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diff --git a/21771.txt b/21771.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a817b6 --- /dev/null +++ b/21771.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2837 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Georgina's Reasons, by Henry James + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Georgina's Reasons + +Author: Henry James + +Release Date: June 8, 2007 [EBook #21771] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GEORGINA'S REASONS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +GEORGINA'S REASONS + +By Henry James + +1885 + + + + +PART I. + + + + +I. + +She was certainly a singular girl, and if he felt at the end that he +did n't know her nor understand her, it is not surprising that he should +have felt it at the beginning. But he felt at the beginning what he +did not feel at the end, that her singularity took the form of a charm +which--once circumstances had made them so intimate--it was impossible +to resist or conjure away. He had a strange impression (it amounted +at times to a positive distress, and shot through the sense of +pleasure--morally speaking--with the acuteness of a sudden twinge of +neuralgia) that it would be better for each of them that they should +break off short and never see each other again. In later years he called +this feeling a foreboding, and remembered two or three occasions when he +had been on the point of expressing it to Georgina. Of course, in fact, +he never expressed it; there were plenty of good reasons for that. Happy +love is not disposed to assume disagreeable duties, and Raymond Benyon's +love was happy, in spite of grave presentiments, in spite of the +singularity of his mistress and the insufferable rudeness of her +parents. She was a tall, fair girl, with a beautiful cold eye and a +smile of which the perfect sweetness, proceeding from the lips, was full +of compensation; she had auburn hair of a hue that could be qualified as +nothing less than gorgeous, and she seemed to move through life with a +stately grace, as she would have walked through an old-fashioned minuet. +Gentlemen connected with the navy have the advantage of seeing many +types of women; they are able to compare the ladies of New York with +those of Valparaiso, and those of Halifax with those of the Cape of Good +Hope. Eaymond Benyon had had these advantages, and being very fond +of women he had learnt his lesson; he was in a position to appreciate +Georgina Gressie's fine points. She looked like a duchess,--I don't mean +that in foreign ports Benyon had associated with duchesses,--and she +took everything so seriously. That was flattering for the young man, +who was only a lieutenant, detailed for duty at the Brooklyn navy-yard, +without a penny in the world but his pay, with a set of plain, numerous, +seafaring, God-fearing relations in New Hampshire, a considerable +appearance of talent, a feverish, disguised ambition, and a slight +impediment in his speech. + +He was a spare, tough young man, his dark hair was straight and +fine, and his face, a trifle pale, was smooth and carefully drawn. +He stammered a little, blushing when he did so, at long intervals. +I scarcely know how he appeared on shipboard, but on shore, in his +civilian's garb, which was of the neatest, he had as little as possible +an aroma of winds and waves. He was neither salt nor brown, nor red, nor +particularly "hearty." He never twitched up his trousers, nor, so far as +one could see, did he, with his modest, attentive manner, carry himself +as one accustomed to command. Of course, as a subaltern, he had more +to do in the way of obeying. He looked as if he followed some sedentary +calling, and was, indeed, supposed to be decidedly intellectual. He +was a lamb with women, to whose charms he was, as I have hinted, +susceptible; but with men he was different, and, I believe, as much of a +wolf as was necessary. He had a manner of adoring the handsome, insolent +queen of his affections (I will explain in a moment why I call +her insolent); indeed, he looked up to her literally as well as +sentimentally; for she was the least bit the taller of the two. He had +met her the summer before, on the piazza of a hotel at Fort Hamilton, to +which, with a brother officer, in a dusty buggy, he had driven over from +Brooklyn to spend a tremendously hot Sunday,--the kind of day when the +navy-yard was loathsome; and the acquaintance had been renewed by his +calling in Twelfth Street on New-Year's Day,--a considerable time +to wait for a pretext, but which proved the impression had not been +transitory. The acquaintance ripened, thanks to a zealous cultivation +(on his part) of occasions which Providence, it must be confessed, +placed at his disposal none too liberally; so that now Georgina took +up all his thoughts and a considerable part of his time. He was in love +with her, beyond a doubt; but he could not flatter himself that she was +in love with him, though she appeared willing (what was so strange) to +quarrel with her family about him. He did n't see how she could really +care for him,--she seemed marked out by nature for so much greater +a fortune; and he used to say to her, "Ah, you don't--there's no use +talking, you don't--really care for me at all!" To which she answered, +"Really? You are very particular. It seems to me it's real enough if I +let you touch one of my fingertips! "That was one of her ways of being +insolent Another was simply her manner of looking at him, or at +other people (when they spoke to her), with her hard, divine blue +eye,--looking quietly, amusedly, with the air of considering (wholly +from her own point of view) what they might have said, and then turning +her head or her back, while, without taking the trouble to answer them, +she broke into a short, liquid, irrelevant laugh. This may seem to +contradict what I said just now about her taking the young lieutenant +in the navy seriously. What I mean is that she appeared to take him more +seriously than she took anything else. She said to him once, "At any +rate you have the merit of not being a shop-keeper;" and it was by this +epithet she was pleased to designate most of the young men who at that +time flourished in the best society of New York. Even if she had rather +a free way of expressing general indifference, a young lady is supposed +to be serious enough when she consents to marry you. For the rest, +as regards a certain haughtiness that might be observed in Geoigina +Gressie, my story will probably throw sufficient light upon it She +remarked to Benyon once that it was none of his business why she liked +him, but that, to please herself, she did n't mind telling him she +thought the great Napoleon, before he was celebrated, before he had +command of the army of Italy, must have looked something like him; +and she sketched in a few words the sort of figure she imagined +the incipient Bonaparte to have been,--short, lean, pale, poor, +intellectual, and with a tremendous future under his hat Benyon asked +himself whether _he_ had a tremendous future, and what in the world +Geoigina expected of him in the coming years. He was flattered at the +comparison, he was ambitious enough not to be frightened at it, and he +guessed that she perceived a certain analogy between herself and the +Empress Josephine. She would make a very good empress. That was true; +Georgina was remarkably imperial. This may not at first seem to make it +more clear why she should take into her favor an aspirant who, on the +face of the matter, was not original, and whose Corsica was a flat New +England seaport; but it afterward became plain that he owed his brief +happiness--it was very brief--to her father's opposition; her father's +and her mother's, and even her uncles' and her aunts'. In those days, +in New York, the different members of a family took an interest in its +alliances, and the house of Gressie looked askance at an engagement +between the most beautiful of its daughters and a young man who was not +in a paying business. Georgina declared that they were meddlesome and +vulgar,--she could sacrifice her own people, in that way, without +a scruple,--and Benyon's position improved from the moment that Mr. +Gressie--ill-advised Mr. Gressie--ordered the girl to have nothing to do +with him. Georgina was imperial in this--that she wouldn't put up with +an order. When, in the house in Twelfth Street, it began to be talked +about that she had better be sent to Europe with some eligible friend, +Mrs. Portico, for instance, who was always planning to go, and who +wanted as a companion some young mind, fresh from manuals and extracts, +to serve as a fountain of history and geography,--when this scheme for +getting Georgina out of the way began to be aired, she immediately said +to Raymond Benyon, "Oh, yes, I 'll marry you!" She said it in such an +off-hand way that, deeply as he desired her, he was almost tempted to +answer, "But, my dear, have you really thought about it?" + +This little drama went on, in New York, in the ancient days, when +Twelfth Street had but lately ceased to be suburban, when the squares +had wooden palings, which were not often painted; when there were +poplars in important thoroughfares and pigs in the lateral ways; when +the theatres were miles distant from Madison Square, and the battered +rotunda of Castle Garden echoed with expensive vocal music; when "the +park" meant the grass-plats of the city hall, and the Bloomingdale +road was an eligible drive; when Hoboken, of a summer afternoon, was a +genteel resort, and the handsomest house in town was on the corner +of the Fifth Avenue and Fifteenth Street. This will strike the modern +reader, I fear, as rather a primitive epoch; but I am not sure that the +strength of human passions is in proportion to the elongation of a city. +Several of them, at any rate, the most robust and most familiar,--love, +ambition, jealousy, resentment, greed,--subsisted in considerable force +in the little circle at which we have glanced, where a view by no means +favorable was taken of Raymond Benyon's attentions to Miss Gressie. +Unanimity was a family trait among these people (Georgina was an +exception), especially in regard to the important concerns of life, such +as marriages and closing scenes. The Gressies hung together; they +were accustomed to do well for themselves and for each other. They did +everything well: got themselves born well (they thought it excellent to +be born a Gressie), lived well, married well, died well, and managed to +be well spoken of afterward. In deference to this last-mentioned habit, +I must be careful what I say of them. They took an interest in each +other's concerns, an interest that could never be regarded as of a +meddlesome nature, inasmuch as they all thought alike about all their +affairs, and interference took the happy form of congratulation and +encouragement. These affairs were invariably lucky, and, as a general +thing, no Gressie had anything to do but feel that another Gressie had +been almost as shrewd and decided as he himself would have been. The +great exception to that, as I have said, was this case of Georgina, who +struck such a false note, a note that startled them all, when she told +her father that she should like to unite herself to a young man engaged +in the least paying business that any Gressie had ever heard of. Her two +sisters had married into the most flourishing firms, and it was not +to be thought of that--with twenty cousins growing up around her--she +should put down the standard of success. Her mother had told her a +fortnight before this that she must request Mr. Benyon to cease coming +to the house; for hitherto his suit had been of the most public and +resolute character. He had been conveyed up town from the Brooklyn +ferry, in the "stage," on certain evenings, had asked for Miss Georgina +at the door of the house in Twelfth Street, and had sat with her in the +front parlor if her parents happened to occupy the back, or in the back +if the family had disposed itself in the front. Georgina, in her way, +was a dutiful girl, and she immediately repeated her mother's admonition +to Beuyon. He was not surprised, for though he was aware that he had +not, as yet, a great knowledge of society, he flattered himself he could +tell when--and where--a young man was not wanted. There were houses in +Brooklyn where such an animal was much appreciated, and there the signs +were quite different They had been discouraging--except on Georgina's +pail--from the first of his calling in Twelfth Street Mr. and Mrs. +Gressie used to look at each other in silence when he came in, and +indulge in strange, perpendicular salutations, without any shaking of +hands. People did that at Portsmouth, N.H., when they were glad to +see you; but in New York there was more luxuriance, and gesture had a +different value. He had never, in Twelfth Street, been asked to "take +anything," though the house had a delightful suggestion, a positive +aroma, of sideboards,--as if there were mahogany "cellarettes" under +every table. The old people, moreover, had repeatedly expressed surprise +at the quantity of leisure that officers in the navy seemed to enjoy. +The only way in which they had not made themselves offensive was +by always remaining in the other room; though at times even this +detachment, to which he owed some delightful moments, presented itself +to Benyon as a form of disapprobation. Of course, after Mrs. Gressie's +message, his visits were practically at an end; he would n't give the +girl up, but he would n't be beholden to her father for the opportunity +to converse with her. Nothing was left for the tender couple--there +was a curious mutual mistrust in their tenderness--but to meet in the +squares, or in the topmost streets, or in the sidemost avenues, on +the afternoons of spring. It was especially during this phase of their +relations that Georgina struck Benyon as imperial Her whole person +seemed to exhale a tranquil, happy consciousness of having broken a law. +She never told him how she arranged the matter at home, how she found it +possible always to keep the appointments (to meet him out of the house) +that she so boldly made, in what degree she dissimulated to her parents, +and how much, in regard to their continued acquaintance, the old people +suspected and accepted. If Mr. and Mrs. Gressie had forbidden him the +house, it was not, apparently, because they wished her to walk with him +in the Tenth Avenue or to sit at his side under the blossoming lilacs +in Stuyvesant Square. He didn't believe that she told lies in Twelfth +Street; he thought she was too imperial to lie; and he wondered what she +said to her mother when, at the end of nearly a whole afternoon of vague +peregrination with her lover, this bridling, bristling matron asked her +where she had been. Georgina was capable of simply telling the truth; +and yet if she simply told the truth, it was a wonder that she had not +been simply packed off to Europe. + +Benyon's ignorance of her pretexts is a proof that this rather +oddly-mated couple never arrived at perfect intimacy,--in spite of a +fact which remains to be related. He thought of this afterwards, and +thought how strange it was that he had not felt more at liberty to ask +her what she did for him, and how she did it, and how much she suffered +for him. She would probably not have admitted that she suffered at all, +and she had no wish to pose for a martyr. Benyon remembered this, as +I say, in the after years, when he tried to explain to himself certain +things which simply puzzled him; it came back to him with the vision, +already faded, of shabby cross-streets, straggling toward rivers, with +red sunsets, seen through a haze of dust, at the end; a vista through +which the figures of a young man and a girl slowly receded and +disappeared,--strolling side by side, with the relaxed pace of desultory +talk, but more closely linked as they passed into the distance, linked +by its at last appearing safe to them--in the Tenth Avenue--that the +young lady should take his arm. They were always approaching that +inferior thoroughfare; but he could scarcely have told you, in those +days, what else they were approaching. He had nothing in the world but +his pay, and he felt that this was rather a "mean" income to offer Miss +Gressie. Therefore he did n't put it forward; what he offered, instead, +was the expression--crude often, and almost boyishly extravagant--of a +delighted admiration of her beauty, the tenderest tones of his voice, +the softest assurances of his eye and the most insinuating pressure of +her hand at those moments when she consented to place it in his arm. +All this was an eloquence which, if necessary, might have been condensed +into a single sentence; but those few words were scarcely needful, when +it was as plain that he expected--in general--she would marry him, as it +was indefinite that he counted upon her for living on a few hundreds +a year. If she had been a different girl he might have asked her to +wait,--might have talked to her of the coming of better days, of his +prospective promotion, of its being wiser, perhaps, that he should leave +the navy and look about for a more lucrative career. With Georgina it +was difficult to go into such questions; she had no taste whatever for +detail. She was delightful as a woman to love, because when a young man +is in love he discovers that; but she could not be called helpful, for +she never suggested anything. That is, she never had done so till the +day she really proposed--for that was the form it took--to become his +wife without more delay. "Oh, yes, I will marry you;" these words, which +I quoted a little way back, were not so much the answer to something he +had said at the moment, as the light conclusion of a report she had just +made, for the first time, of her actual situation in her father's house. + +"I am afraid I shall have to see less of you," she had begun by saying. +"They watch