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diff --git a/2195-0.txt b/2195-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..202e9dd --- /dev/null +++ b/2195-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4091 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Master of Mrs. Chilvers, by Jerome K. +Jerome + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: The Master of Mrs. Chilvers + An Improbable Comedy + + +Author: Jerome K. Jerome + + + +Release Date: September 26, 2014 [eBook #2195] +[This file was first posted on 24 September 1999] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MASTER OF MRS. CHILVERS*** + + +Transcribed from the 1911 T. Fisher Unwin edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org + + [Picture: Book cover] + + + + + + _THE MASTER of_ + _MRS. CHILVERS_ + + + _AN IMPROBABLE COMEDY_ + + IMAGINED BY + + _JEROME K. JERMONE_ + + * * * * * + + _LONDON: T. FISHER UNWIN_ + _ADELPHI TERRACE_ + + * * * * * + + COPYRIGHT 1911 BY JEROME K. JEROME + IN THE U.S.A. + + * * * * * + + (_All rights reserved_.) + + * * * * * + + THE FIRST ACT + SCENE: Drawing-room, 91, Russell Square. + TIME: 3 p.m. + + THE SECOND ACT + SCENE: Liberal Committee Room, East India Dock Road. + TIME: 5 p.m. + + THE THIRD ACT + SCENE: The Town Hall, East Poplar. + TIME: 10 p.m. + + THE FOURTH ACT + SCENE: Russell Square + TIME: Midnight + + + + +THE CAST OF “THE MASTER OF MRS. CHILVERS” + + + AS IT WAS PRODUCED AT THE ROYALTY THEATRE, LONDON, ON + APRIL 26TH, 1911, UNDER THE MANAGEMENT OF + MESSRS. VEDRENNE & EADIE. + +Lady Mogton MARY RORKE +Annys Chilvers LENA ASHWELL +Phoebe Mogton ETHEL DANE +Janet Blake GILLIAN SCAIFE +Mrs. Mountcalm Villiers SARAH BROOKE +Elizabeth Spender AURIOL LEE +Rose Merton ESME BERINGER +Mrs. Chinn SYDNEY FAIRBROTHER +Geoffrey Chilvers, M.P. DENNIS EADIE +Dorian St. Herbert LEON QUARTERMAINE +Ben Lamb, M.P. A. E. BENEDICT +William Gordon EDMUND GWENN +Sigsby MICHAEL SHERBROOKE +Hake H. B. TABBERER +Mr. Peekin GERALD MIRRIELEES +Mr. Hopper STANLEY LOGAN +Mrs. Peekin ROWENA JEROME +Miss Borlasse CATHLEEN NESBITT +Miss Ricketts HETTA BARTLETT + +CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY + +GEOFFREY CHILVERS, M.P. A loving husband, and (would-be) +(_President Men’s League for the affectionate father. Like many +Extension of the Franchise to other good men, he is in sympathy +Women_) with the Woman’s Movement: “not + thinking it is coming in his + time.” +ANNYS CHILVERS (_née Mogton_, A loving wife, and (would-be) +_Hon. Sec. Women’s Parliamentary affection mother. Many thousands +Franchise League_) of years have gone to her making. + A generation ago, she would have + been the ideal woman: the ideal + helpmeet. But new ideas are + stirring in her blood, a new + ideal of womanhood is forcing + itself upon her. +LADY MOGTON (_President She knows she would be of more +W.P.F.L._) use in Parliament than many of + the men who are there; is + naturally annoyed at the Law’s + stupidity in keeping her out. +PHOEBE MOGTON (_Org. Sec. The new girl, thinking more of +W.P.F.L._) politics than of boys. But that + will probably pass. +JANET BLAKE (_Jt. Org. Sec. She dreams of a new heaven and a +W.P.F.L._) new earth when woman has the + vote. +MRS. MOUNTCALM VILLIERS She was getting tired of +(_Vice-President W.P.F.L._) flirting. The Woman’s Movement + has arrived just at the right + moment. +ELIZABETH SPENDER (_Hons. Treas. She sees woman everywhere the +W.P.F.L._) slave of man: now pampered, now + beaten, but ever the slave. She + can see no hope of freedom but + through warfare. +MRS. CHINN A mother. +JAWBONES A bill-poster. Movements that do + not fit in with the essentials of + life on thirty shillings a week + have no message so far as + Jawbones is concerned. +GINGER Whose proper name is Rose Merton, + and who has to reconcile herself + to the fact that so far as her + class is concerned the primæval + laws still run. +DORIAN ST. HERBERT (_Hon. Sec. He is interested in all things, +M.L.E.F.W._) the Woman’s Movement included. +BEN LAMB, M.P. As a student of woman, he admits + to being in the infants’ class. +SIGSBY An Election Agent. He thinks the + modern woman suffers from + over-indulgence. He would + recommend to her the teachings of + St. Paul. +HAKE A butler. He does not see how to + avoid his wife being practically + a domestic servant without wages. +A DEPUTATION It consists of two men and three + women. Superior people would + call them Cranks. But Cranks + have been of some service to the + world, and the use of superior + people is still to be discovered. + + + + +THE FIRST ACT + + +SCENE:—_Drawing-room_, 91, _Russell Square_. + + TIME:—_Afternoon_. + +(MRS. ELIZABETH SPENDER _sits near the fire_, _reading a book_. _She is +a tall_, _thin woman_, _with passionate eyes_, _set in an oval face of +olive complexion_; _the features are regular and severe_; _her massive +dark hair is almost primly arranged_. _She wears a tailor-made costume_, +_surmounted by a plain black hat_. _The door opens and_ PHOEBE _enters_, +_shown in by_ HAKE, _the butler_, _a thin_, _ascetic-looking man of about +thirty_, _with prematurely grey hair_. PHOEBE MOGTON _is of the Fluffy +Ruffles type_, _petite_, _with a retroussé nose_, _remarkably bright +eyes_, _and a quantity of fluffy light hair_, _somewhat untidily +arranged_. _She is fashionably dressed in the fussy_, _flyaway style_. +ELIZABETH _looks up_; _the two young women shake hands_.) + +PHOEBE. Good woman. ’Tisn’t three o’clock yet, is it? + +ELIZABETH. About five minutes to. + +PHOEBE. Annys is on her way. I just caught her in time. (_To_ HAKE.) +Put a table and six chairs. Give mamma a hammer and a cushion at her +back. + +HAKE. A hammer, miss? + +PHOEBE. A chairman’s hammer. Haven’t you got one? + +HAKE. I’m afraid not, miss. Would a gravy spoon do? + +PHOEBE (_To_ ELIZABETH, _after expression of disgust_.) Fancy a house +without a chairman’s hammer! (_To_ HAKE.) See that there’s something. +Did your wife go to the meeting last night? + +HAKE (_He is arranging furniture according to instructions_.) I’m not +quite sure, miss. I gave her the evening out. + +PHOEBE. “Gave her the evening out”! + +ELIZABETH. We are speaking of your wife, man, not your servant. + +HAKE. Yes, miss. You see, we don’t keep servants in our class. +Somebody’s got to put the children to bed. + +ELIZABETH. Why not the man—occasionally? + +HAKE. Well, you see, miss, in my case, I rarely getting home much before +midnight, it would make it so late. Yesterday being my night off, things +fitted in, so to speak. Will there be any writing, miss? + +PHOEBE. Yes. See that there’s plenty of blotting-paper. (_To_ +ELIZABETH.) Mamma always splashes so. + +HAKE. Yes, miss. + + (_He goes out_.) + +ELIZABETH. Did you ever hear anything more delightfully naïve? He +“gave” her the evening out. That’s how they think of us—as their +servants. The gentleman hasn’t the courage to be straightforward about +it. The butler blurts out the truth. Why are we meeting here instead of +at our own place? + +PHOEBE. For secrecy, I expect. Too many gasbags always about the +office. I fancy—I’m not quite sure—that mamma’s got a new idea. + +ELIZABETH. Leading to Holloway? + +PHOEBE. Well, most roads lead there. + +ELIZABETH. And end there—so far as I can see. + +PHOEBE. You’re too impatient. + +ELIZABETH. It’s what our friends have been telling us—for the last fifty +years. + +PHOEBE. Look here, if it was only the usual sort of thing mamma wouldn’t +want it kept secret. I’m inclined to think it’s a new departure +altogether. + + (_The door opens_. _There enters_ JANET BLAKE, _followed by_ HAKE, + _who proceeds with his work_. JANET BLAKE _is a slight_, + _fragile-looking creature_, _her great dark eyes—the eyes of a + fanatic—emphasise the pallor of her childish face_. _She is shabbily + dressed_; _a plain_, _uninteresting girl until she smiles_, _and then + her face becomes quite beautiful_. PHOEBE _darts to meet her_.) Good + girl. Was afraid—I say, you’re wet through. + +JANET. It was only a shower. The ’buses were all full. I had to ride +outside. + +PHOEBE. Silly kid, why didn’t you take a cab? + +JANET. I’ve been reckoning it up. I’ve been half over London chasing +Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. Cabs would have come, at the very least, to +twelve-and-six. + +PHOEBE. Well— + +JANET (_To_ ELIZABETH.) Well—I want you to put me down as a contributor +for twelve-and-six. (_She smiles_.) It’s the only way I can give. + +PHOEBE. (_She is taking off_ JANET’S _cloak_; _throws it to_ HAKE.) +Have this put somewhere to dry. (_She pushes_ JANET _to the fire_.) Get +near the fire. You’re as cold as ice. + +ELIZABETH. All the seats inside, I suppose, occupied by the chivalrous +sex. + +JANET. Oh, there was one young fellow offered to give me up his place, +but I wouldn’t let him. You see, we’re claiming equality. (_Smiles_.) + +ELIZABETH. And are being granted it—in every direction where it works to +the convenience of man. + +PHOEBE. (_Laughs_.) Is she coming—the Villiers woman? + +JANET. Yes. I ran her down at last—at her dress-maker’s. She made an +awful fuss about it, but I wouldn’t leave till she’d promised. Tell me, +it’s something quite important, isn’t it? + +PHOEBE. I don’t know anything, except that I had an urgent telegram from +mamma this morning to call a meeting of the entire Council here at three +o’clock. She’s coming up from Manchester on purpose. (_To_ HAKE.) Mrs. +Chilvers hasn’t returned yet, has she? + +HAKE. Not yet, miss. Shall I telephone— + +PHOEBE. (_Shakes her head_.) No; it’s all right. I have seen her. Let +her know we are here the moment she comes in. + +HAKE. Yes, miss. + + (_He has finished the arrangements_. _The table has been placed in the + centre of the room_, _six chairs round it_, _one of them being a large + armchair_. _He has placed writing materials and a large silver gravy + spoon_. _He is going_.) + +PHOEBE. Why aren’t you sure your wife wasn’t at the meeting last night? +Didn’t she say anything? + +HAKE. Well, miss, unfortunately, just as she was starting, Mrs. +Comerford—that’s the wife of the party that keeps the shop +downstairs—looked in with an order for the theatre. + +PHOEBE. Oh! + +HAKE. So I thought it best to ask no questions. + +PHOEBE. Thank you. + +HAKE. Thank you, miss. + + (_He goes out_.) + +ELIZABETH. Can nothing be done to rouse the working-class woman out of +her apathy? + +PHOEBE. Well, if you ask me, I think a good deal has been done. + +ELIZABETH. Oh, what’s the use of our deceiving ourselves? The great +mass are utterly indifferent. + +JANET (_She is seated in an easy-chair near the fire_.) I was talking to +a woman only yesterday—in Bethnal Green. She keeps a husband and three +children by taking in washing. “Lord, miss,” she laughed, “what would we +do with the vote if we did have it? Only one thing more to give to the +men.” + +PHOEBE. That’s rather good. + +ELIZABETH. The curse of it is that it’s true. Why should they put +themselves out merely that one man instead of another should dictate +their laws to them? + +PHOEBE. My dear girl, precisely the same argument was used against the +Second Reform Bill. What earthly difference could it make to the working +men whether Tory Squire or Liberal capitalist ruled over them? That was +in 1868. To-day, fifty-four Labour Members sit in Parliament. At the +next election they will hold the balance. + +ELIZABETH. Ah, if we could only hold out _that_ sort of hope to them! + + (ANNYS _enters_. _She is in outdoor costume_. _She kisses_ PHOEBE, + _shakes hands with the other two_. ANNYS’S _age is about twenty-five_. + _She is a beautiful_, _spiritual-looking creature_, _tall and + graceful_, _with a manner that is at the same time appealing and + commanding_. _Her voice is soft and caressing_, _but capable of + expressing all the emotions_. _Her likeness to her younger sister_ + PHOEBE _is of the slightest_: _the colouring is the same_, _and the + eyes that can flash_, _but there the similarity ends_. _She is simply + but well dressed_. _Her soft hair makes a quiet but wonderfully + effective frame to her face_.) + +ANNYS. (_She is taking off her outdoor things_.) Hope I’m not late. I +had to look in at Caxton House. Why are we holding it here? + +PHOEBE. Mamma’s instructions. Can’t tell you anything more except that +I gather the matter’s important, and is to be kept secret. + +ANNYS. Mamma isn’t here, is she? + +PHOEBE. (_Shakes her head_.) Reaches St. Pancras at two-forty. (_Looks +at her watch_.) Train’s late, I expect. + + (HAKE _has entered_.) + +ANNYS. (_She hands_ HAKE _her hat and coat_.) Have something ready in +case Lady Mogton hasn’t lunched. Is your master in? + +HAKE. A messenger came for him soon after you left, ma’am. I was to +tell you he would most likely be dining at the House. + +ANNYS. Thank you. + + (HAKE _goes out_.) + +ANNYS. (_To_ ELIZABETH.) I so want you to meet Geoffrey. He’ll alter +your opinion of men. + +ELIZABETH. My opinion of men has been altered once or twice—each time +for the worse. + +ANNYS. Why do you dislike men? + +ELIZABETH. (_With a short laugh_.) Why does the slave dislike the +slave-owner? + +PHOEBE. Oh, come off the perch. You spend five thousand a year provided +for you by a husband that you only see on Sundays. We’d all be slaves at +that price. + +ELIZABETH. The chains have always been stretched for the few. My +sympathies are with my class. + +ANNYS. But men like Geoffrey—men who are devoting their whole time and +energy to furthering our cause; what can you have to say against them? + +ELIZABETH. Simply that they don’t know what they’re doing. The French +Revolution was nursed in the salons of the French nobility. When the +true meaning of the woman’s movement is understood we shall have to get +on without the male sympathiser. + + (_A pause_.) + +ANNYS. What do you understand is the true meaning of the woman’s +movement? + +ELIZABETH. The dragging down of man from his position of supremacy. +What else can it mean? + +ANNYS. Something much better. The lifting up of woman to be his +partner. + +ELIZABETH. My dear Annys, the men who to-day are advocating votes for +women are doing so in the hope of securing obedient supporters for their +own political schemes. In New Zealand the working man brings his female +relations in a van to the poll, and sees to it that they vote in +accordance with his orders. When man once grasps the fact that woman is +not going to be his henchman, but his rival, men and women will face one +another as enemies. + + (_The door opens_. HAKE _announces_ LADY MOGTON _and_ DORIAN ST. + HERBERT. LADY MOGTON _is a large_, _strong-featured woman_, _with a + naturally loud voice_. _She is dressed with studied carelessness_. + DORIAN ST. HERBERT, K.C., _is a tall_, _thin man_, _about thirty_. _He + is elegantly_, _almost dandily dressed_.) + +ANNYS. (_Kissing her mother_.) Have you had lunch? + +LADY MOGTON. In the train. + +PHOEBE. (_Who has also kissed her mother and shaken hands with_ ST. +HERBERT.) We are all here except Villiers. She’s coming. Did you have +a good meeting? + +LADY MOGTON. Fairly. Some young fool had chained himself to a pillar +and thrown the key out of window. + +PHOEBE. What did you do? + +LADY MOGTON. Tied a sack over his head and left him there. + + (_She turns aside for a moment to talk to_ ST. HERBERT, _who has taken + some papers from his despatch-box_.) + +ANNYS. (_To_ ELIZABETH.) We must finish out our talk some other time. +You are quite wrong. + +ELIZABETH. Perhaps. + +LADY MOGTON. We had better begin. I have only got half an hour. + +JANET. I saw Mrs. Villiers. She promised she’d come. + +LADY MOGTON. You should have told her we were going to be photographed. +Then she’d have been punctual. (_She has taken her seat at the table_. +ST. HERBERT _at her right_.) Better put another chair in case she does +turn up. + +JANET. (_Does so_.) Shall I take any notes? + +LADY MOGTON. No. (_To_ ANNYS.) Give instructions that we are not to be +interrupted for anything. + + (ANNYS _rings bell_.) + +ST. HERBERT. (_He turns to_ PHOEBE, _on his right_.) Have you heard the +latest? + + _There was an old man of Hong Kong_, + _Whose language was terribly strong_. + + (_Enter_ HAKE. _He brings a bottle and glass_, _which he places_.) + +ANNYS. Oh, Hake, please, don’t let us be interrupted for anything. If +Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers comes, show her up. But nobody else. + +HAKE. Yes, ma’am. + + (HAKE _goes out_.) + +ST. HERBERT. (_Continuing_.) + + _It wasn’t the words_ + _That frightened the birds_, + _’Twas the ’orrible double-entendre_. + +LADY MOGTON. (_Who has sat waiting in grim silence_.) Have you +finished? + +ST. HERBERT. Quite finished. + +LADY MOGTON. Thank you. (_She raps for silence_.) You will understand, +please, all, that this is a private meeting of the Council. Nothing that +transpires is to be allowed to leak out. (_There is a murmur_.) +Silence, please, for Mr. St. Herbert. + +ST. HERBERT. Before we begin, I should like to remind you, ladies, that +you are, all of you, persons mentally deficient— + + (_The door opens_. MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS _enters_, _announced by_ + HAKE. _She is a showily-dressed_, _flamboyant lady_.