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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Infernal Marriage, by Benjamin Disraeli
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Infernal Marriage
+
+Author: Benjamin Disraeli
+
+Release Date: December 3, 2006 [EBook #20003]
+Last Updated: August 26, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE
+
+By Benjamin Disraeli
+
+_Proserpine was the daughter of Jupiter and Ceres. Pluto, the god
+of Hell, became enamoured of her. His addresses were favoured by her
+father, but opposed by Ceres. Under these circumstances, he surprised
+her on the plains of Enna, and carried her off in his chariot._
+
+
+
+
+THE INFERNAL MARRIAGE
+
+
+
+
+PART I.
+
+     _A Sublime Elopement_
+
+IT WAS clearly a runaway match--never indeed was such a sublime
+elopement. The four horses were coal-black, with blood-red manes and
+tails; and they were shod with rubies. They were harnessed to a basaltic
+car by a single rein of flame. Waving his double-pronged trident in the
+air, the god struck the blue breast of Cyane, and the waters instantly
+parted. In rushed the wild chariot, the pale and insensible Proserpine
+clinging to the breast of her grim lover.
+
+Through the depths of the hitherto unfathomed lake the infernal steeds
+held their breathless course. The car jolted against its bed. ‘Save me!’
+exclaimed the future Queen of Hades, and she clung with renewed energy
+to the bosom of the dark bridegroom. The earth opened; they entered the
+kingdom of the gnomes. Here Pluto was popular. The lurid populace gave
+him a loud shout. The chariot whirled along through shadowy cities and
+by dim highways, swarming with a busy race of shades.
+
+‘Ye flowery meads of Enna!’ exclaimed the terrified Proserpine, ‘shall I
+never view you again? What an execrable climate!’
+
+‘Here, however, in-door nature is charming,’ responded Pluto. ‘Tis a
+great nation of manufacturers. You are better, I hope, my Proserpine.
+The passage of the water is never very agreeable, especially to ladies.’
+
+‘And which is our next stage?’ inquired Proserpine.
+
+‘The centre of Earth,’ replied Pluto. ‘Travelling is so much improved
+that at this rate we shall reach Hades before night.’
+
+‘Alas!’ exclaimed Proserpine, ‘is not this night?’
+
+‘You are not unhappy, my Proserpine?’
+
+‘Beloved of my heart, I have given up everything for you! I do not
+repent, but I am thinking of my mother.’
+
+‘Time will pacify the Lady Ceres. What is done cannot be undone. In the
+winter, when a residence among us is even desirable, I should not be
+surprised were she to pay us a visit.’
+
+‘Her prejudices are so strong,’ murmured the bride. ‘Oh my Pluto! I hope
+your family will be kind to me.’
+
+‘Who could be unkind to Proserpine? Ours is a very domestic circle. I
+can assure you that everything is so well ordered among us that I have
+no recollection of a domestic broil.’
+
+‘But marriage is such a revolution in a bachelor’s establishment,’
+replied Proserpine, despondingly. ‘To tell the truth, too, I am half
+frightened at the thought of the Furies. I have heard that their tempers
+are so violent.’
+
+‘They mean well; their feelings are strong, but their hearts are in the
+right place. I flatter myself you will like my nieces, the Parcae. They
+are accomplished, and favourites among the men.’
+
+‘Indeed!’
+
+‘Oh! quite irresistible.’
+
+‘My heart misgives me. I wish you had at least paid them the compliment
+of apprising them of our marriage.’
+
+‘Cheer up. For myself, I have none but pleasant anticipations. I long
+to be at home once more by my own fireside, and patting my faithful
+Cerberus.’
+
+‘I think I shall like Cerberus; I am fond of dogs.’
+
+‘I am sure you will. He is the most faithful creature in the world.’
+
+‘Is he very fierce?’
+
+‘Not if he takes a fancy to you; and who can help taking a fancy to
+Proserpine?’
+
+‘Ah! my Pluto, you are in love.’
+
+‘Is this Hades?’ inquired Proserpine.
+
+An avenue of colossal bulls, sculptured in basalt and breathing
+living flame, led to gates of brass, adorned with friezes of rubies,
+representing the wars and discomfiture of the Titans. A crimson cloud
+concealed the height of the immense portals, and on either side hovered
+o’er the extending walls of the city; a watch-tower or a battlement
+occasionally flashing forth, and forcing their forms through the lurid
+obscurity.
+
+‘Queen of Hades! welcome to your capital!’ exclaimed Pluto.
+
+The monarch rose in his car and whirled a javelin at the gates. There
+was an awful clang, and then a still more terrible growl.
+
+‘My faithful Cerberus!’ exclaimed the King.
+
+The portals flew open, and revealed the gigantic form of the celebrated
+watch-dog of Hell. It completely filled their wide expanse. Who but
+Pluto could have viewed without horror that enormous body covered with
+shaggy spikes, those frightful paws clothed with claws of steel, that
+tail like a boa constrictor, those fiery eyes that blazed like the
+blood-red lamps in a pharos, and those three forky tongues, round each
+of which were entwined a vigorous family of green rattlesnakes!
+
+‘Ah! Cerby! Cerby!’ exclaimed Pluto; ‘my fond and faithful Cerby!’
+
+Proserpine screamed as the animal gambolled up to the side of the
+chariot and held out its paw to its master. Then, licking the royal palm
+with its three tongues at once, it renewed its station with a wag of its
+tail which raised such a cloud of dust that for a few minutes nothing
+was perceptible.
+
+‘The monster!’ exclaimed Proserpine.
+
+‘My love!’ exclaimed Pluto, with astonishment.
+
+‘The hideous brute!’
+
+‘My dear!’ exclaimed Pluto.
+
+‘He shall never touch me.’
+
+‘Proserpine!’
+
+‘Don’t touch me with that hand. You never shall touch me, if you allow
+that disgusting animal to lick your hand.’
+
+‘I beg to inform you that there are few beings of any kind for whom I
+have a greater esteem than that faithful and affectionate beast.’
+
+‘Oh! if you like Cerberus better than me, I have no more to say,’
+exclaimed the bride, bridling up with indignation.
+
+‘My Proserpine is perverse,’ replied Pluto; ‘her memory has scarcely
+done me justice.’
+
+‘I am sure you said you liked Cerberus better than anything in the
+world,’ continued the goddess, with a voice trembling with passion.
+
+‘I said no such thing,’ replied Pluto, somewhat sternly.
+
+‘I see how it is,’ replied Proserpine, with a sob; ‘you are tired of
+me.’
+
+‘My beloved!’
+
+‘I never expected this.’
+
+‘My child!’
+
+‘Was it for this I left my mother?’
+
+‘Powers of Hades! How you can say such things!’
+
+‘Broke her heart?’
+
+‘Proserpine! Proserpine!’
+
+‘Gave up daylight?’
+
+‘For the sake of Heaven, then, calm yourself!’
+
+‘Sacrificed everything?’
+
+‘My love! my life! my angel! what is all this?’
+
+‘And then to be abused for the sake of a dog!’
+
+‘By all the shades of Hell, but this is enough to provoke even
+immortals. What have I done, said, or thought, to justify such
+treatment?’
+
+‘Oh! me!’
+
+‘Proserpine!’
+
+‘Heigho!’
+
+‘Proserpine! Proserpine!’
+
+‘So soon is the veil withdrawn!’
+
+‘Dearest, you must be unwell. This journey has been too much for you,’
+
+‘On our very bridal day to be so treated!’
+
+‘Soul of my existence, don’t make me mad. I love you, I adore you; I
+have no hope, no wish, no thought but you. I swear it; I swear it by
+my sceptre and my throne. Speak, speak to your Pluto: tell him all your
+wish, all your desire. What would you have me do?’
+
+‘Shoot that horrid beast.’
+
+‘Ah! me!’
+
+‘What, you will not? I thought how it would be. I am Proserpine, your
+beloved, adored Proserpine. You have no wish, no hope, no thought but
+for me! I have only to speak, and what I desire will be instantly done!
+And I do speak, I tell you my wish, I express to you my desire, and I
+am instantly refused! And what have I requested? Is it such a mighty
+favour? Is it anything unreasonable? Is there, indeed, in my entreaty
+anything so vastly out of the way? The death of a dog, a disgusting
+animal, which has already shaken my nerves to pieces; and if ever (here
+she hid her face in his breast), if ever that event should occur which
+both must desire, my Pluto, I am sure the very sight of that horrible
+beast will--I dare not say what it will do.’
+
+Pluto looked puzzled.
+
+‘Indeed, my Proserpine, it is not in my power to grant your request; for
+Cerberus is immortal, like ourselves.’
+
+‘Me! miserable!’
+
+‘Some arrangement, however, may be made to keep him out of your sight
+and hearing. I can banish him.’
+
+‘Can you, indeed? Oh! banish him, my Pluto! pray banish him! I never
+shall be happy until Cerberus is banished.’
+
+‘I will do anything you desire; but I confess to you I have some
+misgivings. He is an invaluable watch-dog; and I fear, without his
+superintendence, the guardians of the gate will scarcely do their duty.’
+
+‘Oh! yes: I am sure they will, my Pluto! I will ask them to, I will ask
+them myself, I will request them, as a particular and personal favour to
+myself, to be very careful indeed. And if they do their duty, and I am
+sure they will, they shall be styled, as a reward, “Proserpine’s Own
+Guards.”’
+
+‘A reward, indeed!’ said the enamoured monarch, as, with a sigh, he
+signed the order for the banishment of Cerberus in the form of his
+promotion to the office of Master of the royal and imperial bloodhounds.
+
+The burning waves of Phlegethon assumed a lighter hue. It was morning.
+It was the morning after the arrival of Pluto and his unexpected bride.
+In one of the principal rooms of the palace three beautiful females,
+clothed in cerulean robes spangled with stars, and their heads adorned
+with golden crowns, were at work together. One held a distaff, from
+which the second spun; and the third wielded an enormous pair of
+adamantine shears, with which she perpetually severed the labours of her
+sisters. Tall were they in stature and beautiful in form. Very fair;
+an expression of haughty serenity pervaded their majestic countenances.
+Their three companions, however, though apparently of the same sex, were
+of a different character. If women can ever be ugly, certainly
+these three ladies might put in a valid claim to that epithet. Their
+complexions were dark and withered, and their eyes, though bright, were
+bloodshot. Scantily clothed in black garments, not unstained with gore,
+their wan and offensive forms were but slightly veiled. Their hands were
+talons; their feet cloven; and serpents were wreathed round their brows
+instead of hair. Their restless and agitated carriage afforded also not
+less striking contrast to the polished and aristocratic demeanour of
+their companions. They paced the chamber with hurried and unequal steps,
+and wild and uncouth gestures; waving, with a reckless ferocity, burning
+torches and whips of scorpions. It is hardly necessary to add that these
+were the Furies, and that the conversation which I am about to report
+was carried on with the Fates.
+
+‘A thousand serpents!’ shrieked Tisiphone. ‘I will never believe it.’
+
+‘Racks and flames!’ squeaked Megaera. ‘It is impossible.’
+
+‘Eternal torture!’ moaned Alecto. ‘‘Tis a lie.’
+
+‘Not Jupiter himself should convince us!’ the Furies joined in infernal
+chorus.
+
+‘‘Tis nevertheless true,’ calmly observed the beautiful Clotho.
+
+‘You will soon have the honour of being presented to her,’ added the
+serene Lachesis.
+
+‘And whatever we may feel,’ observed the considerate Atropos, ‘I think,
+my dear girls, you had better restrain yourselves.’
+
+‘And what sort of thing is she?’ inquired Tisiphone, with a shriek.
+
+‘I have heard that she is lovely,’ answered Clotho. ‘Indeed, it is
+impossible to account for the affair in any other way.’
+
+‘‘Tis neither possible to account for nor to justify it,’ squeaked
+Megaera.
+
+‘Is there, indeed, a Queen in Hell?’ moaned Alecto.
+
+‘We shall hold no more drawing-rooms,’ said Lachesis.
+
+‘We will never attend hers,’ said the Furies.
+
+‘You must,’ replied the Fates.
+
+‘I have no doubt she will give herself airs,’ shrieked Tisiphone.
+
+‘We must remember where she has been brought up, and be considerate,’
+replied Lachesis.
+
+‘I dare say you three will get on very well with her,’ squeaked Megasra.
+‘You always get on well with people.’
+
+‘We must remember how very strange things here must appear to her,’
+observed Atropos.
+
+‘No one can deny that there are some very disagreeable sights,’ said
+Clotho.
+
+‘There is something in that,’ replied Tisiphone, looking in the glass,
+and arranging her serpents; ‘and for my part, poor girl, I almost pity
+her, when I think she will have to visit the Harpies.’
+
+At this moment four little pages entered the room, who, without
+exception, were the most hideous dwarfs that ever attended upon a
+monarch. They were clothed only in parti-coloured tunics, and their
+breasts and legs were quite bare. From the countenance of the first you
+would have supposed he was in a convulsion; his hands were clenched
+and his hair stood on end: this was Terror! The protruded veins of the
+second seemed ready to burst, and his rubicund visage decidedly proved
+that he had blood in his head; this was Rage! The third was of an ashen
+colour throughout: this was Paleness! And the fourth, with a countenance
+not without traces of beauty, was even more disgusting than his
+companions from the quantity of horrible flies, centipedes, snails, and
+other noisome, slimy, and indescribable monstrosities that were crawling
+all about his body and feeding on his decaying features. The name of
+this fourth page was Death!
+
+‘The King and Queen!’ announced the pages.
+
+Pluto, during the night, had prepared Proserpine for the worst, and had
+endeavoured to persuade her that his love would ever compensate for
+all annoyances. She was in excellent spirits and in very good humour;
+therefore, though she could with difficulty stifle a scream when she
+recognised the Furies, she received the congratulations of the Parcae
+with much cordiality.
