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border-bottom: thin dotted red;} + +.pagenum {position: absolute; right: 3%; font-size: 92%; +font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-align: right; +text-indent: 0em;} +.pagenum.intro:before, .pagenum.intro:after {content: "-";} +.pagenum.part2:before {content: "2.";} +.pagenum.part3:before {content: "3.";} +.pagenum.part4:before {content: "4.";} + +.folionum {position: absolute; left: 3%; font-size: 92%; +font-style: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0em;} + +.mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; +margin: 1em 5%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 90%;} +div.mynote {margin-top: 0em;} +div.mynote a {text-decoration: none;} + + +</style> +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window and +Bog-House Miscellany, by Hurlo Thrumbo (pseudonym) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany + Parts 2, 3 and 4 + +Author: Hurlo Thrumbo (pseudonym) + +Commentator: Maximillian E. Novak + +Contributor: James Roberts + +Release Date: February 6, 2007 [EBook #20535] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MERRY-THOUGHT *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class = "mynote"> + +<p>The texts cited use a variety of long and short dashes, generally +with +no relationship to the number of letters omitted. For this e-text, +short dashes are separated, while longer dashes are connected:</p> + +<p class = "inset"> +D<span class = "hyphen">---</span>n <i>Molley H<span class = +"dash">——</span>ns</i> for her Pride.</p> + +</div> + +<div class = "title"> + +<h5 class = "smallcaps">The Augustan Reprint Society</h5> +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<h5>THE</h5> + +<h3>MERRY-THOUGHT:</h3> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h4>Glass-Window and Bog-House</h4> + +<h4 class = "smallcaps">Miscellany</h4> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<h4>Parts 2, 3, and 4</h4> + +<h5>(1731-?)</h5> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><i>Introduction by</i></h5> + +<h5>MAXIMILLIAN E. NOVAK</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<h6>Publication Number 221-222<br> +WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">University of California, Los +Angeles</span><br> +1983</h6> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<div class = "mynote"> +<p><a href = "#intro">Editor's Introduction</a></p> + +<p><a href = "#partII">The Merry-Thought, Part II</a></p> + +<p class = "inset"><a href = "#drawing"><i>drawing</i></a>: +Man Hanging for Love</p> + +<p><a href = "#partIII">The Merry-Thought, Part III</a></p> + +<p class = "inset"><a href = "#song"><i>music</i></a>: +The Galloping Song</p> + +<p><a href = "#partIV">The Merry-Thought, Part IV</a></p> + +<p><a href = "#advert">Advertisement</a>: Entertaining Pamphlets</p> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<div class = "editors"> + +<p class = "first">GENERAL EDITOR</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">David Stuart Rodes</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> + +<p class = "first">EDITORS</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Charles L. Batten</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">George Robert Guffey</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Maximillian E. Novak</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Nancy M. Shea</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Thomas Wright</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><p> + +<p class = "first">ADVISORY EDITORS</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Ralph Cohen</span>, +<i>University of Virginia</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">William E. Conway</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Vinton A. Dearing</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Phillip Harth</span>, +<i>University of Wisconsin, Madison</i> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Louis A. Landa</span>, +<i>Princeton University</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Earl Miner</span>, +<i>Princeton University</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">James Sutherland</span>, +<i>University College, London</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Norman J. W. Thrower</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i></p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Robert Vosper</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><p> +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">John M. Wallace</span>, +<i>University of Chicago</i></p> + + +<p class = "first">PUBLICATIONS MANAGER</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Nancy M. Shea</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i></p> + + +<p class = "first">CORRESPONDING SECRETARY</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Beverly J. Onley</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><p> + + +<p class = "first">EDITORIAL ASSISTANT</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<span class = "smallcaps">Frances Miriam Reed</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><p> + +</div> + + +<div class = "intro"> + +<span class = "pagenum intro">iii</span> +<h4 class = "chapter"><a name = "intro" id = "intro"> +INTRODUCTION</a></h4> + + +<p>In an address to the American Society for Eighteenth Century Studies +at the 1983 annual meeting, Roger Lonsdale suggested that our knowledge +of eighteenth-century poetry has depended heavily on what our +anthologies have decided to print. For the most part modern anthologies +have, in turn, drawn on collections put together at the end of the +eighteenth century and the beginning of the next, when the ideal for +inclusion was essentially that of “polite taste.” The obscene, the +feminine, and the political were by general cultural agreement usually +omitted. Lonsdale is not the only scholar questioning the basis of the +canon; indeed, revisionism is fast becoming one of the more +ingenious--and useful--parlor games among academics. Modern readers are +no longer so squeamish about obscenity nor so uncomfortable with the +purely personal lyric as were the editors at the end of the eighteenth +century. And we are hardly likely to find poetry written by women +objectionable on that score alone. In short, the anthologies we depend +upon are out of date.</p> + + +<p class = "space"> +Among the works that would never have been a source of poems for the +canon, and one mentioned by Lonsdale, was the collection of verse +published in four parts by J. Roberts beginning in 1731, <i>The +Merry-Thought: or, the Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany</i>, +commonly known simply as <i>The Bog-House Miscellany</i>. Its +contemporary reputation may be described as infamous. James Bramston, in +his <i>The Man of Taste</i> (1733), mentioned it as an example in poetry +of the very opposite of “good Taste” (ARS 171 [1975], 7). Polite +taste, of course, is meaningful only if it can define itself by what it +excludes, and nothing could be in worse taste than a collection of +pieces written on windows, carved in tables, or inscribed on the walls +of Britain’s loos.</p> + +<p>Just as the compilers of a modern work, <i>The Good Loo Guide</i>, +were parodying a well-known guide book to British restaurants, so the +unknown authors of <i>The Merry-Thought</i> had some notion, however +discontinuous, of parodying the nation’s polite literature. Were not +Pope and Swift famous for their distinguished miscellanies? What could +<span class = "pagenum intro">iv</span> +be more amusing than a collection of poems that represented a different +poetic ideal--a collection of verse with none of the pretensions to +artistic merit claimed by the superstars of the poetic world--the +spontaneous productions of nonpoets in moments of idleness or +desperation. Apparently some of the inscribers in the bog-houses used +excrement as a medium for--as well as a subject of--their inscriptions. +<i>The Merry-Thought</i>, then, is not even the kind of art that Dryden +attacked in <i>MacFlecknoe</i> and Pope in his <i>Dunciad</i>--the work +of bad poets masquerading as geniuses.<a class = "tag" name = "tag1" id += "tag1" href = "#note1">1</a> Rather, it is a primitive form of folk +art produced as a more or less spontaneous act of play or passion, and +achieving some small degree of respectability only when practiced by a +respected poet and collected with his more serious verse.<a class = +"tag" name = "tag2" id = "tag2" href = "#note2">2</a> Like modern +“serial” graffiti, it could function as a form of communication since +the first inscriptions often provoked those who followed to make their +own contributions.</p> + +<p>Indeed, one of the more interesting aspects of graffiti is that in an +impermanent form it testifies to the continuance over the centuries of +certain human concerns. Recent studies of graffiti have often focused on +particular modern conflicts between races or nations, on drug problems, +and on specific political commentary.<a class = "tag" name = "tag3" id = +"tag3" href = "#note3">3</a> But such local matters aside, the content +of modern graffiti is surprisingly like that of earlier periods: +scatological observations, laments of lovers, accusations against women +for their sexual promiscuity, the repetition of “trite” poems and +sayings, and messages attributed to various men and women suggesting +their sexual availability and proficiency. And if the political targets +have changed over the years, many of the political attitudes have +remained consistent. Graffiti is an irreverent form, with strong popular +and anti-establishment elements. As actions common to all classes, +eating, drinking, defecation, and fornication find their lowly record in +graffiti-like form.</p> + +<p>On the most basic level, a writer will observe that the +excrement of the rich differs in no way from that of the poor. Thus one +poem, taken supposedly from a “Person of Quality’s Boghouse,” has the +following sentiment:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +Good Lord! who could think,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +That such fine Folks should stink?</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 2, p. 25)</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum intro">v</span> + +<p>There is nothing very polite about such observations, and no +pretension to art. These verses belong strictly to folklore and the +sociology of literature, but they suggest some continuing rumbles of +discontent against the class system, the existence among the lower +orders of some of the egalitarian attitudes that survived the passing of +the Lollards and the Levellers. Who were the writers of these pieces? +Were they indeed laborers? Or were they from the lower part of what was +called the “middle orders”? Is there some evidence to be found in the +very fact that they could write?</p> + +<p>Graffiti may, indeed, tell us something about degrees of literacy. +One wit remarked that whatever the ability to read or write may have +been at the time, almost everyone seemed to have been literate when +presented with a bog-house wall: “Since all who come to Bog-house write” +(pt. 2, p. 26). The traditional connection between defecation +and writing was another comparison apparent to the commentators. One +wrote:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +There’s Nothing foul that we commit,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +But what we write, and what we sh - t.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 2, p. 13)</p> +</div> + +<p>And the lack of some paper or material to clean the rear end provoked +the following sentiment in the form of a litany:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +From costive Stools, and hide-bound Wit,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +From Bawdy Rhymes, and Hole besh - - t.</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +From Walls besmear’d with stinking Ordure,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +By Swine who <ins class = "correction" +title = "spelling unchanged">nee’r</ins> provide Bumfodder</p> +<p class = "inset6 nospace"> +<i>Libera Nos</i>----</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 4, p. 7)</p> +</div> + +<p>Other types of graffiti, however, vary from the very earnest +expression of affection to the nonexcrementally satiric. One of the more +unusual is a poem in praise of a faithful and loving wife:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset3"> +I kiss’d her standing,</p> +<p class = "inset4 nospace"> +Kiss’d her lying,</p> +<p class = "inset3 nospace"> +Kiss’d her in Health,</p> +<p class = "inset4 nospace"> +And kiss’d her dying;</p> +<span class = "pagenum intro">vi</span> +<p class = "inset3 nospace"> +And when she mounts <i>the Skies</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset4 nospace"> +I’ll kiss her flying.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 3, p. 5)</p> +</div> + +<p>Underneath this poem, <i>The Merry-Thought</i> records a favorable +comment on the sentiment. Even more earnest is the complaint of a woman +about her fate in love:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +Since cruel Fate has robb’d me of the Youth,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +For whom my Heart had hoarded all its Truth,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +I’ll ne’er love more, dispairing e’er to find,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +Such Constancy and Truth amongst Mankind.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +<i>Feb.</i> 18, 1725. </p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 2, p. 12)</p> +</div> + +<p>We will never know why she was unable to marry the man she truly +loved; but her bitterness may have been short-lived. Just after this +inscription comes a cynical comment identifying the lady as a member of +the Walker family. And the writer insists that like all women she was +inconstant, since he kissed her the next night.</p> + +<p>This cynical approach to love and women dominates <i>The +Merry-Thought</i>. Part three, for instance, contains a poem that reads +like a parody of Belinda awaking in the first canto of Pope’s <i>Rape of +the Lock</i>. The author, identified as W. Overb‑‑ry, +presents a realistic morning scene without either the charms and +beauties that surround Pope’s Belinda or the viciousness and focus of +Swift’s similar pictures (see pt. 3, p. 26).</p> + +<p>Prevailingly, women are depicted as sexually insatiable, as in a +piece written by a man who takes a month’s vacation from sex to recoup +his strength (pt. 2, p. 12). And the related image of the +female with a sexual organ capable of absorbing a man plays a variation +on the vagina dentata theme (e.g., pt. 2, pp. 19, 24). A drawing of +a man hanging himself for love raises a considerable debate on whether +such a thing can indeed occur (pt. 2, pp. 17-18). In a more +realistic vein, though equally cynical, is the poem on the woman who +complained of her husband making her pregnant so often:</p> + +<span class = "pagenum intro">vii</span> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +A poor Woman was ill in a dangerous Case,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +She lay in, and was just as some other Folks was:</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +By the Lord, cries <i>She</i> then, if my Husband e’er come,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +Once again with his Will for to tickle my Bum,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +I’ll storm, and I’ll swear, and I’ll run staring wild;</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +And yet the next Night, the Man got her with Child.</p> +<p class = "inset6"> +S. M. 1708.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 2, pp. 10-11)</p> +</div> + +<p>S. M. is clearly unsympathetic to the plight of married women in an +age with only the most primitive forms of birth control.<a class = "tag" +name = "tag4" id = "tag4" href = "#note4">4</a> The picture of her as a +long-suffering person is undercut by the casual male assumption that +giving birth was not really dangerous and that women make too much of +the pain and difficulty. That women were often forced to go through +thirteen or fourteen deliveries when little thought had yet been given +to creating an antiseptic environment for childbirth is apparently of +little concern to S. M., who finds in the apparent willingness of +the woman to have sexual intercourse one more time sufficient reason for +contempt.</p> + +<p>In addition to giving glimpses into social attitudes, <i>The +Merry-Thought</i> has a variety of inscriptions that show the way these +writings functioned. Professor George Guffey, in his introduction to the +first part of this work (ARS 216 [1982], iii-iv), remarks upon the +proposal scene carried on in <i>Moll Flanders</i> between Moll and the +admirer who will prove her third husband and her brother. Such scenes +involving witty proposals and responses cut into the windows of taverns +were real enough at the time. The exchange in part two of <i>The +Merry-Thought</i> is not, however, half so satisfactory. The woman takes +umbrage at her admirer’s suggestions that the glass on which he writes +is “the Emblem” of her mind in being “brittle, slipp’ry, [and] +pois’nous,” and writes in retort:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +I must confess, kind Sir, that though this Glass,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +Can’t prove me brittle, it proves you an Ass.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(Pt. 2, p. 27)</p> +</div> + +<p>Though an easy cynicism about women’s availability and about the +body’s insistently animal functions predominates, there is enough +variety in <i>The Merry-Thought</i> to provide something of a picture of +eighteenth-century society were any future anthropologist +<span class = "pagenum intro">viii</span> +to come upon this volume as the sole remnant of that period. He would +see a society engaged rather more in animal functions than in +intellectual pursuits--a society rather more concerned with +drinking, love, and defecation than the picture presented by the polite +and intellectual literature of the time allowed. But he would also find +in the satirical squibs on Corny, the Cambridge bookseller and printer, +evidence of learning and university life (pt. 2, pp. 4-6) as well +as a criticism of opera (pt. 2, pp. 14-16). He would see numerous +young men longing for their mistresses to soften their hearts toward +them, and cynical older men who had lost their illusions about love. But +he could also come upon a straight piece of philosophy taken from the +still fashionable Flask tavern in Hampstead (pt. 2, p. 24) or +lowly bits of pious folk wisdom (pt. 2, p. 10). More often, +however, he would uncover a society in which there was little of the +generalized style that characterizes even the most personal formal +poetry of the period. Many of the writers identify themselves and the +names of the women they love or detest. In short, if these volumes do +little else, they do provide a vivid glimpse into the personal life of +the time, and to that extent an injection of some of these inscriptions +into the anthologies of the period might help in providing a lively and +piquant context for the serious artistic production of writers like Gay +and Swift.</p> + + +<p class = "space"> +The announced “publisher” of this olio was one Hurlothrumbo, +a character drawn from the theatrical piece of that name by Samuel +Johnson of Cheshire (1691-1773). Professor Guffey has proposed that +James Roberts, for whom the four parts were printed, “was almost +certainly the collector of the graffiti” and that the name of +Hurlothrumbo was invoked in order to attract some of the attention that +Samuel Johnson of Cheshire and his play were still receiving two years +after the play’s first performance and publication.<a class = "tag" name += "tag5" id = "tag5" href = "#note5">5</a> But Roberts would appear an +unlikely candidate for the role of editor;<a class = "tag" name = "tag6" +id = "tag6" href = "#note6">6</a> I would suggest, rather, the +possibility of a more direct and active connection with Samuel Johnson +of Cheshire: that he was himself likely the compiler of the four parts +of <i>The Merry-Thought</i> and that, whatever the individual versifiers +may have intended, this infamous collection of graffiti--<i>as +collection</i>--shares very closely with Johnson’s other work a spirit +of wild variety, eccentric juxtaposition, and essential anarchism that +is meant to lead, not +<span class = "pagenum intro">ix</span> +to clever parody of polite literature, but to a new, almost apocalyptic +vision of the sublime.</p> + +<p>At the first level, <i>Hurlothrumbo: Or, The Super-Natural</i> (1729) +itself appears to be quite simply a parody, in this case of opera in the +form of a work mixing dialogue and song in a manner similar to but much +wilder than Gay’s <i>Beggar’s Opera</i>. Johnson’s apparent takeoff on +the heroics of opera managed to include in its attack a commentary upon +the absurdity of contemporary tragedy as well as some specific +references to those works that aimed at the sublime. Lines like “This +World is all a Dream, an Outside, a Dunghill pav’d with Diamonds” +(48) seem to call the very nature of metaphor into question, especially +when juxtaposed with other delirious lines such as “Rapture is the Egg +of Love, hatched by a radiant Eye” (14) or by songs such as that sung by +the king on contemplating the effects of swallowing gunpowder and brandy +together:</p> + +<div class = "block"> +<p class = "inset2"> +Then Lightning from the Nostrils flies.