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diff --git a/18575-h/18575-h.htm b/18575-h/18575-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..022cf0b --- /dev/null +++ b/18575-h/18575-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,22733 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 2em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 20%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 25%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + pre { font-family: Times; font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h2> + ONE HUNDRED MERRIE AND DELIGHTSOME STORIES + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's One Hundred Merrie And Delightsome Stories, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: One Hundred Merrie And Delightsome Stories + Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles + +Author: Various + +Editor: Antoine de la Salle + +Illustrator: Léon Lebèque + +Translator: Robert B. Douglas + +Release Date: June 13, 2006 [EBook #18575] +Last Updated: August 9, 2016 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <div class="mynote"> + <i><a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/18575/old/orig18575-h/main.htm"> + LINK TO THE ORIGINAL HTML FILE: This Ebook Has Been Reformatted For Better + Appearance In Mobile Viewers Such As Kindles And Others. The Original + Format, Which The Editor Believes Has A More Attractive Appearance For + Laptops And Other Computers, May Be Viewed By Clicking On This Box.</a></i> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <a href="#linklinkcontents"><big><b>Table of Contents</b></big></a> + <br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkillustrations"><big><b>List of Illustrations</b></big></a> + <br /> <a name="linklinkimage-0001" id="linklinkimage-0001"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="100%" alt="Cover.jpg" title="Cover " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0002" id="linklinkimage-0002"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/spines.jpg" width="100%" alt="Spines.jpg" title="Spines " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0003" id="linklinkimage-0003"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/titlepage.jpg" width="100%" alt="Titlepage.jpg" + title="Titlepage " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0001" id="linklink2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ONE HUNDRED MERRIE AND DELIGHTSOME STORIES + </h2> + <h4> + Right Pleasaunte To Relate In All Goodly Companie By Way Of Joyance And + Jollity + </h4> + <h1> + <i>LES CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES</i> + </h1> + <h4> + Now First Done Into The English Tongue By Robert B. Douglas <br /> <br /> + Various Authors + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Edited by Antoine de la Salle + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + Illustrated by Léon Lebèque + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h4> + Paris <br /> <br /> Charles Carrington <br /> <br /> 13 Faubourg Montmartre + <br /> <br /> 1899 + </h4> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkcontents" id="linklinkcontents"></a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <p> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0003"> ONE HUNDRED MERRIE AND DELIGHTSOME STORIES + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_TOC"> DETAILED CONTENTS </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0003"> STORY THE FIRST —THE REVERSE OF THE + MEDAL. [1] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0004"> STORY THE SECOND + — THE MONK-DOCTOR. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0005"> + STORY THE THIRD — THE SEARCH FOR THE RING. [3] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0006"> STORY THE FOURTH — THE ARMED CUCKOLD. [4] + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0007"> STORY THE FIFTH — THE + DUEL WITH THE BUCKLE-STRAP. [5] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0008"> + STORY THE SIXTH — THE DRUNKARD IN PARADISE. [6] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0009"> STORY THE SEVENTH — THE WAGGONER IN THE + BEAR. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0010"> STORY THE EIGHTH + — TIT FOR TAT. [8] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0011"> + STORY THE NINTH — THE HUSBAND PANDAR TO HIS OWN WIFE. [9] </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0012"> STORY THE TENTH — THE EEL PASTIES. + [10] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0013"> STORY THE ELEVENTH + — A SACRIFICE TO THE DEVIL. [11] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0014"> STORY THE TWELFTH — THE CALF. [12] </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0015"> STORY THE THIRTEENTH — THE CASTRATED + CLERK. [13] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0016"> STORY THE + FOURTEENTH — THE POPE-MAKER, OR THE HOLY MAN. [14] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0017"> STORY THE FIFTEENTH — THE CLEVER NUN. + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0018"> STORY THE SIXTEENTH — + ON THE BLIND SIDE. [16] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0019"> STORY + THE SEVENTEENTH — THE LAWYER AND THE BOLTING-MILL. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0020"> STORY THE EIGHTEENTH — FROM BELLY TO + BACK. [18] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkstory19"> STORY THE NINETEENTH + — THE CHILD OF THE SNOW </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0021"> + STORY THE TWENTIETH — THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0022"> STORY THE TWENTY-FIRST — THE ABBESS CURED + [21] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0023"> STORY THE TWENTY-SECOND + — THE CHILD WITH TWO FATHERS. [22] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0024"> STORY THE TWENTY-THIRD — THE LAWYER’S + WIFE WHO PASSED THE LINE. [23] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0025"> + STORY THE TWENTY-FOURTH — HALF-BOOTED. [24] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0026"> STORY THE TWENTY-FIFTH — FORCED + WILLINGLY. [25] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0027"> STORY THE + TWENTY-SIXTH — THE DAMSEL KNIGHT. [26] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0028"> STORY THE TWENTY-SEVENTH — THE HUSBAND IN + THE CLOTHES-CHEST. [27] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0029"> STORY + THE TWENTY-EIGHTH — THE INCAPABLE LOVER. [28] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0030"> STORY THE TWENTY-NINTH — THE COW AND THE + CALF. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkstory30"> STORY THE THIRTIETH + — THE THREE CORDELIERS </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0031"> + STORY THE THIRTY-FIRST — TWO LOVERS FOR ONE LADY. [31] </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0032"> STORY THE THIRTY-SECOND — THE WOMEN + WHO PAID TITHE. [32] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0033"> STORY + THE THIRTY-THIRD — THE LADY WHO LOST HER HAIR. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0034"> STORY THE THIRTY-FOURTH — THE MAN ABOVE + AND THE MAN BELOW. [34] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0035"> STORY + THE THIRTY-FIFTH — THE EXCHANGE. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0036"> STORY THE THIRTY-SIXTH — AT WORK. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0037"> STORY THE THIRTY-SEVENTH — THE USE OF + DIRTY WATER. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0038"> STORY THE + THIRTY-EIGHTH — A ROD FOR ANOTHER’S BACK. [38] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0039"> STORY THE THIRTY-NINTH — BOTH WELL + SERVED. [39] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0040"> STORY THE + FORTIETH — THE BUTCHER’S WIFE WHO PLAYED THE GHOST IN THE </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0041"> STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS. + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0042"> STORY THE FORTY-SECOND + — THE MARRIED PRIEST. [42] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0043"> STORY THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN + HORNS. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0044"> STORY THE FORTY-FOURTH + — THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0045"> STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH — THE SCOTSMAN + TURNED WASHERWOMAN </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0046"> STORY THE + FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID FOR THE PEARS. [46] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0047"> STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH — TWO MULES + DROWNED TOGETHER. [47] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0048"> STORY + THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0049"> STORY THE FORTY-NINTH — THE SCARLET + BACKSIDE. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0050"> STORY THE FIFTIETH + — TIT FOR TAT. [50] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0051"> + STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL FATHERS. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0052"> STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND — THE THREE + REMINDERS. [52] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0053"> STORY THE + FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0054"> STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH — THE RIGHT + MOMENT. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0055"> STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH + — A CURE FOR THE PLAGUE. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0056"> + STORY THE FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, THE PRIEST, THE SERVANT, AND THE + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0057"> STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH + — THE OBLIGING BROTHER. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0058"> + STORY THE FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0059"> STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER. + [59] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0060"> STORY THE SIXTIETH + — THREE VERY MINOR BROTHERS. [60] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0061"> STORY THE SIXTY-FIRST — CUCKOLDED—AND + DUPED. [61] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0062"> STORY THE + SIXTY-SECOND — THE LOST RING. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0063"> STORY THE SIXTY-THIRD — MONTBLERU; OR THE + THIEF. [63] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0064"> STORY THE + SIXTY-FOURTH — THE OVER-CUNNING CURÉ. [64] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0065"> STORY THE SIXTY-FIFTH — INDISCRETION + REPROVED, BUT NOT PUNISHED. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0066"> + STORY THE SIXTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN AT THE BATH. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0067"> STORY THE SIXTY-SEVENTH — THE WOMAN WITH + THREE HUSBANDS. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0068"> STORY THE + SIXTY-EIGHTH — THE JADE DESPOILED. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0069"> STORY THE SIXTY-NINTH — THE VIRTUOUS LADY + WITH TWO HUSBANDS. [69] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0070"> STORY + THE SEVENTIETH — THE DEVIL’S HORN. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0071"> STORY THE SEVENTY-FIRST — THE CONSIDERATE + CUCKOLD </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0072"> STORY THE + SEVENTY-SECOND — NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0073"> STORY THE SEVENTY-THIRD — THE BIRD IN + THE CAGE. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0074"> STORY THE + SEVENTY-FOURTH — THE OBSEQUIOUS PRIEST. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0075"> STORY THE SEVENTY-FIFTH — THE BAGPIPE. + [75] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0076"> STORY THE SEVENTY-SIXTH + — CAUGHT IN THE ACT. [76] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0077"> + STORY THE SEVENTY-SEVENTH — THE SLEEVELESS ROBE. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0078"> STORY THE SEVENTY-EIGHTH — THE HUSBAND + TURNED CONFESSOR. [78] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0079"> STORY + THE SEVENTY-NINTH — THE LOST ASS FOUND. [79] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0080"> STORY THE EIGHTIETH — GOOD MEASURE! [80] + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0081"> STORY THE EIGHTY-FIRST + — BETWEEN TWO STOOLS. [81] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0082"> STORY THE EIGHTY-SECOND — BEYOND THE + MARK. [82] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0083"> STORY THE + EIGHTY-THIRD — THE GLUTTONOUS MONK. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0084"> STORY THE EIGHTY-FOURTH — THE DEVIL’S + SHARE. [84] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0085"> STORY THE + EIGHTY-FIFTH — NAILED! [85] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0086"> STORY THE EIGHTY-SIXTH — FOOLISH FEAR. + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0087"> STORY THE EIGHTY-SEVENTH + — WHAT THE EYE DOES NOT SEE. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0088"> STORY THE EIGHTY-EIGHTH — A HUSBAND IN + HIDING. [88] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0089"> STORY THE + EIGHTY-NINTH — THE FAULT OF THE ALMANAC. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0090"> STORY THE NINETIETH — A GOOD REMEDY. [90] + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0091"> STORY THE NINETY-FIRST + — THE OBEDIENT WIFE. [91] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0092"> + STORY THE NINETY-SECOND — WOMEN’S QUARRELS. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0093"> STORY THE NINETY-THIRD — HOW A GOOD WIFE + WENT ON A PILGRIMAGE. [93] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0094"> + STORY THE NINETY-FOURTH — DIFFICULT TO PLEASE. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0095"> STORY THE NINETY-FIFTH — THE SORE FINGER + CURED. [95] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0096"> STORY THE + NINETY-SIXTH — A GOOD DOG. [96] </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0097"> STORY THE NINETY-SEVENTH — BIDS AND + BIDDINGS. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0098"> STORY THE + NINETY-EIGHTH — THE UNFORTUNATE LOVERS. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0099"> STORY THE NINETY-NINTH — THE + METAMORPHOSIS. [99] </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0100"> STORY THE + HUNDREDTH AND LAST — THE CHASTE LOVER. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_NOTE"> NOTES. </a><br /><br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkillustrations" id="linklinkillustrations"></a> <br /> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + List of Illustrations + </h2> + <p> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0001"> Cover.jpg Cover </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0002"> Spines.jpg Spines </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0003"> Titlepage.jpg Titlepage </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0004"> Contents.jpg Contents </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0005"> Intro.jpg Introduction </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0006"> 01.jpg Story the First — The Reverse of + The Medal. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0007"> 03.jpg Story the + Third — The Search for The Ring. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0008"> 04.jpg Story the Fourth — The Armed + Cuckold. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0009"> 07.jpg The Waggoner + in The Bear. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0010"> 09.jpg The + Husband Pandar to his Own Wife </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0011"> + 12.jpg Story The Twelfth — The Calf. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0012"> 13.jpg the Castrated Clerk. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0013"> 14.jpg The Pope-maker, Or The Holy Man. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0014"> 16.jpg On the Blind Side. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0015"> 17.jpg The Lawyer and The Bolting-mill. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0016"> 18.jpg From Belly to Back. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0017"> 20.jpg The Husband As Doctor. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0018"> 23.jpg The Lawyer’s Wife Who Passed The + Line. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0019"> 24.jpg Half-booted + </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0020"> 27.jpg The Husband in The + Clothes-chest. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0021"> 28.jpg The + Incapable Lover. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0022"> 32.jpg The + Women Who Paid Tithe. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0023"> 34.jpg + The Man Above and The Man Below. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0024"> 37.jpg The Use of Dirty Water. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0025"> 38.jpg A Rod for Another’s Back. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0026"> 39.jpg Both Well Served. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0027"> 41.jpg Love in Arms. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0028"> 43.jpg A Bargain in Horns. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0029"> 44.jpg The Match-making Priest. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0030"> 46.jpg How the Nun Paid for The Pears. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0031"> 49.jpg The Scarlet Backside. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0032"> 52.jpg The Three Reminders. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0033"> 54.jpg The Right Moment. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0034"> 55.jpg A Cure for The Plague. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0035"> 57.jpg The Obliging BroTher. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0036"> 60.jpg Three Very Minor BroThers. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0037"> 61.jpg Cuckolded—and Duped. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0038"> 62.jpg The Lost Ring. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0039"> 65.jpg Indiscretion Reproved, But Not + Punished. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0040"> 68.jpg The Jade + Despoiled. </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0041"> 71.jpg The + Considerate Cuckold </a><br /><br /> <a href="#linklinkimage-0042"> 72.jpg + Necessity is The MoTher of Invention. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0043"> 73.jpg The Bird in The Cage. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0044"> 76.jpg Caught in The Act. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0045"> 78.jpg The Husband Turned Confessor. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0046"> 80.jpg Good Measure! </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0047"> 83.jpg The Gluttonous Monk. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0048"> 84.jpg The Devil’s Share. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0049"> 86.jpg Foolish Fear. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0050"> 88.jpg A Husband in Hiding. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0051"> 90.jpg A Good Remedy. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0052"> 92.jpg Women’s Quarrels. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0053"> 95.jpg The Sore Finger Cured. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#linklinkimage-0054"> 97.jpg Bids and Biddings. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0055"> 100.jpg The Chaste Lover. </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0056"> Footnotes.jpg Footnotes </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0057"> Endplate.jpg Endplate </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#linklinkimage-0058"> Gilded-top.jpg </a><br /><br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_TOC" id="linklink2H_TOC"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + DETAILED CONTENTS CONTENTS + </h2> + <blockquote> + <p> + <a href="#linklink2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </a><br /> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0003">STORY THE FIRST — THE REVERSE OF THE + MEDAL.</a> <br /> <i>The first story tells of how one found means to + enjoy the wife of his <br /> neighbour, whose husband he had sent away in + order that he might have <br /> her the more easily, and how the husband + returning from his journey, <br /> found his friend bathing with his + wife. And not knowing who she was, he <br /> wished to see her, but was + permitted only to see her back—, and then <br /> thought that she + resembled his wife, but dared not believe it. And <br /> thereupon left + and found his wife at home, she having escaped by a <br /> postern door, + and related to her his suspicions.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0004">STORY + THE SECOND — THE MONK-DOCTOR.</a> <br /> <i>The second story, + related by Duke Philip, is of a young girl who had <br /> piles, who put + out the only eye he had of a Cordelier monk who was <br /> healing her, + and of the lawsuit that followed thereon.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0005">STORY THE THIRD — THE SEARCH FOR THE + RING.</a> <br /> <i>Of the deceit practised by a knight on a miller’s + wife whom he made <br /> believe that her front was loose, and fastened + it many times. And the <br /> miller informed of this, searched for a + diamond that the knight’s lady <br /> had lost, and found it in her body, + as the knight knew afterwards: so he <br /> called the miller + “fisherman”, and the miller called him “fastener”.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0006">STORY THE FOURTH — THE ARMED CUCKOLD.</a> + <br /> <i>The fourth tale is of a Scotch archer who was in love with a + fair <br /> and gentle dame, the wife of a mercer, who, by her husband’s + orders <br /> appointed a day for the said Scot to visit her, who came + and treated her <br /> as he wished, the said mercer being hid by the + side of the bed, where he <br /> could see and hear all.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0007">STORY THE FIFTH — The Duel with the + Buckle-Strap.</a> <br /> <i>The fifth story relates two judgments of Lord + Talbot. How a Frenchman <br /> was taken prisoner (though provided with a + safe-conduct) by an <br /> Englishman, who said that buckle-straps were + implements of war, and who <br /> was made to arm himself with + buckle-straps and nothing else, and meet <br /> the Frenchman, who struck + him with a sword in the presence of Talbot. <br /> The other, story is + about a man who robbed a church, and who was made to <br /> swear that he + would never enter a church again.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0008">STORY + THE SIXTH —THE DRUNKARD IN PARADISE.</a> <br /> <i>The sixth story + is of a drunkard, who would confess to the Prior of the <br /> Augustines + at the Hague, and after his confession said that he was then <br /> in a + holy state and would die; and believed that his head was cut off <br /> + and that he was dead, and was carried away by his companions who said + <br /> they were going to bury him.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0009">STORY + THE SEVENTH — THE WAGGONER IN THE BEAR.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + goldsmith of Paris who made a waggoner sleep with him and his <br /> + wife, and how the waggoner dallied with her from behind, which the <br /> + goldsmith perceived and discovered, and of the words which he spake to + <br /> the waggoner.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0010">STORY THE + EIGHTH — TIT FOR TAT.</a> <br /> <i>Of a youth of Picardy who lived + at Brussels, and made his master’s <br /> daughter pregnant, and for that + cause left and came back to Picardy to <br /> be married. And soon after + his departure the girl’s mother perceived the <br /> condition of her + daughter, and the girl confessed in what state she was; <br /> so her + mother sent her to the Picardian to tell him that he must undo <br /> + that which he had done. And how his new bride refused then to sleep with + <br /> him, and of the story she told him, whereupon he immediately left + her <br /> and returned to his first love, and married her.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0011">STORY THE NINTH — THE HUSBAND PANDAR TO + HIS OWN WIFE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a knight of Burgundy, who was marvellously + amorous of one of his <br /> wife’s waiting women, and thinking to sleep + with her, slept with his <br /> wife who was in the bed of the said + tire-woman. And how he caused, by <br /> his order, another knight, his + neighbour to sleep with the said woman, <br /> believing that it was + really the tirewoman—and afterwards he was not <br /> well pleased, + albeit that the lady knew nothing, and was not aware, I <br /> believe, + that she had had to do with aught other than her own husband.</i> <br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0012">STORY THE TENTH — THE EEL PASTIES.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a knight of England, who, after he was married, wished his + mignon to <br /> procuré him some pretty girls, as he did before; which + the mignon would <br /> not do, saying that one wife sufficed; but the + said knight brought him <br /> back to obedience by causing eel pasties + to be always served to him, <br /> both at dinner and at supper.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0013">STORY THE ELEVENTH — A + SACRIFICE TO THE DEVIL.</a> <br /> <i>Of a jealous rogue, who after many + offerings made to divers saints to <br /> curé him of his jealousy, + offered a candle to the devil who is usually <br /> painted under the + feet of St. Michael; and of the dream that he had and <br /> what + happened to him when he awoke.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0014">STORY + THE TWELFTH — THE CALF.</a> <br /> <i>Of a Dutchman, who at all + hours of the day and night ceased not to <br /> dally with his wife in + love sports; and how it chanced that he laid her <br /> down, as they + went through a wood, under a great tree in which was a <br /> labourer + who had lost his calf. And as he was enumerating the charms of <br /> his + wife, and naming all the pretty things he could see, the labourer <br /> + asked him if he could not see the calf he sought, to which the Dutchman + <br /> replied that he thought he could see a tail.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0015">STORY THE THIRTEENTH — THE CASTRATED + CLERK.</a> <br /> <i>How a lawyer’s clerk in England deceived his master + making him believe <br /> that he had no testicles, by which reason he + had charge over his <br /> mistress both in the country and in the town, + and enjoyed his pleasure.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0016">STORY + THE FOURTEENTH — THE POPE-MAKER, OR THE HOLY MAN.</a> <br /> <i>Of + a hermit who deceived the daughter of a poor woman, making her <br /> + believe that her daughter should have a son by him who should become + <br /> Pope; and how, when she brought forth it was a girl, and thus was + the <br /> trickery of the hermit discovered, and for that cause he had + to flee <br /> from that countery.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0017">STORY + THE FIFTEENTH — THE CLEVER NUN.</a> <br /> <i>Of a nun whom a monk + wished to deceive, and how he offered to shoo her <br /> his weapon that + she might feel it, but brought with him a companion whom <br /> he put + forward in his place, and of the answer she gave him.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0018">STORY THE SIXTEENTH — ON THE BLIND SIDE.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a knight of Picardy who went to Prussia, and, meanwhile his + lady <br /> took a lover, and was in bed with him when her husband + returned; and how <br /> by a cunning trick she got her lover out of the + room without the knight <br /> being aware of it.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0019">STORY THE SEVENTEENTH — THE LAWYER AND + THE BOLTING-MILL.</a> <br /> <i>Of a President of Parliament, who fell in + love with his chamber-maid, <br /> and would have forced her whilst she + was sifting flour, but by fair <br /> speaking she dissuaded him, and + made him shake the sieve whilst she <br /> went unto her mistress, who + came and found her husband thus, as you will <br /> afterwards hear.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0020">STORY THE EIGHTEENTH — FROM + BELLY TO BACK.</a> <br /> <i>Of a gentleman of Burgundy who paid a + chambermaid ten crowns to sleep <br /> with her, but before he left her + room, had his ten crowns back, and <br /> made her carry him on her + shoulders through the host’s chamber. And in <br /> passing by the said + chamber he let wind so loudly that all was known, as <br /> you will hear + in the story which follows.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklinkstory19">STORY + THE NINETEENTH — THE CHILD OF THE SNOW.</a> <br /> <i>Of an English + merchant whose wife had a child in his absence, and told <br /> him that + it was his; and how he cleverly got rid of the child—for his <br /> + wife having asserted that it was born of the snow, he declared it had + <br /> been melted by the sun.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0021">STORY + THE TWENTIETH — THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR.</a> <br /> <i>Of a young + squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never mounted <br /> a + Christian creature,—much to his wife’s regret. And of the method + her <br /> mother found to instruct him, and how the said squire suddenly + wept at <br /> a great feast that was made shortly after he had learned + how to perform <br /> the carnal act—as you will hear more plainly + hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0022">STORY THE TWENTY-FIRST + — THE ABBESS CURED</a> <br /> <i>Of an abbess who was ill for want + of—you know what—but would not have <br /> it done, fearing + to be reproached by her nuns, but they all agreed to do <br /> the same + and most willingly did so.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0023">STORY + THE TWENTY-SECOND — THE CHILD WITH TWO FATHERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + gentleman who seduced a young girl, and then went away and joined <br /> + the army. And before his return she made the acquaintance of another, + <br /> and pretended her child was by him. When the gentleman returned + from the <br /> war he claimed the child, but she begged him to leave it + with her second <br /> lover, promising that the next she had she would + give to him, as is <br /> hereafter recorded.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0024">STORY THE TWENTY-THIRD — THE LAWYER’S + WIFE WHO PASSED THE LINE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a clerk of whom his mistress + was enamoured, and what he promised to <br /> do and did to her if she + crossed a line which the said clerk had made. <br /> Seeing which, her + little son told his father when he returned that he <br /> must not cross + the line; or said he, “the clerk will serve you as he did <br /> mother.”</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0025">STORY THE TWENTY-FOURTH — + HALF-BOOTED.</a> <br /> <i>Of a Count who would ravish by force a fair, + young girl who was one of <br /> his subjects, and how she escaped from + him by means of his leggings, <br /> and how he overlooked her conduct + and helped her to a husband, as is <br /> hereafter related.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0026">STORY THE TWENTY-FIFTH — FORCED + WILLINGLY.</a> <br /> <i>Of a girl who complained of being forced by a + young man, whereas <br /> she herself had helped him to find that which + he sought;—and of the <br /> judgment which was given thereon.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0027">STORY THE TWENTY-SIXTH —THE + DAMSEL KNIGHT.</a> <br /> <i>Of the loves of a young gentleman and a + damsel, who tested the loyalty <br /> of the gentleman in a marvellous + and courteous manner, and slept three <br /> nights with him without his + knowing that it was not a man,—as you will <br /> more fully hear + hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0028">STORY THE + TWENTY-SEVENTH — THE HUSBAND IN THE CLOTHES-CHEST.</a> <br /> <i>Of + a great lord of this kingdom and a married lady, who in order <br /> that + she might be with her lover caused her husband to be shut in a <br /> + clothes-chest by her waiting women, and kept him there all the night, + <br /> whilst she passed the time with her lover; and of the wagers made + <br /> between her and the said husband, as you will find afterwards + recorded.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0029">STORY THE TWENTY-EIGHTH + —THE INCAPABLE LOVER.</a> <br /> <i>Of the meeting assigned to a + great Prince of this kingdom by a damsel <br /> who was chamber-woman to + the Queen; of the little feats of arms of the <br /> said Prince and of + the neat replies made by the said damsel to the Queen <br /> concerning + her greyhound which had been purposely shut out of the room <br /> of the + said Queen, as you shall shortly hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0030">STORY THE TWENTY-NINTH — THE COW AND THE + CALF.</a> <br /> <i>Of a gentleman to whom—the first night that he + was married, and after <br /> he had but tried one stroke—his wife + brought forth a child, and of <br /> the manner in which he took it,—and + of the speech that he made to his <br /> companions when they brought him + the caudle, as you shall shortly hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklinkstory30">STORY THE THIRTIETH — THE THREE + CORDELIERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of three merchants of Savoy who went on a + pilgrimage to St. Anthony <br /> in Vienne, and who were deceived and + cuckolded by three Cordeliers who <br /> slept with their wives. And how + the women thought they had been with <br /> their husbands, and how their + husbands came to know of it, and of the <br /> steps they took, as you + shall shortly hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0031">STORY THE + THIRTY-FIRST — TWO LOVERS FOR ONE LADY.</a> <br /> <i>Of a squire + who found the mule of his companion, and mounted thereon <br /> and it + took him to the house of his master’s mistress; and the squire <br /> + slept there, where his friend found him; also of the words which passed + <br /> between them—as is more clearly set out below.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0032">STORY THE THIRTY-SECOND — THE WOMEN WHO + PAID TITHE.</a> <br /> <i>Of the Cordeliers of Ostelleria in Catalonia, + who took tithe from the <br /> women of the town, and how it was known, + and the punishment the lord of <br /> that place and his subjects + inflicted on the monks, as you shall learn <br /> hereafter.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0033">STORY THE THIRTY-THIRD — THE LADY WHO + LOST HER HAIR.</a> <br /> Of a noble lord who was in love with a damsel + who cared for another <br /> great lord, but tried to keep it secret; and + of the agreement made <br /> between the two lovers concerning her, as + you shall hereafter hear. <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0034">STORY THE + THIRTY-FOURTH — THE MAN ABOVE AND THE MAN BELOW.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + married woman who gave rendezvous to two lovers, who came and <br /> + visited her, and her husband came soon after, and of the words which + <br /> passed between them, as you shall presently hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0035">STORY THE THIRTY-FIFTH — THE EXCHANGE.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a knight whose mistress married whilst he was on his + travels, and on <br /> his return, by chance he came to her house, and + she, in order that she <br /> might sleep with him, caused a young + damsel, her chamber-maid, to go to <br /> bed with her husband; and of + the words that passed between the husband <br /> and the knight his + guest, as are more fully recorded hereafter.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0036">STORY THE THIRTY-SIXTH — AT WORK.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a squire who saw his mistress, whom he greatly loved, + between <br /> two other gentlemern, and did not notice that she had hold + of both of <br /> them till another knight informed him of the matter as + you will hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0037">STORY THE + THIRTY-SEVENTH — THE USE OF DIRTY WATER.</a> <br /> <i>Of a jealous + man who recorded all the tricks which he could hear or <br /> learn by + which wives had deceived their husbands in old times; but at <br /> last + he was deceived by means of dirty water which the lover of the said + <br /> lady threw out of window upon her as she was going to Mass, as you + shall <br /> hear hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0038">STORY + THE THIRTY-EIGHTH — A ROD FOR ANOTHER’S BACK.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + citizen of Tours who bought a lamprey which he sent to his wife <br /> to + cook in order that he might give a feast to the priest, and the said + <br /> wife sent it to a Cordelier, who was her lover, and how she made a + woman <br /> who was her neighbour sleep with her husband, and how the + woman was <br /> beaten, and what the wife made her husband believe, as + you will hear <br /> hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0039">STORY + THE THIRTY-NINTH — BOTH WELL SERVED.</a> <br /> <i>Of a knight who, + whilst he was waiting for his mistress amused himself <br /> three times + with her maid, who had been sent to keep him company that <br /> he might + not be dull; and afterwards amused himself three times with <br /> the + lady, and how the husband learned it all from the maid, as you will + <br /> hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0040">STORY THE FORTIETH + — THE BUTCHER’S WIFE THE GHOST IN THE CHIMNEY.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + Jacobin who left his mistress, a butcher’s wife, for another woman <br /> + who was younger and prettier, and how the said butcher’s wife tried to + <br /> enter his house by the chimney.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0041">STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a knight who made his wife wear a hauberk whenever he would + do you <br /> know what; and of a clerk who taught her another method + which she almost <br /> told her husband, but turned it off suddenly.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0042">STORY THE FORTY-SECOND — THE + MARRIED PRIEST.</a> <br /> <i>Of a village clerk who being at Rome and + believing that his wife was <br /> dead became a priest, and was + appointed curé of his own town, and when <br /> he returned, the first + person he met was his wife.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0043">STORY + THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN HORNS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a labourer + who found a man with his wife, and forwent his revenge <br /> for a + certain quantity of wheat, but his wife insisted that he should <br /> + complete the work he had begun.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0044">STORY + THE FORTY-FOURTH —THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + village priest who found a husband for a girl with whom he was in <br /> + love, and who had promised him that when she was married she would do + <br /> whatever he wished, of which he reminded her on the wedding-day, + and the <br /> husband heard it, and took steps accordingly, as you will + hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0045">STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH + — THE SCOTSMAN TURNED WASHERWOMAN</a> <br /> <i>Of a young Scotsman + who was disguised as a woman for the space of <br /> fourteen years, and + by that means slept with many girls and married <br /> women, but was + punished in the end, as you will hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0046">STORY THE FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID + FOR THE PEARS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a Jacobin and a nun, who went secretly to + an orchard to enjoy <br /> pleasant pastime under a pear-tree; in which + tree was hidden one who <br /> knew of the assignation, and who spoiled + their sport for that time, as <br /> you will hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0047">STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH —TWO MULES + DROWNED TOGETHER.</a> <br /> <i>Of a President who knowing of the immoral + conduct of his wife, caused <br /> her to be drowned by her mule, which + had been kept without drink for a <br /> week, and given salt to eat—as + is more clearly related hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0048">STORY + THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH.</a> <br /> <i>Of a woman who + would not suffer herself to be kissed, though she <br /> willingly gave + up all the rest of her body except the mouth, to her <br /> lover—and + the reason that she gave for this.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0049">STORY + THE FORTY-NINTH —THE SCARLET BACKSIDE.</a> <br /> <i>Of one who saw + his wife with a man to whom she gave the whole of her <br /> body, except + her backside, which she left for her husband and he made <br /> her dress + one day when his friends were present in a woollen gown on the <br /> + backside of which was a piece of fine scarlet, and so left her before + <br /> all their friends.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0050">STORY + THE FIFTIETH — TIT FOR TAT.</a> <br /> <i>Of a father who tried to + kill his son because the young man wanted to <br /> lie with his + grandmother, and the reply made by the said son.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0051">STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL + FATHERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a woman who on her death-bed, in the absence of + her husband, made <br /> over her children to those to whom they + belonged, and how one of the <br /> youngest of the children informed his + father.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0052">STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND + — THE THREE REMINDERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of three counsels that a + father when on his deathbed gave his son, but <br /> to which the son + paid no heed. And how he renounced a young girl he had <br /> married, + because he saw her lying with the family chaplain the first <br /> night + after their wedding.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0053">STORY THE + FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES.</a> <br /> <i>Of two men and + two women who were waiting to be married at the first <br /> Mass in the + early morning; and because the priest could not see well, he <br /> took + the one for the other, and gave to each man the wrong wife, as you <br /> + will hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0054">STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH + — THE RIGHT MOMENT.</a> <br /> <i>Of a damsel of Maubeuge who gave + herself up to a waggoner, and refused <br /> many noble lovers; and of + the reply that she made to a noble knight <br /> because he reproached + her for this—as you will hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0055">STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH — A CURÉ FOR THE + PLAGUE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a girl who was ill of the plague and caused the + death of three men <br /> who lay with her, and how the fourth was saved, + and she also.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0056">STORY THE + FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, PRIEST, SERVANT, AND WOLF.</a> <br /> <i>Of + a gentleman who caught, in a trap that he laid, his wife, the <br /> + priest, her maid, and a wolf; and burned them all alive, because his + <br /> wife committed adultery with the priest.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0057">STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH — THE OBLIGING + BROTHER.</a> <br /> <i>Of a damsel who married a shepherd, and how the + marriage was arranged, <br /> and what a gentleman, the brother of the + damsel, said.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0058">STORY THE + FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN.</a> <br /> <i>Of two comrades who + wished to make their mistresses better inclined <br /> towards them, and + so indulged in debauchery, and said, that as after <br /> that their + mistresses still scorned them, that they too must have played <br /> at + the same game—as you will hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0059">STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a lord who pretended to be sick in order that he might lie + with the <br /> servant maid, with whom his wife found him.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0060">STORY THE SIXTIETH — THREE VERY MINOR + BROTHERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of three women of Malines, who were acquainted + with three cordeliers, <br /> and had their heads shaved, and donned the + gown that they might not be <br /> recognised, and how it was made known.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0061">STORY THE SIXTY-FIRST — + CUCKOLDED—AND DUPED.</a> <br /> <i>Of a merchant who locked up in a + bin his wife’s lover, and she secretly <br /> put an ass there which + caused her husband to be covered with confusion.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0062">STORY THE SIXTY-SECOND — THE LOST RING.</a> + <br /> <i>Of two friends, one of whom left a diamond in the bed of his + hostess, <br /> where the other found it, from which there arose a great + discussion <br /> between them, which the husband of the said hostess + settled in an <br /> effectual manner.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0063">STORY THE SIXTY-THIRD — MONTBLERU; OR + THE THIEF.</a> <br /> <i>Of one named Montbleru, who at a fair at Antwerp + stole from his <br /> companions their shirts and handkerchiefs, which + they had given to the <br /> servant-maid of their hostess to be washed; + and how afterwards they <br /> pardoned the thief, and then the said + Montbleru told them the whole of <br /> the story.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0064">STORY THE SIXTY-FOURTH — THE + OVER-CUNNING CURÉ.</a> <br /> <i>Of a priest who would have played a joke + upon a gelder named <br /> Trenche-couille, but, by the connivance of his + host, was himself <br /> castrated.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0065">STORY + THE SIXTY-FIFTH — INDISCRETION REPROVED, BUT NOT PUNISHED.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a woman who heard her husband say that an innkeeper at Mont + St. <br /> Michel was excellent at copulating, so went there, hoping to + try for <br /> herself, but her husband took means to prevent it, at + which she was much <br /> displeased, as you will hear shortly.</i> <br /> + <a href="#linklink2H_4_0066">STORY THE SIXTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN AT + THE BATH.</a> <br /> <i>Of an inn-keeper at Saint Omer who put to his son + a question for which <br /> he was afterwards sorry when he heard the + reply, at which his wife was <br /> much ashamed, as you will hear, + later.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0067">STORY THE SIXTY-SEVENTH + — THE WOMAN WITH THREE HUSBANDS</a> <br /> <i>Of a “fur hat” of + Paris, who wished to deceive a cobbler’s wife, but <br /> over-reached, + himself, for he married her to a barber, and thinking that <br /> he was + rid of her, would have wedded another, but she prevented him, as <br /> + you will hear more plainly hereafter.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0068">STORY THE SIXTY-EIGHTH — THE JADE + DESPOILED.</a> <br /> <i>Of a married man who found his wife with another + man, and devised <br /> means to get from her her money, clothes, jewels, + and all, down to <br /> her chemise, and then sent her away in that + condition, as shall be <br /> afterwards recorded.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0069">STORY THE SIXTY-NINTH — THE VIRTUOUS + LADY WITH TWO HUSBANDS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a noble knight of Flanders, who + was married to a beautiful and noble <br /> lady. He was for many years a + prisoner in Turkey, during which time his <br /> good and loving wife + was, by the importunities of her friends, induced <br /> to marry another + knight. Soon after she had remarried, she heard that <br /> her husband + had returned from Turkey, whereupon she allowed herself to <br /> die of + grief, because she had contracted a fresh marriage.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0070">STORY THE SEVENTIETH — THE DEVIL’S HORN.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a noble knight of Germany, a great traveller in his time; + who after <br /> he had made a certain voyage, took a vow to never make + the sign of <br /> the Cross, owing to the firm faith and belief that he + had in the holy <br /> sacrament of baptism—in which faith he + fought the devil, as you will <br /> hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0071">STORY THE SEVENTY-FIRST — THE + CONSIDERATE CUCKOLD</a> <br /> <i>Of a knight of Picardy, who lodged at + an inn in the town of St. Omer, <br /> and fell in lave with the hostess, + with whom he was amusing himself—you <br /> know how—when her + husband discovered them; and how he behaved—as you <br /> will + shortly hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0072">STORY THE + SEVENTY-SECOND — NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION.</a> <br /> + <i>Of a gentleman of Picardy who was enamoured of the wife of a knight + his <br /> neighbour; and how he obtained the lady’s favours and was + nearly caught <br /> with her, and with great difficulty made his escape, + as you will hear <br /> later.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0073">STORY + THE SEVENTY-THIRD — THE BIRD IN THE CAGE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a curé + who was in love with the wife of one of his parishioners, <br /> with + whom the said curé was found by the husband of the woman, the <br /> + neighbours having given him warning—and how the curé escaped, as + you <br /> will hear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0074">STORY THE + SEVENTY-FOURTH — THE OBSEQUIOUS PRIEST.</a> <br /> <i>Of a priest + of Boulogne who twice raised the body of Our Lord whilst <br /> chanting + a Mass, because he believed that the Seneschal of Boulogne <br /> had + come late to the Mass, and how he refused to take the Pax until the + <br /> Seneschal had done so, as you will hear hereafter.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0075">STORY THE SEVENTY-FIFTH — THE BAGPIPE.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a hare-brained half-mad fellow who ran a great risk of being + put <br /> to death by being hanged on a gibbet in order to injure and + annoy the <br /> Bailly, justices, and other notables of the city of + Troyes in Champagne <br /> by whom he was mortally hated, as will appear + more plainly hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0076">STORY THE + SEVENTY-SIXTH — CAUGHT IN THE ACT.</a> <br /> <i>Of the chaplain to + a knight of Burgundy who was enamoured of the wench <br /> of the said + knight, and of the adventure which happened on account of <br /> his + amour, as you will hear below.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0077">STORY + THE SEVENTY-SEVENTH — THE SLEEVELESS ROBE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a + gentleman of Flanders, who went to reside in France, but whilst he <br /> + was there his mother was very ill in Flanders; and how he often went + <br /> to visit her believing that she would die, and what he said and + how he <br /> behaved, as you will hear later.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0078">STORY THE SEVENTY-EIGHTH — THE HUSBAND + TURNED CONFESSOR.</a> <br /> <i>Of a married gentleman who made many long + voyages, during which time his <br /> good and virtuous wife made the + acquaintance of three good fellows, as <br /> you will hear; and how she + confessed her amours to her husband when he <br /> returned from his + travels, thinking she was confessing to the curé, and <br /> how she + excused herself, as will appear.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0079">STORY + THE SEVENTY-NINTH — THE LOST ASS FOUND.</a> <br /> <i>Of a good man + of Bourbonnais who went to seek the advice of a wise man <br /> of that + place about an ass that he had lost, and how he believed that he <br /> + miraculously recovered the said ass, as you will hear hereafter.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0080">STORY THE EIGHTIETH — GOOD + MEASURE!</a> <br /> <i>Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or + thereabouts who was <br /> married to a gentle gallant, and who + complained that her husband had too <br /> small an organ for her liking, + because she had seen a young ass of only <br /> six months old which had + a bigger instrument than her husband, who was <br /> 24 or 26 years old.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0081">STORY THE EIGHTY-FIRST — + BETWEEN TWO STOOLS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a noble knight who was in love with + a beautiful young married lady, <br /> and thought himself in her good + graces, and also in those of another <br /> lady, her neighbour; but lost + both as is afterwards recorded.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0082">STORY + THE EIGHTY-SECOND — BEYOND THE MARK.</a> <br /> <i>Of a shepherd + who made an agreement with a shepherdess that he should <br /> mount upon + her “in order that he might see farther,” but was not to <br /> penetrate + beyond a mark which she herself made with her hand upon the <br /> + instrument of the said shepherd—as will more plainly appear + hereafter.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0083">STORY THE EIGHTY-THIRD + — THE GLUTTONOUS MONK.</a> <br /> <i>Of a Carmelite monk who came + to preach at a village and after his <br /> sermon, he went to dine with + a lady, and how he stuffed out his gown, as <br /> you will hear.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0084">STORY THE EIGHTY-FOURTH — THE + DEVIL’S SHARE.</a> <br /> <i>Of one of his marshals who married the + sweetest and most lovable woman <br /> there was in all Germany. Whether + what I tell you is true—for I do <br /> not swear to it that I may + not be considered a liar—you will see more <br /> plainly below.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0085">STORY THE EIGHTY-FIFTH — + NAILED!</a> <br /> <i>Of a goldsmith, married to a fair, kind, and + gracious lady, and very <br /> amorous withal of a curé, her neighbour, + with whom her husband found her <br /> in bed, they being betrayed by one + of the goldsmith’s servants, who was <br /> jealous, as you will hear.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0086">STORY THE EIGHTY-SIXTH — + FOOLISH PEAR.</a> <br /> <i>Of a young man of Rouen, married to a fair, + young girl of the age of <br /> fifteen or thereabouts; and how the + mother of the girl wished to have <br /> the marriage annulled by the + Judge of Rouen, and of the sentence which <br /> the said Judge + pronounced when he had heard the parties—as you will <br /> hear + more plainly in the course of the said story.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0087">STORY THE EIGHTY-SEVENTH — WHAT THE EYE + DOES NOT SEE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a gentle knight who was enamoured of a + young and beautiful girl, <br /> and how he caught a malady in one of his + eyes, and therefore sent for a <br /> doctor, who likewise fell in love + with the same girl, as you will <br /> hear; and of the words which + passed between the knight and the doctor <br /> concerning the plaster + which the doctor had put on the knight’s good <br /> eye.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0088">STORY THE EIGHTY-EIGHTH — A HUSBAND IN + HIDING.</a> <br /> <i>Of a poor, simple peasant married to a nice, + pleasant woman, who did <br /> much as she liked, and who in order that + she might be alone with her <br /> lover, shut up her husband in the + pigeon-house in the manner you will <br /> hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0089">STORY THE EIGHTY-NINTH — THE FAULT OF + THE ALMANAC.</a> <br /> <i>Of a curé who forgot, either by negligence or + ignorance, to inform his <br /> parishioners that Lent had come until + Palm Sunday arrived, as you <br /> will hear—and of the manner in + which he excused himself to his <br /> parishioners.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0090">STORY THE NINETIETH — A GOOD REMEDY.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a good merchant of Brabant whose wife was very ill, and he + supposing <br /> that she was about to die, after many remonstrances and + exhortations for <br /> the salvation of her soul, asked her pardon, and + she pardoned him all <br /> his misdeeds, excepting that he had not + worked her as much as he ought <br /> to have done—as will appear + more plainly in the said story.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0091">STORY + THE NINETY-FIRST — THE OBEDIENT WIFE.</a> <br /> <i> Of a man who + was married to a woman so lascivious and lickerish, that <br /> I believe + she must have been born in a stove or half a league from the <br /> + summer sun, for no man, however well he might work, could satisfy her; + <br /> and how her husband thought to punish her, and the answer she gave + him.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0092">STORY THE NINETY-SECOND + — WOMEN’S QUARRELS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a married woman who was in + love with a Canon, and, to avoid <br /> suspicion, took with her one of + her neighbours when she went to visit <br /> the Canon; and of the + quarrel that arose between the two women, as you <br /> will hear.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0093">STORY THE NINETY-THIRD — HOW A + GOOD WIFE WENT ON A PILGRIMAGE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a good wife who + pretended to her husband that she was going on <br /> a pilgrimage, in + order to find opportunity to be with her lover the <br /> parish-clerk—with + whom her husband found her; and of what he said and <br /> did when he + saw them doing you know what.</i> <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0094">STORY + THE NINETY-FOURTH — DIFFICULT TO PLEASE.</a> <br /> <i>Of a curé + who wore a short gown, like a gallant about to be married, <br /> for + which cause he was summoned before the Ordinary, and of the sentence + <br /> which was passed, and the defence he made, and the other tricks he + <br /> played afterwards—as you will plainly hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0095">STORY THE NINETY-FIFTH — THE SORE FINGER + CURED.</a> <br /> <i>Of a monk who feigned to be very ill and in danger + of death, that he <br /> might obtain the favours of a certain young + woman in the manner which is <br /> described hereafter.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0096">STORY THE NINETY-SIXTH — A GOOD DOG.</a> + <br /> <i>Of a foolish and rich village curé who buried his dog in the + <br /> church-yard; for which cause he was summoned before his Bishop, + ana <br /> how he gave 60 gold crowns to the Bishop, and what the Bishop + said to <br /> him—which you will find related here.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0097">STORY THE NINETY-SEVENTH — BIDS AND + BIDDINGS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a number of boon companions making good cheer + and drinking at <br /> a tavern, and how one of them had a quarrel with + his wife when he <br /> returned home, as you will hear.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0098">STORY THE NINETY-EIGHTH — THE + UNFORTUNATE LOVERS.</a> <br /> <i>Of a knight of this kingdom and his + wife, who had a fair daughter aged <br /> fifteen or sixteen. Her father + would have married her to a rich old <br /> knight, his neighbour, but + she ran away with another knight, a young <br /> man who loved her + honourably; and, by strange mishap, they both died sad <br /> deaths + without having ever co-habited,—as you will hear shortly.</i> + <br /> <a href="#linklink2H_4_0099">STORY THE NINETY-NINTH — THE + METAMORPHOSIS.</a> <br /> <i>Relates how a Spanish Bishop, not being able + to procure fish, ate <br /> two partridges on a Friday, and how he told + his servants that he had <br /> converted them by his prayers into fish—as + will more plainly be related <br /> below.</i> <br /> <a + href="#linklink2H_4_0100">STORY THE HUNDREDTH AND LAST — THE + CHASTE LOVER.</a> <br /> <i>Of a rich merchant of the city of Genoa, who + married a fair damsel, <br /> who owing to the absence of her husband, + sent for a wise clerk—a young, <br /> fit, and proper man—to + help her to that of which she had need; and <br /> of the fast that he + caused her to make—as you will find more plainly <br /> below.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <a name="linklinkimage-0004" id="linklinkimage-0004"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/contents.jpg" width="100%" alt="Contents.jpg" + title="Last Page of Contents " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0005" id="linklinkimage-0005"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/intro.jpg" width="100%" alt="Intro.jpg" + title="Introduction " /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="linklink2H_INTR" id="linklink2H_INTR"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + INTRODUCTION + </h2> + <p> + The highest living authority on French Literature—Professor George + Saintsbury—has said: + </p> + <p> + “The <i>Cent Nouvelles</i> is undoubtedly the first work of literary prose + in French, and the first, moreover, of a long and most remarkable series + of literary works in which French writers may challenge all comers with + the certainty of victory. The short prose tale of a comic character is the + one French literary product the pre-eminence and perfection of which it is + impossible to dispute, and the prose tale first appears to advantage in + the <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>. The subjects are by no means new. + They are simply the old themes of the <i>fabliaux</i> treated in the old + way. The novelty is in the application of prose to such a purpose, and in + the crispness, the fluency, and the elegance, of the prose used.” + </p> + <p> + Besides the literary merits which the eminent critic has pointed out, the + stories give us curious glimpses of life in the 15th Century. We get a + genuine view of the social condition of the nobility and the middle + classes, and are pleasantly surprised to learn from the mouths of the + nobles themselves that the peasant was not the down-trodden serf that we + should have expected to find him a century after the Jacquerie, and 350 + years before the Revolution. + </p> + <p> + In fact there is an atmosphere of tolerance, not to say <i>bonhommie</i> + about these stories which is very remarkable when we consider under what + circumstances they were told, and by whom, and to whom. + </p> + <p> + This seems to have struck M. Lenient, a French critic, who says: + </p> + <p> + “Generally the incidents and personages belong to the <i>bourgeoisée</i>; + there is nothing chivalric, nothing wonderful; no dreamy lovers, romantic + dames, fairies, or enchanters. Noble dames, bourgeois, nuns, knights, + merchants, monks, and peasants mutually dupe each other. The lord deceives + the miller’s wife by imposing on her simplicity, and the miller retaliates + in much the same manner. The shepherd marries the knight’s sister, and the + nobleman is not over scandalized. + </p> + <p> + “The vices of the monks are depicted in half a score tales, and the + seducers are punished with a severity not always in proportion to the + offence.” + </p> + <p> + It seems curious that this valuable and interesting work has never before + been translated into English during the four and a half centuries the book + has been in existence. This is the more remarkable as the work was edited + in French by an English scholar—the late Thomas Wright. It can + hardly be the coarseness of some of the stories which has prevented the <i>Nouvelles</i> + from being presented to English readers when there are half a dozen + versions of the <i>Heptameron</i>, which is quite as coarse as the <i>Cent + Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>, does not possess the same historical interest, + and is not to be compared to the present work as regards either the + stories or the style. + </p> + <p> + In addition to this, there is the history of the book itself, and its + connection with one of the most important personages in French history—Louis + XI. Indeed, in many French and English works of reference, the authorship + of the <i>Nouvelles</i> has been attributed to him, and though in recent + years, the writer is now believed—and no doubt correctly—to + have been Antoine de la Salle, it is tolerably certain that Prince Louis + heard all the stories related, and very possibly contributed several of + them. The circumstances under which these stories came to be narrated + requires a few words of explanation. + </p> + <p> + At a very early age, Louis showed those qualities by which he was later + distinguished. When he was only fourteen, he caused his father, Charles + VII, much grief, both by his unfilial conduct and his behaviour to the + beautiful Agnes Sorel, the King’s mistress, towards whom he felt an + implacable hatred. He is said to have slapped her face, because he thought + she did not treat him with proper respect. This blow was, it is asserted, + the primary cause of his revolt against his father’s authority (1440). The + rebellion was put down, and the Prince was pardoned, but relations between + father and son were still strained, and in 1446, Louis had to betake + himself to his appanage of Dauphiné, where he remained for ten years, + always plotting and scheming, and braving his father’s authority. + </p> + <p> + At length the Prince’s Court at Grenoble became the seat of so many + conspiracies that Charles VII was obliged to take forcible measures. It + was small wonder that the King’s patience was exhausted. Louis, not + content with the rule of his province, had made attempts to win over many + of the nobility, and to bribe the archers of the Scotch Guard. Though not + liberal as a rule, he had also expended large sums to different secret + agents for some specific purpose, which was in all probability to secure + his father’s death, for he was not the sort of man to stick at parricide + even, if it would secure his ends. + </p> + <p> + The plot was revealed to Charles by Antoine de Chabannes, Comte de + Dampmartin. Louis, when taxed with his misconduct, impudently denied that + he had been mixed up with the conspiracy, but denounced all his + accomplices, and allowed them to suffer for his misdeeds. He did not, + however, forget to revenge them, so far as lay in his power. The fair + Agnès Sorel, whom he had always regarded as his bitterest enemy, died + shortly afterwards at Jumièges, and it has always been believed, and with + great show of reason, that she was poisoned by his orders. He was not able + to take vengeance on Antoine de Chabannes until after he became King. + </p> + <p> + Finding that his plots were of no avail, he essayed to get together an + army large enough to combat his father, but before he completed his plans, + Charles VII, tired of his endless treason and trickery, sent an army, + under the faithful de Chabannes, into the Dauphiné, with orders to arrest + the Dauphin. + </p> + <p> + The forces which Louis had at his disposal were numerically so much + weaker, that he did not dare to risk a battle. + </p> + <p> + “If God or fortune,” he cried, “had been kind enough to give me but half + the men-at-arms which now belong to the King, my father, and will be mine + some day, by Our Lady, my mistress, I would have spared him the trouble of + coming so far to seek me, but would have met him and fought him at Lyon.” + </p> + <p> + Not having sufficient forces, and feeling that he could not hope for fresh + pardon, he resolved to fly from France, and take refuge at the Court of + the Duke of Burgundy. + </p> + <p> + One day in June, 1456, he pretended to go hunting, and then, attended by + only half a dozen friends, rode as fast as he could into Burgundian + territory, and arrived at Saint Claude. + </p> + <p> + From there he wrote to his father, excusing his flight, and announcing his + intention of joining an expedition which Philippe le Bon, the reigning + Duke of Burgundy was about to undertake against the Turks. The Duke was at + that moment besieging Utrecht, but as soon as he heard the Dauphin had + arrived in his dominions, he sent orders that he was to be conducted to + Brussels with all the honours befitting his rank and station. + </p> + <p> + Shortly afterwards the Duke returned, and listened with real or pretended + sympathy to all the complaints that Louis made against his father, but put + a damper on any hopes that the Prince may have entertained of getting the + Burgundian forces to support his cause, by saying; + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur, you are welcome to my domains. I am happy to see you here. I + will provide you with men and money for any purpose you may require, + except to be employed against the King, your father, whom I would on no + account displease.” + </p> + <p> + Duke Philippe even tried to bring about a reconciliation between Charles + and his son; but as Louis was not very anxious to return to France, nor + Charles to have him there, and a good many of the nobles were far from + desiring that the Prince should come back, the negotiations came to + nothing. + </p> + <p> + Louis could make himself agreeable when he pleased, and during his stay in + the Duke’s domains, he was on good terms with Philippe le Bon, who granted + him 3000 gold florins a month, and the castle of Genappe as a residence. + This castle was situated on the Dyle, midway between Brussels and Louvain, + and about eight miles from either city. The river, or a deep moat, + surrounded the castle on every side. There was a drawbridge which was + drawn up at night, so Louis felt himself quite safe from any attack. + </p> + <p> + Here he remained five years (1456-1461) until the death of his father + placed him on the throne of France. + </p> + <p> + It was during these five years that these stories were told to amuse his + leisure. Probably there were many more than a hundred narrated—perhaps + several hundreds—but the literary man who afterwards “edited” the + stories only selected those which he deemed best, or, perhaps, those he + heard recounted. The narrators were the nobles who formed the Dauphin’s + Court. Much ink has been spilled over the question whether Louis himself + had any share in the production. In nearly every case the author’s name is + given, and ten of them (Nos. 2, 4, 7, 9, 11, 29, 33, 69, 70 and 71) are + described in the original edition as being by “Monseigneur.” Publishers of + subsequent editions brought out at the close of the 15th, or the beginning + of the 16th, Century, jumped to the conclusion that “Monseigneur” was + really the Dauphin, who not only contributed largely to the book, but + after he became King personally supervised the publication of the + collected stories. + </p> + <p> + For four centuries Louis XI was credited with the authorship of the tales + mentioned. The first person—so far as I am aware—to throw any + doubt on his claim was the late Mr. Thomas Wright, who edited an edition + of the <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>, published by Jannet, Paris, 1858. + He maintained, with some show of reason, that as the stories were told in + Burgundy, by Burgundians, and the collected tales were “edited” by a + subject of the Duke (Antoine de la Salle, of whom I shall have occasion to + speak shortly) it was more probable that “Monseigneur” would mean the Duke + than the Dauphin, and he therefore ascribed the stories to Philippe le + Bel. Modern French scholars, however, appear to be of opinion that + “Monseigneur” was the Comte de Charolais, who afterwards became famous as + Charles le Téméraire, the last Duke of Burgundy. + </p> + <p> + The two great enemies were at that time close friends, and Charles was a + very frequent visitor to Genappe. It was not very likely, they say, that + Duke Philippe who was an old man would have bothered himself to tell his + guest indecent stories. On the other hand, Charles, being then only Comte + de Charolais, had no right to the title of “Monseigneur,” but they parry + that difficulty by supposing that as he became Duke before the tales were + printed, the title was given him in the first printed edition. + </p> + <p> + The matter is one which will, perhaps, never be satisfactorily settled. My + own opinion—though I claim for it no weight or value—is that + Louis appears to have the greatest right to the stories, though in support + of that theory I can only adduce some arguments, which if separately weak + may have some weight when taken collectively. Vérard, who published the + first edition, says in the Dedication; “Et notez que par toutes les + Nouvelles où il est dit par Monseigneur il est entendu par Monseigneur le + Dauphin, lequel depuis a succédé à la couronne et est le roy Loys unsieme; + car il estoit lors es pays du duc de Bourgoingne.” + </p> + <p> + The critics may have good reason for throwing doubt on Vérard’s statement, + but unless he printed his edition from a M.S. made after 1467, and the + copyist had altered the name of the Comte de Charolais to “Monseigneur” it + is not easy to see how the error arose, whilst on the other hand, as + Vérard had every facility for knowing the truth, and some of the copies + must have been purchased by persons who were present when the stories were + told, the mistake would have been rectified in the subsequent editions + that Vérard brought out in the course of the next few years, when Louis + had been long dead and there was no necessity to flatter his vanity. + </p> + <p> + On examining the stories related by “Monseigneur,” it seems to me that + there is some slight internal evidence that they were told by Louis. + </p> + <p> + Brantôme says of him that, “he loved to hear tales of loose women, and had + but a poor opinion of woman and did not believe they were all chaste. + (This sounds well coming from Brantôme) Anyone who could relate such tales + was gladly welcomed by the Prince, who would have given all Homer and + Virgil too for a funny story.” The Prince must have heard many such + stories, and would be likely to repeat them, and we find the first half + dozen stories are decidedly “broad,” (No XI was afterwards appropriated by + Rabelais, as “Hans Carvel’s Ring”) and we may suspect that Louis tried to + show the different narrators by personal example what he considered a + really “good tale.” + </p> + <p> + We know also Louis was subject to fits of religious melancholy, and + evinced a superstitious veneration for holy things, and even wore little, + leaden images of the saints round his hat. In many of the stories we find + monks punished for their immorality, or laughed at for their ignorance, + and nowhere do we see any particular veneration displayed for the Church. + The only exception is No LXX, “The Devil’s Horn,” in which a knight by + sheer faith in the mystery of baptism vanquishes the Devil, whereas one of + the knight’s retainers, armed with a battle-axe but not possessing his + master’s robust faith in the efficacy of holy water, is carried off + bodily, and never heard of again. It seems to me that this story bears the + stamp of the character of Louis, who though suspicious towards men, was + childishly credulous in religious matters, but I leave the question for + critics more capable than I to decide. + </p> + <p> + Of the thirty-two noblemen or squires who contributed the other stories, + mention will be made in the notes. Of the stories, I may here mention that + 14 or 15 were taken from Boccaccio, and as many more from Poggio or other + Italian writers, or French <i>fabliaux</i>, but about 70 of them appear to + be original. + </p> + <p> + The knights and squires who told the stories had probably no great skill + as <i>raconteurs</i>, and perhaps did not read or write very fluently. The + tales were written down afterwards by a literary man, and they owe “the + crispness, fluency, and elegance,” which, as Prof. Saintsbury remarks, + they possess in such a striking degree, to the genius of Antoine de la + Sale. He was born in 1398 in Burgundy or Touraine. He had travelled much + in Italy, and lived for some years at the Court of the Comte d’ Anjou. He + returned to Burgundy later, and was, apparently, given some sort of + literary employment by Duke Philippe le Bel. At any rate he was appointed + by Philippe or Louis to record the stories that enlivened the evenings at + the Castle of Genappe, and the choice could not have fallen on a better + man. He was already known as the author of two or three books, one of + which—<i>Les Quinze Joyes de Mariage</i>—relates the woes of + married life, and displays a knowledge of character, and a quaint, + satirical humour that are truly remarkable, and remind the reader + alternately of Thackeray and Douglas Jerrold,—indeed some of the + Fifteen Joys are “Curtain Lectures” with a mediaeval environment, and the + word pictures of Woman’s foibles, follies, and failings are as bright + to-day as when they were penned exactly 450 years ago. They show that the + “Eternal Feminine” has not altered in five centuries—perhaps not in + five thousand! + </p> + <p> + The practised and facile pen of Antoine de la Sale clothed the dry bones + of these stories with flesh and blood, and made them live, and move. + Considering his undoubted gifts as a humourist, and a delineator of + character it is strange that the name of Antoine de la Sale is not held in + higher veneration by his countrymen, for he was the earliest exponent of a + form of literary art in which the French have always excelled. + </p> + <p> + In making a translation of these stories I at first determined to adhere + as closely as possible to the text, but found that the versions differed + greatly. I have followed the two best modern editions, and have made as + few changes and omissions as possible. + </p> + <p> + Three or four of the stories are extremely coarse, and I hesitated whether + to omit them, insert them in the original French, or translate them, but + decided that as the book would only be read by persons of education, + respectability, and mature age, it was better to translate them fully,—as + has been done in the case of the far coarser passages of Rabelais and + other writers. This course appeared to me less hypocritical than that + adopted in a recent expensive edition of Boccaccio in which the story of + Rusticus and Alibech was given in French—with a highly suggestive + full-page illustration facing the text for the benefit of those who could + not read the French language. + </p> + <p> + ROBERT B. DOUGLAS. + </p> + <p> + Paris, 21st October 1899. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Good friends, my readers, who peruse this book, + Be not offended, whilst on it you look: + Denude yourselves of all deprav’d affection, + For it contains no badness nor infection: + ‘T is true that it brings forth to you no birth + Of any value, but in point of mirth; + Thinking therefore how sorrow might your mind + Consume, I could no apter subject find; + One inch of joy surmounts of grief a span; + Because to laugh is proper to the man. + + (RABELAIS: <i>To the Readers</i>). +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="linklinkimage-0006" id="linklinkimage-0006"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/01.jpg" width="100%" alt="01.jpg" + title="Story the First -- The Reverse of The Medal. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0003" id="linklink2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="01pg (133K)" src="images/01pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIRST —THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL. <a href="#linklinknote-1" name="linklinknoteref-1" id="linklinknoteref-1">1</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur Le Duc + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>The first story tells of how one found means to enjoy the wife of his + neighbour, whose husband he had sent away in order that he might have + her the more easily, and how the husband returning from his journey, + found his friend bathing with his wife. And not knowing who she was, he + wished to see her, but was permitted only to see her back—, and + then thought that she resembled his wife, but dared not believe it. And + thereupon left and found his wife at home, she having escaped by a + postern door, and related to her his suspicions.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the town of Valenciennes there lived formerly a notable citizen, who + had been receiver of Hainault, who was renowned amongst all others for his + prudence and discretion, and amongst his praiseworthy virtues, liberality + was not the least, and thus it came to pass that he enjoyed the grace of + princes, lords, and other persons of good estate. And this happy + condition, Fortune granted and preserved to him to the end of his days. + </p> + <p> + Both before and after death unloosed him from the chains of matrimony, the + good citizen mentioned in this Story, was not so badly lodged in the said + town but that many a great lord would have been content and honoured to + have such a lodging. His house faced several streets, in one of which was + a little postern door, opposite to which lived a good comrade of his, who + had a pretty wife, still young and charming. + </p> + <p> + And, as is customary, her eyes, the archers of the heart, shot so many + arrows into the said citizen, that unless he found some present remedy, he + felt his case was no less than mortal. + </p> + <p> + To more surely prevent such a fate, he found many and subtle manners of + making the good comrade, the husband of the said quean, his private and + familiar friend, so, that few of the dinners, suppers, banquets, baths, + and other such amusements took place, either in the hotel or elsewhere, + without his company. And of such favours his comrade was very proud, and + also happy. + </p> + <p> + When our citizen, who was more cunning than a fox, had gained the + good-will of his friend, little was needed to win the love of his wife, + and in a few days he had worked so much and so well that the gallant lady + was fain to hear his case, and to provide a suitable remedy thereto. It + remained but to provide time and place; and for this she promised him + that, whenever her husband lay abroad for a night, she would advise him + thereof. + </p> + <p> + The wished-for day arrived when the husband told his wife that he was + going to a chateau some three leagues distant from Valenciennes, and + charged her to look after the house and keep within doors, because his + business would not permit him to return that night. + </p> + <p> + It need not be asked if she was joyful, though she showed it not either in + word, or deed, or otherwise. Her husband had not journeyed a league before + the citizen knew that the opportunity had come. + </p> + <p> + He caused the baths to be brought forth, and the stoves to be heated, and + pasties, tarts, and hippocras, and all the rest of God’s good gifts, to be + prepared largely and magnificently. + </p> + <p> + When evening came, the postern door was unlocked, and she who was expected + entered thereby, and God knows if she was not kindly received. I pass over + all this. + </p> + <p> + Then they ascended into a chamber, and washed in a bath, by the side of + which a good supper was quickly laid and served. And God knows if they + drank often and deeply. To speak of the wines and viands would be a waste + of time, and, to cut the story short, there was plenty of everything. In + this most happy condition passed the great part of this sweet but short + night; kisses often given and often returned, until they desired nothing + but to go to bed. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were thus making good cheer, the husband returned from his + journey, and knowing nothing of this adventure, knocked loudly at the door + of the house. And the company that was in the ante-chamber refused him + entrance until he should name his surety. + </p> + <p> + Then he gave his name loud and clear, and so his good wife and the citizen + heard him and knew him. She was so amazed to hear the voice of her husband + that her loyal heart almost failed her; and she would have fainted, had + not the good citizen and his servants comforted her. + </p> + <p> + The good citizen being calm and well advised how to act, made haste to put + her to bed, and lay close by her; and charged her well that she should lie + close to him and hide her face, so that no one could see it. And that + being done as quickly as may be, yet without too much haste, he ordered + that the door should be opened. Then his good comrade sprang into the + room, thinking to himself that there must be some mystery, else they had + not kept him out of the room. And when he saw the table laid with wines + and goodly viands, also the bath finely prepared, and the citizen in a + handsome bed, well curtained, with a second person by his side, God knows + he spoke loudly, and praised the good cheer of his neighbour. He called + him rascal, and whore-monger, and drunkard, and many other names, which + made those who were in the chamber laugh long and loud; but his wife could + not join in the mirth, her face being pressed to the side of her new + friend. + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” said the husband, “Master whore-monger, you have well hidden from me + this good cheer; but, by my faith, though I was not at the feast, you must + show me the bride.” + </p> + <p> + And with that, holding a candle in his hand, he drew near the bed, and + would have withdrawn the coverlet, under which, in fear and silence, lay + his most good and perfect wife, when the citizen and his servants + prevented him; but he was not content, and would by force, in spite of + them all, have laid his hand upon the bed. + </p> + <p> + But he was not master there, and could not have his will, and for good + cause, and was fain to be content with a most gracious proposal which was + made to him, and which was this, that he should be shown the backside of + his wife, and her haunches, and thighs—which were big and white, and + moreover fair and comely—without uncovering and beholding her face. + </p> + <p> + The good comrade, still holding a candle in his hand, gazed for long + without saying a word; and when he did speak, it was to praise highly the + great beauty of that dame, and he swore by a great oath that he had never + seen anything that so much resembled the back parts of his own wife, and + that were he not well sure that she was at home at that time, he would + have said it was she. + </p> + <p> + She had by this somewhat recovered, and he drew back much disconcerted, + but God knows that they all told him, first one and then the other, that + he had judged wrongly, and spoken against the honour of his wife, and that + this was some other woman, as he would afterwards see for himself. + </p> + <p> + To restore him to good humour, after they had thus abused his eyes, the + citizen ordered that they should make him sit at the table, where he + drowned his suspicions by eating and drinking of what was left of the + supper, whilst they in the bed were robbing him of his honour. + </p> + <p> + The time came to leave, and he said good night to the citizen and his + companions, and begged they would let him leave by the postern door, that + he might the sooner return home. But the citizen replied that he knew not + then where to find the key; he thought also that the lock was so rusted + that they could not open the door, which they rarely if ever used. He was + content therefore to leave by the front gate, and make a long detour to + reach his house, and whilst the servants of the citizen led him to the + door, the good wife was quickly on her feet, and in a short time, clad in + a simple sark, with her corset on her arm, and come to the postern. She + made but one bound to her house, where she awaited her husband (who came + by a longer way) well-prepared as to the manner in which she should + receive him. + </p> + <p> + Soon came our man, and seeing still a light in the house, knocked at the + door loudly; and this good wife, who was pretending to clean the house, + and had a besom in her hands, asked — what she knew well; “Who is + there?” + </p> + <p> + And he replied; “It is your husband.” + </p> + <p> + “My husband!” said she. “My husband is not here! He is not in the town!” + </p> + <p> + With that he knocked again, and cried, “Open the door! I am your husband.” + </p> + <p> + “I know my husband well,” quoth she, “and it is not his custom to return + home so late at night, when he is in the town. Go away, and do not knock + here at this hour.” + </p> + <p> + But he knocked all the more, and called her by name once or twice. Yet she + pretended not to know him, and asked why he came at that hour, but for all + reply he said nothing but, “Open! Open!” + </p> + <p> + “Open!” said she. “What! are you still there you rascally whore-monger? By + St. Mary, I would rather see you drown than come in here! Go! and sleep as + badly as you please in the place where you came from.” + </p> + <p> + Then her good husband grew angry, and thundered against the door as though + he would knock the house down, and threatened to beat his wife, such was + his rage,—of which she had not great fear; but at length, because of + the noise he made, and that she might the better speak her mind to him, + she opened the door, and when he entered, God knows whether he did not see + an angry face, and have a warm greeting. For when her tongue found words + from a heart overcharged with anger and indignation, her language was as + sharp as well-ground Guingant razors. + </p> + <p> + And, amongst other things, she reproached him that he had wickedly + pretended a journey in order that he might try her, and that he was a + coward and a recreant, unworthy to have such a wife as she was. + </p> + <p> + Our good comrade, though he had been angry, saw how wrong he had been, and + restrained his wrath, and the indignation that in his heart he had + conceived when he was standing outside the door was turned aside. So he + said, to excuse himself, and to satisfy his wife, that he had returned + from his journey because he had forgotten a letter concerning the object + of his going. + </p> + <p> + Pretending not to believe him, she invented more stories, and charged him + with having frequented taverns and bagnios, and other improper and + dissolute resorts, and that he behaved as no respectable man should, and + she cursed the hour in which she had made his acquaintance, and doubly + cursed the day she became his wife. + </p> + <p> + The poor man, much grieved, seeing his wife more troubled than he liked, + knew not what to say. And his suspicions being removed, he drew near her, + weeping and falling upon his knees and made the following fine speech. + </p> + <p> + “My most dear companion, and most loyal wife, I beg and pray of you to + remove from your heart the wrath you have conceived against me, and pardon + me for all that I have done against you. I own my fault, I see my error. I + have come now from a place where they made good cheer, and where, I am + ashamed to say, I fancied I recognised you, at which I was much + displeased. And so I wrongfully and causelessly suspected you to be other + than a good woman, of which I now repent bitterly, and pray of you to + forgive me, and pardon my folly.” + </p> + <p> + The good woman, seeing her husband so contrite, showed no great anger. + </p> + <p> + “What?” said she, “You have come from filthy houses of ill-fame, and you + dare to think that your honest wife would be seen in such places?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, my dear, I know you would not. For God’s sake, say no more about + it.” said the good man, and repeated his aforesaid request. + </p> + <p> + She, seeing his contrition, ceased her reproaches, and little by little + regained her composure, and with much ado pardoned him, after he had made + a hundred thousand oaths and promises to her who had so wronged him. And + from that time forth she often, without fear or regret, passed the said + postern, nor were her escapades discovered by him who was most concerned. + And that suffices for the first story. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0004" id="linklink2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="02pg (121K)" src="images/02pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE SECOND — THE MONK-DOCTOR. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>The second story, related by Duke Philip, is of a young girl who had + piles, who put out the only eye he had of a Cordelier monk who was + healing her, and of the lawsuit that followed thereon.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the chief town of England, called London, which is much resorted to by + many folks, there lived, not long ago, a rich and powerful man who was a + merchant and citizen, who beside his great wealth and treasures, was + enriched by the possession of a fair daughter, whom God had given him over + and above his substance, and who for goodness, prettiness, and gentleness, + surpassed all others of her time, and who when she was fifteen was + renowned for her virtue and beauty. + </p> + <p> + God knows that many folk of good position desired and sought for her good + grace by all the divers manners used by lovers,—which was no small + pleasure to her father and mother, and increased their ardent and paternal + affection for their beloved daughter. + </p> + <p> + But it happened that, either by the permission of God, or that Fortune + willed and ordered it so, being envious and discontented at the prosperity + of this beautiful girl, or of her parents, or all of them,—or may be + from some secret and natural cause that I leave to doctors and + philosophers to determine, that she was afflicted with an unpleasant and + dangerous disease which is commonly called piles. + </p> + <p> + The worthy family was greatly troubled when they found the fawn they so + dearly loved, set on by the sleuth-hounds and beagles of this unpleasant + disease, which had, moreover, attacked its prey in a dangerous place. The + poor girl—utterly cast down by this great misfortune,—could do + naught else than weep and sigh. Her grief-stricken mother was much + troubled; and her father, greatly vexed, wrung his hands, and tore his + hair in his rage at this fresh misfortune. + </p> + <p> + Need I say that all the pride of that household was suddenly cast down to + the ground, and in one moment converted into bitter and great grief. + </p> + <p> + The relations, friends, and neighbours of the much-enduring family came to + visit and comfort the damsel; but little or nothing might they profit her, + for the poor girl was more and more attacked and oppressed by that + disease. + </p> + <p> + Then came a matron who had much studied that disease, and she turned and + re-turned the suffering patient, this way, and that way, to her great pain + and grief, God knows, and made a medicine of a hundred thousand sorts of + herbs, but it was no good; the disease continued to get worse, so there + was no help but to send for all the doctors of the city and round about, + and for the poor girl to discover unto them her most piteous case. + </p> + <p> + There came Master Peter, Master John, Master This, Master That—as + many doctors as you would, who all wished to see the patient together, and + uncover that portion of her body where this cursed disease, the piles had, + alas, long time concealed itself. + </p> + <p> + The poor girl, as much cast down and grieved as though she were condemned + to die, would in no wise agree or permit that her affliction should be + known; and would rather have died than shown such a secret place to the + eyes of any man. + </p> + <p> + This obstinacy though endured not long, for her father and her mother came + unto her, and remonstrated with her many times,—saying that she + might be the cause of her own death, which was no small sin; and many + other matters too long to relate here. + </p> + <p> + Finally, rather to obey her father and mother than from fear of death, the + poor girl allowed herself to be bound and laid on a couch, head downwards, + and her body so uncovered that the physicians might see clearly the seat + of the disease which troubled her. + </p> + <p> + They gave orders what was to be done, and sent apothecaries with clysters, + powders, ointments, and whatsoever else seemed good unto them; and she + took all that they sent, in order that she might recover her health. + </p> + <p> + But all was of no avail, for no remedy that the said physicians could + apply helped to heal the distressing malady from which she suffered, nor + could they find aught in their books, until at last the poor girl, what + with grief and pain was more dead than alive, and this grief and great + weakness lasted many days. + </p> + <p> + And whilst the father and mother, relations, and neighbours sought for + aught that might alleviate their daughter’s sufferings, they met with an + old Cordelier monk, who was blind of one eye, and who in his time had seen + many things, and had dabbled much in medicine, therefore his presence was + agreeable to the relations of the patient, and he having gazed at the + diseased part at his leisure, boasted much that he could cure her. + </p> + <p> + You may fancy that he was most willingly heard, and that all the + grief-stricken assembly, from whose hearts all joy had been banished, + hoped that the result would prove as he had promised. + </p> + <p> + Then he left, and promised that he would return the next day, provided and + furnished with a drug of such virtue, that it would at once remove the + great pain and martyrdom which tortured and annoyed the poor patient. + </p> + <p> + The night seemed over-long, whilst waiting for the wished-for morrow; + nevertheless, the long hours passed, and our worthy Cordelier kept his + promise, and came to the patient at the hour appointed. You may guess that + he was well and joyously received; and when the time came when he was to + heal the patient, they placed her as before on a couch, with her backside + covered with a fair white cloth of embroidered damask, having, where her + malady was, a hole pierced in it through which the Cordelier might arrive + at the said place. + </p> + <p> + He gazed at the seat of the disease, first from one side, then from the + other: and anon he would touch it gently with his finger, or inspect the + tube by which he meant to blow in the powder which was to heal her, or + anon would step back and inspect the diseased parts, and it seemed as + though he could never gaze enough. + </p> + <p> + At last he took the powder in his left hand, poured upon a small flat + dish, and in the other hand the tube, which he filled with the said + powder, and as he gazed most attentively and closely through the opening + at the seat of the painful malady of the poor girl, she could not contain + herself, seeing the strange manner in which the Cordelier gazed at her + with his one eye, but a desire to burst out laughing came upon her, though + she restrained herself as long as she could. + </p> + <p> + But it came to pass, alas! that the laugh thus held back was converted + into a f—t, the wind of which caught the powder, so that the greater + part of it was blown into the face and into the eye of the good Cordelier, + who, feeling the pain, dropped quickly both plate and tube, and almost + fell backwards, so much was he frightened. And when he came to himself, he + quickly put his hand to his eye, complaining loudly, and saying that he + was undone, and in danger to lose the only good eye he had. + </p> + <p> + Nor did he lie, for in a few days, the powder which was of a corrosive + nature, destroyed and ate away his eye, so that he became, and remained, + blind. + </p> + <p> + Then he caused himself to be led one day to the house where he had met + with this sad mischance, and spoke to the master of the house, to whom he + related his pitiful case, demanding, as was his right, that there should + be granted to him such amends as his condition deserved, in order that he + might live honourably. + </p> + <p> + The merchant replied that though the misadventure greatly vexed him, he + was in nowise the cause of it, nor could he in any way be charged with it, + but that he would, out of pity and charity, give him some money, and + though the Cordelier had undertaken to cure his daughter and had not so + done, would give him as much as he would if she had been restored to + health, though not forced to do so. + </p> + <p> + The Cordelier was not content with this offer, but required that he should + be kept for the rest of his life, seeing that the merchant’s daughter had + blinded him, and that in the presence of many people, and thereby he was + deprived from ever again performing Mass or any of the services of the + Holy Church, or studying what learned men had written concerning the Holy + Scriptures, and thus could no longer serve as a preacher; which would be + his destruction, for he would be a beggar and without means, save alms, + and these he could no longer obtain. + </p> + <p> + But all that he could say was of no avail, and he could get no other + answer than that given. So he cited the merchant before the Parliament of + the said city of London, which called upon the aforesaid merchant to + appear. When the day came, the Cordelier’s case was stated by a lawyer + well-advised as to what he should say, and God knows that many came to the + Court to hear this strange trial, which much pleased the lords of the said + Parliament, as much for the strangeness of the case as for the allegations + and arguments of the parties debating therein, which were not only curious + but amusing. + </p> + <p> + To many folk was this strange and amusing case known, and was often + adjourned and left undecided by the judges, as is their custom. And so + she, who before this was renowned for her beauty, goodness, and + gentleness, became notorious through this cursed disease of piles, but was + in the end cured, as I have been since told. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0007" id="linklinkimage-0007"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/03.jpg" width="100%" alt="03.jpg" + title=" Story the Third -- The Search for The Ring. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0005" id="linklink2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="03pg (134K)" src="images/03pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRD — THE SEARCH FOR THE RING. <a href="#linklinknote-3" name="linklinknoteref-3" id="linklinknoteref-3">3</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de la Roche + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of the deceit practised by a knight on a miller’s wife whom he made + believe that her front was loose, and fastened it many times. And the + miller informed of this, searched for a diamond that the knight’s lady + had lost, and found it in her body, as the knight knew afterwards: so he + called the miller “fisherman”, and the miller called him “fastener”.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the Duchy of Burgundy lived formerly a noble knight, whose name is not + mentioned in the present story, who was married to a fair and gentle lady. + And near the castle of the said knight lived a miller, also married to a + fair young wife. + </p> + <p> + It chanced once, that the knight, to pass the time and enjoy himself, was + strolling around his castle, and by the banks of the river on which stood + the house and mill of the said miller, who at that time was not at home, + but at Dijon or Beaune,—he saw and remarked the wife of the said + miller carrying two jars and returning from the river, whither she had + been to draw water. + </p> + <p> + He advanced towards her and saluted her politely, and she, being + well-mannered, made him the salutation which belonged to his rank. The + knight, finding that the miller’s wife was very fair but had not much + sense, drew near to her and said. + </p> + <p> + “Of a truth, my friend, I see well that you are in ill case, and therefore + in great peril.” + </p> + <p> + At these words the miller’s wife replied. + </p> + <p> + “Alas, monseigneur, and what shall I do?” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, my dear, if you walk thus, your ‘front piece’ is in danger of + falling off, and if I am not mistaken, you will not keep it much longer.” + </p> + <p> + The foolish woman, on hearing these words was astonished and vexed;—astonished + to think how the knight could know, without seeing, of this unlucky + accident, and vexed to think of the loss of the best part of her body, and + one that she used well, and her husband also. + </p> + <p> + She replied; “Alas! sir, what is this you tell me, and how do you know + that my ‘front piece’ is in danger of falling off? It seems to keep its + place well.” + </p> + <p> + “There, there! my dear,” replied the knight. “Let it suffice that I have + told you the truth. You would not be the first to whom such a thing had + happened.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir,” said she. “I shall be an undone, dishonoured and lost woman; + and what will my husband say when he hears of the mischance? He will have + no more to do with me.” + </p> + <p> + “Be not discomforted to that degree, my friend; it has not happened yet; + besides there is a sure remedy.” + </p> + <p> + When the young woman heard that there was a remedy for her complaint, her + blood began to flow again, and she begged the knight for God’s sake that + he would teach her what she must do to keep this poor front-piece from + falling off. The knight, who was always most courteous and gracious, + especially towards the ladies, replied; + </p> + <p> + “My friend, as you are a good and pretty girl, and I like your husband, I + will teach you how to keep your front-piece.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir, I thank you; and certainly you will do a most meritorious + work: for it would be better to die than to live without my front-piece. + And what ought I to do sir? + </p> + <p> + “My dear,” he said, “to prevent your front-piece from falling off, you + must have it fastened quickly and often.” + </p> + <p> + “Fastened, sir? And who will do that? Whom shall I ask to do this for me?” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, my dear,” replied the knight. “And because I warned you + of this mischance being so near, and told you of the remedy necessary to + obviate the inconveniences which would arise, and which I am sure would + not please you,—I am content, in order to further increase the love + between us, to fasten your front-piece, and put it in such a good + condition that you may safely carry it anywhere, without any fear or doubt + that it will ever fall off; for in this matter I am very skilful.” + </p> + <p> + It need not be asked whether the miller’s wife was joyful. She employed + all the little sense she had to thank the knight. So they walked together, + she and the knight, back to the mill, where they were no sooner arrived + than the knight kindly began his task, and with a tool that he had, + shortly fastened, three or four times, the front-piece of the miller’s + wife, who was most pleased and joyous; and after having appointed a day + when he might again work at this front-piece, the knight left, and + returned quickly to his castle. + </p> + <p> + On the day named, he went again to the mill, and did his best, in the way + above mentioned, to fasten this front-piece; and so well did he work as + time went on, that this front-piece was most safely fastened, and held + firmly and well in its place. + </p> + <p> + Whilst our knight thus fastened the front-piece of the miller’s wife, the + miller one day returned from his business, and made good cheer, as also + did his wife. And as they were talking over their affairs, this most wise + wife said to her husband. + </p> + <p> + “On my word, we are much indebted to the lord of this town.” + </p> + <p> + “Tell me how, and in what manner,” replied the miller. + </p> + <p> + “It is quite right that I should tell you, that you may thank him, as + indeed you must. The truth is that, whilst you were away, my lord passed + by our house one day that I was carrying two pitchers from the river. He + saluted me and I did the same to him; and as I walked away, he saw, I know + not how, that my front-piece was not held properly, and was in danger of + falling off. He kindly told me so, at which I was as astonished and vexed + as though the end of the world had come. The good lord who saw me thus + lament, took pity on me, and showed me a good remedy for this cursed + disaster. And he did still more, which he would not have done for every + one, for the remedy of which he told me,—which was to fasten and + hold back my front-piece in order to prevent it from dropping off,—he + himself applied, which was great trouble to him, and he did it many times + because that my case required frequent attention. + </p> + <p> + “What more shall I say? He, has so well performed his work that we can + never repay him. By my faith, he has in one day of this week fastened it + three times; another day, four times; another day, twice; another day, + three times; and he never left me till I was quite cured, and brought to + such a condition that my front-piece now holds as well and firmly as that + of any woman in our town.” + </p> + <p> + The miller, on hearing this adventure, gave no outward sign of what was + passing in his mind, but, as though he had been joyful, said to his wife: + </p> + <p> + “I am very glad, my dear, that my lord hath done us this service, and, God + willing, when it shall be possible, I will do as much for him. But at any + rate, as it is not proper it should be known, take care that you say no + word of this to anyone; and also, now that you are cured, you need not + trouble my lord any further in this matter.” + </p> + <p> + “You have warned me,” replied his wife, “not to say a word about it and + that is also what my lord bade me.” + </p> + <p> + Our miller, who was a good fellow, often thought over the kindness that my + lord had done him, and conducted himself so wisely and carefully that the + said lord never suspected that he knew how he had been deceived, and + imagined that he knew nothing. But alas, his heart and all his thoughts + were bent on revenge and how he could repay in like manner the deceit + practised on his wife. And at length he bethought himself of a way by + which he could, he imagined, repay my lord in butter for his eggs. + </p> + <p> + At last, owing to other circumstances, the knight was obliged to mount his + horse and say farewell to his wife for a month; at which our miller was in + no small degree pleased. + </p> + <p> + One day, the lady had a desire to bathe, and caused the bath to be brought + forth and the stoves to be heated in her private apartments; of which our + miller knew soon, because he learned all that went on in the house; so he + took a fine pike, that he kept in the ditch near his house, and went to + the castle to present it to the lady. + </p> + <p> + None of the waiting-women would he let take the fish, but said that he + must present it himself to the lady, or else he would take it back home. + At last, because he was well-known to the household, and a good fellow, + the lady allowed him to enter whilst she was in her bath. + </p> + <p> + The miller gave his present, for which the lady thanked him, and caused it + to be taken to the kitchen and cooked for supper. + </p> + <p> + Whilst he was talking, the miller perceived on the edge of the bath, a + fine large diamond which she had taken from her finger, fearing lest the + water should spoil it. He took it so quietly that no one saw him, and + having gained his point, said good night to the lady and her women, and + returned to the mill to think over his business. + </p> + <p> + The lady, who was making good cheer with her attendants, seeing that it + was now very late, and supper-time, left the bath and retired to her bed. + And as she was looking at her arms and hands, she saw not the diamond, and + she called her women, and asked them where was the diamond, and to whom + she had given it. Each said, “It was not to me;”—“Nor to me,”—“Nor + to me either.” + </p> + <p> + They searched inside and outside the bath, and everywhere, but it was no + good, they could not find it. The search for this diamond lasted a long + time, without their finding any trace of it, which caused the lady much + vexation, because it had been unfortunately lost in her chamber, and also + because my lord had given it to her the day of their betrothal, and she + held it very precious. They did not know whom to suspect nor whom to ask, + and much sorrow prevailed in the household. + </p> + <p> + Then one of the women bethought herself, and said. + </p> + <p> + “No one entered the room but ourselves and the miller; it seems right that + he should be sent for.” + </p> + <p> + He was sent for, and came. The lady who was much vexed, asked the miller + if he had not seen her diamond. He, being as ready to lie as another is to + tell the truth, answered boldly, and asked if the lady took him for a + thief? To which she replied gently; + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not, miller; it would be no theft if you had for a joke taken + away my diamond.” + </p> + <p> + “Madame,” said the miller, “I give you my word that I know nothing about + your diamond.” + </p> + <p> + Then were they all much vexed, and my lady especially, so that she could + not refrain from weeping tears in great abundance at the loss of this + trinket. They all sorrowfully considered what was to be done. One said + that it must be in the chamber, and another said that they had searched + everywhere, and that it was impossible it should be there or they would + have found it, as it was easily seen. + </p> + <p> + The miller asked the lady if she had it when she entered the bath; and she + replied, yes. + </p> + <p> + “If it be so, certainly, madam, considering the diligence you have made in + searching for it, and without finding it, the affair is very strange. + Nevertheless, it seems to me that if there is any man who could give + advice how it should be found, I am he, and because I would not that my + secret should be discovered and known to many people, it would be + expedient that I should speak to you alone.” + </p> + <p> + “That is easily managed,” said the lady. So her attendants left, but, as + they were leaving, Dames Jehanne, Isabeau, and Katherine said, + </p> + <p> + “Ah, miller, you will be a clever man if you bring back this diamond.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t say that I am over-clever,” replied the miller, “but I venture to + declare that if it is possible to find it I am the man to do so.” + </p> + <p> + When he saw that he was alone with the lady, he told her that he believed + seriously, that as she had the diamond when she entered the bath, that it + must have fallen from her finger and entered her body, seeing that there + was no one who could have stolen it. + </p> + <p> + And that he might hasten to find it, he made the lady-get upon her bed, + which she would have willingly refused if she could have done otherwise. + </p> + <p> + After he had uncovered her, he pretended to look here and there, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, madam, the diamond has entered your body.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you say, miller, that you have seen it?” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said she, “and how can it be got out?” + </p> + <p> + “Very easily, madam. I doubt not to succeed if it please you.” + </p> + <p> + “May God help you! There is nothing that I would not do to get it again,” + said the lady, “or to advance you, good miller.” + </p> + <p> + The miller placed the lady on the bed, much in the same position as the + lord had placed <i>his</i> wife when he fastened her front-piece, and with + a like tool was the search for the diamond made. + </p> + <p> + Whilst resting after the first and second search that the miller made for + the diamond, the lady asked him if he had not felt it, and he said, yes, + at which she was very joyful, and begged that he would seek until he had + found it. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, the good miller did so well that he restored to the + lady her beautiful diamond, which caused great joy throughout the house, + and never did miller receive so much honour and advancement as the lady + and her maids bestowed upon him. + </p> + <p> + The good miller, who was high in the good graces of the lady after the + much-desired conclusion of his great enterprise, left the house and went + home, without boasting to his wife of his recent adventure, though he was + more joyful over it than though he had gained the whole world. + </p> + <p> + A short time after, thank God, the knight returned to his castle, and was + kindly received and humbly welcomed by the lady, who whilst they were + enjoying themselves in bed, told him of the most wonderful adventure of + the diamond, and how it was fished out of her body by the miller; and, to + cut matters short, related the process, fashion, and manner employed by + the said miller in his search for the diamond, which hardly gave her + husband much joy, but he reflected that the miller had paid him back in + his own coin. + </p> + <p> + The first time he met the good miller, he saluted him coldly, and said, + </p> + <p> + “God save you! God save you, good diamond-searcher!” + </p> + <p> + To which the good miller replied, + </p> + <p> + “God save you! God save you, fastener of front-pieces!” + </p> + <p> + “By our Lady, you speak truly,” said the knight. “Say nothing about me, + and I will say nothing about you.” + </p> + <p> + The miller was satisfied, and never spoke of it again; nor did the knight + either, so far as I know. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0008" id="linklinkimage-0008"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/04.jpg" width="100%" alt="04.jpg" + title=" Story the Fourth -- The Armed Cuckold. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0006" id="linklink2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="04pg (133K)" src="images/04pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FOURTH — THE ARMED CUCKOLD. <a href="#linklinknote-4" name="linklinknoteref-4" id="linklinknoteref-4">4</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>The fourth tale is of a Scotch archer who was in love with a fair and + gentle dame, the wife of a mercer, who, by her husband’s orders + appointed a day for the said Scot to visit her, who came and treated her + as he wished, the said mercer being hid by the side of the bed, where he + could see and hear all.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + When the king was lately in the city of Tours, a Scottish gentleman, an + archer of his bodyguard, was greatly enamoured of a beautiful and gentle + damsel married to a mercer; and when he could find time and place, related + to her his sad case, but received no favourable reply,—at which he + was neither content nor joyous. Nevertheless, as he was much in love, he + relaxed not the pursuit, but besought her so eagerly, that the damsel, + wishing to drive him away for good and all, told him that she would inform + her husband of the dishonourable and damnable proposals made to her,—which + at length she did. + </p> + <p> + The husband,—a good and wise man, honourable and valiant, as you + will see presently,—was very angry to think that the Scot would + dishonour him and his fair wife. And that he might avenge himself without + trouble, he commanded his wife that if the Scot should accost her again, + she should appoint a meeting on a certain day, and, if he were so foolish + as to come, he would buy his pleasure dearly. + </p> + <p> + The good wife, to obey her husband’s will, did as she was told. The poor + amorous Scot, who spent his time in passing the house, soon saw the fair + mercer, and when he had humbly saluted her, he besought her love so + earnestly, and desired that she would listen to his final piteous prayer, + and if she would, never should woman be more loyally served and obeyed if + she would but grant his most humble and reasonable request. + </p> + <p> + The fair mercer, remembering the lesson that her husband had given her, + finding the opportunity propitious, after many subterfuges and excuses, + told the Scot that he could come to her chamber on the following evening, + where he could talk to her more secretly, and she would give him what he + desired. + </p> + <p> + You may guess that she was greatly thanked, and her words listened to with + pleasure and obeyed by her lover, who left his lady feeling more joyous + than ever he had in his life. + </p> + <p> + When the husband returned home, he was told of all the words and deeds of + the Scot, and how he was to come on the morrow to the lady’s chamber. + </p> + <p> + “Let him come,” said the husband. “Should he undertake such a mad business + I will make him, before he leaves, see and confess the evil he has done, + as an example to other daring and mad fools like him.” + </p> + <p> + The evening of the next day drew near,—much to the joy of the + amorous Scot, who wished to see and enjoy the person of his lady;—and + much also to the joy of the good mercer who was desiring a great vengeance + to be taken on the person of the Scot who wished to replace him in the + marriage bed; but not much to the taste of his fair wife, who expected + that her obedience to her husband would lead to a serious fight. + </p> + <p> + All prepared themselves; the mercer put on a big, old, heavy suit of + armour, donned his helmet and gauntlets, and armed himself with a + battle-axe. Like a true champion, he took up his post early, and as he had + no tent in which to await his enemy, placed himself behind a curtain by + the side of the bed, where he was so well-hidden that he could not be + perceived. + </p> + <p> + The lover, sick with desire, knowing the longed-for hour was now at hand, + set out for the house of the mercer, but he did not forget to take his + big, good, strong two-handed sword; and when he was within the house, the + lady went up to her chamber without showing any fear, and he followed her + quietly. And when he came within the room, he asked the lady if she were + alone? To which she replied casually, and with some confusion, that she + was. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me the truth,” said the Scot. “Is not your husband here?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said she. + </p> + <p> + “Well! let him come! By Saint Aignan, if he should come, I would split his + skull to the teeth. By God! if there were three of them I should not fear + them. I should soon master them!” + </p> + <p> + After these wicked words, he drew his big, good sword, and brandished it + three or four times; then laid it on the bed by his side. + </p> + <p> + With that he kissed and cuddled her, and did much more at his leisure and + convenience, without the poor coward by the side of the bed, who was + greatly afraid he should be killed, daring to show himself. + </p> + <p> + Our Scot, after this adventure, took leave of the lady for a while, and + thanked her as he ought for her great courtesy and kindness, and went his + way. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the valiant man of arms knew that the Scot was out of the + house, he came out of his hiding place, so frightened that he could + scarcely speak, and commenced to upbraid his wife for having let the + archer do his pleasure on her. To which she replied that it was his fault, + as he had made her appoint a meeting. + </p> + <p> + “I did not command you,” he said, “to let him do his will and pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + “How could I refuse him,” she replied, “seeing that he had his big sword, + with which he could have killed me?” + </p> + <p> + At that moment the Scot returned, and came up the stairs to the chamber, + and ran in and called out, “What is it?” Whereupon the good man, to save + himself, hid under the bed for greater safety, being more frightened than + ever. + </p> + <p> + The Scot served the lady as he had done before, but kept his sword always + near him. After many long love-games between the Scot and the lady, the + hour came when he must leave, so he said good-night and went away. + </p> + <p> + The poor martyr who was under the bed would scarcely come out, so much did + he fear the return of his adversary,—or rather, I should say, his + companion. At last he took courage, and by the help of his wife was, thank + God, set on his feet, and if he had scolded his wife before he was this + time harder upon her than ever, for she had consented, in spite of his + forbidding her, to dishonour him and herself. + </p> + <p> + “Alas,” said she, “and where is the woman bold enough to oppose a man so + hasty and violent as he was, when you yourself, armed and accoutred and so + valiant,—and to whom he did more wrong than he did to me—did + not dare to attack him, and defend me?” + </p> + <p> + “That is no answer,” he replied. “Unless you had liked, he would never + have attained his purpose. You are a bad and disloyal woman.” + </p> + <p> + “And you,” said she, “are a cowardly, wicked, and most blamable man; for I + am dishonoured since, through obeying you, I gave a rendezvous to the + Scot. Yet you have not the courage to undertake the defence of the wife + who is the guardian of your honour. For know that I would rather have died + than consent to this dishonour, and God knows what grief I feel, and shall + always feel as long as I live, whilst he to whom I looked for help + suffered me to be dishonoured in his presence.” + </p> + <p> + He believed that she would not have allowed the Scot to tumble her if she + had not taken pleasure in it, but she maintained that she was forced and + could not resist, but left the resistance to him and he did not fulfil his + charge. Thus they both wrangled and quarrelled, with many arguments on + both sides. But at any rate, the husband was cuckolded and deceived by the + Scot in the manner you have heard. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0007" id="linklink2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="05pg (132K)" src="images/05pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTH — THE DUEL WITH THE BUCKLE-STRAP. <a + href="#linklinknote-5" name="linklinknoteref-5" id="linklinknoteref-5">5</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>The fifth story relates two judgments of Lord Talbot. How a Frenchman + was taken prisoner (though provided with a safe-conduct) by an + Englishman, who said that buckle-straps were implements of war, and who + was made to arm himself with buckle-straps and nothing else, and meet + the Frenchman, who struck him with a sword in the presence of Talbot. + The other, story is about a man who robbed a church, and who was made to + swear that he would never enter a church again.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Lord Talbot (whom may God pardon) who was, as every one knows, so + victorious as leader of the English, gave in his life two judgments which + were worthy of being related and held in perpetual remembrance, and in + order that the said judgments should be known, I will relate them briefly + in this my first story, though it is the fifth amongst the others. I will + tell it thus. + </p> + <p> + During the time that the cursed and pestilent war prevailed between France + and England, and which has not yet finished, (*) it happened, as was often + the case, that a French soldier was taken prisoner by an Englishman, and, + a ransom having been fixed, he was sent under a safe-conduct, signed by + Lord Talbot, to his captain, that he might procure his ransom and bring it + back to his captor. + </p> + <p> + As he was on his road, he was met by another Englishman, who, seeing he + was a Frenchman, asked him whence he came and whither he was going? The + other told him the truth. + </p> + <p> + “Where is your safe-conduct?” asked the Englishman. + </p> + <p> + “It is not far off,” replied the Frenchman. With that he took the + safe-conduct, which was in a little box hung at his belt, and handed it to + the Englishman, who read it from one end to the other. And, as is + customary, there was written on the safe-conduct, “Forbidden to carry any + implements of warfare.” + </p> + <p> + The Englishman noted this, and saw that there were <i>esguillettes</i> on + the Frenchman’s doublet. (**) He imagined that these straps were real + implements of war, so he said, + </p> + <p> + “I make you my prisoner, because you have broken your safe-conduct.” + </p> + <p> + “By my faith, I have not,” replied the Frenchman, “saving your grace. You + see in what condition I am.” + </p> + <p> + “No! no!” said the Englishman. “By Saint John you have broken your + safe-conduct. Surrender, or I will kill you.” + </p> + <p> + The poor Frenchman, who had only his page with him, and was quite + unprovided with weapons, whilst the other was accompanied by three or four + archers, did the best thing he could, and surrendered. The Englishman led + him to a place near there, and put him in prison. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) It had virtually finished, and the English only retained + the town of Calais when this tale was written (about 1465) + but they had not relinquished their claim to the French + Crown, and hostilities were expected to recommence. + + (**) <i>Esguillettes</i> were small straps or laces, used to + fasten the cuirass to the doublet. +</pre> + <p> + The Frenchman, finding himself thus ill-treated, sent in great haste to + his captain, who when he heard his man’s case, was greatly and + marvellously astonished. Thereupon he wrote a letter to Lord Talbot, and + sent it by a herald, to ask how it was that one of his men had been + arrested by one of Lord Talbot’s men whilst under that general’s + safe-conduct. + </p> + <p> + The said herald, being well instructed as to what he was to say and do, + left his master, and presented the letters to Lord Talbot. He read them, + and caused them to be read also by one of his secretaries before many + knights and squires and others of his followers. + </p> + <p> + Thereupon he flew into a great rage, for he was hot-tempered and + irritable, and brooked not to be disobeyed, and especially in matters of + war; and to question his safe-conduct made him very angry. + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, he caused to be brought before him both the + Frenchman and the Englishman, and told the Frenchman to tell his tale. + </p> + <p> + He told how he had been taken prisoner by one of Lord Talbot’s people, and + put to ransom; + </p> + <p> + “And under your safe-conduct, my lord, I was on my way to my friends to + procure my ransom. I met this gentleman here, who is also one of your + followers, who asked me whither I was going, and if I had a safe-conduct? + I told him, yes, and showed it to him. And when he had read it he told me + that I had broken it, and I replied that I had not, and that he could not + prove it. But he would not listen to me, and I was forced, if I would not + be killed on the spot, to surrender. I know of no cause why he should have + detained me, and I ask justice of you.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Talbot, when he had heard the Frenchman, was not well content, + nevertheless when the latter had finished, my Lord turned to the + Englishman and asked, + </p> + <p> + “What have you to reply to this?” + </p> + <p> + “My lord,” said he, “it is quite true, as he has said, that I met him and + would see his safe-conduct, which when I had read from end to end, I soon + perceived that he had broken and violated; otherwise I should never have + arrested him.” + </p> + <p> + “How had he broken it?” asked Lord Talbot. “Tell me quickly!” + </p> + <p> + “My Lord, because in his safe-conduct he is forbidden all implements of + war, and he had, and has still, real implements of war; that is to say he + has on his doublet, buckle-straps, which are real implements of war, for + without them a man cannot be armed.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Lord Talbot, “and so buckle-straps are implements of war are + they? Do you know of any other way in which he had broken his + safe-conduct?” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, my lord, I do not,” replied the Englishman. + </p> + <p> + “What, you villain!” said Lord Talbot. “Have you stopped a gentleman under + my safe-conduct for his buckle-straps? By St. George, I will show you + whether they are implements of war.” + </p> + <p> + Then, hot with anger and indignation, he went up to the Frenchman, and + tore from his doublet the two straps, and gave them to the Englishman; + then he put a sword in the Frenchman’s hand, and drawing his own good + sword out of the sheath, said to the Englishman, + </p> + <p> + “Defend yourself with that implement of war, as you call it, if you know + how!” + </p> + <p> + Then he said to the Frenchman, + </p> + <p> + “Strike that villain who arrested you without cause or reason, and we + shall see how he can defend himself with this implement of war. If you + spare him, by St. George I will strike you.” + </p> + <p> + Thus the Frenchman, whether he would or not, was obliged to strike at the + Englishman with the sword, and the poor Englishman protected himself as + best he could, and ran about the room, with Talbot after him, who made the + Frenchman keep striking the other, and cried out; + </p> + <p> + “Defend yourself, villain, with your implement of war!” In truth, the + Englishman was so well beaten that he was nearly dead, and cried for mercy + to Talbot and the Frenchman. The latter was released from his ransom by + Lord Talbot, and his horse, harness, and all his baggage, were given back + to him. + </p> + <p> + Such was the first judgment of Lord Talbot; there remains to be given an + account of the other, which was thus. + </p> + <p> + He learned that one of his soldiers had robbed a church of the pyx in + which is placed the Corpus Domini, and sold it for ready money—I + know not for how much, but the pyx was big and fine, and beautifully + enamelled. + </p> + <p> + Lord Talbot, who though he was very brutal and wicked in war, had always + great reverence for the Church, and would never allow a monastery or + church to be set on fire or robbed, heard of this, and he was very severe + on those who broke his regulations. + </p> + <p> + So he caused to be brought before him the man who had stolen the pyx from + the church; and when he came, God knows what a greeting he had. Talbot + would have killed him, if those around had not begged that his life might + be saved. Nevertheless, as he would punish him, he said. + </p> + <p> + “Rascal traitor! why have you dared to rob a church in spite of my + orders?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my lord,” said the poor thief, “for God’s sake have mercy upon me; I + will never do it again.” + </p> + <p> + “Come here, villain,” said Talbot; and the other came up about as + willingly as though he were going to the gallows. And the said Lord Talbot + rushed at him, and with his fist, which was both large and heavy, struck + him on the head, and cried. + </p> + <p> + “Ha! you thief! have you robbed a church?” + </p> + <p> + And the other cried, + </p> + <p> + “Mercy my lord! I will never do it again.” + </p> + <p> + “Will you do it again?” + </p> + <p> + “No, my lord!” + </p> + <p> + “Swear then that you will never again enter a church of any kind. Swear, + villain!” + </p> + <p> + “Very good, my lord,” said the other. + </p> + <p> + Then Talbot made the thief swear that he would never set foot in a church + again, which made all who were present and who heard it, laugh, though + they pitied the thief because Lord Talbot had forbidden him the church for + ever, and made him swear never to enter it. Yet we may believe that he did + it with a good motive and intention. Thus you have heard the two judgments + of Lord Talbot, which were such as I have related to you. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0008" id="linklink2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="06pg (131K)" src="images/06pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTH — THE DRUNKARD IN PARADISE. <a href="#linklinknote-6" name="linklinknoteref-6" id="linklinknoteref-6">6</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de Lannoy + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>The sixth story is of a drunkard, who would confess to the Prior of + the Augustines at the Hague, and after his confession said that he was + then in a holy state and would die; and believed that his head was cut + off and that he was dead, and was carried away by his companions who + said they were going to bury him.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the city of The Hague in Holland, as the prior of the Augustine + Monastery was one day saying his prayers on the lawn near the chapel of + St. Antony, he was accosted by a great, big Dutchman who was exceedingly + drunk, and who lived in a village called Schevingen, about two leagues + from there. + </p> + <p> + The prior, who saw him coming from afar, guessed his condition by his + heavy and uncertain step, and when they met, the drunkard saluted the + prior, who returned the salute, and passed on reading his prayers, + proposing neither to stop nor question him. + </p> + <p> + The drunkard, being half beside himself, turned and pursued the prior, and + demanded to be confessed. + </p> + <p> + “Confession!” said the prior. “Go away! Go away! You have confessed + already.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir,” replied the drunkard, “for God’s sake confess me. At present, + I remember all my sins, and am most contrite.” + </p> + <p> + The prior, displeased to be interrupted by a drunkard, replied. + </p> + <p> + “Go your ways; you have no need of confession, for you are in a very + comfortable case as it is.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no,” said the drunkard, “as sure as death you shall confess me, + master Curé, for I am most devout,” and he seized him by the sleeve, and + would have stopped him. + </p> + <p> + The priest would not listen to him, and made wonderful efforts to escape, + but it was no good, for the other was obstinate in his desire to confess, + which the priest would not hear. + </p> + <p> + The devotion of the drunkard increased more and more, and when he saw that + the priest still refused to hear his sins, he put his hand on his big + knife and drew it from its sheath, and told the priest he would kill him, + if he did not listen to his confession. + </p> + <p> + The priest, being afraid of a knife in such dangerous hands, did not know + what to do, so he asked the other, + </p> + <p> + “What is is you want?” + </p> + <p> + “I wish to confess,” said he. + </p> + <p> + “Very well; I will hear you,” said the priest. “Come here.” + </p> + <p> + Our drunkard,—being more tipsy than a thrush in a vineyard,—began, + so please you, his devout confession,—over which I pass, for the + priest never revealed it, but you may guess it was both novel and curious. + </p> + <p> + The priest cut short the wearisome utterances of the drunkard, and gave + him absolution, and, to get rid of him, said; + </p> + <p> + “Go away now; you have made a good confession.” + </p> + <p> + “Say you so, sir?” he replied. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly,” said the priest, “it was a very good confession. Go, and sin + no more!” + </p> + <p> + “Then, since I have well confessed and received absolution, if I were to + die now, should I go to paradise?” asked the drunkard. + </p> + <p> + “Straight! Straight!” replied the priest. “There can be no doubt about + it.” + </p> + <p> + “Since that is so,” said the drunkard, “and I am now in a holy state, I + would like to die at once, in order that I may go to heaven.” + </p> + <p> + With that he took and gave his knife to the priest, begging of him to cut + off his head, in order that he might go to paradise. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no!” said the priest, much astonished. “It is not my business to do + that—you must go to heaven by some other means.” + </p> + <p> + “No,” replied the drunkard, “I wish to go there now, and to die here by + your hands. Come, and kill me.” + </p> + <p> + “I will not do that,” said the prior. “A priest must not kill any one.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall I swear; and if you do not at once despatch me and send me to + heaven I will kill you with my own hands,” and at these words he + brandished his big knife before the eyes of the priest, who was terrified + and alarmed. + </p> + <p> + At last, having thought the matter over,—that he might get rid of + this drunkard, who was becoming more and more aggressive, and perchance + might have taken his life, he seized the knife, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Well! since you wish to die by my hands in order that you may go to + paradise,—kneel down before me.” + </p> + <p> + The words were hardly uttered before the drunkard fell flat, and with some + trouble raised himself to his knees, and with his hands joined together, + awaited the blow of the sword which was to kill him. + </p> + <p> + The priest gave the drunkard a heavy blew with the back of the knife, + which felled him to the ground, where he lay, and would not get up, + believing himself to be in paradise. + </p> + <p> + Then the priest left, not forgetting for his own safety to take the knife + with him, and ere he had gone far he met a waggon full of people some of + whom had been along with the drunkard that day, to whom he recounted all + the story—begging that they would raise him and convey him home; he + also gave them the knife. + </p> + <p> + They promised to take charge of him, and the priest went away. They had + hardly started on their way, when they perceived the good toper, lying as + though dead, with his face to the ground; and when they were nigh to him, + they all with one voice shouted his name,—but, shout as they would, + he made no reply. Then they cried out again, but it was no use. + </p> + <p> + Then some of them descended from the waggon, and they took him by the + head, and the feet, and the legs, and raised him from the ground, and so + shook him that he opened his eyes and said, + </p> + <p> + “Leave me alone! Leave me alone! I am dead!” + </p> + <p> + “No, you are not,” said his companions. “You must come along with us.” + </p> + <p> + “I will not,” said the drunkard. “Where should I go? I am dead, and + already in heaven.” + </p> + <p> + “You must come,” said the others. “We will get some drink.” + </p> + <p> + “Drink?” said the other. “I shall never drink again; I am dead;” and for + all that his comrades could say or do, they could not get it out of his + head but that he was dead. + </p> + <p> + The dispute lasted long, and they could not persuade the drunkard to + accompany them; for to all that they said he always replied, “I am dead”. + </p> + <p> + At last one of them bethought himself, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Then since you are dead, you must not lie here and be buried like a beast + of the field. Come! come along with us, and we will carry you in our + waggon to the grave-yard of our town as befits a Christian. Otherwise you + will not go to heaven.” + </p> + <p> + When the drunkard heard that he must be buried in order that he might go + to heaven, he was satisfied to obey, so he was soon tucked up in the + waggon, where he was quickly asleep. The waggon was drawn by good cattle, + and they were speedily at Schevingen, where the good drunkard was put down + in front of his house. His wife and servants were called, and the body + given to them, for he slept so soundly that he was carried from the waggon + to the house and put in his bed without ever waking, and being laid + between the sheets, at last woke up two days later. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0009" id="linklinkimage-0009"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/07.jpg" width="100%" alt="07.jpg" + title=" The Waggoner in The Bear. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0009" id="linklink2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="07pg (136K)" src="images/07pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTH — THE WAGGONER IN THE BEAR. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a goldsmith of Paris who made a waggoner sleep with him and his + wife, and how the waggoner dallied with her from behind, which the + goldsmith perceived and discovered, and of the words which he spake to + the waggoner.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A goldsmith of Paris, once, in order to complete some of his wares in time + for the fair of Lendit, laid in a large stock of willow charcoal. It + happened one day amongst others, that the waggoner who delivered this + charcoal, knowing that the goldsmith was in great haste, brought two + waggons more than he had on any previous day, but hardly had he entered + Paris with the last load than the city gates were shut on his heels. + Nevertheless, he was well received by the goldsmith, and after the + charcoal was unloaded, and the horses stabled, they all supped at their + leisure, and made great cheer, and drank heavily. Just as the meal + finished the clock struck midnight, which astonished them greatly, so + quickly had the time passed at supper. + </p> + <p> + Each one thanked God, and being heavy-eyed, only asked to go to bed, but + as it was so late, the goldsmith detained the waggoner, fearing that he + might meet the watch, who would have put him into the Châtelet had they + found him at that hour of the night. + </p> + <p> + At that time the goldsmith had many persons working for him, and he was + obliged to make the waggoner lie with him and his wife, and, not being of + a suspicions nature, he made his wife lie between him and the waggoner. + </p> + <p> + He had great trouble to arrange this, for the good waggoner refused his + hospitality, and would rather have slept in the barn or stable, but he was + obliged to obey the goldsmith. And after he had undressed, he got into + bed, in which already were the goldsmith and his wife, as I have already + said. + </p> + <p> + The wife feeling the waggoner approach her, moved nearer her husband, both + on account of the cold and the smallness of the bed, and, instead of a + pillow, placed her head upon her husband’s breast, whilst her backside + rested on the waggoner’s knees. + </p> + <p> + Our goldsmith soon went to sleep, and his wife pretended to also, and the + waggoner, being tired from his work, did the same. But as the stallion + grows hot as soon as he approaches the mare, so did this stallion lift up + his head on feeling so near to him the aforesaid woman. + </p> + <p> + It was not within the power of the waggoner to refrain from attacking her + closely; and this lasted for some time without the woman waking, or at + least pretending to wake. Nor would the husband have awaked, had it not + been that the head of his wife reclined on his breast, and owing to the + assault of this stallion, gave him such a bump that he quickly woke. + </p> + <p> + He thought at first that his wife was dreaming, but as her dream + continued, and he heard the waggoner moving about and breathing hard, he + gently put down his hand, and found what ravage the stallion of the + waggoner was making in his warren;—at which, as he loved his wife, + he was not well content. He soon made the waggoner with draw, and said to + him, + </p> + <p> + “What are you doing, you wicked rascal? You must be mad to attack my wife + in that way. Don’t do it again! Morbleu! I declare to you that if she had + woke just now when your machine was pushing her, I don’t know what she + would have done; but I feel certain, as I know her well, that she would + have scratched your face, and torn out your eyes with her nails. You don’t + know what she will do when she loses her temper, and there is nothing in + the world which puts her out more. Take it away, I beg, for your own + sake.” + </p> + <p> + The waggoner, in a few words, declared that it was unintentional, and, as + day was breaking, he rose and took his leave and went away with his cart. + </p> + <p> + You may fancy that the good woman on whom the waggoner made this attempt + was displeased in another way than her husband fancied; and afterwards it + was said that the waggoner met her in the proper way: but I would not + believe it or credit the report. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0010" id="linklink2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="08pg (134K)" src="images/08pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTH — TIT FOR TAT. <a href="#linklinknote-8" name="linklinknoteref-8" id="linklinknoteref-8">8</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de la Roche + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a youth of Picardy who lived at Brussels, and made his master’s + daughter pregnant, and for that cause left and came back to Picardy to + be married. And soon after his departure the girl’s mother perceived the + condition of her daughter, and the girl confessed in what state she was; + so her mother sent her to the Picardian to tell him that he must undo + that which he had done. And how his new bride refused then to sleep with + him, and of the story she told him, whereupon he immediately left her + and returned to his first love, and married her.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the city of Brussels, where a good many adventures have happened in our + time, there lived not long ago a young man of Picardy, who served his + master well and faithfully for a long period. And amongst other services + which he did the said master was this; that by his civil speech, bearing, + and courtesy he so gained the graces of his master’s daughter, that he lay + with her, and owing to his meritorious actions she became pregnant. + </p> + <p> + The youth, knowing the lady was in that condition, was not such a fool as + to wait until his master should perceive and know it. So he quickly asked + leave to absent himself for a few days,—albeit he had no intention + to return—pretending that he must go to Picardy to see his father + and mother, and some others of his relations. + </p> + <p> + Then he took farewell of his master and mistress, and had a most piteous + leave-taking with the daughter; to whom he promised quickly to return,—which + he did not, and for good cause. + </p> + <p> + When he was in Picardy, at the house of his father, his master’s daughter + grew so big with child that her sad condition could no longer be + concealed; amongst others, her worthy mother, who was experienced in such + matters, was the first to notice it. She took her daughter on one side, + and asked her how she came to be in that condition, and who was the cause + of it. The girl had to be much pressed and scolded before she would say + anything, but at last was forced to confess her sad condition, and own + that it was the Picardian, who, a short while before, had been servant to + her father, who had seduced her, and left her in that pitiful case. + </p> + <p> + Her mother was furious, and abused her till she could say no more, which + the poor girl bore so patiently and without saying a word, that it was + enough to excuse her for letting herself be put in the family-way by the + Picardian. + </p> + <p> + But alas! her patient endurance had no effect upon her mother, who said; + </p> + <p> + “Go away! go away! disgraceful hussy! and do your best to find the man who + made you pregnant, and tell him to undo that which he has done! Never come + back to me till he has undone the wrong he has done you.” + </p> + <p> + The poor girl, who was in the condition you have heard, was crushed and + overcome by the wrath of her cruel mother, and set out in search of the + young man who had ruined her; and you may well imagine, had to endure much + trouble and pain before she could hear any news of him. + </p> + <p> + But at last, as God so willed it, after much wandering about through + Picardy, she came, one Sunday, to a large village in the county of Artois, + and she came most opportunely, for on that day her friend, the Picardian + who had deceived her, was to be married, at which she was very joyful. And + she cared so little about obeying her mother, that, big as she was, she + pressed amongst the crowd, and when she saw her lover, she saluted him. + He, when he saw her, blushed, and returned her salutation, and said to + her; + </p> + <p> + “You are very welcome! What brings you here at this time, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “My mother,” she replied, “sent me to you, and God knows that you have + caused me much upbraiding. She charged and commanded me that I should tell + you that you must undo that which you have done, or, if you do not, I am + never to go back to her.” + </p> + <p> + The other, when he heard this, to get rid of her as soon as he could, + spoke as follows. + </p> + <p> + “My dear, I will willingly do that which you ask and your mother requires + me to do, for it is very reasonable, but at this moment I cannot be seen + talking to you. I beg of you to have patience for to-day, and to-morrow I + will attend to your request.” + </p> + <p> + With that she was content, and then he caused her to be taken and put in a + fair chamber, and commanded that she should be well-treated, as she + deserved to be, after the great trouble and difficulty she had had in + seeking him out. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the bride had kept her eyes open, and when she saw + her husband talking to a woman big with child, she had misgivings, and was + by no means satisfied, but much troubled and vexed in mind. + </p> + <p> + She nursed her wrath, and said nothing until her husband came to bed. And + when he would have cuddled and kissed her, and done his proper duty as a + husband, and so earned his “caudle”, (*) she turned herself first on one + side and then on the other, so that he could not attain his purpose, at + which he was greatly astonished and angry, and said to her, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) It was the custom in the Middle Ages to bring in the + middle of the wedding night, a caudle of hot milk, soup, or + spiced wine to the married couple. +</pre> + <p> + “Why do you do that, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “I have good cause,” she replied, “for I see from your acts that you do + not care for me. There are many others you like better than me.” + </p> + <p> + “By my faith,” said he, “there is no woman in the world I love better than + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she said, “did I not see you after dinner holding discourse for a + long time with a woman who was in the room! I saw you only too plainly, + and you cannot excuse yourself.” + </p> + <p> + “By our Lady,” he replied, “you have no cause to be jealous about her,” + and with that he told her that it was the daughter of his master at + Brussels, and how he had lain with her and made her pregnant, and on that + account he had left the place; and how also after his departure, she + became so big with child that it was perceived, and then she had confessed + to her mother who had seduced her, and her mother had sent her to him that + he might undo that which he had done, or else she must never return home. + </p> + <p> + When the young man had finished his story, his wife who had been struck by + one portion of it, said; + </p> + <p> + “What? Do you say that she told her mother you had slept with her?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” he said; “she made it all known to her.” + </p> + <p> + “On my word!” she replied, “then she proved herself very stupid. The + waggoner at our house slept with me more than forty nights, but you don’t + suppose that I breathed a word of that to my mother. I took good care to + say nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” quoth he, “the devil takes care that the gibbet is not cheated. + (**) Go back to your waggoner if you like; for I care nothing for you.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (**) In other words, we are punished for our ill-deeds. +</pre> + <p> + Thereupon he arose and went to the woman he had seduced, and left the + other one; and when the morning came and this news was noised abroad, God + knows that it amused many and displeased many others, especially the + father and mother of the bride. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0010" id="linklinkimage-0010"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/09.jpg" width="100%" alt="09.jpg" + title=" The Husband Pandar to his Own Wife " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0011" id="linklink2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="09pg (130K)" src="images/09pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINTH — THE HUSBAND PANDAR TO HIS OWN WIFE. <a + href="#linklinknote-9" name="linklinknoteref-9" id="linklinknoteref-9">9</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight of Burgundy, who was marvellously amorous of one of his + wife’s waiting women, and thinking to sleep with her, slept with his + wife who was in the bed of the said tire-woman. And how he caused, by + his order, another knight, his neighbour to sleep with the said woman, + believing that it was really the tirewoman—and afterwards he was + not well pleased, albeit that the lady knew nothing, and was not aware, + I believe, that she had had to do with aught other than her own husband.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In order to properly continue these stories, the incidents of which happen + in divers places and under various circumstances, there should not be + omitted the tale of a gentle knight of Burgundy, who lived in a castle of + his own that was fair and strong, and well provided with retainers and + artillery, as his condition required. + </p> + <p> + He fell in love with a fair damsel of his household, who was chief + tire-woman to his wife, and his great affection for her took such hold + upon him that he could not be happy without her, and was always conversing + with her and beseeching her, and, in short, life seemed no good without + her, so filled with love of her was he. + </p> + <p> + The girl, being chaste and prudent, wished to keep her honour, which she + valued as she did her own soul, and would not betray the duty she owed to + her mistress, and therefore she lent no ear to her master when he + importuned her. And whenever he spoke to her, God knows what a rebuff he + met, and how she remonstrated with him as to his boldness and ill-conduct. + Moreover, she told him that if he continued she would inform her mistress. + </p> + <p> + But, in spite of her threats, he would not abandon the enterprise, but + pursued her more and more, so that at last the girl was forced to tell her + mistress. + </p> + <p> + The lady being informed of her lord’s love affair, though she did not show + it, was not well pleased; but she devised a plan, which was this. + </p> + <p> + She charged the girl that the next time the knight solicited her, that she + should lay aside all reserve, and inform him that on the following night + she would expect him in her chamber and in her bed; “And if he should + accept the rendezvous,” added the lady; “I will take your place; and leave + the rest to me.” + </p> + <p> + The girl was pleased to obey her mistress, as was her duty, and promised + she would do as she was bid. + </p> + <p> + It was not long before my lord again returned to the charge, and prayed + her more warmly than before, saying that if she did not grant his prayer, + he would rather die than live longer in this hopeless passion. + </p> + <p> + What need is there of a long story? The girl, being thoroughly + well-instructed by her mistress, appointed an hour at which he should come + to her the next night, at which he was so well-pleased that his heart + leapt for joy, and he promised himself that he would not fail to be there. + </p> + <p> + The desired day arrived, but in the evening, a gentle knight, a neighbour + of my lord and his great friend, came to see him, for whom my lord made, + as he well knew how, great cheer; as did my lady also, and the rest of the + household were not behind-hand, knowing that to be the good pleasure of my + lord and my lady. + </p> + <p> + After much feasting and a supper and a banquet, it was time to retire to + rest, and having said good-night to the lady and her women, the two + knights began to talk over various matters, and, amongst other things, the + visitor asked my lord if there were any pretty women with shoulder-knots + in the village, (*) for the weather being fine, and having made good + cheer, he had a desire for a woman. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) In some towns of the south of France, in the Middle + Ages, the courtesans used to wear a knot of coloured ribbon + on the shoulder. +</pre> + <p> + My lord, on account of the great love he bore his friend, would hide + nothing from him, and told him how he had that night agreed to sleep with + the tire-woman; and that he might do his friend pleasure, when he had been + with her a certain time, he would, he said, rise gently, and go away, and + let the visitor do the rest. + </p> + <p> + The visitor thanked his host, and God knows that the hour seemed long in + coming. At last the host took leave of his guest, and went to his room, as + was his custom, to undress. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that whilst the knights were talking, my lady went to + the bed in which my lord expected to find the tiring-maid, and there she + awaited whatever God might be pleased to send her. + </p> + <p> + My lord was a long time undressing, to give time to his wife to go to + sleep. He then dismissed his valet, and in his long dressing-gown went to + where his lady awaited him,—he thinking to find some-one else,—and + silently undressed and got into bed. + </p> + <p> + And as the candle was put out, and the lady uttered no word, he believed + he was with the woman. Hardly had he got into bed before he began to + perform his duty, and so well did he acquit himself, that three, even + four, times did not content him; whereat his wife felt great pleasure, and + thinking that that was all, fell asleep. + </p> + <p> + My lord, now much lighter than when he came, seeing that the lady slept, + and remembering his promise, rose quietly and went to his friend, who was + awaiting orders to go into action, and told him to take his place, but + that he must not speak a word, and must come away when he had done all + that he wished. + </p> + <p> + The other, as wide-awake as a rat, and straining at the leash like a + greyhound,—went, and lay down by the lady without her knowing of it. + And though he felt assured that my lord had already worked well, and he + was in haste, he did better, at which my lady was in no small degree + astonished, and after this amusement—which was not distasteful to + her—she again fell asleep. + </p> + <p> + Then the good knight left her, and returned to my lord, who again resumed + his place by my lady’s side as before, and made a fresh attack upon her—so + well did the exercise please him. + </p> + <p> + Thus the hours passed,—either in sleeping or doing something else,—until + day broke; and as he turned round in bed, expecting to behold the + tire-woman, he saw and knew that it was his wife, who thereupon said to + him. + </p> + <p> + “Are you not a recreant, cowardly, and wicked whoremonger? You thought to + have had my tire-woman, and it is upon me that you have so many times + essayed your unbridled and measureless lust. Thank God you have been + deceived, for no one else shall ever have that which belongs to me.” + </p> + <p> + The good knight was both astonished and angry, and no wonder. And when he + spoke at last, he said. + </p> + <p> + “My dear, I cannot hide from you my folly, and I greatly grieve ever to + have undertaken such an enterprise. I beg of you to be satisfied with what + you have done, and never mention it for never in all my life shall it + occur again. That I promise you on my honour; and that you may never have + occasion to be reminded of it, I will send away the woman who has played + this trick upon me.” + </p> + <p> + The lady, who was more satisfied with this adventure than her woman, and + seeing how contrite her husband was, allowed herself to be gained-over, + but not without making some remonstrances and scoldings. + </p> + <p> + In the end, all was arranged satisfactorily, but the knight, who had a + flea in his ear, as soon as he rose, went to his companion, to whom he + related the adventure at full length, and demanded from him two promises; + the first was that he should strictly promise to say nothing of the + matter, and the second that he should never meet his wife again. + </p> + <p> + The other, who was much vexed at this unfortunate affair, comforted the + knight as best he could, and promised to perform his very reasonable + requests; then mounted his horse and rode off. The tire-woman, who was not + to blame for the <i>contretemps</i>, bore the punishment however, and was + sent away. The knight and the lady lived long together without her ever + being aware that she had had to do with a strange knight. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0012" id="linklink2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="10pg (138K)" src="images/10pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE TENTH — THE EEL PASTIES. <a href="#linklinknote-10" name="linklinknoteref-10" id="linklinknoteref-10">10</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de la Roche + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight of England, who, after he was married, wished his mignon + to procure him some pretty girls, as he did before; which the mignon + would not do, saying that one wife sufficed; but the said knight brought + him back to obedience by causing eel pasties to be always served to him, + both at dinner and at supper.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Many wonderful and curious adventures have occurred in England, though + their recital would be out of place amongst these tales. Nevertheless, the + present story is appropriate to be told here to increase the number of + these tales, and is of a great lord of the kingdom of England, who was + very rich and powerful, and who, amongst all his servitors, had especial + trust, confidence, and affection in a young gentleman of his household, + and that for various reasons. And because of his loyalty, diligence, + cunning, and prudence, and other good qualities he found in him, he hid + from him nothing concerning his love-affairs. + </p> + <p> + As time went on, the said young gentleman, by his cleverness, grew so much + in his master’s favour, that he not only knew his master’s love-affairs, + but acted as emissary and go-between on every occasion, as long as his + master was unmarried. + </p> + <p> + But a certain time after that, it happened that by the advice of his + relatives, friends, and well-wishers, my lord was married to a beautiful, + noble, good, and rich lady, much to the joy of many persons; and amongst + other our <i>mignon</i> was not the least joyful, as he said to himself + that the marriage would be to his master’s welfare and honour, and would + cause him he hoped to cease from those pleasures of love which he had + hitherto practised. + </p> + <p> + One day he told the lord how glad he was that he had married a fair and + good lady, for now he would not need to have women sought for him as + before. To which my lord replied that nevertheless he did not intend to + abandon all his love-affairs, and although he was married would sometimes + employ the young man’s services. + </p> + <p> + The youth was not pleased to hear this, and replied that such amours + should cease now that his love was shared by a lady who excelled all + others in beauty, prudence, and goodness. + </p> + <p> + “Do as you please, my lord,” said he, “but, for my part, I will never + carry a message to any woman if it is to prejudice my mistress.” + </p> + <p> + “I know not what you mean by prejudice,” said his master, “but you must + prepare to go to such and such ladies. For I would have you know that your + duties will be as they were before.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, my lord,” said the youth, “it seems that you take a pleasure in + abusing women, which is not right; for you know well that all those you + have named are not to be compared in beauty or other respects to my lady, + to whom you are offering a deadly insult if she should ever hear of your + misconduct. And what is more, you cannot be ignorant that in so doing you + damn your own soul.” + </p> + <p> + “Cease your preaching,” said my lord, “and do as I command.” + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me, my lord,” said the youth. “I would rather die than, through my + means, trouble should arise between you and my lady; and I beg of you to + be satisfied with me as I am, for certainly I will no more act as I once + used.” + </p> + <p> + My lord, who saw how obstinate the young man was, pressed him no more at + that time. But three or four days after that, without alluding to the + conversation they had had, he demanded of the young man, amongst other + things, what dish he preferred, and he replied that no dish pleased him so + much as eel pasties. + </p> + <p> + “By St. John, it is a good dish,” said his master; “you have not chosen + badly.” + </p> + <p> + That being said, my lord retired, and caused to be sent to him his + major-domo, whom he charged by his obedience that he should serve to the + young man nothing but eel pasties, whatsoever he might say or do; and the + major-domo promised to perform his commands, which he did, for on the same + day, as the said youth was seated at table in his chamber, his servant + brought unto him many fair and large eel pasties which had been delivered + to him from the kitchen,—at which he was pleased, and ate his fill. + </p> + <p> + On the morrow it was the same, and the five or six following days he was + brought like pasties, of which he was already weary. So the youth asked of + his servants why they brought him nothing but these pasties? + </p> + <p> + “By my faith, sir,” they replied, “they will give us nothing else. We see + very well that they send to the hall and elsewhere, other meats; but for + you there is nothing but pasties.” + </p> + <p> + The young man, being wise and prudent, and caring little for his stomach, + made no complaint, and several days passed; during which he was still + served with these everlasting pies, at which he was not best pleased. + </p> + <p> + One day he determined to go and dine with the stewards, where he was + served as before with eel pasties. And when he saw that, he could not help + asking why they served him differently to the others. + </p> + <p> + “God’s death!” quoth he, “I am so stuffed that I can eat no more. It seems + to me that I see nothing but eel pies. Let me tell you there is no sense + in it,—you carry the joke too far. For more than a month you have + played this trick upon me. I am so worn-out that I have neither health nor + strength. I do not like to be treated in this manner.” + </p> + <p> + The stewards told him that they only did as their master had bidden them, + and that it was not their own doing. The young man, wearied of these pies, + determined to complain to my lord, and ask him why he had caused the eel + pies to be always served, and forbidden the cooks to supply any other + dish. + </p> + <p> + In reply, my lord said unto him, “Did you not tell me that eel pie was the + dish that you most liked in all the world?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John, yes, my lord,” said the youth. + </p> + <p> + “Then why do you complain now,” said my lord, “since I cause you to be + served with that which you like?” + </p> + <p> + “I like them,” replied the young man, “in moderation. I like exceedingly + to have eel pies once, or twice, or three times, or now and then, and + there is no dish I love better. But to eat it always, and nothing else + beside,—by Our Lady I will not. Any man would be sick and weary. My + stomach is so sick of eel pasties, that the moment I smell them I have + already dined. For God’s sake, my lord, command that I be given some other + food that I may recover my appetite; otherwise I am a dead man.” “Ah!” + said my lord, “Yet it seems that you do not think I shall be a dead man if + I content myself with the charms of my wife. By my soul, you may believe + that I am as weary of them as you are of the pasties, and would as + willingly have a change,—though there is none I love so much—as + you desire another dish, though you like pasties best. In short, you shall + eat no other food until you consent to serve me as you did before, and + bring me a variety of women,—even as you would have a variety of + dishes.” + </p> + <p> + The young man, when he heard this subtle comparison, was confused, and + promised his master that he would do all that was desired, if he could but + be quit of his pasties, and would carry messages and conduct intrigues as + before. And from that time forth my lord, to spare my lady, and by the + good help of his <i>mignon</i>, passed his time with fair and honest + damsels, and the young man was relieved of his eel pasties, and restored + to his old office. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0013" id="linklink2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="11pg (127K)" src="images/11pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE ELEVENTH — A SACRIFICE TO THE DEVIL. <a + href="#linklinknote-11" name="linklinknoteref-11" id="linklinknoteref-11">11</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a jealous rogue, who after many offerings made to divers saints to + curé him of his jealousy, offered a candle to the devil who is usually + painted under the feet of St. Michael; and of the dream that he had and + what happened to him when he awoke.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A cowardly, jealous old hunks (I will not say that he was a cuckold) knew + not to whom to have recourse to be cured of his jealous grief and misery. + To-day he would make one pilgrimage, and to-morrow another, and often + would send his servants to perform his devotions and make offerings whilst + he was seated in his house to look after his wife, who passed her time + miserably with the most cursed husband and suspicious grumbler that ever + woman married. + </p> + <p> + One day, as he thought of the many offerings that he had made or was to + make to the various saints in heaven and amongst others to St. Michael, he + bethought him that he would make one to the figure that is under the feet + of the said St. Michael. + </p> + <p> + With that he commanded one of his servants to light and bring a large wax + candle, and offer it on his behalf. Soon it was reported to him that his + orders had been obeyed. + </p> + <p> + “Thus,” said he to himself, “I shall see if God or the devil can cure me,” + and in his usual ill-temper he went to bed with his good and honest wife, + and perhaps because he had so many fancies and whims in his head that + nature was restrained, she lay in peace. + </p> + <p> + In fact he slept soundly, and when he was in the depth of his sleep, he to + whom the candle had that day been offered, appeared unto him in a vision, + and thanked him for his offering, declaring that such a sacrifice had + never before been made to him. Moreover, he told the man that he had not + lost his labour, and should obtain his request, and whilst the other lay + still in deep sleep, it seemed to him that a ring was placed on his + finger, and he was told that whilst that ring was on his finger he should + never be jealous or have any cause for jealousy. + </p> + <p> + After the vision had vanished, our jealous hunks awoke, and expected to + find on his finger the said ring, and found that one of his fingers was in + the backside of his wife, at which both he and she were much astonished. + </p> + <p> + But of the rest of the life of this jealous fool, and of his business and + condition, this story is silent. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0011" id="linklinkimage-0011"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/12.jpg" width="100%" alt="12.jpg" + title=" Story the Twelfth -- The Calf. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0014" id="linklink2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="12pg (123K)" src="images/12pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWELFTH — THE CALF. <a href="#linklinknote-12" name="linklinknoteref-12" id="linklinknoteref-12">12</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de la Roche + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a Dutchman, who at all hours of the day and night ceased not to + dally with his wife in love sports; and how it chanced that he laid her + down, as they went through a wood, under a great tree in which was a + labourer who had lost his calf. And as he was enumerating the charms of + his wife, and naming all the pretty things he could see, the labourer + asked him if he could not see the calf he sought, to which the Dutchman + replied that he thought he could see a tail.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the borders of Holland there formerly lived a foolish fellow, who + determined to do the worst thing he could—that is, get married. And + so entranced was he with the joys of wedlock, that although it was winter, + he was so heated that the night—which at that season was nine or ten + hours—was not sufficiently long to enable him to appease the ardent + desires which he felt. + </p> + <p> + Wherever he met his wife he put her on her back; whether it was in the + chamber, or in the stable, or any other place, he always attacked her. And + this did not last only one or two months, but longer than I care to tell, + for it would not be convenient that many women should hear of the zeal of + this insatiable worker. What more shall I say? He performed so often that + his memory has never been forgotten, or will be, in that country. And in + truth the woman who formerly complained to the Bailli of Amiens had not + such good cause as this man’s wife, but, notwithstanding that she could + often have dispensed with this pleasant task she was always obedient to + her husband, and never restive under the spur. + </p> + <p> + It chanced one day, after dinner, when the weather was very fine, and the + sun shot its rays over the flower-embroidered earth, that the fancy came + to this man and his wife that they two would go alone to the woods, and + they started on their road. + </p> + <p> + Now, in order that you may learn my story, let me tell you that exactly at + the same time as these good folk went forth to play in the wood, it + chanced that a labourer had lost his calf, which he had put to graze in a + field at the edge of the wood; but when he came to search for his calf he + could not find it, at which he was sad at heart. + </p> + <p> + So he set out to search for the said calf both in the wood and in the + fields, and the places round about, to gather news of it. + </p> + <p> + He bethought him that perchance it might have wandered into some thicket + to graze, or to some grassy ditch which it would not leave till it had + filled its belly; and to the end that he might the better see, without + running hither and thither, whether his surmise was right, he chose the + highest and thickest tree that he could find, and climbed into it, and + when he had climbed to the top of his tree, from whence he could see all + the adjacent fields and wood, he was sure that he was half-way towards + finding his calf. + </p> + <p> + Whilst the honest fellow was casting his eyes on all sides to find his + calf, there came through the wood our man and his wife, singing, playing, + and rejoicing, as light hearts will do in a pleasant place. Nor was it + wonderful that the desire came to him to tumble his wife in such a + pleasant and suitable place, and looking now to the right now to the left + for a spot where he might conveniently take his pleasure, he saw the big + tree in which was the labourer—though he knew it not—and under + that tree he prepared to accomplish his pleasant purposes. + </p> + <p> + And when he came to that place, his desires soon inflamed him, and he + waited not to begin his work, but attacked his wife and threw her on the + ground, for at that time he was very merry and his wife also. + </p> + <p> + He would fain see her both before and behind, and for that reason took off + her dress, so that she was only in her petticoat, and that he pulled up + very high in spite of her efforts, and that he might the better see at his + ease her beauties, he turned her this way and that, and three or four + times did his strong hand fall upon her big buttocks. Then he turned her + on the other side, and as he had regarded her backside, so did he her + front, to which the good, honest woman would in no wise consent, and + besides the resistance that she made, her tongue was not idle. + </p> + <p> + She called him “ungracious”, “a fool”, “a madman”, “disgusting”, and many + other things, but it was no good; he was stronger than she was, and would + make an inventory of all her charms, and she was forced to let him,—preferring, + like a wise woman, to please her husband, than to annoy him by a refusal. + </p> + <p> + Having broken down all her defences, this valiant man feasted his eyes on + her front part, and, shame to say, was not content until his hands had + revealed to his eyes all the secrets for which he searched. + </p> + <p> + And as he was profoundly studying her body, he would say, “I see this! I + see that! Now again this! Now again that!” until whosoever heard him would + have thought he saw all the world and much beside. And, finally, after a + long and thorough examination, he cried, “Holy Mary! what a lot of things + I see!” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, good people,” then said the labourer in the tree; “you do not + happen to see my calf? It seems to me, sir, that I can see its tail.” + </p> + <p> + The other was much vexed and astonished, and replied quickly, + </p> + <p> + “That tail is not the tail of your calf,” and with that he walked away, + and his wife after him. + </p> + <p> + If it should be asked what moved the labourer to put that question, the + writer of this story would reply that the hair in front of this woman was + very long and thick, as is usual with the Dutch women, and he might well + have thought it was the tail of his calf, and as also her husband was + saying that he could see so many things—nearly everything there was + in the world—the labourer thought to himself that the calf could + hardly be far off, but might be hidden inside along with the other things. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0012" id="linklinkimage-0012"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/13.jpg" width="100%" alt="13.jpg" + title=" the Castrated Clerk. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0015" id="linklink2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="13pg (139K)" src="images/13pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTEENTH — THE CASTRATED CLERK. <a + href="#linklinknote-13" name="linklinknoteref-13" id="linklinknoteref-13">13</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur L’amant De Brucelles. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>How a lawyer’s clerk in England deceived his master making him + believe that he had no testicles, by which reason he had charge over his + mistress both in the country and in the town, and enjoyed his pleasure.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + At London, in England, there formerly lived a lawyer, who, amongst his + other servitors, had a clerk who was clever, and diligent, wrote well, and + was a handsome lad, and was, moreover, let it be stated, as cunning as any + man of his age. + </p> + <p> + This gentle and lusty clerk was much smitten with his mistress,—a + beautiful, kind, and gentle dame—who so much admired him that if + ever he had but dared to reveal his affection, the god of love would have + led her to confess that he was the only man on earth who pleased her. + </p> + <p> + It chanced that once, being in a suitable place, and all fear being laid + aside, he recounted unto the said lady his sad, but not unpleasant, case; + and she by the great courtesy which God had not forgotten to give her, + being already touched as has before been said, did not long delay; for + after she had addressed to him many excuses and remonstrances, she was + glad to let him know that he pleased her well. + </p> + <p> + The other,—who was no fool—was more joyed than he had ever + been, and determined to hammer the iron while it was hot, and so warmly + pursued her, that ere long he enjoyed her love. + </p> + <p> + The love of the mistress for the clerk, and of the clerk for the mistress, + was for a long time so ardent, that never were people more taken with each + other; for not seldom did they forget to eat and drink, and it would not + have been in the power of Malbouche or Dangier (*) nor other such cursed + sprites, to have disturbed their happiness. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Allegorical personages, typifying slander and jealousy, + mentioned in the Romaunt de la Rose. +</pre> + <p> + In this joyous state and pleasant pastime, they passed many days such as + are rarely given to lovers, and so fond were they of each other, that they + would almost have renounced their share of paradise, to live in the world + in that condition. + </p> + <p> + It chanced one day they were together, talking of the great affection they + bore each other, and devising how they could safely continue to take their + pleasure without some inkling of their dangerous pastime being known to + her husband, who was as jealous as a man could be. + </p> + <p> + You may fancy that more than one idea occurred to them, which I here pass + over, but the final conclusion and supreme resolution of the good clerk, + was to vow to act carefully and bring his undertaking to a lucky + termination,—in which he failed not, and this is how he accomplished + his end. + </p> + <p> + You must know that while the clerk was on intimate and friendly terms with + his mistress, and diligently served and pleased her, he was at the same + time not less diligent to serve and please his master, that he might the + better conceal his own faults and blind the eyes of the jealous husband, + who little suspected what was being prepared for him. + </p> + <p> + One day soon after, our clerk, seeing that his master was well satisfied + with him, spoke to him when he was alone, most humbly, softly, and with + great respect, and told him that he had a great secret which he would + willingly reveal if he dared. + </p> + <p> + And, it must be told, that like women, who have tears at their command and + can shed them whenever they like, our clerk, whilst he spoke, let fall + from his eyes tears in great abundance,—which any man would have + taken to be signs of sorrow, pity, and honest purpose. + </p> + <p> + When the poor abused master heard his clerk, he was much astonished, and + said, + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter, my son, and why do you weep?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir, I have much more cause than anyone else to be sorrowful, but + my case is so strange, and not the less pitiful, that it should be hidden; + nevertheless I have determined to tell you, if I can lay aside the fear + which for long has haunted me.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not weep, my son,” replied his master, “and tell me what it is, and I + assure you that if it is possible for me to aid, you I will willingly give + you all the assistance I can.” + </p> + <p> + “Master,” said the cunning clerk, “I thank you; but I have thought the + matter over, and I do not think my tongue will be able to relate the great + misfortune that I have long time borne.” + </p> + <p> + “Leave all your grief and pratings,” replied the master. “Nothing ought to + be hidden from me, as your master, and I wish to know what is the matter; + therefore come here and tell me.” + </p> + <p> + The clerk, who knew the length of his master’s foot, had to be much + entreated, and pretended to be in great fear, and shed great abundance of + tears before he would accede and say what he had to say, and then made his + master promise that he would reveal the secret to no man, for he would + rather die than have his misfortune known. + </p> + <p> + The master having given this promise, the clerk—pale, and trembling + like a man who was going to be hanged—told his story. + </p> + <p> + “My most worthy master, I know that all people, and you amongst them, + imagine that I am a natural man like any other, capable of having + connexion with a woman, and creating children; but I affirm and can prove + that I am not such—to my great sorrow, alas.” + </p> + <p> + And with these words he pulled out his member and showed his bag. He had + with much time and trouble pushed up his testicles towards his lower + belly, and so well concealed them that it seemed as though he had none. + Then he said, + </p> + <p> + “Master, you now know my misfortune, which I again beg of you not to let + be known, and, moreover, I humbly beg of you by all the services I have + ever rendered,—which would have been greater if my power had + equalled my will—that you will allow me to pass the rest of my life + in some holy monastery, where I may spend my time in the service of God, + for I am of no use in the world.” + </p> + <p> + His worthy and much-abused master discoursed unto him of the austerities + of a religious life, and how little merit there was in becoming a monk out + of grief for a misfortune, and by many other means, too numerous to + recount here, prevailed on him to renounce his intention. And you must + know, moreover, that he would on no account lose his clerk, on account of + his skill in writing, and diligence, and the use he intended to make of + him. What need to say more? He so remonstrated that the clerk, in short, + promised to remain for a further time in his service. And as the clerk had + revealed his secret, so also did the master lay bare his own heart, and + said; + </p> + <p> + “My son, I am not glad to hear of your misfortune; but in the end God + orders all things for the best, and knows what is most suitable for us. + You can in future serve me well, and merit all that is in my power to do + for you. I have a young wife, who is light-hearted and flighty, and I am + old and staid; which might give occasion to some to dishonour me and her + also, if she should prove other than chaste, and afford me matter for + jealousy, and many other things. I entrust her to you that you may watch + over her, and I beg of you to guard her so that I may have no reason to be + jealous.” + </p> + <p> + After long deliberation, the clerk gave his reply, and when he spoke, God + knows how he praised his most fair and kind mistress, saying that she + excelled all others in beauty and goodness, of that he was sure. + Nevertheless, that service or any other he would perform with all his + heart, and never leave her whatever might happen, but inform his master of + all that occurred, as a good servant should. + </p> + <p> + The master, pleased and joyful at the new guardian he had found for his + wife, left the house, and went to the town to do his business. And the + good clerk at once entered upon his duties, and, as much as they dared, + employed the members with which they were provided, and made great cheer + over the subtle manner in which the husband had been deceived. For a long + period did they continue thus to enjoy themselves; and if at any time the + good husband was forced to go abroad, he took care to leave his clerk + behind; rather would he borrow a servant from one of his neighbours than + not leave the clerk to mind house. And if the lady had leave to go on any + pilgrimage, she would rather go without her tire-woman than without the + kind and obliging clerk. + </p> + <p> + In short, as you may suppose, never could clerk boast of a more lucky + adventure, and which—so far as I know—never came to the + knowledge of the husband, who would have been overcome with grief had he + learned of the trick. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0013" id="linklinkimage-0013"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/14.jpg" width="100%" alt="14.jpg" + title=" The Pope-maker, Or The Holy Man. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0016" id="linklink2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="14pg (129K)" src="images/14pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FOURTEENTH — THE POPE-MAKER, OR THE HOLY MAN. <a + href="#linklinknote-14" name="linklinknoteref-14" id="linklinknoteref-14">14</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur de Crequy + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a hermit who deceived the daughter of a poor woman, making her + believe that her daughter should have a son by him who should become + Pope; and how, when she brought forth it was a girl, and thus was the + trickery of the hermit discovered, and for that cause he had to flee + from that countery.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + The borders of Burgundy furnish many adventures worthy to be written and + remembered, and have provided the present story, not to speak of many + others which could be related. I will here only speak of an adventure + which happened formerly in a big village on the river Ousche. + </p> + <p> + There was, and is still, a mountain near, on which a hermit—of God + knows what sort—made his residence, and who under the cloak of + hypocrisy did many strange things, which did not come to the knowledge of + the common people until the time when God would no longer suffer his most + damnable abuses to continue. + </p> + <p> + This holy hermit was during all his life as lewd and mischievous as an old + ape, but surpassed all ordinary mortals in cunning. And this is what he + did. + </p> + <p> + He sought amongst all the women and pretty girls the one most worthy to be + loved and desired, and resolved that it was the daughter of a poor, simple + woman,—a widow who was very devout and charitable—and made up + his mind that, if he could have his way, she should become his prey. + </p> + <p> + One night, about midnight, when the weather was very rough and stormy, he + descended from the mountain and came to the village, and passing by + bye-roads and footpaths, came to where the mother and daughter lived, + without being seen or heard. He knew the house, which was not large, and + to which he had often been for devotional purposes. + </p> + <p> + He bored a hole in a part of the wall not exposed, and near the spot where + stood the bed of the simple widow woman, and passing a long, hollow stick, + with which he was provided, and without awaking the widow, placed it near + her ear, and said in a low voiced three times, + </p> + <p> + “Hear my voice, woman of God. I am an angel of the Creator, and have been + sent to you to announce that for your many good deeds which you have + performed there shall issue from your seed, that is your daughter, one who + shall unite, reform, and restore his bride the Church. And it shall be in + this manner. Thou shalt go to the mountain, to the holy hermit, and take + thy daughter, and relate to him at length that which God now commands you + by me. He shall know thy daughter, and from them shall spring a son, the + elect of God, and destined to fill the Holy Seat of Rome, who shall do + such good deeds that he may fitly be compared to St. Peter and St. Paul. + Hearken to my voice! Obey God!” + </p> + <p> + The foolish widow, much astonished and surprised, and half ravished with + delight, really believed that God had sent this messenger. She vowed to + herself that she would not disobey, and it was long ere she slept again, + and then not very soundly, so greatly did she desire and await the day. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the good hermit returned to his hermitage in the mountain. The + much-desired day at last dawned, and the sun pierced into the chamber of + the said widow, and both mother and daughter rose in great haste. + </p> + <p> + When they were up and dressed, and their little household set in order, + the mother asked her daughter if she had heard anything in the night. + </p> + <p> + The daughter replied, “No, mother; nothing.” + </p> + <p> + “It was not to you,” said the mother, “that the message was first + delivered, albeit it concerns you greatly.” + </p> + <p> + Then she related at length the angel’s message which God had sent her, and + asked her what she should reply thereto? + </p> + <p> + The girl, who was like her mother, simple and devout, replied; “Praise be + to God. Whatever pleases you, mother, shall be done.” + </p> + <p> + “That is well spoken,” replied the mother. “Let us go to the mountain to + the holy man, as the angel bade us.” + </p> + <p> + The hermit was on the watch to see whether the foolish woman would bring + her innocent daughter, and beheld them coming. He left his door half open, + and knelt down in prayer in his chamber, in order that he might be found + at his devotions. + </p> + <p> + It happened as he wished, for the good woman and her daughter, when they + saw the door open, entered at once; and when they beheld the hermit in + holy contemplation, as though he had been a god, they did homage to him. + </p> + <p> + The hermit, with his eyes bent down to the earth, said in a humble voice; + “God save you both.” + </p> + <p> + Then the poor, old woman, anxious that he should know the cause of her + coming, took him on one side, and told him from beginning to end the story—which + he knew better than she did. And as she related the tale with great + veneration and respect, the hermit folded his hands and turned up his eyes + to heaven, and the good old woman wept, more for joy than for grief; and + the poor girl also wept when she saw this good and holy hermit pray with + such deep devotion she did not know why. + </p> + <p> + When the story was finished, the old woman awaited the reply, which he did + not hasten to give. But after a certain time he spoke, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Praise be to God! But, my dear friend, are you really sure that the + message you say you heard, may not have been some fancy or illusion + created by your own heart? The matter is a serious one.” + </p> + <p> + “I certainly heard the voice, father, which brought me this joyful + message, as plainly as I now hear you, and I do not think I was asleep.” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said he, “I should be unwilling to act against the wishes of my + Creator; but it seems best to me that you and I should again sleep upon + this matter, and if the angel should appear to you again, come back and + tell me, and God will give us good counsel. We should not believe too + readily, good mother. The devil, who is always envious of the good, has + many tricks, and can change himself into an angel of light. Believe me, + mother, it is no light thing you ask of me, and it is no marvel if I seem + to hesitate. Have I not sworn before God, a vow of chastity? And here you + bring me word that I am to break my oath! Return to your house and pray to + God, and to-morrow we shall see what will happen. God be with you.” + </p> + <p> + After much discussion, they left the hermit and returned home + thoughtfully. + </p> + <p> + To cut the story short, our hermit, at the accustomed time set forth, + carrying a hollow stick instead of a staff, and putting it near the pillow + of the foolish woman, delivered much the same message as on the previous + night; and that being done, returned at once to his hermitage. + </p> + <p> + The good woman, filled with joy, rose early and related all the story to + her daughter, showing how the vision of the previous night had been + confirmed. “There is no time to be lost! We must go to the holy man!” + </p> + <p> + They went, and he saw them coming, and took his breviary and acted the + hypocrite as before, but God knows he was not thinking of his devotions. + And just as he had finished, and was about to recommence, there were the + two women in front of his hut saluting him, and you may fancy that the old + lady hurried through her narration; whereupon the good man made the sign + of the cross, and feigning great surprise, said, + </p> + <p> + “Oh God! my Creator! What is this? Do with me as you will—though, if + it were not for thy great grace, I am not worthy to perform such a great + work!” + </p> + <p> + “But see, father!” said the much-abused and deceived woman: “the message + is true, since the angel has again appeared unto me.” + </p> + <p> + “In truth, my dear friend, this matter is of great importance and very + difficult and strange, so that I yet can give but a doubtful reply. Not + that I would tempt God by demanding another vision, but there is a saying + ‘The third time is sure’. Therefore I beg and desire of you to let pass + this night also, and await the pleasure of God, and if of His great mercy + it please Him to show us also this night as on the previous nights, we + will do as He bids us to His praise.” + </p> + <p> + It was not with a good grace that the foolish old woman was induced to put + off this act of obedience to God, but she knew the hermit was wiser than + she was. + </p> + <p> + When she was in bed, and thinking over all these marvellous visions, this + perverse hypocrite came down from his mountain, placed his hollow stick to + her ear, as before, and commanded her, once for all, to obey the message + and take her daughter to the hermit for the purpose mentioned. + </p> + <p> + She did not forget, as soon as it was day, to do her duty, and when she + and her daughter had given thanks to God, they set out for the hermitage, + where the hermit came forth to meet them, and saluted and blessed them in + the name of God. + </p> + <p> + The good woman, more joyous than ever, informed him of the last vision. + The hermit took her by the hand and led her into the chapel, and the girl + followed them. There they made most devout prayers to the all-powerful God + who had vouchsafed to show them this mystery. + </p> + <p> + Then the hermit delivered a short sermon, touching dreams, visions, + apparitions, and revelations, which often come to certain people, and + alluded to the cause for which they were there assembled, and God knows + that he preached well and righteously. + </p> + <p> + “Since God willed and commanded that he should create a successor to the + Pope, and had deigned to reveal His will not once or twice, but three + times, he must needs believe and conclude that great results must follow + from this deed. It is my opinion,” he concluded, “that we should no longer + defer the execution of His orders, seeing that we have already delayed so + long, through refusing to believe in this holy vision.” + </p> + <p> + “That is well said, father. What would it please you to do?” replied the + old woman. + </p> + <p> + “You will leave your fair daughter here,” said the hermit, “and she and I + will pray together, and moreover do whatever God shall teach us.” + </p> + <p> + The good widow was much pleased, and her daughter was content to obey. + When the hermit found himself alone with the damsel, he made her strip + entirely as though he would baptise her, and you may fancy that the hermit + did not long remain dressed. But why make a long story? He lay with her so + long, and so often repeated it both in his cell and at her home, that at + last she could not leave the house for shame, for her belly began to + swell,—at which you need not be told she was overjoyed. + </p> + <p> + But if the daughter rejoiced to find herself pregnant, the mother rejoiced + a hundred times more, and the hypocritical hermit also pretended to + rejoice at the news, though inwardly he was bitterly vexed. + </p> + <p> + The poor credulous mother, really believing that her daughter would bring + forth a son who should in due time be Pope of Rome, could not help + relating the story to one of her intimate friends, who was as much + astonished as though she had found horns growing on her head, but, + nevertheless, suspected no trickery. + </p> + <p> + Ere long the neighbour had told the other male and female neighbours, how + the daughter of such an one was pregnant by the holy hermit of a son who + was to be Pope of Rome. + </p> + <p> + “And what I tell you,” she said, “the mother of the girl told me, and God + revealed it to her.” + </p> + <p> + The news soon spread through all the neighbouring towns. Soon afterwards + the girl was brought to bed, and duly delivered of a female child, at + which she and her foolish mother were both astonished and angry, and the + neighbours also, who expected the holy hermit to have been there to + receive the child. + </p> + <p> + The report spread quite as quickly as the previous one, and the hermit was + one of the first to hear of it, and quickly fled into another country—I + know not where—to deceive another woman or girl, or perhaps into the + desert of Egypt to perform penance, with a contrite heart, for his sin. + However that may be, the poor girl was dishonoured; which was a great + pity, for she was fair, good, and amiable. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="15pg (130K)" src="images/15pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="linklink2H_4_0017" id="linklink2H_4_0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTEENTH — THE CLEVER NUN. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a nun whom a monk wished to deceive, and how he offered to shoo + her his weapon that she might feel it, but brought with him a companion + whom he put forward in his place, and of the answer she gave him.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the fair country of Brabant, near to a monastery of white monks (*), is + situated a nunnery of devout and charitable nuns, but their name and order + need not be mentioned. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Either Carthusians, who wear white robes and hoods, or + Dominicans who wear white robes and black hoods. +</pre> + <p> + The two convents being close together, there was always a barn for the + threshers, as the saying is, for, thank God, the nuns were so kind-hearted + that few who sought amorous intercourse with them were refused, provided + only they were worthy to receive their favours. + </p> + <p> + But, to come to the story, there was amongst these white monks, a young + and handsome monk who fell in love with one of the nuns, and after some + preliminaries, had the courage to ask her for the love of God to grant him + her favours. + </p> + <p> + The nun, who knew how he was furnished, though she was by nature + courteous, gave him a harsh and sharp reply. He was not to be rebuffed, + however, but continued to implore her love with most humble requests, + until the pretty nun was forced either to lose her reputation for + courtesy, or give the monk what she had granted to many others as soon as + she was asked. + </p> + <p> + She said to him; “Truly you weary me with requests for that which honestly + I ought not to give you. But I have heard what sort of weapon you carry, + and if it be so you have not much to thank Nature for.” + </p> + <p> + “I do not know who told you,” replied the monk, “but I am sure that you + will be satisfied with me, and I will prove to you that I am as good a man + as any other.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes. I believe you are a man,” said she “but your machine is so small + that if you were to put it in a certain place, I should hardly know that + it was there.” + </p> + <p> + “It is quite the reverse,” said the monk, “and, if I were in that place, I + would do so well that you would confess that those who gave me that + reputation were liars.” + </p> + <p> + After these fair speeches, the kind nun, that she might know what he could + do, and perhaps not forgetting her own share in the pleasure, told him to + come to the window of her cell at midnight; for which favour he thanked + her gratefully. + </p> + <p> + “But at any rate,” said she, “you shall not enter until I really know what + sort of lance you carry, and whether you can be of use to me or not.” + </p> + <p> + “As you please,” replied the monk, and with that he quitted his mistress, + and went straight to Brother Conrad, one of his companions, who was + furnished, God knows how well, and for that reason was much esteemed in + the nunnery. + </p> + <p> + To him the young monk related how he had begged a favour of such an one, + and how she had refused, doubting whether his foot would fit her shoe, but + in the end had consented that he should come to her, but would first feel + and know with what sort of lance he would charge against her shield. + </p> + <p> + “I have not,” said he, “a fine thick lance, such as I know she would + desire to meet. Therefore I beg of you with all my heart, to come with me + this night at the hour when I am to meet her, and you will do me the + greatest service that ever one man did to another. I know very well that + she will want to touch and handle the lance, and this is what you must do. + You will be behind me; but do not speak. Then take my place, and put your + great machine in her hand. She will open the door then, I expect, and you + will go away and I will enter in,—and leave the rest to me.” + </p> + <p> + Brother Conrad greatly doubted whether it would happen as his friend + wished, but he agreed to do as he was asked. At the appointed hour they + set forth to visit the nun. When they came to the window, the young monk, + who was more eager than a stallion, knocked once with his stick, and the + nun did not wait for him to knock a second time, but opened the window, + and said in a low voice; + </p> + <p> + “Who is there?” + </p> + <p> + “It is I,” he replied; “Open your door, lest anyone should hear us.” + </p> + <p> + “By my faith,” quoth she, “you shall not be entered on the roll of my + lovers, until you have passed a review, and I know what equipments you + have. Come hither, and show me what it is like.” + </p> + <p> + “Willingly,” said he. + </p> + <p> + Then Brother Conrad took his place, and slipped into the nun’s hand his + fine, powerful weapon, which was thick, long, and round. But as soon as + she felt it she recognized it, and said; + </p> + <p> + “No! No! I know that well enough. That is the lance of Brother Conrad. + There is not a nun here who does not know it! You thought I should be + deceived, but I know too much for you! Go and try your luck elsewhere!” + </p> + <p> + And with that she closed the window, being very angry and ill-pleased, not + with Brother Conrad, but with the other monk; and they after this + adventure, returned to their convent, pondering over all that had + happened. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0014" id="linklinkimage-0014"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/16.jpg" width="100%" alt="16.jpg" + title=" On the Blind Side. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0018" id="linklink2H_4_0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="16pg (138K)" src="images/16pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTEENTH — ON THE BLIND SIDE. <a href="#linklinknote-16" name="linklinknoteref-16" id="linklinknoteref-16">16</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur Le Duc. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight of Picardy who went to Prussia, and, meanwhile his lady + took a lover, and was in bed with him when her husband returned; and how + by a cunning trick she got her lover out of the room without the knight + being aware of it.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the County of Artois there lived formerly a noble knight, rich and + powerful, and married to a beautiful dame of high family. These two lived + together for long, and passed their days in peace and happiness. And + because the most powerful Duke of Burgundy, Count of Artois, and their + lord, was then at peace with all the great princes of Christendom, the + knight, who was most devout, reflected that he ought to offer to God the + body which had been given him, and which was fair and strong, and as + well-formed as that of any man in that country, save that he had lost an + eye in a battle. To perform the vow he had made,—after he had taken + leave of his wife and relatives, he betook himself to the noble knights of + Prussia,—the true defenders of the holy-Christian church (*); and in + Prussia he fought valiantly and had many adventures—which I pass + over here—and at the end was safe and sound, though he had shown + great prowess, and the reports of his valour had been widely spread about + by those who had seen them and returned to their own country, or by the + letters they had written to many who had heard of his deeds with much + pleasure. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Doubtless there was a confusion In the writer’s mind + between Prussia and Hungary, and he alludes to the Crusade + against the Turks which ended disastrously for the Crusaders + in 1396, and in which Jean sans Peur and many Burgundian + knights took part. +</pre> + <p> + Now you must know that his lady, who stayed at home, had bestowed her + affection on a squire who sought her love, and was glad to have a + substitute for her liege lord, who was away fighting the Saracens. + </p> + <p> + Whilst my lord was fasting and doing penance, my lady made good cheer with + the squire; often did my lord dine and sup on bread and water, whilst my + lady was enjoying all the good things which God had given her in plenty; + my lord,—if he could do no better,—lay upon straw, and my lady + rested in a fine bed with the squire. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, whilst my lord was fighting the Saracens, my lady + was indulging in another sort of combat with the squire, and did so well + thereat, that if my lord had never returned he would not have been much + missed or regretted. + </p> + <p> + The knight finding that—thanks be to God—the Saracens were no + longer on the offensive; and that it was a long time since he had seen his + home, and his good wife, who much desired and regretted him, as she had + many times told him in her letters, prepared to return, and started with + the few retainers he had. And he fared so well, owing to the great desire + he had to return to his home, and the arms of his wife, that in a few days + he was near there. + </p> + <p> + Being more anxious than any of his followers, he was always the first to + rise, and the foremost on the journey. In fact, he made such speed that he + often rode alone, a quarter of a league or more ahead of his retainers. + </p> + <p> + One day, it chanced the knight had lodged about six leagues from his home. + He rose early in the morning and mounted his horse, intending to arrive at + his house before his wife, who knew nothing of his coming, was awake. + </p> + <p> + He set out as he intended, and, when on the road, he said to his + followers, “Come at your leisure; there is no need for you to follow me. I + will ride on fast that I may surprise my wife in bed.” + </p> + <p> + His retainers being weary, and their horses also, did not oppose his + wishes, but travelled along at their ease, though they had some fears for + the knight, who rode thus fast in the dark and alone. + </p> + <p> + He made such speed that soon he was in the courtyard of his castle, where + he found a serving-man, to whom he gave his horse; then, in his boots and + spurs, he went straight, and without meeting any one, for it was yet early + in the morning, towards the chamber where my lady slept, and where the + squire was doing that which the knight longed to do. + </p> + <p> + You may guess that the squire and the lady were both astonished when the + knight thundered on the door—which was locked—with his staff. + </p> + <p> + “Who is there?” asked the lady. + </p> + <p> + “It is I,” replied the knight. “Open the door!” + </p> + <p> + The lady, who knew her husband’s voice, did not feel comfortable; + nevertheless she caused the squire to dress himself which he did as + quickly as he could, wondering how he should escape from his dangerous + position. She meanwhile pretended to be asleep, and not recognise her + husband’s voice, and when he knocked at the door a second time, she asked + again, “Who is there?” “It is your husband, wife! Open the door quickly!” + </p> + <p> + “My husband?” said she. “Alas, he is far from here! May God soon bring him + back in safety.” + </p> + <p> + “By my soul, wife, I am your husband! Did you not know my voice? I knew + yours as soon as I heard you speak.” + </p> + <p> + “When he does come, I shall know of it long beforehand, that I may receive + him as I ought, and that I may call together his relations and friends to + wish him a hearty welcome. Go away! Go away! and let me sleep!” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John I will take care you do not! Open the door! Do you not know + your own husband?” and with that he called her by her name. + </p> + <p> + She saw that her lover was by that time quite ready, and made him stand + behind the door. Then she said to the knight. + </p> + <p> + “Is it really you? For God’s sake pardon me! And are you in good health?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; thank God,” said the knight. + </p> + <p> + “God be praised!” said the lady. “I will come directly and let you in; but + I am not dressed, and must get a candle.” + </p> + <p> + “Take your time!” said the knight. + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” said the lady, “just as you knocked, my lord, I was much + disturbed by a dream I had about you.” + </p> + <p> + “And what was that, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith, my lord! I dreamed that you came back, and talked with me, and + that you saw as well with one eye as with the other. + </p> + <p> + “Would to God it were so,” said my lord. + </p> + <p> + “By our Lady,” said his wife, “I believe it is as I say.” + </p> + <p> + “By my word”, replied the knight, “you are very foolish. How could it be + so?” + </p> + <p> + “I maintain,” said she, “that it is so.” + </p> + <p> + “There is nothing of the kind,” said the knight. “You must be mad to think + so.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my lord,” she replied, “you will never make me believe it is not as I + say, and, to set my mind at rest, I ask of you to give me a proof.” + </p> + <p> + Thereupon she opened the door, holding a lighted candle in her hand, and + he, not displeased at her words, permitted her to make trial, and thus the + poor man allowed her to cover up his eye with her one hand, whilst with + the other she held the candle before his blind eye. Then she said; + </p> + <p> + “My lord! on your oath, can you not see well?” + </p> + <p> + “I swear I cannot,” said my lord. + </p> + <p> + Whilst this trick was being played, my lord’s substitute stole out of the + chamber without being perceived by him. + </p> + <p> + “Wait a moment, my lord,” said she. “<i>Now</i> cannot you see well? Tell + me the truth!” + </p> + <p> + “No, by God, my dear,” replied the knight. “How should I see? You have + stopped up my right eye, and the other I lost more than ten years ago.” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” said she, “I see it was but an idle, foolish dream; but, be that + as it may, God be praised and thanked that you are here.” + </p> + <p> + “Amen,” said the knight, and with that he kissed and embraced her many + times, and they rejoiced greatly. + </p> + <p> + And my lord did not forget to tell her how he had left his retainers + behind, and what speed he had made that he might find her in bed. + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” said my lady, “you are a good husband.” + </p> + <p> + And with that there came women and other servants, who took off the + knight’s armour, and undressed him. That being done, he got into bed with + the lady, and enjoyed what the squire had left—who, for his part, + meanwhile went his way, happy and joyful to have escaped. + </p> + <p> + Thus was the knight deceived, as you have heard; nor was he ever informed + of it that I am aware, though it was known to many people. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0015" id="linklinkimage-0015"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/17.jpg" width="100%" alt="17.jpg" + title=" The Lawyer and The Bolting-mill. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0019" id="linklink2H_4_0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="17pg (133K)" src="images/17pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTEENTH — THE LAWYER AND THE BOLTING-MILL. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur Le Duc. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a President of Parliament, who fell in love with his chamber-maid, + and would have forced her whilst she was sifting flour, but by fair + speaking she dissuaded him, and made him shake the sieve whilst she went + unto her mistress, who came and found her husband thus, as you will + afterwards hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + There lived formerly at Paris a President of the Court of Accounts, who + was a learned clerk, a knight, and a man of ripe age, but right joyous and + pleasant to both men and women. + </p> + <p> + This worthy lord had married a woman who was both elderly and sickly, and + by her had divers children. And amongst the other damsels, waiting women, + and servant maids in his house, was a serving-wench whom nature had made + most fair, and who did the household work; made the beds, baked the bread, + and did other low offices. The gentleman, who made love whenever he found + a chance, did not conceal from the fair wench his intentions towards her, + and made attempts upon her virtue, promising her many rich gifts, and + explaining to her that it was her duty to let him have his way, and trying + first this way and then that to seduce her. But he was grieved to find + that he could not induce her to return his love. The girl was wise and + chaste, and not so foolish as to grant her master any favour, but spoke + him so fairly that he did not lose heart, though he would have preferred a + different kind of answer. + </p> + <p> + When he found that kindness was of no use, he tried harshness and rough + words, but the wench was not frightened, and told him that, “He might do + as he pleased, but whilst she had life she would never let him near her.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman, seeing that her mind was fully made-up, spake no more to + her for some days, but spared not loving looks and signs; which much + annoyed her, and if she had not feared to make discord between husband and + wife, she would have told the latter how unfaithful her spouse was, but, + in the end, she resolved to conceal this as long as she could. + </p> + <p> + The infatuation of the old man increased every day, and begging and + praying no longer sufficed. He went to her and renewed his entreaties and + vows, which he confirmed by a hundred thousand oaths. But—to cut + matters short—it was all no good; he could not obtain a single word, + or the least shadow of hope, that he would ever attain his purpose. + </p> + <p> + Thereupon he left her, but he did not forget to say that if ever he found + a favourable opportunity she would have to comply with his wishes, or it + would be the worse for her. + </p> + <p> + The wench was not much frightened, thought no more of it, and went about + her duties as usual. + </p> + <p> + Some time afterwards, one Monday morning, the pretty servant, having some + pies to make, was sifting meal. Now you must know that the room where she + was thus engaged, was not far from her master’s bedroom, and he heard the + noise of the sieve, and knew very well that it was made by the + servant-girl at her work. + </p> + <p> + He thought that perhaps she was not alone, but, if she should be, he would + never find a better chance. + </p> + <p> + He said to himself, “Though she has often refused me by word of mouth, I + shall succeed at last if I only keep to my purpose.” + </p> + <p> + It was early dawn, and his wife was not awake, at which he was glad. He + stole quietly out of bed; put on his dressing-gown and his slippers, and + crept to the damsel’s room so quietly that she never knew he was there + until she saw him. + </p> + <p> + The poor girl was much astonished, and trembled; suspecting that her + master had come to take that which she would never give him. + </p> + <p> + Seeing she was frightened, he said nothing but attacked her with such + violence that he would soon have taken the place by storm if she had not + sued for peace. She said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir, I beg for mercy! My life and honour are in your hands;—have + pity on me!” + </p> + <p> + “I care nothing about honour,” said her master, who was very hot and + excited. “You are in my hands and cannot escape me,” and with that he + attacked her more violently than before. + </p> + <p> + The girl, finding resistance was useless, bethought herself of a + stratagem, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I prefer to surrender of free-will than by force. Leave me alone, + and I will do all that you may require.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said her master, “but be sure that I will not let you go + free.” + </p> + <p> + “There is but one thing I would beg of you, sir” replied the girl. “I + greatly fear that my mistress may hear you; and if, by chance, she should + come and find you here, I should be lost and ruined, for she would either + beat me or kill me.” + </p> + <p> + “She is not likely to come,” said he, “she is sleeping soundly.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sir, I am in great fear of her and, as I would be assured, I beg + and request of you, for my peace of mind and our greater security in what + we are about to do, that you let me go and see whether she is sleeping, or + what she is doing.” + </p> + <p> + “By our Lady! you would never return,” said the gentleman. + </p> + <p> + “I swear that I will,” she replied, “and that speedily.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good then,” said he. “Make haste!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sir,” said she. “It would be well that you should take this sieve and + work as I was doing; so that if my lady should by chance awake, she will + hear the noise and know that I am at work.” + </p> + <p> + “Give it to me, and I will work well;—but do not stay long.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no, sir. Hold this sieve, and you will look like a woman.” + </p> + <p> + “As to that, God knows I care not,” said he, and with that laid hold of + the sieve and began to work it as best he could. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the virtuous wench mounted to her lady’s room and woke her, and + told her how her husband had attempted her virtue, and attacked her whilst + she was sifting meal, “And if it please you to come and see how I escaped + him,” she said, “come down with me and behold him.” + </p> + <p> + The lady rose at once, put on her dress, and was soon before the door of + the room where her lord was diligently sifting. And when she saw him thus + employed, and struggling with the sieve, she said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Ah, master, what is this? Where are now all your learning, your honour, + your knowledge and prudence?” + </p> + <p> + He saw that he had been deceived, and replied quickly. + </p> + <p> + “Wife, they are all collected at the end of my c—k.”, and with that, + being much annoyed and angry, he threw down the sieve and went back to his + room. + </p> + <p> + His wife followed him, and began to lecture him again, but he paid little + heed. When he was ready, he ordered his mule, and went to the palace, + where he related his adventure to divers gentlemen, who laughed loudly + thereat. And, although he was at first angry with the wench, he afterwards + helped her, by his influence and rich gifts, to find a husband. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0016" id="linklinkimage-0016"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/18.jpg" width="100%" alt="18.jpg" + title=" From Belly to Back. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0020" id="linklink2H_4_0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="18pg (135K)" src="images/18pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTEENTH — FROM BELLY TO BACK. <a href="#linklinknote-18" name="linklinknoteref-18" id="linklinknoteref-18">18</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman of Burgundy who paid a chambermaid ten crowns to sleep + with her, but before he left her room, had his ten crowns back, and made + her carry him on her shoulders through the host’s chamber. And in + passing by the said chamber he let wind so loudly that all was known, as + you will hear in the story which follows.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A gentleman of Burgundy went on some business to Paris, and lodged at a + good inn, for it was his custom always to seek out the best lodgings. He + knew a thing or two, and he noticed that the chambermaid did not look a + sort of woman who was afraid of a man. So, without much ado, or making two + bites at a cherry, he asked if he could sleep with her? + </p> + <p> + But she set her back up at once. “How dare you make such a proposal to + me,” she said. “I would have you to know that I am not one of those girls + who bring scandal upon the houses in which they live.” And in short, for + all he could say she refused to have anything to do with him “for any + money.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman who knew well what all these protestations were worth, said + to her; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, if fitting time and place were given me, I would tell you + something you would be glad to learn; but as, perhaps, it might hurt your + reputation if you were seen conversing with me, talk to my valet, and he + will arrange matters on my behalf.” + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing to say either to him or to you,” she replied, and with + that she walked away, and the gentleman called his valet, who was a clever + rogue, and ordered him to follow her and win her over at any cost. + </p> + <p> + The valet, who was well trained, promised that he would perform his task, + and, as soon as he found her, set to work to employ honied phrases, and if + she had not been of Paris, and not the least cunning of the women of that + city, his soft speeches and the promises he made on behalf of his master, + would soon have gained her heart. + </p> + <p> + But as it was, after much talk between them, she cut matters short by + saying; + </p> + <p> + “I know well what your master wants, but he shall not touch me unless I + have ten crowns.” + </p> + <p> + The servant reported this to his master, who was not so generous, or at + least not in such a case, as to give ten crowns to enjoy a kitchen wench. + </p> + <p> + “Be that as it may,” replied the valet, “she will not budge from that; and + even then you must use precautions in going to her chamber, for you must + pass through that of the host. What do you intend to do?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said his master, “I regret sorely having to pay ten crowns, + but I am so smitten with the wench that I cannot give her up. To the devil + with avarice! she shall have the money.” + </p> + <p> + “Shall I tell her then you will give her the money?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, in the devil’s name! Yes!” + </p> + <p> + The valet found the girl, and told her she should have the money, and + perhaps something more. + </p> + <p> + “Very good,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, a time was arranged for the gentleman to come to + her, but, before she would show him the way to her room, she insisted on + the ten crowns being paid down. + </p> + <p> + The Burgundian was not over-pleased, and as he was on the way to her + chamber, it struck him that he was paying dearly for his amusement, and he + resolved that he would play her a trick. + </p> + <p> + He stole into her room so quietly that neither the host nor his wife + awaked. There he undressed, and said to himself that he would at least + have his money’s worth. He did marvels, and got as good as he sent. + </p> + <p> + What with jesting and other matters, the hours passed quickly, and dawn + was near. He was then more willing to sleep than to do anything else, but + the fair chambermaid said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I have heard and seen so much of your nobleness, honour, and + courtesy that I have consented to allow you to take that which I hold + dearest in all the world. I now beg and request of you that you will at + once dress and hasten away, for it is now day, and if by chance my master + or mistress should come here, as is often their custom in the morning, and + should find you here, I should be dishonoured, nor would it do you any + good.” + </p> + <p> + “I care not,” quoth he, “what good or evil may happen, but here I will + remain, and sleep at my ease and leisure before I leave. I am entitled to + that for my money. Do you think you have so easily earned my ten crowns? + You took them quickly enough. By St. George! I have no fear; but I will + stay here and you shall bear me company, if you please.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, sir,” she replied, “by my soul I cannot do this. You must leave. It + will be full day directly, and if you are found here what will become of + me? I would rather die than that should happen; and if you do not make + haste I much fear some one will come.” + </p> + <p> + “Let them come,” said the gentleman. “I care not, but, I tell you plainly, + that until you give me back my ten crowns, I will not leave here, happen + what may.” + </p> + <p> + “Your ten crowns?” she answered. “Are you a man of that sort, and so + devoid of any courtesy or grace as to take back from me in that fashion, + that which you have given? By my faith that is not the way to prove + yourself a gentleman.” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever I am,” said he, “I will not leave here, or shall you either, + until you have given me back my ten crowns; you gained them too easily.” + </p> + <p> + “May God help me,” she replied, “though you speak thus I do not believe + you would be so ungrateful, after the pleasure I have given you, or so + discorteous, as not to aid me to preserve my honour, and therefore I beg + of you to grant my request, and leave here.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman said that he would do nothing of the sort, and in the end + the poor girl was forced—though God knows with what regret—to + hand-over the ten crowns in order to make him go. When the money had + returned to the hand that gave it, the girl was very angry, but the man + was in great glee. + </p> + <p> + “Now,” said the girl, angrily, “that you have thus tricked and deceived + me, at least make haste. Let it suffice that you have made a fool of me, + and do not by delay bring dishonour upon me by being seen here.” + </p> + <p> + “I have nothing to do with your honour,” said he. “Keep it as much as + like, but you brought me here and you must take me back to the place from + whence I came, for I do not intend to have the double trouble of coming + and returning.” + </p> + <p> + The chambermaid, seeing that she only made him more obstinate, and that + day was breaking fast, took the gentleman on her back, and though sick at + heart with fear and anger, began to carry him. And as she was picking her + way carefully and noiselessly, this courteous gentleman, who after having + ridden on her belly was now riding on her back, broke wind so loudly that + the host awoke, and called out in his fright; + </p> + <p> + “Who is there?” + </p> + <p> + “It is your chambermaid,” said the gentleman, “who is taking me back to + the place from whence she brought me.” + </p> + <p> + At these words the poor girl’s heart and strength failed her. She could no + longer bear her unpleasant burden, and she fell on the floor and rolled + one way, whilst the squire went rolling the other. + </p> + <p> + The host, who knew what was the matter, spoke sharply to the girl, who + soon afterwards left his house; and the gentleman returned to Burgundy, + where he often gleefully related to his gallant companions the above + written adventure. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkstory19" id="linklinkstory19"></a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="19pg (138K)" src="images/19pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> STORY THE NINETEENTH — THE CHILD OF THE SNOW. <a + href="#linklinknote-19" name="linklinknoteref-19" id="linklinknoteref-19">19</a> + </p> + <p> + By Philippe Vignier. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of an English merchant whose wife had a child in his absence, and + told him that it was his; and how he cleverly got rid of the child—for + his wife having asserted that it was born of the snow, he declared it + had been melted by the sun.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Moved by a strong desire to see and know foreign countries, and to meet + with adventures, a worthy and rich merchant of London left his fair and + good wife, his children, relations, friends, estates, and the greater part + of his possessions, and quitted the kingdom, well furnished with money and + great abundance of merchandise, such as England can supply to foreign + countries, and with many other things which, for the sake of brevity, I do + not mention here. + </p> + <p> + On this first voyage, the good merchant wandered about for a space of five + years, during which time his good wife looked after his property, disposed + of much merchandise profitably, and managed so well that her husband, when + he returned at the end of five years, greatly praised her, and loved her + more than ever. + </p> + <p> + The merchant, not content with the many strange and wonderful things he + had seen, or with the large fortune he had made, four or five months after + his return, again set forth in quest of adventures in foreign lands, both + Christian and pagan, and stayed there so long that ten years passed before + his wife again saw him, but he often wrote to her, that she might know + that he was still alive. + </p> + <p> + She was young and lusty, and wanted not any of the goods that God could + give, except the presence of her husband. His long absence constrained her + to provide herself with a lover, by whom shortly she had a fine boy. + </p> + <p> + This son was nourished and brought up with the others, his half-brothers, + and, when the merchant returned, was about seven years old. + </p> + <p> + Great were the rejoicings between husband and wife when he came back, and + whilst they were conversing pleasantly, the good woman, at the demand of + her husband, caused to be brought all their children, not omitting the one + who had been born during the absence of him whose name she bore. + </p> + <p> + The worthy merchant seeing all these children, and remembering perfectly + how many there should be, found one over and above; at which he was much + astonished and surprised, and he inquired of his wife who was this fair + son, the youngest of their children? + </p> + <p> + “Who is he?” said she; “On my word, husband, he is our son! Who else + should he be?” + </p> + <p> + “I do not know,” he replied, “but, as I have never seen him before, is it + strange that I should ask?” + </p> + <p> + “No, by St. John,” said she; “but he is our son.” + </p> + <p> + “How can that be?” said her husband. “You were not pregnant when I left.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly I was not, so far as I know,” she replied, “but I can swear that + the child is yours, and that no other man but you has ever lain with me.” + </p> + <p> + “I never said so,” he answered, “but, at any rate, it is ten years since I + left, and this child does not appear more than seven. How then can it be + mine? Did you carry him longer than you did the others?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, I know not!” she said; “but what I tell you is true. Whether + I carried it longer than the others I know not, and if you did not make it + before you left, I do not know how it could have come, unless it was that, + not long after your departure, I was one day in our garden, when suddenly + there came upon me a longing and desire to eat a leaf of sorrel, which at + that time was thickly covered with snow. I chose a large and fine leaf, as + I thought, and ate it, but it was only a white and hard piece of snow. And + no sooner had I eaten it than I felt myself to be in the same condition as + I was before each of my other children was born. In fact, a certain time + afterwards, I bore you this fair son.” + </p> + <p> + The merchant saw at once that he was being fooled, but he pretended to + believe the story his wife had told him, and replied; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, though what you tell me is hardly possible, and has never + happened to anyone else, let God be praised for what He has sent us. If He + has given us a child by a miracle, or by some secret method of which we + are ignorant, He has not forgotten to provide us with the wherewithal to + keep it.” + </p> + <p> + When the good woman saw that her husband was willing to believe the tale + she told him, she was greatly pleased. The merchant, who was both wise and + prudent, stayed at home the next ten years, without making any other + voyages, and in all that time breathed not a word to his wife to make her + suspect he knew aught of her doings, so virtuous and patient was he. + </p> + <p> + But he was not yet tired of travelling, and wished to begin again. He told + his wife, who was very dissatisfied thereat. + </p> + <p> + “Be at ease,” he said, “and, if God and St. George so will, I will return + shortly. And as our son, who was born during my last voyage, is now grown + up, and capable of seeing and learning, I will, if it seem good to you, + take him with me.” + </p> + <p> + “On my word”, said she “I hope you will, and you will do well.” + </p> + <p> + “It shall be done,” he said, and thereupon he started, and took with him + the young man, of whom he was not the father, and for whom he felt no + affection. + </p> + <p> + They had a good wind, and came to the port of Alexandria, where the good + merchant sold the greater part of his merchandise very well. But he was + not so foolish as to keep at his charge a child his wife had had by some + other man, and who, after his death, would inherit like the other + children, so he sold the youth as a slave, for good money paid down, and + as the lad was young and strong, nearly a hundred ducats was paid for him. + </p> + <p> + When this was done, the merchant returned to London, safe and sound, thank + God. And it need not be told how pleased his wife was to see him in good + health, but when she saw her son was not there, she knew not what to + think. + </p> + <p> + She could not conceal her feelings, and asked her husband what had become + of their son? + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my dear,” said he, “I will not conceal from you that a great + misfortune has befallen him.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, what?” she asked. “Is he drowned?” + </p> + <p> + “No; but the truth is that the wind and waves wafted us to a country that + was so hot that we nearly died from the great heat of the sun. And one day + when we had all left the ship, in order that we each might dig a hole in + which to shield ourselves from the heat,—our dear son, who, as you + know was made of snow, began to melt in the sun, and in our presence was + turned into water, and ere you could have said one of the seven psalms, + there was nothing left of him. Thus strangely did he come into the world, + and thus suddenly did he leave it. I both was, and am, greatly vexed, and + not one of all the marvels I have ever seen astonished me so greatly.” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said she. “Since it has pleased God to give and to take away, His + name be praised.” + </p> + <p> + As to whether she suspected anything or not, the history is silent and + makes no mention, but perhaps she learned that her husband was not to be + hood-winked. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0017" id="linklinkimage-0017"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/20.jpg" width="100%" alt="20.jpg" + title=" The Husband As Doctor. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0021" id="linklink2H_4_0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="20pg (132K)" src="images/20pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTIETH — THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR. + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a young squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never + mounted a Christian creature,—much to his wife’s regret. And of + the method her mother found to instruct him, and how the said squire + suddenly wept at a great feast that was made shortly after he had + learned how to perform the carnal act—as you will hear more + plainly hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is well known that in the province of Champagne you are sure to meet + heavy and dull-witted persons—which has seemed strange to many + persons, seeing that the district is so near to the country of Mischief. + (*) Many stories could be told of the stupidity of the Champenois, but + this present story will suffice. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) <i>Mal-Eugen</i> in the original. The author probably means + Picardy or Lorraine. +</pre> + <p> + In this province, there lived a young man, an orphan, who at the death of + his father and mother had become rich and powerful. He was stupid, + ignorant, and disagreeable, but hard-working and knew well how to take + care of himself and his affairs, and for this reason, many persons,—even + people of condition,—were willing to give him their daughter in + marriage. + </p> + <p> + One of these damsels, above all others, pleased the friends and relations + of our Champenois, for her beauty, goodness, riches, and so forth. They + told him that it was time he married. + </p> + <p> + “You are now,” they said, “twenty-three years old, and there could not be + a better time. And if you will listen to us, we have searched out for you + a fair and good damsel who seems to us just suited to you. It is such an + one—you know her well;” and they told him her name. + </p> + <p> + The young man, who cared little whether he was married or not, as long as + he lost no money by it, replied that he would do whatever they wished. + “Since you think it will be to my advantage, manage the business the best + way you can, and I will follow your advice and instructions.” + </p> + <p> + “You say well,” replied these good people. “We will select your wife as + carefully as though it were for ourselves, or one of our children.” + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, a little time afterwards our Champenois was married; + but on the first night, when he was sleeping with his wife, he, never + having mounted on any Christian woman, soon turned his back to her, and a + few poor kisses was all she had of him, but nothing on her back. You may + guess his wife was not well pleased at this; nevertheless, she concealed + her discontent. + </p> + <p> + This unsatisfactory state of things lasted ten days, and would have + continued longer if the girl’s mother had not put a stop to it. + </p> + <p> + It should be known to you that the young man was unskilled in the + mysteries of wedlock, for during the lifetime of his parents he had been + kept with a tight hand, and, above all things, had been forbidden to play + at the beast with two backs, lest he should take too much delight therein, + and waste all his patrimony. This was wise of his parents, for he was not + a young man likely to be loved for his good looks. + </p> + <p> + As he would do nothing to anger his father or mother, and was, moreover, + not of an amorous disposition, he had always preserved his chastity, + though his wife would willingly have deprived him of it, if she had known + how to do so honestly. + </p> + <p> + One day the mother of the bride came to her daughter, and asked her all + about her husband’s state and condition, and the thousand other things + which women like to know. To all of these questions the bride replied that + her husband was a good man, and she hoped and believed that she would be + happy with him. + </p> + <p> + But the old woman knew by her own experience that there are more things in + married life than eating and drinking, so she said to her daughter; + </p> + <p> + “Come here, and tell me, on your word of honour, how does he acquit + himself at night?” + </p> + <p> + When the girl heard this question she was so vexed and ashamed that she + could not reply, and her eyes filled with tears. Her mother understood + what these tears meant, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Do not weep, my child! Speak out boldly! I am your mother, and you ought + not to conceal anything from me, or be afraid of telling me. Has he done + nothing to you yet?” + </p> + <p> + The poor girl, having partly recovered, and being re-assured by her + mother’s words, ceased her tears, but yet could make no reply. Thereupon, + her mother asked again; + </p> + <p> + “Lay aside your grief and answer me honestly: has he done nothing to you + yet?” + </p> + <p> + In a low voice, mingled with tears, the girl replied, “On my word, mother, + he has never yet touched me, but, except for that, there is no more kind + or affectionate man.” + </p> + <p> + “Tell me,” said the mother; “do you know if he is properly furnished with + all his members? Speak out boldly, if you know.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! he is all right in that respect,” replied the bride. “I have + often, by chance, felt his luggage as I turned to and fro in our bed when + I could not sleep.” + </p> + <p> + “That is enough,” said the mother; “leave the rest to me. This is what <i>you</i> + must do. In the morning you must pretend to be very ill—even as + though your soul were departing from your body. Your husband will, I fully + expect, seek me out and bid me come to you, and I will play my part so + well that your business will be soon settled, for I shall take your water + to a certain doctor, who will give such advice as I order.” + </p> + <p> + All was done as arranged, for on the morrow, as soon as it was dawn, the + girl, who was sleeping with her husband, began to complain and to sham + sickness as though a strong fever racked her body. + </p> + <p> + Her booby husband was much vexed and astonished, and knew not what to say + or do. He sent forthwith for his mother-in-law, who was not long in + coming. As soon as he saw her, “Alas! mother!” said he, “your daughter is + dying.” + </p> + <p> + “My daughter?” said she. “What does she want?” and whilst she was speaking + she walked to the patient’s chamber. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the mother saw her daughter, she asked what was the matter; and + the girl, being well instructed what she was to do, answered not at first, + but, after a little time, said, “Mother, I am dying.” + </p> + <p> + “You shall not die, please God! Take courage! But how comes it that you + are taken ill so suddenly?” + </p> + <p> + “I do not know! I do not know!” replied the girl. “It drives me wild to + answer all these questions.” + </p> + <p> + The old woman took the girl’s hand, and felt her pulse; then she said to + her son-in-law; + </p> + <p> + “On my word she is very ill. She is full of fire, and we must find some + remedy. Have you any of her water?” + </p> + <p> + “That which she made last night is there,” said one of the attendants. + </p> + <p> + “Give it me,” said the mother. + </p> + <p> + She took the urine, and put it in a proper vessel, and told her son-in-law + that she was about to show it to such-and-such a doctor, that he might + know what he could do to her daughter to cure her. + </p> + <p> + “For God’s sake spare nothing,” said she. “I have yet some money left, but + I love my daughter better than money.” + </p> + <p> + “Spare!” quoth he. “If money can help, you shall not want.” + </p> + <p> + “No need to go so fast,” said she. “Whilst she is resting, I will go home; + but I will come back if I am wanted.” + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the old woman had on the previous day, when she + left her daughter, instructed the doctor, who was well aware of what he + ought to say. So the young man carried his wife’s water to the doctor, and + when he had saluted him, related how sick and suffering his wife was. + </p> + <p> + “And I have brought you some of her water that you may judge how ill she + is, and more easily cure her.” + </p> + <p> + The doctor took the vessel of urine, and turned it about and examined it, + then said; + </p> + <p> + “Your wife is afflicted with a sore malady, and is in danger of dying + unless help be forthcoming; her water shows it.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, master, for God’s sake tell me what to do, and I will pay you well if + you can restore her to health, and prevent her from dying.” + </p> + <p> + “She need not die,” said the doctor; “but unless you make haste, all the + money in the world will not save her life.” + </p> + <p> + “Tell me, for God’s sake,” said the other, “what to do, and I will do it.” + </p> + <p> + “She must,” said the doctor, “have connection with a man, or she will + die.” + </p> + <p> + “Connection with a man?” said the other, “What is that?” + </p> + <p> + “That is to say,” continued the doctor, “that you must mount on the top of + her, and speedily ram her three or four times, or more if you can; for, if + not, the great heat which is consuming her will not be put out.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! will that be good for her?” + </p> + <p> + “There is no chance of her living,” said the doctor, “if you do not do it, + and quickly too.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John,” said the other, “I will try what I can do.” + </p> + <p> + With that he went home and found his wife, who was groaning and lamenting + loudly. + </p> + <p> + “How are you, my dear?” said he. + </p> + <p> + “I am dying, my dear,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “You shall not die, please God,” said he. “I have seen the doctor, who has + told me what medicine will cure you,” and as he spoke, he undressed + himself, and lay down by his wife, and began to execute the orders he had + received from the doctor. + </p> + <p> + “What are you doing?” said she. “Do you want to kill me?” + </p> + <p> + “No! I am going to cure you,” he replied. “The doctor said so;” and Nature + instructing him, and the patient helping, he performed on her two or three + times. + </p> + <p> + When he was resting from his labours, much astonished at what had + happened, he asked his wife how she was? + </p> + <p> + “I am a little better than I was before;” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “God be praised,” said he. “I hope you will get well and that the doctor + told me truly:” and with that he began again. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, he performed so well that his wife was cured in a + few days, at which he was very joyful, and so was her mother when she knew + it. + </p> + <p> + The young man after this became a better fellow than he was before, and + his wife being now restored to health, he one day invited all his + relations and friends to dinner, and also the father and mother of his + wife, and he served grand cheer after his own fashion. They drank to him, + and he drank to them, and he was marvellous good company. + </p> + <p> + But hear what happened to him: in the midst of the dinner he began to + weep, which much astonished all his friends who were at table with him, + and they demanded what was the matter, but he could not reply for weeping + scalding tears. At last he spoke, and said; + </p> + <p> + “I have good cause to weep.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath you have not,” replied his mother-in-law. “What ails you? You + are rich and powerful, and well housed, and have good friends; and you + must not forget that you have a fair and good wife whom God brought back + to health when she was on the edge of the grave. In my opinion you ought + to be light-hearted and joyful.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said he, “woe is me! My father and mother, who both loved me, and + who amassed and left me so much wealth, are both dead, and by my fault, + for they died of a fever, and if I had well towzled them both when they + were ill, as I did to my wife, they would still be on their feet.” + </p> + <p> + There was no one at table who, on hearing this, would not have liked to + laugh, nevertheless they restrained themselves as best they could. The + tables were removed, and each went his way, and the young man continued to + live with his wife, and—in order that she might continue in good + health—he failed not to tail her pretty often. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0022" id="linklink2H_4_0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="21pg (118K)" src="images/21pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-FIRST — THE ABBESS CURED <a href="#linklinknote-21" name="linklinknoteref-21" id="linklinknoteref-21">21</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of an abbess who was ill for want of—you know what—but + would not have it done, fearing to be reproached by her nuns, but they + all agreed to do the same and most willingly did so.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In Normandy there is a fair nunnery, the Abbess of which was young, fair, + and well-made. It chanced that she fell ill. The good sisters who were + charitable and devout, hastened to visit her, and tried to comfort her, + and do all that lay in their power. And when they found she was getting no + better, they commanded one of the sisters to go to Rouen, and take her + water to a renowned doctor of that place. + </p> + <p> + So the next day one of the nuns started on this errand, and when she + arrived there she showed the water to the physician, and described at + great length the illness of the Lady Abbess, how she slept, ate, drank, + etc. + </p> + <p> + The learned doctor understood the case, both from his examination of the + water, and the information given by the nun, and then he gave his + prescription. + </p> + <p> + Now I know that it is the custom in many cases to give a prescription in + writing, nevertheless this time he gave it by word of mouth, and said to + the nun; + </p> + <p> + “Fair sister, for the abbess to recover her health there is but one + remedy, and that is that she must have company with a man; otherwise in a + short time she will grew so bad that death will be the only remedy.” + </p> + <p> + Our nun was much astonished to hear such sad news, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Alas! Master John! is there no other method by which our abbess can + recover her health?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not,” he replied; “there is no other, and moreover, you must + make haste to do as I have bid you, for if the disease is not stopped and + takes its course, there is no man living who could cure it.” + </p> + <p> + The good nun, though much disconcerted, made haste to announce the news to + the Abbess, and by the aid of her stout cob, and the great desire she had + to be at home, made such speed that the abbess was astonished to see her + returned. + </p> + <p> + “What says the doctor, my dear?” cried the abbess. “Is there any fear of + death?” + </p> + <p> + “You will be soon in good health if God so wills, madam,” said the + messenger. “Be of good cheer, and take heart.” + </p> + <p> + “What! has not the doctor ordered me any medicine?” said the Abbess. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” was the reply, and then the nun related how the doctor had looked + at her water, and asked her age, and how she ate and slept, etc. “And then + in conclusion he ordered that you must have, somehow or other, carnal + connection with some man, or otherwise you will shortly be dead, for there + is no other remedy for your complaint.” + </p> + <p> + “Connection with a man!” cried the lady. “I would rather die a thousand + times if it were possible.” And then she went on, “Since it is thus, and + my illness is incurable and deadly unless I take such a remedy, let God be + praised! I will die willingly. Call together quickly all the convent!” + </p> + <p> + The bell was rung, and all the nuns flocked round the Abbess, and, when + they were all in the chamber, the Abbess, who still had the use of her + tongue, however ill she was, began a long speech concerning the state of + the church, and in what condition she had found it and how she left it, + and then went on to speak of her illness, which was mortal and incurable + as she well knew and felt, and as such and such a physician had also + declared. + </p> + <p> + “And so, my dear sisters, I recommend to you our church, and that you pray + for my poor soul.” + </p> + <p> + At these words, tears in great abundance welled from all eyes, and the + heart’s fountain of the convent was moved. This weeping lasted long, and + none of the company spoke. + </p> + <p> + After some time, the Prioress, who was wise and good, spoke for all the + convent, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Madam, your illness—what it is, God, from whom nothing is hidden, + alone knows—vexes us greatly, and there is not one of us who would + not do all in her power to aid your recovery. We therefore pray you to + spare nothing, not even the goods of the Church, for it would be better + for us to lose the greater part of our temporal goods than be deprived of + the spiritual profit which your presence gives us.” + </p> + <p> + “My good sister,” said the Abbess, “I have not deserved your kind offer, + but I thank you as much as I can, and again advise and beg of you to take + care of the Church—as I have already said—for it is a matter + which concerns me closely, God knows; and pray also for my poor soul, + which hath great need of your prayers.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, madam,” said the Prioress, “is it not possible that by great care, + or the diligent attention of some physician, that you might be restored to + health?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, my good sister,” replied the Abbess. “You must number me among + the dead—for I am hardly alive now, though I can still talk to you.” + </p> + <p> + Then stepped forth the nun who had carried the water to Rouen, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Madam, there is a remedy if you would but try it.” “I do not choose to,” + replied the Abbess. “Here is sister Joan, who has returned from Rouen, and + has shown my water, and related my symptoms, to such and such a physician, + who has declared that I shall die unless I suffer some man to approach me + and have connection with me. By this means he hopes, and his books + informed him, that I should escape death; but if I did not do as he bade + me, there was no help for me. But as for me, I thank God that He has + deigned to call me, though I have sinned much. I yield myself to His will, + and my body is prepared for death, let it come when it may.” + </p> + <p> + “What, madam!” said the infirmary nun, “would you murder yourself? It is + in your power to save yourself, and you have but to put forth your hand + and ask for aid, and you will find it ready! That is not right; and I even + venture to tell you that you are imperilling your soul if you die in that + condition.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear sister,” said the Abbess, “how many times have I told you that it + is better for a person to die than commit a deadly sin. You know that I + cannot avoid death except by committing a deadly sin. Also I feel sure + that even by prolonging my life by this means, I should be dishonoured for + ever, and a reproach to all. Folks would say of me, ‘There is the lady who + ——‘. + </p> + <p> + “All of you,—however you may advise me—would cease to + reverence and love me, for I should seem—and with good cause—unworthy + to preside over and govern you.” + </p> + <p> + “You must neither say nor think that,” said the Treasurer. “There is + nothing that we should not attempt to avoid death. Does not our good + father, St. Augustine, say that it is not permissible to anyone to take + his own life, nor to cut off one of his limbs? And are you not acting in + direct opposition to his teaching, if you allow yourself to die when you + could easily prevent it?” + </p> + <p> + “She says well!” cried all the sisters in chorus. “Madam, for God’s sake + obey the physician, and be not so obstinate in your own opinion as to lose + both your body and soul, and leave desolate, and deprived of your care, + the convent where you are so much loved.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear sisters,” replied the Abbess, “I much prefer to bow my head to + death than to live dishonoured. And would you not all say—‘There is + the woman who did so and so’.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not worry yourself with what people would say: you would never be + reproached by good and respectable people.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I should be,” replied the Abbess. + </p> + <p> + The nuns were greatly moved, and retired and held a meeting, and passed a + resolution, which the Prioress was charged to deliver to the Abbess, which + she did in the following words. + </p> + <p> + “Madam, the nuns are greatly grieved,—for never was any convent more + troubled than this is, and you are the cause. We believe that you are + ill-advised in allowing yourself to die when we are sure you could avoid + it. And, in order that you should comprehend our loyal and single-hearted + love for you, we have decided and concluded in a general assembly, to save + you and ourselves, and if you have connection secretly with some + respectable man, we will do the same, in order that you may not think or + imagine that in time to come you can be reproached by any of us. Is it not + so, my sisters?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” they all shouted most willingly. + </p> + <p> + The Abbess heard the speech, and was much moved by the testimony of the + love the sisters bore her, and consented, though with much regret, that + the doctor’s advice should be carried out. Monks, priests, and clerks were + sent for, and they found plenty of work to do, and they worked so well + that the Abbess was soon cured, at which the nuns were right joyous. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0023" id="linklink2H_4_0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="22pg (128K)" src="images/22pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-SECOND — THE CHILD WITH TWO FATHERS. <a + href="#linklinknote-22" name="linklinknoteref-22" id="linklinknoteref-22">22</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Caron. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman who seduced a young girl, and then went away and + joined the army. And before his return she made the acquaintance of + another, and pretended her child was by him. When the gentleman returned + from the war he claimed the child, but she begged him to leave it with + her second lover, promising that the next she had she would give to him, + as is hereafter recorded.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Formerly there was a gentleman living at Bruges who was so often and so + long in the company of a certain pretty girl that at last he made her + belly swell. + </p> + <p> + And about the same time that he was aware of this, the Duke called + together his men-at-arms, and our gentleman was forced to abandon his + lady-love and go with others to serve the said lord, which he willingly + did. But, before leaving, he provided sponsors and a nurse against the + time his child should come into the world, and lodged the mother with good + people to whose care he recommended her, and left money for her. And when + he had done all this as quickly as he could, he took leave of his lady, + and promised that, if God pleased, he would return quickly. + </p> + <p> + You may fancy if she wept when she found that he whom she loved better + than any one in the world, was going away. She could not at first speak, + so much did her tears oppress her heart, but at last she grew calmer when + she saw that there was nothing else to be done. + </p> + <p> + About a month after the departure of her lover, desire burned in her + heart, and she remembered the pleasures she had formerly enjoyed, and of + which the unfortunate absence of her friend now deprived her. The God of + Love, who is never idle, whispered to her of the virtues and riches of a + certain merchant, a neighbour, who many times, both before and since the + departure of her lover, had solicited her love, so that she decided that + if he ever returned to the charge he should not be sent away discouraged, + and that even if she met him in the street she would behave herself in + such a way as would let him see that she liked him. + </p> + <p> + Now it happened that the day after she arrived at this determination, + Cupid sent round the merchant early in the morning to present her with + dogs and birds and other gifts, which those who seek after women are + always ready to present. + </p> + <p> + He was not rebuffed, for if he was willing to attack she was not the less + ready to surrender, and prepared to give him even more than he dared to + ask; for she found in him such chivalry, prowess, and virtue that she + quite forgot her old lover, who at that time suspected nothing. + </p> + <p> + The good merchant was much pleased with his new lady, and they so loved + each other, and their wills, desires, and thoughts so agreed, that it was + as though they had but a single heart between them. They could not be + content until they were living together, so one night the wench packed up + all her belongings and went to the merchant’s house, thus abandoning her + old lover, her landlord and his wife, and a number of other good people to + whose care she had been recommended. + </p> + <p> + She was not a fool, and as soon as she found herself well lodged, she told + the merchant she was pregnant, at which he was very joyful, believing that + he was the cause; and in about seven months the wench brought forth a fine + boy, and the adoptive father was very fond both of the child and its + mother. + </p> + <p> + A certain time afterwards the gentleman returned from the war, and came to + Bruges, and as soon as he decently could, took his way to the house where + he had left his mistress, and asked news of her from those whom he had + charged to lodge her and clothe her, and aid her in her confinement. + </p> + <p> + “What!” they said. “Do you not know? Have you not had the letters which + were written to you?” + </p> + <p> + “No, by my oath,” said he. “What has happened?’ + </p> + <p> + “Holy Mary!” they replied, “you have good reason to ask. You had not been + gone more than a month when she packed up her combs and mirrors and betook + herself to the house of a certain merchant, who is greatly attached to + her. And, in fact, she has there been brought to bed of a fine boy. The + merchant has had the child christened, and believes it to be his own.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! that is something new,” said the gentleman, “but, since she + is that sort of a woman, she may go to the devil. The merchant may have + her and keep her, but as for the child I am sure it is mine, and I want + it.” + </p> + <p> + Thereupon he went and knocked loudly at the door of the merchant’s house. + By chance, the lady was at home and opened the door, and when she + recognised the lover she had deserted, they were both astonished. + Nevertheless, he asked her how she came in that place, and she replied + that Fortune had brought her there. + </p> + <p> + “Fortune?” said he; “Well then, fortune may keep you; but I want my child. + Your new master may have the cow, but I will have the calf; so give it to + me at once, for I will have it whatever may happen.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said the wench, “what will my man say? I shall be disgraced, for + he certainly believes the child is his.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t care what he thinks,” replied the other, “but he shall not have + what is mine.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my friend, I beg and request of you to leave the merchant this child; + you will do him a great service and me also. And by God! you will not be + tempted to have the child when once you have seen him, for he is an ugly, + awkward boy, all scrofulous and mis-shapen.” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever he is,” replied the other, “he is mine, and I will have him.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t talk so loud, for God’s sake!” said the wench, “and be calm, I beg! + And if you will only leave me this child, I promise you that I will give + you the next I have.” + </p> + <p> + Angry as the gentleman was, he could not help smiling at hearing these + words, so he said no more and went away, and never again demanded the + child, which was brought up by the merchant. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0018" id="linklinkimage-0018"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/23.jpg" width="100%" alt="23.jpg" + title="The Lawyer’s Wife Who Passed The Line. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0024" id="linklink2H_4_0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="23pg (137K)" src="images/23pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-THIRD — THE LAWYER’S WIFE WHO PASSED THE LINE. <a + href="#linklinknote-23" name="linklinknoteref-23" id="linklinknoteref-23">23</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Commesuram. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a clerk of whom his mistress was enamoured, and what he promised + to do and did to her if she crossed a line which the said clerk had + made. Seeing which, her little son told his father when he returned that + he must not cross the line; or said he, “the clerk will serve you as he + did mother.”</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Formerly there lived in the town of Mons, in Hainault, a lawyer of a ripe + old age, who had, amongst his other clerks, a good-looking and amiable + youth, with whom the lawyer’s wife fell deeply in love, for it appeared to + her that he was much better fitted to do her business than her husband + was. + </p> + <p> + She decided that she would behave in such a way that, unless he were more + stupid than an ass, he would know what she wanted of him; and, to carry + out her design, this lusty wench, who was young, fresh, and buxom, often + brought her sewing to where the clerk was, and talked to him of a hundred + thousand matters, most of them about love. + </p> + <p> + And during all this talk she did not forget to practise little tricks: + sometimes she would knock his elbow when he was writing; another time she + threw gravel and spoiled his work, so that he was forced to write it all + over again. Another time also she recommenced these tricks, and took away + his paper and parchment, so that he could not work,—at which he was + not best pleased, fearing that his master would be angry. + </p> + <p> + For a long time his mistress practised these tricks, but he being young, + and his eyes not opened, he did not at first see what she intended; + nevertheless at last he concluded he was in her good books. + </p> + <p> + Not long after he arrived at this conclusion, it chanced that the lawyer + being out of the house, his wife came to the clerk to teaze him as was her + custom, and worried him more than usual, nudging him, talking to him, + preventing him from working, and hiding his paper, ink &c. + </p> + <p> + Our clerk more knowing than formerly, and seeing what all this meant, + sprang to his feet, attacked his mistress and drove her back, and begged + of her to allow him to write—but she who asked for nothing better + than a tussle, was not inclined to discontinue. + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, madam,” said he, “that I must finish this writing which I + have begun? I therefore ask of you to let me alone or, morbleu, I will pay + you out.” + </p> + <p> + “What would you do, my good lad?” said she. “Make ugly faces?” + </p> + <p> + “No, by God!* + </p> + <p> + “What then?” + </p> + <p> + “What?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, tell me what!” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said he, “since you have upset my inkstand, and crumpled my + writing, I will well crumple your parchment, and that I may not be + prevented from writing by want of ink, I will dip into your inkstand.” + </p> + <p> + “By my soul,” quoth she, “you are not the man to do it. Do you think I am + afraid of you?” + </p> + <p> + “It does not matter what sort of man I am,” said the clerk, “but if you + worry me any more, I am man enough to make you pay for it. Look here! I + will draw a line on the floor, and by God, if you overstep it, be it ever + so little, I wish I may die if I do not make you pay dearly for it.” + </p> + <p> + “By my word,” said she, “I am not afraid of you, and I will pass the line + and see what you will do,” and so saying the merry hussy made a little + jump which took her well over the line. + </p> + <p> + The clerk grappled with her, and threw her down on a bench, and punished + her well, for if she had rumpled him outside and openly, he rumpled her + inside and secretly. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that there was present at the time a young child, about + two years old, the son of the lawyer. It need not be said either, that + after this first passage of arms between the clerk and his mistress, there + were many more secret encounters between them, with less talk and more + action than on the first occasion. + </p> + <p> + You must know too that, a few days after this adventure, the little child + was in the office where the clerk was writing, when there came in the + lawyer, the master of the house, who walked across the room to his clerk, + to see what he wrote, or for some other matter, and as he approached the + line which the clerk had drawn for his wife, and which still remained on + the floor, his little son cried, + </p> + <p> + “Father, take care you do not cross the line, or the clerk will lay you + down and tumble you as he did mother a few days ago.” + </p> + <p> + The lawyer heard the remark, and saw the line, but knew not what to think; + but if he remembered that fools, drunkards, and children always tell the + truth, at all events he made no sign, and it has never come to my + knowledge that he ever did so, either through want of confirmation of his + suspicions, or because he feared to make a scandal. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0025" id="linklink2H_4_0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="24pg (140K)" src="images/24pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-FOURTH — HALF-BOOTED. <a href="#linklinknote-24" name="linklinknoteref-24" id="linklinknoteref-24">24</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Fiennes. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a Count who would ravish by force a fair, young girl who was one + of his subjects, and how she escaped from him by means of his leggings, + and how he overlooked her conduct and helped her to a husband, as is + hereafter related.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I know that in many of the stories already related the names of the + persons concerned are not stated, but I desire to give, in my little + history, the name of Comte Valerien, who was in his time Count of St. Pol, + and was called “the handsome Count”. Amongst his other lordships, he was + lord of a village in the district of Lille, called Vrelenchem, about a + league distant from Lille. + </p> + <p> + This gentle Count, though of a good and kind nature, was very amorous. He + learned by report from one of his retainers, who served him in these + matters, that at the said Vrelenchem there resided a very pretty girl of + good condition. He was not idle in these matters, and soon after he heard + the news, he was in that village, and with his own eyes confirmed the + report that his faithful servants had given him concerning the said + maiden. + </p> + <p> + “The next thing to be done,” said the noble Count, “is that I must speak + to her alone, no matter what it may cost me.” + </p> + <p> + One of his followers, who was a doctor by profession, said, “My lord, for + your honour and that of the maiden also, it seems to me better that I + should make known to her your will, and you can frame your conduct + according to the reply that I receive.” + </p> + <p> + He did as he said, and went to the fair maiden and saluted her + courteously, and she, who was as wise as she was fair and good, politely + returned his salute. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, after a few ordinary phrases, the worthy messenger + preached much about the possessions and the honours of his master, and + told her that if she liked she would be the means of enriching all her + family. + </p> + <p> + The fair damsel knew what o’clock it was. (*) Her reply was like herself—fair + and good—for it was that she would obey, fear, and serve the Count + in anything that did not concern her honour, but that she held as dear as + her life. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A literal translation. La bonne fille entendit tantost + quelle heure il estoit. +</pre> + <p> + The one who was astonished and vexed at this reply was our go-between, who + returned disappointed to his master, his embassy having failed. It need + not be said that the Count was not best pleased at hearing of this proud + and harsh reply made by the woman he loved better than anyone in the + world, and whose person he wished to enjoy. But he said, “Let us leave her + alone for the present. I shall devise some plan when she thinks I have + forgotten her.” + </p> + <p> + He left there soon afterwards, and did not return until six weeks had + passed, and, when he did return it was very quietly, and he kept himself + private, and his presence unknown. + </p> + <p> + He learned from his spies one day that the fair maiden was cutting grass + at the edge of a wood, and aloof from all company; at which he was very + joyful, and, all booted as he was, set out for the place in company with + his spies. And when he came near to her whom he sought, he sent away his + company, and stole close to her before she was aware of his presence. + </p> + <p> + She was astonished and confused, and no wonder, to see the Count so close + to her, and she turned pale and could not speak, for she knew by report + that he was a bold and dangerous man to women. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, fair damsel,” said the Count, “you are wondrous proud! One is obliged + to lay siege to you. Now defend yourself as best you can, for there will + be a battle between us, and, before I leave, you shall suffer by my will + and desire, all the pains that I have suffered and endured for love of + you.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, my lord!” said the young girl, who was frightened and surprised. “I + ask your mercy! If I have said or done anything that may displease you, I + ask your pardon; though I do not think I have said or done anything for + which you should owe me a grudge. I do not know what report was made of + me. Dishonourable proposals were made to me in your name, but I did not + believe them, for I deem you so virtuous that on no account would you + dishonour one of your poor, humble subjects like me, but on the contrary + protect her.” + </p> + <p> + “Drop this talk!” said my lord, “and be sure that you shall not escape me. + I told you why I sent to you, and of the good I intended to do you,” and + without another word, he seized her in his arms, and threw her down on a + heap of grass which was there, and pressed her closely, and quickly made + all preparations to accomplish his desire. + </p> + <p> + The young girl, who saw that she was on the point of losing that which she + held most precious, bethought her of a trick, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my lord, I surrender! I will do whatever you like, and without + refusal or contradiction, but it would be better that you should do with + me whatever you will by my free consent, than by force and against my will + accomplish your intent.” + </p> + <p> + “At any rate,” said my lord, “you shall not escape me! What is it you + want?” + </p> + <p> + “I would beg of you,” said she, “to do me the honour not to dirty me with + your leggings, which are greasy and dirty, and which you do not require.” + </p> + <p> + “What can I do with them?” asked my lord. + </p> + <p> + “I will take them off nicely for you,” said she, “if you please; for by my + word, I have neither heart nor courage to welcome you if you wear those + mucky leggings.” + </p> + <p> + “The leggings do not make much difference,” said my lord, “nevertheless if + you wish it, they shall be taken off.” + </p> + <p> + Then he let go of her, and seated himself on the grass, and stretched out + his legs, and the fair damsel took off his spurs, and then tugged at one + of his leggings, which were very tight. And when with much difficulty she + had got it half off, she ran away as fast as her legs could carry her with + her will assisting, and left the noble Count, and never ceased running + until she was in her father’s house. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0019" id="linklinkimage-0019"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/24.jpg" width="100%" alt="24.jpg" title=" Half-booted " /> + </div> + <p> + The worthy lord who was thus deceived was in as great a rage as he could + be. With much trouble he got on his feet, thinking that if he stepped on + his legging he could pull it off, but it was no good, it was too tight, + and there was nothing for him to do but return to his servants. He did not + go very far before he found his retainers waiting for him by the side of a + ditch; they did not know what to think when they saw him in that disarray. + He related his story, and they put his boots on for him, and if you had + heard him you would have thought that she who thus deceived him was not + long for this world, he so cursed and threatened her. + </p> + <p> + But angry as he was for a time, his anger soon cooled, and was converted + into sincere respect. Indeed he afterwards provided for her, and married + her at his own cost and expense to a rich and good husband, on account of + her frankness and loyalty. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0026" id="linklink2H_4_0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="25pg (128K)" src="images/25pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-FIFTH — FORCED WILLINGLY. <a href="#linklinknote-25" name="linklinknoteref-25" id="linklinknoteref-25">25</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Saint-Yon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a girl who complained of being forced by a young man, whereas she + herself had helped him to find that which he sought;—and of the + judgment which was given thereon.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + The incident on which I found my story happened so recently that I need + not alter, nor add to, nor suppress, the facts. There recently came to the + provost at Quesnay, a fair wench, to complain of the force and violence + she had suffered owing to the uncontrollable lust of a young man. The + complaint being laid before the provost, the young man accused of this + crime was seized, and as the common people say, was already looked upon as + food for the gibbet, or the headsman’s axe. + </p> + <p> + The wench, seeing and knowing that he of whom she had complained was in + prison, greatly pestered the provost that justice might be done her, + declaring that without her will and consent, she had by force been + violated and dishonoured. + </p> + <p> + The provost, who was a discreet and wise man, and very experienced in + judicial matters, assembled together all the notables and chief men, and + commanded the prisoner to be brought forth, and he having come before the + persons assembled to judge him, was asked whether he would confess, by + torture or otherwise, the horrible crime laid to his charge, and the + provost took him aside and adjured him to tell the truth. + </p> + <p> + “Here is such and such a woman,” said he, “who complains bitterly that you + have forced her. Is it so? Have you forced her? Take care that you tell + the truth, for if you do not you will die, but if you do you will be + pardoned.” + </p> + <p> + “On my oath, provost,” replied the prisoner, “I will not conceal from you + that I have often sought her love. And, in fact, the day before yesterday, + after a long talk together, I laid her upon the bed, to do you know what, + and pulled up her dress, petticoat, and chemise. But my weasel could not + find her rabbit hole, and went now here now there, until she kindly showed + it the right road, and with her own hands pushed it in. I am sure that it + did not come out till it had found its prey, but as to force, by my oath + there was none.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that true?” asked the provost. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, on my oath,” answered the young man. + </p> + <p> + “Very good,” said he, “we shall soon arrange matters.” + </p> + <p> + After these words, the provost took his seat in the pontifical chair, + surrounded by all the notable persons; and the young man was seated on a + small bench in front of the judges, and all the people, and of her who + accused him. + </p> + <p> + ‘“Now, my dear,” said the provost, “what have you to say about the + prisoner?” + </p> + <p> + “Provost!” said she, “I complain that he has forced me and violated me + against my will and in spite of me. Therefore I demand justice.” + </p> + <p> + “What have you to say in reply?” asked the provost of the prisoner. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,” he replied, “I have already told how it happened, and I do not + think she can contradict me.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear!” said the provost to the girl, “think well of what you are + saying! You complain of being forced. It is a very serious charge! He says + that he did not use any force, but that you consented, and indeed almost + asked for what you got. And if he speaks truly, you yourself directed his + weasel, which was wandering about near your rabbit-hole, and with your two + hands—or at least with one—pushed the said weasel into your + burrow. Which thing he could never have done without your help, and if you + had resisted but ever so little he would never have effected his purpose. + If his weasel was allowed to rummage in your burrow, that is not his + fault, and he is not punishable.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Provost,” said the girl plaintively, “what do you mean by that? It is + quite true, and I will not deny it, that I conducted his weasel into my + burrow—but why did I do so? By my oath, Sir, its head was so stiff, + and its muzzle so hard, that I was sure that it would make a large cut, or + two or three, on my belly, if I did not make haste and put it where it + could do little harm—and that is what I did.” + </p> + <p> + You may fancy what a burst of laughter there was at the end of this trial, + both from the judges and the public. The young man was discharged,—to + continue his rabbit-hunting if he saw fit. + </p> + <p> + The girl was angry that he was not hanged on a high forked tree for having + hung on her “low forks” (*). But this anger and resentment did not last + long, for as I heard afterwards on good authority, peace was concluded + between them, and the youth had the right to ferret in the coney burrow + whenever he felt inclined. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A play upon words, which is not easily translatable, in + allusion to the gallows. +</pre> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0027" id="linklink2H_4_0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="26pg (122K)" src="images/26pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-SIXTH — THE DAMSEL KNIGHT. <a + href="#linklinknote-26" name="linklinknoteref-26" id="linklinknoteref-26">26</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Foquessoles. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of the loves of a young gentleman and a damsel, who tested the + loyalty of the gentleman in a marvellous and courteous manner, and slept + three nights with him without his knowing that it was not a man,—as + you will more fully hear hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the duchy of Brabant—not so long ago but that the memory of it is + fresh in the present day—happened a strange thing, which is worthy + of being related, and is not unfit to furnish a story. And in order that + it should be publicly known and reported, here is the tale. + </p> + <p> + In the household of a great baron of the said country there lived and + resided a young, gracious, and kind gentleman, named Gerard, who was + greatly in love with a damsel of the said household, named Katherine. And + when he found opportunity, he ventured to tell her of his piteous case. + Most people will be able to guess the answer he received, and therefore, + to shorten matters, I omit it here. + </p> + <p> + In due time Gerard and Katherine loved each other so warmly that there was + but one heart and one will between them. This loyal and perfect love + endured no little time—indeed two years passed away. Love, who + blinds the eyes of his disciples, had so blinded these two that they did + not know that this affection, which they thought secret, was perceived by + every one; there was not a man or a woman in the chateau who was not aware + of it—in fact the matter was so noised abroad that all the talk of + the household was of the loves of Gerard and Katherine. + </p> + <p> + These two poor, deluded fools were so much occupied with their own affairs + that they did not suspect their love affairs were discussed by others. + Envious persons, or those whom it did not concern, brought this love + affair to the knowledge of the master and mistress of the two lovers, and + it also came to the ears of the father and mother of Katherine. + </p> + <p> + Katherine was informed by a damsel belonging to the household, who was one + of her friends and companions, that her love for Gerard had been + discovered and revealed both to her father and mother, and also to the + master and mistress of the house. + </p> + <p> + “Alas, what is to be done, my dear sister and friend?” asked Katherine. “I + am lost, now that so many persons know, or guess at, my condition. Advise + me, or I am ruined, and the most unfortunate woman in the world,” and at + these words her eyes filled with tears, which rolled down her fair cheeks + and even fell to the edge of her robe. + </p> + <p> + Her friend was very vexed to see her grief, and tried to console her. + </p> + <p> + “My sister,” she said, “it is foolish to show such great grief; for, thank + God, no one can reproach you with anything that touches your honour or + that of your friends. If you have listened to the vows of a gentleman, + that is not a thing forbidden by the Court of Honour, it is even the path, + the true road, to arrive there. You have no cause for grief, for there is + not a soul living who can bring a charge against you. But, at any rate, I + should advise that, to stop chattering tongues which are discussing your + love affairs, your lover, Gerard, should, without more ado, take leave of + our lord and lady, alleging that he is to set out on a long voyage, or + take part in some war now going on, and, under that excuse, repair to some + house and wait there until God and Cupid have arranged matters. He will + keep you informed by messages how he is, and you will do the same to him; + and by that time the rumours will have ceased, and you can communicate + with one another by letter until better times arrive. And do not imagine + that your love will cease—it will be as great, or greater, than + ever, for during a long time you will only hear from each other + occasionally, and that is one of the surest ways of preserving love.” + </p> + <p> + The kind and good advice of this gentle dame was followed, for as soon as + Katherine found means to speak to her lover, Gerard, she told him how the + secret of their love had been discovered and had come to the knowledge of + her father and mother, and the master and mistress of the house. + </p> + <p> + “And you may believe,” she said, “that it did not reach that point without + much talk on the part of those of the household and many of the + neighbours. And since Fortune is not so friendly to us as to permit us to + live happily as we began, but menaces us with further troubles, it is + necessary to be fore-armed against them. Therefore, as the matter much + concerns me, and still more you, I will tell you my opinion.” + </p> + <p> + With that she recounted at full length the good advice which had been + given by her friend and companion. + </p> + <p> + Gerard, who had expected a misfortune of this kind, replied; + </p> + <p> + “My loyal and dear mistress, I am your humble and obedient servant, and, + except God, I love no one so dearly as you. You may command me to do + anything that seems good to you, and whatever you order shall be joyfully + and willingly obeyed. But, believe me, there is nothing left for me in the + world when once I am removed from your much-wished-for presence. Alas, if + I must leave you, I fear that the first news you will hear will be that of + my sad and pitiful death, caused by your absence, but, be that as it may, + you are the only living person I will obey, and I prefer rather to obey + you and die, than live for ever and disobey you. My body is yours. Cut it, + hack it, do what you like with it!” + </p> + <p> + You may guess that Katherine was grieved and vexed at seeing her lover, + whom she adored more than anyone in the world, thus troubled. Had it not + been for the virtue with which God had largely endowed her, she would have + proposed to accompany him on his travels, but she hoped for happier days, + and refrained from making such a proposal. After a pause, she replied; + </p> + <p> + “My friend you must go away, but do not forget her who has given you her + heart. And that you may have courage in the struggle which is imposed on + you, know that I promise you on my word that as long as I live I will + never marry any man but you of my own free-will, provided that you are + equally loyal and true to me, as I hope you will be. And in proof of this, + I give you this ring, which is of gold enamelled with black tears. If by + chance they would marry me to some one else, I will defend myself so + stoutly that you will be pleased with me, and I will prove to you that I + can keep my promise without flinching from it. And, lastly, I beg of you + that wherever you may stop, you will send me news about yourself, and I + will do the same.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my dear mistress,” said Gerard, “I see plainly that I must leave you + for a time. I pray to God that he will give you more joy and happiness + than I am likely to have. You have kindly given me, though I am not worthy + of it, a noble and honourable promise, for which I cannot sufficiently + thank you. Still less do I deserve it, but I venture in return to make a + similar promise, begging most humbly and with all my heart, that my vow + may have as great a weight as if it came from a much nobler man than I. + Adieu, dearest lady. My eyes demand their turn, and prevent my tongue from + speaking.” + </p> + <p> + With these words he kissed her, and pressed her tightly to his bosom, and + then each went away to think over his or her griefs. + </p> + <p> + God knows that they wept with their eyes, their hearts, and their heads, + but ere they showed themselves, they concealed all traces of their grief, + and put on a semblance of cheerfulness. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, Gerard did so much in a few days that he obtained + leave of absence from his master—which was not very difficult, not + that he had committed any fault, but owing to his love affair with + Katherine, with which her friends were not best pleased, seeing that + Gerard was not of such a good family or so rich as she was, and could not + expect to marry her. + </p> + <p> + So Gerard left, and covered such a distance in one day that he came to + Barrois, where he found shelter in the castle of a great nobleman of the + country; and being safely housed he soon sent news of himself to the lady, + who was very joyful thereat, and by the same messenger wrote to tell him + of her condition, and the goodwill she bore him, and how she would always + be loyal to him. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that as soon as Gerard had left Brabant, many gentlemen, + knights and squires, came to Katherine, desiring above all things to make + her acquaintance, which during the time that Gerard had been there they + had been unable to do, knowing that her heart was already occupied. + </p> + <p> + Indeed many of them demanded her hand in marriage of her father, and + amongst them was one who seemed to him a very suitable match. So he called + together many of his friends, and summoned his fair daughter, and told + them that he was already growing old, and that one of the greatest + pleasures he could have in the world was to see his daughter well married + before he died. Moreover, he said to them; + </p> + <p> + “A certain gentleman has asked for my daughter’s hand, and he seems to me + a suitable match. If your opinion agrees with mine, and my daughter will + obey me, his honourable request will not be rejected.” + </p> + <p> + All his friends and relations approved of the proposed marriage, on + account of the virtues, riches, and other gifts of the said gentleman. But + when they asked the opinion of the fair Katherine, she sought to excuse + herself, and gave several reasons for refusing, or at least postponing + this marriage, but at last she saw that she would be in the bad books of + her father, her mother, her relatives, friends, and her master and + mistress, if she continued to keep her promise to her lover, Gerard. + </p> + <p> + At last she thought of a means by which she could satisfy her parents + without breaking her word to her lover, and said, + </p> + <p> + “My dearest lord and father, I do not wish to disobey you in anything you + may command, but I have made a vow to God, my creator, which I must keep. + Now I have made a resolution and sworn in my heart to God that I would + never marry unless He would of His mercy show me that that condition was + necessary for the salvation of my poor soul. But as I do not wish to be a + trouble to you, I am content to accept this condition of matrimony, or any + other that you please, if you will first give me leave to make a + pilgrimage to the shrine of St. Nicolas at Varengeville (*) which + pilgrimage I vowed and promised to make before I changed my present + condition.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A town of Lorraine, on the Meurthe, about six miles from + Kancy. Pilgrims flocked thither from all parts to worship + the relics of St. Nicolas. +</pre> + <p> + She said this in order that she might see her lover on the road, and tell + him how she was constrained against her will. + </p> + <p> + Her father was rather pleased to hear the wise and dutiful reply of his + daughter. He granted her request, and wished to at once order her retinue, + and spoke to his wife about it when his daughter was present. + </p> + <p> + “We will give her such and such gentlemen, who with Ysabeau, Marguerite + and Jehanneton, will be sufficient for her condition.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my lord,” said Katherine, “if it so please you we will order it + otherwise. You know that the road from here to St. Nicolas is not very + safe, and that when women are to be escorted great precautions must be + taken. I could not go thus without great expense; moreover, the road is + long, and if it happened that we lost either our goods or honour (which + may God forfend) it would be a great misfortune. Therefore it seems good + to me—subject to your good pleasure—that there should be made + for me a man’s dress and that I should be escorted by my uncle, the + bastard, each mounted on a stout horse. We should go much quicker, more + safely, and with less expense, and I should have more confidence than with + a large retinue.” + </p> + <p> + The good lord, having thought over the matter a little while, spoke about + it to his wife, and it seemed to them that the proposal showed much common + sense and dutiful feeling. So everything was prepared for their departure. + </p> + <p> + They set out on their journey, the fair Katherine and her uncle, the + bastard, without any other companion. Katherine, who was dressed in the + German fashion very elegantly, was the master, and her uncle, the bastard, + was the serving man. They made such haste that their pilgrimage was soon + accomplished, as far as St. Nicolas was concerned, and, as they were on + their return journey-praising God for having preserved them, and talking + over various matters Katherine said to her uncle, + </p> + <p> + “Uncle, you know that I am sole heiress to my father, and that I could + bestow many benefits upon you, which I will most willingly do if you will + aid me in a small quest I am about to undertake—that is to go to the + castle of a certain lord of Barrois (whom she named) to see Gerard, whom + you know. And, in order that when we return we may have some news to tell, + we will demand hospitality, and if we obtain it we will stop there for + some days and see the country, and you need be under no fear but that I + shall take care of my honour, as a good girl should.” + </p> + <p> + The uncle, who hoped to be rewarded some day, and knew she was virtuous, + vowed to himself that he would keep an eye upon her, and promised to serve + her and accompany her wherever she wished. He was much thanked no doubt, + and it was then decided that he should call his niece, Conrad. + </p> + <p> + They soon came, as they desired, to the wished-for place, and addressed + themselves to the lord’s major-domo, who was an old knight, and who + received them most joyfully and most honourably. + </p> + <p> + Conrad asked him if the lord, his master, did not wish to have in his + service a young gentleman who was fond of adventures, and desirous of + seeing various countries? + </p> + <p> + The major-domo asked him whence he came, and he replied, from Brabant. + </p> + <p> + “Well then,” said the major-domo, “you shall dine here, and after dinner I + will speak to my lord.” + </p> + <p> + With that he had them conducted to a fair chamber, and ordered the table + to be laid, and a good fire to be lighted, and sent them soup and a piece + of mutton, and white wine while dinner was preparing. + </p> + <p> + Then he went to his master and told him of the arrival of a young + gentleman of Brabant, who wished to serve him, and the lord was content to + take the youth if he wished. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, as soon as he had served his master, he returned to + Conrad to dine with him, and brought with him, because he was of Brabant, + the aforesaid Gerard, and said to Conrad; + </p> + <p> + “Here is a young gentleman who belongs to your country.” + </p> + <p> + “I am glad to meet him,” said Conrad. + </p> + <p> + “And you are very welcome,” replied Gerard. + </p> + <p> + But he did not recognise his lady-love, though she knew him very well. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were making each other’s acquaintance, the meat was brought + in, and each took his place on either hand of the major-domo. + </p> + <p> + The dinner seemed long to Conrad, who hoped afterwards to have some + conversation with her lover, and expected also that she would soon be + recognised either by her voice, or by the replies she made to questions + concerning Brabant; but it happened quite otherwise, for during all the + dinner, the worthy Gerard did not ask after either man or woman in all + Brabant; which Conrad could not at all understand. + </p> + <p> + Dinner passed, and after dinner my lord engaged Conrad in his service; and + the major-domo, who was a thoughtful, experienced man, gave instructions + that as Gerard and Conrad came from the same place, they should share the + same chamber. + </p> + <p> + After this Gerard and Conrad went off arm in arm to look at their horses, + but as far as Gerard was concerned, if he talked about anything it was not + Brabant. Poor Conrad—that is to say the fair Katherine—began + to suspect that she was like forgotten sins, and had gone clean out of + Gerard’s mind; but she could not imagine why, at least, he did not ask + about the lord and lady with whom she lived. The poor girl was, though she + could not show it, in great distress of mind, and did not know what to do; + whether to still conceal her identity, and test him by some cunning + phrases, or to suddenly make herself known. + </p> + <p> + In the end she decided that she would still remain Conrad, and say nothing + about Katherine unless Gerard should alter his manner. + </p> + <p> + The evening passed as the dinner had done, and when they came to their + chamber, Gerard and Conrad spoke of many things, but not of the one + subject pleasing to the said Conrad. When he saw that the other only + replied in the words that were put into his mouth, she asked of what + family he was in Brabant, and why he left there, and where he was when he + was there, and he replied as it seemed good to him. + </p> + <p> + “And do you not know,” she said, “such and such a lord, and such another?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John, yes!” he replied. + </p> + <p> + Finally, she named the lord at whose castle she had lived; and he replied + that he knew him well, but not saying that he had lived there, or ever + been there in his life. + </p> + <p> + “It is rumoured,” she said, “there are some pretty girls there. Do you + know of any?” + </p> + <p> + “I know very little,” he replied, “and care less. Leave me alone; for I am + dying to go to sleep!” + </p> + <p> + “What!” she said. “Can you sleep when pretty girls are being talked about? + That is a sign that you are not in love!” + </p> + <p> + He did not reply, but slept like a pig, and poor Katherine began to have + serious doubts about him, but she resolved to try him again. + </p> + <p> + When the morrow came, each dressed himself, talking and chattering + meanwhile of what each liked best—Gerard of dogs and hawks, and + Conrad of the pretty girls of that place and Brabant. + </p> + <p> + After dinner, Conrad managed to separate Gerard from the others, and told + him that the country of Barrois was very flat and ugly, but Brabant was + quite different, and let him know that he (Conrad) longed to return + thither. + </p> + <p> + “For what purpose?” asked Gerard. “What do you see in Brabant that is not + here? Have you not here fine forests for hunting, good rivers, and plains + as pleasant as could be wished for flying falcons, and plenty of game of + all sorts?” + </p> + <p> + “Still that is nothing!” said Conrad. “The women of Brabant are very + different, and they please me much more than any amount of hunting or + hawking!” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! they are quite another affair,” said Gerard. “You are + exceedingly amorous in your Brabant, I dare swear!” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said Conrad, “it is not a thing that can be hidden, for I + myself am madly in love. In fact my heart is drawn so forcibly that I fear + I shall be forced to quit your Barrois, for it will not be possible for me + to live long without seeing my lady love.” + </p> + <p> + “Then it was a madness,” said Gerard, “to have left her, if you felt + yourself so inconstant.” + </p> + <p> + “Inconstant, my friend! Where is the man who can guarantee that he will be + constant in love. No one is so wise or cautious that he knows for certain + how to conduct himself. Love often drives both sense and reason out of his + followers.” + </p> + <p> + The conversation dropped as supper time came, and was not renewed till + they were in bed. Gerard would have desired nothing better than to go to + sleep, but Conrad renewed the discussion, and began a piteous, long, and + sad complaint about his ladylove (which, to shorten matters, I omit) and + at last he said, + </p> + <p> + “Alas, Gerard, and how can you desire to sleep whilst I am so wide awake, + and my soul is filled with cares, and regrets, and troubles. It is strange + that you are not a little touched yourself, for, believe me, if it were a + contagious disease you could not be so close to me and escape unscathed. I + beg of you, though you do not feel yourself, to have some pity and + compassion on me, for I shall die soon if I do not behold my lady-love.” + </p> + <p> + “I never saw such a love-sick fool!” cried Gerard. “Do you think that I + have never been in love? I know what it is, for I have passed through it + the same as you—certainly I have! But I was never so love-mad as to + lose my sleep or upset myself, as you are doing now. You are an idiot, and + your love is not worth a doit. Besides do you think your lady is the same + as you are? No, no!” + </p> + <p> + “I am sure she is,” replied Conrad; “she is so true-hearted.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you speak as you wish,” said Gerard, “but I do not believe that women + are so true as to always remain faithful to their vows; and those who + believe in them are blockheads. Like you, I have loved, and still love. + For, to tell you the truth, I left Brabant on account of a love affair, + and when I left I was high in the graces of a very beautiful, good, and + noble damsel, whom I quitted with much regret; and for no small time I was + in great grief at not being able to see her—though I did not cease + to sleep, drink, or eat, as you do. When I found that I was no longer able + to see her, I cured myself by following Ovid’s advice, for I had not been + here long before I made the acquaintance of a pretty girl in the house, + and so managed, that—thank God—she now likes me very much, and + I love her. So that now I have forgotten the one I formerly loved, and + only care for the one I now possess, who has turned my thoughts from my + old love!” + </p> + <p> + “What!” cried Conrad. “Is it possible that, if you really loved the other, + you can so soon forget her and desert her? I cannot understand nor imagine + how that can be!” + </p> + <p> + “It is so, nevertheless, whether you understand it or not.” “That is not + keeping faith loyally,” said Conrad. “As for me, I would rather die a + thousand times, if that were possible, than be so false to my lady. + However long God may let me live, I shall never have the will, or even the + lightest thought, of ever loving any but her.” + </p> + <p> + “So much the greater fool you,” said Gerard, “and if you persevere in this + folly, you will never be of any good, and will do nothing but dream and + muse; and you will dry up like the green herb that is cast into the + furnace, and kill yourself, and never have known any pleasure, and even + your mistress will laugh at you,—if you are lucky enough to be + remembered by her at all.” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said Conrad. “You are very experienced in love affairs. I would + beg of you to be my intermediary, here or elsewhere, and introduce me to + some damsel that I may be cured like you.” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you what I will do,” said Gerard. “Tomorrow I will speak to + my mistress and tell her that we are comrades, and ask her to speak to one + of her lady friends, who will undertake your business, and I do not doubt + but that, if you like, you will have a good time, and that the melancholy + which now bears you down will disappear—if you care to get rid of + it.” + </p> + <p> + “If it were not for breaking my vow to my mistress, I should desire + nothing better,” said Conrad, “but at any rate I will try it.” + </p> + <p> + With that Gerard turned over and went to sleep, but Katherine was so + stricken with grief at seeing and hearing the falsehood of him whom she + loved more than all the world, that she wished herself dead and more than + dead. Nevertheless, she put aside all feminine feeling, and assumed manly + vigour. She even had the strength of mind to talk for a long time the next + day with the girl who loved the man <i>she</i> had once adored; and even + compelled her heart and eyes to be witnesses of many interviews and love + passages that were most galling to her. + </p> + <p> + Whilst she was talking to Gerard’s mistress, she saw the ring that she had + given her unfaithful lover, but she was not so foolish as to admire it, + but nevertheless found an opportunity to examine it closely on the girl’s + finger, but appeared to pay no heed to it, and soon afterwards left. + </p> + <p> + As soon as supper was over, she went to her uncle, and said to him; + </p> + <p> + “We have been long enough in Barrois! It is time to leave. Be ready + to-morrow morning at daybreak, and I will be also. And take care that all + our baggage is prepared. Come for me as early as you like.” + </p> + <p> + “You have but to come down when you will,” replied the uncle. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that after supper, whilst Gerard was conversing with his + mistress, she who had been his lady-love went to her chamber and began to + write a letter, which narrated at full length the love affairs of herself + and Gerard, also “the promises which they made at parting, how they had + wished to marry her to another and how she had refused, and the pilgrimage + that she had undertaken to keep her word and come to him, and the + disloyalty and falsehood she had found in him, in word, act, and deed. And + that, for the causes mentioned, she held herself free and disengaged from + the promise she had formerly made. And that she was going to return to her + own country and never wished to see him or meet him again, he being the + falsest man who ever made vows to a woman. And as regards the ring that + she had given him, that he had forfeited it by passing it into the hands + of a third person. And if he could boast that he had lain three nights by + her side, there was no harm, and he might say what he liked, and she was + not afraid.” + </p> + <p> + <i>Letter written by a hand you ought to know</i>, and underneath <i>Katherine + etc., otherwise known as Conrad</i>; and on the back, <i>To the false + Gerard</i> etc. + </p> + <p> + She scarcely slept all night, and as soon as she saw the dawn, she rose + gently and dressed herself without awaking Gerard. She took the letter, + which she had folded and sealed, and placed it in the sleeve of Gerard’s + jerkin; then in a vow voice prayed to God for him, and wept gently on + account of the grief she endured on account of the falseness she had met + with. + </p> + <p> + Gerard still slept, and did not reply a word. Then she went to her uncle, + who gave her her horse which she mounted, and they left the country, and + soon came to Brabant, where they were joyfully received, God knows. + </p> + <p> + You may imagine that all sorts of questions were asked about their + adventures and travels, and how they had managed, but whatever they + replied they took care to say nothing about their principal adventure. + </p> + <p> + But to return to Gerard. He awoke about 10 o’clock on the morning of the + day when Katherine left, and looked to see if his companion Conrad was + already risen. He did not know it was so late, and jumped out of bed in + haste to seek for his jerkin. When he put his arm in the sleeve, out + dropped the letter, at which he was much astonished, for he did not + remember putting it there. + </p> + <p> + At any rate, he picked it up, and saw that it was sealed, and had written + on the back, <i>To the false Gerard</i>. If he had been astonished before, + he was still more so now. + </p> + <p> + After a little while he opened it and saw the signature, <i>Katherine + known as Conrad</i> etc. + </p> + <p> + He did not know what to think, nevertheless he read the letter, and in + reading it the blood mounted to his cheeks, and his heart sank within him, + so that he was quite changed both in looks and complexion. + </p> + <p> + He finished reading the letter the best way he could, and learned that his + falseness had come to the knowledge of her who wished so well to him, and + that she knew him to be what he was, not by the report of another person, + but by her own eyes; and what touched him most to the heart was that he + had lain three nights with her without having thanked her for the trouble + she had taken to come so far to make trial of his love. + </p> + <p> + He champed the bit, and was wild with rage, when he saw how he had been + mystified. After much thought, he resolved that the best thing to do was + to follow her, as he thought he might overtake her. + </p> + <p> + He took leave of his master and set out, and followed the trail of their + horses, but did not catch them up before they came to Brabant, where he + arrived opportunely on the day of the marriage of the woman who had tested + his affection. + </p> + <p> + He wished to kiss her and salute her, and make some poor excuse for his + fault, but he was not able to do so, for she turned her back on him, and + he could not, all the time that he was there, find an opportunity of + talking with her. + </p> + <p> + Once he advanced to lead her to the dance, but she flatly refused in the + face of all the company, many of whom took note of the incident. For, not + long after, another gentleman entered, and caused the minstrels to strike + up, and advanced towards her, and she came down and danced with him. + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, did the false lover lose his mistress. If there + are others like him, let them take warning by this example, which is + perfectly true, and is well known, and happened not so very long ago. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0020" id="linklinkimage-0020"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/27.jpg" width="100%" alt="27.jpg" + title="The Husband in The Clothes-chest. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0028" id="linklink2H_4_0028"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="27pg (139K)" src="images/27pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-SEVENTH — THE HUSBAND IN THE CLOTHES-CHEST. <a + href="#linklinknote-27" name="linklinknoteref-27" id="linklinknoteref-27">27</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Beauvoir. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a great lord of this kingdom and a married lady, who in order that + she might be with her lover caused her husband to be shut in a + clothes-chest by her waiting women, and kept him there all the night, + whilst she passed the time with her lover; and of the wagers made + between her and the said husband, as you will find afterwards recorded.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is not an unusual thing, especially in this country, for fair dames and + damsels to often and willingly keep company with young gentlemen, and the + pleasant joyful games they have together, and the kind requests which are + made, are not difficult to guess. + </p> + <p> + Not long ago, there was a most noble lord, who might be reckoned as one of + the princes, but whose name shall not issue from my pen, who was much in + the good graces of a damsel who was married, and of whom report spoke so + highly that the greatest personage in the kingdom might have deemed + himself lucky to be her lover. + </p> + <p> + She would have liked to prove to him how greatly she esteemed him, but it + was not easy; there were so many adversaries and enemies to be outwitted. + And what more especially annoyed her was her worthy husband, who kept to + the house and played the part of the cursed Dangier, (*) and the lover + could not find any honourable excuse to make him leave. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Allegorical personage typifying jealousy, taken from <i>Le + Romaunt de la Rose</i>. +</pre> + <p> + As you may imagine, the lover was greatly dissatisfied at having to wait + so long, for he desired the fair quarry, the object of his long chase, + more than he had ever desired anybody in all his life. + </p> + <p> + For this cause he continued to importune his mistress, till she said to + him. + </p> + <p> + “I am quite as displeased as you can be that I can give you no better + welcome; but, you know, as long as my husband is in the house he must be + considered.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said he, “cannot you find any method to abridge my hard and cruel + martyrdom?” + </p> + <p> + She—who as has been said above, was quite as desirous of being with + her lover as he was with her—replied; + </p> + <p> + “Come to-night, at such and such an hour, and knock at my chamber door. I + will let you in, and will find some method to be freed from my husband, if + Fortune does not upset our plans.” + </p> + <p> + Her lover had never heard anything which pleased him better, and after + many gracious thanks,—which he was no bad hand at making—he + left her, and awaited the hour assigned. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that a good hour or more before the appointed time, our + gentle damsel, with her women and her husband, had withdrawn to her + chamber after supper; nor was her imagination idle, but she studied with + all her mind how she could keep her promise to her lover. Now she thought + of one means, now of another, but nothing occurred to her by which she + could get rid of her cursed husband; and all the time the wished-for hour + was fast approaching. + </p> + <p> + Whilst she was thus buried in thought, Fortune was kind enough to do her a + good turn, and her husband a bad one. + </p> + <p> + He was looking round the chamber, and by chance he saw at the foot of the + bed his wife’s clothes-chest. In order to make her speak, and arouse her + from her reverie, he asked what that chest was used for, and why they did + not take it to the wardrobe, or some other place where it would be more + suitable. + </p> + <p> + “There is no need, Monseigneur,” said Madame; “no one comes here but us. I + left it here on purpose, because there are still some gowns in it, but if + you are not pleased, my dear, my women will soon take it away.” + </p> + <p> + “Not pleased?” said he. “No, I am not; but I like it as much here as + anywhere else, since it pleases you; but it seems to me much too small to + hold your gowns well without crumpling them, seeing what great and long + trains are worn now.” + </p> + <p> + “By my word, sir,” said she, “it is big enough.” + </p> + <p> + “It hardly seems so,” replied he, “really; and I have looked at it well.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir,” said she, “will you make a bet with me?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly I will,” he answered; “what shall it be?” + </p> + <p> + “I will bet, if you like, half a dozen of the best shirts against the + satin to make a plain petticoat, that we can put you inside the box just + as you are.” + </p> + <p> + “On my soul,” said he, “I will bet I cannot get in.” + </p> + <p> + “And I will bet you can.” + </p> + <p> + “Come on!” said the women. “We will soon see who is the winner.” + </p> + <p> + “It will soon be proved,” said Monsieur, and then he made them take out of + the chest all the gowns which were in it, and when it was empty, Madam and + her women put in Monsieur easily enough. + </p> + <p> + Then there was much chattering, and discussion, and laughter, and Madam + said; + </p> + <p> + “Well, sir; you have lost your wager! You own that, do you not?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said he, “you are right.” + </p> + <p> + As he said these words, the chest was locked, and the girls all laughing, + playing, and dancing, carried both chest and man together, and put it in a + big cupboard some distance away from the chamber. + </p> + <p> + He cried, and struggled, and made a great noise; but it was no good, and + he was left there all the night. He could sleep, or think, or do the best + he could, but Madam had given secret instructions that he was not to be + let out that day, because she had been too much bothered by him already. + </p> + <p> + But to return to the tale we had begun. We will leave our man in his + chest, and talk about Madam, who was awaiting her lover, surrounded by her + waiting women, who were so good and discreet that they never revealed any + secrets. They knew well enough that the dearly beloved adorer was to + occupy that night the place of the man who was doing penance in the + clothes-chest. + </p> + <p> + They did not wait long before the lover, without making any noise or + scare, knocked at the chamber door, and they knew his knock, and quickly + let him in. He was joyfully received and kindly entertained by Madam and + her maids; and he was glad to find himself alone with his lady love, who + told him what good fortune God had given her, that is to say how she had + made a bet with her husband that he could get into the chest, how he had + got in, and how she and her women had carried him away to a cupboard. + </p> + <p> + “What?” said her lover. “I cannot believe that he is in the house. By my + word, I believed that you had found some excuse to send him out whilst I + took his place with you for a time.” + </p> + <p> + “You need not go,” she said. “He cannot get out of where he is. He may cry + as much as he will, but there is no one here likes him well enough to let + him out, and there he will stay; but if you would like to have him set + free, you have but to say so.” + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady,” said he, “if he does not come out till I let him out, he + will wait a good long time.” + </p> + <p> + “Well then, let us enjoy ourselves,” said she, “and think no more about + him.” + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, they both undressed, and the two lovers lay down in + the fair bed, and did what they intended to do, and which is better + imagined than described. + </p> + <p> + When day dawned, her paramour took leave of her as secretly as he could, + and returned to his lodgings to sleep, I hope, and to breakfast, for he + had need of both. + </p> + <p> + Madam, who was as cunning as she was wise and good, rose at the usual + hour, and said to her women; + </p> + <p> + “It will soon be time to let out our prisoner. I will go and see what he + says, and whether he will pay his ransom.” + </p> + <p> + “Put all the blame on us,” they said. “We will appease him.” + </p> + <p> + “All right, I will do so,” she said. + </p> + <p> + With these words she made the sign of the Cross, and went nonchalantly, as + though not thinking what she was doing, into the cupboard where her + husband was still shut up in the chest. And when he heard her he began to + make a great noise and cry out, “Who is there? Why do you leave me locked + up here?” + </p> + <p> + His good wife, who heard the noise he was making replied timidly, as + though frightened, and playing the simpleton; + </p> + <p> + “Heavens! who is it that I hear crying?” + </p> + <p> + “It is I! It is I!” cried the husband. + </p> + <p> + “You?” she cried; “and where do you come from at this time?” + </p> + <p> + “Whence do I come?” said he. “You know very well, madam. There is no need + for me to tell you—but what you did to me I will some day do to + you,”—for he was so angry that he would willingly have showered + abuse upon his wife, but she cut him short, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Sir, for God’s sake pardon me. On my oath I assure you that I did not + know you were here now, for, believe me, I am very much astonished that + you should be still here, for I ordered my women to let you out whilst I + was at prayers, and they told me they would do so; and, in fact, one of + them told me that you had been let out, and had gone into the town, and + would not return home, and so I went to bed soon afterwards without + waiting for you.” + </p> + <p> + “Saint John!” said he; “you see how it is. But make haste and let me out, + for I am so exhausted that I can stand it no longer.” + </p> + <p> + “That may well be,” said she, “but you will not come out till you have + promised to pay me the wager you lost, and also pardon me, or otherwise I + will not let you out.” + </p> + <p> + “Make haste, for God’s sake! I will pay you—really.” + </p> + <p> + “And you promise?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—on my oath!” + </p> + <p> + This arrangement being concluded, Madam opened the chest, and Monsieur + came out, tired, cramped, and exhausted. + </p> + <p> + She took him by the arm, and kissed him, and embraced him as gently as + could be, praying to God that he would not be angry. + </p> + <p> + The poor blockhead said that he was not angry with her, because she knew + nothing about it, but that he would certainly punish her women. + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, sir,” said she, “they are well revenged upon you—for I + expect you have done something to them.” + </p> + <p> + “Not I certainly, that I know of—but at any rate the trick they have + played me will cost them dear.” + </p> + <p> + He had hardly finished this speech, when all the women came into the room, + and laughed so loudly and so heartily that they could not say a word for a + long time; and Monsieur, who was going to do such wonders, when he saw + them laugh to such a degree, had not the heart to interfere with them. + Madame, to keep him company, did not fail to laugh also. There was a + marvellous amount of laughing, and he who had the least cause to laugh, + laughed one of the loudest. + </p> + <p> + After a certain time, this amusement ceased, and Monsieur said; + </p> + <p> + “Mesdames, I thank you much for the kindness you have done me.” + </p> + <p> + “You are quite welcome, sir,” said one of the women, “and still we are not + quits. You have given us so much trouble, and caused as so much mischief, + that we owed you a grudge, and if we have any regret it is that you did + not remain in the box longer. And, in fact, if it had not been for Madame + you would still be there;—so you may take it how you will!” + </p> + <p> + “Is that so?” said he. “Well, well, you shall see how I will take it. By + my oath I am well treated, when, after all I have suffered, I am only + laughed, at, and what is still worse, must pay for the satin for the + petticoat. Really, I ought to have the shirts that were bet, as a + compensation for what I have suffered.” + </p> + <p> + “By Heaven, he is right,” said the women. “We are on your side as to that, + and you shall have them. Shall he not have them, Madame?” + </p> + <p> + “On what grounds?” said she. “He lost the wager.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes, we know that well enough: he has no right to them,—indeed + he does not ask for them on that account, but he has well deserved them + for another reason.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind about that,” said Madame. “I will willingly give the material + out of love for you, mesdames, who have so warmly pleaded for him, if you + will undertake to do the sewing.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly, Madame.” + </p> + <p> + Like one who when he wakes in the morning has but to give himself a shake + and he is ready, Monsieur needed but a bunch of twigs to beat his clothes + and he was ready, and so he went to Mass; and Madame and her women + followed him, laughing loudly at him I can assure you. + </p> + <p> + And you may imagine that during the Mass there was more than one giggle + when they remembered that Monsieur, whilst he was in the chest (though he + did not know it himself) had been registered in the book which has no + name. (*) And unless by chance this book falls into his hands, he will + never,—please God—know of his misfortune, which on no account + would I have him know. So I beg of any reader who may know him, to take + care not to show it to him. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The Book of Cuckolds. +</pre> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0021" id="linklinkimage-0021"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/28.jpg" width="100%" alt="28.jpg" + title="The Incapable Lover. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0029" id="linklink2H_4_0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="28pg (141K)" src="images/28pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-EIGHTH — THE INCAPABLE LOVER. <a + href="#linklinknote-28" name="linklinknoteref-28" id="linklinknoteref-28">28</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Messire Miohaut De Changy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of the meeting assigned to a great Prince of this kingdom by a damsel + who was chamber-woman to the Queen; of the little feats of arms of the + said Prince and of the neat replies made by the said damsel to the Queen + concerning her greyhound which had been purposely shut out of the room + of the said Queen, as you shall shortly hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + If in the time of the most renowned and eloquent Boccaccio, the adventure + which forms the subject of my tale had come to his knowledge, I do not + doubt but that he would have added it to his stories of great men who met + with bad fortune. For I think that no nobleman ever had a greater + misfortune to bear than the good lord (whom may God pardon!) whose + adventure I will relate, and whether his ill fortune is worthy to be in + the aforesaid books of Boccaccio, I leave those who hear it to judge. + </p> + <p> + The good lord of whom I speak was, in his time, one of the great princes + of this kingdom, apparelled and furnished with all that befits a nobleman; + and amongst his other qualities was this,—that never was man more + destined to be a favourite with the ladies. + </p> + <p> + Now it happened to him at the time when his fame in this respect most + flourished, and everybody was talking about him, that Cupid, who casts his + darts wherever he likes, caused him to be smitten by the charms of a + beautiful, young, gentle and gracious damsel, who also had made a + reputation second to no other of that day on account of her great and + unequalled beauty and her good manners and virtues, and who, moreover, was + such a favourite with the Queen of that country that she shared the royal + bed on the nights when the said Queen did not sleep with the king. + </p> + <p> + This love affair, I must tell you, had advanced to such a point that each + only desired time and place to say and do what would most please both. + They were many days considering how to find a convenient opportunity, and + at last, she—who was as anxious for the welfare of her lover as she + was for the safety of her own reputation—thought of a good plan, of + which she hastened to inform him, saying as follows; + </p> + <p> + “My dearest friend, you know that I sleep with the Queen, and that it is + not possible for me—unless I would spoil everything—to resign + that honour and position which the noblest lady of the land would think + herself proud and happy to obtain. So that, though I would like to please + you and do your pleasure, I would remain on good terms with her, and not + desert her who can and does give me all the advancement and honour in the + world. I do not suppose that you would have me act otherwise.” + </p> + <p> + “No, by my soul, dearest,” replied the worthy lord; “but at any rate I + would beg you that in serving your mistress your devoted lover should not + be forgotten, and that you do for him all that lies in your power, for he + would rather gain your love and good-will than aught else in the world.” + </p> + <p> + “This is what I will do for you, Monseigneur,” said she. “The Queen, as + you know, has a greyhound of which she is very fond, that sleeps in her + chamber. I will find means to shut it out of the room without her + knowledge, and when everybody has retired, I will jump out of bed, run to + the reception room, and unbolt the door. Then, when you think that the + Queen is in bed, you must come quietly, and enter the reception room and + close the door after you. There you will find the greyhound, who knows you + well enough, and will let you approach it; pull its ears and make it cry + out, and when the Queen hears that, I expect that she will make me get out + of bed at once to let it in. Then I will come to you, and fail me not, if + ever you would speak to me again.” + </p> + <p> + “My most dear and loyal sweetheart,” said Monseigneur, “I thank you all I + can. Be sure that I will fail not to be there.” + </p> + <p> + Then he rose and went away, and the lady also; each thinking and desiring + how to carry out the proposed plan. + </p> + <p> + What need of a long story? The greyhound wanted to come into the chamber + of his mistress at the usual time, as it had been accustomed, but the + damsel had condemned it to banishment, and it was quickly made to beat a + retreat. The Queen went to bed without noticing the absence of the dog, + and soon afterwards there came to keep her company, the gentle damsel, who + was only waiting to hear the greyhound cry out as the signal for the + battle. + </p> + <p> + It was not long before the worthy lord set to work, and soon managed to + reach the chamber where the greyhound was sleeping. He felt for it, with + his foot or with his hand, until he found it, then he took it by the ears + and made it cry aloud two or three times. + </p> + <p> + The Queen, who heard it, soon knew that it was her greyhound, and thought + that it wanted to come in. She called the damsel, and said; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, my greyhound is howling outside. Get up, and let it in!” + </p> + <p> + “Willingly, madam,” said the damsel, and as she awaited the battle, the + day and hour of which she had herself appointed, she only armed herself + with her chemise, and in that guise, came to the door and opened it, and + soon met with him who was awaiting her. + </p> + <p> + He was so delighted and so surprised to see his ladylove so beautiful, and + so well-prepared for the encounter, that he lost his strength and sense, + and had not force enough left to draw his dagger, and try whether it could + penetrate her cuirass. Of kissing, and cuddling, and playing with her + breasts, he could do plenty; but for the grand operation—nihil. + </p> + <p> + So the fair damsel was forced to return without leaving him that which he + could not gain by force of arms. But when she would quit him, he tried to + detain her by force and by soft speeches, but she dared not stay, so she + shut the door in his face, and came back to the Queen, who asked her if + she had let the greyhound in? And she said, “No, because she could not + find it though she had looked well for it.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well” said the Queen, “go to bed. It will be all right.” + </p> + <p> + The poor lover was very dissatisfied with himself, and thought himself + dishonoured and disgraced, for he had up till then had such confidence in + himself that he believed he could in less than one hour have tackled three + ladies, and come off every time with honour. + </p> + <p> + At last his courage returned, and he said to himself that if he ever were + so fortunate as to find another such opportunity with his sweetheart, she + should not escape as she did the previous time. + </p> + <p> + Thus animated and spurred on by shame and desire, he again took the + greyhound by the ears, and made it cry out much louder than it had before. + </p> + <p> + Awakened by this cry, the Queen again sent her damsel, who opened the door + as before, but had to return to her mistress without getting any more + pleasure than she had the first time. + </p> + <p> + A third time did the poor gentleman do all in his power to tumble her, but + the devil a bit could he find a lance to encounter her with, though she + awaited his onslaught with a firm foot. And when she saw that she could + not have her basket pierced, and that he could not lay his lance in rest, + whatever advantage she gave him, she knew that the joust had come to + nothing, and had a very poor opinion of the jouster. + </p> + <p> + She would no longer stay with him for all that he could say or do. She + wished to return to the chamber, but her lover held her by force and said; + </p> + <p> + “Alas, sweetheart, stay a little longer, I pray!” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot,” she said: “let me go! I have stayed too long already, + considering the little I got by it,” and with that she turned towards the + chamber, but he followed her and tried to detain her. + </p> + <p> + When she saw that—to pay him out, and also hoodwink the Queen—she + called out loud, + </p> + <p> + “Get out! get out! dirty beast that you are! By God! you shall not come in + here, dirty beast that you are!” and so saying she closed the door. + </p> + <p> + The Queen, who heard it, asked, + </p> + <p> + “To whom are you speaking, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “To this dirty dog, madam, who has given me such trouble to look for him. + He was lying quite flat, and with his nose on the ground, hidden under a + bench, so that I could not find him. And when I did find him he would not + get up for anything that I could do. I would willingly have put him in, + but he would not deign to lift up his head, so, in disgust, I have shut + the door upon him and left him outside.” + </p> + <p> + “You did quite right, my dear,” said the Queen. “Come to bed, and go to + sleep!” + </p> + <p> + Such, as you have heard, was the bad luck of this noble lord; and since he + could not when his lady would, I believe that since then, when he had the + power, his lady’s will was not to be had. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0030" id="linklink2H_4_0030"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="29pg (132K)" src="images/29pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE TWENTY-NINTH — THE COW AND THE CALF. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman to whom—the first night that he was married, and + after he had but tried one stroke—his wife brought forth a child, + and of the manner in which he took it,—and of the speech that he + made to his companions when they brought him the caudle, as you shall + shortly hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is not a hundred years ago since a young gentleman of this country + wished to know and experience the joys of matrimony, and—to cut + matters short—the much-desired day of his marriage duly came. + </p> + <p> + After much good cheer and the usual amusements, the bride was put to bed, + and a short time afterwards her husband followed, and lay close to her, + and without delay duly began the assault on her fortress. With some + trouble he entered in and gained the stronghold, but you must understand + that he did not complete the conquest without accomplishing many feats of + arms which it would take long to enumerate; for before he came to the + donjon of the castle he had other outworks, with which it was provided, to + carry, like a place that had never been taken or was still quite new, and + which nature had provided with many defences. + </p> + <p> + When he was master of the place, he broke his lance, and ceased the + assault. But the fair damsel when she saw herself at the mercy of her + husband, and how he had foraged the greater part of her manor, wished to + show him a prisoner whom she held confined in a secret place,—or to + speak plainly she was delivered on the spot, after this first encounter, + of a fine boy; at which her husband was so ashamed and so astonished that + he did not know what to do except to hold his tongue. + </p> + <p> + Out of kindness and pity, he did all that he possibly could for both + mother and child, but, as you may believe, the poor woman could not + restrain from uttering a loud cry when the child was born. Many persons + heard this cry, and believed that it was “the cry of the maidenhead,” (*) + which is a custom of this country. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A singular custom which obliged the bride to utter a + loud cry when she lost her virginity, and to which the + groomsmen replied by bringing a large bowl of caudle or some + invigorating drink into the bed chamber. From some verses + written by Clement Marot on the marriage of the Duke of + Ferrara to Princess Rénée, it would appear that the custom + existed at the Court of France. +</pre> + <p> + Immediately all the gentlemen in the house where the bridegroom resided, + came and knocked at the door of the chamber, and brought the caudle; but + though they knocked loudly they received no reply, for the bride was in a + condition in which silence is excusable, and the bridegroom had not much + to chatter about. + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter?” cried the guests. “Why do you not open the door? If + you do not make haste we will break it open; the caudle we have brought + you will be quite cold;” and they began to knock louder than ever. + </p> + <p> + But the bridegroom would not have uttered a word for a hundred francs; at + which those outside did not know what to think, for he was not ordinarily + a silent man. At last he rose, and put on a dressing-gown he had, and let + in his friends, who soon asked him whether the caudle had been earned, and + what sort of a time he had had? Then one of them laid the table-cloth, and + spread the banquet, for they had everything prepared, and spared nothing + in such cases. They all sat round to eat, and the bridegroom took his seat + in a high-backed chair placed near his bed, looking very stupid and + pitiful as you may imagine. And whatever the others said, he did not + answer a word, but sat there like a statue or a carved idol. + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter?” cried one. “You take no notice of the excellent + repast that our host has provided. You have not said a single word yet.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said another, “he has no jokes ready.” + </p> + <p> + “By my soul!” said another, “marriage has wondrous properties. He has but + been married an hour and he has lost his tongue. If he goes on at that + rate there will soon be nothing left of him.” + </p> + <p> + To tell the truth, he had formerly been known as a merry fellow, fond of a + joke, and never uttered a word but a jest; but now he was utterly cast + down. + </p> + <p> + The gentlemen drank to the bride and bridegroom, but devil a drop would + either of them quaff in return; the one was in a violent rage, and the + other was far from being at ease. + </p> + <p> + “I am not experienced in these affairs,” said a gentleman, “but it seems + we must feast by ourselves. I never saw a man with such a grim-looking + face, and so soon sobered by a woman. You might hear a pin drop in his + company. Marry! his loud jests are small enough now!” + </p> + <p> + “I drink to the bridegroom,” said another, but the bridegroom neither + drank, eat, laughed, or spoke. Nevertheless, after some time that he had + been both scolded and teased by his friends, like a wild boar at bay, he + retorted; + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, I have listened for some time to your jokes and reproofs. I + would like you to understand that I have good reason to reflect and keep + silent, and I am sure that there is no one here but would do the same if + he had the same reasons that I have. By heavens! if I were as rich as the + King of France, or the Duke of Burgundy, or all the princes of + Christendom, I should not be able to provide that which, apparently, I + shall <i>have</i> to provide. I have but touched my wife once, and she has + brought forth a child! Now if each time that I begin again she does the + same, how shall I be able to keep my family?” + </p> + <p> + “What? a child?” said his friends. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes! Really a child! Look here!” and he turned towards the bed and + lifted up the clothes and showed them. + </p> + <p> + “There!” said he. “There is the cow and the calf! Am I not well swindled?” + </p> + <p> + Many of his friends were much astonished, and quite excused their host’s + conduct, and went away each to his own home. And the poor bridegroom + abandoned his newly-delivered bride the first night, fearing that she + would do the same another time, and not knowing what would become of him + if so. + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkstory30" id="linklinkstory30"></a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="30pg (144K)" src="images/30pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTIETH — THE THREE CORDELIERS + </h2> + <h3> + By Monsigneur de Beauvoir + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + Of three merchants of Savoy who went on a pilgrimage to St. Anthony in + Bienne, (*) and who were deceived and cuckolded by three Cordeliers who + slept with their wives. And how the women thought they had been with + their husbands, and how their husbands came to know of it, and of the + steps they took, as you shall shortly hear. + </p> + </blockquote> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) This according to M. Lacroix is the old town of La Mothe + St. Didier in Dauphiné, which took the name of Saint Antoine + on account of the relics of the Saint, which were brought + there in the 11th century. +</pre> + <p> + It is as true as the Gospel, that three worthy merchants of Savoy set out + with their wives to go on a pilgrimage to St. Anthony of Vienne. And in + order to render their journey more devout and more agreeable to God and + St. Anthony, they determined that from the time they left their houses, + and all through the journey, they would not sleep with their wives, but + live in continence, both going and returning. + </p> + <p> + They arrived one night in the town, where they found good lodgings, and + had excellent cheer at supper, like those who have plenty of money and + know well what to do with it, and enjoyed themselves so much that each + determined to break his oath, and sleep with his wife. + </p> + <p> + However, it happened otherwise, for when it was time to retire to rest, + the women said good night to their husbands and left them, and shut + themselves up in a chamber near, where each had ordered her bed to be + made. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that that same evening there arrived in the house three + Cordeliers, who were going to Geneva, and who ordered a chamber not very + far from that of the merchant’s wives. + </p> + <p> + The women, when they were alone, began to talk about a hundred thousand + things, and though there were only three of them they made enough noise + for forty. + </p> + <p> + The good Cordeliers, hearing all this womens’ chatter, came out of their + chamber, without making any noise, and approached the door without being + heard. They saw three pretty women, each lying by herself in a fair bed, + big enough to accommodate a second bed-fellow; then they saw and heard + also the three husbands go to bed in another chamber, and they said to + themselves that fortune had done them a good turn, and that they would be + unworthy to meet with any other good luck if they were cowardly enough to + allow this opportunity to escape them. + </p> + <p> + “So,” said one of them, “there needs no further deliberation as to what we + are to do; we are three and they are three—let each take his place + when they are asleep.” + </p> + <p> + As it was said, so it was done, and such good luck had the good brothers + that they found the key of the room in which the women were, and opened + the door so gently that they were not heard by a soul, and they were not + such fools when they had gained the outworks as not to close the door + after them and take out the key, and then, without more ado, each picked + out a bed-fellow, and began to ruffle her as well as he could. + </p> + <p> + One of the women, believing it was her husband, spoke, and said; + </p> + <p> + “What are you doing? Do you not remember your vow?” But the good Cordelier + answered not a word, but did that for which he came, and did it so + energetically that she could not help assisting in the performance. + </p> + <p> + The other two also were not idle, and the good women did not know what had + caused their husbands thus to break their vow. Nevertheless, they thought + they ought to obey, and bear it all patiently without speaking, each being + afraid of being heard by her companions, for really each thought that she + alone was getting the benefit. + </p> + <p> + When the good Cordeliers had done all they could, they left without saying + a word, and returned to their chamber, each recounting his adventures. One + had broken three lances; another, four; and the other, six. They rose + early in the morning, and left the town. + </p> + <p> + The good ladies, who had not slept all night, did not rise very early in + the morning, for they fell asleep at daybreak, which caused them to get up + late. + </p> + <p> + On the other hand, their husbands, who had supped well the previous night, + and who expected to be called by their wives, slept heavily till an hour + so late that on other days they had generally travelled two leagues by + that time. + </p> + <p> + At last the women got up, and dressed themselves as quickly as they could, + and not without talking. And, amongst other things, the one who had the + longest tongue, said; + </p> + <p> + “Between ourselves, mesdames—how have you passed the night? Have + your husbands worked like mine did? He has not ceased to ruffle me all + night.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said they, “if your husband ruffled you well last night, + ours have not been idle. They have soon forgotten what they promised at + parting; though believe us we did not forget to remind them.” + </p> + <p> + “I warned mine also,” said the first speaker, “when he began, but he did + not leave off working, and hurried on like a hungry man who had been + deprived of my company for two nights.” + </p> + <p> + When they were attired, they went to find their husbands, who were already + dressed; + </p> + <p> + “Good morning, good morning! you sleepers!” cried the ladies. + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” said the men, “for having called us.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said one lady. “We have no more qualms of conscience for not + calling you than you have for breaking your vow.” + </p> + <p> + “What vow?” said one of the men. + </p> + <p> + “The vow,” said she, “that you made on leaving, not to sleep with your + wife.” + </p> + <p> + “And who has slept with his wife?” asked he. “You know well enough,” said + she, “and so do I.” + </p> + <p> + “And I also,” said her companion. “Here is my husband who never gave me + such a tumbling as he did last night—indeed if he had not done his + duty so well I should not be so pleased that he had broken his vow, but I + pass over that, for I suppose he is like young children, who when they + know they deserve punishment, think they may as well be hanged for a sheep + as a lamb.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! so did mine!” cried the third. “But I am not going to scold + him for it. If there was any harm done there was good reason for it.” + </p> + <p> + “And I declare by my oath,” cried one of the men, “that you dream, and + that you are drunken with sleep. As for me I slept alone, and did not + leave my bed all night.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor did I,” said another. + </p> + <p> + “Nor I, by St. John!” said the third. “I would not on any account break my + oath. And I feel sure that my friend here, and my neighbour there, who + also promised, have not so quickly forgotten.” + </p> + <p> + The women began to change colour and to suspect some trickery, when one of + the husbands began to fear the truth. Without giving the women time to + reply, he made a sign to his companions, and said, laughing; + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, madam, the good wine here, and the excellent cheer last night + made us forget our promise; but be not displeased at the adventure; if it + please God we each last night, with your help, made a fine baby, which is + a work of great merit, and will be sufficient to wipe out the fault of + breaking our vow!” + </p> + <p> + “May God will it so!” said the women. “But you so strongly declared that + you had not been near us that we began to doubt a little.” + </p> + <p> + “We did it on purpose,” said he, “in order to hear what you would say.” + </p> + <p> + “And so you committed a double sin; first to break your oath, then to + knowingly lie about it; and also you have much troubled us.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not worry yourselves about that,” said he; “it is no great matter; but + go to Mass, and we will follow you.” + </p> + <p> + The women set out towards the church, and their husbands remained behind, + without following them too closely; then they all said together, without + picking their words; + </p> + <p> + “We are deceived! Those devils of Cordeliers have cuckolded us; they have + taken our places, and shown us the folly of not sleeping with our wives. + They should never have slept out of our rooms, and if it was dangerous to + be in bed with them, is there not plenty of good straw to be had?” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said one of them, “we are well punished this time; but at any + rate it is better that the trick should only be known to us than to us and + our wives, for there would be much danger if it came to their knowledge. + You hear by their confession that these ribald monks have done marvels—both + more and better than we could do. And, if our wives knew that, they would + not be satisfied with this experience only. My advice is that we swallow + the business without chewing it.” + </p> + <p> + “So help me God!” cried the third, “my friend speaks well. As for me, I + revoke my vow, for it is not my intention to run any more risks.” + </p> + <p> + “As you will,” said the other two; “and we will follow your example.” + </p> + <p> + So all the rest of the journey the wives slept with their husbands, though + the latter took care not to explain the cause. And when the women saw + that, they demanded the cause of this sudden change. And they answered + deceitfully, that as they had begun to break their vow they had better go + on. + </p> + <p> + Thus were the three worthy merchants deceived by the three good + Cordeliers, without it ever coming to the knowledge of their wives, who + would have died of grief had they known the truth; for every day we see + women die for less cause and occasion. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="31 (152K)" src="images/31.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="linklink2H_4_0031" id="linklink2H_4_0031"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="31pg (136K)" src="images/31pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-FIRST — TWO LOVERS FOR ONE LADY. <a + href="#linklinknote-31" name="linklinknoteref-31" id="linklinknoteref-31">31</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Barde. + </h3> + <p> + <i>Of a squire who found the mule of his companion, and mounted thereon + and it took him to the house of his master’s mistress; and the squire + slept there, where his friend found him; also of the words which passed + between them—as is more clearly set out below.</i> + </p> + <p> + A gentleman of this kingdom—a squire of great renown and reputation—fell + in love with a beautiful damsel of Rouen, and did all in his power to gain + her good graces. But fortune was contrary to him, and his lady so unkind, + that finally he abandoned the pursuit in despair. + </p> + <p> + He was not very wrong to do so, for she was provided with a lover—not + that the squire knew of that, however much he might suspect it. + </p> + <p> + He who enjoyed her love was a knight, and a man of great authority, and + was so familiar with the squire as to tell him much concerning his + love-affair. Often the knight said; “By my faith, friend, I would have you + know that I have a mistress in this town to whom I am devoted; for, + however tired I may be, I would willingly go three or four leagues to see + her—a mere couple of leagues I would run over without stopping to + take breath.” + </p> + <p> + “Is there no request or prayer that I can make” said the squire, “that + will cause you to tell me her name?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no!” said the other, “you shall not know that.” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said the squire, “when I am so fortunate as to have something + good, I will be as reticent as you are.” + </p> + <p> + It happened some time after this that the good knight asked the squire to + supper at the castle of Rouen, where he was then lodged. He came, and they + had some talk; the gentle knight, who had an appointment to see his lady + at a certain hour, said farewell to the squire, and added, + </p> + <p> + “You know that we have various things to see to to-morrow, and that we + must rise early in order to arrange various matters. It is advisable + therefore to go to bed early, and for that reason I bid you goodnight.” + </p> + <p> + The squire, who was cunning enough, suspected that the good knight wished + to go somewhere, and that he was making the duties of the morrow an excuse + to get rid of him, but he took no notice, and on taking leave and wishing + good-night to his host, said; + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur you say well; rise early to-morrow morning, and I will do the + same.” + </p> + <p> + When the good squire went down, he found a little mule at the foot of the + staircase of the castle, with no one minding it. He soon guessed that the + page he had met as he came down had gone to seek for a saddle-cloth for + his master. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, ah” he said to himself, “my host did not get rid of me at this early + hour for nothing. Here is his mule, which only waits till I am gone to + carry his master to some place he does not wish me to know. Ah, mule!” + said he, “if you could speak, you could tell me some news. Let me beg of + you to lead me where your master wishes to be.” + </p> + <p> + With that he made his page hold the stirrup, and mounted the mule, and + laid the reins on the mule’s neck, and let it amble on wherever it liked. + </p> + <p> + And the little mule led him by streets and alleys here and there, till at + last it stopped before a little wicket, which was in a side street where + its master was accustomed to come, and which was the garden gate of the + house of the very damsel the squire had so loved and had abandoned in + despair. + </p> + <p> + He dismounted, and tapped gently at the wicket, and a damsel, who was + watching through a hidden lattice, believing it to be the knight, came + down and opened the door, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur you are welcome; mademoiselle is in her chamber, and awaits + you.” + </p> + <p> + She did not recognise him, because it was late, and he had a velvet cap + drawn down over his face. And the good squire replied, “I will go to her.” + </p> + <p> + The he whispered to his page, “Go quickly and put the mule where we found + it; then go to bed.” + </p> + <p> + “It shall be done, sir,” he said. + </p> + <p> + The woman closed the gate, and led the way to the chamber. Our good + squire, much occupied with the business in hand, walked boldly to the room + where the lady was, and he found her simply dressed in a plain petticoat, + and with a gold chain round her neck. + </p> + <p> + He saluted her politely, for he was kind, courteous and well-spoken, but + she, who was as much astonished as though horns had sprouted out of her + head, did not for the moment know how to reply, but at last she asked him + what he sought there, why he came at that hour, and who had sent him? + </p> + <p> + “Mademoiselle,” said he, “you may well imagine that if I had had to rely + on myself alone I should not be here; but, thank God, one who has more + pity for me than you ever had, has done this kindness to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Who brought you here, sir?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, mademoiselle, I will not conceal that from you; it was such + and such a lord (and he named the knight who had invited him to supper), + who sent me here.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she cried. “Traitor and disloyal knight that he is, has he betrayed + my confidence? Well, well! I will be revenged on him some day.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, mademoiselle! it is not right of you to say that, for it is no + treason to give pleasure to one’s friend, or to render him aid and service + when one can. You know what a great friendship exists between him and me, + and that neither hides from the other what is in his heart. It happened + that not long ago I related and confessed to him the great love I bore + you, and that because of you I had no happiness left in the world, for + that by no means could I ever win your affection, and that it was not + possible for me to long endure this horrible martyrdom. When the good + knight knew that my words were really true, and was aware of the sorrow I + endured, he was fain to tell me how he stood with regard to you, and + preferred to lose you, and so save my life, than to see me die miserably + and retain your affection. And if you are such a woman as you should be, + you would not hesitate to give comfort and consolation to me, your + obedient servant, who has always loyally served and obeyed you.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you,” she said, “not to speak of that, and to leave here at + once. Cursed be he who made you come!” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, mademoiselle,” he replied, “that it is not my intention to + leave here before to-morrow morning?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” she cried, “you will go now, at once!” + </p> + <p> + “Morbleu! I will not—for I will sleep with you.” + </p> + <p> + When she saw that he was not to be got rid of by hard words, she resolved + to try kindness, and said; + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you with all my heart to leave my house now, and by my oath, + another time I will do whatever you wish.” + </p> + <p> + “Bah!” said he; “Waste no more words, for I shall sleep here,” and with + that he removed his cloak, and led the damsel to the table, and finally—to + cut the tale short—she went to bed with him by her side. + </p> + <p> + They had not been in bed long, and he had but broken one lance, when the + good knight arrived on his mule, and knocked at the wicket. When the + squire heard that and knew who it was, he began to growl, imitating a dog + very well. + </p> + <p> + The knight, hearing this, was both astonished and angry. He knocked at the + door more loudly than before, and the other growled louder than ever. + </p> + <p> + “Who is that growling?” said he outside. “Morbleu! but I will soon find + out! Open the door, or I will carry it away!” + </p> + <p> + The fair damsel, who was in a great rage, went to the window in her + chemise, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Are you there, false and disloyal knight? You may knock as much as you + like, but you will not come in!” + </p> + <p> + “Why shall I not come in?” said he. + </p> + <p> + “Because,” said she, “you are the falsest man that ever woman met, and are + not worthy to be with respectable people.” + </p> + <p> + “Mademoiselle,” said he, “you blason my arms very well, but I do not know + what excites you, for I have never been false to you that I am aware of.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, you have,” she cried, “done me the greatest wrong that ever man did + to woman.” + </p> + <p> + “I have not, I swear. But tell me who is in there?” + </p> + <p> + “You know very well, wretched traitor that you are,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + Thereupon the squire, who was in bed, began to growl like a dog as before. + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said he outside, “I do not understand this. Who is this growler?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! you shall know,” cried the other, and jumped out of bed and + came to the window, and said; + </p> + <p> + “And please you, sir, you have no right to wake us up.” + </p> + <p> + The good knight, when he knew who spoke to him, was marvellously + astonished, and when at last he spoke, he said. + </p> + <p> + “How did you come here?” + </p> + <p> + “I supped at your house and slept here.” + </p> + <p> + “The fault is mine,” said he. Then addressing the damsel, he added, + “Mademoiselle, do you harbour such guests in your house?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, monseigneur,” she replied, “and thank you for having sent him.” + </p> + <p> + “I?” said he. “By St. John I have nothing to do with it. I came to occupy + my usual place, but it seems I am too late. At least I beg, since I cannot + have anything else, that you open the door and let me drink a cup of + wine.” + </p> + <p> + “By God, you shall not enter here!” she cried. + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! he shall,” cried the squire, and ran down and opened the + door, and then went back to bed, and she did also, though, God knows, much + ashamed and dissatisfied. + </p> + <p> + When the good knight entered the chamber, he lighted a candle, and looked + at the couple in bed and said; + </p> + <p> + “Good luck to you, mademoiselle, and to you also squire.” + </p> + <p> + “Many thanks, monseigneur,” said he. + </p> + <p> + But the damsel could not say a word, her heart was so full, for she felt + certain that the knight had connived at the squire’s coming, and she felt + so angry that she would not speak to him. + </p> + <p> + “Who showed you the way here, squire?” asked the knight. + </p> + <p> + “Your little mule, monseigneur,” said he. “I found it at the foot of the + stairs, when I supped with you at the castle. It was there alone, and + seemingly lost, so I asked it what it was waiting for, and it replied that + it was waiting for its saddle-cloth and you. ‘To go where?’ I asked. + ‘Where we usually go,’ replied the mule. ‘I am sure,’ said I, ‘that your + master will not leave the house to-night, for he is going to bed, so take + me where you usually go, I beg.’ It was content, so I mounted on it, and + it brought me here, for which I give it thanks.” + </p> + <p> + “God reward the little beast that betrayed me,” said the good knight. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you have fully deserved it, monseigneur,” said the damsel, when at + last she was able to speak. “I know well that you have deceived me, but I + wish you to know that it is not much to your honour. There was no need, if + you would not come yourself, to send some one else surreptitiously. It was + an evil day for me when first I saw you.” + </p> + <p> + “Morbleu! I never sent him,” he said; “but since he is here I will not + drive him away. Besides there is enough for the two of us; is there not my + friend?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes, monseigneur, plenty of spoil to divide. Let us celebrate the + arrangement by a drink.” + </p> + <p> + He went to the side-board and filled a large cup with wine, and said, “I + drink to you, friend.” + </p> + <p> + “And I pledge you, friend,” said the other, and poured out another cup for + the damsel, who refused to drink, but at last, unwillingly, kissed the + cup. + </p> + <p> + “Well, friend,” said the knight, “I will leave you here. Ruffle her well; + it is your turn to-day and will be mine to morrow, please God, and I hope + you will be as obliging to me, if ever you find me here, as I am to you + now.” + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady, friend, doubt not but I shall be.” + </p> + <p> + Then the knight went away and left the squire, who did as well as he could + on the first night. And he told the damsel the whole truth of his + adventure, at which she was somewhat relieved to find that he had not been + sent. + </p> + <p> + Thus was the fair damsel deceived by the mule, and obliged to obey the + knight and the squire, each in his turn—an arrangement to which she + finally became accustomed. The knight and squire grew more attached to + each other than before this adventure; their affection increased, and no + evil counsels engendered discord and hate between them. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0022" id="linklinkimage-0022"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/32.jpg" width="100%" alt="32.jpg" + title=" The Women Who Paid Tithe. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0032" id="linklink2H_4_0032"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="32pg (133K)" src="images/32pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-SECOND — THE WOMEN WHO PAID TITHE. <a + href="#linklinknote-32" name="linklinknoteref-32" id="linklinknoteref-32">32</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Villiers. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of the Cordeliers of Ostelleria in Catalonia, who took tithe from the + women of the town, and how it was known, and the punishment the lord of + that place and his subjects inflicted on the monks, as you shall learn + hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In order that I may not be excluded from the number of fortunate and + meritorious writers who have worked to increase the number of stories in + this book, I will briefly relate a new story, which will serve as a + substitute for the tale previously required of me. + </p> + <p> + It is a well-known fact that in the town of Hostelleria, in Catalonia, (*) + there arrived some minor friars of the order of Observance, (**) who had + been driven out of the kingdom of Spain. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Hostalrich, a town of Catalonia, some 28 miles from + Girona. + + (**) One of the principal branches of the order of + Franciscans. +</pre> + <p> + They managed to worm themselves into the good graces of the Lord of that + town, who was an old man, so that he built for them a fair church and a + large convent, and maintained and supported them all his life as best he + could. And after him came his eldest son, who did quite as much for them + as his worthy father had done. + </p> + <p> + In fact they prospered so, that, in a few years they had everything that a + convent of mendicant friars could desire. Nor were they idle during all + the time they were acquiring these riches; they preached both in the town + and in the neighbouring villages, and had such influence over the people + that there was not a good christian who did not confess to them, they had + such great renown for pointing out faults to sinners. + </p> + <p> + But of all who praised them and held them in esteem, the women were + foremost, such saints did they deem them on account of their charity and + devotion. + </p> + <p> + Now listen to the wickedness, deception, and horrible treason which these + false hypocrites practised on the men and women who every day gave them so + many good gifts. They made it known to all the women in the town that they + were to give to God a tenth of all their goods. + </p> + <p> + “You render to your Lord such and such a thing; to your parish and priest + such and such a thing; and to us you must render and deliver the tithe of + the number of times that you have carnal connection with your husband. We + will take no other tithe from you, for, as you know, we carry no money—for + the temporal and transitory things of this world are nothing to us. We ask + and demand only spiritual goods. The tithes which we ask and which you owe + us are not temporal goods; as the Holy Sacrament, which you receive, is a + divine and holy thing, so no one may receive the tithe but us, who are + monks of the order of the Observance.” + </p> + <p> + The poor simple women, who believed the good friars were more like angels + than terrestrial beings, did not refuse to pay the tithe. There was not + one who did not pay in her turn, from the highest to the lowest, even the + wife of the Lord was not excused. + </p> + <p> + Thus were all the women of the town parcelled out amongst these rascally + monks, and there was not a monk who did not have fifteen or sixteen women + to pay tithes to him, and God knows what other presents they had from the + women, and all under cover of devotion. + </p> + <p> + This state of affairs lasted long without its ever coming to the knowledge + of those who were most concerned in the payment of the new tithe; but at + last it was discovered in the following manner. + </p> + <p> + A young man who was newly married, was invited to supper at the house of + one of his relations—he and his wife—and as they were + returning home, and passing the church of the above-mentioned good + Cordeliers, suddenly the bell rang out the <i>Ave Maria</i>, and the young + man bowed to the ground to say his prayers. + </p> + <p> + His wife said, “I would willingly enter this church.” + </p> + <p> + “What would you do in there at this hour?” asked her husband. “You can + easily come again when it is daylight; to-morrow, or some other time.” + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you,” she said, “to let me go: I will soon return.” + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady!” said he, “you shall not go in now.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” she replied, “it is compulsory. I must go in, but I will not + stay. If you are in a hurry to get home, go on, and I will follow you + directly.” + </p> + <p> + “Get on! get forward!” he said, “you have nothing to do here. If you want + to say a <i>Pater noster</i>, or an <i>Ave Maria</i>, there is plenty of + room at home, and it is quite as good to say it there as in this + monastery, which is now as dark as pitch.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said she, “you may say what you like, but by my oath, it is + necessary that I should enter here for a little while.” + </p> + <p> + “Why?” said he. “Do you want to sleep with any of the brothers.” + </p> + <p> + She imagined that her husband knew that she paid the tithe, and replied; + </p> + <p> + “No, I do not want to sleep with him; I only want to pay.” + </p> + <p> + “Pay what?” said he. + </p> + <p> + “You know very well,” she answered; “Why do you ask?” + </p> + <p> + “What do I know well?” he asked, “I never meddle with your debts.” + </p> + <p> + “At least,” she said, “you know very well that I must pay the tithe.” + </p> + <p> + “What tithe?” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” she replied. “It always has to be paid;—the tithe for our + nights together. You are lucky—I have to pay for us both.” + </p> + <p> + “And to whom do you pay?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “To brother Eustace,” she replied. “You go on home, and let me go in and + discharge my debt. It is a great sin not to pay, and I am never at ease in + my mind when I owe him anything.” + </p> + <p> + “It is too late to-night,” said he, “he has gone to bed an hour ago.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said she, “I have been this year later than this. If one + wants to pay one can go in at any hour.” + </p> + <p> + “Come along! come along!” he said. “One night makes no such great matter.” + </p> + <p> + So they returned home; both husband and wife vexed and displeased—the + wife because she was not allowed to pay her tithe, and the husband because + he had learned how he had been deceived, and was filled with anger and + thoughts of vengeance, rendered doubly bitter by the fact that he did not + dare to show his anger. + </p> + <p> + A little later they went to bed together, and the husband, who was cunning + enough, questioned his wife indirectly, and asked if the other women of + the town paid tithes as she did? + </p> + <p> + “By my faith they do,” she replied. “What privilege should they have more + than me? There are sixteen to twenty of us who pay brother Eustace. Ah, he + is so devout. And he has so much patience. Brother Bartholomew has as many + or more, and amongst others my lady (*) is of the number. Brother Jacques + also has many; Brother Anthony also—there is not one of them who has + not a number.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The wife of the Seigneur. +</pre> + <p> + “St. John!” said the husband, “they do not do their work by halves. Now I + understand well that they are more holy than I thought them; and truly I + will invite them all to my house, one after the other, to feast them and + hear their good words. And since Brother Eustace receives your tithes, he + shall be the first. See that we have a good dinner to-morrow, and I will + bring him.” + </p> + <p> + “Most willingly,” she replied, “for then at all events I shall not have to + go to his chamber to pay him; he can receive it when he comes here.” + </p> + <p> + “Well said,” he replied; “give it him here;” but as you may imagine he was + on his guard, and instead of sleeping all night, thought over at his + leisure the plan he intended to carry out on the morrow. + </p> + <p> + The dinner arrived, and Brother Eustace, who did not know his host’s + intentions stuffed a good meal under his hood. And when he had well eaten, + he rolled his eyes on his hostess, and did not spare to press her foot + under the table—all of which the host saw, though he pretended not + to, however much to his prejudice it was. + </p> + <p> + After the meal was over and grace was said, he called Brother Eustace and + told him that he wanted to show him an image of Our Lady that he had in + his chamber, and the monk replied that he would willingly come. + </p> + <p> + They both entered the chamber, and the host closed the door so that he + could not leave, and then laying hold of a big axe, said to the Cordelier. + </p> + <p> + “By God’s death, father! you shall never go out of this room—unless + it be feet foremost—if you do not confess the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, my host, I beg for mercy. What is it you, would ask of me?” + </p> + <p> + “I ask,” said he, “the tithe of the tithe you have received from my wife.” + </p> + <p> + When the Cordelier heard the word tithes, he began to think that he was in + a fix, and did not know what to reply except to beg for mercy, and to + excuse himself as well as he could. + </p> + <p> + “Now tell me,” said the husband, “what tithe it is that you take from my + wife and the others?” + </p> + <p> + The poor Cordelier was so frightened that he could not speak, and answered + never a word. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me all about it,” said the young man, “and I swear to you I will let + you go and do you no harm;—but if you do not confess I will kill you + stone dead.” + </p> + <p> + When the other felt convinced that he had better confess his sin and that + of his companions and escape, than conceal the facts and be in danger of + losing his life, he said; + </p> + <p> + “My host, I beg for mercy, and I will tell you the truth. It is true that + my companions and I have made all the women of this town believe that they + owe us tithes for all the times their husbands sleep with them. They + believed us, and they all pay—young and old—when once they are + married. There is not one that is excused—my lady even pays like the + others—her two nieces also—and in general there is no one that + is exempt.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said the other, “since my lord and other great folks pay it, I + ought not to be dissatisfied, however much I may dislike it. Well! you may + go, worthy father, on this condition—that you do not attempt to + collect the tithe that my wife owes you.” + </p> + <p> + The other was never so joyous as when he found himself outside the house, + and said to himself that he would never ask for anything of the kind + again, nor did he, as you will hear. + </p> + <p> + When the host of the Cordelier was informed by his wife of this new tithe, + he went to his Lord and told him all about the tax and how it concerned + him. You may imagine that he was much astonished, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Ah, cursed wretches that they are! Cursed be the hour that ever my father—whom + may God pardon—received them! And now they take our spoils and + dishonour us, and ere long they may do worse. What is to be done?” + </p> + <p> + “By my faith, Monseigneur” said the other, “if it please you and seem good + to you, you should assemble all your subjects in this town, for the matter + touches them as much as you. Inform them of this affair, and consult with + them what remedy can be devised before it is too late.” + </p> + <p> + Monseigneur approved, and ordered all his married subjects to come to him, + and in the great hall of his castle, he showed them at full length why he + had called them together. + </p> + <p> + If my lord had been astonished and surprised when he heard the news, so + also were all the good people who were there assembled. Some of them said, + “We ought to kill them,” others “They should be hanged!” others “Drown + them!” Others said they could not believe it was true—the monks were + so devout and led such holy lives. One said one thing, another said + another. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you,” said the Seigneur, “what we will do. We will bring our + wives hither, and Master John, or some other, shall preach a little sermon + in which he will take care to make allusion to tithes, and ask the women, + in the name of all of us, whether they discharge their debts, as we are + anxious they should be paid, and we shall hear their reply.” + </p> + <p> + After some discussion they all agreed to the Seigneur’s proposal. So + orders were issued to all the married women of the town, and they all came + to the great hall, where their husbands were assembled. My lord even + brought my lady, who was quite astonished to see so many persons. An usher + of my lord’s commanded silence, and Master John, who was slightly raised + above the other people, began the address which follows; + </p> + <p> + “Mesdames and mesdemoiselles, I am charged by my lord and those of his + council to explain briefly the reason why you are called together. It is + true that my lord, his council, and all his people who are here met + together, desire to make a public examination of their conscience,—the + cause being that that they wish (God willing) to make ere long a holy + procession in praise of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and His Glorious Mother, + and from the present moment to be in such a devout frame of mind that they + may the better praise him in their prayers, and that all the works which + they do may be most agreeable to God. You know that there have been no + wars in our time, and that our neighbours have been terribly afflicted + both by pestilence and famine. Whilst others have been cast down, we have + nothing to complain of, and we must own that God has preserved us. There + is good reason that we should acknowledge that this is not due to our own + virtues, but to the great and liberal mercy of our Blessed Redeemer, who + cries, calls, and invites us to put up in our parish church, devout + prayers, to which we are to add great faith and firm devotion. The holy + convent of the Cordeliers in this town has greatly aided, and still aids + us in preserving the above-mentioned benefits. Moreover, we wish to know + if you women also perform that which you have undertaken, and whether you + sufficiently remember the obligation you owe the Church, and therefore it + will be advisable that, by way of precaution, I should mention the + principal points. Four times a year,—that is to say at the four + Natales (*) you must confess to some priest or monk having the power of + absolution, and if at each festival you receive your Creator that will be + well done, but twice, or at least once a year, you ought to receive the + Communion. Bring an offering every Sunday to each Mass; those who are able + should freely give tithes to God—as fruit, poultry, lambs, pigs, and + other accustomed gifts. You owe also another tithe to the holy monks of + the convent of St. Francis, and which we earnestly desire to see paid. It + greatly concerns us, and we desire it to be continued, nevertheless there + are many of you who have not acted properly in this respect, and who by + negligence, or backwardness, have neglected to pay in advance. You know + that the good monks cannot come to your houses to seek their tithes;—that + would disturb and trouble them too much; it is quite enough if they take + the trouble to receive it. It is important that this should be mentioned—it + remains to see who have paid, and who still owe.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The four principal festivals in the life of Christ— + Christmas, Easter, Whitsuntide, and Ascension. +</pre> + <p> + Master John had no sooner finished his discourse, than more than twenty + women began to cry at the same time, “I have paid!” “I have paid!” “I owe + nothing!” “Nor I,” “Nor I.” A hundred other voices chimed in—generally + to say that they owed nothing—and four or six pretty young women + were even heard to declare that they had paid well in advance, one four + times; one, six; and another, ten. + </p> + <p> + There were also I know not how many old women who said not a word, and + Master John asked them if they had paid their tithe, and they replied that + they had made an arrangement with the Cordeliers. + </p> + <p> + “What!” said he, “you do not pay? You ought to advise and persuade the + others to do their duty, and you yourselves are in default!” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” said one of them, “I am not to blame. I have been several times + to perform my duty, but my confessor would not listen to me: he always + says he is too busy.” + </p> + <p> + “St. John!” said the other old women, “we have compounded with the monks + to pay them the tithe we owe them in linen, cloth, cushions, quilts, + pillow-cases and such other trifles; and that by their own instructions + and desire, for we should prefer to pay like the others.” + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady!” said Master John, “there is no harm done; it is quite + right. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose they can go away now; can they not?” said the Seigneur to + Master John. + </p> + <p> + “Yes!” said he, “but let them be sure and not forget to pay the tithe.” + </p> + <p> + When they had all left the hall, the door was closed, and every man + present looked hard at his neighbour. + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said the Seigneur. “What is to be done? We know for certain what + these ribald monks have done to us, by the confession of one of them, and + by our wives; we need no further witness.” + </p> + <p> + After many and various opinions, it was resolved to set the convent on + fire, and burn both monks and monastery. + </p> + <p> + They went to the bottom of the town, and came to the monastery, and took + away the <i>Corpus Domini</i> and all the relics and sent them to the + parish church. Then without more ado, they set fire to the convent in + several places, and did not leave till all was consumed—monks, + convent, church, dormitory, and all the other buildings, of which there + were plenty. So the poor Cordeliers had to pay very dearly for the new + tithe they had levied. Even God could do nothing, but had His house burned + down. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0033" id="linklink2H_4_0033"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="33pg (130K)" src="images/33pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-THIRD — THE LADY WHO LOST HER HAIR. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a noble lord who was in love with a damsel who cared for another + great lord, but tried to keep it secret; and of the agreement made + between the two lovers concerning her, as you shall hereafter hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble knight who lived in the marches of Burgundy, who was wise, + valiant, much esteemed, and worthy of the great reputation he had, was so + much in the graces of a fair damsel, that he was esteemed as her lover, + and obtained from her, at sundry times, all the favours that she could + honourably give him. She was also smitten with a great and noble lord, a + prudent man, whose name and qualities I pass over, though if I were to + recount them there is not one of you who would not recognise the person + intended, which I do not wish. + </p> + <p> + This gentle lord, I say, soon perceived the love affair of the valiant + gentleman just named, and asked him if he were not in the good graces of + such and such a damsel,—that is to say the lady before mentioned. + </p> + <p> + He replied that he was not, but the other, who knew the contrary to be + case, said that he was sure he was, + </p> + <p> + “For whatever he might say or do, he should not try to conceal such a + circumstance, for if the like or anything more important had occurred to + him (the speaker) he would not have concealed it.” + </p> + <p> + And having nothing else to do, and to pass the time, he found means to + make her fall in love with him. In which he succeeded, for in a very short + time he was high in her graces and could boast of having obtained her + favours without any trouble to win them. + </p> + <p> + The other did not expect to have a companion, but you must not think that + the fair wench did not treat him as well or better than before, which + encouraged him in his foolish love. And you must know that the brave wench + was not idle, for she entertained the two at once, and would with much + regret have lost either, and more especially the last-comer, for he was of + better estate and furnished with a bigger lance than her first lover; and + she always assigned them different times to come, one after the other, as + for instance one to-day and the other to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + The last-comer knew very well what she was doing, but he pretended not to, + and in fact he cared very little, except that he was rather disgusted at + the folly of the first-comer, who esteemed too highly a thing of little + value. + </p> + <p> + So he made up his mind that he would warn his rival, which he did. He knew + that the days on which the wench had forbidden him to come to her (which + displeased him much) were reserved for his friend the first-comer. He kept + watch several nights, and saw his rival enter by the same door and at the + same hour as he did himself on the other days. + </p> + <p> + One day he said to him, “You well concealed your amours with such an one. + I am rather astonished that you had so little confidence in me, + considering what I know to be really the case between you and her. And in + order that you may understand that I know all, let me tell you that I saw + you enter her house at such and such an hour, and indeed no longer ago + than yesterday I had an eye upon you, and from a place where I was, I saw + you arrive—you know whether I speak the truth.” + </p> + <p> + When the first-comer heard this accusation, he did not know what to say, + and he was forced to confess what he would have willingly concealed, and + which he thought no one knew but himself; and he told the last-comer that + he would not conceal the fact that he was in love, but begged him not to + make it known. + </p> + <p> + “And what would you say,” asked the other, “if you found you had a + companion?” + </p> + <p> + “Companion?” said he; “What companion? In a love affair? I never thought + of it.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said the last-comer, “I ought not to keep you longer in + suspense—it is I. And since I see that you are in love with a woman + who is not worth it, and if I had not more pity on you than you have on + yourself I should leave you in your folly, but I cannot suffer such a + wench to deceive you and me so long.” + </p> + <p> + If any one was astonished at this news it was the first-comer who believed + himself firmly established in the good graces of the wench, and that she + loved no one but him. He did not know what to say or think, and for a long + time could not speak a word. When at last he spoke, he said, + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady! they have given me the onion (*) and I never suspected it. I + was easily enough deceived. May the devil carry away the wench, just as + she is!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) i.e. “they have made a fool of me.” + </pre> + <p> + “She has fooled the two of us,” said the last-comer; + </p> + <p> + “at least she has begun well,—but we must even fool her.” + </p> + <p> + “Do so I beg,” said the first. “St. Anthony’s fire burn me if ever I see + the jade again.” + </p> + <p> + “You know,” said the second, “that we go to her each in turn. Well, the + next time that you go, you must tell her that you well know that I am in + love with her, and that you have seen me enter her house at such an hour, + and dressed in such a manner, and that, by heaven, if ever you find me + there again you will kill me stone dead, whatever may happen to you. I + will say the same thing about you, and we shall then see what she will say + and do, and then we shall know how to act.” + </p> + <p> + “Well said, and just what I would wish,” said the first. + </p> + <p> + As it was arranged, so was it done, for some days later it was the + last-comer’s turn to go and visit her; he set out and came to the place + appointed. + </p> + <p> + When he was alone with the wench, who received him very kindly and + lovingly it appeared, he put on—as he well knew how—a + troubled, bothered air, and pretended to be very angry. She, who had been + accustomed to see him quite otherwise, did not know what to think, and she + asked what was the matter, for his manner showed that his heart was not at + ease. + </p> + <p> + “Truly, mademoiselle,” said he, “you are right; and I have good cause to + be displeased and angry. Moreover, it is owing to you that I am in this + condition.” + </p> + <p> + “To me?” said she. “Alas, I have done nothing that I am aware of, for you + are the only man in the world to whom I would give pleasure, and whose + grief and displeasure touch my heart.” + </p> + <p> + “The man who refuses to believe that will not be damned,” said he. “Do you + think that I have not perceived that you are on good terms with so-and-so + (that is to say the first-comer). It is so, by my oath, and I have but too + often seen him speak to you apart, and, what is more, I have watched and + seen him enter here. But by heaven, if ever I find him here his last day + has come, whatever may happen to me in consequence. I could not allow him + to be aware that he has done me this injury—I would rather die a + thousand times if it were possible. And you are as false as he is for you + know of a truth that after God I love no one but you, and yet you + encourage him, and so do me great wrong!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, monseigneur!” she replied, “who has told you this story? By my soul! + I wish that God and you should know that it is quite otherwise, and I call + Him to witness that never in my life have I given an assignation to him of + whom you speak, nor to any other whoever he may be—so you have + little enough cause to be displeased with me. I will not deny that I have + spoken to him, and speak to him every day, and also to many others, but I + have never had aught to do with him, nor do I believe that he thinks of me + even for a moment, or if so, by God he is mistaken. May God not suffer me + to live if any but you has part or parcel in what is yours entirely.” + </p> + <p> + “Mademoiselle,” said he, “you talk very well, but I am not such a fool as + to believe you.” + </p> + <p> + Angry and displeased as he was, he nevertheless did that for which he + came, and on leaving, said, + </p> + <p> + “I have told you, and given you fair warning that if ever I find any other + person comes here, I will put him, or cause him to be put, in such a + condition that he will never again worry me or any one else.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Monseigneur,” she replied, “by God you are wrong to imagine such + things about him, and I am sure also that he does not think of me.” + </p> + <p> + With that, the last-comer left, and, on the morrow, his friend, the + first-comer did not fail to come early in the morning to hear the news, + and the other related to him in full all that had passed, how he had + pretended to be angry and threatened to kill his rival, and the replies + the jade made. + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said the first, “she acted the comedy well! Now let me have + my turn, and I shall be very much surprised if I do not play my part + equally well.” + </p> + <p> + A certain time afterwards his turn came, and he went to the wench, who + received him as lovingly as she always did, and as she had previously + received her other lover. If his friend the last-comer had been cross and + quarrelsome both in manner and words, he was still more so, and spoke to + her in this manner; + </p> + <p> + “I curse the hour and the day on which I made your acquaintance, for it is + not possible to load the heart of a poor lover with more sorrows, regrets, + and bitter cares than oppress and weigh down my heart to-day. Alas! I + chose you amongst all others as the perfection of beauty, gentleness, and + kindness, and hoped that I should find in you truth and fidelity, and + therefore I gave you all my heart, believing in truth that it was safe in + your keeping, and I had such faith in you that I would have met death, or + worse, had it been possible, to save your honour. Yet, when I thought + myself most sure of your faith, I learned, not only by the report of + others but by my own eyes, that another had snatched your love from me, + and deprived me of the hope of being the one person in the world who was + dearest to you.” + </p> + <p> + “My friend,” said the wench, “I do not know what your trouble is, but from + your manner and your words I judge that there is something the matter, but + I cannot tell what it is if you do not speak more plainly—unless it + be a little jealousy which torments you, and if so, I think, if you are + wise, that you will soon banish it from your mind. For I have never given + you any cause for that, as you know me well enough to be aware, and you + should be sorry for having used such expressions to me.” + </p> + <p> + “I am not the sort of man,” said he, “to be satisfied with mere words. + Your excuses are worth nothing. You cannot deny that so-and-so (that is to + say the last-comer) does not keep you. I know well he does, for I have + noticed you, and moreover, have watched, and saw him yesterday come to you + at such an hour, dressed in such and such a manner. But I swear to God he + has had his last pleasure with you, for I bear him a grudge, and were he + ten times as great a man as he is, when I meet him I will deprive him of + his life, or he shall deprive me of mine; one of us two must die for I + cannot live and see another enjoy you. You are false and disloyal to have + deceived me, and it is not without cause that I curse the hour I made your + acquaintance, for I know for a certainty that you will cause my death if + my rival knows my determination, as I hope he will. I know that I am now + as good as dead, and even if he should spare me, he does but sharpen the + knife which is to shorten his own days, and then the world would not be + big enough to save me, and die I must.” + </p> + <p> + The wench could not readily find a sufficient excuse to satisfy him in his + present state of mind. Nevertheless, she did her best to dissipate his + melancholy, and drive away his suspicions, and said to him; + </p> + <p> + “My friend, I have heard your long tirade, which, to tell the truth, makes + me reflect that I have not been so prudent as I ought, and have too + readily believed your deceitful speeches, and obeyed you in all things, + which is the reason you now think so little of me. Another reason why you + speak to me thus, is that you know that I am so much in love with you that + I cannot bear to live out of your presence. And for this cause, and many + others that I need not mention, you deem me your subject and slave, with + no right to speak or look at any but you. Since that pleases you, I am + satisfied, but you have no right to suspect me with regard to any living + person, nor have I any need to excuse myself. Truth, which conquers all + things, will right me in the end!” + </p> + <p> + “By God, my dear,” said the young man, “the truth is what I have already + told you—as both and he will find to your cost if you do not take + care.” + </p> + <p> + After these speeches, and others too long to recount here, he left, and + did not forget on the following morning to recount everything to his + friend the last-comer; and God knows what laughter and jests they had + between them. + </p> + <p> + The wench, who still had wool on her distaff (*), saw and knew very well + that each of her lovers suspected the other, nevertheless she continued to + receive them each in his turn, without sending either away. She warned + each earnestly that he must come to her in the most secret manner, in + order that he should not be perceived. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) i.e. plenty of tricks or resources. +</pre> + <p> + You must know that when the first-comer had his turn that he did not + forget to complain as before, and threatened to kill his rival should he + meet him. Also at his last meeting, he pretended to be more angry than he + really was, and made very light of his rival, who, according to him, was + as good as dead if he were caught with her. But the cunning and + double-dealing jade had so many deceitful speeches ready that her excuses + sounded as true as the Gospel. For she believed that, whatever doubts and + suspicions they had, the affair would never really be found out, and that + she was capable of satisfying them both. + </p> + <p> + It was otherwise in the end, for the last-comer, whom she was greatly + afraid to lose, one day read her a sharp lesson. In fact he told her that + he would never see her again, and did not for a long time afterwards, at + which she was much displeased and dissatisfied. + </p> + <p> + And in order to embarrass and annoy her still more, he sent to her a + gentleman, a confidential friend, to point out how disgusted he was to + find he had a rival, and to tell her, in short, that if she did not send + away this rival, that he would never see her again as long as he lived. + </p> + <p> + As you have already heard, she would not willingly give up his + acquaintance, and there was no male or female saint by whom she did not + perjure herself in explaining away her love passages with her other lover, + and at last, quite beside herself, she said to the squire; + </p> + <p> + “I will show your master that I love him; give me your knife.” + </p> + <p> + Then, when she had the knife, she took off her headdress, and with the + knife cut off all her hair—not very evenly. + </p> + <p> + The squire, who knew the facts of the case, took this present, and said he + would do his duty and give it to his master, which he soon did. The + last-comer received the parcel, which he undid, and found the hair of his + mistress, which was very long and beautiful. He did not feel much at ease + until he had sent for his friend and revealed to him the message he had + sent, and the valuable present she had given him in return, and then he + showed the beautiful long tresses. + </p> + <p> + “I fancy,” said he, “I must be very high in her good graces. You can + scarcely expect that she would do as much for you.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said the other, “this is strange news. I see plainly that I + am left out in the cold. It is finished! You are the favoured one. But let + us” he added, “think what is to be done. We must show her plainly that we + know what she is.” + </p> + <p> + “That’s what I wish,” said the other. + </p> + <p> + They thought the matter over, and arranged their plan as follows. + </p> + <p> + The next day, or soon afterwards, the two friends were in a chamber where + there were assembled their fair lady and many others. Each took his place + where he liked; the first-comer sat near the damsel, and after some talk, + he showed her the hair which she had sent to his friend. + </p> + <p> + Whatever she may have thought, she was not startled, but said she did not + know whose hair it was, but it did not belong to her. + </p> + <p> + “What?” he said. “Has it so quickly changed that it cannot be recognised?” + </p> + <p> + “That I cannot say,” she replied, “but it does not belong to me.” + </p> + <p> + When he heard that, he thought it was time to play his best card, and, as + though by accident, gave her <i>chaperon</i> (*) such a twitch that it + fell to the ground, at which she was both angry and ashamed. And all those + who were present saw that her hair was short, and had been badly hacked. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The chaperon, in the time of Charles VII, was fastened + to the shoulder by a long band which sometimes passed two or + three times round the neck, and sometimes hung down the + back. +</pre> + <p> + She rose in haste, and snatched up her head-dress, and ran into another + chamber to attire herself, and he followed her. He found her angry and + ashamed, and weeping bitterly with vexation at being thus caught. He asked + her what she had to weep about, and at what game she had lost her hair? + </p> + <p> + She did not know what to reply, she was so vexed and astonished; and he, + who was determined to carry out the arrangement he had concluded with his + friend, said to her; + </p> + <p> + “False and disloyal as you are, you have not cared that I and my friend + were deceived and dishonoured. You wished,—as you have plainly shown—to + add two more victims to your list, but, thank God, we were on our guard. + And, in order that you may see that we both know you, here is your hair + which you sent him, and which he has presented to me; and do not believe + that we are such fools as you have hitherto thought us.” + </p> + <p> + Then he called his friend, who came, and the first said, + </p> + <p> + “I have given back this fair damsel her hair, an have begun to tell her + how she has accepted the love of both of us, and how by her manner of + acting she has shown us that she did not care whether she disgraced us + both—may God save us!” + </p> + <p> + “Truly—by St. John!” said the other, and thereupon he made a long + speech to the wench, and God knows he talked to her well, remonstrating + with her on her cowardice and disloyal heart. Never was woman so well + lectured as she was at that time, first by one then by the other. + </p> + <p> + She was so taken by surprise that she did not know what to reply, except + by tears, which she shed abundantly. + </p> + <p> + She had never had enough pleasure out of both her lovers to compensate for + the vexation she suffered at that moment. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, in the end they did not desert her, but lived as they did + before, each taking his turn, and if by chance they both came to her + together, the one gave place to the other, and they were both good friends + as before, without ever talking of killing or fighting. + </p> + <p> + For a long time the two friends continued this pleasant manner of loving, + and the poor wench never dared to refuse either of them. And whenever the + one wished to have intercourse with her, he told the other, and whenever + the second went to see her, the first stayed at home. They made each other + many compliments, and sent one another rondels and songs which are now + celebrated, about the circumstances I have already related, and of which I + now conclude the account. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0023" id="linklinkimage-0023"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/34.jpg" width="100%" alt="34.jpg" + title="The Man Above and The Man Below. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0034" id="linklink2H_4_0034"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="34pg (130K)" src="images/34pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-FOURTH — THE MAN ABOVE AND THE MAN BELOW. <a + href="#linklinknote-34" name="linklinknoteref-34" id="linklinknoteref-34">34</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monsigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a married woman who gave rendezvous to two lovers, who came and + visited her, and her husband came soon after, and of the words which + passed between them, as you shall presently hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I knew in my time a brave and worthy woman, deserving to be remembered and + respected, for her virtues should not be hidden and kept dark, but + publicly blazoned to the world. You will shortly hear, if you will, in + this story something which will increase and magnify her fame. + </p> + <p> + This gallant wench was married to a countryman of ours, and had many + lovers seeking and desiring her favours,—which were not over + difficult to obtain, for she was so kind and compassionate that she both + would and could bestow herself freely whenever she liked. + </p> + <p> + It happened one day that two men came to see her, as both were accustomed, + to ask for a rendezvous. She would not have retreated before two or even + three, and appointed a day and hour for each to come to her—the one + at eight o’clock the morrow morning, and the other at nine, and charged + each one expressly that he should not fail to keep his appointed hour. + </p> + <p> + They promised on their faith and honour that if they were alive they would + keep their assignation. + </p> + <p> + When the morrow came, at about 6 o’clock in the morning, the husband of + this brave wench rose, dressed himself, and called his wife, but she + bluntly refused to get up when ordered. + </p> + <p> + “Faith!” she said, “I have such a headache that I cannot stand on my feet, + or if I did get up I should die, I am so weak and worn-out; and, as you + know, I did not sleep all the night. I beg of you to leave me here, and I + hope that when I am alone I shall get a little rest.” + </p> + <p> + Her husband, though he suspected something, did not dare to contradict her + or reply, but went about his business in the town, whilst his wife was not + idle at home, for eight o’clock had no sooner struck than the honest + fellow, to whom on the previous day an assignation had been given, came + and knocked at the door, and she let him in. He soon took off his long + gown and his other clothes, and joined madame in bed, in order to cheer + her up. + </p> + <p> + Whilst these two were locked in each other’s arms, and otherwise engaged, + the time passed quickly without her noticing it, when she heard some one + knock loudly at the door. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she said, “as I live, there is my husband; make haste and take your + clothes.” + </p> + <p> + “Your husband?” he said, “Why, do you know his knock?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” she replied, “I know it very well. Make haste lest he find you + here.” + </p> + <p> + “If it be your husband, he must find me here, for I know not where I can + hide.” + </p> + <p> + “No, please God, he must not find you here, for you would be killed and so + should I, he is so terrible. Get up into this little attic, and keep quite + quiet and do not move, that he may not find you here.” + </p> + <p> + The other climbed into the garret as he was told, and found the planks + stripped away in many places, and the laths broken. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he was safe, mademoiselle made one bound to the door, knowing + very well that it was not her husband who was there, and let in the man + who had promised to come to her at nine o’clock. They came into the + chamber, where they were not long on their feet, but laid down and cuddled + and kissed in the same manner as he in the garret had done, whilst he, + through a chink, kept his eye on the couple, and was not best pleased. He + could not make up his mind whether he should speak or hold his tongue. At + last he determined to keep silence, and not say a word till the + opportunity came,—and you may guess that he had plenty of patience. + </p> + <p> + Whilst he was waiting and looking at the lady engaged with the last comer, + the worthy husband came home to enquire after the health of his good wife, + as it was very proper of him to do. + </p> + <p> + She soon heard him, and as quickly as may be, made her lover get out of + bed, and as she did not know where to hide him, since she could not put + him in the garret, she made him lie down between the bed and the wall, and + covered him with his clothes, and said to him. + </p> + <p> + “I have no better place to put you—have a little patience.” + </p> + <p> + She had hardly finished speaking when her husband came into the room, and + though he had heard nothing, he found the bed all rumpled and tossed + about, the quilt dirty and soiled, and looking more like the bed of a + bride than the couch of an invalid. + </p> + <p> + The doubts he had formerly entertained, combined with the appearance of + the bed, made him call his wife by her name, and say. + </p> + <p> + “Wicked whore that you are! I did not believe you when you shammed illness + this morning! Where is the whoremonger? I swear to God, if I find him, he + will have a bad end, and you too.” Then, putting his hand on the quilt, he + went on. “This looks nice, doesn’t it? It looks as though the pigs had + slept on it!” + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter with you, you nasty drunkard?” she replied. “Why make + me suffer when you get too much wine in your belly? That’s a nice + salutation, to call me a whore! I would have you to know that I am nothing + of the kind, but much too virtuous and too honest for a rascal like you, + and my only regret is that I have been so good to you, for you are not + worth it. I do not know why I do not get up and scratch your face in such + a manner that you would remember it all your life, for having abused me + without cause.” + </p> + <p> + If you ask how she dared reply to her husband in this manner, I should + answer there were two reasons,—that is she had both right and might + on her side. For, as you may guess, if it had come to blows, both the + lover in the garret, and the one by the bed, would have come to her + assistance. + </p> + <p> + The poor husband did not know what to say when he heard his wife abuse him + thus, and as he saw that big words were of no use, he left the matter to + God, who does justice to all, and replied; + </p> + <p> + “You make many excuses for your palpable faults, but I care little what + you say. I am not going to quarrel and make a noise; there is One above + who will repay all!” + </p> + <p> + By “One above”, he meant God,—as though he had said, + </p> + <p> + “God, who gives everyone his due, will repay you according to your + deserts.” But the gallant who was in the garret, and heard these words, + really believed they were meant for him, and that he was expected to pay + for the misdeeds of another besides himself, and he replied aloud; + </p> + <p> + “What? Surely it will suffice if I pay half! The man who is down by the + side of the bed can pay the other half—he is as much concerned as I + am!” + </p> + <p> + You may guess that the husband was much astonished, for he thought that + God was speaking to him; and the man by the bed did not know what to + think, for he knew nothing about the existence of the other man. He + quickly jumped up, and the other man came down, and they recognised each + other. + </p> + <p> + They went off together, and left the couple looking vexed and angry, but + they did not trouble much about that and for good reason. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0035" id="linklink2H_4_0035"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="35pg (131K)" src="images/35pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-FIFTH — THE EXCHANGE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Villiers. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight whose mistress married whilst he was on his travels, and + on his return, by chance he came to her house, and she, in order that + she might sleep with him, caused a young damsel, her chamber-maid, to go + to bed with her husband; and of the words that passed between the + husband and the knight his guest, as are more fully recorded hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A gentleman, a knight of this kingdom, a most virtuous man, and of great + renown, a great traveller and a celebrated warrior, fell in love with a + very beautiful damsel, and so advanced in her good graces that nothing + that he demanded was refused him. It happened, I know not how long after + that, this good knight, to acquire honour and merit, left his castle, in + good health and well accompanied, by the permission of his master, to bear + arms elsewhere, and he went to Spain and various places, where he did such + feats that he was received in great triumph at his return. + </p> + <p> + During this time the lady married an old knight who was courteous and + wise, and who in his time had been a courtier, and—to say truth—was + known as the very mirror of honour. It was a matter for regret that he did + not marry better, but at any rate he had not then discovered his wife’s + misconduct, as he did afterwards, as you shall hear. + </p> + <p> + The first-named knight, returning from the war, as he was travelling + through the country, arrived by chance one night at the castle where his + mistress lived, and God knows what good cheer she and her husband made for + him, for there had been a great friendship between them. + </p> + <p> + But you must know that whilst the master of the house was doing all he + could to honour his guest, the guest was conversing with his former + lady-love, and was willing to renew with her the intimacy that had existed + before she married. She asked for nothing better, but excused herself on + account of want of opportunity. + </p> + <p> + “It is not possible to find a chance.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, madam,” he said, “by my oath, if you want to, you will make a chance. + When your husband is in bed and asleep, you can come to my chamber, or, if + you prefer it, I will come to you.” + </p> + <p> + “It cannot be managed so,” she replied; “the danger is too great; for + monseigneur is a very light sleeper, and he never wakes but what he feels + for me, and if he did not find me, you may guess what it would be.” + </p> + <p> + “And when he does find you,” he said, “what does he do to you?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing else,” she replied; “he turns over on the other side.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith!” said he, “he is a very bad bed-fellow; it is very lucky for you + that I came to your aid to perform for you what he cannot.” + </p> + <p> + “So help me God,” she said, “when he lies with me once a month it is the + best he can do. I may be difficult to please, but I could take a good deal + more than that. + </p> + <p> + “That is not to be wondered at,” he said; “but let us consider what we + shall do.” + </p> + <p> + “There is no way that I see,” she replied, “that it can be managed.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” he said; “have you no woman in the house to whom you can explain + the difficulty?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, by God! I have one,” she said, “in whom I have such confidence that + I would tell her anything in the world I wanted kept secret? without + fearing that she would ever repeat it.” + </p> + <p> + “What more do we want then?” he said. “The rest concerns you and her.” + </p> + <p> + The lady who was anxious to be with her lover, called the damsel, and + said, + </p> + <p> + “My dear, you must help me to-night to do something which is very dear to + my heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Madam,” said the damsel, “I am ready and glad, as I ought to be, to serve + you and obey you in any way possible; command me, and I will perform your + orders.” + </p> + <p> + “I thank you, my dear,” said madam, “and be sure that you will lose + nothing by it. This is what is the matter. The knight here is the man whom + I love best in all the world, and I would not that he left here without my + having a few words with him. Now he cannot tell me what is in his heart + unless we be alone together, and you are the only person to take my place + by the side of monseigneur. He is accustomed, as you know, to turn in the + night and touch me, and then he leaves me and goes to sleep again.” + </p> + <p> + “I will do your pleasure, madam; there is nothing that you can command + that I will not do.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, my dear,” she said, “you will go to bed as I do, keeping a good way + off from monseigneur, and take care that if he should speak to you not to + reply, and suffer him to do whatever he may like.” + </p> + <p> + “I will do your pleasure, madam.” + </p> + <p> + Supper-time came. There is no need to describe the meal, suffice it to say + there was good cheer and plenty of it, and after supper, sports, and the + visitor took madam’s arm, and the other gentlemen escorted the other + damsels. The host came last, and enquired about the knight’s travels from + an old gentleman who had accompanied him. + </p> + <p> + Madame did not forget to tell her lover that one of her women would take + her place that night, and that she would come to him; at which he was very + joyful, and thanked her much, and wished that the hour had come. + </p> + <p> + They returned to the reception hall, where monseigneur said good night to + his guest, and his wife did the same. The visitor went to his chamber, + which was large and well-furnished, and there was a fine sideboard laden + with spices and preserves, and good wine of many sorts. + </p> + <p> + He soon undressed, and drank a cup, and made his attendants drink also, + and then sent them to bed, and remained alone, waiting for the lady, who + was with her husband. Both she and her husband undressed and got into bed. + </p> + <p> + The damsel was in the <i>ruelle</i>, and as soon as my lord was in bed, + she took the place of her mistress, who—as her heart desired—made + but one bound to the chamber of the lover, who was anxiously awaiting her. + </p> + <p> + Thus were they all lodged—monseigneur with the chambermaid, and his + guest with madame—and you may guess that these two did not pass all + the night in sleeping. + </p> + <p> + Monseigneur, as was his wont, awoke an hour before day-break, and turned + to the chamber-maid, believing it to be his wife, and to feel her he put + out his hand, which by chance encountered one of her breasts, which were + large and firm, and he knew at once that it was not his wife, for she was + not well furnished in that respect. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” he said to himself, “I understand what it is! They are playing + me a trick, and I will play them another.” + </p> + <p> + He turned towards the girl, and with some trouble managed to break a + lance, but she let him do it without uttering a word or half a word. + </p> + <p> + When he had finished, he began to call as loudly as he could to the man + who was sleeping with his wife. + </p> + <p> + “Hallo! my lord of such a place! Where are you? Speak to me!” + </p> + <p> + The other, when he heard himself called, was much astonished, and the lady + quite overwhelmed with shame. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” she said, “our deeds are discovered: I am a lost woman!” + </p> + <p> + Her husband called out, + </p> + <p> + “Hallo, monseigneur! hallo, my guest! Speak to me.” + </p> + <p> + The other ventured to speak, and said, + </p> + <p> + “What is it, so please you, monsiegneur?” + </p> + <p> + “I will make this exchange with you whenever you like.” + </p> + <p> + “What exchange?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “An old, worn-out false, treacherous woman, for a good, pretty, and fresh + young girl. That is what I have gained by the exchange and I thank you for + it.” + </p> + <p> + None of the others knew what to reply, even the poor chamber-maid wished + she were dead, both on account of the dishonour to her mistress and the + unfortunate loss of her own virginity. + </p> + <p> + The visitor left the lady and the castle as soon as could, without + thanking his host, or saying farewell. And never again did he go there, so + he never knew how she settled the matter with her husband afterwards, so I + can tell you no more. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0036" id="linklink2H_4_0036"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="36pg (135K)" src="images/36pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-SIXTH — AT WORK. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a squire who saw his mistress, whom he greatly loved, between two + other gentlemern, and did not notice that she had hold of both of them + till another knight informed him of the matter as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A kind and noble gentleman, who wished to spend his time in the service of + the Court of Love, devoted himself, heart, body, and goods, to a fair and + honest damsel who well deserved it, and who was specially suited to do + what she liked with men; and his amour with her lasted long. And he + thought that he stood high in her good graces, though to say the truth, he + was no more a favourite than the others, of whom there were many. + </p> + <p> + It happened one day that this worthy gentleman found his lady, by chance, + in the embrasure of a window, between a knight and a squire, to whom she + was talking. Sometimes she would speak to one apart and not let the other + hear, another time she did the same to the other, to please both of them, + but the poor lover was greatly vexed and jealous, and did not dare to + approach the group. + </p> + <p> + The only thing to do was to walk away from her, although he desired her + presence more than anything else in the world. His heart told him that + this conversation would not tend to his advantage, in which he was not far + wrong. For, if his eyes had not been blinded by affection, he could easily + have seen what another, who was not concerned, quickly perceived, and + showed him, in this wise. + </p> + <p> + When he saw and knew for certain that the lady had neither leisure nor + inclination to talk to him, he retired to a couch and lay down, but he + could not sleep. + </p> + <p> + Whilst he was thus sulking, there came a gentleman, who saluted all the + company, and seeing that the damsel was engaged, withdrew to the recess + where the squire was lying sleepless upon the couch; and amongst other + conversation the squire said, + </p> + <p> + “By my faith, monseigneur, look towards the window; there are some people + who are making themselves comfortable. Do you not see how pleasantly they + are talking.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John, I see them,” said the knight, “and see that they are doing + something more than talking.” + </p> + <p> + “What else?” said the other. + </p> + <p> + “What else? Do you not see that she has got hold of both of them?” + </p> + <p> + “Got hold of them!” + </p> + <p> + “Truly yes, poor fellow! Where are your eyes? But there is a great + difference between the two, for the one she holds in her left hand is + neither so big nor so long as that which she holds in her right hand.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” said the squire, “you say right. May St. Anthony burn the wanton;” + and you may guess that he was not well pleased. + </p> + <p> + “Take no heed,” said the knight, “and bear your wrong as patiently as you + can. It is not here that you have to show your courage: make a virtue of + necessity.” + </p> + <p> + Having thus spoken, the worthy knight approached the window where the + three were standing, and noticed by chance that the knight on the left, + hand, was standing on tip-toe, attending to what the fair damsel and the + squire were saying and doing. + </p> + <p> + Giving him a slight tap on his hat, the knight said, + </p> + <p> + “Mind your own business in the devil’s name, and don’t trouble about other + people.” + </p> + <p> + The other withdrew, and began to laugh, but the damsel, who was not the + sort of woman to care about trifles, scarcely showed any concern, but + quietly let go her hold without brushing or changing colour, though she + was sorry in her heart to let out of her hand what she could have well + used in another place. + </p> + <p> + As you may guess, both before and after that time, either of those two + would most willingly have done her a service, and the poor, sick lover was + obliged to be a witness of the greatest misfortune which could happen to + him, and his poor heart would have driven him to despair, if reason had + not come to his help, and caused him to abandon his love affairs, out of + which he had never derived any benefit. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0024" id="linklinkimage-0024"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/37.jpg" width="100%" alt="37.jpg" + title="The Use of Dirty Water. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0037" id="linklink2H_4_0037"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="37pg (131K)" src="images/37pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-SEVENTH — THE USE OF DIRTY WATER. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a jealous man who recorded all the tricks which he could hear or + learn by which wives had deceived their husbands in old times; but at + last he was deceived by means of dirty water which the lover of the said + lady threw out of window upon her as she was going to Mass, as you shall + hear hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Whilst others are thinking and ransacking their memories for adventures + and deeds fit to be narrated and added to the present history, I will + relate to you, briefly, how the most jealous man in this kingdom, in his + time, was deceived. I do not suppose that he was the only one who ever + suffered this misfortune, but at any rate I will not omit to describe the + clever trick that was played upon him. + </p> + <p> + This jealous old hunks was a great historian, and had often read and + re-read all sorts of stories; but the principal end and aim of all his + study was to learn and know all the ways and manners in which wives had + deceived their husbands. For—thank God—old histories like + Matheolus (*), Juvenal, the Fifteen Joys of Marriage (**), and more others + than I can count, abound in descriptions of deceits, tricks, and + deceptions of that sort. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) <i>Le Lime</i>, de Matheolus, a poem of the early part of the + 15th Century, written by Jean le Febvre, Bishop of + Therouenne. It is a violent satire against women. + + (**) A curious old work the authorship of which is still + doubtful. It is often ascribed to Antoine de la Sale, who is + believed to have partly written and edited the <i>Cent + Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>. The allusion is interesting as showing + that the Quinze Joyes de mariage was written before the + present work. +</pre> + <p> + Our jealous husband had always one or other of these books in his hand, + and was as fond of them as a fool is of his bauble,—reading or + studying them; and indeed he had made from these books a compendium for + his own use, in which all the tricks and deceits practised by wives on + their husbands were noted and described. + </p> + <p> + This he had done in order to be forewarned and on his guard, should his + wife perchance use any of the plans or subterfuges chronicled or + registered in his book. For he watched his wife as carefully as the most + jealous Italian would, and still was not content, so ruled was he by this + cursed passion of jealousy. + </p> + <p> + In this delectable state did the poor man live three or four years with + his wife, and the only amusement she had in that time was to escape out of + his hateful presence by going to Mass, and then she was always accompanied + by an old servant, who was charged to watch over her. + </p> + <p> + A gentle knight, who had heard how the fair lady was watched, one day met + the damsel, who was both beautiful and witty, and told her how willing he + was to do her a service, that he sighed for her love, and condoled with + her evil fortune in being allied to the most jealous wretch there was on + the face of the earth, and saying, moreover, that she was the sole person + on earth for whom he cared. + </p> + <p> + “And since I cannot tell you here how much I love you, and many other + things which I hope you will be glad to hear, I will, if you wish, put it + all in writing and give it you to-morrow, begging also that any small + service that I most willingly do for you, be not refused.” + </p> + <p> + She gladly listened, but owing to the presence of Dangier, (*) who was + near, hardly replied; nevertheless she said she would be glad to have his + letter when it came. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) See note page 159. +</pre> + <p> + Her lover was very joyful when he took leave of her, and with good cause, + and the damsel said farewell to him in a kind and gracious manner, but the + old woman, who watched her, did not fail to ask her what conversation had + taken place between her and the man who had just left. + </p> + <p> + “He brought me news of my mother,” she replied; “at which I am very + joyful, for she is in good health.” + </p> + <p> + The old woman asked no more, and they returned home. + </p> + <p> + On the morrow, the lover, provided with a letter written God knows in what + terms, met the lady, and gave her this letter so quickly and cunningly + that the old servant, who was watching, saw nothing. + </p> + <p> + The letter was opened by her most joyfully when she was alone. The gist of + the contents was that he had fallen in love with her, and that he knew not + a day’s happiness when he was absent from her, and finally hoped that she + would of her kindness appoint a suitable place where she could give him a + reply to this letter. + </p> + <p> + She wrote a reply in which she said she could love no one but her husband, + to whom she owed all faith and loyalty; nevertheless, she was pleased to + know the writer was so much in love with her, but, though she could + promise him no reward, would be glad to hear what he had to say, but + certainly that could not be, because her husband never left her except + when she went to church, and then she was guarded, and more than guarded, + by the dirtiest old hag that ever interfered with anybody. + </p> + <p> + The lover, dressed quite differently to what he had been the preceding + day, met the lady, who knew him at once, and as he passed close to her, + received from her hand the letter already mentioned. That he was anxious + to know the contents was no marvel. He went round a corner, and there, at + his leisure, learned the condition of affairs, which seemed to be + progressing favourably. + </p> + <p> + It needed but time and place to carry out his enterprise, and he thought + night and day how this was to be accomplished. At last he thought of a + first-rate trick, for he remembered that a lady friend of his lived + between the church where his lady went to Mass and her house, and he told + her the history of his love affair, concealing nothing from her, and + begging her to help him. + </p> + <p> + “Whatever I can do for you, I will do with all my heart,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “I thank you,” said he. “Would you mind if I met her here?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith!” she said, “to please you, I do not mind!” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” he replied, “if ever it is in my power to do you a service, you + may be sure that I will remember this kindness.” + </p> + <p> + He was not satisfied till he had written again to his lady-love and given + her the letter, in which he said that he had made an arrangement with a + certain woman, “who is a great friend of mine, a respectable woman, who + can loyally keep a secret, and who knows you well and loves you, and who + will lend us her house where we may meet. And this is the plan I have + devised. I will be to-morrow in an upper chamber which looks on the + street, and I will have by me a large pitcher of water mingled with ashes, + which I will upset on you suddenly as you pass. And I shall be so + disguised that neither your old woman, nor anyone else in the world, will + recognise me. When you have been drenched with this water, you will + pretend to be very angry and surprised, and take refuge in the house, and + send your Dangier to seek another gown; and while she is on the road we + will talk together.” + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, the letter was given, and the lady, who was very + well pleased, sent a reply. + </p> + <p> + The next day came, and the lady was drenched by her lover with a pitcher + of water and cinders, in such fashion that her kerchief, gown, and other + habiliments were all spoiled and ruined. God knows that she was very + astonished and displeased, and rushed into the house, as though she were + beside herself, and ignorant of where she was. + </p> + <p> + When she saw the lady of the house, she complained bitterly of the + mischief which had been done, and I cannot tell you how much she grieved + over this misadventure. Now she grieved for her kerchief, now for her + gown, and another time for her other clothes,—in short, if anyone + had heard her, they would have thought the world was coming to an end. + </p> + <p> + The old woman, who was also in a great rage, had a knife in her hand, with + which she scraped the gown as well as she could. + </p> + <p> + “No, no, my friend! you only waste your time. It cannot be cleaned as + easily as that: you cannot do any good. I must have another gown and + another kerchief-there is nothing else to be done. Go home and fetch them, + and make haste and come back, or we shall lose the Mass in addition to our + other troubles.” + </p> + <p> + The old woman seeing that there was imperative need of the clothes, did + not dare to refuse her mistress, and took the gown and kerchief under her + mantle, and went home. + </p> + <p> + She had scarcely turned on her heels, before her mistress was conducted to + the chamber where her lover was, who was pleased to see her in a simple + petticoat and with her hair down. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they are talking together, let us return to the old woman, who went + back to the house, where she found her master, who did not wait for her to + speak, but asked her at once, + </p> + <p> + “What have you done with my wife? where is she?” + </p> + <p> + “I have left her,” she replied, “at such a person’s house, in such a + place.” + </p> + <p> + “And for what purpose?” said he. + </p> + <p> + Then she showed him the gown and the kerchief, and told him about the + pitcher of water and ashes, and said that she had been sent to seek other + clothes, for her mistress could not leave the place where she was in that + state. + </p> + <p> + “Is that so?” said he. “By Our Lady! that trick is not in my book! Go! Go! + I know well what has happened.” + </p> + <p> + He would have added that he was cuckolded, and I believe he was at that + time, and he never again kept a record of the various tricks that had been + played on husbands. Moreover, it is believed that he never forgot the + trick which had been played on him. There was no need for him to write it + down—he preserved a lively memory of it the few good days that he + had to live. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0025" id="linklinkimage-0025"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/38.jpg" width="100%" alt="38.jpg" + title="A Rod for Another’s Back. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0038" id="linklink2H_4_0038"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="38pg (124K)" src="images/38pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-EIGHTH — A ROD FOR ANOTHER’S BACK. <a + href="#linklinknote-38" name="linklinknoteref-38" id="linklinknoteref-38">38</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By The Seneschal Of Guyenne. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a citizen of Tours who bought a lamprey which he sent to his wife + to cook in order that he might give a feast to the priest, and the said + wife sent it to a Cordelier, who was her lover, and how she made a woman + who was her neighbour sleep with her husband, and how the woman was + beaten, and what the wife made her husband believe, as you will hear + hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + There was formerly a merchant of Tours, who, to give a feast to his curé + and other worthy people, bought a large lamprey, and sent it to his house, + and charged his wife to cook it, as she well knew how to do. + </p> + <p> + “And see,” said he, “that the dinner is ready at twelve o’clock, for I + shall bring our curé, and some other people” (whom he named). + </p> + <p> + “All shall be ready,” she replied, “bring whom you will.” + </p> + <p> + She prepared a lot of nice fish, and when she saw the lamprey she wished + that her paramour, a Cordelier, could have it, and said to herself, + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Brother Bernard, why are you not here? By my oath, you should not + leave till you had tasted this lamprey, or, if you liked, you should take + it to your own room, and I would not fail to keep you company.” + </p> + <p> + It was with great regret that the good woman began to prepare the lamprey + for her husband, for she was thinking how the Cordelier could have it. She + thought so much about it that she finally determined to send the lamprey + by an old woman, who knew her secret. She did so, and told the Cordelier + that she would come at night, and sup and sleep with him. + </p> + <p> + When the Cordelier heard that she was coming, you may guess that he was + joyful and contented, and he told the old woman that he would get some + good wine to do honour to the lamprey. The old woman returned, and + delivered his message. + </p> + <p> + About twelve o’clock came our merchant, the curé, and the other guests, to + eat this lamprey, which had now gone far out of their reach. When they + were all in the merchant’s house, he took them all into the kitchen to + show them the big lamprey that he was going to give them, and called his + wife, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Show us our lamprey, I want to tell our guests how cheap I bought it.” + </p> + <p> + “What lamprey?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “The lamprey that I gave you for our dinner, along with the other fish.” + </p> + <p> + “I have seen no lamprey,” she said; “I think you must be dreaming. Here + are a carp, two pike, and I know not what fish beside, but I have seen no + lamprey to day.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” said he. “Do you think I am drunk?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied the curé and the other guests, “we think no less. You are + too niggardly to buy such a lamprey.” + </p> + <p> + “By God,” said his wife, “he is either making fun of you or he is dreaming—for + certainly I have never seen this lamprey.” + </p> + <p> + Her husband grew angry, and cried, + </p> + <p> + “You lie, you whore! Either you have eaten it, or you have hidden it + somewhere. I promise you it will be the dearest lamprey you ever had.” + </p> + <p> + With that he turned to the curé and the others, and swore by God’s death + and a hundred other oaths, that he had given his wife a lamprey which had + cost him a franc; but they, to tease him and torment him still more, + pretended not to believe him, and that they were very disappointed, and + said; + </p> + <p> + “We were invited to dinner at such houses, but we refused in order to come + here, thinking we were going to eat this lamprey; but, as far as we can + see, there is no chance of that.” + </p> + <p> + Their host, who was in a terrible rage, picked up a stick, and advanced + towards his wife to thrash her, but the others held him back, and dragged + him by force out of the house, and with much trouble appeased him as well + as they could. Then, since they could not have the lamprey, the curé had + the table laid, and they made as good cheer as they could. + </p> + <p> + The good dame meanwhile sent for one of her neighbours, who was a widow, + but still good-looking and lively, and invited her to dinner; and when she + saw her opportunity, she said; + </p> + <p> + “My dear neighbour, it would be very kind of you to do me a great service + and pleasure, and if you will do this for me, I will repay you in a manner + that will please you.” + </p> + <p> + “And what do you want me to do?” asked the other. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you,” said she. “My husband is so violent in his night-work + that it is astounding, and, in fact, last night he so tumbled me, that by + my oath I am afraid of him to-night. Therefore I would beg of you to take + my place, and if ever I can do anything for you in return, you may command + me—body and goods.” + </p> + <p> + The good neighbour, to oblige her, promised to take her place—for + which she was greatly thanked. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that our merchant when he returned from dinner, laid in + a good stock of birch rods, which he carried secretly into his house, and + hid near his bed, saying to himself that if his wife worried him she + should be well paid. + </p> + <p> + But he did not do this so secretly but what his wife was on her guard and + prepared, for she knew by long experience her husband’s brutality. + </p> + <p> + He did not sup at home, but stopped out late, and came home when he + expected she would be in bed and naked. But his design failed, for late + that evening she made her neighbour undress and go to bed in her place, + and charged her expressly not to speak to her husband when he came, but + pretend to be dumb and ill. And she did more, for she put out the fire + both in the chamber and in the kitchen. That being done, she told her + neighbour that as soon as ever her husband rose in the morning, she was to + leave and return to her own house, and she promised that she would. + </p> + <p> + The neighbour being thus put to bed, the brave woman went off to the + Cordelier to eat the lamprey and gain her pardons, as was her custom. + </p> + <p> + While she was feasting there, the merchant came home after supper, full of + spite and anger about the lamprey, and to execute the plan he had + conceived, took his rods in his hand and then searched for a light for the + candle, but found no fire even in the chimney. + </p> + <p> + When he saw that, he went to bed without saying a word, and slept till + dawn, when he rose and dressed, and took his rods, and so thrashed his + wife’s substitute, in revenge for the lamprey, till she bled all over, and + the sheets of the bed were as bloody as though a bullock had been flayed + on them, but the poor woman did not dare to say a word, or even to show + her face. + </p> + <p> + His rods being all broken, and his arm tired, he left the house, and the + poor woman, who had expected to enjoy the pleasant pastime of the sports + of love, went home soon afterwards to bemoan her ill-luck and her wounds, + and not without cursing and threatening the woman who had brought this + upon her. + </p> + <p> + Whilst the husband was still away from home, the good woman returned from + seeing the Cordelier, and found the bed-chamber all strewn with birch + twigs, the bed all crumpled, and the sheets covered with blood, and she + then knew that her neighbour had suffered bodily injury, as she had + expected. She at once remade the bed, and put on fresh and clean sheets, + and swept the chamber, and then she went to see her neighbour, whom she + found in a pitiable condition, and it need not be said was not able to + give her any consolation. + </p> + <p> + As soon as she could, she returned home, and undressed, and laid down on + the fair white bed that she had prepared, and slept well till her husband + returned from the town, his anger quite dissipated by the revenge he had + taken, and came to his wife whom he found in bed pretending to sleep. + </p> + <p> + “What is the meaning of this, mademoiselle?” he said. “Is it not time to + get up?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh dear!” she said, “is it day yet? By my oath I never heard you get up. + I was having a dream which had lasted a long time.” + </p> + <p> + “I expect,” he replied, “that you were dreaming about the lamprey, were + you not? It would not be very wonderful if you did, for I gave you + something to remember it by this morning.” + </p> + <p> + “By God!” she said, “I never thought about you or your lamprey.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” said he. “Have you so soon forgotten?” + </p> + <p> + “Forgotten?” she answered. “Why not? a dream is soon forgotten.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, did you dream about the bundle of birch rods I used on you + not two hours ago?” + </p> + <p> + “On me?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, certainly; on you,” he said. “I know very well I thrashed you + soundly, as the sheets of the bed would show.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, dear friend,” she replied, “I do not know what you did or + dreamed, but for my part I recollect very well that this morning you + indulged in the sports of love with much desire; I am sure that if you + dreamed you did anything else to me it must be like yesterday, when you + made sure you had given me the lamprey.” + </p> + <p> + “That would be a strange dream,” said he. “Show yourself that I may see + you.” + </p> + <p> + She turned down the bed-clothes and showed herself quite naked, and + without mark or wound. He saw also that the sheets were fair and white, + and without any stain. It need not be said that he was much astonished, + and he thought the matter over for a long time, and was silent. At last he + said; + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, my dear, I imagined that I gave you a good beating this + morning, even till you bled—but I see well I did nothing of the + kind, and I do not know exactly what <i>did</i> happen.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry!” she said “Get the idea that you have beaten me out of your head, + for you never touched me, as you can see. Make up your mind that you + dreamed it.” + </p> + <p> + “I am sure you are right,” said he, “and I beg of you to pardon me, for I + did wrong to abuse you before all the strangers I brought to the house.” + </p> + <p> + “That is easily pardoned,” she replied; “but at any rate take care that + you are not so rash and hasty another time.” + </p> + <p> + “No, I will not be, my dear!” said he. + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, was the merchant deceived by his wife, and made + to believe that he had dreamed that he had bought the lamprey; also in the + other matters mentioned above. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0026" id="linklinkimage-0026"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/39.jpg" width="100%" alt="39.jpg" + title=" Both Well Served. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0039" id="linklink2H_4_0039"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="39pg (135K)" src="images/39pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE THIRTY-NINTH — BOTH WELL SERVED. <a href="#linklinknote-39" name="linklinknoteref-39" id="linklinknoteref-39">39</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Saint Pol. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight who, whilst he was waiting for his mistress amused + himself three times with her maid, who had been sent to keep him company + that he might not be dull; and afterwards amused himself three times + with the lady, and how the husband learned it all from the maid, as you + will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble knight of the Marches of Haynau—rich, powerful, brave, and a + good fellow—was in love with a fair lady for a long time, and was so + esteemed and secretly loved by her, that whenever he liked he repaired to + a private and remote part of her castle, where she came to visit him, and + they conversed at their leisure of their pleasant mutual love. + </p> + <p> + Not a soul knew of their pleasant pastime, except a damsel who served the + lady, and who had kept the matter secret for a long time, and had served + the dame so willingly in all her affairs that she was worthy of a great + reward. Moreover, she was such a good girl, that not only had she gained + the affection of her mistress for her services in this and other matters, + but the husband of the lady esteemed her as much as his wife did, because + he found her good, trustworthy, and diligent. + </p> + <p> + It chanced one day that the lady knew her aforesaid lover to be in the + house, but could not go to him as soon as she wished, because her husband + detained her; at which she was much vexed, and sent the damsel to tell him + that he must yet have patience, and that, as soon as she could get rid of + her husband, she would come to him. + </p> + <p> + The damsel went to the knight, who was awaiting the lady, and delivered + her message, and he, being a courteous knight, thanked her much for her + message, and made her sit by him; then tenderly kissed her two or three + times. She did not object, which gave the knight encouragement to proceed + to other liberties, which also were not refused him. + </p> + <p> + This being finished, she returned to her mistress, and told her that her + lover was anxiously awaiting her. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said the lady, “I know full well he is, but my husband will not go + to bed, and there are a lot of people here whom I cannot leave. God curse + them! I would much rather be with him. He is very dull, is he not—all + alone up there?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith! I believe he is,” replied the damsel, “but he comforts himself as + well as he can with the hope of your coming.‘’ + </p> + <p> + “That I believe, but at any rate he has been all alone, and without a + light, for more than two hours; it must be very lonely. I beg you, my + dear, to go back to him again and make excuses for me, and stay with him. + May the devil take the people who keep me here!” + </p> + <p> + “I will do what you please, madam, but it seems to me that he loves you so + much you have no need to make excuses; and also, that, if I go, you will + have no woman here, and perhaps monseigneur may ask for me and I cannot be + found.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not trouble about that,” said the lady. “I will manage that all right + if he should ask for you. But it vexes me that my friend should be alone—go + and see what he is doing, I beg.” + </p> + <p> + “I will go, since you wish it,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + That she was pleased with her errand need not be said, though to conceal + her willingness she had made excuses to her mistress. She soon came to the + knight, who was still waiting, and said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur, madame has sent me to you again to make her excuses for + keeping you so long waiting, and to tell you how vexed she is.” + </p> + <p> + “You may tell her,” said he, “that she may come at her leisure, and not to + hurry on my account, for you can take her place.” + </p> + <p> + With that he kissed and cuddled her, and did not suffer her to depart till + he had tumbled her twice, which was not much trouble to him, for he was + young and vigorous, and fond of that sport. + </p> + <p> + The damsel bore it all patiently, and would have been glad to often have + the same luck, if she could without prejudice to her mistress. + </p> + <p> + When she was about to leave, she begged the knight to say nothing to her + mistress. + </p> + <p> + “Have no fear,” said he. + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you to be silent,” she said. + </p> + <p> + Then she returned to her mistress, who asked what her friend was doing? + </p> + <p> + “He is still,” the damsel replied, “awaiting you.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said the lady, “is he not vexed and angry?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” said the damsel, “since he had company. He is much obliged to you + for having sent me, and if he often had to wait would like to have me to + talk to him to pass the time,—and, faith! I should like nothing + better, for he is the pleasantest man I ever talked to. God knows that it + was good to hear him curse the folks who detained you—all except + monseigneur; he would say nothing against him.” + </p> + <p> + “St. John! I wish that he and all his company were in the river, so that I + could get away.” + </p> + <p> + In due time monseigneur—thank God—sent away his servants, + retired to his chamber, undressed, and went to bed. Madame, dressed only + in a petticoat, put on her night-dress, took her prayer-book, and began,—devoutly + enough God knows—to say her psalms and paternosters, but + monseigneur, who was as wide awake as a rat, was anxious for a little + conversation, and wished madame to put off saying her prayers till the + morrow, and talk to him. + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me,” she replied, “but I cannot talk to you now—God comes + first you know. Nothing would go right in the house all the week if I did + not give God what little praise I can, and I should expect bad luck if I + did not say my prayers now.” + </p> + <p> + “You sicken me with all this bigotry,” said monseigneur. “What is the use + of saying all these prayers? Come on, come on! and leave that business to + the priests. Am I not right, Jehannette?” he added, addressing the damsel + before mentioned. + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur,” she replied, “I do not know what to say, except that as + madame is accustomed to serve God, let her do so.” + </p> + <p> + “There, there!” said madame to her husband, “I see well that you want to + argue, and I wish to finish my prayers, so we shall not agree. I will + leave Jehannette to talk to you, and will go to my little chamber behind + to petition God.” + </p> + <p> + Monseigneur was satisfied, and madame went off at full gallop to her + friend, the knight, who received her with God knows how great joy, and the + honour that he did her was to bend her knees and lay her down. + </p> + <p> + But you must know that whilst madame was saying her prayers with her + lover, it happened, I know not how, that her husband begged Jehannette, + who was keeping him company, to grant him her favours. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, by his promises and fine words she was induced to + obey him, but the worst of it was that madame, when she returned from + seeing her lover, who had tumbled her twice before she left, found her + husband and Jehannette, her waiting-woman, engaged in the very same work + which she had been performing, at which she was much astonished; and still + more so were her husband and Jehannette at being thus surprised. + </p> + <p> + When madame saw that, God knows how she saluted them, though she would + have done better to hold her tongue; and she vented her rage so on poor + Jehannette that it seemed as though she must have a devil in her belly, or + she could not have used such abominable words. + </p> + <p> + Indeed she did more and worse, for she picked up a big stick and laid it + across the girl’s shoulders, on seeing which, monseigneur, who was already + vexed and angry, jumped up and so beat his wife that she could not rise. + </p> + <p> + Having then nothing but her tongue, she used it freely God knows, but + addressed most of her venomous speeches to poor Jehannette, who no longer + able to bear them, told monseigneur of the goings-on of his wife, and + where she had been to say her prayers, and with whom. + </p> + <p> + The whole company was troubled—monseigneur because he had good cause + to suspect his wife, and madame, who was wild with rage, well beaten, and + accused by her waiting-woman. + </p> + <p> + How this unfortunate household lived after that, those who know can tell. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0040" id="linklink2H_4_0040"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="40pg (132K)" src="images/40pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTIETH — THE BUTCHER’S WIFE WHO PLAYED THE GHOST IN THE + CHIMNEY. + </h2> + <h3> + By Michault De Changy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a Jacobin who left his mistress, a butcher’s wife, for another + woman who was younger and prettier, and how the said butcher’s wife + tried to enter his house by the chimney.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It happened formerly at Lille, that a famous clerk and preacher of the + order of St. Dominic, converted, by his holy and eloquent preaching, the + wife of a butcher; in such wise that she loved him more than all the + world, and was never perfectly happy when he was not with her. + </p> + <p> + But in the end Master Monk tired of her, and wished that she would not + visit him so often, at which she was as vexed as she could be, but the + rebuff only made her love him the more. + </p> + <p> + The monk, seeing that, forbade her to come to his chamber, and charged his + clerk not to admit her, whatever she might say; at which she was more + vexed and infuriated than ever, and small marvel. + </p> + <p> + If you ask me why the monk did this, I should reply that it was not from + devotion, or a desire to lead a chaste life, but that he had made the + acquaintance of another woman, who was prettier, much younger, and richer, + and with whom he was on such terms that she had a key to his chamber. + </p> + <p> + Thus it was that the butcher’s wife never came to him, as she had been + accustomed, so that his new mistress could in all leisure and security + come and gain her pardons and pay her tithe, like the women of Ostelleria, + of whom mention has been made. + </p> + <p> + One day, after dinner, there was a great feast held in the chamber of + Master Monk, and his mistress had promised to come and bring her share + both of wine and meat. And as some of the other brothers in that monastery + were of the same kidney, he secretly invited two or three of them; and God + knows they had good cheer at this dinner, which did not finish without + plenty of drink. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the butcher’s wife was acquainted with many of the + servants of these preachers, and she saw them pass her house, some bearing + wine, some pasties, some tarts, and so many other things that it was + wonderful. + </p> + <p> + She could not refrain from asking what feast was going forward at their + house? And the answer was that all this dainties were for such an one,—that + is to say her monk—who had some great people to dinner. + </p> + <p> + “And who are they?