me so much." + +"It is very little already," he answered. "What is once or twice a +week?" + +"That's easy for you to say. You are your own master, but you don't know +what I go through." + +"Do they make it very bad for you, dearest? Do they make scenes?" Benyon +asked. + +"No, of course not. Don't you know us enough to know how we behave? No +scenes,--that would be a relief. However, I never make them myself, and +I never will--that's one comfort for you, for the future, if you want to +know. Father and mother keep very quiet, looking at me as if I were one +of the lost, with hard, screwing eyes, like gimlets. To me they scarcely +say anything, but they talk it all over with each other, and try and +decide what is to be done. It's my belief that father has written to the +people in Washington--what do you call it! the Department--to have you +moved away from Brooklyn,--to have you sent to sea." + +"I guess that won't do much good. They want me in Brooklyn, they don't +want me at sea." + +"Well, they are capable of going to Europe for a year, on purpose to +take me," Geoigina said. + +"How can they take you, if you won't go? And if you should go, what good +would it do, if you were only to find me here when you came back, just +the same as you left me?" + +"Oh, well!" said Georgina, with her lovely smile, "of course they think +that absence would cure me of--cure me of--" And she paused, with a +certain natural modesty, not saying exactly of what. + +"Cure you of what, darling? Say it, please say it," the young man +murmured, drawing her hand surreptitiously into his arm. + +"Of my absurd infatuation!" + +"And would it, dearest?" + +"Yes, very likely. But I don't mean to try. I sha'n't go to Europe,--not +when I don't want to. But it's better I should see less of you,--even +that I should appear--a little--to give you up." + +"A little? What do you call a little?" + +Georgina said nothing, for a moment. "Well, that, for instance, you +should n't hold my hand quite so tight!" And she disengaged this +conscious member from the pressure of his arm. + +"What good will that do?" Benyon asked, + +"It will make them think it 's all over,--that we have agreed to part." + +"And as we have done nothing of the kind, how will that help us?" + +They had stopped at the crossing of a street; a heavy dray was lumbering +slowly past them. Georgina, as she stood there, turned her face to +her lover, and rested her eyes for some moments on his own. At last: +"Nothing will help us; I don't think we are very happy," she answered, +while her strange, ironical, inconsequent smile played about her +beautiful lips. + +"I don't understand how you see things. I thought you were going to say +you would marry me!" Benyon rejoined, standing there still, though the +dray had passed. + +"Oh, yes, I will marry you!" And she moved away, across the street. That +was the manner in which she had said it, and it was very characteristic +of her. When he saw that she really meant it, he wished they were +somewhere else,--he hardly knew where the proper place would be,--so +that he might take her in his arms. Nevertheless, before they separated +that day he had said to her he hoped she remembered they would be very +poor, reminding her how great a change she would find it She answered +that she should n't mind, and presently she said that if this was all +that prevented them the sooner they were married the better. The next +time he saw her she was quite of the same opinion; but he found, to his +surprise, it was now her conviction that she had better not leave her +father's house. The ceremony should take place secretly, of course; but +they would wait awhile to let their union be known. + +"What good will it do us, then?" Raymond Benyon asked. + +Georgina colored. "Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you!" + +Then it seemed to him that he did know. Yet, at the same time, he could +not see why, once the knot was tied, secrecy should be required. When +he asked what special event they were to wait for, and what should give +them the signal to appear as man and wife, she answered that her parents +would probably forgive her, if they were to discover, not too abruptly, +after six months, that she had taken the great step. Benyon supposed +that she had ceased to care whether they forgave her or not; but he +had already perceived that women are full of inconsistencies. He had +believed her capable of marrying him out of bravado, but the pleasure of +defiance was absent if the marriage was kept to themselves. Now, too, it +appeared that she was not especially anxious to defy,--she was disposed +rather to manage, to cultivate opportunities and reap the fruits of a +waiting game. + +"Leave it to me. Leave it to me. You are only a blundering man," +Georgina said. "I shall know much better than you the right moment for +saying, 'Well, you may as well make the best of it, because we have +already done it!'" + +That might very well be, but Benyon did n't quite understand, and he was +awkwardly anxious (for a lover) till it came over him afresh that +there was one thing at any rate in his favor, which was simply that +the loveliest girl he had ever seen was ready to throw herself into his +arms. When he said to her, "There is one thing I hate in this plan of +yours,--that, for ever so few weeks, so few days, your father should +support my wife,"--when he made this homely remark, with a little flush +of sincerity in his face, she gave him a specimen of that unanswerable +laugh of hers, and declared that it would serve Mr. Gressie right for +being so barbarous and so horrid. It was Benyon's view that from the +moment she disobeyed her father, she ought to cease to avail herself +of his protection; but I am bound to add that he was not particularly +surprised at finding this a kind of honor in which her feminine +nature was little versed. To make her his wife first--at the earliest +moment--whenever she would, and trust to fortune, and the new influence +he should have, to give him, as soon thereafter as possible, complete +possession of her,--this rather promptly presented itself to the young +man as the course most worthy of a person of spirit. He would be only +a pedant who would take nothing because he could not get everything at +once. They wandered further than usual this afternoon, and the dusk was +thick by the time he brought her back to her father's door. It was not +his habit to como so near it, but to-day they had so much to talk about +that he actually stood with her for ten minutes at the foot of the +steps. He was keeping her hand in his, and she let it rest there while +she said,--by way of a remark that should sum up all their reasons and +reconcile their differences,-- + +"There's one great thing it will do, you know; it will make me safe." + +"Safe from what?" + +"From marrying any one else." + +"Ah, my girl, if you were to do that--!" Benyon exclaimed; but he did +n't mention the other branch of the contingency. Instead of this, he +looked up at the blind face of the house--there were only dim lights in +two or three windows, and no apparent eyes--and up and down the empty +street, vague in the friendly twilight; after which he drew Georgina +Gressie to his breast and gave her a long, passionate kiss. Yes, +decidedly, he felt, they had better be married. She had run quickly up +the steps, and while she stood there, with her hand on the bell, she +almost hissed at him, under her breath, "Go away, go away; Amanda's +coming!" Amanda was the parlor-maid, and it was in those terms that the +Twelfth Street Juliet dismissed her Brooklyn Romeo. As he wandered back +into the Fifth Avenue, where the evening air was conscious of a vernal +fragrance from the shrubs in the little precinct of the pretty Gothic +church ornamenting that charming part of the street, he was too absorbed +in the impression of the delightful contact from which the girl had +violently released herself to reflect that the great reason she had +mentioned a moment before was a reason for their marrying, of course, +but not in the least a reason for their not making it public. But, as I +said in the opening lines of this chapter, if he did not understand his +mistress's motives at the end, he cannot be expected to have understood +them at the beginning. + + + + +II. + +Mrs. Portico, as we know, was always talking about going to Europe; +but she had not yet--I mean a year after the incident I have just +related--put her hand upon a youthful cicerone. Petticoats, of course, +were required; it was necessary that her companion should be of the sex +which sinks most naturally upon benches, in galleries and cathredrals, +and pauses most frequently upon staircases that ascend to celebrated +views. She was a widow, with a good fortune and several sons, all of +whom were in Wall Street, and none of them capable of the relaxed pace +at which she expected to take her foreign tour. They were all in a state +of tension. They went through life standing. She was a short, broad, +high-colored woman, with a loud voice, and superabundant black hair, +arranged in a way peculiar to herself,--with so many combs and bands +that it had the appearance of a national coiffure. There was an +impression in New York, about 1845, that the style was Danish; some one +had said something about having seen it in Schleswig-Holstein. + +Mrs. Portico had a bold, humorous, slightly flamboyant look; people who +saw her for the first time received an impression that her late husband +had married the daughter of a barkeeper or the proprietress of a +menageria. Her high, hoarse, good-natured voice seemed to connect her in +some way with public life; it was not pretty enough to suggest that she +might have been an actress. These ideas quickly passed away, however, +even if you were not sufficiently initiated to know--as all the +Grossies, for instance, knew so well--that her origin, so far from +being enveloped in mystery, was almost the sort of thing she might have +boasted of. But in spite of the high pitch of her appearance, she didn't +boast of anything; she was a genial, easy, comical, irreverent person, +with a large charity, a democratic, fraternizing turn of mind, and a +contempt for many worldly standards, which she expressed not in the +least in general axioms (for she had a mortal horror of philosophy), but +in violent ejaculations on particular occasions. She had not a grain of +moral timidity, and she fronted a delicate social problem as sturdily as +she would have barred the way of a gentleman she might have met in her +vestibule with the plate-chest The only thing which prevented her being +a bore in orthodox circles was that she was incapable of discussion. She +never lost her temper, but she lost her vocabulary, and ended quietly +by praying that Heaven would give her an opportunity to _show_ what she +believed. + +She was an old friend of Mr. and Mrs. Gressie, who esteemed her for the +antiquity of her lineage and the frequency of her subscriptions, and to +whom she rendered the service of making them feel liberal,--like +people too sure of their own position to be frightened. She was their +indulgence, their dissipation, their point of contact with dangerous +heresies; so long as they continued to see her they could not be accused +of being narrow-minded,--a matter as to which they were perhaps vaguely +conscious of the necessity of taking their precautions. Mrs. Portico +never asked herself whether she liked the Gressies; she had no +disposition for morbid analysis, she accepted transmitted associations, +and she found, somehow, that her acquaintance with these people helped +her to relieve herself. She was always making scenes in their +drawing-room, scenes half indignant, half jocose, like all her +manifestations, to which it must be confessed that they adapted +themselves beautifully. They never "met" her in the language of +controversy; but always collected to watch her, with smiles and +comfortable platitudes, as if they envied her superior richness of +temperament She took an interest in Georgina, who seemed to her +different from the others, with suggestions about her of being likely +not to marry so unrefreshingly as her sisters had done, and of a high, +bold standard of duty. Her sisters had married from duty, but Mrs. +Portico would rather have chopped off one of her large, plump hands than +behave herself so well as that She had, in her daughterless condition, a +certain ideal of a girl that should be beautiful and romantic, with +lustrous eyes, and a little persecuted, so that she, Mrs. Portico, might +get her out of her troubles. She looked to Georgina, to a considerable +degree, to gratify her in this way; but she had really never understood +Geoigina at all She ought to have been shrewd, but she lacked this +refinement, and she never understood anything until after many +disappointments and vexations. It was difficult to startle her, but she +was much startled by a communication that this young lady made her one +fine spring morning. With her florid appearance and her speculative +mind, she was probably the most innocent woman in New York. + +Georgina came very early,--earlier even than visits were paid in New +York thirty years ago; and instantly, without any preface, looking her +straight in the face, told Mrs. Portico that she was in great trouble +and must appeal to her for assistance. Georgina had in her aspect no +symptom of distress; she was as fresh and beautiful as the April +day itself; she held up her head and smiled, with a sort of familiar +bravado, looking like a young woman who would naturally be on good terms +with fortune. It was not in the least in the tone of a person making a +confession or relating a misadventure that she presently said: "Well, +you must know, to begin with--of course, it will surprise you--that I 'm +married." + +"Married, Georgina Grossie!" Mrs. Portico repeated in her most resonant +tones. + +Georgina got up, walked with her majestic step across the room, and +closed the door. Then she stood there, her back pressed against the +mahogany panels, indicating only by the distance she had placed between +herself and her hostess the consciousness of an irregular position. "I +am not Georgina Gressie! I am Georgina Benyon,--and it has become plain, +within a short time, that the natural consequence will take place." + +Mrs. Portico was altogether bewildered. "The natural consequence?" she +exclaimed, staring. + +"Of one's being married, of course,--I suppose you know what that is. No +one must know anything about it. I want you to take me to Europe." + +Mrs. Portico now slowly rose from her place, and approached her visitor, +looking at her from head to foot as she did so, as if to challenge the +truth of her remarkable announcement. She rested her hands on Georgina's +shoulders a moment, gazing into her blooming face, and then she drew her +closer and kissed her. In this way the girl was conducted back to the +sofa, where, in a conversation of extreme intimacy, she opened Mrs. +Portico's eyes wider than they had ever been opened before. She was +Raymond Benyon's wife; they had been married a year, but no one knew +anything about it. She had kept it from every one, and she meant to go +on keeping it. The ceremony had taken place in a little Episcopal church +at Harlem, one Sunday afternoon, after the service. There was no one in +that dusty suburb who knew them; the clergyman, vexed at being detained, +and wanting to go home to tea, had made no trouble; he tied the knot +before they could turn round. It was ridiculous how easy it had been. +Raymond had told him frankly that it must all be under the rose, as the +young lady's family disapproved of what she was doing. But she was of +legal age, and perfectly free; he could see that for himself. The parson +had given a grunt as he looked at her over his spectacles. It was not +very complimentary; it seemed to say that she was indeed no chicken. Of +course she looked old for a girl; but she was not a girl now, was she? +Raymond had certified his own identity as an officer in the United +States Navy (he had papers, besides his uniform, which he wore), and +introduced the clergyman to a friend he had brought with him, who was +also in the navy, a venerable paymaster. It was he who gave Georgina +away, as it were; he was an old, old man, a regular grandmother, and +perfectly safe. He had been married three times himself. After the +ceremony she went back to her father's; but she saw Mr. Benyon the next +day. After that, she saw him--for a little while--pretty often. He +was always begging her to come to him altogether; she must do him that +justice. But she wouldn't--she wouldn't now--perhaps she would n't +ever. She had her reasons, which seemed to her very good, but were very +difficult to explain. She would tell Mrs. Portico in plenty of time what +they were. But that was not the question now, whether they were good or +bad; the question was for her to get away from the country for several +months,--far away from any one who had ever known her. She would like +to go to some little place in Spain or Italy, where she should be out of +the world until everything was over. + +Mrs. Portico's heart gave a jump as this serene, handsome, familiar +girl, sitting there with a hand in hers, and pouring forth this +extraordinary tale, spoke of everything being over. There was a glossy +coldness in it, an unnatural lightness, which suggested--poor Mrs. +Portico scarcely knew what. If Georgina was to become a mother, it +was to be supposed she was to remain a mother. She said there was a +beautiful place in Italy--Genoa--of which Raymond had often spoken--and +where he had been more than once,--he admired it so much; could n't +they go there and be quiet for a little while? She was asking a great +favor,--that she knew very well; but if Mrs. Portico would n't take her, +she would find some one who would. They had talked of such a journey +so often; and, certainly, if Mrs. Portico had been willing before, she +ought to be much more willing now. The girl declared that she must do +something,--go somewhere,--keep, in one way or another, her situation +unperceived. There was no use talking to her about telling,--she would +rather die than tell. No doubt it seemed strange, but she knew what she +was about. No one had guessed anything yet,--she had succeeded perfectly +in doing what she wished,--and her father and mother believed--as Mrs. +Portico had believed,--had n't she?