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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The 'Mind the Paint' Girl + A Comedy in Four Acts + +Author: Arthur Pinero + +Release Date: June 18, 2007 [EBook #21849] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE 'MIND THE PAINT' GIRL *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, Branko Collin and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class = "mynote"> +<p> +This text uses utf-8 (unicode) file encoding. If the apostrophes and +quotation marks in this paragraph appear as garbage, you may have an +incompatible browser or unavailable fonts. First, make sure that the +browser’s “character set” or “file encoding” is set to Unicode (UTF-8). +You may also need to change your browser’s default font.</p> + +<p>The published play did not include music for the title song ("Mind +the Paint"), sung in Act I.</p> + +<p> +A few typographical errors have been corrected. They have been +marked in the text with <ins class = "correction" title = +"like this">mouse-hover popups</ins>. +</p> +</div> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/frontcover.png" width = "338" height = "499" +alt = "book cover showing title and two faces"> +</p> + +<div class = "titlepage"> <!-- for MSIE --> + +<table summary = "formatted text"> +<tr><td><h1 class = "title left">THE</h1> +<h1 class = "title">“ MIND THE PAINT ”</h1> +<h1 class = "title right">GIRL</h1> +</td></tr> +</table> + +</div> + +<div class = "contents"> + +<h5>Contents<br> +(<i>added by transcriber</i>)</h5> + +<p><a href = "#act1">First Act</a>: +<i>Lily Parradell’s drawing room</i></p> +<p><a href = "#act2">Second Act</a>: +<i>refreshment-saloon of Pandora Theatre</i></p> +<p><a href = "#act2b">Second Act</a> (after curtain): +<i>the same, later</i></p> +<p><a href = "#act3">Third Act</a>: +<i>Lily Parradell’s boudoir</i><br> +<a href = "#song">Song:</a> “If you would only love me”</p> +<p><a href = "#act4">Fourth Act</a>: +<i>the same, later</i></p> + +</div> + +<div class = "center"> + +<h4 class = "extended"><a name = "list" id = "list"> +<i>THE PLAYS OF ARTHUR W. PINERO</i></a></h4> + +<h6>Paper cover, 1s 6d; cloth, 2s 6d each</h6> + +<table class = "list" summary = "list of plays"> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE TIMES</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE PROFLIGATE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE CABINET MINISTER</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE HOBBY-HORSE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>LADY BOUNTIFUL</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE MAGISTRATE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>DANDY DICK</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>SWEET LAVENDER</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE SCHOOLMISTRESS</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE WEAKER SEX</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE AMAZONS</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "plaintext">*</td> +<td><p>THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE PRINCESS AND THE BUTTERFLY</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>TRELAWNY OF THE “WELLS”</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "plaintext">†</td> +<td><p>THE GAY LORD QUEX</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>IRIS</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>LETTY</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>HIS HOUSE IN ORDER</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>THE THUNDERBOLT</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>MID-CHANNEL</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>PRESERVING MR. PANMURE</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td><p>THE “MIND THE PAINT” GIRL</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "plaintext" colspan = "2"> +<p>* This Play can be had in library form, 4to, cloth,<br> +with a portrait, 5s.</p> + +<p>† A Limited Edition of this play on hand-made paper,<br> +with a new portrait, 10s net.</p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<table summary = "formatted text"> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<h5>THE PINERO BIRTHDAY BOOK</h5> + +<h6><span class = "smallcaps">Selected and Arranged by MYRA +HAMILTON</span><br> +With a Portrait, cloth extra, price 2s 6d.</h6> + +<hr class = "small"> + +<h5 class = "ital">LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN</h5> +</td></tr> +</table> + +</div> <!-- end div center --> + + + +<div class = "titlepage"> <!-- for MSIE --> + +<table summary = "formatted text"> +<tr> +<td> +<h1 class = "title">THE</h1> +<h1 class = "title"> “ MIND THE PAINT ” + </h1> +<h1 class = "title right">GIRL</h1> +</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> +<h5 class = "title">A COMEDY</h5> + +<h6 class = "title">In Four Acts</h6> + +<h4 class = "title">By ARTHUR PINERO</h4> +</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td><p> </p></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> +<p class = "extended"><i>LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN</i></p> + +<p class = "inset smaller"><i>MCMXIII</i></p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +</div> + +<div class = "null"> + +<p class = "smaller"> +<i>Copyright 1912<br> +by Arthur Pinero</i></p> + +</div> + +<div class = "null"> + +<p class = "inset"> +<i>This play was produced in London, at the Duke of York’s Theatre, on +Saturday, February </i>17, 1912<i>; in New York, at the New Lyceum +Theatre, on Monday, September </i>9, 1912<i>; and in Germany, at the +Stadttheater in Mainz, on Monday, January </i>13, 1913</p> + +</div> + +<div class = "null"> + +<h4 class = "ital"><a name = "cast" id = "cast"> +THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY</a></h4> + +<table summary = "cast of characters"> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Viscount Farncombe</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Colonel the Hon. Arthur +Stidulph</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Baron von Rettenmayer</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Captain Nicholas Jeyes</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Lionel Roper</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Sam de Castro</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Herbert Fulkerson</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Stewart Heneage</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Gerald Grimwood</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Carlton Smythe</span> (<i>Manager of the +Pandora Theatre</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td width = "50%"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Douglas Glynn</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Albert Palk</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Wilfrid +Tavish</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Sigismund +Shirley</span></p> +</td> +<td class = "bracket small"> +(<i>Actors at the Pandora</i>) +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Vincent Bland</span> (<i>A Musical +Composer, attached to the Pandora</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Morris Cooling</span> (<i>Business Manager +at the Pandora</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> (<i>Maître d’hôtel at Catani’s +Restaurant</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps" colspan = "2">Waiters</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p> </p> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">The Hon. Mrs. Arthur Stidulph</span> +(<i>Formerly, as Dolly Ensor, of the Pandora Theatre</i>)</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Lily Parradell</td> +<td class = "bracket tall" rowspan = "10"> +(<i>Of the Pandora</i>) +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Jimmie Birch</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle Kato</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Enid Moncrieff</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Daphne Dure</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Nita Trevenna</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Flo Connify</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Sybil Dermott</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Olga Cook</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps">Evangeline Ventris</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> (<span class = +"smallcaps">Lily Parradell’s</span> <i>mother</i>)</p></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> (<span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> <i>parlourmaid</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p><span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> (<span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> <i>maid</i>)</p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p><i>The action of the piece takes place in London—at <span class += "smallcaps">Lily Parradell’s</span> house in Bloomsbury, in the foyer +of the Pandora Theatre, and again at <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> house.</i></p> + +<p><i>The curtain will be lowered for a few moments in the course of the +Second Act.</i></p> + +</div> + +<div class = "null"> + +<p class = "border"> +<i>The following advertisements are to appear conspicuously in the +programme.</i></p> + +<p class = "border"> +MIND THE PAINT (the complete song), words by D’Arcy Wingate, music by +Vincent Bland, as originally sung by Miss <span class = "smallcaps">Lily +Parradell</span> at the Pandora Theatre in the Musical Play of “<span +class = "smallcaps">The Duchess of Brixton</span>,” may be obtained from +Messrs. Church and Co. (Ltd.), Music Publishers, 181 New Bond +Street.</p> + +<p class = "border"> +<span class = "smallcaps">After the Theatre. Catani’s Restaurant</span>, +459 Strand. Best <i>cuisine</i> in London. Milanese Band. Private Rooms. +Urbano Catani, Sole Proprietor. Tel.: 10,337 Gerrard.</p> + +</div> + + +<span class = "pagenum">1</span> +<h2><a name = "play" id = "play">THE “MIND THE PAINT”<br> +GIRL</a></h2> + +<h3 class = "act"><a name = "act1" id = "act1">THE FIRST ACT</a></h3> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The scene is a drawing-room, prettily but somewhat showily decorated. +The walls are papered with a design representing large clusters of white +and purple lilac. The furniture is covered with a chintz of similar +pattern, and the curtains, carpet, and lamp-shades correspond.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In the wall facing the spectator are two windows, and midway between the +windows there is the entrance to a conservatory. The conservatory, which +is seen beyond, is of the kind that is built out over the portico of a +front-door, and is plentifully stocked with flowers and hung with a +velarium and green sun-blinds. In the right-hand wall there is another +window and, nearer the spectator, a console-table supporting a high +mirror; and in the wall on the left, opposite the console-table, there +is a double-door opening into the room, the further half of which only +is used.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In the entrance to the conservatory, to the right, there is a low, +oblong tea-table at which are placed three small chairs; and near-by, on +the left, are a +<span class = "pagenum">2</span> +grand-piano and a music-stool. Against the piano there is a settee, and +on the extreme left, below the door, there is an arm-chair with a little +round table beside it. At the right-hand window in the wall at the back +is another settee, and facing this window and settee there is a smaller +arm-chair.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +Not far from the fire-place there is a writing-table with a +telephone-instrument upon it. A chair stands at the writing-table, +its back to the window in the wall on the right; and in front of the +table, opposing the settee by the piano, there is a third settee. On the +left of this settee, almost in the middle of the room, is an arm-chair; +and closer to the settee, on its right, are two more arm-chairs. Other +articles of furniture—a cabinet, “occasional” chairs, etc., +etc.—occupy spaces against the walls.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +On the piano, on the console-table and cabinet, on the settee at the +back, on the round table, and upon the floor, stand huge baskets of +flowers, and other handsome floral devices in various forms, with cards +attached to them; and lying higgledy-piggledy upon the writing-table are +a heap of small packages, several little cases containing jewellery, and +a litter of paper and string. The packages and the cases of jewellery +are also accompanied by cards or letters.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +A fierce sunlight streams down upon the velarium, and through the green +blinds, in the conservatory.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +<em>[</em>Note: Throughout, “right” and “left” are the spectators’ right +and left, not the actor’s.<em>]</em></p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lord Farncombe</span>, his gloves in his hand, +is +<span class = "pagenum">3</span> +seated in the arm-chair in the middle of the room. He is a +simple-mannered, immaculately dressed young man in his early twenties, +his bearing and appearance suggesting the soldier. He rises expectantly +as <span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span>, a flashy parlourmaid in +a uniform, shows in <span class = "smallcaps">Lionel Roper</span>, +a middle-aged individual of the type of the second-class City +man.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Hul-lo! I’m in luck! Just the chap +I’m hunting for. <span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class += "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> How d’ye do, Lord Farncombe?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>How are you, Roper?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +languidly.</span> I’ll tell Mrs. Upjohn you’re here.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Ta. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> +withdraws.</span> Phew, it’s hot!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Miss Parradell’s out.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking off his gloves.</span> She won’t be +long, I dare say.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I’ve brought her a few flowers.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">4</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Have you? I’ve sent her a trifle of jewellery.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Glancing at the writing-table.</span> She +seems to have received a lot of jewellery.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bustling across to the table.</span> By +Jove, doesn’t she! Ah, there’s my brooch!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Modestly.</span> I didn’t consider I’d a +right to offer her anything but flowers, on so slight an +acquaintance.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Exactly; but I’m an old friend, you know. <span class = +"stagedir">Turning to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> +Perhaps, by her next birthday——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling.</span> I hope so.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Approaching <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and taking him by the lapel of his +coat.</span> What I want to say to you is, doing anything to-night?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I—I shall be at the theatre.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">5</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Oh, we shall all be at the theatre, to shout Many Happy Returns. +Later, I mean.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Nothing that I can’t get out of.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Good. Look here. Smythe is giving her a bit of supper in the foyer +after the show, a dance on the stage to follow. About +five-and-twenty people. ’Ull you come?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>If Mr. Smythe is kind enough to ask me——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>He <i>does</i> ask you, through me. He’s left all the arrangements to +me and Morrie Cooling. Carlton never did anything in his life; <i>I</i> +egged him on to this. I’ve been sweating at it since eleven o’clock this +morning. Haven’t been near the City; not near it. Well?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His eyes glowing.</span> I shall be +delighted.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Splendid. Been trying to get on to you all day. I’ve called twice at +your club and at St. James’s Place.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Sorry you’ve had so much trouble.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">6</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping on to the settee in front of the +writing-table and wiping his brow.</span> There’ll be the Baron, Sam de +Castro, Bertie Fulkerson, Stew Heneage, Jerry Grimwood, Dwarf Kennedy, +Colonel and Mrs. Stidulph—Dolly Ensor that was—and +ourselves, besides Cooling and Vincent Bland and the pick o’ the +Company. Catani does the food and drink. I don’t believe I’ve +forgotten a single thing. <span class = "stagedir">With a change of +tone, pointing to the arm-chair in the middle of the room.</span> Sit +down a minute. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> sits and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> edges nearer to him.</span> Are you going to +wait to see Lily this afternoon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I—I should like to.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Because if Jeyes should happen to drop in while you’re +here——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Captain Jeyes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Nicko Jeyes—or if you knock up against him to-night at the +theatre—mum about this.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>About the supper?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Um. We don’t want Nicko +Jeyes; we simply don’t want him. And if he heard that you +<span class = "pagenum">7</span> +and some of the boys are coming, he might wonder why <i>he</i> isn’t +included.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>He strikes me as being rather a surly, ill-conditioned person.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>A regular loafer.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>He appears to live at Catani’s. I never go there without meeting +him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Exactly. Catani’s and a top, back bedroom in Jermyn Street, and +hanging about the Pandora; that’s Nicko Jeyes’s life.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><i>He’s</i> an old friend of Mrs. Upjohn’s and Miss Parradell’s too, +isn’t he?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Evasively.</span> Known ’em some time. +That’s <i>it</i>; Lily’s so faithful to her old friends.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling.</span> <i>You</i> oughtn’t to +complain of that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Oh, but I’m a <i>real</i> friend. I’ve always been a patron of the +musical drama—it’s my fad; and I’ve kept an eye on Lily from the +moment she sprang into prominence— <span class = +"stagedir">singing</span> “Mind the paint! Mind the paint!” +<span class = "pagenum">8</span> +—looked after her like a father. Uncle Lal she calls me. <span +class = "stagedir">Reassuringly.</span> I’m a married man, you know; +<span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> +nods</span> but the wife has plenty to occupy her with the kids and she +leaves the drama to me. She prefers Bexhill. <span class = +"stagedir">Leaning forward and speaking with great earnestness.</span> +Farncombe, what a charming creature!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Innocently.</span> Mrs. Roper?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>No, no, no; Lily. <span class = "stagedir">Hastily.</span> Oh, and +so’s my missus, for that matter, when she chooses. But Lily +Upjohn——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> Beautiful; perfectly +beautiful.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Yes, and as good as she’s beautiful; you take it from me. <span class += "stagedir">With a wave of the hand.</span> Well, if you see Jeyes, you +won’t——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Not a word.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and walking away to the left.</span> +I’ve warned the others. <span class = "stagedir">Returning to <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> who has also risen.</span> +By-the-bye, if Lily should mention the supper in the course of +conversation, remember, <i>she’s</i> not in the conspiracy.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Conspiracy?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">9</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>To shunt Nicko. We’re letting her think there are to be no +outsiders.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Becoming slightly puzzled by <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper’s</span> manner.</span> Why, would she very much like +Captain Jeyes to be asked?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rather impatiently.</span> Haven’t I told +you, once you’re a friend of Lil’s——! <span class = +"stagedir">Looking towards the door.</span> Is this Ma? <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> enters.</span> +Hul-lo, Ma!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A podgy little, gaily dressed woman of +five-and-fifty with a stupid, good-humoured face.</span> ’Ullo, +Uncle!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Lord Farncombe——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing and shaking hands with <span class += "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Glad to see you ’ere again. You +<i>’ave</i> been before, ’aven’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Last week.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Of course; you came with Mr. Bertie Fulkerson. But somebody or +other’s always poppin’ in. <span class = "stagedir">Pleasantly.</span> +Lil sees too many, <i>I</i> say. It’s tirin’ for ’er. Won’t you set?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">10</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Lord Farncombe’s brought Lily some flowers, Ma. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Where +are they?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who, after waiting for <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> to settle herself upon the settee in +front of the writing-table, sits in the chair at the end of the +settee—pointing to a large basket of flowers.</span> On the +piano.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Barely glancing at the flowers.</span> ’Ow +kind of ’im! Sech a waste o’ money too! They do go off so quick.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Reading the cards attached to the various +floral gifts.</span> Where <i>is</i> Lil?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>She’s settin’ to a risin’ young artist in Fitzroy Street—Claude +Morgan. She won’t be ’ome till past five. So tirin’ for ’er.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Never heard of Morgan.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>No, nor anybody else. That’s what I tell ’er. Why waste your time +givin’ settin’s to a risin’ young artist when the big men ’ud go down on +their ’ands and knees to do you? But that’s Lil all over. She’s the +best-natured girl in the world, and so she gets imposed on all +round.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">11</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gallantly.</span> I prophesy that <ins class += "correction" title = "text has comma for period">Mr. </ins>Morgan’s picture of Miss Parradell won’t have +dried before he’s quite famous.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Turning a pair of dull eyes full upon +him.</span> ’Ow do you mean?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Disconcerted.</span> Er—I +mean—</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><i>Why</i> won’t it ’ave dried?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I mean he will have become celebrated <i>before</i> it has dried.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Is pictures never do dry, you mean?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>No, no, Ma!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Owever, it doesn’t matter. ’E isn’t even goin’ to put ’er name to +it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Why not?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>You may well ask. ’E’s bent on callin’ it “The ‘Mind the Paint’ +Girl.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">12</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>What’s wrong with that? Everybody’ll recognise who <i>that</i> +is.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unconvinced.</span> ’Er name’s printed on +all ’er photos.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>The first time I had the pleasure of seeing your daughter on the +stage, Mrs. Upjohn, a man next to me said, “Here comes the ‘Mind +the Paint’ girl.”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Cheering up.</span> Oh, well, p’r’aps young +Morgan knows ’is own business best. Let’s ’ope so, at any rate.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">By the tea-table, beckoning to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Farncombe——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Eh? <span class = "stagedir">To <span +class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, rising.</span> Excuse me.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> joins <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>, whereupon <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> goes to the writing-table and, seating herself there, +examines the jewellery delightedly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, in a whisper.</span> Do me a favour.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Certainly.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">13</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at his watch.</span> It’s only +half-past four. Take a turn round the Square. I’ve some business to talk +over with the old lady.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding to <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and then coming forward and addressing <span +class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> +I—er—I think I’ll go for a little walk and come back +later on, if I may.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Contentedly.</span> Oh, jest as you +like.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving towards the door.</span> In about a +quarter-of-an-hour.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>If we don’t see you again, I’ll tell Lil you’ve been ’ere.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the door.</span> Oh, but you will; you +<i>will</i> see me again.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Well, please yourself and you please your dearest friend, as Lil’s +dad used to say.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Thank you—thank you very much.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He disappears, closing the door after him.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">14</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +looking up.</span> I b’lieve you gave that young man the ’int to +go, Uncle.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>I did; told him I wanted to talk business with you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Business? <span class = "stagedir">Resuming her inspection of the +trinkets.</span> This is a ’andsome thing Mr. Grimwood’s sent ’er.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His hands in his trouser-pockets, +contemplating <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> +desperately.</span> Upon my soul, Ma, you’re a champion!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><i>Now</i> wot ’ave I done!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Well, you might spread yourself a little over young Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Spread myself! Why should I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Lord Farncombe!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I treat ’em all alike; so does Lil. ’E’s not the first title we’ve +’ad ’ere, not by a dozen.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">15</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>No, but damn it all—! I beg your pardon——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Beaming.</span> So you ought—swearin’ +like a trooper.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><i>This</i> chap’s in love with her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Oh, they’re all in love with ’er; or <i>’ave</i> been, one time or +another.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Yes, but they’re not all Farncombes and they’re not all marrying men. +I’m prepared to bet my boots that if Lil and young Farncombe could be +thrown together——! <span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the +settee in front of the writing-table as <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> rises and comes forward.</span> Here! Do talk it over.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Placidly.</span> Where’s the use o’ talkin’ +it over? It’s wastin’ one’s breath. <span class = "stagedir">Moving to +the settee by the piano.</span> My Lil doesn’t want to +marry—any’ow not yet awhile; she’s ’appy and contented as she is. +<span class = "stagedir">Sitting and smoothing out her skirt.</span> +When she does, I s’pose it’ll be the Captain.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Between his teeth.</span> The Captain! <span +class = "stagedir">Quietly.</span> Ma, the day Lil marries Nicko Jeyes, +you and she’ll see the last o’ <i>me</i>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">16</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Oh, don’t say that, Uncle.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>I do say it. The disappointment ’ud be more than I could stand. +Selfish, designing beggar!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Now, no low abuse.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>A fellow who gets on the soft side of Lil before she’s out of her +teens—before she’s made any position to speak of; and when she +<i>has</i> made a position, and <i>he’s</i> practically on his uppers, +sticks to her like a limpet!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>She sticks to ’im, too. It meant a deal to Lil in ’er ’umble days, +reck’lect—receivin’ attentions from a gentleman in the army. She +doesn’t forget that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Jumping up and walking about.</span> It’s +cruel; that’s what it is—it’s cruel. Here’s Gwennie Harker and +Maidie Trevail both married to peers’ sons, and Eva Shafto to a +baronet—all of ’em Pandora girls; and Lil—<i>she’s</i> left +high and dry, engaged to a nobody! It’s cruel!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>She’s not ackshally engaged.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">17</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Ho, ho!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>The ideer was, when ’e shirked goin’ to India an’ gave up soldierin’, +so as to be near ’er, that ’e should get something to do in London; +<i>then</i> they were to be engaged.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sarcastically.</span> Oh, to be just, +I admit he’s in no hurry. He’s been a whole year looking for +something to do in London—looking for it at Catani’s and at the +Pandora bars!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’E <i>’as</i> to be on the spot at night, to bring Lil ’ome after ’er +work.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Exactly! And when a decent, eligible young chap comes along, and +means business, he’s choked off by finding Nicko Jeyes in possession. +<span class = "stagedir">Stopping before <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> But, I say!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Wot?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><i>Farncombe</i> hasn’t tumbled to it yet.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Indifferently.</span> ’Asn’t ’e?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">18</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Bertie Fulkerson’s held his tongue about it; so have the other boys +who’re friends of Farncombe’s. <i>They</i> see he’s hard hit. <span +class = "stagedir">Enthusiastically.</span> Oh, they’re good boys; +they’re good, loyal boys! There’s not one of them who wouldn’t throw up +his hat if Nicko got the chuck. <span class = +"stagedir">Suddenly.</span> Ma!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Startled.</span> Hey?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping his voice.</span> This little spree +to-night at the theatre—Lil thinks it’s to be merely among the +members of the Company.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Ain’t it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting beside her.</span> You keep quiet, +now. No, it isn’t.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Oo——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>The boys—and Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Disturbed.</span> Gracious! There’ll be an +awful fuss with the Captain to-morrer.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Snapping his fingers.</span> Pishhh!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">19</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and walking away to the right.</span> +’E’s so ’orribly jealous. When Lil tells ’im ’oo was at the party, +there’ll be a frightful kick-up!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Falling into despondency.</span> Oh, I dare +say I’m a fool for my pains, Ma. Nothing’ll come of it. <span class = +"stagedir">Rising and pacing the room again.</span> Farncombe’s as shy +as a school-girl; he’d be on a desert island with a pretty woman for a +month without squeezing her hand.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In an altered tone.</span> Uncle.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Hullo!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Thoughtfully.</span> <i>I</i> shouldn’t +raise any objection, bear in mind, if Lil could be weaned away from the +Captain and took a fancy to young Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Objection!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the settee in front of the +writing-table.</span> All said an’ done, to be Lady F., with no +need to work if you’re not disposed to, is better than bein’ Mrs. +Captain Jeyes an’ ’avin’ to linger on the stage, p’r’aps, till you drop, +to ’elp keep the pot a’ boilin’. <span class = "stagedir">Opening her +eyes widely.</span> Lady F.!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">20</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to her.</span> And Countess of +Godalming when his father dies.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I s’pose there’d be any amount of unpleasantness with the fam’ly?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Disdainfully.</span> The family!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>There’s generally a rumpus in sech cases.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Why, Ma, these tiptop families ought to feel jolly grateful that +we’re mixing the breed for them a bit. Look at the two lads who’ve +married Gwennie Harker and Maidie Trevail—Kinterton and Glenroy; +and Fawcus—Sir George Fawcus—Eva Shafto’s husband; they +haven’t a chin or a forehead between ’em, and their chests are as narrow +as a ten-inch plank.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Quite true.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Farncombe himself, <i>he’s</i> inclined to be weedy. I maintain +it’s a grand thing for our English nobs that their slips of sons have +taken to marrying young women of the stamp of Maidie Trevail and Gwennie +Harker—or Lil; keen-witted young women full of the joy of life, +with strong frames, beautiful hair and fine eyes, and healthy pink gums +and big white teeth. +<span class = "pagenum">21</span> +Sneer at the Pandora girls! Great Scot, it’s my belief that the Pandora +girls’ll be the salvation of the aristocracy in this country in the long +run!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Captain Nicholas Jeyes</span> lounges in. He +is a man of about five-and-thirty, already slightly grey-haired, who has +gone to seed. <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> sits in the chair +in the middle of the room rather guiltily and <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> puts on a propitiatory grin.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding to <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> as he closes +the door.</span> Afternoon, Mrs. Upjohn. How’r’you, Roper?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Ah, Captain!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Hullo, Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing.</span> Lily not in?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>No; she’s in Fitzroy Street, settin’ to Morgan.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Frowning.</span> Why didn’t she ask me to go +with her?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Dun’no, I’m sure. She’s took Miss Birch.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a grunt.</span> Oh? <span class = +"stagedir">Looking round.</span> Flowers.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">22</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Eaps of ’em, ain’t there?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Jerking his head towards the +writing-table.</span> Yes, and some nice presents over here.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>She’s beat ’er record this year, Lil ’as, out an’ out.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> goes to the writing-table and +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> rise and wander away, the former to the +conservatory, the latter to the settee by the piano.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Scowling at the presents.</span> Very nice. +<span class = "stagedir">Picking up a case of jewellery.</span> Ve-ry +nice. <span class = "stagedir">Throwing the case down angrily.</span> +Confound ’em, what the devil do they take her for!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the entrance to the conservatory.</span> +I may remark that one of those gifts is from <i>me</i>, Jeyes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Oh, I’m not alluding to <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stiffly.</span> Much obliged.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming forward and addressing <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> +<span class = "pagenum">23</span> +I’ve called in to ask Lily whether she’ll come out to supper with me +to-night, to Catani’s, to celebrate her birthday. Luigi’s decorating a +table for me specially. Mr. and Mrs. Linthorne’ll come, and Jack +Wethered. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Are you free, Roper? <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> sits uneasily on +the settee by the piano and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> finds +some object to interest him near the tea-table.</span> I suppose +it’s no good asking <i>you</i>, Mrs. Upjohn?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>N-n-o, thank you, Captain, and <ins class = "correction" title = +"changed from “I I-I’m” to match all others">I—I’m</ins> +afraid——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Afraid——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I’m afraid Lil can’t manage it either.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Why not?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I—I’m surprised she didn’t mention it to you ’erself when you +brought ’er ’ome last night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Mention what?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>They’re givin’ ’er a supper to-night at the theatre.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>The theatre?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing.</span> Yes, Carlton’s standing a +little spread +<span class = "pagenum">24</span> +in the foyer, in honour of the occasion. <span class = +"stagedir">Sitting at the tea-table.</span> Quite right too; she’s +<i>his</i> best asset, and chance it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>When was it fixed up?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Late last night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>The fact is, Lily and I had a slight tiff coming home last night. +<span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the settee in front of the +writing-table.</span> Ha! I suppose she kept it from me to pay me +out. <span class = "stagedir">Sharply.</span> Who’s invited?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Er—only the principal members of the Company, +I understand.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moistening her lips with her tongue.</span> +Yes, only the members of the Company, Lil says.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>With Morrie Cooling and Vincent Bland thrown in.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> <i>You</i> seem to know a lot about it, +Roper.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>I was behind when Morrie was going round to the dressing-rooms.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">25</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +suspiciously.</span> Are <i>you</i> asked?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taken aback.</span> E—eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Are <i>you</i> asked?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With an attempt at airiness.</span> Oh, yes, +they’ve dragged me into it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Since when have <i>you</i> been a member of the Company?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>No, but—dash it, I’ve done business for Carlton in the City for +twenty years or more——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>That doesn’t make you one.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>And I’m an old friend of Lil’s.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Not older than I. <span class = "stagedir">Violently.</span> Why the +blazes doesn’t Smythe invite <i>me</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Extending his arms.</span> My dear Nicko, +<i>I’m</i> not +<span class = "pagenum">26</span> +giving the party. Really, you do jump down a man’s +throat——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Sorry, sorry, sorry. <span class = "stagedir">Leaning back and +thrusting his hands into his pocket.</span> Well, I’ll put Jack and the +Linthornes off. They don’t want to sup with <i>me</i>; I shouldn’t +amuse ’em. <span class = "stagedir">Gazing at the carpet.