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diff --git a/old/orig18575-h/p3.htm b/old/orig18575-h/p3.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..91d3ee5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/orig18575-h/p3.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4181 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> +<title> +CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES, PART III., STORIES 41-60 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background: #faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { margin:10%; + text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; } + hr { width: 50%; } + hr.full { width: 100%; } + .foot { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 95%; } + img {border: 0;} + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%;} + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 10%; margin-left: 1%;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + PRE { font-size: 90%; margin-left: 20%;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<center> +<big><b>PART III., STORIES 41-60</b></big> +<br /> + + +<br /> + +<a href="#contents"><big><b>Table of Contents</b></big></a> +<br /><br /> + +<a href="#illustrations"><big><b>List of Illustrations</b></big></a> +</center> + + + +<center> +<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3> +<tr><td> + + <a href="p2.htm">Previous Part</a> +</td><td> + <a href="main.htm">Main Index</a> +</td><td> + <a href="p4.htm">Next Part</a> + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + +<br /> + +<a name="image-0001"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" height="955" width="616" +alt="Cover.jpg" title="Cover +"> +</center> + +<a name="image-0002"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/spines.jpg" height="965" width="338" +alt="Spines.jpg" title="Spines +"> +</center> + +<a name="image-0003"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/titlepage.jpg" height="934" width="667" +alt="Titlepage.jpg" title="Titlepage +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + ONE HUNDRED MERRIE AND DELIGHTSOME STORIES +</h2> +<h4> + Right Pleasaunte To Relate In All Goodly Companie By Way Of Joyance And Jollity +</h4> +<h1> +<i>LES CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES</i> +</h1> +<h4> +Now First Done Into The English Tongue By Robert B. Douglas +<br /> +<br /> + +Various Authors</h4> +<br /> +<br /> + + +<h2>Edited by Antoine de la Salle</h2> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h3>Illustrated by Léon Lebèque</h3> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4> +Paris +<br /> +<br /> + +Charles Carrington +<br /> +<br /> + +13 Faubourg Montmartre +<br /> +<br /> + +1899 +</h4> + + + + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<a name="contents"></a> +<br /> +<br /> + + +<h2>Contents</h2> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0041"> +STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0042"> +STORY THE FORTY-SECOND — THE MARRIED PRIEST. [42] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0043"> +STORY THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN HORNS. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0044"> +STORY THE FORTY-FOURTH — THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0045"> +STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH — THE SCOTSMAN TURNED WASHERWOMAN +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0046"> +STORY THE FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID FOR THE PEARS. [46] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0047"> +STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH — TWO MULES DROWNED TOGETHER. [47] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0048"> +STORY THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0049"> +STORY THE FORTY-NINTH — THE SCARLET BACKSIDE. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0050"> +STORY THE FIFTIETH — TIT FOR TAT. [50] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0051"> +STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL FATHERS. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0052"> +STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND — THE THREE REMINDERS. [52] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0053"> +STORY THE FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0054"> +STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH — THE RIGHT MOMENT. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0055"> +STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH — A CURE FOR THE PLAGUE. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0056"> +STORY THE FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, THE PRIEST, THE SERVANT, AND THE +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0057"> +STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH — THE OBLIGING BROTHER. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0058"> +STORY THE FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0059"> +STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER. [59] +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0060"> +STORY THE SIXTIETH — THREE VERY MINOR BROTHERS. [60] +</a></p> + + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> +<a name="illustrations"></a> +<br /> +<br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr><td> + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0027"> +41.jpg Love in Arms. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0028"> +43.jpg A Bargain in Horns. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0029"> +44.jpg The Match-making Priest. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0030"> +46.jpg How the Nun Paid for The Pears. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0031"> +49.jpg The Scarlet Backside. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0032"> +52.jpg The Three Reminders. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0033"> +54.jpg The Right Moment. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0034"> +55.jpg A Cure for The Plague. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0035"> +57.jpg The Obliging BroTher. +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-0036"> +60.jpg Three Very Minor BroThers. +</a></p> + +</td></tr> +</table> +</center> + + + +<br /> +<br /> +<hr> + +<a name="2H_TOC"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<br /> +<br /> + + +<h2> + DETAILED CONTENTS CONTENTS +</h2> + +<blockquote> + + + + +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0041">STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a knight who made his wife wear a hauberk whenever he would do you +<br> +know what; and of a clerk who taught her another method which she almost +<br> +told her husband, but turned it off suddenly.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0042">STORY THE FORTY-SECOND — THE MARRIED PRIEST.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a village clerk who being at Rome and believing that his wife was +<br> +dead became a priest, and was appointed curé of his own town, and when +<br> +he returned, the first person he met was his wife.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0043">STORY THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN HORNS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a labourer who found a man with his wife, and forwent his revenge +<br> +for a certain quantity of wheat, but his wife insisted that he should +<br> +complete the work he had begun.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0044">STORY THE FORTY-FOURTH —THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a village priest who found a husband for a girl with whom he was in +<br> +love, and who had promised him that when she was married she would do +<br> +whatever he wished, of which he reminded her on the wedding-day, and the +<br> +husband heard it, and took steps accordingly, as you will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0045">STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH — THE SCOTSMAN TURNED WASHERWOMAN</a> +<br> +<i>Of a young Scotsman who was disguised as a woman for the space of +<br> +fourteen years, and by that means slept with many girls and married +<br> +women, but was punished in the end, as you will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0046">STORY THE FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID FOR THE PEARS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a Jacobin and a nun, who went secretly to an orchard to enjoy +<br> +pleasant pastime under a pear-tree; in which tree was hidden one who +<br> +knew of the assignation, and who spoiled their sport for that time, as +<br> +you will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0047">STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH —TWO MULES DROWNED TOGETHER.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a President who knowing of the immoral conduct of his wife, caused +<br> +her to be drowned by her mule, which had been kept without drink for a +<br> +week, and given salt to eat—as is more clearly related hereafter.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0048">STORY THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a woman who would not suffer herself to be kissed, though she +<br> +willingly gave up all the rest of her body except the mouth, to her +<br> +lover—and the reason that she gave for this.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0049">STORY THE FORTY-NINTH —THE SCARLET BACKSIDE.</a> +<br> +<i>Of one who saw his wife with a man to whom she gave the whole of her +<br> +body, except her backside, which she left for her husband and he made +<br> +her dress one day when his friends were present in a woollen gown on the +<br> +backside of which was a piece of fine scarlet, and so left her before +<br> +all their friends.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0050">STORY THE FIFTIETH — TIT FOR TAT.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a father who tried to kill his son because the young man wanted to +<br> +lie with his grandmother, and the reply made by the said son.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0051">STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL FATHERS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a woman who on her death-bed, in the absence of her husband, made +<br> +over her children to those to whom they belonged, and how one of the +<br> +youngest of the children informed his father.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0052">STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND — THE THREE REMINDERS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of three counsels that a father when on his deathbed gave his son, but +<br> +to which the son paid no heed. And how he renounced a young girl he had +<br> +married, because he saw her lying with the family chaplain the first +<br> +night after their wedding.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0053">STORY THE FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES.</a> +<br> +<i>Of two men and two women who were waiting to be married at the first +<br> +Mass in the early morning; and because the priest could not see well, he +<br> +took the one for the other, and gave to each man the wrong wife, as you +<br> +will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0054">STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH — THE RIGHT MOMENT.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a damsel of Maubeuge who gave herself up to a waggoner, and refused +<br> +many noble lovers; and of the reply that she made to a noble knight +<br> +because he reproached her for this—as you will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0055">STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH — A CURÉ FOR THE PLAGUE.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a girl who was ill of the plague and caused the death of three men +<br> +who lay with her, and how the fourth was saved, and she also.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0056">STORY THE FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, PRIEST, SERVANT, AND WOLF.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a gentleman who caught, in a trap that he laid, his wife, the +<br> +priest, her maid, and a wolf; and burned them all alive, because his +<br> +wife committed adultery with the priest.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0057">STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH — THE OBLIGING BROTHER.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a damsel who married a shepherd, and how the marriage was arranged, +<br> +and what a gentleman, the brother of the damsel, said.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0058">STORY THE FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN.</a> +<br> +<i>Of two comrades who wished to make their mistresses better inclined +<br> +towards them, and so indulged in debauchery, and said, that as after +<br> +that their mistresses still scorned them, that they too must have played +<br> +at the same game—as you will hear.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0059">STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER.</a> +<br> +<i>Of a lord who pretended to be sick in order that he might lie with the +<br> +servant maid, with whom his wife found him.</i> +<br> +<a href="#2H_4_0060">STORY THE SIXTIETH — THREE VERY MINOR BROTHERS.</a> +<br> +<i>Of three women of Malines, who were acquainted with three cordeliers, +<br> +and had their heads shaved, and donned the gown that they might not be +<br> +recognised, and how it was made known.</i> + + + + +</blockquote> + +<br> + + +<hr> +<a name="image-0027"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/41.jpg" height="912" width="632" +alt="41.jpg" title=" Love in Arms. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0041"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="41pg (136K)" src="images/41pg.jpg" height="948" width="586" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a knight who made his wife wear a hauberk whenever he would do you +know what; and of a clerk who taught her another method which she almost +told her husband, but turned it off suddenly.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +A noble knight of Haynau, who was wise, cunning, and a great traveller, +found such pleasure in matrimony, that after the death of his good +and prudent wife, he could not exist long unmarried, and espoused a +beautiful damsel of good condition, who was not one of the cleverest +people in the world, for, to tell the truth, she was rather dull-witted, +which much pleased her husband, because he thought he could more easily +bend her to his will. +</p> +<p> +He devoted all his time and study to training her to obey him, and +succeeded as well as he could possibly have wished. And, amongst other +matters, whenever he would indulge in the battle of love with her—which +was not as often as she would have wished—he made her put on a splendid +hauberk, at which she was at first much astonished, and asked why she +was armed, and he replied that she could not withstand his amorous +assaults if she were not armed. So she was content to wear the hauberk; +and her only regret was that her husband was not more fond of making +these assaults, for they were more trouble than pleasure to him. +</p> +<p> +If you should ask why her lord made her wear this singular costume, +I should reply that he hoped that the pain and inconvenience of the +hauberk would prevent his wife from being too fond of these amorous +assaults; but, wise as he was, he made a great mistake, for if in each +love-battle the hauberk had broken her back and bruised her belly, she +would not have refused to put it on, so sweet and pleasant did she find +that which followed. +</p> +<p> +They thus lived together for a long time, till her husband was ordered +to serve his prince in the war, in another sort of battle to that +above-mentioned, so he took leave of his wife and went where he was +ordered, and she remained at home in the charge of an old gentleman, and +of certain damsels who served her. +</p> +<p> +Now you must know that there was in the house a good fellow, a clerk, +who was treasurer of the household, and who sang and played the +harp well. After dinner he would often play, which gave madame great +pleasure, and she would often come to him when she heard the sound of +his harp. +</p> +<p> +She came so often that the clerk at last made love to her, and she, +being desirous to put on her hauberk again, listened to his petition, +and replied; +</p> +<p> +"Come to me at a certain time, in such a chamber, and I will give you a +reply that will please you." +</p> +<p> +She was greatly thanked, and at the hour named, the clerk did not fail +to rap at the door of the chamber the lady had indicated, where she was +quietly awaiting him with her fine hauberk on her back. +</p> +<p> +She opened the door, and the clerk saw her armed, and thinking that some +one was concealed there to do him a mischief, was so scared that, in his +fright, he tumbled down backwards I know not how many stairs, and might +have broken his neck, but luckily he was not hurt, for, being in a good +cause, God protected him. +</p> +<p> +Madame, who saw his danger, was much vexed and displeased; she ran down +and helped him to rise, and asked why he was in such fear? He told her +that truly he thought he had fallen into an ambush. +</p> +<p> +"You have nothing to fear," she said, "I am not armed with the intention +of doing you any hurt," and so saying they mounted the stairs together, +and entered the chamber. +</p> +<p> +"Madame," said the clerk, "I beg of you to tell me, if you please, why +you have put on this hauberk?" +</p> +<p> +She blushed and replied, "You know very well." +</p> +<p> +"By my oath, madame, begging your pardon," said he, "if I had known I +should not have asked." +</p> +<p> +"My husband," she replied, "whenever he would kiss me, and talk of love, +makes me dress in this way; and as I know that you have come here for +that purpose, I prepared myself accordingly." +</p> +<p> +"Madame," he said, "you are right, and I remember now that it is the +manner of knights to arm their ladies in this way. But clerks +have another method, which, in my opinion is much nicer and more +comfortable." +</p> +<p> +"Please tell me what that is," said the lady. +</p> +<p> +"I will show you," he replied. Then he took off the hauberk, and the +rest of her apparel down to her chemise, and he also undressed himself, +and they got into the fair bed that was there, and—both being disarmed +even of their chemises—passed two or three hours very pleasantly. And +before leaving, the clerk showed her the method used by clerks, which +she greatly praised, as being much better than that of knights. They +often met afterwards, also in the same way, without its becoming known, +although the lady was not over-cunning. +</p> +<p> +After a certain time, her husband returned from the war, at which she +was not inwardly pleased, though outwardly she tried to pretend to be. +His coming was known, and God knows how great a dinner was prepared. +Dinner passed, and grace being said, the knight—to show he was a good +fellow, and a loving husband—said to her, +</p> +<p> +"Go quickly to our chamber, and put on your hauberk." She, remembering +the pleasant time she had had with her clerk, replied quickly, +</p> +<p> +"Ah, monsieur, the clerks' way is the best." +</p> +<p> +"The clerks' way!" he cried. "And how do you know their way?" and he +began to fret and to change colour, and suspect something; but he never +knew the truth, for his suspicions were quickly dissipated. +</p> +<p> +Madame was not such a fool but what she could see plainly that her +husband was not pleased at what she had said, and quickly bethought +herself of a way of getting out of the difficulty. +</p> +<p> +"I said that the clerks' way is the best; and I say it again." +</p> +<p> +"And what is that?" he asked. +</p> +<p> +"They drink after grace." +</p> +<p> +"Indeed, by St. John, you speak truly!" he cried. "Verily it is their +custom, and it is not a bad one; and since you so much care for it, we +will keep it in future." +</p> +<p> +So wine was brought and they drank it, and then Madame went to put on +her hauberk, which she would willingly have done without, for the gentle +clerk had showed her another way which pleased her better. +</p> +<p> +Thus, as you have heard, was Monsieur deceived by his wife's ready +reply. No doubt her wits had been sharpened by her intercourse with the +clerk, and after that he showed her plenty of other tricks, and in the +end he and her husband became great friends. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0042"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="42pg (124K)" src="images/42pg.jpg" height="929" width="588" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SECOND — THE MARRIED PRIEST. <a href="#note-42" name="noteref-42">42</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Meriadech. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a village clerk who being at Rome and believing that his wife was +dead became a priest, and was appointed curé of his own town, and when +he returned, the first person he met was his wife.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In the year '50 (*) just passed, the clerk of a village in the diocese +of Noyon, that he might gain the pardons, which as every one knows were +then given at Rome (**), set out in company with many respectable people +of Noyon, Compeigne, and the neighbouring places. +</p> +<pre> + (*) 1450 + + (**) Special indulgences were granted that year on account + of the Jubilee +</pre> +<p> +But, before leaving, he carefully saw to his private affairs, arranged +for the support of his wife and family, and entrusted the office of +sacristan, which he held, to a young and worthy clerk to hold until his +return. +</p> +<p> +In a fairly brief space of time, he and his companions arrived at Rome, +and performed their devotions and their pilgrimage as well as they knew +how. But you must know that our clerk met, by chance, at Rome, one of +his old school-fellows, who was in the service of a great Cardinal, and +occupied a high position, and who was very glad to meet his old friend, +and asked him how he was. And the other told him everything—first of +all that he was, alas! married, how many children he had, and how that +he was a parish clerk. +</p> +<p> +"Ah!" said his friend, "by my oath! I am much grieved that you are +married." +</p> +<p> +"Why?" asked the other. +</p> +<p> +"I will tell you," said he; "such and such a Cardinal has charged me to +find him a secretary, a native of our province. This would have suited +you, and you would have been largely remunerated, were it not that your +marriage will cause you to return home, and, I fear, lose many benefits +that you cannot now get." +</p> +<p> +"By my oath!" said the clerk, "my marriage is no great consequence, +for—to tell you the truth—the pardon was but an excuse for getting out +of the country, and was not the principal object of my journey; for +I had determined to enjoy myself for two or three years in travelling +about, and if, during that time, God should take my wife, I should only +be too happy. So I beg and pray of you to think of me and to speak well +for me to this Cardinal, that I may serve him; and, by my oath, I +will so bear myself that you shall have no fault to find with me; and, +moreover, you will do me the greatest service that ever one friend did +another." +</p> +<p> +"Since that is your wish," said his friend, "I will oblige you at once, +and will lodge you too if you wish." +</p> +<p> +"Thank you, friend," said the other. +</p> +<p> +To cut matters short, our clerk lodged with the Cardinal, and wrote and +told his wife of his new position, and that he did not intend to return +home as soon as he had intended when he left. She consoled herself, and +wrote back that she would do the best she could. +</p> +<p> +Our worthy clerk conducted himself so well in the service of the +Cardinal, and gained such esteem, that his master had no small regret +that his secretary was incapable of holding a living, for which he was +exceedingly well fitted. +</p> +<p> +Whilst our clerk was thus in favour, the curé of his village died, and +thus left the living vacant during one of the Pope's months. (*) +The Sacristan who held the place of his friend who had gone to Rome, +determined that he would hurry to Rome as quickly as he could, and do +all in his power to get the living for himself. He lost no time, and in +a few days, after much trouble and fatigue, found himself at Rome, and +rested not till he had discovered his friend—the clerk who served the +Cardinal. +</p> +<p> +After mutual salutations, the clerk asked after his wife, and the other, +expecting to give him much pleasure and further his own interests in +the request he was about to make, replied that she was dead—in which +he lied, for I know that at this present moment (**) she can still worry +her husband. +</p> +<pre> + (*) During eight months of the year, the Pope had the right + of bestowing all livings which became vacant. + + (**) That is when the story was written. +</pre> +<p> +"Do you say that my wife is dead?" cried the clerk. "May God pardon her +all her sins." +</p> +<p> +"Yes, truly," replied the other; "the plague carried her off last year, +along with many others." +</p> +<p> +He told this lie, which cost him dear, because he knew that the clerk +had only left home on account of his wife, who was of a quarrelsome +disposition, and he thought the most pleasant news he could bring was +to announce her death, and truly so it would have been, but the news was +false. +</p> +<p> +"And what brings you to this country?" asked the clerk after many and +various questions. +</p> +<p> +"I will tell you, my friend and companion. The curé of our town is dead; +so I came to you to ask if by any means I could obtain the benefice. I +would beg of you to help me in this matter. I know that it is in your +power to procure me the living, with the help of monseigneur, your +master." +</p> +<p> +The clerk, thinking that his wife was dead, and the cure of his native +town vacant, thought to himself that he would snap up this living, and +others too if he could get them. But, all the same, he said nothing to +his friend, except that it would not be his fault if the other were not +curé of their town,—for which he was much thanked. +</p> +<p> +It happened quite otherwise, for, on the morrow, our Holy Father, at the +request of the Cardinal, the master of our clerk, gave the latter the +living. +</p> +<p> +Thereupon this clerk, when he heard the news, came to his companion, and +said to him, +</p> +<p> +"Ah, friend, by my oath, your hopes are dissipated, at which I am much +vexed." +</p> +<p> +"How so?" asked the other. +</p> +<p> +"The cure of our town is given," he said, "but I know not to whom. +Monseigneur, my master, tried to help you, but it was not in his power +to accomplish it." +</p> +<p> +At which the other was vexed, after he had come so far and expended so +much. So he sorrowfully took leave of his friend, and returned to his +own country, without boasting about the lie he had told. +</p> +<p> +But let us return to our clerk, who was as merry as a grig at the news +of the death of his wife, and to whom the benefice of his native town +had been given, at the request of his master, by the Holy Father, as +a reward for his services. And let us record how he became a priest at +Rome, and chanted his first holy Mass, and took leave of his master for +a time, in order to return and take possession of his living. +</p> +<p> +When he entered the town, by ill luck the first person that he chanced +to meet was his wife, at which he was much astonished I can assure you, +and still more vexed. +</p> +<p> +"What is the meaning of this, my dear?" he asked. "They told me you were +dead!" +</p> +<p> +"Nothing of the kind," she said. "You say so, I suppose, because you +wish it, as you have well proved, for you have left me for five years, +with a number of young children to take care of." +</p> +<p> +"My dear," he said, "I am very glad to see you in good health, and I +praise God for it with all my heart. Cursed be he who brought me false +news." +</p> +<p> +"Amen!" she replied. +</p> +<p> +"But I must tell you, my dear, that I cannot stay now; I am obliged to +go in haste to the Bishop of Noyon, on a matter which concerns him; but +I will return to you as quickly as I can." +</p> +<p> +He left his wife, and took his way to Noyon; but God knows that all +along the road he thought of his strange position. +</p> +<p> +"Alas!" he said, "I am undone and dishonoured. A priest! a clerk! and +married! I suppose I am the first miserable wretch to whom that ever +occurred!" +</p> +<p> +He went to the Bishop of Noyon, who was much surprised at hearing his +case, and did not know what to advise him, so sent him back to Rome. +</p> +<p> +When he arrived there, he related his adventure at length to his master, +who was bitterly annoyed, and on the morrow repeated it to our Holy +Father, in the presence of the Sacred College and all the Cardinals. +</p> +<p> +So it was ordered that he should remain priest, and married, and curé +also; and that he should live with his wife as a married man, honourably +and without reproach, and that his children should be legitimate and not +bastards, although their father was a priest. Moreover, that if it was +found he lived apart from his wife, he should lose the living. +</p> +<p> +Thus, as you have heard, was this gallant punished for believing the +false news of his friend, and was obliged to go and live in his own +parish, and, which was worse, with his wife, with whose company he would +have gladly dispensed if the Church had not ordered it otherwise. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0028"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/43.jpg" height="922" width="634" +alt="43.jpg" title="A Bargain in Horns. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0043"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="43pg (131K)" src="images/43pg.jpg" height="944" width="587" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN HORNS. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De Fiennes. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a labourer who found a man with his wife, and forwent his revenge +for a certain quantity of wheat, but his wife insisted that he should +complete the work he had begun.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +There lived formerly, in the district of Lille, a worthy man who was a +labourer and tradesman, and who managed, by the good offices of himself +and his friends, to obtain for a wife a very pretty young girl, but who +was not rich, neither was her husband, but he was very covetous, and +diligent in business, and loved to gain money. +</p> +<p> +And she, for her part, attended to the household as her husband desired; +who therefore had a good opinion of her, and often went about his +business without any suspicion that she was other than good. +</p> +<p> +But whilst the poor man thus came and went, and left his wife alone, +a good fellow came to her, and, to cut the story short, was in a short +time the deputy for the trusting husband, who still believed that he +had the best wife in the world, and the one who most thought about the +increase of his honour and his worldly wealth. +</p> +<p> +It was not so, for she gave him not the love she owed him, and cared not +whether he had profit or loss by her. The good merchant aforesaid, being +out as usual, his wife soon informed her friend, who did not fail to +come as he was desired, at once. And not to lose his time, he approached +his mistress, and made divers amorous proposals to her, and in short +the desired pleasure was not refused him any more than on the former +occasions, which had not been few. +</p> +<p> +By bad luck, whilst the couple were thus engaged, the husband arrived, +and found them at work, and was much astonished, for he did not know +that his wife was a woman of that sort. +</p> +<p> +"What is this?" he said. "By God's death, scoundrel, I will kill you on +the spot." +</p> +<p> +The other, who had been caught in the act, and was much scared, knew +not what to say, but as he was aware that the husband was miserly and +covetous, he said quickly: +</p> +<p> +"Ah, John, my friend, I beg your mercy; pardon me if I have done you any +wrong, and on my word I will give you six bushels of wheat." +</p> +<p> +"By God!" said he, "I will do nothing of the kind. You shall die by my +hands and I will have your life if I do not have twelve bushels." +</p> +<p> +The good wife, who heard this dispute, in order to restore peace, came +forward, and said to her husband. +</p> +<p> +"John, dear, let him finish what he has begun, I beg, and you shall have +eight bushels. Shall he not?" she added, turning to her lover. +</p> +<p> +"I am satisfied," he said, "though on my oath it is too much, seeing how +dear corn is." +</p> +<p> +"It is too much?" said the good man. "Morbleu! I much regret that I did +not say more, for you would have to pay a much heavier fine if you were +brought to justice: however, make up your mind that I will have twelve +bushels, or you shall die." +</p> +<p> +"Truly, John," said his wife, "you are wrong to contradict me. It seems +to me that you ought to be satisfied with eight bushels, for you know +that is a large quantity of wheat." +</p> +<p> +"Say no more," he replied, "I will have twelve bushels, or I will kill +him and you too." +</p> +<p> +"The devil," quoth the lover; "you drive a bargain; but at least, if I +must pay you, let me have time." +</p> +<p> +"That I agree to, but I will have my twelve bushels." +</p> +<p> +The dispute ended thus, and it was agreed that he was to pay in two +instalments,—six bushels on the morrow, and the others on St. Remy's +day, then near. +</p> +<p> +All this was arranged by the wife, who then said to her husband. +</p> +<p> +"You are satisfied, are you not, to receive your wheat in the manner I +have said?" +</p> +<p> +"Certainly," he replied. +</p> +<p> +"Then go," she said, "whilst he finishes the work he had begun when you +interrupted him; otherwise the contract will not be binding." +</p> +<p> +"By St. John! is it so?" said the lover. +</p> +<p> +"I always keep my word," said the good merchant. "By God, no man shall +say I am a cheat or a liar. You will finish the job you have begun, and +I am to have my twelve bushels of wheat on the terms agreed. That was +our contract—was it not?" +</p> +<p> +"Yes, truly," said his wife. +</p> +<p> +"Good bye, then," said the husband, "but at any rate be sure that I have +six bushels of wheat to-morrow." +</p> +<pre> +"Don't be afraid," said the other. "I will keep my word." So the good +man left the house, quite joyful that he was to have twelve bushels of +wheat, and his wife and her lover recommenced more heartily than ever. I +have heard that the wheat was duly delivered on the dates agreed. + + +</pre> +<hr> +<a name="image-0029"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/44.jpg" height="925" width="626" +alt="44.jpg" title="The Match-making Priest. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0044"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="44pg (139K)" src="images/44pg.jpg" height="976" width="591" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FOURTH — THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a village priest who found a husband for a girl with whom he was in +love, and who had promised him that when she was married she would do +whatever he wished, of which he reminded her on the wedding-day, and the +husband heard it, and took steps accordingly, as you will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In the present day they are many priests and curés who are good fellows, +and who can as easily commit follies and imprudences as laymen can. +</p> +<p> +In a pretty village of Picardy, there lived formerly a curé of a +lecherous disposition. Amongst the other pretty girls and women of his +parish, he cast eyes on a young and very pretty damsel of nubile age, +and was bold enough to tell her what he wanted. +</p> +<p> +Won over by his fair words, and the hundred thousand empty promises he +made, she was almost ready to listen to his requests, which would have +been a great pity, for she was a nice and pretty girl with pleasant +manners, and had but one fault,—which was that she was not the most +quick-witted person in the world. +</p> +<p> +I do not know why it occurred to her to answer him in that manner, but +one day she told the curé, when he was making hot love to her, that she +was not inclined to do what he required until she was married, for if +by chance, as happened every day, she had a baby, she would always be +dishonoured and reproached by her father, mother, brothers, and all her +family, which she could not bear, nor had she strength to sustain the +grief and worry which such a misfortune would entail. +</p> +<p> +"Nevertheless, if some day I am married, speak to me again, and I will +do what I can for you, but not otherwise; so give heed to what I say and +believe me once for all." +</p> +<p> +The cure was not over-pleased at this definite reply, bold and sensible +as it was, but he was so amorous that he would not abandon all hope, and +said to the girl; +</p> +<p> +"Are you so firmly decided, my dear, not to do anything for me until you +are married?" +</p> +<p> +"Certainly, I am," she replied. +</p> +<p> +"And if you are married, and I am the means and the cause, you will +remember it afterwards, and honestly and loyally perform what you have +promised?" +</p> +<p> +"By my oath, yes," she said, "I promise you." +</p> +<p> +"Thank you," he said, "make your mind easy, for I promise you faithfully +that if you are not married soon it will not be for want of efforts or +expense on my part, for I am sure that you cannot desire it more than +I do; and in order to prove that I am devoted to you soul and body, you +will see how I will manage this business." +</p> +<p> +"Very well, monsieur le curé," she said, "we shall see what you will +do." +</p> +<p> +With that she took leave of him, and the good curé, who was madly in +love with her, was not satisfied till he had seen her father. He talked +over various matters with him, and at last the worthy priest spoke to +the old man about his daughter, and said, +</p> +<p> +"Neighbour, I am much astonished, as also are many of your neighbours +and friends, that you do not let your daughter marry. Why do you keep +her at home when you know how dangerous it is? Not that—God forbid—I +say, or wish to say, that she is not virtuous, but every day we see +girls go wrong because they do not marry at the proper age. Forgive me +for so openly stating my opinion, but the respect I have for you, and +the duty I owe you as your unworthy pastor, require and compel me to +tell you this." +</p> +<p> +"By the Lord, monsieur le curé," said the good man, "I know that your +words are quite true, and I thank you for them, and do not think that +I have kept her so long at home from any selfish motive, for if her +welfare is concerned I will do all I can for her, as I ought. You would +not wish, nor is it usual, that I should buy a husband for her, but if +any respectable young man should come along, I will do everything that a +good father should." +</p> +<p> +"Well said," replied the curé, "and on my word, you could not do better +than marry her off quickly. It is a great thing to be able to see your +grandchildren round you before you become too old. What do you say +to so-and-so, the son of your neighbour?