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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, History of English Humour, Vol. 1 (of 2), by
+Alfred Guy Kingan L'Estrange
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: History of English Humour, Vol. 1 (of 2)
+       With an Introduction upon Ancient Humour
+
+
+Author: Alfred Guy Kingan L'Estrange
+
+
+
+Release Date: May 2, 2006  [eBook #18300]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF ENGLISH HUMOUR, VOL. 1
+(OF 2)***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Barbara Tozier, Janet Blenkinship, Bill Tozier, and the
+Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+(http://www.pgdp.net/)
+
+
+
+HISTORY OF ENGLISH HUMOUR
+
+With an Introduction upon Ancient Humour.
+
+by
+
+THE REV. A. G. L'ESTRANGE,
+
+Author of
+"The Life of the Rev. William Harness,"
+"From the Thames to the Tamar,"
+Etc.
+
+In Two Volumes.
+
+Vol. I.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+London:
+Hurst and Blackett, Publishers,
+13, Great Marlborough Street.
+1878.
+All rights reserved.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
+
+
+  PRELIMINARY OBSERVATIONS.
+
+  Subjective Character of the Ludicrous--The Subject little
+  Studied--Obstacles to the Investigation--Evanescence--Mental
+  Character of the Ludicrous--Distinction between
+  Humour and the Ludicrous                                                1
+
+
+  INTRODUCTION.
+
+  PART I.
+
+  ORIGIN OF HUMOUR.
+
+  Pleasure in Humour--What is Laughter?--Sympathy--First
+  Phases--Gradual Development--Emotional Phase--Laughter
+  of Pleasure--Hostile Laughter--Is there any sense of the Ludicrous
+  in the Lower Animals?--Samson--David--Solomon--Proverbs--Fables        13
+
+  PART II.
+
+  GREEK HUMOUR.
+
+  Birth of Humour--Personalities--Story of Hippocleides--Origin
+  of Comedy--Archilochus--Hipponax--Democritus,
+  the Laughing Philosopher--Aristophanes--Humour
+  of the Senses--Indelicacy--Enfeeblement of the Drama--Humorous
+  Games--Parasites, their Position and Jests--Philoxenus--Diogenes--Court
+  of Humour--Riddles--Silli                                              52
+
+
+  PART III.
+
+  ROMAN HUMOUR.
+
+  Roman Comedy--Plautus--Acerbity--Terence--Satire--Lucilius--Horace
+  --Humour of the Cæsar Family--Cicero--Augustus--Persius--Petronius
+  --Juvenal--Martial--Epigrammatist--Lucian--Apuleius--Julian
+  the Apostate--The Misopogon--Symposius' Enigmas--Macrobius--Hierocles
+  and Philagrius                                                         99
+
+
+  ENGLISH HUMOUR.
+
+  CHAPTER I.
+
+  MIDDLE AGES.
+
+  Relapse of Civilization in the Middle Ages--Stagnation of
+  Mind--Scarcity of Books--Character of reviving Literature--Religious
+  Writings--Fantastic Legends--Influence
+  of the Crusades--Romances--Sir Bevis of Hamptoun--Prominence
+  of the Lower Animals--Allegories                                      161
+
+  CHAPTER II.
+
+  Anglo-Saxon Humour--Rhyme--Satires against the Church--The
+  Brunellus--Walter Mapes--Goliardi--Piers the
+  Ploughman--Letters of Obscure Men--Erasmus--The
+  Praise of Folly--Skelton--The Ship of Fools--Doctour
+  Doubble Ale--The Sak full of Nuez--Church Ornamentation--Representations
+  of the Devil                                                          179
+
+  CHAPTER III.
+
+  Origin of Modern Comedy--Ecclesiastical Buffoonery--Jougleurs
+  and Minstrels--Court Fools--Monks' Stories--The
+  "Tournament of Tottenham"--Chaucer--Heywood--Roister
+  Doister--Gammer Gurton                                                211
+
+  CHAPTER IV.
+
+  Robert Greene--Friar Bacon's Demons--The "Looking
+  Glasse"--Nash and Harvey                                              231
+
+  CHAPTER V.
+
+  Donne--Hall--Fuller                                                   243
+
+  CHAPTER VI.
+
+  Shakespeare--Ben Jonson--Beaumont and Fletcher--The
+  Wise Men of Gotham                                                    250
+
+  CHAPTER VII.
+
+  Jesters--Court of Queen Elizabeth--James I.--The
+  "Counterblasts to Tobacco"--Puritans--Charles II.
+  --Rochester--Buckingham--Dryden--Butler                               271
+
+  CHAPTER VIII.
+
+  Comic Drama of the Restoration--Etheridge--Wycherley                  303
+
+  CHAPTER IX.
+
+  Tom Brown--His Prose Works--Poetry--Sir Richard
+  Blackmore--D'Urfey--Female Humorists--Carey                           312
+
+  CHAPTER X.
+
+  Vanbrugh--Colley Cibber--Farquhar                                     340
+
+  CHAPTER XI.
+
+  Congreve--Lord Dorset                                                 355
+
+
+
+
+HISTORY OF ENGLISH HUMOUR.
+
+
+
+
+PRELIMINARY OBSERVATIONS.
+
+Subjective Character of the Ludicrous--The Subject little
+  Studied--Obstacles to the Investigation--Evanescence--Mental Character
+  of the Ludicrous--Distinction between Humour and the Ludicrous.
+
+
+The ludicrous is in its character so elusive and protean, and the field
+over which it extends is so vast, that few have ever undertaken the task
+of examining it systematically. Many philosophers and literary men have
+made passing observations upon it, but most writers are content to set
+it down as one of those things which cannot be understood, and care not
+to study and grapple with a subject which promises small results in
+return for considerable toil. Moreover, the inquiry does not seem
+sufficiently important to warrant the expenditure of much time upon it,
+and there has always been a great tendency among learned men to
+underrate the emotional feelings of our nature. Thus it comes to pass
+that a much larger amount of our labour has been expended upon inquiring
+into physical and intellectual constitution than upon the inner workings
+of our passions and sentiments, for our knowledge of which, though
+affecting our daily conduct, we are mostly indebted to the
+representations of poets and novelists. Beattie well observes that
+nothing is below the attention of a philosopher which the Author of
+Nature has been pleased to establish. Investigations of this kind would
+not be unrewarded, nor devoid of a certain amount of interest; and I
+think that in the present subject we can, by perseverance, penetrate a
+little distance into an almost untrodden and apparently barren region,
+and if we cannot reach the source from whence the bright waters spring,
+can at least obtain some more accurate information about the surrounding
+country.
+
+Notwithstanding all the obstructions and discouragements in the way of
+this investigation a few great men have given it a certain amount of
+attention. Aristotle informs us in his "Rhetoric" that he has dealt
+fully with the subject in his Poetics, and although the treatise is
+unfortunately lost, some annotations remain which show that it was of a
+comprehensive character. Cicero and Quintilian in their instructions in
+Oratory, made the study of humour a necessary part of the course, and
+in modern days many ingenious definitions and descriptions of it are
+found among the pages of general literature. Most philosophers have
+touched the subject timidly and partially, unwilling to devote much time
+to it, and have rather stated what they thought ought to be in
+accordance with some pet theories of their own, than drawn deductions
+from careful analysis. They generally only looked at one phase of the
+ludicrous, at one kind of humour, and had not a sufficient number of
+examples before them--probably from the difficulty of recalling slight
+turns of thought in widely scattered subjects. Add to this, that many of
+them--constantly immersed in study--would have had some little
+difficulty in deciding what did and did not deserve the name of humour.
