemper, +which neither my friends nor physicians could comprehend, and +it confined me to my chamber for many days; but I knew, myself, +that I was bewitched, and suspected my father's reputed +concubine of the deed. I told my fears to my reverend protector, +who hesitated concerning them, but I knew by his words and +looks that he was conscious I was right. I generally conceived +myself to be two people. When I lay in bed, I deemed there were +two of us in it; when I sat up I always beheld another person, and +always in the same position from the place where I sat or stood, +which was about three paces off me towards my left side. It +mattered not how many or how few were present: this my second +self was sure to be present in his place, and this occasioned a +confusion in all my words and ideas that utterly astounded my +friends, who all declared that, instead of being deranged in my +intellect, they had never heard my conversation manifest so much +energy or sublimity of conception; but, for all that, over the +singular delusion that I was two persons my reasoning faculties +had no power. The most perverse part of it was that I rarely +conceived myself to be any of the two persons. I thought for the +most part that my companion was one of them, and my brother +the other; and I found that, to be obliged to speak and answer in +the character of another man, was a most awkward business at the +long run. + +Who can doubt, from this statement, that I was bewitched, and +that my relatives were at the ground of it? The constant and +unnatural persuasion that I was my brother proved it to my own +satisfaction, and must, I think, do so to every unprejudiced +person. This victory of the Wicked One over me kept me +confined in my chamber at Mr. Millar's house for nearly a month, +until the prayers of the faithful prevailed, and I was restored. I +knew it was a chastisement for my pride, because my heart was +lifted up at my superiority over the enemies of the Church; +nevertheless I determined to make short work with the aggressor, +that the righteous might not be subjected to the effect of his +diabolical arts again. + +I say I was confined a month. I beg he that readeth to take note of +this, that he may estimate how much the word, or even the oath, +of a wicked man is to depend on. For a month I saw no one but +such as came into my room, and, for all that, it will be seen that +there were plenty of the same set to attest upon oath that I saw my +brother every day during this period; that I persecuted him, with +my presence day and night, while all the time I never saw his +face save in a delusive dream. I cannot comprehend what +manoeuvres my illustrious friend was playing off with them +about this time; for he, having the art of personating whom he +chose, had peradventure deceived them, else many of them had +never all attested the same thing. I never saw any man so steady +in his friendships and attentions as he; but as he made a rule of +never calling at private houses, for fear of some discovery being +made of his person, so I never saw him while my malady lasted; +but, as soon as I grew better, I knew I had nothing ado but to +attend at some of our places of meeting to see him again. He was +punctual, as usual, and I had not to wait. + +My reception was precisely as I apprehended. There was no +flaring, no flummery, nor bombastical pretensions, but a dignified +return to my obeisance, and an immediate recurrence, in +converse, to the important duties incumbent on us, in our stations, +as reformers and purifiers of the Church. + +"I have marked out a number of most dangerous characters in this +city," said he, "all of whom must be cut off from cumbering the +true vineyard before we leave this land. And, if you bestir not +yourself in the work to which you are called, I must raise up +others who shall have the honour of it!" + +"I am, most illustrious prince, wholly at your service," said I. +"Show but what ought to be done, and here is the heart to dare and +the hand to execute. You pointed out my relations, according to +the flesh, as brands fitted to be thrown into the burning. I approve +peremptorily of the award; nay, I thirst to accomplish it; for I +myself have suffered severely from their diabolical arts. When +once that trial of my devotion to the faith is accomplished, then +he your future operations disclosed." + +"You are free of your words and promises," said he. + +"So will I be of my deeds in the service of my master, and that +shalt thou see," said I. "I lack not the spirit, nor the will, but I lack +experience woefully; and, because of that shortcoming, must bow +to your suggestions!" + +"Meet me here to-morrow betimes," said he, "and perhaps you +may hear of some opportunity of displaying your zeal in the +cause of righteousness." + +I met him as he desired me; and he addressed me with a hurried +and joyful expression, telling me that my brother was astir, and +that a few minutes ago he had seen him pass on his way to the +mountain. "The hill is wrapped in a cloud," added he, and never +was there such an opportunity of executing divine justice on a +guilty sinner. You may trace him in the dew, and shall infallibly +find him on the top of some precipice; for it is only in secret that +he dares show his debased head to the sun." + +"I have no arms, else assuredly I would pursue him and discomfit +him," said I. + +"Here is a small dagger," said he; "I have nothing of weaponkind +about me save that, but it is a potent one; and, should you require +it, there is nothing more ready or sure." + +"Will not you accompany me?" said I. "Sure you will?" + +"I will be with you, or near you," said he. "Go you on before." + +I hurried away as he directed me, and imprudently asked some of +Queensberry's guards if such and such a young man passed by +them going out from the city. I was answered in the affirmative, +and till then had doubted of my friend's intelligence, it was so +inconsistent with a profligate's life to be so early astir. When I got +the certain intelligence that my brother was before me, I fell a- +running, scarcely knowing what I did; and, looking several times +behind me, I perceived nothing of my zealous and arbitrary +friend. The consequence of this was that, by the time I reached St. +Anthony's well, my resolution began to give way. It was not my +courage, for, now that I had once shed blood in the cause of the +true faith, I was exceedingly bold and ardent, but, whenever I was +left to myself, I was subject to sinful doubtings. These always +hankered on one point. I doubted if the elect were infallible, and +if the Scripture promises to them were binding in all situations +and relations. I confess this, and that it was a sinful and shameful +weakness in me, but my nature was subject to it, and I could not +eschew it. I never doubted that I was one of the elect myself; for, +besides the strong inward and spiritual conviction that I +possessed, I had my kind father's assurance; and these had been +revealed to him in that way and measure that they could not be +doubted. + +In this desponding state, I sat myself down on a stone, and +bethought me of the rashness of my undertaking. I tried to +ascertain, to my own satisfaction, whether or not I really had been +commissioned of God to perpetrate these crimes in His behalf, +for, in the eyes and by the laws of men, they were great and +crying transgressions. While I sat pondering on these things, I +was involved in a veil of white misty vapour, and, looking up to +heaven, I was just about to ask direction from above, when I +heard as it were a still small voice close by me, which uttered +some words of derision and chiding. I looked intensely in the +direction whence it seemed to come, and perceived a lady robed +in white, who hastened towards me. She regarded me with a +severity of look and gesture that appalled me so much I could not +address her; but she waited not for that, but coming close to my +side said, without stopping: "Preposterous wretch! How dare you +lift your eyes to Heaven with such purposes in your heart? Escape +homewards, and save your Soul, or farewell for ever!" + +These were all the words that she uttered, as far as I could ever +recollect, but my spirits were kept in such a tumult that morning +that something might have escaped me. I followed her eagerly +with my eyes, but in a moment she glided over the rocks above +the holy well, and vanished. I persuaded myself that I had seen a +vision, and that the radiant being that had addressed me was one +of the good angels, or guardian spirits, commissioned by the +Almighty to watch over the steps of the just. My first impulse +was to follow her advice, and make my escape home; for I +thought to myself. "How is this interested and mysterious +foreigner a proper judge of the actions of a free Christian?" + +The thought was hardly framed, nor had I moved in a retrograde +direction six steps, when I saw my illustrious friend and great +adviser descending the ridge towards me with hasty and +impassioned strides. My heart fainted within me; and, when he +came up and addressed me, I looked as one caught in a trespass. +"What hath detained thee, thou desponding trifler?" said he. +"Verily now shall the golden opportunity be lost which may +never be recalled. I have traced the reprobate to his sanctuary in +the cloud, and lo he is perched on the pinnacle of a precipice an +hundred fathoms high. One ketch with thy foot, or toss with thy +finger, shall throw him from thy sight into the foldings of the +cloud, and he shall be no more seen till found at the bottom of the +cliff dashed to pieces. Make haste, therefore, thou loiterer, if thou +wouldst ever prosper and rise to eminence in the work of thy +Lord and Master." + +"I go no farther in this work, said I, "for I have seen a vision that +has reprimanded the deed!' + +"A vision?" said he. "Was it that wench who descended from the +hill?" + +"The being that spake to me, and warned me of my danger, was +indeed in the form of a lady," said I. + +"She also approached me and said a few words," returned he, +"and I thought there was something mysterious in her manner. +Pray, what did she say? for the words of such a singular message, +and from such a messenger, ought to be attended to. If I +understood her aright, she was chiding us for our misbelief and +preposterous delay." + +I recited her words, but he answered that I had been in a state of +sinful doubting at the time, and it was to these doubtings she had +adverted. In short, this wonderful and clear-sighted stranger soon +banished all my doubts and despondency, making me utterly +ashamed of them, and again I set out with him in the pursuit of +my brother. He showed me the traces of his footsteps in the dew, +and pointed out the spot where I should find him. "You have +nothing more to do than go softly down behind him," said he, +"which you can do to within an ell of him, without being seen; +then rush upon him, and throw him from his seat, where there is +neither footing nor hold. I will go, meanwhile, and amuse his +sight by some exhibition in the contrary direction, and he shall +neither know nor perceive who had done him this kind office: for, +exclusive of more weighty concerns, be assured of this that, the +sooner he falls, the fewer crimes will he have to answer for, and +his estate in the other world will be proportionally more tolerable +than if he spent a long unregenerate life steeped in iniquity to the +loathing of the soul." + +"Nothing can be more plain or more pertinent," said I. +"Therefore, I fly to perform that which is both a duty towards +God and towards man!" + +"You shall yet rise to great honour and preferment," said he. + +"I value it not, provided I do honour and justice to the cause of +my master here," said I. + +"You shall be lord of your father's riches and demesnes," added +he. + +"I disclaim and deride every selfish motive thereto relating," said +I, "further than as it enables me to do good." + +"Aye, but that is a great and a heavenly consideration, that +longing for ability to do good," said he--and, as he said so, I +could not help remarking a certain derisive exultation of +expression which I could not comprehend; and indeed I have +noted this very often in my illustrious friend, and sometimes +mentioned it civilly to him, but he has never failed to disclaim it. +On this occasion I said nothing, but, concealing his poniard in my +clothes, I hasted up the mountain, determined to execute my +purpose before any misgivings should again visit me; and I never +had more ado than in keeping firm my resolution. I could not help +my thoughts, and there are certain trains and classes of thoughts +that have great power in enervating the mind. I thought of the +awful thing of plunging a fellow creature from the top of a cliff +into the dark and misty void below--of his being dashed to pieces +on the protruding rocks, and of hearing his shrieks as he +descended the cloud, and beheld the shagged points on which he +was to alight. Then I thought of plunging a soul so abruptly into +Hell, or, at the best, sending it to hover on the confines of that +burning abyss--of its appearance at the bar of the Almighty to +receive its sentence. And then I thought: "Will there not be a +sentence pronounced against me there, by a jury of the just made +perfect, and written down in the registers of Heaven?" + +These thoughts, I say, came upon me unasked, and, instead of +being able to dispel them, they mustered upon the summit of my +imagination in thicker and stronger array: and there was another +that impressed me in a very particular manner, though I have +reason to believe not so strongly as those above written. It was +this: "What if I should fail in my first effort? Will the +consequence not be that I am tumbled from the top of the rock +myself?" and then all the feelings anticipated, with regard to both +body and soul, must happen to me! This was a spinebreaking +reflection; and yet, though the probability was rather on that side, +my zeal in the cause of godliness was such that it carried me on, +maugre all danger and dismay. + +I soon came close upon my brother, sitting on the dizzy pinnacle. +with his eyes fixed steadfastly in the direction opposite to me. I +descended the little green ravine behind him with my feet +foremost, and every now and then raised my head, and watched +his motions. His posture continued the same, until at last I came +so near him I could have heard him breathe if his face had been +towards me. I laid my cap aside, and made me ready to spring +upon him and push him over. I could not for my life accomplish +it! I do not think it was that I durst not, I have always felt my +courage equal to anything in a good cause. But I had not the +heart, or something that I ought to have had. In short, it was not +done in time, as it easily might have been. These THOUGHTS +are hard enemies wherewith to combat! And I was so grieved that +I could not effect my righteous purpose that I laid me down on +my face and shed tears. Then, again, I thought of what my great +enlightened friend and patron would say to me, and again my +resolution rose indignant and indissoluble save by blood. I arose +on my right knee and left foot, and had just begun to advance the +latter forward: the next step my great purpose had been +accomplished, and the culprit had suffered the punishment due to +his crimes. But what moved him I knew not: in the critical +moment he sprung to his feet, and, dashing himself furiously +against me, he overthrew me, at the imminent peril of my life. I +disencumbered myself by main force and fled, but he overhied +me, knocked me down, and threatened, with dreadful oaths, to +throw me from the cliff. After I was a little recovered from the +stunning blow, I aroused myself to the combat; and, though I do +not recollect the circumstances of that deadly scuffle very +minutely, I know that I vanquished him so far as to force him to +ask my pardon, and crave a reconciliation. I spurned at both and +left him to the chastisements of his own wicked and corrupt heart. + +My friend met me again on the hill and derided me in a haughty +and stern manner for my imbecility and want of decision. I told +him how nearly I had effected my purpose, and excused myself as +well as I was able. On this, seeing me bleeding, he advised me to +swear the peace against my brother, and have him punished in the +meantime, he being the first aggressor. I promised compliance +and we parted, for I was somewhat ashamed of my failure, and +was glad to be quit for the present of one of whom I stood so +much in awe. + +When my reverend father beheld me bleeding a second time by +the hand of a brother, he was moved to the highest point of +displeasure; and, relying on his high interest and the justice of his +cause, he brought the matter at once before the courts. My brother +and I were first examined face to face. His declaration was a mere +romance: mine was not the truth; but as it was by the advice of +my reverend father, and that of my illustrious friend, both of +whom I knew to be sincere Christians and true believers, that I +gave it, I conceived myself completely justified on that score. I +said I had gone up into the mountain early on the morning to +pray, and had withdrawn myself, for entire privacy, into a little +sequestered dell--had laid aside my cap, and was in the act of +kneeling when I was rudely attacked by my brother, knocked +over, and nearly slain. They asked my brother if this was true. He +acknowledged that it was; that I was bare-headed and in the act of +kneeling when he ran foul of me without any intent of doing so. +But the judge took him to task on the improbability of this, and +put the profligate sore out of countenance. The rest of his tale told +still worse, insomuch that he was laughed at by all present, for the +judge remarked to him that, granting it was true that he had at +first run against me on an open mountain and overthrown me by +accident, how was it that, after I had extricated myself and fled, +that he had pursued, overtaken, and knocked me down a second +time? Would he pretend that all that was likewise by chance? The +culprit had nothing to say for himself on this head, and I shall not +forget my exultation and that of my reverend father when the +sentence of the judge was delivered. It was that my wicked +brother should be thrown into prison and tried on a criminal +charge of assault and battery, with the intent of committing +murder. This was a just and righteous judge, and saw things in +their proper bearings, that is, he could discern between a +righteous and a wicked man, and then there could be no doubt as +to which of the two were acting right and which wrong. + +Had I not been sensible that a justified person could do nothing +wrong, I should not have been at my ease concerning the +statement I had been induced to give on this occasion. I could +easily perceive that, by rooting out the weeds from the garden of +the Church, I heightened the growth of righteousness; but, as to +the tardy way of giving false evidence on matters of such +doubtful issue, I confess I saw no great propriety in it from the +beginning. But I now only moved by the will and mandate of my +illustrious friend. I had no peace or comfort when out of his +Sight, nor have I ever been able to boast of much in his presence; +so true is it that a Christian's life is one of suffering. + +My time was now much occupied, along with my reverend +preceptor, in making ready for the approaching trial, as the +prosecutors. Our counsel assured us of a complete victory, and +that banishment would be the mildest award of the law on the +offender. Mark how different was the result! From the shifts and +ambiguities of a wicked Bench, who had a fellow-feeling of +iniquity with the defenders, my suit was lost, the graceless +libertine was absolved, and I was incarcerated, and bound over to +keep the peace, with heavy penalties, before I was set at liberty. + +I was exceedingly disgusted at this issue, and blamed the counsel +of my friend to his face. He expressed great grief, and expatiated +on the wickedness of our judicatories, adding: "I see I cannot +depend on you for quick and summary measures, but for your +sake I shall be revenged on that wicked judge, and that you shall +see in a few days." The Lord Justice Clerk died that same week! +But he died in his own house and his own bed, and by what +means my friend effected it I do not know. He would not tell me +a single word of the matter, but the judge's sudden death made a +great noise, and I made so many curious inquiries regarding the +particulars of it that some suspicions were like to attach to our +family of some unfair means used. For my part I know nothing, +and rather think he died by the visitation of Heaven, and that my +friend had foreseen it, by symptoms, and soothed me by promises +of complete revenge. + +It was some days before he mentioned my brother's meditated +death to me again, and certainly he then found me exasperated +against him personally to the highest degree. But I told him that I +could not now think any more of it owing to the late judgment of +the court, by which, if my brother were missing or found dead, I +would not only forfeit my life but my friends would be ruined by +the penalties. + +"I suppose you know and believe in the perfect safety of your +soul," said he, "and that that is a matter settled from the beginning +of time, and now sealed and ratified both in Heaven and earth?" + +"I believe in it thoroughly and perfectly," said I; "and, whenever I +entertain doubts of it, I am sensible of sin and weakness." + +"Very well, so then am I," said he. "I think I can now divine, with +all manner of certainty, what will be the high and merited +guerdon of your immortal part. Hear me then further: I give you +my solemn assurance, and bond of blood, that no human hand +shall ever henceforth be able to injure your life, or shed one drop +of your precious blood; but it is on the condition that you walk +always by my directions." + +"I will do so with cheerfulness," said I, "for, without your +enlightened counsel, I feel that I can do nothing. But, as to your +power of protecting my life, you must excuse me for doubting of +it. Nay, were we in your proper dominions, you could not ensure +that." + +"In whatever dominion or land I am, my power accompanies me," +said he, "and it is only against human might and human weapon +that I ensure your life; on that will I keep an eye, and on that you +may depend. I have never broken word or promise with you. Do +you credit me?" + +"Yes, I do," said I, "for I see you are in earnest. I believe, though +I do not comprehend you." + +"Then why do you not at once challenge your brother to the field +of honour? Seeing you now act without danger, cannot you also +act without fear?" + +"It is not fear," returned I, "believe me. I hardly know what fear +is. It is a doubt that, on all these emergencies, constantly haunts +my mind that, in performing such and such actions, I may fall +from my upright state. This makes fratricide a fearful task!' + +"This is imbecility itself," said he. "We have settled and agreed +on that point an hundred times. I would therefore advise that you +challenge your brother to single combat. I shall ensure your +safety, and he cannot refuse giving you satisfaction." + +"But then the penalties?" said I. + +"We will try to evade