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diff --git a/21772.txt b/21772.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..797bc58 --- /dev/null +++ b/21772.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1742 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Path Of Duty, by Henry James + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Path Of Duty + +Author: Henry James + +Release Date: June 8, 2007 [EBook #21772] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PATH OF DUTY *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE PATH OF DUTY. + +By Henry James + +1885 + + +I am glad I said to you the other night at Doubleton, inquiring--too +inquiring--compatriot, that I wouldn't undertake to tell you the story +(about Ambrose Tester), but would write it out for you; inasmuch as, +thinking it over since I came back to town, I see that it may really be +made interesting. It _is_ a story, with a regular development, and for +telling it I have the advantage that I happened to know about it +from the first, and was more or less in the confidence of every one +concerned. Then it will amuse me to write it, and I shall do so as +carefully and as cleverly as possible The first winter days in London +are not madly gay, so that I have plenty of time; and if the fog is +brown outside, the fire is red within. I like the quiet of this season; +the glowing chimney-corner, in the midst of the December mirk, makes me +think, as I sit by it, of all sorts of things. The idea that is almost +always uppermost is the bigness and strangeness of this London world. +Long as I have lived here,--the sixteenth anniversary of my marriage is +only ten days off,--there is still a kind of novelty and excitement in +it It is a great pull, as they say here, to have remained sensitive,--to +have kept one's own point of view. I mean it's more entertaining,--it +makes you see a thousand things (not that they are all very charming). +But the pleasure of observation does not in the least depend on the +beauty of what one observes. You see innumerable little dramas; in fact, +almost everything has acts and scenes, like a comedy. Very often it is a +comedy with tears. There have been a good many of them, I am afraid, +in the case I am speaking of. It is because this history of Sir Ambrose +Tester and Lady Vandeleur struck me, when you asked me about the +relations of the parties, as having that kind of progression, that when +I was on the point of responding, I checked myself, thinking it a pity +to tell you a little when I might tell you all. I scarcely know what +made you ask, inasmuch as I had said nothing to excite your curiosity. +Whatever you suspected, you suspected on your own hook, as they say. You +had simply noticed the pair together that evening at Doubleton. If you +suspected anything in particular, it is a proof that you are rather +sharp, because they are very careful about the way they behave in +public. At least they think they are. The result, perhaps, doesn't +necessarily follow. If I have been in their confidence you may say that +I make a strange use of my privilege in serving them up to feed the +prejudices of an opinionated American. You think English society very +wicked, and my little story will probably not correct the impression. +Though, after all, I don't see why it should minister to it; for what I +said to you (it was all I did say) remains the truth. They are treading +together the path of duty. You would be quite right about its being base +in me to betray them. It is very true that they have ceased to confide +in me; even Joscelind has said nothing to me for more than a year. That +is doubtless a sign that the situation is more serious than before, all +round,--too serious to be talked about. It is also true that you are +remarkably discreet, and that even if you were not it would not make +much difference, inasmuch as if you were to repeat my revelations in +America, no one would know whom you were talking about. But all the +same, I should be base; and, therefore, after I have written out my +reminiscences for your delectation, I shall simply keep them for my own. +You must content yourself with the explanation I have already given you +of Sir Ambrose Tester and Lady Vandeleur: they are following--hand +in hand, as it were--the path of duty. This will not prevent me from +telling everything; on the contrary, don't you see? + + + + +I. + +His brilliant prospects dated from the death of his brother, who had +no children, had indeed steadily refused to marry. When I say brilliant +prospects, I mean the vision of the baronetcy, one of the oldest in +England, of a charming seventeenth-century house, with its park, in +Dorsetshire, and a property worth some twenty thousand a year. Such a +collection of items is still dazzling to me, even after what you would +call, I suppose, a familiarity with British grandeur. My husband is n't +a baronet (or we probably should n't be in London in December), and he +is far, alas, from having twenty thousand a year. The full enjoyment of +these luxuries, on Ambrose Tester's part, was dependent naturally, on +the death of his father, who was still very much to the fore at the time +I first knew the young man. The proof of it is the way he kept nagging +at his sons, as the younger used to say, on the question of taking a +wife. The nagging had been of no avail, as I have mentioned, with +regard to Francis, the elder, whose affections were centred (his brother +himself told me) on the winecup and the faro-table. He was not an +exemplary or edifying character, and as the heir to an honorable name +and a fine estate was very unsatisfactory indeed. It had been possible +in those days to put him into the army, but it was not possible to keep +him there; and he was still a very young man when it became plain that +any parental dream of a "career" for Frank Tester was exceedingly vain. +Old Sir Edmund had thought matrimony would perhaps correct him, but +a sterner process than this was needed, and it came to him one day at +Monaco--he was most of the time abroad--after an illness so short that +none of the family arrived in time. He was reformed altogether, he was +utterly abolished. + +The second son, stepping into his shoes, was such an improvement that +it was impossible there should be much simulation of mourning. You have +seen him, you know what he is; there is very little mystery about him. +As I am not going to show this composition to you, there is no harm +in my writing here that he is--or at any rate he was--a remarkably +attractive man. I don't say this because he made love to me, but +precisely because he did n't. He was always in love with some one +else,--generally with Lady Vandeleur. You may say that in England +that usually does n't prevent; but Mr. Tester, though he had almost no +intermissions, did n't, as a general thing, have duplicates. He was not +provided with a second loved object, "under-studying," as they say, the +part. It was his practice to keep me accurately informed of the state of +his affections,--a matter about which he was never in the least vague. +When he was in love he knew it and rejoiced in it, and when by a miracle +he was not he greatly regretted it. He expatiated to me on the charms of +other persons, and this interested me much more than if he had attempted +to direct the conversation to my own, as regards which I had no +illusions. He has told me some singular things, and I think I may say +that for a considerable period my most valued knowledge of English +society was extracted from this genial youth. I suppose he usually found +me a woman of good counsel, for certain it is that he has appealed to +me for the light of wisdom in very extraordinary predicaments. In his +earlier years he was perpetually in hot water; he tumbled into scrapes +as children tumble into puddles. He invited them, he invented them; and +when he came to tell you how his trouble had come about (and he always +told the whole truth), it was difficult to believe that a man should +have been so idiotic. + +And yet he was not an idiot; he was supposed to be very clever, +and certainly is very quick and amusing. He was only reckless, and +extraordinarily natural, as natural as if he had been an Irishman. In +fact, of all the Englishmen that I have known he is the most Irish in +temperament (though he has got over it comparatively of late). I used to +tell him that it was a great inconvenience that he didn't speak with a +brogue, because then we should be forewarned, and know with whom we were +dealing. He replied that, by analogy, if he were Irish enough to have +a brogue he would probably be English, which seemed to me an answer +wonderfully in character. Like most young Britons of his class he went +to America, to see the great country, before he was twenty, and he took +a letter to my father, who had occasion, _a propos_ of some pickle of +course, to render him a considerable service. This led to his coming +to see me--I had already been living here three or four years--on +his return; and that, in the course of time, led to our becoming fast +friends, without, as I tell you, the smallest philandering on either +side. But I must n't protest too much; I shall excite your suspicion. +"If he has made love to so many women, why should n't he have made love +to you?"