+Most of their definitions are far too wide, and often in supporting a
+theory they make remarks which tend to refute it. The imperfect
+treatment, which the subject had received, led Dugald Stewart to observe
+that it was far from being exhausted.
+
+The two principal publications which have appeared on humour, are
+Flögel's "Geschichte der Komischen Litteratur" (1786), and Léon Dumont's
+"Les Causes du Rire." The former is voluminous, but scarcely touches on
+philosophy, without which such a work can have but little coherence.
+The latter shows considerable psychological knowledge, but is written to
+support a somewhat narrow and incomplete view. Mr. Wright's excellent
+book on "The Grotesque in Literature and Art," is, as the name suggests,
+principally concerned with broad humour, and does not so much trace its
+source as the effects it has produced upon mankind. Mr. Cowden Clark's
+contributions on the subject to the "Gentleman's Magazine," are mostly
+interesting from their biographical notices.
+
+To analyse and classify all the vagaries of the human imagination which
+may be comprehended under the denomination of humour, is no easy task,
+and as it is multiform we may stray into devious paths in pursuing it.
+But vast and various as the subject seems to be, there cannot be much
+doubt that there are some laws which govern it, and that it can be
+brought approximately under certain heads. It seems to be as generally
+admitted that there are different kinds of humour as that some
+observations possess none at all. Moreover, when remarks of a certain
+kind are made, especially such as show confusion or exaggeration, we
+often seem to detect some conditions of humour, and by a little change
+are able to make something, which has more or less the character of a
+jest.
+
+There is in this investigation a very formidable "Dweller on the
+Threshold." We contend with great disadvantages in any attempts to
+examine our mental constitution. When we turn the mind in upon itself,
+and make it our object, the very act of earnest reflection obscures the
+idea, or destroys the emotion we desire to contemplate. This is
+especially the case in the present instance. The ludicrous, when we
+attempt to grasp it, shows off its gay and motley garb, and appears in
+grave attire. It is only by abstracting our mind from the inquiry, and
+throwing it into lighter considerations, that we can at all retain the
+illusion. A clever sally appears brilliant when it breaks suddenly upon
+the mental vision, but when it is brought forward for close examination
+it loses half its lustre, and seems to melt into unsubstantial air.
+Humour may be compared to a delicate scent, which we only perceive at
+the first moment, or to evanescent beauty--
+
+  "For every touch that wooed its stay
+   Has brushed its brightest hues away."
+
+This last simile is especially in point here, and the quotations in this
+book will scarcely be found humorous, so long as they are regarded as
+mere illustrations of the nature of humour.
+
+We need not--taking these matters into consideration--feel much
+surprised that some people say the ludicrous cannot be defined; as for
+instance, Buckingham,
+
+  "True wit is everlasting like the sun,
+   Describing all men, but described by none;"
+
+and Addison:--"It is much easier to decide what is not humorous than
+what is, and very difficult to define it otherwise than Cowley has done,
+by negatives"--the only meaning of which is that the subject is
+surrounded with rather more than the usual difficulties attending moral
+and psychological researches. Similar obstacles would be encountered in
+answering the question, "What is poetry?" or "What is love?" We can only
+say that even here there must be some surroundings by which we can
+increase our knowledge.
+
+Humour is the offspring of man--it comes forth like Minerva fully armed
+from the brain. Our sense of the ludicrous is produced by our peculiar
+mental constitution, and not by external objects, in which there is
+nothing either absurd or serious. As when the action of our mind is
+imperceptible--for instance, in hearing and seeing with our "bodily"
+senses--we think what we notice is something in the external world,
+although it is only so far dependent upon it that it could not exist
+without some kind of outer influence, so the result of our not
+recognising the amusing action of the mind in the ludicrous is that we
+regard it as a quality resident in the persons and things we
+contemplate.[1] But it does not belong to these things, and is totally
+different from them in kind. Thus, the rose is formed of certain
+combinations of earth, air, and water; yet none of these dull elements
+possess the fragrance or beauty of the flower. These properties come
+from some attractive and constructive power. Not only are there no types
+or patterns in things of our emotions, but there are none even of our
+sensations; heat and cold, red or blue, are such only for our
+constitution. This truth is beautifully set forth by Addison in a
+passage in which, as Dugald Stewart justly remarks, "We are at a loss
+whether most to admire the author's depth and refinement of thought, or
+the singular felicity of fancy displayed in its illustration." "Things,"
+he observes, "would make but a poor appearance to the eye, if we saw
+them only in their proper figures and motions. And what reason can we
+assign for their exciting in us many of those ideas which are different
+from anything that exists in the objects themselves (for such are light
+and colours) were it not to add supernumerary ornaments to the universe,
+and make it more agreeable to the imagination? We are everywhere
+entertained with pleasing shows and apparitions. We discover imaginary
+glories in the heavens and on the earth, and see some of this visionary
+beauty poured out over the whole creation. But what a rough, unsightly
+sketch of Nature should we be entertained with, did all her colouring
+disappear, and the several distinctions of light and shade vanish! In
+short, our souls are delightfully lost and bewildered in a pleasing
+delusion, and we walk about like the enchanted hero of a romance, who
+sees beautiful castles, woods, and meadows, and at the same time hears
+the warbling of birds and the purling of streams; but upon the finishing
+of some secret spell, the fantastic scene breaks up, and the
+disconsolate knight finds himself on a barren heath, or in a solitary
+desert."
+
+I have introduced these considerations, because it is very difficult for
+us to realize that what we behold is merely phenomenal, that
+
+     "Things are not what they seem;"
+
+but that we are looking into the mirror of Nature at our own likeness.
+When we speak of a ludicrous occurrence, we cannot avoid thinking that
+the external events themselves contain something of that character.
+Thus, the ludicrous has come in our ideas and language to be separated
+from the sense in which alone it exists, and it is desirable that we
+should clearly understand that the distinction is only logical and not
+real.
+
+When the cause of our laughter--be it mind, matter, or imaginary
+circumstance--is merely regarded as something incongruous and amusing,
+we name it the ludicrous, and a man is called ludicrous as faulty or
+contemptible. But when the cause of it is viewed as something more than
+this, as coming from some conscious power or tendency within us--a
+valuable gift and an element in our mental constitution--we call it
+humour, a term applied only to human beings and their productions; and a
+man is called humorous as worthy of commendation. Both are in truth
+feelings--we might say one feeling--and although we can conceive humour
+to exist apart from the ludicrous, and to be a power within us creating
+it, there is a difficulty in following out the distinction. The
+difference between them is in our regard.
+
+As soon as in course of time it became plainly evident that gay
+creations might emanate from man, and not only from the outer world, the
+fact was marked by the formation of a distinctive name, and by degrees
+several names--among which the most comprehensive in English is Humour.
