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diff --git a/21770.txt b/21770.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5d71305 --- /dev/null +++ b/21770.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2197 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Author Of Beltraffio, by Henry James + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Author Of Beltraffio + +Author: Henry James + +Release Date: June 8, 2007 [EBook #21770] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AUTHOR OF BELTRAFFIO *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +THE AUTHOR OF BELTRAFFIO. + +By Henry James + +1885 + + + + + +PART I. + +Much as I wished to see him, I had kept my letter of introduction for +three weeks in my pocket-book. I was nervous and timid about meeting +him,--conscious of youth and ignorance, convinced that he was tormented +by strangers, and especially by my country-people, and not exempt from +the suspicion that he had the irritability as well as the brilliancy of +genius. Moreover, the pleasure, if it should occur (for I could scarcely +believe it was near at hand), would be so great that I wished to think +of it in advance, to feel that it was in my pocket, not to mix it with +satisfactions more superficial and usual In the little game of new +sensations that I was playing with my ingenuous mind, I wished to keep +my visit to the author of _Beltraffio_ as a trump card. It was three +years after the publication of that fascinating work, which I had read +over five times, and which now, with my riper judgment, I admire on the +whole as much as ever. This will give you about the date of my first +visit (of any duration) to England; for you will not have forgotten +the commotion--I may even say the scandal--produced by Mark Ambient's +masterpiece. It was the most complete presentation that had yet been +made of the gospel of art; it was a kind of aesthetic war-cry. People +had endeavored to sail nearer to "truth" in the cut of their sleeves +and the shape of their sideboards; but there had not as yet been, among +English novels, such an example of beauty of execution and genuineness +of substance. Nothing had been done in that line from the point of view +of art for art This was my own point of view, I may mention, when I +was twenty-five; whether it is altered now I won't take upon myself +to say--especially as the discerning reader will be able to judge for +himself. I had been in England, briefly, a twelvemonth before the time +to which I began by alluding, and had learned then that Mr. Ambient was +in distant lands--was making a considerable tour in the East: so there +was nothing to do but to keep my letter till I should be in London +again. It was of little use to me to hear that his wife had not left +England, and, with her little boy, their only child, was spending the +period of her husband's absence--a good many months--at a small place +they had down in Surrey. They had a house in London which was let. All +this I learned, and also that Mrs. Ambient was charming (my friend the +American poet, from whom I had my introduction, had never seen her, his +relations with the great man being only epistolary); but she was +not, after all, though she had lived so near the rose, the author of +_Beltraffio_, and I did not go down into Surrey to call on her. I went +to the Continent, spent the following winter in Italy, and returned to +London in May. My visit to Italy opened my eyes to a good many things, +but to nothing more than the beauty of certain pages in the works of +Mark Ambient I had every one of his productions in my portmanteau,--they +are not, as you know, very numerous, but he had preluded to _Beltraffio_ +by some exquisite things,--and I used to read them over in the evening +at the inn. I used to say to myself that the man who drew those +characters and wrote that style understood what he saw and knew what he +was doing. This is my only reason for mentioning my winter in Italy. +He had been there much in former years, and he was saturated with what +painters call the "feeling" of that classic land. He expressed the +charm of the old hill-cities of Tuscany, the look of certain lonely +grass-grown places which, in the past, had echoed with life; he +understood the great artists, he understood the spirit of the +Renaissance, he understood everything. The scene of one of his earlier +novels was laid in Borne, the scene of another in Florence, and I moved +through these cities in company with the figures whom Mark Ambient had +set so vividly upon their feet. This is why I was now so much happier +even than before in the prospect of making his acquaintance. + +At last, when I had dallied with this privilege long enough, I +despatched to him the missive of the American poet He had already gone +out of town; he shrank from the rigor of the London "season" and it was +his habit to migrate on the first of June. Moreover, I had heard that +this year he was hard at work on a new book, into which some of his +impressions of the East were to be wrought, so that he desired nothing +so much as quiet days. This knowledge, however, did not prevent me--_cet +age est sans pitie_--from sending with my friend's letter a note of my +own, in which I asked Mr. Ambient's leave to come down and see him for +an hour or two, on a day to be designated by himself. My proposal was +accompanied with a very frank expression of my sentiments, and the +effect of the whole projectile was to elicit from the great man the +kindest possible invitation. He would be delighted to see me, especially +if I should turn up on the following Saturday and would remain till +the Monday morning. We would take a walk over the Surrey commons, and +I could tell him all about the other great man, the one in America. He +indicated to me the best train, and it may be imagined whether on +the Saturday afternoon I was punctual at Waterloo. He carried his +benevolence to the point of coming to meet me at the little station at +which I was to alight, and my heart beat very fast as I saw his +handsome face, surmounted with a soft wide-awake, and which I knew by +a photograph long since enshrined upon my mantelshelf, scanning the +carriage windows as the train rolled up. He recognized me as infallibly +as I had recognized him; he appeared to know by instinct how a young +American of an aesthetic turn would look when much divided between +eagerness and modesty. He took me by the hand, and smiled at me, and +said: "You must be--a--_you_, I think!" and asked if I should mind going +on foot to his house, which would take but a few minutes. I remember +thinking it a piece of extraordinary affability that he should give +directions about the conveyance of my bag, and feeling altogether very +happy and rosy, in fact quite transported, when he laid his hand on my +shoulder as we came out of the station. + +I surveyed him, askance, as we walked together; I had already--I had +indeed instantly--seen that he was a delightful creature. His face is +so well known that I need n't describe it; he looked to me at once +an English gentleman and a man of genius, and I thought that a happy +combination. There was just a little of the Bohemian in his appearance; +you would easily have guessed that he belonged to the guild of artists +and men of letters. He was addicted to velvet jackets, to cigarettes, +to loose shirt-collars, to looking a little dishevelled. His features, +which were fine, but not perfectly regular, are fairly enough +represented in his portraits; but no portrait that I have seen gives any +idea of his expression. There were so many things in it, and they chased +each other in and out of his face. I have seen people who were grave and +gay in quick alternation; but Mark Ambient was grave and gay at one and +the same moment. There were other strange oppositions and contradictions +in his slightly faded and fatigued countenance. He seemed both young and +old, both anxious and indifferent. He had evidently had an active past, +which inspired one with curiosity, and yet it was impossible not to be +more curious still about his future. He was just enough above middle +height to be spoken of as tall, and rather lean and long in the flank. +He had the friendliest, frankest manner possible, and yet I could see +that he was shy. He was thirty-eight years old at the time _Beltraffio_ +was published. He asked me about his friend in America, about the length +of my stay in England, about the last news in London and the people I +had seen there; and I remember looking for the signs of genius in the +very form of his questions, and thinking I found it. I liked his voice. + +There was genius in his house, too, I thought, when we got there; there +was imagination in the carpets and curtains, in the pictures and books, +in the garden behind it, where certain old brown walls were muffled in +creepers that appeared to me to have been copied from a masterpiece of +one of the pre-Raphaelites. That was the way many things struck me at +that time, in England; as if they were reproductions of something that +existed primarily in art or literature. It was not the picture, the +poem, the fictive page, that seemed to me a copy; these things were the +originals, and the life of happy and distinguished people was fashioned +in their image. Mark Ambient called his house a cottage, and I perceived +afterwards that he was right; for if it had not been a cottage it must +have been a villa, and a villa, in England at least, was not a place in +which one could fancy him at home. But it was, to my vision, a cottage +glorified and translated; it was a palace of art, on a slightly reduced +scale,--it was an old English demesne. It nestled under a cluster of +magnificent beeches, it had little creaking lattices that opened out of, +or into, pendent mats of ivy, and gables, and old red tiles, as well +as a general aspect of being painted in water-colors and inhabited by +people whose lives would go on in chapters and volumes. The lawn seemed +to me of extraordinary extent, the garden-walls of incalculable height, +the whole air of the place delightfully still, private, proper to +itself. "My wife must be somewhere about," Mark Ambient said, as we went +in. "We shall find her perhaps; we have got about an hour before dinner. +She may be in the garden. I will show you my little place." + +We passed through the house, and into the grounds, as I should have +called them, which extended into the rear. They covered but three or +four acres, but, like the house, they were very old and crooked, and +full of traces of long habitation, with inequalities of level and little +steps--mossy and cracked were these--which connected the different parts +with each other. The limits of the place, cleverly dissimulated, were +muffled in the deepest verdure. They made, as I remember, a kind of +curtain at the further end, in one of the folds of which, as it were, +we presently perceived, from afar, a little group. "Ah, there she is!" +said Mark Ambient; "and she has got the boy." He made this last remark +in a slightly different tone from any in which he yet had spoken. I +was not fully aware of it at the time, but it lingered in my ear and I +afterwards understood it. + +"Is it your son?" I inquired, feeling the question not to be brilliant. + +"Yes, my only child. He's always in his mother's pocket She coddles him +too much." It came back to me afterwards, too--the manner in which +he spoke these words. They were not petulant; they expressed rather a +sudden coldness, a kind of mechanical submission. We went a few steps +further, and then he stopped short and called the boy, beckoning to him +repeatedly. + +"Dolcino, come and see your daddy!" There was something in the way he +stood still and waited that made me think he did it for a purpose. Mrs. +Ambient had her arm round the child's waist, and he was leaning against +her knee; but though he looked up at the sound of his father's voice, +she gave no sign of releasing him. A lady, apparently a neighbor, +was seated near her, and before them was a garden-table, on which a +tea-service had been placed. + +Mark Ambient called again, and Dolcino struggled in the maternal +embrace, but he was too tightly held, and after two or three fruitless +efforts he suddenly turned round and buried his head deep in his +mother's lap. There was a certain awkwardness in the scene; I thought +it rather odd that Mrs. Ambient should pay so little attention to her +husband. But I would not for the world have betrayed my thought, and, to +conceal it, I observed that it must be such a pleasant thing to have tea +in the garden. "Ah, she won't let him come!" said Mark Ambient, with a +sigh; and we went our way 'till we reached the two ladies. He mentioned +my name to his wife, and I noticed that he addressed her as "My dear," +very genially, without any trace of resentment at her detention of +the child. The quickness of the transition made me vaguely ask myself +whether he were henpecked,--a shocking conjecture, which I instantly +dismissed. Mrs. Ambient was quite such a wife as I should have expected +him to have; slim and fair, with a long neck and pretty eyes and an air +of great refinement. She was a little cold, and a little shy; but she +was very sweet, and she had