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diff --git a/22707-0.txt b/22707-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6d6dce1 --- /dev/null +++ b/22707-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1297 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Potts's Painless Cure, by Edward Bellamy + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Potts's Painless Cure + 1898 + +Author: Edward Bellamy + +Release Date: September 21, 2007 [EBook #22707] +Last Updated: March 8, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POTTS'S PAINLESS CURE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +POTTS'S PAINLESS CURE + +By Edward Bellamy + +1898 + + +“Must you go up to that tiresome old college again to-night?” + +Pouting lips and delicate brows fretted in pretty importunity over the +troubled eyes enforced the pleading tones, and yet the young man to whom +they were addressed found strength to reply:-- + +“I 'm afraid I can't get rid of it. I particularly promised Sturgis I +would look in on him, and it won't do for me to cut my acquaintance +with the class entirely just because I 'm having such a jolly time down +here.” + +“Oh, no, you don't think it jolly at all, or you would n't be so eager +to go away. I 'm sure I must be very dull company.” + +The hurt tone and pretended pique with which she said this were +assuredly all that was needed to make the _petite_ teaser irresistible. +But the young man replied, regarding her the while with an admiration in +which there was a singular expression of uneasiness:-- + +“Can't, Annie, 'pon honor. I 'm engaged, and you know-- + + “'I could not love thee, dear, so much, + Loved I not honor more!'” + +And transferring her hand to his lips he loosed its soft, lingering +clasp and was gone, stopping at the gate to throw back a kiss to her as +she stood in the porch, by way of amends for his hasty parting. + +“George Hunt, you 're an infernal scamp!” + +These were the opprobrious words he muttered to himself as he passed out +of earshot. The beneficent common law does not condemn a man merely on +his own confession unless circumstances in evidence lend probability +to his self-accusation. Before we coincide in Mr. Hunt's opinion of +himself, let us therefore inquire into the circumstances. + +He was in the last term of senior year at ------ college. For the past +year he had been boarding at the Giffords', and Annie and he had fallen +in love. The fall on his part had been quite voluntary and deliberate. +He had fallen in love because it was the correct thing for a young +collegian, engaged in the study of the humanities, to be in love, and +made him feel more like a man than smoking, drinking, or even sporting a +stove-pipe hat and cane. Vanity aside, it was very jolly to have a fine, +nice girl who thought no end of a fellow, to walk, talk, and sing with, +and to have in mind when one sang the college songs about love and wine +with the fellows. And it gave him also a very agreeable sense of +superior experience as he mingled in their discussions of women and the +tender passion. + +But withal he was a conscientious, kind-hearted young fellow enough, +and had suffered occasional qualms of conscience when little words or +incidents had impressed him with the knowledge that Annie's love for him +was a more serious matter than his for her. He felt that by insisting on +exchanging the pure gold of her earnest affection for the pinchbeck of +his passing fancy, she was making a rogue of him. He should be in no +position to marry for years, nor did he want to; and if he had wanted +to, though he felt terribly hard-hearted when he owned it to himself, +his feeling toward Annie was not quite so deep as to be a real wish +to marry her. As his last year in college approached its end, he had +thought more and more of these things, and had returned from his last +vacation determined to begin to draw gradually away from her, and +without any shock to bring their relations back to the footing of +friendship. The idea seemed a very plausible one, but it is scarcely +necessary to state that, living in the same house, and frequently alone +with her, it took about a week and a few dozen reproachful glances from +grieving eyes to melt this artificial ice with a freshet of affection, +and when, a couple of months later, he calmly reviewed the situation, he +found himself involved perceptibly deeper than ever, on account of the +attempt at extrication. + +Only two or three weeks of the term remained, and it was too late to +repeat the unsuccessful experiment. He had tried his best and failed, +and nothing remained but to be as happy as possible with her in the +short time left. Then she must get over her disappointment as other +girls did in like cases. No doubt some woman would hurt his feelings +some day, and so make it square. He took much satisfaction in this +reflection. But such cynical philosophy did not lull his conscience, +which alternately inspired his manner with an unwonted demonstrativeness +and tenderness, and again made him so uncomfortable in her presence +that he was fain to tear himself away and escape from her sight on any +pretext. Her tender glances and confiding manner made him feel like a +brute, and when he kissed her he felt that it was the kiss of a Judas. +Such had been his feelings this evening, and such were the reflections +tersely summed up in that ejaculation,--“George Hunt, you 're an +infernal scamp!” On arriving at Sturgis's room, he found it full of +tobacco smoke, and the usual crowd there, who hailed him vociferously. +For he was one of the most popular men in college, although for a year +or so he had been living outside the buildings. Several bottles stood on +the tables, but the fellows had as yet arrived only at the argumentative +stage of exhilaration, and it so happened that the subject under +discussion at once took Hunt's close attention. Mathewson had been +reading the first volume of Goethe's autobiography, and was indulging in +some strictures on his course in jilting Frederica and leaving the poor +girl heartbroken. + +“But, man,” said Sturgis, “he didn't want to marry her, and seeing +he didn't, nothing could have been crueler to