+This kind of gift became gradually known as more or less possessed by
+all, and when the operations of the mind came to be recognised, we were
+more enlightened on the subject, and acknowledged it to be a mental and
+creative power. Such admissions would not be made by men in general
+without some very strong evidence, and therefore a humorous man was not
+merely one who had an internal sense of the ludicrous, but one who
+employed it for the delectation of others. Hence, also, though there is
+no consciousness of being amusing in the man who is ludicrous, there is
+in one that is humorous. A wit must always be pleasant intentionally. A
+man who in sober seriousness recounts something which makes us laugh is
+not humorous, although his want of discrimination may not be sufficient
+to make him ludicrous. Children are not regarded as humorous, for,
+although they enjoy such simple humour as toys afford, they very seldom
+notice what is merely ludicrous, and do not reproduce it in any way; and
+the same may be said of many grown persons, who require to be fed as it
+were, and although they can enjoy what is embellished by others, have no
+original observation. Thus, although Herbert Mayo is substantially
+correct in saying that "humour is the sentiment of the ludicrous," he
+might have added that there is a difference between the two in our
+knowledge of them. In the former, the creative mind is more marked, and,
+a man though he laughs much, if he be dull in words is only considered
+to have mirth, _i.e._, joyousness or a sense of the ludicrous, not
+humour. The gift can only be brought prominently forward in speech or
+writing, and thus humour comes to be often regarded as a kind of
+ingredient or seasoning in a speech or book, if not actually synonymous
+with certain sentences or expressions. Still we always confine the name
+to human productions, as, for instance, gestures, sayings, writings,
+pictures, and plays.
+
+The recognition of the mental character of humour did not necessarily
+imply any knowledge as to the authority, instability, or constancy of
+the feeling--that could only be acquired by philosophical investigation.
+Nor have we yet so far ascertained its character as to be able to form
+humorous fancies upon any fixed principle. We are guided by some sense
+of the ludicrous which we cannot analyse; or we introduce into new and
+similar cases relationships in things which we have observed to be
+amusing. Some forms are so general that they will produce a vast number
+of jests, and we thus seem to have some insight into the influences that
+awaken humour, but we see only approximately and superficially, and can
+merely produce good results occasionally--rather by an accident than
+with any certainty.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+PART I.
+
+ORIGIN OF HUMOUR.
+
+Pleasure in Humour--What is Laughter?--Sympathy--First Phases--Gradual
+  Development--Emotional Phase--Laughter of Pleasure--Hostile
+  Laughter--Is there any sense of the Ludicrous in the Lower
+  Animals?--Samson--David--Solomon--Proverbs--Fables.
+
+
+Few of the blessings we enjoy are of greater value than the gift of
+humour. The pleasure attendant upon it attracts us together, forms an
+incentive, and gives a charm to social intercourse, and, unlike the
+concentrating power of love, scatters bright rays in every direction.
+That humour is generally associated with enjoyment might be concluded
+from the fact that the genial and good-natured are generally the most
+mirthful, and we all have so much personal experience of the
+gratification it affords, that it seems superfluous to adduce any proofs
+upon the subject. "Glad" is from the Greek word for laughter, and the
+word "jocund" comes from a Latin term signifying "pleasant." But we can
+trace the results of this connection in our daily observation. How comes
+it to pass that many a man who is the life and soul of social
+gatherings, and keeps his friends in delighted applause, sits, when
+alone in his study, grave and sedate, and seldom, if ever, smiles in
+reading or meditation? Is it not because humour is a source of pleasure?
+We are not joyously disposed when alone, whereas in society we are ready
+to give and receive whatever is bright and cheering.
+
+The first question which now presents itself is what is laughter? and
+our answer must be that it is a change of countenance accompanied by a
+spasmodic intermittent sound--a modification of the voice--but that we
+cannot trace its physical origin farther than to attribute it to some
+effect produced upon the sympathetic nerve, or rather the system of
+nerves termed respiratory. These communicate with every organ affected
+in mirth, but the ultimate connection between mind and body is hidden
+from our view.
+
+In all laughter there is more or less pleasure, except in that of
+hysteria, when by a sudden shock the course of Nature is reversed, and
+excessive grief will produce the signs of joy, as extravagant delight
+will sometimes exhibit those of sorrow. We should also exclude the
+laughter caused by inhalation of gas, and that of maniacs, which arising
+from some strange and unaccountable feeling is abnormal and imperfect,
+and known by a hollow sound peculiar to itself. None of these kinds of
+laughter are primary, they are but imperfect reflections of our usual
+modes of expression, and, excepting such cases, we may agree that M.
+Paffe is correct in observing that "Joy is an indispensable condition of
+laughter." Dr. Darwin refers to the laughter of idiots to prove that it
+may be occasioned by pleasure alone. Strangely enough, he quotes as an
+instance in point the fact of an idiot boy having laughed at receiving a
+black eye.
+
+Proceeding onwards, we next come to inquire why the sense of humour is
+expressed by voice and countenance, and does not merely afford a silent
+and secret delight? The answer may be given, that one object, at least,
+is to increase social communication and multiply pleasure. The
+well-being of the animal world largely depends upon the power of each
+member of it to communicate with others of the same species. They all do
+so by sound and gesture, probably to a larger extent than we generally
+imagine. A celebrated physician lately observed to me that "all animals
+have some language." How far mere signs deserve so high a name may be
+questioned. But man has great powers of intercourse, and it is much
+owing to his superior faculties in this respect that he holds his place
+so high above the rest of creation. Orators, who make it their study to
+be impressive, give full importance to every kind of expression, and say
+that a man should be able to make his meaning understood, even when his
+voice is inaudible. It has been lately discovered that the mere movement
+of the lips alone, without sound, is sufficient to convey
+information.[2] Facial expression has been given us as a means of
+assisting communication, and smiles and laughter have become the
+distinctive manifestations of humour. Thus the electric spark passes
+from one to another, and the flashing eye and wreathed lip lights up the
+world. Profit also accrues--fear of being laughed at leads us to avoid
+numerous small errors, and by laughing at others we are enabled to
+detect shortcomings in ourselves.
+
+Sympathetic laughter does not arise from any contemplation of ludicrous
+circumstances, but is only a sort of reflection of the feelings of
+others. There seems to be little intelligence in it, but something
+almost physical, just as yawning is infectious, or as on seeing a person
+wounded in a limb we instinctively shrink ourselves in the same part of
+the body. Even a picture of a man laughing will have some effect upon
+us, and so have those songs in which exuberant mirth is imitated. Thus
+we often laugh without feeling just cause, as we often feel cause
+without laughing. All exhibitions of emotion are infectious. We feel sad
+at seeing a man in grief, although the source of his sorrow is unknown
+to us; and we are inclined to be joyous when surrounded by the votaries
+of mirth. Not unfrequently we find a number of persons laughing, when
+the greater part of them have no idea what is the cause of the
+merriment. Sometimes we cannot entirely resist the impulse, even when we
+ourselves are the object of it, so much are we inclined to enter into
+the feelings and views of those who surround us. In this, as well as in
+many other cases, the sight and proximity of others exercise over us a
+great influence, and sometimes almost a fascination.
