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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104,
+March 4, 1893, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, March 4, 1893
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: Francis Burnand
+
+Release Date: August 23, 2007 [EBook #22380]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Matt Whittaker, Juliet Sutherland and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note: The short pieces "Suppositious" and "Quite Another
+Thing" were moved from their original positions accompanying the
+illustration "The Political Fancy Dress Ball at Covent Gardent" to the end,
+to prevent the "Essence of Parliament" article from being broken in the
+middle.
+
+
+
+
+PUNCH,
+
+OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
+
+VOL. 104.
+
+
+
+
+March 4, 1893.
+
+
+
+
+A BALLAD OF WEALTHY WOOING.
+
+  Ah, why, my Love, receive me
+    With such tip-tilted scorn?
+  Self-love can scarce retrieve me
+    From obloquy forlorn;
+  'Twas not my fault, believe me,
+    That wealthy I was born.
+  Of Nature's gifts invidious
+    I'd choose I know not which;
+  One might as well be hideous
+    As shunn'd because he's rich.
+      O Love, if thou art bitter,
+        Then death must pleasant be;
+      I know not which is fitter,
+        Not I--(or is't "not me"?)
+
+  'Tis not that thou abhorrest,
+    Oh, maid of dainty mould!
+  The foison of the florist,
+    The goldsmith's craft of gold;
+  Nor less than others storest
+    Rare pelts by furriers sold;
+  But knowing I adore thee,
+    And deem all graces thine,
+  My choicest offerings bore
+    Just because they are mine.
+      Then, smile not, dear deceiver,
+        Keep no kind word for me,
+      Enough that the receiver
+        Is thou--(or is it "thee"?)
+
+  When others come, how trimly
+    Thou sett'st thy chatty sail!
+  For me alone all dimly
+    Seemeth the sun to fail.
+  Young FRANK he frowneth grimly,
+    And thou turn'st haughty pale.
+  'Tis not the taint of "City,"
+    For here be scores who sport
+  Their Mayfair manners pretty
+    In Cop-the-Needle Court.
+      Ah, chill me not so coolly,
+        A Croesus though I be--
+      The one who loveth truly
+        I swear is I--(or "me"?)
+
+  But what availeth grammar
+    As taught in straitest schools--
+  The hammer of the Crammer
+    Forging Bellona's tools--
+  Or words that humbly stammer
+    Regardless of the rules?
+  And what availeth fretting,
+    Deep sighs, and dwindling waist,
+  And what the sad forgetting
+    Of culinary taste,
+      Since still thou fondly spurnest
+        Five hundred thou. (or "thee."?)
+      And on young STONEY turnest
+        Love's eye--(or _is_ it "me"?)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SAD CONCLUSION.--To be virtuous for virtue's sake, without prospect of
+reward, this is to be good for nothing!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BYE-ELECTION-OLOGY.
+
+_Gladys._ "LISTEN, SIBYL. PAPA HAS WON A GREAT MORAL VICTORY----WHAT DOES A
+MORAL VICTORY MEAN EXACTLY?"
+
+_Sibyl_ (_who has had more experience_). "OH, IT MEANS--WELL, THAT WE ARE
+TO BE THE VICTIMS OF POLITICAL ECONOMY, AND NOT GO TO LONDON, AFTER ALL!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+INDERWICKEDNESS.
+
+"I do not wish to make a joke," Mr. INDERWICK, Q.C., is reported to have
+observed in the course of examining the plaintiff in a divorce case, but,
+in spite of this pathetic announcement, which passed without any comment
+from the Judge, the ruling passion was too strong for him, and he
+continued, "but Artists' models are not always models of virtue, are they?"
+Not new, not by any means new, of course, but he had apologised beforehand,
+and he couldn't help it; as the weak heroine, who yields to strong
+temptation in a French novel or play, usually acknowledges "_C'était plus
+fort que moi_." The inflammable materials being in close contact, there was
+nothing to 'inder-wick from catching fire when in proximity to a spark of
+genius. Yet so powerfully had the eminent Queen's Counsel's prefatial
+apology affected the court and the audience, that his saucy sally--(for
+there is life in the old sally yet, whether in our alley or in this
+Court)--was not followed by the usually reported "laughter." How was it
+received? Doubtless with decorous silence and downcast eyes, expressive of
+sweet memories of dear old jokes made long ago, in happier and brighter
+times, "when all the world was young."
+
+When a good old joke is again brought into Court with or without apology,
+instead of its being received with respectful silence, we should like to
+read that it was greeted with "tears" or "sobs." It would, indeed, not be
+unbecoming on the part of the Judge if, unable to control his emotion, he
+had immediately arisen, and, in broken judicial utterances, had adjourned
+the Court for the day, out of respect to the memory (for old jokes) of the
+Leader or Junior who had apologetically perpetrated one. Should Mr.
+INDERWICK try this again, the new effect, as above suggested, may be
+obtained to the satisfaction of all parties, except, maybe, those to the
+suit, "whom," as one learned brother might say with another, and still
+profounder apology, "such a proceeding would not _suit_ at all."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+LINES ON A LIFE-BELT.
+
+(_After Waller's "On a Girdle._")
+
+     ["According to the evidence of the only two witnesses who sailed with
+     her, no Life-belts were forthcoming, when the Life-belts might have
+     given many of those on board a last chance of life."--_The "Times" on
+     the Inquiry into the Wreck of the "Roumania."_]
+
+_Shipwrecked Passenger loquitur_:--
+
+  That which would give me ease of mind,
+  And hope of life, I cannot find.
+  No monarch but would give his crown
+  For a Life-belt, when ships go down.
+
+  It would relieve extremest fear,
+  That circlet light, that cork-lined sphere;
+  But in dark nooks below above,
+  The careless crew such trifles shove!
+
+  A narrow compass, and yet there
+  Dwells safety, but for want of care.
+  Give me the Belt, which can't be found,
+  And I might live, who must be drowned!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A certain noble Lord was supposed to have somewhat disparaged one of his
+horses on sale by describing him as "a Whistler." JAMES MCNEILL, "of that
+ilk," was of opinion that this description, supposing the animal to have
+been "a genuine Whistler," ought to have increased its value considerably.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Musical Coster Craze.
