112 files changed, 2674 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/1867-h/1867-h.htm b/1867-h/1867-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..822a1d5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/1867-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,2674 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html
+     PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
+     "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII" />
+<title>The Diary of a Goose Girl</title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+/*<![CDATA[  XML blockout */
+<!--
+    P {  margin-top: .75em;
+         margin-bottom: .75em;
+         }
+    H1, H2 {
+         text-align: center;
+		margin-top: 2em;
+		margin-bottom: 2em;
+         }
+    H3, H4 {
+	text-align: left;
+	margin-top: 1em;
+	margin-bottom: 1em;
+	}
+    BODY{margin-left: 10%;
+         margin-right: 10%;
+        }
+    TD { vertical-align: top; }
+    .blkquot  {margin-left: 4em; margin-right: 4em;} /* block indent */
+
+    .smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+
+    .pagenum {position: absolute;
+               left: 92%;
+               font-size: smaller;
+               text-align: right;
+               color: gray;}
+
+    .citation {vertical-align: super;
+               font-size: .8em;
+               text-decoration: none;}
+    // -->
+    /* XML end  ]]>*/
+    </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+<h2>
+<a href="#startoftext">The Diary of a Goose Girl, by Kate Douglas Smith Wiggin</a>
+</h2>
+<pre>
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Diary of a Goose Girl, by Kate Douglas
+Smith Wiggin, Illustrated by Claude A. Shepperson
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Diary of a Goose Girl
+
+
+Author: Kate Douglas Smith Wiggin
+
+
+
+Release Date: May 15, 2007  [eBook #1867]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DIARY OF A GOOSE GIRL***
+</pre>
+<p><a name="startoftext"></a></p>
+<p>Transcribed from the 1902 Gay and Bird edition by David Price,
+email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/coverb.jpg">
+<img alt="Book cover" src="images/covers.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<h1>THE DIARY OF A GOOSE GIRL</h1>
+<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">by</span><br />
+KATE DOUGLAS WIGGIN</p>
+<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">with 
+illustrations by</span><br />
+CLAUDE A. SHEPPERSON</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">GAY AND BIRD<br />
+<span class="smcap">22 bedford street</span>, <span 
+class="smcap">strand</span><br />
+LONDON<br />
+1902</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p01b.jpg">
+<img alt="I looked about me with what Stevenson calls a 
+&lsquo;fine dizzy, muddle-headed job&rsquo;" 
+src="images/p01s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: center">TO THE HENS, DUCKS, AND GEESE<br />
+WHO SO KINDLY GAVE ME<br />
+SITTINGS FOR THESE<br />
+SKETCHES THE BOOK<br />
+IS GRATEFULLY<br />
+INSCRIBED</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER I.</h2>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p1ab.jpg">
+<img alt="Thornycroft House" src="images/p1as.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Thornycroft 
+Farm</span>, near Barbury Green, July 1, 190-.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p1b.jpg">
+<img alt="Picture of woman and goose" src="images/p1b.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>In alluding to myself as a Goose Girl, I am using only the 
+most modest of my titles; for I am also a poultry-maid, a tender 
+of Belgian hares and rabbits, and a shepherdess; but I 
+particularly fancy the r&ocirc;le of Goose Girl, because it 
+recalls the German fairy tales of my early youth, when I always 
+yearned, but never hoped, to be precisely what I now am.</p>
+<p>As I was jolting along these charming Sussex roads the other 
+day, a fat buff pony and a tippy cart being my manner of 
+progression, I chanced upon the village of Barbury Green.</p>
+<p>One glance was enough for any woman, who, having eyes to see, 
+could see with them; but I made assurance doubly sure by driving 
+about a little, struggling to conceal my new-born passion from 
+the stable-boy who was my escort.&nbsp; Then, it being high noon 
+of a cloudless day, I descended from the trap and said to the 
+astonished yokel: &ldquo;You may go back to the Hydropathic; I am
+spending a month or two here.&nbsp; Wait a 
+moment&mdash;I&rsquo;ll send a message, please!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I then scribbled a word or two to those having me in 
+custody.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I am very tired of people,&rdquo; the note ran, 
+&ldquo;and want to rest myself by living a while with 
+things.&nbsp; Address me (if you must) at Barbury Green 
+post-office, or at all events send me a box of simple clothing 
+there&mdash;nothing but shirts and skirts, please.&nbsp; I cannot
+forget that I am only twenty miles from Oxenbridge (though it 
+might be one hundred and twenty, which is the reason I adore it),
+but I rely upon you to keep an honourable distance yourselves, 
+and not to divulge my place of retreat to others, especially 
+to&mdash;you know whom!&nbsp; Do not pursue me.&nbsp; I will 
+never be taken alive!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Having cut, thus, the cable that bound me to civilisation, and
+having seen the buff pony and the dazed yokel disappear in a 
+cloud of dust, I looked about me with what Stevenson calls a 
+&ldquo;fine, dizzy, muddle-headed joy,&rdquo; the joy of a 
+successful rebel or a liberated serf.&nbsp; Plenty of money in my
+purse&mdash;that was unromantic, of course, but it simplified 
+matters&mdash;and nine hours of daylight remaining in which to 
+find a lodging.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p3b.jpg">
+<img alt="Life converges there, just at the public duck-pond" 
+src="images/p3s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The village is one of the oldest, and I am sure it must be one
+of the quaintest, in England.&nbsp; It is too small to be printed
+on the map (an honour that has spoiled more than one Arcadia), so
+pray do not look there, but just believe in it, and some day you 
+may be rewarded by driving into it by chance, as I did, and feel 
+the same Columbus thrill running, like an electric current, 
+through your veins.&nbsp; I withhold specific geographical 
+information in order that you may not miss that Columbus thrill, 
+which comes too seldom in a world of railroads.</p>
+<p>The Green is in the very centre of Barbury village, and all 
+civic, political, family, and social life converges there, just 
+at the public duck-pond&mdash;a wee, sleepy lake with a slope of 
+grass-covered stones by which the ducks descend for their 
+swim.</p>
+<p>The houses are set about the Green like those in a toy 
+village.&nbsp; They are of old brick, with crumpled, up-and-down 
+roofs of deep-toned red, and tufts of stonecrop growing from the 
+eaves.&nbsp; Diamond-paned windows, half open, admit the sweet 
+summer air; and as for the gardens in front, it would seem as if 
+the inhabitants had nothing to do but work in them, there is such
+a riotous profusion of colour and bloom.&nbsp; To add to the 
+effect, there are always pots of flowers hanging from the trees, 
+blue flax and yellow myrtle; and cages of Java sparrows and 
+canaries singing joyously, as well they may in such a 
+paradise.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p5b.jpg">
+<img alt="The houses are set about the Green" 
+src="images/p5s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The shops are idyllic, too, as if Nature had seized even the 
+man of trade and made him subservient to her designs.&nbsp; The 
+general draper&rsquo;s, where I fitted myself out for a day or 
+two quite easily, is set back in a tangle of poppies and sweet 
+peas, Madonna lilies and Canterbury bells.&nbsp; The shop itself 
+has a gay awning, and what do you think the draper has suspended 
+from it, just as a picturesque suggestion to the passer-by?&nbsp;
+Suggestion I call it, because I should blush to use the word 
+advertisement in describing anything so dainty and 
+decorative.&nbsp; Well, then, garlands of shoes, if you 
+please!&nbsp; Baby bootlets of bronze; tiny ankle-ties in yellow,
+blue, and scarlet kid; glossy patent-leather pumps shining in the
+sun, with festoons of slippers at the corners, flowery slippers 
+in imitation Berlin wool-work.&nbsp; If you make this picture in 
+your mind&rsquo;s-eye, just add a window above the awning, and 
+over the fringe of marigolds in the window-box put the 
+draper&rsquo;s wife dancing a rosy-cheeked baby.&nbsp; Alas! my 
+words are only black and white, I fear, and this picture needs a 
+palette drenched in primary colours.</p>
+<p>Along the street, a short distance, is the old 
+watchmaker&rsquo;s.&nbsp; Set in the hedge at the gate is a glass
+case with <i>Multum in Parvo</i> painted on the woodwork.&nbsp; 
+Within, a little stand of trinkets revolves slowly; as slowly, I 
+imagine, as the current of business in that quiet street.&nbsp; 
+The house stands a trifle back and is covered thickly with ivy, 
+while over the entrance-door of the shop is a great round clock 
+set in a green frame of clustering vine.&nbsp; The hands pointed 
+to one when I passed the watchmaker&rsquo;s garden with its 
+thicket of fragrant lavender and its murmuring bees; so I went in
+to the sign of the &ldquo;Strong i&rsquo; the Arm&rdquo; for some
+cold luncheon, determining to patronise &ldquo;The Running 
+Footman&rdquo; at the very next opportunity.&nbsp; Neither of 
+these inns is starred by Baedeker, and this fact adds the last 
+touch of enchantment to the picture.</p>
+<p>The landlady at the &ldquo;Strong i&rsquo; the Arm&rdquo; 
+stabbed me in the heart by telling me that there were no 
+apartments to let in the village, and that she had no private 
+sitting-room in the inn; but she speedily healed the wound by 
+saying that I might be accommodated at one of the farm-houses in 
+the vicinity.&nbsp; Did I object to a farm-&rsquo;ouse?&nbsp; 
+Then she could cheerfully recommend the Evan&rsquo;s farm, only 
+&rsquo;alf a mile away.&nbsp; She &rsquo;ad understood from Miss 
+Ph&oelig;be Evan, who sold her poultry, that they would take one 
+lady lodger if she didn&rsquo;t wish much waiting upon.</p>
+<p>In my present mood I was in search of the strenuous life, and 
+eager to wait, rather than to be waited upon; so I walked along 
+the edge of the Green, wishing that some mentally unbalanced 
+householder would take a sudden fancy to me and ask me to come in
+and lodge awhile.&nbsp; I suppose these families live under their
+roofs of peach-blow tiles, in the midst of their blooming 
+gardens, for a guinea a week or thereabouts; yet if they 
+&ldquo;undertook&rdquo; me (to use their own phrase), the bill 
+for my humble meals and bed would be at least double that.&nbsp; 
+I don&rsquo;t know that I blame them; one should have proper 
+compensation for admitting a world-stained lodger into such an 
+Eden.</p>
+<p>When I was searching for rooms a week ago, I chanced upon a 
+pretty cottage where the woman had sometimes let 
+apartments.&nbsp; She showed me the premises and asked me if I 
+would mind taking my meals in her own dining-room, where I could 
+be served privately at certain hours: and, since she had but the 
+one sitting-room, would I allow her to go on using it 
+occasionally? also, if I had no special preference, would I take 
+the second-sized bedroom and leave her in possession of the 
+largest one, which permitted her to have the baby&rsquo;s crib by
+her bedside?&nbsp; She thought I should be quite as comfortable, 
+and it was her opinion that in making arrangements with lodgers, 
+it was a good plan not to &ldquo;bryke up the &rsquo;ome any more
+than was necessary.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Bryke up the &rsquo;ome!&rdquo;&nbsp; That is seemingly
+the malignant purpose with which I entered Barbury Green.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER II</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 4th.</p>
+<p>Enter the family of Thornycroft Farm, of which I am already a 
+member in good and regular standing.</p>
+<p>I introduce Mrs. Heaven first, for she is a self-saturated 
+person who would never forgive the insult should she receive any 
+lower place.</p>
+<p>She welcomed me with the statement: &ldquo;We do not take 
+lodgers here, nor boarders; no lodgers, nor boarders, but we do 
+occasionally admit paying guests, those who look as if they would
+appreciate the quietude of the plyce and be willing as you might 
+say to remunerate according.&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p10b.jpg">
+<img alt="Mrs. Heaven" src="images/p10s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>I did not mind at this particular juncture what I was called, 
+so long as the epithet was comparatively unobjectionable, so I am
+a paying guest, therefore, and I expect to pay handsomely for the
+handsome appellation.&nbsp; Mrs. Heaven is short and fat; she 
+fills her dress as a pin-cushion fills its cover; she wears a cap
+and apron, and she is so full of platitudes that she would have 
+burst had I not appeared as a providential outlet for them.&nbsp;
+Her accent is not of the farm, but of the town, and smacks wholly
+of the marts of trade.&nbsp; She is repetitious, too, as well as 
+platitudinous.&nbsp; &ldquo;I &rsquo;ope if there&rsquo;s 
+anythink you require you will let us know, let us know,&rdquo; 
+she says several times each day; and whenever she enters my 
+sitting-room she prefaces her conversation with the remark: 
+&ldquo;I trust you are finding it quiet here, miss?&nbsp; 
+It&rsquo;s the quietude of the plyce that is its charm, yes, the 
+quietude.&nbsp; And yet&rdquo; (she dribbles on) &ldquo;it wears 
+on a body after a while, miss.&nbsp; I often go into Woodmucket 
+to visit one of my sons just for the noise, simply for the noise,
+miss, for nothink else in the world but the noise.&nbsp; 
+There&rsquo;s nothink like noise for soothing nerves that is worn
+threadbare with the quietude, miss, or at least that&rsquo;s my 
+experience; and yet to a strynger the quietude of the plyce is 
+its charm, undoubtedly its chief charm; and that is what our 
+paying guests always say, although our charges are somewhat 
+higher than other plyces.&nbsp; If there&rsquo;s anythink you 
+require, miss, I &rsquo;ope you&rsquo;ll mention it.&nbsp; There 
+is not a commodious assortment in Barbury Green, but we can 
+always send the pony to Woodmucket in case of urgency.&nbsp; Our 
+paying guest last summer was a Mrs. Pollock, and she was by way 
+of having sudden fancies.&nbsp; Young and unmarried though you 
+are, miss, I think you will tyke my meaning without my speaking 
+plyner?&nbsp; Well, at six o&rsquo;clock of a rainy afternoon, 
+she was seized with an unaccountable desire for vegetable 
+marrows, and Mr. &rsquo;Eaven put the pony in the cart and went 
+to Woodmucket for them, which is a great advantage to be so near 
+a town and yet &rsquo;ave the quietude.&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p11b.jpg">
+<img alt="Mr. Heaven" src="images/p11s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Mr. Heaven is merged, like Mr. Jellyby, in the more shining 
+qualities of his wife.&nbsp; A line of description is too long 
+for him.&nbsp; Indeed, I can think of no single word brief 
+enough, at least in English.&nbsp; The Latin &ldquo;nil&rdquo; 
+will do, since no language is rich in words of less than three 
+letters.&nbsp; He is nice, kind, bald, timid, thin, and so 
+colourless that he can scarcely be discerned save in a strong 
+light.&nbsp; When Mrs. Heaven goes out into the orchard in search
+of him, I can hardly help calling from my window, &ldquo;Bear a 
+trifle to the right, Mrs. Heaven&mdash;now to the left&mdash;just
+in front of you now&mdash;if you put out your hands you will 
+touch him.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be, aged seventeen, is the daughter of the 
+house.&nbsp; She is virtuous, industrious, conscientious, and 
+singularly destitute of physical charm.&nbsp; She is more than 
+plain; she looks as if she had been planned without any definite 
+purpose in view, made of the wrong materials, been badly put 
+together, and never properly finished off; but 
+&ldquo;plain&rdquo; after all is a relative word.&nbsp; Many a 
+plain girl has been married for her beauty; and now and then a 
+beauty, falling under a cold eye, has been thought plain.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be has her compensations, for she is beloved by, and 
+reciprocates the passion of, the Woodmancote carrier, Woodmucket 
+being the English manner of pronouncing the place of his 
+abode.&nbsp; If he &ldquo;carries&rdquo; as energetically for the
