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diff --git a/18675-8.txt b/18675-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b1694c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/18675-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16781 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land +of Doubt and Back Again, by Joseph Barker + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again + A Life Story + + +Author: Joseph Barker + + + +Release Date: June 24, 2006 [eBook #18675] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MODERN SKEPTICISM: A JOURNEY +THROUGH THE LAND OF DOUBT AND BACK AGAIN*** + + +E-text prepared by Marilynda Fraser-Cunliffe, Lisa Reigel, and the Project +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net/) from +page images generously made available by the Making of America Collection +of the University of Michigan Digital Library Production Service +(http://www.hti.umich.edu/m/moagrp/) + + + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through the + Making of Americal Collection of the University of + Michigan's Digital Library Production Service. See + http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=moa;c=moajrnl;g=moagrp;xc=1;q1=Barker;rgn=full%20text;cite1=Barker;cite1restrict=author;view=toc;idno=AJK2731.0001.001;cc=moa + + + + + +MODERN SKEPTICISM: A JOURNEY THROUGH THE LAND OF DOUBT AND BACK AGAIN. + +A Life Story + +by + +JOSEPH BARKER. + + + + + + + +Philadelphia: +Smith, English & Co. +1874. +Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by +Rev. Joseph Barker, +In the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. +Jas. B. Rodgers Co., +Printers and Stereotypers, +Philadelphia. + + + + + +CONTENTS. + + +PREFACE, 7 + +CHAPTER I. + +Introduction.--My early life.--Enter the Church.--The Ministry.--Happy +days.--Sad change.--How happened it? 17 + +CHAPTER II. + +Causes of unbelief.--Vice.--Other causes.--Constitutional tendencies to +doubt.--Disappointed expectations about Christianity.--Mysteries of +Providence.--Misrepresentations of Christ and Christianity in human +creeds.--Church divisions.--Ignorant advocates of Christianity.--Wrong +principles of reasoning.--False science, 19 + +CHAPTER III. + +Another cause of unbelief.--Bad feeling between ministers or among +church members.--Alienates them from each other.--Then separates them +from the Church.--Then from Christ.--How it works.--My case, 26 + +CHAPTER IV. + +Origin of the unhappy feeling between me and some of my brother +ministers.--Tendencies of my mind.--Rationalizing tendency.--Its +effects.--Reading.--Investigations.--Discoveries, 30 + +CHAPTER V. + +Modification of my early creed.--Unscriptural doctrines +relinquished.--Scriptural ones adopted.--Some doctrines +modified.--Theological fictions dropped.--Eager for the pure, simple +truth as taught by Jesus.--Doctrine of types given up.--Other notions +relinquished.--Alarm of some of my brethren at these changes, 44 + +CHAPTER VI. + +How preachers and theologians indulge their fancies on religion.--John +Wesley.--His resolution to be a man of one book.--What came of his +resolution.--His sermon on God's approbation of His works,--unscriptural +and unphilosophical throughout.--Illustrations and proofs.--And Wesley +was one of the best and wisest, one of the most honest and single-minded +of our theologians.--What then may we expect of others?--Evils of +theological trifling.--Mischievous effects of mixing human fictions with +Divine revelations, 55 + +CHAPTER VII. + +Further theological investigations.--Unwarranted statements by +preachers.--John Foster's Essay on Some of the Causes by which +Evangelical Religion is Rendered Distasteful to Persons of Cultivated +Minds.--Introduction of similar views to the notice of my ministerial +brethren.--The reception they met with.--No Church has got all the +truth.--Most Churches, perhaps all, have got portions of it, which +others have not.--My attempts to gather up the fragments from +all.--Freedom from bigotry.--Love to all Christians.--Judging trees +by their fruit.--Reading the books of various denominations, +like foreign travel, liberalizes the mind.--I found truth +and goodness in all denominations.--Appropriated all as part +of my patrimony.--Results.--Suspicions and fears among my +brethren.--Mutterings: Backbitings: Controversy. Bad feeling, 65 + +CHAPTER VIII. + +My style of preaching.--Decidedly practical.--Using Christianity as a +means for making bad people into good ones, and good ones always +better.--Reasons for this method.--A family trait.--Hereditary.--Great +need of practical preaching.--Folly of other kinds of +Preaching.--Littleness of great Preachers.--Worthlessness of great +sermons.--The Truly Great are the Greatly Good and Greatly Useful.--My +Models.--The Bible.--Jesus.--My Favorite Preachers.--Billy Dawson, David +Stoner, James Parsons.--My Favorite Books.--The Bible--Nature.--Simple +Common Sense, instructive, earnest, moving books.--How my preaching was +received by the people.--Its effects on churches and +congregations.--Uneasiness of my colleagues.--Fresh mutterings; tale +bearings; controversies; and more bad feeling, 82 + +CHAPTER IX. + +Extracts from my Diary.--A strange preacher.--Horrible sermons.--Lights +of the world that give no light.--Theological mist and +smoke.--Narrow-mindedness.--Intolerance.--T. Allin,--Great preaching +great folly.--A. Scott,--A good preacher.--Sanctification.--Keep to +Scripture.--R. Watson: theological madness.--Big Books on the way of +salvation; puzzling folks.--Antinomian utterances about Christ's work +and man's salvation.--Preachers taking the devil's side; and doing his +work.--Scarcity of common sense in priesthoods, and of uncommon +sense.--The great abundance of nonsense and bad sense.--Common religious +expressions that are false.--Favorite Hymns that are not +Scriptural--Baxter's good sense, 98 + +CHAPTER X. + +Reforming tendencies.--Corruptions in the Church.--Bad trades.--Faults +in the ministry.--Toleration of vice.--Drinking +habits.--Intemperance.--The Connexion.--Faulty rules.--Bad +customs.--Defective institutions.--All encouraged to suggest reforms and +punished for doing so.--Original principles of the Connexion set aside, +and persecution substituted for freedom.--My simplicity.--My +reward.--The Ministry.--Drunkenness.--Teetotalism.--Advocacy of +Temperance.--Outcry of preachers.--My Evangelical Reformer.--Articles on +the prevailing vices of the Church; On Toleration and Human Creeds;--On +Channing's Works; On Anti-Christian trading, &c., get me into +trouble.--Conference interference.--Conference trials.--The state of +things critical.--No remedy.--Matters get worse and worse.--Exciting +events: too many to be named here.--Envy, jealousy, rage, strife, +confusion, and many evil works.--Conspiracies: Fierce +conflicts.--Expulsion, 117 + +CHAPTER XI. + +Explanations about the different Methodist Bodies.--Grounds of my +reformatory proceedings.--About immoralities.--Christianity not to blame +for the faults of professors and preachers.--My own defects, 153 + +CHAPTER XII. + +Story of my life continued.--Results of my expulsion.--Fierce +fighting.--Desperation of my persecutors.--Great excitement on my +part.--Rank crop of slanders.--Monstrous ones.--And silly ones.--Bad +deeds as well as wicked words.--Hard +work.--Exhaustion.--Powerlessness.--Three days' rest.--Long +sleep.--Wonderful,--delightful,--result.--Public debates.--Remarkable +occurrences; seemed Providential.--A lying opponent unexpectedly +confronted and confounded.--New Body,--Christian Brethren.--My church at +Newcastle.--Change in my views, and fresh +troubles.--Losses.--Poverty.--Learn the Printing business.--Follow it +under difficulties.--Want of funds.--Generous friends. Family on the +verge of want.--Pray.--An unlooked-for cart-load of provisions.--Trust +in Providence.--False friends.--True ones.--A mad utterance.--A worse +deed.--Theological Conventions.--Free investigations and public +discussions.--Change of views, 103 + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Approach to Unitarianism.--Kindness of Unitarians.--Preaching and +lecturing in their pulpits.--Ten nights' public discussion with Rev. W. +Cooke.--Subjects.--Results.--Publications.--Now periodicals.--Unitarian +invitation to London.--Public reception.--Liberal contributions to Steam +Press Fund.--Press presentation.--Dr. Bateman; Dr.-Sir-John +Bowring.--Pleasurable change from intolerance and persecution to +friendship and favor.--Discoveries.--Unitarianism has many +phases.--Channingism.--Anti-supernaturalism.--Deism.--Atheism.--Gradually +slid down to the lower, 191 + +CHAPTER XIV. + +The Bible.--My earliest views of its origin and authority.--Changed as I +grew up.--Further changes.--Important facts about the Bible.--False +theories of its Divine inspiration.--The true--the Bible's +own,--doctrine on the subject.--Needful to keep inside of this.--No +defence outside either for the Bible or for Bible men.--Explanations: +illustrations: testimonies of celebrated writers.--The PERFECTION of the +Bible--in what does it consist.--Foolish and impossible notions of +perfection.--No absolute perfection in any thing.--No need for +it.--Foolish talk about infallibility.--Other important testimonies, 202 + +CHAPTER XV. + +Enters politics.--Advocates extreme political +views.--Republicanism.--Foretells the French Revolution of 1848.--Great +political excitement in England.--Government alarmed.--Get +arrested.--Lodged in prison.--Trial.--Triumph over Government.--Great +rejoicings.--Elected member of Parliament for Bolton, and Town +Councillor for Leeds.--Exhaustion from excess of labor.--Health +fails.--Terrible Pains.--Voyage to America and back.--Removes to +America.--Objects in doing so.--Settles on a farm.--Gets into fresh +excitement.--The Abolitionists.--Women's Rights.--All kinds of wild +revolutionary theories.--Go farther into unbelief instead of getting +back to Christ.--A mad world, with strange unwritten histories, and +awful, nameless mysteries, 241 + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Story of my descent from the faith of my childhood, to doubt and +unbelief.--Bad theological teaching in my early days.--Dreadful +results.--Perplexity.--Madness.--Survive all, and get over it.--The +first arguments I heard for the Bible.--True basis of religious +belief.--Reading on the evidences.--Effects.--Unsound +arguments.--_Their_ effect.--_Internal_ evidences best.--Negative +criticism, long continued, ruinous both to faith and virtue.--Moving +ever downwards.--The devil as a theologian, a poet and a +philosopher.--Bible Conventions.--W. L. Garrison, A. J. Davis.--Public +discussions in Philadelphia with Dr. McCalla.--The Doctor's disgraceful +failure.--Great,--mad,--excitement.--Narrow escape from murder.--Eight +nights' debate with Dr. Berg.--The good cause suffered through bad +management.--The Doctor took an untenable position.--Undertook to prove +too much and failed.--Substantially right, but logically wrong.--Other +debates in Ohio, Indiana, England and Scotland.--Mean and mischievous +opponents.--Honorable and useful ones.--Bad advocates of a good cause, +its worst enemies, 269 + +CHAPTER XVII. + +Continuation of my Story.--Lectures on the Bible in +Ohio.--Trouble.--Riot.--Rotten eggs.--Midnight mischief.--Had to +move.--Settlement among Liberals, Comeouters.--_Too_ fond of +liberty.--Would have my share as well as their own.--Fresh +trouble.--Another forced move.--Settlement in the wilds of Nebraska, +among Indians, wolves, and rattlesnakes.--Experience there.--A change +for the better.--How brought about.--Quiet of +mind.--Reflection.--Horrors of Atheism.--Destroys the value of +life.--Deceives you; mocks you; makes you intolerably +miserable.--Suggests suicide.--Prosperity not good for much without +religion: adversity, sickness, pain, loss, bereavement +intolerable.--Strange adventures in the wilderness; terrible dangers; +wonderful deliverances.--Solemn thoughts and feelings in the boundless +desert.--Solitude and silence preach.--Religious feelings +revive.--Recourse to old religious books.--Demoralizing tendency of +unbelief.--Lecture in Philadelphia.--Cases of infidel depravity.--You +can't make people good, nor even decent, without religion.--Infidelity +means utter debasement.--A good, a loving, and a faithful wife, who +never ceases to pray.--Return to England.--Experience there.--Unbounded +licentiousness of Secularism.--Total separation from the infidel +party.--My new Periodical.--Resolution to re-read the Bible, to do +justice to Christianity, &c.--A sight of Jesus.--Happy results.--Change +both of head and heart.--Happy transformation of character.--A new +life.--New work.--New lot.--From darkness to light,--From death to +life,--from purgatory to paradise,--from hell to heaven, 310 + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +Parties whose Christian sympathy, and wise words, and generous deeds, +helped me back to Christ, 345 + +CHAPTER XIX. + +The steps by which I gradually returned to Christ.--Lectures and sermons +on the road.--Answers to objections against the Bible and +Christianity.--Spiritualism.--Strange phenomena.--Answers to objections +advanced by myself in the Berg debate.--The position to be taken by +advocates of the Bible and Christianity.--Additional remarks on Divine +inspiration.--What it implies, and what it does not imply.--Overdoing is +undoing.--Genesis and Geology.--The Bible and Science.--Public +discussions,--explanation.--At Home in the Church.--Sorrowful, yet +always rejoicing.--Joy unspeakable, 355 + +CHAPTER XX. + +Lessons I have learned.--1. Men slow to learn wisdom by the experience +of others.--2. Danger of bad feeling.--3. Of a controversial spirit.--4. +Old ministers should deal tenderly with their younger brethren.--5. +Young thinkers should be prayerful, humble, watchful; yet faithful to +conscience and to truth, trusting in God.--6. With Christian faith goes +Christian virtue.--The tendency of unbelief is ever downwards.--7. +Unbelievers are not irreclaimable.--We should not pass them by unpitied +or unhelped.--8. Converts from infidelity must look for trials.--They +must not expect too much from churches and ministers. Paul's case.--9. +They must risk all for Christ, and bear their losses and troubles +patiently.--10. They should join the Church, right away.--Not look for a +perfect Church.--Keep inside.--Bear unpleasantnesses meekly.--Stones +made smooth and round in the stream, by the rubbing they get from other +stones.--Reformers should move gently, and have long patience.--The more +haste the worst speed.--Killing rats.--12. Unbelief, when not a sin, is +a terrible calamity: a world of calamities in one, 406 + +CONCLUDING REMARKS, 437 + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The object of this Book is, First, to explain a portion of my own +history, and, Secondly, to check the spread of infidelity, and promote +the interests of Christianity. How far it is calculated to answer these +ends I do not pretend to know. I have no very high opinion of the work +myself. I fear it has great defects. On some points I may have said too +much, and on others too little. I cannot tell. I have however done my +best, and I would fain hope, that my labors will not prove to have been +altogether in vain. + +I have spent considerable time with a view to bring my readers to +distinguish between the doctrines of Christ, and the theological +fictions which are so extensively propagated in His name. It is +exceedingly desirable that nothing should pass for Christianity, but +Christianity itself. And it is equally desirable that Christianity +should be seen in its true light, as presented in the teachings and +character, in the life and death of its great Author. A correct +exposition of Christianity is its best defence. A true, a plain, a +faithful and just exhibition of its spirit and teachings, and of its +adaptation to the wants of man, and of its tendency to promote his +highest welfare, is the best answer to all objections, and the most +convincing proof of its truth and divinity. And the truth, the +reasonableness, the consistency, the purifying and ennobling tendency, +and the unequalled consoling power of Christianity, _can_ be proved, and +proved with comparative ease; but to defend the nonsense, the +contradictions, the antinomianism and the blasphemies of theology is +impossible. + +I have taken special pains to explain my views on the Divine +Inspiration of the Scriptures. I am satisfied that no attempts to answer +the objections of infidels against the Bible will prove satisfactory, so +long as men's views on this subject go beyond the teachings of the +Scriptures themselves. To the fanciful theories of a large number of +Theologians the sacred writings do not answer, and you must therefore, +either set aside those theories, and put a more moderate one in their +place, or give up the defence of the Bible in despair. I therefore leave +the extravagant theories to their fate, and content myself with what the +Scriptures themselves say; and I feel at rest and secure. + +The views I have given on the subject in this work, and in my pamphlet +on the Bible, are not new. You may find them in the works of quite a +number of Evangelical Authors. The only credit to which I am entitled +is, that I state them with great plainness, and without reserve, and +that I do not, after having given them on one page, take them back again +on the next. + +How far my friends will be able to receive or tolerate my views on these +points, I do not know. I hope they will ponder them with all the candor +and charity they can. I have kept as near to orthodox standards as I +could, without doing violence to my conscience, and injustice to the +truth. I would never be singular, if I could honestly help it. It is +nothing but a regard to God, and duty, and the interests of humanity, +that prevents me going with the multitude. It would be gratifying in the +extreme to see truth and the majority on one side, and to be permitted +to take my place with them: but if the majority take sides with error, I +must take my place with the minority, and look for my comfort in a good +conscience, and in the sweet assurance of God's love and favor. + + +_A Dream._ + +In looking over some manuscripts some time ago, belonging to a relation +of my wife's father-in-law, I found the following story of a dream. Some +have no regard for dreams, but I have. I have both read of dreams, and +had dreams myself, that answered marvellously to great realities; and +this may be one of that kind. In any case, as the Preface does not take +up all the space set apart for it, I am disposed to give it a few of the +vacant pages. + +The dreamer's account of his dream is as follows. + +'After tiring my brain one day with reading a long debate between a +Catholic and a Protestant about the Infallibility of the Church and the +Bible, I took a walk along a quiet field-path near the river, full of +thought on the subject on which I had been reading. The fresh air, the +pleasant scene, and the ripple of the stream, had such a soothing effect +on me, that I lost myself, and passed unconsciously from the World of +realities, into the Land of dreams. I found myself in a large Hall, +filled with an eager crowd, listening to a number of men who had +assembled, as I was told, to discuss the affairs of the Universe, and +put an end to controversy. The subject under discussion just then was +the Sun. I found that after the world had lived in its light for +thousands of years, and been happy in the abundance of the fruit, and +grain, and numberless blessings produced by his wondrous influences, +some one, who had looked at the Great Light through a powerful +telescope, had discovered that there were several dark spots on his disk +or face, and that some of them were of a very considerable size. He +named the matter to a number of his friends who, looking through the +telescope for themselves, saw that such was really the case. + +'Now there happened to be an order of persons in the Land of dreams +whose business it was to praise the Sun, and extol its Light. And they +had a theory to the effect, that the Light of the Sun was unmixed, and +that the Sun itself was one uniform mass of brightness and brilliancy, +without speck, or spot, or any such thing. They held that the Head of +their order was the Maker of the Sun,--that He Himself was Light, and +that in Him was no darkness at all; and that the Sun was exactly like +Him, intense, unmingled, and unvarying Light. When these people heard of +the alleged discovery of the spots, they raised a tremendous cry, and +some howled, and some shrieked, and all united in pronouncing the +statement a fiction, and in denouncing in severe terms, both its author, +and all who took his part, as deceivers; as the enemies of the Sun, as +blasphemers of its Author, and as the enemies of the human race. + +'This was one of the great controversies which this world-wide +convention had met to bring to an end. + +'As I took my place in the Hall, one of the Professors of the Solar +University was speaking. He said the story about the spots was a wicked +calumny; and he went into a lengthy and labored argument to show, that +the thing was absurd and impossible. 'The Sun,' said he, 'was made by an +All-perfect Artificer,--made on purpose to be a Light, the Great Light +of the world, and a Light it must be, and nothing else but a Light; a +pure unsullied Light all round, without either spot, or speck of any +kind, or any varying shade of brilliancy in any part.' He added, 'To say +the contrary, is to do the Sun injustice, to dishonor its All-glorious +Author, to alienate the minds of men from the Heavenly Luminary, to +destroy their faith in his Light and warmth, to plunge the world into +darkness, and reduce it to a state of utter desolation. If the Sun is +not _all_ light, he is _no_ Light at all. If there be dark spots on one +part of his face, there may be dark spots on every part. _All_ may be +dark, and what seems Light may be an illusion; a false Light, 'that +leads to bewilder, and dazzles to blind.' He is not to be trusted. Every +thing is uncertain.' And he called the man who said he had seen the +spots, an impostor, a blasphemer, a _scavenger_, an ass, a foreigner, +and a number of other strange names. + +'The man he was abusing so unmercifully, stepped forward, and in a meek +and quiet spirit said, 'I saw the spots with my own eyes. I have seen +them scores of times. I can show them to you, if you will look through +this glass.' 'Your glass is a cheat, a lie,' said the Professor. 'But +others have seen them,' said the man, 'as well as I, and seen them +through a number of other glasses.' + +''It is impossible,' answered the Professor. 'A Sun made by an +All-perfect God, and made on purpose to be a Light, cannot possibly be +defaced with dark spots; and whoever says any thing to the contrary is +a ----.' + +'Here the Professor rested his case;--'A Sun without spots, or no Sun. +Light without variation of shade, or no Light. Prove that the Sun has +spots, and you reduce him to a level with an old extinguished lamp, that +is fit for nothing but to be cast away as an unclean and worthless +thing. The honor of God, and the welfare of the universe all hang on +this one question,--Spots, or no spots!' + +'His fellow professors took his part, and many spoke in the same strain. +But the belief in the spots made its way, and spread further every day, +and the consequence was, the obstinate Professors were confounded and +put to shame. Facts were too strong for them, and their credit and +influence were damaged beyond remedy. + +'After the Professors of the Sun were silenced, the Man in the Moon +arose and spoke. He contended that both Sun and Moon were free from +spots, but said, that no one could see the Sun as it really was, unless +he _lived_ in the Moon, and looked at it from his standpoint. 'The +Moon,' said he, 'like the Sun, is the work of the All-perfect Creator; +and its face is one unchanging blaze of absolute and unvaried +brightness.' + +'Now all who had ever looked at the Moon, had noticed, that no part of +her face was as bright as the Sun, and that some portions were of a +shade considerably darker than the rest. And I noticed that even the +Professors who had spoken extravagantly about the Sun, looked at each +other and smiled, when they heard the statements of the Man in the Moon. +Indeed there was such a tittering and a giggling through the Hall, that +the meeting was broken up. + +'I hastened out, and found there were a hundred discussions going on in +the street. Many of the disputants seemed greatly excited. I felt +melancholy. A quiet-looking man, with a very gentle expression of +countenance, came up to me, and in tones of remarkable sweetness, said, +'You seem moved.' 'I feel troubled,' said I. 'I don't know what to +think; and I don't know what to do.' He smiled, and said, 'None of these +things move me.' Then lifting up his eyes towards Heaven he said,--'The +Sun still shines; and I feel his blessed warmth as sensibly as ever. And +the millions of our race still live and rejoice in his beams.' 'Thank +God,' said I: 'Yes, I see, he still shines; and I will rest contented +with his light and warmth.' 'The spots are there,' said he, 'past doubt; +but experience, the strongest evidence of all, proves that they do not +interfere with the beneficent influences of the Great and Glorious Orb, +or lessen his claims to our respect and veneration, or diminish one jot +our obligations to his great Author. They have their use, no doubt. The +Sun might be too brilliant without them, and destroy our eyes, instead +of giving us light. Too much light might prove as bad as too little. All +is well. I accept plain facts. To deny them is to fight against God. To +admit them and trust in God is the true faith, and the germ of all true +virtue and piety. + +''I have no faith in the kind of absolute perfection those professors +contend for, either in Sun or Moon, Bible or Church; but I believe in +the SUFFICIENCY, or _practical_ perfection of all, and am as +happy, and only wish I were as good and useful, as ----' + +'Just as he spoke those words, I awoke. He seemed as if he had much to +say, and I would fain have heard him talk his sweet talk till now; but +perhaps I had heard enough, and ought now to set myself heartily to +work, to get through with the business of my life.' + +So ends the Dream-story. + +Some writers seem to think that their readers should understand and +receive their views, however new and strange they may be, the moment +they place them before their minds. They cannot understand how that +which is clear to them, should not be plain to everybody else. And there +are some readers who seem to think, that every thing they meet with in +the books they read, however much it may be out of the way of their +ordinary thought, or however contrary to their long-cherished belief, +should, if it be really intelligible and true, appear so to them at +first glance. How can anything seem mysterious or untrue to them, that +is not mysterious or untrue in its very nature? + +It so happened, that along with the dream-story, I found the following +fragment. It is not an interpretation of the dream, but it seems as if +it might teach a useful lesson, both to writers and readers. + +'Something more than light, and eyes, and surrounding objects, is +necessary to seeing. A new-born child may have light, and eyes, and +surrounding objects, and yet not see anything distinctly. And a man born +blind may have the film removed from his eyes, and be placed, at +noontide, in the midst of a world of interesting objects, and yet, +instead of seeing things, as _we_ see them, have nothing but a +confounding and distressing sensation. Seeing, as _we_ see, is the +result of habit, acquired by long-continued use. The new-born babe must +have time to exercise its eyes, and exercise its little mind as well, +before it can distinguish face from face, and form from form. The man +who has just received his sight must have time for similar exercise, +before he can enjoy the rich pleasures and advantages of sight to +perfection. Even we who have had our sight for fifty years do not see as +many things in a picture, a landscape, or a bed of flowers, when we see +them for the first time, as those who have been accustomed to inspect +and examine such objects for years. + +'And so it is with mental and moral vision. Something more than a mind, +and instruction, and mental objects are necessary to enable a man to +understand religion and duty. Attention, study, comparison, continued +with calmness, and candor, and patience, for days, for months, or for +years, may be necessary to enable a skeptic to understand, to believe, +and to feel like those who have long been disciples of Christ. + +'And a change of habits, continued till it produces a change of tastes +and desires, is necessary to prepare the sensualist to judge correctly +with regard to things moral and religious. We must not therefore expect +a good lecture, or an able book, to cure a skeptic of his doubts at +once. It may produce an effect which, in time, if the party be faithful +to duty, will _end_ in his conversion at a future day. The seed +committed to the soil does not produce rich harvests in a day. A change +of air and habits does not at once regenerate the invalid. The +husbandman has to wait long for his crop: and the physician has to wait +long for the recovery of his patient. And the skeptic has to wait long, +till the seed of truth, deposited in his soul, unfolds its germs, and +produces the rich ripe harvest of faith, and holiness, and joy. + +'And preachers and teachers must not think it strange, if their hearers +and readers are slow to change. Nor must they despond even though no +signs of improvement appear for months or years. A change for the better +in a student may not be manifest till it has been in progress for years. +It may not be perfected for many years. You cannot force a change of +mind, as you can force the growth of a plant in a hot-house. An attempt +to do so might stop it altogether. Baxter said, two hundred years ago, +'Nothing so much hindereth the reception of the truth, as urging it on +men with too much importunity, and falling too heavily on their errors.' + +'Have patience, then. Teach, as your pupil may be prepared to learn, but +respect the laws of the Eternal, which have fixed long intervals for +slow and silent processes, between the seed-time and the harvest-home.' + +While I am in doubt as to whether I have put into my book too much on +some subjects, I am thoroughly convinced that I have put into it too +little on others. I have not said enough, nor half enough, on Atheism. I +ought to have exposed its groundlessness, its folly, and its mischievous +and miserable tendency at considerable length. + +This defect I shall try to remedy as soon as possible, and in the best +way I can. + +Some weeks ago I read a paper before the M. E. Preachers' Meeting of +Philadelphia, on ATHEISM,--what can it say for itself? The +paper was received with great favor, and many asked for its publication. +It will form the first article in my next volume. + +I expect, in fact, to give the subject of Atheism a pretty thorough +examination in that volume, and to show that it is irrational and +demoralizing from beginning to end, and to the last extreme. + +John Stuart Mill, the head and representative of English Literary and +Philosophical Atheists, has left us a history of his life, and of his +father's life. In this work he presents us with full length portraits of +himself and his father, and both gives us their reasons for being +Atheists, and reveals to us the influence of their Atheism on their +hearts and characters, as well as on their views on morality, politics, +and other important subjects. + +And though the painter, as we might expect, flatters to some extent both +himself and his father, yet he gives us the more important features of +both so truthfully, that we have no difficulty in learning from them, +what kind of creatures great Philosophical Atheists are, or in gathering +from their works a great amount of information about infidelity, of the +most melancholy, but of the most interesting and important character. + +This Autobiography of Mr. Mill I propose to review. I meant to review it +in this volume, but I had not room. I intend therefore to give it a +place in my next volume, which may be looked for in the course of the +year. + +Another work has just been published, called _The Old Faith and the +New_. It is the last and most important work of D. F. Strauss, the +greatest and ablest advocate of antichristian and atheistic views that +the ages have produced,--the Colossus or Goliath of all the infidel +hosts of Christendom. In this work, which he calls his CONFESSION, +Strauss, like Mill, gives us a portrait of himself, exhibiting not only +his views, and the arguments by which he labors to sustain them, but the +influence of those views on the hearts, the lives, the characters, and +the enjoyments of men. If this Book can be answered,--if the arguments +of Strauss can be fairly met, and his views effectually refuted, +infidelity must suffer serious damage, and the cause of Christianity be +greatly benefited. I have gone through the Book with great care. I have +measured and weighed its arguments. And my conviction is, that the work +admits of a thorough and satisfactory refutation. If I had had space, I +should have made some remarks on it in this volume: but I had not. I +propose therefore to review it at considerable length in my next. + +Some time ago Robert Owen was a prominent man in the infidel world. He +was extolled by his friends as a great Philanthropist. He too left us a +history of his life, and his son, Robert Dale Owen, has just been +repeating portions of that history in the Atlantic Monthly. It may be +interesting to my readers to know what Atheism can do in the way of +Philanthropy. We propose therefore to add a review of the Life of Robert +Owen to those of Strauss and Mill. + +Robert Dale Owen himself was an Atheist formerly, and a very zealous and +able advocate of Atheistical views. He gives his articles in the +Atlantic Monthly as an autobiography, and seeks to make the impression +that he has revealed to his readers all the important facts of his +history without reserve. And he has certainly revealed some strange +things. But there are certain facts which he has _not_ revealed, facts +of great importance too, calculated to show the demoralizing tendency of +infidelity. We propose to render the autobiography of Mr. Dale Owen more +complete, more interesting, and more instructive, by the addition of +some of those facts. + +Frances or Fanny Wright was a friend of Mr. Dale Owen's. She was the +great representative female Atheist of her time. Like Mr. Dale Owen's +father, she was rich, and like him, seemed desirous to do something in +the way of philanthropy. Mr. Dale Owen, who was her agent for some time, +gives us some interesting facts with regard to her history, which may +prove of service to our readers. + +In Buckle we have an Atheistical Historian, who endeavors to prove that +we are indebted for all the advantages of our superior civilization, not +to Christianity, but to natural science and skepticism alone. He +represents Christianity as the enemy of science, and as the great +impediment to the advance of civilization. These views of Buckle we +regard as false and foolish to the last extreme, and we expect to be +able to show that Europe and America are indebted for their superior +civilization, and even for their rich treasures of natural science, +_not_ to infidelity, but to the influence of Christianity. + +Matthew Arnold has just published an interesting book entitled +LITERATURE AND DOGMA. It is however a mixed work; and we +propose, while noticing a number of its beautiful utterances, to make a +few remarks on some of its objectionable sentiments. + +There is a great multitude of important facts with regard to +Christianity,--facts which can be understood and appreciated by persons +of ordinary capacity, and which no man of intelligence and candor will +be disposed to call in question; yet facts of such a character as cannot +fail, when duly considered, to leave the impression on men's minds, that +Christianity is the perfection of all wisdom and goodness, and worthy of +acceptance as a revelation from an all-perfect God, and as the mightiest +and most beneficent friend of mankind. A number of those facts we +propose to give in our next volume. + + + + +MODERN SKEPTICISM. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +INTRODUCTION. + + +When a man has travelled far, and seen strange lands, and dwelt among +strange peoples, and encountered unusual dangers, it is natural, on his +return home, that he should feel disposed to communicate to his family +and friends some of the incidents of his travels, and some of the +discoveries which he may have made on his way. + +So when a man has travelled far along the way of life, especially if he +has ventured on strange paths, and come in contact with strange +characters, and had altogether a large and varied experience, it is +natural, as he draws near to the end of his journey, or when he reaches +one of its more important stages, that he should feel disposed to +communicate to his friends and kindred some of the incidents of his +life's pilgrimage, and some of the lessons which his experience may have +engraven on his heart. He will especially be anxious to guard those who +have life's journey yet before them, against the errors into which he +may have fallen, and so preserve them from the sorrows that he may have +had to endure. + +And so it is with me. I have travelled far along the way of life. I may +now be near its close. I have certainly of late passed one of its most +important stages. I have had a somewhat eventful journey. There are but +few perhaps who have had a larger or more varied experience. I have +committed great errors, and I have in consequence passed through +grievous sorrows; and I would fain do something towards saving those who +come after me from similar errors and from similar sorrows: and this is +the object of the work before you. + +At an early period, when I was little more than sixteen years of age, I +became a member of the Methodist society. Before I was twenty I became a +local preacher. Before I was twenty-three I became a travelling +preacher; and after I had got over the first great difficulties of my +calling, I was happy in my work; as happy as a mortal man need wish to +be. It was my delight to read good books, to study God's Word and works, +and to store my mind with useful knowledge. To preach the Gospel, to +turn men from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, and +to promote the instruction and improvement of God's people were the joy +and rejoicing of my soul. There were times, and those not a few, when I +could sing with Wesley-- + + "In a rapture of joy my life I employ, + The God of my life to proclaim: + 'Tis worth living for this, to administer bliss + And salvation in Jesus's name." + +And I was very successful in my work. I never travelled in a circuit in +which there was not a considerable increase of members, and in one place +where I was stationed, the numbers in church-fellowship were more than +doubled in less than eighteen months. + +In those days it never once entered my mind that I could ever be +anything else but a Christian minister: yet in course of time I ceased +to be one; ceased to be even a Christian. I was severed first from the +Church, and then from Christ, and I wandered at length far away into the +regions of doubt and unbelief, and came near to the outermost confines +of eternal night. And the question arises, + +How happened this? And how happened it that, after having wandered so +far away, I was permitted to return to my present happy position? + +These two questions I shall endeavor, to the best of my ability, to +answer. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +CAUSES OF UNBELIEF. + + +How came I to wander into doubt and unbelief? + +1. There are several causes of skepticism and infidelity. One is vice. +When a man is bent on forbidden pleasures, he finds it hard to believe +in the truth and divinity of a religion that condemns his vicious +indulgences. And the longer he persists in his evil course, the darker +becomes his understanding, the more corrupt his tastes, and the more +perverse his judgment; until at length he "puts darkness for light, and +light for darkness; calls evil good and good evil, and mistakes bitter +for sweet, and sweet for bitter." He becomes an infidel. It is the +decree of Heaven that men who persist in seeking pleasure in +unrighteousness, shall be given up to strong delusions of the devil to +believe a lie. + +2. But there are other causes of skepticism and unbelief besides vice. +Thomas was an unbeliever for a time,--a very resolute one,--yet the +Gospel gives no intimation that he was chargeable with any form of vice. +And John the Baptist, one of the noblest characters in sacred history, +after having proclaimed Jesus as the Messiah to others, came himself to +doubt, whether He was really "the one that should come, or they should +look for another." Like the early disciples of the Saviour, and the +Jewish people generally, John expected the Messiah to take the throne of +David by force, and to rule as a temporal prince; and when Jesus took a +course so very different, his confidence in his Messiahship was shaken. +And one of the sweetest Psalmists tells us that, as for him, his feet +were almost gone; his steps had well-nigh slipped: and that, not because +he was eager for sinful pleasures, but because he saw darkness and +clouds around the Providence of God: he could not understand or "justify +the ways of God to man." + +And there are thoughtful and good men still who fall into doubt and +unbelief from similar causes. The kind of people who, like Thomas, are +constitutionally inclined to doubt, are not all dead. Baxter mentions a +class of men who lived in his day, that were always craving for sensible +demonstrations. Like Thomas, they wanted to _see_ and _feel_ before they +believed. In other words, they were not content with faith; they wanted +_knowledge_. And there are men of that kind still in the world. + +And the darkness and clouds which the Psalmist saw around the providence +of God are not all gone. There are many things in connection with the +government of the world that are hard to be understood,--hard to be +reconciled by many with their ideas of what is right. There are +mysteries both in nature and in history, which baffle the minds and try +the faith of the best and wisest of our race. + +3. And there are matters in connection with Christianity to try the +faith of men. Like its great Author, when it first made its appearance, +it had "neither form nor comeliness" in the eyes of many. It neither met +the expectations of the selfish, proud, ambitious Jew, nor of the +disputatious, philosophic Greek. To the one "it was a stumbling-block," +and to the other "foolishness." And there have been men in every age, +who have been unable to find in Christianity all that their preconceived +notions had led them to expect in a religion from Heaven. There are men +still, even among the sincerest and devoutest friends of Christianity, +who are puzzled and staggered at times by the mysterious aspects of some +of its doctrines, or by some of the facts connected with its history. +They cannot understand, for instance, how it is that it has not spread +more rapidly, and become, before this, the religion of the whole world. +You tell them the fault is in its disciples and ministers, and not in +Christianity itself. But they cannot understand why God should allow the +success of a system so important to depend on faithless or fallible men. +Nor can they understand how it is that in the nations in which the +Gospel has been received, it has not worked a greater transformation of +character, and produced a happier change in their condition. How is it, +they ask, that it has not extinguished the spirit of war, destroyed the +sordid lust for gain, developed more fully the spirit of +self-sacrificing generosity, and converted society into one great +brotherhood of love? How is it that the Church is not more holy, more +united, and more prosperous,--that professors and teachers of +Christianity do not exhibit more of the Christian character, and follow +more closely the example of the meek and lowly, the loving and +laborious, the condescending and self-sacrificing Saviour whose name +they bear? They are amazed that so little is done by professing +Christians to save the perishing classes; that so many of the churches, +instead of grappling with the vice and wretchedness of our large towns, +turn their backs on them, build their churches in aristocratic +neighborhoods mostly, and compete with one another for the favor of the +rich and powerful. They cannot understand how it is, that churches and +ministers do not exert themselves more for the extinction of +drunkenness, gambling, and licentiousness, and for the suppression of +all trades and customs that minister to sin. It startles them to see to +what a fearful extent the churches have allowed the power of the press, +which once was all their own, to pass out of their hands, into the hands +of selfish, worldly, and godless adventurers. These matters admit of +explanation, but there are many to whose minds the explanation is never +presented, and there are some whom nothing will relieve from perplexity +and doubt but a grander display of Christian zeal and philanthropic +effort, on the part of the churches, for the regeneration of society. + +4. Then the religion of Christ is not, as a rule, presented to men in +its loveliest and most winning, or in its grandest and most overpowering +form. As presented in the teachings and character of Christ, +Christianity is the perfection of wisdom and goodness, the most glorious +revelation of God and duty the mind of man can conceive: but as +presented in the creeds, and characters, and writings of many of its +teachers and advocates, it has neither beauty, nor worth, nor +credibility. Some teach only a very small portion of Christianity, and +the portion they teach they often teach amiss. Some doctrines they +exaggerate, and others they maim. Some they caricature, distort, or +pervert. And many add to the Gospel inventions of their own, or foolish +traditions received from their fathers; and the truth is hid under a +mass of error. Many conceal and disfigure the truth by putting it in an +antiquated and outlandish dress. The language of many theologians, like +the Latin of the Romish Church, is, to vast numbers, a dead +language,--an unknown tongue. There are hundreds of words and phrases +used by preachers and religious writers which neither they nor their +hearers or readers understand. In some of them there is nothing to be +understood. They are mere words; meaningless sounds. Some of them have +meanings, but they are hard to come at, and when you have got at them +you find them to be worse than none. They are falsehoods that lurk +within the dark and antiquated words. I have heard and even read whole +sermons in which nine sentences out of ten had no more meaning in them +than the chatter of an ape. Perhaps not so much. I have gone through +large volumes and found hardly a respectable, plain-meaning sentence +from beginning to end. And wagon loads of so-called religious books may +still be found, in which, as in the talk of one of Shakespeare's +characters, the ideas are to the words as three grains of wheat to a +bushel of chaff; you may search for them all day before you find them; +and when you find them they are good for nothing. When I first came +across such books I supposed it was my ignorance or want of capacity +that made it impossible for me to understand them; but I found, at +length, that there was nothing in them to understand. There are other +books which have a meaning, a good meaning, but it is wrapped up in such +out-of-the-way words and phrases, that it is difficult to get at it. Men +of science have not only discarded the foolish fictions of darker ages, +but have begun to simplify their language; to cast aside the unspeakable +and unintelligible jargon of the past, and to use plain, good, common +English, thus rendering the study of nature pleasant even to children; +while many divines, by clinging to the unmeaning and mischievous +phraseology of ancient dreamers, render the study of religion repulsive, +and the attainment of sound Christian knowledge almost impossible to the +masses of mankind. And all these things become occasions of unbelief. +"So long as Christian preachers and writers are limited so much to human +creeds and systems, or to stereotyped phrases of any kind, and avail +themselves so little of the popular diction of literature and of common +life, so long must they repel many whom they might convince and win." +Dr. Porter, _President of Yale College_. + +5. Then again: the divisions of the Church, and the uncharitable spirit +in which points of difference between contending sects are discussed, +and the disposition sometimes shown by religious disputants to impugn +each other's motives, to call each other offensive names, and to consign +each other to perdition, are occasions of stumbling to some. + +6. And again: many advocates of Christianity, more zealous than wise, +say more about the Bible and Christianity than is true, and attempt to +prove points which do not admit of proof; and by their unguarded +assertions, and their failures in argument, bring the truth itself into +discredit. Others use unsound arguments in support of the truth, and +when men discover the unsoundness of the arguments, they are led +sometimes to suspect the soundness of the doctrine in behalf of which +they are employed. The pious frauds of ancient and modern fanatics have +proved a stumbling-block to thousands. + +Albert Barnes says, "There is no class of men that are so liable to rely +on weak and inconclusive reasonings as preachers of the Gospel. Many a +young man in a Theological Seminary is on the verge of infidelity from +the nature of the reasoning employed by his instructor in defence of +that which is true, and which might be well defended: and many a youth +in our congregations is almost or quite a skeptic, not because he wishes +to be so, but because that which is true is supported by such worthless +arguments." + +7. Again; theological students sometimes adopt erroneous principles or +unwise methods of reasoning in their search after truth, and do not +discover their mistake till they are landed in doubt and unbelief. They +find certain principles laid down by men in high repute for science, and +adopt them without hesitation, not considering that men of science are +sometimes mad, fanatical infidels, and that they manufacture principles +without regard to truth, for the simple purpose of undermining men's +faith in God and religion. Writers on science of one school tell you, +that in your study of nature, you must be careful never to admit the +doctrine of final causes; or, in other words, that you must never +entertain the idea that anything in nature was meant to answer any +particular purpose. You must, say they, if you would be a true +philosopher, shut out from your mind all idea of design or contrivance +in the works of nature. You must just look at what is, and not ask what +it is for. You may find wonderful adaptations of things to each other, +all tending to happy results; but you must never suppose that any one +ever _designed_ or _planned_ those adaptations, with a _view_ to those +happy results. You must confine yourself entirely to what you see, and +never admit the thought of a Maker whom you do not see. You must limit +your observations to what is done, and not dream of a Doer. You may see +things tending to the diffusion of happiness, but must not suppose that +there is a great unseen Benefactor, who gives them this blessed +tendency. And if you feel in yourself a disposition to gratitude, you +must treat it as a foolish, childish fancy, and suppress it as +irrational. + +A sillier or a more contemptible notion--a notion more opposed to true +philosophy and common sense,--can hardly be conceived. How any one could +ever have the ignorance or the impudence to propound such an unnatural +and monstrous absurdity as a great philosophical principle, would be a +mystery, if we did not know how infidelity perverts men's +understandings, and, while puffing them up with infinite conceit of +their own wisdom, transforms them into the most arrant and outrageous +fools. + +Yet this monstrous folly has found its way into books, and papers, and +reviews, and, through them, into the minds of some Christian students; +and when the madness of the notion is not detected, it destroys their +faith, and makes them miserable infidels. + +Some adopt the principle that reason is man's only guide,--that reason +alone is judge of what is true and good, and that to reason every thing +must be submitted, and received or rejected, done or left undone, as +reason may decide. This sounds very plausible to many, and there is a +sense in which it may be true; but there is a sense in which it is +fearfully false; and the youth that adopts it, and acts upon it, will be +likely to land himself in utter doubt, both with regard to religion and +morals. There are numbers of cases in which reason is no guide at +all,--in which instinct, natural affection, and consciousness are our +only guides. You can never prove by what is generally called reason +alone, that man is not a machine, governed entirely by forces over +which he has no control. You cannot therefore prove by what certain +philosophers call reason, that any man is worthy of reward or +punishment, of praise or blame, of gratitude or of resentment; or that +there is any such thing in men as virtue or vice, according to the +ordinary sense of the words. The ablest logicians on earth, when they +take reason alone as their guide, come to the conclusion that there is +no such thing as liberty or moral responsibility, in the ordinary +acceptation of the terms, but that all is fixed, that all is fate, from +eternity to eternity. They accordingly come to the further conclusion, +that there is no free, voluntary Ruler of the universe,--that there is +no Almighty Judge and Rewarder,--that there is neither reward nor +punishment, properly speaking, either in this world or in the world to +come. They become atheists. + +You can never prove by reason that a woman ought to love her own child +better than the child of another woman. You cannot prove by reason that +she ought to love it at all. You may say no children would be reared if +mothers did not love their children, and even love them better than the +children of other mothers. But how will you prove that children _ought_ +to be reared? Can you show that the mother will confer any advantage on +her child, or secure any advantage to herself, or any one else, by +rearing it? Can you prove that it will not be a torment to her,--that it +will not bring her to want, and shame, and an untimely death? The fact +is, a mother's love, a mother's partiality for her own child, is not a +matter of reason. The hen loves her chickens, the she bear loves its +cubs, the mother dog loves its whelps, and the ewe loves her lambs, +without any regard to reason. Their affections and preferences are +governed by something infinitely wiser than reason; infinitely higher, +at least, than any reason that _man_ can boast. And men love women, and +women love men, and men and women marry and form new families, not at +the bidding of reason, but under the influence of instincts or impulses +that come from a wisdom infinitely higher than the wisdom of the wisest +man on earth. And so it is with many of our beliefs. They are +instinctive; and reason, when it becomes reasonable enough to deserve +the name, will advise you to cherish those instinctive beliefs as your +life, in spite of all the infidel philosophy and reasoning on earth. + +But even honest and well-disposed men of science sometimes form bad, +defective, or one-sided habits of thought and judgment unconsciously, +which render it impossible for them to do justice either to Nature or +Christianity as revelations of the character and government of God. And +these faulty habits of thought and judgment, and the anti-Christian +conclusions to which they lead, pass on from men of science to literary +men; and literature is vitiated, and books and periodicals which should +lead men to truth, cause them to err. Thus skeptical principles pervade +society. They find advocates at times even among men who call themselves +ministers of Christ. The consequence is, that well-disposed, and even +pious young men, are perplexed, bewildered, and some who, like John the +Baptist, were "burning and shining lights," become "wandering stars," +and lose themselves, for a time at least, amidst the "blackness and +darkness" of doubt and despair. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +ANOTHER CAUSE OF UNBELIEF--BAD FEELING. THE AUTHOR'S CASE. + + +There are several other causes of doubt and unbelief which we might +name, if we had time; but we have not. There is one however which we +must notice, because it had considerable influence in our own case; we +refer to the bad feeling which sometimes takes possession of the minds +of Christians towards each other, or of the minds of ministers towards +their brother ministers. + +You are aware, perhaps, that if you scratch the skin, and introduce a +little diseased animal matter to the blood, it will gradually spread +itself through the system, and in time poison the whole body. And if you +do not know this, you know, that if you take a little leaven, and place +it in a mass of meal, and leave it there to work unchecked, it will in +time leaven the whole lump. And as it is with things natural, so it is +with things spiritual. If you allow a little leaven of bad feeling to +get into your minds towards your fellow Christians or your brother +ministers, and permit it to remain there, it will in time infect your +whole soul, impair the action of all its faculties, and after alienating +you from individuals, separate you first from the Church, and then from +Christ and Christianity. + +There is a passage in the Bible which says that judges are not to take +gifts; and the reason assigned is, not that if a judge accepts a present +he will, with his eyes open, wilfully condemn the innocent or acquit the +guilty; but that "a gift _blindeth the eyes_," even "of the wise," so +that he is no longer able to see clearly which is the guilty and which +the guiltless party. And there is another passage in the Bible which +says that "oppression driveth a wise man mad." The feeling a man has +that he has been wickedly, cruelly treated, excites his mind so +painfully and violently, that it is impossible for him to think well of +the character or views of his oppressor, or of any party, institution, +or system with which he may be connected. + +As some friends of mine were canvassing for votes one day, previous to +an election, they came upon a man who could not, for a time, say for +which candidate he would vote. At length a thought struck him, and he +said, "Who is John Myers going to vote for?" "Oh," said my friends, +"he's going to vote for _our_ man." "Then I'll vote for the other man," +said he, "for I'm sure Myers will vote wrong." Myers had swindled him in +a business transaction; and his feelings towards him were so strong, and +of so unpleasant a kind, that he could not think anything right that +Myers did, nor could he think anything wrong that he himself did, so +long as he took care to go contrary to Myers. + +It is very natural to smile at such weakness when we see it in others, +and yet exhibit unconsciously the same weakness ourselves under another +form. There are some Christians who, when their minister pleases them +well, are quite delighted with his discourses. They are "marrow and +fatness" to their souls. And every sermon he preaches seems better than +the one that went before; and they feel as if they could sit under that +dear good man for ever. But a change comes over their feelings with +regard to him. While going his round of pastoral visits some day, he +passes their door, but calls at the house of a richer neighbor a little +lower down: or on visiting the Sunday-school, he pats someone's little +boy on the head, and speaks to him kind and pleasant words, while he +passes their little son unnoticed. He has no improper design in what he +does; but it happens so; that is all. The idea of partiality never +enters his mind. But they fancy he has got something wrong in his mind +towards them; and it is certain now that they have got something wrong +in their minds towards him. And now his sermons are quite changed. The +"marrow and fatness" are all gone, and there is nothing left but "the +husks which the swine should eat." And every sermon he preaches seems +worse than the one which went before, until at length they get quite +weary, and their only comfort is, if they be Methodists, that Conference +will come some day, and they will have a change. And all this time the +preacher is just the same good man he ever was, and his sermons are the +same; only _they_ are changed. They have misjudged him, and become the +subjects of unhappy feeling, and are no longer capable of doing either +him or his sermons justice. + +And the longer the unhappy feeling is allowed to remain in their minds, +the stronger it will become, and the more mischievous will it prove. +After disabling or perverting their judgments with regard to their +pastor, it will be in danger of separating them from the Church; and +when once they get out of the Church into the outside world, no wonder +if they make shipwreck both of faith, and of a good conscience. + +And so it is continually. Our views of men's characters, talents, +sentiments, are always more or less influenced by our feelings and +affections. If we like a man very much, we look on his views in the most +favorable light, and are glad to see anything like a reason for adopting +them ourselves. We give his words and deeds the most favorable +interpretation, and we rate his gifts and graces above their real value. +On the other hand, if we dislike a man,--if we are led to regard him as +an enemy, and to harbor feelings of resentment towards him, we look on +what he says and does with distrust; we suspect his motives; we +under-rate his talents, and are pleased to have an excuse for differing +from him in opinion. + +We see proofs of this power of feeling and affection over the judgment +on every hand. The mother of that ordinary-looking and troublesome child +thinks it the most beautiful and engaging little creature under heaven; +while she wonders how people can have patience with her neighbor's +child, which, in truth, is quite a cherub or an angel compared with +her's. You know how it is with natural light. You sit inside an ancient +cathedral, and the light from the bright shining sun streams in through +the painted windows. Outside the cathedral the light is all pure white; +but inside, as it falls upon the pulpit, the pillars, the pews and the +people, it is purple, orange, violet, blue, red, or green, according to +the color of the glass through which it passes. It is the same with +moral or spiritual light; it takes the tint or hue of the painted +windows of our passions and prejudices, our likes and dislikes, through +which it enters our minds. The light that finds its way into men's +minds, says Bacon, is never pure, white light; but light colored by the +medium through which it passes. Look where we will, whether into books +or into the living world, we see differences of opinion on men and +things that can be accounted for on no other principle than that the +judgments of people are influenced by their passions and feelings, their +prejudices and interests. The Royalists looked on Cromwell through +spectacles of hate and vengeance, and saw a monster of hypocrisy and +blood. The Puritans looked at him through spectacles of revolutionary +fanaticism, and saw a glorious saint and hero. The clergy looked on +Nonconformists through conservative glasses, and saw a rabble of +fanatics and rebels. The Nonconformists looked on the clergy through +revolutionary glasses, and saw a host of superstitious formalists, and +blind, persecuting Pharisees. The man who looks through the unstained +glasses of impartiality, sees much that is good, and something that is +not good, in all. + +Who, that knows much of human nature, expects Catholics to judge +righteously of Protestants, or Protestants to judge righteously of +Catholics? Who, that knows anything of the world, expects revolutionary +Radicals to do justice to the characters and motives of Conservatives, +or ejected Irishmen to see anything in Englishmen but robbers and +tyrants? I know that all this is great weakness, but where is the man +that is not weak? The man who thinks himself free from this weakness, +has probably a double share of it. The man who is really strong is some +one who is keenly sensible of his weakness, and who feels that his +sufficiency is of God. Weakness and humanity are one. + +I dwell the longer on this point because, as I have already intimated, a +right understanding of it will go far towards explaining the disastrous +change which took place in my own mind with regard to Christianity. One +great cause of my separation from the Church, and then of my +estrangement from Christ, was the influence of bad feeling which took +possession of my mind towards a number of my brother ministers. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +ORIGIN OF THE UNHAPPY FEELING--CHARACTERISTICS OF THE AUTHOR'S +MIND--RATIONALIZING TENDENCY. + + +How came I to be the subject of this bad feeling? I will tell you. + +As a young minister I had two or three marked tendencies. One may be +called a rationalizing tendency. I was anxious, in the first place, +clearly to understand all my professed beliefs, and to be able, in the +second place, to make them plain to others. I never liked to travel in a +fog, wrapped round as with a blinding cloud, unable either to see my +way, or to get a view of the things with which I was surrounded. I liked +a clear, bright sky, with the sun shining full upon my path, and +gladdening my eyes with a view of a thousand interesting objects. And so +with regard to spiritual matters. I never liked to travel in theological +fogs. They pressed on me at the outset of my religious life, on every +side, hiding from my view the wonders and the glories of God's word and +works; but I never rested in the darkness. I longed and prayed for light +with all my soul, and sought for it with all my powers. Regarding the +Bible as God's Book, given to man for his instruction and salvation, I +resolved, by God's help, to find out both what it said and what it +meant, on every important point of truth and duty. + +1. I became sensible, very early in life, that the doctrines I had +received from my teachers were, in some cases, inconsistent with each +other, and that they could not therefore all be true; and I was anxious +to get rid of this inconsistency, and to bring the whole of my beliefs +into harmony with each other. + +2. I was also anxious to bring my views into agreement with the +teachings of Christ and His Apostles. I wished every article of my +belief to rest, not on the word of man, but on the word of God. I +believed it to be my duty to come as near to Christ as possible, both in +my views and character. And I wished my style of preaching and teaching +to be, like His, the perfection of plainness and simplicity. I felt that +my chief mission was to the masses,--that I was called especially to +preach and teach the Gospel to the poor; and it was my wish to be able +to make it plain to people of the most defective education, and of the +humblest capacity. + +3. I was further wishful to see an agreement between the doctrines which +I gathered from the Sacred Scriptures, and the oracles which came to me +from the works of God in nature. If nature and Christianity were from +the same All-perfect God, as I believed, their voices must be one. Their +lessons of truth and duty must agree. They must have the same end and +tendency. Christian precepts must be in harmony with man's mental and +bodily constitution. They must be conducive to the development of all +man's powers; to the perfection and happiness of his whole being. They +must be friendly to the improvement of his condition. They must favor +every thing that is conducive to his personal and domestic happiness, +and to the social and national welfare of the whole human race. And the +doctrines of Christianity must be in harmony with the constitution, and +laws, and phenomena of the visible universe. If there be one Great, +All-perfect Creator and Governor of the world and of man, then man and +the universe, the universe and religion, science and revelation, +philosophy and Christianity, the laws of nature and the laws of Christ, +must all be one. I wanted to see this oneness, and to feel the sweet +sense of it in my soul. + +4. I wanted further to see the foundations on which my belief in God and +Christ and in the Sacred Scriptures rested, that I might be able to +justify my belief both to myself and to others. I wished to have the +fullest evidence and assurance of the truth of Christianity I could get, +that I might both feel at rest and happy myself, and be able to give +rest and comfort to the souls of others. + +5. With these objects in view I set to work. I prayed to God, the Great +Father of lights, and the Giver of every good and perfect gift, to lead +me into all truth, and to furnish me to every good work. I read the +Bible with the greatest care. I searched it through and through. I +studied it daily, desirous to learn the whole scope and substance of its +teachings, on every point both of truth and duty. I marked on the margin +of the pages all those passages that struck me by their peculiar +clearness, and their fulness of important meaning. These passages I read +over again and again, till I got great numbers of them off by heart. I +gave each passage a particular mark according to the subject on which it +treated. I then copied the whole of these passages into large Note +Books, placing all that spake on any particular subject together. I also +arranged the passages so far as I was able, in their natural order, that +they might throw light on one another, and present the subject on which +they treated, in as full and intelligible a light as possible. I divided +the pages of my Note Books into two columns, placing the passages which +favored one view of a subject in the first column, and those which +seemed to favor a different view in the second. I placed in those Note +Books passages on matters of duty, as well as on matters of truth. In +this way I got nearly all the plainer and more important portions of the +Bible arranged in something like systematic order. Having done this, I +went through my Books, and put down in writing all that the passages +plainly taught, and marked the bearing of their teachings on the various +articles of my creed, with a view to bringing my creed, and the +teachings of Scripture, into agreement with each other. + +6. To help me in these my labors, and to secure myself as far as +possible from serious error, I read a multitude of other books, on +almost every subject of importance, by authors of almost all varieties +of creeds. I read commentaries, sermons, bodies of divinity, and a host +of treatises on various points. To the best of my ability I examined the +Scriptures in the original languages, as well as in a number of +translations, both ancient and modern, including several Latin and +French versions, four German ones, and all the English ones that came in +my way. I had a number of Lexicons, and of Theological and Bible +Dictionaries of which I made free use. I went through the Commentaries +of Baxter, Wesley and Adam Clarke with the greatest care, as well as +through a huge and somewhat heterodox, but able and excellent work, +published by Goadby, entitled, _Illustrations of the Sacred Scriptures_. +I do not think I missed a single sentence in these commentaries, or +passed unweighed a single word. + +I read and studied the writings of Wesley generally, and the works of +Fletcher, Benson and Watson. I read Hooker and Taylor also, and Wilkins, +and Barrow, and Tillotson, and Butler, and Burnet, and Pearson, and +Hoadley. I read the writings of Baxter almost continually. I went +through, not only the whole of his voluminous practical works, but many +of his doctrinal and controversial ones, including his Catholic +Theology, his Aphorisms on Justification, his Confessions, and his most +elaborate, comprehensive and wonderful work of all, his _Methodus +Theologiæ_, in Latin. In Baxter alone I had a world of materials for +thought, on almost every religious and moral subject that can engage the +mind of man. And on almost every subject of importance his thoughts +seemed rich and wholesome, scriptural and rational in the highest +degree. His Christian spirit held me captive, and I never got tired of +his earnest, eloquent, and godly talk. Even the old and endless +controversies on which he spent so much time and strength, were often +rendered interesting by the honesty of his heart, by the abundance of +his charity, by the moderation of his views, and by the never-failing +good sound sense of his remarks. None of the works I read had such a +charm for me as those of Baxter, and no other religious writer exerted +so powerful and lasting an influence either on my head or heart. Taylor +was too flowery, and Barrow too wordy, and Tillotson was rather cold and +formal; yet I read them all with profit, and with a great amount of +pleasure. Hooker I found a wonder, both for excellency of style and +richness of sentiment; and his piety and wisdom, his candor and his +charity, have never been surpassed since the days of Christ and His +Apostles. And Hoadley too I liked, and Butler, and Thomas a Kempis, and +William Law. And then came Bolton and Howe, and Doddridge and Watts. +Then Penn, and Barclay, and Clarkson, and Sewell, and Hales, and Dell +caught my attention, giving me interesting revelations of Quaker thought +and feeling. + +And I was edified by Lactantius and Chrysostom, the most eloquent, +rational and practical of the Christian Fathers. By and by came +Priestley and Price, and Dr. John Taylor, and W. E. Channing, and a host +of others of the modern school of heterodox writers. I also read a +number of celebrated French authors, including Bossuet and Bourdaloue, +Flechier and Massillon, Pascal and Fenelon, and the eloquent, Protestant +preacher and author, M. Saurin. I read the principal works both of +Catholics and Protestants, of the Fathers and Reformers, of Churchmen +and Dissenters, of Quakers and Mystics, of Methodists and Calvinists, of +Unitarians and Infidels. + +I read several works on Law and Government, including Puffendorf's Law +of Nature, Grotius on the Laws of Peace and War, Bodin on Government, +Montesquieu's Spirit of Laws, Blackstone's Commentaries, and Jeremy +Taylor's Ductor Dubitantium. I had read works on Anatomy, Physiology and +Medicine, when I could get hold of them, from the time when I was only +twelve years old. I never went far into any other sciences, yet I +studied, to some extent, Astronomy, Geology, Physical Geography, Botany, +Natural History, and Anthropology. I read Wesley's publication on +Natural Philosophy, and I gave more or less attention to every work on +science and natural philosophy that came in my way. Works on natural +religion and natural theology, in which science was taught and used in +subservience to Christian truth and duty, I read whenever I could get +hold of them. They interested me exceedingly. For works on Painting, +Sculpture, Architecture, I had not the least regard. They seemed to +have no tendency to help me in the work in which I was engaged, and I +had no desire to talk respectable nonsense on such subjects. I was fond +of Ecclesiastical and Civil History, and read most greedily such works +as threw light on the progress of society in learning, science, and +useful arts; in freedom, morals, religion and government. I read many of +the works of the ancient Greeks and Romans, and the history of the +wonderful periods in which they flourished. I was especially fond of +Cicero, Seneca, and Epictetus. All subjects bearing on the great +interests of mankind, and all works revealing the workings of the human +mind and the laws of human nature, seemed to me to bear important +relations to religion and the Bible; and the writings of the great +philosophers, lawyers, and historians, appeared to be almost as much in +my line as Baxter's Christian Directory, or Wesley's Notes on the New +Testament. + +Tales of wars and intrigues, and of royal and aristocratic vices and +follies I hated. Yet I was interested in accounts of religious +controversies, and read with eagerness, though with pain and horror, the +tragic and soul-harrowing stories of the deadly conflicts between +Christian piety and anti-Christian intolerance. Above all I loved +well-written books on the beneficial influence of Christianity on the +temporal interests and the general happiness of mankind. I liked good +biographies, especially of celebrated students, great philosophers, and +remarkable Christian philanthropists. Of works of fiction I read very +few, and evermore still fewer as I got older, until at length I came to +view them generally as a great nuisance. There are few, I suppose, that +can say they read the whole, not only of Wesley's works, but of his +Christian Library, in fifty volumes; yet I went through the whole, +though one of the books was so profound, or else so silly, that I could +not find one sentence in it that I could properly understand. I read the +greater part of the books of my friends. I went through nearly the whole +library of a village about two miles distant from my native place. My +native place itself could not boast a library in those days. I read +scores, if not hundreds of books that taught me nothing but the +ignorance and self-conceit of the writers, and the various forms of +literary and religious insanity to which poor weak humanity is liable. + +There was a large old Free Library at Newcastle-on-Tyne, left to the +city by a celebrated clergyman, which contained all the Fathers, all the +Greek and Roman Classics, all the more celebrated of the old Infidels, +all the old leading skeptical and lawless writers of Italy, and France, +and Holland, all the great old Church of England writers, and all the +leading writers of the Nonconformists, Dissenters, and Heretics of all +kinds. To this library I used to go, day after day, and stay from +morning to night, reading some of the great authors through, and +examining almost all of them sufficiently to enable me to see what there +was _in_ each, that I had not met with in the rest. Here I read Hobbes +and Machiavel, Bolingbroke and Shaftesbury, Tindal and Chubb. Here I +first saw the works of Cudworth and Chillingworth, and here too I first +found the entire works of Bacon and Newton, of Locke and Boyle. Here +also I read the works of some of the older defenders of the faith. +Grotius on the truth of the Christian religion I had read much earlier. +I had used it as a school book, translating it both out of Latin into +English, and out of English back into Latin, imprinting it thereby +almost word for word upon my memory. I had also read the work of his +commentator on the causes of incredulity. Leland on the deistical +writers, and Paley's Evidences, and others, I read after. But in this +great old library I met with numbers of interesting and important works +that I have never met with since. And here, in the dimly lighted +antiquated rooms, I used to fill my mind with a world of facts, and +thoughts, and fancies, and then go away to meditate upon them while +travelling on my way, or sitting in my room, or lying on my bed. Day and +night, alone and in company, these were the things which filled my mind +and exercised my thoughts. + +And having a rather retentive memory, and considerable powers of +imagination, I was able at times to bring almost all the things of +importance which I had met with in my reading, before my mind, and +compare them both with each other, and with all that was already in my +memory. And whatever appeared to me most rational, most scriptural, I +treasured for future use, allowing the rest to drift away into +forgetfulness. + +No one can imagine the happiness I found in this my search after truth, +except those who have experienced the like. I seemed at times to live in +a region of the highest and divinest bliss. Every fresh discovery of +truth, every detection of old error, every enlargement of my views, +brought unspeakable rapture; and had it not been for the +narrow-mindedness of some of my friends, the restraints of established +creeds, and the thought of the trials which my mental revels might some +day bring on me and my family, my life would have been a heaven on +earth. + +Perhaps I read too much, or too greedily and variously. Would it not in +any case have been better for me to have refrained from reading the +writings of such a host of heretics, infidels, and mere natural +philosophers? It is certain that what I attempted was too much for my +powers, and too vast for one man's life. But I was not sufficiently +conscious of the infinitude of truth, or of the narrow limits of my +powers, or of the infinite mysteries of which humanity and the universe +are full. And my desire for knowledge was infinite, and my appetite was +very keen, and I was so desirous to be right on every subject bearing on +the religion of Christ, and on the great interests of mankind, that +nothing that I could do seemed too much if it seemed likely to help me +in the attainment of my object. + +Then I had no considerate and enlightened guide; no friend, no +colleague, with a father's heart, to direct me in my studies or my +choice of books. There was one minister in the Body to which I belonged +that might have given me good counsel, if he had been at hand, but he +and I were never stationed in the same neighborhood. And he had suffered +so much on account of his superior intelligence and liberal tendencies, +that he might have felt unwilling to advise me freely. The preachers +generally could not understand me, and they had no sympathy with my +eager longings for religious knowledge. They could not comprehend what +in the world I could want beyond their own old stereotyped notions and +phrases, and the comfortable provision made for the supply of my +temporal wants. Why could I not check my thinking, enjoy my popularity, +and rejoice in the success of my labors? And when I could not take their +flippant counsels, they had nothing left but hints at unpleasant +consequences. There was nothing for me therefore, but to follow the +promptings of my own insatiate soul, and travel on alone in the fear of +God, hoping that things would get better, and my prospects grow brighter +by and by. + +So I moved on in my own track, still digging for truth as for silver, +and searching for it as for hidden treasure. And I worked unceasingly, +and with all my might. I lost no time. I hated pleasure parties, and all +kinds of amusements. My work was my amusement. I hated company, unless +the subject of conversation could be religion, or something pertaining +to it. When obliged to go out and take dinner, or tea, or supper, I +always took a book or two with me, and if the company were not inclined +to spend the time in useful conversation, I would slip away into some +quiet room, or take a walk, and spend my time in reading. I always read +on my walks and on my journeys, if the weather was fair, and on some +occasions when it was not fair. My mind was always on the stretch. I had +no idea that I needed rest or recreation. It never entered into my mind +that I could get to the end of my mental strength, and when I was +actually exhausted,--when I had wearied both body and mind to the +utmost, so that writing and even reading became irksome to me, I still +accused myself of idleness, instead of suspecting myself of weariness. I +wonder that I lived. If my constitution had not been sound and elastic +to the last degree, I should have worn myself out, and been silent in +the dust, more than thirty years ago. + +7. All the time that I was laboring to correct and enlarge my views of +Christian truth and duty, I was endeavoring to improve my way of +speaking and writing. I wished, of course, to be able to speak and write +correctly and forcibly, but what I longed for most of all, was to be +able to speak with the greatest possible plainness and simplicity to the +poorer and less favored classes. If there were things in Christianity +that were inexplicable mysteries, I had no wish to meddle with them at +all; if there was nothing but what was explicable, I wished to be able +to speak in such a manner as to make the whole subject of religion plain +to them. My belief was that there were _not_ any inexplicable mysteries +in Christianity; that though there were doctrines in Christianity which +had been mysteries in earlier times, they were mysteries now no longer, +but revelations; that the things which were inexplicable mysteries, +belonged to God, and that none but things that were revealed belonged to +us. My impression was, that all things spiritual could be made as plain +to people of common sense and honest hearts, as things natural; that all +that was necessary to this end, was first to separate from Christianity +all that was _not_ Christianity, and secondly, to translate Christianity +out of Latin and Greek, Hebrew and Gibberish, into the language of the +common people. + +To qualify myself for this work of translation was the next great object +of all my studies. Paul regarded the unnecessary use of unknown tongues +in the assemblies of the Church, as a great nuisance. He demanded that +everything said in those assemblies, should be spoken in a language that +all could understand. Whether men prayed, or sang, or preached, he +insisted that they should do it in such a manner as to make themselves +intelligible. His remarks on this subject are the perfection of wisdom, +and deserve more attention from religious teachers than they are +accustomed to receive. Paul's wish was, that Christians should not only +all speak the same things, but that they should speak them in the same +way, so that they might all be able to understand each other, and that +outsiders might be able to understand them all. "Above all gifts," says +he, "covet the gift of plain and intelligible speaking. Never use an +unknown tongue so long as you can use a known one. He that speaketh in +an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men but unto God: for no man +understandeth him. He may talk about very good things, but no one is the +better for his talk. But he that speaketh in a known tongue can be +understood by all; and all are instructed, and comforted, and +strengthened. And even God can understand a known tongue as well as an +unknown one. He that speaketh in an unknown tongue may edify himself +perhaps; but he that speaketh in a known one, edifieth the Church. I do +not grudge you your unknown tongues, but I had a great deal rather you +would use a known one; for greater is he that speaketh in a known one, +than he that speaketh in an unknown one. True greatness does not consist +in saying or doing things wonderful; but in saying and doing things +useful,--in talking and acting in a loving, condescending, +self-sacrificing spirit, with a view to the comfort and welfare of our +brethren. Suppose I were to come to you speaking in tongues that you did +not understand, what good should I do you, unless I should translate +what I said into a tongue you could understand? And why should I say a +thing twice over when saying it once would do as well, and even better? +Everything should be made as plain as possible from the first. When you +have made things as plain as you can, there will be some that will find +it as much as they can do to catch your meaning. If you talk in an +unknown tongue they cannot get at your meaning at all, but only sit, and +stare, and sigh. Some poor silly souls may admire and applaud you; for +there are always some who, when they hear a man that they cannot +understand, will cry out, What a great preacher! But what good or +sensible man would wish for the praise of such creatures as those? Talk +intelligibly. Talk so that folks can tell what you are talking about. If +you have nothing worth saying, hold your tongues. If you _have_ +something worth saying, say it so that people can understand it. Make +everything as clear as possible. We might as well be without tongues as +talk unintelligibly. Even things without life, giving sound, whether +pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it +be known what is piped or harped? For if the trumpet give an uncertain +sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? So likewise ye, except +ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be +known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air. There are, no one +knows how many voices in the world; and none of them without +signification. The voices of birds and the voices of beasts are endless +in variety; yet each has its own distinct intelligible meaning. All +creatures, though destitute of language like that of man, make +themselves properly understood by their mates, their kindred, and their +associates. They even make themselves intelligible to men. Talk of great +preachers;--why the man that cannot or will not preach so as to make +himself understood, is smaller, lower, less in the esteem of God, and +of good, sensible, Christian men and women, than the lowest animal, or +the smallest insect, on the face of the earth. Every sheep that bleats, +every ox that lows, every ass that brays, every bird that sings, and +every goose that gabbles, is more of a sage, if not more of a saint, +than the great preachers! The things so-called by a certain class of +simpletons, are about the most pitiable, if not the most blameable +creatures, in all God's universe. What then is the upshot of what I am +saying? It is this. Whether I sing, or pray, or talk, I will make myself +understood. I thank my God, I can speak with tongues more than you all; +and I _do_ speak with them when it is necessary to do so in order to +make myself understood: but in the Church, I had rather speak five words +in a tongue and a style that my hearers can understand, that by my voice +I may teach others, than ten thousand in an unknown tongue." + +And so the great, good, common-sense Apostle goes on. + +My wish and purpose were to carry out his principles to the farthest +possible extent. If I had tried hard, I could have preached in Latin. +With a little more effort I could have preached in Greek. I could have +preached in the ordinary, high-sounding, Frenchified, Latinized, mongrel +style, without an effort. It required an effort to keep clear of the +abomination. And I made the effort. I wanted to feel when speaking, that +I had not only myself a proper understanding of what I was talking +about, but that I was conveying correct and clear ideas of it to the +minds of my hearers. To utter words which I did not understand, or words +which I could not make my hearers understand, was a thing I could not +endure; and to this day, the very idea of such a thing excites in me a +kind of horror. I had no ambition to preach what were called great +sermons, or to be what was called a great preacher. My great desire was +not to astonish or confound people, but to do them good; to convey +religious truth to their minds in such a way, and so to impress it on +their hearts, that they might be converted, edified, and saved. + +When I first began to preach I had a cousin who was commencing his +career as a minister at the same time. _He_ was ambitious to shine, and +to astonish his hearers by a show of learning. He knew nothing of Latin +and Greek, but he was fond of great high-sounding words of Greek and +Latin origin. He carried about with him a pocket dictionary, which he +used for the purpose of turning little words into big ones, and common +ones into strange ones. My taste was just the contrary. My desire was to +be as simple as possible. Like my companion, I often carried about with +me a pocket dictionary, but the end for which _I_ used it was, to help +me to turn big words into little ones, and strange and hard ones into +common and easy ones. And whenever I had to consult a dictionary in +translating Latin, or Greek, or any other language, into English, I +always took the simplest and best known words I could find to give the +meaning of the original. My cousin's desire to shine betrayed him at +times into very ridiculous blunders. I once heard him say, after having +spent some time in explaining his text, "But that I may _devil-hope_ the +subject a little more fully, I would observe, that the words are +_mephitical_." He, of course, meant to say, _metaphorical_, figurative, +not _mephitical_ which means of a _bad smell_. My plan secured me +against such mistakes. + +To assist me in gaining a knowledge of the true meaning, and of the +right use of words, and to correct and simplify my style as much as +possible, I read whatever came in my way on grammar and philology, on +rhetoric and logic. I also collected a number of the best English +dictionaries, including a beautiful copy of Johnson's great work in two +thick quarto volumes. I read and studied the works of nearly all our +great poets, from Spenser and Shakespeare, down to Cowper and Burns. I +read two or three later ones. I had already committed to memory the +whole, or nearly the whole, of the moral songs of Dr. Watts; and many of +them keep their places in my memory to the present day. And though it +may seem incredible to some, I actually committed to memory every hymn +in the Wesleyan Hymn Book. I never knew them all off at one time, but I +got them all off in succession. And I never forgot the better, truer, +simpler, sweeter ones. I can repeat hundreds of them still, with the +exception of here and there a stanza or two. And I committed to memory +all the better portion of the new hymns introduced into the hymn book +by the Methodist New Connection. And I committed to memory choice pieces +of poetry without number. I read Shakespeare till I could quote many of +his best passages, including nearly all his soliloquies, and a number of +long conversations, as readily as I could quote the sacred writings. + +I read all Bunyan's works. I could tell the story of his Pilgrim from +beginning to end. I read Robinson Crusoe, and some of the other works of +Defoe. I read Addison and Johnson, Goldsmith and Swift. To get at the +origin and at the primitive meaning of words, I studied French and +German, as well as Latin and Greek. When I met with passages in English +authors that expressed great truths in a style that was not to my taste, +I used to translate them into my own style, just as I did fine passages +from Latin, Greek, or French authors. I also translated poetical +passages into prose. I tried sometimes to translate things into the +language of children, and in some cases I succeeded. I did my best to +keep in mind how I felt, and what I could understand, when I was a child +and a boy, and endeavored to keep my style as near as I could to the +level of my boyish understanding. My first superintendent did not +approve of my plan. "The proper way," said he, "is, not to go down to +the people; but to compel the people to come up to you." He was fond of +a swelling, high-sounding, long-winded style. How far he succeeded in +bringing people up to himself, I cannot say, but I recollect once +hearing a pupil of his talk a whole hour without uttering either a +thought or a feeling that was worth a straw. An old woman, with whom he +had once lived, and with whom he was a great favorite, said to me after +the service, 'Well, how did you like our young man?' 'He talked away,' +said I. 'I think he did,' she answered, 'he grows better and better. _I_ +couldn't understand him.' His teacher, my superintendent, published a +volume of sermons; but I never met with anybody that had read them. I +read one or two of them myself, and was astonished;--perhaps not so much +astonished as something else,--to find, that at the end of one of his +tall-worded, long-winded, round-about sentences, he contradicted what he +had said at the beginning. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +CHANGES IN THE AUTHOR'S VIEWS. + + +My studies led me to make considerable changes both in my views and way +of speaking. + +1. With regard to my views. I found that some of the doctrines which I +had been taught as Christian doctrines, were not so much as hinted at by +Christ and His Apostles,--that some doctrines which Christ and His +Apostles taught with great plainness, I never had been taught at all; +and that some of the doctrines of Christ and His Apostles which I had +been taught, I had been taught in very different forms from those in +which they were presented in the New Testament. + +I found that some doctrines which I had been taught as doctrines of the +greatest importance, were never so much as alluded to in the whole +Bible, while in numbers of places quite contrary doctrines were taught. +While unscriptural doctrines were inculcated as fundamental doctrines of +the Gospel, some of the fundamental doctrines themselves were not only +neglected, but denounced as grievous heresies. + +Many passages of Scripture which were perfectly plain when left to speak +out their own meaning, had been used so badly by theologians, that they +had become unintelligible to ordinary Christians. While professing to +give the passages needful explanations, they had heaped upon them +impenetrable obscurations. Words that, as they came from Jesus, were +spirit and life, had been so grievously perverted, that they had become +meaningless or mischievous. + +I met with passages which had been used as proofs of doctrines to which +they had not the slightest reference. There were the words of Jeremiah +for instance: "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his +spots?" The prophet is speaking of the impossibility of men, after long +continuance in wilful sin, breaking off their bad habits; as the closing +words of the passage show; "Then may ye who are _accustomed_ to do evil, +do well." But the theologians took the words and used them in support of +the doctrine that no man in his unconverted state can do anything +towards his salvation,--a doctrine which is neither Scriptural nor +rational. Again; Isaiah, referring to the calamitous condition of the +Jewish nation, in consequence of God's judgments, says: "The whole head +is sick, and the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot to the +head, there is no soundness; but wounds, and bruises, and putrefying +sores," &c. This, which the prophet said with regard to the _state_ of +the _Jews_, the theologians applied to the _character_, not of the Jews +only, but of _all mankind_. What Paul said about the law of Moses, and +the works or deeds required by that law, the theologians applied to the +law of Christ. And so with regard to multitudes of passages. I was +constantly coming across passages that the theologians systematically +perverted, taking them from their proper use and meaning, and forcing +them into the support of notions to which they had not the slightest +reference. The liberties taken with the words of Paul went far towards +turning the writings of that great advocate and example of holiness into +lessons of licentiousness. + +It was plain that, on many points, theology was one thing, and +Christianity another; and that many and important changes would have to +be made in the creeds and confessions of Christendom, before they could +be brought into harmony with the truth as taught by Jesus. + +Some theological doctrines I found rested on the authority of Milton's +Paradise Lost, or of the Church of England Prayer Book, or on the +authority of earlier works from which Milton or the authors of the +Prayer Book had borrowed. + +One day, about forty-two years ago, I was travelling homewards from +Shields to Blyth on foot, when a man with a cart overtook me, and asked +me to get in and ride. I did so. The man and I were soon busy discussing +theology. We talked on saving faith, imputed righteousness, +predestination, divine foreknowledge, election, reprobation and +redemption. We differed on every point, and the man got very warm. He +then spake of a covenant made between God the Father and His Son before +the creation of the world, giving me all the particulars of the +engagement. I told him I had read something about a covenant of that +kind in Milton's Paradise Lost, but that I had never met with anything +on the subject in the sacred writings, and added that I doubted whether +any such transaction ever took place. He got more excited than ever, and +expressed some uneasiness at having such a blasphemous heretic in his +cart. Just then one of the cart wheels came off and down went the +vehicle on one side, spilling me and the driver on the road. I was +quickly on my feet, but he lay on his back sprawling in the sand. +"That's a judgment," said he, "on your blasphemies." "You seem to have +got the worst part of the judgment," said I. I asked him if I could help +him. He seemed to hint that I ought to pay for the damage done to the +cart; but as that was not in the covenant, I did not take the hint; and +as he was in a somewhat unamiable temper, I left him to himself, and +trudged on homeward. The carter and I had no more discussions on +covenants. But many a bit of theology has been built on Milton since +then. + +Other doctrines I found to be new versions of old pagan imaginations. + +Some seemed to have originated in the selfish and sensual principles of +human nature, which make men wishful to avoid self-denial and a life of +beneficence, and to find some easy way to heaven. + +In some cases Protestants had run into extremes through a hatred and +horror of Popery, while in others orthodox teachers had run into +extremes through hatred and dread of Socinianism. + +In other cases doctrines seemed to have been rested on no authority but +the facts, or supposed facts, of individual experiences. + +Some great doctrines were rendered incomprehensible, repulsive, or +incredible, in consequence of not being accompanied with other +doctrines, which were necessary to explain their use, and make manifest +their reasonableness and worth. There was no lack of attention among +theologians to the doctrine that Christ was an incarnation of the Deity; +but little or no regard was paid to the kindred doctrine, its necessary +accompaniment, that Jesus was the 'image,' the 'likeness,' of God, the +revelation or manifestation of His character. Yet this is essential to a +right understanding and a due appreciation of the other. The revelation +or manifestation of God, and especially of His eternal and infinite +love, was the great design and end of the incarnation. Taken apart from +this doctrine the incarnation becomes a dry hard fact, without use or +meaning. It is when viewed as a means of revealing God,--of making +manifest His infinite goodness, and by that means melting and purifying +man's heart, and transforming his character, that it is seen to be full +of interest and power and glory. + +The doctrine that Jesus is God's image, God manifest in the flesh, is +the one great doctrine of Christianity,--the sum, the substance of the +whole Gospel,--the Gospel itself,--the power of God to the salvation of +every one that truly believes and contemplates it. It is a world of +truth in one,--a whole encyclopædia of divine philosophy; the perfection +of all wisdom and of all power; the one great revelation needful to the +salvation of the world. + +Yet I never met with this doctrine for the first thirty years of my +life, in any theological work. I have no recollection that I ever heard +it mentioned in a sermon. I certainly never heard it explained and +applied to the great purposes for which it was designed. I never was +told that to know the character of God, I had only to look at the +character of Christ,--that what Christ was during His life on earth in +the circle in which He moved, that God was throughout all worlds, and +towards all the creatures of His hands,--that the love which led Jesus +to suffer and die for the salvation of the world, lived and moved in the +heart of the infinite, invisible God, prompting Him to plan and labor +throughout immensity to promote the happiness of the whole creation. In +short, the Gospel was never preached to me in its simplicity and beauty, +in its glory and power, nor was it ever properly explained to me in +catechism, creed, confession, or body of divinity. + +And generally, no sufficient stress was ever laid by theologians on the +value and necessity of personal virtue,--of religious and moral +goodness. It was believed that Christians would _have_ goodness of some +kind, in some degree,--that they would be, on the whole, in some +respects, better than the ungodly world; and there was a feeling that +they _ought_ to be so: but it was rare to meet with a preacher or a +book that put the subject in any thing like a Scriptural Christian +light. No one contended that goodness was everything, that it was the +one great all-glorious object for which the world was made, for which +the universe was upheld, for which prophets spake, for which the +Scriptures were written, for which God became incarnate, for which Jesus +lived and labored, for which He suffered and died, for which He founded +His Church and appointed and endowed its ministers, for which Providence +planned, and for which all things continued to exist. No one taught that +goodness was the only thing for which God cared, the only thing which He +esteemed and loved, and the only thing He would reward and bless. Books +and preachers did not use to tell us, that faith, and knowledge, and +feeling,--that repentance, conversion, and sanctification,--that reading +the Scriptures, and hearing sermons, and singing hymns, and offering +prayers,--that church fellowship, and religious ordinances, were all +nothing except so far as they tended to make people good, and then to +make them better, and at last to perfect them in all divine and human +excellence. No one taught us that goodness was beauty, that goodness was +greatness, that goodness was glory, that goodness was happiness, that +goodness was heaven. The truth was never pressed on us that the want of +goodness was deformity, dishonor and shame,--that it was pain, and +wretchedness, and torment, and death,--that goodness in full measure +would make earth heaven--that its decline and disappearance would make +earth hell. Yet a careful and long-continued perusal of the Scriptures +left the impression on my mind, that this was really the case. When I +compared the eternal talk about all our goodness being of no account in +the sight of God,--of all our righteousness being but as filthy +rags,--with the teachings of Scripture, I felt as if theologians were +anti-christ, and their theology the gospel of the wicked one. I have no +wish to do injustice to theology, or to theologians either; but the more +I knew of them, the less I thought of them. And even when the Christian +and theologian got blended, as they did, to some extent, in such men as +Baxter and Wesley, I pitied the theologian while I esteemed and loved +the Christian. Theological works are poor contemptible things. It would +have been no great loss to the world if nineteen-twentieths of them had +been burnt in the Chicago fire. + +I was often grievously harassed with prevailing theories of Scripture +inspiration. All those theories seemed inconsistent with +facts,--inconsistent with what every man of any information, knew to be +true in reference to the Scriptures. They all lay open to infidel +objections,--unanswerable objections. They made it impossible for a man +to argue with the abler and better informed class of infidel assailants +with the success and satisfaction desirable. The theories did not +_admit_ of a successful defence. And when the theories were refuted, the +Bible and Christianity suffered. On searching the Scriptures I found +they gave no countenance to those theories. They taught the _doctrine_ +of Scripture inspiration, but not the prevailing _theories_ of the +doctrine. The doctrine I could defend with ease: the defence of the +theories was impossible. I accordingly laid aside the theories. + +Again; I heard and read continually about the influence and work of the +Holy Spirit; but I seldom heard and read of the influence of the truth. +Yet in Scripture we read as much and as often of the latter as of the +former. + +I had been led, in some way, to believe that Adam was the federal head +of all mankind,--that God made a covenant with him that was binding on +all his posterity,--that the destinies of the whole human race were +placed in his hands,--that it was so arranged that if Adam did right, +his posterity were to be born in a state of perfection and blessedness, +incapable of sin and misery,--that if he did wrong they were to be born +depraved and miserable, under the curse of God, and liable to death and +damnation--that as Adam did do wrong, we all came into the world so +depraved that we were incapable of thinking a good thought, of feeling a +good desire, of speaking a right word, or of doing a right thing,--that +Jesus came into the world to redeem us from the guilt of Adam's sin, and +from the punishment due to us for that sin, and to put us on such a +footing with regard to God as to render possible our salvation. I had +been led to believe a hundred other things connected with these about +the plan of redemption, the way of salvation, imputed righteousness, +saving faith, &c. When I came to look for those doctrines in the Bible, +I could not find one of them from the beginning of the Book to the end. +I was in consequence led to regard them as the imaginations of +unthinking, trifling, or dreamy theologians. + +There are few doctrines more generally received than the doctrine of +types,--the doctrine that persons and things under the older +dispensations were intended to direct the minds of those who saw them to +things corresponding to them under the Christian dispensation. In +McEwen's work on Types, which appears to have had an immense +circulation, is this sentence,--'That the grand doctrines of +Christianity concerning the mediation of Christ, &c., were typically +_manifested_ to the church by a variety of ceremonies, persons and +events, under the Old Testament dispensation, is past doubt.' And it is +very plainly intimated, that those who affect to call this notion in +question, and yet pretend to be friends of a divine revelation, are +hypocrites. It is added: 'The sacrifices were ordained to pre-figure +Christ,--and were professions of faith in His propitiation.' + +There are but few preachers or religious books which do not go on the +supposition that this doctrine is taught in Scripture. And you may hear +sermon after sermon from some preachers, the chief object of which is to +point out correspondences between the paschal lamb, the scape-goat, and +other sacrifices under the Law, and Jesus and the sacrifice which He +offered. Some preachers and religious writers take almost all things +under the law to be types of Christ, or types of things pertaining to +Him. They make Noah, and Isaac, and Melchisedec, and Joseph, and Moses, +and Joshua, and David, and Samson, and Solomon, and the brazen serpent, +and the rod of Aaron, and the manna, types of Christ, and almost all the +sacrifices they make types of His great sacrifice of Himself. + +I could see no warrant for this doctrine. I could find no proof that any +of the sacrifices under the law were intended to direct the minds of +those who offered them to the sacrifice of Jesus. There is nothing in +the law, and there is nothing in the prophets to that effect. There is +no passage of Scripture which says that any one ever _did_ look through +the old Levitical sacrifices to Christ. There is no passage which says +it was men's duty to do so; none which commends any one for doing so, +or which blames any one for not doing so. The prophets often rebuke the +Israelites for their injustice, intemperance, deceit and cruelty, but +they never rebuke them for not looking through their sacrifices to the +sacrifice of Jesus. They often exhort people to 'cease to do evil and +learn to do well;' but they never urge them to regard their sacrifices +as types or manifestations of the sacrifice of Christ. Christ nowhere +teaches the ordinary doctrine of types. He never refers to anything as a +type of His sacrifice, or of anything else connected with His work. Nor +do the Apostles say anything to countenance the prevailing notion. For +anything the Scriptures say to the contrary, the whole doctrine of +types, as set forth in such books as that of McEwen, is a human fiction. +Indeed, I see no hint in Scripture that any one had the least idea that +the Messiah would offer Himself a sacrifice for sin till after the +sacrifice had taken place. Isaiah and Daniel spake on the subject, and +'They inquired and searched diligently,' says Peter, 'what, or what +manner of time the spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when +it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ and the glory that +should follow; unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but +unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by +them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent +down from Heaven.' And we know that Christ's own disciples did not +believe that Christ would die at all. So far were they from having any +thought of such a thing, that when Jesus told them, in the plainest +words imaginable, they did not understand Him. The fact had to reveal +itself. And even now the nature and end of Christ's sacrifice are but +very imperfectly understood. + +And if the doctrine of types falls to the ground, some other doctrines, +which rest upon it, must go down. Certain notions about the faith of the +ancient saints must give way, and the views of saving faith presented in +the eleventh chapter of the Epistle to the Hebrews must take their +place. + +Great numbers of religious teachers and writers attribute to Adam and +Eve, in their first state, an amount of knowledge, and a perfection of +righteousness, which the Scriptures nowhere ascribe to them, and which, +if they had possessed them, would have rendered it impossible, one +would think, that they should have yielded so readily to temptation. + +They represent the first sin as having effects which are never +attributed to it in the Bible. + +They give an unwarrantable meaning to the word death contained in the +first threatening. + +They attribute to man's first sin inconveniences of the seasons, and of +the different climates of the globe, as well as a thousand things on the +earth's surface, and in the dispositions and habits of the lower +animals, which are not attributed _to_ that cause by the sacred writers. + +They spend a vast amount of time and words in trying to prove that the +reason why Abel's sacrifice was more excellent than that of Cain, and +was accepted by God, was that Abel offered animals, and had an eye to +the sacrifice of Christ, while Cain offered only the fruits of the +ground, that did not typify or symbolize that sacrifice; a notion for +which there is no authority in Scripture. The story in Genesis seems to +intimate that the sacrifice of Cain was rejected because he was a +bad-living man, and that the sacrifice of Abel was accepted because he +was a good-living man. Hence the words of God in His address to Cain, +'Why art thou wroth? And why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest +well shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth +at the door.' And hence too the statement of John, that Cain slew his +brother because his own works were evil and his brother's righteous. And +the faith attributed to Abel, as well as to Enoch, Moses and others, in +the Epistle to the Hebrews, is not faith in the sacrifice of Christ, but +simply a belief in God; a belief that 'He _is_, and that He is a +rewarder of them that diligently seek Him, or lovingly serve Him.' + +There were many definitions and descriptions of saving faith common in +religious books for which I could find no authority in Scripture. + +I also met with a multitude of cold hard things about the Trinity and +the Atonement in works on Theology which I never was unhappy enough to +find in the Bible. All seemed pleasant and natural and of heavenly +tendency there. I read books which seemed to require me to believe in +three Gods; but I met with nothing of the kind in Scripture. I heard +prayers and forms of benediction worded in a way altogether different +from the prayers and benedictions found in the Bible. The Scriptures +allowed me to think of God, in the first place, as one, as I myself was +one. They did not tell me He was three in the same way as I was three; +but they left the doctrine of the Trinity in such a state or shape that +I found no more difficulty in receiving it, than I found in receiving +the fact of a Trinity in myself. I left accordingly the hard repulsive +representations of the theologians to their fate, and accepted and +contented myself with the living, rational and practical representations +of Scripture in their stead. + +The work of Christ was generally represented by theologians as exerting +its influence directly on God. His death was generally spoken of as a +satisfaction to divine justice, or as an expedient for harmonizing the +divine attributes, or maintaining the principles of the divine +government. God was represented as being placed in a difficulty,--as +being unable to gratify His love in forgiving men on their repenting and +turning to Him, without violating His justice and His truth, and putting +in peril the principles of His government. There were several other +theological theories of the design or object of the death of Christ. All +these theories may be true in a certain sense. They may, perhaps, be so +explained as to make them harmonize with the teachings of Scripture. But +I found none of them in the Bible. I found multitudes of passages which +represented the death and sufferings of Christ as intended to influence +men, but not one that taught any of the theological theories,--hardly +one that even seemed to do so. Here again I took the Scripture +representations, and allowed the theological ones to slide. + +There was a hymn which said of Christ, 'Our debt He has paid, and our +work He has done.' I could find nothing in Scripture about the Saviour +paying our debt, or doing our work. I could find passages which taught +that our debts or sins might be _forgiven_, on our return to God. So far +were the Scriptures from teaching that Christ had done our work, that +they represented Him as coming into the world to fit us to do it +ourselves,--as redeeming us and creating us anew that we might be +zealous of good works. + +I could find nothing in Scripture to countenance the common notion about +the efficacy of the death-bed repentances of old, wilful, hardened +sinners. The Bible left on my mind the impression that 'whatsoever a man +soweth, that shall he also reap.' + +Some preachers and writers spoke as if God the Father was sterner, less +tender and loving, than the Son. But as we have seen, the Bible taught +that Jesus was God's image, His likeness, the incarnation and revelation +of God,--God manifest in the flesh. + +I read in books, and heard it said in sermons, that God did not answer +men's prayers, or grant them any blessing, or receive them at last to +heaven, on account of anything good in themselves, or of anything good +they did. Yet on looking through the Scriptures I found such passages as +these: 'Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, _then_ have we confidence +toward God. And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep +His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.' +In the parable of the talents I found God represented as saying, 'Well +done, thou good and faithful servant, because thou hast been faithful in +a very little, have thou authority over ten cities.' And in the Prophet +I read, 'Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness +that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he +shall save his soul alive. Because he considereth and turneth away from +all his transgressions that he hath committed, he shall surely live, he +shall not die.' I found the whole Bible going on the same principle. God +loves what is good for its own sake. It would be strange if He did not. +And how any one can think He is honoring God by teaching the contrary we +cannot understand. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +JOHN WESLEY AND HIS VIEWS ON CERTAIN POINTS. + + +How easy it is for men to mix up their own fancies, or the vain conceits +of others, with divine truth,--or rather, how hard it is to _avoid_ +doing so,--we may see by the case of John Wesley. Wesley was one of the +most devout, and conscientious, and, on the whole, one of the most +rational, Scriptural, practical and common-sense men the Christian +Church ever had. Compared with theologians generally, he was worthy of +the highest praise. He had the greatest reverence for the Scriptures. He +early in life declared it to be his determination to be _a man of one +Book_, and that one book the BIBLE; and he acted in accordance +with this determination to the best of his knowledge and ability. The +Bible was his sole authority. Its testimony decided all questions, +settled all controversies. Yet such was the influence of prevailing +custom in the theological world, operating on his mind unconsciously +from his earliest days, that he unintentionally acted inconsistently +with this good resolution in cases without number. Shakespeare makes one +of his characters say, "If to do, were as easy as to know what is +fittest to be done, beggars would ride on horses, and poor men's +cottages would be princes' palaces. I could more easily tell twenty men +what it was best to do, than be one of the twenty to carry out my own +instructions." And we need no better proof or illustration of the truth +of this wise saying, than the case of the good and great John Wesley. + +We have seen what his resolution was. Look now at one or two of his +sermons. Take first the sermon on God's Approbation of His Works. In +that discourse, referring to the primeval earth, he speaks as follows: +"The _whole surface_ of it was beautiful in a high degree. The +_universal face_ was clothed with living green. And every part was +_fertile_ as well as beautiful. It was no where deformed by rough or +ragged rocks: it did not shock the view with horrid precipices, huge +chasms, or dreary caverns: with deep, impassable morasses, or deserts +of barren sands. We have not any authority to say, with some learned and +ingenious authors, that there were no _mountains_ on the original earth, +no unevennesses on its surface, yet it is highly probable that they rose +and fell, by almost insensible degrees. + +"There were no agitations within the bowels of the globe: no violent +convulsions: no concussions of the earth: no earthquakes: but all was +unmoved as the pillars of heaven. There were then no such things as +eruptions of fire: there were no volcanoes, or burning mountains. +Neither Vesuvius, Etna, nor Hecla, if they had any being, then poured +out smoke and flame, but were covered with a verdant mantle, from the +top to the bottom. + +"It is probable there was no external sea in the paradisiacal earth: +none, until the great deep burst the barriers which were originally +appointed for it; indeed there was not then that need of the ocean for +_navigation_ which there is now. For either every country produced +whatever was requisite either for the necessity or comfort of its +inhabitants; or man being then (as he will be again at the resurrection) +equal to the angels, was able to convey himself, at his pleasure, to any +given distance. + +"There were no putrid lakes, no turbid or stagnating waters. The element +of _air_ was then always serene, and always friendly to man. It +contained no frightful meteors, no unwholesome vapors, no poisonous +exhalations. There were no tempests, but only cool and gentle breezes, +fanning both man and beast, and wafting the fragrant odors on their +silent wings. + +"The sun, the fountain of _fire_, 'Of this great world both eye and +soul,' was situated at the most exact distance from the earth, so as to +yield a sufficient quantity of heat, (neither too little nor too much) +to _every part of it_. God had not yet 'Bid his angels turn askance this +oblique globe.' There was, therefore, then no country that groaned under +'The rage of Arctos, and eternal frost.' There was no violent winter, or +sultry summer; no extreme either of heat or cold. No soil was burned up +by the solar heat: none uninhabitable through the want of it. + +"There were then no impetuous currents of air, no tempestuous winds, no +furious hail, no torrents of rain, no rolling thunders or forky +lightnings. _One perennial spring was perpetually smiling over the whole +surface of the earth._" + +Speaking of vegetable productions, he says, + +"There were no weeds, no plants that encumbered the ground. Much less +were there any _poisonous_ ones, tending to hurt any one creature." + +Referring to the living creatures of the sea, he says, + +"None of these then attempted to devour, or in any wise hurt one +another. All were peaceful and quiet, as were the watery fields wherein +they ranged at pleasure." + +Referring to insects, he adds, + +"The spider was then as harmless as the fly, and did not then lie in +wait for blood. The weakest of them crept securely over the earth, or +spread their gilded wings in the air, that wavered in the breeze and +glittered in the sun, without any to make them afraid. Meantime, the +reptiles of every kind were equally harmless, and more intelligent than +they." + +Referring to birds and beasts, he says, + +"Among all these there were no birds or beasts of prey: none that +destroyed or molested another." + +All this may be very beautiful poetry, such as one might expect from the +"fine frenzy" of a loving, lawless genius, but it is not Scripture, nor +is it science or philosophy. We have not a doubt but that God made all +things _right_,--that all His works were very _good_; the Scriptures +tell us that very plainly: but they do _not_ tell us that the things +named by Wesley constituted their goodness. _He_ thinks that the earth +could not be good if it had on its surface rough or rugged rocks, horrid +precipices, huge chasms, or dreary caverns, with impassable morasses, or +deserts of barren sands. _We_ think _otherwise_. _We_ think the earth is +all the _better_, and even all the more _beautiful_ for rough and rugged +rocks, for horrid precipices, huge chasms, and dreary caverns. So far +from regarding the rough and rugged rocks as deformities, we look on +them as ornaments. So far from appearing to us as an evil, they appear a +good. Even the impassable morasses, and the deserts of barren sands may +have their use. If man had met with nothing in the state of the earth +that stood in the way of his will or pleasure; if he had met with +nothing in the shape of difficulty or inconvenience, it would have been +a terrible calamity. All man's powers are developed and perfected by +exertion; and without exertion,--without vigorous exertion--he would +not, as at present constituted, be capable of enjoying life. Man cannot +be happy without work. We therefore believe that it was wise and kind in +God, independent of Adam's sin, to make impassable morasses, and barren +deserts, &c., to exercise man's powers of mind and body in _draining_ +the morasses, and _fertilizing_ the deserts. We believe that the earth +was very good; but we believe that the rough and rugged rocks, the +horrid precipices, huge chasms, dreary caverns, with the deep impassable +morasses, and the deserts of barren sands, were _parts_ of the earth's +goodness,--were manifestations both of the wisdom and goodness of God. + +Wesley thinks there _were_ mountains on the earth before sin was +committed, but that their sides were not _abrupt_ or _difficult of +ascent_; that they rose and fell by almost _insensible degrees_. This +passage also goes on the false supposition, that whatever things would +be likely to render great exertion necessary on the part of man, would +be an evil; whereas such things are among man's greatest blessings. + +Wesley farther tells us, that there were no agitations within the bowels +of the earth, no violent convulsions, no concussions of the earth, no +earthquakes, no eruptions of fire, no volcanoes, or burning mountains. +There is proof however, that there were _all_ these things, not only +_before sin was committed_, but _before man himself was created_. + +Nor do we regard earthquakes and volcanoes as evils. They are calculated +even at the present to answer good ends. They tend to make men feel +their absolute dependence upon God, and thus lead them to obey His law. +They are sinking revelations of God's power, and perpetual lessons of +piety. And they have other uses. + +He says, "If Vesuvius, Etna, or Hecla, existed before sin was committed, +they were covered with a verdant mantle from the top to the bottom." But +is a mountain either better or more beautiful for being covered with a +verdant mantle from the top to the bottom? Is it either better or more +beautiful for having no abrupt sides, difficult of ascent,--for rising +and falling by almost insensible degrees? We think the contrary. The +variety of scenery presented by mountains in their present state, is +most beautiful. The abruptness of the sides of mountains contributes +infinitely both to the beauty of the mountain, and to the beauty of the +earth in general; and the toil of climbing up the steep ascent of a +mountain is one of the blessings and pleasures of life. We should be +sorry if there were no hills so steep as to be difficult of ascent. We +should be sorry if the earth had no mountains with abrupt sides, and +black, and brown, and rugged faces. We should be very sorry if the face +of the earth were covered with one unvaried mantle of green. Green is +very pleasant, and it is well that the greater part of the earth is +covered with green; but variety also is pleasant; and green itself would +cease to be pleasant if there were nothing else but green. + +Wesley adds, that there was probably no sea on the surface of the earth +in its paradisiacal state, none until the great deep burst the barriers +which were originally appointed for it; and he adds, that there was not +then that need of the ocean for navigation which there is now, as every +place yielded all that was necessary to man's welfare and pleasure. We +answer. The idea that the ocean was given to facilitate communication +between different nations, makes us smile. Suppose there had been no +ocean, should we have had a long way to go to get into the next country, +the country nearest to us? Just the contrary. If there had been no +ocean, there would have been land in its place, and we should neither +have had to cross water nor land to get to it. It would have come up +close to our own country. We have all the same travelling in order to +have communication with the inhabitants of other countries when we have +crossed the ocean, that we should have had, to obtain communication with +neighboring countries, if there had been no ocean at all. The ocean was +intended for _other_ purposes. The use of the ocean, one of its +_principal_ uses at least, is to temper the climates and seasons of the +earth. If the earth were one unbroken continent, the summers would be +intolerably hot, and the winters would be intolerably cold, and the +changes from winter to summer would be so violent, and work such fearful +havoc, as to render the earth uninhabitable. By means of the _ocean_, +those intolerable inconveniences are avoided. The sea, which is never +so cold in winter as the land, tempers the air as it blows over it, and +thus moderates the cold of the land. The sea also, which is never so +warm in summer as the land, tempers the air again, and breathes coolness +and freshness over the heated land. Neither heat nor cold affects the +sea so suddenly or so violently as it affects the land. A few days of +summer heat are sufficient to make the solid earth quite hot,--so hot, +in many cases, that you cannot bear your naked hand upon it long. Yet +this same amount of summer heat will make scarcely any perceptible +difference in the waters of the ocean. Then again, in winter, a few days +severe frost will make the solid earth, and especially the stones and +metals, so cold, that they would blister a delicate skin, if pressed +against them; while they make scarcely any perceptible difference upon +the waters of the ocean. The ocean sits on its low throne like the +monarch of this lower world, controlling the elements, tempering the +heat and the cold, and thus preserving the earth and its living +inhabitants from harm. + +Wesley tells us farther, that before the sin of Adam, "The air was +always serene and always friendly to man." Now the air is still always +_friendly to man_. Even when it comes in the form of hurricanes and +tempests, it is so. It is doing work, even then, _good work_, which +gentle breezes are _unable_ to do. It is carrying away dangers which +gentler currents of air would not have the power to carry away. And even +when they cause destruction in their course, they are still performing +friendly offices to man. They are inspiring him with a livelier +consciousness of his absolute dependence upon God, and of the folly of +resisting His will. They are exercising his intellectual powers, by +leading him to devise means for his protection from their fury, and +obliging him also to exert his bodily powers in carrying out the devices +of his intellect. They are, in fact, contributing to make him a wiser, a +stronger, a better, a happier, and in all respects, a completer, and a +diviner being than he otherwise would be. We agree therefore with Wesley +that the air before Adam sinned was always _friendly to man_; but we do +not agree with him in his notions as to what _constituted_ its +friendliness; nor do we agree with him in the notion, that since the +sin of Adam the air has _ceased_ to be friendly, or even proved to be +_less_ friendly, to man. We believe that the air is as friendly to man +now as it ever was,--that it does him as little mischief, that it +contributes as much to his well-being and comfort, as it ever did. + +Wesley further says, the sun was situated at the most exact distance +from the earth, so as to yield a sufficient quantity of heat, neither +too little nor too much, to every part of it. Ho further intimates that +there was at first no inclination of the earth's axis, and that the +seasons and the degree of heat and cold were, in consequence, the same +all the world over, and all the year round. All these statements seem +erroneous in the extreme. The supply of heat to the different parts of +the earth does not depend altogether on the distance of the sun from the +earth, as Wesley intimates, but on the motions of the earth around the +sun and upon its own axis. Wesley seems to imagine that if the axis of +the earth were not inclined, or elevated at one end, the earth would +receive from the sun the same quantity of heat through every part; +whereas nothing could be farther from the truth. If, as Wesley expresses +it, "This oblique globe had not been turned askance," some parts of the +earth would have received from the sun scarcely any heat at all; they +would have received neither light nor heat, except in such slight +measures as to be altogether useless. The arctic regions and the +antarctic regions must have been alike uninhabitable. That turning of +the oblique globe askance, which Wesley represents as the cause of +extreme heat and cold, was the very thing to _prevent_ those extremes, +or to reduce them to the lowest possible point, and to secure to every +part of the globe, as _far as possible_, an _equal_ amount of light and +warmth. I say _as far as possible_; for to secure to every part of the +earth exactly the same amount of light and heat from one sun, is +impossible. Place a little globe in what position you will with respect +to a neighboring candle, and fix the axis of that globe as you please, +and move that globe; give the globe a motion upon its own axis, and +another motion round the light near which it is placed, and you will +find it impossible to secure to every part of that globe exactly the +same amount of light and heat. By inclining the axis of the globe, or as +Wesley expresses it, turning it askance, as the axis of the earth is +inclined or turned askance, you may secure the _greatest possible +equality_ of light and heat to every part; but still that greatest +possible equality will be a considerable _inequality_. So far, +therefore, from the polar regions being made colder or darker by the +globe being turned askance, they are indebted to that very obliqueness +of the earth's axis, and that apparent irregularity of its motions, for +the chief portion of that light and heat which they receive. How Wesley +came to speak so erroneously on this subject, I am at a loss to know, as +he must, one would think, have understood the first elements of +geography and astronomy. Yet his words are at variance with the first +elements of those popular sciences. + +But it would take up too much room to notice all the unauthorized +statements of Mr. Wesley on this subject. We have said enough to show +how the most conscientious and best-intentioned man may err on +theological subjects, and what need young Christians have to be somewhat +critical and careful in adopting and testing their religious opinions. +There are other sermons of Wesley which are as much at variance with +Scripture as the one we have had under notice. I have not his sermons at +hand just now, but if I remember right, his remarks on the righteousness +of the Scribes and Pharisees, in his sermon on that subject, are quite +at variance with the statements of Christ. + +And Wesley was one of the best, one of the most honest and +conscientious, one of the most single-minded men on the face of the +earth. No man, I imagine, was ever more anxious to be right,--no one was +ever more desirous to know and teach God's truth in all its purity, and +in everything to do God's will and bless mankind. And he knew and chose +the right standard of truth and goodness, and honestly endeavored to +conform to it both in thought and deed and word. Yet he could err in +this strange and wholesale way. What then may we expect from other +theological writers? Many of the theologians whose writings influence +the Church were _not_ very good men; they were selfish, ambitious, proud +and worldly. Some were idle, dreamy, careless, godless. And others, who +were piously disposed, never deliberately adopted the Bible as their +rule of faith and practice. They never set themselves to conform to it, +as the standard of truth and goodness. They adopted or inherited the +faiths or traditions of their predecessors, never suspecting them of +error, and never inquiring whether they were true or not. The idea of +testing or correcting either their way of thinking or their way of +talking on religious subjects, by the teachings of Christ, never entered +their minds. They lived at ease, dreaming rather than thinking, and +talking in their sleep, and filling great folios with their idle +utterances. What kind of thoughts, and what kind of words were we likely +to find in the writings of men like these? Robert Hall is reported to +have described the works of the celebrated John Owen as "A CONTINENT OF +MUD." There are others whose writings might be justly described as +volumes of smoke. Mere wind they are not, but foul, black, blinding +smoke. And writings of this description are published or republished in +great quantities to the present day. And people read them, and fill +themselves with wind and filthy fumes, and wrap themselves in smoky, +pitchy clouds, and go through the world in a spiritual darkness thick +enough to be felt. + +This smoke, this blackness and darkness, I could not endure. I was +anxious beyond measure to free myself from its bewildering and blinding +power, and to get into the clear fresh air, and the bright and cheerful +light, of simple Christian truth. And hence the freedom and eagerness of +my investigations, and the liberty I took in modifying my belief. + +It may be said that many of the doctrines which I have set down as +unscriptural, are of little importance; and that is really the case. We +ought, therefore, to be the more ready to give them up. Why contend for +doctrines of no moment? But some of them _are_ important. They are +revolting and mischievous errors, and when they are regarded as parts of +Christianity, they tend to make men infidels. And in many cases they +stagger the faith, and lessen the comfort, and injure the souls of +Christians. And even the less important ones do harm when taken to be +parts of the religion of Christ. You cannot make thoughtful, +sharp-visioned men believe that Jesus came into the world, and lived and +died to propagate trifles. Trifles therefore are no longer trifles when +set forth as Christian doctrines. And we have enough to believe and +think about without occupying our minds with childish fancies. And we +have things enough of high importance to preach and write about, without +spending our time and strength on idle dreams. + +And the apparently harmless fictions prop up the hurtful ones. And they +lessen the influence of great truths. And they make religion appear +suspicious or contemptible to men of sense. They disgust some. They give +occasion to the adversaries to speak reproachfully. + +And if you tolerate fictions at all in Christianity, where will you +stop? And if you do not stop somewhere, Christianity will disappear, and +a mass of worthless and disgusting follies will take its place. The new +creation will vanish, and chaos come again. + +And again. A large proportion of the controversies of the Church are +about men's inventions. Christ's own doctrines do not so often provoke +opposition as the traditions of the elders; nor do they, when assailed, +require so much defending. They defend themselves. "The devil's way of +undoing," says Baxter, "is by overdoing. To bring religious zeal into +disrepute, he makes some zealous to madness, to persecution, to blood. +To discredit freedom he urges its advocates into lawlessness. To +discredit Christian morality, he induces some to carry it to the extreme +of asceticism. To discredit needful authority, he makes rulers of the +State into despots, and persuades the rulers of the Church to claim +infallibility. To discredit Christianity, he adds to it human +inventions." Wesley has a similar sentiment. "If you place Christian +perfection too high, you drive it out of the world." And it is certain, +that an infinite amount of hostility to Christianity is owing to the +folly of divines in supplementing its simple and practical doctrines, by +speculative and unintelligible theories. "The one great evidence of the +divinity of Christianity," says one, "the master-evidence, the evidence +with which all other evidences will stand or fall, is Christ Himself +speaking by His own word." But if you add to His words foolish fancies, +or revolting absurdities, or immoral speculations of your own, you +destroy that evidence. You make men infidels. + +There are multitudes at the present day to whom you must present +religion in an intelligible and rational, and in a grave and commanding +light, if you would induce them to give it their serious attention. You +can no more interest them in mysteries and nonsense, in speculative and +unpractical fictions, than you can change the course of nature. The time +for theological trifling is gone by. The time has gone by for any form +of religion to make its way which does not consist in solid goodness, or +which teaches doctrines, or uses forms, that do not tend to promote +solid goodness. If religion is to secure the attention of the world,--if +it is to command their respect, their reverence and their love,--if it +is to conquer their hearts, and govern their lives, and satisfy their +souls,--if it is to become the great absorbing subject of man's thought, +and the governing power of our race, it must be so presented, as to +prove itself in harmony with all that is highest and best in man's +nature, with all that is most beautiful and useful in life, and with all +that is beneficent and glorious in the universe. + +In a word, old dreamy theologies with their barbarous dialects and silly +notions, must be dropped and left to die, and the Church and the +ministry must live, and act, and talk as men who are dealing with the +grandest and most interesting and important realities. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +FURTHER INVESTIGATIONS AND THEIR RESULTS. + + +As my readers will have seen before this, the changes in my views were +rather numerous, if not always of great importance. And the cases I have +given are but samples of many other changes. The fact is, I pared away +from my creed everything that was not plainly Scriptural. I threw aside +all human theories, all mere guesses about religious matters. I also +dismissed all forced or fanciful interpretations of Scripture passages. +I endeavored to free Christian doctrines from all corruptions, +perversions, or exaggerations, retaining only the pure and simple +teachings of Christ and the sacred writings. I accepted only those +interpretations of Scripture, which were in accordance with the object +and drift of the writer, with common sense, and with the general tenor +of the sacred volume. I paid special regard to the plainest and most +practical portions of Scripture. I paid no regard to doctrines grounded +on solitary passages, or on texts of doubtful meaning, while numerous +texts, with their meaning on their very faces, taught opposite +doctrines. I would accept nothing that seemed irrational from any +quarter, unless required to do so by the plain unquestionable oracles of +God. I could see no propriety in Christians encumbering their minds and +clogging religion with notions bearing plain and palpable marks of +inconsistency or absurdity. And if a doctrine presented itself in +different religious writers in a variety of forms, I always took the +form which seemed most in harmony with reason and the plainest teachings +of Scripture. Some writers seemed to take pleasure in presenting such +doctrines as the Trinity, the Atonement, Salvation by Faith, Eternal +Punishment, &c., in the most incredible and repulsive forms, straining +and wresting the Scriptures to justify their mischievous extravagances. +Other writers would say no more on those subjects than the Scriptures +said, and would put what the Scriptures said in such a light as to +render it "worthy of all acceptation." As a matter of course, the latter +kind of writers became my favorites. Indeed the Scriptures seemed always +to favor what appeared most rational in the various creeds. The +Scriptures and common sense seemed always in remarkable harmony. The +doctrines which clashed with reason seemed also to clash with Scripture: +and I felt that in rejecting such doctrines I was promoting the honor of +God and of Christ, and rendering a service to the Church and +Christianity. + +I was sometimes rather tried by the unwarranted and inconsiderate +statements of my brother ministers. Take an instance. A preacher one +night, in a sermon to which I was listening, said, "How great is the +love of God to fallen man! Angels sinned, and were doomed at once to +everlasting damnation. No Saviour interposed to bring them back to +holiness and heaven. No ambassador was sent with offers of pardon to +beseech them to be reconciled to God. Man sins, and the Deity Himself +becomes incarnate. All the machinery of nature and all the resources of +Heaven are employed to save him from destruction. One sin shuts up in +everlasting despair millions of spiritual beings, while a thousand +transgressions are forgiven to man." + +Now this doctrine, instead of reflecting peculiar glory on God, seemed +to me to savor of blasphemy. It is no honor to be partial or capricious; +it is a reproach. A father that should be tenderly indulgent to one of +his children, and rigidly severe to the rest, would be regarded with +indignation. The doctrine of Divine partiality shocks both our reason +and our moral feelings. And it is not scriptural. The Bible says nothing +about God dooming the rebellious angels to perdition for one sin, +without any attempt to bring them back to obedience; but it does say +that God is good to all, and that His tender mercies are over all His +works. I accordingly rejected the doctrine. There was quite a multitude +of _doctrines_ which entered into the sermons of many of my brother +ministers, which never found their way into mine. And there were +doctrines which entered into my discourses, which never found their way +into theirs. And the doctrines which we held and preached in common, we +often presented in very different forms, and put into very different +words. They could say a multitude of things which I could not say; +things which I could find no kind of warrant for saying. When we met +together after hearing each other preach, we had at times long talks +about our different views and ways of preaching. I was free in +expressing my thoughts and feelings, especially in the earlier years of +my ministry, and our conversations were often very animated. + +In some circuits, I induced my colleagues to join me in establishing +weekly meetings for mutual improvement in religious knowledge. At each +meeting an essay was read, on some subject agreed upon at a former +meeting, and after the essay had been read we discussed the merits both +of the sentiments it embodied, and of the style in which it was +written. When it was my turn to prepare an essay, I generally introduced +one or more of the points on which I and my colleagues differed, for the +purpose of having them discussed. I stated my views with the utmost +freedom, and gave every encouragement to my colleagues to state theirs +with equal freedom in return. When my colleagues read their productions, +I pointed out what I thought erroneous or defective with great plainness +and fidelity. I was anxious both to learn and to teach, and it was my +delight, as it was my duty and business, to endeavor to do both. I was +not, however, so anxious to change the views of my friends as I was to +excite in them a thirst for knowledge. And indeed I did not consider it +of so much importance that a man should accept a certain number of +truths, or particular doctrines, as that he should have a sincere +desire, and make suitable endeavors to understand all truth. It was +idleness, indifference, a state of mental stagnation, a readiness +carelessly to accept whatever might come in the way without once trying +to test it by Scripture or reason, that I particularly disliked; and to +cure or abate this evil, I exerted myself to the utmost. + +When I was stationed in Newcastle in 1831, I met with Foster's Essays, +which I read with a great deal of eagerness and pleasure. One of these +Essays is "On some of the Causes by which Evangelical Religion has been +Rendered Unacceptable to Persons of Cultivated Taste?" Among his remarks +on this subject, he has some to the following effect:-- + +1. Christianity is the religion of many weak, uncultivated and +little-minded people, and they, by their unwise ways of talking about +it, and by their various defects of character, make religion look weak, +and poor, and unreasonable. And many receive their impression or ideas +of the character of Christianity more from the exhibitions given of it +by the religious people with whom they come in contact, than from the +exhibition given of it in the life and teachings of its great Author, or +from the characters and writings of His Apostles. An intelligent and +cultivated man, for instance, falls into the company of Christians +who know little either of the teachings of Christ, or of the +wonderful facts which go to prove their truth and their infinite +excellency--Christians who never trouble themselves about such matters, +and who look on it as no good sign when people show a disposition to +inquire seriously into such subjects. He hears those Christians talk +about religion, but can find nothing in their conversation but strange +and, to him, unintelligible expressions. The speakers give proof enough +of excited feelings, but show no sign of mental enlightenment. If he +asks them for information on the great principles and bearings of +Christianity, they tell him they have nothing to do with vain +philosophy. + +2. The man of taste and culture hears other Christians harping eternally +on two or three points, adopted perhaps from some dreamy author, and +denouncing all who question the correctness of their version of the +Gospel, as heretics or infidels, while all the time their notions have +little or no resemblance either to the Gospel or to common sense; but +are at best, only perversions or distortions of Christian doctrines, +which have no more likeness to the religion of Christ than a few broken +bricks have to a beautiful and magnificent palace. + +3. In many cases the Christians with whom he meets have not only no +general knowledge of religious subjects, but no desire for such +knowledge. The Bible is their book, they say, and they want no other. +And they make but a pitiful use of that. They do not go to the Bible as +to a fountain of infinite knowledge, whose streams of truth blend +naturally with all the truths in the universe, but merely to refresh +their minds with a few misinterpreted passages, which ignorance and +bigotry are accustomed to use to support their misconceptions of +Christian doctrine. They use the book not to make them wise, but to keep +them ignorant. They dwell for ever on the same irrational fancies, and +repeat them for ever in the same outlandish jargon. + +4. He meets with other Christians who read a little in other books +besides the Bible; but it is just those books that help to keep them +from understanding the meaning of the Bible. And the portions of the +books which they admire most and quote oftenest, are the silliest and +most erroneous portions. They put darkness for light, and light for +darkness. The man of culture speaks to them, but they cannot understand +him. His thoughts and style are alike out of their line, or beyond their +capacity. If at any time they catch a glimpse of his meaning, they are +frightened on perceiving that his thoughts are not an exact repetition +of their own. + +5. Another cause which has tended to render Christianity less acceptable +to men of taste and culture, is the peculiar language adopted in the +discourses and writings of its _Teachers_. The style of some religious +teachers is low, vulgar. The style of a still greater number is +barbarous. Men soon feel the language of the _Law_ to be barbarous. They +would feel the language of theology to be as barbarous, if they were not +accustomed to hear it or read it so constantly. The way in which the +greater number of evangelical divines express themselves is quite +different from that in which men generally express themselves. Their +whole cast of phraseology is peculiar. You cannot hear five sentences +without feeling that you are listening to a dead or foreign language. To +put it into good current English you have to translate it, and the task +of translation is as hard, and requires as much study and practice, as +that of translating Greek or Hebrew. The language of the pulpit and of +religious books is a dialect to itself, and cannot be used in common +life or common affairs. If you try to apply it to anything but religion, +it becomes ridiculous, and a common kind of wit consists in speaking of +common things in pulpit phraseology. A foreign heathen might master our +language in its common and classical forms, and be able to understand +both our ordinary talk and our ablest authors, yet find himself quite at +a loss to understand an evangelical preacher or writer. + +Even if our heathen understood religion in its simpler and more natural +forms, he would still be unable to understand the common run of +religious talkers and writers. If he had religion to learn from such +teachers and writers, he would have a double task, first, to get the +ideas, and then to learn the uncouth and unnatural language. This +peculiar dialect is quite unnecessary. The style of a preacher or a +religious writer might be, and, allowing for a few terms, _ought_ to be, +the same as that of a man talking about ordinary affairs, and matters of +common interest and duty. The want of this is one great cause of the +little success, both of our preachers at home, and of our missionaries +abroad. They hide beneath an unseemly veil, a beauty that should strike +all eyes, and win all hearts. Their style is just the opposite of +everything that can instruct, attract, command. And it is vain to expect +much improvement in the present generation of religious teachers. They +could not get a good style without a long and careful study of good +authors, and for this many of them have neither the taste nor the +needful industry. They would have to begin life anew, to be converted +and become as little children, before they could master the task. They +cannot _think_ of religion but in common words. They cannot think there +can be divine truth but in the old phrases. To discontinue them, +therefore, and use others, would in their view, be to become heretics or +infidels. In truth, many of them seem to have no ideas. Their phrases +are not vehicles of ideas, but substitutes for them. If they hear the +ideas which their phrases did once signify, expressed ever so plainly in +other language, they do not recognise them, and instantly suspect the +man who utters them of unsoundness in the faith, and apply to him all +the abusive terms of ecclesiastical reproach. For such the common pulpit +jargon is the convenient refuge of ignorance, idleness and prejudice. + +6. Speaking of certain kinds of religious books, Mr. Foster calls them +an accumulation of bad writing, under which the evangelical theology has +been buried, and which has contributed to bring its principles into +disfavor. He adds: A large proportion of religious books may be +sentenced as bad on more accounts than their peculiarity of dialect. One +has to regret that their authors did not revere the dignity of their +religion too much to surround it and choke it with their works. There is +quite a multitude of books which form the perfect vulgar of religious +authorship,--a vast exhibition of the most inferior materials that can +be called thought, in language too grovelling to be called style. In +these books you are mortified to see how low religious thought and +expression _can_ sink; and you almost wonder how the grand ideas of God +and Providence, of redemption and eternity, the noblest ideas known, can +shine on a human mind, without imparting some small occasional degree of +dignity to its train of thought. You can make allowances for the great +defects of private Christians, but when men obtrude their infinite +littleness and folly on the public in books, you can hardly help +regarding them as inexcusable. True, many of those worthless and +mischievous books are evermore disappearing, but others as bad, or but +little better, take their places. Look where you will you will meet with +them. What estimate can a man have of Christianity who receives his +first impressions of it from such books? + +7. There are other religious books that are tolerable as to style, but +which display no power or prominence of thought, no living vigor of +expression; they are flat and dry as a plain of sand. They tease you +with the thousandth repetition of common-places, causing a feeling of +unspeakable weariness. Though the author is surrounded with rich +immeasurable fields of truth and beauty, he treads for ever the same +narrow track already trodden into dust. + +8. There is a smaller class of religious writers that may be called +mock-eloquent writers. They try at a superior style, but forget that +true eloquence resides essentially in the thought, the feeling, the +character, and that no words can make genuine eloquence out of that +which is of no worth or interest. They mistake a gaudy verbosity for +eloquence. + +9. The moral and theological _materials_ of many religious books are as +faulty as their style, and the injury they do the Gospel is +incalculable. Here is a systematic writer in whose hands all the riches +and magnificence of revelation shrink into a meagre list of doctrinal +points, and not a single verse in the Bible is allowed to tell its +meaning, or even allowed to have one, till it has been forced under +torture to maintain one of his points. You are next confronted with a +prater about the invisible world, that makes you shrink away into +darkness; and then you are met with a grim zealot for such a revolting +theory of the Divine attributes and government, that he seems to delight +in representing the Deity as a dreadful king of furies, whose dominion +is overshadowed with vengeance, whose music is the cries of victims, and +whose glory requires to be illustrated by the ruin of His creation. One +cannot help deploring that the great mass of religious books were not +consigned to the flames before they were permitted to reach the eyes of +the public. Books which exhibit Christianity and its claims with +insipid feebleness, or which cramp its majesty into an artificial form +at once distorted and mean, must grievously injure its influence. An +intelligent Christian cannot look into such works without feeling +thankful that they were not the books from which he got his conceptions +of the Gospel. Nothing would induce him to put them into the hands of an +inquiring youth, and he would be sorry to see them on the table of an +infidel, or in the library of his children, or of a student for the +ministry.--_Foster's Essays._ + +These sentiments answered so astonishingly to my own thoughts, that I +read them with the greatest delight. I laid them, in substance, before +my brethren. I explained them. I illustrated them by quotations from +books and sermons. I gave them instances of the various faults pointed +out by Foster, taken from their favorite authors, and in some cases from +the discourses of living preachers. I wrote several essays on the causes +of the slow progress made by Christianity, in which I embodied and +illustrated many of Foster's views. I wrote essays on "_Preaching +Christ_," in which I embodied and illustrated Wesley's views on the +subject, including his condemnation of what, in his days, was falsely +called "_Gospel Preaching_." I wrote quite a large volume on these +subjects, and read the contents, so far as opportunity offered, to my +colleagues at our weekly meetings. I was badly requited for my pains. In +some cases my colleagues listened to me and stared at me with amazement. +They thought I "brought strange things to their ears." One, who is now +dead, said I should be really an excellent fellow, he believed, if I +could only get the cobwebs swept out of my upper stories. Everything +beyond his own poor standing common-places was cobwebs to him, poor +fellow. The remarks on this subject in the LIFE of the preacher +referred to, show that my ideas and plans at that time are not yet +understood by all his brethren. + +Travel, they say, frees men from their prejudices. The more they see of +the wonders of other countries, and of the manners of other nations, the +more moderate becomes their estimate of the marvels, and of some of the +views and customs of their native land. And it is certain that the more +a man travels through good books by men of different Churches from his +own, the less important will some of the peculiarities of his own +denomination appear. As ignorance of the world is favorable to blind +patriotism and home idolatry, so ignorance of Churches, and systems, and +literatures different from our own, is favorable to bigotry and +sectarianism. And as free and extended intercourse with foreign nations +tends to enlarge and liberalize the mind; so the more extensive a +Christian's acquaintance is with different branches of the Church, and +with their customs, and writings, and manners, the more likely will his +sectarian bigotry and intolerance be to give place to liberal views and +to Christian moderation and charity. + +But just in proportion as he becomes the subject of this blessed +transformation, will he be regarded with suspicion and dread by those +who still remain the slaves of ignorance and bigotry. + +It was so in my case. I travelled through extensive regions of religious +literature different from that of my own Church, and I did so with an +earnest desire to learn what was true and good in all. The consequence +was the loss of many prejudices, and the modification of many more. I +lost my prejudices against all kinds of Christians. I could believe in +the salvation both of Quakers and Catholics, and of all between, if they +were well disposed, God-fearing, good-living men. I could believe in the +salvation of all, not excepting Jews, Turks, and Pagans, who lived +according to the light they had, and honestly and faithfully sought for +further light. I believed that in every nation he that feared God and +worked righteousness was accepted of Him. I believed that honest, +faithful souls among the pagans of old would be found at last among the +saved. I regarded the moral and spiritual light of the ancient pagans as +light from heaven, as divine revelation. I looked on all mankind as +equally objects of God's care and love, as His children, under His +tuition, though placed for a time in different schools, with different +teachers, and with different lesson-books. I came to believe that God +was as good as a good man, as good as the kindest and best of fathers, +and even better, and I felt assured that He would not permit any +well-disposed soul on earth to perish. I believed that some who were +first in privileges, would be among the last in blessedness; and that +some that were last in privileges would be among the first in +blessedness. + +Yet I believed in missions. I believed that it was the duty of all to +share their blessings with others; to give to others the light that God +had bestowed on them,--that though _pagans_ might be saved without +Christian light, if they lived according to the light they had, +_Christians_ could not be saved if they did not, as they had +opportunity, _impart_ their superior light to the pagans. + +I respected the good moral principles, and the portions of religious +truth that I found in the ancient Greek and Roman authors, just as I +lamented and condemned the moral and religious errors that I found in +Christian books. + + "I seized on truth where'er 'twas found, + On Christian or on Heathen ground," + +and made it part of my creed: and I warred with error though entrenched +in the strong-holds of the Church. I respected what was true and good in +all denominations of Christians; and even in all denominations that +_called_ themselves Christians, whether they came near enough to Christ +to entitle them to that name or not. If I saw anything good in the +creeds or the characters of other denominations I accepted it, and tried +to embody it in my own creed and character. + +And I did, as I thought, see good in every one that I did not see in +others. I could see things in some Protestants, which I thought +Catholics would do well to imitate; and I could see things among +Catholics, which I thought Protestants would do well to imitate. I could +see things in Quakerism, which it would have been to the honor and +advantage of other Christians to imitate; and I could see good things in +other Churches which Quakers would have done well to copy. I could see +even among Unitarians of the older and better class, an attention to +matters practical, a naturalness of style, and a freedom from certain +anti-christian expressions and notions, which it would have been well +for orthodox Churches to have made their own; and I could see where +Unitarians had both gone too far through their dislike of orthodox +error, and fallen short of truth and duty through dread of orthodox +weaknesses or imperfections. And I had an idea, that it would be well +in all Churches, instead of avoiding, or scolding, or abusing one +another, to study each other lovingly, with a view to find how much of +truth and goodness they could find in each other, that they could not +find in themselves, and how much of error and imperfection they could +find in themselves, that they did not find in others. I saw that no +Church had got all the truth, or all the goodness, and that no Church +was free from anti-christian errors and defects. I saw that to make a +perfect Christian creed, we should have to take something out of every +creed, and leave other things in every creed behind; and that to secure +a perfect exhibition of Christian virtue, and a perfect system of +Christian operations, we should have to borrow from each other habits, +customs, rules and machinery in the same way, and leave parts of our own +to fall into disuse. + +And I was willing to act on this principle. I saw that Christ and +Christianity were more and better than all the Churches and all the +creeds on earth put together, and that all the Churches had errors and +faults or failings which Christ and Christianity had not; and I had an +idea that one of the grandest sights conceivable would be to set all the +disciples of Christ to work striving to get rid of everything +anti-christian, and to come as near to Christ, and to each other, as +possible, both in truth and virtue. + +But to proceed with my story. + +I frequently spoke on religious subjects with my colleagues when we met, +along with the leading laymen, at the houses of our friends. Some new +book, some particular sermon, or some article in the magazine, or +perhaps the fulness of one's own mind with the subjects of one's +studies, would turn the conversation on the state of the Church and the +ministry, and the need of improvement in the theological systems and +dialects of the day, and the manner of handling religious subjects +generally, both in the pulpit and through the press. Whatever the +subject under consideration might be, I expressed myself with the utmost +freedom. I stated my beliefs and disbeliefs, my doubts and my +convictions, without the least reserve. And I as readily gave my reasons +for my views. I was generally prepared with the passages of Scripture +bearing on the subjects introduced, and gave them, with my impressions +of their meaning. And I did my best to draw my colleagues and friends +into a thorough investigation of every point, in hopes that we might all +come as near as possible in our views to a full conformity to the +teachings of Christ. The results of these conversations, and of my other +labors, were in some cases, very satisfactory. Some were led to exercise +their minds on religious subjects who had never troubled themselves +about such matters before. Some that had been accustomed to think and +read a little were led to think and read more, and to better purpose. +Some that had been helplessly and miserably perplexed had their minds +put right, and were delivered from their distresses. Some had their +minds directed more seriously to the practical requirements of +Christianity, and labored more, and made more sacrifices, for the +prosperity of the Church and the salvation of their fellow-men. In +considerable numbers the standard of Christian knowledge and piety was +raised, and the general tone of the churches improved. + +In other cases the results were of a very different character. During +the early years of my religious life I supposed that all professing +Christians, and especially all ministers of the Gospel, were anxious to +be as wise and good as possible, and that they would be delighted, as I +was myself, to get any new, or larger, or clearer views of truth and +duty. I judged of others by myself, and gave them credit for the same +desires and longings that swelled my own soul. I gave them credit too +for unlimited capacities to take in and appreciate the truth, and for +any amount of ability to use it, when received, in doing good to others. +I had seldom any difficulty in understanding _them_; and it never +entered my mind that they would have much difficulty in understanding +me. And I never felt myself even tempted, much less disposed, to +misrepresent the words or sentiments of my friends, or to take advantage +of the freedom with which they spoke, to injure them in the estimation +of their friends. I had no intolerance myself, so far as I can +recollect, and I had no disposition to cause intolerance in others +towards my brethren. How it was with my brethren I will not undertake to +say, but, as a person with any knowledge of human nature would have +anticipated, I was greatly misunderstood and misrepresented. Some of my +colleagues and friends were in a maze with regard to my views and +intentions. Shut up within the narrow confines of some old stereotyped +form of faith or fancy into which they had been born, or into which they +had been brought they knew not how, and afraid to change or modify one +_iota_ of their blind belief, investigation, search after truth, +enlargement of thought, or change of sentiment, was with them out of the +question. The very idea of anything differing from their own +traditionary or haphazard belief was, in the estimation of some of them, +no less than heresy, treason, or infidelity. Others, who were not so +much benighted, were afraid to venture on a free examination of +religious matters, or a careful comparison of their views with the +teachings of Scripture. Some trusted in their elders, and feared no +error so long as they kept in the track of their predecessors. I am not +certain that I should go too far if I were to say, that some were under +the influence of worldly and selfish motives, and were resolved to take +the course which promised to be most conducive to a quiet, easy, +self-indulgent life. There were some whose conversations left this +impression on my mind. One young minister, when I was pointing out to +him some inconsistency between a statement he had made and the teachings +of Christ, put an end to the conversation by saying, "I don't want to +hear anything about such matters; I know what is expected of a minister +of the Methodist New Connexion, and I am resolved to be one; and I shall +just hold the doctrines necessary to keep me in the office, and nothing +else." And I suppose he did not stand alone. + +Some lacked the power to think. They were all but mindless. Whatever +they might be able to do in reference to worldly matters, they were +unable to think, to compare doctrine with doctrine, or to reason in any +respect whatever on religious matters. One young man, a candidate for +the ministry, told me that he never had thought matters over in his own +mind, but taken what came in his way in books or sermons, never +troubling himself, or finding himself able, to do more than to remember +and to repeat what he heard or read. He had not the faculty to compare +the sayings of men with the sayings of God; or the sayings of one man +with the sayings of another. He was a mere dealer in words and phrases, +and he aspired to nothing higher than to live by the ignoble occupation. +How many of those with whom I came in contact, and in whose society I +poured forth so freely the thoughts of my mind, were of the same stamp, +I do not know. I never tested any other person so thoroughly as I tested +him. There _were_ others, however, that had been fashioned in a similar +mould. + +Others with whom I conversed _had thought_, and had embraced certain +views believing them to be true; but they had fallen under the influence +of teachers and books of a different cast from those by which my own +mind had been chiefly influenced. And they had been led to fix their +thoughts almost exclusively on one particular class of Scripture +passages, and to neglect or overlook other portions of the sacred +volume, though much more numerous, and much more clear in their meaning. +They had also been led to adopt certain interpretations of the passages +on which their attention had been specially fixed, which a consideration +of other passages of Scripture had led me to reject. Thus our minds had +run into different moulds, and taken different forms. We differed not +only on certain points of doctrine, but in our tastes, and in our rules +of judging. The consequence was, that we could never talk long on +religious subjects without getting into a dispute, or coming to a dead +stand. To make matters worse, this class of people had been led to +believe that their peculiar notions were the essential doctrines of the +Gospel, and that those who did not believe them could not be Christians. +When therefore they found that I looked upon their theories as erroneous +and unscriptural, they pronounced me at once an erratic and dangerous +man. I imagined, at first, that I could bring these people to see things +in a different light. I had such faith in the power of plain Scripture +passages, and in the force of common sense, and was so ignorant of the +power of prejudice, and of peculiarities of mental constitution, that I +conversed and reasoned with them with the greatest freedom and the +utmost confidence. But I found at length that my expectations were vain. +I was conversing once with a colleague who belonged to this class, on +man's natural proneness to evil. He was one of the best and most +enlightened of that school of theologians, and he regarded me at the +time with very kindly feelings. And we were agreed as to the _fact_ of +man's natural tendency to evil, but he had been led to rest his belief +in the doctrine on somewhat different grounds from those on which my +belief rested. And this was enough. He quoted the passage from Isaiah, +"The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint: from the crown of +the head, to the sole of the foot, there is no soundness, but wounds and +bruises and putrefying sores." "Do you think that the Prophet refers in +that passage to man's natural proneness to evil?" said I. "What can he +refer to else?" said he. "I have been accustomed to regard the words as +a figurative description of the miserable state of the Israelites under +the terrible judgments of God," I replied. He instantly became red in +the face, and said, "Do you mean to deny the natural depravity of man?" +I said, "The question is not about the doctrine, but only about the +meaning of that particular passage." But all was in vain. I had roused +his suspicions and his anger, and the conversation came at once to an +end, and he never afterwards regarded me with the same degree of +confidence and friendliness as before. + +On another occasion a brother minister quoted, as proof that men in +their unregenerate state cannot do anything towards their own salvation, +the words of Jeremiah, already once referred to, "Can the Ethiopian +change his skin, or the leopard his spots?" "Do you really think," said +I, "that the Prophet is speaking, in those words, of men generally?" +"What else is he speaking of?" was the answer. "He seems to me to be +speaking of a particular class of men, who have been so long accustomed +to do wrong, that they have lost the power to do right--having made +themselves the helpless slaves of their evil habits. He is not, I think, +speaking of the state into which they were _born_; but of the state to +which they had _reduced_ themselves by long persistence in sin. Hence he +says at the conclusion of the passage, 'Then may ye, who are accustomed +to do evil, do well.'" "Oh! I suppose you deny the doctrine of natural +depravity." "No, I do not," said I. "It is no use saying that," he +replied, "when you explain away the passages of Scripture in which the +doctrine is taught." + +Such encounters between me and my brethren were at one time by no means +uncommon. They took place at almost every meeting. The result was often +unpleasant. My brethren generally did not like to be disturbed in their +notions, or in their way of talking. But few, if any of them, were +prepared or disposed to enter on the investigations necessary to enable +them to ascertain what was the truth on the points on which we were +accustomed to converse. Some had not the power to revise their creeds +and their way of talking and preaching, and bring them into harmony with +Scripture and common sense. And people of this class were sure to look +on all who did not see things in the same light as themselves, as +dangerous or damnable heretics. They, of course, concluded that I was +not sound in the faith. They felt that I was a troublesome, and feared +that I was a lost and ruined man. The remarks which I made to them, they +repeated to their friends; and as they seldom succeeded in understanding +me properly, their reports were generally incorrect. In some cases my +statements were reported with important additions, and in others with +serious alterations, and in some cases their meaning was entirely +changed. And the change was seldom to my advantage. A difference of +expression between me and my brethren was mistaken for a difference of +belief; and the disuse of an unscriptural word, was mistaken for a +renunciation of a Christian doctrine. A dispute about the "eternal +sonship" was mistaken for a dispute about the divinity of Christ, and a +difference of opinion about the meaning of a passage of Scripture, came +to be reported as the denial of Christ's authority. In one case I gave +it as my judgment that there were really righteous people on earth when +Christ came into the world, and that it was to such that Christ +referred, when He said, He "came not to call the righteous, but sinners +to repentance." This was made into an assertion that the coming of +Christ was unnecessary. Inability to accept unauthorized definitions and +unscriptural theories of Scriptural doctrines, was construed into a +denial of those doctrines. My endeavor to strip religious subjects of +needless mystery, was represented as an attempt to substitute a vain +philosophy for the Gospel of Christ. An expression of dissatisfaction +with a grandiloquent but foolish and mischievous sermon on the "Cross +of Christ," was set down as a proof that my views on the sacrifice of +Christ were not evangelical. My endeavors to show that Christianity was +in harmony with reason, were mistaken for an attempt to substitute +reason for faith, and became the occasion of a rumor that I was running +into Pelagianism or Socinianism. My own conviction was, that I was +coming nearer to the simplicity, the purity, and the fulness of the +Gospel; and that is my conviction still. And those of my brethren in the +ministry who were in advance of the rest in point of intelligence and +piety, and who were least infected with foolish fear and jealousy, +expressed to me their satisfaction with my views and proceedings. And +the people listened to my discourses with the greatest delight. They +flocked to hear me in crowds; and the crowds continually increased. And +many were benefited under my ministry. Sinners were converted, and +believers were comforted, and stimulated to greater efforts in the cause +of God. + +To those, however, who had come to believe that I was drifting towards +heresy, all this was the occasion of greater alarm, and my great success +and growing popularity led them to make increasing efforts to lessen my +influence, or silence me altogether. Their conduct caused me great +uneasiness, and it was this that first awakened in me unhappy feeling +towards them. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +A SECOND TENDENCY. PRACTICAL PREACHING. + + +I had a second powerful tendency which helped to get me into trouble, +and so became an occasion of unhappy feeling, namely, a _practical_ +tendency. This was bred in me. It was a family peculiarity; it ran in +the blood. My father had it. Religion with him was goodness of heart and +goodness of life; fearing God and working righteousness; loving God and +keeping His commandments. And his belief and life were one. I never knew +a more conscientious or godly man. And I never knew a man who could more +truly have uttered the words of the Psalmist: "Lord, my heart is not +haughty, nor mine eyes lofty; neither do I exercise myself in great +matters, or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted +myself as a child that is weaned of its mother; my soul is even as a +weaned child." What God had left mysterious, he was willing should +remain so; he found sufficient to meet his wants and to occupy his +thoughts in what He had clearly revealed. He never troubled either +himself or his children with those incomprehensible subjects on which +many people are so prone to speculate and dogmatize. He read but few +books, and those which he read he carefully compared with the sacred +Scriptures. The Bible was his only authority, and by it he tested both +books and preachers, receiving nothing but what he saw and felt to be in +harmony with its spirit and teachings. He liked Bunyan, especially his +_Pilgrim's Progress_; and he liked Wesley; but he liked the Bible best. +There were no bounds to his love and reverence for the Scriptures. He +regarded them as the perfection of all wisdom, the true and perfect +unfolding of the mind and will of God. He read them every morning on his +knees, before the rest of the family were up. Whatever might be the +calls of business, he spent a full hour in this exercise. He read them +every noon to his family. He read them at night before retiring to rest. +He read them with a sincere desire to learn God's will, and with earnest +prayer for Divine help to enable him to do it. He read them till all the +plainer and more practical portions were safely lodged in his memory, +and deeply engraven on his heart. He read them till their teachings +became a part of his very nature, and shone forth in his character in +all the beauty of holiness. He was a thorough Christian. The oracles of +God were the rule both of his faith and conduct. They leavened his whole +soul. They mingled with all his conversation. They were his only +counsellors and his chief comforters. They were his law, his politics, +his philosophy, his morals. They were his treasure and his song. And he +received their teachings in their simple, obvious, common-sense meaning. +He had quite a distaste for commentaries, because they would not allow +the Scriptures to speak forth their own solemn meaning in their own +plain, artless way. He hated the notes to Bunyan's _Pilgrim's Progress_ +for the same reason. He could understand the Bible, but he could not +understand the explanations of it given by theologians. He would not +study theology. He would study the Bible and Christ; he would study +precepts and promises, exhortations and warnings, examples and +historics; but not theology. And he never bothered us with theology. +There was no theology in his conversation. There was none in his +prayers. He never used theological terms. In all he said on religious +matters, whether to God or man, he used the simplest Bible terms. He +seldom talked much to his children about religion; he taught us more by +his deeds and spirit than by words; but when he did say anything to us +on the subject, it was the pure, unadulterated Word of God. The idea of +making us theologians, in the ordinary sense of the word, never entered +into his head. He wished us to think and feel and act like Christians, +and that was all; and the end of all his counsels and labors was to +furnish us unto every good word and work. If he had written a system of +divinity, he would have left out most of the things which many put into +such books, and put in many which most leave out. It would have been a +book to help people to live right and feel right, and not to dream, or +speculate, or wrangle. If he had been a preacher, he would have filled +his sermons with the living words of Moses and the Prophets, of Christ +and His Apostles, and pressed them on the consciences of his hearers +with all his might. He would often have "reasoned of righteousness, +temperance, and a judgment to come," but never troubled his hearers with +human theories of Christian doctrines. The drift and scope of his +sermons to the ungodly would have been, "Cease to do evil; learn to do +well." "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his +thoughts, and let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon +him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon." "Repeat and be +converted, every one of you, that your sins may he blotted out." The +substance of his sermons to believers would have been, "I beseech you +therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies +a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable +service." "Ye are not your own; ye are bought with a price; therefore +glorify God with your bodies and your spirits, which are His." "For ye +were not redeemed with corruptible things, such as silver and gold, from +your evil way of life received by tradition from your fathers; but with +the precious blood of Christ; who gave Himself for you, that He might +redeem you from all iniquity, and purify you unto Himself a peculiar +people, zealous of good works." "Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for +whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to +the flesh, shall of the flesh, reap corruption; but he that soweth to +the Spirit, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be +weary in well-doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. +As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, +especially to those who are of the household of faith." He would have +spoken of the love of God, and of the death of Christ, and of all the +great moving facts and doctrines of the Gospel; but, like the sacred +writers, he would have turned them all to practical account. His aim in +everything would have been to bring men into subjection to God's will, +and into full conformity with the teachings and character of Christ. + +My eldest brother was a minister, and this was the character of his +preaching. His favorite books were Baxter's works and the Bible. His +favorite minister was William Dawson, one of the most practical, +earnest, and common-sense preachers that ever occupied a pulpit. Like +his father, he kept scrupulously to the simple teachings of the +Scriptures, and he was once charged with unsoundness in the faith, +because he would not be wise above what was revealed, nor preach more +than the Gospel committed to him by Christ. + +It was the same with myself. I looked on Christianity, from the first, +as a means of enlightening and regenerating mankind, and changing them +into the likeness of Christ and of God. In other words, I regarded it as +a grand instrument appointed by God, for making bad men into good men, +and good men always better, thus fitting them for all the duties of +life, and all the blessedness they were created to enjoy. And I +considered that the great business of a Christian minister was to use it +for those great ends. And I think so still. + +The Bible is the most practical book under heaven, and I cannot conceive +how any one can read it carefully, with a mind unbiased by prejudice or +evil feeling, without perceiving that its great object is to bring men +to fear and love God, and to make them perfect in every good work to do +His will. How any one can study Christianity without perceiving that its +design is to bring men into harmony with God, both in heart and action, +and to make them steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of +the Lord, is a mystery to me. Antinomianism is Antichrist. The preaching +which tends to lessen men's sense of duty, or to reconcile people to a +selfish, idle, or useless life, is contrary both to Christianity and +common sense. And all interpretations of Scripture which favor the +doctrine that men have nothing to do but to believe and trust in Christ, +are madness or impiety. The impression which God seeks to make on our +minds from the beginning of Genesis to the end of Revelation is, that if +we would have His favor and blessing, we must do His will. The whole +Bible is one great lesson of piety and virtue, of love and beneficence. +Christ is "the Author of eternal salvation to those" only "who obey +Him." Those who obey Him not He will punish with everlasting +destruction. Christ and His Apostles agree that, if we would see God and +have eternal life, we must be "holy as God is holy," "merciful as our +Father in heaven is merciful," "righteous as Christ was +righteous;"--that God, who is love, and Christ, who is God, must dwell +in us, live in us, work in us;--that carnal, sinful self must die, and +"grace reign in us through righteousness unto eternal life." + +I know what can be said about doctrines; but there are no doctrines in +the Scriptures at variance with the principle that "God will render to +every man according to his deeds,--that to them who by patient +continuance in well-doing seek for glory, honor, and immortality, He +will give eternal life; and that to them who are contentious, and do not +obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, He will recompense indignation +and wrath, tribulation and anguish." Nay, the doctrines of Scripture are +employed throughout as motives and inducements to righteousness. This is +their use. The truth is taught us that it may make us free from sin, and +sanctify both our hearts and lives to God. The Word of God, the +doctrine of Christ, is sown in our hearts as seed in the ground, that it +may bring forth in our lives "the fruits of righteousness." The office +of faith in Christ and His doctrine is, to "work by love," to make us +"new creatures," and so bring us to keep God's commandments. The +blindest man on earth is not more blind than the man who can read the +Scriptures without perceiving that their object is to make men "perfect, +thoroughly furnished unto all good works." + +As I had never been placed for instruction under any Antinomian +theologian, and had never been taught at home, either by word or deed, +to wrest the Scriptures from their plain and simple meaning, I naturally +became a thoroughly practical preacher. I took practical texts: I +preached practical sermons. The first text from which I preached was, +"Say ye to the righteous, it shall be well with them, for they shall eat +the fruit of their doings. Wo unto the wicked, it shall be ill with him; +for the reward of his hands shall be given him." The second was, +"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." The third was, +"Ye are not your own; ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God +with your bodies and spirits, which are God's." And the fourth was, +"These shall go away into everlasting punishment; but the righteous into +life eternal." The following were among my principal texts and subjects +for many years: "Occupy till I come." "Let your light so shine before +men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is +in heaven." "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit." +"He that showeth mercy with cheerfulness." "Be ye therefore merciful, as +your Father which is in heaven is merciful." "He that winneth souls is +wise." "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he +will not depart from it." The Good Samaritan. The Prodigal Son. The +Barren Fig-tree. The Hatefulness and Wickedness of Lukewarmness. The +Woman that did what she could. The Christian's Race. The Good Steward. +The duty of Christians to strive with one heart and one mind for the +faith of the Gospel. The example of Christ. "Give no occasion to the +adversary to preach reproachfully." "And now abideth faith, hope, +charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." +"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always +abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor +is not in vain in the Lord." "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of +Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation: to every one that +believeth: to the Jew first, and also to the Greek." "I must work the +works of Him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no +man can work." "For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, +though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that ye through +His poverty might be rich." "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do +good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of +faith." "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth +that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the +flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the +Spirit reap life everlasting." "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a +fault, ye which are spiritual restore such an one, in the spirit of +meekness; considering thyself lest thou also be tempted." "And let us +not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint +not." "Feed My sheep." "Feed My lambs." "Bear ye one another's burdens, +and so fulfil the law of Christ." "Remember the poor." "Freely ye have +received; freely give." "It is more blessed to give than to receive." I +had quite a multitude of such subjects. + +I did not however confine myself to these. I did my best to declare the +whole counsel of God. I kept back nothing that seemed likely to be +useful to my hearers. I spoke on the love of God,--on the condescension +of Christ,--of His unparalleled love in giving Himself a sacrifice for +our salvation. I spoke of His sufferings and death,--of His resurrection +and mediation,--of His sympathy with our sorrows,--of His coming to +judgment. I spoke of the miseries of sin,--of the pleasures of +religion,--of the joys of heaven,--of the pains of hell,--of providence, +and of trust in God. In short, I preached on every great doctrine of +revelation as I had opportunity. I revered all God's truth, and I +preached on every part of it with fidelity. But I treated everything in +a practical way. I used every subject as a means or motive to holiness +and usefulness. And this, I believe, was right. The Apostles did +so,--Christ did so,--and they are the Christian minister's examples. + +I had a partiality for practical books. As I have already said, among my +favorite English authors were Hooker, and Baxter, and Barrow, and Howe, +and Jeremy Taylor, and Penn, and Tillotson, and Law. Baxter stood first, +and my favorite books were his _Christian Directory_, his _Life of +Faith_, his _Crucifixion of the World by the Cross of Christ_, and his +_Directions for Settled Peace of Conscience_. But, in truth, it is hard +to say which of his works I did not regard as favorites. I liked his +_Catholic Theology_, his _Aphorisms on Justification_, his +_Confessions_, and even his Latin _Methodus Theologiæ_. I read him +everlastingly. I read Law and Barrow too, till I almost knew many of +their works by heart. I studied Penn from beginning to end. And I never +got tired of reading Hooker. I regarded his _Ecclesiastical Polity_ as +one of the richest, sweetest, wisest, saintliest books under heaven. + +My favorite French authors were Massillon, Fenelon, Flechier, Bourdaloue +and Saurin, all practical preachers. Massillon moved me most. I have +read him now at intervals for more than forty years, and I read him +still with undiminished profit and delight. He is the greatest of all +preachers; the most eloquent, the most powerful; and his works abound +with the grandest, the profoundest, the most impressive and overpowering +views of truth and duty. + +Among the Fathers I liked Lactantius and Chrysostom best, not only for +the superiority of their style, but for the common sense and practical +character of their sentiments. + +My favorite Methodist author, when I first began my Christian career, +was Benson. His sermons were full of fervor and power. I felt less +interest in Wesley at first. I was incapable of duly appreciating his +works. As I grew older, and got more sense, my estimate both of his +character and writings rose, and now I like him better, and esteem him +more highly, than at any former period of my life. And I like his latest +writings best. + +I liked Fletcher very much, partly on account of the good, kind +Christian feeling that pervaded his writings, and partly on account of +his able and unanswerable defence of the enlightened and scriptural +views of Wesley, as set forth in the Minutes of 1771. + +Among the later Dissenting writers, Robert Hall was my favorite. I liked +many things in the writings of John Angell James; but there were other +things, especially in his _Anxious Inquirer_, that appeared to savor +more of mysticism than of Christianity, and that seemed better +calculated to perplex and embarrass young disciples of Christ, than to +afford them guidance and comfort. + +There were many other good authors whom I read and prized, but most of +the above I read till their thoughts and feelings became, to a great +extent, my own; and the effect of all was to strengthen the already +strong practical tendency of my mind. + +But no book did so much to make me a practical preacher as the Bible. It +is practical throughout--intensely practical, and nothing else but +practical. The moment it introduces man to our notice, it presents him +as subject to God's law, and represents his life and blessedness as +depending entirely on his obedience. God is presented from the first as +an avenger of sin, and as a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. +In His address to Cain He sets forth the whole principle of His +government: 'If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? But if thou +doest not well, sin lieth at the door.' Enoch is translated because he +walked with God. The world is destroyed because of its wickedness, and +Noah is saved because of his righteousness. Abraham is blessed because +he observes the statutes and judgments of God, and because he is ready +to make the greatest sacrifices out of respect to His commands. The sum +of the whole revelation given to the Jews is, "Behold I set before you +life and death, a blessing and a curse. Obey, and all conceivable +blessings shall be your portion: disobey, and all imaginable curses +shall fall on you." The history of the Jews is an everlasting story of +obedience and prosperity, of disobedience and adversity. The history of +individuals is the same. The just live; the wicked die. The good are +honored; the bad are put to shame. The Psalms, the Proverbs, and the +Prophets are all lessons of righteousness. Righteousness exalteth +nations; sin brings them down to destruction. And Jesus and Paul, and +Peter and James, and Jude and John, have all one aim, to bless men by +turning them away from their iniquities, and by urging them to perpetual +advancement in holiness. All the histories, all the biographies, all the +prophecies, all the parables, all the preaching, all the praying, all +the writing, all the reasoning, all the things the Book contains, have +just one object, to make men good, and urge them to grow continually +better. All the doctrines are practical, and are used as motives to +purity, love and beneficence. All the promises are given to support and +cheer people in the faithful discharge of their duty. All the warnings +are to keep men from idleness, selfishness and sin. The Church and all +its ministries; the Scriptures and all their revelations; Providence and +all its dispensations; nature and all her operations, are all presented +as means and motives to a life of holy love and usefulness. The Bible +has nothing, is nothing, but laws and lessons, aiming at the +illumination, the sanctification, the moral and spiritual perfection of +mankind. + +Idleness and selfishness are the greatest of all heresies, and love and +beneficence the perfection of all religion. No doctrine can be falser or +more anti-christian than the doctrine that a man may sow one thing and +reap another; that he may sow tares and reap wheat; or sow cockle and +reap barley--that he can grow thistles and reap figs, or plant thorns +and gather grapes. 'He that doeth good is of God;' 'he that committeth +sin is of the devil.' 'By this we know that we have passed from death +unto life, because we love the brethren.' 'By this shall all men know +that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.' 'Ye know that +every one that doeth righteousness, or lives to do good, is born of +God.' 'By their fruits ye shall know them.' Good trees will bring forth +good fruit, bad trees will bring forth bad fruit. 'Every tree that +bringeth not forth good fruit shall be hewn down and cast into the +fire.' + +But to give all the practical passages the Bible contains you must quote +the substance, the soul, the bulk of the whole Book. It is all of a +piece. It has one aim and one tendency from beginning to end, to kill +sin and foster righteousness, to crush selfishness and develop +philanthropy. It consists of a multitude of parts, written in different +ages, by a great variety of authors, in a great variety of styles, but +it has one spirit, the spirit of truth and righteousness. And the last +oracles it contains are like the first: 'Blessed are the dead that die +in the Lord; they rest from their labors, and their works follow them.' +'Blessed are they that do His commandments, that they may have a right +to the tree of life, and enter in through the gates into the city.' + +Under the influence of this most rational, common-sense, practical Book, +what could I do but become a thoroughly practical preacher? What could I +do but drink in its blessed, god-like lessons, and make it the great +business of my life to teach them and preach them to my hearers, and +urge them on their consciences as the governing principles of their +hearts and lives? + +The book of nature preaches the same practical Gospel as the Bible. +There is not a creature on earth that is not required to work. Birds, +beasts and insects must all labor, or die. The birds must build their +nests, and gather supplies of food for themselves and their young, or +they would all perish. The cattle must graze, or browse, or burrow, or +dive, or lack their needed supplies of food. The beaver must build its +dam, and the wolf must dig its hole, and both must labor for their daily +food. The bee must gather her wax, and build her cell, and fetch home +her honey, or starve. The ant must build her palace and look out for +food both for herself and her family. The spider must spin her thread, +and weave her web, and watch all day for her prey. All seek their food +from God, and obtain it at his hands as the reward of their industry. + +Every organ in man's body has to work, or the body, with all its organs, +would die. The lungs must be continually breathing, and the heart +incessantly beating, and the blood perpetually running its mysterious +round, or the whole frame would perish. And the hands must work, and the +feet must walk, and the eyes must look, and the ears must listen, and +the tongue must talk. And the jaws must grind our food, and the stomach +digest it, and the liver and the spleen, and the brain and the bowels, +and the nerves and the glands must all co-operate, or we hasten to the +dust. + +And so it is through every department of nature. All things are full of +labor. The vegetable world serves the animal world, and the animal world +serves the vegetable world, and the mineral and meteorological worlds +serve them both. And the branches of the tree shed their leaves to feed +the roots, and the roots collect moisture and nutriment from the soil to +feed the branches and the leaves. And the clouds let fall their showers, +and the sun sheds down his warmth and light, and the more mysterious +powers of nature exert their secret influences, and all things are thus +kept right. And the winds keep ever in motion, bearing away the surplus +cold of one region to temper the excessive heat of another, and carrying +back the surplus heat of the warmer climes, to soften the rigors of the +colder ones. And so throughout the universe. There is not an idle orb in +the whole heavens, nor is there an idle atom on earth. The sun the moon +and the stars are in eternal motion, and are evermore exerting their +wondrous influences for the good of the whole universe. And the streams +are ever flowing, and the sea is ever toiling. The great things and the +small, the seen and the unseen, the conscious and the unconscious, are +all at work, helping themselves, and serving each other, and +contributing with one consent to the welfare of the great mysterious +whole. Nature's laws are so framed that idleness is everywhere punished, +and honest industry everywhere rewarded. Everywhere obedience is life, +and disobedience death. Salvation by works is the principle of the +Divine Government throughout the universe, among all the creatures of +God. + +My favorite preachers were William Dawson, David Stoner and James +Parsons, all eloquent and earnest men, and all decidedly practical. I +never missed an opportunity of hearing them if they came within five or +six miles of the place where I lived. And many of their sermons which I +heard more than forty years ago are still fresh in my memory, and +continue to exert a happy influence on my heart. + +William Dawson was a local preacher, a farmer. He was a large, +broad-chested, big-headed, strong built man,--one of the finest +specimens of a well-made, thoroughly developed Englishman I ever saw. +And he was full of life. There was not a sluggish atom in his whole +body, nor a slow-going faculty in his whole soul. He had eyes like fire; +and his face was the most expressive I ever looked upon. And his voice +was loud as the fall of mighty waters. And it was wonderfully flexible, +and full of music. And he always spoke in natural tones. There was +nothing like cant or monotony in his utterance. Yet he would raise his +voice to such a pitch at times that you could hear him half a mile away. +He was the most perfect actor I ever saw, because he was not an actor at +all, but awful, absolute reality. And he was a man of wonderful +intelligence and good sense. And he was well read. His mind was full to +overflowing of the soundest religious knowledge. And his good sound +sense had no perceptible admixture of nonsense. Every sentence answered +to your best ideas of the right, the true, the holy, the divine. His +grammar, his logic, and his rhetoric were perfect, and all nature seemed +to stand by to supply him with apt, and striking, and touching +illustrations. And his soul was full of feeling. He seemed to sympathize +with every form of humanity, from the helpless babe to tottering age, +and to be one with them in all their joys and sorrows, and in all their +hopes and fears. And now he would cry with the crying child, and then he +would wail with the afflicted mother. All that is great, all that is +tender, all that is terrible,--all nature, with all that is human, and +much that was divine, seemed incarnated in him. He was the most +wonderful embodiment of all that goes to make a great, a mighty, a +complete man, and a good, an able, and an all-powerful preacher, it ever +was my privilege to see. As a matter of course, his prayers, his +sermons, and his public speeches were irresistible. Sinners trembled, +and fell on their knees praying and howling. Saints shouted, and lost +themselves in transports. His congregations were always crowded, and the +dense, mixed masses of men and women, good and evil, old and young, all +were moved by him like the sea by a strong wind. All understood him: all +felt him; and all were awed and bowed as by the power of God. His +sermons were always practical. Whether he spake to the saint or the +sinner, he went directly to the conscience. And all that he said you +saw. Sin stared you full in the face and looked unspeakably sinful; it +rose and stood before you a monster group of all imaginable horrors and +abominations. The sinner shook, he shrank, he writhed at the sight, in +mortal agony. God, as Dawson pictured Him, was terrible in majesty and +infinite in glory. Jesus was the perfection of tenderness, of love, and +power, and almighty to save. Thousands were converted under him. His +influence pervaded the whole country, and was everywhere a check on +evil, and a power for good. The effect of his ministry on me, on my +imagination, my mind and my heart, was living and powerful to the last +degree, and I remember his sermons, and feel his power, to the present +day, and he will dwell in my memory, to be loved and honored, as long as +I live. + +David Stoner was a travelling preacher. He lived in the same village as +William Dawson, and was a member of his class. He was a disciple of +Dawson in every respect, but in no respect a servile imitator. He was a +man and not a slave. And he had much of Dawson's sense, and much of +Dawson's power, though little or nothing of Dawson's natural dramatic +manner. He was a fountain pouring forth a perpetual stream of truth and +holy influence. The two were one in love, and light, and power, but in +manner they differed as much as any two powerful preachers I ever knew. +Both live in my soul, and speak with my voice, and write with my pen. +Both had an influence in determining both the method of my preaching and +the manner of my life in my early days. + +James Parsons was a Congregationalist. His character, and the character +of his preaching, may be learned from his published sermons. But, +strange to say, the sermons published by himself, are not near so good, +nor do they convey half so good an idea of his power, as those reported +by short-hand writers and published by others. He was more, and better, +and mightier in the pulpit, before a large and living congregation, than +in his closet alone. My remembrance of these three great and godly men, +and powerful Christian ministers, is a rich and eternal treasure. I can +never come near them, but I may follow them, as I did in the days of my +youth, "Afar off." + +Whether the strong practical tendency of my mind did not carry me too +far sometimes, and make my preaching somewhat one-sided, I cannot say. I +may not be considered qualified to judge. I have, however, an opinion on +the subject. My impression is, that my method of preaching was +thoroughly scriptural and evangelical. And it was, I believe, the kind +of preaching which the Church and the world particularly needed. It was, +too, the kind of preaching to which I believe I was specially called, +and for which I was specially fitted. It was the only kind in which I +felt myself perfectly at home. And the effects were good. Sinners were +converted. Unbelievers were convinced. And believers were improved and +comforted. They were led to read and study the Scriptures more, and to +read and study them with greater pleasure, and to greater profit. They +became more enamoured of Christianity, more zealous for its spread, and +more able in its defence. + +And the societies among which I labored always prospered, and those +among which I labored most prospered most abundantly. My labors proved +especially useful to the young. My classes were crowded with thoughtful, +earnest, inquiring youths. And those who fell under my influence became, +as a rule, intelligent, devoted, and useful characters. Not a few of +them continue laborious and exemplary Christians, and able and +successful ministers, to the present day. I meet with good and useful +people almost everywhere, many of whom are in the ministry, who +acknowledge me as their spiritual father, and consider themselves +indebted to my former ministry, and to my early writings, both for their +standing and usefulness in the Church, and for their success and +happiness in life. + +One would suppose that a method of preaching which was followed by such +happy results, should have been encouraged. And so it was by the great +mass of the people. They heard me gladly. They came in crowds wherever I +was announced to preach, and filled the largest chapels to their utmost +capacity. They drank in my words with eagerness, and made no secret of +the place I occupied in their affection and esteem. But many of my +brethren in the ministry regarded me with great disquietude. They +thought my preaching grievously defective. "It failed," they said, "to +give due prominence to the distinctive features of the gospel economy." +"It is good," they would say, "as far as it goes; but it does not go far +enough. It is too vague, too general. His sermons are beautiful and good +in their way, but they are not the Gospel. They are true; but they are +not the whole truth. There is not enough of Christ in them. We find +fault with them, not for what they _contain_, but for what they do _not_ +contain. True, they make mention of the great facts and doctrines of +Christianity, but they do not make enough of them; they do not dwell on +them as their constant theme." They made many such complaints. They +charged me with winning from my hearers, for a partial and defective +view of the Gospel, the love and reverence which were due only to a very +different view. They called me a legalist, a work-monger, and other +offensive names. They charged me too with spoiling the people, with +giving them a distaste for ordinary kinds of preaching, and making it +hard for other preachers to follow me. The complaints they whispered in +the ears of their friends soon found their way to mine. I endeavored to +justify myself by appeals to Scripture, to Wesley, and to other +authorities. It would have been better perhaps if I had kept silent and +gone quietly on with my work. But some of my friends thought otherwise. +They wished to be furnished with answers to my traducers, and so +constrained me to speak. My defence only led to renewed and more violent +attacks. My opponents could not think well of my style of preaching, +without thinking ill of their own. They could not acknowledge my method +to be evangelical, without confessing their own to be grievously +defective, and to have expected them to do that would have been the +extreme of folly. They could do no other therefore than regard me as a +dangerous man, and do what they could to bring my preaching and +sentiments into suspicion, and prepare the way for my exclusion from the +ministry. This was the second cause of the unhappy feeling which took +possession of my mind. + +A few quotations from a Journal written about this time may be of use +and interest here. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +EXTRACTS FROM MY DIARY. + + +I heard T. Batty yesterday. His text was, "Come unto Me all ye that +labor, and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." He urged people +to come to Christ, but he never told them what it was to come to Him. We +cannot come to Him literally now, as people did when He was on earth; +but we can leave all other teachers and guides, and renounce the +dominion of our appetites and passions, and put ourselves under His +teaching and government. In other words, we can become Christians; we +can learn Christ's doctrine and obey it, and, thus obeying, trust in Him +for salvation. But Mr. Batty said not a word about this. He talked as if +all that people had to do, was to roll themselves on Christ, or cast +themselves on Him just as they were. He made all the passages about +bringing forth fruits meet for repentance,--hearing Christ's words and +doing them,--denying ourselves and taking up our cross,--using our +talents, working in His cause, &c., of no effect. He said, "Come just as +you are. If you tarry till you are better, you will never come at all;" +which seems to me, neither Scripture nor common sense. To come to +Christ, in the proper sense of the words, is to become better;--it is to +cease to live to ourselves and sin, and to live to God. Hence Christ, in +connection with Mr. Batty's text says, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn +of Me, for I am meek, and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto +your souls." The meaning of this is, give up the service of self and +sin, and serve me. Take me for your pattern, and be as I am, and live as +I live. But he never noticed the latter part of the passage. + +--What a blessed thing it is to have so many good books! They are a +world of comfort to me, as well as a means of ever-increasing spiritual +good. And they are evermore startling and delighting me with striking +oracles of Christian truth. Here is one from Baxter. "Every truth of God +is appointed to be His instrument, to do some holy work upon your +heart! _Charity_ is the end of _truth_." Here is another: "The Gospel is +a seal, on which is engraven the portrait, the likeness of Christ. Our +hearts are the wax, on which the seal should be impressed, and to which +the likeness should be transferred. The duty of ministers and of all +religious teachers is to apply the seal to men's hearts, that all may be +brought to bear the image, the likeness of Christ." + +--I always placed the moral element of religion above the doctrinal; +charity above faith; good living above any kind of opinions. + +--This afternoon Mr. Burrows preached on Mary's choice, but he left the +matter in a mist. He talked about sitting at Christ's feet, but did not +say what it meant. We cannot do that literally now; but we can do what +amounts to the same thing. We can _read_ Christ's words in the +_Gospels_, as Mary _heard_ them from His _lips_; and we can do as He +bids us, and look to Him for all we need. And this, in truth, is the +"one thing needful." But he did not put the matter in this light. He +probably did not see it in this light. He would have been afraid perhaps +to receive or to give so simple an explanation of the matter. + +I had a talk with Mr. Woodhouse last night, about man's natural state. +He preached on the subject on Tuesday night, and said things which, to +me, seemed unwarranted. He said men can do nothing good, till they are +regenerated. + +Is that your idea? said I. + +Of course. Are they not _dead_? And what can dead men do? + +I suppose they can do as God bids them, "Arise from the dead." You spoke +of the result of Adam's sin, but you said nothing of the effect of the +second Adam's doings. Now I believe that we are put in as good a +position by Christ, for serving God and obtaining heaven, as we should +have been if Adam had not sinned. I believe men have good thoughts, good +feelings, and do good things, before they are regenerated; and that they +are regenerated in consequence of their good thoughts, good purposes, +and good deeds. "They consider their ways," and turn to God. They cease +to do evil, and learn to do well, and so get washed. They purify their +hearts in obeying the truth. They cleanse their hands and purify their +hearts. They come out from the ungodly, and leave their ungodly ways, +and then God receives them. They hear God's word or read it; and faith +comes by hearing and reading; and faith works by love, and makes them +new creatures. + +Besides, you know we could not help what Adam did, and you talked as if +Adam's sin made it impossible for us to do anything else but sin, thus +throwing the blame of the sins of all the unregenerate on Adam; and that +is neither Scriptural nor wise. There are two tendencies in unregenerate +people, one to good, and one to evil, and it is their duty to resist the +one and obey the other, and thus to seek for regeneration. That is as I +understand the Bible. And I always try to make people believe and feel, +that if they do not get regenerated, and keep God's commandments, it is +their own fault, and neither Adam's nor God's. + +We talked nearly an hour, but I fancy Mr. W. did not seem to understand +either me or the Bible. It is strange that people can't take God's word +as it stands, and content themselves with speaking as the oracles of God +speak. If we can't do anything but sin till we are regenerated, who is +to blame for our sin, but He who neglects to regenerate us? What +horrible notions are mistaken by some for Gospel? "Send out, O God, thy +light and truth; let them lead me and guide me." + +--Poor Mr. Woodhouse is full of trouble. He thinks me wrong, but does +not see how to put me right. + +--What a curious creature Mr. Batty is. How in the world did he come to +be a preacher? A stranger, sillier talker I think I never heard. I +cannot say he is childish exactly. Children talk nonsense plenty +sometimes, but no child could talk the kind of nonsense Mr. Batty talks. +Last night his text was, "He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and +with fire." But he forgot the Holy Ghost, and talked only about fire. +His object seemed to be to prove that fire would _burn_. He mentioned +several fires spoken of in the Bible that _did_ burn, such as the fire +that consumed Sodom and Gomorrah; the fire that formed one of the +plagues of Egypt; &c., but he came at length on the fire in the bush +that Moses saw, and, poor man, he was obliged to acknowledge that that +would not burn. The bush was unconsumed. He got away from that fire as +soon as he could, and found a number of other fires that _did_ burn. By +and by however he came upon the burning fiery furnace of Nebuchadnezzar. +This would burn _some_ that were thrown into it, but it would not burn +others. Then he talked about the fire of Moscow, and said, that _that_ +fire gave as much light to the moon, as the moon gives to the earth, and +he added, that the flames of the burning city made such a blaze, that we +might have seen it in England, if it had not been for the hills. And +this is the talk that sensible people are expected to go and hear. + +--Mr. W. preached one of Mr. Melville's sermons last night. It was a +good one though, and I had rather a man preached another man's good +sense, than his own nonsense. And I had rather hear a good sermon read, +than a bad one spoken. Let us have good sound sense, real Christian +doctrine, and fervent Christian love, in the first place, and then as +many other good things as we can get. But do let the children of God +have good wholesome bread, the bread of heaven, and pure living water +from the wells of salvation. Don't try to feed men's souls with chaff or +chopped straw, and don't give them mud or muddy water to drink. + +--Heard Mr. Hulme last night on "The Cross of Christ." The sermon was an +attempt at fine preaching. It was not to my taste. The preacher did not +seem to understand his subject. What he said had nothing to do with the +conscience or the heart. It was talk,--tumid talk--high-swelling words, +nothing more. + +--Heard Mr. Allen preach on the Flood. He talked a deal about +granite--labored hard to prove something; but whether he succeeded or +not, I cannot exactly tell. It was a "_great_ sermon" and had little +effect. I did not feel much interest in it. + +--Heard him preach another great sermon on Isaiah's vision. It amounted +to nothing. I prefer a simpler and more practical kind of preaching. + +--Heard him preach another sermon on death by Adam. It was not so great +nor so foolish as the others. The logic was wearisome, but the +application was tolerable. + +--Heard Dr. Newton, on preaching Christ. His views on the subject are +very different from Wesley's, and as different from mine. I have heard +many silly sermons on the subject, but not one wise one. Many seem to be +afraid of being sensible on religious subjects. They are wise enough on +smaller matters; it is only on the greatest that their understandings +are at fault. But the silliest preachers repeat good words in their +sermons, such as Christ, God, love and heaven, and these words no doubt +call up good thoughts, and revive good feelings in the minds of people, +so that the most pitiful preachers may be of some use. But how much more +useful would good, sound, sensible and truly Christian preachers be, who +always talked plain Christian truth, and pressed it home in a loving, +Christ-like spirit. + +--Heard Mr. Curtis last night. His text and introduction were good; but +the sermon was good for nothing. + +--Heard Mr. Pea this afternoon. The chief use of many preachers is to +visit the members, and stand at the head of the societies as centres of +union. They do not do much good by preaching. + +--God save me from error and sin. Lead me in the way of truth and +righteousness. I feel a dreadful contempt for some men's preaching. Save +me from going too far. But really, to hear how careful some are to warn +people against thinking too highly of good works, one might suppose that +the world and the Church were going to be sent to perdition for too much +piety and charity; for doing too much good, and making too many +sacrifices for God and the salvation of the world. O fools and blind, +not to see, that selfishness, idleness, luxury, pride, worldliness, +slavery to fashion, neglect of the Bible, ignorance and lukewarmness are +the things which disgrace and weaken the Church, and hinder the +salvation of mankind. + +--Mr. Stoner preached powerfully last night. He said all true Christians +would "sigh and cry on account of the abominations that are done in the +land,--that they would accompany their sighing and crying with ceaseless +labors for the removal of those abominations,--that they would try to +bring the world into the Church, and lift up the Church to the standard +exhibited in the life and character of Christ,--that they would pray, +teach, live and give, and if needful, suffer for this great end." I +have not heard such a practical,--such a truly Christian Gospel sermon +for a long time. + +--I notice, that in some men's mouths, evangelical sermons mean +theological sermons,--wood, hay, and stubble sermons,--sermons without +any Gospel in them; and that sermons which are evangelical indeed, they +talk of as legal, moral, dry. + +--Mr. Lynn preached on the fall of Jericho yesterday. It was quite a +dramatic sermon, and it was plainly interesting to the congregation. I +expect it was useful too. There was not much Christian truth in it, but +it stirred the people's better feelings. It made them feel like doing +something for God. The nonsensical theology introduced would not be +understood I hope. + +--Heard Mr. T. Parsons preach a beautiful Christian sermon on "Brethren, +if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a +one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself lest thou also be +tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of +Christ." It was full of useful instruction and needful caution, and it +was uttered in a truly Christian spirit. It did me good. + +--Heard Mr. Scott on justification. He ventured to "speak as the oracles +of God." It was a thoroughly Gospel and Wesleyan sermon. He was plainer +than he is in his pamphlets on that subject. I can't say he _made_ the +subject plain, for it was plain already in the Bible--but he _left_ it +plain, and that is saying a great deal. He said that the simple way for +a man who believes in Christ, to obtain pardon and eternal life is, to +do God's will. I distinguish between faith and trust; faith is _belief_; +trust or hope is one of its fruits. People _believe_ in Christ, and turn +to God; then they _trust_ in Christ and find peace. He did not state +this point with sufficient clearness; and that was the only defect I saw +in the discourse. How rich and how apt he is in Scriptural quotations +and illustrations! I had rather hear one of his discourses, than ten of +Mr. Allin's. And I had rather hear ten of his, than one of Mr. Allin's. +I had rather hear one of Mr. Allin's, than ten; and I had rather hear +ten of Mr. Scott's than one. I could listen to Mr. Scott the whole year +round. + +--I have just been reading a big book, nearly five hundred pages, on the +way of salvation. The Scriptures explain the way of salvation in less +than a thousandth part the space. "Repent and be converted, that your +sins may be blotted out;" that's the first thing: "Be ye steadfast, +unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord:" that's the second. +These two include the whole way of salvation. "Blessed is everyone that +hears the word of God and keeps it." This is both in one. Mystery makers +would be a proper name for some theologians. "In the multitude of words +there wanteth not sin;" and there's a fearful multitude of words,--idle +words, and mischievous ones too,--in that Book. "When will vain words +have an end?" + +--Mr. Hatman preached on instantaneous sanctification last night. He was +very confused, and, as I think, inconsistent in his remarks; and his +arguing about the instantaneousness of sanctification seemed weak. +Sanctification, in Scripture language, means, 1. Separation of things +and persons from common uses, and consecration to sacred uses. 2. +Purification. A man is sanctified in the first sense when he ceases to +do evil, and begins to do well; and he is sanctified in the second sense +in proportion as he is freed from inward defilement, from bad passions, +bad tempers, bad dispositions, bad tendencies, and filled with love to +God, to Christ, to God's people, to mankind at large, and to all things +true and good. There is no mystery about sanctification. People are +sanctified by God's truth. Christ's doctrine enters the mind, and is the +means of changing both the disposition and the life. Men are sanctified +by the Spirit, using the truth as its instrument. They are sanctified by +afflictions, used by God as means to bring them to think on the truth, +and see its meaning, and feel its power. They are sanctified by faith, +which is a belief in the Truth. They are sanctified by their own +efforts, "Cleansing themselves from all filthiness, both of the flesh +and the spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of the Lord." "For every +one that hath this hope,--the Christian hope of heaven,--in him, +purifieth himself even as God is pure." All this is perfectly plain. But +where does the Scripture say anything about people being wholly +sanctified, or perfected in goodness, instantaneously, by some +particular act of faith? "But God can do it in an instant," said Mr. +Hatman. But it is not all God's work. It is partly ours; and it is +partly the truth's. Can _man_ purify himself as God is pure, in an +instant? God could make a babe into a man in an instant, for anything I +know; but that is not His way. He allows it to grow gradually, first by +the use of milk and exercise, and then by the use of stronger meat, and +greater labors. And according to Scripture, this is His plan of bringing +up spiritual babes to spiritual manhood. God could make seed produce a +crop instantaneously, if He would, I suppose; but His plan is to let the +grain grow and ripen gradually. And it is His plan, according to +Scripture, to let the spiritual grain grow up and the spiritual harvest +ripen gradually. And it is better it should be so. Gradual growth in +knowledge and goodness is most conducive, I believe, to the happiness of +man. I would not make a child into a man all at once if I could. I would +let him have the pleasure and the privilege of passing, in the ordinary +way, through all the intermediate stages. Nor would I alter the +arrangement with regard to spiritual growth. It is best to learn a +lesson at a time. You might raise the dough quicker by gunpowder than by +leaven or yeast; but I prefer to see it raised in the ordinary way. I am +content to grow in grace and knowledge, as people grow in strength and +stature. It is God's plan, and I like it. If anybody can pass from the +gates of hell to the gates of heaven, from the bottom of the horrible +pit to the top of the delectable mountains at a jump, let him; I prefer +to trudge with ordinary pilgrims, and enjoy the pleasures of the +journey, and the beautiful scenery of the road, at my leisure. "The ways +are ways of pleasantness; the paths are paths of peace;" and I enjoy +them. And I would not for the world, make the impression on people's +minds, that they are in danger of perdition, if they cannot skip across +the universe from hell to heaven in no time. God likes spiritual +children as well as spiritual men, though He would not have them to +continue children. Why should preachers make things hard that God makes +easy, and require impossible tasks where God asks only a reasonable +service? Some folks have little minds, and some have crooked ones. +That's my view of the matter. I am charged with rejecting God's truth. +The fact however is, God's truth is the joy and rejoicing of my heart. +It is my pleasant food. But I do not like some people's manglement of +that truth, and I sometimes think the manglers belong to the class +of whom Christ said, "It were good for those men if they had never +been born." They lay stumbling-blocks in men's ways, and cause them +to fall into doubt, perplexity, and misery. I am a believer in +sanctification,--full sanctification,--but I won't go beyond the Bible +in what I say, either on this or any other point. I will go as far as +the Bible, but no farther. + +--Christianity is love; and love prompts to diligence in all good works. +To be a Christian is to have the mind of Christ; but the mind of Christ +was a self-sacrificing mind. "He pleased not Himself," but lived and +labored, suffered and died, for the welfare of mankind. + +How seldom one hears a sermon on living for the good of others,--on +loving our neighbors as ourselves,--on going about doing good. I have +read sermons on those subjects; but I have not heard one for years. I +have heard _charity_ sermons as they are called, and missionary sermons, +into which a remark or two on doing good were thrown; but a _sermon_ on +the subject I have not heard. Certain preachers talk about preaching +Christ, but they preach any thing rather than Christ. + +--I have just been reading a labored and foolish attempt to prove that +Abel was accepted because he offered animals to God, and that Cain was +rejected because he offered the fruits of the ground. There is no end to +the nonsense that can be talked and written on religious subjects. Here +is a man from whom one expected instruction and guidance, wasting his +great powers in worse than idleness. It is a foolish and a dangerous +thing to hang the doctrine of reconciliation or redemption on a slender +hook, when there are strong ones plenty to hang it on. But it is not the +_Christian_ doctrine of redemption for which Mr. W. labors so zealously, +but a theory, a crotchet, an invention of the elders. The doctrine +itself requires no labored proof, no doubtful criticisms, no learned or +unlearned inquiry into Greek and Hebrew etymologies. It lies on the +surface of the sacred page. "The Son of man came not to be ministered +unto, but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many." "He died +the just for the unjust, to bring us to God." "He died for all, that +they who live should henceforth live not unto themselves, but unto Him +who died for them and rose again." These theorists make Christianity +disgusting by their metaphysical vanities, and their outlandish jargon. +The idea that it is necessary for me to believe that Abel understood the +Christian doctrine of redemption, is monstrous. There is no proof that +Abel know anything about it. The probabilities lean all the other way. +It is a pity those self-satisfied theorizers have not something else to +do, than to encumber religion and perplex good people by their miserable +speculations. + +--There's another book, one thousand two hundred and fifty pages, by a +man that had real talent, and that could preach well when he took in +hand practical subjects, and who had the appearance of a good man, and +nine-tenths of this work of his is mischievous trifling. The clown at a +theatre, the mountebank on the stage, are not so badly employed as +theological triflers, who darken counsel by words without knowledge. It +is not in prayer only, but in preaching and writing, that men should be +in God's fear, and let their words be few. + +Mr. Jones preached last night on Christ in you, the hope of glory. I can +understand, 1. How Christ, in the sense of _Christianity_, or the +_doctrine_ of Christ, can be in us. We sometimes hear from people such +expressions as: "He is full of Plato, or full of Seneca, or full of +Shakespeare," when speaking of a man who has got his mind full of the +sentiments of those writers. And I can understand well enough how +Christianity, which brings life and immortality to light, should beget +in men's minds a hope of glory. 2. I can understand how Christ, in the +sense of Christ's _spirit_, _temper_, _disposition_, _mind_, can be in +us. We sometimes say of a person who exhibits much of his father's +disposition, He has got a deal of his father in him. And I can +understand how Christ in us in this sense should be, or should kindle, +the hope of glory. For the mind of Christ is man's fitness for glory. +The mind of Christ, and the life to which it prompts, are the things to +which eternal glory is promised. But I couldn't understand Mr. Jones. +Either he had no ideas on the subject, or he failed to convey them to +me. + +--I see no mystery in John's doctrine that God dwells in those in whom +love dwells, for God is love. And I see no mystery in what Peter says +about Christians being partakers of the divine nature; for the Divine +nature is purity, wisdom and love. We share the common human nature and +the common animal nature; that is, we have certain qualities or +properties in common with men generally, and with the inferior orders of +living things. So we share the divine nature, when we have the same +dispositions, affections, qualities as the divine Being. And the +properties of the divine being are purity, knowledge, love. + +--I have just been listening to another antinomian sermon. The preacher +contended that we are justified and saved solely on account of what +Christ has done and suffered for us, and that the only thing we have to +do, is to believe this, or trust in the merits of Christ, and be at rest +as to our eternal destiny. But if we are saved _solely_ on account of +what Christ has done and suffered, why talk as if our _believing_ this, +or _trusting in Christ's_ merits, was necessary to salvation? Why not go +a step further and say, that neither believing nor trusting has anything +to do with our salvation? But the whole theory is as anti-scriptural and +false as it is foolish and mischievous. The preacher said, "We are not +under the law,--Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law." Very +true; but we are under the Gospel; and the Gospel requires a more +perfect life than the law required. The law of Christ is much stricter +than the law of Moses. He said, "By the works of the law no flesh living +can be justified." But we may still be justified by the works of the +Gospel. "Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." "By thy words shalt thou be +justified, and by thy words shalt thou be condemned." "With what measure +ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." "Blessed are the merciful, +for they shall obtain mercy." "Because thou hast been faithful over a +few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into +the joy of thy Lord." "Repent and be converted, that your sins may be +blotted out." "We have confidence in the day of judgment, because as He +was so are we in this world." + +He said circumcision availeth nothing; and it is true that "the +circumcision which is outward in the flesh" avails nothing under the +Christian dispensation: but that which is inward, namely, the putting +away of all filthiness, and living a holy life, availeth much. + +Then followed a lot of unscriptural and unwise talk about our own +righteousness and Christ's righteousness. But the truth is, when we love +God and keep His commandments,--when we love Christ and do as He bids +us, and believe, in consequence, that we are approved of God, and in a +fair way for heaven, we trust in _God's_ righteousness, or _Christ's_ +righteousness, and not in a righteousness of our own. The righteousness +of God means the righteousness which God _requires_; the righteousness +of _Christ_ means obedience to His precepts, and conformity to His mind +and character. True, if I obey the Gospel, my obedience is my own, but +the _law_, or the righteousness _prescribed_, is Christ's. It is when +men make a law of their own,--when they set aside God's law, and put +some other law in its place, and expect God's blessing in consequence of +obeying that, that they trust in their _own_ righteousness. And in all +such cases men's own righteousness, in God's sight, is "as filthy rags." +But hearty, loving obedience to God's _own_ law is never regarded by Him +"as filthy rags," but as a rich adorning. Real Christian goodness is, in +the sight of God, "of great price." + + "Than gold or pearls more precious far, + And brighter than the morning star." + +Christian obedience is a sacrifice with which God is well pleased: "To +do good and to communicate forget not, for with such sacrifices God is +well pleased." He alone trusts in the righteousness of Christ who hears +Christ's words and does them,--who cultivates Christ's mind, and lives +as Christ lived, and who, in doing so, expects, according to Christ's +promise, God's blessing and eternal life. The idea that God looks on any +persons as having lived like Christ when they have not done so; or that +He supposes any persons to be righteous, or treats them as righteous, +when they are not so, is foolish and anti-scriptural in the extreme. And +it is unmethodistical too. Yet here is a Methodist preacher so-called, +dealing out this mischievous and miserable folly. And alas he is not +alone. And these are the men who abuse others as heretics. + +--The good done where preachers preach theology is not done by the +preaching, I fancy, but by stray truth from the Gospels, and by the +Christian lives and Christian labors of simple-minded, Bible-loving, +non-theological members of the church. God bless them! + +--Wesley has thirty definitions of religion, and they all mean, in +substance, loving God and loving man, and living to do good. Wesley was +always sensible in proportion as he got away from under the influence of +the prevailing Theology. + +--Some talk as if a religious education can never be the means of a +child's conversion,--that, do for your children what you will, they will +still, like others, require a distinct and full conversion when they +come of age. I cannot see why a good Christian mother talking to her +child from her old arm-chair, and praying with it as it kneels by her +side, or the good example and godly training of a pious father, may not +be made as effectual to the gradual conversion of a child as the +preaching of a pastor from the pulpit. Nor can I see why a gradual +elevation of a child to the higher spiritual life should not be as +possible and as probable as the sudden elevation of a hardened and +inveterate sinner. 