+
+‘I have the pleasure, Proserpine, of presenting you to my family,’ said
+Pluto.
+
+‘Who, I am sure, hope to make Hades agreeable to your Majesty,’ rejoined
+Clotho. The Furies uttered a suppressed sound between a murmur and a
+growl.
+
+‘I have ordered the chariot,’ said Pluto. ‘I propose to take the Queen a
+ride, and show her some of our lions.’
+
+‘She will, I am sure, be delighted,’ said Lachesis.
+
+‘I long to see Ixion,’ said Proserpine.
+
+‘The wretch!’ shrieked Tisiphone.
+
+‘I cannot help thinking that he has been very unfairly treated,’ said
+Proserpine.
+
+‘What!’ squeaked Megaera. ‘The ravisher!’
+
+‘Ay! it is all very well,’ replied Proserpine; ‘but, for my part, if we
+knew the truth of that affair-----’
+
+‘Is it possible that your Majesty can speak in such a tone of levity of
+such an offender?’ shrieked Tisiphone.
+
+‘Is it possible?’ moaned Alecto.
+
+‘Ah! you have heard only one side of the question; but for my part,
+knowing as much of Juno as I do-----’
+
+‘The Queen of Heaven!’ observed Atropos, with an intimidating glance.
+
+‘The Queen of Fiddlestick!’ said Proserpine; ‘as great a flirt as ever
+existed, with all her prudish looks.’
+
+The Fates and the Furies exchanged glances of astonishment and horror.
+
+‘For my part,’ continued Proserpine, ‘I make it a rule to support the
+weaker side, and nothing will ever persuade me that Ixion is not a
+victim, and a pitiable one.’
+
+‘Well! men generally have the best of it in these affairs,’ said
+Lachesis, with a forced smile.
+
+‘Juno ought to be ashamed of herself,’ said Proserpine. ‘Had I been in
+her situation, they should have tied me to a wheel first. At any rate,
+they ought to have punished him in Heaven. I have no idea of those
+people sending every _mauvais sujet_ to Hell.’
+
+‘But what shall we do?’ inquired Pluto, who wished to turn the
+conversation.
+
+‘Shall we turn out a sinner and hunt him for her Majesty’s diversion?’
+suggested Tisiphone, flanking her serpents.
+
+‘Nothing of the kind will ever divert me,’ said Proserpine; ‘for I have
+no hesitation in saying that I do not at all approve of these eternal
+punishments, or, indeed, of any punishment whatever.’
+
+‘The heretic!’ whispered Tisiphone to Megaera. Alecto moaned.
+
+‘It might be more interesting to her Majesty,’ said Atropos, ‘to witness
+some of those extraordinary instances of predestined misery with which
+Hades abounds. Shall we visit OEdipus?’
+
+‘Poor fellow!’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘For myself, I willingly confess
+that torture disgusts and Destiny puzzles me.’
+
+The Fates and the Furies all alike started.
+
+‘I do not understand this riddle of Destiny,’ continued the young Queen.
+‘If you, Parcae, have predestined that a man should commit a crime,
+it appears to me very unjust that you should afterwards call upon the
+Furies to punish him for its commission.’
+
+‘But man is a free agent,’ observed Lachesis, in as mild a tone as she
+could command.
+
+‘Then what becomes of Destiny?’ replied Proserpine.
+
+‘Destiny is eternal and irresistible,’ replied Clotho. ‘All is ordained;
+but man is, nevertheless, master of his own actions.’
+
+‘I do not understand that,’ said Proserpine.
+
+‘It is not meant to be understood,’ said Atropos; ‘but you must
+nevertheless believe it.’
+
+‘I make it a rule only to believe what I understand,’ replied
+Proserpine.
+
+‘It appears,’ said Lachesis, with a blended glance of contempt and
+vengeance, ‘that your Majesty, though a goddess, is an atheist.’
+
+‘As for that, anybody may call me just what they please, provided they
+do nothing else. So long as I am not tied to a wheel or whipped with
+scorpions for speaking my mind, I shall be as tolerant of the speech and
+acts of others as I expect them to be tolerant of mine. Come, Pluto, I
+am sure that the chariot must be ready!’
+
+So saying, her Majesty took the arm of her spouse, and with a haughty
+curtsey left the apartment.
+
+‘Did you ever!’ shrieked Tisiphone, as the door closed.
+
+‘No! never!’ squeaked Megaera.
+
+‘Never! never!’ moaned Alecto.
+
+‘She must understand what she believes, must she?’ said Lachesis,
+scarcely less irritated.
+
+‘I never heard such nonsense,’ said Clotho.
+
+‘What next!’ said Atropos.
+
+‘Disgusted with torture!’ exclaimed the Furies.
+
+‘Puzzled with Destiny!’ said the Fates.
+
+It was the third morning after the Infernal Marriage; the slumbering
+Proserpine reposed in the arms of the snoring Pluto. There was a loud
+knocking at the chamber-door. Pluto jumped up in the middle of a dream.
+
+‘My life, what is the matter?’ exclaimed Proserpine.
+
+The knocking was repeated and increased. There was also a loud shout of
+‘treason, murder, and fire!’
+
+‘What is the matter?’ exclaimed the god, jumping out of bed and seizing
+his trident. ‘Who is there?’
+
+‘Your pages, your faithful pages! Treason! treason! For the sake of
+Hell, open the door. Murder, fire, treason!’
+
+‘Enter!’ said Pluto, as the door was unlocked.
+
+And Terror and Rage entered.
+
+‘You frightful things, get out of the room!’ cried Proserpine.
+
+‘A moment, my angel!’ said Pluto, ‘a single moment. Be not alarmed, my
+best love; I pray you be not alarmed. Well, imps, why am I disturbed?’
+
+‘Oh!’ said Terror. Rage could not speak, but gnashed his teeth and
+stamped his feet.
+
+‘O-o-o-h!’ repeated Terror.
+
+‘Speak, cursed imps!’ cried the enraged Pluto; and he raised his arm.
+
+‘A man! a man!’ cried Terror. ‘Treason, treason! a man! a man!’
+
+‘What man?’ said Pluto, in a rage.
+
+‘A man, a live man, has entered Hell!’
+
+‘You don’t say so?’ said Proserpine; ‘a man, a live man. Let me see him
+immediately.’
+
+‘Where is he?’ said Pluto; ‘what is he doing?’
+
+‘He is here, there, and everywhere! asking for your wife, and singing
+like anything.’
+
+‘Proserpine!’ said Pluto, reproachfully; but, to do the god justice, he
+was more astounded than jealous.
+
+‘I am sure I shall be delighted to see him; it is so long since I have
+seen a live man,’ said Proserpine. ‘Who can he be? A man, and a live
+man! How delightful! It must be a messenger from my mother.’
+
+‘But how came he here?’
+
+‘Ah! how came he here?’ echoed Terror.
+
+‘No time must be lost!’ exclaimed Pluto, scrambling on his robe. ‘Seize
+him, and bring him into the council chamber. My charming Proserpine,
+excuse me for a moment.’
+
+‘Not at all; I will accompany you.’
+
+‘But, my love, my sweetest, my own, this is business; these are affairs
+of state. The council chamber is not a place for you.’
+
+‘And why not?’ said Proserpine. ‘I have no idea of ever leaving you for
+a moment. Why not for me as well as for the Fates and the Furies? Am I
+not Queen? I have no idea of such nonsense!’
+
+‘My love!’ said the deprecating husband.
+
+‘You don’t go without me,’ said the imperious wife, seizing his robe.
+
+‘I must,’ said Pluto.
+
+‘Then you shall never return,’ said Proserpine.
+
+‘Enchantress! be reasonable.’
+
+‘I never was, and I never will be,’ replied the Goddess.
+
+‘Treason! treason!’ screamed Terror.
+
+‘My love, I must go!’
+
+‘Pluto,’ said Proserpine, ‘understand me once for all, I will not be
+contradicted.’
+
+Rage stamped his foot.
+
+‘Proserpine, understand me once for all, it is impossible,’ said the
+God, frowning.
+
+‘My Pluto!’ said the Queen. ‘Is it my Pluto who speaks thus sternly to
+me? Is it he who, but an hour ago, a short hour ago, died upon my bosom
+in transports and stifled me with kisses! Unhappy woman! wretched,
+miserable Proserpine! Oh! my mother! my kind, my affectionate mother!
+Have I disobeyed you for this! For this have I deserted you! For this
+have I broken your beloved heart!’ She buried her face in the crimson
+counterpane, and bedewed its gorgeous embroidery with her fast-flowing
+tears.
+
+‘Treason!’ shouted Terror.
+
+‘Ha! ha! ha!’ exclaimed the hysterical Proserpine.
+
+‘What am I to do?’ cried Pluto. ‘Proserpine, my adored, my beloved, my
+enchanting Proserpine, compose yourself; for my sake, compose yourself.
+I love you! I adore you! You know it! oh! indeed you know it!’
+
+The hysterics increased.
+
+‘Treason! treason!’ shouted Terror.
+
+‘Hold your infernal tongue,’ said Pluto. ‘What do I care for treason
+when the Queen is in this state?’ He knelt by the bedside, and tried to
+stop her mouth with kisses, and ever and anon whispered his passion. ‘My
+Proserpine, I beseech you to be calm; I will do anything you like. Come,
+come, then, to the council!’
+
+The hysterics ceased; the Queen clasped him in her arms and rewarded him
+with a thousand embraces. Then, jumping up, she bathed her swollen eyes
+with a beautiful cosmetic that she and her maidens had distilled from
+the flowers of Enna; and, wrapping herself up in her shawl, descended
+with his Majesty, who was quite as much puzzled about the cause of this
+disturbance as when he was first roused.
+
+Crossing an immense covered bridge, the origin of the Bridge of Sighs at
+Venice, over the royal gardens, which consisted entirely of cypress,
+the royal pair, preceded by the pages-in-waiting, entered the council
+chamber. The council was already assembled. On either side of a throne
+of sulphur, from which issued the four infernal rivers of Lethe,
+Phlegethon, Cocytus, and Acheron, were ranged the Eumenides and Parcae.
+Lachesis and her sisters turned up their noses when they observed
+Proserpine; but the Eumenides could not stifle their fury, in spite of
+the hints of their more subdued but not less malignant companions.
+
+‘What is all this?’ inquired Pluto.
+
+‘The constitution is in danger,’ said the Parcae in chorus.
+
+‘Both in church and state,’ added the Furies. ‘‘Tis a case of treason
+and blasphemy;’ and they waved their torches and shook their whips with
+delighted anticipation of their use.
+
+‘Detail the circumstances,’ said Pluto, waving his hand majestically to
+Lachesis, in whose good sense he had great confidence.
+
+‘A man, a living man, has entered your kingdom, unknown and unnoticed,’
+said Lachesis.
+
+‘By my sceptre, is it true?’ said the astonished King. ‘Is he seized?’
+
+‘The extraordinary mortal baffles our efforts,’ said Lachesis. ‘He
+bears with him a lyre, the charmed gift of Apollo, and so seducing are
+his strains that in vain our guards advance to arrest his course; they
+immediately begin dancing, and he easily eludes their efforts. The
+general confusion is indescribable. All business is at a standstill:
+Ixion rests upon his wheel; old Sisyphus sits down on his mountain,
+and his stone has fallen with a terrible plash into Acheron. In short,
+unless we are energetic, we are on the eve of a revolution.’
+
+‘His purpose?’
+
+‘He seeks yourself and--her Majesty,’ added Lachesis, with a sneer.
+
+‘Immediately announce that we will receive him.’
+
+The unexpected guest was not slow in acknowledging the royal summons.
+A hasty treaty was drawn up; he was to enter the palace unmolested,
+on condition that he ceased playing his lyre. The Fates and the Furies
+exchanged significant glances as his approach was announced.
+
+The man, the live man, who had committed the unprecedented crime of
+entering Hell without a licence, and the previous deposit of his soul as
+security for the good behaviour of his body, stood before the surprised
+and indignant Court of Hades. Tall and graceful in stature, and crowned
+with laurels, Proserpine was glad to observe that the man, who was
+evidently famous, was also good-looking.
+
+‘Thy purpose, mortal?’ inquired Pluto, with awful majesty.
+
+‘Mercy!’ answered the stranger in a voice of exquisite melody, and
+sufficiently embarrassed to render him interesting.
+
+‘What is mercy?’ inquired the Fates and the Furies.
+
+‘Speak, stranger, without fear,’ said Proserpine. ‘Thy name?’
+
+‘Is Orpheus; but a few days back the too happy husband of the enchanting
+Eurydice. Alas! dread King, and thou too, beautiful and benignant
+partner of his throne, I won her by my lyre, and by my lyre I would
+redeem her. Know, then, that in the very glow of our gratified passion
+a serpent crept under the flowers on which we reposed, and by a fatal
+sting summoned my adored to the shades. Why did it not also summon me?
+I will not say why should I not have been the victim in her stead; for
+I feel too keenly that the doom of Eurydice would not have been less
+forlorn, had she been the wretched being who had been spared to life. O
+King! they whispered on earth that thou too hadst yielded thy heart to
+the charms of love. Pluto, they whispered, is no longer stern: Pluto
+also feels the all-subduing influence of beauty. Dread monarch, by the
+self-same passion that rages in our breasts alike, I implore thy mercy.
+Thou hast risen from the couch of love, the arm of thy adored has
+pressed upon thy heart, her honied lips have clung with rapture
+to thine, still echo in thy ears all the enchanting phrases of her
+idolatry. Then, by the memory of these, by all the higher and ineffable
+joys to which these lead, King of Hades, spare me, oh! spare me,
+Eurydice!’
