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diff --git a/19122.txt b/19122.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6940f3d --- /dev/null +++ b/19122.txt @@ -0,0 +1,751 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Love Instigated, by Douglass Sherley + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Love Instigated + The Story of a Carved Ivory Umbrella Handle + +Author: Douglass Sherley + +Release Date: August 25, 2006 [EBook #19122] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE INSTIGATED *** + + + + +Produced by David Garcia and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Kentuckiana Digital Library) + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + + LOVE + INSTIGATED + + BY + BELL THE CAT SURLY + of the PENDENNIS CLUB + + + THE STORY + OF A + CARVED IVORY UMBRELLA HANDLE. + + + + "The Man that Plants Cabbages Imitates God."--Dobson's Choice. + + + + + + + + Caveat Filed, + By CURRY & DEARING, Publishers, + Louisville, Ky. + + + + + + + + + LOVE PERPETUATED:-- + --The Story of a Dagger. + + By Douglass Sherley, + + WHO WROTE + + --THE STORY OF A PICTURE.-- + + * * * * * + + An Edition de Luxe [special] net, $10.00. Limited number. Ninety-nine + copies--signed by the Author. Right reserved to advance price at any + time. Subscriptions received now. Popular Edition--a Christmas Card + Booklet [in a box], $1.00. Liberal Discount to the Trade. + + Edition de Luxe ready December Fifteenth. + + Popular Edition ready December First. + + + John P. Morton and Company. + Main St., Louisville, Ky. + + + + + + + + + Special.Dedication + to + the.Members.of.the.Sherley.Club + of + Little.:.Britain: + + --Despair.ye.not.at.all-- + + E'en.by.so.Small.a.Thing.as.this.Poor.Booklet + May.Your + Loves.be.Instigated! + + + + + + + + + Dedicated + To.Each.Single.Son.of.St..Pendennis + Who.Worships.not.at.the.Shrine.of + The.Maiden.Priestess.of.To-day + --Let.Him.Look.to't,-- + Or.Likewise.He.May.Somewhere.Find + Love.Perpetrated. + + + + + + + + + Love Instigated. + + + +It was a daisy bit of Ivory. + +It was a curious piece of Workmanship. + +It was carved and carved again with Conventional Lines, which formed +a Female Head of East-Indian Unexceptionableness. + +It seemed to Smile and to Beckon, and then to Scowl repellantly--a +Living Mockery! + +It was Hateful--Oh, so Hateful!--the sight Of so conventional a Thing. + +And yet there had been such a Longing to touch It and to Hold It in the +Hand! + +But See the Sequel. + +It was not an Idol of India. + +It was the Carved Ivory Handle of a Tanned Gingham Umbrella, of very +Plebeian American Manufacture. + +It stood in a Hand-painted China Receptacle in The long quiet Hall, in +the House of a Friend. It was there when I Dined with him the Night +After Christmas. + +It Gleamed at me with a Sinister Gleam of its Dexter Eye! + +And it seemed to Smile and to Beckon at me out of the Soft, Voluptuous +Environment of The "Inner.Sisterhood," of which it was a Fellow. + +And when we were seated at the Glittering Table, beautiful with Crystal +and Silver-- + +And Lemonade and Cake-- + +An Esthetic Banquet-- + +It Chanced, by Merest Accident, that I was Given a seat opposite The +Portiered Archway which led into + +The Long Quiet Hall, + +With its Wine-Colored Wealth of Turkish-Bath Toweling thrown back. + +And as we Sat Beneath the Iridescent Glow Of the Keely-Motor + +Electric Lamp, which + +Glistened and Shimmered Its Stained-Glass Iridescence on all about +it, and gave its hue to The Invigorating Beverage, we heeded not the +Elemental war waging upon the Queen Anne Exterior of the Hospitable +Mansion of my Friend. + +And when we were left to our Coffee and our Pipes, we talked of Daggers, +and Epitaphs, and Tombs! + +And as he told me in a Mysterious Whisper the Story of the Malay Dagger, +"Guiltless of all Guile," the Vitreous Eye of that Quaintly Carved +Odalisque--for such my fevered fancy Pictured it--was ever Glaring at +me with its Sinister Glare! + +And when our Ghostly Talk was Interrupted By the Entrance of other +Guests, I Quaffed Another Crystal Goblet of My Friend's Brain-Maddening +Concoction, and casting a long, lingering Look at the Persian Rug which +hid the Graeco-Romanesque Architecture of the vaulted Ceiling, I passed +from the Gothic Portals of this Esthetic Shrine into the outer +darkness--beyond the glamour of the Seven Lamps of Architecture. + +But,--Oh Fitful Fate!