'You cannot give your children grace,' it is said: +but it is easy to answer, 'GOD can give children grace through +the medium of Christian parents, as well as through public preachers and +teachers.' I encourage people to bring up their children in Christian +knowledge and goodness, by telling them that God may be expected to +bless their labors to the sanctification and salvation of their children +from their early days. Baxter used to thank God that he was led by his +good parents to love God so early that he could not recollect a time +when he did not love Him. + +--Churches exist in this world to remind us of the eternal laws which we +are bound to obey. So far as they do this, they answer their end, and +are honored in doing so. It would have been better for all of us--it +would be better for us now, could churches keep this their peculiar +function steadily and singly before them. Unfortunately, they have +preferred in later times the speculative side of things to the +practical. + +--There is a tendency in men to corrupt religion; to change it from an +aid and incentive to a holy life, into a contrivance to enable men to +sin without fear of punishment. Obedience to God's law is dispensed +with, if men will diligently profess certain opinions, or practically +take part in certain rites. However scandalous the moral life, the +profession of a particular belief, or attention to certain forms, at the +moment of death, is held to clear the soul. + +--It would be easy to give a hundred instances of doctrines to be heard +in sermons and found in religious books, which are nowhere taught in +Scripture. And some of them exert a mighty influence for evil on the +church and the world. They check the spread of Christianity. They +strengthen the cause of infidelity. They keep people away from Christ. +They make an all but impassable gulf between the church and the mass of +humanity. + +--Some think they would not have enough to talk about if they were to +give up all the doctrines or notions for which I say there is no +scriptural authority. One preacher told me I had already spoiled some of +his best sermons. He said he had never been able to preach them with +comfort since he began to listen to my conversation. The truth is, +preachers will never know what great, good things there are to be talked +about, till they get rid of their foolish fancies. Nor will they know +the true pleasure of talking till they come to feel that their +utterances are the words of eternal truth. And so far will they be from +not having enough to talk about, that if they give themselves in a +Christian spirit, to study the truth as it is in Jesus, they will never +have time to utter a tenth of the blessed things that will present +themselves to their minds. + +A hundred years would not afford me time enough to say all that I get +glimpses of on religious subjects as presented in nature and in the +Scriptures. Every subject I take in hand requires ten times more time to +do it justice than is generally allowed for a sermon. And the subjects +are numberless. We live in an infinite universe of truth. + +"I rejoice," says one, "that I have been led, in the course of God's +providence, to do so much as I have done, towards purging revelation +from those doctrines and practices which were discordant with its +teachings, and prevented its reception with many." + +Shall I ever be able to do anything in this way? God help me. If I could +make the Church and the ministry more Christ-like, and more powerful for +good, what a blessing it would be. What a world of work wants doing, +both in the church and in the world. Save me from an impatient, +pugnacious, disagreeable spirit. Perhaps I see the needs of others more +than I feel my own. Perhaps I am in danger of being more eager for +reform in others, than for a thoroughly Christian spirit and behavior in +myself. + +How many words and phrases one hears in sermons and in prayers, and what +heaps of expressions one meets with in religious works, that are not +warranted by Scripture or common sense! + +--Some of the words and phrases that are more frequently used by +Christians than any other, are unscriptural ones. Some of them express +unscriptural ideas. Some of them are names of things that have no +existence. Both the words and the ideas for which they stand are +anti-christian. Many of the things said from the pulpit are +unintelligible. The people strain their minds to get at a meaning, but +to no purpose. It is Latin or Greek to them. They listen, but do not +learn. They hear sounds, but catch no sense. They reverence, they +worship, but they do not understand. They believe, they feel, that there +are great spiritual realities, but they are not made clear to their +minds. The devouter portion of the people still pray, and on the whole, +live sober, righteous and godly lives; but multitudes are discouraged, +and take themselves away. + + "The hungry sheep look up and are not fed." + +They hear words, but get no ideas. Religion does not come to them from +the pulpit as a reality. It does not make itself felt as truth. Books +and lecturers on science treat of realities, and treat of them in words +that can be understood; but many books on religion, and many preachers, +seem to deal only in words. And the consequence is, many fancy religion +is a delusion, a fanaticism, a dream. Others believe there is something +in it, but they cannot conceive what it is. Yet teachers and preachers +appear not properly to understand why so many get weary of sermons and +religious books. Let them talk in plain good English, and say nothing +but what has some great Christian reality under it, and sermons and +religious books will be the most popular things on earth. + +--I would never sacrifice Christian truth to conciliate the world; but I +would sacrifice everything at variance with Christian truth; and I would +present Christian truth itself in as intelligible and taking a form as +possible. + +--The antinomian theology has had a terribly corrupting effect on many +members of churches. I meet proofs of it every day. God help me to do my +duty. Some of my hearers say to me, 'We come to church to be comforted, +and not to be continually told to do, do, do.' I do not wish people to +be comforted unless they will do their duty; and they will never _lack_ +comfort if they _do_ do it. Comfort is for those who labor to comfort +and benefit others, and not for those who care only for themselves. I +try to make the easy-going, indolent and selfish professors miserable: +and in some cases I succeed. But I make others happy, thank God, by +inducing them to give themselves heartily to Christian work. + +--Here are a few more good words from Baxter: 'Many proclaim the praise +of truth in general, but reject and persecute its various portions. The +_name_ of truth they honor, but the truth itself they despise.' + +'Passion is a great seducer of the understanding, and strangely blindeth +and perverteth the judgment.' + +'When passion hath done boiling and the heart is cooled, and leaveth the +judgment to do its work without clamor and disturbance, it is strange to +see how things will appear to you to be quite of another tendency than +in your frenzy you esteemed them.' + +'Be more studious to hold and improve those common truths which all +profess, than to oppose the particular opinions of any, except so far as +those common truths require you to do so.' + +'Be not borne down by the censoriousness of any, to outrun your own +understanding and the truth, and to comply with them in their errors and +extremes; but hold to the truth and keep your station. 'Let them return +unto thee, but return not thou unto them.' Jer. xv. 19.' + +'Believe nothing that contradicteth the end of all religion. If its +tendency be against a holy life, it cannot be truth.' + +'Plead not the darker texts of Scripture against those that are more +plain and clear, nor a few texts against many that are as plain. That +passage that is interpreted against the most plain and frequent +expressions of the Scriptures is certainly misinterpreted.' + +I will carry out these principles to the best of my ability. + +--I notice that Christ never tells people that they cannot repent and do +God's will without divine help. He did not think it necessary to supply +people with excuses for their neglect of duty. And He knew that divine +help is never withheld from any man. All _have_ the help needed to do +what God requires. There is no danger of any man trying to do anything +good before he receives power from God. God is always beforehand with +men. + +--I have had a troubled night. I have not slept soundly for a week. I +have had odd hours of sleep, but never a quarter of a night's unbroken +rest. Parties will talk with me about religion, and I am foolish enough +to talk with them, yet we never quite agree. They insist on the +sacredness of every old notion and of every old word they have received +from their teachers, and I believe in the sacredness of nothing but +Scripture truth and common sense. They cannot understand me, and I +cannot accept their nonsense. And they have no idea of liberty or +toleration. They allow no excuse for not being sound in the faith, and +no one is sound in the faith according to their notions but those who +agree with them. They know nothing of the foundation on which the +Connexion was built. They know nothing of Wesley: nothing, at least, of +his liberal views. The fundamental principles of the Connexion justify +me in my freedom of investigation, and in the sentiments which I hold +and teach; but they do not know this. They know nothing but that every +one is to think as they think, and talk as they talk. Hence they keep me +on the rack. + +I am tired. I feel sad. I could weep. I feel as if I could like to run +away, like Elijah, and hide myself in the wilds of some great mountain. +But no; I must stand my ground, and do my duty. Shall truth be timid, +and error bold? Shall folly rage and be confident, and wisdom be afraid +to whisper? Help me, O God, to do my duty as Thy servant, and as the +minister of Thy Gospel. + +--There are some verses of hymns that are sung in almost all religious +assemblies that have nothing answering to them in Scripture. John Wesley +once said, that the hymns which were the greatest favorites among the +Methodists were the worst in the whole Hymn Book. It is the same still I +fear, to some extent. Let those who would like to know to what words and +hymns we refer, take themselves to task for a time, and demand +Scriptural authority for every word and expression they utter. We would +save them the trouble, were it not that we have learned that instruction +from others is of no use to people who do not endeavor to teach +themselves. + +But take a sample or two. I cannot sing the following: + + "Forbid it Lord that I should boast + Save in the death of Christ my God." + + "The immortal God hath died for me," &c. + +Jesus died, and God dwelt in Jesus, but God did not die. Great +allowances are made to poets; but they should not be encouraged to write +impossibilities. + + "A heart that always feels Thy blood," &c. + +I feel thankful for the love which led Jesus to die for me; but I cannot +say I feel the blood. I feel the happy effects of the death or +blood-shedding of Jesus; and perhaps that is what the poet means. + + "When from the dust of death I rise, + To claim my mansion in the skies, + Even then this shall be all my plea, + Jesus hath lived and died for me." + +This is not scriptural. The good servant in the parable of the talents +says: "Lord, Thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have +gained besides them five talents more." And so far was his Lord from +finding fault with his plea, that he answered, "Well done, good and +faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make +thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord." And +why may not other faithful servants use the same plea? + +John makes perfect love, or likeness to Jesus, the ground of confidence +or boldness in the day of judgment. How strange that Christian writers +should be so ignorant of the Bible, or so regardless of its teachings. +Some of them seem to think they are saying very fine things when they +are talking their anti-Christian nonsense. Help me, O God, to speak and +act in accordance with Thy word. + +Fine writing may be a fine thing, but true writing is a finer. + +I suppose it is as hard for theologians to give up their anti-Christian +words and notions as it is for drunkards to give up their drink. But it +would be well for them to consider, that self-denial may be as necessary +to _their_ salvation, as it is to the salvation of infidels and +profligates. + +I would sacrifice a little poetry to truth. I would not be very +particular, but do let us have substantial truth. Do not let us encumber +and disfigure religion by absurdities, impossibilities, and antinomian +abominations. + +Some one has said, "The world is very jealous of those who assail its +religious ignorance. Its old mistakes are great idols. No man has ever +carried a people one march nearer the promised land without being in +danger of being stoned. No man has ever purified the life of an age, +without substantially laying down his own." + +I am anxious only for truth and righteousness. Truth and righteousness I +respect in all sects, from the Quakers to the Catholics; and I hate +nonsense, and lies, and sin, in professing Christians, as much as in +Turks and pagans. + +So end the extracts from my Diary. + +I have just been reading an article in the _Christian Advocate_, and I +can't resist the temptation to give a short extract or two. + +"Not only is there an emasculated theology, but there is not a little +emasculated preaching. + +"Nothing is emptier or feebler than cant--ringing the changes on what +may be called the stock phrases of one's sect. John Wesley once said, +'Let but a pert, self-sufficient animal, that has neither sense nor +grace, bawl out something about 'Christ,' or 'His blood,' or +'justification by faith,' and there are not wanting those who will cry +out, 'What a fine Gospel sermon!' For myself, I prefer a sermon on +either good tempers or good works to such 'Gospel sermons.' + +"Take away from certain preachers their 'heavenly tone,' as the old lady +called it--their sing-song cadences, and their favorite pulpit +phrases--and you take away the principal part of their stock in trade. +Out upon such 'words without knowledge'--sound without sense! + +"Quite as destitute of Gospel power is that preaching which consists +largely in the presentation of old worn-out theories, musty scholastic +philosophies about religion, usually paraded under the pretentious title +of 'doctrine.' + +"The devil, it is said, once inspired a dead priest to preach an +orthodox sermon. On being questioned by his imps why he ventured on such +a deliverance, he replied very significantly, that nothing made infidels +more effectually than orthodoxy preached by dead men's lips." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE REFORMING TENDENCY. + + +I had a third tendency which helped to get me into trouble; namely, a +reforming tendency. Earnest and active-minded young men are generally +reformers. In me the reforming tendency was unusually strong. I wanted +to reform everybody and everything, and to do it thoroughly, and without +delay. And I commenced operations very early. + +1. It was the custom of my class-leader to read over to his class once a +quarter the rules of society, and to request the members, if they were +aware of any breach of any of the rules by any of the members, to name +the matter as he proceeded. Now one of the rules forbade the putting on +of gold or costly apparel; yet several of the members of our class put +on both. So when he came to that rule, I asked why it was not enforced. +The leader seemed confused. One of the offenders was the wife of one of +the travelling preachers, and another was the wife of an influential +layman, and both were customers at his store, and he had never +entertained a thought, I imagine, of running the risk of offending them +by rebuking them for their offences; so he muttered something in the way +of excuse and then passed on. The truth was, that the rule, though +copied from the New Testament, and regarded by Mr. Wesley as of great +importance, was no longer considered binding either by the preachers or +the leading members. The reading of the rules in the class was merely a +form, and my remarks, instead of inducing my offending class-mates to +return to the old Methodist custom, only caused them and those who sided +with them, to look on me as a troubler of Israel. + +2. I got myself into a little trouble on a later occasion at a local +preachers' meeting. It was the custom at those meetings for the +superintendent preacher to read over the names of the local preachers, +and to request any brother who knew of any breach of rule by any of his +brethren, to name the matter. When the name of Mr. H. was read over, I +stated that he had been guilty of evil speaking against one of his +brethren. I gave the particulars, and the offence was acknowledged, but +the offending brother was not without excuse, and the business of the +meeting proceeded. But there was a very strong feeling in the minds of +many that such attempts as I was making to press neglected rules on the +attention of the meeting, ought not to be encouraged; and my endeavors +to enforce consistency brought down upon me many sharp rebukes. + +3. Among the books that I read in those early days was _Mason on +Self-knowledge_. I found some excellent remarks on temperance and +frugality in this work. I met with some similar remarks in translating +portions of the writings of Seneca and Cicero. In a conversation that I +had with one of the travelling preachers, and a person that was +supplying the place of another travelling preacher, I quoted the +beautiful sentiments which I had been reading and translating, and added +some remarks of my own, with a view to recommend attention to the +lessons they inculcated. The travelling preacher remained silent, but +his companion answered me with a scornful laugh, and said, there was no +need to urge such matters on them, for they had not the _means_ to be +anything else but frugal and temperate. This was neither true nor +courteous, and though I made no answer, it left an impression on my mind +by no means favorable to the wisdom and piety of those who, at that +time, were placed over me as my teachers and guides. + +4. Though I met with such poor encouragement in my early efforts to +reform or check abuses among my brethren, I still persisted in my +course, even after I became a travelling preacher. It was the custom of +the richer members of society to have large parties, to which they +invited each other and the preachers and their families. At many of +these parties there was a good deal of drinking, and a serious waste of +money on many things that were not only useless but injurious. And each +family tried to outdo the rest in the costliness of their parties. I +regarded this custom as anti-Christian, and tried to get it changed for +something better. I thought the money wasted on drink and hurtful +luxuries would be better spent in doing good. In some cases I referred +to the words of Christ about making feasts, recorded in Luke xiv. 12-14; +but no one seemed to think Christ's rule to be binding on professing +Christians now. Even my brother ministers thought me needlessly +particular, and helped to render my efforts for reform both +unsuccessful, and productive of disagreeable results. + +5. The custom of treating the rich who came to our chapels with more +respect than the poor, was as prevalent probably when I became a +minister, as it was in the days of James. I often saw the officials of +the church conducting gaily-dressed people to comfortable pews, while +they left such as were poorly clad to stand in the aisles, or to find +their way into seats themselves; and on some occasions I showed my +dissatisfaction with such proceedings. + +6. It was customary to have society meetings in each place once a +quarter, and at these meetings I used to refer to what I thought amiss +in the conduct of professors, and to urge attention to such lessons of +Christ and His Apostles as seemed to be generally overlooked or +forgotten. On some occasions too on week nights, instead of preaching a +regular sermon, I used to give a kind of lecture or exhortation, in +which I presented a summary of neglected duties, and read over the +passages of Scripture in which they were enjoined, making remarks on +them. There were many matters pertaining to marriage, to the education +and government of children, and to domestic duties generally; and there +were matters pertaining to trade, to social intercourse, to mental +improvement, and the like, on which preachers, as a rule, were entirely +silent in their sermons, from the beginning of the year to the end. Yet +many of these matters were of the utmost importance, and for want of +information on them many religious people were neither so happy +themselves, nor so useful to others, as they ought to be. On these +matters I spoke in as plain and faithful a way as possible. I cautioned +the young against wasting their time, advised them to spend their +leisure hours in reading and writing, told them what books to read, and +how to read them, showed them the most profitable plan of reading the +Bible, warned them against bad company, and advised them not to spend +too much time even in good company. I urged them, if they thought of +being preachers, to endeavor to be preachers of the highest order, +workmen that needed not to be ashamed, rightly distributing the word of +truth. And whether they thought of being preachers or not, I urged them +to improve their talents, and to become as wise, as able and as useful +as possible. Many were delighted, and reduced my lessons to practice. +Others however took offence, and repaid my endeavors to do them good +with uncharitable censures. + +7. It was the custom in the Body to which I belonged to keep the doors +of the annual conference closed against all but those who were sent as +delegates by the circuits. I and a few others thought this course led to +inconsiderate, and, in some cases, to unjust and oppressive measures, +and in 1835 I wrote a letter on the subject to the _Christian Advocate_. +My remarks were not agreeable to the leading members of conference, and +I was instantly called to account and severely censured, and threatened +with the heaviest punishment if ever I offended so grievously again. The +reason why my letter proved so offensive was probably its truthfulness, +for the change I recommended was afterwards adopted, though not till the +old objectionable system had produced most disastrous consequences. + +8. One rule of the Connexion to which I belonged forbade the preachers +to marry till after they had been engaged in the ministry from four to +five years or upwards. This regulation seemed to me to be the cause of +serious evils. Some of these evils I had myself experienced, and others +I had seen in the conduct and mishaps of many of my brethren. The reason +assigned for the law seemed to me to be not only insufficient, but to be +a disgrace to a body of Christians situated as _we_ were. I urged an +alteration or a repeal of the law, recommending conference to take out +the best and ablest men as ministers, whether they were married or not, +and to allow such ministers as were single to marry whenever they +thought fit, and to urge the churches to provide for the additional +expense of married preachers by a little additional liberality. There +were members that wasted as much on one foolish and mischievous party, +as would have made up the difference between a single man's salary and a +married man's salary. There were members that spent as much in +intoxicating drinks as would have kept a married preacher or two out and +out. There were tradesmen that could have supported five or six +preachers out of their yearly profits, if they had been as liberal as +the old selfish Jews were required to be. If they had been as liberal as +_Christians_ are required to be,--if they had loved their neighbors, or +Jesus, or God, as they loved themselves, they could have supported +twenty preachers, and still retained enough to keep their families in +comfort and plenty, and to carry on and extend their businesses too. To +shut good men out of the ministry because they were married, and take in +doubtful men because they were single, was, in my view, disgraceful and +inexcusable. But in this also I was considered wrong by the rulers of +the Connexion, and was once more censured and admonished for what was +considered my presumptuous interference. + +9. Fifty years ago, and for some years after, almost everybody used to +drink intoxicating drinks. Ale and beer, wine and spirits, were as +freely used as tea and coffee, and were taken in great quantities by +many even in the church and ministry. I remember once, while yet a local +preacher, going round with Mr. Etchells, a new minister in my native +town, on his first pastoral visits, to show him where the principal +members of the church lived. He was invited to drink at every house, and +never failed to comply with the invitations. I saw him drink sixteen +glasses of beer, wine and spirits, on that one round, occupying only two +or three hours. This same minister prosecuted Mr. Farrar, his +superintendent, for drunkenness, and got him suspended. Whether his +superintendent drank more than he or not, I do not know, but he did not +keep up appearances so well. He showed himself drunk in the pulpit,--so +drunk, on one or two occasions, that he was unable to speak plainly, or +even to stand steadily. He also fell down in the streets sometimes, and +had to be carried home. His colleague did not commit himself in such +ways, though he drank enough at times in one day to make half a dozen +sober people drunk. + +The leading member in the Methodist church, Richard Wilson, opened the +first wine and spirit store at Bramley, and corrupted the whole country +round with his wares, doing far more for the devil and sin than the +preachers could do for God and holiness. Yet no one seemed to think +there was anything dishonorable or diabolical in the business. + +At a social party to which I was invited at Leeds, consisting of +preachers and leading members of the church, one man, a preacher, got so +drunk, that he became a most distressing spectacle. I cannot describe +his mishaps. There were others who ought to have committed themselves in +the same sad way, for they drank as much, and even more, but they had +stronger constitutions, or were better seasoned. + +At Liverpool, my first station, every one on whom the preachers called +in their pastoral rounds, asked them to drink. Even Dr. Raffles, the +popular Congregational minister, had wine and cakes brought out, when I +and my superintendent called on him one morning. Wine and cakes, or +cakes and spirits, were placed on the table by all who were not too poor +to buy such things, and even the poorer members contrived to supply +themselves with rum or whisky. And all expected the preachers to drink. +And the preachers did drink. Mr. Allin, my superintendent, was not by +far the greatest drinker in the Connexion, yet he seldom allowed the +poison placed before him to remain untasted. I was so organized, that I +never could drink a full glass of either wine or ale without feeling +more or less intoxicated, and for spirits I had quite a distaste; so +that I was obliged to take intoxicating drinks very sparingly. Yet I +conformed, to some extent, to the prevailing custom; and it was not, I +fear, through any great goodness of my own, that I did not become a +drunkard. Several of my fellow-ministers became drunkards. Mr. Allin +himself, after he fell under the influence of that bad rich man at +Sheffield became a drunkard, and brought on shocks of paralysis by his +excesses. My superintendent at Sheffield drank himself into _delirium +tremens_, and I fear he never got over his bad habits. Mr. Chapman was a +notorious sot. I knew him personally, and was compelled, at times, to +witness his disgusting habits. Yet he was never expelled, though he was +superannuated some forty years or more before his death. His +superannuation reduced his income some seventy-five per cent., and made +it impossible for him to drink so freely as he had been wont, and so, +very probably, helped to prolong his miserable life. + +While stationed at Liverpool, I was called away to supply the place of +the superintendent preacher in the Chester circuit for a few weeks, who +had died very suddenly, under very peculiar circumstances. His name was +Dunkerley. I was told by persons likely to know the truth, that he was a +very drunken man. On one occasion, while he was over at Liverpool, he +fell down in the Theatre Square, and had to be taken up and carried into +a neighboring shop. At first it was supposed he had had a fit; but a +little further attention to the case revealed the secret that he was +drunk. On another occasion, on his return from Liverpool to Chester, he +was observed, when he got off the coach, to stagger backwards and fall +down. Some friends that were waiting for his arrival, ran and helped him +up, and took him to a member's house just by. He was found to be drunk +then also. The members spoke to him on the subject, and reproved him +sharply, and then put him to bed. The Tuesday night following, the +matter was mentioned at the leaders' meeting, when he was present. The +leaders told him that such conduct could not be tolerated, and that +unless a change took place for the better, the matter would have to be +laid before the Quarterly Meeting. The preacher acknowledged his fault, +and promised, if they would forgive him that once, that he would do so +no more. I believe that from that time he gave up the use of +intoxicating drinks for a week or two; but shortly after, having to go +to the Welsh side of the Circuit, he began to use them again. At one of +the places on that side of the Circuit, the leaders were accustomed to +have their meetings in a room in a public-house, near the Chapel, and to +lodge the preacher there. Perhaps poor Dunkerley thought it would hardly +look right for him to be accommodated at a public-house with a bed, and +yet take nothing to drink; so he got some gin. The relish for the gin +must have returned upon him with great power when he began to taste it, +for he drank very freely. He drank so much, that the publican himself +began to feel alarmed for him. A short time after he had gone up stairs +to bed, the people of the house heard a noise of an unusual character in +his room, and on going to see what was the matter, they found the +preacher on his knees, in an apoplectic fit, the blood gushing from his +nose and ears. He died the same evening. He died drunk. + +It was this man's place that I went to supply. I do not wonder now that +Dunkerley and several other preachers in the New Connexion were +drunkards, when I take into consideration the customs and habits of the +people of the Connexion in those days. I never met with anything in any +society, that I recollect, more at variance with the principles of +Christian temperance, and more likely to lead both preachers and people +into drunkenness and profligacy, than the habits and customs of many of +the members of the New Connexion in the Chester circuit. In the first +place they were all users of intoxicating drinks, and all those that +were in tolerable circumstances regularly kept spirits as well as +milder, weaker kinds of intoxicating drinks in their houses. In the next +place a preacher could never call at the houses of those people, +whatever the time of day, without being urged to drink of either the +stronger or weaker kinds of intoxicating drinks. And he could hardly +refuse to drink without seeming to slight the kindness of the people, +and running the risk of giving offence. In the third place they were +very much addicted to extravagant social parties, pleasure jaunts, &c. +They were worse than the people of Leeds in this respect; unless they +were worse than usual while I was there. All the time that I was in +Chester, there was not a single week or day when they had not either +some dinner-party or tea-party, or both, or else some pleasure jaunt on +the water or on land. And those pleasure parties and feasts were always +occasions of extravagant eating and drinking. Besides abundance of flesh +and game, and other luxuries, there was always an overwhelming supply of +intoxicating drinks, and great quantities were consumed. I have seen men +on those occasions drink five, six, eight, or even ten glasses of wine +or spirits, besides drinking ale, or porter, or wine at meals. I +recollect very distinctly seeing a person, and that a preacher, drink, +in addition to what he consumed over his meal, ten glasses of Port wine +between dinner and tea, after which he went to preach. + +Religious society was not quite so corrupt in the principal towns of the +Hanley circuit, where I was next stationed, as at Liverpool and Chester, +yet there was a fearful amount of respectable intemperance there. There +was no end to the feasting. And as I, though so young, was very popular, +I was always expected to be present. The luxuries in which I indulged +brought on indigestion. Indigestion, and close study, and hard work in +the pulpit, brought on a most wearisome languor and depression. To help +me, one rich friend sent me a bottle of Sherry wine. Another sent me +Elderberry wine. These made me worse. It was well this mistaken kindness +did not ruin me. But I was preserved, thank God, both from death and +drunkenness. + +For two years more I was in the midst of these awful temptations to +intemperance, and a witness to their deadly effects on several of my +brethren. I felt that I was in danger. And I saw that the church was +suffering. I looked round for a remedy. + +Just then there came rumors of a temperance society, and of attempts at +a temperance reformation. One of our young preachers had joined this +new society, and had labelled his whisky and brandy _medicine_. He left +his beer, and porter, and wine, unlabelled, and drank them as freely as +before. The people who told me of this, ridiculed the man, and ridiculed +the movement for temperance reform. I was rather pleased with the news, +though news of a more thorough movement might have pleased me better. +But the beginnings of things are small. The movement soon became radical +enough, and I kept pace with it. + +In 1832 I gave up the use of ardent spirits, and became a member of the +old-fashioned temperance society. In 1833 I gave up the use of +intoxicating drinks of all kinds, and joined the teetotal society. In +1834 I gave up the use of tobacco. A few months later I gave up tea and +coffee, and took water as my usual drink. + +These changes in my way of life gave great offence to many in the church +to which I belonged, and led them to speak of me, and act towards me, in +a way that was anything but kind and agreeable. This was especially the +case with regard to my disuse of intoxicating drinks, and my advocacy of +teetotalism. I might have been borne with perhaps if I had become a +drunkard; for drunkards were in some cases tolerated; but a teetotaler +was not to be endured. Some called me a fool, and some a madman, and one +man pronounced me no better than a suicide and a murderer. "You will be +dead," said he, "in twelve months, if you persist in your miserable +course, and what will become of your wife and children? And what account +can you give of the people you are leading to untimely death by your +example?" One person at Chester, at whose house I had visited some years +before, when supplying the place of the deceased minister, would neither +invite me to his house, nor speak to me in the street, except in the way +of insult, now that I had become a teetotaler. He said no one should +ever sit at his table who would not take a glass of wine. And I never +did sit at his table after. He invited my colleagues, and he invited the +old superannuated minister, whose character I cannot describe, but he +never invited me. + +One object that I had in view in adopting my abstemious way of life was +to save a little money to buy books. I had become an author too, and +had thoughts of publishing a number of works, and I wanted to be able to +do so without having to go into debt. Then I wanted to do good in other +ways. I liked to be able to give a little to the distressed and needy +that I was called upon to visit. And I liked to subscribe occasionally +to funds for the erection of new schools and chapels in circuits where I +was stationed. Among my reasons for becoming a teetotaler was a desire +to induce others to do so, who seemed to me to be likely, if they +continued to use intoxicating drinks, to become drunkards. Then I had +seen the terrible effects of the drinking system, both in the Church and +among my relations. And I was anxious for the success of every kind of +measure that seemed likely to promote the reformation and salvation of +mankind. + +10. I had not been a teetotaler long before I became anxious to see my +brethren in the ministry teetotalers. I wrote a letter to the +_Temperance Advocate_, giving an account of the experiment I had made, +and stating the happy results by which it had been followed, and urging +others, by all the considerations that had influenced my own mind, to +adopt and advocate the teetotal principle. Mr. Livesey sent a copy of +the _Advocate_ containing my letter to all the ministers of the Body to +which I belonged. There were but few of them however who seemed to be +able to enter into my views and feelings, or to understand and +appreciate the motives by which I was actuated. The generality looked on +the course I had taken as a proof of a restless and ill-regulated mind, +and instead of following my example, treated me and my teetotalism with +ridicule. Some were angry, and scolded me in right good earnest. They +supposed that it was _I_ that had sent them the Paper containing my +letter, and seemed to think themselves called upon to resent my +interference with their tastes and habits in a very decided manner. +Several of them sent me very offensive letters, and one of them +concluded a long outpouring of abuse and insolence with some very +cutting but just remarks on my inconsistency in pressing abstinence from +intoxicating drinks so earnestly on others, while I myself was guilty of +the unreasonable and offensive practice of smoking tobacco. + +I had long had misgivings as to the propriety of smoking, and when I +read this cutting rebuke, I resolved to smoke no more. I said to my +wife, "They shall not be able to charge me with inconsistency again on +that score," and I there and then broke my pipe on the grate, and +emptied my tobacco cup into the fire, and I have never annoyed others, +or defiled myself, with the abomination of tobacco smoke or tobacco +spittle from that day to this. My angry correspondent had done me an +important service. + +11. I met with some of the bitterest and most persistent enemies of +teetotalism in the circuit in which I was then travelling. There were +several members of society, class-leaders, and local preachers, in and +around Chester, who were slaves to intoxicating drinks. Some of them +were habitual drunkards, and others of them were not much better; and +they treated all who would not countenance their excesses as personal +enemies. Many of them were accustomed to go to public houses, and sit +there drinking and smoking for hours together, like ordinary drunkards. +This horrible habit they gave up shortly after my appointment to the +circuit, but several of them raged against me with tremendous fury, and +would have done anything to destroy my influence. At first they were +kept in check to some extent by the wisdom and goodness of my +superintendent, who, though he did not become a teetotaler himself, +showed great respect for those who did. When he left Chester, a man of a +very different character came in his place, who sided with the drinkers, +and took a savage delight in annoying the teetotalers, and exulted as if +he had achieved some wonder of benevolence and piety when he had induced +some poor reformed drunkard to break his pledge, though he plunged again +into the horrors of intemperance. I called one forenoon on Mr. Downs. He +was frantic, and his wife was wild with anxiety and terror. She seemed +as if she had been awake and weeping all the night. I soon saw the cause +of the dreadful spectacle. Downs had been a drunkard, but had, under my +influence, become a teetotaler, and joined the church. His wife had been +a member of the church for some years. She was overjoyed with the +reformation and conversion of her husband, and was promising for herself +and her husband, for the future, a very happy life. My superintendent +had got poor Downs into his company, and by reasoning, ridicule, and +coaxing, had induced him to take a glass of ale. His horrible appetite +for intoxicating drink returned with irresistible force, and he drank +himself drunk. He went home in a very deplorable condition. His wife, +distressed beyond measure, got him to bed, and he fell asleep, and she, +poor woman, sat watching him, and weeping, hoping he might wake to +lament his error and become again a sober man. He awoke in a fury, and +attempted to destroy himself. He was mad with shame and horror, and +declared he could not and would not live. When I entered, his wife had +been watching him and struggling with him for several hours, to keep him +from suicide. I just got in in time to save the man, and relieve his +exhausted wife, and I was enabled to reconcile the man to live a little +longer, and try teetotalism again. My misguided superintendent never +attempted to reason with me, but when he thought he had a chance of +punishing me for my teetotalism, he snatched at the apparent opportunity +with the greatest eagerness. + +One week night, when appointed to preach in Chester Chapel, I gave the +people a sermon on temperance. Some days after, I was summoned to a +meeting of officials, to give an account of my doings. I attended. My +superintendent, the bitter enemy of teetotalism, was in the chair, and +on each side of him sat a number of men of similar feelings, and of +grosser habits. I was told there was a complaint against me, to the +effect that the last time I was at Chester I had preached teetotalism +instead of the Gospel. I said, "Is that all?" And they answered "Yes." +"Then you ought to be ashamed of yourselves," I said, and left the +meeting. What they did after my departure I was never told. + +One man in that neighborhood circulated a report that I had asked my +mother-in-law, who had been staying some time at our house, to have a +glass of brandy and water, when she was leaving for home in the coach. +This slander was refuted by a deputation, who at once visited my +mother-in-law, and brought back from her a flat contradiction of the +statement. + +I ought to say, that while I was in this circuit, hundreds of drunkards +were reformed, many of whom became happy, exemplary, and useful members +of the Church. I was the means of tens of thousands becoming teetotalers +in the country round about, and the happy effects of my labors in those +regions remain, to some extent, to the present day. + +12. In 1837, while I was stationed in the Mossley Circuit, I began a +weekly periodical called the _Evangelical Reformer_. I had long wished +for a suitable means of laying my views before my friends, but had found +none. The editor of the magazine published by the Body to which I +belonged was a very disagreeable man, and to me he was more +unaccommodating and offensive than to others. He would have published +articles under my name, but not till he had altered them, and made them +conformable to his own ideas and tastes. And this was more than I could +endure. There was another periodical which I could use, and had used +occasionally, but it lent itself to ill-disposed people as a vehicle of +slander, and I had ceased to feel myself at liberty to give it my +countenance. With a small periodical of my own I could communicate with +my friends at pleasure, and I used my _Evangelical Reformer_ for this +purpose with great freedom. I published my views on temperance, on +marriage, on trade, on education, on dress, on diet, on religious +parties, on books and reading, on the use of money, on the duty of the +Church to support its poor members, on toleration and human creeds, and +on a multitude of other subjects, and urged on the churches a reform on +all these points. My freedom of expression soon brought me into fresh +trouble. An article which I published on "Toleration and Human Creeds," +was considered by some of my brethren to be highly objectionable and +dangerous, and was brought before Conference. Conference was pressed by +many to condemn the article, and to show its disapprobation of it by +punishing the author. Others entreated that Conference should spare the +author, lest mischief should follow, and content itself with privately +expressing disapprobation of the article. The latter parties prevailed; +but their moderation was made of no effect by the editor of the magazine +who wickedly published the obnoxious resolution to the world, and so +rendered it necessary for me to write again on the subject, to defend +myself and my article. The result was a controversy between me and some +of my brethren, which led at length to the most serious consequences. + +Another article was objected to by many of my brother ministers. A +draper, a leading member of the society at Ashton, published a circular, +announcing the winter fashions, and sent copies to members of my +congregation, pressing them to go and purchase his wares, many of which +were both costly and useless. I copied this circular into my periodical, +and advised my readers to disregard its counsels, and to spend their +money like Christians. I added some remarks on the inconsistency of +professing Christians urging people, even in the way of trade, to waste +their Master's money on things forbidden by His word. This article +created a great amount of excitement, and some would fain have had it +censured by Conference, along with the other article; but they were not +allowed to have their way. + +Both my periodical and my other publications were favorably received, +and had a large circulation, and my opponents thought they gave me too +much power, and made me dangerous; and this became the occasion of +further unpleasantness. On the other hand the magazine had but a poor +circulation, and the Book-room, though it had a large amount of capital, +did but a very limited business; and I suggested reforms with a view to +render them more useful. I urged an improvement of the magazine, and the +publication of cheap books, with a view to supply useful reading to the +members of the churches, and to people generally. All these propositions +proved unpalatable to the easy-going officials, and brought on me fresh +trials. + +13. Again; the standard of morality was low in many of our societies, +and I pleaded for the enforcement of Christian discipline. Some of our +members were brewers, some publicans, some spirit-merchants, some +beer-shop keepers. Old Mr. Thwaites was a publican. His son, who was +both class-leader and local preacher, was both a drink-seller and a +pawnbroker. And I am not certain that pawnbroking in England is not as +bad a business as drink-selling. The two are nearly related and are fast +friends. Drunkenness leads to pawnbroking, and pawnbroking helps +drunkenness. Timothy Bentley, one of the greatest brewers in England, +the poisoner-general both of the souls and bodies of the immense +population of my native county, was a Methodist class-leader at +Huddersfield. I once met in his class. He was a most venerable and +saintly-looking man, and stood in high repute. I regarded these +businesses as anti-christian, and contended that those who persisted in +them after due admonition, should be expelled. + +The businesses named above were not the worst. Some members of society +were wholesale panders. Take the following facts. When I was sent to +Liverpool I had a young man, whose name I need not give, for a +bed-fellow. He was a draper, and his customers were unfortunate women. +He sold to them on trust, and went round weekly to collect his money. +His father, who was a leading man in the society, and his brothers, were +in the same way of business. Another man who was a leading member and an +official, followed the same dishonorable occupation. It was usual with +those people, when their wretched customers were turned out of their +houses by their landlords, to provide them with fresh houses, and even +to supply them with furniture. When fairs or races were at hand, they +supplied them with extra dresses and ornaments, to enable them to ply +their horrible trade to better advantage. These facts I had in part from +my bed-fellow, and in part from the people in whose house he kept his +shop, and with whom I lived. When I came to know these things I was very +uneasy; and on finding that it was unsafe to sleep with my bed-fellow, I +got fresh lodgings. This vexed my bed-fellow and all his family, and +made them my enemies. I spoke of these things to my superintendent, but +he advised me to be cautious what I did and said in reference to such +matters. And he told me a story that he had met with in a work on the +ministry by an American, which he had just been reading. This author +said, that out of fifty ministers whom he had known expelled from their +holy office, only one or two had been expelled for immoral conduct or +gross inconsistency: all the rest had been discarded on account of +imprudences. This was meant to deter me from interfering either by word +or deed with faulty members of society. And he backed his ungodly +counsel by as bad an example. For he not only left those wicked people +to pursue their evil courses undisturbed, but visited at their houses, +allowed his family to receive presents from them, and, when he was +leaving the circuit, did himself accept from their unclean hands a +portion of their filthy gains, in the shape of a testimonial of their +respect for his great abilities and distinguished virtues. This person, +whose general conduct was much in keeping with the facts I have given +above, though he was the foremost minister in the Connexion, proved my +most persistent adversary in after life, and never rested till he had +brought about my expulsion from the ministry. + +14. I will mention another affair to show what notions certain members +of the church had of what was required of Christians in reference to +business matters. I bought some handkerchiefs of a man, a member of +society, in Chester, on his assurance that they would wash. When we +washed them they came to pieces. I asked the man afterwards if he was +aware when he sold the handkerchiefs that they were rotten. He said he +was. "Then why did you sell me them?" I asked. He said he had bought +them for good ones himself, and that he could not afford to lose what he +had given for them. I wanted such people to be dealt with according to +the rules of Christian discipline. + +15. There were many other sad facts, far more than I have either time or +disposition to mention, which forced themselves on my notice, and +obliged me, in conscience, to plead and labor for reform. There seemed a +dreadful distance between the character of Christ and the character of +the Church; and I wished to make it less. How far I erred in my efforts +to bring about this desirable result, and how far I acted wisely, it is +not for me to say. I know that my object was good, and that the course I +took was the one that seemed best to me at the time; but it is probable +that some would have gone about the work in a wiser way. I never +excelled in certain forms of prudence. I was prone to speak forth my +thoughts and feelings without much consideration and with but little +reserve; and I often used the plainest and even the strongest words. I +was too open. My heart was too near my mouth. I thought aloud. And I was +not sufficiently tender of people's feelings. Nor did I make sufficient +allowance for their prejudices and imperfections. I probably expected +too much from men. And some of the reforms which I proposed might at +the time be impracticable. I was accustomed to muse very much on the +teachings of Christ and His Apostles, and to image to myself a state of +things in the Church which, though very desirable, was probably +unattainable, except through many slow preliminary changes. I wished for +a church "without spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing,"--a church that +should set forth and carry out the highest principles of Christian +purity and charity--and that was a blessing to be looked for not in the +present, but in the future only. + +16. Then I had but little knowledge of human nature, either in its +regenerate or unregenerate state. I over-rated men's virtues, and +under-rated their defects. I trusted them too much and feared them too +little. I took all who put on a fair appearance, for friends, and +imparted to them the innermost thoughts of my soul. And many proved +unworthy of my confidence. And I often over-rated men's talents or +capabilities. I was not aware of the infinite difference in men's +powers. I thought all my brethren in the ministry, and almost all my +brother Christians, were capable, under proper culture, of being made as +wise, as able, as eloquent, as the most distinguished in the Church. I +was not aware that some men were naturally palm-trees, and others only +brambles; that some were pearls, and others only pebbles; and that these +constitutional differences were unalterable. Hence I expected too much +of some, and was too impatient perhaps when disappointed. I erred with +regard both to men and institutions, and my colleagues were often +offended with what they deemed my unreasonable expectations and demands. + +17. But in truth, it is not necessary for reformers to err, in order to +give offence. The best and wisest One that ever appeared on earth gave +offence to those who were wedded to error and abuses. A Christian +reformer can never please the "earthly, the sensual, and the devilish." +The history of Christ and of Paul has settled that. A Christian reformer +never does the right thing in the estimation of the idle, the selfish, +the corrupt: and if he does, he never does it at the right time, or in +the right way. He always meddles too early, or too late; and he always +goes too fast, or too slow; and he always does too much, or too little. +He interferes with their ease, their interests, and their pleasures, +and that is enough. They will, in return, endeavor to destroy his +influence, if not to take away his life. They will impute to him the +vilest motives. They will stick at no lie, no wrong, that seems likely +to damage his reputation. They will magnify his innocent weaknesses or +trifling inconsistencies, and represent them as gross and unpardonable +faults. If he is faithful they will call him rash; if he is prudent they +will call him hypocritical; and they will labor in every way to awaken +against him distrust and prejudice in the minds of the better-disposed +among their brethren. + +And many of the better-disposed themselves often see what tries them +greatly in the character and doings of reformers. It is the natural +tendency of the reforming spirit to lead a man to look too much at what +is amiss in men and systems, and too little at what is right and +praiseworthy. It is what is amiss that _wants_ reforming, so he fixes +his mind on that, and makes it the constant subject of his conversation. +And so it was with myself no doubt to some extent. And this, to men of +conservative tendencies, who look more at the good and less at the evil +in the men and systems with which they are connected, seems a grievous +fault, an inexcusable piece of injustice, deserving the severest +censure. And they repay it with the sternest condemnation. + +And conservatives can be as blind or one-sided as the most eager +reformers. They can shut their eyes to what is evil, or treat great +abuses as excusable trifles; while they magnify what is good beyond all +bounds. And when they get excited or vexed they can be as unjust towards +the reformer, as the most rabid reformer can be towards them or their +pet institutions. And there are few things fiercer than the fire of +bigotry, even in minds not destitute of piety. The truth is, when men +wax hot, either in favor of reform or against it, justice is forgotten, +and kindness and courtesy are out of the question. + +And so it was in the controversies which arose out of my efforts at +reform. I was assailed both by the malignity of the corrupt, and by the +bigotry of the misguided. I was hated by the bad, and dreaded by some of +the good, and abused and persecuted by both. And some of my enemies had +neither mercy nor moderation. They pressed matters to the most terrible +extremes. + +And I was not sufficiently on my guard. Instead of possessing my soul in +patience, and casting my care on God, I allowed their persecutions to +increase the bitterness of my unhappy feelings, and render my ultimate +separation from them inevitable. + +18. There were several other matters which had something to do in +causing unpleasant feelings between me and a number of my brethren. + +It fell to my lot to be unusually popular. I became so at a very early +period. I was, in consequence, often invited by other circuits to preach +their special sermons, and I frequently accepted those invitations. Some +of my superintendents were annoyed at this, and showed their displeasure +in very offensive ways. While I was in Hanley circuit my superintendent +called a meeting of a number of leading friends, before which I was +summoned to appear. There my acceptance of invitations to preach +occasional sermons was charged against me as an offence, and I was +ordered not to _go_ into other circuits any more, without the consent of +my superintendent. I offered no objection to this. My superintendent +next charged me with having a number of objectionable books in my +library. He had requested the woman at whose house I lodged to show him +into my room during my absence, and there he had found the works of +Shakespeare, Barrow, Tillotson, and Paley, and some volumes of poems by +Lord Byron. The meeting advised me to get rid of Shakespeare and Byron, +and to be careful how I used the works of Barrow, Tillotson, and Paley, +as they were not Methodistical, and my great concern, it was said, +should be to excel as a teacher and defender of Methodism. With this +recommendation I could not entirely comply. I retained my Shakespeare; I +have him yet. And I read the works of Tillotson, Barrow, and Paley as +freely as I had done before. But I lost all confidence in my +superintendent, and a portion of the respect I had felt for those who +took his part. Towards the close of the year my superintendent and his +friends endeavored to prevent me from receiving a perfect certificate, +on the pretence that I had expressed a doubt whether my health would +prove equal to the work of the ministry. Their objections proved of no +avail; but the spirit which my superintendent showed, increased the +unhappy feeling which his previous unkindness had awakened in my breast. + +19. The wife of one of our ministers published a book, and the husband +sent it to me for review. It contained, mixed up with a great variety of +useful remarks, a number of anti-scriptural and antinomian passages. +While I did justice to the rest of the book, I exposed its errors with +great fidelity, and gave the husband great offence. + +20. About the same time a gentleman at whose house I was billeted at +Bury, when lecturing there on temperance, made me a present of a volume +of Channing's discourses. I read this volume with the greatest delight, +and spoke of it highly in my periodical. Now Channing was a Unitarian, +and in one of the discourses contained in the volume which I had +commended, there were several Unitarian expressions. The husband of the +lady whose book I had reviewed brought the matter before Conference. He +also quoted from my periodical a number of passages which he contended +were not Methodistical. He was very violent in his remarks, and +concluded his address by demanding my expulsion. He had conferred with a +number of other preachers before Conference came on, and formed a +considerable party, and the clamor for my condemnation was both loud and +somewhat general. A gentleman, however, of great influence in +Conference,--the same who had pleaded for moderation at the Conference +previous,--rose and proposed a gentler course. The result was a +committee, explanations and a settlement. After the Conference, the +terms of the settlement were misrepresented by my opponents, and I felt +called upon to put them in their proper light. This revived the +controversy, and made matters worse than they had been before. + +21. I have referred to the rule which required young preachers to remain +single for four or five years. When a person was received into the +ministry, he was required to give a pledge that he would keep this rule. +I declined to give this pledge, I said I had no _intention_ to marry +before the appointed time, and that if I _did_ so, I should be in the +hands of the Conference, and they could do with me what they thought +best. This was considered sufficient, and I was accepted. As it happened +I _did_ marry before the appointed time. I had had such unsuitable +lodgings found me where I had been stationed, and I had suffered so much +in consequence, that I felt justified in taking a wife and providing +accommodations for myself, I took for my wife a woman of exemplary +character, of amiable disposition, and engaging manners, and I put the +circuits in which I was stationed to no additional expense or trouble. I +took my own house, and provided my own furniture. And I neither begged +nor borrowed a penny, nor did I run one penny into debt. And I worked as +hard after marriage as before, and probably harder, and to better +purpose. The Conference however punished me by putting me a year back, +and transporting me to the most distant part of a very distant circuit. +Thither I had to remove my wife and furniture at great expense. And the +allowance for board there was the lowest that the laws allowed a society +to give. My whole yearly income was only forty pounds, or two hundred +dollars. I was required too to be often and long from home in distant +parts of the circuit. I went however to my appointment and set to work, +disposed, though sorrowful, to do my duty. I got a part of an old +uninhabited house, and my wife made it comfortable. We lived +economically, and kept out of debt, without the aid of either gifts or +loans, and I never had a happier year, and my labors were never better +received or more successful; and Blyth, the place of my banishment, will +be dear to me as long as I live. + +22. Yet I had many trials while stationed there. My superintendent was +unkind, and tried from time to time to do me harm. But though he caused +me much trouble at times, a higher power overruled things for my good. +One of the societies over which he had great influence was really cruel. +It refused to postpone a service to allow me to go and see my child when +it was very ill, and thought to be in great danger. The circuit was +nearly thirty miles in length, and I had to spend nearly half my time +from fifteen to twenty-three miles away from home. Once when starting +for the most distant of my appointments, I had left my little child +very unwell, and apparently in danger of death. It was too bad that I +should have had to leave my little family under such circumstances; but +the feeling in many parts of the circuit was so unfriendly towards me, +in consequence of the unfavorable representations of my views and habits +of thought circulated by my superintendent and his friends, that I could +not have missed an appointment with safety. I had been away five days, +when I heard that my child was worse, and likely to die. I had still one +appointment to fulfil, but I resolved, if possible, to get it postponed, +and hasten home. I went to the place and requested the leaders to allow +me to put off the appointment to the following week. They refused my +request. I told them I had received word that my child was likely to +die, and that I was anxious to be with its afflicted mother; but they +would not give way. I was sadly tried, and I said, "I shall go home +notwithstanding. If I find my child alive and likely to recover, I will +return and preach; if I do not find it better, I shall not return. I +shall stay at home and take the consequences!" I had already walked +thirteen miles. It was ten or eleven more to Blyth. I walked the whole +distance. There was no conveyance. My superintendent was allowed horse +hire; but I was not: and I could not afford to pay for a horse myself +out of sixteen dollars or three pound five a month. I reached home, and +found my child a little better. After a little rest, I started back on +foot to my appointment. My wife looked out of the window after me, +weeping, afraid to ask me to remain with her. She knew the temper of my +superintendent, and the feeling of the people, so she wept in silence. I +walked over ten miles more, and then preached. I walked altogether +thirty-three miles that day. I was very much tired; but I had seen my +wife and child, so I went through my work without complaining, and was +up very early next morning, and walked ten miles more to breakfast with +my darling wife, and to comfort her sorrowful heart. My child got well, +and all things turned out happily in the end. Still, the unkindness of +the Conference in punishing me so undeservedly, and the cruelty of my +superintendent and the Westmoor leaders, made me feel very keenly, and I +could never think of those matters without something like indignation +and horror. And all these annoyances lessened my respect for many of my +brethren, and helped to prepare the way for future troubles. + +My troubles did not all come from the preachers. There were several +laymen in and about Newcastle-on-Tyne, who seemed to think it a duty to +annoy their young minister. The worst, though in some respects the best, +of that class was Thomas Snowdon, an old local preacher, leader, and +trustee. The first interview that I had with this man he took occasion +to insult me respecting my marriage, and also gave me to understand that +he should expect me to be in perfect subjection to his will, if I wished +to enjoy much peace or comfort in the circuit. It fell to my lot to be +lodged and boarded for part of my time at his house, and to show his way +of proceeding I may give the following. + +It was his custom to read a portion of the Scriptures to his family +every morning, and as he passed along he would make comments on what he +read. When I was there, he would frequently stop in his readings and +comments, to ask my opinion, and he seemed to expect that I must always +concur in what he said. At times however I was obliged to dissent from +his sayings, and then would follow a little controversy. Those +controversies were never very profitable, in consequence of his constant +desire to force his own opinions on me, and to extort from me assent to +his whimsical and foolish observations. Yet he still continued to force +those controversies. + +He also took upon himself the office of perpetual censurer of my +discourses. And his censures were generally proportioned to the goodness +of the sermon. If I happened to be particularly at liberty in my +discourse, and preach better than usual, he would blame almost +everything. If I preached indifferently, he would censure less; and if I +preached poorly, if I was embarrassed in my discourse, and seemed +troubled or sad on that account, he would scarcely censure at all. Then +the things which he censured would be sure to be the best and truest +parts of my sermon. He appeared to think that he was out of his duty, +unless he was endeavoring to torture the mind of the young preacher, and +to force him, if possible, into subjection to his will. + +On one occasion he and I had nearly quarrelled. He had tried me till I +could keep silence no longer, so I told him plainly what I thought about +his manner of proceeding. I spoke so plainly, that both he and his wife +were seriously put about. Soon after that, on my visiting the Newcastle +side of the circuit, I found that the people at whose house I was then +accustomed to sleep, had gone off, and closed the house, so that I was +obliged to look out for other lodgings. I went directly to Mr. +Snowdon's. He was the principal man in the circuit, and it was his place +to see that I was properly provided for. His wife seemed astonished when +I entered the house: but I told her how the matter stood; and I added, +that I did not feel disposed to go, at that time of the night, (for it +was getting rather late) to any other lodging; so that I hoped she would +give me a bed. I also said, that unless I could be accommodated with a +bed there, I would at once return to Blyth. She said, 'I should always +be glad to see you, and to give you either bed or anything else, if you +would not disagree and dispute so with our master.' I replied, 'It is +your master that will disagree and dispute with me. I should be quiet +enough, if he would let me alone. I never force my opinions on him; it +is only when he attempts to force his opinions on me that I ever speak. +You must yourself have seen that he will neither allow me to be silent, +nor allow me quietly to speak my mind; that he _will_ oblige me to +speak, and yet always finds fault if I say anything at variance with +what _he_ says.' She acknowledged that her husband was rather queer in +that respect, but still thought that I might manage a great deal better +with him if I would. I told her I had done my best, and that it was all +to no purpose. 'He will ask my opinion,' said I, 'on every subject that +comes into his head, and then begin to complain whenever my opinion +happens to differ from his.' I also added, that I thought he sometimes +disputed with me merely for the sake of disputing, and contradicted me, +not because he thought I was wrong, but because he thought that it would +be too much of a compliment to acknowledge that he agreed with me on any +subject. She thought I was too severe upon him. I said, 'Well, just wait +and see to-night, and if it is not as I have said, you shall blame me +as much as you like, and I will acknowledge myself in error.' + +Almost immediately Mr. Snowdon came in. 'What are _you_ doing here +to-night?' said he. 'I have come to sleep here,' I replied, 'and more +than that, I _must_ sleep here, or else return to Blyth. Mr. G----'s +house is closed, and it is too late to seek a bed elsewhere.' He made no +objections, and things proceeded as usual. He soon took his Bible, +called the family around him, and began to read. The lesson was in +Isaiah. He had not read far before he began to explain a passage. +'This,' said he, 'refers to our blessed Lord Jesus Christ. It points out +the glory of His character and of His person as the supreme God and Lord +of all; exhibits Him as the _Maker_ as well as the _Saviour_ of the +world. Do you not think so, Mr. Barker?' said he. I remained silent. 'Is +not that your view of the subject, Mr. Barker?' he added. 'I have no +objections to offer,' I said. This did not seem exactly to satisfy him; +but he went on, and read again. 'And so it is,' said he; 'we are all by +nature as an unclean thing; there is no health in us. How deeply we are +fallen, Mr. Barker! Do you not think so, Mr. Barker?' I made no reply. +He wished to know why I was silent. I said I did not like to be always +talking on those matters,--that I would rather he would read on, and +allow us to think about the chapter at our leisure afterwards. All this +time his wife was dreadfully fidgetty. She wanted to speak to him, but +could not. She wished to catch his attention by her looks, but to no +purpose. The proof of the truth of what I had said was becoming too +strong for her, and she could scarcely sit still on her chair. He +proceeded: 'This,' said he, 'refers to the glory of the Church of Christ +in the latter days, when the Gentiles shall be converted, and the Jews +brought back to their own land. This will be a glorious time, Mr. +Barker. What are your views on this subject, Mr. Barker?' Then he added +some further remarks, concluding with the question, 'Do you not think +so, Mr. Barker?' I now began to laugh: I could hold no longer. 'And do +you laugh at God's holy word?' said he: and a terrible lecture he would +have read me, had not his wife broke out and said, 'Hinney, you are to +blame, you are to blame. You won't let Mr. Barker alone: he would be +silent if you would allow him: you are too bad.' He repeated his +terrible rebuke of my levity, and I began to explain. I told him what +had passed between his wife and me before he came in. I told him all +that I thought about his way of proceeding towards me in those matters, +and he, poor fellow, was completely confounded. I told him that it +seemed to me as if he really took pleasure in tormenting people; as if +he could not be happy unless he thought that he was making other people +miserable,--that he seemed to begrudge those that were around him the +least ease, or quietness, or pleasure, and to wish to keep them on a +perpetual rack. It was his time now to explain and apologize, and what +do you think was the reason he assigned for his proceedings? 'Hinney,' +said he, 'Mr. Barker is a young minister, and I wish to inure him to +hardness as a good soldier of our Lord Jesus Christ.' I told him there +were painful things enough in the world to inure men to hardness without +his making more, &c. After this he never annoyed me much in that way +again. He did not allow me to rest altogether; that would have been too +much; but he was a vast deal better; and if he ever after this began to +be queer, I always felt greater confidence in refusing to talk to him, +and in letting him know that I expected to be allowed to have a little +of my own way. + +I never could persuade myself but that this man was, after all, a good +man. I believe he really feared God and loved his fellow-men. I think he +was conscientious and benevolent. Among other proofs of his benevolence +I may mention, that he took an orphan family under his care, and reared +them. He made them _work_, it is true; he made _every_ one work that was +under _him_; but he fed them, and clothed them, and taught them in his +way. He acted, in short, like a father to them. + +Again, when my mother came over to see me at Newcastle, he invited her +to his house. He showed her every possible attention. He was as kind as +it was possible for a man to be. And when she had to leave for Leeds, he +was up by four or five o'clock in the morning, to provide her a +comfortable breakfast, and take her to the coach. But I observed that he +was always kinder to old people than to young people. I suppose he +thought that old people had had trouble enough, and that he had +therefore no need to give them more; but that young people were in +danger of being too happy, of having too little trouble, and that it was +necessary therefore that he should be their tormentor. But even to the +young he could be kind on occasions, very kind; and if the young showed +a disposition to meet his views, to receive his sayings as oracles, and +always to consult his will, he would even caress and commend them. But +he could receive no measured or limited subjection. They must neither +think, nor speak, nor smile, nor stir but in accordance with his will if +they wished to enjoy his favor. The least imaginable opposition to his +judgment or his pleasure, would draw forth his rebukes. + +There were laymen in almost all places who took upon themselves to tell +you what you should believe and teach, and to condemn you as a heretic +if you did not attend to their suggestions. + +24. In 1837, shortly after I was stationed in Mossley, I had a public +discussion with a clergyman on the propriety or lawfulness of teaching +the children of the poor to write in our Sunday-schools. The New +Connexion people in the Mossley circuit taught writing in their +Sunday-schools, and they had, in consequence, a very large attendance of +scholars, and very prosperous churches. Their scholars outnumbered those +of all the other schools put together. This seemed to annoy the +ministers of the other denominations, and it was no uncommon thing for +those ministers, when they came to preach the yearly sermons in behalf +of the funds of their Schools, to say strong things against the practice +of the New Connexion. Dr. Nunn, of the Established Church, contended +that it was Sabbath-breaking, and challenged the New Connexion officials +to a public discussion on the subject. They accepted the challenge, and +appointed me their champion. I contended, that in the circumstances in +which the children of the poor were placed at that time, it was an act +of mercy and Christian beneficence to teach them to write on Sundays. +The clergyman gave up the contest before the time allowed for the debate +came to a close, and I was proclaimed victor. I published my views on +the subject in a pamphlet, entitled MERCY TRIUMPHANT, which +had an extensive circulation, and produced a powerful effect on the +views of large numbers of people. Some of my brethren denounced the +pamphlet as heretical, and the editor of the _Magazine_ took occasion to +inform his readers, in an offensive way, that my views were not the +views of the body to which I belonged. + +25. In the Sheffield circuit I had several unpleasant collisions with +one of my colleagues, and a couple of superannuated ministers, about a +rich but very unworthy member there. This man was anxious to control the +action of the whole circuit, and even of the whole Connexion, and one of +my colleagues, and the two superannuated ministers, one of which was Mr. +Allin, my old and persistent opponent, took his part. I had myself no +faith in the man. I knew him to be both an ignorant and unworthy person. +He was, in fact, a drunkard. Both he and Mr. Allin once, after having +spent the day at a public feast, came into an official meeting drunk in +the evening. I was present, and saw the horrible sight. It afterwards +came out that this rude, ambitious man was something worse than a +drunkard. I did what I could to avoid an open rupture with my colleagues +and this man's friends, and succeeded for a time, but they obliged me at +last, either to sanction what I felt to be wrong, or openly to protest +against their proceedings. I protested. And now the unsubstantial peace +which had existed between us for a time was followed by a very unhappy +rupture, which left deep and angry wounds in the hearts of all the +contending parties. + +26. But to give all the incidents which proved the occasion of bitter +feeling and alienation between me and a number of my brethren would +require a book. They were happening almost continually. When once people +have ceased to regard each other with love and confidence, they can +neither speak nor stir without giving each other offence. And this was +the state to which I and several of my brethren had come. Indeed such +was the unhappy state of our feelings, that we had ceased to take +pleasure in pleasing, and had come almost to take delight in trying one +another. Instead of coming as near together as we could, we got as far +as possible apart. We came at length to feel a kind of gratification in +finding what appeared good reasons for differing from one another. The +consequence was, we came to differ from each other so much, that it +became impossible for us to work together to any advantage. + +And there was no one with wisdom and piety sufficient to interpose and +heal the breach, or even to prevent it from getting continually wider. +The gentleman who had acted as mediator and moderator when my article on +_Toleration and Human Creeds_ was arraigned, and who had also brought +about the temporary settlement of a more serious dispute at the +Conference following, now found the case beyond his powers, and made no +further attempts at reconciliation. He saw it necessary, if he would +retain his influence in the Body, to become a partizan, instead of a +mediator, and he chose the side of my opponents. There were two other +men--two of the oldest and ablest of our ministers--and two of the most +exemplary Christians in the Body--who saw the danger of the tempest that +was raging against me, and who would have been glad to screen me from +its violence, but they were afraid to interpose. They loved me and +esteemed me, and sympathized with me in many of my views; but to have +attempted to save me from the fury of my opponents, would have been to +risk their own reputation and position. One of them had already suffered +in consequence of the freedom with which he had expressed his views on +certain anti-christian doctrines, though he had written with far more +caution, and acted with much more prudence, than I had done; and he no +doubt felt, that if he could not, without so much difficulty, save +himself, it would be vain to attempt to save another, who had spoken and +written with so much more freedom, and acted with so much more +independence. So the storm was left to rage and spend its fury on my own +head. + +I cannot give an account of all that followed during the last two years +which I spent in connection with the Church; it would make my story too +long. But things got worse and worse as time passed on. + +In 1840 I brought my _Evangelical Reformer_ to a close. In the last +number I declared my unchanged belief in the sentiments set forth in my +article on "_Toleration, Human Creeds, &c._" I also contradicted the +reports that had been spread abroad by my enemies, to the effect that I +had, at the preceding Conference, retracted certain expressions used in +my writings with regard to justification, the witness of the Spirit, +&c.; and censured the conduct of the ruling party in my case in very +plain terms. I said, "If any of my opponents imagine that I have +recanted a single sentence that I have published in this work, they are +under some misapprehension. There is not a doctrine that I have +inculcated in it that I do not still maintain. And I declare my full +conviction that the resolutions which were passed in reference to me by +the Ashton and Huddersfield Conferences were based in error, and that +the proceedings of my opponents in this matter were uncalled for and +unchristian." + +My enemies at once decided on my expulsion. Their purpose was to cast me +out at the following Conference, and Mr. Allin published a small tract +in reply to my article on Human Creeds, to prepare the minds of the +people for the intended measure. He published it just before Conference, +when he supposed it would be impossible for me to prepare a reply before +the Body assembled. I never saw it till the evening of Thursday, the day +but one before that on which I was to leave home for the distant place +where the Conference was to meet. But I wrote a reply the same night, +and got it printed, and in less than twenty-four hours it was +circulating in every direction. I had been able to show that my +opponent's arguments proved just the contrary of what they were brought +forward to prove. I also showed that the views advocated in my article +were the views of Mr. Kilham, the founder of the Body to which we all +belonged, and were, in fact, the views of some of the best and ablest +men that the Church universal had ever produced. I gave quite a +multitude of quotations justifying my article to the very letter. The +effect was astounding. The people saw at once that I was right. My +enemies were confounded. They were paralyzed. And I was saved. + +But it was only for a time. The contest had lasted so long, and had +produced such a fearful amount of unhappy feeling between me and my +opponents, that reconciliation and comfortable co-operation had become +impossible. It could not be expected that a powerful party would rest +content under a defeat; and it was not in me to give up my efforts to +bring about a better state of things in the Connexion. And hence a +renewal of the unhappy strife. + +It is natural to suppose that my enemies would now be anxious to get rid +of me, and would watch for a suitable occasion to cast me out; and my +ideas of duty were such, that it was impossible for me long to refrain +from giving them the opportunity they desired. I did it as follows. + +1. The early churches provided for their poor members. The Quakers, the +Moravians, and the early Methodists did the same. This exercise of +brotherly love is enjoined by Christ and His Apostles. I urged this duty +on the church to which I belonged. I preached and published a sermon on +the subject, and circulated a number of tracts on the same point, +published by others. + +2. The travelling preachers had a Fund, called the Beneficent Fund, for +the support of superannuated preachers and preachers' widows. Some of +the rules of this fund seemed to me to be anti-christian, and I labored +to get them altered. I also recommended that there should be a fund for +worn-out and needy local preachers. + +3. Members of the churches mingled with drunkards, profligates, and +infidels, in benefit societies, and many other associations. This seemed +to me to be very objectionable, and plainly unscriptural, and I +recommended that they should come out from such societies, and form +associations for good objects among themselves. + +4. Wesley had provided cheap books and pamphlets for his societies, and +I urged the Conference to do the same for ours. I wrote letters to the +Annual Committee, the representatives of the Connexion, showing that +books published at eight or ten shillings a volume, could be supplied at +one or one and sixpence. I reminded them of the fact that the Book-room +had abundance of spare capital which might be profitably used in such a +work, and I pointed out the advantages likely to result from the +encouragement of thoughtful and studious habits among the people. I +published a pamphlet on the subject, entitled _The Church and the +Press_, showing that the churches might almost monopolize the supply of +books, and become the teachers and the rulers of the nations, I said, +"If the Church at large would do its duty, every dark place on earth +might be visited, and the seeds of truth and righteousness sown in every +part of the globe in a few years." With regard to our own Connexion I +said, "Our Magazine and Book-room, which ought to be promoting the +intellectual and religious improvement of the Connexion and the world, +are doing just nothing at all, or next to nothing. The leading articles +of the Magazine are among the dullest and most useless things ever +printed. The Book-room, which has capital enough to publish thirty or +forty new books a year, does not issue one. An institution which ought +to be filling the Connexion and the country generally with the light and +blessings of Christianity, and which is capable of being made a blessing +to the world at large, is allowed to 'stand there all the day idle.'" + +I then proposed, as a means of stimulating the Book Committee and the +Editor of the Magazine to greater activity, that I and my friends should +be allowed to publish a periodical, and to establish a Book-room, at our +own expense. The proposal was not only rejected, but even treated as a +capital offence. + +5. I had labored hard against the infidel socialists, lecturing against +them in almost all the large towns in the kingdom, and I was, to a great +extent, the means of breaking up their societies. But my contests with +those infidels made me more sensible of the necessity of abandoning all +human additions to Christ's doctrine, and of having nothing to defend +but the beautiful and beneficent principles of pure unadulterated +Christianity. Hence I became still less of a sectarian in my belief, and +more and more of a simple Christian, and I labored to promote a stricter +conformity to the teachings of Christ among ministers and Christians +generally. + +6. I wrote against the waste of God's money by professing Christians in +luxurious living and vain show, and exhorted the rich to employ their +surplus wealth in doing good. + +7. That it might not be said that I received pay from the church for +doing one kind of work while I employed a portion of my time in doing +others, I gave up my salary, and refused to receive anything from the +circuit in which I was stationed, except what was given me as a +free-will offering. + +8. I withdrew from the preachers' benefit society, resolved, in case of +sickness or old age, to trust for a supply of my wants to the providence +of God. + +9. I recommended the Connexion to pay off all the chapel debts, and +prepare itself for more vigorous and extensive aggressions on the +kingdom of darkness. + +All these things increased the anxiety of my opponents to get me out of +the ministry; but they would probably have failed to give them the power +to accomplish their object, if I had gone no farther. But I believed it +my duty to take another step. + +10. It was the custom in the Body to which I belonged, to baptize +children in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. This +form of words was understood by me to imply that infant baptism was +commanded by God in Scripture. This, however, I doubted, and I declined +to use the words when naming or baptizing children. I had no objection +to name children, to pray for them, or even to sprinkle them; but I +could not use an expression in a sense in which I did not think it +strictly true. This emboldened my enemies to attempt my expulsion +without more ado, and this time they adopted measures calculated to +ensure success. They issued circulars on the subject to the ministers +and to the leading and influential laymen. They called secret meetings. +They employed a variety of means which seemed to me and my friends to +savor more of Popish tyranny than of Christian discipline. At length +Conference came, and I was called to account. The charges against me +were-- + +1. That I had denied the divine appointment of baptism, and refused to +administer the ordinance. + +2. That I had denied the divine appointment and present obligation of +the Lord's supper. + +3. That I had declared myself opposed to the beneficent fund. + +4. That I had announced the formation of a book establishment, thereby +engaging in worldly pursuits, contrary to rule, and by this means +opposing the best interests of the Book-room. + +None of those charges were true. 1. What I proposed to do with regard to +the supply of books, was no more worldly business than preaching was, +or selling the publications of the Connexion. The object was not profit, +but extended usefulness. 2. I had not declared myself opposed to the +Beneficent Fund, but had simply proposed the improvement of its rules, +and the extension of its operations. 3. I had not denied either the +divine appointment or present obligation of the Lord's supper. 4. Nor +had I denied the divine appointment of baptism, but only declared my +belief that _water baptism_, though a becoming rite under the Christian +dispensation, was the baptism of John, and absolutely binding only under +his intermediate dispensation. + +The two latter charges were not pressed, and even the second was +speedily given up, the one on baptism only remaining. This was pressed, +and as my views on the subject were deemed intolerable, I was expelled. + +There was a fearful display of bad feeling on the part of many of my +opponents. And no little pressure was brought to bear on those who were +opposed to extreme measures. It was a time of terrible trial to those +who showed themselves my friends. The height to which the excitement +against me rose can hardly be made intelligible to my readers of the +present day. I regarded the proceedings of my opponents from beginning +to end as dishonorable, unjust and cruel. "They have gone," said I, in +my account of the proceedings of the Conference, "they have gone in +opposition to every dictate both of equity and charity. The principles +on which they have acted are the low, the dark, and the tyrannical +principles of Popery. They have covered themselves with dishonor, and +earned for themselves a name for injustice, intolerance and cruelty, +beyond all the religious denominations in the land. Many a time, as I +sat in my place in Conference, hearing what was said, and observing what +was done, I asked myself, 'Is this like Christ? Can this be pleasing to +God? What must angels think to look upon a scene like this? Perpetual +talk about the authority of Conference and the majesty of the rules; but +not a word about the authority of Christ, or the majesty and supremacy +of the Gospel. And such overbearing, such harshness, such determined +unrelenting cruelty towards all who showed a determination to act +according to their own convictions of duty.' In the evenings, after the +sittings of Conference were adjourned, I and a friend frequently walked +out among the hills surrounding the town, conversing with each other, +and with our heavenly Father, and oh! what a contrast! What a boundless +contrast between the atmosphere of Conference, and the atmosphere of +those sweet hills! What an infinite relief to be placed beyond the sound +of angry strife, and jealous, persecuting rage; to walk at large over +the lofty hills, to breathe the fresh air of heaven, to converse with +God, to look upon His wondrous works, to hear the sweet music of the +birds, to trace the silent path of the shadowy woods, or to stand on the +exposed, uncovered peaks of the mountain tops, and cast one's eyes on +fruitful vales, and quiet homes, and all that earth can show of grand +and beautiful, and most of all, to see in every sight the hand of +God--to hear in every sound His voice,--to feel that the Great, +Almighty, Unseen Spirit of the Universe, that lived and worked through +all, was our Father and our love,--to feel that we were one with Him, +and that He was one with us. 'This is heaven,' I cried; and, pointing to +the scene of strife and hate that lurked below, I added, 'That is hell.' +Never before did we understand why Jesus, after having spent the day in +crowds, and being harassed with the captious, cruel, persecuting Scribes +and Pharisees, retired at night into the desert, or withdrew to the +mountains. Never before did the Gospel seem so true a story. Never +before were we brought into such living sympathy with the Saviour of +mankind. I can recollect nothing I ever met with so trying as to sit in +Conference; but in our walks upon the high places, God made up for all." +"Well," I added, "I thank God I am now free. My Conference trials are +ended. O never more may I be found shut up with men who set at nought +the authority of Christ, and who, by all the cruel acts of unrelenting +persecution, strive to bend the immortal godlike mind into unnatural +subjection to their ambitious will." + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +EXPLANATIONS. + + +A few explanations are required before we go further. + +_Explanation First. The Different Methodist Bodies._ + +The Methodist Body to which my parents belonged, and to which I myself +belonged till I was twenty-one years of age, was the Old Connexion or +Wesleyan Body. I was a local preacher in that Body, and was expected and +requested to go out as a travelling preacher. But insurmountable +difficulties lay in the way. In the first place, none could be received +as travelling preachers, unless they were willing to go to whatever part +of the world the conference or the missionary committee might think fit +to send them, and unless they could _express_ their willingness to be so +disposed of before they went out. This I could not do. It was my +conviction that God had called me to labor in my own country, and to do +good amongst my own people. I did not believe myself called to go to any +foreign country to preach the gospel, and I did not therefore feel at +liberty to offer to go out on the terms required. I felt as if I should +do wrong to expose myself to unseen dangers and unknown trials and +difficulties in foreign lands, without a conviction that God required it +at my hands. And I could not think that I should be likely to succeed in +missionary labors, unless I could enter on them with a belief that those +were the labors for which God designed me. + +There was another difficulty. Conference had made a new law, +establishing a new test of orthodoxy, and no one could be taken out as a +travelling preacher now, who could not subscribe to the doctrine of the +Eternal Sonship, as taught by Richard Watson and Jabez Bunting, in +opposition to Adam Clarke. This test I could not subscribe. I cannot say +that I altogether disbelieved the doctrine of the Eternal Sonship; but I +was not in a state of mind to justify me in subscribing the doctrine. +Whether the doctrine of the Eternal Sonship was right or not, I had not +a firm belief in it: and that was reason enough why I should refuse to +subscribe it. + +About this time Conference passed laws forbidding the teaching of +writing in all the Sunday Schools. I disapproved of these laws, and was +unable to bind myself to enforce them. I was obliged therefore to give +up all thoughts of becoming a travelling preacher in the Old Connexion. + +Not long after this, disturbances took place in the Methodist society in +Leeds, respecting the introduction of an organ into Brunswick Chapel. +Conference, through the importunities of some rich people, had broken +through its own laws, and given authority for the introduction of an +organ into Brunswick Chapel contrary to the wishes of a great part of +the members, trustees, local preachers, and leaders. I of coarse +disapproved of this proceeding on the part of Conference. I had heard +the Rev. Joseph Suttcliffe speak very seriously and with great and +sorrowful dissatisfaction of the proceedings of those who were then at +the head of Methodistical affairs, and though I did not, at the time, +rightly understand him, events that took place afterwards, both brought +his words to my mind, and showed me their meaning. In consequence of +what I saw, I began to be greatly dissatisfied with the manner in which +things were carried on in the society. + +A division took place in Leeds, and in several other places, and the +seceders formed a new body, called the Protestant Methodists. I left the +old Body at the same time, but having heard favorable accounts of the +Methodist New Connexion, I joined that community. This Body had seceded +from the Old Connexion some thirty years before, under the Leadership of +Alexander Kilham. Kilham was a great reformer both in religion and +politics. He sympathized with the French revolutionists, and with the +English religious Latitudinarians. He was a great admirer of Robert +Robinson of Cambridge, and reprinted, in his periodical, _the Methodist +Monitor_, his writings on religious liberty. He denounced all human +creeds, and proclaimed the Bible the one sole authority in the church +both in matters of doctrine and matters of duty. The conference of the +Body was to consist of one-half preachers and the other half laymen. In +the circuit and society meetings the power was to be divided in the same +way. A list of doctrines generally held in the Body was afterwards drawn +up and published, but was not put forward as an authoritative creed. The +writings of Wesley and Fletcher were referred to, but not as +authorities, but only as works to be consulted. I found on looking +through the rules, that there was nothing to hinder me from becoming a +travelling preacher in this Body. I offered myself as a member, and was +received. I was then sent out as a travelling preacher; and it is to +this Body chiefly that I refer in this work. + +I entered the ministry with the full understanding that I should have +perfect Christian liberty both of thought and speech,--that nothing was +required of any minister but a belief in the New Testament, a life in +accordance with its teachings, and the abilities necessary to fit him +for his work. The perfection of the Scriptures, both as a rule of faith +and a rule of life, was one of the first articles in the connexional +list of doctrines, and each preacher was left to interpret the +Scriptures for himself. + +To show that the liberty I took in revising my creed was in full +agreement with the principles on which the Body to which I belonged was +founded, I will give a quotation or two from the Founder's works. + +"Subscription to all human creeds implies two dispositions contrary to +true religion, love of dominion over conscience in the imposer, and +slavery in the subscribers. The first usurps the right of Christ; the +last implies allegiance to a pretender." Vol. I, page 77. + +"The revelation itself is infallible, and the Author of it has given it +me to examine; but the establishment of a given meaning of it renders +examination needless, and perhaps dangerous." P. 78. + +"I have no patience with those who cover their own stupidity, pride, or +laziness, with a pretended acquiescence in the unexamined opinions of +men who very probably never examined their own opinions themselves, but +professed those which lay nearest at hand, and which best suited their +base secular interest." Vol. II, p. 340. + +"I am seriously of opinion, and I wish all my readers would seriously +consider it, _that real Christianity will never thoroughly prevail and +flourish in the world, till the professors of it are brought to be upon +better terms with one another; lay aside their mutual jealousies and +animosities, and live as brethren in sincere harmony and love; but which +will, I apprehend, never be, till conscience is left entirely free; and +the plain BIBLE become in FACT, as it is in PROFESSION, the ONLY rule of +their religious faith and practice_." P. 271. + +Such were the sentiments which Alexander Kilham thought proper to +publish on the subject of creeds. + +He adds, that he did so for the purpose of "giving to our people and +others _suitable views of religious liberty in general_, AND OF WHAT +OUGHT TO BE ESTABLISHED AMONG US IN PARTICULAR." + +In all I did, then, both in endeavoring to bring my views into harmony +with the teachings of Christ, and in suggesting reforms in the laws and +institutions of the Body, I acted in perfect accordance with the +principles on which the Connexion was founded. Whether the principle was +a good one or not may be questioned: all I say is, it sanctioned my +course. + +_Explanation Second. Immoralities._ + +What I say of immoralities in ministers and members of the Church refers +chiefly to ministers and members of the New Connexion. I must not +however be understood as saying that the ministers and members of the +Old Connexion were free from such vices. They were not. James Etchells, +the minister who drank sixteen glasses of intoxicating drinks on one +round of pastoral calls, and John Farrar, his superintendent, whom he +got suspended for drunkenness, and Richard Wilson, who opened the first +spirit shop in my native town, and corrupted the people all round the +country, and Timothy Bentley, the great Brewer and Poisoner-General of +the bodies and souls of the Yorkshire people, and John Falkener, of New +Castle-on-Tyne, the wholesale Beershop-Keeper, &c., were all members and +high officials in the Wesleyan Body. And I never heard of a man being +either kept out or put out of the Wesleyan Connexion either for being a +Brewer, a Distiller, a Spirit Merchant, a Ginshop Keeper, a Publican, a +Pawnbroker, or a Beershop-keeper. And I never heard of the Conference +doing anything to promote teetotalism, or the suppression of the liquor +trade. The rules and teachings of Wesley, and the principles of Christ +on this subject, were as little cared for in the Old as in the New +Connexion. + +There were points though in which the Old Connexion seemed to me +superior to the New. There seemed more hearty religiousness in the Old +Connexion than in the New. The preachers in the Old Connexion seemed to +be a higher order of men, both in piety and intelligence. They seemed to +be kinder too to each other, less jealous, less envious, and less +disposed to annoy and persecute one another. And they worked harder. +They had more of the spirit of Wesley. They were less anxious to steal +sheep from other folds, and more disposed to go out into the wilderness +to bring in those which were astray. With many of the New Connexion +members religion was too much of a form and a name: with an immense +number in the Old Connexion it was a life and a power. Hence the Old +Connexion prospered, while the New Connexion languished and declined. +The New Connexion trusted to their democratic principles of church +government for additions, and were disappointed. The Old Connexion +trusted to honest, zealous, Christian work, and succeeded. The Old +Connexion, bred great and mighty men, the New Connexion bred weak and +little ones. The New Connexion was afraid of superior men, and if any +made their appearance, drove them away, as in the case of Richard Watson +and others; the Old Connexion welcomed such men, and used them, and +reaped from their labors rich harvests of blessing. I might myself +perhaps, if my way into its ministry had not been blocked up, have been +much more happy and useful in the Old Connexion than in the New, and +have had a very different story to tell in my old age, from that which I +am telling you now. I don't know. + +No; I don't know. It is quite possible that I was so formed,--that +religious freedom was so essential to the soul God had given me,--that I +should have broken through the enclosures of any sect, and made for +myself a history like that which I am now writing. But speculations on +such subjects are all vain. A man can live but once, and in one way, and +all we can do now is to live well for the future,--as well as we can. +God help us. + +God will help us. And we must not suppose that because we have not had +the lot which imagination pictures as most desirable, we have lived in +vain. Let us look on matters in a more cheerful light. The world, and +all our affairs, are in the hands of an all-perfect God, and always have +been, and I am inclined to believe, that with regard to myself, He has +done all things well. I meant to do right from the first. I never +wickedly departed from God. I erred unintentionally and unexpectedly. I +erred seeking for the truth. I erred praying to God to lead me right. +And I am inclined to believe that my course was not entirely of myself, +but was a discipline appointed me by a higher power, and meant to +further some desirable end. So I will go on hoping and rejoicing, +interpreting God's doings as favorably as I can, and believing, that +what I know not now, I shall know hereafter. And all the time I will +rejoice in God's love, and sing Glory, Hallelujah. + + +_Explanation Third. Christianity and Methodism not to Blame._ + +Do not let any one judge of Christianity or Methodism, nor even of the +whole body of the Methodist Church, from the cases of immorality which I +have found it necessary to name. Christianity and real Wesleyan +Methodism are as opposed to bad trades and bad deeds as light is to +darkness. And bad as things were in the churches to which I have +referred, a large portion, if not the great bulk of the members, were +sincere Christians, fearing God and working righteousness. Nor were all +the preachers bad-hearted or cruel men. It often happens that a few +control the many. And the ruling few are often worse than the many whom +they rule. The least worthy members of the church are often, like +Diotrephes, eager for the pre-eminence, while the best are modest and +retiring. It is not always the cream that comes to the top, either in +civil or religious society; it is sometimes the scum. And my readers +must take these things into account while reading my story. The early +Methodist churches were blessed organizations, bitterly as Wesley and +Fletcher lamented their shortcomings and backslidings. With all their +faults they were the lights of the world, and the salt of the earth. +They are so still. They were so in the days of which I write. And the +same may be said of other churches. They fall very far short of the +perfection of Christian knowledge and holiness, but they are as far in +advance of a godless world, as Christianity is in advance of them. I +think it no objection to Christians or to Christian churches that they +do not at once embody and exemplify Christian truth and virtue in all +their fullness, any more than I think it an objection to men of science +and scientific associations that they do not know and set forth all the +laws of the material universe. Men are finite, while Nature and +Christianity are infinite. Christianity will always be ahead of +churches, and nature will always be ahead of science, as God will always +be ahead of man. I would have churches and ministers improve, and I +would tell them of their faults and shortcomings that they may see where +improvement is wanted, but I would not on any account do them injustice, +or give countenance to the infidel slander that the church is worse than +the godless world, or a twentieth part as bad. + +And though I would explain how unhappily I was influenced by the errors +and misdoings of my brethren, that I may make my apostacy from Christ +intelligible, I have no desire to make the impression that all with whom +I came in uncomfortable collision were great sinners, while I was a meek +and faultless saint. I know the contrary. There were errors and failings +on both sides. I may sometimes think 'I was more sinned against than +sinning,' but at other times I am ashamed and confounded at my great and +grievous errors. God forgive me. I was dreadfully tried at times by my +brethren; but my brethren were tried by me at other times past all +endurance. God only knows which was most to blame; but I was bad enough. +If either I or my brethren had been as wise and good as men should +strive to be, both they and I might have had a very different story to +tell; a story much more agreeable to our readers and much more +creditable to ourselves. But the past is past, and my brethren, most of +them, have gone to judgment, and I am hastening after; and it behooves +me to tell as fair a story, and to tell it in as meek and lowly and +loving a spirit as possible. And I here declare, that if any expression +of bitterness, or any statement savoring of harshness or injustice, +escapes my lips, I wish it softened, and brought into harmony with +perfect truth and charity. + +It is very difficult, when a man is giving an account of his life, to be +strictly just and impartial. Perhaps it is impossible. It is very +difficult, when he is telling of his trials, to keep from all +expressions of strong and unpleasant feeling towards those whom he +regards as the causes of his trials. Perhaps this also is impossible. My +readers must consider this, and make allowances both for me and my +brethren. + +And both my readers and I must try to bear in mind, that men are not the +sole actors in the pitiable blunders and melancholy tragedies of their +lives. God had to do with the descent of Joseph into Egypt. His brethren +were the visible actors, but a Great Invisible Actor directed and +controlled their doings. Our ignorance and our vices are our own, but +the form they take in action, and the effects they produce, are God's. +Shimei's wickedness was his own, but it was God that caused it to show +itself in throwing stones at David. All our trials are, in truth, from +God, and it would be well for us to regard them in that light. And we +ought no more to be malignantly resentful towards the men whom God makes +use of to try us, than we ought to murmur against God. We should try to +go through all with the meek and quiet spirit with which Jesus went +through the still greater trials that lay in His path. And in speaking +of our trials, we should try to exhibit the sweet forgiving temper that +shines out so gloriously in the life and death of the Redeemer. And if +we can go a step farther, and rejoice in tribulation, and smile in +peaceful tranquility at the erring but divinely guided actors in our +trials, so much the better. And if we can believe that all things work +together for good not only to them that love God, but even to those who +for a time are unwittingly separated from God, why should we not +'rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks?' My gracious God, I +know that there are expressions in this book that might have been +better,--that feelings sometimes show themselves that are not the +perfection of Christian love and meekness; and I ask Thee in Thy mercy +to forgive them all: And I pray Thee so to influence my soul for the +time to come, and to enable me so to use my tongue and pen, that all I +say and write may savor of Jesus, be in agreement with my Christian +profession, and tend to the instruction and spiritual improvement of my +hearers and readers. + + +_Explanation Fourth. My Own Defects._ + +My character was very defective in my early days. I have felt this a +hundred times while I have been writing and revising the foregoing +pages. I was wanting in humility. There were some kinds of pride from +which I was probably free; but there were others of which I had more +than my share. And I was lacking in meekness. I could control myself and +keep quite calm in a public debate; but could be angry and resentful in +other cases. I was not sufficiently forbearing. I was not sufficiently +forgiving. + +And I was too critical, too pugnacious, too controversial. I was too +much in the habit of looking for defects in what I heard and read; +defects in style; errors in thought; mistakes in reasoning; faults in +arrangement; and improprieties in manner and spirit. + +Considering that I was to a great extent self-taught, that much that I +learned I learned after I had become almost a man, this perhaps was +natural; but it was a disadvantage. It would have been better if I had +sought only for the true, the good, the beautiful in what I heard, and +read, and saw. I ought, perhaps, instead of exercising my critical +powers on others, to have contented myself with exercising them on my +own character and performances, and with endeavoring in all things to +set an example of what was worthy of imitation. It may be that I was +_naturally_, _constitutionally_ critical; but that does not make it +right or wise. I ought to have warred with my constitutional +propensities, and to have kept my critical tendencies within the bounds +of prudence and charity. + +But this wisdom was too high for me in my early days, and I fear that +while I was pressing attention to practical matters on others, I was +myself too much busied in doctrinal matters. I was too zealous _against_ +certain doctrines while rebuking others for being too zealous _for_ +them. While they were too doctrinal and controversial positively, I was +too doctrinal and controversial negatively. They erred in going too far; +I was too zealous in pushing them back. + +In many things my enemies were wrong: but there were other things in +which I was not right. They were very foolish; and I was far from wise. +I see it, I feel it all, and I lament it too. And still I feel the +remains of my old defects and vices clinging to me. I have still great +need of the mercy of God, and of the forbearance and kind consideration +of my brethren. God help me, if it be not too late, to improve both in +wisdom and in Christian virtue. My Gracious God, it is Thy wish that Thy +people 'should be conformed to the image of Thy Son, that He might be +the first-born among many brethren.' Oh, if I could but approach that +point, and be worthy to take some humble place as a brother of that +glorious embodiment of all moral and spiritual excellence, what would I +not give,--what would I not do! If it be possible, + + Make me, by thy transforming love, + Dear Saviour, daily more like Thee. + +And while the blessed process of transformation is going on, keep me, O +Thou Friend and Saviour of mankind, from every evil word and deed, and +from every great and grievous error. + + +_Explanation Fifth. Theology and Theologians._ + +If any think I have been too severe in my remarks on theology and +theologians, and on the preachers who mock their hearers with +theological vanities, and puzzle them with their senseless theological +dialect, let them read the remarks of the Rev. Joseph Parker, D. D., G. +Gilfillan, Albert Barnes, John Wesley, Richard Baxter, and others on +this subject. Quotations from their writings may be found farther on in +the volume. We would give a few of their remarks here, but we must now +hasten on with our story. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THE STORY CONTINUED. WHAT FOLLOWED EXPULSION. DESPERATE WORD FIGHTING. +ABUSE. + + +I was expelled on a Saturday afternoon. I was unable to stay till the +closing scene, as I had an engagement to preach anniversary sermons on +the Sunday, some thirty miles away. But the news soon reached me, and I +received it with strange and indescribable emotions. I felt that +something very important had happened,--that I was placed in a new and +serious position, and was entering on a new and untried way of life; but +I little dreamt what the results would be. I expected an eventful +future, but not the kind of future that was really waiting for me. I +anticipated trials, and sorrows, and great changes; but how strangely +different the realities have proved from what I anticipated in my +fevered dreams! But I had strong faith in God, and a firm trust in His +all-perfect Providence, and no one saw me tremble or turn pale. + +I had not been expelled long when I found myself face to face with a +terrible host of trials. Some who had promised to stand by my side took +fright, and left me to my fate. Some found their interests were +endangered by their attachment to me, and fell away. Some were +influenced by the threats of their masters, and some by the tears and +entreaties of their kindred, and reluctantly joined the ranks of my +enemies. Some thought I should have yielded a point or two, and were +vexed at what they called my obstinacy. There were fearful and +melancholy changes. People who had always heretofore received me with +smiles of welcome, now looked cold and gloomy. Some raged, some wept, +and some embraced me with unspeakable tenderness; while some wished me +dead, and said it had been better for me if I had never been born. + +One man, a person of considerable influence, who had encouraged me in my +movements, and joined me in lamenting the shortcomings of the Connexion, +and in condemning the conduct of my opponents, no sooner saw that I was +doomed, than he sent me a most unfeeling letter. I met the postman and +got the letter in the street, and read it as I walked along. It pained +me terribly, but it comforted me to think that it had not fallen into +the hands of my delicate and sensitive wife. That no other eye might see +it, and no other soul be afflicted with the treachery and cruelty of the +writer, I tore it in pieces, and threw it into the Tyne, and kept the +matter a secret from those whose souls it might have shocked too rudely +for endurance. + +Another man, who had said to me a short time before my expulsion, that +whoever else might close their doors against me, his would always be +open, proved as faithless as the basest. I called one day at his shop. +As soon as he saw me, he turned away his eyes, and stood motionless and +speechless behind the counter, as if agitated with painful and +unutterable passion. I saw his family move hurriedly from the room +behind the shop to another room, as if afraid lest I should step forward +into their presence. The man kept his door open sure enough, his _shop_ +door; but his heart was closed, and he never spoke to me more as long as +he lived. + +One day I went with a brother of mine to the house of a tradesman near +Gateshead, a member and a leading man in the New Connexion, on a matter +of business. As soon as the person saw me, he began to abuse me in a +very extravagant manner. I had always had a favorable opinion of the +man, and I quietly answered, "I can excuse your severity; for you no +doubt are acting conscientiously." "That is more than I believe you are +doing," he answered, and turned away. + +There was great excitement throughout the whole Connexion. And while +many were transported with rage, great numbers took my part. The feeling +in my favor was both strong and very general. One-third of the whole +Connexion probably separated from my opponents, and formed themselves +into a new society. Several ministers joined them, and had not the +chapels been secured to the Conference, it is probable that the greater +portion of the community would have seceded. As it was, the existence of +the Body seemed in peril, and the leaders found it necessary to strain +every nerve to save it from utter destruction. + +And they were not particular as to the means they used. Before my +expulsion even my enemies had considered me a virtuous, godly man, and +acknowledged me to be a most laborious and successful minister. Now they +fabricated and circulated all manner of slanderous reports respecting +me. One day they gave it out that I had broken my teetotal pledge, and +had been taken up drunk out of the gutter, and wheeled home in a +wheelbarrow. Then it was discovered that I had not broken my pledge, but +I had been seen nibbling a little Spanish juice, so it was said I was +eating opium, and killing myself as fast as the poison could destroy me. + +At another time it was said I had gone stark mad, and had been smothered +to death between two beds. A friend came, pale and dismally sorrowful, +to condole with my wife on the dreadful catastrophe, and was himself +almost mad with delight when he found that I was in the parlor writing, +as well and as sane as usual. + +Then it was reported that I had applied for a place in the ministry +among the Calvinists, though I had up to that time professed views at +variance with Calvinism, and had even objected to be a hired minister. +When I called for the names of the parties to whom I had made the offer, +and engaged to give a large reward if my slanderers would produce them, +they found it was another Joseph that had applied for the place, and not +Joseph Barker. But the death of one slander seemed to be the birth of +two or three fresh ones. And sometimes opposite slanders sprang up +together. "If he had been a good man," said one, "he would have stopped +in the Connexion quietly, and waited for reform!" "If he had been an +honest man," said another, "he would have left the Connexion long ago, +and not remained in a community that he thought in error." I had been +"too hasty" for one, and "too slow" for another. One wrote to assure me +that I should die a violent death in less than eighteen months. Another +said he foresaw me lying on my death-bed, with Satan sitting on my +breast, ready to carry away my soul to eternal torments. One sent me a +number of my pamphlets blotted and torn, packed up with a piece of wood, +for the carriage of which I was charged from four to five shillings. +Another sent me a number of my publications defaced in another way, +with offensive enclosures that do not admit of description. + +At one time it was reported that I had died suddenly at Leeds. "After +lecturing there one night," the story said, "a certain person got upon +the platform to oppose me, and I was so frightened, that I first turned +pale, then fainted, and in two hours breathed my last." I was preaching +at Penrith, in Cumberland, some seventy or eighty miles away, at the +time I was said to have died at Leeds. + +Some weeks later it was rumored that I had destroyed myself at Otley. +The maker of the tale in this case had been very particular, and given +his story the appearance of great truthfulness. He said I had gone to +lecture at Otley, and on my arrival there, was found to be more than +usually thoughtful and depressed. I lectured with my usual freedom and +power, but seemed oppressed with some mysterious sorrow. After the +lecture, instead of going along with my host, I unaccountably +disappeared, and though my friends sought for me and inquired for me all +about the town, I was nowhere to be found. In the morning, as the son of +my host was seeking for some cows in a wood on the side of the Chevin, +he found me dead and cold, with my throat cut, and the razor in my hand +with which I had done the deadly deed. The news soon spread, and my body +was taken back to Otley, where an inquest was held. The verdict was that +I had died by my own hand, in a fit of temporary insanity. + +These stories were printed and published, and circulated through the +whole country. They were shouted aloud in the street opposite my own +door, in the hearing of my wife and family, during my absence. At first +my wife and children were terribly alarmed when they heard men crying, +"The melancholy death of Mr. Joseph Barker." But they got so used to me +dying and destroying myself in time, that they took such matters more +calmly, especially as I always came again, and appeared no worse for the +terrible deaths through which I had been made to pass. + +For a year or two my enemies published a periodical called _The Beacon_, +every page of which they filled with malignant slanders. The loss of +members exasperated them past measure. The danger which threatened the +Connexion drove them mad. They took up evil reports respecting me +without consideration. They looked on all I did with an evil eye, and +recklessly charged me with wicked devices which had no existence but in +their own disturbed imaginations. One charged me with having acted +inconsistently with my views with regard to the use of money, and +another with having acted inconsistently with my belief with regard to +baptism. Any tale to my discredit was welcome, and the supply of +slanderous tales seemed infinite. They wrested my words, they belied my +deeds, they misinterpreted my motives, they misrepresented the whole +course of my life, and the whole texture of my character. + +One of the pitiful slanders circulated by my enemies was the following. +My custom was, when I went out to lecture, or to preach anniversary +sermons, to charge only my coach fares, rendering my services gratis. +For eighteen years I never charged a penny either for preaching or +lecturing. But the people of Berry Brow, near Huddersfield, said I had +charged them thirty shillings for preaching their anniversary sermons, +and the Conference party took the trouble to spread the contemptible +charge through the Connexion. + +The facts of the case were these: I had an engagement to preach +anniversary sermons at Hanley, in the Staffordshire Potteries. The Berry +Brow people heard of this, and as I had to pass their place on my way to +Hanley, they requested me to spend a Sabbath with them, and preach +_their_ anniversary sermons. I did so, and charged them thirty +shillings, about one-third of the expenses of my journey, taking the +other two-thirds from the Hanley people. This was all. + +Of course such matters would not be worth naming, if it were not to show +how much there was in the conduct of my persecutors to give me a dislike +to their character, and to prejudice me against their views. + +That you may have an idea of my labors as a preacher, take the following +account of one week's work, when I was lecturing against the infidel +Socialists, previous to my expulsion. I had preached three times on the +Sunday, walked six miles, and attended to several other duties. At half +past ten at night I started by stage coach for Bolton, a hundred and +fifty miles away. I travelled all night, and all next day, outside the +coach. It was winter, and the weather was very cold. About six in the +evening I reached Bolton. At half past seven I began my lecture, in a +place crowded almost to suffocation. After the lecture, I had an hour +and a half's debate. Between eleven and twelve I went to bed. I spent +next day mostly in writing. At half past seven I began my second +lecture, with a congregation more closely packed than the night before. +The lecture was followed with a somewhat longer debate. This continued +five nights. On Friday night I got to bed about twelve. At half past two +I started in an open gig for Manchester, twelve miles off. The morning +was very cold. There was a severe frost and a thick fog. At Manchester I +took the coach for Newcastle, and I rode outside all day, until half +past ten at night. The Sunday following I preached three times again. +And in this way I labored for nearly two years. I paid all my own +expenses. I also engaged and paid a person to preach for me, and to +attend to my other duties in the circuit, during the week. If there was +a loss at my meetings I bore it myself; never asking any one for aid. +And at times I had heavy losses. At Manchester once, after giving five +lectures, I was eleven pounds out of pocket. At Birmingham I had a loss +of thirty-seven pounds on five lectures. That was about the hardest week +I ever had. My tongue got rather white. My food lost its relish. My +thoughts kept me awake after I lay down in bed sometimes, and sometimes +awoke me after I had gone to sleep. I caught myself drawing long breaths +at times. Money came into my head at prayer, though none came into my +pocket. I did not even ask for that. I met with Combe's work on +digestion and read it, but it did not help me much, either in digesting +my food, or my heavy loss. But I made no complaints. I did not even tell +my wife till long after, when I was prosperous and comfortable again. +And none of those who heard my lectures, saw in me any sign of +discouragement. I lectured to my small audience as earnestly as if the +vast amphitheatre had been crowded. And I paid the whole loss out of my +own pocket, asking help from neither stranger nor friend. + +Just about this time Mr. Hulme, the son-in-law of my chief persecutor, +set afloat a story that I was getting immensely rich by my lectures, and +demanded that I should hand over my gains to the Connexional funds. I +could hardly help wishing that he had been compelled to take one-half of +my Manchester and Birmingham gains. + +I never charged more than two-pence, I seldom charged more than a penny, +for admission to my lectures: but such were the crowds that attended, +and such was the readiness of my friends in different places to help me +without charge, that in nine cases out of ten I had a surplus. I had +forty pounds in hand with which to pay the loss of thirty-seven at +Birmingham. Besides, I sold large quantities of my pamphlets, and they +yielded me a profit, though I sold my works eighty or ninety per cent. +cheaper than my envious brethren sold theirs. + +After my expulsion I worked harder than I had done before. The following +is only a part of one week's work. I preached three times on the Sunday; +twice to immense crowds in the open air. The time between the three +meetings I spent in talking, writing, and walking. I walked fifteen +miles. On Monday I wrote a lengthy article for my periodical, the +_Christian Investigator_. At night I lectured to a crowded audience, and +had a three hours' discussion after. About one I got to bed. At five I +was up to take the coach to Manchester. At Manchester I carried a heavy +pack two miles to the railway station. I went by train to Sandbach, then +walked about twenty-three miles to Longton, carrying my carpet bag, and +some thirty pounds weight of books, on my shoulder. It was a hot day in +June. At Longton I preached an hour and a quarter to about five thousand +people in the open air, and had a lengthy discussion after. How I slept, +I forget. I believe I was feverish through the night. In the morning my +nose bled freely, and I was better. I walked six, eight, or ten miles +daily, carrying my bag and books along with me, and preaching, or +lecturing and discussing, every night. I did this daily for weeks, and +months, and years. And I never charged a penny for my labors. And I had +no salary. I supported myself and my family by the sale of my cheap +publications. + +Yet one of the slanders circulated by my enemies was, as I said, that I +acted inconsistently with my published views on the use of money. I +taught, as Wesley had taught, and as Jesus and Paul had taught, that a +man should not lay up _for himself_ treasures on earth,--that money was +a trust from God, to be used in His service, for the good of mankind. +And I acted on these principles. I did not lay up a penny for myself on +earth. I employed all I received in doing good, hardly spending enough +on myself and family to purchase the barest necessaries. But my enemies +found I had placed fifty pounds _on interest_, in the hands of Mr. +Townsend; and away went the charge of inconsistency, hypocrisy, and what +not, through the country. There was no inconsistency at all in what I +had done. + +It was a principle with me, never to go into debt. And my plan was, +never to begin to print a book, till I had, in the first place, got the +money ready to pay the expense of printing, and, in the second place, +reconciled myself to lose the money in case the book did not sell. At +the time I placed the fifty pounds in the hands of Mr. T., I was +preparing to print a book that would cost me thrice that amount. I did +print it, and paid the expense in cash, according to my principles and +plan. I follow the same plan still: my printers like it; and so do I. I +owed a dollar and a half at the close of last year. The thought of it +troubled me, not much, but still a little, during the watch-night +services at Siloam church. I had only owed the sum ten hours, and I paid +it next morning, but still, the thought of the debt made the ending of +the old year, and the beginning of the new one, a trifle less happy than +they might have been, if I had been entirely straight with all the +world. + +In some cases, when I went out to lecture, the leading ministers of the +Connexion would come to my meetings, and exciting discussions followed. +These injured the Connexion still more, for I invariably gained the +sympathy of the audience. On some occasions my enemies behaved in such a +manner as to provoke my audiences past endurance, and uproar followed; +and the greatest coolness on my part, and the employment of all my +influence, were necessary to keep the more excitable of my friends from +resorting to violence. + +Very curious incidents took place sometimes, strangely confounding my +opponents, and making the impression on my friends, and on myself as +well, that God had specially interfered on my behalf. On more than one +occasion, when discreditable tales were told of me by my opponents, some +one in the audience who knew the facts, would rise and testify in my +behalf, and publicly convict my slanderers of falsehood. In one case, at +Dudley, Mr. Bakewell, who had always taken a leading part against me, +charged me before a crowded audience, with having baptized a child of +certain parents, at Hawarden in Wales, a hundred miles away, after I had +declared my belief that it was improper to baptize children. He adduced +some testimony in support of his statement, which seemed to satisfy many +in the audience that I had been guilty of inconsistency. What could I +do? I had nothing to oppose to his testimony and his pretended proofs, +but my solemn denial of the statement. Most happily for me, as soon as +my opponent took his seat, a lady rose, towards the farther end of the +room, with a baby in her arms. "I wish to speak," said the lady. The +people near her helped her to step upon a seat, that she might be seen +and heard to better advantage. "_I_ am the mother referred to by Mr. +Bakewell," said the lady, "and this is the child. Mr. Bakewell's +statement is untrue. Mr. Barker did not sprinkle my child. He only named +it, and asked God's blessing on it. Here is my husband, and he can +testify to the truth of this statement." The lady stepped down and the +husband rose. "I am the Richard Burrows mentioned by Mr. Bakewell. This +is my wife, and that is our child. Mr. Barker did not baptize it. Mr. +Bakewell's statement is false." That settled the question. The feeling +against my slanderer was tremendous. The people would not hear him speak +another word. + +It had so happened that Mr. and Mrs. Burrows had been obliged to remove +from Wales to the neighborhood of Dudley, and had just arrived at their +new home. Hearing that I was lecturing at Dudley, they hastened to the +meeting, and got there just in time to hear my opponent mention their +names in support of his charge of inconsistency. What could be more +natural than that I and my friends should regard this remarkable and +happy incident as a gracious interposition of Providence in our behalf? + +The conduct of my opponents had a most injurious effect not only on my +own mind, but on the minds of my wife and children. We came to look on +New Connexion Methodist preachers as some of the worst of men,--as the +very essence or embodiment of deceit and malignity; and our respect for +Methodist preachers generally, and even for Methodism itself, was +greatly abated. The consequence was, we were prepared to move in almost +any direction that would take us farther away from our old associates, +and we all became, to some extent, anti-Methodistical in our feelings +and sentiments. + +Exciting meetings like the one at Dudley took place in almost every part +of the country. The numbers attending them were so great that no room +could hold them, so that I generally had to speak in the open air. And I +lectured almost every night, and often through the day as well; and +every lecture was followed with discussion. When opponents did not rise +to assail me, friends rose to consult me, and our evening meetings often +continued till nearly midnight. And I preached three times on a Sunday. +And after every meeting there was a crowd of friends anxious to talk +with me, or have my counsel about the formation or management of +societies. Some had heard strange stories about me, and wanted to know +whether they were true or not. Others had had discussions with +opponents, and wished to tell me how they had fared. Some had been +puzzled with passages of Scripture quoted by opponents, and they wished +to know my views of their meaning. Some were sick, and wanted my +prayers. Some wanted prescriptions as well as prayers, and I was obliged +to be a physician as well as a preacher and reformer. Reports of cures +wrought by my means led many to believe I had the gift of healing, and +sufferers sought my aid wherever I made my appearance. + +While one-half of each day was taken up with talking, another half was +taken up with writing. I had hundreds of letters to write, and hundreds +upon hundreds of all kinds of letters to read. I had, besides, a new +periodical on hand, for which I was expected to provide the principal +part of the articles. And special attacks on me or on my views required +a constant succession of pamphlets. + +In addition to my press of work, I had no small share of anxiety. My +wife was greatly tried, and saw no prospect of a speedy end to her +trials. When expelled I was living in the preacher's house, and had the +preacher's furniture, and many in the circuit considered that I had a +right to them, and advised me to keep them, and set the Conference +partly at defiance. I however refused to retain possession of property +with a doubtful title, and gave all up. And now I had not a chair on +which to sit, nor a bed on which to sleep. And the little money I had +was wanted for the printers. My friends provided for me in a way, but +not in the way to satisfy an anxious mother. One child was taken by one +family, and another by another, while I and my wife were accommodated by +a third. And one of the children was unkindly treated, and the rest were +not content; and no house could be a home to my wife which was not her +own; and no condition could make her content while deprived of the +company of her children. And I saw her heart was the seat of fearful +conflicts. + +For several months I went through my arduous and ceaseless labors, and +my varied and exhausting trials, without apparent injury to my health. +At length, however, continual excitement, intense thought, ceaseless +anxiety, the foul air of close and crowded rooms, perpetual travelling, +loss of sleep, lack of domestic comforts, unhealthy food, and trials of +other kinds without end, so exhausted me, that I found it difficult to +rise from my chair, or to steady myself on my feet. To walk was quite a +task,--a really painful one. I had a difficulty in putting one foot +before the other. It was a labor to drag myself along. A walk of two or +three miles quite wearied me. And when I got to my journey's end, my +lungs lacked power to utter words; my brain lacked energy to supply +thoughts; and lecturing and preaching became a weariness. When I sat +down to write, my pen seemed reluctant to touch the paper. My mind +shrank back from its task. In my ignorance of the laws of life, I +charged myself with idleness, and tried to spur myself on to renewed +activity. The attempt was vain. One afternoon I ventured to lie down and +treat myself to an after-dinner nap. I slept three hours. I had no +engagement that night, and feeling still unaccountably sleepy, I +slipped off to bed about eight o'clock. I slept till nearly nine next +morning. I slept an hour or two more after dinner. At night I slept +about ten hours more. Next day I felt as if my strength was running +over. I could do anything. My pen seemed to point to the paper of +itself, as if anxious to be writing. Walking was a pleasure. I could +preach or lecture without effort. Words, thoughts, and feelings were all +at hand to do my bidding. What I had charged on myself as idleness, was +strengthlessness, the result of sheer exhaustion. + +I had suffered so much from the intolerance of my old colleagues, that I +now resolved to be subject to no authority whatever but God and my own +conscience. And I kept my resolution. I would neither rule nor be ruled. +The extreme of priestly tyranny, from which I had suffered so +grievously, had begotten in me the extreme of religious license. I have +seen since, that a man may have too much liberty, as well as too little; +too little restraint as well as too much; and that a church without +authority and discipline must inevitably lose itself in confusion and +ruin. We are none of us fit for unlimited liberty: we all need the +supervision, and counsels, and admonitions, of our Christian brethren. + +After my separation from the Methodist New Connexion I became the pastor +of a church in Newcastle, which had left the Connexion on account of my +expulsion. The trustees had legal and rightful possession of the large +and nice new chapel there, and they and the other officials of the +church were both dissatisfied with the doings of Conference, and +desirous to secure me as their minister. They were aware of my +admiration of the Quakers, and of my leaning towards some of their +peculiar views and customs. They were also acquainted with my way of +preaching, for I had travelled in that Circuit some years before, and I +had preached for them frequently while stationed at Gateshead. They knew +my character too, and were acquainted with all my conflicts with the +ruling party in the Connexion from which I had been expelled. And though +they did not think exactly as I thought on every point, they saw nothing +in my views but what they could freely tolerate. They were satisfied +that I was conscientious; and they considered my general deportment to +be highly exemplary. And they knew I was a hard-working and successful +minister. One of the leading members was a printer, and had been +consulted by the Annual Committee of the New Connexion in reference to +my communications to them about the publication of cheap books by the +Book-room. They thought my statements were extravagant; he told them +they were very near the truth, if not the truth itself. This gentleman +was one of the most eager now to arrange for my settlement as a minister +in Newcastle. The officers and members of the church generally were +disposed to consult my feelings and meet my views. They did not require +me to be a hired or salaried minister. They knew the wants of my family, +and they would provide for them. They would appoint a person to baptize +children. They were not particular about theological niceties. They had +read my writings; they were acquainted with the controversies that had +taken place between me and my opponents; and they were satisfied that I +was right on every point of importance; and that was enough. And they +liked my simple, earnest, practical style of preaching. So everything +was comfortably arranged. + +We united on the principle laid down in my article on "_Toleration, +Human Creeds_," &c. The Bible was our creed: the Bible was our law-book; +though we were still, on the whole, methodistical, both in doctrine and +discipline. Numbers of other churches were organized on the same +principle, in various parts of the country; and several young preachers +left the body to which I had belonged, or were expelled on account of +their attachment to me, and became their ministers. And the churches +prospered. Numbers of people joined them, both from the world and from +other religious communities. + +For nearly two years things went on very happily at Newcastle, and the +church was very prosperous. I labored to the utmost extent of my powers. +I preached twice every Sunday to my own congregation, and once to +another congregation at Gateshead, or in the country. I visited the +churches also in every part of the land, preaching and lecturing +continually. + +All this time my old opponents continued their abuse. Though I +relinquished no Christian doctrine, and added to the truth no dreams or +speculations of my own, but employed myself continually in preaching the +great practical principles of the Gospel, and in urging my hearers to +love and good works, they assailed me with the bitterest hatred. And the +more the churches with which I was connected prospered, the more +furiously my enemies raged. + +And when people left other denominations to unite with my friends, +ministers and members of those denominations joined my opponents in +their evil work. They preached abusive sermons and published abusive +pamphlets. There was eager, angry controversy on every hand. Hard words +were used on both sides. The feelings of both parties were heated to a +high pitch. And as is usual in such cases, both parties, under the +influence of their passions, came to the conclusion that their opponents +were neither sound in doctrine, nor good in character. + +Towards the close of the second year I got into trouble at Newcastle. A +religious reformer of the name of George Bird came to the town. His +father was a clergyman in the Church of England, and he himself was +rector of Cumberworth. He was recommended to me by some of my friends +who lived near Cumberworth, and as he was wishful to spend some time in +Newcastle and the neighborhood, I took him into my house, and gave him a +home. He had published a book on the Reform of the Church of England, +urging the abolition of a number of abuses, and recommending the +restoration of what he considered true Christian discipline. His idea +was, that Christians should meet for religious _worship apart_ from +people of the world,--that though preachers might _preach_ to mixed +audiences, they should reserve their singing and praying, and all that +was strictly worship, for assemblies of Christians alone. He recommended +that the members of the church should meet first, in a place apart, or +in a part of the chapel marked off for themselves, and go through their +devotions all alone, and that the sermon, addressed both to believers +and unbelievers, should be quite a separate service. He had passages of +Scripture, and church tradition, and considerations of fitness and +propriety, by which he recommended his doctrine, and to some they proved +convincing. I began myself, after thinking the matter over for awhile, +to have a leaning towards his views. My friends could so far tolerate +the new views, that they allowed Mr. Bird to preach in their chapels, +letting some one else conduct the singing and praying parts of the +service. But when they found that their own minister began to look with +favor on the new plan, they became alarmed. They could tolerate +peculiarities in others, but they were not disposed to appear before the +world as reformers and innovators themselves. Nor would they allow their +minister to go any farther in the way of reform than he had gone before +they had accepted him as their pastor. They had reconciled themselves to +the changes of which he had been the subject previous to his special +connection with them, but they would have no new ones. He might go back +a little if he pleased, but not forwards. + +Both my friends and I were placed in a trying position. I was bent on +compliance with whatever seemed to be the requirements of the Gospel, +and my friends, who had no misgivings on the subject of public worship, +were resolved not to tolerate a change. I kept the usual course as long +as I could do so without self-condemnation, but at length was +constrained to change. One Sunday night I preached from the concluding +words of the Sermon on the Mount,--"Therefore whosoever heareth these +sayings of Mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which +built his house upon a rock: and the rain descended, and the floods +came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for +it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of +Mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which +built his house upon the sand: and the rain descended, and the floods +came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and +great was the fall of it." I reviewed the sayings of Christ referred to +in the text. I dwelt at some length on the passage about praying in the +synagogues and in the corners of the streets. The congregation was very +large, and the sermon was unusually impressive. Some said they had never +heard me preach with so much power. As I drew towards a close, I +referred again to the words on public prayer, and gave what appeared to +me to be their meaning. I remarked, that I felt bound to comply with +what I believed to be the command of the Saviour, and that I must +therefore decline to conclude the service in the usual way, by a public +prayer, and request the disciples of Christ to retire to their homes and +secret places to pray. + +The result was exceedingly painful. The confusion was dreadful. Some, +who had never thought on the subject before, and who had probably +listened to me that evening without comprehending properly my meaning, +were horrified. The officers of the church, who had accepted me as their +minister in the belief that I should never try them by anything new in +my views or proceedings, were grieved beyond measure. One of them said +to me at a meeting the following evening: "You have committed a crime, +compared with which the sin of him who betrayed his Lord for silver, was +honor and piety!" This, of course, was madness, if not blasphemy. But it +helps to show the fearful difficulties that lie in the way of the man +who feels himself called to be a religious reformer. And it tends to +show the tempest of excitement in which, for so long a period, it was my +lot to live. + +The result of this last step in my reforming career was, that almost all +the richer and more influential members of the church deserted me, and +some even of the less influential followed their example. This however +did not change my determination to do what I believed to be the will of +God. Nor did it dispose me to hesitate longer before making changes when +they seemed to be called for by the teachings of Christ. On the +contrary, it led me to resolve, that I would hold myself more at liberty +to follow the revelations of truth and duty than ever. I blamed myself +for having accepted the situation of a regular minister, blamed myself +for having allowed myself to be influenced so much by a regard to the +judgments and feelings of others. I felt a kind of pleasure at length, +when I found the leading friends who had held me so much in check, were +gone. I attributed their departure to my fidelity to Christ, and to my +growing conformity to His likeness; and I resolved to labor more than +ever to come to the perfection of Christian manhood, "to the measure of +the stature of the fulness of Christ." I comforted myself with the +thought that Jesus had been deserted, betrayed, and persecuted, before +me; and felt happy in the assurance, that if I "suffered with Him, I +should also be glorified with Him." + +I now resolved to speak and write and act more freely than ever. I would +no longer keep my thoughts to myself till I was thoroughly convinced of +their truth, but submit them to the consideration of my friends as soon +as they assumed the appearance of probability. I would think aloud. I +would search to the bottom of all things, and make known the result +without reserve. I would favor a free and fearless discussion of every +subject. And I would reduce to practice everything inculcated by Christ +and His Apostles, however much at variance it might be with the customs +of the Church. I would rid myself of prejudice. I would take nothing on +trust. Old things should now, at last, pass away, unless they were found +to form part of the doctrine of Christ; and all things should become +new. And what I purposed, I did, to the best of my ability. I arranged +for meetings of the church, at which we sang and prayed, and endeavored +to instruct and comfort one another, and provoke each other to love and +good works. When this church meeting was over, I ascended the pulpit, +and addressed the public congregation. We changed the manner of +conducting class-meetings, encouraging the members to read hymns, or +portions of Scripture, or extracts from any instructive book, or to +speak to each other for comfort or improvement. I would be no longer +_the_ teacher of the church, but only _one_ of its teachers. + +That I might be able to support my family without the aid of the church, +and so feel myself thoroughly free and independent, I resolved to +commence business as a printer. I bought a press, and type, and all the +other requisites of a printing-office, and set to work. Elizabeth Pease, +a good kind Quakeress of Darlington, gave me thirty pounds to help me in +my undertaking, and others, nearer at hand, assisted me according to +their ability. I engaged a man to work for me, and teach me how to work +myself, for I was quite a stranger to the business. I soon was able both +to set up type and work the press, though the pressure of other work +prevented me from excelling in either of those lines. Before long I had +two men at work. But my workmen were not so faithful as they should +have been, and it cost me more to print my works myself, than it had +done to get them printed by others. I got a foreman, but he used my +office to carry on a business of his own, instead of doing what he could +for mine, and I was obliged to turn him off, and pay him a considerable +sum to keep him from troubling me with a law-suit. A short time after, a +very unpromising-looking young man came and asked me for a place in my +printing establishment. He was hardly a young man, in fact, but just a +half-taught random-looking kind of boy. I asked what he could do. To my +unspeakable astonishment he told me that the place he wanted was that of +foreman. I smiled, and looked on the poor creature as a simpleton. But +though he seemed a little disconcerted, he was not to be abashed. He +told me, that if I would give him a trial, he would let me see whether +he could manage the office or not. "But how can you manage the men?" +said I. Nothing however would satisfy the poor boy but a trial, and I, +under some kind of influence, agreed to give him one. What the men +thought when he took his place, I don't know; but they seemed to act on +the principle, that as I had made him foreman, they must obey his +orders; and obey him they did, and to my agreeable surprise, everything +went on in a satisfactory manner. The youthful foreman, who turned out +to be a sensible, modest, hard-working, honest young man, did well from +the first, and improved every year, and remained with me, giving +satisfaction both to me and to my men, so long as I continued in +business. + +I had many fearful trials to pass through after I offended the leading +members of my congregation by giving up singing and prayer at public +meetings, and a heavy loss entailed on me by the dishonesty of one of +those leading members was not the least. + +Ever since the time when I first became an author, I had acted as my own +publisher and bookseller, sending out parcels to my friends, keeping +accounts, and doing the whole work of a Book-room. When I engaged to be +minister of the church in Newcastle, and became servant of the +newly-formed churches all over the country, Mr. Blackwell, the printer +referred to on page 175, advised me to put the book-selling business +into the hands of Mr. Townsend, another leading official of the church. +"You have work enough," said he, "and too much, in preaching, lecturing, +writing, and travelling, and Mr. Townsend can do the book-selling better +than you. He is a business man; he understands book-keeping; and he will +conduct the business in an orderly and efficient manner." It had always +been a principle with me never to go into debt, and I said to Mr. +Blackwell, who was then my printer, "If you will give me a guarantee +that no debt shall be incurred,--that you will never print anything till +Mr. Townsend has paid you for all work previously printed, I will agree +to your proposal." He gave me his word that he would do exactly as I +requested. Mr. Townsend was accordingly made wholesale agent for my new +periodical, and for all my other publications, and all my stock of books +was placed in his hands. For fifteen or eighteen months I gave myself no +concern about matters of business, trusting to Mr. Blackwell to keep +things right, according to his pledge. + +Mr. Townsend had another business besides my book concern, the china and +earthenware business, and about eighteen months after my business was +placed in his hands, he went into Scotland to dispose of a quantity of +his surplus stock. He had only been gone a few days before word came +that he was dead. It then came out that Mr. Blackwell had allowed him to +run up a debt of nearly seven hundred pounds for printing. It also came +out that Mr. Townsend was insolvent. He had been in difficulties for +years, and he had used the money he had received for my books to prevent +his creditors from making him a bankrupt. His journey to Scotland was +his last shift, and failing in that, he had taken opiates, it was said, +to such an extent, as to cause death. The dreadful revelations that were +laid before me shocked and troubled me beyond measure, and I knew not +what to do. Mr. Blackwell, through whose neglect or unfaithfulness the +debt had been incurred, exhorted me not to be alarmed, assuring me that +he should never trouble me for the money. So I set to work to gather up +the fragments of my property, and re-organize the business. I got in +what money I could from the agents, and gave it, along with all I could +earn, to Mr. Blackwell, to reduce the debt, though it was not in +reality a debt of mine. I gave him also a sum belonging to my wife, +which she had just received as a legacy. I gave him all that came into +my hands, except a trifle that I spent in procuring food for my family; +and in eight months I had reduced the debt to two hundred and thirty +pounds. + +It was while I was exerting myself to pay off this debt that I offended +the leaders of my congregation by giving up public worship. The person +who said that in doing so, "I had been guilty of a crime, compared with +which that of Judas in selling his Master, was honor and piety," was +this same Mr. Blackwell. When I began to print for myself, he demanded +the instant payment of the remaining two hundred and thirty pounds, and +followed the demand by legal proceedings. A friend, Mr. John Hindhaugh, +who had heard how I was situated, and who had also heard that Mr. +Blackwell had said that he would soon put a stop to my printing, went +and paid the amount demanded, and brought me the receipt, and said, that +if ever I found myself able, I might repay him the amount, but that I +must by no means put myself to any inconvenience. In course of time I +repaid my friend, and was once more out of debt. + +It was just while tried by this sad affair, that I formed the resolution +to throw off all restraints of prevailing creeds and customs, and enter +on a career of wholesale and untrammelled investigation and discussion. +I was not in the fittest state of mind to do justice to the forms of +Christianity in favor with the churches. On the contrary, the influences +to which I had been long subjected, and the peculiar state of excitement +in which I was still living, could hardly fail to carry me into +extremes. No matter, I set to work. I printed thousands upon thousands +of hand-bills, announcing a three months' convention and free discussion +in my chapel, and had them posted and distributed all round the country. +Free admission and freedom of speech were promised to all comers. Among +the subjects announced for discussion were, the Trinity, the Godhead of +Christ, the Atonement, Natural Depravity, Hereditary Guilt, Eternal +Torments, Everlasting Destruction, Justification by Faith alone, the +Nature of Saving Faith, What is a Christian? Trust in the Merits of +Christ, Instantaneous Regeneration, Christian Perfection, the direct +Witness of the Spirit, the Sabbath Question, Non-resistance, Peace, War, +and Human Governments, Law-Suits, the Credit System, Toleration and +Human Creeds, the Church, the Hired Ministry, Public Prayer, Public +Worship generally, Preaching, Sunday Schools, Freedom of Thought, +Freedom of Conscience, Class-Meetings, and the Duty of the Church to its +Poor Members. + +The chapel was kept open every day, and every day, when not called out +of town, I delivered one or two lectures on one of those subjects, +stating my own views on the point, and my reasons for holding them, and +then calling on any one that might differ from me, to state his views in +reply. The chapel was generally crowded, and the discussions were often +very animated. Persons of various denominations took part in them, and +people came from almost every part of the country to witness the +proceedings. My principal opponent, for a portion of the time, was +George Bird, the rector of Cumberworth, who had inoculated me with his +views on public worship. He was very orthodox on many points, while I, +on some points, was leaning towards Latitudinarianism. We had, at times, +very exciting contests. Mr. Bird was exceedingly anxious to gain a +victory, both for himself and for his views. And he was not particular +as to the means he employed to accomplish his object. He was very +unfair. He could not, or he would not, refrain from personal abuse, nor +from misrepresentations of my views and statements. I was severe enough +in my criticisms, but I never was knowingly, and I do not think I was +often even unintentionally, unjust to an opponent. I never charged +people with saying what they did not say, and I never forced a meaning +on their words which they were not intended to express. And if at any +time an opponent charged me with misquoting his words, or with +misrepresenting his meaning, I always accepted his corrections or +explanations. Nor did I indulge in personal abuse. Nor did I lose my +temper. I did my utmost to be just to all, and when I could not exhibit +much esteem or love for an opponent, I tried to be respectful. + +The records of those long-continued and strange debates are, I am sorry +to say, lost. But while they were proceeding I drifted further away, on +some points, from the views maintained by orthodox communities. I am not +aware however that I went much further than Wesley went during the +latter years of his life. I found, not only in Scripture, but in the +sermons of Wesley, and in the writings of Baxter, who was a favorite +with Wesley, what seemed to me fully to justify all that I had taught on +the great doctrines of Christianity up to this period. + +I gave up the _Christian Investigator_ at the end of two years, and as +two of my friends were anxious to publish a periodical, I refrained for +a time from commencing another, to give them a better chance of success. +I also helped them by writing for them, at their request, a number of +articles for the earlier numbers of their work. Their attempt however +proved a failure. The work contained a heap of Antinomian and +Millenarian nonsense, and my readers had no taste for such stuff; and +the work was given up, and the Editors shortly after left me and my +friends, and joined the Plymouth Brethren, repaying me for my kindness +by treachery and abuse. One of them published a tract when he took +himself away, exhorting my friends to be on their guard lest they should +be led by me into anti-christian error. Their conduct towards me +altogether, as I thought, was unjust and dishonorable, and though they +are now both dead, I can think of no good excuse for the way in which +they acted. But God is judge. + +I now laid aside the name of _Methodist_ and adopted that of +_Christian_, and I commenced a new periodical, bearing the same title. I +made it, as I had made my other periodicals, the organ of my own mind, +the vehicle of my own thoughts on every subject of importance that +engaged my attention. My writing was simply free and friendly talk with +my readers on matters in which we were all greatly interested. And the +work contains the history of the changes which took place in my views +during the period of its publication. + +While publishing _The Christian_, I published a multitude of pamphlets. +In answer to a pamphlet by the Rev. W. Cooke, in which I was roughly and +unjustly handled, I published seven letters entitled _Truth and Reform +against the World_, signing myself _A Christian_. In these letters I +spoke with the greatest freedom both of myself and of my opponents, as +well as on a great variety of other subjects. I exposed a number of what +seemed extravagant or unguarded statements made by my assailant with +regard to the Scriptures. I also published a work on _The Hired +Ministry_. My tracts on _Saving Faith_ and _The Atonement_ came out +about the same time. My aim in these latter publications was to free the +subject of Saving Faith and the doctrine of the Atonement from needless +mystery, by separating from the teachings of Christ and the Apostles on +those points, the bewildering and mischievous additions of ignorant +theologians. I did not deny the doctrine of salvation by faith in +Christ, but only showed that the faith in Christ spoken of in the New +Testament was simply a belief in Him as the Messiah, leading us to +receive and obey His teachings, and to trust in Him for salvation. Nor +did I deny the doctrine of redemption or atonement; but simply +endeavored to put what the New Testament said on these subjects in its +true light. In most of those works, if not in all of them, there are +evidences of undue excitement, and in many of them there are passages +which, in one's calmer and more candid mood, one is obliged to condemn. + +I extended my investigations to all religious subjects, endeavoring to +bring my views and proceedings on every point into perfect harmony with +the teachings of Christ and His Apostles. I also did my best, in +connection with my friends, to carry into practice in our church at +Newcastle what we regarded as the New Testament principles of discipline +and church government. The following were among our regulations:--We +would have no fixed payments. All must be given freely. There must be no +charge for admission to the church feasts. We would support our poor +members. We would deal with offenders according to the instructions of +Christ: first, tell them of their faults between them and us alone, &c., +&c. + +We encountered many difficulties in our attempts to carry out some of +our principles. Some, that were able to contribute, were too selfish to +do so, and left the expenses of the church to be met by the generous +few. They would eat like gluttons at the church feasts, but give nothing +towards paying for the provisions. Some seemed to enter the church to +get supported in idleness out of its funds. This seemed to be the case +especially with a blind beggar. He spared no pains in making known his +connection with the church, and its generosity in supporting him, to the +public. This brought in a number of others who were wishful to be +supported. But many of these people, after joining the church, refused +to work. It was plain that we must either give up the attempt to carry +out our generous principles, or else adopt some method of testing people +before admitting them as members, and some wise system of discipline and +government with regard to those already admitted. But we had said so +much about unlimited liberty, that we could do neither the one nor the +other without breaking up the church and building it up anew; and it +seemed too late to do that. So we dragged along as well as we could. +Some lost patience, and went to other churches. Some came to the +conclusion that Christianity as laid down in the New Testament was +impracticable, and so became skeptical. Some kept aloof from all the +churches, but still retained their faith in Christianity, and their +attachment to the principles to which we had given prominence. + +At one period I lectured frequently on Peace. The Quakers aided me in +obtaining rooms for my lectures, and supplied me with money to pay my +travelling expenses; and the Backhouses and Peases of Darlington, and +the Richardsons and others of Newcastle, contributed to the support of +my family. I met with some of the best and most agreeable people I ever +knew, among the Quakers. Many of them were remarkably liberal and +enlightened in their views, not only on religion, but on many other +subjects. I was astonished at the extent of their reading, and at the +amount of knowledge they possessed. And they had a wonderful amount of +charity towards other religious denominations. They believed the +churches were doing much good, and rejoiced in their usefulness, though +they could not always join them in their labors. I also found that in +their dealings with each other, they were exceedingly conscientious. One +Friend had recommended another, a lady, to invest her money in some +mining speculation, which he believed was likely to prove profitable. +She did so, and lost her money, or received no interest from it. The +Friend who had counselled the investment, took the shares, and returned +the lady her money. This, I believe, was not a thing by itself, but a +sample of Quaker dealings with each other. I learned some useful lessons +from the Quakers, and I received from them many favors. I retain many +pleasant recollections of my intercourse with them, and expect to think +of them with pleasure to my dying day. + +After I ceased to receive a salary for preaching, I and my family were +often in straits, and at times we seemed on the very verge of +starvation. My printing business did not pay its own expenses at first, +and for several years after it began to yield a profit, the profit was +required for new presses, new type, or had to lie dead in the shape of +increased stock of publications. And I had no income from property. Yet +in every case when we seemed to be reduced to extremities, supplies came +from some quarter or other. Sometimes I knew the hand by which +assistance was sent, but at other times my benefactors remained unknown. +There was one good Christian, John Donaldson, who was always ready with +his help. He not only aided me by many gifts, but busied himself to +induce his friends to send mo aid. He gave the first subscription +towards a steam press; and when the press was bought, he sent a sum to +purchase the first load of coals to get up the steam, to put the press +in motion. + +On one occasion, while I was lecturing in the South, nearly two hundred +miles away from home, I failed to receive the supplies I expected from +the agents for my publications, and my family seemed likely to be out of +provisions before I could send them help. My wife and children had begun +to feel uneasy and afraid. That day a man came up to the door with a +cart-load of provisions. "Does Mr. Barker live here?" said the man to my +eldest son, who had answered the knock at the door. "Yes," answered my +son. "I have brought you some things," said the man, "some flour, and +potatoes, and things." "They are not for us," said the poor little +fellow, "my father is away." "But this is Mr. Barker's, is it not?" said +the man. "Yes," said my son, "Then it is all right," said the man, "I +was told to leave them here," and he began to unload. Both children and +mother were afraid there was some mistake, but the man went on +unloading, and stocked the house with food for weeks to come. + +A day or two before, my wife and children had been talking to each +other, and expressing their apprehensions, as I had not been able to +send them any money, that they would soon be without anything to eat. +One of the children said, 'Let us pray, mother: perhaps God will send us +something.' They all knelt down, and both mother and children prayed: +and when they saw the abundant supplies with which the cart had stocked +the house, they believed that God had sent them in answer to their +prayers. + +I refused to buy paper, or type, or anything, on credit, and I was often +at a loss, when my stock of paper was almost out, to know where the +money was to come from to get a fresh supply. And I had not so much +faith as G. Müller of Bristol; at any rate, my faith did not give me the +same pleasant assurances that I should receive what I desired, that +Müller's faith gave him. I am inclined however to think that I had not +so much trust in Providence, as I ought to have had. I certainly had not +so much as I have now. But then, I am better off now than I was then. +But I was lacking, to some extent, in Christian trust in God, as well as +in resignation to His will, and hence my uneasiness. Many a time when I +laid myself down on my bed at night, instead of going to sleep, I spent +long hours in thought about my business, looking in every direction for +a prospect of supplies to enable me to pay the wages of my men, and +purchase paper. The first thing was to think of all the men that owed me +money,--to consider which of all the number would be likely to send me +remittances in time, and to reckon up the sums, to see if they would +enable me to meet the demands upon me. The next thing was to do the same +thing over again; and the next, to do it over again a third time. All +this was accompanied with long and deep-drawn sighs, which were listened +to by a fond and wakeful bedfellow, who silently sympathized with me in +all my trials, and who was as restless and anxious as myself. Sometimes +I moaned, and sometimes I prayed; and when I was wearied out with my +fruitless labors, I fell asleep. It would have been better, if I could +have done it, to have "given to the winds my fears," and lost myself in +peaceful and refreshing slumbers; for generally, on the following +morning, the needful supplies arrived. They seldom came from the parties +from whom I expected them, but they came notwithstanding. + +One day, towards the close of the year, my stock of paper was very low, +and I had nothing with which to purchase a fresh supply. Next morning a +letter came, enclosing thirty-five pounds, a Christmas gift from friends +in Ireland. + +On one occasion, when I was unwell, a gentleman whom I had never seen, +and whom I have not seen yet in fact, sent me forty pounds, to enable me +to spend a month at some hydropathic establishment. He had read a number +of my publications, and had been pleased with them, and having learned +in some way that I was not well, had sent this proof of his kind regard. + +There was one man in Newcastle, a wealthy man, who said to me, "Come to +me whenever you are in difficulty, and you shall have whatever you +need." I was often in difficulties, but hesitated to ask his help. One +day, however, after having waited for supplies from other quarters as +long as I durst, I went to him, and stated my case. He kept me waiting +an hour or more, and then said, "No." I turned away ashamed and sad. A +friend whom I encountered on my way home, said, "What is the matter with +you? Are you ill? You look bad." I was obliged to tell him my story. "Is +that all?" said he. "We can soon put that right." And he gave me, +unasked, as much as I needed. + +While we were struggling with our other difficulties, my wife was taken +ill. The house in which we lived was badly drained, or rather, the +drains being out of order, the offensive materials from other houses +lodged under the floor of our cellar kitchen, and sent forth, through +the floor, deadly effluvia. In this cellar kitchen we were obliged to +live. I was so much from home, and when at home was so much in the open +air, travelling to my appointments, and even when in the house, I spent +so much of my time in an upper room writing, that I took no harm. It was +otherwise with my poor wife. She had to be in this room almost all day +long, and often till late at night. The result was a deadly attack of +fever. She had felt unwell for some days, but had still gone on with her +work, and sought no medical advice or help. At length, as she was going +to bed one night, she fainted on the stairs. The stairs were very steep, +and the point at which she lost her consciousness was a most dangerous +one, and it seemed a miracle that she had not fallen back to the bottom +and been killed. But somehow she fell only a step or two. My eldest son +heard there was something the matter, and ran to see what it was. There +he found his poor, darling mother apparently dead, in the middle of the +steep and winding staircase. How he did it, I do not know, nor does he, +but though he was only a child of about thirteen years of age, he took +his mother, and by some mysterious means, carried her up the remainder +of the stairs, placed her on her bed, and then stood sorrowing and +trembling till she came to herself. She was ill thirteen weeks. For two +or three weeks she seemed on the point of death. On my return, late one +night, from one of my engagements, ten miles away in the country, I +found her strangely changed for the worse. She looked at me with a look +I can never forget. She thought she was dying. I thought so too. Her eye +said, Death; her whole expression said, Death. I burst into tears, and +gave what I thought was my last fond embrace. She had power to utter +just one sentence: it was an expression of tenderness and kindness, more +kind and tender than I deserved; and then fell back on her pillow, as if +giving up the ghost. But she lived through the night, and she lived +through the following day, helpless and speechless, yet still breathing. +She recovered, and remained with us to comfort and guide and bless us +for nearly thirty years, and then, alas, all too soon apparently, for +those who loved and all but adored her, she passed in peace to the +worlds of light. + +I believed myself all this time engaged in the service of my Maker, and +I regarded the arrival of seasonable help from time to time, as a proof +that I was an object of His tender care, and that my labors had His +smile and blessing. Why did I not trust Him more fully? + +By the time I had carried on my printing business for four or five +years, the outlay for type, and presses, and other kinds of printing +apparatus, became much less, while my income from the sale of books +became much greater, and I found myself able, at length, to purchase +whatever I needed as soon as I wanted it. By-and-bye I had money always +on hand. The relief I felt, when I found myself fairly above want and +difficulty, was delightful beyond measure. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +CONTACT WITH UNITARIANS, AND DOWNWARD TENDENCY TO DEISM. + + +I had now for some time been gradually approaching the views of the more +moderate class of Unitarians. Some of my friends, when they saw this, +became alarmed, and returned to their old associates in the orthodox +communities; others got out of patience with me for moving so slowly, +and ran headlong into unbelief; while the great majority still chose to +follow my guidance. + +Two of my Quaker friends, who had aided me in my peace lectures, waited +upon me and said, that it would be necessary for me, if I meant to +continue to lecture in connection with the Peace Society, not to allow +myself to be known as holding heterodox views. I answered that I would +not submit to one hair's breadth of restraint, nor to a feather's weight +of pressure; and the consequence was, the withdrawal of all assistance +and countenance from the orthodox portion of the Quakers in every part +of the country. + +The Unitarians had long been observing our movements, and when they +found us coming so near to their views, they began to attend our +meetings, and to court our company. At first we were very uneasy at +their advances, and shrank from them with real horror; but our dislike +and dread of them gradually gave way. They were very kind. They lent us +books, and assisted us with the loan of schools and chapels. They showed +themselves gracious in many ways. And after the cruelty we had +experienced from other parties, their kindness and sympathy proved very +agreeable. I read their works with great eagerness, and was often +delighted to find in them so many sentiments so like my own. I had read +some of Channing's works before, and now I read them all, and many of +them with the greatest delight. I read the work of Worcester on the +Atonement, of Norton on the Trinity, and of Ware on a variety of +subjects. I also read several of the works of Carpenter, Belsham, +Priestley, and Martineau. Some of those works I published. I also +published a work by W. Penn, "The Sandy Foundation Shaken," which some +thought Unitarian. I came at length to be regarded by the Unitarians as +one of their party. They invited me to preach in their chapels, and +aided me in the circulation of some of my publications. I preached for +them in various parts of the country. I was invited to visit the +Unitarians in London, and I preached in most of their chapels there, and +was welcomed by many of the ministers and leading laymen of the +Metropolis at a public meeting. When my friends raised a fund to +purchase me a steam printing press, many Unitarians gave liberal +subscriptions. Several of their leading men attended the meeting at +which the press was presented, and took a leading part in the +proceedings. + +I had not mingled long with the Unitarians before I found that they +differed from one another very much in their views. Some few were Arian, +some were Socinian, and some quite Latitudinarian. Some admired +Priestley, some Carpenter, some Channing, and some Parker. Some looked +on Channing as an old fogy, and said there was not an advanced or +progressive idea in his writings; while others thought that everything +beyond Channing bordered on the regions of darkness and death. Some +looked on the Scriptures as of divine authority, and declared their +readiness to believe whatever they could be proved to teach: others +regarded the Scriptures as of no authority whatever, and declared their +determination to accept no views but such as could be proved to be true +independent of the Bible. Some believed Jesus to be a supernatural +person, commissioned by God to give a supernatural revelation of truth +and duty, and empowered to prove the divinity of His mission and +doctrine by supernatural works. Others looked on Christ as the natural +result of the moral development of our race, like Bacon, Shakespeare, or +Baxter. They looked on miracles as impossible, and regarded all the +Bible accounts of supernatural events as fables. They were Deists. One +I found who declared his disbelief in a future life. There was a gradual +incline from the almost Christian doctrine of Carpenter and Channing, +down to the principles of Deism and Atheism. + +While in London I became acquainted with Dr. Bowring, afterwards Sir +John Bowring. He was one of my hearers at Stamford Street Chapel, and +complimented me, after the sermon, by calling me the modern John Bunyan. +He had been pleased with the simplicity of my style, and the familiar +and striking character of my illustrations. He invited me to his house, +showed me a multitude of curiosities, which he had collected in his +travels round the world, made me a present of part of a skull which he +had taken from an Egyptian Pyramid--the skull of a prince, who, he said, +had lived in the days of Joseph,--he also made me a present of his +works, including five volumes of translations from the Poets of Russia, +Hungary, and other countries, and some works connected with his own +eventful history. Dr. Bowring was a member of Parliament, and he took me +to the House of Commons, introduced me to a number of the members, got +me into the House of Lords, and did all in his power to make my stay in +London as pleasant as possible. + +Another London gentleman who was very kind was Dr. Bateman, the Queen's +Assistant Solicitor of Excise. He took me to several assemblies, at one +of which, besides a number of the great ones of the land, I was +introduced to a New Zealand chief, a strong-built, broad-set, +large-headed, lion-looking man. It was hinted that he knew the taste of +human flesh, and was probably thinking at that moment, what rich +contributions some of the youthful and well-fed parties who were paying +their respects to him, would make to a New Zealand feast. At one of +those assemblies there was a tremendous crowd, and I lost my hat, and +some body else must have lost his, for I got a magnificent and +strange-shaped head-cover, that might have distinguished, if not +adorned, the greatest magnate of the land. + +Dr. Bateman and Dr. Bowring showed me kindness in other ways, obtaining +for me and my friends large grants of books, contributing to the fund +for the purchase of a steam press to be presented to me, and inducing a +number of their friends to contribute. I was also introduced to Dr. +Hutton, minister of Carter Lane Chapel, and preached and lectured in his +pulpit. And I visited the meeting-place of the Free-thinking Christians, +was introduced to the leading members of the society, and was presented +with their publications. I preached at Hackney Chapel, where I had +William and Mary Howitt as hearers, who were introduced to me after the +sermon, invited me to spend some time at their house, showed me the +greatest possible kindness, and did as much as good and kind people +could do to make my stay in London a pleasure never to be forgotten. + +A meeting was called in the Assembly room of the Crown and Anchor, or +the city of London Tavern, to give me a public welcome to London, and a +great number, the principal part, I suppose, of the London Unitarians +met me there, to give me a demonstration of their respect and good +wishes. I spoke, and my remarks were very favorably received; and so +many and kind were the friends that gathered round me, and so strange +and gratifying the position in which I found myself, that I seemed in +another world. The contrast was so great between the treatment to which +I had so long been accustomed in the New Connexion, and the +long-continued and flattering ovation I was receiving from so large a +multitude of the most highly cultivated people in the country, that if I +had lost my senses amid the delightful excitement it could have been no +matter for wonder. + +But it was more than I was able to enjoy. I longed for quiet. I wanted +to be at home with my wife and children, and in the society of my less +distinguished, but older and more devoted friends. I fear I hardly +showed myself thankful enough for the honor done me, or made the returns +to my new friends to which they were entitled. They must have thought me +rather cool in private; but they knew that I had been bred a Methodist, +a plain Methodist, and had lived and moved among Methodists of the +plainer kind, and never before been fairly outside the Methodist world. +And some of them knew that I had not much time for pleasure-taking, +sight-seeing, and the current kind of chat, or even the multiplication +of new friends and acquaintances. They knew too that I had a business +which required my attention, and a vast quantity of letters to answer, +and parties calling for my help in almost every part of the country. + +I was happy at length to find myself at liberty to leave the metropolis, +and my many new, agreeable and generous friends and acquaintances there, +and return to quieter and calmer scenes, and more customary occupations, +in the country. + +But I never was permitted to confine myself within my old circle of +acquaintances, and my old sphere of labor, after my visit to London. +Accounts of my London meetings were given in the Unitarian newspapers +and periodicals, and spread abroad through the whole country. The result +was, I received invitations to preach and lecture from almost every town +of importance throughout the kingdom, and from many places that were not +of so much importance; and many of those invitations I was induced to +accept. I visited Bristol, and had a welcome there as gratifying and +almost as flattering as my London one. I was introduced to all the +leading Unitarians there, and had a grand reception, and a course of +lectures in the largest and most splendid hall in the city. And the +place was crowded. I visited Bridgewater, Plymouth, Exeter, and +Tavistock, with like results. And then I had calls to Yarmouth, Lynn, +Bridport, Northampton, Taunton, Birmingham, Sheffield, Hull, Manchester, +Liverpool, Bolton, Stockton, and other places without number. And +everywhere I found myself in very agreeable society, and in every place +I met with real, hearty, and generous friends. It is true I met with +some who had little of religion but the name; but I met with others, and +that in considerable numbers, who really feared and loved God, and who +were heartily desirous to promote a living practical Christianity among +their neighbors. These were delighted to see and hear a man who, while +he held to a great extent their own religious views, was full of +Methodistical zeal and energy, and who had power to attract, and +interest, and move the masses of the people. They regarded me as an +Apostle of their faith. They believed the millennium of enlightened and +liberal Christianity was at hand. They hearkened to my counsels, and set +to work to distribute tracts, to improve their schools, to establish new +ones, to organize city missions, to employ local preachers, and to +circulate books of a popular and rousing character. And both they and I +believed that a great and lasting revival of pure unadulterated religion +was at hand. And it took some time to dissipate these pleasant hopes, +and throw the well disposed and more pious part of the Unitarians down +into the depths of despondency again. But the melancholy period arrived +at length. + +You cannot kindle a fire and keep it burning in the depths of the sea. +And it is as hard to revive a dead or dying church, especially when its +ministers and schools are supported by old endowments, and when many of +its most influential members have caught the infection of infidelity, +and become mere selfish, flesh-pleasing worldlings. + +And this was the case with Unitarians. Many of the trustees, and a +considerable portion of the wealthier members, cared nothing for +religion. Others had no regard for anything about Christianity but the +name and a little of the form. Some had such a hatred of what they +called Methodist fanaticism, that they shrank from any manifestation of +religious life or earnestness. And they had such a horror of cant, that +they canted on the other side. Their talk about religion was little else +but cant. Their talk about cant itself was cant. They had quite a +dislike of any thing like religious zeal, and had a dread of any one who +had been a Methodist, especially if he retained any of his Methodistical +earnestness. The word unction was a term of reproach, and the rich, +invaluable treasure for which it stood was an offence. They wished to +enjoy themselves in a quiet, easy, self-indulgent, fashionable way, and +have just so much of the form and appearance of religion as was +requisite to a first class worldly reputation. They had no desire to be +regarded as skeptics or unbelievers; that would have been as bad as to +have been reputed Methodists; but they would have nothing to do with any +schemes or efforts for the revival of religious feeling in their +churches, or with any interference with the customary habits or quiet +worldliness of their peaceable neighbors. Some, and in certain districts +many, even of the poorer members, were utterly indifferent, and in some +cases even opposed, to any religion. In some cases both rich and poor +had become grossly immoral. Their churches had degenerated into eating +and drinking clubs. The endowments were spent in periodical feasts. +There were also cases in which the chapel and school endowments had +fallen into the hands of individuals or families, who looked on them and +used them very much as private property. The schools and congregations +had disappeared, and even the chapels and school-houses were rapidly +hastening to ruin. + +And there was everywhere a tendency downward from the Christian to the +infidel level. If churches do not labor for the conversion of the world, +and endeavor to become themselves more Christ-like and godly, +degeneracy, and utter degradation and ruin are inevitable. And the +tendency, at the time to which I refer, throughout the whole little +world of Unitarianism was downwards to utter unbelief. In many minds +there was as much impatience with old-fashioned moderate Unitarianism, +as with old-fashioned Christianity or Methodism. They wanted preachers +who would openly assail the doctrine of the divine or special +inspiration of the Bible, and the supernatural origin of Christianity, +and try to bring people down or up to the pagan or infidel level of mere +sense and reason. + +The Unitarians required no profession of faith; so that deists and +atheists had the same title to membership as believers in Christ. They +administered the Lord's Supper, but they had no church discipline, so +that people defiled with the filthiest vices had the same right to +communicate as people of the rarest virtues. Even the ministers were not +required to make any profession of faith, so that deists and atheists +were admitted, not only into the churches, but into the pulpits. + +I was not aware of these things when I first became identified with the +Body. It is possible that the Body was not so corrupt at that time as it +was after. Any way, at the time of my return from infidelity to +Christianity, both deists and atheists were among the ministers. If any +find it hard to believe these things, let them read my pamphlet on +Unitarianism, where they will find testimony from leading Unitarians +themselves, to the truth of these statements. + +Whatever encouragement therefore certain portions of the Unitarian Body +might give to a man like me, the influence of the Body generally was +sure to render my labors of little or no avail. If the more religious +portion of the ministers and members had been willing to come out from +the Body, and leave their old-fashioned buildings and endowments behind +them, they might have done some good; but this they were not prepared to +do. Many even of the better class of Unitarian ministers were fond of a +quiet literary life. They were students, scholars, and gentlemen, rather +than preachers and apostles. They were too good to be where they were, +and yet not robust, and daring, and energetic enough to make their way +into more useful positions. And their style of preaching was not +popular. It never would have moved the masses. Indeed much of it would +have been unintelligible to the kind of people who crowded to my +meetings. They could not therefore have moved into my sphere without +exposing themselves to want. If some one could have gone and helped them +in their own work, in their own spheres, it might have answered for +them; but it would not have answered for them to come out and battle +with the rude, coarse, outside world. And even if good, earnest +ministers had gone to their aid, it would have caused a rupture and +division in the church. + +My labors therefore could do little more than rouse the better portion +of the Body to a temporary zeal and activity, and transfer a number of +my friends to their communion. + +And I and my friends were out of our place, and out of our element, in +their society. The earnest words we spoke were not 'like fire among dry +stubble;' but like sparks falling into the water. Instead of us kindling +them, they extinguished us. The 'strong man armed' who had got +possession of the Unitarian House, was _too_ strong to be overpowered +and cast out by anything short of a miracle of Omnipotence. And that was +out of the question. Christ can save individuals, but not churches. To +members of a dead or depraved church his words are, 'Come out of her, my +people.' And there was, and there is, no revival, no salvation, for +Unitarians, but by their abandonment of the Unitarian fellowship, and +their return to Christ as individuals. So you may guess what followed. I +had got where it was impossible for me to do others much good, even if I +had been better myself, and where it was impossible for me to prevent +others from doing me most serious harm. I was on an inclined plane, +tending ever downward, with all surrounding influences calculated to +render my descent every day more rapid. + +Down this inclined plane I gradually slid, till I reached at length the +land of doubt and unbelief. My descent was very slow. It took me several +years to pass from the more moderate to the more extravagant forms of +Unitarianism. + +When I first read the works of Dr. Channing, though I was delighted +beyond measure with many portions of his writings, I had a great dislike +for some of his remarks about Christ and the Atonement. And when I first +resolved to publish an edition of his works, I intended to add notes, +with a view to neutralize the tendency of his objectionable views; but +by the time I got his works into the press, those views appeared +objectionable no longer. + +I still however regarded portions of Theodore Parker's works with +horror. His rejection of miracles, and of the supernatural origin of +Christianity, seemed inexcusable. And many a time was I shocked while +reading his "_Discourse on Matters pertaining to Religion_," by the +contemptuous manner in which he spoke of portions of the sacred +Scriptures. I was enchanted with many parts of the book; but how a man +of so much learning, and with such amazing powers, and with so much love +and admiration of Christ, and God, and goodness, could go to such +extremes seemed a mystery. And I resolved, that if ever I published an +edition of _his_ works, I would add a refutation of his revolting +extravagances. Yet time, and intercourse with the more advanced +Unitarians, brought me, in a few years, to look on Parker as my model +man. + +When I first heard an Unitarian say, "Supernaturalism is superstition," +I gave him to understand that I did not feel easy in his company. "You +are right," said Dr. Bateman, "Pay no regard to such extreme views: +preach your own old-fashioned practical doctrines." This made me feel +more at ease. Yet the gentleman who spoke to me thus, as I afterwards +found, was himself on anti-supernaturalist. But he saw that I had to be +dealt with carefully,--that I was not to be hurried or argued, but led +gently and unconsciously, into ultra views. This was the gentleman that +busied himself more than any other in obtaining subscriptions towards +the steam press. He professed to like my supernatural beliefs much +better than the anti-supernatural views of the extremer portion of his +brethren. And perhaps he _did_ like them better, though he had lost the +power to believe them himself. But whether he liked them or not, he won +my confidence, and gained an influence over me, which an honest avowal +of his opinions, and especially an open attempt to induce me to accept +them, would have rendered it impossible for him to gain. + +Strange as it may seem, I still retained many of my old methodistical +habits, and tastes, and sensibilities. My mind was still imbued to a +considerable extent with true religious feeling. My head had changed +faster than my heart. And I still took delight in reading a number of my +old religious books. And I had no disposition to indulge myself in +worldly amusements. I could not be induced to go to a theatre, or even +to a concert. I would not play at draughts or chess. I hated cards. And +all this time I held myself prepared to defend, in public discussion, +what I considered to be the substance of Christianity. An arrangement +was actually made for a public debate on Christianity about this time, +between me and Mr. Holyoake. It was to take place at Halifax, and I +attended at the time, and stated my views in two lectures; but Mr. +Holyoake did not attend. He was prevented from doing so by illness, it +was said. + +Some of the publications which I issued about this time, in reply to one +sent forth by the Rev. W. Cooke, led to a public discussion between me +and that gentleman, in the Lecture-room, Newcastle-on-Tyne. Mr. Cooke +was a minister--the ablest minister--in the Body to which I myself had +formerly belonged. The list of subjects for debate included the +following:--"What is a Christian? What is the Scripture doctrine with +regard to the Atonement? What is Saving Faith? What do the Scriptures +teach with regard to Original Sin, or Natural Depravity, The Trinity, +The Divinity of Christ, The Hired Ministry, and Future Punishment?" + +The discussion lasted ten nights, and every night the room was crowded +to its utmost capacity. The excitement was intense. And it pervaded the +whole country. There were persons present from places nearly two +hundred miles distant. Hugh Miller, the Scotch geologist, was there one +night. As usual, both parties considered themselves victorious. And both +were right. Neither the truth nor the error was all on one side; nor was +the argument. Christianity was something different from the creed of +either party, and something more and better. It was more and better than +the creeds of both parties put together. My opponent, though something +of a Christian, was more of a theologian. He was committed to a system, +and could not see beyond it, or dared not accept any views at variance +with its doctrines. Hence he went in direct opposition to the plainest +teachings of the Scriptures, and the clearest dictates of common sense. +He found it necessary also, to spend a portion of his time in foolish +criticisms on Greek and Hebrew words, and in efforts to make the worse +appear the better reason. As for myself, I was committed to change. I +was travelling downwards at the time, at a rather rapid rate, and was +not to be turned back, or even made to slacken my pace. The ordinary +kind of theological vanities I regarded with the utmost contempt, and I +had come to look on some portions even of Christ's own teachings as +nothing more than doubtful human opinions. I held to the great +foundation truths of religion, and to the general principles of +Christian truth and duty, and, I will not say, defended them, for they +needed no defence beyond their own manifest reasonableness and +excellence,--but stated them both with sufficient clearness and fulness. +But neither party was in a state of mind to learn from the other. War, +whether it be a war of words, or a war of deadlier weapons, tends +generally to widen the differences and increase the antipathies of the +combatants. And so it was here. And one party certainly went further and +travelled faster in the way of error after this exciting contest than he +had done before. + +And greater extremes produced more bitterness of feeling in my +opponents. One man wished me dead, and said to a near relation of mine, +"If there was a rope round his neck, and I had hold of it, I would hang +him myself." And this was a man remarkable, in general, for his meekness +and gentleness. Another said he "should like to _stick_ me:" but _he_ +was a butcher. Another person, a woman, said, "Hanging would be too +good for him: hell is not bad enough for him." There was one even among +my relations that would not speak to me; a relation that before had +regarded me with pride. At some places where I was announced to lecture, +men organized and plotted to do me bodily injury, and in some cases they +threatened me with death. On more than one occasion I had narrow escapes +with my life. Once I was struck on the head with a brick, which almost +took away my consciousness, and came near putting an end to my life. On +another occasion I was hunted by a furious mob for hours, and had +repeated hair-breadth escapes from their violence. One man advocated my +assassination in a newspaper, and the editor inserted the article, and +quietly gave it his sanction. + +All this was natural, but it was not Christian, nor was it wise. "The +wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." Hard bricks have no +tendency to soften a man's heart. These attempts to force me into +submission made me more rebellious. They roused my indignation to the +highest pitch, and fearfully increased my hatred of the churches and +their creeds, and made me feel as if I ought to wage against my +persecutors an unsparing and eternal war. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE BIBLE QUESTION. INSPIRATION, INFALLIBILITY. HISTORY OF MY VIEWS ON +THE SUBJECT. + + +A PRAYER. + +Help me, O Thou Great Good Father of my spirit, in the work on which I +am now about to enter. Enable me, on the great and solemn subject on +which I am now to speak, to separate the true from the false, the +doubtful from the certain, the important from the unimportant. And may I +be enabled to make all plain. And save me, O my Father, from going too +far. Let me not run to any extreme. Yet enable me to go far enough. May +I not, through needless fear, or through any evil motive, be kept from +speaking anything that ought to be said. I am Thine, O my God; use me +according to Thy will, for the service of Thy Church, and for the +welfare of the world. I am every moment accountable to Thee; help me so +to speak that I may be at peace with my own soul, and have a sweet +assurance of Thy approbation. Fill my soul, O my Father, with the spirit +of love, of truth, of tenderness, and of all goodness. Guide Thou my +pen, and control my spirit. Grant that I may so write, that I may do +some good and no harm. May Thy people endeavor to do justice to what I +say. If any one, through error or evil disposition, should do me wrong, +help me to bear the trial with Christian meekness and patience. And may +the time at length come, when the religion of Christ, so full of truth +and love, shall be understood and embraced by all mankind, and when by +its blessed and transforming power the earth shall become the abode of +purity, and love, and bliss. AMEN. + + * * * * * + +It may not be amiss to state now, how far I had gone at this time, with +regard to my views on the Bible. + +1. I remember a time, when I believed that the Bible in which my father +read, came down direct from God out of heaven, just as it was. I looked +on it as simply and purely divine. + +2. I afterwards learnt that the Bible was printed on earth, and that it +was a translation from other books which had been written in Greek and +Hebrew. + +3. But I still supposed that the Greek and Hebrew Bible was wholly +divine, and that the translation was as perfect as the original. + +4. I next learned that the translation was _not_ perfect,--that the +translators were sometimes in doubt as to the meaning of the original, +and put one meaning in the body of the page, and another in the +margin,--that in other cases they had misunderstood the original, and +given erroneous translations. I sometimes heard preachers correcting the +translation of passages, and when I came to read commentaries and other +theological works, I found the authors doing the same thing. + +5. I then found that there were several translations of the Scriptures, +one by Wesley, one by Campbell, and others by other men, and that they +all differed from each other, and that none of them could be regarded as +wholly correct. When I read the Notes of Adam Clarke on the Bible, I +found that he often differed from all the translators, and that in some +cases he differed from them very widely. + +6. I still supposed that the originals were perfect; that in them we had +the words of God just as they came from His own mind. + +7. But I afterwards found that there were several originals,--or at +least several Greek and Hebrew Bibles,--and that they also differed from +each other to some extent, and that none of them could be said to be +entirely free from error. + +8. I learnt from Adam Clarke and others that the printed Greek and +Hebrew Bibles had been compiled from _manuscripts_,--or from Bibles, or +portions of the Bible, written by the hand, before the art of printing +was known. + +9. I also found that those manuscripts differed from each other, in a +great many places, and that in some cases they differed on points +supposed to be of considerable importance, and that it was impossible to +tell which of the manuscripts were most correct. + +10. I also learnt, that all existing manuscripts were copies of other +manuscripts, and that the real original books, the books written by +Moses and the Prophets, and by the Evangelists and Apostles, were all +lost, so that it was impossible to tell, with absolute certainty, +whether any of the manuscripts were absolutely correct,--that when the +best and ablest men on earth had done their utmost, there would still be +room for doubt as to the true reading, as well as to the correct +meaning, of various portions of Scripture. + +11. I next learned that there were differences of opinion among critics +and divines as to whether certain books ought to have a place in the +Bible or not. In my father's Bible there were several books called the +Apocrypha. Some of these were very interesting. I used to read them with +a great deal of pleasure. And large portions of others, especially those +called _The Wisdom of Solomon_, and _Ecclesiasticus_, seemed as good, as +true, and as beautiful as anything in the Book of Proverbs. My parents +however told me, that those books were not to be put on a level with +the other books of the Bible,--that there was some mystery about their +origin, and that there was some doubt whether they were really a part of +the word of God. + +12. I afterwards learnt though, that they were regarded as part of God's +word by the Catholics, and I continued to read large portions of them +with much satisfaction and profit. + +13. I also learnt from Adam Clarke and others, that there had been +doubts in the minds of some of the ancient Christians with regard to the +right of some of the Epistles and of the Book of Revelation to be +admitted as parts of the Bible. And I afterwards found that the Book of +Revelation was excluded from the Bible by the Greek Church, and by +Luther as well:--and that Luther had but little regard for the Epistle +of James, one of the finest portions of the whole Bible as I thought. + +14. I further learnt that some had doubts as to the right of Solomon's +Song to a place in the Bible, and I found that even Adam Clarke did not +believe that it had any spiritual meaning. + +All these were facts; and I learned them all from Christian authors of +the highest repute for learning and piety. And so long as things went on +smoothly, they had not, so far as I can remember, any injurious effect +on my mind. But when, after having been harassed for years by the +intolerance of my brethren, I was expelled from the ministry and the +church, and finally placed in a hostile position with regard to the +great body of Christians and Christian ministers, I began to see, that +those facts were incompatible with the views and theories of the divine +inspiration and absolute perfection of the Bible held by my opponents. I +came very slowly to see this, and after I saw it I was slow to speak on +the subject in my publications; but the time to see and to speak arrived +at length. + +One of my New Connection opponents, by repeated charges of infidelity, +and by statements about the Scriptures which I knew he could not +maintain, got me into controversy on the subject. Then I uttered all +that was in my mind. I showed that many of the things which he had said +about the Bible were not true,--that they were inconsistent with plain +unquestionable facts,--with facts acknowledged by all the divines on +earth of any consequence, and known even to himself and his brethren. + +While engaged in this controversy I made discoveries of other facts +inconsistent with the views of my persecutors, and pressed them upon my +opponent without mercy. And the violent and resentful feeling excited by +his unfairness, dishonesty and malignity in defending the Bible, led me +probably to be less concerned for its claims than I otherwise should +have been. Suffice it to say, I came out of the debate with my savage +opponent, not a disbeliever in the Bible or Christianity, but with views +farther removed from those which he contended for, and with feelings +much less hostile to heterodox extremes perhaps than those with which I +entered it. + +Among the views I was led to entertain and promulgate with regard to the +Bible about this time, were the following. + +1. We have no proof that the different portions of the Bible were +absolutely perfect as they came from the hands of the writers. The +probability is on the other side. For if an absolutely perfect book had +been necessary for man, it would have been as necessary to _keep_ it +perfect, as to _make_ it perfect. And as God has not seen fit to _keep_ +it perfect, we have no reason to suppose that He made it so. + +2. But in truth, to write an absolutely perfect book in an imperfect +language, is impossible. And all human languages are imperfect. The +Hebrew language, in which the greater part of the Bible was written, is +very imperfect. And it seems to have been much more imperfect in those +times when the Bible was written, than it is now. And the Greek +language, in which the remainder of the Bible was written, was +imperfect. And the Greek used in the New Testament is not the best +Greek;--it is not the Greek of the Classics. + +3. And both Greek and Hebrew now are _dead_ languages, and have been so +for many ages. This renders them more imperfect in some respects: it +makes it harder in many cases to ascertain the sense in which words, and +particular forms of expression, are used by the writers. With regard to +the Hebrew, we have no other books in that language, written in those +early ages when the different parts of the Bible were written, to +assist us in ascertaining the sense in which words were used. + +4. The writers of Scripture differ very much from one another both in +style and matter, and their works differ greatly in worth and +usefulness. Ezekiel is much more obscure than Jeremiah; and Jeremiah is +less plain than Isaiah. Many of the figures, and some of the visions of +Ezekiel, seem coarse, and some of them appear unintelligible. And the +matter of many parts of Ezekiel's prophecies seems inferior to that of +the prophecies of Jeremiah and Isaiah. Some portions of Ezekiel are very +valuable; they are good and useful to the last degree. But other +portions, whatever value they might have for persons of former times and +other lands, have none, that I can see, for us. + +5. Some portions of Jeremiah, and even of Isaiah, appear to have little +that is calculated to be of use in the present day. Indeed some portions +seem unintelligible. But many portions of the writings of both those +prophets abound in the most touching, startling, and useful lessons. + +6. And so with Daniel and the minor prophets. The darkness and the +light, and things more useful and things less useful, are mingled in +them all. + +7. It is the same with the New Testament. Some portions of Paul's +writings are as plain as they well can be; others are very obscure, +perhaps quite unintelligible. Some passages in the controversial +portions of his Epistles to the Romans and the Galatians, and +considerable parts of the Epistle to the Hebrews, are dark as night to +many; and I fear that those who think they understand them, are under a +delusion. And as portions of these Epistles were wrested by the +unlearned and unconfirmed in Peter's time, so have they been mistaken +for lessons in moral laxity since. And still they are used by many as +props for immoral and blasphemous doctrines. + +8. And what shall we say of the Book of Revelation? Adam Clarke thought +he understood it as well as any one, yet acknowledged that he did not +understand it at all. And though there are several passages that are +both plain and practical, and many that are most wondrously and +sublimely poetical, and some few that are rich both in truth and +tenderness, yet, as a whole, the Book is exceedingly, if not +impenetrably, dark. + +9. Some portions of the Old Testament history are given twice over, as +in the Books of Kings and Chronicles, and the two accounts, in some +cases, seem to be irreconcilable with each other. The numbers often +differ, and some of them seem altogether too large. The accounts agree +well enough, and the statements are credible enough, as a rule, on +matters of great importance; but on smaller matters there are many plain +discrepancies. + +Some other portions of the Bible, including two or three of the Psalms, +are given twice over. + +10. Then who that reads the Proverbs attentively can help seeing, that +some of them are much plainer, and calculated to be much more useful, +than others. Many of them are rich in wisdom and goodness beyond +measure; but others appear to have neither much of beauty, nor much of +utility. + +11. And the Psalms are not all of equal excellence. Some contain +terrible outpourings of hatred and vengeance. Many contain fierce and +resentful expressions. And though these things were excusable in early +times, and were, in fact, not wicked, but only a lower form of virtue, +we cannot but feel their great inferiority to the teachings and spirit +of Jesus. But taken as a whole, the Psalms are miracles of beauty and +sublimity, of tenderness and majesty, of purity and piety, of wisdom and +righteousness. They are a heaven of bright constellations; a world of +glory and blessedness. + +12. The Book of Job too is a mixture, and to some extent a mystery, but +it would be a great loss to the world if it were to perish. The +twenty-ninth and thirty-first chapters are worth the whole literature of +infidel philosophy a hundred times over. And many other portions of the +book are 'gems of purest ray serene,' and treasures of incalculable +value. + +13. And even the Book of Ecclesiastes, while it contains many things of +a strange, a dark, and a doubtful character, has many oracles of wisdom +and piety. It contains lessons of wonderful beauty, and of great +solemnity and power. + +14. There is a vast amount of wisdom and goodness in the laws of Moses. +I say nothing of the laws that are merely ceremonial: but there are +lessons of great importance mixed up even with them at times. Take those +about the Nazarites. Most of them are beautiful, excellent; and well +would it be if people even in our days would accept them as rules for +their own conduct. + +Then take the laws which forbid the use of wine and strong drink to the +ministering priests. They are wonderfully wise. + +And even the laws about the different kinds of beasts, and birds, and +fishes, that were allowed or forbidden as food, are, on the whole, +remarkably philosophical. Considering the time when they were given, and +the people for whom they were intended, and the ends for which they were +designed, the laws of Moses generally, are worthy of the highest praise. + +15. But Judaism is not Christianity. That which was the best for the +Jews three thousand years ago, was not the best for all mankind through +all the ages of time. Compared with the religions and laws of +surrounding nations, and of preceding ages, Judaism was glorious,--but +compared with Christianity it is no longer glorious. Judaism compared +with Paganism, was a wonder of wisdom, philosophy, and righteousness; +but compared with Christianity it is a mass of rudiments, first lessons, +beggarly elements. + +Hence several things contained in the law of Moses are repealed or +forbidden by Christ; still more are quietly dropped and left behind; +while other portions are developed, expanded, and exalted. + +All these things, and a multitude of other things, have to be taken into +account, if we would form a correct and proper estimate of the Bible. +All these, and quite a multitude of other matters, should be borne in +mind when we are considering in what terms to speak of the Book, and in +what way to qualify our commendations of its contents. I do not believe +it possible to praise the Bible too highly; but nothing is easier than +to praise it unwisely, untruly. You cannot love or prize the Bible too +much; but you may err as to what constitutes its worth. You cannot +over-estimate its beneficent power; but you may make mistakes as to the +parts or properties of the book in which its strength lies. A child can +hardly value gold or silver too highly, but he makes a great mistake +when he fancies their great excellency to consist in the brightness of +their colors. And so with regard to the Bible. Its best friends and its +ablest eulogists can never think or speak of it beyond its real worth; +but they may fancy its worth to consist in qualities of secondary +importance, or in a kind or form of perfection which it does not +possess. + +The enemies of the Bible often speak evil of it ignorantly, from the +mere force of bad example, as parrots curse: and the friends of the +Bible often speak well of it ignorantly, as parrots pray. They know, +they feel, they are sure, that the Bible is good,--that it does them +good,--that it purifies their souls,--that it improves their +characters,--that it makes them cheerful, joyful, useful, happy. Yet all +the time they fancy, because they have been erroneously taught, that the +blessed volume owes its comforting, transforming, and glorious power to +some metaphysical nicety, or to some unreal or impossible kind of +perfection. + +When Christians attribute the sanctifying, elevating, comforting power +of the Bible to the fact that it is divinely inspired, they are right. +But many do not stop there. They suppose that divine inspiration has +given the Book certain grammatical, rhetorical, logical, historical, +scientific and metaphysical qualities which it has _not_ given it, and +they even attribute its superior worth and saving power to those +imaginary qualities. + +It was against the mistakes and mis-statements of my opponents that I +first wrote, and it was their ignorance, or their want of honesty and +candor, that gave me at times the advantage over them in our debates on +the subject. It was for want of seeing things in their proper light, and +putting them in their proper shape before their hearers and readers, +that made their efforts to keep people from doubt and unbelief +unavailing. They, in truth, made unbelief or infidelity to consist in +something in which it did not consist, and made people think they were +infidels when they were no such thing. If they had given up all that was +erroneous with regard to the Bible, and undertaken the defence of +nothing but what was true, they might both have convinced the honest +skeptic, and strengthened the faith of Christians. But they undertook to +defend the false, and to assail the true, and the consequence was, they +were beaten, and the cause which they sought to serve was injured. + +John Wesley says, that the way to drive the doctrine of Christian +perfection, or 'true holiness,' out of the world, is to place it too +high,--to make it consist in something that is beyond man's power. And +the way to drive the doctrine of the divine inspiration of the +Scriptures out of the world, is to give the doctrine a form which the +Scriptures themselves do not give it,--to change it from a truth into an +error,--to teach that divine inspiration produces effects which it does +not produce,--that it imparts qualities which it does not impart, and +which the Scriptures themselves do not exhibit. + +And this is what many defenders of the Bible do. And this is one great +cause both of the increase of infidelity, and of the confidence of its +disciples. + +It is impossible to prove the doctrine of the divine inspiration of the +Bible, as that doctrine is defined by many religious writers. It is not +true. And those who attempt to prove that the Bible is such a book, as +these false theological theories of divine inspiration would require it +to be, must always be beaten, in a fair fight, with an able and +well-informed infidel opponent. The man who contends that the Bible is +all that certain old theories of inspiration require it to be, fights +against plain facts, and even his friends will often see and feel that +he has not succeeded. He may say a many fine things, a many good things, +a many great things, a many glorious things about the Bible, and they +may all be true: and he may say a many bad things, a many horrible +things against infidelity, and they too may be true. And his friends may +see and feel that, on the whole, he is substantially right, and that the +infidel is essentially wrong. They may see and feel that on the +Christian side is all that is good, and true, and holy; and that on the +infidel side is a world of darkness and depravity, of horror and +despair. Still, on the one definite point, 'Is the Bible divinely +inspired according to the theory of divine inspiration laid down by +certain theologians,' the Christian will be beaten out and out,--he will +not only be confuted, but confounded, dishonored, and utterly routed. +The Bible and Christianity will receive an undeserved wound, and +infidelity will have an undeserved triumph; and many a poor young man +whose leanings were towards the Bible, and who would have liked its +advocate to triumph, will be disheartened, distressed, embarrassed, +distracted, and perhaps undone. + +The true doctrine of Scripture inspiration, or of Scripture authority, +is about as applicable to the common version, and to honest Christian +translations generally, and to all the manuscripts, and to all the +printed Greek and Hebrew Bibles, as it would be to the lost originals if +they could be recovered. There is divine inspiration enough in the +poorest translation of the Scriptures, and in the most imperfect Greek +and Hebrew transcript of them ever made, to place the Bible above all +the books on earth, as a means of enlightening, regenerating, +comforting, and saving mankind. But in none of its forms is the Bible so +inspired, as to make it what the unauthorized, fanciful, impossible +theories of certain dreamy, or proud, presumptuous, and overbearing +theologians require it to be. + +I have seen twenty or thirty definitions of Scripture +INSPIRATION all of which betray the Bible into the hands of its +adversaries. And it is no use expecting to convert skeptics, till those +definitions are set aside, and better, truer ones put in their place. We +ourselves pay no regard to these definitions. They are merely human +fictions. They have no warrant from Scripture, and we cannot allow +ourselves to be hampered with them. + +The passage in the New Testament which speaks of the Holy Scriptures of +the Old Testament as divinely inspired, gives us no definition of divine +inspiration. It says, 'All Scripture given by inspiration of God is +profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in +righteousness, tending to make the man of God perfect, thoroughly +furnished unto all good works:' but it goes no further. It does not say +that all Scripture given by inspiration of God will be written in a +superhuman language, or in a superhuman style. Nor does it say that all +its allusions to natural things will be perfectly correct; that all the +stories which it tells will be told in a superhuman way. Nor does it say +that all the precepts, and all the institutions, and all the +revelations, and all the examples of the Book will be up to the level +of absolute perfection. What the passage _does_ say of such Scriptures +as are given by inspiration of God, is true of the Old Testament +writings as a whole, and still truer of the New Testament writings: they +_are_ profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for +instruction in righteousness; and they are adapted to make men perfect, +thoroughly furnished unto all good works. All this you can prove. But +you cannot prove that they answer to the definitions of divine +inspiration so often given in books of theology. + +There is another passage in the New Testament which says that +'Whatsoever things were written aforetime, were written for our +learning, that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might +have hope.' This too is true of the Old Testament writings as a whole; +but it gives no countenance to the definitions of Scripture inspiration +given by dreamy theologians. + +Peter says that 'holy men of old spake as they were moved by the Holy +Spirit;' but he does not say that everything spoken or written by holy +men, when moved by the Holy Spirit, would answer to some human dream of +absolute perfection. He does not say that the holy men, when moved to +speak by the Holy Spirit, would cease to be men, or even be free from +all the imperfections or misconceptions of their age and nation, and +speak as if they had become at once perfect in the knowledge of natural +philosophy, or of common history, or even on every point pertaining to +religion. They might speak as moved by the Holy Spirit, and yet utter +divine oracles in an imperfect human language, and in a defective human +style, and even use illustrations based on erroneous conceptions of +natural facts and historical events. + +A man moved to speak by the Holy Spirit would not exhort people to be +idle or heedless; he would urge them to be industrious and prudent: but +in enforcing his exhortation to those virtues by a reference to the ANT, +he might give proof that his knowledge of the ANT was not perfect,--that +his ideas of its ways were not in every little point correct. + +A man full of the Holy Spirit, and especially a man who had received of +its influences without measure, would be sure to exhort men to be very +wise and very harmless; but he might use a form of words in his +exhortation which had originated in the misconception that serpents were +wiser than any other animals, and that doves were more harmless than any +other birds. Yet the exhortation would be good in substance; and even +the form, being in accordance with the views prevailing in his times, +would be unobjectionable; and both would be consistent with the fullest +inspiration of the Holy Spirit. + +A great, good man, speaking under divine impulse, urging his son in the +Gospel to resist false and immoral teachers, might say, 'Now as Jannes +and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth; but +their folly shall be made manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.' +Whether the men who withstood Moses were really called Jannes and +Jambres or not, I do not know. The Old Testament does not say they were. +The probability is, that Paul rested his illustration on a Jewish +tradition. But as the tradition was received as true by his people, his +lesson was just as good as if it had rested on some unquestionable fact +stated in authentic history. + +And so with regard to illustrations and incidental statements and +allusions generally. Though they may rest on misconceptions, the moral +lessons and spiritual revelations into the service of which they are +pressed, may be God's own oracles, and the book in which they appear +may, as a whole, be given by divine inspiration, and be profitable for +teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in +righteousness, and conducive to all the great and desirable ends so dear +to God. + +There is no such thing as absolute perfection with regard to books. +There is no authorized standard, no test, no measure of absolute +perfection for books; and if there were, no man could apply it. Of a +thousand different books each may be perfect in its way, yet none of +them be absolutely perfect. Each may have some great good end in view, +and be adapted to answer that end; and that is the only perfection of +which a book admits. And it is perfection enough. + +And this perfection the Bible has. It has the best, the highest, the +most glorious objects in view, and it is adapted to accomplish those +objects; and that is sufficient. They that undertake to prove that it +has any other perfection, will fail, and both bring discredit on +themselves, and suspicion on the Bible. The Bible may be more grievously +wronged by unwise praise, than by unjust censure. + +Absolutely perfect books and teachers are not necessary to our +instruction and welfare. We can learn all we need to know, and all we +need to do, from books and teachers that are _not_ perfect. We have no +absolutely perfect books on Grammar, Rhetoric, or Logic. Yet men learn +those sciences readily enough when they study them heartily and +diligently. We have no perfect systems of Arithmetic, Geometry, or +Algebra; of Geography, Astronomy, or Geology; of Anatomy, Physiology, or +Chemistry; of Botany, Natural History, or Physical Geography. Yet on all +those subjects men gather an immense amount of knowledge, make a +multitude of new discoveries, and arrive at a wonderful degree of +certainty. + +And so with arts and trades. We have no absolutely perfect teachers or +books in music, or painting, or sculpture; in farming, or manufactures, +or trade. Yet what wonderful proficients men become in those arts! We +have no perfect teachers of languages: yet any man with a taste for the +study of them, may learn twenty or thirty of them in a life-time. Even +indifferent books and teachers will enable a man who is bent on +learning, to master the most difficult language on earth. + +A man once asked me, 'Which is the best English Grammar?' My answer was, +'The first you come at. A poor one to-day is better than a good one +to-morrow. Begin your studies at once with the grammar you have; and you +will soon find out which is the best.' And so I say with regard to books +on other subjects. Make the best use you can of the books you have, and +you will soon come across better. And when you do come across them, you +will be all the better prepared to profit by them, than if you were to +waste your time in idleness till you can get hold of the best of all. +Besides; the book that is best for others, may not be the best for you. + +And if a man should ask me, 'Which is the best translation of the +Bible?' I would say, 'The first you come at. Read any, till you meet +with others. Then read many, and, using your common sense, judge for +yourself which is best. That which does most to make you a good, a +strong, a useful and a happy man is the best.' + +Some want books and teachers that will save them the trouble of study. +And there are none such. It would be a pity if there were. They would do +no good, but harm. Nothing strengthens and develops the mind like labor. +But if you had the best books possible they would not enable you to +acquire much useful knowledge, without close study, and vigorous mental +effort. + +I learned Greek with the worst Greek Grammar I ever saw; but when I had +learned the language tolerably, I found one of the best Greek Grammars +in the world, and went rapidly through it, and found that it had little +to add to the information I had gained already from the poorer one. + +And it is the same with regard to books on God, religion, and duty. +Books with numbers of defects,--with defects of style, defects of +arrangement, and even defects in matter, may teach you many useful +lessons, if you read and study them properly; and the best books on +earth will not teach you much if you read them carelessly. + +A great deal, almost every thing, depends on the spirit or the object +with which a man reads a good book. You may read the best books to +little profit, and you may get great good from very inferior ones. + +The Bible is the best religious and moral book on earth; it is, in its +most imperfect translations, able to make men wise, and good, and +useful, and happy to the last degree, if they will read and study it +properly. But there is not a better book on earth for making a man a +fool, if he comes to it with a vain mind, a proud spirit, a fulness of +self-conceit, or a wish to be a prophet. A desire to be a prater about +the millennium, the second coming of Christ, the personal reign, the +orders of angels, the ranks of devils, the secrets of God's counsels, +the hidden meaning of the badgers' skins, the shittim wood, the Urim and +Thummim, the Cherubim and Seraphim, the Teraphim and Anakim, and all the +imaginary meanings of imaginary types, and the place where Paradise was +situated, and the mountain peak on which the Ark rested, and Behemoth, +and Leviathan, and the spot at which the Israelites entered the Red Sea, +and the compass of Adam's knowledge before he named the animals, and the +fiery sword at the gate of Paradise, and the controversial parts of +Paul's epistles, and the mysteries of the Book of Revelation, and the +spiritual meaning of Solomon's Song, and the place where Satan had his +meeting with the sons of God in the days of Job, and the exact way in +which Job used the potsherd, when he scraped himself as he sat among the +ashes, &c., &c.,--I say if this is what a man desires, the Bible will +help him to his wish, and make him the laughing-stock, or the pity of +all sensible men. + +And if he employs the one hundred and fifty rules of Hartwell Horne for +misinterpreting the plain portions of the Bible, and his one hundred and +forty other rules for darkening his mind, and confounding his soul, the +Bible will ruin him still quicker. A better book for trying a man, and +for rewarding his honesty, and piety, and charity, if he has those +virtues, and for making them ever more; or for punishing a man's vanity, +and pride, and selfishness, and perversity, if he be the slave of such +passions, God could hardly have given. And to try and to bless men are +the two great objects of all God's revelations. + +My opponent was fond of saying that the Bible was an infallible guide. +The statement was not true in any strict and rigorous sense of the +words. And it was foolish for him to make it in an eager debate, for he +could never prove it. And he was not long in finding this out. A few +plain questions set him quite fast. The Bible is an infallible guide, +you say. We ask, Which Bible? The common version? No. John Wesley's +version? No. Dr. Conquest's? No. The Unitarian version? No. _Any_ +version? No. Is it some particular Greek or Hebrew Bible then? No. Is it +the manuscripts? No. But these are all the Bibles we have. + +The Bible is an infallible guide, you say. What to? Uniformity of +opinion? No. Uniformity of worship? No. Uniformity of life? No. +Uniformity of feeling, of affection, of effort? No. It does not even +require uniformity in those matters. It supposes diversity. It asks only +for sincerity, honesty, fidelity. But it is an infallible guide to all +truth and duty, you say. Has it guided you to all truth and duty? No. +Whom _has_ it guided to those blessed results? You cannot say. + +But it is an infallible guide to all that truth which is necessary to a +man's salvation, you say. But there is no particular amount of truth +that _is_ necessary to a man's salvation. The amount of truth necessary +to a man's salvation differs according to his powers and privileges. +That which is necessary to my salvation may not be necessary to the +salvation of a Pagan. It is sincerity in the search of truth, and +fidelity in reducing it to practice, which is necessary to a man's +salvation, and not the acquisition of some particular quantity of truth. + +The Bible is an infallible guide. To whom? To the Catholics? No. To the +Unitarians? No. To the Quakers? No. To the Church of England people? No. +To Methodists and Calvinists? No. + +That the Bible is a trusty guide enough, I have no doubt, if we will +faithfully and prayerfully follow it; but to talk as if it would guide +every one infallibly to exactly the same views, or to the fulness of all +truth, is not wise. It is not warranted either by the Bible itself, or +by facts. + +Besides, if a book is to guide a man infallibly, it must be made +perfectly plain; it must be infallibly interpreted. And where are the +infallible interpreters? We know of none that even profess to be such +outside the Church of Rome; and none but themselves and their own Church +members believe their professions. _You_ do not believe them. As a rule, +the claim of infallibility is taken as a proof that the man who makes it +is not only fallible, but something worse. + +But if we had infallible interpreters, they would not be able to keep us +from error, unless we had infallible hearts and infallible +understandings. And we have no such things. If we had, we should neither +need infallible books nor infallible interpreters. + +That the Bible is all that it _needs_ to be, and all that it _ought_ to +be, I am satisfied; but that it is all that some of its zealous +advocates _say_ it is, plain and unquestionable facts make it impossible +for any candid, unbiassed, and well-informed man to believe. + +We have all an infallible guide within us, if we be true Christians. For +the Spirit of God dwells in the hearts of all true disciples of Christ. +But the infallible guide does not make us all infallible followers. The +infallible teacher does not make us all infallible learners. We are +blessed with divine inspiration, but we are not converted into machines. +Inspiration does not make us absolutely perfect either in knowledge or +virtue, still less does it make us perfect all at once. We shall learn +enough, and we shall learn fast enough, if we are faithful; but we shall +never be perfect or infallible in our knowledge in this world. + +As the subject of Bible inspiration is one of great importance, and as +it is at present exciting the greatest interest, it may not be amiss +here to give a few quotations from writers who have been led to see the +doctrine in the same light as ourselves. I am unable to give the names +of some of the authors from whose works I quote, but they are all +connected with one or other of the great evangelical denominations of +the day. + +The following is from "BASES OF BELIEF," by Edward Miall, one +of the best books on the truth and divinity of Christianity I have had +the happiness to read. Mr. Miall is a Congregational minister, editor of +the Nonconformist Newspaper, and Member of Parliament. As his remarks +are lengthy, we are obliged to abridge them in some cases. + +'It is not needed, in order to show satisfactorily that there is a +divine revelation _in_ the record, to prove that the record is _itself_ +divine. To disprove that revelation, a man must do something more than +point out marks of imperfection in the Book containing it, such marks as +would not be expected in a book written directly by the hand of God. If +it could be demonstrated that the penmen who have given us the life of +Christ, were indebted to no other aid than that supplied by the good +mental and moral qualifications which any others might possess, the main +strength of Christianity as a communication of God's mind and will, +would remain untouched. + +'The discrepancies between the statements of the four Evangelists,--the +indications of individual or national peculiarities,--the modes of +describing occurrences, true because well understood in the locality of +the speaker, but not strictly true in other places,--all matters which +serve to show that the same objects have been seen by different persons, +but from different points of view, are to be allowed for as reconcilable +with a truthfulness that may be implicitly relied upon. One informant +may have blundered in geography, another may have been mistaken in an +historical reference, a third may have misquoted or misapplied some +prophetical allusion, and all may have given ample proof that they were +not free from the influence of the traditions generally received in the +places to which they belonged; but unless these peculiarities and +infirmities show a want of competency as witnesses, or a lack of +integrity, they may be dismissed, as having no bearing on the main +point. + +'The question whether the Gospel records are free from blemishes found +to attach to every other record, has nothing to do with the main issue. +Our _theories_ may require them to be free from such harmless +imperfections; but our _reason_ makes no such demand. + +'The memoir of a great man does not lose its use and virtue, because +written by a biographer open to some censure: nor can the life of Christ +fail of its transcendent purpose, because the writers were not in all +things infallible. + +'Appearances of harmless human imperfections in the writers do not +invalidate the sacred records. For instance, if it should be found that +those faithful witnesses have given their testimony in exceptionable +Greek,--or that in some matters, not touching their main object, they +are not enlightened above the common standard of their times and +station,--or that they have habits of thought, or speech, or action, +which, though perfectly innocent in themselves, show that they are not +so far advanced in science as some,--if, in a word, it should appear +that the historic writers of the New Testament were really men of the +age in which they lived, and men of the country in which they were born +and educated, subject to the then limitations of general knowledge,--men +of individual tendencies, tastes, temperaments, passions, and even +prejudices,--wherein is the world worse for this, and in what respect +could our reason have wished it otherwise? We protest, we do not see. +On the contrary, we feel it to be an advantage, that the divine light +emanating from the life of Jesus Christ, should reach us through an +artless and thoroughly human medium. It is no misfortune, in our +judgment, but quite the opposite, that 'we have this treasure in earthen +vessels.' Such traces on the pages of evangelic history as mark the +writers for men,--honest, faithful, competent, but yet verily and indeed +men,--bring their narrative much more closely home to our sympathies, +and set us upon a more ardent search for the spirit in its several +portions, than if the story had been written by the faultless pen of +some superior being.' + +Mr. Miall then refers to the errors and discrepancies in the genealogies +prefixed to two of the lives of Christ, and says, 'They are accounted +for, in our view, by the humanity of the writers. We are not bound to +regard the genealogies as infallibly accurate, any more than we are +bound to regard the dialect of the writers as pure Greek. No essential +truth is affected by either, and that is enough.' + +Mr. Miall further argues that intellectual infallibility was not +necessary, and was not to be looked for, in Paul, the great expounder of +the Gospel. And he adds, 'Taking the New Testament as a whole, we are +not disposed to deny, that it bears upon the face of it, many +indications that its several writers were not entirely exempt from +mental imperfection,--but we contend that the mental imperfection which +their works exhibit, is perfectly compatible with the communication to +men of infallible knowledge respecting God, His moral relations to us, +His purposes with regard to us, and the religious duties which these +things enforce on all who would attain eternal life. And if this be +true, the record satisfies the spiritual need of man in its fullest +extent.' + +We have given Mr. Miall's views at greater length, because he occupies +so high a position, not only in one of the largest religious +denominations in England, but in the country generally, and because we +have never seen any protest against his views from any writer of +influence, in any branch of the Church of Christ. Such protests may have +appeared, but we have never met with any. We may add, that while Mr. +Miall gives up the idea of infallibility, he holds that the writers of +the New Testament history were under divine _guidance_ in composing +their several memoirs of Christ. + +Mr. Miall's views on the Old Testament writings we may have occasion to +notice further on. + +The Rev. Dr. Parker, author of ECCE DEUS, has some remarks of a +character somewhat similar to those of Mr. Miall, but we have not his +works at hand. + +Our next quotation is from a lecture on SCIENCE AND REVELATION, +by the very reverend R. Payne Smith, D. D., Dean of Canterbury. The +lecture was delivered at the request of the Christian Evidence Society, +London, and is published by that society, in their volume, entitled +MODERN SKEPTICISM. + +'Revelation has nothing to do with our physical state. Reason is quite +sufficient to teach us all those sanitary laws by which our bodies will +be maintained in healthful vigor. Whatever we can attain by our mental +powers, we are to attain by them. Physical and metaphysical science +alike lie remote from the object matter of revelation. The Bible never +gives us any scientific knowledge in a scientific way. If it did, it +would be leaving its own proper domain. When it seems to give us any +such knowledge, as in the first chapter of Genesis, what it says has +always reference to man. The first chapter of Genesis does not tell us +how the earth was formed absolutely, but how it was prepared and fitted +for man. Look at the work of the fourth day. Does any man suppose that +the stars were set in the expanse of heaven absolutely that men might +know what time of the year it was? They _did_ render men this service, +but this was not their great use. As the Bible speaks to all people, at +all times, it must use popular language.' + +This writer, like many others when they approach this subject, speaks +timidly, and in consequence somewhat vaguely and obscurely; but his +meaning is, that we must expect the Bible, on scientific subjects, to +speak, not according to science, but according to the prevailing ideas +of their times on scientific subjects; and that we are to regard the +Bible as our teacher, not on every subject to which it may allude, or on +which it may speak, but only on matters of religious truth and duty. + +The following is from the Rev. H. W. Beecher. + +'Matthew says, that Jesus dwelt in Nazareth; that it might be fulfilled +which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene. No such +line has ever been found in the prophets. + +'Infinite ingenuity of learning has been brought to bear upon this +difficulty, without in the slightest degree solving it. + +'What would happen if it should be said that Matthew recorded the +current impression of his time in attributing this declaration to the +Old Testament Prophets? Would a mere error of reference invalidate the +trustworthiness of the evangelist? We lean our whole weight [in other +matters] upon men who are fallible. Must a record be totally infallible +before it can be trusted at all? Navigators trust ship, cargo, and the +lives of all on board, to calculations based on tables of logarithms, +knowing that there never was a set [of logarithms] computed, without +machinery, that had not some error in it. The supposition, that to admit +that there are immaterial and incidental mistakes in Sacred Writ would +break the confidence of men in it, is contradicted by the uniform +experience of life, and by the whole procedure of society. + +'On the contrary, the shifts and ingenuities to which critics are +obliged to resort, either blunt the sense of truth, or disgust men with +the special pleading of critics, and tend powerfully to general +unbelief. + +'The theory of inspiration must be founded upon the grounds on which the +Scriptures themselves found it. "All Scripture is given by inspiration +of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for +instruction in righteousness; that the man of God may be perfect, +thoroughly furnished unto all good works." (2 Tim. 3: 16, 17.) + +'Under this declaration, no more can be claimed for the doctrine of +inspiration than that there shall have been such an influence exerted +upon the formation of the record, that it shall be the truth respecting +God, and no falsity; that it shall so expound the duty of man under +God's moral government, as to secure, in all who will, a true holiness; +that it shall contain no errors which can affect the essential truths +taught, or which shall cloud the reason or sully the moral sense. + +'But it is not right or prudent to infer from the Biblical statement of +inspiration, that it makes provision for the very words and sentences; +that it shall raise the inspired penmen above the possibility of +literary inaccuracy, or minor or immaterial mistakes. It is enough if +the Bible be a sure and sufficient guide to spiritual morality and +rational piety. To erect for it a claim to absolute literary +infallibility, or to infallibility in things not directly pertaining to +faith, is to weaken its real authority, and to turn it aside from its +avowed purpose. The theory of verbal inspiration brings a strain upon +the Word of God which it cannot bear. If rigorously pressed, it tends +powerfully to bigotry on the one side, and to infallibility on the +other. + +'The inspiration of holy men is to be construed, as we construe the +doctrine of an over-ruling and special Providence; of the divine +supervision and guidance of the church; of the faithfulness of God in +answering prayer. The truth of these doctrines is not inconsistent with +the existence of a thousand evils, mischiefs, and mistakes, and with the +occurrence of wanderings long and almost fatal. Yet the general +supervision of a Divine Providence is rational. We might expect that +there would be an analogy between God's care and education of the race, +and His care of the Bible in its formation. + +'Around the central certainty of saving truth are wrapped the +swaddling-clothes of human language. Neither the condition of the human +understanding, nor the nature of human speech, which is the vehicle of +thought, admits of more than a fragmentary and partial presentation of +truth. "For we know in part, and we prophesy in part." (1 Cor. xiii. 9.) +Still less are we then to expect that there will be perfection in this +vehicle. And incidental errors, which do not reach the substance of +truth and duty, which touch only contingent and external elements, are +not to be regarded as inconsistent with the fact that the Scriptures +were _inspired of God_. Nor will our reverence for the Scriptures be +impaired if, in such cases, it be frankly said, '_There_ is an insoluble +difficulty.' Such a course is far less dangerous to the moral sense than +that pernicious ingenuity which, assuming that there can be no literal +errors in Scripture, resorts to subtle arts of criticism, +improbabilities of statement, and violence of construction, such as, if +made use of in the intercourse of men in daily life, would break up +society and destroy all faith of man in man. + +'We dwell at length on this topic now, that we may not be obliged to +recur to it when, as will be the case, other instances arise in which +there is no solution of unimportant, though real, literary difficulties. + +'There are a multitude of minute, and on the whole, as respects the +substance of truth, not important questions and topics, which, like a +fastened door, refuse to be opened by any key which learning has brought +to them. It is better to let them stand closed than, like impatient +mastiffs, after long barking in vain, to lie whining at the door, unable +to enter, and unwilling to go away. _Life of Jesus, pp. 77-81._ + +The Rev. G. Rawlinson, in an able lecture in defence of the Bible, +published by the CHRISTIAN EVIDENCE SOCIETY of London, acknowledges that +there are matters of uncertainty in some parts of the Old Testament +history, and says, 'The time allowed by the common version of the Bible +for all the events which took place from the days of Noah, to the birth +of Christ, and for all the changes by which the various races of men +were formed, by which civilization and the arts were developed, etc., is +less than 2,600 years. Now this is quite insufficient. How is this +difficulty to be met? We answer; a special uncertainty attaches to the +numbers in this case. They are given differently in the different +ancient versions. The Samaritan version extends the time 650 years. The +Septuagint extends it eight or nine hundred years. If more time still be +thought wanting for the development of government, art, science, +language, diversities of races, etc., I should not be afraid to grant +that the original record of Scripture on this point may have been lost, +and that the true chronology cannot now be ascertained. Nothing in +ancient manuscripts is so liable to corruption as the numbers. The +original mode of writing them was by signs not very different from one +another, and thus it happens that in almost all ancient works, the +numbers are found to be deserving of very little reliance.' + +But the errors and uncertainty with regard to numbers amount to nothing. +They do not affect the Bible as the great religious instructor of the +world. + +The sun has its spots, dark ones and large ones too; and the face of the +moon is not all of equal brightness; but are the sun and the moon less +useful on that account? Do they not answer the ends for which they were +made, and are not those ends the most important and desirable +imaginable? Cavillers might say, if the sun and moon were made to be +lights of the earth, why are they not _all_ light, and why is not their +light of the greatest brilliancy possible? But we too have a right to +ask, Do they not give us light enough? And is not their light as +brilliant as is desirable? Will the caviller prove that the sun and moon +would be greater blessings if their light wore more intense, or more +abundant? Men may have too much light as well as too little. If light +exceeds a certain degree of intensity, it dazzles and blinds instead of +enlightening. It is well to have a little warmth, but if the heat be +increased beyond a certain point, it burns and consumes, instead of +comforting and cheering. + +The disposition of the caviller is anything but enviable, and if God +were to take him at his word, his lot would be anything but comfortable. +Happy are they who accept God's gifts as He presents them, with +thankfulness, and use them in His service faithfully, rejoicing and +trusting in His infinite wisdom and love. + +What a man wants in a book are instruction, impulse, strength, +correction, regeneration, consolation, lessons fit to furnish him to +every good work, something to give pleasure, supply exercise for his +intellect, conscience, affections: and the Bible is all. + +If God may employ an imperfect and fallible man to preach for him, +allowing a portion of his imperfections to mingle with his message, why +might He not employ an imperfect and fallible man to write for Him, +allowing a portion of his imperfections to mingle with his writing? + +The following is from the BISHOP OF LONDON. + +'The vindication of the supernatural and authoritative character of the +Bible has too often been embarrassed by speculative theories not +authorized by the statements of the Bible itself.' + +'It is no reply to the essential claims of the Bible to be a +supernatural revelation from God, to show that certain speculative +theories concerning the manner and degree of its inspiration are +untenable.' + +From whose works the following quotation is made, we do not remember. + +'The watchword of the Reformation was, 'The sufficiency of the +Scriptures for salvation.' + +'Definite theories of inspiration were seldom propounded till of late +years. + +'The Bible is a revelation of spiritual truth communicated chiefly in +illustrations and figurative language, and making use of the history, +chronology, and other sciences of the age, as vehicles or helps. This +principle will explain those seeming contradictions [to science] which +result from the use of popular language, as when the sun and moon are +said to stand still, or when the sun is said to go from one end of the +heaven to the other, etc. It will also account for many actual errors in +science, chronology, and history, should such be found to exist. The +Scriptures were not intended to teach men these things, but to reveal +what relates to our connection with moral law, and the spiritual world, +and our salvation. In teaching these things, the writers availed +themselves of the _popular_ language, and the current science and +literature of the age in which they lived. As in the present day a man +may be well instructed in Christian doctrine, and have the unction from +the Holy One, while ignorant of the teachings of modern science, so +likewise it was possible to those who first received religious truth and +were commissioned to declare it. The presence of the Holy Spirit no more +preserved men from errors in science in the one case than in the other. +One may as well seek to study surveying in a biography of Washington, as +the details of geology or chronology in Genesis. + +'The proper test to apply to the Gospels is, whether each gives us a +picture of the life and ministry of Jesus that is self-consistent and +consistent with the others; such as would be suitable to the use of +believers. + +'Many of the apparent contradictions of the Bible may be explained by +the mistakes of transcribers, or in some other way equally natural; but, +as the Bishop of London has well remarked, 'When laborious ingenuity has +exerted itself to collect a whole store of such difficulties, supposing +them to be real, what on earth does it signify? They may be left quietly +to float away without our being able to solve them, if we bear in mind +the acknowledged fact, that there is a human element in the Bible.' + +'What if many of the numbers given in Exodus should, as Bishop Colenso +asserts, be inaccurate? What is to be gained by assertions or denials +relative to matters which have for ever passed out of the reach of our +verification? And what if, here and there, a law should seem to us +strange and unaccountable; an event difficult to comprehend; a statement +to involve an apparent contradiction? What has all this to do with the +essential _value_ of the Book. Absolutely nothing, unless thereby its +[honesty] truthfulness can be set aside. + +'If error were _cunningly interspersed_ with truth in the Bible, the +case would be different. But it is _not_ so. The Book, as a whole, and +as it stands, is wholesome and useful; each portion of it has its proper +place, and is adequate to fulfil its appointed end. But everything in +the Book does not take hold alike on the heart and conscience. It may be +very interesting, as indeed it is, to trace on the map the various +journeyings of St. Paul, or the wanderings of the children of Israel in +the wilderness; to note a hundred designed coincidences, etc. Yet all +this may be done without the slightest moral or spiritual benefit to the +man who does it. And, of course, all this may be left undone by others +without the slightest spiritual loss or disadvantage.' + +The following may be our own. + +The great thing is to use the Scriptures as a means of instruction in +religious truth and Christian duty, and as a means of improvement in all +moral excellence and Christian usefulness. + +Set the doctrine of Scripture inspiration too high, and people, finding +that the Scriptures do not come up to it, will conclude that the +doctrine is false,--that the Scriptures are not inspired,--that they do +not differ from other books,--that divine revelation is a fiction,--that +religion is a delusion,--and that the true philosophy of life and of the +universe is infidelity. And the Scriptures do _not_ come up to the +doctrine of inspiration held by many. It is impossible they should. _No_ +book written in human language _can_ come up to it. What they say an +inspired book _must_ be, no book on earth ever was, and no book ever +will be. And infidels see it, and are confirmed in their infidelity. And +others see it and become infidels. And Christians argue with them and +are overcome. And others are perplexed and bewildered, and obliged to +close their eyes to facts, and though they cling to their belief, they +are troubled with fears and misgivings as long as they live. + +If men would be strong in the faith, and strong in its defence, they +should accept nothing as part of their creed but what is strictly true. + +There are passages which speak of the sun smiting men by day, and there +is one at least which speaks of the moon smiting men by night, and both, +for any thing I know, may be literally true. But suppose it were proved +that neither the sun nor the moon ever smites men, would my faith in +Christianity, or in the divine inspiration of the Bible, be shaken +thereby? Not at all. Nor would it destroy or weaken the effect of the +passages on my mind in which those allusions to the sun and moon occur. +I should still believe in the substantial truth of the passages, namely, +that, day and night, the good man is secure under the protection of God. + +A man says that he has lately been under 'disastrous influences.' +Literally, the words disastrous influences mean the influences of +unfriendly stars. But there are no unfriendly stars. Then why does he +use such an expression? Because, though it does not now in its current +meaning refer to the stars at all, it means calamitous, unfavorable, +influences. I do not believe that the sun like a strong man runs a race: +I believe its motion is only apparent,--that the _real_ motion is in the +earth. But do I therefore question the divine inspiration of the Bible +which uses that expression? Not at all; for the words are substantially +true. And so in a hundred other cases. + +And so in passages of other kinds. It does not matter to me whether the +account of creation in Genesis answers literally to the real processes +revealed by Geology, or whether the account of the flood answers exactly +to past facts. Both accounts are perfect as lessons of divine truth and +duty, and that is enough. + +Those who undertake to prove that every passage of the Bible is +literally true, must fail. If they _were_ all literally true, they would +never have done. There are more difficult passages, and more apparent +little contradictions, than any man could go through in a life-time. I +would no more undertake such a task than I would undertake to prove that +every leaf, and every flower, and every seed, of every plant on earth is +perfect, and that each is exactly like its fellows. God's honor and +man's welfare are as much concerned in the one as in the other. They are +concerned in neither. The leaves, the flowers, and the seeds of plants +are right enough,--they are as perfect as they need to be,--and I ask no +more. And the Bible is as perfect as it needs to be, and I am satisfied. + +The following is abridged from a work entitled CHRISTIANITY AND OUR +ERA, by the Rev. G. Gilfillan of Scotland. + +Mr. Gilfillan speaks of it as a 'Generally admitted fact, that there is +a human, as well as a divine element in Scripture,' and adds, 'that this +should modify our judgment in considering perplexing discrepancies and +minor objections. There are spots in the sun; there are bogs on the +earth; and why should the perplexities in a book, which is a +multifarious collection of poetico-theological and historical tracts, +written in various ages, and subject, in their history, to many human +vicissitudes, bewilder and appal us? The candid inquirer will be +satisfied if, from the unity of spirit, the truth and simplicity of +manner, the majesty of thought, the heavenliness of tone, and the +various collateral and external proofs, he gathers a _general_ +inspiration in the Bible, and the general truth of Christianity. Logical +strictness, perfect historic accuracy, systematic arrangement, etc., +could not be expected in a book of intuitions and bursts of inspiration; +the authors of which seemed often the child-like organs of the power +within. It seemed enough that there should be no wilful mis-statements, +and no errors but those arising from the inevitable conditions to which +all writings are liable. The skeptic who proceeds to peruse the Bible, +expecting it everywhere to be conformable to the highest ideal +standard--that there shall be nothing to perplex his understanding, to +try his belief, or to offend his taste, will be disappointed, and will +either give up his task, or go on in weariness and hesitation. On the +other hand, if he be told to prepare for historical discrepancies, for +staggering statements, for phrases more plain than elegant, and for +sentences of inscrutable darkness, he will be far more likely to come to +a satisfactory conclusion. And the apparent dark spots will only serve +to increase the surrounding splendor. We therefore cry to the skeptic +who purposes to explore the region of revelation; 'We promise you no +pavement of gold; you will find your path an Alpine road, steep, rugged, +with profound chasms below, and giddy precipices above, and thick mists +often closing in around, but rewarding you by prospects of ineffable +loveliness, by gleams of far-revealing light, and delighting you with a +thousand unearthly pleasures. _Try_ this pass, with a sincere desire to +come at truth, and with hope and courage in your hearts, and you will be +richly rewarded, and the toils of the ascent will seem to you afterwards +only a portion of your triumph.' + +One writer gives the following definition of inspiration. 