these," said he, "and, supposing you should +be caught, if once you are Laird of Dalcastle and Balgrennan, +what are the penalties to you?" + +"Might we not rather pop him off in private and quietness, as we +did the deistical divine?" said I. + +"The deed would be alike meritorious, either way," said he. "But +may we not wait for years before we find an opportunity? My +advice is to challenge him, as privately as you will, and there cut +him off." + +"So be it then," said I. "When the moon is at the full, I will send +for him forth to speak with one, and there will I smite him and +slay him, and he shall trouble the righteous no more." + +"Then this is the very night," said he, "The moon is nigh to the +full, and this night your brother and his sinful mates hold +carousal; for there is an intended journey to-morrow. The +exulting profligate leaves town, where we must remain till the +time of my departure hence; and then is he safe, and must live to +dishonour God, and not only destroy his own soul but those of +many others. Alack, and woe is me! The sins that he and his +friends will commit this very night will cry to Heaven against us +for our shameful delay! When shall our great work of cleansing +the sanctuary be finished, if we proceed at this puny rate?" + +"I see the deed must be done, then," said I, "and, since it is so, it +shall be done. I will arm myself forthwith, and from the midst of +his wine and debauchery you shall call him forth to me, and there +will I smite him with the edge of the sword, that our great work +be not retarded." + +"If thy execution were equal to thy intent, how great a man you +soon might be!" said he. "We shall make the attempt once more; +and, if it fail again, why, I must use other means to bring about +my high purposes relating to mankind. Home and make ready. I +will go and procure what information I can regarding their +motions, and will meet you in disguise twenty minutes hence, at +the first turn of Hewie's Lane beyond the loch." + +"I have nothing to make ready," said I, "for I do not choose to go +home. Bring me a sword, and we may consecrate it with prayer +and vows, and, if I use it not to the bringing down of the wicked +and profane, then may the Lord do so to me, and more also!" + +We parted, and there was I left again to the multiplicity of my +own thoughts for the space of twenty minutes, a thing my friend +never failed in subjecting me to, and these were worse to contend +with than hosts of sinful men. I prayed inwardly that these deeds +of mine might never be brought to the knowledge of men who +were incapable of appreciating the high motives that led to them; +and then I sung part of the 10th Psalm, likewise in spirit; but, for +all these efforts, my sinful doubts returned, so that when my +illustrious friend joined me, and proffered me the choice of two +gilded rapiers, I declined accepting any of them, and began, in a +very bold and energetic manner, to express my doubts regarding +the justification of all the deeds of perfect men. He chided me +severely and branded me with cowardice, a thing that my nature +never was subject to; and then he branded me with falsehood and +breach of the most solemn engagements both to God and man. + +I was compelled to take the rapier, much against my inclination; +but, for all the arguments, threats, and promises that he could use, +I would not consent to send a challenge to my brother by his +mouth. There was one argument only that he made use of which +had some weight with me, but yet it would not preponderate. He +told me my brother was gone to a notorious and scandalous +habitation of women, and that, if I left him to himself for ever so +short a space longer, it might embitter his state through ages to +come. This was a trying concern to me; but I resisted it, and +reverted to my doubts. On this he said that he had meant to do me +honour, but, since I put it out of his power, he would do the deed, +and take the responsibility on himself. "I have with sore travail +procured a guardship of your life," added he. "For my own, I +have not; but, be that as it will, I shall not be baffled in my +attempts to benefit my friends without a trial. You will at all +events accompany me, and see that I get justice?" + +"Certes, I will do thus much," said I, "and woe be to him if his +arm prevail against my friend and patron!" + +His lip curled with a smile of contempt, which I could hardly +brook; and I began to be afraid that the eminence to which I had +been destined by him was already fading from my view. And I +thought what I should then do to ingratiate myself again with +him, for without his countenance I had no life. "I will be a man in +act," thought I, "but in sentiment I will not yield, and for this he +must surely admire me the more." + +As we emerged from the shadowy lane into the fair moonshine, I +started so that my whole frame underwent the most chilling +vibrations of surprise. I again thought I had been taken at +unawares and was conversing with another person. My friend was +equipped in the Highland garb, and so completely translated into +another being that, save by his speech, all the senses of mankind +could not have recognized him. I blessed myself, and asked +whom it was his pleasure to personify to-night? He answered me +carelessly that it was a spark whom he meant should bear the +blame of whatever might fall out to-night; and that was all that +passed on the subject. + +We proceeded by some stone steps at the foot of the North Loch, +in hot argument all the way. I was afraid that our conversation +might be overheard, for the night was calm and almost as light as +day, and we saw sundry people crossing us as we advanced. But +the zeal of my friend was so high that he disregarded all danger, +and continued to argue fiercely and loudly on my delinquency, as +he was pleased to call it. I stood on one argument +alone, which was that "I did not think the Scripture promises to +the elect, taken in their utmost latitude, warranted the assurance +that they could do no wrong; and that, therefore, it behoved +every man to look well to his steps." + +There was no religious scruple that irritated my enlightened +friend and master so much as this. He could not endure it. And, +the sentiments of our great covenanted reformers being on his +side, there is not a doubt that I was wrong. He lost all patience on +hearing what I advanced on this matter, and, taking hold of me, +he led me into a darksome booth in a confined entry; and, after a +friendly but cutting reproach, he bade me remain there in secret +and watch the event. "And, if I fall," said he, "you will not fail to +avenge my death?" + +I was so entirely overcome with vexation that I could make no +answer, on which he left me abruptly, a prey to despair; and I saw +or heard no more till he came down to the moonlight green +followed by my brother. They had quarrelled before they came +within my hearing, for the first words I heard were those of my +brother, who was in a state of intoxication, and he was urging a +reconciliation, as was his wont on such occasions. My friend +spurned at the suggestion, and dared him to the combat; and after +a good deal of boastful altercation, which the turmoil of my +spirits prevented me from remembering, my brother was +compelled to draw his sword and stand on the defensive. It was a +desperate and terrible engagement. I at first thought that the +royal stranger and great champion of the faith would overcome +his opponent with ease, for I considered Heaven as on his side, +and nothing but the arm of sinful flesh against him. But I was +deceived. The sinner stood firm as a rock, while the assailant +flitted about like a shadow, or rather like a spirit. I smiled +inwardly, conceiving that these lightsome manoeuvres were all a +sham to show off his art and mastership in the exercise, and that, +whenever they came to close fairly, that instant my brother would +be overcome. Still I was deceived. My brother's arm seemed +invincible, so that the closer they fought the more palpably did it +prevail. They fought round the green to the very edge of the +water, and so round till they came close up to the covert where I +stood. There being no more room to shift ground, my brother then +forced him to come to close quarters, on which, the former still +having the decided advantage, my friend quitted his sword and +called out. I could resist no longer; so, springing from my +concealment, I rushed between them with my sword drawn, and +parted them as if they had been two schoolboys: then, turning to +my brother, I addressed him as follows: "Wretch! miscreant! +knowest thou what thou art attempting? Wouldest thou lay thine +hand on the Lord's anointed, or shed his precious blood? Turn +thee to me, that I may chastise thee for all thy wickedness, and +not for the many injuries thou hast done to me!" To it we went, +with full thirst of vengeance on every side. The duel was fierce; +but the might of Heaven prevailed, and not my might. The +ungodly and reprobate young man fell covered with wounds, and +with curses and blasphemy in his mouth, while I escaped +uninjured. Thereto his power extended not. + +I will not deny that my own immediate impressions of this affair +in some degree differed from this statement. But this is precisely +as my illustrious friend described it to be afterwards, and I can +rely implicitly on his information, as he was at that time a looker- +on, and my senses all in a state of agitation, and he could have no +motive for saying what was not the positive truth. + +Never till my brother was down did we perceive that there had +been witnesses to the whole business. Our ears were then +astounded by rude challenges of unfair play, which were quite +appalling to me; but my friend laughed at them and conducted me +off in perfect safety. As to the unfairness of the transaction, I can +say thus much, that my royal friend's sword was down ere ever +mine was presented. But if it still be accounted unfair to take up a +conqueror, and punish him in his own way, I answer: That if a +man is sent on a positive mission by his master, and hath laid +himself under vows to do his work, he ought not to be too nice in +the means of accomplishing it; and, further, I appeal to holy writ, +wherein many instances are recorded of the pleasure the Lord +takes in the final extinction of the wicked and profane; and this +position I take to be unanswerable. + +I was greatly disturbed in my mind for many days, knowing that +the transaction had been witnessed, and sensible also of the +perilous situation I occupied, owing to the late judgment of the +court against me. But on the contrary, I never saw my enlightened +friend in such high spirits. He assured me there was no danger; +and again repeated that he warranted my life against the power of +man. I thought proper, however, to remain in hiding for a week; +but, as he said, to my utter amazement, the blame fell on another, +who was not only accused but pronounced guilty by the general +voice, and outlawed for non-appearance! How could I doubt, +after this, that the hand of Heaven was aiding and abetting me? +The matter was beyond my comprehension; and, as for my friend, +he never explained anything that was past, but his activity and art +were without a parallel. + +He enjoyed our success mightily; and for his sake I enjoyed it +somewhat, but it was on account of his comfort only, for I could +not for my life perceive in what degree the Church was better or +purer than before these deeds were done. He continued to flatter +me with great things, as to honours, fame and emolument; and, +above all, with the blessing and protection of Him to whom my +body and soul were dedicated. But, after these high promises, I +got no longer peace; for he began to urge the death of my father +with such an unremitting earnestness that I found I had nothing +for it but to comply. I did so; and cannot express his enthusiasm +of approbation. So much did he hurry and press me in this that I +was forced to devise some of the most openly violent measures, +having no alternative. Heaven spared me the deed, taking, in that +instance, the vengeance in its own hand; for, before my arm could +effect the sanguine but meritorious act, the old man followed his +son to the grave. My illustrious and zealous friend seemed to +regret this somewhat, but he comforted himself with the +reflection, that still I had the merit of it, having not only +consented to it, but in fact effected it, for by doing the one action +I had brought about both. + +No sooner were the obsequies of the funeral over than my friend +and I went to Dalcastle, and took undisputed possession of the +houses, lands and effects that had been my father's; but his plate, +and vast treasures of ready money, he had bestowed on a +voluptuous and unworthy creature, who had lived long with him +as a mistress. Fain would I have sent her after her lover, and gave +my friend some hints on the occasion; but he only shook his head, +and said that we must lay all selfish and interested motives out of +the question. + +For a long time, when I awaked in the morning, I could not +believe my senses, that I was indeed the undisputed and sole +proprietor of so much wealth and grandeur; and I felt so much +gratified that I immediately set about doing all the good I was +able, hoping to meet with all approbation and encouragement +from my friend. I was mistaken. He checked the very first +impulses towards such a procedure, questioned my motives, and +uniformly made them out to be wrong. There was one morning +that a servant said to me there was a lady in the back chamber +who wanted to speak with me, but he could not tell me who it +was, for all the old servants had left the mansion, every one on +hearing of the death of the late laird, and those who had come +knew none of the people in the neighbourhood. From several +circumstances, I had suspicions of private confabulations with +women, and refused to go to her, but bid the servant inquire what +she wanted. She would not tell, she could only state the +circumstances to me; so I, being sensible that a little dignity of +manner became me in my elevated situation, returned for answer +that, if it was business that could not be transacted by my +steward, it must remain untransacted. The answer which the +servant brought back was of a threatening nature. She stated she +must see me, and, if I refused her satisfaction there, she would +compel it where I should not evite her. + +My friend and director appeared pleased with my dilemma, and +rather advised that I should hear what the woman had to say; on +which I consented, provided she would deliver her mission in his +presence. She came with manifest signs of anger and indignation, +and began with a bold and direct charge against me of a shameful +assault on one of her daughters; of having used the basest of +means in order to lead her aside from the paths of rectitude; and, +on the failure of these, of having resorted to the most unqualified +measures. + +I denied the charge in all its bearings, assuring the dame that I +had never so much as seen either of her daughters to my +knowledge, far less wronged them; on which she got into great +wrath, and abused me to my face as an accomplished vagabond, +hypocrite, and sensualist; and she went so far as to tell me +roundly that if I did not marry her daughter, she would bring me +to the gallows and that in a very short time. + +"Marry your daughter, honest woman!" said I, "on the faith of a +Christian, I never saw your daughter; and you may rest assured in +this, that I will neither marry you nor her. Do you consider how +short a time I have been in this place? How much that time has +been occupied? And how there was even a possibility that I could +have accomplished such villainies?" + +"And how long does your Christian reverence suppose you have +remained in this place since the late laird's death?" said she. + +"That is too well known to need recapitulation," said I. "Only a +very few days, though I cannot at present specify the exact +number; perhaps from thirty to forty, or so. But in all that time, +certes, I have never seen either you or any of your two daughters +that you talk of. You must be quite sensible of that." + +My friend shook his head three times during this short sentence, +while the woman held up her hands in amazement and disgust, +exclaiming: "There goes the self-righteous one! There goes the +consecrated youth, who cannot err! You, sir, know, and the world +shall know, of the faith that is in this most just, devout, and +religious miscreant! Can you deny that you have already been in +this place four months and seven days? Or that in that time you +have been forbid my house twenty times? Or that you have +persevered in your endeavours to effect the basest and most +ungenerous of purposes? Or that you have attained them? +Hypocrite and deceiver as you are! Yes, sir; I say, dare you deny +that you have attained your vile, selfish, and degrading purposes +towards a young, innocent, and unsuspecting creature, and +thereby ruined a poor widow's only hope in this world? No, you +cannot look in my face, and deny aught of this." + +"The woman is raving mad!" said I. "You, illustrious sir, know +that, in the first instance, I have not yet been in this place one +month." My friend shook his head again, and answered me: "You +are wrong, my dear friend; you are wrong. It is indeed the space +of time that the lady hath stated, to a day, since you came here, +and I came with you; and I am sorry that I know for certain that +you have been frequently haunting her house, and have often had +private correspondence with one of the young ladies, too. Of the +nature of it I presume not to know." + +"You are mocking me," said I. "But as well may you try to reason +me out of my existence as to convince me that I have been here +even one month, or that any of those things you allege against me +has the shadow of truth or evidence to support it. I will swear to +you, by the great God that made me; and by--" + +"Hold, thou most abandoned profligate!" cried she violently, "and +do not add perjury to your other detestable crimes. Do not, for +mercy's sake, any more profane that name whose attributes you +have wrested and disgraced. But tell me what reparation you +propose offering to my injured child." + +"I again declare, before Heaven, woman, that, to the best of my +knowledge and recollection, I never saw your daughter. I now +think I have some faint recollection of having seen your face, but +where, or in what place, puzzles me quite." + +"And, why?" said she. "Because for months and days you have +been, in such a state of extreme inebriety, that your time has +gone over like a dream that has been forgotten. I believe that, +from the day you came first to my house, you have been in a state +of utter delirium, and that principally from the fumes of wine and +ardent spirits." + +"It is a manifest falsehood!" said I. "I have never, since I entered +on the possession of Dalcastle, tasted wine or spirits, saving once +a few evenings ago; and, I confess to my shame, that I was led +too far; but I have craved forgiveness and obtained it. I take my +noble and distinguished friend there for a witness to the truth of +what I assert; a man who has done more, and sacrificed more for +the sake of genuine Christianity than any this world contains. +Him you will believe." + +"I hope you have attained forgiveness," said he, seriously. +"Indeed it would be next to blasphemy to doubt it. But, of late, +you have been very much addicted to intemperance. I doubt if, +from the first night you tasted the delights of drunkenness, that +you have ever again been in your right mind until Monday last. +Doubtless you have been for a good while most diligent in your +addresses to this lady's daughter." + +"This is unaccountable," said I. "It is impossible that I can have +been doing a thing and not doing it at the same time. But indeed, +honest woman, there have several incidents occurred to me in the +course of my life which persuade me I have a second self; or that +there is some other being who appears in my likeness." + +Here my friend interrupted me with a sneer, and a hint that I was +talking insanely; and then he added, turning to the lady: "I know +my friend Mr. Colwan will do what is just and, right. Go and +bring the young lady to him, that he may see her, and he will then +recollect all his former amours with her!' + +"I humbly beg your pardon, sir," said I. "But the mention of such +a thing as amours with any woman existing, to me, is really so +absurd, so far from my principles, so from the purity of nature +and frame to which I was born and consecrated, that I hold it as +an insult, and regard it with contempt." + +I would have said more in reprobation of such an idea, had not +my servant entered, and said that a gentleman wanted to see me +on business. Being glad of an opportunity of getting quit of my +lady visitor, I ordered the servant to show him in; and forthwith a +little lean gentleman, with a long aquiline nose, and a bald head, +daubed all over with powder and pomatum, entered. I thought 1 +recollected having seen him too, but could not remember his +name, though he spoke to me with the greatest familiarity; at +least, that sort of familiarity that an official person generally +assumes. He bustled about and about, speaking to everyone, but +declined listening for a single moment to any. The lady offered to +withdraw, but he stopped her. + +"No, no, Mrs. Keeler, you need not go; you need not go; you +must not go, madam. The business I came about concerns you-- +yes, that it does. Bad business yon of Walker's? Eh? Could not +help it--did all I could, Mr. Wringhim. Done your business. Have +it all cut and dry here, sir. No, this is not it--Have it among them, +though.--I'm at a little loss for your name, sir (addressing my +friend)--seen you very often, though--exceedingly often--quite +well acquainted with you." + +"No, sir, you are not," said my friend, sternly. The intruder never +regarded him; never so much as lifted his eyes from his bundle of +law papers, among which he was bustling with great hurry and +importance, but went on: + +"Impossible! Have seen a face very like it, then--what did you say +your name was, sir?