</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +Swift Thunder-bolts from Anus, and the Mouth will break,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +With Sounds to pierce the Skies, and make the Earth to quake.</p> +<p class = "deepset"> +(P. 42)</p> +</div> + +<p><i>Hurlothrumbo</i> may be mostly nonsense, but from the standpoint +of literary history, it is highly significant nonsense. It represented a +revolt against all dramatic conventions and shared a number of qualities +with graffiti, including the sense of spontaneity.</p> + +<p>Had Johnson’s intention been something as relatively uncomplicated as +literary parody he would have achieved some minor fame in a century +which could boast any number of geniuses who had specialized in deriding +the pretentiousness of the more established literary forms, particularly +tragedy, the epic, and the pastoral. But Johnson of Cheshire lacked the +aesthetic distance required of sustained irony and had a grander purpose +in mind. His tradition was not that of the parodist but rather that of +the visionary--the mystic whose tendency is to merge the high and the +low, the sublime and the absurd, within a single work.<a class = "tag" +name = "tag7" id = "tag7" href = "#note7">7</a> He was not attacking the +extravagant rants of the heroic play as Fielding was to do in his +<i>Tragedy of Tragedies</i> (1731) or reflecting on opera and pastoral +as Gay had done in <i>The Beggar’s Opera</i> (1728); rather he was +trying, however unsuccessfully, to maintain his own work at the highest +reaches of sublimity. He was like one of Pope’s “<i>Flying Fishes</i>,” +who “now and then rise +<span class = "pagenum intro">x</span> +upon their fins and fly out of the Profound; but their wings are soon +dry, and they drop down to the bottom.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag8" id += "tag8" href = "#note8">8</a></p> + +<p>In his preface to <i>The Blazing Comet; or the Beauties of the +Poets</i> (1732), Johnson of Cheshire noted that “the same thought that +makes the Fool laugh, may make the wise Man sigh” (ix). Given such an +equivocal approach to the ways in which the audience responded to his +work, the poet could easily shrug off audience laughter to his most +“Sublime” lines. He was always ready “to leap up in Extasy; and dip ... +[his] Pen in the Sun” (iv). Parts of <i>Hurlothrumbo</i>, particularly +the scene between Lady Flame and Wildfire (both of whom are described in +the list of characters as “mad”) in which Wildfire threatens to cast off +his clothes and “run about stark naked” (48), bear an odd resemblance to +“The King’s Cameleopard” in <i>Huckleberry Finn</i>. But the +disconnected verbal structure, along with the music and dancing, +achieves a strange mixture that must have amused and, to a certain +extent, bemused its audience.</p> + +<p>Johnson called upon “Variety” as his most important artistic +principle, and he developed his ideas on this subject in <i>A Vision of +Heaven</i> (1738), a work which bears a striking resemblance to +William Blake’s <i>The Marriage of Heaven and Hell</i>.<a class = "tag" +name = "tag9" id = "tag9" href = "#note9">9</a> Johnson argues that all +surface appearances are merely a form of “Hieroglyphic” concealing a +true vision of things (6). His narrator is capable of what Blake was to +call “mental flight,” and there is a particularly vivid passage in which +the stars are seen as throwing down “freezing Daggers” at the poor +starving children in the streets and another in which we encounter an +aged woman who wields a broom against spiders and against all the young +women who threaten to come near the narrator (26).<a class = "tag" name += "tag10" id = "tag10" href = "#note10">10</a> The mystic temperament is +often capable of making connections between the spiritual and the +excremental,<a class = "tag" name = "tag11" id = "tag11" href = +"#note11">11</a> between the sublime and the bathos of “Thunder-bolts +from Anus.” Blake, we should recall, has poems depicting himself +defecating.<a class = "tag" name = "tag12" id = "tag12" href = +"#note12">12</a></p> + +<p>Whether Johnson actually collected <i>The Merry-Thought</i> or not, +the reasons for the association of these volumes with his name should +then be clear enough. While Fielding might appropriate the title +“Scriblerus Secundus” by way of staking out a line of descent for his +humor and satire, Hurlothrumbo was so thoroughly connected with Johnson +and his play that I can see no reason why he should not be considered +the likely editor of such a varied and eccentric collection of verse and +prose as <i>The Merry-Thought</i>. That the “Variety” bears no +<span class = "pagenum intro">xi</span> +resemblance to that of serious art, however, should be as obvious as the +difference between a William Blake and a Samuel Johnson of Cheshire. As +William Hogarth was to remark, “variety uncomposed, and without design +is confusion and deformity.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag13" id = "tag13" +href = "#note13">13</a></p> + +<p>Of course, miscellanies by their very nature are likely to be +organized according to principles of variety. What makes <i>The +Merry-Thought</i> different from those appealing to polite taste is the +wide swings of emotion that prompt the writers of these poems and catch +the compiler’s fancy. As we have seen, the verses themselves vary from +the grossest comments on shit to the most passionate expressions of +love. That the one is likely to appear on the walls of latrines and the +other to be cut in glass by a diamond is part of what Johnson would have +called the “Hieroglyphic” significance of this collection. In Johnson’s +plays, there is the odd mixture of vulgarity and sublimity, the comic +and the serious, the satirical and the nonsensical. If his dramas bear a +resemblance to Jarry’s <i>Ubu Roi</i>, so <i>The Merry-Thought</i> +resembles the kind of anthology that Jarry might have put together to +illustrate the absurd anarchy of the human spirit. Johnson, on the other +hand, regarded this seeming anarchy of human thoughts and feelings +optimistically as an emblem of human spirituality.</p> + +<p class = "space"><i>University of California,</i></p> + +<p class = "inset"><i>Los Angeles</i></p> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum intro">xii</span> +<h4 class = "chapter">NOTES TO THE INTRODUCTION</h4> + +<div class = "footnotes"> + +<p><a name = "note1" id = "note1" href = "#tag1">1.</a> +On the other hand, the willingness of publishers to bring out such +material would have suited well enough with Pope’s picture of their +heroic games. See Alexander Pope, <i>The Dunciad</i>, ed. James +Sutherland, Twickenham Edition, 2d ed., rev. (London: Methuen, 1953), +297-306, bk 2, lines 17-220.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2" id = "note2" href = "#tag2">2.</a> +See, for example, W. H. Auden’s “Academic Graffiti,” in +<i>Collected Poems</i>, ed. Edward Mendelsohn (London: Faber and Faber, +1976), 510-18. Such a verse as the following is more clever than most +graffiti, but like ordinary graffiti it remains essentially “unpoetic”: +“Lord Byron / Once succumbed to a Siren. / His flesh was weak, / Hers +Greek.”</p> + +<p><a name = "note3" id = "note3" href = "#tag3">3.</a> +See, for example, Elizabeth Wales and Barbara Brewer, “Graffiti in the +1970’s,” <i>Journal of Social Psychology</i> 99 (1976): 115-23.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4" id = "note4" href = "#tag4">4.</a> +For an account of the horrors associated with childbirth, see Lawrence +Stone, <i>The Family, Sex, and Marriage in England, 1500-1800</i> (New +York: Harper and Row, 1977), 79-80.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5" id = "note5" href = "#tag5">5.</a> +See ARS 216, x, n. 12. Professor Guffey offers parallels between <i>The +Merry-Thought</i> and <i>Hurlothrumbo</i> in “Graffiti, Hurlo Thrumbo, +and the Other Samuel Johnson,” <i>Forum: A Journal of the Humanities and +Fine Arts</i> 17 (1979): 35-47.</p> + +<p><a name = "note6" id = "note6" href = "#tag6">6.</a> +Michael Treadwell has demonstrated that the “trade publishers” of the +eighteenth century, such as James Roberts, acted almost exclusively as +binders and distributors of books and were therefore different in kind +from the printers and booksellers, who were directly involved in the +selection and production process. Roberts and the other “trade +publishers” dealt almost exclusively in “works belonging to others,” and +Treadwell singles out Roberts as the purest example. Despite putting his +name to “literally thousands of works,” he never purchased any of the +copyrights on works during his long career. See “London Trade +Publishers, 1675-1750,” <i>Library</i>, 6th ser., 4 (1982): 99-134.</p> + +<p><a name = "note7" id = "note7" href = "#tag7">7.</a> +See Martin Pops, “The Metamorphosis of Shit,” <i>Salmagundi</i> 56 +(1982): 27-61.</p> + +<p><a name = "note8" id = "note8" href = "#tag8">8.</a> +Alexander Pope, <i>Peri Bathous</i>, in <i>Literary Criticism of +Alexander Pope</i>, ed. Bertrand A. Goldgar (Lincoln: University of +Nebraska Press, 1965), 54.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9" id = "note9" href = "#tag9">9.</a> +Without suggesting that Blake may have known of Johnson’s work, +I would nevertheless note the similarity of certain sections. Like +Blake, Johnson mingled comedy and satire in his vision.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum intro">xiii</span> +<p><a name = "note10" id = "note10" href = "#tag10">10.</a> +Compare Blake’s “The Mental Traveler,” <i>The Poetry and Prose of +William Blake</i>, ed. David Erdman and Harold Bloom (Garden City, N.Y.: +Doubleday, 1970), 476-77.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11" id = "note11" href = "#tag11">11.</a> +See Pops, 31.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12" id = "note12" href = "#tag12">12.</a> +Blake, <i>Poetry and Prose</i>, 491.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13" id = "note13" href = "#tag13">13.</a> +<i>The Analysis of Beauty</i>, ed. Joseph Burke (Oxford: Clarendon +Press, 1955), 35.</p> + +</div> <!--end of footnotes--> + +<h4 class = "chapter">BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE</h4> + +<p>Part 2 (“The SECOND EDITION”) and Part 3 of <i>The Merry-Thought</i> +are reproduced in photographic facsimile from the copies in the William +Andrews Clark Memorial Library (Shelf Mark: *PR1195/H8H9/1731). They are +bound together with Part 1 (“the <span class = "smallcaps">Third +Edition</span>; with very Large Additions and Alterations”), which was +published as ARS 216 in 1982. A typical type page (pt. 2. +p. 7) measures 154 x 87 mm. Part 4 is reproduced from the copy +in the Bodleian Library, Oxford (Shelf Mark: Douce T. 168[5]).</p> + +</div> + +<hr> + +<a name = "partII" id = "partII"> </a> +<div class = "title"> + +<h5>THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT:</h2> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h4>Glaſs-Window and Bog-Houſe</h4> + +<h4 class = "smallcaps extended">Miscellany.</h4> + +<h6>Taken from</h6> + +<p class = "hanging"> +The Original Manuscripts written in <i>Diamond</i> by Persons of the +first Rank and Figure in <i>Great Britain</i>; relating to Love, +Matrimony, Drunkenness, Sobriety, Ranting, Scandal, Politicks, Gaming, +and many other Subjects, <i>Serious</i> and <i>Comical</i>.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "hanging"> +Faithfully Transcribed from the Drinking-Glasses and Windows in the +several noted <i>Taverns</i>, <i>Inns</i>, and other <i>Publick +Places</i> in this Nation. Amongst which are inserted several curious +Pieces from both Universities.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><i>Published by</i> <span class = "extended">HURLO +THRUMB</span>O.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>Gameyorum, Wildum, Gorum,<br> +Gameyorum a Gamy,<br> +Flumarum a Flumarum,<br> +A Rigdum Bollarum<br> +A Rigdum, for a little Gamey.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset5"> +<ins class = "correction" title = +"spelling unchanged">Bethleham</ins>-Wall, Moor-Fields.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><span class = "extended">PART</span> II.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5 class = "extended">The SECOND EDITION.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5 class = "extended"><i>LONDON:</i></h5> + +<h5>Printed for <span class = "smallcaps extended">J. Roberts</span> in +<i>Warwick-Lane</i>; and Sold by the Booksellers in Town and Country. + [Price 6 <i>d.</i>]</h5> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr class = "full"> +<hr class = "full"> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<p class = "hanging"> +<i>N. B.</i> The Editor returns his hearty Thanks to those Gentlemen who +have favoured him with their Letters, and intreats that they will be so +good as to continue to communicate whatever they shall meet with of this +Kind to the <span class = "smallcaps">Publisher</span>.</p> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr class = "full"> +<hr class = "full"> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">1</span> +<span class = "folionum">B</span> + +<h5 class = "extended">THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT.</h2> + +<h4><span class = "extended">PART</span> II.</h4> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p> </p> + +<h5 class = "extended">INTRODUCTION.</h5> + + +<p><span class = "firstword"> +<span class = "fourlines">Y</span>ou</span> +will pardon the Editor that he does not put Things better in Order; but +he is so engaged in reading the Letters sent him in from the two +Universities, after the Publication of the First Part, that he believes +the Preface is in the Middle of the Book; but I dare swear you’ll find +it somewhere or other, and so read on.</p> + +<div class = "poem"> + +<hr class = "mid"> + +<h5>In <em>Trinity-College</em> Bogs.</h5> + +<p>Ye <i>Cantabs</i> mind when ye are sh<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>t<span class = "hyphen">--</span>ng,</p> +<p>How nearly ’tis allied to Writing.</p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span>To Writing, say you? <span +class = "dash">——</span>pray how so?</p> +<p>An uncouth Simile, I trow.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">2</span> + +<p><span class = "dash">——</span>Hold, pray <span class = +"dash">——</span> Condemn it not untry’d;</p> +<p>Hear only how it is apply’d.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +As learned <i>Johnian</i> wracks his Brain<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>Thinks, <span class = "dash">——</span>hems, <span class = +"dash">——</span>looks wise, <span class = +"dash">——</span>then thinks again;<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>When all this Preparation’s done,</p> +<p>The mighty Product is <span class = "dash">——</span> a +Pun.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +So some with direful strange Grimaces,</p> +<p>Within this Dome distort their Faces;</p> +<p>Strain, <span class = "dash">——</span>squeeze, <span +class = "dash">——</span>yet loth for to depart,</p> +<p>Again they strain—for what? a Fart.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +Hence <i>Cantabs</i> take this moral Trite,</p> +<p>’Gainst Nature, if ye think or sh<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>te;</p> +<p>Use all the Labour, all the Art,</p> +<p>’Twill ne’er exceed a Pun, or Fart.</p> + + +<h5>Red-Lion, Egham.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Coquets will always merry prove;</p> +<p>But Prudes are those <i>give down their love</i>;</p> +<p>And love and move, and move to love.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>A Prude for my Money, by G<span class = "hyphen">--</span>d.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +T. S. 1711.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">3</span> +<span class = "folionum">B2</span> + +<h5 class = "long">Written on the Looking-Glass of Mr. T<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>p<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>n, Fellow-Commoner of Trinity-College, +Cambridge.</h5> + +<h5>Imago in Speculo loquitur ad T<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>p<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>n.</h5> + +<p class = "inset6 smaller">I.</p> + +<p>Thou pretty little fluttering Thing,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That mak’st this gaudy Shew;</p> +<p>Thou senseless Mimick of a Man,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Thou Being, call’d a Beau.</p> + + +<p class = "inset6 first smaller">II.</p> + +<p>Like me thou art an empty Form,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Like me alone, thou’rt made;</p> +<p>Like me delusive seem’st a Man,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But only art a Shade.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Tuns in Cambridge, Window facing a certain Alderman’s +in the Market.</h5> + +<p>Is <i>Molly Fr<span class = "dash">——</span></i> +immortal? <span class = "dash">——</span>No.</p> +<p>She is; and I will prove her so.</p> +<p>She’s fifteen now, and was, I know,</p> +<p>Fifteen, full fifteen Years ago.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>The Fates from Heaven late came Post;</p> +<p>And thus address’d this <i>Cambridge</i> Toast.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">4</span> + +<p>Say happy Maid that can detain</p> +<p>Old hoary Time in fetter’d Chain,</p> +<p>What wouldst thou have to set him free,</p> +<p>And give thy captive Liberty?</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +Miss <i>Molly</i> call’d Mamma aside,</p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> Whisper’d awhile, then +thus reply’d;</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +Upon my Life, all I would have</p> +<p>From <i>Victor</i> is to be a Slave;</p> +<p>I’ll soon untie this Captive’s Hands;</p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> Tie me but fast in +<i>Hymen</i>’s Bands.</p> + + +<h5>On the Same on another Pane.</h5> + +<p>At Home Miss <i>Molly</i>’s scarce fifteen.</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Mamma says she’s no more;</p> +<p>But if the Parish-Book says true,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Miss <i>Molly</i>’s thirty four.</p> +<p class = "inset5"> +Poor Miss <i>Molly</i>!</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Wrote on Cor<span class = +"dash">————</span> Cr<span class = +"dash">————</span>d’s (a Printer and Bookseller +in Cambridge) Window in the Shop.</h5> + +<p>Ye longing Sophs, say it who can,</p> +<p>That <i>Corny</i>’s not a learned Man.</p> +<p>He knows well each Edition, Sir,</p> +<p>Of <i>Aldus</i>, and of <i>Elzevir</i>;</p> +<p>Of <i>Beza</i> he profoundly reasons,</p> +<p>And talks jocose of <i>Harry Stephens</i>.</p> +<p>Though (says a Wag) all this I grant,</p> +<p>Yet <i>Corny</i> sure must Learning want.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part2">5</span> +<p>How so? <span class = "dash">——</span>It’s plain, (if +that we may</p> +<p>B’lieve what Men of themselves do say,)</p> +<p>For <i>Corny</i>’s openly* confess’d.</p> +<p>He’s but a Blockhead at the best.</p> + +<p class = "inset3 smaller"> +* <i>Corny</i>, in Printing a <i>Latin</i> Book, censur’d by the +University, was forced to plead <i>Ignoramus</i> to save his Bacon.</p> + + +<h5>Another in the Shop, on C<span class = +"dash">——</span>’s Title Page</h5> + +<h5><span class = "smallcaps">Learning</span>.</h5> + +<p>Within this learn’d Receptacle of Arts,</p> +<p><i>Corny</i>, if ask’d, on each can shew his Parts;</p> +<p>Alike a <i>Newton</i>, or a <i>Ratcliffe</i> prove;</p> +<p>A <i>Coke</i> in Law<span class = "dash">——</span>an +<i>Etheridge</i> in Love.—</p> +<p>Reason profound<span class = "dash">——</span>in Hist’ry +state each Fact,</p> +<p>Teach† <i>London</i> how to think, or <i>Walpole</i> how to act.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +O say from whence should all this Learning come.<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>From whence?<span class = "dash">——</span>from each dead +Sage around the Room.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +If <i>Corny</i> thence his Fund of Learning draws,</p> +<p>How great his Skill in Politicks or Laws? <span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>How deeply read? <span class = "dash">——</span> how vast +his learned Store? <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> When <span class = +"dash">——</span> past the Title, all his Learning’s +o’er.</p> + + +<p class = "inset3 smaller"> +† Bishop.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">6</span> + +<h5>Another in the Same.