+
+Proserpine threw her arms round the neck of her husband, and, hiding her
+face in his breast, wept.
+
+‘Rash mortal, you demand that which is not in the power of Pluto to
+concede,’ said Lachesis.
+
+‘I have heard much of treason since my entrance into Hades,’ replied
+Orpheus, ‘and this sounds like it.’
+
+‘Mortal!’ exclaimed Clotho, with contempt.
+
+‘Nor is it in your power to return, sir,’ said Tisiphone, shaking her
+whip.
+
+‘We have accounts to settle with you,’ said Megaera.
+
+‘Spare her, spare her,’ murmured Proserpine to her lover.
+
+‘King of Hades!’ said Lachesis, with much dignity, ‘I hold a
+responsible office in your realm, and I claim the constitutional
+privilege of your attention. I protest against the undue influence
+of the Queen. She is a power unknown in our constitution, and an
+irresponsible agent that I will not recognise. Let her go back to the
+drawing-room, where all will bow to her.’
+
+‘Hag!’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘King of Hades, I, too, can appeal to you.
+Have I accepted your crown to be insulted by your subjects?’
+
+‘A subject, may it please your Majesty, who has duties as strictly
+defined by our infernal constitution as those of your royal spouse;
+duties, too, which, let me tell you, madam, I and _my order_ are
+resolved to perform.’
+
+‘Gods of Olympus!’ cried Proserpine. ‘Is this to be a Queen?’
+
+‘Before we proceed further in this discussion,’ said Lachesis, ‘I must
+move an inquiry into the conduct of his Excellency the Governor of the
+Gates. I move, then, that Cerberus be summoned.
+
+Pluto started, and the blood rose to his dark cheek. ‘I have not yet had
+an opportunity of mentioning,’ said his Majesty, in a low tone, and with
+an air of considerable confusion, ‘that I have thought fit, as a reward
+for his past services, to promote Cerberus to the office of the Master
+of the Hounds. He therefore is no longer responsible.’
+
+‘O-h!’ shrieked the Furies, as they elevated their hideous eyes.
+
+‘The constitution has invested your Majesty with a power in the
+appointment of your Officers of State which your Majesty has undoubtedly
+a right to exercise,’ said Lachesis. ‘What degree of discretion it
+anticipated in the exercise, it is now unnecessary, and would be
+extremely disagreeable, to discuss. I shall not venture to inquire by
+what new influence your Majesty has been guided in the present instance.
+The consequence of your Majesty’s conduct is obvious, in the very
+difficult situation in which your realm is now placed. For myself and my
+colleagues, I have only to observe that we decline, under this crisis,
+any further responsibility; and the distaff and the shears are at your
+Majesty’s service the moment your Majesty may find convenient successors
+to the present holders. As a last favour, in addition to the many we are
+proud to remember we have received from your Majesty, we entreat that we
+may be relieved from their burthen as quickly as possible.’ (Loud cheers
+from the Eumenides.)
+
+‘We had better recall Cerberus,’ said Pluto, alarmed, ‘and send this
+mortal about his business.’
+
+‘Not without Eurydice. Oh! not without Eurydice,’ said the Queen.
+
+‘Silence, Proserpine!’ said Pluto.
+
+‘May it please your Majesty,’ said Lachesis, ‘I am doubtful whether we
+have the power of expelling anyone from Hades. It is not less the law
+that a mortal cannot remain here; and it is too notorious for me to
+mention the fact that none here have the power of inflicting death.’
+
+‘Of what use are all your laws,’ exclaimed Proserpine, ‘if they are only
+to perplex us? As there are no statutes to guide us, it is obvious that
+the King’s will is supreme. Let Orpheus depart, then, with his bride.’
+
+‘The latter suggestion is clearly illegal,’ said Lachesis.
+
+‘Lachesis, and ye, her sisters,’ said Proserpine, ‘forget, I beseech
+you, any warm words that may have passed between us, and, as a personal
+favour to one who would willingly be your friend, release Eurydice.
+What! you shake your heads! Nay; of what importance can be a single
+miserable shade, and one, too, summoned so cruelly before her time, in
+these thickly-peopled regions?’
+
+‘‘Tis the principle,’ said Lachesis; ‘‘tis the principle. Concession is
+ever fatal, however slight. Grant this demand; others, and greater, will
+quickly follow. Mercy becomes a precedent, and the realm is ruined.’
+
+‘Ruined!’ echoed the Furies.
+
+‘And I say _preserved!_’ exclaimed Proserpine with energy. ‘The State is
+in confusion, and you yourselves confess that you know not how to remedy
+it. Unable to suggest a course, follow mine. I am the advocate of
+mercy; I am the advocate of concession; and, as you despise all higher
+impulses, I meet you on your own grounds. I am their advocate for the
+sake of policy, of expediency.’
+
+‘Never!’ said the Fates.
+
+‘Never!’ shrieked the Furies.
+
+‘What, then, will you do with Orpheus?’
+
+The Parcae shook their heads; even the Eumenides were silent.
+
+‘Then you are unable to carry on the King’s government; for Orpheus must
+be disposed of; all agree to that. Pluto, reject these counsellors, at
+once insulting and incapable. Give me the distaff and the fatal shears.
+At once form a new Cabinet; and let the release of Orpheus and Eurydice
+be the basis of their policy.’ She threw her arms round his neck and
+whispered in his ear.
+
+Pluto was perplexed; his confidence in the Parcae was shaken. A
+difficulty had occurred with which they could not cope. It was true the
+difficulty had been occasioned by a departure from their own exclusive
+and restrictive policy. It was clear that the gates of Hell ought never
+to have been opened to the stranger; but opened they had been. Forced to
+decide, he decided on the side of _expediency_, and signed a decree for
+the departure of Orpheus and Eurydice. The Parcas immediately resigned
+their posts, and the Furies walked off in a huff. Thus, on the third day
+of the Infernal Marriage, Pluto found that he had quarrelled with all
+his family, and that his ancient administration was broken up. The King
+was without a friend, and Hell was without a Government!
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+     _A Visit to Elysium_
+
+LET us change the scene from Hades to Olympus.
+
+A chariot drawn by dragons hovered over that superb palace whose
+sparkling steps of lapislazuli were once pressed by the daring foot of
+Ixion. It descended into the beautiful gardens, and Ceres, stepping out,
+sought the presence of Jove.
+
+‘Father of gods and men,’ said the majestic mother of Proserpine,
+‘listen to a distracted parent! All my hopes were centred in my
+daughter, the daughter of whom you have deprived me. Is it for this that
+I endured the pangs of childbirth? Is it for this that I suckled her
+on this miserable bosom? Is it for this that I tended her girlish
+innocence, watched with vigilant fondness the development of her
+youthful mind, and cultured with a thousand graces and accomplishments
+her gifted and unrivalled promise? to lose her for ever!’
+
+‘Beloved Bona Dea,’ replied Jove, ‘calm yourself!’
+
+‘Jupiter, you forget that I am a mother.’
+
+‘It is the recollection of that happy circumstance that alone should
+make you satisfied.’
+
+‘Do you mock me? Where is my daughter?’
+
+‘In the very situation you should desire. In her destiny all is
+fulfilled which the most affectionate mother could hope. What was the
+object of all your care and all her accomplishments? a good parti; and
+she has found one.’
+
+‘To reign in Hell!’
+
+‘“Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.” What! would you have
+had her a cup-bearer, like Hebe, or a messenger, like Hermes? Was
+the daughter of Jove and Ceres to be destined to a mere place in our
+household! Lady! she is the object of envy to half the goddesses. Bating
+our own bed, which she could not share, what lot more distinguished than
+hers? Recollect that goddesses, who desire a becoming match, have a
+very limited circle to elect from. Even Venus was obliged to put up with
+Vulcan. It will not do to be too nice. Thank your stars that she is not
+an old maid like Minerva.’
+
+‘But Mars? he loved her.’
+
+‘A young officer only with his half-pay, however good his connections,
+is surely not a proper mate for our daughter.’
+
+‘Apollo?’
+
+‘I have no opinion of a literary son-in-law. These scribblers are at
+present the fashion, and are very well to ask to dinner; but I confess a
+more intimate connection with them is not at all to my taste.’
+
+‘I meet Apollo everywhere.’
+
+‘The truth is, he is courted because every one is afraid of him. He is
+the editor of a daily journal, and under the pretence of throwing light
+upon every subject, brings a great many disagreeable things into notice,
+which is excessively inconvenient. Nobody likes to be paragraphed; and
+for my part I should only be too happy to extinguish the Sun and every
+other newspaper were it only in my power.’
+
+‘But Pluto is so old, and so ugly, and, all agree, so ill-tempered.’
+
+‘He has a splendid income, a magnificent estate; his settlements are
+worthy of his means. This ought to satisfy a mother; and his political
+influence is necessary to me, and this satisfies a father.’
+
+‘But the heart-----’
+
+‘As for that, she fancies she loves him; and whether she do or not,
+these feelings, we know, never last. Rest assured, my dear Ceres, that
+our girl has made a brilliant match, in spite of the gloomy atmosphere
+in which she has to reside.’
+
+‘It must end in misery. I know Proserpine. I confess it with tears, she
+is a spoiled child.’
+
+‘This may occasion Pluto many uneasy moments; but that is nothing to you
+or me. Between ourselves, I shall not be at all surprised if she plague
+his life out.’
+
+‘But how can she consort with the Fates? How is it possible for her
+to associate with the Furies? She, who is used to the gayest and most
+amiable society in the world? Indeed, indeed, ‘tis an ill-assorted
+union!’
+
+‘They are united, however; and, take my word for it, my dear madam, that
+you had better leave Pluto alone. The interference of a mother-in-law is
+proverbially never very felicitous.’
+
+In the meantime affairs went on swimmingly in Tartarus. The obstinate
+Fates and the sulky Furies were unwittingly the cause of universal
+satisfaction. Everyone enjoyed himself, and enjoyment when it is
+unexpected is doubly satisfactory. Tantalus, Sisyphus, and Ixion, for
+the first time during their punishment, had an opportunity for a little
+conversation.
+
+‘Long live our reforming Queen,’ said the ex-king of Lydia. ‘You
+cannot conceive, my dear companions, anything more delightful than this
+long-coveted draught of cold water; its flavour far surpasses the memory
+of my choicest wines. And as for this delicious fruit, one must live
+in a hot climate, like our present one, sufficiently to appreciate
+its refreshing gust. I would, my dear friends, you could only share my
+banquet.’
+
+‘Your Majesty is very kind,’ replied Sisyphus, ‘but it seems to me that
+nothing in the world will ever induce me again to move. One must have
+toiled for ages to comprehend the rapturous sense of repose that now
+pervades my exhausted frame. Is it possible that that damned stone can
+really have disappeared?’
+
+‘You say truly,’ said Ixion, ‘the couches of Olympus cannot compare with
+this resting wheel.’
+
+‘Noble Sisyphus,’ rejoined Tantalus, ‘we are both of us acquainted with
+the cause of our companion’s presence in those infernal regions, since
+his daring exploit has had the good fortune of being celebrated by one
+of the fashionable authors of this part of the world.’
+
+‘I have never had time to read his work,’ interrupted Ixion. ‘What sort
+of a fellow is he?’
+
+‘One of the most conceited dogs that I ever met with,’ replied the King.
+‘He thinks he is a great genius, and perhaps he has some little talent
+for the extravagant.’
+
+‘Are there any critics in Hell?’
+
+‘Myriads. They abound about the marshes of Cocytus, where they croak
+furiously. They are all to a man against our author.’
+
+‘That speaks more to his credit than his own self-opinion,’ rejoined
+Ixion.
+
+‘_A nous moutons!_’ exclaimed Tantalus; ‘I was about to observe that
+I am curious to learn for what reason our friend Sisyphus was doomed to
+his late terrible exertions.’
+
+‘For the simplest in the world,’ replied the object of the inquiry;
+‘because I was not a hypocrite. No one ever led a pleasanter life than
+myself, and no one was more popular in society. I was considered, as
+they phrased it, the most long-headed prince of my time, and was in
+truth a finished man of the world. I had not an acquaintance whom I had
+not taken in, and gods and men alike favoured me. In an unlucky moment,
+however, I offended the infernal deities, and it was then suddenly
+discovered that I was the most abandoned character of my age. You know
+the rest.’
+
+‘You seem,’ exclaimed Tantalus, ‘to be relating my own history; for I
+myself led a reckless career with impunity, until some of the gods did
+me the honour of dining with me, and were dissatisfied with the repast.
+I am convinced myself that, provided a man frequent the temples, and
+observe with strictness the sacred festivals, such is the force of
+public opinion, that there is no crime which he may not commit without
+hazard.’
+
+‘Long live hypocrisy!’ exclaimed Ixion. ‘It is not my forte. But if I
+began life anew, I would be more observant in my sacrifices.’
+
+‘Who could have anticipated this wonderful revolution!’ exclaimed
+Sisyphus, stretching himself. ‘I wonder what will occur next! Perhaps we
+shall be all released.’
+
+‘You say truly,’ said Ixion. ‘I am grateful to our reforming Queen;
+but I have no idea of stopping here. This cursed wheel indeed no longer
+whirls; but I confess my expectations will be much disappointed if I
+cannot free myself from these adamantine bonds that fix me to its orb.’
+
+‘And one cannot drink water for ever,’ said Tantalus.
+
+‘D--n all half measures,’ said Ixion. ‘We must proceed in this system of
+amelioration.’
+
+‘Without doubt,’ responded his companion.
+
+‘The Queen must have a party,’ continued the audacious lover of Juno.
+‘The Fates and the Furies never can be conciliated. It is evident to me
+that she must fall unless she unbinds these chains of mine.’
+
+‘And grants me full liberty of egress and regress,’ exclaimed Sisyphus.
