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+*The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Yellow Wallpaper, by Gilman*
+#2 in our series by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
+
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+The Yellow Wallpaper
+
+by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
+
+November, 1999 [Etext #1952]
+
+
+*The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Yellow Wallpaper, by Gilman*
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+
+
+
+
+The Yellow Wallpaper
+by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
+
+
+
+
+It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John and
+myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.
+
+A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a
+haunted house, and reach the height of romantic felicity--but
+that would be asking too much of fate!
+
+Still I will proudly declare that there is something queer
+about it.
+
+Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have stood
+so long untenanted?
+
+John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in
+marriage.
+
+John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience with
+faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs openly at
+any talk of things not to be felt and seen and put down in
+figures.
+
+John is a physician, and PERHAPS--(I would not say it to a
+living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a great relief
+to my mind)--PERHAPS that is one reason I do not get well
+faster.
+
+You see he does not believe I am sick!
+
+And what can one do?
+
+If a physician of high standing, and one's own husband,
+assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the
+matter with one but temporary nervous depression--a slight
+hysterical tendency--what is one to do?
+
+My brother is also a physician, and also of high standing,
+and he says the same thing.
+
+So I take phosphates or phosphites--whichever it is, and
+tonics, and journeys, and air, and exercise, and am absolutely
+forbidden to "work" until I am well again.
+
+Personally, I disagree with their ideas.
+
+Personally, I believe that congenial work, with excitement
+and change, would do me good.
+
+But what is one to do?
+
+I did write for a while in spite of them; but it DOES
+exhaust me a good deal--having to be so sly about it, or else
+meet with heavy opposition.
+
+I sometimes fancy that my condition if I had less opposition
+and more society and stimulus--but John says the very worst thing
+I can do is to think about my condition, and I confess it always
+makes me feel bad.
+
+So I will let it alone and talk about the house.
+
+The most beautiful place! It is quite alone, standing well
+back from the road, quite three miles from the village. It makes
+me think of English places that you read about, for there are
+hedges and walls and gates that lock, and lots of separate little
+houses for the gardeners and people.
+
+There is a DELICIOUS garden! I never saw such a
+garden--large and shady, full of box-bordered paths, and lined
+with long grape-covered arbors with seats under them.
+
+There were greenhouses, too, but they are all broken now.
+
+There was some legal trouble, I believe, something about the
+heirs and coheirs; anyhow, the place has been empty for years.
+
+That spoils my ghostliness, I am afraid, but I don't
+care--there is something strange about the house--I can feel it.
+
+I even said so to John one moonlight evening, but he said
+what I felt was a DRAUGHT, and shut the window.
+
+I get unreasonably angry with John sometimes. I'm sure I
+never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous
+condition.
+
+But John says if I feel so, I shall neglect proper
+self-control; so I take pains to control myself--before him, at
+least, and that makes me very tired.
+
+I don't like our room a bit. I wanted one downstairs that
+opened on the piazza and had roses all over the window, and such
+pretty old-fashioned chintz hangings! but John would not hear of
+it.
+
+He said there was only one window and not room for two beds,
+and no near room for him if he took another.
+
+He is very careful and loving, and hardly lets me stir
+without special direction.
+
+I have a schedule prescription for each hour in the day; he
+takes all care from me, and so I feel basely ungrateful not to
+value it more.
+
+He said we came here solely on my account, that I was to
+have perfect rest and all the air I could get. "Your exercise
+depends on your strength, my dear," said he, "and your food
+somewhat on your appetite; but air you can absorb all the time."
+So we took the nursery at the top of the house.
+
+It is a big, airy room, the whole floor nearly, with windows
+that look all ways, and air and sunshine galore. It was nursery
+first and then playroom and gymnasium, I should judge; for the
+windows are barred for little children, and there are rings and
+things in the walls.
+
+The paint and paper look as if a boys' school had used it.
+It is stripped off--the paper--in great patches all around the
+head of my bed, about as far as I can reach, and in a great place
+on the other side of the room low down. I never saw a worse
+paper in my life.