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “Faith! I know not,” he said. “I only carry my wine to the door, and there + our master takes it from us. I know not who is there!” + </p> + <p> + “I see,” she said, “that it is a secret. Well, well! go on and do your + duty.” + </p> + <p> + Soon there passed another servant, of whom she asked the same questions, + and he replied as his fellow had done, but rather more, for he said, + </p> + <p> + “I believe there is a damsel there;—but she wishes her presence to + be neither seen nor known.” + </p> + <p> + She guessed who it was, and was in a great rage, and said to herself that + she would keep an eye upon the woman who had robbed her of the love of her + friend, and, no doubt, if she had met her she would have read her a pretty + lesson, and scratched her face. + </p> + <p> + She set forth with the intention of executing the plan she had conceived. + When she arrived at the place, she waited long to meet the person she most + hated in the world, but she had not the patience to wait till her rival + came out of the chamber where the feast was being held, so at last she + determined to use a ladder that a tiler, who was at work at the roof, had + left there whilst he went to dinner. + </p> + <p> + She placed this ladder against the kitchen chimney of the house, with the + intention of dropping in and saluting the company, for she knew well that + she could not enter in any other way. + </p> + <p> + The ladder being placed exactly as she wished it, she ascended it to the + chimney, round which she tied a fairly thick cord that by chance she found + there. Having tied that firmly, as she believed, she entered the said + chimney and began to descend; but the worst of it was that she stuck there + without being able to go up or down, however much she tried—and this + was owing to her backside being so big and heavy, and to the fact that the + cord broke, so that she could not climb back. She was in sore distress, + God knows, and did not know what to say or do. She reflected that it would + be better to await the arrival of the tiler, and make an appeal to him + when he came to look for his ladder and his rope; but this hope was taken + from her, for the tiler did not come to work until the next morning, on + account of the heavy rain, of which she had her share, for she was quite + drenched. + </p> + <p> + When the evening grew late, the poor woman heard persons talking in the + kitchen, whereupon she began to shout, at which they were much astonished + and frightened, for they knew not who was calling them, or whence the + voice came. Nevertheless, astonished as they were, they listened a little + while, and heard the voice now in front and now behind, shrieking shrilly. + They believed it was a spirit, and went to tell their master, who was in + the dormitory, and was not brave enough to come and see what it was, but + put it off till the morning. + </p> + <p> + You may guess what long hours the poor woman spent, being all night in the + chimney. And, by bad luck, it rained heavily for a long time. + </p> + <p> + The next day, early in the morning, the tiler came to work, to make up for + the time the rain had made him lose on the previous day. He was quite + astonished to find his ladder in another place than where he left it, and + the rope tied round the chimney, and did not know who had done it. He + determined to fetch the rope, and mounted the ladder and came to the + chimney, and undid the cord, and put his head down the chimney, where he + saw the butcher’s wife, looking more wretched than a drowned cat, at which + he was much astonished. + </p> + <p> + “What are you doing here, dame?” he asked. “Do you want to rob the poor + monks who live here?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, friend,” she replied, “by my oath I do not. I beg of you to help me + to get out, and I will give you whatever you ask.” + </p> + <p> + “I will do nothing of the kind,” he said, “if I do not know who you are + and whence you come.” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you if you like,” she said, “but I beg of you not to repeat + it.” + </p> + <p> + Then she told him all about her love affair with the monk, and why she had + come there. The tiler took pity on her, and with some trouble, and by + means of his rope, pulled her out, and brought her down to the ground. And + she promised him that if he held his tongue she would give him beef and + mutton enough to supply him and his family all the year, which she did. + And the other kept the matter so secret that everybody heard of it. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0027" id="linklinkimage-0027"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/41.jpg" width="100%" alt="41.jpg" title=" Love in Arms. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0041" id="linklink2H_4_0041"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="41pg (136K)" src="images/41pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FIRST — LOVE IN ARMS. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight who made his wife wear a hauberk whenever he would do you + know what; and of a clerk who taught her another method which she almost + told her husband, but turned it off suddenly.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble knight of Haynau, who was wise, cunning, and a great traveller, + found such pleasure in matrimony, that after the death of his good and + prudent wife, he could not exist long unmarried, and espoused a beautiful + damsel of good condition, who was not one of the cleverest people in the + world, for, to tell the truth, she was rather dull-witted, which much + pleased her husband, because he thought he could more easily bend her to + his will. + </p> + <p> + He devoted all his time and study to training her to obey him, and + succeeded as well as he could possibly have wished. And, amongst other + matters, whenever he would indulge in the battle of love with her—which + was not as often as she would have wished—he made her put on a + splendid hauberk, at which she was at first much astonished, and asked why + she was armed, and he replied that she could not withstand his amorous + assaults if she were not armed. So she was content to wear the hauberk; + and her only regret was that her husband was not more fond of making these + assaults, for they were more trouble than pleasure to him. + </p> + <p> + If you should ask why her lord made her wear this singular costume, I + should reply that he hoped that the pain and inconvenience of the hauberk + would prevent his wife from being too fond of these amorous assaults; but, + wise as he was, he made a great mistake, for if in each love-battle the + hauberk had broken her back and bruised her belly, she would not have + refused to put it on, so sweet and pleasant did she find that which + followed. + </p> + <p> + They thus lived together for a long time, till her husband was ordered to + serve his prince in the war, in another sort of battle to that + above-mentioned, so he took leave of his wife and went where he was + ordered, and she remained at home in the charge of an old gentleman, and + of certain damsels who served her. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that there was in the house a good fellow, a clerk, who + was treasurer of the household, and who sang and played the harp well. + After dinner he would often play, which gave madame great pleasure, and + she would often come to him when she heard the sound of his harp. + </p> + <p> + She came so often that the clerk at last made love to her, and she, being + desirous to put on her hauberk again, listened to his petition, and + replied; + </p> + <p> + “Come to me at a certain time, in such a chamber, and I will give you a + reply that will please you.” + </p> + <p> + She was greatly thanked, and at the hour named, the clerk did not fail to + rap at the door of the chamber the lady had indicated, where she was + quietly awaiting him with her fine hauberk on her back. + </p> + <p> + She opened the door, and the clerk saw her armed, and thinking that some + one was concealed there to do him a mischief, was so scared that, in his + fright, he tumbled down backwards I know not how many stairs, and might + have broken his neck, but luckily he was not hurt, for, being in a good + cause, God protected him. + </p> + <p> + Madame, who saw his danger, was much vexed and displeased; she ran down + and helped him to rise, and asked why he was in such fear? He told her + that truly he thought he had fallen into an ambush. + </p> + <p> + “You have nothing to fear,” she said, “I am not armed with the intention + of doing you any hurt,” and so saying they mounted the stairs together, + and entered the chamber. + </p> + <p> + “Madame,” said the clerk, “I beg of you to tell me, if you please, why you + have put on this hauberk?” + </p> + <p> + She blushed and replied, “You know very well.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, madame, begging your pardon,” said he, “if I had known I + should not have asked.” + </p> + <p> + “My husband,” she replied, “whenever he would kiss me, and talk of love, + makes me dress in this way; and as I know that you have come here for that + purpose, I prepared myself accordingly.” + </p> + <p> + “Madame,” he said, “you are right, and I remember now that it is the + manner of knights to arm their ladies in this way. But clerks have another + method, which, in my opinion is much nicer and more comfortable.” + </p> + <p> + “Please tell me what that is,” said the lady. + </p> + <p> + “I will show you,” he replied. Then he took off the hauberk, and the rest + of her apparel down to her chemise, and he also undressed himself, and + they got into the fair bed that was there, and—both being disarmed + even of their chemises—passed two or three hours very pleasantly. + And before leaving, the clerk showed her the method used by clerks, which + she greatly praised, as being much better than that of knights. They often + met afterwards, also in the same way, without its becoming known, although + the lady was not over-cunning. + </p> + <p> + After a certain time, her husband returned from the war, at which she was + not inwardly pleased, though outwardly she tried to pretend to be. His + coming was known, and God knows how great a dinner was prepared. Dinner + passed, and grace being said, the knight—to show he was a good + fellow, and a loving husband—said to her, + </p> + <p> + “Go quickly to our chamber, and put on your hauberk.” She, remembering the + pleasant time she had had with her clerk, replied quickly, + </p> + <p> + “Ah, monsieur, the clerks’ way is the best.” + </p> + <p> + “The clerks’ way!” he cried. “And how do you know their way?” and he began + to fret and to change colour, and suspect something; but he never knew the + truth, for his suspicions were quickly dissipated. + </p> + <p> + Madame was not such a fool but what she could see plainly that her husband + was not pleased at what she had said, and quickly bethought herself of a + way of getting out of the difficulty. + </p> + <p> + “I said that the clerks’ way is the best; and I say it again.” + </p> + <p> + “And what is that?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “They drink after grace.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, by St. John, you speak truly!” he cried. “Verily it is their + custom, and it is not a bad one; and since you so much care for it, we + will keep it in future.” + </p> + <p> + So wine was brought and they drank it, and then Madame went to put on her + hauberk, which she would willingly have done without, for the gentle clerk + had showed her another way which pleased her better. + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, was Monsieur deceived by his wife’s ready reply. + No doubt her wits had been sharpened by her intercourse with the clerk, + and after that he showed her plenty of other tricks, and in the end he and + her husband became great friends. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0042" id="linklink2H_4_0042"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="42pg (124K)" src="images/42pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SECOND — THE MARRIED PRIEST. <a + href="#linklinknote-42" name="linklinknoteref-42" id="linklinknoteref-42">42</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Meriadech. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a village clerk who being at Rome and believing that his wife was + dead became a priest, and was appointed curé of his own town, and when + he returned, the first person he met was his wife.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the year ‘50 (*) just passed, the clerk of a village in the diocese of + Noyon, that he might gain the pardons, which as every one knows were then + given at Rome (**), set out in company with many respectable people of + Noyon, Compeigne, and the neighbouring places. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) 1450 + + (**) Special indulgences were granted that year on account + of the Jubilee +</pre> + <p> + But, before leaving, he carefully saw to his private affairs, arranged for + the support of his wife and family, and entrusted the office of sacristan, + which he held, to a young and worthy clerk to hold until his return. + </p> + <p> + In a fairly brief space of time, he and his companions arrived at Rome, + and performed their devotions and their pilgrimage as well as they knew + how. But you must know that our clerk met, by chance, at Rome, one of his + old school-fellows, who was in the service of a great Cardinal, and + occupied a high position, and who was very glad to meet his old friend, + and asked him how he was. And the other told him everything—first of + all that he was, alas! married, how many children he had, and how that he + was a parish clerk. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said his friend, “by my oath! I am much grieved that you are + married.” + </p> + <p> + “Why?” asked the other. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you,” said he; “such and such a Cardinal has charged me to + find him a secretary, a native of our province. This would have suited + you, and you would have been largely remunerated, were it not that your + marriage will cause you to return home, and, I fear, lose many benefits + that you cannot now get.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said the clerk, “my marriage is no great consequence, for—to + tell you the truth—the pardon was but an excuse for getting out of + the country, and was not the principal object of my journey; for I had + determined to enjoy myself for two or three years in travelling about, and + if, during that time, God should take my wife, I should only be too happy. + So I beg and pray of you to think of me and to speak well for me to this + Cardinal, that I may serve him; and, by my oath, I will so bear myself + that you shall have no fault to find with me; and, moreover, you will do + me the greatest service that ever one friend did another.” + </p> + <p> + “Since that is your wish,” said his friend, “I will oblige you at once, + and will lodge you too if you wish.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, friend,” said the other. + </p> + <p> + To cut matters short, our clerk lodged with the Cardinal, and wrote and + told his wife of his new position, and that he did not intend to return + home as soon as he had intended when he left. She consoled herself, and + wrote back that she would do the best she could. + </p> + <p> + Our worthy clerk conducted himself so well in the service of the Cardinal, + and gained such esteem, that his master had no small regret that his + secretary was incapable of holding a living, for which he was exceedingly + well fitted. + </p> + <p> + Whilst our clerk was thus in favour, the curé of his village died, and + thus left the living vacant during one of the Pope’s months. (*) The + Sacristan who held the place of his friend who had gone to Rome, + determined that he would hurry to Rome as quickly as he could, and do all + in his power to get the living for himself. He lost no time, and in a few + days, after much trouble and fatigue, found himself at Rome, and rested + not till he had discovered his friend—the clerk who served the + Cardinal. + </p> + <p> + After mutual salutations, the clerk asked after his wife, and the other, + expecting to give him much pleasure and further his own interests in the + request he was about to make, replied that she was dead—in which he + lied, for I know that at this present moment (**) she can still worry her + husband. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) During eight months of the year, the Pope had the right + of bestowing all livings which became vacant. + + (**) That is when the story was written. +</pre> + <p> + “Do you say that my wife is dead?” cried the clerk. “May God pardon her + all her sins.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly,” replied the other; “the plague carried her off last year, + along with many others.” + </p> + <p> + He told this lie, which cost him dear, because he knew that the clerk had + only left home on account of his wife, who was of a quarrelsome + disposition, and he thought the most pleasant news he could bring was to + announce her death, and truly so it would have been, but the news was + false. + </p> + <p> + “And what brings you to this country?” asked the clerk after many and + various questions. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, my friend and companion. The curé of our town is dead; + so I came to you to ask if by any means I could obtain the benefice. I + would beg of you to help me in this matter. I know that it is in your + power to procure me the living, with the help of monseigneur, your + master.” + </p> + <p> + The clerk, thinking that his wife was dead, and the cure of his native + town vacant, thought to himself that he would snap up this living, and + others too if he could get them. But, all the same, he said nothing to his + friend, except that it would not be his fault if the other were not curé + of their town,—for which he was much thanked. + </p> + <p> + It happened quite otherwise, for, on the morrow, our Holy Father, at the + request of the Cardinal, the master of our clerk, gave the latter the + living. + </p> + <p> + Thereupon this clerk, when he heard the news, came to his companion, and + said to him, + </p> + <p> + “Ah, friend, by my oath, your hopes are dissipated, at which I am much + vexed.” + </p> + <p> + “How so?” asked the other. + </p> + <p> + “The cure of our town is given,” he said, “but I know not to whom. + Monseigneur, my master, tried to help you, but it was not in his power to + accomplish it.” + </p> + <p> + At which the other was vexed, after he had come so far and expended so + much. So he sorrowfully took leave of his friend, and returned to his own + country, without boasting about the lie he had told. + </p> + <p> + But let us return to our clerk, who was as merry as a grig at the news of + the death of his wife, and to whom the benefice of his native town had + been given, at the request of his master, by the Holy Father, as a reward + for his services. And let us record how he became a priest at Rome, and + chanted his first holy Mass, and took leave of his master for a time, in + order to return and take possession of his living. + </p> + <p> + When he entered the town, by ill luck the first person that he chanced to + meet was his wife, at which he was much astonished I can assure you, and + still more vexed. + </p> + <p> + “What is the meaning of this, my dear?” he asked. “They told me you were + dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing of the kind,” she said. “You say so, I suppose, because you wish + it, as you have well proved, for you have left me for five years, with a + number of young children to take care of.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear,” he said, “I am very glad to see you in good health, and I + praise God for it with all my heart. Cursed be he who brought me false + news.” + </p> + <p> + “Amen!” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “But I must tell you, my dear, that I cannot stay now; I am obliged to go + in haste to the Bishop of Noyon, on a matter which concerns him; but I + will return to you as quickly as I can.” + </p> + <p> + He left his wife, and took his way to Noyon; but God knows that all along + the road he thought of his strange position. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” he said, “I am undone and dishonoured. A priest! a clerk! and + married! I suppose I am the first miserable wretch to whom that ever + occurred!” + </p> + <p> + He went to the Bishop of Noyon, who was much surprised at hearing his + case, and did not know what to advise him, so sent him back to Rome. + </p> + <p> + When he arrived there, he related his adventure at length to his master, + who was bitterly annoyed, and on the morrow repeated it to our Holy + Father, in the presence of the Sacred College and all the Cardinals. + </p> + <p> + So it was ordered that he should remain priest, and married, and curé + also; and that he should live with his wife as a married man, honourably + and without reproach, and that his children should be legitimate and not + bastards, although their father was a priest. Moreover, that if it was + found he lived apart from his wife, he should lose the living. + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, was this gallant punished for believing the false + news of his friend, and was obliged to go and live in his own parish, and, + which was worse, with his wife, with whose company he would have gladly + dispensed if the Church had not ordered it otherwise. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0028" id="linklinkimage-0028"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/43.jpg" width="100%" alt="43.jpg" + title="A Bargain in Horns. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0043" id="linklink2H_4_0043"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="43pg (131K)" src="images/43pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-THIRD — A BARGAIN IN HORNS. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Fiennes. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a labourer who found a man with his wife, and forwent his revenge + for a certain quantity of wheat, but his wife insisted that he should + complete the work he had begun.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + There lived formerly, in the district of Lille, a worthy man who was a + labourer and tradesman, and who managed, by the good offices of himself + and his friends, to obtain for a wife a very pretty young girl, but who + was not rich, neither was her husband, but he was very covetous, and + diligent in business, and loved to gain money. + </p> + <p> + And she, for her part, attended to the household as her husband desired; + who therefore had a good opinion of her, and often went about his business + without any suspicion that she was other than good. + </p> + <p> + But whilst the poor man thus came and went, and left his wife alone, a + good fellow came to her, and, to cut the story short, was in a short time + the deputy for the trusting husband, who still believed that he had the + best wife in the world, and the one who most thought about the increase of + his honour and his worldly wealth. + </p> + <p> + It was not so, for she gave him not the love she owed him, and cared not + whether he had profit or loss by her. The good merchant aforesaid, being + out as usual, his wife soon informed her friend, who did not fail to come + as he was desired, at once. And not to lose his time, he approached his + mistress, and made divers amorous proposals to her, and in short the + desired pleasure was not refused him any more than on the former + occasions, which had not been few. + </p> + <p> + By bad luck, whilst the couple were thus engaged, the husband arrived, and + found them at work, and was much astonished, for he did not know that his + wife was a woman of that sort. + </p> + <p> + “What is this?” he said. “By God’s death, scoundrel, I will kill you on + the spot.” + </p> + <p> + The other, who had been caught in the act, and was much scared, knew not + what to say, but as he was aware that the husband was miserly and + covetous, he said quickly: + </p> + <p> + “Ah, John, my friend, I beg your mercy; pardon me if I have done you any + wrong, and on my word I will give you six bushels of wheat.” + </p> + <p> + “By God!” said he, “I will do nothing of the kind. You shall die by my + hands and I will have your life if I do not have twelve bushels.” + </p> + <p> + The good wife, who heard this dispute, in order to restore peace, came + forward, and said to her husband. + </p> + <p> + “John, dear, let him finish what he has begun, I beg, and you shall have + eight bushels. Shall he not?” she added, turning to her lover. + </p> + <p> + “I am satisfied,” he said, “though on my oath it is too much, seeing how + dear corn is.” + </p> + <p> + “It is too much?” said the good man. “Morbleu! I much regret that I did + not say more, for you would have to pay a much heavier fine if you were + brought to justice: however, make up your mind that I will have twelve + bushels, or you shall die.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, John,” said his wife, “you are wrong to contradict me. It seems to + me that you ought to be satisfied with eight bushels, for you know that is + a large quantity of wheat.” + </p> + <p> + “Say no more,” he replied, “I will have twelve bushels, or I will kill him + and you too.” + </p> + <p> + “The devil,” quoth the lover; “you drive a bargain; but at least, if I + must pay you, let me have time.” + </p> + <p> + “That I agree to, but I will have my twelve bushels.” + </p> + <p> + The dispute ended thus, and it was agreed that he was to pay in two + instalments,—six bushels on the morrow, and the others on St. Remy’s + day, then near. + </p> + <p> + All this was arranged by the wife, who then said to her husband. + </p> + <p> + “You are satisfied, are you not, to receive your wheat in the manner I + have said?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” he replied. + </p> + <p> + “Then go,” she said, “whilst he finishes the work he had begun when you + interrupted him; otherwise the contract will not be binding.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! is it so?” said the lover. + </p> + <p> + “I always keep my word,” said the good merchant. “By God, no man shall say + I am a cheat or a liar. You will finish the job you have begun, and I am + to have my twelve bushels of wheat on the terms agreed. That was our + contract—was it not?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly,” said his wife. + </p> + <p> + “Good bye, then,” said the husband, “but at any rate be sure that I have + six bushels of wheat to-morrow.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +“Don’t be afraid,” said the other. “I will keep my word.” So the good +man left the house, quite joyful that he was to have twelve bushels of +wheat, and his wife and her lover recommenced more heartily than ever. I +have heard that the wheat was duly delivered on the dates agreed. + + +</pre> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0029" id="linklinkimage-0029"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/44.jpg" width="100%" alt="44.jpg" + title="The Match-making Priest. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0044" id="linklink2H_4_0044"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="44pg (139K)" src="images/44pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FOURTH — THE MATCH-MAKING PRIEST. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a village priest who found a husband for a girl with whom he was + in love, and who had promised him that when she was married she would do + whatever he wished, of which he reminded her on the wedding-day, and the + husband heard it, and took steps accordingly, as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the present day they are many priests and curés who are good fellows, + and who can as easily commit follies and imprudences as laymen can. + </p> + <p> + In a pretty village of Picardy, there lived formerly a curé of a lecherous + disposition. Amongst the other pretty girls and women of his parish, he + cast eyes on a young and very pretty damsel of nubile age, and was bold + enough to tell her what he wanted. + </p> + <p> + Won over by his fair words, and the hundred thousand empty promises he + made, she was almost ready to listen to his requests, which would have + been a great pity, for she was a nice and pretty girl with pleasant + manners, and had but one fault,—which was that she was not the most + quick-witted person in the world. + </p> + <p> + I do not know why it occurred to her to answer him in that manner, but one + day she told the curé, when he was making hot love to her, that she was + not inclined to do what he required until she was married, for if by + chance, as happened every day, she had a baby, she would always be + dishonoured and reproached by her father, mother, brothers, and all her + family, which she could not bear, nor had she strength to sustain the + grief and worry which such a misfortune would entail. + </p> + <p> + “Nevertheless, if some day I am married, speak to me again, and I will do + what I can for you, but not otherwise; so give heed to what I say and + believe me once for all.” + </p> + <p> + The cure was not over-pleased at this definite reply, bold and sensible as + it was, but he was so amorous that he would not abandon all hope, and said + to the girl; + </p> + <p> + “Are you so firmly decided, my dear, not to do anything for me until you + are married?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, I am,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “And if you are married, and I am the means and the cause, you will + remember it afterwards, and honestly and loyally perform what you have + promised?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, yes,” she said, “I promise you.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” he said, “make your mind easy, for I promise you faithfully + that if you are not married soon it will not be for want of efforts or + expense on my part, for I am sure that you cannot desire it more than I + do; and in order to prove that I am devoted to you soul and body, you will + see how I will manage this business.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, monsieur le curé,” she said, “we shall see what you will do.” + </p> + <p> + With that she took leave of him, and the good curé, who was madly in love + with her, was not satisfied till he had seen her father. He talked over + various matters with him, and at last the worthy priest spoke to the old + man about his daughter, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Neighbour, I am much astonished, as also are many of your neighbours and + friends, that you do not let your daughter marry. Why do you keep her at + home when you know how dangerous it is? Not that—God forbid—I + say, or wish to say, that she is not virtuous, but every day we see girls + go wrong because they do not marry at the proper age. Forgive me for so + openly stating my opinion, but the respect I have for you, and the duty I + owe you as your unworthy pastor, require and compel me to tell you this.” + </p> + <p> + “By the Lord, monsieur le curé,” said the good man, “I know that your + words are quite true, and I thank you for them, and do not think that I + have kept her so long at home from any selfish motive, for if her welfare + is concerned I will do all I can for her, as I ought. You would not wish, + nor is it usual, that I should buy a husband for her, but if any + respectable young man should come along, I will do everything that a good + father should.” + </p> + <p> + “Well said,” replied the curé, “and on my word, you could not do better + than marry her off quickly. It is a great thing to be able to see your + grandchildren round you before you become too old. What do you say to + so-and-so, the son of your neighbour?—He seems to me a good, + hard-working man, who would make a good husband.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said the old man, “I have nothing but good to say about + him. For my own part, I know him to be a good young man and a good worker. + His father and mother, and all his relatives, are respectable people, and + if they do me the honour to ask my daughter’s hand in marriage for him, I + shall reply in a manner that will satisfy them.” + </p> + <p> + “You could not say more,” replied the curé, “and, if it please God, the + matter shall be arranged as I wish, and as I know for a fact that this + marriage would be to the benefit of both parties, I will do my best to + farther it, and with this I will now say farewell to you.” + </p> + <p> + If the curé had played his part well with the girl’s father, he was quite + as clever in regard to the father of the young man. He began with a + preamble to the effect that his son was of an age to marry, and ought to + settle down, and brought a hundred thousand reasons to show that the world + would be lost if his son were not soon married. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur le curé,” replied also the second old man, “there is much truth + in what you say, and if I were now as well off as I was, I know not how + many years ago, he would not still be unmarried; for there is nothing in + the world I desire more than to see him settled, but want of money has + prevented it, and so he must have patience until the Lord sends us more + wealth than we have at present.” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” said the curé, “if I understand you aright, it is only money that + is wanting.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith! that is so,” said the old man. “If I had now as much as I had + formerly, I should soon seek a wife for him.” + </p> + <p> + “I have concerned myself,” said the curé, “because I desire the welfare + and prosperity of your son, and find that the daughter of such an one + (that is to say his ladylove) would exactly suit him. She is pretty and + virtuous, and her father is well off, and, as I know, would give some + assistance, and—which is no small matter—is a wise man of good + counsel, and a friend to whom you and your son could have recourse. What + do you say?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly,” said the good man, “if it please God that my son should be + fortunate enough to be allied to such a good family; and if I thought that + he could anyhow succeed in that, I would get together what money I could, + and would go round to all my friends, for I am sure that he could never + find anyone more suitable.” + </p> + <p> + “I have not chosen badly then,” said the curé. “And what would you say if + I spoke about this matter to her father, and conducted it to its desired + end, and, moreover, lent you twenty francs for a certain period that we + could arrange?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, monsieur le curé,” said the good man, “you offer me more than + I deserve. If you did this, you would render a great service to me and + mine.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” answered the curé, “I have not said anything that I do not mean + to perform; so be of good cheer, for I hope to see this matter at an end.” + </p> + <p> + To shorten matters, the curé, hoping to have the woman when once she was + married, arranged the matter so well that, with the twenty francs he lent, + the marriage was settled, and the wedding day arrived. + </p> + <p> + Now it is the custom that the bride and bridegroom confess on that day. + The bridegroom came first, and when he had finished, he withdrew to a + little distance saying his orisons and his paternosters. Then came the + bride, who knelt down before the curé and confessed. When she had said all + she had to say, he spoke to her in turn, and so loudly, that the + bridegroom, who was not far off, heard every word, and said, + </p> + <p> + “My dear, I beg you to remember now the promise you formerly made me. You + promised me that when you were married that I should ride you; and now you + are married, thank God, by my means and endeavours, and through the money + that I have lent.” + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur le curé,” she said, “have no fear but what I will keep the + promise I have made, if God so please.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” he replied, and then gave her absolution after this devout + confession, and suffered her to depart. + </p> + <p> + The bridegroom, who had heard these words, was not best pleased, but + nevertheless thought it not the right moment to show his vexation. + </p> + <p> + After all the ceremonies at the church were over, the couple returned + home, and bed-time drew near. The bridegroom whispered to a friend of his + whom he dearly loved, to fetch a big handful of birch rods, and hide them + secretly under the bed, and this the other did. + </p> + <p> + When the time came, the bride went to bed, as is the custom, and kept to + the edge of the bed, and said not a word. The bridegroom came soon after, + and lay on the other edge of the bed without approaching her, or saying a + word and in the morning he rose without doing anything else, and hid his + rods again under the bed. + </p> + <p> + When he had left the room, there came several worthy matrons who found the + bride in bed, and asked her how the night had passed, and what she thought + of her husband? + </p> + <p> + “Faith!” she said, “there was his place over there”—pointing to the + edge of the bed—“and here was mine. He never came near me, and I + never went near him.” + </p> + <p> + They were all much astonished, and did not know what to think, but at last + they agreed that if he had not touched her, it was from some religious + motive, and they thought no more of it for that once. + </p> + <p> + The second night came, and the bride lay down in the place she had + occupied the previous night, and the bridegroom, still furnished with his + rods, did the same and nothing more; and this went on for two more nights, + at which the bride was much displeased, and did not fail to tell the + matrons the next day, who knew not what to think. + </p> + <p> + “It is to be feared he is not a man, for he has continued four nights in + that manner. He must be told what he has to do; so if to-night he does not + begin,”—they said to the bride—“draw close to him and cuddle + and kiss him, and ask him if married people do not do something else + besides? And if he should ask you what you want him to do? tell him that + you want him to ride you, and you will hear what he will say.” + </p> + <p> + “I will do so,” she said. + </p> + <p> + She failed not, for that night she lay in her usual place, and her husband + took up his old quarters, and made no further advances than he had on the + previous nights. So she turned towards him, and throwing her arms round + him, said; + </p> + <p> + “Come here husband! Is this the pleasant time I was to expect? This is the + fifth night I have slept with you, and you have not deigned to come near + me! On my word I should never have wished to be married if I had not + thought married people did something else.” + </p> + <p> + “And what did they tell you married people did?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “They say,” she replied, “that the one rides the other. I want you to ride + me.” + </p> + <p> + “Ride!” he said. “I would not like to do that.—I would not be so + unkind.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I beg of you to do it—for that is what married people do.” + </p> + <p> + “You want me to do it?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you to do it,” she said, and so saying she kissed him tenderly. + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” he said, “I will do it, since you ask me to though much to + my regret, for I am sure that you will not like it.” + </p> + <p> + Without saying another word he took his stock of rods, and stripped his + wife, and thrashed her soundly, back and belly, legs and thighs, till she + was bathed in blood. She screamed, she cried, she struggled, and it was + piteous to see her, and she cursed the moment that she had ever asked to + be ridden. + </p> + <p> + “I told you so,” said her husband, and then took her in his arms and + “rode” her so nicely that she forgot the pain of the beating. + </p> + <p> + “What do you call that you have just done?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “It is called,” he said, “‘to blow up the backside’.” + </p> + <p> + “Blow up the backside!” she said. “The expression is not so pretty as ‘to + ride’, but the operation is much nicer, and, now that I have learned the + difference, I shall know what to ask for in future.” + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the curé was always on the look-out for when the + newly married bride should come to church, to remind her of her promise. + The first time she appeared, he sidled up to the font, and when she passed + him, he gave her holy water, and said in a low voice, + </p> + <p> + “My dear! you promised me that I should ride you when you were married! + You are married now, thank God, and it is time to think when and how you + will keep your word.” + </p> + <p> + “Ride?” she said. “By God, I would rather see you hanged or drowned! Don’t + talk to me about riding. But I will let you blow up my backside if you + like!” + </p> + <p> + “And catch your quartain fever!” said the curé, “beastly dirty, + ill-mannered whore that you are! Am I to be rewarded after all I have done + for you, by being permitted to blow up your backside!” + </p> + <p> + So the curé went off in a huff, and the bride took her seat that she might + hear the holy Mass, which the good curé was about to read. + </p> + <p> + And thus, in the manner which you have just heard, did the curé lose his + chance of enjoying the girl, by his own fault and no other’s, because he + spoke too loudly to her the day when he confessed her, for her husband + prevented him, in the way described above, by making his wife believe that + the act of ‘riding’ was called ‘to blow up the backside’. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0045" id="linklink2H_4_0045"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="45pg (129K)" src="images/45pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-FIFTH — THE SCOTSMAN TURNED WASHERWOMAN + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a young Scotsman who was disguised as a woman for the space of + fourteen years, and by that means slept with many girls and married + women, but was punished in the end, as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + None of the preceding stories have related any incidents which happened in + Italy, but only those which occurred in France, Germany, England, + Flanders, and Brabant,—therefore I will relate, as something new, an + incident which formerly happened in Rome, and was as follows. + </p> + <p> + At Rome was a Scotsman of the age of about 22, who for the space of + fourteen years had disguised himself as a woman, without it being publicly + known all that time that he was a man. He called himself Margaret, and + there was hardly a good house in Rome where he was not known, and he was + specially welcomed by all the women, such as waiting-women, and wenches of + the lower orders, and also many of the greatest ladies in Rome. + </p> + <p> + This worthy Scotsman carried on the trade of laundress, and had learned to + bleach sheets, and called himself the washerwoman, and under that pretence + frequented, as has been said, all the best houses in Rome, for there was + no woman who could bleach sheets as he did. + </p> + <p> + But you must know that he did much else beside, for when he found himself + with some pretty girl, he showed her that he was a man. Often, in order to + prepare the lye, he stopped one or two nights in the aforesaid houses, and + they made him sleep with the maid, or sometimes with the daughter; and + very often, if her husband were not there, the mistress would have his + company. And God knows that he had a good time, and, thanks to the way he + employed his body, was welcome everywhere, and many wenches and waiting + maids would fight as to who was to have him for a bedfellow. + </p> + <p> + The citizens of Rome heard such a good account of him from their wives, + that they willingly welcomed him to their houses, and if they went abroad, + were glad to have Margaret to keep house along with their wives, and, what + is more, made her sleep with them, so good and honest was she esteemed, as + has been already said. + </p> + <p> + For the space of fourteen years did Margaret continue this way of living, + but the mischief was at last brought to light by a young girl, who told + her father that she had slept with Margaret and been assaulted by her, and + that in reality she was a man. The father informed the officers of + justice, and it was found that she had all the members and implements that + men carry, and, in fact, was a man and not a woman. + </p> + <p> + So it was ordered that he should be put in a cart and led through all the + city of Rome, and at every street corner his genitals should be exposed. + </p> + <p> + This was done, and God knows how ashamed and vexed poor Margaret was. But + you must know that when the cart stopped at a certain corner, and all the + belongings of Margaret were being exhibited, a Roman said out loud; + </p> + <p> + “Look at that scoundrel! he has slept more than twenty nights with my + wife!” + </p> + <p> + Many others said the same, and many who did not say it knew it well, but, + for their honours sake, held their tongue. Thus, in the manner you have + heard, was the poor Scotsman punished for having pretended to be a woman, + and after that punishment was banished from Rome; at which the women were + much displeased, for never was there such a good laundress, and they were + very sorry that they had so unfortunately lost her. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0030" id="linklinkimage-0030"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/46.jpg" width="100%" alt="46.jpg" + title=" How the Nun Paid for The Pears. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0046" id="linklink2H_4_0046"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="46pg (139K)" src="images/46pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SIXTH — HOW THE NUN PAID FOR THE PEARS. <a + href="#linklinknote-46" name="linklinknoteref-46" id="linklinknoteref-46">46</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Thianges (*). + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a Jacobin and a nun, who went secretly to an orchard to enjoy + pleasant pastime under a pear-tree; in which tree was hidden one who + knew of the assignation, and who spoiled their sport for that time, as + you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The name of the author of this story is spelled in four + different ways in different editions of these tales—Viz, + Thieurges, Thienges, Thieuges and Thianges. +</pre> + <p> + It is no means unusual for monks to run after nuns. Thus it happened + formerly that a Jacobin so haunted, visited, and frequented a nunnery in + this kingdom, that his intention became known,—which was to sleep + with one of the ladies there. + </p> + <p> + And God knows how anxious and diligent he was to see her whom he loved + better than all the rest of the world, and continued to visit there so + often, that the Abbess and many of the nuns perceived how matters stood, + at which they were much displeased. Nevertheless, to avoid scandal, they + said not a word to the monk, but gave a good scolding to the nun, who made + many excuses, but the abbess, who was clear-sighted, knew by her replies + and excuses that she was guilty. + </p> + <p> + So, on account of that nun, the Abbess restrained the liberty of all, and + caused the doors of the cloisters and other places to be closed, so that + the poor Jacobin could by no means come to his mistress. That greatly + vexed him, and her also, I need not say, and you may guess that they + schemed day and night by what means they could meet; but could devise no + plan, such a strict watch did the Abbess keep on them. + </p> + <p> + It happened one day, that one of the nieces of the Abbess was married, and + a great feast was made in the convent. There was a great assemblage of + people from the country round, and the Abbess was very busy receiving the + great people who had come to do honour to her niece. + </p> + <p> + The worthy Jacobin thought that he might get a glimpse of his mistress, + and by chance be lucky enough to find an opportunity to speak to her. He + came therefore, and found what he sought; for, because of the number of + guests, the Abbess was prevented from keeping watch over the nun, and he + had an opportunity to tell his mistress his griefs, and how much he + regretted the good time that had passed; and she, who greatly loved him, + gladly listened to him, and would have willingly made him happy. Amongst + other speeches, he said; + </p> + <p> + “Alas! my dear, you know that it is long since we have had a quiet talk + together such as we like; I beg of you therefore, if it is possible, + whilst everyone is otherwise engaged than in watching us, to tell me where + we can have a few words apart.” + </p> + <p> + “So help me God, my friend,” she replied, “I desire it no less than you + do. But I do not know of any place where it can be done; for there are so + many people in the house, and I cannot enter my chamber, there are so many + strangers who have come to this wedding; but I will tell you what you can + do. You know the way to the great garden; do you not?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John! yes,” he said. + </p> + <p> + “In the corner of the garden,” she said, “there is a nice paddock enclosed + with high and thick hedges, and in the middle is a large pear-tree, which + makes the place cool and shady. Go there and wait for me, and as soon as I + can get away, I will hurry to you.” + </p> + <p> + The Jacobin greatly thanked her and went straight there. But you must know + there was a young gallant who had come to the feast, who was standing not + far from these lovers and had heard their conversation, and, as he knew + the paddock, he determined that he would go and hide there, and see their + love-making. + </p> + <p> + He slipped out of the crowd, and as fast as his feet could carry him, ran + to this paddock, and arrived there before the Jacobin; and when he came + there, he climbed into the great pear-tree—which had large branches, + and was covered with leaves and pears,—and hid himself so well that + he could not be easily seen. + </p> + <p> + He was hardly ensconced there when there came trotting along the worthy + Jacobin, looking behind him to see if his mistress was following; and God + knows that he was glad to find himself in that beautiful spot, and never + lifted his eyes to the pear-tree, for he never suspected that there was + anyone there, but kept his eyes on the road by which he had come. + </p> + <p> + He looked until he saw his mistress coming hastily, and she was soon with + him, and they rejoiced greatly, and the good Jacobin took off his gown and + his scapulary, and kissed and cuddled tightly the fair nun. + </p> + <p> + They wanted to do that for which they came thither, and prepared + themselves accordingly, and in so doing the nun said; + </p> + <p> + “Pardieu, Brother Aubrey, I would have you know that you are about to + enjoy one of the prettiest nuns in the Church. You can judge for yourself. + Look what breasts Î what a belly! what thighs! and all the rest.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said Brother Aubrey, “Sister Jehanne, my darling, you also + can say that you have for a lover one of the best-looking monks of our + Order, and as well furnished as any man in this kingdom,” and with these + words, taking in his hand the weapon with which he was about to fight, he + brandished it before his lady’s eyes, and cried, “What do you say? What do + you think of it? Is it not a handsome one? Is it not worthy of a pretty + girl?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly it is,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “And you shall have it.” + </p> + <p> + “And you shall have,” said he who was up in the pear-tree, “all the best + pears on the tree;” and with that he took and shook the branches with both + hands, and the pears rattled down on them and on the ground, at which + Brother Aubrey was so frightened that he hardly had the sense to pick up + his gown, but ran away as fast as he could without waiting, and did not + feel safe till he was well away from the spot. + </p> + <p> + The nun was as much, or more, frightened, but before she could set off, + the gallant had come down out of the tree, and taking her by the hand, + prevented her leaving, and said; “My dear, you must not go away thus: you + must first pay the fruiterer.” + </p> + <p> + She saw that a refusal would appear unseasonable, and was fain to let the + fruiterer complete the work which Brother Aubrey had left undone. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0047" id="linklink2H_4_0047"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="47pg (144K)" src="images/47pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-SEVENTH — TWO MULES DROWNED TOGETHER. <a + href="#linklinknote-47" name="linklinknoteref-47" id="linklinknoteref-47">47</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a President who knowing of the immoral conduct of his wife, caused + her to be drowned by her mule, which had been kept without drink for a + week, and given salt to eat—as is more clearly related hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In Provence there lived formerly a President of great and high renown, who + was a most learned clerk and prudent man, valiant in arms, discreet in + counsel, and, in short, had all the advantages which man could enjoy. (*) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Though not mentioned here by name, the principal + character in this story has been identified with Chaffrey + Carles, President of the Parliament of Grenoble. On the + front of a house in the Rue de Cleres, in Grenoble is carved + a coat of arms held by an angel who has her finger on her + lips. The arms are those of the Carles family and the figure + is supposed to refer to this story. At any rate the secret + was very badly kept, for the story seems to have been widely + known within a few years of its occurrence. +</pre> + <p> + One thing only was wanting to him, and that was the one that vexed him + most, and with good cause—and it was that he had a wife who was far + from good. The good lord saw and knew that his wife was unfaithful, and + inclined to play the whore, but the sense that God had given him, told him + that there was no remedy except to hold his tongue or die, for he had + often both seen and read that nothing would cure a woman of that + complaint. + </p> + <p> + But, at any rate, you may imagine that a man of courage and virtue, as he + was, was far from happy, and that his misfortune rankled in his sorrowing + heart. Yet as he outwardly appeared to know or see nothing of his wife’s + misconduct, one of his servants came to him one day when he was alone in + his chamber, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur, I want to inform you, as I ought, of something which + particularly touches your honour. I have watched your wife’s conduct, and + I can assure you that she does not keep the faith she promised, for a + certain person (whom he named) occupies your place very often.” + </p> + <p> + The good President, who knew as well or better than the servant who made + the report, how his wife behaved, replied angrily; + </p> + <p> + “Ha! scoundrel, I am sure that you lie in all you say! I know my wife too + well, and she is not what you say—no! Do you think I keep you to + utter lies about a wife who is good and faithful to me! I will have no + more of you; tell me what I owe you and then go, and never enter my sight + again if you value your life!” + </p> + <p> + The poor servant, who thought he was doing his master a great service, + said how much was due to him, received his money and went, but the + President, seeing that the unfaithfulness became more and more evident, + was as vexed and troubled as he could be. He could not devise any plan by + which he could honestly get rid of her, but it happened that God willed, + or fortune permitted that his wife was going to a wedding shortly, and he + thought it might be made to turn out lucky for him. + </p> + <p> + He went to the servant who had charge of the horses, and a fine mule that + he had, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Take care that you give nothing to drink to my mule either night or day, + until I give you further orders, and whenever you give it its hay, mix a + good handful of salt with it—but do not say a word about it.” + </p> + <p> + “I will say nothing,” said the servant, “and I will do whatever you + command me.” + </p> + <p> + When the wedding day of the cousin of the President’s wife drew near, she + said to her husband, + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur, if it be your pleasure, I would willingly attend the wedding of + my cousin, which will take place next Sunday, at such a place.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, my dear; I am satisfied: go, and God guide you.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, monsieur,” she replied, “but I know not exactly how to go. I + do not wish to take my carriage; your nag is so skittish that I am afraid + to undertake the journey on it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, my dear, take my mule—it looks well, goes nicely and quietly, + and is more sure-footed than any animal I ever saw.” + </p> + <p> + “Faith!” she said, “I thank you: you are a good husband.” + </p> + <p> + The day of departure arrived, and all the servants of Madame were ready, + and also the women who were to serve her and accompany her, and two or + three cavaliers who were to escort Madame, and they asked if Madame were + also ready, and she informed them that she would come at once. + </p> + <p> + When she was dressed, she came down, and they brought her the mule which + had not drank for eight days, and was mad with thirst, so much salt had it + eaten. When she was mounted, the cavaliers went first, making their horses + caracole, and thus did all the company pass through the town into the + country, and on till they came to a defile through which the great river + Rhone rushes with marvellous swiftness. And when the mule which had drank + nothing for eight days saw the river, it sought neither bridge nor ford, + but made one leap into the river with its load, which was the precious + body of Madame. + </p> + <p> + All the attendants saw the accident, but they could give no help; so was + Madame drowned, which was a great misfortune. And the mule, when it had + drunk its fill, swam across the Rhone till it reached the shore, and was + saved. + </p> + <p> + All were much troubled and sorrowful that Madame was lost, and they + returned to the town. One of the servants went to the President, who was + in his room expecting the news; and with much sorrow told him of the death + of his wife. + </p> + <p> + The good President, who in his heart was more glad than sorry, showed + great contrition, and fell down, and displayed much sorrow and regret for + his good wife. He cursed the mule, and the wedding to which his wife was + going. + </p> + <p> + “And by God!” he said, “it is a great reproach to all you people that were + there that you did not save my poor wife, who loved you all so much; you + are all cowardly wretches, and you have clearly shown it.” + </p> + <p> + The servant excused himself, as did the others also, as well as they + could, and left the President, who praised God with uplifted hands that he + was rid of his wife. + </p> + <p> + He gave his wife’s body a handsome funeral, but—as you may imagine—although + he was of a fit and proper age, he took care never to marry again, lest he + should once more incur the same misfortune. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0048" id="linklink2H_4_0048"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="48pg (135K)" src="images/48pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-EIGHTH — THE CHASTE MOUTH. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a woman who would not suffer herself to be kissed, though she + willingly gave up all the rest of her body except the mouth, to her + lover—and the reason that she gave for this.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble youth fell in love with a young damsel who was married, and when + he had made her acquaintance, told her, as plainly as he could, his case, + and declared that he was ill for love of her,—and, to tell truth, he + was much smitten. + </p> + <p> + She listened to him graciously enough, and after their first interview, he + left well satisfied with the reply he had received. But if he had been + love sick before he made the avowal, he was still more so afterwards. He + could not sleep night or day for thinking of his mistress, and by what + means he could gain her favour. + </p> + <p> + He returned to the charge when he saw his opportunity, and God knows, if + he spoke well the first time, he played his part still better on the + second occasion, and, by good luck, he found his mistress not disinclined + to grant his request,—at which he was in no small degree pleased. + And as he had not always the time or leisure to come and see her, he told + her on that occasion of the desire he had to do her a service in any + manner that he could, and she thanked him and was as kind as could be. + </p> + <p> + In short, he found in her so great courtesy, and kindness, and fair words, + that he could not reasonably expect more, and thereupon wished to kiss, + but she refused point-blank; nor could he even obtain a kiss when he said + farewell, at which he was much astonished. + </p> + <p> + After he had left her, he doubted much whether he should ever gain her + love, seeing that he could not obtain a single kiss, but he comforted + himself by remembering the loving words she had said when they parted, and + the hope she had given him. + </p> + <p> + He again laid siege to her; in short, came and went so often, that his + mistress at last gave him a secret assignation, where they could say all + that they had to say, in private. And when he took leave of her, he + embraced her gently and would have kissed her, but she defended herself + vigorously, and said to him, harshly; + </p> + <p> + “Go away, go away! and leave me alone! I do not want to be kissed!” + </p> + <p> + He excused his conduct as he best could, and left. + </p> + <p> + “What is this?” he said to himself. “I have never seen a woman like that! + She gives me the best possible reception, and has already given me all + that I have dared to ask—yet I cannot obtain one poor, little kiss.” + </p> + <p> + At the appointed time, he went to the place his mistress had named, and + did at his leisure that for which he came, for he lay in her arms all one + happy night, and did whatsoever he wished, except kiss her, and that he + could never manage. + </p> + <p> + “I do not understand these manners,” he said to himself; “this woman lets + me sleep with her, and do whatever I like to her; but I have no more + chance of getting a single kiss than I have of finding the true Cross! + Morbleu! I cannot make it out; there is some mystery about it, and I must + find out what it is.” + </p> + <p> + One day when they were enjoying themselves, and were both gay, he said, + </p> + <p> + “My dear, I beg of you to tell me the reason why you invariably refuse to + give me a kiss? You have graciously allowed me to enjoy all your fair and + sweet body—and yet you refuse me a little kiss!” + </p> + <p> + “Faith! my friend,” she replied, “as you say, a kiss I have always refused + you,—so never expect it, for you will never get it. There is a very + good reason for that, as I will tell you. It is true that when I married + my husband, I promised him—with the mouth only—many fine + things. And since it is my mouth that swore and promised to be chaste, I + will keep it for him, and would rather die than let anyone else touch it—it + belongs to him and no other, and you must not expect to have anything to + do with it. But my backside has never promised or sworn anything to him; + do with that and the rest of me—my mouth excepted—whatever you + please; I give it all to you.” + </p> + <p> + Her lover laughed loudly, and said; + </p> + <p> + “I thank you, dearest! You say well, and I am greatly pleased that you are + honest enough to keep your promise.” + </p> + <p> + “God forbid,” she answered, “that I should ever break it.” + </p> + <p> + So, in the manner that you have heard, was this woman shared between them; + the husband, had the mouth only, and her lover all the rest, and if, by + chance, the husband ever used any other part of her, it was rather by way + of a loan, for they belonged to the lover by gift of the said woman. But + at all events the husband had this advantage, that his wife was content to + let him have the use of that which she had given to her lover; but on no + account would she permit the lover to enjoy that which she had bestowed + upon her husband. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0031" id="linklinkimage-0031"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/49.jpg" width="100%" alt="49.jpg" + title="The Scarlet Backside. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0049" id="linklink2H_4_0049"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="49pg (132K)" src="images/49pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FORTY-NINTH — THE SCARLET BACKSIDE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Pierre David. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of one who saw his wife with a man to whom she gave the whole of her + body, except her backside, which she left for her husband and he made + her dress one day when his friends were present in a woollen gown on the + backside of which was a piece of fine scarlet, and so left her before + all their friends.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I am well aware that formerly there lived in the city of Arras, a worthy + merchant, who had the misfortune to have married a wife who was not the + best woman in the world, for, when she saw a chance, she would slip as + easily as an old cross-bow. + </p> + <p> + The good merchant suspected his wife’s misdeeds, and was also informed by + several of his friends and neighbours. Thereupon he fell into a great + frenzy and profound melancholy; which did not mend matters. Then he + determined to try whether he could know for certain that which was hardly + likely to please him—that is to see one or more of those who were + his deputies come to his house to visit his wife. + </p> + <p> + So one day he pretended to go out, and hid himself in a chamber of his + house of which he alone had the key. The said chamber looked upon the + street and the courtyard, and by several secret openings and chinks upon + several other chambers in the house. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the good woman thought her husband had gone, she let one of the + lovers who used to come to her know of it, and he obeyed the summons as he + should, for he followed close on the heels of the wench who was sent to + fetch him. + </p> + <p> + The husband, who as has been said, was in his secret chamber, saw the man + who was to take his place enter the house, but he said not a word, for he + wished to know more if possible. + </p> + <p> + “When the lover was in the house, the lady led him by the hand into her + chamber, conversing all the while. Then she locked the door, and they + began to kiss and to cuddle, and enjoy themselves, and the good woman + pulled off her gown and appeared in a plain petticoat, and her companion + threw his arms round her, and did that for which he came. The poor + husband, meanwhile, saw all this through a little grating, and you may + imagine was not very comfortable; he was even so close to them that he + could hear plainly all they said. When the battle between the good woman + and her lover was over, they sat upon a couch that was in the chamber, and + talked of various matters. And as the lover looked upon his mistress, who + was marvellously fair, he began to kiss her again, and as he kissed her he + said; + </p> + <p> + “Darling, to whom does this sweet mouth belong?” + </p> + <p> + “It is yours, sweet friend,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “I thank you. And these beautiful eyes?” + </p> + <p> + “Yours also,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “And this fair rounded bosom-does that belong to me?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, by my oath, to you and none other,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + Afterwards he put his hand upon her belly, and upon her “front” and each + time asked, “Whose is this, darling?” + </p> + <p> + “There is no need to ask; you know well enough that it is all yours.” + </p> + <p> + Then he put his hand upon her big backside, and asked smiling, + </p> + <p> + “And whose is this?” + </p> + <p> + “It is my husband’s,” she said. “That is his share; but all the rest is + yours.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” he said, “I thank you greatly. I cannot complain, for you have + given me all the best parts. On the other hand, be assured that I am yours + entirely.” + </p> + <p> + “I well know it,” she said, and with that the combat of love began again + between them, and more vigorously than ever, and that being finished, the + lover left the house. + </p> + <p> + The poor husband, who had seen and heard everything, could stand no more; + he was in a terrible rage, nevertheless he suppressed his wrath, and the + next day appeared, as though he had just come back from a journey. + </p> + <p> + At dinner that day, he said that he wished to give a great feast on the + following Sunday to her father and mother, and such and such of her + relations and cousins, and that she was to lay in great store of + provisions that they might enjoy themselves that day. She promised to do + this and to invite the guests. + </p> + <p> + Sunday came, the dinner was prepared, those who were bidden all appeared, + and each took the place the host designated, but the merchant remained + standing, and so did his wife, until the first course was served. + </p> + <p> + When the first course was placed on the table, the merchant who had + secretly caused to be made for his wife a robe of thick duffle grey with a + large patch of scarlet cloth on the backside, said to his wife, “Come with + me to the bedroom.” + </p> + <p> + He walked first, and she followed him. When they were there, he made her + take off her gown, and showing her the aforesaid gown of duffle grey, + said, “Put on this dress!” + </p> + <p> + She looked, and saw that it was made of coarse stuff, and was much + surprised, and could not imagine why her husband wished her to dress in + this manner. + </p> + <p> + “For what purpose do you wish me to put this on?” she asked. “Never mind,” + he replied, “I wish you to wear it.” “Faith!” she replied, “I don’t like + it! I won’t put it on! Are you mad? Do you want all your people and mine + to laugh at us both?” + </p> + <p> + “Mad or sane,” he said, “you will wear it.” “At least,” she answered, “let + me know why.” “You will know that in good time.” In short, she was + compelled to put on this gown, which had a very strange appearance, and in + this apparel she was led to the table, where most of her relations and + friends were seated. + </p> + <p> + But you imagine they were very astonished to see her thus dressed, and, as + you may suppose, she was very much ashamed, and would not have come to the + table if she had not been compelled. + </p> + <p> + Some of her relatives said they had the right to know the meaning of this + strange apparel, but her husband replied that they were to enjoy their + dinner, and afterwards they should know. + </p> + <p> + The poor woman who was dressed in this strange garb could eat but little; + there was a mystery connected with the gown which oppressed her spirits. + She would have been even more troubled if she had known the meaning of the + scarlet patch, but she did not. + </p> + <p> + The dinner was at length over, the table was removed, grace was said, and + everyone stood up. Then the husband came forward and began to speak, and + said; + </p> + <p> + “All you who are here assembled, I will, if you wish, tell you briefly why + I have called you together, and why I have dressed my wife in this + apparel. It is true that I had been informed that your relative here kept + but ill the vows she had made to me before the priest, nevertheless I + would not lightly believe that which was told me, but wished to learn the + truth for myself, and six days ago I pretended to go abroad, and hid + myself in an upstairs chamber. I had scarcely come there before there + arrived a certain man, whom my wife led into her chamber, where they did + whatsoever best pleased them. And amongst other questions, the man + demanded of her to whom belonged her mouth, her eyes, her hands, her + belly, her ‘front’, and her thighs? And she replied, ‘<i>To you, dear</i>’. + And when he came to her backside, he asked, ‘<i>And whose is this, + darling?</i>’ ‘<i>My husband’s</i>’ she replied. Therefore I have dressed + her thus. She said that only her backside was mine, and I have caused it + it to be attired as becomes my condition. The rest of her have I clad in + the garb which is befitting an unfaithful and dishonoured woman, for such + she is, and as such I give her back to you.” + </p> + <p> + The company was much astonished to hear this speech, and the poor woman + overcome with shame. She never again occupied a position in her husband’s + house, but lived, dishonoured and ashamed, amongst her own people. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0050" id="linklink2H_4_0050"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="50pg (125K)" src="images/50pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTIETH — TIT FOR TAT. <a href="#linklinknote-50" name="linklinknoteref-50" id="linklinknoteref-50">50</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Anthoine De La Sale. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a father who tried to kill his son because the young man wanted to + lie with his grandmother, and the reply made by the said son.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Young men like to travel and to seek after adventures; and thus it was + with the son of a labourer, of Lannoys, who from the age of ten until he + was twenty-six, was away from home; and from his departure until his + return, his father and mother heard no news of him, so they often thought + that he was dead. + </p> + <p> + He returned at last, and God knows what joy there was in the house, and + how he was feasted to the best of such poor means as God had given them. + </p> + <p> + But the one who most rejoiced to see him was his grandmother, his father’s + mother. She was most joyful at his return, and kissed him more than fifty + times, and ceased not to praise God for having restored her grandson in + good health. + </p> + <p> + After the feasting was over, bed-time came. There were in the cottage but + two beds—the one for the father and mother, and the other for the + grandmother. So it was arranged that the son should sleep with his + grandmother, at which she was very glad, but he grumbled, and only + complied to oblige his parents, and as a makeshift for one night. + </p> + <p> + When he was in bed with his grandmother, it happened, I know not how, that + he began to get on the top of her. + </p> + <p> + “What are you doing?” she cried. + </p> + <p> + “Never you mind,” he replied, “and hold your tongue.” When she saw that he + really meant to ravish her, she began to cry out as loud as she could for + her son, who slept in the next room, and then jumped out of bed and went + and complained to him, weeping bitterly meanwhile. + </p> + <p> + When the other heard his mother’s complaint, and the unfilial conduct of + his son, he sprang out of bed in great wrath, and swore that he would kill + the young man. + </p> + <p> + The son heard this threat, so he rose quickly, slipped out of the house, + and made his escape. His father followed him, but not being so light of + foot, found the pursuit hopeless, so returned home, where his mother was + still grieving over the offence her grandson had committed. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, mother!” he said. “I will avenge you.” + </p> + <p> + I know not how many days after that, the father saw his son playing tennis + in the town of Laon, and drawing his dagger, went towards him, and would + have stabbed him, but the young man slipped away and his father was seized + and disarmed. + </p> + <p> + There were many there who knew that the two were father and son; so one + said to the son, + </p> + <p> + “How does this come about? What have you done to your father that he + should seek to kill you?” + </p> + <p> + “Faith! nothing,” he replied. “He is quite in the wrong. He wants to do me + all the harm in the world, because, just for once, I would ride his mother—whereas + he has mounted mine more than five hundred times, and I never said a word + about it.” + </p> + <p> + All those who heard this reply began to haugh heartily, and swore that he + must be a good fellow. So they did their best to make peace for him with + his father, and at last they succeeded, and all was forgiven and forgotten + on both sides. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0051" id="linklink2H_4_0051"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="51pg (132K)" src="images/51pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-FIRST — THE REAL FATHERS. + </h2> + <h3> + By The Editor. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a woman who on her death-bed, in the absence of her husband, made + over her children to those to whom they belonged, and how one of the + youngest of the children informed his father.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + There formerly lived in Paris, a woman who was married to a good and + simple man—he was one of our friends and it would have been + impossible to have had a better. This woman was very beautiful and + complaisant, and, when she was young, she never refused her favours to + those who pleased her, so that she had as many children by her lovers as + by her husband—about twelve or thirteen in all. + </p> + <p> + When at last she was very ill, and about to die, she thought she would + confess her sins and ease her conscience. She had all her children brought + to her, and it almost broke her heart to think of leaving them. She + thought it would not be right to leave her husband the charge of so many + children, of some of which he was not the father, though he believed he + was, and thought her as good a woman as any in Paris. + </p> + <p> + By means of a woman who was nursing her, she sent for two men who in past + times had been favoured lovers. They came to her at once, whilst her + husband was gone away to fetch a doctor and an apothecary, as she had + begged him to do. + </p> + <p> + When she saw these two men, she made all her children come to her, and + then said; + </p> + <p> + “You, such an one, you know what passed between us two in former days. I + now repent of it bitterly, and if Our Lord does not show me the mercy I + ask of Him, it will cost me dear in the next world. I have committed + faults, I know, but to add another to them would be to make matters worse. + Here are such and such of my children;—they are yours, and my + husband believes that they are his. You cannot have the conscience to make + him keep them, so I beg that after my death, which will be very soon, that + you will take them, and bring them up as a father should, for they are, in + fact, your own.” + </p> + <p> + She spoke in the same manner to the other man, showing him the other + children: + </p> + <p> + “Such and such are, I assure you, yours. I leave them to your care, + requesting you to perform your duty towards them. If you will promise me + to care for them, I shall die in peace.” + </p> + <p> + As she was thus distributing her children, her husband returned home, and + was met by one of his little sons, who was only about four years old. The + child ran downstairs to him in such haste that he nearly lost his breath, + and when he came to his father, he said, + </p> + <p> + “Alas, father! come quickly, in God’s name!” + </p> + <p> + “What has happened?” asked his father. “Is your mother dead?” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said the child, “but make haste upstairs, or you will have no + children left. Two men have come to see mother, and she is giving them + most of my brothers and sisters. If you do not make haste, she will give + them all away.” + </p> + <p> + The good man could not understand what his son meant, so he hastened + upstairs, and found his wife very ill, and with her the nurse, two of his + neighbours, and his children. + </p> + <p> + He asked the meaning of the tale his son had told him about giving away + his children. + </p> + <p> + “You will know later on,” she said; so he did not trouble himself further, + for he never doubted her in the least. + </p> + <p> + The neighbours went away, commending the dying woman to God, and promising + to do all she had requested, for which she thanked them. + </p> + <p> + When the hour of her death drew near, she begged her husband to pardon + her, and told him of the misdeeds she had committed during the years she + had lived with him, and how such and such of the children belonged to a + certain man, and such to another—that is to say those + before-mentioned—and that after her death they would take charge of + their own children. + </p> + <p> + He was much astonished to hear this news, nevertheless he pardoned her for + all her misdeeds, and then she died, and he sent the children to the + persons she had mentioned, who kept them. + </p> + <p> + And thus he was rid of his wife and his children, and felt much less + regret for the loss of his wife than he did for the loss of the children. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0032" id="linklinkimage-0032"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/52.jpg" width="100%" alt="52.jpg" + title="The Three Reminders. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0052" id="linklink2H_4_0052"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="52pg (136K)" src="images/52pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SECOND — THE THREE REMINDERS. <a + href="#linklinknote-52" name="linklinknoteref-52" id="linklinknoteref-52">52</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De La Roche. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of three counsels that a father when on his deathbed gave his son, + but to which the son paid no heed. And how he renounced a young girl he + had married, because he saw her lying with the family chaplain the first + night after their wedding.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Once upon a time there was a nobleman who was wise, prudent, and virtuous. + When he was on his deathbed, he settled his affairs, eased his conscience + as best he could, and then called his only son to whom he left his worldly + wealth. + </p> + <p> + After asking his son to be sure and pray for the repose of his soul and + that of his mother, to help them out of purgatory, he gave him three + farewell counsels, saying; “My dear son, I advise you first of all never + to stay in the house of a friend who gives you black bread to eat. + Secondly, never gallop your horse in a valley. Thirdly, never choose a + wife of a foreign nation. Always bear these three things in mind, and I + have no doubt you will be fortunate,—but, if you act to the + contrary, be sure you would have done better to follow your father’s + advice.” + </p> + <p> + The good son thanked his father for his wise counsels, and promised that + he would heed them, and never act contrary to them. + </p> + <p> + His father died soon after, and was buried with all befitting pomp and + ceremony; for his son wished to do his duty to one to whom he owed + everything. + </p> + <p> + Some time after this, the young nobleman, who was now an orphan and did + not understand household affairs, made the acquaintance of a neighbour, + whom he constantly visited, drinking and eating at his house. + </p> + <p> + This friend, who was married and had a beautiful wife, became very + jealous, and suspected that our young nobleman came on purpose to see his + wife, and that he was in reality her lover. + </p> + <p> + This made him very uncomfortable but he could think of no means of getting + rid of his guest, for it would have been useless to have told him what he + thought, so he determined that little by little he would behave in such a + way that, if the young man were not too stupid, he would see that his + frequent visits were far from welcome. + </p> + <p> + To put this project into execution, he caused black bread to be served at + meals, instead of white. After a few of these repasts, the young nobleman + remembered his father’s advice. He knew that he done wrong, and secretly + hid a piece of the black bread in his sleeve, and took it home with him, + and to remind himself, he hung it by a piece of string from a nail in the + wall of his best chamber, and did not visit his neighbour’s house as + formerly. + </p> + <p> + One day after that, he, being fond of amusement, was in the fields, and + his dogs put up a hare. He spurred his horse after them, and came up with + them in a valley, when his horse, which was galloping fast, slipped, and + broke its neck. + </p> + <p> + He was very thankful to find that his life was safe, and that he had + escaped without injury. He had the hare for his reward, and as he held it + up, and then looked at the horse of which he had been so fond, he + remembered the second piece of advice his father had given him, and which, + if he had kept in mind, he would have been spared the loss of his horse, + and also the risk of losing his life. + </p> + <p> + When he arrived home, he had the horse’s skin hung by a cord next to the + black bread; to remind him of the second counsel his father had given him. + </p> + <p> + Some time after this, he took it in his head to travel and see foreign + countries, and having arranged all his affairs, he set out on his journey, + and after seeing many strange lands, he at last took up his abode in the + house of a great lord, where he became such a favourite that the lord was + pleased to give him his daughter in marriage, on account of his pleasant + manners and virtues. + </p> + <p> + In short, he was betrothed to the girl, and the wedding-day came. But when + he supposed that he was to pass the night with her, he was told that it + was not the custom of the country to sleep the first night with one’s + wife, and that he must have patience until the next night. + </p> + <p> + “Since it is the custom of the country,” he said, “I do not wish it broken + for me.” + </p> + <p> + After the dancing was over, his bride was conducted to one room, and he to + another. He saw that there was only a thin partition of plaster between + the two rooms. He made a hole with his sword in the partition, and saw his + bride jump into bed; he saw also the chaplain of the household jump in + after her, to keep her company in case she was afraid, or else to try the + merchandise, or take tithes as monks do. + </p> + <p> + Our young nobleman, when he saw these goings on, reflected that he still + had some tow left on his distaff, and then there flashed across his mind + the recollection of the counsel his good father had given him, and which + he had so badly kept. + </p> + <p> + He comforted himself with the thought that the affair had not gone so far + that he could not get out of it. + </p> + <p> + The next day, the good chaplain, who had been his substitute for the + night, rose early in the morning, but unfortunately left his breeches + under the bride’s bed. The young nobleman, not pretending to know + anything, came to her bedside, and politely saluted her, as he well knew + how, and found means to surreptitiously take away the priest’s breeches + without anyone seeing him. + </p> + <p> + There were great rejoicings all that day, and when evening came, the + bride’s bed was prepared and decorated in a most marvellous manner, and + she went to bed. The bridegroom was told that that night he could sleep + with his wife. He was ready with a reply, and said to the father and + mother, and other relations. + </p> + <p> + “You know not who I am, and yet you have given me your daughter, and + bestowed on me the greatest honour ever done to a foreign gentleman, and + for which I cannot sufficiently thank you. Nevertheless, I have determined + never to lie with my wife until I have shown her, and you too, who I am, + what I possess, and how I am housed.” + </p> + <p> + The girl’s father immediately replied, + </p> + <p> + “We are well aware that you are a nobleman, and in a high position, and + that God has not given you so many good qualities without friends and + riches to accompany them. We are satisfied, therefore do not leave your + marriage unconsummated; we shall have time to see your state and condition + whenever you like.” + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, he vowed and swore that he would never sleep with + her if it were not in his own house, and he conducted thither the bride’s + father and mother, and many of her relations and friends. He put his house + in order to receive them, and to do so arrived there a day before them. + And as soon as he alighted, he took the priest’s breeches, and hung them + in the chamber, by the black bread and the horse’s skin. + </p> + <p> + Most cordially received were the relations and friends of the fair bride, + and they were much astonished to see the house of the young gentleman so + well furnished with vessels, carpets, and all other kinds of furniture, + and they thought themselves lucky to have procured such a husband for the + girl. + </p> + <p> + As they were looking round, they came to the great chamber, which was all + hung round with fair tapestry, and they perceived the brown bread, the + horse’s skin, and a pair of breeches hanging there; at which they were + much astonished, and asked their host the meaning. + </p> + <p> + He replied that he would willingly, and for a very good reason, tell them + the meaning,—but after they had eaten. + </p> + <p> + Dinner was prepared, and God knows that it was well served, They had no + sooner dined, than they demanded the interpretation of the mystery of the + black bread, the horse’s skin etc., and the worthy young gentleman related + the story at length, and told how his father,—being on his death-bed + as has been already narrated,—gave him three counsels. + </p> + <p> + “The first was never to remain in a house where they gave me black bread. + I paid no heed to this advice, for, after his death, I frequented the + house of a neighbour, who became jealous of his wife, and in place of the + white bread with which I was always served, gave me black; so in + recollection and acknowledgment of the truth of that advice, I hung that + piece of black bread there. The second counsel that my father gave me, was + never to gallop my horse in a valley. I did not bear that in mind, and + suffered for it, for one day, when riding in a valley after a hare pursued + by my dogs, my horse fell and broke its neck, and it is a wonder I was not + badly hurt. To remind me of my escape from death, the skin of the horse I + then lost is hung there. The third counsel and advice that my father—whose + soul is with God—gave me, was never to marry a woman of a strange + nation. In this also I failed, and I will tell you what happened to me. + The first night after I was married to your daughter, and you refused to + let me sleep with her, I was lodged in a chamber close to hers, and as the + partition between her and me was but thin, I pierced a hole with my sword, + and I saw the chaplain of your household come and lie with her; but he + left his breeches under the bed when he rose in the morning—which + breeches I obtained possession of, and have hung them there as evidence of + the everlasting truth of the third counsel that my late father gave me, + and which I had not duly remembered and borne in mind; but in order that I + may not again fall into the same errors, have placed here these three + objects to render me prudent. And because—thank God—I am not + so much committed to your daughter that she cannot now leave me, I would + ask of you to take her back, and return to your own country, for as long + as I live I will never come near her. But, because I have made you come a + long way to show you that I am not the sort of man to take a priest’s + leavings, I am prepared to pay your expenses.” + </p> + <p> + The others did not know what to say, but seeing that their misdeeds were + discovered, and seeing also that being far from their own country, force + would not be on their side, were content to take the money for their + expenses, and return whence they came; for if they had staked more they + would have lost more. + </p> + <p> + Such, as you have heard, were the three counsels which the good father + gave his son, and which should not be forgotten; let everyone remember + them, so far as they concern himself. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0053" id="linklink2H_4_0053"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="53pg (141K)" src="images/53pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-THIRD — THE MUDDLED MARRIAGES. + </h2> + <h3> + By The Archivist Of Brussels. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of two men and two women who were waiting to be married at the first + Mass in the early morning; and because the priest could not see well, he + took the one for the other, and gave to each man the wrong wife, as you + will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + One morning there were assembled in the cathedral of Sainte Gudule at + Brussels, many men and women who wished to be married at the first Mass, + which is said between four and five o’clock; and amongst others who wished + to enter this sweet and happy condition, and promise before the priest to + live honestly and uprightly, were a young man and a young woman who were + not rich, who were standing near each other, waiting for the priest to + call them to marry them. + </p> + <p> + Near them were an old man and an old woman, who had great possessions and + wealth, but who, out of covetousness and the desire to have more, had also + promised troth to one another, and were also waiting to be married at this + first Mass. + </p> + <p> + The priest came and recited this much-desired Mass, and at the end + thereof, as is the custom, had ranged before him those who wished to be + married, of whom there were many, without counting the four I have + mentioned. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the good priest who was standing ready before the + altar to accomplish the wedding rites, was blind of one eye, having lost + an eye by some mischance a little time before. Also there was hardly any + light in the chapel or on the altar, and, as it was winter, it was very + dark. So he could not see the couples properly, and when he came to marry + them, he took the rich old man and the poor, young girl, and joined them + together with the wedding ring. + </p> + <p> + On the other hand, he also took the poor, young man and married him to the + rich, old woman,—without any of those in the church noticing it, + either men or women—which was very strange, especially on the part + of the men, for they dare to raise their heads and their eyes when they + are on their knees before the priest, whilst the women who are modest and + shy, always look down on the ground. + </p> + <p> + It is the custom on leaving the church for the friends of the bride to + meet her, and conduct her to her husband’s house. So it was that the poor, + young girl was taken to the house of the rich man, and also the rich, old + woman was escorted to the cottage of the young man. + </p> + <p> + When the young bride found herself in the court, and then in the great + hall of the house of the man she had married by mistake, she was much + astonished, and knew well that was not the house she had left that + morning. When she was in the dressing-room, which was hung round with rich + tapestries, she saw a large fire, a table well covered, on which a good + breakfast was all ready, and a handsome sideboard, well garnished with + vessels of all sorts, and was more astonished than ever, and thought it + strange she did not know a soul present to whom she could speak. + </p> + <p> + She was soon relieved of the cloak in which she was huddled-up, and when + the bridegroom and the others who were there saw her uncovered, you may + guess they were as much surprised as though horns had cropped up on their + heads. + </p> + <p> + “What?” said the bridegroom. “Is that my wife? By Our Lady, I am very + lucky. She is much changed since yesterday; I think she must have been to + the fountain of youth.” + </p> + <p> + “We do not know,” replied those who had brought her, “whence she comes, or + what she has done; but we are certain that is the woman you have married, + for we took her at the altar, and since then she has never left our + hands.” + </p> + <p> + They were all much astonished, and remained long without saying a word, + but the most foolish-looking and surprised of all was the poor bride; she + was quite downcast and wept gently, for she would have much preferred to + be with her lover, whom she had expected to marry that day. + </p> + <p> + The bridegroom, seeing her so miserable, had pity on her, and said, + </p> + <p> + “My dear, do not be downcast; you are in a good house, please God, and no + one is going to do you any harm. But tell me, if you please, who you are, + and what information you can as to how you came here.” + </p> + <p> + When she heard herself spoken to so courteously, she regained a little + courage, and gave the names of her father and mother, and said that she + was of Brussels, and was betrothed to a certain young man, whom she named, + and whom she had expected to have married. + </p> + <p> + The bridegroom, and all those who were there, began to laugh, and said + that the priest had played them this trick. + </p> + <p> + “Well, God be praised for the change!” said the bridegroom at last. “I do + not greatly regret that God sent you to me, and I promise you on my word + to make you a good husband.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” she said, weeping. “You are not my husband. I wish to go back to + him to whom my father gave me.” + </p> + <p> + “That shall not be,” said he. “I married you in the holy church, and you + cannot deny it. You are, and you will remain, my wife; and be content, for + you are very lucky. I have, thank God, riches enough, of which you shall + be the lady and mistress, and you will be very comfortable.” + </p> + <p> + He, and the others who were there, talked her over till at last she + consented. So they had a light breakfast together, and then went to bed, + and the old man did the best he knew how. + </p> + <p> + But let us return to the old woman, and the young man. + </p> + <p> + When she found herself in the house, she was in a great rage, and said; + </p> + <p> + “What am I doing here? Why do you not take me either to my own house, or + to the house of my husband?” + </p> + <p> + The bridegroom, when he saw the old woman, and heard her speak, was much + surprised, and so were his father and mother, and all who were there + assembled. Then came out the father and mother, who knew the old woman, + and the father spoke to his son, and said, + </p> + <p> + “My son, they have given you the wife of some one else, and it is to be + supposed he has your wife. It is all the fault of our curé, who sees so + badly, and—God help me—I was so far away from you when you + were married that I never perceived the change.” + </p> + <p> + “What must I do?” asked the bridegroom. + </p> + <p> + “Upon my word,” said his father, “I do not well know, but I greatly doubt + if you can have any other wife than this.” + </p> + <p> + “St. John!” said the old woman, “I will not have him. I do not care for + such a sorry fellow! I should be very happy, should I not? with a young + fellow who did not care for me and would spend all my money, and if, I + ventured to say a word would give me a crack on the head. Go away! go + away! and fetch your wife, and let me go where I ought to be.” + </p> + <p> + “By Our Lady!” said the bridegroom, “if I can get her back, I would rather + have her than you, however poor she may be; but if I cannot obtain her, + you will not go.” + </p> + <p> + His father, and some of his relations, went to the house where the old + woman wished to be, and found the company breakfasting well, and preparing + the caudle for the bride and bridegroom. + </p> + <p> + The father stated the case, but the others replied, + </p> + <p> + “You come too late; each must keep what he has; the master of the house is + content with the wife that God has given him; he wedded her, and he does + not want any other. And do not complain, for you would never have been so + fortunate as to get your daughter married so well; now you will all be + rich.” + </p> + <p> + The father returned home, and reported the answer he had, at which the old + woman was in a great rage. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed!” she said, “am I to be deceived in this manner? By God, the + matter shall not rest here; justice shall be done me!” + </p> + <p> + If the old woman was displeased, as much, or more, was the young man, who + was deprived of his ladylove. Still, he might have looked over that if he + could have had the old woman, and all her money, but it was no good, she + made herself so disagreeable that he was obliged to let her return home. + </p> + <p> + So he was advised to summon her before the Bishop of Cambrai; and she also + summoned the old man who had married the young woman, and a great lawsuit + began, judgment in which is not given yet, so I can tell you no more about + it. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0033" id="linklinkimage-0033"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/54.jpg" width="100%" alt="54.jpg" + title="The Right Moment. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0054" id="linklink2H_4_0054"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="54pg (138K)" src="images/54pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY FOURTH — THE RIGHT MOMENT. + </h2> + <h3> + By Mahiot D’auquesnes. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a damsel of Maubeuge who gave herself up to a waggoner, and + refused many noble lovers; and of the reply that she made to a noble + knight because he reproached her for this—as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble knight of Flanders—young, lusty, and a good jouster, dancer, + and singer, was once living in the county of Hainault with another noble + knight of the same rank then living there, though he had a fine residence + in Flanders. Love—as often happens—was the cause that he + remained there, for he was much smitten by a damsel of Maubeuge, and God + knows what he did for her; often giving jousts, masquerades, banquets, and + whatever else was possible, and that he thought would please his mistress. + </p> + <p> + He was to some extent in her good graces for a time, but not so much as he + wished to be. His friend, the knight of Hainault, who knew of his love + affair, did all he could to assist him, and it was not his fault that his + friend did not succeed better. But why make a long story? The good knight + of Flanders, do all he would, and his friend also, could never obtain from + the lady the supreme favour, but found her still harsh and unkind. + </p> + <p> + At last he was compelled to return to Flanders; so he took leave of his + mistress, and left his friend there, and promised that if he did not + return shortly he would often write to her, and give news about himself; + and she promised the same on her side. + </p> + <p> + Now it came to pass that a few days after the knight had returned to + Flanders, that the lady wished to go on a pilgrimage, and made her + arrangements accordingly. + </p> + <p> + And when the carriage was in front of her house, and the waggoner, who was + a lusty fellow, strong and active, in it, preparing it for her, that she + threw a cushion on his head, which caused him to fall on his hands and + knees, at which she laughed loud and long. + </p> + <p> + “By God, mademoiselle, you made me fall, but I will have my revenge, and + before night I will make you tumble.” + </p> + <p> + “You would not be so unkind,” she replied, and so saying she took another + cushion, and when the waggoner was off his guard, she knocked him down + again, and then laughed more heartily than ever. + </p> + <p> + “What is this, mademoiselle?” cried the waggoner. “Do you want to hurt me? + I swear that if I were near you I would take my revenge at once.” + </p> + <p> + “What would you do?” said she. + </p> + <p> + “If I were up there I would show you,” he replied. + </p> + <p> + “You would do miracles—to hear you talk; but you would never dare to + come.” + </p> + <p> + “No?” said he. “You shall see.” + </p> + <p> + He jumped out of the vehicle, entered the house, and ran upstairs, where + he found the damsel in her petticoat, and as happy as she could be. He at + once began to assail her, and—to cut matters short—she was not + sorry to let him take what she could not in honour have given him. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the appointed time she brought forth a fine little waggoner. + The matter was not so secret but what the knight of Hainault heard of it, + and was much surprised. + </p> + <p> + He wrote in haste, and sent the letter by a messenger to his friend in + Flanders, to say that his mistress had had a child with the help of a + waggoner. + </p> + <p> + You may guess that the other was much surprised at the news, and he + quickly came to Hainault to his friend, and begged of him to come and see + his mistress and upbraid her with her misdeeds. + </p> + <p> + Although she was keeping herself concealed at the time, the two knights + found means to come to her. She was much ashamed and vexed to see them, as + she well knew she would hear nothing pleasant from them, but she plucked + up her courage, and put on the best countenance she could. + </p> + <p> + They began by talking of various matters; and then the good knight of + Flanders began his tirade, and called her all the names he could think of. + </p> + <p> + “You are,” he said, “the most shameful and depraved woman in the world, + and you have shown the wickedness of your heart by abandoning yourself to + a low villain of a waggoner; although many noble persons offered you their + services and you refused them all. For my own part, you know what I did to + gain your love, and was I not more deserving of reward than a rascally + waggoner who never did anything for you?” + </p> + <p> + “I beg of you, monsieur,” she replied, “to say no more about it—what + is done cannot be undone—but I tell you plainly that if you had come + at the moment when the waggoner did, that I would have done for you what I + did for him.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that so?” he said. “By St. John! he came at a lucky moment! Devil take + it! why was I not so fortunate as to know the right time to come.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” she said, “he came just at the moment when he ought to have + come.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, go to the devil!” he cried, “your moments, and you, and your waggoner + as well.” + </p> + <p> + And with that he left, and his friend followed him, and they never had + anything more to do with her,—and for a very good reason. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0034" id="linklinkimage-0034"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/55.jpg" width="100%" alt="55.jpg" + title="A Cure for the Plague. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0055" id="linklink2H_4_0055"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="55pg (124K)" src="images/55pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-FIFTH — A CURE FOR THE PLAGUE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Villiers. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a girl who was ill of the plague and caused the death of three men + who lay with her, and how the fourth was saved, and she also.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the year of the pardons of Rome (*) just past, the plague was so great + and terrible in Dauphiné, that the greater part of the better-class people + left the country. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The great Jubilee of 1450. +</pre> + <p> + At that time a fair, young damsel felt herself stricken with the malady, + and at once repaired to a neighbour, a woman of good condition, and rather + old, and related her piteous condition. + </p> + <p> + The neighbour, who was a wise and prudent woman, was not frightened at + what the told her, and had even sufficient courage and assurance to + comfort her with words, and what little she could do in the way of + medicine. “Alas!” said the young girl who was sick, “my good neighbour, I + greatly grieve that I must now leave the world and all the happinesses and + amusements I have long enjoyed! But, by my oath! and between ourselves, my + greatest sorrow is that I must die before I have known and tasted the good + things of this world; such and such young men have often solicited me, and + I bluntly refused them, for which I am now sorry; and if I die I shall + never have another chance to let a man show me how to lose my maidenhead. + They have told me that it is so pleasant and good, that I sorrow for my + fair and tender body, which must rot without having had this much desired + pleasure. And, to tell the truth, my good neighbour, it seems to me that + if I once tasted this delight before my death, my end would be easier—I + should die more easily, and with less regret. And, what is more, my heart + is so set upon this that it might be medicine to me, and the cause of my + cure.” + </p> + <p> + “Would to God!” said the old woman, “that nothing else were needed; you + would be soon cured it seems to me, for—thank God—our town is + not yet so destitute of of men that we cannot find a good fellow to do + this job for you.” + </p> + <p> + “My good neighbour,” said the young girl, “I would beg of you to go to + such an one”—whom she named, who was a fine gentleman, and who had + formerly been in love with her—“and tell him to come here and speak + to me.” + </p> + <p> + The old woman set out, and found the gentleman, whom she sent to the + house. As soon as he came there, the young girl, who, on account of her + disease had a high colour, threw her arms round his neck, and kissed him + twenty times. The young man, more joyful than ever to find her whom he had + so much loved abandon herself to him, seized her without more ado, and + showed her that which she so much desired to know. + </p> + <p> + She was not ashamed to beg and pray him to continue as he had commenced; + and, in short, she made him begin again so often that he could do no more. + When she saw that, as she had not yet had her fill, she was bold enough to + say; + </p> + <p> + “My friend you have often beseeched for that which I ask you now. You have + done all that in you is, I know well. Nevertheless, I know that I have not + all I want, and I am sure that I cannot live unless some one else comes + and does to me what you have done, and therefore I beg of you, if you + value my life, to go to such an one and bring him hither.” + </p> + <p> + “It is true, my dear, that I know well he will do what you want.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman was much astonished at the request; nevertheless, though he + had worked till he could do no more, he went off and found his companion, + and brought him to her, and he soon set to work as the other had done. + </p> + <p> + When he was played out as his friend had been, she was not ashamed to ask + him, as she had done the first, to bring to her another gentleman, and he + did so. + </p> + <p> + This made three with whom she had fought a love battle and defeated them + all; but you must know that the first gentleman felt ill, and stricken + with the plague, as soon as he had sent his friend to take his place; so + he hastened to the priest, and confessed as best he could, and then died + in the priest’s arms. + </p> + <p> + His friend also, the second comer, as soon as he had given up his place to + the third, felt very ill, and asked everywhere after the one who was + already dead. He met the priest, weeping and exhibiting great grief, who + told him of the death of his friend. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, monsieur le curé, I am stricken as he was; hear my confession.” + </p> + <p> + The curé, in a great fright, made haste to hear his confession, and, when + that was finished, the gentleman, though within two hours of his end, went + to her from whom he and his friend had taken the contagion, and found with + her the man he had fetched, and said to her; + </p> + <p> + “Cursed woman! you have killed me and my friend also. You ought to be + burned to death! Nevertheless I pardon you, and may God pardon you! You + have the plague, and have given it to my friend, who died in the priest’s + arms, and I shall soon follow him.” With that he left, and died an hour + later in his own house. + </p> + <p> + The third gentleman, who had run the same risks as his companions, who + were both dead, did not feel very safe. Nevertheless, he took courage, and + cast aside all fear, and bethought him that he had often been in perils + and dangerous battles before, and went to the father and mother of the + girl who had killed his two companions, and told them that their daughter + was ill, and that they must take care of her. That being done, he so + conducted himself that he escaped the danger of which his two friends had + died. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that when this slayer of men was brought back to her + father’s house, whilst they were making a bed ready in which she could + repose and sweat, she sent secretly for the son of a shoe-maker, a + neighbour, and had him brought to her father’s stable, where she made him + work as she had done the others, but he did not live four hours after. + </p> + <p> + She was put to bed, and they made her sweat greatly. And soon there + appeared upon her body four buboes, of which she was afterwards cured. And + I believe that you will find her now amongst the prostitutes at Avignon, + Vienne, Valence, or some other place in Dauphiné. + </p> + <p> + And the doctors said that she had escaped death because she had tasted the + joys of this life; which is a notable and true example to many young girls + to never refuse a good thing when it comes in their way. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0056" id="linklink2H_4_0056"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="56pg (130K)" src="images/56pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN, THE PRIEST, THE SERVANT, AND THE + </h2> + <p> + WOLF. + </p> + <p> + By Monseigneur De Villiers. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman who caught, in a trap that he laid, his wife, the + priest, her maid, and a wolf; and burned them all alive, because his + wife committed adultery with the priest.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In a town in this kingdom, in the duchy of Auvergne, there formerly lived + a gentleman, who, to his misfortune, had a very pretty young wife. + </p> + <p> + This damsel was acquainted with a priest, a neighbour, who lived half a + league off, and they were so neighbourly together that the good priest + took the gentleman’s place whenever he was absent. + </p> + <p> + And this damsel had a waiting-maid who was acquainted with all their + doings, and often carried messages to the priest, and advised him of the + place and hour when he could safely come to her mistress. + </p> + <p> + The matter was not so well hid as the lovers would have liked, for a + gentleman, who was a near relative of him to whom this dishonour was done, + was informed of the affair, and told the person most concerned all that he + knew. + </p> + <p> + You may fancy that the good gentleman, when he heard that in his absence + his wife was helped by the priest, was not overpleaaed, and if it had not + been for his cousin would have taken terrible vengeance as soon as he + heard the news; but consented to put it off until he had taken them both + in the act. + </p> + <p> + He and his cousin arranged to go on a pilgrimage, four or six leagues from + home, and take his wife and the priest, in order to take note how they + behaved towards each other. + </p> + <p> + As they were returning from this pilgrimage, during which the curé had + made love as he best could,—that is to say by glances and other + little devices—the husband caused himself to be sent for by a + messenger he had instructed, to come at once to a lord of that country. + </p> + <p> + He pretended to be very vexed, and to leave with much regret, —nevertheless, + since the lord had sent for him he could not disobey. So he went his way, + and his cousin, the other gentleman, said that he would keep him company, + as that was his way to return home. + </p> + <p> + The priest and the lady much rejoiced to hear this news; they consulted + together and decided that the priest should take leave and quit the house, + in order that none of the people there might suspect him, and about + midnight he would return to the lady, as he was accustomed. No sooner was + this determined on than the priest said farewell, and left the house. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that the husband and his relative were hidden in a gorge + through which the priest would have to pass, and could neither go or + return any other way, without going out of the right road. + </p> + <p> + They saw the priest pass, and judged that he would return that night—as + indeed was his intention. They let him pass without saying a word, and + then prepared a large pitfall, with the help of some peasants who aided + them in the task. The trap was quickly and well made, and it was not long + before a wolf, passing that way, fell into the pit. + </p> + <p> + Soon after came the priest, clad in a short gown, and with a curtle axe + hung round his neck; and when he came to where the pitfall had been dug, + he fell into it on the wolf, at which he was much alarmed, and the wolf, + who was down there first, was as much afraid of the priest as the priest + was of it. + </p> + <p> + When the two gentlemen saw the priest lodged along with the wolf, they + were much delighted, and he who was most concerned, declared that the + priest should never come out alive, for he would kill him there. The other + blamed him for this, and did not wish the priest killed, and was of + opinion they should rather cut off his genitals; but the husband wanted + him killed, and this discussion lasted for a long time, while they were + awaiting the dawn, when they could see clearly. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were thus waiting, the lady, who expected the priest, and did + not know why he tarried so long, sent her servant-maid in order to make + him hurry. + </p> + <p> + The maid, whilst on her road to the cure’s house, fell into the trap with + the wolf and the curé. She was much astonished to find herself in such + company. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said the priest, “I am lost. We have been found out, and someone + has laid this trap for us.” + </p> + <p> + The husband and his cousin, who heard and saw all, were both as pleased as + they could be; and they felt as sure as though the Holy Spirit had + revealed it to them, that the mistress would fellow the maid, for they had + heard the maid say that her mistress had sent her to the priest to know + why he had failed to come at the hour agreed upon between them. + </p> + <p> + The mistress, finding that neither the curé or the maid came, and that + dawn was approaching, suspected that there was something, and that she + should find them in a little wood there was on the road—which was + where the trap was laid—and determined to go there and try and find + out if there was any news. + </p> + <p> + She walked along towards the priest’s house, and when she came to the spot + where the trap was laid, she tumbled in along with the others. + </p> + <p> + When they found themselves all assembled, it need not be said that they + were much astonished, and each did his or her utmost to get out of the + pit, but it was no good, and they looked upon themselves as being as good + as dead, as well as dishonoured. + </p> + <p> + Then the two prime movers in the affair—that is to say the husband + of the lady, and his cousin—came to the edge of the pit, and saluted + the company, and told them to be comfortable, and asked them if they were + ready for breakfast. + </p> + <p> + The husband, who was anxious for his revenge, managed to send his cousin + to look after their horses, which were at a house near by, and when he had + got rid of him, he made all the haste he could, and threw a quantity of + brushwood into the pit, and set it on fire, and burned them all—wife, + priest, waiting-woman and wolf. + </p> + <p> + After that he left that part of the country, and went to the King to ask + his pardon, which he easily obtained. + </p> + <p> + And some say that the King remarked that it was a pity the poor wolf + should have been burned alive for the faults of the others. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0035" id="linklinkimage-0035"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/57.jpg" width="100%" alt="57.jpg" + title="The Obliging Brother. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0057" id="linklink2H_4_0057"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="57pg (129K)" src="images/57pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-SEVENTH — THE OBLIGING BROTHER. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monsieur De Villiers. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a damsel who married a shepherd, and how the marriage was + arranged, and what a gentleman, the brother of the damsel, said.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + As you are all ready to listen to me, and no one comes forward at the + present moment to continue this glorious and edifying book of a Hundred + Stories, I will relate an instance which happened formerly in Dauphiné, + fit to be included in the number of the said novels. + </p> + <p> + A gentleman who lived in Dauphiné, had in his house a sister, aged about + eighteen or twenty, who was a companion to his wife, who loved her dearly, + so that they agreed together like two sisters. + </p> + <p> + It happened that this gentleman was bidden to the house of a neighbour, + who lived a couple of short leagues away, to visit him, and took with him + his wife and sister. They went, and God knows how cordially they were + received. + </p> + <p> + The wife of the neighbour who invited them, took the wife and sister of + the said gentleman for a walk after supper, talking of various matters, + and they came to the hut of the shepherd, which was near a large and fine + park in which the sheep were kept, and found there the chief shepherd + looking after his flock. And—as women will—they enquired about + many and various things, and amongst others they asked if he was not cold + in his cottage? He replied he was not, and that he was more comfortable in + his hut than they were in their glazed, matted, and well-floored chambers. + </p> + <p> + They talked also of other matters, and some of their phrases had a bawdy + meaning; and the worthy shepherd, who was neither a fool nor a blockhead, + swore to them that he was prepared to undertake to do the job eight or + nine times in one night. + </p> + <p> + The sister of our gentleman cast amorous glances at the shepherd when she + heard this, and did not fail to tell him, when she found a fitting + opportunity, that he had made an impression on her, and that he was to + come to see her at her brother’s house, and that she would make him + welcome. + </p> + <p> + The shepherd, who saw she was a pretty girl, was not a little pleased at + this news, and promised to come and see her. And, in short, he did as he + had promised, and at the hour arranged between his lady-love and him was + in front of her window; and though it was a high and dangerous ascent, + nevertheless he accomplished it by means of a cord which she let down, and + a vine there was there, and was soon in her chamber, where, it need not be + said, he was heartily welcomed. + </p> + <p> + He showed that it was no empty boast he had made, for before daylight, the + stag had eight horns, at which the lady was greatly pleased. And you must + know that before the shepherd could come to the lady, he had to walk two + leagues, and swim the broad river, Rhone, which was close to the house + where his mistress lived; and when day came he had to recross the Rhone, + and return to his sheepfold; and he continued to do this for a long time + without being discovered. + </p> + <p> + During this time many gentlemen of that country demanded the hand of this + damsel turned shepherdess, in marriage, but not one of them was to her + taste; at which her brother was not best pleased, and said so many times, + but she was always well provided with answers and excuses. She informed + her lover, the shepherd, of all this, and one night she promised him that, + if he wished, she would never have any other husband but him. He replied + that he desired nothing better; + </p> + <p> + “But it can never be,” he said; “on account of your brother and your other + friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Do not trouble yourself about that,” she said, “let me manage as I like + and it will be all right.” + </p> + <p> + So they plighted troth to one another. But soon after that there came a + gentleman to make a last request for the hand of the lady shepherdess, and + who said he would marry her if she were only dressed in the manner + becoming her station without any other portion. Her brother would have + willingly listened to this demand, and tried to persuade his sister to + give her consent, pointing out to her what her duty was in such a case; + but he could not succeed, at which he was much displeased. + </p> + <p> + When she saw that he was angry with her, she took him on one side, and + said; + </p> + <p> + “Brother, you have long lectured me, and pressed me to marry such and such + a man, and I would never consent. Now I beg of you not to be angry with or + bear any resentment towards me, and I will tell you what has prevented my + acceding to any of these requests, if you will promise not to be still + more enraged against me.” + </p> + <p> + Her brother willingly promised. When she had obtained this assurance, she + told him that she was as good as married already, and that as long as she + lived she would never have for husband any other man than the one she + would show him that night if he wished. + </p> + <p> + “I should much like to see him,” replied her brother, “but who is he?” + </p> + <p> + “You will see in good time,” she said. + </p> + <p> + At the accustomed hour the shepherd came, and climbed to the lady’s + chamber, God knows how wet from having crossed the river. The brother + looked at him, and saw it was his neighbour’s shepherd, and was in no + small degree astonished; and still more so was the shepherd, who would + have fled when he saw him. + </p> + <p> + “Stay! Stay!” said the gentleman, “there is nothing to fear.” + </p> + <p> + “Is this,” he added turning to his sister, “the man of whom you spoke to + me?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly, brother,” said she. + </p> + <p> + “Then make a good fire for him to warm himself,” said the gentleman, “for + he much needs it. And do you regard him as your husband; and truly you are + not wrong to like him, for he has run great dangers for love of you. And + since the matter has gone so far, and you have the courage to take him for + a husband, never mind me, and cursed be he who does not hurry on the + marriage.” + </p> + <p> + “Amen!” she said. “It shall be to-morrow, if you wish.” + </p> + <p> + “I do wish,” he replied; then turning to the shepherd. + </p> + <p> + “What do you say?” + </p> + <p> + “Whatever you wish.” + </p> + <p> + “There is nothing else for it then,” said the gentleman. “You are, and + shall be, my brother-in-law. Not so long ago our family was not noble; so + I may well have a shepherd for a brother-in-law.” + </p> + <p> + To cut the story short, the gentleman consented to the marriage of his + sister to the shepherd; and it was performed, and they both continued to + live in his house, though it was much talked about throughout the country. + </p> + <p> + And when he was in some place where the affair was being talked about, and + surprise was expressed that he had not killed or beaten the shepherd, the + gentleman replied that he would never harm one whom his sister loved; and + that he would rather have for a brother-in-law, a shepherd his sister + liked, than some great man she did not like. + </p> + <p> + All this was said as a joke, and sportingly; for he was, and has always + been, a courteous and pleasant gentleman, and liked not to hear his + sister’s name bandied about, even amongst his friends and boon companions. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0058" id="linklink2H_4_0058"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="58pg (137K)" src="images/58pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-EIGHTH — SCORN FOR SCORN. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of two comrades who wished to make their mistresses better inclined + towards them, and so indulged in debauchery, and said, that as after + that their mistresses still scorned them, that they too must have played + at the same game—as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I knew, in the time of my green and virtuous youth, two gentlemen, good + comrades, accomplished, and provided with every quality to be praised in a + virtuous gentleman. They were friends, and were alike each other in every + respect, not only bodily, but as regarded their clothes, their servants, + and their horses. + </p> + <p> + It happened that they fell in love with two fair young damsels of good + family and gracious, and they did for these fair ladies’ sake a hundred + thousand little courtesies. Their vows were listened to—but nothing + more. Perhaps the damsels had lovers already, or did not wish to have a + love affair on their hands, for in truth the youths were both good + fellows, such as many a noble lady would have liked for a lover. + </p> + <p> + Be that as it may, they could not win their ladies’ love, which caused + them to pass many nights in God knows what sorrow, now cursing fortune, + now love, and most often their mistresses for being so unkind. Whilst they + were suffering this rage and grief, one of them said one day to his + friend, + </p> + <p> + “We can see with half an eye that our mistresses do not care for us, and + yet we more madly desire them than ever, and the more scorn and harshness + they show us the more we desire to please, serve, and obey them! Upon my + word this seems to me the height of folly. Let us, I pray you, think no + more of them than they do of us, and you will see that when they know + that, it will be their turn to seek and importune us.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said the other, “very good advice, no doubt, but how can it be + carried out?” + </p> + <p> + “I have found the means,” said the first. “I have always heard it said, + and Ovid puts it in his book, The Remedy of Love, that to do—you + know what—much and often, makes you forget or think little of the + person with whom you are in love. I will tell you what we will do. We will + take home with us a couple of nice young ‘cousins’ (*), and we will sleep + with them, and commit every folly with them that our strength will permit, + and then we will go and see our ladies, and the devil is in it if they do + not then care for us.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Prostitutes. The word is doubtless derived from + <i>coussin</i>. +</pre> + <p> + The other agreed, and the proposal was carried out, and each took home a + nice wench. And after that they went to a great feast where their ladies + were, and they flaunted in front of the damsels, chattering carelessly + here and there, and seeming to say in a hundred thousand ways, “We do not + care for you”, believing that, as they had devised, their mistresses would + be displeased, and would try to make their lovers return to their + allegiance. + </p> + <p> + But it happened quite otherwise, for if the youths appeared to think but + little of the ladies, they on the other hand, showed openly that they + cared nothing for the young men, which the latter perceived, and were much + amazed at. The one said to his friend; + </p> + <p> + “Do you know what is the matter? Morbleu! our mistresses have done exactly + what we have done. Do you not see how scornful they are? They carry + themselves exactly as we do—and, believe me, for the very same + reason. They have each chosen a paramour and indulged in folly to the + utmost. Devil take the bitches! Let us leave them alone!” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” replied the other, “I believe it is as you say. I never + expected to find them like this.” + </p> + <p> + So the two friends thought that their mistresses had done the same as they + had done themselves, because the damsels took no more heed of them than + they did of the damsels—which may not have been true, but was not + difficult to believe. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0059" id="linklink2H_4_0059"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="59pg (134K)" src="images/59pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE FIFTY-NINTH — THE SICK LOVER. <a href="#linklinknote-59" name="linklinknoteref-59" id="linklinknoteref-59">59</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Poncelet. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a lord who pretended to be sick in order that he might lie with + the servant maid, with whom his wife found him.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the town of St. Omer there lived formerly a a good fellow, sergeant to + the king, who was married to a good and chaste woman, who had, by a former + marriage, a son grown up and married. + </p> + <p> + This good fellow, notwithstanding that he had a virtuous and prudent wife, + made love day and night with whomsoever he had a chance, and as often as + possible. And as in winter it was often inconvenient to go far to seek for + his love affairs, he bethought himself and reflected that he need not + leave home for a mistress, for that his wife’s maid was a very pretty, + young, and well-mannered girl, and he might manage to become her lover. + </p> + <p> + In short, by gifts and promises, he obtained the girl’s permission to do + whatever he wished, but there were difficulties in the way, for his wife, + knowing her husband’s character, always kept an eye upon him. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, Cupid, who always comes to the help of his true followers, + inspired his good and loyal worshipper with an idea by which he could + accomplish his ends; for he pretended to be very sick of a chill, and said + to his wife; + </p> + <p> + “My dear helpmate, come here! I am as ill as I can be; I must go to bed, + and I beg of you to make all the servants go to bed too, in order that + there may be no noise or disturbance, and then come to our chamber.” + </p> + <p> + The worthy woman, who was much vexed at her husband’s illness, did as she + was ordered, and took fair sheets and warmed them, and put them over her + husband after he was in bed. And when he had been well warmed for a long + time, he said. + </p> + <p> + “My dear, that will suffice. I am well enough now, thanks be to God and to + you for the trouble you have taken; and I beg of you to come and lie down + by my side.” + </p> + <p> + She only desired her husband’s health and repose, and did as she was + desired, and went to sleep as quickly as possible. As soon as he perceived + she was asleep, he slipped quietly out of bed, and went to the servant’s + bed, where he was well received, and broke so many lances that he was + tired and worn out, and dropped off to sleep in her fair arms. + </p> + <p> + It often happens that when we go to bed vexed or melancholy we are easily + awakened,—indeed that may be the cause of our waking, and so it + happened to the wife. And as she took great care of her husband, she put + out her hand to touch him, and discovered that he was not in the bed; and + on feeling the pillow and the place where he had been lying, she found + that they were cold, and that he had been out of bed a long time. + </p> + <p> + Then, in despair, she jumped out of bed and put on a chemise and a + petticoat, and said to herself; + </p> + <p> + “Idle and worthless wretch that you are, you have much to reproach + yourself with, for by your neglect you have let your husband die. Alas! + why did I come to bed to-night and fall asleep; O Virgin Mary! I pray that + nothing has happened to him through my fault, or I shall deem myself + guilty of his death.” + </p> + <p> + After these regrets and lamentations, she went off to seek a light, and in + order that the servant-maid might help her to find her lost husband, she + went to her room to arouse her, and there found the happy pair, asleep + locked in each other’s arms, and it seemed that they must have worked well + that night, for they were not awakened by her coming into the room or by + the light she carried. + </p> + <p> + She was glad that her husband was not as ill as she had feared or + expected; and went to seek her children and all the servants of the + household, and brought them to see the couple, and asked them in a low + voice, who that was in the maid’s bed, sleeping with her? And the children + replied that it was their father, and the servants that it was their + master. Then she led them out, and made them go to bed again, for it was + too early to get up, and she also went back to bed, but did not sleep + again till it was time to rise. + </p> + <p> + Soon after she had left the lovers, they woke up, and took leave of each + other amorously. The master returned to bed, to his wife’s side, without + saying a word, nor did she, but pretended to be asleep, at which he was + very glad, thinking that she knew nothing of his adventure, for he greatly + feared her, both for his peace and that of the girl. So he slept soundly, + and his wife, as soon as it was time to get up, rose, and to please her + husband, and give him something comforting after the laxative medicine + that he had taken that night, woke up her servants, and called her maid, + and told her to kill the two fattest capons in the fowl-house, and prepare + them nicely, and then go to the butcher and buy the best bit of beef she + could procure, and put it in water to make a good soup, as she well knew + how, for she was a capital cook. + </p> + <p> + The girl, who heartily desired to please her mistress and her master, the + one for love and the other from fear, said that she would willingly do all + that was commanded. + </p> + <p> + Then the wife went to Mass, and on her return passed by the house of her + son, of whom I have spoken, and asked him to come and dine with her + husband, and to bring with him three or four good fellows whom she named, + and whom she and her husband wished invited. + </p> + <p> + Then she returned home to see after the dinner, and found that her husband + had gone to church. Meanwhile, her son had gone round to invite the guests + his mother had named, and who were the greatest jokers in St. Omer. + </p> + <p> + The good man came back from Mass, and embraced his wife, and she did the + same to him, and, in order that he should not suspect anything, she said + that she rejoiced at his recovery, for which he thanked her, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Indeed I am in fairly good health, my dear, after last night, and I think + I have a very good appetite, so we will have dinner at once if you like.” + </p> + <p> + She replied, “I am very glad to hear, it but you must wait a little till + the dinner is ready; and until such and such people, whom I have invited + to dine with you, have arrived.” + </p> + <p> + “Invited!” said he, “and for what reason? I do not care about them and + would rather they stayed where they are; for they jest at everything, and + if they know I have been ill, they will tease me about it. At least, my + dear, let me beg of you to say nothing about it. And there is another + thing—what will they eat?” + </p> + <p> + She said he need not trouble about that; they would have enough to eat, + for she had dressed the two best capons, as well as a fine piece of beef, + and all in his honour, at which he was very glad, and said it was well + done. + </p> + <p> + Soon after came those who had been invited, and the woman’s son. And when + all was ready, they sat at the table and made good cheer, especially the + host, and they drank often one to another. + </p> + <p> + The host said to his stepson; + </p> + <p> + “John, my friend, drink with your mother, and enjoy yourself.” + </p> + <p> + And he replied that he would willingly do so; and when he drank to his + mother, the maid, who was waiting at table came into the room. + </p> + <p> + Then the wife called her, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Come here, my dear friend and companion! drink to me, and I will pledge + thee.” + </p> + <p> + “Friend and companion!” said the host. “What is the meaning of all this + affection? What mischief is brewing now? This is something new!” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, she is truly my honest and trusted companion! Why do you wonder + at that?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the devil, Joan! take care what you say! Any one would think there + was something between her and me.” + </p> + <p> + “And why should they not?” she said. “Did I not find you last night lying + in her bed, and sleeping in her arms?” + </p> + <p> + “In her bed?” he said. + </p> + <p> + “Truly, yes,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “On my honour, gentlemen, it is not true, and she only says so to spite + me, and bring shame on the poor girl, for she never saw me there.” + </p> + <p> + “The devil I did not!” she replied. “You shall hear the statement again + from those of your own household.” + </p> + <p> + With that she called the children, and the servants who were standing + there, and asked them if they had not seen their father lying with the + maid, and they answered, yes. + </p> + <p> + “You lie, you naughty boys,” replied their father. “Your mother told you + to say it.” + </p> + <p> + “Begging your pardon, father, we saw you there; and so did the servants.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that so?” asked the lady of the servants. + </p> + <p> + “That is quite true,” they replied. + </p> + <p> + Then all who were present laughed loudly, and teased him terribly, for his + wife related all about his pretended illness, and what he had done, and + how she had prepared the dinner and invited his friends in order to make + the story known, at which he was so ashamed that he hardly dared hold up + his head, and did not know what to reply except to say, + </p> + <p> + “Go on! you are all against me, so I will hold my tongue and let you have + your own way, for I can’t contend against the lot of you.” + </p> + <p> + Afterwards he ordered the table to be removed, and when grace was said, he + called his stepson and whispered to him; + </p> + <p> + “John, my friend, although the others accuse me, I know that you believe + me. See how much is owing to that poor girl, and pay her so liberally that + she will have no cause to complain, and send her away; for I know well + that your mother will never permit her to stay in the house.” + </p> + <p> + The stepson went and did as he was ordered, then he returned to the + friends whom he had brought, whom he found talking to his mother, then + they thanked her for their entertainment, and took leave and went. + </p> + <p> + The husband and wife remained at home, and it is to be supposed that he + did not hear the last of it for some time. For the poor husband did not + drain his cup of bitterness at the dinner-table, but found that the + proverb about dogs, hawks, war, and love, which says, “Every pleasure has + a thousand sorrows,” is true. But none should run the risk if they are not + prepared to pay the penalty. Thus did it happen that the adventure of this + worthy fellow ended in the manner related. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0036" id="linklinkimage-0036"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/60.jpg" width="100%" alt="60.jpg" + title="Three Very Minor Brothers. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0060" id="linklink2H_4_0060"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="60pg (137K)" src="images/60pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTIETH — THREE VERY MINOR BROTHERS. <a + href="#linklinknote-60" name="linklinknoteref-60" id="linklinknoteref-60">60</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Poncelet. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of three women of Malines, who were acquainted with three cordeliers, + and had their heads shaved, and donned the gown that they might not be + recognised, and how it was made known.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Formerly there were in the town of Malines three damsels, the wives of + three burghers of the town,—rich, powerful, and of good position, + who were in love with three Minor Friars; and to more secretly and + covertly manage their amours under the cloak of religion, they rose every + day an hour or two before dawn, and when it appeared a fit time to go and + see their lovers, they told their husbands they were going to matins to + the first Mass. + </p> + <p> + Owing to the great pleasure that they took in these exercises and the + monks also, it often happened that it was broad daylight, and they could + not leave the convent without being perceived by the other monks. + Therefore, fearing the great perils and inconveniences which might arise, + they arranged between them that each should wear a monk’s gown, and have a + tonsure made on her head, as though they belonged to the convent. So + finally one day that they were in the convent, and whilst their husbands + suspected nothing of it, a barber,—that is to say a monk belonging + to the convent—was sent for secretly to the cells of the three + brothers, and he cut a tonsure on the head of each. + </p> + <p> + And when the time came to leave, they put on the friars’ gowns with which + they were provided, and in that state returned to their respective homes, + and undressed, and left their disguise with certain discreet matrons, and + then returned to their husbands; and this continued for a long while, + without any person being aware of it. + </p> + <p> + But since it would have been a great pity that such excessive devotion + should not be known, fortune so willed that as on a certain day one of + these ladies was on her road to the accustomed haunt, her trick was + discovered, and she was caught in her disguise by her husband, who had + followed her, and who said: + </p> + <p> + “Good brother, I am glad to have met you! I would beg of you to return to + my house, for I have many things to say to you,” and with that he took her + back, at which she hardly felt joyful. + </p> + <p> + When they were in the house, the husband said, in a joking manner; + </p> + <p> + “My dear helpmate, can you swear on your honour that it is true piety, + which in the middle of winter, causes you to don the habit of St. Francis, + and have your head shaved like the good monks? Tell me the name of your + confessor, or by St. Francis you shall suffer for it,”—and he + pretended to draw his dagger. + </p> + <p> + The poor woman threw herself on her knees, and cried; + </p> + <p> + “Have mercy upon me, husband! for I have been led astray by bad + companions! I know that you could kill me if you liked, and that I have + not behaved as I should, but I am not the only one the monks have led + astray, and, if you promise that you will do nothing to me, I will tell + you all.” + </p> + <p> + To this her husband agreed; and then she told him how she often went to + the monastery with two of her cronies who were in love with two of the + monks, and they often breakfasted together in the monks’ cells. “A third + monk was in love with me,” she continued, “and made such humble and + impassioned requests to me that I could not excuse myself, and by the + instigation and example of my companions, I did as they did, they all + saying that we should have a good time together, and no one would know + about it.” + </p> + <p> + Then the husband demanded the names of her female friends, and she told + him. He was acquainted with their husbands, and they had often eaten and + drunk together. Finally, he asked who was the barber, and the names of the + three monks. + </p> + <p> + The good husband, after considering all things, and moved by the piteous + groans and sad regrets of his wife, said; + </p> + <p> + “Take care that you tell no one that you have spoken to me on this matter, + and I promise you that I will do you no harm.” + </p> + <p> + She promised that she would do whatever he wished. With that he went away + at once, and invited to dinner the two husbands and their wives, the three + Cordeliers, and the barber, and they all promised to come. + </p> + <p> + The next day they all came, and sat at table, and enjoyed themselves + without expecting any bad news. After the table was removed, they had many + joyous jests and devices to discover who should pay scot for all, and as + they could not agree, the host said; + </p> + <p> + “Since we cannot agree as to who is to pay the reckoning, I will tell you + what we will do. The one who has the baldest crown to his head shall pay—of + course excluding these good monks, who pay nothing—at present.” + </p> + <p> + To which they all agreed, and were content that it should be thus, and + that the barber should be the judge. And when all the men had shown their + heads, the host said that they ought to look at their wives’ heads. + </p> + <p> + It need not be asked if there were not some there present who felt their + hearts sink within them. Without an instant’s delay, the host uncovered + his wife’s head, and when he saw the tonsure he pretended to admire it + greatly, pretending that he knew nothing about it, and said, + </p> + <p> + “We must see if the others are the same.” + </p> + <p> + Then their husbands made them remove their head-dresses, and they were + found to be tonsured like the first one, at which the men were not best + pleased, notwithstanding that they laughed loudly, and declared that the + question had been settled, and that it was for their wives to pay the + reckoning. + </p> + <p> + But they wished to know how these tonsures came there, and the host, + rejoicing to be able to divulge such a secret, related the whole affair, + on condition that they would pardon their wives this time, after they had + been witnesses of the penance the good monks were to undergo in their + presence,—and to this both husbands agreed. + </p> + <p> + Then the host caused four or five sturdy varlets to come out of a chamber + near by, and they, knowing what they had to do, seized the worthy monks + and gave them as many blows as they could find room for on their + shoulders, and then turned them out of the house. The others remained for + a certain space, and it is to be supposed that a good deal of conversation + passed between them, but as it would take too long to recount, I pass it + over here, for the sake of brevity. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0037" id="linklinkimage-0037"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/61.jpg" width="100%" alt="61.jpg" + title="Cuckolded--and Duped. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0061" id="linklink2H_4_0061"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="61pg (134K)" src="images/61pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-FIRST — CUCKOLDED—AND DUPED. <a + href="#linklinknote-61" name="linklinknoteref-61" id="linklinknoteref-61">61</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Poncelet. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a merchant who locked up in a bin his wife’s lover, and she + secretly put an ass there which caused her husband to be covered with + confusion.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It happened once that in a large town of Hainault there lived a good + merchant married to a worthy woman. He travelled much, to buy and sell his + merchandise, and this caused his wife to have a lover in his absence, and + this continued for a long time. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, the secret was at last discovered by a neighbour, who was a + relative of the husband, and lived opposite the merchant’s house, and who + often saw a gallant enter the merchant’s house at night and leave in the + morning. Which matter was brought to the knowledge of the person to whose + prejudice it was, by this neighbour. + </p> + <p> + The merchant was much vexed, nevertheless he thanked his relative and + neighbour, and said that he would shortly see into the matter, and for + that purpose would shut himself up one night in his neighbour’s house, + that he might see if anyone visited his wife. + </p> + <p> + Lastly, he pretended to start on a journey, and told his wife and his + servants that he did not know when he should return. He started in the + early morning, but returned the same evening, and having left his horse at + some house, came secretly to his cousin, and peeped through a little + lattice, expecting to see that which would hardly have pleased him. + </p> + <p> + He waited till about nine o’clock, when the gallant, whom the damsel had + informed that her husband was away, passed once or twice before his + lady-love’s house, and looked at the door to see if he might enter, but + found it closed. He guessed that it was not yet time, and whilst he + strolled about waiting, the good merchant, who thought that this was the + man he wanted, came down, and went to his door, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Friend, the lady heard you, and as she is afraid that the master may come + back, she sent me down to let you in, if you please.” + </p> + <p> + The gallant, thinking it was the servant, followed him, the door was + opened gently, and he was conducted into a chamber in which there was a + large bin, which the merchant unlocked and made the young man enter, that + he should not be discovered if the husband returned. “My mistress will + come and talk to you and let you out,” added the merchant as he turned the + key in the lock. + </p> + <p> + The gallant suffered all this for the sake of what was to follow, and + because he believed that the other spoke the truth. + </p> + <p> + Then the merchant started off at once as quickly as he could, and went to + the cousin and his wife, and said to them: + </p> + <p> + “The rat is caught; but now we must consider what to do.” + </p> + <p> + The cousin, and more particularly his wife—for there was no love + lost between the two women—were very glad to hear this, and said + that it would be best for him to show the gallant to all his wife’s + relations in order that they might know how she conducted herself. + </p> + <p> + This being determined on, the merchant went to the house of his wife’s + father and mother, and told them that if ever they wished to see their + daughter alive they must come at once to his house. + </p> + <p> + They jumped up at once, and, whilst they were preparing, he also went off + to two of her brothers and her sisters, and told them the same thing. Then + he took them all to the cousin’s house, and related the whole history, and + how the rat had been caught. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know what the gallant did in the bin all the time, until he + was luckily released. The damsel, who wondered greatly that her lover did + not come, went backwards and forwards to the door, to see if he were + coming. The young man, who heard her pass close to him without ever + speaking to him, began to thump with his fist on the side of the bin. The + damsel heard it, and was greatly frightened; nevertheless she asked who + was there, and the gallant replied; + </p> + <p> + “Alas, my dearest love, I am dying here of heat and doubt, for I am much + surprised that I have been shut in here, and that no one has yet come to + me.” + </p> + <p> + “Virgin Mary! who can have put you there, my dear?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath I know not,” he replied; “but your varlet came to me and told + me that you had asked him to bring me into the house, and that I was to + get into this bin, that the husband might not find me if by chance he + should come back to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said she, “by my life that must have been my husband. I am a lost + woman; and our secret has been discovered.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know what is to be done?” he said. “In the first place you must + let me out, or I will break everything, for I can no longer endure being + shut up.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said the damsel, “I have not the key; and if you break + through, I am undone, for my husband will say that I did it to save you.” + </p> + <p> + Finally, the damsel searched about, and found a lot of old keys, amongst + which was one that delivered the poor captive. As soon as he was out, he + tumbled the lady, to show her what a grudge he had against her, which she + bore patiently. After that her lover would have left her, but the damsel + hung round his neck, and told him that if he went away like that, she + would be as much dishonoured as though he had broken out of the bin. + </p> + <p> + “What is to be done then?” said the gallant. + </p> + <p> + “We must put something there for my husband to find, or he will think that + I have let you out.” + </p> + <p> + “And what shall we put there?” asked the lover. “For it is time for me to + go.” + </p> + <p> + “We have in the stable,” she said, “an ass, that we will put in if you + will help me.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, I will,” he answered. + </p> + <p> + The ass was driven into the bin, and it was locked again, and then her + lover took leave of her with a sweet kiss, and left by a back-door, whilst + the damsel quickly got into bed. + </p> + <p> + Whilst these things were happening, her husband had assembled all his + wife’s relatives, and brought them to his cousin’s house, as has been + said, where he informed them of what he had done, and how he had caught + the gallant, and had him under lock and key. + </p> + <p> + “And in order that you shall not say,” he added, “that I blame your + daughter without cause, you shall both see and touch the scoundrel who has + done us this dishonour, and I beg that he may be killed before he can get + away.” + </p> + <p> + Every one present declared that it should be so. + </p> + <p> + “And then,” said the merchant, “I will send you back your daughter for + such as she is.” + </p> + <p> + With that they all accompanied him, though sorrowing much at the news, and + they took with them torches and flambeaux, so as to be better able to + search, and that nothing should escape them. + </p> + <p> + They knocked so loudly that the damsel came before anyone else in the + house was awakened, and opened the door, and when they had come in, she + abused her husband, her father, her mother, and the others, and declared + that she wondered greatly what could have brought them all at that hour of + the night. At these words her husband stepped forward, and gave her a good + buffet, and said, + </p> + <p> + “You shall know soon enough, false such and such that you are.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! take care what you say. Was it for that you brought my father and + mother here?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said the mother, “false wench that you are. We will drag forth your + paramour directly.” + </p> + <p> + And her sisters said, + </p> + <p> + “By God, sister you did not learn at home to behave like this.” + </p> + <p> + “Sisters,” she replied, “by all the saints of Rome, I have done nothing + that a good woman should not do. I should like to see anyone prove the + contrary.” + </p> + <p> + “You lie!” said her husband. “I can prove it at once, and the rascal shall + be killed in your presence. Up quickly! and open me this bin.” + </p> + <p> + “I?” she replied. “In truth I think you must be dreaming, or out of your + senses, for you know well that I have never had the key, but that it hangs + at your belt along with the others, ever since the time that you locked up + your goods. If you want to open it, open it. But I pray to God that, as + truly as I have never kept company with whoever is in that box, that He + will deliver me, to my great joy, and that the evil spite that you have + against me may be clearly proved and demonstrated—and I have full + hope and confidence that it will be so.” + </p> + <p> + “And I hope,” said her husband, addressing the crowd, “that you will see + her on her knees, weeping and groaning, and squalling like a drenched cat. + She would deceive anybody who was fool enough to believe her, but I have + suspected her for a long time past. Now I am going to unlock the bin, and + I beg you, gentlemen, to lay hands on the scoundrel, that he escape us + not, for he is strong and bold.” + </p> + <p> + “Have no fear!” they cried in chorus. “We will give a good account of + him.” + </p> + <p> + “With that they drew their swords, and brandished their hammers to knock + down the poor lover, and they shouted to him, + </p> + <p> + “Confess your sins! for you will never have a priest nearer you.” + </p> + <p> + The mother and sisters, not wishing to witness the murder, drew on one + side, and then the good man opened the bin, and as soon as the ass saw the + light, it began to bray so hideously that the boldest person there was + affrighted. + </p> + <p> + And when they saw that it was an ass, and that they had been befooled, + they cursed the merchant, and showered more abuse on him than ever St. + Peter had praise, and even the women inveighed against him. In fact, if he + had not fled, his wife’s brothers would have killed him, in revenge for + the blame and dishonour he had wrongly tried to bring on the family. + </p> + <p> + There was such ado between him and his wife’s family that peace had to be + made between them by the chief burghers of the town, and this was not + effected without much trouble, and many demands on the part of her + friends, and many strict promises on his part. But ever after that he was + all kindness and consideration, and never did a man conduct himself better + to his wife than he did all his life; and thus they passed their days + together. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0038" id="linklinkimage-0038"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/62.jpg" width="100%" alt="62.jpg" title="The Lost Ring. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0062" id="linklink2H_4_0062"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="62pg (135K)" src="images/62pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-SECOND — THE LOST RING. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Commesuram. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of two friends, one of whom left a diamond in the bed of his hostess, + where the other found it, from which there arose a great discussion + between them, which the husband of the said hostess settled in an + effectual manner.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + About the month of July (*) a great meeting and assembly was held between + Calais and Gravelines, and near the castle of Oye, at which were assembled + many princes and great lords, both of France and of England, to consider + the question of the ransom of the Duke of Orléans, (**) then prisoner to + the king of England. Amongst the English representatives was the Cardinal + of Winchester, who had come to the said assembly in great and noble state, + with many knights, and squires and ecclesiastics. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) 1440. + + (**) Charles, Duke of Orléans, was taken prisoner at the + battle of Agincourt in 1415, and, as his ransom was not + forthcoming was detained a captive for 25 years, when the + Duke and Duchess of Burgundy intervened to procure his + freedom. Cardinal Beaufort, Bishop of Winchester, accepted a + ransom of 200,000 gold crowns, payment of which was + guaranteed by the Dauphin of France, Duke Philip of + Burgundy, and other princes, with the consent of the King of + France. The agreement was signed 22 Nov. 1440. +</pre> + <p> + And amongst the other noblemen were two named John Stockton, squire, and + carver, and Thomas Brampton, cup-bearer to the said Cardinal—which + said John and Thomas loved each other like two brothers, for their + clothes, harness, and arms were always as nearly alike as possible, and + they usually shared the same room and the said bed, and never was there + heard any quarrel, dispute, or misunderstanding between them. + </p> + <p> + When the said Cardinal arrived at the said town of Calais, there was hired + for him to lodge the said noblemen, the house of Richard Fery, which is + the largest house in the town of Calais, and it is the custom of all great + lords passing through the town to lodge there. + </p> + <p> + The said Richard was married to a Dutchwoman; who was beautiful, + courteous, and well accustomed to receive guests. + </p> + <p> + While the treaty was being discussed, which was for more than two months, + John Stockton and Thomas Brampton, who were both of the age of 26 or 28 + years, wore bright crimson clothes, (*) and were ready for feats of arms + by night or day—during this time, I say, notwithstanding the + intimacy and friendship which existed between these two brothers-in-arms, + the said John Stockton, unknown to the said Thomas, found means to visit + their hostess, and often conversed with her, and paid her many of those + attentions customary in love affairs, and finally was emboldened to ask + the said hostess if he might be her friend, and she would be his + lady-love. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Shakespeare several times in the course of the First + Part of Henry VI mentions “the tawny robes of Winchester.” + Which is right? +</pre> + <p> + To which, as though pretending to be astonished at such a request, she + replied coldly that she did not hate him, or anyone, nor wish to, but that + she loved all the world as far as in honour she could, but if she rightly + understood his request, she could not comply with it without great danger + of dishonour and scandal, and perhaps risk to her life, and for nothing in + the world would she consent thereto. + </p> + <p> + John replied that she might very well grant his request, for that he would + rather perish, and be tormented in the other world, than that she should + be dishonoured by any fault of his, and that she was in no wise to suspect + that her honour would not be safe in his keeping, and he again begged her + to grant him this favour, and always deem him her servant and loving + friend. + </p> + <p> + She pretended to tremble, and replied that truly he made all the blood + freeze in her veins, such fear and dread had she of doing that which he + asked. Then he approached her and requested a kiss, which the ladies and + damsels of the said country of England are ready enough to grant, (*) and + kissing her, begged her tenderly not to be afraid, for no person living + should ever be made acquainted with what passed between them. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Is this a libel on the English ladies of the 16th + century, or is it true—as Bibliophile Jacob asserts in the + foot-note to this passage—that “English prudery is a + daughter of the Reformation?” + </pre> + <p> + Then she said; + </p> + <p> + “I see that there is no escape, and that I must do as you wish, and as + this must be so, in order to guard my honour, let me tell you that a + regulation has been made by all the lords now living in Calais that every + householder shall watch one night a week on the town walls. But as my + husband has done so much, either himself or by his friends, for the lords + and noblemen of the Cardinal, your master, who lodge here, he has only to + watch half the night, and he will do so on Thursday next, from the time + the bell rings in the evening until midnight; and whilst my husband is + away on his watch, if you have anything to say to me, you will find me in + my chamber, quite willing to listen to you, and along with my maid;”—who + was quite ready to perform whatever her mistress wished. + </p> + <p> + John Stockton was much pleased with this answer, and thanked his hostess, + and told her that it would not be his fault if he did not come at the + appointed hour. + </p> + <p> + This conversation took place on the Monday, after dinner. But it should + here be stated that Thomas Brampton had, unknown to his friend John + Stockton, made similar requests to their hostess, but she would not grant + his desire, but now raised his hopes and then dashed them to the ground, + saying that he must have but a poor idea of her virtue, and that, if she + did what he wished, she was sure that her husband and his relations and + friends would take her life. + </p> + <p> + To this Thomas replied; + </p> + <p> + “My beloved mistress and hostess, I am a nobleman, and for no + consideration would I bring upon you blame or dishonour, or I should be + unworthy of the name of a gentleman. Believe me, that I would guard your + honour as I do my own, and would rather die than reveal your secret; and + that there is no friend or other person in the world, however dear to me, + to whom I would relate our love-affair.” + </p> + <p> + She, therefore, noting the great affection and desire of the said Thomas, + told him, on the Wednesday following the day on which she had given John + the gracious reply recorded above—that, as he had a great desire to + do her any service, she would not be so ungrateful as not to repay him. + And then she told him how it was arranged that her husband should watch + the morrow night, like the other chief householders of the town, in + compliance with the regulation made by the lords then staying in Calais. + But as—thank God—her husband had powerful friends to speak to + the Cardinal for him, he had only to watch half the night, that is to say + from midnight till the morning, and that if Thomas wished to speak to her + during that time, she would gladly hear him, but, for God’s sake let him + come so secretly that no blame could attach to her. + </p> + <p> + Thomas replied that he desired nothing better, and with that he took leave + of her. + </p> + <p> + On the morrow, which was Thursday, at vespers, after the bell had rung for + the watch, John Stockton did not forget to appear at the hour his hostess + had appointed. He went to her chamber, and found her there quite alone, + and she received him and made him welcome, for the table was laid. + </p> + <p> + John requested that he might sup with her, that they might the better talk + together,—which she would not at first grant, saying that it might + cause scandal if he were found with her. But she finally gave way, and the + supper—which seemed to John to take a long time—being + finished, he embraced his hostess, and they enjoyed themselves together, + both naked. + </p> + <p> + Before he entered the chamber, he had put on one of his fingers, a gold + ring set with a large fine diamond, of the value of, perhaps, thirty + nobles. And in playing together, the ring slipped from his finger in the + bed without his knowing it. + </p> + <p> + When it was about 11 o’clock, the damsel begged him kindly to dress and + leave, that he might not be found by her husband, whom she expected as + soon as midnight sounded, and that he would guard her honour as he had + promised. + </p> + <p> + He, supposing that her husband would return soon, rose, dressed, and left + the chamber as soon as the clock struck twelve, and without remembering + the diamond he had left in the bed. + </p> + <p> + Not far from the door of the chamber John Stockton met Thomas Brampton, + whom he mistook for his host, Richard. Thomas,—who had come at the + hour the lady appointed,—made a similar mistake, and took John + Stockton for Richard, and waited a few moments to see which way he would + go. + </p> + <p> + Having watched the other disappear, Thomas went to the chamber, found the + door ajar, and entered. The lady pretended to be much frightened and + alarmed, and asked Thomas, with doubt and fear, whether he had met her + husband who had just left to join the watch? He replied that he had met a + man, but did not know whether it was her husband or another, and had + waited a little in order to see which way he would go. + </p> + <p> + When she heard this, she kissed him boldly, and told him he was welcome, + and Thomas, without more ado, laid her on the bed and tumbled her. When + she found what manner of man he was, she made haste to undress, and he + also, and they both got into bed, and sacrificed to the god of love, and + broke several lances. + </p> + <p> + But in performing these feats, Thomas met with an adventure, for he + suddenly felt under his thigh, the diamond that John Stockton had left + there, and without saying anything, or evincing any surprise, he picked it + up, and put it on his finger. + </p> + <p> + They remained together until the morning, when the watch bell was about to + ring, when, at the request of the damsel he rose, but before he left they + embraced with a long, loving kiss. He had scarcely gone when Richard came + off the watch, on which he had been all night, very cold and sleepy, and + found his wife just getting up. She made him a fire, and then he went to + bed, for he had worked all night,—and so had his wife though not in + the same fashion. + </p> + <p> + It is the custom of the English, after they have heard Mass, to breakfast + at a tavern, with the best wine; and about two days after these events, + John and Thomas were in a company of other gentlemen and merchants, who + were breakfasting together, and Stockton and Brampton were seated opposite + each other. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were eating, John looked at Thomas, and saw on one of his + fingers the diamond. He gazed at it a long time, and came to the + conclusion that it was the ring he had lost, he did not know where or + when, and he begged Thomas to show him the diamond, who accordingly handed + it to him, and when he had it in his hand he saw that it was his own, and + told Thomas so, and asked him how he came by it. To this Thomas replied + that it belonged to <i>him</i>. Stockton maintained, on the contrary, that + he had lost it but a short time before, and that if Thomas had found it in + the chamber where they slept, it was not right of him to keep it, + considering the affection and fraternity which had always existed between + them. High words ensued, and both were angry and indignant with each + other. + </p> + <p> + Thomas wished to get the diamond back, but could not obtain it. When the + other gentlemen and merchants heard the dispute, all tried to bring about + a reconciliation, but it was no good, for he who had lost the diamond + would not let it out of his hands, and he who had found it wanted it back, + as a memento of his love-encounter with his mistress, so that it was + difficult to settle the dispute. + </p> + <p> + Finally, one of the merchants, seeing that all attempts to make up the + quarrel were useless, said that he had hit upon a plan with which both + John and Thomas ought to be satisfied, but he would not say what it was + unless both parties promised, under a penalty of ten nobles, to abide by + what he said. All the company declared that the merchant had spoken well, + and persuaded John and Thomas to abide by this decision, which they at + last consented to do. + </p> + <p> + The merchant ordered the diamond to be placed in his hands, then that all + those who had tried to settle the difference should be silent, and that + they should leave the house where they were, and the first man they met, + whatever his rank or condition should be told the whole matter of the + dispute between the said John and Thomas, and, whatever he decided, his + verdict should be accepted without demur by both parties. + </p> + <p> + Thereupon all the company left the house, and the first person they met + was Richard, the host of both disputants, to whom the merchant narrated + the whole of the dispute. + </p> + <p> + Richard—after he had heard all, and had asked those, who were + present if the account was correct, and the two were unwilling to let this + dispute be settled by so many notable persons,—delivered his verdict—namely + that the diamond should remain his, and that neither of the parties should + have it. + </p> + <p> + When Thomas saw himself deprived of the diamond he had found, he was much + vexed; and most probably so also was John Stockton, who had lost it. + </p> + <p> + Then Thomas requested all the company, except their host, to return to the + house where they had breakfasted, and he would give them a dinner in order + that they might hear how the diamond had come into his hands, to which + they all agreed. And whilst the dinner was being prepared, he related the + conversation he had had with his hostess, how she had appointed him an + hour for him to visit her, whilst her husband was out with the watch, and + how the diamond was found. + </p> + <p> + When John Stockton heard this he was astonished, and declared that exactly + the same had occurred to him, and on the same night, and that he was + convinced that he must have dropped his diamond where Thomas had found it, + and that it was far worse for him to lose it than it was for Thomas, for + it had cost him dear, whereas Thomas had lost nothing. + </p> + <p> + To which Thomas replied that he ought not to complain that their host had + adjudged it to be his, considering what their hostess had had to suffer, + and that he (John) had had first innings, whilst Thomas had had to act as + his page or squire, and come after him. + </p> + <p> + So John Stockton was tolerably reconciled to the loss of his ring, since + he could not otherwise help it. And all those who were present laughed + loudly at the story of this adventure; and after they had all dined, each + returned whithersoever he wished. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0063" id="linklink2H_4_0063"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="63pg (142K)" src="images/63pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-THIRD — MONTBLERU; OR THE THIEF. <a + href="#linklinknote-63" name="linklinknoteref-63" id="linklinknoteref-63">63</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By G. De Montbleru. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of one named Montbleru, who at a fair at Antwerp stole from his + companions their shirts and handkerchiefs, which they had given to the + servant-maid of their hostess to be washed; and how afterwards they + pardoned the thief, and then the said Montbleru told them the whole of + the story.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Montbleru found himself about two years ago at the fair of Antwerp, in the + company of Monseigneur d’Estampes, who paid all his expenses—which + was much to the liking of Montbleru. + </p> + <p> + One day amongst others, by chance he met Masters Ymbert de Playne, Roland + Pipe, and Jehan Le Tourneur, who were having a merry time; and as he is + pleasant and obliging, as everyone knows, they desired his company, and + begged him to come and lodge with them, and then they would have a merrier + time than ever. + </p> + <p> + Montbleru at first excused himself, on the ground that he ought not to + quit Monseigneur d’Estampes who had brought him there; + </p> + <p> + “And there is a very good reason,” he said, “for he pays all my expenses.” + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, he was willing to leave Monseigneur d’Estampes if the others + would pay his expenses, and they, who desired nothing better than his + company, willingly and heartily agreed to this. And now hear how he paid + them out. + </p> + <p> + These three worthy lords, Masters Ymbert, Roland, and Jehan Le Tourneur, + stayed at Antwerp longer than they expected when they left Court, and each + had brought but one shirt, and these and their handkerchiefs etc. became + dirty, which was a great inconvenience to them, for the weather was very + hot, it being Pentecost. So they gave them to the servant-maid at their + lodgings to wash, one Saturday night when they went to bed, and they were + to have them clean the following morning when they rose. + </p> + <p> + But Montbleru was on the watch. When the morning came, the maid, who had + washed the shirts and handkerchiefs, and dried them, and folded them + neatly and nicely, was called away by her mistress to go to the butcher to + seek provisions for the dinner. She did as her mistress ordered, and left + all these clothes in the kitchen, on a stool, expecting to find them on + her return, but in this she was disappointed, for Montbleru, when he awoke + and saw it was day, got out of bed, and putting on a dressing gown over + his shirt, went downstairs. + </p> + <p> + He went into the kitchen, where there was not a living soul, but only the + shirts, handkerchiefs, and other articles, asking to be taken. Montbleru + saw his opportunity, and took them, but was much puzzled to know where he + could hide them. Once he thought of putting them amongst the big copper + pots and pans which were in the kitchen; then of hiding them up his + sleeve; but finally he concealed them in the hay in the stable, with a big + heap of straw on the top, and that being done, he returned to bed and lay + down by the side of Jehan Le Tourneur. + </p> + <p> + When the servant maid came back from the butcher’s, she could not find the + shirts, at which she was much vexed, and she asked everybody she met if + they had seen them? They all told her they knew nothing about them, and + God knows what a time she had. Then came the servants of these worthy + lords, who expected the shirts and were afraid to go to their masters + without them, and grew angry because the shirts could not be found, and so + did the host, and the hostess, and the maid. + </p> + <p> + When it was about nine o’clock, these good lords called their servants, + but none of them answered, for they were afraid to tell their masters + about the loss of their shirts; but at last, however, when it was between + 11 and 12 o’clock, the host came, and the servants, and told the gentlemen + how their shirts had been stolen, at which news two of them—Masters + Ymbert and Roland—lost patience, but Jehan Le Tourneur took it + easily, and did nothing but laugh, and called Montbleru, who pretended to + be asleep, but who heard and knew all, and said to him, + </p> + <p> + “Montbleru, we are all in a nice mess. They have stolen our shirts.” + </p> + <p> + “Holy Mary! what do you say?” replied Montbleru, pretending to be only + just awake. “That is bad news.” + </p> + <p> + When they had discussed the robbery of their shirts for a long time—Montbleru + well knew who was the thief—these worthy lords said; + </p> + <p> + “It is late, and we have not yet heard Mass, and it is Sunday, and we + cannot very well go without a shirt. What is to be done?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath!” said the host, “I know of nothing better than to lend you + each one of my shirts, such as they are. They are not as good as yours, + but they are clean, and there is nothing better to be done.” + </p> + <p> + They were obliged to take their host’s shirts which were too short and too + small, and made of hard, rough linen, and God knows they were a pretty + sight in them. + </p> + <p> + They were soon ready, thank God, but it was so late that they did not know + where they could hear Mass. Then said Montbleru, in his familiar way, + </p> + <p> + “As for hearing Mass, it is too late to-day; but I know a church in this + town where at least, we shall not fail to see God.” + </p> + <p> + “That is better than nothing,” said the worthy lords. “Come, come! let us + get away, for it is very late, and to lose our shirts, and not to hear + Mass to-day would be a double misfortune; and it is time we went to church + if we want to hear Mass.” + </p> + <p> + Montbleru took them to the principal church in Antwerp, where there is a + God on an ass (*). + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A picture or bas-relief, representing Christ’s entry + into Jerusalem, is probably meant. +</pre> + <p> + When they had each said a paternoster, they said to Montbleru, “Where + shall we see God?” + </p> + <p> + “I will show you,” he replied. Then he showed them God mounted on an ass, + and added, “You will never fail to find Him here at whatever hour you + come.” + </p> + <p> + They began to laugh in spite of the discomfort their shirts caused them. + Then they went back to dinner, and were after that I know not how many + days at Antwerp, and left without their shirts, for Montbleru had hidden + them in a safe place, and afterwards sold them for five gold crowns. + </p> + <p> + Now God so willed that in the first week of Lent, Montbleru was at dinner + with the three worthy gentlemen before named, and in the course of his + talk he reminded them of the shirts they had lost at Antwerp, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Alas, the poor thief who robbed you will be damned for that, unless God + and you pardon him. Do you bear him any ill-will?” + </p> + <p> + “By God!” said Master Ymbert, “my dear sir, I have thought no more about + it,—I had forgotten it long since.” + </p> + <p> + “At least,” said Montbleru, “you pardon him, do you not?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” he replied, “I would not have him damned for my sake.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, that is well said,” answered Montbleru. “And you Master + Roland,—do you also pardon him?” + </p> + <p> + After a good deal of trouble, he agreed to pardon the thief, but as the + theft rankled in his mind, he found the word hard to pronounce. + </p> + <p> + “And will you also pardon him, Master Roland?” said Montbleru. “What will + you gain by having a poor thief damned for a wretched shirt and + handkerchief?” + </p> + <p> + “Truly I pardon him,” said he. “He is quit as far as I am concerned, since + there is nothing else to be done.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, you are a good man,” said Montbleru. + </p> + <p> + Then came the turn of Jehan Le Tourneur. Montbleru said to him, + </p> + <p> + “Now, Jehan, you will not be worse than the others. Everything will be + pardoned to this poor stealer of shirts unless you object.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t object,” he replied. “I have long since pardoned him, and I will + give him absolution into the bargain.” + </p> + <p> + “You could not say more,” rejoined Montbleru, “and by my oath I am greatly + obliged to you for having pardoned the thief who stole your shirts, as far + as I personally am concerned, for I am the thief who stole your shirts at + Antwerp. So I profit by your free pardon, and thank you for it, as I ought + to do.” + </p> + <p> + When Montbleru confessed this theft, and had been forgiven by all the + party as you have heard, it need not be asked if Masters Ymbert, Roland, + and Jehan Le Tourneur were astonished, for they had never suspected that + it was Montbleru who had played that trick upon them, and they reproached + him playfully with the theft. But he, knowing his company, excused himself + cleverly for having played such a joke upon them, and told them that it + was his custom to take whatever he found unprotected,—especially + with people like them. + </p> + <p> + They only laughed, but asked him how he had managed to effect the theft, + and he told them the whole story, and said also that he had made five + crowns out of his booty, after which they asked him no more. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0064" id="linklink2H_4_0064"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="64pg (133K)" src="images/64pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-FOURTH — THE OVER-CUNNING CURÉ. <a + href="#linklinknote-64" name="linklinknoteref-64" id="linklinknoteref-64">64</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Michault De Changy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a priest who would have played a joke upon a gelder named + Trenche-couille, but, by the connivance of his host, was himself + castrated.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + There formerly lived in this country, in a place that I have a good reason + for not mentioning (if any should recognise it, let him be silent as I am) + a curé who was over-fond of confessing his female parishioners. In fact, + there was not one who had not had to do with him, especially the young + ones—for the old he did not care. + </p> + <p> + When he had long carried on this holy life and virtuous exercise, and his + fame had spread through all the country round, he was punished in the way + that you will hear, by one of his parishioners, to whom, however, he had + done nothing concerning his wife. + </p> + <p> + He was one day at dinner, and enjoying himself, at the inn kept by his + parishioner, and as they were in the midst of their dinner, there came a + man named Trenchecouille, whose business it was to cut cattle, pull teeth, + and other matters, and who had come to the inn for one of these purposes. + </p> + <p> + The host received him well, and asked him to sit down, and, without being + much pressed, he sat down with the curé and the others, to eat. + </p> + <p> + The curé, who was a great joker, began to talk to this gelder and asked + him a hundred thousand questions about his business, and the gelder + replied as he best could. + </p> + <p> + At the end, the curé turned to the host, and whispered in his ear, + </p> + <p> + “Shall we play a trick upon this gelder?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes, let us,” replied the host. “But how shall we do it?” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said the curé, “we will play him a pretty trick, if you will + help me.” + </p> + <p> + “I am quite willing,” replied the host. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you what we will do,” said the curé. “I will pretend to have + a pain in the testicle, and bargain with him to cut it out; then I will be + bound and laid on the table all ready, and when he comes near to cut me, I + will jump up and show him my backside.” + </p> + <p> + “That is well said,” replied my host, who at once saw what he had to do. + “We shall never hit on anything better. We will all help you with the + joke.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said the curé. + </p> + <p> + After this the curé began again to rally the gelder, and at last told him + that he had want of a man like him, for that he had a testicle all + diseased and rotten, and would like to find a man who would extract it, + and he said it so quietly and calmly that the gelder believed him, and + replied; + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur le curé, I would have you know that without either disparaging + myself or boasting, there is not a man in this country who can do the job + better than I can, and for the sake of the host here, I will do my best to + satisfy you.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly, that is well said;” replied the curé. + </p> + <p> + In short, all was agreed, and when the dinner had been removed, the gelder + began to make his preparations, and on the other hand the curé prepared to + play the practical joke, (which was to turn out no joke for him) and told + the host and the others what they were to do. + </p> + <p> + Whilst these preparations were being made on both sides, the host went to + the gelder, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Take care, and, whatever the priest may say, cut out both his testicles, + clean,—and fail not, if you value your carcass.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. Martin, I will,” replied the gelder, “since you wish it. I have + ready a knife so sharp that I will present you with his testicles before + he has time to say a word.” + </p> + <p> + “We shall see what you can do,” said the host, “but if you fail, I will + never again have anything to do with you.” + </p> + <p> + All being ready, the table was brought, and the curé, in his doublet, + pretended to be in great pain, and promised a bottle of good wine to the + gelder. + </p> + <p> + The host and his servants laid hold of the curé so that he could not get + away, and for better security they tied him tightly, and told him that was + to make the joke better, and that they would let him go when he wished, + and he like a fool believed them. Then came the brave gelder, having a + little rasor concealed in his hand, and began to feel the cure’s + testicles. + </p> + <p> + “In the devil’s name,” said the curé, “do it well and with one cut. Touch + them first as you can, and afterwards I will tell you which one I want + taken out.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” he replied, and lifting up the shirt, took hold of the + testicles, which were big and heavy and without enquiring which was the + bad one, cut them both out at a single stroke. + </p> + <p> + The good curé began to yell, and make more ado than ever man made. + </p> + <p> + “Hallo, hallo!” said the host; “have patience. What is done, is done. Let + us bandage you up.” + </p> + <p> + The gelder did all that was necessary, and then went away, expecting a + handsome present from the host. + </p> + <p> + It need not be said that the curé was much grieved at this deprivation, + and he reviled the host, who was the cause of the mischief, but God knows + he excused himself well, and said that if the gelder had not disappeared + so quickly, he would have served him so that he would never have cut any + one again. + </p> + <p> + “As you imagine,” he said, “I am greatly grieved at your misfortune, and + still more that it should have happened in my inn.” + </p> + <p> + The news soon spread through the town, and it need not be said that many + damsels were vexed to find themselves deprived of the cure’s instrument, + but on the other hand the long-suffering husbands were so happy that I + could neither speak nor write the tenth part of their joy. + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, was the curé, who had deceived and duped so many + others, punished. Never after that did he dare to show himself amongst + men, but soon afterwards ended in grief and seclusion his miserable life. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0039" id="linklinkimage-0039"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/65.jpg" width="100%" alt="65.jpg" + title=" Indiscretion Reproved, But Not Punished. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0065" id="linklink2H_4_0065"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="65pg (139K)" src="images/65pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-FIFTH — INDISCRETION REPROVED, BUT NOT PUNISHED. + </h2> + <h3> + By The Provost Of Wastennes. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a woman who heard her husband say that an innkeeper at Mont St. + Michel was excellent at copulating, so went there, hoping to try for + herself, but her husband took means to prevent it, at which she was much + displeased, as you will hear shortly.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Often a man says things for which he is sorry afterwards, and so it + happened formerly that a good fellow who lived in a village near Mont St. + Michel, talked one night at a supper, at which were present his wife, and + several strangers and neighbours, of an inn-keeper of Mont St. Michel, and + declared, affirmed, and swore on his honour, that this inn-keeper had the + finest, biggest, and thickest member in all the country round, and could + use it so well that four, five, or six times cost him no more trouble than + taking off his hat. All those who were at table listened to this + favourable account of the prowess of mine host of Mont St. Michel, and + made what remarks they pleased about it, but the person who took the most + notice was the lady of the house, the wife of the man who related the + story, who had listened attentively, and to whom it seemed that a woman + would be most happy and fortunate who had a husband so endowed. + </p> + <p> + And she also thought in her heart that if she could devise some cunning + excuse she would some day go to Mont St. Michel, and put up at the inn + kept by the man with the big member, and it would not be her fault if she + did not try whether the report were true. + </p> + <p> + To execute what she had so boldly devised, at the end of six or eight days + she took leave of her husband, to go on a pilgrimage to Mont St. Michel; + and she invented some clever excuse for her journey, as women well know + how to do. Her husband did not refuse her permission to go, though he had + his suspicions. + </p> + <p> + At parting, her husband told her to make an offering to Saint Michael, and + that she was to lodge at the house of the said landlord, and he + recommended her to him a hundred thousand times. + </p> + <p> + She promised to accomplish all he ordered, and upon that took leave and + went away, much desiring, God knows, to find herself at Mont St. Michel. + As soon as she had left, the husband mounted his horse, and went as fast + as he could, by another road to that which his wife had taken, to Mont St. + Michel, and arrived secretly, before his wife, at the inn kept by the man + already mentioned, who most gladly welcomed him. When he was in his + chamber, he said to his host, + </p> + <p> + “My host, you and I have been friends for a long time. I will tell you + what has brought me to your town now. About five or six days ago, a lot of + good fellows were having supper at my house, and amongst other talk, I + related how it was said throughout the country that there was no man + better furnished than you”—and then he told him as nearly as + possible all that had been said. “And it happened,” he continued, “that my + wife listened attentively to what I said, and never rested till she + obtained permission to come to this town. And by my oath, I verily suspect + that her chief intention is to try if she can, if my words were true that + I said about your big member. She will soon be here I expect, for she + longs to come; so I pray you when she does come you will receive her + gladly, and welcome her, and do all that she asks. But at all events do + not deceive me; take care that you do not touch her. Appoint a time to + come to her when she is in bed, and I will go in your place, and + afterwards I will tell you some good news.” + </p> + <p> + “Let me alone,” said the host. “I will take care and act my part well.” + </p> + <p> + “At all events,” said the other, “be sure and serve me no trick, for I + know well enough that she will be ready to.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said the host, “I assure you I will not come near her,” and + he did not. + </p> + <p> + Soon after came our wench and her maid, both very tired, God knows; and + the good host came forth, and received his guests as he had been enjoined, + and as he had promised. He caused mademoiselle to be taken to a fair + chamber, and a good fire to be made, and brought the best wine in the + house, and sent for some fine fresh cherries, and came to banquet with her + whilst supper was getting ready. When he saw his opportunity, he began to + make his approaches to her, but in a roundabout way. To cut matters short, + an agreement was made between them that he should come secretly at + midnight to sleep with her. + </p> + <p> + This being arranged, he went and told the husband of the dame, who, at the + hour named, went in mine host’s instead, and did the best he could, and + rose before daybreak and returned to his own bed. + </p> + <p> + When it was day, the wench, quite vexed and melancholy, called her maid, + and they rose, and dressed as hastily as they could, and would have paid + the host, but he said he would take nothing from her. And with that she + left without hearing Mass, or seeing St. Michael, or breakfasting either; + and without saying a single word, returned home. But you must know that + her husband was there already, and asked her what good news there was at + Mont St. Michel. She, feeling as annoyed as she could be, hardly deigned + to reply. + </p> + <p> + “And what sort of welcome,” asked her husband, “did mine host give you? By + God, he is a good fellow!” + </p> + <p> + “A good fellow!” she said. “Nothing very wonderful! I will not give him + more praise than is his due.” + </p> + <p> + “No, dame?” he replied. “By St. John, I should have thought that for love + of me he would have given you a hearty welcome.” + </p> + <p> + “I care not about his welcome,” she said. “I do not go on a pilgrimage for + the sake of his, or any one else’s welcome. I only think of my devotion.” + </p> + <p> + “Devotion, wife!” he answered. “By Our Lady, you had none! I know very + well why you are so vexed and sorrowful. You did not find what you + expected—that is the exact truth. Ha, ha, madam! I know the cause of + your pilgrimage. You wanted to make trial of the physical gifts of our + host of St. Michel, but, by St. John, I was on my guard, and always will + be if I can help it. And that you may not think that I lied when I told + you that he had such a big affair, by God, I said nothing but what is + true. But you wanted something more than hearsay evidence, and, if I had + not stopped you, you would in your ‘devotion’ have tried its power for + yourself. You see I know all, and to remove any doubts you may have on the + subject, I may tell you that I came last night at the appointed hour, and + took his place—so be content with what I was able to do, and remain + satisfied with what you have. This time I pardon you, but take care that + it never occurs again.” + </p> + <p> + The damsel, confused and astonished at being thus caught, as soon as she + could speak, begged his pardon, and promised never to do anything of the + sort again. And I believe that she never did. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0066" id="linklink2H_4_0066"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="66pg (129K)" src="images/66pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-SIXTH — THE WOMAN AT THE BATH. + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of an inn-keeper at Saint Omer who put to his son a question for + which he was afterwards sorry when he heard the reply, at which his wife + was much ashamed, as you will hear, later.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Some time ago I was at Saint Omer with a number of noble companions, some + from the neighbourhood and Boulogne, and some from elsewhere, and after a + game of tennis, we went to sup at the inn of a tavern-keeper, who is a + well-to-do man and a good fellow, and who has a very pretty and buxom + wife, by whom he has a fine boy, of the age of six or seven years. + </p> + <p> + We were all seated at supper, the inn-keeper, his wife, and her son, who + stood near her, being with us, and some began to talk, others to sing and + make good cheer, and our host did his best to make himself agreeable. + </p> + <p> + His wife had been that day to the warm baths, and her little son with her. + So our host thought, to make the company laugh, to ask his son about the + people who were at the baths with his mother, (*) and said; + </p> + <p> + “Come here, my son, and tell me truly which of all the women at the baths + had the finest and the biggest c——?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The public baths were then much frequented, especially + by the lower classes. Men, women, and children all bathed + together. +</pre> + <p> + The child being questioned before his mother, whom he feared as children + usually do, looked at her, and did not speak. + </p> + <p> + The father, not expecting to find him so quiet, said again; + </p> + <p> + “Tell me, my son; who had the biggest c—— Speak boldly.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t know, father,” replied the child, still glancing at his mother. + </p> + <p> + “By God, you lie,” said his father. “Tell me! I want to know.” + </p> + <p> + “I dare not,” said the boy, “my mother would beat me.” + </p> + <p> + “No, she will not,” said the father. “You need not mind. I will see she + does not hurt you.” + </p> + <p> + Our hostess, the boy’s mother, not thinking that her son would tell (as he + did) said to him. + </p> + <p> + “Answer boldly what your father asks you.” + </p> + <p> + “You will beat me,” he said. + </p> + <p> + “No, I will not,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + The father, now that the boy had permission to speak, again asked; + </p> + <p> + “Well, my son, on your word, did you look at the c——s of all + the women who were at the baths?” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John, yes, father.” + </p> + <p> + “Were there plenty of them? Speak, and don’t lie.” + </p> + <p> + “I never saw so many. It seemed a real warren of c——s.” + </p> + <p> + “Well then; tell us now who had the finest and the biggest?” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” replied the boy, “mother had the finest and biggest—but <i>he</i> + had such a large nose.” + </p> + <p> + “Such a large nose?” said the father. “Go along, go along! you are a good + boy.” + </p> + <p> + We all began to laugh and to drink, and to talk about the boy who + chattered so well. But his mother did not know which way to look, she was + so ashamed, because her son had spoken about a nose, and I expect that he + was afterwards well beaten for having told tales out of school. Our host + was a good fellow, but he afterwards repented having put a question the + answer to which made him blush. That is all for the present. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0067" id="linklink2H_4_0067"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="67pg (140K)" src="images/67pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-SEVENTH — THE WOMAN WITH THREE HUSBANDS. + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a “fur hat” of Paris, who wished to deceive a cobbler’s wife, but + over-reached, himself, for he married her to a barber, and thinking that + he was rid of her, would have wedded another, but she prevented him, as + you will hear more plainly hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + About three years ago a noteworthy adventure happened to one of the fur + hats of the Parliament of Paris. (*) And that it should not be forgotten, + I relate this story, not that I hold all the “fur caps” to be good and + upright men; but because there was not a little, but a large measure of + duplicity about this particular one, which is a strange and peculiar thing + as every one knows. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The councillors of Parliament wore a cap of fur, + bordered with ermine. +</pre> + <p> + To come to my story, this fur hat,—that is to say this councillor of + Parliament,—fell in love with the wife of a cobbler of Paris,—a + good, and pretty woman, and ready-witted. The fur hat managed, by means of + money and other ways, to get an interview with the cobbler’s fair wife on + the quiet and alone, and if he had been enamoured of her before he enjoyed + her, he was still more so afterwards, which she perceived and was on her + guard, and resolved to stand off till she obtained her price. + </p> + <p> + His love for her was at such fever heat, that by commands, prayers, + promises, and gifts, he tried to make her come to him, but she would not, + in order to aggravate and increase his malady. He sent ambassadors of all + sorts to his mistress, but it was no good—she would rather die than + come. + </p> + <p> + Finally—to shorten the story—in order to make her come to him + as she used formerly to do, he promised her in the presence of three or + four witnesses, that he would take her to wife if her husband died. + </p> + <p> + As soon as she obtained this promise, she consented to visit him at + various times when she could get away, and he continued to be as love-sick + as ever. She, knowing her husband to be old, and having the aforesaid + promise, already looked upon herself as the Councillor’s wife. + </p> + <p> + But a short time afterwards, the much-desired death of the cobbler was + known and published, and his fair widow at once went with a bound to the + abode of the fur cap, who received her gladly, and again promised to make + her his wife. + </p> + <p> + These two good people—the fur cap, and his mistress, the cobbler’s + widow—were now together; But it often happens that what can be got + without trouble is not worth the trouble of getting, and so it was in this + case, for our fur cap soon began to weary of the cobbler’s widow, and his + love for her grew cold. She often pressed him to perform the marriage he + had promised, but he said; + </p> + <p> + “By my word, my dear, I can never marry, for I am a churchman, and hold + such and such benefices, as you know. The promise I formerly made you is + null and void, and was caused by the great love I bear you, to win you to + me the more easily.” + </p> + <p> + She, believing that he did belong to the Church, and seeing that she was + as much mistress of his house as though she had been his wedded wife, went + her accustomed way, and never troubled more about the marriage; but at + last was persuaded by the fine words of our fur cap to leave him, and + marry a barber, their neighbour, to whom the Councillor gave 300 gold + crowns, and God knows that the woman also was well provided with clothes. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that our fur cap had a definite object in arranging this + marriage, which would never have come off if he had not told his mistress + that in future he intended to serve God, and live on his benefices, and + give up everything to the Church. But he did just the contrary, as soon as + he had got rid of her by marrying her to the barber; for about a year + later, he secretly treated for the hand of the daughter of a rich and + notable citizen of Paris. + </p> + <p> + The marriage was agreed to and arranged, and a day fixed for the wedding. + He also disposed of his benefices, which were only held by simple tonsure. + </p> + <p> + These things were known throughout Paris, and came to the knowledge of the + cobbler’s widow, now the barber’s wife, and, as you may guess, she was + much surprised. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the traitor,” she said; “has he deceived me like this? He deserted me + under pretence of serving God, and made me over to another man. But, by + Our Lady of Clery, the matter shall not rest here.” + </p> + <p> + Nor did it, for she cited our fur cap before the Bishop, and there her + advocate stated his case clearly and courteously, saying that the fur cap + had promised the cobbler’s wife, in the presence of several witnesses, + that if her husband died he would make her his wife. When her husband + died, the Councillor had kept her for about a year, and then handed her + over to a barber. + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, the witnesses having been heard, and the case + debated, the Bishop annulled the marriage of the cobbler’s widow to the + barber, and enjoined and commanded the fur cap to take her as his wife, + for so she was by right, since he had carnal connection with her after the + aforesaid promise. + </p> + <p> + Thus was our fur cap brought to his senses. He missed marrying the + citizen’s fair daughter, and lost the 300 crowns, which the barber had for + keeping his wife for a year. And if the Councillor was ill-pleased to have + his old mistress again, the barber was glad enough to get rid of her. + </p> + <p> + In the manner that you have heard, was one of the fur caps of the + Parliament of Paris once served. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0040" id="linklinkimage-0040"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/68.jpg" width="100%" alt="68.jpg" + title="The Jade Despoiled. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0068" id="linklink2H_4_0068"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="68pg (145K)" src="images/68pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-EIGHTH — THE JADE DESPOILED. + </h2> + <h3> + By Messire Chrestien De Dygoigne. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a married man who found his wife with another man, and devised + means to get from her her money, clothes, jewels, and all, down to her + chemise, and then sent her away in that condition, as shall be + afterwards recorded.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is no new and strange thing for wives to make their husbands jealous,—or + indeed, by God, cuckolds. And so it happened formerly, in the city of + Antwerp, that a married woman, who was not the chastest person in the + world, was desired by a good fellow to do—you know what. And she, + being kind and courteous, did not like to refuse the request, but gladly + consented, and they two continued this life for a long time. + </p> + <p> + In the end, Fortune, tired of always giving them good luck, willed that + the husband should catch them in the act, much to his own surprise. + Perhaps though it would be hard to say which was the most surprised—the + lover, or his mistress, or the husband. Nevertheless, the lover, with the + aid of a good sword he had, made his escape without getting any harm. + There remained the husband and wife, and what they said to each other may + be guessed. After a few words on both sides, the husband, thinking to + himself that as she had commenced to sin it would be difficult to break + her of her bad habits, and that if she did sin again it might come to the + knowledge of other people, and he might be dishonoured; and considering + also that to beat or scold her would be only lost labour, determined to + see if he could not drive her out, and never let her disgrace his house + again. So he said to his wife; + </p> + <p> + “Well, I see that you are not such as you ought to be; nevertheless, + hoping that you will never again behave as you have behaved, let no more + be said. But let us talk of another matter. I have some business on hand + which concerns me greatly, and you also. We must put in it all our jewels; + and if you have any little hoard of money stored away, bring it forth, for + it is required.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath,” said the wench, “I will do so willingly, if you will pardon + me the wrong I have done you.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t speak about it,” he replied, “and no more will I.” + </p> + <p> + She, believing that she had absolution and remission of her sins, to + please her husband, and atone for the scandal she had caused, gave him all + the money she had, her gold rings, rich stuffs, certain well-stuffed + purses, a number of very fine kerchiefs, many whole furs of great value—in + short, all that she had, and that her husband could ask, she gave to do + him pleasure. + </p> + <p> + “The devil!” quoth he; “still I have not enough.” + </p> + <p> + When he had everything, down to the gown and petticoat she wore, he said, + “I must have that gown.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed!” said she. “I have nothing else to wear. Do you want me to go + naked?” + </p> + <p> + “You must,” he said, “give it me, and the petticoat also, and be quick + about it, for either by good-will or force, I must have them.” + </p> + <p> + She, knowing that force was not on her side, stripped off her gown and + petticoat, and stood in her chemise. + </p> + <p> + “There!” she said; “Have I done what pleases you?” + </p> + <p> + “Not always,” he replied. “If you obey me now, God knows you do so + willingly—but let us leave that and talk of another matter. When I + married you, you brought scarcely anything with you, and the little that + you had you have dissipated or forfeited. There is no need for me to speak + of your conduct—you know better than anyone what you are, and being + what you are, I hereby renounce you, and say farewell to you for ever! + There is the door! go your way; and if you are wise, you will never come + into my presence again.” + </p> + <p> + The poor wench, more astounded than ever, did not dare to stay after this + terrible reproof, so she left, and went, I believe, to the house of her + lover, for the first night, and sent many ambassadors to try and get back + her apparel and belongings, but it was no avail. Her husband was + headstrong and obstinate, and would never hear her spoken about, and still + less take her back, although he was much pressed both by his own friends + and those of his wife. + </p> + <p> + She was obliged to earn other clothes, and instead of her husband live + with a friend until her husband’s wrath is appeased, but, up to the + present, he is still displeased with her, and will on no account see her. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0069" id="linklink2H_4_0069"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="69pg (128K)" src="images/69pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SIXTY-NINTH — THE VIRTUOUS LADY WITH TWO HUSBANDS. <a + href="#linklinknote-69" name="linklinknoteref-69" id="linklinknoteref-69">69</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a noble knight of Flanders, who was married to a beautiful and + noble lady. He was for many years a prisoner in Turkey, during which + time his good and loving wife was, by the importunities of her friends, + induced to marry another knight. Soon after she had remarried, she heard + that her husband had returned from Turkey, whereupon she allowed herself + to die of grief, because she had contracted a fresh marriage.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is not only known to all those of the city of Ghent—where the + incident that I am about to relate happened not long ago—but to all + those of Flanders, and many others, that at the battle fought between the + King of Hungary and Duke Jehan (whom may God absolve) on one side, and the + Grand Turk and all his Turks on the other, (*) that many noble knights and + esquires—French, Flemish, German, and Picardians—were taken + prisoners, of whom some were put to death in the presence of the said + Great Turk, others were imprisoned for life, and others condemned to + slavery, amongst which last was a noble knight of the said country of + Flanders, named Clayz Utenhoven. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The battle of Nicopolis (28th September, 1396) when + Sigismond, King of Hungary, and Jean-sans-Peur, son of the + Duke of Burgundy, who had recruited a large army for the + purpose of raising the siege of Constantinople, were met and + overthrown by the Sultan, Bajazet I. +</pre> + <p> + For many years he endured this slavery, which was no light task but an + intolerable martyrdom to him, considering the luxuries upon which he had + been nourished, and the condition in which he had lived. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that he had formerly married at Ghent a beautiful and + virtuous lady, who loved him and held him dear with all her heart, and who + daily prayed to God that shortly she might see him again if he were still + alive; and that if he were dead, He would of His grace pardon his sins, + and include him in the number of those glorious martyrs, who to repel the + infidel, and that the holy Catholic faith might be exalted, had given up + their mortal lives. + </p> + <p> + This good lady, who was rich, beautiful, virtuous, and possessed of many + noble friends, was continually pressed and assailed by her friends to + remarry; they declaring and affirming that her husband was dead, and that + if he were alive he would have returned like the others; or if he were a + prisoner, she would have received notice to prepare his ransom. But + whatever reasons were adduced, this virtuous lady could not be persuaded + to marry again, but excused herself as well as she was able. + </p> + <p> + These excuses served her little or nothing, for her relatives and friends + so pressed her that she was obliged to obey. But God knows that it was + with no small regret, and after she had been for nine years deprived of + the presence of her good and loyal husband, whom she believed to be long + since dead, as did most or all who knew him; but God, who guards and + preserves his servants and champions, had otherwise ordered it, for he + still lived and performed his arduous labours as a slave. + </p> + <p> + To return to our story. This virtuous lady was married to another knight, + and lived with him for half a year, without hearing anything further about + her first husband. + </p> + <p> + By the will of God, however, this good and true knight, Messire Clays, who + was still in Turkey, when his wife married again, and there working as a + slave, was, by means of some Christian gentlemen and merchants, delivered, + and returned in their galley. + </p> + <p> + As he was on his return, he met and found in passing through various + places, many of his acquaintance, who were overjoyed at his delivery, for + in truth he was a most valiant man, of great renown and many virtues; and + so the most joyful rumour of his much wished-for deliverance spread into + France, Artois, and Picardy, where his virtues were not less known than + they were in Flanders, of which country he was a native. And from these + countries it soon reached Flanders, and came to the ears of his beauteous + and virtuous lady and spouse, who was astounded thereat, and her feelings + so overcame her as to deprive her of her senses. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” she said, as soon as she could speak, “my heart was never willing to + do that which my relations and friends forced me to do. Alas! what will my + most loving lord and husband say? I have not kept faith with him as I + should, but—like a frail, frivolous, and weak-minded woman,—have + given to another part and portion of that of which he alone should be lord + and master! I cannot, and dare not await his coming. I am not worthy that + he should look at me, or that I should be seen in his company,” and with + these words her most chaste, virtuous, and loving heart failed her, and + she fell fainting. + </p> + <p> + She was carried and laid upon a bed, and her senses returned to her, but + from that time it was not in the power of man or woman to make her eat or + sleep, and thus she continued three days, weeping continually, and in the + greatest grief of mind that ever woman was. During which time she + confessed and did all that a good Christian should, and implored pardon of + all, and most especially of her husband. + </p> + <p> + Soon afterwards she died, which was a great misfortune; and it need not be + told what grief fell upon the said lord, her husband, when he heard the + news. His sorrow was such that he was in great danger of dying as his most + loving wife had done; but God, who had saved him from many other great + perils, preserved him also from this. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0070" id="linklink2H_4_0070"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="70pg (136K)" src="images/70pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTIETH — THE DEVIL’S HORN. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a noble knight of Germany, a great traveller in his time; who + after he had made a certain voyage, took a vow to never make the sign of + the Cross, owing to the firm faith and belief that he had in the holy + sacrament of baptism—in which faith he fought the devil, as you + will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A noble knight of Germany, a great traveller, distinguished in arms, + courteous, and largely endowed with all good virtues, had just returned + from a long journey, and was in his castle, when he was asked by one of + his vassals living in the same town, to be godfather to his child, which + had been born on the same day that the knight returned. + </p> + <p> + To which request the knight willingly acceded, and although he had during + his life held many children at the font, he had never before listened to + the holy words pronounced by the priest at this holy and excellent + sacrament as he did this time, and they seemed to him—as indeed they + are-full of high and divine mystery. + </p> + <p> + The baptism being finished, he being liberal and courteous and willing to + oblige his vassals, remained to dine in the town, instead of returning to + his castle, and with him dined the curé, his fellow sponsor, and other + persons of renown. + </p> + <p> + The discourse turned on various matters, when the knight began to greatly + praise the excellent sacrament of baptism, and said in a loud and clear + voice that all might hear; + </p> + <p> + “If I knew for a truth that at my baptism had been pronounced the great + and holy words which I heard to-day at the baptism of my latest god-son, I + would not believe that the devil could have any power or authority over + me, except to tempt me, and I would refrain from ever making the sign of + the Cross, not that—let it be well understood—I do not well + know that sign is sufficient to repel the devil, but because I believe + that the words pronounced at the baptism of every Christian (if they are + such as I have to-day heard) are capable of driving away all the devils of + hell, however many they might be.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly then, monseigneur,” replied the curé, “I assure you <i>in verbo + sacerdotis</i> that the same words which were said to-day at the baptism + of your god-son were pronounced at your baptism. I know it well, for I + myself baptised you, and I remember it as well as though it were + yesterday. God be merciful to monseigneur your father—he asked me + the day after your baptism, what I thought of his son; such and such were + your sponsors, and such and such were present,” and he related all + particulars about the baptism, and showed that it was certain that in not + a word did it differ from that of his god-son. + </p> + <p> + “Since it is thus,” then said the noble knight, “I vow to God, my creator, + that I have such firm faith in the holy sacrament of baptism that never + again, for any danger, encounter, or assault that the devil may make + against me, will I make the sign of the Cross, but solely by the memory of + the sacrament of baptism I will drive him behind me; such a firm belief + have I in this divine mystery, that it does not seem possible to me that + the devil can hurt a man so shielded, for that rite needs no other aid if + accompanied by true faith.” + </p> + <p> + The dinner passed, and I know not how many years after, the good knight + was in a large town in Germany, about some business which drew him + thither, and was lodged in an inn. As he was one night along with his + servants, after supper, talking and jesting with them, he wished to + retire, but as his servants were enjoying themselves he would not disturb + them, so he took a candle and went alone. As he entered the closet he saw + before him a most horrible and terrible monster, having large and long + horns, eyes brighter than the flames of a furnace, arms thick and long, + sharp and cutting claws,—in fact a most extraordinary monster, and a + devil, I should imagine. + </p> + <p> + And for such the good knight took it, and was at first greatly startled at + such a meeting. Nevertheless, he boldly determined to defend himself if he + were attacked, and he remembered the vow he had made concerning the holy + and divine mystery of baptism. And in this faith he walked up to the + monster, whom I have called a devil, and asked him who he was and what he + wanted? + </p> + <p> + The devil, without a word, attacked him, and the good knight defended + himself, though he had no other weapons than his hands (for he was in his + doublet, being about to go to bed) and the protection of his firm faith in + the holy mystery of baptism. + </p> + <p> + The struggle lasted long, and the good knight was so weary that it was + strange he could longer endure such an assault. But he was so well-armed + by his faith that the blows of his enemy had but little effect. At last, + when the combat had lasted a full hour, the good knight took the devil by + the horns, and tore one of them out, and beat him therewith soundly. + </p> + <p> + Then he went away victorious, leaving the devil writhing on the ground, + and went back to his servants, who were still enjoying themselves, as they + had been doing when he left. They were much frightened to see their master + sweating and out of breath, and with his face all scratched, and his + doublet, shirt, and hose disarranged and torn. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, sir,” they cried; “whence come you, and who has thus mauled you?” + </p> + <p> + “Who?” he replied. “Why it was the devil, with whom I have fought so long + that I am out of breath, and in the condition in which you see me; and I + swear to you that I truly believe he would have strangled and devoured me, + if I had not at that moment remembered my baptism, and the great mystery + of that holy sacrament, and the vow that I made I know not how many years + ago. And, believe me, I have kept that vow, and though I was in danger, I + never made the sign of the Cross, but remembering the aforesaid holy + sacrament, boldly defended myself, and have escaped scot free; for which I + praise and thank our Lord who with the shield of faith hath preserved me + safely. Let all the other devils in hell come; as long as this protection + endures, I fear them not. Praise be to our blessed God who is able to + endue his knights with such weapons.” + </p> + <p> + The servants of the good knight, when they heard their master relate this + story, were very glad to find he had escaped so well, and much astonished + at the horn he showed them, and which he had torn out of the devil’s head. + And they could not discover, neither could any person who afterwards saw + it, of what it was formed; if it were bone or horn, as other horns are, + or, what it was. + </p> + <p> + Then one of the knight’s servants said that he would go and see if this + devil were still where his master had left it, and if he found it he would + fight it, and tear out its other horn. His master told him not to go, but + he said he would. + </p> + <p> + “Do not do it,” said his master; “the danger is too great.” + </p> + <p> + “I care not,” replied the other; “I will go.” + </p> + <p> + “If you take my advice,” said his master, “you will not go.” + </p> + <p> + But he would disobey his master and go. He took in one hand a torch, and + in the other a great axe, and went to the place where his master had met + and fought the devil. What happened no one knows, but his master, who, + fearing for his servant, followed him as quickly as he could, found + neither man nor devil, nor ever heard what became of the man. + </p> + <p> + Thus, in the manner that you have heard, did this good knight fight + against the devil, and overcome him by the virtue of the holy sacrament of + baptism. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0041" id="linklinkimage-0041"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/71.jpg" width="100%" alt="71.jpg" + title="The Considerate Cuckold " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0071" id="linklink2H_4_0071"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="71pg (139K)" src="images/71pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-FIRST — THE CONSIDERATE CUCKOLD + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur Le Duc. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight of Picardy, who lodged at an inn in the town of St. Omer, + and fell in love with the hostess, with whom he was amusing himself—you + know how—when her husband discovered them; and how he behaved—as + you will shortly hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + At Saint Omer, not long ago, there happened an amusing incident, which is + as true as the Gospel, and is known to many notable people worthy of faith + and belief. In short, the story is as follows. + </p> + <p> + A noble knight of Picardy, who was lively and lusty, and a man of great + authority and high position, came to an inn where the quartermaster of + Duke Philip of Burgundy had appointed him to lodge. (*) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The <i>fourrier</i>—which, for want of a better word, I have + translated as “quartermaster,”—was an officer of the + household of a prince or great lord. One of his duties was + to provide lodgings for all the retinue whenever his master + was travelling. +</pre> + <p> + As soon as he had jumped off his horse, and put foot to the ground, his + hostess—as is the custom in that part of the country—came + forward smiling most affably, and received him most honourably, and, as he + was the most kind and courteous of men, he embraced her and kissed her + gently, for she was pretty and nice, healthy-looking and nattily dressed—in + fact very tempting to kiss and cuddle—and at first sight each took a + strong liking to the other. + </p> + <p> + The knight wondered by what means he could manage to enjoy the person of + his hostess, and confided in one of his servants, who in a very short time + so managed the affair that the two were brought together. + </p> + <p> + When the noble knight saw his hostess ready to listen to whatever he had + to say, you may fancy that he was joyful beyond measure; and in his great + haste and ardent desire to discuss the question he wanted to argue with + her, forgot to shut the door of the room, which his servant, when he + departed after bringing the woman in, had left half open. + </p> + <p> + The knight, without troubling about preludes, began an oration in + dumb-show; and the hostess, who was not sorry to hear him, replied to his + arguments in such a manner that they soon agreed well together, and never + was music sweeter, or instruments in better tune, than it was for those + two, by God’s mercy. + </p> + <p> + But it happened, by I know not what chance, that the host of the inn, the + husband of the woman, was seeking his wife to tell her something, and + passing by chance by the chamber where his wife and the knight were + playing the cymbals, heard the sound. He turned towards the spot where + this pleasant pastime was going on, and pushing open the door, saw the + knight and his wife harnessed together, at which he was by far the most + astonished of the three, and drew back quickly, fearing to prevent and + disturb the said work which they were performing. But all that he did by + way of menace or remonstrance was to call out from behind the door; + “Morbleu! you are not only wicked but thoughtless. Have you not the sense, + when you want to do anything of that sort, to shut the door behind you? + Just fancy what it would have been if anyone else had found you! By God, + you would have been ruined and dishonoured, and your misdeeds discovered + and known to all the town! In the devil’s name, be more careful another + time!” and without another word, he closed the door and went away; and the + honest couple re-tuned their bagpipes, and finished the tune they had + begun. + </p> + <p> + And when this was finished, each went his or her own way as unconcernedly + as though nothing had happened; and the circumstance would I believe have + never been known—or at least not so publicly as to come to your + ears, and the ears of so many other people,—had it not been that the + husband vexed himself so little about the matter that he thought less of + being cuckolded than he did of finding the door unbolted. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0072" id="linklink2H_4_0072"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="72pg (135K)" src="images/72pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-SECOND — NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Commensuram. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman of Picardy who was enamoured of the wife of a knight + his neighbour; and how he obtained the lady’s favours and was nearly + caught with her, and with great difficulty made his escape, as you will + hear later.