a certain look of race, justified by my +afterwards learning that she was "connected" with two or three great +families. I have seen poets married to women of whom it was difficult +to conceive that they should gratify the poetic fancy,--women with dull +faces and glutinous minds, who were none the less, however, excellent +wives. But there was no obvious incongruity in Mark Ambient's union. +Mrs. Ambient, delicate and quiet, in a white dress, with her beautiful +child at her side, was worthy of the author of a work so distinguished +as _Beltraffio_. Bound her neck she wore a black velvet ribbon, of which +the long ends, tied behind, hung down her back, and to which, in front, +was attached a miniature portrait of her little boy. Her smooth, shining +hair was confined in a net She gave me a very pleasant greeting, and +Dolcino--I thought this little name of endearment delightful--took +advantage of her getting up to slip away from her and go to his father, +who said nothing to him, but simply seized him and held him high in his +arms for a moment, kissing him several times. + +I had lost no time in observing that the child, who was not more than +seven years old, was extraordinarily beautiful He had the face of an +angel,--the eyes, the hair, the more than mortal bloom, the smile of +innocence. There was something touching, almost alarming, in his beauty, +which seemed to be composed of elements too fine and pure for the breath +of this world. When I spoke to him, and he came and held out his hand +and smiled at me, I felt a sudden pity for him, as if he had been an +orphan, or a changeling, or stamped with some social stigma. It was +impossible to be, in fact, more exempt from these misfortunes, and +yet, as one kissed him, it was hard to keep from murmuring "Poor little +devil!" though why one should have applied this epithet to a living +cherub is more than I can say. Afterwards, indeed, I knew a little +better; I simply discovered that he was too charming to live, wondering +at the same time that his parents should not have perceived it, and +should not be in proportionate grief and despair. For myself, I had no +doubt of his evanescence, having already noticed that there is a kind of +charm which is like a death-warrant. + +The lady who had been sitting with Mrs. Ambient was a jolly, ruddy +personage, dressed in velveteen and rather limp feathers, whom I guessed +to be the vicar's wife,--our hostess did not introduce me,--and who +immediately began to talk to Ambient about chrysanthemums. This was a +safe subject, and yet there was a certain surprise for me in seeing +the author of _Beltraffio_ even in such superficial communion with the +Church of England. His writings implied so much detachment from that +institution, expressed a view of life so profane, as it were, so +independent, and so little likely, in general, to be thought edifying, +that I should have expected to find him an object of horror to vicars +and their ladies--of horror repaid on his own part by good-natured but +brilliant mockery. This proves how little I knew as yet of the English +people and their extraordinary talent for keeping up their forms, as +well as of some of the mysteries of Mark Ambient's hearth and home. +I found afterwards that he had, in his study, between smiles and +cigar-smoke, some wonderful comparisons for his clerical neighbors; but +meanwhile the chrysanthemums were a source of harmony, for he and the +vicaress were equally fond of them, and I was surprised at the knowledge +they exhibited of this interesting plant. The lady's visit, however, had +presumably already been long, and she presently got up, saying she must +go, and kissed Mrs. Ambient Mark started to walk with her to the gate of +the grounds, holding Dolcino by the hand. + +"Stay with me, my darling," Mrs. Ambient said to the boy, who was +wandering away with his father. + +Mark Ambient paid no attention to the summons, but Dolcino turned round +and looked with eyes of shy entreaty at his mother. "Can't I go with +papa?" + +"Not when I ask you to stay with me." + +"But please don't ask me, mamma," said the child, in his little clear, +new voice. + +"I must ask you when I want you. Come to me, my darling." And Mrs. +Ambient, who had seated herself again, held out her long, slender hands. + +Her husband stopped, with his back turned to her, but without releasing +the child. He was still talking to the vicaress, but this good lady, I +think, had lost the thread of her attention. She looked at Mrs. Ambient +and at Dolcino, and then she looked at me, smiling very hard, in an +extremely fixed, cheerful manner. + +"Papa," said the child, "mamma wants me not to go with you." + +"He's very tired--he has run about all day. He ought to be quiet till +he goes to bed. Otherwise he won't sleep." These declarations fell +successively and gravely from Mrs. Ambient's lips. + +Her husband, still without turning round, bent over the boy and looked +at him in silence. The vicaress gave a genial, irrelevant laugh, and +observed that he was a precious little pet "Let him choose," said Mark +Ambient. "My dear little boy, will you go with me or will you stay with +your mother?" + +"Oh, it's a shame!" cried the vicar's lady, with increased hilarity. + +"Papa, I don't think I can choose," the child answered, making his voice +very low and confidential. "But I have been a great deal with mamma +to-day," he added in a moment. + +"And very little with papa! My dear fellow, I think you have chosen!" +And Mark Ambient walked off with his son, accompanied by re-echoing but +inarticulate comments from my fellow-visitor. + +His wife had seated herself again, and her fixed eyes, bent upon the +ground, expressed for a few moments so much mute agitation that I felt +as if almost any remark from my own lips would be a false note. But Mrs. +Ambient quickly recovered herself, and said to me civilly enough +that she hoped I did n't mind having had to walk from the station. I +reassured her on this point, and she went on, "We have got a thing that +might have gone for you, but my husband wouldn't order it." + +"That gave me the pleasure of a walk with him," I rejoined. + +She was silent a minute, and then she said, "I believe the Americans +walk very little." + +"Yes, we always run," I answered laughingly. + +She looked at me seriously, and I began to perceive a certain coldness +in her pretty eyes. "I suppose your distances are so great?" + +"Yes; but we break our marches I I can't tell you what a pleasure it is +for me to find myself here," I added. "I have the greatest admiration +for Mr. Ambient." + +"He will like that. He likes being admired." + +"He must have a very happy life, then. He has many worshippers." + +"Oh, yes, I have seen some of them," said Mrs. Ambient, looking away, +very far from me, rather as if such a vision were before her at the +moment Something in her tone seemed to indicate that the vision was +scarcely edifying, and I guessed very quickly that she was not in +sympathy with the author of _Beltraffio_. I thought the fact strange, +but, somehow, in the glow of my own enthusiasm, I did n't think it +important; it only made me wish to be rather explicit about that +enthusiasm. + +"For me, you know," I remarked, "he is quite the greatest of living +writers." + +"Of course I can't judge. Of course he's very clever," said Mrs. +Ambient, smiling a little. + +"He's magnificent, Mrs. Ambient! There are pages in each of his books +that have a perfection that classes them with the greatest things. +Therefore, for me to see him in this familiar way,--in his habit as he +lives,--and to find, apparently, the man as delightful as the artist, +I can't tell you how much too good to be true it seems, and how great a +privilege I think it." I knew that I was gushing, but I could n't help +it, and what I said was a good deal less than what I felt. I was by no +means sure that I should dare to say even so much as this to Ambient +himself, and there was a kind of rapture in speaking it out to his +wife which was not affected by the fact that, as a wife, she appeared +peculiar. She listened to me with her face grave again, and with her +lips a little compressed, as if there were no doubt, of course, that +her husband was remarkable, but at the same time she had heard all this +before and couldn't be expected to be particularly interested in it. +There was even in her manner an intimation that I was rather young, and +that people usually got over that sort of thing. "I assure you that for +me this is a red-letter day," I added. + +She made no response, until after a pause, looking round her, she said +abruptly, though gently, "We are very much afraid about the fruit this +year." + +My eyes wandered to the mossy, mottled, garden walls, where plum-trees +and pear-trees, flattened and fastened upon the rusty bricks, looked +like crucified figures with many arms. "Does n't it promise well?" I +inquired. + +"No, the trees look very dull. We had such late frosts." + +Then there was another pause. Mrs. Ambient kept her eyes fixed on the +opposite end of the grounds, as if she were watching for her husband's +return with the child. "Is Mr. Ambient fond of gardening?" it occurred +to me to inquire, irresistibly impelled as I felt myself, moreover, to +bring the conversation constantly back to him. + +"He's very fond of plums," said his wife. + +"Ah, well then, I hope your crop will be better than you fear. It's a +lovely old place," I continued. "The whole character of it is that +of certain places that he describes. Your house is like one of his +pictures." + +"It's a pleasant little place. There are hundreds like it" + +"Oh, it has got his tone," I said, laughing, and insisting on my point +the more that Mrs. Ambient appeared to see in my appreciation of her +simple establishment a sign of limited experience. + +It was evident that I insisted too much. "His tone?" she repeated, with +a quick look at me, and a slightly heightened color. + +"Surely he has a tone, Mrs. Ambient" + +"Oh, yes, he has indeed! But I don't in the least consider that I am +living in one of his books; I should n't care for that, at all," she +went on, with a smile which had in some degree the effect of converting +her slightly sharp protest into a joke deficient in point "I am afraid I +am not very literary," said Mrs. Ambient. "And I am not artistic." + +"I am very sure you are not ignorant, not stupid," I ventured to reply, +with the accompaniment of feeling immediately afterwards that I had been +both familiar and patronizing. My only consolation was in the reflection +that it was she, and not I, who had begun it She had brought her +idiosyncrasies into the discussion. + +"Well, whatever I am, I am very different from my husband. If you like +him, you won't like me. You need n't say anything. Your liking me is n't +in the least necessary!" + +"Don't defy me!" I exclaimed. + +She looked as if she had not heard me, which was the best thing she +could do; and we sat some time without further speech. Mrs. Ambient +had evidently the enviable English quality of being able to be silent +without being restless. But at last she spoke; she asked me if there +seemed to be many people in town. I gave her what satisfaction I could +on this point, and we talked a little about London and of some pictures +it presented at that time of the year. At the end of this I came back, +irrepressibly, to Mark Ambient. + +"Does n't he like to be there now? I suppose he does n't find the proper +quiet for his work. I should think his things had been written, for +the most part, in a very still place. They suggest a great stillness, +following on a kind of tumult. Don't you think so? I suppose London is a +tremendous place to collect impressions, but a refuge like this, in the +country, must be much better for working them up. Does he get many of +his impressions in London, do you think?" I proceeded from point to point +in this malign inquiry, simply because my hostess, who probably thought +me a very pushing and talkative young man, gave me time; for when I +paused--I have not represented my pauses--she simply continued to +let her eyes wander, and, with her long fair fingers, played with the +medallion on her neck. When I stopped altogether, however, she was +obliged to say something, and what she said was that she had not the +least idea where her husband got his impressions. This made me think +her, for a moment, positively disagreeable; delicate and proper and +rather aristocratically dry as she sat there. But I must either have +lost the impression a moment later, or been goaded by it to further +aggression, for I remember asking her whether Mr. Ambient were in a good +vein of work, and when we might look for the appearance of the book on +which he was engaged. I have every reason now to know that she thought +me an odious person. + +She gave a strange, small laugh as she said, "I am afraid you think I +know a great deal more about my husband's work than I do. I haven't +the least idea what he is doing," she added presently, in a slightly +different, that is a more explanatory, tone, as if she recognized +in some degree the enormity of her confession. "I don't read what he +writes!" + +She did not succeed (and would not, even had she tried much harder) in +making it seem to me anything less than monstrous. I stared at her, +and I think I blushed. "Don't you admire his genius? Don't you admire +_Beltraffio?