+
+One of those sprawling flamboyant patterns committing every
+artistic sin.
+
+It is dull enough to confuse the eye in following,
+pronounced enough to constantly irritate and provoke study, and
+when you follow the lame uncertain curves for a little distance
+they suddenly commit suicide--plunge off at outrageous angles,
+destroy themselves in unheard of contradictions.
+
+The color is repellent, almost revolting; a smouldering
+unclean yellow, strangely faded by the slow-turning sunlight.
+
+It is a dull yet lurid orange in some places, a sickly
+sulphur tint in others.
+
+No wonder the children hated it! I should hate it myself if
+I had to live in this room long.
+
+There comes John, and I must put this away,--he hates to
+have me write a word.
+
+
+We have been here two weeks, and I haven't felt like writing
+before, since that first day.
+
+I am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious
+nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my writing as much as I
+please, save lack of strength.
+
+John is away all day, and even some nights when his cases
+are serious.
+
+I am glad my case is not serious!
+
+But these nervous troubles are dreadfully depressing.
+
+John does not know how much I really suffer. He knows there
+is no REASON to suffer, and that satisfies him.
+
+Of course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on me so
+not to do my duty in any way!
+
+I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and
+comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!
+
+Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little
+I am able,--to dress and entertain, and other things.
+
+It is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a dear
+baby!
+
+And yet I CANNOT be with him, it makes me so nervous.
+
+I suppose John never was nervous in his life. He laughs at
+me so about this wall-paper!
+
+At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he
+said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing
+was worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies.
+
+He said that after the wall-paper was changed it would be
+the heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and then that
+gate at the head of the stairs, and so on.
+
+"You know the place is doing you good," he said, "and
+really, dear, I don't care to renovate the house just for a three
+months' rental."
+
+"Then do let us go downstairs," I said, "there are such
+pretty rooms there."
+
+Then he took me in his arms and called me a blessed little
+goose, and said he would go down to the cellar, if I wished, and
+have it whitewashed into the bargain.
+
+But he is right enough about the beds and windows and
+things.
+
+It is an airy and comfortable room as any one need wish,
+and, of course, I would not be so silly as to make him
+uncomfortable just for a whim.
+
+I'm really getting quite fond of the big room, all but that
+horrid paper.
+
+Out of one window I can see the garden, those mysterious
+deepshaded arbors, the riotous old-fashioned flowers, and bushes
+and gnarly trees.
+
+Out of another I get a lovely view of the bay and a little
+private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a beautiful
+shaded lane that runs down there from the house. I always fancy
+I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John
+has cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says
+that with my imaginative power and habit of story-making, a
+nervous weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of
+excited fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good sense
+to check the tendency. So I try.
+
+I think sometimes that if I were only well enough to write a
+little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.
+
+But I find I get pretty tired when I try.
+
+It is so discouraging not to have any advice and
+companionship about my work. When I get really well, John says
+we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a long visit; but he
+says he would as soon put fireworks in my pillow-case as to let
+me have those stimulating people about now.
+
+I wish I could get well faster.
+
+But I must not think about that. This paper looks to me as
+if it KNEW what a vicious influence it had!
+
+There is a recurrent spot where the pattern lolls like a
+broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare at you upside down.
+
+I get positively angry with the impertinence of it and the
+everlastingness. Up and down and sideways they crawl, and those
+absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere. There is one place where
+two breadths didn't match, and the eyes go all up and down the
+line, one a little higher than the other.
+
+I never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before,
+and we all know how much expression they have! I used to lie
+awake as a child and get more entertainment and terror out of
+blank walls and plain furniture than most children could find in
+a toy store.
+
+I remember what a kindly wink the knobs of our big, old
+bureau used to have, and there was one chair that always seemed
+like a strong friend.
+
+I used to feel that if any of the other things looked too
+fierce I could always hop into that chair and be safe.