--some inquiry of that sort you will be likely to make. I have +answered it already, "Simply on account of those very engagements." He +could n't make love to every one, and with me it would n't have done him +the least good. It was a more amiable weakness than his brother's, and +he has always behaved very well. How well he behaved on a very important +occasion is precisely the subject of my story. + +He was supposed to have embraced the diplomatic career; had been +secretary of legation at some German capital; but after his brother's +death he came home and looked out for a seat in Parliament. He found it +with no great trouble and has kept it ever since. No one would have the +heart to turn him out, he is so good-looking. It's a great thing to be +represented by one of the handsomest men in England, it creates such a +favorable association of ideas. Any one would be amazed to discover that +the borough he sits for, and the name of which I am always forgetting, +is not a very pretty place. I have never seen it, and have no idea that +it is n't, and I am sure he will survive every revolution. The people +must feel that if they should n't keep him some monster would be +returned. You remember his appearance,--how tall, and fair, and strong +he is, and always laughing, yet without looking silly. He is exactly +the young man girls in America figure to themselves--in the place of the +hero--when they read English novels, and wish to imagine something very +aristocratic and Saxon. A "bright Bostonian" who met him once at my +house, exclaimed as soon as he had gone out of the room, "At last, at +last, I behold it, the mustache of Roland Tremayne!" + +"Of Roland Tremayne!" + +"Don't you remember in _A Lawless Love_, how often it's mentioned, and +how glorious and golden it was? Well, I have never seen it till now, but +now I _have_ seen it!" + +If you had n't seen Ambrose Tester, the best description I could give +of him would be to say that he looked like Roland Tremayne. I don't know +whether that hero was a "strong Liberal," but this is what Sir Ambrose +is supposed to be. (He succeeded his father two years ago, but I shall +come to that.) He is not exactly what I should call thoughtful, +but he is interested, or thinks he is, in a lot of things +that I don't understand, and that one sees and skips in the +newspapers,--volunteering, and redistribution, and sanitation, and the +representation of minors--minorities--what is it? When I said just now +that he is always laughing, I ought to have explained that I did n't +mean when he is talking to Lady Vandeleur. She makes him serious, makes +him almost solemn; by which I don't mean that she bores him. Far from +it; but when he is in her company he is thoughtful; he pulls his golden +mustache, and Roland Tremayne looks as if his vision were turned in, +and he were meditating on her words. He does n't say much himself; it is +she--she used to be so silent--who does the talking. She has plenty to +say to him; she describes to him the charms that she discovers in the +path of duty. He seldom speaks in the House, I believe, but when he does +it's offhand, and amusing, and sensible, and every one likes it. He +will never be a great statesman, but he will add to the softness of +Dorsetshire, and remain, in short, a very gallant, pleasant, prosperous, +typical English gentleman, with a name, a fortune, a perfect appearance, +a devoted, bewildered little wife, a great many reminiscences, a great +many friends (including Lady Vandeleur and myself), and, strange to +say, with all these advantages, something that faintly resembles a +conscience. + + + + +II. + +Five years ago he told me his father insisted on his marrying,--would +not hear of his putting it off any longer. Sir Edmund had been harping +on this string ever since he came back from Germany, had made it both +a general and a particular request, not only urging him to matrimony in +the abstract, but pushing him into the arms of every young woman in the +country. Ambrose had promised, procrastinated, temporized; but at last +he was at the end of his evasions, and his poor father had taken the +tone of supplication. "He thinks immensely of the name, of the place and +all that, and he has got it into his head that if I don't marry before +he dies, I won't marry after." So much I remember Ambrose Tester said to +me. "It's a fixed idea; he has got it on the brain. He wants to see me +married with his eyes, and he wants to take his grandson in his arms. +Not without that will he be satisfied that the whole thing will go +straight. He thinks he is nearing his end, but he isn't,--he will live +to see a hundred, don't you think so?--and he has made me a solemn +appeal to put an end to what he calls his suspense. He has an idea some +one will get hold of me--some woman I can't marry. As if I were not old +enough to take care of myself!" + +"Perhaps he is afraid of me," I suggested, facetiously. + +"No, it is n't you," said my visitor, betraying by his tone that it was +some one, though he didn't say whom. "That's all rot, of course; one +marries sooner or later, and I shall do like every one else. If I marry +before I die, it's as good as if I marry before he dies, is n't it? I +should be delighted to have the governor at my wedding, but it is n't +necessary for the legality, is it?" + +I asked him what he wished me to do, and how I could help him. He knew +already my peculiar views, that I was trying to get husbands for all the +girls of my acquaintance and to prevent the men from taking wives. The +sight of an ummarried woman afflicted me, and yet when my male friends +changed their state I took it as a personal offence. He let me know that +so far as he was concerned I must prepare myself for this injury, for +he had given his father his word that another twelvemonth should not see +him a bachelor. The old man had given him _carte blanche_; he made no +condition beyond exacting that the lady should have youth and health. +Ambrose Tester, at any rate, had taken a vow and now he was going +seriously to look about him. I said to him that what must be must be, +and that there were plenty of charming girls about the land, among +whom he could suit himself easily enough. There was no better match in +England, I said, and he would only have to make his choice. That however +is not what I thought, for my real reflections were summed up in the +silent exclamation, "What a pity Lady Vandeleur isn't a widow!" I hadn't +the smallest doubt that if she were he would marry her on the spot; and +after he had gone I wondered considerably what _she_ thought of this +turn in his affairs. If it was disappointing to me, how little it must +be to _her_ taste! Sir Edmund had not been so much out of the way +in fearing there might be obstacles to his son's taking the step he +desired. Margaret Vandeleur was an obstacle. I knew it as well as if Mr. +Tester had told me. + +I don't mean there was anything in their relation he might not freely +have alluded to, for Lady Vandeleur, in spite of her beauty and +her tiresome husband, was not a woman who could be accused of an +indiscretion. Her husband was a pedant about trifles,--the shape of his +hatbrim, the _pose_ of his coachman, and cared for nothing else; but +she was as nearly a saint as one may be when one has rubbed shoulders +for ten years with the best society in Europe. It is a characteristic +of that society that even its saints are suspected, and I go too far +in saying that little pinpricks were not administered, in considerable +numbers to her reputation. But she did n't feel them, for still +more than Ambrose Tester she was a person to whose happiness a good +conscience was necessary. I should almost say that for her happiness it +was sufficient, and, at any rate, it was only those who didn't know +her that pretended to speak of her lightly. If one had the honor of her +acquaintance one might have thought her rather shut up to her beauty +and her grandeur, but one could n't but feel there was something in her +composition that would keep her from vulgar aberrations. Her husband was +such a feeble type that she must have felt doubly she had been put upon +her honor. To deceive such a man as that was to make him more ridiculous +than he was already, and from such a result a woman bearing his name +may very well have shrunk. Perhaps it would have been worse for Lord +Vandeleur, who had every pretension of his order and none of its +amiability, if he had been a better, or at least, a cleverer man. When a +woman behaves so well she is not obliged to be careful, and there is +no need of consulting appearances when one is one's self an appearance. +Lady Vandeleur accepted Ambrose Tester's attentions, and Heaven knows +they were frequent; but she had such an air of perfect equilibrium that +one could n't see her, in imagination, bend responsive. Incense was +incense, but one saw her sitting quite serene among the fumes. That +honor of her acquaintance of which I just now spoke it had been given me +to enjoy; that is to say, I met her a dozen times in the season in a +hot crowd, and we smiled sweetly and murmured a vague question or two, +without hearing, or even trying to hear, each other's answer. If I knew +that Ambrose Tester was perpetually in and out of her house and always +arranging with her that they should go to the same places, I doubt +whether she, on her side, knew how often he came to see me. I don't +think he would have let her know, and am conscious, in saying this, that +it indicated an advanced state of intimacy (with her, I mean). + +I also doubt very much whether he asked her to look about, on his +behalf, for a future Lady Tester. This request he was so good as to make +of me; but I told him I would have nothing to do with the matter. If +Joscelind is unhappy, I am thankful to say the responsibility is not +mine. I have found English husbands for two or three American girls, but +providing English wives is a different affair. I know the sort of men +that will suit women, but one would have to be very clever to know the +sort of women that will suit men. I told Ambrose Tester that he must +look out for himself, but, in spite of his promise, I had very little +belief that he would do anything of the sort. I thought it probable that +the old baronet would pass away without seeing a new generation come +in; though when I intimated as much to Mr. Tester, he made answer in +substance (it was not quite so crudely said) that his father, old as he +was, would hold on till his bidding was done, and if it should not be +done, he would hold on out of spite. "Oh, he will tire me out;" that +I remember Ambrose Tester did say. I had done him injustice, for six +months later he told me he was engaged. It had all come about very +suddenly. From one day to the other the right young woman had been +found. I forget who had found her; some aunt or cousin, I think; it had +not been the young man himself. But when she was found, he rose to the +occasion; he took her up seriously, he approved of her thoroughly, and +I am not sure that he didn't fall a little in love with her, ridiculous +(excuse my London tone) as this accident may appear. He told me that his +father was delighted, and I knew afterwards that he had good reason to +be. It was not till some weeks later that I saw the girl; but meanwhile +I had received the pleasantest impression of her, and this impression +came--must have come--mainly from what her intended told me. That proves +that he spoke with some positiveness, spoke as if he really believed he +was doing a good thing. I had