--that, any time the last year, +Raymond Beuyon was less to her than he had been before. Well, so he was; +yes, he was. He had gone away--he was off, Heaven knew where--in the +Pacific; she was alone, and now she would remain alone. The family +believed it was all over,--with his going back to his ship, and other +things, and they were right: for it _was_ over, or it would be soon. + +Mrs. Portico, by this time, had grown almost afraid of her young friend; +_she_ had so little fear, she had even, as it were, so little shame. If +the good lady had been accustomed to analyzing things a little more, +she would have said she had so little conscience. She looked at Georgina +with dilated eyes,--her visitor was so much the calmer of the two,--and +exclaimed, and murmured, and sunk back, and sprung forward, and wiped +her forehead with her pocket-handkerchief! There were things she didn't +understand; that they should all have been so deceived, that they should +have thought Georgina was giving her lover up (they flattered themselves +she was discouraged, or had grown tired of him), when she was really +only making it impossible she should belong to any one else. And with +this, her inconsequence, her capriciousness, her absence of motive, the +way she contradicted herself, her apparent belief that she could hush up +such a situation forever! There was nothing shameful in having married +poor Mr. Benyon, even in a little church at Harlem, and being given away +by a paymaster. It was much more shameful to be in such a state without +being prepared to make the proper explanations. And she must have +seen very little of her husband; she must have given him up--so far +as meeting him went--almost as soon as she had taken him. Had not Mrs. +Gressie herself told Mrs. Portico (in the preceding October, it must +have been) that there now would be no need of sending Georgina away, +inasmuch as the affair with the little navy man--a project in every way +so unsuitable--had quite blown over? + +"After our marriage I saw him less, I saw him a great deal less," +Georgina explained; but her explanation only appeared to make the +mystery more dense. + +"I don't see, in that case, what on earth you married him for!" + +"We had to be more careful; I wished to appear to have given him up. Of +course we were really more intimate,--I saw him differently," Georgina +said, smiling. + +"I should think so! I can't for the life of me see why you were n't +discovered." + +"All I can say is we weren't No doubt it's remarkable. We managed very +well,--that is, I managed,--he did n't want to manage at all. And then, +father and mother are incredibly stupid!" + +Mrs. Portico exhaled a comprehensive moan, feeling glad, on the whole, +that she had n't a daughter, while Georgina went on to furnish a few +more details. Raymond Benyon, in the summer, had been ordered from +Brooklyn to Charlestown, near Boston, where, as Mrs. Portico perhaps +knew, there was another navy-yard, in which there was a temporary press +of work, requiring more oversight He had remained there several months, +during which he had written to her urgently to come to him, and during +which, as well, he had received notice that he was to rejoin his ship a +little later. Before doing so he came back to Brooklyn for a few weeks +to wind up his work there, and then she had seen him--well, pretty +often. That was the best time of all the year that had elapsed since +their marriage. It was a wonder at home that nothing had then been +guessed; because she had really been reckless, and Benyon had even tried +to force on a disclosure. But they _were_ stupid, that was very certain. +He had besought her again and again to put an end to their false +position, but she did n't want it any more than she had wanted it +before. They had rather a bad parting; in fact, for a pair of lovers, it +was a very queer parting indeed. He did n't know, now, the thing she had +come to tell Mrs. Portico. She had not written to him. He was on a very +long cruise. It might be two years before he returned to the United +States. "I don't care how long he stays away," Georgina said, very +simply. + +"You haven't mentioned why you married him. Perhaps you don't remember," +Mrs. Portico broke out, with her masculine laugh. + +"Oh, yes; I loved him!" + +"And you have got over that?" + +Georgina hesitated a moment. "Why, no, Mrs. Portico, of course I +haven't; Raymond's a splendid fellow." + +"Then why don't you live with him? You don't explain that." + +"What would be the use when he's always away? How can one live with a +man that spends half his life in the South Seas? If he was n't in +the navy it would be different; but to go through everything,--I mean +everything that making our marriage known would bring upon me,--the +scolding and the exposure and the ridicule, the scenes at home,--to go +through it all, just for the idea, and yet be alone here, just as I +was before, without my husband after all,--with none of the good of +him,"--and here Georgina looked at her hostess as if with the +certitude that such an enumeration of inconveniences would touch her +effectually,--"really, Mrs. Portico, I am bound to say I don't think +that would be worth while; I haven't the courage for it." + +"I never thought you were a coward," said Mrs. Portico. + +"Well, I am not,--if you will give me time. I am very patient." + +"I never thought that, either." + +"Marrying changes one," said Georgina, still smiling. + +"It certainly seems to have had a very peculiar effect upon you. Why +don't you make him leave the navy, and arrange your life comfortably, +like every one else?" + +"I would n't for the world interfere with his prospects--with his +promotion. That is sure to come for him, and to come quickly, he has +such talents. He is devoted to his profession; it would ruin him to +leave it." + +"My dear young woman, you are a wonderful creature!" Mrs. Portico +exclaimed, looking at her companion as if she had been in a glass case. + +"So poor Raymond says," Georgina answered, smiling more than ever. + +"Certainly, I should have been very sorry to marry a navy man; but if I +had married him, I should stick to him, in the face of all the scoldings +in the universe!" + +"I don't know what your parents may have been; I know what mine are,", +Georgina replied, with some dignity. "When he's a captain, we shall come +out of hiding." + +"And what shall you do meanwhile? What will you do with your children? +Where will you hide them? What will you do with this one?" + +Georgina rested her eyes on her lap for a minute; then, raising them, +she met those of Mrs. Portico. "Somewhere in Europe," she said, in her +sweet tone. + +"Georgina Gressie, you 're a monster!" the elder lady cried. + +"I know what I am about, and you will help me," the girl went on. + +"I will go and tell your father and mother the whole story,--that's what +I will do!" + +"I am not in the least afraid of that, not in the least. You will help +me,--I assure you that you will." + +"Do you mean I will support the child?" + +Georgina broke into a laugh. "I do believe you would, if I were to ask +you! But I won't go so far as that; I have something of my own. All I +want you to do is to be with me." + +"At Genoa,--yes, you have got it all fixed! You say Mr. Benyon is so +fond of the place. That's all very well; but how will he like his infant +being deposited there?" + +"He won't like it at all. You see I tell you the whole truth," said +Georgina, gently. + +"Much obliged; it's a pity you keep it all for me! It is in his power, +then, to make you behave properly. _He_ can publish your marriage if you +won't; and if he does you will have to acknowledge your child." + +"Publish, Mrs. Portico? How little you know my Raymond! He will never +break a promise; he will go through fire first." + +"And what have you got him to promise?' + +"Never to insist on a disclosure against my will; never to claim me +openly as his wife till I think it is time; never to let any one know +what has passed between us if I choose to keep it still a secret--to +keep it for years--to keep it forever. Never to do anything in the +matter himself, but to leave it to me. For this he has given me his +solemn word of honor. And I know what that means!" + +Mrs. Portico, on the sofa, fairly bounded. + +"You _do_ know what you are about And Mr. Benyon strikes me as more +fantastic even than yourself. I never heard of a man taking such an +imbecile vow. What good can it do him?" + +"What good? The good it did him was that, it gratified me. At the +time he took it he would have made any promise under the sun. It was +a condition I exacted just at the very last, before the marriage took +place. There was nothing at that moment he would have refused me; +there was nothing I could n't have made him do. He was in love to that +degree--but I don't want to boast," said Georgina, with quiet grandeur. +"He wanted--he wanted--" she added; but then she paused. + +"He does n't seem to have wanted much!" Mrs. Portico cried, in a tone +which made Georgina turn to the window, as if it might have reached the +street. + +Her hostess noticed the movement and went on: "Oh, my dear, if I ever do +tell your story, I will tell it so that people will hear it!" + +"You never will tell it. What I mean is, that Raymond wanted the +sanction--of the affair at the church--because he saw that I would never +do without it. Therefore, for him, the sooner we had it the better, and, +to hurry it on, he was ready to take any pledge." + +"You have got it pat enough," said Mrs. Portico, in homely phrase. "I +don't know what you mean by sanctions, or what _you_ wanted of 'em!" + +Georgina got up, holding rather higher than before that beautiful head +which, in spite of the embarrassments of this interview, had not yet +perceptibly abated of its elevation. "Would you have liked me to--to not +marry?" + +Mrs. Portico rose also, and, flushed with the agitation of unwonted +knowledge,--it was as if she had discovered a skeleton in her favorite +cupboard,--faced her young friend for a moment. Then her conflicting +sentiments resolved themselves into an abrupt question, uttered,--for +Mrs. Portico,--with much solemnity: "Georgina Gressie, were you really +in love with him?" + +The question suddenly dissipated the girl's strange, studied, wilful +coldness; she broke out, with a quick flash of passion,--a passion that, +for the moment, was predominantly anger, "Why else, in Heaven's name, +should I have done what I have done? Why else should I have married him? +What under the sun had I to gain?" + +A certain quiver in Georgina's voice, a light in her eye which seemed to +Mrs. Portico more spontaneous, more human, as she uttered these words, +caused them to affect her hostess rather less painfully than anything +she had yet said. She took the girl's hand and emitted indefinite, +admonitory sounds. "Help me, my dear old friend, help me," Georgina +continued, in a low, pleading tone; and in a moment Mrs. Portico saw +that the tears were in her eyes. + +"You 're a queer mixture, my child," she exclaimed. "Go straight home to +your own mother, and tell her everything; that is your best help." + +"You are kinder than my mother. You must n't judge her by yourself." + +"What can she do to you? How can she hurt you? We are not living in +pagan times," said Mrs. Portico, who was seldom so historical "Besides, +you have no reason to speak of your mother--to think of her, even--so! +She would have liked you to marry a man of some property; but she has +always been a good mother to you." + +At this rebuke Georgina suddenly kindled again; she was, indeed, as Mrs. +Portico had said, a queer mixture. Conscious, evidently, that she could +not satisfactorily justify her present stiffness, she wheeled round upon +a grievance which absolved her from self-defence. "Why, then, did he +make that promise, if he loved me? No man who really loved me would have +made it,--and no man that was a man, as I understand being a man! He +might have seen that I only did it to test him,--to see if he wanted to +take advantage of being left free himself. It is a proof that he does +n't love me,--not as he ought to have done; and in such a case as that a +woman is n't bound to make sacrifices!" + +Mrs. Portico was not a person of a nimble intellect; her mind moved +vigorously, but heavily; yet she sometimes made happy guesses. She saw +that Georgia's emotions were partly real and partly fictitious; that, +as regards this last matter, especially, she was trying to "get up" a +resentment, in order to excuse herself. The pretext was absurd, and the +good lady was struck with its being heartless on the part of her young +visitor to reproach poor Benyon with a concession on which she had +insisted, and which could only be a proof of his devotion, inasmuch as +he left her free while he bound himself. Altogether, Mrs. Portico was +shocked and dismayed at such a want of simplicity in the behavior of a +young person whom she had hitherto believed to be as candid as she was +elegant, and her appreciation of this discovery expressed itself in the +uncompromising remark: "You strike me as a very bad girl, my dear; you +strike me as a very bad girl!" + + + + +PART II. + + + + +III. + +It will doubtless seem to the reader very singular that, in spite of +this reflection, which appeared to sum up her judgment of the matter, +Mrs. Portico should, in the course of a very few days, have consented to +everything that Georgina asked of her. I have thought it well to narrate +at length the first conversation that took place between them, but I +shall not trace further the details of the girl's hard pleading, or +the steps by which--in the face of a hundred robust and salutary +convictions--the loud, kind, sharp, simple, sceptical, credulous woman +took under her protection a damsel whose obstinacy she could not speak +of without getting red with anger. It was the simple fact of Georgina's +personal condition that moved her; this young lady's greatest eloquence +was the seriousness of her predicament She might be bad, and she had a +splendid, careless, insolent, fair-faced way of admitting it, which at +moments, incoherently, inconsistently, and irresistibly, resolved the +harsh confession into tears of weakness; but Mrs. Portico had known her +from her rosiest years, and when Georgina declared that she could n't go +home, that she wished to be with her and not with her mother, that she +could n't expose herself,--how could she?--and that she must remain with +her and her only till the day they should sail, the poor lady was forced +to make that day a reality. She was overmastered, she was cajoled, +she was, to a certain extent, fascinated. She had to accept Georgina's +rigidity (she had none of her own to oppose to it; she was only violent, +she was not continuous), and once she did this, it was plain, after all, +that to take her young friend to Europe was to help her, and to leave +her alone was not to help her. Georgina literally frightened Mrs. +Portico into compliance. She was evidently capable of strange things if +thrown upon her own devices. + +So, from one day to another Mrs. Portico announced that she was really +at last about to sail for foreign lands (her doctor having told her that +if she did n't look out she would get too old to enjoy them), and that +she had invited that robust Miss Gressie, who could stand so long on her +feet, to accompany her. There was joy in the house of Gressie at this +announcement, for though the danger was over, it was a great general +advantage to Georgina to go, and the Gressies were always elated at the +prospect of an advantage. There was a danger that she might meet Mr. +Benyon on the other side of the world; but it didn't seem likely that +Mrs. Portico would lend herself to a plot of that kind. If she had taken +it into her head to favor their love affair, she would have done +it frankly, and Georgina would have been married by this time. Her +arrangements were made as quickly as her decision had been--or rather +had appeared--slow; for this concerned those agile young men down town. +Georgina was perpetually at her house; it was understood in Twelfth +Street that she was talking over her future travels with her kind +friend. Talk there was, of course to a considerable degree; but after it +was settled they should start nothing more was said about the motive +of the journey. Nothing was said, that is, till the night before they +sailed; then a few words passed between them. Georgina had already +taken leave of her relations in Twelfth Street, and was to sleep at +Mrs. Portico's in order to go down to the ship at an early hour. The +two ladies were sitting together in the firelight, silent, with the +consciousness of corded luggage, when the elder one suddenly remarked to +her companion that she seemed to be taking a great deal upon herself in +assuming that Raymond Benyon wouldn't force her hand. _He_ might +choose to acknowledge his child, if she didn't; there were promises +and promises, and many people would consider they had been let off when +circumstances were so altered. She would have to reckon with Mr. Benyon +more than she thought. + +"I know what I am about," Georgina answered. "There is only one promise, +for him. I don't know what you mean by circumstances being altered." + +"Everything seems to me to be changed," poor Mrs. Portico murmured, +rather tragically. + +"Well, he is n't, and he never will! I am sure of him,--as sure as that +I sit here. Do you think I would have looked at him if I had n't known +he was a man of his