_" + +She hesitated a moment, and I wondered what she could possibly say. She +did not speak--I could see--the first words that rose to her lips; she +repeated what she had said a few minutes before. "Oh, of course he 's +very clever!" And with this she got up; her husband and little boy had +reappeared. Mrs. Ambient left me and went to meet them; she stopped and +had a few words with her husband, which I did not hear, and which ended +in her taking the child by the hand and returning to the house with him. +Her husband joined me in a moment, looking, I thought, the least bit +conscious and constrained, and said that if I would come in with him he +would show me my room. In looking back upon these first moments of my +visit to him, I find it important to avoid the error of appearing to +have understood his situation from the first, and to have seen in him +the signs of things which I learnt only afterwards. This later knowledge +throws a backward light, and makes me forget that at least on the +occasion of which I am speaking now (I mean that first afternoon), Mark +Ambient struck me as a fortunate man. Allowing for this, I think he was +rather silent and irresponsive as we walked back to the house, though I +remember well the answer he made to a remark of mine in relation to his +child. + +"That's an extraordinary little boy of yours," I said. "I have never +seen such a child." + +"Why do you call him extraordinary?" + +"He's so beautiful, so fascinating. He's like a little work of art." + +He turned quickly, grasping my arm an instant. "Oh, don't call him that, +or you 'll--you 'll--!" + +And in his hesitation he broke off suddenly, laughing at my surprise. +But immediately afterwards he added, "You will make his little future +very difficult." + +I declared that I wouldn't for the world take any liberties with his +little future--it seemed to me to hang by threads of such delicacy. I +should only be highly interested in watching it. + +"You Americans are very sharp," said Ambient "You notice more things +than we do." + +"Ah, if you want visitors who are not struck with you, you should n't +ask me down here!" + +He showed me my room, a little bower of chintz, with open windows where +the light was green, and before he left me he said irrelevantly, "As for +my little boy, you know, we shall probably kill him between us, before +wo have done with him!" And he made this assertion as if he +really believed it, without any appearance of jest, with his fine, +near-sighted, expressive eyes looking straight into mine. + +"Do you mean by spoiling him?" + +"No; by fighting for him!" + +"You had better give him to me to keep for you," I said. "Let me remove +the apple of discord." + +I laughed, of course, but he had the air of being perfectly serious. +"It would be quite the best thing we could do. I should be quite ready +to do it." + +"I am greatly obliged to you for your confidence." + +Mark Ambient lingered there, with his hands in his pockets. I felt, +within a few moments, as if I had, morally speaking, taken several +steps nearer to him. He looked weary, just as he faced me then, looked +preoccupied, and as if there were something one might do for him. I was +terribly conscious of the limits of my own ability, but I wondered what +such a service might be, feeling at bottom, however, that the only thing +I could do for him was to like him. I suppose he guessed this, and was +grateful for what was in my mind; for he went on presently, "I have n't +the advantage of being an American. But I also notice a little, and I +have an idea that--a--" here he smiled and laid his hand on my shoulder, +"that even apart from your nationality, you are not destitute of +intelligence! I have only known you half an hour, but--a--" And here he +hesitated again. "You are very young, after all." + +"But you may treat me as if I could understand you!" I said; and before +he left me to dress for dinner he had virtually given me a promise that +he would. + +When I went down into the drawing-room--I was very punctual--I found +that neither my hostess nor my host had appeared. A lady rose from a +sofa, however, and inclined her head as I rather surprisedly gazed at +her. "I dare say you don't know me," she said, with the modern laugh. +"I am Mark Ambient's sister." Whereupon I shook hands with her, saluting +her very low. Her laugh was modern--by which I mean that it consisted +of the vocal agitation which, between people who meet in drawing-rooms, +serves as the solvent of social mysteries, the medium of transitions; +but her appearance was--what shall I call it?--mediaeval. She was pale +and angular, with a long, thin face, inhabited by sad, dark eyes, and +black hair intertwined with golden fillets and curious chains. She wore +a faded velvet robe, which clung to her when she moved, fashioned, as +to the neck and sleeves, like the garments of old Venetians and +Florentines. She looked pictorial and melancholy, and was so perfect an +image of a type which I, in my ignorance, supposed to be extinct, that +while she rose before me I was almost as much startled as if I had seen +a ghost. I afterwards perceived that Miss Ambient was not incapable +of deriving pleasure from the effect she produced, and I think this +sentiment had something to do with her sinking again into her seat, with +her long, lean, but not ungraceful arms locked together in an archaic +manner on her knees, and her mournful eyes addressing themselves to +me with an intentness which was a menace of what they were destined +subsequently to inflict upon me. She was a singular, self-conscious, +artificial creature, and I never, subsequently, more than half +penetrated her motives and, mysteries. Of one thing I am sure, however: +that they were considerably less extraordinary than her appearance +announced. Miss Ambient was a restless, disappointed, imaginative +spinster, consumed with the love of Michael-Angelesque attitudes and +mystical robes; but I am pretty sure she had not in her nature those +depths of unutterable thought which, when you first knew her, seemed +to look out from her eyes and to prompt her complicated gestures. Those +features, in especial, had a misleading eloquence; they rested upon +you with a far-off dimness, an air of obstructed sympathy, which was +certainly not always a key to the spirit of their owner; and I +suspect that a young lady could not really have been so dejected and +disillusioned as Miss Ambient looked, without having committed a crime +for which she was consumed with remorse, or parted with a hope which +she could not sanely have entertained. She had, I believe, the usual +allowance of vulgar impulses: she wished to be looked at, she wished to +be married, she wished to be thought original. It costs me something to +speak in this irreverent manner of Mark Ambient's sister, but I shall +have still more disagreeable things to say before I have finished my +little anecdote, and moreover,--I confess it,--I owe the young lady a +sort of grudge. Putting aside the curious cast of her face, she had +no natural aptitude for an artistic development,--she had little real +intelligence. But her affectations rubbed off on her brother's renown, +and as there were plenty of people who disapproved of him totally, they +could easily point to his sister as a person formed by his influence. It +was quite possible to regard her as a warning, and she had done him but +little good with the world at large. He was the original, and she +was the inevitable imitation. I think he was scarcely aware of the +impression she produced, beyond having a general idea that she made +up very well as a Rossetti; he was used to her, and he was sorry for +her,--wishing she would marry and observing that she did n't Doubtless I +take her too seriously, for she did me no harm, though I am bound to add +that I feel I can only half account for her. She was not so mystical as +she looked, but she was a strange, indirect, uncomfortable, embarrassing +woman. My story will give the reader at best so very small a knot to +untie that I need not hope to excite his curiosity by delaying to +remark that Mrs. Ambient hated her sister-in-law. This I only found +out afterwards, when I found out some other things. But I mention it at +once, for I shall perhaps not seem to count too much on having enlisted +the imagination of the reader if I say that he will already have guessed +it Mrs. Ambient was a person of conscience, and she endeavored to behave +properly to her kinswoman, who spent a month with her twice a year; but +it required no great insight to discover that the two ladies were made +of a very different paste, and that the usual feminine hypocrisies must +have cost them, on either side, much more than the usual effort. Mrs. +Ambient, smooth-haired, thin-lipped, perpetually fresh, must have +regarded her crumpled and dishevelled visitor as a very stale joke; she +herself was not a Rossetti, but a Gainsborough or a Lawrence, and she +had in her appearance no elements more romantic than a cold, ladylike +candor, and a well-starched muslin dress. + +It was in a garment, and with an expression, of this kind, that she made +her entrance, after I had exchanged a few words with Miss Ambient. Her +husband presently followed her, and there being no other company we went +to dinner. The impression I received from that repast is present to me +still. There were elements of oddity in my companions, but they were +vague and latent, and did n't interfere with my delight It came mainly, +of course, from Ambient's talk, which was the most brilliant and +interesting I had ever heard. I know not whether he laid himself out +to dazzle a rather juvenile pilgrim from over the sea; but it matters +little, for it was very easy for him to shine. He was almost better as +a talker than as a writer; that is, if the extraordinary finish of his +written prose be really, as some people have maintained, a fault. There +was such a kindness in him, however, that I have no doubt it gave him +ideas to see me sit open-mouthed, as I suppose I did. Not so the two +ladies, who not only were very nearly dumb from beginning to the end +of the meal, but who had not the air of being struck with such an +exhibition of wit and knowledge. Mrs. Ambient, placid and detached, met +neither my eye nor her husband's; she attended to her dinner, watched +the servants, arranged the puckers in her dress, exchanged at wide +intervals a remark with her sister-in-law, and while she slowly rubbed +her white hands between the courses, looked out of the window at the +first signs of twilight--the long June day allowing us to dine without +candles.. Miss Ambient appeared to give little direct heed to her +brother's discourse; but on the other hand she was much engaged in +watching its effect upon me. Her lustreless pupils continued to attach +themselves to my countenance, and it was only her air of belonging to +another century that kept them from being importunate. She seemed to +look at me across the ages, and the interval of time diminished the +vividness of the performance. It was as if she knew in a general way +that her brother must be talking very well, but she herself was so rich +in ideas that she had no need to pick them up, and was at liberty to see +what would become of a young American when subjected to a high aesthetic +temperature. + +The temperature was aesthetic, certainly, but it was less so than I could +have desired, for I was unsuccessful in certain little attempts to make +Mark Ambient talk about himself I tried to put him on the ground of his +own writings, but he slipped through my fingers every time and shifted +the saddle to one of his contemporaries. He talked about Balzac and +Browning, and what was being done in foreign countries, and about his +recent tour in the East, and the extraordinary forms of life that one +saw in that part of the world. I perceived that he had reasons for not +wishing to descant upon literature, and suffered him without protest +to deliver himself on certain social topics, which he treated with +extraordinary humor and with constant revelations of that power of +ironical portraiture of which his books are full. He had a great deal +to say about London, as London appears to the observer who does n't fear +the accusation of cynicism, during the high-pressure time--from April +to July--of its peculiarities. He flashed his faculty of making the +fanciful real and the real fanciful over the perfunctory pleasures and +desperate exertions of so many of his compatriots, among whom there were +evidently not a few types for which he had little love. London bored him, +and he made capital sport of it; his only allusion, that I can remember, +to his own work was his saying that he meant some day to write an +immense grotesque epic of London society. Miss Ambient's perpetual gaze +seemed to say to me: "Do you perceive how artistic we are? Frankly now, +is it possible to be more artistic than this? You surely won't deny that +we are remarkable." I was irritated by her use of the plural pronoun, +for she had no right to pair herself with her brother; and moreover, of +course, I could not see my way to include Mrs. Ambient. But there was +no doubt that, for that matter, they were all remarkable, and, with +all allowances, I had never heard anything so artistic. Mark Ambient's +conversation seemed to play over the whole field of knowledge and taste, +and to flood it with light and color. + +After the ladies had left us he took me into his study to smoke, and +here I led him on to talk freely enough about himself. I was bent upon +proving to him that I was worthy to listen to him, upon repaying him +for what he had said to me before dinner, by showing him how perfectly +I understood. He liked to talk; he liked to defend his ideas (not that +I attacked them); he liked a little perhaps--it was a pardonable +weakness--to astonish the youthful mind and to feel its admiration +and sympathy. I confess that my own youthful mind was considerably +astonished at some of his speeches; he startled me and he made me wince. +He could not help forgetting, or rather he could n't know, how little +personal contact I had had with the school in which he was master; and +he promoted me at a jump, as it were, to the study of its innermost +mysteries. My trepidations, however, were delightful; they were just +what I had hoped for, and their only fault was that they passed away too +quickly; for I found that, as regards most things, I very soon seized +Mark Ambient's point of view. It was the point of view of the artist to +whom every manifestation of human energy was a thrilling spectacle, and +who felt forever the desire to resolve his experience of life into a +literary form. On this matter of the passion for form,--the attempt at +perfection, the quest for which was to his mind the real search for the +holy grail,--he said the most interesting, the most inspiring things. He +mixed with them a thousand illustrations from his own life, from other +lives that he had known, from history and fiction, and above all from +the annals of the time that was dear to him beyond all periods,--the +Italian _cinque-cento_. I saw that in his books he had only said half +of his thought, and what he had kept back--from motives that I deplored +when I learnt them later--was the richer part It was his fortune to +shock a great many people, but there was not a grain of bravado in his +pages (I have always maintained it, though often contradicted), and at +bottom the poor fellow, an artist to his fingertips, and regarding a +failure of completeness as a crime, had an extreme dread of scandal. +There are people who regret that having gone so far he did not go +further; but I regret nothing (putting aside two or three of the motives +I just mentioned), for he arrived at perfection, and I don't see how you +can go beyond that The hours I spent in his study--this first one and +the few that followed it; they were not, after all, so numerous--seem +to glow, as I look back on them, with a tone which is partly that of +the brown old room, rich, under the shaded candlelight where we sat and +smoked, with the dusky, delicate bindings of valuable books; partly that +of his voice, of which I still catch the echo, charged with the images +that came at his command. When we went back to the drawing-room we found +Miss Ambient alone in possession of it; and she informed us that her +sister-in-law had a quarter of an hour before been called by the nurse +to see Dolcino, who appeared to be a little feverish. + +"Feverish! how in the world does he come to be feverish?" Ambient asked. +"He was perfectly well this afternoon." + +"Beatrice says you walked him about too much--you almost killed him." + +"Beatrice must be very happy--she has an opportunity to triumph!" Mark +Ambient said, with a laugh of which the bitterness was just perceptible. + +"Surely not if the child is ill," I ventured to remark, by way of +pleading for Mrs. Ambient. + +"My dear fellow, you are not married--you don't know the nature of +wives!" my host exclaimed. + +"Possibly not; but I know the nature of mothers." + +"Beatrice is perfect as a mother," said Miss Ambient, with a tremendous +sigh and her fingers interlaced on her embroidered knees. + +"I shall go up and see the child," her brother went on. "Do you suppose +he's asleep?" + +"Beatrice won't let you see him, Mark," said the young lady, looking at +me, though she addressed, our companion. + +"Do you call that being perfect as a mother?" Ambient inquired. + +"Yes, from her point of view." + +"Damn her point of view!" cried the author of _Beltraffio_. And he left +the room; after which we heard him ascend the stairs. + +I sat there for some ten minutes with Miss Ambient, and we naturally had +some conversation, which was begun, I think, by my asking her what the +point of view of her sister-in-law could be. + +"Oh, it's so very odd," she said. "But we are so very odd, altogether. +Don't you find us so? We have lived so much abroad. Have you people like +us in America?" + +"You are not all alike, surely; so that I don't think I understand your +question. We have no one like your brother--I may go so far as that." + +"You have probably more persons like his wife," said Miss Ambient, +smiling. + +"I can tell you that better when you have told me about her point of +view." + +"Oh, yes--oh, yes. Well, she does n't like his ideas. She doesn't like +them for the child. She thinks them undesirable." + +Being quite fresh from the contemplation of some of Mark Ambient's +_arcana_, I was particularly in a position to appreciate this +announcement. But the effect of it was to make me, after staring a +moment, burst into laughter, which I instantly checked when I remembered +that there was a sick child above. + +"What has that infant to do with ideas?" I asked "Surely, he can't tell +one from another. Has he read his father's novels?" + +"He's very precocious and very sensitive, and his mother thinks she +can't begin to guard him too early." Miss Ambient's head drooped a +little to one side, and her eyes fixed themselves on futurity. Then +suddenly there was a strange alteration in her face; she gave a smile +that was more joyless than her gravity--a conscious, insincere smile, +and added, "When one has children, it's a great responsibility--what one +writes." + +"Children are terrible critics," I answered. "I am rather glad I have +n't got any." + +"Do you also write then? And in the same style as my brother? And do you +like that style? And do people appreciate it in America? I don't write, +but I think I feel." To these and various other inquiries and remarks +the young lady treated me, till we heard her brother's step in the hall +again, and Mark Ambient reappeared. He looked flushed and serious, and I +supposed that he had seen something to alarm him in the condition of his +child. His sister apparently had another idea; she gazed at him a moment +as if he were a burning ship on the horizon, and simply murmured, "Poor +old Mark!" + +"I hope you are not anxious," I said. + +"No, but I 'm disappointed. She won't let me in. She has locked the +door, and I 'm afraid to make a noise." I suppose there might have been +something ridiculous in a confession of this kind, but I liked my new +friend so much that for me it did n't detract from his dignity. "She +tells me--from behind the door--that she will let me know if he is +worse." + +"It's very good of her," said Miss Ambient + +I had exchanged a glance with Mark in which it is possible that he read +that my pity for him was untinged with contempt, though I know not why +he should have cared; and as, presently, his sister got up and took her +bedroom candlestick, he proposed that we should go back to his study. We +sat there till after midnight; he put himself into his slippers, into an +old velvet jacket, lighted an ancient pipe, and talked considerably less +than he had done before. + +There were longish pauses in our communion, but they only made me feel +that we had advanced in intimacy. They helped me, too, to understand my +friend's personal situation, and to perceive that it was by no means the +happiest possible. When his face was quiet, it was vaguely troubled; it +seemed to me to show that for him, too, life was a struggle, as it has +been for many another man of genius. At last I prepared to leave him, +and then, to my ineffable joy, he gave me some of the sheets of his +forthcoming book,--it was not finished, but he had indulged in the +luxury, so dear to writers of deliberation, of having it "set up," from +chapter to chapter, as he advanced,--he gave me, I say, the early +pages, the _premices_, as the French have it, of this new fruit of his +imagination, to take to my room and look over at my leisure. I was just +quitting him when the door of his study was noiselessly pushed open, and +Mrs. Ambient stood before us. She looked at us a moment, with her candle +in her hand, and then she said to her husband that as she supposed he +had not gone to bed, she had come down to tell him that Dolcino was more +quiet and would probably be better in the morning. Mark Ambient made no +reply; he simply slipped past her in the doorway, as if he were afraid +she would seize him in his passage, and bounded upstairs, to judge +for himself of his child's condition. Mrs. Ambient looked slightly +discomfited, and for a moment I thought she was going to give chase +to her husband. But she resigned herself, with a sigh, while her eyes +wandered over the lamp-lit room, where various books, at which I had +been looking, were pulled out of their places on the shelves, and the +fumes of tobacco seemed to hang in mid-air. I bade her good-night, and +then, without intention, by a kind of fatality, the perversity which had +already made me insist unduly on talking with her about her husband's +achievements, I alluded to the precious proof-sheets with which Ambient +had intrusted me and which I was nursing there under my arm. "It is the +opening chapters of his new book," I said. "Fancy my satisfaction at +being allowed to carry them to my room!" + +She turned away, leaving me to take my candlestick from the table in the +hall; but before we separated, thinking it apparently a good occasion +to let me know once for all--since I was beginning, it would seem, to be +quite "thick" with my host--that there was no fitness in my appealing +to her for sympathy in such a case; before we separated, I say, she +remarked to me with her quick, round, well-bred utterance, "I dare say +you attribute to me ideas that I have n't got I don't take that sort +of interest in my husband's proof-sheets. I consider his writings most +objectionable!" + + + + +PART II. + +I had some curious conversation the next morning with Miss Ambient, whom +I found strolling in the garden before breakfast The whole place looked +as fresh and trim, amid the twitter of the birds, as if, an hour +before, the housemaids had been turned into it with their dustpans and +feather-brushes, I almost hesitated to light a cigarette, and was doubly +startled when, in the act of doing so, I suddenly perceived the +sister of my host, who had, in any case, something of the oddity of +an apparition, standing before me. She might have been posing for her +photograph. Her sad-colored robe arranged itself in serpentine folds at +her feet; her hands locked themselves listlessly together in front; and +her chin rested upon a cinque-cento ruff. The first thing I did, +after bidding her good-morning, was to ask her for news of her little +nephew,--to express the hope that she had heard he was better. She was +able to gratify this hope, and spoke as if we might expect to see him +during the day. We walked through the shrubberies together, and she gave +me a great deal of information about her brother's menage, which offered +me an opportunity to mention to her that his wife had told me, the night +before, that she thought his productions objectionable. + +"She does n't usually come out with that so soon!" Miss Ambient +exclaimed, in answer to this piece of gossip. "Poor lady, she saw that +I am a fanatic." "Yes, she won't like you for that. But you must n't +mind, if the rest of us like you! Beatrice thinks a work of art ought +to have a 'purpose.' But she's a charming woman--don't you think her +charming?