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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/22479-8.txt b/22479-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9bb0b8b --- /dev/null +++ b/22479-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,872 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The +Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. Beresford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The Sceptical Poltergeist + From "The New Decameron", Volume III. + +Author: J. D. Beresford + +Release Date: August 31, 2007 [EBook #22479] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S TALE--THE SCEPTICAL POLTERGEIST + +From "The New Decameron"--Volume III. + +By J. D. Beresford + +There was once a time (he began) when I decided that I was a fraud; that +I could not be a psychical researcher any longer. I determined to give +it all up, to investigate no more phenomena nor attend another séance, +nor read a word about psychical research for the remainder of my life. +On the contrary, I planned an intensive study of the works of the later +Victorians, of that blissful period in the history of Europe when +we could believe in the comforting doctrine of materialism. "Oh!" I +thought, "that one had a Haeckel or a Huxley living now to console +us with their beautiful faith in the mortality of the soul!" The +Neo-Darwinians failed to convince me; the works of H. G. Wells left me +cold. + +I will tell you the events that brought me to this evil pass. + +It is not likely that anyone here will remember the Slipperton case. It +attracted little attention at the time. In 1905 there was still a little +sanity left in the world. A few even of the London dailies were nearly +sane then, and refused to report ghost stories unless they were known to +be untrue. And the Slipperton case had hardly any publicity--an inch +in the _Daily Mail_, headed "Family Evicted by Ghosts," was the only +newspaper report that I saw; though there may have been others. In these +days the story would be given a couple of columns opposite the leader +page; and the Sunday papers... + +I was connected with the thing because Edgar Slipperton and his wife +were friends of mine; quiet, old-fashioned people who believed that when +you were dead you _were_ dead, and that that was the end of it. + +The phenomena that drove them out of their house at last were of the +ordinary poltergeist type that date back to the days of John Wesley. The +Slippertons had a fat and very stupid cook, whom I suspected of being an +unconscious medium; but they were so attached to her that they refused +to give her notice, as I strongly advised them to do. They told me that +although she was constitutionally unable to grasp a new idea, such as +the idea of a different pudding, she was entirely dependable, always +doing the same things in the same way and with the same results. And +while this confirmed my suspicions that she was a spiritualistic medium, +I recognised that she might have useful qualities as a cook. + +The Slippertons stood it pretty well for a time. At first they were only +mildly inconvenienced. Things used to disappear mysteriously, and turn +up in unexpected places. Slipperton's pince-nez, for example, were lost, +and found inside the piano. And Mrs. Slipperton's "false front" would +be moved in the night from the dressing-table to the brass knob of the +bed-post, even after she took to pinning it to the toilet cover. Things +like that; irritating, but not really serious. + +But the trouble increased, grew to be beyond endurance in the end. The +poltergeists, with that lack of imagination which always characterises +them, started to play the old trick of pulling off the Slippertons' +bed-clothes in the middle of the night--one of the most annoying of the +spirits' antics. And they followed that by experimenting with the heavy +furniture. + +I was out of England when the trouble came to a head, and I heard +nothing of the later developments until after the Slippertons had left +the house. I happened to meet Slipperton by accident in the Haymarket, +and he took me into his club and gave me the whole story. Naturally, +I was glad of the chance to investigate, although I thought it very +probable that the phenomena would cease with the departure of the cook. +I determined, however, to go down and spend a week in the house, alone. +I was not dismayed by the fact that I should be unable to get any help +with my domestic arrangements, owing to the superstitious fears of the +villagers. I rather enjoyed cooking my own meals in those days. + +It was fine weather in late May when I went down, and I regarded +the visit as a kind of holiday rather than as a serious investigation. +Nevertheless, from force of habit I carried out my inquiry in the +scientific spirit that is so absolutely essential in these matters. +The Slippertons' house was on the outskirts of a small town in +Buckinghamshire. The shell of the house dated from the early seventeenth +century. (You will find it described in the _Inventory of the +Royal Commission on Historical Monuments_--the second volume of the +Buckinghamshire survey.) But the inside had been gutted and replanned to +suit our modern requirements, such as the need for making each bedroom +accessible without passing through other bedrooms, the necessity for a +fitted bathroom, and so on. + +I found the house as Slipperton had warned me that I should, in a +chaotic condition inside. Everything movable seemed to have been +moved--without any definite intention, so far as I could see, but just +for the sake of upsetting the decent order of the household. I found +a frying-pan, for instance, hung on the hook that was designed for the +dinner-gong, and the gong inside one of the beds. A complete set of +bedroom ware had been arranged on the drawing-room table; and apparently +some witticism had been contemplated with a chest of drawers, which had +become firmly wedged into the angle of the back staircase. In short, the +usual strange feats that characterise poltergeist phenomena. + +I touched none of these misplaced things with the exception of the +frying-pan, which I needed to cook the sausages I had brought with me; +but after I had had my meal, I went through all the rooms and entered +the position of every article in a large note-book, making plans of each +room, besides a full list of the furniture and ornaments it contained. +Later, I went up into the roof and disconnected the water supply, +afterwards emptying the cistern and all the pipes. And before I went +to bed I turned off the electric light at the main switch. All these +precautions, as I need hardly tell you, were absolutely essential. It +might appear difficult to explain the moving of a large chest of drawers +by the sound of water-pipes or the fusing of an electric wire; but the +critics of psychical research have essayed far more difficult tasks than +that, to their own entire satisfaction. + +I went up to the bedroom the Slippertons used to occupy, a little before +eleven o'clock. I had with me a couple of spare candles, a new notebook, +and a fountain pen. I was even at that time, I may add, a highly +trained researcher in every way, and was quite capable of taking a full +shorthand report of a séance. I tried my pulse and temperature before +getting into bed and found them both normal. So far, there had been no +sign of any phenomena; and I was not at all nervous. Indeed, I may say +that I have never been nervous with spirits. + +I had brought the _Pickwick Papers_ upstairs to read in bed--it is +always as well to choose some book that has no kind of bearing on the +subject of one's investigation--and I was in the middle of the Trial +Scene when my attention was caught by the sound of something moving in +the room. I had left both windows wide open and the curtains undrawn, +and I thought at first that an unusually large moth had flown in and was +fluttering against the ceiling. I laid down my book, sat up and looked +round the room, but I could see nothing. The night was very still, and +the candle on the table by my bed burnt without a flicker. Nevertheless, +the sound continued; a soft, irregular fluttering that suggested the +intermittent struggle of some feeble winged creature. It occurred to me +that a wounded bat or bird might have flown into the room and might be +struggling on the floor out of sight near the foot of the bed. And I +was about to get up and investigate when the flame of the candle sank +a little, and I became aware that the temperature of the room was +perceptibly colder. + +I picked up my note-book at once and made an entry of the circumstances, +and the exact time. + +When I looked up again, the sound of fluttering had ceased and the +candle was once more burning brightly; but I now perceived a kind of +uncertain vagueness that was apparently trying to climb on to the rail +at the foot of the bed. When I first saw it, it could not be described +as a form. It had rather the effect of a patch of dark mist, with an +irregular and changing outline, that obscured to a certain extent the +furnishings of the room immediately behind it. I must confess, however, +that my observations at this point were not so accurate as they should +have been, owing to the sudden realisation of my stupidity in not having +brought a camera and flashlight apparatus. The Slipper-tons had prepared +me for poltergeists, and I was, at that moment, distinctly annoyed at +being confronted with what I presumed to be an entirely different class +of phenomenon. Indeed, I was so annoyed that I was half inclined to blow +out the candle and go to