word?" + +"You have chosen him well, my dear," said Mrs. Portico, who by this time +was reduced to a kind of bewildered acquiescence. + +"Of course I have chosen him well! In such a matter as this he will be +perfectly splendid." Then suddenly, "Perfectly splendid,--that's why I +cared for him!" she repeated, with a flash of incongruous passion. + +This seemed to Mrs. Portico audacious to the point of being sublime; but +she had given up trying to understand anything that the girl might +say or do. She understood less and less, after they had disembarked in +England and begun to travel southward; and she understood least of all +when, in the middle of the winter, the event came off with which, in +imagination, she had tried to familiarize herself, but which, when it +occurred, seemed to her beyond measure strange and dreadful. It took +place at Genoa, for Georgina had made up her mind that there would be +more privacy in a big town than in a little; and she wrote to America +that both Mrs. Portico and she had fallen in love with the place and +would spend two or three months there. At that time people in the United +States knew much less than to-day about the comparative attractions +of foreign cities, and it was not thought surprising that absent +New Yorkers should wish to linger in a seaport where they might find +apartments, according to Georgina's report, in a palace painted in +fresco by Vandyke and Titian. Georgina, in her letters, omitted, it will +be seen, no detail that could give color to Mrs. Portico's long stay at +Genoa. In such a palace--where the travellers hired twenty gilded rooms +for the most insignificant sum--a remarkably fine boy came into the +world. Nothing could have been more successful and comfortable than +this transaction. Mrs. Portico was almost appalled at the facility and +felicity of it. She was by this time in a pretty bad way, and--what +had never happened to her before in her life--she suffered from chronic +depression of spirits. She hated to have to lie, and now she was lying +all the time. Everything she wrote home, everything that had been said +or done in connection with their stay in Genoa, was a lie. The way +they remained indoors to avoid meeting chance compatriots was a lie. +Compatriots, in Genoa, at that period, were very rare; but nothing could +exceed the businesslike completeness of Georgina's precautions. Her +nerves, her self-possession, her apparent want of feeling, excited on +Mrs. Portico's part a kind of gloomy suspense; a morbid anxiety to see +how far her companion would go took possession of the excellent woman, +who, a few months before, hated to fix her mind on disagreeable things. + +Georgina went very far indeed; she did everything in her power to +dissimulate the origin of her child. The record of its birth was made +under a false name, and he was baptized at the nearest church by a +Catholic priest. A magnificent contadina was brought to light by +the doctor in a village in the hills, and this big, brown, barbarous +creature, who, to do her justice, was full of handsome, familiar smiles +and coarse tenderness, was constituted nurse to Raymond Benyon's son. +She nursed him for a fortnight under the mother's eye, and she was then +sent back to her village with the baby in her arms and sundry gold coin +knotted into a corner of her rude pocket-handkerchief. Mr. Gressie had +given his daughter a liberal letter of credit on a London banker, and +she was able, for the present, to make abundant provision for the little +one. She called Mrs. Portico's attention to the fact that she spent none +of her money on futilities; she kept it all for her small pensioner +in the Genoese hills. Mrs. Portico beheld these strange doings with a +stupefaction that occasionally broke into passionate protest; then she +relapsed into a brooding sense of having now been an accomplice so far +that she must be an accomplice to the end. The two ladies went down to +Rome--Georgina was in wonderful trim--to finish the season, and +here Mrs. Portico became convinced that she intended to abandon her +offspring. She had not driven into the country to see the nursling +before leaving Genoa,--she had said that she could n't bear to see it in +such a place and among such people. Mrs. Portico, it must be added, +had felt the force of this plea,--felt it as regards a plan of her own, +given up after being hotly entertained for a few hours, of devoting a +day, by herself, to a visit to the big contadina. It seemed to her that +if she should see the child in the sordid hands to which Georgina had +consigned it she would become still more of a participant than she was +already. This young woman's blooming hardness, after they got to Borne, +acted upon her like a kind of Medusa-mask. She had seen a horrible +thing, she had been mixed up with it, and her motherly heart had +received a mortal chill. It became more clear to her every day that, +though Georgina would continue to send the infant money in considerable +quantities, she had dispossessed herself of it forever. Together with +this induction a fixed idea settled in her mind,--the project of taking +the baby herself, of making him her own, of arranging that matter with +the father. The countenance she had given Georgina up to this point was +an effective pledge that she would not expose her; but she could adopt +the child without exposing her; she could say that he was a lovely +baby--he was lovely, fortunately--whom she had picked up in a poor +village in Italy,--a village that had been devastated by brigands. She +would pretend--she could pretend; oh, yes, of course, she could pretend! +Everything was imposture now, and she could go on to lie as she had +begun. The falsity of the whole business sickened her; it made her so +yellow that she scarcely knew herself in her glass. None the less, to +rescue the child, even if she had to become falser still, would be in +some measure an atonement for the treachery to which she had already +lent herself. She began to hate Georgina, who had drawn her into such an +atrocious current, and if it had not been for two considerations she +would have insisted on their separating. One was the deference she owed +to Mr. and Mrs. Gressie, who had reposed such a trust in her; the other +was that she must keep hold of the mother till she had got possession of +the infant Meanwhile, in this forced communion, her aversion to her +companion increased; Georgina came to appear to her a creature of brass, +of iron; she was exceedingly afraid of her, and it seemed to her now a +wonder of wonders that she should ever have trusted her enough to come +so far. Georgina showed no consciousness of the change in Mrs. Portico, +though there was, indeed, at present, not even a pretence of confidence +between the two. Miss Gressie--that was another lie, to which Mrs. +Portico had to lend herself--was bent on enjoying Europe, and was +especially delighted with Rome. She certainly had the courage of her +undertaking, and she confessed to Mrs. Portico that she had left Raymond +Benyon, and meant to continue to leave him, in ignorance of what had +taken place at Genoa. There was a certain confidence, it must be said, +in that. He was now in Chinese waters, and she probably should not see +him for years. + +Mrs. Portico took counsel with herself, and the result of her cogitation +was, that she wrote to Mr. Benyon that a charming little boy had +been born to him, and that Georgina had put him to nurse with Italian +peasants, but that, if he would kindly consent to it, she, Mrs. Portico, +would bring him up much better than that. She knew not how to address +her letter, and Georgina, even if _she_ should know, which was doubtful, +would never tell her; so she sent the missive to the care of the +Secretary of the Navy, at Washington, with an earnest request that it +might immediately be forwarded. Such was Mrs. Portico's last effort in +this strange business of Georgina's. I relate rather a complicated +fact in a very few words when I say that the poor lady's anxieties, +indignations, repentances, preyed upon her until they fairly broke her +down. Various persons whom she knew in Borne notified her that the air +of the Seven Hills was plainly unfavorable to her, and she had made +up her mind to return to her native land, when she found that, in her +depressed condition, malarial fever had laid its hand upon her. She was +unable to move, and the matter was settled for her in the course of an +illness which, happily, was not prolonged. I have said that she was not +obstinate, and the resistance that she made on the present occasion +was not worthy even of her spasmodic energy. Brain-fever made its +appearance, and she died at the end of three weeks, during which +Georgina's attentions to her patient and protectress had been +unremitting. There were other Americans in Rome who, after this +sad event, extended to the bereaved young lady every comfort and +hospitality. She had no lack of opportunities for returning under a +proper escort to New York. She selected, you may be sure, the best, and +re-entered her father's house, where she took to plain dressing; for she +sent all her pocket-money, with the utmost secrecy, to the little boy in +the Genoese hills. + + + + +IV. + +"Why should he come if he doesn't like you? He is under no obligation, +and he has his ship to look after. Why should he sit for an hour at a +time, and why should he be so pleasant?" + +"Do you think he is very pleasant?" Kate Theory asked, turning away her +face from her sister. It was important that Mildred should not see how +little the expression of that charming countenance corresponded with the +inquiry. + +This precaution was useless, however, for in a moment Mildred said, from +the delicately draped couch, where she lay at the open window, "Kate +Theory, don't be affected!" + +"Perhaps it's for you he comes. I don't see why he should n't; you are +far more attractive than I, and you have a great deal more to say. How +can he help seeing that you are the cleverest of the clever? You can +talk to him of everything: of the dates of the different eruptions, of +the statues and bronzes in the Museum, which you have never seen, poor +darling! but which you know more about than he does, than any one does. +What was it you began on last time? Oh, yes, you poured forth floods +about Magna Graecia. And then--and then--" But with this Kate Theory +paused; she felt it would n't do to speak the words that had risen to +her lips. That her sister was as beautiful as a saint, and as delicate +and refined as an angel,--she had been on the point of saying something +of that sort But Mildred's beauty and delicacy were the fairness of +mortal disease, and to praise her for her refinement was simply to +intimate that she had the tenuity of a consumptive. So, after she had +checked herself, the younger girl--she was younger only by a year +or two--simply kissed her tenderly, and settled the knot of the lace +handkerchief that was tied over her head. Mildred knew what she had +been going to say,--knew why she had stopped. Mildred knew everything, +without ever leaving her room, or leaving, at least, that little salon +of their own, at the _pension_, which she had made so pretty by simply +lying there, at the window that had the view of the bay and of Vesuvius, +and telling Kate how to arrange and rearrange everything. Since it +began to be plain that Mildred must spend her small remnant of years +altogether in warm climates, the lot of the two sisters had been cast in +the ungarnished hostelries of southern Europe. Their little sitting-room +was sure to be very ugly, and Mildred was never happy till it was +rearranged. Her sister fell to work, as a matter of course, the first +day, and changed the place of all the tables, sofas, chairs, till every +combination had been tried, and the invalid thought at last that there +was a little effect Kate Theory had a taste of her own, and her ideas +were not always the same as her sister's; but she did whatever Mildred +liked, and if the poor girl had told her to put the doormat on the +dining-table, or the clock under the sofa, she would have obeyed without +a murmur. Her own ideas, her personal tastes, had been folded up and put +away, like garments out of season, in drawers and trunks, with camphor +and lavender. They were not, as a general thing, for southern wear, +however indispensable to comfort in the climate of New England, where +poor Mildred had lost her health. Kate Theory, ever since this event, +had lived for her companion, and it was almost an inconvenience for her +to think that she was attractive to Captain Benyon. It was as if she +had shut up her house and was not in a position to entertain. So long as +Mildred should live, her own life was suspended; if there should be +any time afterwards, perhaps she would take it up again; but for the +present, in answer to any knock at her door, she could only call down +from one of her dusty windows that she was not at home. Was it really in +these terms she should have to dismiss Captain Benyon? If Mildred said +it was for her he came she must perhaps take upon herself such a duty; +for, as we have seen, Mildred knew everything, and she must therefore be +right She knew about the statues in the Museum, about the excavations at +Pompeii, about the antique splendor of Magna Graecia. She always had some +instructive volume on the table beside her sofa, and she had strength +enough to hold the book for half an hour at a time. That was about the +only strength she had now. The Neapolitan winters had been remarkably +soft, but after the first month or two she had been obliged to give up +her little walks in the garden. It lay beneath her window like a single +enormous bouquet; as early as May, that year, the flowers were so dense. +None of them, however, had a color so intense as the splendid blue of +the bay, which filled up all the rest of the view. It would have looked +painted, if you had not been able to see the little movement of the +waves. Mildred Theory watched them by the hour, and the breathing crest +of the volcano, on the other side of Naples, and the great sea-vision +of Capri, on the horizon, changing its tint while her eyes rested there, +and wondered what would become of her sister after she was gone. Now +that Percival was married,--he was their only brother, and from one day +to the other was to come down to Naples to show them his new wife, as +yet a complete stranger, or revealed only in the few letters she had +written them during her wedding tour,--now that Percival was to be quite +taken up, poor Kate's situation would be much more grave. Mildred felt +that she should be able to judge better, after she should have seen her +sister-in-law, how much of a home Kate might expect to find with the +pair; but even if Agnes should prove--well, more satisfactory than her +letters, it was a wretched prospect for Kate,--this living as a mere +appendage to happier people. Maiden aunts were very well, but being a +maiden aunt was only a last resource, and Kate's first resources had not +even been tried. + +Meanwhile the latter young lady wondered as well,--wondered in what book +Mildred had read that Captain Benyon was in love with her. She admired +him, she thought, but he didn't seem a man that would fall in love with +one like that She could see that he was on his guard; he would n't throw +himself away. He thought too much of himself, or at any rate he took +too good care of himself,--in the manner of a man to whom something had +happened which had given him a lesson. Of course what had happened was +that his heart was buried somewhere,--in some woman's grave; he had +loved some beautiful girl,--much more beautiful, Kate was sure, than +she, who thought herself small and dark,--and the maiden had died, and +his capacity to love had died with her. He loved her memory,--that was +the only thing he would care for now. He was quiet, gentle, clever, +humorous, and very kind in his manner; but if any one save Mildred had +said to her that if he came three times a week to Posilippo, it was for +anything but to pass his time (he had told them he didn't know another +soul in Naples), she would have felt that this was simply the kind of +thing--usually so idiotic--that people always thought it necessary to +say. It was very easy for him to come; he had the big ship's boat, with +nothing else to do; and what could be more delightful than to be rowed +across the bay, under a bright awning, by four brown sailors with +"Louisiana" in blue letters on their immaculate white shirts, and in gilt +letters on their fluttering hat ribbons? The boat came to the steps of +the garden of the _pension_, where the orange-trees hung over and made +vague yellow balls shine back out of the water. Kate Theory knew all +about that, for Captain Benyon had persuaded her to take a turn in the +boat, and if they had only had another lady to go with them, he could +have conveyed her to the ship, and shown her all over it It looked +beautiful, just a little way off, with the American flag hanging loose +in the Italian air. They would have another lady when Agnes should +arrive; then Percival would remain with Mildred while they took this +excursion. Mildred had stayed alone the day she went in the boat; +she had insisted on it, and, of course it was really Mildred who had +persuaded her; though now that Kate came to think of it, Captain Benyon +had, in his quiet, waiting way--he turned out to be waiting long after +you thought he had let a thing pass--said a good deal about the pleasure +it would give him. Of course, everything would give pleasure to a man +who was so bored. He was keeping the "Louisiana" at Naples, week after +week, simply because these were the commodore's orders. There was no +work to be done there, and his time was on his hands; but of course the +commodore, who had gone to Constantinople with the two other ships, had +to be obeyed to the letter, however mysterious his motives. It made no +difference that