--she's such a type of the lady." + +"She's very beautiful," I answered; while I reflected that though it +was true, apparently, that Mark Ambient was mismated, it was also +perceptible that his sister was perfidious. She told me that her +brother and his wife had no other difference but this one, that she +thought his writings immoral and his influence pernicious. It was a +fixed idea; she was afraid of these things for the child. I answered +that it was not a trifle--a woman's regarding her husband's mind as a +well of corruption, and she looked quite struck with the novelty of my +remark. "But there has n't been any of the sort of trouble that there so +often is among married people," she said. "I suppose you can judge for +yourself that Beatrice isn't at all--well, whatever they call it when a +woman misbehaves herself. And Mark does n't make love to other people, +either. I assure you he does n't! All the same, of course, from her +point of view, you know, she has a dread of my brother's influence on +the child--on the formation of his character, of his principles. It is +as if it were a subtle poison, or a contagion, or something that would +rub off on Dolcino when his father kisses him or holds him on his knee. +If she could, she would prevent Mark from ever touching him. Every one +knows it; visitors see it for themselves; so there is no harm in my +telling you. Isn't it excessively odd? It comes from Beatrice's being so +religious, and so tremendously moral, and all that and then, of course, +we must n't forget," my companion added, unexpectedly, "that some of +Mark's ideas are--well, really--rather queer!" + +I reflected, as we went into the house, where we found Ambient unfolding +the _Observer_ at the breakfast-table, that none of them were probably +quite so queer as his sister. Mrs. Ambient did not appear at breakfast, +being rather tired with her ministrations, during the night, to Dolcino. +Her husband mentioned, however, that she was hoping to go to church. I +afterwards learned that she did go, but I may as well announce without +delay that he and I did not accompany her. It was while the church-bell +was murmuring in the distance that the author of _Beltraffio_ led me +forth for the ramble he had spoken of in his note. I will not attempt to +say where we went, or to describe what we saw. We kept to the fields +and copses and commons, and breathed the same sweet air as the nibbling +donkeys and the browsing sheep, whose woolliness seemed to me, in those +early days of my acquaintance with English objects, but a part of the +general texture of the small, dense landscape, which looked as if the +harvest were gathered by the shears. Everything was full of expression +for Mark Ambient's visitor,--from the big, bandy-legged geese, whose +whiteness was a "note," amid all the tones of green, as they wandered +beside a neat little oval pool, the foreground of a thatched and +whitewashed inn, with a grassy approach and a pictorial sign,--from +these humble wayside animals to the crests of high woods which let a +gable or a pinnacle peep here and there, and looked, even at a distance, +like trees of good company, conscious of an individual profile. I +admired the hedgerows, I plucked the faint-hued heather, and I was +forever stopping to say how charming I thought the thread-like footpaths +across the fields, which wandered, in a diagonal of finer grain, from +one smooth stile to another. Mark Ambient was abundantly good-natured, +and was as much entertained with my observations as I was with the +literary allusions of the landscape. We sat and smoked upon stiles, +broaching paradoxes in the decent English air; we took short cuts across +a park or two, where the bracken was deep and my companion nodded to the +old woman at the gate; we skirted rank covers, which rustled here and +there as wo passed, and we stretched ourselves at last on a heathery +hillside, where, if the sun was not too hot, neither was the earth +too cold, and where the country lay beneath us in a rich blue mist. +Of course I had already told Ambient what I thought of his new novel, +having the previous night read every word of the opening chapters before +I went to bed. + +"I am not without hope of being able to make it my best," he said, as I +went back to the subject, while we turned up our heels to the sky. "At +least the people who dislike my prose--and there are a great many of +them, I believe--will dislike this work most" This was the first time I +had heard him allude to the people who couldn't read him,--a class which +is supposed always to sit heavy upon the consciousness of the man of +letters. A man organized for literature, as Mark Ambient was, +must certainly have had the normal proportion of sensitiveness, +of irritability; the artistic _ego_, capable in some cases of such +monstrous development, must have been, in his composition, sufficiently +erect and definite. I will not therefore go so far as to say that he +never thought of his detractors, or that he had any illusions with +regard to the number of his admirers (he could never so far have +deceived himself as to believe he was popular); but I may at least +affirm that adverse criticism, as I had occasion to perceive later, +ruffled him visibly but little, that he had an air of thinking it quite +natural he should be offensive to many minds, and that he very seldom +talked about the newspapers, which, by the way, were always very stupid +in regard to the author of _Beltraffio_. Of course he may have thought +about them--the newspapers--night and day; the only point I wish to make +is that he did n't show it; while, at the same time, he did n't strike +one as a man who was on his guard. I may add that, as regards his hope +of making the work on which he was then engaged the best of his books, +it was only partly carried out. That place belongs, incontestably, to +_Beltraffio_, in spite of the beauty of certain parts of its successor. +I am pretty sure, however, that he had, at the moment of which I speak, +no sense of failure; he was in love with his idea, which was indeed +magnificent, and though for him, as, I suppose, for every artist, the +act of execution had in it as much torment as joy, he saw his work +growing a little every day and filling-out the largest plan he had yet +conceived. "I want to be truer than I have ever been," he said, settling +himself on his back, with his hands clasped behind his head; "I want to +give an impression of life itself. No, you may say what you will, I have +always arranged things too much, always smoothed them down and rounded +them off and tucked them in,--done everything to them that life does n't +do. I have been a slave to the old superstitions." + +"You a slave, my dear Mark Ambient? You have the freest imagination of +our day!" + +"All the more shame to me to have done some of the things I have! The +reconciliation of the two women in _Ginistrella_, for instance, which +could never really have taken place. That sort of thing is ignoble; +I blush when I think of it! This new affair must be a golden vessel, +filled with the purest distillation of the actual; and oh, how it +bothers me, the shaping of the vase--the hammering of the metal! I have +to hammer it so fine, so smooth; I don't do more than an inch or two a +day. And all the while I have to be so careful not to let a drop of the +liquor escape! When I see the kind of things that Life does, I despair +of ever catching her peculiar trick. She has an impudence, life! If one +risked a fiftieth part of the effects she risks! It takes ever so long +to believe it. You don't know yet, my dear fellow. It is n't till one +has been watching life for forty years that one finds out half of what +she's up to! Therefore one's earlier things must inevitably contain a +mass of rot. And with what one sees, on one side, with its tongue in its +cheek, defying one to be real enough, and on the other the _bonnes gens_ +rolling up their eyes at one's cynicism, the situation has elements of +the ludicrous which the artist himself is doubtless in a position to +appreciate better than any one else. Of course one mustn't bother about +the _bonnes gens_." Mark Ambient went on, while my thoughts reverted to +his ladylike wife, as interpreted by his remarkable sister. + +"To sink your shaft deep, and polish the plate through which people look +into it--that's what your work consists of," I remember remarking. + +"Ah, polishing one's plate--that is the torment of execution!" he +exclaimed, jerking himself up and sitting forward. "The effort to arrive +at a surface--if you think a surface necessary--some people don't, +happily for them! My dear fellow, if you could see the surface I dream +of, as compared with the one with which I have to content myself. Life +is really too short for art--one hasn't time to make one's shell ideally +hard. Firm and bright--firm and bright!--the devilish thing has a way, +sometimes, of being bright without being firm. When I rap it with my +knuckles it doesn't give the right sound. There are horrible little +flabby spots where I have taken the second-best word, because I could +n't for the life of me think of the best. If you knew how stupid I am +sometimes! They look to me now like pimples and ulcers on the brow of +beauty!" + +"That's very bad--very bad," I said, as gravely as I could. + +"Very bad? It's the highest social offence I know; it ought--it +absolutely ought--I'm quite serious--to be capital If I knew I should be +hanged else, I should manage to find the best word. The people who +could n't--some of them don't know it when they see it--would shut their +inkstands, and we should n't be deluged by this flood of rubbish!" + +I will not attempt to repeat everything that passed between us, or to +explain just how it was that, every moment I spent in his company, Mark +Ambient revealed to me more and more that he looked at all things from +the standpoint of the artist, felt all life as literary material There +are people who will tell me that this is a poor way of feeling it, and +I am not concerned to defend my statement, having space merely to remark +that there is something to be said for any interest which makes a man +feel so much. If Mark Ambient did really, as I suggested above, have +imaginative contact with "all life," I, for my part, envy him his +_arriere-pensee_. At any rate it was through the receipt of this +impression of him that by the time we returned I had acquired the +feeling of intimacy I have noted. Before we got up for the homeward +stretch, he alluded to his wife's having once--or perhaps more than +once--asked him whether he should like Dolcino to read _Beltraffio_. +I think he was unconscious at the moment of all that this conveyed to +me--as well, doubtless, of my extreme curiosity to hear what he had +replied. He had said that he hoped very much Dolcino would read all his +works--when he was twenty; he should like him to know what his father +had done. Before twenty it would be useless; he would n't understand +them. + +"And meanwhile do you propose to hide them,--to lock them up in a +drawer?" Mrs. Ambient had inquired. + +"Oh, no; we must simply tell him that they are not intended for small +boys. If you bring him up properly, after that he won t touch them." + +To this Mrs. Ambient had made answer that it would be very awkward when +he was about fifteen; and I asked her husband if it was his opinion in +general, then, that young people should not read novels. + +"Good ones--certainly not!" said my companion. I suppose I had had other +views, for I remember saying that, for myself, I was not sure it was bad +for them, if the novels were "good" enough. "Bad for _them_, I don't say +so much!" Ambient exclaimed. "But very bad, I am afraid, for the novel!" +That oblique, accidental allusion to his wife's attitude was followed by +a franker style of reference as we walked home. "The difference between +us is simply the opposition between two distinct ways of looking at the +world, which have never succeeded in getting on together, or making any +kind of common menage, since the beginning of time. They have borne all +sorts of names, and my wife would tell you it's the difference between +Christian and Pagan. I may be a pagan, but I don't like the name; it +sounds sectarian. She thinks me, at any rate, no better than an ancient +Greek. It's the difference between making the most of life and making +the least, so that you 'll get another better one in some other time and +place. Will it be a sin to make the most of that one too, I wonder; and +shall we have to be bribed off in the future state, as well as in the +present? Perhaps I care too much for beauty--I don't know; I delight +in it, I adore it, I think of it continually, I try to produce it, to +reproduce it. My wife holds that we shouldn't think too much about it +She's always afraid of that, always on her guard. I don't know what she +has got on her back! And she's so pretty, too, herself! Don't you think +she's lovely? She was, at any rate, when I married her. At that time I +was n't aware of that difference I speak of--I thought it all came to +the same thing: in the end, as they say. Well, perhaps it will, in the +end. I don't know what the end will be. Moreover, I care for seeing +things as they are; that's the way I try to show them in my novels. But +you must n't talk to Mrs. Ambient about things as they are. She has a +mortal dread of things as they are." + +"She's afraid of them for Dolcino," I said: surprised a moment +afterwards at being in a position--thanks to Miss Ambient--to be so +explanatory; and surprised even now that Mark should n't have shown +visibly that he wondered what the deuce I knew about it But he did n't; +he simply exclaimed, with a tenderness that touched me,-- + +"Ah, nothing shall ever hurt _him!