it on my tongue's end to ask him how Lady +Vandeleur liked her, but I fortunately checked this vulgar inquiry. He +liked her evidently, as I say; every one liked her, and when I knew her +I liked her better even than the others. I like her to-day more than +ever; it is fair you should know that, in reading this account of her +situation. It doubtless colors my picture, gives a point to my sense of +the strangeness of my little story. + +Joscelind Bernardstone came of a military race, and had been brought +up in camps,--by which I don't mean she was one of those objectionable +young women who are known as garrison hacks. She was in the flower of +her freshness, and had been kept in the tent, receiving, as an only +daughter, the most "particular" education from the excellent Lady Emily +(General Bernardstone married a daughter of Lord Clandufly), who looks +like a pink-faced rabbit, and is (after Joscelind) one of the nicest +women I know. When I met them in a country-house, a few weeks after the +marriage was "arranged," as they say here, Joscelind won my affections +by saying to me, with her timid directness (the speech made me feel +sixty years old), that she must thank me for having been so kind to Mr. +Tester. You saw her at Doubleton, and you will remember that though she +has no regular beauty, many a prettier woman would be very glad to look +like her. She is as fresh as a new-laid egg, as light as a feather, +as strong as a mail-phaeton. She is perfectly mild, yet she is clever +enough to be sharp if she would. I don't know that clever women are +necessarily thought ill-natured, but it is usually taken for granted +that amiable women are very limited. Lady Tester is a refutation of the +theory, which must have been invented by a vixenish woman who was _not_ +clever. She has an adoration for her husband, which absorbs her without +in the least making her silly, unless indeed it is silly to be modest, +as in this brutal world I sometimes believe. Her modesty is so great +that being unhappy has hitherto presented itself to her as a form of +egotism,--that egotism which she has too much delicacy to cultivate. She +is by no means sure that if being married to her beautiful baronet is +not the ideal state she dreamed it, the weak point of the affair is not +simply in her own presumption. It does n't express her condition, at +present, to say that she is unhappy or disappointed, or that she has a +sense of injury. All this is latent; meanwhile, what is obvious, is that +she is bewildered,--she simply does n't understand; and her perplexity, +to me, is unspeakably touching. She looks about her for some +explanation, some light. She fixes her eyes on mine sometimes, and on +those of other people, with a kind of searching dumbness, as if there +were some chance that I--that they--may explain, may tell her what it is +that has happened to her. I can explain very well, but not to her,--only +to you! + + + + +III. + +It was a brilliant match for Miss Bernardstone, who had no fortune at +all, and all her friends were of the opinion that she had done very well +After Easter she was in London with her people, and I saw a good deal +of them, in fact, I rather cultivated them. They might perhaps even have +thought me a little patronizing, if they had been given to thinking that +sort of thing. But they were not; that is not in their line. English +people are very apt to attribute motives,--some of them attribute much +worse ones than we poor simpletons in America recognize, than we have +even heard of! But that is only some of them; others don't, but +take everything literally and genially. That was the case with the +Bernardstones; you could be sure that on their way home, after dining +with you, they would n't ask each other how in the world any one could +call you pretty, or say that many people _did_ believe, all the same, +that you had poisoned your grandfather. + +Lady Emily was exceedingly gratified at her daughter's engagement; of +course she was very quiet about it, she did n't clap her hands or drag +in Mr. Tester's name; but it was easy to see that she felt a kind of +maternal peace, an abiding satisfaction. The young man behaved as well +as possible, was constantly seen with Joscelind, and smiled down at her +in the kindest, most protecting way. They looked beautiful together; you +would have said it was a duty for people whose color matched so well to +marry. Of course he was immensely taken up, and did n't come very often +to see me; but he came sometimes, and when he sat there he had a look +which I did n't understand at first. Presently I saw what it expressed; +in my drawing-room he was off duty, he had no longer to sit up and play +a part; he would lean back and rest and draw a long breath, and forget +that the day of his execution was fixed. There was to be no indecent +haste about the marriage; it was not to take place till after the +session, at the end of August It puzzled me and rather distressed me. +that his heart should n't be a little more in the matter; it seemed +strange to be engaged to so charming a girl and yet go through with it +as if it were simply a social duty. If one had n't been in love with her +at first, one ought to have been at the end of a week or two. If Ambrose +Tester was not (and to me he did n't pretend to be), he carried it off, +as I have said, better than I should have expected. He was a gentleman, +and he behaved like a gentleman, with the added punctilio, I think, of +being sorry for his betrothed. But it was difficult to see what, in the +long run, he could expect to make of such a position. If a man +marries an ugly, unattractive woman for reasons of state, the thing is +comparatively simple; it is understood between them, and he need have +no remorse at not offering her a sentiment of which there has been +no question. But when he picks out a charming creature to gratify his +father and _les convenances_, it is not so easy to be happy in not +being able to care for her. It seemed to me that it would have been much +better for Ambrose Tester to bestow himself upon a girl who might have +given him an excuse for tepidity. His wife should have been healthy but +stupid, prolific but morose. Did he expect to continue not to be in +love with Joscelind, or to conceal from her the mechanical nature of his +attentions? It was difficult to see how he could wish to do the one or +succeed in doing the other. Did he expect such a girl as that would be +happy if he did n't love her? and did he think himself capable of being +happy if it should turn out that she was miserable? If she should n't +be miserable,--that is, if she should be indifferent, and, as they say, +console herself, would he like that any better? + +I asked myself all these questions and I should have liked to ask them +of Mr. Tester; but I did n't, for after all he could n't have answered +them. Poor young man! he did n't pry into things as I do; he was not +analytic, like us Americans, as they say in reviews. He thought he was +behaving remarkably well, and so he was--for a man; that was the strange +part of it. It had been proper that in spite of his reluctance he should +take a wife, and he had dutifully set about it. As a good thing is +better for being well done, he had taken the best one he could possibly +find. He was enchanted with--with his young lady, you might ask? Not +in the least; with himself; that is the sort of person a man is! Their +virtues are more dangerous than their vices, and Heaven preserve you +when they want to keep a promise! It is never a promise to _you_, you +will notice. A man will sacrifice a woman to live as a gentleman should, +and then ask for your sympathy--for _him_! And I don't speak of the bad +ones, but of the good. They, after all, are the worst Ambrose Tester, as +I say, did n't go into these details, but synthetic as he might be, was +conscious that his position was false. He felt that sooner or later, and +rather sooner than later, he would have to make it true,--a process that +could n't possibly be agreeable. He would really have to make up his +mind to care for his wife or not to care for her. What would Lady +Vandeleur say to one alternative, and what would little Joscelind say to +the other? That is what it was to have a pertinacious father and to +be an accommodating son. With me, it was easy for Ambrose Tester to be +superficial, for, as I tell you, if I did n't wish to engage him, I did +n't wish to disengage him, and I did n't insist Lady Vandeleur insisted, +I was afraid; to be with her was of course very complicated; even more +than Miss Bernardstone she must have made him feel that his position was +false. I must add that he once mentioned to me that she had told him +he ought to marry. At any rate, it is an immense thing to be a pleasant +fellow. Our young fellow was so universally pleasant that of course his +_fiancee_ came in for her share. So did Lady Emily, suffused with hope, +which made her pinker than ever; she told me he sent flowers even to +her. One day in the Park, I was riding early; the Row was almost empty. +I came up behind a lady and gentleman who were walking their horses, +close to each other, side by side In a moment I recognized her, but not +before seeing that nothing could have been more benevolent than the way +Ambrose Tester was bending over his future wife. If he struck me as a +lover at that moment, of course he struck her so. But that is n't the +way they ride to-day. + + + + +IV. + +One day, about the end of June, he came in to see me when I had two +or three other visitors; you know that even at that season I am almost +always at home from six to seven. He had not been three minutes in the +room before I saw that he was different,--different from what he +had been the last time, and I guessed that something had happened in +relation to his marriage. My visitors did n't, unfortunately, and they +stayed and stayed until I was afraid he would have to go away without +telling me what, I was sure, he had come for. But he sat them out; I +think that by exception they did n't find him pleasant. After we were +alone he abused them a little, and then he said, "Have you heard about +Vandeleur? He 's very ill. She's awfully anxious." I had n't heard, and +I told him so, asking a question or two; then my inquiries ceased, +my breath almost failed me, for I had become aware of something very +strange. The way he looked at me when he told me his news was a full +confession,--a