+
+To this sympathy we are largely indebted for the diffusion of high
+spirits. It is pleasant to laugh and see others laughing, and thus the
+one leads to the other. "Laugh and be fat," is a proverb, and it has
+been well observed that "we like those who make us laugh," because they
+give us pleasure. We may add that we like to see others joyous, because
+we feel that we are surrounded by kindly natures. A gallant writer tells
+us that he hopes to be rewarded for his labours in the field of
+literature by "the sweetest of all sounds in nature--the laughter of
+fair women." Macready, speaking of this influence, says:
+
+"The words of Milman would have applied well to Mrs. Jordan, 'Oh, the
+words laughed on her lips!' Mrs. Nesbitt, the charming actress of a late
+day, had a fascinating power in the sweetly-ringing notes of her hearty
+mirth; but Mrs. Jordan's laugh was so rich, so apparently irrepressible,
+so deliciously self-enjoying, as to be at all times irresistible."
+
+The agreeable influence of smiles is so well known that many are tempted
+to counterfeit them, and assume an expression in which the eye and lip
+are in unhappy conflict.[3] On the other hand, painful thoughts are
+inimical to mirth. No sally of humour will brighten the countenance of a
+man who has lately suffered a severe loss, and even mental reflection
+will extinguish every sparkle. But the bed of sickness can often be
+better cheered by some gay efflorescence, some happy turn of thought,
+than by expressions of condolence. Galen says that Æsculapius wrote
+comic songs to promote circulation in his patients; and Hippocrates
+tells us that "a physician should have a certain ready humour, for
+austerity is repulsive both to well and ill." The late Sir Charles Clark
+recognised this so far that one of his patients told me that his visits
+were like a bottle of Champagne; and Sir John Byles observes,
+"Cheerfulness eminently conduces to health both of body and mind; it is
+one of the great physicians of nature.
+
+  "Il y a trois médecins qui ne se trompent pas,
+   La gaité, le doux exercice, et le modeste repas.
+
+Every hour redeemed from despondency and melancholy, and bathed in the
+sunshine of cheerfulness, is an hour of true life gained."
+
+Our views with regard to the first appearance of laughter depend on
+whether we consider that man was gradually developed from the primeval
+oyster, or that he came into the world much in the same condition as
+that in which we find him now. If we adopt the former opinion, we must
+consider that no outward expressions of feeling originally existed; if
+the latter, that they were from the first almost as perfect as they are
+at present. But I think that we shall be on tolerably safe ground, and
+have the support of probability and history, if we say that, in his
+earliest condition, the mental endowments of man were of the very
+humblest description, but that he had always a tendency to progress and
+improve. This view obtains some little corroboration from the fact that
+the sounds animals utter in the early stages of their lives are not
+fully developed, and that the children of the poor are graver and more
+silent than those of the educated classes. But a certain predisposition
+to laughter there always was, for what animal has ever produced any but
+its own characteristic sound? Has not everyone its own natural mode of
+expression? Does not the dog show its pleasure by wagging its tail, and
+the cat by purring? We never find one animal adopting the vocal sounds
+of another--a bird never mews, and a cat never sings. Some men have been
+called cynics from their whelpish ill-temper, but none of them have ever
+adopted a real canine snarl, though it might express their feelings
+better than human language. Laughter, so far as we can judge, could not
+have been obtained by any mere mental exercise, nor would it have come
+from imitation, for it is only found in man, the yelping of a hyena
+being as different from it as the barking of a dog, or the cackling of
+a goose. We may, however, suppose that the first sounds uttered by man
+were demonstrative of pain or pleasure, marking a great primary
+distinction, which we make in common with all animals. But our next
+expression showed superior sensibility and organism: it denoted a very
+peculiar perception of the intermingling of pain and pleasure, a
+combination of opposite feelings not possessed by other animals, or not
+distinct enough in them to have a specific utterance. There might seem
+to be something almost physical in the sensation, as it can be excited
+by tickling, or the inhalation of gas. Similar results may be produced
+by other bodily causes. Homer speaks of the chiefs laughing after a
+sumptuous banquet, and of a man "laughing sweetly" when drunk. Bacon's
+term _titillatio_, would seem very appropriate in such cases. There was
+an idea, in olden times, that laughter emanated from a particular part
+of the body. Tasso, in "Jerusalem Delivered," describing the death of
+Ardonio, who was slain by a lance, says that it
+
+    "Pierced him through the vein
+   Where laughter has her fountain and her seat,
+     So that (a dreadful bane)
+   He laughed for pain, and laughed himself to death."
+
+This idea probably arose from observing the spasmodic power of
+laughter, which was greater formerly than now, and to the same origin we
+may attribute the stories of the fatal consequences it has, at times,
+produced; of Zeuxis, the painter, having expired in a fit brought on by
+contemplating a caricature he had made of an old woman, and of
+Franciscus Cosalinus, a learned logician, having thus broken a
+blood-vessel, which led to his dying of consumption. Wolfius relates
+"that a country bumpkin, called Brunsellius, by chance seeing a woman
+asleep at a sermon fall off her seat, was so taken that he laughed for
+three days, which weakened him so that he continued for a long time
+afterwards in an infirm state."
+
+We must suppose that laughter has always existed in man, at least as
+long as he has been physically constituted as he is now, for it might
+always have been produced by tickling the papillæ of the nerves, which
+are said to be more exposed in man than in other animals. When we have
+stated the possibility of this pleasurable sensation being awakened
+under such circumstances, we have, in fact, asserted that it was in
+course of time thus called into existence. But the enjoyment might have
+been limited to this low phase, for the mind might have been so vacant,
+so deficient in emotion and intelligence that the moral and intellectual
+conditions necessary for a higher kind of laughter might have been
+wanting. This seems to be the case among some savages at the present
+day, such as the New Zealanders and North American Indians. The earliest
+laughter did not arise from what we call the ludicrous, but from
+something apparently physical--such as touch--though it does not follow
+that it would never otherwise have existed at all, for, as the mind more
+fully developed itself, facial expressions would flow from superior and
+more numerous causes. Nor can we consider that what is properly called
+mirth was shown in this primitive physical laughter, which was such as
+may be supposed to have existed when darkness was on the face of the
+intellectual world. How great, and of what continuance, was this
+primeval stagnation must be for ever unknown to us, but it was not
+destined to prevail. Light gradually dawned upon the mental wastes, and
+they became productive of beauty and order. As greater sensibility
+developed itself, emotion began to be expressed; first, probably at an
+adult period of life, by the sounds belonging to the corresponding
+feelings in the bodily constitution. Tears and cries betoken mental as
+well as physical anguish, and laughter denoted a mixed pleasurable
+feeling either in mind or body. There is a remarkable instance of this
+transference from the senses to the emotional feelings in the case of
+what is called sardonic laughter, in which a similar contortion of
+countenance to that caused by the pungency of a Sardinian herb is
+considered to denote a certain moral acerbity. Here there is an analogy
+established between the senses and emotions in their outward
+manifestation, just as there is in language in the double meaning of
+such terms as bitter and sweet.
+
+When we consider the fact that matter is that which gives, and mind that
+which receives impressions, or that our perceptions do not teach the
+nature of external things, but that of our own constitution, we shall
+admit that there is not such a fundamental difference between feelings
+derived from the sense of touch, and those coming through our other
+senses. But we must observe that there is a great practical difference
+between them, inasmuch as the one sense remains in its original
+primitive state, and is not cultivated as are the others. Physical
+laughter requires no previous experience, no exercise of judgment, and
+therefore has no connection with the intellectual powers of the mind.