--as I passed though The Long, Quiet Hall and +by the wine-colored Plush Corner from whose Voluptuous Shadow The +Sinister-Eyed, Carved-Ivory-Handle Odalisque cast an Alluring, +Appealing Look toward Me, and all Unconsciously, Unintentionally, and +Unresistingly I Took it from its Hand-Painted China Receptacle, and +closing the Heavy doors of Rolled, Cathedral Plate Glass After me, +I Unfurled its Sun-Tanned Gingham Folds to the aforementioned warring +elements. And as I Wended my Desolate Way to the Sainted Shrine of +Pendennis, my Seething Brain Peopled the Valley of Unrest with Elfs, +And Ravens and Brahman Gods, and the Dagger whose blood-stain belonged +to a Venetian Duke. When I Presently Entered the Resounding Cloisters of +the Order of ST. PENDENNIS--when I entered this "House without a Woman" +I sought the seclusion of a dark, Wine-Colored, Plush-Lined Cell, and +carelessly placing the Tanned Gingham, Vegetable-Ivory-handled Umbrella +on the Eighteenth Century Hearth before me, + +I threw my mentally-exhausted frame into a a Massive, Damask-covered +Chair with heavily-carved Arms of highly-polished Oak, and sounded the +Tiny, Tintinnabulating Call-Bell for Something to Counteract the Effects +of the Too-exhilerating Potables of my Friend, and his no less Harrowing +Stories! + +But while I thus sat waiting, with my feet to The Comfortable Fire, all +at once my Gaze was Unconsciously, Unintentionally and Unresistingly +Transfixed by the Sinister Glance of The Dexter Eye of the Carved-Ivory +Odalisque. + +And as I sat there in the Twilight Glare of the Slowly-Consuming +Embers on the Wide and Deep, Old-Fashioned, Open Fire-place, with +Lacquered-Brass Fire-Dogs--beneath the Spell of those Stealthy, Roguish +Glances, I, against My Wish and Will, was led to Think of The dark, +strange and weirdly grotesque things of which My Friend had Told me. + +And finally, as under the Strange Fascination of the Vitreous Dexter and +Sinister Eyes of The Carved-Ivory Odalisque, which Held me Spell-Bound, +I Learned from the Thin, Curled Lips of the said Carved-Ivory Odalisque +its Own Story. + +It was not Created by Love. + +Nor was it in Itself the Embodiment of Love. But it Bore in one of its +Flexible Ribs the Tangible Evidence of the Adhesive Qualities of a Love +Driven Back upon itself,--the Concentration of an Otherwise Wasted +Force. + +Less than a Thousand Years ago, a Dudish Roderick Dhu stood Flustrated +with Fiery Indignation, face to face with a Maiden Priestess--a +Prideful, Haughty Woman! + +It was on the Rue Quatrieme. It was at the Intersection of two great +Thoroughfares. + +The Clouds had Parted their Bangs in the Middle, and were Shimmering +their Crystal Drops of Distilled Ocean in torrental volume upon the +Luckless Wayfarers. + +It chanced that the Prideful Maiden Priestess Was Hurrying adown the +Boulevard with the Self-same Carved-Ivory-Handled Umbrella Closely +Clasped in Her Delicate Marie Antoinette fingers. She was thus Ensconced +Behind the Sheltering Tautness of the Stout-ribbed Gingham Umbrella +With the Carved-Ivory Handle, when she passed out of the Shadow of The +Massive Marble Edifice of Gothic Architecture and turned into the Rue +de la Chataigne--and Unconsciously, Unintentionally and Unresistingly +Punched a Tear out of the Dexter Eye of the Resistless Roderick Dhu! + +I am sure that Carved-Ivory, Oggling Odalisque was to Blame! I am sure +that it Wantonly Drove the Spare Rib of the Stout Gingham Umbrella to +the Accomplishment of its own Foul Purpose! + +The Prideful Maiden Priestess had great Commiseration for the Ardent +Roderick. + +She Frankly Told him so. + +And in a Tacit but Potent--Oh, so Potent--Way, bade him, if he liked, +to go with her to her Shrine and there have his Weeping Wounds Bound up +with "a Bit of East India Silk,"--at her Shrine, whose Doors should ever +be Open to Him. + +Oh! Chance, Fortuitous Chance! How many Followers of St. Pendennis are +Annually