sleep. I wish, now, that I had.... + +The Psychical Researcher paused and sighed deeply. Then producing a +large note-book from his pocket, he continued, despondently: + +I have got it all down here, and when I come to material that +necessitates verbal accuracy, I should prefer to read my notes aloud +rather than give an indefinite summary. In the first place, however, I +must give you some idea of the form that gradually materialised; of the +form, that is, as I originally saw it. + +It took the shape, I may say, of a smallish man, grotesquely +pot-bellied, with very thin legs and arms. The eyes were +disproportionately large and quite circular, with an expression that +was at once both impish and pathetic. The ears were immense, and set at +right angles to the head; the rest of the features indefinite. He was +dressed rather in the fashion of a medieval page. + +(The professor was heard to murmur, "The typical goblin," at this point, +but made no further interruption.) + +He sat with his feet crossed on the rail at the foot of the bed and +appeared able to balance himself without difficulty. He had been sitting +there for perhaps a couple of minutes, while I made various entries in +my note-book before I tried the experiment of addressing him. + +"Have you a message?" I asked. "If you cannot answer directly, knock +once for 'No,' and three times for 'Yes,' and afterwards we can try the +alphabet." + +To my great surprise, however, he was able to use the direct voice. His +tone was a trifle wheezy and thin at first, but afterwards gained power +and clearness. + +"I can hear you fairly well," he said. "Now do try to keep calm. It +isn't often that one gets such a chance as this." + +I will now read my notes. + +Myself. "I am perfectly calm. Go on." + +Spirit. "Will you try to answer my questions?" + +The Researcher looked up from his note-book with a frown of impatience +after reading these two entries, and said: + +But perhaps I had better summarise our earlier conversation for you. +There was, I may say, a somewhat long and distinctly complicated +misunderstanding between myself and the spirit before the real +interest of the message begins; a misunderstanding due to my complete +misapprehension of our respective parts. You see, it is unhappily +true--however much we may deplore the fact and try to guard against +it--that even in psychical research we form habits of thought and +method, but particularly of thought. And I had got into the habit of +regarding communications from spirits as referring to what we assume +to be the future life. Well, this communication didn't. The spirit with +whom I was talking had not, in short, ever been incarnated. He was what +the Spiritualists and Theosophists, and so on, call an "Elemental." +And to him, I represented the future state. I was, so to speak, +the communicating spirit and he the psychical researcher. He was, I +inferred, very far advanced on his own plane and expecting very shortly +to "pass over," as he put it. Also, I gathered that he was in his +own world by way of being an intellectual; keenly interested in the +future--that is, in our present state; and that the Slipperton phenomena +were entirely due to the experiments he had been carrying out ("on +strictly scientific lines," he assured me) to try and ascertain the +conditions of life on this plane. + +Perhaps I can, now, illustrate his attitude by a few quotations from our +conversation. For example: + +Spirit. "Are you happy where you are?" + +Myself. "Moderately. At times. Some of us are." + +Spirit. "Are you yourself happy?" + +Myself. "I may say so. Yes." + +Spirit. "What do you do? Try and give me some idea of life on your +plane." + +Myself. "It varies so immensely with the individual and the set in +which one lives. But we--oh! we have a great variety of what we call +'interests' and occupations, and most of us, of course, have to work for +our livings." + +Spirit. "I don't understand that. What are your livings, and how do you +work for them?" + +Myself. "We can't live without food, you see. We have to eat and drink +and sleep; protect ourselves against heat and cold and the weather +generally, which means clothes and shelter--garments to wear and houses +to live in, that is." + +Spirit. "I have inferred something of this very vaguely from my +experiments. For instance, I gather that you put on hair in the daytime, +and take it off when you are--where _you_ are at the present time. Also, +I have noticed that when the coverings which at present conceal you are +pulled away, you invariably replace them. Am I to deduce from that that +you try to keep your bodies warm and your heads cool at night?" + +Myself. "Well, that's a trifle complicated. About the hair, you +understand, some of us lose our hair--it comes out, we don't know +why--in middle life, as mine has, and women and some men are rather +ashamed of this and wear--er--other people's hair in the daytime to hide +the defect." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "Oh, vanity. We want to appear younger than we really are." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +The Researcher bent a little lower over his notebook as he said: + +I seem to have written "Damnation" at this point; but so far as I can +remember I did not speak the word aloud. You will see, however, that I +tried my best to be patient in what were really the most exasperating +circumstances. But I will miss the next page or two, and come to more +interesting material. Ah I here: + +Spirit. "This thing you call death, or dying? Am I to understand that it +corresponds to what we call incarnation?" + +Myself. "We are not sure. Some of us believe that our actual bodies will +rise again in the flesh; others that the body perishes and the spirit +survives in an uncertain state of which we have very little knowledge; +others, again, that death is the end of everything." + +Spirit. "In brief, you know nothing whatever about it?" + +Myself. "Uncommonly little." + +Spirit. "Do you remember your lives as elementals?" + +Myself (definitely). "No!" + +Spirit. "Then where do you suppose yourselves to begin?" + +Myself. "We don't know. There are various guesses. None of them +particularly likely." + +Spirit. "Such as?" + +Myself. "Oh, some of us believe that the soul or spirit is a special +creation made by a higher power we call God, and breathed into the body +at birth. And some that the soul or spirit, itself eternal, finds a +temporary house in the body, and progresses from one to another with +intervals between each incarnation." + +Spirit. "Then this being born is what we should call dying?" + +Myself. "Quite. It makes no difference. And, as a matter of fact, the +overwhelming majority of us--that is to say, all but about one in every +million--never bother our heads where we came from, or what's likely to +happen to us when we die, or are born, as you would call it." + +I have a note here that after this we were both silent for about ten +minutes. + +Spirit (despondently). "I wish I could get some sort of idea what you do +all the time and what you think about. I thought, when I so unexpectedly +got into touch with someone in the future state, that I should be able +to learn everything. And I have, so far, learnt nothing--absolutely +nothing. In fact, except that I have been able to correct my inferences +with regard to one or two purely material experiments, I may say that +I know less now than I did before. And, by the way, those things over +there--he pointed to the washstand--I noticed that at certain times you +go through some ceremony with them upstairs, and as I wished to discover +if there was any reason why you should not perform the same ceremony +downstairs, I moved the things. Well, I noticed that the spirit who +was here before you was apparently very annoyed. Can you give me any +explanation of that?" + +Myself. "Our bodies become soiled by contact with matter, and we wash +ourselves in water. We prefer to do it in our bedrooms." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "We use a certain set of rooms for one purpose and another set +for other purposes." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "I don't know why. We do." + +Spirit. "But you are sure of the fact, even if you can give no reason?" + +Myself. "Absolutely." + +Spirit. "I wish I could prove that. One of my fellow-scientists, who has +recently been able to press his investigations even further than I have +up to the present time, has recently brought forward good evidence to +prove that spirits are all black, wear no coverings on their bodies, +live in the simplest of dwellings, and, although they have a few +ceremonies, certainly have none which in any way corresponds to that you +have just described." + +Myself. "He has probably been investigating the habits of the Australian +aborigines." + +Spirit. "What are they?" + +Myself. "Men, or, as you would say, spirits, like us in a few respects, +but utterly different in most." + +Spirit. "Have you ever seen them?" + +Myself. "No." + +Spirit. "Or met anyone who has?" + +Myself. "No." + +Spirit. "Then this account of them tallies with nothing in your +experience." + +Myself. "No, but they exist all right. There's no doubt of that." + +Spirit. "I question it. In any case, I could not accept your word as +evidence, seeing that you have neither seen them yourself nor met with +anyone who has." + +And so on, you know (the Researcher muttered, flicking over the pages of +his note-book). + +He was infernally sceptical about those aborigines. It seems that he +had had a tremendous argument with the other investigator about the +possibility of "spirits" being black and naked, and he was dead set on +proving that he had been right. I think, as a matter of fact, that what +I said tended to confirm him in his theory. He put it that if there were +such spirits on this plane, I must have seen them or have had some quite +first-hand evidence of their existence; and when I said that I had +seen black people, Indians, and so on, he cross-examined me until I +got confused. You see, I had to confess that they weren't, strictly +speaking, black, that they wore clothes, and washed, and lived in +houses; and he got me involved in apparent contradictions--you have no +idea how easy it is, when you are trying to be very lucid--and then he +changed the subject with the remark that I was a very poor witness. + +It was about this time that I began to lose my temper. It was after +three o'clock when we got to that point, and I was getting very +tired, and, strange as it may appear, curiously doubtful about my own +existence. I had for some time been coming to the conclusion that he did +not quite believe in my reality; and after he had dismissed my account +of the black races as being untrustworthy, he said, half to himself, +that quite probably I was nothing more than an hallucination, a +thought projection of his own mind. And after that I got more and more +annoyed--partly, I think, because I had a kind of haunting fear that +what he had said might be true. When you have been talking to a spirit +for over three hours in the middle of the night, you are liable to doubt +anything. + +But it was foolish of me to try and prove to him that I had a real +objective existence, because obviously it wasn't possible. I tried to +touch him, and my hand went through him as if he were nothing more than +a patch of mist. Then I got right out of bed and moved various articles +about the room, but, as he said, that proved nothing, for if he had an +hallucination about me, he might equally well have one about the things +I appeared to move. And then we drifted into a futile argument as to +what I looked like. + +It began as a sort of test, to try if my own conception of myself +tallied with his; and it didn't--not in the very least. In fact, the +description he gave of me would have done very well for the typical +goblin of fairy-tale, which, as I told him, was precisely how _I_ saw +_him_. He laughed at that, and told me that, as a matter of fact, he had +no shape at all, and that my conception of him proved his description of +me was the correct one, because I had visualised myself. He said that he +would appear to me in any shape that I happened to be thinking of, and +naturally I should be thinking of my own. And I could not disprove a +thing he said; and when I looked at myself in the cheval glass, I was +not at all sure that I did not look like the traditional goblin. + +Well, I assure you that I felt just then as if the one possible way left +to demonstrate my sanity, my very existence, was to lose my temper; +and I did it very thoroughly. I raved up and down the room, knocked the +furniture about, chucked my boots through him, and called him a damned +elemental. And although it had no more effect upon him than if I had +been in another world--as I suppose in a sense I actually was--that +outbreak did help to restore my sanity. + +Perhaps you may have noticed that if a man is worsted in an argument +he invariably loses his temper? It is the only means he has left to +convince himself that he is right. Well, my temper did that for me on +this occasion. I could not prove my existence to that confounded spirit +by any logic or demonstration, but I could prove it to myself by getting +angry. And I did. + +The Researcher glared round the circle as if challenging anyone there to +deny the validity of his existence, then slapped his note-book together +and sat upon it. + +I do not expect you to believe my story (he concluded, with a touch of +vehemence). Indeed, I would much sooner that you did not believe it. +I have been trying to doubt it myself for the past eleven years, and I +still hope to succeed in that endeavour, aided by my intensive study of +the comforting theories of the later Victorian scientists. But I must +warn you that there was just one touch of what one might call evidence, +beyond my own impressions of that night--which may have been, and +probably were, a mixture of telepathy, hallucination, expectancy, and +auto-suggestion, that found expression in automatic writing. + +This rather flimsy piece of evidence rests upon a conclusion drawn from +the end of my conversation with the spirit. I was still banging about +the room, then, and I said that I had finished with psychical research, +that never again would I make the least inquiry with regard to a +possible future life, or any kind of spiritualistic phenomenon. And, +curiously enough, the poltergeist precisely echoed my resolve. He said +that that night's experience had clearly shown him that the research was +useless, that it could never prove anything, and that, even if it did, +no one would believe it. _For if_, as he pointed out, _we who were in a +manner of speaking face to face, were unable to prove our own existence +to each other, how could we expect to prove the other's existence to +anyone else?_ + +It was getting light then, and he faded out almost immediately +afterwards. + +But it is a fact that there were no more poltergeist phenomena in that +house, although the Slippertons went back to it a month or two later and +still have the same cook. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The +Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/22479-8.zip b/22479-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e1766c5 --- /dev/null +++ b/22479-8.zip diff --git a/22479-h.zip b/22479-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..de901d1 --- /dev/null +++ b/22479-h.zip diff --git a/22479-h/22479-h.htm b/22479-h/22479-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..692b431 --- /dev/null +++ b/22479-h/22479-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1015 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + The Psychical Researcher's Tale--the Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. + Beresford + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The +Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. Beresford + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The Sceptical Poltergeist + From "The New Decameron", Volume III. + +Author: J. D. Beresford + +Release Date: August 31, 2007 [EBook #22479] +Last Updated: February 4, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S TALE<br /> THE SCEPTICAL POLTERGEIST + </h1> + <h3> + From "The New Decameron"—Volume III. + </h3> + <h2> + By J. D. Beresford + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + There was once a time (he began) when I decided that I was a fraud; that I + could not be a psychical researcher any longer. I determined to give it + all up, to investigate no more phenomena nor attend another séance, nor + read a word about psychical research for the remainder of my life. On the + contrary, I planned an intensive study of the works of the later + Victorians, of that blissful period in the history of Europe when we could + believe in the comforting doctrine of materialism. "Oh!" I thought, "that + one had a Haeckel or a Huxley living now to console us with their + beautiful faith in the mortality of the soul!" The Neo-Darwinians failed + to convince me; the works of H. G. Wells left me cold. + </p> + <p> + I will tell you the events that brought me to this evil pass. + </p> + <p> + It is not likely that anyone here will remember the Slipperton case. It + attracted little attention at the time. In 1905 there was still a little + sanity left in the world. A few even of the London dailies were nearly + sane then, and refused to report ghost stories unless they were known to + be untrue. And the Slipperton case had hardly any publicity—an inch + in the <i>Daily Mail</i>, headed "Family Evicted by Ghosts," was the only + newspaper report that I saw; though there may have been others. In these + days the story would be given a couple of columns opposite the leader + page; and the Sunday papers... + </p> + <p> + I was connected with the thing because Edgar Slipperton and his wife were + friends of mine; quiet, old-fashioned people who believed that when you + were dead you <i>were</i> dead, and that that was the end of it. + </p> + <p> + The phenomena that drove them out of their house at last were of the + ordinary poltergeist type that date back to the days of John Wesley. The + Slippertons had a fat and very stupid cook, whom I suspected of being an + unconscious medium; but they were so attached to her that they refused to + give her notice, as I strongly advised them to do. They told me that + although she was constitutionally unable to grasp a new idea, such as the + idea of a different pudding, she was entirely dependable, always doing the + same things in the same way and with the same results. And while this + confirmed my suspicions that she was a spiritualistic medium, I recognised + that she might have useful qualities as a cook. + </p> + <p> + The Slippertons stood it pretty well for a time. At first they were only + mildly inconvenienced. Things used to disappear mysteriously, and turn up + in unexpected places. Slipperton's pince-nez, for example, were lost, and + found inside the piano. And Mrs. Slipperton's "false front" would be moved + in the night from the dressing-table to the brass knob of the bed-post, + even after she took to pinning it to the toilet cover. Things like