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Apropos of the previous story, there lived formerly in Picardy—and I + believe he is living there now—a gentlemen who was so enamoured of + the wife of a knight, his neighbour, that he deemed no day or hour happy + if he were not with her, or at least had news of her;—and he was + quite as dear to her—which is no small matter. + </p> + <p> + But the misfortune was that they could find no means of meeting secretly + to open their hearts to each other, and in no case would they do so in the + presence of a third person, however good a friend he or she might be. At + last, after many sad nights and days, Love, who aids and succours his + loyal servants when he pleases, procured for them the much-desired day, + when the poor husband,—the most jealous man living—was obliged + to leave his house on account of some pressing business by which he would + gain a large sum if he were present, and would lose his money if he were + absent. By gaining which sum he reaped an even better reward—that of + being called a cuckold as well as a jealous man—for he had no sooner + left his house than the gentleman, who was watching for no other quarry, + popped into the house, and without staying long, at once performed that + for which he came, and received from his lady all that a lover can and + dare demand; as pleasantly and as leisurely as they could both wish. + </p> + <p> + And they did not suppose that the husband would surprise them, but looked + forward to a time of unalloyed pleasure, hoping that the night would + complete that which the most joyful day—by far too short—had + begun, and really believing that the poor devil of a husband could not + return before dinner-time the following day at the earliest. + </p> + <p> + But it happened otherwise, for the devil brought him home. I know not, and + care not to know how it was that he could get through his business so + quickly, suffice it to say that he came back that night, at which the + company—that is to say the two lovers—was much alarmed, and so + taken by surprise, (for they did not expect this inopportune return) that + the poor gentleman could think of nothing else to do than to hide in the + privy which was close to the chamber, hoping to escape by some means that + his mistress would find before the knight came into the chamber. + </p> + <p> + It chanced that our knight, who that day had ridden sixteen or eighteen + long leagues, was so tired and stiff that he would sup in his chamber, + where he had his boots taken off, and would not go to the dining-hall. + </p> + <p> + You may guess that the poor gentleman paid dear for the pleasure he had + had that day, for he was half dead with hunger, cold, and fear; and, to + aggravate his misfortune, he was taken with such a horrible cough that it + was wonderful that it was not heard in the chamber, where were assembled, + the knight, the lady, and the other knights of the household. + </p> + <p> + The lady, whose eyes and ears were open for any sign of her lover, heard + him by chance, and her heart sank within her, for she feared that her + husband would hear also. Soon after supper she found an opportunity to go + to the privy, and told her lover to take care, for God’s sake, and not + cough like that. + </p> + <p> + “Alas, my dear,” he said, “I cannot help it. God knows how I am punished. + And for God’s sake think of some way of getting me out of this.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” she said, and with that she went away, and the good squire began + his song over again, so loud indeed that he was much afraid he would be + heard in the chamber; and might have been had not the lady talked very + loudly in order to drown the noise. + </p> + <p> + When the squire had this fresh attack of coughing, he knew of nothing + better to do to prevent being heard than to stuff his head down the hole + of the privy, where he was well “incensed”, God knows, by the stuff + therein, but he preferred that to being heard. In short, he was there a + long time, with his head down the hole, spitting, sniffing, and coughing + so much that it seemed as though he would never do anything else. + </p> + <p> + After this fit finished, the cough left him, and then he tried to draw out + his head, but it was not in his power, so far had he pushed his shoulders + through, and you may fancy that he was not very comfortable. In short he + could not find means to get out, try as he would. He scraped his neck, and + nearly pulled his ears off, and in the end, by God’s will, he pulled so + hard that he tore away the seat of the privy, which hung round his neck. + It was beyond his power to get out of it, but troublesome as it was, he + preferred that to his previous position: + </p> + <p> + His mistress came and found him in that state, and was much astonished. + She could not help him, and all the consolation she could give him was to + tell him that she could find no means of getting him out of the house. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0042" id="linklinkimage-0042"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/72.jpg" width="100%" alt="72.jpg" + title=" Necessity is the Mother of Invention. " /> + </div> + <p> + “Is that so?” he said. “Morbleu! I am well armed to fight any one, but I + must have a sword in my hand.” + </p> + <p> + He was soon provided with a good one, and the lady, seeing his + extraordinary appearance, although her heart was lull of doubt and + uncertainty, could not refrain from laughing, and the squire also. + </p> + <p> + “Now I commend myself to God,” he said. “I am going to try if I can get + out of the house; but first black my face well.” + </p> + <p> + She did so, and recommended him to God, and the poor fellow, with the seat + of the privy round his neck, a drawn sword in his hand, and his face + blacker than charcoal, sallied out into the room, and by luck the first + person he met was the husband, who was in such mortal fear at the sight of + him—believing it was the Devil himself—that he tumbled full + length on the floor and nearly broke his neck, and was for a long time in + a swoon. + </p> + <p> + His wife, seeing him in this condition, came forward, and pretending to + show much more fear than she really felt, supported him in her arms, and + asked him what was the matter. As soon as he came to himself, he said in + broken accents, and with a piteous air; “Did you see that devil I met.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I did,” she replied, “and I nearly died of fright at the sight.” + </p> + <p> + “Why does it come to our house?” he asked, “And who could have sent it? I + shall not recover myself for a year or two, I have been so frightened.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor shall I, by God,” said the pious lady. “I believe it must mean + something. May God keep us, and protect us from all evil fortune. My heart + forebodes some mischief from this vision.” + </p> + <p> + Every one in the castle gave his or her version of the devil with a drawn + sword, and they all believed it was a real devil. The good lady, who held + the key of the mystery, was very glad to see them of that opinion. Ever + after that the said devil continued to do the work that everyone does so + willingly, though the husband, and everybody except a discreet waiting + woman, were ignorant of the fact. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0043" id="linklinkimage-0043"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/73.jpg" width="100%" alt="73.jpg" + title="The Bird in The Cage. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0073" id="linklink2H_4_0073"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="73pg (134K)" src="images/73pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-THIRD — THE BIRD IN THE CAGE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Jehan Lambin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a curé who was in love with the wife of one of his parishioners, + with whom the said curé was found by the husband of the woman, the + neighbours having given him warning—and how the curé escaped, as + you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the district of Saint Pol, in a village near that town, there formerly + resided a worthy man, a labourer, married to a fair and buxom woman with + whom the curé of the village was in love. He was burning with love for + her, but he foresaw that his intentions might be suspected, and thought + that the best way to win her would be to first gain the friendship of her + husband. + </p> + <p> + He confided this opinion to the woman, and asked her advice, and she + replied that it was a very good plan to enable them to carry out their + amorous intentions. + </p> + <p> + The curé, by flattery and subtle means, made the acquaintance of the good + man, and managed him so well that he was always talking of “his curé”, and + would not eat or do anything else without him. Every day he would have him + to dinner and supper, in short there was nothing done at the good man’s + house without the curé being present. By this means he could come to the + house as often as he pleased, and whatever time he liked. + </p> + <p> + But the neighbours of this foolish labourer, seeing what he could not see, + his eyes being bandaged by weakness and confidence,—told him that it + was not right and proper to have the curé at his house every day, and + that, if it continued, his wife’s reputation would suffer, these frequent + visits having been noticed and spoken about by his neighbours and friends. + </p> + <p> + When the good man found himself thus sharply reproved by his neighbours + for the frequent visits of the curé to his house, he was obliged to tell + the curé that he must cease his constant calls, and forbade him by strict + orders and menaces ever to come again until he was invited; affirming by a + great oath that if ever he found the curé in his house there would be an + account to settle between them, and it would not be pleasant for the + visitor. + </p> + <p> + This prohibition displeased the curé more than I can tell you, but though + vexed, he would not break off his love affair, for it was so deeply rooted + in the hearts of both parties that it could not be easily eradicated. But + hear how the curé managed after this prohibition. By an agreement with his + mistress, he used to be informed of the times when her husband was absent, + and then visit her. But he managed clumsily, for he could not pay his + visits without the knowledge of the neighbours, who had been the cause of + the interdict, and who were as much displeased at the cure’s acts as + though they had been personally concerned. + </p> + <p> + The good man was again informed that the curé used to come and put out the + fire at his house every night, (*) as he did before he was forbidden. The + foolish husband, hearing that, was much astonished and also angry, and to + remedy this state of affairs, thought of the means which I will relate. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) That is to say came at curfew time. +</pre> + <p> + He told his wife that he was going, on a certain day which he named, to + take to St. Orner a waggon-load of corn, and that the work might be well + done, was going himself. When the day named for his departure arrived, he + did, as is usual in Picardy, especially round St. Omer, that is loaded his + waggon of corn at midnight, and at that hour took leave of his wife and + departed with his waggon. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he was gone, his wife closed all the doors of the house. Now + you must know that the St. Omer to which our merchant was going was the + house of one of his friends who lived at the other end of the village. He + arrived there, put his waggon in the courtyard of the said friend—who + knew all the business—and sent him to keep watch and listen round + the house to see if any thief might come. + </p> + <p> + When he arrived, he concealed himself at the corner of a thick hedge, from + which spot he could see all the doors of the house of the merchant, of + whom he was the friend and servant. + </p> + <p> + Hardly had he taken his place than there arrived the curé, who had come to + light his candle—or rather to put it out—and softly and + secretly knocked at the door, which was soon opened by one who was not + inclined to sleep at that time, who came down in her chemise, and let in + her confessor, and then closed the door and led him to the place where her + husband ought to have been. + </p> + <p> + The watcher, when he perceived what was done, left his post, and went and + informed the husband. Upon which news, the following plan was quickly + arranged between them. The corn-merchant pretended to have returned from + his journey on account of certain adventures which had, or might have, + happened to him. + </p> + <p> + He knocked at the door, and shouted to his wife, who was much alarmed when + she heard his voice, and made haste to conceal her lover, the curé, in a + <i>casier</i> that was in the chamber; and you must know that a <i>casier</i> + is a kind of pantry-cupboard, long and narrow and fairly deep, and very + much like a trough. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the curé was concealed amongst the eggs, butter cheese, and + other such victuals, the brave housewife, pretending to be half awake half + asleep, let in her husband, and said. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, my dear husband, what can have happened that you have returned so + quickly? There must be some reason why you did not go on your journey—for + God’s sake tell it me quickly!” + </p> + <p> + The good man, who was as angry as he could be, although he did not show + it, insisted on going to their bedroom and there telling her the cause of + his sudden return. When he was where he expected to find the curé, that is + to say in the bedroom, he began to relate his reasons for breaking his + journey. Firstly, he said he had such suspicion of her virtue that he + feared much to be numbered amongst the blue vestments, (*) or “our + friends” as they are commonly called, and that it was because of this + suspicion that he had returned so quickly. Also that when he was out of + the house it had occurred to his mind that the curé was his deputy whilst + he was away. So to put his suspicions to the test, he had come back, and + now wanted the candle to see whether his wife had been sleeping alone + during his absence. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) In the present day, yellow is the emblematic colour for + jealous or cuckolded husbands, but it would appear from this + passage that in the 15th century it was blue-possibly, + Bibliophile Jacob thinks, from its being the colour of the + <i>maquereau</i>. +</pre> + <p> + When he had finished relating the causes of his return, the good woman + cried, + </p> + <p> + “Oh, my dear husband, whence comes this baseless jealousy? Have you ever + seen in my conduct anything that should not be seen in that of a good, + faithful, and virtuous wife? Cursed be the hour I first knew you, since + you suspect me of that which my heart could never imagine. You know me + badly if you do not know how clean and pure my heart is, and will remain.” + </p> + <p> + The good man paid little heed to these words, but said that he wished to + allay his suspicions, and to at once inspect every corner of the chamber + as well as possible,—but he did not find what he sought. + </p> + <p> + Then he caught sight of the <i>casier</i>, and he guessed that the man he + wanted was inside, but he made no sign, and calling his wife said; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, I was wrong to presume that you were untrue to me, and such as + my false suspicions imagined. Nevertheless, I am so obstinate in my + opinions, that it would be impossible for me to live comfortably with you + henceforth. And therefore I hope you will agree that a separation should + be made between us, and that we divide our goods equally in a friendly + manner.” + </p> + <p> + The wench, who was pleased with this arrangement, in order that she might + more easily see her curé, agreed with scarcely any difficulty to her + husband’s request, but she made it a condition that in the division of the + furniture she should have first choice. + </p> + <p> + “And why,” said the husband, “should you have first choice? It is against + all right and justice.” + </p> + <p> + They were a long time squabbling about first choice, but in the end the + husband won, and took the <i>casier</i> in which there was nothing but + custards, tarts, cheeses, and other light provisions, amongst which was + the good curé buried, and he heard all the discussion that went on. + </p> + <p> + When the husband chose the <i>casier</i>, his wife chose the copper; then + the husband chose another article then she chose; and so on until all the + articles were apportioned out. + </p> + <p> + After the division was made, the husband said; + </p> + <p> + “I will allow you to live in my house until you have found another + lodging, but I am going now to take my share of the furniture, and put it + in the house of one of my neighbours.” + </p> + <p> + “Do so,” she said, “when you like.” + </p> + <p> + He took a good cord and tightly tied up the <i>casier</i>; then sent for + his waggoner and told him to put the <i>casier</i> on a horse’s back and + take it to the house of a certain neighbour. + </p> + <p> + The good woman heard these orders, but did not dare to interfere, for she + feared that if she did it would not advance matters, but perhaps cause the + <i>casier</i> to be opened, so she trusted to luck. + </p> + <p> + The <i>casier</i> was placed on the horse, and taken through the streets + to the house the good man had mentioned. But they had not gone far before + the curé, who was choked and blinded with eggs and butter, cried, + </p> + <p> + “For God’s sake! mercy!” + </p> + <p> + The waggoner hearing this piteous appeal come out of the <i>casier</i>, + jumped off the horse much frightened, and called the servants and his + master, and they opened the <i>casier</i>, and found the poor prisoner all + smeared and be-yellowed with eggs, cheese, milk, and more than a hundred + other things, indeed it would have been hard to say which there was most + of,—in such a pitiable condition was the poor lover. + </p> + <p> + When the husband saw him in that state, he could not help laughing, + although he felt angry; He let him go, and then went back to his wife to + tell her that he had not been wrong in suspecting her of unchastity. She + seeing herself fairly caught, begged for mercy, and was pardoned on this + condition, that if ever the case occurred again, she should be better + advised than to put her lover in the <i>casier</i>, for the curé had stood + a good chance of being killed. + </p> + <p> + After that they lived together for a long time, and the husband brought + back his <i>casier</i>, but I do not think that the curé was ever found in + it again, but ever after that adventure he was known, and still is, as + “Sire Vadin Casier”. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0074" id="linklink2H_4_0074"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="74pg (138K)" src="images/74pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-FOURTH — THE OBSEQUIOUS PRIEST. + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a priest of Boulogne who twice raised the body of Our Lord whilst + chanting a Mass, because he believed that the Seneschal of Boulogne had + come late to the Mass, and how he refused to take the Pax until the + Seneschal had done so, as you will hear hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Once when the Seneschal of the County of Boulogne was travelling through + the district visiting each town, he passed through a hamlet where the bell + was ringing for Mass, and as he expected that he should not reach the town + to which he was going in time to hear Mass, for the hour was then nearly + noon, he thought that he would dismount at this hamlet to see God in + passing. + </p> + <p> + He left his horse at the door of the church, and took a seat near the + altar, where high Mass was being celebrated, and placed himself so near + the priest, that the latter could see his profile whilst he was + celebrating the Mass. + </p> + <p> + When he raised the cup, and other things that he should, he thought to + himself that he had noticed the Seneschal behind him, and not knowing + whether he had come early enough to see the elevation, but believing that + he had come too late, the priest called his clerk, and made him light the + candles, and, performing all the ceremonies that he should, he again + raised the Host, saying that that was for Monseigneur le Seneschal. + </p> + <p> + And after that he proceeded until he came to the <i>Agnus Dei</i> which, + when he had said three times, and his clerk gave him the Pax to kiss, he + refused, approaching his clerk and saying that he should first present it + to the Seneschal, who refused it two or three times. + </p> + <p> + When the priest saw that the Seneschal would not take the Pax before him, + he put down the Host which he had in his hands, and took the Pax, which he + carried to my lord the Seneschal, and told him that if my lord did not + take it first, he would not take it himself. + </p> + <p> + “For it is not right,” said the priest, “that I should take the Pax before + you.” + </p> + <p> + Then the Seneschal, seeing that wisdom was not to be found in that place, + gave in to the curé and took the Pax first, and the curé followed him; and + that being done he returned to perform the rest of the Mass. + </p> + <p> + And this is all that was related to me. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0075" id="linklink2H_4_0075"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="75pg (135K)" src="images/75pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-FIFTH — THE BAGPIPE. <a href="#linklinknote-75" name="linklinknoteref-75" id="linklinknoteref-75">75</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Thalemas. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a hare-brained half-mad fellow who ran a great risk of being put + to death by being hanged on a gibbet in order to injure and annoy the + Bailly, justices, and other notables of the city of Troyes in Champagne + by whom he was mortally hated, as will appear more plainly hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the time of the war between the Burgundians; and the Armagnacs, (*) + there happened at Troyes in Champagne, a rather curious incident which is + well worth being recorded, and which was as follows. The people of Troyes, + though they had been Burgundians, had joined the Armagnacs, and amongst + them there had formerly lived a fellow who was half mad, for he had not + entirely lost his senses, though his words and actions showed more folly + than good sense—nevertheless he would sometimes say and do things + which a wiser than he could not have bettered. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The reign of Charles VI, after the assassination of the + Duc d’Orléans by Jean-sans-Peur, was marked by along civil + war between the factions here named, and who each in turn + called in the aid of the English. +</pre> + <p> + To begin the story, however; this fellow who was in garrison with the + Burgundians at Sainte Menehould, one day told his companions that if they + would listen to him, he would teach them how to catch a batch of the + yokels of Troyes, whom, in truth, he hated mortally, and they hardly loved + him, for they had always threatened to hang him if they caught him. This + is what he said: + </p> + <p> + “I will go to Troyes and will approach the fortifications, and will + pretend to be spying round the town, and will measure the moat with my + lance, and will get so near the town that I shall be taken prisoner. I am + sure that as soon as the good <i>bailli</i> gets hold of me, he will + condemn me to be hanged, and there is no one in the town who will take my + part for they all hate me. So, early the next morning, I shall be taken + out to the gibbet, (*) and you will all be hidden in the thicket which is + near the gibbet. And as soon as you see me arrive with the procession, you + will spring out upon them, and take whom you like, and deliver me out of + their hands.” All his companions in garrison with him agreed to this + willingly, and told him that if he would dare this adventure, they would + assist him to the best of their power. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The gibbet was usually outside the town, often at some + considerable distance from the walls. +</pre> + <p> + To shorten the story, the simpleton went to Troyes as he had said, and, as + he desired, he was taken prisoner. The report soon spread through the + town, and there was no one who did not say he ought to be hanged; even the + Bailli, as soon as he saw him, swore by all his gods that he should be + hanged by the neck. + </p> + <p> + “Alas! monseigneur,” said the poor fool, “I pray for mercy. I have done + nothing wrong.” + </p> + <p> + “You lie, scoundrel,” said the Bailly. “You have guided the Burgundians + into this district, and you have accused the citizens and merchants of + this city. You shall have your reward, for you shall be hanged on a + gibbet.” + </p> + <p> + “For God’s sake then, monseigneur,” said the poor fellow; “since I must + die, at least let it please you that it be in the early morning; so that, + as I have many acquaintances in the town, I may not be held up to public + opprobrium.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said the Bailly, “I will think about it.” + </p> + <p> + The next morning at day-break, the hangman with his cart came to the + prison, and hardly had he arrived than there came the Bailly with his + sergeants, and a great crowd of people to accompany them, and the poor + fellow was laid, bound, on the cart, and still holding the bagpipe he was + accustomed to play. Thus he was led to the gibbet, accompanied by a larger + crowd than most have at their hanging, so much was he hated in the town. + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that his comrades of the garrison of Sainte Menehould + had not forgotten their ambuscade, and ever since midnight had been + collected near the gibbet, to save their friend, although he was not + overwise, and also to capture prisoners and whatever else they could. When + they arrived they took up their position, and put a sentinel in a tree to + watch when the Troyes folk should be gathered round the gibbet. The + sentinel was placed in his position, and promised that he would keep a + good watch. + </p> + <p> + Then all the crowd came to the gibbet, and the Bailli gave order to + despatch the poor fool, who for his part wondered where his comrades were, + and why they did not rush out on these rascally Armagnacs. + </p> + <p> + He did not feel at all comfortable, and he looked all round, but chiefly + towards the wood, but he heard nothing. He made his confession last as + long as he could, but at last the priest went away, and the poor fellow + had to mount the ladder, and from this elevated position, God knows that + he looked often towards the wood; but it was of no avail, for the + sentinel, who was to give the signal when the men were to rush out, had + gone to sleep in the tree. + </p> + <p> + The poor fellow did not know what to say or do, and verily believed that + his last hour had come. The hangman began to make preparations to put the + noose round the victim’s neck, who, when he saw that, bethought him of a + trick, which turned out well for him, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur le Bailli, I beg you for God’s sake, that before the hangman + lays hands on me, I may be allowed to play a tune on my bagpipe. That is + all I ask; after that I shall be ready to die, and I pardon you and all + the others for having caused my death.” + </p> + <p> + His request was granted, and the bagpipe was handed up to him. As soon as + he had it, he began, as leisurely as he could, to play an air which all + his comrades knew very well, and which was called. “You stay too long, + Robin; you stay too long.” + </p> + <p> + At the sound of the bagpipe the sentinel woke, and was so startled that he + tumbled out of the tree to the ground, and cried, + </p> + <p> + “They are hanging our comrade! Forward! Forward! make haste!” + </p> + <p> + His comrades were ready, and at the sound of the trumpet they sallied out + of the wood, and rushed upon the Bailly and all the others who were round + the gibbet. + </p> + <p> + The hangman was too frightened to put the rope round the man’s neck and + push him off the ladder, but begged for his own life, which the other + would willingly have granted but it was not in his power. The victim, + however, did something better, for from his place on the ladder he called + out to his comrades, “Capture that man, he is rich; and that one, he is + dangerous.” + </p> + <p> + In short, the Burgundians killed a great number of those who had come out + of Troyes, and captured many others, and saved their man, as you have + heard, but he said that never in all his life had he had such a narrow + escape as on that occasion. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0044" id="linklinkimage-0044"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/76.jpg" width="100%" alt="76.jpg" + title=" Caught in the Act. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0076" id="linklink2H_4_0076"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="76pg (131K)" src="images/76pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-SIXTH — CAUGHT IN THE ACT. <a + href="#linklinknote-76" name="linklinknoteref-76" id="linklinknoteref-76">76</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of the chaplain to a knight of Burgundy who was enamoured of the + wench of the said knight, and of the adventure which happened on account + of his amour, as you will hear below.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I have often heard related, by people worthy of credit, a curious history, + which will furnish me a tale without my adding or suppressing one word + that is not needed. + </p> + <p> + Amongst the knights of Burgundy was formerly one, who, contrary to the + custom of the country, kept in his castle—which I will not name—a + fair wench to serve as his mistress. + </p> + <p> + His chaplain, who was young and frisky, seeing this nice wench, was not so + virtuous but that he felt tempted, and fell in love with her, and when he + saw his opportunity, told her of his love. The damsel, who was as sharp as + mustard, for she had knocked about so much that no one in the world knew + more than she did, thought to herself that if she granted the priest’s + request her master would hear of it, however much she tried to conceal it, + and thus she would lose the greater for the less. + </p> + <p> + So she determined to relate the affair to her master, who when he heard of + it did nothing but laugh, for he had partly suspected it, having noticed + the looks, conversation and little love-tricks that passed between the + two. Nevertheless, he ordered the wench to lead the priest on, without, + however, granting him her favours; and she did it so well that the priest + fell into the trap. The knight used often to say him; + </p> + <p> + “By God, sir, you are too friendly with my chamber-wench. I do not know + what there is between you two, but if it is anything to my prejudice, by + Our Lady, I will punish the two of you.” + </p> + <p> + “In truth, monseigneur,” replied the Dominie. “I do not pretend to expect + anything from her. I talk to her to pass the time, as everyone else in the + house does, but never in my life would I seek her love, or anything of the + kind.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said the lord, “if it were otherwise I should not be best + pleased.” + </p> + <p> + If the Dominie had importuned her before, he now pursued her more than + ever, and wherever he met the wench he pressed her so closely that she was + obliged, whether she would or not, to listen to his requests, and, being + cunning and deceitful, she so played with the priest and encouraged his + love, that for her sake he would have fought Ogier the Dane himself. + </p> + <p> + As soon as she had left him, the whole conversation that had passed + between them was related to her master. + </p> + <p> + To make the farce more amusing, and to deceive his chaplain, he ordered + the girl to appoint a night for him to be in the <i>ruelle</i> of the bed + where they slept. She was to say to him. “As soon as monseigneur is + asleep, I will do what you want; come quietly into the <i>ruelle</i> of + the bed.” + </p> + <p> + “And you must,” he said, “let him do what he likes, and so will I; and I + am sure that when he believes I am asleep, that he will soon have his arms + round you, and I will have ready, near your ——, a noose in + which he will be nicely caught.” + </p> + <p> + The wench was very joyful and satisfied with this arrangement, and gave + the message to the Dominie, who never in his life had been more delighted, + and, without thinking of or imagining peril or danger, entered his + master’s chamber, where the wench and his master slept. He cast all sense + and decency to the winds, and only thought of satisfying his foolish lust,—albeit + it was quite natural. + </p> + <p> + To cut the story short, Master Priest came at the hour appointed, and + crept quietly enough, God knows, into the <i>ruelle</i> of the bed, and + his mistress whispered to him; + </p> + <p> + “Don’t say a word: when monsieur is fast asleep I will touch you, and then + come to me.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good,” he replied. + </p> + <p> + The good knight, who was not asleep, had a great inclination to laugh, but + checked himself, in order not to spoil the joke. As he had proposed and + arranged, he spread his noose where he wished, that is to say round the + spot where the priest wanted to get. + </p> + <p> + All being ready, the Dominie was called, and as gently as he could, + slipped into the bed, and without more ado, mounted on the heap in order + to see the further. (*) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A proverbial expression founded perhaps on some old + story which may be alluded to also in the 12th and 82nd + stories. +</pre> + <p> + As soon as he was lodged there, the good knight drew the cord tightly, and + said aloud, + </p> + <p> + “Ha! scoundrelly priest, is that the sort of man you are?” The priest + tried to run away, but he could not go far, for the instrument he had + tried to tune to the girl’s fiddle was caught in the noose, at which he + was much frightened, and did not know what had happened to him. His master + pulled the cord more tightly, which would have given him great pain if his + fear and alarm had not conquered all other sentiments. + </p> + <p> + In a few moments he came to himself, and felt the pain and cried piteously + for mercy to his master, who had such a strong desire to laugh that he + could scarcely speak. He pulled the priest into the room and said; + </p> + <p> + “Get out, and never come here again! I pardon you in this occasion, but + the second time I shall be inexorable.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, monsieur,” he replied, “I will never do it again. It is all her + fault,” and with that he ran away and the knight went to bed again, and + finished what the other had begun. + </p> + <p> + But you must know that never again was the priest found trespassing on his + master’s preserves. Perhaps, as a recompense for his misfortunes the girl + afterwards took pity on him, and to ease her conscience lent him her + fiddle, and he tuned it so well that the master suffered both in goods and + honour. But now I will say no more, and end my story. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0077" id="linklink2H_4_0077"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="77pg (134K)" src="images/77pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-SEVENTH — THE SLEEVELESS ROBE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Alardin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentleman of Flanders, who went to reside in France, but whilst + he was there his mother was very ill in Flanders; and how he often went + to visit her believing that she would die, and what he said and how he + behaved, as you will hear later.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A gentleman of Flanders had a mother who was very old and much weakened by + disease, and more sick and infirm than any woman of her age. Hoping that + she would get better, and be cured, he often came to see her, although he + resided in France, and each time that he came he found her suffering so + much that he thought her soul was about to leave her body. + </p> + <p> + On one occasion that he came to see her, she said to him at his departure. + </p> + <p> + “Adieu, my son; I am sure that you will never see me again for I am about + to die.” + </p> + <p> + “Devil take it, mother, you have said that so often that I am sick of it. + For three years past you have been repeating that, but you have done + nothing of the kind. Choose a day, I beg, and keep to it.” + </p> + <p> + The good woman, when she heard her son’s reply, smiled, though she was so + sick and old, and said farewell. + </p> + <p> + One year, then two years, passed, and still she lingered on. She was again + visited by her son, and one night when he was in bed in her house, and she + was so ill that all believed she was about to go to Mortaigne, (*) those + who watched her called her son, and told him to come to his mother + quickly, for that certainly she was about to die. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Mild puns on the names of places were very common in the + Middle Ages. +</pre> + <p> + “Do you say that she is about to die?” he replied. “By my soul, I will not + believe it; she always says that, but she never does it.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no,” said the nurses; “this time it is certain. Come quickly for it + is sure that she is dying.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well, you go first and I will follow you; and tell my mother that if + she must go, not to go by Douai, for the road is so bad that I and my + horses were nearly swallowed up yesterday.” + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless he rose, and put on his dressing-gown, and went off to see + his mother give her last grin. When he came he found her very ill, for she + had been in a swoon which all thought would carry her off, but, thank God, + she was now a little better. + </p> + <p> + “Did I not tell you so?” said this good son. “Every body in this house + declares, and she does herself, that she is dying—but nothing comes + of it. For God’s sake choose a day—as I have often told you—and + see that you keep to it! I am going to return whence I came, and I + recommend you not to call me again. If she does die she must die alone, + for I will not keep her company.” + </p> + <p> + Now I must tell you the end of this history. The lady, ill as she was, + recovered from this extreme sickness, and lived and languished as before + for the space of three years, during which time her good son visited her + once, and that was just as she was about to give up the ghost. But when + they came to seek him to come to her deathbed, he was trying on a new + habit and would not come. Message after message was sent to him, for his + good mother, who was nearing her end, wished to recommend her soul to her + son’s care,—but to all the messages he replied; + </p> + <p> + “I am sure there is no hurry: she will wait till my habit is finished.” + </p> + <p> + At last so many remonstrances were made to him that he went to his mother, + wearing a doublet with no sleeves to it, which, when she saw, she asked + him where were the sleeves. + </p> + <p> + “They are within there,—waiting to be finished as soon as you clear + out of the place.” + </p> + <p> + “Then they will be soon finished,” she replied; “for I go to God, to whom + I humbly recommend my soul; and to you also, my son.” + </p> + <p> + Without another word she rendered her soul to God, with the Cross between + her arms; on seeing which her good son began to weep so loudly that no one + had ever heard the like; he could not be comforted, and at the end of a + fortnight he died of grief. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0045" id="linklinkimage-0045"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/78.jpg" width="100%" + alt="78.jpg the Husband Turned Confessor. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0078" id="linklink2H_4_0078"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="78pg (141K)" src="images/78pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-EIGHTH — THE HUSBAND TURNED CONFESSOR. <a + href="#linklinknote-78" name="linklinknoteref-78" id="linklinknoteref-78">78</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Jehan Martin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a married gentleman who made many long voyages, during which time + his good and virtuous wife made the acquaintance of three good fellows, + as you will hear; and how she confessed her amours to her husband when + he returned from his travels, thinking she was confessing to the curé, + and how she excused herself, as will appear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + The province of Brabant is a fair and pleasant land, well provided with + pretty girls, who are generally clever and good; but as for the men, it is + said of them, with a good deal of truth, that the longer they live the + greater fools they become. + </p> + <p> + There was formerly a gentleman of this land who—being thereunto born + and destined—travelled much beyond seas to various places, as + Cyprus, Rhodes, and the adjacent parts, and at last came to Jerusalem, + where he received the order of knighthood. + </p> + <p> + During the time that he was away, his good wife was not idle, but took her + <i>quoniam</i> with three lovers, who like courtiers, each had audience in + turn and for a certain time. + </p> + <p> + First came a gentle squire, fresh and frisky, and in good health, who + spent so much upon her, physically and pecuniarily (for in truth she + plucked him well) that at last he was sick of it, and left her altogether. + </p> + <p> + The one who came after him was a knight, and a man of a great reputation, + who was very glad to have acquired the succession, and worked her as well + as he could, paying his <i>quibus</i> (*), which no one knew better than + this lusty wench how to get out of a man. In short, if the squire, who had + previously held the position, had been plucked, the knight was not less + so, until at last he turned tail, took leave of her, and left the place + open to the next comer. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Property or wealth; the expression is still used in + familiar conversation. +</pre> + <p> + As a tit-bit to finish with, the damsel made the acquaintance of a rich + priest, and although he was cunning enough, and not over liberal with + money, he was despoiled of rich gowns, vessels, and other valuables. + </p> + <p> + Now it happened, thank God, that the husband of the wench let her know + that he was coming home; and how he had been made a knight at Jerusalem. + His good wife had the house cleaned and prepared as well as possible. + Everything was ready for his return, except the lady, and she was somewhat + disturbed on account of the vast quantity of booty—tapestry, + furniture, vessels, and other valuables—which she had gained upon + her back. + </p> + <p> + When her husband arrived, God knows what a joyful reception he had, + especially from the one who cared least about him, that is to say his + worthy wife. + </p> + <p> + I pass over all the welcomings, but her husband, although he was a fool, + could not help quickly noticing the heap of furniture, which was not there + at his departure. He went to the coffers, the buffets, and a number of + other places, and everywhere he found his store increased, and the sight + of all this booty filled his mind with evil thoughts, and in a hot temper + he called for his wife, and demanded to know whence had come all these + goods I have already-named. + </p> + <p> + “By St. John,” said the lady, “that is a nice question. You have good + reason to go on like this and get so warm. To look at you one would think + you were cross.” + </p> + <p> + “I am not in the best of tempers,” he replied; “for I did not leave you so + much money that you could have saved enough to buy all these utensils, + hangings, and the other things that I find here. I suspect, with good + reason, that our household has been increased by some friend of yours + during my absence.” + </p> + <p> + “By God!” replied the lady, “you are wrong to suspect me of such + misconduct. I would have you to know that I am not a woman of that kind, + but a better wife in every respect than you deserve; and it is not right + that after all the trouble I have taken to save and economise to embellish + and adorn your house and mine, that I should be reproved and scolded. That + is not at all the sort of reward that a good husband should give to a + chaste wife such as you have, you wicked wretch. It is a great pity I have + not been unfaithful to you, and I would be if I did not value my honour + and my soul.” + </p> + <p> + This quarrel, though it lasted a long while, ceased for a time, for the + husband thought of a plan how to find out the truth about his wife. He + arranged with the curé, who was a great friend of his, that he should hear + her confession, and this he did with the help of the curé, who managed the + whole affair, for one morning in Easter week, the curé made the husband + put on the priest’s robe, and then sent word to the lady to come and + confess. + </p> + <p> + It need not be asked if the husband was glad when he found himself thus + disguised. He went to the chapel, and entered the confessional without + saying a word; his wife approached and knelt at his feet, really believing + she was confessing to the curé, and said <i>Benedicite</i>. To this her + husband replied <i>Dominus</i>, as the curé had taught him, and whatever + else was necessary, as well as he could manage it. + </p> + <p> + After the good woman had made a general confession, she descended to + particulars, and told how, during the time that her husband had been away, + a squire had been his deputy, and from him she had acquired much property, + in gold, in silver, and in furniture. + </p> + <p> + God knows that the husband, when he heard this confession did not feel + very comfortable; he would willingly have killed her on the spot if he had + dared, nevertheless he was patient in order that he might hear the rest. + </p> + <p> + When she had said all there was to say about the squire, she accused + herself of misconduct with the knight, who, like his predecessor, had paid + her well. The good husband, nearly bursting with grief, had a good mind to + discover himself and give her absolution without more ado, but he did + nothing of the kind, and waited to hear what more she would say. + </p> + <p> + After the knight came the turn of the priest, and at this the good husband + lost patience and would hear no more; he threw aside hood and gown, and, + showing himself said; + </p> + <p> + “False and perfidious woman! now I see and know your treason! And would + not a squire and a knight suffice you, but you must give yourself up to a + priest? This vexes me more than all the other sins you have committed.” + </p> + <p> + For a moment this brave dame was taken aback, but soon recovered her + confidence, and with a face as calm as though she had been the most just + and virtuous woman in the world, saying her prayers to God, she replied as + calmly as though the Holy Spirit had inspired her, + </p> + <p> + “Poor fool! why do you thus worry yourself, you know not wherefore? Listen + to me, if you please; and be assured that I knew perfectly well that I was + confessing to you. I served you as you deserved, and without one word of + falsehood confessed to you the real circumstances. These are the facts: + you are the squire who slept with me, for when I married you, you were a + squire, and did with me as you wished; you are the knight of whom I spoke, + for on your return you made me a lady; and you are the priest also, for no + one who is not a priest can hear a confession.” + </p> + <p> + “By my oath, my dear,” he replied, “you have convinced me, and proved to + me that you are a virtuous woman and that I was wrong to accuse you. I + repent, and ask your pardon, and promise never to suspect you again.” + </p> + <p> + “I willingly pardon you,” said his wife, “since you confess your fault.” + </p> + <p> + Thus, as you have heard, was the good knight deceived by the ready wit of + his wife. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0079" id="linklink2H_4_0079"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="79pg (137K)" src="images/79pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE SEVENTY-NINTH — THE LOST ASS FOUND. <a + href="#linklinknote-79" name="linklinknoteref-79" id="linklinknoteref-79">79</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Michault De Changy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a good man of Bourbonnais who went to seek the advice of a wise + man of that place about an ass that he had lost, and how he believed + that he miraculously recovered the said ass, as you will hear hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the fair land of Bourbonnais, where many good professions are carried + on, there lived, not long ago, a doctor of God knows what sort, for never + Hippocrates or Galen practised the science as he did. For instead of + syrups, decoctions, electuaries, and the hundred thousand other things + that physicians order to preserve the health of man, or restore it if it + is lost, this good doctor of whom I am speaking had only one method of + procedure, and that was to order clysters. Whatever matter was brought to + him, (*) he always exhibited clysters, and generally so well did this + remedy turn out that everyone was satisfied with him, and he cured them + all, so that his fame spread abroad and increased in such a manner that he + was called “Master” Jehan (**) by all, both in the houses of princes and + lords, and in the great abbeys, and in the towns, and never was Aristotle + or Galen so honoured, especially by the common people, as was our said + Master. And his fame so increased that his advice was asked on every + subject, and he was so incessantly in demand that he did not know what to + do. If a woman had a bad, or whimsical, or capricious husband, she went to + this good master for a remedy. In short, if any could give good advice it + was thought that our physician was at the top of the tree in that respect, + and people came to him from all parts to enquire about lost property. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) It was usual to bring the urine of an invalid to the + physician. + + (**) “Master” was then a title of honour. +</pre> + <p> + It happened one day that a poor foolish countryman had lost his ass, and + after seeking for it a long time, he determined to go to the wise man, who + when he arrived was so surrounded by people that the countryman could not + make himself heard. At last he broke through the crowd, and, in the + presence of many persons, related his case, that is to say that he had + lost his ass, and asked the doctor to get it back for him. + </p> + <p> + The master, who was listening to others more than to him, just heard the + sound of the words, and thinking he had some infirmity, turned towards + him, and in order to get rid of him, said to his servants, + </p> + <p> + “Give him a clyster!” + </p> + <p> + The poor man who had lost his ass, did not know what the master had said, + but he was seized by the physician’s servants, who led him away and gave + him a clyster—at which he was much astonished, for he did not know + what it was. + </p> + <p> + When he had this clyster in his belly, he went away, without saying + anything more about his ass, which he fully believed he should recover. + </p> + <p> + He had not gone far when his belly was so tossed about that he was forced + to turn aside into a deserted hut, because of the clyster which demanded + to be let out. And when he began, he made such a terrible noise, that his + ass, which chanced to be straying near, began to bray, and the good man + rose up and cried, <i>Te Deum laudamus</i>, and went to his ass, which he + believed he had found by means of the clyster which he had had from the + Master, who after that had incomparably more renown than ever; for he was + looked-upon as the sure finder of all lost goods, and the perfect master + of all science, and all this fame sprang from a single clyster. + </p> + <p> + Thus have you heard how the ass was found by means of a clyster; it is a + manifest fact, and one that often happens. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0046" id="linklinkimage-0046"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/80.jpg" width="100%" alt="80.jpg" title=" Good Measure! " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0080" id="linklink2H_4_0080"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="80pg (140K)" src="images/80pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTIETH — GOOD MEASURE! <a href="#linklinknote-80" name="linklinknoteref-80" id="linklinknoteref-80">80</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Michault De Changy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a young German girl, aged fifteen or sixteen or thereabouts who + was married to a gentle gallant, and who complained that her husband had + too small an organ for her liking, because she had seen a young ass of + only six months old which had a bigger instrument than her husband, who + was 24 or 26 years old.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + I have heard it related as true by two noble lords worthy of faith and + belief, that in the borders of Germany there lived a young girl, who at + the age of about 15 or 16 years was married to a worthy gentleman, who did + his best to satisfy the demands which, without saying a word, all girls of + that age and condition earnestly ask for. But though the poor man did his + duty well, and indeed more often than he should, the performance was never + agreeable to his wife, who was always sulky, and often wept as sadly as + though all her friends were dead. Her good husband, seeing her thus + lament, could not imagine what she could want, and asked her tenderly; + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter, my dear? Are you not as well clothed, lodged, and + served, as people in our position of life can reasonably expect to be?” + </p> + <p> + “It is not that which vexes me,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “Then what can it be?” he asked. “Tell me, and if I can remedy it, I will, + at whatever cost to my purse or person.” + </p> + <p> + Generally, she did not reply, but still sulked, and looked miserable, at + which her husband lost his patience, finding she would not tell him the + cause of her grief. But he enquired so often that at last he learned + partly what was the matter, for she told him that she was vexed because he + was so poorly furnished with you-know-what—that is to say the stick + with which you plant men, as Boccaccio calls it. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed!” said he, “and is that why you grieve? By St. Martin you have + good cause! At any rate it cannot be other than it is, and you must put up + with it, since you cannot change it.” + </p> + <p> + This condition of affairs lasted a long time, till the husband, tired of + her obstinacy, one day invited to dinner a great number of her friends, + and stated the facts which have been already related, and said that it + seemed to him that she had no particular cause to grieve, for he believed + he was as well furnished with a natural instrument as any of his + neighbours. + </p> + <p> + “And that I may be the better believed,” he said, “and that you may see + how wrong she is, I will show it you all.” + </p> + <p> + With that he laid his furniture on the table before all the men and women + there assembled, and said; “There it is!” and his wife wept louder than + ever. + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said her mother, her sister, her aunt, her cousin, and her + neighbour, “you are wrong, my dear! What do you ask? Do you expect more? + Who would not be satisfied with a husband so furnished? So help me God I + should deem myself very happy to have as much, or indeed less. Be + comforted and enjoy yourself in future! By God, you are better off than + any of us I believe.” + </p> + <p> + The young bride, hearing all the women thus speak, replied, still weeping + loudly. + </p> + <p> + “There is a little ass in the house, hardly half a year old, and who has + an instrument as big, as thick, and as long as your arm,”—and so + saying she held her arm by the elbow and shook it up and down—“and + my husband, who is quite 24 years old has but that little bit he has shown + you. Do you think I ought to be satisfied?” Everyone began to laugh, and + she to weep the more, so that for a long time not a word was said by any + of the company. Then her mother took the girl aside, and said one thing + and another to her, and left her satisfied after a great deal of trouble. + </p> + <p> + That is the way with the girls in Germany—if God pleases it will + soon be the same also in France. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0081" id="linklink2H_4_0081"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="81pg (141K)" src="images/81pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-FIRST — BETWEEN TWO STOOLS. <a + href="#linklinknote-81" name="linklinknoteref-81" id="linklinknoteref-81">81</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Waurin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a noble knight who was in love with a beautiful young married + lady, and thought himself in her good graces, and also in those of + another lady, her neighbour; but lost both as is afterwards recorded.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + As all the stories of asses are now finished, I will relate shortly a true + story of a knight whom many of you noble lords have long known. It is true + that this knight was greatly in love—as is often the way with young + men—with a beautiful and noble young lady, who, in that part of the + country where she lived was renowned for her beauty. Nevertheless, try + what means he could to obtain her favours, and become her accepted lover, + he could not succeed—at which he was much displeased, seeing that + never was woman loved more ardently, loyally, and wholly than she was. Nor + should I omit to say that he did as much for her as ever lover did for his + lady, such as jousts, expensive habiliments, etc.—nevertheless, as + has been said, he found her always brusque and averse, and showing him + less love than she reasonably should, for she knew for a fact that she was + loyally and dearly loved by him. And, to say truth, she was too harsh to + him, which, it is to be believed, proceeded from pride, of which she had + too much—it might even be said, with which she was filled. + </p> + <p> + Matters were in this condition, when another lady, a friend and neighbour + of the first-named damsel, seeing how enamoured the knight was, fell in + love with him herself, and by various honest ways and means which would + take too long to describe, so subtly managed that in a short time the + knight perceived her love, at which he was much vexed, his heart being + wholly given to his harsh and cruel mistress. + </p> + <p> + Being not only kind, but possessed of much common sense he managed + adroitly not to compromise himself, so that if his second love affair had + come to the knowledge of his first mistress, she would have no cause to + blame his conduct. + </p> + <p> + Now listen to the end of his amours. Owing to the distance at which he + lived, he could not so often see his lady-love as his trusting and loving + heart desired. So he determined one day to ask certain knights and + squires, good friends of his, but who knew nothing about his love affairs, + to fly their hawks, and hunt the hare in the district in which the lady + resided, knowing for a fact by his spies, that her husband was away, + having gone to Court, as he often did. + </p> + <p> + As had been arranged, the love-sick knight and his companions started the + next day, early in the morning, from the town where the Court was, and + passed the time until the late afternoon in hunting the hare, and without + eating or drinking. They snatched a hasty repast in a little village, and + after the dinner, which was short and simple, remounted their horses and + continued to hunt the hare. + </p> + <p> + The good knight, who had only one object in view, led his companions from + the city, to which they always wished to return and said to him, “The hour + of vespers is near and it is time to return to the town. If we do not take + care we shall be locked out, and have to stay the night in some miserable + village and all die of hunger.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t be alarmed,” said the lover; “there is plenty of time, and at the + worst I know a place near here where we shall be very welcome, and I + suppose you will have no objection to meeting ladies.” + </p> + <p> + Being all courtiers, thy were not at all disinclined to meet ladies, and + were satisfied to leave the matter in his hands, and continued to hunt the + hare and the partridge as long as daylight lasted. + </p> + <p> + When it was time to think of finding lodgings, the knight said to his + companions, + </p> + <p> + “Come along, come along! I will lead you to the place.” About an hour or + two after nightfall, the knight and his comrades arrived at the place + where lived the lady with whom the guide of this little band was so + enamoured that he could not sleep o’nights. They knocked at the door of + the castle, and the varlets quickly came and asked them what they wanted. + And he who was the most deeply concerned, answered and said; “Gentlemen, + are my lord and my lady at home?” “Truly,” replied one of the attendants + for all the others, “my lord is not here, but my lady is.” + </p> + <p> + “Tell her if you please, that such and such knights and squires of the + Court, and I, so-and-so, have been hunting the hare in this part of the + country, and have lost our way, and now it is too late to return to the + town. We beg her therefore to receive us as her guests for this night.” + </p> + <p> + “Willingly will I tell her,” said the other. + </p> + <p> + He went and delivered this message to his mistress, who, instead of coming + to the gentlemen, sent a message, which the servant thus delivered. + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur,” said the varlet, “my lady wishes me to inform you that her + husband is not here; at which she is much vexed, for if he had been he + would have given you a hearty welcome; but in his absence she does not + dare to receive visitors, and begs you therefore to pardon her.” + </p> + <p> + The knight, who had led the expedition, was, you may imagine, much vexed + and ashamed to hear this reply, for he expected to have seen his mistress, + and had a pleasant time with her, and emptied his heart to her, and he was + annoyed that he had brought his companions to a place where he had boasted + they would be well received. + </p> + <p> + Like a wise and noble knight, he did not show what he felt in his heart, + but with a calm countenance said to his comrades, + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, pardon me that I have lured you with false hopes. I did not + believe that the ladies of this part of the country were so wanting in + courtesy as to refuse a lodging to wandering knights. But have a little + patience. I promise you on my word, to take you somewhere—not far + from here—where we shall have quite a different welcome.” + </p> + <p> + “Forward then!” said all the others. “May God give us good luck.” + </p> + <p> + They set off, under the direction of their guide, to take them to the + house of the lady by whom he was esteemed, though he did not return her + affection as he ought to have done; but now he determined to devote to her + the love which had been so roughly refused by his first mistress, and he + determined to love, serve, and obey her who loved him so, and with whom, + please God, he would soon be. + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, after riding for a good hour and a half with the + drenching rain on their backs, they came to the house of the lady who has + previously being mentioned, and gaily knocked at the door, for it was very + late,—between nine and ten o’clock at night, and they much feared + that all the household would be in bed. Varlets and servant maids at once + came forth, and asked, “Who is there?” and they were told. + </p> + <p> + They went at once to their mistress, who was then in her petticoat, and + had put on her nightcap, and said, + </p> + <p> + “Madame, my lord so-and-so is at the gate and would fain enter; and with + him certain knights and squires of the Court to the number of three.” + </p> + <p> + “They are very welcome,” she said. “Up quickly, all of you! Kill some + capons and fowls, and let us have a good supper, and quickly.” + </p> + <p> + In short, she gave her orders like the great lady that she was—and + still is,—and all obeyed her commands. She quickly put on her + night-dress, and thus attired, came forward, as courteously as possible, + to meet the gentlemen, with two torches carried before her, and only + accompanied by one waiting woman, and her beautiful daughter—all the + other women being employed in preparing the chambers. + </p> + <p> + She met her guests upon the drawbridge of the castle, and the noble knight + who was the guide and spokesman of the others, came forward and expressed + his gratitude for her kindness, and kissed her, and all the others did the + same after him. + </p> + <p> + Then like a courteous woman of the world, she said to the lords, + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, you are very welcome. Monseigneur So-and-so (that is to say + their guide) I have known a long time. He is very welcome here, and I + should be glad to make the acquaintance of you other gentlemen.” + </p> + <p> + These introductions were made, the supper was soon ready, and each of the + gentlemen lodged in a fair and fine chamber, well appointed and furnished + with hangings and everything necessary. + </p> + <p> + It should be mentioned also, that whilst supper was preparing, the lady + and the good knight had a long talk together, and arranged that they would + only require one bed between them that night; her husband by good luck not + being in the house, but forty leagues away. + </p> + <p> + We will leave them enjoying their supper after the adventures of the day, + and return to the lady who refused to receive the little band, even the + man whom she knew loved her better than anyone else in the world, and had + shown herself so discourteous. + </p> + <p> + She asked her servants, when they returned from delivering her message, + what the knight had said? + </p> + <p> + One of them replied: “Madame he said very little; only that he would take + his friends to a place where they would have a hearty welcome and good + cheer.” + </p> + <p> + She quickly guessed where they had gone, and said to herself, “Ah, he has + gone to the house of such an one, who, I know, will not be sorry to see + him, and no doubt they are now plotting against me.” + </p> + <p> + Whilst she was thinking thus, the harshness and un-kindness which she had + felt towards her faithful lover, melted away or was transformed into + hearty affection and good-will, and she longed to bestow upon her lover + whatever he might ask or require. So she at once set to work and + suspecting that the lady to whom they had gone was now enjoying the + society of the man she had treated so rudely, she penned a letter to her + lover, most of the lines of which were written in her most precious blood, + to the effect that as soon as he saw this letter, he should set all other + matters aside, and follow the bearer of the missive, and he would be so + kindly received that no lover in the world could expect more from his + mistress. And as a token of her truth, she placed inside the letter a + diamond ring he well knew. + </p> + <p> + The bearer of this missive, who was a trustworthy man, went to the castle + where the knight was sitting at supper next to the hostess, and with all + the guests seated round the table. As soon as grace had been said, the + messenger drew the knight aside and handed him the letter. + </p> + <p> + Having perused it, the good knight was much amazed, and still more joyous, + for though he had determined in his own mind no longer to seek the love or + acquaintance of the writer of the letter, he still felt tempted when the + letter promised him that which he most desired in the world. + </p> + <p> + He took his hostess aside, and told her that his master had sent an urgent + message, and that he must leave at once—at which he pretended to + feel much vexed,—and she, who had before been so joyful in the + expectation of that she so much desired, became sad and sorrowful. + </p> + <p> + He quietly mounted his horse, and leaving all his comrades behind, arrived + with the messenger, soon after midnight, at the castle of the lady, but + her husband had just arrived from Court and was then preparing to go to + bed, and she, who had sent specially to fetch her lover, was disappointed + enough, God knows. + </p> + <p> + The good knight, who had been all day in the saddle, either hunting the + hare or seeking for lodgings, heard at the door that the lady’s husband + had arrived, and you may guess how joyful he was at the news. + </p> + <p> + He asked his guide what was to be done? They consulted together, and it + was decided that he should pretend to have lost his companions, and, by + good chance, met this messenger, who had brought him to the castle. This + being arranged, he was brought before my lord and my lady, and acted his + part as he well knew how. After having quaffed a cup of wine—which + did him very little good—he was led to his bed-chamber, where he + scarcely slept all night, and, early the next morning, returned with his + host to Court, without having tasted any of the delights which were + promised him in the letter. + </p> + <p> + And I may add that he was never able to return there again, for soon + afterwards the Court left that part of the country, and he went with it, + and soon forgot all about the lady—as often happens. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0082" id="linklink2H_4_0082"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="82pg (137K)" src="images/82pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-SECOND — BEYOND THE MARK. <a href="#linklinknote-82" name="linklinknoteref-82" id="linklinknoteref-82">82</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Lannoy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a shepherd who made an agreement with a shepherdess that he should + mount upon her “in order that he might see farther,” but was not to + penetrate beyond a mark which she herself made with her hand upon the + instrument of the said shepherd—as will more plainly appear + hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Listen, if you please, to what happened, near Lille, to a shepherd and + young shepherdess who tended their flocks together, or near each other. + </p> + <p> + Nature had already stirred in them, and they were of an age to know “the + way of the world”, so one day an agreement was made between them that the + shepherd should mount on the shepherdess “in order to see farther”,—provided, + however, that he should not penetrate beyond a mark which she made with + her hand upon the natural instrument of the shepherd, and which was about + two fingers’ breadth below the head; and the mark was made with a + blackberry taken from the hedge. + </p> + <p> + That being done, they began God’s work, and the shepherd pushed in as + though it had cost him no trouble, and without thinking about any mark or + sign, or the promise he had made to the shepherdess, for all that he had + he buried up to the hilt, and if he had had more he would have found a + place to put it. + </p> + <p> + The pretty shepherdess, who had never had such a wedding, enjoyed herself + so much that she would willingly have done nothing else all her life. The + battle being ended, both went to look after their sheep, which had + meanwhile strayed some distance. They being brought together again, the + shepherd, who was called Hacquin, to pass the time, sat in a swing set up + between two hedges, and there he swung, as happy as a king. + </p> + <p> + The shepherdess sat by the side of a ditch, and made a wreath of flowers. + She sang a little song, hoping that it would attract the shepherd, and he + would begin the game over again—but that was very far from his + thoughts. When she found he did not come, she began to call, “Hacquin! + Hacquin!” + </p> + <p> + And he replied, “What do you want?” + </p> + <p> + “Come here! come here! will you?” she said. + </p> + <p> + But Hacquin had had a surfeit of pleasure and he replied; + </p> + <p> + “In God’s name leave me alone. I am doing nothing; and enjoying myself.” + </p> + <p> + Then the shepherdess cried; + </p> + <p> + “Come here, Hacquin; I will let you go in further, without making any + mark.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John,” said Hacquin, “I went far beyond the mark, and I do not + want any more.” + </p> + <p> + He would not go to the shepherdess, who was much vexed to have to remain + idle. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0047" id="linklinkimage-0047"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/83.jpg" width="100%" alt="83.jpg" + title="The Gluttonous Monk. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0083" id="linklink2H_4_0083"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="83pg (134K)" src="images/83pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-THIRD — THE GLUTTONOUS MONK. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Vaurin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a Carmelite monk who came to preach at a village and after his + sermon, he went to dine with a lady, and how he stuffed out his gown, as + you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is the custom of all countries for religious mendicants—Jacobins, + Cordeliers, Carmelites, and Augustinians—to go through all the towns + and villages, preaching against vice, and exalting and praising virtue. + </p> + <p> + It happened once that a Carmelite, from the convent of Arras, arrived one + Sunday morning, at Libers, a pretty, little town of Artois, to preach—which + he could do piously and eloquently, for he was a learned man and a good + orator. + </p> + <p> + Whilst the curé was chanting high Mass, our Carmelite wandered about, + hoping to find some one who wanted a Mass said, whereby the monk could + earn a few pence, but no one came forward. + </p> + <p> + Seeing this, an old widow lady took compassion on him, allowed him to say + a Mass, and then sent her servant to give him two <i>patars</i>, and to + beg him to come to dinner with her that day. + </p> + <p> + Master monk snapped up the money, and accepted the invitation, and as soon + as he had preached his sermon, and high Mass was finished, he came. + </p> + <p> + The lady for whom he had said Mass, and who had invited him, left the + church with her maid, and went home to make all ready for the preacher, + who was conducted to the house by one of her servants, and most + courteously received. After he had washed his hands, the lady assigned him + a place by her side, and the varlet and the maid-servant prepared to serve + the repast, and first they brought in leek soup, with a good piece of + bacon, a dish of pig’s chitterlings, and an ox tongue, roasted. + </p> + <p> + God knows that as soon as the monk saw the viands he drew forth from his + girdle a fine, long, large, and very sharp knife, and, as he said <i>Benedicite</i>, + he set to work in the leek soup. + </p> + <p> + Very soon he had finished that and the bacon as well, and drew towards him + the fine, fat chitterlings, and rioted amongst them like a wolf amongst a + flock of sheep; and before his hostess had half finished her soup there + was not the ghost of a chitterling left in the dish. Then he took the ox + tongue, and with his sharp knife cut off so many slices that not a morsel + remained. + </p> + <p> + The lady, who watched all this without saying a word, often glanced at the + varlet and the servant-maid, and they smiled quietly and glanced at her. + Then they brought a piece of good salt beef, and a capital piece of + mutton, and put them on the table. And the good monk, who had an appetite + like a hungry dog, attacked the beef, and if he had had little pity for + the chitterlings and the ox tongue, still less had he for this fine piece + of larded beef. + </p> + <p> + His hostess who took great pleasure in seeing him eat—which was more + than the varlet and the maid, did for they cursed him beneath their breath—always + filled his cup as soon as it was empty; and you may guess that if he did + not spare the meat neither did he spare the drink. + </p> + <p> + He was in such a hurry to line his gown that he would hardly say a word. + When the beef was all finished, and great part of the mutton—of + which his hostess had scarcely eaten a mouthful—she, seeing that her + guest was not yet satisfied, made a sign to the servant-maid to bring a + huge ham which had been cooked the day before for the household. + </p> + <p> + The maid—cursing the priest for gorging so—obeyed the order of + her mistress, and put the ham on the table. The good monk, without staying + to ask “who goes there”, fell upon it tooth and nail, and at the very + first attack he carried off the knuckle, then the thick end, and so + dismembered it that soon there was nothing left but the bone. + </p> + <p> + The serving man and woman did not laugh much at this, for he had entirely + cleared the larder, and they were half afraid that he would eat them as + well. + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story—after all these before mentioned dishes, the + lady caused to be placed on the table a fine fat cheese, and a dish well + furnished with tarts, apples, and cheeses, with a good piece of fresh + butter—of all which there was not a scrap left to take away. + </p> + <p> + The dinner which has been described being thus finished, our preacher, who + was now as round as a tick, pronounced grace, and then said to his + hostess; + </p> + <p> + “Damsel, I thank you for your good gifts; you have given me a hearty + welcome, for which I am much obliged to you. I will pray to Him who fed + five thousand men with a few loaves of barley bread and two small fishes, + and after they were all filled there remained over twelve basketfuls—I + will pray to Him to reward you.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. John!” said the maid-servant coming forward, “you may well talk + about that. I believe that if you had been one of that multitude there + would not have been anything left over; for you would have eaten up + everything, and me into the bargain, if I had happened to have been + there.” + </p> + <p> + “No, truly, my dear,” replied the monk, who was a jovial fellow with a + ready wit, “I should not have eaten you, but I should have spitted you, + and put you down to roast—that is what I should have done to you.” + </p> + <p> + The lady began to laugh, and so did the varlet and the maid-servant, in + spite of themselves. And our monk, who had his belly well stuffed, again + thanked his hostess for having so well filled him, and went off to another + village to earn his supper—but whether that was as good as his + dinner I cannot say. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0048" id="linklinkimage-0048"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/84.jpg" width="100%" alt="84.jpg" + title="The Devil’s Share. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0084" id="linklink2H_4_0084"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="84pg (123K)" src="images/84pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-FOURTH — THE DEVIL’S SHARE. <a + href="#linklinknote-84" name="linklinknoteref-84" id="linklinknoteref-84">84</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By The Marquis De Rothelin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of one of his marshals who married the sweetest and most lovable + woman there was in all Germany. Whether what I tell you is true—for + I do not swear to it that I may not be considered a liar—you will + see more plainly below.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Whilst we are waiting tor some one to come forward and tell us a good + story, I will relate a little one which will not detain you long, but is + quite true, and happened lately. + </p> + <p> + I had a marshal, who had served me long and faithfully, and who determined + to get a wife, and was married to the most ill-tempered woman in all the + country; and when he found that neither by good means or bad could he cure + her of her evil temper, he left her, and would not live with her, but + avoided her as he would a tempest, for if he knew she was in any place he + would go in the contrary direction. When she saw that he avoided her, and + that he gave her no opportunity of displaying her temper, she went in + search of him, and followed him, crying God knows what, whilst he held his + tongue and pursued his road, and this only made her worse and she bestowed + more curses and maledictions on her poor husband than a devil would on a + damned soul. + </p> + <p> + One day she, finding that her husband did not reply a word to anything she + said, followed him through the street, crying as loud as she could before + all the people; + </p> + <p> + “Come here, traitor! speak to me. I belong to you. I belong to you!” + </p> + <p> + And my marshal replied each time; “I give my share to the devil! I give my + share to the devil.” + </p> + <p> + Thus they went all through the town of Lille, she crying all the while “I + belong to you,” and the other replying “I give my share to the devil.” + </p> + <p> + Soon afterwards, so God willed, this good woman died, and my marshal was + asked if he were much grieved at the loss of his wife, and he replied that + never had such a piece of luck occurred to him, and if God had promised + him anything he might wish, he would have wished for his wife’s death; + “for she,” he said, “was so wicked and malicious that if I knew she were + in paradise I would not go there, for there could be no peace in any place + where she was. But I am sure that she is in hell, for never did any + created thing more resemble a devil than she did.” Then they said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Really you ought to marry again. You should look out for some good, + quiet, honest woman.” + </p> + <p> + “Marry?” said he. “I would rather go and hang myself on a gibbet than + again run the danger of finding such a hell as I have—thank God—now + escaped from.” + </p> + <p> + Thus he lived, and still lives—but I know not what he will be. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0085" id="linklink2H_4_0085"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="85pg (134K)" src="images/85pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-FIFTH — NAILED! <a href="#linklinknote-85" name="linklinknoteref-85" id="linklinknoteref-85">85</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Santilly. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a goldsmith, married to a fair, kind, and gracious lady, and very + amorous withal of a curé, her neighbour, with whom her husband found her + in bed, they being betrayed by one of the goldsmith’s servants, who was + jealous, as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A hundred years ago, or thereabouts, there happened in a town on the + borders of France a curious incident, which I will relate, to increase my + number of stories, and also because it deserves to rank with the others. + </p> + <p> + In this town there was a man whose wife was fair, kind, and gracious, and + much enamoured of a churchman, her own curé and near neighbour, who loved + her as much as she did him, but to find an opportunity to come together + amorously was difficult, but it was at last found by the ingenuity of the + lady, in the manner I will describe. + </p> + <p> + Her husband was a goldsmith, and so greedy of gain that he would never + sleep an hour in which he could work. + </p> + <p> + Every day he would rise an hour or two before dawn, and let his wife take + a long rest till eight or nine o’clock, or as long as she pleased. + </p> + <p> + This amorous dame seeing how diligent her husband was, and that he rose + early every day to hammer and work, determined to employ with the curé the + time during which she was neglected by her husband, and arranged that at + such and such an hour her lover could visit her without her husband’s + knowledge, for the cure’s house stood next to hers. + </p> + <p> + This happy expedient was proposed to the curé, who gladly accepted it, for + it seemed to him that his amour could be carried on easily and secretly. + So as soon as the proposal was made it was executed, and thus they + continued to live for a long time; but fortune—envious perhaps of + their happiness and sweet enjoyment—willed that their amours should + be unfortunately discovered in the manner you will hear. + </p> + <p> + This goldsmith had an assistant, who was in love with his master’s wife, + and very jealous of her, and he perceived the curé often talking to the + lady, and he guessed what was the matter. But he could not imagine how and + when they met, unless it was that the curé came in the morning when he and + his master were in the workshop. These suspicions so ran in his head that + he watched and listened in order that he might find out the truth, and he + watched so well that he learned the facts of the case, for one morning he + saw the curé come, soon after the goldsmith had left the chamber, and + enter and close the door after him. + </p> + <p> + When he was quite sure that his suspicions were confirmed, he informed his + master of his discovery in these terms. + </p> + <p> + “Master, I serve you, not only that I may earn your money, eat your bread, + and do your work well and honestly, but also to protect your honour and + preserve it from harm. If I acted otherwise I should not be worthy to be + your servant. I have long had a suspicion that our curé was doing you a + grievous wrong, but I said nothing to you until I was sure of the facts. + That you may not suppose I am trumping up an idle story, I would beg of + you to let us go now to your chamber, for I am sure that we shall find him + there.” + </p> + <p> + When the good man heard this news, he was much inclined to laugh, but he + agreed to go to his chamber along with his assistant—who first made + him promise that he would not kill the curé, or otherwise he would not + accompany him, but consented that the curé should be well punished. + </p> + <p> + They went up to the chamber, and the door was soon opened. The husband + entered first, and saw his wife in the arms of the curé who was forging as + hard as he could. + </p> + <p> + The goldsmith cried; + </p> + <p> + “Die, die, scoundrel! What brings you here?” + </p> + <p> + The curé was surprised and alarmed, and begged for mercy. + </p> + <p> + “Silence, rascally priest, or I will kill you on the spot!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, neighbour have mercy, for God’s sake,” said the curé; “do with me + whatever you like.” + </p> + <p> + “By my father’s soul! before I let you go I will make you so that you will + never want to hammer on any feminine anvil again. Get up, and let yourself + be bound, unless you wish to die!” + </p> + <p> + The poor wretch allowed himself to be fastened by his two enemies to a + bench, face upwards, and with his legs hanging down on each side of the + bench. When he was well fastened, so that he could move nothing but his + head, he was carried thus trussed (*) into a little shed behind the house, + which the goldsmith used as a melting-room. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) The word in the original is <i>marescaucié</i>, which + presumably means,—treated as the soldiers of the + <i>maréchaussée</i> treated their prisoners. Bibliophile Jacob + avoided philological pitfalls of this sort by omitting the + phrase altogether. +</pre> + <p> + When the curé was safely placed in this shed, the goldsmith sent for two + long nails with large heads, and with these he fastened to the bench the + two hammers which had in his absence forged on his wife’s anvil, and after + that undid all the ropes which fastened the poor wretch. Then taking a + handful of straw, he set fire to the shed, and leaving the curé to his + fate, rushed into the street, crying “Fire!” + </p> + <p> + The priest, finding himself surrounded by flames, saw that he must either + lose his genitals or be burned alive, so he jumped up and ran away, + leaving his purse nailed there. + </p> + <p> + An alarm was soon raised in the street, and the neighbours ran to put out + the fire. But the curé sent them back, saying that he had just come from + the spot, and all the harm that could occur had already been done, so that + they could give no assistance—but he did not say that it was he who + had suffered all the harm. + </p> + <p> + Thus was the poor curé rewarded for his love, through the false and + treacherous jealousy of the goldsmith’s assistant, as you have heard. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0049" id="linklinkimage-0049"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/86.jpg" width="100%" alt="86.jpg" title=" Foolish Fear. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0086" id="linklink2H_4_0086"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="86pg (131K)" src="images/86pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-SIXTH — FOOLISH FEAR. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur Philippe Vignier. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a young man of Rouen, married to a fair, young girl of the age of + fifteen or thereabouts; and how the mother of the girl wished to have + the marriage annulled by the Judge of Rouen, and of the sentence which + the said Judge pronounced when he had heard the parties—as you + will hear more plainly in the course of the said story.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the good town of Rouen, not long ago, a young man was married to a fair + and tender virgin, aged fifteen, or thereabouts. On the day of the great + feast—that is to say, the wedding—the mother of the young + girl, as is customary in such cases, instructed the bride in all the + mysteries of wedlock, and taught her how to behave to her husband on the + first night. + </p> + <p> + The young girl, who was looking forward to the time when she could put + these doctrines into practice, took great pains and trouble to remember + the lesson given her by her good mother, and it seemed to her that when + the time came for her to put these counsels into execution, that she would + perform her duties so well that her husband would praise her, and be well + pleased with her. + </p> + <p> + The wedding was performed with all honour and due solemnity, and the + desired night came; and soon after the feast was ended, and the young + people had withdrawn after having taken leave of the newly married couple,—the + mother, cousins, neighbours, and other lady friends led the bride to the + chamber where she was to spend the night with her husband, where they + joyfully divested her of her raiment, and put her to bed, as was right and + proper. Then they wished her good-night, and one said; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, may God give you joy and pleasure in your husband, and may you + so live with him as to be for the salvation of both your souls.” + </p> + <p> + Another said: “My dear, God give you such peace and happiness with your + husband, that the heavens may be filled with your works.” + </p> + <p> + After they all had expressed similar wishes, they left. The bride’s + mother, who remained the last, questioned her daughter to see whether she + remembered the lesson she had been taught. And the girl, who, as the + proverb goes, did not carry her tongue in her pocket, replied that she + well remembered all that had been told her, and—thank God—had + forgotten nothing. + </p> + <p> + “Well done,” said the mother. “Now I will leave you, and recommend you to + God, and pray that He may give you good luck. Farewell, my dear child.” + </p> + <p> + “Farewell, my good and wise mother.” + </p> + <p> + As soon as the schoolmistress had finished, the husband who was outside + the door expecting something better, came in. The mother closed the door, + and told him that she hoped he would be gentle with her daughter. He + promised that he would, and as soon as he had bolted the door, he—who + had on nothing on but his doublet,—threw it off, jumped on the bed, + drew as close as he could to his bride, and, lance in hand, prepared to + give battle. + </p> + <p> + But when he approached the barrier where the skirmish was to take place, + the girl laid hold of his lance, which was as straight and stiff as a + cowkeeper’s horn, and when she felt how hard and big it was, she was very + frightened, and began to cry aloud, and said that her shield was not + strong enough to receive and bear the blows of such a huge weapon. + </p> + <p> + Do all he would, the husband could not persuade her to joust with him, and + this bickering lasted all night, without his being able to do anything, + which much displeased our bridegroom. Nevertheless, he was patient, hoping + to make up for lost time the next night, but it was the same as the first + night, and so was the third, and so on up to the fifteenth, matters + remaining just as I have told you. + </p> + <p> + When fifteen days had passed since the young couple had been married, and + they had still not come together, the mother came to visit her pupil, and + after a thousand questions, spoke to the girl of her husband, and asked + what sort of man he was, and whether he did his duty well? And the girl + said that he was a nice, young man, quiet and peaceable. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said the mother; “does he do what he ought to do?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said the girl, “but——-” + </p> + <p> + “But <i>what?</i>” said the mother. “You are keeping something back I am + sure. Tell me at once, and conceal nothing; for I must know now. Is he a + man capable of performing his marital duties in the way I taught you?” + </p> + <p> + The poor girl, being thus pressed, was obliged to own that he had not yet + done the business, but she did not say that she was the cause of the + delay, and that she had always refused the combat. + </p> + <p> + When her mother heard this sad news, God knows what a disturbance she + made, swearing by all her gods that she would soon find a remedy for that, + for she was well acquainted with the judge of Rouen, who was her friend, + and would favour her cause. + </p> + <p> + “The marriage must be annulled,” she said, “and I have no doubt that I + shall be able to find out the way, and you may be sure, my child, that + before two days are over you will be divorced and married to another man + who will not let you rest in peace all that time. You leave the matter to + me.” + </p> + <p> + The good woman, half beside herself, went and related her wrong to her + husband, the father of the girl, and told him that they had lost their + daughter, and adducing many reasons why the marriage should be annulled. + </p> + <p> + She pleaded her cause so well that her husband took her side, and was + content that the bridegroom, (who knew no reason why a complaint should be + lodged against him) should be cited before the Judge. But, at any rate, he + was personally summoned to appear before the Judge, at his wife’s demand, + to show cause why he should not leave her, and permit her to marry again, + or explain the reasons why, in so many days that he had lived with her, he + had not demonstrated that he was a man, and performed the duties that a + husband should. + </p> + <p> + When the day came, the parties presented themselves at the proper time and + place, and they were called upon to state their case. The mother of the + bride began to plead her daughter’s cause, and God knows the laws + concerning marriage which she quoted, none of which, she maintained, had + her son-in-law fulfilled; therefore she demanded that he should be + divorced from her daughter at once without any more ado. + </p> + <p> + The young man was much astonished to find himself thus attacked, but lost + no time in replying to the allegations of his adversary, and quietly + stated his case, and related how his wife had always refused to allow him + to perform his marital duties. + </p> + <p> + The mother, when she heard this reply, was more angry than ever, and would + hardly believe it, and asked her daughter if that was true which her + husband had said? + </p> + <p> + “Yes, truly, mother,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, wretched girl,” said her mother, “why did you refuse? Did I not teach + you your lesson many times?” + </p> + <p> + The poor girl could not reply, so ashamed was she. + </p> + <p> + “At any rate,” said her mother, “I must know the reason why you have + refused. Tell it me at once, or I shall be horrible angry.” + </p> + <p> + The girl was obliged to confess that she had found the lance of the + champion so big that she had not dared to present her shield, fearing that + he would kill her; and so she still felt, and was not re-assured upon that + point, although her mother had told her not be afraid. After this the + mother addressed the Judge, and said: + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur, you have heard the confession of my daughter, and the + defence of my son-in-law. I beg of you to give judgment at once.” + </p> + <p> + The judge ordered a bed to be prepared in his house, and the couple to lie + on it together, and commanded the bride to boldly lay hold of the stick or + instrument, and put it where it was ordered to go. When this judgment was + given, the mother said; + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, my lord; you have well judged. Come along, my child, do what + you should, and take care not to disobey the judge, and put the lance + where it ought to be put.” + </p> + <p> + “I am satisfied,” said the daughter, “to put it where it ought to go, but + it may rot there before I will take it out again.” + </p> + <p> + So they left the Court, and went and carried out the sentence themselves, + without the aid of any sergeants. By this means the young man enjoyed his + joust, and was sooner sick of it than she who would not begin. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0087" id="linklink2H_4_0087"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="87pg (139K)" src="images/87pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-SEVENTH — WHAT THE EYE DOES NOT SEE. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monsieur Le Voyer. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a gentle knight who was enamoured of a young and beautiful girl, + and how he caught a malady in one of his eyes, and therefore sent for a + doctor, who likewise fell in love with the same girl, as you will hear; + and of the words which passed between the knight and the doctor + concerning the plaster which the doctor had put on the knight’s good + eye.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the pleasant and fertile land of Holland, not a hundred years ago, a + noble knight lodged in a fair and good inn, where there was a young and + very pretty chamber-maid, with whom he was greatly enamoured, and for love + of her had arranged with the Duke of Burgundy’s quartermaster that he + should be lodged in this inn, in order that he might better carry out his + intentions with regard to this girl. + </p> + <p> + After he had been at this inn five or six days, there happened to him a + misfortune, for he had a disease in one of his eyes so that he could not + keep it open, so sharp was the pain. And as he much feared to lose it, and + it was an organ that required much care and attention, he sent for the + Duke’s surgeon, who was at that time in the the town. And you must know + that the said surgeon was a good fellow, and much esteemed and spoken + about throughout all the country. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the surgeon saw this eye, he declared that it could not be + saved, which is what they customarily say, so that if they do cure the + disease they may gain more praise and profit. + </p> + <p> + The good knight was greatly vexed at this news, and asked if there were no + means of cure, and the other replied that it would be very difficult, + nevertheless he might, with God’s aid, cure it, if the knight would obey + all his instructions. + </p> + <p> + “If you can cure me and save my eye,” said the knight, “I will pay you + well.” + </p> + <p> + The bargain was made, and the surgeon undertook with God’s aid to cure the + bad eye, and arranged at what hour he would come every day to apply the + dressings. + </p> + <p> + You must know that every time the surgeon came to see his patient, the + pretty chambermaid accompanied him, to hold his box or basin, or help to + move the poor patient, who forgot half his pain in the presence of his + lady-love. + </p> + <p> + If the good knight had been struck by the beauty of the chambermaid, so + also was the surgeon; who, each time that he paid a visit, could not help + casting sheep’s eyes at the fair face of the chambermaid, and at last + passionately declared his love, which was well received, for she + immediately granted his requests, but it was not easy to find means to + carry out their ardent desires. + </p> + <p> + At last, after some trouble, a plan was hit on by the prudent and cunning + surgeon, and it was this: + </p> + <p> + “I will tell my patient,” he said, “that his eye cannot be cured unless + his other eye is bandaged, for by throwing all the work on the sound eye + he prevents the other from getting well. If he will allow it to be + bandaged up, we shall have a capital means of taking our pleasure, even in + his chamber, without his having any suspicion of it.” + </p> + <p> + The girl, whose desires were quite as warm as those of the surgeon, was + quite agreeable, provided the plan could be carried out. + </p> + <p> + “We will try,” said the surgeon. + </p> + <p> + He came at the usual hour to see the bad eye, and when he had uncovered + it, pretended to be much surprised. + </p> + <p> + “What!” he cried. “I never saw such a disease; the eye is worse than it + was fifteen days ago. You must have patience, monsieur.” + </p> + <p> + “In what way?” said the knight. + </p> + <p> + “Your good eye must be bandaged and concealed, so that no light can reach + it, for an hour or so after I have applied this plaster and ordered + another—for, no doubt, it prevents the other from healing. Ask,” he + said, “this pretty girl, who sees it every day, how it is getting on.” + </p> + <p> + The girl said that it looked worse than before. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said the knight, “I leave myself in your hands; do with me + whatever you please. I am content to be blindfolded as much as you like, + provided I am cured in the long run.” + </p> + <p> + The two lovers were very joyful when they saw that the knight allowed his + eyes to be bandaged. When all the arrangements had been made, and the + knight had his eyes bandaged, master surgeon pretended to leave as usual, + promising to come back soon to take off the bandage. + </p> + <p> + He did not go very far, for he threw the girl on a couch not far from the + patient, and with quite a different instrument to that which he had + employed on the knight, visited the secret cloisters of the chambermaid. + </p> + <p> + Three, four, five, six times did he perform on the pretty girl without the + knight noticing it, for though he heard the storm he did not know what it + was; but as it still continued, his suspicions were aroused, and this + time, when he heard the noise of the combat, he tore off the bandages and + plasters and threw them away, and saw the two lovers struggling together, + and seeming as though they would eat each other, so closely united were + their mouths. + </p> + <p> + “What is this, master surgeon?” cried he. “Have you blindfolded me in + order to do me this wrong. Is my eye to be cured by this means? Tell me—did + you prepare this trick for me? By St. John, I suspect I was more often + visited for love of my chambermaid than for my eyes. Well! well! I am in + your hands now, sir, and cannot yet revenge myself, but the day will come + when I will make you remember me.” + </p> + <p> + The surgeon, who was a thoroughly good fellow, began to laugh, and made + his peace with the knight, and I believe that, after the eye was cured, + they agreed to divide the work between them. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0050" id="linklinkimage-0050"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/88.jpg" width="100%" alt="88.jpg" + title="A Husband in Hiding. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0088" id="linklink2H_4_0088"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="88pg (140K)" src="images/88pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-EIGHTH — A HUSBAND IN HIDING. <a + href="#linklinknote-88" name="linklinknoteref-88" id="linklinknoteref-88">88</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Alardin. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a poor, simple peasant married to a nice, pleasant woman, who did + much as she liked, and who in order that she might be alone with her + lover, shut up her husband in the pigeon-house in the manner you will + hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In a pretty, little town near here, but which I will not name, there + recently occurred an incident which will furnish a short story. There + lived there a good, simple, unlettered peasant, married to a nice, + pleasant woman, and as long as he had plenty to eat and drink he cared for + little else. He was accustomed to often go into the country to a house he + had there, and stay, three, or four days—sometimes more, sometimes + less, as suited his pleasure, and left his wife to enjoy herself in the + town, which she did, for, in order that she might not be frightened, she + had always a man to take her husband’s place, and look after the workshop + and see that the tools did not rust. Her method was to wait until her + husband was out of sight, and not until she was quite sure that he would + not return did she send for his deputy, in order that she might not be + surprised. + </p> + <p> + But she could not always manage so well as not to be surprised, for once + when her husband had remained away two or three days, and on the fourth + day she had waited as long as possible until the gates of the town were + closed; thinking he would not come that day, she closed the doors and the + windows as on the other days, brought her lover into the house, and they + began to drink and enjoy themselves. + </p> + <p> + They were scarcely seated at the table, when her husband came and + thundered at the door, which he was much surprised to find closed. + </p> + <p> + When the good woman heard it, she hid her lover under the bed; then went + to the door and demanded who knocked? + </p> + <p> + “Open the door,” replied her husband. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, husband, is that you?” she said. “I was going to send a message to + you to-morrow morning to tell you not to come back.” + </p> + <p> + “Why; what is the matter?” asked her husband. + </p> + <p> + “What is the matter? God in heaven!” she replied. “The sergeants were here + two hours and a half, waiting to take you to prison.” + </p> + <p> + “To prison!” said he; “Why to prison? Have I done anything wrong? To whom + do I owe any money? Who brings any charge against me?” + </p> + <p> + “I know nothing about it,” said the cunning wench, “but they evidently + wanted to do you harm.” + </p> + <p> + “But did they not tell you,” asked her husband, “why they wanted me?” + </p> + <p> + “No,” she replied; “nothing, except that if they laid hands on you, you + would not get out of prison for a long time.” + </p> + <p> + “Thank God they haven’t caught me yet. Good bye, I am going back.” + </p> + <p> + “Where are you going?” she asked—though she was glad to get rid of + him. + </p> + <p> + “Whence I came,” he replied. + </p> + <p> + “I will come with you,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “No, don’t. Stay and take care of the house, and do not tell anyone that I + have been here.” + </p> + <p> + “Since you will return to the country,” she said, “make haste and get away + before they close the gates: it is already late.” + </p> + <p> + “If they should be shut, the gate-keeper will do anything for me and he + will open them again.” + </p> + <p> + With these words he left, and when he came to the gate, he found it + closed, and, beg and pray as he might, the gate-keeper would not open it + for him. + </p> + <p> + He was very annoyed that he should have to return to his house, for he + feared the sergeants; nevertheless, he was obliged to go back, or sleep in + the streets. + </p> + <p> + He went back, and knocked at the door, and the woman who had again sat + down with her lover, was much surprised, but she jumped up, and ran to the + door, and called out, + </p> + <p> + “My husband has not come back; you are wasting your time.” + </p> + <p> + “Open the door, my dear,” said the good man. “I am here.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas! alas! the gate was closed: I feared as much,” she said. “You will + certainly be arrested; I see no hope for escape, for the sergeants told + me, I now remember, that they would return to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well,” he said, “there is no need of a long sermon. Let us consider + what is to be done.” + </p> + <p> + “You must hide somewhere in the house,” she said, “and I do not know of + any place where you would be safe.” + </p> + <p> + “Should I be safe,” he asked, “in our pigeon house? Who would look for me + there?” + </p> + <p> + She was, of course, highly delighted at the suggestion, but pretended not + to be, and said; “It is not a very nice place; it stinks too much.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t mind that,” he said. “I would rather be there an hour or two, and + be safe, than be in a better place and be caught.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well, if you are brave enough to go there, I am of your opinion that + it would be a good hiding-place.” + </p> + <p> + The poor man ascended into the pigeon-house, which fastened outside, and + was locked in, and told his wife that if the sergeants did not come soon, + that she was to let him out. + </p> + <p> + She left him to coo with the pigeons all night, which he did not much + like, and he was afraid to speak or call, for fear of the sergeants. + </p> + <p> + At daybreak, which was the time when her lover left the house, the good + woman came and called her husband and opened the door; and he asked her + why she had left him so long along with the pigeons. And she, having + prepared her reply, said that the sergeants had watched round their house + all night, and spoken to her several times, and had only just gone, but + they said that they would come back at a time when they were likely to + find him. + </p> + <p> + The poor fellow, much wondering what the sergeants could want with him, + left at once, and returned to the country, vowing that he would not come + back for a long time. God knows how pleased the wench was at this, though + she pretended to be grieved. And by this means she enjoyed herself more + than ever, for she had no longer any dread of her husband’s return. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0089" id="linklink2H_4_0089"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="89pg (144K)" src="images/89pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE EIGHTY-NINTH — THE FAULT OF THE ALMANAC. + </h2> + <h3> + By Poncelet. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a curé who forgot, either by negligence or ignorance, to inform + his parishioners that Lent had come until Palm Sunday arrived, as you + will hear—and of the manner in which he excused himself to his + parishioners.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In a certain little hamlet or village in this country, far from any good + town, there happened an incident, which is worth hearing, my good sirs. + </p> + <p> + This village or hamlet was inhabited by a handful of rough and simple + peasants, who knew nothing except how to gain their livelihood. Rough and + ignorant as they were, their curé was not less so, for he did not know + things of common knowledge, as I will show you by relating an incident + that happened to him. + </p> + <p> + You must know that this curé was so simple and ignorant that he could not + announce the feasts of the saints, which come every year on a fixed day, + as every one knows; and when his parishioners asked when such and such a + feast would fall, he could not, right off, answer them correctly. + </p> + <p> + Amongst other such mistakes, which often occurred, he made one which was + by no means slight, for he allowed the five weeks of Lent to slip by + without informing his parishioners. + </p> + <p> + But hear how he discovered his error. On the Saturday which was the eve + before Palm Sunday, he had need to go to the nearest town for something + that he required. When he had entered the town, and was riding along the + streets, he saw that the priests were purchasing palms and other + greenstuff, which were being sold at the market for the procession the + next day. + </p> + <p> + If anyone was astonished it was our good curé, though he pretended not to + be. He went to the woman who sold the palms and boughs, and bought some—pretending + that he had come to town specially for that purpose. Then he hastily + mounted his horse, which was loaded with his purchases, galloped to the + village, and arrived there as quickly as possible. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he had dismounted, he met several of his parishioners, whom he + commanded to go and ring the bells for every one to come to church at + once, for he had certain things necessary for the salvation of their souls + to tell them. + </p> + <p> + A meeting was soon called, and all were assembled in the church, where the + curé, booted and spurred, came, much flustered, God knows. He mounted into + the pupil, and said the following words, + </p> + <p> + “Good sirs, I have to signify and inform you that to-day was the eve of + the solemn feast of Palm Sunday, and this day next week will be the eve of + Easter Sunday, the day of Our Lord’s Resurrection.” + </p> + <p> + When these good people heard this news they began to murmur, and were so + astonished they did not know what to do. + </p> + <p> + “Silence!” said the curé, “I will soon satisfy you, and will tell you the + true reasons why you have only eight days of Lent in which to perform your + penitences this year, and marvel not at what I am about to tell you, as to + why Lent came so late. I suppose there is not one amongst you who does not + know and remember that the frosts were very long and sharp this year—much + worse than ever they were—and that for many weeks it was dangerous + to ride, on account of the frost and the snow, which lasted a long time.” + </p> + <p> + “Every one here knows that is as true as the Gospel, therefore be not + astonished that Lent has been so long coming, but rather wonder that it + was able to come at all, seeing how long the road is from here to his + house. I would ask, and even beg of you, to excuse him, for I dined with + him to day” (and he named the place—that is to say the town to which + he had been). + </p> + <p> + “However,” he added, “manage to come and confess this week, and appear to + morrow in the procession, as is customary. And have patience this time; + the coming year will be milder, please God, and then Lent will come + quicker, as it usually does.” + </p> + <p> + Thus did the curé find means to excuse his simple ignorance. Then he + pronounced the benediction saying, + </p> + <p> + “Pray to God for me, and I will pray to God for you.” + </p> + <p> + After that he came down out of the pulpit, and went to his house to + prepare the boughs and palms which were to be used in the procession the + next day. + </p> + <p> + And that is all. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0051" id="linklinkimage-0051"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/90.jpg" width="100%" alt="90.jpg" title="A Good Remedy. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0090" id="linklink2H_4_0090"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="90pg (139K)" src="images/90pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETIETH — A GOOD REMEDY. <a href="#linklinknote-90" name="linklinknoteref-90" id="linklinknoteref-90">90</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Beaumont. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a good merchant of Brabant whose wife was very ill, and he + supposing that she was about to die, after many remonstrances and + exhortations for the salvation of her soul, asked her pardon, and she + pardoned him all his misdeeds, excepting that he had not worked her as + much as he ought to have done—as will appear more plainly in the + said story.