+great public as he fetches for Ph&oelig;be, then he must be a 
+rising and a prosperous man.&nbsp; He brings her daily, wild 
+strawberries, cherries, birds&rsquo; nests, peacock feathers, 
+sea-shells, green hazel-nuts, samples of hens&rsquo; food, or 
+bouquets of wilted field flowers tied together tightly and held 
+with a large, moist, loving hand.&nbsp; He has fine curly hair of
+sandy hue, which forms an aureole on his brow, and a reddish 
+beard, which makes another inverted aureole to match, round his 
+chin.&nbsp; One cannot look at him, especially when the sun 
+shines through him, without thinking how lovely he would be if 
+stuffed and set on wheels, with a little string to drag him 
+about.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p13b.jpg">
+<img alt="The Woodmancote carrier" src="images/p13s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be confided to me that she was on the eve of loving 
+the postman when the carrier came across her horizon.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;It doesn&rsquo;t do to be too hysty, does it, 
+miss?&rdquo; she asked me as we were weeding the onion bed.&nbsp;
+&ldquo;I was to give the postman his answer on the Monday night, 
+and it was on the Monday morning that Mr. Gladwish made his first
+trip here as carrier.&nbsp; I may say I never wyvered from that 
+moment, and no more did he.&nbsp; When I think how near I came to
+promising the postman it gives me a turn.&rdquo;&nbsp; (I can 
+understand that, for I once met the man I nearly promised years 
+before to marry, and we both experienced such a sense of relief 
+at being free instead of bound that we came near falling in love 
+for sheer joy.)</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p14.jpg">
+<img alt="Picture of toy on wheels" src="images/p14.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The last and most important member of the household is the 
+Square Baby.&nbsp; His name is Albert Edward, and he is really 
+five years old and no baby at all; but his appearance on this 
+planet was in the nature of a complete surprise to all parties 
+concerned, and he is spoiled accordingly.&nbsp; He has a square 
+head and jaw, square shoulders, square hands and feet.&nbsp; He 
+is red and white and solid and stolid and slow-witted, as the 
+young of his class commonly are, and will make a bulwark of the 
+nation in course of time, I should think; for England has to 
+produce a few thousand such square babies every year for use in 
+the colonies and in the standing army.&nbsp; Albert Edward has 
+already a military gait, and when he has acquired a habit of 
+obedience at all comparable with his power of command, he will be
+able to take up the white man&rsquo;s burden with distinguished 
+success.&nbsp; Meantime I can never look at him without 
+marvelling how the English climate can transmute bacon and eggs, 
+tea and the solid household loaf into such radiant roses and 
+lilies as bloom upon his cheeks and lips.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER III</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 8th.</p>
+<p>Thornycroft is by way of being a small poultry farm.</p>
+<p>In reaching it from Barbury Green, you take the first 
+left-hand road, go till you drop, and there you are.</p>
+<p>It reminds me of my &ldquo;grandmother&rsquo;s farm at 
+Older.&rdquo;&nbsp; Did you know the song when you were a 
+child?&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>My grandmother had a very fine farm<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; &lsquo;Way down in the fields of Older.<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; With a cluck-cluck here,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And a cluck-cluck there,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Here and there a cluck-cluck,<br 
+/>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Cluck-cluck here and there,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Down in the fields at Older.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>It goes on for ever by the simple subterfuge of changing a few
+words in each verse.</p>
+<blockquote><p>My grandmother had a very fine farm<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; &lsquo;Way down in the fields of Older.<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; With a quack-quack here,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And a quack-quack there,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Here and there a quack-quack,<br 
+/>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Quack-quack here and there,<br />
+&nbsp;&nbsp; Down in the fields at Older.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>This is followed by the gobble-gobble, moo-moo, baa-baa, etc.,
+as long as the laureate&rsquo;s imagination and the 
+infant&rsquo;s breath hold good.&nbsp; The tune is pretty, and I 
+do not know, or did not, when I was young, a more fascinating 
+lyric.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p17b.jpg">
+<img alt="The sitting hens" src="images/p17s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Thornycroft House must have belonged to a country gentleman 
+once upon a time, or to more than one; men who built on a bit 
+here and there once in a hundred years, until finally we have 
+this charmingly irregular and dilapidated whole.&nbsp; You go up 
+three steps into Mrs. Heaven&rsquo;s room, down two into mine, 
+while Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s is up in a sort of turret with long, 
+narrow lattices opening into the creepers.&nbsp; There are 
+crooked little stair-cases, passages that branch off into other 
+passages and lead nowhere in particular; I can&rsquo;t think of a
+better house in which to play hide and seek on a wet day.&nbsp; 
+In front, what was once, doubtless, a green, is cut up into 
+greens; to wit, a vegetable garden, where the onions, turnips, 
+and potatoes grow cosily up to the very door-sill; the 
+utilitarian aspect of it all being varied by some scarlet-runners
+and a scattering of poppies on either side of the path.</p>
+<p>The Belgian hares have their habitation in a corner fifty feet
+distant; one large enclosure for poultry lies just outside the 
+sweetbrier hedge; the others, with all the houses and coops, are 
+in the meadow at the back, where also our tumbler pigeons are 
+kept.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be attends to the poultry; it is her 
+department.&nbsp; Mr. Heaven has neither the force nor the 
+<i>finesse</i> required, and the gentle reader who thinks these 
+qualities unneeded in so humble a calling has only to spend a few
+days at Thornycroft to be convinced.&nbsp; Mrs. Heaven would be 
+of use, but she is dressing the Square Baby in the morning and 
+putting him to bed at night just at the hours when the feathered 
+young things are undergoing the same operation.</p>
+<p>A Goose Girl, like a poet, is sometimes born, sometimes 
+otherwise.&nbsp; I am of the born variety.&nbsp; No training was 
+necessary; I put my head on my pillow as a complicated product of
+modern civilisation on a Tuesday night, and on a Wednesday 
+morning I awoke as a Goose Girl.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p19b.jpg">
+<img alt="Hens . . . go to bed at a virtuous hour" 
+src="images/p19s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>My destiny slumbered during the day, but at eight 
+o&rsquo;clock I heard a terrific squawking in the direction of 
+the duck-ponds, and, aimlessly drifting in that direction, I came
+upon Ph&oelig;be trying to induce ducks and drakes, geese and 
+ganders, to retire for the night.&nbsp; They have to be driven 
+into enclosures behind fences of wire netting, fastened into 
+little rat-proof boxes, or shut into separate coops, so as to be 
+safe from their natural enemies, the rats and foxes; which, 
+obeying, I suppose, the law of supply and demand, abound in this 
+neighbourhood.&nbsp; The old ganders are allowed their liberty, 
+being of such age, discretion, sagacity, and pugnacity that they 
+can be trusted to fight their own battles.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p20b.jpg">
+<img alt="Ducks and geese . . . would roam the streets till 
+morning" src="images/p20s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The intelligence of hens, though modest, is of such an order 
+that it prompts them to go to bed at a virtuous hour of their own
+accord; but ducks and geese have to be materially assisted, or I 
+believe they would roam till morning.&nbsp; Never did small boy 
+detest and resist being carried off to his nursery as these 
+dullards, young and old, detest and resist being driven to 
+theirs.&nbsp; Whether they suffer from insomnia, or nightmare, or
+whether they simply prefer the sweet air of liberty (and death) 
+to the odour of captivity and the coop, I have no means of 
+knowing.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p21b.jpg">
+<img alt="The pole was not long enough" src="images/p21s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be stood by one of the duck-ponds, a long pole in her
+hand, and a helpless expression in that doughlike countenance of 
+hers, where aimless contours and features unite to make a kind of
+facial blur.&nbsp; (What does the carrier see in it?)&nbsp; The 
+pole was not long enough to reach the ducks, and 
+Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s method lacked spirit and adroitness, so that 
+it was natural, perhaps, that they refused to leave the water, 
+the evening being warm, with an uncommon fine sunset.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p22.jpg">
+<img alt="They . . . waddle under the wrong fence" 
+src="images/p22.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>I saw the situation at once and ran to meet it with a glow of 
+interest and anticipation.&nbsp; If there is anything in the 
+world I enjoy, it is making somebody do something that he 
+doesn&rsquo;t want to do; and if, when victory perches upon my 
+banner, the somebody can be brought to say that he ought to have 
+done it without my making him, that adds the unforgettable touch 
+to pleasure, though seldom, alas! does it happen.&nbsp; Then 
+ensued the delightful and stimulating hour that has now become a 
+feature of the day; an hour in which the remembrance of the 
+table-d&rsquo;h&ocirc;te dinner at the Hydro, going on at 
+identically the same time, only stirs me to a keener joy and 
+gratitude.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p23.jpg">
+<img alt="Honking and hissing like a bewildered orchestra" 
+src="images/p23.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p24b.jpg">
+<img alt="Harried and pecked by the big geese" 
+src="images/p24s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The ducks swim round in circles, hide under the willows, and 
+attempt to creep into the rat-holes in the banks, a stupidity so 
+crass that it merits instant death, which it somehow always 
+escapes.&nbsp; Then they come out in couples and waddle under the
+wrong fence into the lower meadow, fly madly under the 
+tool-house, pitch blindly in with the sitting hens, and out again
+in short order, all the time quacking and squawking, honking and 
+hissing like a bewildered orchestra.&nbsp; By dint of splashing 
+the water with poles, throwing pebbles, beating the shrubs at the
+pond&rsquo;s edges, &ldquo;shooing&rdquo; frantically with our 
+skirts, crawling beneath bars to head them off, and prodding them
+from under bushes to urge them on, we finally get the older ones 
+out of the water and the younger ones into some sort of relation 
+to their various retreats; but, owing to their lack of geography,
+hatred of home, and general recalcitrancy, they none of them turn
+up in the right place and have to be sorted out.&nbsp; We uncover
+the top of the little house, or the enclosure as it may be, or 
+reach in at the door, and, seizing the struggling victim, drag 
+him forth and take him where he should have had the wit to go in 
+the first instance.&nbsp; The weak ones get in with the strong 
+and are in danger of being trampled; two May goslings that look 
+almost full-grown have run into a house with a brood of ducklings
+a week old.&nbsp; There are twenty-seven crowded into one coop, 
+five in another, nineteen in another; the gosling with one leg 
+has to come out, and the duckling threatened with the gapes; 
+their place is with the &ldquo;invaleeds,&rdquo; as Ph&oelig;be 
+calls them, but they never learn the location of the hospital, 
+nor have the slightest scruple about spreading contagious 
+diseases.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p25b.jpg">
+<img alt="In solitary splendour" src="images/p25s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Finally, when we have separated and sorted exhaustively, an 
+operation in which Ph&oelig;be shows a delicacy of discrimination
+and a fearlessness of attack amounting to genius, we count the 
+entire number and find several missing.&nbsp; Searching for their
+animate or inanimate bodies, we &ldquo;scoop&rdquo; one from 
+under the tool-house, chance upon two more who are being harried 
+and pecked by the big geese in the lower meadow, and discover one
+sailing by himself in solitary splendour in the middle of the 
+deserted pond, a look of evil triumph in his bead-like eye.&nbsp;
+Still we lack one young duckling, and he at length is found dead 
+by the hedge.&nbsp; A rat has evidently seized him and choked him
+at a single throttle, but in such haste that he has not had time 
+to carry away the tiny body.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Poor think!&rdquo; says Ph&oelig;be tearfully; 
+&ldquo;it looks as if it was &rsquo;it with some kind of a 
+wepping.&nbsp; I don&rsquo;t know whatever to do with the rats, 
+they&rsquo;re gettin&rsquo; that fearocious!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>Before I was admitted into daily contact with the living goose
+(my previous intercourse with him having been carried on when 
+gravy and stuffing obscured his true personality), I thought him 
+a very Dreyfus among fowls, a sorely slandered bird, to whom 
+justice had never been done; for even the gentle Darwin is hard 
+upon him.&nbsp; My opinion is undergoing some slight 
+modifications, but I withhold judgment at present, hoping that 
+some of the follies, faults, vagaries, and limitations that I 
+observe in Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s geese may be due to 
+Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s educational methods, which were, before my 
+advent, those of the darkest ages.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER IV</h2>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p27b.jpg">
+<img alt="Dryshod warnings which are never heeded" 
+src="images/p27s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 9th.</p>
+<p>By the time the ducks and geese are incarcerated for the 
+night, the reasonable, sensible, practical-minded 
+hens&mdash;especially those whose mentality is increased and 
+whose virtue is heightened by the responsibilities of 
+motherhood&mdash;have gone into their own particular rat-proof 
+boxes, where they are waiting in a semi-somnolent state to have 
+the wire doors closed, the bricks set against them, and the bits 
+of sacking flung over the tops to keep out the draught.&nbsp; We 
+have a great many young families, both ducklings and chicks, but 
+we have no duck mothers at present.&nbsp; The variety of bird 
+which Ph&oelig;be seems to have bred during the past year may be 
+called the New Duck, with certain radical ideas about 
+woman&rsquo;s sphere.&nbsp; What will happen to Thornycroft if we
+develop a New Hen and a New Cow, my imagination fails to 
+conceive.&nbsp; There does not seem to be the slightest danger 
+for the moment, however, and our hens lay and sit and sit and lay
+as if laying and sitting were the twin purposes of life.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p28.jpg">
+<img alt="The mother goes off to bed" src="images/p28.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The nature of the hen seems to broaden with the duties of 
+maternity, but I think myself that we presume a little upon her 
+amiability and natural motherliness.&nbsp; It is one thing to 
+desire a family of one&rsquo;s own, to lay eggs with that idea in
+view, to sit upon them three long weeks and hatch out and bring 
+up a nice brood of chicks.&nbsp; It must be quite another to have
+one&rsquo;s eggs abstracted day by day and eaten by a callous 
+public, the nest filled with deceitful substitutes, and at the 
+end of a dull and weary period of hatching to bring into the 
+world another person&rsquo;s children&mdash;children, too, of the
+wrong size, the wrong kind of bills and feet, and, still more 
+subtle grievance, the wrong kind of instincts, leading them to a 
+dangerous aquatic career, one which the mother may not enter to 