+
+‘And me a bottle of the finest golden wine of Lydia,’ said Tantalus.
+
+The infernal honeymoon was over. A cloud appeared in the hitherto serene
+heaven of the royal lovers. Proserpine became unwell. A mysterious
+languor pervaded her frame; her accustomed hilarity deserted her. She
+gave up her daily rides; she never quitted the palace, scarcely her
+chamber. All day long she remained lying on a sofa, and whenever Pluto
+endeavoured to console her she went into hysterics. His Majesty was
+quite miserable, and the Fates and the Furies began to hold up their
+heads. The two court physicians could throw no light upon the complaint,
+which baffled all their remedies. These, indeed, were not numerous,
+for the two physicians possessed each only one idea. With one every
+complaint was nervous; the other traced everything to the liver. The
+name of the first was Dr. Blue-Devil; and of the other Dr. Blue-Pill.
+They were most eminent men.
+
+Her Majesty, getting worse every day, Pluto, in despair, determined to
+send for AEsculapius. It was a long way to send for a physician; but then
+he was the most fashionable one in the world. He cared not how far he
+travelled to visit a patient, because he was paid by the mile; and it
+was calculated that his fee for quitting earth, and attending the Queen
+of Hell, would allow him to leave off business.
+
+What a wise physician was AEsculapius! Physic was his abhorrence. He
+never was known, in the whole course of his practice, ever to have
+prescribed a single drug. He was a handsome man, with a flowing beard
+curiously perfumed, and a robe of the choicest purple. He twirled a cane
+of agate, round which was twined a serpent of precious stones, the gift
+of Juno, and he rode in a chariot drawn by horses of the Sun. When he
+visited Proserpine, he neither examined her tongue nor felt her pulse,
+but gave her an account of a fancy ball which he had attended the last
+evening he passed on _terra firma_. His details were so interesting that
+the Queen soon felt better. The next day he renewed his visit, and gave
+her an account of a new singer that had appeared at Ephesus. The effect
+of this recital was so satisfactory, that a bulletin in the evening
+announced that the Queen was convalescent. The third day AEsculapius
+took his departure, having previously enjoined change of scene for her
+Majesty, and a visit to the Elysian Fields!
+
+‘Heh, heh!’ shrieked Tisiphone.
+
+‘Hah, hah!’ squeaked Megaera.
+
+‘Hoh, hoh!’ moaned Alecto.
+
+‘Now or never,’ said the infernal sisters. ‘There is a decided reaction.
+The moment she embarks, unquestionably we will flare up.’ So they ran
+off to the Fates.
+
+‘We must be prudent,’ said Clotho.
+
+‘Our time is not come,’ remarked Lachesis.
+
+‘I wish the reaction was more decided,’ said Atropos; ‘but it is a
+great thing that they are going to be parted, for the King must remain.’
+
+The opposition party, although aiming at the same result, was therefore
+evidently divided as to the means by which it was to be obtained. The
+sanguine Furies were for fighting it out at once, and talked bravely
+of the strong conservative spirit only dormant in Tartarus. Even the
+Radicals themselves are dissatisfied: Tantalus is no longer contented
+with water, or Ixion with repose. But the circumspect Fates felt that a
+false step at present could never be regained. They talked, therefore,
+of watching events. Both divisions, however, agreed that the royal
+embarkation was to be the signal for renewed intrigues and renovated
+exertions.
+
+When Proserpine was assured that she must be parted for a time from
+Pluto, she was inconsolable. They passed the night in sorrowful
+embraces. She vowed that she could not live a day without him, and that
+she certainly should die before she reached the first post. The mighty
+heart of the King of Hades was torn to pieces with contending emotions.
+In the agony of his overwhelming passion the security of his realm
+seemed of secondary importance compared with the happiness of his wife.
+Fear and hatred of the Parcae and the Eumenides equalled, however,
+in the breast of Proserpine, her affection for her husband. The
+consciousness that his absence would be a signal for a revolution, and
+that the crown of Tartarus might be lost to her expected offspring,
+animated her with a spirit of heroism. She reconciled herself to the
+terrible separation, on condition that Pluto wrote to her every day.
+
+‘Adieu! my best, my only beloved!’ ejaculated the unhappy Queen; ‘do not
+forget me for a moment; and let nothing in the world induce you to speak
+to any of those horrid people. I know them; I know exactly what they
+will be at: the moment I am gone they will commence their intrigues for
+the restoration of the reign of doom and torture. Do not listen to them,
+my Pluto. Sooner than have recourse to them, seek assistance from their
+former victims.’
+
+‘Calm yourself, my Proserpine. Anticipate no evil. I shall be firm; do
+not doubt me. I will cling with tenacity to that _juste milieu_ under
+which we have hitherto so eminently prospered. Neither the Parcae and the
+Eumenides, nor Ixion and his friends, shall advance a point. I will keep
+each faction in awe by the bugbear of the other’s supremacy. Trust me, I
+am a profound politician.’
+
+It was determined that the progress of Proserpine to the Elysian Fields
+should be celebrated with a pomp and magnificence becoming her exalted
+station. The day of her departure was proclaimed as a high festival in
+Hell. Tiresias, absent on a secret mission, had been summoned back by
+Pluto, and appointed to attend her Majesty during her journey and her
+visit, for Pluto had the greatest confidence in his discretion. Besides,
+as her Majesty had not at present the advantage of any female society,
+it was necessary that she should be amused; and Tiresias, though
+old, ugly, and blind, was a wit as well as a philosopher, the most
+distinguished diplomatist of his age, and considered the best company in
+Hades.
+
+An immense crowd was assembled round the gates of the palace on the morn
+of the royal departure. With what anxious curiosity did they watch those
+huge brazen portals! Every precaution was taken for the accommodation of
+the public. The streets were lined with troops of extraordinary stature,
+whose nodding plumes prevented the multitude from catching a glimpse of
+anything that passed, and who cracked the skulls of the populace with
+their scimitars if they attempted in the slightest degree to break the
+line. Moreover, there were seats erected which any one might occupy at
+a reasonable rate; but the lord steward, who had the disposal of the
+tickets, purchased them all for himself, and then resold them to his
+fellow-subjects at an enormous price.
+
+At length the hinges of the gigantic portals gave an ominous creak,
+and, amid the huzzas of men and the shrieks of women, the procession
+commenced.
+
+First came the infernal band. It consisted of five hundred performers,
+mounted on different animals. Never was such a melodious blast. Fifty
+trumpeters, mounted on zebras of all possible stripes and tints, and
+working away at huge ramshorns with their cheeks like pumpkins. Then
+there were bassoons mounted on bears, clarionets on camelopards, oboes
+on unicorns, and troops of musicians on elephants, playing on real
+serpents, whose prismatic bodies indulged in the most extraordinary
+convolutions imaginable, and whose arrowy tongues glittered with superb
+agitation at the exquisite sounds which they unintentionally delivered.
+Animals there were, too, now unknown and forgotten; but I must not
+forget the fellow who beat the kettledrums, mounted on an enormous
+mammoth, and the din of whose reverberating blows would have deadened
+the thunder of Olympus.
+
+This enchanting harmony preceded the regiment of Proserpine’s own
+guards, glowing in adamantine armour and mounted on coal-black steeds.
+Their helmets were quite awful, and surmounted by plumes plucked from
+the wings of the Harpies, which were alone enough to terrify an earthly
+host. It was droll to observe this troop of gigantic heroes commanded
+by infants, who, however, were arrayed in a similar costume, though, of
+course, on a smaller scale. But such was the admirable discipline of the
+infernal forces, that, though lions to their enemies, they were Iambs to
+their friends; and on the present occasion their colonel was carried in
+a cradle.
+
+After these came twelve most worshipful baboons, in most venerable wigs.
+They were clothed with scarlet robes lined with ermine, and ornamented
+with gold chains, and mounted on the most obstinate and inflexible mules
+in Tartarus. These were the judges. Each was provided with a pannier of
+choice cobnuts, which he cracked with great gravity, throwing the shells
+to the multitude, an infernal ceremony, there held emblematic of their
+profession.
+
+The Lord Chancellor came next in a grand car. Although his wig was even
+longer than those of his fellow functionaries, his manners and the rest
+of his costume afforded a strange contrast to them. Apparently never
+was such a droll, lively fellow. His dress was something between that of
+Harlequin and Scaramouch. He amused himself by keeping in the air
+four brazen balls at the same time, swallowing daggers, spitting fire,
+turning sugar into salt, and eating yards of pink ribbon, which, after
+being well digested, re-appeared through his nose. It is unnecessary to
+add, after this, that he was the most popular Lord Chancellor that had
+ever held the seals, and was received with loud and enthusiastic cheers,
+which apparently repaid him for all his exertions. Notwithstanding his
+numerous and curious occupations, I should not omit to add that his
+Lordship, nevertheless, found time to lead by the nose a most meek and
+milk-white jackass that immediately followed him, and which, in spite
+of the remarkable length of its ears, seemed the object of great
+veneration. There was evidently some mystery about this animal difficult
+to penetrate. Among other characteristics, it was said, at different
+seasons, to be distinguished by different titles; for sometimes it was
+styled ‘The Public,’ at others ‘Opinion,’ and occasionally was saluted
+as the ‘King’s Conscience.’
+
+Now came a numerous company of Priests, in flowing and funereal robes,
+bearing banners, inscribed with the various titles of their Queen; on
+some was inscribed Hecate, on others Juno Inferna, on others Theogamia,
+Libera on some, on others Cotytto. Those that bore banners were crowned
+with wreaths of narcissus, and mounted on bulls blacker than night, and
+of a severe and melancholy aspect. Others walked by their side, bearing
+branches of cypress.
+
+And here I must stop to notice a droll characteristic of the priestly
+economy of Hades. To be a good pedestrian was considered an essential
+virtue of an infernal clergyman; but to be mounted on a black bull was
+the highest distinction of the craft. It followed, therefore, that,
+originally, promotion to such a seat was the natural reward of any
+priest who had distinguished himself in the humbler career of a good
+walker; but in process of time, as even infernal as well as human
+institutions are alike liable to corruption, the black bulls became
+too often occupied by the halt and the crippled, the feeble and the
+paralytic, who used their influence at Court to become thus exempted
+from the performance of the severer duties of which they were incapable.
+This violation of the priestly constitution excited at first great
+murmurs among the abler but less influential brethren. But the murmurs
+of the weak prove only the tyranny of the strong; and so completely in
+the course of time do institutions depart from their original character,
+that the imbecile riders of the black bulls now avowedly defended their
+position on the very grounds which originally should have unseated
+them, and openly maintained that it was very evident that the stout were
+intended to walk, and the feeble to be carried.
+
+The priests were followed by fifty dark chariots, drawn by blue satyrs.
+Herein was the wardrobe of the Queen, and her Majesty’s cooks.
+
+Tiresias came next, in a basalt chariot, yoked to royal steeds. He was
+attended by Manto, who shared his confidence, and who, some said, was
+his daughter, and others his niece. Venerable seer! Who could behold
+that flowing beard, and the thin grey hairs of that lofty and wrinkled
+brow, without being filled with sensations of awe and affection? A smile
+of bland benignity played upon his passionless and reverend countenance.
+Fortunate the monarch who is blessed with such a counsellor! Who could
+have supposed that all this time Tiresias was concocting an epigram on
+Pluto!
+
+The Queen! The Queen!
+
+Upon a superb throne, placed upon an immense car, and drawn by twelve
+coal-black steeds, four abreast, reposed the royal daughter of Ceres.
+Her rich dark hair was braided off her high pale forehead, and fell in
+voluptuous clusters over her back. A tiara sculptured out of a single
+brilliant, and which darted a flash like lightning on the surrounding
+multitude, was placed somewhat negligently on the right side of her
+head; but no jewels broke the entrancing swell of her swan-like neck, or
+were dimmed by the lustre of her ravishing arms. How fair was the Queen
+of Hell! How thrilling the solemn lustre of her violet eye! A robe,
+purple as the last hour of twilight, encompassed her transcendent form,
+studded with golden stars!
+
+Through the dim hot streets of Tartarus moved the royal procession,
+until it reached the first winding of the river Styx. Here an immense
+assemblage of yachts and barges, dressed out with the infernal
+colours, denoted the appointed spot of the royal embarkation. Tiresias,
+dismounting from his chariot, and leaning on Manto, now approached her
+Majesty, and requesting her royal commands, recommended her to lose no
+time in getting on board.
+
+‘When your Majesty is once on the Styx,’ observed the wily seer, ‘it may
+be somewhat difficult to recall you to Hades; but I know very little of
+Clotho, may it please your Majesty, if she have not already commenced
+her intrigues in Tartarus.’
+
+‘You alarm me!’ said Proserpine.
+
+‘It was not my intention. Caution is not fear.’
+
+‘But do you think that Pluto------’
+
+‘May it please your Majesty, I make it a rule never to think. I know too
+much.’
+
+‘Let us embark immediately!’
+
+‘Certainly; I would recommend your Majesty to get off at once. Myself
+and Manto will accompany you, and the cooks. If an order arrive to stay
+our departure, we can then send back the priests.’
+
+‘You counsel well, Tiresias. I wish you had not been absent on my
+arrival. Affairs might have gone better.’
+
+‘Not at all. Had I been in Hell, your enemies would have been more wary.
+Your Majesty’s excellent spirit carried you through triumphantly; but it
+will not do so twice. You turned them out, and I must keep them out.’
+
+‘So be it, my dear friend.’ Thus saying, the Queen descended her
+throne, and leaving the rest of her retinue to follow with all possible
+despatch, embarked on board the infernal yacht, with Tiresias, Manto,
+the chief cook, and some chosen attendants, and bid adieu for the first
+time, not without agitation, to the gloomy banks of Tartarus.