that; + irritating, but not really serious. + </p> + <p> + But the trouble increased, grew to be beyond endurance in the end. The + poltergeists, with that lack of imagination which always characterises + them, started to play the old trick of pulling off the Slippertons' + bed-clothes in the middle of the night—one of the most annoying of + the spirits' antics. And they followed that by experimenting with the + heavy furniture. + </p> + <p> + I was out of England when the trouble came to a head, and I heard nothing + of the later developments until after the Slippertons had left the house. + I happened to meet Slipperton by accident in the Haymarket, and he took me + into his club and gave me the whole story. Naturally, I was glad of the + chance to investigate, although I thought it very probable that the + phenomena would cease with the departure of the cook. I determined, + however, to go down and spend a week in the house, alone. I was not + dismayed by the fact that I should be unable to get any help with my + domestic arrangements, owing to the superstitious fears of the villagers. + I rather enjoyed cooking my own meals in those days. + </p> + <p> + It was fine weather in late May when I went down, and I regarded the visit + as a kind of holiday rather than as a serious investigation. Nevertheless, + from force of habit I carried out my inquiry in the scientific spirit that + is so absolutely essential in these matters. The Slippertons' house was on + the outskirts of a small town in Buckinghamshire. The shell of the house + dated from the early seventeenth century. (You will find it described in + the <i>Inventory of the Royal Commission on Historical Monuments</i>—the + second volume of the Buckinghamshire survey.) But the inside had been + gutted and replanned to suit our modern requirements, such as the need for + making each bedroom accessible without passing through other bedrooms, the + necessity for a fitted bathroom, and so on. + </p> + <p> + I found the house as Slipperton had warned me that I should, in a chaotic + condition inside. Everything movable seemed to have been moved—without + any definite intention, so far as I could see, but just for the sake of + upsetting the decent order of the household. I found a frying-pan, for + instance, hung on the hook that was designed for the dinner-gong, and the + gong inside one of the beds. A complete set of bedroom ware had been + arranged on the drawing-room table; and apparently some witticism had been + contemplated with a chest of drawers, which had become firmly wedged into + the angle of the back staircase. In short, the usual strange feats that + characterise poltergeist phenomena. + </p> + <p> + I touched none of these misplaced things with the exception of the + frying-pan, which I needed to cook the sausages I had brought with me; but + after I had had my meal, I went through all the rooms and entered the + position of every article in a large note-book, making plans of each room, + besides a full list of the furniture and ornaments it contained. Later, I + went up into the roof and disconnected the water supply, afterwards + emptying the cistern and all the pipes. And before I went to bed I turned + off the electric light at the main switch. All these precautions, as I + need hardly tell you, were absolutely essential. It might appear difficult + to explain the moving of a large chest of drawers by the sound of + water-pipes or the fusing of an electric wire; but the critics of + psychical research have essayed far more difficult tasks than that, to + their own entire satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + I went up to the bedroom the Slippertons used to occupy, a little before + eleven o'clock. I had with me a couple of spare candles, a new notebook, + and a fountain pen. I was even at that time, I may add, a highly trained + researcher in every way, and was quite capable of taking a full shorthand + report of a séance. I tried my pulse and temperature before getting into + bed and found them both normal. So far, there had been no sign of any + phenomena; and I was not at all nervous. Indeed, I may say that I have + never been nervous with spirits. + </p> + <p> + I had brought the <i>Pickwick Papers</i> upstairs to read in bed—it + is always as well to choose some book that has no kind of bearing on the + subject of one's investigation—and I was in the middle of the Trial + Scene when my attention was caught by the sound of something moving in the + room. I had left both windows wide open and the curtains undrawn, and I + thought at first that an unusually large moth had flown in and was + fluttering against the ceiling. I laid down my book, sat up and looked + round the room, but I could see nothing. The night was very still, and the + candle on the table by my bed burnt without a flicker. Nevertheless, the + sound continued; a soft, irregular fluttering that suggested the + intermittent struggle of some feeble winged creature. It occurred to me + that a wounded bat or bird might have flown into the room and might be + struggling on the floor out of sight near the foot of the bed. And I was + about to get up and investigate when the flame of the candle sank a + little, and I became aware that the temperature of the room was + perceptibly colder. + </p> + <p> + I picked up my note-book at once and made an entry of the circumstances, + and the exact time. + </p> + <p> + When I looked up again, the sound of fluttering had ceased and the candle + was once more burning brightly; but I now perceived a kind of uncertain + vagueness that was apparently trying to climb on to the rail at the foot + of the bed. When I first saw it, it could not be described as a form. It + had rather the effect of a patch of dark mist, with an irregular and + changing outline, that obscured to a certain extent the furnishings of the + room immediately behind it. I must confess, however, that my observations + at this point were not so accurate as they should have been, owing to the + sudden realisation of my stupidity in not having brought a camera and + flashlight apparatus. The Slipper-tons had prepared me for poltergeists, + and I was, at that moment, distinctly annoyed at being confronted with + what I presumed to be an entirely different class of phenomenon. Indeed, I + was so annoyed that I was half inclined to blow out the candle and go to + sleep. I wish, now, that I had.... + </p> + <p> + The Psychical Researcher paused and sighed deeply. Then producing a large + note-book from his pocket, he continued, despondently: + </p> + <p> + I have got it all down here, and when I come to material that necessitates + verbal accuracy, I should prefer to read my notes aloud rather than give + an indefinite summary. In the first place, however, I must give you some + idea of the form that gradually materialised; of the form, that is, as I + originally saw it. + </p> + <p> + It took the shape, I may say, of a smallish man, grotesquely pot-bellied, + with very thin legs and arms. The eyes were disproportionately large and + quite circular, with an expression that was at once both impish and + pathetic. The ears were immense, and set at right angles to the head; the + rest of the features indefinite. He was dressed rather in the fashion of a + medieval page. + </p> + <p> + (The professor was heard to murmur, "The typical goblin," at this point, + but made no further interruption.) + </p> + <p> + He sat with his feet crossed on the rail at the foot of the bed and + appeared able to balance himself without difficulty. He had been sitting + there for perhaps a couple of minutes, while I made various entries in my + note-book before I tried the experiment of addressing him. + </p> + <p> + "Have you a message?" I asked. "If you cannot answer directly, knock once + for 'No,' and three times for 'Yes,' and afterwards we can try the + alphabet." + </p> + <p> + To my great surprise, however, he was able to use the direct voice. His + tone was a trifle wheezy and thin at first, but afterwards gained power + and clearness. + </p> + <p> + "I can hear you fairly well," he said. "Now do try to keep calm. It isn't + often that one gets such a chance as this." + </p> + <p> + I will now read my notes. + </p> + <p> + Myself. "I am perfectly calm. Go on." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Will you try to answer my questions?" + </p> + <p> + The Researcher looked up from his note-book with a frown of impatience + after reading these two entries, and said: + </p> + <p> + But perhaps I had better summarise our earlier conversation for you. There + was, I may say, a somewhat long and distinctly complicated + misunderstanding between myself and the spirit before the real interest of + the message begins; a misunderstanding due to my complete misapprehension + of our respective parts. You see, it is unhappily true—however much + we may deplore the fact and try to guard against it—that even in + psychical research we form habits of thought and method, but particularly + of thought. And I had got into the habit of regarding communications from + spirits as referring to what we assume to be the future life. Well, this + communication didn't. The spirit with whom I was talking had not, in + short, ever been incarnated. He was what the Spiritualists and + Theosophists, and so on, call an "Elemental." And to him, I represented + the future state. I was, so to speak, the communicating spirit and he the + psychical researcher. He was, I inferred, very far advanced on his own + plane and expecting very shortly to "pass over," as he put it. Also, I + gathered that he was in his own world by way of being an intellectual; + keenly interested in the future—that is, in our present state; and + that the Slipperton phenomena were entirely due to the experiments he had + been carrying out ("on strictly scientific lines," he assured me) to try + and ascertain the conditions of life on this plane. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps I can, now, illustrate his attitude by a few quotations from our + conversation. For example: + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Are you happy where you are?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Moderately. At times. Some of us are." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Are you yourself happy?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "I may say so. Yes." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "What do you do? Try and give me some idea of life on your plane." + </p> + <p> + Myself. "It varies so immensely with the individual and the set in which + one lives. But we—oh! we have a great variety of what we call + 'interests' and occupations, and most of us, of course, have to work for + our livings." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "I don't understand that. What are your livings, and how do you + work for them?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "We can't live without food, you see. We have to eat and drink and + sleep; protect ourselves against heat and cold and the weather generally, + which means clothes and shelter—garments to wear and houses to live + in, that is." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "I have inferred something of this very vaguely from my + experiments. For instance, I gather that you put on hair in the daytime, + and take it off when you are—where <i>you</i> are at the present + time. Also, I have noticed that when the coverings which at present + conceal you are pulled away, you invariably replace them. Am I to deduce + from that that you try to keep your bodies warm and your heads cool at + night?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Well, that's a trifle complicated. About the hair, you + understand, some of us lose our hair—it comes out, we don't know why—in + middle life, as mine has, and women and some men are rather ashamed of + this and wear—er—other people's hair in the daytime to hide + the defect." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Oh, vanity. We want to appear younger than we really are." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + The Researcher bent a little lower over his notebook as he said: + </p> + <p> + I seem to have written "Damnation" at this point; but so far as I can + remember I did not speak the word aloud. You will see, however, that I + tried my best to be patient in what were really the most exasperating + circumstances. But I will miss the next page or two, and come to more + interesting material. Ah I here: + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "This thing you call death, or dying? Am I to understand that it + corresponds to what we call incarnation?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "We are not sure. Some of us believe that our actual bodies will + rise again in the flesh; others that the body perishes and the spirit + survives in an uncertain state of which we have very little knowledge; + others, again, that death is the end of everything." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "In brief, you know nothing whatever about it?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Uncommonly little." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Do you remember your lives as elementals?" + </p> + <p> + Myself (definitely). "No!" + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Then where do you suppose yourselves to begin?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "We don't know. There are various guesses. None of them + particularly likely." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Such as?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Oh, some of us believe that the soul or spirit is a special + creation made by a higher power we call God, and breathed into the body at + birth. And some that the soul or spirit, itself eternal, finds a temporary + house in the body, and progresses from one to another with intervals + between each incarnation." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Then this being born is what we should call dying?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Quite. It makes no difference. And, as a matter of fact, the + overwhelming majority of us—that is to say, all but about one in + every million—never bother our heads where we came from, or what's + likely to happen to us when we die, or are born, as you would call it." + </p> + <p> + I have a note here that after this we were both silent for about ten + minutes. + </p> + <p> + Spirit (despondently). "I wish I could get some sort of idea what you do + all the time and what you think about. I thought, when I so unexpectedly + got into touch with someone in the future state, that I should be able to + learn everything. And I have, so far, learnt nothing—absolutely + nothing. In fact, except that I have been able to correct my inferences + with regard to one or two purely material experiments, I may say that I + know less now than I did before. And, by the way, those things over there—he + pointed to the washstand—I noticed that at certain times you go + through some ceremony with them upstairs, and as I wished to discover if + there was any reason why you should not perform the same ceremony + downstairs, I moved the things. Well, I noticed that the spirit who was + here before you was apparently very annoyed. Can you give me any + explanation of that?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Our bodies become soiled by contact with matter, and we wash + ourselves in water. We prefer to do it in our bedrooms." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "We use a certain set of rooms for one purpose and another set for + other purposes." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Why?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "I don't know why. We do." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "But you are sure of the fact, even if you can give no reason?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Absolutely." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "I wish I could prove that. One of my fellow-scientists, who has + recently been able to press his investigations even further than I have up + to the present time, has recently brought forward good evidence to prove + that spirits are all black, wear no coverings on their bodies, live in the + simplest of dwellings, and, although they have a few ceremonies, certainly + have none which in any way corresponds to that you have just described." + </p> + <p> + Myself. "He has probably been investigating the habits of the Australian + aborigines." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "What are they?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "Men, or, as you would say, spirits, like us in a few respects, + but utterly different in most." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Have you ever seen them?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "No." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Or met anyone who has?" + </p> + <p> + Myself. "No." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "Then this account of them tallies with nothing in your + experience." + </p> + <p> + Myself. "No, but they exist all right. There's no doubt of that." + </p> + <p> + Spirit. "I question it. In any case, I could not accept your word as + evidence, seeing that you have neither seen them yourself nor met with + anyone who has." + </p> + <p> + And so on, you know (the Researcher muttered, flicking over the pages of + his note-book). + </p> + <p> + He was infernally sceptical about those aborigines. It seems that he had + had a tremendous argument with the other investigator about the + possibility of "spirits" being black and naked, and he was dead set on + proving that he had been right. I think, as a matter of fact, that what I + said tended to confirm him in his theory. He put it that if there were + such spirits on this plane, I must have seen them or have had some quite + first-hand evidence of their existence; and when I said that I had seen + black people, Indians, and so on, he cross-examined me until I got + confused. You see, I had to confess that they weren't, strictly speaking, + black, that they wore clothes, and washed, and lived in houses; and he got + me involved in apparent contradictions—you have no idea how easy it + is, when you are trying to be very lucid—and then he changed the + subject with the remark that I was a very poor witness. + </p> + <p> + It was about this time that I began to lose my temper. It was after three + o'clock when we got to that point, and I was getting very tired, and, + strange as it may appear, curiously doubtful about my own existence. I had + for some time been coming to the conclusion that he did not quite believe + in my reality; and after he had dismissed my account of the black races as + being untrustworthy, he said, half to himself, that quite probably I was + nothing more than an hallucination, a thought projection of his own mind. + And after that I got more and more annoyed—partly, I think, because + I had a kind of haunting fear that what he had said might be true. When + you have been talking to a spirit for over three hours in the middle of + the night, you are liable to doubt