—He seems to me a good, +hard-working man, who would make a good husband." +</p> +<p> +"By St. John!" said the old man, "I have nothing but good to say about +him. For my own part, I know him to be a good young man and a good +worker. His father and mother, and all his relatives, are respectable +people, and if they do me the honour to ask my daughter's hand in +marriage for him, I shall reply in a manner that will satisfy them." +</p> +<p> +"You could not say more," replied the curé, "and, if it please God, the +matter shall be arranged as I wish, and as I know for a fact that this +marriage would be to the benefit of both parties, I will do my best to +farther it, and with this I will now say farewell to you." +</p> +<p> +If the curé had played his part well with the girl's father, he was +quite as clever in regard to the father of the young man. He began with +a preamble to the effect that his son was of an age to marry, and ought +to settle down, and brought a hundred thousand reasons to show that the +world would be lost if his son were not soon married. +</p> +<p> +"Monsieur le curé," replied also the second old man, "there is much +truth in what you say, and if I were now as well off as I was, I know +not how many years ago, he would not still be unmarried; for there is +nothing in the world I desire more than to see him settled, but want +of money has prevented it, and so he must have patience until the Lord +sends us more wealth than we have at present." +</p> +<p> +"Then," said the curé, "if I understand you aright, it is only money +that is wanting." +</p> +<p> +"Faith! that is so," said the old man. "If I had now as much as I had +formerly, I should soon seek a wife for him." +</p> +<p> +"I have concerned myself," said the curé, "because I desire the welfare +and prosperity of your son, and find that the daughter of such an one +(that is to say his ladylove) would exactly suit him. She is pretty and +virtuous, and her father is well off, and, as I know, would give +some assistance, and—which is no small matter—is a wise man of good +counsel, and a friend to whom you and your son could have recourse. What +do you say?" +</p> +<p> +"Certainly," said the good man, "if it please God that my son should be +fortunate enough to be allied to such a good family; and if I thought +that he could anyhow succeed in that, I would get together what money I +could, and would go round to all my friends, for I am sure that he could +never find anyone more suitable." +</p> +<p> +"I have not chosen badly then," said the curé. "And what would you say +if I spoke about this matter to her father, and conducted it to its +desired end, and, moreover, lent you twenty francs for a certain period +that we could arrange?" +</p> +<p> +"By my oath, monsieur le curé," said the good man, "you offer me more +than I deserve. If you did this, you would render a great service to me +and mine." +</p> +<p> +"Truly," answered the curé, "I have not said anything that I do not mean +to perform; so be of good cheer, for I hope to see this matter at an +end." +</p> +<p> +To shorten matters, the curé, hoping to have the woman when once she +was married, arranged the matter so well that, with the twenty francs he +lent, the marriage was settled, and the wedding day arrived. +</p> +<p> +Now it is the custom that the bride and bridegroom confess on that day. +The bridegroom came first, and when he had finished, he withdrew to a +little distance saying his orisons and his paternosters. Then came the +bride, who knelt down before the curé and confessed. When she had said +all she had to say, he spoke to her in turn, and so loudly, that the +bridegroom, who was not far off, heard every word, and said, +</p> +<p> +"My dear, I beg you to remember now the promise you formerly made me. +You promised me that when you were married that I should ride you; and +now you are married, thank God, by my means and endeavours, and through +the money that I have lent." +</p> +<p> +"Monsieur le curé," she said, "have no fear but what I will keep the +promise I have made, if God so please." +</p> +<p> +"Thank you," he replied, and then gave her absolution after this devout +confession, and suffered her to depart. +</p> +<p> +The bridegroom, who had heard these words, was not best pleased, but +nevertheless thought it not the right moment to show his vexation. +</p> +<p> +After all the ceremonies at the church were over, the couple returned +home, and bed-time drew near. The bridegroom whispered to a friend of +his whom he dearly loved, to fetch a big handful of birch rods, and hide +them secretly under the bed, and this the other did. +</p> +<p> +When the time came, the bride went to bed, as is the custom, and kept +to the edge of the bed, and said not a word. The bridegroom came soon +after, and lay on the other edge of the bed without approaching her, or +saying a word and in the morning he rose without doing anything else, +and hid his rods again under the bed. +</p> +<p> +When he had left the room, there came several worthy matrons who found +the bride in bed, and asked her how the night had passed, and what she +thought of her husband? +</p> +<p> +"Faith!" she said, "there was his place over there"—pointing to the +edge of the bed—"and here was mine. He never came near me, and I never +went near him." +</p> +<p> +They were all much astonished, and did not know what to think, but +at last they agreed that if he had not touched her, it was from some +religious motive, and they thought no more of it for that once. +</p> +<p> +The second night came, and the bride lay down in the place she had +occupied the previous night, and the bridegroom, still furnished with +his rods, did the same and nothing more; and this went on for two more +nights, at which the bride was much displeased, and did not fail to tell +the matrons the next day, who knew not what to think. +</p> +<p> +"It is to be feared he is not a man, for he has continued four nights in +that manner. He must be told what he has to do; so if to-night he does +not begin,"—they said to the bride—"draw close to him and cuddle +and kiss him, and ask him if married people do not do something else +besides? And if he should ask you what you want him to do? tell him that +you want him to ride you, and you will hear what he will say." +</p> +<p> +"I will do so," she said. +</p> +<p> +She failed not, for that night she lay in her usual place, and her +husband took up his old quarters, and made no further advances than he +had on the previous nights. So she turned towards him, and throwing her +arms round him, said; +</p> +<p> +"Come here husband! Is this the pleasant time I was to expect? This is +the fifth night I have slept with you, and you have not deigned to come +near me! On my word I should never have wished to be married if I had +not thought married people did something else." +</p> +<p> +"And what did they tell you married people did?" he asked. +</p> +<p> +"They say," she replied, "that the one rides the other. I want you to +ride me." +</p> +<p> +"Ride!" he said. "I would not like to do that.—I would not be so +unkind." +</p> +<p> +"Oh, I beg of you to do it—for that is what married people do." +</p> +<p> +"You want me to do it?" he asked. +</p> +<p> +"I beg of you to do it," she said, and so saying she kissed him +tenderly. +</p> +<p> +"By my oath!" he said, "I will do it, since you ask me to though much +to my regret, for I am sure that you will not like it." +</p> +<p> +Without saying another word he took his stock of rods, and stripped his +wife, and thrashed her soundly, back and belly, legs and thighs, till +she was bathed in blood. She screamed, she cried, she struggled, and +it was piteous to see her, and she cursed the moment that she had ever +asked to be ridden. +</p> +<p> +"I told you so," said her husband, and then took her in his arms and +"rode" her so nicely that she forgot the pain of the beating. +</p> +<p> +"What do you call that you have just done?" she asked. +</p> +<p> +"It is called," he said, "'to blow up the backside'." +</p> +<p> +"Blow up the backside!" she said. "The expression is not so pretty as +'to ride', but the operation is much nicer, and, now that I have learned +the difference, I shall know what to ask for in future." +</p> +<p> +Now you must know that the curé was always on the look-out for when the +newly married bride should come to church, to remind her of her promise. +The first time she appeared, he sidled up to the font, and when she +passed him, he gave her holy water, and said in a low voice, +</p> +<p> +"My dear! you promised me that I should ride you when you were married! +You are married now, thank God, and it is time to think when and how you +will keep your word." +</p> +<p> +"Ride?" she said. "By God, I would rather see you hanged or drowned! +Don't talk to me about riding. But I will let you blow up my backside if +you like!" +</p> +<p> +"And catch your quartain fever!" said the curé, "beastly dirty, +ill-mannered whore that you are! Am I to be rewarded after all I have +done for you, by being permitted to blow up your backside!" +</p> +<p> +So the curé went off in a huff, and the bride took her seat that she +might hear the holy Mass, which the good curé was about to read. +</p> +<p> +And thus, in the manner which you have just heard, did the curé lose his +chance of enjoying the girl, by his own fault and no other's, because he +spoke too loudly to her the day when he confessed her, for her husband +prevented him, in the way described above, by making his wife believe +that the act of 'riding' was called 'to blow up the backside'. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0045"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="45pg (129K)" src="images/45pg.jpg" height="943" width="600" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH — THE SCOTSMAN TURNED WASHERWOMAN +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a young Scotsman who was disguised as a woman for the space of +fourteen years, and by that means slept with many girls and married +women, but was punished in the end, as you will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +None of the preceding stories have related any incidents which happened +in Italy, but only those which occurred in France, Germany, England, +Flanders, and Brabant,—therefore I will relate, as something new, an +incident which formerly happened in Rome, and was as follows. +</p> +<p> +At Rome was a Scotsman of the age of about 22, who for the space of +fourteen years had disguised himself as a woman, without it being +publicly known all that time that he was a man. He called himself +Margaret, and there was hardly a good house in Rome where he was +not known, and he was specially welcomed by all the women, such as +waiting-women, and wenches of the lower orders, and also many of the +greatest ladies in Rome. +</p> +<p> +This worthy Scotsman carried on the trade of laundress, and had learned +to bleach sheets, and called himself the washerwoman, and under that +pretence frequented, as has been said, all the best houses in Rome, for +there was no woman who could bleach sheets as he did. +</p> +<p> +But you must know that he did much else beside, for when he found +himself with some pretty girl, he showed her that he was a man. Often, +in order to prepare the lye, he stopped one or two nights in the +aforesaid houses, and they made him sleep with the maid, or sometimes +with the daughter; and very often, if her husband were not there, the +mistress would have his company. And God knows that he had a good time, +and, thanks to the way he employed his body, was welcome everywhere, and +many wenches and waiting maids would fight as to who was to have him for +a bedfellow. +</p> +<p> +The citizens of Rome heard such a good account of him from their wives, +that they willingly welcomed him to their houses, and if they went +abroad, were glad to have Margaret to keep house along with their wives, +and, what is more, made her sleep with them, so good and honest was she +esteemed, as has been already said. +</p> +<p> +For the space of fourteen years did Margaret continue this way of +living, but the mischief was at last brought to light by a young girl, +who told her father that she had slept with Margaret and been assaulted +by her, and that in reality she was a man. The father informed the +officers of justice, and it was found that she had all the members and +implements that men carry, and, in fact, was a man and not a woman. +</p> +<p> +So it was ordered that he should be put in a cart and led through all +the city of Rome, and at every street corner his genitals should be +exposed. +</p> +<p> +This was done, and God knows how ashamed and vexed poor Margaret was. +But you must know that when the cart stopped at a certain corner, and +all the belongings of Margaret were being exhibited, a Roman said out +loud; +</p> +<p> +"Look at that scoundrel! he has slept more than twenty nights with my +wife!" +</p> +<p> +Many others said the same, and many who did not say it knew it well, +but, for their honours sake, held their tongue. Thus, in the manner you +have heard, was the poor Scotsman punished for having pretended to be +a woman, and after that punishment was banished from Rome; at which the +women were much displeased, for never was there such a good laundress, +and they were very sorry that they had so unfortunately lost her. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0030"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/46.jpg" height="904" width="628" +alt="46.jpg" title=" How the Nun Paid for The Pears. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0046"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="46pg (139K)" src="images/46pg.jpg" height="937" width="600" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID FOR THE PEARS. <a href="#note-46" name="noteref-46">46</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De Thianges (*). +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a Jacobin and a nun, who went secretly to an orchard to enjoy +pleasant pastime under a pear-tree; in which tree was hidden one who +knew of the assignation, and who spoiled their sport for that time, as +you will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<pre> + (*) The name of the author of this story is spelled in four + different ways in different editions of these tales—Viz, + Thieurges, Thienges, Thieuges and Thianges. +</pre> +<p> +It is no means unusual for monks to run after nuns. Thus it happened +formerly that a Jacobin so haunted, visited, and frequented a nunnery in +this kingdom, that his intention became known,—which was to sleep with +one of the ladies there. +</p> +<p> +And God knows how anxious and diligent he was to see her whom he loved +better than all the rest of the world, and continued to visit there so +often, that the Abbess and many of the nuns perceived how matters stood, +at which they were much displeased. Nevertheless, to avoid scandal, they +said not a word to the monk, but gave a good scolding to the nun, who +made many excuses, but the abbess, who was clear-sighted, knew by her +replies and excuses that she was guilty. +</p> +<p> +So, on account of that nun, the Abbess restrained the liberty of all, +and caused the doors of the cloisters and other places to be closed, +so that the poor Jacobin could by no means come to his mistress. That +greatly vexed him, and her also, I need not say, and you may guess that +they schemed day and night by what means they could meet; but could +devise no plan, such a strict watch did the Abbess keep on them. +</p> +<p> +It happened one day, that one of the nieces of the Abbess was married, +and a great feast was made in the convent. There was a great assemblage +of people from the country round, and the Abbess was very busy receiving +the great people who had come to do honour to her niece. +</p> +<p> +The worthy Jacobin thought that he might get a glimpse of his mistress, +and by chance be lucky enough to find an opportunity to speak to her. He +came therefore, and found what he sought; for, because of the number of +guests, the Abbess was prevented from keeping watch over the nun, and +he had an opportunity to tell his mistress his griefs, and how much he +regretted the good time that had passed; and she, who greatly loved him, +gladly listened to him, and would have willingly made him happy. Amongst +other speeches, he said; +</p> +<p> +"Alas! my dear, you know that it is long since we have had a quiet talk +together such as we like; I beg of you therefore, if it is possible, +whilst everyone is otherwise engaged than in watching us, to tell me +where we can have a few words apart." +</p> +<p> +"So help me God, my friend," she replied, "I desire it no less than you +do. But I do not know of any place where it can be done; for there are +so many people in the house, and I cannot enter my chamber, there are so +many strangers who have come to this wedding; but I will tell you what +you can do. You know the way to the great garden; do you not?" +</p> +<p> +"By St. John! yes," he said. +</p> +<p> +"In the corner of the garden," she said, "there is a nice paddock +enclosed with high and thick hedges, and in the middle is a large +pear-tree, which makes the place cool and shady. Go there and wait for +me, and as soon as I can get away, I will hurry to you." +</p> +<p> +The Jacobin greatly thanked her and went straight there. But you must +know there was a young gallant who had come to the feast, who was +standing not far from these lovers and had heard their conversation, +and, as he knew the paddock, he determined that he would go and hide +there, and see their love-making. +</p> +<p> +He slipped out of the crowd, and as fast as his feet could carry him, +ran to this paddock, and arrived there before the Jacobin; and when +he came there, he climbed into the great pear-tree—which had large +branches, and was covered with leaves and pears,—and hid himself so +well that he could not be easily seen. +</p> +<p> +He was hardly ensconced there when there came trotting along the worthy +Jacobin, looking behind him to see if his mistress was following; and +God knows that he was glad to find himself in that beautiful spot, and +never lifted his eyes to the pear-tree, for he never suspected that +there was anyone there, but kept his eyes on the road by which he had +come. +</p> +<p> +He looked until he saw his mistress coming hastily, and she was soon +with him, and they rejoiced greatly, and the good Jacobin took off his +gown and his scapulary, and kissed and cuddled tightly the fair nun. +</p> +<p> +They wanted to do that for which they came thither, and prepared +themselves accordingly, and in so doing the nun said; +</p> +<p> +"Pardieu, Brother Aubrey, I would have you know that you are about +to enjoy one of the prettiest nuns in the Church. You can judge for +yourself. Look what breasts Î what a belly! what thighs! and all the +rest." +</p> +<p> +"By my oath," said Brother Aubrey, "Sister Jehanne, my darling, you also +can say that you have for a lover one of the best-looking monks of our +Order, and as well furnished as any man in this kingdom," and with these +words, taking in his hand the weapon with which he was about to fight, +he brandished it before his lady's eyes, and cried, "What do you say? +What do you think of it? Is it not a handsome one? Is it not worthy of a +pretty girl?" +</p> +<p> +"Certainly it is," she said. +</p> +<p> +"And you shall have it." +</p> +<p> +"And you shall have," said he who was up in the pear-tree, "all the best +pears on the tree;" and with that he took and shook the branches with +both hands, and the pears rattled down on them and on the ground, at +which Brother Aubrey was so frightened that he hardly had the sense to +pick up his gown, but ran away as fast as he could without waiting, and +did not feel safe till he was well away from the spot. +</p> +<p> +The nun was as much, or more, frightened, but before she could set off, +the gallant had come down out of the tree, and taking her by the hand, +prevented her leaving, and said; "My dear, you must not go away thus: +you must first pay the fruiterer." +</p> +<p> +She saw that a refusal would appear unseasonable, and was fain to let +the fruiterer complete the work which Brother Aubrey had left undone. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0047"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="47pg (144K)" src="images/47pg.jpg" height="951" width="602" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH — TWO MULES DROWNED TOGETHER. <a href="#note-47" name="noteref-47">47</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a President who knowing of the immoral conduct of his wife, caused +her to be drowned by her mule, which had been kept without drink for a +week, and given salt to eat—as is more clearly related hereafter.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In Provence there lived formerly a President of great and high renown, +who was a most learned clerk and prudent man, valiant in arms, discreet +in counsel, and, in short, had all the advantages which man could enjoy. +(*) +</p> +<pre> + (*) Though not mentioned here by name, the principal + character in this story has been identified with Chaffrey + Carles, President of the Parliament of Grenoble. On the + front of a house in the Rue de Cleres, in Grenoble is carved + a coat of arms held by an angel who has her finger on her + lips. The arms are those of the Carles family and the figure + is supposed to refer to this story. At any rate the secret + was very badly kept, for the story seems to have been widely + known within a few years of its occurrence. +</pre> +<p> +One thing only was wanting to him, and that was the one that vexed him +most, and with good cause—and it was that he had a wife who was far +from good. The good lord saw and knew that his wife was unfaithful, and +inclined to play the whore, but the sense that God had given him, told +him that there was no remedy except to hold his tongue or die, for he +had often both seen and read that nothing would cure a woman of that +complaint. +</p> +<p> +But, at any rate, you may imagine that a man of courage and virtue, +as he was, was far from happy, and that his misfortune rankled in his +sorrowing heart. Yet as he outwardly appeared to know or see nothing of +his wife's misconduct, one of his servants came to him one day when he +was alone in his chamber, and said, +</p> +<p> +"Monsieur, I want to inform you, as I ought, of something which +particularly touches your honour. I have watched your wife's conduct, +and I can assure you that she does not keep the faith she promised, for +a certain person (whom he named) occupies your place very often." +</p> +<p> +The good President, who knew as well or better than the servant who made +the report, how his wife behaved, replied angrily; +</p> +<p> +"Ha! scoundrel, I am sure that you lie in all you say! I know my wife +too well, and she is not what you say—no! Do you think I keep you to +utter lies about a wife who is good and faithful to me! I will have +no more of you; tell me what I owe you and then go, and never enter my +sight again if you value your life!" +</p> +<p> +The poor servant, who thought he was doing his master a great service, +said how much was due to him, received his money and went, but the +President, seeing that the unfaithfulness became more and more evident, +was as vexed and troubled as he could be. He could not devise any plan +by which he could honestly get rid of her, but it happened that God +willed, or fortune permitted that his wife was going to a wedding +shortly, and he thought it might be made to turn out lucky for him. +</p> +<p> +He went to the servant who had charge of the horses, and a fine mule +that he had, and said, +</p> +<p> +"Take care that you give nothing to drink to my mule either night or +day, until I give you further orders, and whenever you give it its hay, +mix a good handful of salt with it—but do not say a word about it." +</p> +<p> +"I will say nothing," said the servant, "and I will do whatever you +command me." +</p> +<p> +When the wedding day of the cousin of the President's wife drew near, +she said to her husband, +</p> +<p> +"Monsieur, if it be your pleasure, I would willingly attend the wedding +of my cousin, which will take place next Sunday, at such a place." +</p> +<p> +"Very well, my dear; I am satisfied: go, and God guide you." +</p> +<p> +"Thank you, monsieur," she replied, "but I know not exactly how to go. +I do not wish to take my carriage; your nag is so skittish that I am +afraid to undertake the journey on it." +</p> +<p> +"Well, my dear, take my mule—it looks well, goes nicely and quietly, +and is more sure-footed than any animal I ever saw." +</p> +<p> +"Faith!" she said, "I thank you: you are a good husband." +</p> +<p> +The day of departure arrived, and all the servants of Madame were ready, +and also the women who were to serve her and accompany her, and two or +three cavaliers who were to escort Madame, and they asked if Madame were +also ready, and she informed them that she would come at once. +</p> +<p> +When she was dressed, she came down, and they brought her the mule which +had not drank for eight days, and was mad with thirst, so much salt had +it eaten. When she was mounted, the cavaliers went first, making their +horses caracole, and thus did all the company pass through the town into +the country, and on till they came to a defile through which the great +river Rhone rushes with marvellous swiftness. And when the mule which +had drank nothing for eight days saw the river, it sought neither bridge +nor ford, but made one leap into the river with its load, which was the +precious body of Madame. +</p> +<p> +All the attendants saw the accident, but they could give no help; so was +Madame drowned, which was a great misfortune. And the mule, when it had +drunk its fill, swam across the Rhone till it reached the shore, and was +saved. +</p> +<p> +All were much troubled and sorrowful that Madame was lost, and they +returned to the town. One of the servants went to the President, who +was in his room expecting the news; and with much sorrow told him of the +death of his wife. +</p> +<p> +The good President, who in his heart was more glad than sorry, showed +great contrition, and fell down, and displayed much sorrow and regret +for his good wife. He cursed the mule, and the wedding to which his wife +was going. +</p> +<p> +"And by God!" he said, "it is a great reproach to all you people that +were there that you did not save my poor wife, who loved you all so +much; you are all cowardly wretches, and you have clearly shown it." +</p> +<p> +The servant excused himself, as did the others also, as well as they +could, and left the President, who praised God with uplifted hands that +he was rid of his wife. +</p> +<p> +He gave his wife's body a handsome funeral, but—as you may +imagine—although he was of a fit and proper age, he took care never to +marry again, lest he should once more incur the same misfortune. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0048"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="48pg (135K)" src="images/48pg.jpg" height="942" width="600" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a woman who would not suffer herself to be kissed, though she +willingly gave up all the rest of her body except the mouth, to her +lover—and the reason that she gave for this.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +A noble youth fell in love with a young damsel who was married, and +when he had made her acquaintance, told her, as plainly as he could, his +case, and declared that he was ill for love of her,—and, to tell truth, +he was much smitten. +</p> +<p> +She listened to him graciously enough, and after their first interview, +he left well satisfied with the reply he had received. But if he +had been love sick before he made the avowal, he was still more +so afterwards. He could not sleep night or day for thinking of his +mistress, and by what means he could gain her favour. +</p> +<p> +He returned to the charge when he saw his opportunity, and God knows, +if he spoke well the first time, he played his part still better on +the second occasion, and, by good luck, he found his mistress not +disinclined to grant his request,—at which he was in no small degree +pleased. And as he had not always the time or leisure to come and see +her, he told her on that occasion of the desire he had to do her a +service in any manner that he could, and she thanked him and was as kind +as could be. +</p> +<p> +In short, he found in her so great courtesy, and kindness, and fair +words, that he could not reasonably expect more, and thereupon wished to +kiss, but she refused point-blank; nor could he even obtain a kiss when +he said farewell, at which he was much astonished. +</p> +<p> +After he had left her, he doubted much whether he should ever gain her +love, seeing that he could not obtain a single kiss, but he comforted +himself by remembering the loving words she had said when they parted, +and the hope she had given him. +</p> +<p> +He again laid siege to her; in short, came and went so often, that his +mistress at last gave him a secret assignation, where they could say +all that they had to say, in private. And when he took leave of her, he +embraced her gently and would have kissed her, but she defended herself +vigorously, and said to him, harshly; +</p> +<p> +"Go away, go away! and leave me alone! I do not want to be kissed!" +</p> +<p> +He excused his conduct as he best could, and left. +</p> +<p> +"What is this?" he said to himself. "I have never seen a woman like +that! She gives me the best possible reception, and has already given +me all that I have dared to ask—yet I cannot obtain one poor, little +kiss." +</p> +<p> +At the appointed time, he went to the place his mistress had named, and +did at his leisure that for which he came, for he lay in her arms all +one happy night, and did whatsoever he wished, except kiss her, and that +he could never manage. +</p> +<p> +"I do not understand these manners," he said to himself; "this woman +lets me sleep with her, and do whatever I like to her; but I have no +more chance of getting a single kiss than I have of finding the true +Cross! Morbleu! I cannot make it out; there is some mystery about it, +and I must find out what it is." +</p> +<p> +One day when they were enjoying themselves, and were both gay, he said, +</p> +<p> +"My dear, I beg of you to tell me the reason why you invariably refuse +to give me a kiss? You have graciously allowed me to enjoy all your fair +and sweet body—and yet you refuse me a little kiss!" +</p> +<p> +"Faith! my friend," she replied, "as you say, a kiss I have always +refused you,—so never expect it, for you will never get it. There is +a very good reason for that, as I will tell you. It is true that when +I married my husband, I promised him—with the mouth only—many fine +things. And since it is my mouth that swore and promised to be chaste, +I will keep it for him, and would rather die than let anyone else touch +it—it belongs to him and no other, and you must not expect to have +anything to do with it. But my backside has never promised or +sworn anything to him; do with that and the rest of me—my mouth +excepted—whatever you please; I give it all to you." +</p> +<p> +Her lover laughed loudly, and said; +</p> +<p> +"I thank you, dearest! You say well, and I am greatly pleased that you +are honest enough to keep your promise." +</p> +<p> +"God forbid," she answered, "that I should ever break it." +</p> +<p> +So, in the manner that you have heard, was this woman shared between +them; the husband, had the mouth only, and her lover all the rest, +and if, by chance, the husband ever used any other part of her, it was +rather by way of a loan, for they belonged to the lover by gift of the +said woman. But at all events the husband had this advantage, that his +wife was content to let him have the use of that which she had given to +her lover; but on no account would she permit the lover to enjoy that +which she had bestowed upon her husband. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0031"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/49.jpg" height="925" width="636" +alt="49.jpg" title="The Scarlet Backside. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0049"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="49pg (132K)" src="images/49pg.jpg" height="940" width="595" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FORTY-NINTH — THE SCARLET BACKSIDE. +</h2> +<h3> + By Pierre David. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of one who saw his wife with a man to whom she gave the whole of her +body, except her backside, which she left for her husband and he made +her dress one day when his friends were present in a woollen gown on the +backside of which was a piece of fine scarlet, and so left her before +all their friends.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +I am well aware that formerly there lived in the city of Arras, a worthy +merchant, who had the misfortune to have married a wife who was not the +best woman in the world, for, when she saw a chance, she would slip as +easily as an old cross-bow. +</p> +<p> +The good merchant suspected his wife's misdeeds, and was also informed +by several of his friends and neighbours. Thereupon he fell into a great +frenzy and profound melancholy; which did not mend matters. Then he +determined to try whether he could know for certain that which was +hardly likely to please him—that is to see one or more of those who +were his deputies come to his house to visit his wife. +</p> +<p> +So one day he pretended to go out, and hid himself in a chamber of his +house of which he alone had the key. The said chamber looked upon the +street and the courtyard, and by several secret openings and chinks upon +several other chambers in the house. +</p> +<p> +As soon as the good woman thought her husband had gone, she let one of +the lovers who used to come to her know of it, and he obeyed the summons +as he should, for he followed close on the heels of the wench who was +sent to fetch him. +</p> +<p> +The husband, who as has been said, was in his secret chamber, saw the +man who was to take his place enter the house, but he said not a word, +for he wished to know more if possible. +</p> +<p> +"When the lover was in the house, the lady led him by the hand into her +chamber, conversing all the while. Then she locked the door, and they +began to kiss and to cuddle, and enjoy themselves, and the good woman +pulled off her gown and appeared in a plain petticoat, and her companion +threw his arms round her, and did that for which he came. The poor +husband, meanwhile, saw all this through a little grating, and you may +imagine was not very comfortable; he was even so close to them that he +could hear plainly all they said. When the battle between the good woman +and her lover was over, they sat upon a couch that was in the chamber, +and talked of various matters. And as the lover looked upon his +mistress, who was marvellously fair, he began to kiss her again, and as +he kissed her he said; +</p> +<p> +"Darling, to whom does this sweet mouth belong?" +</p> +<p> +"It is yours, sweet friend," she replied. +</p> +<p> +"I thank you. And these beautiful eyes?" +</p> +<p> +"Yours also," she said. +</p> +<p> +"And this fair rounded bosom-does that belong to me?" he asked. +</p> +<p> +"Yes, by my oath, to you and none other," she replied. +</p> +<p> +Afterwards he put his hand upon her belly, and upon her "front" and each +time asked, "Whose is this, darling?" +</p> +<p> +"There is no need to ask; you know well enough that it is all yours." +</p> +<p> +Then he put his hand upon her big backside, and asked smiling, +</p> +<p> +"And whose is this?" +</p> +<p> +"It is my husband's," she said. "That is his share; but all the rest is +yours." +</p> +<p> +"Truly," he said, "I thank you greatly. I cannot complain, for you have +given me all the best parts. On the other hand, be assured that I am +yours entirely." +</p> +<p> +"I well know it," she said, and with that the combat of love began again +between them, and more vigorously than ever, and that being finished, +the lover left the house. +</p> +<p> +The poor husband, who had seen and heard everything, could stand no +more; he was in a terrible rage, nevertheless he suppressed his wrath, +and the next day appeared, as though he had just come back from a +journey. +</p> +<p> +At dinner that day, he said that he wished to give a great feast on +the following Sunday to her father and mother, and such and such of +her relations and cousins, and that she was to lay in great store of +provisions that they might enjoy themselves that day. She promised to do +this and to invite the guests. +</p> +<p> +Sunday came, the dinner was prepared, those who were bidden all +appeared, and each took the place the host designated, but the merchant +remained standing, and so did his wife, until the first course was +served. +</p> +<p> +When the first course was placed on the table, the merchant who had +secretly caused to be made for his wife a robe of thick duffle grey with +a large patch of scarlet cloth on the backside, said to his wife, "Come +with me to the bedroom." +</p> +<p> +He walked first, and she followed him. When they were there, he made her +take off her gown, and showing her the aforesaid gown of duffle grey, +said, "Put on this dress!" +</p> +<p> +She looked, and saw that it was made of coarse stuff, and was much +surprised, and could not imagine why her husband wished her to dress in +this manner. +</p> +<p> +"For what purpose do you wish me to put this on?" she asked. "Never +mind," he replied, "I wish you to wear it." "Faith!" she replied, +"I don't like it! I won't put it on! Are you mad? Do you want all your +people and mine to laugh at us both?" +</p> +<p> +"Mad or sane," he said, "you will wear it." "At least," she answered, +"let me know why." "You will know that in good time." In short, she was +compelled to put on this gown, which had a very strange appearance, and +in this apparel she was led to the table, where most of her relations +and friends were seated. +</p> +<p> +But you imagine they were very astonished to see her thus dressed, and, +as you may suppose, she was very much ashamed, and would not have come +to the table if she had not been compelled. +</p> +<p> +Some of her relatives said they had the right to know the meaning of +this strange apparel, but her husband replied that they were to enjoy +their dinner, and afterwards they should know. +</p> +<p> +The poor woman who was dressed in this strange garb could eat but +little; there was a mystery connected with the gown which oppressed her +spirits. She would have been even more troubled if she had known the +meaning of the scarlet patch, but she did not. +</p> +<p> +The dinner was at length over, the table was removed, grace was said, +and everyone stood up. Then the husband came forward and began to speak, +and said; +</p> +<p> +"All you who are here assembled, I will, if you wish, tell you briefly +why I have called you together, and why I have dressed my wife in this +apparel. It is true that I had been informed that your relative here +kept but ill the vows she had made to me before the priest, nevertheless +I would not lightly believe that which was told me, but wished to learn +the truth for myself, and six days ago I pretended to go abroad, and hid +myself in an upstairs chamber. I had scarcely come there before there +arrived a certain man, whom my wife led into her chamber, where they +did whatsoever best pleased them. And amongst other questions, the man +demanded of her to whom belonged her mouth, her eyes, her hands, her +belly, her 'front', and her thighs? And she replied, '<i>To you, dear</i>'. +And when he came to her backside, he asked, '<i>And whose is this, +darling?