</span> Her +birthday, though! It’ll be the first time I shall have been out of +<i>that</i> for—how many years?—six years. I—— +<span class = "stagedir">Raising his head, he detects <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> eyeing each other uncomfortably.</span> +Anything the matter?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>T-t-the matter?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking his hands from his pockets and +sitting upright.</span> Any game on?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Game?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>At my expense?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I dun’no wot you’re drivin’ at, Captain.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Harshly.</span> How long’s Lily sitting this +afternoon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Till five.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">27</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at his watch.</span> What’s Morgan’s +number in Fitzroy Street?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Sixty.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising.</span> I’ll fetch her.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +As he makes a movement towards the door, it is thrown open and <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily Parradell</span> enters with a rush—an +entrancing vision of youth, grace, and beauty. She is followed by <span +class = "smallcaps">Jimmie Birch</span>, a <em>petite</em>, bright-eyed +girl in an extremely <em>chic</em> costume.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Tearing off her gloves as she enters.</span> +Wh-e-e-w! I’m dead! <span class = "stagedir">Giving her hand to <span +class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> carelessly.</span> Ah, Nicko! <span +class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> I couldn’t stand the heat in the studio any +longer, mother. <span class = "stagedir">Finding <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> beside her, she offers her cheek to him and he +kisses it.</span> <i>Mon Oncle!</i></p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Closing the door.</span> That young man +Morgan ought to paint the infernal regions.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking her scarf from her shoulder.</span> +He might finish with the angels first, though. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, softly, as <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> turns to shake hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> You in a better temper to-day?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">28</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In her ear.</span> You drove me wild last +night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Making a face at him.</span> Served you +right. <span class = "stagedir">Passing him.</span> For God’s sake, let +me lie down. <span class = "stagedir">She throws herself upon the settee +in front of the writing-table, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> moves away as <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> go to +her.</span> Don’t come near me. Give me my fan. Jimmie, where’s my +fan?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Oh, I’ve left it in Fitzroy Street!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Beast!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hurrying to the writing-table.</span> +There’s one ’ere, among your presents.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unpinning her hat.</span> Uncle Lal, what an +adorable ring that is you’ve sent me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking the fan from <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> Ring! A brooch!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><i>Somebody’s</i> sent me a ring.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">29</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting in the chair at the end of the +settee by the writing-table.</span> There’s three rings.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Of course! One of them’s from Nicko! <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Did you get my sweet +telegram, Nicko?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who has greeted <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and is now seated in the chair on the extreme +left—sulkily.</span> I had your telegram, but it’s a +<i>pendant</i> I sent you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the settee by the piano and +pulling off her gloves.</span> Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>You shut up, Jimmie. <span class = "stagedir">Snatching the fan from +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> How on earth am I to +remember! <span class = "stagedir">Fanning herself.</span> Who’s given +me <i>this</i> pretty thing?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Mr. Monty Levine.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Bless him! He’s a dear little man, though he does bite his nails. +<span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> appears +with <span class = "smallcaps">Vincent Bland</span>, who saunters in +after her. Seeing <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> advances to her.</span> Hallo, Vincent!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A thin, delicate looking man of +eight-and-thirty, not +<span class = "pagenum">30</span> +over smartly dressed, wearing an eye-glass—nodding to <span class += "smallcaps">Lily</span> casually.</span> You needn’t have cut me, +almost on your door-step. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> H’lo, Jimmie! H’lo, Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Viewing <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> with an elevation of the brows.</span> Oh, are +you home?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Returning <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys’s</span> stare.</span> Apparently.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p>I’ll whistle up to Maud.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Don’t, if it’s too severe a strain on you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span>, +as the girl moves to the door.</span> Gladys, we’ll ’ave tea.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the door.</span> You can’t till it’s +ready.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calmly.</span> Cheek!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> retires.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who has strolled across to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, indolently.</span> Why do you retain the +services of that tousled-headed hussy?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">31</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With conviction.</span> Oh, she’s a little +under the weather, but she’s a perfect servant.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Ma, you look blooming.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Wish I could return the compliment, Mr. Bland.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +who is wearing a waistcoat of rather a pronounced pattern.</span> +Congratulations on your waistcoat, Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Joining <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, annoyed.</span> Now, no personalities.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Giving <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> her hand.</span> Vincent, yours is one of the +loveliest presents I’ve had to-day. <i>Remerciement!</i> How’s that for +a French accent?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping his eyeglass.</span> You cat!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Why——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>You know I’ve given you nothing, not even a penny nosegay.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">32</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising herself on her elbow.</span> On my +honour—! Vincent dear, I swear I thought——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>The funds are too low. <span class = "stagedir">Replacing his +eyeglass.</span> I did go so far as to price a bangle at Sellby’s, +but that was before a certain event yesterday.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>What horses did you back, Vincent? I won a fiver, through Jerry +Grimwood.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>.</span> You <i>are</i> a patent ass. Why don’t +you leave betting alone?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +flaring up.</span> Why don’t you leave your City muck alone?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting her feet to the floor, +imperiously.</span> That’ll do. Be quiet, you two! I won’t have any +wrangling in my house. Run away and play, all of you. I want to +speak to Vincent for a minute privately. <span class = "stagedir">With a +gesture.</span> Uncle Lal—Jimmie—Nicko— <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> +Scoot, mother!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">33</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Oh, dear, wot a child!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, and +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> move away and <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> beckons to <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Vin.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Close to her, with a wry face.</span> +Mercy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> You’ve broken your +word to me, then? <span class = "stagedir">Through her teeth.</span> +Those damned horses!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>Cooling had a tip from the stable——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Cooling! Morrie Cooling has no children; only a fat wife. You’ve a +darling little wife and three kiddies. How much did you drop +yesterday?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>Shan’t say.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and touching his arm.</span> Oh, +Vincent!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She looks round, to assure herself that she is unobserved. <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> are seated at the tea-table with their heads +together, talking; <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> is at the +piano, fingering out a piece of music; <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> is half hidden in the arm-chair facing the +<span class = "pagenum">34</span> +settee at the back. <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> tiptoes to the +writing-table and seats herself there as <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> reappears showing in the <span class = +"smallcaps">Baron von Rettenmayer</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A tall, fair young man of three-and-thirty, +speaking in thick, guttural tones—advancing to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Aha, goddess! <span class = +"stagedir">Gladys withdraws.</span> Many habby returns of the day!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>H’sh! I’m busy for a moment, Baron.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>—shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>.</span> A thousand bardons.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Talk to mother and Jimmie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>With bleasure. <span class = "stagedir">Going to <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and shaking hands with them.</span> How are +you, my dear Ma? How are you, Jimmie? <span class = "stagedir">Waving a +hand to <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> My dear Rober! My dear Neegolas!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>, mimicking him.</span> Rober! Neegolas! Why don’t +they provide you with throat lozenges at the Embassy, Baron?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> laughs. <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> has quickly opened a drawer in the writing-table +and produced a cheque-book. After another +<span class = "pagenum">35</span> +glance over her shoulder, she sweeps the presents aside and writes. Then +she replaces the cheque-book, rises, and returns to <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>. Again there is a loud guffaw from <span class += "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> in response to some sally of <span +class = "smallcaps">Jimmie’s</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span>, +folding a cheque and slipping it into his hand.</span> +Promise—promise you won’t make another bet.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unfolding the cheque.</span> Your +cheque?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hastily.</span> Put it in your pocket.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>A blank one.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a whisper.</span> Don’t fill it in for +more than you can help. <i>I’m</i> not over flush.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He deliberately tears the cheque into four pieces and, looking at her +steadily, puts them into his waistcoat-pocket.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As he does so.</span> I’ll keep those, Lil, +for as long as I keep anything.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hotly.</span> You fool, Vincent!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">36</span> +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>My dear, as if——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Such ridiculous pride! <span class = "stagedir">Stamping her +foot.</span> Lord, what I owe to you!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> enters with <span class = +"smallcaps">Sam de Castro</span>. <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> is carrying a lace-edged table-cloth which, +assisted by <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, she proceeds +to lay upon the tea-table.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving away to join the others—to +<span class = "smallcaps">De Castro</span>.</span> Ha, Sam!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A stout, coarse, but genial-looking +gentleman of forty, of marked Jewish appearance, speaking with a +lisp—shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> How are you to-day, Lil? Many happy +returnth, wunth more.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Thanks, dear old boy. <span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the settee +in front of the writing-table.</span> Did I send you a wire this +morning?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Not you; not a thix-pen’north.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I ought to have done so, to acknowledge your—what was it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>A ring—diamondth and thapphires.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">37</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ah, yes; beautiful.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>It <i>ith</i> rather a nithe ring. <span class = "stagedir">Lowering +his voice.</span> But I thay.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Mind you don’t go and tell Gabth, on any account.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a great assumption of ignorance, +raising her eyebrows.</span> Gabs?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Gabrielle—Mith Kato.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Why shouldn’t I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Nonsenth; <i>you</i> know very well. <span class = +"stagedir">Urgently.</span> You won’t, will you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shrugging her shoulders.</span> I won’t if I +remember not to.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Alarmed.</span> Ah, now, don’t be thtupid! +Whath the good o’ making mithchief! <span class = "stagedir"><span class += "smallcaps">Lily</span> shows him the tip of her tongue.</span> Oh, +Lil! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> +goes out.</span> Lil——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">38</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving the group at the back and putting an +arm round <span class = "smallcaps">De Castro’s</span> shoulder.</span> +My dear friend Zam!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>How are you, Baron? <span class = "stagedir">Going to <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> Afthernoon, Ma! <span class = +"stagedir">Nodding to <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Afthernoon, everybody! <span +class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, who has risen and now joins the group.</span> +How are you, Nicko?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Giving her hand to <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Excuse me for cutting you +short when you came in. Thanks for your splendid present. I did +send you a wire, didn’t I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Kissing her hand and bowing over it.</span> +I shall breserve it, with a few oder souvenirs, till the end of my +life.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Withdrawing her hand and blowing the +compliment away.</span> Phew! Lal, lal, lal, la!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In an altered tone, after a cautious look +round.</span> Goddess.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Eh?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">39</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Anxiously.</span> My drifling liddle +offering—I endreat you not to mention it to Enid.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing heartily.</span> Ha, ha, ha, ha! +Another of you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>The gharming Miss Mongreiff.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Seriously.</span> Baron, I wish you boys +wouldn’t make me presents and then ask me to keep them a secret from the +other girls.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>And I—I wish it were not nezezzary. But, goddess, you are alzo +a young lady of the world—you know what women are.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>H’m! I know what you men are.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span>, a buxom young woman with a +good-tempered face, dressed as a lady’s-maid, enters quickly, tying her +apron, and runs to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>. <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> comes to the further side of the writing-table +and <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> now joins him +there. <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie Birch</span> also comes forward, +accompanied by <span class = "smallcaps">De Castro</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Here, give me your things. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> tosses +<span class = "pagenum">40</span> +her hat, scarf, and gloves to <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span>.</span> I was in my room, having a lie +down. Is my hair untidy?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I’ve never seen it anything else.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Merrily.</span> Ha, ha, ha! <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">De Castro</span>.</span> Afternoon, Miss Jimmie. Afternoon, +Mr. de Castro. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Now, don’t let them all tire you to +death, there’s a pet.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, clear out. <span class = "stagedir">As <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span> is departing.</span> Hi! <span class = +"stagedir">Rising and kicking off her shoes and sending them in <span +class = "smallcaps">Maud’s</span> direction.</span> Fetch me a pair of +slippers.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Picking up the shoes and chuckling.</span> +He, he, he!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +When <span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> reaches the door, which she +has left open, <span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> appears with the +tea-tray and with <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> at her +heels.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span>, in +a low voice, witheringly.</span> Oh, you’re doing something, are +you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In the same tone, passing <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span>.</span> Yes, setting you an example, my girl. +<span class = "stagedir">Encountering <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Beg pardon.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> withdraws, closing the door, and +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> stands looking at <span class += "smallcaps">Lily</span>, who is talking +<span class = "pagenum">41</span> +to <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>. <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> carries the tray to the tea-table.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Become aware of <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> presence and nodding to him.</span> How +d’ye do?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving a step or two towards her.</span> +I—I’ve been here before this afternoon. I ventured to bring +you some flowers.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to him and shaking hands with him +formally.</span> Nobody told me. Awfully kind of you. Where have they +put them?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Lifting his basket of flowers from off the +piano and showing it to her.</span> Here.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Pretty. <span class = "stagedir">Pulling out a carnation.</span> +Stick it up there again. <span class = "stagedir">He replaces the +basket.</span> You’re Lord Farncombe, aren’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a glance at the others.</span> Know +anybody here?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking round the room.</span> Nearly +everybody, I fancy. <span class = "stagedir">He advances to <span +class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, who comes +<span class = "pagenum">42</span> +to meet him. <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> sits upon the settee +by the piano and fastens the carnation in her dress. <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> goes out.</span> Karl——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>My dear Eddie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bowing to <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span>, who is now seated beside <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> on the settee in front of the +writing-table.</span> How are you, Mr. de Castro? <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, who is standing by +the chair at the writing-table gnawing his moustache and watching <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> sourly.</span> How are you, Captain Jeyes? +<span class = "stagedir">Turning to <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>.</span> How are you, Mr. Bland? <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> I’ve been +talking to Mrs. Upjohn and Mr. Roper already.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking across to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Miss Birch—Lord Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> How d’ye do?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and shaking hands with her.</span> +I—I needn’t say that I am one of Miss Birch’s +warmest—most profound——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling at him.</span> That’s all right; +don’t you bother about that.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> returns, carrying a pair of silken +slippers. <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, who has come +to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +<span class = "pagenum">43</span> +makes a dart at the slippers and takes them from <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Aha! Permid me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p>Now, Baron——! <span class = "stagedir">Slapping his +arm.</span> Ha, ha, ha——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He pushes <span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> out of the room, she +resisting laughingly, and closes the door.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Holding the slippers aloft.</span> +Gendlemen! Homage to Beaudy! Vollow me! Zam! Vinzent! Rober! Neego! +Eddie! <span class = "stagedir">The men put themselves behind him, in +single file, in the order in which he calls them, with the exception of +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, who deliberately sits at the +writing-table, and <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who is +embarrassed. <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> claps her hands and +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, who is pouring out tea, +laughs herself into a fit of coughing.</span> Ta, ta, ra, ra, ta, ta! +Boum, boum!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Baron, you great baby!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Quig! Marge!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Come along, Farncombe!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Giving <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> a shove.</span> Go on!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">44</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> takes his place behind <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and, headed by <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, the men march round the room.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Waving the slippers in the air and singing.</p> + +<div class = "song"> +<p>Weib, was ist in aller Welt</p> +<p>Dir an Schönheit gleichgestellt!</p> +<p>Reizumflossen, wunderhold,</p> +<p>Perl’ der Schöpfung, Herzensgold!</p> +<p>Tag’s Gedanken, Traum der Nacht,</p> +<p>Schweben um Dich, Süsse, sacht.</p> +</div> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> halts before <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and kneels to her. She extends her left +foot and he kisses her instep and puts her foot into her slipper. She +rewards him by lightly boxing his ears. He makes way for <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span>, handing him the other slipper, and <span +class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> performs the same ceremony with +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily’s</span> right foot. She upsets <span +class = "smallcaps">de Castro’s</span> balance by a little kick.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Seating himself beside <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, +singing.</p> + +<div class = "song"> +<p>Venus, seinen Nacken beut</p> +<p>Dir Den Sklave, dienstbereit!</p> +</div> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">De Castro</span> gathers himself up and sits +in the chair at the end of the settee in front of the, writing-table. +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>, having knelt and kissed <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> foot, also sit, the former in the chair in the +middle of the room, the latter in the chair on the extreme left. +Finally, <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> finds himself +<span class = "pagenum">45</span> +before <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>. He looks at her +hesitatingly and she returns his look with awakened interest and +withdraws her foot.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking her head.</span> No, no; don’t +<i>you</i> be silly, like the others.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Loudly.</span> Tea!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland, Von Rettenmayer</span> and <span class += "smallcaps">de Castro</span> jump up and go to the tea-table where +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> joins them. <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> enters, carrying a stand on which are a plate +of bread-and-butter, a dish of cake, etc. <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> takes the stand from her and the girl retires. +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> brings <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> a cup of tea. <span class = "smallcaps">De +Castro</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> follow him, the +one with a milk-jug, the other with a sugar-basin. <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> carries a cup of tea to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, and then <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span>, having waited +upon <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, go to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> with the milk and sugar. <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> hands the bread-and-butter and cake to <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, then to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, and in the end <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper, Bland, de Castro</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> assemble at the tea-table and receive +their cups of tea from <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Relieving <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span> of the stand.</span> Give it to me. +I want a little exercise.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">46</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking her cup of tea from <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Thanks.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Helping <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> to milk.</span> Milk-ho!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>Sugar?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Br-r-r-rh! I’m putting on weight as it is.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Offering the bread-and-butter, +etc.—facetiously.</span> Ices, sweets <i>or</i> chocolates, full +piano-score!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Nothing to eat, Uncle; I dine at six.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> from the tea-table.</span> Captain, ain’t you +goin’ to ’ave any tea?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moodily examining the presents on the +writing-table.</span> No, thank you, Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, +after she has been helped to milk.</span> Sugar?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Two lumps.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">47</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pushing <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> +aside, imitating a female voice.</span> Ices, sweets <i>or</i> +chocolates, full piano-score!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Cutting a slice of cake.</span> Lal, the +world ’ud be a much happier place to live in if Lloyd George taxed your +jokes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer, Bland, and de Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Returning to the tea-table.</span> Ha, ha, +ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who remains standing near her.</span> Seen +our show at the Pandora?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gazing at her.</span> Twenty-three +times.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not really?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>This week and last, every night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Running her eye over him.</span> You in the +Guards, by any chance?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Yes.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">48</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling.</span> Ah, you’ll never do a braver +deed than seeing our show twenty-three times.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> +leaves her to go to the table, her mouth full of cake.</span> Boys! +<span class = "stagedir">Choking.</span> Heugh, heugh, heugh! Wait a +minute; I’ve swallowed some of the Baron’s German. <span class = +"stagedir">Gulping.</span> B-oys, seriously—no rot— <span +class = "stagedir">raising her tea-cup</span> jolly good health to Lily! +<span class = "stagedir">There is a cry of approbation from <span class += "smallcaps">Bland, Von Rettenmayer, de Castro</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper. Farncombe</span> fetches himself a cup of tea from +the tea-table.</span> She’s a white woman, Lily is—the staunchest, +truest pal, where she takes a liking——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland, Von Rettenmayer, de Castro, and Roper.</p> + +<p>Hear, hear!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pressing forward through the men and going +to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> And the best daughter +breathing. <span class = "stagedir">Embracing <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and then turning to the others.</span> D’ye +notice the new dress I’m wearin’ this afternoon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Don’t, mother; don’t.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Fifteen guineas it’s cost her. <span class = "stagedir">Sitting in +the chair on the extreme left, proudly.</span> Madame Godolphin made it, +and a ’at to go with it <i>ong sweet</i>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">49</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Hu-s-s-sh!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Well—— <span class = "stagedir">sipping her tea as if +drinking a toast</span> in a cup of tea!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland, de Castro, and Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sipping their tea.</span> In a cup o’ +tea!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Drinking.</span> In a gob o’ dea!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>, mockingly.</span> Gob o’ dea!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Waving her hand.</span> Thank you, Jimmie. +Thank you, dear boys, from the bottom of my heart.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To the men.</span> By Jove, she saved +<i>me</i> once from going home to a cheap lodging and taking a dose of +rat-killer!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>, +peeping over their shoulders.</span> A pidy—a gread +pidy.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> I’ll attend to you presently, Baron.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">50</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> I remember. A wretched little +shrimp you looked that day.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To everybody.</span> It was my first morning +at the Pandora. They’d had me up from Harrogate in a hurry, to take +Gwennie Harker’s place. I’d been playing her part in the Number Two Co. +in the country; and she’d left ’em in a hole, to get married to a stupid +lord—— <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, finding him standing near her.</span> +Sorry. I was to have only one rehearsal; <span class = +"stagedir">clenching her fist</span> and, oh, didn’t they treat me +abominably! Miss Ensor was late and we were all hanging about on the +stage, waiting for her. I’ve never felt so cold in my life, or so +lonely. Not a word of welcome, not a nod, from a single soul; simply a +blank stare occasionally from a haughty beauty with a curled lip! And at +last, when I was on the point of howling, I became conscious that +somebody was watching me—a tall, pretty thing in a lavender +frock——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting in the chair in the middle of the +room.</span> Lil.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>I caught her eye, and she came straight over to me and sat down +beside me. “Shaky?” she said. “A corpse,” I said. And she +quietly laid hold of my hand and held it till Dolly Ensor condescended +to stroll in. And when I got up I asked her who she was, and she told +me. “Oh, my God,” I said, “I’ll +<span class = "pagenum">51</span> +never forget your kindness! Why, of course, you’re the ‘Mind the Paint’ +girl——!”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper, de Castro, and Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Singing.</span> “Mind the paint! Mind the +paint! Tra, lal, la, lal, la, lal, la, lal, la, lal, tra, la, la, +la——!”</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> seats himself at the piano and +thumps out the air of the refrain of “Mind the Paint.” The three men, +mouthing the time silently, wave their arms, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> head and body move from side to side.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a groan.</span> Ugh! Is there anything +more ancient than a four-year-old comic song? <span class = +"stagedir">Playing a few bars of the melody of the song.</span> Shade of +Nineveh and all the buried cities!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper, Von Rettenmayer, and de Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +coaxingly.</span> Lily! Goddess! Lil!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking her head.</span> Oh, boys, it’s +gone. <span class = "stagedir">Pressing temples.</span> +I couldn’t——</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> plays the introductory symphony +and then pauses. Then she sings, he accompanying her. In a moment or +two, the song comes back to her readily and she gives it with great +witchery and allurement. <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> starts +up and goes to the window in the wall on the right and looks out.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">52</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Singing.</p> + +<div class = "song"> +<p>I’ve a very charming dwelling,</p> +<p>(You know where without the telling)</p> +<p>Decorated in a style that’s rather quaint!</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +Smart and quaint!</p> + +<p>When you pay my house a visit,</p> +<p>You may scrutinise or quiz it,</p> +<p>But you mustn’t touch the paint!</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +Brand-new paint!</p> + +<p>Mind the paint! Mind the paint!</p> +<p>(No matter whether Maple’s bills are settled or they ain’t!)</p> +<p>Once you smear it or you scratch it,</p> +<p>It’s impossible to match it;</p> +<p>So take care, please, of the paint—of the paint!</p> +</div> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Rising and coming to the middle of the room, <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> repeats the refrain, dancing to it gracefully. +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> also rises and she, <span class += "smallcaps">Roper</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> join +in the chorus and the dance, the three men very extravagantly. <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> looks on, enraptured, while <span +class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> beats time with her hands.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir">Singing.</p> + +<div class = "song"> +<p>I’m possessed of all the graces,</p> +<p>Oh, a perfect dr-r-r-ream my face is!</p> +<p>(It may owe to Art a trifle or it mayn’t</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +H’m, it mayn’t!)</p> + +<p>And I’ll cry out for assistance.</p> +<p>Should you fail to keep your distance,</p> +<p> +<span class = "pagenum">53</span> +Goodness gracious, mind the paint!</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +Mind the paint!</p> + +<p>Mind the paint! Mind the paint!</p> +<p>A girl is not a sinner just because she’s not a saint!</p> +<p>But my heart shall hold you dearer—</p> +<p>You may come a little nearer—</p> +<p>If you’ll <i>only</i> mind the paint—mind the paint!</p> +</div> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The refrain is repeated as before, <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> rising and taking a share in it. Then <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> drops on to the settee before the writing-table, +laughing and holding up her hands in protest.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No more, boys! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> +gather round her, applauding her and urging her to continue.</span> No, +no; no more! I’ve had such a stiff day——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With sudden energy, to everybody.</span> Out +you go, all of you; out you go!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To the men.</span> Come on; let’s mizzle. +<span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Cruel of us to tire her so.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Tapping <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> on the shoulder.</span> Now, then, Baron!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> I’m goming.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">54</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> to the door.</span> Well, <i>gome</i>!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pulling <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> away from <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Now, Uncle!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Adjusting his coat.</span> Mind the paint, +Ma.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling out.</span> Good-bye, Lil!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As she shakes hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span>, calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Good-bye!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> disappear.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Now, Mr. de Castro! <span class = "stagedir">Moving with <span class += "smallcaps">Roper</span> towards the door.</span> ’Owever d’ye think +she’s goin’ to get through her work to-night!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pausing to comb his moustache.</span> Quite +right, Ma—— <span class = "stagedir">thoughtlessly</span> +and a thupper and a danthe afterwardth.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Turning upon him quickly.</span> Sssh! <span +class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> Dam fool!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">55</span> +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Clapping his hand to his mouth.</span> +Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +They glance at <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> who, hearing de +Castro’s remark, has left the window and come forward a step or two.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Uneasily.</span> Er—good-bye, +Nicko.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, +in the same way.</span> G-good-bye.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To both, dryly.