anything. + </p> + <p> + But it was foolish of me to try and prove to him that I had a real + objective existence, because obviously it wasn't possible. I tried to + touch him, and my hand went through him as if he were nothing more than a + patch of mist. Then I got right out of bed and moved various articles + about the room, but, as he said, that proved nothing, for if he had an + hallucination about me, he might equally well have one about the things I + appeared to move. And then we drifted into a futile argument as to what I + looked like. + </p> + <p> + It began as a sort of test, to try if my own conception of myself tallied + with his; and it didn't—not in the very least. In fact, the + description he gave of me would have done very well for the typical goblin + of fairy-tale, which, as I told him, was precisely how <i>I</i> saw <i>him</i>. + He laughed at that, and told me that, as a matter of fact, he had no shape + at all, and that my conception of him proved his description of me was the + correct one, because I had visualised myself. He said that he would appear + to me in any shape that I happened to be thinking of, and naturally I + should be thinking of my own. And I could not disprove a thing he said; + and when I looked at myself in the cheval glass, I was not at all sure + that I did not look like the traditional goblin. + </p> + <p> + Well, I assure you that I felt just then as if the one possible way left + to demonstrate my sanity, my very existence, was to lose my temper; and I + did it very thoroughly. I raved up and down the room, knocked the + furniture about, chucked my boots through him, and called him a damned + elemental. And although it had no more effect upon him than if I had been + in another world—as I suppose in a sense I actually was—that + outbreak did help to restore my sanity. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps you may have noticed that if a man is worsted in an argument he + invariably loses his temper? It is the only means he has left to convince + himself that he is right. Well, my temper did that for me on this + occasion. I could not prove my existence to that confounded spirit by any + logic or demonstration, but I could prove it to myself by getting angry. + And I did. + </p> + <p> + The Researcher glared round the circle as if challenging anyone there to + deny the validity of his existence, then slapped his note-book together + and sat upon it. + </p> + <p> + I do not expect you to believe my story (he concluded, with a touch of + vehemence). Indeed, I would much sooner that you did not believe it. I + have been trying to doubt it myself for the past eleven years, and I still + hope to succeed in that endeavour, aided by my intensive study of the + comforting theories of the later Victorian scientists. But I must warn you + that there was just one touch of what one might call evidence, beyond my + own impressions of that night—which may have been, and probably + were, a mixture of telepathy, hallucination, expectancy, and + auto-suggestion, that found expression in automatic writing. + </p> + <p> + This rather flimsy piece of evidence rests upon a conclusion drawn from + the end of my conversation with the spirit. I was still banging about the + room, then, and I said that I had finished with psychical research, that + never again would I make the least inquiry with regard to a possible + future life, or any kind of spiritualistic phenomenon. And, curiously + enough, the poltergeist precisely echoed my resolve. He said that that + night's experience had clearly shown him that the research was useless, + that it could never prove anything, and that, even if it did, no one would + believe it. <i>For if</i>, as he pointed out, <i>we who were in a manner + of speaking face to face, were unable to prove our own existence to each + other, how could we expect to prove the other's existence to anyone else?</i> + </p> + <p> + It was getting light then, and he faded out almost immediately afterwards. + </p> + <p> + But it is a fact that there were no more poltergeist phenomena in that + house, although the Slippertons went back to it a month or two later and + still have the same cook. + </p> + <p> + Printed in Great Britain by Harell, Watson & Viney, Li., London and + Aylesbury. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The +Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The Sceptical Poltergeist + From "The New Decameron", Volume III. + +Author: J. D. Beresford + +Release Date: August 31, 2007 [EBook #22479] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE PSYCHICAL RESEARCHER'S TALE--THE SCEPTICAL POLTERGEIST + +From "The New Decameron"--Volume III. + +By J. D. Beresford + +There was once a time (he began) when I decided that I was a fraud; that +I could not be a psychical researcher any longer. I determined to give +it all up, to investigate no more phenomena nor attend another seance, +nor read a word about psychical research for the remainder of my life. +On the contrary, I planned an intensive study of the works of the later +Victorians, of that blissful period in the history of Europe when +we could believe in the comforting doctrine of materialism. "Oh!" I +thought, "that one had a Haeckel or a Huxley living now to console +us with their beautiful faith in the mortality of the soul!" The +Neo-Darwinians failed to convince me; the works of H. G. Wells left me +cold. + +I will tell you the events that brought me to this evil pass. + +It is not likely that anyone here will remember the Slipperton case. It +attracted little attention at the time. In 1905 there was still a little +sanity left in the world. A few even of the London dailies were nearly +sane then, and refused to report ghost stories unless they were known to +be untrue. And the Slipperton case had hardly any publicity--an inch +in the _Daily Mail_, headed "Family Evicted by Ghosts," was the only +newspaper report that I saw; though there may have been others. In these +days the story would be given a couple of columns opposite the leader +page; and the Sunday papers... + +I was connected with the thing because Edgar Slipperton and his wife +were friends of mine; quiet, old-fashioned people who believed that when +you were dead you _were_ dead, and that that was the end of it. + +The phenomena that drove them out of their house at last were of the +ordinary poltergeist type that date back to the days of John Wesley. The +Slippertons had a fat and very stupid cook, whom I suspected of being an +unconscious medium; but they were so attached to her that they refused +to give her notice, as I strongly advised them to do. They told me that +although she was constitutionally unable to grasp a new idea, such as +the idea of a different pudding, she was entirely dependable, always +doing the same things in the same way and with the same results. And +while this confirmed my suspicions that she was a spiritualistic medium, +I recognised that she might have useful qualities as a cook. + +The Slippertons stood it pretty well for a time. At first they were only +mildly inconvenienced. Things used to disappear mysteriously, and turn +up in unexpected places. Slipperton's pince-nez, for example, were lost, +and found inside the piano. And Mrs. Slipperton's "false front" would +be moved in the night from the dressing-table to the brass knob of the +bed-post, even after she took to pinning it to the toilet cover. Things +like that; irritating, but not really serious. + +But the trouble increased, grew to be beyond endurance in the end. The +poltergeists, with that lack of imagination which always characterises +them, started to play the old trick of pulling off the Slippertons' +bed-clothes in the middle of the night--one of the most annoying of the +spirits' antics. And they followed that by experimenting with the heavy +furniture. + +I was out of England when the trouble came to a head, and I heard +nothing of the later developments until after the Slippertons had left +the house. I happened to meet Slipperton by accident in the Haymarket, +and he took me into his club and gave me the whole story. Naturally, +I was glad of the chance to investigate, although I thought it very +probable that the phenomena would cease with the departure of the cook. +I determined, however, to go down and spend a week in the house, alone. +I was not dismayed by the fact that I should be unable to get any help +with my domestic arrangements, owing to the superstitious fears of the +villagers. I rather enjoyed cooking my own meals in those days. + +It was fine weather in late May when I went down, and I regarded +the visit as a kind of holiday rather than as a serious investigation. +Nevertheless, from force of habit I carried out my inquiry in the +scientific spirit that is so absolutely essential in these matters. +The Slippertons' house was on the outskirts of a small town in +Buckinghamshire. The shell of the house dated from the early seventeenth +century. (You will find it described in the _Inventory of the +Royal Commission on Historical Monuments_--the second volume of the +Buckinghamshire survey.) But the inside had been gutted and replanned to +suit our modern requirements, such as the need for making each bedroom +accessible without passing through other bedrooms, the necessity for a +fitted bathroom, and so on. + +I found the house as Slipperton had warned me that I should, in a +chaotic condition inside. Everything movable seemed to have been +moved--without any definite intention, so far as I could see, but just +for the sake of upsetting the decent order of the household. I found +a frying-pan, for instance, hung on the hook that was designed for the +dinner-gong, and the gong inside one of the beds. A complete set of +bedroom ware had been arranged on the drawing-room table; and apparently +some witticism had been contemplated with a chest of drawers, which had +become firmly wedged into the angle of the back staircase. In short, the +usual strange feats that characterise poltergeist phenomena. + +I touched none of these misplaced things with the exception of the +frying-pan, which I needed to cook the sausages I had brought with me; +but after I had had my meal, I went through all the rooms and entered +the position of every article in a large note-book, making plans of each +room, besides a full list of the furniture and ornaments it contained. +Later, I went up into the roof and disconnected the water supply, +afterwards emptying the cistern and all the pipes. And before I went +to bed I turned off the electric light at the main switch. All these +precautions, as I need hardly tell you, were absolutely essential. It +might appear difficult to explain the moving of a large chest of drawers +by the sound of water-pipes or the fusing of an electric wire; but the +critics of psychical research have essayed far more difficult tasks than +that, to their own entire satisfaction. + +I went up to the bedroom the Slippertons used to occupy, a little before +eleven o'clock. I had with me a couple of spare candles, a new notebook, +and a fountain pen. I was even at that time, I may add, a highly +trained researcher in every way, and was quite capable of taking a full +shorthand report of a seance. I tried my pulse and temperature before +getting into bed and found them both normal. So far, there had been no +sign of any phenomena; and I was not at all nervous. Indeed, I may say +that I have never been nervous with spirits. + +I had brought the _Pickwick Papers_ upstairs to read in bed--it is +always as well to choose some book that has no kind of bearing on the +subject of one's investigation--and I was in the middle of the Trial +Scene when my attention was caught by the sound of something moving in +the room. I had left both windows wide open and the curtains undrawn, +and I thought at first that an unusually large moth had flown in and was +fluttering against the ceiling. I laid down my book, sat up and looked +round the room, but I could see nothing. The night was very still, and +the candle on the table by my bed burnt without a flicker. Nevertheless, +the sound continued; a soft, irregular fluttering that suggested the +intermittent struggle of some feeble winged creature. It occurred to me +that a wounded bat or bird might have flown into the room and might be +struggling on the floor out of sight near the foot of the bed. And I +was about to get up and investigate when the flame of the candle sank +a little, and I became aware that the temperature of the room was +perceptibly colder. + +I picked up my note-book at once and made an entry of the circumstances, +and the exact time. + +When I looked up again, the sound of fluttering had ceased and the +candle was once more burning brightly; but I now perceived a kind of +uncertain vagueness that was apparently trying to climb on to the rail +at the foot of the bed. When I first saw it, it could not be described +as a form. It had rather the effect of a patch of dark mist, with an +irregular and changing outline, that obscured to a certain extent the +furnishings of the room immediately behind it. I must confess, however, +that my observations at this point were not so accurate as they should +have been, owing to the sudden realisation of my stupidity in not having +brought a camera and flashlight apparatus. The Slipper-tons had prepared +me for poltergeists, and I was, at that moment, distinctly annoyed at +being confronted with what I presumed to be an entirely different class +of phenomenon. Indeed, I was so annoyed that I was half inclined to blow +out the candle and go to sleep. I wish, now, that I had.... + +The Psychical Researcher paused and sighed deeply. Then producing a +large note-book from his pocket, he continued, despondently: + +I have got it all down here, and when I come to material that +necessitates verbal accuracy, I should prefer to read my notes aloud +rather than give an indefinite summary. In the first place, however, I +must give you some idea of the form that gradually materialised; of the +form, that is, as I originally saw it. + +It took the shape, I may say, of a smallish man, grotesquely +pot-bellied, with very thin legs and arms. The eyes were +disproportionately large and quite circular, with an expression that +was at once both impish and pathetic. The ears were immense, and set at +right angles to the head; the rest of the features indefinite. He was +dressed rather in the fashion of a medieval page. + +(The professor was heard to murmur, "The typical goblin," at this point, +but made no further interruption.) + +He sat with his feet crossed on the rail at the foot of the bed and +appeared able to balance himself without difficulty. He had been sitting +there for perhaps a couple of minutes, while I made various entries in +my note-book before I tried the experiment of addressing him. + +"Have you a message?" I asked. "If you cannot answer directly, knock +once for 'No,' and three times for 'Yes,' and afterwards we can try the +alphabet." + +To my great surprise, however, he was able to use the direct voice. His +tone was a trifle wheezy and thin at first, but afterwards gained power +and clearness. + +"I can hear you fairly well," he said. "Now do try to keep calm. It +isn't often that one gets such a chance as this." + +I will now read my notes. + +Myself. "I am perfectly calm. Go on." + +Spirit. "Will you try to answer my questions?" + +The Researcher looked up from his note-book with a frown of impatience +after reading these two entries, and said: + +But perhaps I had better summarise our earlier conversation for you. +There was, I may say, a somewhat long and distinctly complicated +misunderstanding between myself and the spirit before the real +interest of the message begins; a misunderstanding due to my complete +misapprehension of our respective parts. You see, it is unhappily +true--however much we may deplore the fact and try to guard against +it--that even in psychical research we form habits of thought and +method, but particularly of thought. And I had got into the habit of +regarding communications from spirits as referring to what we assume +to be the future life. Well, this communication didn't. The spirit with +whom I was talking had not, in short, ever been incarnated. He was what +the Spiritualists and Theosophists, and so on, call an "Elemental." +And to him, I represented the future state. I was, so to speak, +the communicating spirit and he the psychical researcher. He was, I +inferred, very far advanced on his own plane and expecting very shortly +to "pass over," as he put it. Also, I gathered that he was in his +own world by way of being an intellectual; keenly interested in the +future--that is, in our present state; and that the Slipperton phenomena +were entirely due to the experiments he had been carrying out ("on +strictly scientific lines," he assured me) to try and ascertain the +conditions of life on this plane. + +Perhaps I can, now, illustrate his attitude by a few quotations from our +conversation. For example: + +Spirit. "Are you happy where you are?" + +Myself. "Moderately. At times. Some of us are." + +Spirit. "Are you yourself happy?" + +Myself. "I may say so. Yes." + +Spirit. "What do you do? Try and give me some idea of life on your +plane." + +Myself. "It varies so immensely with the individual and the set in +which one lives. But we--oh! we have a great variety of what we call +'interests' and occupations, and most of us, of course, have to work for +our livings." + +Spirit. "I don't understand that. What are your livings, and how do you +work for them?" + +Myself. "We can't live without food, you see. We have to eat and drink +and sleep; protect ourselves against heat and cold and the weather +generally, which means clothes and shelter--garments to wear and houses +to live in, that is." + +Spirit. "I have inferred something of this very vaguely from my +experiments. For instance, I gather that you put on hair in the daytime, +and take it off when you are--where _you_ are at the present time. Also, +I have noticed that when the coverings which at present conceal you are +pulled away, you invariably replace them. Am I to deduce from that that +you try to keep your bodies warm and your heads cool at night?" + +Myself. "Well, that's a trifle complicated. About the hair, you +understand, some of us lose our hair--it comes out, we don't know +why--in middle life, as mine has, and women and some men are rather +ashamed of this and wear--er--other people's hair in the daytime to hide +the defect." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "Oh, vanity. We want to appear younger than we really are." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +The Researcher bent a little lower over his notebook as he said: + +I seem to have written "Damnation" at this point; but so far as I can +remember I did not speak the word aloud. You will see, however, that I +tried my best to be patient in what were really the most exasperating +circumstances. But I will miss the next page or two, and come to more +interesting material. Ah I here: + +Spirit. "This thing you call death, or dying? Am I to understand that it +corresponds to what we call incarnation?" + +Myself. "We are not sure. Some of us believe that our actual bodies will +rise again in the flesh; others that the body perishes and the spirit +survives in an uncertain state of which we have very little knowledge; +others, again, that death is the end of everything." + +Spirit. "In brief, you know nothing whatever about it?" + +Myself. "Uncommonly little." + +Spirit. "Do you remember your lives as elementals?" + +Myself (definitely). "No!" + +Spirit. "Then where do you suppose yourselves to begin?" + +Myself. "We don't know. There are various guesses. None of them +particularly likely." + +Spirit. "Such as?" + +Myself. "Oh, some of us believe that the soul or spirit is a special +creation made by a higher power we call God, and breathed into the body +at birth. And some that the soul or spirit, itself eternal, finds a +temporary house in the body, and progresses from one to another with +intervals between each incarnation." + +Spirit. "Then this being born is what we should call dying?" + +Myself. "Quite. It makes no difference. And, as a matter of fact, the +overwhelming majority of us--that is to say, all but about one in every +million--never bother our heads where we came from, or what's likely to +happen to us when we die, or are born, as you would call it." + +I have a note here that after this we were both silent for about ten +minutes. + +Spirit (despondently). "I wish I could get some sort of idea what you do +all the time and what you think about. I thought, when I so unexpectedly +got into touch with someone in the future state, that I should be able +to learn everything. And I have, so far, learnt nothing--absolutely +nothing. In fact, except that I have been able to correct my inferences +with regard to one or two purely material experiments, I may say that +I know less now than I did before. And, by the way, those things over +there--he pointed to the washstand--I noticed that at certain times you +go through some ceremony with them upstairs, and as I wished to discover +if there was any reason why you should not perform the same ceremony +downstairs, I moved the things. Well, I noticed that the spirit who +was here before you was apparently very annoyed. Can you give me any +explanation of that?" + +Myself. "Our bodies become soiled by contact with matter, and we wash +ourselves in water. We prefer to do it in our bedrooms." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "We use a certain set of rooms for one purpose and another set +for other purposes." + +Spirit. "Why?" + +Myself. "I don't know why. We do." + +Spirit. "But you are sure of the fact, even if you can give no reason?" + +Myself. "Absolutely." + +Spirit. "I wish I could prove that. One of my fellow-scientists, who has +recently been able to press his investigations even further than I have +up to the present time, has recently brought forward good evidence to +prove that spirits are all black, wear no coverings on their bodies, +live in the simplest of dwellings, and, although they have a few +ceremonies, certainly have none which in any way corresponds to that you +have just described." + +Myself. "He has probably been investigating the habits of the Australian +aborigines." + +Spirit. "What are they?" + +Myself. "Men, or, as you would say, spirits, like us in a few respects, +but utterly different in most." + +Spirit. "Have you ever seen them?" + +Myself. "No." + +Spirit. "Or met anyone who has?" + +Myself. "No." + +Spirit. "Then this account of them tallies with nothing in your +experience." + +Myself. "No, but they exist all right. There's no doubt of that." + +Spirit. "I question it. In any case, I could not accept your word as +evidence, seeing that you have neither seen them yourself nor met with +anyone who has." + +And so on, you know (the Researcher muttered, flicking over the pages of +his note-book). + +He was infernally sceptical about those aborigines. It seems that he +had had a tremendous argument with the other investigator about the +possibility of "spirits" being black and naked, and he was dead set on +proving that he had been right. I think, as a matter of fact, that what +I said tended to confirm him in his theory. He put it that if there were +such spirits on this plane, I must have seen them or have had some quite +first-hand evidence of their existence; and when I said that I had +seen black people, Indians, and so on, he cross-examined me until I +got confused. You see, I had to confess that they weren't, strictly +speaking, black, that they wore clothes, and washed, and lived in +houses; and he got me involved in apparent contradictions--you have no +idea how easy it is, when you are trying to be very lucid--and then he +changed the subject with the remark that I was a very poor witness. + +It was about this time that I began to lose my temper. It was after +three o'clock when we got to that point, and I was getting very +tired, and, strange as it may appear, curiously doubtful about my own +existence. I had for some time been coming to the conclusion that he did +not quite believe in my reality; and after he had dismissed my account +of the black races as being untrustworthy, he said, half to himself, +that quite probably I was nothing more than an hallucination, a +thought projection of his own mind. And after that I got more and more +annoyed--partly, I think, because I had a kind of haunting fear that +what he had said might be true. When you have been talking to a spirit +for over three hours in the middle of the night, you are liable to doubt +anything. + +But it was foolish of me to try and prove to him that I had a real +objective existence, because obviously it wasn't possible. I tried to +touch him, and my hand went through him as if he were nothing more than +a patch of mist. Then I got right out of bed and moved various articles +about the room, but, as he said, that proved nothing, for if he had an +hallucination about me, he might equally well have one about the things +I appeared to move. And then we drifted into a futile argument as to +what I looked like. + +It began as a sort of test, to try if my own conception of myself +tallied with his; and it didn't--not in the very least. In fact, the +description he gave of me would have done very well for the typical +goblin of fairy-tale, which, as I told him, was precisely how _I_ saw +_him_. He laughed at that, and told me that, as a matter of fact, he had +no shape at all, and that my conception of him proved his description of +me was the correct one, because I had visualised myself. He said that he +would appear to me in any shape that I happened to be thinking of, and +naturally I should be thinking of my own. And I could not disprove a +thing he said; and when I looked at myself in the cheval glass, I was +not at all sure that I did not look like the traditional goblin. + +Well, I assure you that I felt just then as if the one possible way left +to demonstrate my sanity, my very existence, was to lose my temper; +and I did it very thoroughly. I raved up and down the room, knocked the +furniture about, chucked my boots through him, and called him a damned +elemental. And although it had no more effect upon him than if I had +been in another world--as I suppose in a sense I actually was--that +outbreak did help to restore my sanity. + +Perhaps you may have noticed that if a man is worsted in an argument +he invariably loses his temper? It is the only means he has left to +convince himself that he is right. Well, my temper did that for me on +this occasion. I could not prove my existence to that confounded spirit +by any logic or demonstration, but I could prove it to myself by getting +angry. And I did. + +The Researcher glared round the circle as if challenging anyone there to +deny the validity of his existence, then slapped his note-book together +and sat upon it. + +I do not expect you to believe my story (he concluded, with a touch of +vehemence). Indeed, I would much sooner that you did not believe it. +I have been trying to doubt it myself for the past eleven years, and I +still hope to succeed in that endeavour, aided by my intensive study of +the comforting theories of the later Victorian scientists. But I must +warn you that there was just one touch of what one might call evidence, +beyond my own impressions of that night--which may have been, and +probably were, a mixture of telepathy, hallucination, expectancy, and +auto-suggestion, that found expression in automatic writing. + +This rather flimsy piece of evidence rests upon a conclusion drawn from +the end of my conversation with the spirit. I was still banging about +the room, then, and I said that I had finished with psychical research, +that never again would I make the least inquiry with regard to a +possible future life, or any kind of spiritualistic phenomenon. And, +curiously enough, the poltergeist precisely echoed my resolve. He said +that that night's experience had clearly shown him that the research was +useless, that it could never prove anything, and that, even if it did, +no one would believe it. _For if_, as he pointed out, _we who were in a +manner of speaking face to face, were unable to prove our own existence +to each other, how could we expect to prove the other's existence to +anyone else?_ + +It was getting light then, and he faded out almost immediately +afterwards. + +But it is a fact that there were no more poltergeist phenomena in that +house, although the Slippertons went back to it a month or two later and +still have the same cook. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Psychical Researcher's Tale - The +Sceptical Poltergeist, by J. D. 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