he was a fantastic, grumbling, arbitrary old commodore; +only a good while afterwards it occurred to Kate Theory that, for a +reserved, correct man, Captain Benyon had given her a considerable +proof of confidence, in speaking to her in these terms of his superior +officer. If he looked at all hot when he arrived at the _pension_, +she offered him a glass of cold "orangeade." Mildred thought this an +unpleasant drink,--she called it messy; but Kate adored it, and Captain +Benyon always accepted it. + +The day I speak of, to change the subject, she called her sister's +attention to the extraordinary sharpness of a zigzagging cloud-shadow, +on the tinted slope of Vesuvius; but Mildred only remarked in answer +that she wished her sister would many the captain. It was in this +familiar way that constant meditation led Miss Theory to speak of him; +it shows how constantly she thought of him, for, in general, no one was +more ceremonious than she, and the failure of her health had not caused +her to relax any form that it was possible to keep up. There was a kind +of slim erectness, even in the way she lay on her sofa; and she always +received the doctor as if he were calling for the first time. + +"I had better wait till he asks me," Kate Theory said. "Dear Milly, if +I were to do some of the things you wish me to do, I should shock you +very much." + +"I wish he would marry you, then. You know there is very little time, if +I wish to see it." + +"You will never see it, Mildred. I don't see why you should take so for +granted that I would accept him." + +"You will never meet a man who has so few disagreeable qualities. He is +probably not enormously rich. I don't know what is the pay of a captain +in the navy--" + +"It's a relief to find there is something you don't know," Kate Theory +broke in. + +"But when I am gone," her sister went on calmly, "when I am gone there +will be plenty for both of you." + +The younger sister, at this, was silent for a moment; then she +exclaimed, "Mildred, you may be out of health, but I don't see why you +should be dreadful!" + +"You know that since we have been leading this life we have seen no +one we liked better," said Milly. When she spoke of the life they were +leading--there was always a soft resignation of regret and contempt in +the allusion--she meant the southern winters, the foreign climates, +the vain experiments, the lonely waitings, the wasted hours, the +interminable rains, the bad food, the pottering, humbugging doctors, +the damp _pensions_, the chance encounters, the fitful apparitions, of +fellow-travellers. + +"Why should n't you speak for yourself alone? I am glad _you_ like him, +Mildred." + +"If you don't like him, why do you give him orangeade?" + +At this inquiry Kate began to laugh, and her sister continued,-- + +"Of course you are glad I like him, my dear. If I did n't like him, and +you did, it would n't be satisfactory at all. I can imagine nothing more +miserable; I should n't die in any sort of comfort." + +Kate Theory usually checked this sort of allusion--she was always too +late--with a kiss; but on this occasion she added that it was a long +time since Mildred had tormented her so much as she had done to-day. +"You will make me hate him," she added. + +"Well, that proves you don't already," Milly rejoined; and it happened +that almost at this moment they saw, in the golden afternoon, Captain +Benyon's boat approaching the steps at the end of the garden. He came +that day, and he came two days later, and he came yet once again after +an interval equally brief, before Percival Theory arrived, with Mrs. +Percival, from Borne. He seemed anxious to crowd into these few days, as +he would have said, a good deal of intercourse with the two remarkably +nice girls--or nice women, he hardly knew which to call them--whom in +the course of a long, idle, rather tedious detention at Naples, he had +discovered in the lovely suburb of Posilippo. It was the American consul +who had put him into relation with them; the sisters had had to sign, in +the consul's presence, some law-papers, transmitted to them by the man +of business who looked after their little property in America, and the +kindly functionary, taking advantage of the pretext (Captain Benyon +happened to come into the consulate as he was starting, indulgently, to +wait upon the ladies) to bring together "two parties" who, as he said, +ought to appreciate each other, proposed to his fellow-officer in the +service of the United States that he should go with him as witness +of the little ceremony. He might, of course, take his clerk, but the +captain would do much better; and he represented to Benyon that the Miss +Theorys (singular name, wa' n't it?) suffered--he was sure--from a lack +of society; also that one of them was very sick, that they were +real pleasant and extraordinarily refined, and that the sight of a +compatriot, literally draped, as it were, in the national banner, +would cheer them up more than most anything, and give them a sense of +protection. They had talked to the consul about Benyon's ship, which +they could see from their windows, in the distance, at its anchorage. +They were the only American ladies then at Naples,--the only residents, +at least,--and the captain would n't be doing the polite thing unless he +went to pay them his respects. Benyon felt afresh how little it was in +his line to call upon strange women; he was not in the habit of hunting +up female acquaintance, or of looking out for the soft emotions which +the sex only can inspire. He had his reasons for this abstention, and +he seldom relaxed it; but the consul appealed to him on rather strong +grounds; and he suffered himself to be persuaded. He was far from +regretting, during the first weeks at least, an act which was distinctly +inconsistent with his great rule,--that of never exposing himself to the +chance of seriously caring for an unmarried woman. He had been obliged +to make this rule, and had adhered to it with some success. He was +fond of women, but he was forced to restrict himself to superficial +sentiments. There was no use tumbling into situations from which the +only possible issue was a retreat The step he had taken with regard to +poor Miss Theory and her delightful little sister was an exception on +which at first he could only congratulate himself. That had been a happy +idea of the ruminating old consul; it made Captain Benyon forgive +him his hat, his boots, his shirtfront,--a costume which might be +considered representative, and the effect of which was to make the +observer turn with rapture to a half-naked lazzarone. On either side the +acquaintance had helped the time to pass, and the hours he spent at +the little _pension_ at Posilippo left a sweet--and by no means +innutritive--taste behind. + +As the weeks went by his exception had grown to look a good deal like +a rule; but he was able to remind himself that the path of retreat was +always open to him. Moreover, if he should fall in love with the younger +girl there would be no great harm, for Kate Theory was in love only with +her sister, and it would matter very little to her whether he advanced +or retreated. She was very attractive, or rather very attracting. +Small, pale, attentive without rigidity, full of pretty curves and quick +movements, she looked as if the habit of watching and serving had +taken complete possession of her, and was literally a little sister of +charity. Her thick black hair was pushed behind her ears, as if to help +her to listen, and her clear brown eyes had the smile of a person +too full of tact to cany a dull face to a sickbed. She spoke in an +encouraging voice, and had soothing and unselfish habits. She was very +pretty,--producing a cheerful effect of contrasted black and white, and +dressed herself daintily, so that Mildred might have something agreeable +to look at Benyon very soon perceived that there was a fund of good +service in her. Her sister had it all now; but poor Miss Theory was +fading fast, and then what would become of this precious little force? +The answer to such a question that seemed most to the point was +that it was none of his business. He was not sick,--at least not +physically,--and he was not looking out for a nurse. Such a companion +might be a luxury, but was not, as yet, a necessity: The welcome of the +two ladies, at first, had been simple, and he scarcely knew what to call +it but sweet; a bright, gentle friendliness remained the tone of their +greeting. They evidently liked him to come,--they liked to see his big +transatlantic ship hover about those gleaming coasts of exile. The fact +of Miss Mildred being always stretched on her couch--in his successive +visits to foreign waters Benyon had not unlearned (as why should he?) +the pleasant American habit of using the lady's personal name--made +their intimacy seem greater, their differences less; it was as if his +hostesses had taken him into their confidence and he had been--as the +consul would have said--of the same party. Knocking about the salt parts +of the globe, with a few feet square on a rolling frigate for his only +home, the pretty, flower-decked sitting-room of the quiet American +sisters became, more than anything he had hitherto known, his interior. +He had dreamed once of having an interior, but the dream had vanished in +lurid smoke, and no such vision had come to him again. He had a feeling +that the end of this was drawing nigh; he was sure that the advent of +the strange brother, whose wife was certain to be disagreeable, would +make a difference. That is why, as I have said, he came as often as +possible the last week, after he had learned the day on which Percival +Theory would arrive. The limits of the exception had been reached. + +He had been new to the young ladies at Posilippo, and there was no +reason why they should say to each other that he was a very different +man from the ingenuous youth who, ten years before, used to wander +with Georgina Gressie down vistas of plank fences brushed over with the +advertisements of quack medicines. It was natural he should be, and we, +who know him, would have found that he had traversed the whole scale of +alteration. There was nothing ingenuous in him now; he had the look of +experience, of having been seasoned and hardened by the years. + +His face, his complexion, were the same; still smooth-shaven and slim, +he always passed, at first, for a man scarcely out of his twenties. But +his expression was old, and his talk was older still,--the talk of one +who had seen much of the world (as indeed he had, to-day), and judged +most things for himself, with a humorous scepticism which, whatever +concessions it might make, superficially, for the sake of not offending +(for instance) two remarkably nice American women, of the kind that had +kept most of their illusions, left you with the conviction that the +next minute it would go quickly back to its own standpoint There was a +curious contradiction in him; he struck you as serious, and yet he could +not be said to take things seriously. This was what made Kate Theory +feel so sure that he had lost the object of his affections; and she +said to herself that it must have been under circumstances of peculiar +sadness, for that was, after all, a frequent accident, and was not +usually thought, in itself, a sufficient stroke to make a man a cynic. +This reflection, it may be added, was, on the young lady's part, just +the least bit acrimonious. Captain Benyon was not a cynic in any sense +in which he might have shocked an innocent mind; he kept his cynicism +to himself, and was a very clever, courteous, attentive gentleman. If he +was melancholy, you knew it chiefly by his jokes, for they were usually +at his own expense; and if he was indifferent, it was all the more +to his credit that he should have exerted himself to entertain his +countrywomen. + +The last time he called before the arrival of the expected brother, he +found Miss Theory alone, and sitting up, for a wonder, at her window. +Kate had driven into Naples to give orders at the hotel for the +reception of the travellers, who required accommodation more spacious +than the villa at Posilippo (where the two sisters had the best rooms) +could offer them; and the sick girl had taken advantage of her absence +and of the pretext afforded by a day of delicious warmth, to transfer +herself, for the first time in six months, to an arm-chair. She was +practising, as she said, for the long carriage-journey to the north, +where, in a quiet corner they knew of, on the Lago Maggiore, her summer +was to be spent. Eaymond Benyon remarked to her that she had evidently +turned the corner and was going to get well, and this gave her a chance +to say various things that were on her mind. She had many things on her +mind, poor Mildred Theory, so caged and restless, and yet so resigned +and patient as she was; with a clear, quick spirit, in the most perfect +health, ever reaching forward, to the end of its tense little chain, +from her wasted and suffering body; and, in the course of the perfect +summer afternoon, as she sat there, exhilarated by the success of her +effort to get up, and by her comfortable opportunity, she took her +friendly visitor into the confidence of most of her anxieties. She told +him, very promptly and positively, that she was not going to get well +at all, that she had probably not more than ten months yet to live, and +that he would oblige her very much by not forcing her to waste any more +breath in contradicting him on that point. Of course she could n't talk +much; therefore, she wished to say to him only things that he would +not hear from any one else. Such, for instance, was her present +secret--Katie's and hers--the secret of their fearing so much that they +should n't like Percival's wife, who was not from Boston, but from New +York. Naturally, that by itself would be nothing, but from what they +had heard of her set--this subject had been explored by their +correspondents--they were rather nervous, nervous to the point of not +being in the least reassured by the fact that the young lady would bring +Percival a fortune. The fortune was a matter of course, for that was +just what they had heard about Agnes's circle--that the stamp of money +was on all their thoughts and doings. They were very rich and very new +and very splashing, and evidently had very little in common with the two +Miss Theorys, who, moreover, if the truth must be told (and this was a +great secret), did not care much for the letters their sister-in-law had +hitherto addressed them. She had been at a French boarding-school in +New York, and yet (and this was the greatest secret of all) she wrote +to them that she had performed a part of the journey through France in +_diligance!_ + +Of course, they would see the next day; Miss Mildred was sure she should +know in a moment whether Agnes would like them. She could never have +told him all this if her sister had been there, and Captain Benyon must +promise never to reveal to Kate how she had chattered. Kate thought +always that they must hide everything, and that even if Agnes should be +a dreadful disappointment they must never let any one guess it And yet +Kate was just the one who would suffer, in the coming years, after she +herself had gone. Their brother had been everything to them, but now +it would all be different Of course it was not to be expected that he +should have remained a bachelor for their sake; she only wished he had +waited till she was dead and Kate was married One of these events, +it was true, was much less sure than the other; Kate might never +marry,--much as she wished she would! She was quite morbidly unselfish, +and did n't think she had a right to have anything of her own--not even +a husband. Miss Mildred talked a good while about Kate, and it never +occurred to her that she might bore Captain Benyon. She did n't, in +point of fact; he had none of the trouble of wondering why this poor, +sick, worried lady was trying to push her sister down his throat Their +peculiar situation made everything natural, and the tone she took with +him now seemed only what their pleasant relation for the last three +months led up to. Moreover, he had an excellent reason for not being +bored: the fact, namely, that after all, with regard to her sister, +Miss Mildred appeared to him to keep back more than she uttered. She +didn't tell him the great thing,--she had nothing to say as to what that +charming girl thought of Eaymond Benyon. The effect of their interview, +indeed, was to make him shrink from knowing, and he felt that the right +thing for him would be to get back into his boat, which was waiting at +the garden steps, before Kate Theory should return from Naples. It came +over him, as he sat there, that he was far too interested in knowing +what this young lady thought of him. She might think what she pleased; +it could make no difference to him. The best opinion in the world--if it +looked out at him from her tender eyes--would not make him a whit more +free or more happy. Women of that sort were not for him, women whom one +could not see familiarly without falling in love with them, and whom it +was no use to fall in love with unless one was ready to marry them. The +light of the summer afternoon, and of Miss Mildred's pure spirit, seemed +suddenly to flood the whole subject. He saw that he was in danger, and +he had long since made up his mind that from this particular peril +it was not only necessary but honorable to flee. He took leave of his +hostess before her sister reappeared, and had the courage even to say to +her that he would not come back often after that; they would be so much +occupied by their brother and his wife! As he moved across the glassy +bay, to the rhythm of the oars, he wished either that the sisters would +leave Naples or that his confounded commodore would send for him. + +When Kate returned from her errand, ten minutes later, Milly told her +of the captain's visit, and added that she had