+
+The breeze was favourable, and, animated by the exhortations of
+Tiresias, the crew exerted themselves to the utmost. The barque swiftly
+scudded over the dark waters. The river was of great breadth, and in
+this dim region the crew were soon out of sight of land.
+
+‘You have been in Elysium?’ inquired Proserpine of Tiresias.
+
+‘I have been everywhere,’ replied the seer, ‘and though I am blind have
+managed to see a great deal more than my fellows.’
+
+‘I have often heard of you,’ said the Queen, ‘and I confess that yours
+is a career which has much interested me. What vicissitudes in affairs
+have you not witnessed! And yet you have somehow or other contrived to
+make your way through all the storms in which others have sunk, and are
+now, as you always have been, in an exalted position. What can be
+your magic? I would that you would initiate me. I know that you are a
+prophet, and that even the gods consult you.’
+
+‘Your Majesty is complimentary. I certainly have had a great deal of
+experience. My life has no doubt been a long one, but I have made it
+longer by never losing a moment. I was born, too, at a great crisis in
+affairs. Everything that took place before the Trojan war passes for
+nothing in the annals of wisdom. That was a great revolution in all
+affairs human and divine, and from that event we must now date all our
+knowledge. Before the Trojan war we used to talk of the rebellion of
+the Titans, but that business now is an old almanac. As for my powers of
+prophecy, believe me, that those who understand the past are very well
+qualified to predict the future. For my success in life, it may be
+principally ascribed to the observance of a simple rule--I never
+trust anyone, either god or man. I make an exception in favour of the
+goddesses, and especially of your Majesty,’ added Tiresias, who piqued
+himself on his gallantry.
+
+While they were thus conversing, the Queen directed the attention
+of Manto to a mountainous elevation which now began to rise in the
+distance, and which, from the rapidity of the tide and the freshness of
+the breeze, they approached at a swift rate.
+
+‘Behold the Stygian mountains,’ replied Manto. ‘Through their centre
+runs the passage of Night which leads to the regions of Twilight.’
+
+‘We have, then, far to travel?’
+
+‘Assuredly it is no easy task to escape from the gloom of Tartarus
+to the sunbeams of Elysium,’ remarked Tiresias; ‘but the pleasant is
+generally difficult; let us be grateful that in our instance it is not,
+as usual, forbidden.’
+
+‘You say truly; I am sorry to confess how very often it appears to
+me that sin is enjoyment. But see! how awful are these perpendicular
+heights, piercing the descending vapours, with their peaks clothed with
+dark pines! We seem land-locked.’
+
+But the experienced master of the infernal yacht knew well how to steer
+his charge through the intricate windings of the river, which here,
+though deep and navigable, became as wild and narrow as a mountain
+stream; and, as the tide no longer served them, and the wind, from their
+involved course, was as often against them as in their favour, the crew
+were obliged to have recourse to their oars, and rowed along until they
+arrived at the mouth of an enormous cavern, from which the rapid stream
+apparently issued.
+
+‘I am frightened out of my wits,’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘Surely this
+cannot be our course?’
+
+‘I hold, from your Majesty’s exclamation,’ said Tiresias, ‘that we have
+arrived at the passage of Night. When we have proceeded some hundred
+yards, we shall reach the adamantine portals. I pray your Majesty be not
+alarmed. I alone have the signet which can force these mystic gates to
+open. I must be stirring myself. What, ho! Manto.’
+
+‘Here am I, father. Hast thou the seal?’
+
+‘In my breast. I would not trust it to my secretaries. They have my
+portfolios full of secret despatches, written on purpose to deceive
+them; for I know that they are spies in the pay of Minerva; but your
+Majesty perceives, with a little prudence, that even a traitor may be
+turned to account.’
+
+Thus saying, Tiresias, leaning on Manto, hobbled to the poop of the
+vessel, and exclaiming aloud, ‘Behold the mighty seal of Dis, whereon
+is inscribed the word the Titans fear,’ the gates immediately flew open,
+revealing the gigantic form of the Titan Porphyrin, whose head touched
+the vault of the mighty cavern, although he was up to his waist in the
+waters of the river.
+
+‘Come, my noble Porphyrion,’ said Tiresias, ‘bestir thyself, I beseech
+thee. I have brought thee a Queen. Guide her Majesty, I entreat thee,
+with safety through this awful passage of Night.’
+
+‘What a horrible creature,’ whispered Proserpine. ‘I wonder you address
+him with such courtesy.’
+
+‘I am always courteous,’ replied Tiresias. ‘How know I that the Titans
+may not yet regain their lost heritage? They are terrible fellows; and
+ugly or not, I have no doubt that even your Majesty would not find them
+so ill-favoured were they seated in the halls of Olympus.’
+
+‘There is something in that,’ replied Proserpine. ‘I almost wish I were
+once more in Tartarus.’
+
+The Titan Porphyrion in the meantime had fastened a chain-cable to the
+vessel, which he placed over his shoulder, and turning his back to the
+crew, then wading through the waters, he dragged on the vessel in its
+course. The cavern widened, the waters spread. To the joy of Proserpine,
+apparently, she once more beheld the moon and stars.
+
+‘Bright crescent of Diana!’ exclaimed the enraptured Queen, ‘and ye
+too, sweet stars, that I have so often watched on the Sicilian plains;
+do I, then, indeed again behold you? or is it only some exquisite vision
+that entrances my being? for, indeed, I do not feel the freshness of
+that breeze that was wont to renovate my languid frame; nor does the
+odorous scent of flowers wafted from the shores delight my jaded senses.
+What is it? Is it life or death; earth, indeed, or Hell?’
+
+‘‘Tis nothing,’ said Tiresias, ‘but a great toy. You must know that
+Saturn--until at length, wearied by his ruinous experiments, the gods
+expelled him his empire--was a great dabbler in systems. He was always
+for making moons brighter than Diana, and lighting the stars by gas; but
+his systems never worked. The tides rebelled against their mistress, and
+the stars went out with a horrible stench. This is one of his creations,
+the most ingenious, though a failure. Jove made it a present to Pluto,
+who is quite proud of having a sun and stars of his own, and reckons it
+among the choice treasures of his kingdoms.’
+
+‘Poor Saturn! I pity him; he meant well.’ ‘Very true. He is the paviour
+of the high-street of Hades. But we cannot afford kings, and especially
+Gods, to be philosophers. The certainty of misrule is better than the
+chance of good government; uncertainty makes people restless.’
+
+‘I feel very restless myself; I wish we were in Elysium!’
+
+‘The river again narrows!’ exclaimed Manto. ‘There is no other portal
+to pass. The Saturnian moon and stars grow fainter, there is a grey tint
+expanding in the distance; ‘tis the realm of Twilight; your Majesty will
+soon disembark.’
+
+
+
+
+PART III.
+
+     _Containing an Account of Tiresias at His Rubber_
+
+TRAVELLERS who have left their homes generally grow mournful as the
+evening draws on; nor is there, perhaps, any time at which the pensive
+influence of twilight is more predominant than on the eve that follows a
+separation from those we love. Imagine, then, the feelings of the Queen
+of Hell, as her barque entered the very region of that mystic light,
+and the shadowy shores of the realm of Twilight opened before her. Her
+thoughts reverted to Pluto; and she mused over all his fondness, all his
+adoration, and all his indulgence, and the infinite solicitude of his
+affectionate heart, until the tears trickled down her beautiful cheeks,
+and she marvelled she ever could have quitted the arms of her lover.
+
+‘Your Majesty,’ observed Manto, who had been whispering to Tiresias,
+‘feels, perhaps, a little wearied?’
+
+‘By no means, my kind Manto,’ replied Proserpine, starting from her
+reverie. ‘But the truth is, my spirits are unequal; and though I
+really cannot well fix upon the cause of their present depression, I am
+apparently not free from the contagion of the surrounding gloom.’
+
+‘It is the evening air,’ said Tiresias. ‘Your Majesty had perhaps better
+re-enter the pavilion of the yacht. As for myself, I never venture about
+after sunset. One grows romantic. Night was evidently made for in-door
+nature. I propose a rubber.’
+
+To this popular suggestion Proserpine was pleased to accede, and herself
+and Tiresias, Manto and the captain of the yacht, were soon engaged at
+the proposed amusement.
+
+Tiresias loved a rubber. It was true he was blind, but then, being a
+prophet, that did not signify. Tiresias, I say, loved a rubber, and
+was a first-rate player, though, perhaps, given a little too much to
+_finesse_. Indeed, he so much enjoyed taking in his fellow-creatures,
+that he sometimes could not resist deceiving his own partner. Whist is
+a game which requires no ordinary combination of qualities; at the same
+time, memory and invention, a daring fancy, and a cool head. To a mind
+like that of Tiresias, a pack of cards was full of human nature. A
+rubber was a microcosm; and he ruffed his adversary’s king, or brought
+in a long suit of his own with as much dexterity and as much enjoyment
+as, in the real business of existence, he dethroned a monarch, or
+introduced a dynasty.
+
+‘Will your Majesty be pleased to draw your card?’ requested the sage.
+‘If I might venture to offer your Majesty a hint, I would dare to
+recommend your Majesty not to play before your turn. My friends are
+fond of ascribing my success in my various missions to the possession of
+peculiar qualities. No such thing: I owe everything to the simple habit
+of always waiting till it is my turn to speak. And believe me, that he
+who plays before his turn at whist, commits as great a blunder as he who
+speaks before his turn during a negotiation.’
+
+‘The trick, and two by honours,’ said Proserpine. ‘Pray, my dear
+Tiresias, you who are such a fine player, how came you to trump my best
+card?’
+
+‘Because I wanted the lead. And those who want to lead, please your
+Majesty, must never hesitate about sacrificing their friends.’
+
+‘I believe you speak truly. I was right in playing that thirteenth
+card?’
+
+‘Quite so. Above all things, I love a thirteenth card. I send it forth,
+like a mock project in a revolution, to try the strength of parties.’
+
+‘You should not have forced me, Lady Manto,’ said the Captain of the
+yacht, in a grumbling tone, to his partner. ‘By weakening me, you
+prevented me bringing in my spades. We might have made the game.’
+
+‘You should not have been forced,’ said Tiresias. ‘If she made a
+mistake, who was unacquainted with your plans, what a terrible blunder
+you committed to share her error without her ignorance!’
+
+‘What, then, was I to lose a trick?’
+
+‘Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity,’ replied Tiresias, ‘the
+most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage.’
+
+‘I have cut you an honour, sir,’ said Manto.
+
+‘Which reminds me,’ replied Tiresias, ‘that, in the last hand, your
+Majesty unfortunately forgot to lead through your adversary’s ace. I
+have often observed that nothing ever perplexes an adversary so much as
+an appeal to his honour.’
+
+‘I will not forget to follow your advice,’ said the Captain of the
+yacht, playing accordingly.
+
+‘By which you have lost the game,’ quietly remarked Tiresias. ‘There are
+exceptions to all rules, but it seldom answers to follow the advice of
+an opponent.’
+
+‘Confusion!’ exclaimed the Captain of the yacht.
+
+‘Four by honours, and the trick, I declare,’ said Proserpine. ‘I was so
+glad to see you turn up the queen, Tiresias.’
+
+‘I also, madam. Without doubt there are few cards better than her royal
+consort, or, still more, the imperial ace. Nevertheless, I must confess,
+I am perfectly satisfied whenever I remember that I have the Queen on my
+side.’
+
+Proserpine bowed.
+
+‘I have a good mind to do it, Tiresias,’ said Queen Proserpine, as that
+worthy sage paid his compliments to her at her toilet, at an hour which
+should have been noon.
+
+‘It would be a great compliment,’ said Tiresias.
+
+‘And it is not much out of our way?’
+
+‘By no means,’ replied the seer. ‘‘Tis an agreeable half-way house. He
+lives in good style.’
+
+‘And whence can a dethroned monarch gain a revenue?’ inquired the Queen.
+
+‘Your Majesty, I see, is not at all learned in politics. A sovereign
+never knows what an easy income is till he has abdicated. He generally
+commences squabbling with his subjects about the supplies; he is then
+expelled, and voted, as compensation, an amount about double the sum
+which was the cause of the original quarrel.’
+
+‘What do you think, Manto?’ said Proserpine, as that lady entered the
+cabin; ‘we propose paying a visit to Saturn. He has fixed his residence,
+you know, in these regions of twilight.’
+
+‘I love a junket,’ replied Manto, ‘above all things. And, indeed, I was
+half frightened out of my wits at the bare idea of toiling over this
+desert. All is prepared, please your Majesty, for our landing. Your
+Majesty’s litter is quite ready.’
+
+‘‘Tis well,’ said Proserpine; and leaning on the arm of Manto, the Queen
+came upon deck, and surveyed the surrounding country, a vast grey flat,
+with a cloudless sky of the same tint: in the distance some lowering
+shadows, which seemed like clouds but were in fact mountains.
+
+‘Some half-dozen hours,’ said Tiresias, ‘will bring us to the palace
+of Saturn. We shall arrive for dinner; the right hour. Let me recommend
+your Majesty to order the curtains of your litter to be drawn, and, if
+possible, to resume your dreams.’
+
+‘They were not pleasant,’ said Proserpine, ‘I dreamt of my mother and
+the Parcae. Manto, methinks I’ll read. Hast thou some book?’
+
+‘Here is a poem, Madam, but I fear it may induce those very slumbers you
+dread.’
+
+‘How call you it?’
+
+‘“The Pleasures of Oblivion.” The poet apparently is fond of his
+subject.’
+
+‘And is, I have no doubt, equal to it. Hast any prose?’
+
+‘An historical novel or so.’
+
+‘Oh! if you mean those things as full of costume as a fancy ball, and
+almost as devoid of sense, I’ll have none of them. Close the curtains;
+even visions of the Furies are preferable to these insipidities.’