</i>' '<i>My husband's</i>' she replied. Therefore I have dressed her +thus. She said that only her backside was mine, and I have caused it it +to be attired as becomes my condition. The rest of her have I clad in +the garb which is befitting an unfaithful and dishonoured woman, for +such she is, and as such I give her back to you." +</p> +<p> +The company was much astonished to hear this speech, and the poor +woman overcome with shame. She never again occupied a position in her +husband's house, but lived, dishonoured and ashamed, amongst her own +people. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0050"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="50pg (125K)" src="images/50pg.jpg" height="942" width="587" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTIETH — TIT FOR TAT. <a href="#note-50" name="noteref-50">50</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Anthoine De La Sale. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a father who tried to kill his son because the young man wanted to +lie with his grandmother, and the reply made by the said son.</i> +</p></blockquote> + +<p> +Young men like to travel and to seek after adventures; and thus it was +with the son of a labourer, of Lannoys, who from the age of ten until +he was twenty-six, was away from home; and from his departure until +his return, his father and mother heard no news of him, so they often +thought that he was dead. +</p> +<p> +He returned at last, and God knows what joy there was in the house, and +how he was feasted to the best of such poor means as God had given them. +</p> +<p> +But the one who most rejoiced to see him was his grandmother, his +father's mother. She was most joyful at his return, and kissed him more +than fifty times, and ceased not to praise God for having restored her +grandson in good health. +</p> +<p> +After the feasting was over, bed-time came. There were in the cottage +but two beds—the one for the father and mother, and the other for +the grandmother. So it was arranged that the son should sleep with +his grandmother, at which she was very glad, but he grumbled, and only +complied to oblige his parents, and as a makeshift for one night. +</p> +<p> +When he was in bed with his grandmother, it happened, I know not how, +that he began to get on the top of her. +</p> +<p> +"What are you doing?" she cried. +</p> +<p> +"Never you mind," he replied, "and hold your tongue." When she saw that +he really meant to ravish her, she began to cry out as loud as she could +for her son, who slept in the next room, and then jumped out of bed and +went and complained to him, weeping bitterly meanwhile. +</p> +<p> +When the other heard his mother's complaint, and the unfilial conduct +of his son, he sprang out of bed in great wrath, and swore that he would +kill the young man. +</p> +<p> +The son heard this threat, so he rose quickly, slipped out of the house, +and made his escape. His father followed him, but not being so light of +foot, found the pursuit hopeless, so returned home, where his mother was +still grieving over the offence her grandson had committed. +</p> +<p> +"Never mind, mother!" he said. "I will avenge you." +</p> +<p> +I know not how many days after that, the father saw his son playing +tennis in the town of Laon, and drawing his dagger, went towards him, +and would have stabbed him, but the young man slipped away and his +father was seized and disarmed. +</p> +<p> +There were many there who knew that the two were father and son; so one +said to the son, +</p> +<p> +"How does this come about? What have you done to your father that he +should seek to kill you?" +</p> +<p> +"Faith! nothing," he replied. "He is quite in the wrong. He wants to do +me all the harm in the world, because, just for once, I would ride his +mother—whereas he has mounted mine more than five hundred times, and I +never said a word about it." +</p> +<p> +All those who heard this reply began to haugh heartily, and swore that +he must be a good fellow. So they did their best to make peace for him +with his father, and at last they succeeded, and all was forgiven and +forgotten on both sides. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0051"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="51pg (132K)" src="images/51pg.jpg" height="944" width="589" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL FATHERS. +</h2> +<h3> + By The Editor. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a woman who on her death-bed, in the absence of her husband, made +over her children to those to whom they belonged, and how one of the +youngest of the children informed his father.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +There formerly lived in Paris, a woman who was married to a good and +simple man—he was one of our friends and it would have been impossible +to have had a better. This woman was very beautiful and complaisant, +and, when she was young, she never refused her favours to those who +pleased her, so that she had as many children by her lovers as by her +husband—about twelve or thirteen in all. +</p> +<p> +When at last she was very ill, and about to die, she thought she would +confess her sins and ease her conscience. She had all her children +brought to her, and it almost broke her heart to think of leaving them. +She thought it would not be right to leave her husband the charge of +so many children, of some of which he was not the father, though he +believed he was, and thought her as good a woman as any in Paris. +</p> +<p> +By means of a woman who was nursing her, she sent for two men who in +past times had been favoured lovers. They came to her at once, whilst +her husband was gone away to fetch a doctor and an apothecary, as she +had begged him to do. +</p> +<p> +When she saw these two men, she made all her children come to her, and +then said; +</p> +<p> +"You, such an one, you know what passed between us two in former days. I +now repent of it bitterly, and if Our Lord does not show me the mercy +I ask of Him, it will cost me dear in the next world. I have committed +faults, I know, but to add another to them would be to make matters +worse. Here are such and such of my children;—they are yours, and my +husband believes that they are his. You cannot have the conscience to +make him keep them, so I beg that after my death, which will be very +soon, that you will take them, and bring them up as a father should, for +they are, in fact, your own." +</p> +<p> +She spoke in the same manner to the other man, showing him the other +children: +</p> +<p> +"Such and such are, I assure you, yours. I leave them to your care, +requesting you to perform your duty towards them. If you will promise me +to care for them, I shall die in peace." +</p> +<p> +As she was thus distributing her children, her husband returned home, +and was met by one of his little sons, who was only about four years +old. The child ran downstairs to him in such haste that he nearly lost +his breath, and when he came to his father, he said, +</p> +<p> +"Alas, father! come quickly, in God's name!" +</p> +<p> +"What has happened?" asked his father. "Is your mother dead?" +</p> +<p> +"No, no," said the child, "but make haste upstairs, or you will have no +children left. Two men have come to see mother, and she is giving them +most of my brothers and sisters. If you do not make haste, she will give +them all away." +</p> +<p> +The good man could not understand what his son meant, so he hastened +upstairs, and found his wife very ill, and with her the nurse, two of +his neighbours, and his children. +</p> +<p> +He asked the meaning of the tale his son had told him about giving away +his children. +</p> +<p> +"You will know later on," she said; so he did not trouble himself +further, for he never doubted her in the least. +</p> +<p> +The neighbours went away, commending the dying woman to God, and +promising to do all she had requested, for which she thanked them. +</p> +<p> +When the hour of her death drew near, she begged her husband to pardon +her, and told him of the misdeeds she had committed during the years she +had lived with him, and how such and such of the children belonged to +a certain man, and such to another—that is to say those +before-mentioned—and that after her death they would take charge of +their own children. +</p> +<p> +He was much astonished to hear this news, nevertheless he pardoned her +for all her misdeeds, and then she died, and he sent the children to the +persons she had mentioned, who kept them. +</p> +<p> +And thus he was rid of his wife and his children, and felt much +less regret for the loss of his wife than he did for the loss of the +children. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0032"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/52.jpg" height="930" width="629" +alt="52.jpg" title="The Three Reminders. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0052"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="52pg (136K)" src="images/52pg.jpg" height="945" width="609" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND — THE THREE REMINDERS. <a href="#note-52" name="noteref-52">52</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of three counsels that a father when on his deathbed gave his son, but +to which the son paid no heed. And how he renounced a young girl he had +married, because he saw her lying with the family chaplain the first +night after their wedding.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +Once upon a time there was a nobleman who was wise, prudent, and +virtuous. When he was on his deathbed, he settled his affairs, eased +his conscience as best he could, and then called his only son to whom he +left his worldly wealth. +</p> +<p> +After asking his son to be sure and pray for the repose of his soul and +that of his mother, to help them out of purgatory, he gave him three +farewell counsels, saying; "My dear son, I advise you first of all +never to stay in the house of a friend who gives you black bread to eat. +Secondly, never gallop your horse in a valley. Thirdly, never choose a +wife of a foreign nation. Always bear these three things in mind, and I +have no doubt you will be fortunate,—but, if you act to the contrary, +be sure you would have done better to follow your father's advice." +</p> +<p> +The good son thanked his father for his wise counsels, and promised that +he would heed them, and never act contrary to them. +</p> +<p> +His father died soon after, and was buried with all befitting pomp +and ceremony; for his son wished to do his duty to one to whom he owed +everything. +</p> +<p> +Some time after this, the young nobleman, who was now an orphan and did +not understand household affairs, made the acquaintance of a neighbour, +whom he constantly visited, drinking and eating at his house. +</p> +<p> +This friend, who was married and had a beautiful wife, became very +jealous, and suspected that our young nobleman came on purpose to see +his wife, and that he was in reality her lover. +</p> +<p> +This made him very uncomfortable but he could think of no means of +getting rid of his guest, for it would have been useless to have told +him what he thought, so he determined that little by little he would +behave in such a way that, if the young man were not too stupid, he +would see that his frequent visits were far from welcome. +</p> +<p> +To put this project into execution, he caused black bread to be served +at meals, instead of white. After a few of these repasts, the young +nobleman remembered his father's advice. He knew that he done wrong, and +secretly hid a piece of the black bread in his sleeve, and took it home +with him, and to remind himself, he hung it by a piece of string from a +nail in the wall of his best chamber, and did not visit his neighbour's +house as formerly. +</p> +<p> +One day after that, he, being fond of amusement, was in the fields, and +his dogs put up a hare. He spurred his horse after them, and came +up with them in a valley, when his horse, which was galloping fast, +slipped, and broke its neck. +</p> +<p> +He was very thankful to find that his life was safe, and that he had +escaped without injury. He had the hare for his reward, and as he held +it up, and then looked at the horse of which he had been so fond, he +remembered the second piece of advice his father had given him, and +which, if he had kept in mind, he would have been spared the loss of his +horse, and also the risk of losing his life. +</p> +<p> +When he arrived home, he had the horse's skin hung by a cord next to the +black bread; to remind him of the second counsel his father had given +him. +</p> +<p> +Some time after this, he took it in his head to travel and see foreign +countries, and having arranged all his affairs, he set out on his +journey, and after seeing many strange lands, he at last took up his +abode in the house of a great lord, where he became such a favourite +that the lord was pleased to give him his daughter in marriage, on +account of his pleasant manners and virtues. +</p> +<p> +In short, he was betrothed to the girl, and the wedding-day came. But +when he supposed that he was to pass the night with her, he was told +that it was not the custom of the country to sleep the first night with +one's wife, and that he must have patience until the next night. +</p> +<p> +"Since it is the custom of the country," he said, "I do not wish it +broken for me." +</p> +<p> +After the dancing was over, his bride was conducted to one room, and +he to another. He saw that there was only a thin partition of plaster +between the two rooms. He made a hole with his sword in the partition, +and saw his bride jump into bed; he saw also the chaplain of the +household jump in after her, to keep her company in case she was afraid, +or else to try the merchandise, or take tithes as monks do. +</p> +<p> +Our young nobleman, when he saw these goings on, reflected that he still +had some tow left on his distaff, and then there flashed across his mind +the recollection of the counsel his good father had given him, and which +he had so badly kept. +</p> +<p> +He comforted himself with the thought that the affair had not gone so +far that he could not get out of it. +</p> +<p> +The next day, the good chaplain, who had been his substitute for the +night, rose early in the morning, but unfortunately left his breeches +under the bride's bed. The young nobleman, not pretending to know +anything, came to her bedside, and politely saluted her, as he well knew +how, and found means to surreptitiously take away the priest's breeches +without anyone seeing him. +</p> +<p> +There were great rejoicings all that day, and when evening came, the +bride's bed was prepared and decorated in a most marvellous manner, and +she went to bed. The bridegroom was told that that night he could sleep +with his wife. He was ready with a reply, and said to the father and +mother, and other relations. +</p> +<p> +"You know not who I am, and yet you have given me your daughter, and +bestowed on me the greatest honour ever done to a foreign gentleman, +and for which I cannot sufficiently thank you. Nevertheless, I have +determined never to lie with my wife until I have shown her, and you +too, who I am, what I possess, and how I am housed." +</p> +<p> +The girl's father immediately replied, +</p> +<p> +"We are well aware that you are a nobleman, and in a high position, and +that God has not given you so many good qualities without friends and +riches to accompany them. We are satisfied, therefore do not leave +your marriage unconsummated; we shall have time to see your state and +condition whenever you like." +</p> +<p> +To shorten the story, he vowed and swore that he would never sleep +with her if it were not in his own house, and he conducted thither the +bride's father and mother, and many of her relations and friends. He +put his house in order to receive them, and to do so arrived there a day +before them. And as soon as he alighted, he took the priest's breeches, +and hung them in the chamber, by the black bread and the horse's skin. +</p> +<p> +Most cordially received were the relations and friends of the fair +bride, and they were much astonished to see the house of the young +gentleman so well furnished with vessels, carpets, and all other kinds +of furniture, and they thought themselves lucky to have procured such a +husband for the girl. +</p> +<p> +As they were looking round, they came to the great chamber, which was +all hung round with fair tapestry, and they perceived the brown bread, +the horse's skin, and a pair of breeches hanging there; at which they +were much astonished, and asked their host the meaning. +</p> +<p> +He replied that he would willingly, and for a very good reason, tell +them the meaning,—but after they had eaten. +</p> +<p> +Dinner was prepared, and God knows that it was well served, They had no +sooner dined, than they demanded the interpretation of the mystery of +the black bread, the horse's skin etc., and the worthy young gentleman +related the story at length, and told how his father,—being on his +death-bed as has been already narrated,—gave him three counsels. +</p> +<p> +"The first was never to remain in a house where they gave me black +bread. I paid no heed to this advice, for, after his death, I frequented +the house of a neighbour, who became jealous of his wife, and in place +of the white bread with which I was always served, gave me black; so in +recollection and acknowledgment of the truth of that advice, I hung that +piece of black bread there. The second counsel that my father gave me, +was never to gallop my horse in a valley. I did not bear that in mind, +and suffered for it, for one day, when riding in a valley after a hare +pursued by my dogs, my horse fell and broke its neck, and it is a wonder +I was not badly hurt. To remind me of my escape from death, the skin of +the horse I then lost is hung there. The third counsel and advice that +my father—whose soul is with God—gave me, was never to marry a woman +of a strange nation. In this also I failed, and I will tell you what +happened to me. The first night after I was married to your daughter, +and you refused to let me sleep with her, I was lodged in a chamber +close to hers, and as the partition between her and me was but thin, I +pierced a hole with my sword, and I saw the chaplain of your household +come and lie with her; but he left his breeches under the bed when he +rose in the morning—which breeches I obtained possession of, and +have hung them there as evidence of the everlasting truth of the third +counsel that my late father gave me, and which I had not duly remembered +and borne in mind; but in order that I may not again fall into the same +errors, have placed here these three objects to render me prudent. And +because—thank God—I am not so much committed to your daughter that she +cannot now leave me, I would ask of you to take her back, and return to +your own country, for as long as I live I will never come near her. But, +because I have made you come a long way to show you that I am not the +sort of man to take a priest's leavings, I am prepared to pay your +expenses." +</p> +<p> +The others did not know what to say, but seeing that their misdeeds were +discovered, and seeing also that being far from their own country, force +would not be on their side, were content to take the money for their +expenses, and return whence they came; for if they had staked more they +would have lost more. +</p> +<p> +Such, as you have heard, were the three counsels which the good father +gave his son, and which should not be forgotten; let everyone remember +them, so far as they concern himself. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0053"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="53pg (141K)" src="images/53pg.jpg" height="938" width="598" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES. +</h2> +<h3> + By The Archivist Of Brussels. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of two men and two women who were waiting to be married at the first +Mass in the early morning; and because the priest could not see well, he +took the one for the other, and gave to each man the wrong wife, as you +will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +One morning there were assembled in the cathedral of Sainte Gudule at +Brussels, many men and women who wished to be married at the first Mass, +which is said between four and five o'clock; and amongst others who +wished to enter this sweet and happy condition, and promise before the +priest to live honestly and uprightly, were a young man and a young +woman who were not rich, who were standing near each other, waiting for +the priest to call them to marry them. +</p> +<p> +Near them were an old man and an old woman, who had great possessions +and wealth, but who, out of covetousness and the desire to have more, +had also promised troth to one another, and were also waiting to be +married at this first Mass. +</p> +<p> +The priest came and recited this much-desired Mass, and at the end +thereof, as is the custom, had ranged before him those who wished to +be married, of whom there were many, without counting the four I have +mentioned. +</p> +<p> +Now you must know that the good priest who was standing ready before the +altar to accomplish the wedding rites, was blind of one eye, having lost +an eye by some mischance a little time before. Also there was hardly any +light in the chapel or on the altar, and, as it was winter, it was very +dark. So he could not see the couples properly, and when he came to +marry them, he took the rich old man and the poor, young girl, and +joined them together with the wedding ring. +</p> +<p> +On the other hand, he also took the poor, young man and married him to +the rich, old woman,—without any of those in the church noticing it, +either men or women—which was very strange, especially on the part of +the men, for they dare to raise their heads and their eyes when they are +on their knees before the priest, whilst the women who are modest and +shy, always look down on the ground. +</p> +<p> +It is the custom on leaving the church for the friends of the bride to +meet her, and conduct her to her husband's house. So it was that the +poor, young girl was taken to the house of the rich man, and also the +rich, old woman was escorted to the cottage of the young man. +</p> +<p> +When the young bride found herself in the court, and then in the great +hall of the house of the man she had married by mistake, she was much +astonished, and knew well that was not the house she had left that +morning. When she was in the dressing-room, which was hung round with +rich tapestries, she saw a large fire, a table well covered, on which a +good breakfast was all ready, and a handsome sideboard, well garnished +with vessels of all sorts, and was more astonished than ever, and +thought it strange she did not know a soul present to whom she could +speak. +</p> +<p> +She was soon relieved of the cloak in which she was huddled-up, and when +the bridegroom and the others who were there saw her uncovered, you +may guess they were as much surprised as though horns had cropped up on +their heads. +</p> +<p> +"What?" said the bridegroom. "Is that my wife? By Our Lady, I am very +lucky. She is much changed since yesterday; I think she must have been +to the fountain of youth." +</p> +<p> +"We do not know," replied those who had brought her, "whence she comes, +or what she has done; but we are certain that is the woman you have +married, for we took her at the altar, and since then she has never left +our hands." +</p> +<p> +They were all much astonished, and remained long without saying a word, +but the most foolish-looking and surprised of all was the poor bride; +she was quite downcast and wept gently, for she would have much +preferred to be with her lover, whom she had expected to marry that day. +</p> +<p> +The bridegroom, seeing her so miserable, had pity on her, and said, +</p> +<p> +"My dear, do not be downcast; you are in a good house, please God, and +no one is going to do you any harm. But tell me, if you please, who you +are, and what information you can as to how you came here." +</p> +<p> +When she heard herself spoken to so courteously, she regained a little +courage, and gave the names of her father and mother, and said that +she was of Brussels, and was betrothed to a certain young man, whom she +named, and whom she had expected to have married. +</p> +<p> +The bridegroom, and all those who were there, began to laugh, and said +that the priest had played them this trick. +</p> +<p> +"Well, God be praised for the change!" said the bridegroom at last. "I +do not greatly regret that God sent you to me, and I promise you on my +word to make you a good husband." +</p> +<p> +"No, no," she said, weeping. "You are not my husband. I wish to go back +to him to whom my father gave me." +</p> +<p> +"That shall not be," said he. "I married you in the holy church, and you +cannot deny it. You are, and you will remain, my wife; and be content, +for you are very lucky. I have, thank God, riches enough, of which you +shall be the lady and mistress, and you will be very comfortable." +</p> +<p> +He, and the others who were there, talked her over till at last she +consented. So they had a light breakfast together, and then went to bed, +and the old man did the best he knew how. +</p> +<p> +But let us return to the old woman, and the young man. +</p> +<p> +When she found herself in the house, she was in a great rage, and said; +</p> +<p> +"What am I doing here? Why do you not take me either to my own house, or +to the house of my husband?" +</p> +<p> +The bridegroom, when he saw the old woman, and heard her speak, was much +surprised, and so were his father and mother, and all who were there +assembled. Then came out the father and mother, who knew the old woman, +and the father spoke to his son, and said, +</p> +<p> +"My son, they have given you the wife of some one else, and it is to be +supposed he has your wife. It is all the fault of our curé, who sees +so badly, and—God help me—I was so far away from you when you were +married that I never perceived the change." +</p> +<p> +"What must I do?" asked the bridegroom. +</p> +<p> +"Upon my word," said his father, "I do not well know, but I greatly +doubt if you can have any other wife than this." +</p> +<p> +"St. John!" said the old woman, "I will not have him. I do not care for +such a sorry fellow! I should be very happy, should I not? with a young +fellow who did not care for me and would spend all my money, and if, I +ventured to say a word would give me a crack on the head. Go away! go +away! and fetch your wife, and let me go where I ought to be." +</p> +<p> +"By Our Lady!" said the bridegroom, "if I can get her back, I would +rather have her than you, however poor she may be; but if I cannot +obtain her, you will not go." +</p> +<p> +His father, and some of his relations, went to the house where the +old woman wished to be, and found the company breakfasting well, and +preparing the caudle for the bride and bridegroom. +</p> +<p> +The father stated the case, but the others replied, +</p> +<p> +"You come too late; each must keep what he has; the master of the house +is content with the wife that God has given him; he wedded her, and he +does not want any other. And do not complain, for you would never have +been so fortunate as to get your daughter married so well; now you will +all be rich." +</p> +<p> +The father returned home, and reported the answer he had, at which the +old woman was in a great rage. +</p> +<p> +"Indeed!" she said, "am I to be deceived in this manner? By God, the +matter shall not rest here; justice shall be done me!" +</p> +<p> +If the old woman was displeased, as much, or more, was the young man, +who was deprived of his ladylove. Still, he might have looked over that +if he could have had the old woman, and all her money, but it was no +good, she made herself so disagreeable that he was obliged to let her +return home. +</p> +<p> +So he was advised to summon her before the Bishop of Cambrai; and she +also summoned the old man who had married the young woman, and a great +lawsuit began, judgment in which is not given yet, so I can tell you no +more about it. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0033"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/54.jpg" height="881" width="603" +alt="54.jpg" title="The Right Moment. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0054"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="54pg (138K)" src="images/54pg.jpg" height="949" width="594" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH — THE RIGHT MOMENT. +</h2> +<h3> + By Mahiot D'auquesnes. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a damsel of Maubeuge who gave herself up to a waggoner, and refused +many noble lovers; and of the reply that she made to a noble knight +because he reproached her for this—as you will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +A noble knight of Flanders—young, lusty, and a good jouster, dancer, +and singer, was once living in the county of Hainault with another +noble knight of the same rank then living there, though he had a fine +residence in Flanders. Love—as often happens—was the cause that he +remained there, for he was much smitten by a damsel of Maubeuge, and God +knows what he did for her; often giving jousts, masquerades, banquets, +and whatever else was possible, and that he thought would please his +mistress. +</p> +<p> +He was to some extent in her good graces for a time, but not so much +as he wished to be. His friend, the knight of Hainault, who knew of his +love affair, did all he could to assist him, and it was not his fault +that his friend did not succeed better. But why make a long story? The +good knight of Flanders, do all he would, and his friend also, could +never obtain from the lady the supreme favour, but found her still +harsh and unkind. +</p> +<p> +At last he was compelled to return to Flanders; so he took leave of his +mistress, and left his friend there, and promised that if he did not +return shortly he would often write to her, and give news about himself; +and she promised the same on her side. +</p> +<p> +Now it came to pass that a few days after the knight had returned to +Flanders, that the lady wished to go on a pilgrimage, and made her +arrangements accordingly. +</p> +<p> +And when the carriage was in front of her house, and the waggoner, who +was a lusty fellow, strong and active, in it, preparing it for her, that +she threw a cushion on his head, which caused him to fall on his hands +and knees, at which she laughed loud and long. +</p> +<p> +"By God, mademoiselle, you made me fall, but I will have my revenge, and +before night I will make you tumble." +</p> +<p> +"You would not be so unkind," she replied, and so saying she took another +cushion, and when the waggoner was off his guard, she knocked him down +again, and then laughed more heartily than ever. +</p> +<p> +"What is this, mademoiselle?" cried the waggoner. "Do you want to hurt +me? I swear that if I were near you I would take my revenge at once." +</p> +<p> +"What would you do?" said she. +</p> +<p> +"If I were up there I would show you," he replied. +</p> +<p> +"You would do miracles—to hear you talk; but you would never dare to +come." +</p> +<p> +"No?" said he. "You shall see." +</p> +<p> +He jumped out of the vehicle, entered the house, and ran upstairs, where +he found the damsel in her petticoat, and as happy as she could be. +He at once began to assail her, and—to cut matters short—she was not +sorry to let him take what she could not in honour have given him. +</p> +<p> +At the end of the appointed time she brought forth a fine little +waggoner. The matter was not so secret but what the knight of Hainault +heard of it, and was much surprised. +</p> +<p> +He wrote in haste, and sent the letter by a messenger to his friend in +Flanders, to say that his mistress had had a child with the help of a +waggoner. +</p> +<p> +You may guess that the other was much surprised at the news, and he +quickly came to Hainault to his friend, and begged of him to come and +see his mistress and upbraid her with her misdeeds. +</p> +<p> +Although she was keeping herself concealed at the time, the two knights +found means to come to her. She was much ashamed and vexed to see them, +as she well knew she would hear nothing pleasant from them, but she +plucked up her courage, and put on the best countenance she could. +</p> +<p> +They began by talking of various matters; and then the good knight of +Flanders began his tirade, and called her all the names he could think +of. +</p> +<p> +"You are," he said, "the most shameful and depraved woman in the world, +and you have shown the wickedness of your heart by abandoning yourself +to a low villain of a waggoner; although many noble persons offered you +their services and you refused them all. For my own part, you know what +I did to gain your love, and was I not more deserving of reward than a +rascally waggoner who never did anything for you?" +</p> +<p> +"I beg of you, monsieur," she replied, "to say no more about it—what +is done cannot be undone—but I tell you plainly that if you had come at +the moment when the waggoner did, that I would have done for you what I +did for him." +</p> +<p> +"Is that so?" he said. "By St. John! he came at a lucky moment! Devil +take it! why was I not so fortunate as to know the right time to come." +</p> +<p> +"Truly," she said, "he came just at the moment when he ought to have +come." +</p> +<p> +"Oh, go to the devil!" he cried, "your moments, and you, and your +waggoner as well." +</p> +<p> +And with that he left, and his friend followed him, and they never had +anything more to do with her,—and for a very good reason. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0034"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/55.jpg" height="934" width="645" +alt="55.jpg" title="A Cure for the Plague. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0055"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="55pg (124K)" src="images/55pg.jpg" height="936" width="591" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH — A CURE FOR THE PLAGUE. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur De Villiers. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a girl who was ill of the plague and caused the death of three men +who lay with her, and how the fourth was saved, and she also.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In the year of the pardons of Rome (*) just past, the plague was +so great and terrible in Dauphiné, that the greater part of the +better-class people left the country. +</p> +<pre> + (*) The great Jubilee of 1450. +</pre> +<p> +At that time a fair, young damsel felt herself stricken with the malady, +and at once repaired to a neighbour, a woman of good condition, and +rather old, and related her piteous condition. +</p> +<p> +The neighbour, who was a wise and prudent woman, was not frightened +at what the told her, and had even sufficient courage and assurance +to comfort her with words, and what little she could do in the way of +medicine. "Alas!" said the young girl who was sick, "my good neighbour, +I greatly grieve that I must now leave the world and all the happinesses +and amusements I have long enjoyed! But, by my oath! and between +ourselves, my greatest sorrow is that I must die before I have known and +tasted the good things of this world; such and such young men have often +solicited me, and I bluntly refused them, for which I am now sorry; and +if I die I shall never have another chance to let a man show me how to +lose my maidenhead. They have told me that it is so pleasant and good, +that I sorrow for my fair and tender body, which must rot without +having had this much desired pleasure. And, to tell the truth, my good +neighbour, it seems to me that if I once tasted this delight before my +death, my end would be easier—I should die more easily, and with less +regret. And, what is more, my heart is so set upon this that it might be +medicine to me, and the cause of my cure." +</p> +<p> +"Would to God!" said the old woman, "that nothing else were needed; you +would be soon cured it seems to me, for—thank God—our town is not yet +so destitute of of men that we cannot find a good fellow to do this job +for you." +</p> +<p> +"My good neighbour," said the young girl, "I would beg of you to go +to such an one"—whom she named, who was a fine gentleman, and who had +formerly been in love with her—"and tell him to come here and speak to +me." +</p> +<p> +The old woman set out, and found the gentleman, whom she sent to the +house. As soon as he came there, the young girl, who, on account of her +disease had a high colour, threw her arms round his neck, and kissed him +twenty times. The young man, more joyful than ever to find her whom he +had so much loved abandon herself to him, seized her without more ado, +and showed her that which she so much desired to know. +</p> +<p> +She was not ashamed to beg and pray him to continue as he had commenced; +and, in short, she made him begin again so often that he could do no +more. When she saw that, as she had not yet had her fill, she was bold +enough to say; +</p> +<p> +"My friend you have often beseeched for that which I ask you now. You +have done all that in you is, I know well. Nevertheless, I know that I +have not all I want, and I am sure that I cannot live unless some one +else comes and does to me what you have done, and therefore I beg of +you, if you value my life, to go to such an one and bring him hither." +</p> +<p> +"It is true, my dear, that I know well he will do what you want." +</p> +<p> +The gentleman was much astonished at the request; nevertheless, though +he had worked till he could do no more, he went off and found his +companion, and brought him to her, and he soon set to work as the other +had done. +</p> +<p> +When he was played out as his friend had been, she was not ashamed to +ask him, as she had done the first, to bring to her another gentleman, +and he did so. +</p> +<p> +This made three with whom she had fought a love battle and defeated them +all; but you must know that the first gentleman felt ill, and stricken +with the plague, as soon as he had sent his friend to take his place; so +he hastened to the priest, and confessed as best he could, and then died +in the priest's arms. +</p> +<p> +His friend also, the second comer, as soon as he had given up his place +to the third, felt very ill, and asked everywhere after the one who was +already dead. He met the priest, weeping and exhibiting great grief, who +told him of the death of his friend. +</p> +<p> +"Ah, monsieur le curé, I am stricken as he was; hear my confession." +</p> +<p> +The curé, in a great fright, made haste to hear his confession, and, +when that was finished, the gentleman, though within two hours of his +end, went to her from whom he and his friend had taken the contagion, +and found with her the man he had fetched, and said to her; +</p> +<p> +"Cursed woman! you have killed me and my friend also. You ought to be +burned to death! Nevertheless I pardon you, and may God pardon you! +You have the plague, and have given it to my friend, who died in the +priest's arms, and I shall soon follow him." With that he left, and died +an hour later in his own house. +</p> +<p> +The third gentleman, who had run the same risks as his companions, who +were both dead, did not feel very safe. Nevertheless, he took courage, +and cast aside all fear, and bethought him that he had often been in +perils and dangerous battles before, and went to the father and mother +of the girl who had killed his two companions, and told them that their +daughter was ill, and that they must take care of her. That being done, +he so conducted himself that he escaped the danger of which his two +friends had died. +</p> +<p> +Now you must know that when this slayer of men was brought back to her +father's house, whilst they were making a bed ready in which she could +repose and sweat, she sent secretly for the son of a shoe-maker, a +neighbour, and had him brought to her father's stable, where she made +him work as she had done the others, but he did not live four hours +after. +</p> +<p> +She was put to bed, and they made her sweat greatly. And soon there +appeared upon her body four buboes, of which she was afterwards cured. +And I believe that you will find her now amongst the prostitutes at +Avignon, Vienne, Valence, or some other place in Dauphiné. +</p> +<p> +And the doctors said that she had escaped death because she had tasted +the joys of this life; which is a notable and true example to many young +girls to never refuse a good thing when it comes in their way. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0056"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="56pg (130K)" src="images/56pg.jpg" height="931" width="595" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, THE PRIEST, THE SERVANT, AND THE +</h2> +<center> +WOLF. +</center> +<p> +By Monseigneur De Villiers. +</p> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a gentleman who caught, in a trap that he laid, his wife, the +priest, her maid, and a wolf; and burned them all alive, because his +wife committed adultery with the priest.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In a town in this kingdom, in the duchy of Auvergne, there formerly +lived a gentleman, who, to his misfortune, had a very pretty young wife. +</p> +<p> +This damsel was acquainted with a priest, a neighbour, who lived half a +league off, and they were so neighbourly together that the good priest +took the gentleman's place whenever he was absent. +</p> +<p> +And this damsel had a waiting-maid who was acquainted with all their +doings, and often carried messages to the priest, and advised him of the +place and hour when he could safely come to her mistress. +</p> +<p> +The matter was not so well hid as the lovers would have liked, for a +gentleman, who was a near relative of him to whom this dishonour was +done, was informed of the affair, and told the person most concerned all +that he knew. +</p> +<p> +You may fancy that the good gentleman, when he heard that in his absence +his wife was helped by the priest, was not overpleaaed, and if it had +not been for his cousin would have taken terrible vengeance as soon as +he heard the news; but consented to put it off until he had taken them +both in the act. +</p> +<p> +He and his cousin arranged to go on a pilgrimage, four or six leagues +from home, and take his wife and the priest, in order to take note how +they behaved towards each other. +</p> +<p> +As they were returning from this pilgrimage, during which the curé had +made love as he best could,—that is to say by glances and other little +devices—the husband caused himself to be sent for by a messenger he had +instructed, to come at once to a lord of that country. +</p> +<p> +He pretended to be very vexed, and to leave with much regret, +—nevertheless, since the lord had sent for him he could not disobey. So +he went his way, and his cousin, the other gentleman, said that he would +keep him company, as that was his way to return home. +</p> +<p> +The priest and the lady much rejoiced to hear this news; they consulted +together and decided that the priest should take leave and quit the +house, in order that none of the people there might suspect him, and +about midnight he would return to the lady, as he was accustomed. No +sooner was this determined on than the priest said farewell, and left +the house. +</p> +<p> +Now you must know that the husband and his relative were hidden in a +gorge through which the priest would have to pass, and could neither go +or return any other way, without going out of the right road. +</p> +<p> +They saw the priest pass, and judged that he would return that night—as +indeed was his intention. They let him pass without saying a word, and +then prepared a large pitfall, with the help of some peasants who aided +them in the task. The trap was quickly and well made, and it was not +long before a wolf, passing that way, fell into the pit. +</p> +<p> +Soon after came the priest, clad in a short gown, and with a curtle axe +hung round his neck; and when he came to where the pitfall had been dug, +he fell into it on the wolf, at which he was much alarmed, and the wolf, +who was down there first, was as much afraid of the priest as the priest +was of it. +</p> +<p> +When the two gentlemen saw the priest lodged along with the wolf, they +were much delighted, and he who was most concerned, declared that the +priest should never come out alive, for he would kill him there. The +other blamed him for this, and did not wish the priest killed, and was +of opinion they should rather cut off his genitals; but the husband +wanted him killed, and this discussion lasted for a long time, while +they were awaiting the dawn, when they could see clearly. +</p> +<p> +Whilst they were thus waiting, the lady, who expected the priest, and +did not know why he tarried so long, sent her servant-maid in order to +make him hurry. +</p> +<p> +The maid, whilst on her road to the cure's house, fell into the trap +with the wolf and the curé. She was much astonished to find herself in +such company. +</p> +<p> +"Alas!" said the priest, "I am lost. We have been found out, and someone +has laid this trap for us." +</p> +<p> +The husband and his cousin, who heard and saw all, were both as pleased +as they could be; and they felt as sure as though the Holy Spirit had +revealed it to them, that the mistress would fellow the maid, for they +had heard the maid say that her mistress had sent her to the priest to +know why he had failed to come at the hour agreed upon between them. +</p> +<p> +The mistress, finding that neither the curé or the maid came, and that +dawn was approaching, suspected that there was something, and that she +should find them in a little wood there was on the road—which was where +the trap was laid—and determined to go there and try and find out if +there was any news. +</p> +<p> +She walked along towards the priest's house, and when she came to the +spot where the trap was laid, she tumbled in along with the others. +</p> +<p> +When they found themselves all assembled, it need not be said that they +were much astonished, and each did his or her utmost to get out of the +pit, but it was no good, and they looked upon themselves as being as +good as dead, as well as dishonoured. +</p> +<p> +Then the two prime movers in the affair—that is to say the husband of +the lady, and his cousin—came to the edge of the pit, and saluted the +company, and told them to be comfortable, and asked them if they were +ready for breakfast. +</p> +<p> +The husband, who was anxious for his revenge, managed to send his cousin +to look after their horses, which were at a house near by, and when he +had got rid of him, he made all the haste he could, and threw a +quantity of brushwood into the pit, and set it on fire, and burned them +all—wife, priest, waiting-woman and wolf. +</p> +<p> +After that he left that part of the country, and went to the King to ask +his pardon, which he easily obtained. +</p> +<p> +And some say that the King remarked that it was a pity the poor wolf +should have been burned alive for the faults of the others. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0035"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/57.jpg" height="910" width="644" +alt="57.jpg" title="The Obliging Brother. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0057"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="57pg (129K)" src="images/57pg.jpg" height="925" width="594" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH — THE OBLIGING BROTHER. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monsieur De Villiers. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a damsel who married a shepherd, and how the marriage was arranged, +and what a gentleman, the brother of the damsel, said.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +As you are all ready to listen to me, and no one comes forward at the +present moment to continue this glorious and edifying book of a Hundred +Stories, I will relate an instance which happened formerly in Dauphiné, +fit to be included in the number of the said novels. +</p> +<p> +A gentleman who lived in Dauphiné, had in his house a sister, aged +about eighteen or twenty, who was a companion to his wife, who loved her +dearly, so that they agreed together like two sisters. +</p> +<p> +It happened that this gentleman was bidden to the house of a neighbour, +who lived a couple of short leagues away, to visit him, and took with +him his wife and sister. They went, and God knows how cordially they +were received. +</p> +<p> +The wife of the neighbour who invited them, took the wife and sister of +the said gentleman for a walk after supper, talking of various matters, +and they came to the hut of the shepherd, which was near a large and +fine park in which the sheep were kept, and found there the chief +shepherd looking after his flock. And—as women will—they enquired +about many and various things, and amongst others they asked if he was +not cold in his cottage? He replied he was not, and that he was more +comfortable in his hut than they were in their glazed, matted, and +well-floored chambers. +</p> +<p> +They talked also of other matters, and some of their phrases had a +bawdy meaning; and the worthy shepherd, who was neither a fool nor a +blockhead, swore to them that he was prepared to undertake to do the job +eight or nine times in one night. +</p> +<p> +The sister of our gentleman cast amorous glances at the shepherd when +she heard this, and did not fail to tell him, when she found a fitting +opportunity, that he had made an impression on her, and that he was +to come to see her at her brother's house, and that she would make him +welcome. +</p> +<p> +The shepherd, who saw she was a pretty girl, was not a little pleased at +this news, and promised to come and see her. And, in short, he did as he +had promised, and at the hour arranged between his lady-love and him was +in front of her window; and though it was a high and dangerous ascent, +nevertheless he accomplished it by means of a cord which she let down, +and a vine there was there, and was soon in her chamber, where, it need +not be said, he was heartily welcomed. +</p> +<p> +He showed that it was no empty boast he had made, for before daylight, +the stag had eight horns, at which the lady was greatly pleased. And +you must know that before the shepherd could come to the lady, he had +to walk two leagues, and swim the broad river, Rhone, which was close to +the house where his mistress lived; and when day came he had to recross +the Rhone, and return to his sheepfold; and he continued to do this for +a long time without being discovered. +</p> +<p> +During this time many gentlemen of that country demanded the hand of +this damsel turned shepherdess, in marriage, but not one of them was to +her taste; at which her brother was not best pleased, and said so many +times, but she was always well provided with answers and excuses. +She informed her lover, the shepherd, of all this, and one night she +promised him that, if he wished, she would never have any other husband +but him. He replied that he desired nothing better; +</p> +<p> +"But it can never be," he said; "on account of your brother and your +other friends." +</p> +<p> +"Do not trouble yourself about that," she said, "let me manage as I like +and it will be all right." +</p> +<p> +So they plighted troth to one another. But soon after that there came a +gentleman to make a last request for the hand of the lady shepherdess, +and who said he would marry her if she were only dressed in the manner +becoming her station without any other portion. Her brother would have +willingly listened to this demand, and tried to persuade his sister to +give her consent, pointing out to her what her duty was in such a case; +but he could not succeed, at which he was much displeased. +</p> +<p> +When she saw that he was angry with her, she took him on one side, and +said; +</p> +<p> +"Brother, you have long lectured me, and pressed me to marry such and +such a man, and I would never consent. Now I beg of you not to be angry +with or bear any resentment towards me, and I will tell you what has +prevented my acceding to any of these requests, if you will promise not +to be still more enraged against me." +</p> +<p> +Her brother willingly promised. When she had obtained this assurance, +she told him that she was as good as married already, and that as long +as she lived she would never have for husband any other man than the one +she would show him that night if he wished. +</p> +<p> +"I should much like to see him," replied her brother, "but who is he?" +</p> +<p> +"You will see in good time," she said. +</p> +<p> +At the accustomed hour the shepherd came, and climbed to the lady's +chamber, God knows how wet from having crossed the river. The brother +looked at him, and saw it was his neighbour's shepherd, and was in no +small degree astonished; and still more so was the shepherd, who would +have fled when he saw him. +</p> +<p> +"Stay! Stay!" said the gentleman, "there is nothing to fear." +</p> +<p> +"Is this," he added turning to his sister, "the man of whom you spoke to +me?" +</p> +<p> +"Yes, truly, brother," said she. +</p> +<p> +"Then make a good fire for him to warm himself," said the gentleman, +"for he much needs it. And do you regard him as your husband; and truly +you are not wrong to like him, for he has run great dangers for love of +you. And since the matter has gone so far, and you have the courage to +take him for a husband, never mind me, and cursed be he who does not +hurry on the marriage." +</p> +<p> +"Amen!" she said. "It shall be to-morrow, if you wish." +</p> +<p> +"I do wish," he replied; then turning to the shepherd. +</p> +<p> +"What do you say?" +</p> +<p> +"Whatever you wish." +</p> +<p> +"There is nothing else for it then," said the gentleman. "You are, and +shall be, my brother-in-law. Not so long ago our family was not noble; +so I may well have a shepherd for a brother-in-law." +</p> +<p> +To cut the story short, the gentleman consented to the marriage of his +sister to the shepherd; and it was performed, and they both continued +to live in his house, though it was much talked about throughout the +country. +</p> +<p> +And when he was in some place where the affair was being talked +about, and surprise was expressed that he had not killed or beaten the +shepherd, the gentleman replied that he would never harm one whom his +sister loved; and that he would rather have for a brother-in-law, a +shepherd his sister liked, than some great man she did not like. +</p> +<p> +All this was said as a joke, and sportingly; for he was, and has always +been, a courteous and pleasant gentleman, and liked not to hear +his sister's name bandied about, even amongst his friends and boon +companions. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0058"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="58pg (137K)" src="images/58pg.jpg" height="943" width="594" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN. +</h2> +<h3> + By Monseigneur. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of two comrades who wished to make their mistresses better inclined +towards them, and so indulged in debauchery, and said, that as after +that their mistresses still scorned them, that they too must have played +at the same game—as you will hear.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +I knew, in the time of my green and virtuous youth, two gentlemen, good +comrades, accomplished, and provided with every quality to be praised +in a virtuous gentleman. They were friends, and were alike each other +in every respect, not only bodily, but as regarded their clothes, their +servants, and their horses. +</p> +<p> +It happened that they fell in love with two fair young damsels of good +family and gracious, and they did for these fair ladies' sake a hundred +thousand little courtesies. Their vows were listened to—but nothing +more. Perhaps the damsels had lovers already, or did not wish to have +a love affair on their hands, for in truth the youths were both good +fellows, such as many a noble lady would have liked for a lover. +</p> +<p> +Be that as it may, they could not win their ladies' love, which caused +them to pass many nights in God knows what sorrow, now cursing fortune, +now love, and most often their mistresses for being so unkind. Whilst +they were suffering this rage and grief, one of them said one day to his +friend, +</p> +<p> +"We can see with half an eye that our mistresses do not care for us, +and yet we more madly desire them than ever, and the more scorn and +harshness they show us the more we desire to please, serve, and obey +them! Upon my word this seems to me the height of folly. Let us, I pray +you, think no more of them than they do of us, and you will see that +when they know that, it will be their turn to seek and importune us." +</p> +<p> +"Ah!" said the other, "very good advice, no doubt, but how can it be +carried out?" +</p> +<p> +"I have found the means," said the first. "I have always heard it said, +and Ovid puts it in his book, The Remedy of Love, that to do—you know +what—much and often, makes you forget or think little of the person +with whom you are in love. I will tell you what we will do. We will take +home with us a couple of nice young 'cousins' (*), and we will sleep +with them, and commit every folly with them that our strength will +permit, and then we will go and see our ladies, and the devil is in it +if they do not then care for us." +</p> +<pre> + (*) Prostitutes. The word is doubtless derived from + <i>coussin</i>. +</pre> +<p> +The other agreed, and the proposal was carried out, and each took home a +nice wench. And after that they went to a great feast where their ladies +were, and they flaunted in front of the damsels, chattering carelessly +here and there, and seeming to say in a hundred thousand ways, "We do +not care for you", believing that, as they had devised, their mistresses +would be displeased, and would try to make their lovers return to their +allegiance. +</p> +<p> +But it happened quite otherwise, for if the youths appeared to think but +little of the ladies, they on the other hand, showed openly that they +cared nothing for the young men, which the latter perceived, and were +much amazed at. The one said to his friend; +</p> +<p> +"Do you know what is the matter? Morbleu! our mistresses have done +exactly what we have done. Do you not see how scornful they are? They +carry themselves exactly as we do—and, believe me, for the very same +reason. They have each chosen a paramour and indulged in folly to the +utmost. Devil take the bitches! Let us leave them alone!" +</p> +<p> +"By my oath!" replied the other, "I believe it is as you say. I never +expected to find them like this." +</p> +<p> +So the two friends thought that their mistresses had done the same as +they had done themselves, because the damsels took no more heed of them +than they did of the damsels—which may not have been true, but was not +difficult to believe. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0059"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="59pg (134K)" src="images/59pg.jpg" height="942" width="597" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER. <a href="#note-59" name="noteref-59">59</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Poncelet. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of a lord who pretended to be sick in order that he might lie with the +servant maid, with whom his wife found him.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +In the town of St. Omer there lived formerly a a good fellow, sergeant +to the king, who was married to a good and chaste woman, who had, by a +former marriage, a son grown up and married. +</p> +<p> +This good fellow, notwithstanding that he had a virtuous and prudent +wife, made love day and night with whomsoever he had a chance, and as +often as possible. And as in winter it was often inconvenient to go far +to seek for his love affairs, he bethought himself and reflected that he +need not leave home for a mistress, for that his wife's maid was a very +pretty, young, and well-mannered girl, and he might manage to become her +lover. +</p> +<p> +In short, by gifts and promises, he obtained the girl's permission to +do whatever he wished, but there were difficulties in the way, for his +wife, knowing her husband's character, always kept an eye upon him. +</p> +<p> +Nevertheless, Cupid, who always comes to the help of his true followers, +inspired his good and loyal worshipper with an idea by which he could +accomplish his ends; for he pretended to be very sick of a chill, and +said to his wife; +</p> +<p> +"My dear helpmate, come here! I am as ill as I can be; I must go to bed, +and I beg of you to make all the servants go to bed too, in order that +there may be no noise or disturbance, and then come to our chamber." +</p> +<p> +The worthy woman, who was much vexed at her husband's illness, did as +she was ordered, and took fair sheets and warmed them, and put them over +her husband after he was in bed. And when he had been well warmed for a +long time, he said. +</p> +<p> +"My dear, that will suffice. I am well enough now, thanks be to God and +to you for the trouble you have taken; and I beg of you to come and lie +down by my side." +</p> +<p> +She only desired her husband's health and repose, and did as she +was desired, and went to sleep as quickly as possible. As soon as he +perceived she was asleep, he slipped quietly out of bed, and went to the +servant's bed, where he was well received, and broke so many lances that +he was tired and worn out, and dropped off to sleep in her fair arms. +</p> +<p> +It often happens that when we go to bed vexed or melancholy we are +easily awakened,—indeed that may be the cause of our waking, and so it +happened to the wife. And as she took great care of her husband, she put +out her hand to touch him, and discovered that he was not in the bed; +and on feeling the pillow and the place where he had been lying, she +found that they were cold, and that he had been out of bed a long time. +</p> +<p> +Then, in despair, she jumped out of bed and put on a chemise and a +petticoat, and said to herself; +</p> +<p> +"Idle and worthless wretch that you are, you have much to reproach +yourself with, for by your neglect you have let your husband die. Alas! +why did I come to bed to-night and fall asleep; O Virgin Mary! I pray +that nothing has happened to him through my fault, or I shall deem +myself guilty of his death." +</p> +<p> +After these regrets and lamentations, she went off to seek a light, and +in order that the servant-maid might help her to find her lost husband, +she went to her room to arouse her, and there found the happy pair, +asleep locked in each other's arms, and it seemed that they must have +worked well that night, for they were not awakened by her coming into +the room or by the light she carried. +</p> +<p> +She was glad that her husband was not as ill as she had feared or +expected; and went to seek her children and all the servants of the +household, and brought them to see the couple, and asked them in a +low voice, who that was in the maid's bed, sleeping with her? And the +children replied that it was their father, and the servants that it was +their master. Then she led them out, and made them go to bed again, for +it was too early to get up, and she also went back to bed, but did not +sleep again till it was time to rise. +</p> +<p> +Soon after she had left the lovers, they woke up, and took leave of each +other amorously. The master returned to bed, to his wife's side, without +saying a word, nor did she, but pretended to be asleep, at which he +was very glad, thinking that she knew nothing of his adventure, for he +greatly feared her, both for his peace and that of the girl. So he slept +soundly, and his wife, as soon as it was time to get up, rose, and to +please her husband, and give him something comforting after the laxative +medicine that he had taken that night, woke up her servants, and called +her maid, and told her to kill the two fattest capons in the fowl-house, +and prepare them nicely, and then go to the butcher and buy the best bit +of beef she could procure, and put it in water to make a good soup, as +she well knew how, for she was a capital cook. +</p> +<p> +The girl, who heartily desired to please her mistress and her master, +the one for love and the other from fear, said that she would willingly +do all that was commanded. +</p> +<p> +Then the wife went to Mass, and on her return passed by the house of +her son, of whom I have spoken, and asked him to come and dine with +her husband, and to bring with him three or four good fellows whom she +named, and whom she and her husband wished invited. +</p> +<p> +Then she returned home to see after the dinner, and found that her +husband had gone to church. Meanwhile, her son had gone round to invite +the guests his mother had named, and who were the greatest jokers in St. +Omer. +</p> +<p> +The good man came back from Mass, and embraced his wife, and she did the +same to him, and, in order that he should not suspect anything, she said +that she rejoiced at his recovery, for which he thanked her, and said; +</p> +<p> +"Indeed I am in fairly good health, my dear, after last night, and I +think I have a very good appetite, so we will have dinner at once if you +like." +</p> +<p> +She replied, "I am very glad to hear, it but you must wait a little till +the dinner is ready; and until such and such people, whom I have invited +to dine with you, have arrived." +</p> +<p> +"Invited!" said he, "and for what reason? I do not care about them and +would rather they stayed where they are; for they jest at everything, +and if they know I have been ill, they will tease me about it. At least, +my dear, let me beg of you to say nothing about it. And there is another +thing—what will they eat?" +</p> +<p> +She said he need not trouble about that; they would have enough to eat, +for she had dressed the two best capons, as well as a fine piece of +beef, and all in his honour, at which he was very glad, and said it was +well done. +</p> +<p> +Soon after came those who had been invited, and the woman's son. +And when all was ready, they sat at the table and made good cheer, +especially the host, and they drank often one to another. +</p> +<p> +The host said to his stepson; +</p> +<p> +"John, my friend, drink with your mother, and enjoy yourself." +</p> +<p> +And he replied that he would willingly do so; and when he drank to his +mother, the maid, who was waiting at table came into the room. +</p> +<p> +Then the wife called her, and said, +</p> +<p> +"Come here, my dear friend and companion! drink to me, and I will pledge +thee." +</p> +<p> +"Friend and companion!" said the host. "What is the meaning of all this +affection? What mischief is brewing now? This is something new!" +</p> +<p> +"Indeed, she is truly my honest and trusted companion! Why do you wonder +at that?" +</p> +<p> +"Oh, the devil, Joan! take care what you say! Any one would think there +was something between her and me." +</p> +<p> +"And why should they not?" she said. "Did I not find you last night +lying in her bed, and sleeping in her arms?" +</p> +<p> +"In her bed?" he said. +</p> +<p> +"Truly, yes," she replied. +</p> +<p> +"On my honour, gentlemen, it is not true, and she only says so to spite +me, and bring shame on the poor girl, for she never saw me there." +</p> +<p> +"The devil I did not!" she replied. "You shall hear the statement again +from those of your own household." +</p> +<p> +With that she called the children, and the servants who were standing +there, and asked them if they had not seen their father lying with the +maid, and they answered, yes. +</p> +<p> +"You lie, you naughty boys," replied their father. "Your mother told you +to say it." +</p> +<p> +"Begging your pardon, father, we saw you there; and so did the +servants." +</p> +<p> +"Is that so?" asked the lady of the servants. +</p> +<p> +"That is quite true," they replied. +</p> +<p> +Then all who were present laughed loudly, and teased him terribly, for +his wife related all about his pretended illness, and what he had done, +and how she had prepared the dinner and invited his friends in order to +make the story known, at which he was so ashamed that he hardly dared +hold up his head, and did not know what to reply except to say, +</p> +<p> +"Go on! you are all against me, so I will hold my tongue and let you +have your own way, for I can't contend against the lot of you." +</p> +<p> +Afterwards he ordered the table to be removed, and when grace was said, +he called his stepson and whispered to him; +</p> +<p> +"John, my friend, although the others accuse me, I know that you believe +me. See how much is owing to that poor girl, and pay her so liberally +that she will have no cause to complain, and send her away; for I know +well that your mother will never permit her to stay in the house." +</p> +<p> +The stepson went and did as he was ordered, then he returned to the +friends whom he had brought, whom he found talking to his mother, then +they thanked her for their entertainment, and took leave and went. +</p> +<p> +The husband and wife remained at home, and it is to be supposed that he +did not hear the last of it for some time. For the poor husband did +not drain his cup of bitterness at the dinner-table, but found that the +proverb about dogs, hawks, war, and love, which says, "Every pleasure +has a thousand sorrows," is true. But none should run the risk if +they are not prepared to pay the penalty. Thus did it happen that the +adventure of this worthy fellow ended in the manner related. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="image-0036"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="images/60.jpg" height="873" width="602" +alt="60.jpg" title="Three Very Minor Brothers. +"> +</center> + +<a name="2H_4_0060"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br /> +<br /> +<center> +<img alt="60pg (137K)" src="images/60pg.jpg" height="936" width="592" /> +</center> +<br /> +<br /> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + STORY THE SIXTIETH — THREE VERY MINOR BROTHERS. <a href="#note-60" name="noteref-60">60</a> +</h2> +<h3> + By Poncelet. +</h3> +<blockquote><p> +<i>Of three women of Malines, who were acquainted with three cordeliers, +and had their heads shaved, and donned the gown that they might not be +recognised, and how it was made known.</i> +</p></blockquote> +<p> +Formerly there were in the town of Malines three damsels, the wives of +three burghers of the town,—rich, powerful, and of good position, who +were in love with three Minor Friars; and to more secretly and covertly +manage their amours under the cloak of religion, they rose every day an +hour or two before dawn, and when it appeared a fit time to go and see +their lovers, they told their husbands they were going to matins to the +first Mass. +</p> +<p> +Owing to the great pleasure that they took in these exercises and the +monks also, it often happened that it was broad daylight, and they +could not leave the convent without being perceived by the other monks. +Therefore, fearing the great perils and inconveniences which might +arise, they arranged between them that each should wear a monk's gown, +and have a tonsure made on her head, as though they belonged to the +convent. So finally one day that they were in the convent, and whilst +their husbands suspected nothing of it, a barber,—that is to say a +monk belonging to the convent—was sent for secretly to the cells of the +three brothers, and he cut a tonsure on the head of each. +</p> +<p> +And when the time came to leave, they put on the friars' gowns with +which they were provided, and in that state returned to their respective +homes, and undressed, and left their disguise with certain discreet +matrons, and then returned to their husbands; and this continued for a +long while, without any person being aware of it. +</p> +<p> +But since it would have been a great pity that such excessive devotion +should not be known, fortune so willed that as on a certain day one +of these ladies was on her road to the accustomed haunt, her trick was +discovered, and she was caught in her disguise by her husband, who had +followed her, and who said: +</p> +<p> +"Good brother, I am glad to have met you! I would beg of you to return +to my house, for I have many things to say to you," and with that he +took her back, at which she hardly felt joyful. +</p> +<p> +When they were in the house, the husband said, in a joking manner; +</p> +<p> +"My dear helpmate, can you swear on your honour that it is true piety, +which in the middle of winter, causes you to don the habit of St. +Francis, and have your head shaved like the good monks? Tell me the name +of your confessor, or by St. Francis you shall suffer for it,"—and he +pretended to draw his dagger. +</p> +<p> +The poor woman threw herself on her knees, and cried; +</p> +<p> +"Have mercy upon me, husband! for I have been led astray by bad +companions! I know that you could kill me if you liked, and that I have +not behaved as I should, but I am not the only one the monks have led +astray, and, if you promise that you will do nothing to me, I will tell +you all." +</p> +<p> +To this her husband agreed; and then she told him how she often went to +the monastery with two of her cronies who were in love with two of the +monks, and they often breakfasted together in the monks' cells. "A third +monk was in love with me," she continued, "and made such humble and +impassioned requests to me that I could not excuse myself, and by the +instigation and example of my companions, I did as they did, they all +saying that we should have a good time together, and no one would know +about it." +</p> +<p> +Then the husband demanded the names of her female friends, and she told +him. He was acquainted with their husbands, and they had often eaten and +drunk together. Finally, he asked who was the barber, and the names of +the three monks. +</p> +<p> +The good husband, after considering all things, and moved by the piteous +groans and sad regrets of his wife, said; +</p> +<p> +"Take care that you tell no one that you have spoken to me on this +matter, and I promise you that I will do you no harm." +</p> +<p> +She promised that she would do whatever he wished. With that he went +away at once, and invited to dinner the two husbands and their wives, +the three Cordeliers, and the barber, and they all promised to come. +</p> +<p> +The next day they all came, and sat at table, and enjoyed themselves +without expecting any bad news. After the table was removed, they had +many joyous jests and devices to discover who should pay scot for all, +and as they could not agree, the host said; +</p> +<p> +"Since we cannot agree as to who is to pay the reckoning, I will tell +you what we will do. The one who has the baldest crown to his head shall +pay—of course excluding these good monks, who pay nothing—at present." +</p> +<p> +To which they all agreed, and were content that it should be thus, and +that the barber should be the judge. And when all the men had shown +their heads, the host said that they ought to look at their wives' +heads. +</p> +<p> +It need not be asked if there were not some there present who felt their +hearts sink within them. Without an instant's delay, the host uncovered +his wife's head, and when he saw the tonsure he pretended to admire it +greatly, pretending that he knew nothing about it, and said, +</p> +<p> +"We must see if the others are the same." +</p> +<p> +Then their husbands made them remove their head-dresses, and they were +found to be tonsured like the first one, at which the men were not best +pleased, notwithstanding that they laughed loudly, and declared that the +question had been settled, and that it was for their wives to pay the +reckoning. +</p> +<p> +But they wished to know how these tonsures came there, and the host, +rejoicing to be able to divulge such a secret, related the whole affair, +on condition that they would pardon their wives this time, after they +had been witnesses of the penance the good monks were to undergo in +their presence,—and to this both husbands agreed. +</p> +<p> +Then the host caused four or five sturdy varlets to come out of a +chamber near by, and they, knowing what they had to do, seized the +worthy monks and gave them as many blows as they could find room for +on their shoulders, and then turned them out of the house. The others +remained for a certain space, and it is to be supposed that a good deal +of conversation passed between them, but as it would take too long to +recount, I pass it over here, for the sake of brevity. +</p> + + + + + + + + + +<a name="2H_NOTE"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + NOTES. +</h2> + + + + +<a name="note-42"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>42</u> (<a href="#noteref-42">return</a>)<br> +[ Hervé Meriadech, a Breton squire and gallant soldier, who +performed several gallant feats of arms. Louis XI named him Governor of +Tournay in 1461.] +</p> +<a name="note-46"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>46</u> (<a href="#noteref-46">return</a>)<br> +[ Much resembles No. XII. The author is believed to be +Chrestien de Dygoigne, whose name appears at the head of story No. 68.] +</p> +<a name="note-47"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>47</u> (<a href="#noteref-47">return</a>)<br> +[ This is believed to be a true story. The person who got +rid of his wife in this cunning way was Caffrey Carles, President of the +Parliament of Grenoble. He was skilled in Latin and "the humanities"—in +the plural only it would appear—and was chosen by Anne of Brittany, the +wife of Louis XII, to teach her daughter, Renée, afterwards Duchess of +Perrara. +</p> +<p> +The story is so dramatic that it has been often imitated.] +</p> +<a name="note-50"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>50</u> (<a href="#noteref-50">return</a>)<br> +[ By Antoine de la Sale, a short appreciation of whose +literary merits appears in the Introduction. He has appended his own +name to this story; in other cases he appears as "L'Acteur" that is to +say the "Editor." (See No. 51). The story is taken from Sacchetti +or Poggio. The idea has suggested itself to many writers, including +Lawrence Sterne, in Tristram Shandy.] +</p> +<a name="note-52"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>52</u> (<a href="#noteref-52">return</a>)<br> +[ Taken from Sacchetti.] +</p> +<a name="note-59"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>59</u> (<a href="#noteref-59">return</a>)<br> +[ by Poncelet, or Pourcelet, one of the Council of the Duke +of Burgundy.] +</p> +<a name="note-60"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<u>60</u> (<a href="#noteref-60">return</a>)<br> +[ by Poncelet, or Pourcelet, one of the Council of the Duke +of Burgundy. No. 60 is from an old fabliau, (<i>Frère Denise, cordelier</i>) +and is to be found in the <i>Heptameron</i>, the <i>Apologie pour Hérodote</i> +etc.] +</p> + + + +</body> +</html> + + |