never seen anything so +sudden as the way he left her. "He would n't wait for you, my dear, +and he said he thought it more than likely that he should never see us +again. It is as if he thought you were going to die too!" + +"Is his ship called away?" Kate Theory asked. + +"He did n't tell me so; he said we should be so busy with Percival and +Agnes." + +"He has got tired of us,--that's all. There's nothing wonderful in that; +I knew he would." + +Mildred said nothing for a moment; she was watching her sister, who was +very attentively arranging some flowers. "Yes, of course, we are very +dull, and he is like everybody else." + +"I thought you thought he was so wonderful," said Kate, "and so fond of +us." + +"So he is; I am surer of that than ever. That's why he went away so +abruptly." + +Kate looked at her sister now. "I don't understand." + +"Neither do I, darling. But you will, one of these days." + +"How if he never comes back?" + +"Oh, he will--after a while--when I am gone. Then he will explain; that, +at least, is clear to me." + +"My poor precious, as if I cared!" Kate Theory exclaimed, smiling as she +distributed her flowers. She carried them to the window, to place them +near her sister, and here she paused a moment, her eye caught by an +object, far out in the bay, with which she was not unfamiliar. Mildred +noticed its momentary look, and followed its direction. + +"It's the captain's gig going back to the ship," Milly said. "It's so +still one can almost hear the oars." + +Kate Theory turned away, with a sudden, strange violence, a movement and +exclamation which, the very next minute, as she became conscious of what +she had said,--and, still more, of what she felt--smote her own +heart (as it flushed her face) with surprise, and with the force of a +revelation: "I wish it would sink him to the bottom of the sea!" + +Her sister stared, then caught her by the dress, as she passed from her, +drawing her back with a weak hand. "Oh, my dearest, my poorest!" And she +pulled Kate down and down toward her, so that the girl had nothing for +it but to sink on her knees and bury her face in Mildred's lap. If that +ingenious invalid did not know everything now, she knew a great deal. + + + + +PART III. + + + + +V. + +Mrs. Percival proved very pretty. It is more gracious to begin with this +declaration, instead of saying that, in the first place, she proved very +silly. It took a long day to arrive at the end of her silliness, and the +two ladies at Posilippo, even after a week had passed, suspected that +they had only skirted its edges. Kate Theory had not spent half an hour +in her company before she gave a little private sigh of relief; she felt +that a situation which had promised to be embarrassing was now quite +clear, was even of a primitive simplicity. She would spend with her +sister-in-law, in the coming time, one week in the year; that was all +that was mortally possible. It was a blessing that one could see exactly +what she was, for in that way the question settled itself. It would have +been much more tiresome if Agnes had been a little less obvious; then +she would have had to hesitate and consider and weigh one thing against +another. She was pretty and silly, as distinctly as an orange is yellow +and round; and Kate Theory would as soon have thought of looking to her +to give interest to the future as she would have thought of looking to +an orange to impart solidity to the prospect of dinner. Mrs. Percival +travelled in the hope of meeting her American acquaintance, or of making +acquaintance with such Americans as she did meet, and for the purpose +of buying mementos for her relations. She was perpetually adding to her +store of articles in tortoise-shell, in mother-of-pearl, in olive-wood, +in ivory, in filigree, in tartan lacquer, in mosaic; and she had a +collection of Roman scarfs and Venetian beads, which she looked over +exhaustively every night before she went to bed. Her conversation +bore mainly upon the manner in which she intended to dispose of these +accumulations. She was constantly changing about, among each other, the +persons to whom they were respectively to be offered. At Borne one of +the first things she said to her husband after entering the Coliseum had +been: "I guess I will give the ivory work-box to Bessie and the Roman +pearls to Aunt Harriet!" She was always hanging over the travellers' +book at the hotel; she had it brought up to her, with a cup of +chocolate, as soon as she arrived. She searched its pages for the +magical name of New York, and she indulged in infinite conjecture as to +who the people were--the name was sometimes only a partial cue--who had +inscribed it there. What she most missed in Europe, and what she most +enjoyed, were the New Yorkers; when she met them she talked about the +people in their native city who had "moved" and the streets they had +moved to. "Oh, yes, the Drapers are going up town, to Twenty-fourth +Street, and the Vanderdeckens are going to be in Twenty-third Street, +right back of them. My uncle, Henry Piatt, thinks of building round +there." Mrs. Percival Theory was capable of repeating statements like +these thirty times over,--of lingering on them for hours. She talked +largely of herself, of her uncles and aunts, of her clothes--past, +present, and future. These articles, in especial, filled her horizon; +she considered them with a complacency which might have led you to +suppose that she had invented the custom of draping the human form. Her +main point of contact with Naples was the purchase of coral; and all the +while she was there the word "set"--she used it as if every one would +understand--fell with its little, flat, common sound upon the ears of +her sisters-in-law, who had no sets of anything. She cared little for +pictures and mountains; Alps and Apennines were not productive of +New Yorkers, and it was difficult to take an interest in Madonnas who +flourished at periods when, apparently, there were no fashions, or, at +any rate, no trimmings. + +I speak here not only of the impression she made upon her husband's +anxious sisters, but of the judgment passed on her (he went so far +as that, though it was not obvious how it mattered to him) by Raymond +Benyon. And this brings me at a jump (I confess it's a very small one) +to the fact that he did, after all, go back to Posilippo. He stayed away +for nine days, and at the end of this time Percival Theory called upon +him, to thank him for the civility he had shown his kinswomen. He went +to this gentleman's hotel, to return his visit, and there he found Miss +Kate, in her brother's sitting-room. She had come in by appointment from +the villa, and was going with the others to seek the royal palace, which +she had not yet had an opportunity to inspect It was proposed (not by +Kate), and presently arranged, that Captain Benyon should go with +them, and he accordingly walked over marble floors for half an hour, +exchanging conscious commonplaces with the woman he loved. For +this truth had rounded itself during those nine days of absence; he +discovered that there was nothing particularly sweet in his life when +once Kate Theory had been excluded from it He had stayed away to keep +himself from falling in love with her; but this expedient was in itself +illuminating, for he perceived that, according to the vulgar adage, he +was locking the stable door after the horse had been stolen. As he +paced the deck of his ship and looked toward Posilippo, his tenderness +crystallized; the thick, smoky flame of a sentiment that knew itself +forbidden and was angry at the knowledge, now danced upon the fuel of +his good resolutions. The latter, it must be said, resisted, declined +to be consumed. He determined that he would see Kate Theory again, for +a time, just sufficient to bid her good-by, and to add a little +explanation. He thought of his explanation very lovingly, but it may +not strike the reader as a happy inspiration. To part from her dryly, +abruptly, without an allusion to what he might have said if everything +had been different,--that would be wisdom, of course, that would be +virtue, that would be the line of a practical man, of a man who kept +himself well in hand. But it would be virtue terribly unrewarded,--it +would be virtue too austere for a person who sometimes flattered himself +that he had taught himself stoicism. The minor luxury tempted him +irresistibly, since the larger--that of happy love--was denied him; the +luxury of letting the girl know that it would not be an accident--oh, +not at all--that they should never meet again. She might easily think it +was, and thinking it was would doubtless do her no harm. But this would +n't give him his pleasure,--the Platonic satisfaction of expressing to +her at the same time his belief that they might have made each other +happy, and the necessity of his renunciation. That, probably, wouldn't +hurt her either, for she had given him no proof whatever that she cared +for him. The nearest approach to it was the way she walked beside him +now, sweet and silent, without the least reference to his not having +been back to the villa. The place was cool and dusky, the blinds were +drawn, to keep out the light and noise, and the little party wandered +through the high saloons, where precious marbles and the gleam of +gilding and satin made reflections in the rich dimness. Here and there +the cicerone, in slippers, with Neapolitan familiarity, threw open a +shutter to show off a picture on a tapestry. He strolled in front with +Percival Theory and his wife, while this lady, drooping silently from +her husband's arm as they passed, felt the stuff of the curtains and +the sofas. When he caught her in these experiments, the cicerone, in +expressive deprecation, clasped his hands and lifted his eyebrows; +whereupon Mrs. Theory exclaimed to her husband, "Oh, bother his old +king!" It was not striking to Captain Benyon why Percival Theory had +married the niece of Mr. Henry Piatt. He was less interesting than his +sisters,--a smooth, cool, correct young man, who frequently took out +a pencil and did a little arithmetic on the back of a letter. He +sometimes, in spite of his correctness, chewed a toothpick, and he +missed the American papers, which he used to ask for in the most +unlikely places. He was a Bostonian converted to New York; a very +special type. + +"Is it settled when you leave Naples?" Benyon asked of Kate Theory. + +"I think so; on the twenty-fourth. My brother has been very kind; he +has lent us his carriage, which is a large one, so that Mildred can lie +down. He and Agnes will take another; but, of course, we shall travel +together." + +"I wish to Heaven I were going with you?" Captain Benyon said. He had +given her the opportunity to respond, but she did not take it; she +merely remarked, with a vague laugh, that of course he couldn't take his +ship over the Apennines. "Yes, there is always my ship," he went on. "I +am afraid that in future it will carry me far away from you." + +They were alone in one of the royal apartments; their companions had +passed, in advance of them, into the adjoining room. Benyon and his +fellow-visitor had paused beneath one of the immense chandeliers of +glass, which in the clear, colored gloom (through it one felt the strong +outer light of Italy beating in) suspended its twinkling drops from the +decorated vault. They looked round them confusedly, made shy for the +moment by Benyon's having struck a note more serious than any that had +hitherto souuded between them, looked at the sparse furniture, draped +in white overalls, at the scagiiola floor, in which the great cluster of +crystal pendants seemed to shine again. + +"You are master of your ship. Can't you sail it as you like?" Kate +Theory asked, with a smile. + +"I am not master of anything. There is not a man in the world less free. +I am a slave. I am a victim." + +She looked at him with kind eyes; something in his voice suddenly made +her put away all thought of the defensive airs that a girl, in certain +situations, is expected to assume. She perceived that he wanted to make +her understand something, and now her only wish was to help him to say +it. "You are not happy," she murmured, simply, her voice dying away in a +kind of wonderment at this reality. + +The gentle touch of the words--it was as if her hand had stroked his +cheek--seemed to him the sweetest thing he had ever known. "No, I am not +happy, because I am not free. If I were--if I were, I would give up my +ship. I would give up everything, to follow you. I can't explain; that +is part of the hardness of it. I only want you to know it,--that if +certain things were different, if everything was different, I might tell +you that I believe I should have a right to speak to you. Perhaps some +day it will change; but probably then it will be too late. Meanwhile, I +have no right of any kind. I don't want to trouble you, and I don't ask +of you--anything! It is only to have spoken just once. I don't make +you understand, of course. I am afraid I seem to you rather a +brute,--perhaps even a humbug. Don't think of it now,--don't try to +understand. But some day, in the future, remember what I have said to +you, and how we stood here, in this strange old place, alone! Perhaps it +will give you a little pleasure." + +Kate Theory began by listening to him with visible eagerness; but in a +moment she turned away her eyes. "I am very sorry for you," she said, +gravely. + +"Then you do understand enough?" + +"I shall think of what you have said, in the future." + +Benyon's lips formed the beginning of a word of tenderness, which he +instantly suppressed; and in a different tone, with a bitter smile and a +sad shake of the head, raising his arms a moment and letting them fall, +he said: "It won't hurt any one, your remembering this!" + +"I don't know whom you mean." And the girl, abruptly, began to walk to +the end of the room. He made no attempt to tell her whom he meant, and +they proceeded together in silence till they overtook their companions. + +There were several pictures in the neighboring room, and Percival Theory +and his wife had stopped to look at one of them, of which the cicerone +announced the title and the authorship as Benyon came up. It was a +modern portrait of a Bourbon princess, a woman young, fair, handsome, +covered with jewels. Mrs. Percival appeared to be more struck with it +than with anything the palace had yet offered to her sight, while her +sister-in-law walked to the window, which the custodian had opened, to +look out into the garden. Benyon noticed this; he was conscious that +he had given the girl something to reflect upon, and his ears burned a +little as he stood beside Mrs. Percival and looked up, mechanically, at +the royal lady. He already repented a little of what he had said, for, +after all, what was the use? And he hoped the others wouldn't observe +that he had been making love. + +"Gracious, Percival! Do you see who she looks like?" Mrs. Theory said to +her husband. + +"She looks like a woman who has run up a big bill at Tiffany's," this +gentleman answered. + +"She looks like my sister-in-law; the eyes, the mouth, the way the +hair's done,--the whole thing." + +"Which do you mean? You have got about a dozen." + +"Why, Georgina, of course,--Georgina Roy. She's awfully like." + +"Do you call _her_ your sister-in-law?" Percival Theory asked. "You must +want very much to claim her." + +"Well, she's handsome enough. You have got to invent some new name, +then. Captain Benyon, what do you call your brother-in-law's second +wife?" Mrs. Percival continued, turning to her neighbor, who still stood +staring at the portrait. At first he had looked without seeing; then +sight, and hearing as well, became quick. They were suddenly peopled +with thrilling recognitions. The Bourbon princess--the eyes, the mouth, +the way the hair was done; these things took on an identity, and the +gaze of the painted face seemed to fasten itself to his own. But who in +the world was Georgina Roy, and what was this talk about sisters-in-law? +He turned to the little lady at his side a countenance unexpectedly +puzzled by the problem she had airily presented to him. + +"Your brother-in-law's second wife? That's rather complicated." + +"Well, of course, he need n't have married again?" said Mrs. Percival, +with a small sigh. + +"Whom did he marry?" asked Benyon, staring. + +Percival Theory had turned away. "Oh, if you are going into her +relationships!" he murmured, and joined his sister at the brilliant +window, through which, from the distance, the many-voiced uproar of +Naples came in. + +"He married first my sister Dora, and she died five years ago. Then he +married _her_," and Mrs. Percival nodded at the princess. + +Benyon's eyes went back to the portrait; he could see what she meant--it +stared out at him. "Her? Georgina?" + +"Georgina Gressie. Gracious, do you know her?" + +It was very distinct--that answer of Mrs. Percival's, and the question +that followed it as well. But he had the resource of the picture; he +could look at it, seem to take it very seriously, though it danced up +and down before him. He felt that he was turning red, then he felt that +he was turning pale. "The brazen impudence!" That was the way he +could speak to himself now of the woman he had once loved, and whom he +afterwards hated, till this had died out, too. Then the wonder of it was +lost in the quickly growing sense that it would make a difference +for him,--a great difference. Exactly what, he didn't see yet; only a +difference that swelled and swelled as he thought of it, and caught up, +in its expansion, the girl who stood behind him so quietly, looking into +the Italian garden. + +The custodian drew Mrs. Percival away to show her another princess, +before Benyon answered her last inquiry. This gave him time to recover +from his first impulse, which had been to answer it with a negative; +he saw in a moment that an admission of his acquaintance with Mrs. Roy +(Mrs. Roy!