_" He told me more about his wife +before we arrived at the gate of his house, and if it be thought that he +was querulous, I am afraid I must admit that he had some of the foibles +as well as the gifts of the artistic temperament; adding, however, +instantly, that hitherto, to the best of my belief, he had very rarely +complained. "She thinks me immoral--that's the long and short of it," he +said, as we paused outside a moment, and his hand rested on one of +the bars of his gate; while his conscious, demonstrative, expressive, +perceptive eyes,--the eyes of a foreigner, I had begun to account them, +much more than of the usual Englishman,--viewing me now evidently +as quite a familiar friend, took part in the declaration. "It's very +strange, when one thinks it all over, and there's a grand comicality +in it which I should like to bring out. She is a very nice woman, +extraordinarily well behaved, upright and clever, and with a tremendous +lot of good sense about a good many matters. Yet her conception of a +novel--she has explained it to me once or twice, and she does n't do it +badly, as exposition--is a thing so false that it makes me blush. It is +a thing so hollow, so dishonest, so lying, in which life is so blinked +and blinded, so dodged and disfigured, that it makes my ears burn. It's +two different ways of looking at the whole affair," he repeated, pushing +open the gate. "And they are irreconcilable!" he added, with a sigh. +We went forward to the house, but on the walk, half way to the door, +he stopped, and said to me, "If you are going into this kind of +thing, there's a fact you should know beforehand; it may save you +some disappointment. There's a hatred of art, there's a hatred of +literature!" I looked up at the charming house, with its genial color +and crookedness, and I answered, with a smile, that those evil passions +might exist, but that I should never have expected to find them there. +"Oh, it doesn't matter, after all," he said, laughing; which I was glad +to hear, for I was reproaching myself with having excited him. + +If I had, his excitement soon passed off, for at lunch he was +delightful; strangely delightful, considering that the difference +between himself and his wife was, as he had said, irreconcilable. He +had the art, by his manner, by his smile, by his natural kindliness, of +reducing the importance of it in the common concerns of life; and Mrs. +Ambient, I must add, lent herself to this transaction with a very good +grace. I watched her, at table, for further illustrations of that fixed +idea of which Miss Ambient had spoken to me; for, in the light of the +united revelations of her sister-in-law and her husband, she had come to +seem to me a very singular personage. I am obliged to say that the signs +of a fanatical temperament were not more striking in my hostess +than before; it was only after a while that her air of incorruptible +conformity, her tapering, monosyllabic correctness, began to appear to +be themselves a cold, thin flame. Certainly, at first, she looked like a +woman with as few passions as possible; but if she had a passion at all, +it would be that of Philistinism. She might have been--for there are +guardian-spirits, I suppose, of all great principles--the angel of +propriety. Mark Ambient, apparently, ten years before, had simply +perceived that she was an angel, without asking himself of what He had +been quite right in calling my attention to her beauty. In looking for +the reason why he should have married her, I saw, more than before, that +she was, physically speaking, a wonderfully cultivated human plant--that +she must have given him many ideas and images. It was impossible to be +more pencilled, more garden-like, more delicately tinted and petalled. + +If I had had it in my heart to think Ambient a little of a hypocrite +for appearing to forget at table everything he had said to me during our +walk, I should instantly have cancelled such a judgment, on reflecting +that the good news his wife was able to give him about their little +boy was reason enough for his sudden air of happiness. It may have come +partly, too, from a certain remorse at having complained to me of the +fair lady who sat there,--a desire to show me that he was after all +not so miserable. Dolcino continued to be much better, and he had been +promised he should come downstairs after he had had his dinner. As soon +as we had risen from our own meal Ambient slipped away, evidently for +the purpose of going to his child; and no sooner had I observed this +than I became aware that his wife had simultaneously vanished. It +happened that Miss Ambient and I, both at the same moment, saw the tail +of her dress whisk out of a doorway, which led the young lady to smile +at me, as if I now knew all the secrets of the Ambients. I passed with +her into the garden, and we sat down on a dear old bench which rested +against the west wall of the house. It was a perfect spot for the middle +period of a Sunday in June, and its felicity seemed to come partly from +an antique sun-dial which, rising in front of us and forming the centre +of a small, intricate parterre, measured the moments ever so slowly, and +made them safe for leisure and talk. The garden bloomed in the suffused +afternoon, the tall beeches stood still for an example, and, behind and +above us, a rose-tree of many seasons, clinging to the faded grain of +the brick, expressed the whole character of the place in a familiar, +exquisite smell. It seemed to me a place for genius to have every +sanction, and not to encounter challenges and checks. Miss Ambient asked +me if I had enjoyed my walk with her brother, and whether we had talked +of many things. + +"Well, of most things," I said, smiling, though I remembered that we had +not talked of Miss Ambient. + +"And don't you think some of his theories are very peculiar?" + +"Oh, I guess I agree with them all." I was very particular, for Miss +Ambient's entertainment, to guess. + +"Do you think art is everything?" she inquired in, a moment. + +"In art, of course I do!" + +"And do you think beauty is everything?" + +"I don't know about its being everything. But it's very delightful" + +"Of course it is difficult for a woman to know how far to go," said +my companion. "I adore everything that gives a charm to life. I am +intensely sensitive to form. But sometimes I draw back--don't you see +what I mean?--I don't quite see where I shall be landed. I only want +to be quiet, after all," Miss Ambient continued, in a tone of stifled +yearning which seemed to indicate that she had not yet arrived at her +desire. "And one must be good, at any rate, must not one?" she inquired, +with a cadence apparently intended for an assurance that my answer would +settle this recondite question for her. It was difficult for me to +make it very original, and I am afraid I repaid her confidence with an +unblushing platitude. I remember, moreover, appending to it an inquiry, +equally destitute of freshness, and still more wanting perhaps in tact, +as to whether she did not mean to go to church, as that was an obvious +way of being good. She replied that she had performed this duty in the +morning, and that for her, on Sunday afternoon, supreme virtue consisted +in answering the week's letters. Then suddenly, without transition, she +said to me, "It's quite a mistake about Dolcino being better. I have seen +him, and he's not at all right." + +"Surely his mother would know, would n't she?" I suggested. + +She appeared for a moment to be counting the leaves on one of the great +beeches. "As regards most matters, one can easily say what, in a given +situation, my sister-in-law would do. But as regards this one, there are +strange elements at work." + +"Strange elements? Do you mean in the constitution of the child?" + +"No, I mean in my sister-in-law's feelings." + +"Elements of affection, of course; elements of anxiety. Why do you call +them strange?" + +She repeated my words. "Elements of affection, elements of anxiety. She +is very anxious." + +Miss Ambient made me vaguely uneasy; she almost frightened me, and I +wished she would go and write her letters. "His father will have seen +him now," I said, "and if he is not satisfied he will send for the +doctor." + +"The doctor ought to have been here this morning. He lives only two +miles away." + +I reflected that all this was very possibly only a part of the general +tragedy of Miss Ambient's view of things; but I asked her why she had +n't urged such a necessity upon her sister-in-law. She answered me with +a smile of extraordinary significance, and told me that I must have very +little idea of what her relations with Beatrice were; but I must do +her the justice to add that she went on to make herself a little more +comprehensible by saying that it was quite reason enough for her sister +not to be alarmed that Mark would be sure to be. He was always nervous +about the child, and as they were predestined by nature to take opposite +views, the only thing for Beatrice was to cultivate a false optimism. If +Mark were not there, she would not be at all easy. I remembered what +he had said to me about their dealings with Dolcino,--that between them +they would put an end to him; but I did not repeat this to Miss Ambient: +the less so that just then her brother emerged from the house, carrying +his child in his arms. Close behind him moved his wife, grave and pale; +the boy's face was turned over Ambient's shoulder, towards his mother. +We got up to receive the group, and as they came near us Dolcino turned +round. I caught, on his enchanting little countenance, a smile of +recognition, and for the moment would have been quite content with it. +Miss Ambient, however, received another impression, and I make haste to +say that her quick sensibility, in which there was something maternal, +argues that, in spite of her affectations, there was a strain of +kindness in her. "It won't do at all--it won't do at all," she said to +me under her breath. "I shall speak to Mark about the doctor." + +The child was rather white, but the main difference I saw in him was +that he was even more beautiful than the day before. He had been dressed +in his festal garments,--a velvet suit and a crimson sash,--and he +looked like a little invalid prince, too young to know condescension, +and smiling familiarly on his subjects. + +"Put him down, Mark, he's not comfortable," Mrs. Ambient said. + +"Should you like to stand on your feet, my boy?" his father asked. + +"Oh, yes; I 'm remarkably well," said the child. + +Mark placed him on the ground; he had shining, pointed slippers, with +enormous bows. "Are you happy now, Mr. Ambient?" + +"Oh, yes, I am particularly happy," Dolcino replied. The words were +scarcely out of his mouth when his mother caught him up, and in a +moment, holding him on her knees, she took her place on the bench where +Miss Ambient and I had been sitting. This young lady said something +to her brother, in consequence of which the two wandered away into the +garden together. I remained with Mrs. Ambient; but as a servant had +brought out a couple of chairs I was not obliged to seat myself beside +her. Our conversation was not animated, and I, for my part, felt there +would be a kind of hypocrisy in my trying to make myself agreeable to +Mrs. Ambient I didn't dislike her--I rather admired her; but I was +aware that I differed from her inexpressibly. Then I suspected, what +I afterwards definitely knew and have already intimated, that the poor +lady had taken a dislike to me; and this of course was not encouraging. +She thought me an obtrusive and even depraved young man, whom a perverse +Providence had dropped upon their quiet lawn to flatter her husband's +worst tendencies. She did me the honor to say to Miss Ambient, who +repeated the speech, that she didn't know when she had seen her husband +take such a fancy to a visitor; and she measured, apparently, my evil +influence by Mark's appreciation of my society. I had a consciousness, +not yet acute, but quite sufficient, of all this; but I must say that +if it chilled my flow of small-talk, it did n't prevent me from thinking +that the beautiful mother and beautiful child, interlaced there against +their background of roses, made a picture such as I perhaps should not +soon see again. I was free, I supposed, to go into the house and write +letters, to sit in the drawing-room, to repair to my own apartment and +take a nap; but the only use I made of my freedom was to linger still in +my chair and say to myself that the light hand of Sir Joshua might have +painted Mark Ambient's wife and son. I found myself looking perpetually +at Dolcino, and Dolcino looked back at me, and that was enough to +detain me. When he looked at me he smiled, and I felt it was an absolute +impossibility to abandon a child who was smiling at one like that. His +eyes never wandered; they attached themselves to mine, as if among +all the small incipient things of his nature there was a desire to say +something to me. If I could have taken him upon my own knee, he perhaps +would have managed to say it; but it would have been far too delicate a +matter to ask his mother to give him up, and it has remained a constant +regret for me that on that Sunday afternoon I did not, even for a +moment, hold Dolcino in my arms. He had said that he felt remarkably +well, and that he was especially happy; but though he may have been +happy, with his charming head pillowed on his mother's breast, and his +little crimson silk legs depending from her lap, I did not think he +looked well. He made no attempt to walk about; he was content to swing +his legs softly and strike one as languid and angelic. + +Mark came back to us with his sister; and Miss Ambient, making some +remark about having to attend to her