+
+The halt of the litter roused the Queen from her slumbers. ‘We have
+arrived,’ said Manto, as she assisted in withdrawing the curtains.
+
+The train had halted before a vast propylon of rose-coloured granite.
+The gate was nearly two hundred feet in height, and the sides of the
+propylon, which rose like huge moles, were sculptured with colossal
+figures of a threatening aspect. Passing through the propylon, the
+Queen of Hell and her attendants entered an avenue in length about
+three-quarters of a mile, formed of colossal figures of the same
+character and substance, alternately raising in their arms javelins or
+battle-axes, as if about to strike. At the end of this heroic avenue
+appeared the palace of Saturn. Ascending a hundred steps of black
+marble, you stood before a portico supported by twenty columns of the
+same material and shading a single portal of bronze. Apparently the
+palace formed an immense quadrangle; a vast tower rising from each
+corner, and springing from the centre a huge and hooded dome. A crowd of
+attendants, in grey and sad-coloured raiment, issued from the portal
+of the palace at the approach of Proserpine, who remarked with strange
+surprise their singular countenances and demeanour; for rare in this
+silent assemblage was any visage resembling aught she had seen, human
+or divine. Some bore the heads of bats; of owls and beetles others;
+some fluttered moth-like wings, while the shoulders of other bipeds were
+surmounted, in spite of their human organisation, with the heads of rats
+and weasels, of marten-cats and of foxes. But they were all remarkably
+civil; and Proserpine, who was now used to wonders, did not shriek at
+all, and scarcely shuddered.
+
+The Queen of Hell was ushered through a superb hall, and down a splendid
+gallery, to a suite of apartments where a body of damsels of a most
+distinguished appearance awaited her. Their heads resembled those of the
+most eagerly-sought, highly-prized, and oftenest-stolen lap-dogs.
+Upon the shoulders of one was the visage of the smallest and most
+thorough-bred little Blenheim in the world. Upon her front was a white
+star, her nose was nearly flat, and her ears were tied under her chin,
+with the most jaunty air imaginable. She was an evident flirt; and a
+solemn prude of a spaniel, with a black and tan countenance, who seemed
+a sort of duenna, evidently watched her with no little distrust. The
+admirers of blonde beauties would, however, have fallen in love with
+a poodle, with the finest head of hair imaginable, and most voluptuous
+shoulders. This brilliant band began barking in the most insinuating
+tone on the appearance of the Queen; and Manto, who was almost as
+dexterous a linguist as Tiresias himself, informed her Majesty that
+these were the ladies of her bed-chamber; upon which Proserpine, who, it
+will be remembered had no passion for dogs, ordered them immediately out
+of her room.
+
+‘What a droll place!’ exclaimed the Queen. ‘Do you know, we are later
+than I imagined? A hasty toilet to-day; I long to see Saturn. It is
+droll, I am hungry. My purple velvet, I think; it may be considered a
+compliment. No diamonds, only jet; a pearl or two, perhaps. Didst ever
+see the King?
+
+They say he is gentlemanlike, though a bigot. No! no rouge to-day; this
+paleness is quite _apropos_. Were I as radiant as usual, I should be
+taken for Aurora.’
+
+So leaning on Manto, and preceded by the ladies of her bed-chamber,
+whom, notwithstanding their repulse, she found in due attendance in the
+antechamber, Proserpine again continued her progress down the gallery,
+until they stopped at a door, which opening, she was ushered into the
+grand circular saloon, crowned by the dome, whose exterior the Queen had
+already observed. The interior of this apartment was entirely of black
+and grey marble, with the exception of the dome itself, which was of
+ebony, richly carved and supported by more than a hundred columns. There
+depended from the centre of the arch a single chandelier of frosted
+silver, which was itself as big as an ordinary chamber, but of the
+most elegant form, and delicate and fantastic workmanship. As the Queen
+entered the saloon, a personage of venerable appearance, dressed in a
+suit of black velvet, and leaning on an ivory cane, advanced to salute
+her. There was no mistaking this personage; his manners were at once so
+courteous and so dignified. He was clearly their host; and Proserpine,
+who was quite charmed with his grey locks and his black velvet cap, his
+truly paternal air, and the beneficence of his unstudied smile, could
+scarcely refrain from bending her knee, and pressing her lips to his
+extended hand.
+
+‘I am proud that your Majesty has remembered me in my retirement,’ said
+Saturn, as he led Proserpine to a seat.
+
+Their mutual compliments were soon disturbed by the announcement
+of dinner, and Saturn offering his arm to the Queen with an air of
+politeness which belonged to the old school, but which the ladies admire
+in old men, handed Proserpine to the banqueting-room. They were followed
+by some of the principal personages of her Majesty’s suite, and a couple
+of young Titans, who enjoyed the posts of aides-de-camp to the ex-King,
+and whose duties consisted of carving at dinner.
+
+It was a most agreeable dinner, and Proserpine was delighted with
+Saturn, who, of course, sat by her side, and paid her every possible
+attention. Saturn, whose manners, as has been observed, were of the old
+school, loved a good story, and told several. His anecdotes, especially
+of society previous to the Trojan war, were highly interesting. There
+ran through all his behaviour, too, a tone of high breeding and of
+consideration for others which was really charming; and Proserpine, who
+had expected to find in her host a gloomy bigot, was quite surprised
+at the truly liberal spirit with which he seemed to consider affairs in
+general. Indeed this unexpected tone made so great an impression upon
+her, that finding a good opportunity after dinner, when they were
+sipping their coffee apart from the rest of the company, she could not
+refrain from entering into some conversation with the ex-King upon the
+subject, and the conversation ran thus:
+
+‘Do you know,’ said Proserpine, ‘that much as I have been pleased
+and surprised during my visit to the realms of twilight, nothing has
+pleased, and I am sure nothing has surprised me more, than to observe
+the remarkably liberal spirit in which your Majesty views the affairs of
+the day.’
+
+‘You give me a title, beautiful Proserpine, to which I have no claim,’
+replied Saturn. ‘You forget that I am now only Count Hesperus; I am no
+longer a king, and believe me, I am very glad of it.’
+
+‘What a pity, my dear sir, that you would not condescend to conform to
+the spirit of the age. For myself, I am quite a reformer.’
+
+‘So I have understood, beautiful Proserpine, which I confess has a
+little surprised me; for to tell you the truth, I do not consider that
+reform is exactly _our_ trade.’
+
+‘Affairs cannot go on as they used,’ observed Proserpine, oracularly;
+‘we must bow to the spirit of the age.’
+
+‘And what is that?’ inquired Saturn.
+
+‘I do not exactly know,’ replied Proserpine, ‘but one hears of it
+everywhere.’
+
+‘I also heard of it a great deal,’ replied Saturn, ‘and was also
+recommended to conform to it. Before doing so, however, I thought it as
+well to ascertain its nature, and something also of its strength.’
+
+‘It is terribly strong,’ observed Proserpine.
+
+‘But you think it will be stronger?’ inquired the ex-King.
+
+‘Certainly; every day it is more powerful.’
+
+‘Then if, on consideration, we were to deem resistance to it advisable,
+it is surely better to commence the contest at once than to postpone the
+struggle.’
+
+‘It is useless to talk of resisting; one must conform.’
+
+‘I certainly should consider resistance useless,’ replied Saturn, ‘for I
+tried it and failed; but at least one has a chance of success; and yet,
+having resisted this spirit and failed, I should not consider myself
+in a worse plight than you would voluntarily place yourself in by
+conforming to it.’
+
+‘You speak riddles,’ said Proserpine.
+
+‘To be plain, then,’ replied Saturn, ‘I think you may as well at once
+give up your throne, as conform to this spirit.’
+
+‘And why so?’ inquired Proserpine very ingenuously.’
+
+‘Because,’ replied Saturn, shrugging up his shoulders, ‘I look upon the
+spirit of the age as a spirit hostile to Kings and gods.’
+
+The next morning Saturn himself attended his beautiful guest over his
+residence, which Proserpine greatly admired.
+
+‘‘Tis the work of the Titans,’ replied the ex-King. ‘There never was a
+party so fond of building palaces.’
+
+‘To speak the truth,’ said Proserpine, ‘I am a little disappointed that
+I have not had an opportunity, during my visit, of becoming acquainted
+with some of the chiefs of that celebrated party; for, although a
+Liberal, I am a female one, and I like to know every sort of person who
+is distinguished.’
+
+‘The fact is,’ replied her host, ‘that the party has never recovered
+from the thunderbolt of that scheming knave Jupiter, and do not bear
+their defeat so philosophically as years, perhaps, permit me to do. If
+we have been vanquished by the spirit of the age,’ continued Saturn,
+‘you must confess that, in our case, the conqueror did not assume a
+material form very remarkable for its dignity. Had Creation resolved
+itself into its original elements, had Chaos come again, or even old
+Coelus, the indignity might have been endured; but to be baffled by
+an Olympian _juste milieu_, and to find, after all the clamour, that
+nothing has been changed save the places, is, you will own, somewhat
+mortifying.’
+
+‘But how do you reconcile,’ inquired the ingenuous Proserpine, ‘the
+success of Jupiter with the character which you ascribed last night to
+the spirit of the age?’
+
+‘Why, in truth,’ said Saturn, ‘had I not entirely freed myself from all
+party feeling, I might adduce the success of my perfidious and worthless
+relative as very good demonstration that the spirit of the age
+is nothing better than an _ignis fatuus_. Nevertheless, we must
+discriminate. Even the success of Jupiter, although he now conducts
+himself in direct opposition to the emancipating principles he at
+first professed, is no less good evidence of their force; for by his
+professions he rose. And, for my part, I consider it a great homage to
+public opinion to find every scoundrel now-a-days professing himself a
+Liberal.’
+
+‘You are candid;’ said Proserpine. ‘I should like very much to see the
+Titans.’
+
+‘My friends are at least consistent,’ observed Saturn; ‘though certainly
+at present I can say little more for them. Between the despair of one
+section of the party, and the over-sanguine expectations of the other,
+they are at present quite inactive, or move only to ensure fresh
+rebuffs.’
+
+‘You see little of them, then?’
+
+‘They keep to themselves: they generally frequent a lonely vale in the
+neighbourhood.’
+
+‘I should so like to see them!’ exclaimed Proserpine.
+
+‘Say nothing to Tiresias,’ said old Saturn, who was half in love with
+his fair friend, ‘and we will steal upon them unperceived.’ So saying,
+the god struck the earth with his cane, and there instantly sprang forth
+a convenient car, built of curiously carved cedar, and borne by four
+enormous tawny-coloured owls. Seating himself by the side of the
+delighted Proserpine, Saturn commanded the owls to bear them to the
+Valley of Lamentations.
+
+‘Twas an easy fly: the chariot soon descended upon the crest of a hill:
+and Saturn and Proserpine, leaving the car, commenced, by a winding
+path, the slight ascent of a superior elevation. Having arrived there,
+they looked down upon a valley, apparently land-locked by black and
+barren mountains of the most strange, although picturesque forms. In the
+centre of the valley was a black pool or tarn, bordered with dark purple
+flags of an immense size, twining and twisting among which might be
+observed the glancing and gliding folds of several white serpents; while
+crocodiles and alligators, and other horrible forms, poked their foul
+snouts with evident delight in a vast mass of black slime, which had,
+at various times, exuded from the lake. A single tree only was to be
+observed in this desolate place, an enormous and blasted cedar, with
+scarcely a patch of verdure, but extending its black and barren branches
+nearly across the valley. Seated on a loosened crag, but leaning against
+the trunk of the cedar, with his arms folded, his mighty eyes fixed on
+the ground, and his legs crossed with that air of complete repose which
+indicates that their owner is in no hurry again to move them, was
+
+     ‘A form, some granite god we deemed,
+     Or king of palmy Nile, colossal shapes
+     Such as Syene’s rosy quarries yield
+     To Memphian art; Horus, Osiris called,
+     Or Amenoph, who, on the Theban plain,
+     With magic melody the sun salutes;
+     Or he, far mightier, to whose conquering car
+     Monarchs were yoked, Rameses: by the Greeks
+     Sesostris styled.    And yet no sculptor’s art
+     Moulded this shape, for form it seemed of flesh,
+     Yet motionless; its dim unlustrous orbs
+     Gazing in stilly vacancy, its cheek
+     Grey  as its hairs, which, thin as they might seem,
+     No breath disturbed; a solemn countenance,
+     Not sorrowful, though full of woe sublime,
+     As if despair were now a distant dream
+     Too dim for memory.’
+
+‘‘Tis their great leader,’ said Saturn, as he pointed out the Titan to
+Proserpine, ‘the giant Enceladus. He got us into all our scrapes, but I
+must do him the justice to add, that he is the only one who can ever get
+us out of them. They say he has no heart; but I think his hook nose is
+rather fine.’
+
+‘Superb!’ said Proserpine. ‘And who is that radiant and golden-haired
+youth who is seated at his feet?’
+
+‘‘Tis no less a personage than Hyperion himself,’ replied Saturn, ‘the
+favourite counsellor of Enceladus. He is a fine orator, and makes up by
+his round sentences and choice phrases for the rhetorical deficiencies
+of his chief, who, to speak the truth, is somewhat curt and husky. They
+have enough now to do to manage their comrades and keep a semblance of
+discipline in their routed ranks. Mark that ferocious Briareus there
+scowling in a corner! Didst ever see such a moustache! He glances,
+methinks, with an evil eye on the mighty Enceladus; and, let me tell
+you, Briareus has a great following among them; so they say of him you
+know, that he hath fifty heads and a hundred arms. See! how they gather
+around him.’
+
+‘Who speaks now to Briareus?’ ‘The young and valiant Mimas. Be assured
+he is counselling war. We shall have a debate now.’
