diff options
Diffstat (limited to '18400.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 18400.txt | 10768 |
1 files changed, 10768 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/18400.txt b/18400.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..870853c --- /dev/null +++ b/18400.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10768 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Isopel Berners, by George Borrow, Edited by +Thomas Seccombe + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Isopel Berners + The History of certain doings in a Staffordshire Dingle, July, 1825 + + +Author: George Borrow + +Editor: Thomas Seccombe + +Release Date: May 16, 2006 [eBook #18400] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ISOPEL BERNERS*** + + + + + + +Transcribed from the 1901 Hodder and Stoughton edition by David Price, +email ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + +ISOPEL BERNERS + + +BY +GEORGE BORROW + +_The History of certain doings in a Staffordshire Dingle, July, 1825: An +Episode in the Autobiography of George Borrow_. + +THE TEXT EDITED WITH +INTRODUCTION & NOTES BY +THOMAS SECCOMBE +AUTHOR OF "THE AGE OF JOHNSON" +ASSISTANT EDITOR OF THE DICTIONARY +OF NATIONAL BIOGRAPHY + +LONDON: HODDER AND STOUGHTON +27 PATERNOSTER ROW +1901 + +_Printed by Hazell_, _Watson & Viney_, _Ld_., _London and Aylesbury_. + + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + +I. + + +The last century was yet in its infancy when the author of _The Romany +Rye_ first saw the light in the sleepy little East Anglian township of +East Dereham, in the county distinguished by Borrow as the one in which +the people eat the best dumplings in the world and speak the purest +English. "Pretty quiet D[ereham]" was the retreat in those days of a +Lady Bountiful in the person of Dame Eleanor Fenn, relict of the worthy +editor of the _Paston Letters_. It is better known in literary history +as the last resting-place of a sad and unquiet spirit, escaped from a +world in which it had known nought but sorrow, of "England's sweetest and +most pious bard," William Cowper. But Destiny was weaving a robuster +thread to connect East Dereham with literature, for George Borrow {1} was +born there on July 5th, 1803, and, nomad though he was, the place was +always dear to his heart as his earliest home. + +In 1816, after ramblings far and wide both in Ireland and in Scotland, +the Borrows settled in Norwich, where George was schooled under a master +whose name at least is still familiar to English youth, Dr. Valpy +(brother of Dr. Richard Valpy). Among his schoolfellows at the grammar +school were Rajah Brooke and Dr. James Martineau. George Borrow, a +hardened truant from his earliest teens, was once horsed, to undergo a +flogging, on the back of James Martineau, and he never afterwards took +kindly to the philosophy of that remarkable man. We are glad to know +that Edward Valpy's ferule was weak, though his scholarship was strong. +Stories were current that even in those days George used to haunt the +gipsy tents on that Mousehold Heath which lives eternally in the breezy +canvases of "Old Crome," and that he went so far as to stain his face +with walnut-juice to the right Egyptian hue. "Are you suffering from +jaundice, Borrow," asked the Doctor, "or is it merely dirt?" While at +Norwich, too, he was greatly influenced in the direction of linguistics +by the English "pocket Goethe," William Taylor, the head of a clan known +as the Taylors of Norwich, to distinguish them from a race in which the +principle of heredity was even more strikingly developed--the Taylors of +Ongar. In February 1824 his father, the gallant Captain Thomas Borrow, +died, and his articles in the firm of a Norwich solicitor having +determined, George went to London to commence literary man, in the old +sense of the servitude, under the well-known bookseller-publisher, Sir +Richard Phillipps. In Grub Street he translated and compiled galore, but +when the trees began to shoot in 1825 he broke his chain and escaped to +the country, to the dingle, and to Isopel Berners. + +To dwell upon the bare outlines of Borrow's early career would be a +superfluously dull proceeding. We shall only add a few names and dates +to the framework, supplied with a fidelity that is rare in much more +formal works of autobiography, in the pages of _Lavengro_. From the same +pages we may detach just a few of the earlier influences which went to +make up the rare and complex individuality of the writer. Borrow's +father, a fine old soldier, in revealing his son's youthful idiosyncrasy, +projects a clear mental image of his own habit of mind. "The boy had the +impertinence to say the classics were much over-valued, and amongst other +things that some horrid fellow or other, some Welshman, I think (thank +God it was not an Irishman), was a better poet than Ovid. {2} That a boy +of his years should entertain an opinion of his own, I mean one which +militates against all established authority, is astonishing. As well +might a raw recruit pretend to offer an unfavourable opinion on the +manual and platoon exercise. The idea is preposterous; the lad is too +independent by half." + +Borrow's account of his father's death is a highly affecting piece of +English. The ironical humour blent with pathos in his picture of this +ill-rewarded old disciplinarian (who combined a tenderness of heart with +a fondness for military metaphor that frequently reminds one of "My Uncle +Toby"), the details of the ailments and the portents that attended his +infantile career, and, above all, the glimpses of the wandering military +life from barrack to barrack and from garrison to garrison, inevitably +remind the reader of the childish reminiscences of Laurence Sterne, a +writer to whom it may thus early be said that George Borrow paid no small +amount of unconscious homage. A homage of another sort, fully recognised +and declared, was that paid to the great work of Defoe, and to the spirit +of strange and romantic enterprise which it aroused in its reader. + +After _Robinson Crusoe_ there played across the disk of his youthful +memory a number of weird and hairy figures never to be effaced. A +strange old herbalist and snake-killer with a skin cap first whetted his +appetite for the captivating confidences of roadside vagrants, and the +acquaintanceship serves as an introduction to the scene of the gipsy +encampment, where the young Sapengro or serpent charmer was first claimed +as brother by Jasper Petulengro. The picture of the encampment may serve +as an example of Borrovian prose, nervous, unembarrassed, and graphic. + + One day it happened, being on my rambles, I entered a green lane which + I had never seen before. At first it was rather narrow, but as I + advanced it became considerably wider. In the middle was a drift-way + with deep ruts, but right and left was a space carpeted with a sward + of trefoil and clover. There was no lack of trees, chiefly ancient + oaks, which, flinging out their arms from either side, nearly formed a + canopy and afforded a pleasing shelter from the rays of the sun, which + was burning fiercely above. Suddenly a group of objects attracted my + attention. Beneath one of the largest of the trees, upon the grass, + was a kind of low tent or booth, from the top of which a thin smoke + was curling. Beside it stood a couple of light carts, whilst two or + three lean horses or ponies were cropping the herbage which was + growing nigh. . . . + +As a pendant to the landscape take a Flemish interior. The home of the +Borrows had been removed in the meantime, in accordance with the roving +traditions of the family, from Norman Cross to Edinburgh and from +Edinburgh to Clonmel. + + And to the school I went [at Clonmel], where I read the Latin tongue + and the Greek letters with a nice old clergyman who sat behind a black + oaken desk with a huge Elzevir Flaccus before him, in a long gloomy + kind of hall with a broken stone floor, the roof festooned with + cobwebs, the walls considerably dilapidated and covered over with + stray figures in hieroglyphics evidently produced by the application + of a burnt stick. + +In Ireland, too, he made the acquaintance of the gossoon Murtagh, who +taught him Irish in return for a pack of cards. In the course of his +wanderings with his father's regiment he develops into a well-grown and +well-favoured lad, a shrewd walker and a bold rider. "People may talk of +first love--it is a very agreeable event, I dare say--but give me the +flush, the triumph, and glorious sweat of a first ride." {5} + +At Norwich he learns modern languages from an old _emigre_, a true +disciple of the _ancien cour_, who sets Boileau high above Dante; and +some misty German metaphysics from the Norwich philosopher, who +consistently seeks a solace in smoke from the troubles of life. His +father had already noted his tendency to fly off at a tangent which was +strikingly exhibited in the lawyer's office, where "within the womb of a +lofty deal desk," when he should have been imbibing Blackstone and +transcribing legal documents, he was studying Monsieur Vidocq and +translating the Welsh bard Ab Gwilym; he was consigning his legal career +to an early grave when he wrote this elegy on the worthy attorney his +master. + + He has long since sunk to his place in a respectable vault, in the + aisle of a very respectable church, whilst an exceedingly respectable + marble slab against the neighbouring wall tells on a Sunday some eye + wandering from its prayer-book that his dust lies below. To secure + such respectabilities in death he passed a most respectable life, a + more respectable-looking individual never was seen. + +In the meantime as a sequel to his questionings on the subjects of +reality and truth, the Author was asking himself "What is death?" and the +query serves as a prelude to the first of the many breezy dialogues with +that gipsy cousin-german to Autolycus, Jasper Petulengro. + + "What is your opinion of death, Mr. Petulengro?" + + "My opinion of death, brother, is much the same as that in the old + song of Pharaoh . . . when a man dies he is cast into the earth and + his wife and child sorrow over him. If he has neither wife nor child, + then his father and mother, I suppose; and if he is quite alone in the + world, why, then he is cast into the earth and there is an end of the + matter." + + "And do you think that is the end of man?" + + "There's an end of him, brother, more's the pity." + + "Why do you say so?" + + "Life is sweet, brother." + + "Do you think so?" + + "Think so! there's night and day, brother, both sweet things; sun, + moon and stars, brother, all sweet things; there's likewise a wind on + the heath. Life is very sweet, brother: who would wish to die?" + + "I would wish to die." + + "You talk like a gorgio--which is the same as talking like a fool; + were you a Romany chal you would talk wiser. Wish to die, indeed! a + Romany chal would wish to live for ever." + + "In sickness, Jasper?" + + "There's the sun and stars, brother." + + "In blindness, Jasper?" + + "There's the wind on the heath, brother; if I could only feel that I + would gladly live for ever. Daeta, we'll now go to the tents and put + on the gloves, and I'll try to make you feel what a sweet thing it is + to be alive, brother." + +Leaving Norwich and his legal trammels, a few weeks after his father's +death, in 1824, Lavengro reaches London--the scene of Grub Street +struggles not greatly relaxed in severity since the days of Newbery, +Gardener and Christopher Smart. As the genius of Hawthorne was cooped up +and enslaved for the American "Peter Parley," so that of Borrow was hag- +ridden by a bookseller publisher of an even worse type, the radical +alderman and philanthropic sweater, Sir Richard Phillipps. For this +stony-hearted faddist he covered reams of paper with printers' copy; and +we are told that the kind of compilation that he liked (and probably +executed) best was that of _Newgate Lives and Trials_. He had well-nigh +reached the end of his tether when he had the conversation with +Phillipps's head factotum, Taggart, which we cite below and recommend +feelingly to the consideration of every literary aspirant. Sordid and +commonplace enough are the details; simple and free from every kind of +inflation the language in which they are narrated. Yet how picturesque +are these vignettes of London life! How vivid and yet how strange are +the figures that animate them! The harsh literary impresario with his +"drug in the market," who seems to have stalked straight out of Smollett, +{8} the gnarled old applewoman, with every wrinkle shown, on her stall +upon London Bridge, the grasping Armenian merchant who softened at the +sound of his native tongue, the giddy young spendthrift Francis Ardry and +the confiding young creature who had permitted him to hire her a very +handsome floor in the West End, the gipsies and thimble-riggers in +Greenwich Park--what moving and lifelike figures are these, stippled in +with a seeming absence of art, yet as strange and as rare as a Night in +Bagdad, a chapter of Balzac, or the most fantastic scene in the _New +Arabian Nights_. + +This brief recapitulation--in which it has been possible but just to +touch upon a few of the inner springs of Borrow's life as revealed in the +autobiographical _Lavengro_--brings us once again to that spring day in +1825--May 20th--when the author disposed of an unidentifiable manuscript +for the sumptuous equivalent of 20 pounds. On May 22nd, after little +more than a year's residence in London, he abandons the city. From +London he proceeds to Amesbury, in Wiltshire, which he reaches on May +23rd; visits Stonehenge, the Roman Camp of Old Sarum and Salisbury; on +May 26th he leaves Salisbury, and (after an encounter with the long-lost +son of the old applewoman, returned from Botany Bay), strikes north-west. +On the 30th he has been walking four days in a northerly direction, when +he arrives at the inn where the maid Jenny refreshes him at the pump, and +he meets the author with whom he passes the night. On the 31st he +purchases the horse and cart of Jack Slingsby, whom he had previously +seen but once, at Tamworth, many years ago when he was little more than a +child. On June 1st he makes the first practical experience of a +vagrant's life, and passes the night in the open air in a Shropshire +dell; on June 5th he is visited by Leonora Herne, the grandchild of the +old "brimstone hag" who was jealous of the cordiality with which the +young stranger had been received by the Petulengroes and initiated in the +secrets of their gipsy tribe. Three days later, betrayed to the old +woman by Leonora, he is drabbed (_i.e_. poisoned) with the manricli or +doctored cake of Mrs. Herne; his life is in imminent danger, but he is +saved by the opportune arrival of Peter Williams. He passes Sunday, June +12th, with the Welsh preacher and his wife Winifred; on the 21st he +departs with his itinerant hosts to the Welsh border. Before entering +Wales, however, he turns back with Ambrose ("Jasper") Petulengro and +settles with his own stock-in-trade as tinker and blacksmith at the foot +of the dingle hard by Mumper's Lane, near Willenhall, in Staffordshire; +here at the end of June 1825 takes place the classical encounter between +the philologer and the flaming tinman--all this, is it not related in +_Lavengro_, and substantiated with much hard labour of facts and dates by +Dr. W. I. Knapp in his exhaustive biography of George Borrow? The +allurement of his genius is such that the etymologist shall leave his +roots and the philologer his Maeso-Gothic to take to the highway and +dwell in the dingle with "Don Jorge." + +Lavengro's triumph over the flaming tinman is the prelude to what +Professor Saintsbury justly calls "the miraculous episode of Ysopel +Berners," and the narrative of the author's life is thence continued, +with many digressions, but with a remarkable fidelity to fact as far as +the main issue is concerned, until the narrative, though not the life- +story of the author, abruptly terminates at Horncastle, in August 1825. +There follows what is spoken of as the veiled period of Borrow's life, +from 1826 to 1833. + +The years in which we drift are generally veiled from posterity. The +system of psychometry carried to such perfection by Obermann and Amiel +could at no time have been exactly congenial to Borrow, who spoke of +himself at this period as "digging holes in the sand and filling them up +again." Roughly speaking, the years appear to have been spent +comparatively uneventfully, for the most part in Norfolk. In December +1832 he walked to London to interview the British and Foreign Bible +Society, covering a hundred and twelve miles in twenty-seven hours on +less than sixpennyworth of food and drink. He was thirty years old at +the time, and the achievement was the pride of his remaining years. Six +months later, on the strength of his linguistic attainments, he managed +to get on the paid staff of the Society, to the bewilderment of Norwich +"friends," who were inclined to be ironical on the subject of the +transformation of the chum of hanged Thurtell and the disciple of godless +Billy Taylor into a Bible missionary. In July 1833, then, Borrow sets +out on his Eastern travels as the accredited agent of the Bible Society, +goes to St. Petersburg, "the finest city in the world," and obtains the +Russian imprimatur for a Manchu version of that suspicious novelty, the +Bible. He carried this scheme into execution to the general +satisfaction, and he returns to London in 1837; then to the south of +Europe, whence he reappears, larger than life and twice as natural, in +his masterly autobiographical romance of _The Bible in Spain_, the work +which made his name, which was sold by thousands, which was eagerly +acclaimed as an invaluable addition to "Sunday" literature, and pirated +in a generous spirit of emulation by American publishers. + +We are now come to the circumstance of the composition of _Lavengro_. +_The Bible in Spain_, when it appeared in 1843, implied a wonderful +background to the Author's experience, a career diversified by all kinds +of wild adventures, "sorcery, Jews, Gentiles, rambles," gipsies, +prisons,--what you will. {12} + +The personal element in the book--so suggestive of mystery and +romance--excited the strongest curiosity. Apart from this, however, the +reading public of 1843 were not unnaturally startled by a book which +seemed to profess to be a good, serious, missionary work, but for which +it was manifest that _Gil Blas_ and not Bishop Heber had been taken as a +model. Not that any single comparison of the kind can convey the least +idea of the complex idiosyncrasy of such a work. There is a substratum +of _Guide Book_ and _Gil Blas_, no doubt, but there are unmistakable +streaks of Defoe, of Dumas, and of Dickens, with all his native +prejudices and insular predilections strong upon him. A narrative so +wide awake amidst a vagrant population of questionable morals and alien +race suggests an affinity with _Hajji Baba_ (a close kinsman, we +conceive, of the Borrovian picaro). But, above all, as one follows the +author through the mazes of his book, one is conscious of two strangely +assorted figures, never far from the itinerant's side, and always ready +to improve the occasion if a shadow of an opportunity be afforded. One, +who is prolific of philological chippings, might be compared to a +semblance of Max Muller; while the other, alternately denouncing the +wickedness and deriding the toothlessness of a grim Giant Pope, may be +likened, at a distance, to John Bunyan. About the whole--to conclude--is +an atmosphere, not too pronounced, of the _Newgate Calendar_, and a few +patches of sawdust from the Prize Ring. May not people well have +wondered (the good pious English folk to whom _Luck_ is a scandal, as the +Bible Society's secretary wrote to Borrow),--what manner of man is this, +this muleteer-missionary, this natural man with a pen in the hand of a +prize-fighter, but of a prize-fighter who is afflicted with the fads of a +philologer--and a pedant at that? The surprise may be compared to what +that of a previous generation would have been, had it seen Johnson and +Boswell and Baretti all fused into one man. The incongruity is +heightened by familiarity with Borrow's tall, blonde, Scandinavian +figure, and the reader is reminded of those roving Northmen of the days +of simple mediaeval devotion, who were wont to signalise their conversion +from heathen darkness by a Mediterranean venture, combining the +characters of a piratical cruise and a pious pilgrimage. + +That Curiosity exaggerated and was a marvel-monger we shall attempt to +demonstrate. But, in the meantime, it was there, and it was very strong. +As for Borrow, he was prepared to derive stimulus from it just as long as +it maintained the unquestioning attitude of Jasper Petulengro when he +expressed the sentiments of gipsydom in the well-worn "Lor', brother, how +learned you are!" + +In February 1843 Borrow wrote to Murray that he had begun his _Life_--a +"kind of biography in the Robinson Crusoe style,"--and was determined +that it should surpass anything that he had already written. It had been +contemplated, he added, for some months already, as a possible sequel to +the _Bible in Spain_ if that proved successful. Hitherto, he wrote, the +public had said "Good" (to his _Gypsies of Spain_, 1841), "Better" (to +the _Bible in Spain_), and he wanted it, when No. 3 appeared, to say +"Best." Five years rapidly passed away, until, in the summer of 1848, +the book was announced as about to appear shortly, under the title of +_Lavengro: An Autobiography_, which was soon changed to _Life: a Drama_. +The difficulty of writing a book which should have "no humbug in it," +proved, as may well be supposed, immense, and would in any case be quite +sufficient to account for the long period of gestation. His perplexities +may have often been very near akin to those ascribed to the superstitious +author in the sixty-fifth chapter of _Lavengro_; his desire to be +original sadly cramping the powers of his mind, his fastidiousness being +so great that he invariably rejected whatever ideas he did not consider +to be legitimately his own. As a substitute for the usual padding of +humbug, sycophancy and second-hand ideas, he bethought himself of +philology, and he set himself to spring fragments of philological +instruction (often far from sound) upon his reader in the most unexpected +places, that his ingenuity could devise. He then began to base hopes +upon the book in proportion to its originality. At the last moment, +however, the Author grew querulous about his work, distrustful of the +reception that would be given to it, and even as to the advisability of +producing it at all. Much yet remained to be done, but for a long time +he refused, not only to forward new copy to Albemarle Street, but even to +revise the proofs of that which he had already written, and it required +all the dunning that Murray and the printer Woodfall dare apply before +_Lavengro_ with its altered sub-title (for at the last moment Borrow grew +afraid of openly avowing his identity with the speaking likeness which he +had created) could be announced as "just ready" in the _Athenaeum_ of +Dec. 14th, 1850. + +_Lavengro; the Scholar_, _the Gypsy_, _the Priest_, eventually appeared +in three volumes on Feb. 7th, 1851. The autobiographical _Lavengro_ +stopped short in July 1825, at the conclusion of the hundredth chapter, +with an abruptness worthy of the _Sentimental Journey_. The Author had +succeeded in extending the area of mystery, but not in satisfying the +public. Borrow's confidences were so very different in complexion from +those which the critics seemed to have expected, that they were taken +aback and declared to the public almost with one accord that the writer's +eccentricities had developed into mannerisms, that his theories of life +were political manifestoes, that his dialects were gibberish, and his +defiance of the orthodox canons of autobiography scarcely less than an +outrage upon the public taste. + +From the general public came a fusillade of requests to solve the +prevailing mystery of the book. Was it fact or fiction?--or, if fact and +fiction were blended, in what proportions? Borrow ought to have been +prepared for a question so natural in the mouths of literary busy-bodies +at any time, and especially at a time when partisan spirit was rampant, +and the vitality of the lampoon as a factor in politics so far from +extinct. To show his contempt alike for the critical verdict and the +popular curiosity, after a quarrel, or at least a sharp coolness with +John Murray, he published in two volumes, in May 1857, _The Romany Rye_, +which carries on the story of _Lavengro_ for just about a month further, +namely, down towards the end of August 1825, and there again stops dead. +Whether we regard coherence or the rate of progress, no more attempt at +amendment is perceptible than can be discerned in the later as compared +with the earlier volumes of _Tristram Shandy_. The peculiarities of the +earlier volume are, indeed, here accentuated, while the Author had +evidently only been confirmed by the lapse of years in the political +philosophy to which he had already given expression. At the end was +printed an appendix (a sort of _catalogue raisonne_ of Borrovian +prejudices), satirising with unmeasured bitterness the critics of +_Lavengro_. + +The resumption of a story after an interval of over six years, with +appendages so extravagant, whether we regard their tenor or their length, +and with an indifference so sublime to the popular desire that he should +get along with his personal narrative, was hardly calculated to +conciliate critical opinion; but it had one capital effect. It drew from +Whitwell Elwin, himself a Norfolk man, and a literary critic of the +widest grasp and knowledge, this remarkable testimony: that far from +exaggerating such incidents as were drawn from his own experience (not a +few, as he himself could verify), Borrow's descriptions were rather +_within the truth than beyond it_. "However picturesquely they may be +drawn, the lines are invariably those of nature. . . . There can be no +doubt that the larger part, and possibly the whole of the work, is a +narrative of actual occurrences." + +Here, then, is the heart of the mystery, or of the mystery that is +apparent; the phenomenon is due primarily to the fact that Borrow's book +is so abnormally true as regards the matter, while in manner of +presentation it is so strikingly original. There are superficial traces, +no doubt, of not a few writers of the eighteenth century. In some of his +effects Borrow reproduces Sterne: essentially Sternean, for instance, is +the interview between the youthful author and the experienced Mr. +Taggart. + + "Well, young gentleman," said Taggart to me one morning when we + chanced to be alone, a few days after the affair of cancelling, "how + do you like authorship?" + + "I scarcely call authorship the drudgery I am engaged in," said I. + + "What do you call authorship?" said Taggart. + + "I scarcely know," said I; "that is, I can scarcely express what I + think it." + + "Shall I help you out?" said Taggart, turning round his chair, and + looking at me. + + "If you like," said I. + + "To write something grand," said Taggart, taking snuff; "to be stared + at--lifted on people's shoulders." + + "Well," said I, "that is something like it." + + Taggart took snuff. + + "Well," said he, "why don't you write something grand?" + + "I have," said I. + + "What?" said Taggart. + + "Why," said I, "there are those ballads." + + Taggart took snuff. + + "And those wonderful versions from Ab Gwilym." + + Taggart took snuff again. + + "You seem to be very fond of snuff," said I, looking at him angrily. + + Taggart tapped his box. + + "Have you taken it long?" + + "Three-and-twenty years." + + "What snuff do you take?" + + "Universal Mixture." + + "And you find it of use?" + + Taggart tapped his box. + + "In what respect?" said I. + + "In many--there is nothing like it to get a man through; but for snuff + I should scarcely be where I am now." + + "Have you been long here?" + + "Three-and-twenty years." + + "Dear me," said I; "and snuff brought you through? Give me a + pinch--pah, I don't like it," and I sneezed. + + "Take another pinch," said Taggart. + + "No," said I; "I don't like snuff." + + "Then you will never do for authorship; at least for this kind." + + "So I begin to think. What shall I do?" + + Taggart took snuff. + + "You were talking of a great work. What shall it be?" + + Taggart took snuff. + + "Do you think I could write one?" + + Taggart uplifted his two forefingers as if to tap; he did not, + however. + + "It would require time," said I, with half a sigh. + + Taggart tapped his box. + + "A great deal of time. I really think that my ballads--" + + Taggart took snuff. + + "If published, would do me credit. I'll make an effort, and offer + them to some other publisher." + + Taggart took a double quantity of snuff. + +Equally Sterne-like is the conclusion to a chapter: "Italy--what was I +going to say about Italy?" + +Less superficial is the influence of Cervantes and his successors of the +Picaresque school, down to the last and most representative of them in +England, namely Defoe and Smollett. Profoundest of all, perhaps, is the +influence of Defoe, of whose powers of intense realisation, exhibited in +the best parts of _Robinson Crusoe_, we get a fine counterpart amid the +outcasts in Mumper's Lane. Bound up with the truthfulness and +originality of the Author is that strange absence of sycophancy, which we +may flatter ourselves is no exceptional thing, but which is in reality a +very rare phenomenon in literature. + +Apart from this independence of character which he so justly prized, and +a monomania or two, such as his devotion to philology or detestation of +popery, Borrow's mental peculiarities are not by any means so extravagant +as has been supposed. His tastes were for the most part not unusual, +though they might be assorted in a somewhat uncommon manner. He was a +thorough sportsman in the best sense, but he combined with his sporting +zeal an instinctive hatred of gambling, of bad language, and of tyranny +or cruelty in any form. He entertained a love for the horse in the +stable without bowing down to worship the stage-coachmen, the jockeys, +and other ignoble heroes of "horsey" life. He loved his country and "the +quiet, unpretending Church of England." He was ready to exalt the +obsolescent fisticuffs and the "strong ale of Old England," but he was +not blind either to the drunkenness or to the overbearing brutality which +he had reason to fear might be held to disfigure the character of the +swilling and prize-fighting sections among his compatriots. {20a} + +Borrow was a master of whim; but it is easy to exaggerate his +eccentricity. As a traveller who met with adventures upon the roads of +Britain he was surpassed by a dozen writers that could be named, and in +our own day--to mention one--by that truly eccentric being "The Druid." +{20b} The Druid had a special affinity with Borrow, in regard to his +kindness for an old applewoman. His applewoman kept a stall in the +Strand to which the Druid was a constant visitor, mainly for the purpose +of having a chat and borrowing and repaying small sums, rarely exceeding +one shilling. As an author, again, Borrow was as jealous as one of +Thackeray's heroines; he could hardly bear to hear a contemporary book +praised. Whim, if you will, but scarcely an example of literary +eccentricity. + +Borrow developed a delightful faculty for adventure upon the high road, +but such a faculty was far less singular than his gift--akin to the +greatest painter's power of suggesting atmosphere--of investing each +scene and incident with a separate and distinct air of uncompromising +reality. Many persons may have had the advantage of hearing conversation +as brilliant or as wise as that of the dinner at Dilly's: what is +distinctive of genius is the power to convey the general feeling of the +interlocutors, to suggest a dramatic effect, an artistic whole, as +Boswell does, by the cumulative effect of infinitesimal factors. The +triumph in each case is one not of opportunities but of the subtlest +literary sense. + +Similarly, Borrow's fixed ideas had little that was really exceptional or +peculiar about them. His hatred of mumbo-jumbo and priestcraft was but a +part of his steady love of freedom and sincerity. His linguistic mania +had less of a philological basis than he would have us believe. +Impatience that Babel should act as a barrier between kindred souls, an +insatiable curiosity, prompted by the knowledge that the language of +minorities was in nine cases out of ten the direct route to the heart of +the secret of folks that puzzled him--such were the motives that +stimulated a hunger for strange vocabularies, not in itself abnormal. The +colloquial faculty which he undoubtedly possessed--for we are told by +Taylor that when barely eighteen he already knew English, Welsh, Irish, +Latin, Greek, Hebrew, German, Danish, French, Italian, and +Portuguese--rarely goes with philological depth any more than with +idiomatic purity. Borrow learnt some languages to translate, many to +speak imperfectly. {22} + +But as a comparative philologist, with claims to scientific equipment, +his _Targum_, with its boasted versions from thirty languages or +dialects, pales considerably before the almost contemporary _Philological +Grammar_, based upon a comparison of over sixty tongues, by the Dorset +poet William Barnes, who, like Borrow himself, was a self-taught man. To +mention but two more English contemporaries of Borrow, there was Thomas +Watts, of the British Museum, who could read nearly fifty languages, +including Chinese; and Canon Cook, the editor of the _Speaker's +Commentary_, who claimed acquaintance with fifty-four. It is commonly +said of Cardinal Mezzofanti that he could speak thirty and understand +sixty. It is quite plain from the pages of _Lavengro_ itself that Borrow +did not share Gregory XVI.'s high estimate of the Cardinal's mental +qualifications, unrivalled linguist though he was. That a "word-master" +so abnormal is apt to be deficient in logical sense seems to have been +Borrow's deliberate opinion (with a saving clause as to exceptions), and +I have often thought that it must have been Shakespeare's too, for does +he not ascribe a command of tongues to the man who is perhaps the most +consummate idiot in the whole range of Shakespearean portraiture? + + MARIA. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk + of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in here to + be her wooer. + + SIR TOBY BELCH. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? + + MARIA. Ay, he. + + SIR TOBY. He's as tall a man as any in Illyria. + + MARIA. What's that to the purpose? + + SIR TOBY. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year. + + MARIA. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats: he's a very + fool and a prodigal. + + SIR TOBY. Fie that you'll say so! He plays o' the viol de gamboys, + and speaks three or four languages word for word, without book. + +The extraordinary linguistic gifts of a Mezzofanti were not, it is true, +concentrated in Borrow (whose powers in this direction have been +magnified), but they were sufficiently prominent in him to have a +determining effect upon his mind. Thus he was distinguished less for +broad views than for an extraordinary faculty for detail; when he +attempts to generalise we are likelier to get a flood of inconsequent +prejudices than a steady flow of reasoned opinions. + +We can frequently study an author with good effect through the medium of +his literary admirations; we have already noticed a few of Borrow's +predilections in real life. With regard to literature, his predilections +(or more particularly what Zola would call his _haines_) were fully as +protestant and as thorough. His indifference to the literature of his +own time might be termed brutal; his intellectual self-sufficiency was +worthy of a Macaulay or of a Donne. A fellow-denouncer of snobs, he made +Thackeray very uncomfortable by his contemptuous ignorance of _The Snob +Papers_, and even of the name of the periodical in which they were +appearing. Concerning Keats he once asked, "Have they not been trying to +resuscitate him?" When Miss Strickland wanted to send him her Lives, he +broke out: "For God's sake don't, madam; I should not know where to put +them or what to do with them." Scott's _Woodstock_ he picked up more +than once and incontinently threw down as "trashy." As a general rule he +judged a modern author by his prejudices. If these differed by a hair's +breadth from his own he damned the whole of his work. He had to his +credit a vast fund of quaint out-of-the-way reading; not to be acquainted +with this was dense unpardonable ignorance: what he had not read was +scarcely knowledge. He was not what one could fairly call unread in the +classical authors, for in a survey of his reviewers he compared himself +complacently enough with Cervantes, Bunyan and Le Sage. He had the +utmost suspicion of literary models; to try to be like somebody else was +the too popular literary precept that he held in the greatest abhorrence. +The gravity of his prescription of Wordsworth as a specific in cases of +chronic insomnia is probably due rather to the thorough sincerity of his +view than to any conscious subtlety of humour. He disliked Scott +especially for his easy tolerance of Jacobites and Papists, {25} while he +distrusted his portraits, those portraits of the rougher people which may +have frequently been over-praised by Scott's admirers. We most of us +love Scott, it is a fact, beyond the power of nice discrimination. As to +the verisimilitude of a portrait such as that of Meg Merrilies we must +allow Borrow to be a most competent critic, but we are at a loss to +sympathise with his failure to appreciate studies of such lifelike +fidelity as Edie Ochiltree and Andrew Fairservice, whose views anent "the +muckle hure that sitteth on seven hills, as if ane wasna braid eneugh for +her auld hinder end," had so much that was in sympathy with Borrow's own. + +Of all such prejudices and peculiarities, no less than of his gifts, +Borrow was ridiculously proud. In certain respects he was as vainly, +querulously, and childishly assertive as Goldsmith himself; while in the +haughty self-isolation with which he eschewed the society of people with +endowments as great or even greater than his own, he was quite the +opposite of "poor Goldy." If the latter had regarded his interlocutors +straight in the eyes with a look that told them he was prepared to knock +them down at a moment's notice upon the least provocation, we should +probably have heard less of his absurdities. A man who even in his old +age could walk off with E. J. Trelawny {27a} under his arm (as Mr. Watts- +Dunton assures us Borrow could) was certainly not one to be trifled with. + +Borrow's absolute unconventionality was of course an offence to many; to +Englishmen, who were dreaming in the fifties of a kind of industrial +millennium, with Cobden as the prophet and Macaulay as the preacher of a +new gospel of commercial prosperity and universal peace and progress, +Borrow's pre-railroad prejudices and low tastes appeared obscurantist, +dark, squalid, unintelligible. {27b} He ran out his books upon a line +directly counter to the literary current of the day, and, naturally +enough, the critical billow broke over him. + +Hazlitt's proposition--so readily accepted by the smug generation of his +day--that London was the only place in which the child could grow up +completely into the man--would have appeared the most perverse kind of +nonsense to Borrow. The complexity of a modern type, such as that of a +big organiser of industrial labour, did not impress him. He esteemed the +primitive above the economic man, and was apt to judge a human being +rather as Robinson Crusoe might have done than in the spirit of a juryman +at an Industrial Exhibition. Again, his feeling for nature was intimate +rather than enthusiastic, at a time when people still looked for a good +deal of pretty Glover-like composition in their landscapes. + +One of the most original traits of Borrow's genius was the care and +obstinacy with which he defended his practical, vigorous and alert +personality against the allurements of word-painting, of Nature and of +Reverie. He could respond to the thrill of natural beauty, he could +enjoy his mood when it veritably came upon him, just as he could enjoy a +tankard of old ale or linger to gaze upon a sympathetic face; but he +refused to pamper such feelings, still more to simulate them; he refused +to allow himself to become the creature of literary or poetic ecstasy; he +refused to indulge in the fashionable debauch of dilettante melancholy. +He wrote about his life quite naturally, "as if there were nothing in +it." Another and closely allied cause of perplexity and discontent to +the literary connoisseurs was Borrow's lack of style. By style, in the +generation of Macaulay and Carlyle, of Dickens and George Eliot, was +implied something recondite--a wealth of metaphor, imagery, allusion, +colour and perfume--a palette, a pounce-box, an optical instrument, a +sounding-board, a musical box, anything rather than a living tongue. To +a later race of stylists, who have gone as far as Samoa and beyond in the +quest of exotic perfumery, Borrow would have said simply, in the words of +old Montaigne, "To smell, though well, is to stink,"--"Malo, quam bene +olere, nil olere." Borrow, in fact, by a right instinct went back to the +straightforward manner of Swift and Defoe, Smollett and Cobbett, whose +vigorous prose he specially admired; and he found his choice ill +appreciated by critics whose sense of style demanded that a clear glass +window should be studded with bull's-eyes. To his distinctions of being +a poet well-nigh incapable of verse, and a humourist with marvellously +little pathos, Borrow thus added one which we are inclined to regard as +the greatest of all--that of being a great nineteenth-century +prose-writer without a style. + +Though he did not elaborate, or strive to attain to the cultism or polite +style of contemporary genius, Borrow seems to have written with some +difficulty (or at any rate a lack of facility), and, impervious as he was +to criticism, he retained in his prose a number of small faults that he +might easily have got rid of. His manner of introducing his generalities +and conclusions is often either superfluous, or lame and clumsy. Despite +his natural eloquence, his fondness for the apostrophe is excessive; he +preserved an irritating habit of parading such words as _eclat_, +_penchant_ and _monticle_, and persisted in saying "of a verity," and +using the word "individual" in the sense of person. Such blemishes are +microscopic enough. It was not such trifles as these that proved +stumbling-blocks to the "men of blood and foam," as he called his +critics. + +Of the generality of the critics of that day it would probably be well +within the mark to aver that their equipment was more solid, and their +competence more assured than that of their successors; {30} it would be +safe to assert that their self-sufficiency was also decidedly more +pronounced. Now for reasons which we have endeavoured to explain, the +equanimity of the critical reviewers was considerably ruffled by +_Lavengro_. Perplexed by its calling itself an autobiography, they were +at the same time discontented both with its subject-matter and its style. +To a not altogether misplaced curiosity on the part of the public as to +Borrow's antecedents, the author of the _Bible in Spain_ had responded by +_Lavengro_, which he fully meant to be (what it indeed was) a +masterpiece. Yet public and critics were agreed in failing to see the +matter in this light. As the reader will probably have deduced from the +foregoing pages, the trouble was mainly due to the following causes. +First, baffled curiosity. Secondly, a dislike for Borrow's prejudices. +Thirdly, a disgust at his philistinism in refusing to bow down and +worship the regnant idols of 'taste.' Fourthly, the total absence in +Borrow of the sentimentality for which the soul of the normal Englishman +yearns. Fifthly, disappointment at not finding the critic's due from an +accepted author in quotable passages of picturesque prose. + +These views are appropriately summed up through the medium of the pure +and scentless taste of the _Athenaeum_. The varied contents of +_Lavengro_ are here easily reduced to one denomination--'balderdash,' for +the emission of which the _Athenaeum_ critic proceeds (in the interests, +of course, of the highest gentility), to give George Borrow a good +scolding. + +How sadly removed was such procedure from Borrow's own ideal of +reviewing, as set forth in the very volume under consideration! Such +operations should always, he held, be conducted in a spirit worthy of an +editor of Quintilian, in a gentlemanly, Oxford-like manner. No +vituperation! No insinuations! Occasionally a word of admonition, but +gently expressed as an Oxford M.A. might have expressed it. Some one had +ventured to call the _Bible in Spain_ a grotesque book, but the utterance +had been drowned in the chorus of acclamation. Now Borrow complained +that he had had the honour of being rancorously abused by every unmanly +scoundrel, every sycophantic lacquey, and every political and religious +renegade in the kingdom. His fury was that of an angry bull tormented by +a swarm of gnats. His worst passions were aroused; his most violent +prejudices confirmed. His literary zeal, never extremely alert, was +sensibly diminished. + +This last result at least was a calamity. Nevertheless the great end +had, in the main, already been accomplished. Borrow had broken through +the tameness of the regulation literary memoir, and had shown the naked +footprint on the sand. The 'great unknown' had gone down beneath his +associations, his acquirements and his adventures, and had to a large +extent revealed _himself_--a primitive man, with his breast by no means +wholly rid of the instincts of the wild beast, grappling with the problem +of a complex humanity: an epitome of the eternal struggle which alone +gives savour to the wearisome process of "civilisation." For the +conventional man of the lapidary phrase and the pious memoir (corrected +by the maiden sister and the family divine), Borrow dared to substitute +the _genus homo_ of natural history. Perhaps it was only to be expected +that, like the discoveries of another Du Chaillu, his revelations should +be received with a howl of incredulity. + +Almost alone, as far as we can discover, among the critics of the day +Emile Montegut realised _to the full_ the true greatness, the +originality, the abiding quality and interest of Borrow's work. Writing +in September 1857 upon "Le Gentilhomme Bohemien" (an essay which appears +in his _Ecrivains Modernes de l'Angleterre_, between studies on "Mistress +Browning" and Alfred Tennyson), Montegut remarks of Borrow's "humoristic +Odyssey":-- + + "Unfinished and fragmentary, these writings can dispense with a + conclusion, for they have an intrinsic value, and each page bears the + impress of reality. The critic who has to give his impressions of one + of Borrow's books is in much the same case as a critic who had to give + his impressions in turn of the different parts of _Gil Blas_ as they + successively appeared. The work is incomplete, but each several part + is excellent and can be appreciated by itself. Borrow has + resuscitated a literary form which had been many years abandoned, and + he has resuscitated it in no artificial manner--as a rhythmical form + is rehabilitated, or as a dilettante re-establishes for a moment the + vogue of the roundel or the virelay--but quite naturally as the + inevitable setting for a picture which has to include the actors and + the observations of the author's vagabond life. To a clear and + unprejudiced mind, observation of the life of the common folk and, + above all, of the itinerant population and of their equivocal moral + code, of necessity and invariably, compels resort to the form and + manner of the _novela picaresca_. + + "The huge sensational romance [Sue], the creaking machinery of + melodrama [Boucicault], with which it has been attempted in our own + day to portray certain tableaux of the life of the people, only + succeed, owing to the extravagance of their construction, in + demonstrating the complete ignorance on the part of the writers of the + subject which they pretend to describe. Borrow has not of set purpose + adopted the picaresque form: search his pages where you will, you will + find not a trace of such an intention. He has rediscovered the + picaresque method, as it were instinctively, by the mere fact of his + having to express sentiments of a certain description; he has indeed + rediscovered it by the same process which led Cervantes and Hurtado de + Mendoza to invent it--by virtue of that necessity which always enables + genius to give the most appropriate clothing to its conceptions. To + attain this result, however, it is necessary that genius should not be + thrown off its balance by deliberate ambition, or too much preoccupied + by the immediate desire to succeed. By his conformity to all these + conditions, Borrow has become, without giving a thought to such + purpose, the Quevedo and the Mendoza of modern England." + +Beyond all this there is quite another and perhaps an even more potent +reason why the critics of a later generation have felt constrained to +place this work of Borrow's upon a higher pedestal than their +predecessors did. + +As within the four angles of a painting there is nothing more difficult +to confine than sunlight and atmosphere, so in literature is it a task of +the highest achievement to compass the wind on the heath, the sunshine +and the rain. We know the dark background, the mystery and the awe of +the forest, how powerfully they are suggested to us by some old writers +and some modern ones, such as Spenser and Fouque, by the author of _The +Pathfinder_ and Thoreau; the scent of the soil, once again, in rain and +in shine, is it not conveyed to us with an astonishing distinctness, that +is the product of a literary endowment of the rarest order, by such +writers as Izaak Walton and Robert Burns, and among recent writers in +varying degrees by Richard Jefferies and by Barnes, by T. E. Brown and +Thomas Hardy? And then there is the kindred touch, hardly if at all less +rare, which evokes for us the camaraderie and blithe spirit of the +highway: the winding road, the flashing stream, the bordering coppice, +the view from the crest, the twinkling lights at nightfall from the +sheltering inn. Traceable in a long line of our most cherished writers, +from Chaucer and Lithgow and Nash, Defoe and Fielding, and Hazlitt and +Holcroft, the fascination of the road that these writers have tried to +communicate, has never perhaps been expressed with a nicer discernment +than in the _Confessions_ of Rousseau, that inveterate pedestrian who +walked Europe to the rhythm of ideas as epoch-making as any that have +ever emanated from the mind of man. + + "La chose que je regrette le plus" (writes Rousseau) "dans les details + de ma vie dont j'ai perdu la memoire, est de n'avoir pas fait des + journaux de mes voyages. Jamais je n'ai tant pense, tant existe, tant + vecu, tant ete moi, si j'ose ainsi dire, que dans ceux que j'ai faits + seul et a pied. La marche a quelque chose qui anime et avive mes + idees: je ne puis presque penser quand je reste en place; il faut que + mon corps soit en branle pour y mettre mon esprit. La vue de la + campagne, la succession des aspects agreables, le grand air, le grand + appetit, la bonne sante que je gagne en marchant, la liberte du + cabaret, l'eloignement de tout ce qui me fait sentir ma dependance, de + tout ce qui me rappelle a ma situation: tout cela degage mon ame." + +It is a possession in a rare degree of this wonderful open-air quality as +a writer that constrains us in our generation to condone any offences +against the mint and anise and cummin decrees of literary infallibility +that Borrow may have from time to time committed. And when it is +realised, in addition, what a unique knowledge he possessed of the daily +life, the traditions, the folk-lore, and the dialects of the strange +races of vagrants, forming such a picturesque element in the life of the +road, the documentary value, as apart from the literary interest of +Borrow's work, becomes more and more manifest. + +_Lavengro_ is not a book, it is true, to open sesame to the first comer, +or to yield up one tithe of its charm upon a first acquaintance. Yet, in +spite of the "foaming vipers," as Borrow styles his critics, _Lavengro's_ +roots have already struck deep into the soil of English literature, as +Dr. Hake predicted that they would. {37} We know something about the dim +retreating Arcady from Dr. Jessopp, we know something of the old farmers +and tranters and woodlanders from Hardy, something of late Georgian +London from Dickens, something of the old Lancashire mill-hands from Mrs. +Gaskell, and something of provincial town-life in the forties and fifties +from George Eliot. It has fallen to Borrow to hold up the mirror to wild +Nature on the roadside and the heath. + + "The personages in these inimitable books are not merely snap-shots, + they are living pictures; and, more than that, the people are moving + about amid fluttering leaves and flickering sunlight and waves of + shadow and rippling brooks. One neither misses the colours of the + landscapes nor the very sounds of the voices. Moreover, the + characters, though we feel that they have never come within the range + of our experience, yet did actually live and move and talk as they are + represented; and we know, too, that such characters have passed away + from our earth--improved off the face of it. And we regret, in spite + of ourselves, that these gypsies are gone. The rogues will never come + back! A feeling of disappointment is apt to come over us as we read, + and we are ready to stop and ask angrily, 'Why can't we drop in among + the tents, and see an Ursula or a Pakomovna, and have our fortunes + told as of yore?' And we know that it cannot be, and that the Romany + Rye is a being who lived and moved in a different age from ours, as + different as the age of Hector and Achilles, when warriors fought in + their chariots round the walls of Troy, and the long-haired Achaians + hurled their spears and stole one another's horses in the darkness, + and kings made long speeches armed to the teeth, and ran away with + other kings' wives or multiplied their own. We go on to confess to + ourselves that we must be content with hearing about all the strange + experience of the Romany Rye at second-hand, and since it must be so, + we shall do well to surrender ourselves to such a magician as this and + make the best of it." {38} + +After the publication of the _Romany Rye_ in 1857, Borrow made one more +contribution to Belles Lettres in the book called _Wild Wales_, issued in +three volumes in 1862. It commemorates a journey made in the summer of +1854, while its heroic championship of the Bardic literature recalls the +earlier enthusiasm for Ab Gwilym. If after his return from Spain a +definite sphere of activity abroad could have been allotted to Borrow (by +preference in the East, as he himself desired), we might have had from +his pen contributions to the study of Eastern life that would have added +lustre to a group of writers already brilliantly represented in England +by Curzon and Kinglake, Lane and Morier, Palgrave and Burton. With +Burton's love of roving adventure, of strange tongues, and of +anthropology in its widest sense, the author of the _Bible in Spain_ had +many points in common. As it was, the later years of Borrow's life were +spent somewhat moodily, and with some of the mystery of Swift's or of +Rousseau's, at Oulton, near Lowestoft, whence, at Christmas 1874, he sent +a message to the neighbouring hermit, Edward Fitzgerald at Woodbridge, in +the vain hope of eliciting a visit. {39a} His wife, who had been won +with her widow's jointure and dower during the flush of his missionary +successes in 1840, died at the end of January 1869, {39b} and on July +26th, 1881, after years spent in a strange seclusion at Oulton, tended +latterly by his step-daughter Henrietta, George Borrow was found dead in +his bed, dying as he had lived, alone. Not long after his death, which +took place when he was seventy-eight, Borrow's Oulton home was pulled +down. All that now remains to mark the spot where it once stood are the +old summer-house in which he wrote _Lavengro_, and the ragged fir-trees +that sighed the requiem of his last hours. Without appealing to "the +shires," but in the Eastern counties alone, he has been commemorated +since his death by such writers as Henry Dutt, and Whitwell Elwin, by +Egmont Hake, by Theodore Watts-Dunton, and by Dr. Jessopp. And now ere +the close of the century {40} it has fallen to the lot of yet another +East Anglian to place a small stone upon the cairn of George Borrow. + + + +II. + + +The two books _Lavengro_ and _Romany Rye_ are in reality one work, an +unfinished autobiography, commenced upon a moderate and quite feasible +scale; but after about a third of the ground is covered the scale is +enormously increased, the narrative, encumbered by a vast amount of +detail, makes less and less progress, and finally stops short, without +any obvious, but rather a lame and impotent conclusion, at chapter xlvii. +of the _Romany Rye_, or chapter cxlvii. of the work considered as one +whole. The disproportion of the scale will be sufficiently indicated +when we point out that the first twenty-two years of the author's life +are treated pretty equally in fifty-seven chapters (i. to lvii.). The +remaining ninety chapters (lviii. to cxlvii.) are wholly taken up by the +incidents of less than four months, the four summer months of 1825. The +first twenty-two years of the author's life are far from commonplace. The +interest is well sustained, but is seldom intense,--at no point is the +author's memory sufficiently teeming to cause an overflow; but with the +conclusion of his sojourn in London, May 22nd, 1825, commences an +itinerant life, the novelty of which graves every incident in the most +vivid possible manner upon the writer's recollection. With his +emancipation from town life a new graphic impulse is developed. Borrow +seizes a new palette and sets to work with fresher colours upon a +stupendous canvas. This canvas may be described as taking the form of a +triptych. In the first compartment we have the first sensations of the +roadfarer's life and some minor adventures: a visit to Stonehenge; the +strange meeting with a returned convict, who turns out to be the old +applewoman's son; the vignette of the hostelry, with the figures of the +huge fat landlord and the handmaid Jenny; the visit to the stranger +gentleman who protects himself by "touching" against evil chance; the +interview with the Rev. Mr. Platitude, and the bargain struck with the +travelling tinker, Jack Slingsby, whose stock-in-trade and profession the +writer determines to adopt. Then comes the word-master's detection in +his new sphere of life by the malignant gipsy godmother, Mrs. Herne, from +whose remorseless attempt to poison him he is rescued by the kindly +hearted Welsh preacher Peter Williams and his wife Winifred. In requital +he manages to relieve the good man of a portion of the load of +superstitious terror by which he is burdened. This section of the +narrative is terminated by a graphic description of his renewal of +associateship with his old friend Jasper Petulengro, the satisfaction he +gives that worthy for having been the innocent cause of Mrs. Herne's +death, and his decision to pitch his tent in the dingle. Chapters lviii. +to lxxxii. are taken up with the foregoing incidents, which lead up to +the central episode of the autobiography, the settlement in the dingle, +with which the reader is here presented. This episode, forming the +second panel in the detailed scheme, occupies chapters lxxxiii. to cxvi., +but it is bisected near the middle by the termination of _Lavengro_ at +chapter c. The two parts are united now for the first time, and are +given a prominent setting in relief from the rest of the narrative. The +third compartment of the triptych, which occupies chapters cxvii. to +cxlvii. (that is, chapters xvii. to xlvii. of the _Romany Rye_), is +devoted to what we may call the horse-dealing episode. After the loss of +Isopel Berners, the Romany Rye, as the author-hero is now termed, +consoles himself by the purchase of a splendid horse, to obtain which he +consents, much against his will, to accept a loan of 50 pounds from +Jasper Petulengro, the product of that worthy's labours in the prize +ring. He travels across England with the horse, meeting with adventures +by the way, narrating them to others, and obtaining some curious +autobiographical narratives in return. Finally he reaches Horncastle, +and sells the animal at the horse fair there for 150 pounds. Here, in +August 1825, the narrative of his life abruptly ends. {43} + +It must not be supposed by any means that the interest of Borrow's two +autobiographical volumes is concentrated in the last eighteen chapters of +_Lavengro_ and the first sixteen chapters of the _Romany Rye_. The +quality of continuity is, it is true, best preserved in the dingle +episode. Artistically the Brynhildic figure of Isopel serves as the best +relief that could be found for Borrow's own "Titanic self." There is +undoubtedly a feeling of unity here which is hardly to be felt in any +other part of the Borrovian "Odyssey." + +It is nevertheless true that, taken as a whole, a marked characteristic +of the two volumes is the evenness with which the charms are scattered +hither and thither betwixt the four covers. Attractive, therefore, as +the Isopel Berners episode unquestionably is, and convenient as it is to +the reader to have it detached for him in its unity, its perusal must not +be taken for a moment to absolve the lover of good literature from +traversing chapter by chapter, canto by canto, the whole of the Borrevian +epic. It is outside the dingle that he will have to look for the +faithfully described bewilderment of the old applewoman after the loss of +her book, and for the compassionate delineation of the old man with the +bees and the donkey who gave the young Rye to drink of mead at his +cottage, and was unashamed at having shed tears on the road. The most +heroic of the pugilistic encounters takes place, it is true, in the thick +of the dingle, but it is elsewhere that the reader will have to look for +the description of the memorable thrashing inflicted upon the bullying +stage-coachman by the "elderly individual" who followed the craft of +engraving, and learnt fisticuffs from Sergeant Broughton. In the same +neighbourhood he will find the admirable vignette of the old man who +could read the inscription on Chinese crockery pots, but could not tell +what's o'clock, and the life narratives of the jockey and of the inexpert +thimble-rigger, Murtagh, who was imprisoned three years for interrupting +the Pope's game at picquet, but finally won his way by card-sharping to +the very threshold of the Cardinalate. In the second half of the _Romany +Rye_, too, he will find the noble apostrophes to youth, and ale, and +England, "the true country for adventures," which he will compare, as +examples of Borrovian eloquence, with the stirring description of +embattled England in the third chapter of _Lavengro_, or the apostrophe +to the Irish cob and the Author's first ride in chapter thirteen. + +Borrow's is a wonderful book for one to lose one's _way_ in, among the +dense undergrowth, but it is a still grander book for the reader to lose +_himself_ in. In the dingle, best of all, he can "forget his own +troublesome personality as completely as if he were in the depths of the +ancient forest along with Gurth and Wamba." Labyrinthine, however, as +the autobiography may at first sight appear, the true lover of Borrow +will soon have little difficulty in finding the patteran or gypsy trail +(for indeed the Romany element runs persistently as a chorus-thread +through the whole of the autobiographical writings), which serves as a +clue to the delights of which his work is so rich a storehouse. The +question that really exercises Borrovians most is the relative merit of +stories and sections of the narrative--the comparative excellence of the +early 'life' in _Lavengro_ and of the later detached episodes in the +_Romany Rye_. Most are in some sort of agreement as to the supremacy of +the dingle episode, which has this advantage: Borrow is always at his +best when dealing with strange beings and abnormal experiences. When he +is describing ordinary mortals he treats them with coldness as mere +strangers. The commonplace town-dwellers seldom arouse his sympathy, +never kindle his enthusiasm. He is quite another being when we wander by +his side within the bounds of his enchanted dingle. + +This history of certain doings in a Staffordshire dingle, during the +month of July 1825, begins with a battle-royal, which places Borrow high +amongst the narrators of human conflicts from the days of the Iliad to +those of Pierce Egan; yet the chapters that set forth this episode of the +dingle are less concerned with the "gestes" than with the sayings of its +occupants. Rare, indeed, are the dramatic dialogues amid the sylvan +surroundings of the tree-crowned hollow, that surpass in interest even +the vivid details of the memorable fray between the flaming tinman and +the pugilistic philologer. Pre-eminent amongst the dialogues are those +between the male occupant of the dingle and the popish propagandist, +known as the man in black. More fascinating still, perhaps, are the word- +master's conversations with Jasper; most wonderful of all, in the opinion +of many, is his logomachy with Ursula under the thorn bush. We shall not +readily forget Jasper's complaints that all the 'old-fashioned, +good-tempered constables' are going to be set aside, or his gloomy +anticipations of the iron roads in which people are to 'thunder along in +vehicles pushed forward by fire and smoke.' As for his comparison of the +gypsies to cuckoos, the roguish charring fellows, for whom every one has +a bad word, yet whom every one is glad to greet once again when the +spring comes round, or Ursula's exposition of gypsy love and marriage +beneath the hedge,--these are Borrow at his best, as he is most familiar +to us, in the open air among gypsies. With the popish emissary it is +otherwise: his portrait is the creation of Borrow's most studied hatred. +Yet it must be admitted that the man in black is a triumph of complex +characterisation. A joyous liver and an unscrupulous libertine, +sceptical as Voltaire, as atheistic as a German professor, as practical +as a Jew banker, as subtle as a Jesuit, he has as many ways of converting +the folks among whom he is thrown as Panurge had of eating the corn in +ear. For the simple and credulous--crosses and beads; for the +hard-hearted and venal--material considerations; for the cultured and +educated--a fine tissue of epigrams and anthropology; for the +ladies--flattery and badinage. A spiritual ancestor of Anatole France's +marvellous full-length figure of Jerome Coignard, Borrow's conception +takes us back first to Rabelais and secondly to the seventeenth-century +conviction of the profound Machiavellism of Jesuitry. + +The man in black and Jasper are great, but the master attraction of the +region that we are to traverse is admittedly Isopel Berners. It will +perhaps be observed that our heroine makes her appearance on the stage +rather more in the fashion of Molly Seagrim than of that other engaging +Amazon of romance, Diana Vernon, whose "long hair streaming