+
+_Customer._ Have you a copy of COSTA'S _Eli_?
+
+_Shopman._ No, Sir; we have none of CHEVALIER'S songs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SUPERLATIVE!--The appointment of Mr. DUFF, M.P., to be Governor of New
+South Wales is a "positive" good, seeing that they might have appointed "a
+comparative Duffer."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+LOVELY CHEESE! OR, A WELSH RARE-BIT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+AIR--_"Lovely Night." Dissenting Anti-Church Mice sing_:--
+
+  Lovely Cheese! Lovely Cheese!
+    To Church Mice thou art most dear,
+  But _do_ please, but _do_ please
+    Let _us_ also share thy cheer:
+  For though our "freedom" gladsome seems,
+    Too oft it brings poor fare alone;
+  But aided by what haunts our dreams,
+    How many joys Church Mice have known!
+      Lovely Cheese! Lovely Cheese!
+        Long we've yearned to draw more near
+      To the ease, toothsome ease,
+        Of the dwellers in thy sphere!
+
+  Lovely cheese! Lovely cheese!
+    When a mouse thy cover nears,
+  Growling fit his heart to freeze,
+    Some keen-claw'd (Church) cat appears.
+  But now--that knife portends a boon;
+    Monopoly slice by slice 'twill slay.
+  We, too, may get--let it be soon!--
+    Our bit of cheese, some day, some day!
+      Lovely Cheese! Lovely Cheese!
+        When that cover's lifted clear,
+      With what ease, with what ease
+        We poor mice may share Church cheer!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There was a feeling of uncertainty in the House of Commons last Wednesday,
+as to what should be taken to constitute "A Religious Body." Not to go
+harking back to the Rev. SYDNEY SMITH'S definition of "a
+Corporation"--which, without speaking it profanely, cannot be here quoted
+without offending eyes polite,--one may say that "A Religious Body" is a
+contradiction in terms. It is simply "A Soul-less Thing."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What's the name of that German Beer?" asked Mrs. R., "I rather think it is
+Pil-sen-ner. It sounds to me more like medicine."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE MAN FROM BLANKLEYS.
+
+A STORY IN SCENES.
+
+     SCENE XI.--_The Drawing-room._ Mrs. GILWATTLE _is still unable to
+     express her feelings by more than a contemptuous glare._
+
+_Uncle Gabriel._ My--ah--love, you didn't hear me. I was saying I've almost
+prevailed on his Lordship----
+
+_Mrs. Gilwattle_ (_becoming articulate_). His Lordship, indeed! If _that's_
+a Lord, I don't wonder you're such a Radical!
+
+_Uncle Gab._ Why--why--what's _come_ to you, JOANNA? My Lord, I hope you'll
+excuse her--she's a little----
+
+_Mrs. Gil._ Fiddlesticks! You've been made a fool of, GABRIEL! Can't you
+see for yourself that he's neither the manners nor yet the appearance of a
+_real_ nobleman--or anything but what he _is_?
+
+_Uncle Gab._ (_dropping_ Lord S.'s _arm_). Eh? If you're not a Lord, Sir,
+what else _are_ you?
+
+_Lord Strath._ (_wavering between wrath and amusement_). Afraid I can't
+enlighten you--I'm extremely curious to know myself.
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ (_distractedly_). Oh, Aunt, it wasn't my fault, really!
+MONTAGUE _would_ have him! And--and we _sent_ round to say he wouldn't be
+required--we did indeed! Please, _please_ don't tell anybody!
+
+_Mrs. Gil._ (_rigidly_). It is my _duty_ to let everyone here know how
+disgracefully we have been insulted to-night, MARIA, and might have gone
+away in ignorance, but for that innocent child--who has done nothing, that
+_I_ can see, to deserve being shaken like that! _I_'m not going to sit by
+in silence and see a man passed off as a Lord who is nothing more nor less
+than one of the assistants out of BLANKLEY'S shop, hired to come and fill a
+vacant seat! Yes, GABRIEL, if you doubt my word, look at MARIA--and _now_
+ask that young man to dine!
+
+     [_Profound sensation among the company._
+
+_Uncle Gab._ I--ah--withdraw the invitation, of course--it is cancelled,
+Sir, cancelled!
+
+_Feminine Murmur._ I had a feeling, the moment he came in, as if--so
+thankful now I didn't commit myself by so much as--ah, my dear, it all
+comes from a desire to make a show!--&c., &c.
+
+_Uncle Gab._ It's the bare-faced impudence of coming here on false
+pretences, that _I_ can't get over. Come, Mr. SHOPWALKER, COUNTERJUMPER, or
+whatever you really are, what have _you_ got to say for yourself?
+
+_Lord Strath._ Say? Why----
+
+     [_He struggles to control his countenance for a moment, until he is
+     convulsed at last by irrepressible laughter._
+
+_All_ (_except the_ TIDMARSHES). He's laughing--positively _laughing_ at
+Us! The brazenness of it!
+
+_Lord Strath._ (_regaining composure_). I--I'm awfully sorry, but it struck
+me suddenly as so----After all, the joke is only against myself. (_To
+himself._) Must try and get my unfortunate hostess out of this fix--not
+that she deserves it! (_Aloud._) If you will kindly let me explain, I think
+I can----
+
+_Mr. Tid._ (_suddenly_). Oh, hang explaining! It's all out now, and you'd
+better leave it there!
+
+_Lord Strath._ I can't, indeed. I must make you all understand that this
+well-meaning lady with the highly-developed sense of duty has done our host
+and hostess a grave injustice, besides paying me a compliment I don't
+deserve. I'm sorry to say I can't claim to be half as useful a member of
+the community as any of the very obliging and attentive gentlemen in Mr.
+BLANKLEY'S employment. If I'm anything, I'm a--an Egyptologist, in an
+amateur sort of way, you know. A--in fact, I'm writing a book on Ancient
+Egypt.