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. I _am_ so sorry. I have only just this +minute—(_She catches sight of_ ST. HERBERT.) You naughty creature, why +weren’t you at my meeting last night? The Rajah came with both his +wives. We’ve elected them, all three, honorary members. + +LADY MOGTON. Do you mind sitting down? + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. Here, dear? (_She takes the vacant chair_.) +So nice of you. I read about your meeting. What a clever idea! + +LADY MOGTON. (_Cuts her short_.) Yes. We are here to consider a very +important matter. By way of commencement Mr. St. Herbert has just +reminded us that in the eye of the law all women are imbeciles. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. I know, dear. Isn’t it shocking? + +ST. HERBERT. Deplorable; but of course not your fault. I mention it +because of its importance to the present matter. Under Clause A of the +Act for the Better Regulation, &c., &c., all persons “mentally deficient” +are debarred from becoming members of Parliament. The classification has +been held to include idiots, infants, and women. + + (_An interruption_. LADY MOGTON _hammers_.) + +Bearing this carefully in mind, we proceed. (_He refers to his notes_.) +Two years ago a bye-election took place for the South-west division of +Belfast. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. My dear, may I? It has just occurred to me. +Why do we never go to Ireland? + +LADY MOGTON. For various sufficient reasons. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. So many of the Irish members have expressed +themselves quite sympathetically. + +LADY MOGTON. We wish them to continue to do so. (_Turns to_ ST. +HERBERT.) I’m sorry. + +ST. HERBERT. A leader of the Orange Party was opposed by a Nationalist, +and the proceedings promised to be lively. They promised for a while to +be still livelier, owing to the nomination at the last moment of the +local lunatic. + +PHOEBE. (_To_ ANNYS.) This is where we come in. + +ST. HERBERT. There is always a local lunatic, who, if harmless, is +generally a popular character. James Washington McCaw appears to have +been a particularly cheerful specimen. One of his eccentricities was to +always have a skipping-rope in his pocket; wherever the traffic allowed +it, he would go through the streets skipping. He said it kept him warm. +Another of his tricks was to let off fireworks from the roof of his house +whenever he heard of the death of anybody of importance. The Returning +Officer refused his nomination—which, so far as his nominators were +concerned, was intended only as a joke—on the grounds of his being by +common report a person of unsound mind. And there, so far as South-west +Belfast was concerned, the matter ended. + +PHOEBE. Pity. + +ST. HERBERT. But not so far as the Returning Officer was concerned. +McCaw appears to have been a lunatic possessed of means, imbued with all +an Irishman’s love of litigation. He at once brought an action against +the Returning Officer, his contention being that his mental state was a +private matter, of which the Returning Officer was not the person to +judge. + +PHOEBE. He wasn’t a lunatic all over. + +ST. HERBERT. We none of us are. The case went from court to court. In +every instance the decision was in favour of the Returning Officer. +Until it reached the House of Lords. The decision was given yesterday +afternoon—in favour of the man McCaw. + +ELIZABETH. Then lunatics, at all events, are not debarred from going to +the poll. + +ST. HERBERT. The “mentally deficient” are no longer debarred from going +to the poll. + +ELIZABETH. What grounds were given for the decision? + +ST. HERBERT. (_He refers again to his notes_.) A Returning Officer can +only deal with objections arising out of the nomination paper. He has no +jurisdiction to go behind a nomination paper and constitute himself a +court of inquiry as to the fitness or unfitness of a candidate. + +PHOEBE. Good old House of Lords! + + (LADY MOGTON _hammers_.) + +ELIZABETH. But I thought it was part of the Returning Officer’s duty to +inquire into objections, that a special time was appointed to deal with +them. + +ST. HERBERT. He will still be required to take cognisance of any +informality in the nomination paper or papers. Beyond that, this +decision relieves him of all further responsibility. + +JANET. But this gives us everything. + +ST. HERBERT. It depends upon what you call everything. It gives a woman +the right to go to the poll—a right which, as a matter of fact, she has +always possessed. + +PHOEBE. Then why did the Returning Officer for Camberwell in 1885— + +ST. HERBERT. Because he did not know the law. And Miss Helen Taylor had +not the means possessed by our friend McCaw to teach it to him. + +ANNYS. (_Rises_. _She goes to the centre of the room_.) + +LADY MOGTON. Where are you going? + +ANNYS. (_She turns_; _there are tears in her eyes_. _The question seems +to recall her to herself_.) Nowhere. I am so sorry. I can’t help it. +It seems to me to mean so much. It gives us the right to go before the +people—to plead to them, not for ourselves, for them. (_Again she seems +to lose consciousness of those at the table_, _of the room_.) To the men +we will say: “Will you not trust us? Is it harm we have ever done you? +Have we not suffered for you and with you? Were we not sent into the +world to be your helpmeet? Are not the children ours as well as yours? +Shall we not work together to shape the world where they must dwell? Is +it only the mother-voice that shall not be heard in your councils? Is it +only the mother-hand that shall not help to guide?” To the women we will +say: “Tell them—tell them it is from no love of ourselves that we come +from our sheltered homes into the street. It is to give, not to get—to +mingle with the sterner judgments of men the deeper truths that God, +through pain, has taught to women—to mingle with man’s justice woman’s +pity, till there shall arise the perfect law—not made of man nor woman, +but of both, each bringing what the other lacks.” And they will listen +to us. Till now it has seemed to them that we were clamouring only for +selfish ends. They have not understood. We shall speak to them of +common purposes, use the language of fellow-citizens. They will see that +we are worthy of the place we claim. They will welcome us as helpers in +a common cause. They— + + (_She turns_—_the present comes back to her_.) + +LADY MOGTON. (_After a pause_.) The business (_she dwells severely on +the word_) before the meeting— + +ANNYS. (_She resents herself meekly_. _Apologising generally_.) I +_must_ learn to control myself. + +LADY MOGTON. (_Who has waited_.) —is McCaw versus Potts. Its bearing +upon the movement for the extension of the franchise to women. My own +view I venture to submit in the form of a resolution. (_She takes up a +paper on which she has been writing_.) As follows: That the Council of +the Woman’s Parliamentary Franchise League, having regard to the decision +of the House of Lords in McCaw v. Potts— + +ST. HERBERT. (_Looking over_.) Two t’s. + +LADY MOGTON. —resolves to bring forward a woman candidate to contest the +next bye-election. (_Suddenly to_ MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS, _who is +chattering_.) Do you agree or disagree? + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. My dear! How can you ask? Of course we all +agree. (_To Elizabeth_.) You agree, don’t you? + +ELIZABETH. Of course, even if elected, she would not be allowed to take +her seat. + +PHOEBE. How do you know? Nothing more full of surprises than English +law. + +LADY MOGTON. At the present stage I regard that point as immaterial. +What I am thinking of is the advertisement. A female candidate upon the +platform will concentrate the whole attention of the country on our +movement. + +ST. HERBERT. It might even be prudent—until you have got the vote—to +keep it dark that you will soon be proceeding to the next inevitable +step. + +ELIZABETH. You think even man could be so easily deceived! + +ST. HERBERT. Man has had so much practice in being deceived. It comes +naturally to him. + +ELIZABETH. Poor devil! + +LADY MOGTON. The only question remaining to be discussed is the +candidate. + +ANNYS. Is there not danger that between now and the next bye-election +the Government may, having regard to this case, bring in a bill to stop +women candidates from going to the poll? + +ST. HERBERT. I have thought of that. Fortunately, the case seems to +have attracted very little attention. If a bye-election occurred soon +there would hardly be time. + +LADY MOGTON. It must be the very next one that does occur—wherever it +is. + +JANET. I am sure that in the East End we should have a chance. + +PHOEBE. Great Scott! Just think. If we were to win it! + +ST. HERBERT. If you could get a straight fight against a Liberal I +believe you would. + +ANNYS. Why is the Government so unpopular? + +ST. HERBERT. Well, take the weather alone—twelve degrees of frost again +last night. + +JANET. In St. George’s Road the sewer has burst. The water is in the +rooms where the children are sleeping. (_She clenches her hands_.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. (_She shakes her head_.) Something ought +really to be done. + +LADY MOGTON. Has anybody any suggestion to make?—as regards the +candidate. There’s no advantage in going outside. It will have to be +one of ourselves. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. Won’t you, dear? + +LADY MOGTON. I shall be better employed organising. My own feeling is +that it ought to be Annys. (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) What do you think? + +ST. HERBERT. Undoubtedly. + +ANNYS. I’d rather not. + +LADY MOGTON. It’s not a question of liking. It’s a question of duty. +For this occasion we shall be appealing to the male voter. Our candidate +must be a woman popular with men. The choice is somewhat limited. + +ELIZABETH. No one will put up so good a fight as you. + +ANNYS. Will you give me till this evening? + +LADY MOGTON. What for? + +ANNYS. I should like to consult Geoffrey. + +LADY MOGTON. You think he would object? + +ANNYS. (_A little doubtfully_.) No. But we have always talked +everything over together. + +LADY MOGTON. Absurd! He’s one of our staunchest supporters. Of course +he’ll be delighted. + +ELIZABETH. I think the thing ought to be settled at once. + +LADY MOGTON. It must be. I have to return to Manchester to-night. We +shall have to get to work immediately. + +ST. HERBERT. Geoffrey will surely take it as a compliment. + +JANET. Don’t you feel that woman, all over the world, is calling to you? + +ANNYS. It isn’t that. I’m not trying to shirk it. I merely thought +that if there had been time—of course, if you really think— + +LADY MOGTON. You consent? + +ANNYS. Yes. If it’s everybody’s wish. + +LADY MOGTON. That’s settled. + +PHOEBE. (_She springs up_, _waving a handkerchief_.) Chilvers for ever! + +JANET. (_Rises_.) God bless you! + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. (_Clapping her hands_.) Now we shan’t be long! + +LADY MOGTON. (_Hammers_.) Order, please! + + (_The three subside_.) + +This is serious business. The next step is, of course— + + (_The door opens_; GEOFFREY _enters_. _He is a youngish-looking man of + three or four and thirty_. LADY MOGTON, _at the sound of the door_, + _turns_. ST. HERBERT _rises_. _There is a pause_.) + +LADY MOGTON. We’ve been talking about you. We must apologise for +turning your drawing-room— + +GEOFFREY. My dear mother-in-law, it is Providence. (_He kisses her_.) +There is no one I was more longing to see. + +ANNYS. (_She has risen_.) Hake told me you would be dining at the +House. + +GEOFFREY. (_He comes to her_, _kisses her_, _he is in a state of +suppressed excitement_.) I shall be. I came back to bring you some +news. + +PHOEBE. We’ve got some news for you. Have you heard— + +GEOFFREY. (_He stays her_.) May I claim man’s privilege for the first +word? It is news, I am sure, you will all be delighted to hear. A +friend of yours has been appointed to an office where—it is quite +possible—he may be of service to you. + +PHOEBE. Governorship of Holloway Gaol? + +GEOFFREY. Not a bad guess. Very near it. To the Under-Secretaryship +for Home Affairs. + +LADY MOGTON. Who is it? + +GEOFFREY. (_He bows_.) Your affectionate and devoted servant. + +ANNYS. You! + +PHOEBE. (_Genuinely delighted_. _She is not a quick thinker_.) Bravo! +Congratulations, old boy! (_She has risen_—_she slaps him on the back_.) + +ANNYS. Geoffrey! (_She puts her arms about him_.) You never told me +anything. + +GEOFFREY. I know, dear. I was afraid. It mightn’t have come off. And +then you would have been so disappointed. + +ANNYS. (_There are tears in her eyes_. _She still clings to him_.) I +am so glad. Oh, I am so glad! + +GEOFFREY. It is all your doing. You have been such a splendid help. +(_He breaks gently away from her_. _Turns to_ ST. HERBERT, _with a +lighter tone_.) Haven’t you anything to say to a fellow? You’re not +usually dumb. + +ST. HERBERT. It has all been so sudden—as the early Victorian heroine +was fond of remarking! + +GEOFFREY. (_Laughs_.) It has been sudden. We had, none of us, any idea +till yesterday that old Bullock was thinking of resigning. + +ELIZABETH. (_She has risen and moved towards the fire_.) Won’t it +necessitate a bye-election? + + (LADY MOGTON _and_ ST. HERBERT _have been thinking it out_. _On the + others the word falls like a bombshell_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_He turns to her_. _He does not see their faces_.) Yes. +But I don’t anticipate a contest. The Conservatives are without a +candidate, and I am on good terms with the Labour Party. Perhaps Mr. +Hunnable—(_He laughs_, _then_, _turning_, _catches sight of his wife’s +face_. _From_ ANNYS _he looks to the others_.) + +LADY MOGTON. (_She has risen_.) You haven’t heard, then, of McCaw +versus Potts? + +GEOFFREY. “McCaw versus Potts!” What the— + +ST. HERBERT. Was decided in the House of Lords late yesterday afternoon. +Briefly stated, it confers upon women the right of becoming Parliamentary +candidates. + +GEOFFREY. (_He is staggered_.) You mean— + +LADY MOGTON. Having regard to which, we have decided to bring forward a +woman candidate to contest the next bye-election. + +GEOFFREY. Um! I see. + +ANNYS. But we never thought—we never anticipated it would be Geoffrey’s. + +LADY MOGTON. I really cannot admit that that alters the case. Geoffrey +himself would never dream, I am sure, of asking us to sacrifice our cause +to his convenience. + +GEOFFREY. No. Of course not. Certainly not. + +LADY MOGTON. It is perhaps unfortunate that the candidate selected— + +ANNYS. It is quite impossible. Such a dilemma was never dreamed of. + +LADY MOGTON. And if not? Is the solidarity of woman— + +GEOFFREY. (_Beginning to guess_.) Forgive my impatience; but whom +_have_ you selected? + +ELIZABETH. (_When she likes she can be quite sweet_.) Your wife. (_He +expected it_.) We rather assumed (_she appeals to the others with a +gesture_), I think, that the president of the Man’s League for the +Extension of the Franchise to Women would regard it as a compliment. + +GEOFFREY. (_His dislike of her is already in existence_.) Yes. Very +thoughtful. + +ANNYS. You must choose some one else. + +PHOEBE. But there _is_ no one else. + +ANNYS. There’s mamma. + +PHOEBE. Mamma’s too heavy. + +ANNYS. Well, then, there’s Elizabeth—there’s you! + +GEOFFREY. Yes. Why not you? You and I could have a jolly little fight. + +LADY MOGTON. This is not a laughing matter. If I could think of any one +to take Annys’s place I should not insist. I cannot. + +PHOEBE. You see, it mustn’t be a crank. + +GEOFFREY. (_He is losing his temper_.) Yes, I suppose that does limit +you. + +ELIZABETH. And then—thanks to you—Mrs. Chilvers has had such excellent +training in politics. It was that, I think, that decided us. + +GEOFFREY. (_Convention forbids his strangling her_.) Will somebody +kindly introduce me to this lady? + +ST. HERBERT. Ah, yes, of course. You don’t know each other, do you? +Mr. Geoffrey Chilvers—Mrs. Joseph Spender. Mrs. Spender—Mr. Chilvers, +M.P. + +ELIZABETH. (_Sweetly_.) Delighted! + +GEOFFREY. (_Not_.) Charmed. + +LADY MOGTON. (_To_ ANNYS.) I am not indifferent to your difficulty. +But the history of woman, my dear Annys, is a history of sacrifice. We +give our sons—if necessary, our husbands. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. (_Affected_.) How true! + +ANNYS. But you are not asking me to give him. You are asking me to +fight him. I can’t. + +LADY MOGTON. You mean you won’t. + +ANNYS. You can put it that way if you like. I won’t. + + (_A pause_.) + +JANET. I thought Mrs. Chilvers had pledged her word. + +ELIZABETH. Yes. But without her husband’s consent. So, of course, it +doesn’t count. + +GEOFFREY. (_He turns on her_.) Why not you—if there must be a fight? +Or would it be against your principles? + +ELIZABETH. Not in the least. + +GEOFFREY. Ah! + +ELIZABETH. I would offer myself as a substitute. Only it might seem +like coming between husband and wife. + +GEOFFREY. (_He turns away with a grunt of disgust_.) + +PHOEBE. It’s awfully rough on you, Geoffrey. I can see it from your +point of view. But one can’t help remembering the things that you +yourself have said. + +GEOFFREY. I know; I know. I’ve been going up and down the country, +excusing even your excesses on the ground that no movement can force its +way to the front without treading on innumerable toes. For me, now, to +cry halt merely because it happens to be my own toes that are in the way +would be—ridiculous—absurd—would be monstrous. (_Nobody contradicts +him_.) You are perfectly justified—if this case means what you say it +does—in putting up a candidate against me for East Poplar. Only, +naturally, it cannot be Annys. (_He reaches out his hand to where_ ANNYS +_stands a little behind him_, _takes her hand_.) Annys and I have fought +more than one election. It has been side by side. + +ELIZABETH. The lady a little behind. + +GEOFFREY. (_He moves away with an expression of deep annoyance_.) + +JANET. (_She comes forward_. _She holds forth her hands with a +half-appealing_, _half-commanding gesture_. _She almost seems +inspired_.) Would it not be so much better if, in this first political +contest between man and woman, the opponents were two people honouring +one another, loving one another? Would it not show to all the world that +man and woman may meet—contend in public life without anger, without +scorn? (_There is a pause_. _They stand listening_.) I do not know, +but it seems to me that if Mr. Chilvers could bring himself to do this it +would be such a big thing—perhaps the most chivalrous thing that a man +has ever done to help women. If he would put aside, quite voluntarily, +all the man’s privilege—just say to the people, “Now choose—one of us two +to serve you. We stand before you, equal, my wife and I.” I don’t know +how to put it, but I feel that by merely doing that one thing Mr. +Chilvers would solve the whole problem. It would prove that good men are +ready to give us of their free accord all that we claim. We should gain +our rights, not by warfare, but through love and understanding. Wouldn’t +that be—so much better? (_She looks—her hands still appealing—from one +to the other_.) + + (_Another silence_. _They have all been carried a little off their + feet by_ JANET’S _earnestness_.) + +ANNYS. (_She touches him_.) What do you think, dear? + +GEOFFREY. Yes, there’s a good deal, of course, in what Miss Blake says. + +ANNYS. It _would_ be a big thing for you to do. + +PHOEBE. You see, whatever happened, the seat would be yours. This case +only gives us the right to go to the poll. We are keen upon Annys +because she’s our best card, that’s all. + +GEOFFREY. Do you wish it? + +ANNYS. (_She smiles up at him_.) I’d rather fight you than any one +else. + +GEOFFREY. You are not afraid that the situation might be—just a trifle +comical? + +ANNYS. (_Shakes her head_.) No. I think everybody will say it was +rather splendid of you. + +GEOFFREY. Well, if it will help women. + +ANNYS. (_She holds out her hand_. _She is still in exalted mood_.) We +will show how man and woman may be drawn nearer to one another by rivalry +for noble ends. + +ST. HERBERT. (_He shakes_ GEOFFREY’S _somewhat limp hand_.) I envy you. +The situation promises to be piquant. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. It will be a battle of roses. + +LADY MOGTON. I must go. I shall see you both again to-morrow. (_She +kisses_ GEOFFREY.) This is an historic day. + +GEOFFREY. Yes. I daresay we shall all remember it. + +LADY MOGTON. (_To_ JANET.) I will get you to come to the station with +me. I can give you your instructions in the cab. (_She kisses_ ANNYS.) +You have been called to a great work. Be worthy of it. + + (_They are all making ready to go_. ANNYS _has rung the bell for_ + HAKE.) + +JANET. (_To_ ANNYS.) Are you glad? + +ANNYS. (_Kisses her_.) You showed me the whole thing in a new light. +You were splendid. (_She turns to_ ELIZABETH.) Didn’t I tell you he +would convert you? + +ELIZABETH. I was wrong to judge all men guilty. There are also—the +innocent. + +ANNYS. (_For a moment—but a moment only—she is pleased_. _Then the +doubtful meaning of_ ELIZABETH’S _words strikes her_.) + + (_Enter_ HAKE.) + +ANNYS. (_She has to dismiss_ ELIZABETH.) Oh, Hake—(_To_ LADY MOGTON.) +You’ll want a cab, won’t you, mamma? + +LADY MOGTON. A taxi— Goodbye, everybody. + + (_She sails out_.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. I have my carriage. (_To_ ELIZABETH.) Can I +give you a lift? + +ELIZABETH. Thank you. (_To_ GEOFFREY.) We shall meet again. + +GEOFFREY. I feel sure of it. + + (MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS _and_ ELIZABETH _go out_.) + +PHOEBE. (_To_ HAKE.) Are Miss Blake’s things dry yet? + +JANET. They’ll be quite all right, dear. Please don’t trouble. (_She +advances a timid hand to_ GEOFFREY.) Goodbye, Mr. Chilvers. + +GEOFFREY. (_He takes it smiling_.) Goodbye. + + (_She goes out_; HAKE _follows_.) + +PHOEBE. Goodbye, old boy. (_They shake hands_.) Don’t you let her walk +over you. Make her fight. + +ANNYS. (_Laughing_.) Don’t you worry about that. + +ST. HERBERT. Would you care to look through McCaw v. Potts? (_He has +the papers in his hand_.) + +GEOFFREY. I’ll ask you for it when I want it. + +PHOEBE. (_At door_.) You’ll be alone this evening? + +ANNYS. Yes. Come in to dinner. + +PHOEBE. All right. Goodbye. + +ST. HERBERT. Goodbye. + + (GEOFFREY _and_ ANNYS _answer them_. _They go out_, _closing the + door_. GEOFFREY _is by the fire_. ANNYS _comes to him_.) + +ANNYS. (_She puts her arms round him_.) You don’t mind? + +GEOFFREY. (_He holds her at arms’ length—looking into her eyes and +smiling_.) I believe you are looking forward to it. + +ANNYS. Do you know how long we have been married? Eight years. And do +you know, sir, that all that time we have never had a difference? Don’t +you think it will be good for you? + +GEOFFREY. Do you know _why_ we have never had a difference? Because you +have always had your own way. + +ANNYS. Oh! + +GEOFFREY. You have got so used to it, you don’t notice it. + +ANNYS. Then it will be good for me. I must learn to suffer opposition. +(_She laughs_.) + +GEOFFREY. You won’t like it. + +ANNYS. Do you know, I’m not at all sure that I shan’t. (_Unconsciously +they let loose of one another_.) You see, I shall have the right of +hitting back. (_Again she laughs_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_Also laughingly_.) Is woman going to develop the fighting +instinct? + +ANNYS. I wonder. + + (_A moment’s silence_.) + +GEOFFREY. The difficulty in our case is there seems nothing to fight +about. + +ANNYS. We must think of something. (_Laughs_.) + +GEOFFREY. What line are you going to take—what is your argument: why +they should vote for you in preference to me? + +ANNYS. Simply that I am a woman. + +GEOFFREY. My dear child, that won’t be enough. Why should they vote for +you merely because you’re a woman? + +ANNYS. (_Slightly astonished_.) Because—because women are wanted in +public life. + +GEOFFREY. Who wants them? + +ANNYS. (_More astonished_.) Who? Why—(_it doesn’t seem too clear_.) +Why, all of us—you, yourself! + +GEOFFREY. I’m not East Poplar. + +ANNYS. (_Is puzzled a moment_, _then valiantly_.) I shall ask them to +send me to Parliament to represent the interests of their women—and +therefore of themselves—the interests of their children. + +GEOFFREY. Children! What do you know about children? + + (_Another silence_.) + +ANNYS. Personally—no. We have had no children of our own, of course. +But (_hopefully_) it is a woman’s instinct. + +GEOFFREY. Oh, Lord! That’s what the lady said who had buried seven. + +ANNYS. (_Her mouth is growing hard_.) Don’t you believe in the right of +women to share in the government of the country? + +GEOFFREY. Some women. Yes. I can see some capable— + +ANNYS. (_Winces_.) + +GEOFFREY. —elderly, motherly woman who has brought up a dozen children +of her own—who knows the world, being of some real use. + +ANNYS. If it comes to that, there must be—I don’t say more “capable,” +but more experienced, more fatherly men than yourself. + + (_He turns_, _they look at one another_. _His tone almost touched + contempt—hers was veiled anger_.) + +GEOFFREY. _That’s_ the danger. It may come to a real fight. + +ANNYS. (_Upon her also the fear has fallen_.) It must not. (_She +flings her arms around him_.) We must show the world that man and woman +can meet—contend in public life without anger, without scorn. + +GEOFFREY. (_He folds her to him_.) The very words sound ugly, don’t +they? + +ANNYS. It would be hideous. (_She draws away_.) How long will the +election last? + +GEOFFREY. Not long. The writ will be issued on Wednesday. Nomination +on Monday—polling, I expect, on Saturday. Puts me in mind—I must prepare +my election address. + +ANNYS. I ought to be getting on with mine, too, I suppose. + +GEOFFREY. It ought to be out by to-morrow. + +ANNYS. (_With inspiration_.) We’ll do yours first. (_She wonders why +he hesitates_.) + +GEOFFREY. “We?” Shan’t I have to do it alone—this time? + +ANNYS. Alone! Nonsense! How can you? + +GEOFFREY. I’m afraid I shall have to try. + +ANNYS. Um! I suppose you’re right. What a nuisance! (_She turns +away_.) I shan’t like it. + +GEOFFREY. (_He moves towards the folding-doors_.) No. It won’t be +quite the same thing. Goodbye. + +ANNYS. (_She crosses to her desk by the window_. _Not the same instant +but the next his_ “_Goodbye_” _strikes her_. _She turns_.) You’re not +going out, are you? + +GEOFFREY. (_He stops and turns—puzzled at her question_.) No. Only +into my study. + +ANNYS. You said “Goodbye.” + +GEOFFREY. (_Not remembering_.) _I_ did! Must have been thinking of +something else. I shall be in here if you want me. (_He goes into the +other room_.) + +ANNYS. (_She has crossed to her desk_. _She is humming_. _She seats +herself_, _takes paper and pen_, _writes_. _Without turning—still +writing—she raises her voice_.) Geoffrey! How do you spell +“experimental”? One “r” or two? + + (_There is no answer_. _Puzzled at the silence_, _she looks round_. + _The great folding-doors are closed_. _She stares in front of her_, + _thinking_, _then turns again to her work_.) + + CURTAIN. + + + + +THE SECOND ACT + + +SCENE:—_Liberal Central Committee Rooms_, _East India Dock Road_, +_Poplar_. _A large_, _high room on the first floor of an old-fashioned +house_. _Two high windows right_. _A door at back is the main +entrance_. _A door left leads to other rooms_. _The walls are papered +with election literature_. _Conspicuous among the posters displayed is_ +“_A Man for Men_.” “_No Petticoat Government_.” “_Will you be +Henpecked_?” _A large_, _round table centre is littered with papers and +pamphlets_. _A large desk stands between the windows_. _A settee is +against the left wall_. + +(_When the curtain rises_, ROSE MERTON (_otherwise_ “GINGER”) _is +discovered seated_, _her left arm resting on the table_. _She is a young +lady typical of the Cockney slavey type_, _dressed according to the ideas +of her class as regards the perfect lady_. _Her hat is characteristic_. +_Her gloves_, _her reticule_, _her umbrella—the latter something rather_ +“_saucy_”—_are displayed around her_. _She is feeling comfortable and +airing her views_. MRS. CHINN _is laying the cloth over a portion of the +table_, _with some tea-things_. MRS. CHINN _is a thin_, _narrow-chested +lady with thin hands and bony wrists_. _No one since her husband died +has ever seen her without her bonnet_. _Its appearance suggests the +possibility that she sleeps in it_. _It is black_, _like her dress_. +_The whole figure is decent_, _but dingy_.) + +GINGER. Wot I say about the question is— + +MRS. CHINN. Do you mind moving your arm? + +GINGER. Beg pardon. (_She shifts_.) Wot I say is, why not give us the +vote and end all the talking? + +MRS. CHINN. You think it would have that effect? + +GINGER. Well! we don’t want to go on being a nuisance—longer than we can +possibly ’elp! + +MRS. CHINN. Daresay you’re right. It’s about the time most people stop. + +GINGER. You’ve never thought much about the question yourself, ’ave you, +Mrs. Chinn? + +MRS. CHINN. I ain’t fretted much about it. + +GINGER. Was a time when I didn’t. I used to be all for—you know—larking +about. I never thought much about anything. + +MRS. CHINN. Ah! it’s a useful habit. + +GINGER. What is? + +MRS. CHINN. Thinking. + +GINGER. It’s what we women ’aven’t done enough of—in the past, I mean. +All that’s going to be altered. In the future there’s going to be no +difference between men and women. + +MRS. CHINN. (_Slowly_, _quietly she turns upon_ GINGER _her +expressionless eyes_.) + +GINGER. Mentally, I mean, o’ course. + +MRS. CHINN. (_Takes back her eyes_.) + +GINGER. Do you know, Mrs. Chinn, that once upon a time there was only +one sex? (_She spreads herself_.) Hus! + +MRS. CHINN. You ain’t thinking of going back to it, are you? + +GINGER. Not if the men be’ave themselves. + +MRS. CHINN. Perhaps they’re doing their best, poor things! It don’t do +to be too impatient with them. + +GINGER. Was talking to old Dot-and-carry-one the other d’y. You know +who I mean—chap with the wooden leg as ’as ’is pitch outside the +“George.” “Wot do you wimmen want worrying yourselves about things +outside the ’ome?” ’e says to me. “You’ve got the children,” ’e says. +“Oh,” I says, “and whose fault’s that, I’d like to know? You wait till +we’ve got the vote,” I says, “we’ll soon show you—” + + (SIGSBY _enters_. SIGSBY _is a dapper little man_, _very brisk and + bustling—hirsute—looks as if he wanted dusting_, _cleaning up + generally_.) + +SIGSBY. That young blackguard come back yet? + +GINGER. (_At sound of_ SIGSBY’S _voice she springs up_. _At first is +about to offer excuses for being found seated_, _but recollects +herself_.) + +MRS. CHINN. Which one, sir? + +SIGSBY. Young Jawbones—what’s he call himself?—Gordon. + +MRS. CHINN. Not yet, sir. + +SIGSBY. (_Grunts_.) My chop ready? + +MRS. CHINN. I expect it’s about done. I’ll see. + + (_She goes out_.) + +SIGSBY. (_He turns to_ GINGER.) What can _I_ do for you? + +GINGER. (_She produces a letter_.) I was to wait for an answer. + +SIGSBY. (_He opens and reads it_.) What do they expect me to do? + +GINGER. ’Er ladyship thought as perhaps you would consult Mr. Chilvers +’imself on the subject. + +SIGSBY. Look here. What I want to know is this: am I being asked to +regard Lady Mogton as my opponent’s election agent, or as my principal’s +mother-in-law? That point’s got to be settled. (_His vehemence +deepens_.) Look at all these posters. Not to be used, for fear the +other side mayn’t like them. Now Lady Mogton writes me that my +candidate’s supporters are not to employ a certain argument she +disapproves of: because, if they do, she’ll tell his wife. Is this an +election, or is it a family jar? + + (JAWBONES _enters_. JAWBONES—_otherwise_ WILLIAM GORDON—_is a + clean-shaven young hooligan_. _He wears a bicycle cap on the back of + his head_, _allowing a picturesque tuft of hair to fall over his + forehead_. _Evidently he is suffering from controlled indignation_.) + +SIGSBY. (_Seeing him_.) Oh, so you’ve come back, have you? + +JAWBONES. I ’ave, wot’s left of me. + +SIGSBY. What have you been doing? + +JAWBONES. Clinging to a roof for the last three hours. + +SIGSBY. Clinging to a roof! What for? + +JAWBONES. (_He boils over_.) Wot for? ’Cos I didn’t want to fall off! +Wot do you think: ’cos I was fond of it? + +SIGSBY. I don’t understand— + +JAWBONES. You find yourself ’alf way up a ladder, posting bills as the +other side ’as took objection to—with a crowd of girls from Pink’s jam +factory waiting for you at the bottom with a barrel of treacle, and you +_will_ understand. Nothing else for me to do, o’ course, but to go up. +Then they took the ladder away. + +SIGSBY. Where are the bills? + +JAWBONES. Last I see of them was their being put into a ’earse on its +way to Ilford Cemetery. + +SIGSBY. This has got to be seen into. This sort of thing can’t be +allowed to go on. (_He snatches up his hat_.) + +JAWBONES. There’s another suggestion I’d like to make. + +SIGSBY. (_Pauses_.) + +JAWBONES. That is, if this election is going to be fought fairly, that +our side should be provided with ’at-pins. + +SIGSBY. (_Grunts_.) Tell Mrs. Chinn to keep that chop warm. + + (_He goes out_.) + +GINGER. (_She begins to giggle_. _It grows into a shrill hee-haw_.) + +JAWBONES. (_He looks at her fixedly_.) + +GINGER. (_Her laugh_, _under the stern eye of_ JAWBONES, _dies away_.) + +JAWBONES. Ain’t no crowd of you ’ere, you know. Nothing but my inborn +chivalry to prevent my pulling your nose. + +GINGER. (_Cowed_, _but simmering_.) Chivalry! (_A shrill snort_.) + +JAWBONES. Yus. And don’t you put a strain upon it neither. Because I +tell you straight, it’s weakening. + +GINGER. (_His sudden fierceness has completely cowed her_.) + +JAWBONES. You wimmin— + + (_There re-enters_ MRS. CHINN _with a tray_. _He is between them_.) + +That’s old Sigsby’s chop? + +MRS. CHINN. Yes. He hasn’t gone out again, has he? + +JAWBONES. I’ll ’ave it. Get ’im another. Guess ’e won’t be back for +’alf an hour. + +MRS. CHINN. He’s nasty when his food ain’t ready. + +JAWBONES. (_He takes the tray from her_.) Not your fault. Tell ’im I +took it from you by brute force. + +MRS. CHINN. (_She acquiesces with her usual even absence of all +emotion_.) + +JAWBONES. You needn’t stop. Miss Rose Merton will do the waiting. + +GINGER. (_Starts_, _then begins to collect her etceteras_.) + +MRS. CHINN. Perhaps there’ll be time to cook him another. + + (_She goes out_.) + +JAWBONES. Take off that cover. + +GINGER. (_She starts on a bolt for the door_.) + +JAWBONES. (_He is quite prepared_. _In an instant he is in front of +her_.) No, yer don’t. + + (_A pause_.) + +Take off that cover. + +GINGER. (_She still hesitates_.) + +JAWBONES. If yer don’t do what I tell yer, I’ll ’ide yer. I’m in the +mood. + +GINGER. (_She takes off the cover_.) + +JAWBONES. (_He seats himself and falls to_.) Now pour me out a cup of +tea. + +GINGER. (_Is pouring it out_.) + +JAWBONES. Know why yer doing it? + +GINGER. (_With shrill indignation_.) Yus. Becos yer got me ’ere alone, +yer beast, with only that cracked image of a Mrs. Chinn— + +JAWBONES. That’ll do. + +GINGER. (_It is sufficient_. _She stops_.) + +JAWBONES. None of your insults agen a lady as I ’olds in ’igh respect. +The rest of it is all right. Becos I’ve got yer ’ere alone. You wimmin, +you think it’s going to pay you to chuck law and order. You’re out for a +fight, are yer? + +GINGER. Yus, and we’re going to win. Brute force ’as ’ad its d’y. It’s +brains wot are going to rule the world. And we’ve got ’em. + + (_She has become quite oratorical_.) + +JAWBONES. Glad to ’ear it. Take my tip: you’ll use ’em. Meanwhile I’ll +’ave another cup o’ tea. + +GINGER. (_She takes the cup—is making for the window_.) + +JAWBONES. (_Fierce again_.) I said tea. + +GINGER. All right, I was only going to throw the slops out of window. +There ain’t no basin. + +JAWBONES. I’ll tell yer when I want yer to open the window and call for +the p’lice. You can throw them into the waste-paper basket. + +GINGER. (_She obeys_.) + +JAWBONES. Thank you. Very much obliged. One of these d’ys, maybe, +you’ll marry. + +GINGER. When I do, it will be a man, not a monkey. + +JAWBONES. I’m not proposing. I’m talking to you for your good. + +GINGER. (_Snorts_.) + +JAWBONES. You’ve been listening to a lot of toffs. Easy enough for them +to talk about wimmen not being domestic drudges. They keep a cook to do +it. They don’t pity ’e for being a down-trodden slive, spending sixteen +hours a d’y in _their_ kitchen with an evening out once a week. When you +marry it will be to a bloke like me, a working man . . . + +GINGER. Working! (_She follows it with a shrill laugh_.) + +JAWBONES. Yus. There’s always a class as laughs when you mention the +word “work.” Them as knows wot it is, don’t. I’ve been at it since six +o’clock this morning, carrying a ladder, a can of paste weighing twenty +pounds, and two ’undred double royal posters. You try it! When ’e comes +’ome, ’e’ll want ’is victuals. If you’ve got ’em ready for ’im and are +looking nice—no reason why you shouldn’t—and feeling amiable, you’ll get +on very well together. If you are going to argue with ’im about woman’s +sphere, you’ll get the worst of it. + +GINGER. You always was a bully. + +JAWBONES. Not always. Remember last Bank ’oliday? (_He winks_.) + +GINGER. (_She tries not to give in_.) + +JAWBONES. ’Ave a cup of tea. (_He pours it out for her_.) + +GINGER. (_The natural woman steals in—she sits_.) + +JAWBONES. ’Ow are they doing you, fairly well? + +GINGER. Oh! Well, nothing to grumble at. + +JAWBONES. You can do a bit o’ dressing on it. + +GINGER. (_She meets his admiring eye_. _The suffragette departs_.) +Dressing don’t cost much—when you’ve got tyste. + +JAWBONES. Wot! Not that ’at? + +GINGER. Made it myself. + +JAWBONES. No! + +GINGER. Honour bright! Tell yer— + + (GEOFFREY _and_ ST. HERBERT _enter_. JAWBONES _and_ GINGER _make to + rise_. GINGER _succeeds_.) + +GEOFFREY. All right, all right. Don’t let me disturb the party. +Where’s Mr. Sigsby? + +JAWBONES. Gone to look up the police, I think, sir. (_Having finished_, +_he rises_.) Some of those factory girls been up to their larks again. + +GEOFFREY. Umph! What’s it about this time? + +JAWBONES. They’ve took objection to one of our posters. + +GEOFFREY. What, another! (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) Woman has disappointed me +as a fighter. She’s willing enough to strike. If you hit back, she’s +surprised and grieved. + +ST. HERBERT. She’s come to the game rather late. + +GEOFFREY. She might have learned the rules. (_To_ JAWBONES.) Which +particular one is it that has failed to meet with their approval? + +JAWBONES. It’s rather a good one, sir, from our point of view: “Why she +left her ’appy ’ome.” + +GEOFFREY. I don’t seem to remember it. Have I seen it? + +JAWBONES. I don’t think you ’ave, sir. It was Mr. Sigsby’s idea. On +the left, the ruined ’ome, baby crying it’s little ’eart out—eldest child +lying on the floor, scalded—upset the tea-kettle over itself—youngest boy +in flames—been playing with the matches, nobody there to stop ’im. At +the open door the father, returning from work. Nothing ready for ’im. +On the other side—’_er_, on a tub, spouting politics. + +GEOFFREY. (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) Sounds rather good. + +JAWBONES. Wait a minute. There was a copy somewhere about—a proof. +(_He is searching for it on the desk—finds it_.) Yus, ’ere ’tis. (_To_ +GINGER.) Catch ’old. + + (JAWBONES _and_ GINGER _hold it displayed_.) + +That’s the one, sir. + +ST. HERBERT. Why is the working man, for pictorial purposes, always a +carpenter? + +GINGER. It’s the skirt we object to. + +GEOFFREY. The skirt! What’s wrong with the skirt? + +GINGER. Well, it’s only been out of fashion for the last three years, +that’s all. + +GEOFFREY. Oh! I see. (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) We’ve been hitting them +below the belt. What do you think I ought to do about it? + +ST. HERBERT. What would you have thought yourself, three weeks ago? + +GEOFFREY. You and I have been friends ever since we were boys. You +rather like me, don’t you? + +ST. HERBERT. (_Puzzled_.) Yes. + +GEOFFREY. If I were to suddenly hit you on the nose, what would happen? + +ST. HERBERT. I understand. Woman has suddenly started hitting man on +the nose. Her excuse being that she really couldn’t keep her hands off +him any longer. + +JAWBONES. (_He has pinned the poster to the wall_.) They begun it. To +’ear them talk, you’d think as man had never done anything right. + +GEOFFREY. He’s quite right. Their posters are on every hoarding: “Who’s +made all the Muddles? Man!” “Men’s Promises! Why, it’s all Froth!” +“Woman this Time!” I suppose it will have to go. + +JAWBONES. (_Hopefully_.) Up, sir? + +GEOFFREY. No, Jawbones. Into the dust-heap with the rest. + + (JAWBONES _is disgusted_. GINGER _is triumphant_.) + +GEOFFREY. I must talk to Sigsby. He’s taking the whole thing too +seriously. It will be some time before we reach that stage. (_To_ +JAWBONES.) Ask Mrs. Chinn to bring me a cup of tea. + + (JAWBONES _goes out_.) + +(_He seats himself at table and takes up some correspondence_. _To_ +GINGER.) Are you waiting for any one? + +GINGER. A letter from her ladyship. (_She picks up from the desk and +hands him the letter_ SIGSBY _had thrown there_.) Her ladyship thought +you ought to be consulted. + +GEOFFREY. (_He reads the short letter with a gathering frown—hands it +across to_ ST. HERBERT.) + +ST. HERBERT. (_Having read_, _he passes it back in silence_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_To_ GINGER.) Do you know the contents of this letter? + +GINGER. The matter has been discussed among us—informally. + +GEOFFREY. Tell Lady Mogton I’ll—talk to her myself on the subject. + +GINGER. Thank you. (_She collects her etceteras_.) Good afternoon. + +GEOFFREY. (_Shortly_.) Good afternoon. + +GINGER. (_She bows graciously to_ ST. HERBERT, _who responds_. _Goes +out_.) + +GEOFFREY. The devil of it is that it’s the truth. + +ST. HERBERT. Somebody was bound to say it, sooner or later! + +GEOFFREY. Yes, but one’s own wife! This is a confoundedly awkward +situation. + +ST. HERBERT. (_He comes to him_, _stands looking down at him_.) Did it +never occur to you, when you were advocating equal political rights for +women, that awkward situations might arise? + +GEOFFREY. (_He leans back in his chair_.) Do you remember Tommy the +Terrier, as they used to call him in the House—was always preaching +Socialism? + +ST. HERBERT. Quite the most amusing man I ever met! + +GEOFFREY. And not afraid of being honest. Do you remember his answer +when somebody asked him what he would do if Socialism, by any chance, +really became established in England? He had just married an American +heiress. He said he should emigrate. I am still convinced that woman is +entitled to equal political rights with man. I didn’t think it was +coming in my time. There are points in the problem remaining to be +settled before we can arrive at a working solution. This is one of them. +(_He takes up the letter and reads_.) “Are you prepared to have as your +representative a person who for six months out of every year may be +incapacitated from serving you?” It’s easy enough to say I oughtn’t to +allow my supporters to drag in the personal element. I like it even less +myself. But what’s the answer? + + (JAWBONES _enters with a tray_.) + +JAWBONES. (_Places tray on table_.) Tea’s coming in a minute, sir. +(_He is clearing away_.) + +GEOFFREY. Never mind all that. (_He hands him a slip_.) Take this to +the printers. Tell them I must have a proof to-night. + +JAWBONES. Yes, sir. + + (_Finds his cap and goes out_.) + +ST. HERBERT. The answer, I should say, would be that the majority of +women will continue to find something better to do. The women who will +throw themselves into politics will be the unattached women, the +childless women. (_In an instant he sees his mistake_, _but it is too +late_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_He rises_, _crosses to the desk_, _throws into a +waste-paper-basket a piece of crumpled paper that was in his hand_; _then +turns_. _The personal note has entered into the discussion_.) The women +who _want_ to be childless—what about them? + +ST. HERBERT. (_He shrugs his shoulders_.) Are there any such? + +GEOFFREY. There are women who talk openly of woman’s share in the +general scheme being a “burden” on her—an “incubus.” + +ST. HERBERT. A handful of cranks. To the normal woman motherhood has +always been the one supreme desire. + +GEOFFREY. Because children crowned her with honour. The barren woman +was despised. All that is changing. This movement is adding impulse to +it. + +ST. HERBERT. Movements do not alter instincts. + +GEOFFREY. But they do. Ever since man emerged from the jungle he has +been shedding his instincts—shaping them to new desires. Where do you +find this all-prevailing instinct towards maternity? Among the women of +society, who sacrifice it without a moment’s hesitation to their +vanity—to their mere pleasures? The middle-class woman—she, too, is +demanding “freedom.” Children, servants, the home!