--very like it indeed. Is it not the young laird +who was murdered whom you resemble so much?" + +Here Mrs. Keeler uttered a scream, which so much startled me. +that it seems I grew pale, and, on looking at my friend's face, +there was something struck me so forcibly in the likeness +between him and my late brother that I had very nearly fainted. +The woman exclaimed that it was my brother's spirit that stood +beside me. + +"Impossible!" exclaimed the attorney. "At least, I hope not, else +his signature is not worth a pin. There is some balance due on yon +business, madam. Do you wish your account? because I have it +here, ready discharged, and it does not suit letting such things lie +over. This business of Mr. Colwan's will be a severe one on you, +madam--rather a severe one." + +"What business of mine, if it be your will, sir," said I. "For my +part I never engaged you in business of any sort less or more." He +never regarded me, but went on: "You may appeal, though. Yes, +yes, there are such things as appeals for the refractory. Here it is, +gentlemen. Here they are all together. Here is, in the first place, +sir, your power of attorney, regularly warranted, sealed, and +signed with your own hand." + +"I declare solemnly that I never signed that document," said I. + +"Aye, aye, the system of denial is not a bad one in general," said +my attorney. "But at present there is no occasion for it. You do +not deny your own hand?" + +"I deny everything connected with the business," cried I. "I +disclaim it in toto, and declare that I know no more about it than +the child unborn." + +"That is exceedingly good!" exclaimed he. "I like your pertinacity +vastly! I have three of your letters, and three of your signatures; +that part is all settled, and I hope so is the whole affair; for here is +the original grant to your father, which he has never thought +proper to put in requisition. Simple gentleman! But here have I, +Lawyer Linkum, in one hundredth part of the time that any other +notary, writer, attorney, or writer of the signet in Britain would +have done it, procured the signature of His Majesty's +commissioner, and thereby confirmed the charter to you and your +house, sir, for ever and ever--Begging your pardon, madam." The +lady, as well as myself, tried several times to interrupt the +loquacity of Linkum, but in vain: he only raised his hand with a +quick flourish, and went on: + +"Here it is: + +JAMES, by the grace of God, King of Great Britain, France, and +Ireland , to his right trusty cousin, sendeth greeting: And whereas +his right leal and trust-worthy cousin, George Colwan, of +Dalcastle and Balgrennan, hath suffered great losses, and +undergone much hardship, on behalf of his Majesty's rights and +titles; he therefore, for himself, and as prince and steward of +Scotland, and by the consent of his right trusty cousins and +councillors hereby grants to the said George Colwan, his heirs +and assignees whatsomever, heritably and irrevocably, all and +haill the lands and others underwritten: To wit, All and haill, the +five merk land of Kipplerig; the five pound land of Easter +Knockward, with all the towers, fortalices, manor-places, houses, +biggings, yards, orchards, tofts, crofts, mills, woods, fishings, +mosses, muirs, meadows, commonties, pasturages, coals, coal- +heughs, tennants, tenantries, services of free tenants, annexes, +connexes, dependencies, parts, pendicles, and pertinents of the +same whatsomever; to be peaceably brooked, joysed, set, used, +and disposed of by him and his aboves, as specified, heritably and +irrevocably, in all time coming: And, in testimony thereof, his +Majesty, for himself, and as prince steward of Scotland, with the +advice and consent of his foresaids, knowledge, proper motive, +and kingly power, makes, erects, creates, unites, annexes, and +incorporates, the whole lands above mentioned in a haill and free +barony, by all the rights, miethes, and marches thereof, old and +divided, as the same lies, in length and breadth, in houses, +biggings, mills, multures, hawking, bunting, fishing; with court, +plaint, herezeld, fock, fork, sack, sock, thole, thame, vert, wraik, +waith, wair, venison, outfang thief, infang thief, pit and gallows, +and all and sundry other commodities. Given at our Court of +Whitehall, &c., &c. God save the King. + +Compositio 5 lib. 13.8. + +Registrate 26th September 1687. + +"See, madam, here are ten signatures of privy councillors of that +year, and here are other ten of the present year, with His Grace +the Duke of Queensberry at the head. All right. See here it is, sir-- +all right--done your work. So you see, madam, this gentleman is +the true and sole heritor of all the land that your father possesses, +with all the rents thereof for the last twenty years, and upwards. +Fine job for my employers! Sorry on your account, madam--can't +help it." + +I was again going to disclaim all interest or connection in the +matter but my friend stopped me; and the plaints and +lamentations of the dame became so overpowering that they put +an end to all further colloquy; but Lawyer Linkum followed me, +and stated his great outlay, and the important services he had +rendered me, until I was obliged to subscribe an order to him for +L100 on my banker. + +I was now glad to retire with my friend, and ask seriously for +some explanation of all this. It was in the highest degree +unsatisfactory. He confirmed all that had been stated to me; +assuring me that I had not only been assiduous in my endeavours +to seduce a young lady of great beauty, which it seemed I had +effected, but that I had taken counsel, and got this supposed, old, +false, and forged grant raked up and now signed, to ruin the +young lady's family quite, so as to throw her entirely on myself +for protection, and be wholly at my will. + +This was to me wholly incomprehensible. I could have freely +made oath to the contrary of every particular. Yet the evidences +were against me, and of a nature not to be denied. Here I must +confess that, highly as I disapproved of the love of women, and +all intimacies and connections with the sex, I felt a sort of +indefinite pleasure, an ungracious delight in having a beautiful +woman solely at my disposal. But I thought of her spiritual good +in the meantime. My friend spoke of my backslidings with +concern; requesting me to make sure of my forgiveness, and to +forsake them; and then he added some words of sweet comfort. +But from this time forth I began to be sick at times of my +existence. I had heart-burnings, longings, and, yearnings that +would not be satisfied; and I seemed hardly to be an accountable +creature; being thus in the habit of executing transactions of the +utmost moment without being sensible that I did them. I was a +being incomprehensible to myself. Either I had a second self, who +transacted business in my likeness, or else my body was at times +possessed by a spirit over which it had no control, and of whose +actions my own soul was wholly unconscious. This was an +anomaly not to be accounted for by any philosophy of mine, and I +was many times, in contemplating it, excited to terrors and mental +torments hardly describable. To be in a state of consciousness and +unconsciousness, at the same time, in the same body and same +spirit, was impossible. I was under the greatest anxiety, dreading +some change would take place momently in my nature; for of +dates I could make nothing: one-half, or two-thirds of my time, +seemed to me totally lost. I often, about this time, prayed with +great fervour, and lamented my hopeless condition, especially in +being liable to the commission of crimes which I was not sensible +of and could not eschew. And I confess, notwithstanding the +promises on which I had been taught to rely, I began to have +secret terrors that the great enemy of man's salvation was +exercising powers over me that might eventually lead to my ruin. +These were but temporary and sinful fears, but they added greatly +to my unhappiness. + +The worst thing of all was what hitherto I had never felt, and, as +yet, durst not confess to myself, that the presence of my +illustrious and devoted friend was becoming irksome to me. +When I was by myself, I breathed freer, and my step was lighter; +but, when he approached, a pang went to my heart, and, in his +company, I moved and acted as if under a load that I could hardly +endure. What a state to be in! And yet to shake him off was +impossible--we were incorporated together--identified with one +another, as it were, and the power was not in me to separate +myself from him. I still knew nothing who he was, further than +that he was a potentate of some foreign land, bent on establishing +some pure and genuine doctrines of Christianity, hitherto only +half understood, and less than half exercised. Of this I could have +no doubts after all that he had said, done and suffered in the +cause. But, alongst with this, I was also certain that he was +possessed of some supernatural power, of the source of which I +was wholly ignorant. That a man could be a Christian and at the +same time a powerful necromancer, appeared inconsistent, and +adverse to every principle taught in our Church and from this I +was led to believe that he inherited his powers from on high, for I +could not doubt either of the soundness of his principles or that he +accomplished things impossible to account for. Thus was I +sojourning in the midst of a chaos of confusion. I looked back on +my by-past life with pain, as one looks back on a perilous +journey, in which he has attained his end, without gaining any +advantage either to himself or others; and I looked forward, as on +a darksome waste, full of repulsive and terrific shapes, pitfalls, +and precipices, to which there was no definite bourn, and from +which I turned with disgust. With my riches, my unhappiness was +increased tenfold; and here, with another great acquisition of +property, for which I had pleaed, and which I had gained in a +dream, my miseries and difficulties were increasing. My principal +feeling, about this time, was an insatiable longing for something +that I cannot describe or denominate properly, unless I say it was +for utter oblivion that I longed. I desired to sleep; but it was for a +deeper and longer sleep than that in which the senses were +nightly steeped. I longed to be at rest and quiet, and close my +eyes on the past and the future alike, as far as this frail life was +concerned. But what had been formerly and finally settled in the +councils above, I presumed not to call in question. + +In this state of irritation and misery was I dragging on an +existence, disgusted with all around me, and in particular with my +mother, who, with all her love and anxiety, had such an +insufferable mode of manifesting them that she had by this time +rendered herself exceedingly obnoxious to me. The very sound of +her voice at a distance went to my heart like an arrow, and made +all my nerves to shrink; and, as for the beautiful young lady for +whom they told me I had been so much enamoured, I shunned all +intercourse with her or hers, as I would have done with the Devil. +I read some of their letters and burnt them, but refused to see +either the young lady or her mother on any account. + +About this time it was that my worthy and reverend parent +came with one of his elders to see my mother and myself. His +presence always brought joy with it into our family, for my +mother was uplifted, and I had so few who cared for me, or for +whom I cared, that I felt rather gratified at seeing him. My +illustrious friend was also much more attached to him than any +other person (except myself) for their religious principles tallied +in every point, and their conversation was interesting, serious, +and sublime. Being anxious to entertain well and highly the +man to whom I had been so much indebted, and knowing that, +with all his integrity and righteousness, he disdained not the good +things of this life, I brought from the late laird's well-stored +cellars various fragrant and salubrious wines, and we drank, and +became merry, and I found that my miseries and overpowering +calamities passed away over my head like a shower that is driven +by the wind. I became elevated and happy, and welcomed my +guests an hundred times; and then I joined them in religious +conversation, with a zeal and enthusiasm which I had not often +experienced, and which made all their hearts rejoice, so that I said +to myself. "Surely every gift of God is a blessing, and ought to be +used with liberality and thankfulness." + +The next day I waked from a profound and feverish sleep, and +called for something to drink. There was a servant answered +whom I had never seen before, and he was clad in my servant's +clothes and livery. I asked for Andrew Handyside, the servant +who had waited at table the night before; but the man answered +with a stare and a smile: + +"What do you mean, sirrah," said I. "Pray what do you here? Or +what are you pleased to laugh at? I desire you to go about your +business, and send me up Handyside. I want him to bring me +something to drink." + +"Ye sanna want a drink, maister," said the fellow. "Tak a hearty +ane, and see if it will wauken ye up something, sae that ye dinna +ca' for ghaists through your sleep. Surely ye haena forgotten that +Andrew Handyside has been in his grave these six months?" + +This was a stunning blow to me. I could not answer further, but +sunk back on my pillow as if I had been a lump of lead, refusing +to take a drink or anything else at the fellow's hand, who seemed +thus mocking me with so grave a face. The man seemed sorry, +and grieved at my being offended, but I ordered him away, and +continued sullen and thoughtful. Could I have again been for a +season in utter oblivion to myself. and transacting business which +I neither approved of nor had any connection with! I tried to +recollect something in which I might have been engaged, but +nothing was portrayed on my mind subsequent to the parting with +my friends at a late hour the evening before. The evening before +it certainly was: but, if so, how came it that Andrew Handyside, +who served at table that evening, should have been in his grave +six months! This was a circumstance somewhat equivocal; +therefore, being afraid to arise lest accusations of I know not what +might come against me, I was obliged to call once more in order +to come at what intelligence I could. The same fellow appeared to +receive my orders as before, and I set about examining him with +regard to particulars. He told me his name was Scrape; that I +hired him myself; of whom I hired him; and at whose +recommendation I smiled, and nodded so as to let the knave see I +understood he was telling me a chain of falsehoods, but did not +choose to begin with any violent asseverations to the contrary. + +"And where is my noble friend and companion?" said I. "How +has he been engaged in the interim?" + +"I dinna ken him, sir," said Scrape, "but have heard it said that the +strange mysterious person that attended you, him that the maist +part of folks countit uncanny, had gane awa wi' a Mr. Ringan o' +Glasko last year, and had never returned." + +I thanked the Lord in my heart for this intelligence, hoping that +the illustrious stranger had returned to his own land and people, +and that I should thenceforth be rid of his controlling and +appalling presence. "And where is my mother?" said, I. The man's +breath cut short, and he looked at me without returning any +answer.--"I ask you where my mother is?" said I. + +"God only knows, and not I, where she is," returned he. "He +knows where her soul is, and, as for her body, if you dinna ken +something o' it, I suppose nae man alive does." + +"What do you mean, you knave?" said I. "What dark hints are +these you are throwing out? Tell me precisely and distinctly what +you know of my mother?" + +"It is unco queer o' ye to forget, or pretend to forget everything +that gate the day, sir," said he. 'I'm sure you heard enough about it +yestreen; an' I can tell you there are some gayan ill-faurd stories +gaun about that business. But, as the thing is to be tried afore the +circuit lords, it wad be far wrang to say either this or that to +influence the public mind; it is best just to let justice tak its swee. +I hae naething to say, sir. Ye hae been a good enough maister to +me, and paid my wages regularly, but ye hae muckle need to be +innocent, for there are some heavy accusations rising against +you." + +"I fear no accusations of man," said I, "as long as I can justify my +cause in the sight of Heaven; and that I can do this I am well +aware. Go you and bring me some wine and water, and some +other clothes than these gaudy and glaring ones." + +I took a cup of wine and water; put on my black clothes and +walked out. For all the perplexity that surrounded me, I felt my +spirits considerably buoyant. It appeared that I was rid of the two +greatest bars to my happiness, by what agency I knew not. My +mother, it seemed, was gone, who had become a grievous thorn in +my side of late; and my great companion and counsellor, who +tyrannized over every spontaneous movement of my heart, had +likewise taken himself off. This last was an unspeakable relief; +for I found that for a long season I had only been able to act by +the motions of his mysterious mind and spirit. I therefore thanked +God for my deliverance, and strode through my woods with a +daring and heroic step; with independence in my eye, and +freedom swinging in my right hand. + +At the extremity of the Colwan wood, I perceived a figure +approaching me with slow and dignified motion. The moment +that I beheld it, my whole frame received a shock as if the ground +on which I walked had sunk suddenly below me. Yet, at that +moment, I knew not who it was; it was the air and motion of +someone that I dreaded, and from whom I would gladly have +escaped; but this I even had not power to attempt. It came slowly +onward, and I advanced as slowly to meet it; yet, when we came +within speech, I still knew not who it was. It bore the figure, air, +and features of my late brother, I thought, exactly; yet in all these +there were traits so forbidding, so mixed with an appearance of +misery, chagrin and despair, that I still shrunk from the view, not +knowing in whose face I looked. But, when the being spoke, both +my mental and bodily frame received another shock more terrible +than the first, for it was the voice of the great personage I had so +long denominated my friend, of whom I had deemed myself for +ever freed, and whose presence and counsels I now dreaded more +than Hell. It was his voice, but so altered--I shall never forget it +till my dying day. Nay, I can scarce conceive it possible that any +earthly sounds could be so discordant, so repulsive to every +feeling of a human soul, as the tones of the voice that grated on +my ear at that moment. They were the sounds of the pit, wheezed +through a grated cranny, or seemed so to my distempered +imagination. + +"So! Thou shudderest at my approach now, dost thou?" said he. +"Is this all the gratitude that you deign for an attachment of which +the annals of the world furnish no parallel? An attachment which +has caused me to forego power and dominion, might, homage, +conquest and adulation: all that I might gain one highly valued +and sanctified spirit to my great and true, principles of +reformation among mankind. Wherein have I offended? What +have I done for evil, or what have I not done for your good; that +you would thus shun my presence?" + +"Great and magnificent prince," said I humbly; "let me request of +you to abandon a poor worthless wight to his own wayward +fortune, and return to the dominion of your people. I am +unworthy of the sacrifices you have made for my sake; and, after +all your efforts, I do not feel that you have rendered either more +virtuous or more happy. For the sake of that which is estimable +in human nature, depart from me to your own home, before you +render me a being either altogether above or below the rest of my +fellow creatures. Let me plod on towards Heaven and happiness +in my own way, like those that have gone before me, and I +promise to stick fast by the great principles which you have so +strenuously inculcated, on condition that you depart and leave me +for ever." + +"Sooner shall you make the mother abandon the child of her +bosom; nay, sooner cause the shadow to relinquish the substance, +than separate me from your side. Our beings are amalgamated, as +it were, and consociated in one, and never shall I depart from this +country until I can carry you in triumph with me." + +I can in nowise describe the effect this appalling speech had on +me. It was like the announcement of death to one who had of late +deemed himself free, if not of something worse than death, and of +longer continuance. There was I doomed to remain in misery, +subjugated, soul and body, to one whose presence was become +more intolerable to me than aught on earth could compensate. +And at that moment, when he beheld the anguish of my soul, he +could not conceal that he enjoyed it. I was troubled for an answer, +for which he was waiting: it became incumbent on me to say +something after such a protestation of attachment; and, in some +degree to shake the validity of it, I asked, with great simplicity, +where he had been all this while? + +"Your crimes and your extravagances forced me from your side +for a season," said he, "but now that I hope the day of grace is +returned, I am again drawn towards you by an affection that has +neither bounds nor interest; an affection for which I receive not +even the poor return of gratitude, and which seems to have its +radical sources in fascination. I have been far, far abroad, and +have seen much, and transacted much, since I last spoke with +you. During that space, I grievously suspect that you have been +guilty of great crimes and misdemeanours, crimes that would +have sunk an unregenerated person to perdition; but as I knew it +to be only a temporary falling off, a specimen of that liberty by +which the chosen and elected ones are made free, I closed my +eyes on the wilful debasement of our principles, knowing that the +transgressions could never be accounted to your charge, and that +in good time you would come to your senses, and throw the +whole weight of your crimes on the shoulders that had voluntarily +stooped to receive the load." + +"Certainly I will," said I, "as I and all the justified have a good +right to do. But what crimes? What misdemeanours and +transgressions do you talk about? For my part, I am conscious of +none, and am utterly amazed at insinuations which I do not +comprehend." + +"You have certainly been left to yourself for a season," returned +he, "having gone on rather like a person in a delirium than a +Christian in his sober sense. You are accused of having made +away with your mother privately; as also of the death of a +beautiful young lady, whose affections you had seduced." + +"It is an intolerable and monstrous falsehood!" cried I, +interrupting, him. "I never laid a hand on a woman to take away +her life, and have even shunned their society from my childhood. +I know nothing of my mother's exit; nor of that young lady's +whom you mention. Nothing whatever." + +"I hope it is so," said he. "But it seems there are some strong +presumptuous proofs against you, and I came to warn you this +day that a precognition is in progress, and that unless you are +perfectly convinced, not only of your innocence but of your +ability to prove it, it will be the safest course for you to abscond, +and let the trial go on without you." + +"Never shall it be said that I shrunk from such a trial as this," said +I. "It would give grounds for suspicions of guilt that never had +existence, even in thought. I will go and show myself in every +public place, that no slanderous tongue may wag against me. I +have shed the blood of sinners, but of these deaths I am guiltless; +therefore I will face every tribunal, and put all my accusers +down." + +"Asseveration will avail you but little," answered he, +composedly. "It is, however, justifiable in its place, although to +me it signifies nothing, who know too well that you did commit +both crimes, in your own person, and with your own hands. Far +be it from me to betray you; indeed, I would rather endeavour to +palliate the offences; for, though adverse to nature, I can prove +them not to be so to the cause of pure Christianity, by the mode +of which we have approved of it, and