+
+_The Others._ A _literary_ man! As if _that_ made it any better!
+
+_Lord Strath._ I merely mention it because it led me to write to Mr.
+CARTOUCHE--whom I happened to hear of as a famous collector--and ask to be
+allowed to call and inspect his collection. Mr. CARTOUCHE (who lives, I
+believe, at No. 92, next door) very kindly wrote, giving me leave, and
+inviting me to dine at the same time, and--I know it was unpardonably
+careless of me--but somehow I came here instead, and, Mr. and Mrs. TIDMARSH
+being both too--er--hospitable to undeceive me, I never found my mistake
+out till too late to put it right, without inconveniencing everybody.
+That's really all.
+
+     [_Uneasy reaction in the company._
+
+_Uncle Gab._ (_pompously_). Ha--hum--no doubt that puts a somewhat
+different complexion on the case, but it doesn't explain your conduct in
+calling yourself Lord STRATHFOOZLEUM, or whatever it was.
+
+_Lord Strath._ I think you mean STRATHSPORRAN. I did call myself that,
+because it happens to be my name.
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ (_passionately_). I don't believe it.... I _can't_. If it is,
+why did Miss SEATON call you "Mr. CLAYPOLE"?
+
+_Lord Strath._ I beg your pardon--CLAYMORE. Because, when we last met, I
+was DOUGLAS CLAYMORE, with no prospect whatever, as it seemed then, of
+being anything else.
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ (_faintly_). Then he really is--_Oh_!
+
+     [_She sinks on the couch, crushed._
+
+_Uncle Gab._ Ha, well, my Lord, I'm glad this little misunderstanding is so
+satisfactorily cleared up, and if I may venture to hope for the honour of
+your company,--shall we say Friday wee----(Lord S. _looks at him
+steadily._) Oh, if your Lordship has some better engagement, well and good.
+Makes no difference to _me_ I assure you. JOANNA, our carriage must be here
+by now, say good-bye and have done with it! Good-night, MARIA, I'll see you
+don't expose me to _this_ again!
+
+
+     SCENE XII.--_The guests have all taken leave with extremely frosty
+     farewells_; Mr. TIDMARSH _is downstairs superintending their
+     departure._ GWENNIE _has been pardoned on_ Lord S.'s _intercession,
+     and dismissed, in much bewilderment, to bed._ Mrs. TIDMARSH _and_ Lord
+     STRATHSPORRAN _are alone._
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ (_hysterically_). Oh, Lord STRATHSPORRAN, when I think how
+I----What can I _ever_ say to you?
+
+_Lord Strath._ Only, I hope, that you forgive my stupidity in blundering in
+here as I did, Mrs. TIDMARSH.
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ It _was_ a good deal your fault. If you had only said who you
+really were--if my husband had not been idiot enough to misunderstand--if
+Miss SEATON had been more straightforward, all this would never----!
+
+[Illustration: "Sitting down heavily on a Settee."]
+
+_Lord Strath._ We were all the victims of circumstances, weren't we? But I,
+at least, have no reason to regret it. And, if I may ask one last
+indulgence, will you--a--let me have an opportunity of saying good-bye to
+Miss SEATON?
+
+_Mrs. Tid._ She, she doesn't _deserve_--Oh, I don't know _what_ I'm saying.
+Of _course_, Lord STRATHSPORRAN, anything, _anything_ I can do to----I will
+send her down to you, if you will only wait. She shall not keep you long!
+
+_Lord Strath._ (_alone, to himself_). It's an ill wind, &c. I shall have
+MARJORY all to myself, now! To think that--but for a lucky blunder--I
+should be spelling out scarabs and things on the wrong side of that wall at
+this moment, and never dreaming that MARJORY was so----Ah, she's coming!
+(Miss SEATON _enters, looking pale and disconsolate._) MARJORY, you've no
+idea what you've missed! I _must_ tell you--it's too good to lose. What
+_do_ you think all these good people have been taking me for? You'll never
+guess! They actually believed I was hired from BLANKLEY'S! Give you my word
+they did!... Why don't you _laugh_, MARJORY?
+
+_Miss Seaton_ (_faintly_). I--I _am_ laughing. No, DOUGLAS, I'm not. I
+can't; I haven't the conscience to. Oh, I never meant you to know--but I
+must tell you, whatever comes of it! _I_ believed it too, at first.
+(_Tragically._) I _did_, DOUGLAS!
+
+_Lord Strath._ _Did_ you though, MARJORY? Then, by Jove, I _must_ have
+looked the character!
+
+_Miss Seaton_ (_timidly_). I knew you--you weren't very well off, DOUGLAS,
+and so I fancied you might----Oh, I know it was hateful of me ever to think
+such a thing, but I did. And you can never _really_ forgive me!
+
+_Lord Strath._ Couldn't think of it! Shall I tell you something else,
+MARJORY? I've a strong impression that you will not be an inmate of this
+happy English household _much_ longer.
+
+_Miss Seaton._ I'm _sure_ I shan't, from Mrs. TIDMARSH'S expression just
+now. But I don't care!
+
+_Lord Strath._ Don't be reckless. How do you know there isn't a moral lion
+about? And where will you go next, MARJORY?
+
+_Miss Seaton_ (_with a shrug_). I don't know. I suppose to anybody who
+wants a Governess, and doesn't mind taking her without a reference, if
+there _is_ such a person!
+
+_Lord Strath._ Well, oddly enough, I fancy I know somebody who has been
+trying for a long time to find a young person of just your age and
+appearance, and might be induced to waive a reference on a personal
+interview. (Miss SEATON _looks incredulous._)... MARJORY, don't you
+understand? If I hadn't been such a pauper, I'd have spoken long ago, when
+we were up in Scotland together, only it didn't seem fair then. I--I
+daresay I've no better chance now; but, at least, I've more right to speak
+than I had, and--and--will you have me, MARJORY? (_She turns away._) I--I
+won't worry you, dear, if you really can't care about me in that way;
+but--but if you only _could_, MARJORY, even a little!