+The lowest boor may laugh on being tickled, but a man must have
+intelligence to be amused by wit. The senses which are the least
+discriminating are the least productive of humour, little is derived
+from that of smell or of taste, though we may talk sometimes of an
+educated palate and an acquired taste. The finer organs of sight and
+hearing are the chief mediums of humour, but the sense of touch might by
+education be rendered exquisitely sensitive, and Dickens mentions the
+case of a girl he met in Switzerland who was blind, deaf, and dumb, but
+who was constantly laughing. Among infants, also, where very slight
+complication is required, the sense of humour can be excited by touch.
+Thus nurses will sing, "Brow brinky, eye winkey, nose noppy, cheek
+cherry, mouth merry," and greatly increase the little one's appreciation
+by, at the same time, touching the features named. Contact with other
+bodies occasions a sensation, and might, by degrees, awaken an emotion;
+and we might thus have such a sense of the ludicrous as that obtained
+through eye and ear, which is sometimes almost intuitive, and but
+slightly derived from reflection or experience. Of this kind is that
+aroused by the rapid changes of form and colour of the kaleidoscope, and
+those pantomimic representations which amuse the young and uneducated,
+and others who live mostly in the senses.
+
+We have now arrived at the emotional phase of laughter, that in which
+emotion far exceeds intellectual action. At this stage, we have a kind
+of laughter which we may call that of pleasure, inasmuch as it is the
+first that deserves a distinct name. This laughter of pleasure required
+very little complication of thought, contained no unamiable feeling, and
+expressed the mildest sense of the ludicrous. At the same time, it did
+not flow from any mere constitutional joyousness, but only arose upon
+certain occasions, in consequence of some remarkable and unusual
+occurrence--such as the reception of glad tidings, or the sudden
+acquisition of some good fortune. This ancient laughter, now no longer
+existing, is alluded to in early writings.
+
+Thus we read in Gen. xxi. 6, that Sarah, on the birth of Isaac, said
+"God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me,"
+and in Ps. cxxvi., "When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we
+were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and
+our tongue with singing." And in Proverbs we find, "There is a time to
+weep, and a time to laugh," contrasting the expression of sorrow with
+that of pleasure. Passing into Greek literature, we find laughter
+constantly termed "sweet." In Iliad xxi, "Saturn smiled sweetly at
+seeing his daughter;" in xxiii. "The chiefs arose to throw the shield,
+and the Greeks laughed, _i.e._, with joy." In Odyssey, xx. 390, they
+prepare the banquet with laughter. Od. xxii., 542, Penelope laughs at
+Telemachus sneezing, when she is talking of Ulysses' return; she takes
+it for a good omen. And in the Homeric Hymns, which, although inferior
+in date to the old Bard, are still among the earliest specimens of
+literature, we find, in that to Mercury, that the god laughs on
+beholding a tortoise, "thinking that he will make a beautiful lyre out
+of its shell;" and a little further on, Apollo laughs at hearing the
+sound of the lyre. In the hymn to Aphrodite, the laughter-loving Venus
+laughed sweetly when she thought of men and mortals being intermarried.
+The fact that this and the preceding kinds of laughter were not
+necessarily regarded as intellectual, is evident from the ancient poets
+attributing them to vegetable and inorganic life. Considerable licence
+in personification must no doubt be conceded to those who went so far as
+to deify the elements, and to imagine a sort of soul in the universe,
+and no doubt language as well as feeling was not at the time strictly
+limited. But it must be remarked that, while they rarely attribute
+laughter to the lower animals, they also never ascribe any other sign of
+emotion, nor even that in its higher kinds, to insensate matter. In all
+these passages it is of a physical, or merely pleasurable description.
+In Iliad xiv. 362, speaking of the Grecian host, Homer says that "the
+gleam of their armour was reflected to heaven, and all the earth around
+laughed at the brazen refulgence."
+
+In Hesiod's Theogony, v. 40, we read that when the Muses are singing
+"the palace of loud-thundering Jove laughs (with delight) at their lily
+voice;" and in the Hymn to Ceres we find Proserpine beholding a
+Narcissus, from the root of which a hundred heads sprang forth "and the
+whole heavens were scented with its fragrance, and the whole earth
+laughed and the briny wave of the sea." Theognis writes that Delos, when
+Apollo was born, "was filled with the ambrosial odour, and the huge
+earth laughed." The poets seemed scarcely to have advanced beyond such a
+bold similitude, and we may conclude that while they saw in laughter
+something above the powers of the brute creation, they did not consider
+that it necessarily expressed the smallest exercise of intellect.
+
+This laughter of pleasure, which cheered the early centuries of the
+world, now no longer exists except perhaps in childhood. It belongs to
+simpler if not happier natures than our own. If a man were now to say
+that his friends laughed on hearing of some good fortune having come to
+him, we should suppose that they disbelieved it, or thought there was
+something ridiculous in the occurrence. In these less emotional ages, in
+which the manifestations of joy and sorrow are more subdued, it is mute,
+and has subsided into a smile. It is difficult to say when the change
+took place, but our finding smiles mentioned in Homer, though not in
+Scripture, might suggest their Greek origin, if they were at first
+merely a modification of the early laughter of pleasure, betokening
+little more than kindly or joyous emotions. Although not always now
+genial, the smile continues to be used for the symbol of pleasure, even
+in reference to inanimate Nature, as where Milton writes "Old Ocean
+smiled." The smile may have preceded laughter, as the bud comes before
+the blossom, but it may, on the other hand, have been a reduction of
+something more demonstrative.
+
+We have still a kind of laughter approaching very nearly to that of
+pleasure, which contains little reflection, but cannot be regarded as
+simply physical. This description seems to be that alluded to in the
+Book of Ecclesiastes, "I said of laughter, it is mad, and of mirth, what
+good doeth it?" Of the same nature is that to which some excitable and
+joyous persons are constitutionally inclined. Their perpetual merriment
+seems to us childish and silly. Thus Steele observes to an hilarious
+friend, "Sir, you never laughed in your life," and farther on he
+remarks, "Some men laugh from mere benevolence."
+
+The pleasure accompanying the perception of the ludicrous has been by
+some attributed to the exercise of certain muscles in the face, and by
+others to the acquisition of new ideas. But we may safely discard both
+theories, for the former derives the enjoyment from physical instead of
+mental sources, and the latter gives us credit for too great a delight
+in knowledge, even were it thus generally obtained. The enjoyment seems
+partly to arise from stimulation and activity of mind, excitement being
+generally agreeable, whereas inaction is monotonous and wearisome. But
+it seems also partly to be derived from sources which are, or appear to
+be, collateral. Thus, in the early laughter of pleasure, some solid
+advantage or gratification, present or future, was always in view, and
+from men being delighted at their own success, which must often have
+been obtained at the expense of others, it was an easy transition to
+rejoice at the failure of rivals. In those primitive times, when people
+felt themselves insecure, and one tribe was constantly at war with
+another, there was nothing that gave them so much joy as the misfortunes
+of their enemies. They exhibited their exultation by indulging in
+extravagant transports, in shouting, in singing and dancing, and when
+there appeared some strangeness or peculiarity, something sudden or
+unaccountable in such disasters, laughter broke forth of that rude and
+hostile character which we may occasionally still hear among the
+uneducated classes. It accorded with the age in which it prevailed--a
+period when men were highly emotional and passionate, while their
+intellectual powers were feeble and inactive.