Ensnared in thy Name! + +Ere Long,--within a Month, a Little Month--the Dudish Roderick Dhu was a +cringing devotee at the Vestal Shrine of the Maiden Priestess, Praying +that she should receive all his Suppliant Love, and "right smart" of his +devotion. He would never leave Her Side. He would Never, never Smile on +other Maidens. He would Sacrifice each Trusted and Trusting Friend and +Creditor. She MUST receive his Heart and Hand, and his Partially-Eclipsed +Occular! + +Else, where, all the while, was all this Wealth of Passionate Love to +go to--If it was Spurned and Sent Back to its Donor? Who would have it +Second-Handed? + +This was, indeed, a Poser. + +It was Unanswerable! + +She did not Attempt to Answer it. She only Considered the First +Proposition. + +And she Thought of the Cruel, Cruel Deed Which she had been Led +by the Vitreous-Eyed Odalisque of Carved-Ivory to Unintentionally, +Unconsciously, and Unresistingly Perpetrate Upon Him; And--to cut a +Short Story shorter--she cast her 'Mind's Eye, Horatio,' upon his Queen +Anne Mansion Front, and Determined to Bestow upon the Injured Innocent +what remained--after Five Seasons--of the Wealth of Her Young Love. + + --Thus Simply is Love Instigated.-- + +Had the Maiden Princess Refused him her Silver-Tinged Love--Had she +Spurned and Thrown back upon his Hands his Passion torn To Tatters--he +Might Have Perpetuated his Love by Writing "a Book Without a Woman," or +Better still, he Might Have Spent the Force of his Extravagant Passion +by Executing, in Endless number and variety, Patent Ivory-handled +Umbrellas, Quaintly Carved in the Verisimility of the Oggling Odalisque, +which Impelled the Hand that Instigated his Love by Peeling his Dexter +Eye. + +But, Alas! The Thoughtless Pair of Innocents did not Consider that +their Love, being Mutual, Must, by the Decree of St. Douglass, +die--Unperpetuated--with Them! + +Or, if they Weighed the Dire Decree in the Balances of their Social +Philosophy, I Doubt Not that they Considered that if they Perpetuated +their Love the Length of their Natural Lives they Would have +Accomplished Enough. And, methinks their Heads were Equipoised. This +Work-a-Day World has all the Dudish Booklets and Carved-Ivory Dagger and +Umbrella Handles that it can Easily Carry. Let not Another Booklet break +Old Atlas' Back. + +And "Douglass, O Douglass, Tender and True," Carve for us no more +Heathen Gods of Love. E'en now Their Occupation's Gone. + +The Star-Eyed Goddess that Shines Forth From the Glittering Surface of +the Almighty Dollar is Goddess Potent enough to Perpetuate the Love of +this Day and Generation, even as by her Influence often is + + Love Instigated. + + * * * * * + +But the Quaintly Carved Vegetable-Ivory Odalisque Handle of the +Tanned-Gingham Umbrella that Rested in the Hand-Painted China Receptacle +that Stood in the Voluptuous Environment of the Wine-Colored Plush +Corner of the Long, Quiet Hall of the House of a Friend Where I Supped +the Night after Christmas--[Was this the House that Zack Built?]--It +still Glared at me with a Sinister Gleam of its Dexter Eye as it Oggled +me from its Place on the Hearth of the Wine-Scented Cell--Plush-Lined +Cell--in the Cloistered Precincts of Saint Pendennis. + + * * * * * + +It seemed to Smile a Ready, Garrulous Assent to all that which I have +Said. + +These Words it Seemed to Murmur: + +Oh! Thou Unmitigated Umbrella-Theif! Return Me to the home of those +whose Love I Instigated, whose Happy Household I am Responsible for. +Wake ye! Sleeping Son of Pendennis, or by the Goddess Si[l]va, I will +Execute Dire Vengeance Upon you! + +Even as I once was the Instigator of Love, upon You may be, + + Love Instigated! + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Love Instigated, by Douglass Sherley + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE INSTIGATED *** + +***** This file should be named 19122.txt or 19122.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/9/1/2/19122/ + +Produced by David Garcia and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Kentuckiana Digital Library) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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