</h5> + +<p>Is <i>Corny</i>’s Learning much; my Friends;</p> +<p>Since where it does begin, <span class = "dash">——</span> +it ends?</p> + + +<h5>From a Window in Ardenham-House, Hertfordshire.</h5> + +<p>As glass obdurate no Impression takes,</p> +<p>But what the radiant piercing Diamond makes;</p> +<p>Just so my Heart all other Pow’rs defies,</p> +<p>But those of fair <i>Venilla</i>’s brilliant Eyes.</p> + + +<h5>Written in a Lady’s Dressing Room.</h5> + +<p><i>Brunetta</i>, I grant you, can give her Swain Death;</p> +<p>But ’tis not with her Eyes, but with her<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>ill Breath.</p> + + +<h5>From a Window in the Inner Temple-Hall.</h5> + +<p>Come hither, Barristers of Dress,</p> +<p>That once your Lips may meet Success:</p> +<p>From <i>Rufus</i>’ filthy Hall withdraw;</p> +<p>Here only ye can live by Law.</p> + + +<h5>A Rebus on Lady of Quality, on a Glass at the Old Devil Tavern.</h5> + +<p>What fly from her Eyes, and the Place whither I</p> +<p>Must soon be convey’d to, unless she comply,</p> +<p>Is the Name of the Beauty for whom I could die.</p> + +<p class = "prose first"> +<i>N. B.</i> Darts and <i>Shafts</i> fly from her Eyes, and if one dies, +one must be <i>bury</i>’d.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">7</span> +<h5>Under the Rebus on Lady Sh<span class = "hyphen">---</span>bury, at +the Devil Tavern, is this;</h5> + +<p>What opens a Door, and a Word of Offence,</p> +<p>Tell the Name of a Nymph of Wit, Beauty, and Sense.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +Supposed to be for Miss <i>Ke<span class = "hyphen">-</span>ly</i>.</p> + + +<h5>From the Window of a Chamber in the Inner Temple.</h5> + +<p>For dear <i>Venilla</i> in my Arms,</p> +<p>I’d scorn all other female Charms;</p> +<p>Ten thousand Beauties she can spare,</p> +<p>And still be <i>Fairest</i> of the <i>Fair</i>.</p> + + +<h5>From innumerable Windows.</h5> + +<p>Like <i>Mars</i> I’ll fight, like <i>Antony</i> I’ll love,</p> +<p>I’ll drink like <i>Bacchus</i>, and I’ll whore like <i>Jove</i>.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">From the Apollo, the large Dancing-Room in the Devil +Tavern, written when some were engaged in a particular +Country-Dance.</h5> + +<p>This Dance foretells that Couple’s Life,</p> +<p>Who mean to dance as Man and Wife;</p> +<p>As here, they’ll first with Vigour set,</p> +<p>Give Hands, and turn whene’er they meet;</p> +<p>But soon will quit their former Track,</p> +<p>Cast off and end in Back to Back.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">8</span> +<h5>From the Angel Tavern, Temple-Bar.</h5> + +<p>’Tis hard! ’tis wonderous hard!</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That the Life of a Man</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Should be but a Span,</p> +<p>And that of a Woman a Yard!</p> + + +<h5>From a Watch-Maker’s Window, Fleet-Street.</h5> + +<p>Here Time is bought and sold: ’Tis plain, my Friend,</p> +<p>My Clocks and Watches shew what I intend;</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +For you I Time correct,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +My Time I spend;</p> +<p class = "inset4"> +By Time I live,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But not one Inch will lend,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Except you pay the ready down or send:</p> +<p class = "inset4"> +I trust no Time,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Unless the Times do mend.</p> + + +<h5>On a Watch-Case in a Gentleman’s Pocket, given him by a Lady.</h5> + +<p>The Wretched pray to make more Haste,</p> +<p>The Happy say we fly too fast;</p> +<p>Therefore impossible to know,</p> +<p>Whether I go too fast or slow.</p> + +<p class = "author">S. M.</p> + + +<h5>At Hollyhead, I suppose, written by some Creation-Mender.</h5> + +<p>Arra, now what signifies the making the two great Lights?</p> +<p>The Sun to light the Day, and the Moons to light the Nights:</p> +<span class = "pagenum part2">9</span> +<span class = "folionum">C</span> +<p>For the Sun in the Day-Time there is no Occasion,</p> +<p>Because I can see very well after my Persuasion:</p> +<p>But for the Moons, they are very good in a dark Night,</p> +<p>Because when we cannot see they give us a Light.</p> + + +<h5>Crown at Harlow.</h5> + +<p>Rail at your Father, rail at your Mother,</p> +<p>Rail at your Sister, rail at your Brother,</p> +<p>Rail on, my Boys, and rail at one another.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Rail as you say, and you’ll be all railed in.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written upon the Wall of Clements-Inn, when the Dial +was put up which is supported by a black Slave in a kneeling +Posture.</h5> + +<p>In vain poor sable Son of Woe,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Thou seek’st a tender Ear;</p> +<p>In vain thy Tears with Anguish flow,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +For Mercy dwells not here:</p> +<p>From Cannibals thou fly’st in vain,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Lawyers less Quarter give;</p> +<p>The first won’t eat you till you’re slain,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The last will do’t alive.</p> + + +<h5>Hampstead on a Window.</h5> + +<p>I am a Dog <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p class = "inset"> +In true Fidelity</p> +<p>I am a Sun <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p class = "inset"> +In faithful Constancy:</p> +<span class = "pagenum part2">10</span> +<p>I am a Stote, <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p class = "inset"> +To please a lustful Lass;</p> +<p>I am a Hog, <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p class = "inset"> +And you may kiss my A<span class = "dash">——</span>se.</p> +<p>But if my <i>Celia</i> comes within my Ken;</p> +<p>Then I shall be again like other Men.</p> + + +<h5>On another at the same Place.</h5> + +<p>My Wife says, Whither do you go?</p> +<p>And I return, my dear, I do not know;</p> +<p>Then d<span class = "dash">——</span>n your Blood, says +she, to use me thus;</p> +<p>And then I call her catterwauling Puss.</p> + + +<h5>Hampton-Court, at the Mitre.</h5> + +<p>A Ramp of very noted Name,</p> +<p>I need not say, for all Men know her Fame,</p> +<p>Lascivious, as the human Race could be,</p> +<p>She could not see a Man, but fell in Extasy.</p> + + +<h5>On a dyer’s Sign at Southwark.</h5> + +<p>I die to live,</p> +<p>I live to die,</p> +<p>And hope to live eternally.</p> + + +<h5>At the Star at Coventry.</h5> + +<p>A poor Woman was ill in a dangerous Case,</p> +<p>She lay in, and was just as some other Folks was:</p> +<p>By the Lord, cries <i>She</i> then, if my Husband e’er come,</p> +<p>Once again with his Will for to tickle my Bum,</p> +<span class = "pagenum part2">11</span> +<span class = "folionum">C2</span> +<p>I’ll storm, and I’ll swear, and I’ll run staring wild;</p> +<p>And yet the next Night, the Man got her with Child.</p> + +<p class = "author">S. M. 1708.</p> + + +<h5>By Desire not to insert the Place.</h5> + +<p>What care I for Mistress May’ress;</p> +<p>She’s little as the Queen of Fairies:</p> +<p>Her little Body like my Thumb,</p> +<p>Is thicker far than <i>other some</i>;</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Her Conscience yet would stretch so wide;</p> +<p>Either on this, or t’other Side,</p> +<p>That none could tell when they did ride.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +Swim for thy Life, dear Boy, for I can feel neither Bottom nor +Sides.</p> + + +<h5>In Pencil upon a Wall in a Tavern near Covent-Garden.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +I become all Things to all Men, to gain some, or I must have +starved.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Moll. Friskey.</i></p> + + +<h5>Star-Inn at Coventry.</h5> + +<p><i>Molly</i> the gay, the black, the friskey,</p> +<p>Would kiss like any wanton Gipsey;</p> +<p>Nor was her Mouth alone the Case,</p> +<p>A Man of Worth might kiss her A<span class = +"dash">——</span>se.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">12</span> +<h5>At a Tavern at the Royal Exchange.</h5> + +<p>I’ve now a Coach and Six before me,</p> +<p>Each female court’sies to adore me:</p> +<p>But from my dearest I can’t part,</p> +<p>Without returning her my Heart:</p> +<p>Tell her I am gone a Month or longer,</p> +<p>While she may gain more Love, and I grow stronger.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>S. M. Oct.</i> 17. 1720.</p> + + +<h5>From a Tavern in Fleet-Street.</h5> + +<p>I’ll drink like <i>Bacchus</i>, and I’ll fight like <i>Mars</i>,</p> +<p>The Kind I’ll love, the Cross may kiss my A<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>In the same Room in a Woman’s Hand.</h5> + +<p>Since cruel Fate has robb’d me of the Youth,</p> +<p>For whom my Heart had hoarded all its Truth,</p> +<p>I’ll ne’er love more, dispairing e’er to find,</p> +<p>Such Constancy and Truth amongst Mankind.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Feb.</i> 18, 1725.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose">I kiss’d her the next Night, and she’s one of the +<i>Walkers</i> Family.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Feb.</i> 18. 1725.</p> + + +<h5>Dublin in a Window in Castle-Street.</h5> + +<p>O mortal Man that’s made of Clay,</p> +<p>Is here to-Morrow, and is gone to Day.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">13</span> +<h5>In a Bog-House at Hampstead.</h5> + +<p>There’s Nothing foul that we commit,</p> +<p>But what we write, and what we sh<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>t.</p> + + +<h5>Three-Pigeons at Brentford.</h5> + +<p>Wer’t not for <i>Whims</i>, Candles, and Carrots</p> +<p>Young Fellows Things might ride in Chariots.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Tom Long, July</i> 17.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Heaven for all those Helps to Nature,</p> +<p>Or else poor P<span class = "dash">——</span> could get no +Quarter.</p> + + +<h5>Letter on a Window at Stony-Stratford, to Miss Mary V<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>d<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>le.</h5> + +<p>We shall B in better Q,</p> +<p>When U have I, and I have U.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +T. M. 1720</p> + + +<h5>From a Window in Hell, near Westminster-Hall.</h5> + +<p>Old <i>Orpheus</i> tickled his Harp so well,</p> +<p>That he tickled <i>Eurydice</i> out of Hell,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +With a Twing come Twang, and a Twing come Twang; but,</p> +<p>Some say <i>Euridice</i> was a Scold</p> +<p>Therefore the Devil of her took hold,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +With a Twing come Twang, &c.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +S. S. 1714.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">14</span> +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>If my Wife had been e’er in the Devil’s Hands,</p> +<p>You know it would loose all other Bands,</p> +<p>And I should been pleased with House and Lands.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +F. R. 1718.</p> + + +<h4 class = "extended">PREFACE.</h4> + +<p class = "prose"> +<i>From a Paper found in the Street at Twelve at Night, 1708. near +Covent-Garden. Argument concerning a Greek Opera that was to have been +set on Foot, when People liked to see and hear Operas first in +Italian.</i></p> + +<p class = "prose"> +<span class = "firstword"> +<span class = "twolines">A</span>s</span> Languages are introduced among +us Christian People daily that we do not understand, by Way of +<i>Italian</i> Opera, <i>&c.</i> why may we not entertain the +Publick with a little <i>Greek</i>, as natural as Pigs +squeak.—</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +<i>And for </i>Latin<i>, ’tis no more dificile,</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Than for a Blackbird ’tis to whistle.</i></p> + +<p class = "author">Hud.</p> + +<p class = "prose"> +I love dearly to quote my Authors.</p> + +<p class = "prose"> +I have been with both the Play-Houses, and one says d<span class = +"dash">——</span>n it, it won’t do; and t’other says, Z<span +class = "dash">——</span>ds it will not take; then says I to +myself, I’ll have a <i>Greek</i> Opera, by G<span class = +"hyphen">‑‑</span>d; and with this Resolution I set about +it, and made a Specimen, and +<span class = "pagenum part2">15</span> +so went with it in a Chair to the Opera-House, to give it the better +Grace. But that would not do neither; for one did not understand +<i>Greek</i>; nor t’other did not understand <i>Greek</i>; and +<i>Italian</i> was all in Vogue: And I did not understand that; and so +we could make no Bargain, and I returned Home.</p> + +<p class = "prose"> +Z<span class = "dash">——</span>ds, thinks I, if I don’t +understand their barbarous Language, must I let them have any Thing of +my ancient Language? No, Messieurs! I’ll let my Opera remain in its +Infancy, and you shall curse yourselves before you have it compleat; but +that you shall know what Fools you have been, I’ll stick a Needle +through my Nose, that you may look sharp; and then you will say, why did +not US take it, for in the first Scene I saw all the Audience laugh. But +to the Point, <i>i.e.</i> the second Preamble or Argument,</p> + + +<h4 class = "extended">OPERA.</h4> + +<p class = "prose"> +Scene is the City of <i>Athens</i>, and an old Woman lives in a hollow +Tree, where she sells Gin and Gingerbread to the Grenadiers; her Name is +Gammer <i>Hocus</i>. Then there comes a Goddess, who sells Butter and +Eggs at <i>Athens</i> Market, upon her Uncle’s bald Mare; and as the +Mare is a stumbling Jade, so she falls down before <i>Hocus</i>’s Tree, +and hurts her Rump, and then we begin.</p> + +<p class = "prose"> +<i>N. B.</i> When the Goddess <i>Cinderaxan</i> falls down before Gammer +<i>Hocus</i>’s Door, or Tree, she begins in <i>Ricitativo</i><span class += "dash">——</span><i>Greek</i> Fashion.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">16</span> + +<p class = "inset first"> +<i>O! mega mar, hocus the baldmare has cantedme ontoss;</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +* <i>Phillàdram sukami, some Spirit offerme to suckon.</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Dear <em>Hokey</em> behasty, forbum sufferssore by a +Thumpon’t;</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>No baldmare my Gammon shall contuseagain by one moretoss.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset3 smaller">* Fill.</p> + +<p class = "prose"> +<i>English’d</i> thus for the Benefit of the Ladies, though ’tis much +the same in the <i>Greek</i>.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +<i>O my Gammer <em>Hocus</em>, the bald Mare has canted me one +Toss;</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Fill a Dram, sick am I, some Spirit offer me to suck on.</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Dear <em>Hokey</em> be hasty, for Bum suffers sore by a Thump +on’t.</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>No bald Mare my Gammon shall contuse again by one more Toss.</i></p> + +<p class = "prose"> +Then out comes Gammer <i>Hocus</i>, when the Goddess had called for a +Dram in the second Line, and sings with an Air, seeing her Goddessship +as dirty as the Devil.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +<i><em>Cinderaxan</em>’s sablehew’d Aspect,<span class = +"dash">——</span></i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Fulloffun, though the Doxey can seemcoy.</i></p> + +<p class = "prose"> +And here we leave off. Is not the Devil in the People, that they will +not encourage a good Thing, when they have it before them.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">17</span> +<span class = "folionum">D</span> + +<h5>Crown at Uxbridge, <em>1708</em>.</h5> + +<h5>An Acrostick upon something or other.</h5> + +<p>Commodious for a Haven made,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Under a rising Bank,</p> +<p>Nature has fix’d a Place of Trade,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +To Men of any Rank.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Riddle my ree, <i>&c.</i></p> +<p>And read the four first Letters, and you’ll see.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>R. M.</i></p> + +<h5 class = "long"><a name = "drawing" id = "drawing"> +A Man hanging for Love</a>, drawn when Painting was in its Cradle, with +his Dog barking at him, <em>viva voce</em>. From the three Pigeons at +Brentford.</h5> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/pic2_17.png" width = "251" height = "165" +alt = "picture described above"> +</p> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">18</span> + +<p class = "prose"> +The Occasion of this dangling Story, was from a Lady who hated him, and +set him about it.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +Go hang thyself, quoth cruel She,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Go hang thyself I say.</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The Man obey’d her presently,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And made himself away.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Mary Worthless.</i></p> + +<p class = "prose"> +The Criticks do not make out whether he <i>walk’d</i> off, or +<i>went</i> off, neither does the Figure determine which.</p> + +<p class = "inset first"> +Hang me, if I will <i>hang</i> for any Woman,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +For most of them alike are very common;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +I’d sooner trudge as I have done before,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Than hang upon a d<span class = "dash">——</span>d confounded +Whore.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>No Matter if the Man is longer than the Gallows,</p> +<p>He smokes and drinks his Glass like honest Fellows.</p> + + +<h5>Upon a Drinking-Glass at Charing-Cross.</h5> + +<p><i>Nanny Sach<span class = "dash">——</span>l</i> is all +my Toast;</p> +<p>She’s all I wish for, and is all my Boast.</p> + + +<h5>Egham, at the Red Lion.</h5> + +<p>Help me, ye Pow’rs, to sing my <i>Sylvia</i>’s Praise;</p> +<p>Nor <i>P<span class = "hyphen">--</span>pe</i> nor <i>Sw<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>ft</i> can do it now a-days.</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>But you, nor I, or them, can ever boast,</p> +<p>There ever was in <i>Europe</i> such a Toast;</p> +<p>All we can say, is, <i>Lucy</i> rules the Roast.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">19</span> +<span class = "folionum">D2</span> +<h5>At a Place not to be recorded.</h5> + +<p>A d<span class = "hyphen">---</span>d confounded Bitch,</p> +<p>Ugly and cunning as a Witch.</p> +<p>Her Bill shall be preferr’d by Law;</p> +<p>The House we wish we’d never saw.</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +One Pound five and ten Pence;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Grant her Repentance;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +We’ll never come here again;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And let her alone remain.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +J. S.<br> +R. S. 17 July.<br> +1722. very truly.</p> + + +<p>I do not complain of my <i>Phillis</i>,</p> +<p>Because I know what her proud Will is;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +For I know how she’ll rant,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And I know what I want;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +G<span class = "hyphen">--</span>d d<span class = "hyphen">---</span>n +her old Aunt;</p> +<p>I stand here, and wait for her, <span class = "smallcaps">That</span> +<i>still is</i>.</p> + + +<h5>On a beautiful Sempstress, in a Window at Charing-Cross.</h5> + +<p><i>Dolly</i>, with Beauty and Art,</p> +<p>Has so hemm’d in my Heart,</p> +<p>That I cannot resist the Charm.</p> +<p class = "inset"> +In Revenge I will stitch</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Up the Hole near her Breach,</p> +<p>With a Needle as long as my Arm.</p> + +<p class = "author">R.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">20</span> +<h5 class = "long">Two Girls at a Bar, that would do’t, and one +Gentleman would chatter too long.</h5> + +<p>What the Devil should we meddle</p> +<p>With diddle daddle, fiddle faddle;</p> +<p>We shall lose the Girls that please;</p> +<p>Go to Bed, and take your Ease.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +M. C. to his Friend.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose">I know they’ll ease you both, for I have been aboard +of them.</p> + +<p class = "author">R. C.</p> + + +<p class = "first"> +I shall tell best at the next Meeting:</p> +<p>The Proof of the Pudding is in the eating.</p> + + +<h5>Blue Posts, Charing-Cross.</h5> + +<p>Use me friendly, use me kind;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +I’ll be the kindest of my Sex;</p> +<p>I’ll love, be constant, and you’ll find,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +I’ll be your own in <i>Middlesex</i>.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Molly Sh<span class = "dash">——</span>r.