—they are too much for +her “nerves.” And now there comes this new development, appealing to the +intellectual woman. Is there not danger of her preferring political +ambition, the excitement of public life, to what has come to be regarded +as the “drudgery” of turning four walls into a home, of peopling the +silence with the voices of the children? (_He crosses to the table—lays +his hand again upon the open letter_.) How do you know that this may not +be her answer—“I have no children. I never mean to have children”? + + (SIGSBY _enters in company with_ BEN LAMB, M.P. LAMB _is a short_, + _thick-set_, _good-tempered man_.) + +Ah, Lamb, how are you? + +LAMB. (_They greet one another_.) How are things going? + +SIGSBY. They’re not going at all well. + +GEOFFREY. Sigsby was ever the child of despondency. + +SIGSBY. Yes, and so will you be when you find yourself at the bottom of +the poll. + +GEOFFREY. (_The notion takes him by surprise_.) + +LAMB. It’s going to be a closer affair than any of us thought. It’s the +joke of the thing that appears to have got hold of them. They want to +see what will happen. + +GEOFFREY. Man’s fatal curiosity concerning the eternal feminine! + +SIGSBY. Yes, and they won’t have to pay for it. That will be our +department. + +ST. HERBERT. (_To_ SIGSBY.) What do you think they’ll do, supposing by +any chance Mrs. Chilvers should head the poll? + +SIGSBY. How do you mean—“what’ll they do?” + +ST. HERBERT. Do you think they’ll claim the seat? + +SIGSBY. Claim the seat! What do you think they’re out for—their health? +Get another six months’ advertisement, if they don’t get anything else. +Meanwhile what’s our position—just at the beginning of our ministerial +career? + +GEOFFREY. They will not claim the seat. + +SIGSBY. How do you know? + +GEOFFREY. I know my wife. + +LAMB. (_After a moment’s silence_.) Quite sure you do? + +GEOFFREY. (_Turns_.) + +LAMB. Ever seen a sheep fighting mad? I have. Damned sight worse than +the old ram. + +GEOFFREY. She doesn’t fight the ram. + +LAMB. (_He makes a sweeping movement that takes in the room_, _the +election—all things_.) What’s all this? We thought woman hadn’t got the +fighting instinct—that we “knew her.” My boy, we’re in the infants’ +class. + +SIGSBY. If you want to be his Majesty’s Under-Secretary for Home +Affairs, you take my tip, guv’nor, you’ll win this election. + +GEOFFREY. What more can I do than I’m doing? How can I countenance this +sort of thing? (_He indicates the posters_.) Declare myself dead +against the whole movement? + +LAMB. You’ll do it later. May as well do it soon. + +GEOFFREY. Why must I do it? + +LAMB. Because you’re beginning to find out what it means. + + (_A pause_. _The door is open_. ANNYS _is standing there_.) + +ANNYS. Dare we venture into the enemy’s camp? + + (_She enters_, _laughing_, _followed by_ ELIZABETH _and_ PHOEBE. ANNYS + is somewhat changed _from the grave_, _dreamy_ ANNYS _of a short week + ago_. _She is brimming over with vitality—excitement_. _There is a + decisiveness_, _an egoism_, _about her that seems new to her_. _The + women’s skirts make a flutter_. _A breeze seems to have entered_. + ANNYS _runs to her husband_. _For the moment the election fades away_. + _They are all smiles_, _tenderness for one another_.) + +ANNYS. Don’t tell, will you? Mamma would be so shocked. Do you know +you haven’t been near me for three days? + +GEOFFREY. Umph! I like that. Where were you last night? + +ANNYS. Last night? In the neighbourhood of Leicester Square till three +o’clock. Oh, Geoff, there’s such a lot wants altering! + + (_She turns to greet the others_.) + +GEOFFREY. Your ruining your health won’t do it. You’re looking fagged +to death. + +ANNYS. (_She shakes hands with_ SIGSBY.) How are you? (_To_ LAMB.) +I’m so glad you’re helping him. (_She turns again to_ GEOFFREY.) Pure +imagination, dearest. I never felt better in my life. + +GEOFFREY. Umph! Look at all those lines underneath your eyes. (_He +shakes hands with_ ELIZABETH.) How do you do? (_To_ PHOEBE.) How are +you? + +ANNYS. (_She comes back to him—makes to smooth the lines from his +forehead_.) Look at all those, there. We’ll run away together for a +holiday, when it’s all over. What are you doing this evening? + +SIGSBY. You promised to speak at a Smoker to-night; the Bow and Bromley +Buffaloes. + +ANNYS. Oh, bother the Buffaloes. Take me out to dinner. I am free +after seven. + + (MRS. CHINN _has entered—is arranging the table for tea_. ANNYS _goes + to her_.) + +How are you, Mrs. Chinn? + +MRS. CHINN. (_She wipes her hand on her apron before taking_ ANNYS’S +_proffered hand_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_To_ SIGSBY.) I can turn up there later in the evening. +(_He joins the others for a moment—talks with them_.) + +MRS. CHINN. (_Now shaking hands_.) Quite well, thank you, ma’am. (_She +has cast a keen_, _motherly glance at_ ANNYS.) I hope you’re taking care +of yourself, ma’am. + +ANNYS. Of course I am. We Politicians owe it to our Party. (_Laughs_.) +How are they getting on here, without me? + +MRS. CHINN. Well, ma’am, from what I can see, I think Mr. Chilvers is +trusting a little too much to his merits. Shall I bring some more cups +and saucers, sir? + +GEOFFREY. Ah! yes! (_To_ ANNYS.) You’ll have some tea? + +ANNYS. Strong, please, Mrs. Chinn. + + (MRS. CHINN _goes out_.) + +(_Laughs_.) Yes, I know it’s bad for me. (_She puts a hand over his +mouth_.) + +PHOEBE. Old Mother Chinn is quite right, you know, Geoff. You’re not +putting up a good fight. + +GEOFFREY. (_A slight irritability begins to show itself_.) I frankly +confess that I am not used to fighting women. + +ELIZABETH. Yes. It was easier, no doubt, when we took it lying down. + +ANNYS. You promised, if I brought you, that you would be good. + +GEOFFREY. I wish it had been you. + +PHOEBE. Yes, but we don’t! + + (_As she and_ ELIZABETH _move away_.) + +Did you have a row with the doctor when you were born? + + (_To which_ ELIZABETH _replies_, _though the words reach only_ PHOEBE: + “_I might have_, _if I had known that my mother was doing all the + work_, _while he was pocketing the fee_!”) + +LAMB. You see, Mrs. Chilvers, our difficulty is that there is nothing to +be said against you—except one thing. + +ANNYS. What’s that? + +LAMB. That you’re a woman. + +ANNYS. (_Smiling_.) Isn’t that enough? + +SIGSBY. Quite enough, Mrs. Chilvers, if the guv’nor would only say it. + +ANNYS. (_To_ GEOFFREY.) Why don’t you? I’ll promise not to deny it. + + (_The others drift apart_. _They group themselves near to the window_. + _They talk together—grow evidently interested and excited_.) + +GEOFFREY. I have just had a letter from your—Election Agent, expressing +indignation with one of my supporters for merely having hinted at the +fact. + +ANNYS. I don’t understand. + +GEOFFREY. (_He takes from the table the letter and hands it to her in +silence_. _He seats himself on the settee and watches her_.) + +ANNYS. (_She seats herself on a chair just opposite to him_; _reads the +letter through in silence_.) In my case it does not apply. + +GEOFFREY. How do you know? + +ANNYS. (_The atmosphere has grown suddenly oppressive_.) Oh, I—I think +we might find some other reason than that. (_She hands him back the +letter_.) + +GEOFFREY. It’s the only one of any importance. It embraces all the +others. Shall woman be mother—or politician? (_He puts the letter in +his pocket_.) + +ANNYS. Why cannot she be both? + +GEOFFREY. (_He is looking at her searchingly_.) Because if she is the +one, she doesn’t want to be the other. + + (_A silence_.) + +ANNYS. You are wrong. It is the mother instinct that makes us +politicians. We want to take care of the world. + +GEOFFREY. Exactly. You think man’s job more interesting than your own. + +ANNYS. (_After a moment_.) Who told you that it was a man’s job? + +GEOFFREY. Well. (_He shrugs his shoulders_.) We can’t do yours. + +ANNYS. Can’t we help each other? + +GEOFFREY. As, for instance, in this election! (_He gives a short +laugh_.) + +ANNYS. Of course, this is an exceptional case. + +GEOFFREY. It’s an epitome of the whole question. You are trying to take +my job away from me. To the neglect of your own. + +ANNYS. (_After another moment’s silence_.) Haven’t I always tried to do +my duty? + +GEOFFREY. I have thought so. + +ANNYS. Oh, my dear, we mustn’t quarrel. You will win this election. I +want you to win it. Next time we must fight side by side again. + +GEOFFREY. Don’t you see? Fighting you means fighting the whole +movement. (_He indicates the posters pinned to the walls_.) That sort +of thing. + +ANNYS. (_After a brief inspection_.) Not that way. (_Shaking her +head_.) It would break my heart for you to turn against us. Win because +you are the better man. (_Smiling_.) I want you to be the better man. + +GEOFFREY. I would rather be your husband. + +ANNYS. (_Smiling_.) Isn’t that the same thing? + +GEOFFREY. No. I want a wife. + +ANNYS. What precisely do you mean by “wife”? + +GEOFFREY. It’s an old-established word. + + (MRS. CHINN _has entered to complete the tea arrangements_. _She is + arranging the table_.) + +MRS. CHINN. There’s a deputation downstairs, sir, just come for you. + +GEOFFREY. What are they? + +MRS. CHINN. It’s one of those societies for the reform of something. +They said you were expecting them. + +SIGSBY. (_Breaking away from the group by the window_.) Quite right. +(_Looks at his watch_.) Five o’clock, I’ll bring them up. + +GEOFFREY. Happen to know what it is they want to reform? + +SIGSBY. (_By door_.) Laws relating to the physical relationship between +the sexes, I think. + +GEOFFREY. Oh, only that! + +SIGSBY. Something of the sort. + +(_He goes out_. MRS. CHINN _also by the other door_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_Rising_.) Will you pour out? + +ANNYS. (_She has been thinking_. _She comes back to the present_.) We +shan’t be in your way? + +GEOFFREY. Oh, no. It will make it easier to get rid of them. + + (ANNYS _changes her chair_. _The others gather round_. _The service + and drinking of tea proceeds in the usual course_.) + +(_To_ ELIZABETH.) You’ll take some tea? + +ELIZABETH. Thank you. + +GEOFFREY. You must be enjoying yourself just now. + +ELIZABETH. (_Makes a moue_.) They insist on my being agreeable. + +ANNYS. It’s so good for her. Teaches her self-control. + +LAMB. I gather from Mrs. Spender, that in the perfect world there will +be no men at all. + +ELIZABETH. Oh, yes, they will be there. But in their proper place. + +ST. HERBERT. That’s why you didn’t notice them. + + (_The_ DEPUTATION _reaches the door_. _The sound of voices is heard_.) + +PHOEBE. She’s getting on very well. If she isn’t careful, she’ll end up +by being a flirt. + + (_The_ DEPUTATION _enters_, _guided by_ SIGSBY. _Its number is five_, + _two men and three women_. _Eventually they group themselves—some + standing_, _some sitting—each side of_ GEOFFREY. _The others gather + round_ ANNYS, _who keeps her seat at the opposite side of the table_.) + +SIGSBY. (_Talking as he enters_.) Exactly what I’ve always maintained. + +HOPPER. It would make the husband quite an interesting person. + +SIGSBY. (_Cheerfully_.) That’s the idea. Here we are, guv’nor. This +is Mr. Chilvers. + + (GEOFFREY _bows_, _the_ DEPUTATION _also_. SIGSBY _introduces a + remarkably boyish-looking man_, _dressed in knickerbockers_.) + +SIGSBY. This is Mr. Peekin, who has kindly consented to act as +spokesman. (_To the_ DEPUTATION, _generally_.) Will you have some tea? + +MISS BORLASSE. (_A thick-set_, _masculine-featured lady_, _with short +hair and heavy eyebrows_. _Her deep_, _decisive tone settles the +question_.) Thank you. We have so little time. + +MR. PEEKIN. We propose, Mr. Chilvers, to come to the point at once. +(_He is all smiles_, _caressing gestures_.) + +GEOFFREY. Excellent. + +PEEKIN. If I left a baby at your door, what would you do with it? + +GEOFFREY. (_For a moment he is taken aback_, _recovers himself_.) Are +you thinking of doing so? + +PEEKIN. It’s not impossible. + +GEOFFREY. Well, it sounds perhaps inhospitable, but do you know I really +think I should ask you to take it away again. + +PEEKIN. Yes, but by the time you find it there, I shall have +disappeared—skedaddled. + +HOPPER. Good. (_He rubs his hands_. _Smiles at the others_.) + +GEOFFREY. In that case I warn you that I shall hand it over to the +police. + +PEEKIN. (_He turns to the others_.) I don’t myself see what else Mr. +Chilvers could be expected to do. + +MISS BORLASSE. He’d be a fool not to. + +GEOFFREY. Thank you. So far we seem to be in agreement. And now may I +ask to what all this is leading? + +PEEKIN. (_He changes from the debonnair to the dramatic_.) How many +men, Mr. Chilvers, leave their babies every year at the door of +poverty-stricken women? What are they expected to do with them? + + (_A moment_. _The_ DEPUTATION _murmur approval_.) + +GEOFFREY. I see. But is there no difference between the two doors? I +am not an accomplice. + +PEEKIN. An accomplice! Is the ignorant servant-girl—first lured into +the public-house, cajoled, tricked, deceived by false promises—the +half-starved shop-girl in the hands of the practised libertine—is she an +accomplice? + +MRS. PEEKIN. (_A dowdily-dressed_, _untidy woman_, _but the face is +sweet and tender_.) Ah, Mr. Chilvers, if you could only hear the stories +that I have heard from dying lips. + +GEOFFREY. Very pitiful, my dear lady. And, alas, only too old. But +there are others. It would not be fair to blame always the man. + +ANNYS. (_Unnoticed_, _drawn by the subject_, _she has risen and come +down_.) Perhaps not. But the punishment always falls on the woman. Is +_that_ quite fair? + +GEOFFREY. (_He is irritated at_ ANNYS’S _incursion into the +discussion_.) My dear Annys, that is Nature’s law, not man’s. All man +can do is to mitigate it. + +PEEKIN. That is all we ask. The suffering, the shame, must always be +the woman’s. Surely that is sufficient. + +GEOFFREY. What do you propose? + +MISS BORLASSE. (_In her deep_, _fierce tones_.) That all children born +out of wedlock should be a charge upon the rates. + +MISS RICKETTS. (_A slight_, _fair_, _middle-aged woman_, _with a nervous +hesitating manner_.) Of course, only if the mother wishes it. + +GEOFFREY. (_The proposal staggers him_. _But the next moment it +inspires him with mingled anger and amusement_.) My dear, good people, +have you stopped for one moment to consider what the result of your +proposal would be? + +PEEKIN. For one thing, Mr. Chilvers, the adding to the populace of +healthy children in place of the stunted and diseased abortions that is +all that these poor women, out of their scanty earnings, can afford to +present to the State. + +GEOFFREY. Humph! That incidentally it would undermine the whole +institution of marriage, let loose the flood-gates that at present hold +immorality in check, doesn’t appear to trouble you. That the law must be +altered to press less heavily upon the woman—that the man must be made an +equal sharer in the penalty—all that goes without saying. The remedy you +propose would be a thousand times worse than the disease. + +ANNYS. And meanwhile? Until you have devised this scheme (_there is a +note of contempt in her voice_) under which escape for the man will be +impossible? + +GEOFFREY. The evil must continue. As other evils have to until the true +remedy is found. + +PEEKIN. (_He has hurriedly consulted with the others_. _All have +risen—he turns to_ GEOFFREY.) You will not support our demand? + +GEOFFREY. Support it! Do you mean that you cannot yourselves see that +you are holding out an indemnity to every profligate, male and female, +throughout the land—that you would be handicapping, in the struggle for +existence, every honest man and woman desirous of bringing up their +children in honour and in love? Your suggestion is monstrous! + +PEEKIN. (_The little man is not without his dignity_.) We apologise, +Mr. Chilvers, for having taken up your time. + +GEOFFREY. I am sorry the matter was one offering so little chance of +agreement. + +PEEKIN. We will make only one slight further trespass on your kindness. +Mrs. Chilvers, if one may judge, would seem to be more in sympathy with +our views. Might we—it would be a saving of time and shoe leather (_he +smiles_)—might we take this opportunity of laying our case before her? + +GEOFFREY. It would be useless. + + (_A short silence_. ANNYS, _with_ ELIZABETH _and_ PHOEBE _a little + behind her_, _stands right_. LAMB, SIGSBY, _and_ ST. HERBERT _are + behind_ GEOFFREY _centre_. _The_ DEPUTATION _is left_.) + +HOPPER. Do we gather that in this election you speak for both +candidates? + +GEOFFREY. In matters of common decency, yes. My wife does not associate +herself with movements for the encouragement of vice. + + (_There is another moment’s silence_.) + +ANNYS. But, Geoffrey, dear—we should not be encouraging the evil. We +should still seek to find the man, to punish him. The woman would still +suffer— + +GEOFFREY. My dear Annys, this is neither the time nor place for you and +me to argue out the matter. I must ask you to trust to my judgment. + +ANNYS. I can understand your refusing, but why do you object to my— + +GEOFFREY. Because I do not choose for my wife’s name to be linked with a +movement that I regard as criminal. I forbid it. + + (_It was the moment that was bound to come_. _The man’s instincts_, + _training_, _have involuntarily asserted themselves_. _Shall the woman + yield_? _If so_, _then down goes the whole movement—her claim to + freedom of judgment_, _of action_, _in all things_. _All watch the + struggle with breathless interest_.) + +ANNYS. (_She speaks very slowly_, _very quietly_, _but with a new note +in her voice_.) I am sorry, but I have given much thought to this +matter, and—I do not agree with you. + +MRS. PEEKIN. You will help us? + +ANNYS. I will do what I can. + +PEEKIN. (_He