</span> Good-bye.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Talking to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, neither of them having heard de Castro’s +slip.</span> That jingle—an echo of old times, eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking up at him.</span> Yes, but not +better times than these times, Vin?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sadly, holding her hand.</span> Ah, Lil, +there are so many tunes in life left for <i>you</i>, my dear!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the door, with <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span>—to <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span>.</span> +Come along, Vincent.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> joins the group at the door as +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> approaches <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">56</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with her.</span> Thank you. +<span class = "stagedir">With fervour.</span> Glorious!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Reproachfully.</span> For shame!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I mean it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>T’sh! <span class = "stagedir">Lightly.</span> See you again some +day, perhaps?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Ah, yes—</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Coming our way, Farncombe?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> +depart. <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> bows to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and makes for the door.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Good-bye, Captain Jeyes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who has wandered to the entrance to the +conservatory, where he is now standing with his back to the +room—half turning.</span> Good-bye.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> Delightful! Enjoyed myself +amazingly.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">57</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Graciously.</span> Oh, we’re always glad +when a few folks pop in— <span class = "stagedir">he wrings her +hand</span> if they don’t over-stay their welcome.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Naturally. <span class = "stagedir">Hurriedly.</span> Good-bye. <span +class = "stagedir">He vanishes.</span></p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Remaining at the door.</span> +Captain——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing.</span> I want just half a dozen +words with Lily, Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Tell Maud to put out my old green frock, mother; +I’ll be up in a minute or two.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Now, you won’t keep ’er longer, will +you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Grimly.</span> No, no; I know she won’t be +in bed till four o’clock to-morrow morning at the earliest. <span class += "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> goes out, +closing the door, and Jeyes comes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> So Smythe is giving you a grand feed +to-night at the theatre, Lil?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Arranging the pillows on the settee.</span> +In the foyer.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">58</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>And a dance, it appears.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Yawning.</span> Oh-h-h-h! <span class = +"stagedir">Lying upon the settee at full length.</span> Who told +<i>you</i>, grumpy?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Roper and your mother told me about the supper. <i>You</i> +didn’t.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha! You were in such a vile mood last night, coming home.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Who will there be to dance <i>with</i> to-night?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>The men of the Company.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>That doesn’t sound very inspiring.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Rather school-treaty, isn’t it!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Nobody from outside?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No; it’s to be only the men in the theatre and the principal +ladies.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">59</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><i>Roper’s</i> going.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Uncle Lal? Oh, well, he’s hardly from outside.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>And de Castro.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Sam?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I’m sure of it, from something I heard him say just now.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Sam used to finance Carlton. I suppose they reckon <i>him</i> one of +us.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting in the chair in the middle of the +room.</span> Smythe might have extended the compliment to <i>me</i>, +Lil. He knows how I stand towards you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Awfully sorry; <i>I</i> can’t help it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Twining his fingers together.</span> You +see, if Roper and de Castro are asked, there may be others.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Changing her position.</span> Oh, lal, lal, +lal, lal, la!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">60</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a set jaw.</span> Some of the more +juvenile “boys,” perhaps. <span class = "stagedir">Examining his +nails.</span> Lil.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>When did you make the acquaintance of the young sprig o’ the nobility +who’s been here this afternoon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Lord Farncombe? Bertie brought him and introduced him one day last +week.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Ha! <i>He’s</i> at your feet now.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Phuh!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Oh, you may “phuh”! He’s in front every blessed night. There he sits, +Row B., three stalls from the end, prompt side!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>There are a few good-looking girls at the Pandora besides your humble +servant.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Rubbish! His glass follows you all over the stage. I watched him +talking to you in this room——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">61</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising herself.</span> Did you indeed!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Beating his clenched hands upon the arms of +his chair.</span> God in heaven! First it’s one, then it’s another, +chasing you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting her feet to the ground.</span> Oh, +you’re maddening, Nicko! You <i>are</i>; you’re maddening. Last night it +was Stewie Heneage you chose to be jealous of, simply because you’d +heard him sounding my praises at Catani’s! You almost broke the window +of the car, you went on so!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I confess I object to Heneage, or any man, raving about you at the +top of his voice in a public place.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Sakes alive, why <i>shouldn’t</i> Stewie rave about me in a public +place, if he feels like it! I belong to the public. He might rave +about a girl who’s a jolly sight less deserving of being raved about, as +a girl <i>and</i> an artist, than I am.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Well, we’ll dismiss Heneage.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Yes, exit Stewie and enter somebody else for you fuss and fume about. +This afternoon it’s Lord +<span class = "pagenum">62</span> +Farncombe, and to-morrow it’ll be a fresh person altogether. One ’ud +think, to hear you, that I don’t know how to take care of myself, and of +any poor boy who loses his head over me! <span class = "stagedir">Rising +and walking away.</span> You’re growing worse and worse with your +jealousy, Nicko. Stop it! I’m surprised at you, after all these years! +It’s beginning to fret me, and that’s bad for my spirits and bad for me +in business. <span class = "stagedir">At the tea-table, grabbing a piece +of bread-and-butter and biting at it.</span> And now you’re making me +spoil my dinner— <span class = "stagedir">relenting</span> and +that’s not good for me either, you brute!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His hands hanging loosely between his knees, +sighing heavily.</span> Oh, Lily, Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Yes, oh, Lily, Lily!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Why—why don’t you put me out of my misery?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Munching.</span> Poison you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Marry me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind his chair.</span> Marry you? <span +class = "stagedir">Taking his handkerchief from his breast-pocket and +wiping her fingers upon it—sarcastically.</span> Have you come to +tell me you’ve got some work to do at last? Break it gently, Nicko; the +shock might be too great for me.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">63</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Oh, <i>I’d</i> find a billet soon enough, Lil, if only I’d an +incentive to hunt for it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Incentive! You <i>had</i> an incentive twelve months ago, when I was +willing to engage myself to you absolutely if you could obtain a good +secretaryship or something of the sort.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I—I’ve no fancy for a beggarly secretaryship.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No; all <i>you’ve</i> a fancy for, seemingly, is for living on your +unfortunate people. <span class = "stagedir">Throwing him his +handkerchief and leaving him.</span> How a man of your age can rest +satisfied with being a burden to others passes my dull +comprehension!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I—I <i>have</i> been a bit slack, I own—I <i>have</i> +been a bit leisurely; but——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Inspecting some of the flowers about the +room.</span> Nicko, that pendant, or whatever it is, you’ve given +me—I don’t want to hurt you, but I won’t accept it. You take +it away with you; do you hear?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Not heeding her, weakly.</span> +Lil——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">64</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I’m in earnest; you remove it from off my premises.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Lil— <span class = "stagedir">she returns to him</span> my +eldest brother—Robert— <span class = "stagedir">looking up +at her</span> Bob— <span class = "stagedir">She nods +inquiringly.</span> Bob’s at me to go out to Rhodesia, to manage a group +of stock farms he’s interested in near Bulawayo.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, why don’t you go?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Forlornly.</span> Rhodesia! Bulawayo! <span +class = "stagedir">Looking up at her again with a dismal smile.</span> +Come with me?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Don’t be absurd.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and putting his hands upon her +shoulders.</span> No, you wouldn’t care a straw—not a brass +farthing—if I <i>did</i> go, would yer!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Softening again.</span> Stuff! I should miss +you horribly. <span class = "stagedir">Toying with a button of his +waistcoat.</span> Who’d bring me home from the theatre at night then, +and from rehearsals; who——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Ah, <i>who</i>! <span class = "stagedir">His grip tightening on +her.</span> <i>Who!</i></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">65</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wincing.</span> Ssss! You’ll bruise my skin +if you’re not careful.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking her hand and crumpling it in +his.</span> Well, it might be that you’d miss me for a while—the +old dog that you’re accustomed to find lying on your door-mat; <span +class = "stagedir">pressing her hand to his lips</span> but you don’t +<i>love</i> me, Lil—not even as much as you did a year ago. You +don’t <i>love</i> me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a faint shrug of her shoulders.</span> +Perhaps I don’t, in the way you mean; <span class = +"stagedir">wistfully</span> perhaps it’s not in me really to love +anybody in a marrying way. <span class = "stagedir">Meeting his +eyes.</span> Still, as you say——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>As I say——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pursing her mouth at him winningly.</span> +I’m <i>accustomed</i> to you, Nicko. <span class = "stagedir">He draws +her to him; but, with a laugh, she checks him by offering him her head +to kiss.</span> There— <span class = "stagedir">putting the point +of her finger playfully on the crown of her head</span> you may +<i>there</i>. <span class = "stagedir">As he kisses her.</span> Now I +must run upstairs, or mother’ll whack me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Detaining her.</span> Won’t you allow me to +fetch you after the dance?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Three or four in the morning! No; I’ll give you +<span class = "pagenum">66</span> +a rest. Uncle Lal or Sam’ll take on your job. <span class = +"stagedir">Going to the door.</span> And don’t try to see me +to-morrow.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sharply.</span> Why not?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not till you turn up at night as usual. I shall be a shocking +rag all day.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Breaking out.</span> Yes, I expect you’ll +manage to enjoy yourself thoroughly, and dance yourself off your feet, +whoever your partners may be!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wilfully.</span> Expect I shall. <span class += "stagedir">Tossing her head up.</span> Ha, ha! I’ll do my best.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She departs, leaving him standing near the tea-table. He takes out his +handkerchief and mops his brow. As he does so, his eyes rest upon the +telephone-instrument on the writing-table and he stares at it. He +hesitates, as if struggling to resist an impulse; then he goes quickly +to the instrument and puts the receiver to his ear.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a pause.</span> Gerrard, three, eight, +four, eight. <span class = "stagedir">Discovering that <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> has left the door wide open, he lays the +receiver upon the writing-table and goes to the door and shuts it. Then +he returns to the writing-table and again listens at the +receiver.</span> Is that the office of the Pandora Theatre?... <span +class = "stagedir">Suddenly, imitating the +<span class = "pagenum">67</span> +voice of <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>.</span> Ith Mithter +Morrith Cooling in?... I’m Mithter de Castro ... Tham de Castro ... +Gone, ith he?... Oh, ith that you, Mithter Hickthon?... Yeth, you’ll do +... About the thupper-party to-night that Mithter Smythe ith giving to +Mith Parradell ... Yer there?... I didn’t quite underthtand whether +ith to be at the theatre or at a rethtaurong ... At the theatre?... Oh, +yeth ... A largth party?... Oh, that <i>ith</i> nithe!... Who are +the guesth, d’ye know?... Yeth?... Yeth?... Oh, an’ the boyth!... oh, +thome o’ the <i>boyth</i> are comin’, are they!... Hey?... Haven’t got +the litht from Mithter Roper yet?... Oh, <i>he’th</i> been helpin’ to +get it up!... Oh, we <i>shall</i> have a thplendid time!... The +boyth!... Yeth!... Yeth!... ha, ha, ha, ha!... thankth.... goo’bye!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He replaces the receiver and stands looking at the door for a moment. +Then, with his head bent and his hands clasped behind him, he goes +slowly out.</p> + +<h4 class = "end">END OF THE FIRST ACT.</h4> + + +<!-- <span class = "pagenum">68</span> --> + + +<span class = "pagenum">69</span> +<h3 class = "act"><a name = "act2" id = "act2">THE SECOND ACT</a></h3> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The scene is an artistically decorated refreshment-saloon—or +“foyer”—on the first-circle floor of a theatre. The wall facing +the spectator is panelled partly in glass, and through the glazed panels +the corridor behind the circle, and the doors admitting to the circle, +are seen. The right-hand wall is panelled in a similar way, showing the +landing at the top of the principal staircase and an entrance to the +corridor. Some music-stands and stools are on the landing, arranged for +a small orchestra.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In the right-hand wall there is a double swing-door giving on to the +landing; and in the wall at the back, opening on to, and from, the +corridor, there is a single swing-door on the left and another on the +right. The left-hand door is fastened back into the saloon by a hook. +Between the two doors in the back wall runs the refreshment-counter.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In one of the further corners of the saloon there is a plaster statue +representing the Muse of Comedy, in the opposite corner a companion +figure of Dancing. In the wall on the left, the grate hidden by flowers, +is a fireplace with a fender-stool before it, and on either side of the +fireplace there is a +<span class = "pagenum">70</span> +capacious and richly upholstered arm-chair. A settee of like design +stands against the wall on the right between the double-door and the +spectator.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The counter is decked-out as a sideboard, and at equal distances from +each other there are four round tables laid for a supper-party of +twenty-six persons. There are eight chairs at one table and six at each +of the others, the chairs being of the sort usually supplied by +ball-caterers.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The saloon and the landing without are brilliantly lighted, the corridor +less brightly.</p> + + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> and four waiters—one of +whom has a curly head and a fair beard ending in two flamboyant +points—are putting the finishing touches to the laying of the +tables, while <span class = "smallcaps">Morris Cooling</span>, +a person of imposing presence displaying a vast expanse of +shirt-front, is engaged in placing upon each of the serviettes a card +bearing the name of a guest.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Referring to a plan of the tables which he +has in his hand.</span> Miss Connify—Miss Connify—Miss +Connify—where’s Miss Connify? Ah, here you are, my dear— +<span class = "stagedir">moving to <span class = "smallcaps">Miss +Connify’s</span> chair and putting a card upon her serviette</span> next +to old Arthur.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The four waiters, obeying a direction in dumb-show from <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span>, go out at the door on the left.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A little, dark, active man—viewing the +tables with satisfaction.</span> Tables look nice, Mr. Cooling?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">71</span> +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Absorbed.</span> Not bad—not +bad—not bad. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span> follows the waiters.</span> Miss Kato? <span +class = "stagedir">Moving to another table and laying a card upon a +serviette.</span> Gabrielle.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> bustles in through the +double-door, in high feather.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Hul-lo! <span class = "stagedir">Cutting a caper.</span> Merry +Christmas and a Happy New Year, and how are you to-morrow!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Deep in his plan of the tables.</span> +Hullo, Lal!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Surveying the tables.</span> Splendid! <span +class = "stagedir">Going from one table to another.</span> Seating ’em, +hey?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Mr. Palk—Mr. Palk—Mr. Palk? <span class = +"stagedir">Placing another card.</span> Albert.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Which d’ye make your principal table?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>There it is; you’re at it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Ah, yes. <span class = "stagedir">Examining the cards.</span> “Miss +Lily Parradell—”! <span class = "stagedir">His jaw falling.</span> +Why, you’ve gone and put the Baron on her right!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">72</span> +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unconsciously.</span> Well, what’s the +objection?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Where’s Farncombe? Where’s Lord Farncombe?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>On the other side, with Dolly Stidulph and Enid.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Rats!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>What do you mean by Rats? <span class = "stagedir">Advancing to the +principal table—nettled.</span> Look heah, Lal——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>My dear fellow, Miss Parradell is the heroine o’ the party; the seat +next to her is the seat of honour.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>That’s why I’ve put the Baron there. With things as they are between +England and Germany——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>If Germany doesn’t like it, she must lump it. Lord Farncombe’s the +eldest son of an Earl; you can’t get over that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Picking up <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> card.</span> Oh, have it your own +way.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">73</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Picking up <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer’s</span> card.</span> Besides, the Baron’s sweet on Enid +just now; I’m sure he’d prefer— <span class = "stagedir">They +exchange the cards and rearrange them.</span> thanks, ol’ man. Sorry I +was shirty.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laying down his plan and cards and producing +a letter from his breast-pocket.</span> By-the-bye, the fair +Lily—the heroine of the party, as you call her—is in a +pretty tantrum over the whole business.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Tantrum?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unfolding the letter.</span> Had this from +her ten minutes ago. Listen to <i>this</i>. <span class = +"stagedir">Reading.</span> “My Dressing-room. 11-15. 80 degrees, with +the windows open.” <span class = "stagedir">In an injured tone.</span> +Haw, so I should think!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Concerned.</span> What’s amiss?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Reading.</span> “Morrie, you pig.” <span +class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> +whistles.</span> “Morrie, you pig. I should feel deeply indebted to +you if you would kindly inform me why the devil you went out of your way +to deceive me last night. You led me to suppose—and so did that +lying worm Lal Roper——” <span class = "stagedir">looking at +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span></span> <i>You.</i></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">74</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Oh, lord!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Resuming.</span> “—that lying worm Lal +Roper——”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Testily.</span> All right, all right.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>“—you both led me to suppose that this rotten banquet was to be +a family gathering of the ladies and gentlemen of the Pandora Theatre, +and no outsiders asked. Now I find that only three or four of the men of +the Company are invited, and I hear from Nita Trevenna, who has got it +from young Kennedy, that several of the Boys are to be laid on for the +occasion. The result is you have made me tell a regular whopper to a +particular friend of mine with regard to this affair——”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Passing his hand over his brow.</span> Nicko +Jeyes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>“—which I will never forgive you for, Morris +Cooling—neither you nor Lal Roper. As true as I am alive, +I have a jolly good mind not to show, but to put on my old rags and +go straight home. You are two cads. So take it out of that and believe +me, Always yours affectionately, Lil.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">75</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Walking about.</span> Well, I’m blessed!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Returning the letter to his pocket.</span> +Haw! Tasty document!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Lying worm and a cad! And from Miss Lily Margaret Upjohn! <span class += "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span>.</span> Done +anything about it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>No; waited for you. <span class = "stagedir">Going on with his +arrangements at the tables.</span> <i>You’re</i> responsible. What +<i>I</i> did last night was simply to oblige a pal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Irresolutely.</span> I’d better run round to +her, and try to smooth her down, hadn’t I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Perhaps you <i>had</i>. <span class = "stagedir">Placing a +card.</span> Mr. Stewart Heneage. <span class = "stagedir">To <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Why you wanted to mislead the +girl I can’t understand.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Damn it, you agreed that that sulky brute Jeyes ’ud be a wet blanket! +You blow hot and cold, you do!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>There you go! More filthy temper!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">76</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>If ever I assist in getting up another party——! <span +class = "stagedir">As he reaches the door on the left, he encounters +<span class = "smallcaps">Carlton Smythe</span>, who is entering at that +moment, and puts on his humourous manner.</span> Hul-lo! Here we are +again! All change for Oxford Circus!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A bulky, sleepy-looking man with grey hair, +a darker moustache and beard, and a heavy, rolling gait.</span> Ha, +Lal!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>I’m just going to have a word with Lil Parradell.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He disappears and <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> advances.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Approaching <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span>.</span> How are you to-night, Chief?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A silk hat on the back of his head, an +overcoat on his arm—regarding the preparations with +disgust.</span> Puh! Here’s a muck and a muddle!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Don’t worry; we’ll clear it away in no time. Shall I tell you who are +coming?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>No; I shall know soon enough. What was the house to-night?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">77</span> +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Producing a long slip of paper and handing +it to <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span>.</span> Big. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> scans the paper +through half-closed lids and gives a growl of contentment.</span> Haw! +And the weather dead against us.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Screwing up the paper, and cramming it into +his waistcoat-pocket.</span> There’s no bad weather for a good play. +<span class = "stagedir">Looking at his hands.</span> I’ll go and have a +wash and brush up. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span> returns, entering at the door on the left, and +goes behind the counter. The waiters follow him, carrying some melons +lying upon ice in plated dishes. They deposit the dishes upon the +counter and <span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> proceeds to cut the +melon into slices. <span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span> resumes, at +a table on the left, the placing of the cards. As <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> is moving towards the right-hand door at the +back, <span class = "smallcaps">Stewart Heneage</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Gerald Grimwood</span>—two exquisitely dressed youths +with blank faces—enter from the landing. <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> shakes hands with them.</span> Ha, Mr. +Heneage! Ha, Mr. Grimwood! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> +murmur some polite expressions.</span> Excuse me; I’m just going to wash +my hands. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">De +Castro</span> enters, also at the double-door, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> shakes hands with him. <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> +drift over to <span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span>, who hails them +warmly.</span> How do, Sam! Back in a moment; just going to wash my +hands.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Detaining him.</span> I thay, Carlton.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Eh?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">78</span> +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Lowering his voice.</span> I’ve been in +front again to-night. Magnifithent! Marvellouth!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Resignedly.</span> It’ll do; I shall get a +couple o’ years out of it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>There’th jutht <i>one</i> little improvement I’d like to thee, if I +may thuggetht it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>What’s that?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Linking his arm in <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe’s</span>.</span> You’re thure you won’t conthider me +prethumptuouth?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Of course not; very kind of yer.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe’s</span> +ear.</span> If you <i>could</i> give Gabth—Mith +Kato—a tiny bit more to do in the thecond +act——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Ah, yes, yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>She’th a little lump o’ talent, that gal, if you only realithed it; +a perfect little lump o’ talent.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">79</span> +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Trying to escape.</span> Er—I’ll think +it over.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Will yer! An extra thong! That’th all it need be—an extra +thong! Oh, it would be <i>thuch</i> an improvement! <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> enters at +the double-door. The waiters now go to the tables and lay a plate with a +slice of melon upon it at each cover.</span> Here’th the Baron. We’ve +been thitting together to-night, I and the Baron. <span class = +"stagedir">Wringing <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe’s</span> +hand.</span> Thankth. <span class = "stagedir">Joining <span class = +"smallcaps">Cooling</span> and the others on the left as <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> greets <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Hullo, Morrith! <span class = +"stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = "smallcaps">Heneage</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span>.</span> Well, boyth!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Glad to see yer, Baron.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Zo good of you to haf me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Excuse me; I’m just going to wash my hands.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Detaining him.</span> Bardon me—one +moment——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping his voice.</span> May I dake the +liberdy of +<span class = "pagenum">80</span> +indulging in a liddle griticism on your eggcellent blay?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Certainly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Drawing <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> away from the tables.</span> Gome here. <span +class = "stagedir">His mouth close to <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe’s</span> ear.</span> The zecond aggd!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Second act; what’s the matter with it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>The pard where the gharming Miss Barradell is ghanging her +gostume——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>That is where the biece reguires lifding— <span class = +"stagedir">with a gesture</span> lifding.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Lifting?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Mr. Davish—Mr. Balk—eggsdremely glever; <span class = +"stagedir">slipping his arm through <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe’s</span></span> but if you could zee your way glear +to gif Enid—Miss Mongreiff—anoder dance——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Ah, h’m, h’m.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">81</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>It would remove the zolitary imberfection.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Er—I’ll think it over. <span class = "stagedir">Releasing +himself.</span> I’m just going to wash my hands. We’ll talk about it +later.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Schoensten Dank. <span class = "stagedir">Going to the men on the +left.</span> Aha, Mr. Gooling! My dear Steward—my dear +Jerry——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +As <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> is again making for the door +on the left, <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> enters from +the landing with <span class = "smallcaps">Colonel Stidulph</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Stidulph</span>.</span> Ha, Dolly! <span class = "stagedir">Kissing +her.</span> How are you, my dear?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A mature but still beautiful woman, +gorgeously dressed and wearing showy jewels—with a lofty +air.</span> How are you, Carlton?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> How d’ye do, Arthur? Delighted to +see yer.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Lucky I’m able to come to you to-night. It’s so difficult to catch me +in the season.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">82</span> +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Been in front?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>M’yes; <span class = "stagedir">in a tone of boredom</span> oh, +yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>What, don’t you like it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Oh, I don’t say I <i>dis</i>like it; <span class = +"stagedir">shrugging her shoulders</span> but one can’t forget what one +<i>used</i> to do here in the old days.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">An elderly, distinguished-looking man with a +meek voice and a courteous but rather nervous manner.</span> I’ve had a +most enjoyable evening, Carlton. So bright; so very bright!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>, sneeringly.</span> Oh, anything pleases +<i>you</i>; <i>you’d</i> laugh at Punch and Judy.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>I’m just running away to wash my hands. <span class = +"stagedir">Looking towards the men on the left.</span> You know Von +Rettenmayer?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Know him! Why, he was about in my time! <span class = +"stagedir">Crossing to <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, +followed by <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Karl!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">83</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>My dear lady! <span class = "stagedir">Kissing her hand +perfunctorily.</span> What bliss! <span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands +with <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Golonel!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span>.</span> How are you, Sam?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Ah, Dolly! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Hullo, Arthur!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Presenting <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> +to the <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulphs</span>.</span> Mr. Stewart +Heneage—Mr. Gerald Grimwood——</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +As the <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulphs</span> leave <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Herbert +Fulkerson</span> enters from the landing with <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>. In dumb-show, <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> +greet each other and then <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> +introduces <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Glad to make your acquaintance.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Glad to make <i>yours</i>, Mr. Smythe—and in such +circumstances!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A white-faced young man with red eyes and of +dissipated appearance—espying <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Stidulph</span>.</span> +<span class = "pagenum">84</span> +By Jove, if it isn’t Dolly Ensor! <span class = "stagedir">Hurrying to +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>.</span> What cheer, +Dolly!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coldly.</span> How do you do, Mr. +Fulkerson?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Slightly abashed.</span> Oh, I—I’m +pretty middlin’, thanks; hope you’re the same. <span class = +"stagedir">Nodding to <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> +Evenin’, Arthur.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Vincent Bland</span> has sauntered in at the +door on the left and now joins the group surrounding the <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulphs</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding to <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span>.</span> H’lo, Stewart! H’lo, Jerry! <span +class = "stagedir">Coming to the <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulphs</span>.</span> +Dolly——Colonel——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> I’ll be back in a minute or two; +I’m just going to wash my hands.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Hi! Eddie!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> crosses to <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> and is presented by him to the <span class += "smallcaps">Stidulphs</span>. <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle +Kato</span> enters at the right-hand door at the back, meeting <span +class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> as he is going out. The waiters have +finished setting the plates of melon upon the tables and now withdraw, +carrying the plated dishes and preceded by <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span>, at the door on the left.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">85</span> +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> Ha, Gabby, my dear! Quite well, +eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A pretty young woman with a fretful little +face expressive of extreme dissatisfaction with the world—looking +at <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> spiritlessly.</span> This +<i>is</i> a treat. Why, you haven’t been to see us for ages.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Cunningly.</span> I see you all far oftener +than you suspect.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Do you? That <i>is</i> sly of you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving her.</span> I’m just going to have a +wash and brush up.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Really? Oh, you <i>are</i> full of news.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He departs as <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> approaches +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> Hullo, Gabth! How are +you to-night?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Oh, I’m all right, I s’pose. Isn’t it hot?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Not at his ease with her.</span> It +<i>ith</i> inclined that way.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">86</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Daphne Dure</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Nita Trevenna</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Douglas +Glynn</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Albert Palk</span> enter at +the door on the left. <span class = "smallcaps">Nita</span> is a tall, +handsome girl, <span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span> a plump, little, +fair, baby-faced thing. They are charmingly dressed, as are all the +ladies of the Pandora Theatre. <span class = "smallcaps">Glynn</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Palk</span>—the latter a short, +thick-set man who might reasonably be a low comedian—are two +professional-looking gentlemen of the best class. The arrivals are +warmly hailed by <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>, <span class += "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span>, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span> and, with more reserve, by <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>. <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span> has seated himself wearily in the <ins class += "correction" title = "printed without hyphen">armchair</ins> on the +nearer side of the fireplace and, beyond listening to <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> who is talking to him, has withdrawn himself +from the proceedings.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Here’s Daphne Dure—and Nita +Trevenna. <span class = "stagedir">Going to the new comers.</span> +Hullo, Daphne! Hullo, Nita! How’r’yer, Douglas! Hullo, Albert!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne and Nita.