+
+The furniture in this room is no worse than inharmonious,
+however, for we had to bring it all from downstairs. I suppose
+when this was used as a playroom they had to take the nursery
+things out, and no wonder! I never saw such ravages as the
+children have made here.
+
+The wall-paper, as I said before, is torn off in spots, and
+it sticketh closer than a brother--they must have had
+perseverance as well as hatred.
+
+Then the floor is scratched and gouged and splintered, the
+plaster itself is dug out here and there, and this great heavy
+bed which is all we found in the room, looks as if it had been
+through the wars.
+
+But I don't mind it a bit--only the paper.
+
+There comes John's sister. Such a dear girl as she is, and
+so careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.
+
+She is a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for
+no better profession. I verily believe she thinks it is the
+writing which made me sick!
+
+But I can write when she is out, and see her a long way off
+from these windows.
+
+There is one that commands the road, a lovely shaded winding
+road, and one that just looks off over the country. A lovely
+country, too, full of great elms and velvet meadows.
+
+This wall-paper has a kind of sub-pattern in a different
+shade, a particularly irritating one, for you can only see it in
+certain lights, and not clearly then.
+
+But in the places where it isn't faded and where the sun is
+just so--I can see a strange, provoking, formless sort of figure,
+that seems to skulk about behind that silly and conspicuous front
+design.
+
+There's sister on the stairs!
+
+
+Well, the Fourth of July is over! The people are gone and I
+am tired out. John thought it might do me good to see a little
+company, so we just had mother and Nellie and the children down
+for a week.
+
+Of course I didn't do a thing. Jennie sees to everything
+now.
+
+But it tired me all the same.
+
+John says if I don't pick up faster he shall send me to Weir
+Mitchell in the fall.
+
+But I don't want to go there at all. I had a friend who was
+in his hands once, and she says he is just like John and my
+brother, only more so!
+
+Besides, it is such an undertaking to go so far.
+
+I don't feel as if it was worth while to turn my hand over
+for anything, and I'm getting dreadfully fretful and querulous.
+
+I cry at nothing, and cry most of the time.
+
+Of course I don't when John is here, or anybody else, but
+when I am alone.
+
+And I am alone a good deal just now. John is kept in town
+very often by serious cases, and Jennie is good and lets me alone
+when I want her to.
+
+So I walk a little in the garden or down that lovely lane,
+sit on the porch under the roses, and lie down up here a good
+deal.
+
+I'm getting really fond of the room in spite of the
+wall-paper. Perhaps BECAUSE of the wall-paper.
+
+It dwells in my mind so!
+
+I lie here on this great immovable bed--it is nailed down, I
+believe--and follow that pattern about by the hour. It is as
+good as gymnastics, I assure you. I start, we'll say, at the
+bottom, down in the corner over there where it has not been
+touched, and I determine for the thousandth time that I WILL
+follow that pointless pattern to some sort of a conclusion.
+
+I know a little of the principle of design, and I know this
+thing was not arranged on any laws of radiation, or alternation,
+or repetition, or symmetry, or anything else that I ever heard
+of.
+
+It is repeated, of course, by the breadths, but not
+otherwise.
+
+Looked at in one way each breadth stands alone, the bloated
+curves and flourishes--a kind of "debased Romanesque" with
+delirium tremens--go waddling up and down in isolated columns
+of fatuity.
+
+But, on the other hand, they connect diagonally, and the
+sprawling outlines run off in great slanting waves of optic
+horror, like a lot of wallowing seaweeds in full chase.
+
+The whole thing goes horizontally, too, at least it seems
+so, and I exhaust myself in trying to distinguish the order of
+its going in that direction.
+
+They have used a horizontal breadth for a frieze, and that
+adds wonderfully to the confusion.
+
+There is one end of the room where it is almost intact, and
+there, when the crosslights fade and the low sun shines directly
+upon it, I can almost fancy radiation after all,--the
+interminable grotesques seem to form around a common centre and
+rush off in headlong plunges of equal distraction.
+
+It makes me tired to follow it. I will take a nap I guess.
+
+I don't know why I should write this.
+
+I don't want to.