confession so full that I had needed a moment to take it +in. He was not too strong a man to be taken by surprise,--not so strong +but that in the presence of an unexpected occasion his first movement +was to look about for a little help. I venture to call it help, the sort +of thing he came to me for on that summer afternoon. It is always help +when a woman who is not an idiot lets an embarrassed man take up her +time. If he too is not an idiot, that does n't diminish the service; on +the contrary his superiority to the average helps him to profit. Ambrose +Tester had said to me more than once, in the past, that he was capable +of telling me things, because I was an American, that he would n't +confide to his own people. He had proved it before this, as I have +hinted, and I must say that being an American, with him, was sometimes a +questionable honor. I don't know whether he thinks us more discreet and +more sympathetic (if he keeps up the system: he has abandoned it with +me), or only more insensible, more proof against shocks; but it is +certain that, like some other Englishmen I have known, he has appeared, +in delicate cases, to think I would take a comprehensive view. When I +have inquired into the grounds of this discrimination in our favor, he +has contented himself with saying, in the British-cursory manner, "Oh, +I don't know; you are different!" I remember he remarked once that our +impressions were fresher. And I am sure that now it was because of my +nationality, in addition to other merits, that he treated me to the +confession I have just alluded to. At least I don't suppose he would +have gone about saying to people in general, "Her husband will probably +die, you know; then why should n't I marry Lady Vandeleur?" + +That was the question which his whole expression and manner asked of me, +and of which, after a moment, I decided to take no notice. Why shouldn't +he? There was an excellent reason why he should n't It would just kill +Joscelind Bernardstone; that was why he should n't? The idea that he +should be ready to do it frightened me, and independent as he might +think my point of view, I had no desire to discuss such abominations. It +struck me as an abomination at this very first moment, and I have never +wavered in my judgment of it. I am always glad when I can take the +measure of a thing as soon as I see it; it 's a blessing to _feel_ what +we think, without balancing and comparing. It's a great rest, too, and +a great luxury. That, as I say, was the case with the feeling excited in +me by this happy idea of Ambrose Tester's. Cruel and wanton I thought it +then, cruel and wanton I thought it later, when it was pressed upon me. +I knew there were many other people that did n't agree with me, and I +can only hope for them that their conviction was as quick and positive +as mine; it all depends upon the way a thing strikes one. But I will add +to this another remark. I thought I was right then, and I still think I +was right; but it strikes me as a pity that I should have wished so +much to be right Why could n't I be content to be wrong; to renounce my +influence (since I appeared to possess the mystic article), and let my +young friend do as he liked? As you observed the situation at Doubleton, +should n't you say it was of a nature to make one wonder whether, after +all, one did render a service to the younger lady? + +At all events, as I say, I gave no sign to Ambrose Tester that I +understood him, that I guessed what he wished to come to. He got no +satisfaction out of me that day; it is very true that he made up for it +later. I expressed regret at Lord Vandeleur's illness, inquired into its +nature and origin, hoped it would n't prove as grave as might be +feared, said I would call at the house and ask about him, commiserated +discreetly her ladyship, and in short gave my young man no chance +whatever. He knew that I had guessed his _arriere-pensee_, but he let +me off for the moment, for which I was thankful; either because he was +still ashamed of it, or because he supposed I was reserving myself for +the catastrophe,--should it occur. Well, my dear, it did occur, at the +end of ten days. Mr. Tester came to see me twice in that interval, each +time to tell me that poor Vandeleur was worse; he had some internal +inflammation which, in nine cases out of ten, is fatal. His wife was +all devotion; she was with him night and day. I had the news from other +sources as well; I leave you to imagine whether in London, at the height +of the season, such a situation could fail to be considerably discussed. +To the discussion as yet, however, I contributed little, and with +Ambrose Tester nothing at all. I was still on my guard. I never admitted +for a moment that it was possible there should be any change in his +plans. By this time, I think, he had quite ceased to be ashamed of his +idea, he was in a state almost of exaltation about it; but he was very +angry with me for not giving him an opening. + +As I look back upon the matter now, there is something almost amusing in +the way we watched each other,--he thinking that I evaded his question +only to torment him (he believed me, or pretended to believe me, capable +of this sort of perversity), and I determined not to lose ground by +betraying an insight into his state of mind which he might twist into an +expression of sympathy. I wished to leave my sympathy where I had placed +it, with Lady Emily and her daughter, of whom I continued, bumping +against them at parties, to have some observation. They gave no signal +of alarm; of course it would have been premature. The girl, I am sure, +had no idea of the existence of a rival. How they had kept her in the +dark I don't know; but it was easy to see she was too much in love to +suspect or to criticise. With Lady Emily it was different; she was a +woman of charity, but she touched the world at too many points not to +feel its vibrations. However, the dear little woman planted herself +firmly; to the eye she was still enough. It was not from Ambrose Tester +that I first heard of Lord Vandeleur's death; it was announced, with a +quarter of a column of "padding," in the _Times_. I have always known +the _Times_ was a wonderful journal, but this never came home to me so +much as when it produced a quarter of a column about Lord Vandeleur. It +was a triumph of word-spinning. If he had carried out his vocation, if +he had been a tailor or a hatter (that's how I see him), there might +have been something to say about him. But he missed his vocation, he +missed everything but posthumous honors. I was so sure Ambrose Tester +would come in that afternoon, and so sure he knew I should expect him, +that I threw over an engagement on purpose. But he didn't come in, nor +the next day, nor the next. There were two possible explanations of +his absence. One was that he was giving all his time to consoling Lady +Vandeleur; the other was that he was giving it all, as a blind, to +Joscelind Bernardstone. Both proved incorrect, for when he at last +turned up he told me he had been for a week in the country, at his +father's. Sir Edmund also had been unwell; but he had pulled through +better than poor Lord Vandeleur. I wondered at first whether his son had +been talking over with him the question of a change of base; but guessed +in a moment that he had not suffered this alarm. I don't think that +Ambrose would have spared him if he had thought it necessary to give him +warning; but he probably held that his father would have no ground for +complaint so long as he should marry some one; would have no right to +remonstrate if he simply transferred his contract. Lady Vandeleur had +had two children (whom she had lost), and might, therefore, have +others whom she should n't lose; that would have been a reply to nice +discriminations on Sir Edmund's part. + + + + +V. + +In reality, what the young man had been doing was thinking it over +beneath his ancestral oaks and beeches. His countenance showed +this,--showed it more than Miss Bernardstone could have liked. He looked +like a man who was crossed, not like a man who was happy, in love. I was +no more disposed than before to help him out with his plot, but at the +end of ten minutes we were articulately discussing it. When I say _we_ +were, I mean he was; for I sat before him quite mute, at first, and +amazed at the clearness with which, before his conscience, he had +argued his case. He had persuaded himself that it was quite a simple +matter to throw over poor Joscelind and keep himself free for the +expiration of Lady Vandeleur's term of mourning. The deliberations of +an impulsive man sometimes land him in strange countries. Ambrose Tester +confided his plan to me as a tremendous secret. He professed to wish +immensely to know how it appeared to me, and whether my woman's +wit could n't discover for him some loophole big enough round, some +honorable way of not keeping faith. Yet at the same time he seemed +not to foresee that I should, of necessity, be simply horrified. +Disconcerted and perplexed (a little), that he was prepared to find me; +but if I had refused, as yet, to come to his assistance, he appeared to +suppose it was only because of the real difficulty of suggesting to him +that perfect pretext of which he was in want. He evidently counted upon +me, however, for some illuminating proposal, and I think he would have +liked to say to me, "You have always pretended to be a great friend of +mine,"--I hadn't; the pretension was all on his side,--"and now is +your chance to show it. Go to Joscelind and make her feel (women have +a hundred ways of doing that sort of thing), that through Vandeleur's +death the change in my situation is complete. If she is the girl I take +her for, she will know what to do in the premises." + +I was not prepared to oblige him to this degree, and I lost no time +in telling him so, after my first surprise at seeing how definite his +purpose had become. His contention, after all, was very simple. He had +been in love with Lady Vandeleur for years, and was now more in love +with her than ever. There had been no appearance of her being, within a +calculable period, liberated by the death of her husband. This nobleman +was--he didn't say what just then (it was too soon)--but he was only +forty years old, and in such health and preservation as to make such a +contingency infinitely remote. Under these circumstances, Ambrose had +been driven, for the most worldly reasons--he was ashamed of them, +pah!