which we wish to +promulgate." + +"If this that you tell me be true," said I, "then is it as true that I +have two souls, which take possession of my bodily frame by +turns, the one being all unconscious of what the other performs; +for as sure as I have at this moment a spirit within me, fashioned +and destined to eternal felicity, as sure am I utterly ignorant of the +crimes you now lay to my charge." + +"Your supposition may be true in effect," said he. "We are all +subjected to two distinct natures in the same person. I myself +have suffered grievously in that way. The spirit that now directs +my energies is not that with which I was endowed at my creation. +It is changed within me, and so is my whole nature. My former +days were those of grandeur and felicity. But, would you believe +it? I was not then a Christian. Now I am. I have been converted to +its truths by passing through the fire, and, since my final +conversion, my misery has been extreme. You complain that I +have not been able to render you more happy than you were. +Alas! do you expect it in the difficult and exterminating career +which you have begun? I, however, promise you this--a portion +of the only happiness which I enjoy, sublime in its motions, and +splendid in its attainments--I will place you on the right hand of +my throne, and show you the grandeur of my domains, and the +felicity of my millions of true professors." + +I was once more humbled before this mighty potentate, and +promised to be ruled wholly by his directions, although at that +moment my nature shrunk from the concessions, and my soul +longed rather to be inclosed in the deeps of the sea, or involved +once more in utter oblivion. I was like Daniel in the den of lions, +without his faith in Divine support, and wholly at their mercy. I +felt as one round whose body a deadly snake is twisted, which +continues to hold him in its fangs, without injuring him, further +than in moving its scaly infernal folds with exulting delight, to let +its victim feel to whose power he has subjected himself; and thus +did I for a space drag an existence from day to day, in utter +weariness and helplessness; at one time worshipping with great +fervour of spirit, and at other times so wholly left to myself as to +work all manner of vices and follies with greediness. In these my +enlightened friend never accompanied me, but I always observed +that he was the first to lead me to every one of them, and then +leave me in the lurch. The next day, after these my fallings off, he +never failed to reprove me gently, blaming me for my venial +transgressions; but then he had the art of reconciling all, by +reverting to my justified and infallible state, which I found to +prove a delightful healing salve for every sore. + +But, of all my troubles, this was the chief. I was every day and +every hour assailed with accusations of deeds of which I was +wholly ignorant; of acts of cruelty, injustice, defamation, and +deceit; of pieces of business which I could not be made to +comprehend; with lawsuits, details, arrestments of judgment, and +a thousand interminable quibbles from the mouth of my +loquacious and conceited attorney. So miserable was my life +rendered by these continued attacks that I was often obliged to +lock myself up for days together, never seeing any person save +my man Samuel Scrape, who was a very honest blunt fellow, a +staunch Cameronian, but withal very little conversant in religious +matters. He said he came from a place called Penpunt, which I +thought a name so ludicrous that I called him by the name of his +native village, an appellation of which he was very proud, and +answered everything with more civility and perspicuity when I +denominated him Penpunt, than Samuel, his own Christian name. +Of this peasant was I obliged to make a companion on sundry +occasions, and strange indeed were the details which he gave me +concerning myself, and the ideas of the country people +concerning me. I took down a few of these in writing, to put off +the time, and here leave them on record to show how the best and +greatest actions are misconstrued among sinful and ignorant men: + +"You say, Samuel, that I hired you myself--that I have been a +good enough master to you, and have paid you your weekly +wages punctually. Now, how is it that you say this, knowing, as +you do, that I never hired you, and never paid you a sixpence of +wages in the whole course of my life, excepting this last month?" + +"Ye may as weel say, master, that water's no water, or that, stanes +are no stanes. But that's just your gate, an' it's a great pity, aye to +do a thing an profess the clean contrair. Weel then, since you +havena paid me ony wages, an' I can prove day and date when I +was hired, an' came hame to your service, will you be sae kind as +to pay me now? That's the best way o' curing a man o' the mortal +disease o' leasing-making that I ken o'." + +"I should think that Penpunt and Cameronian principles would +not admit of a man taking twice payment for the same article." + +"In sic a case as this, sir, it disna hinge upon principles, but a +piece o' good manners; an' I can tell you that, at sic a crisis, a +Cameronian is a gay-an weel-bred man. He's driven to this, and +he maun either make a breach in his friend's good name, or in his +purse; an' oh, sir, whilk o' thae, think you, is the most precious? +For instance, an a Galloway drover had comed to the town o' +Penpunt, an' said to a Cameronian (the folk's a' Cameronians +there), 'Sir, I want to buy your cow,' 'Vera weel,' says the +Cameronian, 'I just want to sell the cow, sae gie me twanty punds +Scots, an' take her w' ye.' It's a bargain. The drover takes away the +cow, an' gies the Cameronian his twanty pund Scots. But after +that, he meets him again on the white sands, amang a' the drovers +an' dealers o' the land, an' the Gallowayman, he says to the +Cameronian, afore a' thae witnesses, 'Come, Master Whiggam, I +hae never paid you for yon bit useless cow that I bought. I'll pay +her the day, but you maun mind the luck-penny; there's muckle +need for 't'--or something to that purpose. The Cameronian then +turns out to be a civil man, an' canna bide to make the man baith +a feele an' liar at the same time, afore a' his associates; an' +therefore he pits his principles aff at the side, to be kind o' +sleepin' partner, as it war, an' brings up his good breeding to stand +at the counter: he pockets the money, gies the Galloway drover +time o' day, an' comes his way. An' wha's to blame? Man mind +yoursel is the first commandment. A Cameronian's principles +never came atween him an' his purse, nor sanna in the present +case; for, as I canna bide to make you out a leear, I'll thank you +for my wages." + +"Well, you shall have them, Samuel, if you declare to me that I +hired you myself in this same person, and bargained with you +with this same tongue and voice with which I speak to you just +now." + +"That I do declare, unless ye hae twa persons o' the same +appearance, and twa tongues to the same voice. But, 'od saif us, +sir, do you ken what the auld wives o' the clachan say about +you?" + +"How should I, when no one repeats it to me?" + +"Oo, I trow it's a' stuff--folk shouldna heed what's said by auld +crazy kimmers. But there are some o' them weel kend for witches, +too; an' they say, 'Lord have a care o' us!' They say the deil's often +seen gaun sidie for sidie w' ye, whiles in ae shape, an' whiles in +another. An' they say that he whiles takes your ain shape, or else +enters into you, and then you turn a deil yoursel." + +I was so astounded at this terrible idea that had gone abroad, +regarding my fellowship with the Prince of Darkness, that I could +make no answer to the fellow's information, but sat like one in a +stupor; and if it had not been for my well-founded faith, and +conviction that I was a chosen and elected one before the world +was made, I should at that moment have given in to the popular +belief, and fallen into the sin of despondency; but I was preserved +from such a fatal error by an inward and unseen supporter. Still +the insinuation was so like what I felt myself that I was greatly +awed and confounded. + +The poor fellow observed this, and tried to do away the +impression by some further sage remarks of his own. + +"Hout, dear sir, it is balderdash, there's nae doubt o't. It is the +crownhead o' absurdity to tak in the havers o' auld wives for +gospel. I told them that my master was a peeous man, an' a +sensible man; an', for praying, that he could ding auld Macmillan +himsel. 'Sae could the deil,' they said, 'when he liket, either at +preaching or praying, if these war to answer his ain ends.' 'Na, +na,' says I, 'but he's a strick believer in a' the truths o' Christianity, +my master.' They said, sae was Satan, for that he was the firmest +believer in a' the truths of Christianity that was out o' Heaven; an' +that, sin' the Revolution that the Gospel had turned sae rife, he +had been often driven to the shift o' preaching it himsel, for the +purpose o' getting some wrang tenets introduced into it, and +thereby turning it into blasphemy and ridicule." + +I confess, to my shame, that I was so overcome by this jumble of +nonsense that a chillness came over me, and, in spite of all my +efforts to shake off the impression it had made, I fell into a faint. +Samuel soon brought me to myself, and, after a deep draught of +wine and water, I was greatly revived, and felt my spirit rise +above the sphere of vulgar conceptions and the restrained views +of unregenerate men. The shrewd but loquacious fellow, +perceiving this, tried to make some amends for the pain he had +occasioned to me by the following story, which I noted down, +and which was brought on by a conversation to the following +purport: + +"Now, Penpunt, you may tell me all that passed between you and +the wives of the clachan. I am better of that stomach qualm, with +which I am sometimes seized, and shall be much amused by +hearing the sentiments of noted witches regarding myself and my +connections." + +"Weel, you see, sir, I says to them, 'It will be lang afore the deil +intermeddle wi' as serious a professor, and as fervent a prayer as +my master, for, gin he gets the upper hand o' sickan men, wha's to +be safe?' An', what think ye they said, sir? There was ane Lucky +Shaw set up her lang lantern chafts, an' answered me, an' a' the +rest shanned and noddit in assent an' approbation: 'Ye silly, +sauchless, Cameronian cuif!' quo she, 'is that a' that ye ken about +the wiles and doings o' the Prince o' the Air, that rules an' works +in the bairns of disobedience? Gin ever he observes a proud +professor, wha has mae than ordinary pretensions to a divine +calling, and that reards and prays till the very howlets learn his +preambles, that's the man Auld Simmie fixes on to mak a +dishclout o'. He canna get rest in Hell, if he sees a man, or a set of +men o' this stamp, an, when he sets fairly to work, it is seldom +that he disna bring them round till his ain measures by hook or by +crook. Then, Oh! it is a grand prize for him, an' a proud Deil he +is, when he gangs hame to his ain ha', wi' a batch o' the souls o' +sic strenuous professors on his back. Aye, I trow, auld Ingleby, +the Liverpool packman, never came up Glasco street wi' prouder +pomp when he had ten horse-laids afore him o' Flanders lace, an' +Hollin lawn, an' silks an' satins frae the eastern Indians, than +Satan wad strodge into Hell with a packlaid o' the souls o' proud +professors on his braid shoulders. Ha, ha, ha! I think I see how +the auld thief wad be gaun through his gizened dominions, crying +his wares, in derision, "Wha will buy a fresh, cauler divine, a +bouzy bishop, a fasting zealot, or a piping priest?" For a' their +prayers an' their praises, their aumuses, an' their penances, their +whinings, their howlings, their rantings, an' their ravings, here +they come at last! Behold the end! Here go the rare and precious +wares! A fat professor for a bodle, an' a lean ane for half a merk!' +I declare I trembled at the auld hag's ravings, but the lave o' the +kimmers applauded the sayings as sacred truths. An' then Lucky +went on: 'There are many wolves in sheep's claithing, among us, +my man; mony deils aneath the masks o' zealous professors, +roaming about in kirks and meetinghouses o' the land. It was but +the year afore the last that the people o' the town o' +Auchtermuchty grew so rigidly righteous that the meanest hind +among them became a shining light in ither towns an' parishes. +There was naught to be heard, neither night nor day, but +preaching, praying, argumentation, an' catechising in a' the +famous town o' Auchtermuchty. The young men wooed their +sweethearts out o' the Song o' Solomon, an' the girls returned +answers in strings o' verses out o' the Psalms. At the lint-swinglings, +they said questions round; and read chapters, and sang hymns at +bridals; auld and young prayed in their dreams, an' prophesied in +their sleep, till the deils in the farrest nooks o' Hell were alarmed, +and moved to commotion. Gin it hadna been an auld carl, Robin +Ruthven, Auchtermuchty wad at that time hae been ruined and +lost for ever. But Robin was a cunning man, an' had rather mae +wits than his ain, for he had been in the hands o' the fairies when +he was young, an' a' kinds o' spirits were visible to his een, an' +their language as familiar to him as his ain mother tongue. Robin +was sitting on the side o' the West Lowmond, ae still gloomy +night in September, when he saw a bridal o' corbie craws coming +east the lift, just on the edge o' the gloaming. The moment that +Robin saw them, he kenned, by their movements, that they were +craws o' some ither warld than this; so he signed himself, and +crap into the middle o' his bourock. The corbie craws came a' an' +sat down round about him, an' they poukit their black sooty +wings, an' spread them out to the breeze to cool; and Robin heard +ae corbie speaking, an' another answering him; and the tane said +to the tither: "Where will the ravens find a prey the night?" "On +the lean crazy souls o' Auchtermuchty," quo the tither. "I fear +they will be o'er weel wrappit up in the warm flannens o' faith, an +clouted wi' the dirty duds o' repentance, for us to mak a meal o'," +quo the first. "Whaten vile sounds are these that I hear coming +bumming up the hill?" "Oh, these are the hymns and praises o' the +auld wives and creeshy louns o' Auchtermuchty, wha are gaun +crooning their way to Heaven; an', gin it warna for the shame o' +being beat, we might let our great enemy tak them. For sic a prize +as he will hae! Heaven, forsooth! What shall we think o' Heaven, +if it is to be filled wi' vermin like thae, amang whom there is mair +poverty and pollution than I can name." "No matter for that," said +the first, "we cannot have our power set at defiance; though we +should put them on the thief's hole, we must catch them, and +catch them with their own bait, too. Come all to church to- +morrow, and I'll let you hear how I'll gull the saints of +Auchtermuchty. in the meantime, there is a feast on the Sidlaw +hills tonight, below the hill of Macbeth--Mount, Diabolus, and +fly." Then, with loud croaking and crowing, the bridal of corbies +again scaled the dusky air, and left Robin Ruthven in the middle +of his cairn. + +"'The next day the congregation met in the kirk of +Auchtermuchty, but the minister made not his appearance. The +elder ran out and in making inquiries; but they could learn +nothing, save that the minister was missing. They ordered the +clerk to sing a part of the 119th Psalm, until they saw if the +minister would cast up. The clerk did as he was ordered, and, by +the time he reached the 77th verse, a strange divine entered the +church, by the western door, and advanced solemnly up to the +pulpit. The eyes of all the congregation were riveted on the +sublime stranger, who was clothed in a robe of black sackcloth, +that flowed all around him, and trailed far behind, and they +weened him an angel, come to exhort them, in disguise. He read +out his text from the Prophecies of Ezekiel, which consisted of +these singular words: "I will overturn, overturn, overturn it; and it +shall be no more, until he come, whose right it is, and I will give +it him." + +"'From these words he preached such a sermon as never was +heard by human ears, at least never by ears of Auchtermuchty. It +was a true, sterling, gospel sermon--it was striking, sublime, and +awful in the extreme. He finally made out the IT, mentioned in +the text, to mean, properly and positively, the notable town of +Auchtermuchty. He proved all the people in it, to their perfect +satisfaction, to be in the gall of bitterness and bond of iniquity, +and he assured them that God would overturn them, their +principles, and professions; and that they should be no more, until +the Devil, the town's greatest enemy, came, and then it should be +given unto him for a prey, for it was his right, and to him it +belonged, if there was not forthwith a radical change made in all +their opinions and modes of worship. + +"'The inhabitants of Auchtermuchty were electrified--they were +charmed; they were actually raving mad about the grand and +sublime truths delivered to them by this eloquent and impressive +preacher of Christianity. "He is a prophet of the Lord," said one, +"sent to warn us, as Jonah was sent to the Ninevites." "Oh, he is +an angel sent from Heaven, to instruct this great city," said +another, "for no man ever uttered truths so sublime before." The +good people of Auchtermuchty were in perfect raptures with the +preacher, who had thus sent them to Hell by the slump, tag-rag, +and bobtail! Nothing in the world delights a truly religious people +so much as consigning them to eternal damnation. They +wandered after the preacher--they crowded together, and spoke of +his sermon with admiration, and still, as they conversed, the +wonder and the admiration increased; so that honest Robin +Ruthven's words would not be listened to. It was in vain that he +told them he heard a raven speaking, and another raven +answering him: the people laughed him to scorn, and kicked him +out of their assemblies, as a one who spoke evil of dignities; and +they called him a warlock, an' a daft body, to think to mak +language out o' the crouping o' craws. + +"'The sublime preacher could not be heard of, although all the +country was sought for him, even to the minutest corner of St. +Johnston and Dundee; but as he had announced another sermon +on the same text, on a certain day, all the inhabitants of that +populous country, far and near, flocked to Auchtermuchty. Cupar, +Newburgh, and Strathmiglo, turned out men, women and +children. Perth and Dundee gave their thousands; and, from the +East Nook of Fife to the foot of the Grampian hills, there was +nothing but running and riding that morning to Auchtermuchty. +The kirk would not hold the thousandth part of them. A splendid +tent was erected on the brae north of the town, and round that the +countless congregation assembled. When they were all waiting +anxiously for the great preacher, behold, Robin Ruthven set up +his head in the tent, and warned his countrymen to beware of the +doctrines they were about to hear, for he could prove, to their +satisfaction, that they were all false, and tended to their +destruction! + +"'The whole multitude raised a cry of indignation against Robin, +and dragged him from the tent, the elders rebuking him, and the +multitude threatening to resort to stronger measures; and, though +he told them a plain and unsophisticated tale of the black corbies, +he was only derided. The great preacher appeared once more, and +went through his two discourses with increased energy and +approbation. All who heard him were amazed, and many of them +went into fits, writhing and foaming in a state of the most horrid +agitation. Robin Ruthven sat on the outskirts of the great +assembly, listening with the rest, and perceived what they, in the +height of their enthusiasm, perceived not the ruinous tendency of +the tenets so sublimely inculcated. Robin kenned the voice of his +friend the corby-craw again, and was sure he could not be wrong: +sae, when public worship was finished, a' the elders an' a' the +gentry flocked about the great preacher, as he stood on the green +brae in the sight of the hale congregation, an' a' war alike anxious +to pay him some mark o' respect. Robin Ruthven came in amang +the thrang, to try to effect what he had promised; and, with the +greatest readiness and simplicity, just took baud o' the side o' the +wide gown, and, in sight of a' present, held it aside as high as the +preacher's knee, and, behold, there was a pair o' cloven feet! The +auld thief was fairly catched in the very height o' his proud +conquest, an' put down by an auld carl. He could feign nae mair, +but, gnashing on Robin wi' his teeth, he dartit into the air like a +fiery dragon, an' keust a reid rainbow o'er the taps o' the +Lowmonds. + +"'A' the auld wives an weavers o' Auchtermuchty fell down flat +wi' affright, an' betook them to their prayers aince again, for they +saw the dreadfu' danger they had escapit, an' frae that day to this +it is a hard matter to gar an Auchtermuchty man listen to a +sermon at a', an' a harder ane still to gar him applaud ane, for he +thinks aye that he sees the cloven foot peeping out frae aneath +ilka sentence. + +"'Now, this is a true story, my man,' quo the auld wife, 'an', +whenever you are doubtfu' of a man, take auld Robin Ruthven's +plan, an' look for the cloven foot, for it's a thing that winna weel +hide; an' it appears whiles where ane wadna think o't. It will keek +out frae aneath the parson's gown, the lawyer's wig, and the +Cameronian's blue bannet; but still there is a gouden rule +whereby to detect it, an' that never, never fails.' The auld witch +didna gie me the rule, an' though I hae heard tell o't often an' +often, shame fa' me an I ken what it is! But ye will ken it well, an' +it wad be nae the waur of a trial on some o' your friends, maybe; +for they say there's a certain gentleman seen walking wi' you +whiles, that, wherever he sets his foot, the grass withers as gin it +war scoudered wi' a het ern. His presence be about us! What's the +matter wi' you, master. Are ye gaun to take the calm o' the +stamock again?" + +The truth is, that the clown's absurd story, with the still more +ridiculous application, made me sick at heart a second time. It +was not because I thought my illustrious friend was the Devil, or +that I took a fool's idle tale as a counterbalance to Divine +revelation that had assured me of my justification in the sight of +God before the existence of time. But, in short, it gave me a view +of my own state, at which I shuddered, as indeed I now always +did when the image of my devoted friend and ruler presented +itself to my mind. I often communed, with my heart on this, and +wondered how a connection, that had the well-being of mankind +solely in view, could be productive of fruits so bitter. I then went +to try my works by the Saviour's golden rule, as my servant had +put it into my head to do; and, behold, not one of them could +stand the test. I had shed blood on a ground on which I could not +admit that any man had a right to shed mine; and I began to doubt +the motives of my adviser once more, not that they were +intentionally bad, but that his was some great mind led astray by +enthusiasm or some overpowering passion. + +He seemed to comprehend every one of these motions of my +heart, for his manner towards me altered every day. It first +became anything but agreeable, then supercilious, and, finally, +intolerable; so that I resolved to shake him off, cost what it +would, even though I should be reduced to beg my bread in a +foreign land. To do it at home was impossible, as he held my life +in his hands, to sell it whenever he had a mind; and, besides, his +ascendancy over me was as complete as that of a huntsman over +his dogs: I was even so weak as, the next time I met with him, to +look steadfastly at his foot, to see if it was not cloven into two +hoofs. It was the foot of a gentleman in every respect, so far as +appearances went, but the form of his counsels was somewhat +equivocal, and, if not double, they were amazingly crooked. + +But, if I had taken my measures to abscond and fly from my +native place, in order to free myself of this tormenting, intolerant, +and bloody reformer, he had likewise taken his to expel me, or +throw me into the hands of justice. It seems that, about this time, I +was haunted by some spies connected with my late father and +brother, of whom the mistress of the former was one. My +brother's death had been witnessed by two individuals; indeed, I +always had an impression that it was witnessed by more than one, +having some faint recollection of hearing voices and challenges +close beside me; and this woman had searched about until she +found these people; but, as I shrewdly suspected, not without the +assistance of the only person in my secret--my own warm and +devoted friend. I say this, because I found that he had them +concealed in the neighbourhood, and then took me again and +again where I was fully exposed to their view, without being +aware. One time in particular, on pretence of gratifying my +revenge on that base woman, he knew so well where she lay +concealed that he led me to her, and left me to the mercy of two +viragos who had very nigh taken my life. My time of residence at +Dalcastle was wearing to a crisis. I could no longer live with my +tyrant, who haunted me like my shadow; and, besides, it seems +there were proofs of murder leading against me from all quarters. +Of part of these I deemed myself quite free, but the world deemed +otherwise; and how the matter would have gone God only knows, +for, the case never having undergone a judicial trial, I do not. It +perhaps, however, behoves me here to relate all that I know of it, +and it is simply this: + +On the first of June,1712 (well may I remember the day), I was +sitting locked in my secret chamber, in a state of the utmost +despondency, revolving in my mind what I ought to do to be free +of my persecutors, and wishing myself a worm, or a moth, that I +might be crushed and at rest, when behold Samuel entered, with +eyes like to start out of his head, exclaiming: "For God's sake, +master, fly and hide yourself, for your mother's found, an' as sure +as you're a living soul, the blame is gaun to fa' on you!" + +"My mother found!" said I. "And, pray, where has she been all +this while?" In the meantime, I was terribly discomposed at the +thoughts of her return. + +"Been, sir! Been? Why, she has been where ye pat her, it seems-- +lying buried in the sands o' the linn. I can tell you, ye will see her +a frightsome figure, sic as I never wish to see again. An' the +young lady is found too, sir: an' it is said the Devil--I beg pardon, +sir, your friend, I mean--it is said your friend has made the +discovery, an' the folk are away to raise officers, an' they will be +here in an hour or two at the farthest, sir; an' sae you hae not a +minute to lose, for there's proof, sir, strong proof, an' sworn +proof, that ye were last seen wi' them baith; sae, unless ye can gie +a' the better an account o' baith yoursel an' them either hide or +flee for your bare life." + +"I will neither hide nor fly," said I, "for I am as guiltless of the +blood of these women as the child unborn." + +"The country disna think sae, master; an' I can assure you that, +should evidence fail, you run a risk o' being torn limb frae limb. +They are bringing the corpse here, to gar ye touch them baith +afore witnesses, an' plenty o' witnesses there will be!" + +"They shall not bring them here," cried I, shocked beyond +measure at the experiment about to be made. "Go, instantly and +debar them from entering my gate with their bloated and mangled +carcases!" + +"The body of your own mother, sir!" said the fellow +emphatically. I was in terrible agitation; and, being driven to my +wits' end, I got up and strode furiously round and round the room. +Samuel wist not what to do, but I saw by his staring he deemed +me doubly guilty. A tap came to the chamber door: we both +started like guilty creatures; and as for Samuel, his hairs stood all +on end with alarm, so that, when I motioned to him, he could +scarcely advance to open the door. He did so at length, and who +should enter but my illustrious friend, manifestly in the utmost +state of alarm. The moment that Samuel admitted him, the former +made his escape by the prince's side as he entered, seemingly in a +state of distraction. I was little better, when I saw this dreaded +personage enter my chamber, which he had never before +attempted; and. being unable to ask his errand, I suppose I stood +and gazed on him like a statue. + +"I come with sad and tormenting tidings to you, my beloved and +ungrateful friend," said he, "but, having only a minute left to save +your life, I have come to attempt it. There is a mob coming +towards you with two dead bodies, which will place you in +circumstances disagreeable enough: but that is not the worst, for +of that you may be able to clear yourself. At this moment there is +a party of officers, with a justiciary warrant from Edinburgh, +surrounding the house, and about to begin the search of it for you. +If you fall into their hands, you are inevitably lost; for I have been +making earnest inquiries, and find that everything is in train for +your ruin." + +"Aye, and who has been the cause of all this?" said I, with great +bitterness. But he stopped me short, adding, "There is no time for +such reflections at present; I gave my word of honour, that your +life should be safe from the hand of man. So it shall, if the power +remain with me to save it. I am come to redeem my pledge, and +to save your life by the sacrifice of my own. Here--not one word +of expostulation, change habits with me, and you may then pass +by the officers, and guards, and even through the approaching +mob, with the most perfect temerity. There is a virtue in this garb, +and, instead of offering to detain you, they shall pay you +obeisance. Make haste, and leave this place for the present, flying +where you best may, and, if I escape from these dangers that +surround me, I will endeavour to find you out, and bring you +what intelligence I am able." + +I put on his green frock coat, buff belt, and a sort of a turban that +he always wore on his head, somewhat resembling a bishop's +mitre: he drew his hand thrice across my face, and I withdrew as +he continued to urge me. My hall door and postern gate were both +strongly guarded, and there were sundry armed people within, +searching the closets; but all of them made way for me, and lifted +their caps as I passed by them. Only one superior officer accosted +me, asking if I had seen the culprit. I knew not what answer to +make, but chanced to say, with great truth and propriety: "He is +safe enough." The man beckoned with a smile, as much as to say: +"Thank you, sir, that is quite sufficient," and I walked +deliberately away. + +I had not well left the gate till, hearing a great noise coming from +the deep glen towards the east, I turned that way, deeming myself +quite secure in this my new disguise, to see what it was, and if +matters were as had been described to me. There I met a great +mob, sure enough, coming with two dead bodies stretched on +boards, and decently covered with white sheets. I would fain have +examined their appearance, had I not perceived the apparent fury +in the looks of the men, and judged from that how much more +safe it was for me not to intermeddle in the affray. I cannot tell +how it was, but I felt a strange and unwonted delight in viewing +this scene, and a certain pride of heart in being supposed the +perpetrator of the unnatural crimes laid to my charge. This was a +feeling quite new to me; and if there were virtues in the robes of +the illustrious foreigner, who had without all dispute preserved +my life at this time: I say, if there was any inherent virtue in these +robes of his, as he had suggested, this was one of their effects' +that they turned my heart towards that which was evil, horrible, +and disgustful. + +I mixed with the mob to hear what they were saying. Every +tongue was engaged in loading me with the most opprobrious +epithets! One called me a monster of nature; another an incarnate +devil; and another a creature made to be cursed in time and +eternity. I retired from them and, winded my way southwards, +comforting myself with the assurance that so mankind had used +and persecuted the greatest fathers and apostles of the Christian +Church, and that their vile opprobrium could not alter the +counsels of Heaven concerning me. + +On going over that rising ground called Dorington Moor, I could +not help turning round and taking a look of Dalcastle. I had little +doubt that it would be my last look, and nearly as little ambition +that it should not. I thought how high my hopes of happiness and +advancement had been on entering that mansion, and taking +possession of its rich and extensive domains, and how miserably +I had been disappointed. On the contrary, I had experienced +nothing but chagrin, disgust, and terror; and I now consoled +myself with the hope that I should henceforth shake myself free +of the chains of my great tormentor, and for that privilege was I +willing to encounter any earthly distress. I could not help +perceiving that I was now on a path which was likely to lead me +into a species of distress hitherto unknown, and hardly dreamed +of by me, and that was total destitution. For all the riches I had +been possessed of a few hours previous to this, I found that here I +was turned out of my lordly possessions without a single merk, or +the power of lifting and commanding the smallest sum, without +being thereby discovered and seized. Had it been possible for me +to have escaped in my own clothes, I had a considerable sum +secreted in these, but, by the sudden change, I was left without a +coin for present necessity. But I had hope in Heaven, knowing +that the just man would not be left destitute and that, though +many troubles surrounded him, he would at last be set free from +them all. I was possessed of strong and brilliant parts, and a +liberal education; and, though I had somehow unaccountably +suffered my theological qualifications to fall into desuetude, since +my acquaintance with the ablest and most rigid of all theologians, +I had nevertheless hopes that, by preaching up redemption by +grace, preordination, and eternal purpose, I should yet be enabled +to benefit mankind in some country, and rise to high distinction. + +These were some of the thoughts by which I consoled myself as I +posted on my way southwards, avoiding the towns and villages, +and falling into the cross ways that led from each of the great +roads passing east and west to another. I lodged the first night in +the house of a country weaver, into which I stepped at a late hour, +quite overcome with hunger and fatigue, having travelled not less +than thirty miles from my late home. The man received me +ungraciously, telling me of a gentleman's house at no great +distance, and of an inn a little farther away; but I said I delighted +more in the society of a man like him than that of any gentleman +of the land, for my concerns were with the poor of this world, it +being easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for +a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. + +The weaver's wife, who sat with a child on her knee, and had not +hitherto opened her mouth, hearing me speak in that serious and +religious style, stirred up the fire with her one hand; then, +drawing a chair near it, she said: "Come awa, honest lad, in by +here; sin' it be sae that you belang to Him wha gies us a' that we +hae, it is but right that you should share a part. You are a stranger, +it is true, but them that winna entertain a stranger will never +entertain an angel unawares." + +I never was apt to be taken with the simplicity of nature; in +general I despised it; but, owing to my circumstances at the time, +I was deeply affected by the manner of this poor woman's +welcome. The weaver continued in a churlish mood throughout +the evening, apparently dissatisfied with what his wife had done +in entertaining me, and spoke to her in a manner so crusty that I +thought proper to rebuke him, for the woman was comely in her +person, and virtuous in her conversation; but the weaver, her +husband, was large of make, ill-favoured, and pestilent; therefore +did I take him severely to task for the tenor of his conduct; but the +man was froward, and answered me rudely with sneering and +derision and, in the height of his caprice, he said to his wife: +"Whan focks are sae keen of a chance o' entertaining angels, +gude-wife, it wad maybe be worth their while to tak tent what +kind o' angels they are. It wadna wonder me vera muckle an ye +had entertained your friend the Deil the night, for aw thought aw +fand a saur o' reek an' brimstane about him. He's nane o' the best +o' angels, an focks winna hae muckle credit by entertaining him." + +Certainly, in the assured state I was in, I had as little reason to be +alarmed at mention being made of the Devil as any person on +earth: of late, however, I felt that the reverse was the case, and +that any allusion to my great enemy moved me exceedingly. The +weaver's speech had such an effect on me that both he and his +wife were alarmed at my looks. The latter thought I was angry, +and chided her husband gently for his rudeness; but the weaver +himself rather seemed to be confirmed in his opinion that I was +the Devil, for he looked round like a startled roe-buck, and +immediately betook him to the family Bible. + +I know not whether it was on purpose to prove my identity or not, +but I think he was going to desire me either to read a certain +portion of Scripture that he had sought out, or to make family +worship, had not the conversation at that instant taken another +turn; for the weaver, not knowing how to address me, abruptly +asked my name, as he was about to put the Bible into my hands. +Never having considered myself in the light of a male-factor, but +rather as a champion in the cause of truth, and finding myself +perfectly safe under my disguise, I had never once thought of the +utility of changing my name, and, when the man asked me, I +hesitated; but, being compelled to say something, I said my name +was Cowan. The man stared at me, and then at his wife, with a +look that spoke a knowledge of something alarming or +mysterious. + +"Ha! Cowan?" said he. "That's most extraordinar! Not Colwan, I +hope?" + +"No: Cowan is my sirname," said I. "But why not Colwan, there +being so little difference in the sound?" + +"I was feared ye might be that waratch that the Deil has taen the +possession o', an' eggit him on to kill baith his father an' his +mother, his only brother, an' his sweetheart," said he; "an', to say +the truth, I'm no that sure about you yet, for I see you're gaun wi' +arms on ye." + +"Not I, honest man," said I. "I carry no arms; a man conscious of +his innocence and uprightness of heart needs not to carry arms in +his defence now." + +"Aye, aye, maister," said he; "an' pray what div ye ca' this bit +windlestrae that's appearing here?" With that he pointed to +something on the inside of the breast of my frock-coat. I looked +at it, and there certainly was the gilded haft of a poniard, the same +weapon I had seen and handled before, and which I knew my +illustrious companion carried about with him; but till that +moment I knew not that I was in possession of it. I drew it out: a +more dangerous or insidious-looking weapon could not be +conceived. The weaver and his wife were both frightened, the +latter in particular; and she being my friend, and I dependent on +their hospitality for that night, I said: "I declare I knew not that I +carried this small rapier, which has been in my coat by chance, +and not by any design of mine. But, lest you should think that I +meditate any mischief to any under this roof I give it into your +hands, requesting of you to lock it by till tomorrow, or when I +shall next want it." + +The woman seemed rather glad to get hold of it; and taking it +from me, she went into a kind of pantry out of my sight, and +locked the weapon up; and then the discourse went on. + +"There cannot be such a thing in reality," said I, "as the story you +were mentioning just now, of a man whose name resembles +mine." + +"It's likely that you ken a wee better about the story than I do, +maister," said he, "suppose you do leave the L out of your name. +An' yet I think sic a waratch, an' a murderer, wad hae taen a name +wi' some gritter difference in the sound. But the story is just that +true that there were twa o' the Queen's officers here nae mair than +an hour ago, in pursuit o' the vagabond, for they gat some +intelligence that he had fled this gate; yet they said he had been +last seen wi' black claes on, an' they supposed he was clad in +black. His ain servant is wi' them, for the purpose o' kennin the +scoundrel, an' they're galloping through the country like madmen. +I hope in God they'll get him, an' rack his neck for him!" + +I could not say Amen to the weaver's prayer, and therefore tried +to compose myself as well as I could, and made some religious +comment on the causes of the nation's depravity. But suspecting +that my potent friend had betrayed my flight and disguise, to save +his life, I was very uneasy, and gave myself up for lost. I said +prayers in the family, with the tenor of which the wife was +delighted, but the weaver still dissatisfied; and, after a supper of +the most homely fare, he tried to start an argument with me, +proving that everything for which I had interceded in my prayer +was irrelevant to man's present state. But I, being weary and +distressed in mind, shunned the contest, and requested a couch +whereon to repose. + +I was conducted into the other end of the house, among looms, +treadles, pirns, and confusion without end; and there, in a sort of +box, was I shut up for my night's repose, for the weaver, as he left +me, cautiously turned the key of my apartment, and left me to +shift for myself among the looms, determined that I should +escape from the house with nothing. After he and his wife and +children were crowded into their den, I heard the two mates +contending furiously about me in suppressed voices, the one +maintaining the probability that I was the murderer, and the other +proving the impossibility of it. The husband, however, said as +much as let me understand that he had locked me up on purpose +to bring the military, or officers of justice, to seize me. I was in +the utmost perplexity, yet for all that, and the imminent danger I +was in, I fell asleep, and a more troubled and tormenting sleep +never enchained a mortal frame. I had such dreams that they will +not bear repetition, and early in the morning I awaked, feverish, +and parched with thirst. + +I went to call mine host, that he might let me out to the open air, +but, before doing so, I thought it necessary to put on some +clothes. In attempting to do this, a circumstance arrested my +attention (for which I could in nowise account, which to this day I +cannot unriddle, nor shall I ever be able to comprehend it while I +live): the frock and turban, which had furnished my disguise on +the preceding day, were both removed, and my own black coat +and cocked hat laid down in their place. At first I thought I was in +a dream, and felt the weaver's beam, web, and treadle-strings with +my hands, to convince myself that I was awake. I was certainly +awake; and there was the door locked firm and fast as it was the +evening before. I carried my own black coat to the small window +and examined it. It was my own in verity; and the sums of money +that I had concealed in case of any emergency, remained +untouched. I trembled with astonishment; and on my return from +the small window went doiting in amongst the weaver's looms, +till I entangled myself, and could not get out again without +working great deray amongst the coarse linen threads that stood +in warp from one end of the apartment unto the other. I had no knife +whereby to cut the cords of this wicked man, and therefore was +obliged to call out lustily for assistance. The weaver came half +naked, unlocked the door, and, setting in his head and long neck, +accosted me thus: + +"What now, Mr. Satan? What for art ye roaring that gate? Are +you fawn inna little hell, instead o' the big muckil ane? Deil be in +your reistit trams! What for have ye abscondit yoursel into ma +leddy's wab for?" + +"Friend, I beg your pardon," said I. "I wanted to be at the light, +and have somehow unfortunately involved myself in the +intricacies of your web, from which I cannot get dear without +doing you a great injury. Pray do lend your experienced hand to +extricate me." + +"May aw the pearls o' damnation light on your silly snout, an I +dinna estricat ye weel enough! Ye ditit donnart, deil's burd that ye +be! What made ye gang howkin in there to be a poor man's ruin? +Come out, ye vile rag-of-a-muffin, or I gar ye come out wi' mair +shame and disgrace, an' fewer haill banes in your body." + +My feet had slipped down through the double warpings of a web, +and not being able to reach the ground with them (there being a +small pit below) I rode upon a number of yielding threads, and, +there being nothing else that I could reach, to extricate myself +was impossible. I was utterly powerless; and, besides, the yarn +and cords hurt me very much. For all that, the destructive weaver +seized a loom-spoke, and began a-beating me most unmercifully, +while, entangled as I was, I could do nothing but shout aloud for +mercy, or assistance, whichever chanced to be within hearing. +The latter at length made its appearance in the form of the +weaver's wife, in the same state of dishabille with himself, who +instantly interfered, and that most strenuously, on my behalf. +Before her arrival, however, I had made a desperate effort to +throw myself out of the entanglement I was in; for the weaver +continued repeating his blows and cursing me so that I +determined to get out of his meshes at any risk. The effect made +my case worse; for, my feet being wrapt among the nether +threads, as I threw myself from my saddle on the upper ones, my +feet brought the others up through these, and I hung with my head +down and my feet as firm as they had been in a vice. The +predicament of the web being thereby increased, the weaver's +wrath was doubled in proportion, and he laid on without mercy. + +At this critical juncture the wife arrived, and without hesitation +rushed before her offended lord, withholding his hand from +injuring