--it was prodigious!) was necessarily helping him to learn +more. Besides, it needn't be compromising. Very likely Mrs. Percival +would hear one day that he had once wanted to marry her. So, when he +joined his companions a minute later he remarked that he had known Miss +Gressie years before, and had even admired her considerably, but had +lost sight of her entirely in later days. She had been a great beauty, +and it was a wonder that she had not married earlier. Five years ago, +was it? No, it was only two. He had been going to say that in so long a +time it would have been singular he should not have heard of it. He had +been away from New York for ages; but one always heard of marriages and +deaths. This was a proof, though two years was rather long. He led Mrs. +Percival insidiously into a further room, in advance of the others, +to whom the cicerone returned. She was delighted to talk about her +"connections," and she supplied him with every detail He could trust +himself now; his self-possession was complete, or, so far as it was +wanting, the fault was that of a sudden gayety which he could not, on +the spot, have accounted for. Of course it was not very flattering to +them--Mrs. Percivals own people--that poor Dora's husband should have +consoled himself; but men always did it (talk of widows!) and he +had chosen a girl who was--well, very fine-looking, and the sort of +successor to Dora that they needn't be ashamed of. She had been awfully +admired, and no one had understood why she had waited so long to marry. +She had had some affair as a girl,--an engagement to an officer in the +army,--and the man had jilted her, or they had quarrelled, or something +or other. She was almost an old maid,--well, she was thirty, or very +nearly,--but she had done something good now. She was handsomer than +ever, and tremendously stylish. William Roy had one of the biggest +incomes in the city, and he was quite affectionate. He had been +intensely fond of Dora--he often spoke of her still, at least to her +own relations; and her portrait, the last time Mrs. Percival was in his +house (it was at a party, after his marriage to Miss Gressie), was still +in the front parlor.. Perhaps by this time he had had it moved to the +back; but she was sure he would keep it somewhere, anyway. Poor Dora +had had no children; but Georgina was making that all right,--she had +a beautiful boy. Mrs. Percival had what she would have called quite a +pleasant chat with Captain Benyon about Mrs. Roy. Perhaps _he_ was the +officer--she never thought of that? He was sure he had never jilted her? +And he had never quarrelled with a lady? Well, he must be different from +most men. + +He certainly had the air of being so, before he parted that afternoon +with Kate Theory. This young lady, at least, was free to think him +wanting in that consistency which is supposed to be a distinctively +masculine virtue. An hour before, he had taken an eternal farewell +of her, and now he was alluding to future meetings, to future visits, +proposing that, with her sister-in-law, she should appoint an early day +for coming to see the "Louisiana." She had supposed she understood him, +but it would appear now that she had not understood him at all. His +manner had changed, too. More and more off his guard, Raymond Benyon +was not aware how much more hopeful an expression it gave him, his +irresistible sense that somehow or other this extraordinary proceeding +of his wife's would set him free. Kate Theory felt rather weary and +mystified,--all the more for knowing that henceforth Captain Benyon's +variations would be the most important thing in life for her. + +This officer, on his ship in the bay, lingered very late on deck that +night,--lingered there, indeed, under the warm southern sky, in which +the stars glittered with a hot, red light, until the early dawn began to +show. He smoked cigar after cigar, he walked up and down by the hour, he +was agitated by a thousand reflections, he repeated to himself that +it made a difference,--an immense difference; but the pink light had +deepened in the east before he had discovered in what the diversity +consisted. By that time he saw it clearly,--it consisted in Georgina's +being in his power now, in place of his being in hers. He laughed as he +sat there alone in the darkness at the thought of what she had done. It +had occurred to him more than once that she would do it,--he believed +her capable of anything; but the accomplished fact had a freshness of +comicality. He thought of Mr. William Roy, of his big income, of his +being "quite affectionate," of his blooming son and heir, of his having +found such a worthy successor to poor Mrs. Dora. He wondered whether +Georgina had happened to mention to him that she had a husband living, +but was strongly of the belief that she had not. Why should she, after +all? She had neglected to mention it to so many others. He had thought +he knew her, in so many years,--that he had nothing more to learn about +her; but this ripe stroke revived his sense of her audacity. Of course +it was what she had been waiting for, and if she had not done it sooner +it was because she had hoped he would be lost at sea in one of his long +cruises and relieve her of the necessity of a crime. How she must hate +him to-day for not having been lost, for being alive, for continuing to +put her in the wrong! Much as she hated him, however, his own loathing +was at least a match for hers. She had done him the foulest of +wrongs,--she had ravaged his life. That he should ever detest in this +degree a woman whom he had once loved as he loved her, he would not have +thought possible in his innocent younger years. But he would not have +thought it possible then that a woman should be such a cold-blooded +devil as she had been. His love had perished in his rage,--his blinding, +impotent rage at finding that he had been duped, and measuring his +impotence. When he learned, years before, from Mrs. Portico, what she +had done with her baby, of whose entrance into life she herself had +given him no intimation, he felt that he was face to face with a full +revelation of her nature. Before that it had puzzled him; it had amazed +him; his relations with her were bewildering, stupefying. But when, +after obtaining, with difficulty and delay, a leave of absence from +Government, and betaking himself to Italy to look for the child and +assume possession of it, he had encountered absolute failure and +defeat,--then the case presented itself to him more simply. He perceived +that he had mated himself with a creature who just happened to be +a monster, a human exception altogether. That was what he could n't +pardon--her conduct about the child; never, never, never! To him she +might have done what she chose,--dropped him, pushed him out into +eternal cold, with his hands fast tied,--and he would have accepted +it, excused her almost, admitted that it had been his business to mind +better what he was about. But she had tortured him through the poor +little irrecoverable son whom he had never seen, through the heart +and the vitals that she had not herself, and that he had to have, poor +wretch, for both of them! + +All his efforts for years had been to forget these horrible months, and +he had cut himself off from them so that they seemed at times to belong +to the life of another person. But to-night he lived them over again; +he retraced the different gradations of darkness through which he had +passed, from the moment, so soon after his extraordinary marriage, when +it came over him that she already repented, and meant, if possible, to +elude all her obligations. This was the moment when he saw why she had +reserved herself--in the strange vow she extracted from him--an +open door for retreat; the moment, too, when her having had such an +inspiration (in the midst of her momentary good faith, if good faith it +had ever been) struck him as a proof of her essential depravity. What he +had tried to forget came back to him: the child that was not his child +produced for him when he fell upon that squalid nest of peasants in +the Genoese country; and then the confessions, retractations, +contradictions, lies, terrors, threats, and general bottomless, baffling +baseness of every one in the place. The child was gone; that had been +the only definite thing. The woman who had taken it to nurse had a +dozen different stories,--her husband had as many,--and every one in the +village had a hundred more. Georgina had been sending money,--she had +managed, apparently, to send a good deal,--and the whole country seemed +to have been living on it and making merry. At one moment the baby +had died and received a most expensive burial; at another he had been +intrusted (for more healthy air, Santissima Madonna!) to the woman's +cousin in another village. According to a version, which for a day or +two Benyon had inclined to think the least false, he had been taken by +the cousin (for his beauty's sake) to Genoa (when she went for the first +time in her life to the town to see her daughter in service there), and +had been confided for a few hours to a third woman, who was to keep him +while the cousin walked about the streets, but who, having no child of +her own, took such a fancy to him that she refused to give him up, and +a few days later left the place (she was a Pisana) never to be heard +of more. The cousin had forgotten her name,--it had happened six months +before. Benyon spent a year looking up and down Italy for his child, +and inspecting hundreds of swaddled infants, impenetrable candidates for +recognition. Of course he could only get further and further from real +knowledge, and his search was arrested by the conviction that it was +making him mad. He set his teeth and made up his mind (or tried to) that +the baby had died in the hands of its nurse. This was, after all, much +the likeliest supposition, and the woman had maintained it, in the hope +of being rewarded for her candor, quite as often as she had asseverated +that it was still, somewhere, alive, in the hope of being remunerated +for her good news. It may be imagined with what sentiments toward his +wife Benyon had emerged from this episode. To-night his memory went +further back,--back to the beginning and to the days when he had had +to ask himself, with all the crudity of his first surprise, what in the +name of wantonness she had wished to do with him. The answer to +this speculation was so old,--it had dropped so ont of the line of +recurrence,--that it was now almost new again. Moreover, it was only +approximate, for, as I have already said, he could comprehend such +conduct as little at the end as at the beginning. She had found herself +on a slope which her nature forced her to descend to the bottom. She did +him the honor of wishing to enjoy his society, and she did herself +the honor of thinking that their intimacy--however brief--must have a +certain consecration. She felt that, with him, after his promise (he +would have made any promise to lead her on), she was secure,--secure +as she had proved to be, secure as she must think herself now. That +security had helped her to ask herself, after the first flush of passion +was over, and her native, her twice-inherited worldliness had bad time +to open its eyes again, why she should keep faith with a man whose +deficiencies (as a husband before the world--another affair) had been +so scientifically exposed to her by her parents. So she had simply +determined not to keep faith; and her determination, at least, she did +keep. + +By the time Benyon turned in he had satisfied himself, as I say, +that Georgina was now in his power; and this seemed to him such an +improvement in his situation that he allowed himself (for the next ten +days) a license which made Kate Theory almost as happy as it made her +sister, though she pretended to understand it far less. Mildred sank to +her rest, or rose to fuller comprehensions, within the year, in the Isle +of Wight, and Captain Benyon, who had never written so many letters as +since they left Naples, sailed westward about the same time as the sweet +survivor. For the "Louisiana" at last was ordered home. + + + + +VI. + +Certainly, I will see you if you come, and you may appoint any day or +hour you like. I should have seen you with pleasure any time these last +years. Why should we not be friends, as we used to be? Perhaps we shall +be yet. I say "perhaps" only, on purpose,--because your note is rather +vague about your state of mind. Don't come with any idea about making me +nervous or uncomfortable. I am not nervous by nature, thank Heaven, +and I won't--I positively won't (do you hear, dear Captain Benyon?)--be +uncomfortable. I have been so (it served me right) for years and years; +but I am very happy now. To remain so is the very definite intention of, +yours ever, + +Georgina Roy. + + +This was the answer Benyon received to a short letter that he despatched +to Mrs. Roy after his return to America. It was not till he had been +there some weeks that he wrote to her. He had been occupied in various +ways: he had had to look after his ship; he had had to report at +Washington; he had spent a fortnight with his mother at Portsmouth, N. +H.; and he had paid a visit to Kate Theory in Boston. She herself was +paying visits, she was staying with various relatives and friends. She +had more color--it was very delicately rosy--than she had had of old, in +spite of her black dress; and the effect of looking at him seemed to him +to make her eyes grow still prettier. Though sisterless now, she was not +without duties, and Benyon could easily see that life would press hard +on her unless some one should interfere. Every one regarded her as +just the person to do certain things. Every one thought she could do +everything, because she had nothing else to do. She used to read to the +blind, and, more onerously, to the deaf. She looked after other people's +children while the parents attended anti-slavery conventions. + +She was coming to New York later to spend a week at her brother's, but +beyond this she didn't know what she should do. Benyon felt it to be +awkward that he should not be able, just now, to tell her; and this +had much to do with his coming to the point, for he accused himself of +having rather hung fire. Coming to the point, for Benyon, meant writing +a note to Mrs. Roy (as he must call her), in which he asked whether she +would see him if he should present himself. The missive was short; it +contained, in addition to what I have noted, little more than the remark +that he had something of importance to say to her. Her reply, which we +have just read, was prompt. Benyon designated an hour, and the next +day rang the doorbell of her big modern house, whose polished windows +seemed to shine defiance at him. + +As he stood on the steps, looking up and down the straight vista of the +Fifth Avenue, he perceived that he was trembling a little, that _he_ +was nervous, if she was not. He was ashamed of his agitation, and he +addressed himself a very stern reprimand. Afterwards he saw that what +had made him nervous was not any doubt of the goodness of his cause, +but his revived sense (as he drew near her) of his wife's hardness,--her +capacity for insolence. He might only break himself against that, and +the prospect made him feel helpless. She kept him waiting for a long +time after he had been introduced; and as he walked up and down her +drawing-room, an immense, florid, expensive apartment, covered with +blue satin, gilding, mirrors and bad frescos, it came over him as a +certainty that her delay was calculated. She wished to annoy him, to +weary him; she was as ungenerous as she was unscrupulous. It never +occurred to him that in spite of the bold words of her note, she, too, +might be in a tremor, and if any one in their secret bad suggested that +she was afraid to meet him, he would have laughed at this idea. This +was of bad omen for the success of his errand; for it showed that he +recognized the ground of her presumption,--his having the superstition +of old promises. By the time she appeared, he was flushed,--very angry. +She closed the door behind her, and stood there looking at him, with the +width of the room between them. + +The first emotion her presence excited was a quick sense of the strange +fact that, after all these years of loneliness, such a magnificent +person should be his wife. For she was magnificent, in the maturity of +her beauty, her head erect, her complexion splendid, her auburn tresses +undimmed, a certain plenitude in her very glance. He saw in a moment +that she wished to seem to him beautiful, she had endeavored to dress +herself to the best effect. Perhaps, after all, it was only for this she +had delayed; she wished to give herself every possible touch. For some +moments they said nothing; they had not stood face to face for nearly +ten years, and they met now as adversaries. No two persons could +possibly be more interested in taking each other's measure. It scarcely +belonged to Georgina, however, to have too much the air of timidity; +and after a moment, satisfied, apparently, that she was not to receive a +broadside, she advanced, slowly rubbing her jewelled hands and smiling. +He wondered why she should smile, what thought was in her mind. His +impressions followed each other with extraordinary quickness of pulse, +and now he saw, in addition to what he had already perceived, that she +was waiting to take her cue,--she had determined on no definite line. +There was nothing definite about her but her courage; the rest would +depend upon him. As for her courage, it seemed to glow in the beauty +which grew greater as she came nearer, with her eyes on his and her +fixed smile; to be expressed in the very perfume that accompanied her +steps. By this time he had got still a further impression, and it was +the strangest of all. She was ready for anything, she was capable of +anything, she wished to surprise him with her beauty, to remind him that +it belonged, after