her, to say nothing of +himself, than to have done so.” + +“Well, then,” said Mathewson, “why did he go and get her in love with +him?” + +“Why, he took his risk and she hers, for the fun of the game. She +happened to be the one who paid for it, but it might just as well have +been he. Why, Mat, you must see yourself that for Goethe to have married +then would have knocked his art-life into a cocked hat. Your artist +has just two great foes,--laziness and matrimony. Each has slain +its thousands. Hitch Pegasus to a family cart and he can't go off the +thoroughfare. He must stick to the ruts. I admit that a bad husband +may be a great artist; but for a good husband, an uxorious, contented +husband, there's no chance at all.” + +“You are neither of you right, as usual,” said little Potts, in his +oracular way. + +When Potts first came to college, the fellows used to make no end of fun +of the air of superior and conclusive wisdom with which he assumed +to lay down the law on every question, this being the more laughable +because he was such a little chap. Potts did not pay the least attention +to the jeers, and finally the jeerers were constrained to admit that +if he did have an absurdly pretentious way of talking, his talk was +unusually well worth listening to, and the result was that they took him +at his own valuation, and, for the sake of hearing what he had to say, +quietly submitted to his assumption of authority as court of appeal. +So when he coolly declared both disputants wrong, they manifested no +resentment, but only an interest as to what he was going to say, while +the other fellows also looked up curiously. + +“It would have been a big mistake for Goethe to have married her,” + pursued Potts, in his deliberate monotone, “but he was n't justified on +that account in breaking her heart. It was his business, having got her +in love with him, to get her out again and leave her where she was.” + +“Get her out again?” demanded Mathewson. “How was he to do that?” + +“Humph!” grunted Potts. “If you have n't found it much easier to lose a +friend than to win one, you 're luckier than most. If you asked me how +he was to get her in love with him, I should have to scratch my head, +but the other thing is as easy as unraveling a stocking.” + +“Well, but, Potts,” inquired Sturgis, with interest, “how could Goethe +have gone to work, for instance, to disgust Frederica with him?” + +“Depends on the kind of girl. If she is one of your high-steppers as to +dignity and sense of honor, let him play mean and seem to do a few dirty +tricks. If she's a stickler for manners and good taste, let him betray a +few traits of boorishness or Philistinism; or if she has a keen sense +of the ridiculous, let him make an ass of himself. I should say the +last would be the surest cure and leave least of a sore place in her +feelings, but it would be hardest on his vanity. Everybody knows that a +man would 'rather seem a scamp than a fool.'” + +“I don't believe there's a man in the world who would play the voluntary +fool to save any woman's heart from breaking, though he might manage the +scamp,” remarked Mathewson. “And anyhow, Potts, I believe there 's no +girl who would n't choose to be jilted outright, rather than be juggled +out of her affections that way.” + +“No doubt she would say so, if you asked her,” replied the imperturbable +Potts. “A woman always prefers a nice sentimental sorrow to a fancy-free +state. But it isn't best for her, and looking out for her good, you +must deprive her of it. Women are like children, you know, our natural +wards.” + +This last sentiment impressed these beardless youths as a clincher, +and there was a pause. But Mathewson, who was rather strong on the +moralities, rallied with the objection that Potts's plan would be +deceit. + +“Well, now, that's what I call cheeky,” replied its author, with a drawl +of astonishment. “I suppose it wasn't deceit when you were prancing +around in your best clothes both literally and figuratively, trying to +bring your good points into such absurd prominence as to delude her into +the idea that you had no bad ones. Oh, no, it's only deceit when you +appear worse than you are, not when you try to appear better. Strikes me +that when you 'ye got a girl into a fix, it won't do at that time of +day to plead your conscience as a reason for not getting her out of +it. Seeing that a man is generally ready to sacrifice his character in +reality to his own interests, he ought to be willing to sacrifice it in +appearance to another's.” + +Mathewson was squelched, but Sturgis came to his relief with the +suggestion:-- + +“Would n't a little genuine heartache, which I take it is healthy +enough, if it is n't pleasant, be better for her than the cynical +feeling, the disgust with human nature, which she would experience from +finding her ideal of excellence a scamp or a fool?” + +The others seemed somewhat impressed, but Potts merely ejaculated,-- + +“Bosh!” Allowing a brief pause for this ejaculation to do its work +in demoralizing the opposition he proceeded. “Sturgis, you remember +'Midsummer Night's Dream,' and how Titania, on the application of Puck's +clarifying lotion to her eyes, perceives that in Bottom she has loved an +ass. Don't you suppose Titania suffered a good deal from the loss of her +ideal?” + +There was a general snicker at Sturgis's expense. + +“Well, now,” continued Potts gravely, “a woman who should fall in love +with one of us fellows and deem him a hero would be substantially in +Titania's plight when she adored Bottom, and about as much an object +of pity when her hero disclosed an asininity which would be at least as +near to being his real character as the heroism she ascribed to him.” + +“That 's all very well,” said Merril dryly, “but it strikes me that it's +middling cheeky for you fellows to be discussing how you 'll jilt your +sweethearts with least expense to their feelings, when the chances are +that if you should ever get one, you 'll need all your wits to keep her +from jilting you.” + +“You are, as usual, trivial and inconsequential this evening, Merril,” + replied Potts, when the laughter had subsided. “Supposing, as you +suggest, that we shall be the jilted