me further, although then it was uplifted along with the +loom-spoke in overbearing ire. "Dear Johnny! I think ye be gaen +dementit this morning. Be quiet, my dear, an' dinna begin a +Boddel Brigg business in your ain house. What for ir ye +persecutin' a servant o' the Lord's that gate, an' pitting the life out +o' him wi' his head down an' his heels up?" + +"Had ye said a servant o' the Deil's, Nans, ye wad hae been nearer +the nail, for gin he binna the Auld Ane himsel, he's gayan sib till +him. There, didna I lock him in on purpose to bring the military +on him; an' in the place o' that, hasna he keepit me in a sleep a' +this while as deep as death? An' here do I find him abscondit like +a speeder i' the mids o' my leddy's wab, an' me dreamin' a' the +night that I had the Deil i' my house, an' that he was clapper- +clawin me ayont the loom. Have at you, ye brunstane thief!" and, +in spite of the good woman's struggles, he lent me another severe +blow. + +"Now, Johnny Dods, my man! oh, Johnny Dods, think if that be +like a Christian, and ane o' the heroes o' Boddel Brigg, to +entertain a stranger, an' then bind him in a web wi' his head down, +an' mell him to death! oh, Johnny Dods, think what you are +about! Slack a pin, an' let the good honest religious lad out." + +The weaver was rather overcome, but still stood to his point that I +was the Deil, though in better temper; and, as he slackened the +web to release me, he remarked, half laughing: "Wha wad hae +thought that John Dods should hae escapit a' the snares an' +dangers that circumfauldit him, an' at last should hae weaved a +net to catch the Deil." + +The wife released me soon, and carefully whispered me, at the +same time, that it would be as well for me to dress and be going. I +was not long in obeying, and dressed myself in my black clothes, +hardly knowing what I did, what to think, or whither to betake +myself. I was sore hurt by the blows of the desperate ruffian; and, +what was worse, my ankle was so much strained that I could +hardly set my foot to the ground. I was obliged to apply to the +weaver once more, to see if I could learn anything about my +clothes, or how the change was effected. "Sir," said I, "how comes +it that you have robbed me of my clothes, and put these down in +their place over night?" + +"Ha! thae claes? Me pit down the claes!" said he, gaping with +astonishment, and touching the clothes with the point of his +forefinger. "I never saw them afore, as I have death to meet wi', +so help me God!" + +He strode into the work-house where I slept, to satisfy himself +that my clothes were not there, and returned perfectly aghast with +consternation. "The doors were baith fast lockit," said he. "I could +hae defied a rat either to hae gotten out or in. My dream has been +true! My dream has been true! The Lord judge between thee and +me; but in His name, I charge you to depart out o' this house; an', +gin it be your will, dinna tak the braidside o't w'ye, but gang +quietly out at the door wi' your face foremost. Wife, let naught o' +this enchanter's remain i' the house, to be a curse, an' a snare to +us; gang an' bring him his gildit weapon, an' may the Lord protect +a' his ain against its hellish an' deadly point!" + +The wife went to seek my poniard, trembling so excessively that +she could hardly walk, and, shortly after, we heard a feeble +scream from the pantry. The weapon had disappeared with the +clothes, though under double lock and key; and, the terror of the +good people having now reached a disgusting extremity, I +thought proper to make a sudden retreat, followed by the weaver's +anathemas. + +My state both of body and mind was now truly deplorable. I was +hungry, wounded, and lame, an outcast and a vagabond in +society; my life sought after with avidity, and all for doing that to +which I was predestined by Him who fore-ordains whatever +comes to pass. I knew not whither to betake me. I had purposed +going into England and there making some use of the classical +education I had received, but my lameness rendered this +impracticable for the present. I was therefore obliged to turn my +face towards Edinburgh, where I was little known--where +concealment was more practicable than by skulking in the +country, and where I might turn my mind to something that was +great and good. I had a little money, both Scotch and English, +now in my possession, but not one friend in the whole world on +whom I could rely. One devoted friend, it is true, I had, but he +was become my greatest terror. To escape from him, I now felt +that I would willingly travel to the farthest corners of the world, +and be subjected to every deprivation; but after the certainty of +what had taken place last night, after I had travelled thirty miles +by secret and by-ways, I saw not how escape from him was +possible. + +Miserable, forlorn, and dreading every person that I saw, either +behind or before me, I hasted on towards Edinburgh, taking all +the by and unfrequented paths; and, the third night after I left the +weaver's house, I reached the West Port, without meeting with +anything remarkable. Being exceedingly fatigued and lame, I +took lodgings in the first house I entered, and for these I was to +pay two groats a week, and to board and sleep with a young man +who wanted a companion to make his rent easier. I liked this; +having found from experience that the great personage who had +attached himself to me, and was now become my greatest terror +among many surrounding evils, generally haunted me when I was +alone keeping aloof from all other society. + +My fellow lodger came home in the evening, and was glad at my +coming. His name was Linton, and I changed mine to Elliot. He +was a flippant unstable being, one on whom nothing appeared a +difficulty, in his own estimation, but who could effect very little +after all. He was what is called by some a compositor, in the +Queen's printing house, then conducted by a Mr. James Watson. +In the course of our conversation that night, I told him I was a +first-rate classical scholar, and would gladly turn my attention to +some business wherein my education might avail me something; +and that there was nothing would delight me so much as an +engagement in the Queen's printing office. Linton made no +difficulty in bringing about that arrangement. His answer was: +"Oo, gud sir, you are the very man we want. Gud bless your +breast and your buttons, sir! Aye, that's neither here nor there. +That's all very well. Ha, ha, ha. A by-word in the house, sir. But, +as I was saying, you are the very man we want. You will get any +money you like to ask, sir. Any money you like, sir. God bless +your buttons!--That's settled--All done--Settled, setded--I'll do it, +I'll do it--No more about it; no more about it. Settled, settled." + +The next day I went with him to the office, and he presented me +to Mr. Watson as the most wonderful genius and scholar ever +known. His recommendation had little sway with Mr. Watson, +who only smiled at Linton's extravagances, as one does at the +prattle of an infant. I sauntered about the printing office for the +space of two or three hours, during which time Watson bustled +about with green spectacles on his nose, and took no heed of me. +But, seeing that I still lingered, he addressed me at length, in a +civil gentlemanly way, and inquired concerning my views. I +satisfied him with all my answers, in particular those to his +questions about the Latin and Greek languages; but when he +came to ask testimonials of my character and acquirements, and +found that I could produce none, he viewed me with a jealous +eye, and said he dreaded I was some n'er-do-weel, run from my +parents or guardians, and he did not choose to employ any such. I +said my parents were both dead; and that, being thereby deprived +of the means of following out my education, it behoved me to +apply to some business in which my education might be of some +use to me. He said he would take me into the office, and pay me +according to the business I performed and the manner in which I +deported myself; but he could take no man into Her Majesty's +printing office upon a regular engagement who could not produce +the most respectable references with regard to morals. + +I could not but despise the man in my heart who laid such a stress +upon morals, leaving grace out of the question; and viewed it as a +deplorable instance of human depravity and self-conceit; but, for +all that, I was obliged to accept of his terms, for I had an inward +thirst and longing to distinguish myself in the great cause of +religion, and I thought, if once I could print my own works, how I +would astonish mankind, and confound their self-wisdom and +their esteemed morality--blow up the idea of any dependence on +good works, and morality, forsooth! And I weened that I might +thus get me a name even higher than if I had been made a general +of the Czar Peter's troops against the infidels. + +I attended the office some hours every day, but got not much +encouragement, though I was eager to learn everything, and could +soon have set types considerably well. It was here that I first +conceived the idea of writing this journal, and having it printed, +and applied to Mr. Watson to print it for me, telling him it was a +religious parable such as the Pilgrim's Progress. He advised me to +print it close, and make it a pamphlet, and then, if it did not sell, it +would not cost me much; but that religious pamphlets, especially +if they had a shade of allegory in them, were the very rage of the +day. I put my work to the press, and wrote early and late; and +encouraging my companion to work at odd hours and on +Sundays, before the press-work of the second sheet was begun, +we had the work all in types, corrected, and a clean copy thrown +off for further revisal. The first sheet was wrought off; and I +never shall forget how my heart exulted when at the printing +house this day I saw what numbers of my works were to go +abroad among mankind, and I determined with myself that I +would not put the Border name of Elliot, which I had assumed, to +the work. + + + +Thus far have my History and Confessions been carried. + +I must now furnish my Christian readers with a key to the +process, management, and winding up of the whole matter; which +I propose, by the assistance of God, to limit to a very few pages. + +Chesters, July 27, 1712.--My hopes and prospects are a wreck. +My precious journal is lost! consigned to the flames! My enemy +hath found me out, and there is no hope of peace or rest for me on +this side the grave. + +In the beginning of last week, my fellow lodger came home, +running in a great panic, and told me a story of the Devil having +appeared twice in the printing house, assisting the workmen at the +printing of my book, and that some of them had been frightened +out of their wits. That the story was told to Mr. Watson, who till +that time had never paid any attention to the treatise, but who, out +of curiosity, began and read a part of it, and thereupon flew into a +great rage, called my work a medley of lies and blasphemy, and +ordered the whole to be consigned to the flames, blaming his +foreman, and all connected with the press, for letting a work go +so far that was enough to bring down the vengeance of Heaven on +the concern. + +If ever I shed tears through perfect bitterness of spirit it was at +that time, but I hope it was more for the ignorance and folly of +my countrymen than the overthrow of my own hopes. But my +attention was suddenly aroused to other matters, by Linton +mentioning that it was said by some in the office the Devil had +inquired for me. + +"Surely you are not such a fool," said I, "as to believe that the +Devil really was in the printing office?" + +"Oo, Gud bless you, sir! Saw him myself, gave him a nod, and +good-day. Rather a gentlemanly personage--Green Circassian +hunting coat and turban--Like a foreigner--Has the power of +vanishing in one moment though--Rather a suspicious +circumstance that. Otherwise, his appearance not much against +him." + +If the former intelligence thrilled me with grief, this did so with +terror. I perceived who the personage was that had visited the +printing house in order to further the progress of my work; and, at +the approach of every person to our lodgings, I from that instant +trembled every bone, lest it should be my elevated and dreaded +friend. I could not say I had ever received an office at his hand +that was not friendly, yet these offices had been of a strange +tendency; and the horror with which I now regarded him was +unaccountable to myself. It was beyond description, conception, +or the soul of man to bear. I took my printed sheets, the only copy +of my unfinished work existing; and, on pretence of going +straight to Mr. Watson's office, decamped from my lodgings at +Portsburgh a little before the fall of evening, and took the road +towards England. + +As soon as I got clear of the city, I ran with a velocity I knew not +before I had been capable of. I flew out the way towards Dalkeith +so swiftly that I often lost sight of the ground, and I said to +myself, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove, that I might fly to the +farthest corners of the earth, to hide me from those against whom +I have no power to stand!" + +I travelled all that night and the next morning, exerting myself +beyond my power; and about noon the following day I went into +a yeoman's house, the name of which was Ellanshaws, and +requested of the people a couch of any sort to lie down on, for I +was ill, and could not proceed on my journey. They showed me to +a stable-loft where there were two beds, on one of which I laid +me down; and, falling into a sound sleep, I did not awake till the +evening, that other three men came from the fields to sleep in the +same place, one of whom lay down beside me, at which I was +exceedingly glad. They fell all sound asleep, and I was terribly +alarmed at a conversation I overheard somewhere outside the +stable. I could not make out a sentence, but trembled to think I +knew one of the voices at least, and, rather than not be mistaken, I +would that any man had run me through with a sword. I fell into a +cold sweat, and once thought of instantly putting hand to my own +life, as my only means of relief (may the rash and sinful thought +be in mercy forgiven!) when I heard as it were two persons at the +door, contending, as I thought, about their right and interest in +me. That the one was forcibly preventing the admission of the +other, I could hear distinctly, and their language was mixed with +something dreadful and mysterious. In an agony of terror, I +awakened my snoring companion with great difficulty, and asked +him, in a low whisper, who these were at the door. The man lay +silent and listening till fairly awake, and then asked if I heard +anything. I said I had heard strange voices contending at the door. + +"Then I can tell you, lad, it has been something neither good nor +canny," said he. "It's no for naething that our horses are snorking +that gate." + +For the first time, I remarked that the animals were snorting and +rearing as if they wished to break through the house. The man +called to them by their names, and ordered them to be quiet; but +they raged still the more furiously. He then roused his drowsy +companions, who were alike alarmed at the panic of the horses, +all of them declaring that they had never seen either Mause or +jolly start in their lives before. My bed-fellow and another then +ventured down the ladder, and I heard one of them then saying: +"Lord be wi' us! What can be i' the house? The sweat's rinning off +the poor beasts like water." + +They agreed to sally out together, and if possible to reach the +kitchen and bring a light. I was glad at this, but not so much so +when I heard the one man saying to the other, in a whisper: "I +wish that stranger man may be canny enough." + +"God kens!" said the other. "It does nae look unco weel." + +The lad in the other bed, hearing this, set up his head in manifest +affright as the other two departed for the kitchen; and, I believed +he would have been glad to have been in their company. This lad +was next the ladder, at which I was extremely glad, for, had he +not been there, the world should not have induced me to wait the +return of these two men. They were not well gone before I heard +another distinctly enter the stable, and come towards the ladder. +The lad who was sitting up in his bed, intent on the watch, called +out: "Wha's that there? Walker, is that you? Purdie, I say is it +you?" + +The darkling intruder paused for a few moments, and then came +towards the foot of the ladder. The horses broke loose, and, +snorting and neighing for terror, raged through the house. In all +my life I never heard so frightful a commotion. The being that +occasioned it all now began to mount the ladder towards our loft, +on which the lad in the bed next the ladder sprung from his +couch, crying out: "The L--d A--y preserve us! What can it be?" +With that he sped across the loft and by my bed, praying lustily +all the way; and, throwing himself from the other end of the loft +into a manger, he darted, naked as he was, through among the +furious horses, and, making the door that stood open, in a +moment he vanished and left me in the lurch. Powerless with +terror, and calling out fearfully, I tried to follow his example; but, +not knowing the situation of the places with regard to one +another, I missed the manger, and fell on the pavement in one of +the stalls. I was both stunned and lamed on the knee; but, terror +prevailing, I got up and tried to escape. It was out of my power; +for there were divisions and cross divisions in the house, and mad +horses smashing everything before them, so that I knew not so +much as on what side of the house the door was. Two or three +times was I knocked down by the animals. but all the while I +never stinted crying out with all my power. At length, I was +seized by the throat and hair of the head, and dragged away, I +wist not whither. My voice was now laid, and all my powers, +both mental and bodily, totally overcome; and I remember no +more till I found myself lying naked on the kitchen table of the +farm-house, and something like a horse's rug thrown over me. +The only hint that I got from the people of the house on coming +to myself was that my absence would be good company; and that +they had got me in a woeful state, one which they did not choose +to describe, or hear described. + +As soon as day-light appeared, I was packed about my business, +with the hisses and execrations of the yeoman's family, who +viewed me as a being to be shunned, ascribing to me the +visitations of that unholy night. Again was I on my way +southwards, as lonely, hopeless, and degraded a being as was to +be found on life's weary round. As I limped out the way, I wept, +thinking of what I might have been, and what I really had +become: of my high and flourishing hopes when I set out as the +avenger of God on the sinful children of men; of all that I had +dared for the exaltation and progress of the truth; and it was with +great difficulty that my faith remained unshaken, yet was I +preserved from that sin, and comforted myself with the certainty +that the believer's progress through life is one of warfare and +suffering. + +My case was indeed a pitiable one. I was lame, hungry, fatigued, +and my resources on the very eve of being exhausted. Yet these +were but secondary miseries, and hardly worthy of a thought +compared with those I suffered inwardly. I not only looked +around me with terror at every one that approached, but I was +become a terror to myself, or, rather, my body and soul were +become terrors to each other; and, had it been possible, I felt as if +they would have gone to war. I dared not look at my face in a +glass, for I shuddered at my own image and likeness. I dreaded +the dawning, and trembled at the approach of night, nor was there +one thing in nature that afforded me the least delight. + +In this deplorable state of body and mind, was I jogging on +towards the Tweed, by the side of the small river called Ellan, +when, just at the narrowest part of the glen, whom should I meet +full in the face but the very being in all the universe of God +would the most gladly have shunned. I had no power to fly fro +him, neither durst I, for the spirit within me, accuse him of +falsehood and renounce his fellowship. I stood before him like a +condemned criminal, staring him in the face, ready to be winded, +twisted, and tormented as he pleased. He regarded me with a sad +and solemn look. How changed was now that majestic +countenance to one of haggard despair--changed in all save the +extraordinary likeness to my late brother, a resemblance which +misfortune and despair tended only to heighten. There were no +kind greetings passed between us at meeting, like those which +pass between the men of the world; he looked on me with eyes +that froze the currents of my blood, but spoke not till I assumed +as much courage as to articulate: "You here! I hope you have +brought me tidings of comfort?" + +"Tidings of despair!" said he. "But such tidings as the timid and +the ungrateful deserve, and have reason to expect. You are an +outlaw, and a vagabond in your country, and a high reward is +offered for your apprehension. The enraged populace have burnt +your house, and all that is within it; and the farmers on the land +bless themselves at being rid of you. So fare it with everyone who +puts his hand to the great work of man's restoration to freedom, +and draweth back, contemning the light that is within him! Your +enormities caused me to leave you to yourself for a season, and +you see what the issue has been. You have given some evil ones +power over you, who long to devour you, both soul and body, and +it has required all my power and influence to save you. Had it not +been for my hand, you had been torn in pieces last night; but for +once I prevailed. We must leave this land forthwith, for here there +is neither peace, safety, nor comfort for us. Do you now and here +pledge yourself to one who has so often saved your life and has +put his own at stake to do so? Do you pledge yourself that you +will henceforth be guided by my counsel, and follow me +whithersoever I choose to lead?" + +"I have always been swayed by your counsel," said I, "and for +your sake, principally, am I sorry that all our measures have +proved abortive. But I hope still to be useful in my native isle, +therefore let me plead that your highness will abandon a poor +despised and outcast wretch to his fate, and betake you to your +realms, where your presence cannot but be greatly wanted." + +"Would that I could do so!" said he woefully. "But to talk of that +is to talk of an impossibility. I am wedded to you so closely that I +feel as if I were the same person. Our essences are one, our +bodies and spirits being united, so that I am drawn towards you as +by magnetism, and. wherever you are, there must my presence be +with you." + +Perceiving how this assurance affected me, he began to chide me +most bitterly for my ingratitude; and then he assumed such looks +that it was impossible for me longer to bear them; therefore I +staggered out of the way, begging and beseeching of him to give +me up to my fate, and hardly knowing what I said; for it struck +me that, with all his assumed appearance