</i></p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Take care you keep her Country to yourself.</p> + +<p class = "author">M. L.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">21</span> + +<h5>Red Lion at Egham.</h5> + +<p>I <i>watch</i> and <i>pray</i> for dearest <i>Nancy</i>,</p> +<p>Because I always love her Fancy;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +But then there comes,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Like Bailiff Bums,</p> +<p>The <i>Watch</i> with Lights we <i>can see</i>;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And then she’ll pray,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And I must pay,</p> +<p>And retreat as clean as a Tansey.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>For Money one may whore,</p> +<p>And I’ll say no more.<span class = "dash">——</span></p> + +<p class = "author">R. T.</p> + + +<h5>At the same Place.</h5> + +<p>I am a young Thing, just come from my Mammy.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +S. L.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten</h5> + +<p>Then you want to be kiss’d, G<span class = "hyphen">--</span>d d<span +class = "hyphen">---</span>n ye.</p> + +<p class = "author">Captain R. T.</p> + + +<h5>Bull-and-Mouth-Street.</h5> + +<p>If Virtue rules the Minds of Women,</p> +<p>They’ll never let you touch their Linnen;</p> +<p>But if they are not Virtue Proof,</p> +<p>Then you may kiss them oft enough.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">22</span> + +<h5>Uxbridge, at the Crown.</h5> + +<p><i>Molley</i> came up to Town precise,</p> +<p>Demure, yet fire in her Eyes;</p> +<p>So did she look confounded civil;</p> +<p>With Grace and Beauty like a Devil;</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>But soon her Eyes drew in some Hearts,</p> +<p>And some <i>Things else</i> like <i>Cupid</i>’s Darts,</p> +<p>Which gave her Pains, and many Smarts.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Thou Puppy, <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p>The Fire of her Eyes occasioned the Flame of her Heart,</p> +<p>And drew the Fire to her lower Part.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>R. L.</i></p> + + +<h5>From the same Place.</h5> + +<p>After a tedious Journey, and my Supper,</p> +<p>And dam<span class = "dash">——</span>d uneasy with my +Crupper,</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p><i>Jenney</i> came up to warm my Bed,</p> +<p>A pretty Girl; but I was dead,</p> +<p>Or else I’d had her Maidenhead.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>R. T.</i></p> + + +<h5>Swan at Uxbridge.</h5> + +<p>Who’s been here,</p> +<p>The Devil I fear;</p> +<p>For he’s left the Bottles clear.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>R. Est<span class = +"dash">——</span>n</i>, 1710.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +’Twas so; for nothing so like the Devil as an empty Bottle.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>G. S.</i> 1711.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">23</span> + +<h5>Boghouse at Uxbridge.</h5> + +<p>If a Man should breathe backwards, and happens to stink,</p> +<p>You may say, if you will, it is natural <i>Instinct</i>.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +You may quibble upon the Word <i>Instinct</i>, if you will; but I think +’tis better out than in, considering the Case.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>I. M.</i> of <i>Oxon.</i></p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Betty Careless, her Prayers: From her Chambers in +Drury-Lane, on a Wall, written with a Piece of Charcoal.</h5> + +<p>Grant us good lusty Men, ye gracious Pow’rs!</p> +<p>Or else stop up those craving Things of ours!</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">From the Plough Ale-House in Fore-Street, near +Cripplegate, written upon a Wall.</h5> + +<p>Good Bread and Meat, strong Beer withal,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Will make a <ins class = "correction" title = +"shown as printed">T d</ins> more lasting;</p> +<p>Therefore I think he is a Fool,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That goes out in a Morning fasting.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Tom. Rudge.</i></p> + +<p class = "prose"> +We suppose he wants to eternize his Memory by eating a Breakfast.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum part2">24</span> + +<p class = "first"> +When I lay with my bouncing <i>Nell</i>,</p> +<p>I gave her an Inch, and she took an Ell:</p> +<p>But I think in this Case it was damnable hard,</p> +<p>When I gave her an Inch, she’d want more than a Yard.</p> + + +<h5>Hampstead, at the Flask.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +Nothing so certain as the Uncertainties of this Life, <i>says one of the +Greek Philosophers</i>.</p> + + +<h5>Hoxton, on a Wall.</h5> + +<p>What Difference between Kings T<span class = "hyphen">---</span>ds +and mine?</p> +<p>One may be costive, one be full of Slime;</p> +<p>Yet equally will any Hog that feeds,</p> +<p>Produce good Pork by feeding on our Needs.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>You nasty Dog, you may eat your Pork yourself.</p> + + +<h5>Hampstead, at the Flask.</h5> + +<p>Tell me why, ye gen’rous Swains?</p> +<p>Tell me, ye Nymphs upon the Plains?</p> +<p>Why does <i>Sylvia</i> leave the Green?</p> +<p>Has she done any Thing obscene?</p> +<p>They all reply’d, Your <i>Sylvia</i>’s gone;</p> +<p>For she will do’t with ev’ry one.</p> + + +<h5>From the Red Lyon at Egham.</h5> + +<p>She that thinks upon her Honour,</p> +<p>Needs no other Guard upon her.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">25</span> +<span class = "folionum">E</span> + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>She that has a Man upon her,</p> +<p>Never thinks upon her Honour.</p> + + +<h5>In Trinity College Boghouse, Dublin.</h5> + +<p>You who instead of Fodder, Fingers use,</p> +<p>Pray lick ’em clean, and don’t this Wall abuse.</p> + + +<h5>Under which is written;</h5> + +<p>These House-of-Office Poets, by the L<span class = +"hyphen">---</span>d,</p> +<p>Instead of Laurel, should be crown’d with T<span class = +"hyphen">---</span>d.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">In a Window, at the Sign of the Four Crosses, on the +Road to West Chester.</h5> + +<p>Host! wou’d you paint your Crosses to the Life,</p> +<p>Pull down your Sign, and then hang up your Wife.</p> + + +<h5>On A Window at Canbury-House.</h5> + +<p>The Breast of ev’ry <i>British</i> Fair,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Like this bright, brittle, slippery Glass,</p> +<p>A Diamond makes Impression there,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Though on the Finger of an Ass.</p> + + +<h5>On a Person of Quality’s Boghouse.</h5> + +<p>Good Lord! who could think,</p> +<p>That such fine Folks should stink?</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">26</span> + +<h5>On a Window at Bushy-Hall, Hertfordshire.</h5> + +<p>Love is like Blindman’s Buff, where we pursue,</p> +<p>We know not what we catch, we know not who;</p> +<p>And when we grasp our Wish, what Prize is won?</p> +<p>Our Eyes are open’d, and the Play is done.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Some Love Verses being first written on a Window in +Brook-Street, and scratched out, occasioned the following:</h5> + +<p>Good grave Papa, you hope in vain,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +By blotting this to mend her;</p> +<p>She who writes Love upon the Pane,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Will soon leap out at Window.</p> + + +<h5>On the Middle Temple Boghouse.</h5> + +<p>Well sung of Yore, a Bard of Wit,</p> +<p>That some Folks read, but all Folks sh<span class = +"hyphen">---</span>t;</p> +<p>But now the Case is alter’d quite,</p> +<p>Since all who come to Boghouse write.</p> + + +<h5>On the same Place.</h5> + +<p>Because they cannot eat, some Authors write;</p> +<p>And some, it seems, because they cannot sh<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>te.</p> + + +<h5>On a Glass at the Devil Tavern, Temple-Bar.</h5> + +<p>The stubborn Glass no Character receives,</p> +<p>Except the Stamp the piercing Brilliant gives.</p> +<p>A female Heart thus no Impression takes,</p> +<p>But what the Lover tipp’d with Diamond makes.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">27</span> + +<h5>At Launder’s Coffee-House, in the Old Play-House Passage.</h5> + +<p>Dear <i>Pat</i>, ’tis vain to patch or paint,</p> +<p>Since still a fragrant Breath you want;</p> +<p>For though well furnish’d, yet all Folks</p> +<p>Despise a Room whose Chimney smokes.</p> + + +<h5>White-Hart at Watford.</h5> + +<p align = "center">Parody of four Lines of <i>Dryden</i>.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Glass with a Diamond does our Wit betray;</p> +<p>Who can write sure on that smooth slippery Way?</p> +<p>Pleas’d with our scribling we cut swiftly on,</p> +<p>And see the Nonsense, which we cannot shun.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at the Kings-Arms Tavern, Fleet-Street.</h5> + +<p>Both mine and Women’s Fate you’ll judge from hence ill,</p> +<p>That we are pierc’d by ev’ry Coxcomb’s Pencil.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written in a Window at a private House, by a +desponding Lover in the Presence of his Mistress.</h5> + +<p>This Glass, my Fair’s the Emblem of your Mind,</p> +<p>Which brittle, slipp’ry, pois’nous oft we find.</p> + + +<h5>Her Answer underneath.</h5> + +<p>I must confess, kind Sir, that though this Glass,</p> +<p>Can’t prove me brittle, it proves you an Ass.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part2">28</span> + +<h5>Sent by an unknown Hand.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +O ye Powers above!</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +Who of Mortals take Care,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Make Women less cruel,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +More fond, or less fair.</p> +<p>Was <i>Helen</i> half so fair, so form’d for Joy,</p> +<p>Well fought the <i>Trojan</i>, and well burnt was <i>Troy</i>.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h4 class = "extended"><i>FINIS.</i></h4> + +</div> + +<hr> + +<a name = "partIII" id = "partIII"> </a> +<div class = "title"> + +<h5>THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT:</h2> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h4>Glaſs-Window and Bog-Houſe</h4> + +<h4 class = "smallcaps extended">Miscellany.</h4> + +<h6>Taken from</h6> + +<p class = "hanging"> +The Original Manuscripts written in <i>Diamond</i> by Persons of the +first Rank and Figure in <i>Great Britain</i>; relating to Love, +Matrimony, Drunkenness, Sobriety, Ranting, Scandal, Politicks, Gaming, +and many other Subjects, <i>Serious</i> and <i>Comical</i>.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "hanging"> +Faithfully Transcribed from the Drinking-Glasses and Windows in the +several noted <i>Taverns</i>, <i>Inns</i>, and other <i>Publick +Places</i> in this Nation. Amongst which are intermixed the Lucubrations +of the polite Part of the World, written upon Walls in Bog-houses, +<i>&c.</i></p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><i>Published by</i> <span class = "extended">HURLO +THRUMB</span>O.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>Gameyorum, Wildum, Gorum,<br> +Gameyorum a Gamy,<br> +Flumarum a Flumarum,<br> +A Rigdum Bollarum<br> +A Rigdum, for a little Gamey.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset5"> +Bethlehem-Wall, Moor-Fields.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><span class = "extended">PART</span> III.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5 class = "extended"><i>LONDON:</i></h5> + +<h5>Printed for <span class = "smallcaps extended">J. Roberts</span> in +<i>Warwick-Lane</i>; and Sold by the Booksellers in Town and Country. + [Price 6 <i>d.</i>]</h5> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr class = "full"> +<hr class = "full"> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<h5 class = "extended">THE</h5> + +<h1 class = "extended">PREFACE.</h1> + + +<p><span class = "firstword"> +<span class = "fourlines">T</span>his</span> +is purposely to acknowledge the Obligations I owe to several Gentlemen, +who have shewn their Esteem of the <span class = "smallcaps">Merry +Thought</span>, in the large Collections they have communicated before +the Holidays: For who knows, but many of their Pieces might have been +lost, by the Effects of Wine, Punch, and strong Beer, in the +<i>Christmas</i> Time; or by a Game at Ramps, or Blind-Man’s-Buff; or +unlucky Boys; or the sticking the Windows with Holley and Ivy: All these +Hazards did we run of having many curious Pieces destroy’d, and bury’d +in Oblivion. And then again, the Cleaning the Windows against the +Holidays might have endanger’d the Loss of many of these brittle Leaves +of Wit and Learning. But now, we may sing <i>Old Rose</i>, since a large +Cargoe is already arriv’d safe at the Press. In order for a third Part, +I have myself taken Care to visit most of the Glasiers in Town +where I just came Time enough to save some few Scraps of Wit; and have +bribed a great Number of Football-Players, not to use that Diversion +near some particular Places about this Great City, where many curious +Epigrams, Sonnets, and Whims, are at present uncopy’d; and if they +should escape a few Days longer, will make a fourth Volume, with the +kind Assistance of those Correspondents who have sent me promissory +Notes for the Delivery of certain Parcels of such Wit, on or about the +Twenty-fifth of this Instant <i>January</i>. I remain, Gentlemen, +after hoping you are in good Health, as I am at this present Writing, +and wishing you all many happy Years,</p> + +<h5><i>Your obliged humble Servant,</i></h5> + +<h4 class = "smallcaps space">Hurlo Thrumbo.</h4> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr class = "full"> +<hr class = "full"> + +<span class = "pagenum part3">1</span> +<span class = "folionum">B</span> + +<h5 class = "extended">THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT.</h2> + +<h4><span class = "extended">PART</span> III.</h4> + + +<p class = "space">Mr. <i>BOG</i>,</p> + +<p> +<span class = "firstword"><span class = "twolines">T</span>he</span> +following <i>Miscellanea Curiosa</i> you may either insert in your third +Part, or use them for your latter Part; which you please.</p> + +<div class = "poem"> + +<h5>From a Window at the Angel in Marlborough.</h5> + +<p><i>W<span class = "dash">——</span>s</i> lay at the +<i>Angel</i> in <i>Marlborough</i> Town,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And an Angel lay with him all Night:</p> +<p>He tipp’d her an Angel before she lay down,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Which you know was but decent and right.</p> +<p>But an Angel of Darkness she prov’d to be sure;</p> +<p>For scarce twenty Angels would pay for his Cure.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written on the Wall at the George in Sandy-Lane, in +the Bath Road, a Place famous for Puddings.</h5> + +<p>The Puddings are so good in <i>Sandy-Lane</i>,</p> +<p>That if I chance to go that Way again,</p> +<p>I’ll not be satisfy’d, unless I’ve twain,</p> +<p>The one stuck thick with Plumbs, the other plain.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">2</span> + +<h5 class = "long">At the Sun-Tavern at Billingsgate, written on the +Wainscot.</h5> + +<p>Upon the Ground he spread his Cloak;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The Nymph she was not shy, Sir;</p> +<p>And there they fairly did the Joke,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Whilst through this Crack peep’d I, Sir.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Oct.</i> 27, 1722.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Mr. Pimp, had I known your Worship was there,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Which I no more dreamt of, than sleeping,</p> +<p>When once I’d dispatch’d my Affair with the Fair,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +By G<span class = "dash">——</span>d, you’d paid dear for +your Peeping.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Dec.</i> 1722.</p> + + +<h5>At the Red-Lion, Shrewsbury.</h5> + +<p>The Drawer, <i>Tom</i>, has scarce forgot,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Since I was here last <i>Easter</i>;</p> +<p>I broke his Head with the Pewter Pot,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And gave him not a Teaster.</p> +<p>But why, d’ye think, I serv’d him so?</p> +<p class = "inset"> +What Flesh alive could bear it?</p> +<p>I’d call’d a dozen Times, I trow,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Yet the Dog would bring no Claret.</p> +<p>This Discipline was not in vain,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +For h’as his Manners mended;</p> +<p>I’ve been here twenty Times since then,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And always well attended.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">3</span> +<span class = "folionum">B2</span> + +<h5>From a Window in Carlisle, the Sign forgot.</h5> + +<p>How says the Proverb, can it e’er be thought,</p> +<p>What’s bred i’th’ Bone can out o’the Flesh be brought:</p> +<p>Her Mother kiss’d with every one, and <i>Moll</i> does plainly shew +her;</p> +<p>For <i>Molly</i> kind is kiss’d by none, but only all that know +her.</p> + +<p class = "author">I. S. 1718.</p> + + +<h5>From another Pane in the same Place.</h5> + +<p>As dear <i>N<span class = "dash">——</span>y B<span class += "dash">——</span>k</i> look’d into the Street,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +From this Window where now I am musing,</p> +<p>I poop’d her behind, but no Body see’t,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And she prov’d ne’er the worse for my using.</p> + +<p class = "author">T. B.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>Ungrateful Wretch, thou’rt scarcely fit to live,</p> +<p>Much less such Favours worthy to receive.</p> +<p>A greater Curse than leading Apes in Hell,</p> +<p>The Fool deserves, that dares to kiss and tell.</p> + + +<h5>On the next Pane.</h5> + +<p>Dear Madam, pray dont let your Anger abound,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +For Faith what you’ve wrote has no Charm in’t;</p> +<p>You often have try’d me, and know I am sound,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Then prithee now where was the Harm in’t?</p> +<p>You did me a favour, I did you one too,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And, if I’m not mistaken, a greater;</p> +<p>I’ll swear I can’t love the Sport better than you,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +So pray say no more of the Matter.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">4</span> + +<h5>In a Bog-House, at the Bush at Carlisle, <em>1718</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset"> +Reader,</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Within this Place two Ways I’ve been delighted;</p> +<p>For here I’ve s<span class = "dash">——</span>, and +likewise here have sh<span class = "dash">——</span>d.</p> +<p>They both are healthful, Nature’s Ease require ’em</p> +<p>And though you grin, I fancy you desire ’em.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>What Beast alive, could bear to s<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p class = "inset"> +In such a filthy Hole as this is;</p> +<p>The nauseous Stink, might, one would think,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Disturb his Taste for amorous Kisses.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>This was wrote by some Beau, the Fop you may know,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +His squeamish Exception would make one believe it;</p> +<p>Though the Smell where we sh<span class = +"dash">——</span>t, is not grateful a Bit,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Yet I ne’er knew a C<span class = "dash">——</span>y that +favour’d of Civet.</p> + + +<h5>Oxon, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>Knowledge, thou Darling of the Soul,</p> +<p>Be thou my Help-Mate o’er a flowing Bowl;</p> +<p>Then will my Time slide easily along,</p> +<p>And ev’ry gen’rous Mortal grace our Song.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">5</span> + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +D<span class = "dash">——</span>n your Knowledge, says +Captain <i>Blunt</i>, swear, drink, and smoke, and you’re an honest +Fellow.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Feb.</i> 13, 1720.</p> + + +<h5>At the Devices, Wiltshire.</h5> + +<p><i>Peggy</i> came in with a smiling Face,</p> +<p>And every Feature had its Grace:</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Her Cheeks were blooming, as I’d wish to see;</p> +<p>Her something else above her Knee,</p> +<p>Fill’d all my Mind with Extasy;</p> +<p>And so we went to’t.</p> + +<p class = "author">L. T.</p> + + +<h5>Bath, on Harrison’s Windows.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +I kiss’d her standing,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +Kiss’d her lying,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Kiss’d her in Health,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +And kiss’d her dying;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And when she mounts <i>the Skies</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +I’ll kiss her flying.