+
+The two early phases of the ludicrous--those of pleasure and of
+hostility--containing small complexity, and a large proportion of
+emotion, are to a certain extent felt by the lower animals. Dr. Darwin
+has observed an approximation to the laughter of pleasure in monkeys,
+but he does not connect it with intelligence, and would not, I believe,
+claim for them any sense of the ludicrous. I have, however, seen a dog,
+on suddenly meeting a friend, not only wag his tail, but curl up the
+corners of his lips, and show his teeth, as if delighted and amused. We
+may also have observed a very roguish expression sometimes in the face
+of a small dog when he is barking at a large one, just as a cat
+evidently finds some fun in tormenting and playing with a captured
+mouse. I have even heard of a monkey who, for his amusement, put a live
+cat into a pot of boiling water on the fire. These animals are those
+most nearly allied to man, but the perception of the ludicrous is not
+strong enough in them to occasion laughter. The opinion of Vives that
+animals do not laugh because the muscles of their countenances do not
+allow them, can scarcely be regarded as philosophical. Milton tells us
+that,
+
+     "Smiles from reason flow, To brutes denied;"
+
+a statement which may be taken as generally correct, although we admit
+that there may be some approximation to smiling among the lower animals,
+and that it does not always necessarily proceed from reason.
+
+The pleasure found in hostile laughter soon led to practical jokes.
+Although now discountenanced, they were anciently very common, and
+formed the first link between humour and the ludicrous. They were not
+imitative, and did not show any actual power to invent what was
+humorous, but a desire to amuse by doing something which might cause
+some ludicrous action or scene, just as people unable to speak would
+point to things they wish to designate. These early jokes had severer
+objects coupled with amusement, and were what we should call no joke at
+all. The first character in the records of antiquity that seems to have
+had anything quaint or droll about it is that of Samson. Standing out
+amid the confusion of legendary times, he gives us good specimens of the
+fierce and wild kind of merriment relished in ancient days; and was fond
+of making very sanguinary "sport for the Philistines." He was an
+exaggeration of a not very uncommon type of man, in which brute strength
+is joined to loose morals and whimsical fancy. People were more inclined
+to laugh at sufferings formerly, because they were not keenly sensitive
+to pain, and also had less feeling and consideration for others. That
+Samson found some malicious kind of pleasure and diversion in his
+reprisals on his enemies, and made their misfortunes minister to his
+amusement, is evident from the strange character of his exploits. "He
+caught three hundred foxes, and took fire-brands, and turned tail to
+tail, and put a fire-brand in the midst between two tails, and when he
+had set the brands on fire, he let them go into the standing corn of the
+Philistines, and burnt up both the shocks and also the standing corn of
+the Philistines, with the vineyards and olives." On another occasion he
+allowed himself to be bound with cords, and thus apparently delivered
+powerless into the hands of his enemies; he then broke his bonds "like
+flax that was burnt with fire," and taking the _jaw-bone of an ass_,
+which he found, slew a thousand men with it. His account of this
+massacre shows that he regarded it in a humorous light: "With the
+jaw-bone of an ass heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass I have slain
+a thousand men." We might also refer to his carrying away the gates of
+Gaza to the top of a hill that is before Hebron, and to his duping
+Delilah about the seven green withes.
+
+In the above instances it will be observed that destruction or
+disappointment of enemies was the primary, and amusement the secondary
+object. It must be admitted that all such jokes are of a very poor and
+severe description. They have not the undesigned coincidence of the
+ludicrous nor the fanciful invention of true humour. Samson was
+evidently regarded as a droll fellow in his day, but beyond his jokes
+the only venture of his on record is a riddle, which showed very little
+ingenuity, and can not be regarded as humorous now, even if it were so
+then.
+
+It would, perhaps, be going too far to assert that no laughter of a
+better kind existed before the age at which we are now arrived; some
+minds are always in advance of their time, as others are behind it, but
+they are few. The only place in which there is any approach in early
+times to what may be called critical laughter is recorded where Abraham
+and Sarah were informed of the approaching birth of Isaac. Perhaps this
+laughter was mostly that of pleasure. Sarah denied that she laughed, and
+Abraham was not rebuked when guilty of the same levity.[4]
+
+With the exception of the above-mentioned riddle, and rough pranks of
+Samson, we have no trace of humour until after the commencement of the
+Monarchy. The reigns of David and Solomon seemed to have formed the
+brightest period in the literary history of the Jews. The sweet Psalmist
+of Israel was partly the pioneer to deeper thought, partly the
+representative of the age in which he lived. It is the charm of his
+poetry that it is very rich and recondite--a mine of gold, which the
+farther it is worked, the more precious its yield becomes. But it
+everywhere bears the stamp of passion and religious ardour, and does not
+bespeak the critical incisiveness of a highly civilised age.
+Argumentative acumen would have been as much below the poetic mind of
+David in one respect as it was above it in another, and while his
+rapturous language of admiration and faith seems above the range of
+human genius; his bitter denunciations of his enemies remind us of his
+date, and the circumstances by which he was surrounded. Such immaturity
+would be sufficient to account for the non-existence of humour. It may
+be urged that David had no tendency in that direction. His thoughts were
+turned towards the sublime, and his religious character, his royal
+estate, and the vicissitudes of his early life, all inclined him to
+serious reflection. But we do not find that David was invariably grave
+and solemn. He indulged in laughter at the misfortunes of his
+adversaries, as we may conclude from a passage in Psalm lii, 6. "God
+shall likewise destroy thee for ever; he shall take thee away and pluck
+thee out of thy dwelling-place, and root thee out of the land of the
+living. Selah. The righteous also shall see and fear, and shall laugh at
+him."
+
+He also considered that, in turn, his enemies would deride him, if he
+were unsuccessful. Psalm xxii, 7--"All they that see me laugh me to
+scorn; they shoot out the lip and shake the head, saying, 'He trusted in
+the Lord.'"
+
+He evidently thought there was nothing wrong in such laughter, for he
+even considers it compatible with Divine attributes,[5] Psalm ii, 4,
+"He that sitteth in Heaven shall laugh; the Lord shall have them in
+derision;" and Psalm xxxvii, 13, "The Lord shall laugh at him, for he
+seeth that his day is coming."
+
+Nothing can make it more certain than such expressions that the prophets
+interpreted the intimations they received from above by clothing them
+with their own mundane similitudes.
+
+On the other hand, although David laughed at his enemies, he never seems
+to have done so at anything else. He frequently mentions fools, but
+always with detestation. To him the term did not convey any idea of
+frivolity or eccentricity, but of crime and wickedness. All these
+considerations tend to convince us that we can see in the writings of
+David a fairly good reflection of the mirth common in his day. Add to
+this that there is no trace in any contemporary work of an attempt
+beyond the emotional phases of the ludicrous, and we do not at this time
+read of any performance of Jewish plays, or of any kind of amusing
+representations.
+
+A more advanced, but less faithful age is represented by another man.
+The soldier-king passed away to make room for one educated under milder
+influences. He inherited not the piety or warlike virtues of his father,
+but turned the same greatness of mind into a more luxurious and learned
+channel. In his writings we find little that approaches the sublime, but
+much that implies analytical depth and complexity of thought. His tone
+bespeaks a settled and civilized period favourable to art and
+philosophy, in which subtlety was appreciated, while the old feelings of
+acerbity had become greatly softened.