'A +supernatural, divine influence on the sacred writers, by which they were +qualified to communicate moral and religious truth with authority.' + +This is tolerable. + +Another writer says, 'It is a miraculous influence, by which men are +enabled to receive and communicate divine truth.' + +This too is tolerable, notwithstanding the word miraculous. + +Another writer says, 'There has been a great diversity of opinions among +the best men of all ages, as to the nature and extent of Bible +inspiration.' + +He might have added, that these opinions have generally been nothing +more than opinions,--mere fancies, theories, framed without regard to +facts. + +Another writer says, 'It should be remembered, that the inspiration +which breathes through the Book is not of a scientific, critical, or +historical character, but exclusively religious.' + +He means, that while inspiration makes the Bible all that is desirable +as a teacher on religious matters, it does not, on other subjects, raise +it above the views of the ages and places in which it was written. For +he adds, 'The sacred record is not in every respect faultless. It is not +free from literary, typographical, and other defects. Nature herself, +where no one can deny the finger of God, has imperfections. The Book +presents the same characteristics as the best and highest of God's other +gifts, namely, not the outward symmetry of a finite and mechanical +perfection, but the inward, elastic, and reproductive power of a divine +life!' + +The meaning of this latter vague and wordy sentence seems to be, that +the inspiration of the Bible is such as to make it a powerful means of +producing spiritual life,--real religion; but not such as to preserve it +from little ordinary human errors and imperfections. + +This writer represents Dr. Stowe as saying, 'Inspiration, according to +the Bible, is just that measure of extraordinary Divine influence +afforded to the sacred speakers and writers, which was necessary to +secure the purpose intended, and no more.' + +This too we can accept. It does not authorize us to expect of the Bible, +or require us to prove with regard to it, any thing more, than that it +is adapted to be the religious and moral instructor of mankind. + +This same writer represents Dr. Robinson as saying, 'Whenever, and as +far as, divine assistance was necessary, it was always afforded.' This +too is tolerable. + +One writer says, 'Divine inspiration cannot be claimed for the +transcribers or translators of the original Scriptures.' + +We think it can. We see no reason to doubt, but that many of the +transcribers and translators of the Scriptures were as much under the +influence of the Holy Spirit,--the spirit of love, and truth, and all +goodness,--as the original writers. Our impression is, that the common +version is as truly the work of divine inspiration, as any book on +earth. + +One writer says, 'The language of the whole Bible is that of +appearances. In drawing illustrations from nature, the writers could not +have been understood, unless they had used figures and forms of speech +based on nature as popularly understood. Hence the heavenly bodies are +spoken of as revolving round the earth, the ant as storing up food in +summer, and the earth as being immovable, all of which are now known to +be contrary to [strict] truth.' + +This writer, like some others, feeling as if he had gone too far in +uttering words so true, contradicts them a few pages after, and makes a +number of statements which remind one of what the Apostle says, about +handling the word of God deceitfully. One would be tempted to charge him +with 'cunning craftiness,' only his craft is not very cunning. When +religious teachers act so unfaithfully, they have no right to complain +if people lose all confidence in their honesty. + +We grant, however, that the temptation to keep back the truth on this +point is very strong, and we must not be hard on the timid ones. It is +not always a fear of personal loss or suffering that keeps men from +speaking freely on religious subjects, but a dread of lessening their +usefulness, of hurting the minds of good though mistaken people, or of +disturbing and injuring the Church. + +But it is no use trying to cheat unbelievers. You cannot do it. They +will find you out, and be all the more suspicious and skeptical in +consequence. We must deal with them honestly; tell them nothing but what +is true, and use no arguments but what are sound and unanswerable. +Advocates of Christianity have made numberless unbelievers by teaching +erroneous doctrines, and by using weak and vicious arguments. The +Christian should so speak and act, that it shall be impossible for any +one ever to find him in the wrong. + +The following is probably our own. + +The historical difficulties of the Bible amount to little. They do not +affect its scope and tendency, as a moral and spiritual teacher. Nor are +they inconsistent with the doctrine that the Scriptures were given by +inspiration of God, as that doctrine is presented in the Scriptures +themselves. They may be inconsistent with the views of Scripture +inspiration taught by certain Theologians; but all we have to do is to +set the views of these Theologians aside, and content ourselves with the +simple teachings of Scripture. + +Now the doctrine of Scripture inspiration as taught by the Scriptures +themselves, gives me no authority to expect the Scriptures to be free +from historical and scientific errors, or from any of those so-called +imperfections which are inseparable from human language or from human +nature. It authorizes me to expect that the Scriptures shall aim at my +moral and spiritual instruction and salvation, and that they shall be +adapted to answer that great end. It authorizes me to expect that the +body and substance of the Book shall be true and good, and that a spirit +of wisdom and purity and love shall pervade the Book, giving it a +rousing and a sanctifying power. It authorizes me to expect in it all +that is necessary to bring me into harmony and fellowship with Christ, +to fill me with His spirit, to change me into His likeness, to enable me +to live as He lived, and to labor as He labored. It authorizes me to +expect in the Bible all that is necessary to comfort me in affliction, +to give me patience, to sustain my hopes, and to support and cheer me in +the hour of death. And all this I find in infinite abundance. I find it +in a multitude of forms,--forms the most touching and impressive. I find +it presented in the plainest, simplest style. I find in the Bible an +infinite treasury of all that is holy, just and good,--of all that is +beautiful, sublime, and glorious,--of all that is quickening, +renovating, strengthening,--of all that is cheering, exhilarating, +transporting,--of all that I can wish for or enjoy,--of all that my +powers can comprehend,--of all that my soul can appropriate and use. I +find in it, in short, riches unsearchable, beyond all that I could ever +have asked, or thought. And what can I wish for more? + +God has given us no perfect teachers, no perfect preachers, no perfect +churches; why should we suppose it necessary that He should give us a +perfect book? He has not given us any perfect books on medicine, on +diet, on trades, on politics, on farming, on gardening, on education, or +on poetry. Why should we expect Him to give us one on religion? As a +matter of fact, He has not done so. Our common Bible is a translation. +So are all the common Bibles in the world. And all translations are +imperfect. The translations are made from Greek and Hebrew Bibles, and +those are all imperfect. The Greek and Hebrew Bibles are compiled or +formed from Greek and Hebrew manuscripts. But these also are imperfect. +They all differ from each other. And no one can tell which is nearest to +the originals, for the originals are lost. So that whether there was an +absolutely perfect Bible at first or not, there is no such Bible now. +God Himself has so ordered things, that all the Bibles in the world, +like all the preachers, churches, and teachers, share the innocent +imperfections of our common humanity. + +Suppose the original Bible to have been perfect, and to have been +preserved from destruction, only one person could have possessed it. The +rest would have had to be content with imperfect human copies. God might +Himself have written perfect Bibles for all mankind, but He did not +choose to do it. Or He might have made perfect copies of the original +Bible, but He did not choose to do even that. He might have employed a +few legions of angels in making copies of the Bible; but _that_ He did +not do. He left the work to be done by men, and men have done it, as +they do all their work, imperfectly. + +Still, they have done it well enough. The poorest manuscript Bible in +the world is good enough. The most imperfect Greek and Hebrew Bible is +good enough. The poorest translation is good enough. It is so good, we +mean, that those who are able to read it, may learn from it all that is +necessary to make them good, and useful, and happy on earth, and to fit +them for the blessedness of eternal life in heaven. + +There is a sense in which no translation of the Scriptures is good +enough, if we can make it better; and we have no desire to prevent men +from doing their best to improve the translations in all languages as +much as possible. But do not let them make the impression that a perfect +translation is necessary or even possible; for it is not. God has caused +the Bible to be written in such a way, He has put all important matters +of truth and duty in such a variety of forms, that any translation, made +with a reasonable amount of learning and honesty, is sure to make things +intelligible enough in some of the forms in which they are presented in +the Book. + +The Bible, like the Church and the Ministry, is a great mixture of the +human and the divine. There is not a single book, nor a single passage +perhaps, in the whole volume, in which the weaknesses of man and the +perfections of God are not blended. Everywhere we have revelations of +the divine glory, and everywhere we have manifestations of human +imperfection. We have human errors side by side with divine truths. We +have neither a perfect teacher nor a perfect example in the whole Book, +but one; and of that one we have not a perfect record, either of His +teachings or His life. We have nothing but brief, imperfect, fragmentary +records of either. They are perfect enough; but they are very imperfect. +And Moses, and the Prophets, and the Apostles, are perfect enough; but +they are all imperfect. The Bible is perfect enough; but it is, +according to the ordinary meaning of the word, still imperfect. + +We do not need perfection, we do not need infallibility, in anything; +and we have it not. Imperfection is better, and that we have in +everything. + +And all this is in keeping with God's doings in other cases, 'The +inspiration of the Holy One giveth man understanding;' but does not make +his mind infallible. Christians 'have an unction, an inspiration, from +the Holy One, and know all things:' and yet they do not know all things; +but only those things which pertain to God and Christ: and even their +knowledge of these is acquired not all at once, or without the use of +means; but by degrees only, and by the faithful use of their natural +powers. + +The Apostles were not machines. Their inspiration did not take away +their liberty, or suspend the use of their natural powers. Nor did it +teach them natural science, or history; or lift them above ordinary, +innocent errors. Nor did it cause them to learn all Christian truth at +once. They gained their knowledge by degrees. Some imagine, that the +moment the Apostles received the Spirit on the day of Pentecost, they +were perfect and infallible; whereas it took them nearly ten years to +learn that they were to preach the Gospel to the Gentiles. They had the +words of Christ, 'Go ye into _all the world_, and preach the Gospel to +_every creature_;' yet it required nearly ten years, and a special +vision, to make them understand that _every creature_ included the +Gentiles. + +Nor have we any proof that the Spirit ever made the Apostles infallible +in every little matter. Paul says, when speaking of the resurrection, +'That which thou sowest is not quickened, except it die.' Now the truth +is, that the seed from which the harvest springs, does not die. It +simply expands and unfolds. His doctrine was right, but the notion on +which he grounded his illustration of it was an error. But it answered +his purpose. And there is a sense in which seed dies. It ceases to be a +seed in becoming a plant. + +Bishop Watson says, 'a grain of wheat must become _rotten_ before it can +sprout;' but that is not the case. It ceases to be a mere grain to +become a plant; but it does not become rotten; it remains alive and +sound. + +The Apostle is an able minister, a glorious interpreter of Christ and +His doctrine; and there is nothing seriously amiss in his illustrations; +but several of them are based on prevailing misconceptions. + +Some say, 'If the Apostles were not infallible in everything, their +writings would be of no use to us. If they might err in one thing, they +might err in others, and we could have no certainty of the truth of +anything.' But that is not true. On one occasion, Paul says, 'I knew not +that it was God's high-priest.' And on another, he says, 'I baptized +none of you but Crispus and Gaius.' Afterwards he says 'I baptized also +the house of Stephanas:' and he finishes by saying, 'I know not whether +I baptized any other.' Will you say, 'If Paul could be ignorant or +mistaken about the high-priest, or the number of persons he had +baptized; he might be ignorant or mistaken on every subject?' The truth +is, a man who was so much taken up with great things, would be sure to +think but little of small things. His determination to know nothing but +Christ; would be sure to keep him from wasting his time or strength on +trifles. A man's ignorance on some points is often proportioned to his +knowledge on others. And Paul is all the more trustworthy on great +matters of Christian truth and duty, because of his indifference to +matters of little or no importance. And say what we will, the Apostles +were not infallible on every point, and they never professed to be so. +They professed to be inspired, and inspired they were, but they did not +profess to be wholly infallible, and it is certain they were not so. + +And the admission of the truth on this point, will _not_ destroy our +confidence in them on others. We may believe that the Apostles were +fallible on matters of little moment, and have the fullest assurance +possible that they were right on matters of great importance. + +The Apostles themselves were sufficiently assured of the truth of those +impressions which they had received about Christ through their eyes and +ears; yet neither the eyes nor the ears of man are always or absolutely +infallible. I have myself mistaken blue for green, and yellow for white; +and I recollect two occasions on which coal or jet, seemed, at a +distance, in the sunlight, as white as snow. And I have often thought +things to be moving, which were at rest; and things to be at rest, which +were moving. Yet I have the fullest confidence in my eyes. I have +sometimes been mistaken with regard to sounds. I have thought a sound to +be near, when it was far off; and I have thought a sound to be far off, +when it was near. And I have often mistaken one sound for another. Yet I +have all the confidence I need to have in my ears. Both eyes and ears +may need the help of the mind at times; but the mind is always at hand +with its help. In short, I know that all my senses are fallible; yet on +every point of moment I have all the assurance, with regard to things +sensible, that is needful to my welfare. + +And so with regard to religious matters. There is nothing like +omniscience,--nothing like infinite or absolutely perfect knowledge or +infallibility in any man: yet every one may have all the information and +all the assurance on things moral and spiritual needful to his comfort +and salvation. + +Our assurance of the truth and excellency of Christian doctrine rests on +something better, surer, than theological and metaphysical niceties. You +who fancy that your strong and heart-cheering faith rests on theological +theories, and that if those theories were exploded, it would perish, +are, happily, under a great mistake. Your faith, and hope, and joy, +rest on the harmony between Christianity and your souls. My faith and +trust in the outward world, and my infinite appreciation of its +arrangements, rest, not on any philosophical theory; but on the +wonderful, the perfect adaptation of every thing to my nature, to my +wants, to my comfort and welfare. Nature answers to me, fits into me, at +every point. I am just the kind of being nature was made for; and nature +is just the kind of world my being requires. They match. They answer to +each other exactly, all round, and make one glorious and blessed whole. +And this is the secret of my trust in nature. + +And so it is with regard to Christianity and my soul. They are made for +each other. They fit each other. My soul just wants what Christianity +brings; and Christianity just brings what my soul requires. It answers +to my soul, as light and beauty answer to the eye, and as sound and +music answer to the ear, and the whole of nature to the whole of man. +There is neither want, nor superfluity, nor disagreement. Christianity +and my soul, like nature and my physical being, are a glorious match. +They are one: as I and my life are one. Christ is my life. Christ is my +all. And He is all that my soul requires or desires. + +And this is the ground of the good Christian's faith. It is not external +or historical evidence; it is not metaphysical niceties or theories; it +is not the endless mass of jarring evidences of any kind which lie in +misty, musty, dusty volumes on the shelves of dreamy, doting divines, +that makes you feel at rest in Jesus; but Jesus Himself, whose fulness +just answers to your wants, and whose life and love just make your +heaven. It is just that, and nothing more. + +There is a story of a judge who was celebrated for the wisdom and +justice of his judgments, but often censured for the weakness or folly +of the reasons which he gave for them. Many Christians resemble this +judge. They make a wise and worthy profession of faith; but when they +attempt to give reasons for their belief, they betray the most +lamentable ignorance. They _have_ good reasons, but they cannot put them +into words. They do not always know what their reasons for believing +are. The reasons they assign are not their real reasons. They believed, +and believed on good grounds, for sufficient reasons, years before they +heard of the reasons they give for their belief to those who question +them on the subject. The reasons they assign did not at first convince +them, and they are not the kind of reasons likely to convince others. +And it would be better if, instead of assigning them, they were to say: +'Well; I do not know that I can tell you the reasons why I believe the +Bible; but I have reasons. I am satisfied my belief is right. I am +satisfied the Bible is the right thing for me. I meet with things in it +that make me feel very happy. I meet with things in it that will not let +me do wrong; that will keep impelling me to do right, to do good. I meet +with things in it that support me in trouble; that make me thankful in +prosperity; that fill me with good thoughts, good feelings, good +purposes, good hopes, great peace, sweet rest, strong confidence, and a +blessed prospect of a better life. I like the Bible God: He is a great +protector, and a blessed comforter. I like the Bible story about Jesus, +and all the glorious things it says about His love and salvation. In +short, the Bible is a great part of my life, my soul, my joy, my +strength, my being, and I don't know what I could do without it. I +cannot argue. I don't know the reasons why I believe. But the Bible just +suits my soul, and I am inclined to believe that the world would be a +dark place, and life a poor affair, without its blessed revelations and +precious promises.' + +Now in speaking thus, most men would really, without knowing it, be +giving the reasons or grounds of their faith. The great reason really +is, the perfect adaptation of the Bible to their nature and wants. They +believe unconsciously and unthinkingly in the divinity of nature, on +account of the wonderful adaptation of its provisions to their natural +wants. They believe in virtuous love, and honorable marriage, and family +life, and natural affections, and friendship, and society, and +government, and law, on similar grounds. The reasons of their faith are +real, and good, and strong; but like the roots of a tree, they are low +down, out of sight, under the ground. They do not reflect on them, dig +them up, bring them to the light, and give them a critical examination. + +This internal evidence is gaining favor day by day. It is preferred by +the ablest modern writers to all others. It was the evidence that +vanquished the infidel socialists of five and thirty years ago. It is +the evidence that makes our modern infidel advocates wince and waver. +They hardly think it necessary to notice the historical evidences. They +know that they seldom get hold of men's hearts. But they cannot afford +to despise the internal evidences. They are a real power. Thousands are +touched by a sight of Jesus as presented in the Gospels, for one that is +moved by arguments from miracles or prophecies. Even the miracles of +Jesus owe their chief power to their benevolent character. + +The ablest American writer on the Evidences of Christianity, Rev. Mark +Hopkins, makes the moral and internal evidence almost everything, and +the external ones next to nothing. + +The Rev. F. C. Cooke, Canon of Exeter, in his lecture before the +Christian Evidence Society of London, says, 'The one great evidence, the +master evidence, the evidence with which all other evidences will stand +or fall, is Christ Himself speaking by His own word. It is the character +of Jesus that makes men feel that He and His religion are divine. It is +this that warms men's hearts, and wins their love, and produces a faith +full of life and power. Other evidences apart from this leave men cold, +and indifferent, or opposed to Christ.' But more on this point +hereafter. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +GOES INTO POLITICS. ARRESTED. LODGED IN PRISON. ELECTED TOWN COUNCILLOR, +MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, &C. + + +In 1846, I began to dabble in politics. And my views of political +subjects were as much out of the ordinary way as my views on matters +pertaining to religion. I was a republican. I would have no King, no +Queen, no House of Lords, and no State Church. I would abolish the laws +of entail and primogeniture, and reduce land to a level with other kinds +of property. The sale of land should be as untrammelled as that of +common merchandise, and it should be as liable to be taken for debt. I +broached startling views with regard to the right of property in land, +and urged that as it was naturally common property, it should be +considered as belonging, in part, to the nation, or Government, and made +to bear the principal burden of taxation. I recommended that the +property of the church should be used for the promotion of education. I +proposed to divide the country into equal electoral districts, and give +to every man who was not a criminal, a vote for members of Parliament. +As a rule, I held up America as an example in matters of government, but +objected to a Senate and a four years' President, preferring to place +all power in the hands of one Body, the direct representatives of the +people. A committee of that Body should be the _ministry_, and the +chairman of that committee the President. + +I really believed that this would be the perfection of Government. And +if all men were naturally good, as Unitarianism taught, what could be +wiser or better calculated to secure the happiness of a nation, than to +give every one an equal share of the power? I believed with Paine, that +a pure and unqualified democracy would secure the strictest economy, the +greatest purity, the best laws, and the most perfect administration of +the laws. I also believed that a pure unmixed democracy would prevent +insurrections, rebellions, and civil war, and that it would promote +peace with all the world. True, I believed the people would require +education, but I also believed that an ultra democracy would see to it +that the people _were_ educated, and educated in the best possible way. +Were not the people educated in America? And were we not taught that the +educational system of America was the result of its democratic form of +Government? And were not Price and Priestley democrats? And were not +Channing and Parker, the two great lights of Unitarianism in America, +democrats? Democracy then was the remedy for the evils of the world; the +one thing needful to the salvation of our race. + +More extravagant or groundless notions have seldom entered the mind of +man. Yet I accepted them as the true political gospel, and exerted +myself to the utmost to propagate them among the masses of my +countrymen. The Irish reformers demanded a repeal of the Union and the +right of self-government. I advocated both repeal for Ireland and +Republicanism for England. And in all my speeches and publications I +gave utterance to the bitterest reproaches against the aristocracy, and +against all who took their part. I had suffered grievously in my early +days. I had been subjected to all the hardships and miseries of extreme +poverty. I had spent three years on the verge of starvation, never +knowing, more than twice or thrice during the whole of that dreadful +period, what it was to have the gnawings of hunger appeased by a +plentiful meal. I had seen one near and dear to me perish for want of +food, and had escaped the same sad fate myself by a kind of miracle +only. And all these sufferings I believed to have been caused by the +corn and provision laws, enacted and maintained by the selfishness of +the aristocracy. I regarded the aristocracy therefore, and all who took +their part, as my personal enemies; as men who had robbed me of my daily +bread, and all but sent me to an untimely grave. I regarded them as the +greatest of criminals, as the enemies of the human race. I considered +them answerable for the horrors of the first great French Revolution, +and for the miseries of the Irish famine. I gave them credit for nothing +good. True, they had allowed the Reform Bill of 1831 to pass, but not +till they saw that a refusal would cause a revolution. They had accepted +free trade, but not till they saw that to reject it would be their ruin. +I had not then learnt that in legislating with an eye to their own +interests they had done no more than other classes are accustomed to do +when they get possession of power. I had not yet discovered that the +germs of selfish legislation and tyranny are sown in the hearts of all, +and that the faults of the higher classes prevail among all classes +under different forms. I saw the misdoings of the parties in power, and +looked no further, and I heaped on them the bitterest invectives. My +passionate hatred of the privileged classes, expressed in the plainest +English, and justified, apparently, by so much that was bad in the +history of their doings, roused the indignation of my hearers and +readers to the highest pitch. I commenced a periodical, which at once +became a favorite with the ultra democrats, and speedily gained an +extensive circulation. + +In 1847, in my _Companion to the Almanacs_, I foretold the French +Revolution of 1848. How it happened I do not exactly know; but I have, +at times, made remarkable guesses, and this perhaps was one of them. +When the Revolution took place it caused a tremendous excitement in +every nation in Europe. Kings and emperors found it necessary to promise +their subjects constitutional governments. It turned the heads of many +people in England. Numbers who had never been politicians before, became +politicians then. And many politicians who had previously been moderate +in their views, became wild and revolutionary. The Chartists clamored +for "the Charter, the whole Charter, and nothing but the Charter." +Meetings were held in almost every part of the country, and speeches +were delivered, and publications were circulated, of a most inflammatory +character. Monster demonstrations were got up, and many who did not take +part in them encouraged them, in hopes that they would frighten the +Government into large concessions to the party of reform. A meeting of +the leading reformers was called in London, and I was present. Young +Stansfield, now member of Parliament, was there, and Sergeant Parry, and +Edward Miall, and Henry Vincent, and a number of others. The Chartists +arranged for a convention in London, and I was sent as a member. The +meeting cut but a pitiful figure. It soon got into unspeakable disorder. +The second day the question was, "What means should we recommend our +constituents to use in order to obtain the reforms they desired?" I, +extravagant as I had shown myself on many points, had always set myself +against resort to violence. My counsel therefore was for peaceful, legal +measures. Ernest Jones and several others clamored for organization, +with a view to an armed insurrection. By and by we got into confusion +again. Some one hinted that agents of the Government were present, and +that we were venturing on dangerous ground. Ernest Jones replied, "It is +not for us to be afraid of the Government, but for the Government to be +afraid of us." Confusion got worse confounded. I began to be ashamed of +my position. Mad as I was, I was not insane enough for the leaders of +the convention, so I started home. + +On Good Friday there was an immense meeting on Skircoat Moor, near +Halifax, and I was one of the speakers. It was the largest assembly I +ever saw. The Speakers that preceded me talked about the uselessness of +talk, and called for action. I talked about the usefulness of talk, and +contended that resort to violence would be both folly and wickedness. +While I was speaking, a man in the crowd on my left fired a pistol, as +if to intimidate me, and encourage the party favorable to insurrection. +I at once denounced him as a traitor, who had come to hurry the people +into crime, or a madman, whom no one ought for a moment to think of +imitating. The physical force men were terribly vexed at my remarks, but +the mass of the meeting applauded my counsels, and the immense concourse +dispersed and went home, without either perpetrating a crime, or meeting +with an accident. + +My advocacy of peace was duly appreciated by some even of those who +lamented the extravagance of my views on other subjects. Others looked +on me with unmitigated horror. And the feelings of the richer classes +generally against me rose to such a pitch at length, that it was hardly +safe for me to go abroad after dark. My religious and political +opponents joined their forces, and seemed bent on my destruction. They +believed I was undermining the foundations of society, and throwing all +things into confusion. They looked on me as little better than a madman, +scattering abroad firebrands, arrows, and death. And many treated me as +a kind of outlaw, as a man who had no rights that anybody was bound to +respect; and rude boys and reckless men took liberties with my property, +and even threatened me with death. Insurance companies would not insure +my property. Schoolmasters would not admit my sons into their schools, +lest others should take their children away. Mothers would not allow +their daughters to play with my little daughter, lest she should infect +them with her father's heresies. + +After the Summer Assizes in 1848, the judge at Liverpool issued Bench +warrants for the arrest of a number of political agitators, and in the +list of the names of those parties, published in the newspapers, mine +was included. As I had always kept within the limits of the law, and as +I had received no visit from the police, I supposed that my name had +been inserted in the list by mistake. And as I was allowed to remain at +large for six weeks, I felt confident that it was either some other +Joseph Barker that was wanted, or that my name had been mentioned as one +of the parties to be arrested, in jest, or to frighten me into silence. + +And the probability is, that if I had kept at home and remained quiet, I +should have been permitted to go on with my business undisturbed. But I +had an engagement at the end of six weeks, to give two political +lectures at Bolton. Just about that time a vacancy occurred in the +representation of that Borough, and my friends there, without consulting +me, put me forward as a candidate for the vacant seat, and announced my +lectures as a statement of my political views, urging the people to come +and hear me, and judge for themselves, whether I was not the fittest man +to represent them in the National Legislature. + +I gave my first lecture on a Friday night, to a crowded and excited +audience in the Town Hall, and when I had done, the people passed a +resolution by acclamation, to the effect that I was just the man for +them, and that they would have no other. + +On the Saturday I went on into Wales, to fulfil an engagement which I +had for the Sunday, and returned on Monday to give my second lecture. +When I got near to Bolton, some friends met me, and told me that the +police from Manchester were in the town looking for me, and that I had +better go right home. I said, "Nay, I never broke an engagement yet, and +I won't do so now;" so I went on. As soon as I had rested myself a +little I went direct to the head of the Manchester police, and asked him +if he would not allow me to deliver my lecture, promising, if he wished +it, to go with him quietly afterwards. He said, No, I could not be +allowed to deliver my lecture, and added, that I must consider myself +his prisoner. I, of course, offered no resistance, but at his request +went with him at once to the railway station. The people had already +collected in the streets as I passed along, and there was soon an +excited crowd at the station, but I and my friends urged them to be +peaceful, and peaceful they were. We were soon at Manchester, and I was +taken at once to the City Jail, where lodgings had been procured for me +at the public expense. I passed the night in an underground cell, of the +kind provided for criminals of the baser sort. It was anything but clean +and sweet, and the conduct of the authorities in placing me in such a +hole, when I was not even charged with any gross offence, was neither +wise nor just. There were some raised boards on one side, but no bed, no +sheets, no blankets. + +It was not long before a number of friends who had heard of my arrest, +called to see me, and were admitted to my dungeon. They brought some +food, some candles, and as they had been informed that I had not been +permitted to wash myself before being locked up, one of them, a lady, +brought me a moistened towel with which to wipe my face. While these +kind friends were trying to make things comfortable for me in my prison, +others were running to and fro in search of bail, with a view to my +speedy release. One dear, good soul, Mr. Travers Madge, when he heard +that I was in jail, started at once for Mossley, a distance of ten or +eleven miles, to see Mr. Robinson, a faithful friend, to request him to +come to my help. It was two o'clock in the morning when, weary and full +of anxiety, he knocked at Mr. Robinson's door. Mr. Robinson rose as soon +as he heard his voice, and took him into the house, and requested him to +take something to eat, and go to rest till daylight, promising to start +with him back to Manchester by the earliest conveyance. But poor Mr. +Madge could neither eat nor sleep till his friend was out of prison. + +Early in the morning I was brought into court. Bail was offered at once, +but the magistrates would not accept bail so early, though offered by +well-known and thoroughly respectable parties. The reason was, the +election was to take place at Bolton that day, and the magistrates were +afraid that if I were allowed to be present, there might be more +excitement than would be consistent with the peace and safety of the +Borough. So they kept me in prison till four o'clock, when they received +intelligence that the election was over, and that all was peaceful. They +then set me at liberty. I went at once to Bolton, and found, sure +enough, that I had been elected, and that by an immense majority, of +more than eight to one. And as no one else was elected at that time, +either by show of hands or a poll, I was, in truth, the only legal +representative, though I never sat in Parliament. Explanations after. + +I was soon surrounded by a vast multitude of people, to whom I gave a +short address. As soon as I could get away from the excited crowd, I +hastened home. A friend had started for Wortley as soon as I was out of +prison, to inform my wife and children that I was safe and at liberty, +and he was there when I arrived. It fortunately happened that my family +heard of my imprisonment and of my liberation at the same time, and from +the same lips, so that the shock they received was not so severe as it +might have been. But they were terribly tried. It would be vain to +attempt to describe their feelings when they saw me enter the house. I +did my best to comfort them, and assured them that I should take no +hurt. + +I was bound over to appear to take my trial at the Winter Assizes on a +charge of sedition and conspiracy, and I set to work to prepare for the +event. A good kind friend residing at Barnard Castle, George Brown, +Esq., who had helped me in my contests with my theological opponents, +helped me in this new trial. He had studied the law all his life, and +was a most faithful and trustworthy adviser. He directed me what steps +to take, and all his instructions proved wise and good. + +My friends set on foot a subscription, to procure for me the ablest +defence, and raised, in the course of a few weeks, from two to three +hundred pounds. I am amazed when I look back to those days, at the +number and ardor of my friends, and at the eagerness with which they +hastened to my aid. + +Some friends from Holbeck, in the Borough of Leeds, requested me to +allow myself to be put forward as a candidate for the Town Council at +the approaching election. Not thinking that I should have any chance of +being elected, I hesitated; but as they expressed a contrary opinion, +and seemed exceedingly anxious that I should place myself in their +hands, I complied with their request. They elected me by the largest +number of votes that had ever been given for a town councillor in any +borough in the kingdom up to that time. My neighbors chose this method +of testifying their regard for me, and of protesting against the conduct +of the Government in interfering with my liberty. + +At length the Assizes came. I made my appearance in court at the time +appointed, with more than thirty voluntary witnesses by my side, all +prepared to testify, that in my lectures and public speeches I had +uniformly advocated peaceful measures, and denounced everything in the +shape of conspiracy, violence, or insurrection. I waited ten days for my +trial, attending in court all the time. I watched the trials of other +political prisoners, and was not a little discouraged to find that they +were all convicted, and sentenced, generally, to lengthy terms of +imprisonment. The charge against one of the prisoners was, that he had +sold and circulated seditious publications. Copies of the works which he +was charged with circulating were brought into court. What were my +feelings when I found that the publications were my own _Companion to +the Almanacs_, and my weekly periodical _The People_. These works were +handed about the court, and placed in the hands of the judge. The man +was convicted, and sentenced to two years' imprisonment. What chance was +there now for me? My solicitor advised me to plead guilty, telling me I +should thus get off with a lighter punishment; but I refused. Some _did_ +plead guilty, and _did_ get off with lighter punishments than those who +stood their trial; but I was determined to have a public trial, or else +be honorably discharged. + +It was alarming enough to see a man convicted for selling my +publications: but something still more alarming happened the following +day. A most unprincipled and lying witness was brought forward by the +Attorney-General. During the trial of one of the Chartist leaders he +swore that he had himself formed one of a band of conspirators in +Manchester, who pledged themselves to burn the city, and who had +prepared the most destructive combustibles to secure the success of +their horrible plot. When asked to name the parties composing the +meeting at which he said he had been present, he named me as one. I was +horrified. I had never seen the man before in all my life, and the idea +that I should be a party to such a plot as he had described, was +monstrous; but what was to hinder a prejudiced or a frightened jury from +believing his testimony? Fortunately for me, the Judge asked him if he +saw in court, and could point out, any of the persons he had named as +parties to the conspiracy. I stood within two or three yards of him, and +looked him full in the face. It was plain from the way in which his +wandering eyes passed by me, that whatever other parties he might know, +he did not know me. At length he pointed out a person that he said was +present at the secret meeting. 'What is his name?' said the Judge. The +fellow gave a name. It was not the right one. He pointed out another. +'What is his name?' said the Judge again. The fellow gave a name. He was +wrong again. The court got out of patience with the villain, and the +Judge ordered him into custody to await his trial on a charge of +perjury. This was an unspeakable relief both to me and to my anxious +wife and friends, who had witnessed the dreadful affair with the most +intense anxiety and alarm. + +Some time after this horrible exhibition of baseness, my solicitor came +to me and told me that he had had an interview with the +Attorney-General, and that he had authorized him to say, that if I would +enter into bonds and give securities to keep the peace, he would not ask +me to plead guilty, but set me at liberty without more to do. He even +offered, at last, to accept my own recognizances to the small amount of +fifty pounds, without any other security. I refused the offer. To give +bonds to keep the peace seemed like an acknowledgment that I had +attempted or threatened to break it; and I had done no such thing. My +solicitor said the offer was a very generous one, and pressed me very +earnestly to accept it: my counsel did the same; but without effect. A +number of friends came round me and tried to remove my objections to the +measure: but all was vain. I was sorry to go against their advice, but +my feeling was, that to agree to the compromise proposed would be a +sacrifice of principle, and would entail dishonor on me, and be followed +by self-reproach and shame. At last, to obtain a little respite, and to +get out of the way of my importunate friends for a time, I told my +solicitor that I would lay the matter before my wife, and that whatever +she might advise, I would do. He agreed to this. He was satisfied that +there was not a woman in the country that would not advise her husband +to make a concession like that required of me, rather than see him run +the risk of two or three years' imprisonment. + +My wife was at Southport just then, some eighteen miles away, and it was +too late for me to get to her that evening, so I had to spend the night +alone in Liverpool. I went to bed, but found it impossible to sleep. My +anxious mind kept turning over and over the proposal of the +Attorney-General, and trying to find some good reason for accepting it; +but all in vain. I had promised to be guided by my wife; but suppose she +should counsel me to give the required security, could I do so and be +happy? It seemed impossible. It struck twelve,--it struck +one--two--three, and I was still unsettled. At last I said, 'I will +explain my misgivings to my wife,--I will tell her that I feel as if I +should never be happy to consent to the compromise,--that I cannot get +rid of the feeling that it would be dishonorable. And I know she will +never advise me to do anything that I regard as dishonorable.' As soon +as I had fairly decided what to do, I fell asleep. + +I was at Southport in the morning by the earliest conveyance, and laid +the matter before my wife. 'Do nothing,' said she, 'that you regard as a +sacrifice of principle, or an act of dishonor. Whatever you believe to +be your duty, do it; I am willing to take the consequences.' I answered, +'I believe it my duty to insist on a trial, or on an honorable +discharge,' 'Then insist on it,' said she. That was enough. I returned +to Liverpool at once, and told my solicitor the result of my interview +with my wife, and he communicated the intelligence to the +Attorney-General. The Attorney-General was very much vexed, and, using +an expression which we cannot with propriety repeat, declared that he +would 'make me squeak.' + +The result of my refusal was that the Attorney-General put off my case +to the very last. On the eleventh day of the Assizes I was placed in the +dock with a number of prisoners who had agreed to plead guilty, and +enter into bonds. My name was called at length, and I refused either to +plead guilty, or to be bound to keep the peace. 'Can there be any man +so foolish as not to accept the mercy of her Majesty?' said the Judge. +My answer was, that I had committed no crime, and that it was justice +that I wanted, and not mercy. 'I demand a trial,' said I, 'or an +honorable discharge. I have been arrested on a charge of sedition and +conspiracy, and held up before the world as a criminal, and I claim the +right of justifying myself before the public, unless I am honorably +discharged.' The Judge said I had no need to concern myself about the +public,--that the public did not concern itself about me. I answered +that the public _did_ concern itself about me; and that I was right in +concerning myself about the public. At this point my Counsel rose, and +spoke of my character and position, with a view to justify my demand for +a trial, or an honorable discharge. The Attorney-General then applied +for a postponement of my trial to the following Assizes, alleging that I +was the author of a seditious and blasphemous publication. I said the +statement was false, and that the Attorney-General had no right to make +such a charge against me, and added that to ask a postponement after I +and my witnesses had been waiting there eleven days, was most +unreasonable. The Judge then asked on what grounds a postponement was +desired. When the Attorney-General stated his grounds, the Judge +pronounced them insufficient. The Attorney-General then said he should +enter a _nolle prosequi_. Some of my friends, when they heard this, were +greatly alarmed. They supposed it to be a threat of something very +terrible, and expected to see me carried away at once to prison. And +some of the bystanders began to reproach me, and say I was rightly +served for not accepting the generous offer of the Attorney-General. I, +of course, knew that the Attorney-General's _nolle prosequi_ meant that +he would have nothing more to do with me, and that I was now free. While +therefore my friends were fearing and trembling, I stood calm and +comfortable. After a few moments the Judge said 'You are at liberty, and +may retire.' + +When my friends found that I was free, they were wild with delight, and +flocked round me, eager to shake me by the hand, and give me their +congratulations. They were now satisfied that in rejecting the proposal +of the Attorney-General, I had done no more than my duty. One +gentleman, who had been bail for me, was extravagant enough to declare +that I occupied the proudest position of any man in the country. 'You +have withstood the tyranny of the Government,' said he, 'and have +triumphed.' I hurried home as fast as I could with my happy wife and my +exulting friends. When we got there the cannon were roaring and the +bands playing. My workmen and neighbors had heard of my triumph, and +were celebrating it in the noisiest way they could. Then followed +feasting and public congratulations, both at home and in distant parts +of the country, and for a time I was quite a hero. + +The interference of the authorities with my liberty, and the needless +annoyances to which they had subjected me, had roused my indignation to +a high pitch, and after my liberation, I wrote and spoke more violently +against the Government than I had done before. At length the great +excitement in which I had so long lived, and the excessive labors in +which I had been so long engaged, exhausted my strength; my health began +to fail; I thought my constitution was giving way, so I resolved on some +change of position and occupation. + +I had long suffered from dyspepsia. For twenty years I had spent so much +nervous energy in mental work, that I had not sufficient left to digest +my food. And I had suffered in consequence, not only from violent +heart-burn, but from a more distressing pain at the pit of my stomach. I +had continually, or almost continually, for months together, a feeling +as if a red-hot bullet lay burning in my stomach, or as if some living +creature was eating a hole through the bottom of it. I took medicine, +but it gave me no relief. The disuse of intoxicating drinks had once +cured me for a time,--cured me for some years in fact,--but the +torturing, depressing sensation came again at last, and seemed more +obstinate than ever. + +In 1847, as I was leaving home one day in the train, I was seized with a +pain of a much more dreadful description. It seemed as if it would burst +my stomach, or tear it in pieces, and destroy my life at once. It +continued for nearly an hour. It returned repeatedly, and remained +sometimes for several hours. In some cases it tortured me all night. +Vomiting took it away, so I frequently took warm water to produce +vomiting. I was advised to take more exercise in the open air, so I +bought a gun and went out shooting. I purchased a horse and carriage +too, and went out riding. These did me good. But I found that when I +took certain kinds of food, such as rich cakes, rich pies, or rich +puddings, the pain returned. So I began to deny myself of those +luxuries. But even spare living seemed to lose its effect after a time, +and first the gnawing, and then the stretching, tearing, rending pain +returned. + +In 1849, I took a voyage to America. Vast numbers of my readers wanted +to emigrate to America, and they looked to me for information respecting +the country. I had given them the best I could get, but they wanted more +and better. They wanted me to visit the country, and give them the +result of my observations and inquiries. I did so. To fit myself the +better for giving them counsel, I crossed the ocean in a common emigrant +sailing vessel, and saw how the poor creatures fared. We were nearly +eight weeks on the water. For much of the time the winds were idle. They +refused to blow. They might have struck for shorter hours or better pay. +When they did blow, they blew with all their might, but almost always in +the wrong direction; as if they regarded us as their enemies, and were +bent on giving us all the annoyance they could. Many were sick; more +were discontented; and all longed wearily for land. These eight weeks +were the longest ones I ever lived. They looked like years. At length we +got a sight of land, and rejoiced exceedingly. For myself, I had other +feelings as well as joy, when I first got sight of the great New World +of which I had heard, and read, and thought so much, and so long, and of +which I had dreamt so often. For America had lived in my thoughts from +my early days; and the first faint glimpse of her wooded shores thrilled +my whole soul with unspeakable emotions. + +We landed. I examined the emigrant boarding houses. I sought information +about work and wages, and about means of transport to the West. I called +on Horace Greeley and others, to whom I had letters of recommendation, +who helped me to books about the West. I made my way through New York, +and across Lake Erie to Cleveland. I had three brothers who were +settled in different parts of Ohio, and a number of old friends. I +visited them. I explored Ohio. I went into Western Virginia, and +examined some lands there that had been advertised for sale in England. +I passed on to Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin. I spent some +days in Chicago. The city was awfully dull. The people were despondent. +I almost think I could have bought the whole city for fifty thousand +pounds. I had a farm offered me for seven dollars and a half an acre, on +which now a great part of the city I suppose is built. I went to +Milwaukie. There the people seemed more hopeful; though several were +leaving for warmer climes. It was autumn, and I treated myself freely to +the peaches and other rich fruits of the country. About the end of +October I started for England, in one of the Cunard Steamers, crossing +the ocean in nine days, about one-sixth of the time I spent in the +voyage out. + +I gave to my readers an account of all I had seen, and heard, and read, +and thousands of them left the land of their birth in search of homes in +the domains of the Great Republic. Some got home-sick, and cursed me. +Some got profitable work, or promising farms, and blessed me. And I +learned two lessons; first, that a man must not look to men for the +reward of his beneficent services, but to God and a good conscience; +and, second, that some will be miserable, and that some will be happy, +go where they may:--that it is not the land they live in, but the +dispositions they cherish, and the life they live, that makes their +heaven or hell. + +I had already made up my mind to settle in America myself, and early in +1851 I disposed of my business, and prepared to transport myself and my +family to Central Ohio. I had suffered so long from pain, and weakness, +and depression, and I was so utterly wearied with continual over-work, +and so disgusted too with the government and institutions of the +country, and with some of its inhabitants, that I felt it an infinite +relief to be freed from all further care and concern about business, and +in the first rush of my new wild joy, I took my gun and blew off part of +the top of the chimney of my printing establishment. No child could be +wilder in his delight, when escaping from long confinement in a weary +school, and starting for the longed-for society and pleasures of his +home. + +But preparing for a journey of four thousand miles, with wife and +children, was itself work enough for a time. There were a hundred things +to be bought, which you would need in your new and far off home. And +there were a thousand things which you already had, to be packed, and as +many more to be set aside, to be destroyed, or sold, or given away. And +there were a thousand letters and papers to be examined, and a judgment +formed, as to which should be preserved, and which should perish in the +flames. And there were visits to be paid and repaid, and there were +partings, and regrets, and tears. But all was over at length, and we +were on our way to the world beyond the flood. + +It was pleasant to get away from one's religious and political +opponents, but painful to part with so many devoted friends, who had +proved their affection for me and for my family by so many sacrifices, +and their steadfastness in times of so much trial. But I had hopes of +keeping up my intercourse with them through the Press, and of +ministering to their gratification and improvement by sending them +accounts of all I saw or learnt of an interesting character in the land +to which I was going. I had also hopes that a quiet home, in a retired +and peaceful part of a new country, might prove conducive to my own +improvement and happiness. + +One of the objects I had in view in going to America was to obtain a +little quiet for calm reflection on the course I had so long been +pursuing, and a sober consideration of the position which I had reached. +I was not satisfied that the changes which had taken place in my views +and way of life, since my separation from the Church and the ministry, +had all been changes for the better. I had had suspicions for some time, +that amidst the whirl of perpetual excitement in which I had lived, and +the continual succession of angry contests in which I had been engaged, +I had probably missed my way on some points, and I wished for a +favorable opportunity of ascertaining whether these suspicions were well +grounded or not. + +But when I got to America I found myself in a condition less friendly to +calm reflection and to a just and impartial review of my past history, +than the one from which I had fled. The very day we landed in New York +we fell in with the Hutchinson family. I had become acquainted with them +in England, and had spent some time in their company, and had attended +some of their concerts at Leeds. They were to sing that night in New +York, and we attended the performance, and were delighted with their +sweet wild music, and with their wisdom and their wit. They were all +reformers of the radical school, and though their songs and conversation +were not immoral or profane, they were advanced beyond the bounds of +religion, into the neutral ground of Latitudinarianism. + +When we got to Akron, Ohio, we found a Woman's Rights Convention in +session; and there we got introduced to a number of advanced spirits, +both male and female, and in their society became acquainted with quite +a multitude of strange and lawless speculations, of which, till then, we +had lived in happy or in woful ignorance. We reached at length the +region where we were to make our home, and now other matters engrossed +my mind. I had, in the first place, a farm to select, and then the +purchase to make. I had then my goods to look after, my house to +arrange, and my food to provide. Then work wanted doing on the farm--a +hundred kinds of work, all new, and many of them hard and very +perplexing. We wanted men to aid us; and men were not to be got; or, +when got, were difficult to manage, and hard to please. And horses, and +cows, and sheep, were wanted; and poultry, and pigs; and ploughs, and +harrows, and wagons, and harness. And stoves and fuel were required. And +the house had to be enlarged, and the barns rebuilt, and the gardens +cultivated, and the orchard replanted. And a hundred lessons on farming +had to be learnt, and a hundred more to be unlearnt. And we were always +making mistakes, and sustaining losses. And our neighbors were not all +that we could wish; and we were not all that they could wish. It was +impossible to avoid impositions, and difficult to take injustice +quietly; so we remonstrated, and resisted, and made things worse. + +Before we had got ourselves fairly settled we began to be visited by a +number of friends. And many of those friends were wilder and more +extravagant, in their views on religion and politics, than myself; and +instead of helping me to quiet reflection, did much to render such a +thing impossible. They were mostly Garrisonian Abolitionists, with whom +I had become acquainted while in England, or through the medium of +anti-slavery publications. Many of them had had an experience a good +deal like my own. They had been members and ministers of churches, and +had got into trouble in consequence of their reforming tendencies, and +had at length been cast out, or obliged to withdraw. They had waged a +long and bitter war against the churches and ministers of their land, +and had become skeptics and unbelievers of a somewhat extravagant kind. +Henry C. Wright was an Atheist. So were some others of the party. My own +descent to skepticism was attributable in some measure to my intercourse +with them, and to a perusal of their works, while in England. The first +deadly blow was struck at my belief in the supernatural inspiration of +the Scriptures by Henry C. Wright. It was in conversation with him too +that my belief in the necessity of church organization was undermined, +and that the way was smoothed to that state of utter lawlessness which +so naturally tends to infidelity and all ungodliness. My respect for the +talents of the abolitionists, and the interest I felt in the cause to +which they had devoted their lives, and the sympathy arising from the +similar way in which we had all been treated by the churches and +priesthoods with which we had come in contact, disposed me, first, to +regard their skeptical views with favor, and then to accept them as +true. + +And now they welcomed me to their native land, and embraced the earliest +opportunity of visiting me in my new home. And all that passed between +us tended to confirm us in our common unbelief. I afterwards found that +in some of the abolitionists, in nearly all, I fear, anti-christian +views had led to immoral habits, which rendered their antipathy to +Christianity all the more bitter. In almost all of them infidelity had +produced a lawlessness of speculation on moral matters, which could +hardly fail to produce in the end, if it had not already produced, great +licentiousness of life. + +I had no sooner got things comfortably fixed at home, than I received +an invitation from the American Anti-slavery Society, to attend their +Annual Meeting, which was to be held in Rochester, New York. I went, and +there I met with S. S. Foster, Abby Kelly Foster, Parker Pillsbury, C. +L. Remond, Henry C. Wright, Wendell Phillips, W. L. Garrison, Lucy +Stone, Lucretia and Lydia Mott, and a number of other leading +Abolitionists. Here too I met with Frederick Douglas, the celebrated +fugitive slave, who had settled in Rochester, and was publishing his +paper there. Some of the Anti-Slavery Leaders I had seen before in +England, and had had the pleasure of having them as my guests, and of +enjoying their conversation. Henry C. Wright, W. L. Garrison, Frederick +Douglas, and C. L. Remond, were old acquaintances. The rest I knew only +by report: but I had read the story of their labors and sufferings in +behalf of the negro slave, and had longed for years to make their +acquaintance. They were, in my estimation, among the best and bravest of +their race. I had read of them a thousand times with the greatest +interest, and a thousand times I had wished for the honor of +co-operating with them in their generous labors. And now I was in their +midst, on American soil. And all seemed glad to make my acquaintance, +and eager to testify their regard for me, and to welcome me to a share +in their benevolent labors. I was soon at home with them all, for they +were a free and hearty people. I attended both their public and their +private meetings. The anniversary lasted several days, and the time was +one continued Festival. There were people from almost every part of the +country, and the house of every Anti-Slavery person in the city was +placed at the service of the visitors. They were as one family, and had +all things in common. The public meetings were largely attended, and the +audiences seemed favorably impressed. In the intervals I visited the +Falls on the Genesee River. More beautiful and enchanting scenes I never +beheld. In all but terrible grandeur they equal, if they do not surpass, +the Falls of Niagara. + +And there was an infinite abundance of strange and exciting conversation +in many of the circles, not only on Slavery, but on the Bible and +Religion, on the Church and the Priesthood, and on Woman's Rights, and +the Bloomer Costume, and Marriage Laws, and Free-love, and Education, +and Solomon's Rod, and Non-resistance, and Human Government, and +Communism, and Individualism, and Unitarianism, and Theodore Parkerism, +and Spiritualism, and Vegetarianism, and Teetotalism, and Deism, and +Atheism, and Clairvoyance, and Andrew Jackson Davis, and the American +Congress, and Quakerism, and William Henry Channing, and his journey to +England, and Free-soil, and the Public Lands, and the Common Right to +the Soil, and Rent, and Interest, and Capital, and Labor, and +Fourierism, and Congeniality of Spirit, and Natural Affinities, and +Domestic Difficulties, and--the Good time Coming. All were full of +reform, and most were wild and fanatical. Some regarded marriage as +unnatural, and pleaded for Free-love as the law of life. Some were for +Communism, but differed as to the form which it ought to assume. One +contended that all should be perfectly free,--that each should be a law +unto himself, and should work, and rest, and eat, and drink, as his own +free spirit should prompt him. Another said that the principle had been +tried, and had failed,--that some were anxious to do all the eating, and +sleeping, and loving, and left others to do all the working. Joseph +Treat was there, advocating Atheism, and defending the right of men and +women, married or single, to give free play to native tendencies and +sexual affinities. But Treat was indifferently clad, and not well +washed, and he was evidently no great favorite. * * * Most were in favor +of non-resistance, and full individual freedom. To acknowledge the right +of human government and of human laws, was treason to humanity. Man is a +law to himself. He is his own governor. The Protestant principle of the +right of private judgment and liberty of conscience strikes at the root +of all the governments on earth. Each one's nature is his own sole law. +The one principle of duty is, for every one to do that which is right in +his own eyes. The principle of the Anti-Slavery Society means that, and +neither more nor less. And the Anti-Slavery Society will, after +emancipating the negro, destroy all the governments, remodel all the +laws and institutions, and emancipate all the nations of the earth. Of +course the laws of marriage will fall to the ground. Why not? They +originated only with men,--with men who lived in darker times, and who +were less developed, than we. It would be strange if children could make +laws fit to govern men. And with the laws of marriage will go the laws +of property in land. Land was common property at first, and what right +had any one to make it private? The first man who appropriated land was +a thief. And those who inherited it from him were receivers of stolen +goods. And the title that was vicious at first could never be made valid +by time. The continuance of a wrong can never make it right. Allow that +men have a right to the land in consequence of long possession and +inheritance, and you must allow that men may have a right to their +slaves. The right to land, and the right to slaves, are not so different +as some would suppose. What is man's right to his own body worth, if he +is deprived of his right to the land? Man lives from the land, and +unless he has a right to the land, he can have no right to life. A right +to life implies a right to the land. Men live _on_ the land as well as +_from_ it; and if they have not a right to the land, they can have no +right to live. And man has a right to perfect freedom. Life without +freedom is slavery; and slavery is the extinction of all rights, the +right to life included. And woman has equal rights with man. And +children have equal rights with either. The idea that human beings have +no rights till they are twenty-one, is monstrous. What mighty change is +it that takes place at the moment a person reaches the age of +twenty-one, that he should be a slave a moment before, and a free man a +moment after? No change at all takes place. The rights of a human being +are the gift of Nature, and not the gift of the law. Who authorized men +to make laws for one another? In making men different from each other, +Nature has made it impossible for one man to legislate wisely for +another. The majority have a right to rule themselves, but they have no +fight to rule the minority. All rights are the rights of individuals, +and the rights of individuals composing a minority, are the same as the +rights of individuals composing a majority. A man may elect a +representative; but he cannot be bound by a representative elected by +others. Children should be educated, not by force or authority, but by +attraction. The assumption of authority over a child by a parent is +usurpation; the use of authority over a child is tyranny. The +individuality of a child is its life, and life is sacred. To destroy +individuality is murder. We have no right to take Nature's place, and +make a human being something different from what she has formed him. +Solomon's rod and Paul's authority are alike immoral. All should be +governed by their attractions, like the orbs of heaven, and the +constituents of the earth. The law of Nature is one, both for living men +and dead matter. Our sympathies and affinities are our only rulers. They +are ourselves,--our best selves,--and to allow either law or ruler to +interfere with them, is self-destruction. We are no longer ourselves +when we allow ourselves to be controlled by the will or power of +another. Animals have equal rights with man. The poet was right when he +said, + + "Take not away the life thou canst not give, + For all things have an equal right to live." + +How _can_ man have a right to take away the life of an animal? The lower +animals occupied the world before man, and man, a later comer, could not +abrogate the prior rights of his predecessors. The use of animal food is +unnatural. It is unhealthy. In feeding on other living creatures man +degrades, corrupts, and then destroys himself. And vegetables, grains, +and fruits should be taken in their natural state. The art of cooking is +an unnatural innovation. The first of our race did not cook. Man is the +only cooking animal, and he is the only sickly one. He is the only one +that loses his teeth, or suffers from indigestion. Teetotalism is +binding on all. Alcohol is an unnatural product. Man is the only being +unnatural enough to drink it. Grapes are good, and so is grain; but +wine, and beer, and spirits, are a trinity of devils, which destroy the +bodies and torment the souls of unnatural men. "There is no God," said +one. "Gods and devils are alike fantastic creatures of the erring mind +of man." "But there _must_ be a God," said another. "All nature cries +aloud there is a God. Our own hearts' instincts--our highest +intuitions,--assure us there is. As well deny the universe, and the +primal intuitions of humanity, as the being of God. A God and a future +life are necessities of human nature. And there is, _without_ us, a +supply for every want _within_ us. As soon will you find a race of +beings with appetites for food, for whom no food is provided, as a race +with longings for God and desires for immortality, while no God and +immortality exist to meet those longings, to satisfy those desires." +"But if there be a God to answer to our longings, and a blessed +immortality to satisfy our desires, why not a devil to answer to our +fears, and a hell to answer to our guilty terrors? And would a God leave +us without a revelation of his will." "The instincts of our nature are +the revelation of God's will. To obey our instincts is to obey the law +of God." "Then is the law of God as various as men's natural tendencies? +Does the murderer, whose tendency is to kill, obey the law of God, as +well as the victim who struggles to escape his doom? And does the eagle +obey the law of God in pouncing on the dove, and the dove in seeking to +evade its talons? Is every tendency the law of God? If it be the will of +God that the powerful tendencies of some should neutralize the feebler +tendencies of others, is not might, right? And if might be right, why +murmur at anything that is? For everything that is, exists by virtue of +its might: and every thing that perishes, perishes in virtue of its +weakness. Are you not sanctioning the doctrine of the Optimist, and +saying with Pope, + + "In spite of sense, in erring reason's spite, + One truth is clear--whatever _is_, is RIGHT." + +"Whatever is, _is_ right," says another. "It is the result of eternal +wisdom, of almighty power, and infinite love. God is all perfect, and He +is all in all. A perfect God could have nothing short of a perfect +object in all His works, a perfect motive prompting Him, a perfect rule +to guide Him; and, as the author of all existence, a perfect material +out of which to make the creatures of His love. All is perfect. It is +men's own imperfection that makes them think otherwise." "All is +perfect," you say, "yet man is _imperfect_; and his imperfection makes +him think other things imperfect. All is perfect, yet something is +imperfect; and that something is the most perfect or the least imperfect +creature in existence." "Imperfection itself is a part of perfection," +says the Optimist. "As discords are necessary to the highest musical +compositions; so imperfection is necessary to the highest perfection." + +"The most difficult point of all," says a philosophical Unitarian, "is +that of necessity. Every thing must have a cause. Man's actions are the +result of physical causes; yet man is consciously free." "Man is no more +free than the planets," says an Atheist. "He _acts_ freely, as the +planets do,--that is, he acts in harmony with his tendencies,--in +harmony with the causes of his actions,--the causes of his actions cause +them by causing him to will them, by inclining him to do them; and the +causes of planetary action produce that action in the same way: but the +freedom and the necessity are the same in the one case as in the other. +All is free, and all is bound. The chain is infinite, eternal, and +almighty. The difference between man and a planet is, that man is +conscious of his acts, and the planet is not." "Then duty is a dream," +said a third, "and conscience a delusion; and responsibility a fiction; +and virtue and vice are alike unworthy of either praise or blame, reward +or punishment." "A tree is not responsible," said the Necessitarian, +"yet we cut it down, if it bears no fruit; and we cut off the natural +branches, and insert new scions, if its fruit is not to our liking. A +musquito is irresponsible, yet we kill it when it gives us pain. A horse +is irresponsible, yet we caress it when it gives us pleasure." "So man +is no more than a tree, a musquito, or a horse! And selfishness is the +measure of our duty! We caress or kill as we are pleased or pained." And +so the conversation ran on in one party. + +In another the Bible is the subject of conversation. But here all are +agreed on the principal point. No one regards it as of supernatural +origin, or of Divine authority. The question is, whether the +Anti-Slavery Society shall acknowledge that the clergy are right in +saying that the Bible sanctions Slavery. "That it does sanction Slavery +is certain," says one. "Abraham was a slave-holder, a slave-trader, and +a slave-breeder. Isaac inherited his slave property. Jacob had slaves, +and had offspring by two of them. Moses allows the Jews to buy up the +nations round about them, and to hold them as slaves, as a _possession_, +and to transmit them as an inheritance to their children for ever. The +Decalogue recognizes slaves as property. Jesus never condemns +slave-holding, and Paul returns a fugitive, to his master. Take the +clergy at their word. Acknowledge that their sacred book does sanction +Slavery. Acknowledge that it allows a master to flog his slave to death, +on the ground that the slave is his money. Acknowledge too that it +allows the slave-holder to make his female slaves his concubines. +Acknowledge every thing. Take the preachers' side in the matter, and you +will shock the preachers, and you will shock the public, and cause them +to give up the defence of Slavery." "The slave-holders are not governed +by the Bible," says another. "Their appeal to it is only a pretence,--an +_argumentum ad hominem_. They favor Slavery because it is profitable, +and because they like it. Make it unprofitable, and they will soon find +a different interpretation for the Bible." "Show that the Bible is no +authority,--that it is merely a human book,--and you take away their +argument for Slavery," said one. "Their argument is force," said +another, "and you will never abolish Slavery till you take up arms and +crush the tyrants." "But the Bible is the question," says a third. "Call +a Convention to discuss the Bible," said I, and the Convention was +accordingly called. + +And thus the conversation ran in private circles, during the intervals +of the public meetings. + +I had supposed, that as the people of America had got a Democratic form +of government, no further reforms were necessary, except the Abolition +of Slavery. I now found however that there were more Reformers, and a +greater variety of Reformers, in the circle into which I had fallen, +than in England. There was nothing right,--nothing as it ought to be. +The family, the church, the school, the government, religion, morals, +and even nature were all wrong. The world was full of prejudice. We were +heirs of all the mistakes of our forefathers for a thousand generations. +"Every thing wants destroying," said one, "that every thing may be +created anew." The oracle of the universe cries, "Behold, I make all +things new;" and that oracle we ought to echo; and on that oracle we +ought to act. "'When I was a child, I thought as a child, I spoke as a +child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away +childish things.' Such was the language of the great Reformer of +antiquity. The human race should adopt the same language, and follow the +great example. The race should say, 'When _I_ was a child, _I_ thought +as a child, _I_ spoke as a child, _I_ understood as a child; but now, +having become a man, _I_ will put away childish things.' I will put away +my childish thoughts on religion, on science, on morals, on government, +on education, on marriage, on slavery, on war, on every thing. The fact +that they are old, is a proof they are wrong. The clothes which fit a +child _cannot_ fit a man. The notions, the institutions, the laws, which +were good for the world's infancy, cannot be good for its manhood." "And +they _shall_ be put away, so far as I am concerned," said a lady. "And +they shall be put away, so far as I am concerned," answered another. "Ye +are born again," says a third. "That noble declaration proves you new +creatures. Old things are passed away; behold, all things _are_ become +new." + +A thousand wild sentiments were uttered; a thousand extravagant things +were said; and many unwise things were done. It was plain that a license +of thought was preparing the way, had already prepared the way, for a +license of deed. This license produced a fearful amount of mischief +before long. It had produced no little then. Many a domestic +schism,--many a disgraceful alliance,--many a broken heart,--were the +result of those lawless, wanton speculations. + +And some came to see their folly and repented in part. Lucy Stone +declared she would never marry according to law; but she married +according to law in the end, contenting herself with recording a vain +and foolish protest. Harriet K. Hunt would never pay any more taxes till +she was allowed to vote, and was eligible to the Presidency of the +United States. Whether she has paid her tax or not we do not know; but +she has not yet got a vote, and is certainly not yet the President of +the United States. Mrs. C. L. made a declaration, the publication of +which covered her hard-working and excellent husband with shame; but she +too has since seen her error, and endeavored to make all things right. + +It was rather amusing, but somewhat startling,--it was very bewildering, +yet very instructive,--to listen to all the projects and theories of a +multitude of thoughtful people, suddenly emancipated from religion and +moral obligation, and from law and custom, and to speculate on what +might be the result of so much extravagance. It put humanity before one +in a new light. It was a new revelation. And all those people were +educated up to the American standard. And they were all in tolerable +circumstances. Some were rich, and most were owners of the lands on +which they lived. Several of them had been ministers of the Gospel. Many +of them were authors. And their appearance and manners were often equal +to those of the best. And some of them could hardly be excelled as +public speakers. Some of the lady speakers were the best I ever heard. +After mingling in such society, and witnessing such a strange breaking +up of "the fountains of the great deep" of thought, and fancy, and +animal passion, it is hard to say what might not take place in the +world, if the spirit of infidel reform which is pervading the nations +should become general. + +I returned to my home neither a better nor a wiser man. But I was full +of thought. I had been afraid that in the excitement of controversy, and +under the smart of persecution, I had gone too far. But here were people +who had gone immeasurably farther. I was afraid I had been too rash. But +here were pleasant looking and educated people, compared with whom I was +the perfection of sobriety. And the sense of my comparative moderation +quieted my fears, prevented salutary investigation, and prepared me to +go still farther in the way of doubt. New books were placed in my hands, +all favorable to anti-christian views. I got new friends and +acquaintances, and all were of the doubting, unbelieving class. Several +of them were atheists, and insinuated doubts with regard to the +foundation of all religious belief. Till my settlement in America I had +continued to believe, not only in God, and providence, and prayer, but +in immortality; and to look on Atheism as the extreme of folly. But now +my faith in those doctrines began to be shaken. Instead of drawing back +from the gulf of utter unbelief, and retracing my steps toward Christ as +I had partly hoped, I got farther astray; and though I did not plunge +headlong into Atheism, I came near to the dreadful abyss, and was not a +little bewildered with the horrible mists that floated round its brink. + +Thus my hopes of calm and quiet thought, and of a sober reconsideration +of the steps I had taken in the path of doubt and unbelief, were all, +alas! exploded, and the last state of my soul was worse than the first. + +To make things worse, I got into trouble with my Christian neighbors. My +alienation from Christ had already produced in me a deterioration of +character. I was not exactly aware of it at the time, and if I had been +told of it, I might not have been able to believe it; but such was +really the case. The matter is clear to me now past doubt. I had become +less courteous, less conciliatory, less agreeable. I had discarded, to +some extent, the Christian doctrines of meekness and humility. My temper +had suffered. I was sooner provoked, and was less forgiving, I was more +prompt in asserting my rights, and more prone perhaps to regard as +rights what were no such things. And I made myself enemies in +consequence, and got into unhappy disputes and painful excitements. + +I imagined, I suppose, while in England, that the disturbers of my peace +were all outside me, and that when I went to America I should leave them +all behind; but I see now that many of them were within me, and that I +carried them with me over the sea, to my far-off Western home. And they +gave me as much trouble in my new abode as they had given me in my old +one. It is the state of our minds that determines the measure of our +bliss. As Burns says, + + "If happiness have not her seat + And centre in the breast, + We may be wise, or rich, or great, + But never can be blest. + No treasures, nor pleasures. + Can make us happy long; + The _heart_ ay's the part ay + That makes us right or wrong." + +And my heart was out of tune, and tended to put everything around me out +of tune. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +THE STORY OF MY DESCENT FROM THE FAITH OF MY CHILDHOOD, TO DOUBT AND +UNBELIEF. + + +My parents were Methodists of the strictest kind, and they did their +utmost to make their children Methodists. And they were very successful. +They had eleven children, ten of which became members of the Methodist +Society before they were twenty years of age; and even the odd one did +not escape the influence of religion altogether. + +I was a believer in God and Christ, in duty and immortality, from my +earliest days. And my faith was strong. Things spiritual were as real to +me as things natural. Things seen and things unseen, things temporal and +things eternal, formed one great whole,--one solemn and boundless +universe. I lived and breathed in a spiritual world. + +My parents were rigorously consistent. They were true Christians. They +not only talked, but looked and lived as persons who felt themselves in +the presence of a great and holy God, and in the face of an awful +eternity; and the influence of their godly life, and daily prayers, and +solemn counsels fell on me with a power that was irresistible. + +If the doctrine taught me in my early days had been the doctrine of +Christ, and the doctrine of Christ alone, in a form adapted to my +youthful mind, the probability is, that I should have grown up to +manhood, and passed through life a happy, useful and consistent +Christian. But I was taught other doctrines. Though my father and mother +taught me little but what was Christian, doctrines were taught me by +others that shocked both my reason and my sense of right. I was taught, +among other things, that in consequence of the sin of Adam, God had +caused me to come into the world utterly depraved, and incapable, till I +was made over again, of thinking one good thought, of speaking one good +word, or of doing one good deed. I felt that I did think good thoughts, +and that I had good feelings, and that I both said and did good things. +But this I was told was a great delusion:--that nothing was good, and +that nothing was pleasing to God, unless it came from faith in Christ. +But I _had_ faith in Christ. I believed in Him with all my heart. I had +believed in Him from the first. The answer was that I had believed with +a _common_ kind of faith, but that it was another kind of faith that was +necessary to salvation, and that whatsoever did not spring from this +other kind of faith, was sin. And I was given to understand, that if I +thought otherwise, it was because of the naughtiness of my heart, which, +I was told, was deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. What +this other kind of faith was, I did not know, and could not learn. I was +then told that the natural man could not understand the things of the +Spirit, and that before I could understand them, I must experience a +change from nature to grace; all of which was past my comprehension. I +was then informed that I must wait till God revealed those things unto +me by His Spirit. But this made the matter no plainer. + +I was further taught, that I was, in some way, answerable for Adam's +sin,--that God made Adam the federal head of all mankind, and that all +were bound by what he did;--that if he had done right, all would have +come into the world pure, and good, and happy, and sure of eternal life; +but that through his sin, we wore all born, not only utterly depraved, +but guilty and liable to eternal damnation. + +Then followed strange things about satisfaction to offended justice, +trust in Christ's merits and righteousness, justification, regeneration, +and sanctification, all mysteries as dark to me as night. + +Sometime after, I found in my Catechism the doctrine of God's absolute +and infinite fore-knowledge,--the doctrine that from eternity God knew +who should be saved and who should be lost. This gave me the most +terrible shock of all. It was plain that my doom was fixed forever. For +if it was certainly foreknown, it must he unchangeably fixed. + +These dreadful doctrines filled me with horror. They all but drove me +mad. For a time, when I was about eight or nine years old, they _did_ +drive me mad. They were more than my nature could bear. I felt that if +things were as these doctrines represented them to be, the ways of God +were horribly unjust. And as I could do no other than believe the +doctrines, my whole soul rose in rebellion against God. I supposed, as a +matter of course, that I should be sent to hell for my rebelliousness; +still I rebelled. It seemed a dreadful thing that God should hang one's +eternal destiny on things that were not in one's own power. I thought +that if people could not do all that God required of them, He ought to +allow them to fall back into their original nothingness. My mind +especially revolted against the arrangement which God was said to have +made with Adam, and the terrible consequences entailed thereby on his +posterity. To bring men into being, and force them to live on forever, +and at the same time to hang their eternal destiny on another, or on +something beyond their power, seemed dreadfully unjust. I felt that +every man ought to be allowed a fair trial for himself, and to stand or +fall by his own doings. And nothing could make me feel that I was really +answerable for the sin of Adam, any more than that Adam was answerable +for my sins. And how God could impute one man's sin to another, was past +all comprehension. And I felt, that if matters were managed as they were +represented to be, the government of the universe was not right. + +But supposing that God had a right to do as He pleased, and not knowing +that He was so good that it was impossible that He should ever please to +do wrong, I suffered in silence. But I often said to myself, 'God does +not deal fairly with mankind,' and my feelings towards Him were anything +but those of love and gratitude. So far was I from feeling any +obligation to Him, that I looked on my existence as a tremendous curse, +and I would gladly have consented to undergo any amount of torment, for +any length of time short of eternity, for the privilege of being allowed +to return to my original nothingness. The thought that even this was too +much to be hoped for,--that it was fixed unchangeably that I must live +on forever, and that there was but one dark path, which I might never be +able to find, by which I could escape the unbounded and unending +torments of hell, darkened all the days of my early youth, and made me +exceedingly miserable. Some kind of blind unbelief, or a partial +spiritual slumber at length came over me, and made it possible for me to +live. But even then my life was anything but a happy one. + +I cannot give the story of my life at length; but I afterwards got over +the difficulties of my early creed, or exchanged the blasphemous horrors +of theology for the teachings of Christ, and became a cheerful, joyous +Christian, and a happy and successful Christian minister. + +As I have said in Chapter fourteenth, I regarded the Bible as the Word +of God from my early childhood. I believed every word to be true, and +every command to be binding. My faith, at first, rested on the testimony +of my parents and teachers, and of those among whom I lived. Every one I +heard speak of the Book, spoke of it as divine, and the thought that it +might be otherwise did not, that I remember, ever enter my mind. This my +hereditary faith in the Bible was strengthened by the instinctive +tendencies of my mind to believe in God, and in all the great doctrines +which the book inculcated. + +The first attempt to _prove_ the divinity of the Bible, of which I have +any recollection, was made by my mother, while I was yet a child. What +_led_ her to make the attempt I do not remember. It might be some +perplexing question that I had asked her; for I used to propose to her +puzzling questions sometimes. Her argument was,--'Bad men _could_ not +write such a book, and good men _would_ not. It must therefore, have +been written by God.' Another argument that I remember to have heard in +those days was,--'No man would write the Bible who did not know it to be +true; because it tells liars that their portion will be in the lake of +fire and brimstone.' There was also an impression among such people as +my parents, that the Bible was so good a book, and that it wrought with +such a blessed power upon their souls, that it was impossible it should +be written by any one but God. The last had probably the greatest effect +upon their minds. Then they found in the Bible so many things in harmony +with their best affections, their moral instincts, and their religious +feelings, that they felt as if they had proof of its heavenly origin in +their own souls. I came, at one period of my life, to look on these +arguments with contempt. And it is certain, that to give them much force +with men of logical habits, they would require qualification, and +considerable illustration. But they are none of them so foolish as I +once supposed. As for the last two, they are, when presented in a proper +way, unanswerable. + +There was another argument that was sometimes used, namely,--that though +the different portions of the Bible were written by persons of widely +distant ages, of different occupations and ranks, and of very different +degrees of culture, they all aim at one end, all bear one way, and all +tend to make men good and happy to the last degree. This is a great +fact, and when properly considered, may well be accepted as a proof that +the Bible, as a whole, is from God. + +What effect these arguments had on my mind in my early days, I do not +exactly remember, but the probability is, that they helped to strengthen +my instinctive and hereditary faith in the divine origin of the Bible. + +This my instinctive and hereditary faith was a great and beneficent +power, and would have proved an inestimable blessing, if it had been +preserved unshaken through life. And I am sorry it was not. I have no +sympathy with those who speak of doubt as a blessing, and who recommend +people to demolish their first belief, that they may raise a better +structure in its place. We do not destroy our first and lower life, to +prepare the way for a higher spiritual life. Nor do we kill the body to +secure the development of the soul. Nor do we extinguish our natural +home affections, in order to kindle the fires of friendship, patriotism, +and philanthropy. The higher life grows out of the lower. The lower +nourishes and sustains the higher. At first we are little more than +vegetables: then we become animals: then men; and last of all, sages, +saints, and angels. But the vegetable nature lives through all, and is +the basis and strength of the animal; and the animal nature lives, and +is the basis and strength of the human; and the human lives, and is the +basis and strength of the spiritual and divine. And the higher forms of +life are all the more perfect, for the vigor and fulness of those by +which they are preceded. + +And so with faith. Instinctive faith is the proper basis for the faith +that comes from testimony. And the faith which rests on testimony is the +proper basis for that which comes from reason, investigation, +experience, and knowledge. And in no case ought the first to be +demolished to make way for the second, or the second discarded to make +way for the third. To kill a tree in order to graft on it new scions, +would be madness; and to kill, or discard, or in any way to slight or +injure our first instinctive child-like faith, to graft on our souls a +higher one, would be equal madness. + +Our instincts are infallible. The faith to which they constrain us is +always substantially right and true, and no testimony, no reasonings, no +philosophy, ought to be allowed to set it aside. Testimony, and science, +and experience, may be allowed to develop it, enlighten it, and modify +it, but not to displace or destroy it. It is a divine inspiration, and +is essential to the life and vigor of the soul, to the beauty and +perfection of the character, and to the fulness and enjoyment of life. +If you lose it, you will have to find it again, or be wretched. If you +kill it, you will have to bring it to life again, or perish. It is a +necessary support of all other faith, and a needful part of all +religion, of all virtue, and of all philosophy. Skeptics may call it +prejudice; but it is a kind of prejudice which, as Burke very truly +says, is wiser than all our reasonings. + +I did not fall out with my instinctive belief, though I did not know its +value; but I was so formed, that I longed for proofs or corroborating of +its truth. I wanted to be able to do something more, when questioned by +doubters or unbelievers as to the grounds of my faith, than to say, 'I +_feel_ that it is true;' or to refer to the testimony of my parents and +teachers; and I did not rest till I could do so. + +I had a dear, good friend, Mr. Hill, a schoolmaster, a local preacher, +and a scholar, who, believing that I had talents to fit me for a +travelling preacher, and desiring to prepare me for that high office, +kindly undertook to aid me in my studies. After he had taught me +something of English grammar, he began to teach me Latin. When he had +got me through the elementary books, and exercised me well in one of the +Roman historians, he lent me a copy of Grotius, on the truth of the +Christian religion, and recommended me to translate it into English, and +then to translate it back again into Latin. 'It contains the best +arguments,' said he, 'in favor of Christianity, and it is written in +pure and elegant Latin; and by the course I recommend, you will both +improve yourself greatly in Latin, and obtain a large amount of useful +religious knowledge.' + +I did as I was bid, and the result was truly delightful. I found in the +book proofs both of the existence of God, and of the truth of +Christianity, which seemed to me most decisive. When I had got through +the book, I felt as if I could convince the whole infidel world. By +translating the work first into English and then back into Latin, and +repeating my translations to my teacher without manuscript, I got the +whole book, with all its train of reasoning, so fixed in mind, that I +was able to produce the arguments whenever I found it necessary. I +could, in fact, repeat almost the whole work from beginning to end. + +I can hardly describe the pleasure I felt when I found that my faith had +a solid foundation to rest upon,--that after having believed +instinctively, and on the testimony of my parents and teachers, I could +both justify my faith to my own mind, and give sound reasons for it to +any who might question me on the subject. + +I afterwards got Watson's Theological Institutes, which amplified some +of the arguments of Grotius, and added fresh ones. Here too I found +large quotations from Howe's LIVING TEMPLE, an argument for the +existence of God drawn from the wonderful structure of the human body, +and considerable portions of Paley's work on NATURAL THEOLOGY. +About the same time I read the Lectures of Doddridge, which gave me a +more comprehensive view than either Grotius or Watson, both of the +evidences of the existence of God, and those of the truth of +Christianity. I afterwards met with Dwight's Theology, in which I found +a number of things which interested me, though some of his reasonings +seemed mere metaphysical fallacies. + +I next read Adam Clarke's Commentary, where I found, besides his +arguments for the existence of God, abundance of quotations from Paley, +Lardner, Michælis, and others, on the credibility of the New Testament +history, and the truth of Christianity. His _a priori_ argument for the +existence of God seemed only a play on words. His other arguments were +much the same as Watson's. + +About this time I read Mosheim's History of the Church. This did me +harm. It is a bad book. It is, in truth, no real history of the Church +at all, but a miserable chronicle of the heresies, inconsistencies and +crimes of the worldly and priestly party in the Church, who perverted +the religion of Christ to worldly, selfish purposes. The whole tendency +of the book is to put the sweet image of Christ and the glories of His +religion, out of sight, and to present to you in their place, a +distressing picture of human weakness and human wickedness. It is a +great pity that this wretched pretence to a church history was not long +ago displaced by a work calculated to do some justice, and to render +some service, to the cause of Christ. + +I afterwards read works in favor of Christianity and against infidelity, +by Robert Hall, Olinthus Gregory, Dr. Chalmers, Le Clerc, Hartwell +Horne, S. Thompson, Bishop Watson, Bishop Pearson, Bishop Porteus. I +also read Leland's View of Deistical Writers, Leslie's Short and Easy +Method with Deists, Faber's Difficulties of Infidelity, Fuller's Gospel +its Own Witness, Butler's Analogy, Baxter's Unreasonableness of +Infidelity, and his Evidences of Christianity, Simpson's Plea for +Religion and the Sacred Writings, Ryan on the Beneficial Effects of +Christianity, Cave on the Early Christians, the Debate between R. Owen +and A. Campbell, Scotch Lectures, G. Campbell on Miracles, Ray's Wisdom +of God in Creation, Constable's History of Converts from Infidelity, +Newton on the Prophecies, Locke on the Reasonableness of Christianity, +Nelson on the Cause and Cure of Infidelity, Priestley's Institutes of +Natural and Revealed Religion, Jews' Letters to Voltaire, and works by +Beattie, Soame Jenyns, West, Lyttleton, Ogilvie, Addison, Gilbert +Wakefield and others. I also read sermons on different branches of the +evidences, by Tillotson, Barrow, and others. One of the last and one of +the best works I read on the Evidences of Christianity, were some +sermons by Dr. Channing. These sermons presented the historical argument +in a simpler and more impressive form than any work I had ever read. + +This reading of works on the evidences did not prove an unmixed +blessing. I am not certain that it did not prove a serious injury. + +1. In the first place, the works I read weakened, in time, and then +destroyed, my instinctive and hereditary faith, and gave me nothing so +satisfactory in its place. They filled my mind with thoughts of things +outside me, and even outside Christianity itself, which did not take a +firm and lasting hold of my affections. They seemed to take me from +solid ground and living realities, into regions of cold, thin air, and +bewildering mists and clouds. + +2. In the second place, the writers disagreed among themselves. They +differed as to the value of different kinds of evidence. Some were all +for external evidences, and some were all for internal evidences. Some +said there was no such thing as internal evidence. 'The very idea of +such a thing,' said they, 'supposes that man is able to judge what +doctrines are true, or rational, or worthy of God; and what precepts, +laws, institutions, and examples are right and good; and man has no such +power. Reason has no right to judge revelation. All that reason has a +right to do is to judge as to the matter of fact whether the Bible and +Christianity be really a revelation from God or not, and, if it be, what +is its purport. As to the reasonableness of the doctrines, and the +goodness of the precepts, reason has no right or power to judge at all.' + +Others contended that miracles could never prove the truth or divinity +of any system of doctrines or morals that did not commend itself to the +judgments and consciences of enlightened, candid, and virtuous men. +These two parties, between them, condemned both kinds of evidence. + +3. Then thirdly; some used unsound arguments. They used arguments +founded on mistakes with regard to matters of fact. Grotius, for +instance, based two of his arguments for the existence of God on +misconceptions of this kind. 