+guide, guard, and teach; one on the brink of which she must ever 
+stand, uttering dryshod warnings which are never heeded.&nbsp; 
+They grow used to this strange order of things after a bit, it is
+true, and are less anxious and excited.&nbsp; When the duck-brood
+returns safely again and again from what the hen-mother thinks 
+will prove a watery grave, she becomes accustomed to the 
+situation, I suppose.&nbsp; I find that at night she stands by 
+the pond for what she considers a decent, self-respecting length 
+of time, calling the ducklings out of the water; then, if they 
+refuse to come, the mother goes off to bed and leaves them to 
+Providence, or Ph&oelig;be.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p29.jpg">
+<img alt="Cornelia and the web-footed Gracchi" 
+src="images/p29.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The brown hen that we have named Cornelia is the best mother, 
+the one who waits longest and most patiently for the web-footed 
+Gracchi to finish their swim.</p>
+<p>When a chick is taken out of the incubytor (as Ph&oelig;be 
+calls it) and refused by all the other hens, Cornelia generally 
+accepts it, though she had twelve of her own when we began using 
+her as an orphan asylum.&nbsp; &ldquo;Wings are made to 
+stretch,&rdquo; she seems to say cheerfully, and with a kind 
+glance of her round eye she welcomes the wanderer and the 
+outcast.&nbsp; She even tended for a time the offspring of an 
+absent-minded, light-headed pheasant who flew over a four-foot 
+wall and left her young behind her to starve; it was not a New 
+Pheasant, either; for the most conservative and old-fashioned of 
+her tribe occasionally commits domestic solecisms of this 
+sort.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p30b.jpg">
+<img alt="An orphan asylum" src="images/p30s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>There is no telling when, where, or how the maternal instinct 
+will assert itself.&nbsp; Among our Thornycroft cats is a certain
+Mrs. Greyskin.&nbsp; She had not been seen for many days, and 
+Mrs. Heaven concluded that she had hidden herself somewhere with 
+a family of kittens; but as the supply of that article with us 
+more than equals the demand, we had not searched for her with 
+especial zeal.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p31b.jpg">
+<img alt="Ph&oelig;be and I followed her stealthily" 
+src="images/p31s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The other day Mrs. Greyskin appeared at the dairy door, and 
+when she had been fed Ph&oelig;be and I followed her stealthily, 
+from a distance.&nbsp; She walked slowly about as if her mind 
+were quite free from harassing care, and finally approached a 
+deserted cow-house where there was a great mound of straw.&nbsp; 
+At this moment she caught sight of us and turned in another 
+direction to throw us off the scent.&nbsp; We persevered in our 
+intention of going into her probable retreat, and were cautiously
+looking for some sign of life in the haymow, when we heard a soft
+cackle and a ruffling of plumage.&nbsp; Coming closer to the 
+sound we saw a black hen brooding a nest, her bright bead eyes 
+turning nervously from side to side; and, coaxed out from her 
+protecting wings by youthful curiosity, came four kittens, eyes 
+wide open, warm, happy, ready for sport!</p>
+<p>The sight was irresistible, and Ph&oelig;be ran for Mr. and 
+Mrs. Heaven and the Square Baby.&nbsp; Mother Hen was not to be 
+embarrassed or daunted, even if her most sacred feelings were 
+regarded in the light of a cheap entertainment.&nbsp; She held 
+her ground while one of the kits slid up and down her glossy 
+back, and two others, more timid, crept underneath her breast, 
+only daring to put out their pink noses!&nbsp; We retired then 
+for very shame and met Mrs. Greyskin in the doorway.&nbsp; This 
+should have thickened the plot, but there is apparently no 
+rivalry nor animosity between the co-mothers.&nbsp; We watch them
+every day now, through a window in the roof.&nbsp; Mother 
+Greyskin visits the kittens frequently, lies down beside the home
+nest, and gives them their dinner.&nbsp; While this is going on 
+Mother Blackwing goes modestly away for a bite, a sup, and a 
+little exercise, returning to the kittens when the cat leaves 
+them.&nbsp; It is pretty to see her settle down over the four, 
+fat, furry dumplings, and they seem to know no difference in 
+warmth or comfort, whichever mother is brooding them; while, as 
+their eyes have been open for a week, it can no longer be called 
+a blind error on their part.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p33b.jpg">
+<img alt="Coaxed out . . . by youthful curiosity" 
+src="images/p33s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>When we have closed all our small hen-nurseries for the night,
+there is still the large house inhabited by the thirty-two 
+full-grown chickens which Ph&oelig;be calls the broilers.&nbsp; I
+cannot endure the term, and will not use it.&nbsp; &ldquo;Now for
+the April chicks,&rdquo; I say every evening.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Do you mean the broilers?&rdquo; asks Ph&oelig;be.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I mean the big April chicks,&rdquo; say I.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Yes, them are the broilers,&rdquo; says she.</p>
+<p>But is it not disagreeable enough to be a broiler when 
+one&rsquo;s time comes, without having the gridiron waved in 
+one&rsquo;s face for weeks beforehand?</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p34b.jpg">
+<img alt="Nine huddle together" src="images/p34s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The April chicks are all lively and desirous of seeing the 
+world as thoroughly as possible before going to roost or 
+broil.&nbsp; As a general thing, we find in the large house 
+sixteen young fowls of the contemplative, flavourless, 
+resigned-to-the-inevitable variety; three more (the same three 
+every night) perch on the roof and are driven down; four (always 
+the same four) cling to the edge of the open door, waiting to fly
+off, but not in, when you attempt to close it; nine huddle 
+together on a place in the grass about forty feet distant, where 
+a small coop formerly stood in the prehistoric ages.&nbsp; This 
+small coop was one in which they lodged for a fortnight when they
+were younger, and when those absolutely indelible impressions are
+formed of which we read in educational maxims.&nbsp; It was taken
+away long since, but the nine loyal (or stupid) Casabiancas cling
+to the sacred spot where its foundations rested; they accordingly
+have to be caught and deposited bodily in the house, and this 
+requires strategy, as they note our approach from a considerable 
+distance.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p35.jpg">
+<img alt="Of a wandering mind" src="images/p35.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Finally all are housed but two, the little white cock and the 
+black pullet, who are still impish and of a wandering mind.&nbsp;
+Though headed off in every direction, they fly into the hedges 
+and hide in the underbrush.&nbsp; We beat the hedge on the other 
+side, but with no avail.&nbsp; We dive into the thicket of wild 
+roses, sweetbrier, and thistles on our hands and knees, coming 
+out with tangled hair, scratched noses, and no hens.&nbsp; Then, 
+when all has been done that human ingenuity can suggest, 
+Ph&oelig;be goes to her late supper and I do sentry-work.&nbsp; I
+stroll to a safe distance, and, sitting on one of the rat-proof 
+boxes, watch the bushes with an eagle eye.&nbsp; Five minutes go 
+by, ten, fifteen; and then out steps the white cock, stealthily 
+tiptoeing toward the home into which he refused to go at our 
+instigation.&nbsp; In a moment out creeps the obstinate little 
+beast of a black pullet from the opposite clump.&nbsp; The 
+wayward pair meet at their own door, which I have left open a few
+inches.&nbsp; When all is still I walk gently down the field, 
+and, warned by previous experiences, approach the house from 
+behind.&nbsp; I draw the door to softly and quickly; but not so 
+quickly that the evil-minded and suspicious black pullet 
+hasn&rsquo;t time to spring out, with a make-believe squawk of 
+fright&mdash;that induces three other blameless chickens to fly 
+down from their perches and set the whole flock in a 
+flutter.&nbsp; Then I fall from grace and call her a Broiler; and
+when, after some minutes of hot pursuit, I catch her by falling 
+over her in the corner by the goose-pen, I address her as a fat, 
+juicy Broiler with parsley butter and a bit of bacon.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p36b.jpg">
+<img alt="With tangled hair, scratched noses, and no hens" 
+src="images/p36s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<h2>CHAPTER V</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 10th.</p>
+<p>At ten thirty or so in the morning the cackling begins.&nbsp; 
+I wonder exactly what it means!&nbsp; Have the forest-lovers who 
+listen so respectfully to, and interpret so exquisitely, the 
+notes of birds&mdash;have none of them made psychological 
+investigations of the hen cackle?&nbsp; Can it be simple 
+elation?&nbsp; One could believe that of the first few eggs, but 
+a hen who has laid two or three hundred can hardly feel the same 
+exuberant pride and joy daily.&nbsp; Can it be the excitement 
+incident to successful achievement?&nbsp; Hardly, because the 
+task is so extremely simple.&nbsp; Eggs are more or less alike; a
+little larger or smaller, a trifle whiter or browner; and almost 
+sure to be quite right as to details; that is, the big end never 
+gets confused with the little end, they are always ovoid and 
+never spherical, and the yolk is always inside of the 
+white.&nbsp; As for a soft-shelled egg, it is so rare an 
+occurrence that the fear of laying one could not set the whole 
+race of hens in a panic; so there really cannot be any 
+intellectual or emotional agitation in producing a thing that 
+might be made by a machine.&nbsp; Can it be simply 
+&ldquo;fussiness&rdquo;; since the people who have the least to 
+do commonly make the most flutter about doing it?</p>
+<p>Perhaps it is merely conversation.&nbsp; 
+&ldquo;<i>Cut-cut-cut-cut-cut</i>-DAH<i>cut</i>! . . . I have 
+finished my strictly fresh egg, have you laid yours?&nbsp; Make 
+haste, then, for the cock has found a gap in the wire-fence and 
+wants us to wander in the strawberry-bed. . . . 
+Cut-cut-cut-cut-cut-DAH<i>cut</i> . . . Every moment is precious,
+for the Goose Girl will find us, when she gathers the 
+strawberries for her luncheon . . . Cut-cut-cut-cut!&nbsp; On the
+way out we can find sweet places to steal nests . . . 
+Cut-cut-cut! . . . I am so glad I am not sitting this heavenly 
+morning; it <i>is</i> a dull life.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>A Lancashire poultryman drifted into Barbury Green 
+yesterday.&nbsp; He is an old acquaintance of Mr. Heaven, and 
+spent the night and part of the next day at Thornycroft 
+Farm.&nbsp; He possessed a deal of fowl philosophy, and tells 
+many a good hen story, which, like fish stories, draw rather 
+largely on the credulity of the audience.&nbsp; We were sitting 
+in the rickyard talking comfortably about laying and cackling and
+kindred matters when he took his pipe from his mouth and told us 
+the following tale&mdash;not a bad one if you can translate the 
+dialect:&mdash;</p>
+<p>&lsquo;Aw were once towd as, if yo&rsquo; could only get 
+th&rsquo; hen&rsquo;s egg away afooar she hed sin it, th&rsquo; 
+hen &rsquo;ud think it hed med a mistek an&rsquo; sit deawn 
+ageean an&rsquo; lay another.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;An&rsquo; it seemed to me it were a varra sensible way 
+o&rsquo; lukkin&rsquo; at it.&nbsp; Sooa aw set to wark to mek a 
+nest as &rsquo;ud tek a rise eawt o&rsquo; th&rsquo; hens.&nbsp; 
+An&rsquo; aw dud it too.&nbsp; Aw med a nest wi&rsquo; a fause 
+bottom, th&rsquo; idea bein&rsquo; as when a hen hed laid, 
+th&rsquo; egg &rsquo;ud drop through into a box underneyth.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Aw felt varra preawd o&rsquo; that nest, too, aw con 
+tell yo&rsquo;, an&rsquo; aw remember aw felt quite excited when 
+aw see an awd black Minorca, th&rsquo; best layer as aw hed, gooa
+an&rsquo; settle hersel deawn i&rsquo; th&rsquo; nest an&rsquo; 
+get ready for wark.&nbsp; Th&rsquo; hen seemed quite comfortable 
+enough, aw were glad to see, an&rsquo; geet through th&rsquo; 
+operation beawt ony seemin&rsquo; trouble.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Well, aw darsay yo&rsquo; know heaw a hen carries on as
+soon as it&rsquo;s laid a egg.&nbsp; It starts 
+&ldquo;chuckin&rsquo;&rdquo; away like a showman&rsquo;s racket, 
+an&rsquo; after tekkin&rsquo; a good Ink at th&rsquo; egg to see 
+whether it&rsquo;s a big &rsquo;un or a little &rsquo;un, gooas 
+eawt an&rsquo; tells all t&rsquo;other hens abeawt it.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Neaw, this black Minorca, as aw sed, were a owdish 
+bird, an&rsquo; maybe knew mooar than aw thowt.&nbsp; Happen it 
+hed laid on a nest wi&rsquo; a fause bottom afooar, an&rsquo; 
+were up to th&rsquo; trick, but whether or not, aw never see a 
+hen luk mooar disgusted i&rsquo; mi life when it lukked i&rsquo; 
+th&rsquo; nest an&rsquo; see as it hed hed all that trouble fer 
+nowt.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;It woked reawnd th&rsquo; nest as if it couldn&rsquo;t 
+believe its own eyes.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;But it dudn&rsquo;t do as aw expected.&nbsp; Aw 
+expected as it &rsquo;ud sit deawn ageean an&rsquo; lay 
+another.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;But it just gi&rsquo;e one wonderin&rsquo; sooart 
+o&rsquo; chuck, an then, after a long stare reawnd th&rsquo; 
+hen-coyt, it woked eawt, as mad a hen as aw&rsquo;ve ever 
+sin.&nbsp; Aw fun&rsquo; eawt after, what th&rsquo; long stare 
+meant.&nbsp; It were tekkin&rsquo; farewell!&nbsp; For if 
+yo&rsquo;ll believe me that hen never laid another egg i&rsquo; 
+ony o&rsquo; my nests.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Varra like it laid away in a spot wheear it could hev 
+summat to luk at when it hed done wark for th&rsquo; day.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Sooa aw lost mi best layer through mi actin&rsquo;, 
+an&rsquo; aw&rsquo;ve never invented owt sen.&rdquo;</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER VI</h2>
+<p>One learns to be modest by living on a poultry farm, for there
+are constant expositions of the most deplorable vanity among the 
+cocks.&nbsp; We have a couple of pea-fowl who certainly are an 
+addition to the landscape, as they step mincingly along the 
+square of turf we dignify by the name of lawn.&nbsp; The head of 
+the house has a most languid and self-conscious strut, and his 
+microscopic mind is fixed entirely on his splendid trailing 
+tail.&nbsp; If I could only master his language sufficiently to 
+tell him how hideously ugly the back view of this gorgeous fan 
+is, when he spreads it for the edification of the observer in 
+front of him, he would of course retort that there is a 
+&ldquo;congregation side&rdquo; to everything, but I should at 
+least force him into a defence of his tail and a confession of 
+its limitations.&nbsp; This would be new and unpleasant, I fancy;
+and if it produced no perceptible effect upon his super-arrogant 
+demeanour, I might remind him that he is likely to be used, 
+eventually, for a feather duster, unless, indeed, the Heavens are
+superstitious and prefer to throw his tail away, rather than 
+bring ill luck and the evil eye into the house.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p43.jpg">
+<img alt="More pride of bearing, and less to be proud of" 
+src="images/p43.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The longer I study the cock, whether Black Spanish, White 
+Leghorn, Dorking, or the common barnyard fowl, the more 
+intimately I am acquainted with him, the less I am impressed with
+his character.&nbsp; He has more pride of bearing, and less to be
+proud of, than any bird I know.&nbsp; He is indolent, though he 
+struts pompously over the grass as if the day were all too short 
+for his onerous duties.&nbsp; He calls the hens about him when I 
+throw corn from the basket, but many a time I have seen him 
+swallow hurriedly, and in private, some dainty titbit he has 
+found unexpectedly.&nbsp; He has no particular chivalry.&nbsp; He
+gives no special encouragement to his hen when he becomes a 
+prospective father, and renders little assistance when the 
+responsibilities become actualities.&nbsp; His only personal 
+message or contribution to the world is his raucous 
+cock-a-doodle-doo, which, being uttered most frequently at dawn, 
+is the most ill-timed and offensive of all musical notes.&nbsp; 