+
+In the intellectual and moral state at this date, there were many
+conditions favourable to the development of humour. But we do not find
+it yet actually existing, although we must suppose that a mind capable
+of forming proverbs could not have been entirely insensible to it. We
+may define a proverb to be a moral statement, instructive in object, and
+epigrammatically expressed. It is always somewhat controversial, and
+when it approaches a truism scarcely deserves the name.
+
+A great many of Solomon's proverbs may be regarded in two lights, and I
+think a comparison between some of them will show that he was aware of
+the fact, and if so he could scarcely have avoided feeling some sense
+of the ludicrous, and even of having a slight idea of humour in its
+higher phases. I shall allude in illustration of this to a proverb often
+quoted ironically at the present day. "In the multitude of counsellors
+there is wisdom," and which we have combated and answered by a common
+domestic adage.
+
+Again Solomon is rather hard upon the failings of the ladies, "The
+contentions of a wife," he says, "are a continual dropping." "It is
+better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than with a brawling woman
+in a wide house." "It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a
+contentious and angry woman." The meaning of all these sayings must be
+that women are of a very irritable and vexatious character. But did
+Solomon really believe in the strong terms he used towards them. We
+should say not to judge by his life, for he had "seven hundred wives,
+and three hundred concubines;" and although he says that, "as a jewel of
+gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman that is without
+discretion"--a very strong comparison--we may be sure that he had a
+great many of these despicable creatures domiciled in his own palace.
+
+Solomon's strictures with regard to money may also be regarded as of
+somewhat uncertain value:--"How much better is it to get wisdom than
+gold," sounds very well, although Solomon must have known that many men
+would prefer the latter, and history seems to say that he was not averse
+from it himself. "He that is despised and hath a servant is better than
+he that honoureth himself, and lacketh bread," shows at least some
+appreciation of the usefulness of wealth. Ecclesiastes makes a more
+decided statement. "Money answereth all things." I should imagine
+Solomon was as much alive to the two sides of the question, as was the
+Greek who on being asked scoffingly "why philosophers followed rich men,
+but rich men never followed philosophers," replied, "Because
+philosophers know what they want, but rich men do not."
+
+In one place Solomon shows his consciousness that his proverbs may be
+viewed as true or false. He gives two opposite propositions--"Answer not
+a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him," and,
+"Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own
+conceit." Shortly afterwards, he observes, as if the idea of perverting
+and turning proverbs was in his mind, "The legs of a lame man are not
+equal, so is a parable in the mouth of fools."
+
+There was another form besides that of Proverbs, in which during
+earlier ages moral and political teachings were expressed. One of the
+first comparisons man learned to draw was that between himself and the
+lower animals; and the separation between reason and instinct would not
+appear to be at first so clearly defined as it is at present. Before the
+growth of cities, and the increased intercourse and accumulated
+experience resulting from their formation, the mental development of man
+was so small as not to offer any very strong contrast to the sagacity of
+other animals. The greatest men of ancient times were merely nomad
+chiefs living on the wild pasture plains, often tending their own
+flocks, and, no doubt, like the Arabs of the present day, making
+companions of their camels and horses. By the rivers and in the jungles,
+they often encountered beasts of prey, became familiar with their
+habits, and formed a higher opinion of their intelligence than we
+generally hold. At that time, when strength was more esteemed than
+intellectual gifts, there was sometimes a tendency to consider them as
+rather above than below the human race. The lion, the eagle, and the
+stag possessed qualities to which it was man's highest ambition to
+aspire, and, in some cases, he even went so far as to worship them. In
+the ancient civilisation of Egypt we find the most numerous traces of
+this culture and feeling--gods, kings, rulers, and disembodied spirits
+being represented entirely or partially under the forms of what we call
+the lower animals. The strange allegorical figures found at Nineveh may
+also be considered illustrations in point. There was evidently no
+caricature intended in these representations, and it is worthy of notice
+that such as are grotesque are not earlier than Roman times.
+
+It is unnecessary to recapitulate the beautiful comparisons of this
+character which are profusely scattered through Holy Writ, but we should
+especially notice the blessing given by Jacob to his sons on his
+death-bed; in which we seem almost to discover the first origin of
+heraldry. Another remarkable comparison is that of Nathan, aptly made,
+and likely to sink with weight into the heart of the Shepherd-King. The
+same respect for animals survived in the time of the earliest Greek
+writers.
+
+Homer in his solemn epic has numerous instances of it:--Hector in
+"Iliad" xi, 297, is setting the Trojans on "like dogs at a wild boar or
+lion." In xi, 557, Ajax retreating slowly from the Trojans is compared
+to an ass who has gone to feed in a field, and whom the boys find great
+difficulty in driving out, "though they belabour him well with cudgels."
+Agamemnon is compared to a bull, Sarpedon and Patroclus in deadly
+combat to two vultures, and Diomed and Ulysses pursue Dolon as two fleet
+hounds chase a hare. All these were evidently intended to be most
+poetical, if not elevating similes; their dignity would have been lost
+could they possibly have been regarded as humorous.
+
+Simonides of Amorgos in the seventh century B.C., is remarkable
+for this kind of illustration. After some lamentations about human life,
+he observes that nothing is better than a good wife, or worse than a bad
+one, and he proceeds to compare women to various animals. He is also
+evidently very serious over the subject, and regards it as no joke at
+all. Perhaps there was also something to be said on the other side, for
+he remarks that a gadding wife cannot be cured, even if you "knock out
+her teeth with a stone." He likens them to pigs and polecats, horses
+and apes; and only praises the descendant of the bee. In a passage
+undoubtedly of early date, and attributed to Xenophanes, the founder of
+the Eleatic school of philosophy, (540-500) the writer enumerates the
+various ways, in which other animals are superior to man. "If by the
+will of God there were an equality and community in life, so that the
+herald of the Olympian games should not only call men to the contest,
+but also bid all animals to come, no man would carry off a prize; for
+in the long race the horse would be the best; the hare would win the
+short race; the deer would be best in the double race. No man's
+fleetness would count for anything, and no one since Hercules would seem
+to have been stronger than the elephant or lion; the bull would carry
+off the crown in striking, and the ass in kicking, and history would
+record that an ass conquered men in wrestling and boxing."
+
+But the light in which the lower animals were regarded, produced other
+fanciful combinations. Not only were men given the attributes of
+animals, but animals were endowed with the gifts peculiar to man. All
+things were then possible. Standing as he seemed in the centre of a
+plain of indefinite or interminable extent, how could any man limit the
+productions or vagaries of Nature, even if he possessed far more than
+the narrow experience of those days? Moreover, the boundary lines were
+vague between the natural and supernatural, and the latter was supposed
+to be constantly interposing in the ordinary affairs of life. Among
+other beliefs then prevalent, was one in the existence of a kind of half
+nature, such as that in Centaurs, dragons, and griffins. In the Assyrian
+cuneiform inscriptions lately deciphered, we read, of one Heabani, a
+semi-bovine hermit, supposed to have lived 2,200 B.C. Thus the
+accounts in Scripture of the serpent accosting Eve, and of Balaam
+arguing with his ass, would not have seemed so remarkable then as they
+do to us. In an Egyptian novel--the oldest extant, cir. 1,400
+B.C.--a cow tells Bata that his elder brother is standing
+before him with his dagger ready to kill him. He understood, we are
+told, the language of animals, and was afterwards transformed into a
+bull. Greek tradition as recorded by Plato, Xenophon, Babrius, and
+others, speaks of an early golden age in which men and animals held
+colloquies together "as in our fables;" whence we should conclude this
+much--that there was a time when poets very commonly introduced them as
+holding conversations, and when philosophers illustrated their doctrines
+from the animal world.