+
+I don't feel able.
+
+And I know John would think it absurd. But I MUST say
+what I feel and think in some way--it is such a relief!
+
+But the effort is getting to be greater than the relief.
+
+Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and lie down ever so
+much.
+
+John says I musn't lose my strength, and has me take cod
+liver oil and lots of tonics and things, to say nothing of ale
+and wine and rare meat.
+
+Dear John! He loves me very dearly, and hates to have me
+sick. I tried to have a real earnest reasonable talk with him
+the other day, and tell him how I wish he would let me go and
+make a visit to Cousin Henry and Julia.
+
+But he said I wasn't able to go, nor able to stand it after
+I got there; and I did not make out a very good case for myself,
+for I was crying before I had finished.
+
+It is getting to be a great effort for me to think straight.
+Just this nervous weakness I suppose.
+
+And dear John gathered me up in his arms, and just carried
+me upstairs and laid me on the bed, and sat by me and read to me
+till it tired my head.
+
+He said I was his darling and his comfort and all he had,
+and that I must take care of myself for his sake, and keep well.
+
+He says no one but myself can help me out of it, that I must
+use my will and self-control and not let any silly fancies run
+away with me.
+
+There's one comfort, the baby is well and happy, and does
+not have to occupy this nursery with the horrid wall-paper.
+
+If we had not used it, that blessed child would have! What
+a fortunate escape! Why, I wouldn't have a child of mine, an
+impressionable little thing, live in such a room for worlds.
+
+I never thought of it before, but it is lucky that John kept
+me here after all, I can stand it so much easier than a baby, you
+see.
+
+Of course I never mention it to them any more--I am too
+wise,--but I keep watch of it all the same.
+
+There are things in that paper that nobody knows but me, or
+ever will.
+
+Behind that outside pattern the dim shapes get clearer every
+day.
+
+It is always the same shape, only very numerous.
+
+And it is like a woman stooping down and creeping about
+behind that pattern. I don't like it a bit. I wonder--I begin
+to think--I wish John would take me away from here!
+
+It is so hard to talk with John about my case, because he is
+so wise, and because he loves me so.
+
+But I tried it last night.
+
+It was moonlight. The moon shines in all around just as the
+sun does.
+
+I hate to see it sometimes, it creeps so slowly, and always
+comes in by one window or another.
+
+John was asleep and I hated to waken him, so I kept still
+and watched the moonlight on that undulating wall-paper till I
+felt creepy.
+
+The faint figure behind seemed to shake the pattern, just as
+if she wanted to get out.
+
+I got up softly and went to feel and see if the paper DID
+move, and when I came back John was awake.
+
+"What is it, little girl?" he said. "Don't go walking about
+like that--you'll get cold."
+
+I though it was a good time to talk, so I told him that I
+really was not gaining here, and that I wished he would take me
+away.
+
+"Why darling!" said he, "our lease will be up in three
+weeks, and I can't see how to leave before.
+
+"The repairs are not done at home, and I cannot possibly
+leave town just now. Of course if you were in any danger, I
+could and would, but you really are better, dear, whether you can
+see it or not. I am a doctor, dear, and I know. You are gaining
+flesh and color, your appetite is better, I feel really much
+easier about you."
+
+"I don't weigh a bit more," said I, "nor as much; and my
+appetite may be better in the evening when you are here, but it
+is worse in the morning when you are away!"
+
+"Bless her little heart!" said he with a big hug, "she shall
+be as sick as she pleases! But now let's improve the shining
+hours by going to sleep, and talk about it in the morning!"
+
+"And you won't go away?" I asked gloomily.
+
+"Why, how can I, dear? It is only three weeks more and then
+we will take a nice little trip of a few days while Jennie is
+getting the house ready. Really dear you are better!"
+
+"Better in body perhaps--" I began, and stopped short, for
+he sat up straight and looked at me with such a stern,
+reproachful look that I could not say another word.