in the wind" +forms one single point of resemblance to our fair Isopel. In other +respects, certainly no two heroines could be more dissimilar. Unaided +even by the slightest assistance from the graphic arts, the difficulty of +picturing the lineaments of this muscular beauty, as she first burst on +the sight of our autobiographer upon the declivity of the dingle, may be +freely confessed, ere an attempt is made to describe her. We know, +however, on the testimony of a sincere admirer, that she was over six +feet high, with loose-flowing, flaxen hair; that she wore a tight bodice +and a skirt of blue, to match the colour of her eyes; and that eighteen +summers had passed over her head since she first saw the light in the +great house of Long Melford, a nursery in which she learnt to fear God +and take her own part, and a place the very name of which she came to +regard as a synonym for a strong right arm. Borrow's first impression of +her was one of immensity; she was big enough, he said, to have been born +in a church; almost simultaneously, he observed her affinity to those +Scandinavian divinities to which he assigned the first place in the +pantheon of his affections. She reminded him, indeed, of the legendary +Ingeborg, queen of Norway. It is remarkable, and well worth noticing, +that the impression that she produced was instantaneous. Our wanderer +had never been impressed in any similar fashion by any of the gypsy women +with whom he was brought into contact, though, as many a legend and +ballad can attest, such women have often exerted extraordinary attraction +over Englishmen of pure blood. But it is evident that his physical +admiration was reserved for a tall blonde of the Scandinavian type, to +which he gave the name of a Brynhilde. Hence, notwithstanding his love +of the economics of gypsy life, his gypsy women are for the most part no +more than scenic characters; they clothe and beautify the scene, but they +have little dramatic force about them. And when he comes to delineate a +heroine, Isopel Berners, she is physically the very opposite of a Romany +chi. + +Fewer words will suffice to describe Isopel's first impressions of her +future partner in the dingle. She unmistakably regarded him as a +chaffing fellow who was not quite right in his head; and there is reason +for believing, that, though she came to entertain a genuine regard for +the young 'squire,' her opinions as to the condition of his brain +underwent no sensible modification. She herself is fairly explicit on +this subject: she seems indeed to have arrived at the deliberate +conviction that, if not abnormally selfish, he was at any rate +fundamentally mad; and there was perhaps a germ of truth in the +conclusion, sufficient at any rate to colour Lombroso's theory of the +inherent madness of men of genius. One of the testimonies that we have +as to Borrow's later life at Oulton is to the effect that he got +bewildered at times and fancied himself Wodin; but the substratum of +sanity is strongly exhibited in the remedy which he himself applied. +"What do you think I do when I get bewildered after this fashion? I go +out to the sty and listen to the grunting of the pigs until I get back to +myself." {49} + +Of Isopel's history we know extremely little, save what she herself tells +us. Her father was an officer who was killed in a naval action before he +could fulfil the promise of marriage he had made to her mother, a small +milliner, who died in the workhouse at Long Melford within three months +of the effort of giving birth to an amazon so large and so fierce and so +well able to take her own part as Isopel. At fourteen this fine specimen +of workhouse upbringing was placed in service, from which she emancipated +herself by knocking down her mistress. After two years more at the +"large house" she was once more apprenticed; and this time knocked down +her master in return for an affront. A second return to the workhouse +appearing inadvisable, she traversed the highways of England in various +capacities, and became acquainted with some of those remarkable though +obscure characters who travelled the roads of our country at that period. +A sense of loneliness drove her among unworthy travelling companions, +such as the flying tinker and grey Moll, in whose society she breaks upon +our notice. Some of the vagrants with whom she came into contact had +occasionally attempted to lay violent hands upon her person and effects, +but had been invariably humbled by her without the aid of either justice +or constable. + +Of her specific exploits as a bruiser we hear of at least two near Dover. +Once, the cart she and her old mistress travelled with was stopped by two +sailors, who would have robbed and stripped the owners. "Let me get +down," she exclaimed simply, and so saying she got down, and fought with +them both until they turned round and ran away. On another occasion, +while combing out her long hair beneath a hedge, she was insulted by a +jockey. Starting up, though her hair was unbound, she promptly gave him +what he characterised as "a most confounded whopping," and "the only +drubbing I ever had in my life; and lor, how with her right hand she +fibbed me while she held me round the neck with her left arm! I was soon +glad to beg her pardon on my knees, which she gave me in a moment when +she saw me in that condition, being the most placable creature in the +world, and not only her pardon but one of the hairs which I longed for, +which I put through a shilling for purposes of pleasant deception at +country fairs." The hair with the shilling attached to it eventually +became a treasured possession of the Romany Rye. + +Rude as some of these characteristics may appear, we are left in no +manner of doubt as to the essential nobility, befitting her name, of Miss +Berners--her character and bearing. Her carriage, especially of the neck +and shoulders, reminded the postilion of the Marchioness of ---; and he +took her unhesitatingly for a young lady of high rank and distinction, +who had temporarily left her friends, and was travelling in the direction +of Gretna Green with the fortunate Rye. The word-master, in disabusing +the postilion of this idea, gave utterance to the conviction that he +might search the world in vain for a nature more heroic and devoted. + +Like a lady of the highest quality, the beauteous queen of the dingle was +subject to the vapours and to occasional fits of inexplicable weeping; +but as a general rule she shared with Borrow himself a proud contempt for +that mad puppy gentility, and her predominant characteristic, like his, +was the simplicity that puzzled by reason of its directness and its +purity. {52} That these qualities were not unaccompanied by a +considerable amount of hauteur, is shown by her uncompromising rejection +of the ceremonial advances made to her by that accomplished courtier, the +man in black. + + "Lovely virgin," said he, with a graceful bow and stretching out his + hand, "allow me to salute your fingers." + + "I am not in the habit of shaking hands with strangers," said Belle. + + "I did not presume to request to shake hands with you," said the man + in black. "I merely wished to be permitted to salute with my lips the + extremities of your two forefingers." + + "I never permit anything of the kind," said Belle. "I do not approve + of such unmanly ways." + +His importunity is rebuked more forcibly upon another occasion, when the +nymph bids the priest with asperity to "hold his mumping gibberish." + +The striking beauty of Belle, especially that of her blue eyes and flaxen +hair, and the impressiveness of her demeanour, calm and proud, which +compelled the similitude to a serious and queenly heroine, such as 'Queen +Theresa of Hungary, or Brynhilda, the Valkyrie, the beloved of Sigurd, +the serpent-killer,' is emphasised by the contrast drawn between her and +the handsome brunette Mrs. Petulengro, who is for the nonce subjugated by +Isopel's beauty, and craves the privilege of acting as her tire-woman. + +Alas, as is so often the case in life, Lavengro and the reader are only +just beginning to realise the beauty and the value of the "bellissima," +as the man in black calls her, when she is on the point of sinking +beneath our horizon, passing away like the brief music of an aubade. + +Rapidly, much too rapidly, do we approach that summer dawn when Belle, +dressed neatly and plainly, her hair no longer plaited in Romany fashion +or floating in the wind, but secured by a comb, uncovered no longer, but +wearing a bonnet, her features very pale, allowed her cold hand to be +wrung--it was for the last time--by the unconscious Rye. The latter +ascended to the plain and thence looked down towards the dingle. "Isopel +Berners stood at the mouth, the beams of the early morning sun shone full +on her noble face and figure. I waved my hands towards her, she slowly +lifted up her right arm; I turned away, and never saw Isopel Berners +again." + +Hardly less forlorn is the reader than the philologist when the latter +arrives back at the dingle, after a visit to the tavern two miles away, +to find that the tardily recognised treasure is lost to him for +ever,--resolved at length, too late, to give over teasing Belle by +pretending to teach her Armenian, determined, when the need is past, to +regularise his "uncertificated" relations with the glorious damozel, and +resigned, when concession is fruitless, to sink those objections to +America which Belle had disavowed, but which he had been proud to share +with disbanded soldiers, sextons, and excisemen. To this decision his +tortuous conferences with Jasper, and his frank soliloquy in the dingle, +had bent him fully forty-eight hours before Belle's ultimate departure, +unwilling though he was to incur the yoke of matrimony. + + "I figured myself in America" (says he, in his reverie over the + charcoal fire), "in an immense forest, clearing the land destined by + my exertions to become a fruitful and smiling plain. Methought I + heard the crash of the huge trees as they fell beneath my axe; and + then I bethought me that a man was intended to marry--I ought to + marry; and if I married, where was I likely to be more happy as a + husband and a father, than in America, engaged in tilling the ground? + I fancied myself in America engaged in tilling the ground, assisted by + an enormous progeny--well, why not marry and go and till the ground in + America? I was young, and youth was the time to marry in and to + labour in; I had the use of all my faculties; my eyes, it is true, + were rather dull from early study, but I could see tolerably well with + them and they were not bleared. I felt my arms and thighs and + teeth--they were strong and sound enough; so now was the time to + labour, to marry, eat strong flesh, and beget strong children--the + power of doing all this would pass away with youth, which was terribly + transitory. I bethought me that a time would come when my eyes would + be bleared and perhaps sightless; my arms and thighs strengthless and + sapless; when my teeth would shake in my jaws, even supposing they did + not drop out. No going a-wooing then, no labouring, no eating strong + flesh and begetting lusty children then; and I bethought me how, when + all this should be, I should bewail the days of my youth as misspent, + provided I had not in them founded for myself a home, and begotten + strong children to take care of me in the days when I could not take + care of myself; and thinking of these things I became sadder and + sadder, and stared vacantly upon the fire until my eyes closed in a + doze." + +It is significant that upon his return from the dream that followed this +reverie, the would-be colonist blew upon the embers and filled and heated +the kettle, that he might be able to welcome Isopel with a cup of the +beverage that she loved. It was the newly awakened Benedick brushing his +hat in the morning; but unhappily his conversion was not so complete as +Benedick's. Love-making and Armenian do not go together, and in the +colloquy that ensued, Belle could not feel assured that the man who +proposed to conjugate the verb "to love" in Armenian, was master of his +intentions in plain English. It was even so. The man of tongues lacked +speech wherewith to make manifest his passion; the vocabulary of the word- +master was insufficient to convince the workhouse girl of one of the +plainest meanings a man can well have. From the banter of the man of +learning the queen of the dingle sought refuge in a precipitate flight. +Almost simultaneously the word-master, albeit with reluctance, decided +that it was high time to give over his "mocking and scoffing." When he +returned with this resolve to the dingle, Isopel Berners had quitted it, +never to return. + +Yet ever and anon that splendid and pathetic figure will cross the sky +line of his mental vision--and of ours. "Then the image of Isopel +Berners came into my mind," and the thought "how I had lost her for ever, +and how happy I might have been with her in the New World." + + + + +DWELLERS IN THE DINGLE, +AND SOME OTHERS. + + +MEN. + + +LAVENGRO, _the autobiographer_, _scholar and philologist_ (Lavengro=_word- +master_); _known among the road-faring folk as the Romany rye_, _or young +squire turned gypsy_. + +JASPER PETULENGRO, _a Romany kral or tribal chief_, _horse-dealer and +blacksmith_ (petulengro=_lord of the horseshoe_). "_The Gypsy_." + +FRASER, _a popish emissary or propagandist_, _known as the_ "_man in +black_." "_The Priest_." + +TAWNO CHIKNO, _the little one_, _so called on account of his immense +size_; _the_ "_Antinous of the dusky people_;" _a great horseman and_ +JASPER'S _brother-in-law_. + +SYLVESTER, _another brother-in-law_, _an ill-conditioned fellow_, "_the +Lazarus of the Romany tribe_." + +BLACK _or_ BLAZING JOHN BOSVILLE (_Anselo Herne_), "_the flaming tinman_" +_a_ "_half-in-half_" _itinerant tinker and bruiser_. + +CATCHPOLE, _the landlord of a small inn_, _two miles from the Dingle_, +_and not far from Willenhall in Staffordshire_. + +MR. HUNTER, _a radical_, _who wears a snuff-coloured coat and frequents +the inn above named_. + +_A postilion_, _whose headquarters are The Swan_, _Stafford_. + + + +WOMEN. + + +ISOPEL _or_ BELLE BERNERS, _the beauteous queen of the Dingle_. + +GREY MOLL, _wife of_ BOSVILLE, _the flying tinker_. + +_A niece of the landlord of the inn_. + +_The three daughters of Mrs. Herne_:-- + +PAKOMOVNA, (MRS.) PETULENGRO, + +MIKAILIA, (MRS.) CHIKNO. + +URSULA, _widow of_ LAUNCELOT LOVELL, _who subsequently marries_ +SYLVESTER. + + + +ANIMALS. + + +AMBROL (_in gypsy_=_a pear_), LAVENGRO'S _little gry or pony_. + +TRAVELLER, _a donkey_ (_gypsy_, _mailla_), _belonging to_ ISOPEL BERNERS. + +THE SCENE _is laid under the greenwood tree_, _in the height of an +English summer_. + +THE DINGLE _is a deep_, _wooded_, _and consequently somewhat gloomy_, +_hollow in the middle of a very large_, _desolate field_. _The shelving +sides of the hollow are overgrown with trees and bushes. A belt of +sallows crowns the circular edge of the small crater_. _At the lowest +part of the Dingle are discovered a stone and a fire of charcoal_, _from +which spot a winding path ascends to_ "_the plain_." _On either side of +the fire is a small encampment. One consists of a small pony cart and a +small hut-shaped tent_, _occupied by the word-master_. _On the other +side is erected a kind of tent_, _consisting of large hoops covered over +with tarpaulin_, _quite impenetrable to rain; hard by stands a small +donkey-cart_. _This is_ "_the tabernacle_" _of_ ISOPEL BERNERS. _A +short distance off_, _near a spring of clear water_, _is the encampment +of the Romany chals and chies--the Petulengres and their small clan_. + +THE PLACE _is about five miles from Willenhall in Staffordshire_. + +THE TIME _is July_ 1825. + + + + +CHAPTER I--THE SCHOLAR SAYS GOOD-BYE TO THE GYPSY, AND PITCHES HIS TENT +IN THE DINGLE. + + +[In May 1825 our autobiographer, known among the gypsies as the +word-master, decided to leave London, and travelled, partly on foot and +partly by coach, to Amesbury; and then, after two days at Salisbury, +struck northwards. A few days later, in a small beer-house, he met a +tinker and his wife; the tinker was greatly depressed, having recently +been intimidated by a rival, one Bosville, "the flaming tinman," and +forced by threats to quit the road. The word-master, who meditated +passing the summer as an amateur vagrant, and had some 15 or 16 pounds in +his pocket, conceived the idea of buying the pony-cart, the implements +and the beat of the tinker, one Jack Slingsby, whose face he remembered +having seen some ten years before. "I want a home and work," he said to +the tinker. "As for a home, I suppose I can contrive to make a home out +of your tent and cart; and as for work, I must learn to be a tinker; it +would not be hard for one of my trade to be a tinker: what better can I +do?" "What about the naming tinman?" said the tinker. "Oh, don't be +afraid on my account," said the word-master: "if I were to meet him, I +could easily manage him one way or the other: I know all kinds of strange +words and names, and, as I told you before, I sometimes hit people when +they put me out." + +He accordingly purchases Slingsby's property, and further invests in a +waggoner's frock. To the pony he gives the name of Ambrol, which +signifies in gypsy a pear. He spends a first night under the hedge in a +drizzling rain, and then spends two or three days in endeavouring to +teach himself the mysteries of his new trade. While living in this +solitary way he is detected by Mrs. Herne, an old gypsy woman, "one of +the hairy ones," as she terms herself, who carried "a good deal of +devil's tinder" about with her, and had a bitter grudge against the word- +master. She hated him for having wormed himself, as she fancied, into +the confidence of the gypsies and learned their language. She regarded +him further, as the cause of differences between herself and her sons-in- +law--as an apple of discord in the Romany camp. She employed her +grandchild, Leonora, to open relations in a friendly way with Lavengro, +and then to persuade him to eat of a "drabbed" of poisoned cake. Lavengro +was grievously sick, but was saved in the nick of time by the appearance +upon the scene of a Welsh preacher, Peter Williams, and his wife--two +good souls who wandered over all Wales and the greater part of England, +comforting the hearts of the people with their doctrine, and doing all +the good they could. They never slept beneath a roof, unless the weather +was very severe. The preacher had a heavy burden upon his mind, to wit, +"the sin against the Holy Ghost," committed when he was but a lad. +Lavengro journeys for several days with the preacher and his wife, +assuring the former that in common with most other boys he himself, when +of tender years, had committed twenty such sins and felt no uneasiness +about them. The young man's conversation had the effect of greatly +lightening the despair of the old preacher. The latter begged the word- +master to accompany him into Wales. On the border, however, Lavengro +encountered a gypsy pal of his youthful days, Jasper Petulengro, and +turned back with him. Mr. Petulengro informs him of the end of his old +enemy, Mrs. Herne. Baffled in her designs against the stranger, the old +woman had hanged herself. + +"You observe, brother," said Petulengro, springing from his horse, "there +is a point at present between us. There can be no doubt that you are the +cause of Mrs. Herne's death--innocently, you will say, but still the +cause. Now I shouldn't like it to be known that I went up and down the +country with a pal who was the cause of my mother-in-law's death: that is +to say, unless he gave me satisfaction." So they fell to with their +naked fists on a broad strip of grass in the shade under some lofty +trees. In half an hour's time Lavengro's face was covered with blood, +whereupon Mr. Petulengro exclaimed, "Put your hands down, brother: I'm +satisfied; blood has been shed, which is all that can be expected for an +old woman who carried so much brimstone about with her as Mrs. Herne."] + +So we resumed our route, Mr. Petulengro sitting sideways on his horse, +and I driving my little pony-cart; and when we had proceeded about three +miles, we came to a small public-house, which bore the sign of the +"Silent Woman," where we stopped to refresh our cattle and ourselves; and +as we sat over our bread and ale, it came to pass that Mr. Petulengro +asked me various questions, and amongst others, how I intended to dispose +of myself. I told him that I did not know; whereupon, with considerable +frankness, he invited me to his camp, and told me that if I chose to +settle down amongst them, and become a Rommany chal, {61} I should have +his wife's sister, Ursula, who was still unmarried, and occasionally +talked of me. + +I declined his offer, assigning as a reason the recent death of Mrs. +Herne, of which I was the cause, although innocent. "A pretty life I +should lead with those two," said I, "when they came to know it." "Pooh," +said Mr. Petulengro, "they will never know it. I shan't blab, and as for +Leonora, that girl has a head on her shoulder's." "Unlike the woman in +the sign," said I, "whose head is cut off. You speak nonsense, Mr. +Petulengro: as long as a woman has a head on her shoulders she'll +talk,--but, leaving women out of the case, it is impossible to keep +anything a secret; an old master of mine told me so long ago. I have +moreover another reason for declining your offer. I am at present not +disposed for society. I am become fond of solitude. I wish I could find +some quiet place to which I could retire to hold communion with my own +thoughts, and practise, if I thought fit, either of my trades." "What +trades?" said Mr. Petulengro. "Why, the one which I have lately been +engaged in, or my original one, which I confess I should like better, +that of a kaulomescro." {62} "Ah, I have frequently heard you talk of +making horseshoes," said Mr. Petulengro. "I, however, never saw you make +one, and no one else that I am aware, I don't believe. Come, brother, +don't be angry,--it's quite possible that you may have done things which +neither I nor any one else has seen you do, and that such things may some +day or other come to light, as you say nothing can be kept secret. Be +that, however, as it may, pay the reckoning, and let us be going. I +think I can advise you to just such a kind of place as you seem to want." + +"And how do you know that I have got wherewithal to pay the reckoning?" I +demanded. "Brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "I was just now looking in +your face, which exhibited the very look of a person conscious of the +possession of property; there was nothing hungry or sneaking in it. Pay +the reckoning, brother." + +And when we were once more upon the road Mr. Petulengro began to talk of +the place which he conceived would serve me as a retreat under present +circumstances. "I tell you frankly, brother, that it is a queer kind of +place, and I am not very fond of pitching my tent in it, it is so +surprisingly dreary. It is a deep dingle in the midst of a large field, +on an estate about which there has been a lawsuit for some years past. I +daresay you will be quiet enough, for the nearest town is five miles +distant, and there are only a few huts and hedge public-houses in the +neighbourhood. Brother, I am fond of solitude myself, but not that kind +of solitude: I like a quiet heath, where I can pitch my house, but I +always like to have a gay stirring place not far off, where the women can +pen dukkerin, {63a} and I myself can sell or buy a horse, if needful--such +a place as the Chong Gav. {63b} I never feel so merry as when there, +brother, or on the heath above it, where I taught you Rommany." + +Shortly after this discourse we reached a milestone, and a few yards from +the milestone, on the left hand, was a cross-road. Thereupon Mr. +Petulengro said, "Brother, my path lies to the left; if you choose to go +with me to my camp, good; if not, Chal Devlehi." {63c} But I again +refused Mr. Petulengro's invitation, and, shaking him by the hand, +proceeded forward alone, and about ten miles farther on I reached the +town of which he had spoken, and following certain directions which he +had given, discovered, though not without some difficulty, the dingle +which he had mentioned. It was a deep hollow in the midst of a wide +field, the shelving sides were overgrown with trees and bushes, a belt of +sallows surrounded it on the top, a steep winding path led down into the +depths, practicable, however, for a light cart, like mine; at the bottom +was an open space, and there I pitched my tent, and there I contrived to +put up my forge, "I will here ply the trade of kaulomescro," {64} said I. + + + + +CHAPTER II--THE SHOEING OF AMBROL. + + +It has always struck me that there is something highly poetical about a +forge. I am not singular in this opinion: various individuals have +assured me that they never pass by one, even in the midst of a crowded +town, without experiencing sensations which they can scarcely define, but +which are highly pleasurable. I have a decided penchant for forges, +especially rural ones placed in some quaint quiet spot--a dingle, for +example, which is a poetical place, or at a meeting of four roads, which +is still more so; for how many a superstition--and superstition is the +soul of poetry--is connected with these cross roads! I love to light +upon such a one, especially after nightfall, as everything about a forge +tells to most advantage at night; the hammer sounds more solemnly in the +stillness, the glowing particles scattered by the stroke sparkle with +more effect in the darkness, whilst the sooty visage of the sastramescro, +{65a} half in shadow, and half illumined by the red and partial blaze of +the forge, looks more mysterious and strange. On such occasions I draw +in my horse's rein, and, seated in the saddle, endeavour to associate +with the picture before me--in itself a picture of romance--whatever of +the wild and wonderful I have read of in books, or have seen with mine +own eyes in connection with forges. + +I believe the life of any blacksmith, especially a rural one, would +afford materials for a highly poetical history. I do not speak +unadvisedly, having the honour to be free of the forge, and therefore +fully competent to give an opinion as to what might be made out of the +forge by some dextrous hand. Certainly, the strangest and most +entertaining life ever written is that of a blacksmith of the olden +north, a certain Volundr, or Velint, {65b} who lived in woods and +thickets, made keen swords,--so keen, indeed, that if placed by a running +stream, they would fairly divide an object, however slight, which was +borne against them by the water--and who eventually married a king's +daughter, by whom he had a son, who was as bold a knight as his father +was a cunning blacksmith. I never see a forge at night, when seated on +the back of my horse at the bottom of a dark lane, but I somehow or other +associate it with the exploits of this extraordinary fellow, with many +other extraordinary things, amongst which, as I have hinted before, are +particular passages of my own life, one or two of which I shall perhaps +relate to the reader. + +I never associate Vulcan and his Cyclops with the idea of a forge. These +gentry would be the very last people in the world to flit across my mind +whilst gazing at the forge from the bottom of the dark lane. The truth +is, they are highly unpoetical fellows, as well they may be, connected as +they are with Grecian mythology. At the very mention of their names the +forge burns dull and dim, as if snowballs had been suddenly flung into +it; the only remedy is to ply the bellows, an operation which I now +hasten to perform. + +I am in the dingle making a horseshoe. Having no other horses on whose +hoofs I could exercise my art, I made my first essay on those of my own +horse, if that could be called horse which horse was none, being only a +pony. Perhaps if I had sought all England I should scarcely have found +an animal more in need of the kind offices of the smith. On three of his +feet there were no shoes at all, and on the fourth only a remnant of one, +on which account his hoofs were sadly broken and lacerated by his late +journeys over the hard and flinty roads. "You belonged to a tinker +before," said I, addressing the animal, "but now you belong to a smith. +It is said that the household of the shoemaker invariably go worse shod +than that of any other craft. That may be the case of those who make +shoes of leather, but it shan't be said of the household of him who makes +shoes of iron; at any rate, it shan't be said of mine. I tell you what, +my gry, {67a} whilst you continue with me, you shall both be better shod, +and better fed, than you were with your late master." + +I am in the dingle making a petul; {67b} and I must here observe, that +whilst I am making a horseshoe, the reader need not be surprised if I +speak occasionally in the language of the lord of the horseshoe--Mr. +Petulengro. I have for some time past been plying the peshota, or +bellows, endeavouring to raise up the yag, or fire, in my primitive +forge. The angar, or coals, are now burning fiercely, casting forth +sparks and long vagescoe chipes, or tongues of flame; a small bar of +sastra, or iron, is lying in the fire, to the length of ten or twelve +inches, and so far it is hot, very hot, exceeding hot, brother. And now +you see me prala, snatch the bar of iron, and place the heated end of it +upon the covantza, or anvil, and forthwith I commence cooring {67c} the +sastra as hard as if I had been just engaged by a master at the rate of +dui caulor, or two shillings a day, brother; and when I have beaten the +iron till it is nearly cool, and my arm tired, I place it again in the +angar, and begin again to rouse the fire with the pudomengro, which +signifies the blowing thing, and is another and more common word for +bellows, and whilst thus employed I sing a gypsy song, the sound of which +is wonderfully in unison with the hoarse moaning of the pudamengro, and +ere the song is finished, the iron is again hot and malleable. Behold, I +place it once more on the covantza, and recommence hammering; and now I +am somewhat at fault: I am in want of assistance; I want you, brother, or +some one else, to take the bar out of my hand and support it upon the +covantza, whilst I, applying a chinomescro, or kind of chisel, to the +heated iron, cut off with a lusty stroke or two of the shukaro baro, or +big hammer, as much as is required for the petul. But having no one to +help me, I go on hammering till I have fairly knocked off as much as I +want, and then I place the piece in the fire, and again apply the +bellows, and take up the song where I left it off; and when I have +finished the song, I take out the iron, but this time with my plaistra, +or pincers, and then I recommence hammering, turning the iron round and +round with my pincers: and now I bend the iron, and lo, and behold, it +has assumed something the outline of a petul. + +I am not going to enter into farther details with respect to the +process--it was rather a wearisome one. I had to contend with various +disadvantages: my forge was a rude one, my tools might have been better; +I was in want of one or two highly necessary implements, but, above all, +manual dexterity. Though free of the forge, I had not practised the +albeytarian art for very many years, never since--but stay, it is not my +intention to tell the reader, at least in this place, how and when I +became a blacksmith. There was one thing, however, which stood me in +good stead in my labour, the same thing which through life has ever been +of incalculable utility to me, and has not unfrequently supplied the +place of friends, money, and many other things of almost equal +importance--iron perseverance, without which all the advantages of time +and circumstances are of very little avail in any undertaking. I was +determined to make a horseshoe, and a good one, in spite of every +obstacle--ay, in spite o' dukkerin. At the end of four days, during +which I had fashioned and re-fashioned the thing at least fifty times, I +had made a petul such as no master of the craft need have been ashamed +of; with the second shoe I had less difficulty, and, by the time I had +made the fourth, I would have scorned to take off my hat to the best +smith in Cheshire. + +But I had not yet shod my little gry; {69a} this I proceeded now to do. +After having first well pared the hoofs with my churi, {69b} I applied +each petul hot, glowing hot to the pindro. {69c} Oh, how the hoofs +hissed; and, oh, the pleasant pungent odour which diffused itself through +the dingle, an odour good for an ailing spirit! + +I shoed the little horse bravely--merely pricked him once, slightly with +a cafi, {69d} for doing which, I remember, he kicked me down; I was not +disconcerted, however, but, getting up, promised to be more cautious in +future; and having finished the operation, I filed the hoof well with the +rin baro; {69e} then dismissed him to graze amongst the trees, and, +putting my smaller tools into the muchtar, {69f} I sat down on my stone, +and, supporting my arm upon my knee, leaned my head upon my hand. +Heaviness had come over me. + + + + +CHAPTER III--THE DARK HOUR COMES UPON LAVENGRO AND HIS SOUL IS HEAVY +WITHIN HIM. + + +Heaviness had suddenly come over me, heaviness of heart, and of body +also. I had accomplished the task which I had imposed upon myself, and +now that nothing more remained to do, my energies suddenly deserted me, +and I felt without strength and without hope. Several causes, perhaps, +co-operated to bring about the state in which I then felt myself. It is +not improbable that my energies had been overstrained during the work, +the progress of which I have attempted to describe; and everyone is aware +that the results of overstrained energies are feebleness and +lassitude--want of nourishment might likewise have something to do with +it. During my sojourn in the dingle, my food had been of the simplest +and most unsatisfying description, by no means calculated to support the +exertion which the labour I had been engaged upon required; it had +consisted of coarse oaten cakes and hard cheese, and for beverage I had +been indebted to a neighbouring pit, in which, in the heat of the day, I +frequently saw, not golden or silver fish, but frogs and eftes swimming +about. I am, however, inclined to believe that Mrs. Herne's cake had +quite as much to do with the matter as insufficient nourishment. I had +never entirely recovered from the effects of its poison, but had +occasionally, especially at night, been visited by a grinding pain in the +stomach, and my whole body had been suffused with cold sweat; and indeed +these memorials of the drow {71} have never entirely disappeared--even at +the present time they display themselves in my system, especially after +much fatigue of body and excitement of mind. So there I sat in the +dingle upon my stone, nerveless and hopeless, by whatever cause or causes +that state had been produced--there I sat with my head leaning upon my +hand, and so I continued a long, long time. At last I lifted my head +from my hand, and began to cast anxious, unquiet looks about the +dingle--the entire hollow was now enveloped in deep shade--I cast my eyes +up; there was a golden gleam on the tops of the trees which grew towards +the upper parts of the dingle; but lower down, all was gloom and +twilight--yet, when I first sat down on my stone, the sun was right above +the dingle, illuminating all its depths by the rays which it cast +perpendicularly down--so I must have sat a long, long time upon my stone. +And now, once more, I rested my head upon my hand, but almost instantly +lifted it again in a kind of fear, and began looking at the objects +before me--the forge, the tools, the branches of the trees, endeavouring +to follow their rows, till they were lost in the darkness of the dingle. +And now I found my right hand grasping convulsively three forefingers of +the left, first collectively, and then successively, wringing them till +the joints cracked; then I became quiet, but not for long. + +Suddenly I started up, and could scarcely repress the shriek which was +rising to my lips. Was it possible? Yes, all too certain: the evil one +was upon me; the inscrutable horror which I had felt in my boyhood had +once more taken possession of me. I had thought that it had forsaken me; +that it would never visit me again; that I had outgrown it; that I might +almost bid defiance to it; and I had even begun to think of it without +horror, as we are in the habit of doing of horrors of which we conceive +we run no danger; and lo! when least thought of, it had seized me again. +Every moment I felt it gathering force, and making me more wholly its +own. What should I do?--resist, of course; and I did resist. I grasped, +I tore, and strove to fling it from me; but of what avail were my +efforts? I could only have got rid of it by getting rid of myself: it +was a part of myself, or rather it was all myself. I rushed amongst the +trees, and struck at them with my bare fists, and dashed my head against +them, but I felt no pain. How could I feel pain with that horror upon +me! and then I flung myself on the ground, gnawed the earth, and +swallowed it; and then I looked round: it was almost total darkness in +the dingle, and the darkness added to my horror. I could no longer stay +there; up I rose from the ground, and attempted to escape; at the bottom +of the winding path which led up the acclivity I fell over something +which was lying on the ground; the something moved, and gave a kind of +whine. It was my little horse, which had made that place its lair--my +little horse, my only companion and friend, in that now awful solitude. I +reached the mouth of the dingle; the sun was just sinking in the far +west, behind me; the fields were flooded with his last gleams. How +beautiful everything looked in the last gleams of the sun! I felt +relieved for a moment; I was no longer in the horrid dingle; in another +minute the sun was gone, and a big cloud occupied the place where he had +been; in a little time it was almost as dark as it had previously been in +the open part of the dingle. My horror increased; what was I to do!--it +was of no use fighting against the horror--that I saw; the more I fought +against it, the stronger it became. What should I do? say my prayers? +Ah! why not? So I knelt down under the hedge, and said, "Our Father"; +but that was of no use; and now I could no longer repress cries; the +horror was too great to be borne. What should I do: run to the nearest +town or village, and request the assistance of my fellow-men? No! that I +was ashamed to do; notwithstanding the horror was upon me, I was ashamed +to do that. I knew they would consider me a maniac if I went screaming +amongst them; and I did not wish to be considered a maniac. Moreover, I +knew that I was not a maniac for I possessed all my reasoning powers, +only the horror was upon me--the screaming horror! But how were +indifferent people to distinguish between madness and this screaming +horror? So I thought and reasoned; and at last I determined not to go +amongst my fellow-men, whatever the result might be. I went to the mouth +of the dingle, and there, placing myself on my knees, I again said the +Lord's Prayer; but it was of no use; praying seemed to have no effect +over the horror; the unutterable fear appeared rather to increase than +diminish; and I again uttered wild cries, so loud that I was apprehensive +they would be heard by some chance passenger on the neighbouring road; I, +therefore, went deeper into the dingle; I sat down with my back against a +thorn bush; the thorns entered my flesh; and when I felt them, I pressed +harder against the bush; I thought the pain of the flesh might in some +degree counteract the mental agony; presently I felt them no longer; the +power of the mental horror was so great that it was impossible, with that +upon me, to feel any pain from the thorns. I continued in this posture a +long time, undergoing what I cannot describe, and would not attempt if I +were able. Several times I was on the point of starting up and rushing +anywhere; but I restrained myself, for I knew I could not escape from +myself, so why should I not remain in the dingle? So I thought and said +to myself, for my reasoning powers were still uninjured. At last it +appeared to me that the horror was not so strong, not quite so strong +upon me. Was it possible that it was relaxing its grasp, releasing its +prey? O what a mercy! but it could not be--and yet I looked up to +heaven, and clasped my hands, and said, "Our Father." I said no more; I +was too agitated; and now I was almost sure that the horror had done its +worst. + +After a little time I arose, and staggered down yet farther into the +dingle. I again found my little horse on the same spot as before. I put +my hand to his mouth; he licked my hand. I flung myself down by him and +put my arms round his neck; the creature whinnied, and appeared to +sympathize with me; what a comfort to have any one, even a dumb brute, to +sympathize with me at such a moment! I clung to my little horse, as if +for safety and protection. I laid my head on his neck, and felt almost +calm; presently the fear returned, but not so wild as before; it +subsided, came again, again subsided; then drowsiness came over me, and +at last I fell asleep, my head supported on the neck of the little horse. +I awoke; it was dark, dark night--not a star was to be seen--but I felt +no fear, the horror had left me. I arose from the side of the little +horse, and went into my tent, lay down, and again went to sleep. + +I awoke in the morning weak and sore, and shuddering at the remembrance +of what I had gone through on the preceding day. The sun was shining +brightly, but it had not yet risen high enough to show its head above the +trees which fenced the eastern side of the dingle, on which account the +dingle was wet and dank, from the dews of the night. I kindled my fire, +and, after sitting by it for some time to warm my frame, I took some of +the coarse food which I have already mentioned; notwithstanding my late +struggle, and the coarseness of the fare, I ate with appetite. My +provisions had by this time been very much diminished, and I saw that it +would be speedily necessary, in the event of my continuing to reside in +the dingle, to lay in a fresh store. After my meal I went to the pit, +and filled a can with water, which I brought to the dingle, and then +again sat down on my stone. I considered what I should next do: it was +necessary to do something, or my life in this solitude would be +unsupportable. What should I do? rouse up my forge and fashion a +horseshoe; but I wanted nerve and heart for such an employment; moreover, +I had no motive for fatiguing myself in this manner; my own horse was +shod, no other was at hand, and it is hard to work for the sake of +working. What should I do? read? Yes, but I had no other book than the +Bible which the Welsh Methodist had given me: well, why not read the +Bible? I was once fond of reading the Bible; ay, but those days were +long gone by. However, I did not see what else I could do on the present +occasion--so I determined to read the Bible--it was in Welsh; at any rate +it might amuse me, so I took the Bible out of the sack, in which it was +lying in the cart, and began to read at the place where I chanced to open +it. I opened it at the part where the history of Saul commences. At +first I read with indifference, but after some time my attention was +riveted. And no wonder: I had come to the visitations of Saul, those +dark moments of his, when he did and said such unaccountable things; it +almost appeared to me that I was reading of myself; I, too, had my +visitations, dark as ever his were. O, how I sympathized with Saul, the +tall dark man! I had read his life before, but it had made no impression +on me; it had never occurred to me that I was like him, but I now +sympathized with Saul, for my own dark hour was but recently passed, and, +perhaps, would soon return again; the dark hour came frequently on Saul. + +Time wore away; I finished the book of Saul, and, closing the volume, +returned it to its place. I then returned to my seat on the stone, and +thought of what I had read, and what I had lately undergone. All at once +I thought I felt well-known sensations--a cramping of the breast, and a +tingling of the soles of the feet--they were what I had felt on the +preceding day; they were the forerunners of the fear. I sat motionless +on my stone; the sensations passed away, and the fear came not. Darkness +was now coming again over the earth; the dingle was again in deep shade. +I roused the fire with the breath of the bellows, and sat looking at the +cheerful glow; it was cheering and comforting. My little horse came now +and lay down on the ground beside the forge; I was not quite deserted. I +again ate some of the coarse food, and drank plentifully of the water +which I had fetched in the morning. I then put fresh fuel on the fire, +and sat for a long time looking on the blaze; I then went into my tent. + +I awoke, on my own calculation, about midnight--it was pitch dark, and +there was much fear upon me. + + + + +CHAPTER IV.--A CLASSICAL ENCOUNTER--LONG MELFORD TO THE RESCUE. + + +Two mornings after the period to which I have brought the reader in the +preceding chapter, I sat by my fire at the bottom of the dingle. I had +just breakfasted, and had finished the last morsel of food which I had +brought with me to that solitude. + +"What shall I now do?" said I to myself: "shall I continue here, or +decamp? This is a sad lonely spot--perhaps I had better quit it; but +whither should I go? the wide world is before me, but what can I do +therein? I have been in the world already without much success. No, I +had better remain here; the place is lonely, it is true, but here I am +free and independent, and can do what I please; but I can't remain here +without food. Well, I will find my way to the nearest town, lay in a +fresh supply of provision, and come back, turning my back upon the world, +which has turned its back upon me. I don't see why I should not write a +little sometimes; I have pens and an ink-horn, and for a writing-desk I +can place the Bible on my knee. I shouldn't wonder if I could write a +capital satire on the world on the back of that Bible; but first of all I +must think of supplying myself with food." + +I rose up from the stone on which I was seated, determining to go to the +nearest town, with my little horse and cart and procure what I wanted. +The nearest town, according to my best calculation, lay about five miles +distant; I had no doubt, however, that by using ordinary diligence, I +should be back before evening. In order to go lighter, I determined to +leave my tent standing as it was, and all the things which I had +purchased of the tinker, just as they were. "I need not be apprehensive +on their account," said I to myself; "nobody will come here to meddle +with them--the great recommendation of this place is its perfect +solitude--I dare say that I could live here six months without seeing a +single human visage. I will now harness my little gry and be off to the +town." + +At a whistle which I gave, the little gry, which was feeding on the bank +near the uppermost part of the dingle, came running to me, for by this +time he had become so accustomed to me that he would obey my call for all +the world as if he had been one of the canine species. "Now," said I to +him, "we are going to the town to buy bread for myself, and oats for +you--I am in a hurry to be back; therefore, I pray you to do your best, +and to draw me and the cart to the town with all possible speed, and to +bring us back; if you do your best, I promise you oats on your return. +You know the meaning of oats, Ambrol?" + +Ambrol whinnied as if to let me know that he understood me perfectly +well, as indeed he well might, as I had never once fed him during the +time he had been in my possession without saying the word in question to +him. Now, Ambrol, in the Gypsy tongue, signifieth a pear. + +So I caparisoned Ambrol, and then, going to the cart, removed two or +three things from out it into the tent; I then lifted up the shafts, and +was just going to call to the pony to come and be fastened to them, when +I thought I heard a noise. + +I stood stock still, supporting the shaft of the little cart in my hand, +and bending the right side of my face slightly towards the ground; but I +could hear nothing. The noise which I thought I had heard was not one of +those sounds which I was accustomed to hear in that solitude--the note of +a bird, or the rustling of a bough; it was--there I heard it again--a +sound very much resembling the grating of a wheel amongst gravel. Could +it proceed from the road? Oh no, the road was too far distant for me to +hear the noise of anything moving along it. Again I listened, and now I +distinctly heard the sound of wheels, which seemed to be approaching the +dingle; nearer and nearer they drew, and presently the sound of wheels +was blended with the murmur of voices. Anon I heard a boisterous shout, +which seemed to proceed from the entrance of the dingle. "Here are folks +at hand," said I, letting the shaft of the cart fall to the ground: "is +it possible that they can be coming here?" + +My doubts on that point, if I entertained any, were soon dispelled: the +wheels, which had ceased moving for a moment or two, were once again in +motion, and were now evidently moving down the winding path which led to +my retreat. Leaving my cart, I came forward and placed myself near the +entrance of the open space, with my eyes fixed on the path down which my +unexpected and I may say unwelcome visitors were coming. Presently I +heard a stamping or sliding, as if of a horse in some difficulty; and +then a loud curse, and the next moment appeared a man and a horse and +cart; the former holding the head of the horse up to prevent him from +falling, of which he was in danger, owing to the precipitous nature of +the path. Whilst thus occupied, the head of the man was averted from me. +When, however, he had reached the bottom of the descent, he turned his +head, and perceiving me, as I stood bareheaded, without either coat or +waistcoat, about two yards from him, he gave a sudden start, so violent +that the backward motion of his hand had nearly flung the horse upon his +haunches. + +"Why don't you move forward?" said a voice from behind, apparently that +of a female; "you are stopping up the way, and we shall be all down upon +one another;" and I saw the head of another horse overtopping the back of +the cart. + +"Why don't you move forward, Jack?" said another voice, also of a female, +yet higher up the path. + +The man stirred not, but remained staring at me in the posture which he +had assumed on first perceiving me, his body very much drawn back, his +left foot far in advance of his right, and with his right hand still +grasping the halter of the horse, which gave way more and more, till it +was clean down on its haunches. + +"What's the matter?" said the voice which I had last heard. + +"Get back with you, Belle, Moll," said the man, still staring at me: +"here's something not over-canny or comfortable here." + +"What is it?" said the same voice; "let me pass, Moll, and I'll soon +clear the way," and I heard a kind of rushing down the path. + +"You need not be afraid," said I, addressing myself to the man,--"I mean +you no harm; I am a wanderer like yourself---come here to seek for +shelter--you need not be afraid; I am a Rome chabo {82} by +matriculation--one of the right sort, and no mistake. Good day to ye, +brother; I bids ye welcome." + +The man eyed me suspiciously for a moment--then, turning to his horse +with a loud curse, he pulled him up from his haunches, and led him and +the cart farther down to one side of the dingle, muttering as he passed +me, "Afraid? Hm!" + +I do not remember ever to have seen a more ruffianly-looking fellow: he +was about six feet high, with an immensely athletic frame; his face was +black and bluff, and sported an immense pair of whiskers, but with here +and there a grey hair, for his age could not be much under fifty. He +wore a faded blue frock coat, corduroys, and highlows--on his black head +was a kind of red nightcap, round his bull neck a Barcelona +handkerchief--I did not like the look of the man at all. + +"Afraid," growled the fellow, proceeding to unharness his horse; "that +was the word, I think." + +But other figures were now already upon the scene. Dashing past the +other horse and cart, which by this time had reached the bottom of the +pass, appeared an exceedingly tall woman, or rather girl, for she could +scarcely have been above eighteen; she was dressed in a tight bodice, and +a blue stuff gown; hat, bonnet or cap she had none, and her hair, which +was flaxen, hung down on her shoulders unconfined; her complexion was +fair, and her features handsome, with a determined but open expression. +She was followed by another female, about forty, stout and +vulgar-looking, at whom I scarcely glanced, my whole attention being +absorbed by the tall girl. + +"What's the matter, Jack?" said the latter, looking at the man. + +"Only afraid, that's all," said the man, still proceeding with his work. + +"Afraid at what?--at that lad? Why, he looks like a ghost--I would +engage to thrash him with one hand." + +"You might beat me with no hands at all," said I, "fair damsel, only by +looking at me: I never saw such a face and figure, both regal--why, you +look like Ingeborg, Queen of Norway; she had twelve brothers, you know, +and could lick them all, though they were heroes-- + + "'On Dovrefeld in Norway, + Were once together seen, + The twelve heroic brothers + Of Ingeborg the queen.'" + +"None of your chaffing, young fellow," said the tall girl, "or I will +give you what shall make you wipe your face; be civil, or you will rue +it." + +"Well, perhaps I was a peg too high," said I: "I ask your pardon--here's +something a bit lower-- + + "'As I was jawing to the gav yeck divvus {84a} + I met on the drom miro Rommany chi--'" {84b} + +"None of your Rommany chies, young fellow," said the tall girl, looking +more menacingly than before, and clenching her fist; "you had better be +civil. I am none of your chies; and, though I keep company with gypsies +or, to speak more proper, half and halfs, I would have you to know that I +come of Christian blood and parents, and was born in the great house of +Long Melford." + +"I have no doubt," said I, "that it was a great house; judging from your +size, I shouldn't wonder if you were born in a church." + +"Stay, Belle," said the man, putting himself before the young virago, who +was about to rush upon me, "my turn is first." Then, advancing to me in +a menacing attitude, he said with a look of deep malignity, "'Afraid' was +the word, wasn't it?" + +"It was," said I, "but I think I wronged you; I should have said, +aghast--you exhibited every symptom of one labouring under uncontrollable +fear." + +The fellow stared at me with a look of stupid ferocity, and appeared to +be hesitating whether to strike or not: ere he could make up his mind, +the tall girl stepped forward, crying, "He's chaffing; let me at him!" +and, before I could put myself on my guard, she struck me a blow on the +face which had nearly brought me to the ground. + +"Enough," said I, putting my hand to my cheek; "you have now performed +your promise, and made me wipe my face: now be pacified, and tell me +fairly the ground of this quarrel." + +"Grounds!" said the fellow; "didn't you say I was afraid? and if you +hadn't, who gave you leave to camp on my ground?" + +"Is it your ground?" said I. + +"A pretty question," said the fellow; "as if all the world didn't know +that. Do you know who I am?" + +"I guess I do," said I; "unless I am much mistaken, you are he whom folks +call the 'Flaming Tinman.' To tell you the truth, I'm glad we have met, +for I wished to see you. These are your two wives, I suppose; I greet +them. There's no harm done--there's room enough here for all of us--we +shall soon be good friends, I dare say; and when we are a little better +acquainted, I'll tell you my history." + +"Well, if that doesn't beat all!" said the fellow. + +"I don't think he's chaffing now," said the girl, whose anger seemed to +have subsided on a sudden; "the young man speaks civil enough." + +"Civil!" said the fellow, with an oath; "but that's just like you: with +you it is a blow, and all over. Civil! I suppose you would have him +stay here, and get into all my secrets, and hear all I may have to say to +my two morts." + +"Two morts," {86} said the girl, kindling up--"where are they? Speak for +one, and no more. I am no mort of yours, whatever some one else may be. +I tell you one thing, Black John, or Anselo, for t'other an't your name, +the same thing I told the young man here, be civil, or you will rue it." + +The fellow looked at the girl furiously, but his glance soon quailed +before hers; he withdrew his eyes, and cast them on my little horse, +which was feeding amongst the trees. "What's this?" said he, rushing +forward and seizing the animal. "Why, as I am alive, this is the horse +of that mumping villain Slingsby." + +"It's his no longer; I bought it and paid for it." + +"It's mine now," said the fellow; "I swore I would seize it the next time +I found it on my beat--ay, and beat the master too." + +"I am not Slingsby." + +"All's one for that." + +"You don't say you will beat me?" + +"Afraid was the word." + +"I'm sick and feeble." + +"Hold up your fists." + +"Won't the horse satisfy you?" + +"Horse nor bellows either." + +"No mercy, then." + +"Here's at you." + +"Mind your eyes, Jack. There, you've got it. I thought so," shouted the +girl, as the fellow staggered back from a sharp blow in the eye. "I +thought he was chaffing at you all along." + +"Never mind, Anselo. You know what to do--go in," said the vulgar woman, +who had hitherto not spoken a word, but who now came forward with all the +look of a fury; "go in, apopli; {87} you'll smash ten like he." + +The Flaming Tinman took her advice, and came in bent on smashing, but +stopped short on receiving a left-handed blow on the nose. + +"You'll never beat the Flaming Tinman in that way," said the girl, +looking at me doubtfully. + +And so I began to think myself, when, in the twinkling of an eye, the +Flaming Tinman disengaged himself of his frock-coat, and, dashing off his +red nightcap, came rushing in more desperately than ever. To a flush hit +which he received in the mouth he paid as little attention as a wild bull +would have done; in a moment his arms were around me, and in another, he +had hurled me down, falling heavily upon me. The fellow's strength +appeared to be tremendous. + +"Pay him off now," said the vulgar woman. The Flaming Tinman made no +reply, but planting his knee on my breast, seized my throat with two huge +horny hands. I gave myself up for dead, and probably should have been so +in another minute but for the tall girl, who caught hold of the +handkerchief which the fellow wore round his neck with a grasp nearly as +powerful as that with which he pressed my throat. + +"Do you call that fair play?" said she. + +"Hands off, Belle," said the other woman; "do you call it fair play to +interfere? hands off, or I'll be down upon you myself." + +But Belle paid no heed to the injunction, and tugged so hard at the +handkerchief, that the Flaming Tinman was nearly throttled; suddenly +relinquishing his hold of me, he started on his feet, and aimed a blow at +my fair preserver, who avoided it, but said coolly:-- + +"Finish t'other business first, and then I'm your woman whenever you +like; but finish it fairly--no foul play when I'm by--I'll be the boy's +second, and Moll can pick you up when he happens to knock you down." + +The battle during the next ten minutes raged with considerable fury, but +it so happened that during this time I was never able to knock the +Flaming Tinman down, but on the contrary received six knock-down blows +myself. "I can never stand this," said I, as I sat on the knee of Belle: +"I am afraid I must give in; the Flaming Tinman hits very hard," and I +spat out a mouthful of blood. + +"Sure enough you'll never beat the Flaming Tinman in the way you +fight--it's of no use flipping at the Flaming Tinman with your left hand: +why don't you use your right?" + +"Because I'm not handy with it," said I; and then getting up, I once more +confronted the Flaming Tinman, and struck him six blows for his one, but +they were all left-handed blows, and the blow which the Flaming Tinman +gave me knocked me off my legs. + +"Now, will you use Long Melford?" said Belle, picking me up. + +"I don't know what you mean by Long Melford," said I, gasping for breath. + +"Why, this long right of yours," said Belle, feeling my right arm--"if +you do, I shouldn't wonder if you yet stand a chance." + +And now the Flaming Tinman was once more ready, much more ready than +myself. I, however, rose from my second's knee as well as my weakness +would permit me; on he came striking left and right, appearing almost as +fresh as to wind and spirit as when he first commenced the combat, though +his eyes were considerably swelled, and his nether lip was cut in two; on +he came, striking left and right, and I did not like his blows at all, or +even the wind of them, which was anything but agreeable, and I gave way +before him. At last he aimed a blow which, had it taken full effect, +would doubtless have ended the battle, but, owing to his slipping, the +fist only grazed my left shoulder, and came with terrific force against a +tree, close to which I had been driven; before the Tinman could recover +himself, I collected all my strength, and struck him beneath the ear, and +then fell to the ground completely exhausted, and it so happened that the +blow which I struck the Tinker beneath the ear was a right-handed blow. + +"Hurrah for Long Melford!" I heard Belle exclaim; "there is nothing like +Long Melford for shortness all the world over." + +At these words, I turned round my head as I lay, and perceived the +Flaming Tinman stretched upon the ground apparently senseless. "He is +dead," said the vulgar woman, as she vainly endeavoured to raise him up; +"he is dead; the best man in all the north country, killed in this +fashion, by a boy." Alarmed at these words, I made shift to get on my +feet; and, with the assistance of the woman, placed my fallen adversary +in a sitting posture. I put my hand to his heart, and felt a slight +pulsation. "He's not dead," said I, "only stunned; if he were let blood, +he would recover presently." I produced a penknife which I had in my +pocket, and, baring the arm of the Tinman, was about to make the +necessary incision, when the woman gave me a violent blow, and, pushing +me aside, exclaimed, "I'll tear the eyes out of your head, if you offer +to touch him. Do you want to complete your work, and murder him +outright, now he's asleep? you have had enough of his blood already." +"You are mad," said I; "I only seek to do him service. Well, if you +won't let him be blooded, fetch some water and fling it into his face; +you know where the pit is." + +"A pretty manoeuvre," said the woman: "leave my mard {90a} in the hands +of you and that limmer, {90b} who has never been true to us: I should +find him strangled or his throat cut when I came back." "Do you go," +said I to the tall girl, "take the can and fetch some water from the +pit." "You had better go yourself," said the girl, wiping a tear as she +looked on the yet senseless form of the tinker; "you had better go +yourself, if you think water will do him good." I had by this time +somewhat recovered my exhausted powers, and, taking the can, I bent my +steps as fast as I could to the pit; arriving there, I lay down on the +brink, took a long draught, and then plunged my head into the water; +after which I filled the can, and bent my way back to the dingle. Before +I could reach the path which led down into its depths, I had to pass some +way along its side; I had arrived at a part immediately over the scene of +the last encounter, where the bank, overgrown with trees, sloped +precipitously down. Here I heard a loud sound of voices in the dingle; I +stopped, and laying hold of a tree, leaned over the bank and listened. +The two women appeared to be in hot dispute in the dingle. "It was all +owing to you, you limmer," said the vulgar woman to the other; "had you +not interfered, the old man would soon have settled the boy." + +"I'm for fair play and Long Melford," said the other. "If yow old man, +as you call him, could have settled the boy fairly, he might, for all I +should have cared, but no foul work for me; and as for sticking the boy +with our gulleys {91} when he comes back, as you proposed, I am not so +fond of your old man or you that I should oblige you in it, to my soul's +destruction." "Hold your tongue, or I'll . . ."; I listened no farther, +but hastened as fast as I could to the dingle. My adversary had just +begun to show signs of animation; the vulgar woman was still supporting +him, and occasionally cast glances of anger at the tall girl, who was +walking slowly up and down. I lost no time in dashing the greater part +of the water into the Tinman's face, whereupon he sneezed, moved his +hands, and presently looked round him. At first his looks were dull and +heavy, and without any intelligence at all; he soon, however, began to +recollect himself, and to be conscious of his situation; he cast a +scowling glance at me, then one of the deepest malignity at the tall +girl, who was still walking about without taking much notice of what was +going forward. At last he looked at his right hand, which had evidently +suffered from the blow against the tree, and a half-stifled curse escaped +his lips. The vulgar woman now said something to him in a low tone, +whereupon he looked at her for a moment, and then got upon his legs. +Again the vulgar woman said something to him; her looks were furious, and +she appeared to be urging him on to attempt something. I observed that +she had a clasped knife in her hand. The fellow remained standing for +some time, as if hesitating what to do; at last he looked at his hand, +and, shaking his head, said something to the woman which I did not +understand. The tall girl, however, appeared to overhear him, and, +probably repeating his words, said, "No, it won't do: you are right +there; and now hear what I have to say,--let bygones be bygones, and let +us all shake hands, and camp here, as the young man was saying just now." +The man looked at her, and then, without any reply, went to his horse, +which was lying down among the trees, and kicking it up, led it to the +cart, to which he forthwith began to harness it. The other cart and +horse had remained standing motionless during the whole affair which I +have been recounting, at the bottom of the pass. The woman now took the +horse by the head, and leading it with the cart into the open part of the +dingle, turned both round, and then led them back, till the horse and +cart had mounted a little way up the ascent; she then stood still and +appeared to be expecting the man. During this proceeding Belle had stood +looking on without saying anything; at last, perceiving that the man had +harnessed his horse to the other cart, and that both he and the woman +were about to take their departure, she said, "You are not going, are +you?" Receiving no answer, she continued: "I tell you what, both of you, +Black John, and you Moll, his mort, this is not treating me over +civilly,--however, I am ready to put up with it, and to go with you if +you like, for I bear no malice. I'm sorry for what has happened, but you +have only yourselves to thank for it. Now, shall I go with you? only +tell me." The man made no manner of reply, but flogged his horse. The +woman, however, whose passions were probably under less control, replied, +with a screeching tone, "Stay where you are, you jade, and may the curse +of Judas cling to you,--stay with the bit of a mullo {93a} whom you +helped, and my only hope is that he may gulley {93b} you before he comes +to be--Have you with us, indeed! after what's past, no, nor nothing +belonging to you. Fetch down your mailla {94a} go-cart and live here +with your chabo." {94b} She then whipped on the horse, and ascended the +pass, followed by the man. The carts were light, and they were not long +in ascending the winding path. I followed, to see that they took their +departure. Arriving at the top, I found near the entrance a small donkey- +cart, which I concluded belonged to the girl. The tinker and his mort +were already at some distance; I stood looking after them for a little +time, then taking the donkey by the reins I led it with the cart to the +bottom of the dingle. Arrived there, I found Belle seated on the stone +by the fireplace. Her hair was all dishevelled, and she was in tears. + +"They were bad people," said she, "and I did not like them, but they were +my only acquaintance in the wide world." + + + + +CHAPTER V.