takes from his pocket a folded paper_.) It is always so +much more satisfactory when these things are in writing. Candidates, +with the best intentions in the world, are apt to forget. (_He has +spread the paper on a corner of the table_. _He has in his hand his +fountain-pen_.) + +ANNYS. (_With a smile_.) I am not likely to forget, but if you wish +it—(_She approaches the table_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_He interposes_. _His voice is very low_, _almost a +whisper_.) My wife will not sign. + +ANNYS. (_She also speaks low_, _but there is no yielding in her voice_.) +I am not only your wife. I have a duty also to others. + +GEOFFREY. It is for you to choose. (_He leaves the way open to her_.) + + (_The silence can almost be felt_. _She moves to the table_, _takes up + the paper_. _It contains but a few lines of writing_. _Having read + it_, _she holds out her hand for the pen_. PEEKIN _puts it in her + hand_. _With a firm hand she signs_, _folds the paper_, _and returns + it to him_. _She remains standing by the table_. _With the removal of + the tension there comes a rustle_, _a breaking of the silence_.) + +MISS RICKETTS. (_She seizes_ ANNYS’S _hand_, _hanging listlessly by her +side_, _and_, _stooping_, _kisses it_.) + +MISS BORLASSE. That is all, isn’t it? + +PEEKIN. We thank you, Mrs. Chilvers. Good afternoon. + +ANNYS. (_The natural reaction is asserting itself_. _She pulls herself +together sufficiently to murmur her answer_.) Good afternoon. + +MRS. PEEKIN. (_The_ DEPUTATION _is moving away_; _she takes from her +waist a small bunch of flowers_, _and_, _turning_, _places them in_ +ANNYS’S _hand_.) + +ANNYS. (_She smiles_, _remains standing silent_, _the flowers in her +hand_.) + + (“_Good afternoons_” _are exchanged with some of the others_. + _Finally_:) + +PEEKIN. Good afternoon, Mr. Chilvers. + +GEOFFREY. (_Who has moved away_.) Good afternoon. + + (_The_ DEPUTATION _joins_ SIGSBY _by the door_. _He leads them out_.) + +ELIZABETH. (_To_ PHOEBE.) Are you going my way? + +PHOEBE. (_She glances round at_ ANNYS.) Yes, I’ll come with you. + +ST. HERBERT. I will put you into a bus, if you will let me. We don’t +sport many cabs in East Poplar. (_He is helping_ ELIZABETH _with her +cloak_.) + +ELIZABETH. Thank you. + +LAMB. I’ve got to go up West. (_To_ GEOFFREY.) Will you be at the +House this evening? + +GEOFFREY. (_He is standing by the desk pretending to look at some +papers_.) I shall look in about ten o’clock. + +LAMB. One or two things I want to say to you. Goodbye for the present. + +GEOFFREY. Goodbye! + +PHOEBE. Goodbye, old man. (_She stretches out her hand_.) + +GEOFFREY. Goodbye. (_She shakes hands with a smile_, _exchanges a +casual_ “_goodbye_” _with_ ELIZABETH.) + + (_They go towards the door_.) + + (SIGSBY _re-enters_.) + +SIGSBY. (_To_ LAMB.) Are you going? + +LAMB. Yes. I’ll see you to-morrow morning. About ten o’clock. + +SIGSBY. I shall be here. (_He exchanges a_ “_good afternoon_” _with the +others_.) + + (_They go out_. SIGSBY _crosses and goes into the other room_.) + +ANNYS. (_She has let fall the flowers on the table_. _She crosses to +where_ GEOFFREY _still stands by the desk_, _his back towards her_. _She +stretches out her hand_, _touches him_. _He does not move_.) Geoffrey! + + (_But still he takes no notice_.) + +I am so sorry. We must talk it over quietly—at home. + +GEOFFREY. (_He turns_.) Home! I have no home. I have neither children +nor wife. I _keep_ a political opponent. + + (ANNYS _starts back with a cry_. _He crosses in front of her and seats + himself at the table_. _The flowers are lying there_; _he throws them + into the waste-paper basket_.) + +ANNYS. (_She puts on her cloak_, _moves towards the door_. _Half-way +she pauses_, _makes a movement towards him_. _But he will not see_. +_Then a hard look comes into her eyes_, _and without another word she +goes out_, _leaving the door open_.) + + (SIGSBY _is heard moving in the other room_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_He is writing_.) Sigsby. + +SIGSBY. Hallo! + +GEOFFREY. That poster I told young Gordon I wouldn’t sanction, “The +Woman spouting politics, the Man returning to a slattern’s home.” + + (SIGSBY _enters_.) + +SIGSBY. I have countermanded them. + +GEOFFREY. Countermand them again. We shall want a thousand. + +SIGSBY. (_Can hardly believe his ears_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_With a gesture round the room_.) All of them. “A Man for +Men!” “Save the Children!” “Guard your Homes!” All the damned +collection. Order as many as you want. + +SIGSBY. (_His excitement rising_.) I can go ahead. You mean it? + +GEOFFREY. (_He looks at him_.) It’s got to be a fight! (_A moment_. +_He returns to his writing_.) Telephone Hake that I shall be dining at +the Reform Club. + + CURTAIN. + + + + +THE THIRD ACT + + +SCENE:—_A room in the Town Hall_, _Poplar_. _A high_, _bare_, _cold +room_, _unfurnished except for cane-bottomed chairs ranged against the +walls_. _French windows right give on to a balcony overlooking the +street_. _Door in back opens upon a stone passage_. _A larger door +opens into another room_, _through which one passes to reach the room in +which the counting of the votes is taking place_. _A fire burns_—_or +rather tries to burn_. _The room is lighted from the centre of the +ceiling by an electric sun_. _A row of hat-pegs is on the wall between +the two doors_. _The time is about_ 9 _p.m._ + +(_People entering from the street wear coats or cloaks_, _&c._, _the +season being early spring_. _If passing through or staying in the room_, +_they take off their outdoor things and hang them up_, _putting them on +again before going out_.) + +(JAWBONES _is coaxing the reluctant fire by using a newspaper as a +blower_. _He curses steadily under his breath_. _The door opens_. +GINGER _enters_; _she is dressed in cheap furs_.) + +JAWBONES. Shut the door, can’t yer! + +GINGER. Don’t yer want a draught? + +JAWBONES. No, I don’t. Not any more than I’ve got. + +GINGER. (_She shuts the door_.) ’Ave they begun counting the votes? + +JAWBONES. Been at it for the last three-quarters of an hour. + +GINGER. Who’s going to win? + +JAWBONES. One of ’em. + + (LADY MOGTON _has entered_. _She has come from the room where they are + counting the votes_.) + +Shut that door! (_He glances over his shoulder_, _sees his mistake_.) +Beg pardon! (_To himself_.) Thought ’twas the other fool! + +LADY MOGTON. (_She shuts the door_. _To_ GINGER.) Have you seen Mrs. +Chilvers? + +GINGER. Not since the afternoon, your ladyship. + +LADY MOGTON. She is coming, I suppose? + +GINGER. I think so, your ladyship. + +LADY MOGTON. It’s very cold in here, Gordon. + +JAWBONES. Yes, my lady. Not what I call a cosy room. + +LADY MOGTON. (_To_ GINGER.) Jump into a cab. See if you can find her. +Perhaps she has been detained at one of the committee-rooms. Tell her +she ought to be here. + +GINGER. Yes, your ladyship. (_She crosses_, _opens door_.) + +JAWBONES. Shut the door. + +GINGER. Oh, shut— + + (_She finds herself face to face with a_ MESSENGER _carrying a + ballot-box_.) + +I beg yer pardon! (_She goes out_, _closes door_.) + +LADY MOGTON. (_To the_ MESSENGER.) Is that the last? + +MESSENGER. Generally is. Isle of Dogs! + + (_He goes into the other room_.) + +LADY MOGTON. (_To_ JAWBONES.) Do you know where Mr. Chilvers is? + + (_There comes a bloodthirsty yell from the crowd outside_.) + +JAWBONES. Not unless that’s ’im. (_He finishes for the time being with +the fire_. _Rises_.) + + (JANET _enters_.) + +LADY MOGTON. Was that you they were yelling at? + +JANET. No, it’s Mr. Sigsby. + +(_Another yell is heard_. _Out of it a shrill female voice_—“_Mind ’is +fice_; _yer spoiling it_!”) + +The Woman’s Laundry Union have taken such a strong dislike to him. + + (_A final yell_. _Then a voice_: “_That’s taken some of the starch out + of him_!” _followed by a shriek of laughter_.) + +JAWBONES. ’E only suggested as ’ow there was enough old washerwomen in +Parliament as it was. + +LADY MOGTON. A most unnecessary remark. It will teach him— + + (SIGSBY _enters_, _damaged_. _His appearance is comic_. LADY MOGTON + _makes no effort to repress a grim smile_.) + +SIGSBY. Funny, ain’t it? + +LADY MOGTON. I am sorry. + +SIGSBY. (_He snarls_.) “The Mother’s Hand shall Help Us!” One of your +posters, I think. + +LADY MOGTON. You shouldn’t have insulted them—calling them old +washerwomen! + +SIGSBY. Insult! Can’t one indulge in a harmless _jeu d’esprit_—(_he +pronounces it according to his own ideas_)—without having one’s clothes +torn off one’s back? (_Fiercely_.) What do you mean by it—disgracing +your sex? + +LADY MOGTON. Are you addressing me? + +SIGSBY. All of you. Upsetting the foundations upon which society has +been reared—the natural and lawful subjection of the woman to the man. +Why don’t you read St. Paul? + +LADY MOGTON. St. Paul was addressing Christians. When men behave like +Christians there will be no need of Votes for Women. You read St. Paul +on men. (_To_ JANET.) I shall want you! + + (_She goes out_, _followed by_ JANET.) + + (SIGSBY _gives vent to a gesture_.) + +JAWBONES. Getting saucy, ain’t they? + +SIGSBY. Over-indulgence. That’s what the modern woman is suffering +from. Gets an idea on Monday that she’d like the whole world altered; if +it isn’t done by Saturday, raises hell! Where’s the guv’nor? + +JAWBONES. Hasn’t been here. + +SIGSBY. (_Hands_ JAWBONES _his damaged hat_.) See if they can do +anything to that. If not, get me a new one. (_He forks out a +sovereign_.) Sure to be some shops open in the High Street. + + (LAMB _and_ ST. HERBERT _enter_.) + +LAMB. Hallo! have they been mauling you? + +SIGSBY. (_He snatches the damaged hat from_ JAWBONES, _to hand it back +the next moment_; _holds it out_.) Woman’s contribution to politics. +Get me a collar at the same time—sixteen and a half. + + (JAWBONES _takes his cap and goes out_. _The men hang up their + overcoats_.) + +SIGSBY. Where’s it all going to end? That’s what I want to know! + +ST. HERBERT. Where most things end. In the millennium, according to its +advocates. In the ruin of the country, according to its opponents. In +mild surprise on the part of the next generation that ever there was any +fuss about it. + +SIGSBY. In amazement, you mean, that their fathers were so blind as not +to see where it was leading. My boy, this is going to alter the whole +relationship between the sexes! + +ST. HERBERT. Is it so perfect as it is? + + (_A silence_.) + +Might it not be established on a more workable, a more enduring basis if +woman were allowed a share in the shaping of it? + + (_Some woman in the crowd starts the refrain_, “_We’ll hang old Asquith + on a sour apple tree_.” _It is taken up with quiet earnestness by + others_.) + +SIGSBY. Shaping it! Nice sort of shape it will be by the time that lot +(_with a gesture_, _including the crowd_, LADY MOGTON & CO.) have done +knocking it about. Wouldn’t be any next generation to be surprised at +anything if some of them had their way. + +ST. HERBERT. The housebreakers come first—not a class of work demanding +much intelligence; the builders come later. Have you seen Chilvers? + +LAMB. I left him at the House. He couldn’t get away. + +SIGSBY. There’s your object-lesson for you. We don’t need to go far. A +man’s whole career ruined by the wife he nourishes. + +ST. HERBERT. How do you mean, “ruined?” + +SIGSBY. So it is. If she wins the election and claims the seat. Do you +think the Cabinet will want him? Their latest addition compelled to +appeal to the House of Commons to fight for him against his own +womenfolk. (_Grunts_.) He’ll be the laughing-stock of the whole +country. + +ST. HERBERT. Do you know for certain that they mean to claim the seat? + +SIGSBY. “Wait and see” is their answer. + +LAMB. Hasn’t Chilvers any idea? + +SIGSBY. Can’t get him to talk. Don’t think he’s seen her since that +shindy over the Deputation. + +LAMB. Humph! + +SIGSBY. Even if she herself wished to draw back, the others would +overrule her. + +LAMB. I’m not so sure of that. She’s got a way of shutting her mouth +that reminds me of my old woman. + +SIGSBY. The arrangement, as he explained it to me, was that the whole +thing was to end with the polling. It was to have been a mere joke, a +mere _ballon d’essai_. The mistake he made was thinking he could depend +on her. + +LAMB. Guess she made the same mistake. You can fight and shake hands +afterwards; it doesn’t go with kissing. + +SIGSBY. Man and woman were not made to fight. It was never intended. + + (_The woman’s_ “_Marseillaise_” _has been taken up by the crowd_. _The + chorus has been reached_.) + +Oh, damn your row! (_He slams to the window_; _it was ajar_.) + + (JAWBONES _has entered_, _with his purchases_.) + +(_Turning from window he sees_ JAWBONES, _goes to meet him_.) Couldn’t +they do anything? + +JAWBONES. (_He has bought a new hat_; _has also brought back the +remains_. _He shakes his head_.) No good for anything else but a +memento. + +SIGSBY. (_With a grunt he snatches the thing and flings it into a +corner_. _Tries on the new one_.) + +JAWBONES. ’Ow’s it feel? + + (SIGSBY, _with the help of_ JAWBONES, _attends to his appearance_.) + +LAMB. (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) No use talking to her, I suppose? + +ST. HERBERT. (_Shrugs his shoulders_.) She’ll do what she imagines to +be her duty. Women are so uncivilised. + + (_A burst of cheering is heard_. _A shrill male voice_: “_Three cheers + for Winston Churchill_!” _It is followed by an explosion of yells_.) + +ST. HERBERT. Who’s that? + +LAMB. (_He has opened the window_.) Phoebe Mogton! + +SIGSBY. What a family! + + (JANET _has entered_.) + +JANET. Is that Mrs. Chilvers? (_To_ LAMB _and_ ST. HERBERT.) Good +evening. + +ST. HERBERT. Good evening. + +LAMB. No; it’s her sister. + +JANET. I wonder she doesn’t come. + +SIGSBY. What are the latest figures? Do you know? + + (PHOEBE _enters_.) + +JANET. I forget the numbers. Mrs. Chilvers is forty ahead. + +PHOEBE. Forty ahead! (_To_ JANET.) Did you order the band? + +LAMB. (_To_ SIGSBY.) The Dock division was against him to a man; that +Shipping Bill has upset them. + +JANET. No. I didn’t think we should want the band. + +PHOEBE. Not want it! My dear girl— + +JANET. Perhaps Lady Mogton has ordered it, I’ll ask her. + + (_She goes out_.) + +SIGSBY. Hadn’t you better “Wait and see”? It isn’t over yet. + +PHOEBE. We may as well have it! It can play the Dead March in “Saul” if +you win. (_She laughs_.) + +SIGSBY. (_Grunts_. _To_ LAMB.) Are you coming? + + (_He goes out_.) + +LAMB. Yes. (_To_ ST. HERBERT.) Are you coming? + +ST. HERBERT. Hardly worth while; nearly over, isn’t it? + +LAMB. It generally takes an hour and a half. (_He looks at his watch_.) +Another forty minutes. Perhaps less. + + (_He goes out_.) + +PHOEBE. I do love to make him ratty. Wish it wasn’t poor old Geoff we +were fighting. + +ST. HERBERT. When I marry, it will be the womanly woman. + +PHOEBE. No chance for me then? + +ST. HERBERT. I don’t say that. I can see you taking your political +opinions from your husband, and thinking them your own. + +PHOEBE. Good heavens! + +ST. HERBERT. The brainy woman will think for herself. And then I +foresee some lively breakfast tables. + +PHOEBE. Humph! No fear, I suppose, of a man taking his views from his +wife and thinking them his own? + +ST. HERBERT. That may be the solution. The brainy woman will have to +marry the manly man. + + (GINGER _enters_.) + +JAWBONES. (_He is on his knees blowing the fire_. _In a low growl_.) +Shut the door! + +GINGER. Can’t till I’m inside, can I? (_Shuts it_.) Where’s Lady +Mogton? + +JAWBONES. I don’t know. + +PHOEBE. What do you want her for? + +GINGER. Only to tell her that I can’t find Chilvers. + +PHOEBE. Isn’t she here? + +GINGER. Not unless she’s come while I’ve been out. + + (JANET _enters_.) + +JANET. Oh, Lady Mogton— + +PHOEBE. (_Interrupting her_.) Isn’t Annys here? + +JANET. No. (_To_ GINGER.) Haven’t you found her? + +GINGER. (_Shakes her head_.) Been everywhere I could think of. + +PHOEBE. (_To herself_.) She couldn’t have gone home? Is there a +telephone