--into an engagement with a girl he did n't love, and did n't +pretend to love. Suddenly the unexpected occurred; the woman he did +love had become accessible to him, and all the relations of things were +altered. + +Why should n't he alter, too? Why should n't Miss Bernardstone alter, +Lady Emily alter, and every one alter? It would be _wrong_ in him to +marry Joscelind in so changed a world;--a moment's consideration would +certainly assure me of that. He could no longer carry out his part of +the bargain, and the transaction must stop before it went any further. +If Joscelind knew, she would be the first to recognize this, and the +thing for her now was to know. + +"Go and tell her, then, if you are so sure of it," I said. "I wonder you +have put it off so many days." + +He looked at me with a melancholy eye. "Of course I know it's beastly +awkward." + +It was beastly awkward certainly; there I could quite agree with him, +and this was the only sympathy he extracted from me. It was impossible +to be less helpful, less merciful, to an embarrassed young man than +I was on that occasion. But other occasions followed very quickly, on +which Mr. Tester renewed his appeal with greater eloquence. He assured +me that it was torture to be with his intended, and every hour that he +did n't break off committed him more deeply and more fatally. I repeated +only once my previous question,--asked him only once why then he did n't +tell her he had changed his mind. The inquiry was idle, was even unkind, +for my young man was in a very tight place. He did n't tell her, simply +because he could n't, in spite of the anguish of feeling that his chance +to right himself was rapidly passing away. When I asked him if Joscelind +appeared to have guessed nothing, he broke out, "How in the world can +she guess, when I am so kind to her? I am so sorry for her, poor little +wretch, that I can't help being nice to her. And from the moment I am +nice to her she thinks it's all right." + +I could see perfectly what he meant by that, and I liked him more for +this little generosity than I disliked him for his nefarious scheme. +In fact, I did n't dislike him at all when I saw what an influence my +judgment would have on him. I very soon gave him the full benefit of +it. I had thought over his case with all the advantages of his own +presentation of it, and it was impossible for me to see how he could +decently get rid of the girl. That, as I have said, had been my original +opinion, and quickened reflection only confirmed it. As I have also +said, I had n't in the least recommended him to become engaged; but once +he had done so I recommended him to abide by it. It was all very well +being in love with Lady Vandeleur; he might be in love with her, but he +had n't promised to marry her. It was all very well not being in love +with Miss Bernardstone; but, as it happened, he had promised to marry +her, and in my country a gentleman was supposed to keep such promises. +If it was a question of keeping them only so long as was convenient, +where would any of us be? I assure you I became very eloquent and +moral,--yes, moral, I maintain the word, in spite of your perhaps +thinking (as you are very capable of doing) that I ought to have advised +him in just the opposite sense. It was not a question of love, but +of marriage, for he had never promised to love poor Joscelind. It was +useless his saying it was dreadful to marry without love; he knew that +he thought it, and the people he lived with thought it, nothing of the +kind. Half his friends had married on those terms. "Yes, and a pretty +sight their private life presented!" That might be, but it was the first +time I had ever heard him say it. A fortnight before he had been quite +ready to do like the others. I knew what I thought, and I suppose I +expressed it with some clearness, for my arguments made him still more +uncomfortable, unable as he was either to accept them or to act in +contempt of them. Why he should have cared so much for my opinion is +a mystery I can't elucidate; to understand my little story, you must +simply swallow it. That he did care is proved by the exasperation with +which he suddenly broke out, "Well, then, as I understand you, what you +recommend me is to marry Miss Bernardstone, and carry on an intrigue +with Lady Vandeleur!" + +He knew perfectly that I recommended nothing of the sort, and he must +have been very angry to indulge in this _boutade_. He told me that other +people did n't think as I did--that every one was of the opinion that +between a woman he did n't love and a woman he had adored for years +it was a plain moral duty not to hesitate. "Don't hesitate then!" I +exclaimed; but I did n't get rid of him with this, for he returned to +the charge more than once (he came to me so often that I thought he must +neglect both his other alternatives), and let me know again that the +voice of society was quite against my view. You will doubtless be +surprised at such an intimation that he had taken "society" into his +confidence, and wonder whether he went about asking people whether they +thought he might back out. I can't tell you exactly, but I know that +for some weeks his dilemma was a great deal talked about. His friends +perceived he was at the parting of the roads, and many of them had no +difficulty in saying which one _they_ would take. Some observers thought +he ought to do nothing, to leave things as they were. Others took very +high ground and discoursed upon the sanctity of love and the wickedness +of really deceiving the girl, as that would be what it would amount to +(if he should lead her to the altar). Some held that it was too late to +escape, others maintained that it is never too late. Some thought Miss +Bernardstone very much to be pitied; some reserved their compassion for +Ambrose Tester; others, still, lavished it upon Lady Vandeleur. + +The prevailing opinion, I think, was that he ought to obey the +promptings of his heart--London cares so much for the heart! Or is it +that London is simply ferocious, and always prefers the spectacle that +is more entertaining? As it would prolong the drama for the young man to +throw over Miss Bernardstone, there was a considerable readiness to see +the poor girl sacrificed. She was like a Christian maiden in the Roman +arena. That is what Ambrose Tester meant by telling me that public +opinion was on his side. I don't think he chattered about his quandary, +but people, knowing his situation, guessed what was going on in his +mind, and he on his side guessed what they said. London discussions +might as well go on in the whispering-gallery of St. Paul's. I could of +course do only one thing,--I could but reaffirm my conviction that the +Roman attitude, as I may call it, was cruel, was falsely sentimental. +This naturally did n't help him as he wished to be helped,--did n't +remove the obstacle to his marrying in a year or two Lady Vandeleur. Yet +he continued to look to me for inspiration,--I must say it at the cost +of making him appear a very feeble-minded gentleman. There was a moment +when I thought him capable of an oblique movement, of temporizing with a +view to escape. If he succeeded in postponing his marriage long enough, +the Bernardstones would throw _him_ over, and I suspect that for a day +he entertained the idea of fixing this responsibility on them. But he +was too honest and too generous to do so for longer, and his destiny was +staring him in the face when an accident gave him a momentary relief. +General Bernardstone died, after an illness as sudden and short as that +which had carried off Lord Vandeleur; his wife and daughter were plunged +into mourning and immediately retired into the country. A week later +we heard that the girl's marriage would be put off for several +months,--partly on account of her mourning, and partly because her +mother, whose only companion she had now become, could not bear to part +with her at the time originally fixed and actually so near. People of +course looked at each other,--said it was the beginning of the end, +a "dodge" of Ambrose Tester's. I wonder they did n't accuse him of +poisoning the poor old general. I know to a certainty that he had +nothing to do with the delay, that the proposal came from Lady Emily, +who, in her bereavement, wished, very naturally, to keep a few months +longer the child she was going to lose forever. It must be said, in +justice to her prospective son-in-law, that he was capable either of +resigning himself or of frankly (with however many blushes) telling +Joscelind he could n't keep his agreement, but was not capable of trying +to wriggle out of his difficulty. The plan of simply telling Joscelind +he couldn't,--this was the one he had fixed upon as the best, and this +was the one of which I remarked to him that it had a defect which should +be counted against its advantages. The defect was that it would kill +Joscelind on the spot. + +I think he believed me, and his believing me made this unexpected +respite very welcome to him. There was no knowing what might happen in +the interval, and he passed a large part of it in looking for an issue. +And yet, at the same time, he kept up the usual forms with the girl whom +in his heart he had renounced. I was told more than once (for I had lost +sight of the pair during the summer and autumn) that these forms were at +times very casual, that he neglected Miss Bernardstone most flagrantly, +and had quite resumed his old intimacy with Lady Vandeleur. I don't +exactly know what was meant by this, for she spent the first three +months of her widowhood in complete seclusion, in her own old house +in Norfolk, where he certainly was not staying with her. I believe he +stayed some time, for the partridge shooting, at a place a few miles +off. It came to my ears that if Miss Bernardstone did n't take the hint +it was because she was determined to stick to him through thick and +thin. She never offered to let him off, and I was sure she never would; +but I was equally sure that, strange as it may appear, he had not ceased +to be nice to her. I have never exactly understood why he didn't hate +her, and I am convinced that he was not a comedian in his conduct to +her,--he was only a good fellow. I have spoken of the satisfaction that +Sir Edmund took in his daughter-in-law that was to be; he delighted in +looking at her, longed for her when she was out of his