+It is so unnecessary too, as if the day didn&rsquo;t come soon 
+enough without his warning; but I suppose he is anxious to waken 
+his hens and get them at their daily task, and so he disturbs the
+entire community.&nbsp; In short, I dislike him; his swagger, his
+autocratic strut, his greed, his irritating self-consciousness, 
+his endless parading of himself up and down in a procession of 
+one.</p>
+<p>Of course his character is largely the result of 
+polygamy.&nbsp; His weaknesses are only what might be expected; 
+and as for the hens, I have considerable respect for the 
+patience, sobriety, and dignity with which they endure an 
+institution particularly offensive to all women.&nbsp; In their 
+case they do not even have the sustaining thought of its being an
+article of religion, so they are to be complimented the more.</p>
+<p>There is nothing on earth so feminine as a hen&mdash;not 
+womanly, simply feminine.&nbsp; Those men of insight who write 
+the Woman&rsquo;s Page in the Sunday newspapers study hens more 
+than women, I sometimes think; at any rate, their favourite types
+are all present on this poultry farm.</p>
+<p>Some families of White Leghorns spend most of their time in 
+the rickyard, where they look extremely pretty, their slender 
+white shapes and red combs and wattles well set off by the 
+background of golden hayricks.&nbsp; There is a great oak-tree in
+one corner, with a tall ladder leaning against its trunk, and a 
+capital roosting-place on a long branch running at right angles 
+with the ladder.&nbsp; I try to spend a quarter of an hour there 
+every night before supper, just for the pleasure of seeing the 
+feathered &ldquo;women-folks&rdquo; mount that ladder.</p>
+<p>A dozen of them surround the foot, waiting restlessly for 
+their turn.&nbsp; One little white lady flutters up on the lowest
+round and perches there until she reviews the past, faces the 
+present, and forecasts the future; during which time she is 
+gathering courage for the next jump.&nbsp; She cackles, takes up 
+one foot and then the other, tilts back and forth, holds up her 
+skirts and drops them again, cocks her head nervously to see 
+whether they are all staring at her below, gives half a dozen 
+preliminary springs which mean nothing, declares she can&rsquo;t 
+and won&rsquo;t go up any faster, unties her bonnet strings and 
+pushes back her hair, pulls down her dress to cover her toes, and
+finally alights on the next round, swaying to and fro until she 
+gains her equilibrium, when she proceeds to enact the same scene 
+over again.</p>
+<p>All this time the hens at the foot of the ladder are 
+criticising her methods and exclaiming at the length of time she 
+requires in mounting; while the cocks stroll about the yard 
+keeping one eye on the ladder, picking up a seed here and there, 
+and giving a masculine sneer now and then at the too-familiar 
+scene.&nbsp; They approach the party at intervals, but only to 
+remark that it always makes a man laugh to see a woman go up a 
+ladder.&nbsp; The next hen, stirred to the depths by this speech,
+flies up entirely too fast, loses her head, tumbles off the top 
+round, and has to make the ascent over again.&nbsp; Thus it goes 
+on and on, this <i>petite com&eacute;die humaine</i>, and I could
+enjoy it with my whole heart if Mr. Heaven did not insist on 
+sharing the spectacle with me.&nbsp; He is so inexpressibly dull,
+so destitute of humour, that I did not think it likely he would 
+see in the performance anything more than a flock of hens going 
+up a ladder to roost.&nbsp; But he did; for there is no man so 
+blind that he cannot see the follies of women; and, when he 
+forgot himself so far as to utter a few genial, silly, well-worn 
+reflections upon femininity at large, I turned upon him and 
+revealed to him some of the characteristics of his own sex, 
+gained from an exhaustive study of the barnyard fowl of the 
+masculine gender.&nbsp; He went into the house discomfited, 
+though chuckling a little at my vehemence; but at least I have 
+made it for ever impossible for him to watch his hens without an 
+occasional glance at the cocks.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p46b.jpg">
+<img alt="Mr. Heaven discomfited" src="images/p46s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<h2>CHAPTER VII</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 12th.</p>
+<p>O the pathos of a poultry farm!&nbsp; Catherine of Aragon, the
+black Spanish hen that stole her nest, brought out nine chicks 
+this morning, and the business-like and marble-hearted 
+Ph&oelig;be has taken them away and given them to another hen who
+has only seven.&nbsp; Two mothers cannot be wasted on these small
+families&mdash;it would not be profitable; and the older mother, 
+having been tried and found faithful over seven, has been given 
+the other nine and accepted them.&nbsp; What of the bereft 
+one?&nbsp; She is miserable and stands about moping and forlorn, 
+but it is no use fighting against the inevitable; hens&rsquo; 
+hearts must obey the same laws that govern the rotation of 
+crops.&nbsp; Catherine of Aragon feels her lot a bitter one just 
+now, but in time she will succumb, and lay, which is more to the 
+point.</p>
+<p>We have had a very busy evening, beginning with the 
+rats&rsquo; supper&mdash;delicate sandwiches of bread-and-butter 
+spread with Paris green.</p>
+<p>We have a new brood of seventeen ducklings just hatched this 
+afternoon.&nbsp; When we came to the nest the yellow and brown 
+bunches of down and fluff were peeping out from under the 
+hen&rsquo;s wings in the prettiest fashion in the world.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a noble hen!&rdquo; I said to 
+Ph&oelig;be.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;She ain&rsquo;t so nowble as she looks,&rdquo; 
+Ph&oelig;be answered grimly.&nbsp; &ldquo;It was another 
+&rsquo;en that brooded these eggs for near on three weeks and 
+then this big one come along with a fancy she&rsquo;d like a 
+family &rsquo;erself if she could steal one without too much 
+trouble; so she drove the rightful &rsquo;en off the nest, 
+finished up the last few days, and &rsquo;ere she is in 
+possession of the ducklings!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Why don&rsquo;t you take them away from her and give 
+them back to the first hen, who did most of the work?&rdquo; I 
+asked, with some spirit.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Like as not she wouldn&rsquo;t tyke them now,&rdquo; 
+said Ph&oelig;be, as she lifted the hen off the broken egg-shells
+and moved her gently into a clean box, on a bed of fresh 
+hay.&nbsp; We put food and drink within reach of the family, and 
+very proud and handsome that highway robber of a hen looked, as 
+she stretched her wings over the seventeen easily-earned 
+ducklings.</p>
+<p>Going back to the old nesting-box, I found one egg forgotten 
+among the shells.&nbsp; It was still warm, and I took it up to 
+run across the field with it to Ph&oelig;be.&nbsp; It was heavy, 
+and the carrying of it was a queer sensation, inasmuch as it 
+squirmed and &ldquo;yipped&rdquo; vociferously in transit, 
+threatening so unmistakably to hatch in my hand that I was 
+decidedly nervous.&nbsp; The intrepid little youngster burst his 
+shell as he touched Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s apron, and has become the
+strongest and handsomest of the brood.</p>
+<p>All this tending of downy young things, this feeding and 
+putting to bed, this petting and nursing and rearing, is such 
+pretty, comforting woman&rsquo;s work.&nbsp; I am sure 
+Ph&oelig;be will make a better wife to the carrier for having 
+been a poultry-maid, and though good enough for most practical 
+purposes when I came here, I am an infinitely better woman 
+now.&nbsp; I am afraid I was not particularly nice the last few 
+days at the Hydro.&nbsp; Such a lot of dull, prosy, inquisitive, 
+bothering old tabbies!&nbsp; Aunt Margaret furnishing imaginary 
+symptoms enough to keep a fond husband and two trained nurses 
+distracted; a man I had never encouraged in my life coming to 
+stay in the neighbourhood and turning up daily for rejection; 
+another man taking rooms at the very hotel with the avowed 
+purpose of making my life a burden; and on the heels of both, a 
+widow of thirty-five in full chase!&nbsp; Small wonder I thought 
+it more dignified to retire than to compete, and so I did.</p>
+<p>I need not, however, have cut the threads that bound me to 
+Oxenbridge with such particularly sharp scissors, nor given them 
+such a vicious snap; for, so far as I can observe, the little 
+world of which I imagined myself the sun continues to revolve, 
+and, probably, about some other centre.&nbsp; I can well imagine 
+who has taken up that delightful but somewhat exposed and 
+responsible position&mdash;it would be just like her!</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p51b.jpg">
+<img alt="Threatened . . . to hatch in my hand" 
+src="images/p51s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>I am perfectly happy where I am; it is not that; but it seems 
+so strange that they can be perfectly happy without me, after all
+that they&mdash;after all that was said on the subject not many 
+days ago.&nbsp; Nothing turns out as one expects.&nbsp; There 
+have been no hot pursuits, no rewards offered, no bills posted, 
+no printed placards issued describing the beauty and charms of a 
+young person who supposed herself the cynosure of every 
+eye.&nbsp; Heigh-ho!&nbsp; What does it matter, after all?&nbsp; 
+One can always be a Goose Girl!</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">* * * * *</p>
+<p>I wonder if the hen mother is quite, quite satisfied with her 
+ducklings!&nbsp; Do you suppose the fact of hatching and brooding
+them breaks down all the sense of difference?&nbsp; Does she not 
+sometimes reflect that if her children were the ordinary sort, 
+and not these changelings, she would be enjoying certain pretty 
+little attentions dear to a mother&rsquo;s heart?&nbsp; The 
+chicks would be pecking the food off her broad beak with their 
+tiny ones, and jumping on her back to slide down her glossy 
+feathers.&nbsp; They would be far nicer to cuddle, too, so small 
+and graceful and light; the changelings are a trifle solid and 
+brawny.&nbsp; And personally, just as a matter of taste, would 
+she not prefer wee, round, glancing heads, and pointed beaks, 
+peeping from under her wings, to these teaspoon-shaped things 
+larger than her own?&nbsp; I wonder!</p>
+<p>We are training fourteen large young chickens to sit on the 
+perches in their new house, instead of huddling together on the 
+floor as has been their habit, because we discover rat-holes 
+under the wire flooring occasionally, and fear that toes may be 
+bitten.&nbsp; At nine o&rsquo;clock Ph&oelig;be and I lift the 
+chickens one by one, and, as it were, glue them to their perches,
+squawking.&nbsp; Three nights have we gone patiently through with
+this performance, but they have not learned the lesson.&nbsp; The
+ducks and geese are, however, greatly improved by the application
+of advanced educational methods, and the <i>r&eacute;gime</i> of 
+perfect order and system instituted by Me begins to show 
+results.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p53b.jpg">
+<img alt="One can always be a Goose Girl" src="images/p53s.jpg" 
+/>
+</a></p>
+<p>There is no more violent splashing and pebbling, racing, 
+chasing, separating.&nbsp; The pole, indeed, still has to be 
+produced, but at the first majestic wave of my hand they scuttle 
+toward the shore.&nbsp; The geese turn to the right, cross the 
+rickyard, and go to their pen; the May ducks turn to the left for
+their coops, the June ducks follow the hens to the top meadow, 
+and even the idiot gosling has an inspiration now and then and 
+stumbles on his own habitation.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p54.jpg">
+<img alt="The geese . . . cross the rickyard" 
+src="images/p54.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Mrs. Heaven has no reverence for the principles of Comenius, 
+Pestalozzi, or Herbert Spencer as applied to poultry, and when 
+the ducks and geese came out of the pond badly the other night 
+and went waddling and tumbling and hissing all over creation, did
+not approve of my sending them back into the pond to start 
+afresh.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I consider it a great waste of time, of good time, 
+miss,&rdquo; she said; &ldquo;and, after all, do you consider 
+that educated poultry will be any better eating, or that it will 
+lay more than one egg a day, miss?&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I have given the matter some attention, and I fear Mrs. Heaven
+is right.&nbsp; A duck, a goose, or a hen in which I have 
+developed a larger brain, implanted a sense of duty, or instilled
+an idea of self-government, is likely, on the whole, to be 
+leaner, not fatter.&nbsp; There is nothing like obeying the voice
+of conscience for taking the flesh off one&rsquo;s bones; and, 
+speaking of conscience, Ph&oelig;be, whose metaphysics are of the
+farm farmy, says that hers &ldquo;felt like a hunlaid hegg for 
+dyes&rdquo; after she had jilted the postman.</p>
+<p>As to the eggs, I am sure the birds will go on laying one a 
+day for &rsquo;tis their nature to.&nbsp; Whether the product of 
+the intelligent, conscious, logical fowl, will be as rich in 
+quality as that of the uneducated and barbaric bird, I cannot 
+say; but it ought at least to be equal to the Denmark egg eaten 
+now by all Londoners; and if, perchance, left uneaten, it is 
+certain to be a very superior wife and mother.</p>
+<p>While we are discussing the subject of educating poultry, I 
+confess that the case of Cannibal Ann gives me much 
+anxiety.&nbsp; Twice in her short career has she been under 
+suspicion of eating her own eggs, but Ph&oelig;be has never 
+succeeded in catching her <i>in flagrante delicto</i>.&nbsp; That
+eminent detective service was reserved for me, and I have been 
+haunted by the picture ever since.&nbsp; It is an awful sight to 
+witness a hen gulp her own newly-laid fresh egg, yolk, white, 
+shell, and all; to realise that you have fed, sheltered, chased, 
+and occasionally run in, a being possessed of no moral sense, a 
+being likely to set a bad example, inculcate vicious habits among
+her innocent sisters, and lower the standard of an entire 
+poultry-yard.&nbsp; <i>The Young Poultry Keeper&rsquo;s 
+Friend</i> gives us no advice on this topic, and we do not know 
+whether to treat Cannibal Ann as the victim of a disease, or as a
+confirmed criminal; whether to administer remedies or cut her off
+in the flower of her youth.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p56b.jpg">
+<img alt="Poor little chap, . . . &rsquo;e never was a fyvorite" 
+src="images/p56s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>We have had a sad scene to-night.&nbsp; A chick has been 
+ailing all day, and when we shut up the brood we found him dead 
+in a corner.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be put him on the ground while she busied herself 
+about the coop.&nbsp; The other chicks came out and walked about 
+the dead one again and again, eyeing him curiously.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Poor little chap!&rdquo; said Ph&oelig;be.&nbsp; 
+&ldquo;&rsquo;E&rsquo;s never &rsquo;ad a mother!&nbsp; &rsquo;E 
+was an incubytor chicken, and wherever I took &rsquo;im &rsquo;e 
+was picked at.&nbsp; There was somethink wrong with &rsquo;im; 
+&rsquo;e never was a fyvorite!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>I put the fluffy body into a hole in the turf, and strewed a 
+handful of grass over him.&nbsp; &ldquo;Sad little 
+epitaph!&rdquo; I thought.&nbsp; &ldquo;He never was a 
+fyvorite!&rdquo;</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 13th.</p>
+<p>I like to watch the Belgian hares eating their trifolium or 
+pea-pods or grass; graceful, gentle things they are, crowding 
+about Mr. Heaven, and standing prettily, not greedily, on their 
+hind legs, to reach for the clover, their delicate nostrils and 
+whiskers all a-quiver with excitement.</p>
+<p>As I look out of my window in the dusk I can see one of the 
+mothers galloping across the enclosure, the soft white lining of 
+her tail acting as a beacon-light to the eight infant hares 
+following her, a quaint procession of eight white spots in it 
+glancing line.&nbsp; In the darkest night those baby creatures 
+could follow their mother through grass or hedge or thicket, and 
+she would need no warning note to show them where to flee in case
+of danger.&nbsp; &ldquo;All you have to do is to follow the white
+night-light that I keep in the lining of my tail,&rdquo; she 
+says, when she is giving her first maternal lectures; and it 
+seems a beneficent provision of Nature.&nbsp; To be sure, Mr. 