here? + +JANET. The room’s locked up. + +JAWBONES. There’s one at 118, High Street. Shall I go, miss? + +PHOEBE. No, thanks. I’ll go myself. Oh, what about the band? + +JANET. Lady Mogton says she’d like it. If it isn’t too tired. + +GINGER. It’s at Sell’s Coffee-’ouse in Piggott Street. I ’eard them +practising. + +PHOEBE. Good. I shan’t be more than a few minutes. + +ST. HERBERT. I’ll come with you, if I may? I’ve got some news that may +be of use to you. + +PHOEBE. Do. (_To_ GINGER.) Stop here, I may want you. + +(PHOEBE _and_ ST. HERBERT _go out_.) + +JANET. How was Mrs. Chilvers seeming this afternoon? + +GINGER. Never ’eard ’er speak better, miss. + +JANET. Did you stop to the end? + +GINGER. Not quite. Mrs. Spender wanted some shopping done. + + (JANET _goes out_.) + +GINGER. Can I ’elp yer? + +JAWBONES. Yer might hold the piper while I blow. + + (_The fire begins to burn_.) + +GINGER. It’s getting brighter. + +JAWBONES. That’s caught it. + +GINGER. Wonderful what a little coaxing will do. + +JAWBONES. (_He is still squatting on his heels_, _folding up the paper_. +_He looks up_.) Ain’t yer ever thought of that, instead of worrying +about the vote? + +GINGER. (_She moves away_.) You don’t understand us wimmin. + +JAWBONES. (_He has risen_. _He pauses in his folding of the paper_.) +Don’t say that. + +GINGER. Why should we coax yer—for our rights? + +JAWBONES. Because it’s the easiest way of getting ’em. + +GINGER. (_She has become oratorical_.) Our appeal is not to man (_with +upraised hand_) but to Justice! + +JAWBONES. Oh! And what does the lidy say? + +GINGER. (_Descending_.) ’Ow do yer mean? + +JAWBONES. To your appeal. Is she goin’ to give ’em to yer? You tike my +tip: if yer in a ’urry, you get a bit on account—from Man. ’Ere. (_He +dives into his pocket_, _produces_, _wrapped up in tissue paper_, _a +ring_, _which he exhibits to her_.) That’s a bit more in your line. + +GINGER. (_Her eyes sparkle_. _She takes the ring in her hand_. _Then +problems come to her_.) Why do yer want me, William? + +JAWBONES. Because, in spite of all, I love yer. + +GINGER. (_She looks into the future_.) What will I be? A general +servant, without wages. + +JAWBONES. The question, as it seems to me, is, which of us two is the +biggest fool? Instead of thirty bob a week in my pocket to spend as I +like—guess I’ll ’ave to be content with three ’alf-crowns. + +GINGER. Seven an’ six! Rather a lot, Bill, out o’ thirty bob. Don’t +leave much for me an’ the children. + +JAWBONES. I shall ’ave to get my dinners. + +GINGER. I could mike yer somethin’ tasty to tike with yer. Then with, +say—three shillings— + +JAWBONES. ’Ere—(_He is on the point of snatching back the ring_. _He +encounters her eyes_. _There is a moment’s battle_. _The Eternal +Feminine conquers_.) Will yer always look as sweet as yer do now? + +GINGER. Always, Bill. So long as yer good to me! + + (_She slips the ring over her finger_, _still with her eyes drawing + him_. _He catches her to him in fierce passion_, _kisses her_.) + + (_A loud shrill female cheer comes from the crowd_. _The cheer is + renewed and renewed_.) + +JAWBONES. (_He breaks away and goes to the window_.) ’Ullo! What are +they shoutin’ about now? (_He looks out_.) It’s the Donah! + +GINGER. Mrs. Chilvers? + +JAWBONES. Yus. Better not get wearin’ it—may shock their feelings. + +GINGER. (_She gazes rapturously at the ring as she draws it off_.) It +is a beauty! I do love yer, Bill. + + (_There enter_ ANNYS _and_ ELIZABETH. ANNYS _is excited_; _she is + laughing and talking_.) + +ANNYS. (_Laughing while she rearranges her hat and hair_.) A little +embarrassing. That red-haired girl—she carried me right up the steps. I +was afraid she would— + + (JAWBONES _has been quick enough to swing a chair into place just in + time to receive her_.) + +(_She recovers herself_.) Thank you. + +ELIZABETH. (_She hands_ ANNYS _a smelling-bottle_. _To_ JAWBONES.) +Open the window a few inches. + + (_He does so_. _Some woman_, _much interrupted_, _is making a + speech_.) + + (JANET _opens the door a little way and looks in_.) + +JANET. Oh, it is you! I am glad! + + (_She goes out again_.) + +ELIZABETH. Are the others all here? + +GINGER. ’Er ladyship is watching the counting. Miss Phoebe ’as just +gone out— + + (PHOEBE _enters_.) + +Oh, ’ere she is. + +PHOEBE. Hullo! (_She is taking off her things_.) Wherever have you +been? We’ve been scouring the neighbourhood— + + (LADY MOGTON _enters_, _followed by_ JANET.) + +I say, you’re looking jolly chippy. + +ELIZABETH. We had an extra enthusiastic meeting. She spoke for rather a +long time. I made her come home with me and lie down. I think she is +all right now. + +LADY MOGTON. Would you like to see a doctor? + +PHOEBE. There is a very good man close here. (_She turns to_ JAWBONES, +_who is still near the window_.) Gordon— + +ANNYS. (_Interrupting_.) No. Please don’t. I am quite all right. I +hate strange doctors. + +PHOEBE. Well, let me send for Whitby; he could be here in twenty +minutes. + +ANNYS. I wish you would all leave me alone. There’s absolutely nothing +to fuss about whatever. We pampered women—we can’t breathe the same air +that ordinary mortals have to. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. + +PHOEBE. (_To herself_.) Obstinate pig. + + (_She catches_ JAWBONES’ _eye_; _unnoticed by the others_, _she takes + him aside_. _They whisper_.) + +ANNYS. How is it going? + +LADY MOGTON. You must be prepared for winning. (_She puts again the +question that_ ANNYS _has frequently been asked to answer during the last +few days_.) What are you going to do? + + (MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS _enters_, _as usual in a flutter of + excitement_.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. Am I late? + + (_They brush her back into silence_. ELIZABETH _takes charge of her_.) + +ANNYS. (_She has risen_.) You think it wise tactics, to make it +impossible for Geoffrey to be anything else in the future but our enemy? + +LADY MOGTON. (_Contemptuously_.) You are thinking of him, and not of +the cause. + +ANNYS. And if I were! Haven’t I made sacrifice enough?—more than any of +you will ever know. Ay—and would make more, if I felt it was demanded of +me. I don’t! (_Her burst of anger is finished_. _She turns_, +_smiling_.) I’m much more cunning than you think. There will be other +elections we shall want to fight. With the Under-Secretary for Home +Affairs in sympathy with us, the Government will find it difficult to +interfere. Don’t you see how clever I am? + + (JAWBONES, _having received his instructions from_ PHOEBE, _has slipped + out unobserved_. _He has beckoned to_ GINGER; _she has followed him_. + PHOEBE _has joined the group_.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. There’s something in that. + +JANET. Is Mr. Chilvers still in sympathy with us? + +PHOEBE. Of course he is. A bit rubbed up the wrong way just at present; +that’s our fault. When Annys goes down, early next mouth, to fight the +Exchange Division of Manchester, we shall have him with us. + + (_A moment_.) + +LADY MOGTON. Where do you get that from? + +PHOEBE. From St. Herbert. The present member is his cousin. They say +he can’t live more than a week. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. It really seems like Providence. + +ANNYS. (_Has taken the opportunity of giving_ PHOEBE _a grateful squeeze +of the hand_.) + +LADY MOGTON. You will fight Manchester? + +ANNYS. Yes. (_Laughs_.) And make myself a public nuisance if I win. + +LADY MOGTON. Well, must be content with that, I suppose. Better not +come in; the room’s rather crowded. I’ll keep you informed how things +are going. + + (_She goes out_, _followed by_ JANET.) + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. I’ll stay with you, dear. + +PHOEBE. I want you to come and be photographed for the Daily Mirror. +The man’s waiting downstairs. + +ELIZABETH. I’ll stop with Annys. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. I’m not quite sure, you know, that I take well +by flashlight. + +PHOEBE. You wait till you’ve seen mamma! We must have you. They want +you for the centre of the page. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. Well, if it’s really— + +PHOEBE. (_To the others_.) Shall see you again. (_She winks_. _Then +to_ MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS.) We mustn’t keep them waiting. They are +giving us a whole page. + + (PHOEBE _takes_ MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS _out_. ELIZABETH _has followed + to the door_; _she closes it_. ANNYS _has reseated herself_, _facing + the fire_.) + +ELIZABETH. When did you see your husband last? + +ANNYS. Not since—Tuesday, wasn’t it, that we went round to his rooms. +Why? + +ELIZABETH. I’m thinking about Manchester. What was it he said to you? + +ANNYS. Oh, we were, both of us, a little over-excited, I suppose. He +has—(_she hesitates_, _finally answers_)—he has always been so eager for +children. + +ELIZABETH. Yes. So many men are; not having to bear the pain and +inconvenience themselves. + +ANNYS. Oh, well, they have to provide for them when they do come. +That’s fair enough division, I su— (_Suddenly she turns fiercely_.) Why +do you talk like that? As if we women were cowards. Do you think if God +sent me a child I should grudge Him the price! + +ELIZABETH. Do you want Him to? + +ANNYS. I don’t know; prayed Him to, once. + +ELIZABETH. (_She lays her hand upon her_.) It isn’t a few more mothers +that the world has need of. It is the women whom God has appointed—to +whom He has given freedom, that they may champion the cause of the +mothers, helpless by reason of their motherhood. + + (_A moment_. GEOFFREY _enters_.) + +GEOFFREY. Good evening. + +ANNYS. (_Rises_; _a smile struggles for possession_. _But he only +shakes hands_, _and it dies away_.) + +ELIZABETH. Good evening. + + (_They shake hands_.) + +GEOFFREY. You are not interested in the counting? + +ANNYS. The room is rather crowded. Mamma thought I would be better out +here. How have you been? + +GEOFFREY. Oh, all right. It’s going to be a very near thing, they tell +me. + +ANNYS. Yes, I shall be glad when it’s over. + +GEOFFREY. It’s always a trying time. What are you going to do, if you +win? + + (LADY MOGTON _looks in_.) + +LADY MOGTON. (_Seeing_ GEOFFREY.) Oh, good evening. + +GEOFFREY. Good evening. + +LADY MOGTON. Chilvers, 2,960—Annys Chilvers, 2,874. + + (_She disappears—closes door_.) + +ANNYS. Perhaps I’m not going to win. (_She goes to him_, _smiling_.) I +hope you’ll win. I would so much rather you won. + +GEOFFREY. Very kind of you. I’m afraid that won’t make it a certainty. + +ANNYS. (_His answer has hardened her again_.) How can I? It would not +be fair. Without your consent I should never have entered upon it. It +was understood that the seat, in any case, would be yours. + +GEOFFREY. I would rather you considered yourself quite free. In warfare +it doesn’t pay to be “fair” to one’s enemy. + +ANNYS. (_Still hardening_.) Besides, there is no need. There will be +other opportunities. I can contest some other constituency. If I win, +claim the seat for that. + + (_A moment_.) + +GEOFFREY. So this is only the beginning? You have decided to devote +yourself to a political career? + +ANNYS. Why not? + +GEOFFREY. If I were to ask you to abandon it, to come back to your place +at my side—helping me, strengthening me? + +ANNYS. You mean you would have me abandon my own task—merge myself in +you? + +GEOFFREY. Be my wife. + +ANNYS. It would not be right. I, too, have my work. + +GEOFFREY. If it takes you away from me? + +ANNYS. Why need it take me away from you? Why cannot we work together +for common ends, each in our own way? + +GEOFFREY. We talked like that before we tried it. Marriage is not a +partnership; it is a leadership. + +ANNYS. (_She looks at him_.) You mean—an ownership. + +GEOFFREY. Perhaps you’re right. I didn’t make it. I’m only—beginning +to understand it. + +ANNYS. And I too. It is not what I want. + +GEOFFREY. You mean its duties have become irksome to you. + +ANNYS. I mean I want to be the judge myself of what are my duties. + +GEOFFREY. I no longer count. You will go your way without me? + +ANNYS. I must go the way I think right. + +GEOFFREY. (_He flings away_.) If you win to-night you will do well to +make the most of it. Take my advice and claim the seat. + +ANNYS. (_Looks at him puzzled_.) + +ELIZABETH. Why? + +GEOFFREY. Because (_with a short_, _ugly laugh_) the Lord only knows +when you’ll get another opportunity. + +ELIZABETH. You are going to stop us? + +GEOFFREY. To stop women from going to the poll. The Bill will be +introduced on Monday. Carried through all its stages the same week. + +ELIZABETH. You think it will pass? + +GEOFFREY. The Whips assure me that it will. + +ANNYS. But they cannot, they dare not, without your assent. The— (_The +light breaks in upon her_.) Who is bringing it in? + +GEOFFREY. I am. + +ANNYS. (_Is going to speak_.) + +GEOFFREY. (_He stops her_.) Oh, I’m prepared for all that—ridicule, +abuse. “Chilvers’s Bill for the Better Regulation of Mrs. Chilvers,” +they’ll call it. I can hear their laughter. Yours won’t be among it. + +ANNYS. But, Geoffrey! What is the meaning? Merely to spite me, are you +going to betray a cause that you have professed belief in—that you have +fought for? + +GEOFFREY. Yes—if it is going to take you away from me. I want you. No, +I don’t want a friend—“a fellow-worker”—some interesting rival in well +doing. I can get all that outside my home. I want a wife. I want the +woman I love to belong to me—to be mine. I am not troubling about being +up to date; I’m talking what I feel—what every male creature must have +felt since the protoplasmic cell developed instincts. I want a woman to +love—a woman to work for—a woman to fight for—a woman to be a slave to. +But mine—mine, and nothing else. All the rest (_he makes a gesture_) is +talk. + + (_He closes the window_, _shutting out the hubbub of the crowd_.) + +ANNYS. (_A strange_, _new light has stolen in_. _She is bewildered_, +_groping_.) But—all this is new between us. You have not talked like +this for—not since— We were just good friends—comrades. + +GEOFFREY. And might have remained so, God knows! I suppose we’re made +like that. So long as there was no danger passion slept. I cannot +explain it. I only know that now, beside the thought of losing you, all +else in the world seems meaningless. The Woman’s Movement! (_He makes a +gesture of contempt_.) Men have wrecked kingdoms for a woman before +now—and will again. I want you! (_He comes to her_.) Won’t you come +back to me, that we may build up the home we used to dream of? Wasn’t +the old love good? What has this new love to give you? Work that man +can do better. The cause of the women—the children! Has woman loved +woman better than man? Will the world be better for the children, man +and woman contending? Come back to me. Help me. Help me to fight for +all good women. Teach me how I may make the world better—for our +children. + +ANNYS. (_The light is in her eyes_. _She stands a moment_. _Her hands +are going out to him_.) + +ELIZABETH. (_She comes between them_.) Yes, go to him. He will be very +good to you. Good men are kind to women, kind even to their dogs. You +will be among the pampered few! You will be happy. And the others! +What does it matter? + + (_They draw apart_. _She stands between them_, _the incarnation of the + spirit of sex war_.) + +The women that have not kind owners—the dogs that have not kind +masters—the dumb women, chained to their endless, unpaid drudgery! Let +them be content. What are they but man’s chattel? To be honoured if it +pleases him, or to be cast into the dust. Man’s pauper! Bound by his +laws, subject to his whim; her every hope, her every aspiration, owed to +his charity. She toils for him without ceasing: it should be her +“pleasure.” She bears him children, when he chooses to desire them. +They are his to do as he will by. Why seek to change it? Our man is +kind. What have they to do with us: the women beaten, driven, +overtasked—the women without hope or joy, the livers of grey lives that +men may laugh and spend—the women degraded lower than the beasts to +pander to the beast in man—the women outraged and abandoned, bearing to +the grave the burden of man’s lust? Let them go their way. They are but +our sisters of sorrow. And we who could help them—we to whom God has +given the weapons: the brain, and the courage—we make answer: “I have +married a husband, and I cannot come.” + + (_A silence_.) + +GEOFFREY. Well, you have heard. (_He makes a gesture_.) What is your +answer? + +ANNYS. (_She comes to him_.) Don’t you love me enough to humour me a +little—to put up with my vexing ways? I so want to help, to feel I am +doing just a little, to make the world kinder. I know you can do it +better, but I want so to be “in it.” (_She laughs_.) Let us forget all +this. Wake up to-morrow morning with fresh hearts. You will be Member +for East Poplar. And then you shall help me to win Manchester. (_She +puts her hands upon his breast_: _she would have him take her in his +arms_.) I am not strong enough to fight alone. + +GEOFFREY. I want you. Let Manchester find some one else. + +ANNYS. (_She draws away from him_.) And if I cannot—will not? + +GEOFFREY. I bring in my Bill on Monday. We’ll be quite frank about it. +That is my price—you. I want you! + +ANNYS. You mean it comes to that: a whole cause dependent on a man and a +woman! + +GEOFFREY. Yes, that is how the world is built. On each man and woman. +“How does it shape my life, my hopes?” So will each make answer. + + (LADY MOGTON _enters_. _She stands silent_.) + +ELIZABETH. Is it over? + +LADY MOGTON. Annys Chilvers, 3,604—Geoffrey Chilvers, 3,590. + + (JANET _enters_.) + +JANET. (_She rushes to_ ANNYS, _embraces her_.) You’ve won, you’ve won! +(_She flies to the window_, _opens it_, _and goes out on to the +balcony_.) + + (PHOEBE _enters_, _followed by_ MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS.) + +PHOEBE. Is it true? + +LADY MOGTON. Pretty close. Majority of 14. + +MRS. MOUNTCALM-VILLIERS. For us? + +LADY MOGTON. For us. + + (JANET _by this time has announced the figures_. _There is heard a + great burst of cheering_, _renewed again and again_.) + +JANET. (_Re-entering_.) They want you! They want you! + + (_Mingled with the cheering come cries of_ “_Speech_! _Speech_!”) + +LADY MOGTON. You must say something. + + (_The band strikes up_ “_The Conquering Hero_.” _The women crowd + round_ ANNYS, _congratulating her_. GEOFFREY _stands apart_.) + +PHOEBE. (_Screaming above the din_.) Put on your cloak. + +JANET. (_Rushes and gets it_.) + + (_They wrap it round her_.) + + (ANNYS _goes out on to the balcony_, _followed by the other women_. + ELIZABETH, _going last_, _fires a parting smile of triumph at_ + GEOFFREY.) + + (_A renewed burst of cheering announces their arrival on the balcony_. + _The crowd bursts into_ “_For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow_”—_the band_, + _making a quick change_, _joins in_. GEOFFREY _remains centre_.) + + (JAWBONES _enters unobserved_. _The singing ends with three cheers_. + ANNYS _is speaking_. GEOFFREY _turns and sees_ JAWBONES.) + +GEOFFREY. (_With a smile_.) Give me down my coat, will you? + +JAWBONES. (_He is sympathetic_. _He helps him on with it_.) Shall I +get you a cab, sir? + +GEOFFREY. No, thanks. I’ll pick one up. (_He goes towards the door_, +_then stops_.) Is there any other way out—not through the main entrance? + +JAWBONES. Yes, sir. There’s a side door opening on Woodstock Road. +I’ll show it you. + +GEOFFREY. Thanks. (_He follows_ JAWBONES _out_.) + + (_A burst of cheering comes from the crowd_.) + + CURTAIN. + + + + +THE FOURTH ACT + + +SCENE:—_Russell Square_. _The morning-room_ (_on the ground floor_). _A +small_, _cheerful room_, _furnished in Chippendale_, _white panelled_, +_with Adams fireplace in which a bright fire is burning_. _Two deep +easy-chairs are before the fire_. _The window-curtains of red damask are +drawn_. _An oval table occupies the centre of the room_. _The door at +back opens upon the hall_. _Only one light burns_, _an electric lamp on +a table just above the fire_. + + TIME:—_Midnight_. + +(_The door opens_. GEOFFREY _enters_. _He has left his out-door things +in the hall_. _He crosses and rings the bell_. _A moment_.) + + (HAKE _enters_.) + +GEOFFREY. Oh, you, Hake! There wasn’t any need for you to have stopped. + +HAKE. I was not sure of your arrangements. I thought perhaps I might be +wanted. + +GEOFFREY. Sorry. I ought to have told you. + +HAKE. It’s been no inconvenience, sir. I told Mrs. Hake not to sit up. + +GEOFFREY. (_He is opening and reading his letters left for him on the +table_.) Does she generally sit up for you? + +HAKE. As a rule, sir. We like a little chat before going to bed. + +GEOFFREY. (_His eyes on a letter_.) What do you find to chat about? + +HAKE. Oh, there is so much for a husband and wife to talk about. The— +As a rule. + + (_A clock on the mantelpiece strikes one_.) + +GEOFFREY. What’s that? + +HAKE. Quarter past twelve, sir. + +GEOFFREY. Has your mistress come in? + +HAKE. Not yet, sir. Has the election gone all right, sir? + +GEOFFREY. For Mrs. Chilvers, yes. She is now member for East Poplar. + +HAKE. I am sorry. It has been a great surprise to me. + +GEOFFREY. The result? + +HAKE. The whole thing, sir. Such a sweet lady, we all thought her. + +GEOFFREY. Life, Hake, is a surprising affair. + + (_A ring is heard_.) + +I expect that’s she. She has forgotten her key. + + (HAKE _goes out_.) + + (GEOFFREY _continues his letters_. _A few moments pass_; HAKE + _re-enters_, _closes the door_.) + +HAKE. (_He seems puzzled_.) It’s a lady, sir + + (GEOFFREY _turns_.) + +HAKE. At least—hardly a lady. A Mrs. Chinn. + +GEOFFREY. Mrs. Chinn! (_He glances at his watch_.) At twelve o’clock +at night. Well, all right. I’ll see her. + + (HAKE _opens the door_, _speaks to_ MRS. CHINN. _She enters_, _in + bonnet and shawl_.) + +HAKE. Mrs. Chinn. + +GEOFFREY. Good evening, Mrs. Chinn. + +MRS. CHINN. Good evening, sir. + +GEOFFREY. You needn’t stop, Hake. I shan’t be wanting anything. + +HAKE. Thank you. + +GEOFFREY. Apologise for me to Mrs. Hake. Good-night. + +HAKE. Good-night, sir. + + (HAKE _goes out_. _A minute later the front door is heard to slam_.) + +GEOFFREY. Won’t you sit down? (_He puts a chair for her left of the +table_.) + +MRS. CHINN. (_Seating herself_.) Thank you, sir. + +GEOFFREY. (_He half sits on the arm of the easy-chair below the fire_.) +What’s the trouble? + +MRS. CHINN. It’s my boy, sir—my youngest. He’s been taking money that +didn’t belong to him. + +GEOFFREY. Um. Has it been going on for long? + +MRS. CHINN. About six months, sir. I only heard of it to-night. You +see, his wife died a year ago. She was such a good manager. And after +she was gone he seems to have got into debt. + +GEOFFREY. What were his wages? + +MRS. CHINN. Nineteen shillings a week, sir. And that with the rent and +three young children—well, it wants thinking out. + +GEOFFREY. From whom did he take the money—his employers? + +MRS. CHINN. Yes, sir. He was the carman. They had always trusted him +to collect the accounts. + +GEOFFREY. How much, would you say, was the defalcation? + +MRS. CHINN. I beg pardon, sir. + +GEOFFREY. How much does it amount to, the sums that he has taken? + +MRS. CHINN. Six pounds, sir, Mr. Cohen says it comes to. + +GEOFFREY. Won’t they accept repayment? + +MRS. CHINN. Yes, sir. Mr. Cohen has been very nice about it. He is +going to let me pay it off by instalments. + +GEOFFREY. Well, then, that gets over most of the trouble. + +MRS. CHINN. Well, you see, sir, unfortunately, Mr. Cohen gave +information to the police the moment he discovered it. + +GEOFFREY. Umph! Can’t he say he made a mistake? + +MRS. CHINN. They say it must go for trial, sir. That he can only +withdraw the charge in court. + +GEOFFREY. Um! + +MRS. CHINN. You see, sir—a thing like that—(_She recovers herself_.) It +clings to a lad. + +GEOFFREY. What do you want me to do? + +MRS. CHINN. Well, sir, I thought that, perhaps—you see, sir, he has got +a brother in Canada who would help him; and I thought that if I could +ship him off— + +GEOFFREY. You want me to tip the wink to the police to look the other +way while you smuggle this young malefactor out of the clutches of the +law? + +MRS. CHINN. (_Quite indifferent to the moral aspect of the case_.) If +you would be so kind, sir. + +GEOFFREY. Umph! I suppose you know what you’re doing; appealing through +your womanhood to man’s weakness—employing “backstairs influence” to gain +your private ends, indifferent to the higher issues of the public weal? +All the things that are going to cease when woman has the vote. + +MRS. CHINN. You see, sir, he’s the youngest. + + (_Gradually the decent but dingy figure of_ MRS. CHINN _has taken to + itself new shape_. _To_ GEOFFREY, _it almost seems as though there + were growing out of the shadows over against him the figure of great + Artemis herself—Artemis of the Thousand Breasts_. _He had returned + home angry_, _bitter against all women_. _As she unfolds her simple + tale understanding comes to him_. _So long as there are_ “_Mrs. + Chinns_” _in the world_, _Woman claims homage_.) + +GEOFFREY. How many were there? + +MRS. CHINN. Ten altogether, six living. + +GEOFFREY. Been a bit of a struggle for you, hasn’t it? + +MRS. CHINN. It has been a bit difficult, at times; especially after +their poor father died. + +GEOFFREY. How many were you left with? + +MRS. CHINN. Eight, sir. + +GEOFFREY. How on earth did you manage to keep them? + +MRS. CHINN. Well, you see, sir, the two eldest, they were earning a +little. I don’t think I could have done it without that. + +GEOFFREY. Wasn’t there any source from which you could have obtained +help? What was your husband? + +MRS. CHINN. He worked in the shipyards, sir. There was some talk about +it. But, of course, that always means taking the children away from you. + +GEOFFREY. Would not that have been better for them? + +MRS. CHINN. Not always, sir. Of course, if I hadn’t been able to do my +duty by them I should have had to. But, thank God, I’ve always been +strong. + +GEOFFREY. (_He rises_.) I will see what can be done. + +MRS. CHINN. Thank you, sir. + +GEOFFREY. (_Half-way_, _he turns_.) When does the next boat sail—for +Canada? + +MRS. CHINN. To-morrow night, sir, from Glasgow. I have booked his +passage. + +GEOFFREY. (_With a smile_.) You seem to have taken everything for +granted. + +MRS. CHINN. You see, sir, it’s the disgrace. All the others are doing +so well. It would upset them so. + + (_He goes out_.) + + (_There is a moment_.) + + (ANNYS _enters_. _She is wearing her outdoor things_.) + +ANNYS. Mrs. Chinn! + +MRS. CHINN. (_She has risen_; _she curtseys_.) Good evening, ma’am. + +ANNYS. (_She is taking off her hat_.) Nothing wrong, is there? + +MRS. CHINN. My boy, ma’am, my youngest, has been getting into trouble. + +ANNYS. (_She pauses_, _her hat in her hand_.) They will, won’t they? +It’s nothing serious, I hope? + +MRS. CHINN. I think it will be all right, ma’am, thanks to your good +gentleman. + +ANNYS. (_She lays aside her hat_.) You have had a good many children, +haven’t you, Mrs. Chinn? + +MRS. CHINN. Ten altogether, ma’am; six living. + +ANNYS. Can one love ten, all at once? + + (_The cloak has fallen aside_. MRS. CHINN _is a much experienced + lady_.) + +MRS. CHINN. Just as many as come, dear. God sends the love with them. + + (_There is a moment_; _the two women are very close to one another_. + _Then_ ANNYS _gives a little cry and somehow their arms are round one + another_.) + + (_She mothers her into the easy chair above the fire_; _places a + footstool under her feet_.) You have your cry out, dearie, it will do + you good. + +ANNYS. You look so strong and great. + +MRS. CHINN. It’s the tears, dearie. (_She arranges the foot-stool_.) +You keep your feet up. + + (_The handle of the door is heard_. MRS. CHINN _is standing beside her + own chair_. _She is putting back her handkerchief into her bag_.) + + (GEOFFREY _re-enters_.) + + (ANNYS _is hidden in the easy chair_. _He does not see her_.) + +GEOFFREY. Well, Mrs. Chinn, an exhaustive search for the accused will be +commenced—next week. + +MRS. CHINN. Thank you, sir. + +GEOFFREY. What about the children—are they going with him? + +MRS. CHINN. No, sir; I thought he would be better without them till +everything is settled. + +GEOFFREY. Who is taking care of them—you? + +MRS. CHINN. Yes, sir. + +GEOFFREY. And the passage money—how much was that? + +MRS. CHINN. Four pound fifteen. + +GEOFFREY. Would you mind my coming in, as a friend? + +MRS. CHINN. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not. I’ve always done +everything for the children myself. It’s been a fad of mine. + +GEOFFREY. (_He makes a gesture of despair_.) You mothers! You’re so +greedy. (_He holds out his hand_, _smiling_.) Goodbye. + +MRS. CHINN. (_She takes his hand in hers_.) God bless you, sir. And +your good lady. + +GEOFFREY. (_As he takes her to the door_.) How will you get home? + +MRS. CHINN. I can get the Underground from Gower Street, sir. + + (_They go out talking about last trains and leaving the door open_. + _The next moment the front door is heard to slam_.) + + (GEOFFREY _re-enters_.) + + (ANNYS _has moved round_, _so that coming back into the room he finds + her there_.) + +GEOFFREY. How long have you been in? + + (_He closes the door_.) + +ANNYS. Only a few minutes—while you were at the telephone. I had to +rest for a little while. Dr. Whitby brought me back in his motor. + +GEOFFREY. Was he down there? + +ANNYS. Phoebe had sent for him. I had been taken a little giddy earlier +in the day. + +GEOFFREY. (_He grunts_. _He is fighting with his tenderness_.) Don’t +wonder at it. All this overwork and excitement. + +ANNYS. I’m afraid I’ve been hurting you. + +GEOFFREY. (_Still growling_.) Both been hurting each other, I expect. + +ANNYS. (_She smiles_.) It’s so easy to hurt those that love us. + + (_She makes a little movement_, _feebly stretches out her arms to him_. + _Wondering_, _he comes across to her_. _She draws him down beside + her_, _takes his arms and places them about her_.) I want to feel that + I belong to you. That you are strong. That I can rest upon you. + +GEOFFREY. (_He cannot understand_.) But only an hour ago—(_He looks at +her_.) Have you, too, turned traitor to the Woman’s Cause? + +ANNYS. (_She answers smiling_.) No. But woman, dear, is a much more +complicated person than I thought her. It is only in this hour that God +has revealed her to me. (_She draws him closer_.) I want you, dear—dear +husband. Take care of us—both, won’t you? I love you, I love you. I +did not know how much. + +GEOFFREY. (_He gathers her to him_, _kissing her_, _crooning over her_.) +Oh, my dear, my dear! My little one, my love, my wife! + +ANNYS. (_She is laughing_, _crying_.) But, Geoffrey, dear— + + (_He tries to calm her_.) + +No, let me. I want to— And then I’ll be quite good, I promise— It’s +only fair to warn you. When I’m strong and can think again, I shall +still want the vote. I shall want it more than ever. + +GEOFFREY. (_He answers with a happy laugh_, _holding her in his arms_.) + +ANNYS. You will help us? Because it’s right, dear, isn’t it? He will +be my child as well as yours. You will let me help you make the world +better for our child—and for all the children—and for all the mothers—and +for all the dear, kind men: you will, won’t you? + +GEOFFREY. I thought you were drifting away from me: that strange voices +were calling you away from life and motherhood. God has laughed at my +fears. He has sent you back to me with His command. We will fashion His +world together, we two lovers, Man and Woman, joined together in all +things. It is His will. His chains are the children’s hands. + + (_Kneeling_, _he holds her in his arms_.) + + (THE CURTAIN FALLS.) + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MASTER OF MRS. CHILVERS*** + + +******* This file should be named 2195-0.txt or 2195-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/1/9/2195 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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