+
+_Miss Seaton._ DOUGLAS!...
+
+     _Same Scene--somewhat later._
+
+_Lord Strath._ Not yet, MARJORY--I can't let you go just yet!... Must I,
+really? Before I've said half what I wanted!... Well--in one minute, then.
+And you're coming to my people as soon as you can get out of this, MARJORY;
+and I shall see you every day, till--till we shall never be separated
+any----Confound it!--who's that? [Mr. TIDMARSH _enters suddenly._
+
+_Mr. Tid._ Oh--er--Lord STRATHSPORRAN, sorry to interrupt you, but--hem--my
+wife, who's feeling too unwell to come down again, desires me to say that,
+in her opinion, Miss SEATON has been here quite long enough. [Miss SEATON
+_escapes by the back drawing-room._
+
+_Lord Strath._ I entirely agree with Mrs. TIDMARSH; but I am happy to say
+that Miss SEATON will not remain here very much longer, as she has just
+done me the honour of consenting to be my wife. Good night, Sir, and many
+thanks for a most er--eventful evening.
+
+     [_He goes out._
+
+_Mr. Tid._ (_making an effort to escort him downstairs, but giving it up,
+and sitting down heavily on a settee instead_). She'll be Lady
+STRATHSPORRAN! And I shall have to break it to MARIA--after she's just gone
+in and stuck a month's salary and immediate notice on her pincushion! Oh,
+lor--as if my poor wife hadn't trouble enough to bear as it was!
+
+THE END.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HARE-ING HIS DIPLOMACY.
+
+As I have already conveyed, in a short note last week, the first night of
+the revival of _Diplomacy_, viz., Saturday, Feb. 18th, will be for ever
+memorable in the annals of the English stage in general, and in the
+reminiscences of Mr. JOHN HARE in particular, whenever he may choose to
+give them to the public. It will also afford matter for a brilliant chapter
+in the second or third series of Mr. and Mrs. BANCROFT'S _On and Off the
+Stage_. A great night, too, for the eminent adapters Messrs. SCOTT and
+STEPHENSON, once known as "the Brothers ROWE," who rowed in the same boat.
+
+Never, at any time, has this version of the French play been so well cast
+as it is now at Garrick Theatre, though nervousness told on all the actors,
+especially on the elder ones, except, apparently, Mrs. BANCROFT, in whose
+performance there was hardly any trace of it, though once she nearly missed
+her cue while resting awhile at the back of the stage.
+
+The part of _Lady Henry Fairfax_ has literally nothing whatever to do with
+the plot, and were it not played as it is now, and played so capitally by
+Mrs. BANCROFT, it would be better, for an English audience at least, if
+omitted entirely, or reduced to a few appropriate lines in pleasant places.
+An English audience wants the story, when once begun, to go on without any
+break or interruption; and indeed, but for dramatic effect, an English
+audience is inclined to resent even the division of a piece into Acts,
+unless such arrangement is evidently necessitated by some heavy mechanical
+change of scenery.
+
+So our audiences would decidedly prefer to have the _rôles_ of _Lady Henry_
+and _The Marquise de Rio Zarès_ (with her wearisome iteration about "Don
+ALVA," and played with rather too much accentuation by Lady MONCKTON)
+reduced to the smallest possible algebraic expression. Mr. BANCROFT was the
+same _Count Orloff_ as he was years ago on the little stage of the old
+Prince of Wales's Theatre; his action more deliberate than when he was
+younger and more impetuous; his pauses for meditation longer by a thought
+or so than of yore; while in his tone and manner there was just a
+delicately-deepened colouring of the genuine original Bancroftian "Old
+Master." To Mr. BANCROFT, resuscitating our old courtly friend _Count
+Orloff_ (now _Count Orl-on-again_), I would address the once well-known
+line from "_Woodman, spare that Tree_"--
+
+"Touch not a single _bow_!"
+
+[Illustration: "Three Men in a boat."]
+
+ARTHUR CECIL, too, as _Baron Stein_, excellent, _cela va sans dire_; yet,
+somehow, his effects now seem to me to be laid on with too broad a brush,
+especially in the scene of his last appearance, where he makes a sly, and,
+for the _Baron Stein_, a rather over-elaborated and farcical attempt to
+recapture the letter he has just given up. FORBES ROBERTSON is good from
+first to last as the very weak-knee'd _Julian Beauelere_, sufficiently
+emotional in the strong situations, and never better than when the
+character itself is at its weakest; that is, in the one great scene with
+his wife.
+
+The _Algie Fairfax_, of Mr. GILBERT HARE, was natural where the authors
+have allowed him to be natural, and best, therefore, in the last Act, where
+he has become a responsible personage in a diplomatic office. The
+"three-men-in-a-difficulty" scene went as well as ever, though, on the
+whole, played far too slowly, and with so much "suppressed force," that the
+celebrated "_Monsieur! à vos ordres!_" when _Orloff_ suddenly breaks out
+into "the language of diplomacy," did not electrify the house. On the
+contrary, the audience took it very quietly, awaiting with some curiosity
+the interference of _Henry Beauclerc_. And it was at this point that the
+services of Mr. JOHN HARE in this character were invaluable. Never had his
+crisp incisive style produced more marked effect. It is a pity that in the
+Third Act, which being the weak point of the play requires all the strength
+of the actor to be seriously employed, Mr. HARE should have given a very
+light comedy, nay, even a farcical touch to his treatment of the "business"
+of sniffing the perfume--when he is literally "on the scent"--and to the
+momentous situation of his interview with _Zicka_. "_Maintenant à nos
+deux!_" Odd that, in his treatment of the strength of the scent, SARDOU
+should have shown the feebleness of his methods. Yet so it is. The play, at
+this point, being practically played out, he carelessly chucks the puppets
+into a corner. He has made his great scenes, and there's an end of it; let
+the weakest go to the wall.
+
+[Illustration: DUET--_Baron Cecil Stein and Lady Henry Bancroft Fairfax_
+(_with original model of Strasbourg Clock_)--"Here we are again!"]