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "inset5">Well said, my Boy.</p> + +<p class = "author">R. S.</p> + + +<h5>Witney, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>Debauch’d by <i>Henry Rig</i>,</p> +<p>Who gave me a Jigg,</p> +<p>But not one Grigg:</p> +<p>Howe’er he ran his Rigg.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">6</span> +<p>But if ever I touch a Man again,</p> +<p>Unless in Matrimonial Chain,</p> +<p>I’ll rather suffer craving Pain,</p> +<p>I think; <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> Or take it once again.</p> +<p>For t’has set me a longing.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Anne S<span class = +"dash">——</span>te.</i></p> + + +<h5>At the same Place.</h5> + +<p>Give me the Lass who has a Taste of Love;</p> +<p>She I will kiss luxuriously, by <i>Jove</i>;</p> +<p>But when I meet a Woman’s cold Embrace,</p> +<p>She baulks my Love; and she may kiss my A<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>Oxon, Merton-College, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>Bright is my <i>Silvia</i>, when she’s drest;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +When naked, cloath’d with wond’rous Charms:</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Her Mein has oft my Heart opprest;</p> +<p>Her Nakedness I have possest;</p> +<p>And by the last I am distrest,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +By the Embraces of her Arms.</p> +<p>What can we Mortals say of Love?</p> +<p>Why? ’Tis the Pleasure of the Gods above:</p> +<p>But then, if Cl-ps proceed from Love,</p> +<p>How hot are all the Gods and Goddesses above!</p> +<p>A fine Reward, for Love for Love!</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose"> +Avoid the Thunder-Cl<span class = "hyphen">‑</span>ps, and +After-Cl<span class = "hyphen">‑</span>ps, says <i>Jove</i>.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">7</span> + +<h5 class = "long">A young Lady, who hang’d herself, left the following +Lines upon the Table.</h5> + +<p>O Death! thou pleasing End of human Woe!</p> +<p>Thou Cure of Life, thou best of Things below!</p> +<p>May’st thou for ever shun the Coward Slave,</p> +<p>And thy soft Slumbers only ease the Brave!</p> + + +<h5>At the Bull-Inn, at Ware.</h5> + +<h5>On Miss J<span class = "dash">——</span>s.</h5> + +<p>My Good or Ill in her alone is found,</p> +<p>And in that Thought all other Cares are drown’d.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>R. G<span class = +"dash">——</span>ll.</i></p> + + +<h5>Woodstock, in a Window.</h5> + +<p>Have you not in a Chimney seen</p> +<p>A sullen Faggot, wet and green,</p> +<p>How coyly it receives the Heat,</p> +<p>And at both Ends doth fume and sweat;</p> +<p>So fares it with the harmless Maid</p> +<p>When first upon her Back she’s laid.</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But the kind experienc’d Dame</p> +<p>Cracks and rejoices in the Flame.</p> + + +<h5>Merton-College, Oxon, in a Window.</h5> + +<h6>A new Reading about the three Children in the Fiery Furnace. From +the Hebrew.</h6> + +<p class = "first"> +<i>Shadrack</i>, <i>Mashac</i>, and <i>Abednego</i>:</p> +<p>If <i>Shadrac</i> had a Fever and Ague,</p> + +<p class = "inset2 first"> +Then read in <i>English</i>,</p> + +<p class = "first"> +<i>Shadrack may shake, and a bed may go.</i></p> + +<p class = "author">R. F.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">8</span> + +<h5>Star, at Coventry.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +What Lacing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Dressing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Moulding,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Scolding,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Painting,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Fainting,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Loving,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Shoving,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Cooing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Wooing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Crosses,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Tosses,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Actions,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Fractions,</p> +<p>Before the Day was done.</p> + + +<h5>Salisbury, on a Window.</h5> + +<p class = "inset"> +My Dear, like a Candle,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Lights every one’s Handle,</p> +<p>Yet loses no Bit of her own:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +She will piss, and she’ll kiss</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Until every one hiss,</p> +<p>And she better had stay’d at Home.</p> + +<p class = "inset3"> +As she lost nothing by it, she may still remain a Light to the +World.</p> + + +<h5>Anagram.</h5> + +<p>A Toast is like a Sot,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Or what is most</p> +<p>Comparable <span class = "dash">——</span> a Sot,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +<span class = "dash">——</span> Is like a Toast;</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">9</span> +<span class = "folionum">C</span> +<p>For When their Substance</p> +<p class = "inset"> +In the Liquor sink,</p> +<p>Both properly are said</p> +<p class = "inset"> +To be in Drink.</p> + + +<h5>Christ-Church, Oxon, in the Bog-House.</h5> + +<p>Calami hujus Etatis</p> +<p>Sunt hujus Etatis calamitates.</p> + + +<h5>Calais, at the Silver Lion.</h5> + +<p>At the Foot of a Bed where a Woman lay dying,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A Parcel of Gossips in Council were sat;</p> +<p>And instead of good Prayers, condoling and crying,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A <i>Thing</i> was the Subject of all the Debate.</p> +<p>One wish’d for a thick one, and swore ’twas the best,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Altho’ ’twere as short to the full as her Snout;</p> +<p>But a small One procur’d the Applause of the rest,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Provided in Length the Defect were made out.</p> +<p>Hold, quoth the sick Sister, you are all in the Wrong,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +So I’ll in a Case of this Weight to decide,</p> +<p>Heav’n send me at once both the Thick and the Long;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +So closing her pious Petition, she dy’d.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written on the pillory in a certain Market-Town in +Shropshire; on two Millers, named Bone and Skin, who exacted extravagant +Toll.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +Bone and Skin,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Two Millers thin,</p> +<p>Would grind this Town and Places near it:</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">10</span> +<p class = "inset2"> +But be it known</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +To Skin and Bone,</p> +<p>That Flesh and Blood won’t bear it.</p> + + +<h5>Richmond, Yorkshire, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>If Death doth come as soon as Breath departs;</p> +<p>Then he must often die, who often farts:</p> +<p>And if to die be but to lose one’s Breath;</p> +<p>Then Death’s a Fart, and so a Fart for Death.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">The Motto upon a Sign of a Gardiner’s Window, who +kept a Publick House in the Road to Cambridge; inserted for the Benefit +of bad Spellers.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +Heer is good Liker</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Ov awl Quinds toby sould,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And sevile Yewzitch.</p> + +<p class = "prose first"> +The Learned have examin’d the above Inscription: Some took it for +Gibberish; others for <i>Welch</i>; and some for one of the Eastern +Languages; but a Gentlewoman of extraordinary Knowledge in this cramp +Way of Writing, tells us, it must be read thus, in <i>English</i>:</p> + +<p class = "inset2 first"> +Here is good Liquor</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Of all Kinds to be sold,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And civil Usage.</p> + +<p class = "prose first"> +And so we believe it was meant; for it is allow’d by all, that some few +of the fair Sex can explain bad Sense and bad Spelling, even better than +most of the Heads of the Universities.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">11</span> +<span class = "folionum">C2</span> +<h5>Oxford, in a Window at Christ-Church.</h5> + +<p> +Anger may glance into the Breast of wise Men:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But it rests in the Bosom of Fools.</p> + + +<h5>From the Same Place.</h5> + +<p>True Friendship multiplies our Joys;</p> +<p>It mends our Griefs, and makes them light as Toys.</p> + + +<h5>From Queen’s-College, Oxon.</h5> + +<p>All that we know of what is done above,</p> +<p>Is, that the Blessed sing, and that they love.</p> + + +<h5>Rue de Boucharie.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +Amasser en Saison,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Dispenser par Raison,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Et vous aurez une bonne Maison.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at an Inn on the West Country Road.</h5> + +<p>The Cook, confound her, boil’d no Roots;</p> +<p>The Hostler never clean’d my Boots;</p> +<p>The Tapster too, would hardly stir;</p> +<p>The Drawer was a lazy Cur;</p> +<p>The Chamberlain had made no Bed;</p> +<p>The Host had Maggots in his Head:</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>But <i>Millicent</i>, who kept the Bar,</p> +<p>Was worse than all the rest by far;</p> +<p>She was as many others are.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">12</span> +<p>I kiss’d her till she had her Fill,</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>I thought it Love, and with her Will.</p> +<p>But then <span class = "dash">——</span> <span class = +"dash">——</span> <span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>She made a da<span class = "dash">——</span>n’d confounded +Bill.</p> + +<p class = "author">Captain R. T. 1718.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p align = "center">See the Bill Gentlemen.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Thrice was I reckon’d for my Meat;</p> +<p>Thrice was I reckon’d for Miss <i>Milly</i>’s treat;</p> +<p>Thrice was I reckon’d for my dirty Boots;</p> +<p>Thrice was I reckon’d for not having Roots;</p> +<p>Thrice was I reckon’d by the lazy Fellows;</p> +<p>And thrice I swore, I wish’d them at the Gallows;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And if I come here any more,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Then call me a Son of a Whore.</p> + +<p class = "author">R. T. 1718.</p> + + +<h5>Rue D’Auphine, at Paris.</h5> + +<p>O Quelle Grand Traison!</p> +<p>Les Couillions que je porte</p> +<p>Lors que leur Maître est en prison</p> +<p>Ces Gallans d’ausant a la porte.</p> + +<p class = "prose first"> +N. B. <i>This is not render’d into <em>English</em>, but ’tis +Ingratitude enough for two Servants, that have been well entertained a +long while by their Master, should dance about a Prison Door, while +their Master is in it.</i></p> + + +<h5>On a Window at the Ram, Newmarket.</h5> + +<p>Come hither, dearest, sweetest Turtle-Dove;</p> +<p>You are my Goddess.—You alone I love.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">13</span> +<p>At Night, whene’er I close my Eyes to Rest,</p> +<p>I dream of laying in your snow-white Breast.</p> +<p>But oft oppress’d with Grief and pensive Care,</p> +<p>I to enjoy such Happiness despair.</p> +<p>O wretched me! Celestial Pow’rs above!</p> +<p>O mighty Jove! what must I die for Love!</p> +<p>If you’re inclin’d to cure the Wound you gave,</p> +<p>Come quick, relieve, and save me from the Grave.</p> + + +<h5>Her Answer.</h5> + +<p>Unhappy Youth, pray trouble not your Mind,</p> +<p>By mighty <i>Jove</i>, I swear I will be kind.</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>I swear by <i>Venus</i>, and the Pow’rs above;</p> +<p>By <i>Cupid</i>’s Darts, and all the Joys of Love,</p> +<p>To thee my Youth, my Swain, I’ll ever constant prove.</p> + + +<h5>Bog-House at Epsom-Wells.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Privies are now Receptacles of Wit,</p> +<p>And every Fool that hither comes to sh<span class = +"dash">——</span>t,</p> +<p>Affects to write what other Fools have writ.</p> + + +<h5>Rain-Deer, Bishop-Stafford.</h5> + +<p>Hail charming Maid! hail my enchanting Fair,</p> +<p>Thy Beauty’s such, what Mortal can forbear?</p> +<p>Have Pity on a Youth’s despairing Cries,</p> +<p>Compassion shew, or else your Lover dies.</p> +<p>O that I but one good Enjoyment had!</p> +<p>Grant it me soon, or else I shall go mad.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">14</span> + +<h5>Her Answer.</h5> + +<p>Alas! poor Youth, if you go mad for Love,</p> +<p>Seek your Relief from mighty <i>Jove</i> above.</p> +<p>No Cure I have, my Body’s chaste and pure;</p> +<p>A wandering Youth I never can endure.</p> + + +<h5>Pancras-Wells.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3"> +I have had a Cl<span class = "hyphen">-</span>p,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +By a sad Mishap;</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +But the Doctor has cur’d it,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +And I’ve endur’d it.</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +The B<span class = "hyphen">-</span>ch that gave it me,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +She is gone over Sea.</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +G<span class = "hyphen">-</span>d d<span class = "hyphen">-</span>n her +A<span class = "hyphen">-</span>se,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +That fir’d my T<span class = "hyphen">-</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>Peacock, Northampton.</h5> + +<p>I love dear <i>Betty</i>, and <i>Betty</i> loves me;</p> +<p>And it shall not be long before marry’d we be.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>If you must make a Rhime upon your Lass,</p> +<p>I’ll make another<span class = "dash">——</span>Rhimer +kiss my A<span class = "hyphen">-</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>Boar’s-Head, Smithfield.</h5> + +<p>D<span class = "hyphen">-</span>n their Doublets, and confound their +Breeches,</p> +<p>There’s none besh<span class = "hyphen">-</span>t the Wall but Sons +of B<span class = "hyphen">-</span>ches.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">15</span> +<p>May the <i>French</i> P<span class = "hyphen">--</span>x, and the +D<span class = "hyphen">--</span>vil take ’em all,</p> +<p>That besh<span class = "hyphen">-</span>t their Fingers, and wipe +them on the Wall.</p> + + +<h5>Lambeth-Wells Bog-House.</h5> + +<h6>Supposed to be wrote by one who had a great Antipathy to +Tobacco.</h6> + +<p>This is a Place that’s very fitting,</p> +<p>To p<span class = "hyphen">--</span>ss, and f<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>rt, to smoke, and sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t +in.</p> + + +<h5>From a Window in a Great House in Lincoln’s-Inn-Fields.</h5> + +<p>A good Wife is like a Turtle that bills and cooes, and turns up her +T<span class = "dash">——</span>l to her Husband.</p> + + +<h5>Kings-Head, Beaconsfield.</h5> + +<p>In Spring the Fields, in Autumn Hills, I love;</p> +<p>At Morn the Plains, at Noon the shady Grove;</p> +<p>But <i>Delia</i> always, forc’d from <i>Delia</i>’s Sight,</p> +<p>Nor Fields, nor Hills, nor Plains, nor Groves delight.</p> + + +<h5>At the same Place, 1731.</h5> + +<p>Love in Fashion, is Copulation.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Le H<span class = +"dash">——</span>p.</i></p> + + +<h5>At the same Place.</h5> + +<p>The Brave and Wise would never hug</p> +<p>The chearful Bottle and the Jug,</p> +<p>Were not good Liquor in its Season,</p> +<p>An useful Spur to human Reason.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Probatum est</i>, W. T.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">16</span> + +<h5>At Rumford, in a Window.</h5> + +<p>There’s Nothing sure can vex a Woman more</p> +<p>Than to hear the Feats of Love, and be Threescore.</p> + + +<h5>Written on a Looking-Glass, in the Rue Boucharie, Paris.</h5> + +<p>Le Mond est plein de fous, & qui n’en veut point voir,</p> +<p>Doit demeurer tout seul, & casser son meroir.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +The World is full of Fools and Asses,</p> +<p>To see them not<span class = "dash">——</span> retire and +break your Glasses.</p> + + +<h5>Oxon, in a Bog-House.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +With such violent Rage,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Sir <i>John</i> did engage</p> +<p>With the Damsel which he laid his Leg on,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +That his Squire, who stood near,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Swore it look’d like the Spear</p> +<p>Of St. <i>George</i> in the Mouth of the Dragon.</p> + + +<h5>On a Drinking-Glass.</h5> + +<p>Guard well your Credit, for ’tis quickly gone:</p> +<p>’Tis gain’d by many Actions, lost by one.</p> + + +<h5>At York, in a Window.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>When Mr. <i>H<span class = "dash">——</span></i> was +chosen Mayor,</p> +<p>We thought our Peace stood very fair,</p> +<p>And hollow’d when he took the Chair.</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>But see how Mortals may prove civil,</p> +<p>They change their State from Good to Evil:</p> +<p>Set a Beggar on Horseback, he’ll ride to the Devil.</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +And so it prov’d.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">17</span> +<span class = "folionum">D</span> +<h5>From a Window in Yorkshire.</h5> + +<p>Sir <span class = "dash">——</span> was chosen our +Recorder,</p> +<p>Hoping he’d put our Wrongs in Order:</p> +<p>But, in Truth, the young Gentleman prov’d such a Rake,</p> +<p>That he kiss’d all our Wives, and made all our Heads ake.</p> + + +<h5>Uxbridge, the Crown.</h5> + +<p><i>Puns</i> have two evil Ends:</p> +<p>Sometimes they gain us Foes,</p> +<p>Sometimes they make us lose</p> +<p class = "inset6">our Friends.</p> + + +<h5>At Epping, in a Window.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>What care I, to acknowledge my Lord was my Father?</p> +<p>To inherit his Fortune and Weakness together;</p> +<p>If a Porter had got me with Health, I’d much rather.</p> + + +<h5>Rebus on Miss Jane Mar-tin.</h5> + +<p>To <i>spoil</i> the <i>Cornish Ore</i>,</p> +<p>Names the <ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads ‘Npmph’">Nymph</ins> that I adore.</p> + + +<h5>Rebus on Miss Bell-a-dine.</h5> + +<p>What in a Steeple bears a Sound?</p> +<p>What in the Horn-Book first is found;</p> +<p>And eat the Meal of glorious Noon;</p> +<p>Give me, Great <i>Jove</i>, this Lady soon,</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">18</span> +<p>Whose Name the first three Lines explain:</p> +<p>Her Love’s my Life, my Death is her Disdain.</p> + + +<h5>On Miss Hatt-on.</h5> + +<p>The Pride of Quaker <i>John</i></p> +<p>Names the Nymph I dote upon.</p> + + +<h5>Miss Willson.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>What e’er a Woman wishes most,</p> +<p>And that which marry’d People boast,</p> +<p>Speaks the dear Charmer, who’s my Toast.</p> + + +<h5>Miss Hutch-in-son.</h5> + +<p>The Place were Rabbits are confin’d,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The Place where Strangers are refresh’d;</p> +<p>And what best pleas’d my Mother’s Mind,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Tells you the Charmer of my Breast.</p> + + +<h5>Miss Shuttle-worth.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>What a Weaver will toss about all the Day long,</p> +<p>And a Value, whose Praise can’t be nam’d in my Song,</p> +<p>Tells the Name of my Charmer who’s witty and young.</p> + + +<h5>Miss Weathers.</h5> + +<p>Tell me her Name, whose Looks serene</p> +<p>Shew her a Goddess, or a Queen;</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Who, if in turbulent Disguise,</p> +<p>Will make you shudder at her Eyes:</p> +<p>For <i>her</i>, all others I despise.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">19</span> +<span class = "folionum">D2</span> + +<h5>Rebus on Miss Sukey Dart.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Her Name has pierc’d my Heart,</p> +<p>And so we’ll never part;</p> +<p>With her I ne’er can feel a Smart.</p> + + +<h5>Crown at Harlow.</h5> + +<p>Death and Marriage are by Destiny,</p> +<p>And both these Things become a Maiden’s Fee.</p> +<p>Whether they die between a Pair of Sheets,</p> +<p>Or live to marry, they will lose their Wits;</p> +<p>So is it destin’d by the Gods above,</p> +<p>They’ll live and die by what <i>they</i> love.