sight, and +had her, with her mother, staying with him in the country for weeks +together. If Ambrose was not so constantly at her side as he might have +been, this deficiency was covered by his father's devotion to her, by +her appearance of being already one of the family. Mr. Tester was away +as he might be away if they were already married. + + + + +VI. + +In October I met him at Doubleton; we spent three days there together. +He was enjoying his respite, as he didn't scruple to tell me; and he +talked to me a great deal--as usual--about Lady Vandeleur. He did n't +mention Joscelind's name, except by implication in this assurance of how +much he valued his weeks of grace. + +"Do you mean to say that, under the circumstances, Lady Vandeleur is +willing to marry you?" + +I made this inquiry more expressively, doubtless, than before; for when +we had talked of the matter then he had naturally spoken of her consent +as a simple contingency. It was contingent upon the lapse of the first +months of her bereavement; it was not a question he could begin to press +a few days after her husband's death. + +"Not immediately, of course; but if I wait, I think so." That, I +remember, was his answer. + +"If you wait till you get rid of that poor girl, of course." + +"She knows nothing about that,--it's none of her business." + +"Do you mean to say she does n't know you are engaged?" + +"How should she know it, how should she believe it, when she sees how I +love her?" the young man exclaimed; but he admitted afterwards that he +had not deceived her, and that she rendered full justice to the motives +that had determined him. He thought he could answer for it that she +would marry him some day or other. + +"Then she is a very cruel woman," I said, "and I should like, if you +please, to hear no more about her." He protested against this, and, a +month later, brought her up again, for a purpose. The purpose, you will +see, was a very strange one indeed. I had then come back to town; it +was the early part of December. I supposed he was hunting, with his own +hounds; but he appeared one afternoon in my drawing-room and told me I +should do him a great favor if I would go and see Lady Vandeleur. + +"Go and see her? Where do you mean, in Norfolk?" + +"She has come up to London--did n't you know it? She has a lot of +business. She will be kept here till Christmas; I wish you would go." + +"Why should I go?" I asked. "Won't you be kept here till Christmas too, +and is n't that company enough for her?" + +"Upon my word, you are cruel," he said, "and it's a great shame of you, +when a man is trying to do his duty and is behaving like a saint." + +"Is that what you call saintly, spending all your time with Lady +Vandeleur? I will tell you whom I think a saint, if you would like to +know." + +"You need n't tell me; I know it better than you. I haven't a word to +say against her; only she is stupid and hasn't any perceptions. If I am +stopping a bit in London you don't understand why; it's as if you had +n't any perceptions either! If I am here for a few days, I know what I +am about." + +"Why should I understand?" I asked,--not very candidly, because I should +have been glad to. "It's your own affair; you know what you are about, +as you say, and of course you have counted the cost." + +"What cost do you mean? It's a pretty cost, I can tell you." And then +he tried to explain--if I would only enter into it, and not be so +suspicious. He was in London for the express purpose of breaking off. + +"Breaking off what,--your engagement?" + +"No, no, damn my engagement,--the other thing. My acquaintance, my +relations--" + +"Your intimacy with Lady Van--?" It was not very gentle, but I believe +I burst out laughing. "If this is the way you break off, pray what would +you do to keep up?" + +He flushed, and looked both foolish and angry, for of course it was not +very difficult to see my point. But he was--in a very clumsy manner of +his own--trying to cultivate a good conscience, and he was getting no +credit for it. "I suppose I may be allowed to look at her! It's a matter +we have to talk over. One does n't drop such a friend in half an hour." + +"One does n't drop her at all, unless one has the strength to make a +sacrifice." + +"It's easy for you to talk of sacrifice. You don't know what she is!" my +visitor cried. + +"I think I know what she is not. She is not a friend, as you call her, +if she encourages you in the wrong, if she does n't help you. No, I have +no patience with her," I declared; "I don't like her, and I won't go to +see her!" + +Mr. Tester looked at me a moment, as if he were too vexed to trust +himself to speak. He had to make an effort not to say something rude. +That effort however, he was capable of making, and though he held his +hat as if he were going to walk out of the house, he ended by staying, +by putting it down again, by leaning his head, with his elbows on +his knees, in his hands, and groaning out that he had never heard +of anything so impossible, and that he was the most wretched man in +England. I was very sorry for him, and of course I told him so; but +privately I did n't think he stood up to his duty as he ought. I said to +him, however, that if he would give me his word of honor that he would +not abandon Miss Bernardstone, there was no trouble I would n't take +to be of use to him. I did n't think Lady Vandeleur _was_ behaving well. +He must allow me to repeat that; but if going to see her would give him +any pleasure (of course there was no question of pleasure for _her_) I +would go fifty times. I could n't imagine how it would help him, but I +would do it as I would do anything else he asked me. He did n't give me +his word of honor, but he said quietly, "_I_ shall go straight; you need +n't be afraid;" and as he spoke there was honor enough in his face. +This left an opening, of course, for another catastrophe. There might be +further postponements, and poor Lady Emily, indignant for the first +time in her life, might declare that her daughter's situation had become +intolerable and that they withdrew from the engagement. But this was too +odious a chance, and I accepted Mr. Tester's assurance. He told me that +the good I could do by going to see Lady Vandeleur was that it would +cheer her up, in that dreary, big house in Upper Brook Street, where +she was absolutely alone, with horrible overalls on the furniture, and +newspapers--actually newspapers--on the mirrors. She was seeing no one, +there was no one to see; but he knew she would see me. I asked him if +she knew, then, he was to speak to me of coming, and whether I might +allude to him, whether it was not too delicate. I shall never forget his +answer to this, nor the tone in which he made it, blushing a little, and +looking away. "Allude to me? Rather!" It was not the most fatuous speech +I had ever heard; it had the effect of being the most modest; and it +gave me an odd idea, and especially a new one, of the condition in +which, at any time, one might be destined to find Lady Vandeleur. If +she, too, were engaged in a struggle with her conscience (in this light +they were an edifying pair!) it had perhaps changed her considerably, +made her more approachable; and I reflected, ingeniously, that it +probably had a humanizing effect upon her. Ambrose Tester did n't go +away after I had told him that I would comply with his request. He +lingered, fidgeting with his stick and gloves, and I perceived that he +had more to tell me, and that the real reason why he wished me to go and +see Lady Vandeleur was not that she had newspapers on her mirrors. He +came out with it at last, for that "Rather!" of his (with the way I took +it) had broken the ice. + +"You say you don't think she behaved well" (he naturally wished to +defend her). "But I dare say you don't understand her position. Perhaps +you would n't behave any better in her place." + +"It's very good of you to imagine me there!" I remarked, laughing. + +"It's awkward for me to say. One doesn't want to dot one's i's to that +extent." + +"She would be delighted to marry you. That's not such a mystery." + +"Well, she likes me awfully," Mr. Tester said, looking like a handsome +child. "It's not all on one side; it's on both. That's the difficulty." + +"You mean she won't let you go?--she holds you fast?" + +But the poor fellow had, in delicacy, said enough, and at this he jumped +up. He stood there a moment, smoothing his hat; then he broke out again: +"Please do this. Let her know--make her feel. You can bring it in, you +know." And here he paused, embarrassed. + +"What can I bring in, Mr. Tester? That's the difficulty, as you say." + +"What you told me the other day. You know. What you have told me +before." + +"What I have told you--?" + +"That it would put an end to Joscelind! If you can't work round to it, +what's the good of being--you?" And with this tribute to my powers he +took his departure. + + + + +VII. + +It was all very well of him to be so flattering, but I really did n't +see myself talking in that manner to Lady Vandeleur. I wondered why he +didn't give her this information himself, and what particular value it +could have as coming from me. Then I said to myself that of course he +_had_ mentioned to her the truth I had impressed upon him (and which by +this time he had evidently taken home), but that to enable it to produce +its full effect upon Lady Yandeleur the further testimony of a witness +more independent was required. There was nothing for me but to go and +see her, and I went the next day, fully conscious that to execute Mr. +Tester's commission I should have either to find myself very brave or +to find her strangely confidential; and fully prepared, also, not to be +admitted. But she received me, and the house in Upper Brook Street was +as dismal as Ambrose Tester had represented it. The December fog (the +afternoon was very dusky) seemed to pervade the muffled rooms, and her +ladyship's pink lamplight to waste itself in the brown atmosphere. +He had mentioned to me that the heir to the title (a cousin of her +husband), who had left her unmolested for several months, was now taking +possession of everything, so that what kept her in town was the business +of her "turning out," and certain formalities connected with her dower. +This was very ample, and the large provision made for her included the +London house. She was very gracious on this occasion, but she certainly +had remarkably little to