+
+[Illustration: SCENT ZICKA--from a (guilt)-stained-glass Russian window.]
+
+Last of all to be mentioned with unstinted praise is Miss KATE RORKE. It is
+as well to remember throughout that we are witnessing a play of
+semi-French, not purely domestic English life, and the essence of the play
+could not be adapted to ordinary English notions. _Julian Beauclerc_, for
+example, in England, would never have challenged _Count Orloff_; he might
+have had "a deuce of a row with him"; _et voilà tout_. _Dora_, as a young
+Irish girl, and not, as she is here, a half-breed, would never have
+threatened to suicide herself out of the window, though all else she, as a
+not particularly well-educated, but certainly very impulsive girl, might
+probably have done. Her great scene, where she bangs her fists against the
+looked doors, shrieking to her husband to return--an effect to be led up to
+and made within the space of a minute--was, if I may be allowed to say so,
+without being suspected of exaggeration, "just perfect." That some
+considerable time will elapse before the enthusiasm aroused by this revival
+dies out among the patrons and lovers of the Drama-at-its-best is the
+private opinion, publicly expressed, of Yours, truly, "THE ONE MAN SEEN" IN
+A BOX.
+
+P.S.--When _Diplomacy_ shall have accomplished its Hundred Nights, Mr. HARE
+can announce its Scentenary.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A LAST STRAW.
+
+(_By One who has to Make Bricks with It._)
+
+     ["... It is rumoured that a measure will shortly be introduced for
+     transferring the duties of Revising Barristers to Magistrates."]
+
+  Go, tell the budding blooms they'll ne'er have dew more,
+    Go, doom the summer trees to languish leafless--
+  A like effect this ultra-fiendish rumour
+    Works in the drooping bosoms of the Briefless.
+
+  No more Reviserships! No paltry pittance
+    For Themis' harvesters, too often sheafless!
+  Is this the Constitution, once Great Britain's;
+    _This_, your provision for the meekly Briefless?
+
+  As well proclaim to such as slave at Sessions,
+    A world unburglarised and wholly thiefless,
+  As rob the least rewarded of professions
+    Of its ancestral comfort for the Briefless.
+
+  What's to become of us?--I speak for many,
+    Idle and "Unemployed," but oh! not griefless;
+  Please, please kind Government to spare a penny,
+    Or yet Trafalgar Square shall rouse the Briefless.
+
+  Yes! Don't imagine, uncomplaining creatures
+    Are quite disorganised and limp, and chiefless;
+  Our jaw is one of our most drastic features,
+    And Art is long, though Life perforce be Briefless.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A REGULAR KNOUT AND KNOUTER!!!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"'BEN' TROVATO."--Odd that the French author of such truly Parisian stories
+as _Coeur d'Actrice_, _L'Amour pour Rire_, _Flirtage_, and others _du même
+genre_, should be named "TILLET." There is a "du" before the French
+author's name, and it is of course proverbial that even a certain person in
+the Lower House shall have his "due." 'Tis just this, that, as far as name
+goes, differentiates him from t'other TILLET, "which his Christian name is
+BEN."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Further Fall in Irish Stocks.
+
+(_Vide Daily Papers, Feb. 24, 1893._)
+
+  Though mongers of panic, with malice satanic,
+    The credit of Ireland be troublin',
+  Home Rule cannot shake her, nor severance break her,
+    So long as her _capital's D(o)ublin_.'
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WEATHER FORECAST BY MRS. R.--"After this cold snowy weather," she observed,
+oracularly, "we may expect what they call 'equally obnoxious gales.'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HISTORY CONTRADICTS ITSELF.
+
+THE MISSES ROUNDABOUT THINK TIGHT SKIRTS A PREPOSTEROUS AND EXTRAVAGANT
+INVENTION, AND APPEAR AT MRS. WEASEL'S PARTY IN A SIMPLE AND ELEGANT
+ATTIRE. [_Vide "Punch" for Nov. 21, 1857._]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PUTTING IT PLEASANTLY.
+
+     [Mr. FOWLER announced the Government's willingness to appoint "a small
+     Commission" to consider how the City could be amalgamated with the
+     rest of London.]
+
+  "Dilly, Dilly, come and be killed!"
+    Cried good _Mrs. Bond_ to the ducks, in the story.
+  Conceive with what rapture the victims were thrilled,
+  And then picture the joy of our Turtle friends, filled
+        With sweet premonitions of glory!
+
+  No little testudinate triflers are these,
+    Unmindful of doom unforbodingly playing.
+  The cook's charming manners are likely to please,
+  But the flash of that knife Snapping Turtles might freeze,
+        'Tis so strangely suggestive of--slaying.
+
+  The civic Brer Terrapin certainly seems
+    Extremely content with its time-honoured station.
+  Our "young men" may dream highly optimist dreams,
+  But Turtledom feareth what Turtledom deems
+        The perils of--Unification!
+
+  "No compulsion, of course, only, darlings, you must!"
+    That's their reading _au fond_ of the C. C. Cook's attitude.
+  "'Amalgamate' Us? Doosed cool, most unjust!
+  Your offer inspires us with dismal distrust,
+        Your 'Commission' won't move us to gratitude.
+
+  "We love the traditions of Old London Town,
+    We Turtles. Pray leave us alone, and don't bother!
+  Amalgamate? Nay, on the notion we frown!
+  Like the lion and lamb we'll together lie down----
+        When the one is safe inside the other!"
+
+  Alack and alas! But the new _Mrs. Bond_
+    Means mischief, we fear, with her kind "Dilly, Dilly!"
+  And well may the Turtles droop fins and despond.
+  When the snug isolation of which they're so fond,
+        They must part with at last, willy-nilly!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WAGES.