</p> + +<p class = "author">R. T. 1721.</p> + + +<h5>York, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>What signifies your chattering, dearest <i>Nancy</i>,</p> +<p>And swearing d<span class = "hyphen">-</span>n your Blood, to please +your Fancy;</p> +<p>For if your Scruples find that one won’t do,</p> +<p>Z<span class = "dash">——</span>ds, cock, and prime, and +then take two.</p> + +<p class = "author">Captain J. F. 1729.</p> + + +<h5>Uxbridge, <em>1719</em>.</h5> + +<p>Various Religions, several Tenets hold;</p> +<p>Yet all one God acknowledge, which is <i>Gold</i>.</p> + + +<h5>Chester, in a Window, <em>1726</em>.</h5> + +<p>A Fox was drawn in for Cakes and Ale,</p> +<p>And by a fly Stratagem lost his Tail.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part3">20</span> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>’Tis no Matter, says <i>Reynard</i>, by Dint of Persuasion,</p> +<p>I’ll make all my Brethren believe ’tis the Fashion,</p> +<p>Though at the same Time, he was in a d<span class = +"dash">——</span>d Passion.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p><span class = "dash">——</span>Although they all come +in,</p> +<p>There’s none can laugh, but those that win.</p> +<p>New Fashions are Gins that I mortally hate;</p> +<p>I’ll keep my old Fashion, and keep my Estate.</p> +<p class = "inset4"> +No coaxing, no wheedling, good Mr. Fox.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>Recruiting Officer.</i></p> + +<p class = "first"> +Getting is a Chance; but keeping is a Virtue.</p> + + +<h5>Devil-Tavern, <em>1721</em>.</h5> + +<p>Whene’er a Man has gain’d his Ends,</p> +<p>He is encompass’d by his Friends;</p> +<p>But when that Man has lost his All,</p> +<p>And wants his Friends, he’as none at all.</p> + +<span class = "bracket first"> </span> +<p class = "first"> +In gay Prosperity we see,</p> +<p>That ev’ry one will bend the Knee,</p> +<p>And treat you with their Flattery;</p> +<span class = "bracket tall"> </span> +<p>But in a contrary State,</p> +<p>When Gaiety’s destroy’d by Fate,</p> +<p>The Man they lov’d before,</p> +<p><span class = +"dash">————————</span> +They hate.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">In a Bog-House over the Water, at the Spread-Eagle in +Bunny in Nottinghamshire.</h5> + +<p>The nicest Maid, with the whitest Rump,</p> +<p>May sit and sh<span class = "dash">——</span>te, and hear +it plump.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">21</span> + +<h5>On a Glass Window in the same Place.</h5> + +<p>For what did <i>Venus</i> love <i>Adonis</i>,</p> +<p>But for the Gristle, where no Bone is?</p> + + +<h5>In a Bog-House at the Nag’s-Head in Bradmere.</h5> + +<p>The greatest Monarch, when a fighting,</p> +<p>Looks not so great as I, when sh<span class = +"dash">——</span>ting.</p> + + +<h5>In the same Place.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +Such Places as these,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Were made for the Ease</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Of every Fellow in common;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +But a Person who writes</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +On the Wall as he sh<span class = "dash">——</span>tes,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Has a Pleasure far greater than Woman.</p> +<p>For he’s eas’d in his Body, and pleas’d in his Mind,</p> +<p>When he leaves both a T<span class = "dash">——</span>d +and some Verses behind.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>You are eas’d in your Body, and pleas’d in your Mind,</p> +<p>That you leave both a T<span class = "dash">——</span>d +and some Verses behind;</p> +<p>But to me, which is worst, I can’t tell, on my Word,</p> +<p>The reading your Verses, or smelling your T<span class = +"dash">——</span>d.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">22</span> + +<h5>From a Church Door.</h5> + +<h6>On an Eminent Physician’s being called out of Church.</h6> + +<p>Whilst holy Prayers to Heaven were made,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +One soon was heard, and answer’d too,</p> +<p><i>Save us from sudden Death</i>, <ins class = "correction" title = +"text reads ‘wa ssaid’">was said</ins>,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And strait from Church Sir <i>H<span class = +"dash">——</span></i> withdrew.</p> + + +<h5>From the Four Swans at Uxbridge.</h5> + +<p>There’s none but the Vicious, or the Base,</p> +<p>That false Reports can trouble or disgrace:</p> +<p>The virtuous Man must ever stand secure</p> +<p>’Gainst all the Lies which Falsehood can procure:</p> +<p>For a sound Mind or Conscience gives a Peace,</p> +<p>Which to Eternity can never cease.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>E. K.</i></p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p class = "prose">D<span class = "dash">——</span>n your +conscientious Rascals; there’s so few of them in this Age, that a Man +appears singular who is govern’d thereby.</p> + +<p class = "author">Capt. <i>T. R.</i> 1730.</p> + + +<h5>Rumford, on a Window.</h5> + +<p>How shall the Man e’er turn to dust</p> +<p>Who daily wets his Clay.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p class = "inset3">In Dust he may fly</p> +<p class = "inset3">As Fools gallop by,</p> +<p class = "inset3">And no body can say Nay.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">23</span> + +<h5 class = "long"><a name = "song" id = "song"> +The galloping Song, from Newmarket, in the Compass of the +Flute.</a></h5> + +<p>Buxom <i>Joan</i> got on a bald Mare;</p> +<p>she rid ramping on to The Fair, with a Whip and Spur.</p> +<p>Such jogging, such flogging,</p> +<p>Such splashing, such dashing,</p> +<p class = "inset">was ne’er seen there.</p> +<p>Jolly <i>Tom</i>, cry’d out as she Come,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +thou Monkey Face, <!--mid-para break--> +<span class = "pagenum part3">24</span> +Punkey Face,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +lousey Face, Frouzey Face,</p> +<p> +hold thy Hand, Make a Stand, thou’lt be down.</p> +<p>No Sooner <i>Tom.</i> spoke, but Down comes <i>Joan</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +with her Head and Bum up and down,</p> +<p>So that her A<span class = "dash">——</span>se was +shown.</p> +<p>Bald Mare ran galloping all the Way home.</p> + +</div> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/pic3_24.png" width = "458" height = "370" +alt = "music" title = "The Galloping Song"> +</p> + +<div class = "mynote"> + +<p align = "center">MIDI file: <a href = +"files/pianogallop.midi">default</a> (piano)<br> +MIDI file: <a href = "files/harpsigallop.midi">harpsichord</a></p> + +<p><i>Depending on your browser, these files may open directly or may +need to be downloaded.</i></p> + +<p>The “E” in “hold thy Hand” has been rendered as E natural rather than +E flat, and a few durations were adjusted to fit the meter.</p> + +<p align = "center"><a href = "images/galloping.png">Galloping Song</a> +(redrawn)</p> + +</div> + +<div class = "poem"> + +<span class = "pagenum part3">25</span> + +<h5>Temple, in a Gentleman’s Chambers.</h5> + +<p>When <i>Phillis</i> wore her brightest Face,</p> +<p>All Men rejoic’d in every Grace:</p> +<p>Her Patch, her Mein, her Forward Chin,</p> +<p>Cry’d, Gentlemen, Pray who’ll come in:</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>But now her Wrinkles are come on her,</p> +<p>All Men who ever were upon her,</p> +<p>Cry out, a Fart upon her Honour.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>C. M.</i></p> + + +<h5>On a Wall, at a School in Norwich. In Dog Latin.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>J. Jackson</i> currit <i>plenum sed</i></p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Et læsit meum <i>magnum ad</i>.</p> + +<p class = "author"><i>R. L.</i></p> + +<h5>The English Translation, Word for Word.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>J. Jackson</i> run <i>full-butt</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And hurt my <i>Great Toe</i>.</p> + + +<h5>Written on the Door of two celebrated Milliners.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +Within this Place</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Lives <i>Minerva</i> and <i>Grace</i>,</p> +<p>An Angel hangs out at the Door;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +If you rise in the Night,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And call for a Light,</p> +<p>Then presently down comes a Wh<span class = +"dash">——</span>.</p> + + +<h5>Angel, at Marlborough. Upon Miss M<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>k.</h5> + +<p>Her Step delivers those her Eyes enslave,</p> +<p>She looks to conquer, but she treads to save.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part3">26</span> + +<h5>From a Window at Kidderminster, Worcestershire.</h5> + +<h6>A Scrap of a Lady’s Life.</h6> + +<p>When first she wakes, a Sigh or two she fetches,</p> +<p>Then rubs her Eyes,<span class = "dash">——</span>and Arms +and Legs she stretches!</p> +<p>Oh! for a Husband, out she gently cries,</p> +<p>If he were here,<span class = "dash">——</span>he would +not let me rise;</p> +<p>But I must up, for Fear my Love should stay,</p> +<p>And we should be too late at the new Play.</p> +<p>Here, <i>Jenny</i>, reach my Slippers, bring the Pot;</p> +<p>Then out she jumps, and down she gives a Squat,</p> +<p>I think I need not tell you what to do,</p> +<p>And then she lets a merry Crack or two.</p> + +<p class = "author">W. Overb<span class = "hyphen">--</span>ry.</p> + + +<h5>Bog-House at Ludlow.</h5> + +<p>Two pitiful Dukes at our Race did appear;</p> +<p>One bespoke him a Girl, the other new Geer,</p> +<p>And both went away without paying I hear,</p> +<p>For the Cheat lov’d his Money, and so did the Peer.</p> + + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>You Rogue, Taylor shan’t catch me, while your Legs they are +cross’d.</p> +<p>Don’t cry, my dear Girl, since you have got more than you lost.</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h4 class = "extended"><i>FINIS.</i></h4> + +</div> + +<hr> + +<a name = "partIV" id = "partIV"> </a> +<div class = "title"> + +<h5>THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT:</h2> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h4>Glaſs-Window and Bog-Houſe</h4> + +<h4 class = "smallcaps extended">Miscellany.</h4> + +<h6>Taken from</h6> + +<p class = "hanging"> +The Original Manuscripts written in <i>Diamond</i> by Persons of the +first Rank and Figure in <i>Great Britain</i>; relating to Love, +Matrimony, Drunkenness, Sobriety, Ranting, Scandal, Politicks, Gaming, +and many other Subjects, <i>Serious</i> and <i>Comical</i>.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "hanging"> +Faithfully Transcribed from the Drinking-Glasses and +Windows in the several noted <i>Taverns</i>, <i>Inns</i>, and +other <i>Publick Places</i> in this Nation.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><i>Published by</i> <span class = "extended">HURLO +THRUMB</span>O.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>Gameyorum, Wildum, Gorum,<br> +Gameyorum a Gamy,<br> +Flumarum a Flumarum,<br> +A Rigdum Bollarum<br> +A Rigdum, for a little Gamey.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset5"> +<ins class = "correction" title = +"spelling unchanged">Bethleham</ins>-Wall, Moor-Fields.</p> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5><span class = "extended">PART</span> IV.</h5> + +<hr class = "full"> + +<h5 class = "extended"><i>LONDON:</i></h5> + +<h5>Printed for <span class = "smallcaps extended">J. Roberts</span> in +<i>Warwick-Lane</i>; and Sold by the Booksellers in Town and Country. + [Price 6 <i>d.</i>]</h5> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<hr> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<p class = "hanging"> +<i>N. B.</i> There being a great Number of these Pieces of Wit and +Humour at most Places of publick Resort in this Kingdom, it is hoped +that all, who are pleased with, or willing to promote this Design, will +be so good as to collect and send them to the Publisher hereof. The +Editor does not care how merry they are, provided they are not +obscene.</p> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<span class = "pagenum part4">3</span> +<span class = "folionum">B2</span> + +<h5 class = "extended">THE</h5> + +<h2>MERRY-THOUGHT.</h2> + +<h4><span class = "extended">PART</span> IV.</h4> + + +<p class = "space"><i>Mr.</i> <span class = "smallcaps">Bog</span>,</p> + +<p> +<span class = "firstword"><span class = "fourlines">W</span>here</span> +Wit and Learning (as at present in this our Isle) so much abound, great +Marvel it is to me, That so worthy a Compiler of other Men’s Labours as +yourself, should be put to the little mean Shifts of copying from such +<i>Cacascriptores</i>, who have from <i>Hudibras</i>, <i>Tom Brown</i>, +and others of the like Rank, their little Bits and Scraps, basely +purloined, whereby you run a Risque of being deem’d yourself a Plagiary: +Nor is it less unbecoming the Dignity and Fidelity of your Undertaking, +to supply the Want of Application and Diligence, by filling up your +lifeless Pages with Musical Punctations, as vile and unrelishing as ever +echo’d from your own natural Bagpipe. Therefore, that you may the better +be enabled these Indecencies equally to avoid, I send you the +following <i>Collectanea Nasutula</i>: If you honour them, I shall +honour your next Performance; if not, <i>Non cuicunque datum est habere +nasum</i>.</p> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<div class = "poem"> + +<span class = "pagenum part4">4</span> + +<h5>From a Boghouse near <em>Lincoln’s-Inn-Fields</em>.</h5> + +<h5>The <em><span class = "extended">WIS</span>H</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset"> +Oh! may our Senate, learn’d and great,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +(In order to perpetuate</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The tuneful Strains and witty Flights,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Of him that Studies while he sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>ts)</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Decree all Landlords, thro’ the Nation,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Shall lay (on Pain of Flagellation<ins class = "correction" title = +"close parenthesis missing">) </ins></p> +<p class = "inset"> +In some meet Corner of their Dark Hole</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A cuspidated Piece of Charcoal;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Or, where the Walls are cas’d with Wainscot,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A Piece of Chalk with equal Pains cut;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That those who labour at both Ends,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +To ease themselves, and serve their Friends,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +May not, reluctant, go from Sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And leave no Relict of their Wit,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +For want of necessary Tools</p> +<p class = "inset"> +To impart the <i>Proles</i> of their Stools:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Then <i>Cibber</i>’s Odes, and <i>Tindal</i>’s Sense,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Caleb</i> and <i>Henley</i>’s Eloquence,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Woolston</i>, and all such learned Sophi’s,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Would be cut down in House-of-Office:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Oxford</i> and <i>Cambridge</i> too would join</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Their Puns, to make the Boghouse shine</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Each learn’d Society would try all</p> +<p class = "inset"> +(From lowest Club, to that call’d Royal<ins class = "correction" title = +"close parenthesis missing">,) </ins></p> +<p class = "inset"> +To furnish something might improve</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Religion, Politicks, or Love:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Grand <i>Keyber</i>, Gormogons, Free Masons,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And <i>Heydeger</i>, with all his gay Sons,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Would find to suit, with Lectures there,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Their Intellectuals to a Hair:</p> +<p><i>Bodens</i> might pick up Wit from thence, and lay</p> +<p>The <i>Drama</i> of another Modish Play.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">5</span> +<p>So wise a Law would doubtless tend</p> +<p>To prove our Senate, Learning’s Friend;</p> +<p>Whilst Trade, and such like fond Chimeras,</p> +<p>Might wait more fit and leisure <i>Æra’s.</i></p> + + +<h5>From a Window at the <em>Dolphin</em> Inn in +<em>Southampton</em>.</h5> + +<p>The Wedding-Night past, says Sir <i>John</i> to his Mate,</p> +<p>Faith Madam I’m bit (tho’ I find it too late)</p> +<p>By your d<span class = "hyphen">---</span>n’d little Mouth, or else +I’m a Whore’s Son,</p> +<p>For the Cross underneath’s quite out of Proportion.</p> +<p>Good Sir <i>John</i>, says my Lady, then under the Rose,</p> +<p>I’m as bad bit as you, by your plaguy long Nose:</p> +<p>You have not by half so much as I wanted,</p> +<p>I’ve more than you want, yet y’are not contented.</p> + + +<h5>From the Playhouse Boghouse.</h5> + +<p>Good Folks, sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t and write, and mend +honest Bog’s Trade,</p> +<p>For when you sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t Rhymes, you help him +to Bread:</p> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "spelling unchanged">He’el</ins> +feed on a Jest, that is broke with your Wind,</p> +<p>And fatten on what you here leave behind.</p> + + +<h5>From A Boghouse at the <em>White Hart</em>, Petersfield.</h5> + +<p>Were this Place to be view’d by a Herald of Note,</p> +<p>He would find a new Charge for the next new-bought Coat,</p> +<p>Which <i>Guillim</i> ne’er thought of, nor one of the Herd,</p> +<p><i>Viz.</i> a Wall erect Argent, <i>Gutte de T<span class = +"dash">——</span>d.</i></p> +<p>And as a Reward, for improving the Art,</p> +<p>He should bear on a Fess (if he paints it) a F<span class = +"hyphen">---</span>t.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">6</span> + +<h5>Underwritten.</h5> + +<p>A Pox on your writing, I thought you were sh<span class = +"hyphen">----</span>g,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +My great Gut has giv’n me such Twitches:</p> +<p>Had you scribled much more, I’m a Son of a Whore,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +If I should not have don’t in my Breeches.</p> + + +<h5>From the <em>White Lyon</em>, <em>Bristol</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset"> +I’m witty, I’ll Write,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +I’m valiant, I’ll Fight,</p> +<p>And take all that’s said in my own Sense:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +In Liquor I’m sunk,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And confoundedly drunk,</p> +<p>So there is the Source of this Nonsense.</p> + + +<h5>From the same Place.</h5> + +<p>A Wretch, whom Fortune has been pleas’d to rowl</p> +<p>From the Tip-top of her enchanted Bowl,</p> +<p>Sate musing on his Fate, but could not guess,</p> +<p>Nor give a Reason for her Fickleness:</p> +<p>Such Thoughts as these would ne’er his Brain perplex,</p> +<p>Did he but once reflect upon her Sex:</p> +<p>For how could he expect, or hope to see,</p> +<p>In Woman either Truth or Constancy.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written on the Wall of one of the Summer-Houses in +<em>Gray’s-Inn</em> Walks, under a curious Piece of Drawing.</h5> + +<p>Come hither, Heralds, view this Coat,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +’Twill bear Examination,</p> +<p>’Tis ancient, and derives its Note</p> +<p class = "inset"> +From the first Pair’s Creation.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">7</span> +<p>The Field is <i>Luna</i>, <i>Mars</i> a Pale,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Within an Orle of <i>Saturn</i>;</p> +<p>Charg’d with two Pellets at the Tail:</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Pray take it for a Pattern.</p> + + +<h5>Under-written.</h5> + +<p>I don’t see your <i>Luna</i>, nor <i>Saturn</i>, nor <i>Mars</i>,</p> +<p>But I see her <span class = "dash">——</span> plain, and I +see his bare A<span class = "hyphen">--</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>From another Place in the same Walks.</h5> + +<p>Could fairest dear <i>Eliza</i> know how much I love,</p> +<p>My Story might, at least, her gen’rous Pity move;</p> +<p>Her Pity’s all my Hope, nor durst I more implore,</p> +<p>With that I still might live, and still her Charms adore.</p> + + +<h5>Under-written.</h5> + +<p>Poor Wretch, alas! I pity Thee with all my heart,</p> +<p>Since that, it seems, alone will cure thy Love-sick Smart:</p> +<p>For he that has not Courage further to implore,</p> +<p>May surely have our Pity, but deserves no more.