and not the jilters, it will be +certainly for our interest that the ladies should spare our feelings by +disenchanting us,--saying, as it were, the charm backward that first +charmed us. He who would teach the ladies the method and enlist their +tender hearts in its behalf would be, perhaps, the greatest benefactor +his much-jilted and heart-sore sex ever had. Then, indeed, with the +heart-breakers of both sexes pledged to so humane a practice, there +would be no more any such thing as sorrow over unrequited affections, +and the poets and novelists would beg their bread.” + +“That is a millennial dream, Potts,” responded Merril. “You may possibly +persuade the men to make themselves disagreeable for pity's sake, but it +is quite too much to expect that a woman would deliberately put herself +in an unbecoming light, if it were to save a world from its sins.” + +“Perhaps it is,” said Potts pensively; “but considering what perfectly +inexhaustible resources of disagreeableness there are in the best of us +and the fairest of women, it seems a most gratuitous cruelty that any +heart should suffer when a very slight revelation would heal its hurt. +We can't help people suffering because we are so faulty and imperfect, +but we might at least see that nobody ever had a pang from thinking us +better than we are.” + +“Look at Hunt!” said Sturgis. “He does n't open his mouth, but drinks in +Potts's wisdom as eagerly as if he did n't know it was a pump that never +stops.” + +There was a general laugh among those who glanced up in time to catch +the expression of close attention on Hunt's face. + +“Probably he 's deliberating on the application of the Potts patent +painless cure to some recent victim of that yellow mustache and goatee,” + suggested Merril, with the envy of a smooth-faced youth for one more +favored. + +Hunt, whose face had sprung back like a steel-trap to its usual +indifferent expression, smiled nonchalantly at Merril's remark. One +whose reticent habit makes his secrets so absolutely secure as Hunt's +private affairs always were is stirred to amusement rather than +trepidation by random guesses which come near the truth. + +“If I were situated as Merril flatteringly suggests, I should enjoy +nothing better than such an experiment,” he replied deliberately. “It +would be quite a novel sensation to revolutionize one's ordinary rule of +conduct so as to make a point of seeming bad or stupid. There would be +as much psychology in it as in an extra term, at least. A man would find +out, for instance, how much there was in him besides personal vanity and +love of approbation. It would be a devilish small residue with most of +us, I fancy.” + +The talk took a new turn, and the fun grew fast and furious around Hunt, +who sat puffing his pipe, absorbed in contemplation. At about half-past +nine, when things were getting hilarious, he beat a retreat, followed by +the reproaches of the fellows. He was determined to administer the first +dose of Potts's painless cure to his interesting patient that very +evening, if she had not already retired. He was in high good humor. +Potts was a brick; Potts was a genius. How lucky that he had happened to +go up to college that night! He felt as if an incubus were lifted off +his mind. No more pangs of conscience and uncomfortable sense of being a +mean and cruel fellow, for him. Annie should be glad to be rid of him +before he had ended with her. She should experience a heartfelt relief, +instead of a broken heart, on his departure. He could n't help +chuckling. He had such confidence in his nerve and his reticent habit +that his confidence and ability to carry out the scheme were undoubting, +and at its first suggestion he had felt almost as much relief as if he +had already executed it. + +On arriving home, he found Annie sewing alone in the parlor, and a +little offish in manner by way of indicating her sense of his offense in +leaving her to spend the evening alone. + +“Really, Annie,” he said, as he sat down and unfolded the evening paper, +“I try to give you all the time I can spare. If, instead of sulking, +you had taken a piece of paper and calculated how many hours this week +I have managed to give you my company, you would scarcely have felt like +repining because you could n't see me for an hour or two this evening.” + +That was the first gun of the campaign. She looked up in blank surprise, +too much astonished, for the moment, to be indignant at such a vulgarly +conceited remark from him. Without giving her time to speak, he proposed +to read the newspaper aloud, and at once began, making a point of +selecting the dullest editorials and the flattest items and witticisms, +enlivening them with occasional comments of studied insipidity, and +one or two stories, of which he carefully left out the “nubs.” He was +apparently making an unusual effort all the while to be entertaining, +and Annie, finding no opening for expressing her vexation, finally +excused herself and went upstairs, with no very angelic expression of +countenance. + +“Pretty well for a beginning,” was Hunt's muttered comment as he laid +down the paper. + +At breakfast Mr. Gifford asked him:-- + +“Shall I give you some tongue?” + +Looking around with the air of one saying a good thing, he replied:-- + +“Thank you, I have enough of my own.” + +The silence was painful. Mr. Gifford looked as if he had lost a near +friend. Mrs. Gifford at length, remembering that Hunt was a guest, +forced a momentary, ghastly smile. Annie was looking melancholy enough +before, but a slight compression of the lips indicated that she had +received the full effect. Certain degrees of badness in jokes stamp the +joker as a natural inferior in the eyes of even the most rabid of social +levelers. Scarcely any possible exhibition of depravity gives quite +the sickening sense of disappointment in the perpetrator imparted by a +genuinely bad or stale joke. Two or more similar sensations coming near +together are multiplied by mutual reverberations so as to be much more +impressive than if they occurred at considerable intervals. Hunt's +tongue joke not only retroacted to deepen the impression of vulgarity +which his last evening's performance had given