say. Still, she was different, or at any rate +(having taken that hint), I saw her differently. I saw, indeed, that I +had never quite done her justice, that I had exaggerated her stiffness, +attributed to her a kind of conscious grandeur which was in reality much +more an accident of her appearance, of her figure, than a quality of +her character. Her appearance is as grand as you know, and on the day +I speak of, in her simplified mourning, under those vaguely gleaming +_lambris_, she looked as beautiful as a great white lily. She is very +simple and good-natured; she will never make an advance, but she will +always respond to one, and I saw, that evening, that the way to get on +with her was to treat her as if she were not too imposing. I saw also +that, with her nun-like robes and languid eyes, she was a woman who +might be immensely in love. All the same, we hadn't much to say to +each other. She remarked that it was very kind of me to come, that she +wondered how I could endure London at that season, that she had taken a +drive and found the Park too dreadful, that she would ring for some more +tea if I did n't like what she had given me. Our conversation wandered, +stumbling a little, among these platitudes, but no allusion was made +on either side to Ambrose Tester. Nevertheless, as I have said, she was +different, though it was not till I got home that I phrased to myself +what I had detected. + +Then, recalling her white face, and the deeper, stranger expression +of her beautiful eyes, I entertained myself with the idea that she was +under the influence of "suppressed exaltation." The more I thought of +her the more she appeared to me not natural; wound up, as it were, to +a calmness beneath which there was a deal of agitation. This would have +been nonsense if I had not, two days afterwards, received a note +from her which struck me as an absolutely "exalted" production. Not +superficially, of course; to the casual eye it would have been perfectly +commonplace. But this was precisely its peculiarity, that Lady Vandeleur +should have written me a note which had no apparent point save that +she should like to see me again, a desire for which she did succeed in +assigning a reason. She reminded me that she was paying no calls, and +she hoped I wouldn't stand on ceremony, but come in very soon again, she +had enjoyed my visit so much. We had not been on note-writing terms, and +there was nothing in that visit to alter our relations; moreover, six +months before, she would not have dreamed of addressing me in that +way. I was doubly convinced, therefore, that she was passing through a +crisis, that she was not in her normal state of nerves. Mr. Tester had +not reappeared since the occasion I have described at length, and I +thought it possible he had been capable of the bravery of leaving town. +I had, however, no fear of meeting him in Upper Brook Street; for, +according to my theory of his relations with Lady Vaudeleur, he +regularly spent his evenings with her, it being clear to me that they +must dine together. I could answer her note only by going to see her +the next day, when I found abundant confirmation of that idea about +the crisis. I must confess to you in advance that I have never really +understood her behavior,--never understood why she should have taken +me so suddenly--with whatever reserves, and however much by implication +merely--into her confidence. All I can say is that this is an accident +to which one is exposed with English people, who, in my opinion, +and contrary to common report, are the most demonstrative, the most +expansive, the most gushing in the world. I think she felt rather +isolated at this moment, and she had never had many intimates of her own +sex. That sex, as a general thing, disapproved of her proceedings during +the last few months, held that she was making Joscelind Bernardstone +suffer too cruelly. She possibly felt the weight of this censure, and at +all events was not above wishing some one to know that whatever injury +had fallen upon the girl to whom Mr. Tester had so stupidly engaged +himself, had not, so far as she was concerned, been wantonly inflicted. +I was there, I was more or less aware of her situation, and I would do +as well as any one else. + +She seemed really glad to see me, but she was very nervous. +Nevertheless, nearly half an hour elapsed, and I was still wondering +whether she had sent for me only to discuss the question of how a London +house whose appointments had the stamp of a debased period (it had been +thought very handsome in 1850) could be "done up" without being made +aesthetic. I forget what satisfaction I gave her on this point; I +was asking myself how I could work round in the manner prescribed by +Joscelind's intended. At the last, however, to my extreme surprise, Lady +Vandeleur herself relieved me of this effort. + +"I think you know Mr. Tester rather well," she remarked, abruptly, +irrelevantly, and with a face' more conscious of the bearings of +things than any I had ever seen her wear. On my confessing to such an +acquaintance, she mentioned that Mr. Tester (who had been in London a +few days--perhaps I had seen him) had left town and would n't come back +for several weeks. This, for the moment, seemed to be all she had to +communicate; but she sat looking at me from the corner of her sofa as if +she wished me to profit in some way by the opportunity she had given me. +Did she want help from outside, this proud, inscrutable woman, and was +she reduced to throwing out signals of distress? Did she wish to be +protected against herself,--applauded for such efforts as she had +already made? I didn't rush forward, I was not precipitate, for I felt +that now, surely, I should be able at my convenience to execute my +commission. What concerned me was not to prevent Lady Vandeleur's +marrying Mr. Tester, but to prevent Mr. Tester's marrying her. In a few +moments--with the same irrelevance--she announced to me that he wished +to, and asked whether I didn't know it I saw that this was my chance, +and instantly, with extreme energy, I exclaimed,-- + +"Ah, for Heaven's sake don't listen to him! It would kill Miss +Bernardstone!" + +The tone of my voice made her color a little, and she repeated, "Miss +Bernardstone?" + +"The girl he is engaged to,--or has been,--don't you know? Excuse me, I +thought every one knew." + +"Of course I know he is dreadfully entangled. He was fairly hunted +down." Lady Vandeleur was silent a moment, and then she added, with a +strange smile, "Fancy, in such a situation, his wanting to marry me!" + +"Fancy!" I replied. I was so struck with the oddity of her telling +me her secrets that for the moment my indignation did not come to a +head,--my indignation, I mean, at her accusing poor Lady Emily (and even +the girl herself) of having "trapped" our friend. Later I said to myself +that I supposed she was within her literal right in abusing her rival, +if she was trying sincerely to give him up. "I don't know anything +about his having been hunted down," I said; "but this I do know, Lady +Vandeleur, I assure you, that if he should throw Joscelind over she +would simply go out like that!" And I snapped my fingers. + +Lady Vandeleur listened to this serenely enough; she tried at least to +take the air of a woman who has no need of new arguments. "Do you know +her very well?" she asked, as if she had been struck by my calling Miss +Bernardstone by her Christian name. + +"Well enough to like her very much." I was going to say "to pity her;" +but I thought better of it. + +"She must be a person of very little spirit. If a man were to jilt me, I +don't think I should go out!" cried her ladyship with a laugh. + +"Nothing is more probable than that she has not your courage or your +wisdom. She may be weak, but she is passionately in love with him." + +I looked straight into Lady Vandeleur's eyes as I said this, and I was +conscious that it was a tolerably good description of my hostess. + +"Do you think she would really die?" she asked in a moment. + +"Die as if one should stab her with a knife. Some people don't believe +in broken hearts," I continued. "I did n't till I knew Joscelind +Bernardstone; then I felt that she had one that would n't be proof." + +"One ought to live,--one ought always to live," said Lady Yandeleur; +"and always to hold up one's head." + +"Ah, I suppose that one ought n't to feel at all, if one wishes to be a +great success." + +"What do you call a great success?" she asked. + +"Never having occasion to be pitied." + +"Being pitied? That must be odious!" she said; and I saw that though she +might wish for admiration, she would never wish for sympathy. Then, in +a moment, she added that men, in her opinion, were very base,--a remark +that was deep, but not, I think, very honest; that is, in so far as the +purpose of it had been to give me the idea that Ambrose Tester had done +nothing but press her, and she had done nothing but resist. They were +very odd, the discrepancies in the statements of each of this pair; but +it must be said for Lady Vandeleur that now that she had made up her +mind (as I believed she had) to sacrifice herself, she really persuaded +herself that she had not had a moment of weakness. She quite unbosomed +herself, and I fairly assisted at her crisis. It appears that she had +a conscience,--very much so, and even a high ideal of duty. She +represented herself as moving heaven and earth to keep Ambrose Tester up +to the mark, and you would never have guessed from what she told me that +she had entertained ever so faintly the idea of marrying him. I am sure +this was a dreadful perversion, but I forgave it on the score of that +exaltation of which I have spoken. The things she said, and the way she +said them, come back to me, and I thought that if she looked as handsome +as that when she preached virtue to Mr. Tester, it was no wonder he +liked the sermon to be going on perpetually. + +"I dare say you know what old friends we are; but that does n't make any +difference, does it? Nothing would induce me to marry him,--I have n't +the smallest intention of marrying again. It is not a time for me to +think of marrying, before his lordship has been dead six months. The +girl is nothing to me; I know nothing about her, and I don't wish to +know; but I should be very, very sorry if she were unhappy. He is the +best friend I ever had, but I don't see that that's any reason I should +marry him, do you?" Lady