+Heaven took his gun and went out to shoot wild rabbits to-day, 
+and I noted that he marked them by those same self-betraying 
+tails, as they scuttled toward their holes or leaped toward the 
+protecting cover of the hedge; so it does not appear whether 
+Nature is on the side of the farmer or the rabbit . . .</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p59b.jpg">
+<img alt="Mr. Heaven . . . went out to shoot wild rabbits" 
+src="images/p59s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>There is as much comedy and as much tragedy in poultry life as
+anywhere, and already I see rifts within lutes.&nbsp; We have in 
+a cage a French gentleman partridge married to a Hungarian lady 
+of defective sight.&nbsp; He paces back and forth in the pen 
+restlessly, anything but content with the domestic 
+fireside.&nbsp; One can see plainly that he is devoted to the 
+Boulevards, and that if left to his own inclinations he would 
+never have chosen any spouse but a thorough Parisienne.</p>
+<p>The Hungarian lady is blind of one eye, from some stray shot, 
+I suppose.&nbsp; She is melancholy at all times, and occasionally
+goes so far as to beat her head against the wire netting.&nbsp; 
+If liberated, Mr. Heaven says that her blindness would only 
+expose her to death at the hands of the first sportsman, and it 
+always seems to me as if she knows this, and is ever trying to 
+decide whether a loveless marriage is any better than the 
+tomb.</p>
+<p>Then, again, the great, grey gander is, for some mysterious 
+reason, out of favour with the entire family.&nbsp; He is a noble
+and amiable bird, by far the best all-round character in the 
+flock, for dignity of mien and large-minded common-sense.&nbsp; 
+What is the treatment vouchsafed to this blameless husband and 
+father?&nbsp; One that puts anybody out of sorts with virtue and 
+its scant rewards.&nbsp; To begin with, the others will not allow
+him to go into the pond.&nbsp; There is an organised cabal 
+against it, and he sits solitary on the bank, calm and resigned, 
+but, naturally, a trifle hurt.&nbsp; His favourite retreat is a 
+tiny sort of island on the edge of the pool under the alders, 
+where with his bent head, and red-rimmed philosophic eyes he 
+regards his own breast and dreams of happier days.&nbsp; When the
+others walk into the country twenty-three of them keep together, 
+and Burd Alane (as I have named him from the old ballad) walks by
+himself.&nbsp; The lack of harmony is so evident here, and the 
+slight so intentional and direct, that it almost moves me to 
+tears.&nbsp; The others walk soberly, always in couples, but even
+Burd Alane&rsquo;s rightful spouse is on the side of the 
+majority, and avoids her consort.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p61b.jpg">
+<img alt="Out of favour with the entire family" 
+src="images/p61s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>What is the nature of his offence?&nbsp; There can be no 
+connubial jealousies, I judge, as geese are strictly monogamous, 
+and having chosen a partner of their joys and sorrows they cleave
+to each other until death or some other inexorable circumstance 
+does them part.&nbsp; If they are ever mistaken in their choice, 
+and think they might have done better, the world is none the 
+wiser.&nbsp; Burd Alane looks in good condition, but Ph&oelig;be 
+thinks he is not quite himself, and that some day when he is in 
+greater strength he will turn on his foes and rend them, 
+regaining thus his lost prestige, for formerly he was king of the
+flock.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">* * * * *</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be has not a vestige of sentiment.&nbsp; She just 
+asked me if I would have a duckling or a gosling for dinner; that
+there were two quite ready&mdash;the brown and yellow duckling, 
+that is the last to leave the water at night, and the white 
+gosling that never knows his own &rsquo;ouse.&nbsp; Which would I
+&rsquo;ave, and would I &rsquo;ave it with sage and onion?</p>
+<p>Now, had I found a duckling on the table at dinner I should 
+have eaten it without thinking at all, or with the thought that 
+it had come from Barbury Green.&nbsp; But eat a duckling that I 
+have stoned out of the pond, pursued up the bank, chased behind 
+the wire netting, caught, screaming, in a corner, and carried 
+struggling to his bed?&nbsp; Feed upon an idiot gosling that I 
+have found in nine different coops on nine successive 
+nights&mdash;in with the newly-hatched chicks, the half-grown 
+pullets, the setting hen, the &ldquo;invaleed goose,&rdquo; the 
+drake with the gapes, the old ducks in the pen?&mdash;Eat a 
+gosling that I have caught and put in with his brothers and 
+sisters (whom he never recognises) so frequently and regularly 
+that I am familiar with every joint in his body?</p>
+<p>In the first place, with my own small bump of locality and 
+lack of geography, I would never willingly consume a creature who
+might, by some strange process of assimilation, make me worse in 
+this respect; in the second place, I should have to be ravenous 
+indeed to sit down deliberately and make a meal of an intimate 
+friend, no matter if I had not a high opinion of his 
+intelligence.&nbsp; I should as soon think of eating the Square 
+Baby, stuffed with sage and onion and garnished with green 
+apple-sauce, as the yellow duckling or the idiot gosling.</p>
+<p>Mrs. Heaven has just called me into her sitting-room, 
+ostensibly to ask me to order breakfast, but really for the 
+pleasure of conversation.&nbsp; Why she should inquire whether I 
+would relish some gammon of bacon with eggs, when she knows that 
+there has not been, is not now, and never will be, anything but 
+gammon of bacon with eggs, is more than I can explain.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Would you like to see my flowers, miss?&rdquo; she 
+asks, folding her plump hands over her white apron.&nbsp; 
+&ldquo;They are looking beautiful this morning.&nbsp; I am so 
+fond of potted plants, of plants in pots.&nbsp; Look at these 
+geraniums!&nbsp; Now, I consider that pink one a perfect bloom; 
+yes, a perfect bloom.&nbsp; This is a fine red one, is it not, 
+miss?&nbsp; Especially fine, don&rsquo;t you think?&nbsp; The 
+trouble with the red variety is that they&rsquo;re apt to get 
+&ldquo;bobby&rdquo; and have to be washed regularly; quite bobby 
+they do get indeed, I assure you.&nbsp; That white one has just 
+gone out of blossom, and it was really wonderful.&nbsp; You could
+&rsquo;ardly have told it from a paper flower, miss, not from a 
+white paper flower.&nbsp; My plants are my children nowadays, 
+since Albert Edward is my only care.&nbsp; I have been the mother
+of eleven children, miss, all of them living, so far as I know; I
+know nothing to the contrary.&nbsp; I &rsquo;ope you are not 
+wearying of this solitary place, miss?&nbsp; It will grow upon 
+you, I am sure, as it did upon Mrs. Pollock, with all her 
+peculiar fancies, and as it &rsquo;as grown upon us.&mdash;We 
+formerly had a butcher&rsquo;s shop in Buffington, and it was 
+naturally a great responsibility.&nbsp; Mr. Heaven&rsquo;s nerves
+are not strong, and at last he wanted a life of more quietude, 
+more quietude was what he craved.&nbsp; The life of a retail 
+butcher is a most exciting and wearying one.&nbsp; Nobody 
+satisfied with their meat; as if it mattered in a world of 
+change!&nbsp; Everybody complaining of too much bone or too 
+little fat; nobody wishing tough chops or cutlets, but always 
+seeking after fine joints, when it&rsquo;s against reason and 
+nature that all joints should be juicy and all cutlets tender; 
+always complaining if livers are not sent with every fowl, always
+asking you to remember the trimmin&rsquo;s, always wanting their 
+beef well &rsquo;ung, and then if you &rsquo;ang it a minute too 
+long, it&rsquo;s left on your &rsquo;ands!&nbsp; I often used to 
+say to Mr. Heaven, yes many&rsquo;s the time I&rsquo;ve said it, 
+that if people would think more of the great &rsquo;ereafter and 
+less about their own little stomachs, it would be a deal better 
+for them, yes, a deal better, and make it much more comfortable 
+for the butchers!&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p65b.jpg">
+<img alt="The life . . . is a most exciting and wearying one" 
+src="images/p65s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: center">* * * * *</p>
+<p>Burd Alane has had a good quarter of an hour to-day.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p66.jpg">
+<img alt="His spouse took a brief promenade with him" 
+src="images/p66.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>His spouse took a brief promenade with him.&nbsp; To be sure, 
+it was during an absence of the flock on the other side of the 
+hedge so that the moral effect of her spasm of wifely loyalty was
+quite lost upon them.&nbsp; I strongly suspect that she would not
+have granted anything but a secret interview.&nbsp; What a petty,
+weak, ignoble character!&nbsp; I really don&rsquo;t like to think
+so badly of any fellow-creature as I am forced to think of that 
+politic, time-serving, pusillanimous goose.&nbsp; I believe she 
+laid the egg that produced the idiot gosling!</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER IX</h2>
+<p>Here follows the true story of Sir Muscovy Drake, the Lady 
+Blanche, and Miss Malardina Crippletoes.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s flock consisted at first mostly of Brown 
+Mallards, but a friend gave her a sitting of eggs warranted to 
+produce a most beautiful variety of white ducks.&nbsp; They were 
+hatched in due time, but proved hard to raise, till at length 
+there was only one survivor, of such uncommon grace and beauty 
+that we called her the Lady Blanche.&nbsp; Presently a neighbour 
+sold Ph&oelig;be his favourite Muscovy drake, and these two 
+splendid creatures by &ldquo;natural selection&rdquo; disdained 
+to notice the rest of the flock, but forming a close friendship, 
+wandered in the pleasant paths of duckdom together, swimming and 
+eating quite apart from the others.</p>
+<p>In the brown flock there was one unfortunate, misshapen from 
+the egg, quite lame, and with no smoothness of plumage; but on 
+that very account, apparently, or because she was too weak to 
+resist them, the others treated her cruelly, biting her and 
+pushing her away from the food.</p>
+<p>One day it happened that the two ducks&mdash;Sir Muscovy and 
+Lady Blanche&mdash;had come up from the water before the others, 
+and having taken their repast were sitting together under the 
+shade of a flowering currant-bush, when they chanced to see poor 
+Miss Crippletoes very badly used and crowded away from the 
+dish.&nbsp; Sir Muscovy rose to his feet; a few rapid words 
+seemed to pass between him and his mate, and then he fell upon 
+the other drake and the heartless minions who had persecuted the 
+helpless one, drove them far away out of sight, and, returning, 
+went to the corner where the victim was cowering, her face to the
+wall.&nbsp; He seemed to whisper to her, or in some way to convey
+to her a sense of protection; for after a few moments she 
+tremblingly went with him to the dish, and hurriedly ate her 
+dinner while he stood by, repulsing the advances of the few brown
+ducks who remained near and seemed inclined to attack her.</p>
+<p>When she had eaten enough Lady Blanche joined them, and they 
+went down the hill together to their favourite 
+swimming-place.&nbsp; After that Miss Crippletoes always followed
+a little behind her protectors, and thus shielded and fed she 
+grew stronger and well-feathered, though she was always smaller 
+than she should have been and had a lowly manner, keeping a few 
+steps in the rear of her superiors and sitting at some distance 
+from their noon resting-place.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be noticed after a while that Lady Blanche was seldom
+to be seen, and Sir Muscovy and Miss Crippletoes often came to 
+their meals without her.&nbsp; The would-be mother refused to 
+inhabit the house Ph&oelig;be had given her, and for a long time 
+the place she had chosen for her sitting could not be 
+found.&nbsp; At length the Square Baby discovered her in a most 
+ideal spot.&nbsp; A large boulder had dropped years ago into the 
+brook that fills our duck-pond; dropped and split in halves with 
+the two smooth walls leaning away from each other.&nbsp; A grassy
+bank towered behind, and on either side of the opening, tall 
+bushes made a miniature forest where the romantic mother could 
+brood her treasures while her two guardians enjoyed the water 
+close by her retreat.</p>
+<p>All this happened before my coming to Thornycroft Farm, but it
+was I who named the hero and heroines of the romance when 
+Ph&oelig;be had told me all the particulars.&nbsp; Yesterday 
+morning I was sitting by my open window.&nbsp; It was warm, 
+sunny, and still, but in the country sounds travel far, and I 
+could hear fowl conversation in various parts of the poultry-yard
+as well as in all the outlying bits of territory occupied by our 
+feathered friends.&nbsp; Hens have only three words and a scream 
+in their language, but ducks, having more thoughts to express, 
+converse quite fluently, so fluently, in fact, that it reminds me
+of dinner at the Hydropathic Hotel.&nbsp; I fancy I have learned 
+to distinguish seven separate sounds, each varied by degrees of 
+intensity, and with upward or downward inflections like the 
+Chinese tongue.</p>
+<p>In the distance, then, I heard the faint voice of a duck 
+calling as if breathless and excited.&nbsp; While I wondered what
+was happening, I saw Miss Crippletoes struggling up the steep 
+bank above the duck-pond.&nbsp; It was the quickest way from the 
+water to the house, but difficult for the little lame webbed 
+feet.&nbsp; When she reached the level grass sward she sank down 
+a moment, exhausted; but when she could speak again she cried 
+out, a sharp staccato call, and ran forward.</p>
+<p>Instantly she was answered from a distant knoll, where for 
+some reason Sir Muscovy loved to retire for meditation.&nbsp; The
+cries grew lower and softer as the birds approached each other, 
+and they met at the corner just under my window.&nbsp; Instantly 
+they put their two bills together and the loud cries changed to 
+confiding murmurs.&nbsp; Evidently some hurried questions and 
+answers passed between them, and then Sir Muscovy waddled rapidly
+by the quickest path, Miss Crippletoes following him at a slower 
+pace, and both passed out of sight, using their wings to help 
+their feet down the steep declivity.&nbsp; The next morning, when
+I wakened early, my first thought was to look out, and there on 
+the sunny greensward where they were accustomed to be fed, Sir 
+Muscovy, Lady Blanche, and their humble maid, Malardina 
+Crippletoes, were scattering their own breakfast before the bills
+of twelve beautiful golden balls of ducklings.&nbsp; The little 
+creatures could never have climbed the bank, but must have 
+started from their nest at dawn, coming round by the brook to the
+level at the foot of the garden, and so by slow degrees up to the
+house.</p>
+<p>Judging from what I heard and knew of their habits, I am sure 
+the excitement of the previous morning was occasioned by the 
+hatching of the eggs, and that Lady Blanche had hastily sent her 
+friend to call Sir Muscovy, the family remaining together until 
+they could bring the babies with them and display their beauty to
+Ph&oelig;be and me.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER X</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 14th.</p>
+<p>We are not wholly without the pleasures of the town in Barbury
+Green.&nbsp; Once or twice in a summer, late on a Saturday 
+afternoon, a procession of red and yellow vans drives into a 
+field near the centre of the village.&nbsp; By the time the vans 
+are unpacked all the children in the community are surrounding 
+the gate of entrance.&nbsp; There is rifle-shooting, there is 
+fortune-telling, there are games of pitch and toss, and swings, 
+and French bagatelle; and, to crown all, a wonderful orchestrion 
+that goes by steam.&nbsp; The water is boiled for the 
+public&rsquo;s tea, and at the same time thrilling strains of 
+melody are flung into the air.&nbsp; There is at present only one
+tune in the orchestrion&rsquo;s repertory, but it is a very good 
+tune; though after hearing it three hundred and seven times in a 
+single afternoon, it pursues one, sleeping and waking, for the 
+next week.&nbsp; Ph&oelig;be and I took the Square Baby and went 
+in to this diversified entertainment.&nbsp; There was a small 
+crowd of children at the entrance, but as none of them seemed to 
+be provided with pennies, and I felt in a fairy godmother mood, I
+offered them the freedom of the place at my expense.</p>
+<p>I never purchased more radiant good-will for less money, but 
+the combined effect of the well-boiled tea and the boiling 
+orchestrion produced many village nightmares, so the mothers told
+me at chapel next morning.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">* * * * *</p>
+<p>I have many friends in Barbury Green, and often have a 
+pleasant chat with the draper, and the watchmaker, and the 
+chemist.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p74b.jpg">
+<img alt="The freedom of the place at my expense" 
+src="images/p74s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The last house on the principal street is rather an ugly one, 
+with especially nice window curtains.&nbsp; As I was taking my 
+daily walk to the post-office (an entirely unfruitful expedition 
+thus far, as nobody has taken the pains to write to me) I saw a 
+nursemaid coming out of the gate, wheeling a baby in a 
+perambulator.&nbsp; She was going placidly away from the Green 
+when, far in the distance, she espied a man walking rapidly 
+toward us, a heavy Gladstone bag in one hand.&nbsp; She gazed 
+fixedly for a moment, her eyes brightening and her cheeks 
+flushing with pleasure,&mdash;whoever it was, it was an 
+unexpected arrival;&mdash;then she retraced her steps and, 
+running up the garden-path, opened the front door and held an 
+excited colloquy with somebody; a slender somebody in a nice 
+print gown and neatly-dressed hair, who came to the gate and 
+peeped beyond the hedge several times, drawing back between peeps
+with smiles and heightened colour.&nbsp; She did not run down the
+road, even when she had satisfied herself of the identity of the 
+traveller; perhaps that would not have been good form in an 
+English village, for there were houses on the opposite side of 
+the way.&nbsp; She waited until he opened the gate, the nursemaid
+took the bag and looked discreetly into the hedge, then the 
+mistress slipped her hand through the traveller&rsquo;s arm and 
+walked up the path as if she had nothing else in the world to 
+wish for.&nbsp; The nurse had a part in the joy, for she lifted 
+the baby out of the perambulator and showed proudly how much he 
+had grown.</p>
+<p>It was a dear little scene, and I, a passer-by, had shared in 
+it and felt better for it.&nbsp; I think their content was no 
+less because part of it had enriched my life, for happiness, like
+mercy, is twice blessed; it blesses those who are most intimately
+associated in it, and it blesses all those who see it, hear it, 
+feel it, touch it, or breathe the same atmosphere.&nbsp; A 
+laughing, crowing baby in a house, one cheerful woman singing 
+about her work, a boy whistling at the plough, a romance just 
+suspected, with its miracle of two hearts melting into 
+one&mdash;the wind&rsquo;s always in the west when you have any 
+of these wonder-workers in your neighbourhood.</p>
+<p>I have talks too, sometimes, with the old parson, who lives in
+a quaint house with &ldquo;<i>Parva Domus Magna Quies</i>&rdquo; 
+cut into the stone over the doorway.&nbsp; He is not a preaching 
+parson, but a retired one, almost the nicest kind, I often 
+think.</p>
+<p>He has been married thirty years, he tells me; thirty years, 
+spent in the one little house with the bricks painted red and 
+grey alternately, and the scarlet holly-hocks growing under the 
+windows.&nbsp; I am sure they have been sweet, true, kind years, 
+and that his heart must be a quiet, peaceful place just like his 
+house and garden.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I was only eleven years old when I fell in love with my
+wife,&rdquo; he told me as we sat on the seat under the 
+lime-tree; he puffing cosily at his pipe, I plaiting grasses for 
+a hatband.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p77b.jpg">
+<img alt="Puffing cosily at his pipe" src="images/p77s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>&ldquo;It was just before Sunday-school.&nbsp; Her mother had 
+dressed her all in white muslin like a fairy, but she had stepped
+on the edge of a puddle, and some of the muddy water had 
+bespattered her frock.&nbsp; A circle of children had surrounded 
+her, and some of the motherly little girls were on their knees 
+rubbing at the spots anxiously, while one of them wiped away the 
+tears that were running down her pretty cheeks.&nbsp; I 
+looked!&nbsp; It was fatal!&nbsp; I did not look again, but I was
+smitten to the very heart!&nbsp; I did not speak to her for six 
+years, but when I did, it was all right with both of us, thank 
+God! and I&rsquo;ve been in love with her ever since, when she 
+behaves herself!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>That is the way they speak of love in Barbury Green, and oh! 