</p> + +<p>How d’ye do, Bertie? <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>.</span> How d’ye do, Von?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Kissing their hands.</span> Dear ladies! +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Glynn</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Palk</span>.</span> Aha, Mr. Glynn—Mr. +Balk—!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">87</span> +<p class = "speaker">Daphne and Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Heneage</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span>.</span> How d’ye do, +Stewie? How d’ye do, Jerry? <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>.</span> Oh, Dolly! That you, Dolly?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Well, girls!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Here! I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Dure—Miss +Trevenna—Lord Farncombe. Douglas—Albert—Lord +Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pouncing upon Cooling.</span> I say, +Morris!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>What is it, my dear?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p>Is it true that little Kennedy’s met with an accident?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Yes; can’t join us.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>The Dwarf! What’s happened?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Ran his car into a ’bus, just outside the theatre.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p>Oh!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">88</span> +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Pitched himself forward on to his head.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p>His head!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a simper.</span> Don’t be anxious, +Nita; there’s nothing to hurt <i>there</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Poor Dwarf!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span> now move over to the others.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Hullo, Gabs! Hullo, Sam!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Ah, Bertie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Kissing <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle’s</span> hand.</span> Gabrielle!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Ah, Von! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span>.</span> Ah, boys! <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>.</span> +How’r’ <i>you</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands.</span> +Daphne—Nita—Douglath—Albert—!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">89</span> +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Kato—Lord +Farncombe——</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +A band of musicians have mustered upon the landing and there is the +sound of the tuning of instruments.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hurrying across to the double-door.</span> +No, no; no music yet. Wait for Miss Parradell! <span class = +"stagedir">As he reaches the double-door, <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> enters quickly at the right-hand door at the +back and seizes his arm.</span> Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Cooling</span>.</span> It’s all right; she’ll be round in a +minute.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Amiable?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Angelic. She’s wearing a new dress, and that’s taken her mind off +it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Her bark’s always worse than her bite. I knew it ’ud blow over.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Formidably.</span> Oh, but I have given her +such a talking to! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Cooling</span> passes through the double-door, and instructs +the leader of the band, while <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> +bustles over to the throng on the left.</span> Hul-lo! <span class = +"stagedir">Imitating a street news-vendor.</span> Speshul edishun, +cricket, py-per! <span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands all +round.</span> Dolly—Nita—Gabs— +<span class = "pagenum">90</span> +Daphne! Douglas—Albert! Ah, here you are, Farncombe! <span class = +"stagedir">Discovering <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> +Hul-lo, Colonel! Results, py-per, extry speshul!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Enid Moncreiff</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Wilfrid Tavish</span>, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Sigismund Shirley</span> enter at the right-hand door at the +back. <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> is a long, spare-figured +girl with the lissom walk of a dancer; <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Shirley</span> +are tall, clean-shaven men of gentlemanlike appearance. <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> makes for <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span> eagerly and is followed, at a more moderate +pace, by <span class = "smallcaps">Heneage, Grimwood</span>, and <span +class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>, and by <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> bringing <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Miss Mongreiff! <span class = "stagedir">Kissing <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid’s</span> hand with fervour.</span> Your dancing was +more zurprizing to-night than ever. <span class = "stagedir">To <span +class = "smallcaps">Tavish</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Shirley</span>.</span> Aha, my friends!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>.</span> Well, Stew! How +are you, Jerry! Sam!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Moncreiff—Lord +Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hurrying across.</span> Hul-lo, here’s +Enid!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Shirley</span>.</span> Piethe went thplendidly thith +evenin’, didn’t it?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">91</span> +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Shirley</span>.</span> I want to introdooce Lord +Farncombe. Mr. Tavish—Mr. Shirley—Lord Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming forward to greet <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> who advances to her.</span> Dolly +dear!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Embracing <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>.</span> Enid darling! Good gracious, you’re +becoming an absolute skeleton!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Indeed? Well, no one can say that of <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>It <i>is</i> a pleasure, meeting all you girls <ins class = +"correction" title = "hyphen invisible">to-night</ins>. Of course, one +can’t help seeing <i>changes</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Icily.</span> Ah, it must be a pleasure, +<i>that</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>I’m going to scold dear old Carlton by-and-by. He never gave +<i>me</i> a birthday-party when I was with him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>No; and you had so many birthdays here, hadn’t you?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span> returns, entering from the +landing, and, +<span class = "pagenum">92</span> +after looking at the assembly, goes out at the right-hand door at the +back. At the same moment, <span class = "smallcaps">Flo Connify</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Sybil Dermott</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Olga Cook</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Evangeline +Ventris</span>—four statuesque beauties with impassive +faces—enter at the door on the left. <span class = +"smallcaps">Olga</span> is in a dark gown and <span class = +"smallcaps">Evangeline</span> is wearing a rather elaborate head-dress. +Instantly there is a movement in the direction of the new arrivals on +the part of <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood. De +Castro</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> follow, +<span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> still leading <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> about with him. <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> turns from <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span> disdainfully and joins <span class = +"smallcaps">Nita</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span> at +the fireplace. <span class = "smallcaps">Tavish</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Shirley</span> also move to the left, where they come upon +<span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> and shake hands with him, +while <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>, the latter flushed with victory, seat +themselves upon the settee on the right.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hastening to the beauties.</span> Hul-lo! +Show your tickets, please! Room inside for four! <span class = +"stagedir">Shaking hands.</span> How are you, Flo! How are you, Sybil! +How are you, Olga! I <i>say</i>, look at ’Vangy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Four Beauties.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As the men shake hands with them, +mechanically.</span> How d’ye do? How d’ye do? How d’ye do? How d’ye +do?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">93</span> +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Here! I want to introdooce Lord Farncombe. Miss Connify—Lord +Farncombe. Miss Dermott—Miss Cook—Miss ’Vangy +Ventris—Lord Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Four Beauties.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As before.</span> How d’ye do? How d’ye do? +How d’ye do? How d’ye do?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span> hurries back.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To everybody.</span> Miss Parradell! <span +class = "stagedir">Opening the double-door and signalling to the leader +of the band.</span> Now!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The band strikes up the air of “Mind the Paint” as <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> enters at the right-hand door at the back with +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie Birch</span>. <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> is dressed in white, and altogether fulfils +exteriorly <span class = "smallcaps">Roper’s</span> description of +“angelic.” She carries a large bouquet of lilies and pale roses with a +broad ribbon flowing from it. All the men but <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who holds aloof, press round her, <span +class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> rising and joining them. The ladies +follow.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Men.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Struggling for her hand.</span> Many happy +returns of day! Many happy returns of the day! Many happy returns of the +day!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Battling with the men.</span> Keep away from +her! Bertie, you’re on her frock! Mind her frock!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">94</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Mind the paint!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Men.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Holding her bouquet above her head.</span> +My roses! Be careful of me, boys! One at a time!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Men.</p> + +<p>Many happy returns of the day!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I want to kiss the girls. Girls——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The men make way for the ladies who come to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Ladies.</p> + +<p>Many happy returns of the day!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Embracing them.</span> +Sybil—Nita—! Oh, Mrs. +Stidulph!—Enid—Daphne—Gabs—Flo +dear—Olga—’Vangy——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Palk.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Suddenly.</span> Here’s the guv’nor!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> enters at the door on the left. +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> and the waiters are behind him, +the waiters carrying trays on which are sugar-casters and dishes of +powdered ginger. At once there is a movement towards <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> of everybody except those who have already +<span class = "pagenum">95</span> +greeted him, and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> who is detained +by <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and others.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Tavish.</p> + +<p>How are you, guv’nor?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Ladies.</p> + +<p>How d’ye do, Mr. Smythe?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Other Ladies.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hustling him.</span> How are you, +Carlton?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In the midst of them all.</span> Girls, +girls! I’ll shake hands with you all in turn, girls.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Thought you were dead.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p>Yes; look at Olga—she’s in deep mourning.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Ladies.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands.</span> Don’t, girls, don’t; +you’re smothering me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">During a momentary lull, finding <span class += "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> standing before her and raising her +eyebrows.</span> You! <span class = "stagedir">Giving him her hand +carelessly.</span> Oh, it isn’t long before we meet again, is it?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">96</span> +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Puffing and blowing.</span> That’s the lot +of yer. Phew! Where’s Lily? Lily here? <span class = "stagedir">The +crowd divides, to allow him to advance. Seeing <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, he opens his arms and she goes to him and lays +her head upon his breast.</span> Lil— <span class = +"stagedir">patting her shoulders</span> my dear!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Half gaily, half tearfully.</span> Ha, ha, +ha! Carlton!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Go’blessyer! <span class = "stagedir">In another tone.</span> Well, +what about something to eat!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p>Ready, Mr. Smythe. <span class = "stagedir">Loudly.</span> Ladies and +gentlemen, supper is ready!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p>Ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the principal table.</span> Here you are, +Chief! Miss Parradell!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Smythe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Come along!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +There is a general hunt for places and much hubbub and confusion.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Lal, that’s your table.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">97</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Imitating a shop-walker.</span> Mr. Roper, +forward!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Stidulph! Lord Farncombe! <span class = "stagedir">Pointing to +another table.</span> Glynn, you’re there.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>Here you are, Daphne!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At his table.</span> Miss Kato, wanted!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> Gabth!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span>.</span> Stewie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Baron—Enid——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Aha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Over there, Colonel.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wandering about.</span> Where am <i>I</i>? +Where am <i>I</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pushing him aside.</span> Oh, be off!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling.</span> Jimmie!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">98</span> +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At his place at a table.</span> Olga, you’re +here. Mr. Grimwood!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Where am <i>I</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>.</span> Next to me, worse luck. <span class += "stagedir">Screwing up her face at him.</span> Ugh!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Ladies’ mantles on the second-floor!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p>Where’s Sybil?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling.</span> Syb! Syb!</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +<a name = "act2b" id = "act2b">The curtain falls</a>, but the music of +“Mind the Paint” continues for a while. Then it ceases and, after a +short silence, the curtain rises again. The supper-tables have +disappeared and the saloon is empty of people. The musicians and their +music-stands and stools have also gone, and faintly from the distance +comes the sound of a waltz. Two settees, matching the rest of the +furniture, now stand in the centre of the saloon back-to-back, one of +them facing the counter, the other facing the spectator. <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> bouquet lies on the nearer of the two settees, +and upon the floor there is a fan, a red rose that has fallen from +a lady’s corsage, and a pocket-handkerchief with a powder-puff +<span class = "pagenum">99</span> +peeping from it. On the counter there are carafes of lemonade, decanters +of spirits and syphons of soda-water, a bowl of +strawberries-and-cream, various dishes of cakes, boxes of cigars and +cigarettes, a lighted spirit-lamp, and other adjuncts of a buffet. +<span class = "smallcaps">Colonel Stidulph</span> wanders in through the +double-door as the waltz comes to an end. Feebly and dejectedly he goes +to the counter, takes a cigarette, and is lighting it when <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span> and the waiters enter the door on the left. Two +of the waiters are carrying bottles of champagne in wine-coolers, +another brings a tray on which are champagne-glasses and tumblers, and +the bearded waiter follows with a large dish of sandwiches.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind the counter—to <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>, familiarly.</span> Ain’t you dancing, +Colonel?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Dancing—I? <span class = "stagedir">Shaking his head.</span> +No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who speaks Cockney English with a slight +foreign ascent—cutting the wire of a champagne bottle.</span> Why, +you used to be a regular slap-up dancing man when I first knew you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Ah, ah; <span class = +"stagedir">moving away</span> my dancing days are done.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">100</span> +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p>Done! Oh, I like that! I bet you ain’t sixty, come now, eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>What’s the time, Luigi? I haven’t a watch on.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p>Time, Colonel? <span class = "stagedir">Looking at his watch.</span> +Twenty to three.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>No later? <span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the settee on the +right, with a sigh.</span> Oh, dear!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +One of the waiters goes out, in obedience to a direction from <span +class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span>, at the door on the left as <span class += "smallcaps">Heneage</span> enters with <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> with +<span class = "smallcaps">Nita</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> with <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> +at the right-hand door at the back. A wisp of hair has fallen over +<span class = "smallcaps">Heneage’s</span> forehead, <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span> looks somewhat downcast, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> is obviously bored by <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Heneage</span>, +walking across to the left.</span> Never been to Ostend! You’ve never +been born, then. I’m counting the hours to my holiday. <span class = +"stagedir">Sitting in the chair on the nearer side of the +fireplace.</span> Hôtel de la Plage. Why don’t you run over while I’m +there?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span>, following <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>.</span> My dear boy, I +<span class = "pagenum">101</span> +give you my solemn word it wasn’t you. It was that fool Bertie. Anyhow, +it’s a rotten old frock. <span class = "stagedir">Showing a small rent +in her skirt to <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, gaily.</span> +Pom, pa-ra, rom, pom, pom!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Grimwood</span> go to the counter, secure a waiter, and +return with him to <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span class += "smallcaps">Nita</span>. The waiter receives his orders and presently +fetches the ladies glasses of lemonade.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Whispering to <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Well! Did you ever! Just fancy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Absently, looking at <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>.</span> I beg your bardon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Fancy those two girls walking into a room before <i>us</i>! <span +class = "stagedir">Discovering the fan upon the floor.</span> Oh, +I do believe that’s my fan!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> restores the fan to +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> as <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> +enter at the door on the left.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +in a low, complaining voice.</span> It’s a shame of you; that’s what it +is. You went and put Lily Parradell into rubber and enabled <i>her</i> +to make a bit. She told us so.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Yes; but how long ago?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">102</span> +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>That’s not the point. The point is, it’s always Lily Parradell with +you; you never do anything for us other girls.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She sits upon the nearer settee in the centre and she and <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>, he standing by her, continue their +conversation.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> No, thanks; I’m on a diet. Didn’t you notice +me at supper? <span class = "stagedir">Moving to the settee on the +right.</span> Let’s sit. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Oh, get up. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> rises +quickly.</span> Why aren’t you dancing? If you don’t dance, go home and +put yourself to bed. You might, for all the good you’re doing here.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a forced, painful laugh.</span> Ha, ha! +Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Stidulph</span> seats herself.</span> Blenty of room for you too, +Golonel.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>No, no; I won’t inconvenience you.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He moves away and <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> sits +beside <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>. The waiter who +has previously gone out now returns at the door on the left with a tray +of ices in paper cases. He goes to the counter for a supply of +ice-spoons as <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> enters with +<span class = "pagenum">103</span> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> at the right-hand door at the +back. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes sparkling.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">All his attention suddenly directed to <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Here’s Lil!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Excitedly, seizing <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph’s</span> hand.</span> You’re not dancing, Colonel +Stidulph. <span class = "stagedir">Showing him her programme.</span> +Dance with me. I’ll make one of the others give up a dance for you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to the counter.</span> No, no; I’m too +old.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Too old for dancing! I shall never be too old for dancing. <span +class = "stagedir">Coming to the nearer settee in the centre, picking up +her bouquet, and sitting beside <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> Ah-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who follows <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Hul-lo! <span class = +"stagedir">Beaming.</span> Jolly party, hey, Farncombe?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Boyishly.</span> Lovely! <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> May I bring +you some lemonade—an ice——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking up at him.</span> You may keep on +bringing +<span class = "pagenum">104</span> +me ices till the music starts again. <span class = "stagedir"><span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> leaves her.</span> Gabby, wasn’t +that waltz delicious!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Palk</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Sybil</span> enter at the door on the left. <span class = +"smallcaps">Sybil</span> seats herself beside <span class = +"smallcaps">Nita</span> on the fender-stool and <span class = +"smallcaps">Palk</span> fetches her some refreshment.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +drearily.</span> I say, Lil.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>How much did you make out of rubber last year through Lal?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Rubber, rubber, rubber? Br-r-r-rh! I don’t know. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> How +much?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Four-fifty.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>There!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I did my house up with it—gave the job to young Charlie Ramsden +who’s gone in for decorating——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Yes, and blued the whole lot at one go!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing.</span> Blued it completely. Ha, +ha, ha! +<span class = "pagenum">105</span> +<span class = "stagedir">Singing.</span> “What does the blue sea Whisper +to me-ee—!” <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> appears at her side with the waiter +carrying the ices.</span> Ices!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> and, with his hands in his pockets, walking +about exultingly.</span> Ices, sweets or chocolates, full piano-score! +Hul-lo, here! Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Glynn</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Olga</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Evangeline</span> have entered at the +right-hand door at the back. <span class = "smallcaps">Olga</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Evangeline</span> seat themselves upon the +further settee in the centre and <span class = "smallcaps">Glynn</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> summon a waiter to attend +upon them. <span class = "smallcaps">Shirley</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Flo</span> now enter at the door on the left and go to the +counter. At the same moment <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span>, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span> enter at the right-hand door at the back, +<span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> smoking a huge cigar. They also +stand at the counter and are served with drinks by <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span>. <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> having each taken an ice, the +waiter with the ices moves away and offers his ices to the other ladies. +Another waiter carries round a tray on which are a box of cigarettes and +the spirit-lamp, and the bearded waiter moves about with the dish of +sandwiches. Some of the ladies light cigarettes, a few of the men +take sandwiches.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As he enters with <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span>.</span> Haw, +<span class = "pagenum">106</span> +haw, haw! You’re wonderful, Chief. <span class = "stagedir">To <span +class = "smallcaps">Tavish</span>.</span> The Chief’s in great form, +Willy. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> Colonel, listen to the Chief.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>, confidentially.</span> Of course, this is strictly +between ourselves—though I almost hinted as much to +Smythe—but the fact is the Pandora isn’t in the least what it +<i>was</i>, Karl.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Noding is what it was, my dear Dolly, and nobody.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Fanning herself.</span> I suppose he can’t +find the artists; <i>that’s</i> it. If you don’t have the +artists—! <span class = "stagedir">Shutting up her fan.</span> You +recollect my “Polly Taggart” in <i>The Merry Milliner</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stifling a yawn.</span> Gharming; +gharming.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> is bending over <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> while she is eating her ice and they are talking +lightly but intently. <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>, +finding that she is “out of it,” rises with a pout and, carrying her +plate, joins the ladies and men who are at the fireplace. <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> enters with <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> at the door on the left.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> I hate blowing my own trumpet, but I was +looking through my press-cuttings +<span class = "pagenum">107</span> +only yesterday. <i>I’ve</i> never seen such notices as I had for “Polly +Taggart.”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Closing his eyes.</span> Vavourable?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Favourable! They make me blush to read them. Stupid of me; but they +make me blush, positively.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> comes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> +following her. On her way she sees the handkerchief and powder-puff +lying upon the floor.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Why, <i>there</i> it is! <span class = "stagedir">Picking up the +handkerchief and puff, and rubbing the puff, which is an extremely +ragged one, over her nose—singing sentimentally.</span> “There are +no friends like the old friends, The constant, tried, and true;—” +<span class = "stagedir">Sitting beside <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Room for a little ’un?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, without interrupting her talk +with <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, lays her hand on <span +class = "smallcaps">Jimmie’s</span> for a moment.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Bring you anything?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wrapping the puff in the handkerchief +tenderly and slipping it into her bosom.</span> A liqueur of petrol +and a lucifer-match.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">108</span> +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving her.</span> Oh, go on!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> And then to give it all up, as I was idiot +enough to do when I married, and for a life as dull as ditch-water! If +ever a woman sacrificed herself in this world——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span> enter at the door on the left and hurry to the +counter.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Boisterously.</span> Time! Time! <span class += "stagedir">To those standing at the counter.</span> ’Low me. ’Low me. +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span>.</span> Glass o’ lemonade and a +whiskey-and-soda. Quick with the whiskey-and-soda.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> But I don’t intend to stick to <i>that</i> +arrangement. If I can’t get back into the theatres, there are the halls! +I was telling the Colonel this morning——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Appearing before <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>, his programme in his hand.</span> +Ours, Dolly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising with alacrity.</span> Aha! <span +class = "stagedir">Bowing to <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Stidulph</span>.</span> I yield with relugtance.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> sits beside <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> hastens to <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">109</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Stidulph</span>.</span> Another waltz.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Heneage</span>, +who is claiming her.</span> Wait till I’ve finished my drink, +Stewie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Nita</span>.</span> Nita.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p>No; this is with Douglas.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>Nothing o’ the sort.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Nita.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Referring to her programme.</span> You’re +correct; my mistake.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> who is talking to <span class = +"smallcaps">Sybil</span>.</span> Gabth.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dolefully.</span> Oh, you again!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Mortified.</span> Afraid tho.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The sound of distant music is again heard, and there is a great deal of +bustle as the men claim their partners. <span class = +"smallcaps">Tavish</span> goes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Evangeline</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> +to, <span class = "smallcaps">Flo</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Palk</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Glynn</span> to +<span class = "smallcaps">Olga</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Sybil</span>, and gradually the assemblage melts away.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">110</span> +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, who is conning her programme, and standing +before her—reading from his programme.</span> “<i>Vawlse. Cry dee +cure.</i>”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With withering accuracy.</span> “<i>Valse. +Cri de cœur.</i>”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wagging his head.</span> Very likely. Come +along, Jimmie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and shaking herself out.</span> Jane +to you, <i>if</i> you please.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Tosh!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>I was christened Jane, <i>Herbert</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>Well, I wasn’t at the christening, see.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>No; but if you are not more careful of those feet of yours while +you’re waltzing, you <i>will</i> be at my funeral.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She takes his arm and they go out at the door on the left. <span class = +"smallcaps">Smythe</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Cooling</span>, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Shirley</span> follow, talking together. All the couples +have now disappeared except <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>. <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> and +<span class = "pagenum">111</span> +<span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> are at the counter, where <span +class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> is giving <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> a glass of champagne, and the waiters are busying +themselves in collecting the soiled glasses, plates, etc., which have +been left upon the mantel-piece and chairs. The bearded waiter comes to +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and she hands him her plate.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Shall we go down?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She rises, leaving her bouquet upon the settee, and is about to put her +arm through <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> when she checks +herself and looks at her programme.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Frowning.</span> Tsss!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> One, two, three, +four—! Why, this—this is our fifth dance!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Softly.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Five out of eight!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at his programme.</span> And 10, 12, +and 14 are mine, too.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">112</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a movement of her shoulders, accepting +his arm.</span> How unfair!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As they go to the right-hand door at the +back.</span> Unfair?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>To the others. I can’t think what made me so thoughtless.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +They disappear. Two of the waiters carry out the soiled glasses, etc.; +another follows with the ices, and the bearded waiter with the +strawberries-and-cream. After a while, <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span> also withdraws.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving the counter with <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Well, what did you say to +him?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>I told him the biece wants lifding in the zecond aggd and that he +ought to gif you anoder dance.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">On the right.</span> What did <i>he</i> +say?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>He will think it over!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Scornfully.</span> Ha! That’s Smythe’s +invariable formula, cunning old fox!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">113</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>But we are to dalk aboud it lader. I am waiding to ged him alone.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Pff! <i>You</i> won’t get him alone, you stupid; <i>he’ll</i> take +precious good care of that. <span class = "stagedir">Finding that <span +class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> and the waiters have departed, and +walking across to the left.</span> Ah, but it isn’t dancing my mind’s +dwelling on just now, dear boy.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Following her.</span> Nod?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>It’s rest I’m yearning for—my holiday!—rest for my weary +bones. <span class = "stagedir">Turning to him without a sign of +disturbance.</span> Karl, I’m simply bursting with rage.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Rage?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>That wretched hotel at Ostend—the Plage! They’ve the confounded +impudence to ask me a hundred-and-twenty-five francs a day for two +cubby-holes on the third floor, for my aunt and me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Monsdrous. <span class = "stagedir">With a shrug.</span> But Ostend +is—Ostend.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Thanks for the information. Is that all the sympathy you can +offer?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">114</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Bardon. <span class = "stagedir">Humbly.</span> There may be gheaper +hodels.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Where the common people pay for their beds and meals with Cook’s +coupons! <span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the arm of the further +settee in the centre and swinging her feet.</span> Oh, it doesn’t +matter. I suppose it’ll have to be Swanage, or some brisk resort of +that description. <span class = "stagedir">Sighing.</span> So be it! +<span class = "stagedir">Humming.</span> Tra, lal, lal, +la——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the nearer settee in the centre, +close to her, with an anxious expression.</span> +A hundred-and-twendy-five frangks a day?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Including nothing—absolutely nothing!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Biting his nails.</span> Prezisely! There’s +the eading and dringking.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>One can’t starve, that’s certain.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Which would amound to——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Watching him out of the corner of her +eye.</span> I believe aunt and I could manage to feed ourselves on +forty francs a day—or fifty—at a pinch.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">115</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His face growing longer and longer.</span> +A hundred-and-twendy-five—and fifdy——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>A hundred-and-seventy-five. <span class = "stagedir">Stroking his +hair with a finger.</span> Call it two hundred.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaning back appalled.</span> Fifdy-sigs +bounds a weeg!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Sixty, in round figures.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>For a fordnight?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Oh, no, dear; a fortnight’s no use.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>But one begomes sig of a blace afder a fordnight.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>If you only go for enjoyment; not if you go for rest—rest.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Three weegs, then?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>A month. Smythe gives me the whole of August.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">116</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Passing his hand across his forehead.</span> +A month!