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + To increase the number of stories that I promised to tell, I will relate a + circumstance that occurred lately. + </p> + <p> + In the fair land of Brabant—the place in the world where adventures + most often happen—there lived a good and honest merchant, whose wife + was very ill, and had to keep her bed continually because of her disease. + </p> + <p> + The good man, seeing his wife so ill and weak, led a sad life; he was so + vexed and distressed and he much feared she would die. In this state of + grief, and believing that he was about to lose her, he came to her + bedside, and gave her hopes of being cured, and comforted her as best he + could. And after that he had talked with her a little time, and ended his + admonitions and exhortations, he begged her pardon, and requested that if + he had ever wronged her in any way that she would pardon him. + </p> + <p> + Amongst other instances of things which he knew had annoyed her, he + mentioned that he had not polished up her armour (that part which is + called the <i>cuirass</i>) as often as she would have liked, and therefore + he humbly begged her pardon. + </p> + <p> + The poor invalid, as soon as she could speak, pardoned him all his minor + offences, but this last she would not willingly pardon without knowing the + reasons which had induced her husband to neglect polishing up her armour + when he knew well what a pleasure it was to her, and that she asked for + nothing better. + </p> + <p> + “What?” he said; “Will you die without pardoning those who have done you + wrong?” + </p> + <p> + “I do not mind pardoning you,” she said, “but I want to know your reasons—otherwise + I will not pardon you.” + </p> + <p> + The good husband thought he had hit on a good excuse, and one that would + obtain his pardon, and replied; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, you know that very often you were ill and weak—although + not so ill as I see you now—and I did not dare to challenge you to + combat whilst you were in that condition, fearing that it might make you + worse. But be sure that if I refrained from embracing you, it was only out + of love and affection to you.” + </p> + <p> + “Hold your tongue, liar that you are! I was never so ill and weak that I + should have refused the battle. You must seek some other reason if you + would obtain your pardon, for that one will not help you; and since there + is now nothing to be done, I will tell you, wicked and cowardly man that + you are, that there is no medicine in the world which will so quickly + drive away the maladies of us women as the pleasant and amorous society of + men. Do you see me now weakened and dried up with disease? Well! all that + I want is your company.” + </p> + <p> + “Ho, ho!” said the other; “then I will quickly cure you.” + </p> + <p> + He jumped on the bed and performed as well as he could, and, as soon as he + had broken two lances, she rose and stood on her feet. + </p> + <p> + Half an hour later she was out in the street, and her neighbours, who all + looked upon her as almost dead, were much astonished, until she told them + by what means she had been cured, when they at once replied that that was + the only remedy. + </p> + <p> + Thus did the good merchant learn how to cure his wife; but it turned out + to his disadvantage in the long run, for she often pretended to be sick in + order to get her physic. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0091" id="linklink2H_4_0091"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="91pg (138K)" src="images/91pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-FIRST — THE OBEDIENT WIFE. <a + href="#linklinknote-91" name="linklinknoteref-91" id="linklinknoteref-91">91</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By The Editor. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i> Of a man who was married to a woman so lascivious and lickerish, + that I believe she must have been born in a stove or half a league from + the summer sun, for no man, however well he might work, could satisfy + her; and how her husband thought to punish her, and the answer she gave + him.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + When I was lately in Flanders, in one of the largest towns in the + province, a jovial fellow told me a good story of a man married to a woman + so given to venery and concupiscence that she would have let a man lie + with her in the public streets. Her husband knew well how she misbehaved + herself, but he was not clever enough to prevent it, so cunning and + depraved was she. He threatened to beat, to leave her, or to kill her, but + it was all a waste of words; he might as well have tried to tame a mad dog + or some other animal. She was always seeking fresh lovers with whom to + fornicate, and there were few men in all the country round who had not + tried to satisfy her lust; anyone who winked at her, even if he were + humpbacked, old, deformed, or disfigured in any way, could have her + favours for nothing. + </p> + <p> + Her unfortunate husband, seeing that she still continued this life in + spite of all his menaces, tried to hit upon a method to frighten her. When + he was alone with her in the house, he said; + </p> + <p> + “Well, Jehanne (or Beatrix, for so he called her) I see that you are + determined to continue this life of vice, and, however much I may threaten + to punish you, you take no more heed of me than though I held my tongue.” + </p> + <p> + “Alas, husband,” she replied, “I am much to be pitied, but there is no + help for it, for I was born under a planet which compels me to go with + men.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, indeed,” said the husband, “is that your destiny? I swear I will soon + find a remedy for that.” + </p> + <p> + “You will kill me then,” she said, “for nothing else will cure me.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind,” he said. “I know the best way.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” she asked. “Tell me.” + </p> + <p> + “Morbleu!” he said, “I will give you such a doing some day, that I will + put a quartette of babies in your belly, and then I will leave you to get + your own living.” + </p> + <p> + “You will?” she cried. “Indeed! Well, you have but to begin. Such threats + frighten me very little, I do not care a farthing for them. May I have my + head shaved if I attempt to run away. (*) If you think you are capable of + making four babies at once, come on, and begin at once—the mould is + ready.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) Long hair was considered honourable, and to have the + head shaved or cropped was a mark of disgrace. +</pre> + <p> + “The devil take the woman,” said the husband; “there is no way of + punishing her.” + </p> + <p> + He was obliged to let her fulfil her destiny, for nothing short of + splitting her head open would have kept her backside quiet; so he let her + run about like a bitch on heat amongst a couple of dozen dogs, and + accomplish all her inordinate desires. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0052" id="linklinkimage-0052"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/92.jpg" width="100%" alt="92.jpg" + title=" Women’s Quarrels. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0092" id="linklink2H_4_0092"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="92pg (132K)" src="images/92pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-SECOND — WOMEN’S QUARRELS. + </h2> + <h3> + By The Editor. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a married woman who was in love with a Canon, and, to avoid + suspicion, took with her one of her neighbours when she went to visit + the Canon; and of the quarrel that arose between the two women, as you + will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the noble city of Metz in Lorraine, there lived, some time ago a woman + who was married, but also belonged to the confraternity of the <i>houlette</i> + (*); nothing pleased her more than that nice amusement we all know: she + was always ready to employ her arms, and prove that she was right valiant, + and cared little for blows. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) “The frail sisterhood”. +</pre> + <p> + Now hear what happened to her whilst she was exercising her profession. + She was enamoured of a fat canon, who had more money than an old dog has + fleas. But as he lived in a place where people came at all hours, she did + not know how she was to come to her canon un-perceived. + </p> + <p> + She pondered over the matter, and at last determined to take into her + confidence a neighbour of hers, a sister-in-arms also of the <i>houlette</i>, + for it seemed to her that she might go and see her canon, if accompanied + by her neighbour, without causing any suspicion. + </p> + <p> + As it was devised, so was it done, and she went to see the canon, as + though on an affair of great importance, and honourably escorted, as has + been said. + </p> + <p> + To shorten the story, as soon as our <i>bourgeoises</i> arrived, after all + due salutations, the principal personage shut herself up with her lover, + the canon, and he gave her a mount, as he well knew how. + </p> + <p> + The neighbour, seeing the other have a private audience with the master of + the house, had no small envy, and was much displeased that she could not + do the same. + </p> + <p> + When the first-named woman came out of the room, after receiving what she + came for, she said to her neighbour; + </p> + <p> + “Shall We go?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, indeed,” said the other, “am I to go away like that? If I do not + receive the same courtesy that you did, by God I will reveal everything. I + did not come to warm the wax for other people.” + </p> + <p> + When they saw what she wanted, they offered her the canon’s clerk, who was + a stout and strong gallant well suited for the work, but she refused him + point blank, saying that she deserved his master and would have none + other. + </p> + <p> + The canon was obliged, to save his honour, to grant her request, and when + that was accomplished, she wished to say farewell and leave. + </p> + <p> + But then the other would not, for she said angrily that it was she who had + brought her neighbour, and for whom the meeting was primarily intended, + and she ought to have a bigger share than the other, and that she would + not leave unless she had another “truss of oats.” + </p> + <p> + The Canon was much alarmed when he heard this, and, although he begged the + woman who wanted the extra turn not to insist, she would not be satisfied. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” he said, “I am content, since it needs must be; but never come + back under similar conditions—I shall be out of town.” + </p> + <p> + When the battle was over, the damsel who had had an additional turn, when + she took leave, asked the canon to give her something as a keepsake. + </p> + <p> + Without waiting to be too much importuned, and also to get rid of them, + the good canon handed them the remainder of a piece of stuff for + kerchiefs, which he gave them, and the “principal” received the gift, and + they said farewell. + </p> + <p> + “It is,” he said, “all that I can give you just now; so take it in good + part.” + </p> + <p> + They had not gone very far, and were in the street, when the neighbour, + who had had nothing more than one turn, told her companion that she wanted + her share of the gift. + </p> + <p> + “Very well,” said the other, “I have no objection. How much do you want?” + </p> + <p> + “Need you ask that,” said she. “I am going to have half, and you the + same.” + </p> + <p> + “How dare you ask,” said the other, “more than you have earned? Have you + no shame? You know well that you only went once with the canon, and I went + twice, and, pardieu, it is not right that you should have as much as I.” + </p> + <p> + “Pardieu! I will have as much as you,” said the second. + </p> + <p> + “Did I not do my duty as well as you?” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean by that?” + </p> + <p> + “Is not once as good as ten times? And now that you know my will, instead + of standing here squabbling over a trifle, I recommend you to give me my + half, or you will soon see a fight. Do you think you can do as you like + with me?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, indeed!” said the other, “will you try force? By God’s power you + shall only have what is right,—that is to say one third part—and + I will have the rest. Did I not have twice as much trouble as you?” + </p> + <p> + With that the other doubled up her fist and landed it in the face of her + companion, the one for whom the meeting had been first arranged, who + quickly returned the blow. In short they fought as though they would have + killed each other, and called one another foul names. When the people in + the street saw the fight between the two companions, who a short while + previously had been so friendly, they were much astonished, and came and + separated the combatants. Then the husbands were called, and each asked + his wife the cause of the quarrel. Each tried to make the other in the + wrong, without telling the real cause, and set their husbands against each + other so that they fought, and the sergeants came and sent them to cool + their heels in prison. + </p> + <p> + Justice intervened, and the two women were compelled to own that the fight + was about a piece of stuff for a kerchief. The Council, seeing that the + case did not concern them, sent it to the “King of the Bordels”, because + the women were his subjects. And during the affair the poor husbands + remained in gaol awaiting sentence, which, owing to the infinite number of + cases, is likely to remain unsettled for a long time. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0093" id="linklink2H_4_0093"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="93pg (138K)" src="images/93pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-THIRD — HOW A GOOD WIFE WENT ON A PILGRIMAGE. <a + href="#linklinknote-93" name="linklinknoteref-93" id="linklinknoteref-93">93</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Messire Timoleon Vignier. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a good wife who pretended to her husband that she was going on a + pilgrimage, in order to find opportunity to be with her lover the + parish-clerk—with whom her husband found her; and of what he said + and did when he saw them doing you know what.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Whilst I have a good audience, let me relate a funny incident which + happened in the district of Hainault. + </p> + <p> + In a village there, lived a married woman, who loved the parish clerk much + more than she did her own husband, and in order to find means to be with + the clerk, she feigned to her husband that she owed a pilgrimage to a + certain saint, whose shrine was not far from there; which pilgrimage she + had vowed to make when she was in travail with her last child, begging the + saint that he would be content that she should go on a certain day she + named. The good, simple husband, who suspected nothing, allowed her to go + on this pilgrimage; and as he would have to remain alone he told her to + prepare both his dinner and supper before she left, or else he would go + and eat at the tavern. + </p> + <p> + She did as he ordered, and prepared a nice chicken and a piece of mutton, + and when all these preparations were complete, she told her husband that + everything was now ready, and that she was going to get some holy water, + and then leave. + </p> + <p> + She went to church, and the first man she met was the one she sought, that + is to say the clerk, to whom she told the news, that is to say how she had + been permitted to go on a pilgrimage for the whole day. + </p> + <p> + “And this is what will occur,” she said. “I am sure that as soon as I am + out of the house that he will go to the tavern, and not return until late + in the evening, for I know him of old; and so I should prefer to remain in + the house, whilst he is away, rather than go somewhere else. Therefore you + had better come to our house in half an hour, and I will let you in by the + back door, if my husband is not at home, and if he should be, we will set + out on our pilgrimage.” + </p> + <p> + She went home, and there she found her husband, at which she was not best + pleased. + </p> + <p> + “What! are you still here?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “I am going to put on my shoes,” she said, “and then I shall not be long + before I start.” + </p> + <p> + She went to the shoemaker, and whilst she was having her shoes put on, her + husband passed in front of the cobbler’s house, with another man, a + neighbour, with whom he often went to the tavern. + </p> + <p> + She supposed that because he was accompanied by this neighbour that they + were going to the tavern; whereas he had no intention of the kind, but was + going to the market to find a comrade or two and bring them back to dine + with him, since he had a good dinner to offer them—that is to say + the chicken and the mutton. + </p> + <p> + Let us leave the husband to find his comrades, and return to the woman who + was having her shoes put on. As soon as that was completed, she returned + home as quickly as she could, where she found the scholar wandering round + the house, and said to him; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, we are the happiest people in the world, for I have seen my + husband go to the tavern, I am sure, for one of his neighbours was leading + him by the arm, and I know is not likely to let my man come back, and + therefore let us be joyful. We have the whole day, till night, to + ourselves. I have prepared a chicken, and a good piece of mutton, and we + will enjoy ourselves;” and without another word they entered the house, + but left the door ajar in order that the neighbours should suspect + nothing. + </p> + <p> + Let us now return to the husband, who had found a couple of boon + companions besides the one I have mentioned, and now brought them to his + house to devour the chicken, and drink some good Beaune wine—or + better, if they could get it. + </p> + <p> + When he came to the house, he entered first, and immediately saw our two + lovers, who were taking a sample of the good work they had to do. And when + he saw his wife with her legs in the air, he told her that she need not + have troubled to bother the cobbler about her shoes, since she was going + to make the pilgrimage in that way. + </p> + <p> + He called his companions, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Good sirs, just see how my wife looks after my interests. For fear that + she should wear out her new shoes, she is making the journey on her back:—no + other woman would have done that.” + </p> + <p> + He picked up the remainder of the fowl, and told her that she might finish + her pilgrimage; then closed the door and left her with her clerk, without + saying another word, and went off to the tavern. He was not scolded when + he came back, nor on the other occasions either that he went there, + because he had said little or nothing concerning the pilgrimage which his + wife had made at home with her lover, the parish clerk. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0094" id="linklink2H_4_0094"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="94pg (140K)" src="images/94pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-FOURTH — DIFFICULT TO PLEASE. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) There is no author’s name to this story in any of the + editions. +</pre> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a curé who wore a short gown, like a gallant about to be married, + for which cause he was summoned before the Ordinary, and of the sentence + which was passed, and the defence he made, and the other tricks he + played afterwards—as you will plainly hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In Picardy, in the diocese of Therouenne, there lived about a year and a + half ago, in one of the large towns, a curé who aped the fashionable youth + of the time. He wore a short gown, and high boots, as was the fashion at + Court, and, in short, was as great a gallant as you would see,—which + gave no small offence to all good Churchmen. + </p> + <p> + The Ordinary of Therouenne—who is generally known as the “big devil” + —was informed of the behaviour of this curé, and cited him to appear + to be punished, and ordered to change his method of dressing. + </p> + <p> + He appeared in his short gown, as though he cared little for the Ordinary, + or thinking, perhaps, that he was going to be let off for his good looks, + but this did not happen, for when he was before the judge, the “promoter” + related the case at full length, and demanded that these clothes and other + vanities should be forbidden him, and that he should be condemned to pay + certain fines. + </p> + <p> + The judge, seeing at a glance what sort of man our curé was, forbade him, + by all the penalties of canon law, to disguise himself in the way he had + done, and ordered that he was to wear long gowns and long hair, and + moreover, to pay a good sum of money. + </p> + <p> + The curé promised that he would do so, and never again be summoned for a + similar offence. He left the Court and returned to his cure, and as soon + as he came there, he called the draper and the tailor, and he had a gown + made which trailed three quarters of an ell on the ground; for he told the + tailor how he had been reproved for wearing a short gown, and ordered to + wear a long one. + </p> + <p> + He put on this long robe, and allowed his beard and hair to grow, and in + this habit performed his parochial duties, sang Mass, and did everything + that a priest has to do. + </p> + <p> + The promoter was soon informed that the curé behaved in a way not + compatible with good morals, whereupon a fresh summons was issued, and the + priest appeared in his long gown. + </p> + <p> + “What is this?” asked the judge when the curé appeared before him. “It + seems that you make fun of the statutes and ordinances of the Church! Why + do you not dress like the other priests? If it were not for some of your + friends I should send you to prison.” + </p> + <p> + “What, monseigneur!” said the curé. “Did you not order me to wear a long + gown, and long hair? Have I not done as I was commanded? Is not my gown + long enough? Is not my hair long? What do you wish me to do?” + </p> + <p> + “I wish,” said the judge, “and I command that your gown and hair should be + half long, neither too much nor too little, and for this great fault that + you have committed, I condemn you to pay a fine of ten pounds to the + Prosecutor, twenty pounds to the Chapter, and as much to the Bishop of + Therouenne for his charities.” + </p> + <p> + Our curé was much astonished, but there was nothing for it but to comply. + He took leave of the judge, and returned to his house, considering how he + should attire himself in order to obey the judge’s sentence. He sent for + the tailor, whom he ordered to make a gown as long on one side as that we + have mentioned, and, as short as the first one on the other side, then he + had himself shaved on one side only—that on which the gown was short—and + in this guise went about the streets, and performed his sacred duties; and + although he was told this was not right of him, he paid no attention. + </p> + <p> + The Prosecutor was again informed, and cited him to appear a third time. + When he appeared, God knows how angry the judge was—he was almost + beside himself, and, could scarcely sit on the Bench when he saw the curé + dressed like a mummer. If the priest had been mulcted before he was still + more so this time, and was condemned to pay very heavy fines. + </p> + <p> + Then the curé, finding himself thus amerced in fines and amends, said to + the judge. + </p> + <p> + “With all due respect, it seems to me that I have obeyed your orders. Hear + what I have to say, and I will prove it.” + </p> + <p> + Then he covered his long beard with his hand, and said; + </p> + <p> + “If you like, I have no beard.” Then, covering the shaved side of his + face, he said, “If you like, I have a long beard. Is not that what you + ordered?” + </p> + <p> + The judge, seeing that he had to do with a joker, who was making fun of + him, sent for a barber and a tailor, and before all the public, had the + cure’s hair and beard dressed, and his gown cut to a proper and reasonable + length; then he sent him back to his cure where he conducted himself + properly—having learned the right manner at the expense of his + purse. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0053" id="linklinkimage-0053"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/95.jpg" width="100%" alt="95.jpg" + title="The Sore Finger Cured. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0095" id="linklink2H_4_0095"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="95pg (138K)" src="images/95pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-FIFTH — THE SORE FINGER CURED. <a + href="#linklinknote-95" name="linklinknoteref-95" id="linklinknoteref-95">95</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a monk who feigned to be very ill and in danger of death, that he + might obtain the favours of a certain young woman in the manner which is + described hereafter.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is usually the case, thank God, that in many religious communities + there are certain good fellows who can play “base instruments”. + </p> + <p> + Apropos of this, there was formerly in a convent at Paris, a good brother, + a preacher, who was accustomed to visit his female neighbours. One day his + choice lighted on a very pretty woman, a near neighbour, young, buxom, and + spirited, and but recently married to a good fellow. + </p> + <p> + Master monk fell in love with her, and was always thinking and devising + ways and means by which he could compass his desires—which were, in + short, to do you know what. Now he decided, “That is what I’ll do.” Then + he changed his mind. So many plans came into his head that he could not + decide on any; but of one thing he was sure, and that was that words alone + would never seduce her from the paths of virtue. “For she is too virtuous, + and too prudent. I shall be obliged, if I want to gain my ends, to gain + them by cunning and deception.” + </p> + <p> + Now listen to the plan the rascal devised, and how he dishonestly trapped + the poor, little beast, and accomplished his immoral desires, as he + proposed. + </p> + <p> + He pretended one day to have a bad finger—that which is nearest to + the thumb, and is the first of the four on the right hand—and he + wrapped it in linen bandages, and anointed it with strong-smelling + ointments. + </p> + <p> + He went about with it thus for a day or two, hanging about the church + porch, when he thought the aforesaid woman was coming, and God knows what + pain he pretended to suffer. + </p> + <p> + The silly wench looked on him with pity, and seeing by his face that he + appeared to be in great pain, she asked him what was the matter; and the + cunning fox pitched up a piteous tale. + </p> + <p> + The day passed, and on the morrow, about the hour of vespers, when the + good woman was at home alone, the patient came and sat by her, and acted + the sick man, that anyone who had seen him would have believed that he was + in great danger. Sometimes he would walk to the window, then back again to + the woman, and put on so many strange tricks that you would have been + astonished and deceived if you had seen him. And the poor foolish girl, + who pitied him so that the tears almost started from her eyes, comforted + him as best she could, + </p> + <p> + “Alas, Brother Aubrey, have you spoken to such and such physicians?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, certainly, my dear,” he replied. “There is not a doctor or surgeon + in Paris who has not studied my case.” + </p> + <p> + “And what do they say? Will you have to suffer this pain for a long time?” + </p> + <p> + “Alas! yes; until I die, unless God helps me; for there is but one remedy + for ray complaint, and I would rather die than reveal what that is,—for + it is very far from decent, and quite foreign to my holy profession.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” cried the poor girl. “Then there is a remedy! Then is it not very + wrong and sinful of you to allow yourself to suffer thus? Truly it seems + so to me, for you are in danger of losing sense and understanding, so + sharp and terrible is the pain.” + </p> + <p> + “By God, very sharp and terrible it is,” said Brother Aubrey, “but there!—God + sent it; praised be His name. I willingly suffer and bear all, and + patiently await death, for that is the only remedy indeed—excepting + one I mentioned to you—which can cure me.” + </p> + <p> + “But what is that?” + </p> + <p> + “I told you that I should not dare to say what it is,—and even if I + were obliged to reveal what it is, I should never have the will or power + to put it in execution.” + </p> + <p> + “By St. Martin!” said the good woman, “it appears to me that you are very + wrong to talk like that. Pardieu! tell me what will cure you, and I assure + you that I will do my utmost to help you. Do not wilfully throw away your + life when help and succour can be brought. Tell me what it is, and you + will see that I will help you—I will, pardieu, though it should cost + me more than you imagine.” The monk, finding his neighbour was willing to + oblige him, after a great number of refusals and excuses, which, for the + sake of brevity, I omit, said in a low voice. + </p> + <p> + “Since you desire that I should tell you, I will obey. The doctors all + agreed that there was but one remedy for my complaint, and that was to put + my finger into the secret place of a clean and honest woman, and keep it + there for a certain length of time, and afterwards apply a certain + ointment of which they gave me the receipt. You hear what the remedy is, + and as I am by disposition naturally modest, I would rather endure and + suffer all my ills than breathe a word to a living soul. You alone know of + my sad lot, and that in spite of me.” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said the good woman, “what I said I would do I will do. I will + willingly help to cure you, and am well pleased to be able to relieve you + of the terrible pain which torments you, and find you a place in which you + can put your sore finger.” + </p> + <p> + “May God repay you, damsel,” said the monk. “I should never have dared to + make the request, but since you are kind enough to help me, I shall not be + the cause of my own death. Let us go then, if it please you, to some + secret place where no one can see us.” + </p> + <p> + “It pleases me well,” she replied. + </p> + <p> + So she led him to a fair chamber, and closed the door, and laid upon the + bed, and the monk lifted up her clothes, and instead of the finger of his + hand, put something hard and stiff in the place. When he had entered, she + feeling that it was very big, said, + </p> + <p> + “How is it that your finger is so swollen? I never heard of anything like + it.” + </p> + <p> + “Truly,” he replied, “it is the disease which made it like that.” + </p> + <p> + “It is wonderful,” she said. + </p> + <p> + Whilst this talk was going on, master monk accomplished that for which he + had played the invalid so long. She when she felt—et cetera—asked + what that was, and he replied, + </p> + <p> + “It is the boil on my finger which has burst. I am cured I think—thank + God and you.” + </p> + <p> + “On my word I am pleased to hear it,” said the woman as she rose from the + bed. “If you are not quite cured, come back as often as you like;—for + to remove your pain there is nothing I would not do. And another time do + not be so modest when it is a question of recovering your health.” + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0096" id="linklink2H_4_0096"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="96pg (140K)" src="images/96pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-SIXTH — A GOOD DOG. <a href="#linklinknote-96" name="linklinknoteref-96" id="linklinknoteref-96">96</a> + </h2> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a foolish and rich village curé who buried his dog in the + church-yard; for which cause he was summoned before his Bishop, and how + he gave 60 gold crowns to the Bishop, and what the Bishop said to him—which + you will find related here.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Listen if you please to what happened the other day to a simple village + curé. This good curé had a dog which he had brought up, and which + surpassed every other dog in the country in fetching a stick out of the + water, or bringing a hat that his master had forgotten, and many other + tricks. In short, this wise and good dog excelled in everything, and his + master so loved him that he never tired of singing his praises. + </p> + <p> + At last, I know not how, whether he ate something that disagreed with him, + or whether he was too hot or too cold, the poor dog became very ill, and + died, and went straightway to wherever all good dogs do go. + </p> + <p> + What did the honest curé do? You must know that his vicarage adjoined the + church-yard, and when he saw his poor dog quit this world, he thought so + wise a beast ought not to be without a grave, so he dug a hole near the + door of his house, and in the church-yard, and there buried his dog. I do + not know if he gave the dog a monument and an epitaph, I only know that + the news of the good dog’s death spread over the village, and at last + reached the ears of the Bishop, together with the report that his master + had given him holy burial. + </p> + <p> + The curé was summoned to appear before the Bishop, who sent a sergeant to + fetch him. + </p> + <p> + “Alas!” said the curé, “what have I done, and why have I to appear before + the Bishop? I am much surprised at receiving this summons.” + </p> + <p> + “As for me,” said the sergeant, “I do not know what it is for, unless it + is because you buried your dog in the holy ground which is reserved for + the bodies of Christians.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” thought the curé to himself, “that must be it,” and it occurred to + him that he had done wrong, but he knew that he could easily escape being + put into prison, by paying a fine, for the Lord Bishop—God be + praised—was the most avaricious prelate in the Kingdom, and only + kept those about him who knew how to bring grist to the mill. + </p> + <p> + “At any rate I shall have to pay, and it may as well be soon as late.” + </p> + <p> + On the appointed day, he appeared before the Bishop, who immediately + delivered a long sermon about the sin of burying a dog in consecrated + ground, and enlarged on the offence so wonderfully that he made it appear + that the curé had done something worse than deny God; and at the end he + ordered the curé to be put in prison. + </p> + <p> + When the curé found that he was to be shut up in the stone box, he + demanded permission to be heard, and the Bishop gave him leave to speak. + </p> + <p> + You must know that there were a number of notable persons at this + convocation—the judge, the prosecutor, the secretaries, and + notaries, advocates, and procureurs, who were all much amused at this + unusual case of the poor curé who had buried his dog in consecrated + ground. + </p> + <p> + The curé spoke briefly in his defence, to this effect. + </p> + <p> + “Truly, my Lord Bishop, if you had known my poor dog as well as I did, you + would not be surprised that I gave him Christian burial, for his like was + never seen;” and then he began to recount his doings. + </p> + <p> + “And as he was so good and wise when he was living, he was still more so + at his death; for he made a beautiful will, and, as he knew your poverty + and need, he left you fifty golden crowns, which I now bring you.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, he drew the money from his bosom and gave it to the Bishop, who + willingly received it, and greatly praised the good dog, and approved of + his will, and was glad to know that he had received honourable sepulture. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0054" id="linklinkimage-0054"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/97.jpg" width="100%" alt="97.jpg" + title=" Bids and Biddings. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0097" id="linklink2H_4_0097"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="97pg (132K)" src="images/97pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-SEVENTH — BIDS AND BIDDINGS. + </h2> + <h3> + By Monseigneur De Launoy. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a number of boon companions making good cheer and drinking at a + tavern, and how one of them had a quarrel with his wife when he returned + home, as you will hear.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + A number of good fellows had once assembled to make good cheer at the + tavern and drink as much as they could. And when they had eaten and drunk + to God’s praise and <i>usque ad Hebreos</i> (*), and had paid their + reckoning, some of them began to say, “How shall we be received by our + wives when we return home?” “God knows if we shall be excommunicated.” + “They will pluck us by the beard.” “By Our Lady!” said one, “I am afraid + to go home.” “God help me! so am I,” said another. “I shall be sure to + hear a sermon for Passion Sunday.” “Would to God that my wife were dumb—I + should drink more boldly than I do now.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) A pun on the word <i>ebreos</i> (drunken). +</pre> + <p> + So spoke all of them with one exception, and that was a good fellow who + said, + </p> + <p> + “How now, good sirs? You all seem every miserable, and each has a wife who + forbids him to go to the tavern, and is displeased if you drink. Thank God + my wife is not one of that sort, for if I drink ten—or even a + hundred-times a day that is not enough for her,—in short I never + knew an instance in which she did not wish I had drunk as much again. For, + when I come back from the tavern she always wishes that I had the rest of + the barrel in my belly, and the barrel along with it. Is not that a sign + that I do not drink enough to please her?” + </p> + <p> + When his companions heard this argument they began to laugh, and all + praised his wife, and then each one went his own way. + </p> + <p> + The good fellow we have mentioned, went home, where he found his wife not + over friendly, and ready to scold him; and as soon as she saw him she + began the usual lecture, and, as usual, she wished the rest of the barrel + in his belly. + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, my dear, you are always much kinder than all the other women + in the town for they all get wild if their husbands drink too much, but + you—may God repay you—always wish that I may have a good + draught that would last me all my days.” + </p> + <p> + “I don’t know that I wish that,” she said, “but I pray to God that you may + drink such a lot some day that you may burst.” + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were conversing thus affectionately, the soup-kettle on the + fire began to boil over, because the fire was too hot, and the good man, + who noticed that his wife did not take it off the fire, said; + </p> + <p> + “Don’t you see, wife, that the pot is boiling over?” + </p> + <p> + She was still angry and indignant, and replied; + </p> + <p> + “Yes, master, I see it.” + </p> + <p> + “Well then, take it off, confound you! Do as I bid you.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” she replied, “I will bid twelve pence.” (*) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + (*) There is a pun in the French on the two meanings of the + verb <i>hausser</i>,—“to raise” and to “augment” or “run up.” + </pre> + <p> + “Oh, indeed, dame,” said he, “is that your reply? Take off that pot, in + God’s name!” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” she said. “I will put it at seven <i>sous</i>. Is that high + enough?” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” he said. “By St. John that shall not pass without three blows + with a good stick.” + </p> + <p> + He picked up a thick stick, and laid it with all his might across her + back, saying as he did so, + </p> + <p> + “The lot is knocked down to you.” + </p> + <p> + She began to cry, and the neighbours all assembled and asked what was the + matter? The good man told them and they all laughed—except the woman + who had had the lot knocked down to her. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0098" id="linklink2H_4_0098"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="98pg (137K)" src="images/98pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-EIGHTH — THE UNFORTUNATE LOVERS. + </h2> + <h3> + By The Editor. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a knight of this kingdom and his wife, who had a fair daughter + aged fifteen or sixteen. Her father would have married her to a rich old + knight, his neighbour, but she ran away with another knight, a young man + who loved her honourably; and, by strange mishap, they both died sad + deaths without having ever co-habited,—as you will hear shortly.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the frontiers of France, there lived, amongst other nobles, a knight + who was rich and noble, not only by illustrious descent, but by his own + virtuous and honourable deeds, who had, by the wife he had married, an + only daughter, a very beautiful virgin, well-educated as her condition + required, and aged fifteen or sixteen years, or thereabouts. + </p> + <p> + This good and noble knight, seeing that his daughter was of a fit and + proper age for the holy sacrament of wedlock, much wished to give her in + marriage to a knight, his neighbour, who was powerful, not so much by + noble birth as by great possessions and riches, and was also from 60 to 80 + years old, or thereabouts. + </p> + <p> + This wish so filled the head of the father of whom I spoke, that he would + not rest until formal promises were made between him and his wife, the + mother of the girl, and the aforesaid old knight, touching his marriage to + the girl, who, for her part, knew and suspected nothing of all these + arrangements, promises, and treaties. + </p> + <p> + Not far from the castle of the knight, the father of this damsel, there + lived another knight, a young man, valiant and brave, and moderately rich, + but not so rich as the old man of whom I spoke, and this youth was greatly + in love with the fair damsel. She also was much attached to him, on + account of his fame and great renown, and they often spoke to each other, + though with much trouble and difficulty, for her father, who suspected + their love, tried by all ways and means to prevent their seeing each + other. Nevertheless, he could not destroy the great and pure love which + united their hearts, and when fortune favoured them with an opportunity, + they discussed nothing but the means whereby they might accomplish their + whole and sole desire and marry each other. + </p> + <p> + The time approached when the damsel was to be given to the old knight, and + her father told her of the contract he had made, and named the day on + which she was to be married; at which she was greatly angered, but thought + to herself that she might find a way out of the difficulty. + </p> + <p> + She sent a message to her lover, the young knight, to tell him to come to + her secretly as soon as he could; and when he came she told him how she + was betrothed to the old knight, and asked her lover’s advice as to how + this marriage was to be broken off, for that she would never have any + other man but him. + </p> + <p> + The knight replied, + </p> + <p> + “My dearest lady, since of your kindness you offer me that which I should + never have dared to ask without great shame, I thank you humbly, and if it + be your will, I will tell you what we will do. We will appoint a day for + me to come to this town accompanied by many of my friends, and at a given + hour you will repair to a certain place, both of which we will arrange now + that I am alone with you. You will mount on my horse, and I will conduct + you to my castle. And then, if we can manage to pacify your father and + mother, we will fulfil our promises of plighted troth.” + </p> + <p> + She replied that the plan was a good one, and she would carry it out + properly. She told him that on such a day, at such an hour, he would find + her at a certain place, and that she would do all that he had arranged. + </p> + <p> + The appointed day arrived, and the young knight appeared at the place + mentioned, and there he found the lady, who mounted on his horse, and they + rode fast until they were far from there. + </p> + <p> + The good knight, fearing that he should fatigue his dearly beloved + mistress, slackened his speed, and spread his retainers on every road to + see that they were not followed, and he rode across the fields, without + keeping to any path or road, and as gently as he could, and charged his + servants that they should meet at a large village which he named, and + where he intended to stop and eat. This village was remote, and away from + the high road. + </p> + <p> + They rode until they came to this village, where the local <i>fête</i> was + being held, which had brought together all sorts of people. They entered + the best tavern in the place, and at once demanded food and drink, for it + was late after dinner, and the damsel was much fatigued. A good fire was + made, and food prepared for the servants of the knight who had not yet + arrived. + </p> + <p> + Hardly had the knight and the lady entered the tavern than there came four + big swashbucklers—waggoners or drovers, or perhaps worse—who + noisily entered the tavern, and demanded where was the <i>bona roba</i> + that some ruffian had brought there, riding behind him on his horse, for + they would drink with her, and amuse themselves with her. + </p> + <p> + The host who knew the knight well, and was aware that the rascals spake + not the truth, told them gently that the girl was not what they imagined. + </p> + <p> + “Morbleu!” they replied; “if you do not bring her at once, we will batter + down the door, and bring her by force in spite of the two of you.” + </p> + <p> + When the host heard this, and found that his explanation was no use, he + named the knight, who was renowned through all that district, but unknown + to many of the common people, because he had long been out of the country, + acquiring honour and renown in wars in distant countries. The host told + them also that the damsel was a young virgin, a relative of the knight, + and of noble parentage. + </p> + <p> + “You can, messieurs,” he said, “without danger to yourself or others, + quench your lust with many of the women who have come to the village on + the occasion of the <i>fête</i> expressly for you and the like of you, and + for God’s sake leave in peace this noble damsel, and think of the great + danger that you run, the evil that you wish to commit and the small hope + that you have of success.” + </p> + <p> + “Drop your sermons,” shouted the rascals, inflamed with carnal lust, “and + bring her to us quietly; or if not we will cause a scandal, for we will + bring her down openly, and each of us four will do as he likes with her.” + </p> + <p> + These speeches being finished, the good host went up to the chamber where + the knight and the damsel were, and called the knight apart, and told him + this news, which when he had heard, without being troubled in the least, + he went down wearing his sword, to talk to the four swashbucklers, and + asked them politely what they wanted? + </p> + <p> + And they, being foul-mouthed and abusive blackguards, replied that they + wanted the <i>bona roba</i> that he kept shut up in his chamber, and that, + if he did not give her up quietly, they would take her from him by force. + </p> + <p> + “Fair sirs,” said the knight, “if you knew me well you would be aware that + I should not take about women of that sort. I have never done such a + folly, thank God. And even if I ever did—which God forbid—I + should never do it in this district, where I and all my people are well + known—my nobility and reputation would not suffer me to do it. This + damsel is a young virgin, a near relative, related also to a noble house, + and we are travelling for our pleasure, accompanied by my servants, who + although they are not here at present, will come directly, and I am + waiting for them. Moreover, do not flatter yourselves that I should be + such a coward as to let her be insulted, or suffer injury of any kind; but + I would protect and defend her as long as my strength endured, and until I + died.” + </p> + <p> + Before the knight had finished speaking, the villains interrupted him, and + in the first place denied that he was the person he said, because he was + alone, and that knight never travelled without a great number of servants. + Therefore they recommended him, if he were wise, to bring the girl down, + otherwise they would take her by force, whatever consequences might ensue. + </p> + <p> + When this brave and valiant knight found that fair words were of no use, + and that force was the only remedy, he summoned up all his courage, and + resolved that the villains should not have the damsel, and that he was + ready to die in her defence. + </p> + <p> + At last one of the four advanced to knock with his bludgeon at the door of + the chamber, and the others followed him, and were bravely beaten back by + the knight. Then began a fight which lasted long, and although the two + parties were so unequally matched, the good knight vanquished and repulsed + the four villains, and as he pursued them to drive them away, one of them, + who had a sword, turned suddenly and plunged it in the body of the knight, + and pierced him through, so that he fell dead at once, at which they were + very glad. Then they compelled the host to quietly bury the body in the + garden of the inn. + </p> + <p> + When the good knight was dead, the villains came and knocked at the door + of the chamber where the damsel was impatiently awaiting the return of her + lover, and they pushed open the door. + </p> + <p> + As soon as she saw the brigands enter, she guessed that the knight was + dead, and said; + </p> + <p> + “Alas, where is my protector? Where is my sole refuge? What has become of + him? Why does he thus wound my heart and leave me here alone?” + </p> + <p> + The scoundrels, seeing that she was much troubled, thought to falsely + deceive her by fair words, and told her the knight had gone to another + house, and had commanded them to go to her and protect her; but she would + not believe them, for her heart told her that they had killed him. She + began to lament, and to cry more bitterly than ever. + </p> + <p> + “What is this?” they said. “Why all these tricks and manners? Do you think + we don’t know you? If you imagine your bully is still alive, you are + mistaken—we have rid the country of him. Therefore make your mind up + that we are all four going to enjoy you.” At these words one of them + advanced, and seized her roughly, saying that he would have her company. + </p> + <p> + When the poor damsel saw herself thus forced, and that she could not + soften their hearts, she said; + </p> + <p> + “Alas! sirs, since you will force me, and my humble prayers cannot soften + you, at least have this decency; that if I abandon myself to you it shall + be privately, that is to say each separately without the presence of the + others.” + </p> + <p> + They agreed to this, though with a bad grace, and then they made her + choose which of the four should first have her company. She chose the one + that she fancied was the mildest and best-tempered, but he was the worst + of all. The door was closed, and then the poor damsel threw herself at the + scoundrel’s feet, and with many piteous appeals, begged that he would have + pity on her. But he was obstinate, and declared that he would have his + will of her. + </p> + <p> + When she saw that he was so cruel, and that her prayers could not melt + him, she said. + </p> + <p> + “Well then, since so it must be, I am content; but I beg of you to close + the windows that we may be more secret.” + </p> + <p> + He willingly consented, and whilst he was closing them, she drew a little + knife that she wore at her girdle, and uttering one long, piteous cry, she + cut her throat, and gave up the ghost. + </p> + <p> + When the scoundrel saw her lying on the ground, he fled along with his + companions, and it is to be supposed that they were afterwards punished + according to their deserts. + </p> + <p> + Thus did these two sweet lovers end their days, one directly after the + other, without ever having tasted of the joys and pleasures in which they + hoped to have lived together all their days. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0099" id="linklink2H_4_0099"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="99pg (136K)" src="images/99pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE NINETY-NINTH — THE METAMORPHOSIS. <a + href="#linklinknote-99" name="linklinknoteref-99" id="linklinknoteref-99">99</a> + </h2> + <h3> + By The Editor. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Relates how a Spanish Bishop, not being able to procure fish, ate two + partridges on a Friday, and how he told his servants that he had + converted them by his prayers into fish—as will more plainly be + related below.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + If you wish, you shall hear now, before it is too late, a little story + about a brave Spanish Bishop who went to Rome to transact some business + for his master the King of Castille. + </p> + <p> + This brave prelate, whom I intend to make furnish this last story, arrived + one day at a little village in Lombardy, it being then early on a Friday + evening, and ordered his steward to have supper early, and to go into the + town and buy what he could, for he (the Bishop) was very hungry, not + having broken his fast all that day. + </p> + <p> + His servant obeyed him, and went to the market, and to all the fishmongers + in the town, to procure some fish, but, to make the story short, not a + single fish, in spite of all the efforts made by the steward, could be + found. + </p> + <p> + But, on returning to the inn, he met a countryman, who had two fine + partridges which he would sell very cheaply. The steward thought he would + secure them, and they would serve to make the Bishop a feast on Sunday. + </p> + <p> + He bought them, a great bargain, and came to his master with the two + partridges in his hand, all alive, and fat, and plump, and told him of his + failure to get any fish, at which my Lord was not best pleased. + </p> + <p> + “And what can we have for supper?” + </p> + <p> + “My Lord,” replied the steward, “I will get them to prepare you eggs in a + hundred thousand different ways, and you can have apples and pears. Our + host has also some rich cheese. We will do our best; have patience, a + supper is soon over, and you shall fare better to-morrow, God willing. We + shall be in a town which is much better provided with fish than this, and + on Sunday you cannot fail to dine well, for here are two partridges which + are plump and succulent.” + </p> + <p> + The Bishop looked at the two partridges, and found them as the steward + said, plump, and in good condition, so he thought they would take the + place of the fish which he had lost. So he caused them to be killed and + prepared for the spit. + </p> + <p> + When the steward saw that his master wished to have them roasted, he was + astounded, and said to his master; + </p> + <p> + “My lord, it is well to kill them, but to roast them now for Sunday seems + a pity.” + </p> + <p> + But the steward lost his time, for, in spite of his remonstrances, they + were put on the spit and roasted. + </p> + <p> + The good prelate watched them cooking, and the poor steward was + scandalized, and did not know what to make of his master’s ill-ordered + appetite. + </p> + <p> + When the partridges were roasted, the table laid, the wine brought in, + eggs cooked in various ways, and served to a turn, the prelate seated + himself, said grace, and asked for the partridges, with mustard. + </p> + <p> + His steward wished to know what his master would do with these birds, and + brought them to him fresh from the fire, and emitting an odour enough to + make a friar’s mouth water. + </p> + <p> + The good Bishop attacked the partridges, and began to cut and eat with + such haste, that he did not give his squire, who came to carve for him, + sufficient time to lay his bread, and sharpen his knife. + </p> + <p> + When the steward saw his master eating the birds, he was so amazed that he + could no longer keep silent, and said to him; + </p> + <p> + “Oh, my lord, what are you doing? Are you a Jew or a Saracen, that you do + not keep Friday? By my faith, I am astonished at such doings.” + </p> + <p> + “Hold your tongue! Hold your tongue!” said the good prelate, who had his + hands and his beard covered with fat and gravy. “You are a fool, and know + not what you are saying. I am doing no harm. You know well and believe, + that by the words spoken by me and other priests, we make of the host, + which is nothing but flour and water, the precious body of Jesus Christ. + Can I not by the same means?—I who have seen so many things at the + court of Rome and many other places—know by what words I may + transform these partridges, which are flesh, into fish, although they + still retain the form of partridges? So indeed I have done. I have long + known how to do this. They were no sooner put to the fire than by certain + words I know, I so charmed them that I converted them into the substance + of fish, and you might—all of you who are here—eat, as I do, + without sin. But as you would still believe them to be flesh, they would + do you harm, so I alone will commit the sin.” + </p> + <p> + The steward and the other attendants began to laugh, and pretended to + believe the highly-coloured story that their master had told them, and + ever after that were up to the trick, and related it joyously in many + places. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0055" id="linklinkimage-0055"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/100.jpg" width="100%" alt="100.jpg" + title="The Chaste Lover. " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_4_0100" id="linklink2H_4_0100"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="100pg (139K)" src="images/100pg.jpg" width="100%" /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + STORY THE HUNDREDTH AND LAST — THE CHASTE LOVER. + </h2> + <h3> + By Philippe De Laon. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + <i>Of a rich merchant of the city of Genoa, who married a fair damsel, + who owing to the absence of her husband, sent for a wise clerk—a + young, fit, and proper man—to help her to that of which she had + need; and of the fast that he caused her to make—as you will find + more plainly below.</i> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In the powerful and well-populated city of Genoa, there, lived some time + ago, a merchant who was very rich, and whose business consisted in sending + much merchandise by sea to foreign lands, and especially to Alexandria. So + occupied was he with the management of his ships, and in heaping up + riches, that during all his days, from his tender youth till the time that + he was fifty years of age, he never cared or wanted to do anything else. + </p> + <p> + When he had arrived at this last mentioned age, he began to think about + his condition, and to see that he had spent and employed all his days and + years in heaping up riches without ever having for a single minute or + moment been inclined to think of marrying and having children, to whom the + great wealth, that he had by great diligence and labour amassed and + acquired, would succeed. This thought caused him much mental sorrow, and + he was greatly vexed that he had thus spent his youth. + </p> + <p> + This grief and regret lasted many days, during which time it happened that + in the above-named city, the young children, after they had solemnized + some festival, did as they were accustomed each year, and variously + apparelled and disguised, some this way and some that, came in great + numbers to the place where the public rejoicings of the city are usually + held, to play in the presence of their fathers and mothers, and to have + their costumes praised and admired. + </p> + <p> + At this assembly was our merchant, still moody and vexed, and the sight of + so many fathers and mothers taking pleasure in watching their children + dance and sport, increased the grief that was preying on his mind, and, + unable to watch them any longer, he returned to his house, sad and vexed, + and retired to his lonely chamber, where he remained some time, uttering + complaints of this kind; + </p> + <p> + “Ah, poor, miserable, old man that I am and always have been, and for whom + fate and destiny are hard, bitter, and unpleasant. Oh, wretched man! worn + out and weary by watching and work, suffered and borne by land and sea. + Your great riches and heaped-up treasures, which with many perilous + adventures, hard work, and sweat you have amassed, and for which you have + expended all your time, are but vain, for you have never thought who will + possess them, and to whom by human law you should leave your memory and + your name when you are dead and gone. Oh, wicked man, how could you have + been careless of that of which you should have taken most heed? Marriage + never pleased you, and you always feared and refused it, and even disliked + and scorned the good and just counsels of those who would have found you a + wife, in order that you might have offspring who would perpetuate your + name, your praise, and your renown. Oh, how happy are those parents who + leave good and wise children to succeed them! How many fathers have I seen + to-day playing with their children, who would call themselves most happy, + and think they had well employed their time, if, after their decease, they + could leave their children but one small part of the great wealth that I + possess! But what pleasure and solace can I ever have? What name or fame + shall I leave after my death? Where is the son who will cherish my memory + when I am dead? Blessed be that holy condition of marriage by which the + memory and recollection of fathers is preserved, and by which fiefs, + possessions, and heritages are permanently secured to their happy + children!” + </p> + <p> + When the good merchant had thus argued to himself for a long time, he + suddenly thought of a remedy for his misfortunes, saying; + </p> + <p> + “Well, I am in future determined, notwithstanding the number of my years, + not to trouble or torment myself with grief, or remorse. At the worst I + have but been like the birds, which prepare their nests before they begin + to lay their eggs. I have, thank God, riches sufficient for myself, wife, + and many children, if it should happen that I have any, nor am I so old, + or so devoid of natural vigour, as to lose hope of even having any + offspring. What I have to do is to watch and work, and use every endeavour + to discover where I shall find a wife fit and proper for me.” + </p> + <p> + Having finished his soliloquy, he left his chamber, and sent for two of + his comrades—merchant-mariners like himself,—and to them he + plainly stated his case, and requested them to help to find him a wife, + for that was the thing he most desired in the world. + </p> + <p> + The two merchants, having heard what their comrade had to say, much + applauded his determination, and undertook to make all possible endeavours + to find him a wife. + </p> + <p> + Whilst they were making enquiries, our merchant,—as hot to get + married as he could be—played the gallant, and sought throughout the + city all the youngest and prettiest girls—to the others he paid + small heed. + </p> + <p> + He searched so well that he found one such as he required,—born of + honest parents, marvellously beautiful, aged only fifteen or thereabouts, + gentle, good-tempered, and well brought up in every respect. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he knew her virtues and good qualities, he felt such affection + and desire that she should be his lawful wife, that he asked her hand of + her parents and friends; which, after some slight difficulties that were + quickly removed, was given, and the same hour they were betrothed, and + security given by him for the dower he was to bestow upon her. + </p> + <p> + If the good merchant had taken pride and pleasure in his merchandise + during the time that he was amassing a fortune, he felt still more when he + saw himself certain of being married, and that to a wife by whom he could + have fine children. + </p> + <p> + The wedding was honourably celebrated, with all due pomp, and that feast + being over and finished, he forgot all about his former life,—that + is to say on the sea—but lived happily and in great pleasure with + his fair and fond wife. + </p> + <p> + But this way of life did not last long, for he soon became tired and + bored, and before the first year had expired took a dislike to living at + home in idleness and a humdrum domestic existence, and pined for his old + business of merchant-mariner, which seemed to him easier and more pleasant + than that which he had so willingly undertaken to manage night and day. + </p> + <p> + He did nothing but devise how he could get to Alexandria, as he used in + the old days, and it seemed to him that it was not only difficult but + impossible for him to abstain from going to sea. Yet though he firmly + resolved to return to his old profession, he concealed his intention from + his wife, fearing that she might be displeased. + </p> + <p> + There were also fears and doubts which disturbed him, and prevented him + from executing his designs, for he knew the youth and character of his + wife, and he felt sure that if he were absent she would not be able to + control herself; and he considered also the mutability and variability of + the feminine character, and that the young gallants were accustomed to + pass in front of his house to see his wife, even when he was at home,—whence + he imagined that in his absence they might come closer, and peradventure + even take his place. + </p> + <p> + For a long time he was tormented by these difficulties and suspicions + without saying a word but as he knew that he had lived the best part of + his life, he now cared little for wife, marriage, and all that concerned + domestic life, and to the arguments and theories which filled his head, + provided a speedy solution by saying;— + </p> + <p> + “It is better to live than to die, and, if I do not quit my household very + shortly, it is very certain that I shall not live. But then, shall I leave + my fair and affectionate wife? Yes, I will leave her;—she shall + henceforth manage for herself as she pleases; it will no longer be + incumbent on me. Alas, what shall I do? What a dishonour, what an + annoyance it would be for me if she did not continue to guard her + chastity. Ah, yes, it is better to live than to die, that I may be able to + look after her! But God cannot wish that I should take such care and pains + about a woman’s belly without any pay or reward, and receive nothing in + return but torture of soul and body. I will not bear all the trouble and + anguish of mind that many suffer in living with their wives. It angers me + and saddens me to think that God only permits me to live to enjoy the + trifling incidents of married life. I want full liberty and freedom to do + what I please.” + </p> + <p> + When the good merchant had finished these sage reflections, he went and + found some of his old comrades, and told them that he wished to visit + Alexandria with a cargo of merchandise, as he had often previously done in + their company,—but he did not tell them of the trouble and anxiety + which his married life caused him. + </p> + <p> + He soon made all arrangements with them, and they told him to be ready to + start when the first fair wind came. The sailors and cargo were soon + ready, and awaited in a safe place, a fair wind to start. + </p> + <p> + The good merchant, still firm in his determination, as on the previous + days, found his wife alone in her chamber, and that she should not be sad + at his departure, addressed her in these words. + </p> + <p> + “My dearest wife, whom I love better than my life, I beg of you to be of + good heart, and show yourself joyful, and be not sad or cast down at what + I am about to say to you. I propose—if it be God’s pleasure—to + once more visit Alexandria, as I have long been in the habit of doing; and + it seems to me that you should not be vexed thereat, seeing that you are + aware that that is my business and profession, by which I have acquired + riches, houses, name, and fame, and many good friends. The handsome and + rich ornaments, rings, garments, and other things with which you are + apparelled and ornamented as is no other woman in the city, as you well + know, I have acquired by the profit I have made on my merchandise. This + journey of mine therefore should not trouble you, for I shall shortly + return. And I promise you that if this time,—as I hope,—Fortune + should smile upon me, never will I return there again, but this time will + take leave of it for ever. You must therefore be of good courage, and I + will leave in your hands the disposition, administration, and management + of all the goods which I possess; but before I leave I have some requests + to make of you. + </p> + <p> + “The first is, I beg of you to be happy whilst I am on my voyage, and live + comfortably; for if I know that such is the case I shall have greater + pleasure in my voyage. For the second, you know that nothing should be + hidden or concealed between us two, and all honour, profit, and renown + should be—as I know they are—common to both of us, and the + praise and honour of the one cannot exist without the glory of the other, + and similarly the dishonour of the one would be the shame of us both. I + wish you to understand that I am not so devoid of sense that I am not + aware that I leave you young, beautiful, kind, fresh, and tender, and + without the consolation of a husband; and that many men will desire you. + And although I firmly believe that you are now fully resolved, + nevertheless, when I think of your age and inclinations and the warmth of + your desires, it does not seem possible to me that you should not, out of + pure necessity and compulsion, enjoy the company of a man during my + absence. It is my will and pleasure therefore to permit you to grant those + favours which nature compels you to grant. I would beg of you though to + respect our marriage vow unbroken as long as you possibly can. I neither + intend nor wish to leave you in the charge of any person, but leave you to + be your own guardian. Truly, there is no duenna, however watchful, who can + prevent a woman from doing what she wishes. When therefore your desires + shall prick and spur you on, I would beg you, my dear wife, to act with + such circumspection in their execution that they may not be publicly + known,—for if you do otherwise, you, and I, and all our friends will + be infamous and dishonoured. + </p> + <p> + “If then you cannot remain chaste, at least take pains to retain your + reputation. I will teach you how that is to be done, if the need should + arise. You know that in our good city there are plenty of handsome men. + From amongst these choose one only, and be content to do with him whatever + nature may incline you to do. At all events, I wish that in making your + choice you should take particular care that he is not a vagabond, or + dishonest, or disreputable person, for great dangers might arise from your + acquaintance with such a person, inasmuch as he would, without doubt + publish your secret. + </p> + <p> + “You will select one therefore who is, you are sure, both wise and + prudent, and who will take as much pains to conceal your amour as you do + yourself. This I beg of you, and that you will promise me honestly and + loyally to remember this lesson. I do not advise you to reply in the way + that other women are accustomed to when similar proposals are made to + them. I know what they would say, which would be somewhat to this effect. + ‘Oh, husband! what do you mean by speaking like that? How could you have + such a cruel, unjust opinion of me? How can you imagine that I should + commit such an abominable crime? No! no! God forbid that I should make you + such a promise. I will rather wish that the earth may open and swallow me + up alive the day and hour—I will not say commit—but even think + of committing such a sin. + </p> + <p> + “My dear wife, I have shown you this way of replying in order that you may + not use the same to me. I firmly and truly believe that at the present + moment you are fully determined to remain chaste, and I desire you to + remain of that opinion as long as nature will permit you. And understand + that I do not wish you to break your vows unless you are unable to battle + against the appetites of your frail and weak youth.” + </p> + <p> + When the good merchant had finished his speech, his fair, kind, and gentle + wife, her face all suffused with blushes, trembled, and could not for some + moments reply to what her husband had said. Soon her blushes vanished, her + confidence returned, and calling up all her courage, she replied in these + words; + </p> + <p> + “My kind, and greatly beloved husband, I assure you that never have I been + so disturbed and troubled by any speech I have ever heard, as I am now by + your words, by which I learn something that I never heard or guessed. You + know my simplicity, youth, and innocence, and you say that it is not + possible at my age to avoid committing such a fault, and that you are sure + and know positively that when you are away I shall not be able to preserve + our marriage vow in its integrity. That speech greatly vexed my heart, and + made me tremble, and I do not know how I can reply to your arguments. You + have deprived me of the reply I should have made, but I can tell you from + the bottom of my heart that with joined hands I beg most humbly of God + that he may cause an abyss to open in which I may be thrown, that my limbs + may be torn off, and that I may suffer a most cruel death, if ever the day + comes when I shall not only be disloyal to our marriage vow, but even + think for a brief moment of being disloyal. How, and in what manner I + could be brought to commit such a crime, I am unable to comprehend. And as + you have forbidden me to reply as I should, telling me that women are + accustomed to make elusive and false excuses, I will to give you pleasure, + and allay your suspicions, and that you may see that I am ready to obey + and keep your commands, promise you this moment with firm and immutable + faith and constancy, to await the day of your return in true, pure, and + entire chastity of body, and may God forbid that the contrary should + happen. Be fully assured that I will obey your orders in every respect. If + there is anything else you wish or command, I beg of you to inform me, and + I will perform your will (I desire nothing else) and not my own.” + </p> + <p> + Our merchant, when he heard his wife’s reply, was so overjoyed that he + could not refrain from weeping, and said: + </p> + <p> + “My dearest spouse, since you have of your great kindness given me the + promise that I required, I beg of you to keep it.” + </p> + <p> + The following morning, the good merchant was sent for by his comrades to + put to sea. So he took leave of his wife, and commended her to the care of + God. Then he put to sea to sail to Alexandria where they arrived in a few + days, the wind being favourable, at which place they stayed a long time + both to deliver their merchandise and take in fresh cargoes. + </p> + <p> + During this time the gracious damsel of whom I have spoken remained in the + house with, as her only companion, a little girl who served her. As I have + said, this fair damsel was but fifteen years of age, therefore any fault + that she committed must be imputed, not to a vicious character, but to + youth and inexperience. + </p> + <p> + When the merchant had been absent many days, little by little she began to + forget him. As soon as the young men of the city knew of his departure, + they came to visit her. At first she would neither leave the house nor + show herself, but as they continued to come daily, she, on account of the + great pleasure she took in sweet and melodious songs and harmonies of all + instruments, which they played outside her door, peeped through the + crevices of the windows and the trellis so that she could see the + musicians, and they for their part were quite willing to be seen. + </p> + <p> + In hearing these songs and dances she took so much pleasure, that her mind + was filled with love, and the natural warmth of her affections often + tempted her to incontinence. So often was she visited in this manner, that + in the end her concupiscence and carnal desires conquered, and she was + fairly hit by the dart of love. She often thought how easy it was for her + to find time and place for any lover, for no one guarded her, and no one + could prevent her putting her designs in execution, and she came to the + conclusion that her husband was very wise when he said he was positive + that she could not preserve continence and chastity, although she wished + to keep the promise she had made to him. + </p> + <p> + “It is right then,” she said to herself, “for me to follow my husband’s + advice; by doing which I shall incur no dishonour, since he himself gave + me permission, and I shall not violate the promise I made him. I remember + rightly that he charged me that if ever I broke my vow of chastity, that I + should choose a man who was wise, of good fame, and great virtues, and no + other. That is what I will really do, as I may without disobeying my + husband’s instructions, and by following his good advice which was ample + for my purpose. I suppose that he did not intend that the man should be + old, and it seems to me that he should be young, but having as good a + reputation for learning and science as any old man. Such was my husband’s + advice, I remember.” + </p> + <p> + At the same time that the damsel was making these reflections, and was + searching for a wise and prudent, young man to cool her bowels, there + fortunately arrived in the city a very wise young clerk, who had newly + arrived from the university of Bologna, where he had been several years + without once returning to his native city. Such attention had he given to + his studies that there was not in all the country a clerk who enjoyed such + a reputation amongst the learned men of the city, whom he assisted + continually. + </p> + <p> + He was accustomed to go every day to the Town Hall on the market-place, + and was obliged to pass before the house of the said damsel, who was much + struck by his appearance and pleasant manners. And although he had never + filled any clerical office, she came to the conclusion that he was a very + learned clerk, and fell deeply in love with him, saying to herself that he + would be the man to guard her husband’s secret; but how she was to inform + him of her great and ardent love, and reveal the secret desires of her + mind she knew not,—at which she was much vexed. + </p> + <p> + She bethought herself that as every day he passed before her house on his + way to the market place, that she would be upon her balcony, dressed as + handsomely as possible, in order that when he passed he might notice her + beauty, and so be led to desire those favours which would not be refused + him. + </p> + <p> + Many times did the damsel so show herself, although that had not + previously been her custom, and though she was pleasant to gaze upon, and + her youthful mind was filled with thoughts of love, the wise clerk never + perceived her, for in walking he glanced neither to the right nor left. + </p> + <p> + This plan of the damsel’s was not as successful as she imagined it would + be. She was very sorrowful, and the more she thought of the clerk, the + more ardent did her desires become. At last, after a number of plans had + suggested themselves to her, and which for the sake of brevity I pass + over, she determined to send her little servant-maid to him. So she called + her, and ordered her to go and ask for such-an-one,—that is to say, + the learned clerk—and when she had found him, to tell him to come in + haste to the house of such a damsel, the wife of so-and-so; and if he + should ask what the damsel wanted, she was to reply that she knew not, but + only knew that he was urgently required to come at once. + </p> + <p> + The little girl learned her message, and went forth to seek him; and she + was soon shown a house where he was at dinner with a great company of his + friends, and other people of high degree. + </p> + <p> + The girl entered the house, and saluting all the company, asked for the + clerk, and delivered her message properly. The good clerk, who had been + acquainted since his youth with the merchant of whom the girl spoke, and + knew his house as he did his own, but was not aware that he was married or + who was his wife, imagined that during the husband’s absence, the wife had + need of advice on some weighty matter, for he knew that the husband was + away, and had no suspicion of the cause of his invitation. He said to the + girl; + </p> + <p> + “My dear, go and tell your mistress that as soon as dinner is over I will + come to her.” + </p> + <p> + The messenger duly delivered these words, and God knows how she was + received by her mistress. When she heard that the clerk, her lover, would + come, she was more joyful than ever woman was, and owing to the great joy + she felt at having the clerk in the house, she trembled and did not know + what to do. She caused the house to be well swept, and fair herbage to be + spread in her chamber, covered the bed and the couch with rich tapestry + and embroidery, and dressed and adorned herself with her most precious + belongings. + </p> + <p> + Then she waited a little time, which seemed to her marvellous long on + account of the great desire she had, and so impatient was she for his + arrival, and that she might perceive him coming afar off, she went up to + her chamber and then came down again, and went now hither, now thither, + and was so excited that it seemed as though she were out of her senses. + </p> + <p> + At last she went up to her chamber, and there laid out all the riches and + delicacies that she had prepared to feast her lover. She made the little + servant-maid stay below to let the clerk in, and conduct him to her + mistress. + </p> + <p> + When he arrived, the servant-maid received him, and let him in and closed + the door, leaving his servants outside, whom she told that they were to + await their master’s return. + </p> + <p> + The damsel, hearing that her lover had arrived, could not refrain from + running down stairs to meet him, and she saluted him politely. Then she + took his hand and led him to the chamber which she had prepared. He was + much astonished when he arrived there, not only by the diversity of + splendours that he saw, but also by the great beauty of the fair girl who + conducted him. + </p> + <p> + As soon as they were in the chamber, she sat down on a stool by the couch, + and made him sit on another by her side, and there they both sat for a + certain time, without saying a word, for each waited for the other to + speak, though in very different ways, for the clerk imagined that the + damsel would consult him on some great and difficult matter, and wished + her to begin; whilst she, on the other hand, knowing how wise and prudent + he was, believed that he would know why he had been sent for without her + telling him. + </p> + <p> + When she saw that he made no attempt to speak, she began, and said; + </p> + <p> + “My very dear and true friend, and learned man, I will tell you at once + why I have sent for you. I believe that you are well-acquainted and + familiar with my husband. He has left me, in the condition you now see me, + whilst he goes to Alexandria to bring back merchandise, as he has long + been used. Before his departure, he told me that when he was away, he was + sure that my weak and fragile nature would cause me to lose my chastity, + and that necessity would compel me to have intercourse with a man to + quench the natural longings I should be sure to feel after his departure. + And truly I deem him a very wise man, for that which I thought impossible + I find has happened, for my youth, beauty, and nature rebel against + wasting away in vain. That you may understand me plainly I will tell you + that my wise and thoughtful husband when he left, knew that as all young + and tender plants dry and wither when they cannot fulfil the needs of + their nature, so it was likely to be with me. And seeing clearly that my + nature and constitution were likely to be controlled by my natural + desires, which I could not long resist, he made me swear and promise that, + if nature should force me to become unchaste, I would choose a wise man of + good position, who would carefully guard our secret. I do not think there + is in all the city a man more worthy than yourself, for you are young and + very wise. I do not suppose then that you will refuse me or repel me. You + see me as I am, and you may, during the absence of my husband, supply his + place if you wish, and without the knowledge of any one; place, time, and + opportunity all favour us.” + </p> + <p> + The gentleman was much surprised and moved at what the lady said, but he + concealed his emotion. He took her right hand and with a smiling face + addressed her in these words: + </p> + <p> + “I ought to render infinite thanks to Dame Fortune, who has to-day given + me so much pleasure, and the attainment of the greatest happiness I could + have in this world; never in my life will I call myself unfortunate, since + Fortune has granted me this great favour. I may certainly say that I am + to-day the happiest of men, for when I consider, my beautiful and kind + mistress, how we may joyously pass our days together, without any person’s + knowledge or interference, I almost faint with joy. Where is the man more + favoured by Fortune than I am? If it were not for one thing which forms a + slight obstacle to our love affair, I should be the luckiest man on earth, + and I am greatly vexed and annoyed that I cannot overcome that + difficulty.” + </p> + <p> + When the damsel, who had never imagined that any difficulty could arise, + heard that there was an obstacle which would prevent her indulging her + passions, she was very sad and sorrowful, and begged him to say what it + was, in order that she might find a remedy if possible. + </p> + <p> + “The obstacle,” he said, “is not so great that it cannot be removed in a + little time, and, since you are kind enough to wish to know what it is, I + will tell you. When I was studying at the University of Bologna, the + people of the city rose in insurrection against their ruler. I was + accused, along with some others, my companions, of having stirred up this + insurrection, and I was closely imprisoned. When I found myself in prison, + and in danger of losing my life, though I knew I was innocent, I made a + vow to God, promising that if He would deliver me from prison and restore + me to my friends and relations in this city, I would, for love of Him, + fast for a whole year on bread and water, and during that fast would not + allow my body to sin. Now I have, by His aid, accomplished the greater + part of the year and but little remains. I would beg of you therefore, + since it is your pleasure to choose me as your lover, not to change again + for any man in the world, and not to fret over the little delay that is + necessary for me to accomplish my fast, and which is now but a very short + time, and would have been long since over if I had dared to confide in + some one else who could help me, for any days that others will fast for me + are counted as though I fasted myself. And as I perceive the great love + and confidence you have for me, I will, if you wish, place a trust in you + that I have never put in my brothers, nor my friends, nor relations. I + will ask you to help me with the remaining part of the fast to accomplish + the year, that I may the sooner aid you in the matter you have desired of + me. My kind friend, I have but sixty days to fast, which—if it is + your will and pleasure—I will divide in two parts, of which you + shall have one and I will have the other, on condition that you promise to + perform your part honestly and without fraud, and when all is completed, + we will pass our days pleasantly. If therefore, you are willing to help me + in the manner I have said, tell me at once.” + </p> + <p> + It is to be supposed that this long delay was hardly pleasing to the young + woman, but as her lover had asked her so kindly, and also because she + wished the fast to be finished, that she might accomplish her desires with + her lover, and thinking also that thirty days would not much interfere + with her intentions, she promised to perform her share without fraud, + deception, or imposition. + </p> + <p> + The good gentleman, seeing that he had won his case and that his affairs + were prospering, took leave of the damsel, (who suspected no harm) and + told her that as it was on his road from his home to the market-place to + pass by her house, he would, without fail, often come and visit her, and + so he departed. + </p> + <p> + The fair damsel began the next day her fast, making a rule for herself + that during all the time of the fast she would eat nothing but bread and + water until the sun had set. + </p> + <p> + When she had fasted three days, the wise clerk, as he was going to the + market-place at the accustomed time, called upon the lady, with whom he + talked long, and then, as he was saying farewell, asked her if she had + commenced the fast? She replied she had. + </p> + <p> + “Can you continue,” he said, “and keep your promise until all is + finished?” + </p> + <p> + “I can entirely,” she replied; “do not fear.” + </p> + <p> + He took leave and departed, and she went on from day to day with her fast, + and kept her vow as she had promised, such being her good-nature. Before + she had fasted eight days, her natural heat began to decrease so much that + she was forced to change her clothes and put on furs and thick garments, + which are usually only worn in winter, instead of the light robes which + she wore before she began the fast. + </p> + <p> + On the fifteenth day, she received a visit from her lover, who found her + so weak that she could hardly move about the house, but the poor simpleton + was firmly resolved not to practise any trickery, so deeply in love was + she, and so firmly resolved to persevere with this fast, for the sake of + the joys and pleasant delights which awaited her at the termination. + </p> + <p> + The clerk, when he entered the house, and saw her so feeble, said; + </p> + <p> + “What kind of face is that, and how is your health? Now I see that you are + sorry you undertook this long fast! Ah, my sweetest love! have a firm and + constant mind. We have to-day achieved the half of our task: if your + nature is weak, conquer it by firmness and constancy of heart, and do not + break your faithful promise.” + </p> + <p> + He admonished her so kindly, that she took courage, so that it seemed to + her that the remaining fifteen days would hardly be noticed. + </p> + <p> + The twentieth came, and the poor simpleton had lost all colour and seemed + half dead, and felt no more desires of concupiscence than if she had been + really dead. She was obliged to take to her bed and continually remain + there, and then, it occurred to her mind that the clerk had caused her to + fast to punish her carnal appetites, and she came to the conclusion that + his methods were ingenious and effective, and would not have been thought + of by a less clever and good man. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, she was not less resolved to go on to the ead, and + thoroughly fulfil her promise. + </p> + <p> + On the last day but one of the fast, she sent for the clerk, who, when he + saw her in bed asked her if she had lost courage now that there was only + one day more to run? + </p> + <p> + But she, interrupting him, replied; + </p> + <p> + “Ah, my good friend, you loved me with a true and perfect love, and not + dishonourably, as I dared to love you. Therefore I shall esteem you, as + long as God gives life to me and to you, as my dearest and best friend, + who protected, and taught me to protect, my chastity, and the honour and + good name, of me, my husband, my relatives, and my friends. Blessed also + be my dear husband, whose advice and counsels I have kept, to the great + solace of my heart. But for you, my friend, I render you such thanks as I + may, for your honourable conduct and your great kindness to me, for which + I can never sufficiently requite you, nor can my friends.” + </p> + <p> + The good and wise clerk, seeing that he had achieved his object, took + leave of the fair damsel, and gently admonished her and advised her that + she should in future correct her body by abstinence and fasting whenever + she felt any prickings of lust. By which means she lived chastely until + the return of her husband, who knew nothing of the matter, for she + concealed it from him—and so also did the clerk. + </p> + <p> + THE END. <a name="linklinkimage-0056" id="linklinkimage-0056"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/footnotes.jpg" width="100%" alt="Footnotes.jpg" + title="Footnotes " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklink2H_NOTE" id="linklink2H_NOTE"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + NOTES. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-1" id="linklinknote-1"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 1 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-1">return</a>)<br /> [ This story is taken + from an old <i>fabliau</i> entitled <i>Les Deux Changeurs</i>, and has + been copied by Malespini, Straparolla, and other Italian writers. + Brantôme, in <i>Les Dames Galantes</i>, records that, “Louis, Duc + d’Orléans was a great seducer of Court ladies, and always the greatest. A + beautiful and noble lady was sleeping with him when her husband came into + the chamber to wish the Duke good-day. The Duke covered the lady’s head + with the sheet, and uncovered the rest of her body, and allowed the + husband to look and touch as much as he liked, but forbade him, as he + valued his life, to uncover her head—And the best of it was, that + the next night, the husband being in bed with his wife told her that the + Duke had shown him the most beautiful naked woman that ever he saw, but as + to her face he could not report, being forbidden to see it. I leave you to + imagine what his wife thought!” The lady was,—scandal averred—Mariette + d’Enghien, the mother of the brave and handsome Comte de Dunois, known in + French history as “the bastard of Orléans.” In the M. S. discovered by Mr. + Thomas Wright in the Hunterian Library at Glasgow, this story is ascribed + to “Monseigneur le Duc,” as is also the following one.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-3" id="linklinknote-3"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 3 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-3">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio. It has been imitated by Straparolo, Malespini—whom it + will be unnecessary to mention each time as he has copied the whole of the + <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i> with hardly one exception—Estienne (<i>Apologie + pour Hérodote</i>) La Fontaine (<i>Contes</i>, lib II, conte II) and + others. + </p> + <p> + Monseigneur de la Roche, the author of the story, was Chamberlain to the + Duke of Burgundy, at a salary of 36 <i>sols</i> per month. He was one of + the wisest councillors of Philippe le Bel and Charles le Téméraire, and + after the death of the latter was created Grand Seneschal of Burgundy. He + died about 1498. He was one of the most prolific of all the contributors + to the <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>, and related Nos 3, 8, 10, 12, 15, + 18, 36, 37, 41, 44, 45, 47, 48, and 52.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-4" id="linklinknote-4"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 4 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-4">return</a>)<br /> [ This and the three + following stories are all original.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-5" id="linklinknote-5"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 5 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-5">return</a>)<br /> [ An interesting anecdote + of the “warlike and martial Talbot.” Philippe de Laon was “squire of the + stables” to the Duke of Burgundy in 1461. He contributed also Nos. 20, 21, + 66, 67, 74, and 76.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-6" id="linklinknote-6"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 6 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-6">return</a>)<br /> [ Jean de Lanoy (Launoy, + in Vérard’s 1st ed.) created a knight of the Golden Fleece in 1451; an + officer of the household of the D. of Burgundy. Louis XI, on his + accession, created him Governor of Lille, and Bailli of Amiens, and sent + him on a secret mission to the King of England. Charles le Téméraire, + indignant with Lanoy for having gone over to his enemy, confiscated all + his possessions in Brabant. After the death of Charles, Lanoy went back to + Burgundy, and took an important share in the political events of the time. + In some editions stories Nos 82, and 92 are ascribed to him; in others, + the one is by Jehan Marten, and the other by “the Editor.”] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-8" id="linklinknote-8"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 8 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-8">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from Poggio (<i>Repensa + merces</i>). Has been imitated by La Fontaine (<i>Contes</i> lib III, + conte V.)] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-9" id="linklinknote-9"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 9 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-9">return</a>)<br /> [ An old story which + forms the subject of a “fable” by Enguerrand d’Oisi (<i>Le Meunier d’Aleu</i>) + also used by Boccaccio (Decameron 8th Day, 4th Story) and Poggio. Has + since been imitated by Margaret of Navarre (story VIII) Boucher, Chapuys, + and La Fortaine (<i>les Quiproquos</i>).] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-10" id="linklinknote-10"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 10 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-10">return</a>)<br /> [ So far as I am aware, + this story first appeared in <i>Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>. It was + subsequently imitated by the Author of <i>Les Joyeuses Adventures</i>, and + La Fontaine (<i>Contes</i> lib I. <i>conte</i> XII.)] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-11" id="linklinknote-11"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 11 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-11">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from Poggio; + afterwards used by Rabelais as “Hans Carvel’s Ring”, <i>Pantagruel</i>, + lib 3, chap 28.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-12" id="linklinknote-12"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 12 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-12">return</a>)<br /> [ The story is found in + Poggio and the <i>Cente Nouvelle Antiche</i>. There have been many modern + imitations, culminating in La Fontaine (<i>Contes</i>, lib 2. conte XII).] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-13" id="linklinknote-13"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 13 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-13">return</a>)<br /> [ By Jean d’Enghien, + Sieur de Kessergat, an official at the Court of Burgundy, and also “Amant” + or keeper of the Archives at Brussels. See also No. 53.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-14" id="linklinknote-14"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 14 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-14">return</a>)<br /> [ Can be traced back to + Josephus (<i>History of the Jews</i> lib XVIII. chap XIII.) Also found in + Boccaccio, La Fontaine, and Marmontel (<i>La Mari sylphe</i>). + </p> + <p> + Jean de Crequy was a knight of the Golden Fleece, and one of the twelve + nobles who carried the Duke’s body at the funeral of Philippe le Bel. This + is the only story he contributed.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-16" id="linklinknote-16"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 16 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-16">return</a>)<br /> [ A very old story, + probably of Eastern origin. It has been used by many story-tellers and is + found in Boccaccio (<i>Dec</i>. day VII, story VI) the <i>Gesta Romanorum</i>, + and in several of the collections of fabliaux. As for the versions of + later date than the <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>, they are still more + numerous. At least four of the followers of Boccaccio, also Marguerite of + Navarre (<i>Heptameron</i>), Estienne (<i>Apologie pour Hérodote</i>) and + several others have used it, to my knowledge.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-18" id="linklinknote-18"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 18 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-18">return</a>)<br /> [ Found in Boccaccio, + Poggio, and several of the <i>fabliaux</i>. Copied several times during + the 17th and 18th centuries, French writers apparently thinking that “the + gentleman of Burgundy” acted up to his title, and was not a mean and + contemptible scoundrel as most Englishmen would deem him.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-19" id="linklinknote-19"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 19 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-19">return</a>)<br /> [ An amusing story, + borrowed from the troubadours, and since copied by Sansovino, Chapuys, + Grécourt, and the author of <i>Joueuses Adventures</i>. + </p> + <p> + Philippe Vignier was <i>valet de chambre</i> to the Duke of Burgundy in + 1451. No. 86 is also ascribed to him in Mr. Wright’s edition.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-21" id="linklinknote-21"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 21 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-21">return</a>)<br /> [ From Poggio (<i>Priapus + vis</i>) and also forms the subject of one of La Fontaine’s <i>Contes</i>.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-22" id="linklinknote-22"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 22 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-22">return</a>)<br /> [ Caron was “clerk of + the chapel” to the Duke of Burgundy.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-23" id="linklinknote-23"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 23 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-23">return</a>)<br /> [ From an old <i>fabliau</i>; + since copied by several writers, French and Italian. + </p> + <p> + The author’s name is given as Commesuram by Verard and as de Qucevrain in + Mr. Wright’s edition. He is possibly identical with Louis de Luxembourg, + Count of St. Pol, whose name appears at the head of story 39. He also + contributed Nos. 62 and 72.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-24" id="linklinknote-24"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 24 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-24">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from an old + English ballad included in Percy’s Reliques. It is curious that the author—de + Fiennes—bears the same name as an English nobleman—Lord Saye + and Sele. + </p> + <p> + Thebaut de Luxembourg (Monseigneur de Fiennes) after the death of his + wife, Phillipine de Melun, turned monk, and lived to be Abbot of Igny and + Orcamp, and finally Bishop of Mans. He died in 1477. He also wrote No. + 43.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-25" id="linklinknote-25"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 25 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-25">return</a>)<br /> [ Monseigneur de Saint + Yon Was cup-bearer to Philippe le Bel, with a salary of 100 francs a + year.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-26" id="linklinknote-26"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 26 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-26">return</a>)<br /> [ Nothing is known of + M. de Foquessoles the writer of this story.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-27" id="linklinknote-27"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 27 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-27">return</a>)<br /> [ The name of de + Beauvoir attached to this story proves that the tales were not edited till + after 1461. For Jean de Montespedan followed Louis when he returned to + take the throne, and was created by him seigneur of Beauvoir. He was a + faithful follower of Louis, and in 1460 carried a letter from the Dauphin + to Charles VII—no pleasant, or even safe, task. He also wrote No. + 30.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-28" id="linklinknote-28"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 28 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-28">return</a>)<br /> [ Michault de Changy + was a Privy Councillor, Chamberlain, Chief Carver, and afterwards Steward, + to Dukes Philip and Charles. He was the trusty confidant and adviser of + the latter, who loaded him with favours. After the death of Charles le + Téméraire, Louis XI confirmed de Changy in all the offices which he held + in Burgundy. See also Nos. 40, 64, 79, and 80.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-31" id="linklinknote-31"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 31 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-31">return</a>)<br /> [ An almost identical + story is told of Henri de Guise in the <i>Historiettes</i> of Tallemant + des Réaux.] + </p> + <p> + Jean d’Estuer, Seigneur de la Barde was a trusty servant of Louis XI and + successively Seneschal of Limousin, Ambassador (or rather secret agent) to + England, Seneschal of Lyon, and Governor of Perpignan.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-32" id="linklinknote-32"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 32 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-32">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from Poggio, + and used afterwards by La Fontaine. De Villiers became one of the most + trusted servants of Louis XI, and conducted many difficult and delicate + negotiations for him.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-34" id="linklinknote-34"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 34 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-34">return</a>)<br /> [ The original of this + story is an old <i>fabliau</i>. It has been often imitated in more recent + times.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-38" id="linklinknote-38"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 38 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-38">return</a>)<br /> [ From Boccaccio (<i>Dec</i>., + day VII, nov VIII) but is of Eastern origin, and is found in Bidpai. It + was probably brought to France by the Crusaders, for it is met with in the + <i>fabliaux</i>. + </p> + <p> + Antoine de Chateauneuf, Baron de Lau, was a favourite of Louis XI, who + bestowed on him some important offices, and large sums of money. He + afterwards fell into disgrace, and was imprisoned in the castle of Usson, + in Auvergne, but managed to escape in 1468, retired to Burgundy, and seems + to have made his peace with Louis and been restored to favour, for he was + Governor of Perpignan in 1472. He died before 1485.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-39" id="linklinknote-39"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 39 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-39">return</a>)<br /> [ The Comte de Saint + Pol has been thought to be identical with M. de Commesuram, the author of + several of the <i>Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>. Saint Pol occupied an + important part in history, and was Constable of France, but he tried to + play a double game, and betrayed in turn both Louis and Charles the Bold. + At last he was arrested, condemned, and executed, December, 1475.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-42" id="linklinknote-42"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 42 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-42">return</a>)<br /> [ Hervé Meriadech, a + Breton squire and gallant soldier, who performed several gallant feats of + arms. Louis XI named him Governor of Tournay in 1461.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-46" id="linklinknote-46"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 46 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-46">return</a>)<br /> [ Much resembles No. + XII. The author is believed to be Chrestien de Dygoigne, whose name + appears at the head of story No. 68.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-47" id="linklinknote-47"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 47 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-47">return</a>)<br /> [ This is believed to + be a true story. The person who got rid of his wife in this cunning way + was Caffrey Carles, President of the Parliament of Grenoble. He was + skilled in Latin and “the humanities”—in the plural only it would + appear—and was chosen by Anne of Brittany, the wife of Louis XII, to + teach her daughter, Renée, afterwards Duchess of Perrara. + </p> + <p> + The story is so dramatic that it has been often imitated.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-50" id="linklinknote-50"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 50 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-50">return</a>)<br /> [ By Antoine de la + Sale, a short appreciation of whose literary merits appears in the + Introduction. He has appended his own name to this story; in other cases + he appears as “L’Acteur” that is to say the “Editor.” (See No. 51). The + story is taken from Sacchetti or Poggio. The idea has suggested itself to + many writers, including Lawrence Sterne, in Tristram Shandy.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-52" id="linklinknote-52"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 52 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-52">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from + Sacchetti.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-59" id="linklinknote-59"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 59 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-59">return</a>)<br /> [ by Poncelet, or + Pourcelet, one of the Council of the Duke of Burgundy.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-60" id="linklinknote-60"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 60 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-60">return</a>)<br /> [ by Poncelet, or + Pourcelet, one of the Council of the Duke of Burgundy. No. 60 is from an + old fabliau, (<i>Frère Denise, cordelier</i>) and is to be found in the <i>Heptameron</i>, + the <i>Apologie pour Hérodote</i> etc.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-61" id="linklinknote-61"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 61 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-61">return</a>)<br /> [ by Poncelet, or + Pourcelet, one of the Council of the Duke of Burgundy. No. 61 is also from + an old <i>fabliau</i>, (<i>Les Cheveux coupe’s</i>). Mr. Wright also + credits him with No. 89.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-63" id="linklinknote-63"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 63 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-63">return</a>)<br /> [ is related by + Montbleru himself, according to Mr. Wright’s edition, but in Vérard there + is no author’s name.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-64" id="linklinknote-64"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 64 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-64">return</a>)<br /> [ From an old <i>fabliau</i>, + and often imitated.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-69" id="linklinknote-69"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 69 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-69">return</a>)<br /> [ M. Leroux de Lincy + believes that Le Sage took the story of Dona Mencia,—intercalated in + <i>Gil Blas</i>—from this tale.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-75" id="linklinknote-75"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 75 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-75">return</a>)<br /> [ Gui, Seigneur de + Thalemas died, without issue, in 1463.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-76" id="linklinknote-76"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 76 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-76">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-78" id="linklinknote-78"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 78 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-78">return</a>)<br /> [ This story is + originally found in Boccaccio (<i>Dec</i>. day VII, nov V) and in an old + <i>fabliau</i>. (<i>Le Chevalier qui fist sa femme confesser</i>). La + Fontaine has imitated it. See note on No. 82.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-79" id="linklinknote-79"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 79 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-79">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-80" id="linklinknote-80"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 80 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-80">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-81" id="linklinknote-81"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 81 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-81">return</a>)<br /> [ By M. de Waulvrin + (Vaurin), Chamberlain to the Duke of Burgundy. He wrote a history of + England and France from the earliest times to 1471. Also contributed No. + 83.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-82" id="linklinknote-82"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 82 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-82">return</a>)<br /> [ In the Table of + Contents of Vérard’s edition, this story is ascribed to Monseigneur de + Lannoy, but at the head of the story itself the name of the author is + given as Jean Martin, who also wrote No. 78. Jean Martin was chief <i>sommelier + du corps</i> to Philippe le Bel. After the death of that Duke he did not + remain in the service of Charles le Téméraire, but retired to Dijon, where + he died, 28th Nov. 1475.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-84" id="linklinknote-84"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 84 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-84">return</a>)<br /> [ In the Table of + Contents this story is ascribed to the Marquis de Rothelin. He was Marquis + de Hocheberg, Comte de Neufchâtel (Switzerland) Seigneur de Rothelin etc. + Marshal of Burgundy, and Grand Seneschal of Provence. In 1491, he was + appointed Grand Chamberlain of France. He died in 1503.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-85" id="linklinknote-85"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 85 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-85">return</a>)<br /> [ The story is taken + from an old <i>fabliau (Le Forgeron de Creil)</i> and has been used also + by Sachetti, Des Periers and others. No author’s name is given in Vêrard, + but in the M.S. from which Mr. Wright worked, the name of M. de Santilly + is found at the head of this tale.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-88" id="linklinknote-88"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 88 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-88">return</a>)<br /> [ Found also in + Boccaccio (<i>Dec</i>. day VIII, nov. VII). Poggio (<i>Fraus mulieris</i>) + and in several of the collections of <i>fabliaux (La Bourgeoise d’Orléans)</i>. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Wright gives Alardin (who also contributed No. 77) as the author. An + Alardin Bournel returned to France with Louis XI in 1461.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-90" id="linklinknote-90"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 90 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-90">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-91" id="linklinknote-91"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 91 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-91">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-93" id="linklinknote-93"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 93 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-93">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio. According to Mr. Wright, by Timoléon Vignier, possibly a + brother of Philippe Vignier.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-95" id="linklinknote-95"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 95 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-95">return</a>)<br /> [ Taken from the <i>Facetiae</i> + of Poggio.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-96" id="linklinknote-96"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 96 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-96">return</a>)<br /> [ An exceedingly old + story, found in a <i>fabliau</i> by Rutebeuf, Poggio’s <i>Facetiae (Canis + testamentum)</i> etc. It also occurs in a collection of Russian folk-lore + tales.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinknote-99" id="linklinknote-99"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 99 (<a href="#linklinknoteref-99">return</a>)<br /> [ Also from Poggio’s <i>Facetiae + (Sacerdotis virtus)</i>. Several of the saints have performed the same + miracle in order to avoid the terrible sin of eating meat on a Friday. It + was amongst the meritorious acts of one—St. Johannes Crucis—who + was canonized as recently as 1840.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0057" id="linklinkimage-0057"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/endplate.jpg" width="100%" alt="Endplate.jpg" + title="Endplate " /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="linklinkimage-0058" id="linklinkimage-0058"> + <!-- IMG --></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img src="images/gilded-top.jpg" width="100%" alt="Gilded-top.jpg" + title=" Gilded pages " /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of One Hundred Merrie And Delightsome +Stories, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES *** + +***** This file should be named 18575-h.htm or 18575-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/5/7/18575/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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