+
+(_A long way after Lord Tennyson._)
+
+     ["Lord WOLMER ... pointed out that Mr. GLADSTONE'S majority of forty
+     would be wiped out if the 'paid mercenaries' of the Irish-American
+     factions were withdrawn, or were even unable to keep up a steady
+     attendance in the House of Commons."--_The Times._
+
+     "The proposed Bill to Provide for the Payment of Members of Parliament
+     ... is a bold attempt to transfer to the tax-payers of Great Britain
+     the burden of supporting at Westminster the Irish Nationalist
+     Members."--_Ibid._]
+
+  Glory of Irishman, glory of orator, going it strong,
+    Paid by his countrymen's mites from across the Atlantic Sea--
+  Glory of PAT, to spout, to struggle, right Ireland's old wrong!
+    Nay, but they aim not at glory, or Home Rule (swears WOLMER, swears
+            he):
+  Give 'em the glory of living on _us_ and our L. S. D.!
+
+  The wages of swells are high; if high wage to a Minister's just.
+    Shall we have the heart low wages to hard-worked M.P.'s to deny?
+  _Mercenaries?_ What then are those toffs in high places of trust,
+    Who live on our golden largess? Will WOLMER inform us just why
+  We _may_ give wages to Wealth, and _not_ unto Poverty?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Down Among the Dead Men."
+
+_Ebriosus loquitur_:--
+
+  Silly spook-hunters show a wish to learn
+  If (_hic!_) departed spiritsh e'er return!
+  _Did_ they, I should not have so dry a throttle,
+  Nor would it cost so mush to--passh the bottle!
+  Thersh no returning (_hic!_) of Spiritsh fled,
+  And (_hic!_) "dead men"--_worsh luck!_--continue dead!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WANTED BADLY.--A "close time" for Autograph-hunting. Alas! the great--and
+even the not-so-very-great--are "made game of" all the year round.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: PUTTING IT PLEASANTLY!
+
+COUNTY COUNCIL COOK. "DILLY, DILLY, DILLY! COME AND BE--_AMALGAMATED_!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A TRUSTY KNIGHT.
+
+_Tommy_ (_who has undertaken to escort his fair Cousin to see the Hounds
+draw Covert_), "AND YOU KNOW YOU NEEDN'T MIND ALL THESE MEN. IT'S ALL
+RIGHT, AS YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER FELLOW WITH YOU."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH'S CHILD'S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE.
+
+_Question._ What is a holiday?
+
+_Answer._ The hard work of that wearisome pursuit known as "pleasure."
+
+_Q._ To whom are holidays profitable?
+
+_A._ To the butchers, the pastry-cooks, and last, but certainly not least,
+the doctors.
+
+_Q._ What are the ends of holidays?
+
+_A._ Pills and Bills.
+
+_Q._ What are pills?
+
+_A._ The means by which fortunes are made, and in another sense Clubs kept
+select.
+
+_Q._ And Bills?
+
+_A._ Necessary evils laid on the table in the House of Commons, and thrown
+into the waste-paper basket in the domestic circle.
+
+_Q._ What is Parliament?
+
+_A._ An assembly of men in which hats are worn when the Members don't want
+to talk, and removed when they wish to show what amount of brains they may
+possess.
+
+_Q._ What is a hat?
+
+_A._ Generally a nuisance.
+
+_Q._ What is cover?
+
+_A._ The profit made by an Outside Broker out of his too confiding
+customers.
+
+_Q._ What is the difference between an Outside Broker and an Inside Broker?
+
+_A._ One is associated with the Stock Exchange, and the other is usually
+made comfortable with a pot of beer and a penny paper in the kitchen.
+
+_Q._ What is a kitchen?
+
+_A._ The source from which happiness or misery flows under the
+superintendence of a cook.
+
+_Q._ Describe a cook.
+
+_A._ As a food-preparer he, or she, is often an executioner.
+
+_Q._ What is a century?
+
+_A._ When obtained by a cricketer, an honour; when achieved by an
+individual, a distinction that must be shortly followed by extinction.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.--JOHN OLIVER HOBBES'S last contribution to FISHER
+UNWIN'S charming Pseudonym Library is well named _A Study in Temptations_.
+It is not in itself an attractive title, but it accurately indicates the
+style of the book. It is a study for a novel rather than an accomplished
+work. One expects, my Baronite says, that in some leisure time the author
+will come back and finish it. It is well worth the labour, being full of
+living characters. _Lady Warbeck_ in particular, is excellent, reminiscent
+of, and worthy of THACKERAY. The temptingly arranged pages glitter with
+shrewd thoughts admirably phrased. BARON DE B.-W.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+NO DOUBT AS TO THE ANSWER.--In the list of "Noblemen and Gentlemen"
+(invidious distinction, by the way) attending the _Levée_ at St. James's
+Palace, whose name would be always found?--Why that of "JAMES O. FORBES,
+_of Corse_."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+NEW (NORWEGIAN) NONSENSE VERSE.
+
+(_After seeing Ibsen's Dramas._)
+
+  There was a young female in Norway,
+  Who fancied herself in a poor way,
+        Because she felt that
+        Her sweet sex was squeezed flat,
+  As though caught in cold Destiny's doorway.
+
+  This rebellious young woman of Norway
+  Cried, "Man, in his coarse, brutal boor-way,
+        Would wipe his big feet
+        On my sex soft and sweet;
+  But _I_'ll be no mere mat in Man's doorway!"
+
+  And so this young woman of Norway
+  Got IBSEN to write, in cock-sure way,
+        Concerning her woes,
+        And tip-tilted her nose,
+  Crying, "_Now_ womankind will have more way!"
+
+  But alas! this young woman of Norway
+  _Still_ feels that her soul's in a poor way,
+        Because, in a play,
+        She won't charm (so they say)
+  Or draw crowds through the theatre's doorway.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+LATEST À PROPOS OF THE COVENT GARDEN FANCY DRESS BALLS.--"Of course,"
+observed Mrs. R., "as ladies do not want to be recognised, they simply go
+in dummy noses."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+LEGAL QUERY.--When a leading Barrister gets someone to "devil" for him, may
+the latter's occupation be correctly described as "devilry"?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "IL Y EN A TOUJOURS UN QUI AIME--ET L'AUTRE QUI TEND LA
+JOUE."
+
+_He._ "AH! YOU'D THINK A PRECIOUS LOT MORE OF ME, MATILDA, IF I WAS ONLY
+SIX FEET HIGH!"