Annie, but in turn was +made to appear a far more significant indication of his character on +account of its sequence to that display. + +That evening he made her a little present, having selected as a gift +a book of the day of which he had chanced to overhear her express to a +third person a particularly cordial detestation. It was decidedly the +best book of the year, he said; he had read it himself. She was obliged +to thank him for it, and even to tell one or two polite fibs, which +wrenched her terribly, and the memory of which lent a special spite to +the vehemence with which she threw the book into a corner on reaching +her room. Then she went remorsefully and picked it up again, and after +holding it awhile irresolutely, proceeded to hide it away in a far +corner of one of the least used drawers of her bureau. + +Not sleeping very well that night, she came downstairs next morning +just as Hunt was leaving. He kissed his hand to her and called out +“Aw revore.” At first she was merely puzzled, and smiled, and then it +occurred to her that it was doubtless the barbarous way he pronounced +_au revoir_, and the smile gave place to an expression of slight nausea. +As Hunt well knew, her pet aversion was people who lugged mispronounced +French phrases into their conversation under the impression that they +imparted a piquant and graceful effect. It was a touch of vulgarity +which inspired her with a violent contempt absurdly disproportioned to +the gravity of the offense. It had always been a cherished theory of +hers that there were certain offenses in manners which were keys to +character. If persons committed them, it implied an essential strain of +vulgarity in their dispositions. Judged by this theory, where would her +lover come out? + +Hunt managed to get into a political discussion with Mr. Gifford at +table that noon, talking in a rather supercilious tone, and purposely +making several bad blunders, which Mr. Gifford corrected rather +pointedly. Annie could not help observing that her lover's conceit and +ignorance of the subjects discussed seemed about equal. + +“How do you like your book?” he asked that evening. + +She murmured something confusedly. + +“Haven't begun it yet?” he inquired in surprise. “Well, when once you +do, I 'm sure you 'll not lay it down till it's finished. And, by the +way, your judgment in literary matters is so good, I 'd like to get +your opinion on the essay I 'm getting up for Commencement. I think it's +rather the best thing I 've written.” + +He proceeded to read what purported to be a sketch of its argument, +which proved to be so flat and vapid that Annie blushed with shame +for his mental poverty, and was fain to cover her chagrin with a few +meaningless comments. + +Her mind was the theatre of a struggle between disgust and affection, +which may be called ghastly. Had he been openly wicked, she would have +known how to give a good account of all disloyal suggestions to desert +or forget him. But what could she do against such a cold, creeping +thing as this disgust and revulsion of taste, which, like the chills +of incipient fever, mingled with every rising pulse of tender feeling? +Finally, out of her desperation, she concluded that the fault must be +with her; that she was fickle, while he was true. She tried hard to +despise herself, and determined to fight down her growing coldness, and +reciprocate as it deserved the affection with which he was so lavish. +The result of these mental exercises was to impart a humility and +constrained cordiality to her air very opposite to its usual piquancy +and impulsiveness, and, by a sense of her own shortcomings, to distract +her mind from speculation, which she might otherwise have indulged, over +the sudden development of so many unpleasant qualities in her lover. +Though, indeed, had her speculations been never so active and ingenious, +the actual plan on which Hunt was proceeding would probably have lain +far beyond the horizon of her conjecture. + +Meanwhile, Hunt was straitened for time; only eight or ten days of the +term were left, and in that time he must effect Annie's cure, if at all. +A slow cure would be much more likely to prove a sure one, but he must +do the best he could in the time he had. And yet he did not dare +to multiply startling strokes, for fear of bewildering instead of +estranging her, and, possibly, of suggesting suspicion. Stimulated +by the emergency, he now began to put in some very fine work, which, +although it may not be very impressive in description, was probably more +effective than any other part of his tactics. Under guise of appearing +particularly attentive and devoted, he managed to offend Annie's taste +and weary her patience in every way that ingenuity could suggest. +His very manifestations of affection were so associated with some +affectation or exhibition of bad taste, as always to leave an unpleasant +impression on her mind. He took as much pains to avoid saying tolerably +bright or sensible things in his conversation as people generally do +to say them. In all respects he just reversed the rules of conduct +suggested by the ordinary motive of a desire to ingratiate one's self +with others. + +And by virtue of a rather marked endowment of that delicate sympathy +with others' tastes and feelings which underlies good manners, he +was able to make himself far more unendurable to Annie than a less +sympathetic person could have done. Evening after evening she went to +her room feeling as if she were covered with pin-pricks, from a score of +little offenses to her fastidious taste which he had managed to commit. +His thorough acquaintance with her, and knowledge of her aesthetic +standards in every respect, enabled him to operate with a perfect +precision that did not waste a stroke. + +It must not be supposed that it was altogether without sharp twinges +of compunction, and occassional impulses to throw off his disguise and +enjoy the bliss of reconciliation, that he pursued this cold-blooded +policy. He never could have carried it so far, had he not been prepared +by a long and painful period of self-reproach on account of his +entanglement. It was, however, chiefly at the outset that he had felt +like weakening. As soon as she ceased to seem shocked or surprised at +his disclosures of insipidity or conceit, it became comparatively +easy work to make them. So true is it that it is the fear of the first +shocked surprise of others, rather than of their deliberate reprobation, +which often deters us from exhibitions of unworthiness. + +In connection with this mental and moral masquerade, he adopted several +changes in his dress, buying some clothes of very glaring patterns, and +blossoming out in particularly gaudy neckties and flashy jewelry. +Lest Annie should be puzzled to account for such a sudden access +of depravity, he explained that his mother had been in the habit of +selecting some of his lighter toilet articles for him, but this term +he was trying for himself. Didn't she think his taste was good? He also +slightly changed the cut of his hair and whiskers, to affect a foppish +air, his theory being that all these external alterations would help out +the effect of being a quite different person from the George Hunt with +whom she had fallen in love. + +Lou Roberts was Annie's confidante, older than she, much more dignified, +and of the reticent sort to which the mercurial and loquacious naturally +tend to reveal their secrets. She knew all that Annie knew, dreamed, +or hoped about Hunt; but had never happened to meet him, much to the +annoyance of Annie, who had longed inexpressibly for the time when Lou +should have seen him, and she herself be able to enjoy the luxury of +hearing his praises from her lips. One evening it chanced that Lou +called with a gentleman while Hunt had gone out to rest himself, after +some pretty arduous masquerading, by a little unconstrained intercourse +with the fellows up at college. As he returned home, at about half-past +nine, he heard voices through the open windows, and guessed who the +callers were. + +As he entered the room, despite the disenchanting experiences of the +past week, it was with a certain pretty agitation that Annie rose to +introduce him, and she looked blank enough when, without waiting for her +offices, he bowed with a foppish air to Lou and murmured a salutation. + +“What, are you acquainted already?” exclaimed Annie. + +“I certainly did not know that we were,” said Lou coldly, not thinking +it possible that this flashily dressed youth, with such an enormous +watch-chain and insufferable manners, could be Annie's hero. + +“Ah, very likely not,” he replied carelessly, adding with an explanatory +smile that took in all the group: “Ladies' faces are so much alike that, +'pon my soul, unless there is something distinguished about them, I +don't know whether I know them or not. I depend on them to tell me; +fortunately they never forget gentlemen.” + +Miss Roberts's face elongated into a freezing stare. Annie stood there +in a sort of stupor till Hunt said briskly:-- + +“Well, Annie, are you going to introduce this lady to me?” + +As she almost inaudibly pronounced their names, he effusively extended +his hand, which was not taken, and exclaimed:-- + +“Lou Roberts! is it possible? Excuse me if I call you Lou. Annie talks +of you so much that I feel quite familiar.” + +“Do you know, Miss Roberts,” he continued, seating himself close beside +her, “I 'm quite prepared to like you?” + +“Indeed!” was all that young lady could manage to articulate. + +“Yes,” continued he, with the manner of one giving a flattering +reassurance, “Annie has told me so much in your favor that, if half is +true, we shall get on together excellently. Such girl friendships as +yours and hers are so charming.” + +Miss Roberts glanced at Annie, and seeing that her face glowed with +embarrassment, smothered her indignation, and replied with a colorless +“Yes.” + +“The only drawback,” continued Hunt, who manifestly thought he was +making himself very agreeable, “is that such bosom friends always tell +each other all their affairs, which of course involve the affairs of all +their friends also. Now I suppose,” he added, with a knowing grin and +something like a wink, “that what you don't know about me is n't worth +knowing.” + +“You ought to know, certainly,” said Miss Roberts. + +“Not that I blame you,” he went on, ignoring her sarcasm. “There's no +confidence betrayed, for when I 'm talking with a lady, I always +adapt my remarks to the ears of her next friend. It prevents +misunderstandings.” + +Miss Roberts made no reply, and the silence attracted notice to the +pitiable little dribble of forced talk with which Annie was trying to +keep the other gentleman's attention from the exhibition Hunt was making +of himself. The latter, after a pause long enough to intimate that he +thought it was Miss Roberts's turn to say something, again took up the +conversation, as if bound to be entertaining at any cost. + +“Annie and I were passing your house the other day. What a queer little +box it is! I should think you 'd be annoyed by the howlings of that +church next door. The ------ are so noisy.” + +“I am a ------ myself,” said Miss Roberts, regarding him crushingly. + +Hunt, of course, knew that, and had advisedly selected her denomination +for his strictures. But he replied as if a little confused by his +blunder:-- + +“I beg your pardon. You don't look like one.” + +“How do they usually look?” she asked sharply. + +“Why, it is generally understood that they are rather vulgar, I believe, +but you, I am sure, look like a person of culture.” He said this as if +he thought he were conveying a rather neat compliment. Indignant as she +was, Miss Roberts's strongest feeling was compassion for Annie, and she +bit her lips and made no reply. + +After a moment's silence, Hunt asked her how she liked his goatee. It +was a new way of cutting his whiskers, and young ladies were generally +close observers and therefore good judges of such matters. Annie, +finding it impossible to keep up even the pretense of talking any +longer, sat helplessly staring at the floor, and waiting in nerveless +despair for what he would say next, fairly hating Lou because she did +not go. + +“What's come over you, Annie?” asked Hunt briskly. “Are you talked out +so soon? I suppose she is holding back to give you a chance to make my +acquaintance, Miss Roberts, or do let me call you Lou. You must improve +your opportunity, for she will want to know your opinion of me. May I +hope it will prove not wholly unfavorable?” This last was with a killing +smile. + +“I had no idea it was so late. We must be going,” said Miss Roberts, +rising. She had been lingering, in the hope that something would happen +to leave a more pleasant impression of Hunt's appearance, but seeing +that matters were drifting from bad to worse, she hastened to break +off the painful scene. Annie rose silently without saying a word, and +avoided Lou's eyes as she kissed her good-by. + +“Must you go?” Hunt said. “I 'm sure you would not be in such haste if +you knew how rarely it is that my engagements leave me free to devote +an evening to the ladies. You might call on Annie a dozen times and not +meet me.” + +As soon as the callers had gone, Hunt picked up the evening paper and +sat down to glance it over, remarking lightly as he did so:-- + +“Rather nice girl, your friend, though she does n't seem very +talkative.” + +Annie made no reply, and he looked up. + +“What on earth are you staring at me in such an extraordinary manner +for?” + +Was he then absolutely unconscious of the figure he had made of himself? + +“You are not vexed because I went out and left you in the early part of +the evening?” he said anxiously. + +“Oh, no, indeed,” she wearily replied. + +She sat there with trembling lip and a red spot in each cheek, looking +at him as he read the paper unconcernedly, till she could bear it no +longer, and then silently rose and glided out of the room. Hunt heard +her running upstairs as fast as she could, and closing and locking her +chamber door. + +Next day he did not see her till evening, when she was exceedingly cold +and distant, and evidently very much depressed. After bombarding her +with grieved and reproachful glances for some time, he came over to +her side, they two having been left alone, and said, with affectionate +raillery:-- + +“I 'd no idea you were so susceptible to the green-eyed monster.” + +She looked at him, astonished quite out of her reserve. + +“What on earth do you mean?” + +“Oh, you need n't pretend to misunderstand,” he replied, with a knowing +nod. “Don't you suppose I saw how vexed you were last night when your +dear friend Miss Roberts was trying to flirt with me? But you need n't +have minded so much. She is n't my style at all.” + +There was something so perfectly maddening in this cool assumption that +her bitter chagrin on his account was a fond jealousy, that she fairly +choked with exasperation, and shook herself away from his caress as if +a snake had stung her. Her thin nostrils vibrated, her red lips trembled +with scorn, and her black eyes flashed ominously. He had only seen them +lighten with love before, and it was a very odd sensation to see +them for the first time blazing with anger, and that against himself. +Affecting an offended tone, he said:-- + +“This is really too absurd, Annie,” and left the room as if in a pet, +just in time to escape the outburst he knew was coming. She sat in the +parlor with firm-set lips till quite a late hour that evening, hoping +that he would come down and give her a chance to set him right with an +indignant explanation. So humiliating to her did his misunderstanding +seem, that it was intolerable he should retain it a moment longer, and +she felt almost desperate enough to go and knock at his door and correct +it. Far too clever a strategist to risk an encounter that evening, +he sat in his room comfortably smoking and attending to arrears +of correspondence, aware that he was supposed by her to be sulking +desperately all the while. He knew that her feeling was anger and not +grief, and while, had it been the latter, he would have been thoroughly +uncomfortable from sympathy, he only chuckled as he figured to himself +her indignation. At that very moment, she was undoubtedly clenching her +pretty little fists, and breathing fast with impotent wrath, in the room +below. Ah, well, let her heart lie in a pickle of good strong disgust +overnight, and it would strike in a good deal more effectually than if +she were allowed to clear her mind by an indignant explanation on the +spot. + +The following day he bore himself toward her with the slightly distant +air of one who considers himself aggrieved, and attempted no approaches. +In the evening, which was her first opportunity, she came to him and +said in a tone in which, by this time, weariness and disgust had taken +the place of indignation:-- + +“You were absurdly mistaken in thinking that Miss Roberts was trying to +flirt.” + +“Bless your dear, jealous heart!” interrupted Hunt laughingly, with an +air of patronizing affection. “I'd no idea you minded it so much. There, +there! Let's not allude to this matter again. No, no! not another word!” + he gayly insisted, putting his hand over her mouth as she was about to +make another effort to be heard. + +He was determined not to hear anything, and she had to leave it so. +It was with surprise that she observed how indifferently she finally +acquiesced in being so cruelly misunderstood by him. In the deadened +state of her feelings, she was not then able to appreciate the entire +change in the nature of her sentiments which that indifference showed. +Love, though rooted in the past, depends upon the surrounding atmosphere +for the breath of continued life, and he had surrounded her with the +stifling vapors of disgust until her love had succumbed and withered. +She found that his exhibitions of conceit and insipidity did not affect +her in the same way as before. Her sensations were no longer sharp and +poignant, but chiefly a dull shame and sense of disgrace that she had +loved him. She met his attentions with a coldly passive manner, which +gave him the liveliest satisfaction. The cure was succeeding past all +expectation; but he had about time for one more stroke, which would make +a sure thing of it. He prepared the way by dropping hints that he had +been writing some verses of late; and finally, with the evident idea +that she would be flattered, gave out that his favorite theme was +her own charms, and that she might, perhaps, before long receive some +tributes from his muse. Her protests he laughed away as the affectations +of modesty. + +Now Hunt had never actually written a line of verse in his life, and had +no intention of beginning. He was simply preparing a grand move. From +the poet's corner of rural newspapers, and from comic collections, he +clipped several specimens of the crudest sort of sentimental trash in +rhyme. These he took to the local newspaper, and arranged for their +insertion at double advertising rates. A few days later, he bustled into +the parlor, smirking in his most odious manner, and, coming up to +Annie, thrust an open newspaper before her, marked in one corner to call +attention to several stanzas + + “Written for the 'Express.' To A--E G----D.” + +With sinking of heart she took the paper, after ineffectually trying +to refuse it, and Hunt sat down before her with a supremely complacent +expression, to await her verdict. With a faint hope that the verses +might prove tolerable, she glanced down the lines. It is enough to say +that they were the very worst which Hunt, after great industry, had been +able to find; and there he was waiting, just the other side the paper, +in a glow of expectant vanity, to receive her acknowledgments. + +“Well, what do you think of it? You need n't try to hide your blushes. +You deserve every word of it, you know, Miss Modesty,” he said gayly. + +“It's very nice,” replied Annie, making a desperate effort. + +“I thought you 'd like it,” he said, with self-satisfied assurance. +“It's queer that a fellow can't lay on the praise too thick to please a +woman. By the way, I sent around a copy to Miss Roberts, signed with my +initials. I thought you 'd like to have her see it.” + +This last remark he called out after her as she was leaving the +room, and he was not mistaken in fancying that it would complete her +demoralization. During the next week or two he several times brought her +copies of the local paper containing equally execrable effusions, till +finally she mustered courage to tell him that she would rather he would +not publish any more verses about her. He seemed rather hurt at this, +but respected her feelings, and after that she used to find, hid in her +books and music, manuscript sonnets which he had laboriously copied out +of his comic collections. It was considerable trouble, but on the +whole he was inclined to think it paid, and it did, especially when he +culminated by fitting music to several of the most mawkish effusions, +and insisting on her playing and singing them to him. As the poor girl, +who felt that out of common politeness she could not refuse, toiled +wearily through this martyrdom, writhing with secret disgust at every +line, Hunt, lolling in an easy-chair behind her, was generally indulging +in a series of horrible grimaces and convulsions of silent laughter, +which sometimes left tears in his eyes,--to convince Annie, when she +turned around to him, that his sentiment was at least genuine if vulgar. +Had she happened on one of these occasions to turn a moment before she +did, the resulting tableau would have been worth seeing. + +Hunt had determined to both crown and crucially test the triumph of +Potts's cure in Annie's case by formally offering himself to her. He +calculated of course that she was now certain to reject him, and that +was a satisfaction which he thought he fairly owed her. She would feel +better for it, he argued, and be more absolutely sure not to regard +herself as in any sense jilted, and that would make his conscience +clearer. Yes, she should certainly have his scalp to hang at her girdle, +for he believed, as many do, that next to having a man's heart a woman +enjoys having his scalp, while many prefer it. Six weeks ago he would +have been horrified at the audacity of the idea. His utmost ambition +then was to break a little the force of her disappointment at his +departure. But the unexpected fortune that had attended his efforts had +advanced his standard of success, until nothing would now satisfy him +but to pop the question and be refused. + +And still, as the day approached which he had set for the desperate +venture, he began to get very nervous. He thought he had a sure thing if +ever a fellow had, but women were so cursedly unaccountable. Supposing +she should take it into her head to accept him! No logic could take +account of a woman's whimsies. Then what a pretty fix he would have got +himself into, just by a foolhardy freak! But there was a strain of Norse +blood in Hunt, and in spite of occasional touches of ague, the risk of +the scheme had in itself a certain fascination for him. And yet he +could n't help wishing he had carried out a dozen desperate devices for +disgusting her with him, which at the time had seemed to him too gross +to be safe from suspicion. + +The trouble was that since he loved her no more he had lost the insight +which love only gives into the feelings of another. Then her every touch +and look and word was eloquent to his senses as to the precise state +of her feeling toward him, but now he was dull and insensitive to such +direct intuition. He could not longer feel, but could only argue as to +how she might be minded toward him, and this it was which caused him so +much trepidation, in spite of so many reasons why he should be confident +of the result. Argument as to another's feelings is such a wretched +substitute for the intuition of sympathy. + +Finally, on the evening before the day on which he was to offer himself, +the last of his stay at the Giffords', he got into such a panic that, +determined to clinch the assurance of his safety, he asked her to play +a game of cards, and then managed that she should see him cheat two or +three times. The recollection of the cold disgust on her face as he bade +her good-evening was so reassuring that he went to bed and slept like a +child, in the implicit confidence that four horses could n't drag that +girl into an engagement with him the next day. + +It was not till the latter part of the afternoon that he could catch +her alone long enough to transact his little business with her. +Anticipating, or at least apprehending his design, she took the greatest +pains to avoid meeting him, or to have her mother with her when she did. +She would have given almost anything to escape his offer. Of course she +could reject it, but fastidious persons do not like to have unpleasant +objects put on their plates, even if they have not necessarily to eat +them. But her special reason was that the scene would freshly bring up +and emphasize the whole wretched history of her former infatuation and +its miserable ending,--an experience every thought of which was full +of shame and strong desire for the cleansing of forgetfulness. He +finally cornered her in the parlor alone. As she saw him approaching +and realized that there was no escape, she turned and faced him with her +small figure drawn to its full height, compressed lips, pale face, and +eyes that plainly said, “Now have it over with as soon as possible.” One +hand resting on the table was clenched over a book. The other, hanging +by her side, tightly grasped a handkerchief. + +“Do you know I 've been trying to get a chance to speak with you alone +all day?” he said. + +“Have you?” she replied in a perfectly inexpressive tone. + +“Can't you guess what I wanted to say?” + +“I 'm not good at conundrums.” + +“I see you will not help me,” he went on, and then added quickly, “it's +a short story; will you be my wife?” + +As he said the words, he felt as the lion-tamer does when he puts his +head in the lion's jaws. He expects to take it out again, but if the +lion should take a notion--His suspense was, however, of the shortest +possible duration, for instantly, like a reviving sprinkle on a fainting +face, the words fell on his ear:-- + +“I thank you for the honor, but I 'm sure we are not suited.” + +Annie had conned her answer on many a sleepless pillow, and had it by +heart. It came so glibly, although in such a constrained and agitated +voice, that he instantly knew it must have been long cut and dried. + +It was now only left for him to do a decent amount of urging, and then +acquiesce with dignified melancholy and go off laughing in his sleeve. +What is he thinking of to stand there gazing at her downcast face as if +he were daft? + +A strange thing had happened to him. The sweet familiarity of each +detail in the _petite_ figure before him was impressing his mind as +never before, now that he had achieved his purpose of putting it beyond +the possibility of his own possession. The little hands he had held so +often in the old days, conning each curve and dimple, reckoning them +more his hands than were his own, and far more dearly so; the wavy hair +he had kissed so fondly and delighted to touch; the deep dark eyes under +their long lashes, like forest lakes seen through environing thickets, +eyes that he had found his home in through so long and happy a time,-- +why, they were his! Of course he had never meant to really forfeit +them, to lose them, and let them go to anybody else. The idea was +preposterous,--was laughable. It was indeed the first time it had +occurred to him in that light. He had only thought of her as losing him; +scarcely at all of himself as losing her. During the whole time he +had been putting himself in her place so constantly that he had failed +sufficiently to fully canvass the situation from his own point of view. +Wholly absorbed in estranging her from him, he had done nothing to +estrange himself from her. + +It was rather with astonishment and even an appreciation of the absurd, +than any serious apprehension, that he now suddenly saw how he had +stultified himself, and come near doing himself a fatal injury. For +knowing that her present estrangement was wholly his work, it did not +occur to him but that he could undo it as easily as he had done it. A +word would serve the purpose and make it all right again. Indeed, his +revulsion of feeling so altered the aspect of everything that he quite +forgot that any explanation at all was necessary, and, after gazing +at her for a few moments while his eyes, wet with a tenderness new and +deliciously sweet, roved fondly from her head to her little slipper, +doating on each feature, he just put out his arms to take her with some +old familiar phrase of love on his lips. + +She sprang away, her eye flashing with anger. + +He looked so much taken aback and discomfited that she paused in mere +wonder, as she was about to rush from the room. + +“Annie, what does this mean?” he stammered. “Oh, yes,--why,--my +darling, don't you know,--did n't you guess,--it was all a joke,-- +a stupid joke? I 've just been pretending.” + +It was not a very lucid explanation, but she understood, though only to +be plunged in greater amazement. + +“But what for?” she murmured. + +“I did n't know I loved you,” he said slowly, as if recalling with +difficulty, and from a great distance, his motives, “and I thought it +was kind to cure you of your love for me by pretending to be a fool. +I think I must have been crazy, don't you?” and he smiled in a dazed, +deprecating way. + +Her face from being very pale began to flush. First a red spot started +out in either cheek; then they spread till they covered the cheeks; next +her forehead took a roseate hue, and down her neck the tide of color +rushed, and she stood there before him a glowing statue of outraged +womanhood, while in the midst her eyes sparkled with scorn. + +“You wanted to cure me,” she said at last, in slow, concentrated tones, +“and you have succeeded. You have insulted me as no woman was ever +insulted before.” + +She paused as if to control herself; for her voice trembled with +the last words. She shivered, and her bosom heaved once or twice +convulsively. Her features quivered; scorching tears of shame rushed to +her eyes, and she burst out hysterically:-- + +“For pity's sake never let me see you again!” + +And then he found himself alone. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Potts's Painless Cure, by Edward Bellamy + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK POTTS'S PAINLESS CURE *** + +***** This file should be named 22707-0.txt or 22707-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/2/7/0/22707/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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