--ISOPEL BERNERS: A TALL GIRL OF EIGHTEEN, AND HER STORY. + + +In the evening of that same day the tall girl and I sat at tea by the +fire, at the bottom of the dingle; the girl on a small stool, and myself, +as usual, upon my stone. + +The water which served for the tea had been taken from a spring of +pellucid water in the neighbourhood, which I had not had the good fortune +to discover, though it was well known to my companion, and to the +wandering people who frequented the dingle. + +"This tea is very good," said I, "but I cannot enjoy it as much as if I +were well: I feel very sadly." + +"How else should you feel," said the girl, "after fighting with the +Flaming Tinman? All I wonder is that you can feel at all! As for the +tea, it ought to be good, seeing that it cost me ten shillings a pound." + +"That's a great deal for a person in your station to pay." + +"In my station! I'd have you to know, young man--however, I haven't the +heart to quarrel with you, you look so ill; and after all, it is a good +sum to pay for one who travels the roads; but if I must have tea, I like +to have the best; and tea I must have, for I am used to it, though I +can't help thinking that it sometimes fills my head with strange +fancies--what some folks call vapours, making me weep and cry!" + +"Dear me," said I, "I should never have thought that one of your size and +fierceness would weep and cry!" + +"My size and fierceness! I tell you what, young man, you are not over +civil, this evening; but you are ill, as I said before, and I shan't take +much notice of your language, at least for the present; as for my size, I +am not so much bigger than yourself; and as for being fierce, you should +be the last one to fling that at me. It is well for you that I can be +fierce sometimes. If I hadn't taken your part against Blazing Bosville, +you wouldn't be now taking tea with me." + +"It is true that you struck me in the face first; but we'll let that +pass. So that man's name is Bosville; what's your own?" + +"Isopel Berners." + +"How did you get that name?" + +"I say, young man, you seem fond of asking questions! will you have +another cup of tea?" + +"I was just going to ask for another." + +"Well, then, here it is, and much good may it do you; as for my name, I +got it from my mother." + +"Your mother's name, then, was Isopel?" + +"Isopel Berners." + +"But had you never a father?" + +"Yes, I had a father," said the girl, sighing, "but I don't bear his +name." + +"It is the fashion, then, in your country for children to bear their +mother's name?" + +"If you ask such questions, young man, I shall be angry with you. I have +told you my name, and whether my father's or mother's, I am not ashamed +of it." + +"It is a noble name." + +"There you are right, young man. The chaplain in the great house, where +I was born, told me it was a noble name; it was odd enough, he said, that +the only three noble names in the country were to be found in the great +house; mine was one; the other two were Devereux and Bohun." + +"What do you mean by the great house?" + +"The workhouse." + +"Is it possible that you were born there?" + +"Yes, young man; and as you now speak softly and kindly, I will tell you +my whole tale. My father was an officer of the sea, and was killed at +sea as he was coming home to marry my mother, Isopel Berners. He had +been acquainted with her, and had left her; but after a few months he +wrote her a letter, to say that he had no rest, and that he repented, and +that as soon as his ship came to port he would do her all the reparation +in his power. Well, young man, the very day before they reached port +they met the enemy, and there was a fight, and my father was killed, +after he had struck down six of the enemy's crew on their own deck; for +my father was a big man, as I have heard, and knew tolerably well how to +use his hands. And when my mother heard the news, she became half +distracted, and ran away into the fields and forests, totally neglecting +her business, for she was a small milliner; and so she ran demented about +the meads and forests for a long time, now sitting under a tree, and now +by the side of a river--at last she flung herself into some water, and +would have been drowned, had not some one been at hand and rescued her, +whereupon she was conveyed to the great house, lest she should attempt to +do herself further mischief, for she had neither friends nor parents--and +there she died three months after, having first brought me into the +world. She was a sweet, pretty creature, I'm told, but hardly fit for +this world, being neither large, nor fierce, nor able to take her own +part. So I was born and bred in the great house, where I learnt to read +and sew, to fear God, and to take my own part. When I was fourteen I was +put out to service to a small farmer and his wife, with whom, however, I +did not stay long, for I was half starved, and otherwise ill-treated, +especially by my mistress, who one day attempted to knock me down with a +besom, I knocked her down with my fist, and went back to the great +house." + +"And how did they receive you in the great house?" + +"Not very kindly, young man--on the contrary, I was put into a dark room, +where I was kept a fortnight on bread and water; I did not much care, +however, being glad to have got back to the great house at any rate, the +place where I was born, and where my poor mother died; and in the great +house I continued two years longer, reading and sewing, fearing God, and +taking my own part when necessary. At the end of the two years I was +again put out to service, but this time to a rich farmer and his wife, +with whom, however, I did not live long,--less time, I believe, than with +the poor ones, being obliged to leave for--" + +"Knocking your mistress down?" + +"No, young man, knocking my master down, who conducted himself improperly +towards me. This time I did not go back to the great house, having a +misgiving that they would not receive me; so I turned my back to the +great house where I was born, and where my poor mother died, and wandered +for several days, I know not whither, supporting myself on a few +halfpence, which I chanced to have in my pocket. It happened one day, as +I sat under a hedge crying, having spent my last farthing, that a +comfortable-looking elderly woman came up in a cart, and seeing the state +in which I was, she stopped and asked what was the matter with me. I +told her some part of my story, whereupon she said, 'Cheer up, my dear: +if you like, you shall go with me, and wait upon me.' Of course I wanted +little persuasion, so I got into the cart and went with her. She took me +to London and various other places, and I soon found that she was a +travelling woman, who went about the country with silks and linen. I was +of great use to her, more especially in those places where we met evil +company. Once, as we were coming from Dover, we were met by two sailors, +who stopped our cart, and would have robbed and stripped us. 'Let me get +down,' said I; so I got down, and fought with them both, till they turned +round and ran away. Two years I lived with the old gentlewoman, who was +very kind to me, almost as kind as a mother; at last she fell sick at a +place in Lincolnshire, and after a few days died, leaving me her cart and +stock in trade, praying me only to see her decently buried, which I did, +giving her a funeral fit for a gentlewoman. After which I travelled the +country melancholy enough for want of company, but so far fortunate, that +I could take my own part when anybody was uncivil to me. At last, +passing through the valley of Todmorden, I formed the acquaintance of +Blazing Bosville and his wife, with whom I occasionally took journeys for +company's sake, for it is melancholy to travel about alone, even when one +can take one's own part. I soon found they were evil people; but, upon +the whole, they treated me civilly, and I sometimes lent them a little +money, so that we got on tolerably well together. He and I, it is true, +had once a dispute, and nearly came to blows; for once, when we were +alone, he wanted me to marry him, promising, if I would, to turn off Grey +Moll, or if I liked it better, to make her wait upon me as a +maid-servant. I never liked him much, but from that hour less than ever. +Of the two, I believe Grey Moll to be the best, for she is at any rate +true and faithful to him, and I like truth and constancy, don't you, +young man?" + +"Yes," said I, "they are very nice things. I feel very strangely." + +"How do you feel, young man?" + +"Very much afraid." + +"Afraid, at what? At the Flaming Tinman? Don't be afraid of him. He +won't come back, and if he did, he shouldn't touch you in this state: I'd +fight him for you. But he won't come back, so you needn't be afraid of +him." + +"I'm not afraid of the Flaming Tinman." + +"What, then, are you afraid of?" + +"The evil one?" + +"The evil one?" said the girl: "where is he?" + +"Coming upon me." + +"Never heed," said the girl: "I'll stand by you." + + + + +CHAPTER VI.--A FOAMING DRAUGHT--THE MAGIC OF ALE. + + +The kitchen of the public-house was a large one, and many people were +drinking in it; there was a confused hubbub of voices. + +I sat down on a bench behind a deal table, of which there were three or +four in the kitchen; presently a bulky man, in a green coat, of the +Newmarket cut, and without a hat, entered, and observing me, came up, and +in rather a gruff tone cried, "Want anything, young fellow?" + +"Bring me a jug of ale," said I; "if you are the master, as I suppose you +are, by that same coat of yours, and your having no hat on your head." + +"Don't be saucy, young fellow," said the landlord, for such he was, +"don't be saucy, or--" Whatever he intended to say, he left unsaid, for +fixing his eyes upon one of my hands, which I had placed by chance upon +the table, he became suddenly still. + +This was my left hand, which was raw and swollen, from the blows dealt on +a certain hard skull in a recent combat. "What do you mean by staring at +my hand so?" said I, withdrawing it from the table. + +"No offence, young man, no offence," said the landlord in a quite altered +tone; "but the sight of your hand--." Then observing that our +conversation began to attract the notice of the guests in the kitchen, he +interrupted himself saying in an undertone, "But mum's the word for the +present; I will go and fetch the ale." + +In about a minute he returned, with a jug of ale foaming high. "Here's +your health," said he, blowing off the foam and drinking; but perceiving +that I looked rather dissatisfied, he murmured, "All's right--I glory in +you; but mum's the word." Then placing the jug on the table, he gave me +a confidential nod, and swaggered out of the room. + +What can the silly impertinent fellow mean? thought I; but the ale was +now before me, and I hastened to drink, for my weakness was great, and my +mind was full of dark thoughts, the remains of the indescribable horror +of the preceding night. It may kill me, thought I, as I drank deep; but +who cares? anything is better than what I have suffered. I drank deep, +and then leaned back against the wall; it appeared as if a vapour was +stealing up into my brain, gentle and benign, soothing and stilling the +horror and the fear; higher and higher it mounted, and I felt nearly +overcome; but the sensation was delicious, compared with that I had +lately experienced, and now I felt myself nodding; and, bending down, I +laid my head on the table on my folded hands. + +And in that attitude I remained some time, perfectly unconscious. At +length, by degrees, perception returned, and I lifted up my head. I felt +somewhat dizzy and bewildered, but the dark shadow had withdrawn itself +from me. And now, once more, I drank of the jug; this second draught did +not produce an overpowering effect upon me--it revived and strengthened +me--I felt a new man. + +I looked around me: the kitchen had been deserted by the greater part of +the guests; besides myself, only four remained; these were seated at the +farther end. One was haranguing fiercely and eagerly; he was abusing +England, and praising America. At last he exclaimed, "So when I gets to +New York, I will toss up my hat, and damn the King." + +That man must be a radical, thought I. + + + + +CHAPTER VII.--A DISCIPLE OF WILLIAM COBBETT--THE SCHOLAR ENCOUNTERS THE +PRIEST. + + +The individual whom I supposed to be a radical, after a short pause, +again uplifted his voice; he was rather a strong-built fellow of about +thirty, with an ill-favoured countenance, a white hat on his head, a +snuff-coloured coat on his back, and, when he was not speaking, a pipe in +his mouth. "Who would live in such a country as England?" he shouted. + +"There is no country like America," said his nearest neighbour, a man +also in a white hat, and of a very ill-favoured countenance,--"there is +no country like America," said he, withdrawing a pipe from his mouth. "I +think I shall"--and here he took a draught from a jug, the contents of +which he appeared to have in common with the other--"go to America one of +these days myself." + +"Poor old England is not such a bad country, after all," said a third, a +simple-looking man in a labouring dress, who sat smoking a pipe without +anything before him. "If there was but a little more work to be got I +should have nothing to say against her. I hope, however--" + +"You hope? who cares what you hope?" interrupted the first, in a savage +tone; "you are one of those sneaking hounds who are satisfied with dog's +wages, a bit of bread and a kick. Work, indeed! who, with the spirit of +a man, would work for a country where there is neither liberty of speech +nor of action, a land full of beggarly aristocracy, hungry +borough-mongers, insolent parsons, and 'their --- wives and daughters,' +as William Cobbett says, in his 'Register'?" + +"Ah, the Church of England has been a source of incalculable mischief to +these realms," said another. + +The person who uttered these words sat rather aloof from the rest; he was +dressed in a long black surtout. I could not see much of his face, +partly owing to his keeping it very much directed to the ground, and +partly owing to a large slouched hat which he wore; I observed, however, +that his hair was of a reddish tinge. On the table near him was a glass +and spoon. + +"You are quite right," said the first, alluding to what this last had +said: "the Church of England has done incalculable mischief here. I +value no religion three halfpence, for I believe in none; but the one +that I hate most is the Church of England; so when I get to New York, +after I have shown the fine fellows on the quay a spice of me, by --- the +King, I'll toss up my hat again, and --- the Church of England too." + +"And suppose the people of New York should clap you in the stocks?" said +I. + +These words drew upon me the attention of the whole four. The radical +and his companion stared at me ferociously; the man in black gave me a +peculiar glance from under his slouched hat; the simple-looking man in +the labouring dress laughed. + +"What are you laughing at, you fool?" said the radical, turning and +looking at the other, who appeared to be afraid of him, "hold your noise; +and a pretty fellow, you," said he, looking at me, "to come here, and +speak against the great American nation." + +"I speak against the great American nation?" said I: "I rather paid them +a compliment." + +"By supposing they would put me in the stocks? Well, I call it abusing +them, to suppose they would do any such thing. Stocks, indeed!--there +are no stocks in all the land. Put me in the stocks? why, the President +will come down to the quay, and ask me to dinner, as soon as he hears +what I have said about the King and the Church." + +"I shouldn't wonder," said I, "if you go to America, you will say of the +President and country what now you say of the King and Church, and cry +out for somebody to sent you back to England." + +The radical dashed his pipe to pieces against the table. "I tell you +what, young fellow, you are a spy of the aristocracy, sent here to kick +up a disturbance." + +"Kicking up a disturbance," said I, "is rather inconsistent with the +office of spy. If I were a spy, I should hold my head down, and say +nothing." + +The man in black {106} partially raised his head, and gave me another +peculiar glance. + +"Well, if you ar'n't sent to spy, you are sent to bully, to prevent +people speaking, and to run down the great American nation; but you +sha'n't bully me. I say, down with the aristocracy, the beggarly +aristocracy! Come, what have you to say to that?" + +"Nothing," said I. + +"Nothing!" repeated the radical. + +"No," said I: "down with them as soon as you can." + +"As soon as I can! I wish I could. But I can down with a bully of +theirs. Come, will you fight for them?" + +"No," said I. + +"You won't?" + +"No," said I; "though from what I have seen of them I should say they are +tolerably able to fight for themselves." + +"You won't fight for them," said the radical, triumphantly; "I thought +so; all bullies, especially those of the aristocracy, are cowards. Here, +landlord," said he, raising his voice, and striking against the table +with the jug, "some more ale--he won't fight for his friends." + +"A white feather," said his companion. + +"He! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Landlord, landlord," shouted the radical, striking the table with the +jug louder than before. + +"Who called?" said the landlord, coming in at last. + +"Fill this jug again," said the other, "and be quick about it." + +"Does any one else want anything?" said the landlord. + +"Yes," said the man in black; "you may bring me another glass of gin and +water." + +"Cold?" said the landlord. + +"Yes," said the man in black, "with a lump of sugar in it." + +"Gin and water cold, with a lump of sugar in it," {107} said I, and +struck the table with my fist. + +"Take some?" said the landlord inquiringly. + +"No," said I, "only something came into my head." + +"He's mad," said the man in black. + +"Not he," said the radical. "He's only shamming; he knows his master is +here, and therefore has recourse to these manoeuvres, but it won't do. +Come, landlord, what are you staring at? Why don't you obey your orders? +Keeping your customers waiting in this manner is not the way to increase +your business." + +The landlord looked at the radical, and then at me. At last taking the +jug and glass, he left the apartment, and presently returned with each +filled with its respective liquor. He placed the jug with the beer +before the radical, and the glass with the gin and water before the man +in black, and then, with a wink to me, he sauntered out. + +"Here is your health, sir," said the man of the snuff-coloured coat, +addressing himself to the man in black. "I honour you for what you said +about the Church of England. Every one who speaks against the Church of +England has my warm heart. Down with it, I say, and may the stones of it +be used for mending the roads, as my friend William says in his +Register." + +The man in black, with a courteous nod of his head, drank to the man in +the snuff-coloured coat. "With respect to the steeples," said he, "I am +not altogether of your opinion: they might be turned to better account +than to serve to mend the roads; they might still be used as places of +worship, but not for the worship of the Church of England. I have no +fault to find with the steeples, it is the Church itself which I am +compelled to arraign; but it will not stand long, the respectable part of +its ministers are already leaving it. It is a bad Church, a persecuting +Church." + +"Whom does it persecute?" said I. The man in black glanced at me +slightly, and then replied slowly, "The Catholics." + +"And do those whom you call Catholics never persecute?" said I. + +"Never," said the man in black. + +"Did you ever read 'Fox's Book of Martyrs?'" said I. + +"He! he!" tittered the man in black, "there is not a word of truth in +'Fox's Book of Martyrs.'" + +"Ten times more than in the 'Flos Sanctorum,'" said I. + +The man in black looked at me, but made no answer. + +"And what say you to the Massacre of the Albigenses and the Vaudois, +'whose bones lie scattered on the cold Alp,' or the Revocation of the +Edict of Nantes?" + +The man in black made no answer. + +"Go to," said I, "it is because the Church of England is not a +persecuting Church, that those whom you call the respectable part are +leaving her; it is because they can't do with the poor Dissenters what +Simon de Montfort did with the Albigenses, and the cruel Piedmontese with +the Vaudois, that they turn to bloody Rome; the Pope will no doubt +welcome them, for the Pope, do you see, being very much in want, will +welcome--" + +"Hollo!" said the radical, interfering, "what are you saying about the +Pope? I say hurrah for the Pope: I value no religion three halfpence, as +I said before, but if I were to adopt any, it should be the Popish, as +it's called, because I conceive the Popish to be the grand enemy of the +Church of England, of the beggarly aristocracy, and the borough-monger +system, so I won't hear the Pope abused while I am by. Come, don't look +fierce. You won't fight, you know, I have proved it; but I will give you +another chance: I will fight for the Pope--will you fight against him?" + +"O dear me, yes," said I, getting up and stepping forward. "I am a +quiet, peaceable young man, and, being so, am always ready to fight +against the Pope--the enemy of all peace and quiet--to refuse fighting +for the aristocracy is a widely different thing from refusing to fight +against the Pope--so come on, if you are disposed to fight for him. To +the Pope broken bells, to Saint James broken shells. No Popish vile +oppression, but the Protestant succession. Confusion to the Groyne, +hurrah for the Boyne, for the army at Clonmel, and the Protestant young +gentlemen who live there as well." + +"An Orangeman," said the man in black. + +"Not a Platitude," said I. + +The man in black gave a slight start. {110} + +"Amongst that family," said I, "no doubt something may be done, but +amongst the Methodist preachers I should conceive that the success would +not be great." + +The man in black sat quite still. + +"Especially amongst those who have wives," I added. + +The man in black stretched his hand towards his gin and water. + +"However," said I, "we shall see what the grand movement will bring +about, and the results of the lessons in elocution." + +The man in black lifted the glass up to his mouth, and in doing so, let +the spoon fall. + +"But what has this to do with the main question?" said I: "I am waiting +here to fight against the Pope." + +"Come, Hunter," said the companion of the man in the snuff-coloured coat, +"get up, and fight for the Pope." + +"I don't care for the young fellow," said the man in the snuff-coloured +coat. + +"I know you don't," said the other; "so get up, and serve him out." + +"I could serve out three like him," said the man in the snuff-coloured +coat. + +"So much the better for you," said the other--"the present work will be +all the easier for you; get up, and serve him out at once." + +The man in the snuff-coloured coat did not stir. + +"Who shows the white feather now?" said the simple-looking man. + +"He! he! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Who told you to interfere?" said the radical, turning ferociously +towards the simple-looking man; "say another word, and I'll--And you!" +said he, addressing himself to the man in black, "a pretty fellow you to +turn against me, after I had taken your part. I tell you what, you may +fight for yourself. I'll see you and your Pope in the pit of Eldon +before I fight for either of you, so make the most of it." + +"Then you won't fight?" said I. + +"Not for the Pope," said the radical; "I'll see the Pope--" + +"Dear me!" said I, "not fight for the Pope, whose religion you would turn +to, if you were inclined for any? I see how it is; you are not fond of +fighting. But I'll give you another chance. You were abusing the Church +of England just now. I'll fight for it--will you fight against it?" + +"Come, Hunter," said the other, "get up, and fight against the Church of +England." + +"I have no particular quarrel against the Church of England," said the +man in the snuff-coloured coat; "my quarrel is with the aristocracy. If +I said anything against the Church, it is merely for a bit of corollary, +as Master William Cobbett would say; the quarrel with the Church belongs +to this fellow in black, so let him carry it on. However," he continued +suddenly, "I won't slink from the matter either; it shall never be said +by the fine fellows on the quay of New York, that I wouldn't fight +against the Church of England. So down with the beggarly aristocracy, +the Church, and the Pope, to the bottom of the pit of Eldon, and may the +Pope fall first, and the others upon him." + +Thereupon, dashing his hat on the table, he placed himself in an attitude +of offence, and rushed forward. He was, as I have said before, a +powerful fellow, and might have proved a dangerous antagonist, more +especially to myself, who, after my recent encounter with the Flaming +Tinman, and my wrestlings with the evil one, was in anything but fighting +order. Any collision, however, was prevented by the landlord, who, +suddenly appearing, thrust himself between us. "There shall be no +fighting here," said he: "no one shall fight in this house, except it be +with myself; so if you two have anything to say to each other, you had +better go into the field behind the house. But you fool," said he, +pushing Hunter violently on the breast, "do you know whom you are going +to tackle with?--this is the young chap that beat Blazing Bosville, only +as late as yesterday, in Mumpers Dingle. Grey Moll told me all about it +last night, when she came for some brandy for her husband, who, she said, +had been half killed; and she described the young man to me so closely, +that I knew him at once, that is, as soon as I saw how his left hand was +bruised, for she told me he was a left-hand hitter. Ar'n't it all true, +young man? Ar'n't you he that beat Flaming Bosville in Mumpers Dingle?" +"I never beat Flaming Bosville," said I: "he beat himself. Had he not +struck his hand against a tree, I shouldn't be here at the present +moment." "Hear! hear!" said the landlord, "now that's just as it should +be; I like a modest man, for, as the parson says, nothing sits better +upon the young man than modesty. I remember, when I was young, fighting +with Tom of Hopton, the best man that ever pulled off coat in England. I +remember, too, that I won the battle; for I happened to hit Tom of Hopton +in the mark, as he was coming in, so that he lost his wind, and falling +squelch on the ground, do ye see, he lost the battle; though I am free to +confess that he was a better man than myself--indeed, the best man that +ever fought in England. Yet still I won the battle, as every customer of +mine, and everybody within twelve miles round, has heard over and over +again. Now, Mr. Hunter, I have one thing to say; if you choose to go +into the field behind the house, and fight the young man, you can. I'll +back him for ten pounds; but no fighting in my kitchen--because why? I +keeps a decent kind of an establishment." + +"I have no wish to fight the young man," said Hunter; "more especially as +he has nothing to say for the aristocracy. If he chose to fight for +them, indeed--but he won't, I know; for I see he's a decent, respectable +young man; and, after all, fighting is a blackguard way of settling a +dispute, so I have no wish to fight. However, there is one thing I'll +do," said he, uplifting his fist; "I'll fight this fellow in black here +for half a crown, or for nothing, if he pleases; it was he that got up +the last dispute between me and the young man, with his Pope and his +nonsense; so I will fight him for anything he pleases, and perhaps the +young man will be my second; whilst you--" + +"Come, Doctor," said the landlord, "or whatsoever you be, will you go +into the field with Hunter? I'll second you, only you must back +yourself. I'll lay five pounds on Hunter, if you are inclined to back +yourself; and will help you to win it as far, do you see, as a second +can; because why? I always likes to do the fair thing." + +"Oh! I have no wish to fight," said the man in black, hastily; "fighting +is not my trade. If I have given any offence, I beg anybody's pardon." + +"Landlord," said I, "what have I to pay?" + +"Nothing at all," said the landlord; "glad to see you. This is the first +time that you have been at my house, and I never charge new customers, at +least customers such as you, anything for the first draught. You'll come +again, I daresay; shall always be glad to see you. I won't take it," +said he, as I put sixpence on the table; "I won't take it." + +"Yes, you shall," said I; "but not in payment for anything I have had +myself: it shall serve to pay for a jug of ale for that gentleman," said +I, pointing to the simple-looking individual; "he is smoking a poor pipe, +I do not mean to say that a pipe is a bad thing; but a pipe without ale, +do you see--" + +"Bravo!" said the landlord, "that's just the conduct I like." + +"Bravo!" said Hunter. "I shall be happy to drink with the young man +whenever I meet him at New York, where, do you see, things are better +managed than here." + +"If I have given offence to anybody," said the man in black, "I repeat +that I ask pardon,--more especially to the young gentleman, who was +perfectly right to stand up for his religion, just as I--not that I am of +any particular religion, no more than this honest gentleman here," bowing +to Hunter; "but I happen to know something of the Catholics--several +excellent friends of mine are Catholics--and of a surety the Catholic +religion is an ancient religion, and a widely-extended religion, though +it certainly is not a universal religion, but it has of late made +considerable progress, even amongst those nations who have been +particularly opposed to it--amongst the Prussians and the Dutch, for +example, to say nothing of the English; and then, in the East, amongst +the Persians, amongst the Armenians." + +"The Armenians," said I; "O dear me, the Armenians--" + +"Have you anything to say about those people, sir?" said the man in +black, lifting up his glass to his mouth. + +"I have nothing further to say," said I, "than that the roots of Ararat +are occasionally found to be deeper than those of Rome." {117} + +"There's half a crown broke," said the landlord, as the man in black let +fall the glass, which was broken to pieces on the floor. "You will pay +me the damage, friend, before you leave this kitchen. I like to see +people drink freely in my kitchen, but not too freely, and I hate +breakages: because why? I keeps a decent kind of an establishment." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII.--FIRST LESSONS IN ARMENIAN. + + +The public-house where the scenes which I have attempted to describe in +the preceding chapters took place, was at the distance of about two miles +from the dingle. The sun was sinking in the west by the time I returned +to the latter spot. I found Belle seated by a fire, over which her +kettle was suspended. During my absence she had prepared herself a kind +of tent, consisting of large hoops covered over with tarpaulin, quite +impenetrable to rain, however violent. "I am glad you are returned," +said she, as soon as she perceived me; "I began to be anxious about you. +Did you take my advice?" + +"Yes," said I; "I went to the public-house and drank ale as you advised +me; it cheered, strengthened, and drove away the horror from my mind--I +am much beholden to you." + +"I knew it would do you good," said Belle; "I remembered that when the +poor women in the great house were afflicted with hysterics and fearful +imaginings, the surgeon, who was a good, kind man, used to say, 'Ale, +give them ale, and let it be strong.'" + +"He was no advocate for tea, then?" {118} said I. + +"He had no objection to tea; but he used to say, 'Everything in its +season.' Shall we take ours now?--I have waited for you." + +"I have no objection," said I; "I feel rather heated, and at present +should prefer tea to ale--'Everything in its season,' as the surgeon +said." + +Thereupon Belle prepared tea, and, as we were taking it, she said, "What +did you see and hear at the public-house?" + +"Really," said I, "you appear to have your full portion of curiosity: +what matters it to you what I saw and heard at the public-house?" + +"It matters very little to me," said Belle; "I merely inquired of you, +for the sake of a little conversation. You were silent, and it is +uncomfortable for two people to sit together without opening their +lips--at least, I think so." + +"One only feels uncomfortable," said I, "in being silent, when one +happens to be thinking of the individual with whom one is in company. To +tell you the truth, I was not thinking of my companion, but of certain +company with whom I had been at the public-house." + +"Really, young man," said Belle, "you are not over complimentary; but who +may this wonderful company have been--some young--?" and here Belle +stopped. + +"No," said I, "there was no young person--if person you were going to +say. There was a big portly landlord, whom I dare say you have seen; a +noisy, savage radical, who wanted at first to fasten upon me a quarrel +about America, but who subsequently drew in his horns; then there was a +strange fellow, a prowling priest, I believe, whom I have frequently +heard of, who at first seemed disposed to side with the radical against +me, and afterwards with me against the radical. There, you know my +company, and what took place." + +"Was there no one else?" said Belle. + +"You are mighty curious," said I. "No, none else, except a poor simple +mechanic, and some common company, who soon went away." + +Belle looked at me for a moment, and then appeared to be lost in thought. +"America," said she musingly--"America!" + +"What of America?" said I. + +"I have heard that it is a mighty country." + +"I dare say it is," said I; "I have heard my father say that the +Americans are first-rate marksmen." + +"I heard nothing about that," said Belle; "what I heard was, that it is a +great and goodly land, where people can walk about without jostling, and +where the industrious can always find bread; I have frequently thought of +going thither." + +"Well," I said, "the radical in the public-house will perhaps be glad of +your company thither; he is as great an admirer of America as yourself, +though I believe on different grounds." + +"I shall go by myself," said Belle, "unless--unless that should happen +which is not likely. I am not fond of radicals no more than I am of +scoffers and mockers." + +"Do you mean to say that I am a scoffer and mocker?" + +"I don't wish to say you are," said Belle; "but some of your words sound +strangely like scoffing and mocking. I have now one thing to beg, which +is, that if you have anything to say against America, you would speak it +out boldly." + +"What should I have to say against America? I never was there." + +"Many people speak against America who never were there." + +"Many people speak in praise of America who never were there; but with +respect to myself, I have not spoken for or against America." + +"If you liked America you would speak in its praise." + +"By the same rule, if I disliked America I should speak against it." + +"I can't speak with you," said Belle; "but I see you dislike the +country." + +"The country!" + +"Well, the people--don't you?" + +"I do." + +"Why do you dislike them?" + +"Why, I have heard my father say that the American marksmen, led on by a +chap of the name of Washington, sent the English to the right-about in +double-quick time." + +"And that is your reason for disliking the Americans?" + +"Yes," said I, "that is my reason for disliking them." + +"Will you take another cup of tea?" said Belle. + +I took another cup; we were again silent. "It is rather uncomfortable," +said I, at last, "for people to sit together without having anything to +say." + +"Were you thinking of your company?" said Belle. + +"What company?" said I. + +"The present company." + +"The present company! Oh, ah!--I remember that I said one only feels +uncomfortable in being silent with a companion, when one happens to be +thinking of the companion. Well, I had been thinking of you the last two +or three minutes, and had just come to the conclusion, that to prevent us +both feeling occasionally uncomfortably towards each other, having +nothing to say, it would be as well to have a standing subject, on which +to employ our tongues. Belle, I have determined to give you lessons in +Armenian." + +"What is Armenian?" + +"Did you ever hear of Ararat?" + +"Yes, that was the place where the ark rested; I have heard the chaplain +in the great house talk of it; besides, I have read of it in the Bible." + +"Well, Armenian is the speech of people of that place, and I should like +to teach it you." + +"To prevent--" + +"Ay, ay, to prevent our occasionally feeling uncomfortable together. Your +acquiring it besides might prove of ulterior advantage to us both: for +example, suppose you and I were in promiscuous company, at Court, for +example, and you had something to communicate to me which you did not +wish any one else to be acquainted with, how safely you might communicate +it to me in Armenian!" + +"Would not the language of the roads do as well?" said Belle. + +"In some places it would," said I, "but not at Court, owing to its +resemblance to thieves' slang. There is Hebrew, again, which I was +thinking of teaching you, till the idea of being presented at Court made +me abandon it, from the probability of our being understood, in the event +of our speaking it, by at least half a dozen people in our vicinity. +There is Latin, it is true, or Greek, which we might speak aloud at Court +with perfect confidence of safety; but upon the whole I should prefer +teaching you Armenian, not because it would be a safer language to hold +communication with at Court, but because, not being very well grounded in +it myself, I am apprehensive that its words and forms may escape from my +recollection, unless I have sometimes occasion to call them forth." + +"I am afraid we shall have to part company before I have learnt it," said +Belle; "in the mean time, if I wish to say anything to you in private, +somebody being by, shall I speak in the language of the roads?" + +"If no roadster is nigh, you may," said I, "and I will do my best to +understand you. Belle, I will now give you a lesson in Armenian." + +"I suppose you mean no harm," said Belle. + +"Not in the least; I merely propose the thing to prevent our occasionally +feeling uncomfortable together. Let us begin." + +"Stop till I have removed the tea-things," said Belle; and, getting up, +she removed them to her own encampment. + +"I am ready," said Belle, returning, and taking her former seat, "to join +with you in anything which will serve to pass away the time agreeably, +provided there is no harm in it." + +"Belle," said I, "I have determined to commence the course of Armenian +lessons by teaching you the numerals; but, before I do that, it will be +as well to tell you that the Armenian language is called Haik." + +"I am sure that word will hang upon my memory," said Belle. + +"Why hang upon it?" + +"Because the old women in the great house used to call so the chimney- +hook, on which they hung the kettle; in like manner, on the hake of my +memory I will hang your hake." + +"Good!" said I, "you will make an apt scholar; but, mind, that I did not +say hake, but haik; the words are, however, very much alike; and, as you +observe, upon your hake you may hang my haik. We will now proceed to the +numerals." + +"What are numerals?" said Belle. + +"Numbers. I will say the Haikan numbers up to ten. There, have you +heard them?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, try and repeat them." + +"I only remember number one," said Belle, "and that because it is me." + +"I will repeat them again," said I, "and pay great attention. Now, try +again." + +"Me, jergo, earache." + +"I neither said jergo, nor earache. I said yergou and yerek. Belle, I +am afraid I shall have some difficulty with you as a scholar." + +Belle made no answer. Her eyes were turned in the direction of the +winding path, which led from the bottom of the hollow where we were +seated, to the plain above "Gorgio shunella," {125a} she said, at length, +in a low voice. + +"Pure Rommany," said I; "where?" I added, in a whisper. + +"Dovey odoy," {125b} said Belle, nodding with her head towards the path. + +"I will soon see who it is," said I; and starting up, I rushed towards +the pathway, intending to lay violent hands on any one I might find +lurking in its windings. Before, however, I had reached its +commencement, a man, somewhat above the middle height, advanced from it +into the dingle, in whom I recognised the man in black, whom I had seen +in the public-house. + + + + +CHAPTER IX.--LAVENGRO RECEIVES A VISIT OF CEREMONY FROM THE MAN IN BLACK. + + +The man in black and myself stood opposite to each other for a minute or +two in silence; I will not say that we confronted each other that time, +for the man in black, after a furtive glance, did not look me in the +face, but kept his eyes fixed, apparently on the leaves of a bunch of +ground nuts which were growing at my feet. At length, looking round the +dingle, he exclaimed, "Buona Sera, I hope I don't intrude." + +"You have as much right here," said I, "as I or my companion; but you had +no right to stand listening to our conversation." + +"I was not listening," said the man: "I was hesitating whether to advance +or retire; and if I heard some of your conversation the fault was not +mine." + +"I do not see why you should have hesitated if your intentions were +good," said I. + +"I think the kind of place in which I found myself might excuse some +hesitation," said the man in black, looking around; "moreover, from what +I have seen of your demeanour at the public-house, I was rather +apprehensive that the reception I might experience at your hands might be +more rough than agreeable." + +"And what may have been your motive for coming to this place?" said I. + +"Per far visita a sua signoria, ecco il motivo." + +"Why do you speak to me in that gibberish," said I; "do you think I +understand it?" + +"It is not Armenian," said the man in black; "but it might serve in a +place like this, for the breathing of a little secret communication, were +any common roadster near at hand. It would not do at Court, it is true, +being the language of singing women, and the like; but we are not at +Court--when we are, I can perhaps summon up a little indifferent Latin, +if I have anything private to communicate to the learned Professor." + +And at the conclusion of this speech the man in black lifted up his head, +and, for some moments, looked me in the face. The muscles of his own +seemed to be slightly convulsed, and his mouth opened in a singular +manner. + +"I see," said I, "that for some time you were standing near me and my +companion, in the mean act of listening." + +"Not at all," said the man in black: "I heard from the steep bank above, +that to which I have now alluded, whilst I was puzzling myself to find +the path which leads to your retreat. I made, indeed, nearly the compass +of the whole thicket before I found it." + +"And how did you know that I was here?" I demanded. + +"The landlord of the public-house, with whom I had some conversation +concerning you, informed me that he had no doubt I should find you in +this place, to which he gave me instructions not very clear. But now I +am here, I crave permission to remain a little time, in order that I may +hold some communion with you." + +"Well," said I, "since you are come, you are welcome; please step this +way." + +Thereupon I conducted the man in black to the fireplace, where Belle was +standing, who had risen from her stool on my springing up to go in quest +of the stranger. The man in black looked at her with evident curiosity, +then making her rather a graceful bow, "Lovely virgin," said he, +stretching out his hand, "allow me to salute your fingers." + +"I am not in the habit of shaking hands with strangers," said Belle. + +"I did not presume to request to shake hands with you," said the man in +black; "I merely wished to be permitted to salute with my lips the +extremity of your two forefingers." + +"I never permit anything of the kind," said Belle; "I do not approve of +such unmanly ways: they are only befitting those who lurk in corners or +behind trees, listening to the conversation of people who would fain be +private." + +"Do you take me for a listener, then?" said the man in black. + +"Ay, indeed I do," said Belle; "the young man may receive your excuses, +and put confidence in them if he please, but for my part I neither admit +them, nor believe them;" and thereupon flinging her long hair back, which +was hanging over her cheeks, she seated herself on her stool. + +"Come, Belle," said I, "I have bidden the gentleman welcome; I beseech +you, therefore, to make him welcome. He is a stranger, where we are at +home; therefore, even did we wish him away, we are bound to treat him +kindly." + +"That's not English doctrine," said the man in black. + +"I thought the English prided themselves on their hospitality," said I. + +"They do so," said the man in black; "they are proud of showing +hospitality to people above them, that is to those who do not want it, +but of the hospitality which you were now describing, and which is +Arabian, they know nothing. No Englishman will tolerate another in his +house, from whom he does not expect advantage of some kind, and to those +from whom he does, he can be civil enough. An Englishman thinks that, +because he is in his own house, he has a right to be boorish and brutal +to any one who is disagreeable to him, as all those are who are really in +want of assistance. Should a hunted fugitive rush into an Englishman's +house, beseeching protection, and appealing to the master's feelings of +hospitality, the Englishman would knock him down in the passage." + +"You are too general," said I, "in your strictures; Lord [Aberdeen], the +unpopular Tory minister, was once chased through the streets of London by +a mob, and, being in danger of his life, took shelter in the shop of a +Whig linendraper, declaring his own unpopular name, and appealing to the +linendraper's feelings of hospitality; whereupon the linendraper, utterly +forgetful of all party rancour, nobly responded to the appeal, and +telling his wife to conduct his lordship upstairs, jumped over the +counter, with his ell in his hand, and placing himself with half a dozen +of his assistants at the door of his boutique, manfully confronted the +mob, telling them that he would allow himself to be torn to a thousand +pieces, ere he would permit them to injure a hair of his lordship's head: +what do you think of that!" + +"He! he! he!" tittered the man in black. + +"Well," said I, "I am afraid your own practice is not very different from +that which you have been just now describing: you sided with the radical +in the public-house against me, as long as you thought him the most +powerful, and then turned against him when you saw he was cowed. What +have you to say to that?" + +"O! when one is in Rome, I mean England, one must do as they do in +England; I was merely conforming to the custom of the country, he! he! +but I beg your pardon here, as I did in the public-house I made a +mistake." + +"Well," said I, "we will drop the matter; but pray seat yourself on that +stone, and I will sit down on the grass near you." + +The man in black, after proffering two or three excuses for occupying +what he supposed to be my seat, sat down upon the stone, and I squatted +down gypsy fashion, just opposite to him, Belle sitting on her stool at a +slight distance on my right. + +After a time I addressed him thus. "Am I to reckon this a mere visit of +ceremony? Should it prove so, it will be, I believe, the first visit of +the kind ever paid me." + +"Will you permit me to ask," said the man in black,--"the weather is very +warm," said he, interrupting himself, and taking off his hat. + +I now observed that he was partly bald, his red hair having died away +from the fore part of his crown; his forehead was high, his eyebrows +scanty, his eyes, grey and sly, with a downward tendency, his nose was +slightly aquiline, his mouth rather large--a kind of sneering smile +played continually on his lips, his complexion was somewhat rubicund. + +"A bad countenance," said Belle, in the language of the roads, observing +that my eyes were fixed on his face. + +"Does not my countenance please you, fair damsel?" said the man in black, +resuming his hat and speaking in a peculiarly gentle voice. + +"How," said I, "do you understand the language of the roads?" + +"As little as I do Armenian," said the man in black; "but I understand +look and tone." + +"So do I, perhaps," retorted Belle; "and, to tell you the truth, I like +your tone as little as your face." + +"For shame!" said I; "have you forgot what I was saying just now about +the duties of hospitality? You have not yet answered my question," said +I, addressing myself to the man, "with respect to your visit." + +"Will you permit me to ask who you are?" + +"Do you see the place where I live?" said I. + +"I do," said the man in black, looking around. + +"Do you know the name of this place?" + +"I was told it was Mumpers' or Gypsies' Dingle," said the man in black. + +"Good," said I; "and this forge and tent, what do they look like?" + +"Like the forge and tent of a wandering Zigan; I have seen the like in +Italy." + +"Good," said I; "they belong to me." + +"Are you, then, a Gypsy?" said the man in black. + +"What else should I be?" + +"But you seem to have been acquainted with various individuals with whom +I have likewise had acquaintance; and you have even alluded to matters, +and even words, which have passed between me and them." + +"Do you know how Gypsies live!" said I. + +"By hammering old iron, I believe, and telling fortunes." + +"Well," said I, "there's my forge, and yonder is some iron, though not +old, and by your own confession I am a soothsayer." + +"But how did you come by your knowledge?" + +"Oh," said I, "if you want me to reveal the secrets of my trade, I have, +of course, nothing further to say. Go to the scarlet dyer, and ask him +how he dyes cloth." + +"Why scarlet?" said the man in black. "Is it because Gypsies blush like +scarlet?" + +"Gypsies never blush," said I; "but Gypsies' cloaks are scarlet." + +"I should almost take you for a Gypsy," said the man in black, "but for--" + +"For what?" said I. + +"But for that same lesson in Armenian, and your general knowledge of +languages; as for your manners and appearance I will say nothing," said +the man in black, with a titter. + +"And why should not a Gypsy possess a knowledge of languages?" said I. + +"Because the Gypsy race is perfectly illiterate," said the man in black; +"they are possessed, it is true, of a knavish acuteness, and are +particularly noted for giving subtle and evasive answers--and in your +answers, I confess, you remind me of them; but that one of the race +should acquire a learned language like the Armenian, and have a general +knowledge of literature, is a thing che io non credo afatto." + +"What do you take me for?" said I. + +"Why," said the man in black, "I should consider you to be a philologist, +who, for some purpose, has taken up a Gypsy life; but I confess to you +that your way of answering questions is far too acute for a philologist." + +"And why should not a philologist be able to answer questions acutely?" +said I. + +"Because the philological race is the most stupid under Heaven," said the +man in black; "they are possessed, it is true, of a certain faculty for +picking up words, and a memory for retaining them; but that any one of +the sect should be able to give a rational answer, to say nothing of an +acute one, on any subject--even though the subject were philology--is a +thing of which I have no idea." + +"But you found me giving a lesson in Armenian to this handmaid?" + +"I believe I did," said the man in black. + +"And you heard me give what you are disposed to call acute answers to the +questions you asked me?" + +"I believe I did," said the man in black. + +"And would any one but a philologist think of giving a lesson in Armenian +to a handmaid in a dingle?" + +"I should think not," said the man in black. + +"Well, then, don't you see that it is possible for a philologist to give +not only a rational, but an acute answer?" + +"I really don't know," said the man in black. + +"What's the matter with you?" said I. + +"Merely puzzled," said the man in black. + +"Puzzled?" + +"Yes." + +"Really puzzled?" + +"Yes." + +"Remain so." + +"Well," said the man in black, rising, "puzzled or not, I will no longer +trespass upon your and this young lady's retirement; only allow me, +before I go, to apologise for my intrusion." + +"No apology is necessary," said I; "will you please to take anything +before you go? I think this young lady, at my request, will contrive to +make you a cup of tea." + +"Tea!" said the man in black--"he! he! I don't drink tea; I don't like +it,--if, indeed, you had--" and here he stopped. + +"There's nothing like gin and water, is there?" said I, "but I am sorry +to say I have none." + +"Gin and water," said the man in black--"how do you know that I am fond +of gin and water?" + +"Did I not see you drinking some at the public-house?" + +"You did," said the man in black, "and I remember, that when I called for +some, you repeated my words. Permit me to ask, Is gin and water an +unusual drink in England?" + +"It is not usually drunk cold, and with a lump of sugar," said I. + +"And did you know who I was by my calling for it so?" + +"Gypsies have various ways of obtaining information," said I. + +"With all your knowledge," said the man in black, "you do not appear to +have known that I was coming to visit you?" + +"Gypsies do not pretend to know anything which relates to themselves," +said I; "but I advise you, if you ever come again, to come openly." + +"Have I your permission to come again?" said the man in black. + +"Come when you please; this dingle is as free for you as me." + +"I will visit you again," said the man in black--"till then addio." + +"Belle," said I, after the man in black had departed, "we did not treat +that man very hospitably; he left us without having eaten or drunk at our +expense." + +"You offered him some tea," said Belle, "which, as it is mine, I should +have grudged him, for I like him not." + +"Our liking or disliking him had nothing to do with the matter; he was +our visitor, and ought not to have been permitted to depart dry; living +as we do in this desert, we ought always to be prepared to administer to +the wants of our visitors. Belle, do you know where to procure any good +Hollands?" + +"I think I do," said Belle, "but--" + +"I will have no 'buts.' Belle, I expect that with as little delay as +possible you procure, at my expense, the best Hollands you can find." + + + + +CHAPTER X.--HOW ISOPEL BERNERS AND THE WORD-MASTER PASSED THEIR TIME IN +THE DINGLE. + + +Time passed on, and Belle and I lived in the dingle; when I say lived, +the reader must not imagine that we were always there. She went out upon +her pursuits, and I went out where inclination led me; but my excursions +were very short ones, and hers occasionally occupied whole days and +nights. If I am asked how we passed the time when we were together in +the dingle, I would answer that we passed the time very tolerably, all +things considered; we conversed together, and when tired of conversing I +would sometimes give Belle a lesson in Armenian; her progress was not +particularly brilliant, but upon the whole satisfactory; in about a +fortnight she had hung up one hundred Haikan numerals upon the hake of +her memory. I found her conversation highly entertaining; she had seen +much of England and Wales, and had been acquainted with some of the most +remarkable characters who travelled the roads at that period; and let me +be permitted to say that many remarkable characters have travelled the +roads of England, of whom fame has never said a word. I loved to hear +her anecdotes of these people; some of whom I found had occasionally +attempted to lay violent hands either upon her person or effects, and had +invariably been humbled by her without the assistance of either justice +or constable. I could clearly see, however, that she was rather tired of +England, and wished for a change of scene; she was particularly fond of +talking of America, to which country her aspirations chiefly tended. She +had heard much of America, which had excited her imagination; for at that +time America was much talked of, on roads and in homesteads, at least so +said Belle, who had good opportunities of knowing, and most people +allowed that it was a good country for adventurous English. The people +who chiefly spoke against it, as she informed me, were soldiers disbanded +upon pensions, the sextons of village churches, and excisemen. Belle had +a craving desire to visit that country, and to wander with cart and +little animal amongst its forests; when I would occasionally object, that +she would be exposed to danger from strange and perverse customers, she +said that she had not wandered the roads of England so long and alone, to +be afraid of anything which might befal in America; and that she hoped +with God's favour, to be able to take her own part, and to give to +perverse customers as good as they might bring. She had a dauntless +heart that same Belle: such was the staple of Belle's conversation. As +for mine, I would endeavour to entertain her with strange dreams of +adventure, in which I figured in opaque forests, strangling wild beasts, +or discovering and plundering the hoards of dragons; and sometimes I +would narrate to her other things far more genuine--how I had tamed +savage mares, wrestled with Satan, and had dealings with ferocious +publishers. Belle had a kind heart, and would weep at the accounts I +gave her of my early wrestlings with the dark Monarch. She would sigh, +too, as I recounted the many slights and degradations I had received at +the hands of ferocious publishers. But she had the curiosity of a woman; +and once, when I talked to her of the triumphs which I had achieved over +unbroken mares, she lifted up her head and questioned me as to the secret +of the virtue which I possessed over the aforesaid animals: whereupon I +sternly reprimanded, and forthwith commanded her to repeat the Armenian +numerals; and, on her demurring, I made use of words, to escape which she +was glad to comply, saying the Armenian numerals from one to a hundred, +which numerals, as a punishment for her curiosity, I made her repeat +three times, loading her with the bitterest reproaches whenever she +committed the slightest error, either in accent or pronunciation, which +reproaches she appeared to bear with the greatest patience. And now I +have given a fair account of the manner in which Isopel Berners and +myself passed our time in the dingle. + + + + +CHAPTER XI.--ALE, GIVE THEM ALE, AND LET IT BE STRONG--A MAIN OF +COCKS--LAVENGRO CONSOLES THE LANDLORD, WHO PROPOUNDS A NOVEL PLAN FOR THE +LIQUIDATION OF DEBTS. + + +Amongst other excursions, I went several times to the public-house, to +which I introduced the reader in a former chapter. I had experienced +such beneficial effects from the ale I had drunk on that occasion, that I +had wished to put its virtue to a frequent test; nor did the ale on +subsequent trials belie the good opinion which I had at first formed of +it. After each visit which I made to the public-house, I found my frame +stronger and my mind more cheerful than they had previously been. The +landlord appeared at all times glad to see me, and insisted that I should +sit within the bar, where, leaving his other guests to be attended to by +a niece of his who officiated as his housekeeper, he would sit beside me +and talk of matters concerning "the ring," indulging himself with a cigar +and a glass of sherry, which he told me was his favourite wine, whilst I +drank my ale. "I loves the conversation of all you coves of the ring," +said he once, "which is natural, seeing as how I have fought in a ring +myself. Ah, there is nothing like the ring; I wish I was not rather too +old to go again into it. I often think I should like to have another +rally--one more rally, and then--But there's a time for all things--youth +will be served, every dog has his day, and mine has been a fine one--let +me be content. After beating Tom of Hopton, there was not much more to +be done in the way of reputation; I have long sat in my bar the wonder +and glory of this here neighbourhood. I'm content, as far as reputation +goes; I only wish money would come in a little faster; however, the next +main of cocks will bring me in something handsome--comes off next +Wednesday at --- have ventured ten five-pound notes--shouldn't say +ventured either--run no risk at all, because why? I knows my birds." +About ten days after this harangue, I called again, at about three +o'clock one afternoon. The landlord was seated on a bench by a table in +the common room, which was entirely empty; he was neither smoking nor +drinking, but sat with his arms folded, and his head hanging down over +his breast. At the sound of my step he looked up. "Ah," said he, "I am +glad you are come: I was just thinking about you." "Thank you," said I; +"it was very kind of you, especially at a time like this, when your mind +must be full of your good fortune. Allow me to congratulate you on the +sums of money you won by the main of cocks at ---. I hope you brought it +all safe home." "Safe home," said the landlord; "I brought myself safe +home, and that was all; came home without a shilling, regularly done, +cleaned out." "I am sorry for that," said I; "but after you had won the +money, you ought to have been satisfied, and not risked it again. How +did you lose it? I hope not by the pea and thimble." "Pea and thimble," +said the landlord--"not I; those confounded cocks left me nothing to lose +by the pea and thimble." "Dear me," said I; "I thought that you knew +your birds." "Well, so I did," said the landlord, "I knew the birds to +be good birds, and so they proved, and would have won if better birds had +not been brought against them, of which I knew nothing, and so do you see +I am done, regularly done." "Well," said I, "don't be cast down; there +is one thing of which the cocks by their misfortune cannot deprive +you--your reputation; make the most of that, give up cock-fighting, and +be content with the custom of your house, of which you will always have +plenty, as long as you are the wonder and glory of the neighbourhood." + +The landlord struck the table before him violently with his fist. +"Confound my reputation!" said he. "No reputation that I have will be +satisfaction to my brewer for the seventy pounds I owe him. Reputation +won't pass for the current coin of this here realm; and let me tell you, +that if it a'n't backed by some of it, it a'n't a bit better than rotten +cabbage, as I have found. Only three weeks since I was, as I told you, +the wonder and glory of the neighbourhood; and people used to come and +look at me, and worship me; but as soon as it began to be whispered about +that I owed money to the brewer, they presently left off all that kind of +thing; and now, during the last three days, since the tale of my +misfortune with the cocks has got wind, almost everybody has left off +coming to the house, and the few who does, merely comes to insult and +flout me. It was only last night that fellow, Hunter, called me an old +fool in my own kitchen here. He wouldn't have called me a fool a +fortnight ago--'twas I called him fool then, and last night he called me +old fool; what do you think of that? the man that beat Tom of Hopton to +be called not only a fool, but an old fool; and I hadn't heart, with one +blow of this here fist into his face, to send his head ringing against +the wall; for when a man's pocket is low, do you see, his heart a'n't +much higher. But it is no use talking, something must be done. I was +thinking of you just as you came in, for you are just the person that can +help me." + +"If you mean," said I, "to ask me to lend you the money which you want, +it will be to no purpose, as I have very little of my own, just enough +for my own occasions; it is true, if you desired it, I would be your +intercessor with the person to whom you owe the money, though I should +hardly imagine that anything I could say--" "You are right there," said +the landlord; "much the brewer would care for anything you could say on +my behalf--your going would be the very way to do me up entirely. A +pretty opinion he would have of the state of my affairs if I were to send +him such a 'cessor as you; and as for your lending me money, don't think +I was ever fool enough to suppose either that you had any, or if you had +that you would be fool enough to lend me any. No, no, the coves of the +ring knows better; I have been in the ring myself, and knows what +fighting a cove is, and though I was fool enough to back those birds, I +was never quite fool enough to lend anybody money. What I am about to +propose is something very different from going to my landlord, or lending +any capital; something which, though it will put money into my pocket, +will likewise put something handsome into your own. I want to get up a +fight in this here neighbourhood, which would be sure to bring plenty of +people to my house, for a week before and after it takes place; and as +people can't come without drinking, I think I could, during one +fortnight, get off for the brewer all the sour and unsaleable liquids he +now has, which people wouldn't drink at any other time, and by that +means, do you see, liquidate my debt; then, by means of betting, making +first all right, do you see, I have no doubt that I could put something +handsome into my pocket and yours, for I should wish you to be the +fighting man, as I think I can depend upon you." "You really must excuse +me," said I, "I have no wish to figure as a pugilist, besides there is +such a difference in our ages; you may be the stronger man of the two, +and perhaps the hardest hitter, but I am in much better condition, am +more active on my legs, so that I am almost sure I should have the +advantage, for, as you very properly observed, 'Youth will be served.'" +"Oh, I didn't mean to fight," said the landlord. "I think I could beat +you if I were to train a little; but in the fight I propose I looks more +to the main chance than anything else. I question whether half so many +people could be brought together if you were to fight with me as the +person I have in view, or whether there would be half such opportunities +for betting; for I am a man, do you see; the person I wants you to fight +with is not a man, but the young woman you keeps company with." + +"The young woman I keep company with," said I; "pray what do you mean?" + +"We will go into the bar, and have something," said the landlord, getting +up. "My niece is out, and there is no one in the house, so we can talk +the matter over quietly." Thereupon I followed him into the bar, where, +having drawn me a jug of ale, helped himself as usual to a glass of +sherry, and lighted a cigar, he proceeded to explain himself further. +"What I wants is to get up a fight between a man and a woman; there never +has yet been such a thing in the ring, and the mere noise of the matter +would bring thousands of people together, quite enough to drink out, for +the thing should be close to my house, all the brewer's stock of liquids, +both good and bad." "But," said I, "you were the other day boasting of +the respectability of your house; do you think that a fight between a man +and a woman close to your establishment would add to its respectability?" +"Confound the respectability of my house," said the landlord, "will the +respectability of my house pay the brewer, or keep the roof over my head? +No, no! when respectability won't keep a man, do you see, the best thing +is to let it go and wander. Only let me have my own way, and both the +brewer, myself, and every one of us, will be satisfied. And then the +betting --what a deal we may make by the betting--and that we shall have +all to ourselves, you, I, and the young woman; the brewer will have no +hand in that. I can manage to raise ten pounds, and if by flashing that +about, I don't manage to make a hundred, call me a horse." "But, +suppose," said I, "the party should lose, on whom you sport your money, +even as the birds did?" "We must first make all right," said the +landlord, "as I told you before; the birds were irrational beings, and +therefore couldn't come to an understanding with the others, as you and +the young woman can. The birds fought fair; but I intend you and the +young woman should fight cross." "What do you mean by cross?" said I. +"Come, come," said the landlord, "don't attempt to gammon me; you in the +ring, and pretend not to know what fighting cross is! That won't do, my +fine fellow; but as no one is near us, I will speak out. I intend that +you and the young woman should understand one another and agree +beforehand which should be beat; and if you take my advice you will +determine between you that the young woman shall be beat, as I am sure +that the odds will run high upon her, her character as a fist-woman being +spread far and wide, so that all the flats who think it will be all +right, will back her, as I myself would, if I thought it would be a fair +thing." "Then," said I, "you would not have us fight fair?" "By no +means," said the landlord, "because why? I conceives that a cross is a +certainty to those who are in it, whereas by the fair thing one may lose +all he has." "But," said I, "you said the other day that you liked the +fair thing." "That was by way of gammon," said the landlord, "just, do +you see, as a Parliament cove might say, speechifying from a barrel to a +set of flats, whom he means to sell. Come, what do you think of the +plan?" "It's a very ingenious one," said I. "A'n't it?" said the +landlord. "The folks in this neighbourhood are beginning to call me old +fool, but if they don't call me something else, when they sees me friends +with the brewer, and money in my pocket, my name is not Catchpole. Come, +drink your ale, and go home to the young gentlewoman." + +"I am going," said I, rising from my seat, after finishing the remainder +of the ale. + +"Do you think she'll have any objection?" said the landlord. + +"To do what?" said I. + +"Why, to fight cross." + +"Yes, I do," said I. + +"But you will do your best to persuade her?" + +"No, I will not," said I. + +"Are you fool enough to wish to fight fair?" + +"No," said I, "I am wise enough to wish not to fight at all." + +"And how's my brewer to be paid?" said the landlord. + +"I really don't know," said I. + +"I'll change my religion," said the landlord. + + + + +CHAPTER XII.