+
+"My darling," said he, "I beg of you, for my sake and for
+our child's sake, as well as for your own, that you will never
+for one instant let that idea enter your mind! There is nothing
+so dangerous, so fascinating, to a temperament like yours. It is
+a false and foolish fancy. Can you not trust me as a physician
+when I tell you so?"
+
+So of course I said no more on that score, and we went to
+sleep before long. He thought I was asleep first, but I wasn't,
+and lay there for hours trying to decide whether that front
+pattern and the back pattern really did move together or
+separately.
+
+
+On a pattern like this, by daylight, there is a lack of
+sequence, a defiance of law, that is a constant irritant to a
+normal mind.
+
+The color is hideous enough, and unreliable enough, and
+infuriating enough, but the pattern is torturing.
+
+You think you have mastered it, but just as you get well
+underway in following, it turns a back-somersault and there you
+are. It slaps you in the face, knocks you down, and tramples
+upon you. It is like a bad dream.
+
+The outside pattern is a florid arabesque, reminding one of
+a fungus. If you can imagine a toadstool in joints, an
+interminable string of toadstools, budding and sprouting in
+endless convolutions--why, that is something like it.
+
+That is, sometimes!
+
+There is one marked peculiarity about this paper, a thing
+nobody seems to notice but myself,and that is that it changes as
+the light changes.
+
+When the sun shoots in through the east window--I always
+watch for that first long, straight ray--it changes so quickly
+that I never can quite believe it.
+
+That is why I watch it always.
+
+By moonlight--the moon shines in all night when there is a
+moon--I wouldn't know it was the same paper.
+
+At night in any kind of light, in twilight, candle light,
+lamplight, and worst of all by moonlight, it becomes bars! The
+outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is as plain as
+can be.
+
+I didn't realize for a long time what the thing was that
+showed behind, that dim sub-pattern, but now I am quite sure it
+is a woman.
+
+By daylight she is subdued, quiet. I fancy it is the
+pattern that keeps her so still. It is so puzzling. It keeps me
+quiet by the hour.
+
+I lie down ever so much now. John says it is good for me,
+and to sleep all I can.
+
+Indeed he started the habit by making me lie down for an
+hour after each meal.
+
+It is a very bad habit I am convinced, for you see I don't
+sleep.
+
+And that cultivates deceit, for I don't tell them I'm
+awake--O no!
+
+The fact is I am getting a little afraid of John.
+
+He seems very queer sometimes, and even Jennie has an
+inexplicable look.
+
+It strikes me occasionally, just as a scientific
+hypothesis,--that perhaps it is the paper!
+
+I have watched John when he did not know I was looking, and
+come into the room suddenly on the most innocent excuses, and
+I've caught him several times LOOKING AT THE PAPER! And Jennie
+too. I caught Jennie with her hand on it once.
+
+She didn't know I was in the room, and when I asked her in a
+quiet, a very quiet voice, with the most restrained manner
+possible, what she was doing with the paper--she turned around as
+if she had been caught stealing, and looked quite angry--asked me
+why I should frighten her so!
+
+Then she said that the paper stained everything it touched,
+that she had found yellow smooches on all my clothes and John's,
+and she wished we would be more careful!
+
+Did not that sound innocent? But I know she was studying
+that pattern, and I am determined that nobody shall find it out
+but myself!
+
+
+Life is very much more exciting now than it used to be. You
+see I have something more to expect, to look forward to, to
+watch. I really do eat better, and am more quiet than I was.
+
+John is so pleased to see me improve! He laughed a little
+the other day, and said I seemed to be flourishing in spite of my
+wall-paper.
+
+I turned it off with a laugh. I had no intention of telling
+him it was BECAUSE of the wall-paper--he would make fun of me.
+He might even want to take me away.
+
+I don't want to leave now until I have found it out. There
+is a week more, and I think that will be enough.
+
+
+I'm feeling ever so much better! I don't sleep much at
+night, for it is so interesting to watch developments; but I
+sleep a good deal in the daytime.
+
+In the daytime it is tiresome and perplexing.