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and carefully picking a piece of +fluff from her skirt.</span> We’re losing this dance. Shall we have a +turn?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He gets to his feet with some difficulty and then faces her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Breathing heavily.</span> +Enid——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Guilelessly.</span> Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting his heels together and bowing to +her.</span> If you would permid me to be your bangker during your sday +at Ostend—four weegs——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Karl<ins class = "correction" title = "no punctuation visible in text">——</ins></p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>I should be mosd gradified.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to him.</span> I couldn’t. Such an +obligation!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bowing again.</span> On my side.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">117</span> +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Giving him her hands.</span> Of course, I’d +defray my travelling expenses, and tips and +incidentals——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising her hands to his lips.</span> +Ah!——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Not a penny of those should fall on you. <span class = +"stagedir">Withdrawing her hands quickly and backing away from +him.</span> H’sh!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> enters at the door on the left +and again wanders to the counter.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking another cigarette.</span> You’re +missing a very pretty waltz, Miss Moncreiff.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to the door on the left, <span class = +"smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> following her.</span> I was just +saying so to the Baron.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> disappear. <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> +lights his cigarette and is leaving the counter when <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span> enter at the right-hand door at the back, <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span> looking exceedingly sulky.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span>.</span> Ah, Miss Kato; ah, Sam! A pleasant party, +eh?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">118</span> +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shortly.</span> Yeth. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> goes out at the +right-hand door at the back. <span class = "smallcaps">De Castro</span> +crosses to the left and then turns to <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> Dam pleathant party!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dolefully.</span> Well, don’t make a +scene.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Thene! <i>I’m</i> not makin’ a thene. Walkin’ away from me in the +middle of a danthe and leavin’ me thtandin’ thtarin’ after you like a +detherted child! <i>You’re</i> makin’ the thene!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>I’m very sorry.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>I’m jutht ath good a waltzther ath anyone here, and better than +motht. <span class = "stagedir">Waving his arms.</span> If you’re tired +of me, announthe the fact quietly. Don’t go and wipe your bootth on me +in public, becauthe that hurtth my pride.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a little twist of her body.</span> +I can’t do more than apologise. First time I’ve ever done +<i>that</i> to a man.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to her, mollified.</span> I don’t +athk it, Gabth; I don’t athk it. All I athk——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the nearer settee in the +centre.</span> If I’m rude, +<span class = "pagenum">119</span> +it’s owing to my low spirits. I’m so shockingly low-spirited.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>I know you are, and I make allowanthes for yer. I repeat, all I +athk——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gazing at vacancy.</span> Mine’s a strange +nature. <i>On</i> the stage, I’m liveliness itself——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>A perfect little lump o’ talent! I’ve been tellin’ Carlton +tho—perthuadin’ him to introduthe an extra thong for you in Act +Two.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span>.</span> You have?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Yeth.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Did he promise to think it over?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Hith exthact wordth!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a hollow laugh.</span> Ha, ha, ha! +<span class = "stagedir">Resuming her former attitude.</span> As I was +remarking, I’m a mass of inconsistency. <i>On</i> the stage the +embodiment of elfish fun——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">120</span> +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>That wath in the <i>Mail</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> In the <i>Mail</i>. +<i>Off</i> the stage, I’m a sufferer from what’s called the artistic +temperature—no—temperament——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Uncomfortably, patting her shoulder.</span> +Po’ little girl; po’ little girl!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her melancholy increasing.</span> Sometimes +I’ve an idea that if I had a motor-car of my <i>own</i> I should feel +easier and happier.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a change of tone.</span> What d’ye +mean—motor-car of yer own? Mine’th alwayth at your dithpothal, +ithn’t it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Shaking her head.</span> That’s not the same +thing. Whenever I have yours out, I’m weighed down by a sense of +borrowing.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Well, if I gave you a new car, you’d be weighed down by a thenthe of +my havin’ paid for it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>At first I should, but not for long. Seeing my family crest on the +door-panels, instead of your +<span class = "pagenum">121</span> +monogram, ’ud help me to forget you’d had anything to do with it. <span +class = "stagedir">Gloomily.</span> Of course, it ’ud only be an +experiment. It might cheer me up, or it mightn’t.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The music ceases. A waiter carrying a tray enters at the door on the +left, goes behind the counter, and mixes some drinks.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a pause, loosening his collar—in +a low voice.</span> Here! We’d better dithcuth thith experiment. <span +class = "stagedir">Glancing over his shoulder at the waiter.</span> +Let’th come and thit in the pit.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising.</span> I can’t argue; my head’s too +bad for that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leading her to the double-door.</span> +I don’t want to argue; I thimply want to arrive at an +underthtandin’. Thuppothin’ I buy you a car, am I to be made an +arth of at the nexth danthe we happen to meet at—yeth or +no?——</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +They go out on to the landing and disappear as <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> hurries in at the right-hand door at the +back. His eyes are rather glassy and his utterance is a little +thick.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To the waiter, joining him behind the +counter.</span> Hi! Wake up, there! Gla’sodawa’erf’misspirch’nth’stage. +<span class = "stagedir">Distinctly.</span> Misspirch—on +th’stage—gla’—sodawa’er. I’ll have a whiskey. Wh’sthwhiskey? +Which—is—the—whiskey? Than’g. <span class = +"stagedir">Pouring some whiskey +<span class = "pagenum">122</span> +into a tumbler.</span> You take sodaw’er t’ Misspirch; I’ll mix m’own +whiskey. Loo’ sharp, sodaw’er Misspirch. <span class = "stagedir">The +waiter goes out with the drinks and <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>, glass in hand, comes to the nearer side of +the counter. He swallows his drink greedily, singing to himself between +the gulps.</span> “Oh, the gals! Oh, the gals! I am awfully fond of +the gals! <span class = "stagedir">Putting his empty glass upon the +counter and making for the door on the left.</span> Be they ebon or +blond, Of the gals I am fond; I am <i>dreadfully</i> fond of the +gals!”</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He vanishes as <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> enter at the right-hand door at the +back. There is an air of constraint and uneasiness about the girl. She +comes to the nearer settee in the centre and again picks up her bouquet. +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> follows her. They talk in +subdued voices and with frequent pauses.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Another ice?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rearranging a rose, almost inaudibly.</span> +No, thanks.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a pause.</span> I—I wish I had +given you a bouquet instead of a big, ugly basket.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Why?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>You—you might have brought it to the theatre, as you have that +one, and carried it about with you.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">123</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coldly.</span> I didn’t bring this to the +theatre.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>No?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I found it with a lot of other flowers at the stage-door. It’s from +the gallery boys—<span class = "stagedir">looking at him for a +moment steadily</span>—and I attach some value to it.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The bearded waiter enters at the right-hand door at the back, takes a +box of cigars from the counter, and goes out at the door on the left. +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> walks away from <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and seats herself upon the further settee +in the centre.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After the waiter has withdrawn, producing +his programme.</span> Number Nine. “<i>Two Step. Mind the Paint.</i>” +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Of course, you—you are engaged for +this?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>And you, surely?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>No, I—I kept it open, in case—in case——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Decidedly.</span> I dance it with +Morrie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Mr. Cooling?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">124</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Morrie Cooling.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After another pause, sitting, behind her, +upon the nearer settee.</span> Miss Parradell.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Well?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I wonder whether Mr. Cooling would let you off.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I shouldn’t dream of asking him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>No, but—may <i>I</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Haughtily.</span> I beg you’ll do nothing of +the sort.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Forgive me.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +There is a further pause and then she turns to him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Why I spoke so—so sharply to you—was——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>You didn’t speak sharply to me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Was because I’ve been very nasty with Morrie— +<span class = "pagenum">125</span> +wrote him a furious letter—and I want to make it up to him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Ah, yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I called him a pig, and other things; I hate myself for it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>A pig?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling.</span> Still, that’s no reason why +I should be nasty with <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughingly.</span> And call <i>me</i> a +pig.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Impulsively, kneeling upon the settee so +that she may compare her programme with his.</span> Look here! +Fifteen—the last but one. Are you fixed up for Fifteen?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I kept it open—in case——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Merrily.</span> Ha, ha—! <span class = +"stagedir">Checking herself, severely.</span> I <i>might</i> be +able to give you Fifteen. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> +<span class = "pagenum">126</span> +scribbles on his programme eagerly.</span> Don’t count on it, please; +but it’s booked to Mr. Fulkerson, and Bertie’s not always to be depended +upon at that hour.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Thank you—thank you—thank you. <span class = +"stagedir">She resumes her seat and he jumps up and goes to her.</span> +That reminds me. May I ask who is going to see you home, Miss +Parradell?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>See me home?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>It would be an honour that I should—appreciate—more than +I can—find words to express.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising, sternly.</span> I am very much +obliged to you. <span class = "stagedir">Walking away from him +again.</span> I dare say Mr. Roper will see me home—and Mr. +de Castro—and Mr. Bland——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Following her, unhappily.</span> I—I +hope—I—I hope I haven’t offended you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not in the least; <span class = "stagedir">in a frigid tone</span> +only I am in the habit of relying on old friends for those little +services.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> enters from the landing and +again wanders to the counter and to the cigarettes. The “Mind the Paint” +air, to the time of a Two Step, is played in the distance.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">127</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bowing to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> slightly and drawing himself up.</span> Shall +I—take you to Mr. Cooling?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With dignity, inclining her head.</span> +Will you? <span class = "stagedir">She is putting her hand through his +arm when the look upon his face softens her. She drops her voice to a +whisper.</span> Have I hurt you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Oh, I deserve the rebuke.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, you don’t. <span class = "stagedir">Gently.</span> You may leave +me at my door, with the others, if it will give you any +satisfaction.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +As they walk to the door on the left, they are met by <span class = +"smallcaps">Cooling</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +breathlessly.</span> Haw! Here you are!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, her manner altering completely.</span> +Come on, Morrie! <span class = "stagedir">Her feet moving to the +music.</span> Tra, lal, la! Tra, lal, la! <span class = +"stagedir">Giving her bouquet to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Hi-i-i-i-i! Bring my flowers!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Cooling and Lily.</p> + +<p>Tra, lal, la! Tra, lal, la——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +They run out, half dancing.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">128</span> +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who is following them.</span> Lord +Farncombe!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to him.</span> Will you spare me a +moment?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">A little impatiently.</span> +Er—certainly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laying a shaky hand on <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> arm and leading him away from the +door.</span> Excuse me for what I’m going to say to you. +I—I know your father—knew him very well years +ago—and your mother. <span class = "stagedir">With deep +feeling.</span> My boy—my dear boy——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Surprised.</span> Colonel?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>I—I—I’m sorry to find you in this set.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stiffly.</span> What do you mean?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Don’t be angry with me. I’m an old man—and an old fool; but +it’s from the fools that the useful lessons are to be learned.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">129</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Withdrawing his arm from <span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span>.</span> I really don’t understand +you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Stidulph.</p> + +<p>Try to. Not now—another time; when this music isn’t exciting +you, nor these pretty women. Think it out by yourself! You’re at the +beginning of your career, my boy. Remember me—the old fool who’s +brought <i>his</i> to a miserable end—and that I cautioned +you—cautioned you—!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> hurries in at the door on the +left, followed by a waiter carrying a tray, and by the waiter with the +beard.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing.</span> He, he, he, he! <span class += "stagedir">Behind the counter, preparing drinks.</span> Look out, +gentlemen; you are losing it all. They are having a +romp—a fine lark. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> goes out at the door on the left.</span> +Make haste, Colonel; make haste! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Stidulph</span> goes out, slowly, at the right-hand door at +the back.</span> Whiskey-and-soda for Mr. Tavish; liqueur of +brandy—Mr. Grimwood. <span class = "stagedir">The waiter carrying +the tray goes out with the drinks at the door on the left.</span> Ha, +ha, ha! <span class = "stagedir">Singing to the music.</span> Tra, lal, +la! Tra, lal, la——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> is following the waiter who has +carried out the tray when the bearded waiter, coming to the nearer +settee in the centre, calls to him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Bearded Waiter.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the settee, gruffly.</span> +Luigi.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">130</span> +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Halting.</span> Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Bearded Waiter.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking out a handful of money and selecting +some gold from it.</span> Here! <span class = "stagedir">Putting the +gold into <span class = "smallcaps">Luigi’s</span> palm.</span> For your +chaps.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p>Oh, you are spoiling them.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Bearded Waiter.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Giving some more gold pieces to <span class += "smallcaps">Luigi</span>.</span> For you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bowing low.</span> Thank you very much. +<span class = "stagedir">With a polite grin, as he disposes of the coins +in different pockets.</span> Hope you have enjoyed yourself, +Captain.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Bearded Waiter.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Speaking in the voice of <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Thoroughly. <span class = +"stagedir">Quietly, between his teeth.</span> Warm work, though! <span +class = "stagedir">Rising slowly, like a man with stiff joints.</span> +I’ll be off now, with your permission.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p>See you at lunch, Captain?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Probably. <span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Good-night. Good +morning. <span class = "stagedir">He slouches away to the door on the +left and there stops, listening. There is the sound of people +approaching, +<span class = "pagenum">131</span> +singing uproariously and shouting and laughing.</span> Hullo!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Luigi.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At his elbow.</span> Ho, ho, ho, ho!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span> goes out into the corridor and +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> retreats behind the counter. The +noise increases and presently <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> +rushes in, flourishing his arms madly. He is followed by <span class = +"smallcaps">Glynn</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Shirley</span> +who are carrying <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> upon their +interlocked hands, and by <span class = "smallcaps">Palk</span> who is +helping to support her. Then come <span class = +"smallcaps">Heneage</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Nita</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Grimwood</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Tavish</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Flo</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, <span +class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Stidulph</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Evangeline</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Cooling</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Sybil</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">Smythe</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Olga</span>. Singing the chorus of the “Mind the Paint” +song, and dancing to it wildly, they circle the saloon twice, go out at +the right-hand door at the back, return at the door on the left, and +finally disappear through the double-door and along the landing. The +waiters, who have brought up the rear of the procession, gather, with +<span class = "smallcaps">Luigi</span>, in the left-hand corner, +clapping their hands, and <span class = "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> +returns, entering at the right-hand door at the back.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Waving her bouquet and shrieking with +laughter.</span> Ha, ha, ha, ha! Don’t drop me! Don’t drop me!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">132</span> +<p class = "speaker">Heneage and Grimwood.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Yelling.</span> Whoop! Whoop!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Deliriously, endeavouring to stand upon his +head.</span> Wh-o-o-op!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Breaking from the rank and jumping on to the +further settee—singing.</span> “Mind the paint! Mind the paint! +A girl is not a sinner just because she’s not a +saint!——”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha! You’ll drop me! Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +As the procession passes out of sight, followed by <span class = +"smallcaps">Luigi</span> and the waiters, <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> departs at the door on the left and <span class += "smallcaps">Stidulph</span> once more goes to the counter and lights a +cigarette.</p> + +<h4 class = "end">END OF THE SECOND ACT.</h4> + + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">133</span> +<h3 class = "act"><a name = "act3" id = "act3">THE THIRD ACT</a></h3> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The scene is <span class = "smallcaps">Lily’s</span> +boudoir—a room upon the second floor of her house, adjoining +her bedroom. The decorations, though delicate, are gay, with a good deal +of pink in them.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In the wall facing the spectator are two doors, one on the left, the +other in the centre. The left-hand door opens into the room from the +landing, where the staircase is shown; the centre door admits to the +bedroom. In the right-hand wall there are two sash-windows giving a view +of the tops of trees growing in a square; in the opposite wall, the +grate hidden by a low, painted screen, is the fireplace.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +A prettily designed “fitment” runs along the left-hand wall and the +further wall, taking in the fireplace and doors as part of its scheme. +On either side of the fireplace there is a cupboard with drawers beneath +it; between the door on the left and the door in the centre is a similar +cupboard; and on the right of the centre door, extending to the +right-hand wall, there is a wardrobe with sliding doors. The cupboard +doors are glazed and curtained in pink silk.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +In the middle of the room, a little to the right, there is a large and +comfortable settee, and on the +<span class = "pagenum">134</span> +left of the settee is a table littered with books, magazines, +a scent-atomizer, a small silver-framed mirror, a case of +manicure instruments, a box of cigarettes and a match-stand, and +other odds and ends. Behind the table there is a fauteuil-stool, and on +the right of the table a cosy arm-chair. A second arm-chair stands +apart, between the table in the centre and the fireplace.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +On the extreme left of the room, on the nearer side of the fireplace, +there is a box-ottoman; on the other side of the room, by the nearer +window, are a small writing-table and chair; standing across the +right-hand corner, the key-board towards the further window, are a +cottage-piano and a music-stool; and at the back of the piano there is +another small chair, with some soiled gloves upon it.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +A quantity of music is heaped untidily on the top of the piano; one of +the wardrobe doors is open, revealing some dresses hanging within; and +the edge of a lace petticoat, with its insertion of coloured ribbon, +peeps out from under the carelessly-closed lid of the box-ottoman. Two +milliner’s hat-boxes are on the floor by the ottoman, and a pair of +satin slippers are lying, one here, one there, under the centre +table.</p> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The window-blinds are down but the daylight is seen through them.</p> + + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The door on the left opens and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +still carrying her bouquet, enters and makes straight for the windows +and draws up the blinds, letting in the clear, morning light. She is +followed by <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and they by <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, +<span class = "pagenum">135</span> +<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>, and <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>. They are all pale and haggard, and slightly +dishevelled, but everybody seems broad awake except <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span>, who is borne down by sleepiness. Some of the +men are smoking.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laying her bouquet upon the table in the +centre as she crosses to the windows—to the women.</span> Come in, +dears; <span class = "stagedir">drawing up the blind of the nearer +window</span> come in, boys. Take off your things for a minute.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Whose inebriety has reached the +argumentative stage.</span> Working classhes! Don’ talk t’ me ’bout th’ +working classhes!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>H’sh! Shut up, Bertie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p>I’m s’h’ick o’ th’ ve’y mention o’ th’ name—working +classhes!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Sit on his head, somebody. We shall wake Ma and the servants.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking off her wrap and hanging it up in the +wardrobe.</span> Don’t worry; you won’t wake <i>my</i> servants. And +mother’s bound to hear us; she sleeps so lightly when I’m out.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">136</span> +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gaping violently.</span> Oh-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Clapping her hand over <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne’s</span> mouth.</span> Manners!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Depositing his overcoat and hat upon the +fauteuil-stool.</span> One ’ud ’magine th’ working-man’sh th’ on’y +pershon who ever does day’sh work! Ridiculush!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer and Bland.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Thome truth in what Bertie’th thayin’, though. For +inthtanthe——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With great disgust.</span> Br’ish +working-man!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>By Jove, yes! When I think o’ the work Mr. Lionel Hesketh Roper +manages to dispose of in the course of a day——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span> have placed their overcoats and hats upon +the chair at the back of the piano and <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> have piled theirs on the +arm-chair on the left. <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> throw their wraps upon the settee, +<span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span> drops hers upon the box-ottoman, +and +<span class = "pagenum">137</span> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> puts hers over the arm of the +chair by the centre table.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To everybody.</span> I’ll just run upstairs +and tell mother that all’s serene. <span class = "stagedir">She goes to +the door on the left; <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe, Bland</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> get in each other’s way in +their desire to open it for her.</span> If any of you want a drink, you +must hunt for it yourselves in the dining-room. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> You play +host, Uncle Lal.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She disappears, turning to the left and ascending the stairs.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Briskly.</span> Now, then, give your orders, +gents! <span class = "stagedir">Coming forward.</span> Ladies, don’t all +speak at once.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Making for the door.</span> I’ll have sma’ +whiskeyan’ soda.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He goes along the landing and down the stairs.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Following him.</span> No, no! Bertie! +Bertie——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Seated in the arm-chair by the centre +table—to <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Stop it. +We’ll have trouble enough to get that boy home as it is.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> hurries out after <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson. Von +Rettenmayer</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> also +move to the door.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">138</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, +who is sitting with <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> on the +settee.</span> Enid——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>A glass of soda-water.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Same for me, Von.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Jimmie——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>No, thanks.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking down upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span>, who has curled herself up on the box-ottoman +and is already asleep—sentimentally.</span> +Baby—baby——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Half sighing, half moaning.</span> +Ah-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Von +Rettenmayer</span>.</span> Don’t disturb her. Let her have her snooze in +peace.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Still contemplating <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span>.</span> Shall I bring you your boddle, you +preddy liddle baby?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Annoyed.</span> Don’t be an idiot, Karl. +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>, +who is talking to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> +Sam, will <i>you</i> fetch me some soda-water?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">139</span> +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, +bestirring himself.</span> I beg bardon.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He goes out, with <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span>. <span +class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> has taken the mirror from the table and +now looks at herself in it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>What a sight! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> I wonder whether Lil would +mind me going into her bedroom?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking the mirror from <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>.</span> Of course she wouldn’t. <span class = +"stagedir">Viewing herself with dismay.</span> Oh, I’m yellower than +you!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She jumps up, throwing the mirror upon the settee, and goes to the door +in the centre. <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> follows her and the +two girls open the door narrowly and withdraw. <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> rises and picks up the mirror.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With one knee upon the settee, surveying +herself.</span> Ugh, you lovely creature! <span class = +"stagedir">Glancing at <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> as she +readjusts a comb, and finding that he is gazing at her earnestly.</span> +Turn your face to the wall, please; I’m about to use my puff.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Suddenly, with rapid movements, he shuts the door on the left, gives a +quick look at <span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span>, assures himself +that the centre door is closed, and comes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>. She stares at him in astonishment.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">140</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Standing at the back of the settee—in +a low voice.</span> Miss Birch, you’re Miss Parradell’s friend—her +great friend. Will you be a friend of mine too, and do me a service?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Startled.</span> It—it all +depends——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Beg her to allow me to remain behind, with you, for a few minutes +after the others have gone.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Remain—you and I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>And then, if she will, will you wait in the next room while I speak +to her? Miss Birch, I—I must speak to her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>W-w-wouldn’t—to-morrow——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>It <i>is</i> to-morrow <i>now</i>. It’s day.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping her eyes.</span> She’s tired.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Five minutes—no longer. <span class = +"stagedir">Entreatingly.</span> Won’t you try to arrange it for me?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">141</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pursing her lips.</span> H’m! <i>I’d</i> +stay; delighted. <span class = "stagedir">Demurely.</span> It doesn’t +matter how tired <i>I</i> feel.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Contritely.</span> I’m a brute!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>But I really think the <i>arranging</i> is your job, Lord +Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I know I should make a bungle of it with all these people round me, +and attract attention. <i>You’re</i> clever.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising her eyes to his, abruptly.</span> +Look here! Do I guess correctly?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>What——?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She pulls him towards her and whispers into his ear. He nods. She +whispers again, breathlessly, and then releases him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Eh? Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Drawing back and facing her, firmly.</span> +Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Walking away, in a flutter.</span> Oh! Oh! +Oh!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">142</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>You’ll help me? <span class = "stagedir">She pauses, +deliberating.</span> You’ll help me?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Returning to him, with an air of +prudence.</span> I tell you what I <i>will</i> do. <span class = +"stagedir">Pointing to the writing-table.</span> Scribble her a +note—a line—and I’ll give it to her. That won’t attract +attention. I’ve no objection to do <i>that</i> for you. Hurry up! <span +class = "stagedir">He sits at the writing-table and searches for writing +materials.</span> In the drawer. <span class = "stagedir">He opens a +drawer and takes out a sheet of note-paper. Standing at the other side +of the table, she selects a pen and hands it to him.</span> A “J” +suit you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking the pen from her.</span> What shall I +say?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Ho, ho! Well, I <i>never</i>! <span class = "stagedir">He +writes.</span> Oh, but it isn’t exactly a love-letter, is it? Simply +say—what was the expression you used just now?—“will you +allow me to remain behind for a few minutes with Miss Birch after the +others have gone?”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Writing.</span> Thank you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a little wriggle.</span> Call me Jimmie +if you like.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Thank you.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">143</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Knitting her brow thoughtfully.</span> +I suppose you ought to give her an inkling, though—the merest +hint—of the <i>reason</i>, oughtn’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking up.</span> Ought I?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Well, you don’t want her to think it’s only to chat about the +weather——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>For heaven’s sake, don’t chaff me! <span class = +"stagedir">writing</span> “—after the others have gone?” <span +class = "stagedir">Biting his pen.</span> How would this do? “I know I +am presuming a lot, but I—I can’t leave +you—I can’t leave you till I—till I have asked +you—till I have asked you the most important question a man can +put to a woman.”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Oh, but that’s ideal! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> reappears.</span> Dash these girls! <span +class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>, whose +complexion is much improved.</span> Lord Farncombe is writing me out a +remedy for freckles. Isn’t it sweet of him?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Mournfully.</span> Freckles! If you want to +see a martyr to freckles, knock at <i>my</i> door.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> returns, with lips that are a +little too red, as <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> re-enter at the door on the +left. They leave the +<span class = "pagenum">144</span> +door open. <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> is carrying +a syphon of soda-water and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> +two tumblers. The men put the syphon and tumblers on the centre table +and <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> fills the glasses +and he and <span class = "smallcaps">de Castro</span> hand them to <span +class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> I hobe we haf +nod kepd you waiding.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Bertie’th been makin’ himthelf a reg’lar nuithanthe downthairth.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Poor Bertie! Pity he has this little failing.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With mild enthusiasm.</span> Yes, there’s +not a nicer boy in London than Bertie, bar that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Flieth to hith head tho!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The four continue talking. <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> has +gone back to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who is still +writing, and is watching him impatiently.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, under her breath.</span> Do be quick!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Hastily he blots his note and folds it. <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>, +and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> appear on the landing, +issuing from the staircase, and +<span class = "pagenum">145</span> +there they are joined by <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, who +comes down the stairs.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">On the landing, to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, indignantly.</span> +Lirry—Misspa’dell——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Here she is!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>.</span> Now, then; have it out with +Lily!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What’s wrong?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> rises and slips his note into +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie’s</span> hand.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Mosht unjusht’fiable treatmen’ ’n th’ +part ’f these gen’lemen!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Listening, with the others at the centre +table, to what is going on upon the landing.</span> Ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, over her shoulder.</span> Good luck!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> The youth is irate with us for cutting +off supplies.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> enters with <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>; <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and +<span class = "pagenum">146</span> +<span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> following. <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> strolls over to the piano, laughing.