'That there is a God,' said Grotius, 'is +evident from the fact, that water, which naturally runs downward to the +level of the sea, is made to run upwards through subterranean channels, +from the sea to the tops of the mountains, and thus supply springs and +streams to water the earth, and supply the wants of its inhabitants.' +But the waters are _not_ forced upwards from the sea to the mountains in +this way: they are carried to the hills in the form of vapors. + +True, the evidence for the existence of God supplied by the conversion +of water into vapor, and by the many beneficent ends answered thereby, +is as real and as convincing a proof of God's existence as any evidence +that could have been furnished by such an arrangement as that imagined +by Grotius. But I did not see this at the time; hence the discovery that +the argument of Grotius was unsound, had an unfavorable effect on my +mind. + +'Again,' says Grotius, 'it is plain that the world must have had a +beginning, from the existence of mountains. For if the earth had existed +from eternity, the mountains, which the rains and floods are always +reducing, washing down particles into the valleys and plains, would long +ago have disappeared, and every part of the earth would long before this +have been quite level.' Here was another error. Grotius was not aware, +it would seem, that there are forces continually at work in the interior +of the earth making _new_ mountains,--that some portions of the earth +are continually rising, and others gradually subsiding. + +4. Several of the arguments which I met with in Doddridge's great work I +found to be unsound. And there were others which, if I did not discover +to be fallacious, I felt to be unsatisfactory. They were, in truth, as I +afterwards found, mere metaphysical puzzles. + +5. Among the most honest and earnest works on the evidences that came in +my way, were those of Richard Baxter. But many of his arguments were +unsatisfactory. Among other things of doubtful value, he gave a number +of ghost stories, and accounts of witches and their doings, and of +persons possessed by evil spirits, and even of men and women who had +sold themselves to the devil, and who had been seized and carried away +by him bodily, in the presence of their neighbors and friends. Then +some of his arguments took for granted points of importance which I was +particularly anxious to have proved. Much of his reasoning seemed +conclusive enough, but when sound and unsound arguments are so blended +in the same book, the unsound ones seem to lessen the credit and the +force of the sound ones. + +On the subject of the evidences, Baxter, like Grotius, was behind the +times. His works might be satisfactory enough to people of his own day, +but they were not adapted to the minds of people of the present day. + +6. The works of Paley and Butler gave me the greatest satisfaction. +Paley, both in his Natural Theology and in his evidences of +Christianity, seemed to be almost all that I could desire, and I rested +in him for a length of time with great satisfaction. But I read him only +once, and I ought, for a time at least, to have made him my daily study, +and imprinted his work on my mind, as I did the work of Grotius. + +7. Many writers on the Bible attempted to settle points which could not +be settled. They tried to make out the authors of all the books in the +Bible, and this was found impossible. Different writers ascribed books +to different authors. The Book of Job was ascribed by one writer to Job +himself, by another to Moses, and by a third to Elihu. The Book of +Ecclesiastes was ascribed by some to Solomon, by others to a writer of a +later age. Writers differed with regard to the authorship of many of the +Psalms and many of the Proverbs. They differed with regard to the author +of the Epistle to the Hebrews, and the Book of Revelation, and even with +regard to some of the Gospels. They multiplied controversies instead of +ending them, and in some cases made matters seem doubtful that were not +so. + +8. The writers on evidences often attempted to prove points which were +not true, and which, if they had been true, would have been no credit to +the Bible or Christianity. Some of them spent more time in laboring to +prove that Christianity taught doctrines which it did not teach, than in +proving that the doctrines which it did teach were 'worthy of all +acceptation.' Some left the impression that Christianity was a mass of +vain, improbable, and incomprehensible doctrines, calculated neither to +satisfy man's intellect nor his conscience, neither to renovate his +heart, nor improve his life, nor increase his happiness. Such writers +served the cause of infidelity rather than the cause of Christ. + +9. Some, like Hartwell Horne, gave so many rules for interpreting the +Bible, and required such a multitude of rare qualifications to fit a man +for being a Bible student, that they left the impression on one's mind +that the Book must be utterly unintelligible to people at large. And +they directed the attention of their readers so much to matters of +little or no moment, that they lost sight of the matters which the Bible +was specially intended to teach and impress on men's minds and hearts. + +10. Many dwelt so much on things doubtful, that they left the impression +on the minds of their readers, that there was little or nothing but what +_was_ doubtful. They busied themselves so much in answering objections, +that they left the impression that there was little or nothing but what +was open to objections. They had so little to say about what was true, +and good, and glorious beyond all question, that they left people in +doubt whether there was any thing past question or controversy in +Christianity or not. + +11. And many treated the subject so coolly or carelessly, that they +abated rather than increased the interest of their readers in religious +matters. + +12. And the great mass of writers followed one another so +servilely,--they wrote so much by rote, and so little from experience or +real knowledge, that all seemed cold and formal, uninteresting and +unprofitable. It was a rare thing to come across a writer that touched +the heart, or even satisfied the judgment. + +13. And they often labored hard and long to prove points of little or no +importance, while points of greatest moment were left untouched, or +handled so unskillfully as to do harm rather than good. + +14. And almost all had unauthorized and unscriptural theories of +Scripture inspiration, which it was impossible for them to prove, and +which they so manifestly failed to prove, that a critical reader could +not but see their failure. They tried to justify expressions and actions +which could not be justified, and to reconcile differences which did +not admit of reconciliation. + +15. Even the historical arguments of Paley and Grotius consisted of so +many particulars, and carried one so far back into regions with which +one was so imperfectly acquainted, and into states of society which it +was so difficult for one to realize, that it was impossible they should +have much power over the heart; and the little they had was soon lost, +when their books were laid aside. Even when we remembered the facts, and +could run them over in our minds, we could not feel the force of the +argument based on them, or use it so as to make it felt by others. + +The historical argument drawn from miracles never exerted much +satisfying power on my mind for any length of time. I could remember +that it _had_ satisfied me once, but that was not to feel its satisfying +power then. And you could not go back to your books continually, and +pore over the arguments forever. So that long before I became a doubter, +I felt that the historical argument could never be useful to people +generally, either in producing faith where it was not, or in +perpetuating it where it was. I was sure that if mankind at large were +to be brought to receive and cherish Christianity, it must be by proofs +of a simpler and more popular kind, which people could feel, and carry +along with them in their hearts as well as in their heads. And now I see +most clearly that I was right. Miracles had a use, and I may show what +it was by and by; but it was not the use to which they have been so +often and so vainly applied. + +16. The writers on prophecy were as unsatisfactory as those on miracles. +They often handled the prophecies unfairly if not deceitfully. They +treated as absolute prophecies, prophecies which were expressly +conditional. And they lost sight of the fact, so plainly stated in +Jeremiah xviii, that all prophetic promises and threatenings are +conditional. Then they took one bit of a prophecy and left another: kept +out of sight predictions which had not been fulfilled, and dwelt +exclusively on phrases which had been fulfilled. + +They dealt deceitfully with history as well as prophecy. They made or +modified facts. They gave fanciful interpretations to prophecies. And +they tried to make prophecy prove what it could not prove, however +unquestionable and miraculous the fulfilment might be. The manner in +which Nelson and Keith dealt with prophecy was often childish, and even +dishonest. A careful examination of their works left a most painful +impression on my mind. + +What Albert Barnes says about much of the reasoning of preachers and +divines is applicable to this class of writers more than to some others. +'A great part of the reasoning founded upon prophecies is unsound. Much +of the reasoning employed by the early Christian Fathers, by the +Schoolmen, and by the Reformers had no intrinsic force: it was based on +ignorance and error. Yet theologians are prone to cling to it. They +forget the age in which they live. They linger, they live, among the +shades of the past. Their thoughts, their dialect, their way of +reasoning are all of other days. + +'The quality of another kind of reasoning common among divines is, that +it is not understood by the mass of men, and that it does not seem to be +understood by those who use it.' + +17. In the following paragraph he speaks important words about theology +as well as about theological reasoning. + +'There is much theology,' says he, 'that a good man cannot preach. It +would shock his own feelings; it would contradict his prayers; it would +be fatal to all his efforts to do good; it would drive off the sinner to +a hopeless distance, though he had begun to return to God; it would be +at war with the elementary convictions which men have of what must be +true. Among the doctrines of this theology are those,--that Christ died +for the salvation of only a part of mankind,--that we are to blame for +Adam's sin,--condemned for an act done ages before we were born. + +'The theology that should be preached to make the pulpit what it should +be, should be based on obvious and honest principles of Scripture +interpretation. The preacher is the interpreter of a book, and he should +be the voice, the organ, of its true and natural meaning. Nothing should +be misquoted; nothing should be perverted or misapplied. His +interpretation should be seen and felt to be in harmony with the scope, +the drift, the spirit, the aim of the Bible. The success of preaching +has been greatly hindered by false principles of Biblical +interpretation. In interpreting other books men have gone on rational +principles; but in interpreting the Bible they have gone on principles +quite irrational. They have sought for double senses, and mystical +meanings, and used texts as proofs of doctrines, that had no reference +to the doctrines whatever. Metaphors and symbols have had all possible +meanings forced on them. Infidels and men of the world are approached +with arguments that are little less than insults to their +understandings. They are disgusted, instead of being convinced. They are +led to look on the Bible with disdain. They are willing to remain +infidels, rather than become idiots. One is pained and sickened that +such a multitude of impertinent and inapplicable texts should be brought +as proofs of Christian doctrine;--texts applicable to anything else +rather than the points under consideration. Even Dr. Edwards misuses +texts of Scripture thus. The Bible is to be interpreted as other books +are. Men are not to hide themselves in the mist of a hidden meaning, and +shock the common sense of the world. Preachers should go on the +supposition, that in every congregation there are shrewd and sagacious +men, who can appreciate a good argument, and see the weakness of a bad +one; men who can appreciate a good sermon, if there be a good sermon to +be appreciated. For such, he may be assured, is the fact.' + +All these unwise things had a tendency to shake my faith in writers on +the evidences, to lessen my interest in the subject, to abate my +confidence in the knowledge and integrity of the authors, and to +diminish my faith in the supernatural origin of the Bible and +Christianity. + +18. The evidences that had most weight with me were the internal +evidences. But these were often handled in an unsatisfactory way. The +greater part of Soame Jenyns' little work was good, as far as it went; +but it went only a very short way. It took a step or two, in the most +difficult, doubtful, and uninviting part of the road, but it left the +vast paradise of internal evidences unexplored, and even unapproached. +His work was rather an apology for Christianity, proving that it was not +open to censure, than a demonstration of its incalculable worth and +power. + +I did not myself see clearly at the time, that the adaptation of +Christianity to man's wants, to man's nature, and its tendency to +promote man's temporal as well as his spiritual welfare, was really a +proof of its divine origin. I saw that it was a valid answer to the +infidel objection that it was useless or mischievous; but not that it +was a decisive proof of its divinity. Hence though I employed it as a +refutation of infidel charges against Christianity, I never pressed it +further. + +And though I got at length much larger views of the excellency of +Christianity than those presented by Soame Jenyns, I saw not half, I saw +not a tenth of its worth and glory. I saw not a tenth even of what I see +now. I now see there are no limits to the excellency of Christianity, or +to the power of the argument supplied by its glorious character, in +proof of its divinity. + +And the worth and excellency of Christianity you can carry continually +in your mind. They present themselves whenever you open the Gospels, or +look at Jesus. They move you whenever you think of the happy effect +Christianity has had on your own hearts and lives. They come to your +minds whenever you look on the prevailing vices and miseries of society, +which result from a want of Christianity. They touch your heart, as well +as convince your judgment. But I neither saw them in their true light +nor in their full extent before I fell into doubt; so that they were +unable to make up for the deficiency in the external evidences, and to +check my growing tendency to unbelief. + +19. There were other influences that helped me down to unbelief. +Negative criticism, pulling things to pieces with a view to find faults, +to which our modern philosophers give the fine name of _Analysis_, tends +to cause doubt about every thing. It eats out of one the very soul of +truth, of love, and of faith. It tends naturally to kill all our good +instincts and natural affections, and to render not only religion, but +philosophy, virtue and happiness impossible. The Cartesian system of +reasoning, which begins by calling in question every thing, and which +refuses to believe anything without formal proof, is essentially +vicious. The man who adopts it and carries it out thoroughly, must +necessarily become an infidel, not only in religion, but in morals and +philosophy. And he must become intolerably miserable, and destroy +himself, unless, like John S. Mill, he can find out some method of +deceiving himself. + +And this is the system of reasoning now in vogue. This vicious system I +adopted, and it hastened my fall into unbelief as a matter of course. +Not one of all the most important things on earth admits of proof in +this formal way. You cannot prove your own existence in this way. You +cannot prove the existence of the universe. You cannot prove the +existence of God. You cannot prove that there are such things as vice +and virtue, good and evil. You cannot prove that men ought to marry, +rear families, form governments, live in society, tell the truth, be +honest, restrain their appetites and passions, or abstain from treachery +and murder. All reasonings in favor of religion, virtue, society, +philosophy, must rest on assumptions,--must take a number of things for +granted,--must take for granted the truth and goodness of those +instincts, sentiments, and natural affections which constrain us to be +religious, social, and moral, independent of argument. All reasoning, to +be of any use, must begin, not with doubt, but belief. The reasoning +that begins with doubting every thing, and accepting nothing till it is +proved by formal argument, will end in doubt of every thing that ought +to be believed. It will end, not only in Atheism, but in boundless +immorality, and in utter wretchedness and ruin. The man who would not be +undone by his logic, must pity Descartes instead of admiring him, and +instead of following him go just the contrary way. Descartes made a fool +of himself, or his method of reasoning made a fool of him, the very +first time he used it. His very first argument was a fallacy and a +folly. He pretended, first, to doubt, and then to prove, his own +existence. His argument was, 'I think; therefore I _exist_:' as if he +could be more sure that he _thought_, than he was that he existed. He +took his existence for granted when he said 'I think.' + +20. Other things helped on the horrible change that was taking place in +my soul. I got a taste for reading a different kind of works from those +which I had been accustomed to read. I turned away from works on +religion and duty, and began to read the works of the critical, +destructive party. I turned away even from the best practical writers of +the orthodox school, such as Baxter, Tillotson and Barrow, and read +Theodore Parker, Martineau, W. F. Newman, W. J. Fox, and Froude. I also +read Carlyle, Emerson, and W. Mackay, the metaphysical bore, and C. +Mackay, the charming, fascinating, but not Christian poet. Theodore +Parker became my favorite among the prose writers. His beautiful style +and practical lessons had already reconciled me to his harsh expressions +about the Bible, and to his contemptuous treatment of miracles; and now +I had degenerated so far that I liked him for those very faults. + +I read the writings of the American Abolitionists, all of which tended +to draw me from the Church and the Bible, and to bring me more fully +under skeptical influences. I began to look more freely and frequently +into works of science, and most of those waged covert war with +supernaturalism, and sought to bring down the Bible and Christianity to +the level of ordinary human thought. All ideas of authority in books and +religious systems, in ecclesiastical and social institutions, gradually +faded away. All ideas of superhuman authority, or divine obligation, in +marriage, in home, and in family life vanished. All things lost their +sacredness, and came down to the vulgar level of mere human opinion, or +of personal interest, convenience, or pleasure. + +21. There was a change in my companions. Those who had high and holy +thoughts of all things, and whose meat and drink it was to do good, +withdrew from me; and men and women came around me who cared only for +earth and self; whose talk was of gain, and fashion, and +self-indulgence; and whose desire it was to silence conscience, and to +stifle thoughts of duty. + +22. I ceased to pray. I had already given up family prayer. I now gave +up private prayer. I gave up prayer altogether. I had impulses to +prayer, but I resisted them. Prayer was irrational, according to the new +philosophy, and must be discarded. + +23. And praise and thanksgiving went next. What reason could there be +for telling an all-wise God what you thought of Him, or how you felt +towards Him? And besides, it now began to appear that God had not been +so very bountiful as to deserve either high commendation, or +enthusiastic thanksgiving. + +24. I had fresh work. Politics first got into partnership with my +religion, and then turned religion out of the concern. And politics, +severed from religion, soon become selfish, and even devilish. So long +as Christian philanthropy occupied my thoughts and feelings, it helped +religiousness; but when it gave way to polities, my religiousness +declined, languished, and died. + +25. I began to indulge in amusements. Chess, drafts, cards, concerts, +theatres, and feasting asked for a portion of my time and money, and I +gave it to them. I began to think of pleasure more than of usefulness; +to live for myself rather than for others; and the higher virtues and +religion went down together. + +26. My position improved. I passed from poverty to comparative wealth. +This helped my degeneracy. I had more abundant means of self-indulgence, +and I began, though slowly, timidly, and with misgivings, and +self-reproaches, and occasional fits of remorse, to use them for +selfish, worldly purposes. God had given me more, so I gave Him less. +Jeshurun waxed fat and kicked. Jesus knew what He was saying when He +warned people against the danger, the deceitfulness, of riches. + +27. I was often uneasy during the decline of religion in my soul, but +philosophy had its anodynes, its soothing syrups, its dreamy, delusive, +spiritual drugs. It could flatter, it could cheat, in the most approved +fashion. It could bewitch, intoxicate, and take captive the whole +soul,--judgment, conscience, fancy, everything. + +Satan can put on the appearance of an 'angel of light.' He can talk +religion. He can talk philanthropy. He can preach the most beautiful +doctrines. He can use the most charming words. At the very moment that +he is destroying religion and virtue, he can speak of them in the +highest terms, and even sing of them in the sweetest strains. He can +talk of liberty in the most swelling, high-sounding, and fascinating +style, while all the time he is making men the most degraded and +miserable slaves. He can lead people, singing and dancing, laughing and +shouting, through a philosopher's paradise, to a purgatory of guilt and +horror. And all the time he will preach to them the finest doctrines; +the most exalted sentiments. 'Religion!--everything is religion, that +is in accordance with the laws of our own nature, that is suitable to +our position and relations, that helps our brothers or our families. And +all truth is religious truth. All science is divine revelation. All laws +are God's laws, except the arbitrary laws of men. All work is divine +work, if it be according to nature. All useful work is religion. +Farming, trade, government, are all religion. So are waking and +sleeping. They are all divine ordinances; they are all divine service. +All good work is worship. Singing foolish hymns, reading foolish +lessons, preaching foolish sermons, offering foolish prayers, in +unhealthy churches, half stifled with foul air, are not religion. +Religion is the free and natural utterance of great, true thoughts, of +good and generous feelings, of nature's own rich sentiments and +inspirations. The flowery fields, the shadowy woods, the lofty mountains +are nobler places of worship than the dark and damp cathedral; and the +fresh air of heaven is a diviner inspiration than carbonic acid gas. And +the sun is a diviner light than waxen tapers, explosive lamps, or +oxygen-consuming gas. And the gorgeous sun-tinted clouds are grander and +more beautiful than painted windows! God's temple is all space; His +altar; earth, air, skies! His ministers are sun, moon, stars; birds, +beasts, and flowers. Nature is God's revelation; the true Bible; written +in an universal language; speaking to all eyes; needing no translation; +in danger of no interpolation, alteration, or mutilation. Man is the +true Shekinah,--the veritable image, the real glory, the true revelation +and manifestation of God. Man is the saviour of man: the teacher, the +guide, the comforter of man. Every one, male or female, is a servant, a +minister of God. All are priests. All are kings. The truth makes us +free: free from all authorities, but the authority of God,--God in the +soul. Christ is our brother, not our master. He is a helper, not a +ruler. And all are helpers of each other. All are saviours. All are +Christs. Inspiration is not a matter of time, or place, or person. It is +eternal and universal. It is in all, and it endures forever. Every good +book is a Bible. Every good hymn or song is a holy psalm. Purity of body +is holiness, as well as purity of mind. Every day is a sabbath, a holy +day. Every place is holy ground. The Church of God is the human race. +All are God's disciples, under training by nature's operations, and by +the events of daily life. The earth is God's great school-house; mankind +are one great school; God is our chief Master; the universe is our +lesson book, and all we are ushers and under teachers. All things are +our helpers, not masters;--our servants, not lords. They are made for +us, not we for them; and must be used so as to make them answer their +ends. The Sabbath was made for man; not man for the Sabbath. Bibles are +for men, not men for Bibles. Governments, churches, authorities, laws, +institutions, customs, events, suns, moons, stars, systems, atoms, +elements, all are made for man, and to man's interest and pleasure they +must be subordinated. All must be changed to meet man's changing wants. +Nothing is entitled to be permanent, but that which answers beneficently +to something permanent in man. Man is lord of the universe. Man is lord +of himself. Man is his own rightful governor. Man is his own law. His +nature is his law. Each individual man is his own law. Individualities +are divine, and must be respected; respected by laws and governments. +Law must yield to individuality; not individuality to law. Individuality +is sacred. The individuality of the individual is his life, and must be +fostered. It is a new manifestation of God. As to means of grace,--all +expressions and interchanges of kind feeling are means of grace. Shaking +hands is a means of grace. Free, friendly talk, a concert or a song, a +social ride, a family feast, a social gathering, a pleasant chat, a game +at whist, all are means of grace. All are holy to holy souls. All are +pure to pure minds. Eating, drinking, sleeping are all divine +ordinances. Religion, in its higher and more enlightened form, raises +our views of all things; makes all things beautiful; all things +glorious. It does not bring down the high and holy; but lifts up all +things to a divine level. It desecrates no temple; but consecrates the +universe. It breaks no Sabbath; but makes every day a Sabbath, and all +time one lengthened holy day. It degrades no priest; but makes all men +priests. It does not bring down the high, but raises the low. It denies +not heaven; but brings down heaven to earth. Everywhere is heaven. +God's kingdom is an universal kingdom. His presence, His throne, His +glory, are everywhere, and heaven is all around us and within us. The +universe is heaven.' Thus spake the devil. + +And now came in his progressive poets to give those broad, those high, +those rational, those philosophical principles, this theology and +religion of advanced humanity, this Church and worship of the future, +the fascination of their ecstatic genius, and all the charms of numbers, +rhyme, and melody. 'My religion is love,' sings one, 'the richest and +fairest.' 'Abou Ben Adhem,' sings another. 'He loves not God; but loves +God's creature man. Give him a place,--the highest place,--in heaven.' +Another sings, 'The poor man's Sunday walk.' The advanced religionist, +addressing his wife, exclaims, + + The morning of our rest has come, + The sun is shining clear; + I see it on the steeple-top: + Put on your shawl, my dear, + And let us leave the smoky town, + The dense and stagnant lane, + And take our children by the hand + To see the fields again. + I've pined for air the livelong week; + For the smell of new-mown hay; + For a pleasant, quiet, country walk, + On a sunny Sabbath day. + + Our parish church is cold and damp; + I need the air and sun; + We'll sit together on the grass, + And see the children run. + We'll watch them gather butter-cups, + Or cowslips in the dell, + Or listen to the cheerful sounds + Of the far-off village bell; + And thank our God with grateful hearts, + Though in the fields we pray; + And bless the healthful breeze of heaven, + On a sunny Sabbath day. + + I'm weary of the stifling room, + Where all the week we're pent; + Of the alley fill'd with wretched life, + And odors pestilent: + And long once more to see the fields, + And the grazing sheep and beeves; + To hear the lark amid the clouds, + And the wind among the leaves; + And all the sounds that glad the air + On green hills far away:-- + The sounds that breathe of Peace and Love, + On a sunny Sabbath day. + + For somehow, though they call it wrong, + In church I cannot kneel + With half the natural thankfulness + And piety I feel + When out, on such a day as this, + I lie upon the sod, + And think that every leaf and flower + Is grateful to its God; + That I, who feel the blessing more, + Should thank Him more than they, + That I can elevate my soul + On a sunny Sabbath day. + + Put on your shawl, and let us go; + For one day let us think + Of something else than daily care, + Or toil, and meat, and drink: + For one day let our children sport + And feel their limbs their own: + For one day let us quite forget + The grief that we have known:-- + Let us forget that we are poor; + And, basking in the ray, + Thank God that we can still enjoy + A sunny Sabbath day. + +What can be more natural,--what more plausible,--what more +rational,--what more pious? Yet it means forgetfulness of God, +forgetfulness of Christ, forgetfulness of duty, forgetfulness of +immortality. It means self, and sin, and ruin. And so it is with a +multitude of other sweet poems. One of the sweetest singers that ever +received a poetic soul from God, ignores Christ and Christianity. His +works are full of truth, but it is truth turned into a lie, and made to +do the work of sin and death. It is Satan clad as an angel of light. + +Every day a Sabbath, means no day a Sabbath. All places holy, means no +place holy. All things worship, means nothing worship. All honest labor +religious, means no labor religious. Freedom means license, contempt for +virtue, enslavement to vice. Progress means falling back. Elevation +means degradation. Liberality means leniency to error and evil, and +severity towards truth and goodness. In short, darkness means light, and +light means darkness; good means evil, and evil good; bitter means +sweet, and sweet bitter. Reform means revolution, and renovation means +degradation, and all these charming things mean wretchedness and ruin. + +We must not be understood as condemning all the sentiments uttered by +the great deceiver. Many of them are true and good. They are Christian. +Satan is too wise to preach unmitigated falsehood. He understands too +well the art of using truth so as to serve the ends of falsehood. It is +enough for him if he can sever men's souls from Christ, and truth from +divine authority, and religion from Christianity, the Church, and the +Bible. Allow him to do this, and he will discourse and sing to you a +world of sweet words and lofty sentiments. Truth is the ladder by which +men climb to God, and goodness, and heaven. But Satan has found out that +there is a way _down_ the ladder as well as _up_, and that to praise the +ladder to the descending crowd is the surest way to draw them ever +further downward, till they lose themselves amid the blinding smoke of +the abyss beneath. We love, we cherish every sweet word of truth, but we +value nothing apart from God, and Christ, and Religion. + +28. It is a bad thing when people are taught things in their youth that +are not true. They are sure, when they become students, if they are +honest and able, to find out the errors, and to lay them aside. And the +mere habit of detecting and laying aside errors, has a tendency to make +men skeptical. Now I had been taught a multitude of things in my youth +that were not true, both with regard to the doctrines and the evidences +of Christianity. These things I detected and set aside in riper years. +And I had so many things to set aside, that I came to look with +suspicion on almost all my creed. The skeptical tendency got too strong +for my habit of belief. I suspected where there was no good ground for +suspicion. I rejected truth as well as error. I held in doubt doctrines +that I ought to have cherished as my life. Change became too easy; +judgment too hasty; and error and unbelief were naturally the result. + +It is especially a bad thing when an earnest young student sees signs of +carelessness in religious writers; a readiness to repeat what has been +said before; to support what is popular, without endeavoring to +ascertain whether it be true or not. It is still worse when a student +discovers in religious writers signs of dishonesty and fraud. I +discovered both. I saw cases in which false doctrines were passed on +from generation to generation, and from writer to writer, without the +least attempt to ascertain their true character. I saw other cases in +which dishonesty was manifest, in which fraud was used, in support of +doctrines. Old creeds were allowed to remain unaltered, long after +portions of them had been found to be unscriptural; and error was +subscribed as a matter of course. The result was, a distrust of +everything held by such parties, unless it was supported by the plainest +and most decisive proofs. + +29. I was now in a state of mind to go down quietly and almost +unconsciously into utter unbelief. And I _went_ down. I did not _reject_ +the doctrine of the divine origin of the Bible and Christianity, but +gradually _lost_ it. My faith died a natural death. I was in the world, +and became a worldly man. I mixed with unbelievers, and gradually came +down to their level. I had supposed that a man could be as religious +outside the Church as inside; but I found it otherwise. It was a sad, an +awful change I underwent; but I not only did not see it, at the time, in +its true light, but was actually unconscious for a long time that it was +taking place. + +In November 1852, I attended a Bible convention at Salem, Columbiana +County, Ohio. It lasted three days. I spoke repeatedly, and at +considerable length, at its meetings. My remarks wore directed chiefly, +not against the Bible, but against what I regarded as unauthorized +theories of Scripture inspiration. I contended that those theories were +injurious to the interests of virtue and humanity. + +I also spoke about the darkness in which the human authorship of +portions of the Bible was wrapt. My remarks were a mixture of truth and +error, but in their general tenor they were unjust, and could hardly +fail to be injurious. + +Henry C. Wright spoke at this convention, contending that man had an +infallible rule of life engraven on his own nature, independent of +instruction from without. He was often severe and extravagant in his +remarks. He was fierce, and said things which he could not make good. + +The Rev. Jonas Harzell and others spoke in defence of the Bible. + +On the last evening the hall in which the convention was held was +densely crowded, and the audience was greatly excited. A Mr. Ambler +spoke at great length, and seemed desirous to excite the people to +violence against the assailants of the Bible. When he closed, a large +portion of the audience seemed bent on mischief. I rose to reply to Mr. +Ambler, and soon got the attention of the audience. Their rage quickly +subsided, and at the close of my address, the people separated in peace. + +In June 1853, I attended another Bible convention at Hartford, +Connecticut. I was appointed President. A. J. Davis, the celebrated +spiritualist, gave the first address. It was on the propriety of free +discussion on religious subjects. Henry C. Wright spoke next, making +strong remarks on portions of the Old Testament. I followed, going over +much the same ground as at Salem, but speaking with more severity of +feeling. My heart was getting harder. + +The Rev. George Storrs replied. He set himself especially to answer H. +C. Wright, and he spoke with much effect. + +In the afternoon of the second day, W. L. Garrison proposed six +resolutions, bearing partly on the Bible, and partly on the church and +clergy. They were very strong. There was a considerable amount of truth +in them, but their spirit and tendency were bad. Parker Pillsbury +followed with a speech, in which he praised natural religion, but +condemned the religion of the church. + +In the evening Mr. Garrison spoke. He spoke with much power. He dwelt +chiefly on what was called the doctrine of _plenary inspiration_. His +strength was in the extreme views of the orthodox theologians, and in +the inconsistencies of the church and the clergy. + +Mr. Garrison made a second speech on the fourth evening, still dwelling +on the theory of _plenary inspiration_. Before he got through his speech +the meeting was disturbed by a number of theological students, from a +college in the city. They threatened mischief. One displayed a dagger. +Confusion followed. Some of the speakers fled, and others were alarmed. +I kept my place, but soon found I had the platform to myself. I expected +more courage from my skeptical friends. But they understood Judge Lynch +better than I did, and their discretion, under the circumstances, might +be the better part of valor. My rashness, however, ended in no mishap. +And the only bad effect which the violence of our opponents had on me +was, to increase my hatred, perhaps, of the church and its theology. It +is not wise in professing Christians to resort to carnal weapons in +defence of their views. + +In December 1853, I gave a course of lectures in Philadelphia. I was +brought to the city by the Sunday Institute. The object of the lectures +was to show, that the Bible was of human origin, that its teachings were +not of divine authority, and that the doctrine of its absolute +perfection was injurious in its tendency. The room in which I lectured +was crowded, and the audience was much excited. I stated, in opening, +that I had nothing to say against anything that was true and good in the +Bible,--that virtue was essential to man's happiness, and that I had no +sympathy with those who rejected the Bible because it rebuked their +vices. I was sincere in these remarks; but my older infidel friends, I +found, regarded them as intended to deceive the unwary. Many of them +were grossly immoral, and hated the Bible for its hostility to their +evil ways. + +After each lecture discussion followed. But the ability of my opponents +was not equal to their zeal. They were often ignorant of both sides of +the question, and injured the cause they sought to aid. + +These lectures led to a public discussion between me and Dr. McCalla, a +Presbyterian clergyman. It was to continue five nights, but ended on the +fourth. We met first in the Chinese Assembly Room; but the place proving +too small for the crowds which were anxious to hear the debate, we +adjourned to the large hall. + +Dr. McCalla was very abusive. He was so intent on calling me bad names, +and on saying savage and provoking things, that he forgot his argument. +I kept to the subject. I neither abused my opponent, nor spent my time +in answering his abuse of me. I reproved him once or twice, telling him +how unseemly it was in an old man, professing to be a disciple and a +minister of Jesus, to show such a spiteful disposition, and to utter +such offensive words; and then went on with my argument. The third night +my opponent seemed to be losing his reason. On the fourth night he was +literally mad. Loss of sleep, rage, and mortification, seemed to have +brought on fever of the brain, and he was really insane. His friends +were terribly put about. Many of them were furious, and were plainly +bent on violence. A policeman climbed up the back of the platform behind +where I was sitting and said in my ear: 'There's mischief brewing: you +had better come with me. Step down now while they are looking the other +way.' I looked for my overcoat and hat, but they were gone. Some one had +carried them off, to prevent me from escaping. A gentleman who had seen +a person take them away, and place them in a distant corner of the room, +seeing what was coming, went and brought them to me, and I at once +slipped over the back of the platform to the floor, and accompanied the +policeman. The crowd, intent on getting towards the front of the +platform, had left a vacant space near the wall, and I and the policeman +got nearly to the door of the hall before we were observed. But just as +we were passing out a cry arose, 'He's off! He's off!' and a maddened +crowd prepared for pursuit. When we got into the street the policeman +said hurriedly, 'Which is the way to your lodgings?' 'That,' said I, +pointing south. 'Then come this way,' said he, 'quick;' and he pulled me +north. This probably saved my life. The mob knew which way my lodgings +lay, and as soon as they got out of the hall, they hurried south, like a +pack of hounds, roaring and furious. I was soon half a mile away in the +other direction. 'Where shall I take you?' said the policeman. 'Do you +know any one hereabouts?' 'Take me to Mr. Mott's,' said I, 'in Arch +Street.' We were there in a few moments, and as the door opened to +receive me, the policeman received his gratuity, and hastened away. In +fifteen minutes there was a noise in the street. Mr. Mott opened the +door and looked out, when a brickbat passed just by his head, and broke +itself to pieces on the door-post, leaving its mark on the marble. He +had a narrow escape. He closed the door, and after awhile the mob +dispersed, and all was quiet. Thus ended the discussion with Dr. +McCalla. + +One would have thought that after such an experience as this, I should +have taken care to keep out of debates on such an exciting subject. But +I was daring to madness. I was engaged again in discussion on the same +subject, in the same city, in less than a month. + +The clergy of Philadelphia, unwilling to leave the cause of the Bible in +this plight, demanded that I should discuss the question with Dr. Berg, +a minister in whom they had great confidence. I yielded to the demand, +and the discussion took place in Concert Hall, in January, 1854. + +The hall was crowded every night. One very wet and stormy night, the +number present was only 2000, but every other night it was from 2250 to +2400. A Philadelphia newspaper of that period says, "We cannot forbear +to notice the contrast in the manner and bearing of the two disputants. +Mr. Barker uniformly bore himself as a gentleman, courteously and +respectfully towards his opponent, and with the dignity becoming his +position, and the solemnity and importance of the question. We regret we +cannot say the same of Dr. Berg, who at times seemed to forget the +obligations of the gentleman, in his zeal as a controversialist. He is +an able and skilful debater, though less logical than Mr. Barker; but he +wasted his time and strength too often on personalities and irrelevant +matters. His personal inuendoes and offensive epithets, his coarse +witticisms and arrogant bearing, may have suited the vulgar and +intolerant among his party, but they won him no respect from the calm +and thinking portion of the audience; while we know that they grieved +and offended some intelligent and candid men who thoroughly agreed with +his views. It is time that Christians and clergymen had learned that men +whom they regard as heretics and infidels have not forfeited all claims +to the respect and courtesies of social life by their errors of opinion, +and that insolence and arrogance, contemptuous sneers and impeachment of +motives and character towards such men, are not effective means of grace +for their enlightenment and conversion. + +"There was a large number of men among the audience who lost their +self-control in their dislike of Mr. Barker's views, and he was often +interrupted, and sometimes checked in his argument, by hisses, groans, +sneers, vulgar cries, and clamors, though through all these annoyances +and repeated provocations, he maintained his wonted composure of manner +and his clearness of thought. On the other hand, Dr. Berg was heard with +general quiet by his opponents, and greeted with clamorous applause by +his friends." + +I am afraid the above remarks were true. Still, Dr. Berg was almost a +gentleman compared with Dr. McCalla, and he was vastly more of a scholar +and debater, far as he was from being a model disputant. + +Dr. Berg had the right side; he stood for the defence of all that was +good, and true, and great, and glorious; but the way in which he went +about his work was by no means the best one. He took a wrong +position,--a position which it was impossible for him to maintain. His +doctrine was that the Bible was absolutely perfect,--that the +inspiration of the Book was such as not only to make it a fit and proper +instrument for the religious instruction, and the moral and spiritual +renovation, of mankind, but such as to preserve it from all the +innocent, harmless, and unimportant weaknesses, imperfections, and +errors of regenerate and sanctified humanity. He even contended for a +kind or a degree of perfection which many of the most highly esteemed +professors and theologians of orthodox churches had relinquished. He +held to views about the creation and the universality of the deluge, +which orthodox Christian Geologists like Professor Hitchcock of America, +as well as Dr. Pye Smith of England, had given up as untenable. He +contended for a perfection which, in fact, is physically impossible, and +which, in truth, was inconsistent with his own acknowledgments in other +parts of the discussion. I have no wish to disparage my opponent; I had +rather do the contrary; but he did not properly and adequately +understand the great question which he undertook to discuss. Hence he +got involved in inextricable difficulties, and, in spite of all he could +do, his attempted defence of the Bible was, to a great extent, a +failure. + +He said a many good things about the Bible. He proved a many things in +its favor. He made the impression, at times, that there was something in +its teachings of a most powerful and blessed tendency; that it was a +book of infinite value,--that it was a wonderful teacher and a mighty +comforter,--that it had done a vast amount of good, and was calculated +to do a vast amount more,--that it was a friend and patron of all things +good and glorious,--that it was the nurse of individual and national +virtue, and the source of personal, domestic, and national happiness. He +said many good things about the excellency of Christ's precepts, and the +beauty and glory of His example. A hundred good things he said, both in +favor of the Bible, and in opposition to infidelity. But the one great +point which he had pledged himself to prove he did _not_ prove. It could +not be proved. It was not true. So that though he won a substantial +victory; he sustained a logical defeat. And if he had been twenty times +more learned, and twenty times more able than he was, he would have been +defeated. If a man attempts the impossible, failure is inevitable; and +if he has a skilful, wary, and able opponent, his failure will be seen +and felt, even by his most ardent friends, and greatest admirers. And so +it was in the case of Dr. Berg. + +But the error was not his alone; it was the error of his friends; the +error of his patrons; the error of his times. What learning, and talent, +and zeal, and skill in debate, considerably above the average of his +profession, could do, he did; and that was a good deal: and his failure +was chargeable not on himself, so much as on the faulty theology of the +school in which he had been trained, and to which he still belonged. + +So far as the general merits of the Bible were concerned, I was in the +wrong. But the fact was not made so plain, so palpable to the audience, +as it should have been, and as it might have been, if I had had a wiser, +a warier, and an abler opponent, and one who had no false theory of +Bible inspiration or abstract perfection to defend. A man thoroughly +furnished for the work, and free from foolish and unauthorized theories, +would have been able to give proof of the substantial truth and divinity +of the Scriptures, and of their transcendent moral and spiritual +excellence, absolutely overwhelming; and I do most heartily wish I had +had the happiness to encounter such an advocate in my discussions. It +might have proved an infinite advantage to me, and an incalculable +blessing to my friends. As it was, the debate only tended to strengthen +me in my unbelief, and to increase my confidence in future controversies +with the clergy. + +How I answered my own arguments, and got over my own objections, when on +my way back to Christianity, I may state hereafter. All I need say here +is, that I took a _qualified_ view of the divine authority of the Bible, +and of the doctrine of its divine inspiration,--a view in accordance +with facts, and with the teachings of Scripture itself on the subject. +This view did not require me to demand in a book of divine origin the +kind of abstract or absolute perfection which Dr. Berg required, and +which he so rashly undertook to prove. On the contrary, it taught me to +look for a thousand innocent and unimportant errors and imperfections in +the Bible. A thousand things which would, if proved, have been regarded +by Dr. Berg as valid objections to the doctrine of its superhuman +authority and divine authority, were no objections at all to me. I could +acknowledge the truth of them all, and yet believe in the substantial +truth and divinity of the Book as a whole. The dust and mud of our +streets and roads, and the decaying timbers and rotting grasses of our +forests and farms do not make me question the divine origin and the +substantial perfection of the world: nor do the errors and imperfections +of ancient transcribers or modern translators, or the want of absolute +scientific, historical, chronological, literary, theological or moral +perfection even in the original authors of the Bible, make me doubt its +divine origin and inspiration, or its practical and substantial +perfection. You may show me ten thousand things in the earth which, to +multitudes, would seem inconsistent with the doctrine that it is the +work of an all-perfect Creator; but they would not be inconsistent with +that doctrine in _my_ view. They would probably seem, to my mind, proofs +of its truth. Things which, to men who had not properly studied them, +appeared serious defects, or results of Adam's sin, would be seen by me +to be important excellencies; masterpieces of infinite wisdom and +goodness. Many of the things I said about the Bible in my debate with +Dr. Berg were true; but they amounted to nothing. Dr. Berg thought they +were serious charges, and that if they were not refuted, they would +destroy the credit and power of the Book. He was mistaken. And he never +did refute them. If I were in the place of Dr. Berg, and an opponent +were to bring forward those things in proof that the Bible was not of +God, I should say, Your statements may be true, or they may be false, +and I do not care much which they are; but they are good for nothing as +disproofs of the divine origin and practical perfection of the Bible. +The Bible is all it professes to be, and it is more and better than its +greatest admirers suppose it to be, notwithstanding its numberless +traces of innocent human imperfections. The sun has spots, but they +neither disprove its value nor its divine origin. The probability is, +that the spots in the sun have their use, and would be seen, if properly +understood, to be proofs of the wisdom and goodness of the Creator. And +it is certainly plain to me, that what you regard us defects in the +Bible, are proofs both of its divine origin, and of its real perfection. + +I said some things about the Bible in my debate with Dr. Berg, which, if +they had been true, would have proved that the Bible was _not_ of divine +origin. But they were not true. All these things should have been +refuted by Dr. Berg with great promptness, and refuted so thoroughly +and plainly, that every one should have been made to see and feel that +they were refuted. But they were not. Some of them were left unnoticed. +Others were handled unskilfully. The time and strength that should have +been given to them were wasted on trifles, or unwisely spent in +offensive personalities, unseasonable witticisms, or attempts at fine +speaking. + +The objections of this class, which my opponent failed to answer, or +answered unsatisfactorily, we may notice further on. + +In January, 1855, while over on business, I had a public debate at +Halifax, England, with Brewin Grant, a congregational minister. This, so +far as its impression on my own mind was concerned, was the most +unfortunate discussion I ever had. My opponent was the meanest and most +unprincipled or ill-principled man I ever met. In a pamphlet which he +had published, giving instructions to those who were called to defend +the Bible and Christianity against unbelievers, he had laid it down as a +rule, that their first object should be to destroy the influence of +their opponents, and that in order to do this, they should do their +utmost to damage their reputation, and make them odious. He acted on +this principle, in his debate with me, with the greatest fidelity. He +raked together, and gave forth in his speeches, all the foolish and +wicked stories which my old persecutors had fabricated and spread abroad +respecting me, except those about my having committed suicide, and being +smothered to death, and some others which were so notoriously false that +they could no longer be used to my disadvantage. Those stories he +improved by making them worse. He made a number of new ones also. + +I had published a book, giving the story of my life up to the time of my +expulsion from the Methodist New Connexion. This work, like my other +works, was written in the clearest and simplest style, so that no man +with ordinary abilities could fail to understand it, and no man without +powers of perversion bordering on the miraculous, could give to any part +of it an objectionable meaning. This book he took, and read, and +misread, and interpreted, and misinterpreted, so as to make the +impression on persons unacquainted with it, that I had written and +published the most foolish, ridiculous, and in some cases, really +discreditable things of myself, and even false and unwarrantable +statements about others. + +Before the discussion came on he gave a lecture on this book. I went to +hear it. He spoke about an hour, and every quotation from the work, and +every reference he made to it, was false. There was not a word of truth +in the whole lecture. There was not a sentence which was not as opposite +to truth and as full of falsehood as he could make it. And the ingenuity +he displayed in his task was marvellous. It was really devilish. He +enlarged my conception of the evil powers of wicked men, in the line of +turning good into evil, and truth into lies, beyond all that I could +otherwise have imagined. He did a hundred things, the least of which my +poor limited capacity would have deemed impossible. + +He pursued the same course in the debate. He went as far beyond poor +McCalla, as McCalla had gone beyond ordinary sinners. If I had +undertaken to correct his misrepresentations, and expose his fictions, I +should not have had one moment to give to the subject we were met to +discuss. So I did as I did with McCalla, I rebuked the man with becoming +severity; I contradicted his statements in the plainest and strongest +way I could; I also offered to arrange for a discussion of personal +matters, if he wished it, after we had gone through our discussion of +principles, and engaged to prove every discreditable story he told of me +to be false, and then went on with the discussion. He accepted my +challenge to discuss personalities, but neither kept his engagement, nor +abated his efforts at misrepresentation during the remainder of the +debate. + +He was not content with sober, sad, deliberate falsehood; he resorted to +ridicule. He pulled comical and ugly faces; put out his tongue; put his +thumb to his nose; threw orange peel at me; and said and did other +things which it is not lawful for me to utter. + +He had thought, I suppose, to disgust me; to tire me out; to make me +withdraw from the debate, and give him the opportunity of saying he had +put me to flight. He was mistaken. I kept my ground. And I kept my +temper. And I kept my gravity. I rebuked him at times with becoming +sternness, and then went on with my task. It is probable that I spoke +more strongly against the Bible, and that I said harder things against +the church and the ministry, than I should have done, if he had +conducted himself with any regard to truth and decency; but I did not +raise my voice above its usual pitch, nor did I show any unusual signs +of indignation, disgust, or irritation. My feelings became more intense, +my language more cutting, and my style and logic more pointed and +forcible; but my manner was calm, and my behaviour guarded. + +And I husbanded my strength. I let him explode, while I let off my steam +quietly, and in just measure only, making every particle do its proper +work. I wasted neither words, nor strength, nor time. In three or four +days my wicked opponent began to get weak and weary. He had tired +_himself_ instead of me. He had disgusted and put to shame many of his +friends. He had driven away several of his supporters. He had weakened +his party. He had strengthened his opponent. He had lost, he had +betrayed, his cause. He dragged on heavily. He was all but helpless. I +had every thing my own way. I had an easy fight, and a decisive victory. + +I had the last speech; and when the battle was over, I felt free to deal +with my unprincipled opponent rather severely, and I said: "My opponent +has acted, from beginning to end of this debate, in anything but a noble +and manly way. I refer not merely to his personal abuse, his use of foul +names, his insolence of manner, his malignity of spirit; but to the way +in which he has misconducted the argument. He was pledged to prove the +Bible of Divine origin and authority. He was bound to bring out, as +early as possible, what he thought his strongest arguments, and afford +me an opportunity of meeting them. But he did not do this. To judge from +his proceedings, you would conclude that he had no faith in any of the +popular arguments, such as those employed by Paley, Horne, &c. He sat +watching, like an animal we need not name, for some stray thought to +pounce upon. He tried every device to draw me from the question, and +showed, not only the greatest reluctance, but a fixed determination, not +to come any nearer to it himself than he could possibly help. He has +shown nothing like courage, nothing like confidence in the goodness of +his cause, nothing like openness, candor, or generosity; nothing but +craft and cunning. He has never fought like a soldier, but dodged like +an assassin. Honorable men _give up_ a cause that can't be honorably +maintained. For myself, ye are witnesses, I came out openly, boldly, and +at once, and gave my opponent the best opportunity he could have of +grappling fairly with my arguments. But he would not meet them. He slunk +behind his mud-battery, and instead of firing shot and shell, spurted +forth filth. By-and-by he took my old deserted battery, and began to +play upon me with my worn-out guns and wooden shot, till his friends +compelled him to give up. He complained that I had taken up my position +on Mount Horeb, and pattered him with grapeshot from the old Jewish +armory, and besought and urged me to plant myself on Mount Tabor, or the +Mount of Olives, and try what I could do with Christian ammunition. I +did so; but even that did not please him. He stared and squalled, as if +it had been raining red-hot shot, as thick as it once poured hailstones +and fire in Egypt, killing every beast that was out in the fields. And +thus he has gone on. He never seems to have been satisfied, either with +his own position or mine. I might have pleased him, no doubt, by giving +in before the battle, and surrendering at discretion; but that is not my +custom. Well, now the battle draws near its close; and no one, I trust, +has lost anything, but what is better lost than found. I am satisfied +with my own position, and nearly so with my share of the fight. With a +manlier foe, I should have had a pleasanter fight; but soldiers cannot +always choose their antagonists, nor can they keep, in all cases, to +their own best mode of warfare. The hunter cannot always find the +noblest game; and perhaps it is better for his neighbour, if not so +pleasant to himself, that he should sometimes be obliged to employ his +dogs and rifles in destroying vermin. + +"I feel that an apology is due from me to you and the public, for +entering the lists with my opponent. It is soon given. When I first +offered to meet him in discussion on the Bible, I supposed him to be a +well-informed and respectable man, and the representative of the +highest intellectual and moral culture, combined with superior talent +and experience as a debater, that the orthodox world could boast. I soon +found out my mistake, but I did not feel at liberty to withdraw my +challenge. When I learned the infamous character of his personal +lectures, I declined all further correspondence with him till he should +retract his slanders; but still I did not feel free to say I would not +debate with him, if his friends should bring him to reasonable terms. +His friends in Halifax succeeded in doing so, and out of regard to the +wishes of my friends, I submitted to the temporary degradation of being +placed on the same platform with my unprincipled calumniator, and the +calumniator of the best, the wisest, and the greatest men of every age +and nation. I do not regret having done so. + +"He will leave this discussion a sadder and a wiser man. He has found +that the power of insolence, and falsehood, and of vulgar, brutal wit, +has its bounds; that there are those whom they cannot abash or cow; that +the _might_ in moral encounters is with the _right_. + +"I part with my opponent without malice, though without regret. If he +has natural characteristics which others have not, and lacks some higher +qualities which others have, the fault is not entirely his. He did not +make himself. Nor did he nurse, or rear, or train himself. He is the +production, and his character may, to a great extent, be the production, +of influences over which he had no control. I shall not therefore state +all I have felt while listening to the false and fierce personalities +with which this discussion has been disgraced. I will rather acknowledge +my own errors, and lament that anything he has said or done should have +been permitted, in any case, to affect my own style of advocacy, and +render me less gentle or guarded in my utterances than I otherwise might +have been. I retract every expression of unkindness or resentment. I +apologize for everything harsh, offensive, or ungraceful in my manner; +and I am sorry I could not declare and advocate my views, without +shocking or distressing some of your minds. And now, with best and +heartiest wishes for your welfare, and for the welfare of mankind at +large, and in the fall and certain hope of the final, universal, and +eternal triumph of the truth, and in the ultimate regeneration and +salvation of our race, I bid you all farewell." + +This man purchased the copyright of the debate, and pledged himself to +issue a correct edition, in accordance with the notes of the reporter. +Instead of doing so, besides making unlimited alterations in his own +speeches, he altered every speech of mine. Some things he left out. In +one case, to prevent an exposure of one of his more reckless +mis-statements, he left out two pages of one of my speeches. By a free +and artful use of _italics_, and an abuse of stops, he altered and +perverted the meaning of quite a multitude of my statements. And when, +after all, he found that the publication damaged him terribly in the +estimation of his friends, he suppressed it altogether. + +The conduct of this opponent had a bad effect on my mind, and if +anything short of sound reason could have kept me in the ranks of +infidelity, it would have been the shameless, the outrageous conduct of +such pretenders to Christianity as this bad man. But I thank God, such +horrible and inexcusable inconsistency was not allowed to decide my +fate. Better powers, sweeter and happier influences, were brought into +play to counteract its deadly tendency. And even other opponents, of a +worthier character and of a higher order, came in my way, who, by their +Christian temper, and high culture, and by their regard for my feelings, +and their manifest desire for my welfare, obliterated the bad +impressions produced by the unscrupulous and malignant conduct of Brewin +Grant, and all but won me over to the cause of Christ. + +It happened that while I was yet in England, an arrangement was made for +a public discussion between me and Colonel Michael Shaw, of Bourtree +Park, Ayr. Colonel Shaw was a kind of lay minister, who preached the +Gospel gratuitously, and spent his time and property in doing good. He +was a Christian and a gentleman out and out; a Christian and a gentleman +of the highest order. Five such men might have saved Sodom and Gomorrah, +and all the cities of the plain. He was as guileless as a little child, +and as honest as the light, and about as pure, and good, and kind as a +regenerated human soul could be. This, at least, was the impression +which his looks, and conversation, and behaviour, made on my mind. He +not only commanded my respect, but called forth my veneration; and he +made me love him, as I never did love more than two or three good men in +all my life. + +Well, an arrangement was made for a public discussion on the divine +authority of the Bible between this good and godly man and me. + +The discussion took place in the City Hall, Glasgow. The Colonel was so +kind and gentlemanly, that I found my task exceedingly difficult. It was +very unpleasant to speak lightly of the faith of so good and true a man; +or to say anything calculated to hurt the feelings of one so guileless +and so affectionate. And many a time I wished myself employed about some +other business, or engaged in a contest with some other man. At the end +of the second night's debate we were to rest two days, and the Colonel +was so kind as to invite me, and even to press me, to spend those days +with him at his residence near Ayr. The Colonel had given his good lady +so favorable an account of my behaviour in the debate, that she wrote to +me enforcing her good husband's invitation. I went. I could do no other. +The Colonel and his venerable father met me at the station with a +carriage, and I was soon in the midst of the Colonel's truly Christian +and happy family. Neither the Colonel nor any of his household attempted +to draw me into controversy. Not a word was spoken that was calculated +to make me feel uneasy. There seemed no effort on the part of any one, +yet every thing was said and done in such a way as to make me feel +myself perfectly at home. Love, true Christian love, under the guidance +of the highest culture, was the moving spirit in the Colonel's family +circle. A visit to the birthplace of Burns, and to the banks of Bonny +Doon, was proposed, and a most delightful stroll we had, made all the +more pleasant by the Colonel's remarks on the various objects of +interest that came in view, and his apt quotation of passages from the +works of the poet, referring to the scenery amidst which we were moving. + +On our return home I was made to feel at ease again with regard to every +thing but myself. I felt sorry that I should be at variance with my +kind and accomplished host on a subject of so much interest and +importance as religion and the Bible. The thought that on the evening of +the coming day I should have to appear on the platform again as his +opponent, was really annoying. To talk with such a man privately, in a +free and friendly way, seemed proper enough; but to appear in public as +his antagonist seemed too bad. When we started from Ayr to Glasgow in +the same train, and in the same carriage, I felt as if I would much +rather have travelled in some other direction, or on a different errand. +But an agreement had been made, and it must be kept; so two more nights +were spent in discussion. But it _was_ discussion,--fair and friendly +discussion,--and not quarrelling. Neither he nor I gave utterance to an +unkind or reproachful word. When the discussion was over, the Colonel +shook me by the hand in a most hearty manner in the presence of an +excited audience, and presented me with a book as an expression of his +respect and good feeling. I made the best returns I could, unwilling to +be too much outdone by my gallant and Christian friend. The audience, +divided as they were on matters of religion, after gazing some time on +the spectacle presented on the platform, as if at loss what to do, or +which of the disputants they should applaud, dropped their differences, +and all united in applauding both, and the disputants and the audience +separated with the heartiest demonstrations of satisfaction and mutual +good-will. The events of those days, and the impression I received of my +opponent's exalted character, never faded from my memory. And though +they had not all the effect they ought to have had, their influence on +my mind was truly salutary. I have never thought of Colonel Shaw and his +good, kind, Christian family, without affection, gratitude, and delight. +He wrote to me repeatedly after my return to America, and his letters, +which reached us when we were living among the wilds of Nebraska, were +among our pleasantest visitants, and must be reckoned among the means of +my recovery from the horrors of unbelief. + +I cannot doubt but that my encounter with this blessed man did much +towards winning back my soul to God, and Christ, and the Church. This +gracious man,--this child of light and love,--is still living, and he +continues, when I give him the opportunity, to testify his love for me, +and his good wishes for my health and welfare. God bless his soul; and +bless his household; and, after having given them a long and happy life +on earth, receive them to His kingdom, to share together the riches of +His love for ever and ever. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +CONTINUATION OF MY STORY. FRESH TROUBLES. A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. HOW +BROUGHT ABOUT. INCIDENTS. THE CHANGE COMPLETE AT LENGTH. ITS RESULTS. + + +In compliance with the request of some skeptical neighbours, I lectured +against the Divine authority of the Bible in my first settlement in +Ohio. Mr. Spofforth, a Methodist minister was induced to hold a public +discussion with me on the subject, and as he was not well acquainted +either with his own side of the question or the other, he was soon +embarrassed and confounded, and obliged to retire from the contest. Not +content with the retirement of my opponent, I announced another course +of lectures on the Bible, resolved not to relinquish my hold of the +people's attention, till I had laid before them my thoughts on the +exciting subject at greater length. The company listened to me for a +time with great patience, but while I was giving my last lecture, some +young men set to work outside to pull down the log school-house in which +I was speaking, and I and my friends had to make haste out before the +lecture was over, to avoid being buried before we were dead. + +The young men had provided themselves plentifully with rotten eggs, +thinking to pelt me on my way home; but the night was very dark, and the +way led through a tall, dense, shadowy forest, and somehow they mistook +their own father for me, and gave _him_ the eggs. When he got home he +was as slimy and odoriferous as a man need to be; while I was perfectly +clean and sweet. + +But I was not to be permitted to escape in this way. During the night +they pulled down the fences of my farm, and gave me other hints, that I +must leave, or do worse. So I sold my farm for what I could get, and +bought another some seventy miles away, near Salem, Columbiana County, a +region occupied chiefly by what, in America, were called +"_Come-outers_"--people who had left the churches and the ministry, and +even separated themselves from civil organizations, resolved to be +subject to no authority but their own wills or their own whims. Among +people so free as those, I thought I should have liberty plenty; but I +soon found that they were so fond of freedom, that they wanted _my_ +share as well as their own, and I got into trouble once more. And then I +saw that the greatest brawlers about liberty, when they come to be +tried, are often the most arrant despots and tyrants on the face of the +earth. + +Then the people in the district were not _all_ Come-outers. Some were +Christians. And these I provoked by my disregard of the Sabbath, and by +my advocacy of views unfriendly to religion and the divine authority of +the Bible. I worked in my garden or on my farm on a Sunday, in sight of +my neighbors as they went to church. I had previously called a Bible +convention in the place, and taken the leading part in its proceedings. +I took the skeptical side in a public discussion on Christianity in the +town, and gave utterance to sentiments which pained the hearts of the +religious portion of my neighbors beyond endurance. The consequence was, +I got into trouble again, and had to move once more, or be undone. + +So I moved once more. This time I resolved to make sure of a quiet home, +so I went right away beyond the limits of the States, into the unpeopled +territory of Nebraska, a country at that period ten or twelve times as +large as Pennsylvania or England, and containing less than five thousand +white inhabitants--an immense wilderness, occupied chiefly by tribes of +red Indians, herds of buffalo and deer, countless multitudes of wolves, +with here and there a bear, a panther, or a catamount, and heaps of +rattlesnakes. And here I thought I should be safe. And so I was. The +Indians gave me no trouble. I always treated them kindly, and they were +kind to me in return. As for the wild beasts, God has "put the fear and +dread of man upon every beast of the earth;" and as he approaches, they +retire. As a rule, the fiercest beasts of the forest will turn aside to +make way for man. I have lived in the midst of multitudes of wolves, and +taken no harm. I have slept on the open prairie in regions swarming with +wolves, and never been disturbed. I have travelled by night in other +parts of the country, over the wildest mountains, the homes of panthers, +bears, and catamounts, and never been molested. The rattlesnakes were +the most dangerous creatures. Yet even from them I took no harm, I have +walked among them time after time in slippers or low shoes, yet I never +was bitten. I slept once for three nights with a rattlesnake within two +or three inches of my breast, yet escaped unhurt. God took care of me, +when I neither took due care of myself, nor cared as I ought for Him. + +The parties I feared the most were the white people. They had heard of +me, and as they passed me in the street, they looked at me askance, +regarding me apparently as a mystery or a monster. But I never shocked +them by skeptical lectures, or by any other act of hostility to +religion, so they bore with me, and came at length to treat me with +respect and confidence. My wife and family were regarded with favor from +the first. And I shall never forget the kindness of one of our Christian +neighbors to my wife, in a time of affliction and sorrow. + +And it is from my settlement in this desolate and far-off region, that I +date the commencement of a change for the better in the state of my +mind. I do not say that my opinions began to change, but the state of my +_feelings_ got better, which rendered possible a change for the better +in my sentiments. + +But I had reached a sad extreme. I had lost all trust in a Fatherly God, +and all good hope of a better life. I had come near to the horrors of +utter Atheism. And the universe had become an appalling and inexplicable +mystery. And the world had come to be a dreary habitation; and life a +weary affair; and many a time I wished I had never been born. And there +were occasions when the dark suggestion came, "Life is a burden; throw +it down." But I said; "Nay; there are my wife and children: I will live +for their sakes if for nothing else." And for their sakes I did live, +thank God, till I had something else to live for. + +If I were asked what first gave a check to my skepticism, and led me to +turn my face once more towards Christ and Christianity, I should say, +"The answer is supplied by my story." As I have shown, it was the +troubled state of my mind,--the tempest of unhappy feeling, and the +whirlwind of excitement in which I had lived so long,--that had most to +do in carrying me away from Christ; and now my mind was allowed to be at +rest. The whirlwind of excitement had spent its fury. The tempest in my +soul had subsided, so that the principal hindrance to my return was +gone. There were other causes that had contributed to the destruction of +my faith in Christ and Christianity, but this was the first and chief +one, and the one which gave the principal part of their force to the +rest. As I have shown, I had been taught things about the Scriptures +that were not correct. I had found a number of the arguments used by +divines in support of the divinity of the Scriptures to be unsound. I +had detected pious frauds in the writings of some of the advocates of +the Bible and Christianity. I had met with untenable views on the +inspiration and infallibility of the Scriptures. I had, besides, adopted +a defective method of reasoning on religious matters, which exerted an +injurious influence on my mind. All these things, and many others which +I cannot at present mention, had proved occasions of doubt and unbelief. +But the probability is, that none of these things would have destroyed +my faith in Christ, if I had been in a proper state of mind. There was +nothing in them to justify unbelief to a mind unprejudiced, +undistempered, calm. There was attractiveness enough in Christ, if the +mists which passion had thrown around Him, to hide His worth and glory +from my view, could be cleared away. And there was truth and goodness +enough in Christianity, and there were evidences sufficient of its +divinity, if one could have the films removed from one's eyes, and be +permitted to behold it in its own sweet light. The great difficulty was +in the disordered state of my mind, and the trying nature of my +situation. What was wanted, therefore, to make it possible for me to +return to my former faith, was not so much an explanation of particular +difficulties, as a better, happier, calmer state of mind. Explanations +of difficulties _were_ desirable, but they were not the first or +principal things required. The great, the _one_ thing needful, at the +outset, was a fitting state of mind,--a mind sufficiently free from +irritation, painful excitement, and consequent unhappy bias, to enable +me to do justice to the religion of Christ. And the circumstances in +which I was placed in Nebraska were calculated to bring me to this +desirable state of mind; and many things which befel me there were +calculated to stimulate my return to Christ. + +1. In the first place, I was in a region favorable to calm and serious +thought. True, we were infected for a time with the fever of speculation +so prevalent in new countries; and we shared the hardships and toils, +the cares and anxieties, of a border life: but there were seasons when +serious thought and salutary reflection were inevitable. I was often +alone amid the quiet and solemnity of a boundless wilderness. The busy +world of men was far away. There was no one near to foster doubt or +unbelief, or to reopen or irritate afresh the closing wounds inflicted +by bigotry and intolerance in days gone by. And the loneliness of my +condition seemed to bring me nearer to God. It allowed the revival of +those Godward-tending instincts implanted in man's heart by the hand of +the Creator. It favored the resurrection to life of the natural +religious affections, and the revival of those holy longings and +aspirations after a higher life and a grander destiny than earth can +give, which arise so spontaneously in the breasts of men. It allowed the +better self to rise and assert its power, while it shamed the evil self +into the shade. And often, when away beyond the sight of man or of human +habitation, amidst the eternal silence and the boundless solitude, I had +strange thoughts and strange feelings; and there were times when, if I +had yielded to the impulses from within, I should have cast myself down +upon the ground, and adored the Great Mysterious Infinite. + +On one occasion I went, in company with my youngest son and a friend, +some distance into the interior of the country. At one point we came +upon a deserted and decaying Indian village, and then upon an Indian +track across the desert. A little further on we struck a Mormon track, +along which a company of the Latter-day saints had groped their way +towards their promised Paradise in the Salt Lake Valley. As we followed +the track we came upon a mound, and then upon another, marking the spots +where worn-out travellers had ended their weary pilgrimages, and been +consigned, amid the desolate wilds, to their final resting places. Into +one of these unprotected graves the wolves had made their way, to feed +upon the fallen victim of the new faith. When night came on it found us +in these dreary and desolate wilds, and there we had to prepare to pass +the night under the open sky, with multitudes of wolves around us. We +had hardly spread our blankets when the sky was covered with black and +heavy clouds, and lightnings flashed, and thunders roared, and +everything betokened a night of storm and rain. We protected ourselves +against the threatening elements as well as we could, and prepared +ourselves for cold and drenching showers, and for a sleepless and +troubled night, when, happily for us, the wind suddenly changed, and +dissipated the clouds. The stars came out in all their glory, and the +night was calm and bright, and all we had to try our patience was a +little frost. And there I slept; and there I often awoke; and in my +intervals of wakefulness I gazed on the magnificence of the outspread +skies, and mused on the dreariness of the surrounding wilderness, and +thought of the stirring scenes through which I had passed in days gone +by, and of the strange and death-like silent one in which I then was +placed. "And what will the future be?" said I. "And here is my son; in +the spring of life; on adventures so strange; in a universe so vast and +so mysterious; what will be his destiny? And what will be the destiny of +the dear ones we have left behind?" And then I lost myself in a world of +strange imaginings. When wearied with my restless musings, I sank to +rest again, and passed from waking into sleeping dreams. + +Morning broke at length, and we arose, and started on our journey. The +deer were skipping gaily over the plains. The wolves were hiding in +their holes. We came at length to a stream. It was skirted by a grove, +into which we made our way, and there we kindled a fire, and prepared +our breakfast. We filled our coffee kettle from the brook. A hazel twig +served us for a toasting fork; and we were soon engaged in one of the +pleasantest parts of a hungry traveller's work. We relished our bread +and ham and coffee amazingly. The wolves might be snuffing the odor of +our viands, and coveting our repast; but they remained within their +hiding-places, and kept silent; and we finished our meal in peace. + +We rested next on the outskirts of a grove on the banks of the Elkhorn +river. Here I was left to take care of the stuff, to prepare a bed, and +to gather wood for a fire to cook our supper, and to frighten away the +wolves, and keep us warm through the night, I gathered a quantity of dry +and withered grass, and spread it on the ground, and covered it with a +blanket, for a bed. I then looked around for wood. I saw some down in a +dark deep gully, and went to fetch it; when I found myself all alone and +unarmed in front of a hideous wolf-hole. I retreated with all the haste +I could, and was soon on the top of the bank again, panting and +trembling, and endeavoring to increase the distance between myself and +the horrible den as rapidly as I could. I next looked round for wood on +safer ground, and having collected a quantity, I waited with anxiety for +the return of my companions. We slept that night in a half-built and +deserted log cabin, without doors or windows, put up by some adventurous +border-man to secure a claim to a portion of the surrounding land. A +considerable part of the cabin was without roof. And there were large +spaces between the layers of logs through which the frosty winds had +free admission. For a time we deliberated whether we should be colder +inside the cabin or outside. At length we decided in favor of the +interior. We then took the wagon body off the frame and carried it into +the cabin, and raised it on one side to screen us from the wind which +came through the cabin walls. Against the wall at our head we fixed up +rugs. At our feet, between our bed and the open doorway, we had our +blazing fire. And there we slept. We had prickly sensations in our eyes +in the morning, but they soon passed away. We took no cold, or none that +proved serious at all. And the wolves seemed to keep at a respectable +distance. + +As soon as we had got through our breakfast, and put our wagon and team +in order, we started homewards. At one point, as we passed along, a wolf +looked quietly down upon us from the side of a hill just by. A bigger +one had passed us as we stood in front of the half-built cabin in which +we had passed the night. The region abounded with them, on every side. + +While crossing a tract of rich bottom land, where the dry and withered +grass of the previous summer lay thick, I struck a light, and for an +experiment, set the prairie on fire. The flames blazed forth at once +like gunpowder. They spread and roared. The wind rose, and blew the +flames in the direction of our wagon. It was all we could do to get to +the wagon and jump in and flee. We had no sooner started the horses than +we found that the traces of one of them were loose, and we had to jump +out again to fasten them; and before we could retake our places the +flames were almost at our ears. The horses fled, however, at a good +quick pace, and speedily carried us beyond the reach of danger, and we +got safe home. + +2. There were many things in my new situation and in my strange way of +life, besides the silence and the solitude of a boundless desert, that +were calculated to awaken within me solemn feeling, and to rouse me to +serious thoughtfulness on things pertaining to God and religion. And +when once my mind had begun to awake to such matters, it was never +permitted to sink again, for any length of time, into its former +death-like slumber. And many things befel me that tended to make me +feel, and feel most painfully at times, the helplessness and +cheerlessness, the gloom and wretchedness, of the man who has lost his +trust in God, and his hope of a blessed immortality. There is nothing in +utter doubt and unbelief to satisfy a man with a heart. A man with a +heart wants a Father in whose bosom he can repose, a Saviour in whose +care and sympathy he can trust, and a better world to which he can look +forward as his final home and resting-place, and as the eternal home and +resting-place of those who are dear to him. And I _had_ a heart. I was +not made for infidelity. I never submitted to it willingly, and I never +sat easy under its power. I had affections, cravings, wants, which +nothing but religion could satisfy. + +3. Then trouble came. Infidelity is a wretched affair even in +prosperity; but in adversity it is still worse. And adversity overtook +me. In the spring of 1857 we had a reasonable income, from property +which we supposed to be of considerable value. A few weeks later a panic +came, and our income fell to nothing; our property was valueless; +instead of a support it became a burden, and we had to set to work to +get a living by our labor, at a time when work was hard to be got, and +when wages were down at the lowest point. This was a time of great +distress and grievous trial, and I felt the want of consolation most +keenly. I could once have said, "Although the fig tree shall not +blossom, neither shall fruit be on the vines; the labor of the olive +shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut +off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls; yet will I +rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." But now I +_had_ no God. The universe had no great Fatherly Ruler. The affairs of +man were governed by chance, or by a harsh and grinding necessity; and +all good ground of hope and cheerful trust had given place to doubt, and +gloom, and cruel uncertainty. + +4. Trials of other kinds came. Sickness and pain entered our dwelling, +and seized upon one of my family. My youngest son was taken ill. He was +racked with excruciating pain. It seemed as if the agony would drive him +to distraction, or cut short his days. And there I stood, watching his +agony, and distracted with his cries, unable to utter a whisper about a +gracious Providence, or to offer up a prayer for help or deliverance. + +5. Another dear one was afflicted; and again my heart was torn, and +again my lips were sealed. I could not even say to the suffering one, +"God bless you." + +6. I was called to attend the funeral of a child. The parents were in +great distress, and I was anxious to speak to them a word of comfort; +but doubt and unbelief had left me no such word to speak. I remembered +the day when I could have said, "Of such is the kingdom of heaven." + + "They rest in Jesus, and are blest, + How sweet their slumbers are." + +But the happy day was gone, and I was dumb in the presence of the +mourners. + +7. I was called, on another occasion, to visit a friend, a brother +skeptic, who was sick and likely to die. I had often visited him when he +was well, and we had managed, on those occasions, to interest or amuse +each other; but now we were helpless. Both were in sorrow, and neither +could console his brother. And there we were, looking mournfully on each +other in the face of death, speechless and comfortless. I am horrified +when I think of the dreadful position in which I was placed on those +solemn occasions. It seemed to me as if I had been enchanted all those +dreary days by some malignant demon, and made the sport of his infernal +cruelty. My friend, like myself, had been a Christian in his earlier +days, and had rejoiced in the assurance of God's love and favor, and in +hopes of future and eternal blessedness; and now he was passing away in +utter cheerlessness and hopelessness. He died, and I followed his +remains to the grave. I spoke; but I had no great comforting truths with +which to cheer the sad hearts of his weeping kindred. I looked down, +with his disconsolate widow, and his sorrowing children, into the dark +cold vault, but could say not a single word of a better life. We +sorrowed as those who have no hope. + +8. While I was in Nebraska my mother died. Like my father, who had died +some years before, she had been a Christian from her early days; a very +happy one; and she continued a Christian to the last. She was one of the +most affectionate and devoted mothers that ever lived. She had eleven +children. The eldest one died when he was twenty-one, after having spent +a number of years, young as he was, as an able and useful minister of +Christ. He died a happy death. The remaining ten were all permitted to +grow up to manhood and womanhood, and my mother had the happiness at one +time, an unspeakable happiness to her, to see them all, with one +exception, devoted to the service of God, and several of them engaged +as preachers of the Gospel. They were joyful days to her when she could +get them all together, as she sometimes did, to sing with her the sweet +hymns of praise and gratitude, of hope and rapture, which had cheered +her so often during the years of her pilgrimage. And now she was gone. I +had seen her some years before when on a visit to my native land. She +know of my skeptical tendencies, and though she had faith in my desire +to be right, she was afraid lest I should miss my way, and entreated me +with all the affectionate tenderness of an anxious mother, not to allow +myself to be carried away from the faith and hope of the Gospel. "Do +pray, my dear son," she said,--"Do pray that God may lead you in the +right path. I want to meet you all in heaven. It would be a dreadful +thing if any of you should be found wanting at last. Don't forsake God. +Don't leave Christ. Religion is a reality; a blessed reality. I know it, +I feel it, my dear son. It is the pearl of great price." These were the +last words I heard from her lips. I listened to them in silence. Though +I was too far gone to be able to sympathize with her remarks as much as +I ought, I was wishful that she should enjoy all the comfort that her +faith could give her. She wept; she prayed for me; she kissed me; and I +left her, to see her face no more on earth. I returned to my home in +America, and the next thing I heard of the dear good creature was, that +she had finished her course. I kept the sad intelligence to myself, for +my heart was too full to allow me to speak of my loss, even to those who +were nearest and dearest to me. I thought of all her love for me from my +earliest days; and of all her labors and sacrifices for my comfort and +welfare. I remembered her counsels and her warnings. I remembered her +last kind words, her kiss, her prayers, her tears. It seems dreadful; +but unbelief had so chilled my soul, that I could no longer indulge the +sweet thought of an immortal life even for the soul of my dear good +Christian mother. I had once had visions of a land of rest, a paradise +of bliss, and countless crowds of happy souls, and rapturous songs, and +shouts of praise, and joyous meetings of loving and long parted friends +in realms of endless life and boundless blessedness; but all were gone. +A sullen gloom, a deathlike stupor, a horrible and unnatural paralysis +of hope had come in place of those sweet visions of celestial glories. +My only comfort was, that though I had ceased to believe in the divinity +of Christianity myself, _she_ had retained her faith, and had lived and +died in the enjoyment of its consolations. + +9. We had a young woman that had lived with us, with the exception of +two short intervals, all the time we had been in America. She had come +to regard us as her natural guardians, and we had come to look on her as +one of our family. The second time she left us she caught a fever, and +returned to us in hopes that in her old and quiet home she would soon be +well again. We procured her medical aid, but the fever got worse. The +doctor lost hopes, and it soon began to be evident, that she was doomed +to a speedy death. I attended her during the last sad night of her +sufferings. I heard her moanings as her life drew slowly towards a +close. I wanted to comfort her, but I had lost the power. I could once +have spoken to her of a Father in heaven, and of a better world; but I +could speak on those subjects no longer. I could once have kneeled by +her side and prayed; but I could pray no more. I could neither comfort +myself nor my dying charge. She passed away without a word of +consolation or a whisper of hope to cheer her as she trod the dark +valley of the shadow of death. I stood by, afflicted and comfortless, +when her lifeless form was committed to its final resting-place, unable +to speak a word of hope or consolation to the sorrowing minds that were +gathered around her grave. She was interred on the slope of the hill, on +the opposite side of the stream over against my farm, within view of the +field and the garden in which I often worked, and the lonely dwelling in +which I frequently slept. And there she lay, far from her kindred and +her native land, the wild winds moaning over her solitary grave, and no +sweet word about God, or Christ, or a better life, to mark the spot +where she slept. And there, on that quiet farm, and in that solitary +dwelling, with that one melancholy grave in view, I passed at times the +long sad days, and the still and solemn nights, in utter loneliness, +gazing on the desolate scenes around, or feeding on saddening thoughts +within, "without hope and without God in the world." I sought for +comfort in a Godless and Christless philosophy, but sought in vain. I +tried to extort from nature some word of consolation, but not a whisper +could I obtain. I tried to forge some theory of my own that might lessen +the gloom in which I was wrapt; but my efforts were fruitless. The light +of life was quenched; the joy, the bliss of being was no more. I had +"forsaken the fountain of living waters," and nothing remained but +broken cisterns that could hold no water. I was wretched; and, apart +from God, and Christ, and immortality, my wretchedness was incurable; +and the sense of my wretchedness prepared me, and ultimately constrained +me, to look once more in the direction of the religion that had cheered +me in my earlier days. + +10. I had a great and grievous trial of another kind while in Nebraska. +When we removed to that far-off country, we left our eldest son in Ohio +to look after our interests there, and to send off to us what goods we +might require in our new home. The river Ohio, down which our goods had +to be sent, was low at the time, and the steamer on which they were +placed, while racing recklessly with another steamer, struck on a rock +and was wrecked. There were over a thousand volumes of my books on +board, the best and principal part of my library; nearly all my +manuscripts too were on board, and much other property, amounting in +value to twelve or thirteen hundred pounds; over $6,000; and nearly all +was lost, or irreparably damaged. + +This however was but a light part of the trial. As soon as my eldest son +got news of the wreck, he hastened to the spot, to save what portions of +our property he could. The weather was hot by day, and cold by night. +Both the season and the place were unhealthy, and by his great anxiety, +and excessive labors, and continual exposure, he brought on a violent +fever. The first information we received about the matter was that he +was dying. When the dreadful tidings reached us we were more than a +thousand miles away. I started at once for Ohio, and made what haste I +could to reach my son; but go what way I would, I must be four or five +long days on the road, and four or five long nights. I took my way down +the river. For four long days and four long dreary nights I travelled, +in doubt all the time whether my child was dead or alive. And all that +time I was unable to offer up a prayer, either for my son, myself, or +the anxious and sorrowing ones I had left behind. Nor could I apply to +myself a single consolatory promise of Scripture. My mad antichristian +philosophy had robbed me of all. God and His Providence, Christ and His +sympathy, heaven and its blessedness, were all gone, and nothing was +left but the hard blank horrors of inexorable fate. My soul was shut up +as in a dungeon, unable to help itself. It was stretched on a rack, and +tortured with excruciating pain. Those four long dreary days and nights +were the darkest and most miserable I ever passed. But God was merciful. +I lived to reach the end of my dreadful journey, and He had spared my +son. We embraced,--we wept. We were spared--the whole of our family were +spared, thank God--for better days, and for a happier lot. + +11. There were other events which befell me while I was in Nebraska, +that had a salutary influence on my mind. I was frequently in the +greatest danger, and was as frequently preserved from harm. As I have +said, I slept three nights with a rattlesnake within three inches of my +breast. My eldest son slept repeatedly in the same terrible position; +yet we both escaped unhurt. Once I was within an inch--within a hair's +breadth, I may say--of being killed by the kick of a horse. On another +occasion, when my eldest son was forking hay in the field, and I was +piling it on the wagon, he heard a rattlesnake, and looked all round +upon the ground to find it, with a view to kill it, but looked in vain. +At length, turning his eyes upwards, he saw it writhing and wriggling on +one of the prongs of his hayfork, which he was holding up in the air. He +had pierced the deadly creature while forking the hay, and I had taken +the hay from the fork with my naked hands, and escaped unbitten. I had +quite a multitude of escapes from deadly peril, some more remarkable +than those I have described. And there were times when the thoughts of +those wonderful deliverances made me feel, that there were far more +incredible doctrines than that of a watchful and gracious Providence. + +12. Again. When I commenced my career of religious exploration, I +expected I should get rid of all difficulties, and that I should reach a +region at last where all would be light; where there would be no more +harassing or perplexing mysteries. For a time my hopes appeared to get +realized. The doctrines of Calvinism I threw away in mass, and thus got +rid of the difficulties connected with predestination, election and +reprobation. The difficulties connected with infinite and absolute +fore-knowledge I got rid of by modifying and limiting the doctrine. Many +theological difficulties appeared to arise, not from the doctrines of +Scripture, but from anti-christian fictions, and false theories of +Scripture doctrines. These I set aside without much ceremony. But when +one difficulty was disposed of, another made its appearance, and in some +cases several. And when I got outside the religion of Christ, more +difficulties than ever made their appearance, and difficulties often of +a more appalling character. The doctrine of predestination came back in +the shape of fate or necessity. All the great difficulties of theology +had ugly likenesses in infidel philosophy. Instead of reaching a region +of unsullied light, I got into one of clouds and darkness. And the +further I wandered, the blacker the clouds became, and the thicker the +darkness. The difficulties, the perplexities, on the side of unbelief, +were more distressing and embarrassing than those I had encountered on +the side of Christianity. + +13. Again. I was frequently tried by the characters of unbelievers. I +had read and believed that many of the older unbelievers had been +immoral; but I supposed that modern unbelievers were a better class. I +had seen a number of statements to that effect in books and newspapers, +some of them proceeding from Christians, and even from Christian +ministers. I was disposed to believe that even the older infidels had +not been so bad as represented. I knew that _I_ had been belied, and I +considered it probable that all who had had quarrels or controversies +with members of the priesthood, had been belied in like manner. I +believed for a long time, that the loss of faith in the supernatural +origin of Christianity and the Bible, had made me better, in some +respects, instead of worse. I thought no changes had taken place in my +character, but what, on the whole, were improvements. For years after I +became an unbeliever, I endeavored to practise all the unquestionable +virtues inculcated in the Bible, and I was disposed to believe that +modern unbelievers generally did the same. And when I lectured against +the Divine authority of the Bible, I disclaimed, as I have already said, +all sympathy with those who rejected the Bible because it +discountenanced vice. And such was the violence of my anti-religious +fanaticism, that I had actually come at one time to believe that +infidelity, in connection with natural science, was more friendly to +virtue than Christianity. + +But my faith in this view met with many rude shocks after I had been +some time in America. Often when I came to be acquainted with the men +who invited me to lecture, I was ashamed to be seen standing with them +in the streets; and I shrank from the touch of their hand as from +pollution. And many a time when I had associated with persons for a +length of time, thinking them above suspicion, I was amazed to find, at +length, that they looked on vicious indulgence as harmless, and were +astonished that any man who had lost his faith in Christianity, should +have scruples with regard to fornication or adultery. Though these +painful discoveries did not at once convince me that infidelity was +wrong, and Christianity right, they were not without effect. They +lessened my respect for the infidel philosophy, and prepared the way for +my return to Christ. In England, where I expected on my return, to find +unbelievers better, I found them worse. I supposed that the Secularists +thought as I did with regard to virtue. I thought their object was to +advance the temporal interests of mankind, and never dreamt but that +they regarded virtue as the greatest of those interests. And when I +found first one and then another to be dishonest, drunken, licentious, I +was disposed to regard them as exceptions to the general rule. To the +last; nay, for some time after my entire separation from the party, I +supposed the profligate, unprincipled, abandoned ones to be the few, and +the honest and virtuous ones to be the many. And when at length I was +convinced past doubt of my mistake, the effect was terribly painful. But +it was salutary. It went far towards convincing me, that whether +religion was founded in truth or not, it was necessary to the virtue and +happiness of mankind. It prepared me and inclined me still further to +return to Christ, and brought me a step or two nearer to His side. + +14. Then again, the influences of my family were strongly in my favor. I +had a wife that always loved me, and that never ceased to pray. And I +had children that grew up believers, to a great extent, under the shadow +of my unbelief. They had suffered, as I have already said, from the +cruel treatment to which they had seen their father subjected: they had +been awfully prejudiced against certain classes of ministers, if not +against ministers generally; but now their prejudices were well nigh +gone. And they had never been embittered against Christianity. And now +they had come to feel strongly in its favor, and to look on skepticism +both as a great error, and a terrible calamity. My youngest son was +something of a genius. He was a clever mathematician, and an acute +logician. And he would say to me sometimes, when he heard me uttering +antichristian sentiments, "Father, I think you are wrong. I am sure you +are wrong on that point; and if you will listen to me I think I can +convince you that you are." And I did listen. I had long been accustomed +to regard my children more as friends and companions, than as inferiors, +and to encourage them to speak to me with all freedom. And they were +kind and considerate enough as a rule to use the liberty I gave them +without abusing it; so I hearkened to their remarks and remonstrances. +And there were occasions on which the logic of the child proved mightier +than the logic of the father--there were cases in which the father +learned lessons of truth, from those whom he ought to have instructed. +My eldest son, if not so powerful in logic, was surpassed by none in +goodness and tenderness; and if his brother excelled him in acuteness +and caution, no one could excel him in devout and passionate longings +for his father's return to Christ. And both these sons, and the whole of +my family, exerted an influence, which tended first to check the +extravagances of my skepticism, and then to help and hasten my return to +the truth as it is in Jesus. + +My sons assisted me in more ways than one. They were more observant of +men than I was, and they were better judges of character. And they had +better opportunities than I had, of learning what the infidels with whom +they came in contact, really were, both in their principles and way of +life. And they were readier to receive the truth on the subject than I. +The consequence was, that both in America and in England, they gathered +up a multitude of facts that I should have passed unnoticed; and were +prepared to use them for my benefit, when the proper time should come. +And the proper time did come at length. I could believe nothing against +parties with whom I was connected, on any one's testimony, till I had +begun myself to detect their misdoings. My wife and children knew this, +so they never troubled me with _their_ discoveries, till I had myself +begun to make similar discoveries. As soon as they found I had seen +enough to shake my confidence in a number of the unbelievers--as soon as +they found that I had got rid of my mad prejudices in favor of the +parties, and had so far come to myself as to have obtained the use of my +eyes and understanding, they knew that the time for making known to me +_their_ discoveries had come. And they made them known. And they agreed +so perfectly with what I myself had seen and proved, that I could no +longer discredit their statements. And they explained a multitude of +other matters. Thus another blow was struck, both at my faith in +skeptics, and my faith in skepticism. + +And both my wife and children had, on the whole, wonderful patience with +me in my tardy movements towards the truth. When I consider how much of +evil they saw in connexion with infidelity, and how strong their feeling +was of the truth and necessity of religion, I wonder at their +forbearance. At times their patience was well-nigh exhausted, but they +seldom betrayed the fact by their behavior. But my eldest son informed +me, after my return to Christ, that at one time, doubting whether I +should ever be cured of my insanity, he made up his mind to forswear all +other occupations, and give himself exclusively to the Christian +ministry, that he might spend his life and powers in a ceaseless warfare +against the horrible delusions to which I seemed so irretrievably +wedded. + +15. In the year 1857, towards the close of the summer, I left my home in +Nebraska for a time, and went eastward on a lecturing tour. My first +appointment was at East Liverpool, in Ohio. There I met with my good, +old friend John Donaldson, of Byker, near Newcastle-on-Tyne, England. He +spoke of days long past, when we worked together in the cause of Christ. +He was kind, as he had always been; but it troubled him to find me so +changed--so far estranged from the views of former times. Though glad to +see my friend, the memories which his presence revived, of the days when +I was a happy and a useful minister of Christ, and the partial +re-awakening of old religious thoughts and feelings which it occasioned, +made me feel, for a moment, an indescribable sensation, as of one who +had got an unlooked-for glimpse of some fearful loss he had sustained, +or of some tremendous mistake he had committed. My infidel logic, +however, hastened to my aid, and assured me I was right; but the deep +and deathless instincts of my soul were not entirely at rest. + +I reached Philadelphia at length. There I was engaged by Dr. W. Wright +for eight months. I lectured every Sunday, sometimes on theological, +sometimes on moral, and sometimes on scientific and general subjects. I +always urged on my hearers a virtuous life, and did what I could to +escape the society of persons of immoral habits. And I thought, for a +time, I had succeeded. But I was grievously mistaken. One of the acting +men in my congregation was a Plymouth man. He, as I afterwards found, +had deserted his wife and family, and was living with another woman. +Another, a more important member of my congregation, whom I supposed to +be an example of propriety, turned out to be an advocate of unlimited +license. And another, a man of great wealth, who had often invited me to +his house, and shown me kindness in other ways, I found, after his +death, had never been married to the person with whom he had lived as +his wife. I also found that he had another family in another part of the +city. I mention these unpleasant matters to show, that facts were not +wanting to shake my faith in the moral influence of infidel principles. +The gentleman by whom I was employed, treated me with great respect and +kindness, and some of my congregation did what they could to make me +comfortable; but the longer I remained in my position, the less +encouragement I saw to expect infidelity or skepticism to produce a +virtuous and honorable life. + +The gentleman by whom I was employed had thought of expending some fifty +thousand dollars in building a hall, and endowing a lecture, &c., for +the propagation of infidel principles; but the conduct of the skeptics +that gathered round him, soon cured him of his anti-christian zeal. + +16. Before my term was quite expired, I was engaged by another gentleman +for eight months. But I had seen so much to shake my faith in the +beneficent tendency of infidelity, that this time I left myself free, +both to lecture on what subjects I thought best, and to leave my +situation on two months' notice. As my new engagement did not commence +for three months or more, I had the happiness of spending some time in +the bosom of my family. As usual, the influences to which I was subject +there were all calculated to abate my faith in irreligious principles, +and to dispose me to look with less disfavor and prejudice on +Christianity. In August I started again for Philadelphia. I left my +family with sadness and tears, and I proceeded on my journey with a +feeling that it would not be long before my labors in Philadelphia would +come to an end. And the feeling grew stronger every week. The Hebrews +had a hard task when they were required to make bricks without straw; +but he who undertakes to make people good without religion, has to make +bricks without clay--and that is a vast deal harder. I felt my position +was not the right one, and I longed and sighed for something more in +accordance with my gradually changing views and better feelings; but +knew not exactly what it was I needed, or where it was to be found. I +frequently attended the ministry of Dr. Furness, the Unitarian minister; +and though his preaching was far from being all it should be, his +sermons had a salutary effect on my mind. His words about God and duty, +about Christ and immortality, fell on my soul at times like refreshing +dew. I also went to hear the Rev. Albert Barnes, and was both pleased +and surprised with the truth and excellence of many of his remarks. I +heard several other ministers; but the irrational and anti-christian +doctrines set forth by some of them, exerted an influence on my mind +which was the opposite of salutary. + +At the end of two months I gave notice to my committee that I should +give up my situation as lecturer. I had come to the conclusion, that to +war with Christianity was not the way to promote the virtue and +happiness of mankind, and I told my congregation so. I added, that if we +were even sure that the sentiments entertained by Christians were +erroneous, it would be well to refrain from assailing them, till we had +something better to put in their place. And I also advised them, now +they were about to be left without a lecturer, to go to some place of +worship; and if they could not hear exactly what they could like, to +make the best of what they did hear, and by all means to live a +virtuous, honorable, and useful life. I gave similar advice to +congregations in other places, and by many it was well received. + +When I gave up my situation in Philadelphia, my intention was to return +to England. I was anxious to free myself, as far as possible, from men +of extreme views, whether in religion or politics, and to place myself +in a position in which I should be perfectly free to pursue whatever +course a regard to truth and duty might require. I made up my mind, +therefore, that on my arrival in England, I would stand alone, apart +from all societies and public men, and have a paper of my own, and +publish from time to time whatever might commend itself to my judgment +as true and good. I knew I had changed during the last two years, though +I did not know how much; and I believed I was changing, though I could +not tell in what the change which was taking place would end. I had no +idea that I could ever become a Christian again, though the tendency of +the change which was taking place in me was in that direction. + +Having taken leave of my friends, I hastened to Boston, and prepared for +my voyage across the deep. I was to sail by the Royal Mail Steamship +_Canada_, on the eleventh of January, 1860. Just as I was stepping on +board the packet, I received a letter from my youngest son. Among a +number of other kind things, it contained words like the following: +"Father, dear, when you get to England, don't dream that by any breath +of yours, or by any paper balls that you can fire, you can ever shatter +or shake the eternal foundations on which Christianity rests." Words +like those from a dear good son could not but have a powerful effect on +my mind. + +And now I started on my voyage. I had never ventured on the sea before +without dread of shipwreck and drowning. This time I had no such fear. +On the contrary, as the vessel threaded her way among the rocks and +islands of Boston Harbor, I experienced a strange and unaccountable +elevation of soul. I had not felt so cheerful, so hopeful, so happy, for +many years. And this delightful joyousness of soul continued during the +whole of the voyage. Yet I had never gone to sea at so dangerous a +season. And I never encountered such fearful and long-continued storms. +Before we had fairly lost sight of the last point of land, the winds, +which were already raging with unusual violence, began to blow more +furiously. They fell on us in the most fearful blasts, and roared around +us in a deafening howl. The sea was thrown into the wildest uproar. The +vessel was tossed and tumbled about in the most merciless manner. One +moment she was plunging head foremost into the deep; the next she was +climbing the most stupendous waves. Now her right wheel was vainly +laboring deep in the water, while her left was spinning uselessly in the +air; then her right wheel was whirling in the air, while her left was +splurging in the deep. Sometimes the waves swept over the vessel, while +at other times they would strike her so rudely on the side, that she +staggered through all her timbers. After the storm had raged for two or +three days, there came what are called white squalls. A light grey cloud +appears in the distance, and as it approaches you, it sends forth +lightnings, accompanied with hurried bursts of thunder. A furious storm +of hail or snow immediately follows. The howl of the tempest rises to a +yell, and the squall, as it sweeps along in its fury, cuts off the tops +of the waves, and scatters them in foam over the surface of the deep +like a mantle of snow. The first of those squalls went right through our +large square sail, tearing it to shreds. Another sent a wave on board +which snapped in pieces stanchions of wrought iron thicker than my arms, +and carried away one of our best boats. And this unspeakable uproar of +the elements continued for several days. At times I crept on deck for a +few moments, and, holding by the rigging, gazed on the wild magnificence +of the appalling scene. And all this time my heart, instead of being +tortured with its customary fears, was full of a cheerful joyous +confidence. It was as if some spirit of heaven had taken possession of +my soul to give me sweet presentiments of the approach of better days. +And so perhaps it was. I was moving onwards, though I knew it not, to a +happier destiny, and the peace and joy I felt were as the dawn or +twilight of the coming day of my redemption. + +We reached Liverpool at length, and I was soon at Betley, the native +place of my wife, which was to be my temporary home. And now, if I had +fallen into good hands, or if the better thoughts and tendencies of my +soul had been sufficiently strong, I might have entered at once on a +happier course. But I encountered an unlooked-for difficulty. As I have +said, my intention was, on landing in England, to begin a periodical, +and to keep apart from persons of extravagant views. I was not a +Christian, nor did I, at the time, suppose I should ever become one; but +I was an earnest moralist, and I had become more moderate in my ideas +both on religious and political subjects. And I was, to some extent, +prepared to receive fresh light. I had got an impression,--I had had it +for some time before I left America,--that my mind was not in a +thoroughly healthy state,--that it was not exactly itself,--that it was +so much biassed in favor of irreligion, that it was incapable of doing +justice to arguments for a God and Providence, for a spiritual world and +a future life. I partly believed, and now I know, that facts and +arguments in favor of the great fundamental doctrines of religion, did +not affect and influence me so much as they ought,--that my doubts and +disbeliefs were stronger than facts or the nature of things warranted. I +suspected, what now I regard as past doubt, that erroneous principles, +and a defective method of reasoning, and long practice in searching out +flaws in arguments, and detecting and exposing errors and pious frauds, +had disposed me too strongly to distrust and disbelief,--that I was in +fact a slave to bad habits of thought and reasoning, as really as the +inveterate drunkard is the slave to his irrational appetite for strong +drink. What I should believe in case the freedom of my mind and the just +and harmonious action of its powers were fully restored, I could not +tell; but I had a strong impression, amounting to something like an +assurance, that I should believe more than I did with respect to God and +a spiritual world. Had I, on arriving in England, found myself in +favorable circumstances, my mind might quickly have recovered its +freedom, and returned, in part at least, to the faith of its earlier +days. But this was not my lot. I was beset with new temptations, and was +doomed to further disappointments. + +The Secularists had got out a prospectus of a new paper, and I was urged +to become one of the editors; and thinking that it would seem mean and +selfish to begin a paper of my own under such circumstances, I +reluctantly consented. I however stipulated for full control over one +half of the paper, and when I found that articles of a disgraceful and +mischievous tendency were published in the other half, I published a +special notice in mine, every week, that I was not answerable for those +articles. + +In August 1860 my wife and children arrived in England. They were sorry +to find me in connection with that paper and with the party which it +represented; and they set themselves at once to work to bring about a +change; and it was not long before they succeeded. A book, written by a +leading Secularist, was sent to me for review. When I read it, I found +that its object was to undermine marriage and bring it into disrepute, +and to induce men and women to abandon honorable wedlock, and to +substitute for it unbounded sensual license. It was the filthiest, the +most horrible and revolting production I had ever read. This loathsome +book had already been advertised in the paper of which I was one of the +editors, and in the part of the paper over which I had no control, it +had been strongly recommended. I found, too, that it had been very +extensively circulated among the readers of the paper, and that the +Secularist leaders were adopting measures to promote its still more +extensive circulation. I at once exposed the villainous production in my +portion of the paper. As far as a respect for decency would permit, I +laid its loathsome and horrible abominations before my readers. This led +to an instant, a total, and final separation between me and the friends +of the licentious book. + +I now commenced a Paper of my own, and I said to myself, and I said to +my children: "I will now re-read the Bible; I will examine Christianity; +I will review the history of the Church; I will examine the character +and workings of the various religious organizations of the day; and +whatever I find in them that is true or good, I will lay before my +readers. I am not a Christian," said I; "and I never expect to be one; +but I will do justice to the Christian cause to the best of my ability. +I have said and written enough on the skeptical side: I will see what +there is to be said on the Christian side." + +I had no idea of the greatness of the task I was undertaking. I supposed +that ten or a dozen articles would be sufficient to set forth all that +was true and good in the Bible. But when I came to examine the Book, +with my somewhat altered views, and enlarged experience, and chastened +feelings, I found in it treasures of truth and goodness, of beauty and +blessedness, of which, even in my better days, I seemed to have had but +a very inadequate conception. I was touched with a hundred precepts of +mercy and tenderness in the laws of Moses. I was startled and delighted +with many Old Testament stories. The character of Job, as portrayed in +the twenty-ninth and thirty-first chapters of the book that goes under +his name, melted me to tears. I was delighted with the purity and +tenderness, the beauty and sublimity of the Psalms. I was amazed at the +depth and vastness of the wisdom of the Book of Proverbs. I was pleased +with the stern fidelity with which the prophets rebuked the vices and +the crimes, the selfishness and cruelty, of the sinners of their days, +and the tenderness and devotion with which they pleaded the cause of the +poor, the fatherless, and the widow. When I came to the Gospels, and +read again the wonderful story of the Man of Nazareth, my whole soul +gave way. The beauty, the tenderness, the glory of His character +overpowered me. I was ashamed, that I should ever have so fearfully +misconceived it, and done it such grievous injustice. The tears rolled +from my eyes, moistening the book in which I was reading, and the paper +on which I was writing. But I proceeded with my task. I pondered every +word He uttered, and was delighted with His glorious revelations of God, +and truth, and duty. I gazed on all His wondrous works. I marked, I +studied, every trait in his character. I read the sad story of His +trials. I traced him through all His sufferings. I saw the indignities +and cruelties to which He was subjected, and I saw the meekness, the +patience, and the fortitude with which He suffered. I saw Him on the +cross. I heard the prayer which He offered in the midst of His agonies +in behalf of His murderers, 'Father, forgive them; they know not what +they do.' And still I read, and still I gazed, and still I listened. I +was entranced. I had thought to stand at a distance; to look at Jesus +with the eye of a philosopher and moralist only, and calmly and coolly +to take His portrait; but I was overpowered. The strange, the touching +sight drew me nearer. The loving one got hold of me. His infinite +tenderness, His transcendent goodness, the glory of His whole character, +and life, and doctrine took me captive; and I was no way loth to be held +by such charms. He had won me entirely. I loved Him with all my heart +and soul. I was His,--His disciple, His servant, entirely, and forever. +And I wanted no other treasure but to share His love, and no other +employment but to share His work. I was, though but very imperfectly +enlightened on many things, and exceedingly weak and imperfect in many +respects, most blessedly and indissolubly wedded to Christ and His +cause. + +I drew the portrait of the Saviour to the best of my ability, and sent +the articles to the press. It fell to the lot of my children, in +correcting the press, to read those articles. And when they read them, +they too wept, and one said to another, "Father is coming right; he will +be himself again by and by." And they were right in thinking so. I had +come