+
+There are always new shoots on the fungus, and new shades of
+yellow all over it. I cannot keep count of them, though I have
+tried conscientiously.
+
+It is the strangest yellow, that wall-paper! It makes me
+think of all the yellow things I ever saw--not beautiful ones
+like buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things.
+
+But there is something else about that paper--the smell! I
+noticed it the moment we came into the room, but with so much air
+and sun it was not bad. Now we have had a week of fog and rain,
+and whether the windows are open or not, the smell is here.
+
+It creeps all over the house.
+
+I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the
+parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.
+
+It gets into my hair.
+
+Even when I go to ride, if I turn my head suddenly and
+surprise it--there is that smell!
+
+Such a peculiar odor, too! I have spent hours in trying to
+analyze it, to find what it smelled like.
+
+It is not bad--at first, and very gentle, but quite the
+subtlest, most enduring odor I ever met.
+
+In this damp weather it is awful, I wake up in the night and
+find it hanging over me.
+
+It used to disturb me at first. I thought seriously of
+burning the house--to reach the smell.
+
+But now I am used to it. The only thing I can think of that
+it is like is the COLOR of the paper! A yellow smell.
+
+There is a very funny mark on this wall, low down, near the
+mopboard. A streak that runs round the room. It goes behind
+every piece of furniture, except the bed, a long, straight, even
+SMOOCH, as if it had been rubbed over and over.
+
+I wonder how it was done and who did it, and what they did
+it for. Round and round and round--round and round and round--it
+makes me dizzy!
+
+
+I really have discovered something at last.
+
+Through watching so much at night, when it changes so, I
+have finally found out.
+
+The front pattern DOES move--and no wonder! The woman
+behind shakes it!
+
+Sometimes I think there are a great many women behind, and
+sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her crawling
+shakes it all over.
+
+Then in the very bright spots she keeps still, and in the
+very shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them
+hard.
+
+And she is all the time trying to climb through. But nobody
+could climb through that pattern--it strangles so; I think that
+is why it has so many heads.
+
+They get through, and then the pattern strangles them off
+and turns them upside down, and makes their eyes white!
+
+If those heads were covered or taken off it would not be
+half so bad.
+
+
+I think that woman gets out in the daytime!
+
+And I'll tell you why--privately--I've seen her!
+
+I can see her out of every one of my windows!
+
+It is the same woman, I know, for she is always creeping,
+and most women do not creep by daylight.
+
+I see her on that long road under the trees, creeping along,
+and when a carriage comes she hides under the blackberry vines.
+
+I don't blame her a bit. It must be very humiliating to be
+caught creeping by daylight!
+
+I always lock the door when I creep by daylight. I can't do
+it at night, for I know John would suspect something at once.
+
+And John is so queer now, that I don't want to irritate him.
+I wish he would take another room! Besides, I don't want anybody
+to get that woman out at night but myself.
+
+I often wonder if I could see her out of all the windows at
+once.
+
+But, turn as fast as I can, I can only see out of one at a
+time.
+
+And though I always see her, she MAY be able to creep
+faster than I can turn!
+
+I have watched her sometimes away off in the open country,
+creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high wind.
+
+If only that top pattern could be gotten off from the under
+one! I mean to try it, little by little.
+
+I have found out another funny thing, but I shan't tell it
+this time! It does not do to trust people too much.
+
+There are only two more days to get this paper off, and I
+believe John is beginning to notice. I don't like the look in
+his eyes.
+
+And I heard him ask Jennie a lot of professional questions
+about me. She had a very good report to give.
+
+She said I slept a good deal in the daytime.
+
+John knows I don't sleep very well at night, for all I'm so
+quiet!
+
+He asked me all sorts of questions, too, and pretended to be
+very loving and kind.
+
+As if I couldn't see through him!
+
+Still, I don't wonder he acts so, sleeping under this paper
+for three months.
+
+It only interests me, but I feel sure John and Jennie are
+secretly affected by it.
+
+
+Hurrah! This is the last day, but it is enough. John is to
+stay in town over night, and won't be out until this evening.