--ANOTHER VISIT FROM THE MAN IN BLACK: HIS ESTIMATE OF +MEZZOFANTE. + + +One evening Belle and myself received another visit from the man in +black. After a little conversation of not much importance, I asked him +whether he would not take some refreshment, assuring him that I was now +in possession of some very excellent Hollands which, with a glass, a jug +of water, and a lump of sugar, were heartily at his service; he accepted +my offer, and Belle going with a jug to the spring, from which she was in +the habit of procuring water for tea, speedily returned with it full of +the clear, delicious water of which I have already spoken. Having placed +the jug by the side of the man in black, she brought him a glass and +spoon, and a teacup, the latter containing various lumps of snowy-white +sugar: in the meantime I had produced a bottle of the stronger liquid. +The man in black helped himself to some water, and likewise to some +Hollands, the proportion of water being about two-thirds; then adding a +lump of sugar, he stirred the whole up, tasted it, and said that it was +good. + +"This is one of the good things of life," he added, after a short pause. + +"What are the others?" I demanded. + +"There is Malvoisia sack," said the man in black, "and partridge, and +beccafico." + +"And what do you say to high mass?" said I. + +"High mass!" said the man in black; "however," he continued, after a +pause, "I will be frank with you; I came to be so; I may have heard high +mass on a time, and said it too; but as for any predilection for it, I +assure you I have no more than for a long High Church sermon." + +"You speak a la Margutte?" said I. + +"Margutte!" said the man in black, musingly. "Margutte?" + +"You have read Pulci, I suppose?" said I. + +"Yes, yes," said the man in black, laughing; "I remember." + +"He might be rendered into English," said I, "something in this style:-- + + "'To which Margutte answered with a sneer, + I like the blue no better than the black, + My faith consists alone in savoury cheer, + In roasted capons, and in potent sack; + But, above all, in famous gin and clear, + Which often lays the Briton on his back, + With lump of sugar, and with lymph from well, + I drink it, and defy the fiends of hell.'" + +"He! he! he!" said the man in black; "that is more than Mezzofante could +have done for a stanza of Byron." + +"A clever man," said I. + +"Who?" said the man in black. + +"Mezzofante di Bologna." + +"He! he! he!" said the man in black; "now I know that you are not a +Gypsy, at least a soothsayer; no soothsayer would have said that--" + +"Why," said I, "does he not understand five-and-twenty tongues?" + +"O yes," said the man in black; "and five-and-twenty added to them; +but--he! he! it was principally from him who is certainly the Prince of +Philologists that I formed my opinion of the sect." + +"You ought to speak of him with more respect," said I; "I have heard say +that he has done good service to your see." + +"O yes," said the man in black; "he has done good service to our see, +that is, in his way; when the neophytes of the propaganda are to be +examined in the several tongues in which they are destined to preach, he +is appointed to question them, the questions being first written down for +him, or else, he! he! he! Of course you know Napoleon's estimate of +Mezzofante; he sent for the linguist from motives of curiosity, and after +some discourse with him, told him that he might depart; then turning to +some of his generals, he observed, 'Nous avons eu ici un exemple qu'un +homme peut avoir beaucoup de paroles avec bien peu d'esprit.'" + +"You are ungrateful to him," said I; "well, perhaps, when he is dead and +gone you will do him justice." + +"True," said the man in black; "when he is dead and gone, we intend to +erect him a statue of wood, on the left-hand side of the door of the +Vatican library." + +"Of wood?" said I. + +"He was the son of a carpenter, you know," said the man in black; "the +figure will be of wood for no other reason, I assure you; he! he!" + +"You should place another statue on the right." + +"Perhaps we shall," said the man in black; "but we know of no one amongst +the philologists of Italy, nor, indeed, of the other countries, inhabited +by the faithful worthy, to sit parallel in effigy with our illustrissimo; +when, indeed, we have conquered those regions of the perfidious by +bringing the inhabitants thereof to the true faith, I have no doubt that +we shall be able to select one worthy to bear him company, one whose +statue shall be placed on the right hand of the library, in testimony of +our joy at his conversion; for, as you know, 'There is more joy,' etc." + +"Wood?" said I. + +"I hope not," said the man in black; "no, if I be consulted as to the +material for the statue, I should strongly recommend bronze." + +And when the man in black had said this, he emptied his second tumbler of +its contents, and prepared himself another. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII.--THE MAN IN BLACK DISCUSSES THE FOIBLES OF THE ENGLISH--HIS +SCHEMES FOR WINNING OVER THE ARISTOCRACY, THE MIDDLE CLASS, AND THE +RABBLE--HORSEFLESH AND BITTER ALE. + + +"So you hope to bring these regions again beneath the banner of the Roman +see?" said I; after the man in black had prepared the beverage, and +tasted it. + +"Hope," said the man in black; "how can we fail? Is not the Church of +these regions going to lose its prerogative?" + +"Its prerogative?" + +"Yes; those who should be the guardians of the religion of England are +about to grant Papists emancipation and to remove the disabilities from +Dissenters, which will allow the Holy Father to play his own game in +England." + +On my inquiring how the Holy Father intended to play his game, the man in +black gave me to understand that he intended for the present to cover the +land with temples, in which the religion of Protestants would be +continually scoffed at and reviled. + +On my observing that such behaviour would savour strongly of ingratitude, +the man in black gave me to understand that if I entertained the idea +that the See of Rome was ever influenced in its actions by any feeling of +gratitude I was much mistaken, assuring me that if the See of Rome in any +encounter should chance to be disarmed, and its adversary, from a feeling +of magnanimity, should restore the sword which had been knocked out of +its hand, the See of Rome always endeavoured on the first opportunity to +plunge the said sword into its adversary's bosom,--conduct which the man +in black seemed to think was very wise, and which he assured me had +already enabled it to get rid of a great many troublesome adversaries, +and would, he had no doubt, enable it to get rid of a great many more. + +On my attempting to argue against the propriety of such behaviour, the +man in black cut the matter short, by saying, that if one party was a +fool he saw no reason why the other should imitate it in its folly. + +After musing a little while I told him that emancipation had not yet +passed through the legislature, and that perhaps it never would, +reminding him that there was often many a slip between the cup and the +lip; to which observation the man in black agreed, assuring me, however, +that there was no doubt that emancipation would be carried, inasmuch as +there was a very loud cry at present in the land; a cry of "tolerance," +which had almost frightened the Government out of its wits; who, to get +rid of the cry, was going to grant all that was asked in the way of +toleration, instead of telling the people to "Hold their nonsense," and +cutting them down, provided they continued bawling longer. + +I questioned the man in black with respect to the origin of this cry; but +he said to trace it to its origin would require a long history; that, at +any rate, such a cry was in existence, the chief raisers of it being +certain of the nobility, called Whigs, who hoped by means of it to get +into power, and to turn out certain ancient adversaries of theirs called +Tories, who were for letting things remain _in statu quo_; that these +Whigs were backed by a party amongst the people called Radicals, a +specimen of whom I had seen in the public-house; a set of fellows who +were always in the habit of bawling against those in place; "and so," he +added, "by means of these parties, and the hubbub which the Papists and +other smaller sects are making, a general emancipation will be carried, +and the Church of England humbled, which is the principal thing which the +See of Rome cares for." {153} + +On my telling the man in black that I believed that even among the high +dignitaries of the English Church there were many who wished to grant +perfect freedom to religions of all descriptions, he said: "He was aware +that such was the fact, and that such a wish was anything but wise, +inasmuch as if they had any regard for the religion they professed, they +ought to stand by it through thick and thin, proclaiming it to be the +only true one, and denouncing all others, in an alliterative style, as +dangerous and damnable; whereas, by their present conduct, they are +bringing their religion into contempt with the people at large, who would +never continue long attached to a Church, the ministers of which did not +stand up for it, and likewise cause their own brethren, who had a clearer +notion of things, to be ashamed of belonging to it. I speak advisedly," +said he, in continuation; "there is one Platitude." + +"And I hope there is only one," said I; "you surely would not adduce the +likes and dislikes of that poor silly fellow as the criterions of the +opinions of any party?" + +"You know him," said the man in black; "nay, I heard you mention him in +the public-house; the fellow is not very wise, I admit, but he has sense +enough to know, that unless a Church can make people hold their tongues +when it thinks fit, it is scarcely deserving the name of a Church; no, I +think that the fellow is not such a very bad stick, and that upon the +whole he is, or rather was, an advantageous specimen of the High Church +English clergy, who, for the most part, so far from troubling their heads +about persecuting people, only think of securing tithes, eating their +heavy dinners, puffing out their cheeks with importance on country +justice benches, and occasionally exhibiting their conceited wives, +hoyden daughters, and gawky sons at country balls, whereas Platitude--" + +"Stop," said I; "you said in the public-house that the Church of England +was a persecuting Church, and here in the dingle you have confessed that +one section of it is willing to grant perfect freedom to the exercise of +all religions, and the other only thinks of leading an easy life." + +"Saying a thing in the public-house is a widely different thing from +saying it in the dingle," said the man in black; "had the Church of +England been a persecuting Church, it would not stand in the position in +which it stands at present; it might, with its opportunities, have spread +itself over the greater part of the world. I was about to observe, that +instead of practising the indolent habits of his High Church brethren, +Platitude would be working for his money, preaching the proper use of +fire and faggot, or rather of the halter and the whipping-post, +encouraging mobs to attack the houses of Dissenters, employing spies to +collect the scandal of neighbourhoods, in order that he might use it for +sacerdotal purposes, and, in fact, endeavouring to turn an English parish +into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of France.' + +"He tried that game," said I, "and the parish said--'Pooh, pooh,' and, +for the most part, went over to the Dissenters." + +"Very true," said the man in black, taking a sip at his glass, "but why +were the Dissenters allowed to preach? why were they not beaten on the +lips till they spat out blood, with a dislodged tooth or two? Why, but +because the authority of the Church of England has, by its own fault, +become so circumscribed that Mr. Platitude was not able to send a host of +beadles and sbirri to their chapel to bring them to reason, on which +account Mr. Platitude is very properly ashamed of his Church, and is +thinking of uniting himself with one which possesses more vigour and +authority." + +"It may have vigour and authority," said I, "in foreign lands, but in +these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by. It is +at present almost below contempt, and is obliged to sue for grace _in +forma pauperis_." + +"Very true," said the man in black, "but let it once obtain emancipation, +and it will cast its slough, put on its fine clothes, and make converts +by thousands. 'What a fine Church,' they'll say; 'with what authority it +speaks--no doubts, no hesitation, no sticking at trifles.' What a +contrast to the sleepy English Church! they'll go over to it by millions, +till it preponderates here over every other, when it will of course be +voted the dominant one; and then--and then--" and here the man in black +drank a considerable quantity of gin and water. + +"What then?" said I. + +"What then?" said the man in black, "why, she will be true to herself. +Let Dissenters, whether they be Church of England, as perhaps they may +still call themselves, Methodist, or Presbyterian, presume to grumble, +and there shall be bruising of lips in pulpits, tying up to +whipping-posts, cutting off ears and noses--he! he! the farce of King Log +has been acted long enough; the time for Queen Stork's tragedy is drawing +nigh;" and the man in black sipped his gin and water in a very exulting +manner. + +"And this is the Church which, according to your assertion in the public- +house, never persecutes?" + +"I have already given you an answer," said the man in black, "with +respect to the matter of the public-house; it is one of the happy +privileges of those who belong to my Church to deny in the public-house +what they admit in the dingle; {156} we have high warranty for such +double speaking. Did not the foundation-stone of our Church, St. Peter, +deny in the public house what he had previously professed in the valley?" + +"And do you think," said I, "that the people of England, who have shown +aversion to anything in the shape of intolerance, will permit such +barbarities as you have described?" + +"Let them become Papists," said the man in black; "only let the majority +become Papists, and you will see." + +"They will never become so," said I; "the good sense of the people of +England will never permit them to commit such an absurdity." + +"The good sense of the people of England?" said the man in black, filling +himself another glass. + +"Yes," said I; "the good sense of not only the upper, but the middle and +lower classes." + +"And of what description of people are the upper class?" said the man in +black, putting a lump of sugar into his gin and water. + +"Very fine people," said I, "monstrously fine people; so, at least, they +are generally believed to be." + +"He! he!" said the man in black; "only those think them so who don't know +them. The male part of the upper class are in youth a set of heartless +profligates; in old age, a parcel of poor, shaking, nervous paillards. +The female part, worthy to be the sisters and wives of such wretches, +unmarried, full of cold vice, kept under by vanity and ambition, but +which, after marriage, they seek not to restrain; in old age, abandoned +to vapours and horrors, do you think that such beings will afford any +obstacle to the progress of the Church in these regions, as soon as her +movements are unfettered?" + +"I cannot give an opinion; I know nothing of them, except from a +distance. But what think you of the middle classes?" + +"Their chief characteristic," said the man in black, "is a rage for +grandeur and gentility; and that same rage makes us quite sure of them in +the long run. Every thing that's lofty meets their unqualified +approbation; whilst everything humble, or, as they call it, 'low,' is +scouted by them. They begin to have a vague idea that the religion which +they have hitherto professed is low; at any rate that it is not the +religion of the mighty ones of the earth, of the great kings and emperors +whose shoes they have a vast inclination to kiss, nor was used by the +grand personages of whom they have read in their novels and romances, +their Ivanhoes, their Marmions, and their Ladies of the Lake." + +"Do you think that the writings of Scott have had any influence in +modifying their religious opinions?" + +"Most certainly I do," said the man in black. "The writings of that man +have made them greater fools than they were before. All their +conversation now is about gallant knights, princesses, and cavaliers, +with which his pages are stuffed--all of whom were Papists, or very high +Church, which is nearly the same thing; and they are beginning to think +that the religion of such nice sweet-scented gentry must be something +very superfine. Why, I know at Birmingham the daughter of an ironmonger, +who screeches to the piano the Lady of the Lake's hymn to the Virgin +Mary, always weeps when Mary Queen of Scots is mentioned, and fasts on +the anniversary of the death of that very wise martyr, Charles the First. +Why, I would engage to convert such an idiot to popery in a week, were it +worth my trouble. O Cavaliere Gualtiero, avete fatto molto in favore +della Santa Sede!" + +"If he has," said I, "he has done it unwittingly; I never heard before +that he was a favourer of the popish delusion." + +"Only in theory," said the man in black. "Trust any of the clan +MacSycophant for interfering openly and boldly in favour of any cause on +which the sun does not shine benignantly. Popery is at present, as you +say, suing for grace in these regions _in forma pauperis_; but let +royalty once take it up, let old gouty George once patronize it, and I +would consent to drink puddle-water, if the very next time the canny Scot +was admitted to the royal symposium he did not say, 'By my faith, yere +Majesty, I have always thought, at the bottom of my heart, that popery, +as ill scrapit tongues ca' it, was a very grand religion; I shall be +proud to follow your Majesty's example in adopting it.'" + +"I doubt not," said I, "that both gouty George and his devoted servant +will be mouldering in their tombs long before Royalty in England thinks +about adopting popery." + +"We can wait," said the man in black; "in these days of rampant +gentility, there will be no want of Kings nor of Scots about them." + +"But not Walters," said I. {159} + +"Our work has been already tolerably well done by one," said the man in +black; "but if we wanted literature we should never lack in these regions +hosts of literary men of some kind or other to eulogise us, provided our +religion were in the fashion, and our popish nobles choose, and they +always do our bidding, to admit the canaille to their tables, their +kitchen tables. As for literature in general," said he, "the Santa Sede +is not particularly partial to it, it may be employed both ways. In +Italy, in particular, it has discovered that literary men are not always +disposed to be lick-spittles." + +"For example, Dante," said I. + +"Yes," said the man in black. "A dangerous personage; that poem of his +cuts both ways; and then there was Pulci, that Morgante of his cuts both +ways, or rather one way, and that sheer against us; and then there was +Aretino, who dealt so hard with the poveri frati; all writers, at least +Italian ones, are not lick spittles. And then in Spain,--'tis true, Lope +de Vega and Calderon were most inordinate lick-spittles; the 'Principe +Constante' of the last is a curiosity in its way; and then the 'Mary +Stuart' of Lope; I think I shall recommend the perusal of that work to +the Birmingham ironmonger's daughter; she has been lately thinking of +adding 'a slight knowledge of the magneeficent language of the Peninsula' +to the rest of her accomplishments, he! he! he! but then there was +Cervantes, starving, but straight; he deals us some hard knocks in that +second part of his Quixote; then there were some of the writers of the +picaresque novels. No; all literary men are not lick-spittles, whether +in Italy or Spain, or, indeed, upon the Continent; it is only in England +that all--" + +"Come," said I, "mind what you are about to say of English literary men." + +"Why should I mind?" said the man in black, "there are no literary men +here. I have heard of literary men living in garrets, but not in +dingles, whatever philologists may do; I may, therefore, speak out +freely. It is only in England that literary men are invariably +lick-spittles; on which account, perhaps, they are so despised, even by +those who benefit by their dirty services. Look at your fashionable +novel writers, he! he! and above all at your newspaper editors, ho! ho!" + +"You will, of course, except the editors of the --- from your censure of +the last class?" said I. + +"Them!" said the man in black; "why, they might serve as models in the +dirty trade to all the rest who practise it. See how they bepraise their +patrons, the grand Whig nobility, who hope, by raising the cry of +liberalism, and by putting themselves at the head of the populace, to +come into power shortly. I don't wish to be hard, at present, upon those +Whigs," he continued, "for they are playing our game; but a time will +come when, not wanting them, we will kick them to a considerable +distance: and then, when toleration is no longer the cry, and the Whigs +are no longer backed by the populace, see whether the editors of the --- +will stand by them; they will prove themselves as expert lick-spittles of +despotism as of liberalism. Don't think they will always bespatter the +Tories and Austria." + +"Well," said I, "I am sorry to find that you entertain so low an opinion +of the spirit of English literary men; we will now return, if you please, +to the subject of the middle classes; I think your strictures upon them +in general are rather too sweeping--they are not altogether the foolish +people you have described. Look, for example, at that very powerful and +numerous body the Dissenters, the descendants of those sturdy Patriots +who hurled Charles the Simple from his throne." + +"There are some sturdy fellows amongst them, I do not deny," said the man +in black, "especially amongst the preachers, clever withal--two or three +of that class nearly drove Mr. Platitude mad, as perhaps you are aware, +but they are not very numerous; and the old sturdy sort of preachers are +fast dropping off, and, as we observe with pleasure, are generally +succeeded by frothy coxcombs, whom it would not be very difficult to gain +over. But what we most rely upon as an instrument to bring the +Dissenters over to us is the mania for gentility, which amongst them has +of late become as great, and more ridiculous, than amongst the middle +classes belonging to the Church of England. All the plain and simple +fashions of their forefathers they are either about to abandon, or have +already done so. Look at the most part of their chapels, no longer +modest brick edifices, situated in quiet and retired streets, but lunatic- +looking erections, in what the simpletons call the modern Gothic taste, +of Portland-stone, with a cross upon the top, and the site generally the +most conspicuous that can be found; and look at the manner in which they +educate their children, I mean those that are wealthy. They do not even +wish them to be Dissenters, 'the sweet dears shall enjoy the advantages +of good society, of which their parents were debarred.' So the girls are +sent to tip-top boarding schools, where amongst other trash they read +'Rokeby,' and are taught to sing snatches from that high-flying ditty the +'Cavalier--' + + 'Would you match the base Skippon, and Massey, and Brown, + With the barons of England, who fight for the crown?'-- + +he! he! their own names. Whilst the lads are sent to those hot-beds of +pride and folly--colleges, whence they return with a greater contempt for +everything 'low,' and especially for their own pedigree, than they went +with. I tell you, friend, the children of Dissenters, if not their +parents, are going over to the Church, as you call it, and the Church is +going over to Rome." + +"I do not see the justice of that latter assertion at all," said I; "some +of the Dissenters' children may be coming over to the Church of England, +and yet the Church of England be very far from going over to Rome." + +"In the high road for it, I assure you," said the man in black, "part of +it is going to abandon, the rest to lose their prerogative, and when a +church no longer retains its prerogative, it speedily loses its own +respect, and that of others." + +"Well," said I, "if the higher classes have all the vices and follies +which you represent, on which point I can say nothing, as I have never +mixed with them; and even supposing the middle classes are the foolish +beings you would fain make them, and which I do not believe them as a +body to be, you would still find some resistance amongst the lower +classes. I have a considerable respect for their good sense and +independence of character; but pray let me hear your opinion of them." + +"As for the lower classes," said the man in black, "I believe them to be +the most brutal wretches in the world, the most addicted to foul feeding, +foul language, and foul vices of every kind; wretches who have neither +love for country, religion, nor anything save their own vile selves. You +surely do not think that they would oppose a change of religion? why, +there is not one of them but would hurrah for the Pope, or Mahomet, for +the sake of a hearty gorge and a drunken bout, like those which they are +treated with at election contests." + +"Has your church any followers amongst them?" said I. + +"Wherever there happens to be a Romish family of considerable +possessions," said the man in black, "our church is sure to have +followers of the lower class, who have come over in the hope of getting +something in the shape of dole or donation. As, however, the Romish is +not yet the dominant religion, and the clergy of the English +establishment have some patronage to bestow, the churches are not quite +deserted by the lower classes; yet were the Romish to become the +established religion, they would, to a certainty, all go over to it; you +can scarcely imagine what a self-interested set they are--for example, +the landlord of that public-house in which I first met you, having lost a +sum of money upon a cock-fight, and his affairs in consequence being in a +bad condition, is on the eve of coming over to us, in the hope that two +old Popish females of property, whom I confess, will advance him a sum of +money to set him up again in the world." + +"And what could have put such an idea into the poor fellow's head?" said +I. + +"Oh! he and I have had some conversation upon the state of his affairs," +said the man in black; "I think he might make a rather useful convert in +these parts, provided things take a certain turn, as they doubtless will. +It is no bad thing to have a fighting fellow, who keeps a public-house, +belonging to one's religion. He has been occasionally employed as a +bully at elections by the Tory party, and he may serve us in the same +capacity. The fellow comes of a good stock; I heard him say that his +father headed the High Church mob, who sacked and burnt Priestley's house +at Birmingham towards the end of the last century." + +"A disgraceful affair," said I. + +"What do you mean by a disgraceful affair?" said the man in black. "I +assure you that nothing has occurred for the last fifty years which has +given the High Church party so much credit in the eyes of Rome as that; +we did not imagine that the fellows had so much energy. Had they +followed up that affair, by twenty others of a similar kind, they would +by this time have had everything in their own power; but they did not, +and, as a necessary consequence, they are reduced to almost nothing." + +"I suppose," said I, "that your church would have acted very differently +in its place." + +"It has always done so," said the man in black, coolly sipping. "Our +church has always armed the brute-population against the genius and +intellect of a country, provided that same intellect and genius were not +willing to become its instruments and eulogists; and provided we once +obtain a firm hold here again, we would not fail to do so. We would +occasionally stuff the beastly rabble with horseflesh and bitter ale, and +then halloo them on against all those who were obnoxious to us." + +"Horseflesh and bitter ale!" I replied. + +"Yes," said the man in black; "horseflesh and bitter ale, the favourite +delicacies of their Saxon ancestors, who were always ready to do our +bidding after a liberal allowance of such cheer. There is a tradition in +our church, that before the rabble of Penda, at the instigation of +Austin, attacked and massacred the presbyterian monks of Bangor, they had +been allowed a good gorge of horseflesh and bitter ale. He! he! he!" +continued the man in black, "what a fine spectacle to see such a mob, +headed by a fellow like our friend, the landlord, sack the house of +another Priestley." + +"Then you don't deny that we have had a Priestley," said I, "and admit +the possibility of our having another? You were lately observing that +all English literary men were sycophants?" + +"Lick-spittles," said the man in black; "yes, I admit that you have had a +Priestley, but he was a Dissenter of the old sort; you have had him, and +perhaps may have another." + +"Perhaps we may," said I. "But with respect to the lower classes, have +you mixed much with them?" + +"I have mixed with all classes," said the man in black, "and with the +lower not less than the upper and middle, they are much as I have +described them; and of the three, the lower are the worst. I never knew +one of them that possessed the slightest principle . . . + +"I ought to know something of the English people," he continued, after a +moment's pause; "I have been many years amongst them labouring in the +cause of the Church." + +"Your See must have had great confidence in your powers, when it selected +you to labour for it in these parts?" said I. + +"They chose me," said the man in black, "principally because, being of +British extraction and education, I could speak the English language and +bear a glass of something strong. It is the opinion of my See, that it +would hardly do to send a missionary into a country like this who is not +well versed in English--a country where they think, so far from +understanding any language besides his own, scarcely one individual in +ten speaks his own intelligibly; or an ascetic person where, as they say, +high and low, male and female, are, at some period of their lives, fond +of a renovating glass, as it is styled, in other words, of tippling." + +"Your See appears to entertain a very strange opinion of the English," +said I. + +"Not altogether an unjust one," said the man in black, lifting the glass +to his mouth. + +"Well," said I, "it is certainly very kind on its part to wish to bring +back such a set of beings beneath its wing." + +"Why, as to the kindness of my See," said the man in black, "I have not +much to say; my See has generally in what it does a tolerably good +motive; these heretics possess in plenty what my See has a great +hankering for, and can turn to a good account--money!" + +"The founder of the Christian religion cared nothing for money," said I. + +"What have we to do with what the founder of the Christian religion cared +for?" said the man in black; "how could our temples be built, and our +priests supported without money? But you are unwise to reproach us with +a desire of obtaining money; you forget that your own church, if the +Church of England be your own church, as I suppose it is, from the +willingness which you displayed in the public-house to fight for it, is +equally avaricious; look at your greedy Bishops, and your corpulent +Rectors! do they imitate Christ in his disregard for money? Go to! you +might as well tell me that they imitate Christ in his meekness and +humility." + +"Well," said I, "whatever their faults may be, you can't say that they go +to Rome for money." + +The man in black made no direct answer, but appeared by the motion of his +lips to be repeating something to himself. + +"I see your glass is again empty," said I; "perhaps you will replenish +it." + +The man in black arose from his seat, adjusted his habiliments which were +rather in disorder, and placed upon his head his hat, which he had laid +aside, then, looking at me, who was still lying upon the ground, he +said--"I might, perhaps, take another glass, though I believe I have had +quite as much as I can well bear; but I do not wish to hear you utter +anything more this evening after that last observation of yours--it is +quite original; I will meditate upon it on my pillow this night after +having said an ave and a pater--go to Rome for money!" He then made +Belle a low bow, slightly motioned to me with his hand, as if bidding +farewell, and then left the dingle with rather uneven steps. + +"Go to Rome for money," I heard him say as he ascended the winding path, +"he! he! he! Go to Rome for money, ho! ho! ho!" + + + + +CHAPTER XIV.--LIFE IN THE DINGLE--ISOPEL IS INOCULATED WITH TONGUES--A +THUNDERSTORM. + + +Nearly three days elapsed without anything of particular moment +occurring. Belle drove the little cart containing her merchandise about +the neighbourhood, returning to the dingle towards the evening. As for +myself, I kept within my wooded retreat, working during the periods of +her absence leisurely at my forge. Having observed that the quadruped +which my companion drove was as much in need of shoes as my own had been +some time previously, I had determined to provide it with a set, and +during the aforesaid periods occupied myself in preparing them. As I was +employed three mornings and afternoons about them, I am sure that the +reader will agree that I worked leisurely, or rather lazily. On the +third day Belle arrived somewhat later than usual; I was lying on my back +at the bottom of the dingle, employed in tossing up the shoes, which I +had produced, and catching them as they fell, some being always in the +air mounting or descending, somewhat after the fashion of the waters of a +fountain. + +"Why have you been absent so long?" said I to Belle; "it must be long +past four by the day." + +"I have been almost killed by the heat," said Belle; "I was never out in +a more sultry day--the poor donkey, too, could scarcely move along." + +"He shall have fresh shoes," said I, continuing my exercise: "here they +are, quite ready; to-morrow I will tack them on." + +"And why are you playing with them in that manner?" said Belle. + +"Partly in triumph at having made them, and partly to show that I can do +something besides making them; it is not every one, who, after having +made a set of horse-shoes, can keep them going up and down in the air, +without letting one fall." + +"One has now fallen on your chin," said Belle. + +"And another on my cheek," said I, getting up; "it is time to discontinue +the game, for the last shoe drew blood." + +Belle went to her own little encampment; and as for myself, after having +flung the donkey's shoes into my tent, I put some fresh wood on the fire, +which was nearly out, and hung the kettle over it. I then issued forth +from the dingle, and strolled round the wood that surrounded it; for a +long time I was busied in meditation, looking at the ground, striking +with my foot, half unconsciously, the tufts of grass and thistles that I +met in my way. After some time, I lifted up my eyes to the sky, at first +vacantly, and then with more attention, turning my head in all directions +for a minute or two; after which I returned to the dingle. Isopel was +seated near the fire, over which the kettle was now hung; she had changed +her dress--no signs of the dust and fatigue of her late excursion +remained; she had just added to the fire a small billet of wood, two or +three of which I had left beside it; the fire cracked, and a sweet odour +filled the dingle. + +"I am fond of sitting by a wood fire," said Belle, "when abroad, whether +it be hot or cold; I love to see the flames dart out of the wood; but +what kind is this, and where did you get it?" + +"It is ash," said I, "green ash. Somewhat less than a week ago, whilst I +was wandering along the road by the side of a wood, I came to a place +where some peasants were engaged in cutting up and clearing away a +confused mass of fallen timber: a mighty-aged oak had given way the night +before, and in its fall had shivered some smaller trees; the upper part +of the oak, and the fragments of the rest, lay across the road. I +purchased, for a trifle, a bundle or two, and the wood on the fire is +part of it--ash, green ash." + +"That makes good the old rhyme," said Belle, "which I have heard sung by +the old women in the great house:-- + + 'Ash, when green, + Is fire for a queen.'" + +"And on fairer form of queen, ash fire never shone," said I, "than on +thine, O beauteous queen of the dingle." + +"I am half disposed to be angry with you, young man," said Belle. + +"And why not entirely?" said I. + +Belle made no reply. + +"Shall I tell you?" I demanded. "You had no objection to the first part +of the speech, but you did not like being called queen of the dingle. +Well, if I had the power, I would make you queen of something better than +the dingle--Queen of China. Come, let us have tea." + +"Something less would content me," said Belle, sighing as she rose to +prepare our evening meal. + +So we took tea together, Belle and I. + +"How delicious tea is after a hot summer's day, and a long walk!" said +she. + +"I daresay it is most refreshing then," said I; "but I have heard people +say that they most enjoy it on a cold winter's night, when the kettle is +hissing on the fire, and their children playing on the hearth." + +Belle sighed. "Where does tea come from?" she presently demanded. + +"From China," said I; "I just now mentioned it, and the mention of it put +me in mind of tea." + +"What kind of country is China?" + +"I know very little about it; all I know is, that it is a very large +country far to the East, but scarcely large enough to contain its +inhabitants, who are so numerous, that though China does not cover one- +ninth part of the world, its inhabitants amount to one-third of the +population of the world." + +"And do they talk as we do?" + +"O no! I know nothing of their language; but I have heard that it is +quite different from all others, and so difficult that none but the +cleverest people amongst foreigners can master it, on which account, +perhaps, only the French pretend to know anything about it." + +"Are the French so very clever, then?" said Belle. + +"They say there are no people like them, at least in Europe. But talking +of Chinese reminds me that I have not for some time past given you a +lesson in Armenian. The word for tea in Armenian is--by-the-bye, what is +the Armenian word for tea?" + +"That's your affair, not mine," said Belle; "it seems hard that the +master should ask the scholar." + +"Well," said I, "whatever the word may be in Armenian, it is a noun; and +as we have never yet declined an Armenian noun together, we may as well +take this opportunity of declining one. Belle, there are ten declensions +in Armenian!" + +"What's a declension?" + +"The way of declining a noun." + +"Then, in the civilest way imaginable, I decline the noun. Is that a +declension?" + +"You should never play on words; to do so is low, vulgar, smelling of the +pothouse, the workhouse. Belle, I insist on your declining an Armenian +noun." + +"I have done so already," said Belle. + +"If you go on in this way," said I, "I shall decline taking any more tea +with you. Will you decline an Armenian noun?" + +"I don't like the language," said Belle. "If you must teach me +languages, why not teach me French or Chinese?" + +"I know nothing of Chinese; and as for French, none but a Frenchman is +clever enough to speak it--to say nothing of teaching; no, we will stick +to Armenian, unless, indeed, you would prefer Welsh!" + +"Welsh, I have heard, is vulgar," said Belle; "so, if I must learn one of +the two, I will prefer Armenian, which I never heard of till you +mentioned it to me; though of the two, I really think Welsh sounds best." + +"The Armenian noun," said I, "which I propose for your declension this +night, is Dyer, which signifieth Lord, or Master." + +"It soundeth very like tyrant," said Belle. + +"I care not what it sounds like," said I; "it is the word I chose, though +it is not of the first declension. Master, with all its variations, +being the first noun, the sound of which I would have you learn from my +lips. Come, let us begin-- + +"A master Dyer, Of a master, Dyern. Repeat--" + +"The word sounds very strange to me," said Belle. "However, to oblige +you I will do my best;" and thereupon Belle declined master in Armenian. + +"You have declined the noun very well," said I; "that is in the singular +number; we will now go to the plural." + +"What is the plural?" said Belle. + +"That which implies more than one, for example, masters; you shall now go +through masters in Armenian." + +"Never," said Belle, "never; it is bad to have one master, but more I +would never bear, whether in Armenian or English." + +"You do not understand," said I; "I merely want you to decline masters in +Armenian." + +"I do decline them; I will have nothing to do with them, nor with master +either; I was wrong to--What sound is that?" + +"I did not hear it, but I dare say it is thunder; in Armenian--" + +"Never mind what it is in Armenian; but why do you think it is thunder?" + +"Ere I returned from my stroll, I looked up into the heavens, and by +their appearance I judged that a storm was nigh at hand." + +"And why did you not tell me so?" + +"You never asked me about the state of the atmosphere, and I am not in +the habit of giving my opinion to people on any subject, unless +questioned. But, setting that aside, can you blame me for not troubling +you with forebodings about storm and tempest, which might have prevented +the pleasure you promised yourself in drinking tea, or perhaps a lesson +in Armenian, though you pretend to dislike the latter?" + +"My dislike is not pretended," said Belle; "I hate the sound of it, but I +love my tea, and it was kind of you not to wish to cast a cloud over my +little pleasures; the thunder came quite time enough to interrupt it +without being anticipated--there is another peal--I will clear away, and +see that my tent is in a condition to resist the storm, and I think you +had better bestir yourself." + +Isopel departed, and I remained seated on my stone, as nothing belonging +to myself required any particular attention. In about a quarter of an +hour she returned, and seated herself upon her stool. + +"How dark the place is become since I left you," said she; "just as if +night were just at hand." + +"Look up at the sky," said I; "and you will not wonder; it is all of a +deep olive. The wind is beginning to rise; hark how it moans among the +branches; and see how their tops are bending--it brings dust on its +wings--I felt some fall on my face; and what is this, a drop of rain?" + +"We shall have plenty anon," said Belle; "do you hear? it already begins +to hiss upon the embers; that fire of ours will soon be extinguished." + +"It is not probable that we shall want it," said I, "but we had better +seek shelter: let us go into my tent." + +"Go in," said Belle, "but you go in alone; as for me, I will seek my +own." + +"You are right," said I, "to be afraid of me; I have taught you to +decline master in Armenian." + +"You almost tempt me," said Belle, "to make you decline mistress in +English." + +"To make matters short," said I, "I decline a mistress." + +"What do you mean?" said Belle, angrily. + +"I have merely done what you wished me," said I, "and in your own style; +there is no other way of declining anything in English, for in English +there are no declensions." + +"The rain is increasing," said Belle. + +"It is so," said I; "I shall go to my tent; you may come, if you please; +I do assure you I am not afraid of you." + +"Nor I of you," said Belle; "so I will come. Why should I be afraid? I +can take my own part; that is--" + +We went into the tent and sat down, and now the rain began to pour with +vehemence. "I hope we shall not be flooded in this hollow," said I to +Belle. + +"There is no fear of that," said Belle; "the wandering people, amongst +other names, call it the dry hollow. I believe there is a passage +somewhere or other by which the wet is carried off. There must be a +cloud right above us, it is so dark. Oh! what a flash!" + +"And what a peal!" said I; "that is what the Hebrews call Koul Adonai--the +voice of the Lord. Are you afraid?" + +"No," said Belle, "I rather like to hear it." + +"You are right," said I, "I am fond of the sound of thunder myself. There +is nothing like it: Koul Adonai behadar; the voice of the Lord is a +glorious voice, as the prayer-book version hath it." + +"There is something awful in it," said Belle; "and then the lightning, +the whole dingle is now in a blaze." + +"'The voice of the Lord maketh the hinds to calve, and discovereth the +thick bushes.' As you say, there is something awful in thunder." + +"There are all kinds of noises above us," said Belle: "surely I heard the +crashing of a tree?" + +"'The voice of the Lord breaketh the cedar trees,'" said I, "but what you +hear is caused by a convulsion of the air; during a thunderstorm there +are occasionally all kinds of aerial noises. Ab Gwilym, who, next to +King David, has best described a thunderstorm, speaks of these aerial +noises in the following manner:-- + + 'Astonied now I stand at strains, + As of ten thousand clanking chains; + And once, methought, that overthrown, + The welkin's oaks came whelming down; + Upon my head upstarts my hair: + Why hunt abroad the hounds of air? + What cursed hag is screeching high, + Whilst crash goes all her crockery?' + +You would hardly believe, Belle, that though I offered at least ten +thousand lines nearly as good as those to the booksellers in London, the +simpletons were so blind to their interest as to refuse purchasing them." + +"I don't wonder at it," said Belle, "especially if such dreadful +expressions frequently occur as that towards the end; surely that was the +crash of a tree?" + +"Ah!" said I, "there falls the cedar tree--I mean the sallow; one of the +tall trees on the outside of the dingle has been snapped short." + +"What a pity," said Belle, "that the fine old oak, which you saw the +peasants cutting up, gave way the other night, when scarcely a breath of +air was stirring: how much better to have fallen in a storm like this, +the fiercest I remember." + +"I don't think so," said I; "after braving a thousand tempests, it was +meeter for it to fall of itself than to be vanquished at last. But to +return to Ab Gwilym's poetry, he was above culling dainty words, and +spoke boldly his mind on all subjects. Enraged with the thunder for +parting him and Morfydd, he says, at the conclusion of his ode, + + 'My curse, O Thunder, cling to thee, + For parting my dear pearl and me!'" + +"You and I shall part; that is, I shall go to my tent if you persist in +repeating from him. The man must have been a savage. A poor wood-pigeon +has fallen dead." + +"Yes," said I, "there he lies just outside the tent; often have I +listened to his note when alone in this wilderness. So you do not like +Ab Gwilym; what say you to old Gothe:-- + + 'Mist shrouds the night, and rack; + Hear, in the woods, what an awful crack! + Wildly the owls are flitting, + Hark to the pillars splitting + Of palaces verdant ever, + The branches quiver and sever, + The mighty stems are creaking, + The poor roots breaking and shrieking, + In wild mixt ruin down dashing, + O'er one another they're crashing; + Whilst 'midst the rocks so hoary, + Whirlwinds hurry and worry. + Hear'st not, sister--' + +"Hark!" said Belle, "hark!" + + "'Hear'st not, sister, a chorus + Of voices?'" + +"No," said Belle, "but I hear a voice." + + + + +CHAPTER XV.--FIRST AID TO A POSTCHAISE AND A POSTILLION--MORE +HOSPITALITY. + + +I listened attentively, but I could hear nothing but the loud clashing of +branches, the pattering of rain, and the muttered growl of thunder. I +was about to tell Belle that she must have been mistaken, when I heard a +shout, indistinct, it is true, owing to the noises aforesaid, from some +part of the field above the dingle. "I will soon see what's the matter," +said I to Belle, starting up. "I will go, too," said the girl. "Stay +where you are," said I; "if I need you I will call;" and, without waiting +for an answer, I hurried to the mouth of the dingle. I was about a few +yards only from the top of the ascent, when I beheld a blaze of light, +from whence I knew not; the next moment there was a loud crash, and I +appeared involved in a cloud of sulphurous smoke. "Lord have mercy upon +us," I heard a voice say, and methought I heard the plunging and +struggling of horses. I had stopped short on hearing the crash, for I +was half stunned; but I now hurried forward, and in a moment stood upon +the plain. Here I was instantly aware of the cause of the crash and the +smoke. One of those balls, generally called fire-balls, had fallen from +the clouds, and was burning on the plain at a short distance; and the +voice which I had heard, and the plunging, were as easily accounted for. +Near the left-hand corner of the grove which surrounded the dingle, and +about ten yards from the fire-ball, I perceived a chaise, with a +postillion on the box, who was making efforts, apparently useless, to +control his horses, which were kicking and plunging in the highest degree +of excitement. I instantly ran towards the chaise, in order to offer +what help was in my power. "Help me," said the poor fellow, as I drew +nigh; but before I could reach the horses, they had turned rapidly round, +one of the fore-wheels flew from its axle-tree, the chaise was overset, +and the postillion flung violently from his seat upon the field. The +horses now became more furious than before, kicking desperately, and +endeavouring to disengage themselves from the fallen chaise. As I was +hesitating whether to run to the assistance of the postillion, or +endeavour to disengage the animals, I heard the voice of Belle +exclaiming, "See to the horses, I will look after the man." She had, it +seems, been alarmed by the crash which accompanied the fire-bolt, and had +hurried up to learn the cause. I forthwith seized the horses by the +heads, and used all the means I possessed to soothe and pacify them, +employing every gentle modulation of which my voice was capable. Belle, +in the meantime, had raised up the man, who was much stunned by his fall; +but presently recovering his recollection to a certain degree, he came +limping to me holding his hand to his right thigh. "The first thing that +must now be done," said I, "is to free these horses from the traces; can +you undertake to do so?" "I think I can," said the man, looking at me +somewhat stupidly. "I will help," said Belle, and without loss of time +laid hold of one of the traces. The man, after a short pause, also set +to work, and in a few minutes the horses were extricated. "Now," said I +to the man, "what is next to be done?" "I don't know," said he; "indeed, +I scarcely know anything; I have been so frightened by this horrible +storm, and so shaken by my fall." "I think," said I, "that the storm is +passing away, so cast your fears away too; and as for your fall, you must +bear it as lightly as you can. I will tie the horses amongst those +trees, and then we will all betake us to the hollow below." "And what's +to become of my chaise?" said the postillion, looking ruefully on the +fallen vehicle. "Let us leave the chaise for the present," said I; "we +can be of no use to it." "I don't like to leave my chaise lying on the +ground in this weather," said the man, "I love my chaise, and him whom it +belongs to." "You are quite right to be fond of yourself," said I, "on +which account I advise you to seek shelter from the rain as soon as +possible." "I was not talking of myself," said the man, "but my master, +to whom the chaise belongs." "I thought you called the chaise yours," +said I. "That's my way of speaking," said the man; "but the chaise is my +master's, and a better master does not live. Don't you think we could +manage to raise up the chaise?" "And what is to become of the horses?" +said I. "I love my horses well enough," said the man; "but they will +take less harm than the chaise. We two can never lift up that chaise." +"But we three can," said Belle; "at least, I think so; and I know where +to find two poles which will assist us." "You had better go to the +tent," said I, "you will be wet through." "I care not for a little +wetting," said Belle; "moreover, I have more gowns than one--see you +after the horses." Thereupon, I led the horses past the mouth of the +dingle, to a place where a gap in the hedge afforded admission to the +copse or plantation, on the southern side. Forcing them through the gap, +I led them to a spot amidst the trees, which I deemed would afford them +the most convenient place for standing; then, darting down into the +dingle, I brought up a rope, and also the halter of my own nag, and with +these fastened them each to a separate tree in the best manner I could. +This done, I returned to the chaise and the postillion. In a minute or +two Belle arrived with two poles, which, it seems, had long been lying, +overgrown with brushwood, in a ditch or hollow behind the plantation. +With these both she and I set to work in endeavouring to raise the fallen +chaise from the ground. + +We experienced considerable difficulty in this undertaking; at length, +with the assistance of the postillion, we saw our efforts crowned with +success--the chaise was lifted up, and stood upright on three wheels. + +"We may leave it here in safety," said I, "for it will hardly move away +on three wheels, even supposing it could run by itself; I am afraid there +is work here for a wheelwright, in which case I cannot assist you; if you +were in need of a blacksmith it would be other wise." "I don't think +either the wheel or the axle is hurt," said the postillion, who had been +handling both; "it is only the linch-pin having dropped out that caused +the wheel to fly off; if I could but find the linch-pin! though, perhaps, +it fell out a mile away." "Very likely," said I; "but never mind the +linch-pin, I can make you one, or something that will serve: but I can't +stay here any longer, I am going to my place below with this young +gentlewoman, and you had better follow us." "I am ready," said the man; +and after lifting up the wheel and propping it against the chaise, he +went with us, slightly limping, and with his hand pressed to his thigh. + +As we were descending the narrow path, Belle leading the way, and myself +the last of the party, the postillion suddenly stopped short, and looked +about him. "Why do you stop?" said I. "I don't wish to offend you," +said the man; "but this seems to be a strange place you are leading me +into; I hope you and the young gentlewoman, as you call her, don't mean +me any harm--you seemed in a great hurry to bring me here." "We wished +to get you out of the rain," said I, "and ourselves too; that is, if we +can, which I rather doubt, for the canvas of a tent is slight shelter in +such a rain; but what harm should we wish to do you?" "You may think I +have money," said the man, "and I have some, but only thirty shillings, +and for a sum like that it would be hardly worth while to--" "Would it +not?" said I; "thirty shillings, after all, are thirty shillings, and for +what I know, half a dozen throats may have been cut in this place for +that sum at the rate of five shillings each; moreover, there are horses, +which would serve to establish this young gentlewoman and myself in +housekeeping, provided we were thinking of such a thing." "Then I +suppose I have fallen into pretty hands," said the man, putting himself +in a posture of defence; "but I'll show no craven heart; and if you +attempt to lay hands on me, I'll try to pay you in your own coin. I'm +rather lamed in the leg, but I can still use my fists; so come on, both +of you, man and woman, if woman this be, though she looks more like a +grenadier." + +"Let me hear no more of this nonsense," said Belle; "if you are afraid, +you can go back to your chaise--we only seek to do you a kindness." + +"Why, he was just now talking about cutting throats," said the man. "You +brought it on yourself," said Belle; "you suspected us, and he wished to +pass a joke upon you; he would not hurt a hair of your head, were your +coach laden with gold, nor would I." "Well," said the man, "I was +wrong--here's my hand to both of you," shaking us by the hands; "I'll go +with you where you please, but I thought this a strange lonesome place, +though I ought not much to mind strange lonesome places, having been in +plenty of such when I was a servant in Italy, without coming to any +harm--come, let us move on, for 'tis a shame to keep you two in the +rain." + +So we descended the path which led into the depths of the dingle; at the +bottom I conducted the postillion to my tent, which, though the rain +dripped and trickled through it, afforded some shelter; there I bade him +sit down on the log of wood, while I placed myself as usual on my stone. +Belle in the meantime had repaired to her own place of abode. After a +little time, I produced a bottle of the cordial of which I have +previously had occasion to speak, and made my guest take a considerable +draught. I then offered him some bread and cheese, which he accepted +with thanks. In about an hour the rain had much abated. "What do you +now propose to do?" said I. "I scarcely know," said the man; "I suppose +I must endeavour to put on the wheel with your help." "How far are you +from your home?" I demanded. "Upwards of thirty miles," said the man. +"My master keeps an inn on the great north road, and from thence I +started early this morning with a family which I conveyed across the +country to a hall at some distance from here. On my return I was beset +by the thunderstorm, which frightened the horses, who dragged the chaise +off the road into the field above, and overset it as you saw. I had +proposed to pass the night at an inn about twelve miles from here on my +way back, though how I am to get there to-night I scarcely know, even if +we can put on the wheel, for, to tell you the truth, I am shaken by my +fall, and the smoulder and smoke of that fire-ball have rather bewildered +my head; I am, moreover, not much acquainted with the way." + +"The best thing you can do," said I, "is to pass the night here; I will +presently light a fire, and endeavour to make you comfortable--in the +morning we will see to your wheel." "Well," said the man, "I shall be +glad to pass the night here, provided I do not intrude, but I must see to +the horses." Thereupon I conducted the man to the place where the horses +were tied. "The trees drip rather upon them," said the man, "and it will +not do for them to remain here all night; they will be better out in the +field picking the grass, but first of all they must have a good feed of +corn;" thereupon he went to his chaise, from which he presently brought +two small bags, partly filled with corn--into them he inserted the mouths +of the horses, tying them over their heads. "Here we will leave them for +a time," said the man; "when I think they have had enough, I will come +back, tie their fore-legs, and let them pick about." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI.--THE NEW-COMER TAKES KINDLY TO THE DINGLE AND ITS OCCUPANTS, +ABOUT WHOM HE FORMS HIS OWN OPINIONS. + + +It might be about ten o'clock at night. Belle, the postillion, and +myself, sat just within the tent, by a fire of charcoal which I had +kindled in the chafing-pan. The man had removed the harness from his +horses, and, after tethering their legs, had left them for the night in +the field above, to regale themselves on what grass they could find. The +rain had long since entirely ceased, and the moon and stars shone bright +in the firmament, up to which, putting aside the canvas, I occasionally +looked from the depths of the dingle. Large drops of water, however, +falling now and then upon the tent from the neighbouring trees, would +have served, could we have forgotten it, to remind us of the recent +storm, and also a certain chilliness in the atmosphere, unusual to the +season, proceeding from the moisture with which the ground was saturated; +yet these circumstances only served to make our party enjoy the charcoal +fire the more. There we sat bending over it: Belle, with her long +beautiful hair streaming over her magnificent shoulders; the postillion +smoking his pipe, in his shirtsleeves and waistcoat, having flung aside +his great coat, which had sustained a thorough wetting; and I without my +waggoner's slop, of which, it being in the same plight, I had also +divested myself. + +The new-comer was a well-made fellow of about thirty with an open and +agreeable countenance. I found him very well informed for a man in his +station, and with some pretensions to humour. After we had discoursed +for some time on indifferent subjects, the postillion, who had exhausted +his pipe, took it from his mouth, and, knocking out the ashes upon the +ground, exclaimed: "I little thought, when I got up in the morning, that +I should spend the night in such agreeable company, and after such a +fright." + +"Well," said I, "I am glad that your opinion of us has improved; it is +not long since you seemed to hold us in rather a suspicious light." + +"And no wonder," said the man, "seeing the place you were taking me to. I +was not a little, but very much afraid of ye both; and so I continued for +some time, though, not to show a craven heart, I pretended to be quite +satisfied; but I see I was altogether mistaken about ye. I thought you +vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers; but now--" + +"Vagrant Gypsy folks and trampers," said I; "and what are we but people +of that stamp?" + +"Oh," said the postillion, "if you wish to be thought such, I am far too +civil a person to contradict you, especially after your kindness to me, +but--" + +"But!" said I; "what do you mean by but? I would have you to know that I +am proud of being a travelling blacksmith: look at these donkey-shoes, I +finished them this day." + +The postillion took the shoes and examined them. "So you made these +shoes?" he cried at last. + +"To be sure I did; do you doubt it?" + +"Not in the least," said the man. + +"Ah! ah!" said I, "I thought I should bring you back to your original +opinion. I am, then, a vagrant Gypsy body, a tramper, a wandering +blacksmith." + +"Not a blacksmith, whatever else you may be," said the postillion, +laughing. + +"Then how do you account for my making those shoes?" + +"By your not being a blacksmith," said the postillion; "no blacksmith +would have made shoes in that manner. Besides, what did you mean just +now by saying you had finished these shoes to-day? a real blacksmith +would have flung off half-a-dozen sets of donkey shoes in one morning, +but you, I will be sworn, have been hammering at these for days, and they +do you credit, but why? because you are no blacksmith; no, friend, your +shoes may do for this young gentlewoman's animal, but I shouldn't like to +have my horses shod by you, unless at a great pinch indeed." + +"Then," said I, "for what do you take me?" + +"Why, for some runaway young gentleman," said the postillion. "No +offence, I hope?" + +"None at all; no one is offended at being taken or mistaken for a young +gentleman, whether runaway or not; but from whence do you suppose I have +run away?" + +"Why, from college," said the man: "no offence?" + +"None whatever; and what induced me to run away from college?" + +"A love affair, I'll be sworn," said the postillion. "You had become +acquainted with this young gentle woman, so she and you--" + +"Mind how you get on, friend," said Belle, in a deep serious tone. + +"Pray proceed," said I; "I dare say you mean no offence." + +"None in the world," said the postillion; "all I was going to say was +that you agreed to run away together, you from college and she from +boarding-school. Well, there's nothing to be ashamed of in a matter like +that, such things are done every day by young folks in high life." + +"Are you offended?" said I to Belle. + +Belle made no answer; but, placing her elbows on her knees, buried her +face in her hands. + +"So we ran away together?" said I. + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "to Gretna Green, though I can't say that +I drove ye, though I have driven many a pair." + +"And from Gretna Green we came here?" + +"I'll be bound you did," said the man, "till you could arrange matters at +home." + +"And the horse-shoes?" said I. + +"The donkey-shoes you mean," answered the postillion; "why, I suppose you +persuaded the blacksmith who married you to give you, before you left, a +few lessons in his trade?" + +"And we intend to stay here till we have arranged matters at home?" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "till the old people are pacified, and +they send you letters directed to the next post town, to be left till +called for, beginning with, 'Dear children,' and enclosing you each a +cheque for one hundred pounds, when you will leave this place, and go +home in a coach like gentlefolks, to visit your governors; I should like +nothing better than to have the driving of you: and then there will be a +grand meeting of the two families, and after a few reproaches, the old +people will agree to do something handsome for the poor thoughtless +things; so you will have a genteel house taken for you, and an annuity +allowed you. You won't get much the first year, five hundred at the +most, in order that the old folks may let you feel that they are not +altogether satisfied with you, and that you are yet entirely in their +power; but the second, if you don't get a cool thousand, may I catch +cold, especially should young madam here present a son and heir for the +old people to fondle, destined one day to become sole heir of the two +illustrious houses, and then all the grand folks in the neighbourhood, +who have, bless their prudent hearts! kept rather aloof from you till +then, for fear you should want anything from them--I say, all the +carriage people in the neighbourhood, when they see how swimmingly +matters are going on, will come in shoals to visit you." + +"Really," said I, "you are getting on swimmingly." + +"Oh," said the postillion, "I was not a gentleman's servant nine years +without learning the ways of gentry, and being able to know gentry when I +see them." + +"And what do you say to all this?" I demanded of Belle. + +"Stop a moment," interposed the postillion, "I have one more word to say, +and when you are surrounded by your comforts, keeping your nice little +barouche and pair, your coachman and livery servant, and visited by all +the carriage people in the neighbourhood--to say nothing of the time when +you come to the family estates on the death of the old people--I +shouldn't wonder if now and then you look back with longing and regret to +the days when you lived in the damp dripping dingle, had no better +equipage than a pony or donkey-cart, and saw no better company than a +tramper or gypsy, except once, when a poor postillion was glad to seat +himself at your charcoal fire." + +"Pray," said I, "did you ever take lessons in elocution?" + +"Not directly," said the postillion, "but my old master, who was in +Parliament, did, and so did his son, who was intended to be an orator. A +great professor used to come and give them lessons, and I used to stand +and listen, by which means I picked up a considerable quantity of what is +called rhetoric. In what I last said, I was aiming at what I have heard +him frequently endeavouring to teach my governors as a thing +indispensably necessary in all oratory, a graceful +pere--pere--peregrination." + +"Peroration, perhaps?" + +"Just so," said the postillion; "and now I'm sure I am not mistaken about +you; you have taken lessons yourself, at first hand, in the college +vacations, and a promising pupil you were, I make no doubt. Well, your +friends will be all the happier to get you back. Has your governor much +borough interest?" + +"I ask you once more," said I, addressing myself to Belle, "what you +think of the history which this good man has made for us?" + +"What should I think of it," said Belle, still keeping her face buried in +her hands, "but that it is mere nonsense?" + +"Nonsense!" said the postillion. + +"Yes," said the girl, "and you know it." + +"May my leg always ache, if I do," said the postillion, patting his leg +with his hand; "will you persuade me that this young man has never been +at college?" + +"I have never been at college, but--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion; "but--" + +"I have been to the best schools in Britain, to say nothing of a +celebrated one in Ireland." + +"Well, then, it comes to the same thing," said the postillion; "or +perhaps you know more than if you had been at college--and your +governor?" + +"My governor, as you call him," said I, "is dead." + +"And his borough interest?" + +"My father had no borough interest," said I; "had he possessed any, he +would perhaps not have died as he did, honourably poor." + +"No, no," said the postillion; "if he had had borough interest, he +wouldn't have been poor nor honourable, though perhaps a right +honourable. However, with your grand education and genteel manners, you +made all right at last by persuading this noble young gentlewoman to run +away from boarding-school with you." + +"I was never at a boarding-school," said Belle, "unless you call--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "boarding-school is vulgar, I know: I beg +your pardon, I ought to have called it academy, or by some other much +finer name--you were in something much greater than a boarding-school." + +"There you are right," said Belle, lifting up her head and looking the +postillion full in the face by the light of the charcoal fire; "for I was +bred in the workhouse." + +"Wooh!" said the postillion. + +"It is true that I am of good--" + +"Ay, ay," said the postillion, "let us hear--" + +"Of good blood," continued Belle; "my name is Berners, Isopel Berners, +though my parents were unfortunate. Indeed, with respect to blood, I +believe I am of better blood than the young man." + +"There you are mistaken," said I; "by my father's side I am of Cornish +blood, and by my mother's of brave French Protestant extraction. Now, +with respect to the blood of my father--and to be descended well on the +father's side is the principal thing--it is the best blood in the world, +for the Cornish blood, as the proverb says--" + +"I don't care what the proverb says," said Belle; "I say my blood is the +best--my name is Berners, Isopel Berners--it was my mother's name, and is +better, I am sure, than any you bear, whatever that may be; and though +you say that the descent on the father's side is the principal thing--and +I know why you say so," she added with some excitement--"I say that +descent on the mother's side is of most account, because the mother--" + +"Just come from Gretna Green, and already quarrelling," said the +postillion. + +"We do not come from Gretna Green," said Belle. + +"Ah, I had forgot," said the postillion, "none but great people go to +Gretna Green. Well, then, from church, and already quarrelling about +family, just like two great people." + +"We have never been to church," said Belle, "and, to prevent any more +guessing on your part, it will be as well for me to tell you, friend, +that I am nothing to the young man, and he, of course, nothing to me. I +am a poor travelling girl, born in a workhouse: journeying on my +occasions with certain companions, I came to this hollow, where my +company quarrelled with the young man, who had settled down here, as he +had a right to do, if he pleased; and not been able to drive him out, +they went away after quarrelling with me, too, for not choosing to side +with them; so I stayed here along with the young man, there being room +for us both, and the place being as free to me as to him." + +"And, in order that you may be no longer puzzled with respect to myself," +said I, "I will give you a brief outline of my history. I am the son of +honourable parents, who gave me a first-rate education, as far as +literature and languages went, with which education I endeavoured, on the +death of my father, to advance myself to wealth and reputation in the big +city; but failing in the attempt, I conceived a disgust for the busy +world, and determined to retire from it. After wandering about for some +time, and meeting with various adventures, in one of which I contrived to +obtain a pony, cart, and certain tools, used by smiths and tinkers, I +came to this place, where I amused myself with making horse-shoes, or +rather pony-shoes, having acquired the art of wielding the hammer and +tongs from a strange kind of smith--not him of Gretna Green--whom I knew +in my childhood. And here I lived, doing harm to no one, quite lonely +and solitary, till one fine morning the premises were visited by this +young gentlewoman and her companions. She did herself anything but +justice when she said that her companions quarrelled with her because she +would not side with them against me; they quarrelled with her, because +she came most heroically to my assistance as I was on the point of being +murdered; and she forgot to tell you, that after they had abandoned her +she stood by me in the dark hour, comforting and cheering me, when +unspeakable dread, to which I am occasionally subject, took possession of +my mind. She says she is nothing to me, even as I am nothing to her. I +am of course nothing to her, but she is mistaken in thinking she is +nothing to me. I entertain the highest regard and admiration for her, +being convinced that I might search the whole world in vain for a nature +more heroic and devoted." + +"And for my part," said Belle, with a sob, "a more quiet, agreeable +partner in a place like this I would not wish to have; it is true he has +strange ways, and frequently puts words into my mouth very difficult to +utter; but--but--" and here she buried her face once more in her hands. + +"Well," said the postillion, "I have been mistaken about you; that is, +not altogether, but in part. You are not rich folks, it seems, but you +are not common people, and that I could have sworn. What I call a shame +is, that some people I have known are not in your place and you in +theirs,--you with their estates and borough interest, they in this dingle +with these carts and animals; but there is no help for these things. Were +I the great Mumbo Jumbo above, I would endeavour to manage matters +better; but being a simple postillion, glad to earn three shillings a +day, I can't be expected to do much . . . ." + +[Here the postillion tells his story. After they have heard it, +Lavengro, Isopel, and the narrator roll themselves in their several +blankets and bid one another "Good night."] + + + + +CHAPTER XVII.--THE MAKING OF THE LINCH-PIN--THE SOUND +SLEEPER--BREAKFAST--THE POSTILLION'S DEPARTURE. + + +I awoke at the first break of day, and, leaving the postillion fast +asleep, stepped out of the tent. The dingle was dank and dripping. I +lighted a fire of coals, and got my forge in readiness. I then ascended +to the field, where the chaise was standing as we had left it on the +previous evening. After looking at the cloud-stone near it, now cold, +and split into three pieces, I set about prying narrowly into the +condition of the wheel and axle-tree--the latter had sustained no damage +of any consequence, and the wheel, as far as I was able to judge, was +sound, being only slightly injured in the box. The only thing requisite +to set the chaise in a travelling condition appeared to be a linch-pin, +which I determined to make. Going to the companion wheel, I took out the +linch-pin, which I carried down with me to the dingle, to serve me as a +model. + +I found Belle by this time dressed, and seated near the forge: with a +slight nod to her like that which a person gives who happens to see an +acquaintance when his mind is occupied with important business, I +forthwith set about my work. Selecting a piece of iron which I thought +would serve my purpose, I placed it in the fire, and plying the bellows +in a furious manner, soon made it hot; then seizing it with the tongs, I +laid it on my anvil, and began to beat it with my hammer, according to +the rules of my art. The dingle resounded with my strokes. Belle sat +still, and occasionally smiled, but suddenly started up and retreated +towards her encampment, on a spark which I purposely sent in her +direction alighting on her knee. I found the making of a linch-pin no +easy matter; it was, however, less difficult than the fabrication of a +pony-shoe; my work, indeed, was much facilitated by my having another pin +to look at. In about three-quarters of an hour I had succeeded tolerably +well, and had produced a linch-pin which I thought would serve. During +all this time, notwithstanding the noise which I was making, the +postillion never showed his face. His non-appearance at first alarmed +me: I was afraid he might be dead, but, on looking into the tent, I found +him still buried in the soundest sleep. "He must surely be descended +from one of the seven sleepers," said I, as I turned away and resumed my +work. My work finished, I took a little oil, leather, and sand, and +polished the pin as well as I could; then, summoning Belle, we both went +to the chaise, where, with her assistance, I put on the wheel. The linch- +pin which I had made fitted its place very well, and having replaced the +other, I gazed at the chaise for some time with my heart full of that +satisfaction which results from the consciousness of having achieved a +great action; then, after looking at Belle in the hope of obtaining a +compliment from her lips, which did not come, I returned to the dingle, +without saying a word, followed by her. Belle set about making +preparations for breakfast; and I, taking the kettle, went and filled it +at the spring. Having hung it over the fire, I went to the tent in which +the postillion was still sleeping, and called upon him to arise. He +awoke with a start, and stared around him at first with the utmost +surprise, not unmixed, I could observe, with a certain degree of fear. At +last, looking in my face, he appeared to recollect himself. "I had quite +forgot," said he, as he got up, "where I was, and all that happened +yesterday. However, I remember now the whole affair, thunderstorm, +thunder-bolt, frightened horses, and all your kindness. Come, I must see +after my coach and horses; I hope we shall be able to repair the damage." +"The damage is already quite repaired," said I, "as you will see, if you +come to the field above." "You don't say so," said the postillion, +coming out of the tent; "well, I am mightily beholden to you. Good +morning, young gentlewoman," said he, addressing Belle, who, having +finished her preparations, was seated near the fire. "Good morning, +young man," said Belle: "I suppose you would be glad of some breakfast; +however, you must wait a little, the kettle does not boil." "Come and +look at your chaise," said I; "but tell me how it happened that the noise +which I have been making did not awake you; for three-quarters of an hour +at least I was hammering close at your ear." "I heard you all the time," +said the postillion, "but your hammering made me sleep all the sounder; I +am used to hear hammering in my morning sleep. There's a forge close by +the room where I sleep when I'm at home, at my inn; for we have all kinds +of conveniences at my inn--forge, carpenter's shop, and wheelwright's,--so +that when I heard you hammering, I thought, no doubt, that it was the old +noise, and that I was comfortable in my bed at my own inn." We now +ascended to the field, where I showed the postillion his chaise. He +looked at the pin attentively, rubbed his hands, and gave a loud laugh. +"Is it not well done?" said I. "It will do till I get home," he replied. +"And that is all you have to say?" I demanded. "And that's a good deal," +said he, "considering who made it. But don't be offended," he added, "I +shall prize it all the more for its being made by a gentleman, and no +blacksmith; and so will my governor, when I show it to him. I shan't let +it remain where it is, but will keep it, as a remembrance of you, as long +as I live." He then again rubbed his hands with great glee, and said, "I +will now go and see after my horses, and then to breakfast, partner, if +you please." Suddenly, however, looking at his hands, he said, "Before +sitting down to breakfast, I am in the habit of washing my hands and +face: I suppose you could not furnish me with a little soap and water." +"As much water as you please," said I, "but if you want soap, I must go +and trouble the young gentlewoman for some." "By no means," said the +postillion, "water will do at a pinch." "Follow me," said I; and leading +him to the pond of the frogs and newts, I said, "This is my ewer; you are +welcome to part of it--the water is so soft that it is scarcely necessary +to add soap to it;" then lying down on the bank, I plunged my head into +the water, then scrubbed my hands and face, and afterwards wiped them +with some long grass which grew on the margin of the pond. "Bravo," said +the postillion, "I see you know how to make a shift;" he then followed my +example, declared he never felt more refreshed in his life, and, giving a +bound, said, "he would go and look after his horses." + +We then went to look after the horses, which we found not much the worse +for having spent the night in the open air. My companion again inserted +their heads in the corn-bags, and, leaving the animals to discuss their +corn, returned with me to the dingle, where we found the kettle boiling. +We sat down, and Belle made tea and did the honours of the meal. The +postillion was in high spirits, ate heartily, and, to Belle's evident +satisfaction, declared that he had never drank better tea in his life, or +indeed any half so good. Breakfast over, he said that he must now go and +harness his horses, as it was high time for him to return to his inn. +Belle gave him her hand and wished him farewell: the postillion shook her +hand warmly, and was advancing close up to her--for what purpose I cannot +say--whereupon Belle, withdrawing her hand, drew herself up with an air +which caused the postillion to retreat a step or two with an exceedingly +sheepish look. Recovering himself, however, he made a low bow, and +proceeded up the path. I attended him, and helped to harness his horses +and put them to the vehicle; he then shook me by the hand, and taking the +reins and whip mounted to his seat; ere he drove away he thus addressed +me: "If ever I forget your kindness and that of the young woman below, +dash my buttons. If ever either of you should enter my inn you may +depend upon a warm welcome, the best that can be set before you, and no +expense to either, for I will give both of you the best of characters to +the governor, who is the very best fellow upon all the road. As for your +linch-pin, I trust it will serve till I get home, when I will take it out +and keep it in remembrance of you all the days of my life;" then giving +the horses a jerk with his reins, he cracked his whip and drove off. + +I returned to the dingle, Belle had removed the breakfast things, and was +busy in her own encampment: nothing occurred, worthy of being related, +for two hours, at the end of which time Belle departed on a short +expedition, and I again found myself alone in the dingle. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII.--THE MAN IN BLACK--THE EMPEROR OF GERMANY--NEPOTISM--DONNA +OLYMPIA--OMNIPOTENCE--CAMILLO ASTALLI--THE FIVE PROPOSITIONS. + + +In the evening I received another visit from the man in black. I had +been taking a stroll in the neighbourhood, and was sitting in the dingle +in rather a listless manner, scarcely knowing how to employ myself; his +coming, therefore, was by no means disagreeable to me. I produced the +hollands and glass from my tent, where Isopel Berners had requested me to +deposit them, and also some lump sugar, then taking the gotch I fetched +water from the spring, and, sitting down, begged the man in black to help +himself; he was not slow in complying with my desire, and prepared for +himself a glass of hollands and water with a lump of sugar in it. After +he had taken two or three sips with evident satisfaction, I, remembering +his chuckling exclamation of "Go to Rome for money," when he last left +the dingle, took the liberty, after a little conversation, of reminding +him of it, whereupon, with a he! he! he! he replied, "Your idea was not +quite so original as I supposed. After leaving you the other night I +remembered having read of an emperor of Germany who conceived the idea of +applying to Rome for money, and actually put it into practice. + +"Urban the Eighth then occupied the papal chair, of the family of the +Barberini, nicknamed the Mosche, or Flies, from the circumstance of bees +being their armorial bearing. The Emperor having exhausted all his money +in endeavouring to defend the church against Gustavus Adolphus, the great +King of Sweden, who was bent on its destruction, applied in his necessity +to the Pope for a loan of money. The Pope, however, and his relations, +whose cellars were at that time full of the money of the church, which +they had been plundering for years, refused to lend him a scudo; +whereupon a pasquinade picture was stuck up at Rome, representing the +church lying on a bed, gashed with dreadful wounds, and beset all over +with flies, which were sucking her, whilst the Emperor of Germany was +kneeling before her with a miserable face, requesting a little money +towards carrying on the war against the heretics, to which the poor +church was made to say: 'How can I assist you, O my champion, do you not +see that the flies have sucked me to the very bones?' Which story," said +he, "shows that the idea of going to Rome for money was not quite so +original as I imagined the other night, though utterly preposterous. + +"This affair," said he, "occurred in what were called the days of +nepotism. Certain popes, who wished to make themselves in some degree +independent of the cardinals, surrounded themselves with their nephews, +and the rest of their family, who sucked the church and Christendom as +much as they could, none doing so more effectually than the relations of +Urban the Eighth, at whose death, according to the book called the +"Nipotismo di Roma," there were in the Barberini family two hundred and +twenty-seven governments, abbeys, and high dignities; and so much hard +cash in their possession that threescore and ten mules were scarcely +sufficient to convey the plunder of one of them to Palestrina." He +added, however, that it was probable that Christendom fared better whilst +the popes were thus independent, as it was less sucked, whereas before +and after that period, it was sucked by hundreds instead of tens, by the +cardinals and all their relations, instead of by the pope and his nephews +only. + +Then, after drinking rather copiously of his hollands, he said that it +was certainly no bad idea of the popes to surround themselves with +nephews, on whom they bestowed great church dignities, as by so doing +they were tolerably safe from poison, whereas a pope, if abandoned to the +cardinals, might at any time be made away with by them, provided they +thought that he lived too long, or that he seemed disposed to do anything +which they disliked; adding, that Ganganelli would never have been +poisoned provided he had had nephews about him to take care of his life, +and to see that nothing unholy was put into his food, or a bustling +stirring brother's wife like Donna Olympia. He then with a he! he! he! +asked me if I had ever read the book called the "Nipotismo di Roma"; and +on my replying in the negative, he told me that it was a very curious and +entertaining book, which he occasionally looked at in an idle hour, and +proceeded to relate to me anecdotes out of the "Nipotismo di Roma" about +the successor of Urban, Innocent the Tenth, and Donna Olympia, showing +how fond he was of her, and how she cooked his food, and kept the +cardinals away from it, and how she and her creatures plundered +Christendom, with the sanction of the Pope until Christendom, becoming +enraged, insisted that he should put her away, which he did for a time, +putting a nephew--one Camillo Astalli--in her place, in which, however, +he did not continue long for the Pope, conceiving a pique against him, +banished him from his sight, and recalled Donna Olympia, who took care of +his food, and plundered Christendom until Pope Innocent died. + +I said that I only wondered that between pope and cardinals the whole +system of Rome had not long fallen to the ground, and was told in reply, +that its not having fallen was the strongest proof of its vital power, +and the absolute necessity for the existence of the system. That the +system, notwithstanding its occasional disorders, went on. Popes and +cardinals might prey upon its bowels, and sell its interests, but the +system survived. The cutting off of this or that member was not able to +cause Rome any vital loss; for, as soon as she lost a member, the loss +was supplied by her own inherent vitality; though her popes had been +poisoned by cardinals, and her cardinals by popes; and though priests +occasionally poisoned popes, cardinals, and each other, after all that +had been, and might be, she had still, and would ever have, her priests, +cardinals, and pope. + +Finding the man in black so communicative and reasonable, I determined to +make the best of my opportunity, and learn from him all I could with +respect to the papal system, and told him that he would particularly +oblige me by telling me who the Pope of Rome was; and received for +answer, that he was an old man elected by a majority of cardinals to the +papal chair; who, immediately after his election, became omnipotent and +equal to God on earth. On my begging him not to talk such nonsense, and +asking him how a person could be omnipotent who could not always preserve +himself from poison, even when fenced round by nephews, or protected by a +bustling woman, he, after taking a long sip of hollands and water, told +me that I must not expect too much from omnipotence; for example, that as +it would be unreasonable to expect that One above could annihilate the +past--for instance, the Seven Years' War, or the French Revolution--though +any one who believed in Him would acknowledge Him to be omnipotent, so +would it be unreasonable for the faithful to expect that the Pope could +always guard himself from poison. Then, after looking at me for a moment +steadfastly, and taking another sip, he told me that popes had frequently +done impossibilities; for example, Innocent the Tenth had created a +nephew: for, not liking particularly any of his real nephews, he had +created the said Camillo Astalli his nephew; asking me, with a he! he! +"What but omnipotence could make a young man nephew to a person to whom +he was not in the slightest degree related?" On my observing that of +course no one believed that the young fellow was really the pope's +nephew, though the pope might have adopted him as such, the man in black +replied, "that the reality of the nephewship of Camillo Astalli had +hitherto never become a point of faith; let, however, the present pope, +or any other pope, proclaim that it is necessary to believe in the +reality of the nephewship of Camillo Astalli, and see whether the +faithful would not believe in it. Who can doubt that," he added, "seeing +that they believe in the reality of the five propositions of Jansenius? +The Jesuits, wishing to ruin the Jansenists, induced a pope to declare +that such and such damnable opinions, which they called five +propositions, were to be found in a book written by Jansen, though in +reality no such propositions were to be found there; whereupon the +existence of these propositions became forthwith a point of faith to the +faithful. Do you then think," he demanded, "that there is one of the +faithful who would not swallow, if called upon, the nephewship of Camillo +Astalli as easily as the five propositions of Jansenius?" "Surely, +then," said I, "the faithful must be a pretty pack of simpletons!" +Whereupon the man in black exclaimed, "What! a Protestant, and an +infringer of the rights of faith! Here's a fellow, who would feel +himself insulted if any one were to ask him how he could believe in the +miraculous conception, calling people simpletons who swallow the five +propositions of Jansenius, and are disposed, if called upon, to swallow +the reality of the nephewship of Camillo Astalli." + +I was about to speak, when I was interrupted by the arrival of Belle. +After unharnessing her donkey, and adjusting her person a little, she +came and sat down by us. In the meantime I had helped my companion to +some more hollands and water, and had plunged with him into yet deeper +discourse. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX.--NECESSITY OF RELIGION--THE GREAT INDIAN ONE--IMAGE +WORSHIP--SHAKESPEARE--THE PAT ANSWER--KRISHNA--AMEN. + + +Having told the man in black that I should like to know all the truth +with regard to the Pope and his system, he assured me he should be +delighted to give me all the information in his power; that he had come +to the dingle, not so much for the sake of the good cheer which I was in +the habit of giving him, as in the hope of inducing me to enlist under +the banners of Rome, and to fight in her cause; and that he had no doubt +that, by speaking out frankly to me, he ran the best chance of winning me +over. + +He then proceeded to tell me that the experience of countless ages had +proved the necessity of religion; the necessity, he would admit, was only +for simpletons; but as nine-tenths of the dwellers upon this earth were +simpletons, it would never do for sensible people to run counter to their +folly, but, on the contrary, it was the wisest course to encourage them +in it, always provided that, by so doing, sensible people could derive +advantage; that the truly sensible people of this world were the priests, +who, without caring a straw for religion for its own sake, made use of it +as a cord by which to draw the simpletons after them; that there were +many religions in this world, all of which had been turned to excellent +account by the priesthood; but that the one the best adapted for the +purposes of priestcraft was the popish, which, he said, was the oldest in +the world and the best calculated to endure. On my inquiring what he +meant by saying the popish religion was the oldest in the world, whereas +there could be no doubt that the Greek and Roman religion had existed +long before it, to say nothing of the old Indian religion still in +existence and vigour; he said, with a nod, after taking a sip at his +glass, that, between me and him, the popish religion, that of Greece and +Rome, and the old Indian system were, in reality, one and the same. + +"You told me that you intended to be frank," said I; "but, however frank +you may be, I think you are rather wild." + +"We priests of Rome," said the man in black, "even those amongst us who +do not go much abroad, know a great deal about church matters, of which +you heretics have very little idea. Those of our brethren of the +Propaganda, on their return home from distant missions, not unfrequently +tell us very strange things relating to our dear mother; for example, our +first missionaries to the East were not slow in discovering and telling +to their brethren that our religion and the great Indian one were +identical, no more difference between them than between Ram and Rome. +Priests, convents, beads, prayers, processions, fastings, penances, all +the same, not forgetting anchorites and vermin, he! he! The pope they +found under the title of the grand lama, a sucking child surrounded by an +immense number of priests. Our good brethren, some two hundred years +ago, had a hearty laugh, which their successors have often re-echoed; +they said that helpless suckling and its priests put them so much in mind +of their own old man, surrounded by his cardinals, he! he! Old age is +second childhood." + +"Did they find Christ?" said I. + +"They found him too," said the man in black, "that is, they saw his +image; he is considered in India as a pure kind of being, and on that +account, perhaps, is kept there rather in the background, even as he is +here." + +"All this is very mysterious to me," said I. + +"Very likely," said the man in black; "but of this I am tolerably sure, +and so are most of those of Rome, that modern Rome had its religion from +ancient Rome, which had its religion from the East." + +"But how?" I demanded. + +"It was brought about, I believe, by the wanderings of nations," said the +man in black. "A brother of the Propaganda, a very learned man, once +told me--I do not mean Mezzofante, who has not five ideas--this brother +once told me that all we of the Old World, from Calcutta to Dublin, are +of the same stock, and were originally of the same language, and--" + +"All of one religion," I put in. + +"All of one religion," said the mad in black; "and now follow different +modifications of the same religion." + +"We Christians are not image-worshippers," said I. + +"You heretics are not, you mean," said the man in black; "but you will be +put down, just as you have always been, though others may rise up after +you; the true religion is image-worship; people may strive against it, +but they will only work themselves to an oil; how did it fare with that +Greek Emperor, the Iconoclast, what was his name, Leon the Isaurian? Did +not his image-breaking cost him Italy, the fairest province of his +empire, and did not ten fresh images start up at home for every one which +he demolished? Oh! you little know the craving which the soul sometimes +feels after a good bodily image." + +"I have indeed no conception of it," said I; "I have an abhorrence of +idolatry--the idea of bowing before a graven figure." + +"The idea, indeed," said Belle, who had now joined us. + +"Did you never bow before that of Shakespeare?" said the man in black, +addressing himself to me, after a low bow to Belle. + +"I don't remember that I ever did," said I, "but even suppose I did?" + +"Suppose you did," said the man in black; "shame on you, Mr. Hater of +Idolatry; why, the very supposition brings you to the ground; you must +make figures of Shakespeare, must you? then why not of St. Antonio, or +Ignacio, or of a greater personage still? I know what you are going to +say," he cried, interrupting me as I was about to speak. "You don't make +his image in order to pay it divine honours, but only to look at it, and +think of Shakespeare; but this looking at a thing in order to think of a +person is the very basis of idolatry. Shakespeare's works are not +sufficient for you; no more are the Bible or the legend of Saint Antony +or Saint Ignacio for us, that is for those of us who believe in them; I +tell you, Zingaro, that no religion can exist long which rejects a good +bodily image." + +"Do you think," said I, "that Shakespeare's works would not exist without +his image?" + +"I believe," said the man in black, "that Shakespeare's image is looked +at more than his works, and will be looked at, and perhaps adored, when +they are forgotten. I am surprised that they have not been forgotten +long ago; I am no admirer of them." + +"But I can't imagine," said I, "how you will put aside the authority of +Moses. If Moses strove against image-worship, should not his doing so be +conclusive as to the impropriety of the practice; what higher authority +can you have than that of Moses?" + +"The practice of the great majority of the human race," said the man in +black, "and the recurrence to image-worship, where image-worship has been +abolished. Do you know that Moses is considered by the church as no +better than a heretic, and though, for particular reasons, it has been +obliged to adopt his writings, the adoption was merely a sham one, as it +never paid the slightest attention to them? No, no, the church was never +led by Moses, nor by one mightier than he, whose doctrine it has equally +nullified--I allude to Krishna in his second avatar; the church, it is +true, governs in his name, but not unfrequently gives him the lie, if he +happens to have said anything which it dislikes. Did you never hear the +reply which Padre Paolo Segani made to the French Protestant Jean +Anthoine Guerin, who had asked him whether it was easier for Christ to +have been mistaken in his Gospel, than for the Pope to be mistaken in his +decrees?" + +"I never heard their names before," said I. + +"The answer was pat," said the man in black, "though he who made it was +confessedly the most ignorant fellow of the very ignorant order to which +he belonged, the Augustine. 'Christ might err as a man,' said he, 'but +the Pope can never err, being God.' The whole story is related in the +Nipotismo." + +"I wonder you should ever have troubled yourselves with Christ at all," +said I. + +"What was to be done?" said the man in black; "the power of that name +suddenly came over Europe, like the power of a mighty wind; it was said +to have come from Judaea, and from Judaea it probably came when it first +began to agitate minds in these parts; but it seems to have been known in +the remote East, more or less, for thousands of years previously. It +filled people's minds with madness; it was followed by books which were +never much regarded, as they contained little of insanity; but the name! +what fury that breathed into people! the books were about peace and +gentleness, but the name was the most horrible of war-cries--those who +wished to uphold old names at first strove to oppose it, but their +efforts were feeble, and they had no good war-cry; what was Mars as a war- +cry compared with the name of. . . .? It was said that they persecuted +terribly, but who said so? The Christians. The Christians could have +given them a lesson in the art of persecution, and eventually did so. +None but Christians have ever been good persecutors; well, the old +religion succumbed, Christianity prevailed, for the ferocious is sure to +prevail over the gentle." + +"I thought," said I, "you stated a little time ago that the Popish +religion and the ancient Roman are the same?" + +"In every point but that name, that Krishna and the fury and love of +persecution which it inspired," said the man in black. "A hot blast came +from the East, sounding Krishna; it absolutely maddened people's minds, +and the people would call themselves his children; we will not belong to +Jupiter any longer, we will belong to Krishna; and they did belong to +Krishna, that is in name, but in nothing else; for who ever cared for +Krishna in the Christian world, or who ever regarded the words attributed +to Him, or put them in practice?" + +"Why, we Protestants regard His words, and endeavour to practise what +they enjoin as much as possible." + +"But you reject his image," said the man in black; "better reject his +words than his image: no religion can exist long which rejects a good +bodily image. Why, the very negro barbarians of High Barbary could give +you a lesson on that point; they have their fetish images, to which they +look for help in their afflictions; they have likewise a high priest, +whom they call--" + +"Mumbo Jumbo," said I; "I know all about him already." + +"How came you to know anything about him?" said the man in black, with a +look of some surprise. + +"Some of us poor Protestant tinkers," said I, "though we live in dingles, +as also acquainted with a thing or two." + +"I really believe you are," said the man in black, staring at me; "but, +in connection with this Mumbo Jumbo, I could relate to you a comical +story about a fellow, an English servant, I once met at Rome." {218} + +"It would be quite unnecessary," said I; "I would much sooner hear you +talk about Krishna, his words and image." + +"Spoken like a true heretic," said the man in black; "one of the faithful +would have placed his image before his words; for what are all the words +in the world compared with a good bodily image?" + +"I believe you occasionally quote his words?" said I. + +"He! he!" said the man in black; "occasionally." + +"For example," said I, "upon this rock I will found my church." + +"He! he!" said the man in black; "you must really become one of us." + +"Yet you must have had some difficulty in getting the rock to Rome?" + +"None whatever," said the man in black; "faith can remove mountains, to +say nothing of rocks--ho! ho!" + +"But I cannot imagine," said I, "what advantage you could derive from +perverting those words of Scripture in which the Saviour talks about +eating his body." + +"I do not know, indeed, why we troubled our heads about the matter at +all," said the man in black; "but when you talk about perverting the +meaning of the text, you speak ignorantly, Mr. Tinker; when he whom you +call the Saviour gave his followers the sop, and bade them eat it, +telling them it was his body, he delicately alluded to what it was +incumbent upon them to do after his death, namely, to eat his body." + +"You do not mean to say that he intended they should actually eat his +body?" + +"Then you suppose ignorantly," said the man in black; "eating the bodies +of the dead was a heathenish custom, practised by the heirs and legatees +of people who left property; and this custom is alluded to in the text." + +"But what has the New Testament to do with heathen customs," said I, +"except to destroy them?" + +"More than you suppose," said the man in black. "We priests of Rome, who +have long lived at Rome, know much better what the New Testament is made +of than the heretics and their theologians, not forgetting their Tinkers; +though I confess some of the latter have occasionally surprised us--for +example, Bunyan. The New Testament is crowded with allusions to heathen +customs, and with words connected with pagan sorcery. Now, with respect +to words, I would fain have you, who pretend to be a philologist, tell me +the meaning of Amen?" + +I made no answer. + +"We, of Rome," said the man in black, "know two or three things of which +the heretics are quite ignorant; for example, there are those amongst +us--those, too, who do not pretend to be philologists--who know what amen +is, and, moreover, how we got it. We got it from our ancestors, the +priests of ancient Rome; and they got the word from their ancestors of +the East, the priests of Buddh and Brahma." + +"And what is the meaning of the word?" I demanded. + +"Amen," said the man in black, "is a modification of the old Hindoo +formula, Omani batsikhom, by the almost ceaseless repetition of which the +Indians hope to be received finally to the rest or state of forgetfulness +of Buddh or Brahma; a foolish practice you will say, but are you heretics +much wiser, who are continually sticking amen to the end of your prayers, +little knowing when you do so, that you are consigning yourselves to the +repose of Buddh? Oh, what hearty laughs our missionaries have had when +comparing the eternally sounding Eastern gibberish of Omani batsikhom, +and the Ave Maria and Amen Jesus of our own idiotical devotees." + +"I have nothing to say about the Ave Marias and Amens of your +superstitious devotees," said I; "I daresay that they use them +nonsensically enough, but in putting Amen to the end of a prayer, we +merely intend to express, 'So let it be.'" + +"It means nothing of the kind," said the man in black; "and the Hindoos +might just as well put your national oath at the end of their prayers, as +perhaps they will after a great many thousand years, when English is +forgotten, and only a few words of it remembered by dim tradition without +being understood. How strange if, after the lapse of four thousand +years, the Hindoos should damn themselves to the blindness so dear to +their present masters, even as their masters at present consign +themselves to the forgetfulness so dear to the Hindoos; but my glass has +been empty for a considerable time; perhaps Bellissima Biondina," said +he, addressing Belle, "you will deign to replenish it?" + +"I shall do no such thing," said Belle; "you have drank quite enough, and +talked more than enough, and to tell you the truth I wish you would leave +us alone." + +"Shame on you, Belle," said I, "consider the obligations of hospitality." + +"I am sick of that word," said Belle, "you are so frequently misusing it; +were this place not Mumpers' Dingle, and consequently as free to the +fellow as ourselves, I would lead him out of it." + +"Pray be quiet, Belle," said I. "You had better help yourself," said I, +addressing myself to the man in black, "the lady is angry with you." + +"I am sorry for it," said the man in black; "if she is angry with me, I +am not so with her, and shall always be proud to wait upon her; in the +meantime I will wait upon myself." + + + + +CHAPTER XX.--THE PROPOSAL--THE SCOTCH NOVEL--LATITUDE--MIRACLES--PESTILENT +HERETICS--OLD FRASER--WONDERFUL TEXT--NO ARMENIAN. + + +The man in black having helped himself to some more of his favourite +beverage, and tasted it, I thus addressed him: "The evening is getting +rather advanced, and I can see that this lady," pointing to Belle, "is +anxious for her tea, which she prefers to take cosily and comfortably +with me in the dingle. The place, it is true, is as free to you as to +ourselves, nevertheless, as we are located here by necessity, whilst you +merely come as a visitor, I must take the liberty of telling you that we +shall be glad to be alone, as soon as you have said what you have to say, +and have finished the glass of refreshment at present in your hand. I +think you said some time ago that one of your motives for coming hither +was to induce me to enlist under the banner of Rome. I wish to know +whether that was really the case?" + +"Decidedly so," said the man in black; "I come here principally in the +hope of enlisting you in our regiment, in which I have no doubt you could +do us excellent service." + +"Would you enlist my companion as well?" I demanded. + +"We should be only too proud to have her among us, whether she comes with +you or alone," said the man in black, with a polite bow to Belle. + +"Before we give you an answer," I replied, "I would fain know more about +you; perhaps you will declare your name?" + +"That I will never do," said the man in black; "no one in England knows +it but myself, and I will not declare it, even in a dingle; as for the +rest, _Sono un Prete Cattolica Appostolico_--that is all that many a one +of us can say for himself, and it assuredly means a great deal." + +"We will now proceed to business," said I. "You must be aware that we +English are generally considered a self-interested people." + +"And with considerable justice," said the man in black, drinking. "Well, +you are a person of acute perception, and I will presently make it +evident to you that it would be to your interest to join with us. You +are at present, evidently, in very needy circumstances, and are lost, not +only to yourself, but the world; but should you enlist with us, I could +find you an occupation not only agreeable, but one in which your talents +would have free scope. I would introduce you in the various grand houses +here in England, to which I have myself admission, as a surprising young +gentleman of infinite learning, who by dint of study has discovered that +the Roman is the only true faith. I tell you confidently that our popish +females would make a saint, nay a God of you; they are fools enough for +anything. There is one person in particular with whom I should wish to +make you acquainted, in the hope that you would be able to help me to +perform good service to the holy see. He is a gouty old fellow, of some +learning, residing in an old hall, near the great western sea-port, and +is one of the very few amongst the English Catholics possessing a grain +of sense. I think you could help us to govern him, for he is not +unfrequently disposed to be restive, asks us strange +questions--occasionally threatens us with his crutch; and behaves so that +we are often afraid that we shall lose him, or, rather, his property, +which he has bequeathed to us, and which is enormous. I am sure that you +could help us to deal with him; sometimes with your humour, sometimes +with your learning, and perhaps occasionally with your fists. + +"And in what manner would you provide for my companion?" said I. + +"We would place her at once," said the man in black, "in the house of two +highly respectable Catholic ladies in this neighbourhood, where she would +be treated with every care and consideration till her conversion should +be accomplished in a regular manner; we would then remove her to a female +monastic establishment, where, after undergoing a year's probation, +during which time she would be instructed in every elegant +accomplishment, she should take the veil. Her advancement would speedily +follow, for, with such a face and figure, she would make a capital lady +abbess, especially in Italy, to which country she would probably be sent; +ladies of her hair and complexion--to say nothing of her height--being a +curiosity in the south. With a little care and management she could soon +obtain a vast reputation for sanctity; and who knows but after her death +she might become a glorified saint--he! he! Sister Maria Theresa, for +that is the name I propose you should bear. Holy Mother Maria +Theresa--glorified and celestial saint, I have the honour of drinking to +your health," and the man in black drank. + +"Well, Belle," said I, "what have you to say to the gentleman's +proposal?" + +"That if he goes on in this way I will break his glass against his +mouth." + +"You have heard the lady's answer," said I. + +"I have," said the man in black, "and shall not press the matter. I +can't help, however, repeating that she would make a capital lady abbess; +she would keep the nuns in order, I warrant her; no easy matter! Break +the glass against my mouth--he! he! How she would send the holy utensils +flying at the nuns' heads occasionally, and just the person to wring the +nose of Satan should he venture to appear one night in her cell in the +shape of a handsome black man. No offence, madam, no offence, pray +retain your seat," said he, observing that Belle had started up; "I mean +no offence. Well, if you will not consent to be an abbess, perhaps you +will consent to follow this young Zingaro, and to co-operate with him and +us. I am a priest, madam, and can join you both in an instant, _connubio +stabili_, as I suppose the knot has not been tied already." + +"Hold your mumping gibberish," said Belle, "and leave the dingle this +moment, for though 'tis free to every one, you have no right to insult me +in it." + +"Pray be pacified," said I to Belle, getting up, and placing myself +between her and the man in black, "he will presently leave, take my word +for it--there, sit down again," said I, as I led her to her seat; then, +resuming my own, I said to the man in black: "I advise you to leave the +dingle as soon as possible." + +"I should wish to have your answer to my proposal first," said he. + +"Well, then, here you shall have it: I will not entertain your proposal; +I detest your schemes: they are both wicked and foolish." + +"Wicked," said the man in black, "have they not--he! he!--the furtherance +of religion in view?" + +"A religion," said I, "in which you yourself do not believe, and which +you contemn." + +"Whether I believe in it or not," said the man in black, "it is adapted +for the generality of the human race; so I will forward it, and advise +you to do the same. It was nearly extirpated in these regions, but it is +springing up again, owing to circumstances. Radicalism is a good friend +to us; all the liberals laud up our system out of hatred to the +Established Church, though our system is ten times less liberal than the +Church of England. Some of them have really come over to us. I myself +confess a baronet [Sir Charles Wolesley] who presided over the first +radical meeting ever held in England--he was an atheist when he came over +to us, in the hope of mortifying his own church--but he is now--ho! ho!--a +real Catholic devotee--quite afraid of my threats; I made him frequently +scourge himself before me. Well, Radicalism does us good service, +especially amongst the lower classes, for Radicalism chiefly flourishes +amongst them; for though a baronet or two may be found amongst the +radicals, and perhaps as many lords--fellows who have been discarded by +their own order for clownishness, or something they have done--it +incontestably flourishes best among the lower orders. Then the love of +what is foreign is a great friend to us; this love is chiefly confined to +the middle and upper classes. {227} Some admire the French, and imitate +them; others must needs be Spaniards, dress themselves up in a zamarra, +stick a cigar in their mouths, and say, 'Carajo.' Others would pass for +Germans; he! he! the idea of any one wishing to pass for a German! but +what has done us more service than anything else in these regions--I mean +amidst the middle classes--has been the novel, the Scotch novel. The +good folks, since they have read the novels, have become Jacobites; and, +because all the Jacobs were Papists, the good folks must become Papists +also, or, at least, papistically inclined. The very Scotch +Presbyterians, since they have read the novels, are become all but +Papists; I speak advisedly, having lately been amongst them. There's a +trumpery bit of a half papist sect, called the Scotch Episcopalian +Church, which lay dormant and nearly forgotten for upwards of a hundred +years, which has of late got wonderfully into fashion in Scotland, +because, forsooth, some of the long-haired gentry of the novels were said +to belong to it, such as Montrose and Dundee; and to this the +Presbyterians are going over in throngs, traducing and vilifying their +own forefathers, or denying them altogether, and calling themselves +descendants of--ho! ho! ho!--Scottish Cavaliers!!! I have heard them +myself repeating snatches of Jacobite ditties about 'Bonnie Dundee,' and-- + + "'Come, fill up my cup, and fill up my can, + And saddle my horse, and call up my man.' + +There's stuff for you! Not that I object to the first part of the ditty, +it is natural enough that a Scotchman should cry, 'Come, fill up my cup!' +more especially if he's drinking at another person's expense--all +Scotchmen being fond of liquor at free cost: but 'Saddle his +horse!!!'--for what purpose I would ask? Where is the use of saddling a +horse, unless you can ride him? and where was there ever a Scotchman who +could ride?" + +"Of course you have not a drop of Scotch blood in your veins," said I, +"otherwise you would never have uttered that last sentence." + +"Don't be too sure of that," said the man in black; "you know little of +Popery if you imagine that it cannot extinguish love of country, even in +a Scotchman. A thorough-going Papist--and who more thorough-going than +myself--cares nothing for his country; and why should he? he belongs to a +system, and not to a country." + +"One thing," said I, "connected with you, I cannot understand; you call +yourself a thorough-going Papist, yet are continually saying the most +pungent things against Popery, and turning to unbounded ridicule those +who show any inclination to embrace it." + +"Rome is a very sensible old body," said the man in black, "and little +cares what her children say, provided they do her bidding. She knows +several things, and amongst others, that no servants work so hard and +faithfully as those who curse their masters at every stroke they do. She +was not fool enough to be angry with the Miquelets of Alba, who renounced +her, and called her 'puta' all the time they were cutting the throats of +the Netherlanders. Now, if she allowed her faithful soldiers the +latitude of renouncing her, and calling her 'puta' in the market-place, +think not she is so unreasonable as to object to her faithful priests +occasionally calling her 'puta' in the dingle." + +"But," said I, "suppose some one were to tell the world some of the +disorderly things which her priests say in the dingle." + +"He would have the fate of Cassandra," said the man in black; "no one +would believe him--yes, the priests would: but they would make no sign of +belief. They believe in the Alcoran des Cordeliers {230}--that is, those +who have read it; but they make no sign." + +"A pretty system," said I, "which extinguishes love of country and of +everything noble, and brings the minds of its ministers to a parity with +those of devils, who delight in nothing but mischief." + +"The system," said the man in black, "is a grand one, with unbounded +vitality. Compare it with your Protestantism, and you will see the +difference. Popery is ever at work, whilst Protestantism is supine. A +pretty church, indeed, the Protestant! Why, it can't even work a +miracle." + +"Can your church work miracles?" I demanded. + +"That was the very question," said the man in black, "which the ancient +British clergy asked of Austin Monk, after they had been fools enough to +acknowledge their own inability. 'We don't pretend to work miracles; do +you?' 'Oh! dear me, yes,' said Austin; 'we find no difficulty in the +matter. We can raise the dead, we can make the blind see; and to +convince you I will give sight to the blind. Here is this blind Saxon, +whom you cannot cure, but on whose eyes I will manifest my power, in +order to show the difference between the true and the false church;' and +forthwith, with the assistance of a handkerchief and a little hot water, +he opened the eyes of the barbarian. So we manage matters! A pretty +church, that old British church, which could not work miracles--quite as +helpless as the modern one. The fools! was birdlime so scarce a thing +amongst them?--and were the properties of warm water so unknown to them, +that they could not close a pair of eyes and open them?" + +"It's a pity," said I, "that the British clergy, at that interview with +Austin, did not bring forward a blind Welshman, and ask the monk to +operate upon him." + +"Clearly," said the man in black; "that's what they ought to have done; +but they were fools without a single resource." Here he took a sip at +his glass. + +"But they did not believe in the miracle?" said I. + +"And what did their not believing avail them?" said the man in black. +"Austin remained master of the field, and they went away holding their +heads down, and muttering to themselves. What a fine subject for a +painting would be Austin's opening the eyes of the Saxon barbarian, and +the discomfiture of the British clergy! I wonder it has not been +painted!--he! he!" + +"I suppose your church still pet forms miracles occasionally?" said I. + +"It does," said the man in black. "The Rev. . . . has lately been +performing miracles in Ireland, destroying devils that had got possession +of people; he has been eminently successful. In two instances he not +only destroyed the devils, but the lives of the people possessed--he! he! +Oh! there is so much energy in our system; we are always at work, whilst +Protestantism is supine." + +"You must not imagine," said I, "that all Protestants are supine; some of +them appear to be filled with unbounded zeal. They deal, it is true, not +in lying miracles, but they propagate God's Word. I remember only a few +months ago, having occasion for a Bible, going to an establishment, the +object of which was to send Bibles all over the world. The supporters of +that establishment could have no self-interested views; for I was +supplied by them with a noble-sized Bible at a price so small as to +preclude the idea that it could bring any profit to the vendors." + +The countenance of the man in black slightly fell. "I know the people to +whom you allude," said he; "indeed, unknown to them, I have frequently +been to see them, and observed their ways. I tell you frankly that there +is not a set of people in this kingdom who have caused our church so much +trouble and uneasiness. I should rather say that they alone cause us +any; for as for the rest, what with their drowsiness, their plethora, +their folly, and their vanity, they are doing us anything but mischief. +These fellows are a pestilent set of heretics, whom we would gladly see +burnt; they are, with the most untiring perseverance, and in spite of +divers minatory declarations of the holy father, scattering their books +abroad through all Europe, and have caused many people in Catholic +countries to think that hitherto their priesthood have endeavoured, as +much as possible, to keep them blinded. There is one fellow amongst them +for whom we entertain a particular aversion; a big, burly parson, with +the face of a lion, the voice of a buffalo, and a fist like a +sledge-hammer. The last time I was there, I observed that his eye was +upon me, and I did not like the glance he gave me at all; I observed him +clench his fist, and I took my departure as fast as I conveniently could. +Whether he suspected who I was, I know not; but I did not like his look +at all, and do not intend to go again." + +"Well then," said I, "you confess that you have redoubtable enemies to +your plans in these regions, and that even amongst the ecclesiastics +there are some widely different from those of the plethoric and Platitude +schools." + +"It is but too true," said the man in black; "and if the rest of your +church were like them we should quickly bid adieu to all hope of +converting these regions, but we are thankful to be able to say that such +folks are not numerous; there are, moreover, causes at work quite +sufficient to undermine even their zeal. Their sons return at the +vacations, from Oxford and Cambridge, puppies, full of the nonsense which +they have imbibed from Platitude professors; and this nonsense they +retail at home, where it fails not to make some impression, whilst the +daughters scream--I beg their pardons--warble about Scotland's Montrose, +and Bonny Dundee, and all the Jacobs; so we have no doubt that their +papa's zeal about the propagation of such a vulgar book as the Bible will +in a very little time be terribly diminished. Old Rome will win, so you +had better join her." + +And the man in black drained the last drop in his glass. + +"Never," said I, "will I become the slave of Rome." + +"She will allow you latitude," said the man in black; "do but serve her, +and she will allow you to call her 'puta' at a decent time and place, her +popes occasionally call her 'puta.' A pope has been known to start from +his bed at midnight and rush out into the corridor, and call out 'puta' +three times in a voice which pierced the Vatican; that pope was . . ." + +"Alexander the Sixth, I dare say," said I; "the greatest monster that +ever existed, though the worthiest head which the popish system ever +had--so his conscience was not always still. I thought it had been +seared with a brand of iron." + +"I did not allude to him, but to a much more modern pope," said the man +in black; "it is true he brought the word, which is Spanish, from Spain, +his native country, to Rome. He was very fond of calling the church by +that name, and other popes have taken it up. She will allow you to call +her by it if you belong to her." + +"I shall call her so," said I, "without belonging to her, or asking her +permission." + +"She will allow you to treat her as such if you belong to her," said the +man in black. "There is a chapel in Rome, where there is a wondrously +fair statue--the son of a cardinal--I mean his nephew--once . . . Well, +she did not cut off his head, but slightly boxed his cheek and bade him +go." + +"I have read all about that in 'Keysler's Travels,'" said I; "do you tell +her that I would not touch her with a pair of tongs, unless to seize her +nose." + +"She is fond of lucre," said the man in black; "but does not grudge a +faithful priest a little private perquisite," and he took out a very +handsome gold repeater. + +"Are you not afraid," said I, "to flash that watch before the eyes of a +poor tinker in a dingle?" + +"Not before the eyes of one like you," said the man in black. + +"It is getting late," said I; "I care not for perquisites." + +"So you will not join us?" said the man in black. + +"You have had my answer," said I. + +"If I belong to Rome," said the man in black, "why should not you?" + +"I may be a poor tinker," said I; "but I may never have undergone what +you have. You remember, perhaps, the fable of the fox who had lost his +tail?" + +The man in black winced, but almost immediately recovering himself, he +said, "Well, we can do without you: we are sure of winning." + +"It is not the part of wise people," said I, "to make sure of the battle +before it is fought: there's the landlord of the public-house, who made +sure that his cocks would win, yet the cocks lost the main, and the +landlord is little better than a bankrupt." + +"People very different from the landlord," said the man in black, "both +in intellect and station, think we shall surely win; there are clever +machinators among us who have no doubt of our success." + +"Well," said I, "I will set the landlord aside, and will adduce one who +was in every point a very different person from the landlord, both in +understanding and station; he was very fond of laying schemes, and, +indeed, many of them turned out successful. His last and darling one, +however, miscarried, notwithstanding that by his calculations he had +persuaded himself that there was no possibility of its failing--the +person that I allude to was old Fraser . . ." + +"Who?" said the man in black, giving a start, and letting his glass fall. + +"Old Fraser, of Lovat," said I, "the prince of all conspirators and +machinators; he made sure of placing the Pretender on the throne of these +realms. 