in contact with the Great Healer. I had got a sight of One on whom +it is impossible to look steadfastly and long without experiencing a +thorough transformation of soul. And so it was with me. From my first +look I became less and less of a skeptic, and more and more of a +believer in Christianity, till my transformation was complete. + +The more I read the Bible with my altered feelings and change of +purpose, the more was I impressed with its transcendent worth, and the +more was I influenced by its renovating power. I saw that whatever might +be said with regard to particular portions of the Book, it was, as a +whole, the grandest revelation of truth and duty that the mind of man +could conceive. I could no longer find in my heart to talk or write +about what appeared to be its imperfections. There were passages that +seemed dark or doubtful: there were some that seemed erroneous or +contradictory; but they amounted to nothing. They did not affect the +scope, the drift, the aim, the tendency of the Book as a whole. They +might not be consistent with certain erroneous theories of inspiration, +or with certain unguarded statements of extravagant theologians; but +they were consistent with the belief that the book, as a whole, was +worthy of the Great Good being from whom it was said to have come, and +adapted to the illumination and salvation of the race to which it had +been given. Christianity began to present itself to my mind as the +truest philosophy; as the perfection of all wisdom and goodness. While +it met man's spiritual wants, and cheered him with the promise of +eternal bliss, it was manifestly its tendency to promote his highest +interests even in the present world. As the clouds that had darkened my +mind passed away, it become plain as the light, that if mankind could be +brought to receive its teachings, and to live in accordance with its +principles, the world would become a paradise. + +2. I reviewed Church History. While under the influence of +anti-Christian views and feelings, I had read the history of the Church +and Christianity with a view to justify my unbelief, rather than with a +desire to know the simple truth. I had looked more for facts which could +be used to damage the Church, than for fair full views of things. My +mind had dwelt particularly on the Church's quarrels, its divisions, its +intolerance, and its wars;--on the favor which the clergy had sometimes +shown to slavery and to despotism;--on their asceticisms, fanaticisms, +and follies; and on cases of fraud, and selfishness, and impurity. I had +read as an advocate retained to plead the cause of unbelief, rather than +as a candid judge, or an unbiassed student, anxious to know and teach +the whole truth. I was not conscious of my unfairness at the time, but I +now began to see that I had been influenced by my irreligious passions +and prejudices. I saw, on looking over my Guizot for instance, that I +had marked the passages which contained matters not creditable to the +clergy, and passed unnoticed those portions of the work which set forth +the services which the Church and Christianity had rendered to +civilization. I also remembered how eagerly I had swallowed the unfair +representations and fallacious reasonings of Buckle with regard to +Christianity and skepticism, and how impatiently I had hurried over what +reviewers friendly to Christianity said on the other side of the +subject. The balance of my mind was at length restored. I now saw that +Christianity had proved itself the friend of peace and freedom, of +learning and science, of trade and agriculture, of temperance and +purity, of justice and charity, of domestic comfort and national +prosperity. The history of Christianity was the history of our superior +laws, of our improved manners, of our beneficent institutions, of our +schools of learning, of our boundless wealth, of our constitutional +governments, of our unequalled literature, of our world-wide influence, +of our domestic happiness, and of all that goes to make up our highest +forms of civilization. Imperfectly as it had been understood, and +defectively as it had been reduced to practice, Christianity had placed +the nations of Europe at the head of the human race. Christian nations +were the most enlightened and virtuous, the most prosperous and +powerful, the most free and happy of all the nations of the earth. The +pious frauds, the intolerance and persecutions, the oppressions and +wrongs, the selfishness and sin, which were found in the history of the +Church, were not the effects of Christianity, but the effects of +passions and principles directly opposed to its spirit and teachings. + +3. I looked at the Churches of the day. I found them all at work for the +education of the young, and for the instruction and salvation of the +world. I saw them building schools and chapels, and supplying them with +teachers and preachers. I saw them printing books, and tracts, and +Bibles, and spreading them abroad in all directions. I saw them founding +libraries and reading-rooms, and young men's Christian associations, and +ladies' sewing societies. I saw them sending out missionaries abroad, +and carrying on a multitude of beneficent operations at home. I asked +for the schools and libraries, the books and periodicals, the halls of +science and the missionary operations of the enemies of Christianity; +but they were nowhere to be found. They _talked_ about education, but +instructed no one. They talked about science, but did nothing for its +spread or its advancement. They abused Christians for neglecting men's +temporal interests, but did nothing to promote men's earthly happiness +themselves. They found fault with Sunday-schools, and talked of the +faults of Christians, but never corrected their own. They talked of +liberty, and practised tyranny. They complained of intolerance, yet +followed such as renounced their society, or questioned their views, +with the bitterest reproaches, and the most heartless persecution. They +talked of reform, but sowed the seeds of rebellion, anarchy, and +unbounded licentiousness. + +The Christians had the advantage over their adversaries even in outward +appearance. They were cleaner and better clad, and were more orderly in +their deportment. There was quite a contrast between the crowds of +Christians that passed along the streets to their places of worship, and +the knots of Godless, Christless men who strolled along, or sat in their +doors, in their dirty clothes, with their unwashed faces, smoking their +pipes, or reading their filthy papers. There was a contrast between +Christian congregations and infidel meetings. One had the appearance of +purity and elevation; while the other had the stamp of pollution and +degradation. Irreligion seemed the nurse of coarseness and barbarism. +Some of the secularists actually argued against civilization, as +Rousseau had done before them. One of them reprinted Burke's ironical +work in favor of the savage state, and sent it to me for review, and was +greatly offended because I refused to recommend it as a sober, serious, +philosophical treatise to my readers. + +It was plain that there was something wrong in infidelity; that its +tendency was to vice and depravity; while Christianity, whether it was +divine in its origin or not, was evidently the friend and benefactor of +our race. + +In 1862, some friends of mine at Burnley, who had built a public hall +there, engaged me as their lecturer. The parties were unbelievers, but +they were opposed to the advocates of unbounded license. They were +favorable to morality, and wished to have an association that should +embody what they thought good in the Church, without being decidedly +religious. They wished to have music and singing at the Sunday meetings, +and to limit public discussion to the week-night meetings. They also +wished to have Sunday-schools, day-schools, reading-rooms, and +libraries. We had come to the conclusion that the Christians were right +on the whole in their way of conducting their public meetings, and we +were resolved to imitate them as far as we honestly could. And here I +lived and labored for more than a year. We did not succeed however so +well as we had expected. Our singers, and musicians, and Sunday-school +teachers had no high and powerful motive to keep them regularly at their +posts, so that whenever a strong temptation came to lure them away, they +ran from their tasks, and left me and another or two to toil alone. We +then formed a Church, and made laws, thinking to keep our associates to +their duty in that way. But this made matters worse. Their fancies and +pleasures were their laws, and they would obey no other. Most of our +teachers left, and I and a friend or two had to teach the school +ourselves. My friends established a day-school, and hired a teacher; but +he turned out to be an unbounded license man; he brought with him, in +fact, an unmarried woman instead of his wife, and they found it +necessary to get rid of him as soon as they could. + +All the time I was at Burnley my heart first, and then my head, were +coming nearer and nearer to Christ and Christianity. I gradually gave up +my opposition both to religion and to the churches. The last lecture in +which I gave utterance to anything unfavorable to the Bible was one on +Noah's flood. I spoke on the subject by request, and against my +inclination, and before I had got half through I began to feel +unutterably dissatisfied with myself. I was really unhappy. From that +time forward I dwelt chiefly on moral subjects, and often took occasion +to speak favorably of the Bible and Christianity. I tried to explain +what was dark, and to set forth what was manifestly true and good in +their teachings. + +I lectured on the wisdom of the Book of Proverbs, on the beauty of +Christ's character, and on the excellency of many of His doctrines, on +the advantages of faith in Christ, and on the follies and vices of +infidel secularism, and on quite a number of other Christian subjects. + +My younger son came to reside at Burnley while I was there, and we had +frequent talks as we walked together along the fields and lanes, and +over the neighboring hills; and this also helped to bring me nearer to +Christ and His Church. I read the works of Epictetus at this time, and +my faith in God and immortality, and my love of virtue too, were +strengthened by his reasonings. + +About the same time a person wrote to me to go and lecture at Goole. I +went. No subject had been named to me, and I resolved to speak in favor +of the leading practical principles of Christianity. When I got to +Goole, I found that the man who had invited me had put up a bill, +calling on his neighbors and fellow-townsmen to come and hear the +triumphant opponent of Christianity demolish their religion. I told him +he should not have put forth a bill like that,--that I was not an +opponent of Christianity,--that I was not an enemy of the +churches,--that I had no desire to demolish religion,--that I wished to +bring people to cherish and practise the leading principles of +Christianity. This rather puzzled and distressed him; but +notwithstanding his disappointment, he would have me lecture. The +meeting was out of doors. I soon had a large audience. I quickly +undeceived such as had come expecting to hear me vilify the Bible, the +churches, or religion. I spoke in the highest terms of Christ and His +teachings. I showed that many of them were the perfection of wisdom and +goodness. I spoke of the causes of human wretchedness, and showed that +obedience to the teachings of Christ and His Apostles would remove them +all. Many things that I said, and especially some remarks I made on +domestic duties and domestic happiness, went home to the hearts of my +hearers. Not a murmur was heard from any quarter. Men nudged each other, +and women looked in each others' faces, and all gave signs that they +felt the truth of my remarks, and the wisdom of my counsels, and the +meeting ended as satisfactorily as could be desired. + +It was while I was living at Burnley that I began again to pray. A young +atheist died, and I was invited to his funeral, and requested to speak +at his grave. When we got to the cemetery the little chapel was occupied +by another company, and we had to wait some time for our turn. My mind +was in a sad and solemn mood, and I left my party and wandered to the +farther end of the cemetery. It was a bright and beautiful day in April. +The grass was springing fresh and green, and the hawthorn buds were +opening, and everything seemed full of life, and big with promise. The +sun was shining in all his glory. The thrushes and the blackbirds were +singing in the surrounding groves and thickets, and the larks were +pouring forth their melody in the air. Yet all was dark and sorrowful +within. I felt the misery of unbelief, yet felt myself unable to free +myself from its horrible and tormenting power. I had a growing +conviction that I was the slave of a vicious method of reasoning, and of +an inveterate habit of unreasonable or excessive doubt, and that I had +not the power to do God and Christianity justice. I felt as if I ought +to pray, but something whispered, "It is irrational." No matter, I could +refrain no longer: and lifting up my tearful eyes to heaven I exclaimed, +"God help me." He did help me. He strengthened my struggling soul from +that hour, and gave to the good within me a growing power over the evil. +I dried my tears and returned to my party. I spoke at the poor young +Atheist's grave, and concluded my address with the following prayer, +"May trust in God, and the hope of a better life, and the love of truth +and virtue, and delight in doing good, remain with all who have them, +and come to all who have them not. Amen." + +The gentleman with whom I had lived at Burnley had said to me on the +morning of that very day, that if I prayed at the funeral he should +never think well of me more. He afterwards said, when he heard of the +prayer I had offered, he had no objection to a prayer like that. He was +not aware of the shorter prayer that I had offered when alone, or he +would have spoken probably in another strain. He was dreadfully opposed +to religion, and very uneasy when he saw me moving in the direction of +Christianity. + +Among the friends who left the church on account of my expulsion, was +Samuel Methley, of Mirfield, near Huddersfield. He was rather eccentric +in some respects; but he was an honest, earnest, kind, and Christian +man. He had had little or no school instruction, and he had nothing that +could be called learning, or high intellectual culture; but he was a man +of great faith, of much love, and much prayer. His affection and +reverence for me were almost unbounded, and so long as I continued a +believer in Christ, he was ready to go with me any lengths in +Evangelical reform. When I ran into politics he was somewhat staggered, +but followed me as far as he durst. When I began to be skeptical he +stood still, afraid, and very unhappy. On one occasion he ventured to +rebuke me; but I knew that the rebuke was the offspring of affection, +and I took it quietly. When I went to America he was greatly distressed, +and prayed for me most anxiously and earnestly. When he found I had +become an unbeliever, he resolved never to go near a meeting of mine +again, and prayed to God to help him to keep his resolution. For many +years he tried to wean himself from me, to extinguish his passionate +regard for me; but whenever he found that I was to lecture in his +neighborhood, he lost his self-control, and came, though with +reluctance, and many misgivings, to my meetings. He generally rose after +my lectures, to protest against my extravagances, and to testify his +uncontrollable affection for me, and his anxious desire for my +salvation. To do otherwise than take his remarks in good part was +impossible. Poor, dear, good man! I little thought at the time how much +distress and pain I was causing him. When he found that I was coming +back to Christ, he was joyful beyond measure. When he heard me preach on +true religion, he was in transports. At a meeting that followed, he +spoke with so much feeling and fervor, that I was obliged to try to +check him a little, for fear the violence of his excitement should +injure his feeble and failing health. My conversion, though but partial +then, gave him the utmost delight. + +At length his feeble frame gave way, and he sank into his bed to rise no +more. He sent me word that he was very desirous to see me, and I visited +him without delay. He was very ill. His voice was almost gone, and he +spoke with great difficulty. He told me he wished me, when he was gone, +to preach his funeral sermon, and write his epitaph, and take charge of +a manuscript containing the story of his life. I told him I would do so. +He then spoke of his trust in God, his love of Christ, and his hopes of +a blessed immortality, while tears of joy stood glistening in his eyes. +He then referred to some matters that had tried him sadly, but added: "I +have cast my care on God." He tried to speak of his feelings towards me, +but said: "Those papers (referring to the story of his life) will tell +you all." At last he said: "Pray with me, Joseph." I had not prayed with +any one for many years, but I said at once: "I will, Sammy;" and I fell +on my knees, and prayed by his side. He then, weak as he was, prayed +earnestly for me, and for my wife and family. + +He died a few weeks after. I preached his funeral sermon on the +following Sunday, in May, 1863, in a field near the house in which he +had lived and died, from the text: "Let me die the death of the +righteous, and let my last end be like his." There was an immense +congregation, consisting of people of all denominations, both infidel +and Christian, from every part of the surrounding district. When +speaking of his conduct in clinging to the religion of Christ, instead +of following me into the regions of doubt and unbelief, I declared my +conviction that he had done right. "He had read little," said I, "and I +had read much: yet he was the wiser man of the two. His good religious +instincts and feelings kept him right, and kept him happy in the warmth +and sunlight of the religion of Christ; while my vain reasonings carried +me astray into the dark and chilling regions of eternal cold and utter +desolation. There is a seeming wisdom that is foolishness; and there is +a childlike, artless simplicity of faith, which, while it is regarded as +foolishness by many, is in truth the perfection of wisdom. There are +things which are hid from the wise and prudent, that are revealed to +babes. And Jesus was right, when, addressing the self-conceited +skeptical critics of His day, He said: 'Except ye be converted and +become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.' My +dear departed friend, when trusting in God as his Father, and in Christ +as his Saviour, and living a godly life, was right, while I, in +distrusting the promptings of my religious instincts and affections, and +committing myself to the reasonings of a cold and heartless logic, was +wrong. The new-born babe, that rests untroubled in its mother's arms, +and, without misgiving, sucks from her breast the milk so wonderfully +provided for it, does the best and wisest thing conceivable. In obeying +its instincts, it obeys the great good Author of its being, and lives. +If--to suppose what is happily an impossibility--if the child should +discard its instincts, and refuse to trust its mother, till it had +logical proof of her trustworthiness; and, distrusting its natural +cravings, should refuse to take the nutriment provided for it, till it +could ascertain by chemical analysis and physiological investigation, +that it was just the kind of food which it required, it would die. My +departed friend was the happy, confiding child, and saved his soul +alive; while I was the analytical and logical doubter, and all but +starved my miserable soul to death. Thank God, I have lived to see my +error. The loving, trusting Christian is right. The religion of Jesus is +substantially true and divine; and, thus far, I declare myself a +Christian." + +It was a beautiful, summer-like day. The sun shone brightly, and the +winds were low, and the vast congregation was orderly and attentive, and +many were much affected. The report that I had declared myself a +Christian, without any qualification annexed, got into the papers, and +ran through the country. To many it gave the greatest satisfaction. +Good, kind Christians came round me wherever I went, testifying their +delight and gratitude. Some wept for joy. Unbelievers were greatly +annoyed at the tidings of my conversion, and some of them came and +entreated me to give the report a public contradiction. This I refused +to do. True, the papers said somewhat more than I had said; but the +statement they gave was true in substance, so I let it pass, and the +growing change for the better in my views and feelings soon made it true +in form. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +PARTIES WHO CONTRIBUTED TOWARDS MY RETURN TO CHRIST. + + +After I fell into doubt and unbelief, the Church, and the ministry +generally, appeared to look on me as irretrievably lost. The great mass +of them made no attempt for my recovery. How much they cared for my soul +I do not know; but for nearly twenty years they left me to wander as a +sheep that had no shepherd. Many of them spoke against me, and wrote +against me, and some of them even met me in public discussion; but they +never approached me in the spirit of gentleness and love, to try to win +me back to Christ, and bring me once more into His Church. Some of them +treated me with grievous injustice. As I have said some pages back, one +minister made himself most odious to me and my friends, and did +something towards increasing our antipathy to the religion which he so +grossly dishonored, by his unjust and hateful doings. It is bad for +Christianity when men like these are put forward as its advocates. No +open enemies can do it so much injury as such unworthy friends. + +There were others, however, who took a more Christian course, and if +they did not succeed in at once reclaiming me from my melancholy +delusions, they produced a happy effect on my mind, which helped to +bring about, in the end, my return to the Christian faith. + +1. There was one man, a minister, who, though he wrote against some of +my views, always treated me with respect. He never gave me offensive +names, nor charged me with unworthy motives, nor treated me with +affected contempt. He regarded me simply as an erring brother, and +strove, with genuine Christian affection, to bring me back to what he +regarded as the truth. He died before my restoration to the Church, but +his labors on my behalf were not in vain. + +2. A kind-hearted layman once sent me a book--"_The Philosophy of the +Plan of Salvation_,"--accompanied with a short, but affectionate letter. +The book did not convert me, but the kindness of the friend that sent it +had a happy effect. Though beyond the reach of logic, I was within the +reach of love. + +3. The _Author_ of "_The Philosophy of the Plan of Salvation_" was Mr. +Walker, a minister of Mansfield, Ohio. While in America I gave a course +of lectures in that town on the Bible. The friend at whose house I was +staying took me to see Mr. Walker, who received me with great kindness, +invited me to dine with him, and conversed with me in a truly Christian +manner. He even came to one of my lectures, in hopes of helping me over +the difficulties which blocked my way to the faith of Christ. I did not, +however, treat him with the kind and considerate tenderness with which +he had treated me. I was under unhappy influences, and I spoke on the +Bible in such a manner as to try him past endurance, and he left me that +night with very painful feelings, regarding me, probably, as lost past +hope. Should he read this work, it may give him satisfaction to know, +that his kindness, and his work on Christ as a revelation of the Eternal +Father, had a part in helping me back to the religion of Christ. + +4. Five years ago last December, Mr. John Mawson, Sheriff of +Newcastle-on-Tyne, was killed on the Town Moor by a terrible explosion +of nitro-glycerine. I had been acquainted with him more than +five-and-twenty years. He joined the church at Newcastle, of which I was +a minister, and remained my friend to the last. He had his doubts on +certain points of theology, but he never lost his faith in the great +principles of Christianity. When I was over from America once, I spent +some time in his company, and we had frequent conversations on religion. +"It seems to me," said he, "that we ought to put some trust in our +_hearts_. My head has often tempted me to doubt; but my heart has always +clung to God and immortality. It does so still; and I believe it is +right. Indeed, I have no doubt of it." I remembered his words. They led +me to study the moral and spiritual instincts of my nature more +thoroughly than I had done before. They led me to study the subject of +instinct and natural affection generally. _My_ instincts, like the +instincts of my friend, had always clung to God and a future life, and +to the principles of religion and virtue, even when reason hesitated and +doubted most. I had never given up my belief in any of the great +doctrines of Christianity without a painful struggle. But I had been led +to think it my duty, when there was a conflict between my head and my +heart, to take part with my head. My heart, for instance, would say, +"Pray;" but reason, or something in the garb of reason, would say, +"Don't. If what you desire is good, God will give it you, whether you +pray for it or not; and if it be evil, He will withhold it, pray as you +may. Prayer may move a man like yourself; but it cannot move God." And I +hearkened to the seeming reason, and gave up prayer. My heart said, +"There is a personal, conscious, all-perfect God." My head, or my +infidel philosophy said, "There cannot be such a God. A God all-powerful +could prevent evil. A God all-good _would_ prevent it. God cannot +therefore be a conscious, personal, all-perfect being. He must be a +blind, unconscious power; the sum total of natural tendencies, working +according to the eternal properties of things, without the possibility +of change; and hence the existence of evil, and the prevalence of +eternal, unalterable law." And here again my head was permitted to +prevail, and my heart, in spite of all its remonstrances, was compelled +to give way. And with a personal, conscious, all-perfect God, went the +richest treasures of the human heart,--trust in a Fatherly Providence; +the hope of a blessed immortality, and faith in the ultimate triumph of +truth and justice, and all assurance of human progress and a good time +coming. + +Yet I was obliged, in spite of the false philosophical principle I had +adopted, to accept the oracles of my heart on many points, and to reject +the logic of my head. My heart said, "Speak the truth; to lie is wrong." +But now that it had got rid of a personal God, logic said, "There can be +nothing wrong in a lie that hurts no one. There is something commendable +in a useful, serviceable lie. To lie to save a person from danger or +destruction is a virtue. The feeling which shrinks from such a lie is a +blind, irrational prejudice, and should be plucked up and cast out of +the soul. Truth may be proper enough in the _strong_: but _deceit_ is +the wisdom of the _weak_." But in this case my heart, my instinctive +love of truth, prevailed. + +Again, my heart pleaded for justice and mercy; for _justice_ to all; and +for _mercy_ to the needy and helpless. But reason, or the heartless and +godless philosophy that usurped its name, said, "Utility is the supreme +law; the only law of man. Justice and mercy are right when they are +useful; but when they are hurtful they are right no longer. If by +destroying the helpless and the needy we can deliver them from their +misery, and increase the happiness of the rest of our race, their +destruction is a virtue, especially if we dispose of them in a quiet and +painless way, so as to spare them the fears and agonies of death!" But +here again my heart prevailed. My natural, unreasoning, instinctive +horror of injustice and murder rendered the specious pleadings of +Atheistic utilitarianism powerless. And so on moral matters generally. + +As a rule, Atheists succeed, in course of time, in vanquishing and +destroying their moral as well as their religious instincts, and then +they embrace the most revolting doctrines, and reconcile themselves to +the most appalling deeds. They look on marriage as irrational, and +regard modesty and chastity as vices. Shame is a weakness in their eyes, +and natural affections are irrational prejudices. Scruples against +lying, theft and murder, when any great good is to be gained by those +practices, are insanity. Gratitude, even to parents, is an absurdity. +Free indulgence, unlimited license, is a virtue. The curse of our race +is religion. The one great social evil is a surplus population; and the +prevention or destruction of children is the sum of social science and +virtue. The extinction of the weaker races, and the destruction of those +of every race who cannot contribute their share of wealth and pleasure +to the common stock, is the perfection of philosophy. In short, all the +old-fashioned principles of virtue, honor, conscience, generosity, +self-restraint, self-sacrifice, and natural affection are exploded, and +in their place there comes a black and hideous chaos of all indecencies +and immoralities, a boundless and bottomless abyss of all imaginable +and unspeakable horrors. I shudder when I think how near I came to this +hell of atheistical philosophy. My inability entirely to extinguish my +better instincts and affections, prevented me from plunging headlong +into its frightful depths. It was more than I could do to carry out the +atheistical principles of mere theoretical reasoning to its last +results. I was, thank God, on some points, always inconsistent, and my +inconsistency was my salvation. My heart preserved me in spite of my +head. + +But if I could not carry out my principle of trusting to mere reasoning +to its full extent, why did I act on it at all? When I found that it led +to utter degradation and ruin, why did I not renounce it, and trust once +more in my native instincts? When I found myself obliged to follow my +heart in so many matters, why not follow it in all? I answer, I had not +a sufficient understanding of the matter. I wanted more light. But the +course of study on which the remarks of my dear good friend Mr. Mawson +led me to enter, led to clearer and correcter views on the subject. It +led to the conviction that instinct and natural affection are divine +inspirations,--that the beliefs and practices to which they constrain us +are the perfection of wisdom and goodness,--that to set them aside is +inevitable ruin,--that whenever reason says one thing, and our religious +and moral affections and instincts say another, we ought to turn a deaf +ear to reason, and follow implicitly the dictates of our moral and +religious faculties. And to this conviction, resulting in a great +measure from the remarks of my faithful and devoted friend, I owe, in +part, my present unspeakable happiness as a believer in Christ. + +5. I encountered two Christian men in public discussion who left a +favorable impression on my mind. One was the Rev. Andrew Loose, of +Winchester, Indiana. The subject of discussion between me and Mr. Loose +was the divine authority of the Bible. He went through the whole debate, +which lasted several days, without uttering one uncharitable, scornful, +or angry word, with the exception of a single phrase in his last speech; +and even that he meekly and generously recalled, after I had satisfied +him of its impropriety. I never forgot the conduct of that dear good +man, and his Christian meekness and forbearance had a good effect on my +heart. + +6. The other gentleman whose conduct left the most favorable impression +of all on my mind, was Colonel Shaw, of Bourtree Park, Ayr, Scotland, of +whose gentlemanly behavior and great Christian kindness I have already +spoken. + +7. There were some other persons who, without assailing me with +argument, did me considerable good. After lecturing at Burnley once, a +person rose to oppose me, and a great disturbance followed. I was thrown +from the platform, and fell backward on the floor, and a crowd of +persons fell upon me, and I had a narrow escape from death by violence +and suffocation. I was rescued however alive. In the tumult my overcoat, +my hat, and my watch disappeared, and my body was somewhat bruised. Next +day a gentleman who had heard of the way in which I had been treated, +came to my lodgings to see me. He seemed very much distressed on my +account, and anxious, if possible, to do something which might minister +comfort to my mind. His name was Philips. He was a Methodist, and the +son of a Methodist preacher. His kindness and sympathy were so genuine +and so earnest, that they made a deep impression on my mind, and they +naturally recur to my memory when I think of the friends whose influence +helped to reclaim me from the miseries of doubt and unbelief. + +8. About thirteen years ago I lectured at Bacup. The Rev. T. Lawson, +Congregational minister of Bacup, attended my lectures, and came and +spoke to me afterwards, and invited me to call and see him, and dine +with him. I went, and we had a lengthened conversation on matters +pertaining to religion and the Church. My host exhibited a remarkable +amount of Christian charity and true liberality of sentiment. He had +been a reader of mine in his earlier days, when I was an advocate of +Evangelical reform, and he spoke of himself as my debtor; and he was +desirous, if possible, of repaying the debt, by smoothing the way for my +return to Christianity. Mrs. Lawson sat and listened to our conversation +in silence; but when I rose to take my leave, she bade me good-bye with +most unmistakable evidences of interest in my welfare, and said, as she +held me by the hand, "I hope we shall meet you in heaven." I had one or +two other interviews with Mr. Lawson at a somewhat later period, and all +are to be placed among the means by which I was brought to my present +happy position. + +9. Some nineteen years ago I had a public discussion with the Rev. +Charles Williams, Baptist minister, of Accrington. It was a very +unpleasant affair. I was much exhausted at the time with over much work, +and with long-continued and painful excitement caused by a very +unpleasant piece of business which I had in hand; and I did what I +honorably could to avoid the discussion. My friends, however, would have +no nay, and I reluctantly, and in anything but an amiable temper, made +my appearance at the time appointed on the platform. How far the blame +was chargeable on me, or how far it was chargeable on others, I do not +know; but the first night's meeting was a very disagreeable one. I +thought myself in the right at the time, but I fancy my unhappy state of +mind must have rendered me very provoking, and at the same time blinded +me to the real character of my proceedings. On the following night the +discussion went on more smoothly, and it ended better than it began. I +was constrained to regard Mr. Williams as an able and good man. I met +him occasionally after my separation from the Secularists, and his +behaviour and spirit deepened the favorable impression of his character +already made on my mind. While I was at Burnley he delivered a lecture +in that town on Bishop Colenso's work on the Pentateuch. I was present. +When he had done, he invited me in the kindest way imaginable to speak. +I had heard next to nothing in the lecture to which I could object, but +much that I could heartily approve and applaud. To all that he had said +in praise of the Bible I could subscribe most heartily. Indeed I felt +that the Bible was worthy of more and higher praise than he had bestowed +on it, and I expressed myself to that effect. The meeting altogether was +a very pleasant one, except to a number of unbelievers, who were +dreadfully vexed at my remarks in commendation of the Bible. I saw Mr. +Williams repeatedly afterwards, and his kind and interesting +conversation, and his very gentlemanly and Christian demeanor, had +always a beneficial effect on my mind. + +10. One of the first to express a conviction that I should become a +Christian was an American lady, whom I sometimes saw in London. She had +herself been an unbeliever, but had been cured of her skepticism by +spiritualism. She was then a Catholic. She gave me a medal of the Virgin +Mary, and entreated me to wear it round my neck. To please her I +promised to do so. But the medal disappeared before long, and what +became of it I never could tell; but my friend had the satisfaction to +see her prophecy fulfilled in my happy return to Christianity. + +11. An acquaintance which I formed with the Rev. W. Newton, of +Newcastle-on-Tyne, must also be reckoned among the things which exerted +an influence on my mind favorable to Christianity. Mr. Newton had been a +Baptist in his earlier days, but getting into perplexity with regard to +certain doctrines, he became a Unitarian. He came to feel however, in +course of time, that something more than Unitarianism was necessary to +the satisfaction of his soul, and to the salvation of the world; and at +the time that I became acquainted with him, he had made up his mind to +leave the Unitarians. On my way to the far-off regions of unbelief, I +had passed through the Unitarian territory; and I passed through the +same territory, or near to its border, on my return to Christianity; and +had it not been for my interviews with Mr. Newton, and a somewhat +startling event or two that occurred about that period, I might have +lingered for a time in that cold and hungry land. Mr. Newton helped to +quicken my steps, and I moved onward, and rested not, till I found my +way back to the paradise, or a garden that very much resembled the +paradise, of my earlier days. + +12. Mr. J. Potts, like Mr. J. Mawson, without following me into the +extremes of doubt, retained his friendship for me through all my +wanderings, and never neglected any opportunity he had of showing me +kindness. And others, whom I cannot take the liberty to name, evinced +the same unfailing constancy of esteem and love. And the unbroken +connexion that remained between my enduring friends and their amiable +families and myself, added to the attractions Christ-ward, and made it +easier for my soul to return at last to its home of peace and rest. + +13. Between thirteen and fourteen years ago, while living in London, I +became acquainted with Mr. W. White. He had been reared a Quaker, but, +like most hard thinkers, had had experience of doubt, and was, in +consequence, after his faith was re-established, able to strengthen his +doubting brethren. He contributed to my conversion, first by his +enlightened conversation, and then by a long, kind, Christian letter on +the Bible, by which he helped me over a number of difficulties which +stood in the way of my faith. + +14. But perhaps none of the parties I have named, had a more powerful +and beneficial effect on my mind than one whom I have not yet mentioned. +If I had been asked thirteen years ago, whether I supposed there was any +minister in the Methodist New Connexion who regarded me with +affectionate solicitude, and who was wishful for an opportunity to speak +to me words of love and tenderness, I should have answered, "No." If any +one had told me that there really was one of my old associates, with +whom I had formerly had warm controversy, not only on matters +theological, but on matters personal, who had been watching my career +for years, with the deepest interest, and who for months and years had +been earnestly praying for me every day, he would have seemed to me as +one amusing himself with fables. Yet such was really the case. + +With no one had I come in closer contact perhaps, or in more frequent +and violent collision, than with the Rev. W. Cooke, now Dr. Cooke. He +had taken the lead in the proceedings against me in the Ashton +Conference, on account of my article on _Toleration, Human Creeds, &c._, +proceedings which had a most unhappy effect on my mind, and which led, +at length, to my separation from the Church, and to my alienation from +Christ. He had taken an active part in the violent controversies which +followed my expulsion from the ministry. We had, at a later period, +spent ten nights in public discussion on the leading doctrines of +Christianity. He had, in the performance of what he considered his duty +I suppose in my case, said things which had tried me terribly; and I, +with ideas of duty differing from his, had made him very liberal +returns, in a way not calculated to leave the most favorable or +comfortable impressions on his mind towards me. I had never seen him +since our long discussion but once, and then he seemed, to my fancy, to +be struggling with an inward tempest of very unhappy feeling towards me, +which he was hardly able to keep from exploding. I afterwards found +though, that I had not interpreted his looks on this occasion correctly. +At the time when I took my leave of the Secularists, my unpleasant +feelings towards my old opponent had about subsided; but I had no idea +that his unpleasant feelings towards me had passed away. Yet such was +the case. He had been reading my periodical for some time, and had been +pleased to find that both on religion and politics, I was returning, +though slowly, to the views of my happier days. Some time in August, +1862, he called at my office in London, with a parcel of books under his +arm. He had been praying for me daily for twelve months, when something +seemed to say to him, "You should do something more than pray." And now +he had come to try what he could do by a personal interview to aid the +wanderer's return to Christ. I was from home at the time, but my eldest +son was in the office, and he and the Doctor were at once engaged in +friendly conversation. "How like you are to what your father was four +and thirty years ago, when I first knew him," said the Doctor. "Your +father and I were great friends. It was your father that first directed +me to the study of Latin and Greek, which have been of great service to +me; and I feel indebted to him on that account. We were afterwards +separated. But I have observed, as I think, symptoms that your father is +returning towards his former views." And many other kind remarks he +made. At length he said, "Do you think your father would accept a copy +of my works?" My son, who knew the state of his father's mind, answered; +"I am sure he would, with great pleasure." The Doctor left copies of his +works, kindly inscribed to me with his own hand; and with the books, he +left for me a kind and Christian letter. My son lost no time in +forwarding me the letter, together with an account of the pleasant and +unlooked-for interview which he had had with the writer. I received the +letter, and the interesting story with which it was accompanied, with +the greatest astonishment and pleasure. I wrote to the Doctor, +reciprocating his expressions of kindness, and making the best returns I +could for the valuable present of his works. The result was a +correspondence, which has continued to the present time. The +correspondence led to interviews, in which the Doctor exhibited, in a +very striking manner, the graces and virtues that adorn the Christian +character. We talked, we read, we sang, we prayed together, and gave God +thanks, with tears of gratitude, for all the blessings of His boundless +love. + +The effect of this kindness on the part of Dr. Cooke was, not only to +free my mind from any remains of hurtful feelings towards him, but to +dispose me, and enable me, to review the claims of Christianity and the +Bible in a spirit of greater fairness and candor, and so to make it +possible for me to become, what I had long believed I never could +become, a hearty believer in the religion of Christ. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +SOME OF THE STEPS BY WHICH I CAME TO FAITH IN CHRIST. + + +I am not certain that I can state the exact process by which I passed +from doubt and unbelief to faith in Christ, but the following, I +believe, is very near the truth. + +1. There was, first, a sense of the cheerlessness of unbelief--the +sadness and the sorrow resulting from the loss of trust in God and hope +of immortality, and from the wretched prospect of a return to utter +nothingness. + +2. Then came the distressing feeling of inability to comfort my +afflicted or dying friends--my utter helplessness in the presence of +sorrow, grief and agony. + +3. And then I found myself unable to account for the wonderful marks of +design appearing in nature, and especially in my own body, without the +acknowledgment of an intelligent Deity. The wonderful perfection and +beauty of a flower or a feather would confound me; while mysterious +adaptations in my own frame would fill me with amazement. Darwin's +theory of development relieved me for a time; but I soon came to see +that some of his explanations of natural phenomena were erroneous, and +that none of his facts proved the truth of his theory. Still later I +found that Darwin himself acknowledged that the evidences of design in +the methods by which certain species of plants were fertilized, were not +only overpowering, but startling. + +4. Then came dissatisfaction with the theories by which unbelievers +sought to account for the existence and order of the universe. They +supposed the universe to be eternal, and attributed the production of +plants, and animals, and man to the blind unconscious working of +lifeless matter. They attributed to dead matter the powers which +believers attributed to a living God. They were obliged to believe that +senseless atoms could produce works transcending the powers of the +mightiest minds on earth. To reconcile their belief in the eternity of +the universe, and in the unchanging properties of matter, with the +phenomena of change and progress, they supposed an infinite succession +of worlds, or of beginnings and endings of the same world, and imagined +the earth running exactly the same course, and having exactly the same +history, every time it came into existence. Hence it became with them an +article of faith, that we had ourselves lived an infinite number of +times, and should live an infinite number of times more in the future, +repeating always exactly the same life, with exactly the same results. +It was also an article of faith that we were mere machines, governed by +powers over which we had no control; that our ideas of liberty, and our +feelings of responsibility, or of good and ill desert, were all +delusions; that all the errors, and crimes, and miseries of our race +were inevitable, and were to be eternally repeated; and that a change +for the better was eternally impossible. But time would fail me to +mention all their theories. It is enough to say that the wild and +unsatisfactory nature of these dreams helped to drive me back to +Christianity. + +5. There was, of course, no tendency in unbelief to promote virtue, or +to check vice. Its natural tendency was to utter depravity. And +Christianity retained such an influence over me, even to the last, that +I could never reconcile myself to a vicious life. + +6. Then came another trouble. Infidelity could give no guarantee that +wrong should not finally triumph, and right be finally crushed. It is +belief in God alone that can give assurance that virtue shall be +ultimately rewarded, and vice ultimately punished. The Christian can +believe past doubt, that "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also +reap;" that "with what judgment we judge, we shall be judged; and with +what measure we mete, it shall be measured to us again." But the infidel +has no foundation for such a faith. For anything he knows, a man may sow +villany, and reap honor and blessedness. He may live by injustice and +cruelty, and meet with no punishment, either here or hereafter; while +another may spend his days in doing good, and give his life for the +salvation of his fellows, and receive only torture, reproach, and death. + +Nor is there any security for the triumph of truth on the infidel +principle. For anything infidelity knows, truth may be always in the +mire, and its friends be forever reproached and shunned; while error may +always be in the ascendant, and its propagators honored and rewarded. +Indeed this is the case at present, if infidelity be true. For +infidelity is in the dust, while faith in God and Christ is in high +repute. And infidels are suspected and dreaded, while consistent +believers are loved and trusted. Faith smoothes man's way through life, +and in some cases raises him to honor and power; while Atheism makes a +man's pathway rugged, and prevents his elevation. This state of things +is exceedingly unsatisfactory to unbelievers. They ought, if they are +the wisest of men, as they suppose, to be everywhere received with +honor. They ought to be placed in power. The world should ring with +their praise. The universe should enrich them with its treasures. The +names of their predecessors in unbelief should be had in the greatest +honor. They should stand first on the roll of fame. Their monuments +should fill the earth. The sweetest poets should sing their praises; +the most eloquent orators should proclaim their greatness; and the +nations should delight to celebrate their worth. Their pictures and +statues should grace our courts, our temples, and our palaces. Their +deeds should form the staple of our pleasant histories, and their +writings crowd the shelves of our libraries. Children should be taught +to lisp their names with reverence, and the aged should bless them with +their parting breath. + +On the other hand, if religion be false and foolish, if it be unnatural +and mischievous, its friends should be pitied or despised, if not +rebuked and punished. Its founders and propagators should be branded as +the weakest or the basest of men. Their names should be had in contempt +or abhorrence. Their writings should be everywhere decried. Their +pictures and statues should fill some chamber of horrors. Historians, +poets, and orators should hold them up to reprobation. Christians should +be kept from places of trust, and from posts of honor. They should be +wretched, and poor, and miserable, and the hearts of men, and the powers +of nature, should combine for their destruction, and for the utter +extinction of their cause. + +Yet the state of things is just the contrary. Christianity triumphs, and +Christians are honored; while infidelity languishes, and its disciples +are covered with shame. On the Atheist's theory the human race has +existed for millions of years, yet it has never produced more than a few +individuals who have acknowledged the principle of his creed. The mass +of men, in all ages, have been believers in God. The civilized as well +as the savage, the learned as well as the ignorant, the high as well as +the low, alike have adored a Deity. Even the greatest of our race have +been believers. The sweetest poets, the profoundest philosophers, the +greatest statesmen, the wisest legislators, the most venerable judges, +the most devoted philanthropists, have all believed in God. Two or three +tribes have been found, it is said, without an idea of God; but they +were savages of the lowest grade; and it is not yet settled whether the +accounts that have been given of those wretched creatures be correct or +not. + +And Atheism has always been regarded with horror. It is so still. It is +believed to be the nurse of vice and crime. Atheists are everywhere +looked upon with suspicion and dread. The prevailing impression is that +they are bad and dangerous men,--that no reliance is to be placed on +their word,--that they are naturally licentious, dishonest, deceitful, +cruel,--that they are prepared for any enormity,--that they are enemies +to domestic purity and civil order, and that no one is safe in their +power. If ever they were regarded by mankind with favor, the time is +forgotten. There is not a nation on earth in which they are popular now. +They are everywhere branded as infamous. + +If Atheists have always been so bad as to _deserve_ this fate, their +principles must be bad. If they have deserved a better fate,--if they +have been pure, and just, and true,--if they have been remarkable for +generosity, patriotism, and philanthropy,--if they have distinguished +themselves as the friends of virtue, and the benefactors of mankind, how +sad to think that they have never received their due at the hands of +men. + +The longer the Atheists look on their condition, the less satisfactory +it appears. They have no grand history, no glorious names, to reflect +honor on their cause. They have no noble army of martyrs. They have no +great monuments. And they can have no assurance of anything better in +days to come. The probability is that their memory will rot, and that +their principles will be an offence and loathing to mankind through all +succeeding generations. + +But look on the other side? The highest name on earth is a religious +name; the name of Jesus. The names which stand next in honor are those +of His Apostles and followers. The mightiest nations on earth are +Christian nations. Christians rule the world. Christian ministers are +honored and revered. Christian churches rise to wealth and power. The +Church controls the state. It controls it most when it is least +ambitious, and most consistent. The Church has a glorious history. It +has the grandest array of honorable names. It has the noblest army of +martyrs. It has the richest literature. Its sacred books are read in all +the leading languages of the earth. The great geniuses are her's. The +richest poetry, the grandest eloquence, the divinest philosophy, the +noblest courage, the richest generosity, the most devoted philanthropy, +are all her's. She has the credit of being the parent and the nurse of +our highest civilization. She is the great educator. She builds our +schools. She rules our colleges. She controls the press. She plants new +nations. She spreads herself and exerts her influence in every land. You +cannot destroy the Church. It is immortal. You cannot limit its power. +It is irresistibly expansive and invincible. If at any time it suffers +loss, it is through its own unfaithfulness; and a return to duty is a +return to dominion. + +Even in countries not Christian the religious element is supreme, and +the religious men alone are honored. The greatest names in the history +of India and China, of Persia and Turkey, are the names of their +prophets and religious leaders. + +What follows from all this? That if infidelity be true and good, and +religion false and mischievous, the world and the human race are wholly +wrong. The best and wisest men are everywhere despised, and the weakest +and wickedest are everywhere honored. The originators of the greatest +delusions are deified; and the revealers of the greatest truths are +regarded as monsters. Truth no longer can be said to be mighty, and +error can no longer be said to be weak. The right is no longer sure of +triumph, nor the wrong of overthrow. Men love darkness and hate the +light; and it is not the few that do so, but the many. And there seems +no hope of a change for the better. Earth is no place for the great, the +good, the wise; but for the ignorant, the deluded, and the base alone. +It is the paradise of fools, and the purgatory of philosophers. + +But I asked, "_Is_ infidelity true and good, and religion false and +mischievous? Am I not laboring under some monster delusion? Have I not +been imposed upon by a vicious logic? Are not mankind right in hating +and dreading infidelity, and in loving and honoring religion? There is a +tremendous mistake somewhere. Either infidelity is wrong, or mankind and +the universe are fearfully perverse." + +7. And now I began a reconsideration of the claims of religion and +infidelity. As I have said, I re-read the Bible. I reviewed Church +history. I examined the character and workings of religious communities. +And I found the Bible a better and a wiser book than I had ever +imagined. And I found Christianity, as presented in the teachings and +life of Jesus, the fairest and loveliest, the most glorious and +beneficent of all systems. I found Jesus Himself to be the most +beautiful and exalted of all characters. I saw in Paul a dignity and a +glory second only to those of Christ. I found in the New Testament the +perfection of wisdom and beneficence. I found in the history of the +Church a record of the grandest movement, and of the most glorious and +beneficent reformation, the world had ever witnessed. I found in the +churches the mightiest agencies and the most manifold operations for the +salvation of mankind. "Christianity," said I, "whether supernatural or +not, is a wondrous power. It is good, if it is not true. It is glorious. +It _deserves_ to be Divine, whether it be so or not. What a world we +should have,--what a heaven on earth--if men could be brought to believe +its teachings, to imbibe its spirit, and to obey its precepts. What a +heaven of bliss it would be to one's soul if one could see it and feel +it to be really true." + +It had conquered my heart. It had won my love. And I would gladly have +died, or would gladly have lived through ages of hardship and toil, to +be satisfied of its divinity. How glad I was when I found men heartily +believing it. How sad when I found them doubting, like myself. How +delighted I was when I found my objections to its truth slowly fading +away, and saw facts in its favor coming gradually into view. + +But doubt had become a powerful tyrant, and I had become a slave; and +though I _wished_ I could be a Christian, I could indulge no hope of +ever experiencing so great a happiness. But I would do Christianity +justice, to the best of my ability. I would exhibit its excellencies. I +would defend it against false accusations. I would preach it so far as I +honestly could. I would practise its precepts so far as I was able. I +would cherish its spirit. "If it is not from God," said I, "it is the +best production of the mind of man. If I cannot hold it forth as a +divine revelation, I can extol it as the perfection of human wisdom. And +some of its teachings are evidently true, and others are easily proved +to be so. It is true throughout, so far as I can test it; and it may be +true--perhaps I shall some day find it to be true--on points on which I +am unable to test it at present. I will wait, and labor meanwhile to +promote its beneficent influence!" + +I looked on the other side. I read the Secularists' Bible: I reviewed +the history of unbelief; I examined the character and working of infidel +communities. And what was the result! The Secularists' Bible I found to +be a huge and revolting mass of filth and loathsomeness; the most +shameless attack on virtue and happiness that ever came under my view. I +remembered that Carlisle and Robert Owen had published books of the same +immoral and dehumanizing tendency. The history of infidelity I found to +be a history of licentiousness, and of every abomination. The infidel +communities I found to be hot-beds of depravity. The leaders of the +party were teachers and examples of deceit, of dishonesty, of +intemperance, of gambling, and of unbounded licentiousness. They had no +virtue; they had no conscience; and it was only when they were in the +presence of men of other views, that they had any shame, or modesty, or +regard for decency. And they were fearfully intolerant and malignant +towards those who crossed them, or thwarted them, in their projects. +They were no great workers, but they would exert themselves to the +utmost to annoy or vilify the objects of their displeasure. The facts +that came to my knowledge with regard to the morals of the Secularists +contributed to my deliverance from the thraldom of unbelief. + +The honor awarded to Christ, and the infamy attached to infidelity, are +no mistakes. Jesus has never been exalted beyond His merits, and +infidelity has never been hated or dreaded beyond its deserts. +Christianity is the sum and perfection of all that is good, and true, +and glorious; and atheism is the sum and aggravation of all that is +vile, and mischievous, and miserable. It would be sad for the world if +men should lose their instinctive dread of infidelity, and begin to +speak of it as an error of little moment. It is a monster +conglomeration of all evil, and it has no redeeming quality. + +8. Among the lectures which I delivered in my transition state was one +in answer to the question; "What do you offer as a substitute for the +Bible? Can you give us anything better?" I said that I had no desire to +_do away_ with the Bible; that I wished them to read it, study it, and +reduce the better part of its precepts to practice. I said: "With those +who would destroy the Bible, or prevent its circulation, I have no +sympathy and no connexion. The Bible is a book of great interest and +value; to say the least, it presents us with the thoughts of the best +and wisest of men, on subjects of the greatest interest and importance; +it gives us the best picture of the life and manners of the nations and +institutions of the ancient world; it is a wonderful revelation of human +nature; it tells the most interesting stories; it contains the grandest +and most beautiful poetry, the wisest proverbs, the most faithful +denunciations of vice and crime, the most earnest exhortations to duty, +the best examples of virtue, the most instructive and touching +narratives of people of distinguished worth, the most rational and +practical definitions of religion, the worthiest representations of God +and the universe, the greatest encouragement to fidelity under reproach +and persecution, the richest consolations under afflictions and trials, +and the most cheering exhibitions of future blessedness. We know of +nothing good in any system which is not favored by some portion of the +Bible. We know of nothing evil which is not condemned by other portions. +All that is best and noblest and grandest in man's nature is there +embodied. We know of no good or generous feeling which is not there +expressed. We cannot imagine it possible for a book to be more earnest +in its exhortations to the performance of duty, or to the culture of +virtue. There is no book on earth that we should be more reluctant to +part with than the Bible. Its destruction would be a fearful loss to +mankind. It is a mine containing treasures of infinite value. The wisest +may learn more wisdom from its teachings, and the best be raised to +higher virtue by its influence. It has done much good; it is doing good +still; it is calculated to do still greater good in days to come. Old as +it is, it is a wiser book than the books of religion that are written +in the present day. It is wiser than the preachers; wiser than the great +divines. It is infinitely superior to the Bibles that have been made in +later times, such as the Bible of the Shakers, the Bible of Reason, and +the Book of Mormon. + +"It is superior to the Koran, though the authors of the Koran, like +later makers of Bibles, had the older Bible to help them. The Koran is +the best of modern Bibles, because it borrows most freely from the Old +and New Testaments. + +"The Bible is vastly better as a moral book, and as a persuasive and +help to duty, than the writings of the best of the ancient Greeks and +Romans. The Bible is consistent with itself as a moral teacher, though +the precepts of Judaism are inferior to those of Christianity. The Bible +treats man as a subject of law, as bound to obey God and do right, from +first to last; and though it begins with fewer and less perfect +precepts, suited to lower states of society, it goes steadily on to +perfection, till it gives us the highest law, and the most perfect +example, in the teachings and life of Christ. Read your Bibles; commit +the better portions of the Book to your memory; think of them, practise +them. Don't be ashamed to do so. The greatest philosophers, not +excepting such men as Newton, Locke, and Boyle; the most celebrated +monarchs, from Alfred to Victoria; the most venerable judges, with Sir +Matthew Hale as their representative; the sweetest poets, from Chaucer, +Spenser, Shakespeare, and Milton, down to Dryden, Young, and Cowper; and +the most devoted philanthropists, from Penn, and Howard, and Wesley, to +Elizabeth Fry and Florence Nightingale, have been lovers and students of +the Bible. The men that hate the Bible and wish for its destruction, are +the base and bad. The men who love it and labor for its world-wide +circulation, are the good and the useful. You cannot have a better +companion than the Bible, if you will use it judiciously. There is no +danger that you should rate it too high. If you should regard it as +supernaturally inspired, it will do you no harm. Such ideas may make you +read it more carefully, and pay more respect to its teachings, and that +will be a blessing. Men are in no danger of prizing good books too +highly. As a rule, they esteem them far too lightly. A great good book +is one of the richest treasures on earth. There is still less danger +that you should think too much of the Bible. The man does not live that +has erred in that direction. The best friends the Bible has, the most +strenuous advocates of its divinity, do not estimate the Book above its +worth. They do not value it according to its worth. It is richer in its +contents, it is better and mightier in its influences, than its +devoutest friends are aware. + +"There are men who prate about Bibliolatry, and labor to lower men's +estimate of the Bible. They may spare their breath. The people who +idolize the Bible too much are creatures of their own imagination only, +and not living men and women. People may love the Bible unwisely, but +not too well. To place it too high as a means of instructing, +regenerating and blessing mankind, is not in man's power. + +"I esteem it myself more highly than I ever did. My ramblings in the +regions of doubt and unbelief; my larger acquaintance with the works of +infidel philosophers, atheistical reformers, fanatical dreamers, +re-organizers of society, makers of new moral worlds, skeptical +historians of civilization, Essays and Reviews, Elements of Social +Science, Phases of Faith, and Phases of no Faith, and a world of other +books; my enlarged acquaintance with men, my sense of spiritual want and +wretchedness when shut out from religious consolations, have led me to +value the Bible, skeptical as I yet am, as I never valued it before. + +"I was born in a town on a hill, from which I had delightful views of a +rich and beautiful valley. I looked on those beautiful prospects spread +out before me, with their charming variety of scenery, from my earliest +days, to the time I left my native land, but I have no recollection that +I ever experienced in those early times any large amount of pleasure +from the sight. In course of time I left the place of my birth and the +home of my childhood, and visited other lands. I saw rivers and lakes, +and mountains and plains, and forests and prairies in great abundance, +and in almost endless variety. And I compared them one with another, and +marked their points of difference and resemblance. And then after my +many and long wanderings, I returned to the place of my birth, and +looked on the scenes of my childhood again; and I was lost in ecstacies. +I was amazed that I had seen so little of their beauty, and been so +little transported with their charms before. + +"And so with regard to the Bible. I was born in a family in which the +Bible was read every day of the year. I heard its lessons from the lips +of a venerable father, and of a most affectionate mother. I read the +book myself. I studied it when I came of age, and treasured up many of +its teachings in my heart. I preached its truths to others. I defended +its teachings against infidel assailants, and was eloquent in its +praise. + +"But a change took place; a strange, unlooked-for change. I was severed +from the Church. I became an unbeliever. I turned away my eyes from the +book, or looked chiefly on such portions of it as seemed to justify my +unbelief. I have been led of late to return to the book, and to study it +with a desire to do it justice; and the result is, I love it, I prize +it, as I never did in my life. I read it at times with unshakable +transports, and I am sorry I should ever have been so insensible to its +infinite excellences." + +Such was my lecture. Those who had come to oppose, seemed puzzled what +to say. One man said I had been brought there to curse the Bible, and +lo! I had blessed it altogether. Another said that what I had uttered +could not be my real sentiments--that my praise of the Bible must be a +trap or a snare. My answer was, They are my real convictions, and the +sentiments that I publish in my weekly paper. Then how comes it that you +are brought here by the Secularists? I answered, My custom is to accept +invitations from any party, but to teach my own sentiments. + +One young man came to me at Bristol, after hearing me deliver this +lecture, and said how glad he was at what I had said. "When my mother +was dying," said he, "she gave me a Bible, and pressed me to read it; +and I did so for a while. But when I became a skeptic, I lost my +interest in the book, and I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't +like to sell it, or destroy it, because it was the gift of my mother; +yet I seemed to have no use for it. I shall read it now with pleasure." + +On the following evening I lectured on _True Religion_. The gentleman +who had come to oppose me said it was the best sermon, or about the +best, he had over heard. He seemed at a loss to know what right I had to +speak so earnestly in favor of all that was good, and appeared inclined +to abuse me for not saying something bad. I took all calmly, and the +meeting ended pleasantly. + +9. And now, instead of trying to shake men's faith in religion, I +labored to strengthen it. I was satisfied that the faith of the +Christian was right in substance, if it was not quite right in form. And +I was satisfied there was something terribly wrong in unbelief, though I +could not yet free myself entirely from its horrible power. + +10. The feeling grew stronger that my remaining doubts were +unreasonable; that my soul was a slave to an evil spell, the result of +long persistence in an evil method of reasoning; yet I lacked the power +to emancipate myself. At length, as I have said, I appealed to Heaven +and cried, "GOD HELP ME!" and my struggling soul was strengthened and +released. + +11. I had looked at the Church when a Christian minister from the +highest ground, and it seemed too low. I had compared it with Christ and +His teachings, and it seemed full of shortcomings. I now looked at it +from low ground, and it seemed high. I compared it with what I had seen +in infidel society, and read in infidel books; and I was filled with +admiration of its order, and of its manifold labors of love. I tried to +imitate the order and beneficent operations of the Church in my Burnley +society, but failed. Faith in Christianity, and the spirit of its +glorious Author, were wanting. The body without the spirit is dead. + +12. I was first convinced that Christianity was necessary to the +happiness of man, and to the regeneration of the world, but had doubts +as to its truth. I now saw that much of it was true. In course of time I +came to be satisfied that the religion of Christ was true as a _whole_; +that it was a revelation from God; that Christ Himself was a revelation +both of what God _is_, and of what man _ought_ to be; that He was God's +image and man's model: that He was God incarnate, God manifest in the +flesh, and the one great Saviour of mankind. My objections to miracles +gave way. They seemed groundless. I saw miracles in nature. They were +wrought on every emergency, even to secure the comfort of the lower +animals. What could be more rational than to expect them to be wrought +in aid of man's illumination and salvation? My moral and religious +feelings got stronger. My skeptical tendencies grew weaker. I continued +to look at Christ. I studied him more and more. My heart waxed warmer; +my love to God and Christ became a mighty flame. I got among the +followers of Christ; I gave free scope, I gave full play, to my better +affections, and heavenward tendencies. I read, I prayed, I wrote, I +lectured, I preached. I gave free utterance to what I believed, and +while doing so, came to believe still more, and to believe with fuller +assurance. I used no violence with myself, except my lower self. I went +no further in my preaching than I had gone in my belief, and I accepted +no doctrines or theories which did not present themselves to my soul as +true and right. But I came at length to see, not the perfection and +divinity of any particular system of theology, but the perfection and +divinity of Christianity, and the substantial perfection and divinity of +the Sacred Scriptures. + +13. I examined the popular objections to Christianity and the Bible. +Some were exceedingly childish; some seemed wicked; some, it was plain, +originated in ignorance; some in error. Paine, Owen, Parker, and certain +students of nature, came to erroneous conclusions with regard to Christ +and the Bible, because they tried them by false standards. Jesus said +nothing on the value of representative and democratic forms of +government, so Paine considered Him ignorant of the conditions of human +happiness. It was Paine however that was ignorant, not Jesus. Jesus was +so wise, that Paine was not able to appreciate His views or do Him +justice. Owen believed that man was the creature of circumstances; that +his character was formed for him, not by him, and that he was not +responsible therefore for his actions. Christ taught a contrary +doctrine. Owen therefore considered Christ to be in error: but the error +was in himself. Parker did not believe in the possibility of miracles: +but the Bible contained accounts of miracles. The Bible therefore must +be pronounced, to a great extent, fabulous. But miracles _are_ possible; +miracles are actual, palpable realities, and Parker's objection falls to +the ground. Many smatterers in science object to the credibility of the +gospel history on the same ground, and are answered in the same way. + +Some objections to the Bible and Christianity originate in +misinterpretations of portions of the Bible. The Scriptures are made +answerable for foolish doctrines which they do not teach. Some +objections seem based on a wilful misconstruction of passages of +Scripture. Many objections owe their force to wrong theories of Divine +inspiration, and to erroneous notions with regard to the design of the +Sacred Scriptures put forth by certain divines. These are obviated by +the rejection of those unwarrantable theories and erroneous ideas, and +the acceptance of better ones. Many get wrong notions about what +constitutes the _perfection_ of the Bible, and look in the Scriptures +for a _kind_ of perfection which is impossible in a book written in +human language, and meant for the instruction and education of imperfect +human beings. There is not a language on earth that is absolutely +perfect, nor is it likely that there ever was, or ever will be, such a +language. An absolutely perfect book therefore in any human language is +an impossibility. But no such thing as an absolutely perfect book is +necessary or desirable, any more than an absolutely perfect body or +soul, or an absolutely perfect church or ministry. There is a kind of +imperfection in God's works which constitutes their perfection. There is +a kind of perfection talked about by metaphysical divines, which would +be the extreme of imperfection. We have reason to be thankful that there +is no such perfection either in Nature or the Bible. Nature and the +Bible would be worthless if there were. But there is a practical +perfection, a perfection of _usefulness_, in both; a perfection of +adaptation to the accomplishment of the highest and most desirable +objects: and that is enough. + +The principal objects for which the Bible was written were, 1. To make +men wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 2. To furnish +God's people unto every good work. 3. To support them under their +trials, and to comfort them under their sorrows, on their way to heaven. +No higher or more desirable ends can be conceived. And it answers these +ends, whenever its teachings are received and obeyed. And this is true, +substantial perfection. This is the reasoning of the Psalmist. "The law +of the Lord is _perfect_," says he, and the proof he gives is this, "_it +converteth the soul_." "The testimony of the Lord is sure, _making wise +the simple_. The statutes of the Lord are right, _rejoicing the heart_. +Moreover by them is Thy servant warned, and in keeping of them there is +great reward." This is all the perfection we need. + +14. Spiritualism had something to do with my conversion. I know the +strong feeling prevailing among many Christians against spiritualism, +but I should feel as if I had not quite done my duty, if I did not, to +the best of my recollection, set down the part it had in the cure of my +unbelief. My friends must therefore bear with me while I give them the +following particulars:-- + +As I travelled to and fro in America, fulfilling my lecturing +engagements, I met with a number of persons who had been converted, by +means of spiritualism, from utter infidelity, to a belief in God and a +future life. Several of those converts told me their experience, and +pressed me to visit some medium myself, in hopes that I might witness +something that would lead to my conversion. I was, at the time, so +exceedingly skeptical, that the wonderful stories which they told me, +only caused me to suspect them of ignorance, insanity, or dishonesty; +and the repetition of such stories, to which I was compelled to listen +in almost every place I visited, had such an unhappy effect on my mind, +that I was strongly tempted to say, "All men are liars." I had so +completely forgotten, or explained away, my own previous experiences, +and I was so far gone in unbelief, that I had no confidence whatever in +anything that was told me about matters spiritual or supernatural. I +might have the fullest confidence imaginable in the witnesses when they +spoke on ordinary subjects, but I could not put the slightest faith in +their testimony when they told me their stories about spiritual matters. +And though fifty or a hundred persons, in fifty or a hundred different +places, without concert with each other, and without any temptation of +interest, told me similar stories, their words had not the least effect +on my mind. The most credible testimony in the world was utterly +powerless, so far as things spiritual were concerned. And when the +parties whose patience I tried by my measureless incredulity, entreated +me to visit some celebrated medium, that I might see and judge for +myself, I paid not the least regard to their entreaties. I was wiser in +my own conceit than all the believers on earth. + +At length, to please a particular friend of mine in Philadelphia, I +visited a medium called Dr. Redman. It was said that the proofs given +through him of the existence and powers of departed spirits were such as +no one could resist. My friend and his family had visited this medium, +and had seen things which to them seemed utterly unaccountable, except +on the supposition that they were the work of disembodied spirits. + +When I entered Dr. Redman's room, he gave me eight small pieces of +paper, about an inch wide and two inches long, and told me to take them +aside, where no one could see me, and write on them the names of such of +my departed friends as I might think fit, and then wrap them up like +pellets and bring them to him. I took the papers, and wrote on seven of +them the names of my father and mother, my eldest and my youngest +brothers, a sister, a sister-in-law, and an aunt, one name on each; and +one I left blank. I retired to a corner of the room to do the writing, +where there was neither glass nor window, and I was so careful not to +give any one a chance of knowing what I wrote, that I wrote with a short +pencil, so that even the motion of the top of my pencil could not be +seen. I was besides entirely alone in that part of the room, with my +face to the dark wall. The bits of paper which the medium had given me +were soft, so that I had no difficulty in rolling them into round +pellets, about the size of small peas. I rolled them up, and could no +more have told which was blank and which was written on, nor which, +among the seven I had written on, contained the name of any one of my +friends, and which the names of the rest, than I can tell at this moment +what is taking place in the remotest orbs of heaven. Having rolled up +the papers as described, I laid them on a round table, about three feet +broad. I laid on the table at the same time a letter, wrapped up, but +not sealed, written to my father, but with no address outside. I also +laid down a few loose leaves of note paper. The medium sat on one side +the table, and I sat on the other, and the pellets of paper and the +letter lay between us. We had not sat over a minute, I think, when there +came very lively raps on the table, and the medium seemed excited. He +seized a pencil, and wrote on the outside of my letter, wrong side up, +and from right to left, so that what he wrote lay right for me to read, +these words: "I CAME IN WITH YOU, BUT YOU NEITHER SAW ME NOR FELT +ME. WILLIAM BARKER." And immediately he seized me by the hand, and +shook hands with me. + +This rather startled me. I felt very strange. For WILLIAM BARKER was the +name of my youngest brother, who had died in Ohio some two or three +years before. I had never named him, I believe, in Philadelphia, and I +have no reason to suppose that any one in the city was aware that I had +ever had such a brother, much less that he was dead. I did not tell the +medium that the name that he had written was the name of a brother of +mine; but I asked, "Is the name of this person among those written in +the paper pellets on the table?" + +The answer was instantly given by three loudish raps, "Yes." + +I asked, "Can he select the paper containing his name?" + +The answer, given as before, was "Yes." + +The medium then took up first one of the paper pellets and then another, +laying them down again, till he came to the fifth, which he handed to +me. I opened it out, and it contained my brother's name. I was startled +again, and felt very strange. I asked, "Will the person whose name is on +this paper answer me some questions?" + +The answer was, "Yes." + +I then took part of my note paper, and with my left hand on edge, and +the top of my short pencil concealed, I wrote, "_Where d----_," +_intending_ to write, "_Where did you die?_" But as soon as I had +written "_Where d----_," the medium reached over my hand and wrote, +upside down, and backwards way, as before,-- + +"_Put down a number of places, and I will tell you._" + +Thus answering my question before I had had time to ask it in writing. + +I then wrote down a list of places, four in all, and pointed to each +separately with my pencil, expecting _raps_ when I touched the right +one; but no raps came. + +The medium then said, "Write down a few more." I then discovered that I +had not, at first, written down the place where my brother died: so I +wrote down two more places, the first of the two being the place where +he died. The list then stood thus:-- + +SALEM, +LEEDS, +RAVENNA, +AKRON, +CUYAHOGA FALLS, +NEW YORK. + +The medium then took his pencil, and moved it between the different +names, till he came to CUYAHOGA FALLS, which he scratched out. +That was the name of the place where he died. + +I then wrote a number of other questions, in no case giving the medium +any chance of knowing by any ordinary means what I wrote, and in every +case he answered the questions in writing as he had done before; and in +every case but one the answers were such as to show, both that the +answerer knew what questions I had asked, and was acquainted with the +matters to which they referred. + +When I had asked some ten or a dozen questions, the medium said, "There +is a female spirit wishes to communicate with you." + +"Is her name among those on the table?" I asked. + +The answer, in three raps, was, "Yes." + +"Can she select the paper containing her name?" I asked. + +The answer again was, "Yes." + +The medium then took up one of the paper pellets, and put it down; then +took up and put down a second; and then took up a third and handed it to +me. + +I was just preparing to undo it, to look for the name, when the medium +reached over as before, and wrote on a leaf of my note paper-- + +"IT IS MY NAME. ELIZABETH BARKER." + +And the moment he had written it, he stretched out his hand, smiling, +and shook hands with me again. Whether it really was so or not, I will +not say, but his smile seemed the smile of my mother, and the expression +of his face was the old expression of my mother's face; and when he +shook hands with me, he drew his hand away in the manner in which my +mother had always drawn away her hand. The tears started into my eyes, +and my flesh seemed to creep on my bones. I felt stranger than ever. I +opened the paper, and it was my mother's name: ELIZABETH BARKER. I asked +a number of questions as before, and received appropriate answers. + +But I had seen enough. I felt no desire to multiply experiments. So I +came away--sober, sad, and thoughtful. + +I had a particular friend in Philadelphia, an old unbeliever, called +Thomas Illman. He was born at Thetford, England, and educated, I was +told, for the ministry in the Established Church. He was remarkably well +informed. I never met with a skeptic who had read more or knew more on +historical or religious subjects, or who was better acquainted with +things in general, except Theodore Parker. He was the leader of the +Philadelphia Freethinkers, and was many years president of the Sunday +Institute of that city. He told me, many months before I paid my visit +to Dr. Redman, that _he_ once paid him a visit, and that he had seen +what was utterly beyond his comprehension,--what seemed quite at +variance with the notion that there was no spiritual world,--and what +compelled him to regard with charity and forbearance the views of +Christians on that subject. At the time he told me of these things, I +had become rather uncharitable towards the Spiritualists, and very +distrustful of their statements, and the consequence was, that his +account of what he had witnessed, and of the effect it had had on his +mind, made but little impression on me. But when I saw things resembling +what my friend had seen, his statements came back to my mind with great +power, and helped to increase my astonishment. But my friend was now +dead, and I had no longer an opportunity of conversing with him about +what we had seen. This Mr. Illman was the gentleman mentioned on a +former page, whom I attended on his bed of death. + +The result of my visit to Dr. Redman was, that I never afterwards felt +the same impatience with Spiritualists, or the same inclination to +pronounce them all foolish or dishonest, that I had felt before. It was +plain, that whether their theory of a spirit world was true or not, they +were excusable in thinking it true. It _looked_ like truth. I did not +myself conclude from what I had seen, that it was true, but I was +satisfied that there was more in this wonderful universe than could be +accounted for on the coarse materialistic principles of Atheism. My +skepticism was not destroyed, but it was shaken and confounded. And now, +when I look back on these things, it seems strange that it was not +entirely swept away. But believing and disbelieving are habits, and they +are subject to the same laws as other habits. You may exercise yourself +in doubting till you become the slave of doubt. And this was what I had +done. I had exercised myself in doubting, till my tendencies to doubt +had become irresistible. My faith, both in God and man, seemed entirely +gone. I had not, so far as I can see, so much as "a grain of mustard +seed" left. So far as religious matters were concerned, I was insane. It +makes me sad to think what a horrible extravagance of doubt had taken +possession of my mind. A thousand thanks to God for my deliverance from +that dreadful thraldom. + +15. I have been asked how I meet my own old objections to the Divine +authority of the Bible. I answer, some of them originated in +misinterpretations of Scripture. Others originated in mistakes with +regard to the character of Christ. Some things which I regarded as +defects in Christ were, in truth, excellencies. Some were based on +mistakes with regard to the truth of certain doctrines, and the value of +certain precepts. I looked on certain doctrines as false, which I now am +satisfied are true; and I regarded certain precepts as bad, which I am +now persuaded are good. Some things which I said about the Bible were +true, but they proved nothing against its substantial perfection and +divinity. Much of what I said in my speech at Salem, Ohio, about the +imperfection of all translations of the Scriptures, the various readings +of Greek and Hebrew manuscripts, the defects of Greek and Hebrew +compilations, and the loss of the original manuscripts, was true; but it +amounted to nothing. It disproved the unguarded statements of certain +rash divines; but it proved nothing against the divine inspiration or +substantial perfection of the Bible as taught in the Bible itself, and +as held by divines of the more enlightened and sober class. That which +is untrue in what I wrote about the Scriptures is no longer an obstacle +to my faith, now that I see it to be untrue. And those remarks which are +true in my writings on the Bible give me no trouble, because my faith in +Bible inspiration is of such a form, that they do not affect it. They +might shake the faith of a man who believes in a kind of inspiration of +the Bible which is unscriptural, and in a kind of perfection of the Book +which is impossible; but they do not affect the faith of a man who keeps +his belief in Bible inspiration and Bible perfection within the bounds +of Scripture and reason. + +And here I may say a few words about the objections I advanced in my +debate with Dr. Berg. + +1. The great mass of those objections prove nothing against the Bible +itself, as the great and divinely appointed means of man's religious +instruction and improvement. They simply show that the theory held by +Dr. Berg about the inspiration and absolute perfection of the book was +erroneous. If Dr. Berg had modified his notions, and brought them within +Scriptural bounds, this class of objections would all have fallen to the +ground. + +2. But some of my statements were untrue and unjust. For instance, in +one case I said, 'The man who forms his ideas of God from the Bible can +hardly fail to have blasphemous ideas of Him.' Now, from the account of +the Creation in Genesis, to the last chapter in Revelation, the one +grand idea presented of God is that He is good, and that His delight is +to do good,--that He is good to all, and that His tender mercies are +over all His works. Whatever may be said of a few passages of dark or +doubtful meaning, the whole drift of the Bible is in accordance with +that wonderful, that unparalleled oracle of the Apostle, 'GOD IS LOVE.' + +3. Another statement that I made was, that the man who studies God in +Nature, without the Bible, is infinitely likelier to get worthier views +of God, than he who gets his ideas of God from the Bible without regard +to Nature. Now the truth is, no man _can_ get his ideas of God from the +Bible without regard to Nature; for the Bible constantly refers to +Nature as a revelation of God, and represents Nature as exhibiting the +grandest displays of God's boundless and eternal goodness. The Bible and +Nature are in harmony on the character of God. The only difference is, +that the revelations of God's love in the Bible, and especially in +Christ, are more striking, more overpowering and transforming than those +of Nature. And lastly, the notions of God entertained by those who have +the light of Nature alone, are not to be compared with the views +entertained by those who form their views of God from the Bible alone, +or from the Bible and Nature conjoined. + +4. One of my strongest objections was based on the 109th Psalm. This +Psalm contains strong expressions of revenge and hatred towards the +enemy of the Psalmist. The answer to this objection is, + +1. That the Psalmist is not set up as our great example, and that his +utterances are not given as the highest manifestation of goodness. + +2. The Psalms are exceedingly instructive and interesting, and must have +been of immense value, both as a means of comfort and improvement, to +those to whom they were first given; but the perfection of divine +revelation was yet to come. The Psalms are of incalculable value still, +but they are not our standard of the highest virtue. John the Baptist +was greater, higher, better than the Psalmist; yet the least of the +followers of Jesus is higher than he. + +3. But thirdly; we must not conclude that the feelings and expressions +of the Psalmist were wicked, merely because they fell short of the +highest Christian virtue. 'Revenge,' says one of our wisest men, 'is a +wild kind of justice;' but it _is_ justice notwithstanding, when called +forth by real and grievous wrong. It is goodness, though not goodness of +the highest kind. It is virtue, though not perfect Christian virtue. And +the revenge of the Psalmist was provoked by wrong of the most grievous +description. Read the account of the matter given in the Psalm itself. +'Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise; for the mouth of the wicked and +the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken +against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words +of hatred; and fought against me without a cause. For my love they are +my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me +evil for good, and hatred for my love.' This was injustice, ingratitude, +cruelty of the most grievous kind. And these wrongs had been continued +till his health and strength wore reduced to the lowest point. 'I am +gone,' says he, 'like the shadow when it declineth. My knees are weak; +my flesh faileth; so that when men look at me, they shake their heads.' + +And a similar cause is assigned for the revengeful expressions in the +69th Psalm. There we find the persecuted Psalmist saying, "They that +hate me, and would destroy me, are my enemies wrongfully, and they are +many and mighty. Then I restored that which I took not away. For _thy +sake_ have I borne reproach: the reproaches of them that reproached thee +are fallen upon me. I was the song of the drunkards. Reproach hath +broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some one +to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but none +appeared." Thus the men that wronged and tormented the Psalmist were +enemies to God and goodness, as well as to himself. + +We know that the virtue of the injured and tormented Psalmist was not +the virtue of the Gospel; but it _was_ virtue. It was the virtue of the +law. And the law was holy, just, and good, so far as it went. If the +resentment of the Psalmist had been cherished against some good or +innocent man, it would have been wicked; as it was, it was righteous. +True, if the Psalmist had lived under the better and brighter +dispensation of Christianity, he would neither have felt the reproaches +heaped on him so keenly, nor moaned under them so piteously, nor +resented them so warmly. He might then have learned + + "To hate the sin with all his heart, + And still the sinner love." + +He might have counted reproach and persecution matters for joy and +gladness. And instead of calling for vengeance on his enemies, he might +have cried, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." But +the Psalmist did _not_ live under the dispensation of the Gospel. He +lived under a system which, good as it was, made nothing perfect. And he +acted in accordance with that system. And the intelligent Christian, and +the enlightened lover of the Bible, will not be ashamed either of the +Psalmist, or of the Book which gives us the instructive and interesting +revelations of his experience. + +5. Another of my objections to the Bible was grounded on the statement, +that God visits the iniquities of the fathers on the children. But it is +a fact, first, that children _do_ suffer through the sins of their +fathers. The children of drunkards, thieves, profligates, all suffer +through the misdoings of their parents. It is also a fact, that men +generally suffer through the misdoings of their fellow-men. We all +suffer through the vices of our neighbors and countrymen. The sins of +idlers, spendthrifts, misers, drunkards, gluttons, bigots, persecutors, +tyrants, thieves, murderers, corrupt politicians, and sinners of every +kind, are in this sense visited on us all. And we derive advantages on +the other hand from the virtues of the good. And it would be a strange +world, if no one could help or hurt another. It is better things are as +they are. The advantages we receive from the good, tend to draw us to +imitate their virtues. The sufferings entailed on us by the bad, tend to +deter us from their vices. + +And so it is with parents and children. Children are specially prone to +imitate their parents. If they never suffered from the evil ways of +their parents, they would be in danger of walking in those ways +themselves for ever. When they suffer keenly from their parents' +misdoings, there is ground to hope that they will themselves do better. +I have known persons who were made teetotalers through the sufferings +brought on them by the drunkenness of their fathers. And on the other +hand; the blessings entailed on children by the virtue of their parents, +tend to draw them to goodness. And I have known fathers, who would +venture on evil deeds when they thought only of the suffering they might +bring on themselves, who have been staggered, and have shrunk from their +contemplated crimes, when they have thought of the ruin they might bring +on their children. And where is the good parent who is not more +powerfully stimulated to virtue and piety by thoughts of the blessings +which he may secure thereby to his offspring? The whole arrangement, by +which our conduct is made to entail good or evil on others, and by which +the conduct of others is made to entail good or evil on us, tends to +engage us all more earnestly in the war with evil, and to make us labor +more zealously for the promotion of knowledge and righteousness among +all mankind. + +6. Another of my objections to the Bible was based on those passages +which represent God as causing men to do bad deeds. Joseph tells his +brethren, that it was not they, but God, who sent him into Egypt. David +says, 'Let Shimei curse; for God hath bidden him.' Of course, the words +of men like Joseph and David are not always the words of God. But Jesus +Himself speaks of Judas as appointed or destined to his deed of +treachery. What can we make of such passages? Does God make men wicked, +or cause them to sin? We answer, No. How is it then? We answer, What God +does is this: when men have made themselves wicked, He turns their +wickedness to good account, by causing it to show itself in some +particular way rather than in some other. God did not make the brethren +of Joseph envious and malicious; but he caused their envy and malice to +induce them to sell their brother into Egypt, rather than to kill him +and throw him into a pit. The wickedness was their own; the particular +turn given to it was of God. God did not make Shimei a base, bad man; +but Shimei having become base and bad, God chose that his villany should +spend itself on David, rather than on some other person. God did not +make Judas a thief and a traitor; but Judas having made himself so, God +so places him, that his avarice, his dishonesty and his treachery shall +minister to the accomplishment of a great beneficent design. God did not +teach the spirits that deceived Ahab to lie; but those spirits having +given themselves to lying, God chose that they should practise their +illusions on Ahab rather than on others. God did not make Pharaoh mean +or tyrannical; but Pharaoh having become so, God chooses to employ his +evil dispositions in bringing about remarkable displays of His power. +God does not make politicians corrupt; but politicians having become +corrupt, God chooses to place them in positions in which they can rob, +and torment, and dishonor us, and so incite us to labor more zealously +for the Christianization of our country. A man becomes a thief, and +says, I will rob John Brown to-night. And he places himself in the way +along which he expects John Brown to pass, and prepares himself for his +deed of plunder. But God does not wish to have John Brown robbed; so He +arranges that David Jones, a man whom he wishes to be relieved of his +money, shall pass that way, and the thief robs _him_. The dishonesty is +the thief's own, but it is God that determines the party on whom it +shall be practised. + +I have a bull-dog that would worry a certain animal, if I would take it +where the animal is feeding. But I choose to bring it in view of another +animal which I wish to be destroyed, and he worries that. I do not make +the bull-dog savage; but I use his savagery for a good purpose, instead +of letting him gratify it for an evil one. This view of things explains +a multitude of difficult passages of Scripture, and enables us to see +wisdom and goodness in many of God's doings, in which we might otherwise +fancy we saw injustice and inconsistency. + +I have not time to answer all my old objections to the Bible, advanced +in the Berg debate, nor have I time to answer any of them at full +length: but I have answered the principal ones; and the answers given +are a fair sample of what might be given to all the objections. + +As for the objections grounded on little contradictions, on matters of +little or no moment, they require no answer. Whether the contradictions +are real or only apparent, and whether they originated with copyists, +translators, or the original human authors of the Books in which they +are found, it is not worth our while to inquire. They do not detract +from the worth of the Bible one particle, nor are they inconsistent with +its claims to a super-human origin. + +And so with regard to the expressions scattered up and down the +Scriptures in reference to natural things, which are supposed to be +inconsistent with the teachings of modern science. They are, in our +view, of no moment whatever. Men writing or speaking under divine +impulse, with a view to the promotion of religion or righteousness, +would be sure, when they alluded to natural things, to speak of them +according to the ideas of their times. Their geography, their astronomy, +and even their historical traditions, would be those of the people among +whom they lived. Their spirit, their aim, would be holy and divine. + +Nor have we any reason to wish it should be otherwise. Nor had our old +theologians ever any right, or Scriptural authority, for saying it was, +or that it ought to be, otherwise. To us it is a pleasure and an +advantage to have a record of the ideas, of the first rude guesses, of +our early ancestors, with regard to the wonders and mysteries of the +universe, and of the events of 'the far backward and abyss of time.' It +comforts us, and it makes us thankful, to see from what small and +blundering beginnings our numberless volumes of science have sprung. And +it comforts us, and makes us thankful, to see how the first faint +streaks of spiritual and moral light, that fell on our race, gradually +increased, till at length the day-spring and the morning dawned, and +then the full bright light of the Sun of Righteousness brought the +effulgence of the Perfect Day. + +And here perhaps may be the place for a few additional remarks on Divine +inspiration. + +We may observe, in the first place, that a man moved to speak by the +Holy Spirit, will, of course, speak for holiness. His aim will be the +promotion of true religiousness, and this will be seen in all he says. +He may not be a good scholar. He may not speak in a superhuman style. +His reasoning may not be in strict accordance with the logic of the +schools. His dialect may be unpolished. He may betray a lack of +acquaintance with modern science. He may not be perfect even in his +knowledge of religion and virtue. But he will show a godly spirit. The +aim and tendency of all he says will be to do good, to promote +righteousness and true holiness. + +And so if a man be moved to _write_ by the Holy Spirit, there will be an +influence favorable to holiness in all he writes. His object will be +good. If he be a scholar, he will unconsciously show his learning; if he +be a man of science, he may show his science. If he be ignorant of +science, his ignorance may show itself. The Spirit of Holiness will +neither remove his ignorance nor conceal it: it will not make him talk +like a learned man or a philosopher; but it will make him talk like a +saint, like a servant of God, and a friend of man. His writings will +breathe the spirit and show the love of holiness, and a tendency to all +goodness. + +And these are just the qualities we see in the Bible. It breathes a holy +spirit. It tends to promote holiness. The writers were not all equally +advanced in holiness; hence there is a difference in their writings. +They were not alike in their mental constitutions or their natural +endowments. They were not equal in learning, or in a knowledge of +nature, or in general culture. They differed almost endlessly. And their +writings differ in like manner. But they all tend to holiness. Some of +the writers were poets, and their writings are poetical. Others were not +poets, and their writings are prose. The poets were not all equal. Some +of them were very good poets, and their writings are full of beauty, +sublimity and power. Others of them were inferior poets, and their +compositions are more coarse, or more formal. Some of the writers were +shepherds or herdsmen, and their writings are rough and homely. Some of +them were princes and nobles, scholars and philosophers, and their +writings are richer and more polished. Some of them were mere clerks +and chroniclers, and their writings are dry and common-place; others +were fervid, powerful geniuses, and their works are full of fire and +originality. Their thoughts startle you. Their words warm you. They are +spirit and life. All the writers show their natural qualities and +tempers. All exhibit the defects of their learning and philosophy. All +write like men,--like men of the age, and of the rank, and of the +profession, and of the country, to which they belong. They write, in +many respects, like other men. The thing that distinguished them is, a +spirit of holiness; a regard, a zeal, for God and righteousness, and for +the instruction and welfare of mankind. In their devotion to God and +goodness they are all alike, though not all equal; but in other respects +they differ almost endlessly. In their devotion to God and goodness, +they are _unlike_ the mass of pagan worldly writers, but not so unlike +them in every other respect. + +The divine inspiration of the sacred writers, or their wondrous zeal for +righteousness, is hardly a matter for dispute. It is a simple, plain, +palpable matter of fact. We see it on almost every page of their +writings. We feel it in almost every sentence. + +Take the account of Creation in Genesis. No one could have written that +document under the influence of an ungodly or unholy spirit. It speaks +throughout with the utmost reverence of God. It represents Him as acting +from the best and noblest feeling. He works, not for His own interest or +honor, but solely for the purpose of diffusing happiness. He not only +does the greatest, the best, the noblest things, but He does them with a +hearty good will. Every now and then He stops to examine His works, and +is delighted to find that everything is good. It is plain He _meant_ +them to be good. He creates countless multitudes of happy beings, and +does it all from impulses of His own generous nature. All living things +are made to be happy, and all nature is made and adapted to minister to +their happiness. And when at length He has completed His works, crowning +all with the creation of man, He looks on all again, and with evident +satisfaction and delight, declares them all very good. + +Read the account of His creation of man. "And God said, Let us make man +in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the +fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and +over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the +earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created +he him, male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God +said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and +subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl +of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And +God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is +upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the +fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every +beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to everything that +creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green +herb for meat: and it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, +and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the +sixth day." There can be no mistake as to the spirit and disposition of +the Great Being whom we see working, and hear speaking, in this passage. +Everything savors of pure and boundless love. + +1. He makes man male and female, that they may have the comfort and +advantages of society, and of love and friendship in their highest, +holiest, and most intimate form. + +2. Then He makes them in His own image, which, whatever else it may +mean, means ungrudging and unbounded goodness on His part. There can be +nothing higher, greater, better, happier than God. To make man in His +own image, and to appoint him, so far as possible, to a like position, +and a like lot with Himself, was the grandest display of goodness +possible. + +3. And He gives the man and woman dominion over every living +thing,--makes them, next to Himself, lords of the universe. And He +blesses them, speaks to them sweet good words; and His blessing maketh +rich and adds no sorrow. He encourages them to be fruitful; to multiply, +and replenish the earth, and to subdue it,--to turn it ever more to +their advantage. He in effect places all things at their disposal; +every green herb, bearing seed, and every tree yielding fruit, is given +to them for food; and they are at the same time given for food to every +beast of the field, and to every fowl of the air, and to everything that +creepeth on the face of the earth. A richer, sweeter story,--a story of +more cheerful, generous liberality,--a picture more creditable or +honorable to God, one cannot imagine. + +And the story is all of a piece. There is not a jar in it from first to +last. Its consistency is complete. Whatever else may be said of the +author of this account, it is certain that he was moved by a Holy +Spirit, that he had the loftiest and worthiest views of God, and that he +loved Him with all his heart and soul. He believed in a good and holy +God, and in a good and holy life. + +I say nothing about the harmony or discord between this account of +Creation, and the facts of Geographical, Astronomical, or Geological +science. I do not trouble myself about such matters. To me it is a +question of no importance or concern whatever. And I have no trouble +about the interpretation of the story. + +It wants no interpretation. It is as plain as the light. And I take it +in its simple, obvious, literal, natural sense. I keep to the +old-fashioned meaning--the meaning generally given to it before the +disputes about Geology and Astronomy seemed to render a new and +unnatural one necessary. The days of the story are natural days, and the +nights are natural nights. The length of each of the six days was the +same as that of the Sabbath day. The seven days made an ordinary week. +The first verse does not refer to a Creation previous to the week in +which man was made. It is a statement of the work of Creation in +general, of which the verses following give the particulars. All the +work that is spoken of was believed by the writer to have been begun and +ended in six ordinary natural days. + +As to whether the story be literally or scientifically correct or not, I +do not care to inquire. I am satisfied that it is the result of divine +inspiration--that he who wrote it or spoke it was moved by the Holy +Spirit. The Spirit of truth, of love, of purity, of holiness pervades it +from beginning to end. It does justice to God; it bears benignly on +man; it favors all goodness. I see, I feel the blessed Spirit in every +line, and I want no more. + +We are told that there are _two_ accounts of Creation, and that on some +points they differ from each other. For anything I know this may be the +case. But one thing is certain, they do not differ in the views they +give of God or of His objects. They both represent Him as a being not +only of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but of pure, unsullied, +boundless generosity. In truth, the only impulse to Creation that +presents itself is, the natural, spontaneous goodness of the Creator. +And on some points the manifestations of God's love and purity, of His +righteousness and holiness, are more full and striking in the second +account than in the first. God's desire for the social happiness of man +comes out more fully. Man, according to this second account, is made +previous to woman, and permitted for a time to experience the sense of +comparative loneliness. He is left to look through the orders of +inferior creatures, in search of a mate, and permitted to feel, for a +moment, the sense of disappointment. At length he is cast into a deep +and quiet sleep, and when he awakes, his mate, his counterpart, an exact +answer to his wants, his cravings, perfect in her loveliness, stands +before his eyes, and fills his soul with love and ecstacy. Marriage is +instituted in its purest and highest form. The law of marriage is +proclaimed, which is just, and good, and holy in the highest degree. +Provision is made for the comfort and welfare of the new-created pair. +Their home is a paradise, or garden of delights; their task is to dress +it and to keep it. Their life is love. The _general_ law under which +they are placed is made known to them, and they are graciously warned +against transgression. The law is the perfection of wisdom and +generosity. It allows them an all but unlimited liberty of indulgence. +They may eat of the fruit of every tree in the garden but one. +Indulgence must have its limits somewhere, or there could be no virtue, +and without virtue there could be no true happiness. + +Law, trial, and temptation are all essential to virtue and +righteousness. Here they are all supplied; supplied so far as we can +see, in their best and most considerate forms. No law is given to the +lower animals. No self-denial is required of them. They are incapable +of virtue or righteousness, and are therefore left lawless. A _child_ +left to himself would bring his mother to shame; a man left to himself +would rush headlong to destruction. But birds and beasts do best when +left to themselves, or when left to the law in their own natures. Their +instincts, or God's own impulses, urge them ever in the right direction, +and secure to them the kind and amount of happiness they are capable of +enjoying. They are incapable of virtue, so they are made incapable of +vice. They cannot share the highest pleasures; they shall not be exposed +therefore to the bitterest pains. Man is capable of both virtue and +vice, and he must either rise to the one or sink to the other. He cannot +stay midway with the lower animals. Man must be happy or miserable in a +way of his own; he cannot have the portion of the brute. He must either +be the happiest or the most miserable creature on earth. He must either +dwell in a paradise, or writhe in a purgatory. He must either live in +happy fellowship with God, or languish and die beneath his frown. And in +the nature of things, the possibility of one implies liability to the +other. This is man's greatness, and bliss, and glory, that he is capable +of righteousness; capable of fellowship, unity, with God; and capable of +progress, improvement, without limits, of life without end, and of +happiness without bounds. + +All this, which is the perfection of true philosophy, the sum of all +true wisdom and knowledge, is presented in the most striking, +astounding, and intelligible form in this second, or supplementary +account of creation. Duty is defined in the clearest manner. It is +enjoined in the plainest terms. The results of transgression are +foretold with all fidelity. The great principle is revealed that +righteousness is life and happiness, and that sin is misery and death. +And man is left to his choice. + +Here we have the substance, the elements, of all knowledge, of all law, +of all duty, of all retribution. We have the principles of the divine +government. We have the substance of all history. We have in substance, +the lessons, the warnings, the counsels, the encouragements, the +prophecies and revelations of all times and of all worlds. The tendency +of the whole story is to make us feel that righteousness is the one +great, unchanging and eternal good; and that sin, unchecked indulgence, +is the one great, eternal, and unchanging curse. The spirit of the +story, its drift, its aim, is _holiness_ from first to last. The writer +is moved throughout by the Holy Spirit--the Spirit of truth and +righteousness--the Spirit of God. We see it, we feel it, in every part. +We want no proof of the fact in the shape of miracle; the proof is in +the story itself. It is not a matter of dispute; it is a matter of plain +unquestionable fact. And that the story is essentially, morally, and +eternally true, is proved by all the events of history, by all the facts +of consciousness, and by the laws and constitution of universal nature. + +And in the history of man's first sin as here given, and in the account +of its effects, and in the conduct of God to the sinning pair, I find, +not the monster fictions of an immoral and blasphemous theology, but the +most important elements of moral, religious, and physical science. And +instead of feeling tempted to ridicule the document, I am constrained to +gaze on it with the highest admiration and the profoundest reverence for +its amazing wisdom. + +As to whether the account of the creation of the man and the woman, and +the story of the forbidden fruit, and of the serpent, and of the tree of +life, are to be taken literally or allegorically, I have no concern at +present. My sole concern with it is that of a Christian teacher and +moralist. The only question with me is: 'Is it divinely inspired? Does +the writer speak as a man moved by the Holy Spirit? Is it the tendency +of the story to make men lawless, recklessly self-indulgent, regardless +of God and duty; or is it the tendency of the story to make men fear God +and work righteousness?' And that is a question answered by the story +itself. On other matters the author writes as a man of his age and +country; on this, the only matter of importance, he writes as a man +moved by the Spirit of God. + +And what I say of the accounts of Creation, I say of the history of Cain +and Abel, of Enoch and Job, of Noah and the Flood, of Abraham and Lot, +of Moses and his laws, and of the Hebrews and their history, of the +Psalms and Proverbs, of the Prophets and Apostles. All have one aim and +tendency; all make for righteousness. The writers are all moved by one +Spirit--the Spirit of holiness. + +With the exception of the Book called Solomon's Song, and some other +unimportant portions of the Bible, the Scriptures all bear +unquestionable marks, are full from Genesis to Revelations, of proofs +indubitable, that they are the products of divine inspiration; that +their authors wrote as they were moved by the Holy Spirit. Whatever +their rank or profession, whatever their position or education, whatever +their age or country, whatever their particular views on matters of +learning or science, the sacred writers all speak as men under holy, +heavenly influences, and their writings, however they may differ in +style, or size, or other respects, are all, "profitable for doctrine, +for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the +man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works." + +16. I have been asked why I do not publish a refutation of my former +reasonings one by one, and a full explanation and defence of my present +views. I answer, my only reason for not doing this, so far as it is +really desirable, is a want of time. I did something in this line in my +_Review_. I have done a little more in my lectures on the Bible and on +Faith and Science, and I hope, in time, to do more. + +17. I have been asked again, why I shun discussion on the subject. I +answer, I have never done so. When those who invite me to lecture wish +me to allow discussion, I comply with their wishes. I agreed to a public +discussion at Northampton; but the person who was to have met me drew +back. Again, if any one really wishes to discuss with me, he can do so +through the press. I published my views in my _Review_ thirteen or +fourteen years ago. I have published many of them since in a number of +pamphlets, giving all as good an opportunity of discussing them as they +can wish. And there is not the same necessity for a man who has +published his views through the press, to invite discussion on the +platform, as there is for a man who has _not_ given his views through +the press. + +The following letter, written to a friend in Newcastle-on-Tyne, may +explain my views on this point a little more fully:-- + +MY DEAR SIR,--In answer to your question whether I will meet +the Representative of Secularism in debate, I would say, that I had +rather, for several reasons, spend what remains of my life and strength +in peaceful labors as a preacher, a lecturer, and an author. I seem to +have done enough in the way of public discussion. And I have not the +amount of physical or nervous energy, or the strength of voice and +lungs, which I once had. I am suffering, not only from the effects of +age, but from a terrible shock received in a collision on the railway, +causing serious paralysis of my right side, and greatly reducing the +force and action of my heart and brain. + +Then I am not the representative of the Church, or of any section of it. +I can only stand forth as the advocate of my own views. Further; there +are many questions connected with the Bible, which appear to me more +fitted for quiet thought and friendly discussion among scholars and +critics, than for debate in a popular audience. On many of those points +Christian divines differ among themselves. They differ, for instance, to +some extent, in their views of Bible inspiration and the sacred canon; +they differ as to the worth of manuscripts, texts, and versions, the +validity of various readings, the origin and significance of +discrepancies in some of the historical and chronological portions of +the Bible, &c., &c. On none of these points do I consider myself called +upon to state or advocate any particular views. + +There are however points of a broader and more important character, on +which a public popular discussion might be proper and useful; such as +the general drift and scope of the Bible, or its aim and tendency; the +character and tendency of Christianity as presented in the life and +teachings of its Author, and in the writings of the Apostles; the +comparative merits of Christianity, and of Atheistic Secularism as set +forth in the writings of Secularists. + +I understand the leaders of the Secularists to teach, that Christianity +is exceedingly mischievous in its tendency,--that it is adverse to +civilization, and to the temporal interests of mankind generally,--that +the Bible is the curse of Europe, &c. These are subjects on which a +popular audience may be as well qualified to judge, as scholars and +critics. And if you particularly desire it, I will authorize you to +arrange for a discussion on them between me and such representative of +Secularism as you may think fit. I should not however like the +discussion to occupy more than three nights in any one week. And I +should wish effectual precautions to be taken to secure a peaceful and +orderly debate. It will be necessary also to have the subjects to be +discussed plainly and definitely stated. + +Yours, most respectfully, +JOSEPH BARKER. + +18. I