+
+Jennie wanted to sleep with me--the sly thing! but I told
+her I should undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone.
+
+That was clever, for really I wasn't alone a bit! As soon
+as it was moonlight and that poor thing began to crawl and shake
+the pattern, I got up and ran to help her.
+
+I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled, and before
+morning we had peeled off yards of that paper.
+
+A strip about as high as my head and half around the room.
+
+And then when the sun came and that awful pattern began to
+laugh at me, I declared I would finish it to-day!
+
+We go away to-morrow, and they are moving all my furniture
+down again to leave things as they were before.
+
+Jennie looked at the wall in amazement, but I told her
+merrily that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious thing.
+
+She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it herself, but
+I must not get tired.
+
+How she betrayed herself that time!
+
+But I am here, and no person touches this paper but me--not
+ALIVE!
+
+She tried to get me out of the room--it was too patent! But
+I said it was so quiet and empty and clean now that I believed I
+would lie down again and sleep all I could; and not to wake me
+even for dinner--I would call when I woke.
+
+So now she is gone, and the servants are gone, and the
+things are gone, and there is nothing left but that great
+bedstead nailed down, with the canvas mattress we found on it.
+
+We shall sleep downstairs to-night, and take the boat home
+to-morrow.
+
+I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare again.
+
+How those children did tear about here!
+
+This bedstead is fairly gnawed!
+
+But I must get to work.
+
+I have locked the door and thrown the key down into the
+front path.
+
+I don't want to go out, and I don't want to have anybody
+come in, till John comes.
+
+I want to astonish him.
+
+I've got a rope up here that even Jennie did not find. If
+that woman does get out, and tries to get away, I can tie her!
+
+But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand
+on!
+
+This bed will NOT move!
+
+I tried to lift and push it until I was lame, and then I got
+so angry I bit off a little piece at one corner--but it hurt my
+teeth.
+
+Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on
+the floor. It sticks horribly and the pattern just enjoys it!
+All those strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling fungus
+growths just shriek with derision!
+
+I am getting angry enough to do something desperate. To
+jump out of the window would be admirable exercise, but the bars
+are too strong even to try.
+
+Besides I wouldn't do it. Of course not. I know well
+enough that a step like that is improper and might be
+misconstrued.
+
+I don't like to LOOK out of the windows even--there are so
+many of those creeping women, and they creep so fast.
+
+I wonder if they all come out of that wall-paper as I did?
+
+But I am securely fastened now by my well-hidden rope--you
+don't get ME out in the road there!
+
+I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern when
+it comes night, and that is hard!
+
+It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep
+around as I please!
+
+I don't want to go outside. I won't, even if Jennie asks me
+to.
+
+For outside you have to creep on the ground, and everything
+is green instead of yellow.
+
+But here I can creep smoothly on the floor, and my shoulder
+just fits in that long smooch around the wall, so I cannot lose
+my way.
+
+Why there's John at the door!
+
+It is no use, young man, you can't open it!
+
+How he does call and pound!
+
+Now he's crying for an axe.
+
+It would be a shame to break down that beautiful door!
+
+"John dear!' said I in the gentlest voice, "the key is down
+by the front steps, under a plantain leaf!"
+
+That silenced him for a few moments.
+
+Then he said--very quietly indeed, "Open the door, my
+darling!"
+
+"I can't", said I. "The key is down by the front door under
+a plantain leaf!"
+
+And then I said it again, several times, very gently and
+slowly, and said it so often that he had to go and see, and he
+got it of course, and came in. He stopped short by the door.
+
+"What is the matter?" he cried. "For God's sake, what are
+you doing!"
+
+I kept on creeping just the same, but I looked at him over
+my shoulder.
+
+"I've got out at last," said I, "in spite of you and Jane.
+And I've pulled off most of the paper, so you can't put me back!"
+
+Now why should that man have fainted? But he did, and right
+across my path by the wall, so that I had to creep over him every
+time!
+
+
+
+
+
+End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Yellow Wallpaper, by Gilman
+