+
+‘Yon venerable personage, who is seated by the margin of the pool, and
+weeping with the crocodiles------’
+
+‘Is old Oceanus.’
+
+‘He is apparently much affected by his overthrow.’ ‘It is his wont to
+weep. He used to cry when he fought, and yet he was a powerful warrior.’
+‘Hark!’ said Proserpine.
+
+The awful voice of Briareus broke the silence. What a terrible personage
+was Briareus! His wild locks hung loose about his shoulders, and blended
+with his unshorn beard.
+
+‘Titans!’ shouted the voice which made many a heart tremble, and the
+breathless Proserpine clasp the arm of Saturn. ‘Titans! Is that spirit
+dead that once heaped Ossa upon Pelion? Is it forgotten, even by
+ourselves, that a younger born revels in our heritage? Are these forms
+that surround me, indeed, the shapes at whose dread sight the base
+Olympians fled to their fitting earth? Warriors, whose weapons were the
+rocks, whose firebrands were the burning woods, is the day forgotten
+when Jove himself turned craven, and skulked in Egypt? At least my
+memory is keen enough to support my courage, and whatever the dread
+Enceladus may counsel, my voice is still for war!’
+
+There ensued, after this harangue of Briareus, a profound and thrilling
+silence, which was, however, broken in due time by the great leader of
+the Titans himself.
+
+‘You mouth it well, Briareus,’ replied Enceladus calmly. ‘And if great
+words would re-seat us in Olympus, doubtless, with your potent aid,
+we might succeed. It never should be forgotten, however, that had we
+combined at first, in the spirit now recommended, the Olympians would
+never have triumphed; and least of all our party should Briareus and his
+friends forget the reasons of our disunion.’
+
+‘I take thy sneer, Enceladus,’ said the young and chivalric Mimas, ‘and
+throw it in thy teeth. This learn, then, from Briareus and his friends,
+that if we were lukewarm in the hour of peril, the fault lies not to
+our account, but with those who had previously so conducted themselves,
+that, when the danger arrived, it was impossible for us to distinguish
+between our friends and our foes. Enceladus apparently forgets that had
+the Olympians never been permitted to enter Heaven, it would have been
+unnecessary ever to have combined against their machinations.’
+
+‘Recrimination is useless,’ said a Titan, interposing. ‘I was one of
+those who supported Enceladus in the admission of the Olympians above,
+and I regret it. But at the time, like others, I believed it to be the
+only mode of silencing the agitation of Jupiter.’
+
+‘I separated from Enceladus on that question,’ said a huge Titan, lying
+his length on the ground and leaning one arm on a granite crag; ‘but
+I am willing to forget all our differences and support him with all
+my heart and strength in another effort to restore our glorious
+constitution.’
+
+‘Titans,’ said Enceladus, ‘who is there among you who has found me a
+laggard in the day of battle?’
+
+When the Olympians, as Briareus thinks it necessary to remind you,
+fled, I was your leader. Remember, however, then, that there were no
+thunderbolts. As for myself, I candidly confess to you, that, since the
+invention of these weapons by Jove, I do not see how war can be carried
+on by us any longer with effect.’
+
+‘By the memory of old Coelus and these fast-flowing tears,’ murmured the
+venerable Oceanus, patting at the same time a crocodile on the back,
+‘I call you all to witness that I have no interest to deceive you.
+Nevertheless, we should not forget that, in this affair of the
+thunderbolts, it is the universal opinion that there is a very
+considerable reaction. I have myself, only within these few days,
+received authentic information that several have fallen of late without
+any visible ill effects; and I am credibly assured that, during the late
+storm in Thessaly, a thunderbolt was precipitated into the centre of a
+vineyard, without affecting the flavour of a single grape.’
+
+Here several of the Titans, who had gathered round Enceladus, shook
+their heads and shrugged their shoulders, and a long and desultory
+conversation ensued upon the copious and very controversial subject of
+Re-action. In the meantime Rhoetus, a young Titan, whispered to one of
+his companions, that for his part he was convinced that the only way
+to beat the Olympians was to turn them into ridicule; and that he would
+accordingly commence at once with the pasquinade on the private life of
+Jupiter, and some peculiarly delicate criticisms on the characters of
+the goddesses.
+
+
+
+
+PART IV.
+
+     _Containing the First View of Elysium_
+
+THE toilsome desert was at length passed, and the royal cavalcade
+ascended the last chasm of mountains that divided Elysium, or the
+Regions of Bliss, from the Realm of Twilight. As she quitted those
+dim and dreary plains, the spirit of Proserpine grew lighter, and she
+indulged in silent but agreeable anticipations of the scene which she
+was now approaching. On reaching, however, the summit of the mountainous
+chain, and proceeding a short distance over the rugged table-land into
+which it now declined, her Majesty was rather alarmed at perceiving that
+her progress was impeded by a shower of flame that extended, on either
+side, as far as the eye could reach. Her alarm, however, was of short
+continuance; for, on the production of his talisman by Tiresias, the
+shower of flame instantly changed into silvery drops of rose-water and
+other delicious perfumes. Amid joyous peals of laughter, and some
+slight playful screams on the part of the ladies, the cavalcade ventured
+through the ordeal. Now the effect of this magical bath was quite
+marvellous. A burthen seemed suddenly to have been removed from the
+spirits of the whole party; their very existence seemed renewed; the
+blood danced about their veins in the liveliest manner imaginable; and
+a wild but pleasing titillation ran like lightning through their nerves,
+their countenances sparkled with excitement; and they all talked at the
+same time. Proserpine was so occupied with her own sensations, that she
+did not immediately remark the extraordinary change that had occurred
+in the appearance of the country immediately on passing this magical
+barrier. She perceived that their course now led over the most elastic
+and carefully-shaven turf; groups of beautiful shrubs occasionally
+appeared, and she discovered with delight that their flowers constantly
+opened, and sent forth from their bells diminutive birds of radiant
+plumage. Above them, too, the clouds vanished, and her head was canopied
+by a sky, unlike, indeed, all things and tints of earth, but which
+reminded her, in some degree, of the splendour of Olympus.
+
+Proserpine, restless with delight, quitted her litter, and followed by
+Manto, ran forward to catch the first view of Elysium.
+
+‘I am quite out of breath,’ said her Majesty, ‘and really must sit down
+on this bank of violets. Was ever anything in the world so delightful?
+Why, Olympus is nothing to it! And after Tartarus, too, and that poor
+unhappy Saturn, and his Titans and his twilight, it really is too much
+for me. How I do long for the view! and yet, somehow or other, my heart
+beats so I cannot walk.’
+
+‘Will your Majesty re-ascend your litter?’ suggested Manto.
+
+‘Oh, no! that is worse than anything. They are a mile behind; they are
+so slow. Why, Manto! what is this?’
+
+A beautiful white dove hovered in the air over the head of Proserpine
+and her attendant, and then dropping an olive branch into the lap of the
+Queen, flapped its wings and whirled away. But what an olive branch!
+the stem was of agate; each leaf was an emerald; and on the largest, in
+letters of brilliants, was this inscription:
+
+     _The Elysians to Their Beautiful Queen_
+
+‘Oh, is it not superb?’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘What charming people,
+and what excellent subjects! What loyalty and what taste!’
+
+So saying, the enraptured Proserpine rose from the bank of violets, and
+had scarcely run forwards fifty yards when she suddenly stopped, and
+started with an exclamation of wonder. The table-land had ceased. She
+stood upon a precipice of white marble, in many parts clothed with
+thick bowers of myrtle; before her extended the wide-spreading plains of
+Elysium. They were bounded upon all sides by gentle elevations entirely
+covered with flowers, and occasionally shooting forward into the
+champaign country; behind these appeared a range of mountains clothed
+with bright green forests, and still loftier heights behind them,
+exhibiting, indeed, only bare and sharply-pointed peaks glittering with
+prismatic light. The undulating plain was studded in all directions with
+pavilions and pleasure-houses, and groves and gardens glowing with the
+choicest and most charming fruit; and a broad blue river wound through
+it, covered with brilliant boats, the waters flashing with phosphoric
+light as they were cut by the swift and gliding keels. And in the centre
+of the plain rose a city, a mighty group of all that was beautiful in
+form and costly in materials, bridges and palaces and triumphal gates of
+cedar and of marble, columns and minarets of gold, and cupolas and domes
+of ivory; and ever and anon appeared delicious gardens, raised on the
+terraces of the houses; and groups of palm trees with their tall, thin
+stems, and quivering and languid crests, rose amid the splendid masonry.
+A sweet soft breeze touched the cheek of the entranced Proserpine, and a
+single star of silver light glittered in the rosy sky.
+
+‘‘Tis my favourite hour,’ exclaimed Proserpine. ‘Thus have I gazed upon
+Hesperus in the meads of Enna! What a scene! How fortunate that we
+should have arrived at sunset!’
+
+‘Ah, Madam!’ observed Manto, ‘in Elysium the sky is ever thus. For the
+Elysians, the sun seems always to have just set!’
+
+‘Fortunate people!’ replied Proserpine. ‘In them, immortality and
+enjoyment seem indeed blended together. A strange feeling, half of
+languor, half of voluptuousness, steals over my senses! It seems that
+I at length behold the region of my girlish dreams. Such once I fancied
+Olympus. Ah! why does not my Pluto live in Elysium?’
+
+The Elysians consisted of a few thousand beatified mortals, the only
+occupation of whose existence was enjoyment; the rest of the population
+comprised some millions of Gnomes and Sylphs, who did nothing but work,
+and ensured by their labour the felicity of the superior class. Every
+Elysian, male or female, possessed a magnificent palace in the city,
+and an elegant pavilion on the plain; these, with a due proportion of
+chariots, horses, and slaves, constituted a proper establishment. The
+Sylphs and the Gnomes were either scattered about the country, which
+they cultivated, or lived in the city, where they kept shops, and where
+they emulated each other in displaying the most ingenious articles
+of luxury and convenience for the enjoyment and accommodation of the
+Elysians. The townspeople, indeed, rather affected to look down upon
+the more simple-minded agriculturists; but if these occasionally felt a
+little mortification in consequence, they might have been consoled, had
+they been aware that their brethren and sisters who were in the service
+of the Elysians avenged their insults, for these latter were the finest
+Gnomes and Sylphs imaginable, and scarcely deigned to notice any one who
+was in trade. Whether there were any coin or other circulating medium
+current in Elysium is a point respecting which I must confess I have not
+sufficient information to decide; but if so, it certainly would appear
+that all money transactions were confined to the Gnomes and the Sylphs,
+for the Elysians certainly never paid for anything. Perhaps this
+exemption might have been among their peculiar privileges, and was a
+substitute for what we call credit, a convenience of which the ancients
+appear to have had a limited conception. The invention, by Jupiter, of
+an aristocratic immortality, as a reward for a well-spent life on earth,
+appears to have been an ingenious idea. It really is a reward, very
+stimulative of good conduct before we shuffle off the mortal coil, and
+remarkably contrasts with the democracy of the damned. The Elysians,
+with a splendid climate, a teeming soil, and a nation made on purpose
+to wait upon them, of course enjoyed themselves very much. The arts
+flourished, the theatres paid, and they had a much finer opera than at
+Ephesus or at Halicarnassus. Their cookery was so refined, that one of
+the least sentimental ceremonies in the world was not only deprived of
+all its grossness, but was actually converted into an elegant amusement,
+and so famous that their artists were even required at Olympus. If their
+dinners were admirable, which is rare, their assemblies were amusing,
+which is still more uncommon. All the arts of society were carried to
+perfection in Elysium; a dull thing was never said, and an awkward thing
+never done. The Elysians, indeed, being highly refined and gifted, for
+they comprised in their order the very cream of terrestrial society,
+were naturally a liberal-minded race of nobles, and capable of
+appreciating every kind of excellence. If a Gnome or a Sylph, therefore,
+in any way distinguished themselves; if they sang very well, or acted
+very well, or if they were at all eminent for any of the other arts of
+amusement, ay! indeed if the poor devils could do nothing better than
+write a poem or a novel, they were sure to be noticed by the Elysians,
+who always bowed to them as they passed by, and sometimes indeed even
+admitted them into their circles.
+
+Scarcely had the train of Proserpine rejoined her on the brink of the
+precipice, than they heard the flourish of trumpets near at hand, soon
+followed by a complete harmony of many instruments. A chorus of sweet
+voices was next distinguished, growing each instant more loud and clear;
+and in a few minutes, issuing from a neighbouring grove, came forth
+a band of heroes and beautiful women, dressed in dazzling raiment,
+to greet the Queen. A troop of chariots of light and airy workmanship
+followed, and a crowd of Gnomes and Sylphs singing and playing on
+various instruments, and dancing with gestures of grace and delicacy.
+Congratulating the Queen on her arrival in Elysium, and requesting the
+honour of being permitted to attend her to her palace, they ushered
+Proserpine and her companions to the chariots, and soon, winding down a
+gradual declivity, they entered the plain.
+
+If a bird’s-eye view of the capital had enchanted Proserpine, the
+agreeable impression was not diminished, as is generally the case, by
+her entrance into the city. Never were so much splendour and neatness
+before combined. Passing through a magnificent arch, Proserpine entered
+a street of vast and beautiful proportions, lined on each side with
+palaces of various architecture, painted admirably in fresco, and richly
+gilt. The road was formed of pounded marbles of various colours, laid
+down in fanciful patterns, and forming an unrivalled mosaic; it was
+bounded on each side by a broad causeway of jasper, of a remarkably
+bright green, clouded with milk-white streaks. This street led to a
+sumptuous square, forming alone the palace destined for Proserpine.