may now add, that the evidences which had most to do in convincing +me of the truth and divinity of Christianity, were the internal ones. I +was influenced more by moral and spiritual, than by historical and +critical considerations. I do not think lightly of Paley's works on the +Evidences, or of Miall's _Bases of Belief_, or of Dr. Hopkins', or Dr. +Channing's, or Dr. Priestley's _Evidences of Christianity_; but the +Bible, and especially the story of Christ, was the principal instrument +of my conversion. I believed first with my heart rather than my head. +True, my head soon justified the belief of my heart: but my heart was +first in the business. I believe in miracles; I think them of great +importance. I believe especially in the miracles of Christ. But that +which melted my heart; that which won my infinite admiration; that which +filled me with unspeakable love and gratitude; that which made me a +Christian and a Christian believer, was Christ himself. Even His +miracles moved me more as expressions of His love, than as proofs of His +power. The great thing that overpowered me was the infinite excellency +of Christ, and the wonderful adaptation of Christianity to the spiritual +and moral, the social and physical, wants of mankind, Christ Himself is +His own best advocate. His life and character are His strongest claims +on our love and loyalty. And His religion, like the sun, is its own best +evidence of its divinity. The infinite worth of the sun--the astonishing +and infinitely varied adaptation of his light and warmth to the wants of +every living thing--his wonderful and beneficent effects on plants and +trees, on animals and man, are the strongest proofs of His Divine +original. And so with Christianity, the Sun of the moral and spiritual +world. It proves its heavenly origin by its amazing adaptation to man's +nature, and by its almighty tendency to promote his improvement and +perfection; by the light, the life, the blessedness it gives; by the +love it kindles; by the glorious transformations which it effects in +depraved individuals and degenerate communities; by the peace, the hope, +the joy it inspires; and by the courage and strength it imparts both in +life and in death. + +19. The form in which Christianity presented itself to me, and the way +in which it operated on my soul, may be seen from the articles I wrote +on "Christ and His teachings," about the time of my conversion. They +refer to the doctrine of Christ with regard to a Fatherly God, and His +loving care of His creatures. The first thing that struck me in this +doctrine was its beauty and tenderness. It is just the kind of doctrine +which the hearts of the best of men would wish to be true. It answers to +the weaknesses and the wants of our nature; to the longings and +aspirations of our souls. It is full of consolation. It makes the +universe complete. It makes man's life worth living. It makes the +greatness, the vastness, the infinitude of our intellectual and +affectional nature a blessing. It gives peace--the peace that passes +understanding. It gives joy,--the joy that is unspeakable and full of +glory. It opens our lips in the sight of sorrow, and enables us to give +the sufferer consolation. It gives the universe a head. It gives it +unity. It gives to man a Ruler. It gives to law a commanding force. It +gives to conscience a controlling power. It makes virtue duty, while it +gives to it fresh grandeur and beauty. It exalts it in our eyes; and it +endears it to our hearts. And it furnishes the all-perfect example. And +it makes reasonable the inculcation of humility and charity, of +forbearance and forgiveness. And it dignifies the work of beneficence. +It makes us the allies and fellow-workers of the infinite. It makes us +one with Him. In teaching the ignorant, in bringing back the erring, in +strengthening the weak, in reforming the vicious, in cheering the sad, +in blessing the world, we are working as children in fellowship with +their infinite Father, and the pulses of our generous nature beat in +harmony with the living, loving, all-pervading Spirit of the universe. + +And while it brightens the present, it gilds the future. It makes a +blessed immortality a natural certainty. If God our Father lives, then +we His children shall live also. Death is abolished. Day dawns at last +on the night of the grave. Earth is our birth-place and our nursery; +death is the gate-way to infinity, and there is our glorious and eternal +home. Our work for ever is the joyous work of doing good. Our future +life is an eternal unfolding, and a delightful exercise, of our highest +powers. The mysteries of universal nature open to our view, and in the +confluence of the delights of knowledge and the transports of +benevolence, our joy is full; our bliss complete. + +This doctrine, in the form in which Jesus presents it, has hold of the +hearts of nearly the whole population of Christendom. It has the +strongest hold on the best. Even those who doubt it, doubt it with a +sigh; and those who give it up, surrender it with regret. And as they +make the sacrifice the earth grows dark. And life grows sad. And nature +wears the air of desolation. The music of the woods becomes less sweet. +The beauty of the flowers becomes less charming. There creeps a dreary +silence over land and sea. Existence loses more than half its charms. +The light of life burns dim. The past, the present, and the future all +are cheerless. The world is one vast orphan-house. Mankind are +fatherless. Our dearest ones are desolate. And language has no word to +comfort them. The lover sighs. The husband and the father weeps. The +bravest stand aghast. The charm of life, the unmixed bliss of being, is +no more. + +But the question of questions is, Is the doctrine true? The _heart_ says +it is, and even the intellect acknowledges that there are ten thousand +appearances in nature which cannot be accounted for on any other +principle. We cannot at present dwell on the subject; but the doctrine +of Jesus with regard to God and immortality is the grandest and most +consoling, and is the most adapted to strengthen the soul to duty, and +to cheer and support it under suffering, that the mind of man can +conceive. + +And then as to Jesus Himself, the love and the reverence with which He +is honored by so large a portion of the foremost nations of the earth, +are no mistake,--no accident. They are the natural result of His worth +and excellency. They are the natural response of the generous heart of +humanity, to its wisest Teacher, its loftiest Example, and its greatest +Benefactor. The devoutest love, the liveliest gratitude, the richest +honors, the costliest offerings are his,--He deserves them all. And His +name shall remain, and His fame shall spread, as long as the sun and +moon endure. + +All nations love and adore the good. Men will even die for them. What +wonder then that Jesus should be so loved? What wonder that so many +tongues should praise Him, so many hearts adore Him, and so many nations +bow before Him, and accept Him as their Lord? For He devoted Himself to +the service, not of a class or a nation, but of the world. The sick, the +poor, the ignorant, the fallen; the little innocent children, the +wronged and outcast woman, the hated Samaritan, the despised Pagan, the +obnoxious publican, the youthful prodigal, the dying penitent, the cruel +persecutor, all shared His love, His pity, and His prayers. He lived, He +taught, He died for all. + +20. The first Christians that invited me to preach were the Methodist +Reformers of Wolverhampton. The next were the Primitive Methodists of +Tunstall and Bilston. The Primitive Methodists at Tunstall invited me to +join their community, and as soon as I consistently could, I did so. I +was afterwards accepted as a local preacher. My labors as a preacher and +lecturer have been mostly in connection with that community. I was +specially struck with the zeal, the labors, and the usefulness of the +Primitive Methodists while on my way from the wilds of error; and my +intercourse with its ministers and members since I became a Christian, +has proved to me an unspeakable comfort and blessing. I have received +from them the greatest kindness: and I pray God that I may prove a +comfort and a blessing to them in return. + +21. I had great sacrifices to make when I renounced my connection with +the unbelievers and became a Christian, and for some time I and my +family had experience of severe trials. We had to give up our old +business, and it seemed impossible to obtain a new one, and for a time +we were threatened with the bitterness of want. We were unwilling to +ask a favor of any Christian party, lest our motives for embracing +Christianity should be suspected; and at times I felt perplexed and sad. +One day my eldest son, seeing I was depressed, said, "Father, dear, +don't be troubled. We must trust in God now. I _do_ trust in Him; and I +am so happy to think that we are all Christians, that I can bear +anything." God bless his dear good soul. We did trust in God, and He +sustained us. He supplied our wants. He overruled all things for our +good. And we can now say, "The lines have fallen to us in pleasant +places; we have a goodly heritage." + +22. I have met with some unpleasantnesses since my return to Christ; but +I am not sure that they are worth naming; and for the present they shall +remain unnamed. I have met with many things of a very pleasant +character. Thousands that followed me into doubt have come back with me +to Christianity. Thousands that were sinking, were saved by my +conversion. I believe I may say thousands of unbelievers that were not +led into doubt by me, have been redeemed from their wretchedness through +my example and labors. Some young ministers have been kept from rash and +ruinous steps by the story of my experience. Many believers have been +strengthened in their faith and encouraged in their Christian labors +under my sermons and lectures. Many have been benefited by my +publications. My family has been greatly comforted and blessed. The +power of the infidel class has been diminished. I have myself enjoyed a +kind and a degree of happiness that I never enjoyed while the slave of +doubt and unbelief. And it is a great consolation to think that I was +brought to God while in my health and strength, and that I have now been +permitted to spend from eleven to twelve years in the work of Christ. +Another great comfort is, that my circumstances are such as to enable me +to give some proof of my devotion to the cause of Christ; of my infinite +preference of the religion of Christ, both to the miserable philosophy +of unbelief, and to the wretched fictions of ignorant or anti-Christian +divines. + +23. I read quite a multitude of books on my way back to Christ, and if I +had time, I would give some account of the influence which some of them +made on my mind. But I have not. It may seem strange, but I had sunk +below the level of ancient Paganism, and the books which I read on my +first awaking to a consciousness that I was wrong, were Pagan works. I +read much in Plato and Aristotle, Cicero and Seneca, for a time, and +then in Plutarch, M. A. Antonine, and Epictetus. The works of Epictetus, +with the comments of Simplicius, proved exceedingly profitable. I then +read the writings of Theodore Parker, Dr. Channing, and some of the +works of Dr. Priestley, and got good from all. They all helped to +inspire me with a horror of Atheism, and to strengthen my faith in God, +and in His boundless and eternal love. I next read a number of my own +works, beginning with those that were somewhat skeptical, and reading +backwards, to those which were Christian. I then read freely my old +companions and favorites, including Hooker, Baxter, and Howe; Jeremy +Taylor, William Law, and Bishop Butler. I read Shakespeare freely, and +Pope, and then Thomson, and Goldsmith, and Young, and Cowper, and +Tennyson, and several others of our poets. Then came the works of +Carlyle, Burke, Penn, and Wesley; of Robert Hall, and Dr. Cooke, and Mr. +Newton; and the writings of Paley and Grotius. I also read Guizot's +_History of Civilization_, and those portions of Dr. Henry's _History of +England_ that referred to the Church and Christianity. Still later I +read Augustine's _Confessions_, Montalembert's _Monks of the West_, and +everything I could find to illustrate the history of Christianity. + +I was delighted, transported, with many of Wesley's hymns. I found in +them an amount of truth, and beauty, and richness of good feeling, I had +never found in them before. I read many of the hymns of Watts with great +pleasure, as well as several collections of hymns and poetry by Roundell +Palmer and others. I also read the writings of Chalmers, Whewell, and +Lord Brougham on natural theology, and the works of several other +authors on that subject. + +At a later period I read something in Neander, Lange, and others on the +life of Christ. Still later I read Young's _Christ of History_, with +Renan and _Ecce Homo_. Renan tried me very much. He seemed to write in +the scoffing spirit of Voltaire, and I laid the book aside before I got +to the end. _Ecce Homo_ delighted me exceedingly. I read it a dozen +times. I studied it, and it did me a great deal of good. It both +strengthened my faith in Christ, and increased my love to Him. Still +later I read _Ecce Deus_ with pleasure and profit. + +The book however that did me most good was the Bible. I came to it +continually, as to an overflowing fountain, and drank of its waters with +ever-increasing delight. + +24. I began to preach before I was fit; but I never might have been fit, +if I had not begun. I became fit by working while unfit. And my +imperfect labors proved a blessing to many. + +25. There was much prejudice against me at first; but not more than I +had reason to expect; and it gradually gave place to confidence and kind +feeling. Some said I ought to remain silent a few years; but as I did +not know what a few years or even a few days might bring forth, I +thought it best to speak at once. I had spoken freely enough on the +wrong side, and I saw no reason why I should not speak as freely and at +once on the right side. Nor do I regret the course I took. It was the +best. Some that thought otherwise at first, think as I do now. For +instance, when Mr. Everett first heard that some of his friends had +invited me to preach for them, he was very angry, and said I ought never +to speak or show my face again in public as long as I lived. In less +than four years he came to hear me, was much affected, shook me by the +hand, thanked me, invited me to his house, showed me his library, and +his museum of Methodist antiquities and curiosities, offered me a home +in his house, and was as kind to me as a father. + +I never quarrelled with people for regarding me with distrust or fear, +though I often checked my over-zealous friends, who were disposed to +quarrel with all who did not regard me with the same amount of love and +confidence as themselves. + +I have never defended myself against slanderers, either by word or +writing, except when justice to my friends has seemed to require it. + +I have never complained of any disadvantages under which I have labored. +It is right that a man who has erred as I have, should have something +unpleasant in his lot to remind him of his error, and render him more +careful and prayerful for the time to come: and there is to me a +pleasure in doing penance for my faults. + +26. I have never thrown the whole blame of my errors on others, nor have +I ever seen reason to take the whole to myself. God alone is able to +distribute praise and blame, rewards and punishments, according to men's +deserts, and to Him I leave the task. At first I was disposed to be very +severe towards myself: but two years' experience in the religious body +that I first joined, of a kind of treatment resembling that of my early +days, satisfied me that I ought to judge myself a little more leniently. +I would not however be unduly severe towards others. I cannot tell, when +a man does me wrong, how far he may be under the influence of +unavoidable error, and how far he may be under the influence of a wicked +will. I may be able to measure the injustice of the act, but not the +wickedness of the actor. God alone can do that. A man's treatment of me +may satisfy me that I ought not to place myself in his power; but cannot +justify me in saying of him that he deserves the damnation of hell. The +rule with regard to men's deserts is, "Judge not, that ye be not +judged." + +27. But when I have made the most liberal allowance for myself, and even +while I feel satisfied that in my investigations my object was the +discovery of truth, and that my errors were wholly unintentional, I must +still feel ashamed and mortified at the thought that I was so weak as to +be capable of such grievous errors. Even when I take into account the +imperfection of my education, and the disadvantages of my situation, and +all the temptations by which I was assailed, I am still ashamed and +humbled, and feel that my place is in the dust. But if, while prostrate, +God says to me, "Arise!" shall I resist the call? If in the exercise of +His love He restores to me the joys of His salvation, and bids me speak +and labor in His cause, shall I not thankfully obey the heavenly voice? +Shall I carry my humility to the extreme of disobedience? Shall I not +rather arise, and, with a cheerful and joyous heart, do my Saviour what +service I can? I will not presume to usurp the prerogative of God, even +to judge and punish myself. I will leave myself to Him, the merciful and +all-knowing, and He shall do with me what He sees best. I will not +reject His mercy. I will not resist His will. Let Him do what seemeth to +Him good, whether it be in the way of tenderness or of severity. It has +pleased Him, thus far, to mingle much compassion with His chastisements, +and His goodness calls for gratitude and joy. + +28. And as I act towards God, I will act towards His people. If they +frown on me, I will take it patiently; but if they welcome me with +demonstrations of affection, I will rejoice. If they close their pulpits +against me, I will say, "Your will be done." If they open them to me, I +will enter, and, to the best of my ability, declare the counsel of God. +A portion of God's people,--a large and most worthy portion--have +received me graciously; and my duty is, and my endeavor, I trust, will +be, to reciprocate their love and confidence. I say with the poet:-- + + "People of the living God, + I have sought the world around, + Paths of doubt and sorrow trod, + Peace and comfort nowhere found; + Now to you my spirit turns, + Turns, a fugitive unblest; + Brethren, where your altar burns + O receive me to your rest. + + "Lonely I no longer roam, + Like the cloud, the wind, the wave; + Where you dwell shall be my home, + Where you die shall be my grave; + Mine the God whom you adore, + Your Redeemer shall be mine; + Earth can fill my heart no more, + All my joys shall be divine." + +29. It seems strange that I should have been permitted to wander into +doubt and unbelief, and live so long under its darkness and horrors. +There is a mystery about it that I cannot understand. But what I know +not now, I may know hereafter. The mystery of Job's trial was explained +when his afflictions were at an end. The mystery of my strange trial is +still wrapt up in darkness. True, my strange experience has not been an +unmixed calamity. It has brought me advantages which I could not +otherwise have enjoyed. I know things which I never could have known, if +I had always remained within the enclosures of the Church, and under the +influence of Christianity. And my heart is more subdued to the will of +God. I am more at one with Him than I ever was before. I love Him more. +I love Jesus more. I love His religion more. I have a clearer view and a +fuller knowledge of its infinite worth. I have, of course, a fuller +knowledge of the horrors of infidelity. And my faith in God and +Christianity rests on a firmer foundation than it did in my early days. +Many things which I once only _believed_, I now _know_. Many things for +which I had formerly only the testimony of others, I now know to be true +by my own experience. There are quite a multitude of things on which I +have greater certainty, and on which I can, in consequence, speak with +more authority than in my early days. There are, too, cases of doubt +which I can meet, which formerly I could not have met. I can make more +allowances too, than formerly, for those who are troubled with doubt, or +ensnared by error. And my preaching, in some cases, is more powerful. +And I am more free from bigotry and intolerance. While I see more to +love and admire in the Church generally, I love _all_ hard-working +churches without partiality. I think less of the points on which they +differ, and more of the points on which they agree. They appear to me +more as one church. There are many points on which I might once have +engaged in controversy, which now appear of little or no moment. While I +have more zeal for God, I have more charity for men. + +There are many things in Wesley's hymns, and many things in other hymns, +which formerly I did not understand or appreciate, or understood and +appreciated but very imperfectly, which now I understand more perfectly, +and prize more highly. And so with many things in the Bible. + +30. And I have, at times, and have had for years, strange glimpses of +the magnificence and wondrousness of the universe; startling views of +the awful grandeur and movements of its huge orbs, and of the terrible +working of its great forces, and an overpowering sight and sense of the +presence and power of the living God in all, which I never had in my +earlier days. And I have often had, and still have, at times, strange +feelings of the fact and mystery of existence: of my own existence, and +of the existence of other beings, and of God. + +31. And I have, at times, strange feelings with regard to the infinite +value of life and consciousness, and of my intellectual and moral +powers. And I have pleasant and wonderful thoughts and feelings with +regard to the lower animals, as the creatures of God, my Father; and as +manifestations of His goodness, and wisdom, and power; and as sharers +with me of an infinite Father's love. And I love them as I never loved +them in my earlier days. I feel happier in their company. I listen with +more pleasure to the songs of birds, and gaze with more delight on every +living thing. The earth and its inhabitants are new to me. The plants +and flowers are new. The universe is new. I am new to myself. All things +are new. It seems, at times, as if the new, enlarged, and higher life of +which I have become conscious through my strange experience, were worth +the fearful price which I have paid for it. + +32. But then again I think of the time I spent in sin and folly,--of the +mischief I did in those dark days,--of the grief I caused to so many +good and godly souls,--of the sorrows I entailed on those most dear to +me, and of the terrible disadvantages under which I labor, and under +which I must always labor, in consequence of my unaccountable errors, +and I am confounded and dismayed. But then, on the other hand, I am +reminded that I did not sin wilfully,--that I did not err purposely or +wantonly,--that what I did amiss I did in ignorance,--that I verily +believed myself in the way of duty when I went astray,--that I was +influenced by a desire to know the truth,--that I believed myself, at +the outset, bound as a Christian, and as a creature of God, to use my +faculties to the utmost in searching the Scriptures, and exploring +Nature, in pursuit of truth,--that when I advocated infidel views, I +advocated them believing them to be true, and believing that truth must +be most conducive to the virtue and happiness of mankind. True, +appearances were against me; but I felt myself bound, even when an +unbeliever, to "walk by faith,"--by faith in principles which I supposed +myself to have found to be true. My life, even in my worst condition, +was a life of self-sacrifice for what I regarded as eternal truth. When +I gave up my belief in a Fatherly God, and my faith in a blessed +immortality, I believed myself to be making a sacrifice at the shrine of +truth. I thought I heard her voice from the infinite universe demanding +the surrender, and conscience compelled me to comply with the demand. I +felt the dreadful nature of the sacrifice, but what could I do? + +I remember the words I uttered, and I remember the mingled emotions +which filled and agitated my soul, on that occasion. I was distressed at +the terrible necessity of giving up the cherished idols of my soul, yet +I was filled for a moment with a strange delight at the thought that I +was doing my duty in compliance with the stern demands of eternal law, +and the dread realities of universal being. And I hoped against hope +that the result would all be right. + +I weep when I read the strange words which I uttered on that dark and +terrible occasion. I said to myself, "The last remains of my religious +faith are gone. The doctrines of a personal God, and of a future life, I +am compelled to regard as the offspring, not of the understanding, but +of the imagination and affections." It is no easy matter to wean +one's-self from flattering and long cherished illusions. It is no easy +matter to believe that doctrines which have been almost universally +received, and which have been so long and so generally regarded as +essential to the virtue and happiness of mankind--doctrines, too, which +have mingled their mighty influences with so much of the beautiful and +sublime in human history, and which still, to so many, form all the +poetry and romance, almost all the interest and grandeur and blessedness +of human life, have no foundation in truth. To persons who believe in a +Fatherly God, and in human immortality, pure naturalism is terribly +uninviting. It was always so to me. I well remember the mingled horror +and pity with which, when a Christian, I regarded the man who had no +personal God, and no hope of a future life. I remember too how I wrote +or spoke of such. I mourned over them as the most hapless and miserable +of all living beings. Yet I myself have come at length, by slow degrees, +after a thousand struggles, and with infinite reluctance, to the dread +conclusion, that a personal God and an immortal life are fictions of the +human mind. Yet existence has not quite lost its charms, nor life its +enjoyments. There is something infinitely grand, and unspeakably +exciting and elevating in the consciousness of having made a sacrifice +of the most popular and bewitching of all illusions, out of respect to +truth. It was an enviable state of mind which prompted, the grand and +thrilling exclamation, "Let justice be done, though the heavens should +fall." And that state of mind is no less enviable which can sustain a +man in the sacrifice of God and immortality at the shrine of truth. Such +a sacrifice, accompanied, as it must be in the present state of society, +with a thousand other sacrifices of reputation, friendships, popular +pleasures, and social favor, is an exercise of the highest virtue, a +demonstration of the greatest magnanimity, and is accompanied or +followed with an intensity of satisfaction which none but the +martyr-spirit of truth can conceive. It is often said by Christians, +that the reason why persons doubt the existence of God and a future life +is, that they have good cause to dread them; or, as Grotius expresses +it, that they live in such a way that it would be to their interest that +there should be no God or future life. This was not the case with me. My +unbelief came upon me while I was diligently striving in all things to +do God's will. My virtue outlived my faith. + +"Born of Methodist parents, and reared under Christian influences, and a +Christian myself, and even a Christian minister for many years, I was +brought slowly and reluctantly, in spite of a world of prejudices, and +in spite of interests and associations and tastes all but almighty in +their influence, to the conclusion, that pure, unmixed Naturalism alone +accorded with what was known of the present state and the past history +of the universe. I say I was brought to these conclusions in spite of a +world of opposing influences. While a Christian, all that the world +could promise or bestow seemed to be within my reach. Friends, +popularity, wealth, power, fame; and visions of infinite usefulness to +others, and of unbounded happiness to myself in the future, were all +promised me as the reward of continued devotion to the cause of God and +Christianity. As the reward of heresy and unbelief, I had to encounter +suspicion, desertion, hatred, reproach, persecution, want, grief of +friends and kindred, anxious days and sleepless nights, and almost every +extreme of mental anguish. Still, inquiry forced me into heresy further +and further every year, and brought me at length to the extreme of doubt +and unbelief." + +It was, then, in no light mood that I gave up my faith in God, and +Christ, and immortality. The change in my views was no headlong, hasty +freak. It was the result of long and serious thought--of misguided, but +honest, conscientious study. And hence I have sometimes thought, and am +still inclined to think, that God had a hand in the matter--that He led +me, or permitted me to wander, along that strange and sorrowful road, +and to pass through those dreary and dolorous scenes, and drink so +deeply of so dreadful a cup of sorrow, for some good end. "He maketh the +wrath of man to praise Him," and perhaps he may turn our errors also to +good account. I am not disposed to believe that my life has been a +failure. It may, for anything I know, prove to have been a great +success. "Men are educated largely by their mistakes," says one. It +hardly seems likely that God would suffer a well-intentioned, though +weak and erring child, to ruin either himself or others for ever. God is +good, and the future will justify His ways, and all His saints shall +praise Him. + +My business meanwhile is, to do what I can to promote the interests of +truth, and the welfare of mankind. I must, so far as possible, redeem +lost time. I have a thousand causes for gratitude, and none for +complaint. I am very happy in general; as happy as I desire to be, and +as happy, I expect, as it is good for me to be. I sometimes feel as if +I were _too_ happy. And I certainly never ask God to make me _more_ +happy. I ask Him to make me wiser, and better, and more useful, but not +more happy. At times my cup of joy runs over. It is strange it should be +so, yet so it is. But joy and sorrow are often found in company. Paul +says of himself, "Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." The author of _Ecce +Deus_ says, "The good man's life is one unbroken repentance. Throughout +his life he suffers on account of his sins. What, then of joy?" he asks: +and he answers, "It is contemporaneous with sorrow. They are +inseparable. The joy that is born of sorrow is the only joy that is +enduring." It may seem strange, but it is true, the last year of my life +has been the happiest I ever experienced. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +A FEW OF THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED ON MY WAY THROUGH LIFE. + + +And now for a few of the lessons which I have learned on my way through +life. + +1. One, alas! is, that it is very difficult to bring young people to +benefit by the experience of their elders. It would be a happy thing if +we could put old men's heads on young men's shoulders; but no method of +performing the operation has, as yet, been hit upon. It might answer as +well, if old men could empty their heads into the heads of the young. +But this is a task almost as difficult as the former. The heads of the +young are generally full of foolish thoughts, and vain conceits, and +wild dreams of what they are to be, and do, and enjoy in the days to +come, with large admixtures at times of more objectionable materials; so +that there is no room for the counsels and admonitions of their elders. +Then there are some who do not _like_ to be counselled or admonished. +Having set their minds on the attainment of a certain object, they are +unwilling to listen to any but such as commend their course, and +encourage them with promises of success. There are others who think +they have no need of counsel or admonition. Counsel and admonition are +proper enough for some people, but they are not required in their case, +they imagine. They do not exactly think themselves beings of a superior +order, beyond the reach of ordinary dangers; but they _act_ as if they +thought so. In words they would acknowledge themselves to be but men, +liable to the common frailties of their race; but their conduct seems to +say, "It is impossible _we_ should ever err or sin as some men do; we +are better constructed, and are born to a happier lot." Their purpose is +to do right, and it never enters their minds that they can ever do +wrong. And if you tell them that they are in danger of becoming +intemperate, or skeptical, or of falling into any great error or sin, +they feel hurt, and say, "Do you suppose we are dogs that we should do +such things?" Dogs or not, when the time of trial comes, they do them. +And then they discover, that men are not always so wise, so good, or so +strong as they suppose themselves; that people may be the subjects of +weaknesses of which they are utterly unconscious, till assailed by some +unlooked for temptation; and they mourn at the last, and say, "How have +we hated instruction, and despised the counsel of the Holy One." And now +they see that the strongest need a stronger one than themselves to +shield them, and that the wisest need a wiser one than themselves to +guide them, if they are to be kept from harm. + +We have no disposition to be severe with such persons, for we belonged +to the same unhappy class ourselves. It never once entered our minds in +our earlier days, that we could ever fall away from Christ. We saw that +others were in danger, but we never supposed we were in danger +ourselves. We preached from the text, "Let him that thinketh he +standeth, take heed lest he fall," and we pressed the solemn warning on +our hearers with the greatest earnestness; but we never applied it to +ourselves. We supposed ourselves secure. And if any one had told us that +we should one day cease to be a Christian, and above all, if any man had +said that we should fall into unbelief, and be ranked with the opponents +of Christianity, we should have thought him insolent or mad. Yet we know +what followed. We cannot therefore deal harshly with our too +self-confident brethren. But we must give them faithful warning. Be on +your guard, my dear young friends. You are not so free from defects, nor +so far from danger, as your conscious innocence, or the great deceiver, +may insinuate. There may be tendencies to evil within you, and +temptations in the mysterious world around you, of the character and +force of which you have no conception. It was as great and good a man as +you perhaps that said, + + "Weaker than a bruised reed, + Help I every moment need." + +And he was wise that said,-- + + "Beware of Peter's words, + Nor confidently say, + 'I never _will_ deny thee, Lord;' + But, 'Grant I never may.'" + +There are devices of the wicked one of which you are not yet aware; +"depths of Satan" which you have not yet fathomed; and terrible +possibilities of which, as yet, you have never dreamed. I say again, Be +on your guard. "Be not high-minded, but fear." "Blessed is the man that +feareth always." None are so weak as those who think themselves strong. +None are in such danger as those who think themselves secure. + +Man, even at best, is not so great, so wise, so strong, as some are +prone to suppose: and when, cut off from Christ and His people, from the +Bible and prayer, he trusts in his own resources, he is poor, and weak, +and frail in the extreme. There are no errors, no extravagances, no +depths of degradation, into which the lawless self-reliant man may not +fall. When I had lost my faith in Christ, and had freed myself from all +restraints of Bible authority and Church discipline, I said to myself, +"I will be a MAN; all that a man acting freely, giving his soul +full scope, tends naturally to become; and I will be nothing else." I +had come to the conclusion that man was naturally good--that, when +freely and fully developed, apart from the authority of religion, +churches and books, he would become the perfection of wisdom, and +goodness, and happiness. I said to myself, "Christ was but a man; and +the reason why He so much excelled all other men was, that He acted +freely, without regard to the traditions of the elders, the law of +Moses, or any authority but that of His own untrammelled mind. I will +follow the same course. I will free myself from the prejudices of my +education, from the influence of my surroundings, and from the authority +of all existing laws and religions, and be my own sole ruler, my own +sole counsellor, my own sole guide. I will act with regard to the +religion of Christ, as Christ acted with regard to the religion of +Moses; obey it, abolish it, or modify it, as its different parts may +require. I will act with regard to the Church authorities of my time as +Jesus acted with regard to the Scribes and Pharisees of His day; I will +set them aside. I will be a man; a free, self-ruled, and self-developed +man." + +Alas, I little knew the terrible possibilities of the nature of man when +left to itself. I had no conception of its infinite weakness with regard +to what is good, or its fearful capabilities with regard to what is bad. +I had no idea of the infinite amount of evil that lay concealed in the +human heart, ready, when unrepressed, to unfold itself, and take all +horrible forms of vice and folly. I indulged myself in my mad +experiments of unlimited freedom till appalled by the melancholy +results. I did not become _all_ that unchecked license could make me; +but I became so different a creature from what I had anticipated, that I +saw the madness of my resolution, and recoiled. I came to the verge of +all evil. God had mercy on me and held me back in spite of my impiety, +or I should have become a monster of iniquity. Man was not made for +unlimited liberty. He was made for subjection to the Divine will, and +for obedience to God's law. He was made for fellowship with the good +among his fellow-men, and for submission to Christian discipline. He can +become good and great and happy only by faith in God and Christ, by +self-denial, by good society, by careful moral and religious culture, +and by constant prayer and dependence on God. I now no longer say, "I +will be a _man_;" but, "Let me be a Christian." I no longer say, "I will +be all that my nature, working unchecked, will make me;" but, "Let me +be all that Christ and Christianity can make me. Let me check all +tempers at variance with the mind of Christ; and all tendencies at +variance with His precepts. Let the mouth of that fearful abyss which +lies deep down in my nature be closed, and let the infernal fires that +smoulder there be utterly smothered; and let the love of God and the +love of man reign in me, producing a life of Christ-like piety and +beneficence. Let all I have and all I am be a sacrifice to God in +Christ, and used in the cause of truth and righteousness for the welfare +of mankind." + +The enemy of man has many devices. In my case, as in the case of so many +others, he transformed himself into "an angel of light." He did not say, +"Give up your work: forsake Christ; desert His Church; indulge your +appetites; give yourself to selfish, sensual pleasure; free yourself +from religious restraint, from moral control, from scruples of +conscience, and live for gain, or fame, or power." On the contrary; his +counsel was, "Perfect your creed; perfect your knowledge; reform the +Church; expose its corruptions; reform the ministry; expose its errors; +go back to the simplicity of Christ; return to the order of the ancient +Church; pay no regard to prevailing sentiments, or to established +customs; begin anew. Resolve on perfection; it is attainable; be content +with nothing less. Assert your rights. Be true. Prove all things; hold +fast to what is good, but cast away whatever you find to be evil. Call +no one master but Christ; and what Christ requires, ask no one but +yourself. Be true to your own conscience. God has called you to restore +the Church to its purity, to its simplicity, to its ancient power. Be +faithful, and fear no opposition. Free inquiry must lead to truth, and +truth is infinitely desirable. Assail error; assail men's inventions; +spare nothing but what is of God. It is God's own work you are doing; it +is the world's salvation for which you are laboring; and God's own +Spirit will guide you, and His power will keep you from harm." All this +was true; but it was truth without the needful accompaniment of pious +caution. It was true, but it was truth without the needful amount of +humility, of meekness, of gentleness, and of self-distrust. It was +truth, but it was truth put in such a form as to do the work of +falsehood. It was an appeal to pride, to self-conceit, to +self-sufficiency. It was truth presented in such a shape, as to abate +the sense of my dependence on God; as to make me forgetful of my own +imperfections; as to exclude from my mind all thoughts of danger, and so +prepare me for mistakes, mishaps, and ultimately ruin. It is not enough +to aim at good objects: we must be humble; we must be sensible that our +sufficiency is of God; we must be conscious of our own weakness, of our +own imperfections, and of our own danger, and move with care, and +watchfulness, and prayer. We must not please ourselves with thoughts of +the wonders we will achieve, of the services we will render to the +world, and of the honor we shall gain; but cherish the feeling that God +is all, and be content that He alone shall be glorified. We are but +earthen vessels; the excellency of the power is of God. + +O my poor soul, how do I grieve when I think of thy early dreams, and of +thy sad awakening. Like Adam, I lived in a Paradise of bliss, suspecting +no evil, and dreading no change. I had been trained to piety from my +earliest years. The Bible was my delight. Christ and Christianity were +my glory and joy. The Church was my home. To preach the Gospel, to +defend God's cause, and to labor for the salvation of the world, were +the delight of my life. I was successful. I was popular. I had many +friends, and was passionately beloved. Wherever I went, men hailed me as +their spiritual father. The chapels in which I preached were crowded to +their utmost capacity, and men regarded me as the champion of +Christianity. They applauded my labors in its behalf, and testified +their esteem and admiration by unmistakable signs. At one time I might +have applied to myself the words of Job, "When the ear heard me, then it +blessed me; and when the eye saw me, it gave witness to me. The young +men saw me, and gave me reverence; and the aged arose and stood up. Unto +me men gave ear, and waited; and kept silence at my counsel. They waited +for my words as for the showers; and opened their mouths as for the +latter rain. I chose out their way, and sat chief, and dwelt as a king +in the army, as one that comforteth the mourners." And everything +seemed to foretell a continuance of my happy lot. My prejudices and my +convictions, my tastes and my affections, my habits and my inclinations, +my interests and my family, all joined to bind me to the cause of Christ +by the strongest bonds. And I seemed as secure to others as to myself. +Hence I looked forward to a life of ever-increasing usefulness, +reflecting credit on my family and friends, and conferring blessings on +mankind at large. I revelled in hopes of a reformed Church, and a +regenerated world; and, passing the bounds of time, my spirit exulted in +the prospect of a glorious immortality. Yet "when I looked for good then +evil came; and when I waited for light there came darkness." I fell +away. My happy thoughts, my joyous hopes, my delightful prospects, all +vanished. I underwent a most melancholy transformation. The eyes that +gazed on me with affectionate rapture, now stared at me with affright +and terror; and brave, stout men wept over me like children. The light +of my life was extinguished. My dwelling was in darkness. "I was a +brother to dragons, and a companion to owls." And there was nothing +before me but the dreary prospect of a return to nothingness. And can +you, my young friends, dream of safety with facts like these in view? +Again, I say, be on your guard. An easy, dreamy self-security is the +extreme of madness. Our only safety is in watchfulness and prayer. Our +only sufficiency is of God. + + "O, never suffer me to sleep + Secure within the reach of hell; + But still my watchful spirit keep + In lowly awe and loving zeal: + And bless me with a godly fear, + And plant that guardian angel here." + +2. The second lesson I would name is this: It is dangerous to allow bad +feeling to get into your hearts towards your Christian friends, or your +brother ministers. It is especially dangerous to allow it to remain +there. It works like the infection of the plague. Try therefore to keep +your minds in a calm and comfortable state towards all with whom you +have to do. Guard against rash judgments and groundless suspicions; or +you may take offence when no offence is meant. But even when people do +you harm on purpose, it is best to be forbearing. We never know the +force of temptation under which men act; or the misconceptions under +which they labor. We may ourselves have caused their misdoings by some +unconscious error of our own. It is well to suspect ourselves sometimes +of unknown faults, and to go on the supposition that what appears +unkindness in others towards us, may be the result of some unguarded +word or inconsiderate action on our part towards them. 2. Keep your +hearts as full as possible of Christian love. The more abundant your +love, the less will be your liability either to give or take offence. 3. +And do not overrate the importance of men's misconduct towards you. We +are not so much in the power of others as we are prone to imagine. The +world is governed by God, and no one can hurt us against His will. Do +that which is right, and you and your interests are secure. So take +things comfortably. And try to overcome evil with good. And if you find +the task a hard one, seek help from God. + +3. Another lesson which I have learned on my way through life is, that +it is dangerous to indulge a spirit of controversy. There may be +occasions when controversy is a duty; but it is best, as a rule, just to +state what you believe to be the truth, and leave it to work its way in +silence. If people oppose it, misrepresent it, or ridicule it, then +state it again at the proper time, with becoming meekness and +gentleness, and then commit it to the care of its great Patron. It is +difficult to run into controversy without falling into sin. Men need to +be very wise and good to be able to go through a controversy honorably +and usefully; and by the time they are qualified for the dangerous work, +they prefer more peaceful employment. Controversy always tends to +produce excess of warmth, and warmth of a dangerous kind. It often +degenerates into a quarrel, and ends in shame. Men go from principles to +personalities; and instead of seeking each other's instruction, try only +to humble and mortify each other. They begin perhaps with a love of +truth, but they end with a struggle for victory. They try to deal fairly +at the outset, but become unscrupulous at last, and say or do anything +that seems likely to harass or injure their opponents. The beginning of +strife is like the letting out of water from a reservoir; there is first +a drop, then a trickle, then a headlong rushing torrent, bearing down +all before it, and sweeping away men and their works to destruction. It +is best, therefore, to take the advice of the proverb, and "leave off +contention before it be meddled with." + +4. Another lesson that I have learnt on my way through life is, that +ministers should deal very tenderly with their younger brethren. They +should teach them, so far as they are able, and check them when they see +them doing anything really wrong; but they should never interfere +needlessly with their spiritual freedom. Young men of mind and +conscience _will_ think. They will test their creeds by the Sacred +Oracles, and endeavor to bring them into harmony with the teachings of +Christ and His Apostles. And it is right they should. It is their duty, +as they have opportunity, to "prove all things." And few young men, of +any considerable powers, can compare the creeds which they receive in +their childhood with the teachings of Sacred Scripture, without coming +to the conclusion, that on some points they are erroneous, and on others +defective; that on some subjects they contain too much, and on others +too little. And good young men will naturally feel disposed to lay aside +what they regard as erroneous, and to accept what presents itself to +their minds as true. In some cases they will make mistakes. The only men +that never think wrong, are those who never think at all. There never +was a child born into the world that learned to walk without stumbling +occasionally, and at times even falling outright. And there never was a +spiritual child that learned to travel in the paths of religious +investigation, without falling at times into error. But what is to be +done on such occasions? What does the mother do when her baby falls? +Does she run and kick the poor little creature, and say, "You naughty, +dirty tike, if ever you try to walk again, I will throw you into the +gutter?" On the contrary, she runs and catches up the dear little thing; +and if it has hurt itself, she kisses the place to make it well, and +says, "Try again, my darling; try again." And it _does_ try again: and +in course of time it learns to walk as steadily as its mother; and when +she begins to stagger under the infirmities of age, it takes her hand, +and steadies her goings. + +And so it should be in spiritual matters. When a good young man falls +into error, we should treat him with the tenderness and affection of a +mother. "We were gentle among you," says Paul to the Thessalonians, +"even as a nurse cherisheth her children." And this is the example that +we should follow towards our younger brethren. Whether we would keep +them from erring, or bring them back when they go astray, we should +treat them tenderly.... We should try to win their love and confidence. +Men can often be led, when they cannot be driven. There are numbers who, +if you attempt to drive them, will run the contrary way; who, if you +treat them with respect, and show them that you love them, will follow +you where-ever you may go. + +But you must give them time. They cannot always come right all at once. +When a fisherman angles for large fish, he provides himself with a +flexible, elastic rod, and a good long length of line; and when he has +hooked his prey, he gives it the line without stint, and allows it to +dart to and fro, and plunge and flounder at pleasure, till it has tired +itself well, and then he brings it to the bank with ease. If he were to +attempt to drag the fish to the shore at once, by main force, it would +snap his rod, or break his line, and get away into the deep; and he +would lose both his fish and his tackle. And so it is in the world of +mind. When we have to do with vigorous and active-minded young men, we +must allow their intellects a little play. We must wait till they begin +to feel their weakness. We must place a little confidence in them, and +give them a chance both of finding out their deficiencies, and of +developing their strength. + +It would not be amiss if elder preachers could go on the supposition +that they are not quite perfect or infallible themselves,--that it is +possible that their brethren may discover some truth in Scripture, that +has not yet found its way into their creed; or detect some error in +their creed, that has lurked there unsuspected for ages. And they ought +to be willing to learn, as well as disposed to teach. + +But in any case, if our studious young brethren miss their way +sometimes, we must be kind and gentle towards them, and in our endeavors +to save them, must proceed with care. Deal harshly with them, and you +drive them into heresy or unbelief. Deal gently and lovingly with them, +and you bring them back to the truth. How often the disciples of Jesus +erred with regard to the nature of His kingdom, and the means by which +it was to be established. Yet how patiently He bore with them. And in +this, as in other things, He has left us an example that we should tread +in His steps. The sun keeps the planets within their spheres, and even +brings back the comets from their far-off wanderings, by the gentle +power of attraction. And the Sun of Righteousness keeps His spiritual +planets in their orbits, and brings from the blackness of darkness the +stars that wander, by the same sweet power. And the secondary lights of +the world must keep their satellites in their orbits, and bring back to +their spheres the stars that fall or lose their way, by kindred +influences. The mightiest and divinest power in the universe is +LOVE. + +5. And now comes a lesson to the young thinkers. Suppose your elder +brethren should treat you unkindly; suppose they should discourage your +search after truth, and require you to conform your creed to their own +ideas, and your way of speaking to their own old style of expression; +suppose that they should look with suspicion on your endeavors to come +nearer to the truth, and, whenever you give utterance to a thought or an +expression at variance with their own, should denounce you as heretics, +and threaten you with excommunication, what should you do? + +We answer, go quietly on in the fear of the Lord. Make no complaint, but +prepare yourselves for expulsion. When expelled, go quietly to some +Church that can tolerate your freedom, and work there in peace as the +servants of God. Cherish no resentment. Commit your cause to God, and, +laboring to do His will, leave Him to choose your lot. + +Even the trials that come from the ignorance or wickedness of men, are +of God's appointment. We are taught that it was by God's ordination +that Judas betrayed Christ; that God employed the wickedness of the +traitor for the accomplishment of His great designs. David said, +referring to Shimei, "Let him curse, for God hath commanded him." God +employed the wickedness of Shimei, to try and punish David. Wesley has +embodied the sentiment in one of his hymns, as follows: + + "Lord, I adore Thy gracious will; + Through every instrument of ill + My Father's goodness see: + Accept the complicated wrong + Of Shimei's hand, and Shimei's tongue, + As kind rebukes from Thee." + +Joseph said, God had sent him down to Egypt to save many souls alive. +His wicked brethren were only the instruments of his banishment. _They_ +meant it for _evil_, _God_ turned it to _good_. And so in your case: God +may be using the ignorance or the wickedness of your persecutors to +separate you from a body for which you are not fitted, and to place you +in one where you will be more useful and more happy. When we do right, +God will make the errors, and even the sins of our enemies, work for our +good. + +6. Another lesson which I have thoroughly learnt is, that though men may +become unbelievers through other causes than vice, they cannot continue +unbelievers without spiritual and moral loss. The inevitable tendency of +infidelity is to debase men's souls. And here I speak not on the +testimony of others merely, but from extensive observation and personal +experience. I have known numbers whom infidelity has degraded, but none +whom it has elevated. We do not say that every change in a Christian's +belief is demoralizing. Disbelief in error, resulting from increase of +knowledge, may improve his character; but the loss of faith in Christ, +and God, and immortality, can never do otherwise than strengthen a man's +tendencies to vice, and weaken his inclinations towards virtue. When +infidels say that their unbelief has made them more virtuous, they +attach different ideas to the word virtuous from those which Christians +attach to it. They call evil good, and good evil. The secularists call +fornication and adultery virtue. But this is fraud. That infidelity is +unfavorable to what men generally call virtue, and friendly to what men +generally call vice, infidels themselves know. Their passions and +prejudices may make them doubt the bad influence of their unbelief for a +time, but not long. I myself questioned the downward tendency of +infidelity in my own case for a time, but facts proved too strong for me +in the end. My friends could see a deterioration both in my temper and +conduct. And there was a falling off in my zeal and labors for the good +of mankind from the first. There was a falling off even in my talents. +There was a greater tendency to self-indulgence. It was owing to the +still lingering influence of my early faith, and of my early Christian +tastes and habits, that I was no worse. The virtue which I retained I +owed to the religion on which I had unhappily turned my back. When +unbelievers are moral, they are so, not in consequence, but in spite of +their unbelief. When Christian believers are bad, they are so, not in +consequence, but in spite of their religion. Infidelity tends to destroy +conscience. It annihilates the great motives to virtue. It strengthens +the selfish and weakens the benevolent affections and tendencies of our +nature, and smoothes the road to utter depravity. The farther men wander +from Christ, and the longer they remain away, the nearer they approach +to utter degeneracy. + +It seldom happens that men who have lived long under the influence of +Christianity, become grossly immoral as soon as they lose their faith: +but they decline in virtue from the first, and utter depravation comes +in time. I have seen a tree growing prostrate on the ground, when many +of its roots had been torn up from the soil; but it grew very poorly; +and the growth it made was owing to the hold which the remainder of its +roots still had on the soil. The branch that is cut off from the tree +may retain a portion of its sap, and show some signs of languishing life +for weeks; but it dies at length. And so with the branches cut off from +the spiritual vine; they gradually wither and decay. The iron taken +white hot from the furnace, does not get cool at once; but it gradually +comes down to the temperature of the atmosphere with which it is +surrounded. The prodigal did not get through his share of his father's +property in a day, but he found himself perishing of hunger at length. A +man does not die the moment he ceases to eat, but he _will_ die if he +_persists_ in his abstinence. A man may live in an unhealthy district, +and breathe unwholesome air for some time, without apparent injury; but +disease will show itself in the end. It is not uncharitableness that +makes us speak thus, but charity itself. It is desirable, that both +believers and unbelievers should know the truth on this important +subject. Infidelity is the enemy of all virtue, and consequently of all +happiness; and it is necessary that this should be generally and +thoroughly known, and that the old-fashioned prejudice against it should +be allowed to keep its ground, and remain as strong as ever. And +Christians must show their charity towards unbelievers, not by abating +men's horror of infidelity, but by endeavoring to deliver them from its +deadly power. + +7. And here comes another lesson. Do not suppose that unbelievers are +irreclaimable. There is always good ground to hope for the conversion of +those unbelievers who retain a respect for virtue, if they are properly +treated; and even those who are sunk in vice should not be abandoned in +despair. Several of those who have returned to Christ during the last +ten years, were men who had gone far in various forms of wickedness. And +many of those converts from infidelity of whom we read in old religious +books, were persons of immoral character. And though habits of vice are +not easily broken off, yet the miseries they entail on men may rouse +them to more vigorous efforts for their deliverance. And it sometimes +happens that those who are poor in promise, are rich in performance. You +remember the Saviour's parable of the two sons. The Father said to the +first, "Son, go work to-day in my vineyard." And he answered and said, +"I will not," but afterwards he repented and went. And the father said +to the second, "Go." And he answered and said, "I go, Sir," and went +not. And this, said Christ, is what takes place between Me and mankind. +I say to the fair-seeming people, "Give yourselves to God;" and they +answer, "We will, Lord," but still live on in selfishness and sin. I +say to abandoned profligates, "Give yourselves to God;" and they answer, +"We will not;" but on thinking the matter over, they repent and live to +God. Harlots and publicans enter the kingdom of God, while scribes and +pharisees remain without. The oyster, if you look at its outward +covering, is a "hard case;" yet within, it is soft and tender in the +extreme. The ugliest caterpillar is but an undeveloped butterfly, and in +time, if placed under favorable influences, may leave its crawling, and +mount aloft on wings of gold and silver. And it often happens that the +worst children make the best men. The fiercest persecutor of the early +Church became the chief of the Apostles. He was honest when dragging the +saints to prison; and all that was wanted to make him a preacher of the +faith which he labored so madly to destroy, was LIGHT. + +And so it is still. Some of the most unhappy and unpromising of men and +women may require but a gentle word, a glimmer of light, or a +manifestation of your kind concern for their welfare, to win their +hearts to God. It does not appear that any of the early Christians +supposed that there was anything good in the heart of Saul the +persecutor, and nothing is said of any attempt on their part to convince +him of his error. And many, even when they heard he was converted, could +not believe the story. And even Ananias, when told by God Himself that +the converted persecutor was praying, could not get over his fears and +suspicions all at once. When God said, "Go, and help the poor man," +Ananias answered, "Lord, I have heard by many of this man, how much evil +he hath done to Thy saints at Jerusalem." But the Lord said unto him, +"Go thy way, haste to his help, for he is a chosen vessel unto Me, to +bear My name before the Gentiles, and to kings, and to the children of +Israel." At last Ananias went his way, and visited the praying penitent. +But even after this, when Paul had been preaching for some time with +great success, and had made the greatest sacrifices, and braved even +death itself, in the cause of Christ, there were numbers who doubted his +sincerity. "When he went to Jerusalem, and attempted to join himself to +the disciples, they were all afraid of him, and did not believe that he +_was_ a disciple." Barnabas however, good man, took him by the hand, and +succeeded at length in obtaining for him, to some extent, the advantages +of Church fellowship. + +Here then we have a couple of lessons; the first is, to seek the +conversion of unbelievers; the second is, to guard against an excess of +skepticism in ourselves with regard to the sincerity of those who appear +to be converted. It would be well in forming our judgments of persons +professing religion, to follow the rule laid down by Christ, "By their +fruits ye shall know them. A good tree cannot bring forth bad fruit, nor +a bad tree good fruit." If men live soberly, righteously, and godly--if +they make great sacrifices, and incur reproach and persecution for +Christ, and labor zealously in His cause, it is no great stretch of +charity to go on the supposition, that their profession of faith in God +and Christ is sincere. + +8. But suppose the churches should treat a convert from infidelity as +the church at Jerusalem treated Paul, what should he do? We would say, +Take all quietly, and go zealously on with your work. You are the +servant of God, and not of man; and you must not desert your Master, +because a number of His servants err in their judgment of you, or show, +in their conduct towards you, a lack of charity. Serve your Redeemer all +the more faithfully. This was the course which Paul took. He "increased +the more in strength;" and he abounded the more in labors. It would be a +poor excuse for the neglect of your duty to God and Christ, to +yourselves and your fellow creatures, to say, "The churches did not +treat us as kindly as they ought; they doubted our sincerity." Such +conduct would not only be exceedingly wicked, but extremely foolish. It +would be the surest way to confirm the doubts of the churches, and make +them feel, that in treating you coldly, they had acted wisely. The +surest way to gain the confidence of the Church, is not to care too much +about it. If you show that you are satisfied with the favor of God, and +with your own sweet consciousness of the happy change you have +experienced, everything else will come in its season. Goodness will draw +after it the reputation of goodness. The shadow will follow the +substance. And whether it does or not, your duty is to be resigned and +cheerful. A man that has really been converted from infidelity to +Christianity, will be so happy, and will feel so thankful for the +blessed change, if he appreciates it as he ought, that he will hardly +care whether he has the favor and confidence of his brethren or not. +There is no intimation that the returned Prodigal looked black at his +father, and threatened to go back again into the far country, because +his elder brother refused to join in his welcome home. The probability +is, that he felt so ashamed of his sin and folly, so overpowered with +the tenderness of his father, and so happy to find himself at home +again, that he never inquired whether other people were satisfied or +not. The father noticed the unhappiness of his elder son, and sought to +soothe and comfort him; but the younger son was occupied with other +thoughts; and having suffered long the grievous pangs of hunger, he +would, for a time at least, be busy at the table, speculating in +raptures, it may be, on the difference between the flesh of "the fatted +calf," and "the husks that the swine did eat." + +It is, in one respect, an advantage to the converted unbeliever to be +treated by the Church with shyness. It affords him an opportunity of +proving his attachment to Christ and Christianity, in a way in which he +could not prove it, if every one welcomed him with demonstrations of +affection, and signs of joy. None are so slow to believe in the +sincerity of a converted infidel as infidels themselves; and to be able +to give to his old associates a proof so decisive of the genuineness of +his change, and of the value he puts on Christianity, will be regarded +by the convert as a privilege of no light value. And it is fit and +proper, as well as better for the convert, that he should be reminded of +his former weakness, and incited to watchfulness and humility, by the +pain of some kind of life-long disadvantage. + +9. Let no one expect to get through the world without trouble. The thing +is not possible. Nor is it desirable. We _need_ a little trouble now and +then to keep us awake; and God will take care that we have it. We had +better therefore look for it, and when it comes, bear it patiently. It +is no use fretting or fuming; it only makes things worse. When we are +restless under little troubles, God sends us greater ones; and if our +impatience continues, he sends us greater still. And there is no remedy. +An eel may wriggle itself "out of the frying-pan, into the fire;" but it +cannot wriggle itself back again out of the fire, even into the +frying-pan. And so it is with us. We may wriggle ourselves out of one +little trouble, into two greater ones; but we cannot wriggle ourselves +back again out of the two greater ones, into the little one. The longer +we resist the will of God, the worse we shall fare. We had better +therefore bear the ills we have, than plunge into others that we know +not of. It is best to submit at once. If we were wise we should say with +the Redeemer, "The cup that My Father giveth me, shall I not drink it?" +God knows what is best for us, and He will never inflict on us a pang +which He does not see to be necessary to our usefulness and welfare. It +is not for His own pleasure that He afflicts us, but for our profit, +that we may be partakers of His holiness. + +And sorrow is the seed of joy. And pain adds to the sweetness of our +pleasures. Hunger sweetens our food, and thirst our drink, and weariness +our moments of rest; and "our light afflictions, which are but for a +moment, work out for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of +glory." + +We are quite mistaken when we look at our trials as unmixed evils. They +"are blessings in disguise." The dripping clouds which hide the sun, +enrich the earth. The difficulties with which we have to contend, +increase our strength. The tail of the kite, which seems to pull it +down, helps it to rise. And the afflictions, which seem to press us to +the ground, help to raise us to heaven. + +Let us take our lot with meekness then, and learn in all things to say +to our Heavenly Father, "Thy will be done." + +10. Join the Church. The Church is an institution of Heaven, and +connection with it is necessary to your spiritual safety. Some think +they can stand alone; but when they make the attempt, they fall. No one +can stand, who does not use the means which God has given him for his +support; and one of those means is fellowship with the Church. Without +civil society men gradually sink into barbarism; and without religious +society Christians sink into earthliness and impiety. + +Some of the sweetest and most beautiful of our flowering shrubs, and +some of the richest of our fruit-bearing trees, are unable to raise +themselves from the ground without the assistance of their stronger +kindred. This is the case with the honeysuckle, the ivy, and the grape +vine. Left to themselves on the open plain, they sprawl upon the ground, +choked with the grass, and cropped and trampled on by beasts, until at +length they perish. But placed in woods or hedgerows, they clasp with +their living tendrils, or embrace with their whole bodies, their +vigorous neighbors, climb to the light and sunshine by their aid, +display their blossoms, and bear their rich delicious fruit in full +perfection. And we are like these trees. We must have support from +others, or perish. + +This is not all. Even the stoutest and strongest trees, such as the oak, +the ash, and the sycamore, do best in company. Plant those trees in +groves, and guard them from the crushing steps and greedy maws of +cattle, and they grow up tall, and straight, and smooth. They shield +each other from the stormy winds, and they show a sort of silent +emulation, each raising its head as high as possible, to catch the +freshest air and the fullest streams of light. But plant one of those +trees alone in the open field, and leave it unfenced and unguarded, and +the probability is, it will perish. If it should escape destruction, its +growth will be retarded, and its form will be disfigured. It will have +neither size nor comeliness. It will be cropped by the cattle, and bent +and twisted by the winds; it will be stunted and dwarfed, crooked and +mis-shapen, knotted and gnarled, neither pleasant to the eye, nor good +for timber. Not one in a thousand would ever become a tall, a straight, +and a majestic tree. + +Mr. Darwin says, that on some large tracts on which, while they were +unenclosed and unprotected, there was not a tree to be seen, there soon +appeared, after the land was enclosed by a fence, a countless multitude +of fine Scotch firs. The seeds of these trees had been sown by some +means, and they had germinated, and the embryo trees had sprung up; but +the cattle had cropped the tender shoots, or crushed and trampled them +down, and not one had been able to raise its head above the grass or +heather. On looking down and searching carefully among the heather, he +found in one square yard of ground, no fewer than thirty-two small +trees, one of which had been vainly trying to raise its head above the +heather for six and twenty years. After this tract of land had been +enclosed for awhile, it was covered thick with a countless multitude of +fine young trees. And so it is with Christians. Leave them in the open +common of the world, and they gradually come down to a level with the +tastes and manners of the world. Place them within the guarded +enclosures of the Church, and they rise to the dignity and glory of +saints. "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise; but a companion of +fools shall be destroyed." Hence "the Lord added to the Church daily +such as should be saved." + +When you get into the Church, stay there as long as you honestly can; +and honor it by a truly Christian life; and aid it by your labors; and +support it liberally with your money. The best spent money in the world +is that which is employed in promoting the spread of Christianity. And +try to live in peace both with your pastor and your fellow-members. Obey +the rules. Do not dream of unlimited liberty; you cannot have it; and it +would do you no good if you could, but harm. And unlimited liberty for +one, would be slavery or martyrdom for the rest. Judge the Church and +your pastors charitably, as you would like to be judged yourself. Expect +to find imperfections in them, and make as much allowance for them as +you can, that they may be led to make allowances for the imperfections +they find in you. Look more at the good that is in your brethren than at +the evil; it will cause you to love them the more, and make you feel +happier in their company. If any of them be overtaken in a fault, try to +restore them, in the spirit of meekness. And let the mishaps of your +brethren remind you that _you_ too are exposed to temptation. + +Calculate on meeting with trials or unpleasantnesses in the Church +occasionally; for offences are sure to come. Churches are made up of +men, and men are full of imperfections, so that misunderstandings, and +even misdoings at times, are inevitable. You may be misjudged or +undervalued. There will be differences of tastes and opinions, and even +clashings of interest, between you and your brethren. And trials may +come from quarters from which you could never have expected them, and of +a kind that you could not possibly anticipate. But make up your minds, +by the help of God, to bear all patiently. Remember how God has borne +with you; and consider what Jesus suffered from the weaknesses, the +errors, and the sins of men; and how meekly and patiently He endured. + +And understand that others may have to bear with as many +unpleasantnesses from you, as you have to bear with from them. You may +misunderstand or undervalue others, as much as they misunderstand or +undervalue you. And others may be as much disappointed in you, as you +are in them. And you may try their patience, as much as they try yours. +We know when we are hurt by others, but we do not always know when +others are hurt by us. And we can see the defects of others, when we +cannot see our own. And we should consider, that _they_ will know when +they are hurt by us, when they may not know that we are hurt by them; +and that _they_ will be able to see our imperfections, when they will be +quite unconscious of their own. And if we would not have them to make +too much of _our_ defects and blunders, we must not make too much of +_theirs_. If they can bear with _us_, we must learn to bear with _them_, +and think ourselves well off to have things settled so. If we could see +ourselves as God sees us, we might be more astonished that others should +be able to bear with us, than that we should be required to bear with +them. + +And the trials we meet with in the Church will do us good, if we look at +them in a proper light, and receive them in a proper spirit. They will +reveal to us the defects of our brethren, and draw us to labor for their +improvement. And in laboring for the improvement of others, we shall +improve ourselves. + +And the unpleasant friction which takes place between us and our +brethren, will only tend to smoothe the ruggedness of our temper, and +rub off the unevennesses of our character, provided we can keep +ourselves from impatience and resentment. In going along the course of a +brook or a river, you sometimes come upon a bend, where you find a heap +of smooth and nicely rounded pebble stones thrown up. Did you ever ask +yourselves how these pebbles came to be so round and smooth? When broken +off from their respective rocks, they were as irregular in form, they +had as sharp corners, and as rough, and ragged, and jagged edges, and +were altogether as ugly and unsightly things as any fragments of rocks +you ever looked upon. But they got into the water, and the stream rolled +them along, and rubbed them gently one against another, and this was the +way they came to be so round and smooth. There is no doubt, that if the +stones could have talked, and if they had had no more sense than we +have, whenever they found that their neighbor stones were rubbing them, +they would have screamed out, "Oh! how you scratch;" never dreaming that +they were scratching the other stones just as much at the same time. But +fortunately the stones could not talk; and though they had not so much +sense as we have, they had less nonsense, and that served them as +well--so they took their rubbing quietly; and hence the smoothness of +their surface, and the beauty of their shape. Now here we are, living +stones in the great stream of time, tumbled about and rubbed one against +another. Let us take our rubbing patiently, and give ourselves a chance +of getting rid of our unevennesses, and of being brought to a comely +shape. Have patience, my friends. The trouble will not continue long. +When we have got our proper shape, God will remove us to our proper +places in that living temple which He is building in the heavens, and +our rubbing will be at an end for ever. + +When I was first invited by the Primitive Methodists of Tunstall to +preach in their chapel, one of the class-leaders and local preachers in +the circuit threw up his plan, and sent in his class-book, saying he +would not belong to a society that would allow Joseph Barker to preach +in their pulpits. He was under a wrong impression with regard to my +views. One of the Tunstall travelling preachers went to see him, and +told him that he was laboring under a mistake, and advised him to take +back his class-book and plan. "Come," said he, "and have a little talk +with Mr. Barker." He came, and found he had been mistaken. "Forgive +me," said he. "I cannot," said I; "you have committed no offence. I will +save my pardons till you do something really wicked." "Then let us +pray," said he; and we knelt down, and prayed for one another, and we +all felt better. He came that night to hear me lecture. The subject was +THE CHURCH. I spoke of the unpleasantnesses with which we +sometimes meet from our brethren, and while exhorting my hearers to take +their trials patiently, I used the illustration I have given here. The +old man sat on my left in the front of the gallery, and was much +excited. He wept. At length, unable any longer to restrain his feelings, +he cried aloud, "Glory; Hallelujah; I'll stop and be rubbed." He did +stop. But he had not much more rubbing to endure. In less than twelve +months, on retiring one night to rest, in his usual health, he passed +away suddenly, and peacefully, to his rest in heaven. Let us "stop and +be rubbed." Better be rubbed in the Church, than thrown out into the +broad highway of the world, and broken with the strong man's hammer. + +11. And now with regard to reform. It is right that we should be +reformers. There are plenty of evils both in the Church and the State, +as well as in individuals, and it is our duty to do what we can to abate +or cure them. But there is a right and a wrong way of going about the +business, and if we would avoid doing mischief while we are trying to do +good, we must proceed with care. + +Reformers must learn to wait as well as to work. You cannot make +churches, or states, or even individuals, all that you would like them +to be, in a moment. You cannot make yourselves what you would like to be +as quickly as you would wish. If you are like a man that I know, you +will find the improvement of your own habits, and tempers, and manners, +a task for life. And if the change for the better is so slow in +yourselves, whom you have in your hands continually, and with whom you +can take what liberties you please, what can you expect it to be in +others? It is the law of God that things shall pass from bad to good, +and from better to best, by slow and almost imperceptible gradations. + +All the great and beneficent operations of Nature are silent and slow. +Nothing starts suddenly into being; nothing arrives instantly at +perfection; nothing falls instantly into decay. The germination of the +seed, the growth of the plant, the swelling of the bud, the opening of +the flower, the ripening of the fruit, are all the results of slow and +silent operations. Still slower is the growth of the majestic forest. +And the trees of greatest worth, which supply us with our choicest and +most durable timber, have the slowest growth of all. And so it is with +things that live and move. Their growth is silent as the grave. And man, +the highest of created beings, advances to maturity most tardily of all. +Our development is so gradual, that the changes we undergo from day to +day are imperceptible. And the development of our minds is as gradual as +the growth of our bodies. We gather our knowledge a thought, a fact, a +lesson at a time. We form our character, a line, a trace, a touch a day. + +Society is subject to the same law. Churches and nations are collections +of individuals, each changing slowly, and must therefore themselves +change more slowly still. You cannot force the growth of a single plant +or animal at pleasure; still less can you force at will the advancement +or improvement of society. You may change a nation's laws and +institutions suddenly, but the change will be of no service, so long as +the minds of the people remain unchanged. + +All the great beneficent changes of Nature are gradual. How slowly the +darkness of the night gives place to the morning dawn, and how slowly +the grey dawn of the morning brightens into noon! How slowly the cold of +winter gives place to the warmth of spring and summer. How slowly the +seed deposited in the ground springs up, putting forth first the blade, +then the ear, and then the full ripe corn in the ear. And how slowly we +grow up from babyhood to manhood, and how slowly we pass on from early +sprightly manhood, to the sobriety and wisdom of age. And how slowly the +nations advance in science, in arts, and in commerce; in religion, and +morals, and government. And so it is in all the works of God. Even the +startling phenomena presented by the earth's surface, which earlier +philosophers supposed to be the result of violent and sudden +convulsions, are now regarded as the result of the slow and ordinary +action of natural powers. Leisurely movement is the eternal and +universal law. And it is no use complaining; you cannot alter it. You +cannot make a hen hatch her eggs in less than three weeks, do what you +will. You may crack the shells, thinking to let the chickens out a +little earlier; but you let death in, and the chickens never do come out +at all. "The more haste the less speed." I have had proof of this more +than once in my own experience. I once lived in a house terribly +infested with rats, and I wanted to get rid of them as quick as I could, +for they were a great nuisance. But, I was in too big a hurry to +succeed. One night I heard a terrible splashing in the water-tub in the +cellar. "That's a rat," said I, "I'll dispatch that, anyhow:" and I took +the lighted candle and poker, and hastened into the cellar, thinking to +kill the creature at once. When the rat saw me with candle and poker, it +made an extra spring, completely cleared the edge of the tub, and got +safe away into its hole. I was in such a hurry to kill it, that I saved +its life. When I got to it, it was drowning itself as nicely as it could +do; and if I had had patience to wait, it would have been dead in ten +minutes. But because I would not wait, and let it die quietly, it would +not die at all. And it may be living now for anything I know, and may +have bred a hundred other rats since then, and all because I would not +give it time to die in peace. There are rats everywhere still. There are +rats in the Church, rats in the State; rats in palaces, and rats in +hovels. There are rats of despotism and tyranny, rats of slavery and +war, rats of rebellion and anarchy. There are rats of superstition and +idolatry, rats of heresy and infidelity, rats of intemperance and +licentiousness. And it is right to try to kill them off. But we had +better go to work carefully. We cannot put things right in an instant. +And when wicked laws, or vicious principles have received their death +blow, we had better give them time to die in quiet. Haste and impatience +may spoil all. + +12. Though unbelief may not always be a sin, it is always a great +calamity. As we have said, its tendency is always to immorality, and +immorality always tends to misery and death. Byron perished in his +prime, and his short life and his untimely death were both unhappy. +Unbelievers are seldom happy in their domestic relations. And in cutting +themselves off from God, they reduce the noblest affections of their +souls to starvation. They have no suitable exercise or gratification for +their natural instinctive gratitude, their reverence, or their love. +They have nothing in which they can securely trust. Even their family +and social affections often decline and die. + +Many unbelievers are poor, and infidel poverty is always envious. The +world is a very trying one to unbelievers: hardly anything pleases them; +and nothing pleases them long. Rulers do not please them: they are +despots and tyrants. Their fellow subjects do not please them: they are +cowardly slaves. Their masters do not please them: they are +extortioners. Their men do not please them: they are knaves. The rich do +not please them: they are leeches, caterpillars, cormorants. The poor do +not please them: they are mean, deceitful and dishonest. Religion does +not please them; it is superstition: and philosophy does not please +them; it is a bore and a sham. Priests do not please them; they are +cheats: and the people do not please them; they are dupes. The climates +do not suit them: they are too hot, or too cold; too damp, or too dry; +and the seasons do not please them--they are always uncertain, and +seldom right. The world at large disgusts them: it takes the part of +their enemies. It favors the religious classes, and mocks and tortures +the infidel philosopher. Their bodies are not right; they are always +ailing, and threatening to give way: and their minds are not right; they +are never contented and at rest. There is nothing right in the present; +and there is nothing promising in the future. They think themselves the +wisest people in the world, yet people in general regard them as fools; +and they themselves can see that their fancied wisdom does not prove +their friend. + +They can give no explanation of the mysteries of the universe. They +cannot account for the facts which geology reveals with regard to the +natural history of the globe. They cannot account for the mechanism of +the heavens, or the chemistry of the earth. They cannot account for +life, organization, or intelligence. They cannot account for instinct. +They cannot account for the marks of design which are everywhere visible +in Nature, nor for the numberless wonders of special arrangement and +adaptation manifest in her works. They cannot account for the difference +between man and the lower animals. Animals can indulge themselves freely +and take no harm; man cannot indulge himself freely without misery and +ruin. Animals can be happy without self-denial; man cannot. Man excels +in the gift of reason, yet commits mistakes, and perpetrates crimes, +which we look for in vain among the beasts of the field. Man, with a +thousand times more power than the brutes, and with immensely greater +capacities and opportunities for happiness, is frequently the most +miserable being on earth. On the supposition that man was made for a +different end, and endowed with a different nature from the brutes--on +the supposition that man was made for virtue, for piety, for rational, +religious self-government, for voluntary obedience to God, for the joy +of a good conscience, for heaven--in a word, on the supposition that the +Scriptural and Christian doctrine about man is true, all this is +explained; but on the infidel theory all is a torturing, maddening +mystery. + +And let infidels do what they will, and say what they please, the world +at large will hold to the religious theory. Mahometans, Pagans, and +Christians all insist that man is made for higher work, and meant for a +higher destiny, than the lower animals. The Christian theory is accepted +by the highest of our race. They regard it with the deepest reverence. +The books that unfold it they regard as divine. They read them in their +families. They read them in their temples. They teach them in their +schools. They publish them in every language; they send them round the +globe. In England and America, the first of the nations, you see them +everywhere. You meet with them in hotels, in boarding-houses, at railway +stations, and on steam packets; in asylums and infirmaries; in barracks +and in prisons; in poor-houses and in palaces; in the drawing-rooms of +the wealthy, and in the hovels of the poor. The greatest scholars and +rarest geniuses devote their lives to the diffusion of their doctrines; +and there is no probability of a change. If Christianity be false, the +world is mad: if it be true, the case of the infidel is deplorable in +the extreme. + +And that many portions of the Christian system _are_ true, is past +doubt. They carry the evidence of their truth on their very face. And +other portions admit of easy proof. The truth of many Christian +doctrines can be proved by experience. And the rest are probable enough. +There is nothing absurd, nothing irrational in Christianity. The +teachings of Christ are the perfection of goodness. They are the +perfection of wisdom and beauty. Even Goethe could say, "The human +race can never attain to anything higher than Christianity, as presented +in the life and teachings of its Founder." And again he says, "How much +soever spiritual culture may advance, the natural sciences broaden and +deepen, and the human mind enlarge, the world will never get beyond the +loftiness and moral culture of Christianity as it shines and glistens in +the Gospels."--_Farhenlehre_, iii. 37. + +And nothing can be more true. + +Look for a few moments at Christ and Christianity. + +And, first, what is Christ as presented in the Gospels? + +1. He is, first, holy, harmless, undefiled; a lamb without blemish and +without spot. This is the lowest trait in His character. Yet it is a +great thing for any one to remain innocent in a world like this, with a +nature like ours. + +2. But He was, second, an example of the highest moral and spiritual +excellence. He was devout, pious, resigned, towards His Heavenly Father. +He was full of benevolence towards men. He did good. The happiness of +mankind was the end, and doing good the business, of His life. He had no +other object. He paid no regard to wealth, to power, to pleasure, or to +fame. He was so fixed and single in His aim, that there is no room for +mistake. To do good, to bless mankind, was His meat and drink. + +3. And He did good to men's bodies as well as to their souls. While He +taught the ignorant, and reformed the bad, and comforted the penitent, +He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf, bread +to the hungry, and life to the dead. + +4. He enjoined the same way of life on His disciples. "Freely ye have +received," said He, "freely give." + +5. While He lived and labored for the good of all, He paid special +attention to the poor. + +6. Yet He never flattered the poor, nor pandered to their prejudices or +passions. He never taught them to envy the rich, or revile the great, or +to throw the blame of their sorrows on others. + +7. While kind to the poor, He was just and respectful to the rich. His +conduct to Nicodemus, to Zaccheus, to the young man that came to +question Him about the way to heaven, and to the Roman centurion, was +courteous and comely to the last degree. He was faithful, but not harsh. + +8. He was good to all classes. He loved the Jews, yet He was just and +kind to the Samaritans, to the Syro-phenician woman, and to the Roman +soldier. + +9. He was especially kind to women, even to the fallen ones. He showed +none of that indifference or disdain for woman that the proud barbarian +exhibits, or of that heartless contempt which the vicious sensualist +manifests. He rose alike above the selfish passions and the inveterate +prejudices of his age, and conferred on the injured sex the blessings of +freedom and dignity, of purity and blessedness. + +10. He showed the tenderest regard to children. "He took them in His +arms and blessed them," and said, "Suffer little children to come unto +Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." + +11. He was kind to the outcast. He was a friend of publicans and +sinners. He went among the lowest, the most neglected, the most +despised, the most hated and dreaded of mankind, and labored for their +salvation. The parables of the Lost Sheep, and of the Prodigal Son, +speak volumes in His praise. + +12. He was always gentle, tolerant, and forgiving. He refused to bring +down fire from heaven on the villagers that had slighted Him, saying +"The Son of Man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them." +He commended the virtue of Samaritan heretics. He has nothing harsh even +for the infidel Sadducee. He complies with the unreasonable wishes of +the skeptical Thomas. He pardons Peter. He is severe with the Scribes +and Pharisees only, who made void the law of righteousness by their +traditions, and took the key of knowledge, and used it, not to open, but +to keep shut the door of the kingdom of heaven. + +13. As a reformer, He went to the root of social and political evils, +and sought the reform of laws, institutions, and governments, by +laboring for the instruction and renovation of individuals. + +14. He was patient as well as disinterested. He was willing to sow, and +let others reap; to labor, and let others enjoy the fruits of his +labors. + +15. He formed a Church, employing the social instincts and affections of +His followers as a means of perpetuating and extending His beneficent +influence in the world. + +16. He checked the impertinence, and silenced the vanity of captious +cavillers. + +17. He carried the truth into markets and sea-ports, as well as taught +it in the temple and in the synagogues. + +18. He had the eloquence of silence as well as of speech. + +19. He could suffer as well as labor. He bore reproach and insolence, +and at last laid down His life for mankind. + +20. He could make allowances even for His murderers. When they mocked +Him in His dying agonies, He could say, "Father, forgive them; they know +not what they do." + +He excelled as a teacher. + +1. He was very practical; seeking always to bring men to be merciful, as +their Father in Heaven is merciful. + +2. He was very plain; using the simplest forms of speech, and the most +natural and touching illustrations. + +3. He presented truth and duty in His parables in the most impressive +forms. + +4. His doctrines about God and providence, about duty and immortality, +about right worship and the proper employment of the Sabbath; about true +greatness, and the forgiveness of injuries; about gentleness and +toleration; about meekness and humility; about purity and sincerity, as +well as on a great variety of other subjects, were the perfection of +true philosophy. His parable of the talents, His remarks on the widow +and her two mites, and on the woman and the box of ointment, showing +that nothing is required of us beyond our powers and opportunities, are +striking, instructive, and impressive in the highest degree. + +5. He made it the duty of all whom He taught to instruct others. His +words, "freely ye have received, freely give;" and the sentence, "It is +more blessed to give than to receive," are among the divinest oracles +ever heard on earth. + +6. He illustrated and enforced all His lessons by a consistent example. +He practised what He taught. + +7. And He commanded His disciples to do the same. "Let your light so +shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your +Father which is in heaven." + +8. There can be nothing juster or kinder than His great rule, "All +things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so +unto them." + +9. His doctrine that God will treat men as they treat each other, is +most striking and important. "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall +obtain mercy." "With what judgment ye judge ye shall be judged; and with +what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." "If ye forgive +men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you your +trespasses; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will +your heavenly Father forgive you your trespasses." + +10. His remarks on riches and poverty, on honor and reproach, on +suffering and glory, though regarded by some with shyness and distrust, +contain a world of important truth. + +11. His lessons on spiritual or religious freedom, on self-denial, on +the true mark of discipleship, on the great judgment, on the future of +Christianity, and on the heavenly felicity, are all remarkable for their +wisdom, and for their purifying and ennobling tendency. + +But it would require volumes to do Christ and His doctrine justice. And +I feel as if I were wronging the Saviour to speak of His worth and +doctrine, when I have neither time nor space duly to set forth their +transcendent excellency. Every peculiar trait in His character that I +have named, deserves a treatise to present it in all its importance and +glory; and I, alas, can give but a sentence or two to each.[A] + +But Christ has our devoutest love and gratitude, and our profoundest +reverence. And the more we contemplate Him, the more constrained we feel +to regard Him, not only as the perfection of all human excellence, but +as the revelation and incarnation of the eternal God. And we feel it a +great honor and unspeakable privilege to be permitted to bear His name, +to belong to His party, and to labor in His cause. We are indebted to +Him for everything that gives value to our existence, and we give Him, +in return, with cheerfulness and gladness, our heart, our life, our all. + + Ah, why did I so late Thee know, + Thee, lovelier than the sons of men? + Ah, why did I no sooner go + To Thee, the only ease in pain? + Ashamed I sigh, and inly mourn + That I so late to Thee did turn. + +[A] Since the above was written we have published a book +entitled JESUS: A PORTRAIT. Look at it. + + +CONCLUDING REMARKS. + +1. While the tendency of infidelity is to make men miserable, it is the +tendency of Christianity to make men happy. When I was living at +Burnley, an infidel came to me one morning and said, "Barker, we may say +what we will, but those Ranters, (meaning the Primitive Methodists) are +the happiest men alive. There is one lives next to me, and he sings all +the day long. He gets up singing and goes to bed singing." They _are_ +the happiest men alive. And real Christians of all denominations are +happy. + +2. Some time after my return to Christianity, I spent a few days in the +house of a Primitive Methodist, a farmer, on the Cheshire Hills. I +seemed in Paradise. The master and the mistress were cheerful and kind, +and the daughters and girls were almost continually singing delightful +Christian melodies while busy at their work. One moment they were +singing of a BEAUTIFUL STREAM, and then of a HAPPY LAND. One would +begin, "Jesus, Lover of my soul"--and when that was finished, another +would begin with, "When I can read my title clear, to mansions in the +skies,"--and the singing and the work went on together all the day. It +was heaven. And a thousand such facts might be given. + +3. My own experience is in harmony with these facts. My return to Christ +made me happy beyond measure. It brought me enjoyments, transports, to +which, for years, I had been an utter stranger. The fact is, for a long +time the worth of my life was well-nigh gone. I lived, because I felt I +_ought_ to live, for the sake of those who were dear to me. But for +myself, the light and joy of my life seemed gone for ever. My existence +was a long dark struggle with crushing destiny. Though naturally +hopeful, I was made to feel the bitterness of blank despair. I had +moments of relief, but I had weeks of gloom and despondency. Now all is +changed. I have moments of sadness and depression; but weeks and months +of joy and gladness. I see the universe in an entirely different light. +And instead of murmuring at Nature as cruel, I adore a gracious and +merciful God. Of my errors and misdoings I must always feel ashamed, and +a consciousness of them must for ever tend to make me sad at times; yet +notwithstanding all drawbacks, I have enjoyed more satisfaction, more +real happiness, a hundred times over, during the last twelve months, +than I enjoyed during the whole period of my alienation from God. The +simple-hearted Christian knows what he says, when he tells you "There's +something in religion." It has a power and a blessedness altogether +different from anything else under heaven. Knowledge is sweet, and love +is sweet, and power and victory are sweet; but religion--the religion of +Christ--is sweeter, infinitely sweeter than all. It is the life and +blessedness of the soul. It is its greatness, its strength, its glory: +its joy, its paradise, its heaven. + +4. If the churches abound with defects, the cause is in humanity, and +not in Christianity. Men are not imperfect because they are Christians, +but because they are not Christian enough. The worst men are the +farthest from Christianity, and the best are nearest to it. And the +worst creeds are the least Christian, and the best are the most +Christian. And Christianity is better than the best. There is not a +virtue on earth, nor a truth in the universe, which does not form a +part, or a consistent and fitting appendage, of the Christian system. +The best, the wisest, the noblest man on earth is no better, no wiser, +no nobler, than the teachings of Jesus tend to make the whole human +race. + +5. The influence which Jesus exerted on the world, and the influence +which He is still exerting, is the mightiest and most beneficent ever +experienced by mankind; and the monument which He has raised for +Himself, the Christian Church, with all its institutions, its +literatures, its agencies and achievements is, beyond all comparison, +the grandest, the noblest, and in all respects the most magnificent and +glorious that the history of the world can boast. He has indeed gained +for Himself a name above every name; a glory and a power which have no +equal and no resemblance; and His followers may well adore Him as the +brightness of the Father's glory, and the express image of His love and +majesty. + +6. And what can we do better than chime in with the anthem of His +worshippers? What can we do better than teach His beneficent doctrines, +and follow His glorious example? Talk as we will, the noblest and the +happiest life a man can live is a life of Christian love and +beneficence. And the best association on earth is that which is +organized on the principle of love to Christ, pledged to the +self-sacrificing labors of a wise philanthropy, the work of serving and +blessing mankind. + +7. A belief in Christ gives one a power to do good to mankind which no +skeptic can have. It kindles love, and stimulates to activity, as +nothing else does. And it inspires courage, and produces patience, and +gives comfort under persecution. And it lays on us no unnecessary +restraints. It leaves us free to every good word and to every good work. +And it is friendly to science and to unlimited progress. It offers a +bond of union for all great minds, and for all good hearts. It increases +our power to reform both churches and states, without urging us to wild +and revolutionary measures, which might imperil the interests of both. +To accept this religion, to avow this faith, involves nothing of which +we need be ashamed, but everything in which we may reasonably glory. We +escape alike the follies of theological dreamers, and the gloom and +horrors of infidel philosophy. We live amidst the soft mild glories of +eternal light; we cheer ourselves with the richest and most glorious +hopes, and we spend our lives in the grandest contemplations and the +noblest occupations the heart of man can conceive. + +8. The vainest of all vain things, the most unseemly and revolting of +all forms of pride, is the pride of disbelief in God and immortality. +And the maddest if not the wickedest of all occupations, is to labor to +destroy the faith and blight the hopes of others. What good, humane, or +merciful motive can a man have to impel him to such a horrible +undertaking? + +9. How soothing the thought that your sufferings are marked by a loving +God, and will be overruled for your good! And how cheering the thought, +when life is in danger, or drawing to a close, that death is the gate of +a higher life! And how comforting the thought, when your loved ones are +leaving you, that they are going before you to a happier home, and that +by-and-by you will see their faces, hear their voices, and share their +presence and society again! And what a relief, when visiting the sick, +the sorrowing, or the dying, to be able to speak to them of an infinite +Father, of another life, and of brighter scenes, and of a happier lot, +in a better land! + +10. We have spent time enough among the dead. And you can see with your +own eyes which are the living, loving, and laboring portions of the +Church. You can see which portions build the most schools, teach the +most children, reclaim the most drunkards and profligates, and do most +to develop and cultivate the religious and moral sentiments of the +masses. And one of the lessons we always pressed on you was, to judge a +tree by its fruits. We do not intend to swerve from our plan of avoiding +sectarian and theological controversy; but we may ask you to compare the +amount of good religious work done by the Methodists in fifty years, +with the good done by the so-called liberal Christians, and to draw +your own conclusion. The Primitive Methodists alone, with the smallest +amount of means, have done incalculably more good in fifty years, than +the Unitarians, with unlimited supplies of wealth, and all the +advantages of learning and position, have done in a hundred and fifty +years. We have cast in our lot with the living, working portion of the +Church. It is our home. We had rather be a doorkeeper of the humblest +living, hard-working church in the land, than dwell with the spiritually +dead and cold in the palaces of princes. We will help the men that are +doing the hard and needful work of humanity. If you can see such men as +the Primitive Methodists and the orthodox Churches generally, working as +they _do_ work, and succeeding as they _do_ succeed, and not respect +them and love them, and take part in helping them, you have not the +heart of tenderness and the spirit of Christian manliness for which we +have given you credit. + +11. The influence of Christianity cannot be otherwise than beneficial; +nor is it possible that Christianity should become the ruling power on +earth without greatly abating, if not entirely curing the evils of +humanity, and making mankind as happy as their nature and capacities +admit. + +Imagine Christianity to be received and reduced to practice by all the +people on earth, what would be the result? Disease would gradually +diminish. Nine-tenths of it would quickly disappear; and life would be +both happier and much longer. + +Along with disease would go want, and the fear of want. All would be +well fed, well clad, well housed, and well supplied with all the +necessaries and comforts of life. The world is stored with abundance of +natural wealth. The surface of the earth is vast enough, and its soil is +rich enough, to supply homes and plenty to all its inhabitants, if they +were fifty times as numerous as they are. + +Three or four hours a day would be the utmost length of time that men +would need to labor. The cessation of war would set the soldiers free +for productive employment. The peaceful disposition of the people at +home would allow the police forces to devote themselves to useful labor. +The idle classes would set to work, and the wasteful classes would +become economical. A limit would be fixed to the extravagances of +fashion. Things comely and useful would satisfy the desires of both men +and women. The powers of nature would be pressed more generally into our +service, and compelled to do our drudgery both in the mine and on the +farm. A sense of justice would dispose men to be content with their +share of the blessings of Providence, and Christian generosity would +prompt the rich to supply the wants of the helpless. The dangers of +useful toil would be diminished. The catalogue of mournful accidents in +flood and field, in mines and factories, would be abridged. Oppression +would cease. The wisest and best would be our legislators and rulers. +Patriots, philanthropists, and philosophers would take the place of +selfish politicians. Political trickery would give place to honorable +statesmanship. All cruel forms of servitude would cease. All wicked laws +would be abolished. All needless burdens would be removed from the backs +of the people. All would be well taught. All dreams of impossible +equality, and all thoughts of violent and bloody revolutions, would pass +away. Vice and crime would disappear, with all the tortures both of mind +and body which they occasion. Commerce would flourish. All nations would +freely and lovingly exchange their surplus products. All classes would +deal with each other honorably. Each one would do to others as he would +that others should do to him. No one would suffer from fraud, or from +the fear of fraud. Trade would be a mutual exchange of benefits. +Business would be a pleasant pastime, gainful to all, and ruinous to +none. + +Marriage would be universal, and would prove in every case a comfort and +a blessing. The family circle would be the abode of love, and peace, and +joy. Each home would be a little heaven. Children would be wisely +trained and carefully nurtured in knowledge and piety. The virtues and +the graces would adorn their lives from youth to age. All talent and +skill, the powers of eloquence and of poetry, the influences of music +and of song, and all the powers of art would serve the cause of truth +and virtue, of religion and humanity. + +Superstition would die. Unnatural conceptions of God, and cruel, +wasteful, and useless forms of worship, would give place to faith in a +God of light and love, of wisdom and of purity, and to a spiritual, +rational, and rapturous kind of devotion. All ignorant dread of natural +phenomena would give place to joyous and loving admiration, and to +devoutest adoration, of the great eternal Ruler of the world. If +calamities came they would be accepted as divine appointments, as +needful means of everlasting good. Death would lose its terrors. Belief +in a blessed immortality would enable us to pass from earth in peace and +joy. Bereavements would be less distressing. The departure of our +friends would be but a transition to a better state of being. + +The world itself would change. Its beauties would become more beautiful; +its glories would become more glorious, and all its joys and pleasures +would be more transporting. The eye, the ear, the taste, the smell would +all become the inlets of more and richer enjoyments. Science and +literature in their divinest forms would become the common lot of our +race. The glory of God's character and the brightness of the eternal +future, would shed unwonted radiance over the present life, and make it +rapturous, glorious, and divine. The religion of Christ, while raising +men to heaven, would bring down heaven to earth. + +On the other hand, the want of trust in God and of a hope of immortality +tends to darken earth, and to embitter life. When men are severed from +God and Christ, they suffer loss both in character and enjoyment. We can +speak from experience. We never ruined our health by vicious indulgence. +We never became the slave of intemperance or licentiousness. We never +dishonored our family, or lost the love and confidence of our wife and +children. But we lost our trust in God, and our hope of immortality. And +the heavens above grew dark, and the earth became a desolation. Life +lost its value, and sorrow its consolation; and many and many a time we +wished that we had never been born. For hours have we trod the earth +with heavy heart and downcast eyes, groaning beneath a weight of sadness +indescribable. Loss of faith in Christ, even with men of a naturally +cheerful and hopeful spirit, renders life a burden too heavy to be +borne. Hence for years before we fully regained our own faith in +Christianity, we encouraged others to cherish theirs. An infidel once +said, that the Christian's hope, if false, was worth all this world's +best truths; and we felt the truth of the remark, and shrank from +attempts to take from men the inestimable treasure. And now we would +rather die than shake or undermine the faith of any Christian soul on +earth. To the work of cherishing a belief in Christ in our own heart, +and nurturing it in the hearts of others, we consecrate our life, our +all. We would rather live on a crust, in a mud hut, with faith in God +and Christ, than feast on all the dainties of the earth, in the palace +of a king, with the hopelessness and gloom of the Atheist. + +We have no disposition to exaggerate; but we are constrained to say, +that if all the wisdom and all the virtue on earth had dwelt in one man, +and if that one man had presented a revelation of God with a view to +supply the strongest, the mightiest, the most touching, the most tender, +the most varied, and the most irresistible inducements to renounce all +selfishness and sin, and to live a pure and godly, a holy and a useful, +a divine and glorious life, that revelation could have assumed no +better, no more perfect or effective form, than that which is presented +in the revelation of God by Jesus Christ. We feel, while we contemplate +it, that it can have no fitter or truer name than that bestowed on it by +the Apostles, 'The power of God to salvation to every one that +believeth.' And we are reminded of the words, 'We all, with open face +beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same +image from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord.' + +Of course the destruction of this belief can operate no otherwise than +as an encouragement to evil, and a discouragement to good. The loss of +Christian belief in God can be to the virtues and the graces of the +heart and life, but as a blight to plants and flowers. The Christian +belief makes it summer to the soul, giving birth, and power, and full +development to all that is godlike and glorious in human character. The +loss of that belief is winter to the soul; killing with its frosts each +form of life and beauty, and making all a waste and desolation. + +There have been three great disbelievers in God in our own country +during the present century, all of whom have written books denouncing +marriage, and counselling unbounded sensual license. If their counsels +were generally taken, the result would be a state of society as horrible +as that portrayed in the beginning of Paul's Epistle to the Romans, and +a return to faith in God alone could save the race of man from utter +extinction. But we will not dwell on this dreadful side of the subject. +We know the effects of the light and warmth of the sun; and we may +safely be left to infer the horror, the misery, the world-wide ruin, and +the utter dreariness and desolation that would follow if the orb of day +were extinguished, or for ever and utterly withdrawn. Religion is the +sun of the spiritual world; it is its light and life, its joy and +blessedness; and its extinction would be the death and destruction of +our race. + +While belief in God is favorable to virtue generally, it tends also to +produce displays of superior excellence; of unusual courage, +perseverance, and endurance. The believer in God may brave the most +appalling dangers. His feeling is, that he who is for him is greater +than all that can be against him. It is no vain boast in him to say, 'I +fear God, and know no other fear.' It is natural that he should say, +when threatened by mistaken or malignant men, 'You may kill me, but you +cannot hurt me.' The Christian believer can afford to be a martyr. When +excited by ungodly or inhuman opposition, he naturally displays the +martyr's courage. He can bear too to suffer disrepute. He can trust his +reputation to his omniscient and almighty Friend. He can bear to look +with patience both on the adversity of the good, and the prosperity of +the bad. He knows the fate,--he sees the end,--of both. The Judge of all +the earth will do right. He knows no evil but sin. He knows no security +but righteousness. + +And Christian faith is a fountain of all conceivable _comfort_. It is a +comfort to feel secure. It is a comfort to feel strong. It is a comfort +to feel assured that we are beloved of God. It is a comfort to feel that +we love Him in return. It is a comfort to believe that the universe has +a Head, a Lord, a Ruler. It is a comfort to believe that we are not +orphans, fatherless inhabitants of a Godless world. There is pleasure in +admiration and reverence. There is pleasure in feelings of gratitude. +There is a pleasure in tracing the wonders and beauties of creation to a +living, loving Creator. It adds to the pleasure of science to believe, +that behind the wonderful phenomena which we behold, there is a Great +Unseen from whose all-loving heart they all proceed. It is a pleasure to +believe that our ways are ordered by infinite wisdom. It is a pleasure +to believe that our sorrows are known to an almighty sympathizing +Friend. It is a pleasure to believe that our kindred and friends have a +helper greater than ourselves. It is a pleasure to believe that our lot +is appointed by an infinite Father; that we shall not be permitted to be +tried beyond our strength; that in every temptation, a way will be made +for our escape; that nothing can harm us, however painful; that nothing +can destroy us, however terrible; that all things work together for our +good. In short, there is no end to the strength which a Christian belief +in God is calculated to give to our virtue, or to the consolation which +it is calculated to impart to our souls. + +But what can be sadder than to be without God, and without hope, in a +world like this? With all our science how little we know! How terrible +the thought that we have no unerring guide! With all our powers how +feeble we are! How terrible the thought that we have no almighty friend! +And vast and numberless as are the provisions that are made for our +happiness, how often we are thwarted, how prone we are, even in the +midst of plenty, to be dissatisfied; and how soon we may perish! And how +sad the thought that there is no restorer! Is it strange that, when +faith in God is lost, the value of life is felt to be gone? + +We have no harsh word for the doubter or the disbeliever, but we raise +our warning voice against the dangers which beset the way of youth, and +counsel all to consider well their steps. 'There are ways which at times +seem right unto men, but the end thereof is death.' 'The fear of the +Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and to depart from evil is +understanding.' Science has advanced; arts have multiplied; governments +have changed; and many are tempted to believe that the principles of +religion and virtue are exploded. But woe to the man that yields to the +temptation. His days shall be darkened with grief; and his heart +distracted with horror. But peace and purity and joy shall be the lot of +the faithful Christian. The light of life shall shine upon his path. The +wisdom of the Holy One shall be his guide; and, living and dying, he +shall be secure. + +12. The Christian has the highest, the happiest employment. He works in +the spirit of eternal love. He works for the highest and the holiest +ends. And he works in hope. He sees the harvest in the ploughing of the +field, the coming crop in the scattered seed. The result of his labors +may come slowly, but he can afford to wait. The Lord reigneth; and the +plans of His eternal love can never fail. + +And all things rich and beautiful are his. The earth and its fulness are +his. The heavens and their glories are his. All sights of beauty, all +sounds of melody, all emotions of wonder, all transports of delight are +his. There are no forms, no elements of bliss from which he is excluded. +All the innocent pleasures of sense, all that can delight the soul +through the eye, the ear, the taste, or the feelings; all that is rich +in art; all that is rapturous in song; all the pleasures of science and +literature, all are his. + +And all earth's blessings, all pure and harmless pleasures, he can enjoy +more truly and more fully than other men. While his faith in God gives +greater beauty and glory to the universe, his hope of immortality gives +greater sweetness to his earthly life. The brightness of the eternal +world throws a celestial radiance over the present, and gives to earth a +portion of the blessedness of heaven. + + +A FEW TESTIMONIES OF GREAT MEN IN FAVOR OF CHRISTIANITY. + +We live in the midst of blessings, till we are utterly insensible of +their greatness, and of the source from which they flow. We speak of our +civilization, our arts, our freedom, our laws, and forget entirely how +large a share of all is due to Christianity.--_Coleridge._ + +There never was found in any age of the world, either philosopher or +sect, or law or discipline, which did so highly exalt the public good as +the Christian faith.--_Bacon._ + +As the man of pleasure, by a vain attempt to be more happy than any man +can be, is often more miserable than most men are; so the skeptic, in a +vain attempt to be wise beyond what is permitted to man, plunges into a +darkness more deplorable than that of the common herd.--_Colton._ + +Since the introduction of Christianity, human nature has made great +progress; but it has not got in advance of Christianity. Men have +outgrown other institutions and systems, but they may grow for ever and +not outgrow Christianity.--_Channing._ + +I have lived long enough to know what I did not at one time +believe--that no society can be upheld in happiness and honor without +the sentiment of religion.--_La Place._ + +It is heaven on earth to have one's mind to move in charity, to rest on +Providence, and follow truth.--_Bacon._ + +Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, +religion and morality are most essential. In vain would that man claim +the tribute of patriotism, who should labor to destroy those great +pillars of human happiness; these firmest props of virtue. And let us +not suppose that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever +may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of +peculiar structure, reason and experience both forbid us to expect +national morality to prevail in the absence of religious +principle.--_Washington._ + +I have carefully and regularly perused these Holy Scriptures, and am of +opinion, that the volume, independently of its divine origin, contains +more sublimity, purer morality, more important history, and finer +strains of eloquence, than can be collected from all other books, in +whatever language they may have been written.--_Sir William Jones._ + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MODERN SKEPTICISM: A JOURNEY THROUGH +THE LAND OF DOUBT AND BACK AGAIN*** + + +******* This file should be named 18675-8.txt or 18675-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/8/6/7/18675 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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