correspondence, passed into the +house. Mark came and stood in front of his wife, looking down at the +child, who immediately took hold of his hand, keeping it while he +remained. "I think Ailingham ought to see him," Ambient said; "I think +I will walk over and fetch him." + +"That 's Gwendolen's idea, I suppose," Mrs. Ambient replied, very +sweetly. + +"It's not such an out-of-the-way idea, when one's child is ill." + +"I 'm not ill, papa; I 'm much better now," Dolcino remarked. + +"Is that the truth, or are you only saying it to be agreeable? You have +a great idea of being agreeable, you know." + +The boy seemed to meditate on this distinction this imputation, for a +moment; then his exaggerated eyes, which had wandered, caught my own +as I watched him. "Do _you_ think me agreeable?" he inquired, with the +candor of his age, and with a smile that made his father turn round to +me, laughing, and ask, mutely, with a glance, "Is n't he adorable?" + +"Then why don't you hop about, if you feel so lusty?" Ambient went on, +while the boy swung his hand. + +"Because mamma is holding me close!" + +"Oh, yes; I know how mamma holds you when I come near!" Ambient +exclaimed, looking at his wife. + +She turned her charming eyes up to him, without deprecation or +concession, and after a moment she said, "You can go for Allingham if +you like, I think myself it would be better. You ought to drive." + +"She says that to get me away," Ambient remarked to me, laughing; after +which he started for the doctor's. + +I remained there with Mrs. Ambient, though our conversation had more +pauses than speeches. The boy's little fixed white face seemed, as +before, to plead with me to stay, and after a while it produced still +another effect, a very curious one, which I shall find it difficult to +express. Of course I expose myself to the charge of attempting to give +fantastic reasons for an act which may have been simply the fruit of a +native want of discretion; and indeed the traceable consequences of that +perversity were too lamentable to leave me any desire to trifle with the +question. All I can say is that I acted in perfect good faith, and +that Dolcino's friendly little gaze gradually kindled the spark of my +inspiration. What helped it to glow were the other influences,--the +silent, suggestive garden-nook, the perfect opportunity (if it was not +an opportunity for that, it was an opportunity for nothing), and the +plea that I speak of, which issued from the child's eyes, and seemed to +make him say, "The mother that bore me and that presses me here to her +bosom--sympathetic little organism that I am--has really the kind of +sensibility which she has been represented to you as lacking; if you +only look for it patiently and respectfully. How is it possible that she +should n't have it? How is it possible that I should have so much of +it (for I am quite full of it, dear, strange gentleman), if it were not +also in some degree in her? I am my father's child, but I am also my +mother's, and I am sorry for the difference between them!" So it shaped +itself before me, the vision of reconciling Mrs. Ambient with her +husband, of putting an end to their great disagreement The project was +absurd, of course, for had I not had his word for it--spoken with +all the bitterness of experience--that the gulf that divided them was +wellnigh bottomless? Nevertheless, a quarter of an hour after Mark had +left us, I said to his wife that I could n't get over what she told +me the night before about her thinking her husband's writings +"objectionable." I had been so very sorry to hear it, had thought of it +constantly, and wondered whether it were not possible to make her change +her mind. Mrs. Ambient gave me rather a cold stare; she seemed to be +recommending me to mind my own business. I wish I had taken this mute +counsel, but I did not. I went on to remark that it seemed an immense +pity so much that was beautiful should be lost upon her. + +"Nothing is lost upon me," said Mrs. Ambient "I know they are very +beautiful." + +"Don't you like papa's books?" Dolcino asked, addressing his mother, but +still looking at me. Then he added to me, "Won't you read them to me, +American gentleman?" + +"I would rather tell you some stories of my own," I said. "I know +some that are very interesting." "When will you tell them? To-morrow?" +"To-morrow, with pleasure, if that suits you." Mrs. Ambient was silent +at this. Her husband, during our walk, had asked me to remain another +day; my promise to her son was an implication that I had consented, and +it is not probable that the prospect was agreeable to her. This ought, +doubtless, to have made me more careful as to what I said next; but all +I can say is that it did n't. I presently observed that just after +leaving her the evening before, and after hearing her apply to her +husband's writings the epithet I had already quoted, I had, on going up +to my room, sat down to the perusal of those sheets of his new book +which he had been so good as to lend me. I had sat entranced till nearly +three in the morning. I had read them twice over. "You say you have n't +looked at them. I think it 's such a pity you should n't Do let me beg +you to take them up. They are so very remarkable. I 'm sure they will +convert you. They place him in--really--such a dazzling light. All that +is best in him is there. I have no doubt it's a great liberty, my saying +all this; but excuse me, and _do_ read them!" + +"Do read them, mamma!" Dolcino repeated; "do read them!" + +She bent her head and closed his lips with a kiss. "Of course I know he +has worked immensely over them," she said; and after this she made no +remark, but sat there looking thoughtful, with her eyes on the ground. +The tone of these last words was such as to leave me no spirit for +further pressure, and after expressing a fear that her husband had not +found the doctor at home, I got up and took a turn about the grounds. +When I came back, ten minutes later, she was still in her place watching +her boy, who had fallen asleep in her lap. As I drew near she put her +finger to her lips, and a moment afterwards she rose, holding the +child, and murmured something about its being better that he should go +upstairs. I offered to carry him, and held out my hands to take him; +but she thanked me and turned away with the child seated on her arm, his +head on her shoulder. "I am very strong," she said, as she passed into +the house, and her slim, flexible figure bent backwards with the filial +weight So I never touched Dolcino. + +I betook myself to Ambient's study, delighted to have a quiet hour to +look over his books by myself. The windows were open into the garden; +the sunny stillness, the mild light of the English summer, filled the +room, without quite chasing away the rich dusky tone which was a part +of its charm, and which abode in the serried shelves where old +morocco exhaled the fragrance of curious learning, and in the brighter +intervals, where medals and prints and miniatures were suspended upon a +surface of faded stuff. The place had both color and quiet; I thought it +a perfect room for work, and went so far as to say to myself that, if it +were mine to sit and scribble in, there was no knowing but that I might +learn to write as well as the author of _Beltraffio_. This distinguished +man did not turn up, and I rummaged freely among his treasures. At last +I took down a book that detained me awhile, and seated myself in a fine +old leather chair by the window to turn it over. I had been occupied +in this way for half-an-hour,--a good part of the afternoon had +waned,--when I became conscious of another presence in the room, and, +looking up from my quarto, saw that Mrs. Ambient, having pushed open the +door in the same noiseless way that marked, or disguised, her entrance +the night before, had advanced across the threshold. On seeing me she +stopped; she had not, I think, expected to find me. But her hesitation +was only of a moment; she came straight to her husband's writing-table +as if she were looking for something. I got up and asked her if I could +help her. She glanced about an instant, and then put her hand upon a +roll of papers which I recognized, as I had placed it in that spot in +the morning on coming down from my room. + +"Is this the new book?" she asked, holding it up. "The very sheets, with +precious annotations." "I mean to take your advice;" and she tucked the +little bundle under her arm. I congratulated her cordially, and +ventured to make of my triumph, as I presumed to call it, a subject of +pleasantry. But she was perfectly grave, and turned away from me, as she +had presented herself, without a smile; after which I settled down to my +quarto again, with the reflection that Mrs. Ambient was a queer woman. +My triumph, too, suddenly seemed to me rather vain. A woman who could +n't smile in the right place would never understand Mark Ambient. He +came in at last in person, having brought the doctor back with him. "He +was away from home," Mark said, "and I went after him, to where he was +supposed to be. He had left the place, and I followed him to two or +three others, which accounts for my delay." He was now with Mrs. Ambient +looking at the child, and was to see Mark again before leaving the +house. My host noticed, at the end of ten minutes, that the proof-sheets +of his new book had been removed from the table; and when I told him, +in reply to his question as to what I knew about them, that Mrs. Ambient +had carried them off to read, he turned almost pale for an instant with +surprise. "What has suddenly made her so curious?" he exclaimed; and I +was obliged to tell him that I was at the bottom of the mystery. I had +had it on my conscience to assure her that she really ought to know +of what her husband was capable. "Of what I am capable? _Elle ne s'en +dottie que trop!_" said Ambient, with a laugh; but he took my meddling +very good-naturedly, and contented himself with adding that he was very +much afraid she would burn up the sheets, with his emendations, of which +he had no duplicate. The doctor paid a long visit in the nursery, and +before he came down I retired to my own quarters, where I remained till +dinner-time. On entering the drawing-room at this hour, I found Miss +Ambient in possession, as she had been the evening before. + +"I was right about Dolcino," she said, as soon as she saw me, with a +strange little air of triumph. "He is really very ill." + +"Very ill! Why, when I last saw him, at four o'clock, he was in fairly +good form." + +"There has been a change for the worse, very sudden and rapid, and when +the doctor got here he found diphtheritic symptoms. He ought to have +been called, as I knew, in the morning, and the child ought n't to have +been brought into the garden." + +"My dear lady, he was very happy there," I answered, much appalled. + +"He would be happy anywhere. I have no doubt he is happy now, with his +poor little throat in a state--" she dropped her voice as her brother +came in, and Mark let us know that, as a matter of course, Mrs. Ambient +would not appear. It was true that Dolcino had developed diphtheritic +symptoms, but he was quiet for the present, and his mother was earnestly +watching him. She was a perfect nurse, Mark said, and the doctor was +coming back at ten o'clock. Our dinner was not very gay; Ambient was +anxious and alarmed, and his sister irritated me by her constant tacit +assumption, conveyed in the very way she nibbled her bread and sipped +her wine, of having "told me so." I had had no disposition to deny +anything she told me, and I could not see that her satisfaction in being +justified by the event made poor Dolcino's throat any better. The truth +is that, as the sequel proved, Miss Ambient had some of the qualities +of the sibyl, and had therefore, perhaps, a right to the sibylline +contortions. Her brother was so preoccupied that I felt my presence +to be an indiscretion, and was sorry I had promised to remain over the +morrow. I said to Mark that, evidently, I had better leave them in the +morning; to which he replied that, on the contrary, if he was to pass +the next days in the fidgets, my company would be an extreme relief to +him. The fidgets had already begun for him, poor fellow; and as we +sat in his study with our cigars after dinner, he wandered to the door +whenever he heard the sound of the doctor's wheels. Miss Ambient, who +shared this apartment with us, gave me at such moments significant +glances; she had gone upstairs before rejoining us to ask after the +child His mother and his nurse gave a tolerable account of him; but Miss +Ambient found his fever high and his symptoms very grave. The doctor +came at ten o'clock, and I went to bed after hearing from Mark that +he saw no present cause for alarm. He had made every provision for the +night, and was to return early in the morning. + +I quitted my room at eight o'clock the next day, and, as I came +downstairs, saw, through the open door of the house, Mrs. Ambient +standing at the front gate of the grounds, in colloquy with the +physician. She wore a white dressing-gown, but her shining hair was +carefully tucked away in its net, and in the freshness of the morning, +after a night of watching, she looked as much "the type of the lady" as +her sister-in-law had described her. Her appearance, I suppose, ought to +have reassured me; but I was still nervous and uneasy, so that I shrank +from meeting her with the necessary question about Dolcino. None the +less, however, was I impatient to learn how the morning found him; +and, as Mrs. Ambient had not seen me, I passed into the grounds by a +roundabout way, and, stopping at a further gate, hailed the doctor just +as he was driving away. Mrs. Ambient had returned to the house before he +got into his gig. + +"Excuse me, but as a friend of the family, I should like very much to +hear about the little boy." + +The doctor, who was a stout, sharp man, looked at me from head to foot, +and then he said, "I'm sorry to say I have n't seen him." + +"Have n't seen him?" + +"Mrs. Ambient came down to meet me as I alighted, and told me that he +was sleeping so soundly, after a restless night, that she did n't wish +him disturbed. I assured her I would n't disturb him, but she said he +was quite safe now and she could look after him herself." + +"Thank you very much. Are you coming back?" + +"No, sir; I 'll be hanged if I come back!" exclaimed Dr. Allingham, who +was evidently very angry. And he started his horse again with the whip. + +I wandered back into the garden, and five minutes later Miss Ambient +came forth from the house to greet me. She explained that breakfast +would not be served for some time, and that she wished to catch the +doctor before he went away. I informed her that this functionary had +come and departed, and I repeated to her what he had told me about his +dismissal. This made Miss Ambient very serious, very serious indeed, +and she sank into a bench, with dilated eyes, hugging her elbows with +crossed arms. She indulged in many ejaculations, she confessed that she +was infinitely perplexed, and she finally told me what her own last +news of her nephew had been. She had sat up very late,--after me, after +Mark,--and before going to bed had knocked at the door of the child's +room, which was opened to her by the nurse. This good woman had admitted +her, and she had found Dolcino quiet, but flushed and "unnatural," with +his mother sitting beside his bed. "She held his hand in one of +hers," said Miss Ambient, "and in the other--what do you think?--the +proof-sheets of Mark's new book! She was reading them there, intently: +did you ever hear of anything so extraordinary? Such a very odd time to +be reading an author whom she never could abide!" In her agitation Miss +Ambient was guilty of this vulgarism of speech, and I was so impressed +by her narrative that it was only in recalling her words later that I +noticed the lapse. Mrs. Ambient had looked up from her reading with her +finger on her lips--I recognized the gesture she had addressed to me in +the afternoon--and, though the nurse was about to go to rest, had not +encouraged her sister-in-law to relieve her of any part of her vigil. +But certainly, then, Dolcino's condition was far from reassuring,--his +poor little breathing was most painful; and what change could have taken +place in him in those few hours that would justify Beatrice in denying +the physician access to him? This was the moral of Miss Ambient's +anecdote, the moral for herself at least. The moral for me, rather, was +that it _was_ a very singular time for Mrs. Ambient to be going into a +novelist she had never appreciated, and who had simply happened to be +recommended to her by a young American she disliked. I thought of her +sitting there in the sick-chamber in the still hours of the night, after +the nurse had left her, turning over those pages of genius and wrestling +with their magical influence. + +I must relate very briefly the circumstances of the rest of my visit to +Mark Ambient,--it lasted but a few hours longer,--and devote but three +words to my later acquaintance with him. That lasted five years,--till +his death,--and was full of interest, of satisfaction, and, I may add, +of sadness. The main thing to be said with regard to it, is that I had +a secret from him. I believe he never suspected it, though of this I +am not absolutely sure. If he did, the line he had taken, the line of +absolute negation of the matter to himself, shows an immense effort of +the will. I may tell my secret now, giving it for what it is worth, now +that Mark Ambient has gone, that he has begun to be alluded to as one of +the famous early dead, and that his wife does not survive him; now, too, +that Miss Ambient, whom I also saw at intervals during the years that +followed, has, with her embroideries and her attitudes, her necromantic +glances and strange intuitions, retired to a Sisterhood, where, as I am +told, she is deeply immured and quite lost to the world. + +Mark came in to breakfast after his sister and I had for some time been +seated there. He shook hands with me in silence, kissed his sister, +opened his letters and newspapers, and pretended to drink his coffee. +But I could see that these movements were mechanical, and I was little +surprised when, suddenly, he pushed away everything that was before him, +and, with his head in his hands and his elbows on the table, sat staring +strangely at the cloth. + +"What is the matter, _fratello mio?_" Miss Ambient inquired, peeping from +behind the urn. + +He answered nothing, but got up with a certain violence and strode to +the window. We rose to our feet, his sister and I, by a common impulse, +exchanging a glance of some alarm, while he stared for a moment into the +garden. "In Heaven's name what has got possession of Beatrice?" he cried +at last, turning round with an almost haggard face. And he looked from +one of us to the other; the appeal was addressed to me as well as to his +sister. + +Miss Ambient gave a shrug. "My poor Mark, Beatrice is always--Beatrice!" + +"She has locked herself up with the boy--bolted and barred the door; she +refuses to let me come near him!" Ambient went on. + +"She refused to let the doctor see him an hour ago!" Miss Ambient +remarked, with intention, as they say on the stage. + +"Refused to let the doctor see him? By heaven, I 'll smash in the +door!" And Mark brought his fist down upon the table, so that all the +breakfast-service rang. + +I begged Miss Ambient to go up and try to have speech of her +sister-in-law, and I drew Mark out into the garden. "You 're exceedingly +nervous, and Mrs. Ambient is probably right," I said to him. "Women +know; women should be supreme in such a situation. Trust a mother--a +devoted mother, my dear friend!" With such words as these I tried to +soothe and comfort him, and, marvellous to relate, I succeeded, with the +help of many cigarettes, in making him walk about the garden and talk, +or listen at least to my own ingenious chatter, for nearly an hour. +At the end of this time Miss Ambient returned to us, with a very rapid +step, holding her hand to her heart. + +"Go for the doctor, Mark, go for the doctor this moment!" + +"Is he dying? Has she killed him?" poor Ambient cried, flinging away his +cigarette. + +"I don't know what she has done! But she's frightened, and now she wants +the doctor." + +"He told me he would be hanged if he came back!" I felt myself obliged +to announce. + +"Precisely--therefore Mark himself must go for him, and not a messenger. +You must see him, and tell him it 's to save your child. The trap has +been ordered--it's ready." + +"To save him? I 'll save him, please God!" Ambient cried, bounding with +his great strides across the lawn. + +As soon as he had gone I felt that I ought to have volunteered in +his place, and I said as much to Miss Ambient; but she checked me by +grasping my arm quickly, while we heard the wheels of the dog-cart +rattle away from the gate. "He's off--he's off--and now I can think! To +get him away--while I think--while I think!" + +"While you think of what, Miss Ambient?" + +"Of the unspeakable thing that has happened under this roof!" + +Her manner was habitually that of such a prophetess of ill that my first +impulse was to believe I must allow here for a great exaggeration. +But in a moment I saw that her emotion was real. "Dolcino _is_ dying +then,--he is dead?" + +"It's too late to save him. His mother has let him die! I tell you that +because you are sympathetic, because you have imagination," Miss Ambient +was good enough to add, interrupting my expression of horror. "That's +why you had the idea of making her read Mark's new book!" + +"What has that to do with it? I don't understand you; your accusation is +monstrous." + +"I see it all; I'm not stupid," Miss Ambient went on, heedless of the +harshness of my tone. "It was the book that finished her; it was that +decided her!" + +"Decided her? Do you mean she has murdered her child?" I demanded, +trembling at my own words. + +"She sacrificed him; she determined to do nothing to make him live. Why +else did she lock herself up, why else did she turn away the doctor? The +book gave her a horror; she determined to rescue him,--to prevent him +from ever being touched. He had a crisis at two o'clock in the morning. +I know that from the nurse, who had left her then, but whom, for a short +time, she called back. Dolcino got much worse, but she insisted on the +nurse's going back to bed, and after that she was alone with him for +hours." + +"Do you pretend that she has no pity, that she's insane?" + +"She held him in her arms, she pressed him to her breast, not to see +him; but she gave him no remedies; she did nothing the doctor ordered. +Everything is there, untouched. She has had the honesty not even to +throw the drugs away!" + +I dropped upon the nearest bench, overcome with wonder and agitation, +quite as much at Miss Armbient's terrible lucidity as at the charge she +made against her sister-in-law. There was an amazing coherency in her +story, and it was dreadful to me to see myself figuring in it as so +proximate a cause. + +"You are a very strange woman, and you say strange things." + +"You think it necessary to protest, but you are quite ready to believe +me. You have received an impression of my sister-in-law, you have +guessed of what she is capable." + +I do not feel bound to say what concession, on this point, I made to +Miss Ambient, who went on to relate to me that within the last half-hour +Beatrice had had a revulsion; that she was tremendously frightened at +what she had done; that her fright itself betrayed her; and that she +would now give heaven and earth to save the child. "Let us hope she +will!" I said, looking at my watch and trying to time poor Ambient; +whereupon my companion repeated, in a singular tone, "Let us hope so!" +When I asked her if she herself could do nothing, and whether she ought +not to be with her sister-in-law, she replied, "You had better go and +judge; she is like a wounded tigress!" + +I never saw Mrs. Ambient till six months after this, and therefore +cannot pretend to have verified the comparison. At the latter period she +was again the type of the lady. "She'll treat him better after this," I +remember Miss Ambient saying, in response to some quick outburst (on my +part) of compassion for her brother. Although I had been in the house +but thirty-six hours, this young lady had treated me with extraordinary +confidence, and there was therefore a certain demand which, as an +intimate, I might make of her. I extracted from her a pledge that she +would never say to her brother what she had just said to me; she would +leave him to form his own theory of his wife's conduct. She agreed with +me that there was misery enough in the house, without her contributing a +new anguish, and that Mrs. Ambient's proceedings might be explained, to +her husband's mind, by the extravagance of a jealous devotion. Poor Mark +came back with the doctor much sooner than we could have hoped, but we +knew, five minutes afterwards, that they arrived too late. Poor little +Dolcino was more exquisitely beautiful in death than he had been in +life. Mrs. Ambient's grief was frantic; she lost her head and said +strange things. As for Mark's--but I will not speak of that. _Basta_, +as he used to say. Miss Ambient kept her secret,--I have already had +occasion to say that she had her good points,--but it rankled in her +conscience like a guilty participation, and, I imagine, had something +to do with her retiring ultimately to a Sisterhood. And, _a propos_ of +consciences, the reader is now in a position to judge of my compunction +for my effort to convert Mrs. Ambient. I ought to mention that the +death of her child in some degree converted her. When the new book came +out--it was long delayed--she read it over as a whole, and her husband +told me that a few months before her death,--she failed rapidly +after losing her son, sank into a consumption, and faded away +at Mentone,--during those few supreme weeks she even dipped into +_Beltraffio_. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Author Of Beltraffio, by Henry James + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AUTHOR OF BELTRAFFIO *** + +***** This file should be named 21770.txt or 21770.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/7/7/21770/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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