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> M’ argumen’ is this. When a gen’leman’sh +invited b’ th’ lady ’f th’ house t’ partake ’f +refreshmen’——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>.</span> Be quiet, Bertie, or I’ll box your +ears. <span class = "stagedir">Joining the group at the centre +table.</span> Ho, ho! I’ve had such a wigging for asking you up. Mother +says we girls’ll look as ugly as sin on the stage to-night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>So we shall—hags.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre +table.</span> I feel as fresh as paint. <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>.</span> Give me a sip.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">De Castro</span> hands <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle’s</span> glass to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gazing <ins class = "correction" title = +"printed in Roman (non-Italic) type">at</ins> <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span> stupidly and singing to himself.</span> “Oh, +the gals! Oh, the gals! I am awfully fond of the +gals!——”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer, Roper, de Castro, Enid and +Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Chiming in with <span class = +"smallcaps">Fulkerson</span> lightly.</span> “Be they ebon or blond, Of +the gals I am fond;——”! Ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">147</span> +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p>H’sh, h’sh! Ma’s quite right. <span class = "stagedir">Seating +himself at the piano.</span> One more turn and then let’s clear out.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Jumping up.</span> Hurrah! <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, as <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> runs his hands over the key-board.</span> Shut +the door, Uncle Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>Aha! One more durn! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>.</span> Enid——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Singing.</span> “I am dreadfully fond of the +gals!”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Closing the door.</span> Choose your +partners, gents! <span class = "stagedir">Very softly <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland</span> plays the melody of a languorous song and +instantly <span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">de +Castro</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> dance to +it—<span class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> at the back, <span class = +"smallcaps">de Castro</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Gabrielle</span> near the piano.</span> +Jimmie——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> passes <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> to go to <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>. +As she does so, she presses <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> +note into <span class = "smallcaps">Lily’s</span> palm.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, in +a whisper.</span> Rat-tat, says the postman! <span class = +"stagedir">Catching hold of <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and +swinging him round.</span> La, ra, ral, la——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who is standing by the +writing-table.</span> Lord Farncombe——?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">148</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> goes to her and they dance +together.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span>, +tapping her on the shoulder.</span> Missdure, may I have th’ grea’ +pleasure——? <span class = "stagedir">Shaking her.</span> +Missdure—Missdure——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Starting up.</span> Oh! <span class = +"stagedir">Looking round wildly.</span> Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dancing with her.</span> Pray ’xcuse th’ +absence ’f gloves.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Daphne.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Faintly.</span> Oh! Oh, I—I thought +I’d gone to bed!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +With their hands on each other’s shoulders, the couples, swaying from +side to side, half sing, half murmur, the refrain of the song.</p> + +<a name = "song" id = "song"> </a> +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/paintsong.png" width = "470" height = "748" +alt = "melody and piano score"> +</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a href = "files/paintsong.midi" target = "_blank">MIDI file</a>:<br> +Depending on your browser, the music may play automatically, or may need +to be downloaded and opened in a separate application.<br> +<a href = "files/paintsong.ly" target = "_blank">Raw lilypond file</a> +(convertible to other music-notation formats)<br> +<a href = "files/paintsong.pdf" target = "_blank">PDF image</a> +(generated by lilypond)<br> +</p> + +<div class = "song"> +<p>If you would only, only love me;</p> +<p>If you would +<span class = "pagenum">149</span> +merely, merely say,</p> +<p>Wait but a little, little for me,</p> +<p>I will be yours, be yours some day!</p> +</div> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The refrain is repeated, the dancers droning to it with a, buzzing +sound, and then <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span> returns to the +melody.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As she dances, recollecting the note she is +holding and opening it.</span> What’s this? <span class = +"stagedir">Reading the note, her arm resting upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> shoulder.</span> “Dear Miss Parradell.... +<span class = "stagedir">glancing at the signature</span> Farncombe”! +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> From you!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">150</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Reading.</span> “Will you allow me +to——?”</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She reads to the end silently, and then she stops dancing and they stand +for a moment looking confusedly at each other. Then, with an +expressionless face, she slips the note into her dress and they dance +again, singing the refrain as before.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the finish, shutting down the lid of the +piano and rising.</span> Ladies and gentlemen, the festivities connected +with Miss Parradell’s birthday are over. <span class = +"stagedir">Leaving the piano.</span> Our lives will now resume their +normal, serious course.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Regretfully.</span> Ah-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The ladies put on their wraps, the men their overcoats, and there is a +great deal of stir and chatter. <span class = "smallcaps">De +Castro</span> assists <span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>; <span +class = "smallcaps">Von Rettenmayer</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Enid</span>; <span class = "smallcaps">Fulkerson</span>, +<span class = "smallcaps">Daphne</span>; and <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>. +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> joins in the talk and bustle with +forced animation. <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> and <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> glance at her, and then, +inquiringly, at one another.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting on his overcoat with <span class = +"smallcaps">Bland’s</span> help.</span> Well, +<span class = "pagenum">151</span> +nobody can say the affair hasn’t been a brilliant success; that’s one +comfort.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p>Wouldn’t be true if they did. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class += "smallcaps">de Castro</span>, irritably.</span> You’ve got it +inside-out.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span> and +<span class = "smallcaps">Gabrielle</span>, kneeling upon the +settee.</span> Ah, yes, haven’t we had a splendid, splendid time!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>Splendid!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p>A gharming pardy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>Abtholutely A 1!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Singing.</span> “Venus, seinen Nacken beut +Dir Dein Sklave, dienstbereit!”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Running to <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and seizing his hands.</span> A vote of +thanks to Lal for his share in getting it up!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Bland.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Slapping <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> on the back.</span> Bravo, Lal!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Others.</p> + +<p>Bravo, Lal!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">152</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Walking about.</span> And to Carlton! Bravo, +Carlton!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Others.</p> + +<p>Bravo, Carlton! Bravo, Smythe!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting on his overcoat.</span> Don’t forget +Morrie Coolin’!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, don’t forget Morrie. Dear old Morrie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Others.</p> + +<p>Bravo, Morrie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">De Castro.</p> + +<p>There hathn’t been a hitch from thtart to finish, in fact.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the nearer side of the table +again.</span> Not a hitch.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Fulkerson.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Remembering his grievance.</span> I beg yo’ +par’n—no’ a ’itch! <span class = "stagedir">In difficulties with +his overcoat.</span> When a gen’leman’sh invited b’ th’ lady ’f th’ +house t’ partake ’f some refreshmen’——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Some of the Others.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gabrielle.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and kissing her.</span> So long, dear.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">153</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Enid</span>, <span class = +"smallcaps">Daphne</span>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +also come to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, who embraces them +demonstratively, and the men follow.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To the girls.</span> Ta-ta; ta-ta; ta-ta! +I won’t come down.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Enid.</p> + +<p>No, no; we’ll let ourselves out. <span class = "stagedir">Leaving +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Till to-night!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Till to-night! <span class = "stagedir">Shaking hands with the +men.</span> Ta-ta; ta-ta; ta-ta!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">The Men.</p> + +<p>Ta-ta! Ta-ta! Ta-ta!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Von Rettenmayer.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Kissing her hand slyly.</span> Goddess!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Bland</span>, +in a whisper.</span> Take care of Bertie. <span class = +"stagedir">Everybody moves to the door, except <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> who remains standing in the middle of the room. +Some are on the landing, some in the doorway, when she calls to <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Uncle Lal! Jimmie! I want to +speak to you two for a second. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +detach themselves from the rest and return.</span> Oh—and Lord +Farncombe! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> also returns and <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, passing him, goes on to the landing and mixes +with the others.</span> Be off; Lord Farncombe and Lal will look after +Jimmie. Vincent, <i>you</i> close the front-door. No noise! Au revoir, +mes enfants! <span class = "stagedir">She watches them +<span class = "pagenum">154</span> +descend the stairs and, her manner softening, comes back into the +room.</span> Lord Farncombe wants to have a quiet talk with me, Uncle +Lal—about—about something, and he’s asked me to let him +remain behind with Jimmie for a few minutes. <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> But there’s no necessity +for you to wait, dear.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Don’t consider me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>But I do. Go upstairs and tell mother that Lord Farncombe’s with me. +Say I promise he shan’t stay long. <span class = "stagedir">To <span +class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> You’ll take Jimmie home, won’t +you, Lal?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His eyes bolting.</span> W-w-with +pleasure.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> I shall see you again later in the +day, perhaps?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Rather! <span class = "stagedir">Throwing her arms round <span class += "smallcaps">Lily’s</span> neck and pressing her cheek to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span>.</span> Rather! <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, significantly.</span> Sit in the +hall till I’m ready.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She runs out on to the landing, pausing at the door to bestow a parting +nod and a smile upon <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, and +ascends the stairs.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a state of great excitement and +exhilaration—to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Yes, +yes, I won’t keep you and— <span class = "stagedir">winking +at her and jerking his head in <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> direction</span> +<span class = "pagenum">155</span> +from your <i>tête-à-tête</i>. <span class = "stagedir">Patting her face +gleefully.</span> Ha, ha, ha, ha! <span class = "stagedir">Taking her +hand, his own quivering.</span> Lil, Uncle Lal you call me, but I’ve +always felt more like a parent towards you—acted as such, hey?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Y-y-yes, Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>And any happiness that befalls you—any happiness that befalls +you— <span class = "stagedir">choking</span> I’ll leave it there. +God bless yer; God bless yer! <span class = "stagedir">bustling over to +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> who, his hat in his hand, his +overcoat on his arm, is standing near the piano</span> and God bless +<i>you</i>, my lad! <span class = "stagedir">incoherently</span> I’m +proud—proud to have the honour—and to have been the means +of—the means of— <span class = "stagedir">wringing <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> hand</span> God bless you both! +<span class = "stagedir">He goes to the door and there finds <span class += "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> I—I—I—I’ll drop in +by-and-by and—and—and inquire after you, my pet.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Faintly.</span> All right, Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Patting her face again.</span> Ha, ha, ha, +ha! <span class = "stagedir">With a hop.</span> Wurrr-roo! Stand away +from the lift; no more passengers this journey!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He waves to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> gaily and +departs, closing the door. There is a short silence and then <span class += "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> places his hat and overcoat upon the +chair by the piano and turns to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">156</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a low voice.</span> It’s awfully kind and +gracious of you to have granted my request, and frightfully selfish of +me to have made it. I deserve to be kicked.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Slowly advancing to the table in the +centre—avoiding his gaze.</span> Is—is Jimmie aware of +precisely what’s in your note?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Y-y-yes. <span class = "stagedir">Drawing nearer to her.</span> +I hope you won’t be angry with me for confiding in her. You see, +I—I——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the further side of the table, fingering +one of the objects upon it.</span> And <i>she’ll</i> confide in Uncle +Lal. <span class = "stagedir">Shrugging her shoulders.</span> Oh, but +dear old Lal appears to have summed up the situation pretty accurately +as it is. <span class = "stagedir">With an artificial little +laugh.</span> Ha, ha, ha! Well, I’m afraid they’ll be horribly +disappointed, poor wretches.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Blankly.</span> Disap-pointed?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising her eyes to his and shaking her head +at him.</span> You—you silly boy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to her quickly.</span> Ah, +please—please don’t take that tone with me. I’m no boy. And I’m +simply +<span class = "pagenum">157</span> +mad about you. If you don’t marry me, I—I—I’m done for.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>H’sh! Nonsense; not you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>It’s true. Life’ll be over for me from that moment, if you refuse to +marry me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Mockingly.</span> Over!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Oh, love is all on my side at present, naturally; but, as God hears +me, it’ll be no fault of mine if you don’t grow to love me in time.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Listen——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I’ll worship you—worship you. I <i>do</i> worship you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>H’sh! Lord Farncombe——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><i>Eddie!</i> Won’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Certainly not.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Do! Eddie! Eddie!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">158</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Eddie, then——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Ah——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Sit down a minute. <span class = "stagedir">She goes to the settee +and sits there, somewhat ruffled, and he moves to the arm-chair by the +centre table and also sits, his elbows on his knees, bending towards +her. She pushes her hair back from her brow impatiently, as if vexed +with herself.</span> Lord Farncombe—Eddie—for how long have +you known me?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>What does it matter? I—I admit——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Reckoning our acquaintance from last week—from the afternoon +Bertie brought you here, when we scarcely spoke to one another—you +haven’t known me for as many days as you can count on your fingers.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I’ve watched you—watched you in the theatre——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>On the stage! Ho, ho! Oh, you—but I mustn’t call you silly boy +again, must I! And what do you know <i>of</i> me, apart from the +glimpse you’ve had of me off the stage, and my being a shining light at +the Pandora? What do you know of my—what’s the +word?—origin—where and what I’ve sprung from; +<span class = "pagenum">159</span> +how I was reared; how much education I’ve received; how much I’ve +contrived to pick up of the way to behave in <i>per</i>lite society? You +can judge from poor mother, if from nothing else, that I come from +humble beginnings. Yes, but <i>how</i> humble you couldn’t <i>dream</i>, +<span class = "stagedir">making a grimace</span> not after a supper of +raw carrots!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Do you think I <i>care</i> how humble your beginnings were! What I do +know—what I <i>am</i> sure about—is that you’re +good—and beautiful—and—and—and +gifted—and—and— <span class = "stagedir">leaning his +head on his hands</span> oh, I can’t describe you; +you’re—you’re—to me, you’re <i>perfect</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a pause, looking at him with blinking +eyelids.</span> You—you <i>dear</i>! <span class = "stagedir">He +raises his head. She changes her tone instantly.</span> <i>Merci</i>; +yes, perfect, <i>pour le moment</i>. Hear my French! <span class = +"stagedir">Taking the box of cigarettes from the table.</span> Have a +cigarette? Don’t get up. <span class = "stagedir">She tosses him a +cigarette and he catches it.</span> My name’s printed on +them—“Lily.” <span class = "stagedir">Lighting a cigarette.</span> +Isn’t it <i>chic</i>!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Producing his cigarette case and exchanging +her cigarette for one of his own.</span> I’ll never smoke +<i>that</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pushing the match-stand towards him.</span> +<i>Stoo</i>pid! Now, attend to me. What do you say to a tiny provision +shop in Kennington, over the water?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">160</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Was that——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> H’m; that was my start in +the world. Father kept a small shop in Kennington—Gladwin Street, +near the Oval. We sold groceries, and butter and eggs and cheese, and +pickled-pork and paraffin. I was born there—on the second +floor; and in Gladwin Street I lived till I was fourteen. Then father +smashed, through the Stores cutting into our little trade. Well, hardly +smashed; that’s too imposing. The business just faded, and one morning +we didn’t bother to take the shutters down. Then, after a while, father +got a starvation berth—eighteen shillings a week!—at a +wholesale bacon warehouse—Price and Moseley’s—still over the +water; and I earned an extra five at a place in the Westminster Bridge +Road, for pasting the gilt edges on to passe-partouts from nine a.m. +till six in the evening.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His head bowed again.</span> Great +heavens!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not a syllable against the passe-partouts! They were the making of +me. It was the passe-partouts that brought me and Tedder together.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Who?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Tedder. In the house where I worked, a man of +<span class = "pagenum">161</span> +the name of Tedder—Ambrose Tedder—taught dancing—stage +dancing—“Tedder’s Academy of Saltatory Art”—and every time I +passed Tedder’s door, and heard his violin or piano, and the sound of +the pupils’ feet, I—! <span class = "stagedir">Breaking off and +throwing herself back.</span> Oh, lor’, if once I——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Go on; go on.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Well, ultimately Tedder took me and trained me—did it for +nix—for what he hoped to get out of me in the future. Ah, and he +<i>hasn’t</i> lost over me—poor old Ambrose! He collared a third +of my salary for ever so long; and now that the old chap’s rheumaticky +and worn out, I—oh, it’s not worth mentioning. <span class = +"stagedir">Jumping up and walking away.</span> My stars, he could teach, +could Tedder! I began by going to him for the last twenty minutes +of my dinner-hour. He wanted to stop <i>that</i>, because it was bad for +me, he said, to practise on a full—a full—! Ha, ha, ha! +On a <i>full</i>—! <span class = "stagedir">Behind the table, +resting her two hands upon it and shaking with laughter.</span> Ho, ho, +ho! As if I ever had—in those days——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Writhing.</span> Ah, +don’t—don’t——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Brushing the tears from her eyes.</span> +I was a pupil of Tedder’s for twelve months, and then he got me on +at the Canterbury; and from the Canterbury I went to Gatti’s, and from +Gatti’s to the Lane, for a few lines +<span class = "pagenum">162</span> +in the pantomime and an understudy—my first appearance in the West +End— <span class = "stagedir">singing</span> “Oh, the West End is +the best end!”—and from there I went to the old Strand, and there +Morrie Cooling spotted me, and that led to me being engaged at the +Pandora, where I ate my heart out, doing next to nothing, for two whole +years. Then came the production of <i>The Duchess of Brixton</i>, and it +was in <i>The Duchess</i>—thanks to Vincent Bland—that I +sang the “Mind the Paint” song. He believed in me, did Vincent; +<i>he</i> saw I was fit for something more than just prancing about, and +airing my ankles, in a gay frock. By Jupiter, how he fought for me; +<i>how</i> he fought for me, up to the final rehearsal! And to this day, +whenever I indulge in a prayer, you bet Vincent Bland has a paragraph +all to himself in it! <span class = "stagedir">Checking herself and +coming to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Oh, +but—I needn’t inflict quite so much of my biography on you, +need I? <span class = "stagedir">He rises.</span> Sorry. I merely +wanted to tell you enough to show you—to show +you——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Close to her, gazing into her eyes.</span> +To show me what a—what a <i>marvel</i> you are!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pleased.</span> Ha, ha! Oh, I’m not chucking +mud at myself really. Why should I! Many a woman ’ud feel as vain as a +peacock in my shoes. Fancy! From the shop in Gladwin Street to— +<span class = "stagedir">with a gesture</span> to <i>this</i>! And from +Tedder’s stuffy room in the Westminster Bridge Road to the stage of the +Pandora, as principal girl!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">163</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Tenderly.</span> Wonderful!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Carried away by her narration and putting +her hands upon his shoulders familiarly.</span> Yes, and all the +schooling I’ve ever had, Eddie, was at a cheap, frowsy day-school in +Kennington, with a tribe of other common, skinny-legged brats. Imagine +it!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking her hands.</span> I can’t imagine it; +I defy anybody to.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Unthinkingly allowing him to retain her +hands.</span> Everything I’ve learned since—except my music, and +that I owe to Tedder and Vincent—everything I’ve learned since, +I’ve learned by sheer cuteness, from novels, the papers, the theatres, +and by keeping my ears open like a cunning little parrot. <span class = +"stagedir">Softly.</span> Ha, ha! That’s what I am—a cunning +little parrot!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing with her.</span> Ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Tossing her head.</span> Ho, I dare say, if +I had the opportunity, I could imitate the fine <i>ly</i>dies +<i>you</i> mix with, so that in less than six months you’d hardly know +the difference between them and me!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">164</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Holding her hands to his breast.</span> +There is no difference already; there <i>is</i> none.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Isn’t there! <span class = "stagedir">Almost nestling up to +him.</span> Ah, you should see me in one of my vile tempers. <span class += "stagedir">Wistfully.</span> Then—then you wouldn’t—! +<span class = "stagedir">Becoming conscious of her proximity to him, she +backs away and stands rubbing the palms of her hands together in +embarrassment.</span> Anyhow—anyhow it isn’t my intention to give +you a chance of comparing us.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Under his breath.</span> Oh—Miss +Parradell——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Collecting herself.</span> No, I—I’m +not going to let you make a fool of yourself over <i>me</i>, if I can +help it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Fool——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Facing him and speaking quietly but +firmly.</span> Recollect, however shrewd and apt I may be, and however +straight I’ve managed to keep myself, still—I’m only a Pandora +girl, and should always be remembered as one by your chums and +belongings. Only a Pandora girl. Nothing can alter that, dear boy; and +you mustn’t—you mustn’t handicap yourself by hanging <i>me</i> +round your neck.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">165</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Heavily.</span> I—I shouldn’t be the +first of my sort to marry a “Pandora girl,” not by half a dozen or +more.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, but—without wishing to flatter you—I don’t quite +put you on a level with Robbie Kinterton, and Glenroy, and Georgie +Fawcus, and—that crew. <span class = "stagedir">Cheerfully.</span> +And so I mean to take care of you—to take care of you for your own +sake and for your mammy’s and daddy’s. <span class = "stagedir">She +turns from him and fetches his hat and coat and gives them to him. He +receives them from her with a dazed look.</span> Time’s up. <span class += "stagedir">After a silence during which neither stirs.</span> Never +mind. You’ll survive it. <span class = "stagedir">Another pause.</span> +Come along.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She passes him, to go to the door on the left. As she does so he flings +his hat and coat on to the settee, and clasps her in his arms.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Lily—Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ah, that’s not fair!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Don’t—don’t send me away like this!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her hand against his breast.</span> It isn’t +fair of you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Say you’ll take time to consider<ins class = "correction" title = +"period missing or invisible">. </ins></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">166</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I hate you for it!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Ask Roper’s advice—your mother’s——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I’ve trusted you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Ask Miss Birch——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Eddie! Lord Farncombe——! <span class = "stagedir">He +releases her and they confront one another, she panting, he hanging his +head guiltily.</span> W-w-well, I—I <i>have</i> been mistaken +in you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In despair.</span> I—I—— +<span class = "stagedir">Turning from her and hitting his temples with +his fists.</span> Forgive me. Forgive me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ha! I—I thought you were such a quiet, bashful fellow.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Forgive me. Forgive me.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She wavers and then slowly approaches him.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gently.</span> Don’t—don’t fret about +it. <i>I</i> forgive you. <span class = "stagedir">Touching his arm +with her finger-tips.</span> I’m to blame. <span class = +"stagedir">Drawing a deep breath.</span> All those +dances——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He seizes her hand and kisses it passionately.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">167</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I may see you again? I may see you again? Lily—Lily—! +Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a whisper, averting her head.</span> +N-no—we’d better not—— <span class = "stagedir">There +is a low but distinct knocking at the door on the left. She withdraws +her hand and they look at each other, he inquiringly, she with a calm +face. The knocking is repeated.</span> Mother. <span class = +"stagedir">She goes to the door and speaks with her mouth close to +it.</span> That you, mother? <span class = "stagedir">She listens for a +reply and again the knocking is heard.</span> Who is it? <span class = +"stagedir">She opens the door. <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> is +outside.</span> Nicko! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> comes into the room. He has rid himself of his +wig and beard and is wearing an overcoat buttoned up to his chin and a +cap drawn down to his brows. His face is white and his jaws are set +determinedly.</span> How—how have you got in? <span class = +"stagedir">He produces a bunch of keys and grimly displays a +latch-key.</span> Oh—oh——! <span class = +"stagedir">Pulling off his cap, <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> +advances to the table in the centre, glaring at <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>. <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> +closes the door sharply and also advances, speaking volubly to <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> as she comes forward.</span> +Captain Jeyes is in the habit of bringing me home from the theatre after +my work; and a long while ago I gave him a latch-key to carry on his +key-ring, so that he could let me into my house whenever I’d forgotten +my own key. He hasn’t the slightest right to use it at any other time; +nobody knows that better than he does. It’s a confounded liberty! <span +class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, +hotly.</span> What are you doing here at all at this hour of the +morning?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">168</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After an expressive glance at <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> An odd question, in the +circumstances.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Answer me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Keeping an eye on <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Spying on me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>On you— <span class = "stagedir">jerking his head towards <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span></span> and——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>How dare you!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I’ve been at it all night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>All night!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Yes; I was in the theatre while you were supping and dancing.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><i>You</i> were!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I <i>meant</i> to be there. You did your best to stop +it——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">169</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>That’s a lie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>So that you could enjoy yourself thoroughly— <span class = +"stagedir">glancing at <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> +again</span> with——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>A lie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I didn’t leave till past three. You and— <span class = +"stagedir">with another motion of the head towards <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span></span> had just had your fifth dance +together, and they were hauling you round the building.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Where <i>were</i> you? Who——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Excuse me; that’s my business. Then I went back to Jermyn Street, and +it suddenly struck me I’d like to see how your escort was composed.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>You’ve been watching outside?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Since a quarter-to-four—under the portico at the corner.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Contemptuously.</span> +<i>You</i>——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">170</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Yes, but, by God, I wasn’t quite prepared for <i>this</i>!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>This!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Cramming his cap into his overcoat-pocket +and coming to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> What +the hell’s your game? You’ve got some accommodating friends, both of +you, in that blackguard Roper and that slut Jimmie Birch!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh—! <span class = "stagedir">Approaching <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> with clenched fists.</span> Ah, you +cur——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Holding up his hand to her +appealingly.</span> Miss Parradell——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> You cur! Mother’s been told that Lord +Farncombe’s with me. I sent Jimmie up to tell her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Where <i>is</i> your mother?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>In bed, of course.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Snoring! Ha, ha, ha! Faugh, there’s an ugly name, my girl, for such +mothers as yours!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">171</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Ah—! <span class = "stagedir">Raising her fist.</span> +Ah-h-h-h——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Miss Parradell——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Restraining herself with difficulty and +pacing the room.</span> Oh, the cur! The cur! The cur!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, +looking at him steadily.</span> Captain Jeyes——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>The low cur!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Captain Jeyes, do you happen to know where I lodge?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>No; I don’t know where your sty is.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>St. James’s Place—forty-seven. I shall be in at twelve o’clock. +<span class = "stagedir">Picking up his hat and overcoat.</span> From +the tone this gentleman adopts, Miss Parradell, I assume that he +considers himself entitled to concern himself in your affairs. <span +class = "stagedir">Moving over to the left where <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> joins him.</span> Perhaps it will make it easier +for you if I——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">172</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Clutching his arm.</span> Ah, I’m so +indignant, Eddie! I—I—I——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Eddie! <i>Eddie!</i></p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Turning upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> in a fury.</span> Yes, you cad—Eddie, +<i>Eddie</i>, <span class = "smallcaps">Eddie</span>! You cad! You +sneak! You idler! You waster! I’ve stood it long enough. This is the +last straw! I’ve done with you! I’m sick to death of you! How I’ve +tolerated you all these years is a mystery to me! After this, get out of +my sight and never show yourself to me again!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Grasping her wrist, fiercely.</span> +Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wrenching herself free.</span> <i>What!</i> +<span class = "stagedir">Losing control over herself utterly.</span> +You’ll spy on me, will you, you shabby loafer! You’ll peep at me while +I’m eating my supper, and count the dances I choose to give that boy +over there, will you! And then you’ll break into my house, and insult my +friends behind their backs, and insinuate foul things against my poor +old mother—you damned coward!—and against me, <span class = +"stagedir">pointing to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span></span> +and <i>him</i>! Why, you’re not fit to black his boots, and you never +were—never—you—you—you scum! Here! <span class = +"stagedir">Taking <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe’s</span> note from +her bosom and thrusting it at <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Read that! <span class = +"stagedir">Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre table.</span> +<span class = "pagenum">173</span> +Read it! Read it! Read it! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> reads to himself.</span> Out loud!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Mumbling.</span> “Dear Miss Parradell. Will +you allow me——?”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Louder!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>“Will you allow me to remain behind for a few minutes with Miss +Jimmie after the others have gone? I know I am presuming a lot, but +I cannot leave you till I have asked you the most important question a +man can put to a woman. Farncombe.”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Breathless.</span> Written here—on my +note-paper—while I was out of the room! It came on me like a +thunder-clap! Ah! Ah! Ah! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> sits upon the settee, staring at the +carpet.</span> And Morrie Cooling and Lal will tell you that I hadn’t a +notion that Lord Farncombe was to be at the supper last night, or any of +the boys; not a notion. I blackguarded ’em both for deceiving me, +and causing me to deceive <i>you</i>. <span class = "stagedir">Taking +the scent-atomizer from the table and spraying her face with it.</span> +Now! What have you to say now! Ah! Ah! Ah!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Huskily.</span> Why—why the devil did +you let Jimmie go? Why did you let her go? It was knowing that you and +Farncombe were alone that—that made me——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">174</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, if I’d suspected that a private detective was hovering around, +I’d have kept the whole lot of my friends! As it was, Jimmie was looking +dead, and—! <span class = "stagedir">in disdain.</span> Pah!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +There is a pause and then <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> sits +upright and draws his hand wearily across his eyes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Well, I—I beg your pardon. <span +class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> continues to +spray herself energetically.</span> I’m not so completely <i>scum</i> as +not to see that I ought to beg your pardon. <span class = +"stagedir">Humbly.</span> I beg your pardon.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Softening by degrees.</span> You—you +drive me mad sometimes—positively frantic!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Partly to himself.</span> Mad! <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> And +you, Farncombe—I hope you’ll accept my apologies. +I offer them unreservedly.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> bows, somewhat stiffly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, +protruding her lower lip.