+how much sweeter and more wholesome it is than the language of 
+the town!&nbsp; Who would not be a Goose Girl, &ldquo;to win the 
+secret of the weed&rsquo;s plain heart&rdquo;?&nbsp; It seems to 
+me that in society we are always gazing at magic-lantern shows, 
+but here we rest our tired eyes with looking at the stars.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER XI</h2>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p79b.jpg">
+<img alt="A Hen Conference" src="images/p79s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 16th.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be and I have been to a Hen Conference at 
+Buffington.&nbsp; It was for the purpose of raising the standard 
+of the British Hen, and our local Countess, who is much 
+interested in poultry, was in the chair.</p>
+<p>It was a very learned body, but Ph&oelig;be had coached me so 
+well that at the noon recess I could talk confidently with the 
+members, discussing the various advantages of True and Crossed 
+Minorcas, Feverels, Andalusians, Cochin Chinas, Shanghais, and 
+the White Leghorn.&nbsp; (Ph&oelig;be, when she pronounces this 
+word, leaves out the &ldquo;h&rdquo; and bears down heavily on 
+the last syllable, so that it rhymes with begone!)</p>
+<p>As I was sitting under the trees waiting for Ph&oelig;be to 
+finish some shopping in the village, a travelling poultry-dealer 
+came along and offered to sell me a silver Wyandotte pullet and 
+cockerel.&nbsp; This was a new breed to me and I asked the price,
+which proved to be more than I should pay for a hat in Bond 
+Street.&nbsp; I hesitated, thinking meantime what a delightful 
+parting gift they would be for Ph&oelig;be; I mean if we ever 
+should part, which seems more and more unlikely, as I shall never
+leave Thornycroft until somebody comes properly to fetch me; 
+indeed, unless the &ldquo;fetching&rdquo; is done somewhat 
+speedily I may decline to go under any circumstances.&nbsp; My 
+indecision as to the purchase was finally banished when the 
+poultryman asserted that the fowls had clear open centres all 
+over, black lacing entirely round the white centres, were free 
+from white edging, and each had a cherry-red eye.&nbsp; This 
+catalogue of charms inflamed my imagination, though it gave me no
+mental picture of a silver Wyandotte fowl, and I paid the money 
+while the dealer crammed the chicks, squawking into my 
+five-o&rsquo;clock tea-basket.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p81b.jpg">
+<img alt="Arguing questions of diet" src="images/p81s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The afternoon session of the conference was most exciting, for
+we reached the subject of imported eggs, an industry that is 
+assuming terrifying proportions.&nbsp; The London hotel egg comes
+from Denmark, it seems,&mdash;I should think by sailing vessel, 
+not steamer, but I may be wrong.&nbsp; After we had settled that 
+the British Hen should be protected and encouraged, and agreed 
+solemnly to abstain from Danish eggs in any form, and made a 
+resolution stating that our loyalty to Queen Alexandra would 
+remain undiminished, we argued the subject of hen diet.&nbsp; 
+There was a great difference of opinion here and the discussion 
+was heated; the honorary treasurer standing for pulped mangold 
+and flint grit, the chair insisting on barley meal and randans, 
+while one eloquent young woman declared, to loud cries of 
+&ldquo;&rsquo;Ear, &rsquo;ear!&rdquo; that rice pudding and bone 
+chips produce more eggs to the square hen than any other sort of 
+food.&nbsp; Impassioned orators arose here and there in the 
+audience demanding recognition for beef scraps, charcoal, round 
+corn or buckwheat.&nbsp; Foods were regarded from various 
+standpoints: as general invigorators, growth assisters, and egg 
+producers.&nbsp; A very handsome young farmer carried off final 
+honours, and proved to the satisfaction of all the feminine 
+poultry-raisers that green young hog bones fresh cut in the 
+Banner Bone Breaker (of which he was the agent) possessed a 
+nutritive value not to be expressed in human language.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p82b.jpg">
+<img alt="The afternoon session was most exciting" 
+src="images/p82s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be was distinctly nervous when I rose to say a few 
+words on poultry breeding, announcing as my topic &ldquo;Mothers,
+Stepmothers, Foster-Mothers, and Incubators.&rdquo;&nbsp; 
+Protected by the consciousness that no one in the assemblage 
+could possibly know me, I made a distinct success in my maiden 
+speech; indeed, I somewhat overshot the mark, for the Countess in
+the chair sent me a note asking me to dine with her that 
+evening.&nbsp; I suppressed the note and took Ph&oelig;be away 
+before the proceedings were finished, vanishing from the scene of
+my triumphs like a veiled prophet.</p>
+<p>Just as we were passing out the door we paused to hear the 
+report of a special committee whose chairman read the following 
+resolutions:&mdash;</p>
+<p><i>Whereas</i>,&mdash;It has pleased the Almighty to remove 
+from our midst our greatest Rose Comb Buff Orpington fancier and 
+esteemed friend, Albert Edward Sheridain; therefore be it</p>
+<p><i>Resolved</i>,&mdash;That the next edition of our catalogue 
+contain an illustrated memorial page in his honour and</p>
+<p><i>Resolved</i>,&mdash;That the Rose Comb Buff Orpington Club 
+extend to the bereaved family their heartfelt sympathy.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p84b.jpg">
+<img alt="Not asked to the Conference" src="images/p84s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>The handsome young farmer followed us out to our trap, invited
+us to attend the next meeting of the R. C. B. O. Club, of which 
+he was the secretary, and asked if I were intending to 
+&ldquo;show.&rdquo;&nbsp; I introduced Ph&oelig;be as the senior 
+partner, and she concealed the fact that we possessed but one 
+Buff Orpington, and he was a sad &ldquo;invaleed&rdquo; not 
+suitable for exhibition.&nbsp; The farmer&rsquo;s expression as 
+he looked at me was almost lover-like, and when he pressed a bit 
+of paper into my hand I was sure it must be an offer of 
+marriage.&nbsp; It was in fact only a circular describing the 
+Banner Bone Breaker.&nbsp; It closed with an appeal to Buff 
+Orpington breeders to raise and ever raise the standard, bidding 
+them remember, in the midst of a low-minded and sordid 
+civilisation, that the rose comb should be small and neat, firmly
+set on, with good working, a nice spike at the back lying well 
+down to head, and never, under any circumstances, never sticking 
+up.&nbsp; This adjuration somewhat alarmed us as Ph&oelig;be and 
+I had been giving our Buff Orpington cockerel the most drastic 
+remedies for his languid and prostrate comb.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p85b.jpg">
+<img alt="Coming home" src="images/p85s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Coming home we alighted from the trap to gather hogweed for 
+the rabbits.&nbsp; I sat by the wayside lazily and let 
+Ph&oelig;be gather the appetising weed, which grows along the 
+thorniest hedges in close proximity to nettles and thistles.</p>
+<p>Workmen were trudging along with their luncheon-baskets of 
+woven bulrushes slung over their shoulders.&nbsp; Fields of 
+ripening grain lay on either hand, the sun shining on their every
+shade of green and yellow, bronze and orange, while the breeze 
+stirred the bearded barley into a rippling golden sea.</p>
+<p>Ph&oelig;be asked me if the people I had left behind at the 
+Hydropathic were my relatives.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Some of them are of remote consanguinity,&rdquo; I 
+responded evasively, and the next question was hushed upon her 
+awe-stricken tongue, as I intended.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;They are obeying my wish to be let alone, there&rsquo;s
+no doubt of that,&rdquo; I was thinking.&nbsp; &ldquo;For my 
+part, I like a little more spirit, and a little less 
+&lsquo;letter&rsquo;!&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p87b.jpg">
+<img alt="Workmen were trudging home" src="images/p87s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>As the word &ldquo;letter&rdquo; flitted through my thoughts, 
+I pulled one from my pocket and glanced through it 
+carelessly.&nbsp; It arrived, somewhat tardily, only last night, 
+or I should not have had it with me.&nbsp; I wore the same dress 
+to the post-office yesterday that I wore to the Hen Conference 
+to-day, and so it chanced to be still in the pocket.&nbsp; If it 
+had been anything I valued, of course I should have lost or 
+destroyed it by mistake; it is only silly, worthless little 
+things like this that keep turning up and turning up after one 
+has forgotten their existence.</p>
+<blockquote><p>&ldquo;You are a mystery!&rdquo; [it ran.]&nbsp; 
+&ldquo;I can apprehend, but not comprehend you.&nbsp; I know you 
+in part.&nbsp; I understand various bits of your nature; but my 
+knowledge is always fragmentary and disconnected, and when I 
+attempt to make a whole of the mosaics I merely get a 
+kaleidoscopic effect.&nbsp; Do you know those geographical 
+dissected puzzles that they give to children?&nbsp; You remind me
+of one of them.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I have spent many charming (and dangerous) hours trying
+to &lsquo;put you together&rsquo;; but I find, when I examine my 
+picture closely, that after all I&rsquo;ve made a purple mountain
+grow out of a green tree; that my river is running up a steep 
+hillside; and that the pretty milkmaid, who should be wandering 
+in the forest, is standing on her head with her pail in the 
+air</p>
+<p>&ldquo;Do you understand yourself clearly?&nbsp; Or is it just
+possible that when you dive to the depths of your own 
+consciousness, you sometimes find the pretty milkmaid standing on
+her head?&nbsp; I wonder!&rdquo; . . .</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>Ah, well, it is no wonder that he wonders!&nbsp;&nbsp; So do 
+I, for that matter!</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p89b.jpg">
+<img alt="Along the highway" src="images/p89s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 17th.</p>
+<p>Thornycroft Farm seems to be the musical centre of the 
+universe.</p>
+<p>When I wake very early in the morning I lie in a drowsy sort 
+of dream, trying to disentangle, one from the other, the various 
+bird notes, trills, coos, croons, chirps, chirrups, and 
+warbles.&nbsp; Suddenly there falls on the air a delicious, 
+liquid, finished song; so pure, so mellow, so joyous, that I go 
+to the window and look out at the morning world, half awakened, 
+like myself.</p>
+<p>There is I know not what charm in a window that does not push 
+up, but opens its lattices out into the greenness.&nbsp; And mine
+is like a little jewelled door, for the sun is shining from 
+behind the chimneys and lighting the tiny diamond panes with 
+amber flashes.</p>
+<p>A faint delicate haze lies over the meadow, and rising out of 
+it, and soaring toward the blue is the lark, flinging out that 
+matchless matin song, so rich, so thrilling, so lavish!&nbsp; As 
+the blithe melody fades away, I hear the plaintive 
+ballad-fragments of the robin on a curtsying branch near my 
+window; and there is always the liquid pipe of the thrush, who 
+must quaff a fairy goblet of dew between his songs, I should 
+think, so fresh and eternally young is his note.</p>
+<p>There is another beautiful song that I follow whenever I hear 
+it, straining my eyes to the treetops, yet never finding a bird 
+that I can identify as the singer.&nbsp; Can it be the&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>&ldquo;Ousel-cock so black of hue,<br />
+With orange-tawny bill&rdquo;?</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>He is called the poet-laureate of the primrose time, but I 
+don&rsquo;t know whether he sings in midsummer, and I have not 
+seen him hereabouts.&nbsp; I must write and ask my dear Man of 
+the North.&nbsp; The Man of the North, I sometimes think, had a 
+Fairy Grandmother who was a robin; and perhaps she made a nest of
+fresh moss and put him in the green wood when he was a wee 
+bairnie, so that he waxed wise in bird-lore without knowing 
+it.&nbsp; At all events, describe to him the cock of a head, the 
+glance of an eye, the tip-up of a tail, or the sheen of a 
+feather, and he will name you the bird.&nbsp; Near-sighted he is,
+too, the Man of the North, but that is only for people.</p>
+<p>The Square Baby and I have a new game.</p>
+<p>I bought a doll&rsquo;s table and china tea-set in 
+Buffington.&nbsp; We put it under an apple-tree in the side 
+garden, where the scarlet lightning grows so tall and the Madonna
+lilies stand so white against the flaming background.&nbsp; We 
+built a little fence around it, and every afternoon at tea-time 
+we sprinkle seeds and crumbs in the dishes, water in the tiny 
+cups, drop a cherry in each of the fruit-plates, and have a 
+<i>th&eacute; chantant</i> for the birdies.&nbsp; We sometimes 
+invite an &ldquo;invaleed&rdquo; duckling, or one of the baby 
+rabbits, or the peacock, in which case the cards read:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p style="text-align: center"><i>Thornycroft 
+Farm</i>.<br />
+The pleasure of your company is requested<br />
+at a<br />
+<i>Th&eacute; Chantant</i><br />
+Under the Apple Tree.<br />
+Music at five.</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>It is a charming game, as I say, but I&rsquo;d far rather play
+it with the Man of the North; he is so much younger than the 
+Square Baby, and so much more responsive, too.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p92b.jpg">
+<img alt="The scent of the hay" src="images/p92s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Thornycroft Farm is a sweet place, too, of odours as well as 
+sounds.&nbsp; The scent of the hay is for ever in the nostrils, 
+the hedges are thick with wild honeysuckle, so deliciously 
+fragrant, the last of the June roses are lingering to do their 
+share, and blackberry blossoms and ripening fruit as well.</p>
+<p>I have never known a place in which it is so easy to be 
+good.&nbsp; I have not said a word, nor scarcely harboured a 
+thought, that was not lovely and virtuous since I entered these 
+gates, and yet there are those who think me fantastic, difficult,
+hard to please, unreasonable!</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p93b.jpg">
+<img alt="The last of June" src="images/p93s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>I believe the saints must have lived in the country mostly (I 
+am certain they never tried Hydropathic hotels), and why anybody 
+with a black heart and natural love of wickedness should not 
+simply buy a poultry farm and become an angel, I cannot 
+understand.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p94b.jpg">
+<img alt="A place in which it is so easy to be good" 
+src="images/p94s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Living with animals is really a very improving and wholesome 
+kind of life, to the person who will allow himself to be 
+influenced by their sensible and high-minded ideals.&nbsp; When 
+you come to think about it, man is really the only animal that 
+ever makes a fool of himself; the others are highly civilised, 
+and never make mistakes.&nbsp; I am going to mention this when I 
+write to somebody, sometime; I mean if I ever do.&nbsp; To be 
+sure, our human life is much more complicated than theirs, and I 
+believe when the other animals notice our errors of judgment they
+make allowances.&nbsp; The bee is as busy as a bee, and the 
+beaver works like a beaver, but there their responsibility 
+ends.&nbsp; The bee doesn&rsquo;t have to go about seeing that 
+other bees are not crowded into unsanitary tenements or 
+victimised by the sweating system.&nbsp; When the beaver&rsquo;s 
+day of toil is over he doesn&rsquo;t have to discuss the sphere, 
+the rights, or the voting privileges of beaveresses; all he has 
+to do is to work like a beaver, and that is comparatively 
+simple.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p96b.jpg">
+<img alt="Not particularly attracted by the poultry" 