+
+_She._ "YES, DEAREST! BUT THEN YOU WOULDN'T THINK SUCH A PRECIOUS LOT OF
+_ME_!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AN ORLEANS PLUM.--Prince HENRI D'ORLÉANS (says the _Times_) has just been
+rebuking the British people for the Chauvinism of their Oriental policy.
+Like the late M. MASSIE, whose shade he invokes, the young Prince seems to
+object to us, not because we commit any specific acts of hostility, but
+"because we look on in a most aggravating fashion." This is truly funny!
+One country may steal a--Tonkin, but another may not look over a boundary!
+Prince HENRY presents a peculiarly close parallel to KEENE'S infuriated
+(and incoherent) Paterfamilias, who angrily commanded his silent son "not
+to look at him in _that_ tone of voice!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+OPERA AND DISESTABLISHMENT.--_La Damnation de Faust_ was produced most
+successfully at the Theatre at Monte Carlo. According to some stern
+moralists, who regard the Principality as a gambling-hell upon earth, this
+particular Opera was in a quite congenial atmosphere. Odd that in the two
+Principalities, Monte Carlo and Wales, the objects for Disestablishment
+should be so diametrically opposite. In Wales it is the particular Church,
+and at Monte Carlo it is the not-at-all-particular t'other word,
+unmentionable twice in the same paragraph to ears polite.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+NEW READING.--(_By a Musical Lady Latinist._)--"Amor et melle et KELLIE est
+fecundissimus."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
+
+EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
+
+_House of Commons, Monday, February 20._--New Chairman to-day; dropped in
+in most casual way. Wondered to see MELLOR wandering about Library and
+corridors at three o'clock in afternoon in full evening dress. "Going out
+to tea?" I asked, in my genial way.
+
+"Order! order!" said MELLOR; "the Hon. Member will please give notice of
+that question." And he stalked off, trying to convey to the mind of his
+astonished interlocutor as near an approach to back view of COURTNEY as
+could be attained, without loan of late Chairman's famous summer
+pantaloons.
+
+Everything explained later. Soon as questions over, Mr. G., rising and
+fixing glittering eye on SPEAKER, observed, "I beg to move that you, Sir,
+do now leave the Chair." Strangers in Gallery pricked up their ears;
+thought SPEAKER been doing something, and was now in for it. Right Hon.
+Gentleman offered no defence, but meekly left Chair. Mr. G. up again like a
+shot. "I beg to move that Mr. MELLOR do take the Chair," he said. Then
+MELLOR (fortuitously on spot in evening dress) stepped into Chair, where
+through six Sessions, COURTNEY has sat ruling the whirlwind out of order,
+and riding on the storm. All done in moment. Before you knew where you
+were, there was new Chairman of Committees proposing vote of £2,000 for
+rearrangement of rooms in Houses of Parliament. ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS rose, with
+evident intent of wanting to know "about these rooms," when irrepressible
+Mr. G. on his feet again. "I beg to move," he said, addressing Chairman,
+"that you do report progress, and ask leave to sit again."
+
+Rather hard this on MELLOR. Just got into Chair; beginning to feel
+comfortable. Had proposed subject that might have agreeably occupied
+Committee for half an hour, when here comes the untameable, irresistible,
+peremptory Mr. G., and bundles him off. At first some signs of inclination
+to resist. New Chairman, having put question and declared it carried,
+should forthwith have stepped away from the table. MELLOR dropped into
+Chair again.
+
+A moment of embarrassment. COURTNEY, looking critically on form below
+Gangway, grimly smiled. Members under Gallery tittered. Clerk nudged new
+Chairman in ribs. MELLOR sat on till, lifting his eyes, discovered Mr. G.
+meaningly regarding him. Knew he'd be up again if he didn't go; so with
+promising alacrity, hopped out of Chair, and disappeared from ken of House.
+
+"Well, I don't know," said honest BILL CREMER. "Of course I don't hold with
+COURTNEY'S goings-on in the political field, and he can scarcely have
+expected us to keep him on in a snug berth. But this I will say, the
+manners of the new Chairman may, so to speak, be more MELLOR, but, as
+Chairman of Committees, COURTNEY'll be hard to beat."
+
+_Business done._--"Ban, ban, Caliban, got a new Premier, get a new man"--in
+Chairman of Committees.
+
+_Tuesday._--"The life of Her Majesty's Ministers," said the GRAND YOUNG
+GARDNER, moodily contemplating his spats, "is not an entirely happy one. I
+think I may add that is peculiarly the case with the MINISTER for
+AGRICULTURE. I must say, if the language, be not regarded as too
+flowery----"
+
+"The MINISTER for AGRICULTURE," I said, desiring to put GARDNER at his
+ease, "would be fully justified in using cauliflowery language."
+
+"Thank you. Then I'll say I go to bed with tuberculosis, and get up with
+HARRY CHAPLIN. The casual observer is, doubtless, aware that CHAPLIN has an
+eye. He sees it gleaming through the eyeglass. I feel it ever upon me. It
+is no slight thing to have succeeded a statesman of the calibre of CHAPLIN.
+But when he persistently sits opposite you, critically observing all your
+movements with that air of supreme intelligence which more than hints that,
+as MINISTER for AGRICULTURE, he was personally acquainted with every one of
+the cattle on a thousand hills, it is an ordeal that calls into play all
+the higher faculties of Man. As to the tuberculosis, it is always breaking
+out in unexpected places; people concerned insist upon regarding me as
+personally responsible for the visitation."
+
+[Illustration: THE POLITICAL FANCY DRESS BALL AT COVENT GARDEN.]
+
+"But," I said, "you have your little holiday, Saturday to Monday, and get
+out to dinner on off-nights?"
+
+"No," he sighed, "the MINISTER for AGRICULTURE has no off-nights; and if I
+go to church at the seaside on a Sunday, the Church-warden in passing round
+the collection-plate, is sure to steal into my hand a telegram, announcing
+a fresh outbreak of tuberculosis. As to going out to dinner----"
+
+[Illustration: Harry'd H-rry Ch-pl-n, as he appeared when meditating on
+Bimetallistic and Agricultural Distress.]