+Its several fronts were supported and adorned by ten thousand columns,
+imitating the palm and the lotus; nor is it possible to conceive
+anything more light and graceful than the general effect of this
+stupendous building. Each front was crowned with an immense dome of
+alabaster, so transparent, that when the palace was illuminated the rosy
+heaven grew pale, and an effect similar to moonlight was diffused over
+the canopy of Elysium. And in the centre of the square a Leviathan,
+carved in white coral, and apparently flouncing in a huge basin of rock
+crystal, spouted forth from his gills a fountain twelve hundred feet in
+height; from one gill ascended a stream of delicious wine, which might
+be tempered, if necessary, by the iced water that issued from the other.
+
+At the approach of the Queen, the gigantic gates of the palace,
+framed of carved cedar, flew open with a thrilling burst of music, and
+Proserpine found herself in a hall wherein several hundred persons, who
+formed her household, knelt in stillness before her. Wearied with her
+long journey, and all the excitement of the day, Proserpine signified to
+one of the Elysians in attendance her desire for refreshment and
+repose. Immediately the household rose, and gracefully bowing retired in
+silence, while four ladies of the bed-chamber, very different from the
+dogfaced damsels of the realm of Twilight, advanced with a gracious
+smile, and each pressing a white hand to her heart, invited her Majesty
+to accompany them. Twelve beautiful pages in fanciful costume, and each
+bearing a torch of cinnamon, preceded them, and Proserpine ascended
+a staircase of turquoise and silver. As she passed along, she caught
+glimpses of costly galleries, and suites of gorgeous chambers, but she
+was almost too fatigued to distinguish anything. A confused vision of
+long lines of white columns, roofs of carved cedar, or ceilings glowing
+with forms of exquisite beauty, walls covered with lifelike tapestry,
+or reflecting in their mighty mirrors her own hurrying figure, and her
+picturesque attendants, alone remained. She rejoiced when she at length
+arrived in a small chamber, in which preparations evidently denoted
+that it was intended she should rest. It was a pretty little saloon,
+brilliantly illuminated, and hung with tapestry depicting a party of
+nymphs and shepherds feasting in an Arcadian scene. In the middle of the
+chamber a banquet was prepared, and as Proserpine seated herself, and
+partook of some of the delicacies which a page immediately presented to
+her, there arose, from invisible musicians, a joyous and festive strain,
+which accompanied her throughout her repast. When her Majesty had
+sufficiently refreshed herself, and as the banquet was removing, the
+music assumed a softer and more subduing, occasionally even a solemn
+tone; the tapestry, slowly shifting, at length represented the same
+characters sunk in repose; the attendants all this time gradually
+extinguishing the lights, and stealing on tiptoe from the chamber. So
+that, at last, the music, each moment growing fainter, entirely ceased;
+the figures on the tapestry were scarcely perceptible by the dim lustre
+of a single remaining lamp; and the slumbering Proserpine fell back upon
+her couch.
+
+But the Queen of Hell was not destined to undisturbed repose. A dream
+descended on her brain, and the dream was terrible and strange. She
+beheld herself a child, playing, as was her wont, in the gardens of
+Enna, twining garlands of roses, and chasing butterflies. Suddenly, from
+a bosky thicket of myrtle, slowly issued forth an immense serpent, dark
+as night, but with eyes of the most brilliant tint, and approached the
+daughter of Ceres. The innocent child, ignorant of evil, beheld the
+monster without alarm. Not only did she neither fly nor shriek, but she
+even welcomed and caressed the frightful stranger, patted its voluminous
+back, and admired its sparkling vision. The serpent, fascinated instead
+of fascinating, licked her feet with his arrowy tongue, and glided about
+for her diversion in a thousand shapes. Emboldened by its gentleness,
+the little Proserpine at length even mounted on its back, and rode in
+triumph among her bowers. Every day the dark serpent issued from the
+thicket, and every day he found a welcome playmate. Now it come to
+pass that one day the serpent, growing more bold, induced the young
+Proserpine to extend her ride beyond the limits of Enna. Night came on,
+and as it was too late to return, the serpent carried her to a large
+cave, where it made for her a couch of leaves, and while she slept the
+affectionate monster kept guard for her protection at the mouth of the
+cavern. For some reason or other which was not apparent, for in dreams
+there are always some effects without causes, Proserpine never returned
+to Enna, but remained and resided with cheerfulness in this cavern. Each
+morning the serpent went forth alone to seek food for its charge,
+and regularly returned with a bough in its mouth laden with delicious
+fruits. One day, during the absence of her guardian, a desire seized
+Proserpine to quit the cavern, and accordingly she went forth. The fresh
+air and fragrance of the earth were delightful to her, and she roamed
+about, unconscious of time, and thoughtless of her return. And as she
+sauntered along, singing to herself, a beautiful white dove, even
+the same dove that had welcomed her in the morning on the heights of
+Elysium, flew before her with its wings glancing in the sunshine. It
+seemed that the bird wished to attract the attention of the child, so
+long and so closely did it hover about her; now resting on a branch, as
+if inviting capture, and then skimming away only to return more swiftly;
+and occasionally, when for a moment unnoticed, even slightly flapping
+the rambler with its plume. At length the child was taken with a fancy
+to catch the bird. But no sooner had she evinced this desire, than the
+bird, once apparently so anxious to be noticed, seemed resolved to
+lead her a weary chase; and hours flew away ere Proserpine, panting and
+exhausted, had captured the beautiful rover and pressed it to her bosom.
+
+It was, indeed, a most beautiful bird, and its possession repaid her
+for all her exertions. But lo! as she stood, in a wild sylvan scene
+caressing it, smoothing its soft plumage, and pressing its head to her
+cheek, she beheld in the distance approaching her the serpent, and
+she beheld her old friend with alarm. Apparently her misgiving was
+not without cause. She observed in an instant that the appearance and
+demeanour of the serpent were greatly changed. It approached her swift
+as an arrow, its body rolling in the most agitated contortions, its jaws
+were distended as if to devour her, its eyes flashed fire, its tongue
+was a forked flame, and its hiss was like a stormy wind. Proserpine
+shrieked, and the Queen of Hell awoke from her dream.
+
+The next morning the Elysian world called to pay their respects to
+Proserpine. Her Majesty, indeed, held a drawing-room, which was
+fully and brilliantly attended. Her beauty and her graciousness were
+universally pronounced enchanting. From this moment the career of
+Proserpine was a series of magnificent entertainments. The principal
+Elysians vied with each other in the splendour and variety of the
+amusements, which they offered to the notice of their Queen. Operas,
+plays, balls, and banquets followed in dazzling succession. Proserpine,
+who was almost inexperienced in society, was quite fascinated. She
+regretted the years she had wasted in her Sicilian solitude; she
+marvelled that she ever could have looked forward with delight to a dull
+annual visit to Olympus; she almost regretted that, for the sake of an
+establishment, she could have been induced to cast her lot in the regal
+gloom of Tartarus. Elysium exactly suited her. The beauty of the climate
+and the country, the total absence of care, the constant presence of
+amusement, the luxury, gaiety, and refined enjoyment perfectly accorded
+with her amiable disposition, her lively fancy and her joyous temper.
+She drank deep and eagerly of the cup of pleasure. She entered into all
+the gay pursuits of her subjects; she even invented new combinations
+of diversion. Under her inspiring rule every one confessed that Elysium
+became every day more Elysian. The manners of her companions greatly
+pleased her. She loved those faces always wreathed with smiles, yet
+never bursting into laughter. She was charmed at the amiable tone in
+which they addressed each other. Never apparently were people at the
+same time so agreeable, so obliging, and so polished. For in all they
+said and did might be detected that peculiar air of high-breeding which
+pervades the whole conduct of existence with a certain indefinable
+spirit of calmness, so that your nerves are never shaken by too intense
+an emotion, which eventually produces a painful reaction. Whatever they
+did, the Elysians were careful never to be vehement; a grand passion,
+indeed, was unknown in these happy regions; love assumed the milder form
+of flirtation; and as for enmity, you were never abused except behind
+your back, or it exuded itself in an epigram, or, at the worst, a
+caricature scribbled upon a fan.
+
+There is one characteristic of the Elysians which, in justice to them, I
+ought not to have omitted. They were eminently a moral people. If a lady
+committed herself, she was lost for ever, and packed off immediately to
+the realm of Twilight. Indeed, they were so particular, that the moment
+one of the softer sex gave the slightest symptoms of preference to
+a fortunate admirer, the Elysian world immediately began to look
+unutterable things, shrug its moral shoulders, and elevate its
+charitable eyebrows. But if the preference, by any unlucky chance,
+assumed the nobler aspect of devotion, and the unhappy fair one gave any
+indication of really possessing a heart, rest assured she was already
+half way on the road to perdition. Then commenced one of the most
+curious processes imaginable, peculiar I apprehend to Elysium, but which
+I record that the society of less fortunate lands may avail itself of
+the advantage, and adopt the regulation in its moral police. Immediately
+that it was clearly ascertained that two persons of different sexes took
+an irrational interest in each other’s society, all the world instantly
+went about, actuated by a purely charitable sentiment, telling the most
+extraordinary falsehoods concerning them that they could devise. Thus it
+was the fashion to call at one house and announce that you had detected
+the unhappy pair in a private box at the theatre, and immediately to pay
+your respects at another mansion and declare that you had observed them
+on the very same day, and at the very same hour, in a boat on the river.
+At the next visit, the gentleman had been discovered driving her in his
+cab; and in the course of the morning the scene of indiscretion was the
+Park, where they had been watched walking by moonlight, muffled up in
+sables and cashmeres.
+
+This curious process of diffusing information was known in Elysium
+under the title of _‘being talked about;_’ and although the stories thus
+disseminated were universally understood to be fictions, the Elysians
+ascribed great virtue to the proceeding, maintaining that many an
+indiscreet fair one had been providentially alarmed by thus becoming the
+subject of universal conversation; that thus many a reputation had
+been saved by this charitable slander. There were some malignant
+philosophers, indeed, doubtless from that silly love of paradox in all
+ages too prevalent, who pretended that all this Elysian morality was one
+great delusion, and that this scrupulous anxiety about the conduct of
+others arose from a principle, not of _Purity_, but of _Corruption_.
+The woman who is ‘talked about,’ these sages would affirm, is generally
+virtuous, and she is only abused because she devotes to one the charms
+which all wish to enjoy.
+
+Thus Dido, who is really one of the finest creatures that ever existed,
+and who with a majestic beauty combines an heroic soul, has made her
+way with difficulty to the Elysian circle, to which her charms and
+rank entitle her; while Helen, who, from her very _debut_, has
+been surrounded by fifty lovers, and whose intrigues have ever been
+notorious, is the very queen of fashion; and all this merely because she
+has favoured fifty instead of one, and in the midst of all her scrapes
+has contrived to retain the countenance of her husband.
+
+Apropos of Dido, the Queen of Carthage was the person in all Elysium for
+whom Proserpine took the greatest liking. Exceedingly beautiful, with
+the most generous temper and the softest heart in the world, and blessed
+by nature with a graceful simplicity of manner, which fashion had
+never sullied, it really was impossible to gaze upon the extraordinary
+brilliancy of her radiant countenance, to watch the symmetry of her
+superb figure, and to listen to the artless yet lively observations
+uttered by a voice musical as a bell, without being fairly bewitched.
+
+When we first enter society, we are everywhere; yet there are few, I
+imagine, who, after a season, do not subside into a coterie. When the
+glare of saloons has ceased to dazzle, and we are wearied with the
+heartless notice of a crowd, we require refinement and sympathy. We find
+them, and we sink into a clique. And after all, can the river of life
+flow on more agreeably than in a sweet course of pleasure with those
+we love? To wander in the green shade of secret woods and whisper our
+affection; to float on the sunny waters of some gentle stream, and
+listen to a serenade; to canter with a light-hearted cavalcade over
+breezy downs, or cool our panting chargers in the summer stillness of
+winding and woody lanes; to banquet with the beautiful and the witty; to
+send care to the devil, and indulge the whim of the moment; the priest,
+the warrior and the statesman may frown and struggle as they like; but
+this is existence, and this, this is Elysium!
+
+So Proserpine deemed when, wearied with the monotony of the great
+world, she sought refuge in the society of Dido and Atalanta, Achilles,
+Amphion, and Patroclus or Memnon. When AEneas found that Dido had become
+fashionable, he made overtures for a reconciliation, but Dido treated
+him with calm contempt. The pious AEneas, indeed, was the aversion of
+Proserpine. He was the head of the Elysian saints, was president of a
+society to induce the Gnomes only to drink water, and was so horrified
+at the general conduct of the Elysians, that he questioned the decrees
+of Minos and Rhadamanthus, who had permitted them to enter the happy
+region so easily. The pious AEneas was of opinion that everybody ought to
+have been damned except himself. Proserpine gave him no encouragement.
+Achilles was the finest gentleman in Elysium. No one dressed or rode
+like him. He was very handsome, very witty, very unaffected, and had an
+excellent heart. Achilles was the leader of the Elysian youth, who were
+indeed devoted to him: Proserpine took care, therefore, that he should
+dangle in her train. Amphion had a charming voice for a supper after the
+opera. He was a handsome little fellow, but not to be depended upon.
+He broke a heart, or a dinner engagement, with the same reckless
+sentimentality; for he was one of those who always weep when they betray
+you, and whom you are sure never to see again immediately that they have
+vowed eternal friendship. Patroclus was a copy of Achilles without his
+talents and vivacity, but elegant and quiet. Of all these, Memnon was
+perhaps the favourite of Proserpine; nor must he be forgotten; amiable,
+gay, brilliant, the child of whim and impulse, in love with every woman
+he met for four-and-twenty hours, and always marvelling at his own
+delusion!
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg’s The Infernal Marriage, by Benjamin Disraeli
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