of misery and +wretchedness, there were traits of exultation in his hideous +countenance, manifesting a secret and inward joy at my utter +despair. + +It was long before I durst look over my shoulder, but, when I did +so, I perceived this ruined and debased potentate coming slowly +on the same path, and I prayed that the Lord would hide me in the +bowels of the earth or depths of the sea. When I crossed the +Tweed, I perceived him still a little behind me; and, my despair +being then at its height, I cursed the time I first met with such a +tormentor; though on a little recollection it occurred that it was at +that blessed time when I was solemnly dedicated to the Lord, and +assured of my final election, and confirmation, by an eternal +decree never to be annulled. This being my sole and only +comfort, I recalled my curse upon the time, and repented me o my +rashness. + +After crossing the Tweed, I saw no more of my persecutor that +day, and had hopes that he had left me for a season; but, alas, +what hope was there of my relief after the declaration I had so +lately heard! I took up my lodgings that night in a small miserable +inn in the village of Ancrum, of which the people seemed alike +poor and ignorant. Before going to bed, I asked if it was +customary with them to have family worship of evenings. The +man answered that they were so hard set with the world they +often could not get time, but if I would be so kind as to officiate +they would be much obliged to me. I accepted the invitation, +being afraid to go to rest lest the commotions of the foregoing +night might be renewed, and continued the worship as long as in +decency I could. The poor people thanked me, hoped my prayers +would be heard both on their account and my own, seemed much +taken with my abilities, and wondered how a man of my powerful +eloquence chanced to be wandering about in a condition so +forlorn. I said I was a poor student of theology, on my way to +Oxford. They stared at one another with expressions of wonder, +disappointment, and fear. I afterwards came to learn that the term +theology was by them quite misunderstood, and that they had +some crude conceptions that nothing was taught at Oxford but the +black arts, which ridiculous idea prevailed over all the south of +Scotland. For the present I could not understand what the people +meant, and less so when the man asked me, with deep concern: +"If I was serious in my intentions of going to Oxford? He hoped +not, and that I would be better guided." + +I said my education wanted finishing; but he remarked that the +Oxford arts were a bad finish for a religious man's education. +Finally, I requested him to sleep with me, or in my room all the +night, as I wanted some serious and religious conversation with +him, and likewise to convince him that the study of the fine arts, +though not absolutely necessary, were not incompatible with the +character of a Christian divine. He shook his head, and wondered +how I could call them fine arts--hoped I did not mean to convince +him by any ocular demonstration, and at length reluctantly +condescended to sleep with me, and let the lass and wife sleep +together for one night. I believe he would have declined it had it +not been some hints from his wife, stating that it was a good +arrangement, by which I understood there were only two beds in +the house, and that when I was preferred to the lass's bed, she had +one to shift for. + +The landlord and I accordingly retired to our homely bed, and +conversed for some time about indifferent matters, till he fell +sound asleep. Not so with me: I had that within which would not +suffer me to close my eyes; and, about the dead of night, I again +heard the same noises and contention begin outside the house as I +had heard the night before; and again I heard it was about a +sovereign and peculiar right in me. At one time the noise was on +the top of the house, straight above our bed, as if the one party +were breaking through the roof, and the other forcibly preventing +it; at another it was at the door, and at a third time at the window; +but still mine host lay sound by my side, and did not waken. I +was seized with terrors indefinable, and prayed fervently, but did +not attempt rousing my sleeping companion until I saw if no +better could be done. The women, however, were alarmed, and, +rushing into our apartment, exclaimed that all the devils in hell +were besieging the house. Then, indeed, the landlord awoke, and +it was time for him, for the tumult had increased to such a degree +that it shook the house to its foundations, being louder and more +furious than I could have conceived the heat of battle to be when +the volleys of artillery are mixed with groans, shouts, and +blasphemous cursing. It thundered and lightened; and there were +screams, groans, laughter. and execrations, all intermingled. + +I lay trembling and bathed in a cold perspiration, but was soon +obliged to bestir myself, the inmates attacking me one after the +other. + +"Oh, Tam Douglas! Tam Douglas! haste ye an' rise out frayont +that incarnal devil!" cried the wife. "Ye are in ayont the auld ane +himsel, for our lass Tibbie saw his cloven cloots last night." + +"Lord forbid!" roared Tam Douglas, and darted over the bed like +a flying fish. Then, hearing the unearthly tumult with which he +was surrounded, he turned to the side of the bed, and addressed +me thus, with long and fearful intervals: + +"If ye be the Deil, rise up, an' depart in peace out o' this house-- +afore the bedstrae take kindling about ye, an' than it'll maybe be +the waur for ye. Get up--an' gang awa out amang your cronies, +like a good lad. There's nae body here wishes you ony ill. D'ye +hear me?" + +"Friend," said I, "no Christian would turn out a fellow creature on +such a night as this and in the midst of such a commotion of the +villagers." + +"Na, if ye be a mortal man," said he, "which I rather think, from +the use you made of the holy book. Nane o' your practical jokes +on strangers an' honest foks. These are some o' your Oxford +tricks, an' I'll thank you to be ower wi' them. Gracious heaven, +they are brikkin through the house at a' the four corners at the +same time!" + +The lass Tibby, seeing the innkeeper was not going to prevail +with me to rise, flew towards the bed in desperation, and, seizing +me by the waist, soon landed me on the floor, saying: "Be ye deil, +be ye chiel, ye's no lie there till baith the house an' us be +swallowed up!" + +Her master and mistress applauding the deed, I was obliged to +attempt dressing myself, a task to which my powers were quite +inadequate in the state I was in, but I was readily assisted by +every one of the three; and, as soon as they got my clothes thrust +on in a loose way, they shut their eyes lest they should see what +might drive them distracted, and thrust me out to the street, +cursing me, and calling on the fiends to take their prey and be +gone. + +The scene that ensued is neither to be described nor believed if it +were. I was momently surrounded by a number of hideous fiends, +who gnashed on me with their teeth, and clenched their crimson +paws in my face; and at the same instant I was seized by the +collar of my coat behind, by my dreaded and devoted friend, who +pushed me on and, with his gilded rapier waving and brandishing +around me, defended me against all their united attacks. Horrible +as my assailants were in appearance (and they all had monstrous +shapes) I felt that I would rather have fallen into their hands than +be thus led away captive by my defender at his will and pleasure +without having the right or power to say my life, or any part of +my will, was my own. I could not even thank him for his potent +guardianship, but hung down my head, and moved on I knew not +whither, like a criminal led to execution and still the infernal +combat continued till about the dawning, at which time I looked +up, and all the fiends were expelled but one, who kept at a +distance; and still my persecutor and defender pushed me by the +neck before him. + +At length he desired me to sit down and take some rest, with +which I complied, for I had great need of it, and wanted the +power to withstand what he desired. There, for a whole morning +did he detain me, tormenting me with reflections on the past, and +pointing out the horrors of the future, until a thousand times I +wished myself non-existent. "I have attached myself to your +wayward fortune," said he, "and it has been my ruin as well as +thine. Ungrateful as you are, I cannot give you up to be devoured; +but this is a life that it is impossible to brook longer. Since our +hopes are blasted in this world, and all our schemes of grandeur +overthrown; and since our everlasting destiny is settled by a +decree which no act of ours can invalidate, let us fall by our own +hands, or by the hands of each other; die like heroes; and, +throwing off this frame of dross and corruption, mingle with the +pure ethereal essence of existence, from which we derived our +being." + +I shuddered at a view of the dreadful alternative, yet was obliged +to confess that in my present circumstances existence was not to +be borne. It was in vain that I reasoned on the sinfulness of the +deed, and on its damning nature; he made me condemn myself +out of my own mouth, by allowing the absolute nature of +justifying grace and the impossibility of the elect ever falling +from the faith, or the glorious end to which they were called; and +then he said, this granted, self-destruction was the act of a hero, +and none but a coward would shrink from it, to suffer a hundred +times more every day and night that passed over his head. + +I said I was still contented to be that coward; and all that I +begged of him was to leave me to my fortune for a season, and to +the just judgement of my Creator; but he said his word and +honour were engaged on my behalf, and these, in such a case, +were not to be violated. "If you will not pity yourself, have +pity onme," added he. "Turn your eyes on me, and behold to +what I am reduced." + +Involuntarily did I turn at the request, and caught a half glance of +his features. May no eye destined to reflect the beauties of the +New Jerusalem inward upon the beatific soul behold such a sight +as mine then beheld! My immortal spirit, blood and bones, were +all withered at the blasting sight; and I arose and withdrew, with +groanings which the pangs of death shall never wring from me. + +Not daring to look behind me, I crept on my way, and that night +reached this hamlet on the Scottish border; and being grown +reckless of danger, and hardened to scenes of horror, I took up +my lodging with a poor hind, who is a widower, and who could +only accommodate me with a bed of rushes at his fireside. At +midnight I heard some strange sounds, too much resembling +those to which I had of late been inured; but they kept at a +distance, and I was soon persuaded that there was a power +protected that house superior to those that contended for or had +the mastery over me. Overjoyed at finding such an asylum, I +remained in the humble cot. This is the third day I have lived +under the roof, freed of my hellish assailants, spending my time +in prayer, and writing out this my journal, which I have fashioned +to stick in with my printed work, and to which I intend to add +portions while I remain in this pilgrimage state, which, I find too +well, cannot be long. + +August 3, 1712.--This morning the hind has brought me word +from Redesdale, whither he had been for coals, that a stranger +gentleman had been traversing that country, making the most +earnest inquiries after me, or one of the same appearance; and, +from the description that he brought of this stranger, I could +easily perceive who it was. Rejoicing that my tormentor has lost +traces of me for once, I am making haste to leave my asylum, on +pretence of following this stranger, but in reality to conceal +myself still more completely from his search. Perhaps this may be +the last sentence ever I am destined to write. If so, farewell, +Christian reader! May God grant to thee a happier destiny than +has been allotted to me here on earth, and the same assurance of +acceptance above! Amen. + +Ault-Righ, August 24, 1712.--Here am I, set down on the open +moor to add one sentence more to my woeful journal; and, then, +farewell, all beneath the sun! + +On leaving the hind's cottage on the Border, I hasted to the north- +west, because in that quarter I perceived the highest and wildest +hills before me. As I crossed the mountains above Hawick, I +exchanged clothes with a poor homely shepherd, whom I found +lying on a hill-side, singing to himself some woeful love ditty. He +was glad of the change, and proud of his saintly apparel; and I +was no less delighted with mine, by which I now supposed +myself completely disguised; and I found moreover that in this +garb of a common shepherd I was made welcome in every house. +I slept the first night in a farm-house nigh to the church of +Roberton, without hearing or seeing aught extraordinary; yet I +observed next morning that all the servants kept aloof from me, +and regarded me with looks of aversion. The next night I came to +this house, where the farmer engaged me as a shepherd; and, +finding him a kind, worthy, and religious man, I accepted of his +terms with great gladness. I had not, however, gone many times +to the sheep, before all the rest of the shepherds told my master +that I knew nothing about herding, and begged of him to dismiss +me. He perceived too well the truth of their intelligence; but, +being much taken with my learning and religious conversation, he +would not put me away, but set me to herd his cattle. + +It was lucky for me that before I came here a report had +prevailed, perhaps for an age, that this farm-house was haunted at +certain seasons by a ghost. I say it was lucky for me for I had not +been in it many days before the same appalling noises began to +prevail around me about midnight, often continuing till near the +dawning. Still they kept aloof, and without doors; for this +gentleman's house, like the cottage I was in formerly, seemed to +be a sanctuary from all demoniacal power. He appears to be a +good man and a just, and mocks at the idea of supernatural +agency, and he either does not hear these persecuting spirits or +will not acknowledge it, though of late he appears much +perturbed. + +The consternation of the menials has been extreme. They ascribe +all to the ghost, and tell frightful stories of murders having been +committed there long ago. Of late, however, they are beginning to +suspect that it is I that am haunted; and, as I have never given +them any satisfactory account of myself, they are whispering that +I am a murderer, and haunted by the spirits of those I have slain. + +August 30.--This day I have been informed that I am to he +banished the dwelling-house by night, and to sleep in an outhouse +by myself, to try if the family can get any rest when freed of my +presence. I have peremptorily refused acquiescence, on which my +master's brother struck me, and kicked me with his foot. My body +being quite exhausted by suffering, I am grown weak and feeble +both in mind and bodily frame, and actually unable to resent any +insult or injury. I am the child of earthly misery and despair, if +ever there was one existent. My master is still my friend; but +there are so many masters here, and everyone of them alike harsh +to me, that I wish myself in my grave every hour of the day. If I +am driven from the family sanctuary by night, I know I shall be +torn in pieces before morning; and then who will deign or dare to +gather up my mangled limbs, and give me honoured burial? + +My last hour is arrived: I see my tormentor once more +approaching me in this wild. Oh, that the earth would swallow me +up, or the hill fall and cover me! Farewell for ever! + +September 7, 1712.--My devoted, princely, but sanguine friend +has been with me again and again. My time is expired and I find a +relief beyond measure, for he has fully convinced me that no act +of mine can mar the eternal counsel, or in the smallest degree +alter or extenuate one event which was decreed before the +foundations of the world were laid. He said he had watched over +me with the greatest anxiety, but, perceiving my rooted aversion +towards him, he had forborne troubling me with his presence. But +now, seeing that I was certainly to be driven from my sanctuary +that night, and that there would be a number of infernals watching +to make a prey of my body, he came to caution me not to despair, +for that he would protect me at all risks, if the power remained +with him. He then repeated an ejaculatory prayer, which I was to +pronounce, if in great extremity. I objected to the words as +equivocal, and susceptible of being rendered in a meaning +perfectly dreadful; but he reasoned against this, and all reasoning +with him is to no purpose. He said he did not ask me to repeat the +words unless greatly straitened; and that I saw his strength and +power giving way, and when perhaps nothing else could save me. + +The dreaded hour of night arrived; and, as he said, I was expelled +from the family residence, and ordered to a byre, or cow-house, +that stood parallel with the dwelling-house behind, where, on a +divot loft, my humble bedstead stood, and the cattle grunted and +puffed below me. How unlike the splendid halls of Dalcastle! +And to what I am now reduced, let the reflecting reader judge. +Lord, thou knowest all that I have done for Thy cause on earth! +Why then art Thou laying Thy hand so sore upon me? Why hast +Thou set me as a butt of Thy malice? But Thy will must be done! +Thou wilt repay me in a better world. Amen. + +September 8.--My first night of trial in this place is overpast! +Would that it were the last that I should ever see in this detested +world! If the horrors of hell are equal to those I have suffered, +eternity will be of short duration there, for no created energy can +support them for one single month, or week. I have been buffeted +as never living creature was. My vitals have all been torn, and +every faculty and feeling of my soul racked, and tormented into +callous insensibility. I was even hung by the locks over a +yawning chasm, to which I could perceive no bottom, and then--not +till then, did I repeat the tremendous prayer!--I was instantly at +liberty; and what I now am, the Almighty knows! Amen. + +September 18, 1712.--Still am I living, though liker to a vision +than a human being; but this is my last day of mortal existence. +Unable to resist any longer, I pledged myself to my devoted +friend that on this day we should die together, and trust to the +charity of the children of men for a grave. I am solemnly pledged; +and, though I dared to repent, I am aware he will not be gainsaid, +for he is raging with despair at his fallen and decayed majesty, +and there is some miserable comfort in the idea that my tormentor +shall fall with me. Farewell, world, with all thy miseries; for +comforts or enjoyments hast thou none! Farewell, woman, whom +I have despised and shunned; and man, whom I have hated; +whom, nevertheless, I desire to leave in charity! And thou, sun, +bright emblem of a far brighter effulgence, I bid farewell to thee +also! I do not now take my last look of thee, for to thy glorious +orb shall a poor suicide's last earthly look be raised. But, ah! who +is yon that I see approaching furiously, his stern face blackened +with horrid despair! My hour is at hand. Almighty God, what is +this that I am about to do! The hour of repentance is past, and +now my fate is inevitable. Amen, for ever! I will now seal up my +little book, and conceal it; and cursed be he who trieth to alter or +amend. + + +END OF THE MEMOIR + + + +WHAT can this work be? Sure, you will say, it must be an +allegory; or (as the writer calls it) a religious PARABLE, +showing the dreadful danger of self-righteousness? I cannot tell. +Attend to the sequel: which is a thing so extraordinary, so +unprecedented, and so far out of the common course of human +events that, if there were not hundreds of living witnesses to attest +the truth of it, I would not bid any rational being believe it. + +In the first place, take the following extract from an authentic +letter, published in Blackwood's Magazine for August, 1823. + +"On the top of a wild height called Cowan's-Croft, where the +lands of three proprietors meet all at one point, there has been for +long and many years the grave of a suicide marked out by a stone +standing at the head and another at the feet. Often have I stood +musing over it myself, when a shepherd on one of the farms, of +which it formed the extreme boundary, and thinking what could +induce a young man, who had scarcely reached the prime of life, +to brave his Maker, and rush into His presence by an act of his +own erring hand, and one so unnatural and preposterous. But it +never once occurred to me, as an object of curiosity, to dig up the +mouldering bones of the Culprit, which I considered as the most +revolting of all objects. The thing was, however, done last month, +and a discovery made of one of the greatest natural phenomena +that I have heard of in this country. + +"The little traditionary history that remains of this unfortunate +youth is altogether a singular one. He was not a native of the +place, nor would he ever tell from what place he came; but he +was remarkable for a deep, thoughtful, and sullen disposition. +There was nothing against his character that anybody knew of +here, and he had been a considerable time in the place. The last +service he was in was with a Mr. Anderson, of Eltrive (Ault-Righ, +the King's Burn), who died about 100 years ago, and who had +hired him during the summer to herd a stock of young cattle in +Eltrive Hope. It happened one day in the month of September that +James Anderson, his master's son, went with this young man to +the Hope to divert himself. The herd had his dinner along with +him, and about one o'clock, when the boy proposed going home, +the former pressed him very hard to stay and take share of his +dinner; but the boy refused for fear his parents might be alarmed +about him, and said he would go home: on which the herd said to +him, 'Then, if ye winna stay with me, James, ye may depend on't +I'll cut my throat afore ye come back again.' + +"I have heard it likewise reported, but only by one person, that +there had been some things stolen out of his master's house a +good while before, and that the boy had discovered a silver knife +and fork that was a part of the stolen property, in the herd's +possession that day, and that it was this discovery that drove him +to despair. + +"The boy did not return to the Hope that afternoon; and, before +evening, a man coming in at the pass called The Hart Loup, with +a drove of lambs, on the way for Edinburgh, perceived something +like a man standing in a strange frightful position at the side of +one of Eldinhope hay-ricks. The driver's attention was riveted on +this strange uncouth figure, and, as the drove-road passed at no +great distance from the spot, he first called, but, receiving no +answer, he went up to the spot, and behold it was the above- +mentioned young man, who had hung himself in the hay rope that +was tying down the rick. + +"This was accounted a great wonder; and everyone said, if the +Devil had not assisted him, it was