+
+"Ministers," CAUSTON here observed, "never dine out when the House is
+sitting, unless commanded by the QUEEN, and Whips can't be spared even to
+dine with HER MAJESTY."
+
+"As to going out to dinner," continued the GRAND YOUNG GARDNER, ignoring
+the interruption of his genial colleague, "it is impossible. It was said, I
+believe by one of themselves, 'The Guard dies, but never surrenders.' I may
+add, the MINISTER for AGRICULTURE lunches but never dines. What would
+become of the Government if a division-bell rang and he was found out of
+the way? Now to-night, you would say, looking at the business, I might well
+be spared. We commence with KIMBER on disparities in the representation of
+constituencies. ROLLIT will follow in the interests of undersized
+flat-fish. What has the MINISTER for AGRICULTURE to do with flat-fish of
+whatever size? you might ask. To the casual observer, nothing. But, looking
+ahead, as the responsibilities of my position make it necessary I should
+habitually do, I recall the fact that sometimes the placid pilchard is cast
+upon our shores in such quantities as to be carted away for manurial
+purposes. I am not intimately acquainted with the pilchard. It is not like
+the terrapin a land fish. I am not sure it is flat. Still I have a strong
+impression it is undersized. Therefore it might come within the purview of
+the discussion on ROLLIT'S motion. MUNDELLA, as you say, is in charge of
+the debate, and I might comfortably go to dinner. But what does MUNDELLA
+know of manure? No; the MINISTER for AGRICULTURE remains, and will
+dine,--if necessary die, at his post."
+
+_Business done._--8:10 P.M., House Counted Out, whilst GRAND YOUNG GARDNER
+is explaining how it was he couldn't go out to dinner.
+
+[Illustration: "THE WESTMINSTER PLAY."
+
+_Young Grandolphus_ (_in costume, with appropriate action_). "Hæc recinunt
+Juvenes dictata senesque!"]
+
+_Friday_, 12:30 A.M.--Storm subsided. Magnificent whilst it lasted.
+GRANDOLPH in fine form. Mr. G., under his influence, renewed his youth like
+the eagle. At same time, though Welsh Church may be doomed, supply of cabs
+on night like this inadequate. Better be put in yard in good time. KENYON
+lingers on scene, still asking for Bill to be "taken _de die in diem_." "As
+if he were giving a prescription," said WILFRID LAWSON, back from Mansion
+House, where he has seen his portrait presented to Lady LAWSON. KENYON,
+with eye on Bishop of ST. ASAPH, up in Peers' Gallery, made desperate
+resistance to attack on Church. Bishop looked a little grave when KENYON
+dropped into metaphor.
+
+[Illustration: A FEATURE OF THE DEBATE.
+
+_M-nd-lla._ À cause de mon nom suis-je "alien"?
+
+_J. L-wth-r_ (_heard but not seen_). Non, Monsieur! Mais vous _n'osez_ pas
+dire le contraire.]
+
+"Bill like bagged fox, don't you know," said KENYON, nodding confidentially
+to SPEAKER. "Meant to run any way you like. What I mean to say is--" and
+here he turned for approval to Lord Bishop, consorting in Gallery with his
+fighting Dean, "this fox is so tainted with insincerity, or aniseed, that
+the hounds may just as well shut up their noses, and have nothing to do
+with it."
+
+With this sage remark, and, something horribly like a wink at the Bishop,
+KENYON sat down. Up again later, when Closure moved. HICKS-BEACH, in
+temporary command of Opposition, deprecated resistance. But KENYON'S blood
+up. With strong effort of self-restraint he stopped himself midway in
+stentorian shout, "Yoicks!" dexterously turned the "Yo" into "No," and so
+saved himself from reproof of SPEAKER. Having got the "No!" he made most of
+it. Nothing left but to clear House for Division. Members near entreated
+KENYON to desist from further opposition. No use fighting Closure; only
+meant another Division and twenty minutes' prolongation of sitting. KENYON,
+with eye reverently fixed on Bishop, immovable. Others might falter on the
+way; might palter with the truth; might parlay with the enemy. KENYON would
+have no compromise, no surrender. "Yoic----" he meant "No! no!" and he
+shouted it too.
+
+"Will the Hon. Member name another teller?" said the wary SPEAKER, when
+House cleared for Division. KENYON, evidently still seeing the fox steal
+away, Aniseed at the Helm and Insincerity at the Prow, almost stumbled on
+the name "YOICKS!" Again stopped himself just in time, and looked forlornly
+round; eye finally resting on Peers' Gallery. If only the Bishop could
+"tell" with him! That evidently out of order. Bishop belonged, to other
+House. No one volunteering to stand with him in the breach, and two tellers
+being a necessary preliminary to Division, KENYON bent his head in silent
+grief, and leave given to bring in Bill which ASQUITH remorselessly
+admitted was first step towards Disestablishment of Welsh Church.
+
+_Business done._--Welsh Church Suspensory Bill read First Time, by majority
+of 56, in excited House of 546 Members.
+
+_Friday Night._--After the storm, the customary calm. Spent night in
+discussing tempting themes of Local Taxation in London, and Superannuation
+of School-teachers. On latter subject that _preux Chevalier_, TEMPLE,
+laying down the lute, and leaving Amaryllis in the shade, delivered
+luminous speech; convinced CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER; made him promise to
+fork out.
+
+_Business done._--Much of useful kind.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"SUPPOSITIOUS."--"Well," observed our old friend, who was discussing a
+recent case that had been headed "Romance in the Court of Chancery," "this
+all comes from bringing up a child that they pretended was their own. I
+mean what they call 'A Superstitious Child.'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+QUITE ANOTHER THING.--With reference to a recent burglary at Sir THOMAS
+PIGOT'S, it is stated that "thieves were known to be in the neighbourhood,
+and the police have the matter in hand." Wouldn't it be better if they had
+the thieves there?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed
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