'I can bring into the field so many men,' said he; 'my son-in- +law, Cluny, so many, and likewise my cousin, and my good friend;' then +speaking of those on whom the government reckoned for support he would +say, 'So-and-so is lukewarm; this person is ruled by his wife, who is +with us; the clergy are anything but hostile to us; and as for the +soldiers and sailors, half are disaffected to King George, and the rest +cowards.' Yet when things came to a trial, this person whom he had +calculated upon to join the Pretender did not stir from his home, another +joined the hostile ranks, the presumed cowards turned out heroes, and +those whom he thought heroes ran away like lusty fellows at Culloden; in +a word, he found himself utterly mistaken, and in nothing more than +himself; he thought he was a hero, and proved himself nothing more than +an old fox; he got up a hollow tree, didn't he, just like a fox? + + "'L' opere sue non furon leonine, ma di volpe.'" {237} + +The man in black sat silent for a considerable time, and at length +answered, in rather a faltering voice, "I was not prepared for this; you +have frequently surprised me by your knowledge of things which I should +never have expected any person of your appearance to be acquainted with, +but that you should be aware of my name is a circumstance utterly +incomprehensible to me. I had imagined that no person in England was +acquainted with it; indeed, I don't see how any person should be, I have +revealed it to no one, not being particularly proud of it. Yes, I +acknowledge that my name is Fraser, and that I am of the blood of that +family or clan, of which the rector of our college once said that he was +firmly of opinion that every individual member was either rogue or fool. +I was born at Madrid, of pure, _oime_, Fraser blood. My parents at an +early age took me to [Rome], where they shortly died, not, however, +before they had placed me in the service of a cardinal, with whom I +continued some years, and who, when he had no further occasion for me, +sent me to the college, in the left-hand cloister of which, as you enter, +rest the bones of Sir John D[ereham]; there, in studying logic and humane +letters, I lost whatever of humanity I had retained when discarded by the +cardinal. Let me not, however, forget two points,--I am a Fraser, it is +true, but not a Flannagan; I may bear the vilest name of Britain, but not +of Ireland; I was bred up at the English house, and there is at [Rome] a +house for the education of bog-trotters; I was not bred up at that; +beneath the lowest gulf, there is one yet lower; whatever my blood may +be, it is at least not Irish; whatever my education may have been, I was +not bred at the Irish seminary--on those accounts I am thankful--yes, +_per dio_! I am thankful. After some years at college--but why should I +tell you my history, you know it already perfectly well, probably much +better than myself. I am now a missionary priest labouring in heretic +England, like Parsons and Garnet of old, save and except that, unlike +them, I run no danger, for the times are changed. As I told you before, +I shall cleave to Rome--I must; _no hay remedio_, as they say at Madrid, +and I will do my best to further her holy plans--he! he!--but I confess I +begin to doubt of their being successful here--you put me out; old +Fraser, of Lovat! I have heard my father talk of him; he had a +gold-headed cane, with which he once knocked my grandfather down--he was +an astute one, but as you say, mistaken, particularly in himself. I have +read his life by Arbuthnot, {238a} it is in the library of our college. +Farewell! I shall come no more to this dingle--to come would be of no +utility; I shall go and labour elsewhere, though . . . how you came to +know my name is a fact quite inexplicable--farewell! to you both." + +He then arose; and without further salutation departed from the dingle, +in which I never saw him again. {238b} + +"How, in the name of wonder, came you to know that man's name?" said +Belle, after he had been gone some time. + +"I, Belle? I knew nothing of the fellow's name, I assure you." + +"But you mentioned his name." + +"If I did, it was merely casually, by way of illustration. I was saying +how frequently cunning people were mistaken in their calculations, and I +adduced the case of old Fraser, of Lovat, as one in point; I brought +forward his name, because I was well-acquainted with his history, from +having compiled and inserted it in a wonderful work, which I edited some +months ago, entitled 'Newgate Lives and Trials,' but without the +slightest idea that it was the name of him who was sitting with us; he, +however, thought that I was aware of his name. Belle! Belle! for a long +time I doubted the truth of Scripture, owing to certain conceited +individuals, but now I begin to believe firmly; what wonderful texts are +in Scripture, Belle! 'The wicked trembleth where--where . . .'" + +"'They were afraid where no fear was; thou hast put them to confusion, +because God hath despised them,'" said Belle; "I have frequently read it +before the clergyman in the great house of Long Melford. But if you did +not know the man's name, why let him go away supposing that you did?" + +"Oh, if he was fool enough to make such a mistake, I was not going to +undeceive him--no, no! Let the enemies of old England make the most of +all their blunders and mistakes, they will have no help from me; but +enough of the fellow, Belle, let us now have tea, and after that . . ." + +"No Armenian," said Belle; "but I want to ask a question: pray are all +people of that man's name either rogues or fools?" + +"It is impossible for me to say, Belle, this person being the only one of +the name I have ever personally known. I suppose there are good and bad, +clever and foolish, amongst them, as amongst all large bodies of people; +however, after the tribe had been governed for upwards of thirty years by +such a person as old Fraser, it were no wonder if the greater part had +become either rogues or fools: he was a ruthless tyrant, Belle, over his +own people, and by his cruelty and rapaciousness must either have stunned +them into an apathy approaching to idiocy, or made them artful knaves in +their own defence. The qualities of parents are generally transmitted to +their descendants--the progeny of trained pointers are almost sure to +point, even without being taught: if, therefore, all Frasers are either +rogues or fools, as this person seems to insinuate, it is little to be +wondered at, their parents or grandparents having been in the training- +school of old Fraser! but enough of the old tyrant and his slaves. Belle, +prepare tea this moment, or dread my anger. I have not a gold-headed +cane like old Fraser of Lovat, but I have, what some people would dread +much more, an Armenian rune-stick." + + + + +CHAPTER XXI.--FRESH ARRIVALS--PITCHING THE TENT--CERTIFICATED WIFE--HIGH- +FLYING NOTIONS. + + +On the following morning, as I was about to leave my tent, I heard the +voice of Belle at the door, exclaiming, "Sleepest thou, or wakest thou?" +"I was never more awake in my life," said I, going out, "What is the +matter?" "He of the horse-shoe," said she, "Jasper, of whom I have heard +you talk, is above there on the field with all his people; I went about a +quarter of an hour ago to fill the kettle at the spring, and saw them +arriving." "It is well," said I; "have you any objection to asking him +and his wife to breakfast?" "You can do as you please," said she; "I +have cups enough, and have no objection to their company." "We are the +first occupiers of the ground," said I, "and, being so, should consider +ourselves in the light of hosts, and do our best to practise the duties +of hospitality." "How fond you are of using that word!" said Belle: "if +you wish to invite the man and his wife, do so, without more ado; +remember, however, that I have not cups enough, nor indeed tea enough, +for the whole company." Thereupon hurrying up the ascent, I presently +found myself outside the dingle. It was as usual a brilliant morning, +the dewy blades of the rye-grass which covered the plain sparkled +brightly in the beams of the sun, which had probably been about two hours +above the horizon. A rather numerous body of my ancient friends and +allies occupied the ground in the vicinity of the mouth of the dingle. +About five yards on the right I perceived Mr. Petulengro busily employed +in erecting his tent; he held in his hand an iron bar, sharp at the +bottom, with a kind of arm projecting from the top for the purpose of +supporting a kettle or cauldron over the fire, and which is called in the +Romanian language "Kekauviskoe saster." With the sharp end of this Mr. +Petulengro was making holes in the earth at about twenty inches' distance +from each other, into which he inserted certain long rods with a +considerable bend towards the top, which constituted no less than the +timbers of the tent, and the supporters of the canvas. Mrs. Petulengro +and a female with a crutch in her hand, whom I recognised as Mrs. Chikno, +sat near him on the ground, whilst two or three children, from six to ten +years old, who composed the young family of Mr. and Mrs. Petulengro, were +playing about. + +"Here we are, brother," said Mr. Petulengro, as he drove the sharp end of +the bar into the ground; "here we are, and plenty of us--Bute dosta +Romany chals." {242} + +"I am glad to see you all," said I; "and particularly you, madam," said +I, making a bow to Mrs. Petulengro; "and you also, madam," taking off my +hat to Mrs. Chikno. + +"Good day to you, sir," said Mrs. Petulengro; "you look as usual, +charmingly, and speak so, too; you have not forgot your manners." + +"It is not all gold that glitters," said Mrs. Chikno. "However, good- +morrow to you, young rye." + +"I do not see Tawno," said I, looking around; "where is he?" + +"Where, indeed!" said Mrs. Chikno; "I don't know; he who countenances him +in the roving line can best answer." + +"He will be here anon," said Mr. Petulengro; "he has merely ridden down a +by-road to show a farmer a two-year-old colt; she heard me give him +directions, but she can't be satisfied." + +"I can't indeed," said Mrs. Chikno. + +"And why not, sister?" + +"Because I place no confidence in your words, brother; as I said before, +you countenances him." + +"Well," said I, "I know nothing of your private concerns; I am come on an +errand. Isopel Berners, down in the dell there, requests the pleasure of +Mr. and Mrs. Petulengro's company at breakfast. She will be happy also +to see you, madam," said I, addressing Mrs. Chikno. + +"Is that young female your wife, young man?" said Mrs. Chikno. + +"My wife?" said I. + +"Yes, young man, your wife, your lawful certificated wife." + +"No," said I, "she is not my wife." + +"Then I will not visit with her," said Mrs. Chikno; "I countenance +nothing in the roving line." + +"What do you mean by the roving line?" I demanded. + +"What do I mean by the roving line? Why, by it I mean such conduct as is +no ttatcheno. {244a} When ryes and rawnies {244b} lives together in +dingles, without being certificated, I calls such behaviour being +tolerably deep in the roving line, everything savouring of which I am +determined not to sanctify. I have suffered too much by my own +certificated husband's outbreaks in that line to afford anything of the +kind the slightest shadow of countenance." + +"It is hard that people may not live in dingles together without being +suspected of doing wrong," said I. + +"So it is," said Mrs. Petulengro, interposing; "and, to tell you the +truth, I am altogether surprised at the illiberality of my sister's +remarks. I have often heard say, that is in good company--and I have +kept good company in my time--that suspicion is king's evidence of a +narrow and uncultivated mind; on which account I am suspicious of nobody, +not even of my own husband, whom some people would think I have a right +to be suspicious of, seeing that on his account I once refused a lord; +but ask him whether I am suspicious of him, and whether I seek to keep +him close tied to my apron-string; he will tell you nothing of the kind; +but that, on the contrary, I always allows him an agreeable latitude, +permitting him to go where he pleases, and to converse with any one to +whose manner of speaking he may take a fancy. But I have had the +advantage of keeping good company, and therefore . . ." + +"Meklis," {244c} said Mrs. Chikno, "pray drop all that, sister; I believe +I have kept as good company as yourself; and with respect to that offer +with which you frequently fatigue those who keeps company with you, I +believe, after all, it was something in the roving and uncertificated +line." + +"In whatever line it was," said Mrs. Petulengro, "the offer was a good +one. The young duke--for he was not only a lord, but a duke too--offered +to keep me a fine carriage, and to make me his second wife; for it is +true that he had another who was old and stout, though mighty rich, and +highly good-natured; so much so, indeed, that the young lord assured me +that she would have no manner of objection to the arrangement; more +especially if I would consent to live in the same house with her, being +fond of young and cheerful society. So you see . . ." + +"Yes, yes," said Mrs. Chikno, "I see, what I before thought, that it was +altogether in the uncertificated line." + +"Meklis," said Mrs. Petulengro, "I use your own word, madam, which is +Romany; for my own part, I am not fond of using Romany words, unless I +can hope to pass them off for French, which I cannot in the present +company. I heartily wish that there was no such language, and do my best +to keep it away from my children, lest the frequent use of it should +altogether confirm them in low and vulgar habits. I have four children, +madam, but . . ." + +"I suppose by talking of your four children you wish to check me for +having none," said Mrs. Chikno, bursting into tears; "if I have no +children, sister, it is no fault of mine, it is--but why do I call you +sister," said she angrily, "you are no sister of mine, you are a grasni, +a regular mare--a pretty sister, indeed, ashamed of your own language. I +remember well that by your high-flying notions you drove your own mother +. . ." + +"We will drop it," said Mrs. Petulengro; "I do not wish to raise my +voice, and to make myself ridiculous. Young gentleman," said she, "pray +present my compliments to Miss Isopel Berners, and inform her that I am +very sorry that I cannot accept her polite invitation. I am just +arrived, and have some slight domestic matters to see to, amongst others, +to wash my children's faces; but that in the course of the forenoon, when +I have attended to what I have to do, and have dressed myself, I hope to +do myself the honour of paying her a regular visit; you will tell her +that with my compliments. With respect to my husband he can answer for +himself, as I, not being of a jealous disposition, never interferes with +his matters." + +"And tell Miss Berners," said Mr. Petulengro, "that I shall be happy to +wait upon her in company with my wife as soon as we are regularly +settled; at present I have much on my hands, having not only to pitch my +own tent, but this here jealous woman's, whose husband is absent on my +business." + +Thereupon I returned to the dingle, and without saying anything about +Mrs. Chikno's observations, communicated to Isopel the messages of Mr. +and Mrs. Petulengro; Isopel made no other reply than by replacing in her +coffer two additional cups and saucers, which, in expectation of company, +she had placed upon the board. The kettle was by this time boiling. We +sat down, and as we breakfasted, I gave Isopel Berners another lesson in +the Armenian language. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII.--THE PROMISED VISIT--ROMAN FASHION--WIZARD AND +WITCH--CATCHING AT WORDS--THE TWO FEMALES--DRESSING OF HAIR--THE NEW +ROADS--BELLE'S ALTERED APPEARANCE--HERSELF AGAIN. + + +About mid-day Mr. and Mrs. Petulengro {247} came to the dingle to pay the +promised visit. Belle, at the time of their arrival, was in her tent, +but I was at the fireplace, engaged in hammering part of the outer-tire, +or defence, which had come off from one of the wheels of my vehicle. On +perceiving them I forthwith went to receive them. Mr. Petulengro was +dressed in Roman fashion, with a somewhat smartly-cut sporting-coat, the +buttons of which were half-crowns--and a waistcoat, scarlet and black, +the buttons of which were spaded half-guineas; his breeches were of a +stuff half velveteen, half corduroy, the cords exceedingly broad. He had +leggings of buff cloth, furred at the bottom: and upon his feet were +highlows. Under his left arm was a long black whalebone riding-whip, +with a red lash, and an immense silver knob. Upon his head was a hat +with a high peak, somewhat of the kind which the Spaniards call _calane_, +so much in favour with the bravos of Seville and Madrid. Now when I have +added that Mr. Petulengro had on a very fine white holland shirt, I think +I have described his array. Mrs. Petulengro--I beg pardon for not having +spoken of her first--was also arrayed very much in the Roman fashion. Her +hair, which was exceedingly black and lustrous, fell in braids on either +side of her head. In her ears were rings, with long drops of gold. Round +her neck was a string of what seemed very much like very large pearls, +somewhat tarnished, however, and apparently of considerable antiquity. +"Here we are, brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "here we are, come to see +you--wizard and witch, witch and wizard:-- + + "'There's a chovahanee, and a chovahano, {249a} + The nav se len is Petulengro.'" + +"Hold your tongue, sir," said Mrs. Petulengro; "you make me ashamed of +you with your vulgar ditties. We are come a-visiting now, and everything +low should be left behind." + +"True," said Mr. Petulengro; "why bring what's low to the dingle, which +is low enough already?" + +"What, are you a catcher at words?" said I. "I thought that catching at +words had been confined to the pothouse farmers and village witty +bodies." + +"All fools," said Mrs. Petulengro, "catch at words, and very naturally, +as by so doing they hope to prevent the possibility of rational +conversation. Catching at words confined to pothouse farmers and village +witty bodies! No, nor to Jasper Petulengro. Listen for an hour or two +to the discourse of a set they call newspaper editors, and if you don't +go out and eat grass, as a dog does when he is sick, I am no female +woman. The young lord whose hand I refused when I took up with wise +Jasper once brought two of them to my mother's tan, {249b} when hankering +after my company; they did nothing but carp at each other's words, and a +pretty hand they made of it. Ill-favoured dogs they were, and their +attempt at what they called wit almost as unfortunate as their +countenances." + +"Well," said I, "madam, we will drop all catchings and carpings for the +present. Pray take your seat on this stool, whilst I go and announce to +Miss Isopel Berners your arrival." + +Thereupon I went to Belle's habitation, and informed her that Mr. and +Mrs. Petulengro had paid us a visit of ceremony, and were awaiting her at +the fireplace. "Pray go and tell them that I am busy," said Belle, who +was engaged with her needle. "I do not feel disposed to take part in any +such nonsense." "I shall do no such thing," said I, "and I insist upon +your coming forthwith, and showing proper courtesy to your visitors. If +you do not their feelings will be hurt, and you are aware that I cannot +bear that people's feelings should be outraged. Come this moment, or . . ." +"Or what?" said Belle, half smiling. "I was about to say something +in Armenian," said I. "Well," said Belle, laying down her work, "I will +come." "Stay," said I, "your hair is hanging about your ears, and your +dress is in disorder; you had better stay a minute or two to prepare +yourself to appear before your visitors, who have come in their very best +attire." "No," said Belle, "I will make no alteration in my appearance; +you told me to come this moment, and you shall be obeyed." + +So Belle and I advanced towards our guests. As we drew nigh Mr. +Petulengro took off his hat and made a profound obeisance to Belle, +whilst Mrs. Petulengro rose from the stool and made a profound curtsey. +Belle, who had flung her hair back over her shoulders, returned their +salutations by bending her head, and after slightly glancing at Mr. +Petulengro, fixed her large blue eyes full upon his wife. Both these +females were very handsome--but how unlike! Belle fair, with blue eyes +and flaxen hair; Mrs. Petulengro with olive complexion, eyes black, and +hair dark--as dark as could be. Belle, in demeanour calm and proud; the +gypsy graceful, but full of movement and agitation. And then how +different were those two in stature! The head of the Romany rawnie +scarcely ascended to the breast of Isopel Berners. I could see that Mrs. +Petulengro gazed on Belle with unmixed admiration: so did her husband. +"Well," said the latter, "one thing I will say, which is, that there is +only one on earth worthy to stand up in front of this she, and that is +the beauty of the world, as far as man flesh is concerned, Tawno Chikno; +what a pity he did not come down!" + +"Tawno Chikno," said Mrs. Petulengro, flaring up; "a pretty fellow he to +stand up in front of this gentlewoman, a pity he didn't come, quotha? not +at all, the fellow is a sneak, afraid of his wife. He stand up against +this rawnie! why the look she has given me would knock the fellow down." + +"It is easier to knock him down with a look than with a fist," said Mr. +Petulengro; "that is, if the look comes from a woman: not that I am +disposed to doubt that this female gentlewoman is able to knock him down +either one way or the other. I have heard of her often enough, and have +seen her once or twice, though not so near as now. Well, ma'am, my wife +and I are come to pay our respects to you; we are both glad to find that +you have left off keeping company with Flaming Bosville, and have taken +up with my pal; he is not very handsome, but a better . . . ." + +"I take up with your pal, as you call him; you had better mind what you +say," said Isopel Berners; "I take up with nobody." + +"I merely mean taking up your quarters with him," said Mr. Petulengro; +"and I was only about to say a better fellow-lodger you cannot have, or a +more instructive, especially if you have a desire to be inoculated with +tongues, as he calls them. I wonder whether you and he have had any +tongue-work already." + +"Have you and your wife anything particular to say? If you have nothing +but this kind of conversation I must leave you, as I am going to make a +journey this afternoon, and should be getting ready." + +"You must excuse my husband, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro; "he is not +overburdened with understanding, and has said but one word of sense since +he has been here, which was that we came to pay our respects to you. We +have dressed ourselves in our best Roman way, in order to do honour to +you; perhaps you do not like it; if so, I am sorry. I have no French +clothes, madam; if I had any, madam, I would have come in them in order +to do you more honour." + +"I like to see you much better as you are," said Belle; "people should +keep to their own fashions, and yours is very pretty." + +"I am glad you are pleased to think it so, madam; it has been admired in +the great city, it created what they call a sensation, and some of the +great ladies, the court ladies, imitated it, else I should not appear in +it so often as I am accustomed; for I am not very fond of what is Roman, +having an imagination that what is Roman is ungenteel; in fact, I once +heard the wife of a rich citizen say that gypsies were vulgar creatures. +I should have taken her saying very much to heart, but for her improper +pronunciation; she could not pronounce her words, madam, which we +gypsies, as they call us, usually can, so I thought she was no very high +purchase. You are very beautiful, madam, though you are not dressed as I +could wish to see you, and your hair is hanging down in sad confusion; +allow me to assist you in arranging your hair, madam; I will dress it for +you in our fashion; I would fain see how your hair would look in our poor +gypsy fashion; pray allow me, madam?" and she took Belle by the hand. + +"I really can do no such thing," said Belle, withdrawing her hand; "I +thank you for coming to see me, but . . ." + +"Do allow me to officiate upon your hair, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro; +"I should esteem your allowing me a great mark of condescension. You are +very beautiful, madam, and I think you doubly so, because you are so +fair; I have a great esteem for persons with fair complexions and hair; I +have a less regard for people with dark hair and complexions, madam." + +"Then why did you turn off the lord, and take up with me?" said Mr. +Petulengro; "that same lord was fair enough all about him." + +"People do when they are young and silly what they sometimes repent of +when they are of riper years and understandings. I sometimes think that +had I not been something of a simpleton, I might at this time be a great +court lady. Now, madam," said she, again taking Belle by the hand, "do +oblige me by allowing me to plait your hair a little?" + +"I have really a good mind to be angry with you," said Belle, giving Mrs. +Petulengro a peculiar glance. + +"Do allow her to arrange your hair," said I, "she means no harm, and +wishes to do you honour; do oblige her and me too, for I should like to +see how your hair would look dressed in her fashion." + +"You hear what the young rye says?" said Mrs. Petulengro. "I am sure you +will oblige the young rye, if not myself. Many people would be willing +to oblige the young rye, if he would but ask them; but he is not in the +habit of asking favours. He has a nose of his own, which he keeps +tolerably exalted; he does not think small-beer of himself, madam; and +all the time I have been with him, I never heard him ask a favour before; +therefore, madam, I am sure you will oblige him. My sister Ursula would +be very willing to oblige him in many things, but he will not ask for +anything, except for such a favour as a word, which is a poor favour +after all. I don't mean for her word; perhaps he will some day ask you +for your word. If so . . ." + +"Why here you are, after railing at me for catching at words, catching at +a word yourself," said Mr. Petulengro. + +"Hold your tongue, sir," said Mrs. Petulengro. "Don't interrupt me in my +discourse; if I caught at a word now, I am not in the habit of doing so. +I am no conceited body; no newspaper Neddy; no pothouse witty person. I +was about to say, madam, that if the young rye asks you at any time for +your word, you will do as you deem convenient; but I am sure you will +oblige him by allowing me to braid your hair." + +"I shall not do it to oblige him," said Belle; "the young rye, as you +call him, is nothing to me." + +"Well, then, to oblige me," said Mrs. Petulengro; "do allow me to become +your poor tire-woman." + +"It is great nonsense," said Belle, reddening; "however, as you came to +see me, and ask the matter as a particular favour to yourself . . ." + +"Thank you, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro, leading Belle to the stool; +"please to sit down here. Thank you; your hair is very beautiful, +madam," she continued as she proceeded to braid Belle's hair; "so is your +countenance. Should you ever go to the great city, among the grand +folks, you would make a sensation, madam. I have made one myself, who am +dark; the chi she is kauley, which last word signifies black, which I am +not, though rather dark. There's no colour like white, madam; it's so +lasting, so genteel. Gentility will carry the day, madam, even with the +young rye. He will ask words of the black lass, but beg the word of the +fair." + +In the meantime Mr. Petulengro and myself entered into conversation. "Any +news stirring, Mr. Petulengro?" said I. "Have you heard anything of the +great religious movements?" + +"Plenty," said Mr. Petulengro; "all the religious people, more especially +the Evangelicals--those that go about distributing tracts--are very angry +about the fight between Gentleman Cooper and White-headed Bob, which they +say ought not to have been permitted to take place; and then they are +trying all they can to prevent the fight between the lion and the dogs, +{256} which they say is a disgrace to a Christian country. Now, I can't +say that I have any quarrel with the religious party and the +Evangelicals; they are always civil to me and mine, and frequently give +us tracts, as they call them, which neither I nor mine can read; but I +cannot say that I approve of any movements, religious or not, which have +in aim to put down all life and manly sport in this here country." + +"Anything else?" said I. + +"People are becoming vastly sharp," said Mr. Petulengro; "and I am told +that all the old-fashioned, good-tempered constables are going to be set +aside, and a paid body of men to be established, {257} who are not to +permit a tramper or vagabond on the roads of England;--and talking of +roads puts me in mind of a strange story I heard two nights ago, whilst +drinking some beer at a public-house, in company with my cousin +Sylvester. I had asked Tawno to go, but his wife would not let him. Just +opposite me, smoking their pipes, were a couple of men, something like +engineers, and they were talking of a wonderful invention which was to +make a wonderful alteration in England; inasmuch as it would set aside +all the old roads, which in a little time would be ploughed up, and sowed +with corn, and cause all England to be laid down with iron roads, on +which people would go thundering along in vehicles, pushed forward by +fire and smoke. Now, brother, when I heard this, I did not feel very +comfortable; for I thought to myself, what a queer place such a road +would be to pitch one's tent upon, and how impossible it would be for +one's cattle to find a bite of grass upon it; and I thought likewise of +the danger to which one's family would be exposed of being run over and +severely scorched by these same flying, fiery vehicles; so I made bold to +say that I hoped such an invention would never be countenanced, because +it was likely to do a great deal of harm. Whereupon, one of the men, +giving me a glance, said, without taking the pipe out of his mouth, that +for his part he sincerely hoped that it would take effect; and if it did +no other good than stopping the rambles of gypsies, and other like +scamps, it ought to be encouraged. Well, brother, feeling myself +insulted, I put my hand into my pocket, in order to pull out money, +intending to challenge him to fight for a five-shilling stake, but merely +found sixpence, having left all my other money at the tent; which +sixpence was just sufficient to pay for the beer which Sylvester and +myself were drinking, of whom I couldn't hope to borrow anything--'poor +as Sylvester' being a by-word amongst us. So, not being able to back +myself, I held my peace, and let the Gorgio have it all his own way, who, +after turning up his nose at me, went on discoursing about the said +invention, saying what a fund of profit it would be to those who knew how +to make use of it, and should have the laying down of the new roads, and +the shoeing of England with iron. And after he had said this, and much +more of the same kind, which I cannot remember, he and his companion got +up and walked away; and presently I and Sylvester got up and walked to +our camp; and there I lay down in my tent by the side of my wife, where I +had an ugly dream of having camped upon an iron road; my tent being +overturned by a flying vehicle; my wife's leg injured; and all my affairs +put into great confusion." + +"Now, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro, "I have braided your hair in our +fashion: you look very beautiful, madam; more beautiful, if possible, +than before." Belle now rose, and came forward with her tire-woman. Mr. +Petulengro was loud in his applause, but I said nothing, for I did not +think Belle was improved in appearance by having submitted to the +ministry of Mrs. Petulengro's hand. Nature never intended Belle to +appear as a gypsy; she had made her too proud and serious. A more proper +part for her was that of a heroine, a queenly heroine,--that of Theresa +of Hungary, for example; or, better still, that of Brynhilda the +Valkyrie, the beloved of Sigurd, the serpent-killer, who incurred the +curse of Odin, because, in the tumult of spears, she sided with the young +king, and doomed the old warrior to die, to whom Odin had promised +victory. + +Belle looked at me for a moment in silence; then turning to Mrs. +Petulengro, she said, "You have had your will with me; are you +satisfied?" "Quite so, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro, "and I hope you +will be so too, as soon as you have looked in the glass." "I have looked +in one already," said Belle, "and the glass does not flatter." "You mean +the face of the young rye," said Mrs. Petulengro; "never mind him, madam; +the young rye, though he knows a thing or two, is not a university, nor a +person of universal wisdom. I assure you that you never looked so well +before; and I hope that, from this moment, you will wear your hair in +this way." "And who is to braid it in this way?" said Belle, smiling. +"I, madam," said Mrs. Petulengro, "I will braid it for you every morning, +if you will but be persuaded to join us. Do so, madam, and I think, if +you did, the young rye would do so too." "The young rye is nothing to +me, nor I to him," said Belle; "we have stayed some time together; but +our paths will soon be apart. Now, farewell, for I am about to take a +journey." "And you will go out with your hair as I have braided it," +said Mrs. Petulengro; "if you do, everybody will be in love with you." +"No," said Belle, "hitherto I have allowed you to do what you please, but +henceforth I shall have my own way. Come, come," said she, observing +that the gypsy was about to speak, "we have had enough of nonsense; +whenever I leave this hollow, it will be wearing my hair in my own +fashion." "Come, wife," said Mr. Petulengro, "we will no longer intrude +upon the rye and rawnie, there is such a thing as being troublesome." +Thereupon Mr. Petulengro and his wife took their leave, with many +salutations. "Then you are going?" said I, when Belle and I were left +alone. "Yes," said Belle, "I am going on a journey; my affairs compel +me." "But you will return again?" said I. "Yes," said Belle, "I shall +return once more." "Once more," said I; "what do you mean by once more? +The Petulengros will soon be gone, and will you abandon me in this +place?" "You were alone here," said Belle, "before I came, and, I +suppose, found it agreeable, or you would not have stayed in it." "Yes," +said I, "that was before I knew you; but having lived with you here, I +should be very loth to live here without you." "Indeed," said Belle, "I +did not know that I was of so much consequence to you. Well, the day is +wearing away--I must go and harness Traveller to the cart." "I will do +that," said I, "or anything else you may wish me. Go and prepare +yourself; I will see after Traveller and the cart." Belle departed to +her tent, and I set about performing the task I had undertaken. In about +half-an-hour Belle again made her appearance--she was dressed neatly and +plainly. Her hair was no longer in the Roman fashion, in which Pakomovna +had plaited it, but was secured by a comb; she held a bonnet in her hand. +"Is there anything else I can do for you?" I demanded. "There are two or +three bundles by my tent, which you can put into the cart," said Belle. I +put the bundles into the cart, and then led Traveller and the cart up the +winding path, to the mouth of the dingle, near which was Mr. Petulengro's +encampment. Belle followed. At the top, I delivered the reins into her +hands; we looked at each other steadfastly for some time. Belle then +departed and I returned to the dingle, where, seating myself on my stone, +I remained for upwards of an hour in thought. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII.--THE FESTIVAL--THE GYPSY SONG--PIRAMUS OF ROME--THE +SCOTCHMAN--GYPSY NAMES. + + +On the following day there was much feasting amongst the Romany chals of +Mr. Petulengro's party. Throughout the forenoon the Romany chies did +scarcely anything but cook flesh, and the flesh which they cooked was +swine's flesh. About two o'clock, the chals and chies dividing +themselves into various parties, sat down and partook of the fare, which +was partly roasted, partly sodden. I dined that day with Mr. Petulengro +and his wife and family, Ursula, Mr. and Mrs. Chikno, and Sylvester and +his two children. Sylvester, it will be as well to say, was a widower, +and had consequently no one to cook his victuals for him, supposing he +had any, which was not always the case, Sylvester's affairs being seldom +in a prosperous state. He was noted for his bad success in trafficking, +notwithstanding the many hints which he received from Jasper, under whose +protection he had placed himself, even as Tawno Chikno had done, who +himself, as the reader has heard on a former occasion, was anything but a +wealthy subject, though he was at all times better off than Sylvester, +the Lazarus of the Romany tribe. + +All our party ate with a good appetite, except myself, who, feeling +rather melancholy that day, had little desire to eat. I did not, like +the others, partake of the pork, but got my dinner entirely off the body +of a squirrel which had been shot the day before by a chal of the name of +Piramus, who, besides being a good shot, was celebrated for his skill in +playing on the fiddle. During the dinner a horn filled with ale passed +frequently around, I drank of it more than once, and felt inspirited by +the draughts. The repast concluded, Sylvester and his children departed +to their tent, and Mr. Petulengro, Tawno, and myself getting up, went and +lay down under a shady hedge, where Mr. Petulengro, lighting his pipe, +began to smoke, and where Tawno presently fell asleep. I was about to +fall asleep also, when I heard the sound of music and song. Piramus was +playing on the fiddle, whilst Mrs. Chikno, who had a voice of her own, +was singing in tones sharp enough, but of great power, a gypsy song:-- + + POISONING THE PORKER. + BY MRS. CHIKNO. + + To mande shoon ye Romany chals + Who besh in the pus about the yag, + I'll pen how we drab the baulo, + I'll pen how we drab the baulo. + + We jaws to the drab-engro ker, + Trin horsworth there of drab we lels, + And when to the swety back we wels + We pens we'll drab the baulo, + We'll have a drab at a baulo. + + And then we kairs the drab opre, + And then we jaws to the farming ker + To mang a beti habben, + A beti poggado habben. + + A rinkeno baulo there we dick, + And then we pens in Romano jib; + Wust lis odoi opre ye chick, + And the baulo he will lel lis, + The baulo he will lel lis. + + Coliko, coliko saulo we + Apopli to the farming ker + Will wel and mang him mullo, + Will wel and mang his truppo. + + And so we kairs, and so we kairs; + The baulo in the rarde mers; + We mang him on the saulo, + And rig to the tan the baulo. + + And then we toves the wendror well + Till sore the wendror iuziou se, + Till kekkeno drab's adrey lis + Till drab there's kek adrey lis. + + And then his truppo well we hatch, + Kin levinor at the kitchema, + And have a kosko habben, + A kosko Romano habben. + + The boshom engro kils, he kils, + The tawnie juva gils, she gils + A puro Romano gillie, + Now shoon the Romano gillie. + +Which song I had translated in the following manner, in my younger days, +for a lady's album. + + Listen to me ye Roman lads, who are seated in the straw about the + fire, and I will tell how we poison the porker, I will tell how we + poison the porker. + + We go to the house of the poison monger (_i.e_. the apothecary), where + we buy three pennies' worth of bane, and when we return to our people + we say, we will poison the porker; we will try and poison the porker. + + We then make up the poison, and then we take our way to the house of + the farmer, as if to beg a bit of victuals, a little broken victuals. + + We see a jolly porker, and then we say in Roman language, "Fling the + bane yonder amongst the dirt, and the porker soon will find it, the + porker soon will find it." + + Early on the morrow, we will return to the farmhouse, and beg the dead + porker, the body of the dead porker. + + And so we do, even so we do; the porker dieth during the night; on the + morrow we beg the porker, and carry to the tent the porker. + + And then we wash the inside well, till all the inside is perfectly + clean, till there's no bane within it, not a poison grain within it. + + And then we roast the body well, send for ale to the ale-house, and + have a merry banquet, a merry Roman banquet. + + The fellow with the fiddle plays, he plays; the little lassie sings, + she sings an ancient Roman ditty; now hear the Roman ditty. + + SONG OF THE BROKEN CHASTITY. {265} + BY URSULA. + + Penn'd the Romany chi ke laki dye + "Miry dearie dye mi shom cambri!" + "And savo kair'd tute cambri, + Miry dearie chi, miry Romany chi?" + "O miry dye a boro rye, + A bovalo rye, a gorgiko rye, + Sos kistur pre a pellengo grye, + 'Twas yov sos kerdo man cambri." + "Tu tawnie vassavie lubbeny, + Tu chal from miry tan abri; + Had a Romany chal kair'd tute cambri, + Then I had penn'd ke tute chie, + But tu shan a vassavie lubbeny + With gorgikie rat to be cambri." + +"There's some kernel in those songs, brother," said Mr Petulengro, when +the songs and music were over. + +"Yes," said I, "they are certainly very remarkable songs. I say, Jasper, +I hope you have not been drabbing baulor {266} lately." + +"And suppose we have, brother, what then?" + +"Why, it is a very dangerous practice, to say nothing of the wickedness +of it." + +"Necessity has no law, brother." + +"That is true," said I, "I have always said so, but you are not +necessitous, and should not drab baulor." + +"And who told you we had been drabbing baulor?" + +"Why, you have had a banquet of pork, and after the banquet Mrs. Chikno +sang a song about drabbing baulor, so I naturally thought you might have +lately been engaged in such a thing" + +"Brother, you occasionally utter a word or two of common sense. It was +natural for you to suppose, after seeing that dinner of pork, and hearing +that song, that we had been drabbing baulor; I will now tell you that we +have not been doing so. What have you to say to that?" + +"That I am very glad of it." + +"Had you tasted that pork, brother, you would have found that it was +sweet and tasty, which balluva that is drabbed can hardly be expected to +be. We have no reason to drab baulor at present, we have money and +credit; but necessity has no law. Our forefathers occasionally drabbed +baulor, some of our people may still do such a thing, but only from +compulsion." + +"I see," said I; "and at your merry meetings you sing songs upon the +compulsatory deeds of your people, alias their villainous actions; and, +after all, what would the stirring poetry of any nation be, but for its +compulsatory deeds? Look at the poetry of Scotland, the heroic part, +founded almost entirely on the villainous deeds of the Scotch nation; cow- +stealing, for example, which is very little better than drabbing baulor; +whilst the softer part is mostly about the slips of its females among the +broom, so that no upholder of Scotch poetry could censure Ursula's song +as indelicate, even if he understood it. What do you think, Jasper?" + +"I think, brother, as I before said, that occasionally you utter a word +of common sense. You were talking of the Scotch, brother; what do you +think of a Scotchman finding fault with Romany?" + +"A Scotchman finding fault with Romany, Jasper! Oh dear, but you joke, +the thing could never be." + +"Yes, and at Piramus's fiddle; what do you think of a Scotchman turning +up his nose at Piramus's fiddle?" + +"A Scotchman turning up his nose at Piramus's fiddle! nonsense, Jasper." + +"Do you know what I most dislike, brother?" + +"I do not, unless it be the constable, Jasper." + +"It is not the constable, it's a beggar on horseback, brother." + +"What do you mean by a beggar on horseback?" + +"Why, a scamp, brother, raised above his proper place, who takes every +opportunity of giving himself fine airs. About a week ago, my people and +myself camped on a green by a plantation in the neighbourhood of a great +house. In the evening we were making merry, the girls were dancing, +while Piramus was playing on the fiddle a tune of his own composing, to +which he has given his own name, Piramus of Rome, and which is much +celebrated amongst our people, and from which I have been told that one +of the grand gorgio composers, who once heard it, has taken several +hints. So, as we were making merry, a great many grand people, lords and +ladies, I believe, came from the great house and looked on, as the girls +danced to the tune of Piramus of Rome, and seemed much pleased; and when +the girls had left off dancing, and Piramus playing, the ladies wanted to +have their fortunes told; so I bade Mikailia Chikno, who can tell a +fortune when she pleases better than any one else, tell them a fortune, +and she, being in a good mind, told them a fortune which pleased them +very much. So, after they had heard their fortunes, one of them asked if +any of our women could sing; and I told them several could, more +particularly Leviathan--you know Leviathan, she is not here now, but some +miles distant, she is our best singer, Ursula coming next. So the lady +said she should like to hear Leviathan sing, whereupon Leviathan sang the +Gudlo pesham, {269a} and Piramus played the tune of the same name, which, +as you know, means the honeycomb, the song and the tune being well +entitled to the name, being wonderfully sweet. Well, everybody present +seemed mighty well pleased with the song and music, with the exception of +one person, a carroty-haired Scotch body; how he came there I don't know, +but there he was; and, coming forward, he began in Scotch as broad as a +barn-door to find fault with the music and the song, saying that he had +never heard viler stuff than either. Well, brother, out of consideration +for the civil gentry with whom the fellow had come, I held my peace for a +long time, and in order to get the subject changed, I said to Mikailia in +Romany, you have told the ladies their fortunes, now tell the gentlemen +theirs, quick quick,--pen lende dukkerin. {269b} Well, brother, the +Scotchman, I suppose, thinking I was speaking ill of him, fell into a +greater passion than before, and catching hold of the word +dukkerin--'Dukkerin,' said he, 'what's dukkerin?' 'Dukkerin,' said I, +'is fortune, a man or woman's destiny; don't you like the word?' 'Word! +d'ye ca' that a word? a bonnie word,' said he. 'Perhaps you'll tell us +what it is in Scotch,' said I, 'in order that we may improve our language +by a Scotch word; a pal of mine has told me that we have taken a great +many words from foreign lingos.' 'Why, then, if that be the case, +fellow, I will tell you; it is e'en "spaeing,"' said he, very seriously. +'Well, then,' said I, 'I'll keep my own word, which is much the +prettiest--spaeing! spaeing! why, I should be ashamed to make use of the +word, it sounds so much like a certain other word;' and then I made a +face as if I were unwell. 'Perhaps it's Scotch also for that?' 'What do +you mean by speaking in that guise to a gentleman?' said he, 'you +insolent vagabond, without a name or a country.' 'There you are +mistaken,' said I, 'my country is Egypt, but we 'Gyptians, like you +Scotch, are rather fond of travelling; and as for name--my name is Jasper +Petulengro, perhaps you have a better; what is it?' 'Sandy Macraw.' At +that, brother, the gentlemen burst into a roar of laughter, and all the +ladies tittered." + +"You were rather severe on the Scotchman, Jasper." + +"Not at all, brother, and suppose I were, he began first; I am the +civilest man in the world, and never interfere with anybody who lets me +and mine alone. He finds fault with Romany, forsooth! why, L---d +A'mighty, what's Scotch? He doesn't like our songs; what are his own? I +understand them as little as he mine; I have heard one or two of them, +and pretty rubbish they seemed. But the best of the joke is the fellow's +finding fault with Piramus's fiddle--a chap from the land of bagpipes +finding fault with Piramus's fiddle! Why, I'll back that fiddle against +all the bagpipes in Scotland, and Piramus against all the bagpipers; for +though Piramus weighs but ten stone, he shall flog a Scotchman of +twenty." + +"Scotchmen are never so fat as that," said I, "unless, indeed, they have +been a long time pensioners of England. I say, Jasper, what remarkable +names your people have!" + +"And what pretty names, brother; there's my own, for example, Jasper; +then there's Ambrose and Sylvester; then there's Culvato, which signifies +Claude; then there's Piramus, that's a nice name, brother." + +"Then there's your wife's name, Pakomovna; then there's Ursula and +Morella." + +"Then, brother, there's Ercilla." + +"Ercilla! the name of the great poet of Spain, how wonderful; then +Leviathan." + +"The name of a ship, brother; Leviathan was named after a ship, so don't +make a wonder out of her. But there's Sanpriel and Synfye." + +"Ay, and Clementina and Lavinia, Camillia and Lydia, Curlanda and +Orlanda; wherever did they get those names?" + +"Where did my wife get her necklace, brother?" + +"She knows best, Jasper. I hope . . ." + +"Come, no hoping! She got it from her grandmother, who died at the age +of a hundred and three, and sleeps in Coggeshall churchyard. She got it +from her mother, who also died very old, and could give no other account +of it than that it had been in the family time out of mind." + +"Whence could they have got it?" + +"Why, perhaps where they got their names, brother. A gentleman, who had +travelled much, once told me that he had seen the sister of it about the +neck of an Indian queen." + +"Some of your names, Jasper, appear to be church names; your own, for +example, and Ambrose, and Sylvester; perhaps you got them from the +Papists, in the times of Popery; but where did you get such a name as +Piramus, a name of Grecian romance? Then some of them appear to be +Slavonian; for example, Mikailia and Pakomovna. I don't know much of +Slavonian; but . . ." + +"What is Slavonian, brother?" + +"The family name of certain nations, the principal of which is the +Russian, and from which the word slave is originally derived. You have +heard of the Russians, Jasper?" + +"Yes, brother; and seen some. I saw their crallis at the time of the +peace; he was not a bad-looking man for a Russian." + +"By-the-bye, Jasper, I'm half inclined to think that crallis {272} is a +Slavish word. I saw something like it in a lil called 'Voltaire's Life +of Charles XII.' How you should have come by such names and words is to +me incomprehensible." + +"You seem posed, brother." + +"I really know very little about you, Jasper." + +"Very little indeed, brother. We know very little about ourselves; and +you know nothing, save what we have told you; and we have now and then +told you things about us which are not exactly true, simply to make a +fool of you, brother. You will say that was wrong; perhaps it was. Well, +Sunday will be here in a day or two, when we will go to church, where +possibly we shall hear a sermon on the disastrous consequences of lying." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV.--THE CHURCH--THE ARISTOCRATICAL PEW--DAYS OF YORE--THE +CLERGYMAN--"IN WHAT WOULD A MAN BE PROFITED?" + + +When two days had passed, Sunday came; I breakfasted by myself in the +solitary dingle; and then, having set things a little to rights, I +ascended to Mr. Petulengro's encampment. I could hear church-bells +ringing around in the distance, appearing to say, "Come to church, come +to church," as clearly as it was possible for church-bells to say. I +found Mr. Petulengro seated by the door of his tent, smoking his pipe, in +rather an ungenteel undress. "Well, Jasper," said I, "are you ready to +go to church? for if you are, I am ready to accompany you." "I am not +ready, brother," said Mr. Petulengro, "nor is my wife; the church, too, +to which we shall go is three miles off; so it is of no use to think of +going there this morning, as the service would be three-quarters over +before we got there; if, however, you are disposed to go in the +afternoon, we are your people." Thereupon I returned to my dingle, where +I passed several hours in conning the Welsh Bible, which the preacher, +Peter Williams, {274} had given me. + +At last I gave over reading, took a slight refreshment, and was about to +emerge from the dingle, when I heard the voice of Mr. Petulengro calling +me. I went up again to the encampment, where I found Mr. Petulengro, his +wife, and Tawno Chikno, ready to proceed to church. Mr. and Mrs. +Petulengro were dressed in Roman fashion, though not in the full-blown +manner in which they had paid their visit to Isopel and myself. Tawno +had on a clean white slop, with a nearly new black beaver, with very +broad rims, and the nap exceedingly long. As for myself, I was dressed +in much the same manner as that in which I departed from London, having +on, in honour of the day, a shirt perfectly clean, having washed one on +purpose for the occasion, with my own hands, the day before, in the pond +of tepid water in which the newts and efts were in the habit of taking +their pleasure. We proceeded for upwards of a mile, by footpaths through +meadows and corn-fields; we crossed various stiles; at last, passing over +one, we found ourselves in a road, wending along which for a considerable +distance, we at last came in sight of a church, the bells of which had +been tolling distinctly in our ears for some time; before, however, we +reached the churchyard the bells had ceased their melody. It was +surrounded by lofty beech-trees of brilliant green foliage. We entered +the gate, Mrs. Petulengro leading the way, and proceeded to a small door +near the east end of the church. As we advanced, the sound of singing +within the church rose upon our ears. Arrived at the small door, Mrs. +Petulengro opened it and entered, followed by Tawno Chikno. I myself +went last of all, following Mr. Petulengro, who, before I entered, turned +round and, with a significant nod, advised me to take care how I behaved. +The part of the church {275} which we had entered was the chancel; on one +side stood a number of venerable old men--probably the neighbouring +poor--and on the other a number of poor girls belonging to the village +school, dressed in white gowns and straw bonnets, whom two elegant but +simply dressed young women were superintending. Every voice seemed to be +united in singing a certain anthem, which, notwithstanding it was written +neither by Tate nor Brady, contains some of the sublimest words which +were ever put together, not the worst of which are those which burst on +our ears as we entered. + + "Every eye shall now behold Him, + Robed in dreadful majesty; + Those who set at nought and sold Him, + Pierced and nailed Him to the tree, + Deeply wailing, + Shall the true Messiah see." + +Still following Mrs. Petulengro, we proceeded down the chancel and along +the aisle; notwithstanding the singing, I could distinctly hear as we +passed many a voice whispering, "Here come the gypsies! here come the +gypsies!" I felt rather embarrassed, with a somewhat awkward doubt as to +where we were to sit; none of the occupiers of the pews, who appeared to +consist almost entirely of farmers, with their wives, sons, and +daughters, opened a door to admit us. Mrs. Petulengro, however, appeared +to feel not the least embarrassment, but tripped along the aisle with the +greatest nonchalance. We passed under the pulpit, in which stood the +clergyman in his white surplice, and reached the middle of the church, +where we were confronted by the sexton, dressed in a long blue coat, and +holding in his hand a wand. This functionary motioned towards the lower +end of the church, where were certain benches, partly occupied by poor +people and boys. Mrs. Petulengro, however, with a toss of her head, +directed her course to a magnificent pew, which was unoccupied, which she +opened and entered, followed closely by Tawno Chikno, Mr. Petulengro, and +myself. The sexton did not appear by any means to approve of the +arrangement, and as I stood next the door laid his finger on my arm, as +if to intimate that myself and companions must quit our aristocratical +location. I said nothing, but directed my eyes to the clergyman, who +uttered a short and expressive cough; the sexton looked at him for a +moment, and then, bowing his head, closed the door--in a moment more the +music ceased. I took up a prayer-book, on which was engraved an earl's +coronet. The clergyman uttered, "I will arise, and go to my father." +England's sublime liturgy had commenced. + +Oh, what feelings came over me on finding myself again in an edifice +devoted to the religion of my country! I had not been in such a place I +cannot tell how long--certainly not for years; and now I had found my way +there again, it appeared as if I had fallen asleep in the pew of the old +church of pretty D[ereham]. I had occasionally done so when a child, and +had suddenly woke up. Yes, surely I had been asleep and had woken up; +but, no! alas, no! I had not been asleep--at least not in the old +church--if I had been asleep I had been walking in my sleep, struggling, +striving, learning, and unlearning in my sleep. Years had rolled away +whilst I had been asleep--ripe fruit had fallen, green fruit had come on +whilst I had been asleep--how circumstances had altered, and above all +myself, whilst I had been asleep. No, I had not been asleep in the old +church! I was in a pew it is true, but not the pew of black leather, in +which I sometimes fell asleep in days of yore, but in a strange pew; and +then my companions, they were no longer those of days of yore. I was no +longer with my respectable father and mother, and my dear brother, but +with the gypsy cral {277} and his wife, and the gigantic Tawno, the +Antinous of the dusky people. And what was I myself? No longer an +innocent child, but a moody man, bearing in my face, as I knew well, the +marks of my strivings and strugglings, of what I had learned and +unlearned; nevertheless, the general aspect of things brought to my mind +what I had felt and seen of yore. There was difference enough it is +true, but still there was a similarity--at least I thought so,--the +church, the clergyman, and the clerk differing in many respects from +those of pretty D . . ., put me strangely in mind of them; and then the +words!--by-the-bye, was it not the magic of the words which brought the +dear enchanting past so powerfully before the mind of Lavengro? for the +words were the same sonorous words of high import which had first made an +impression on his childish ear in the old church of pretty Dereham. + +The liturgy was now over, during the reading of which my companions +behaved in a most unexceptional manner, sitting down and rising up when +other people sat down and rose, and holding in their hands prayer-books +which they found in the pew, into which they stared intently, though I +observed that, with the exception of Mrs. Petulengro, who knew how to +read a little, they held the books by the top, and not the bottom, as is +the usual way. The clergyman now ascended the pulpit, arrayed in his +black gown. The congregation composed themselves to attention, as did +also my companions, who fixed their eyes upon the clergyman with a +certain strange immovable stare, which I believe to be peculiar to their +race. The clergyman gave out his text, and began to preach. He was a +tall, gentlemanly man, seemingly between fifty and sixty, with greyish +hair; his features were very handsome, but with a somewhat melancholy +cast: the tones of his voice were rich and noble, but also with somewhat +of melancholy in them. The text which he gave out was the following one: +"In what would a man be profited, provided he gained the whole world, and +lost his own soul?" + +And on this text the clergyman preached long and well: he did not read +his sermon, but spoke it extempore; his doing so rather surprised and +offended me at first; I was not used to such a style of preaching in a +church devoted to the religion of my country. I compared it within my +mind with the style of preaching used by the high-church rector in the +old church of pretty D . . ., and I thought to myself it was very +different, and being very different I did not like it, and I thought to +myself how scandalised the people of D . . . would have been had they +heard it, and I figured to myself how indignant the high-church clerk +would have been had any clergyman got up in the church of D . . . and +preached in such a manner. Did it not savour strongly of dissent, +methodism, and similar low stuff? Surely it did; why, the Methodist I +had heard preach on the heath above the old city, preached in the same +manner--at least he preached extempore; ay, and something like the +present clergyman, for the Methodist spoke very zealously and with great +feeling, and so did the present clergyman; so I, of course, felt rather +offended with the clergyman for speaking with zeal and feeling. However, +long before the sermon was over I forgot the offence which I had taken, +and listened to the sermon with much admiration, for the eloquence and +powerful reasoning with which it abounded. + +Oh, how eloquent he was, when he talked on the inestimable value of a +man's soul, which he said endured for ever, whilst his body, as every one +knew, lasted at most for a very contemptible period of time; and how +forcibly he reasoned on the folly of a man, who, for the sake of gaining +the whole world--a thing, he said, which provided he gained he could only +possess for a part of the time, during which his perishable body +existed--should lose his soul, that is, cause that precious deathless +portion of him to suffer indescribable misery time without end. + +There was one part of his sermon which struck me in a very particular +manner: he said, "That there were some people who gained something in +return for their souls; if they did not get the whole world, they got a +part of it--lands, wealth, honour, or renown; mere trifles, he allowed, +in comparison with the value of a man's soul, which is destined either to +enjoy delight, or suffer tribulation time without end; but which, in the +eyes of the worldly, had a certain value, and which afforded a certain +pleasure and satisfaction. But there were also others who lost their +souls, and got nothing for them--neither lands, wealth, renown, nor +consideration, who were poor outcasts, and despised by everybody. My +friends," he added, "if the man is a fool who barters his soul for the +whole world, what a fool he must be who barters his soul for nothing!" + +The eyes of the clergyman, as he uttered these words, wandered around the +whole congregation; and when he had concluded them, the eyes of the whole +congregation were turned upon my companions and myself. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV.--RETURN FROM CHURCH--THE CUCKOO AND GYPSY--SPIRITUAL +DISCOURSE. + + +The service over, my companions and myself returned towards the +encampment by the way we came. Some of the humble part of the +congregation laughed and joked at us as we passed. Mr. Petulengro and +his wife, however, returned their laughs and jokes with interest. As for +Tawno and myself, we said nothing: Tawno, like most handsome fellows, +having very little to say for himself at any time; and myself, though not +handsome, not being particularly skilful at repartee. Some boys followed +us for a considerable time, making all kinds of observations about +gypsies; but as we walked at a great pace, we gradually left them behind, +and at last lost sight of them. Mrs. Petulengro and Tawno Chikno walked +together, even as they had come; whilst Mr. Petulengro and myself +followed at a little distance. + +"That was a very fine preacher we heard," said I to Mr. Petulengro, after +we had crossed the stile into the fields. + +"Very fine, indeed, brother," said Mr. Petulengro; "he is talked of, far +and wide, for his sermons; folks say that there is scarcely another like +him in the whole of England." + +"He looks rather melancholy, Jasper." + +"He lost his wife several years ago, who, they say, was one of the most +beautiful women ever seen. They say that it was grief for her loss that +made him come out mighty strong as a preacher; for, though he was a +clergyman, he was never heard of in the pulpit before he lost his wife; +since then the whole country has rung with the preaching of the clergyman +of M . . ., as they call him. Those two nice young gentlewomen, whom you +saw with the female childer, are his daughters." + +"You seem to know all about him, Jasper. Did you ever hear him preach +before?" + +"Never, brother; but he has frequently been to our tent, and his +daughters too, and given us tracts; for he is one of the people they call +Evangelicals, who give folks tracts which they cannot read." + +"You should learn to read, Jasper." + +"We have no time, brother." + +"Are you not frequently idle?" + +"Never, brother; when we are not engaged in our traffic, we are engaged +in taking our relaxation: so we have no time to learn." + +"You really should make an effort. If you were disposed to learn to +read, I would endeavour to assist you. You would be all the better for +knowing how to read." + +"In what way, brother?" + +"Why, you could read the Scriptures, and, by so doing, learn your duty +towards your fellow-creatures." + +"We know that already, brother; the constables and justices have +contrived to knock that tolerably into our heads." + +"Yet you frequently break the laws." + +"So, I believe, do now and then those who know how to read, brother." + +"Very true, Jasper; but you really ought to learn to read, as, by so +doing, you might learn your duty towards yourselves: and your chief duty +is to take care of your own souls; did not the preacher say, 'In what is +a man profited, provided he gain the whole world'?" + +"We have not much of the world, brother." + +"Very little indeed, Jasper. Did you not observe how the eyes of the +whole congregation were turned towards our pew when the preacher said, +'There are some people who lose their souls, and get nothing in exchange; +who are outcast, despised, and miserable?' Now, was not what he said +quite applicable to the gypsies?" + +"We are not miserable, brother." + +"Well, then, you ought to be, Jasper. Have you an inch of ground of your +own? Are you of the least use? Are you not spoken ill of by everybody? +What's a gypsy?" + +"What's the bird noising yonder, brother?" + +"The bird! Oh, that's the cuckoo tolling; but what has the cuckoo to do +with the matter?" + +"We'll see, brother; what's the cuckoo?" + +"What is it? you know as much about it as myself, Jasper." + +"Isn't it a kind of roguish, chaffing bird, brother?" + +"I believe it is, Jasper." + +"Nobody knows whence it comes, brother?" + +"I believe not, Jasper." + +"Very poor, brother, not a nest of its own?" + +"So they say, Jasper." + +"With every person's bad word, brother?" + +"Yes, Jasper, every person is mocking it." + +"Tolerably merry, brother?" + +"Yes, tolerably merry, Jasper." + +"Of no use at all, brother?" + +"None whatever, Jasper." + +"You would be glad to get rid of the cuckoos, brother?" + +"Why, not exactly, Jasper; the cuckoo is a pleasant, funny bird, and its +presence and voice give a great charm to the green trees and fields; no, +I can't say I wish exactly to get rid of the cuckoo." + +"Well, brother, what's a Romany chal?" + +"You must answer that question yourself, Jasper." + +"A roguish, chaffing fellow, a'n't he, brother?" + +"Ay, ay, Jasper." + +"Of no use at all, brother?" + +"Just so, Jasper; I see . . ." + +"Something very much like a cuckoo, brother?" + +"I see what you are after, Jasper." + +"You would like to get rid of us, wouldn't you?" + +"Why, no, not exactly." + +"We are no ornament to the green lanes in spring and summer time, are we, +brother? and the voices of our chies, with their cukkerin and dukkerin, +don't help to make them pleasant?" + +"I see what you are at, Jasper." + +"You would wish to turn the cuckoos into barn-door fowls, wouldn't you?" + +"Can't say I should, Jasper, whatever some people might wish." + +"And the chals and chies into radical weavers and factory wenches, hey, +brother?" + +"Can't say that I should, Jasper. You are certainly a picturesque +people, and in many respects an ornament both to town and country; +painting and lil writing too are under great obligations to you. What +pretty pictures are made out of your campings and groupings, and what +pretty books have been written in which gypsies, or at least creatures +intended to represent gypsies, have been the principal figures! I think +if we were without you, we should begin to miss you." + +"Just as you would the cuckoos, if they were all converted into barn-door +fowls. I tell you what, brother, frequently as I have sat under a hedge +in spring or summer time, and heard the cuckoo, I have thought that we +chals and cuckoos are alike in many respects, but especially in +character. Everybody speaks ill of us both, and everybody is glad to see +both of us again." + +"Yes, Jasper, but there is some difference between men and cuckoos; men +have souls, Jasper!" + +"And why not cuckoos, brother?" + +"You should not talk so, Jasper; what you say is little short of +blasphemy. How should a bird have a soul?" + +"And how should a man?" + +"Oh, we know very well that a man has a soul." + +"How do you know it?" + +"We know very well." + +"Would you take your oath of it, brother--your bodily oath?" + +"Why, I think I might, Jasper!" + +"Did you ever see the soul, brother?" + +"No, I never saw it." + +"Then how could you swear to it? A pretty figure you would make in a +court of justice, to swear to a thing which you never saw. Hold up your +head, fellow. When and where did you see it? Now upon your oath, +fellow, do you mean to say that this Roman stole the donkey's foal? Oh, +there's no one for cross-questioning like Counsellor P . . . Our people +when they are in a hobble always like to employ him, though he is +somewhat dear. Now, brother, how can you get over the 'upon your oath, +fellow, will you say that you have a soul?'" + +"Well, we will take no oath on the subject; but you yourself believe in +the soul. I have heard you say that you believe in dukkerin; now what is +dukkerin {286} but the soul science?" + +"When did I say that I believed in it?" + +"Why, after that fight, when you pointed to the bloody mark in the cloud, +whilst he you wot of was galloping in the barouche to the old town, +amidst the rain-cataracts, the thunder, and flame of heaven." + +"I have some kind of remembrance of it, brother." + +"Then, again, I heard you say that the dook of Abershaw rode every night +on horseback down the wooded hill." + +"I say, brother, what a wonderful memory you have!" + +"I wish I had not, Jasper, but I can't help it; it is my misfortune." + +"Misfortune! well, perhaps it is; at any rate it is very ungenteel to +have such a memory. I have heard my wife say that to show you have a +long memory looks very vulgar; and that you can't give a greater proof of +gentility than by forgetting a thing as soon as possible--more especially +a promise, or an acquaintance when he happens to be shabby. Well, +brother, I don't deny that I may have said that I believe in dukkerin, +and in Abershaw's dook, which you say is his soul; but what I believe one +moment, or say I believe, don't be certain that I shall believe the next, +or say I do." + +"Indeed, Jasper, I heard you say on a previous occasion, on quoting a +piece of song, that when a man dies he is cast into the earth, and +there's an end of him." + +"I did, did I? Lor', what a memory you have, brother! But you are not +sure that I hold that opinion now." + +"Certainly not, Jasper. Indeed, after such a sermon as we have been +hearing, I should be very shocked if you held such an opinion." + +"However, brother, don't be sure I do not, however shocking such an +opinion may be to you." + +"What an incomprehensible people you are, Jasper." + +"We are rather so, brother; indeed, we have posed wiser heads than yours +before now." + +"You seem to care for so little, and yet you rove about a distinct race." + +"I say, brother!" + +"Yes, Jasper." + +"What do you think of our women?" + +"They have certainly very singular names, Jasper." + +"Names! Lavengro! But, brother, if you had been as fond of things as of +names, you would never have been a pal of ours." + +"What do you mean, Jasper?" + +"A'n't they rum animals?" + +"They have tongues of their own, Jasper." + +"Did you ever feel their teeth and nails, brother?" + +"Never, Jasper, save Mrs. Herne's. {288} I have always been very civil +to them, so . . ." + +"They let you alone. I say, brother, some part of the secret is in +them." + +"They seem rather flighty, Jasper." + +"Ay, ay, brother!" + +"Rather fond of loose discourse!" + +"Rather so, brother." + +"Can you always trust them, Jasper?" + +"We never watch them, brother." + +"Can they always trust you?" + +"Not quite so well as we can them. However, we get on very well +together, except Mikailia and her husband; but Mikailia is a cripple, and +is married to the beauty of the world, so she may be expected to be +jealous--though he would not part with her for a duchess, no more than I +would part with my rawnie, nor any other chal with his." + +"Ay, but would not the chi part with the chal for a duke, Jasper?" + +"My Pakomovna gave up the duke for me, brother." + +"But she occasionally talks of him, Jasper." + +"Yes, brother, but Pakomovna was born on a common not far from the sign +of the gammon." + +"Gammon of bacon, I suppose." + +"Yes, brother; but gammon likewise means . . ." + +"I know it does, Jasper; it means fun, ridicule, jest; it is an ancient +Norse word, and is found in the Edda." + +"Lor', brother! how learned in lils you are!" + +"Many words of Norse are to be found in our vulgar sayings, Jasper; for +example--in that particularly vulgar saying of ours, 'Your mother is up,' +{289} there's a noble Norse word; mother, there, meaning not the female +who bore us, but rage and choler, as I discovered by reading the Sagas, +Jasper." + +"Lor', brother! how book-learned you be." + +"Indifferently so, Jasper. Then you think you might trust your wife with +the duke?" + +"I think I could, brother, or even with yourself." + +"Myself, Jasper! Oh, I never troubled my head about your wife; but I +suppose there have been love affairs between gorgios {290} and Romany +chies. Why, novels are stuffed with such matters; and then even one of +your own songs says so--the song which Ursula was singing the other +afternoon." + +"That is somewhat of an old song, brother, and is sung by the chies as a +warning at our solemn festivals." + +"Well! but there's your sister-in-law, Ursula, herself, Jasper." + +"Ursula, herself, brother?" + +"You were talking of my having her, Jasper." + +"Well, brother, why didn't you have her?" + +"Would she have had me?" + +"Of course, brother. You are so much of a Roman, and speak Romany so +remarkably well." + +"Poor thing! she looks very innocent!" + +"Remarkably so, brother! However, though not born on the same common +with my wife, she knows a thing or two of Roman matters." + +"I should like to ask her a question or two, Jasper, in connection with +that song." + +"You can do no better, brother. Here we are at the camp. After tea, +take Ursula under a hedge, and ask her a question or two in connection +with that song." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI.--SUNDAY EVENING--URSULA--ACTION AT LAW--MERIDIANA MARRIED +ALREADY. + + +I took tea that evening with Mr. and Mrs. Petulengro and Ursula, {291} +outside of their tent. Tawno was not present, being engaged with his +wife in his own tabernacle; Sylvester was there, however, lolling +listlessly upon the ground. As I looked upon this man, I thought him one +of the most disagreeable fellows I had ever seen. His features were +ugly, and, moreover, as dark as pepper; and, besides being dark, his skin +was dirty. As for his dress, it was torn and sordid. His chest was +broad, and his arms seemed powerful; but, upon the whole, he looked a +very caitiff. "I am sorry that man has lost his wife," thought I; "for I +am sure he will never get another." What surprises me is, that he ever +found a woman disposed to unite her lot with his! + +After tea I got up and strolled about the field. My thoughts were upon +Isopel Berners. I wondered where she was, and how long she would stay +away. At length becoming tired and listless, I determined to return to +the dingle, and resume the reading of the Bible at the place where I had +left off. "What better could I do," methought, "on a Sunday evening?" I +was then near the wood which surrounded the dingle, but at that side +which was farthest from the encampment, which stood near the entrance. +Suddenly, on turning round the southern corner of the copse, which +surrounded the dingle, I perceived Ursula seated under a thorn-bush. I +thought I never saw her look prettier than then, dressed as she was, in +her Sunday's best. + +"Good evening, Ursula," said I; "I little thought to have the pleasure of +seeing you here." + +"Nor would you, brother," said Ursula, "had not Jasper told me that you +had been talking about me, and wanted to speak to me under a hedge; so +hearing that, I watched your motions, and came here and sat down." + +"I was thinking of going to my quarters in the dingle, to read the Bible, +Ursula, but . . ." + +"Oh, pray then, go to your quarters, brother, and read the Miduveleskoe +lil; {293} you can speak to me under a hedge some other time." + +"I think I will sit down with you, Ursula; for, after all, reading godly +books in dingles at eve is rather sombre work. Yes, I think I will sit +down with you;" and I sat down by her side. + +"Well, brother, now you have sat down with me under the hedge, what have +you to say to me?" + +"Why, I hardly know, Ursula." + +"Not know, brother; a pretty fellow you to ask young women to come and +sit with you under hedges, and, when they come, not know what to say to +them." + +"Oh! ah! I remember; do you know, Ursula, that I take a great interest +in you?" + +"Thank ye, brother; kind of you, at any rate." + +"You must be exposed to a great many temptations, Ursula." + +"A great many indeed, brother. It is hard to see fine things, such as +shawls, gold watches, and chains in the shops, behind the big glasses, +and to know that they are not intended for one. Many's the time I have +been tempted to make a dash at them; but I bethought myself that by so +doing I should cut my hands, besides being almost certain of being +grabbed and sent across the gull's bath to the foreign country." + +"Then you think gold and fine things temptations, Ursula?" + +"Of course, brother, very great temptations; don't you think them so?" + +"Can't say I do, Ursula." + +"Then more fool you, brother; but have the kindness to tell me what you +would call a temptation?" + +"Why, for example, the hope of honour and renown, Ursula." + +"The hope of honour and renown! very good, brother: but I tell you one +thing, that unless you have money in your pocket, and good broadcloth on +your back, you are not likely to obtain much honour and--what do you call +it? amongst the gorgios, to say nothing of the Romany chals." + +"I should have thought, Ursula, that the Romany chals, roaming about the +world as they do, free and independent, were above being led by such +trifles." + +"Then you know nothing of the gypsies, brother; no people on earth are +fonder of those trifles, as you call them, than the Romany chals, or more +disposed to respect those who have them." + +"Then money and fine clothes would induce you to do anything, Ursula?" + +"Ay, ay, brother, anything." + +"To chore, {295a} Ursula?" + +"Like enough, brother; gypsies have been transported before now for +choring." + +"To hokkawar?" {295b} + +"Ay, ay; I was telling dukkerin only yesterday, brother." + +"In fact, to break the law in everything?" + +"Who knows, brother, who knows? as I said before, gold and fine clothes +are great temptations." + +"Well, Ursula, I am sorry for it, I should never have thought you so +depraved." + +"Indeed, brother." + +"To think that I am seated by one who is willing to--to . . ." + +"Go on, brother." + +"To play the thief." + +"Go on, brother." + +"The liar." + +"Go on, brother." + +"The--the . . ." + +"Go on, brother." + +"The--the lubbeny." {295c} + +"The what, brother?" said Ursula, starting from her seat. + +"Why, the lubbeny; don't you . . ." + +"I tell you what, brother," said Ursula, looking somewhat pale, and +speaking very low, "if I had only something in my hand, I would do you a +mischief." + +"Why, what is the matter, Ursula?" said I; "how have I offended you?" + +"How have you offended me? Why, didn't you insinivate just now that I +was ready to play the--the . . ." + +"Go on, Ursula." + +"The--the . . . I'll not say it; but I only wish I had something in my +hand." + +"If I have offended, Ursula, I am very sorry for it; any offence I may +have given you was from want of understanding you. Come, pray be seated, +I have much to question you about--to talk to you about." + +"Seated, not I! It was only just now that you gave me to understand that +you was ashamed to be seated by me, a thief, a liar." + +"Well, did you not almost give me to understand that you were both, +Ursula?" + +"I don't much care being called a thief and a liar," said Ursula; "a +person may be a liar and a thief, and yet a very honest woman, but . . ." + +"Well, Ursula." + +"I tell you what, brother, if you ever sinivate again that I could be the +third thing, so help me duvel! {296} I'll do you a mischief. By my God I +will!" + +"Well, Ursula, I assure you that I shall sinivate, as you call it, +nothing of the kind about you. I have no doubt, from what you have said, +that you are a very paragon of virtue--a perfect Lucretia; but . . ." + +"My name is Ursula, brother, and not Lucretia: Lucretia is not of our +family, but one of the Bucklands; she travels about Oxfordshire; yet I am +as good as she any day." + +"Lucretia! how odd! Where could she have got that name? Well, I make no +doubt, Ursula, that you are quite as good as she, and she of her namesake +of ancient Rome; but there is a mystery in this same virtue, Ursula, +which I cannot fathom! how a thief and a liar should be able, or indeed +willing, to preserve her virtue is what I don't understand. You confess +that you are very fond of gold. Now, how is it that you don't barter +your virtue for gold sometimes? I am a philosopher, Ursula, and like to +know everything. You must be every now and then exposed to great +temptation, Ursula: for you are of a beauty calculated to captivate all +hearts. Come, sit down and tell me how you are enabled to resist such +temptation as gold and fine clothes?" + +"Well, brother," said Ursula, "as you say you mean no harm, I will sit +down beside you, and enter into discourse with you; but I will uphold +that you are the coolest hand that I ever came nigh, and say the coolest +things." + +And thereupon Ursula sat down by my side. + +"Well, Ursula, we will, if you please, discourse on the subject of your +temptations. I suppose that you travel very much about, and show +yourself in all kinds of places?" + +"In all kinds, brother; I travels, as you say, very much, attends fairs +and races, and enters booths and public-houses, where I tells fortunes, +and sometimes dances and sings." + +"And do not people often address you in a very free manner?" + +"Frequently, brother; and I give them tolerably free answers." + +"Do people ever offer to make you presents? I mean presents of value, +such as . . ." + +"Silk handkerchiefs, shawls, and trinkets; very frequently, brother." + +"And what do you do, Ursula?" + +"I take what people offers me, brother, and stows it away as soon as I +can." + +"Well, but don't people expect something for their presents? I don't +mean dukkerin, dancing, and the like; but such a moderate and innocent +thing as a choomer, {298} Ursula?" + +"Innocent thing, do you call it, brother?" + +"The world calls it so, Ursula. Well, do the people who give you the +fine things never expect a choomer in return?" + +"Very frequently, brother." + +"And do you ever grant it?" + +"Never, brother." + +"How do you avoid it?" + +"I gets away as soon as possible, brother. If they follows me, I tries +to baffle them, by means of jests and laughter; and if they persist, I +uses bad and terrible language, of which I have plenty in store." + +"But if your terrible language has no effect?" + +"Then I screams for the constable, and if he comes not, I uses my teeth +and nails." + +"And are they always sufficient?" + +"I have only had to use them twice, brother; but then I found them +sufficient." + +"But suppose the person who followed you was highly agreeable, Ursula? A +handsome young officer of local militia, for example, all dressed in +Lincoln green, would you still refuse him the choomer?" + +"We makes no difference, brother! the daughters of the gypsy-father makes +no difference; and, what's more, sees none." + +"Well, Ursula, the world will hardly give you credit for such +indifference." + +"What cares we for the world, brother! we are not of the world." + +"But your fathers, brothers, and uncles give you credit I suppose, +Ursula." + +"Ay, ay, brother, our fathers, brothers, and cokos {299a} gives us all +manner of credit; for example, I am telling lies and dukkerin in a public- +house where my batu {299b} or coko--perhaps both--are playing on the +fiddle; well, my batu and my coko beholds me amongst the public-house +crew, talking nonsense and hearing nonsense; but they are under no +apprehension; and presently they sees the good-looking officer of +militia, in his greens and Lincolns, get up and give me a wink, and I go +out with him abroad, into the dark night perhaps; well, my batu and coko +goes on fiddling, just as if I were six miles off asleep in the tent, and +not out in the dark street with the local officer, with his Lincolns and +his greens." + +"They know they can trust you, Ursula?" + +"Ay, ay, brother; and, what's more, I knows I can trust myself." + +"So you would merely go out to make a fool of him, Ursula?" + +"Merely go out to make a fool of him, brother, I assure you." + +"But such proceedings really have an odd look, Ursula." + +"Amongst gorgios, very so, brother." + +"Well, it must be rather unpleasant to lose one's character even amongst +gorgios, Ursula; and suppose the officer, out of revenge for being +tricked and duped by you, were to say of you the thing that is not, were +to meet you on the race-course the next day, and boast of receiving +favours which he never had, amidst a knot of jeering militia-men, how +would you proceed, Ursula? would you not be abashed?" + +"By no means, brother; I should bring my action of law against him." + +"Your action at law, Ursula?" + +"Yes, brother; I should give a whistle, whereupon all one's cokos and +batus, and all my near and distant relations, would leave their fiddling, +dukkerin, and horse-dealing, and come flocking about me. 'What's the +matter, Ursula?' says my coko. 'Nothing at all,' I replies, 'save and +except that gorgio, in his greens and his Lincolns, says that I have +played the . . . with him.' 'Oho, he does, Ursula,' says my coko; 'try +your action of law against him, my lamb,' and he puts something privily +into my hands; whereupon I goes close up to the grinning gorgio, and +staring him in the face, with my head pushed forward, I cries out: 'You +say I did what was wrong with you last night when I was out with you +abroad?' 'Yes,' says the local officer, 'I says you did,' looking down +all the time. 'You are a liar,' says I, and forthwith I breaks his head +with the stick which I holds behind me, and which my coko has conveyed +privily into my hand." + +"And this is your action at law, Ursula?" + +"Yes, brother, this is my action at club-law." + +"And would your breaking the fellow's head quite clear you of all +suspicion in the eyes of your batus, cokos, {301} and what not?" + +"They would never suspect me at all, brother, because they would know +that I would never condescend to be over intimate with a gorgio; the +breaking the head would be merely intended to justify Ursula in the eyes +of the gorgios." + +"And would it clear you in their eyes?" + +"Would it not, brother? When they saw the blood running down from the +fellow's cracked poll on his greens and Lincolns, they would be quite +satisfied; why, the fellow would not be able to show his face at fair or +merry-making for a year and three quarters." + +"Did you ever try it, Ursula?" + +"Can't say I ever did, brother, but it would do." + +"And how did you ever learn such a method of proceeding?" + +"Why, 'tis advised by gypsy liri, {302a} brother. It's part of our way +of settling difficulties amongst ourselves; for example, if a young Roman +were to say the thing which is not respecting Ursula and himself, Ursula +would call a great meeting of the people, who would all sit down in a +ring, the young fellow amongst them; a coko would then put a stick in +Ursula's hand, who would then get up and go to the young fellow, and say, +'Did I play the . . . with you?' and were he to say 'Yes,' she would +crack his head before the eyes of all." + +"Well," said I, "Ursula, I was bred an apprentice to gorgio law, and of +course ought to stand up for it, whenever I conscientiously can, but I +must say the gypsy manner of bringing an action for defamation is much +less tedious, and far more satisfactory, than the gorgiko one. I wish +you now to clear up a certain point which is rather mysterious to me. You +say that for a Romany chi to do what is unseemly with a gorgio is quite +out of the question, yet only the other day I heard you singing a song in +which a Romany chi confesses herself to be cambri {302b} by a grand +gorgious gentleman." + +"A sad let down," said Ursula. + +"Well," said I, "sad or not, there's the song that speaks of the thing, +which you give me to understand is not?" + +"Well, if the thing ever was," said Ursula, "it was a long time ago, and +perhaps, after all, not true." + +"Then why do you sing the song?" + +"I tell you, brother: we sings the song now and then to be a warning to +ourselves to have as little to do as possible in the way of acquaintance +with the gorgios; and a warning it is. You see how the young woman in +the song was driven out of her tent by her mother, with all kinds of +disgrace and bad language; but you don't know that she was afterwards +buried alive by her cokos and pals, in an uninhabited place. The song +doesn't say it, but the story says it; for there is a story about it, +though, as I said before, it was a long time ago, and perhaps, after all, +wasn't true." + +"But if such a thing were to happen at present, would the cokos and pals +bury the girl alive?" + +"I can't say what they would do," said Ursula, "I suppose they are not so +strict as they were long ago; at any rate she would be driven from the +tan, {303} and avoided by all her family and relations as a gorgio's +acquaintance, so that, perhaps, at last, she would be glad if they would +bury her alive." + +"Well, I can conceive that there would be an objection on the part of the +cokos and batus that a Romany chi should form an improper acquaintance +with a gorgio, but I should think that the batus and cokos could hardly +object to the chi's entering into the honourable estate of wedlock with a +gorgio." + +Ursula was silent. + +"Marriage is an honourable estate, Ursula." + +"Well, brother, suppose it be?" + +"I don't see why a Romany chi should object to enter into the honourable +estate of wedlock with a gorgio." + +"You don't, brother; don't you?" + +"No," said I, "and, moreover, I am aware, notwithstanding your evasion, +Ursula, that marriages and connections now and then occur between gorgios +and Romany chies; the result of which is the mixed breed, called half-and- +half, which is at present travelling about England, and to which the +Flaming Tinman belongs, otherwise called Anselo Herne." + +"As for the half-and-halfs," said Ursula, "they are a bad set; and there +is not a worse blackguard in England than Anselo Herne." + +"All what you say may be very true, Ursula, but you admit that there are +half-and-halfs." + +"The more's the pity, brother." + +"Pity or not, you admit the fact; but how do you account for it?" + +"How do I account for it? why, I will tell you, by the break up of a +Roman family, brother,--the father of a small family dies, and perhaps +the mother; and the poor children are left behind; sometimes they are +gathered up by their relations, and sometimes, if they have none, by +charitable Romans, who bring them up in the observance of gypsy law; but +sometimes they are not so lucky, and falls into the company of gorgios, +trampers, and basket-makers, who live in caravans, with whom they take +up, and so . . . I hate to talk of the matter, brother; but so comes this +race of the half-and-halfs." + +"Then you mean to say, Ursula, that no Romany chi, unless compelled by +hard necessity, would have anything to do with a gorgio." + +"We are not over fond of gorgios, brother, and we hates basket-makers and +folks that live in caravans." + +"Well," said I, "suppose a gorgio, who is not a basket-maker, a fine +handsome gorgious gentleman, who lives in a fine house . . ." + +"We are not fond of houses, brother. I never slept in a house in my +life." + +"But would not plenty of money induce you?" + +"I hate houses, brother, and those who live in them." + +"Well, suppose such a person were willing to resign his fine house, and, +for love of you, to adopt gypsy law, speak Romany, and live in a tan, +{305} would you have nothing to say to him?" + +"Bringing plenty of money with him, brother?" + +"Well, bringing plenty of money with him, Ursula." + +"Well, brother, suppose you produce your man; where is he?" + +"I was merely supposing such a person, Ursula." + +"Then you don't know of such a person, brother?" + +"Why, no, Ursula; why do you ask?" + +"Because, brother, I was almost beginning to think that you meant +yourself." + +"Myself, Ursula! I have no fine house to resign; nor have I money. +Moreover, Ursula, though I have a great regard for you, and though I +consider you very handsome, quite as handsome, indeed, as Meridiana in . . ." + +"Meridiana! where did you meet with her?" said Ursula, with a toss of her +head. + +"Why, in old Pulci's . . ." + +"At old Fulcher's! that's not true brother. Meridiana is a Borzlam, and +travels with her own people, and not with old Fulcher, {306} who is a +gorgio and a basket-maker." + +"I was not speaking of old Fulcher, but Pulci, a great Italian writer, +who lived many hundred years ago, and who, in his poem called the +'Morgante Maggiore,' speaks of Meridiana, the daughter of . . ." + +"Old Carus Borzlam," said Ursula; "but if the fellow you mention lived so +many hundred years ago, how, in the name of wonder, could he know +anything of Meridiana?" + +"The wonder, Ursula, is, how your people could ever have got hold of that +name, and similar ones. The Meridiana of Pulci was not the daughter of +old Carus Borzlam, but of Caradoro, a great pagan king of the East, who, +being besieged in his capital by Manfredonio, another mighty pagan king, +who wished to obtain possession of his daughter, who had refused him, was +relieved in his distress by certain paladins of Charlemagne, with one of +whom, Oliver, his daughter Meridiana fell in love." + +"I see," said Ursula, "that it must have been altogether a different +person, for I am sure that Meridiana Borzlam would never have fallen in +love with Oliver. Oliver! why, that is the name of the curo-mengro who +lost the fight near the chong gav, {307} the day of the great tempest, +when I got wet through. No, no! Meridiana Borzlam would never have so +far forgot her blood as to take up with Tom Oliver." + +"I was not talking of that Oliver, Ursula, but of Oliver, peer of France, +and paladin of Charlemagne, with whom Meridiana, daughter of Caradore, +fell in love, and for whose sake she renounced her religion and became a +Christian, and finally ingravidata, or cambri, by him:-- + + "E nacquene un figliuol, dice la storia, + Che dette a Carlo-man poi gran vittoria." + +which means . . ." + +"I don't want to know what it means," said Ursula; "no good, I'm sure. +Well, if the Meridiana of Charles's wain's pal was no handsomer than +Meridiana Borzlam, she was no great catch, brother; for though I am by no +means given to vanity, I think myself better to look at than she, though +I will say she is no lubbeny, and would scorn . . ." + +"I make no doubt she would, Ursula, and I make no doubt that you are much +handsomer than she, or even the Meridiana of Oliver. What I was about to +say, before you interrupted me, is this, that though I have a great +regard for you, and highly admire you, it is only in a brotherly way, and +. . ." + +"And you had nothing better to say to me," said Ursula, "when you wanted +to talk to me beneath a hedge, than that you liked me in a brotherly way! +well, I declare . . ." + +"You seem disappointed, Ursula." + +"Disappointed, brother! not I." + +"You were just now saying that you disliked gorgios, so, of course, could +only wish that I, who am a gorgio, should like you in a brotherly way; I +wished to have a conversation with you beneath a hedge, but only with the +view of procuring from you some information respecting the song which you +sung the other day, and the conduct of Roman females, which has always +struck me as being highly unaccountable, so, if you thought anything else +. . ." + +"What else should I expect from a picker-up of old words, brother? Bah! +I dislike a picker-up of old words worse than a picker-up of old rags." + +"Don't be angry, Ursula, I feel a great interest in you; you are very +handsome, and very clever; indeed, with your beauty and cleverness, I +only wonder that you have not long since been married." + +"You do, do you, brother?" + +"Yes. However, keep up your spirits, Ursula, you are not much past the +prime of youth, so . . ." + +"Not much past the prime of youth! Don't be uncivil, brother; I was only +twenty-two last month." + +"Don't be offended, Ursula, but twenty-two is twenty-two, or I should +rather say, that twenty-two in a woman is more than twenty-six in a man. +You are still very beautiful, but I advise you to accept the first offer +that's made to you." + +"Thank you, brother, but your advice comes rather late; I accepted the +first offer that was made me five years ago." + +"You married five years ago, Ursula! is it possible?" + +"Quite possible, brother, I assure you." + +"And how came I to know nothing about it?" + +"How comes it that you don't know many thousand things about the Romans, +brother? Do you think they tell you all their affairs?" + +"Married, Ursula, married! well, I declare!" + +"You seem disappointed, brother." + +"Disappointed! Oh, no! not at all; but Jasper, only a few weeks ago, +told me that you were not married; and, indeed, almost gave me to +understand that you would be very glad to get a husband." + +"And you believed him? I'll tell you, brother, for your instruction, +that there is not in the whole world a greater liar than Jasper +Petulengro." + +"I am sorry to hear it, Ursula; but with respect to him you married--who +might he be? A gorgio, or a Romany chal?" + +"Gorgio, or Romany chal? Do you think I would ever condescend to a +gorgio? It was a Camomescro, brother, a Lovell, a distant relation of my +own." + +"And where is he! and what became of him? Have you any family?" + +"Don't think I am going to tell you all my history, brother; and, to tell +you the truth, I am tired of sitting under hedges with you, talking +nonsense. I shall go to my house." + +"Do sit a little longer, sister Ursula. I most heartily congratulate you +on your marriage. But where is this same Lovell? I have never seen him: +I should wish to congratulate him too. You are quite as handsome as the +Meridiana of Pulci, Ursula, ay, or the Despina of Ricciardetto. +Ricciardetto, Ursula, is a poem written by one Fortiguerra, about ninety +years ago, in imitation of the Morgante of Pulci. It treats of the wars +of Charlemagne and his Paladins with various barbarous nations, who came +to besiege Paris. Despina was the daughter and heiress of Scricca, King +of Cafria; she was the beloved of Ricciardetto, and was beautiful as an +angel; but I make no doubt you are quite as handsome as she." + +"Brother," said Ursula--but the reply of Ursula I reserve for another +chapter, the present having attained to rather an uncommon length, for +which, however, the importance of the matter discussed is a sufficient +apology. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII.--URSULA'S TALE--THE PATTERAN--THE DEEP WATER--SECOND +HUSBAND. + + +"Brother," said Ursula, plucking a dandelion which grew at her feet. "I +have always said that a more civil and pleasant-spoken person than +yourself can't be found. I have a great regard for you and your +learning, and am willing to do you any pleasure in the way of words or +conversation. Mine is not a very happy story, but as you wish to hear +it, it is quite at your service. Launcelot Lovell made me an offer, as +you call it, and we were married in Roman fashion; that is, we gave each +other our right hands, and promised to be true to each other. We lived +together two years, travelling sometimes by ourselves, sometimes with our +relations; I bore him two children, both of which were still-born, +partly, I believe, from the fatigue I underwent in running about the +country telling dukkerin when I was not exactly in a state to do so, and +partly from the kicks and blows which my husband Launcelot was in the +habit of giving me every night, provided I came home with less than five +shillings, which it is sometimes impossible to make in the country, +provided no fair or merry-making is going on. At the end of two years my +husband, Launcelot, whistled a horse from a farmer's field, and sold it +for forty pounds; and for that horse he was taken, put in prison, tried, +and condemned to be sent to the other country for life. Two days before +he was to be sent away, I got leave to see him in the prison, and in the +presence of the turnkey I gave him a thin cake of gingerbread, in which +there was a dainty saw which could cut through iron. I then took on +wonderfully, turned my eyes inside out, fell down in a seeming fit, and +was carried out of the prison. That same night my husband sawed his +irons off, cut through the bars of his window, and dropping down a height +of fifty feet, lighted on his legs, and came and joined me on a heath +where I was camped alone. We were just getting things ready to be off, +when we heard people coming, and sure enough they were runners after my +husband, Launcelot Lovell; for his escape had been discovered within a +quarter of an hour after he had got away. My husband, without bidding me +farewell, set off at full speed, and they after him, but they could not +take him, and so they came back and took me, and shook me, and threatened +me, and had me before the poknees, {312} who shook his head at me, and +threatened me in order to make me discover where my husband was, but I +said I did not know, which was true enough; not that I would have told +him if I had. So at last the poknees and the runners, not being able to +make anything out of me, were obliged to let me go, and I went in search +of my husband. I wandered about with my cart for several days in the +direction in which I saw him run off, with my eyes bent on the ground, +but could see no marks of him; at last, coming to four cross roads, I saw +my husband's patteran." + +"You saw your husband's patteran?" + +"Yes, brother. Do you know what patteran means?" + +"Of course, Ursula; the gypsy trail, the handful of grass which the +gypsies strew in the roads as they travel, to give information to any of +their companions who may be behind, as to the route they have taken. The +gypsy patteran has always had a strange interest for me, Ursula." + +"Like enough, brother; but what does patteran mean?" + +"Why, the gypsy trail, formed as I told you before." + +"And you know nothing more about patteran, brother?" + +"Nothing at all, Ursula; do you?" + +"What's the name for the leaf of a tree, brother?" + +"I don't know," said I; "it's odd enough that I have asked that question +of a dozen Romany chals and chies, and they always told me that they did +not know." + +"No more they did, brother; there's only one person in England that +knows, and that's myself--the name for a leaf is patteran. Now there are +two that knows it--the other is yourself." + +"Dear me, Ursula, how very strange! I am much obliged to you. I think I +never saw you look so pretty as you do now; but who told you?" + +"My mother, Mrs. Herne, told it me one day, brother, when she was in a +good humour, which she very seldom was, and no one has a better right to +know than yourself, as she hated you mortally: it was one day when you +had been asking our company what was the word for a leaf, and nobody +could tell you, that she took me aside and told me, for she was in a good +humour, and triumphed in seeing you balked. She told me the word for +leaf was patteran, which our people use now for trail, having forgotten +the true meaning. She said that the trail was called patteran, because +the gypsies of old were in the habit of making the marks with the leaves +and branches of trees, placed in a certain manner. She said that nobody +knew it but herself, who was one of the old sort, and begged me never to +tell the word to any one but him I should marry; and to be particularly +cautious never to let you know it, whom she hated. Well, brother, +perhaps I have done wrong to tell you; but, as I said before, I likes +you, and am always ready to do your pleasure in words and conversation; +my mother, moreover, is dead and gone, and, poor thing, will never know +anything about the matter. So, when I married, I told my husband about +the patteran, and we were in the habit of making our private trail with +leaves and branches of trees, which none of the other gypsy people did; +so, when I saw my husband's patteran, I knew it at once, and I followed +it upwards of two hundred miles towards the north; and then I came to a +deep, awful-looking water, with an overhanging bank, and on the bank I +found the patteran, which directed me to proceed along the bank towards +the east; and I followed my husband's patteran towards the east, and +before I had gone half a mile, I came to a place where I saw the bank had +given way, and fallen into the deep water. Without paying much heed, I +passed on, and presently came to a public-house, not far from the water, +and I entered the public-house to get a little beer, and perhaps to tell +a dukkerin, for I saw a great many people about the door; and, when I +entered, I found there was what they calls an inquest being held upon a +body in that house, and the jury had just risen to go and look at the +body; and being a woman, and having a curiosity, I thought I would go +with them, and so I did; and no sooner did I see the body than I knew it +to be my husband's; it was much swelled and altered, but I knew it partly +by the clothes, and partly by a mark on the forehead, and I cried out, +'It is my husband's body,' and I fell down in a fit, and the fit that +time, brother, was not a seeming one." + +"Dear me," I, "how terrible! but tell me, Ursula, how did your husband +come by his death?" + +"The bank, overhanging the deep water, gave way under him, brother, and +he was drowned; for, like most of our people, he could not swim, or only +a little. The body, after it had been in the water a long time, came up +of itself, and was found floating. Well, brother, when the people of the +neighbourhood found that I was the wife of the drowned man, they were +very kind to me, and made a subscription for me, with which, after having +seen my husband buried, I returned the way I had come, till I met Jasper +and his people, and with them I have travelled ever since: I was very +melancholy for a long time, I assure you, brother; for the death of my +husband preyed very much upon my mind." + +"His death was certainly a very shocking one, Ursula; but, really, if he +had died a natural one, you could scarcely have regretted it, for he +appears to have treated you barbarously." + +"Women must bear, brother; and, barring that he kicked and beat me, and +drove me out to tell dukkerin when I could scarcely stand, he was not a +bad husband. A man, by gypsy law, brother, is allowed to kick and beat +his wife, and to bury her alive, if he thinks proper. I am a gypsy, and +have nothing to say against the law." + +"But what has Mikailia Chikno to say about it?" + +"She is a cripple, brother, the only cripple amongst the Roman people: so +she is allowed to do and say as she pleases. Moreover, her husband does +not think fit to kick or beat her, though it is my opinion she would like +him all the better if he were occasionally to do so, and threaten to bury +her alive; at any rate, she would treat him better, and respect him +more." + +"Your sister does not seem to stand much in awe of Jasper Petulengro, +Ursula." + +"Let the matters of my sister and Jasper Petulengro alone, brother; you +must travel in their company some time before you can understand them; +they are a strange two, up to all kind of chaffing: but two more regular +Romans don't breathe, and I'll tell you, for your instruction, that there +isn't a better mare-breaker in England that Jasper Petulengro, if you can +manage Miss Isopel Berners as well as . . ." + +"Isopel Berners," said I, "how came you to think of her?" + +"How should I but think of her, brother, living as she does with you in +Mumper's dingle, and travelling about with you; you will have, brother, +more difficulty to manage her, than Jasper has to manage my sister +Pakomovna. I should have mentioned her before, only I wanted to know +what you had to say to me; and when we got into discourse, I forgot her. +I say, brother, let me tell you your dukkerin, with respect to her, you +will never . . ." + +"I want to hear no dukkerin, Ursula." + +"Do let me tell you your dukkerin, brother, you will never manage . . ." + +"I want to hear no dukkerin, Ursula, in connection with Isopel Berners. +Moreover, it is Sunday, we will change the subject; it is surprising to +me that, after all you have undergone, you should still look so +beautiful. I suppose you do not think of marrying again, Ursula?" + +"No, brother, one husband at a time is quite enough for any reasonable +mort; especially such a good husband as I have got." + +"Such a good husband! why, I thought you told me your husband was +drowned?" + +"Yes, brother, my first husband was." + +"And have you a second?" + +"To be sure, brother." + +"And who is he, in the name of wonder?" + +"Who is he? why Sylvester, to be sure." + +"I do assure you, Ursula, that I feel disposed to be angry with you; such +a handsome young woman as yourself to take up with such a nasty pepper- +faced good-for-nothing . . ." + +"I won't hear my husband abused, brother; so you had better say no more." + +"Why, is he not the Lazarus of the gypsies? has he a penny of his own, +Ursula?" + +"Then the more his want, brother, of a clever chi like me to take care of +him and his childer. I tell you what, brother, I will chore, {318} if +necessary, and tell dukkerin for Sylvester, if even so heavy as scarcely +to be able to stand. You call him lazy; you would not think him lazy if +you were in a ring with him; he is a proper man with his hands: Jasper is +going to back him for twenty pounds against Slammocks of the Chong gav, +the brother of Roarer and Bell-metal; he says he has no doubt that he +will win." + +"Well, if you like him, I, of course, can have no objection. Have you +been long married?" + +"About a fortnight, brother; that dinner, the other day, when I sang the +song, was given in celebration of the wedding." + +"Were you married in a church, Ursula?" + +"We were not, brother; none but gorgios, cripples, and lubbenys are ever +married in a church; we took each other's words. Brother, I have been +with you near three hours beneath this hedge. I will go to my husband." + +"Does he know that you are here?" + +"He does brother." + +"And is he satisfied?" + +"Satisfied! of course. Lor', you gorgios! Brother, I go to my husband +and my house." And, thereupon, Ursula rose and departed. + +After waiting a little time I also arose; it was now dark, and I thought +I could do no better than betake myself to the dingle; at the entrance of +it I found Mr. Petulengro. "Well brother," said he, "what kind of +conversation have you and Ursula had beneath the hedge?" + +"If you wished to hear what we were talking about, you should have come +and sat down beside us; you knew where we were." + +"Well, brother, I did much the same, for I went and sat down behind you." + +"Behind the hedge, Jasper?" + +"Behind the hedge, brother." + +"And heard all our conversation?" + +"Every word, brother; and a rum conversation it was." + +"'Tis an old saying, Jasper, that listeners never hear any good of +themselves; perhaps you heard the epithet that Ursula bestowed upon you." + +"If, by epitaph, you mean that she called me a liar, I did, brother, and +she was not much wrong, for I certainly do not always stick exactly to +truth; you, however, have not much to complain of me." + +"You deceived me about Ursula, giving me to understand she was not +married." + +"She was not married when I told you so, brother; that is, not to +Sylvester; nor was I aware that she was going to marry him. I once +thought you had a kind of regard for her, and I am sure she had as much +for you as a Romany chi can have for a gorgio. I half expected to have +heard you make love to her behind the hedge, but I begin to think you +care for nothing in this world but old words and strange stories. Lor', +to take a young woman under a hedge, and talk to her as you did to +Ursula; and yet you got everything out of her that you wanted, with your +gammon about old Fulcher and Meridiana. You are a cunning one, brother." + +"There you are mistaken, Jasper. I am not cunning. If people think I +am, it is because, being made up of art themselves, simplicity of +character is a puzzle to them. Your women are certainly extraordinary +creatures, Jasper." + +"Didn't I say they were rum animals? Brother, we Romans shall always +stick together as long as they stick fast to us." + +"Do you think they always will, Jasper?" + +"Can't say, brother; nothing lasts for ever. Romany chies are Romany +chies still, though not exactly what they were sixty years ago. My wife, +though a rum one, is not Mrs. Herne, brother. I think she is rather fond +of Frenchmen and French discourse. I tell you what, brother, if ever +gypsyism breaks up, it will be owing to our chies having been bitten by +that mad puppy they calls gentility." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII.--THE DINGLE AT NIGHT--THE TWO SIDES OF THE QUESTION--ROMAN +FEMALES--FILLING THE KETTLE--THE DREAM--THE TALL FIGURE. + + +I descended to the bottom of the dingle. It was nearly involved in +obscurity. To dissipate the feeling of melancholy which came over my +mind, I resolved to kindle a fire; and having heaped dry sticks upon my +hearth, and added a billet or two, I struck a light and soon produced a +blaze. Sitting down, I fixed my eyes upon the blaze, and soon fell into +a deep meditation. I thought of the events of the day, the scene at +church, and what I had heard at church, the danger of losing one's soul, +the doubts of Jasper Petulengro as to whether one had a soul. I thought +over the various arguments which I had either heard, or which had come +spontaneously to my mind, for or against the probability of a state of +future existence. They appeared to me to be tolerably evenly balanced. I +then thought that it was at all events taking the safest part to conclude +that there was a soul. It would be a terrible thing, after having passed +one's life in the disbelief of the existence of a soul, to wake up after +death a soul, and to find one's self a lost soul. Yes, methought I would +come to the conclusion that one has a soul. Choosing the safe side, +however, appeared to me to be playing rather a dastardly part. I had +never been an admirer of people who chose the safe side in everything; +indeed I had always entertained a thorough contempt for them. Surely it +would be showing more manhood to adopt the dangerous side, that of +disbelief; I almost resolved to do so--but yet in a question of so much +importance, I ought not to be guided by vanity. The question was not +which was the safe, but the true side? yet how was I to know which was +the true side? Then I thought of the Bible--which I had been reading in +the morning--that spoke of the soul and a future state; but was the Bible +true? I had heard learned and moral men say that it was true, but I had +also heard learned and moral men say that it was not: how was I to +decide? Still that balance of probabilities! If I could but see the way +of truth, I would follow it, if necessary, upon hands and knees; on that +I was determined; but I could not see it. Feeling my brain begin to turn +round, I resolved to think of something else; and forthwith began to +think of what had passed between Ursula and myself in our discourse +beneath the hedge. + +I mused deeply on what she had told me as to the virtue of the females of +her race. How singular that virtue must be which was kept pure and +immaculate by the possessor, whilst indulging in habits of falsehood and +dishonesty. I had always thought the gypsy females extraordinary beings. +I had often wondered at them, their dress, their manner of speaking, and, +not least, at their names; but, until the present day, I had been +unacquainted with the most extraordinary point connected with them. How +came they possessed of this extraordinary virtue? was it because they +were thievish? I remembered that an ancient thief-taker, who had retired +from his useful calling, and who frequently visited the office of my +master at law, the respectable S. . ., who had the management of his +property--I remembered to have heard this worthy, with whom I +occasionally held discourse, philosophic and profound, when he and I +chanced to be alone together in the office, say that all first-rate +thieves were sober, and of well-regulated morals, their bodily passions +being kept in abeyance by their love of gain; but this axiom could +scarcely hold good with respect to these women--however thievish they +might be, they did care for something besides gain: they cared for their +husbands. If they did thieve, they merely thieved for their husbands; +and though, perhaps, some of them were vain, they merely prized their +beauty because it gave them favour in the eyes of their husbands. +Whatever the husbands were--and Jasper had almost insinuated that the +males occasionally allowed themselves some latitude--they appeared to be +as faithful to their husbands as the ancient Roman matrons were to +theirs. Roman matrons! and, after all, might not these be in reality +Roman matrons? They called themselves Romans; might not they be the +descendants of the old Roman matrons? Might not they be of the same +blood as Lucretia? And were not many of their strange names--Lucretia +amongst the rest--handed down to them from old Rome? It is true their +language was not that of old Rome; it was not, however, altogether +different from it. After all, the ancient Romans might be a tribe of +these people, who settled down and founded a village with the tilts of +carts, which by degrees, and the influx of other people, became the grand +city of the world. I liked the idea of the grand city of the world owing +its origin to a people who had been in the habit of carrying their houses +in their carts. Why, after all, should not the Romans of history be a +branch of these Romans? There were several points of similarity between +them; if Roman matrons were chaste, both men and women were thieves. Old +Rome was the thief of the world; yet still there were difficulties to be +removed before I could persuade myself that the old Romans and my Romans +were identical; and in trying to remove these difficulties, I felt my +brain once more beginning to turn, and in haste took up another subject +of meditation, and that was the patteran, and what Ursula had told me +about it. + +I had always entertained a strange interest for that sign by which in +their wanderings the Romanese gave to those of their people who came +behind intimation as to the direction which they took; but it now +inspired me with greater interest than ever,--now that I had learned that +the proper meaning of it was the leaves of trees. I had, as I had said +in my dialogue with Ursula, been very eager to learn the word for leaf in +the Romanian language, but had never learned it till this day; so +patteran signified leaf, the leaf of a tree; and no one at present knew +that but myself and Ursula, who had learned it from Mrs. Herne, the last, +it was said, of the old stock; and then I thought what strange people the +gypsies must have been in the old time. They were sufficiently strange at +present, but they must have been far stranger of old; they must have been +a more peculiar people--their language must have been more perfect--and +they must have had a greater stock of strange secrets. I almost wished +that I had lived some two or three hundred years ago, that I might have +observed these people when they were yet stranger than at present. I +wondered whether I could have introduced myself to their company at that +period, whether I should have been so fortunate as to meet such a +strange, half-malicious, half good-humoured being as Jasper, who would +have instructed me in the language, then more deserving of note than at +present. What might I not have done with that language, had I known it +in its purity? Why, I might have written books in it; yet those who +spoke it would hardly have admitted me to their society at that period, +when they kept more to themselves. Yet I thought that I might possibly +have gained their confidence, and have wandered about with them, and +learned their language, and all their strange ways, and then--and +then--and a sigh rose from the depth of my breast; for I began to think, +"Supposing I had accomplished all this, what would have been the profit +of it? and in what would all this wild gypsy dream have terminated?" + +Then rose another sigh, yet more profound, for I began to think, "What +was likely to be the profit of my present way of life; the living in +dingles, making pony and donkey shoes, conversing with gypsy-women under +hedges, and extracting from them their odd secrets?" What was likely to +be the profit of such a kind of life, even should it continue for a +length of time?--a supposition not very probable, for I was earning +nothing to support me, and the funds with which I had entered upon this +life were gradually disappearing. I was living, it is true, not +unpleasantly, enjoying the healthy air of heaven; but, upon the whole, +was I not sadly misspending my time? Surely I was; and, as I looked +back, it appeared to me that I had always been doing so. What had been +the profit of the tongues which I had learned? had they ever assisted me +in the day of hunger? No, no! it appeared to me that I had always +misspent my time, save in one instance, when by a desperate effort I had +collected all the powers of my imagination, and written the "Life of +Joseph Sell" {326}; but even when I wrote the Life of Sell, was I not in +a false position? Provided I had not misspent my time, would it have +been necessary to make that effort, which, after all, had only enabled me +to leave London, and wander about the country for a time? But could I, +taking all circumstances into consideration, have done better than I had? +With my peculiar temperament and ideas, could I have pursued with +advantage the profession to which my respectable parents had endeavoured +to bring me up? It appeared to me that I could not, and that the hand of +necessity had guided me from my earliest years, until the present night +in which I found myself seated in the dingle, staring on the brands of +the fire. But ceasing to think of the past which, as irrecoverably gone, +it was useless to regret, even were there cause to regret it, what should +I do in future? Should I write another book like the "Life of Joseph +Sell," take it to London, and offer it to a publisher? But when I +reflected on the grisly sufferings which I had undergone whilst engaged +in writing the "Life of Sell," I shrank from the idea of a similar +attempt; moreover, I doubted whether I possessed the power to write a +similar work--whether the materials for the life of another Sell lurked +within the recesses of my brain? Had I not better become in reality what +I had hitherto been merely playing at--a tinker or a gypsy? But I soon +saw that I was not fitted to become either in reality. It was much more +agreeable to play the gypsy or the tinker, than to become either in +reality. I had seen enough of gypsying and tinkering to be convinced of +that. All of a sudden the idea of tilling the soil came into my head; +tilling the soil was a healthful and noble pursuit! but my idea of +tilling the soil had no connection with Britain; for I could only expect +to till the soil in Britain as a serf. I thought of tilling it in +America, in which it was said there was plenty of wild, unclaimed land, +of which any one, who chose to clear it of its trees, might take +possession. I figured myself in America, in an immense forest, clearing +the land destined, by my exertions, to become a fruitful and smiling +plain. Methought I heard the crash of the huge trees as they fell +beneath my axe; and then I bethought me that a man was intended to +marry--I ought to marry; and if I married, where was I likely to be more +happy as a husband and a father than in America, engaged in tilling the +ground? I fancied myself in America, engaged in tilling the ground, +assisted by an enormous progeny. Well, why not marry, and go and till +the ground in America? I was young, and youth was the time to marry in, +and to labour in. I had the use of all my faculties; my eyes, it is +true, were rather dull from early study, and from writing the "Life of +Joseph Sell"; but I could see tolerably well with them, and they were not +bleared. I felt my arms, and thighs, and teeth--they were strong and +sound enough; so now was the time to labour, to marry, eat strong flesh, +and beget strong children--the power of doing all this would pass away +with youth, which was terribly transitory. I bethought me that a time +would come when my eyes would be bleared, and, perhaps, sightless; my +arms and thighs strengthless and sapless; when my teeth would shake in my +jaws, even supposing they did not drop out. No going a wooing then--no +labouring--no eating strong flesh, and begetting lusty children then; and +I bethought me how, when all this should be, 1 should bewail the days of +my youth as misspent, provided I had not in them founded for myself a +home, and begotten strong children to take care of me in the days when I +could not take care of myself; and thinking of these things, I became +sadder and sadder, and stared vacantly upon the fire till my eyes closed +in a doze. + +I continued dozing over the fire, until rousing myself I perceived that +the brands were nearly consumed, and I thought of retiring for the night. +I arose, and was about to enter my tent, when a thought struck me. +"Suppose," thought I, "that Isopel Berners should return in the midst of +the night, how dark and dreary would the dingle appear without a fire! +truly, I will keep up the fire, and I will do more; I have no board to +spread for her, but I will fill the kettle, and heat it, so that if she +comes, I may be able to welcome her with a cup of tea, for I know she +loves tea." Thereupon, I piled more wood upon the fire, and soon +succeeded in producing a better blaze than before; then, taking the +kettle, I set out for the spring. On arriving at the mouth of the +dingle, which fronted the east, I perceived that Charles's wain was +nearly opposite to it, high above in the heavens, by which I knew that +the night was tolerably well advanced. The gypsy encampment lay before +me; all was hushed and still within it, and its inmates appeared to be +locked in slumber; as I advanced, however, the dogs, which were fastened +outside the tents, growled and barked; but presently recognising me, they +were again silent, some of them wagging their tails. As I drew near a +particular tent, I heard a female voice say--"Some one is coming!" and, +as I was about to pass it, the cloth which formed the door was suddenly +lifted up, and a black head and part of a huge naked body protruded. It +was the head and upper part of the giant Tawno, who, according to the +fashion of gypsy men, lay next the door, wrapped in his blanket; the +blanket had, however, fallen off, and the starlight shone clear on his +athletic tawny body, and was reflected from his large staring eyes. + +"It is only I, Tawno," said I, "going to fill the kettle, as it is +possible that Miss Berners may arrive this night." "Kos-ko," {330} +drawled out Tawno, and replaced the curtain. "Good, do you call it?" +said the sharp voice of his wife; "there is no good in the matter; if +that young chap were not living with the rawnee in the illegal and +uncertificated line, he would not be getting up in the middle of the +night to fill her kettles." Passing on, I proceeded to the spring, where +I filled the kettle, and then returned to the dingle. + +Placing the kettle upon the fire, I watched it till it began to boil; +then removing it from the top of the brands, I placed it close beside the +fire, and leaving it simmering, I retired to my tent; where, having taken +off my shoes, and a few of my garments, I lay down on my palliasse, and +was not long in falling asleep. I believe I slept soundly for some time, +thinking and dreaming of nothing: suddenly, however, my sleep became +disturbed, and the subject of the patterans began to occupy my brain. I +imagined that I saw Ursula tracing her husband, Launcelot Lovell, by +means of his patterans; I imagined that she had considerable difficulty +in doing so; that she was occasionally interrupted by parish beadles and +constables, who asked her whither she was travelling, to whom she gave +various answers. Presently methought that, as she was passing by a farm- +yard, two fierce and savage dogs flew at her; I was in great trouble, I +remember, and wished to assist her, but could not, for though I seemed to +see her, I was still at a distance: and now it appeared that she had +escaped from the dogs, and was proceeding with her cart along a gravelly +path which traversed a wild moor; I could hear the wheels grating amidst +sand and gravel. The next moment I was awake, and found myself sitting +up in my tent; there was a glimmer of light through the canvas caused by +the fire; a feeling of dread came over me, which was perhaps natural, on +starting suddenly from one's sleep in that wild lone place; I half +imagined that some one was nigh the tent; the idea made me rather +uncomfortable, and to dissipate it I lifted up the canvas of the door and +peeped out, and, lo! I had an indistinct view of a tall figure standing +by the tent. "Who is that?" said I, whilst I felt my blood rush to my +heart. "It is I," said the voice of Isopel Berners; "you little expected +me, I dare say; well, sleep on, I do not wish to disturb you." "But I +was expecting you," said I, recovering myself, "as you may see by the +fire and the kettle. I will be with you in a moment." + +Putting on in haste the articles of dress which I had flung off, I came +out of the tent, and addressing myself to Isopel, who was standing beside +her cart, I said--"Just as I was about to retire to rest I thought it +possible that you might come to-night, and got everything in readiness +for you. Now, sit down by the fire whilst I lead the donkey and cart to +the place where you stay; I will unharness the animal, and presently come +and join you." "I need not trouble you," said Isopel; "I will go myself +and see after my things." "We will go together," said I, "and then +return and have some tea." Isopel made no objection, and in about half- +an-hour we had arranged everything at her quarters. I then hastened and +prepared tea. Presently Isopel rejoined me, bringing her stool; she had +divested herself of her bonnet, and her hair fell over her shoulders; she +sat down, and I poured out the beverage, handing her a cup. "Have you +made a long journey to-night?" said I. "A very long one," replied Belle, +"I have come nearly twenty miles since six o'clock." "I believe I heard +you coming in my sleep," said I; "did the dogs above bark at you?" "Yes," +said Isopel, "very violently; did you think of me in your sleep?" "No," +said I, "I was thinking of Ursula and something she had told me." "When +and where was that?" said Isopel. "Yesterday evening," said I, "beneath +the dingle hedge." "Then you were talking with her beneath the hedge?" +"I was," said I, "but only upon gypsy matters. Do you know, Belle, that +she has just been married to Sylvester, so you need not think that she +and I . . ." "She and you are quite at liberty to sit where you please," +said Isopel. "However, young man," she continued, dropping her tone, +which she had slightly raised, "I believe what you said, that you were +merely talking about gypsy matters, and also what you were going to say, +if it was, as I suppose, that she and you had no particular +acquaintance." Isopel was now silent for some time. "What are you +thinking of?" said I. "I was thinking," said Belle, "how exceedingly +kind it was of you to get everything in readiness for me, though you did +not know that I should come." "I had a presentiment that you would +come," said I; "but you forget that I have prepared the kettle for you +before, though it was true I was then certain that you would come." "I +had not forgotten your doing so, young man," said Belle; "but I was +beginning to think that you were utterly selfish, caring for nothing but +the gratification of your own strange whims." "I am very fond of having +my own way," said I, "but utterly selfish I am not, as I dare say I shall +frequently prove to you. You will often find the kettle boiling when you +come home." "Not heated by you," said Isopel, with a sigh. "By whom +else?" said I; "surely you are not thinking of driving me away?" "You +have as much right here as myself," said Isopel, "as I have told you +before; but I must be going myself." "Well," said I, "we can go +together; to tell you the truth, I am rather tired of this place." "Our +paths must be separate," said Belle. "Separate," said I, "what do you +mean? I shan't let you go alone, I shall go with you; and you know the +road is as free to me as to you; besides, you can't think of parting +company with me, considering how much you would lose by doing so; +remember that you scarcely know anything of the Armenian language; now, +to learn Armenian from me would take you twenty years." + +Belle faintly smiled. "Come," said I, "take another cup of tea." Belle +took another cup of tea, and yet another; we had some indifferent +conversation, after which I arose and gave her donkey a considerable feed +of corn. Belle thanked me, shook me by the hand, and then went to her +own tabernacle, and I returned to mine. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX.--VISIT TO THE LANDLORD--HIS MORTIFICATIONS--HUNTER AND HIS +CLAN--RESOLUTION. + + +On the following morning, after breakfasting with Belle, who was silent +and melancholy, I left her in the dingle, and took a stroll amongst the +neighbouring lanes. After some time I thought I would pay a visit to the +landlord of the public-house, whom I had not seen since the day when he +communicated to me his intention of changing his religion. I therefore +directed my steps to the house, and on entering it found the landlord +standing in the kitchen. Just then two mean-looking fellows, who had +been drinking at one of the tables, and who appeared to be the only +customers in the house, got up, brushed past the landlord, and saying in +a surly tone "We shall pay you some time or other," took their departure. +"That's the way they serve me now," said the landlord, with a sigh. "Do +you know those fellows," I demanded, "since you let them go away in your +debt?" "I know nothing about them," said the landlord, "save that they +are a couple of scamps." "Then why did you let them go away without +paying you?" said I. "I had not the heart to stop them," said the +landlord; "and, to tell you the truth, everybody serves me so now, and I +suppose they are right, for a child could flog me." "Nonsense," said I, +"behave more like a man, and with respect to those two fellows run after +them, I will go with you, and if they refuse to pay the reckoning I will +help you to shake some money out of their clothes." "Thank you," said +the landlord; "but as they are gone, let them go on. What they have +drank is not of much consequence." "What is the matter with you?" said +I, staring at the landlord, who appeared strangely altered; his features +were wild and haggard, his formerly bluff cheeks were considerably sunken +in, and his figure had lost much of its plumpness. "Have you changed +your religion already, and has the fellow in black commanded you to +fast?" "I have not changed my religion yet," said the landlord, with a +kind of shudder; "I am to change it publicly this day fortnight, and the +idea of doing so--I do not mind telling you--preys much upon my mind; +moreover, the noise of the thing has got abroad, and everybody is +laughing at me, and what's more, coming and drinking my beer, and going +away without paying for it, whilst I feel myself like one bewitched, +wishing but not daring to take my own part. Confound the fellow in +black, I wish I had never seen him! yet what can I do without him? The +brewer swears that unless I pay him fifty pounds within a fortnight he'll +send a distress warrant into the house, and take all I have. My poor +niece is crying in the room above; and I am thinking of going into the +stable and hanging myself; and perhaps it's the best thing I can do, for +it's better to hang myself before selling my soul than afterwards, as I'm +sure I should, like Judas Iscariot, whom my poor niece, who is somewhat +religiously inclined, has been talking to me about." "I wish I could +assist you," said I, "with money, but that is quite out of my power. +However, I can give you a piece of advice. Don't change your religion by +any means; you can't hope to prosper if you do; and if the brewer chooses +to deal hardly with you, let him. Everybody would respect you ten times +more provided you allowed yourself to be turned into the roads rather +than change your religion, than if you got fifty pounds for renouncing +it." "I am half inclined to take your advice," said the landlord, "only, +to tell you the truth, I feel quite low, without any heart in me." "Come +into the bar," said I, "and let us have something together--you need not +be afraid of my not paying for what I order." + +We went into the bar-room, where the landlord and I discussed between us +two bottles of strong ale, which he said were part of the last six which +he had in his possession. At first he wished to drink sherry, but I +begged him to do no such thing, telling him that the sherry would do him +no good, under the present circumstances; nor, indeed, to the best of my +belief under any, it being of all wines the one for which I entertained +the most contempt. The landlord allowed himself to be dissuaded, and, +after a glass or two of ale, confessed that sherry was a sickly +disagreeable drink, and that he had merely been in the habit of taking it +from an idea he had that it was genteel. Whilst quaffing our beverage, +he gave me an account of the various mortifications to which he had of +late been subject, dwelling with particular bitterness on the conduct of +Hunter, who, he said, came every night and mouthed him, and afterwards +went away without paying for what he had drank or smoked, in which +conduct he was closely imitated by a clan of fellows who constantly +attended him. After spending several hours at the public-house I +departed, not forgetting to pay for the two bottles of ale. The +landlord, before I went, shaking me by the hand, declared that he had now +made up his mind to stick to his religion at all hazards, the more +especially as he was convinced he should derive no good by giving it up. +{337} + + + + +CHAPTER XXX.--PREPARATIONS FOR THE FAIR--THE LAST LESSON--THE VERB +SIRIEL. + + +It might be about five in the evening when I reached the gypsy +encampment. Here I found Mr. Petulengro, Tawno Chikno, Sylvester, and +others, in a great bustle, clipping and trimming certain ponies and old +horses which they had brought with them. On inquiring of Jasper the +reason of their being so engaged, he informed me that they were getting +the horses ready for a fair, which was to be held on the morrow, at a +place some miles distant, at which they should endeavour to dispose of +them, adding--"Perhaps, brother, you will go with us, provided you have +nothing better to do?" Not having any particular engagement, I assured +him that I should have great pleasure in being of the party. It was +agreed that we should start early on the following morning. Thereupon I +descended into the dingle. Belle was sitting before the fire, at which +the kettle was boiling. "Were you waiting for me?" I inquired. "Yes," +said Belle, "I thought that you would come, and I waited for you." "That +was very kind," said I. "Not half so kind," said she, "as it was of you +to get everything ready for me in the dead of last night, when there was +scarcely a chance of my coming." The tea-things were brought forward, +and we sat down. "Have you been far?" said Belle. "Merely to that +public-house," said I, "to which you directed me on the second day of our +acquaintance." "Young men should not make a habit of visiting public- +houses," said Belle, "they are bad places." "They may be so to some +people," said I, "but I do not think the worst public-house in England +could do me any harm." "Perhaps you are so bad already," said Belle, +with a smile, "that it would be impossible to spoil you." "How dare you +catch at my words?" said I; "come, I will make you pay for doing so--you +shall have this evening the longest lesson in Armenian which I have yet +inflicted upon you." "You may well say inflicted," said Belle, "but pray +spare me. I do not wish to hear anything about Armenian, especially this +evening." "Why this evening?" said I. Belle made no answer. "I will +not spare you," said I; "this evening I intend to make you conjugate an +Armenian verb." "Well, be it so," said Belle; "for this evening you +shall command." "To command is hramahyel," said I. "Ram her ill, +indeed," said Belle; "I do not wish to begin with that." "No," said I, +"as we have come to the verbs, we will begin regularly; hramahyel is a +verb of the second conjugation. We will begin with the first." "First +of all tell me," said Belle, "what a verb is?" "A part of speech," said +I, "which, according to the dictionary, signifies some action or passion; +for example, I command you, or I hate you." "I have given you no cause +to hate me," said Belle, looking me sorrowfully in the face. + +"I was merely giving two examples," said I, "and neither was directed at +you. In those examples, to command and hate are verbs. Belle, in +Armenian there are four conjugations of verbs; the first end in al, the +second in yel, the third in oul, and the fourth in il. Now, have you +understood me?" + +"I am afraid, indeed, it will all end ill," said Belle. "Hold your +tongue," said I, "or you will make me lose my patience." "You have +already made me nearly lose mine," said Belle. "Let us have no +unprofitable interruptions," said I. "The conjugations of the Armenian +verbs are neither so numerous nor so difficult as the declensions of the +nouns; hear that, and rejoice. Come, we will begin with the verb hntal, +a verb of the first conjugation, which signifies to rejoice. Come along: +hntam, I rejoice; hntas, thou rejoicest: why don't you follow, Belle?" + +"I am sure I don't rejoice, whatever you may do," said Belle. "The chief +difficulty, Belle," said I, "that I find in teaching you the Armenian +grammar, proceeds from your applying to yourself and me every example I +give. Rejoice, in this instance, is merely an example of an Armenian +verb of the first conjugation, and has no more to do with your rejoicing +than lal, which is also a verb of the first conjugation, and which +signifies to weep, would have to do with your weeping, provided I made +you conjugate it. Come along: hntam. I rejoice; hntas, thou rejoicest; +hnta, he rejoices; hntamk, we rejoice: now, repeat those words." + +"I can't," said Belle, "they sound more like the language of horses than +of human beings. Do you take me for . . .?" "For what?" said I. Belle +was silent. "Were you going to say mare?" said I. "Mare! mare! by-the- +bye, do you know, Belle, that mare in old English stands for woman; and +that when we call a female an evil mare, the strict meaning of the term +is merely bad woman. So if I were to call you mare, without prefixing +bad, you must not be offended." "But I should, though," said Belle. "I +was merely attempting to make you acquainted with a philological fact," +said I. "If mare, which in old English, and likewise in vulgar English, +signifies a woman, sounds the same as mare, which in modern and polite +English signifies a female horse, I can't help it. There is no such +confusion of sounds in Armenian, not, at least, in the same instance. +Belle, in Armenian, woman is ghin, the same word, by-the-bye, as our +queen, whereas mare is madagh tzi, which signifies a female horse; and +perhaps you will permit me to add, that a hard-mouthed jade is, in +Armenian, madagh tzi hsdierah." + +"I can't bear this much longer," said Belle. "Keep yourself quiet," said +I; "I wish to be gentle with you; and to convince you, we will skip +hntal, and also for the present verbs of the first conjugation, and +proceed to the second. Belle, I will now select for you to conjugate the +prettiest verb in Armenian; not only of the second, but also of all the +four conjugations; that verb is siriel. Here is the present +tense:--siriem, siries, sire, siriemk, sirek, sirien. You observe that +it runs on just in the same manner as hntal, save and except that e is +substituted for a; and it will be as well to tell you that almost the +only difference between the second, third, and fourth conjugations, and +the first, is the substituting in the present, preterite, and other +tenses e, or ou, or i for a; so you see that the Armenian verbs are by no +means difficult. Come on, Belle, and say siriem." Belle hesitated. +"Pray oblige me, Belle, by saying siriem!" Belle still appeared to +hesitate. "You must admit, Belle, that it is much softer than hntam." +"It is so," said Belle; "and to oblige you, I will say siriem." "Very +well indeed, Belle," said I. "No vartabied, or doctor, could have +pronounced it better; and now, to show you how verbs act upon pronouns in +Armenian, I will say siriem zkiez. Please to repeat siriem zkiez!" +"Siriem zkiez!" said Belle; "that last word is very hard to say." "Sorry +that you think so, Belle," said I. "Now please to say siria zis." Belle +did so. "Exceedingly well," said I. "Now say yerani the sireir zis." +"Yerani the sireir zis," said Belle. "Capital!" said I; "you have now +said, I love you--love me--ah! would that you would love me!" + +"And I have said all these things?" said Belle. "Yes," said I; "you have +said them in Armenian." "I would have said them in no language that I +understood," said Belle; "and it was very wrong of you to take advantage +of my ignorance, and make me say such things." "Why so?" said I; "if you +said them, I said them too." "You did so," said Belle; "but I believe +you were merely bantering and jeering." "As I told you before, Belle," +said I, "the chief difficulty which I find in teaching you Armenian +proceeds from your persisting in applying to yourself and me every +example I give." "Then you meant nothing after all?" said Belle, raising +her voice. "Let us proceed," said I; "sirietsi, I loved." "You never +loved any one but yourself," said Belle; "and what's more. . ." +"Sirietsits, I will love," said I; "sirietsies, thou wilt love." "Never +one so thoroughly heartless," said Belle. "I tell you what, Belle, you +are becoming intolerable, but we will change the verb; or rather I will +now proceed to tell you here, that some of the Armenian conjugations have +their anomalies; one species of these I wish to bring before your notice. +As old Villotte {343} says--from whose work I first contrived to pick up +the rudiments of Armenian--'Est verborum transitivorum, quorum +infinitivus . . .' but I forgot, you don't understand Latin. He says +there are certain transitive verbs, whose infinitive is in outsaniel; the +preterite in outsi; the imperative in oue; for +example--parghat-soutsaniem, I irritate . . ." + +"You do, you do," said Belle; "and it will be better for both of us if +you leave off doing so." + +"You would hardly believe, Belle," said I, "that the Armenian is in some +respects closely connected with the Irish, but so it is; for example, +that word parghat-soutsaniem is evidently derived from the same root as +feargaim, which, in Irish, is as much as to say I vex." + +"You do, indeed," said Belle, sobbing. + +"But how do you account for it?" + +"O man, man!" said Belle, bursting into tears, "for what purpose do you +ask a poor ignorant girl such a question, unless it be to vex and +irritate her? If you wish to display your learning, do so to the wise +and instructed, and not to me, who can scarcely read or write. Oh, leave +off your nonsense; yet I know you will not do so, for it is the breath of +your nostrils! I could have wished we should have parted in kindness, +but you will not permit it. I have deserved better at your hands than +such treatment. The whole time we have kept company together in this +place, I have scarcely had one kind word from you, but the strangest . . ." +and here the voice of Belle was drowned in her sobs. + +"I am sorry to see you take on so, dear Belle," said I. "I really have +given you no cause to be so unhappy; surely teaching you a little +Armenian was a very innocent kind of diversion." + +"Yes, but you went on so long, and in such a strange way, and made me +repeat such strange examples, as you call them, that I could not bear +it." + +"Why, to tell you the truth, Belle, it's my way; and I have dealt with +you just as I would with . . ." + +"A hard-mouthed jade," said Belle, "and you practising your +horse-witchery upon her. I have been of an unsubdued spirit, I +acknowledge, but I was always kind to you; and if you have made me cry, +it's a poor thing to boast of." + +"Boast of!" said I; "a pretty thing indeed to boast of; I had no idea of +making you cry. Come, I beg your pardon; what more can I do? Come, +cheer up, Belle. You were talking of parting; don't let us part, but +depart, and that together." + +"Our ways lie different," said Belle. + +"I don't see why they should," said I. "Come, let us be off to America +together!" + +"To America together?" said Belle, looking full at me. + +"Yes," said I; "where we will settle down in some forest, and conjugate +the verb siriel conjugally." + +"Conjugally?" said Belle. + +"Yes," said I; "as man and wife in America, air yew ghin." + +"You are jesting, as usual," said Belle. + +"Not I, indeed. Come, Belle, make up your mind, and let us be off to +America; and leave priests, humbug, learning, and languages behind us." + +"I don't think you arc jesting," said Belle; "but I can hardly entertain +your offers; however, young man, I thank you." + +"You had better make up your mind at once," said I, "and let us be off. I +shan't make a bad husband, I assure you. Perhaps you think I am not +worthy of you? To convince you, Belle, that I am, I am ready to try a +fall with you this moment upon the grass. Brynhilda, the valkyrie, swore +that no one should marry her who could not fling her down. Perhaps you +have done the same. The man who eventually married her, got a friend of +his, who was called Sigurd, the serpent-killer, to wrestle with her, +disguising him in his own armour. Sigurd flung her down, and won her for +his friend, though he loved her himself. I shall not use a similar +deceit, nor employ Jasper Petulengro to personate me--so get up, Belle, +and I will do my best to fling you down." + +"I require no such thing of you, or anybody," said Belle; "you are +beginning to look rather wild." + +"I every now and then do," said I; "come, Belle, what do you say?" + +"I will say nothing at present on the subject," said Belle; "I must have +time to consider." + +"Just as you please," said I; "to-morrow I go to a fair with Mr. +Petulengro, perhaps you will consider whilst I am away. Come, Belle, let +us have some more tea. I wonder whether we shall be able to procure tea +as good as this in the American forest." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI.--THE DAWN OF DAY--THE LAST FAREWELL--DEPARTURE FOR THE +FAIR--THE FINE HORSE--RETURN TO THE DINGLE--NO ISOPEL. + + +It was about the dawn of day when I was awakened by the voice of Mr. +Petulengro shouting from the top of the dingle, and bidding me get up. I +arose instantly, and dressed myself for the expedition to the fair. On +leaving my tent, I was surprised to observe Belle, entirely dressed, +standing close to her own little encampment. "Dear me," said I, "I +little expected to find you up so early. I suppose Jasper's call +awakened you, as it did me." "I merely lay down in my things," said +Belle, "and have not slept during the night." "And why did you not take +off your things and go to sleep?" said I. "I did not undress," said +Belle, "because I wished to be in readiness to bid you farewell when you +departed; and as for sleeping, I could not." "Well, God bless you!" said +I, taking Belle by the hand. Belle made no answer, and I observed that +her hand was very cold. "What is the matter with you?" said I, looking +her in the face. Belle looked at me for a moment in the eyes, and then +cast down her own--her features were very pale. "You are really unwell," +said I; "I had better not go to the fair, but stay here, and take care of +you." "No," said Belle, "pray go, I am not unwell." "Then go to your +tent," said I, "and do not endanger your health by standing abroad in the +raw morning air. God bless you, Belle; I shall be home to-night, by +which time I expect you will have made up your mind; if not, another +lesson in Armenian, however late the hour be." I then wrung Belle's +hand, and ascended to the plain above. + +I found the Romany party waiting for me, and everything in readiness for +departing. Mr. Petulengro and Tawno Chikno were mounted on two old +horses. The rest who intended to go to the fair, amongst whom were two +or three women, were on foot. On arriving at the extremity of the plain, +I looked towards the dingle. Isopel Berners stood at the mouth, the +beams of the early morning sun shone full on her noble face and figure. I +waved my hand towards her. She slowly lifted up her right arm. I turned +away, and never saw Isopel Berners again. {348} + +My companions and myself proceeded on our way. In about two hours we +reached the place where the fair was to be held. After breakfasting on +bread and cheese and ale behind a broken stone wall, we drove our animals +to the fair. The fair was a common cattle and horse fair: there was +little merriment going on, but there was no lack of business. By about +two o'clock in the afternoon, Mr. Petulengro and his people had disposed +of their animals at what they conceived very fair prices--they were all +in high spirits, and Jasper proposed to adjourn to a public-house. As we +were proceeding to one, a very fine horse, led by a jockey, made its +appearance on the ground. Mr. Petulengro stopped short, and looked at it +steadfastly: "Fino covar dove odoy sas miro--a fine thing were that, if +it were but mine!" he exclaimed. "If you covet it," said I, "why do you +not purchase it?" "We low gyptians never buy animals of that +description; if we did we could never sell them, and most likely should +be had up as horse-stealers." "Then why did you say just now, 'It were a +fine thing if it were but yours'?" said I. "We gyptians always say so +when we see anything that we admire. An animal like that is not intended +for a little hare like me, but for some grand gentleman like yourself. I +say, brother, do you buy that horse!" "How should I buy the horse, you +foolish person?" said I. "Buy the horse, brother," said Mr. Petulengro; +"if you have not the money I can lend it you, though I be of lower +Egypt." "You talk nonsense," said I; "however, I wish you would ask the +man the price of it." Mr. Petulengro, going up to the jockey, inquired +the price of the horse--the man, looking at him scornfully, made no +reply. "Young man," said I, going up to the jockey, "do me the favour to +tell me the price of that horse, as I suppose it is to sell." The +jockey, who was a surly-looking man of about fifty, looked at me for a +moment, then, after some hesitation, said laconically, "Seventy." "Thank +you," said I, and turned away. "Buy that horse," said Mr. Petulengro, +coming after me; "the dook tells me that in less than three months he +will be sold for twice seventy." "I will have nothing to do with him," +said I; "besides, Jasper, I don't like his tail. Did you observe what a +mean scrubby tail he has?" "What a fool you are, brother!" said Mr. +Petulengro; "that very tail of his shows his breeding. No good bred +horse ever yet carried a fine tail--'tis your scrubby-tailed horses that +are your out-and-outers. Did you ever hear of Syntax, brother? That +tail of his puts me in mind of Syntax. Well, I say nothing more, have +your own way--all I wonder at is, that a horse like him was ever brought +to such a fair of dog cattle as this." + +We then made the best of our way to a public-house, where we had some +refreshment. I then proposed returning to the encampment, but Mr. +Petulengro declined, and remained drinking with his companions till about +six o'clock in the evening, when various jockeys from the fair come in. +After some conversation a jockey proposed a game of cards; and in a +little time, Mr. Petulengro and another gypsy sat down to play a game of +cards with two of the jockeys. + +Though not much acquainted with cards, I soon conceived a suspicion that +the jockeys were cheating Mr. Petulengro and his companion; I therefore +called Mr. Petulengro aside, and gave him a hint to that effect. Mr. +Petulengro, however, instead of thanking me, told me to mind my own bread +and butter, and forthwith returned to his game. I continued watching the +players for some hours. The gypsies lost considerably, and I saw clearly +that the jockeys were cheating them most confoundedly. I therefore once +more called Mr. Petulengro aside, and told him that the jockeys were +cheating him, conjuring him to return to the encampment. Mr. Petulengro, +who was by this time somewhat the worse for liquor, now fell into a +passion, swore several oaths, and asking me who had made me a Moses over +him and his brethren, told me to return to the encampment by myself. +Incensed at the unworthy return which my well-meant words had received, I +forthwith left the house, and having purchased a few articles of +provision, I set out for the dingle alone. It was dark night when I +reached it, and descending I saw the glimmer of a fire from the depths of +the dingle; my heart beat with fond anticipation of a welcome. "Isopel +Berners is waiting for me," said I, "and the first word that I shall hear +from her lips is that she has made up her mind. We shall go to America, +and be so happy together." On reaching the bottom of the dingle, +however, I saw seated near the fire, beside which stood the kettle +simmering, not Isopel Berners, but a gypsy girl, who told me that Miss +Berners when she went away had charged her to keep up the fire, and have +the kettle boiling against my arrival. Startled at these words, I +inquired at what hour Isopel had left, and whither she was gone, and was +told that she had left the dingle, with her cart, about two hours after I +departed; but where she was gone the girl did not know. I then asked +whether she had left no message, and the girl replied that she had left +none, but had merely given directions about the kettle and fire, putting, +at the same time, sixpence into her hand. "Very strange," thought I; +then dismissing the gypsy girl I sat down by the fire. I had no wish for +tea, but sat looking on the embers, wondering what could be the motive of +the sudden departure of Isopel. "Does she mean to return?" thought I to +myself. "Surely she means to return," Hope replied, "or she would not +have gone away without leaving any message"--"and yet she could scarcely +mean to return," muttered Foreboding, "or she would assuredly have left +some message with the girl." I then thought to myself what a hard thing +it would be, if, after having made up my mind to assume the yoke of +matrimony, I should be disappointed of the woman of my choice. "Well, +after all," thought I, "I can scarcely be disappointed; if such an ugly +scoundrel as Sylvester had no difficulty in getting such a nice wife as +Ursula, surely I, who am not a tenth part so ugly, cannot fail to obtain +the hand of Isopel Berners, uncommonly fine damsel though she be. +Husbands do not grow upon hedge-rows; she is merely gone after a little +business and will return to-morrow." + +Comforted in some degree by these hopeful imaginings, I retired to my +tent, and went to sleep. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII.--GLOOMY FOREBODINGS--THE POSTMAN'S MOTHER--A VALEDICTORY +LETTER FROM ISOPEL WITH A LOCK OF HER HAIR--THE END OF A CHAPTER IN THE +LIFE OF THE ROMANY RYE--AND OF THE BOOK OF ISOPEL BERNERS. + + +Nothing occurred to me of any particular moment during the following day. +Isopel Berners did not return; but Mr. Petulengro and his companions came +home from the fair early in the morning. When I saw him, which was about +mid-day, I found him with his face bruised and swelled. It appeared +that, some time after I had left him, he himself perceived that the +jockeys with whom he was playing cards were cheating him and his +companion; a quarrel ensued, which terminated in a fight between Mr. +Petulengro and one of the jockeys, which lasted some time, and in which +Mr. Petulengro, though he eventually came off victor, was considerably +beaten. His bruises, in conjunction with his pecuniary loss, which +amounted to about seven pounds, were the cause of his being much out of +humour; before night, however, he had returned to his usual philosophic +frame of mind, and, coming up to me as I was walking about, apologised +for his behaviour on the preceding day, and assured me that he was +determined, from that time forward, never to quarrel with a friend for +giving him good advice. + +Two more days passed, and still Isopel Berners did not return. Gloomy +thoughts and forebodings filled my mind. During the day I wandered about +the neighbouring roads in the hopes of catching an early glimpse of her +and her returning vehicle; and at night lay awake, tossing about on my +hard couch, listening to the rustle of every leaf, and occasionally +thinking that I heard the sound of her wheels upon the distant road. Once +at midnight, just as I was about to fall into unconsciousness, I suddenly +started up, for I was convinced that I heard the sound of wheels. I +listened most anxiously, and the sound of wheels striking against stones +was certainly plain enough. "She comes at last," thought I, and for a +few moments I felt as if a mountain had been removed from my +breast;--"here she comes at last, now, how shall I receive her? Oh," +thought I, "I will receive her rather coolly, just as if I was not +particularly anxious about her--that's the way to manage these women." +The next moment the sound became very loud, rather too loud, I thought, +to proceed from her wheels, and then by degrees became fainter. Rushing +out of my tent, I hurried up the path to the top of the dingle, where I +heard the sound distinctly enough, but it was going from me, and +evidently proceeded from something much larger than the cart of Isopel. I +could, moreover, hear the stamping of a horse's hoofs at a lumbering +trot. Those only whose hopes have been wrought up to a high pitch, and +then suddenly dashed down, can imagine what I felt at that moment; and +yet when I returned to my lonely tent, and lay down on my hard pallet, +the voice of conscience told me that the misery I was then undergoing, I +had fully merited, from the unkind manner in which I had intended to +receive her, when for a brief moment I supposed that she had returned. + +It was on the morning after this affair, and the fourth, if I forget not, +from the time of Isopel's departure, that, as I was seated on my stone at +the bottom of the dingle, getting my breakfast, I heard an unknown voice +from the path above--apparently that of a person descending--exclaim, +"Here's a strange place to bring a letter to;" and presently an old +woman, with a belt round her middle, to which was attached a leathern +bag, made her appearance, and stood before me. + +"Well, if I ever!" said she, as she looked about her. "My good +gentlewoman," said I, "pray what may you please to want?" "Gentlewoman!" +said the old dame, "please to want!--well, I call that speaking civilly, +at any rate. It is true, civil words cost nothing; nevertheless, we do +not always get them. What I please to want is to deliver a letter to a +young man in this place; perhaps you be he?" "What's the name on the +letter?" said I, getting up and going to her. "There is no name upon +it," said she, taking a letter out of her scrip and looking at it. "It +is directed to the young man in Mumpers' Dingle." "Then it is for me, I +make no doubt," said I, stretching out my hand to take it. "Please to +pay me ninepence first," said the old woman. "However," said she, after +a moment's thought, "civility is civility, and, being rather a scarce +article, should meet with some return. Here's the letter, young man, and +I hope you will pay for it; for if you do not, I must pay the postage +myself." "You are the postwoman, I suppose?" said I, as I took the +letter. "I am the postman's mother," said the old woman; "but as he has +a wide beat, I help him as much as I can, and I generally carry letters +to places like this, to which he is afraid to come himself." "You say +the postage is ninepence," said I, "here's a shilling." "Well, I call +that honourable," said the old woman, taking the shilling and putting it +into her pocket--"here's your change, young man," said she, offering me +threepence. "Pray keep that for yourself," said I; "you deserve it for +your trouble." "Well, I call that genteel," said the old woman; "and as +one good turn deserves another, since you look as if you couldn't read, I +will read your letter for you. Let's see it; it's from some young woman +or other, I dare say." "Thank you," said I, "but I can read." "All the +better for you," said the old woman; "your being able to read will +frequently save you a penny, for that's the charge I generally make for +reading letters; though, as you behaved so genteelly to me, I should have +charged you nothing. Well, if you can read, why don't you open the +letter, instead of keeping it hanging between your finger and thumb?" "I +am in no hurry to open it," said I, with a sigh. The old woman looked at +me for a moment--"Well, young man," said she, "there are some--especially +those who can read--who don't like to open their letters when anybody is +by, more especially when they come from young women. Well, I won't +intrude upon you, but leave you alone with your letter. I wish it may +contain something pleasant. God bless you," and with these words she +departed. + +I sat down on my stone, with my letter in my hand. I knew perfectly well +that it could have come from no other person than Isopel Berners; but +what did the letter contain? I guessed tolerably well what its purport +was--an eternal farewell! yet I was afraid to open the letter, lest my +expectation should be confirmed. There I sat with the letter, putting +off the evil moment as long as possible. At length I glanced at the +direction, which was written in a fine bold hand, and was directed, as +the old woman had said, to the young man in "Mumpers' Dingle," with the +addition, "near . . ., in the county of . . . ." Suddenly the idea +occurred to me, that, after all, the letter might not contain an eternal +farewell; and that Isopel might have written, requesting me to join her. +Could it be so? "Alas! no," presently said Foreboding. At last I became +ashamed of my weakness. The letter must be opened sooner or later. Why +not at once? So as the bather who, for a considerable time has stood +shivering on the bank, afraid to take the decisive plunge, suddenly takes +it, I tore open the letter almost before I was aware. I had no sooner +done so than a paper fell out. I examined it; it contained a lock of +bright flaxen hair. "This is no good sign," said I, as I thrust the lock +and paper into my bosom, and proceeded to read the letter, which ran as +follows:-- + + "TO THE YOUNG MAN IN MUMPERS' DINGLE. + + "SIR,--I send these lines, with the hope and trust that they will find + you well, even as I am myself at this moment, and in much better + spirits, for my own are not such as I could wish they were, being + sometimes rather hysterical and vapourish, and at other times, and + most often, very low. I am at a sea-port, and am just going on + shipboard; and when you get these I shall be on the salt waters, on my + way to a distant country, and leaving my own behind me, which I do not + expect ever to see again. + + "And now, young man, I will, in the first place, say something about + the manner in which I quitted you. It must have seemed somewhat + singular to you that I went away without taking any leave, or giving + you the slightest hint that I was going; but I did not do so without + considerable reflection. I was afraid that I should not be able to + support a leave-taking; and as you had said that you were determined + to go wherever I did, I thought it best not to tell you at all; for I + did not think it advisable that you should go with me, and I wished to + have no dispute. + + "In the second place, I wish to say something about an offer of + wedlock which you made me; perhaps, young man, had you made it at the + first period of our acquaintance, I should have accepted it, but you + did not, and kept putting off and putting off, and behaving in a very + grange manner, till I could stand your conduct no longer, but + determined upon leaving you and Old England, which last step I had + been long thinking about; so when you made your offer at last, + everything was arranged--my cart and donkey engaged to be sold--and + the greater part of my things disposed of. However, young man, when + you did make it, I frankly tell you that I had half a mind to accept + it; at last, however, after very much consideration, I thought it best + to leave you for ever, because, for some time past, I had become + almost convinced, that though with a wonderful deal of learning, and + exceedingly shrewd in some things, you were--pray don't be offended--at + the root mad! and though mad people, I have been told sometimes make + very good husbands, I was unwilling that your friends, if you had any, + should say that Belle Berners, the workhouse girl, took advantage of + your infirmity; for there is no concealing that I was born and bred up + in a workhouse; notwithstanding that, my blood is better than your + own, and as good as the best; you having yourself told me that my name + is a noble name, and once, if I mistake not, that it was the same word + as baron, which is the same thing as bear; and that to be called in + old times a bear was considered a great compliment--the bear being a + mighty strong animal, on which account our forefathers called all + their great fighting-men barons, which is the same as bears. + + "However, setting matters of blood and family entirely aside, many + thanks to you, young man, from poor Belle, for the honour you did her + in making that same offer; for, after all, it is an honour to receive + an honourable offer, which she could see clearly yours was, with no + floriness nor chaff in it; but, on the contrary, entire sincerity. She + assures you that she shall always bear it and yourself in mind, + whether on land or water; and as a proof of the good-will she bears to + you, she sends you a lock of the hair which she wears on her head, + which you were often looking at, and were pleased to call flax, which + word she supposes you meant as a compliment, even as the old people + meant to pass a compliment to their great folks, when they called them + bears; though she cannot help thinking that they might have found an + animal as strong as a bear, and somewhat less uncouth, to call their + great folks after: even as she thinks yourself, amongst your great + store of words, might have found something a little more genteel to + call her hair after than flax, which, though strong and useful, is + rather a coarse and common kind of article. + + "And as another proof of the good-will she bears to you, she sends + you, along with the lock, a piece of advice, which is worth all the + hair in the world, to say nothing of the flax. + + "_Fear God_, and take your own part. There's Bible in that, young + man; see how Moses feared God, and how he took his own part against + everybody who meddled with him. And see how David feared God, and + took his own part against all the bloody enemies which surrounded + him--so fear God, young man, and never give in. The world can bully, + and is fond, provided it sees a man in a kind of difficulty, of + getting about him, calling him coarse names, and even going so far as + to hustle him; but the world, like all bullies, carries a white + feather in its tail, and no sooner sees the man taking off his coat, + and offering to fight his best, than it scatters here and there, and + is always civil to him afterwards. So when folks are disposed to ill- + treat you, young man, say 'Lord, have mercy upon me!' and then tip + them Long Melford, to which, as the saying goes, there is nothing + comparable for shortness all the world over; and these last words, + young man, are the last you will ever have from her who is + nevertheless, + + "Your affectionate female servant, + + "ISOPEL BERNERS." + +After reading the letter I sat for some time motionless, holding it in my +hand. {361} The day-dream in which I had been a little time before +indulging, of marrying Isopel Berners, of going with her to America, and +having by her a large progeny, who were to assist me in felling trees, +cultivating the soil, and who would take care of me when I was old, was +now thoroughly dispelled. Isopel had deserted me, and was gone to +America by herself, where, perhaps, she would marry some other person, +and would bear him a progeny, who would do for him what in my dream I had +hoped my progeny by her would do for me. Then the thought came into my +head that though she was gone I might follow her to America, but then I +thought that if I did I might not find her; America was a very large +place, and I did not know the port to which she was bound; but I could +follow her to the port from which she had sailed, and there possibly +discover the port to which she was bound; but then I did not even know +the port from which she had set out, for Isopel had not dated her letter +from any place. Suddenly it occurred to me that the post-mark on the +letter would tell me from whence it came, so I forthwith looked at the +back of the letter, and in the post-mark read the name of a well-known +and not very distant sea-port. I then knew with tolerable certainty the +port where she had embarked, and I almost determined to follow her, but I +almost instantly determined to do no such thing. Isopel Berners had +abandoned me, and I would not follow her; "perhaps," whispered Pride, "if +I overtook her, she would only despise me for running after her"; and it +also told me pretty roundly that, provided I ran after her, whether I +overtook her or not, I should heartily despise myself. So I determined +not to follow Isopel Berners; I took her lock of hair, and looked at it, +then put it in her letter, which I folded up and carefully stowed away, +resolved to keep both for ever, but I determined not to follow her. Two +or three times, however, during the day I wavered in my determination, +and was again and again almost tempted to follow her, but every +succeeding time the temptation was fainter. In the evening I left the +dingle, and sat down with Mr. Petulengro and his family by the door of +his tent. Mr. Petulengro soon began talking of the letter which I had +received in the morning. "Is it not from Miss Berners, brother?" said +he. I told him it was. "Is she coming back, brother?" "Never," said I; +"she is gone to America, and has deserted me." "I always knew that you +two were never destined for each other," said he. "How did you know +that?" I inquired. "The dook told me so, brother; you are born to be a +great traveller." "Well," said I, "if I had gone with her to America, as +I was thinking of doing, I should have been a great traveller." "You are +to travel in another direction, brother," said he. "I wish you would +tell me all about my future wanderings," said I. "I can't, brother," +said Mr. Petulengro, "there's a power of clouds before my eye." "You are +a poor seer, after all," said I, and getting up, I retired to my dingle +and my tent, where I betook myself to my bed, and there, knowing the +worst, and being no longer agitated by apprehension, nor agonised by +expectation, I was soon buried in a deep slumber, the first which I had +fallen into for several nights. + + + + +Footnotes: + + +{1} He was christened George Henry, but he dropped the Henry, as, Tobias +George Smollett dropped his George. + +{2} Dafydd ab Gwilym, "the greatest genius of the Cimbric race and one +of the first poets of the world." See _Wild Wales_, chap. lxxxvi., for a +very interesting account of this "Welsh Ovid." + +{5} Elsewhere he writes to John Murray: "What a contemptible trade is +the author's compared with that of the jockey!" + +{8} For a useful, if more commonplace and merely bibliographical study +of Sir Richard Phillipps, see W. E. A. Axon's _Stray Chapters_, 1888, p. +237. + +{12} This is no less true of Borrow's still earlier book _The Zincali_, +_An Account of the Gypsies of Spain_ (1841)--a book which every true +Borrovian will carefully assimilate, if only for these reasons: First, it +supplies a key to much of his later work, many of the greatest qualities +of which may here be found in embryo. Secondly, it contains some of the +finest descriptive passages in the English tongue, notably the account of +the Gitana of Seville. + +{20a} The beer he got was seldom to his taste; he called it "swipes," +but went on drinking glass after glass. What a figure he must have made +in the bar parlour of the Bald-faced Stag at Roehampton, with his tales +of Jerry Abershaw, Ambrose Gwinett, Thurtell and Wainewright! Mr. Watts- +Dunton says he had the gift of drinking deeply, but he adds "of the +waters of life," a refinement which Borrow himself might have deprecated. + +{20b} Henry Hall Dixon. + +{22} Of the marvellous facility with which some people learn languages +in the latter sense we have a good example cited by Alfred Russel +Wallace, in the case of a Flemish planter of Ceram, near Amboyna, named +Captain Van der Beck. "When quite a youth he had accompanied a +Government official who was sent to report on the trade and commerce of +the Mediterranean, and had acquired _the colloquial language of every +place they stayed a few weeks at_. He had afterwards made voyages to St. +Petersburg, and to other parts of Europe, including a few weeks in +London; and had then come out to the East, where he had been for some +years trading and speculating in the various islands. He now spoke +Dutch, French, Malay and Javanese, all equally well; English with a very +slight accent, but with perfect fluency, and a most complete knowledge of +idiom, in which I often tried to puzzle him in vain. German and Italian +were also quite familiar to him, and his acquaintance with European +languages included Modern Greek, Turkish, Russian and colloquial Hebrew +and Latin. As a test of his power, I may mention that he had made a +voyage to the out-of-the-way island of Salibaboo, and had stayed there +trading a few weeks. As I was collecting vocabularies, he told me he +thought he could remember some words, and dictated a considerable number. +Some time after I met with a short list of words taken down in those +islands, and in every case they agreed with those he had given me. He +used to sing a Hebrew drinking-song, which he had learned from some Jews +with whom he had once travelled and astonished by joining in their +conversation." {23} Borrow's colloquial gift was, to all appearance, +closely allied to that of this polyglot Fleming. + +{23} Wallace, _The Malay Archipelago_, 1890, p. 269. + +{25} Flunkeyism he called it, and thence deduced the pecuniary miseries +of Scott's later life. His depreciatory view was in part, too, I +believe, an echo from his favourite _Vidocq_. Speaking of the gipsies in +his chapter on "Les Careurs," Vidocq calls them a species characterised +and depicted with so little truth by the first romance-writer of our +time. But Borrow certainly had a far deeper reason for his dislike of +Scott. Under the specious pretence of deference for antiquity and +respect for primitive models, he imagined that Scott was sapping the +foundations of Protestantism. Newman from the opposite camp saw only the +beneficial effect of Scott's influence in turning men's minds in the +direction of the Middle Ages. (See his article in the _British Critic_ +for April 1839, and _Apologia_, chap. iii.). As for Wordsworth, Borrow +(with characteristic wrong-headedness) conceived him as an impostor. Had +_he_ made Nature his tent and the hard earth his bed with the stars for a +canopy? No; he walked out to sing of moorland, and fell from a "highly +eligible" cottage in the Lakes, where women-folk, at his beck and call, +bore the brunt of the "plain living." + +{27a} The "splendid old corsair," E. J. T., is best known perhaps as the +grim and grizzled pilot in Millais' great picture (now in the Tate) of +the North-west Passage. Trelawny and Borrow are linked together as men +whose mental powers were strong but whose bodily powers were still +stronger in the _Memoirs_ of Gordon Hake (who knew both of them well). +Another rival of Borrow in respect to the _Mens sana in corpore sano_ was +the famous Dr. Whewell, Master of Trinity. Mr. Murray tells a story of +his concern at a dinner-party upon a prospect of an altercation between +Borrow and Whewell. With both omniscience was a foible. Both were +powerful men; and both of them, if report were true, had more than a +superficial knowledge of the art of self-defence. + +{27b} As a matter of fact there was nothing in the least degree squalid +about Borrow's subjects or treatment. His tramps and vagabonds have +nothing about them that is repulsive. Borrow, it is true, was ready +enough to condone the offences of those who sought dupes among the well- +to-do public; but he preferred the honester members of the vagrant class; +and it is plain that they reciprocated the preference, for they regarded +the Romany Rye with an almost superstitious reverence on account of his +truth, honour bright and fair speech. Borrow had a passion for depicting +the class that Hurtado de Mendoza had first caught for literature in his +_Lazarillo_ (1553)--that, namely, of the old tricksters of the highway +who still retained many traits, noble and ignoble, from the primeval +savage. For the characteristically mean and squalid one must go up +higher in the scale of civilisation. + +{30} Of all the reviews of _Lavengro_, extraordinary as many now appear, +it was left for the month of July in the year of grace 1900 to produce +the most delightfully amazing. We subjoin it verbatim from the _Catholic +Times_ of July 27th, 1900. + +"LAVENGRO: THE SCHOLAR, THE GYPSY, THE PRIEST. By George Burrow. With +an introduction by Theodore Watts-Dunton. (London: Ward, Lock, and Co., +Ltd.) 2s. + +"We suppose the publishers find that this sort of literary rubbish, +suffused with antediluvian bigotry of the most benighted character, pays: +otherwise, no doubt, they would not have issued it as a volume of their +'New Minerva Library.' It consists of a twaddling introduction by Mr. +Theodore Watts-Dunton, who tells us he has been 'brought into personal +relations with many men of genius,' and so on _ad nauseam_, and of a sort +of novel by Mr. Burrow, in a palpable imitation of the style of De Foe +without a spark of De Foe's ability. The only thing for which this Mr. +Burrow is distinguished is his crass anti-Catholic bigotry; and the terms +in which, in one part of the book at least, he refers to the Blessed +Virgin are an outrage not merely on the religious feelings of Catholics, +but also on ordinary propriety. Catholics, unless they deserve to be +treated scornfully, will take note of the fact that such a work as this +has been issued by Messrs. Ward and Lock." To get an idea of the _semper +eadem_ of Catholic criticism, the reader should compare with the above +the _Dublin Review_ for May 1843, in which the author of the _Bible in +Spain_ is described as "a missionary sent out by a gang of conspirators +against Christianity who denominate themselves the Bible Society." + +{37} The popularity of _Lavengro_ has been rapidly on the increase +during the past ten years, if we may judge by the number of editions. It +was printed in the Minerva series in 1889, and reprinted 1900. A version +of large portions of the work by Duclos appeared in 1892. Macmillans +published an edition in 1896, Newnes in 1897. It was included in the +"Oxford Library," 1898. An illustrated edition, an edition produced +under the supervision of Dr. Knapp, a miniature edition of Dent's, and +the reprint of the Minerva edition, already referred to, appeared in +1900, apart from booksellers' reprints such as those of Denny and Mudie. + +{38} Dr. Jessopp in _Daily Chronicle_. April 30th, 1900. + +{39a} Borrow is said to have expressed a desire to meet but three +sentient beings: Dan O'Connell, Lamplighter (a racehorse), and Anna +Gurney. He was introduced into the presence of the last-mentioned at +Sheringham, but so far below the vision was the reality (as must appear) +that he turned and ran without stopping till he came to the Old Tucker's +Inn at Cromer (East Anglian tradition). + +{39b} Mary Clarke, widow, daughter of Edmund Skepper, was wedded to +Borrow on April 23rd, 1840. Her daughter, Henrietta, is still living at +a great age at Yarmouth. Borrow gives a characteristic account of these +two ladies in the first chapter of _Wild Wales_. "Of my wife I will +merely say that she is a perfect paragon of wives--can make puddings and +sweets and treacle posset, and is the best woman of business in East +Anglia: of my step-daughter, for such she is though I generally call her +daughter, and with good reason seeing that she has always shown herself a +daughter to me, that she has all kinds of good qualities and several +accomplishments, knowing something of conchology, more of botany, drawing +capitally in the Dutch style, and playing remarkably well on the +guitar--not the trumpery German thing so-called, but the real Spanish +guitar." Borrow's mother had died in August 1858. + +{40} This was written in December 1900. + +{43} There remains only the _Appendix_. A delightful resume of +grievances brooded over in solitude, cruelly stigmatised by Professor +Knapp as "certain posterior interpolations." The ground base of the +theme is the wickedness of popery; and when argument gives out Borrow is +ready with all the boyish inconsequence of a Charles Kingsley to throw up +his cap and shout 'Go it, our side!' 'Down with the Pope!' + +{49} Borrow's personal appearance, as we know from the later portrait by +his most intimate friend, Dr. Thomas Gordon Hake, must have been +sufficiently striking at any period of his life. "His figure was tall +and his bearing very noble. He had a finely moulded head and thick white +hair--white from his youth; his brown eyes were soft, yet piercing; his +mouth had a generous curve--his nose was somewhat of the Semitic type, +which gave his face the cast of a young Memnon." This is confirmed by +the assurance in _Lavengro_ that a famous heroic painter was extremely +anxious to secure Don Jorge as a model for the face and figure of +Pharaoh! + +{52} "I am not cunning. If people think I am it is because, being made +up of art themselves, simplicity of character is a puzzle to +them."--_Romany Rye_, chap. xi. + +{61} _Gypsy lad_. + +{62} _Blacksmith_. + +{63a} _Tell fortunes_. + +{63b} Hill Tower: _i.e_. Norwich. + +{63c} _Farewell_. + +{64} _Blacksmith_. + +{65a} _Smith_. + +{65b} The "Wayland Smith" referred to in _Kenilworth_. + +{67a} _Horse_. + +{67b} _Horseshoe_. + +{67c} _Striking_. + +{69a} _Horse_. + +{69b} _Knife_. + +{69c} _Hoof_. + +{69d} _Horseshoe nail_. + +{69e} _Great file_. + +{69f} _Tool box_. + +{71} _Poison_. + +{82} _Gipsy chap_. + +{84a} _Going to the village one day_. + +{84b} _Road my gypsy lass_. + +{86} Mort, _i.e_., woman, concubine, a cant term. + +{87} _Again_. + +{90a} _Old man_. + +{90b} _Wretch_, _hussy_. + +{91} An old word for knife, used by Urquhart and also by Burns. + +{93a} _Carcase_. + +{93b} _Knife_. + +{94a} _Donkey_. + +{94b} _Lad_. + +{106} The main characters in _Lavengro_ are three: the scholar (Borrow +himself), the gypsy (Mr. Petulengro), and the priest, or popish +propagandist. This last is the man in black. The word-master has in the +course of his travels heard a good deal about this man, and he is able to +identify him almost at once by his predilection for gin and water, cold, +with a lump of sugar in it. He hears of him first from his London +friend, Francis Ardry, then from an Armenian merchant whom he met in +London, and then again from a brother-author, who describes a silly and +intrusive Anglican parson, called Platitude, as a puppet in the hands of +"the man in black." The latter he characterises as a sharking priest, +who has come over from Italy to proselytize and plunder; he has "some +powers of conversation and some learning, but he carries the countenance +of an arch-villain; Platitude is evidently his tool." + +{107} When Borrow (Lavengro, that is), was in London, his friend Francis +Ardry warned him against a certain papistical propagandist: "A strange +fellow--a half Italian, half English priest . . . he is fond of a glass +of gin and water--and over a glass of gin and water cold, with a lump of +sugar in it, he has been more communicative, perhaps, than was altogether +prudent. Were I my own master, I would kick him, politics and religious +movements, to a considerable distance." + +{110} During his travels after his abandonment of Grub Street, +"Lavengro" frequently came upon the traces of the man in black. While +sojourning for one night with a hospitable though superstitious +acquaintance, whom he met after leaving Salisbury, "Lavengro" heard the +story of the Rev. Mr. Platitude, a sacerdotalist of weak intellects who +had been cajoled from his lawful allegiance to the "good, quiet Church of +England," by the wiles of a sharking priest come over from Italy to +proselytize and to plunder. From what he then heard of the sharking +priest, by putting two and two together, Lavengro was now able to +identify him with the "man in black." Subsequently he heard of the +efforts of the same clever dialectician to overcome the Methodist +preacher Peter Williams--efforts which collapsed upon the appearance of +the preacher's wife Winifred. "Wife, wife," muttered the disconcerted +priest, "if the fool has a wife he will never do for us." In the course +of his wanderings this nineteenth-century S. Augustine often gave himself +out to be a teacher of elocution. + +{117} The man in black was completely mystified by the knowledge of his +own past life which this remark revealed (see Chap. IX. _infra_.). There +were, as have been seen, a variety of threads connecting the man in black +with definite scenes in the memory of Lavengro, though the latter did not +happen to have seen the "prowling priest" in the flesh before this +occasion. While in London Lavengro frequently met a certain Armenian +merchant, who much resented the pretensions of the Roman Papa: that he, +the Papa, had more to say in heaven than the Armenian patriarch, and that +the hillocks of Rome were higher than the ridges of Ararat. "The Papa of +Rome," said the Armenian to Lavengro, "has at present many emissaries in +this country, in order to seduce the people from their own quiet religion +to the savage heresy of Rome; this fellow" (describing the man in black) +"came to me partly in the hope of converting me, but principally to +extort money for the purpose of furthering the designs of Rome in this +country. I humoured the fellow at first, keeping him in play for nearly +a month, deceiving and laughing at him. At last he discovered that he +could make nothing of me, and departed with the scowl of Caiaphas, whilst +I cried after him, 'The roots of Ararat are _deeper_ than those of +Rome.'" + +This same Armenian subsequently offered Lavengro a desk in his office +opposite his deaf Moldavian clerk, having surmised that he would make an +excellent merchant because he squinted like a true Armenian. Unhappily +for the Flaming Tinman and for Isopel Berners, the word-master refused +this singular offer. + +{118} A passado at Belle's avowed weakness for that beverage. + +{125a} _A strange listens_. + +{125b} _Up yonder_. + +{153} The Catholic controversy was just at its height in 1825, and the +Catholic Emancipation Bill received the Royal Assent in April 1829. + +{156} The doctrine of economy in a nutshell. + +{159} For Borrow's final verdict on Sir Walter Scott, it is only fair to +cite his _Romano Lavo-Lil_, a book on the English Gypsy Language, +corresponding to his book on the _Zincali_ or Spanish Gypsies, but +published more than forty years later, namely in 1874. Here he relates +how he once trudged to Dryburgh "to pay my respects at the tomb of Sir +Walter Scott, a man with whose principles I have no sympathy, but for +whose genius I have always entertained the most intense admiration." + +{218} The story of Mumbo Jumbo and the English servant in Rome is that +narrated at great length by the postillion in the last chapter of +_Lavengro_. + +{227} See the third Appendix to _Romany Rye_ on this subject of "Foreign +Nonsense." For Wolseley's perversion see _Dict. Nat. Biog_., lxii., p. +323. + +{230} A blasphemous work by Albizzi. French version printed, Geneva, +1556. + +{237} His deeds were not those of lions, but of foxes. + +{238a} "Archibald Arbuthnot: Life, Adventures, and Vicissitudes of Simon +[Fraser] Lord Lovat." London, 1746, 12mo. + +{238b} For later news of the red-haired Jack-priest and his dupe, Parson +Platitude, see _Romany Rye_, chap. xxvii. + +{242} Plenty of gypsy lads; chals and chies, lads and lasses. + +{244a} _Modest_. + +{244b} _Gentlemen and ladies_. + +{244c} Drop it. + +{247} The Petulengres, a wandering clan of gypsies, led by Jasper +Petulengro and his wife Pakomovna are introduced to us in _Lavengro_ +(chaps, v. and liv.). The etymology is thus explained by Borrow. +"Petulengro: A compound of the modern Greek [Greek text] and the Sanscrit +_kara_; the literal meaning being lord of the horse-shoe (_i.e_. maker), +it is one of the private cognominations of 'the Smiths,' an English gypsy +clan." Engro is apparently akin to the English suffix monger, and with +it may be compared the Anglo-Saxon suffix smith, in such words as lore- +smith or war-smith (warrior). Thus we have sapengro, lavengro, and +sherengro, head man. Of the gypsy tribes in England, Borrow in his +_Zincali_ (ed. 1846, Introd.) has the following: "The principal gypsy +tribes at present in existence are the Stanleys, whose grand haunt is the +New Forest; the Lovells, who are fond of London and its vicinity: the +Coopers, who call Windsor Castle their home; the Hernes, to whom the +north country, more especially Yorkshire, belongeth; and lastly my +brethren the Smiths, to whom East Anglia appears to have been allotted +from the beginning. All these families have gypsy names, which seem, +however, to be little more than attempts at translation of the English +ones. Thus the Stanleys are called Bar-engres, which means stony +fellows, the Coopers, Wardo-engres or wheelwrights, the Lovells, Camo- +mescres, or amorous fellows, the Hernes (German Haaren), Balors, hairs, +or hairy fellows, while the Smiths are called Petulengres, that is, +horseshoe-fellows, or blacksmiths. Besides the above-named gypsy clans, +there are other smaller ones, some of which do not comprise more than a +dozen individuals, children included. For example, the Bosviles, the +Browns, the Chilcotts, the Grays, Lees, Taylors and Whites; of these the +principal is the Bosvile tribe." + +{249a} There's a witch and a wizard and their name is Petulengro. + +{249b} _Tent_. + +{256} This refers to a notorious match between a lion and six mastiffs, +arranged by George Wombwell at Warwick, in July 1825. The fight was that +between George Cooper and Ned Baldwin, 5 July, 1825. + +{257} Peel's Metropolitan Police, constituted 1829. + +{265} Said the gypsy lass to her mother-- +'My dear mother, I am with child.' +'And what kind of a man made you with child, +My own daughter, my gypsy lass?' + +'O my mother, a great gentleman, +A rich gentleman, a stranger to our race, +Who rides upon a fine stallion, +'Twas he that made me thus with child.' + +'Vile little harlot that you are, +Be off, good-bye, you leave my tent! +Had a Romany lad got thee with child, +Then I had said to thee, poor lass! +But thou art just a vile harlot +By a stranger man to be with child.' + +{266} _Pig-poisoning_. + +{269a} _Honeycomb_. + +{269b} _Tell their fortunes_. + +{272} _King_. + +{274} See Introduction, p. 10. + +{275} The church of Willenhall, Staffordshire, near Mumpers' Dingle, is, +perhaps, intended. The hymn was originally Cennick's, but the verse in +question Charles Wesley's. The old tune Helmsley (not St. Thomas) was a +favourite of Queen Victoria. + +{277} Chieftain. + +{286} Dukkerin, fortune-telling: duk or dook, ghost. + +{288} See Introduction, p. 9. + +{289} The Shakespearean meaning was hysterical passion. See _Lear_, +II., iv. 52: + + "O, how this mother swells up toward my heart!" + +The word remained fairly common during the seventeenth century. Mary +Rich, Countess of Warwick, in her Diary (1667) speaks of herself as +suffering from "a fit of the spleen and mother together." + +{290} _Stranger men_. + +{291} Ursula is evidently intended by Borrow to typify the gypsy chi. +And the key to the type is supplied in the _Gypsies in Spain_ (see +especially chap. vii.). The gypsies, says Borrow, arc almost entirely +ignorant of the grand points of morality; but on one point they are in +general wiser than those who have had far better opportunities than such +unfortunate outcasts of regulating their steps and distinguishing good +from evil. They know that chastity is a jewel of high price, and that +conjugal fidelity is capable of occasionally flinging a sunshine even +over the dreary hours of a life passed in the contempt of almost all +laws, whether human or divine. There is a word in the gypsy language to +which those who speak it attach ideas of peculiar reverence, far superior +to that connected with the name of the Supreme Being, the creator of +themselves and the universe. This word is _Lacha_, which with them is +the corporeal chastity of the females; we say corporeal chastity, for no +other do they hold in the slightest esteem; it is lawful among them, nay +praiseworthy, to be obscene in look, gesture and discourse, to be +accessories to vice, and to stand by and laugh at the worst abominations +of the Busne (gorgios, or gentiles) provided their _Lacha ye trupos_, or +corporeal chastity, remains unblemished. The gypsy child, from her +earliest years, is told by her strange mother that a good Calli need only +dread one thing in this world, and that is the loss of her _Lacha_, in +comparison with which that of life is of little consequence, as in such +an event she will be provided for, but what provision is there for a +gypsy who has lost her _Lacha_. "Bear this in mind, my child," she will +say, "and now eat this bread and go forth and see what you can steal." +The Romany, in a word, is the sect of the Husbands (and Wives) and their +first precept is this: Be faithful to the _Roms_ (husbands) and take not +up with the gorgios, whether they be raior (gentlemen) or baior +(fellows). + +{293} _Godly book_. + +{295a} Chore, to steal. + +{295b} Hokkawar, to cheat. + +{295c} Lubbeny, the whore. + +{296} _God_. + +{298} Choomer, a kiss. + +{299a} _Uncle_. + +{299b} _Father_. + +{301} Batu, father; coko, uncle. + +{302a} _Law_. + +{302b} _With child_. + +{303} Tan, tent. + +{305} _Tent_. + +{306} Old Fulcher was an amateur in the meanest kinds of petty larceny +whose deplorable end is described in chapter xli. of the _Romany Rye_. + +{307} The boxer who lost the fight near the Castle Hill (Norwich). + +{312} Poknees, magistrate. + +{318} _Steal_. + +{326} See Introduction, p. 9. This is the book the MS. of which +Lavengro sold for 20 pounds, and upon the proceeds of which he started +upon the ramble which led him to the dingle. The _Life of Joseph Sell_ +is not known to Bibliography; but the incident is nevertheless probably +drawn from Borrow's own career. + +{330} "Good." + +{337} The next time the compassionate word-master visited the landlord, +he found him a 'down pin' no longer, but the centre of an adulatory +crowd. The way in which he surmounted the sea of troubles that beset him +is described with much humour in _The Romany Rye_ (chap. xvii). The main +factors in his relief were (1) Strong ale, taken by the advice of +Lavengro, which leads to Catchpole knocking down the radical, Hunter, and +winning back the admiration of the tap-room, (2) a loan from the parson +of Willenhall, who wished to save a muscular fellow-Protestant from the +clutches of the man in black. The brewer now became very civil, a coach +was appointed to stop at the inn, and, in short, Catchpole is left by +Lavengro riding upon the summit of the wave of popularity and good +fortune. + +{343} Jacobus Villotte, his _Dictionarium Latino-Armenium_, Rome, 1714. + +{348} And this, alas! is the last glimpse we are to have of Isopel +Berners, a heroine whose like we shall scarce encounter again in the +whole wide world of romance. Charles Kingsley says of her, indeed, that +she is far too good not to be true. The likeness is undoubtedly a +masterpiece, yet, though Borrow has drawn the outline firmly, he leaves +much for the imagination to fill in. Languid indeed must be the +imagination that can fail to be stimulated by Borrow's outline of his +Brynhilda. Cast in the mould of Britannia, queen, however, not of the +waves but of the woodland, poor yet noble, and innocent of every mean +ambition of gentility, faithful, valiant, and proud,--as she stands pale +and commanding, in the sunshine at the dingle's mouth, in all her +virginal dignity, is she not a figure worthy to rank with the queens of +Beauty and Romance, with Dido "with a willow in her hand," with the +deeply-loving Rebecca as with a calm and tender dignity she bids for ever +adieu to the land of Wilfred of Ivanhoe? + +{361} After the receipt of this letter three nights elapsed, and then +the word-master himself left the dingle for the last time. The third +night he spent alone in his encampment "in a very melancholy manner, with +little or no sleep, thinking of Isopel Berners; and in the morning when I +quitted the place, I shed several tears, as I reflected that I should +probably never again see the spot where I had passed so many hours in her +company." + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ISOPEL BERNERS*** + + +******* This file should be named 18400.txt or 18400.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/8/4/0/18400 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://www.gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: +http://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + |