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diff --git a/22696-h/22696-h.htm b/22696-h/22696-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..141517e --- /dev/null +++ b/22696-h/22696-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1804 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=us-ascii" /> +<meta content="pg2html (binary v0.18)" name="generator" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of + Colonel Crockett's Co-operative Christmas, + by Rupert Hughes +</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[*/ + <!-- + * { text-align: left; text-indent: 0; } + +body { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 2%; + color: black; + background-color: white; + background-image: url(images/endpapertile4.png); + background-repeat: repeat-y; + } + + p { margin-top: .75em; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: justify; + line-height: 150%!important; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { text-align: center; } + img { border: none!important; } + .quote { margin-left: 6%; margin-right: 6%; text-indent: 0em; font-size: 90%; } + .figure { width: 365px!important; margin: 0 auto; text-indent: 0em; text-align: center; font-size: 90%; font-variant: small-caps; } + .center { text-align: center; text-indent: 0; line-height: 100%!important; } + .blank { height: 2em!important; clear:both; } + .sc { font-variant: small-caps; } + td.r,.right { text-align: right; padding-right: 1em; } + span.pagenum { + position: absolute; left: 100px; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt; color: gray; background-color: transparent; } + + div.fig_block { + margin: 0 auto; + text-indent: 0em; + text-align: center; + color: black; + background-color: white; + border: 1px solid green; + height: 500px!important; + width: 400px!important; + padding: 3em 0em 3em 0em; + font-variant: small-caps; + } + div.page_block { + margin: 0 auto; + text-indent: 0em; + text-align: center; + color: black; + background-color: white; + width: 75%; + padding: 25px 20px 15px 15px; + } + div.page_block p { padding: 0em 1em 0em 1em; } + +/*]]>*/ + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Colonel Crockett's Co-operative Christmas, by +Rupert Hughes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Colonel Crockett's Co-operative Christmas + +Author: Rupert Hughes + +Release Date: September 21, 2007 [EBook #22696] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CO-OPERATIVE CHRISTMAS *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div style="height: 50px;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0001"></a> +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/fcover.jpg" style="border: 1px solid green;" + alt="(Front Cover) COL. CROCKETT'S CO-OPERATIVE CHRISTMAS RUPERT HUGHES" /> +</div> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0003"></a> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/halftitle.png" alt="(Half Title) Colonel Crockett's Co-operative Christmas" /> +</div> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0004"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0008.jpg"><img src="images/frontis.jpg" + alt="Last night I ate a horrible mockery of a Christmas dinner in a deserted restaurant" /></a> +<br /> +Last night I ate a horrible mockery of a Christmas dinner in a deserted restaurant +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0005"></a> +<div class="figure" style="background-color: #e4cda4; border: 1px solid gray;"> +<a href="images/f0009.jpg"><img src="images/otitle.jpg" + alt="Illustrated Title Page" /></a> +</div> + +<a name="h2H_4_0001" id="h2H_4_0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="page_block"> + +<h1> +Colonel<br /> +Crockett's<br /> +Co-operative<br /> +Christmas +</h1> + +<h2> +By<br /> +Rupert Hughes +</h2> + +<p class="center"> +Philadelphia and London<br /> +George W Jacobs and Company +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<!-- <p> [Verso Page] </p> --> + +<p class="center"> + <small> + COPYRIGHT, 1906, BY <br /> + GEORGE W. JACOBS & COMPANY <br /> + <i>Published September, 1906</i> <br /> + </small> +</p> +<p class="center"> + <small> + <i>All rights reserved</i> <br /> + <i>Printed in U. S. A.</i> + </small> +</p> + +<a name="h2H_ILL" id="h2H_ILL"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-000a"></a> +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0011a.png" + alt="Illustrations" /> +</div> + +<table summary="List of Illustrations" style="padding: 3%;" align="center"> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> Last night I ate a horrible mockery of a Christmas dinner in a deserted restaurant </td><td class="r" valign="bottom" width="25%"><a href="#image-0004"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> As blue as all the swear words ever swore </td><td class="r" valign="bottom"><i>Facing page</i><br /><a href="#image-0015">14</a></td></tr> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> He said if I ever come near again he'd sic the dogs on me </td><td class="r" valign="bottom"><a href="#image-0019">18</a></td></tr> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> "Only one thousand plunks," says he </td><td class="r" valign="bottom"><a href="#image-0039">40</a></td></tr> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> James J. James, Publicity Expert </td><td class="r" valign="bottom"><a href="#image-0048">48</a></td></tr> +<tr><td valign="bottom"> Old Miss Samanthy Clay got a box of cigars meant for Judge Randolph </td><td class="r" valign="bottom"><a href="#image-0061">60</a></td></tr> +</table> + +<a name="image-000b"></a> +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0011b.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> +<img src="images/0013.png" width="200" height="223" alt="Foreword" /> +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page9" name="page9"></a>[9]</span> + +<a name="h2H_FORE" id="h2H_FORE"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<img src="images/0010a.png" width="148" height="33" alt="Foreword" style="margin-bottom: 2em;" /> + +<!--<h2>Foreword</h2>--> + +<img src="images/0010b.png" width="79" height="319" alt="envelopes" style="float:left; clear: left; margin-bottom: 3em; margin-right: 1em;" /> + +<p style="margin: 0px 25px 0px 35px;" > +<img src="images/cap-o.png" alt="O" style="float:left;" /> +f all the strange gatherings that have distinguished Madison Square +Garden, the strangest was probably on the occasion, last Christmas, +when the now well-known Colonel D. A. Crockett, of Waco, rented the vast +auditorium for one thousand dollars, and threw it open to the public. +As he is going to do it again this coming Christmas, an account of +the con-, in-, and re-ception of his scheme may interest some of the +thousands who find themselves every Christmas in the Colonel's plight. +My plan to describe it was frustrated by the receipt, from his wife, +of three letters + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page10" name="page10"></a>[10]</span> + + he wrote her. It seems only fair, then, that the author +of an achievement which is likely to become an institution should be +allowed to be the author of its history. I shall, therefore, content +myself with publishing verbatim two of the Colonel's own letters. +</p> +<p class="right"> +<span class="sc">Rupert Hughes</span> +</p> + +<img src="images/0010c.png" width="365" height="120" alt="envelopes" style="clear: both;" /> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page11" name="page11"></a>[11]</span> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0011"></a> +<img src="images/0017.png" width="200" height="223" alt="Letter One" /> + +<!--<h2>LETTER ONE</h2>--> + +<div class="blank"> +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page12" name="page12"></a>[12]</span> +<br /></div> + +<a name="h2H_4_0003" id="h2H_4_0003"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page13" name="page13"></a>[13]</span> + +<!--<p>Col. Crockett's Co-operative Christmas</p>--> + +<p class="right"> +<i>New York, N. Y., Dec. 26, 1904.</i> +</p> +<p> +<span class="sc">Friend Wife</span>: +</p> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0019a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 88px; height: 400px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0019b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 194px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +The miserablest night I ever spent in all my born days—the solitariest, +with no seconds—was sure this identical Christmas night in New York +City. And I've been some lonesome, too, in my time. +</p> +<p> +I've told you how, as a boy, I shipped before the mast—the wrong +mast—and how the old tub bumped a reef and went down with all +hands—and feet—except mine. You remember me telling how I grabbed +aholt of a large wooden box and floated on to a dry spot. It knocked the +wind out of my stummick considerable, but I hung on kind of unconscious + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page14" name="page14"></a>[14]</span> + +till the tide went out. When I come to, I looked round to see where +in Sam Hill I was at, and found I was on a little pinhead of an island +about the size a freckle would be on the moon. All around was mostly +sky, excepting for what was water. And me with nothing to drink it with! +</p> +<p> +I set down hard on the box and felt as blue as all the swear words ever +swore. There was nothing in sight to eat, and that made me so hungry +that me and the box fell over backward. As I laid there sprawled out, +with my feet up on the box, I looked between my knees and read them +beautiful words, "Eat Buggins' + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page15" name="page15"></a>[15]</span> + +Biscuit," in plain sight before me on +the end of the box. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0015"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0021.jpg"><img src="images/0021.jpg" width="350" height="490" + alt="As blue as all the swear words ever swore" /></a> +<br /> +As blue as all the swear words ever swore +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0020a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 85px; height: 407px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0020b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 186px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +Well, me and friend Buggins inhabited that place—about as big as one +of Man Friday's footprints—for going on four weeks. When tide was in, +I held the box on my head to keep my powder dry. 'Long toward the end of +my visit, just before the ship that saved me hove in sight, I began to +feel a mite tired of that place. I kind o' felt as if I'd saw about all +that was int'resting on that there island. I thought I was unhappy and I +had a sneaking idea I was lonesome. But I see I was mistaken. I hadn't +spent a Christmas night alone in a big city then. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page16" name="page16"></a>[16]</span> + +<p> +Then once when I was prospecting for our mine, I was snowed up in a +pass. I reckon I've told you how I got typhoid fever and wrestled it +out all day by my lonesome; unparalleled thirst, Boston baked brains, +red flannel tongue, delirium dreamins, and self-acting emetic, down +to the final blissful "Where am I at?" and on through the nice long +convalescence till my limbs changed from twine strings to human members. +Six weeks doing time as doctor, patient, trained nurse and fellow-Mason +all in one, was being alone right smart. But it wasn't a patch on the +little metrolopis of Manhattan on Santy Claus day. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page17" name="page17"></a>[17]</span> + +<p> +Then once I had a rather unrestful evening out in the western part +of Texas. A fellow sold me a horse right cheap, and later a crowd +of gentlemen accused me of stealing it, and I was put in jail with a +promise of being lynched before breakfast. That was being uncomfortable +some, too. But I wished last night that my friend, Judge Watson, hadn't +come along that night and identified me. It would have saved me from +New Yorkitis. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0025a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 88px; height: 396px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0025b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 189px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +Then there was the night when I proposed for your hand and you sent me +to your pa, and he said if I ever come near again he'd sic the dogs on +me. I spent that night at a safe + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page18" name="page18"></a>[18]</span> + + distance from the dogs, leaning on a +fence, and not noticing it was barb wire till I looked at my clothes and +my hide next day. I watched your windows till the light went out and all +my hope with it—and on after that till, as the poet says, till daylight +doth appear. +</p> +<p> +Then there's the time I told you about, when—but there's no use of +making a catalog of every time I've been lonesome. I have taken my pen +in hand to inform you that last night beat everything else on my private +list of troubles. My other lonely times was when I was alone, but the +lonesomest of all was in the heart of the biggest crowd on this here +continent. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0019"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0027.jpg"><img src="images/0027.jpg" width="350" height="490" + alt="He said if I ever come near again he'd sic the dogs on me" /></a> +<br /> +He said if I ever come near again he'd sic the dogs on me +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page19" name="page19"></a>[19]</span> + +<img src="images/0026a.png" style="float:left; clear:left; margin-right: 5px;" alt="" /> + +<p> +There was people a-plenty. But I didn't know one gol-darned galoot. I +had plenty of money, but nobody to spend it on—except tiptakers. I was +stopping at this big hotel with lugsury spread over everything, thicker +than sorghum on corn pone. But lonely—why, honey, I was so lonely that, +as I walked along the streets, I felt as if I'd like to break into some +of the homes and compel 'em at the point of my gun to let me set in and +dine with 'em. +</p> +<p> +I felt like asking one of the bell-boys to take me home and get his ma +to give me a slice of goose and let her talk to me about her folks. +</p> + +<img src="images/0026b.png" style="clear:both;" alt="" /> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0031a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 88px; height: 404px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0031b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 185px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +There was some four million people + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page20" name="page20"></a>[20]</span> + + in a space about the size of our ranch. +There was theatres to go to—but who wants to go to the theatre on +Christmas?—it's like going to church on the Fourth of July. There were +dime muzhums, penny vawdevilles, dance-halls. +</p> +<p> +There was a big dinner for news-boys. The Salvation Army and the +Volunteers gave feeds to the poor. But I couldn't qualify. I wasn't +poor. I had no home, no friends, no nothing. +</p> +<p> +The streets got deserteder and deserteder. A few other wretches was +marooned like me in the hotel corridors. We looked at each other like +sneak-thieves patroling the same + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page21" name="page21"></a>[21]</span> + + street. Waiters glanced at us pitiful +as much as to say, "If it wasn't for shrimps like you, I'd be home with +my kids." +</p> +<p> +The worst of it was, I knew there were thousands of people in town in +just my fix. Perhaps some of them were old friends of mine that I'd have +been tickled to death to fore-gather with; or leastways, people from my +State. Texas is a big place, but we'd have been brothers and sisters—or +at least cousins once removed—for Christmas' sake. But they were +scattered around at the St. Regis or the Mills Hotel, the Martha +Washington or somewhere, while I was at the Waldorf-hyphen-Astoria. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page22" name="page22"></a>[22]</span> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0032a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 85px; height: 400px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0032b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 194px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +It was like the two men that Dickens—I believe it was Dickens—tells +about: Somebody gives A a concertina, but he can't play on it; winter +coming on and no overcoat; he can't wear the concertina any more than +he can tootle it. A few blocks away is a fellow, Mr. B. He can play a +concertina something grand, but he hasn't got one and his fingers itch. +He spends all his ready money on a brand-new overcoat, and just then +his aunt sends him another one. He thinks he'll just swap one of them +overcoats for a concertina. So he advertises in an exchange column. +About the same time, A advertises that he'll trade one + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page23" name="page23"></a>[23]</span> + + house-broken +concertina for a nice overcoat. But does either A or B ever see B's or +A's advertisements? Not on your beautiful daguerreotype. +</p> +<p> +That was the way with us-all in New York. The town was full of lonesome +strangers, and we went moping round, stumbling over each other and not +daring to speak. +</p> +<p> +They call us "transients" here. It's like a common sailor that's lost at +sea; he's only a "casualty." So us poor, homeless dogs in New York are +only transients. Why, do you know, I was that lonely I could have stood +out in the square like a lonely old cow in the rain, and just mooed for +somebody to take me in. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page24" name="page24"></a>[24]</span> + +<p> +I'd have telegraphed for you and the childern to come to town, but Texas +is so far away, and you'd have got here too late, and you couldn't come +anyway, being sick, as you wrote me, and one of the kids having malary. +How is his blessed self to-day? I hope you're feeling better. Telegraph +if you ain't, and I'll take the first train home. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0035a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 95px; height: 382px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0035b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 168px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +Well, last night I ate a horrible mockery of a Christmas dinner in a +deserted restaurant, and it gave me heartburn (in addition to heartache) +and a whole brood-stable of nightmares. I went to bed early, and stayed +awake late. Gee! that was an awful night. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page25" name="page25"></a>[25]</span> + +<p> +I tried Philosophy—the next station beyond Despair. I said to myself, +"You old fool, why in the name of all that's sensible should you feel +so excited about one day more than another?" I wasn't so lonely the +day before Christmas, I ain't so lonely to-day, but then I was like +a small boy with the mumps and the earache on the Fourth of July. +The firecrackers will pop just as lively another day, but—well, the +universe was simply throwed all out of gear, like it must have been +when Joshua held up the moon—or was it the sun? +</p> + +<p> +You remember reading me once about—I reckon it was Mr. Aldrich's +pleasing idea of the last man on + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page26" name="page26"></a>[26]</span> + + earth; everybody killed off by a +pestilence or something, and him setting there by his lonely little +lonesome; and what would he have done if he had heard his door-bell +ring? Well, I reckon he'd have done what I'd have done if I'd met a +friend—given one wild whoop, wrapped his arms round his neck, kissed +him on both cheeks, and died with a faint gurgle of joy. I'd of been +glad to have died so, too. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0036a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 70px; height: 350px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0036b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 180px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +Finally, I swore that if I ever foresaw myself being corralled again in +a strange city on Christmas, I'd put on a sandwich board or something +and march up and down the streets with a sign like this: +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page27" name="page27"></a>[27]</span> + +<p class="center" style="line-height: 100%!important;"> +I'm lonely!<br /> +I'm homesick for a real<br /> +Christmas!<br /> +There must be others.<br /> +Let's get together!<br /> +Meet me at the Fountain<br /> +in Union Square!<br /> +We'll hang our stockings on the trees.<br /> +Perhaps some snow will fall in 'em.<br /> +Come one—Come all!<br /> +Both great and small! +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<p> +I bet such a board would stir up a procession of exiles a mile and a +half long. And we'd get together and have a good crying match on each +other's shoulders, and wring each other's hands, while the band played +Old Lang's Sign. +</p> + +<p> +But it's over now. I've lived + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page28" name="page28"></a>[28]</span> + + through the game of Christmas solitaire +in a big city, and I feel as relieved as a man just getting out of a +dentist's office. He's minus a few molars, and aches considerable, but +he's full of a pleasing emptiness. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0039a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 90px; height: 395px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0039b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 188px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +But let me say right here, and put it in black and white: If I'm ever +dragged away from home again on Christmas, I'll take laughing-gas enough +for a day and two nights, or I'll take some violent steps to get +company, if I have to hire a cayuse and a lariat and rustle Broadway, +rounding up a herd of other unbranded stray cattle. +</p> +<p> +Well, this is a long letter for me, honey, and I will close. Love and + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page29" name="page29"></a>[29]</span> + + kisses to the sweet little kids and to the best wife a fellow ever had. +</p> +<p class="right"> +Your loving <br /> + <span class="sc">Austin</span>. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<p> +P. S. I pulled off the deal all right. The syndicate buys the mine. +I get $500,000 in cash and $500,000 in stock, and I start for home in +three days. We'll hang up our stockings on New Year's Day. +</p> + + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page30" name="page30"></a>[30]</span> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page31" name="page31"></a>[31]</span> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="h2H_4_0004" id="h2H_4_0004"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<a name="image-0031"></a> +<img src="images/0041.png" width="200" height="223" +alt="Between Letters" /> + +<!--<h2>Between Letters</h2>--> + + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page32" name="page32"></a>[32]</span> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page33" name="page33"></a>[33]</span> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0033a.png" width="235" height="30" alt="Between Letters" style="margin-bottom: 2em;" /> + +<img src="images/0033b.png" width="78" height="339" alt="money bags" style="float:right; clear: right; margin-bottom: 3em; margin-left: 1em;" /> + +<p style="margin-left: 1em;" > +<img src="images/cap-t.png" alt="T" style="float:left;" />he Fates accepted Colonel Crockett's challenge, and, by an irresistible +syndication of events, forced him to be alone in New York again the very +next Christmas. After a series of masterly financial strokes, he had +felt rich enough in his two millions to spend a year abroad with his +family. A cablegram called him to America early in December, to a +directors' meeting. Expecting to return at once, he had left his family +in Italy. A legal complication kept him postponing his trip from day +to day; and finally an important hearing, in which he was a valued +witness, was postponed + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page34" name="page34"></a>[34]</span> + + by the referee—or deferee—till after the +holidays. The Colonel saw himself confronted with another Christmas +far away from any of his people. The first two days he spent in violent +profanity, and in declining invitations which he received from business +acquaintances to share their homes. Then he set out to make the occasion +memorable. Once more we may leave the account to him. +</p> + +<img src="images/0033c.png" width="365" height="148" alt="money bags" style="clear: both;" /> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page35" name="page35"></a>[35]</span> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0034"></a> +<img src="images/0045.png" width="200" height="223" + alt="Letter Two" /> + +<!--<h2>LETTER TWO</h2>--> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page36" name="page36"></a>[36]</span> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> <div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page37" name="page37"></a>[37]</span> + +<a name="h2H_4_0005" id="h2H_4_0005"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0048a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 90px; height: 400px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0048b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 191px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p class="right"> +<i>New York, N. Y., Dec. 28, 1905.</i> +</p> +<p> +<span class="sc">Friend Wife</span>: +</p> +<p> +Well, I've been and went and gone and done it! And golly, but it was +fun—barring wishing you and the little ones had of been here, too. Next +year we'll arrange it so, for I'm going to do it again. You remember +Artemus Ward's man who "had been dead three weeks and liked it." Well, +that's me. This camping out in New York is getting to be a habit. I'm +sending you a bundle of newspaper clippings as big as a stovepipe—all +about Yours Truly. +</p> +<p> +As soon as I saw that circumstances had organized a pool to corner me +and my Christmases, I spent a couple + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page38" name="page38"></a>[38]</span> + + of days sending up rain-making +language. Then I settled down to work like a bronco does to harness +after kicking off the dashboard and snapping a couple of traces. +</p> +<p> +"If I've got to be alone this Christmas," I says to myself, "I'll make +it the gol-blamedest, crowdedest solitude ever heard of this side of +the River." +</p> +<p> +I looked for the biggest place in town under one roof. Madison +Square Garden was <i>it</i>. You remember it. We was there to the Horse +Show—so-called. You recollect, I reckon, that the Garden holds right +smart of people. At a political meeting once they got 14,000 people into +it, and + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page39" name="page39"></a>[39]</span> + + there was still room for Grover Cleveland to stand and make +a speech. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0050a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 90px; height: 399px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0050b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 187px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +Well, feeling kind o' flush and recklesslike, I decided to go and see +the manager, or janitor, or whatever he is. And go I did. I says to him: +"Could I rent your cute little shack for one evening—Christmas night?" +</p> +<p> +"Certainly, sir," he says. "There happens to be nothing doing this +Christmas." +</p> +<p> +"How much would it set me back?" I says very polite. +</p> +<p> +"Only one thousand plunks," says he smiling. +</p> +<p> +"But, my dear Gaston," I says with a low bow, "I don't want to buy your +little Noah's Ark for the + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page40" name="page40"></a>[40]</span> + + baby. I only want to borrow it for one evening." +</p> +<p> +"One thou. is our bargain-counter limit," he says. "I couldn't make it +less for the poor old Czar of Rooshy." +</p> +<p> +I kind o' hesitated, remembering the time when a thousand dollars would +have kept me comfortable for about three years. It's hard to get over +the habit of counting your change. Then Mr. Janitor, seeing me kind o' +groggy, says, a little less polite: +</p> +<p> +"If that's more than you care to pay for a single room you can get a cot +for five cents on the Bowery; for a quarter you can get a whole suite." +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0039"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0051.jpg"><img src="images/0051.jpg" width="350" height="490" + alt=""Only one thousand plunks," says he" /></a> +<br /> +"Only one thousand plunks," says he +</div> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0078a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 85px; height: 392px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0078b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 197px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +That riled me. I flashed a wad of + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page41" name="page41"></a>[41]</span> + + bills on him that made his eyes look +like two automobile lamps. He could see it wasn't Confederate money, +either. Then I shifted my cigar to detract attention while I swallowed +my Adam's apple, and I says: +</p> +<p> +"I was only hesitating, my boy, because I wondered if your nice young +Garden would be big enough. You haven't got a couple more to rent at the +same price?" +</p> +<p> +He wilted and caved in like a box of ice cream does just before you get +home with it. Then he began to bow lower, and we cut for a new deal. He +took the lead. +</p> +<p> +He says what might I be wanting to use the Garden for? +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page42" name="page42"></a>[42]</span> + +<p> +"Oh, I won't bulge the walls or strain the floor," I says. "I only want +it for a Christmas tree. I am going to invite my friends to a little +party." +</p> +<p> +"Whew, but you must be popular!" he says. "Who the dickens are you? +Brother Teddy, or Mother Eddy?" +</p> +<p> +"I'm Colonel D. Austin Crockett, of Waco," I says as meek as I could. +</p> +<p> +"Pleased to meet you, Colonel," he says. "What you running +for?—District Attorney? Or are you starting a new Mutual Benefit Life +Assassination?" +</p> +<p> +"Neither," I says; "I'm a stranger in New York." +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page43" name="page43"></a>[43]</span> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0010b.png" style="float:right; clear:right; margin-left: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +"But these friends of yours?" he gasped. "Is all Waco coming up here on +an excursion? Is the town going to move bodily?" +</p> +<p> +"Mr. Prosecutor," I says, "if you'll stop cross-examining a minute, and +let me tell how it all happened, it will save right smart of time. I am +a stranger here to about four million people. They are strangers to me. +We ought to know each other. So I'm going to give a little Madison +Square Garden warming and invite 'em in." +</p> +<p> +"What are you going to sell 'em—prize poultry, or physical culture?" +</p> +<p> +"I've nothing to sell. I'm just going to entertain 'em." +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0010c.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page44" name="page44"></a>[44]</span> + +<p> +"Well, I've heard of Southern hospitality," he says, "but this beats me. +How much you going to charge a head?" +</p> +<p> +"Nothing. Everything is to be free. Admission included." +</p> +<p> +"Not on your dear old Lost Cause!" he exclaims. "Leastways not in our +little doll's house. Not for ten thousand dollars! Why, man, do you +realize that if you offered these New York, Brooklyn, Bronx, Hackensack +and Hoboken folks a free show, more'n two thousand women would get +trampled to death? Did you ever see a bargain-counter crowd on +Twenty-third Street? Well, that's only for a + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page45" name="page45"></a>[45]</span> + + chance to get something +they don't want at a fishbait price. But if you offered them a free, +'take-one' chance—holy keewhiz!—I can just see it now! The Garden +ain't half big enough in the first place. There's enough Take-One'ers in +these parts to fill the old Coliseum. And they'd make the wild animals +look like a cage of rabbits or white mice." +</p> +<p> +Well, the upshot of it was, he persuaded me to charge an admission; so +we set it at $1.00 a head "on the hoof." I wrote out a card and sent it +to all the papers to print at advertising rates. It cost right smart, +but it looked neat: +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page46" name="page46"></a>[46]</span> + +<p class="center"> +TO EVERY STRANGER IN NEW +YORK, AND HIS LADY +</p> +<p class="quote"> +If you are not otherwise engaged on +Christmas night, the honor of your presence +at Madison Square Garden is requested by +</p> +<p class="center"> +<span class="sc">David Austin Crockett</span> +</p> +<p class="center"> +<i>Colonel Fifth Texas Cavalry, C. S. A.</i> +</p> +<p class="quote"> +Music, Dancing, Refreshments, Souvenirs. +For the purpose of keeping out the +undesirable element a charge of $1.00 will +be made. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0033b.png" style="float:left; clear:left; margin-right: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +I knew that them magic words, "Refreshments" and "Souvenirs," would hit +'em hard. In order to whet the public interest, I asked the papers where +I advertised to give the thing some editorial or other reference. But +they was very cold and said the best they could do was to send their +dramatic critics to criticise + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page47" name="page47"></a>[47]</span> + + the show afterward. A lot of good that +would do me! So I took more space in advertising. +</p> +<p> +In a day or two I was visited at the hotel by one of the most imperent +young fellows I ever met up with. He sent up a card, "<i>James J. James, +Publicity Expert.</i>" I said to show him in, and he sort of oozed through +the door—he was that oily. He looked about to see if we was alone; then +winked slow and important, and says: +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0033c.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0059a.png" style="float:right; clear:right; margin-left: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +"What's your game, Colonel? It looks pretty slick, but I can't quite +make it out. It's a new bunco, all right, but slick as it looks, it +ain't quite so slick as it ought to be." +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page48" name="page48"></a>[48]</span> + +<p> +"Look here, you cub," I roared, "if you imply that I have any evil +motives in this, I'll shoot you so full of holes you'll look like a +mosquito net!" +</p> +<p> +He wasn't a bit scared; he simply winked the other eye, and said in a +kind of foreign-sounding language: +</p> +<p> +"Forget it, Colonel! Cut it out! Back to the alfalfa with your Buffalo +Bill vocabulary! If you are really on the level, you don't need to prove +it with artillery. But it makes no diff. to me about that. My business +is producing fame, not merit. Once more I ask, what's your lay?" +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0059b.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0048"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0061.jpg"><img src="images/0061.jpg" width="350" height="490" +alt="James J. James, Publicity Expert" /></a> +<br /> +James J. James, Publicity Expert +</div> + +<!--<p>[Blank Page]</p>--> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0010b.png" style="float:left; clear:left; margin-right: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +I overcame a desire to kick him through the ceiling, and told him I + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page49" name="page49"></a>[49]</span> + + proposed to entertain the strangers in New York. +</p> +<p> +"Strangers in New York?—Why, that means everybody! There's been only +one man born in New York since the war, and he's kept in alcohol at a +dime muzhum. Your idea is really to give old New York a Christmas party, +eh? Very pretty! Very pretty, indeed! But if you insist on exploding +money all over the place, I don't see why you shouldn't get a run for +it. Besides, I need a bit of it myself. What you want is a press agent. +You're starting all wrong. People in New York can't understand or +believe anything except through the language of the + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page50" name="page50"></a>[50]</span> + + press agent. You +take one on your staff, and in three days you'll be so famous that, if a +child in a kindergarten is asked who is the Queen of Holland, it will +answer: 'Colonel Crockett, of Waco.'" +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0010c.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0065a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 85px; height: 401px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0065b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 196px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +Well, he poured out the most remarkable string of talk I ever heard, and +before I knew it he had made me promise to trust my soul and my scheme +to him; to be surprised at nothing that might appear in the papers, and +to refer all reporters to him. The next morning I found my name on the +front page of every journal, with my picture in most of them. It seems +I had held at bay two hundred angry Italians who + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page51" name="page51"></a>[51]</span> + + were trying to mob a +Chinese laundryman. The evening papers said that I had stopped a runaway +coach-and-four on Fifth Avenue, that morning, by lassoing the leader. On +the coach were Mrs. Aster, Mrs. Fitch, Reggie Vanderbuilt, George Goold, +Harry Leer and a passel of other "Among those presents." That night I +went to a music-hall—according to the next morning's papers—and broke +up the show by throwing a pocketful of solitaires to the chorus girls. +The next day three burglars got into my room; I held them up in a +corner, took away their masks, spanked them, and gave them each a +hundred-dollar bill to help them to avoid + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page52" name="page52"></a>[52]</span> + + temptation. That afternoon +the three big life-insurance companies asked me to be president. And so +on—you can read for yourself in the clippings—only for Heaven's sake +don't believe any of it. In every article was a neat allusion to my +Christmas party. +</p> +<p> +I wanted to kill James J. James, and I scoured the town for him, but he +dodged me. He kept his word, though. For the last few days I've been the +most talked-of man in town. Looks like I'd been the Only man in New +York. +</p> +<p> +And now to tell about my little party. For two days a regiment of men +was working in the Garden under + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page53" name="page53"></a>[53]</span> + + my direction—and at my expense. It was +like paying the war appropriation of Russia. But it was worth it. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0066a.png" style="float: left; clear: left; margin-right: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +At six o'clock Christmas night the crowd began to line up at the Garden +doors. At 6:30 a platoon of police arrived. At 6:40 the line reached +twice around the Garden. At 6:45 they sent for more police. At 7:15 +every street was solid with people. They called out the police reserves +and clubbed about four hundred innocent bystanders insensible. At 7:45 +the fire department was called and played the hose on the crowd. +</p> +<p> +This thinned 'em off a bit on the outsquirts. Then the ambulances give +out and the fainting women was + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page54" name="page54"></a>[54]</span> + + carried home in express wagons and +wheelbarrows. The subway was the only line that could run cars. +</p> +<p> +At 8:30 the doors opened. You should of seen the rush. The Galveston +flood wasn't in it. At 8:45 the Garden was so full they closed the +doors. That sent some of the outside crowd home. +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0066b.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<p> +The Garden was a beautiful sight. On the tower outside, in big electric +letters, there was a sign, "Merry Christmas to you and yours." +</p> +<p> +Inside it was decorated with holly leaves and berries—tons and tons of +it. At one end was built a big house with a chimbly and an old-fashioned +fireplace. The roof of the house + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page55" name="page55"></a>[55]</span> + + was covered with snow (cotton), and +the sky back of it was full of electric stars that twinkled something +beautiful. And there was a moon that looked like the real thing. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0069a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 85px; height: 399px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0069b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 188px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +There was four bands in the balconies and a chorus of angels with real +wings and electric halos. They sang "Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men," +written for the occasion by Mr. De Koven. +</p> +<p> +By and by all the bands bust out gorgeous, and then Santy Claus appeared +in a sleigh drawed by six real live stuffed reindeers. He run along the +sky on unseen grooves and drove up to the roof of the house, and slid +down the chimbly with a pack of + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page56" name="page56"></a>[56]</span> + + presents. He filled all the stockings +with candy cornycopies and toys, and a lot of attendants passed 'em out +to the childern. You should of heard them squeal with joy—poor little +tots, living in hotels and apartment places where Santy Claus would of +had to come up the steam radiator or the gas-log pipe to get in. Well, +my Santy Claus had to make sixteen trips to satisfy the childern. +</p> +<p> +The Garden was divided into sections, one for every State and Territory, +with its own shield in electric lights and colors. There was a native of +every State in charge, and every State had its own big Christmas tree, +and reception-room and refreshments. + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page57" name="page57"></a>[57]</span> + + Some of the people I noticed seemed +to of been born in several States at once, the way they passed from one +booth to another fillin' up their pockets and stummicks. I reckon they +paid for it the next day in doctors' bills. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0070a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 86px; height: 402px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0070b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 184px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +But there was nary a sign of rowdyism. That dollar admission was a +regular sieve for straining out the toughs. Then there were policemen +everywhere, and every other man nearly was a plain-clothes man or a +detective. Besides, after sober consideration, and on advice from the +Gardeners, I cut out all drinks, except soft stuff. So there were no +jags, except what some people brought + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page58" name="page58"></a>[58]</span> + + with them from their Christmas +dinners and loaded plum puddings. +</p> +<p> +And then, of course, that peculiar something we get into us at Christmas +time filled everybody with a sort of loving fellowship and a hankering +to hug their neighbors and divvy up their funds like a Mutual Life +Insurance Company prospectus says it's a-going to do some day. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<p> +In the centre of the hall there was a big sign in electric letters: +</p> +<p class="center"> +EVERYBODY IS HEREBY <br /> +INTRODUCED TO EVERYBODY <br /> +ELSE—FOR TO-NIGHT ONLY +</p> +<p> +At every State booth you'd see people gathering and recognizing old +friends or introducing theirselves to + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page59" name="page59"></a>[59]</span> + + new ones. It was surprising how +each State had its gathering. +</p> +<p> +At the Texas booth there was a big, immense crowd. A lot of them turned +out to be old friends of ours; school friends of yours, ranch friends +of mine, people I had worked for, people who had worked me—or for me. +A lot of them sent their love and a Merry Christmas to you. I remember +especially—— [Here we omit a list of names, somewhat lacking in +universal interest.] +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0073a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 90px; height: 392px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0073b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 188px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +I had advertised that people who wanted to give each other Christmas +presents could have them hung on the State trees. My attendants gave +them checks for their gifts and there + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page60" name="page60"></a>[60]</span> + + wasn't many mix-ups. Old Miss +Samanthy Clay got a box of cigars meant for Judge Randolph, and he got +a pair of silver-buckle garters meant for her. But most of them come out +right, and several of them was so surprised at getting presents in New +York that they bust out crying. Major Calhoun's whiskers was soaking wet +with tears when he got a bottle of old Bourbon from Judge Payton. +</p> +<p> +Rich folks who had been poor men met charter-members of the "I'm on to +your origin" association. But the Christmas spirit made them forget to +be snobs. You'd hear millionaires telling plain people how they used to + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page61" name="page61"></a>[61]</span> + + play Hallowe'en jokes, how they scraped up to buy their mothers little +Christmas gifts—what ridiculous things they used to get and give! +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0061"></a> +<div class="fig_block"> +<a href="images/f0075.jpg"><img src="images/0075.jpg" width="350" height="490" +alt="Old Miss Samanthy Clay got a box of cigars meant for Judge Randolph" /></a> +<br /> +Old Miss Samanthy Clay got a box of cigars meant for Judge Randolph +</div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<img src="images/0077a.png" style="float:right; clear:right; margin-left: 1em;" alt="" /> + +<p> +All evening as fast as anybody went out they'd let somebody else in. +Along about eleven o'clock a lot of the people began to go home. Then a +new crowd come in. People who had taken their childern home and put them +to bed would come back for more fun. Others, who had spent the evening +dining, began to dribble in. +</p> +<p> +All the actor-people and singers came. It was good to see them. Some of +them told me what a god-send such a thing was to them, + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page62" name="page62"></a>[62]</span> + + homeless by +profession. A lot of them brought their wives and babies. One father was +playing Romeo in Newark, his wife was playing Little Eva in Harlem, and +their daughter was playing Camille on Broadway. You should of seen them +rejoicing round the Kansas tree! +</p> +<p> +About midnight the big refreshment hall was opened and everybody that +could squeeze in set down to long tables where I had supper served. +I had some of the best after-dinner speakers in town come in, and you +should of heard some of the funny stories—it would of brought back dear +old childhood memories. Mayor McClellan gave + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page63" name="page63"></a>[63]</span> + + us all a welcome, and then +there was Chauncey Depew, of course, and Simeon Ford, and Augustus +Thomas, and Wilton Lackaye, and Job Hedges, and Lemuel Ely Quigg, and +General Horace Porter, and a passel of others. +</p> + +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/0077b.png" alt="" /> +</div> + +<p> +They all made the most surprising allusions to your poor old husband. +They called me Daddy and sang about me being a jolly good fellow. And +one of them christened me "Santy Crockett." Why, my ears burned so hot +I near set my collar on fire! It sure was worth all I spent, and I had +a terrible time to keep from blubbering. I must of swallowed about four +hundred and eleven Adam's apples. +</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page64" name="page64"></a>[64]</span> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0078a.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 85px; height: 392px;"></div> +<div style="float:left; background-image: url(images/0078b.png); margin-right: 1em; width: 365px; height: 197px; clear:left;"></div> + +<p> +Finally they called on me for a speech. I just kind o' gibbered—I don't +know what. The papers say I said: "Merry Christmas, my childern! This +old world sure is some comfortable, after all. The only trouble is that +the right people can't seem to get together at the right time often +enough. But this here Christmas supper tastes to me terrible much like +More. I'm going to try it again. And I hereby invite you all that ain't +in any better place or any better world to meet me here a year from +to-night. And so God bless you all, and—and God bless everybody!" +</p> +<p> +Then after a lot of song-singing + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page65" name="page65"></a>[65]</span> + + and hand-wringing we all went home, +tears in every eye and smiles on every mouth. The remnants of food +and toys made more than the twelve baskets full of Scripture. I sent +them round to the Hospitals and Orphant Asylums. I've engaged the +Garden again for next Christmas and paid a deposit down. It ain't the +extravagance it looks, either, for while the expenses was high—twelve +thousand-odd dollars—they took in at the door nearly eighteen thousand +dollars. I sent the profit to the Salvation Army and the Volunteers, and +now I'm being prayed for and hallelooyied for everywhere there's a bass +drum. But I'd do it + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page66" name="page66"></a>[66]</span> + + again if it cost me twenty thousand. It's worth +that and more to have your heart nearly break wide open with joy and +fellowship. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0069a.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 85px; height: 399px;"></div> +<div style="float:right; background-image: url(images/0069b.png); margin-left: 1em; width: 365px; height: 188px; clear:right;"></div> + +<p> +It was broad daylight when I got to bed, all wore out with happiness. +I cuddled up, like I was a little boy once more in the days when I used +to get up Christmas morning, cold and early, and look at my presents and +then crawl back under the covers again with a double armful of toys, to +keep warm and sleep some more. +</p> +<p> +If only you and the chicks had of been there! Next time you shall be. +</p> +<p class="right"> +Your loving <br /> +<span class="sc">Austin</span>. +</p> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<div class="blank"><br /></div> + +<a name="image-0070"></a> +<div class="figure"> +<img src="images/bcover.jpg" style="border: 1px solid green;" +alt="(Back Cover)" /> +</div> + +<div style="height: 6em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +</div><!--page_block--> + +<p class="quote"> +Transcriber's Note: In the original, pages in the main text are +surrounded on all sides by a series of decorative borders which +also repeat in mirror-image versions. These have been changed to +L-shaped illustrations, and at least one example of each has been +included. The decorative border at the left is a tile taken from +the endpapers of the original. +</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Colonel Crockett's Co-operative +Christmas, by Rupert Hughes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CO-OPERATIVE CHRISTMAS *** + +***** This file should be named 22696-h.htm or 22696-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/2/6/9/22696/ + +Produced by David Edwards, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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