all, at the bottom of everything, to him. She was +ready to bribe him, if bribing should be necessary. She had carried on +an intrigue before she was twenty; it would be more, rather than less, +easy for her, now that she was thirty. All this and more was in her +cold, living eyes, as in the prolonged silence they engaged themselves +with his; but I must not dwell upon it, for reasons extraneous to the +remarkable fact She was a truly amazing creature. + +"Raymond!" she said, in a low voice, a voice which might represent +either a vague greeting or an appeal. + +He took no heed of the exclamation, but asked her why she had +deliberately kept him waiting,--as if she had not made a fool enough of +him already. She could n't suppose it was for his pleasure he had come +into the house. + +She hesitated a moment,--still with her smile. "I must tell you I have +a son,--the dearest little boy. His nurse happened to be engaged for the +moment, and I had to watch him. I am more devoted to him than you might +suppose." + +He fell back from her a few steps. "I wonder if you are insane," he +murmured. + +"To allude to my child? Why do you ask me such questions then? I tell +you the simple truth. I take every care of this one. I am older and +wiser. The other one was a complete mistake; he had no right to exist." + +"Why didn't you kill him then with your own hands, instead of that +torture?" + +"Why did n't I kill myself? That question would be more to the point You +are looking wonderfully well," she broke off in another tone; "had n't +we better sit down?" + +"I did n't come here for the advantage of conversation," Benyon +answered. And he was going on, but she interrupted him-- + +"You came to say something dreadful, very likely; though I hoped you +would see it was better not But just tell me this before you begin. Are +you successful, are you happy? It has been so provoking, not knowing +more about you." + +There was something in the manner in which this was said that caused him +to break into a loud laugh; whereupon she added,-- + +"Your laugh is just what it used to be. How it comes back to me! You +_have_ improved in appearance," she went on. + +She had seated herself, though he remained standing; and she leaned back +in a low, deep chair, looking up at him, with her arms folded. He stood +near her and over her, as it were, dropping his baffled eyes on her, +with his hand resting on the corner of the chimney-piece. "Has it never +occurred to you that I may deem myself absolved from the promise made +you before I married you?" + +"Very often, of course. But I have instantly dismissed the idea. How can +you be 'absolved'? One promises, or one doesn't. I attach no meaning +to that, and neither do you." And she glanced down to the front of her +dress. + +Benyon listened, but he went on as if he had not heard her. "What I came +to say to you is this: that I should like your consent to my bringing a +suit for divorce against you." + +"A suit for divorce? I never thought of that." + +"So that I may marry another woman. I can easily obtain a divorce on the +ground of your desertion." + +She stared a moment, then her smile solidified, as it were, and she +looked grave; but he could see that her gravity, with her lifted +eyebrows, was partly assumed. "Ah, you want to marry another woman!" she +exclaimed, slowly, thoughtfully. He said nothing, and she went on: "Why +don't you do as I have done?" + +"Because I don't want my children to be--" + +Before he could say the words she sprang up, checking him with a cry. +"Don't say it; it is n't necessary! Of course I know what you mean; but +they won't be if no one knows it." + +"I should object to knowing it myself; it's enough for me to know it of +yours." + +"Of course I have been prepared for your saying that" + +"I should hope so!" Benyon exclaimed. "You may be a bigamist if it +suits you, but to me the idea is not attractive. I wish to marry--" and, +hesitating a moment, with his slight stammer, he repeated, "I wish to +marry--" + +"Marry, then, and have done with it!" cried Mrs. Roy. + +He could already see that he should be able to extract no consent from +her; he felt rather sick. "It's extraordinary to me that you should n't +be more afraid of being found out," he said after a moment's reflection. +"There are two or three possible accidents." + +"How do you know how much afraid I am? I have thought of every accident, +in dreadful nights. How do you know what my life is, or what it has been +all these miserable years?" + +"You look wasted and worn, certainly." + +"Ah, don't compliment me!" Georgina exclaimed. "If I had never known +you--if I had not been through all this--I believe I should have been +handsome. When did you hear of my marriage? Where were you at the time?" + +"At Naples, more than six months ago, by a mere chance." + +"How strange that it should have taken you so long! Is the lady a +Neapolitan? They don't mind what they do over there." + +"I have no information to give you beyond what I just said," Benyon +rejoined. "My life does n't in the least regard you." + +"Ah, but it does from the moment I refuse to let you divorce me." + +"You refuse?" Benyon said softly. + +"Don't look at me that way! You have n't advanced so rapidly as I used +to think you would; you haven't distinguished yourself so much," she +went on, irrelevantly. + +"I shall be promoted commodore one of these days," Benyon answered. +"You don't know much about it, for my advancement has already been very +exceptionally rapid." He blushed as soon as the words were out of his +mouth. She gave a light laugh on seeing it; but he took up his hat and +added: "Think over a day or two what I have proposed to you. Think of +the temper in which I ask it." + +"The temper?" she stared. "Pray, what have you to do with temper?" And +as he made no reply, smoothing his hat with his glove, she went on: +"Years ago, as much as you please I you had a good right, I don't deny, +and you raved, in your letters, to your heart's content That's why +I would n't see you; I did n't wish to take it full in the face. But +that's all over now, time is a healer, you have cooled off, and by your +own admission you have consoled yourself. Why do you talk to me about +temper! What in the world have I done to you, but let you alone?" + +"What do you call this business?" Benyon asked, with his eye flashing +all over the room. + +"Ah, excuse me, that doesn't touch you,--it's my affair. I leave you +your liberty, and I can live as I like. If I choose to live in this way, +it may be queer (I admit it is, awfully), but you have nothing to say +to it. If I am willing to take the risk, you may be. If I am willing to +play such an infernal trick upon a confiding gentleman (I will put it as +strongly as you possibly could), I don't see what you have to say to it +except that you are tremendously glad such a woman as that is n't known +to be your wife!" She had been cool and deliberate up to this time; but +with these words her latent agitation broke out "Do you think I have +been happy? Do you think I have enjoyed existence? Do you see me +freezing up into a stark old maid?" + +"I wonder you stood out so long!" said Benyon. + +"I wonder I did. They were bad years." + +"I have no doubt they were!" + +"You could do as you pleased," Georgina went on. "You roamed about the +world; you formed charming relations. I am delighted to hear it from +your own lips. Think of my going back to my father's house--that family +vault--and living there, year after year, as Miss Gressie! If you +remember my father and mother--they are round in Twelfth Street, just +the same--you must admit that I paid for my folly!" + +"I have never understood you; I don't understand you now," said Benyon. + +She looked at him a moment. "I adored you." + +"I could damn you with a word!" he went on. + +The moment he had spoken she grasped his arm and held up her other hand, +as if she were listening to a sound outside the room. She had evidently +had an inspiration, and she carried it into instant effect She swept +away to the door, flung it open, and passed into the hall, whence her +voice came back to Benyon as she addressed a person who was apparently +her husband. She had heard him enter the house at his habitual hour, +after his long morning at business; the closing of the door of the +vestibule had struck her ear. The parlor was on a level with the hall, +and she greeted him without impediment. She asked him to come in and be +introduced to Captain Benyon, and he responded with due solemnity. She +returned in advance of him, her eyes fixed upon Benyon and lighted +with defiance, her whole face saying to him, vividly: "Here is your +opportunity; I give it to you with my own hands. Break your promise and +betray me if you dare! You say you can damn me with a word: speak the +word and let us see!" + +Benyon's heart beat faster, as he felt that it was indeed a chance; but +half his emotion came from the spectacle--magnificent in its way--of her +unparalleled impudence. A sense of all that he had escaped in not +having had to live with her rolled over him like a wave, while he looked +strangely at Mr. Roy, to whom this privilege had been vouchsafed. He saw +in a moment his successor had a constitution that would carry it. +Mr. Roy suggested squareness and solidity; he was a broadbased, +comfortable, polished man, with a surface in which the rank tendrils +of irritation would not easily obtain a foothold. He had a broad, +blank face, a capacious mouth, and a small, light eye, to which, as +he entered, he was engaged in adjusting a double gold-rimmed glass. +He approached Benyon with a prudent, civil, punctual air, as if he +habitually met a good many gentlemen in the course of business, and +though, naturally, this was not that sort of occasion he was not a man +to waste time in preliminaries. Benyon had immediately the impression +of having seen him--or his equivalent--a thousand times before. He was +middle-aged, fresh-colored, whiskered, prosperous, indefinite. Georgina +introduced them to each other. She spoke of Benyon as an old friend whom +she had known long before she had known Mr. Roy, who had been very kind +to her years ago, when she was a girl. + +"He's in the navy. He has just come back from a long cruise." + +Mr. Hoy shook hands,--Benyon gave him his before he knew it,--said he +was very happy, smiled, looked at Benyon from head to foot, then at +Georgina, then round the room, then back at Benyon again,--at Benyon, +who stood there, without sound or movement, with a dilated eye, and a +pulse quickened to a degree of which Mr. Roy could have little idea. +Georgina made some remark about their sitting down, but William Roy +replied that he had n't time for that,--if Captain Benyon would excuse +him. He should have to go straight into the library, and write a note to +send back to his office, where, as he just remembered, he had neglected +to give, in leaving the place, an important direction. + +"You can wait a moment, surely," Georgina said. "Captain Benyon wants so +much to see you." + +"Oh, yes, my dear; I can wait a minute, and I can come back." + +Benyon saw, accordingly, that he was waiting, and that Georgina was +waiting too. Each was waiting for him to say something, though they were +waiting for different things. Mr. Roy put his hands behind him, +balanced himself on his toes, hoped that Captain Benyon had enjoyed +his cruise,--though he should n't care much for the navy himself,--and +evidently wondered at the stolidity of his wife's visitor. Benyon knew +he was speaking, for he indulged in two or three more observations, +after which he stopped. But his meaning was not present to our hero. +This personage was conscious of only one thing, of his own momentary +power,--of everything that hung on his lips; all the rest swam before +him; there was vagueness in his ears and eyes. Mr. Roy stopped, as I +say, and there was a pause, which seemed to Benyon of tremendous length. +He knew, while it lasted, that Georgina was as conscious as himself that +he felt his opportunity, that he held it there in his hand, weighing it +noiselessly in the palm, and that she braved and scorned, or, rather, +that she enjoyed, the danger. He asked himself whether he should be able +to speak if he were to try, and then he knew that he should not, that +the words would stick in his throat, that he should make sounds that +would dishonor his cause. There was no real choice or decision, then, on +Benyon's part; his silence was after all the same old silence, the fruit +of other hours and places, the stillness to which Georgina listened, +while he felt her eager eyes fairly eat into his face, so that his +cheeks burned with the touch of them. The moments stood before him in +their turn; each one was distinct. "Ah, well," said Mr. Roy, "perhaps I +interrupt,--I 'll just dash off my note" Benyon knew that he was rather +bewildered, that he was making a pretext, that he was leaving the room; +knew presently that Georgina again stood before him alone. + +"You are exactly the man I thought you!" she announced, as joyously as +if she had won a bet. + +"You are the most horrible woman I can imagine. Good God! if I _had_ had +to live with you!" That is what he said to her in answer. + +Even at this she never flushed; she continued to smile in triumph. "He +adores me--but what's that to you? Of course you have all the future," +she went on; "but I know you as if I had made you!" + +Benyon reflected a moment "If he adores you, you are all right. If +our divorce is pronounced, you will be free, and then he can marry you +properly, which he would like ever so much better." + +"It's too touching to hear you reason about it. Fancy me telling such a +hideous story--about myself--me--_me_!" And she touched her breasts with +her white fingers. + +Benyon gave her a look that was charged with all the sickness of his +helpless rage. "You--_you_!" he repeated, as he turned away from her and +passed through the door which Mr. Roy had left open. + +She followed him into the hall, she was close behind him; he moved +before her as she pressed. "There was one more reason," she said. "I +would n't be forbidden. It was my hideous pride. That's what prevents me +now." + +"I don't care what it is," Benyon answered, wearily, with his hand on +the knob of the door. + +She laid hers on his shoulder; he stood there an instant feeling it, +wishing that her loathsome touch gave him the right to strike her to the +earth,--to strike her so that she should never rise again. + +"How clever you are, and intelligent always,--as you used to be; to +feel so perfectly and know so well, without more scenes, that it's +hopeless--my ever consenting! If I have, with you, the shame of having +made you promise, let me at least have the profit!" + +His back had been turned to her, but at this he glanced round. "To hear +you talk of shame--!" + +"You don't know what I have gone through; but, of course, I don't ask +any pity from you. Only I should like to say something kind to you +before we part I admire you, esteem you: I don't many people! Who will +ever tell her, if you don't? How will she ever know, then? She will be +as safe as I am. You know what that is," said Georgina, smiling. + +He had opened the door while she spoke, apparently not heeding her, +thinking only of getting away from her forever. In reality he heard +every word she said, and felt to his marrow the lowered, suggestive +tone in which she made him that last recommendation. Outside, on the +steps--she stood there in the doorway--he gave her his last look. "I +only hope you will die. I shall pray for that!" And he descended into +the street and took his way. + +It was after this that his real temptation came. Not the temptation to +return betrayal for betrayal; that passed away even in a few days, +for he simply knew that he couldn't break his promise, that it imposed +itself on him as stubbornly as the color of his eyes or the stammer of +his lips; it had gone forth into the world to live for itself, and was +far beyond his reach or his authority. But the temptation to go through +the form of a marriage with Kate Theory, to let her suppose that he was +as free as herself, and that their children, if they should have any, +would, before the law, have a right to exist,--this attractive idea held +him fast for many weeks, and caused him to pass some haggard nights and +days. It was perfectly possible she might learn his secret, and that, +as no one could either suspect it or have an interest in bringing it to +light, they both might live and die in security and honor. This vision +fascinated him; it was, I say, a real temptation. He thought of other +solutions,--of telling her that he was married (without telling her +to whom), and inducing her to overlook such an accident, and content +herself with a ceremony in which the world would see no flaw. But after +all the contortions of his spirit it remained as clear to him as before +that dishonor was in everything but renunciation. So, at last, he +renounced. He took two steps which attested ths act to himself. He +addressed an urgent request to the Secretary of the Navy that he might, +with as little delay as possible, be despatched on another long voyage; +and he returned to Boston to tell Kate Theory that they must wait. He +could explain so little that, say what he would, he was aware that he +could not make his conduct seem natural, and he saw that the girl +only trusted him,--that she never understood. She trusted without +understanding, and she agreed to wait. When the writer of these pages +last heard of the pair they were waiting still. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Georgina's Reasons, by Henry James + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GEORGINA'S REASONS *** + +***** This file should be named 21771.txt or 21771.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/7/7/21771/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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