</p> + + +<h5>From a <em>Bog-House</em> at the <em>George-Inn</em> in +<em>Whitchurch</em>.</h5> + +<p>From costive Stools, and hide-bound Wit,</p> +<p>From Bawdy Rhymes, and Hole besh<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>t.</p> +<p>From Walls besmear’d with stinking Ordure,</p> +<p>By Swine who <ins class = "correction" +title = "spelling unchanged">nee’r</ins> provide Bumfodder</p> + +<p class = "inset6"><i>Libera Nos</i> <span class = +"dash">——</span></p> + + +<h5>Upon a Pillar at the <em>Royal-Exchange</em>.</h5> + +<p>This City is a World that’s full of Streets,</p> +<p>And Death’s the Market-Place where Mankind meets;</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">8</span> +<p>If Life were Merchandize, that Men could buy,</p> +<p>The Rich would only live, the Poor must die.</p> + + +<h5>In the Window of a <em>Green-House</em> near +<em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>Sitting on yon Bank of Grass,</p> +<p>With a blooming buxom Lass;</p> +<p>Warm with Love, and with the Day,</p> +<p>We to cool us went to play.</p> +<p>Soon the <i>am’rous</i> Fever fled,</p> +<p>But left a worse <i>Fire</i> in its Stead.</p> +<p>Alas! that <i>Love</i> should cause such Ills!</p> +<p>As doom to <i>Diet-Drink</i> and <i>Pills</i>.</p> + + +<h5>An Encomium on a <em>Fart</em>.</h5> + +<p>I sing the Praises of a <i>Fart</i>.</p> +<p>That I may do’t by Rules of <i>Art</i>.</p> +<p>I will invoke no <i>Deity</i>,</p> +<p>But <i>Butter’d-Pease</i> and <i>Furmity</i>;</p> +<p>And think their Help sufficient</p> +<p>To sit and furnish my Intent:</p> +<p>For sure I must not use <i>high Strains</i>,</p> +<p>For fear it bluster out in <i>Grains</i>.</p> +<p>When <i>Virgil</i>’s <i>Gnat</i>, and <i>Ovid</i>’s <i>Flea</i>,</p> +<p>And <i>Homer</i>’s <i>Frogs</i> strive for the Day;</p> +<p>There is no Reason in my Mind,</p> +<p>That a brave <i>Fart</i> should come <i>behind</i>:</p> +<p>Since that you may it <i>parallel</i>,</p> +<p>With any Thing that doth <i>excel</i>.</p> +<p><i>Musick</i> is but a <i>Fart</i> that’s sent</p> +<p>From the <i>Guts</i> of an <i>Instrument</i>:</p> +<p>The Scholar <i>farts</i>; but when he gains</p> +<p>Learning with <i>cracking</i> of his Brains;</p> +<p>And having spent much Pain and Oil,</p> +<p><i>Thomas</i> and <i>Dun</i> to reconcile,</p> +<p>For to learn the abstracting <i>Art</i>,</p> +<p>What does he get by’t? Not a <i>Fart</i>.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">9</span> +<span class = "folionum">B</span> +<p>The Soldier makes his Foes to run</p> +<p>With but the <i>Farting</i> of a Gun;</p> +<p>That’s if he make the <i>Bullet whistle</i>,</p> +<p>Else ’tis no better than a <i>Fizzle</i>:</p> +<p>And if withal the Winds do stir-up</p> +<p>Rain, ’tis but a <i>Fart</i> in Syrrup.</p> +<p>They are but <i>Farts</i>, the <i>Words</i> we say,</p> +<p>Words are but <i>Wind</i>, and so are they.</p> +<p>Applause is but a <i>Fart</i>, the crude</p> +<p><i>Blast</i> of the fickle Multitude.</p> +<p>The Boats that lie the <i>Thames</i> about,</p> +<p>Be but <i>Farts</i> several Docks let out.</p> +<p>Some of our <i>Projects</i> were, I think,</p> +<p>But politick <i>Farts</i>, <i>Foh! how they stink</i>!</p> +<p>As soon as born, they by-and-by,</p> +<p><i>Fart-like</i>, but only breathe, and die.</p> +<p><i>Farts</i> are as good as <i>Land</i>, for both</p> +<p>We hold <i>in Tail</i>, and <i>let</i> them both:</p> +<p>Only the Difference here is, that</p> +<p><i>Farts</i> are <i>let</i> at a lower <i>Rate</i>.</p> +<p>I’ll say no more, for this is right,</p> +<p>That for my <i>Guts</i> I cannot write;</p> +<p>Though I should study all my Days,</p> +<p>Rhimes that are worth the Thing I praise:</p> +<p>What I have said, take in good Part,</p> +<p>If not, I do not care a <i>Fart</i>.</p> + + +<h5>Written in Chalk under the <em>George-Inn</em> Sign at +<em>Farnham</em>.</h5> + +<p>St. <i>George</i> to save a <i>Maid</i>, a <i>Dragon</i> slew,</p> +<p>A gallant Action, grant the Thing be true.</p> +<p>Yet some say there’s no <i>Dragons</i>.<span class = +"dash">——</span>Nay, tis said,</p> +<p>There’s no <i>St. George</i><span class = +"dash">——</span>Pray Heav’n there be a <i>Maid</i>.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">10</span> + +<h5 class = "long">In the Window of a fine <em>Assembly-Room</em> on a +vast Appearance at its Opening.</h5> + +<p>The Novelty this Crowd invites,</p> +<p>’Tis strange, and therefore it delights;</p> +<p>For Folks Things eagerly pursue,</p> +<p>Not that they’re good, but that they’re new.</p> +<p>Pleasure must vary, or must cease,</p> +<p>We tire of Bliss, grow sick of Ease.</p> +<p>And if the Year we’re doom’d to Play,</p> +<p>To Work would be a Holiday.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Over the Gate of <em>Redgrave Hall</em>, on a Visit +made by Queen <em>Elizabeth</em> to Sir <em>Nicholas Bacon</em>, then +Lord Keeper.</h5> + +<p>When great <span class = "smallcaps">Eliza</span> saw at +<i>Redgrave-Hall</i>,</p> +<p>The Apartments <i>few</i>, and those indeed but <i>small</i>,</p> +<p>Thus to its <i>Lord</i>, bespoke the gracious <span class = +"smallcaps">Queen</span>;</p> +<p>Methinks for <i>you</i>, this <i>Mansion</i> is too <i>mean</i>.</p> +<p><i>For me, my Liege</i>, quoth he, <i>of old ’twas meet,</i></p> +<p><i>But </i>you<i> have made </i>me<i> for my </i>House—too +great.</p> + + +<h5>Written by Sir <em>Thomas Moor</em>.</h5> + +<p>At last I’ve found a <i>Haven</i> where,</p> +<p>I’ll ride secure from <i>Hope</i> or <i>Fear</i>.</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Thy Game is, <i>Fortune</i>, o’er with me,</p> +<p>And thou to others now may’st <i>flee</i></p> +<p>To cheat them with <i>Inconstancy</i>.</p> + + +<h5>The Nature of Women: From a <em>Summer-House</em> near +<em>Richmond</em>.</h5> + +<p>Fair and foolish, little and loud,</p> +<p>Long and lazy, black and proud;</p> +<p>Fat and merry, lean and sad,</p> +<p>Pale and peevish, red and bad.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">11</span> +<span class = "folionum">B2</span> + +<h5>The Nature of Men from the same.</h5> + +<p>To a Red Man read thy Read;</p> +<p>To a Brown Man break thy Bread;</p> +<p>At a Pale Man draw thy Knife;</p> +<p>From a Black Man keep thy Wife.</p> + + +<h5>In a Chamber Window in <em>Queen’s College, Cambridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>Our <i>Bodies</i> are like <i>Shoes</i>, which oft we +<i>cast</i>,</p> +<p><i>Physick</i> the <i>Cobler</i> is, and <i>Death</i> the +<i>Last</i>.</p> + + +<h5>On a Tomb.</h5> + +<p>Here, in their last Bed,</p> +<p>The loving <i>Alice</i> rests with her Love <i>Ned</i>.</p> + +<h5>Underwritten by a <em>Cambridge</em> Schollar.</h5> + +<p><i>Viator siste! ecce miraculum!</i></p> +<p><i>Vir & Uxor, hic non litigant.</i></p> + +<h5>Which in <em>English</em> may stand thus.</h5> + +<p>Behold a Bed, where, without Strife,</p> +<p>There rests a Man, and eke his Wife.</p> + + +<h5>Tom of <em>Bedlam</em>’s Sentiments on Marriage.</h5> + +<p>One ask’d a Madman, if a Wife he had,</p> +<p>A Wife! quoth he.<span class = "dash">——</span>No!<span +class = "dash">——</span>I’m not quite so mad.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">12</span> + +<h5 class = "long">In the Vaults belonging to Trinity College, +<em>Cambridge</em>, there is cut the Form of a Tobacco-Box, with this +Inscription:</h5> + +<p align = "center"> +Pandora’s Treasure.</p> + +<h5>Underneath,</h5> + +<p>Tobacco, that outlandish Weed,</p> +<p>It dries the Brain, and spoils the Seed;</p> +<p>It dulls the Spirit, it dims the Sight,</p> +<p>It robs a Woman of her Right.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">An Epitaph on a Wicked Man’s Tomb. Written by Doctor +<em>Wild</em> the famous Non-Conformist Minister.</h5> + +<p>Beneath this Stone there lies a cursed Sinner,</p> +<p>Doom’d to be roasted for the Devil’s Dinner.</p> + + +<h5>In the Vaults at <em>Chelsea</em>, and in an hundred other +Places.</h5> + +<p>When the Devil was sick, the Devil a Monk would be,</p> +<p>When the Devil was well, the Devil a Monk was he.</p> + + +<h5>Sir <em>Walter Raleigh</em> on the Snuff of a Candle the Night +before he died.</h5> + +<p>Cowards fear to die, but Courage stout,</p> +<p>Rather than live in Snuff, will put it out.</p> + + +<h5>On Marriage: In a Window at <em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>If ’tis to marry when the Knot is ty’d,</p> +<p>Why then they marry, who at <i>Tyburn</i> ride.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">13</span> +<p>And if that Knot, ’till Death, is loos’d by none,</p> +<p>Why then to marry, and be hang’d’s all one.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window in a Public-House, near <em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3"> +Sing High Ding a Ding,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +And Ho Ding a Ding,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +I’m finely brought to Bed;</p> +<p>My Lord has stole that troublesome Thing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +That Folks call a Maidenhead.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>Jane Hughs</i> eighteen Years of Age.</p> + + +<h5>A little below it, in the same Window.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3"> +Then sing High Ding a Ding,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +And Ho Ding a Ding,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +You’re finely brought to Bed;</p> +<p>For something you’ve got for that troublesome Thing,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A Cl—p for a Maidenhead.</p> + +<p class = "author"> +<i>By my Lord’s Gentleman.</i></p> + + +<h5>Written in the first Leaf of <em>Arbor Vitæ</em>.</h5> + +<p>Two D<span class = "hyphen">---</span>s, and a Doctor, ’tis said, +wrote this Piece,</p> +<p>Who were modest as Whores, and witty as Geese.</p> +<p>They penn’d it, it seems, to shew their great Parts,</p> +<p>Their Skill in Burlesque, and their Knowledge in Arts</p> +<p>But what say the Town<span class = "dash">——</span>that +’t has fully desected,</p> +<p>That Fools they are all<span class = +"dash">——</span>which had long been suspected.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">14</span> + +<h5 class = "long">At the <em>Red Lyon</em> at <em>Egham</em>, and in +the Windows at many other Places.</h5> + +<p><i>Cornutus</i> call’d his Wife both Whore and Slut,</p> +<p>Quoth she, you’ll never leave your Brawling—but—</p> +<p>But, what? quoth he: Quoth she, the Post or Door;</p> +<p>For you have Horns to But, if I’m a Whore.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at the Pudding-House in the Road to +<em>Islington</em>.</h5> + +<p>The End of all, and in the End</p> +<p>The Praise of all depends:</p> +<p>A Pudding merits double Praise,</p> +<p>Because it hath two Ends.</p> + + +<h5>Underneath it.</h5> + +<p>A Pudding hath two Ends; You lye, my Brother,</p> +<p>For it begins at one, and ends at t’other.</p> + + +<h5>On Marriage. By a Batchelor.</h5> + +<p>Wedding and Hanging, both the Fates dispatch.</p> +<p>Yet Hanging seems to me the better Match.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at <em>Bath</em>.</h5> + +<h6>On a Gentleman’s saying he had calculated his Son’s Nativity, the +Boy being then about nine Days old.</h6> + +<p><i>Lavinia</i> brought to Bed, her Husband looks</p> +<p>To know the Bantling’s Fortune in his Books.</p> +<p>Wiser he’d been, had he look’d backward rather,</p> +<p>And seen for certain, who had been its Father.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">15</span> +<h5>In the Vaults at <em> Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>Dung, when scatter’d o’er the Plain,</p> +<p>Causes noble Crops of Grain:</p> +<p>Dung in Gardens too we want,</p> +<p>To cherish ev’ry springing Plant.</p> +<p>Corn and Plants since Dung affords,</p> +<p>We eat as well as sh<span class = "dash">——</span> our +T<span class = "dash">——</span>ds.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written in the Window of a Lady’s Chamber, who on a +slight Indisposition sent for <em>S. J. S.</em></h5> + +<p>The Doctor more than Illness we should fear;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Sickness precedes, and Death attends his Coach,</p> +<p>Agues to Fevers rise, if he appear,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And Fevers grow to Plagues at his Approach.</p> + + +<h5>On Miss <em>Green</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset"> +What gives the pleasant Mead its Grace,</p> +<p>What spreads at Spring Earth’s smiling Face,</p> +<p>What jolly Hunters chuse to wear,</p> +<p>Gives Name to her whose Chains I bear.</p> + + +<h5>On Miss <em>Partridge</em> of <em>Ely</em>.</h5> + +<p>That of the pretty feather’d Race,</p> +<p>Which most doth courtly Tables grace,</p> +<p>And o’er the Mountains bends it Flight,</p> +<p>Or lurks in Fields with Harvest bright;</p> +<p>For whose Destruction Men with Care,</p> +<p>The noblest Canine Breed prepare,</p> +<p>Bestows a Name on that fair Maid</p> +<p>Whose Eyes to Love my Heart betray’d.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">16</span> + +<h5>On Miss <em>Sk<span class = "dash">——</span></em> at +<em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>The <i>Irish</i> have a certain Root,</p> +<p>Our Parsnip’s very like unto’t,</p> +<p>Which eats with Butter wond’rous well,</p> +<p>And like Potatoes makes a Meal.</p> +<p>Now from this Root there comes a Name,</p> +<p>Which own’d is by the beauteous Dame,</p> +<p>Who sways the Heart of <i>him</i> who rules</p> +<p>A mighty Herd of Knaves and Fools.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">A <em>Rebus</em> written in one of the Windows of a +large House near <em>Epsom</em>.</h5> + +<p>The Court of Love’s assembled here,</p> +<p>’Tis <i>Venus</i> Queen of Beauty’s Sphere,</p> +<p>In all her Charms she stands confest,</p> +<p>And rules supreme the noblest Breast.</p> +<p>Ye Shepherds would ye learn the Name</p> +<p>Of her who spreads so vast a Flame,</p> +<p>Know that ’tis hid from the Prophane;</p> +<p>And that your strictest Search is <i>Vain</i>.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window of the Great Room at <em>Scarborough</em>.</h5> + +<p>What strange Vicissitudes we see</p> +<p class = "inset"> +In Pleasure, as in Realms take Place</p> +<p>For nothing here can constant be,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Where springing Joys the old efface.</p> +<p>The Theatre, of Yore the Field</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Of Conquests, gain’d by blooming Maids,</p> +<p>Now must to modern Operas yield,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +As they, to courtly Masquerades.</p> +<p>Nor better fares those sweet Retreats</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Which they in sultry Summer chose:</p> +<p>Since <i>Scarb’rough</i>, Paradise of Sweets!</p> +<p class = "inset"> +On ruined <i>Bath</i> and <i>Tunbridge</i> rose.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">17</span> +<span class = "folionum">D</span> + +<h5>Traced with a Smoke of a Candle in <em>Newgate</em>.</h5> + +<p><i>Dick</i>, on two Words, thought to maintain him ever:</p> +<p>The first was <i>Stand</i>, and next to <i>Stand, Deliver</i>.</p> +<p>But <i>Dick</i>’s in <i>Newgate</i>, and he fears shall never,</p> +<p>Be blest again with that sweet Word <i>Deliver</i>.</p> + + +<h5>In the Window of a Coffee-House at <em>Richmond</em>.</h5> + +<p>My <i>Chloe</i> is an Angel bright,</p> +<p>But <i>Chloe</i>’s common<span class = "dash">——</span>so +is Light.</p> +<p>And who with <i>Phœbus</i> Fault shall find,</p> +<p>Because his Beams to all are kind.</p> + + +<h5>On a Pannel at the Rose.</h5> + +<p><i>Nanny Meadowes</i> has undone me,</p> +<p>From myself her Charms have won me.</p> +<p>With Love’s blazing Flames I die,</p> +<p>Whither, whither shall I fly!</p> + + +<h5>Underneath.</h5> + +<p>Prithee, Coxcomb, without Whining,</p> +<p>Say thou hast a mind to Sinning</p> +<p>With a Guinea, do but ask her,</p> +<p>Love you’ll find<span class = "dash">——</span>is no hard +Task, Sir.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">On a long-winded Preacher at <em>Coventry</em>: From +a Window there.</h5> + +<p>Twelve Minutes, and one tedious Hour</p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Mills</i> kept me once in Pain,</p> +<p>But if I had it my Power,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +He ne’er should preach again.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">18</span> + +<h5>A <em>Liliputian</em> <span class = "smallcaps">Ode</span>. Composed +at <em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3">Charming <i>Molly</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Cease your Folly,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Learn to ease me,</p> +<p class = "inset3">No more teaze me.</p> +<p class = "inset3">Love’s but Reason</p> +<p class = "inset3">When in Season:</p> +<p class = "inset3">Nay, ’tis Duty,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Youth and Beauty</p> +<p class = "inset3">To improve</p> +<p class = "inset3">In happy Love.</p> +<p class = "inset3">Therefore, <i>Molly</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Cease your Folly,</p> +<p class = "inset3">And instead of being coy,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Give, O give your Lover Joy!</p> + + +<h5>The <em>Fair Lady’s Answer</em>. In the same Measure.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3">Rhiming <i>Billy</i>,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Soft and silly,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Are the verses,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Muse rehearses,</p> +<p class = "inset3">When with straining</p> +<p class = "inset3">You’re obtaining</p> +<p class = "inset3">Her Assistance</p> +<p class = "inset3">’Gainst Resistance,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Made by Mistress</p> +<p class = "inset3">To your Distress.</p> +<p class = "inset3">Therefore early</p> +<p class = "inset3">Quit them fairly,</p> +<p class = "inset3">If you’d be rid of Woe,</p> +<p class = "inset3">Prithee, Prithee, Coxcomb, do.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">19</span> +<span class = "folionum">D2</span> + +<h5>The Clowns and the Conjurer. By a Lady.</h5> + +<p>A Clown, who had lost his Mare,</p> +<p>To his Neighbour, a Wit, did repair,</p> +<p>And begg’d him with him to go</p> +<p>To the famous Doctor <i>Foreknow</i>,</p> +<p>A Conjurer powerful and strong,</p> +<p>Who would tell who had done the Wrong.</p> +<p>So when to the Door they came,</p> +<p>The Wit, he besh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t the same:</p> +<p>Then knocking — the Doctor appears,</p> +<p>And in Midst of his Passion he swears,</p> +<p>If he knew but the nasty Dog</p> +<p>Who had sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>t at his Gate like a +Rogue,</p> +<p>He’d do to him Lord knows what.</p> +<p>Quoth the Wit — why know you not that?</p> +<p>Then, Neighbour, e’en save your Pence,</p> +<p>For his Learning is all a Pretence:</p> +<p>If he knows not who sh<span class = "hyphen">-</span>t<span class = +"dash">——</span>of course,</p> +<p>He nothing can know of your Horse.</p> +<p>And no Light can his Figures afford,</p> +<p>Whose Conjuring’s not worth a T<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> +<p>So as wise our two Clowns came Home,</p> +<p>As any who on such Errands roam.</p> + + +<h5>On a Pannel at the Faulcon in <em>St. Neot</em>’s +<em>Huntingdonshire</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +My Maidenhead sold for a Guinea,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +A lac’d Head with the Money I bought;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +In which I look’d so bonny,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +The Heart of a Gamester I caught:</p> +<p>A while he was fond, and brought Gold to my Box,</p> +<p>But at last he robb’d me, and left me the P<span class = +"dash">——</span></p> + +<span class = "pagenum part4">20</span> + +<h5>Underneath.</h5> + +<p>When you balance Accounts, it sure may be said,</p> +<p>You at a bad Market sold your Maidenhead.</p> + + +<h5>The <em>Inamorato</em>. In a Window at <em>Twickenham</em>.</h5> + +<p>When dull and melancholy,</p> +<p>I rove to charming <i>Dolly</i>,</p> +<p>Whose Sweetness doth so charm me,</p> +<p>And wanton Tricks so warm me,</p> +<p>That quite dissolv’d in Love,</p> +<p>No Trouble then I prove,</p> +<p>But am as truly blest</p> +<p>Upon her panting Breast,</p> +<p>As if to me she brought</p> +<p>All for which <i>Cæsar</i> fought:</p> +<p>For I, like <i>Anthony</i>,</p> +<p>With Beauty would be free,</p> +<p>Altho’ again’t shou’d cost</p> +<p>The Price of Empire lost.</p> + + +<h5>An <em>Answer</em>. In the next Pane.</h5> + +<p>You sure were full of Folly,</p> +<p>When in the Praise of <i>Dolly</i>,</p> +<p>You wrote your am’rous Ditty,</p> +<p>Which sure deserves her Pity,</p> +<p>Since plainly it doth prove,</p> +<p>Your Brain is crack’d with Love;</p> +<p>Who else would talk of giving</p> +<p>An Empire for a <span class = "dash">——</span></p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>When Twenty will down</p> +<p>Each for a Silver Crown,</p> +<p>And thank you when they’ve done</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">21</span> + +<h5>In a Window. At <em>Lebeck’s-Head</em>.