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diff --git a/20003-0.txt b/20003-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..12e9984 --- /dev/null +++ b/20003-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2765 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Infernal Marriage, by Benjamin Disraeli + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Infernal Marriage + +Author: Benjamin Disraeli + +Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20003] +Last Updated: August 26, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + + + + + +THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE + +By Benjamin Disraeli + +_Proserpine was the daughter of Jupiter and Ceres. Pluto, the god +of Hell, became enamoured of her. His addresses were favoured by her +father, but opposed by Ceres. Under these circumstances, he surprised +her on the plains of Enna, and carried her off in his chariot._ + + + + +THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE + + + + +PART I. + + _A Sublime Elopement_ + +IT WAS clearly a runaway match--never indeed was such a sublime +elopement. The four horses were coal-black, with blood-red manes and +tails; and they were shod with rubies. They were harnessed to a basaltic +car by a single rein of flame. Waving his double-pronged trident in the +air, the god struck the blue breast of Cyane, and the waters instantly +parted. In rushed the wild chariot, the pale and insensible Proserpine +clinging to the breast of her grim lover. + +Through the depths of the hitherto unfathomed lake the infernal steeds +held their breathless course. The car jolted against its bed. ‘Save me!’ +exclaimed the future Queen of Hades, and she clung with renewed energy +to the bosom of the dark bridegroom. The earth opened; they entered the +kingdom of the gnomes. Here Pluto was popular. The lurid populace gave +him a loud shout. The chariot whirled along through shadowy cities and +by dim highways, swarming with a busy race of shades. + +‘Ye flowery meads of Enna!’ exclaimed the terrified Proserpine, ‘shall I +never view you again? What an execrable climate!’ + +‘Here, however, in-door nature is charming,’ responded Pluto. ‘Tis a +great nation of manufacturers. You are better, I hope, my Proserpine. +The passage of the water is never very agreeable, especially to ladies.’ + +‘And which is our next stage?’ inquired Proserpine. + +‘The centre of Earth,’ replied Pluto. ‘Travelling is so much improved +that at this rate we shall reach Hades before night.’ + +‘Alas!’ exclaimed Proserpine, ‘is not this night?’ + +‘You are not unhappy, my Proserpine?’ + +‘Beloved of my heart, I have given up everything for you! I do not +repent, but I am thinking of my mother.’ + +‘Time will pacify the Lady Ceres. What is done cannot be undone. In the +winter, when a residence among us is even desirable, I should not be +surprised were she to pay us a visit.’ + +‘Her prejudices are so strong,’ murmured the bride. ‘Oh my Pluto! I hope +your family will be kind to me.’ + +‘Who could be unkind to Proserpine? Ours is a very domestic circle. I +can assure you that everything is so well ordered among us that I have +no recollection of a domestic broil.’ + +‘But marriage is such a revolution in a bachelor’s establishment,’ +replied Proserpine, despondingly. ‘To tell the truth, too, I am half +frightened at the thought of the Furies. I have heard that their tempers +are so violent.’ + +‘They mean well; their feelings are strong, but their hearts are in the +right place. I flatter myself you will like my nieces, the Parcae. They +are accomplished, and favourites among the men.’ + +‘Indeed!’ + +‘Oh! quite irresistible.’ + +‘My heart misgives me. I wish you had at least paid them the compliment +of apprising them of our marriage.’ + +‘Cheer up. For myself, I have none but pleasant anticipations. I long +to be at home once more by my own fireside, and patting my faithful +Cerberus.’ + +‘I think I shall like Cerberus; I am fond of dogs.’ + +‘I am sure you will. He is the most faithful creature in the world.’ + +‘Is he very fierce?’ + +‘Not if he takes a fancy to you; and who can help taking a fancy to +Proserpine?’ + +‘Ah! my Pluto, you are in love.’ + +‘Is this Hades?’ inquired Proserpine. + +An avenue of colossal bulls, sculptured in basalt and breathing +living flame, led to gates of brass, adorned with friezes of rubies, +representing the wars and discomfiture of the Titans. A crimson cloud +concealed the height of the immense portals, and on either side hovered +o’er the extending walls of the city; a watch-tower or a battlement +occasionally flashing forth, and forcing their forms through the lurid +obscurity. + +‘Queen of Hades! welcome to your capital!’ exclaimed Pluto. + +The monarch rose in his car and whirled a javelin at the gates. There +was an awful clang, and then a still more terrible growl. + +‘My faithful Cerberus!’ exclaimed the King. + +The portals flew open, and revealed the gigantic form of the celebrated +watch-dog of Hell. It completely filled their wide expanse. Who but +Pluto could have viewed without horror that enormous body covered with +shaggy spikes, those frightful paws clothed with claws of steel, that +tail like a boa constrictor, those fiery eyes that blazed like the +blood-red lamps in a pharos, and those three forky tongues, round each +of which were entwined a vigorous family of green rattlesnakes! + +‘Ah! Cerby! Cerby!’ exclaimed Pluto; ‘my fond and faithful Cerby!’ + +Proserpine screamed as the animal gambolled up to the side of the +chariot and held out its paw to its master. Then, licking the royal palm +with its three tongues at once, it renewed its station with a wag of its +tail which raised such a cloud of dust that for a few minutes nothing +was perceptible. + +‘The monster!’ exclaimed Proserpine. + +‘My love!’ exclaimed Pluto, with astonishment. + +‘The hideous brute!’ + +‘My dear!’ exclaimed Pluto. + +‘He shall never touch me.’ + +‘Proserpine!’ + +‘Don’t touch me with that hand. You never shall touch me, if you allow +that disgusting animal to lick your hand.’ + +‘I beg to inform you that there are few beings of any kind for whom I +have a greater esteem than that faithful and affectionate beast.’ + +‘Oh! if you like Cerberus better than me, I have no more to say,’ +exclaimed the bride, bridling up with indignation. + +‘My Proserpine is perverse,’ replied Pluto; ‘her memory has scarcely +done me justice.’ + +‘I am sure you said you liked Cerberus better than anything in the +world,’ continued the goddess, with a voice trembling with passion. + +‘I said no such thing,’ replied Pluto, somewhat sternly. + +‘I see how it is,’ replied Proserpine, with a sob; ‘you are tired of +me.’ + +‘My beloved!’ + +‘I never expected this.’ + +‘My child!’ + +‘Was it for this I left my mother?’ + +‘Powers of Hades! How you can say such things!’ + +‘Broke her heart?’ + +‘Proserpine! Proserpine!’ + +‘Gave up daylight?’ + +‘For the sake of Heaven, then, calm yourself!’ + +‘Sacrificed everything?’ + +‘My love! my life! my angel! what is all this?’ + +‘And then to be abused for the sake of a dog!’ + +‘By all the shades of Hell, but this is enough to provoke even +immortals. What have I done, said, or thought, to justify such +treatment?’ + +‘Oh! me!’ + +‘Proserpine!’ + +‘Heigho!’ + +‘Proserpine! Proserpine!’ + +‘So soon is the veil withdrawn!’ + +‘Dearest, you must be unwell. This journey has been too much for you,’ + +‘On our very bridal day to be so treated!’ + +‘Soul of my existence, don’t make me mad. I love you, I adore you; I +have no hope, no wish, no thought but you. I swear it; I swear it by +my sceptre and my throne. Speak, speak to your Pluto: tell him all your +wish, all your desire. What would you have me do?’ + +‘Shoot that horrid beast.’ + +‘Ah! me!’ + +‘What, you will not? I thought how it would be. I am Proserpine, your +beloved, adored Proserpine. You have no wish, no hope, no thought but +for me! I have only to speak, and what I desire will be instantly done! +And I do speak, I tell you my wish, I express to you my desire, and I +am instantly refused! And what have I requested? Is it such a mighty +favour? Is it anything unreasonable? Is there, indeed, in my entreaty +anything so vastly out of the way? The death of a dog, a disgusting +animal, which has already shaken my nerves to pieces; and if ever (here +she hid her face in his breast), if ever that event should occur which +both must desire, my Pluto, I am sure the very sight of that horrible +beast will--I dare not say what it will do.’ + +Pluto looked puzzled. + +‘Indeed, my Proserpine, it is not in my power to grant your request; for +Cerberus is immortal, like ourselves.’ + +‘Me! miserable!’ + +‘Some arrangement, however, may be made to keep him out of your sight +and hearing. I can banish him.’ + +‘Can you, indeed? Oh! banish him, my Pluto! pray banish him! I never +shall be happy until Cerberus is banished.’ + +‘I will do anything you desire; but I confess to you I have some +misgivings. He is an invaluable watch-dog; and I fear, without his +superintendence, the guardians of the gate will scarcely do their duty.’ + +‘Oh! yes: I am sure they will, my Pluto! I will ask them to, I will ask +them myself, I will request them, as a particular and personal favour to +myself, to be very careful indeed. And if they do their duty, and I am +sure they will, they shall be styled, as a reward, “Proserpine’s Own +Guards.”’ + +‘A reward, indeed!’ said the enamoured monarch, as, with a sigh, he +signed the order for the banishment of Cerberus in the form of his +promotion to the office of Master of the royal and imperial bloodhounds. + +The burning waves of Phlegethon assumed a lighter hue. It was morning. +It was the morning after the arrival of Pluto and his unexpected bride. +In one of the principal rooms of the palace three beautiful females, +clothed in cerulean robes spangled with stars, and their heads adorned +with golden crowns, were at work together. One held a distaff, from +which the second spun; and the third wielded an enormous pair of +adamantine shears, with which she perpetually severed the labours of her +sisters. Tall were they in stature and beautiful in form. Very fair; +an expression of haughty serenity pervaded their majestic countenances. +Their three companions, however, though apparently of the same sex, were +of a different character. If women can ever be ugly, certainly +these three ladies might put in a valid claim to that epithet. Their +complexions were dark and withered, and their eyes, though bright, were +bloodshot. Scantily clothed in black garments, not unstained with gore, +their wan and offensive forms were but slightly veiled. Their hands were +talons; their feet cloven; and serpents were wreathed round their brows +instead of hair. Their restless and agitated carriage afforded also not +less striking contrast to the polished and aristocratic demeanour of +their companions. They paced the chamber with hurried and unequal steps, +and wild and uncouth gestures; waving, with a reckless ferocity, burning +torches and whips of scorpions. It is hardly necessary to add that these +were the Furies, and that the conversation which I am about to report +was carried on with the Fates. + +‘A thousand serpents!’ shrieked Tisiphone. ‘I will never believe it.’ + +‘Racks and flames!’ squeaked Megaera. ‘It is impossible.’ + +‘Eternal torture!’ moaned Alecto. ‘‘Tis a lie.’ + +‘Not Jupiter himself should convince us!’ the Furies joined in infernal +chorus. + +‘‘Tis nevertheless true,’ calmly observed the beautiful Clotho. + +‘You will soon have the honour of being presented to her,’ added the +serene Lachesis. + +‘And whatever we may feel,’ observed the considerate Atropos, ‘I think, +my dear girls, you had better restrain yourselves.’ + +‘And what sort of thing is she?’ inquired Tisiphone, with a shriek. + +‘I have heard that she is lovely,’ answered Clotho. ‘Indeed, it is +impossible to account for the affair in any other way.’ + +‘‘Tis neither possible to account for nor to justify it,’ squeaked +Megaera. + +‘Is there, indeed, a Queen in Hell?’ moaned Alecto. + +‘We shall hold no more drawing-rooms,’ said Lachesis. + +‘We will never attend hers,’ said the Furies. + +‘You must,’ replied the Fates. + +‘I have no doubt she will give herself airs,’ shrieked Tisiphone. + +‘We must remember where she has been brought up, and be considerate,’ +replied Lachesis. + +‘I dare say you three will get on very well with her,’ squeaked Megasra. +‘You always get on well with people.’ + +‘We must remember how very strange things here must appear to her,’ +observed Atropos. + +‘No one can deny that there are some very disagreeable sights,’ said +Clotho. + +‘There is something in that,’ replied Tisiphone, looking in the glass, +and arranging her serpents; ‘and for my part, poor girl, I almost pity +her, when I think she will have to visit the Harpies.’ + +At this moment four little pages entered the room, who, without +exception, were the most hideous dwarfs that ever attended upon a +monarch. They were clothed only in parti-coloured tunics, and their +breasts and legs were quite bare. From the countenance of the first you +would have supposed he was in a convulsion; his hands were clenched +and his hair stood on end: this was Terror! The protruded veins of the +second seemed ready to burst, and his rubicund visage decidedly proved +that he had blood in his head; this was Rage! The third was of an ashen +colour throughout: this was Paleness! And the fourth, with a countenance +not without traces of beauty, was even more disgusting than his +companions from the quantity of horrible flies, centipedes, snails, and +other noisome, slimy, and indescribable monstrosities that were crawling +all about his body and feeding on his decaying features. The name of +this fourth page was Death! + +‘The King and Queen!’ announced the pages. + +Pluto, during the night, had prepared Proserpine for the worst, and had +endeavoured to persuade her that his love would ever compensate for +all annoyances. She was in excellent spirits and in very good humour; +therefore, though she could with difficulty stifle a scream when she +recognised the Furies, she received the congratulations of the Parcae +with much cordiality. + +‘I have the pleasure, Proserpine, of presenting you to my family,’ said +Pluto. + +‘Who, I am sure, hope to make Hades agreeable to your Majesty,’ rejoined +Clotho. The Furies uttered a suppressed sound between a murmur and a +growl. + +‘I have ordered the chariot,’ said Pluto. ‘I propose to take the Queen a +ride, and show her some of our lions.’ + +‘She will, I am sure, be delighted,’ said Lachesis. + +‘I long to see Ixion,’ said Proserpine. + +‘The wretch!’ shrieked Tisiphone. + +‘I cannot help thinking that he has been very unfairly treated,’ said +Proserpine. + +‘What!’ squeaked Megaera. ‘The ravisher!’ + +‘Ay! it is all very well,’ replied Proserpine; ‘but, for my part, if we +knew the truth of that affair-----’ + +‘Is it possible that your Majesty can speak in such a tone of levity of +such an offender?’ shrieked Tisiphone. + +‘Is it possible?’ moaned Alecto. + +‘Ah! you have heard only one side of the question; but for my part, +knowing as much of Juno as I do-----’ + +‘The Queen of Heaven!’ observed Atropos, with an intimidating glance. + +‘The Queen of Fiddlestick!’ said Proserpine; ‘as great a flirt as ever +existed, with all her prudish looks.’ + +The Fates and the Furies exchanged glances of astonishment and horror. + +‘For my part,’ continued Proserpine, ‘I make it a rule to support the +weaker side, and nothing will ever persuade me that Ixion is not a +victim, and a pitiable one.’ + +‘Well! men generally have the best of it in these affairs,’ said +Lachesis, with a forced smile. + +‘Juno ought to be ashamed of herself,’ said Proserpine. ‘Had I been in +her situation, they should have tied me to a wheel first. At any rate, +they ought to have punished him in Heaven. I have no idea of those +people sending every _mauvais sujet_ to Hell.’ + +‘But what shall we do?’ inquired Pluto, who wished to turn the +conversation. + +‘Shall we turn out a sinner and hunt him for her Majesty’s diversion?’ +suggested Tisiphone, flanking her serpents. + +‘Nothing of the kind will ever divert me,’ said Proserpine; ‘for I have +no hesitation in saying that I do not at all approve of these eternal +punishments, or, indeed, of any punishment whatever.’ + +‘The heretic!’ whispered Tisiphone to Megaera. Alecto moaned. + +‘It might be more interesting to her Majesty,’ said Atropos, ‘to witness +some of those extraordinary instances of predestined misery with which +Hades abounds. Shall we visit OEdipus?’ + +‘Poor fellow!’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘For myself, I willingly confess +that torture disgusts and Destiny puzzles me.’ + +The Fates and the Furies all alike started. + +‘I do not understand this riddle of Destiny,’ continued the young Queen. +‘If you, Parcae, have predestined that a man should commit a crime, +it appears to me very unjust that you should afterwards call upon the +Furies to punish him for its commission.’ + +‘But man is a free agent,’ observed Lachesis, in as mild a tone as she +could command. + +‘Then what becomes of Destiny?’ replied Proserpine. + +‘Destiny is eternal and irresistible,’ replied Clotho. ‘All is ordained; +but man is, nevertheless, master of his own actions.’ + +‘I do not understand that,’ said Proserpine. + +‘It is not meant to be understood,’ said Atropos; ‘but you must +nevertheless believe it.’ + +‘I make it a rule only to believe what I understand,’ replied +Proserpine. + +‘It appears,’ said Lachesis, with a blended glance of contempt and +vengeance, ‘that your Majesty, though a goddess, is an atheist.’ + +‘As for that, anybody may call me just what they please, provided they +do nothing else. So long as I am not tied to a wheel or whipped with +scorpions for speaking my mind, I shall be as tolerant of the speech and +acts of others as I expect them to be tolerant of mine. Come, Pluto, I +am sure that the chariot must be ready!’ + +So saying, her Majesty took the arm of her spouse, and with a haughty +curtsey left the apartment. + +‘Did you ever!’ shrieked Tisiphone, as the door closed. + +‘No! never!’ squeaked Megaera. + +‘Never! never!’ moaned Alecto. + +‘She must understand what she believes, must she?’ said Lachesis, +scarcely less irritated. + +‘I never heard such nonsense,’ said Clotho. + +‘What next!’ said Atropos. + +‘Disgusted with torture!’ exclaimed the Furies. + +‘Puzzled with Destiny!’ said the Fates. + +It was the third morning after the Infernal Marriage; the slumbering +Proserpine reposed in the arms of the snoring Pluto. There was a loud +knocking at the chamber-door. Pluto jumped up in the middle of a dream. + +‘My life, what is the matter?’ exclaimed Proserpine. + +The knocking was repeated and increased. There was also a loud shout of +‘treason, murder, and fire!’ + +‘What is the matter?’ exclaimed the god, jumping out of bed and seizing +his trident. ‘Who is there?’ + +‘Your pages, your faithful pages! Treason! treason! For the sake of +Hell, open the door. Murder, fire, treason!’ + +‘Enter!’ said Pluto, as the door was unlocked. + +And Terror and Rage entered. + +‘You frightful things, get out of the room!’ cried Proserpine. + +‘A moment, my angel!’ said Pluto, ‘a single moment. Be not alarmed, my +best love; I pray you be not alarmed. Well, imps, why am I disturbed?’ + +‘Oh!’ said Terror. Rage could not speak, but gnashed his teeth and +stamped his feet. + +‘O-o-o-h!’ repeated Terror. + +‘Speak, cursed imps!’ cried the enraged Pluto; and he raised his arm. + +‘A man! a man!’ cried Terror. ‘Treason, treason! a man! a man!’ + +‘What man?’ said Pluto, in a rage. + +‘A man, a live man, has entered Hell!’ + +‘You don’t say so?’ said Proserpine; ‘a man, a live man. Let me see him +immediately.’ + +‘Where is he?’ said Pluto; ‘what is he doing?’ + +‘He is here, there, and everywhere! asking for your wife, and singing +like anything.’ + +‘Proserpine!’ said Pluto, reproachfully; but, to do the god justice, he +was more astounded than jealous. + +‘I am sure I shall be delighted to see him; it is so long since I have +seen a live man,’ said Proserpine. ‘Who can he be? A man, and a live +man! How delightful! It must be a messenger from my mother.’ + +‘But how came he here?’ + +‘Ah! how came he here?’ echoed Terror. + +‘No time must be lost!’ exclaimed Pluto, scrambling on his robe. ‘Seize +him, and bring him into the council chamber. My charming Proserpine, +excuse me for a moment.’ + +‘Not at all; I will accompany you.’ + +‘But, my love, my sweetest, my own, this is business; these are affairs +of state. The council chamber is not a place for you.’ + +‘And why not?’ said Proserpine. ‘I have no idea of ever leaving you for +a moment. Why not for me as well as for the Fates and the Furies? Am I +not Queen? I have no idea of such nonsense!’ + +‘My love!’ said the deprecating husband. + +‘You don’t go without me,’ said the imperious wife, seizing his robe. + +‘I must,’ said Pluto. + +‘Then you shall never return,’ said Proserpine. + +‘Enchantress! be reasonable.’ + +‘I never was, and I never will be,’ replied the Goddess. + +‘Treason! treason!’ screamed Terror. + +‘My love, I must go!’ + +‘Pluto,’ said Proserpine, ‘understand me once for all, I will not be +contradicted.’ + +Rage stamped his foot. + +‘Proserpine, understand me once for all, it is impossible,’ said the +God, frowning. + +‘My Pluto!’ said the Queen. ‘Is it my Pluto who speaks thus sternly to +me? Is it he who, but an hour ago, a short hour ago, died upon my bosom +in transports and stifled me with kisses! Unhappy woman! wretched, +miserable Proserpine! Oh! my mother! my kind, my affectionate mother! +Have I disobeyed you for this! For this have I deserted you! For this +have I broken your beloved heart!’ She buried her face in the crimson +counterpane, and bedewed its gorgeous embroidery with her fast-flowing +tears. + +‘Treason!’ shouted Terror. + +‘Ha! ha! ha!’ exclaimed the hysterical Proserpine. + +‘What am I to do?’ cried Pluto. ‘Proserpine, my adored, my beloved, my +enchanting Proserpine, compose yourself; for my sake, compose yourself. +I love you! I adore you! You know it! oh! indeed you know it!’ + +The hysterics increased. + +‘Treason! treason!’ shouted Terror. + +‘Hold your infernal tongue,’ said Pluto. ‘What do I care for treason +when the Queen is in this state?’ He knelt by the bedside, and tried to +stop her mouth with kisses, and ever and anon whispered his passion. ‘My +Proserpine, I beseech you to be calm; I will do anything you like. Come, +come, then, to the council!’ + +The hysterics ceased; the Queen clasped him in her arms and rewarded him +with a thousand embraces. Then, jumping up, she bathed her swollen eyes +with a beautiful cosmetic that she and her maidens had distilled from +the flowers of Enna; and, wrapping herself up in her shawl, descended +with his Majesty, who was quite as much puzzled about the cause of this +disturbance as when he was first roused. + +Crossing an immense covered bridge, the origin of the Bridge of Sighs at +Venice, over the royal gardens, which consisted entirely of cypress, +the royal pair, preceded by the pages-in-waiting, entered the council +chamber. The council was already assembled. On either side of a throne +of sulphur, from which issued the four infernal rivers of Lethe, +Phlegethon, Cocytus, and Acheron, were ranged the Eumenides and Parcae. +Lachesis and her sisters turned up their noses when they observed +Proserpine; but the Eumenides could not stifle their fury, in spite of +the hints of their more subdued but not less malignant companions. + +‘What is all this?’ inquired Pluto. + +‘The constitution is in danger,’ said the Parcae in chorus. + +‘Both in church and state,’ added the Furies. ‘‘Tis a case of treason +and blasphemy;’ and they waved their torches and shook their whips with +delighted anticipation of their use. + +‘Detail the circumstances,’ said Pluto, waving his hand majestically to +Lachesis, in whose good sense he had great confidence. + +‘A man, a living man, has entered your kingdom, unknown and unnoticed,’ +said Lachesis. + +‘By my sceptre, is it true?’ said the astonished King. ‘Is he seized?’ + +‘The extraordinary mortal baffles our efforts,’ said Lachesis. ‘He +bears with him a lyre, the charmed gift of Apollo, and so seducing are +his strains that in vain our guards advance to arrest his course; they +immediately begin dancing, and he easily eludes their efforts. The +general confusion is indescribable. All business is at a standstill: +Ixion rests upon his wheel; old Sisyphus sits down on his mountain, +and his stone has fallen with a terrible plash into Acheron. In short, +unless we are energetic, we are on the eve of a revolution.’ + +‘His purpose?’ + +‘He seeks yourself and--her Majesty,’ added Lachesis, with a sneer. + +‘Immediately announce that we will receive him.’ + +The unexpected guest was not slow in acknowledging the royal summons. +A hasty treaty was drawn up; he was to enter the palace unmolested, +on condition that he ceased playing his lyre. The Fates and the Furies +exchanged significant glances as his approach was announced. + +The man, the live man, who had committed the unprecedented crime of +entering Hell without a licence, and the previous deposit of his soul as +security for the good behaviour of his body, stood before the surprised +and indignant Court of Hades. Tall and graceful in stature, and crowned +with laurels, Proserpine was glad to observe that the man, who was +evidently famous, was also good-looking. + +‘Thy purpose, mortal?’ inquired Pluto, with awful majesty. + +‘Mercy!’ answered the stranger in a voice of exquisite melody, and +sufficiently embarrassed to render him interesting. + +‘What is mercy?’ inquired the Fates and the Furies. + +‘Speak, stranger, without fear,’ said Proserpine. ‘Thy name?’ + +‘Is Orpheus; but a few days back the too happy husband of the enchanting +Eurydice. Alas! dread King, and thou too, beautiful and benignant +partner of his throne, I won her by my lyre, and by my lyre I would +redeem her. Know, then, that in the very glow of our gratified passion +a serpent crept under the flowers on which we reposed, and by a fatal +sting summoned my adored to the shades. Why did it not also summon me? +I will not say why should I not have been the victim in her stead; for +I feel too keenly that the doom of Eurydice would not have been less +forlorn, had she been the wretched being who had been spared to life. O +King! they whispered on earth that thou too hadst yielded thy heart to +the charms of love. Pluto, they whispered, is no longer stern: Pluto +also feels the all-subduing influence of beauty. Dread monarch, by the +self-same passion that rages in our breasts alike, I implore thy mercy. +Thou hast risen from the couch of love, the arm of thy adored has +pressed upon thy heart, her honied lips have clung with rapture +to thine, still echo in thy ears all the enchanting phrases of her +idolatry. Then, by the memory of these, by all the higher and ineffable +joys to which these lead, King of Hades, spare me, oh! spare me, +Eurydice!’ + +Proserpine threw her arms round the neck of her husband, and, hiding her +face in his breast, wept. + +‘Rash mortal, you demand that which is not in the power of Pluto to +concede,’ said Lachesis. + +‘I have heard much of treason since my entrance into Hades,’ replied +Orpheus, ‘and this sounds like it.’ + +‘Mortal!’ exclaimed Clotho, with contempt. + +‘Nor is it in your power to return, sir,’ said Tisiphone, shaking her +whip. + +‘We have accounts to settle with you,’ said Megaera. + +‘Spare her, spare her,’ murmured Proserpine to her lover. + +‘King of Hades!’ said Lachesis, with much dignity, ‘I hold a +responsible office in your realm, and I claim the constitutional +privilege of your attention. I protest against the undue influence +of the Queen. She is a power unknown in our constitution, and an +irresponsible agent that I will not recognise. Let her go back to the +drawing-room, where all will bow to her.’ + +‘Hag!’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘King of Hades, I, too, can appeal to you. +Have I accepted your crown to be insulted by your subjects?’ + +‘A subject, may it please your Majesty, who has duties as strictly +defined by our infernal constitution as those of your royal spouse; +duties, too, which, let me tell you, madam, I and _my order_ are +resolved to perform.’ + +‘Gods of Olympus!’ cried Proserpine. ‘Is this to be a Queen?’ + +‘Before we proceed further in this discussion,’ said Lachesis, ‘I must +move an inquiry into the conduct of his Excellency the Governor of the +Gates. I move, then, that Cerberus be summoned. + +Pluto started, and the blood rose to his dark cheek. ‘I have not yet had +an opportunity of mentioning,’ said his Majesty, in a low tone, and with +an air of considerable confusion, ‘that I have thought fit, as a reward +for his past services, to promote Cerberus to the office of the Master +of the Hounds. He therefore is no longer responsible.’ + +‘O-h!’ shrieked the Furies, as they elevated their hideous eyes. + +‘The constitution has invested your Majesty with a power in the +appointment of your Officers of State which your Majesty has undoubtedly +a right to exercise,’ said Lachesis. ‘What degree of discretion it +anticipated in the exercise, it is now unnecessary, and would be +extremely disagreeable, to discuss. I shall not venture to inquire by +what new influence your Majesty has been guided in the present instance. +The consequence of your Majesty’s conduct is obvious, in the very +difficult situation in which your realm is now placed. For myself and my +colleagues, I have only to observe that we decline, under this crisis, +any further responsibility; and the distaff and the shears are at your +Majesty’s service the moment your Majesty may find convenient successors +to the present holders. As a last favour, in addition to the many we are +proud to remember we have received from your Majesty, we entreat that we +may be relieved from their burthen as quickly as possible.’ (Loud cheers +from the Eumenides.) + +‘We had better recall Cerberus,’ said Pluto, alarmed, ‘and send this +mortal about his business.’ + +‘Not without Eurydice. Oh! not without Eurydice,’ said the Queen. + +‘Silence, Proserpine!’ said Pluto. + +‘May it please your Majesty,’ said Lachesis, ‘I am doubtful whether we +have the power of expelling anyone from Hades. It is not less the law +that a mortal cannot remain here; and it is too notorious for me to +mention the fact that none here have the power of inflicting death.’ + +‘Of what use are all your laws,’ exclaimed Proserpine, ‘if they are only +to perplex us? As there are no statutes to guide us, it is obvious that +the King’s will is supreme. Let Orpheus depart, then, with his bride.’ + +‘The latter suggestion is clearly illegal,’ said Lachesis. + +‘Lachesis, and ye, her sisters,’ said Proserpine, ‘forget, I beseech +you, any warm words that may have passed between us, and, as a personal +favour to one who would willingly be your friend, release Eurydice. +What! you shake your heads! Nay; of what importance can be a single +miserable shade, and one, too, summoned so cruelly before her time, in +these thickly-peopled regions?’ + +‘‘Tis the principle,’ said Lachesis; ‘‘tis the principle. Concession is +ever fatal, however slight. Grant this demand; others, and greater, will +quickly follow. Mercy becomes a precedent, and the realm is ruined.’ + +‘Ruined!’ echoed the Furies. + +‘And I say _preserved!_’ exclaimed Proserpine with energy. ‘The State is +in confusion, and you yourselves confess that you know not how to remedy +it. Unable to suggest a course, follow mine. I am the advocate of +mercy; I am the advocate of concession; and, as you despise all higher +impulses, I meet you on your own grounds. I am their advocate for the +sake of policy, of expediency.’ + +‘Never!’ said the Fates. + +‘Never!’ shrieked the Furies. + +‘What, then, will you do with Orpheus?’ + +The Parcae shook their heads; even the Eumenides were silent. + +‘Then you are unable to carry on the King’s government; for Orpheus must +be disposed of; all agree to that. Pluto, reject these counsellors, at +once insulting and incapable. Give me the distaff and the fatal shears. +At once form a new Cabinet; and let the release of Orpheus and Eurydice +be the basis of their policy.’ She threw her arms round his neck and +whispered in his ear. + +Pluto was perplexed; his confidence in the Parcae was shaken. A +difficulty had occurred with which they could not cope. It was true the +difficulty had been occasioned by a departure from their own exclusive +and restrictive policy. It was clear that the gates of Hell ought never +to have been opened to the stranger; but opened they had been. Forced to +decide, he decided on the side of _expediency_, and signed a decree for +the departure of Orpheus and Eurydice. The Parcas immediately resigned +their posts, and the Furies walked off in a huff. Thus, on the third day +of the Infernal Marriage, Pluto found that he had quarrelled with all +his family, and that his ancient administration was broken up. The King +was without a friend, and Hell was without a Government! + + + + +PART II. + + _A Visit to Elysium_ + +LET us change the scene from Hades to Olympus. + +A chariot drawn by dragons hovered over that superb palace whose +sparkling steps of lapislazuli were once pressed by the daring foot of +Ixion. It descended into the beautiful gardens, and Ceres, stepping out, +sought the presence of Jove. + +‘Father of gods and men,’ said the majestic mother of Proserpine, +‘listen to a distracted parent! All my hopes were centred in my +daughter, the daughter of whom you have deprived me. Is it for this that +I endured the pangs of childbirth? Is it for this that I suckled her +on this miserable bosom? Is it for this that I tended her girlish +innocence, watched with vigilant fondness the development of her +youthful mind, and cultured with a thousand graces and accomplishments +her gifted and unrivalled promise? to lose her for ever!’ + +‘Beloved Bona Dea,’ replied Jove, ‘calm yourself!’ + +‘Jupiter, you forget that I am a mother.’ + +‘It is the recollection of that happy circumstance that alone should +make you satisfied.’ + +‘Do you mock me? Where is my daughter?’ + +‘In the very situation you should desire. In her destiny all is +fulfilled which the most affectionate mother could hope. What was the +object of all your care and all her accomplishments? a good parti; and +she has found one.’ + +‘To reign in Hell!’ + +‘“Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.” What! would you have +had her a cup-bearer, like Hebe, or a messenger, like Hermes? Was +the daughter of Jove and Ceres to be destined to a mere place in our +household! Lady! she is the object of envy to half the goddesses. Bating +our own bed, which she could not share, what lot more distinguished than +hers? Recollect that goddesses, who desire a becoming match, have a +very limited circle to elect from. Even Venus was obliged to put up with +Vulcan. It will not do to be too nice. Thank your stars that she is not +an old maid like Minerva.’ + +‘But Mars? he loved her.’ + +‘A young officer only with his half-pay, however good his connections, +is surely not a proper mate for our daughter.’ + +‘Apollo?’ + +‘I have no opinion of a literary son-in-law. These scribblers are at +present the fashion, and are very well to ask to dinner; but I confess a +more intimate connection with them is not at all to my taste.’ + +‘I meet Apollo everywhere.’ + +‘The truth is, he is courted because every one is afraid of him. He is +the editor of a daily journal, and under the pretence of throwing light +upon every subject, brings a great many disagreeable things into notice, +which is excessively inconvenient. Nobody likes to be paragraphed; and +for my part I should only be too happy to extinguish the Sun and every +other newspaper were it only in my power.’ + +‘But Pluto is so old, and so ugly, and, all agree, so ill-tempered.’ + +‘He has a splendid income, a magnificent estate; his settlements are +worthy of his means. This ought to satisfy a mother; and his political +influence is necessary to me, and this satisfies a father.’ + +‘But the heart-----’ + +‘As for that, she fancies she loves him; and whether she do or not, +these feelings, we know, never last. Rest assured, my dear Ceres, that +our girl has made a brilliant match, in spite of the gloomy atmosphere +in which she has to reside.’ + +‘It must end in misery. I know Proserpine. I confess it with tears, she +is a spoiled child.’ + +‘This may occasion Pluto many uneasy moments; but that is nothing to you +or me. Between ourselves, I shall not be at all surprised if she plague +his life out.’ + +‘But how can she consort with the Fates? How is it possible for her +to associate with the Furies? She, who is used to the gayest and most +amiable society in the world? Indeed, indeed, ‘tis an ill-assorted +union!’ + +‘They are united, however; and, take my word for it, my dear madam, that +you had better leave Pluto alone. The interference of a mother-in-law is +proverbially never very felicitous.’ + +In the meantime affairs went on swimmingly in Tartarus. The obstinate +Fates and the sulky Furies were unwittingly the cause of universal +satisfaction. Everyone enjoyed himself, and enjoyment when it is +unexpected is doubly satisfactory. Tantalus, Sisyphus, and Ixion, for +the first time during their punishment, had an opportunity for a little +conversation. + +‘Long live our reforming Queen,’ said the ex-king of Lydia. ‘You +cannot conceive, my dear companions, anything more delightful than this +long-coveted draught of cold water; its flavour far surpasses the memory +of my choicest wines. And as for this delicious fruit, one must live +in a hot climate, like our present one, sufficiently to appreciate +its refreshing gust. I would, my dear friends, you could only share my +banquet.’ + +‘Your Majesty is very kind,’ replied Sisyphus, ‘but it seems to me that +nothing in the world will ever induce me again to move. One must have +toiled for ages to comprehend the rapturous sense of repose that now +pervades my exhausted frame. Is it possible that that damned stone can +really have disappeared?’ + +‘You say truly,’ said Ixion, ‘the couches of Olympus cannot compare with +this resting wheel.’ + +‘Noble Sisyphus,’ rejoined Tantalus, ‘we are both of us acquainted with +the cause of our companion’s presence in those infernal regions, since +his daring exploit has had the good fortune of being celebrated by one +of the fashionable authors of this part of the world.’ + +‘I have never had time to read his work,’ interrupted Ixion. ‘What sort +of a fellow is he?’ + +‘One of the most conceited dogs that I ever met with,’ replied the King. +‘He thinks he is a great genius, and perhaps he has some little talent +for the extravagant.’ + +‘Are there any critics in Hell?’ + +‘Myriads. They abound about the marshes of Cocytus, where they croak +furiously. They are all to a man against our author.’ + +‘That speaks more to his credit than his own self-opinion,’ rejoined +Ixion. + +‘_A nous moutons!_’ exclaimed Tantalus; ‘I was about to observe that +I am curious to learn for what reason our friend Sisyphus was doomed to +his late terrible exertions.’ + +‘For the simplest in the world,’ replied the object of the inquiry; +‘because I was not a hypocrite. No one ever led a pleasanter life than +myself, and no one was more popular in society. I was considered, as +they phrased it, the most long-headed prince of my time, and was in +truth a finished man of the world. I had not an acquaintance whom I had +not taken in, and gods and men alike favoured me. In an unlucky moment, +however, I offended the infernal deities, and it was then suddenly +discovered that I was the most abandoned character of my age. You know +the rest.’ + +‘You seem,’ exclaimed Tantalus, ‘to be relating my own history; for I +myself led a reckless career with impunity, until some of the gods did +me the honour of dining with me, and were dissatisfied with the repast. +I am convinced myself that, provided a man frequent the temples, and +observe with strictness the sacred festivals, such is the force of +public opinion, that there is no crime which he may not commit without +hazard.’ + +‘Long live hypocrisy!’ exclaimed Ixion. ‘It is not my forte. But if I +began life anew, I would be more observant in my sacrifices.’ + +‘Who could have anticipated this wonderful revolution!’ exclaimed +Sisyphus, stretching himself. ‘I wonder what will occur next! Perhaps we +shall be all released.’ + +‘You say truly,’ said Ixion. ‘I am grateful to our reforming Queen; +but I have no idea of stopping here. This cursed wheel indeed no longer +whirls; but I confess my expectations will be much disappointed if I +cannot free myself from these adamantine bonds that fix me to its orb.’ + +‘And one cannot drink water for ever,’ said Tantalus. + +‘D--n all half measures,’ said Ixion. ‘We must proceed in this system of +amelioration.’ + +‘Without doubt,’ responded his companion. + +‘The Queen must have a party,’ continued the audacious lover of Juno. +‘The Fates and the Furies never can be conciliated. It is evident to me +that she must fall unless she unbinds these chains of mine.’ + +‘And grants me full liberty of egress and regress,’ exclaimed Sisyphus. + +‘And me a bottle of the finest golden wine of Lydia,’ said Tantalus. + +The infernal honeymoon was over. A cloud appeared in the hitherto serene +heaven of the royal lovers. Proserpine became unwell. A mysterious +languor pervaded her frame; her accustomed hilarity deserted her. She +gave up her daily rides; she never quitted the palace, scarcely her +chamber. All day long she remained lying on a sofa, and whenever Pluto +endeavoured to console her she went into hysterics. His Majesty was +quite miserable, and the Fates and the Furies began to hold up their +heads. The two court physicians could throw no light upon the complaint, +which baffled all their remedies. These, indeed, were not numerous, +for the two physicians possessed each only one idea. With one every +complaint was nervous; the other traced everything to the liver. The +name of the first was Dr. Blue-Devil; and of the other Dr. Blue-Pill. +They were most eminent men. + +Her Majesty, getting worse every day, Pluto, in despair, determined to +send for AEsculapius. It was a long way to send for a physician; but then +he was the most fashionable one in the world. He cared not how far he +travelled to visit a patient, because he was paid by the mile; and it +was calculated that his fee for quitting earth, and attending the Queen +of Hell, would allow him to leave off business. + +What a wise physician was AEsculapius! Physic was his abhorrence. He +never was known, in the whole course of his practice, ever to have +prescribed a single drug. He was a handsome man, with a flowing beard +curiously perfumed, and a robe of the choicest purple. He twirled a cane +of agate, round which was twined a serpent of precious stones, the gift +of Juno, and he rode in a chariot drawn by horses of the Sun. When he +visited Proserpine, he neither examined her tongue nor felt her pulse, +but gave her an account of a fancy ball which he had attended the last +evening he passed on _terra firma_. His details were so interesting that +the Queen soon felt better. The next day he renewed his visit, and gave +her an account of a new singer that had appeared at Ephesus. The effect +of this recital was so satisfactory, that a bulletin in the evening +announced that the Queen was convalescent. The third day AEsculapius +took his departure, having previously enjoined change of scene for her +Majesty, and a visit to the Elysian Fields! + +‘Heh, heh!’ shrieked Tisiphone. + +‘Hah, hah!’ squeaked Megaera. + +‘Hoh, hoh!’ moaned Alecto. + +‘Now or never,’ said the infernal sisters. ‘There is a decided reaction. +The moment she embarks, unquestionably we will flare up.’ So they ran +off to the Fates. + +‘We must be prudent,’ said Clotho. + +‘Our time is not come,’ remarked Lachesis. + +‘I wish the reaction was more decided,’ said Atropos; ‘but it is a +great thing that they are going to be parted, for the King must remain.’ + +The opposition party, although aiming at the same result, was therefore +evidently divided as to the means by which it was to be obtained. The +sanguine Furies were for fighting it out at once, and talked bravely +of the strong conservative spirit only dormant in Tartarus. Even the +Radicals themselves are dissatisfied: Tantalus is no longer contented +with water, or Ixion with repose. But the circumspect Fates felt that a +false step at present could never be regained. They talked, therefore, +of watching events. Both divisions, however, agreed that the royal +embarkation was to be the signal for renewed intrigues and renovated +exertions. + +When Proserpine was assured that she must be parted for a time from +Pluto, she was inconsolable. They passed the night in sorrowful +embraces. She vowed that she could not live a day without him, and that +she certainly should die before she reached the first post. The mighty +heart of the King of Hades was torn to pieces with contending emotions. +In the agony of his overwhelming passion the security of his realm +seemed of secondary importance compared with the happiness of his wife. +Fear and hatred of the Parcae and the Eumenides equalled, however, +in the breast of Proserpine, her affection for her husband. The +consciousness that his absence would be a signal for a revolution, and +that the crown of Tartarus might be lost to her expected offspring, +animated her with a spirit of heroism. She reconciled herself to the +terrible separation, on condition that Pluto wrote to her every day. + +‘Adieu! my best, my only beloved!’ ejaculated the unhappy Queen; ‘do not +forget me for a moment; and let nothing in the world induce you to speak +to any of those horrid people. I know them; I know exactly what they +will be at: the moment I am gone they will commence their intrigues for +the restoration of the reign of doom and torture. Do not listen to them, +my Pluto. Sooner than have recourse to them, seek assistance from their +former victims.’ + +‘Calm yourself, my Proserpine. Anticipate no evil. I shall be firm; do +not doubt me. I will cling with tenacity to that _juste milieu_ under +which we have hitherto so eminently prospered. Neither the Parcae and the +Eumenides, nor Ixion and his friends, shall advance a point. I will keep +each faction in awe by the bugbear of the other’s supremacy. Trust me, I +am a profound politician.’ + +It was determined that the progress of Proserpine to the Elysian Fields +should be celebrated with a pomp and magnificence becoming her exalted +station. The day of her departure was proclaimed as a high festival in +Hell. Tiresias, absent on a secret mission, had been summoned back by +Pluto, and appointed to attend her Majesty during her journey and her +visit, for Pluto had the greatest confidence in his discretion. Besides, +as her Majesty had not at present the advantage of any female society, +it was necessary that she should be amused; and Tiresias, though +old, ugly, and blind, was a wit as well as a philosopher, the most +distinguished diplomatist of his age, and considered the best company in +Hades. + +An immense crowd was assembled round the gates of the palace on the morn +of the royal departure. With what anxious curiosity did they watch those +huge brazen portals! Every precaution was taken for the accommodation of +the public. The streets were lined with troops of extraordinary stature, +whose nodding plumes prevented the multitude from catching a glimpse of +anything that passed, and who cracked the skulls of the populace with +their scimitars if they attempted in the slightest degree to break the +line. Moreover, there were seats erected which any one might occupy at +a reasonable rate; but the lord steward, who had the disposal of the +tickets, purchased them all for himself, and then resold them to his +fellow-subjects at an enormous price. + +At length the hinges of the gigantic portals gave an ominous creak, +and, amid the huzzas of men and the shrieks of women, the procession +commenced. + +First came the infernal band. It consisted of five hundred performers, +mounted on different animals. Never was such a melodious blast. Fifty +trumpeters, mounted on zebras of all possible stripes and tints, and +working away at huge ramshorns with their cheeks like pumpkins. Then +there were bassoons mounted on bears, clarionets on camelopards, oboes +on unicorns, and troops of musicians on elephants, playing on real +serpents, whose prismatic bodies indulged in the most extraordinary +convolutions imaginable, and whose arrowy tongues glittered with superb +agitation at the exquisite sounds which they unintentionally delivered. +Animals there were, too, now unknown and forgotten; but I must not +forget the fellow who beat the kettledrums, mounted on an enormous +mammoth, and the din of whose reverberating blows would have deadened +the thunder of Olympus. + +This enchanting harmony preceded the regiment of Proserpine’s own +guards, glowing in adamantine armour and mounted on coal-black steeds. +Their helmets were quite awful, and surmounted by plumes plucked from +the wings of the Harpies, which were alone enough to terrify an earthly +host. It was droll to observe this troop of gigantic heroes commanded +by infants, who, however, were arrayed in a similar costume, though, of +course, on a smaller scale. But such was the admirable discipline of the +infernal forces, that, though lions to their enemies, they were Iambs to +their friends; and on the present occasion their colonel was carried in +a cradle. + +After these came twelve most worshipful baboons, in most venerable wigs. +They were clothed with scarlet robes lined with ermine, and ornamented +with gold chains, and mounted on the most obstinate and inflexible mules +in Tartarus. These were the judges. Each was provided with a pannier of +choice cobnuts, which he cracked with great gravity, throwing the shells +to the multitude, an infernal ceremony, there held emblematic of their +profession. + +The Lord Chancellor came next in a grand car. Although his wig was even +longer than those of his fellow functionaries, his manners and the rest +of his costume afforded a strange contrast to them. Apparently never +was such a droll, lively fellow. His dress was something between that of +Harlequin and Scaramouch. He amused himself by keeping in the air +four brazen balls at the same time, swallowing daggers, spitting fire, +turning sugar into salt, and eating yards of pink ribbon, which, after +being well digested, re-appeared through his nose. It is unnecessary to +add, after this, that he was the most popular Lord Chancellor that had +ever held the seals, and was received with loud and enthusiastic cheers, +which apparently repaid him for all his exertions. Notwithstanding his +numerous and curious occupations, I should not omit to add that his +Lordship, nevertheless, found time to lead by the nose a most meek and +milk-white jackass that immediately followed him, and which, in spite +of the remarkable length of its ears, seemed the object of great +veneration. There was evidently some mystery about this animal difficult +to penetrate. Among other characteristics, it was said, at different +seasons, to be distinguished by different titles; for sometimes it was +styled ‘The Public,’ at others ‘Opinion,’ and occasionally was saluted +as the ‘King’s Conscience.’ + +Now came a numerous company of Priests, in flowing and funereal robes, +bearing banners, inscribed with the various titles of their Queen; on +some was inscribed Hecate, on others Juno Inferna, on others Theogamia, +Libera on some, on others Cotytto. Those that bore banners were crowned +with wreaths of narcissus, and mounted on bulls blacker than night, and +of a severe and melancholy aspect. Others walked by their side, bearing +branches of cypress. + +And here I must stop to notice a droll characteristic of the priestly +economy of Hades. To be a good pedestrian was considered an essential +virtue of an infernal clergyman; but to be mounted on a black bull was +the highest distinction of the craft. It followed, therefore, that, +originally, promotion to such a seat was the natural reward of any +priest who had distinguished himself in the humbler career of a good +walker; but in process of time, as even infernal as well as human +institutions are alike liable to corruption, the black bulls became +too often occupied by the halt and the crippled, the feeble and the +paralytic, who used their influence at Court to become thus exempted +from the performance of the severer duties of which they were incapable. +This violation of the priestly constitution excited at first great +murmurs among the abler but less influential brethren. But the murmurs +of the weak prove only the tyranny of the strong; and so completely in +the course of time do institutions depart from their original character, +that the imbecile riders of the black bulls now avowedly defended their +position on the very grounds which originally should have unseated +them, and openly maintained that it was very evident that the stout were +intended to walk, and the feeble to be carried. + +The priests were followed by fifty dark chariots, drawn by blue satyrs. +Herein was the wardrobe of the Queen, and her Majesty’s cooks. + +Tiresias came next, in a basalt chariot, yoked to royal steeds. He was +attended by Manto, who shared his confidence, and who, some said, was +his daughter, and others his niece. Venerable seer! Who could behold +that flowing beard, and the thin grey hairs of that lofty and wrinkled +brow, without being filled with sensations of awe and affection? A smile +of bland benignity played upon his passionless and reverend countenance. +Fortunate the monarch who is blessed with such a counsellor! Who could +have supposed that all this time Tiresias was concocting an epigram on +Pluto! + +The Queen! The Queen! + +Upon a superb throne, placed upon an immense car, and drawn by twelve +coal-black steeds, four abreast, reposed the royal daughter of Ceres. +Her rich dark hair was braided off her high pale forehead, and fell in +voluptuous clusters over her back. A tiara sculptured out of a single +brilliant, and which darted a flash like lightning on the surrounding +multitude, was placed somewhat negligently on the right side of her +head; but no jewels broke the entrancing swell of her swan-like neck, or +were dimmed by the lustre of her ravishing arms. How fair was the Queen +of Hell! How thrilling the solemn lustre of her violet eye! A robe, +purple as the last hour of twilight, encompassed her transcendent form, +studded with golden stars! + +Through the dim hot streets of Tartarus moved the royal procession, +until it reached the first winding of the river Styx. Here an immense +assemblage of yachts and barges, dressed out with the infernal +colours, denoted the appointed spot of the royal embarkation. Tiresias, +dismounting from his chariot, and leaning on Manto, now approached her +Majesty, and requesting her royal commands, recommended her to lose no +time in getting on board. + +‘When your Majesty is once on the Styx,’ observed the wily seer, ‘it may +be somewhat difficult to recall you to Hades; but I know very little of +Clotho, may it please your Majesty, if she have not already commenced +her intrigues in Tartarus.’ + +‘You alarm me!’ said Proserpine. + +‘It was not my intention. Caution is not fear.’ + +‘But do you think that Pluto------’ + +‘May it please your Majesty, I make it a rule never to think. I know too +much.’ + +‘Let us embark immediately!’ + +‘Certainly; I would recommend your Majesty to get off at once. Myself +and Manto will accompany you, and the cooks. If an order arrive to stay +our departure, we can then send back the priests.’ + +‘You counsel well, Tiresias. I wish you had not been absent on my +arrival. Affairs might have gone better.’ + +‘Not at all. Had I been in Hell, your enemies would have been more wary. +Your Majesty’s excellent spirit carried you through triumphantly; but it +will not do so twice. You turned them out, and I must keep them out.’ + +‘So be it, my dear friend.’ Thus saying, the Queen descended her +throne, and leaving the rest of her retinue to follow with all possible +despatch, embarked on board the infernal yacht, with Tiresias, Manto, +the chief cook, and some chosen attendants, and bid adieu for the first +time, not without agitation, to the gloomy banks of Tartarus. + +The breeze was favourable, and, animated by the exhortations of +Tiresias, the crew exerted themselves to the utmost. The barque swiftly +scudded over the dark waters. The river was of great breadth, and in +this dim region the crew were soon out of sight of land. + +‘You have been in Elysium?’ inquired Proserpine of Tiresias. + +‘I have been everywhere,’ replied the seer, ‘and though I am blind have +managed to see a great deal more than my fellows.’ + +‘I have often heard of you,’ said the Queen, ‘and I confess that yours +is a career which has much interested me. What vicissitudes in affairs +have you not witnessed! And yet you have somehow or other contrived to +make your way through all the storms in which others have sunk, and are +now, as you always have been, in an exalted position. What can be +your magic? I would that you would initiate me. I know that you are a +prophet, and that even the gods consult you.’ + +‘Your Majesty is complimentary. I certainly have had a great deal of +experience. My life has no doubt been a long one, but I have made it +longer by never losing a moment. I was born, too, at a great crisis in +affairs. Everything that took place before the Trojan war passes for +nothing in the annals of wisdom. That was a great revolution in all +affairs human and divine, and from that event we must now date all our +knowledge. Before the Trojan war we used to talk of the rebellion of +the Titans, but that business now is an old almanac. As for my powers of +prophecy, believe me, that those who understand the past are very well +qualified to predict the future. For my success in life, it may be +principally ascribed to the observance of a simple rule--I never +trust anyone, either god or man. I make an exception in favour of the +goddesses, and especially of your Majesty,’ added Tiresias, who piqued +himself on his gallantry. + +While they were thus conversing, the Queen directed the attention +of Manto to a mountainous elevation which now began to rise in the +distance, and which, from the rapidity of the tide and the freshness of +the breeze, they approached at a swift rate. + +‘Behold the Stygian mountains,’ replied Manto. ‘Through their centre +runs the passage of Night which leads to the regions of Twilight.’ + +‘We have, then, far to travel?’ + +‘Assuredly it is no easy task to escape from the gloom of Tartarus +to the sunbeams of Elysium,’ remarked Tiresias; ‘but the pleasant is +generally difficult; let us be grateful that in our instance it is not, +as usual, forbidden.’ + +‘You say truly; I am sorry to confess how very often it appears to +me that sin is enjoyment. But see! how awful are these perpendicular +heights, piercing the descending vapours, with their peaks clothed with +dark pines! We seem land-locked.’ + +But the experienced master of the infernal yacht knew well how to steer +his charge through the intricate windings of the river, which here, +though deep and navigable, became as wild and narrow as a mountain +stream; and, as the tide no longer served them, and the wind, from their +involved course, was as often against them as in their favour, the crew +were obliged to have recourse to their oars, and rowed along until they +arrived at the mouth of an enormous cavern, from which the rapid stream +apparently issued. + +‘I am frightened out of my wits,’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘Surely this +cannot be our course?’ + +‘I hold, from your Majesty’s exclamation,’ said Tiresias, ‘that we have +arrived at the passage of Night. When we have proceeded some hundred +yards, we shall reach the adamantine portals. I pray your Majesty be not +alarmed. I alone have the signet which can force these mystic gates to +open. I must be stirring myself. What, ho! Manto.’ + +‘Here am I, father. Hast thou the seal?’ + +‘In my breast. I would not trust it to my secretaries. They have my +portfolios full of secret despatches, written on purpose to deceive +them; for I know that they are spies in the pay of Minerva; but your +Majesty perceives, with a little prudence, that even a traitor may be +turned to account.’ + +Thus saying, Tiresias, leaning on Manto, hobbled to the poop of the +vessel, and exclaiming aloud, ‘Behold the mighty seal of Dis, whereon +is inscribed the word the Titans fear,’ the gates immediately flew open, +revealing the gigantic form of the Titan Porphyrin, whose head touched +the vault of the mighty cavern, although he was up to his waist in the +waters of the river. + +‘Come, my noble Porphyrion,’ said Tiresias, ‘bestir thyself, I beseech +thee. I have brought thee a Queen. Guide her Majesty, I entreat thee, +with safety through this awful passage of Night.’ + +‘What a horrible creature,’ whispered Proserpine. ‘I wonder you address +him with such courtesy.’ + +‘I am always courteous,’ replied Tiresias. ‘How know I that the Titans +may not yet regain their lost heritage? They are terrible fellows; and +ugly or not, I have no doubt that even your Majesty would not find them +so ill-favoured were they seated in the halls of Olympus.’ + +‘There is something in that,’ replied Proserpine. ‘I almost wish I were +once more in Tartarus.’ + +The Titan Porphyrion in the meantime had fastened a chain-cable to the +vessel, which he placed over his shoulder, and turning his back to the +crew, then wading through the waters, he dragged on the vessel in its +course. The cavern widened, the waters spread. To the joy of Proserpine, +apparently, she once more beheld the moon and stars. + +‘Bright crescent of Diana!’ exclaimed the enraptured Queen, ‘and ye +too, sweet stars, that I have so often watched on the Sicilian plains; +do I, then, indeed again behold you? or is it only some exquisite vision +that entrances my being? for, indeed, I do not feel the freshness of +that breeze that was wont to renovate my languid frame; nor does the +odorous scent of flowers wafted from the shores delight my jaded senses. +What is it? Is it life or death; earth, indeed, or Hell?’ + +‘‘Tis nothing,’ said Tiresias, ‘but a great toy. You must know that +Saturn--until at length, wearied by his ruinous experiments, the gods +expelled him his empire--was a great dabbler in systems. He was always +for making moons brighter than Diana, and lighting the stars by gas; but +his systems never worked. The tides rebelled against their mistress, and +the stars went out with a horrible stench. This is one of his creations, +the most ingenious, though a failure. Jove made it a present to Pluto, +who is quite proud of having a sun and stars of his own, and reckons it +among the choice treasures of his kingdoms.’ + +‘Poor Saturn! I pity him; he meant well.’ ‘Very true. He is the paviour +of the high-street of Hades. But we cannot afford kings, and especially +Gods, to be philosophers. The certainty of misrule is better than the +chance of good government; uncertainty makes people restless.’ + +‘I feel very restless myself; I wish we were in Elysium!’ + +‘The river again narrows!’ exclaimed Manto. ‘There is no other portal +to pass. The Saturnian moon and stars grow fainter, there is a grey tint +expanding in the distance; ‘tis the realm of Twilight; your Majesty will +soon disembark.’ + + + + +PART III. + + _Containing an Account of Tiresias at His Rubber_ + +TRAVELLERS who have left their homes generally grow mournful as the +evening draws on; nor is there, perhaps, any time at which the pensive +influence of twilight is more predominant than on the eve that follows a +separation from those we love. Imagine, then, the feelings of the Queen +of Hell, as her barque entered the very region of that mystic light, +and the shadowy shores of the realm of Twilight opened before her. Her +thoughts reverted to Pluto; and she mused over all his fondness, all his +adoration, and all his indulgence, and the infinite solicitude of his +affectionate heart, until the tears trickled down her beautiful cheeks, +and she marvelled she ever could have quitted the arms of her lover. + +‘Your Majesty,’ observed Manto, who had been whispering to Tiresias, +‘feels, perhaps, a little wearied?’ + +‘By no means, my kind Manto,’ replied Proserpine, starting from her +reverie. ‘But the truth is, my spirits are unequal; and though I +really cannot well fix upon the cause of their present depression, I am +apparently not free from the contagion of the surrounding gloom.’ + +‘It is the evening air,’ said Tiresias. ‘Your Majesty had perhaps better +re-enter the pavilion of the yacht. As for myself, I never venture about +after sunset. One grows romantic. Night was evidently made for in-door +nature. I propose a rubber.’ + +To this popular suggestion Proserpine was pleased to accede, and herself +and Tiresias, Manto and the captain of the yacht, were soon engaged at +the proposed amusement. + +Tiresias loved a rubber. It was true he was blind, but then, being a +prophet, that did not signify. Tiresias, I say, loved a rubber, and +was a first-rate player, though, perhaps, given a little too much to +_finesse_. Indeed, he so much enjoyed taking in his fellow-creatures, +that he sometimes could not resist deceiving his own partner. Whist is +a game which requires no ordinary combination of qualities; at the same +time, memory and invention, a daring fancy, and a cool head. To a mind +like that of Tiresias, a pack of cards was full of human nature. A +rubber was a microcosm; and he ruffed his adversary’s king, or brought +in a long suit of his own with as much dexterity and as much enjoyment +as, in the real business of existence, he dethroned a monarch, or +introduced a dynasty. + +‘Will your Majesty be pleased to draw your card?’ requested the sage. +‘If I might venture to offer your Majesty a hint, I would dare to +recommend your Majesty not to play before your turn. My friends are +fond of ascribing my success in my various missions to the possession of +peculiar qualities. No such thing: I owe everything to the simple habit +of always waiting till it is my turn to speak. And believe me, that he +who plays before his turn at whist, commits as great a blunder as he who +speaks before his turn during a negotiation.’ + +‘The trick, and two by honours,’ said Proserpine. ‘Pray, my dear +Tiresias, you who are such a fine player, how came you to trump my best +card?’ + +‘Because I wanted the lead. And those who want to lead, please your +Majesty, must never hesitate about sacrificing their friends.’ + +‘I believe you speak truly. I was right in playing that thirteenth +card?’ + +‘Quite so. Above all things, I love a thirteenth card. I send it forth, +like a mock project in a revolution, to try the strength of parties.’ + +‘You should not have forced me, Lady Manto,’ said the Captain of the +yacht, in a grumbling tone, to his partner. ‘By weakening me, you +prevented me bringing in my spades. We might have made the game.’ + +‘You should not have been forced,’ said Tiresias. ‘If she made a +mistake, who was unacquainted with your plans, what a terrible blunder +you committed to share her error without her ignorance!’ + +‘What, then, was I to lose a trick?’ + +‘Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity,’ replied Tiresias, ‘the +most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage.’ + +‘I have cut you an honour, sir,’ said Manto. + +‘Which reminds me,’ replied Tiresias, ‘that, in the last hand, your +Majesty unfortunately forgot to lead through your adversary’s ace. I +have often observed that nothing ever perplexes an adversary so much as +an appeal to his honour.’ + +‘I will not forget to follow your advice,’ said the Captain of the +yacht, playing accordingly. + +‘By which you have lost the game,’ quietly remarked Tiresias. ‘There are +exceptions to all rules, but it seldom answers to follow the advice of +an opponent.’ + +‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Captain of the yacht. + +‘Four by honours, and the trick, I declare,’ said Proserpine. ‘I was so +glad to see you turn up the queen, Tiresias.’ + +‘I also, madam. Without doubt there are few cards better than her royal +consort, or, still more, the imperial ace. Nevertheless, I must confess, +I am perfectly satisfied whenever I remember that I have the Queen on my +side.’ + +Proserpine bowed. + +‘I have a good mind to do it, Tiresias,’ said Queen Proserpine, as that +worthy sage paid his compliments to her at her toilet, at an hour which +should have been noon. + +‘It would be a great compliment,’ said Tiresias. + +‘And it is not much out of our way?’ + +‘By no means,’ replied the seer. ‘‘Tis an agreeable half-way house. He +lives in good style.’ + +‘And whence can a dethroned monarch gain a revenue?’ inquired the Queen. + +‘Your Majesty, I see, is not at all learned in politics. A sovereign +never knows what an easy income is till he has abdicated. He generally +commences squabbling with his subjects about the supplies; he is then +expelled, and voted, as compensation, an amount about double the sum +which was the cause of the original quarrel.’ + +‘What do you think, Manto?’ said Proserpine, as that lady entered the +cabin; ‘we propose paying a visit to Saturn. He has fixed his residence, +you know, in these regions of twilight.’ + +‘I love a junket,’ replied Manto, ‘above all things. And, indeed, I was +half frightened out of my wits at the bare idea of toiling over this +desert. All is prepared, please your Majesty, for our landing. Your +Majesty’s litter is quite ready.’ + +‘‘Tis well,’ said Proserpine; and leaning on the arm of Manto, the Queen +came upon deck, and surveyed the surrounding country, a vast grey flat, +with a cloudless sky of the same tint: in the distance some lowering +shadows, which seemed like clouds but were in fact mountains. + +‘Some half-dozen hours,’ said Tiresias, ‘will bring us to the palace +of Saturn. We shall arrive for dinner; the right hour. Let me recommend +your Majesty to order the curtains of your litter to be drawn, and, if +possible, to resume your dreams.’ + +‘They were not pleasant,’ said Proserpine, ‘I dreamt of my mother and +the Parcae. Manto, methinks I’ll read. Hast thou some book?’ + +‘Here is a poem, Madam, but I fear it may induce those very slumbers you +dread.’ + +‘How call you it?’ + +‘“The Pleasures of Oblivion.” The poet apparently is fond of his +subject.’ + +‘And is, I have no doubt, equal to it. Hast any prose?’ + +‘An historical novel or so.’ + +‘Oh! if you mean those things as full of costume as a fancy ball, and +almost as devoid of sense, I’ll have none of them. Close the curtains; +even visions of the Furies are preferable to these insipidities.’ + +The halt of the litter roused the Queen from her slumbers. ‘We have +arrived,’ said Manto, as she assisted in withdrawing the curtains. + +The train had halted before a vast propylon of rose-coloured granite. +The gate was nearly two hundred feet in height, and the sides of the +propylon, which rose like huge moles, were sculptured with colossal +figures of a threatening aspect. Passing through the propylon, the +Queen of Hell and her attendants entered an avenue in length about +three-quarters of a mile, formed of colossal figures of the same +character and substance, alternately raising in their arms javelins or +battle-axes, as if about to strike. At the end of this heroic avenue +appeared the palace of Saturn. Ascending a hundred steps of black +marble, you stood before a portico supported by twenty columns of the +same material and shading a single portal of bronze. Apparently the +palace formed an immense quadrangle; a vast tower rising from each +corner, and springing from the centre a huge and hooded dome. A crowd of +attendants, in grey and sad-coloured raiment, issued from the portal +of the palace at the approach of Proserpine, who remarked with strange +surprise their singular countenances and demeanour; for rare in this +silent assemblage was any visage resembling aught she had seen, human +or divine. Some bore the heads of bats; of owls and beetles others; +some fluttered moth-like wings, while the shoulders of other bipeds were +surmounted, in spite of their human organisation, with the heads of rats +and weasels, of marten-cats and of foxes. But they were all remarkably +civil; and Proserpine, who was now used to wonders, did not shriek at +all, and scarcely shuddered. + +The Queen of Hell was ushered through a superb hall, and down a splendid +gallery, to a suite of apartments where a body of damsels of a most +distinguished appearance awaited her. Their heads resembled those of the +most eagerly-sought, highly-prized, and oftenest-stolen lap-dogs. +Upon the shoulders of one was the visage of the smallest and most +thorough-bred little Blenheim in the world. Upon her front was a white +star, her nose was nearly flat, and her ears were tied under her chin, +with the most jaunty air imaginable. She was an evident flirt; and a +solemn prude of a spaniel, with a black and tan countenance, who seemed +a sort of duenna, evidently watched her with no little distrust. The +admirers of blonde beauties would, however, have fallen in love with +a poodle, with the finest head of hair imaginable, and most voluptuous +shoulders. This brilliant band began barking in the most insinuating +tone on the appearance of the Queen; and Manto, who was almost as +dexterous a linguist as Tiresias himself, informed her Majesty that +these were the ladies of her bed-chamber; upon which Proserpine, who, it +will be remembered had no passion for dogs, ordered them immediately out +of her room. + +‘What a droll place!’ exclaimed the Queen. ‘Do you know, we are later +than I imagined? A hasty toilet to-day; I long to see Saturn. It is +droll, I am hungry. My purple velvet, I think; it may be considered a +compliment. No diamonds, only jet; a pearl or two, perhaps. Didst ever +see the King? + +They say he is gentlemanlike, though a bigot. No! no rouge to-day; this +paleness is quite _apropos_. Were I as radiant as usual, I should be +taken for Aurora.’ + +So leaning on Manto, and preceded by the ladies of her bed-chamber, +whom, notwithstanding their repulse, she found in due attendance in the +antechamber, Proserpine again continued her progress down the gallery, +until they stopped at a door, which opening, she was ushered into the +grand circular saloon, crowned by the dome, whose exterior the Queen had +already observed. The interior of this apartment was entirely of black +and grey marble, with the exception of the dome itself, which was of +ebony, richly carved and supported by more than a hundred columns. There +depended from the centre of the arch a single chandelier of frosted +silver, which was itself as big as an ordinary chamber, but of the +most elegant form, and delicate and fantastic workmanship. As the Queen +entered the saloon, a personage of venerable appearance, dressed in a +suit of black velvet, and leaning on an ivory cane, advanced to salute +her. There was no mistaking this personage; his manners were at once so +courteous and so dignified. He was clearly their host; and Proserpine, +who was quite charmed with his grey locks and his black velvet cap, his +truly paternal air, and the beneficence of his unstudied smile, could +scarcely refrain from bending her knee, and pressing her lips to his +extended hand. + +‘I am proud that your Majesty has remembered me in my retirement,’ said +Saturn, as he led Proserpine to a seat. + +Their mutual compliments were soon disturbed by the announcement +of dinner, and Saturn offering his arm to the Queen with an air of +politeness which belonged to the old school, but which the ladies admire +in old men, handed Proserpine to the banqueting-room. They were followed +by some of the principal personages of her Majesty’s suite, and a couple +of young Titans, who enjoyed the posts of aides-de-camp to the ex-King, +and whose duties consisted of carving at dinner. + +It was a most agreeable dinner, and Proserpine was delighted with +Saturn, who, of course, sat by her side, and paid her every possible +attention. Saturn, whose manners, as has been observed, were of the old +school, loved a good story, and told several. His anecdotes, especially +of society previous to the Trojan war, were highly interesting. There +ran through all his behaviour, too, a tone of high breeding and of +consideration for others which was really charming; and Proserpine, who +had expected to find in her host a gloomy bigot, was quite surprised +at the truly liberal spirit with which he seemed to consider affairs in +general. Indeed this unexpected tone made so great an impression upon +her, that finding a good opportunity after dinner, when they were +sipping their coffee apart from the rest of the company, she could not +refrain from entering into some conversation with the ex-King upon the +subject, and the conversation ran thus: + +‘Do you know,’ said Proserpine, ‘that much as I have been pleased +and surprised during my visit to the realms of twilight, nothing has +pleased, and I am sure nothing has surprised me more, than to observe +the remarkably liberal spirit in which your Majesty views the affairs of +the day.’ + +‘You give me a title, beautiful Proserpine, to which I have no claim,’ +replied Saturn. ‘You forget that I am now only Count Hesperus; I am no +longer a king, and believe me, I am very glad of it.’ + +‘What a pity, my dear sir, that you would not condescend to conform to +the spirit of the age. For myself, I am quite a reformer.’ + +‘So I have understood, beautiful Proserpine, which I confess has a +little surprised me; for to tell you the truth, I do not consider that +reform is exactly _our_ trade.’ + +‘Affairs cannot go on as they used,’ observed Proserpine, oracularly; +‘we must bow to the spirit of the age.’ + +‘And what is that?’ inquired Saturn. + +‘I do not exactly know,’ replied Proserpine, ‘but one hears of it +everywhere.’ + +‘I also heard of it a great deal,’ replied Saturn, ‘and was also +recommended to conform to it. Before doing so, however, I thought it as +well to ascertain its nature, and something also of its strength.’ + +‘It is terribly strong,’ observed Proserpine. + +‘But you think it will be stronger?’ inquired the ex-King. + +‘Certainly; every day it is more powerful.’ + +‘Then if, on consideration, we were to deem resistance to it advisable, +it is surely better to commence the contest at once than to postpone the +struggle.’ + +‘It is useless to talk of resisting; one must conform.’ + +‘I certainly should consider resistance useless,’ replied Saturn, ‘for I +tried it and failed; but at least one has a chance of success; and yet, +having resisted this spirit and failed, I should not consider myself +in a worse plight than you would voluntarily place yourself in by +conforming to it.’ + +‘You speak riddles,’ said Proserpine. + +‘To be plain, then,’ replied Saturn, ‘I think you may as well at once +give up your throne, as conform to this spirit.’ + +‘And why so?’ inquired Proserpine very ingenuously.’ + +‘Because,’ replied Saturn, shrugging up his shoulders, ‘I look upon the +spirit of the age as a spirit hostile to Kings and gods.’ + +The next morning Saturn himself attended his beautiful guest over his +residence, which Proserpine greatly admired. + +‘‘Tis the work of the Titans,’ replied the ex-King. ‘There never was a +party so fond of building palaces.’ + +‘To speak the truth,’ said Proserpine, ‘I am a little disappointed that +I have not had an opportunity, during my visit, of becoming acquainted +with some of the chiefs of that celebrated party; for, although a +Liberal, I am a female one, and I like to know every sort of person who +is distinguished.’ + +‘The fact is,’ replied her host, ‘that the party has never recovered +from the thunderbolt of that scheming knave Jupiter, and do not bear +their defeat so philosophically as years, perhaps, permit me to do. If +we have been vanquished by the spirit of the age,’ continued Saturn, +‘you must confess that, in our case, the conqueror did not assume a +material form very remarkable for its dignity. Had Creation resolved +itself into its original elements, had Chaos come again, or even old +Coelus, the indignity might have been endured; but to be baffled by +an Olympian _juste milieu_, and to find, after all the clamour, that +nothing has been changed save the places, is, you will own, somewhat +mortifying.’ + +‘But how do you reconcile,’ inquired the ingenuous Proserpine, ‘the +success of Jupiter with the character which you ascribed last night to +the spirit of the age?’ + +‘Why, in truth,’ said Saturn, ‘had I not entirely freed myself from all +party feeling, I might adduce the success of my perfidious and worthless +relative as very good demonstration that the spirit of the age +is nothing better than an _ignis fatuus_. Nevertheless, we must +discriminate. Even the success of Jupiter, although he now conducts +himself in direct opposition to the emancipating principles he at +first professed, is no less good evidence of their force; for by his +professions he rose. And, for my part, I consider it a great homage to +public opinion to find every scoundrel now-a-days professing himself a +Liberal.’ + +‘You are candid;’ said Proserpine. ‘I should like very much to see the +Titans.’ + +‘My friends are at least consistent,’ observed Saturn; ‘though certainly +at present I can say little more for them. Between the despair of one +section of the party, and the over-sanguine expectations of the other, +they are at present quite inactive, or move only to ensure fresh +rebuffs.’ + +‘You see little of them, then?’ + +‘They keep to themselves: they generally frequent a lonely vale in the +neighbourhood.’ + +‘I should so like to see them!’ exclaimed Proserpine. + +‘Say nothing to Tiresias,’ said old Saturn, who was half in love with +his fair friend, ‘and we will steal upon them unperceived.’ So saying, +the god struck the earth with his cane, and there instantly sprang forth +a convenient car, built of curiously carved cedar, and borne by four +enormous tawny-coloured owls. Seating himself by the side of the +delighted Proserpine, Saturn commanded the owls to bear them to the +Valley of Lamentations. + +‘Twas an easy fly: the chariot soon descended upon the crest of a hill: +and Saturn and Proserpine, leaving the car, commenced, by a winding +path, the slight ascent of a superior elevation. Having arrived there, +they looked down upon a valley, apparently land-locked by black and +barren mountains of the most strange, although picturesque forms. In the +centre of the valley was a black pool or tarn, bordered with dark purple +flags of an immense size, twining and twisting among which might be +observed the glancing and gliding folds of several white serpents; while +crocodiles and alligators, and other horrible forms, poked their foul +snouts with evident delight in a vast mass of black slime, which had, +at various times, exuded from the lake. A single tree only was to be +observed in this desolate place, an enormous and blasted cedar, with +scarcely a patch of verdure, but extending its black and barren branches +nearly across the valley. Seated on a loosened crag, but leaning against +the trunk of the cedar, with his arms folded, his mighty eyes fixed on +the ground, and his legs crossed with that air of complete repose which +indicates that their owner is in no hurry again to move them, was + + ‘A form, some granite god we deemed, + Or king of palmy Nile, colossal shapes + Such as Syene’s rosy quarries yield + To Memphian art; Horus, Osiris called, + Or Amenoph, who, on the Theban plain, + With magic melody the sun salutes; + Or he, far mightier, to whose conquering car + Monarchs were yoked, Rameses: by the Greeks + Sesostris styled. And yet no sculptor’s art + Moulded this shape, for form it seemed of flesh, + Yet motionless; its dim unlustrous orbs + Gazing in stilly vacancy, its cheek + Grey as its hairs, which, thin as they might seem, + No breath disturbed; a solemn countenance, + Not sorrowful, though full of woe sublime, + As if despair were now a distant dream + Too dim for memory.’ + +‘‘Tis their great leader,’ said Saturn, as he pointed out the Titan to +Proserpine, ‘the giant Enceladus. He got us into all our scrapes, but I +must do him the justice to add, that he is the only one who can ever get +us out of them. They say he has no heart; but I think his hook nose is +rather fine.’ + +‘Superb!’ said Proserpine. ‘And who is that radiant and golden-haired +youth who is seated at his feet?’ + +‘‘Tis no less a personage than Hyperion himself,’ replied Saturn, ‘the +favourite counsellor of Enceladus. He is a fine orator, and makes up by +his round sentences and choice phrases for the rhetorical deficiencies +of his chief, who, to speak the truth, is somewhat curt and husky. They +have enough now to do to manage their comrades and keep a semblance of +discipline in their routed ranks. Mark that ferocious Briareus there +scowling in a corner! Didst ever see such a moustache! He glances, +methinks, with an evil eye on the mighty Enceladus; and, let me tell +you, Briareus has a great following among them; so they say of him you +know, that he hath fifty heads and a hundred arms. See! how they gather +around him.’ + +‘Who speaks now to Briareus?’ ‘The young and valiant Mimas. Be assured +he is counselling war. We shall have a debate now.’ + +‘Yon venerable personage, who is seated by the margin of the pool, and +weeping with the crocodiles------’ + +‘Is old Oceanus.’ + +‘He is apparently much affected by his overthrow.’ ‘It is his wont to +weep. He used to cry when he fought, and yet he was a powerful warrior.’ +‘Hark!’ said Proserpine. + +The awful voice of Briareus broke the silence. What a terrible personage +was Briareus! His wild locks hung loose about his shoulders, and blended +with his unshorn beard. + +‘Titans!’ shouted the voice which made many a heart tremble, and the +breathless Proserpine clasp the arm of Saturn. ‘Titans! Is that spirit +dead that once heaped Ossa upon Pelion? Is it forgotten, even by +ourselves, that a younger born revels in our heritage? Are these forms +that surround me, indeed, the shapes at whose dread sight the base +Olympians fled to their fitting earth? Warriors, whose weapons were the +rocks, whose firebrands were the burning woods, is the day forgotten +when Jove himself turned craven, and skulked in Egypt? At least my +memory is keen enough to support my courage, and whatever the dread +Enceladus may counsel, my voice is still for war!’ + +There ensued, after this harangue of Briareus, a profound and thrilling +silence, which was, however, broken in due time by the great leader of +the Titans himself. + +‘You mouth it well, Briareus,’ replied Enceladus calmly. ‘And if great +words would re-seat us in Olympus, doubtless, with your potent aid, +we might succeed. It never should be forgotten, however, that had we +combined at first, in the spirit now recommended, the Olympians would +never have triumphed; and least of all our party should Briareus and his +friends forget the reasons of our disunion.’ + +‘I take thy sneer, Enceladus,’ said the young and chivalric Mimas, ‘and +throw it in thy teeth. This learn, then, from Briareus and his friends, +that if we were lukewarm in the hour of peril, the fault lies not to +our account, but with those who had previously so conducted themselves, +that, when the danger arrived, it was impossible for us to distinguish +between our friends and our foes. Enceladus apparently forgets that had +the Olympians never been permitted to enter Heaven, it would have been +unnecessary ever to have combined against their machinations.’ + +‘Recrimination is useless,’ said a Titan, interposing. ‘I was one of +those who supported Enceladus in the admission of the Olympians above, +and I regret it. But at the time, like others, I believed it to be the +only mode of silencing the agitation of Jupiter.’ + +‘I separated from Enceladus on that question,’ said a huge Titan, lying +his length on the ground and leaning one arm on a granite crag; ‘but +I am willing to forget all our differences and support him with all +my heart and strength in another effort to restore our glorious +constitution.’ + +‘Titans,’ said Enceladus, ‘who is there among you who has found me a +laggard in the day of battle?’ + +When the Olympians, as Briareus thinks it necessary to remind you, +fled, I was your leader. Remember, however, then, that there were no +thunderbolts. As for myself, I candidly confess to you, that, since the +invention of these weapons by Jove, I do not see how war can be carried +on by us any longer with effect.’ + +‘By the memory of old Coelus and these fast-flowing tears,’ murmured the +venerable Oceanus, patting at the same time a crocodile on the back, +‘I call you all to witness that I have no interest to deceive you. +Nevertheless, we should not forget that, in this affair of the +thunderbolts, it is the universal opinion that there is a very +considerable reaction. I have myself, only within these few days, +received authentic information that several have fallen of late without +any visible ill effects; and I am credibly assured that, during the late +storm in Thessaly, a thunderbolt was precipitated into the centre of a +vineyard, without affecting the flavour of a single grape.’ + +Here several of the Titans, who had gathered round Enceladus, shook +their heads and shrugged their shoulders, and a long and desultory +conversation ensued upon the copious and very controversial subject of +Re-action. In the meantime Rhoetus, a young Titan, whispered to one of +his companions, that for his part he was convinced that the only way +to beat the Olympians was to turn them into ridicule; and that he would +accordingly commence at once with the pasquinade on the private life of +Jupiter, and some peculiarly delicate criticisms on the characters of +the goddesses. + + + + +PART IV. + + _Containing the First View of Elysium_ + +THE toilsome desert was at length passed, and the royal cavalcade +ascended the last chasm of mountains that divided Elysium, or the +Regions of Bliss, from the Realm of Twilight. As she quitted those +dim and dreary plains, the spirit of Proserpine grew lighter, and she +indulged in silent but agreeable anticipations of the scene which she +was now approaching. On reaching, however, the summit of the mountainous +chain, and proceeding a short distance over the rugged table-land into +which it now declined, her Majesty was rather alarmed at perceiving that +her progress was impeded by a shower of flame that extended, on either +side, as far as the eye could reach. Her alarm, however, was of short +continuance; for, on the production of his talisman by Tiresias, the +shower of flame instantly changed into silvery drops of rose-water and +other delicious perfumes. Amid joyous peals of laughter, and some +slight playful screams on the part of the ladies, the cavalcade ventured +through the ordeal. Now the effect of this magical bath was quite +marvellous. A burthen seemed suddenly to have been removed from the +spirits of the whole party; their very existence seemed renewed; the +blood danced about their veins in the liveliest manner imaginable; and +a wild but pleasing titillation ran like lightning through their nerves, +their countenances sparkled with excitement; and they all talked at the +same time. Proserpine was so occupied with her own sensations, that she +did not immediately remark the extraordinary change that had occurred +in the appearance of the country immediately on passing this magical +barrier. She perceived that their course now led over the most elastic +and carefully-shaven turf; groups of beautiful shrubs occasionally +appeared, and she discovered with delight that their flowers constantly +opened, and sent forth from their bells diminutive birds of radiant +plumage. Above them, too, the clouds vanished, and her head was canopied +by a sky, unlike, indeed, all things and tints of earth, but which +reminded her, in some degree, of the splendour of Olympus. + +Proserpine, restless with delight, quitted her litter, and followed by +Manto, ran forward to catch the first view of Elysium. + +‘I am quite out of breath,’ said her Majesty, ‘and really must sit down +on this bank of violets. Was ever anything in the world so delightful? +Why, Olympus is nothing to it! And after Tartarus, too, and that poor +unhappy Saturn, and his Titans and his twilight, it really is too much +for me. How I do long for the view! and yet, somehow or other, my heart +beats so I cannot walk.’ + +‘Will your Majesty re-ascend your litter?’ suggested Manto. + +‘Oh, no! that is worse than anything. They are a mile behind; they are +so slow. Why, Manto! what is this?’ + +A beautiful white dove hovered in the air over the head of Proserpine +and her attendant, and then dropping an olive branch into the lap of the +Queen, flapped its wings and whirled away. But what an olive branch! +the stem was of agate; each leaf was an emerald; and on the largest, in +letters of brilliants, was this inscription: + + _The Elysians to Their Beautiful Queen_ + +‘Oh, is it not superb?’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘What charming people, +and what excellent subjects! What loyalty and what taste!’ + +So saying, the enraptured Proserpine rose from the bank of violets, and +had scarcely run forwards fifty yards when she suddenly stopped, and +started with an exclamation of wonder. The table-land had ceased. She +stood upon a precipice of white marble, in many parts clothed with +thick bowers of myrtle; before her extended the wide-spreading plains of +Elysium. They were bounded upon all sides by gentle elevations entirely +covered with flowers, and occasionally shooting forward into the +champaign country; behind these appeared a range of mountains clothed +with bright green forests, and still loftier heights behind them, +exhibiting, indeed, only bare and sharply-pointed peaks glittering with +prismatic light. The undulating plain was studded in all directions with +pavilions and pleasure-houses, and groves and gardens glowing with the +choicest and most charming fruit; and a broad blue river wound through +it, covered with brilliant boats, the waters flashing with phosphoric +light as they were cut by the swift and gliding keels. And in the centre +of the plain rose a city, a mighty group of all that was beautiful in +form and costly in materials, bridges and palaces and triumphal gates of +cedar and of marble, columns and minarets of gold, and cupolas and domes +of ivory; and ever and anon appeared delicious gardens, raised on the +terraces of the houses; and groups of palm trees with their tall, thin +stems, and quivering and languid crests, rose amid the splendid masonry. +A sweet soft breeze touched the cheek of the entranced Proserpine, and a +single star of silver light glittered in the rosy sky. + +‘‘Tis my favourite hour,’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘Thus have I gazed upon +Hesperus in the meads of Enna! What a scene! How fortunate that we +should have arrived at sunset!’ + +‘Ah, Madam!’ observed Manto, ‘in Elysium the sky is ever thus. For the +Elysians, the sun seems always to have just set!’ + +‘Fortunate people!’ replied Proserpine. ‘In them, immortality and +enjoyment seem indeed blended together. A strange feeling, half of +languor, half of voluptuousness, steals over my senses! It seems that +I at length behold the region of my girlish dreams. Such once I fancied +Olympus. Ah! why does not my Pluto live in Elysium?’ + +The Elysians consisted of a few thousand beatified mortals, the only +occupation of whose existence was enjoyment; the rest of the population +comprised some millions of Gnomes and Sylphs, who did nothing but work, +and ensured by their labour the felicity of the superior class. Every +Elysian, male or female, possessed a magnificent palace in the city, +and an elegant pavilion on the plain; these, with a due proportion of +chariots, horses, and slaves, constituted a proper establishment. The +Sylphs and the Gnomes were either scattered about the country, which +they cultivated, or lived in the city, where they kept shops, and where +they emulated each other in displaying the most ingenious articles +of luxury and convenience for the enjoyment and accommodation of the +Elysians. The townspeople, indeed, rather affected to look down upon +the more simple-minded agriculturists; but if these occasionally felt a +little mortification in consequence, they might have been consoled, had +they been aware that their brethren and sisters who were in the service +of the Elysians avenged their insults, for these latter were the finest +Gnomes and Sylphs imaginable, and scarcely deigned to notice any one who +was in trade. Whether there were any coin or other circulating medium +current in Elysium is a point respecting which I must confess I have not +sufficient information to decide; but if so, it certainly would appear +that all money transactions were confined to the Gnomes and the Sylphs, +for the Elysians certainly never paid for anything. Perhaps this +exemption might have been among their peculiar privileges, and was a +substitute for what we call credit, a convenience of which the ancients +appear to have had a limited conception. The invention, by Jupiter, of +an aristocratic immortality, as a reward for a well-spent life on earth, +appears to have been an ingenious idea. It really is a reward, very +stimulative of good conduct before we shuffle off the mortal coil, and +remarkably contrasts with the democracy of the damned. The Elysians, +with a splendid climate, a teeming soil, and a nation made on purpose +to wait upon them, of course enjoyed themselves very much. The arts +flourished, the theatres paid, and they had a much finer opera than at +Ephesus or at Halicarnassus. Their cookery was so refined, that one of +the least sentimental ceremonies in the world was not only deprived of +all its grossness, but was actually converted into an elegant amusement, +and so famous that their artists were even required at Olympus. If their +dinners were admirable, which is rare, their assemblies were amusing, +which is still more uncommon. All the arts of society were carried to +perfection in Elysium; a dull thing was never said, and an awkward thing +never done. The Elysians, indeed, being highly refined and gifted, for +they comprised in their order the very cream of terrestrial society, +were naturally a liberal-minded race of nobles, and capable of +appreciating every kind of excellence. If a Gnome or a Sylph, therefore, +in any way distinguished themselves; if they sang very well, or acted +very well, or if they were at all eminent for any of the other arts of +amusement, ay! indeed if the poor devils could do nothing better than +write a poem or a novel, they were sure to be noticed by the Elysians, +who always bowed to them as they passed by, and sometimes indeed even +admitted them into their circles. + +Scarcely had the train of Proserpine rejoined her on the brink of the +precipice, than they heard the flourish of trumpets near at hand, soon +followed by a complete harmony of many instruments. A chorus of sweet +voices was next distinguished, growing each instant more loud and clear; +and in a few minutes, issuing from a neighbouring grove, came forth +a band of heroes and beautiful women, dressed in dazzling raiment, +to greet the Queen. A troop of chariots of light and airy workmanship +followed, and a crowd of Gnomes and Sylphs singing and playing on +various instruments, and dancing with gestures of grace and delicacy. +Congratulating the Queen on her arrival in Elysium, and requesting the +honour of being permitted to attend her to her palace, they ushered +Proserpine and her companions to the chariots, and soon, winding down a +gradual declivity, they entered the plain. + +If a bird’s-eye view of the capital had enchanted Proserpine, the +agreeable impression was not diminished, as is generally the case, by +her entrance into the city. Never were so much splendour and neatness +before combined. Passing through a magnificent arch, Proserpine entered +a street of vast and beautiful proportions, lined on each side with +palaces of various architecture, painted admirably in fresco, and richly +gilt. The road was formed of pounded marbles of various colours, laid +down in fanciful patterns, and forming an unrivalled mosaic; it was +bounded on each side by a broad causeway of jasper, of a remarkably +bright green, clouded with milk-white streaks. This street led to a +sumptuous square, forming alone the palace destined for Proserpine. +Its several fronts were supported and adorned by ten thousand columns, +imitating the palm and the lotus; nor is it possible to conceive +anything more light and graceful than the general effect of this +stupendous building. Each front was crowned with an immense dome of +alabaster, so transparent, that when the palace was illuminated the rosy +heaven grew pale, and an effect similar to moonlight was diffused over +the canopy of Elysium. And in the centre of the square a Leviathan, +carved in white coral, and apparently flouncing in a huge basin of rock +crystal, spouted forth from his gills a fountain twelve hundred feet in +height; from one gill ascended a stream of delicious wine, which might +be tempered, if necessary, by the iced water that issued from the other. + +At the approach of the Queen, the gigantic gates of the palace, +framed of carved cedar, flew open with a thrilling burst of music, and +Proserpine found herself in a hall wherein several hundred persons, who +formed her household, knelt in stillness before her. Wearied with her +long journey, and all the excitement of the day, Proserpine signified to +one of the Elysians in attendance her desire for refreshment and +repose. Immediately the household rose, and gracefully bowing retired in +silence, while four ladies of the bed-chamber, very different from the +dogfaced damsels of the realm of Twilight, advanced with a gracious +smile, and each pressing a white hand to her heart, invited her Majesty +to accompany them. Twelve beautiful pages in fanciful costume, and each +bearing a torch of cinnamon, preceded them, and Proserpine ascended +a staircase of turquoise and silver. As she passed along, she caught +glimpses of costly galleries, and suites of gorgeous chambers, but she +was almost too fatigued to distinguish anything. A confused vision of +long lines of white columns, roofs of carved cedar, or ceilings glowing +with forms of exquisite beauty, walls covered with lifelike tapestry, +or reflecting in their mighty mirrors her own hurrying figure, and her +picturesque attendants, alone remained. She rejoiced when she at length +arrived in a small chamber, in which preparations evidently denoted +that it was intended she should rest. It was a pretty little saloon, +brilliantly illuminated, and hung with tapestry depicting a party of +nymphs and shepherds feasting in an Arcadian scene. In the middle of the +chamber a banquet was prepared, and as Proserpine seated herself, and +partook of some of the delicacies which a page immediately presented to +her, there arose, from invisible musicians, a joyous and festive strain, +which accompanied her throughout her repast. When her Majesty had +sufficiently refreshed herself, and as the banquet was removing, the +music assumed a softer and more subduing, occasionally even a solemn +tone; the tapestry, slowly shifting, at length represented the same +characters sunk in repose; the attendants all this time gradually +extinguishing the lights, and stealing on tiptoe from the chamber. So +that, at last, the music, each moment growing fainter, entirely ceased; +the figures on the tapestry were scarcely perceptible by the dim lustre +of a single remaining lamp; and the slumbering Proserpine fell back upon +her couch. + +But the Queen of Hell was not destined to undisturbed repose. A dream +descended on her brain, and the dream was terrible and strange. She +beheld herself a child, playing, as was her wont, in the gardens of +Enna, twining garlands of roses, and chasing butterflies. Suddenly, from +a bosky thicket of myrtle, slowly issued forth an immense serpent, dark +as night, but with eyes of the most brilliant tint, and approached the +daughter of Ceres. The innocent child, ignorant of evil, beheld the +monster without alarm. Not only did she neither fly nor shriek, but she +even welcomed and caressed the frightful stranger, patted its voluminous +back, and admired its sparkling vision. The serpent, fascinated instead +of fascinating, licked her feet with his arrowy tongue, and glided about +for her diversion in a thousand shapes. Emboldened by its gentleness, +the little Proserpine at length even mounted on its back, and rode in +triumph among her bowers. Every day the dark serpent issued from the +thicket, and every day he found a welcome playmate. Now it come to +pass that one day the serpent, growing more bold, induced the young +Proserpine to extend her ride beyond the limits of Enna. Night came on, +and as it was too late to return, the serpent carried her to a large +cave, where it made for her a couch of leaves, and while she slept the +affectionate monster kept guard for her protection at the mouth of the +cavern. For some reason or other which was not apparent, for in dreams +there are always some effects without causes, Proserpine never returned +to Enna, but remained and resided with cheerfulness in this cavern. Each +morning the serpent went forth alone to seek food for its charge, +and regularly returned with a bough in its mouth laden with delicious +fruits. One day, during the absence of her guardian, a desire seized +Proserpine to quit the cavern, and accordingly she went forth. The fresh +air and fragrance of the earth were delightful to her, and she roamed +about, unconscious of time, and thoughtless of her return. And as she +sauntered along, singing to herself, a beautiful white dove, even +the same dove that had welcomed her in the morning on the heights of +Elysium, flew before her with its wings glancing in the sunshine. It +seemed that the bird wished to attract the attention of the child, so +long and so closely did it hover about her; now resting on a branch, as +if inviting capture, and then skimming away only to return more swiftly; +and occasionally, when for a moment unnoticed, even slightly flapping +the rambler with its plume. At length the child was taken with a fancy +to catch the bird. But no sooner had she evinced this desire, than the +bird, once apparently so anxious to be noticed, seemed resolved to +lead her a weary chase; and hours flew away ere Proserpine, panting and +exhausted, had captured the beautiful rover and pressed it to her bosom. + +It was, indeed, a most beautiful bird, and its possession repaid her +for all her exertions. But lo! as she stood, in a wild sylvan scene +caressing it, smoothing its soft plumage, and pressing its head to her +cheek, she beheld in the distance approaching her the serpent, and +she beheld her old friend with alarm. Apparently her misgiving was +not without cause. She observed in an instant that the appearance and +demeanour of the serpent were greatly changed. It approached her swift +as an arrow, its body rolling in the most agitated contortions, its jaws +were distended as if to devour her, its eyes flashed fire, its tongue +was a forked flame, and its hiss was like a stormy wind. Proserpine +shrieked, and the Queen of Hell awoke from her dream. + +The next morning the Elysian world called to pay their respects to +Proserpine. Her Majesty, indeed, held a drawing-room, which was +fully and brilliantly attended. Her beauty and her graciousness were +universally pronounced enchanting. From this moment the career of +Proserpine was a series of magnificent entertainments. The principal +Elysians vied with each other in the splendour and variety of the +amusements, which they offered to the notice of their Queen. Operas, +plays, balls, and banquets followed in dazzling succession. Proserpine, +who was almost inexperienced in society, was quite fascinated. She +regretted the years she had wasted in her Sicilian solitude; she +marvelled that she ever could have looked forward with delight to a dull +annual visit to Olympus; she almost regretted that, for the sake of an +establishment, she could have been induced to cast her lot in the regal +gloom of Tartarus. Elysium exactly suited her. The beauty of the climate +and the country, the total absence of care, the constant presence of +amusement, the luxury, gaiety, and refined enjoyment perfectly accorded +with her amiable disposition, her lively fancy and her joyous temper. +She drank deep and eagerly of the cup of pleasure. She entered into all +the gay pursuits of her subjects; she even invented new combinations +of diversion. Under her inspiring rule every one confessed that Elysium +became every day more Elysian. The manners of her companions greatly +pleased her. She loved those faces always wreathed with smiles, yet +never bursting into laughter. She was charmed at the amiable tone in +which they addressed each other. Never apparently were people at the +same time so agreeable, so obliging, and so polished. For in all they +said and did might be detected that peculiar air of high-breeding which +pervades the whole conduct of existence with a certain indefinable +spirit of calmness, so that your nerves are never shaken by too intense +an emotion, which eventually produces a painful reaction. Whatever they +did, the Elysians were careful never to be vehement; a grand passion, +indeed, was unknown in these happy regions; love assumed the milder form +of flirtation; and as for enmity, you were never abused except behind +your back, or it exuded itself in an epigram, or, at the worst, a +caricature scribbled upon a fan. + +There is one characteristic of the Elysians which, in justice to them, I +ought not to have omitted. They were eminently a moral people. If a lady +committed herself, she was lost for ever, and packed off immediately to +the realm of Twilight. Indeed, they were so particular, that the moment +one of the softer sex gave the slightest symptoms of preference to +a fortunate admirer, the Elysian world immediately began to look +unutterable things, shrug its moral shoulders, and elevate its +charitable eyebrows. But if the preference, by any unlucky chance, +assumed the nobler aspect of devotion, and the unhappy fair one gave any +indication of really possessing a heart, rest assured she was already +half way on the road to perdition. Then commenced one of the most +curious processes imaginable, peculiar I apprehend to Elysium, but which +I record that the society of less fortunate lands may avail itself of +the advantage, and adopt the regulation in its moral police. Immediately +that it was clearly ascertained that two persons of different sexes took +an irrational interest in each other’s society, all the world instantly +went about, actuated by a purely charitable sentiment, telling the most +extraordinary falsehoods concerning them that they could devise. Thus it +was the fashion to call at one house and announce that you had detected +the unhappy pair in a private box at the theatre, and immediately to pay +your respects at another mansion and declare that you had observed them +on the very same day, and at the very same hour, in a boat on the river. +At the next visit, the gentleman had been discovered driving her in his +cab; and in the course of the morning the scene of indiscretion was the +Park, where they had been watched walking by moonlight, muffled up in +sables and cashmeres. + +This curious process of diffusing information was known in Elysium +under the title of _‘being talked about;_’ and although the stories thus +disseminated were universally understood to be fictions, the Elysians +ascribed great virtue to the proceeding, maintaining that many an +indiscreet fair one had been providentially alarmed by thus becoming the +subject of universal conversation; that thus many a reputation had +been saved by this charitable slander. There were some malignant +philosophers, indeed, doubtless from that silly love of paradox in all +ages too prevalent, who pretended that all this Elysian morality was one +great delusion, and that this scrupulous anxiety about the conduct of +others arose from a principle, not of _Purity_, but of _Corruption_. +The woman who is ‘talked about,’ these sages would affirm, is generally +virtuous, and she is only abused because she devotes to one the charms +which all wish to enjoy. + +Thus Dido, who is really one of the finest creatures that ever existed, +and who with a majestic beauty combines an heroic soul, has made her +way with difficulty to the Elysian circle, to which her charms and +rank entitle her; while Helen, who, from her very _debut_, has +been surrounded by fifty lovers, and whose intrigues have ever been +notorious, is the very queen of fashion; and all this merely because she +has favoured fifty instead of one, and in the midst of all her scrapes +has contrived to retain the countenance of her husband. + +Apropos of Dido, the Queen of Carthage was the person in all Elysium for +whom Proserpine took the greatest liking. Exceedingly beautiful, with +the most generous temper and the softest heart in the world, and blessed +by nature with a graceful simplicity of manner, which fashion had +never sullied, it really was impossible to gaze upon the extraordinary +brilliancy of her radiant countenance, to watch the symmetry of her +superb figure, and to listen to the artless yet lively observations +uttered by a voice musical as a bell, without being fairly bewitched. + +When we first enter society, we are everywhere; yet there are few, I +imagine, who, after a season, do not subside into a coterie. When the +glare of saloons has ceased to dazzle, and we are wearied with the +heartless notice of a crowd, we require refinement and sympathy. We find +them, and we sink into a clique. And after all, can the river of life +flow on more agreeably than in a sweet course of pleasure with those +we love? To wander in the green shade of secret woods and whisper our +affection; to float on the sunny waters of some gentle stream, and +listen to a serenade; to canter with a light-hearted cavalcade over +breezy downs, or cool our panting chargers in the summer stillness of +winding and woody lanes; to banquet with the beautiful and the witty; to +send care to the devil, and indulge the whim of the moment; the priest, +the warrior and the statesman may frown and struggle as they like; but +this is existence, and this, this is Elysium! + +So Proserpine deemed when, wearied with the monotony of the great +world, she sought refuge in the society of Dido and Atalanta, Achilles, +Amphion, and Patroclus or Memnon. When AEneas found that Dido had become +fashionable, he made overtures for a reconciliation, but Dido treated +him with calm contempt. The pious AEneas, indeed, was the aversion of +Proserpine. He was the head of the Elysian saints, was president of a +society to induce the Gnomes only to drink water, and was so horrified +at the general conduct of the Elysians, that he questioned the decrees +of Minos and Rhadamanthus, who had permitted them to enter the happy +region so easily. The pious AEneas was of opinion that everybody ought to +have been damned except himself. Proserpine gave him no encouragement. +Achilles was the finest gentleman in Elysium. No one dressed or rode +like him. He was very handsome, very witty, very unaffected, and had an +excellent heart. Achilles was the leader of the Elysian youth, who were +indeed devoted to him: Proserpine took care, therefore, that he should +dangle in her train. Amphion had a charming voice for a supper after the +opera. He was a handsome little fellow, but not to be depended upon. +He broke a heart, or a dinner engagement, with the same reckless +sentimentality; for he was one of those who always weep when they betray +you, and whom you are sure never to see again immediately that they have +vowed eternal friendship. Patroclus was a copy of Achilles without his +talents and vivacity, but elegant and quiet. Of all these, Memnon was +perhaps the favourite of Proserpine; nor must he be forgotten; amiable, +gay, brilliant, the child of whim and impulse, in love with every woman +he met for four-and-twenty hours, and always marvelling at his own +delusion! + + + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg’s The Infernal Marriage, by Benjamin Disraeli + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE *** + +***** This file should be named 20003-0.txt or 20003-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/0/0/20003/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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