impossible the thing could +have been done; for, in general, these ropes are so brittle, being +made of green hay, that they will scarcely bear to be bound over +the rick. And, the more to horrify the good people of this +neighbourhood, the driver said, when he first came in view, he +could almost give his oath that he saw two people busily engaged +at the hay-rick going round it and round it, and he thought they +were dressing it. + +"If this asseveration approximated at all to truth, it makes this +evident at least, that the unfortunate young man had hanged +himself after the man with the lambs came in view. He was, +however, quite dead when he cut him down. He had fastened two +of the old hay-ropes at the bottom of the rick on one side (indeed, +they are all fastened so when first laid on) so that he had nothing +to do but to loosen two of the ends on the other side. These he +had tied in a knot round his neck, and then slackening his knees, +and letting himself down gradually, till the hay-rope bore all his +weight, he had contrived to put an end to his existence in that +way. Now the fact is, that, if you try all the ropes that are thrown +over all the out-field hay-ricks in Scotland, there is not one +among a thousand of them will hang a colley dog; so that the +manner of this wretch's death was rather a singular circumstance. + +"Early next morning, Mr. Anderson's servants went reluctantly +away, and, taking an old blanket with them for a winding sheet, +they rolled up the body of the deceased, first in his own plaid, +letting the hay-rope still remain about his neck, and then, rolling +the old blanket over all, they bore the loathed remains away to the +distance of three miles or so, on spokes, to the top of Cowan's- +Croft, at the very point where the Duke of Buccleuch's land, the +Laird of Drummelzier's, and Lord Napier's meet, and there they +buried him, with all that he had on and about him, silver knife +and fork and altogether. Thus far went tradition, and no one ever +disputed one jot of the disgusting oral tale. + +"A nephew of that Mr. Anderson's who was with the hapless +youth that day he died says that, as far as he can gather from the +relations of friends that he remembers, and of that same uncle in +particular, it is one hundred and five years next month (that is +September, 1823) since that event happened; and I think it likely +that this gentleman's information is correct. But sundry other +people, much older than he, whom I have consulted, pretend that +it is six or seven years more. They say they have heard that Mr. +James Anderson was then a boy ten years of age; that he lived to +an old age, upwards of fourscore, and it is two and forty years +since he died. Whichever way it may be, it was about that period +some way: of that there is no doubt. + +"It so happened that two young men, William Shiel and W. +Sword, were out on an adjoining height this summer, casting +peats, and it came into their heads to open this grave in the +wilderness, and see if there were any of the bones of the suicide +of former ages and centuries remaining. They did so, but opened +only one half of the grave, beginning at the head and about the +middle at the same time. It was not long till they came upon the +old blanket--I think, they said not much more than a foot from the +surface. They tore that open, and there was the hay-rope lying +stretched down alongst his breast, so fresh that they saw at first +sight that it was made of risp, a sort of long sword-grass that +grows about marshes and the sides of lakes. One of the young +men seized the rope and pulled by it, but the old enchantment of +the Devil remained--it would not break; and so he pulled and +pulled at it, till behold the body came up into a sitting posture, +with a broad blue bonnet on its head, and its plaid around it, all as +fresh as that day it was laid in! I never heard of a preservation so +wonderful, if it be true as was related to me, for still I have not +had the curiosity to go and view the body myself. The features +were all so plain that an acquaintance might easily have known +him. One of the lads gripped the face of the corpse with his finger +and thumb, and the cheeks felt quite soft and fleshy, but the +dimples remained and did not spring out again. He had fine +yellow hair, about nine inches long; but not a hair of it could they +pull out till they cut part of it off with a knife. They also cut off +some portions of his clothes, which were all quite fresh, and +distributed them among their acquaintances, sending a portion to +me, among the rest, to keep as natural curiosities. Several +gentlemen have in a manner forced me to give them fragments of +these enchanted garments: I have, however, retained a small +portion for you, which I send along with this, being a piece of his +plaid, and another of his waistcoat breast, which you will see are +still as fresh as that day they were laid in the grave. + +"His broad blue bonnet was sent to Edinburgh several weeks ago, +to the great regret of some gentlemen connected with the land, +who wished to have it for a keep-sake. For my part, fond as I am +of blue bonnets, and broad ones in particular, I declare I durst not +have worn that one. There was nothing of the silver knife and +fork discovered, that I heard of, nor was it very likely it should; +but it would appear he had been very near run out of cash, which +I daresay had been the cause of his utter despair; for, on searching +his pockets, nothing was found but three old Scotch halfpennies. +These young men meeting with another shepherd afterwards, his +curiosity was so much excited that they went and digged up the +curious remains a second time, which was a pity, as it is likely +that by these exposures to the air, and the impossibility of burying +it up again as closely as it was before, the flesh will now fall to +dust." + +The letter from which the above is an extract, is signed JAMES +HOGG, and dated from Altrive Lake, August 1st, 1823. It bears +the stamp of authenticity in every line; yet so often had I been +hoaxed by the ingenious fancies displayed in that Magazine, that +when this relation met my eye I did not believe it; but, from the +moment that I perused it, I half formed the resolution of +investigating these wonderful remains personally, if any such +existed; for, in the immediate vicinity of the scene, as I supposed, +I knew of more attractive metal than the dilapidated remains of +mouldering suicides. + +Accordingly, having some business in Edinburgh in September +last, and being obliged to wait a few days for the arrival of a +friend from London, I took that opportunity to pay a visit to my +townsman and fellow collegian, Mr. L--t of C--d, advocate. I +mentioned to him Hogg's letter, asking him if the statement was +founded at all on truth. His answer was: "I suppose so. For my +part I never doubted the thing, having been told that there has +been a deal of talking about it up in the Forest for some time past. +But God knows! Hogg has imposed as ingenious lies on the +public ere now." + +I said, if it was within reach, I should like exceedingly to visit +both the Shepherd and the Scotch mummy he had described. Mr. +L--t assented on the first proposal, saying he had no objections to +take a ride that length with me, and make the fellow produce his +credentials. That we would have a delightful jaunt through a +romantic and now classical country, and some good sport into the +bargain, provided he could procure a horse for me, from his +father-in-law, next day. He sent up to a Mr. L--w to inquire, who +returned for answer that there was an excellent pony at my +service, and that he himself would accompany us, being obliged +to attend a great sheep-fair at Thirlestane; and that he was certain +the Shepherd would be there likewise. + +Mr. L--t said that was the very man we wanted to make our party +complete; and at an early hour next morning we started for the +ewe-fair of Thirlestane, taking Blackwood's Magazine for August +along with us. We rode through the ancient royal burgh of +Selkirk, halted and corned our horses at a romantic village, nigh +to some deep linns on the Ettrick, and reached the market ground +at Thirlestane-green a little before mid-day. We soon found +Hogg, standing near the foot of the market, as he called it, beside +a great drove of paulies, a species of stock that I never heard of +before. They were small sheep, striped on the backs with red +chalk. Mr. L--t introduced me to him as a great wool-stapler, +come to raise the price of that article; but he eyed me with +distrust, and, turning his back on us, answered: "I hae sell'd +mine." + +I followed, and, shewing him the above-quoted letter, said I was +exceedingly curious to have a look of these singular remains he +had so ingeniously described; but he only answered me with the +remark that "It was a queer fancy for a wool-stapler to tak." + +His two friends then requested him to accompany us to the spot, +and to take some of his shepherds with us to assist in raising the +body; but he spurned at the idea, saying: "Od bless ye, lad! I hae +ither matters to mind. I hae a' thae paulies to sell, an', a' yon +Highland stotts down on the green, every ane; an' then I hae ten +scores o' yowes to buy after, an', If I canna first sell my ain stock, +I canna buy nae ither body's. I hae mair ado than I can manage +the day, foreby ganging to houk up hunder-year-auld-banes." + +Finding that we could make nothing of him, we left him with his +paulies, Highland stotts, grey jacket, and broad blue bonnet, to go +in search of some other guide. L--w soon found one, for he +seemed acquainted with every person in the fair. We got a fine +old shepherd, named W--m B--e, a great original, and a very +obliging and civil man, who asked no conditions but that we +should not speak of it, because he did not wish it to come to his +master's ears that he had been engaged in sic a profane thing. We +promised strict secrecy; and accompanied by another farmer, Mr. +S--t, and old B--e, we proceeded to the grave, which B--e +described as about a mile and a half distant from the market +ground. + +We went into the shepherd's cot to get a drink of milk, when I +read to our guide Mr. Hogg's description, asking him if he +thought it correct. He said there was hardly a bit o't correct, for +the grave was not on the hill of Cowan's-Croft nor yet on the +point where three lairds' lands met, but on the top of a hill called +the Faw-Law, where there was no land that was not the Duke of +Buccleuch's within a quarter of a mile. He added that it was a +wonder how the poet could be mistaken there, who once herded +the very ground where the grave is, and saw both hills from his +own window. Mr. L--w testified great surprise at such a singular +blunder, as also how the body came not to be buried at the +meeting of three or four lairds' lands, which had always been +customary in the south of Scotland. Our guide said he had always +heard it reported that the Eltrive men, with Mr. David Anderson +at their head, had risen before day on the Monday morning, it +having been on the Sabbath day that the man put down himself; +and that they set out with the intention of burying him on +Cowan's-Croft, where the three marches met at a point. But, it +having been an invariable rule to bury such lost sinners before the +rising of the sun, these five men were overtaken by day-light, as +they passed the house of Berry-Knowe; and, by the time they +reached the top of the Faw-Law, the sun was beginning to skair +the east. On this they laid down the body, and digged a deep +grave with all expedition; but, when they had done, it was too +short, and, the body being stiff, it would not go down; on which +Mr. David Anderson, looking to the east and perceiving that the +sun would be up on them in a few minutes, set his foot on the +suicide's brow, and tramped down his head into the grave with his +iron-heeled shoe, until the nose and skull crashed again, and at +the same time uttered a terrible curse on the wretch who had +disgraced the family and given them all this trouble. This +anecdote, our guide said, he had heard when a boy, from the +mouth of Robert Laidlaw, one of the five men who buried the +body. + +We soon reached the spot, and I confess I felt a singular sensation +when I saw the grey stone standing at the head, and another at the +feet, and the one half of the grave manifestly new-digged, and +closed up again as had been described. I could still scarcely deem +the thing to be a reality, for the ground did not appear to be wet, +but a kind of dry rotten moss. On looking around, we found some +fragments of clothes, some teeth, and part of a pocket-book, +which had not been returned into the grave when the body had +been last raised, for it had been twice raised before this, but only +from the loins upward. + +To work we fell with two spades, and soon cleared away the +whole of the covering. The part of the grave that had been opened +before was filled with mossy mortar, which impeded us +exceedingly, and entirely prevented a proper investigation of the +fore parts of the body. I will describe everything as I saw it before +our respectable witnesses, whose names I shall publish at large if +permitted. A number of the bones came up separately; for, with +the constant flow of liquid stuff into the deep grave, we could not +see to preserve them in their places. At length great loads of +coarse clothes, blanketing, plaiding, etc. appeared; we tried to lift +these regularly up, and, on doing so, part of a skeleton came up, +but no flesh, save a little that was hanging in dark flitters about +the spine, but which had no consistence; it was merely the +appearance of flesh without the substance. The head was wanting, +and, I being very anxious to possess the skull, the search was +renewed among the mortar and rags. We first found a part of the +scalp, with the long hair firm on it; which, on being cleaned, is +neither black nor fair, but a darkish dusk, the most common of +any other colour. Soon afterwards we found the skull, but it was +not complete. A spade had damaged it, and one of the temple +quarters was wanting. 1 am no phrenologist, not knowing one +organ from another, but 1 thought the skull of that wretched man +no study. If it was particular for anything, it was for a smooth, +almost perfect rotundity, with only a little protuberance above the +vent of the ear. + +When we came to that part of the grave that had never been +opened before, the appearance of everything was quite different. +There the remains lay under a close vault of moss, and within a +vacant space; and I suppose, by the digging in the former part of +the grave, the part had been deepened, and drawn the moisture +away from this part, for here all was perfect. The breeches still +suited the thigh, the stocking the leg, and the garters were wrapt +as neatly and as firm below the knee as if they had been newly +tied. The shoes were all open in the seams, the hemp having +decayed, but the soles, upper leathers and wooden heels, which +were made of birch, were all as fresh as any of those we wore. +There was one thing I could not help remarking, that in the inside +of one of the shoes there was a layer of cow's dung, about one- +eighth of an inch thick, and in the hollow of the sole fully one- +fourth of an inch. It was firm, green, and fresh; and proved that he +had been working in a byre. His clothes were all of a singular +ancient cut, and no less singular in their texture. Their durability +certainly would have been prodigious; for in thickness, +coarseness, and strength, I never saw any cloth in the smallest +degree to equal them. His coat was a frock coat, of a yellowish +drab colour, with wide sleeves. It is tweeled, milled, and thicker +than a carpet. I cut off two of the skirts and brought them with +me. His vest was of striped serge, such as I have often seen worn +by country people. it was lined and backed with white stuff. The +breeches were a sort of striped plaiding, which I never saw worn, +but which our guide assured us was very common in the country +once, though, from the old clothes which he had seen remaining +of it, he judged that it could not be less than 200 years since it +was in fashion. His garters were of worsted, and striped with +black or blue; his stockings grey, and wanting the feet. I brought +samples of all along with me. I have likewise now got possession +of the bonnet, which puzzles me most of all. It is not conformable +with the rest of the dress. It is neither a broad bonnet nor a Border +bonnet; for there is an open behind, for tying, which no genuine +Border bonnet I am told ever had. It seems to have been a +Highland bonnet, worn in a flat way, like a scone on the crown, +such as is sometimes still seen in the West of Scotland. All the +limbs, from the loins to the toes, seemed perfect and entire, but +they could not bear handling. Before we got them returned again +into the grave they were shaken to pieces, except the thighs, +which continued to retain a kind of flabby form. + +All his clothes that were sewed with linen yam were lying in +separate portions, the thread having rotten; but such as were +sewed with worsted remained perfectly firm and sound. Among +such a confusion, we had hard work to find out all his pockets, +and our guide supposed that, after all, we did not find above the +half of them. In his vest pocket was a long clasp-knife, very +sharp; the haft was thin, and the scales shone as if there had been +silver inside. Mr. Sc--t took it with him, and presented it to his +neighbour, Mr. R--n, of W--n L--e, who still has it in his +possession. We found a comb, a gimblet, a vial, a small neat +square board, a pair of plated knee-buckles, and several samples +of cloth of different kinds, rolled neatly up within one another. At +length, while we were busy on the search, Mr. L--t picked up a +leathern case, which seemed to have been wrapped round and +round by some ribbon, or cord, that had been rotten from it, for +the swaddling marks still remained. Both L--w and B--e called +out that "it was the tobacco spleuchan, and a well-filled ane too"; +but, on opening it out, we found, to our great astonishment, that it +contained a printed pamphlet. We were all curious to see what +sort of a pamphlet such a person would read; what it could +contain that he seemed to have had such a care about. For the +slough in which it was rolled was fine chamois leather; what +colour it had been could not be known. But the pamphlet was +wrapped so close together, and so damp, rotten, and yellow that it +seemed one solid piece. We all concluded from some words that +we could make out that it was a religious tract, but that it would +be impossible to make anything of it. Mr. L--w remarked marked +that it was a great pity if a few sentences could not be made out, +for that it was a question what might be contained in that little +book; and then he requested Mr. L--t to give it to me, as he had so +many things of literature and law to attend to that he would never +think more of it. He replied that either of us were heartily +welcome to it, for that he had thought of returning it into the +grave, if he could have made out but a line or two, to have seen +what was its tendency. + +"Grave, man!" exclaimed L--w, who speaks excellent strong +broad Scotch. "My truly, but ye grave weel! I wad esteem the +contents o' that spleuchan as the most precious treasure. I'll tell +you what it is, sir: I hae often wondered how it was that this +man's corpse has been miraculously preserved frae decay, a +hunder times langer than any other body's, or than ever a tanner's. +But now I could wager a guinea it has been for the preservation o' +that little book. And Lord kens what may be in't! It will maybe +reveal some mystery that mankind disna ken naething about yet." + +"If there be any mysteries in it," returned the other, "it is not for +your handling, my dear friend, who are too much taken up about +mysteries already." And with these words he presented the +mysterious pamphlet to me. With very little trouble, save that of a +thorough drying, I unrolled it all with ease, and found the very +tract which I have here ventured to lay before the public, part of it +in small bad print, and the remainder in manuscript. The title +page is written and is as follows: + +THE PRIVATE MEMOIRS +AND CONFESSIONS +OF A JUSTIFIED SINNER: + +WRITTEN BY HIMSELF + +Fideli certa merces. + +And, alongst the head, it is the same as given in the present +edition of the work. I altered the title to A Self-justified Sinner, +but my booksellers did not approve of it; and, there being a curse +pronounced by the writer on him that should dare to alter or +amend, I have let it stand as it is. Should it be thought to attach +discredit to any received principle of our Church, I am blameless. +The printed part ends at page 201 and the rest is in a fine old +hand, extremely small and close. I have ordered the printer to +procure a facsimile of it, to be bound in with the volume. [v. +Frontispiece.] + +With regard to the work itself, I dare not venture a judgment, for I +do not understand it. I believe no person, man or woman, will +ever peruse it with the same attention that I have done, and yet I +confess that I do not comprehend the writer's drift. It is certainly +impossible that these scenes could ever have occurred that he +describes as having himself transacted. I think it may be possible +that he had some hand in the death of his brother, and yet I am +disposed greatly to doubt it; and the numerous traditions, etc. +which remain of that event may be attributable to the work +having been printed and burnt, and of course the story known to +all the printers, with their families and gossips. That the young +Laird of Dalcastle came by a violent death, there remains no +doubt; but that this wretch slew him, there is to me a good deal. +However, allowing this to have been the case, I account all the +rest either dreaming or madness; or, as he says to Mr. Watson, a +religious parable, on purpose to illustrate something scarcely +tangible, but to which he seems to have attached great weight. +Were the relation at all consistent with reason, it corresponds so +minutely with traditionary facts that it could scarcely have missed +to have been received as authentic; but in this day, and with the +present generation, it will not go down that a man should be daily +tempted by the Devil, in the semblance of a fellow-creature; and +at length lured to self-destruction, in the hopes that this same +fiend and tormentor was to suffer and fall along with him. It was +a bold theme for an allegory, and would have suited that age well +had it been taken up by one fully qualified for the task, which this +writer was not. In short, we must either conceive him not only the +greatest fool, but the greatest wretch, on whom was ever stamped +the form of humanity; or, that he was a religious maniac, who +wrote and wrote about a deluded creature, till he arrived at that +height of madness that he believed himself the very object whom +he had been all along describing. And, in order to escape from an +ideal tormentor, committed that act for which, according to the +tenets he embraced, there was no remission, and which consigned +his memory and his name to everlasting detestation. + + + + + +end of Project Gutenberg Etext Confessions of A Justified Sinner, by Hogg + |