+src="images/p96s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>I have been studying <i>The Young Poultry Keeper&rsquo;s 
+Friend</i> of late.&nbsp; If there is anything I dislike and 
+deplore, it is the possession of knowledge which I cannot put to 
+practical use.&nbsp; Having discovered an interesting disease 
+called Scaly Leg in the July number, I took the magazine out into
+the poultry-yard and identified the malady on three hens and a 
+cock.&nbsp; Ph&oelig;be joined me in the diagnosis and we treated
+the victims with a carbolic lotion and scrubbed them with 
+vaseline.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p97b.jpg">
+<img alt="Leaned languidly against the netting" 
+src="images/p97s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>As Ph&oelig;be and I grow wise in medical lore the case of 
+Cannibal Ann assumes a different aspect.&nbsp; As the bibulous 
+man quaffs more and more flagons of beer and wine when his daily 
+food is ham, salt fish, and cabbage, so does the hen avenge her 
+wrongs of diet and woes of environment.&nbsp; Cannibal Ann, 
+herself, has, so far as we know, been raised in a Christian 
+manner and enjoyed all the advantages of modern methods; but her 
+maternal parent may have lived in some heathen poultry-yard which
+was asphalted or bricked or flagged, so that she was debarred 
+from scratching in Mother Earth and was forced to eat her own 
+shells in self-defence.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">* * * * *</p>
+<p>The Square Baby is not particularly attracted by the poultry 
+as a whole, save when it is boiled with bacon or roasted with 
+bread-sauce; but he is much interested in the 
+&ldquo;invaleeds.&rdquo;&nbsp; Whenever Ph&oelig;be and I start 
+for the hospital with the tobacco-pills, the tin of paraffin, and
+the bottle of oil, he is very much in evidence.&nbsp; Perhaps he 
+has a natural leaning toward the medical profession; at any rate,
+when pain and anguish wring the brow, he is in close attendance 
+upon the ministering angels.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p98.jpg">
+<img alt="Staggered and reeled" src="images/p98.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Now it is necessary for the physician to have practice as well
+as theory, so the Square Baby, being left to himself this 
+afternoon, proceeded to perfect himself in some of the healing 
+arts used by country practitioners.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p99b.jpg">
+<img alt="Caught her son red-handed" src="images/p99s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>When discovered, he was seated in front of the wire-covered 
+&ldquo;run&rdquo; attached to a coop occupied by the youngest 
+goslings.&nbsp; A couple of bottles and a box stood by his side, 
+and I should think he had administered a cup of sweet oil, a pint
+of paraffin, and a quarter of a pound of tobacco during his 
+clinic.&nbsp; He had used the remedies impartially, sometimes 
+giving the paraffin internally and rubbing the patient&rsquo;s 
+head with tobacco or oil, sometimes the reverse.</p>
+<p>Several goslings leaned languidly against the netting, or 
+supported themselves by the edge of the water-dish, while others 
+staggered and reeled about with eyes half closed.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p100b.jpg">
+<img alt="He was treated summarily and smartly" 
+src="images/p100s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>It was Mrs. Heaven who caught her son red-handed, so to 
+speak.&nbsp; She was dressed in her best, and just driving off to
+Woodmucket to spend a day or two with her married daughter, and 
+soothe her nerves with the uproar incident to a town of six 
+hundred inhabitants.&nbsp; She delayed her journey a 
+half-hour&mdash;long enough, in fact, to change her black silk 
+waist for a loose sacque which would give her arms full and 
+comfortable play.&nbsp; The joy and astonishment that greeted the
+Square Baby on his advent, five years ago, was forgotten for the 
+first time in his brief life, and he was treated precisely as any
+ordinary wrongdoer would have been treated under the same 
+circumstances, summarily and smartly; the &ldquo;wepping,&rdquo; 
+as Ph&oelig;be would say, being Mrs. Heaven&rsquo;s hand.</p>
+<p>All but one of the goslings lived, like thousands of others 
+who recover in spite of the doctors, but the Square Baby&rsquo;s 
+interest in the healing art is now perceptibly lessened.</p>
+<h2>CHAPTER XIV</h2>
+<p style="text-align: right">July 18th.</p>
+<p>The day was Friday; Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s day to go to 
+Buffington with eggs and chickens and rabbits; her day to solicit
+orders for ducklings and goslings.&nbsp; The village cart was 
+ready in the stable; Mr. and Mrs. Heaven were in Woodmucket; I 
+was eating my breakfast (which I remember was an egg and a 
+rasher) when Ph&oelig;be came in, a figure of woe.</p>
+<p>The Square Baby was ill, very ill, and would not permit her to
+leave him and go to market.&nbsp; Would I look at him?&nbsp; For 
+he must have dowsed &rsquo;imself as well as the goslings 
+yesterday; anyways he was strong of paraffin and tobacco, though 
+he &rsquo;ad &rsquo;ad a good barth.</p>
+<p>I prescribed for Albert Edward, who was as uncomfortable and 
+feverish as any little sinner in the county of Sussex, and I then
+promptly proposed going to Buffington in Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s 
+place.</p>
+<p>She did not think it at all proper, and said that, 
+notwithstanding my cotton gown and sailor hat, I looked quite, 
+quite the lydy, and it would never do.</p>
+<p>&ldquo;I cannot get any new orders,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;but 
+I can certainly leave the rabbits and eggs at the customary 
+places.&nbsp; I know Argent&rsquo;s Dining Parlours, and 
+Songhurst&rsquo;s Tea Rooms, and the Six Bells Inn, as well as 
+you do.&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p103b.jpg">
+<img alt="The Six Bells found the last poultry somewhat tough" 
+src="images/p103s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>So, donning a pair of Ph&oelig;be&rsquo;s large white cotton 
+gloves with open-work wrists (than which I always fancy there is 
+no one article that so disguises the perfect lydy), I set out 
+upon my travels, upborne by a lively sense of amusement that was 
+at least equal to my feeling that I was doing Ph&oelig;be Heaven 
+a good turn.</p>
+<p>Prices in dressed poultry were fluctuating, but I had a copy 
+of <i>The Trade Review</i>, issued that very day, and was able to
+get some idea of values and the state of the market as I jogged 
+along.&nbsp; The general movement, I learned, was moderate and of
+a &ldquo;selective&rdquo; character.&nbsp; Choice large capons 
+and ducks were in steady demand, but I blushed for my profession 
+when I read that roasting chickens were running coarse, staggy, 
+and of irregular value.&nbsp; Old hens were held firmly at 
+sixpence, and it is my experience that they always have to be, at
+whatever price.&nbsp; Geese were plenty, dull, and weak.&nbsp; 
+Old cocks,&mdash;why don&rsquo;t they say 
+roosters?&mdash;declined to threepence ha&rsquo;penny on Thursday
+in sympathy with fowls,&mdash;and who shall say that chivalry is 
+dead?&nbsp; Turkeys were a trifle steadier, and there was a 
+speculative movement in limed eggs.&nbsp; All this was 
+illuminating, and I only wished I were quite certain whether the 
+sympathetic old roosters were threepence ha&rsquo;penny apiece, 
+or a pound.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p105.jpg">
+<img alt="The gadabout hen" src="images/p105.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>Everything happened as it should, on this first business 
+journey of my life, which is equivalent to saying that nothing 
+happened at all.&nbsp; Songhurst&rsquo;s Tea Rooms took five 
+dozen eggs and told me to bring six dozen the next week.&nbsp; 
+Argent&rsquo;s Dining Parlours purchased three pairs of chickens 
+and four rabbits.&nbsp; The Six Bells found the last poultry 
+somewhat tough and tasteless; whereupon I said that our orders 
+were more than we could possibly fill, still I hoped we could go 
+on &ldquo;selling them,&rdquo; as we never liked to part with old
+customers, no matter how many new ones there were.&nbsp; 
+Privately, I understood the complaint only too well, for I knew 
+the fowls in question very intimately.&nbsp; Two of them were the
+runaway rooster and the gadabout hen that never wanted to go to 
+bed with the others.&nbsp; The third was Cannibal Ann.&nbsp; I 
+should have expected them to be tough, but I cannot believe they 
+were lacking in flavour.</p>
+<p>The only troublesome feature of the trip was that Mrs. 
+Sowerbutt&rsquo;s lodgers had suddenly left for London and she 
+was unable to take the four rabbits as she had hoped; but as an 
+offset to that piece of ill-fortune the Coke and Coal Yard and 
+the Bicycle Repairing Rooms came out into the street, and, 
+stepping up to the trap, requested regular weekly deliveries of 
+eggs and chickens, and hoped that I would be able to bring them 
+myself.&nbsp; And so, in a happy frame of mind, I turned out of 
+the Buffington main street, and was jogging along homeward, when 
+a very startling thing happened; namely, a whole verse of the 
+Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter of Islington:&mdash;</p>
+<blockquote><p>&ldquo;And as she went along the high road,<br />
+The weather being hot and dry,<br />
+She sat her down upon a green bank,<br />
+And her true love came riding by.&rdquo;</p>
+</blockquote>
+<p>That true lovers are given to riding by, in ballads, I know 
+very well, but I hardly supposed they did so in real life, 
+especially when every precaution had been taken to avert such a 
+catastrophe.&nbsp; I had told the Barbury Green postmistress, on 
+the morning of my arrival, not to give the Thornycroft address to
+anybody whatsoever, but finding, as the days passed, that no one 
+was bold enough or sensible enough to ask for it, I haughtily 
+withdrew my prohibition.&nbsp; About this time I began sending 
+envelopes, carefully addressed in a feigned hand, to a certain 
+person at the Oxenbridge Hydro.&nbsp; These envelopes contained 
+no word of writing, but held, on one day, only a bit of down from
+a hen&rsquo;s breast, on another, a goose-quill, on another, a 
+glossy tail-feather, on another, a grain of corn, and so 
+on.&nbsp; These trifles were regarded by me not as degrading or 
+unmaidenly hints and suggestions, but simply as tests of 
+intelligence.&nbsp; Could a man receive tokens of this sort and 
+fail to put two and two together?&nbsp; I feel that I might 
+possibly support life with a domineering and autocratic 
+husband,&mdash;and there is every prospect that I shall be called
+upon to do so,&mdash;but not with a stupid one.&nbsp; Suppose one
+were linked for ever to a man capable of asking,&mdash;&ldquo;Did
+<i>you</i> send those feathers? . . . How was I to guess? . . . 
+How was a fellow to know they came from you? . . . What on earth 
+could I suppose they meant? . . . What clue did they offer me as 
+to your whereabouts? . . . Am I a Sherlock 
+Holmes?&rdquo;&mdash;No, better eternal celibacy than marriage 
+with such a being!</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p107b.jpg">
+<img alt="She was unable to take the four rabbits" 
+src="images/p107s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p>These were the thoughts that had been coursing through my 
+goose-girl mind while I had been selling dressed poultry, but in 
+some way they had not prepared me for the appearance of the 
+aforesaid true love.</p>
+<p>To see the very person whom one has left civilisation to avoid
+is always more or less surprising, and to make the meeting less 
+likely, Buffington is even farther from Oxenbridge than Barbury 
+Green.&nbsp; The creature was well mounted (ominous, when he came
+to override my caprice!) and he looked bigger, and, yes, 
+handsomer, though that doesn&rsquo;t signify, and still more 
+determined than when I saw him last; although goodness knows that
+timidity and feebleness of purpose were not in striking evidence 
+on that memorable occasion.&nbsp; I had drawn up under the shade 
+of a tree ostensibly to eat some cherries, thinking that if I 
+turned my face away I might pass unrecognised.&nbsp; It was a 
+stupid plan, for if I had whipped up the mare and driven on, he 
+of course, would have had to follow, and he has too much dignity 
+and self-respect to shriek recriminations into a woman&rsquo;s 
+ear from a distance.</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p109b.jpg">
+<img alt="The creature was well mounted" src="images/p109s.jpg" 
+/>
+</a></p>
+<p>He approached with deliberation, reined in his horse, and 
+lifted his hat ceremoniously.&nbsp; He has an extremely shapely 
+head, but I did not show that the sight of it melted in the least
+the ice of my resolve; whereupon we talked, not very freely at 
+first,&mdash;men are so stiff when they consider themselves 
+injured.&nbsp; However, silence is even more embarrassing than 
+conversation, so at length I begin:&mdash;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;It is a lovely 
+day.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Yes, but the drought is getting
+rather oppressive, don&rsquo;t you think?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;The crops 
+certainly need rain, and the feed is becoming scarce.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Are you a farmer&rsquo;s 
+wife?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Oh no! that is a
+promotion to look forward to; I am now only a Goose 
+Girl.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Indeed!&nbsp; If I wished to be
+severe I might remark: that I am sure you have found at last your
+true vocation!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;It was certainly
+through no desire to please <i>you</i> that I chose 
+it.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I am quite sure of that!&nbsp; 
+Are you staying in this part?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Oh no!&nbsp; I 
+live many miles distant, over an extremely rough road.&nbsp; And 
+you?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I am still at the Hydropathic; 
+or at least my luggage is there.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;It must be very 
+pleasant to attract you so long.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Not so pleasant as it 
+was.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;No?&nbsp; A new 
+proprietor, I suppose.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;No; same proprietor; but the 
+house is empty.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (yawning 
+purposely).&mdash;&ldquo;That is strange; the hotels are usually 
+so full at this season.&nbsp; Why did so many leave?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;As a matter of fact, only one 
+left.&nbsp; &lsquo;Full&rsquo; and &lsquo;empty&rsquo; are purely
+relative terms.&nbsp; I call a hotel full when it has you in it, 
+empty when it hasn&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (dying to laugh, but 
+concealing her feelings).&mdash;&ldquo;I trust my bulk does not 
+make the same impression on the general public!&nbsp; Well, I 
+won&rsquo;t detain you longer; good afternoon; I must go home to 
+my evening work.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I will accompany 
+you.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;If you are a 
+gentleman you will remain where you are.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;In the road?&nbsp; Perhaps; but
+if I am a man I shall follow you; they always do, I notice.&nbsp;
+What are those foolish bundles in the back of that silly 
+cart?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Feed for the 
+pony, please, sir; fish for dinner; randans and barley meal for 
+the poultry; and four unsold rabbits.&nbsp; Wouldn&rsquo;t you 
+like them?&nbsp; Only one and sixpence apiece.&nbsp; Shot at 
+three o&rsquo;clock this morning.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Thanks; I don&rsquo;t like mine
+shot so early.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Oh, well! 