</h5> + +<p>If it be true each Promise is a Debt,</p> +<p>Then <i>Celia</i> hardly will her Freedom get;</p> +<p>Yet she, to satisfy her Debts, desires</p> +<p>To yield her Body as the Law requires.</p> + + +<h5>In the <em>Summer-House</em> on <em>Gray’s Inn Terras</em>.</h5> + +<p>Who speaks to please in ev’ry Way,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And not himself offend,</p> +<p>He may begin to work to Day,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But Heaven knows when he’ll end.</p> + + +<h5>In the same Place.</h5> + +<p>Dogs on their Masters fawn and leap,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And wag their Tails apace,</p> +<p>So tho’ a Flatterer wants a Tail,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +His Tongue supplies its Place.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window of the <em>Rene-Deer-Inn</em> at +<em>Bishop’s-Strafford</em>.</h5> + +<p>He that loves a Glass without a G,</p> +<p>Leave out L, and that is he.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Wrote with a Pencil on a Pannel in one of the Courts +of Justice in <em>Guild-Hall</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset3"> +To go to Law</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +I have no Maw,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Altho’ my Suit be sure,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +For I may lack</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +Cloaths to my Back,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +E’er I that Suit procure<ins class = "correction" +title = "text has comma">. </ins></p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">22</span> + +<h5>At the Tuns in <em>Cambridge</em>. Written with a Pencil on the +Wall.</h5> + +<p>Marriage in Days of old has liken’d been</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Unto a publick Feast, or Revel Rout,</p> +<p>Where those who are without would fain get in,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And those who are within would fain get out.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">On two old Maids: Written with a Pencil in the +<em>Pump Room</em> at <em>Bath</em>.</h5> + +<p>Why are <i>Doll</i>’s Teeth so white, and <i>Susan</i>’s black?</p> +<p class = "inset"> +The Reason soon is known.</p> +<p><i>Doll</i> buys her Teeth which she doth lack,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But <i>Susan</i> wears her own.<a class = "tag" name = "tagA" id = +"tagA" href = "#noteA">A</a></p> + +<h5>In a Window, at the <em>Rose-Tavern</em> in +<em>Catherine-Street</em>.</h5> + +<h6>On Mrs. <em>C<span class = "dash">——</span> P<span class += "dash">——</span></em></h6> + +<p>So early <i>Con</i> began the wanton Trade,</p> +<p>She scarce remembers when she was a Maid.</p> + + +<h5>In the Window of a Sharper’s Chambers in the <em>Temple</em>.</h5> + +<p>Oft with an Oath has <i>Cog</i> the Gamester said,</p> +<p>That no Disease should make him keep his Bed,</p> +<p>Urg’d for a Reason, I have heard him tell it,</p> +<p>To keep my Word<span class = "dash">——</span>in Troth I +mean to sell it.</p> + + +<h5>In a Bog-House at <em>Putney</em>.</h5> + +<p>The Poor have <i>little</i>, Beggars <i>none</i>,</p> +<p>The Rich <i>too much</i>, <i>enough</i>, not one.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">23</span> + +<h5 class = "long">Written at the Request of a Lady who on her Wedding +Day entreated an old Lover to write something upon her in the +Window.</h5> + +<p>This glittering Diamond, and this worthless Glass,</p> +<p><i>Celia</i>, display thy Virtue and thy Face;</p> +<p>Bright as the Brilliant while thy Beauty shows</p> +<p>Ev’n Glass itself’s less brittle than thy Vows.</p> + + +<h5>The <em>Italian</em> Gout.</h5> + +<p>If a Man lets a Fart in fair <i>Italy</i>,</p> +<p>From Lovers he never is after free;</p> +<p>For why <span class = "dash">——</span> amongst those +Dons, ’tis said,</p> +<p>’Tis a certain Sign of a Male Maidenhead.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window of a certain Lady of Pleasure’s Lodgings in +<em>Bow-Street</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "inset2"> +When with <i>Phillis</i> toying,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Eager for enjoying,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Muse can say</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +How sweet our Play,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +What Numbers tell</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +The Joys we feel?</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Happy Lovers only know</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Bliss unmix’d with any Woe.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +The Ambitious when rais’d to the Summit of Power,</p> +<p>In the Midst of their Joy fear that Fortune may lower;</p> +<p>The Miser, who Thousands has heap’d in his Chest,</p> +<p>In the Midst of Riches is never at rest.</p> +<p>And the Heroe, whose Bosom his Glory still warms,</p> +<p>In the Midst of his Conquests fears the Change of his Arms.</p> +<span class = "pagenum part4">24</span> +<p>But the Lover, whose Fondness his Hours doth employ,</p> +<p>In the Midst of her Charms knows no End of his Joy.</p> + +<p class = "inset2 first"> +Then quit Hopes of rising,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +And Riches despising,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Leave the Camp and the Court</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +For Love’s pleasing Sport;</p> +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p class = "inset2"> +By Experience you’ll know,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Love’s Pleasure’s still flow,</p> +<p>Un-embitter’d with Care, and untinctur’d with Woe.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at <em>Parson’s-Green</em>.</h5> + +<h6>The Lover’s Retreat.</h6> + +<p>From meaner Pleasure I retire,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Yet real Happiness pursue;</p> +<p>Friendship and Love my Breast inspire,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And I have met them both in you,</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Whatever in my Wish had Place,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +In thee, my lovely Fair, I find;</p> +<p>All that’s beauteous in thy Face,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +And all that’s virtuous in thy Mind.</p> + + +<h5>Written by Mr. <span class = "dash">——</span> in +<em>Chloe</em>’s Bed-Chamber.</h5> + +<p>Wou’d you know the true Road that to Pleasure doth lead,</p> +<p>Then this Way, ye Swains, your Footsteps must tread.</p> +<p>And then for the Piece which this Pleasure doth cost,</p> +<p>Why, ’tis only a Guinea, you can’t think it lost.</p> +<p>Since Supper and Lodging, and Mistress and all,</p> +<p>Nay, and Maid, if you like her, are ready at Call.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">25</span> +<span class = "folionum">E</span> + +<h5>The <em>Thief</em> and the <em>Doctor</em>.</h5> + +<p>A Thief a Parson stopp’d on the Highway,</p> +<p>And having bid him stand, next bid him pay.</p> +<p>The Parson drew his sword, for well he durst,</p> +<p>And quickly put his Foe unto the Worst.</p> +<p>Sir, (quoth the Thief) I by your Habit see,</p> +<p>You are a Churchman, and Debate should flee,</p> +<p>You know ’tis written in the sacred Word,</p> +<p><i>Jesus</i> to <i>Peter</i> said, <i>Put up thy Sword</i>:</p> +<p>True, (quoth the Parson) but withal then hear,</p> +<p>St. <i>Peter</i> first had cut off <i>Malchus</i>’s Ear.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long"> +<em>Pasquin</em> against <em>P. S. Quintus</em><a class = "tag" name = +"tagB" id = "tagB" href = "#noteB">B</a>, when he forbid the +Bawdy-Houses at <em>Rome</em>, in Queen <em>Elizabeth</em>’s Time.</h5> + +<p><i>Lex prohibet Pueros, prohibet Lupanaria Sixtus;</i></p> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Ergo quid agendum? Sit tibi amica manus.</i></p> + + +<h5>The Cure of Love.</h5> + +<p>Love is, as some Physicians say,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +A Fever bred by too high Feeding:</p> +<p>To cure it then the speediest Way,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Would be by Purging, and by Bleeding.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">Written in the Window of the Bar of the +<em>White-Swan-Tavern</em> of the City of <em>Norwich</em>.</h5> + +<p class = "smallcaps" align = "center">Mcccmixixx.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +<span class = "dash">——</span> <span class = +"dash">——</span> <span class = "dash">——</span> +<i>firmissima vina,</i></p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> <span class = +"dash">——</span> <span class = "dash">——</span> +<i>reponite mensis,</i></p> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> <span class = +"dash">——</span> <span class = "dash">——</span> +<i>& pocula porgite dextris.</i></p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">26</span> + +<h5>In the Bog-House of the same Tavern.</h5> + +<span class = "bracket"> </span> +<p>Six Pennyworth of Whiting,</p> +<p>A Hole to let Light in,</p> +<p>Will make it fit to sh<span class = "hyphen">--</span>te in.</p> + + +<h5>Underneath.</h5> + +<p>By what’s above, I welly ween,</p> +<p>The Fool wants Light to sh<span class = "hyphen">-</span>t him +clean.</p> + + +<h5>In a Bog-House in <em>St. Michael</em>’s Parish in +<em>Norwich</em>.</h5> + +<p><i>Tim Kirby</i>, <i>Peter Harrod</i>, and <i>Will Hall</i>,</p> +<p>Are three fit Pieces for a Bog-House Wall.</p> + +<h5>Underneath. By another.</h5> + +<p>But <i>Old Nick</i> has got them all.</p> + + +<h5>Written in a Bog-House at <em>Ipswich</em>.</h5> + +<p><i>Si desit stramen, cum digito terge Feramen.</i></p> + + +<h5>In <em>English</em>. By another.</h5> + +<p>If you cannot get some Grass,</p> +<p>With your Finger wipe your A<span class = "hyphen">--</span>se</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">27</span> +<span class = "folionum">E2</span> + +<h5>And under that, by another.</h5> + +<p>Such wretched <i>Latin</i>, and such wretched Verse,</p> +<p>Are proper <i>Stremina</i> to clean my A<span class = +"hyphen">--</span>se.</p> + + +<h5>In a Window at <em>Mount Ephraim</em>, near <em>Tunbridge</em>:</h5> + +<h6>A Dialogue between a Lover and a Poet.</h6> + +<p><i>Lov.</i> What is bright <i>Celia</i> like, Dear Poet, say?</p> +<p><i>Poet.</i> Why <i>Celia</i>, Sir, is like a Summer’s Day.</p> +<p><i>Lov.</i> Who to a Day could liken such a Woman?</p> +<p><i>Poet.</i> Is she not very <i>fair</i>, and very <i>common</i>?</p> + + +<h5>Written with a Pencil in the Vault at <em>Chelsea College</em>.</h5> + +<p>Who scribbles on the Wall when he’s at sh<span class = +"hyphen">-</span>-,</p> +<p>May sure be said to have a Flux of Wit.</p> + + +<h5>In the Vaults at <em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p>Like Claret-Drinkers Stools, a Blockhead’s Brain;</p> +<p>Hardly conceives what it brings forth with Pain.</p> +<p>Such is my Case<span class = "dash">——</span>who, while +I’m thus inditing,</p> +<p>Prove the Analogy ’twixt it and Sh<span class = +"dash">——</span>—.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">28</span> + +<h5>Written on the Window of a Coffee-House.</h5> + +<h6>Underneath, Coffee, Tea, &c.</h6> + +<p class = "first"> +The Mistress by her Window’s represented,</p> +<p>For why, ’tis brittle Ware, and painted.</p> + + +<h5>On a Butcher’s marrying a Tanner’s Daughter at +<em>Reading</em>.</h5> + +<p>A fitter Match there never could have been,</p> +<p>Since here the <i>Flesh</i> is wedded to the <i>Skin</i>.</p> + + +<h5>At <em>Tunbridge</em>.</h5> + +<p><i>Chloe</i> is fair as <i>Fields</i> in Autumn seen,</p> +<p>Her Temper gentle as the purling <i>Stream</i>:</p> +<p>That’s true; but then with those the rest conspire,</p> +<p>Lighter she is than <i>Air</i>, and hot as <i>Fire</i>.</p> + + +<h5>In Mrs. <em>Cowser</em>’s Window; in <em>Russel-Street</em>, +<em>Covent-Garden</em>.</h5> + + +<p class = "inset"> +Love, ’tis said, his Arrows shooting,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Wounds is ever distributing;</p> +<p class = "inset"> +But before I felt, I knew not,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That in Poison dipp’d they flew hot.</p> + +<p class = "inset3 first"> +To <i>Jenny</i> I owe</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +That this Secret I know,</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +For her I felt Smart</p> +<p class = "inset3"> +At first in my Heart;</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Which quickly she cur’d: But alack and alas!</p> +<p>I now feel a Throbbing in a much lower Place.</p> +<p>To <i>Jenny</i> I went; but, alas! it was in vain:</p> +<p>Though she gave me the Wound, she can’t cure me again.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum part4">29</span> + +<h5>An Epitaph on an old Maid.</h5> + +<p>Beneath this Place there lies an ancient Maid,</p> +<p>Whose secret Parts no Man did e’er invade;</p> +<p>Scarce her own Finger she’d permit to touch</p> +<p>That Virgin Part, altho’ it itched much.</p> +<p>And in her last expiring dying Groans,</p> +<p>Desir’d no Tomb, if it was built with Stones.</p> + + +<h5>The Effects of Love.</h5> + +<p>Love is the sweetest softest Passion,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +That can warm the human Soul;</p> +<p>’Tis a gentle Inclination</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Which doth ev’ry Care controul:</p> + +<p class = "inset2 first"> +Thro’ our Bosom Love diffusing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Tender Thoughts is ever choosing;</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Softest Words its Flame expressing,</p> +<p class = "inset2"> +Towards the Dame our Heart possessing.</p> + +<p class = "first"> +Love still gentle makes and easy,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Soft in ev’ry Thing we do;</p> +<p>Bent on all Things that may please ye,</p> +<p class = "inset"> +Men are Angels when they Woo.</p> + + +<h5 class = "long">This was wrote somewhere; and means something, if you +can find it out.</h5> + +<p>A Beauty like her’s whose Charms I now sing,</p> +<p>Ne’er sparkled in vain in the Box or the Ring;</p> +<p>No Youth of Distinction who gaz’d on her Eyes,</p> +<p>E’er retir’d, but he left her his Heart as her Prize.</p> +<p>Vain are all their Endeavours, for still the coy Maid,</p> +<p>At the Mention of Marriage, look’d strangely afraid,</p> +<p>Nor e’er thought of yeilding<span class = +"dash">——</span>until not long since</p> +<p>Eluding dull Ties<span class = "dash">——</span>she was +join’d to a P<span class = "dash">——</span></p> + +<p> </p> + +<h4 class = "extended"><i>FINIS.</i></h4> + +</div> + +<hr class = "full"> +<hr class = "full"> + +<p> </p> + +<div class = "advert"> + +<span class = "pagenum">1</span> + +<h5><i><a name = "advert" id = "advert">Entertaining <span class = +"extended">PAMPHLETS</span> just Printed.</a></i></h5> + + +<p>1. <span class = "extended"><b>T</b>HE MERRY-THOUGHT</span>: Or, +<i>The Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany</i>. Containing such Pieces +of Wit and Humour as have been writ with Diamonds, <i>&c.</i> by +Persons of the First Quality in <i>Great Britain</i>, on Glass-Windows, +Drinking-Glasses, Bog-Houses, <i>&c.</i> at the most publick Places +of Resort in this Kingdom. In four Parts. Price 6 <i>d.</i> +each.</p> + +<p>2. <i>Round about Our Coal-Fire:</i> Or, <i>Christmas +Entertainments</i>. Treating of Mirth and Jollity, Eating, Drinking, +Kissing, <i>&c.</i> Of Hobgoblins, Raw-Heads and Bloody-Bones, +<i>Tom-Pokers</i>, Bull-Beggars, Witches, Wizards, Conjurers, and such +like horrible Bodies. Adorn’d with many diverting Cuts. Price +6 <i>d.</i></p> + +<p>3. A View of the <span class = "extended">BEAU MONDE</span>: Or, +<i>Memoirs of the Celebrated <span class = +"extended">COQUETILLA</span></i>. In which is interspersed the Amours of +several Persons of Quality and Distinction. To which is added, <i>The +Masque of Life:</i> A Ballad. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<p>4. <i>Love-Alamode:</i> Or, <i>The Amours of</i> <span class = +"smallcaps">Florella</span> <i>and</i> <span class = +"smallcaps">Phillis</span>. Being the Memoirs of two Celebrated Ladies +under those Names: In which the whole Circle of Modern Gallantry is +display’d. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">2</span> + +<p>5. <i>The <em>BEAU</em>’s</i> MISCELLANY. Being a Curious Collection +of amorous Tales, diverting Songs, and entertaining Poems: particularly, +<i>The Curious Maid</i>; <i>The Peeper</i>; <i>The Leaky Vessel</i>; +<i>The Bauble</i>; <i>The Longitude</i>; <i>The Parson and his Maid</i>; +<i>The Hoop-Petticoat</i>; <i>The Tickler</i>; <i>The Maiden’s and +Batchelor’s Dreams</i>; <i>cum multis aliis</i>.</p> + +<p class = "inset2"><i>If these merry Tales don’t ev’ry Humour fit,<br> +Let Fops, like me, ne’er nibble more at Wit.</i></p> + +<p>In two Parts. The Second Edition. Price stich’d 2 <i>s.</i> +neatly bound 2 <i>s.</i> 6 <i>d.</i></p> + +<p>6. A PROPOSAL humbly offered to the Parliament, for the more +effectual preventing the farther Growth of <i>Popery</i>. By Dean +<i>Sw<span class = "hyphen">‑‑</span>ft</i>. To which is +added, Two Poems, <i>Helter-Skelter</i>, on the Hue and Cry after the +Country Attornies, on their Riding the Circuit; and, The Place of the +<i>Damn’d</i>. The Second Edition. Price 6 <i>d.</i></p> + +<p>7. <i>The Behaviour of the Clergy, as well as their Traditions +destructive of Religion.</i> Or, A Succinct History of +<i>Priestcraft</i> throughout all Ages. To which is added, Parson +<i>Bow<span class = "hyphen">‑‑</span>n</i>’s Confession: +A Poem. The Third Edition. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<p>8. WAR WITH PRIESTCRAFT, Or, <i>The Freethinker’s Iliad</i>. +A Burlesque Poem. In Three Canto’s. With Notes explaining the +Sentiments, <i>&c.</i> of them and their Followers. Price +1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<p>9. The HONEY-SUCKLE: A Curious Collection of POEMS. Consisting +chiefly of Originals; and interspersed with Translations from the best +<i>Greek</i> and <i>Latin</i> Poets. To which is added, <i>The</i> DUEL: +A Poem. The Second Edition. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">3</span> + +<p>10. <i>The whole Case and Proceedings in relation to <span class = +"extended">BRIDGET READIN</span>G, an Heiress, and </i>Daniel +Kimberley<i> and others.</i> To which is added, The Trial of the said +<i>Kimberley</i>; with his last dying Words, and an Original Letter sent +by him to Mr. <span class = "extended"><i>READING</i></span> a few Days +before his Execution. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<p>11. <i>A View of the</i> TOWN: Or, <i>Memoirs of</i> LONDON. In which +the Humours, Follies, Vices, <i>&c.</i> of that Great +<i>Metropolis</i>, are merrily display’d. Interspersed with several new +and witty Songs.</p> + +<p class = "inset2"> +<i>My Book a </i>Salesman<i>’s Shop you’ll find,</i></p> +<p class = "inset3 nospace"> +Where civilly I’ll treat ye,</p> +<p class = "inset2 nospace"> +<i>To a </i>Fool<i>’s Coat of any Kind,</i></p> +<p class = "inset3 nospace"> +<i>You’r welcome if it fit ye.</i></p> + +<p>The Second Edition. Price 1 <i>s.</i></p> + +<p>12. <i>A Sketch of the Miseries of</i> POVERTY. Dedicated to the +Honourable Sir <i>Griffith Boynton</i> Bart.</p> + +<p class = "inset"><i>Happy the Man, who void of Care and Strife,<br> +In silken or in leathern Purse retains<br> +A splendid Shilling.</i> +<span class = "gap smallcaps extended">Phillips.</span></p> + +<p class = "author"> +Price 6 <i>d.</i></p> + +<p>13. <i>A T<span class = "dash">——</span>d is as good for +a Sow, as a Pancake:</i> Or, <i>The Story of a</i> COCK <i>and a</i> +BULL. Calculated for the Improvement of the Modern Wits. Written by +<i>Myself</i> Esq; Professor of Dulness and Bombast. <ins class = +"correction" title = "text reads ‘Picre’">Price</ins> +6 <i>d.</i></p> + +<p><i>From Nothing comes Nothing, and there remains Nothing.</i></p> + +<p>From a Copy-Book in the <i>Blue-Coat</i> Hospital.</p> + +</div> + +<p> </p> + +<div class = "mynote"> + +<h5>Transcriber’s Footnotes</h5> + +<div class = "footnotes"> +<p><a name = "noteA" id = "noteA" href = "#tagA">A.</a> +“Why are <i>Doll</i>’s teeth so white...”</p> + +<p>This verse is a translation of Martial V.43:</p> + +<p class = "hanging">Thaïs habet nigros, niveos Laecania dentes.<br> +Quae ratio est? Emptos haec habet, illa suos.</p> + +<p><a name = "noteB" id = "noteB" href = "#tagB">B.</a> +P. S. Quintus = Pope Sixtus V. (Quintus)</p> + +</div> +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window +and Bog-House Miscellany, by Hurlo Thrumbo (pseudonym) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MERRY-THOUGHT *** + +***** This file should be named 20535-h.htm or 20535-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/5/3/20535/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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