Vaudeleur appealed to me, but without waiting +for my answers, asking advice in spite of herself, and then remembering +it was beneath her dignity to appear to be in need of it. "I have told +him that if he does n't act properly I shall never speak to him again. +She's a charming girl, every one says, and I have no doubt she will make +him perfectly happy. Men don't feel things like women, I think, and if +they are coddled and flattered they forget the rest. I have no doubt she +is very sufficient for all that. For me, at any rate, once I see a +thing in a certain way, I must abide by that I think people are so +dreadful,--they do such horrible things. They don't seem to think what +one's duty may be. I don't know whether you think much about that, but +really one must at times, don't you think so? Every one is so selfish, +and then, when they have never made an effort or a sacrifice themselves, +they come to you and talk such a lot of hypocrisy. I know so much +better than any one else whether I should marry or not. But I don't +mind telling you that I don't see why I should. I am not in such a bad +position,--with my liberty and a decent maintenance." + +In this manner she rambled on, gravely and communicatively, +contradicting herself at times; not talking fast (she never did), but +dropping one simple sentence, with an interval, after the other, with +a certain richness of voice which always was part of the charm of her +presence. She wished to be convinced against herself, and it was a +comfort to her to hear herself argue. I was quite willing to be part +of the audience, though I had to confine myself to very superficial +remarks; for when I had said the event I feared would kill Miss +Bernardstone I had said everything that was open to me. I had nothing +to do with Lady Vandeleur's marrying, apart from that I probably +disappointed her. She had caught a glimpse of the moral beauty of +self-sacrifice, of a certain ideal of conduct (I imagine it was rather +new to her), and would have been glad to elicit from me, as a person +of some experience of life, an assurance that such joys are not +insubstantial. I had no wish to wind her up to a spiritual ecstasy from +which she would inevitably descend again, and I let her deliver herself +according to her humor, without attempting to answer for it that she +would find renunciation the road to bliss. I believed that if she should +give up Mr. Tester she would suffer accordingly; but I did n't think +that a reason for not giving him up. Before I left her she said to me +that nothing would induce her to do anything that she did n't think +right. "It would be no pleasure to me, don't you see? I should be always +thinking that another way would have been better. Nothing would induce +me,--nothing, nothing!" + + + + +VIII. + +She protested too much, perhaps, but the event seemed to show that she +was in earnest. I have described these two first visits of mine in some +detail, but they were not the only ones I paid her. I saw her several +times again, before she left town, and we became intimate, as London +intimacies are measured. She ceased to protest (to my relief, for it +made me nervous), she was very gentle, and gracious, and reasonable, and +there was something in the way she looked and spoke that told me that +for the present she found renunciation its own reward. So far, my +scepticism was put to shame; her spiritual ecstasy maintained itself. +If I could have foreseen then that it would maintain itself till the +present hour I should have felt that Lady Vandeleur's moral nature is +finer indeed than mine. I heard from her that Mr. Tester remained at his +father's, and that Lady Emily and her daughter were also there. The day +for the wedding had been fixed, and the preparations were going rapidly +forward. Meanwhile--she didn't tell me, but I gathered it from things +she dropped--she was in almost daily correspondence with the young man. +I thought this a strange concomitant of his bridal arrangements; but +apparently, henceforth, they were bent on convincing each other that +the torch of virtue lighted their steps, and they couldn't convince +each other too much. She intimated to me that she had now effectually +persuaded him (always by letter), that he would fail terribly if he +should try to found his happiness on an injury done to another, and that +of course she could never be happy (in a union with him), with the +sight of his wretchedness before her. That a good deal of correspondence +should be required to elucidate this is perhaps after all not +remarkable. One day, when I was sitting with her (it was just before she +left town), she suddenly burst into tears. Before we parted I said to +her that there were several women in London I liked very much,--that was +common enough,--but for her I had a positive respect, and that was rare. +My respect continues still, and it sometimes makes me furious. + +About the middle of January Ambrose Tester reappeared in town. He told +me he came to bid me good-by. He was going to be beheaded. It was no +use saying that old relations would be the same after a man was married; +they would be different, everything would be different. I had wanted him +to marry, and now I should see how I liked it He did n't mention that I +had also wanted him not to marry, and I was sure that if Lady Vandeleur +had become his wife, she would have been a much greater impediment to +our harmless friendship than Joscelind Bernardstone would ever be. It +took me but a short time to observe that he was in very much the same +condition as Lady Vandeleur. He was finding how sweet it is to renounce, +hand in hand with one we love. Upon him, too, the peace of the Lord had +descended. He spoke of his father's delight at the nuptials being so +near at hand; at the festivities that would take place in Dorsetshire +when he should bring home his bride. The only allusion he made to what +we had talked of the last time we were together was to exclaim suddenly, +"How can I tell you how easy she has made it? She is so sweet, so +noble. She really is a perfect creature!" I took for granted that he +was talking of his future wife, but in a moment, as we were at +cross-purposes, perceived that he meant Lady Vandeleur. This seemed to +me really ominous. It stuck in my mind after he had left me. I was half +tempted to write him a note, to say, "There is, after all, perhaps, +something worse than your jilting Miss Bernardstone would be; and that +is the danger that your rupture with Lady Vandeleur may become more of a +bond than your marrying her would have been For Heaven's sake, let your +sacrifice _be_ a sacrifice; keep it in its proper place!" + +Of course I did n't write; even the slight responsibility I had already +incurred began to frighten me, and I never saw Mr. Tester again till he +was the husband of Joscelind Bernardstone. They have now been married +some four years; they have two children, the eldest of whom is, as he +should be, a boy. Sir Edmund waited till his grandson had made good his +place in the world, and then, feeling it was safe, he quietly, genially +surrendered his trust. He died, holding the hand of his daughter-in-law, +and giving it doubtless a pressure which was an injunction to be brave. +I don't know what he thought of the success of his plan for his son; +but perhaps, after all, he saw nothing amiss, for Joscelind is the last +woman in the world to have troubled him with her sorrows. From him, +no doubt, she successfully concealed that bewilderment on which I have +touched. You see I speak of her sorrows as if they were a matter of +common recognition; certain it is that any one who meets her must see +that she does n't pass her life in joy. Lady Vandeleur, as you know, has +never married again; she is still the most beautiful widow in England. +She enjoys the esteem of every one, as well as the approbation of her +conscience, for every one knows the sacrifice she made, knows that she +was even more in love with Sir Ambrose than he was with her. She goes +out again, of course, as of old, and she constantly meets the baronet +and his wife. She is supposed to be even "very nice" to Lady Tester, +and she certainly treats her with exceeding civility. But you know (or +perhaps you don't know) all the deadly things that, in London, may lie +beneath that method. I don't in the least mean that Lady Vandeleur has +any deadly intentions; she is a very good woman, and I am sure that in +her heart she thinks she lets poor Joscelind off very easily. But the +result of the whole situation is that Joscelind is in dreadful fear of +her, for how can she help seeing that she has a very peculiar power over +her husband? There couldn't have been a better occasion for observing +the three together (if together it may be called, when Lady Tester is so +completely outside), than those two days of ours at Doubleton. That's +a house where they have met more than once before; I think she and Sir +Ambrose like it. By "she" I mean, as he used to mean, Lady Vandeleur. +You saw how Lady Tester was absolutely white with uneasiness. What can +she do when she meets everywhere the implication that if two people +in our time have distinguished themselves for their virtue, it is her +husband and Lady Vandeleur? It is my impression that this pair are +exceedingly happy. His marriage _has_ made a difference, and I see him +much less frequently and less intimately. But when I meet him I notice +in him a kind of emanation of quiet bliss. Yes, they are certainly in +felicity, they have trod the clouds together, they have soared into the +blue, and they wear in their faces the glory of those altitudes. They +encourage, they cheer, inspire, sustain, each other, remind each other +that they have chosen the better part Of course they have to meet for +this purpose, and their interviews are filled, I am sure, with its +sanctity. He holds up his head, as a man may who on a very critical +occasion behaved like a perfect gentleman. It is only poor Joscelind +that droops. Have n't I explained to you now why she does n't +understand? + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Path Of Duty, by Henry James + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PATH OF DUTY *** + +***** This file should be named 21772.txt or 21772.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/7/7/21772/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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