</span> I—I didn’t mean half I said, +Nicko; I didn’t mean half of it. <span class = "stagedir">Eyeing +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> askance as she replaces the +atomizer.</span> And I—I’m ashamed of myself for losing my +self-control as I did. <span class = "stagedir">There is another pause +and then <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> gets to his feet and +silently returns the note to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>. She +looks up at him piteously and puts the note back into her +<span class = "pagenum">175</span> +bosom. Then he takes out his key-ring, removes the latch key from it, +and throws the key on to the table. Having done this, he drags his cap +from his pocket and makes for the door on the left. As he passes <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, she rises and gently plucks at his +sleeve.</span> Nicko—Nicko——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a thick voice.</span> Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Won’t you—won’t you give Lord Farncombe—some +explanation——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Explanation——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Of the sort of terms we’ve been on, you and I, He—he must +be—rather puzzled— <span class = "stagedir">turning away to +the table.</span> Oh, it’s due to you as well as to me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dully.</span> Just as you please. <span +class = "stagedir">With a hard laugh.</span> Ho, ho! Yes, perhaps it +<i>is</i> due to me that he should learn a little more about me than +he’s been able to gather from personal observation—and from your +eloquent but summary description. <span class = "stagedir">Under his +breath, screwing up his cap.</span> +Idler—waster—loafer——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Penitently.</span> Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, quietly.</span> Oh, it’s a true bill, +Farncombe. And yet, a very few years back—<i>she</i> won’t +<span class = "pagenum">176</span> +dispute it—I was one of the smartest chaps going, good at my job, +with prospects as rosy as any man’s in my regiment. There wasn’t a cloud +the size of your hand, apparently, in my particular bit of sky at the +time I speak of; not a speck! Then I met this young lady, and— +<span class = "stagedir">pointing to the box-ottoman</span> well, since +we’re in for it——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Oh, Captain Jeyes——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>No, no; she wishes you to understand the exact nature of the +friendship between her and me. I’m obeying instructions. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> sits on the +ottoman, nursing his hat and overcoat. Then <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> sits in the arm-chair by the centre table, +first turning the chair so that it faces <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Farncombe, I was under thirty, +and still a subaltern, when I made Miss Parradell’s acquaintance. Like +most of my pals, I was spending my nights, whenever I could get +away from Aldershot, in the stalls at the Pandora—much the same as +<i>you’ve</i> been doing recently, and as a certain class of young +man’ll go on doing as long as the Pandora, and similar shops, continue +to flourish. Ha! How honoured we felt, we men, in those days, at knowing +some of the Pandora girls, and having the privilege of supping ’em and +standing ’em dinner on Sunday evenings! If they’d been royal princesses +we couldn’t have been more elated. <span class = "stagedir">With a +gesture.</span> Don’t jump at conclusions. It generally ended there, or +with our running into debt at a jeweller’s. <i>We</i> were young, +<i>they</i> were beautiful—or we thought ’em +<span class = "pagenum">177</span> +so; but the majority of us weren’t vicious, any more than the majority +of the girls were—though many of ’em were mighty calculating. It +would have been better for us men if all the girls <i>had</i> been +wicked; the glamour, the infatuation, the folly, would have been sooner +over, and one of us at least would have had a different tale to +tell.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> pauses, gazing at the floor, +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> moves impatiently on the +ottoman and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> seats herself upon the +settee.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Plaintively.</span> +Nicko—Nicko—I merely wanted you to——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rousing himself and speaking to <span class += "smallcaps">Lily</span> over his shoulder.</span> Who was it +introduced us?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Miss Du Cane—Aggie Du Cane.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Agnes Du Cane. <i>She’s</i> gone under. <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Outside Buckley’s +oyster-bar, wasn’t it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not outside; in the parlour.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> Lily had only lately come to the +Pandora—a pale-faced slip of a thing. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Eighteen, +weren’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Nodding.</span> Eighteen.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">178</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I confess I wasn’t overwhelmingly attracted by her at first; she was +so unlike the rest. <span class = "stagedir">Laughing bitterly.</span> +Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Weakly.</span> Ha, ha, ha! Wasn’t I +dowdy!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>But she was humble, and naïve, and confiding; and my vanity was +tickled by her delight at the little treats I gave her, and by her +gratitude for a tuppeny-ha’penny present or two. Nobody, I believe, +with any pretensions to being a gentleman, had paid her much attention +before I arrived on the scene.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a murmur.</span> No; nobody.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I didn’t find out that I was in love with her—you guess it’s a +love story, don’t you?——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Delicately.</span> My dear Captain +Jeyes——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I didn’t find out that I was neck and heels in love with her until +nearly a year afterwards, when my regiment went to the Curragh. +<i>That</i> did it—separation! What I suffered in that hole, +thinking of her, starving for her! In less than three months I was in +London again, on leave, and in my old stall at the +<span class = "pagenum">179</span> +Pandora. But even then, Farncombe, I hadn’t your pluck.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Pluck?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>The pluck to snap my fingers at the world and propose marriage to a +Pandora girl. Besides, my mother was alive then, and— <span class += "stagedir">abruptly, with a wild look</span> would you like to know +what <i>she</i> used to call these Pandora women, Farncombe? <span class += "stagedir">Bending forward, his hands tightly clenched.</span> She +used to call them <i>a menace to society</i>. With their beauty, and +their flagrant opportunities for displaying it, they are a living curse, +she used to say—a source of constant dread to mothers whose +hope it is to see their sons safely mated to modest, maidenly girls of +the typical English pattern. She told us once—my brothers and +me—frightened as to where <i>we</i> were drifting, that she was +one of many mothers who prayed on their knees daily that their boys +might be spared from being drawn into the net woven by their own +weaknesses and passions—drawn into it by +these—these——! <span class = "stagedir">He breaks off, +stares about him for a moment, and then rises.</span> Oh, but I oughtn’t +to have repeated this to <i>you</i>. Pardon. <span class = +"stagedir">Walking away unsteadily.</span> Ho, damned bad taste! <span +class = "stagedir">Behind the table, supporting himself by leaning upon +it.</span> Where was I? Back from the Curragh! <span class = +"stagedir">Confused.</span> Yes—yes—and so things went on +for a couple o’ years—I trailing after Lily closer than +ever—and at last—at last I <i>did</i> ask her to be my +wife.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who has been listening to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> with parted lips +<span class = "pagenum">180</span> +and wide-open eyes—appealingly.</span> Don’t! Don’t, Nicko; +don’t!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Oblivious of her interruption.</span> But +I’d left it too late. The novelty of me had worn off; she’d scores of +friends by that time; she’d made her big hit, and followed it with +another, and was the talk o’ the town. And she’d money; she wasn’t +dependent on <i>me</i> any longer for her gloves and her trips and +outings!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her head drooping.</span> Oh! Oh! <span +class = "stagedir">Wringing her hands.</span> Oh, that’s <i>beastly</i> +of you; <i>beastly</i>!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>She was kind to me too, in a way—kind and cruel. She didn’t +want to marry me; she didn’t want to marry anybody; she was in love with +herself, and her success, and what it was bringing her. But she wouldn’t +give me the kick. No, she wouldn’t do that; I <i>had</i> been +something to her. And there’s where the kindness came in—and the +merciless cruelty. <span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the +fauteuil-stool rigidly.</span> God, if only she’d broken with me then, +firmly and finally—if only she’d broken with me +then—she—she might have saved me!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Struggling with her tears.</span> Oh, Nicko, +Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Twelve months ago she did throw me a bone. The regiment was under +orders for India, and of +<span class = "pagenum">181</span> +course I sent in my papers; and out of pity, I suppose—and +because I was always pestering her—she promised to become engaged +to me if I’d get other work to do. Work! I wonder whether really +she was grinning to herself when she made the stipulation!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh—oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Work! All the spunk, all the energy, had been sapped out of me long +before, and even her promise couldn’t revive it. My search for a berth +wasn’t much more than a sham. At the back of my head I knew very well +what I’d come to. The only work <i>I</i> was capable of was dancing +attendance on <i>her</i>, and filling in what remained of the day and +night at a rotten restaurant, a Bohemian club, and the bar of the +theatre. And that’s <i>been</i> my sole employment for the past +year—nothing but that. Pretty, for a man who started life as +swimmingly as I did! <span class = "stagedir">His voice dying +away.</span> +Pretty—pretty—pretty—pretty——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a profound stillness.</span> +I—I don’t think you’ve ever—put the case to +me—quite so plainly as this, Nicko.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I—I don’t think I’ve ever put it quite so plainly—to +myself.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">182</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her lip trembling.</span> You—you +won’t believe me——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I—I’ve never fully realised it till now—the harm I’ve +done you. I declare to God I’ve never realised it till now. <span +class = "stagedir">Faintly.</span> Nicko——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a further pause.</span> Ah, +well—! <span class = "stagedir">With a deep sigh.</span> Ah, well! +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, +resignedly.</span> Farncombe, I—I’m afraid I’m a shocking brute. +I—I got carried away. Forget—forget the things I’ve +said of this girl. Forget ’em, will yer? <span class = +"stagedir">Starting to his feet.</span> And look here! A man who +isn’t a sportsman deserves to be shot. You’ve won her; I’ve lost her. +Congratulate yer, old chap; congratulate yer! <span class = +"stagedir">Pulling on his cap.</span> Take care of her, that’s all; +m-m-mind you take care of her!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He turns towards the door and she jumps up and runs to him and seizes +his arm. <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> also rises.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, no, Nicko! Nicko—! <span class = "stagedir">Giving <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> a half frightened, half imploring +look.</span> Nicko, I can’t undo the mischief I’ve done; +I can’t do that. But I can try to make it up to you—some of +it—and I will, if you’ll let me. <span class = "stagedir">Putting +her arms round his shoulders.</span> Nicko——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">183</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Roughly.</span> Make it—up to me?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her face close to his.</span> You know what +I mean! As soon as possible—next month, if you like—next +week—quietly—! <span class = "stagedir">He grips her arms +and stares at her blankly.</span> Ha, ha! Yes, you’ve been in too great +a hurry to settle matters, <i>you</i> have. Lord Farncombe and +I—we—<i>we’re</i> not going to be married. I’ve refused him. +<span class = "stagedir">Wildly.</span> I—I’ve ruined <i>you</i>, +Nicko; but I—I’ve told him—I’m not going to draw <i>him</i> +into my net! <span class = "stagedir">Clinging to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> and burying her face in the breast of his coat, +crying.</span> Oh! Oh! Oh! I’m not going to draw <i>him</i> into my +net!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Again there is a pause and then <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> +turns to <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, dazed.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Farncombe——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Inclining his head.</span> +Yes—yes——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With feeling.</span> My dear fellow, +I—I——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising her head and speaking through her +tears—to <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> Nicko, +I—I want to have one more word with Lord Farncombe—just +one more word. <span class = "stagedir">He nods understandingly and goes +to the door on the left. She follows him.</span> Only a minute; <span +class = "stagedir">he opens the door</span> and +<span class = "pagenum">184</span> +then you must walk away together, you and he, and part good friends. +<span class = "stagedir">He goes out on to the landing and she closes +the door and stands with her back to it, drying her eyes with her +handkerchief. <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, still carrying +his hat and overcoat, has crossed to the settee, a forlorn +figure.</span> W-w-well, you—you <i>have</i> had a lucky escape, +haven’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Heavily.</span> Escape?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Leaving the door and advancing.</span> +You—you’ve heard what a cold-blooded, selfish wretch I +am—how I’ve treated Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Waving the idea away.</span> +Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to him.</span> And you’ve seen what +I’m like when I’m in a rage; you’ve seen what the genuine Lily Margaret +Upjohn is, without her disguise. <span class = "stagedir">Looking up +into his face pathetically.</span> Yes, that was <i>me</i>, Eddie, under +the crust. Common as dirt, dear; common as dirt! <span class = +"stagedir">Holding the lapels of his coat.</span> Oh! Oh, you’ll always +remember me, with my eyes starting out of my head, spitting at Nicko! +You’ll always picture that horrible sight when you think of me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>You—you were provoked; I—I admired you for it.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">185</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Tenderly.</span> Ah, you dear boy! <span +class = "stagedir">In an altered tone.</span> Eddie——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Had you—a little hope—that, after all, I might turn +your offer over in my mind and—and eventually——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes—yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a catch in her breath.</span> +Ah——! <span class = "stagedir">In a whisper.</span> +I—I’ll tell you something.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>What?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In his ear.</span> I <i>might</i> have, +if—if you’d persisted.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Groaning.</span> Oh-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Retreating a step or two.</span> Thank God +Nicko came along! Thank God Nicko came along! <i>What</i> was it his +mother called us girls? A menace to society; creatures to be +dreaded, and prayed against! You see I was right in wishing to protect +you for your mammy’s sake as well as your own. But, oh—thank God +Nicko came along! <span class = "stagedir">He sits suddenly upon the +<span class = "pagenum">186</span> +settee and covers his face with his hands. She returns to him +quickly.</span> Ah, don’t do that; don’t do that! <span class = +"stagedir">Touching his hands.</span> Eddie! Eddie! I’m not worth it. +Eddie! <span class = "stagedir">With an effort, he lifts his +head.</span> Listen. <i>This</i> is what I want to say to you. Don’t +come near me any more; you mustn’t. And don’t come to the theatre again +either. If I thought you were sitting in front, I—I’m sure I +couldn’t——! <span class = "stagedir">Entreatingly.</span> +Swear—swear you’ll keep away from me, and from the theatre! <span +class = "stagedir">He nods.</span> And you’ll never go to any supper or +dinner or dance where you’re likely to meet the other girls, will you? +Eddie! <span class = "stagedir">He shakes his head.</span> Swear! <span +class = "stagedir">He rises and, as he does so, she grips the lapels of +his coat again, her eyes blazing fiercely.</span> Oh! Oh! If one of the +other girls ever got hold of you, I—I— <span class = +"stagedir">hissing into his face</span> I’d kill her! <span class = +"stagedir">She leaves him and goes to the door on the left and opens +it.</span> Nicko! <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> enters the room.</span> March, both of you! +<span class = "stagedir">Exhausted.</span> I—I’m pretty well +baked. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> joins <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> at the door and she stands +between the two men looking from one to the other and taking a hand of +each.</span> Ha, ha, ha! I’ve made the <i>pair</i> of you precious +miserable, if you only knew it. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class += "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>.</span> The difference is that <i>he’ll</i> +soon forget me, and <i>you</i>, with <i>me</i> for a wife, are doomed +for life. <span class = "stagedir">Putting her hands upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span>’ shoulders.</span> Nicko——! <span +class = "stagedir">She kisses him lightly and, having done so, asks him +a question with her eyes. <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> turns +aside and she faces <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> and +offers him her lips. They kiss.</span> Good-bye. <span class = +"stagedir">After a moment’s pause, to both of them.</span> Away with +you! <span class = "stagedir">The two men go out and she follows them to +the top of the stairs and watches them descend. Then she slowly comes +back into the room and stands listening at the door. There is a distant +sound.</span> Ah! <span class = "stagedir">Partly closing +<span class = "pagenum">187</span> +the door, she wanders about the room aimlessly for a while. Then, +impulsively, she runs to the further window, lifts the sash, and looks +below.</span> Ah!... Ah!... <span class = "stagedir">Drawing +back.</span> Ah-h-h-h——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She shuts the window and comes to the settee and, sitting there, takes +off her shoes. Then she goes down upon the floor inelegantly, hunts for +her slippers, and puts them on. As she rises, the door on the left is +pushed open and <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> peeps in +cautiously.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a dressing-gown and with her hair, now +very scanty, tightly screwed up.</span> Lil——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stiffening herself and speaking in a cold, +level voice.</span> Oh, I was just coming up to you, mother, to get +you to undo me.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bustling to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> I didn’t mean to, but I fell off. <span +class = "stagedir">Unhooking <span class = "smallcaps">Lily’s</span> +dress.</span> It <i>was</i> the front-door I ’eard a minute ago, then? +It gave me sech a start. <span class = "stagedir">In difficulties with +the hooks.</span> Turn more to the light, dearie. These dressmakers do +it a’ purpose, I b’lieve. The ’ooks on that noo gown o’ mine are a +perfect myst’ry. Wot’s <i>this</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Twisting her body.</span> Oh, don’t fiddle +so, mother!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>You <i>did</i> let ’im stay a time, Lil. ’Eaps to talk over, eh?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">188</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stonily.</span> Heaps. <span class = +"stagedir">Trying to assist <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Well, dear; well, well! Tell me wot’s took place. Don’t keep me in +suspense.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I shan’t tell you anything, mother, till I’ve had a sleep. +I must go through the sheets first. <span class = +"stagedir">Stamping her foot.</span> Oh, tear the thing; tear it!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Ave you consented to make ’im ’appy, poor young gentleman? That’s all I +want to know, Lil. <span class = "stagedir">Overcoming a hook.</span> +There!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Thank you, mother. <span class = "stagedir">Slipping her arms out of +her dress.</span> I can manage the rest.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>But, Lil, dearie——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, for mercy’s sake, leave me alone! <span class = +"stagedir">Violently.</span> Why can’t you leave me alone!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Ho! Very good! <span class = "stagedir">Moving away indignantly as +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, with shaking fingers, unfastens a +necklace.</span> <i>This</i> is my reward for layin’ awake ’alf the +night, is it, an’ for thinkin’ of you, an’ wonderin’ about you! +<span class = "pagenum">189</span> +Ungrateful little puss, you! <span class = "stagedir">Going towards the +door.</span> After this, you can keep your affairs to yourself for as +long as ever you choose. Don’t you expect <i>me</i>——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Suddenly, sitting upon the settee.</span> +Mother——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sharply.</span> Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her hand to her brow.</span> Oh, +mother——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hurrying to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Wot is it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Swaying.</span> At last—at +last——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>At last——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Clinging to <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> I’m in love, mother—I’m in love—in +love—in love——!</p> + +<h4 class = "end">END OF THE THIRD ACT.</h4> + + +<!-- <span class = "pagenum">190</span> --> + + +<span class = "pagenum">191</span> +<h3 class = "act"><a name = "act4" id = "act4">THE FOURTH ACT</a></h3> + +<p class = "scenedesc"> +The scene is the same as in the preceding act, but the light outside is +brighter and warmer and in the room is more diffused. On the table in +the centre, placed close to the settee, there is a small tray with a +breakfast of tea and toast upon it. The bedroom door is partly open.</p> + + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, wan and red-eyed, is lying, +propped up by cushions, upon the settee. A newspaper is on her lap +but she is gazing at vacancy. She is in <em>négligé</em>. A dainty +morning-robe covers her night-gown, her bare feet are in slippers, and +her hair is in a simple knot. <span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> is +at one of the drawers of the cupboard at the back, engaged in selecting +some articles of <em>lingerie</em>, and <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>, completely dressed for the day, is sitting in the +arm-chair by the centre table, her face hidden by a newspaper which she +is reading. Presently <span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> shuts the +drawer and, carrying the <em>lingerie</em>, comes forward.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> What frock’ll you put on?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">192</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Starting slightly.</span> Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p>One of your embroidered muslins, or your Ninon?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Languidly.</span> Either; <i>I</i> don’t +care.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p>Oh, gracious, what on earth <i>is</i> the matter with you this +morning! I’ve never known you as queer as this after any hop you’ve been +to in <i>my</i> time. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, who has lowered her paper.</span> +Nothing wrong, is there?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Turning over and burying her head in the +cushions.</span> Maud.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving to the settee and bending over <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Here I am, lovey.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a muffled voice.</span> Go into the next +room and shut the door, and don’t let me see your stupid, fat face till +I come to you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing heartily.</span> Ha, ha, ha! Ho, +ho, ho! That’s better. <span class = "stagedir">Going to the bedroom +door.</span> That’s how I like to hear her talk. We needn’t send for Dr. +Gilson yet awhile. Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">193</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +She disappears into the bedroom and closes the door.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Lil.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Yes, mother?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Ave another cup o’ tea, won’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Nother bit o’ toast, then?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Smoke a cigarette.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>You always <i>do</i> ’ave a w’iff after your breakfast. Come!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and walking away.</span> Oh, dear; +oh, dear! Deuce take Carlton Smythe an’ ’is supper party—those are +<i>my</i> sentiments; <i>an’</i> Lal Roper, busybody +<span class = "pagenum">194</span> +that ’e is! Things were goin’ on with us as smooth an’ peaceful as could +be, before this upset.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Raising herself, angrily.</span> <i>You</i> +were in it, mother; you’re as much to blame as anybody.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Halting.</span> ’Ow <i>in</i> it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>In Uncle Lal’s artful plan to prevent Nicko from being invited. +You’ve confessed you were.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lal twisted me round ’is little finger. I was clay in the +porter’s ’and, as your dad was fond of sayin’.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Changing her position.</span> If only Nicko +had been there, I shouldn’t have given young Farncombe all those +dances, nor wandered about with him in the intervals, nor allowed him to +see me home. It all simply wouldn’t, <i>couldn’t</i> have happened. +<span class = "stagedir">Hitting a cushion.</span> Oh! <span class = +"stagedir">Sitting up and embracing her knees.</span> +Mother——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind the settee.</span> Wot?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Knitting her brows.</span> I—I’m so +surprised at myself.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">195</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Surprised?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>So—so disappointed with myself.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Why, you ’aven’t done anything that—that’s not quite +respectable, Lil. On the cont’ry——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, I haven’t done anything that’s actually not nice, +but—fancy!——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Close to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Fancy——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Opening her eyes widely.</span> Fancy my +letting myself go with young Farncombe as I did! <i>He—he’d</i> +been admiring me from a distance for weeks and weeks, but I’d scarcely +noticed him till last night! <span class = "stagedir">Leaning her head +against <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, softly.</span> +I—I always thought I was such a cold girl, mother, +in—in that way.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I s’pose it was wot’s called love at first sight, Lil.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Laughing shamefacedly.</span> Ha, ha, ha! +<span class = "stagedir">Putting her feet to the ground and shielding +her face with her hands.</span> Oh, don’t talk rot, mother.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">196</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving away.</span> Any’ow, it’s not too +late, Lil—even now——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not too late——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind the centre table.</span> To back out, +dearie. The Captain couldn’t possibly ’old you to a ’asty promise given +’im between four an’ five in the mornin’.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh! Oh, how <i>can</i> you! I’ve passed my word to Nicko and I +wouldn’t break it for twenty thousand pounds. <span class = +"stagedir">Looking up.</span> Mother——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Fussing with the things upon the +table.</span> Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Resolutely.</span> I’m going to pull Nicko +<i>up</i>, mother. I’ve dragged him down, and I mean to raise him. <span +class = "stagedir">Clenching her hands.</span> So help me God, +I do!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Well, you’ve got a tough job before you, Lil, in my opinion.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Perhaps; but I mean to succeed. <span class = "stagedir">After a +pause.</span> Besides——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">197</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Besides——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Slowly.</span> I’ve told you—Nicko or +no Nicko—I’m determined—I’m determined not to draw Eddie +Farncombe into my net.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Into your <i>net</i>? <span class = "stagedir">Another pause.</span> +Lil——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Eh?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>That’s twice you’ve made use o’ that remark. ’Oo’s accused +you——? <span class = "stagedir">There is a lively rat-tat at +the door on the left.</span> Come in!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The door opens and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie Birch</span> bounces +into the room.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">As she closes the door.</span> Ah, Ma! Ah, +Lillums!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Good mornin’.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Kissing <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Ha, ha! We’ve met before, this morning, haven’t +we! <span class = "stagedir">Coming to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Well, dear old girl, and how are +<i>you</i> to-day? <span class = "stagedir">Kissing <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and then eyeing her keenly.</span> +A wreck?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Rather.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">198</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>I <i>ought</i> to be, but I’m not. Directly I laid my pretty head on +my pillow I went off, and never stirred till I found the breakfast-tray +on my chest. <span class = "stagedir">Reckoning on her fingers.</span> +Five to six—six to seven—seven to eight—eight to +nine—nine to ten—ten to eleven. I’ve had six hours; that’s +not so dusty. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, slyly.</span> You didn’t sleep very soundly, +probably?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Not very.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Smiling from ear to ear.</span> Excited? +<span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> shrugs +her shoulders. There is a silence and then <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, still beaming, looks round and sees that +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> has seated herself upon the +fauteuil-stool.</span> May I sit down for a minute?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Of course, Jimmie; do.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> sits in the arm-chair by the +centre table, awaiting some communication which doesn’t come. <span +class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> drums upon the table with her +fingers and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> busies herself with +re-arranging the cushions on the settee.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a while.</span> Hope I haven’t dropped +in too early?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Settling her shoulders into the +cushions.</span> Not a bit, dear.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">199</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>It’s nearly half-past twelve. I—I <i>dashed</i> round. <span +class = "stagedir">After another pause, unable to restrain herself +further.</span> Any news? Any-any-anything to tell me?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Abruptly.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>W-w-what——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lil’s engaged.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Hah! <span class = "stagedir">Triumphantly.</span> Hah, hah! <span +class = "stagedir">Clapping her hands and beating her feet upon the +floor.</span> Hah, hah, hah, hah! <span class = "stagedir">Jumping up +and sitting beside <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and hugging and +kissing her.</span> Oh! Oh! Oh! Y’m! Y’m! Y’m! Oh, you humbugs! <span +class = "stagedir">Rising and rushing at <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> and embracing her.</span> You solemn humbug, Ma! <span +class = "stagedir">Leaving <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> +and singing and dancing to the refrain sung in the previous Act.</span> +“If you would only, only love me;—” Ha, ha, ha! “If you would +merely, merely say,——” <span class = "stagedir">Her voice +gradually dying away as she sees that the expression on <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> face, and upon <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn’s</span>, doesn’t alter.</span> “Wait but a little— <span +class = "stagedir">standing still</span> little—for +me——”</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Caustically.</span> Yes, you <i>’ad</i> +better wait a little; you’d better wait till you ’ear <i>’oo</i> she’s +engaged <i>to</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Who—to!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">200</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Studying her nails.</span> <i>Whom</i> to, +mother.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Why, isn’t it——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>No, it ain’t. It’s the Captain.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>T-t-the Cap—! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> N-n-nicko? <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> nods. <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> draws a deep breath.</span> Oh-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Calmly.</span> Nicko turned up here early +this morning—while Eddie—while Lord Farncombe was with me, +in fact—and I—we—the three of us—we talked +matters over, and—and——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her eyes starting out of her head.</span> +Was there a row?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, don’t be so curious, Jimmie. Poor Nicko has been after me for six +years. A girl must play the game, if she’s at all decent and wishes +to preserve a shred of self-respect.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Again there is a pause and then <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +silently resumes her seat in the arm-chair.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">201</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moistening her lips with her tongue—to +<span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> ’Ow do you feel about +it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Thoughtfully.</span> How do I feel about it? +<span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> May I say?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coldly.</span> Certainly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rubbing the arm of her chair with the palm +of her hand.</span> Well, if I were on board a ship at this moment, +I should be ringing for the stewardess; that’s how I feel about +it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Throwing herself, face downward, at full +length upon the settee.</span> Oh! Oh, you’re just like the rest of our +girls on the question of marriage! You—you—you’re +detestable!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sliding out of her chair and kneeling at the +settee and putting an arm round <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Oh, Lil—Lil——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Repulsing her.</span> Yes, you are! <span +class = "stagedir">Raising herself upon her elbow.</span> You’d rejoice +to see me draw this boy into my net, wouldn’t you! You know you would. +<span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> +rises and comes forward.</span> I dare say you jolly well wouldn’t +object to catching him yourself if you’d half a chance! <span class = +"stagedir">Fiercely.</span> You try it; you try it—you, or any of +you!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">202</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Attempting to rise, scandalised.</span> +Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Holding her.</span> No, no——! +Jimmie——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lil, I’m perfec’ly ashamed of you, speakin’ to Jimmie Birch in that +manner.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dropping her head on <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie’s</span> shoulder.</span> Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>She doesn’t mean it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>I ’ope not. It ain’t exac’ly pleasant to ’ave a dog in the manger for +a daughter. <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Why <i>shouldn’t</i> young Farncombe +turn ’is attention to Miss Birch, pray, or to any young lady who doesn’t +object to take your leavin’s!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> H’sh, h’sh, h’sh!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Walking about.</span> No, I won’t ’ush!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +quietly.</span> I’ll come back in the afternoon.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">203</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lil seems to ’ave got some maggot or other in ’er brain about drawin’ +Lord Farncombe into ’er <i>net</i>. Net indeed! <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, not heeding <span +class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>, arranges <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> comfortably upon the settee and then rises and +smoothes out her skirt preparatory to departure.</span> As Lal Roper was +sayin’ yesterday, our tiptop, aristocratic English fam’lies ought to be +’xtremely grateful that strong, ’ealthy perfeshunals o’ the class of +Miss ’Arker an’ Miss Trevail an’ Miss Shafto are enterin’ their ranks. +An’ if Lil chooses to be pig-’eaded enough——! <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> makes a movement +towards <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> ’Ave a +bottle o’ ginger beer before you go. <span class = "stagedir">There is a +prolonged, playful knocking at the door on the left followed, on the +part of those in the room, by a gloomy pause.</span> That <i>is</i> +Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Groaning.</span> Oh-h-h-h!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Drawing a long face.</span> H’m!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Oh, +Jimmie—stay——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The knocking is repeated. <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +retreats to the right as <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> +goes to the door and opens it. <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> is +outside.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Entering, in high spirits.</span> Hullo, +hullo, hullo, hul-lo! <span class = "stagedir">Embracing <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> Morning, Ma! +<span class = "pagenum">204</span> +<span class = "stagedir">Advancing.</span> Any <i>more</i> bids for the +handsome gilt candelabra with the crystal drops? Ha, ha, ha! <span class += "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Morning, +Jimmie! <span class = "stagedir">Looking down, upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>, eagerly.</span> Well, Lil! Well, my pet!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a weary tone, giving him the tips of her +fingers and then turning upon her side with her face to the back of the +settee.</span> How are you, Uncle Lal?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Chilled.