+doubtless I shall be able to dispose of them on my way home, 
+though times is &rsquo;ard!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Do you mean that you will 
+&ldquo;peddle&rdquo; them along the road?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;You understand 
+me better than usual,&mdash;in fact to perfection.&rdquo;</p>
+<p>He dismounts and strides to the back of the cart, lifts the 
+covers, seizes the rabbits, flings some silver contemptuously 
+into the basket, and looks about him for a place to bury his 
+bargain.&nbsp; A small boy approaching in the far distance will 
+probably bag the game.</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> 
+(modestly).&mdash;&ldquo;Thanks for your trade, sir, rather 
+ungraciously bestowed, and we &rsquo;opes for a continuance of 
+your past fyvors.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (leaning on the wheel of the 
+trap).&mdash;&ldquo;Let us stop this nonsense.&nbsp; What did you
+hope to gain by running away?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Distance and 
+absence.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;You knew you couldn&rsquo;t 
+prevent my offering myself to you sometime or other.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Perhaps not; but
+I could at least defer it, couldn&rsquo;t I?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Why postpone the 
+inevitable?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Doubtless I 
+shrank from giving you the pain of a refusal.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Perhaps; but do you know what I
+suspect?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not a 
+suspicious person, thank goodness!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;That, on the contrary, you are 
+wilfully withholding from me the joy of acceptance.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;If I intended to
+accept you, why did I run away?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;To make yourself more desirable
+and precious, I suppose.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (with the most confident 
+coquetry).&mdash;&ldquo;Did I succeed?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;No; you failed 
+utterly.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (secretly 
+piqued).&mdash;&ldquo;Then I am glad I tried it.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;You couldn&rsquo;t succeed 
+because you were superlatively desirable and precious already; 
+but you should never have experimented.&nbsp; Don&rsquo;t you 
+know that Love is a high explosive?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Is it?&nbsp; 
+Then it ought always to be labelled &lsquo;dangerous,&rsquo; 
+oughtn&rsquo;t it?&nbsp; But who thought of suggesting 
+matches?&nbsp; I&rsquo;m sure I didn&rsquo;t!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;No such luck; I wish you 
+would.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;According to 
+your theory, if you apply a match to Love it is likely to 
+&lsquo;go off.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I wish you would try it on mine
+and await the result.&nbsp; Come now, you&rsquo;ll have to marry 
+somebody, sometime.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I confess I 
+don&rsquo;t see the necessity.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (morosely).&mdash;&ldquo;You&rsquo;re the 
+sort of woman men won&rsquo;t leave in undisturbed spinsterhood; 
+they&rsquo;ll keep on badgering you.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Oh, I 
+don&rsquo;t mind the badgering of a number of men; it&rsquo;s 
+rather nice.&nbsp; It&rsquo;s the one badger I find 
+obnoxious.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (impatiently).&mdash;&ldquo;That&rsquo;s just
+the perversity of things.&nbsp; I could put a stop to the 
+protestations of the many; I should like nothing better&mdash;but
+the pertinacity of the one!&nbsp; Ah, well!&nbsp; I can&rsquo;t 
+drop that without putting an end to my existence.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (politely).&mdash;&ldquo;I 
+shouldn&rsquo;t think of suggesting anything so 
+extreme.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (quoting).&mdash;&ldquo;&lsquo;Mrs. Hauksbee 
+proceeded to take the conceit out of Pluffles as you remove the 
+ribs of an umbrella before re-covering.&rsquo;&nbsp; However, you
+couldn&rsquo;t ask me anything seriously that I wouldn&rsquo;t 
+do, dear Mistress Perversity.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> (yielding a 
+point).&mdash;&ldquo;I&rsquo;ll put that boldly to the 
+proof.&nbsp; Say you don&rsquo;t love me!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (seizing his advantage).&mdash;&ldquo;I 
+don&rsquo;t!&nbsp; It&rsquo;s imbecile and besotted 
+devotion!&nbsp; Tell me, when may I come to take you 
+away?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i> 
+(sighing).&mdash;&ldquo;It&rsquo;s like asking me to leave 
+Heaven.&rdquo;</p>
+<p style="text-align: center">
+<a href="images/p115b.jpg">
+<img alt="Ph&oelig;be and Gladwish" src="images/p115s.jpg" />
+</a></p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;I know it; she told me where to
+find you,&mdash;Thornycroft is the seventh poultry-farm 
+I&rsquo;ve visited,&mdash;but you could never leave Heaven, you 
+can&rsquo;t be happy without poultry, why that is a wish easily 
+gratified.&nbsp; I&rsquo;ll get you a farm to-morrow; no, 
+it&rsquo;s Saturday, and the real estate offices close at noon, 
+but on Monday, without fail.&nbsp; Your ducks and geese, always 
+carrying it along with you.&nbsp; All you would have to do is to 
+admit me; Heaven is full of twos.&nbsp; If you shall swim on a 
+crystal lake&mdash;Ph&oelig;be told me what a genius you have for
+getting them out of the muddy pond; she was sitting beside it 
+when I called, her hand in that of a straw-coloured person named 
+Gladwish, and the ground in her vicinity completely strewn with 
+votive offerings.&nbsp; You shall splash your silver sea with an 
+ivory wand; your hens shall have suburban cottages, each with its
+garden; their perches shall be of satin-wood and their water 
+dishes of mother-of-pearl.&nbsp; You shall be the Goose Girl and 
+I will be the Swan Herd&mdash;simply to be near you&mdash;for I 
+hate live poultry.&nbsp; Dost like the picture?&nbsp; It&rsquo;s 
+a little like Claude Melnotte&rsquo;s, I confess.&nbsp; The fact 
+is I am not quite sane; talking with you after a fortnight of the
+tabbies at the Hydro is like quaffing inebriating vodka after 
+Miffin&rsquo;s Food!&nbsp; May I come to-morrow?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiffs Daughter</i> (hedging).&mdash;&ldquo;I shall be 
+rather busy; the Crossed Minorca hen comes off 
+to-morrow.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Oh, never mind!&nbsp; 
+I&rsquo;ll take her off to-night when I escort you to the farm; 
+then she&rsquo;ll get a day&rsquo;s advantage.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;And rob fourteen
+prospective chicks of a mother; nay, lose the chicks 
+themselves?&nbsp; Never!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;So long as you are a Goose 
+Girl, does it make any difference whose you are?&nbsp; Is it any 
+more agreeable to be Mrs. Heaven&rsquo;s Goose Girl than 
+mine?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;Ah! but in one 
+case the term of service is limited; in the other, 
+permanent.&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;But in the one case you are the
+slave of the employer, in the other the employer of the 
+slave.&nbsp; Why did you run away?&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>Bailiff&rsquo;s Daughter</i>.&mdash;&ldquo;A man&rsquo;s 
+mind is too dull an instrument to measure a woman&rsquo;s reason;
+even my own fails sometimes to deal with all its delicate shades;
+but I think I must have run away chiefly to taste the pleasure of
+being pursued and brought back.&nbsp; If it is necessary to your 
+happiness that you should explore all the Bluebeard chambers of 
+my being, I will confess further that it has taken you nearly 
+three weeks to accomplish what I supposed you would do in three 
+days!&rdquo;</p>
+<p><i>True Love</i> (after a well-spent 
+interval).&mdash;&ldquo;To-morrow, then; shall we say before 
+breakfast?&nbsp; All, do!&nbsp; Why not?&nbsp; Well, then, 
+immediately after breakfast, and I breakfast at seven nowadays, 
+and sometimes earlier.&nbsp; Do take off those ugly cotton 
+gloves, dear; they are five sizes too large for you, and so rough
+and baggy to the touch!&rdquo;</p>
+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DIARY OF A GOOSE GIRL***</p>
+<pre>
+
+
+***** This file should be named 1867-h.htm or 1867-h.zip******
+
+
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/8/6/1867
+
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://www.gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit:
+http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+</pre></body>
+</html>
diff --git a/1867-h/images/coverb.jpg b/1867-h/images/coverb.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1dd4eb5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/coverb.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/covers.jpg b/1867-h/images/covers.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2b94d9f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/covers.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p01b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p01b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f938e1e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p01b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p01s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p01s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..91afcf6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p01s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p02.jpg b/1867-h/images/p02.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3629348
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p02.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p100b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p100b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..31905da
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p100b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p100s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p100s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5de111c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p100s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p103b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p103b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..62bad9a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p103b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p103s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p103s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6e08c9f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p103s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p105.jpg b/1867-h/images/p105.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5d4ab8f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p105.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p107b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p107b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9868f18
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p107b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p107s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p107s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..535722b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p107s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p109b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p109b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ef28caa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p109b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p109s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p109s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..916791e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p109s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p10b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p10b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9b784d0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p10b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p10s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p10s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2758ff5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p10s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p115b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p115b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fc19afb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p115b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p115s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p115s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a9c8c14
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p115s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p11b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p11b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4d5dd00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p11b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p11s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p11s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4f699d5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p11s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p13b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p13b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..62dd042
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p13b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p13s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p13s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..445300e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p13s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p14.jpg b/1867-h/images/p14.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e4ded3d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p14.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p17b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p17b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..069fcae
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p17b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p17s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p17s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8631388
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p17s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p19b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p19b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..89d0c46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p19b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p19s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p19s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bb05e43
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p19s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p1ab.jpg b/1867-h/images/p1ab.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1e0db55
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p1ab.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p1as.jpg b/1867-h/images/p1as.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..395357d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p1as.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p1b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p1b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..227d5b3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p1b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p20b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p20b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..343a949
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p20b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p20s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p20s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5e1f2cd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p20s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p21b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p21b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8744620
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p21b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p21s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p21s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..809d99f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p21s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p22.jpg b/1867-h/images/p22.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9f6a168
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p22.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p23.jpg b/1867-h/images/p23.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e22b090
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p23.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p24b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p24b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0603653
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p24b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p24s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p24s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b51aca1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p24s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p25b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p25b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f0d5356
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p25b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p25s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p25s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2ba7464
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p25s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p27b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p27b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4e2e7ea
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p27b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p27s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p27s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1e89312
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p27s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p28.jpg b/1867-h/images/p28.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1c30bdb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p28.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p29.jpg b/1867-h/images/p29.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ebfa01b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p29.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p30b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p30b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a185cd0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p30b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p30s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p30s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f92a075
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p30s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p31b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p31b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b2969b6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p31b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p31s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p31s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ef38c10
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p31s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p33b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p33b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1164532
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p33b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p33s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p33s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f09fa37
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p33s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p34b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p34b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b300b53
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p34b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p34s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p34s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..03a4564
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p34s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p35.jpg b/1867-h/images/p35.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6d0559e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p35.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p36b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p36b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f8406fe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p36b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p36s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p36s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f167aae
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p36s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p3b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p3b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..feefed2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p3b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p3s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p3s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..49a6537
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p3s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p43.jpg b/1867-h/images/p43.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..dcb2c9d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p43.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p46b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p46b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8e34bbf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p46b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p46s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p46s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a3d5f89
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p46s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p51b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p51b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8ec8e73
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p51b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p51s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p51s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..96cb782
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p51s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p53b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p53b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fd03644
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p53b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p53s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p53s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c7b261c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p53s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p54.jpg b/1867-h/images/p54.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..06262f2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p54.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p56b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p56b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b9ca682
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p56b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p56s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p56s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1fd889e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p56s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p59b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p59b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e74291b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p59b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p59s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p59s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..18b113a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p59s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p5b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p5b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f4b45b4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p5b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p5s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p5s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..87a77b1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p5s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p61b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p61b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7c704a1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p61b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p61s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p61s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..50df2a7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p61s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p65b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p65b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..eaf4c23
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p65b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p65s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p65s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c768fc7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p65s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p66.jpg b/1867-h/images/p66.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..244f91e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p66.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p6b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p6b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8e34fe0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p6b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p6s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p6s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..08d014c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p6s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p74b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p74b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b26dcb7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p74b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p74s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p74s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c06903a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p74s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p77b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p77b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..741cf8e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p77b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p77s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p77s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cf0f07e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p77s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p79b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p79b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..001fe3a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p79b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p79s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p79s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6265cdf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p79s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p7b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p7b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..71366df
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p7b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p7s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p7s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..55b85b8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p7s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p81b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p81b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2cfa46d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p81b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p81s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p81s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c594bf1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p81s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p82b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p82b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7c9bf7a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p82b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p82s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p82s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..03da021
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p82s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p84b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p84b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..27d6b3a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p84b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p84s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p84s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cdfb4d4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p84s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p85b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p85b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..20e6771
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p85b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p85s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p85s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d2cc8b2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p85s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p87b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p87b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..becd723
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p87b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p87s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p87s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4a3eec2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p87s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p89b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p89b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..70b1956
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p89b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p89s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p89s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cc9d186
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p89s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p92b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p92b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8eb918b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p92b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p92s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p92s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8f6ac0e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p92s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p93b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p93b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..124f04f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p93b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p93s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p93s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..546aa81
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p93s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p94b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p94b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3f720b5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p94b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p94s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p94s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..54fd2f1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p94s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p96b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p96b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d3e1342
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p96b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p96s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p96s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9a374cd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p96s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p97b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p97b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4a86ec1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p97b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p97s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p97s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..29e8959
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p97s.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p98.jpg b/1867-h/images/p98.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..71dab1d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p98.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p99b.jpg b/1867-h/images/p99b.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..63ac9fc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p99b.jpg
diff --git a/1867-h/images/p99s.jpg b/1867-h/images/p99s.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bff708b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/1867-h/images/p99s.jpg