</span> Oh, I—thank you, +Lil— <span class = "stagedir">After a short pause, to <span class += "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>—glancing at <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Not up to much to-day?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Glumly.</span> No great shakes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Dancing too hard, I ’spect.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>A deal too ’ard.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After another pause.</span> Anything else +amiss, Ma?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the box-ottoman—to <span +class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, who is at the piano examining some of +the music.</span> <i>You</i> tell Lal, Jimmie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>T-t-tell—? <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, who comes to the +settee—apprehensively.</span> Jimmie——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">205</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind the settee, gravely.</span> No, the +old Pandora isn’t going to score <i>this</i> time, Lal.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Isn’t going to—? I d-d-don’t follow you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Be plain, Jimmie.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Endeavouring to relieve the +situation.</span> Ha, ha! Nature’s taken precious good care of that, in +my case.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Angrily.</span> Now, look here, Jimmie! +A jest is a capital thing in its way. No man has a keener sense of +humour than Lal Roper. But there <i>are</i> occasions when it’s out o’ +place, and this is one of ’em, my dear; and if it’s not putting you to +serious inconvenience——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Also losing her temper.</span> Oh, well, +then, have it in the neck! Lil’s declined young Farncombe. There! And +when <i>you</i> crack a joke next, Mr. Roper, I beg you’ll contrive +to favour us with a little variety; <span class = "stagedir">flouncing +away</span> because you bore me pallid with your rotten wheezes, and +always have done.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>, aghast at the tidings.</span> Ma——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">206</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>, +under her breath.</span> Won’t draw ’im into ’er net, Uncle.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Won’t draw him into her——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the back.</span> K-n-e-double +t—net!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Pacifically.</span> +Jimmie——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Mimicking <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> derisively.</span> Hullo, hullo, hullo, hul-lo! +Fresh fish from the sea! Buy ’em on the beach; buy ’em on the beach; buy +’em on the beach!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, +indignantly.</span> Jimmie Birch——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting upon the fauteuil-stool.</span> Ha, +ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>, wiping his brow.</span> Of course, there is <i>this</i> +to be said, Ma. <span class = "stagedir">Rallying at the idea.</span> It +may be wise of dear Lil to decline Farncombe <i>at first</i>. +It—it—it—it doesn’t do for a girl, does it, to appear +to throw herself at <i>any</i> man, let alone a young fellow of the +position—the—the—the social status——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">207</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Suddenly sitting up and putting her feet to +the floor again.</span> Oh, for mercy’s sake, cease discussing my +affairs in my presence! <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> Mother, why do you keep Uncle Lal +in the dark? <span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Jimmie, why don’t +<i>you</i>——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>In the dark!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Yes, Lal; your flyin’ out at Jimmie over ’er ’armless joke stopped +’er finishin’.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Finishing——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lil’s not on’y refused young Farncombe but she’s gone an’ plighted +’erself to another individual.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Plighted herself——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Passionately.</span> To one of the best! To +one of the best!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stupefied.</span> Do I—do I know +him?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Ha!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">208</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Know him! You know him sufficiently to have plotted and schemed to +prevent his being asked to the party last night.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Did Lal do that?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><i>Did</i> he!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Impudence!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting in the arm-chair by the centre +table—quietly.</span> Jeyes!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Nicko.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Firmly.</span> Nicko.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>But the Captain <i>was</i> at the party last night +notwithstandin’.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Nonsense, Ma!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Yes, Nicko managed to get into the theatre somehow or other.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> And watched you and young +Farncombe——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">209</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>And stationed himself under the portico of Twenty seven, to see who +brought me home.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’E’s always been frightfully jealous, the Captain ’as.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Looking at <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Oh, so <i>really</i> it’s entirely +owing to Lal Roper’s interference that matters were brought to a head +this morning!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Her eyes flashing.</span> Entirely.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Joining in the attack upon <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Yes, if Lal ’ad been content to mind +’is own business——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>And hadn’t meddled——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><i>An’</i> muddled——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Things might have gone on much the same as before.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>An’ might ’ave ended different.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">210</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and walking away to the right.</span> +Ah, no, mother——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and joining <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Certainly they might.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising.</span> Any’ow I ’ope it’ll be a +lesson to Lal——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><i>Do</i> you, Ma!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving over to the girls.</span> Not to put +’is fingers into other people’s pies.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>, with a withering glance at <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Oh, you <i>are</i> sanguine!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and straightening himself out.</span> +Ma—Mrs. Upjohn—Lily——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Scornfully.</span> Hullo, hullo, hullo, +hul-lo——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> P’sh! <span class = +"stagedir">Impressively.</span> Ma—Lily—for +years—longer than it’s agreeable to count—I’ve been a patron +of the drama—particularly musical comedy, of which I’ve studied +the development with especial interest.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">211</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Resting her elbows upon the back of the +settee.</span> Yes, you’ve studied a lot of development, Lal, in your +day.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Ignoring <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> It’s been a fad with me; I put it +no higher than that. <span class = "stagedir">Producing his +gloves.</span> But I’ve devoted time to it——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Any amount.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Drawing a glove on.</span> Often to the +neglect of my ventures in the City. Here I am <i>now</i>, for +instance.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>That’s obvious.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>And—I frankly admit it—I’ve had more than one serious +dispute with <i>Mrs.</i> Roper on the subject. <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> softly whistles a few +bars of “Rule, Britannia.”</span> Yesterday, by a coincidence— +<span class = "stagedir">feeling the outside of his breast-pocket</span> +letter from the wife—full o’ complaints—haven’t been to +Bexhill, to her and the kids, for weeks. And to do Ellen Roper justice, +she’s not the woman to grumble without cause. <span class = +"stagedir">Picking up his hat and cane which he has placed upon the +centre table.</span> Dash it all, home ties <i>are</i> home ties! <span +class = "stagedir">Polishing his hat with his sleeve.</span> And, taking +one consideration with another—and after this—this +occurrence—it’s my intention for the future—my firm +intention——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">212</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Running to <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and throwing her arms around his neck.</span> +Oh, Uncle Lal, not altogether! We’re tired and cross this morning! Not +altogether!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind the centre table.</span> No, no, +Uncle, you mustn’t——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Forgive us! <span class = +"stagedir">Coaxingly.</span> Mother and Jimmie are +cats——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn and Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The door on the left opens, and <span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> +enters with a card on a salver.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> Are you <i>in</i>?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>In?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Surveying <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> with mingled disdain and pity.</span> Oh you +<i>do</i> look washed out!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span>.</span> Never you mind whether I look washed +out or not. Who is it?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> takes the card, reads some writing +upon it, and stands twiddling the card in her fingers.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">213</span> +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p>They’re in the dining-room.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span>, +after a pause.</span> W-wait outside—on the landing.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Gladys.</p> + +<p>Oh, all right. <i>This</i> won’t get my silver cleaned.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> withdraws. <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> waits for the door to close and then walks about +distractedly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh, why can’t they leave me alone! What do they want with me now, +both of them!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving towards <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> ’Oo——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Nicko’s downstairs—with Lord Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Lord Farncombe——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>And Jeyes!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Reading the card again.</span> Nicko asks me +to see him and the boy together. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Roper</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> go to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, one on each +side of her, and try to read the +<span class = "pagenum">214</span> +card. She pushes them from her and sits in the arm-chair by the centre +table.</span> I won’t; I won’t.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Joining <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Yes, +yes, Lil; do.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Bewildered.</span> Wot——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Perhaps they’ve arrived at a friendly +understanding——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Understanding?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Excitedly.</span> And have come to propose +that Lil should choose between them!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Great Scot——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I <i>have</i> chosen; I <i>have</i> chosen. It’s settled.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><i>Undoubtedly</i> she ought to see them.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>It’s a shame to persecute me so—a shame!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie, Mrs. Upjohn, and Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Behind <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily’s</span> chair.</span> Lil! Lily——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">215</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Give ’em a minute, dear.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>Hear what they’ve got to <i>say</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>It <i>would</i> be uncivil <i>not</i> to.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Oh—! Oh——!</p> + +<table class = "dialogue" summary = "three simultaneous lines"> +<tr> +<td width = "50%"> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>Buck up, Lil!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p>My pet!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Ark to reason, dearie.</p> + +</td> +<td class = "bracket tall"> +<p class = "stagedir"> +To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, urgently.</p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie, Mrs. Upjohn, and Roper.</p> + +<p>Lil! Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Yielding helplessly.</span> Oh, very +well——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie, Mrs. Upjohn, and Roper.</p> + +<p>Ah——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Tell Gladys—when I ring——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">216</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Flying to the door on the left.</span> I’ll +tell her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>, importantly.</span> Lucky I was on the spot; lucky I was +on the spot.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">On the landing, to <span class = +"smallcaps">Gladys</span>.</span> Bring the gentlemen up when Miss Lily +rings.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising and pacing the room on the +right.</span> Give me some stockings!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hurrying into the bedroom.</span> Yes, +dearie. <span class = "stagedir">As she disappears.</span> +Maud——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Returning and closing the door and then +whispering to <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Bet my +boots that’s it!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, +in a whisper.</span> Choose between ’em!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>What else can it be?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><i>I</i> can’t——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Throwing herself into <span class = +"smallcaps">Roper’s</span> arms.</span> Oh, if it <i>is</i>!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">217</span> +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Hugging her.</span> Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Suddenly, releasing herself.</span> +Oh——! <span class = "stagedir">Haughtily.</span> Thought you +were Lily.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> returns, carrying a pair of +stockings. <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> seats herself upon the +fauteuil-stool where, concealed by the centre table, she draws on the +stockings with <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn’s</span> +assistance.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Whimpering.</span> Oh—! +Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Don’t, dearie; don’t. Mother’s <i>’ere</i>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Impatiently.</span> I—ah—I think +I’ll run downstairs and shake hands with Jeyes and Farncombe while +Lily’s tidying herself.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Who has moved over to the right—to +<span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span>.</span> Be careful. I should +advise you not to risk it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the door.</span> Risk it?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p>If Nicko knows you were the cause of his being +<span class = "pagenum">218</span> +shut out of the party last night, he’ll simply throttle you.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Roper.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Opening the door.</span> Throttle <i>me</i>! +<span class = "stagedir">Formidably.</span> Throttle Lal +Roper——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +He disappears, closing the door, as <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span> enters from the bedroom with a pair of +shoes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Weakly.</span> Oh! Oh! Oh! Get me something +to keep these up with.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span>.</span> Ribbon——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Snatching the shoes from <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span>.</span> Ribbon.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> opens one of the drawers +underneath the further cupboard on the left and finds a roll of bright, +new ribbon, while <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span>, searching +among the objects on the centre table, discovers the case of manicure +instruments and takes from it a pair of scissors.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Putting on her shoes—to <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</span> No, no; that’s the left +foot—oh——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Don’t agitate yourself, dearie. Mother’s <i>’ere</i>.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> comes to the centre table with the +ribbon and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> cuts off two lengths +from the roll.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">219</span> +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span>.</span> Morning, Miss Jimmie!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span>.</span> Morning!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. +Upjohn</span>.</span> Where’s the mirror? Where’s the mirror?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking the mirror from the table and giving +it to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> ’Ere it is, dearie; +’ere it is. An’ <i>I’m</i> ’ere too.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Viewing herself in the mirror and running +her hand over her hair.</span> Oh, how horrid I look! <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> goes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> with the two lengths of ribbon and <span class = +"smallcaps">Maud</span> replaces the roll in the drawer.</span> Ring the +bell. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +hands <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> the garters, relieving her +of the mirror, and <span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> hastens +to the fireplace and presses the bell-push continuously.</span> That’ll +do, Maud; <i>you</i> hook it.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Maud.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Going to the bedroom door.</span> Ha, ha, +ha! Ho, ho, ho! That’s how I like to hear her talk. Ha, ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maud</span> vanishes into the bedroom, closing +the door, and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, having tied up her +stockings, rises and comes to the settee.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">220</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Still pressing the bell-push.</span> +<i>Now</i> I don’t believe I’ve rung.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the uttermost tension.</span> Ah, stop +it, mother; stop it! <span class = "stagedir">Sitting on the +settee.</span> We’re not calling the fire-brigade.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">At the back of the settee, to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> I’ll wait in your bedroom till the men +have been shown up, and sneak out that way. <span class = +"stagedir">Bending over <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> +Mind! If Nicko <i>is</i> willing, after all, that you should make your +choice——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing.</span> Yes, dearie, if ’e +<i>is</i> willing——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Frantically.</span> I tell you I <i>have</i> +made it. I keep on telling you <i>I’ve chosen—I’ve +chosen—I’ve chosen!</i> <span class = "stagedir">Clenching her +hands.</span> If you torment me any more, either of +you——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Jimmie</span> retreat precipitately to the bedroom door. +They open the door and then, standing in the doorway, listen +intently.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jimmie.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Disappearing.</span> Ah——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Partially disappearing.</span> Ah—! +<span class = "stagedir">Only her head +<span class = "pagenum">221</span> +visible, speaking to <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> in a hoarse +whisper.</span> Mother’s <i>’ere</i>, dearie.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The head is withdrawn and the door softly closed. After a pause, <span +class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> enters at the other door followed by +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>. The men are carrying their hats and canes. +<span class = "smallcaps">Gladys</span> retires, closing the door, and +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> comes to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and shakes hands with her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>, +gently.</span> How are you to-day, Lil? Very fagged?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Almost inaudibly.</span> I <i>am</i> a +little. <span class = "stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> +turns from her, to lay his hat and cane upon the box-ottoman, and then +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, who has hung back, advances +hesitatingly to the further side of the centre table and bows to <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>. She rises and, avoiding his eyes, gives +him a limp hand across the table.</span> How d’ye do? <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> who, having got rid +of his hat and cane, moves away from the ottoman.</span> Sit down, won’t +you? <span class = "stagedir">She resumes her seat upon the settee and +<span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, with a nod, sits in the +arm-chair by the centre table. <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> remains standing and again she addresses +him without meeting his eyes.</span> And you?</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, with another bow, sits upon +the fauteuil-stool. There is a brief silence and then <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> speaks.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Lil——</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">222</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Y-yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>In the first place, Farncombe wants you distinctly to understand how +it is he’s committing this breach of his compact with you. <span class = +"stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>.</span> You +promised——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I promised never to attempt to come near Miss Parradell again, nor +even to enter the theatre.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> And if I’m any judge of a man, Lily, +Farncombe would have kept his promise. He’d have kept it faithfully, but +for <i>me</i>. I’ve brought him along—insisted on it. <span class += "stagedir">Emphatically.</span> <i>I’ve brought him along.</i> +See?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>W-w-why, Nicko?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I’ll tell you, my dear. You remember, when we left you early this +morning, ordering us to walk away together and to part good friends?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>P-perfectly.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Well, we did walk away together, and we did part good friends. But we +didn’t part at all till some hours later, in his rooms. We didn’t part +till I’d made +<span class = "pagenum">223</span> +him stand by me and listen to me while I had a long jaw with my brother +on the ’phone.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Wonderingly.</span> +With—your——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>About that Rhodesian business.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What Rhodesian business?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>I mentioned it to you yesterday. Bob owns a third, with Peter +Chalmers and Tom Dalby, of a group of farms near Bulawayo, and he’s been +badgering me eternally to cut this and to settle out there as their +agent. <span class = "stagedir">Simply.</span> And I’ve accepted, old +girl.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a blank face.</span> Ac-cepted?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Grimly.</span> Leaving you to bring an +action against me, to recover damages for a broken heart. <span class = +"stagedir">Drawing a deep breath.</span> Yes, I’m chucking you, Lil. +I give you formal notice of my intention; and you can drive down to +your solicitors this afternoon and instruct them to writ me without +delay. <span class = "stagedir">Forcing a laugh.</span> Ha, ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Faintly.</span> Nicko——!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">224</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Unless—unless you’ve an idea of consoling yourself shortly +with—with another chap, and prefer not to carry the matter into +Court.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">About to rise.</span> +Nicko——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Restraining her by a gesture.</span> H’sh! +No, no, no. <span class = "stagedir">She sinks back.</span> Ah, +Lil—Lil—I know you’re full of generous, honest +impulses, though I <i>did</i> tear you to rags in Farncombe’s hearing a +few hours ago. But I’m not going to allow you to sacrifice yourself to +them; I—I—I’ve come to my senses, and I’m not going to +permit it. <span class = "stagedir">Bending forward.</span> Oh, my dear, +why should I make you pay for the weaknesses of my character? Because +that’s what it ’ud amount to. I’ve bullied you for having played +skittles with my life, my career. So you <i>have</i>! Damn it, so you +have! But you’ve done it out of blind thoughtlessness; and if I’d been a +fairly strong man, with some ballast in me, you <i>couldn’t</i> have +landed me where I am—not you nor fifty Pandora girls! <span class += "stagedir">Sitting erect.</span> And that—that’s the moral of +the tale; and—and— <span class = "stagedir">abruptly, to +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span></span> There’s nothing more, +is there, Farncombe?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Brokenly.</span> Except that—that I’d +like to repeat—what I’ve already said to Jeyes—that I— +<span class = "stagedir">his elbows on the table, his head bowed</span> +oh, you make me feel terribly small, Jeyes.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">225</span> +<p class = "stagedir"> +Again there is a pause, and then <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> +struggles to her feet and holds out her hand to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> uncertainly, and at once he rises and takes her +in his arms. <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> also rises and, +standing behind the settee, turns his back to <span class = +"smallcaps">Jeyes</span> and <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span>, +choking.</span> Ah, +Nicko—I can’t—I can’t——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Patting her shoulder.</span> +Ah——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Why, what—what would become of my +resolutions——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Resolutions?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>To—to raise you <i>up</i>, Nicko.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>You <i>are</i> raising me up—setting me on my legs again.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">In a fright.</span> And—and drawing +Eddie into my net!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Oh, we’ve talked of that too, he and I. He’s given me an account of +what passed between you here. My dear girl, your conscience may be quite +clear on that +<span class = "pagenum">226</span> +point. Nobody can ever reproach <i>you</i> with trying to draw him into +your net.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>They <i>would</i>—they <i>would</i>——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>At all events, the task you have to face now is to prove to the +world—<i>his</i> world—that Miss Parradell is equal to +playing “lead” on a bigger stage than the stage of the Pandora. <span +class = "stagedir">Holding her at arms’ length and shaking her +fondly.</span> And you’ll <i>do</i> it! Ho, ho, ho, ho! <i>You’ll</i> do +it! Ha, ha, ha—! <span class = "stagedir">His voice dies away +miserably and he releases her. Then, pulling himself together, he looks +at his watch.</span> Well, I’ve got to lunch with Bob at half-past one +at the Junior Carlton——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Agitatedly.</span> Ah, it’s not nearly that, +Nicko; it’s not nearly that! Nicko—! <span class = "stagedir">She +passes him, moving towards the door on the left as if to intercept him, +and then turns to him. A strip of ribbon lies upon the spot where +she has been standing. After gazing at it for a moment, he stoops and +picks it up.</span> Oh—! <span class = "stagedir">He folds the +ribbon carefully and puts it into his pocket.</span> Oh—! <span +class = "stagedir">Hitching up her stocking through her robe, +piteously.</span> Ha, ha!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Ha, ha, ha——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +They face one another, laughing, and then she sits upon the +fauteuil-stool and drops her +<span class = "pagenum">227</span> +head upon the table and he fetches his hat and cane from the +box-ottoman.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Weeping.</span> +Nicko—Nicko——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to her.</span> Oh, this isn’t +good-bye, Lil, not by any manner o’ means, my dear. We’ll kill the +fatted calf several times before I start—you, I, and the boy. +Besides, by-and-by, you and he must take a trip and come out to see me. +“Seringa Vale” is the farm where I shall be quartered, Bob tells me. +<span class = "stagedir">Looking into space.</span> Jermyn Street to +Seringa Vale! <span class = "stagedir">Shaking himself.</span> Ph’h, +there are no great distances in these days! <span class = "stagedir">To +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, with a change of +tone.</span> Farncombe— <span class = "stagedir"><span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span> comes forward.</span> You dine with me +to-night, recollect; it’s an engagement.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Eight o’clock.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Eight o’clock.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p>Catani’s.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Catani’s.</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +Without looking at <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> again, <span +class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> goes to the door and opens it. <span +class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> follows him and the two men halt in +the doorway.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">228</span> +<p class = "speaker">Jeyes.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">To <span class = +"smallcaps">Farncombe</span>, with a motion of his head towards <span +class = "smallcaps">Lily</span>.</span> And afterwards—<i>you</i> +fetch her from the theatre and take her home. That’s <i>your</i> +job.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising.</span> Oh——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> goes out on to the landing +with <span class = "smallcaps">Jeyes</span> and parts from him at the +top of the stairs. Then <span class = "smallcaps">Farncombe</span> +slowly returns, closes the door, and finds <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> sitting upon the settee in a woeful +attitude.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Coming to <span class = +"smallcaps">Lily</span> and standing before her, thoughtfully.</span> +Lily——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Feebly.</span> +Eh—eh——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>I’m afraid there’s one thing finer than winning the woman you love +and, when you’ve won her, being prepared to go through fire and water +for her.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>What’s that?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Having the courage to give her up, as Jeyes has done.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">229</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">With a renewed outburst.</span> Oh, Nicko! +Poor Nicko! Poor Nicko!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Sitting beside her and taking her hand +consolingly.</span> By George, he’s a brick, isn’t he!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">After a pause, drying her eyes.</span> +Eddie——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Yes?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>If—if ever we marry——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">His jaw falling.</span> +<i>If——!</i></p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>W-w-when, then. When we marry, you’ll be obliged to resign your +commission in the Guards, won’t you?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Snapping his fingers.</span> P’sh! I shan’t +care a rap about that.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Snatching her hand away.</span> The snobs! +The snobs! They’d let you marry any bit of trash in your own set; but a +Pandora girl, though she’s as pure as the Queen of +England——! Oh, the contemptible snobs!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">230</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Regaining possession of her hand.</span> +H’sh! H’sh! It—it’s the practice——</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Blow the practice! A cheerful reflection for <i>me</i>, it’ll be. The +arrant snobs!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Stroking her hand.</span> Ah! Ah!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>And then—poor mother! You—you won’t be very proud of poor +mother.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Your mother? <span class = "stagedir">Boyishly.</span> Oh, +she—she’s an awfully good sort.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>She hasn’t an H. to her name.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Inadvertently.</span> She <i>oughtn’t</i> to +have.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Withdrawing her hand again, sharply.</span> +She calls herself <i>H</i>upjohn, you mean!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Distressed.</span> No, no, no. <span class = +"stagedir">In a difficulty.</span> Er—at any rate, h’s don’t lead +you to heaven, do they?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">231</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gloomily.</span> You’re right; mother’s lead +<i>her</i> to <i>’eaven</i>. <span class = "stagedir">Rising and walking +away.</span> Well, you’d better go now.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Rising.</span> And +to-night——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No; I’ll come home alone.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Lily——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Imperatively.</span> +Please——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>When——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Moving to the door on the left.</span> Not +for two or three days. Give me time to shake down over this.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Taking up his hat and cane which he has left +upon the centre table.</span> Sunday?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Fretfully.</span> No.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p>Monday?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Opening the door.</span> No.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">232</span> +<p class = "speaker">Farncombe.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Joining her at the door.</span> Tuesday?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Appealingly.</span> I—I’ll write. +<span class = "stagedir">Again he takes her hand, she keeping him at a +distance. He attempts to lessen the distance, but she checks him, +shaking her head.</span> Not just yet, Eddie. <span class = +"stagedir">He smiles at her tenderly and, with a bow, departs. From the +doorway, she watches him disappear; then she shuts the door and wanders +listlessly to the door of the bedroom. Her hand lingers upon the knob +for a moment, and then she opens the door a little way and calls.</span> +Mother! Mother——!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +She leaves the door and is returning to the settee when <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span> enters.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">All agog.</span> Yes, Lil? <span class = +"stagedir"><span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> seats herself upon the +settee without speaking.</span> Yes, dearie; yes? <span class = +"stagedir">Advancing to the centre table.</span> ’Ave they given you +your choice?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Dully.</span> No; they’ve given me no +choice.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Advancing further.</span> +Wot——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Nicko’s going out to South Africa, mother.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>South Africa!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">233</span> +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Well, to Rhodesia.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Then you’re free, Lil!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>No, I’m not.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Not!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>Nicko—Nicko’s handed me over, mother.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Anded you over!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>To—to Lord Farncombe.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Gasping.</span> An’ you an’ the young +gentleman——!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>I—I suppose so.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Oh—! <span class = "stagedir">Sinking into the arm chair by the +centre table.</span> Oh, the dear Captain!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Transferring herself from the settee to +<span class = "smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn’s</span> lap.</span> Oh! Oh! Oh! +<span class = "stagedir">Putting her arms round <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn’s</span> neck.</span> Oh, poor Nicko!</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">234</span> +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p><span class = "stagedir">Soothingly.</span> ’E’ll ’ave ’is reward, +Lil; ’e’ll ’ave ’is reward ’ereafter.</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>And poor Carlton Smythe! Oh, poor Carlton!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>Poor Carlton——?</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Lily.</p> + +<p>He’s losing every one of his best girls, mother. Gwennie +Harker—Maidie Trevail—Eva Shafto—and now <i>me</i>! +Oh, poor Carlton!</p> + +<p class = "speaker">Mrs. Upjohn.</p> + +<p>’Ush, dearie; ’ush! Don’t consider <i>’im</i>! <span class = +"stagedir">Rocking <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> to and fro like +a baby.</span> Think—think wot a lot o’ good you’re all doin’ to +the aristocracy!</p> + +<p class = "stagedir"> +The door on the left opens and <span class = "smallcaps">Jimmie</span> +and <span class = "smallcaps">Roper</span> look in gleefully and then +tiptoe towards <span class = "smallcaps">Lily</span> and <span class = +"smallcaps">Mrs. Upjohn</span>.</p> + + +<h4 class = "end">THE END.</h4> + + +<div class = "null"> + +<p><i>All applications respecting amateur performances of this play must +be made to Sir Arthur Pinero’s agents, Samuel French, Limited, +Southampton St., London, W.C.</i></p> + +</div> + +<div class = "null"> + +<h6><span class = "smallcaps">Printed by</span><br> +BALLANTYNE & COMPANY LTD<br> +AT THE BALLANTYNE PRESS<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Tavistock Street Covent Garden<br> +London</span></h6> + +</div> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/backlogo.png" width = "68" height = "68" +alt = "section of back cover showing publisher's logo"> +</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The 'Mind the Paint' Girl, by Arthur Pinero + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE 'MIND THE PAINT' GIRL *** + +***** This file should be named 21849-h.htm or 21849-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/8/4/21849/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, Branko Collin and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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