+
+The fable, we are told, was "an invention of ancient Assyrian men in the
+days of Ninus and Belus," and in confirmation of its Eastern origin, we
+may observe that the apologues of Lokman are of Indian derivation. He is
+supposed, by Arabian writers, to have been either a nephew of Abraham or
+Job, or a counsellor of David or Solomon.
+
+The first specimen we have of an ordinary fable, _i.e._, of one in which
+the interlocutors are lower animals, is found in Hesiod, who is placed
+about a century after Homer. It runs thus:--
+
+"Now I will tell the kings a fable, which they will understand of
+themselves. Thus spake the hawk to the nightingale, whom he was carrying
+in his talons high in air, 'Foolish creature! why dost thou cry out? One
+much stronger than thou hath seized thee, though thou art a songster. I
+can tear thee to pieces, or let thee go at my pleasure.'"
+
+But fables do not come fully under our view until they are connected
+with the name of Æsop, who is said to have introduced them into Greece.
+In general his fables pretend to nothing more than an illustration of
+proverbial wisdom, but in some cases they proceed a step farther, and
+show the losses and disappointments which result from a neglect of
+prudent considerations. It cannot be denied that there is something
+fanciful and amusing in these fables, still there is not much in them to
+excite laughter--they are not sufficiently direct or pungent for that.
+The losses or disappointments mentioned, or implied, give a certain
+exercise to the feelings of opposition in the human breast, and if they
+are supposed to be such as could not easily have been foreseen, we
+should regard the narratives as humorous. But this is scarcely the
+case; the mishaps arise simply and directly from the situations, and
+are related with a view to the inculcation of truth, rather than the
+exhibition of error. Hence the basis is different from that in genuine
+humour, and the complication is small. Still the object evidently was to
+allure men into the paths of wisdom through the pleasure grounds of
+imagination.
+
+Addison has justly observed that fables were the first kind of humour.
+As the days of Athenian civilization advanced, their light chaff was
+thought more of than their solid matter. Two hundred years of progress
+in man caused the animals to be truly considered "lower," natural
+distinctions were better appreciated, and there seemed to be something
+absurd in the idea of their thinking or talking. Hence Æsop's fables are
+spoken of by Aristophanes as something laughable, and the fabulist came
+to be regarded as a humorist. This feeling gained ground so much
+afterwards that Lucian makes Æsop act the part of a buffoon in "The
+Isles of the Blessed." Such views no doubt influenced the traditions
+with regard to the condition and characteristics of their composer.
+There was the more field for this, inasmuch as even the fables were only
+handed down orally. Some biographer, formerly supposed to have been
+Planudes the monk, seems to have fertilized with his own inventive
+genius many tales which had themselves no better foundation than the
+conjectures derived from the tone and nature of the fables. Æsop was
+represented as droll, as a sort of wit, and by a development of the
+connection in the mind between humour and the ludicrous, they gave him
+an infirm body, hesitating speech, and servile condition. Improving the
+story, they said his figure frightened the servants of the merchant who
+bought him. At the same time many clever tricks and speeches were
+attributed to him. What we really glean from such stories is, that
+animal fables soon came to be regarded as humorous. It is probable that
+some fabulist of the name of Æsop at one time existed, but we know
+nothing with certainty about his life, and many of the fables attributed
+to him were perhaps of older date.
+
+The advance in the direction of humour, which was manifested in Æsop's
+fictions, was also found in the opulent Ionian Sybaris. This city,
+situated on the lovely Bay of Tarentum, was now at the height of its
+fame, the acknowledged centre of Greek luxury and civilization. A
+reflection of oriental splendour seems to have been cast upon it, and we
+read of all kinds of extravagant and curious arrangements for the
+indulgence of ease and indolence. Amid all this luxury and leisure,
+fancy was not unemployed. We find that, like the former leaders of
+fashion in this country, they kept a goodly train of monkeys,[6] and
+anticipated our circus performances by teaching their horses to dance on
+their hind legs, an advance above practical joking and below pictorial
+caricature. Moreover, intellectual entertainment was required at their
+sumptuous feasts, and genius was tasked to find something light and
+racy, maxims of deep significance interwoven with gay and fanciful
+creations. There was not sufficient subtlety about these inventions to
+entitle them to the name of humour in our modern sense of the word; much
+complication was not then required, nor much laughter expected. The
+"fables" of Sybaris seem to have been of a similarly philosophical cast
+to those of Æsop. The following specimen is given in the Vespæ, 1427.
+
+"A man of Sybaris fell from a chariot, and, as it happened, had his head
+broken--for he was not well acquainted with driving--and a friend who
+stood by, said, 'Let every man practise the craft, which he
+understands.'"
+
+We observe that these fables are not carried on through the assistance
+of our four-footed friends. At Sybaris, conversation between men and the
+lower animals had begun to appear not only absurd, but to be improved
+upon and made with the evident intention of being humorous. Hence,
+inanimate things were sometimes made to speak, and in succeeding
+fictions birds and beasts were given such special characteristics and
+requirements of men as could least have belonged to them. As an example
+of this, we may refer to the Batrachomyomachia--a production called
+Homeric but proved by the very length of its name to belong to a later
+date. It is ascribed by Plutarch to Pigres, the brother of the
+Halicarnassian Queen, Artemisia, contemporary with the Persian War. This
+poem, which is a parody on Homer, reminds us, in its microscopic
+representation of human affairs, of the travels of Gulliver in Lilliput.
+A frog offers to give a mouse a ride across the water on his back.
+Unfortunately, a water-snake lifts up its head when they are in the
+middle passage, and the frog diving to avoid the danger, the mouse is
+drowned. From this trifling cause there arises a mighty war between the
+frogs and the mice. The contest is carried on in true Homeric style; the
+mice-warriors are armed with bean-pods for greaves, lamp-bosses for
+shields, nutshells for helmets, and long needles for spears. The frogs
+have leaves of willow on their legs, cabbage leaves for shields,
+cockle-shells for helmets, and bulrushes for spears. Their names are
+suggestive, as in a modern pantomime. Among the mice we have
+Crumb-stealer, Cheese-scooper, and Lick-dish; among the frogs,
+Puff-cheeks, Loud-croaker, Muddyman, Lovemarsh, &c.
+
+
+
+
+PART II.
+
+GREEK HUMOUR.
+
+Birth of Humour--Personalities--Story of Hippocleides--Origin of
+  Comedy--Archilochus--Hipponax--Democritus, the Laughing
+  Philosopher--Aristophanes--Humour of the
+  Senses--Indelicacy--Enfeeblement of the Drama--Humorous
+  Games--Parasites, their Position and
+  Jests--Philoxenus--Diogenes--Court of Humour--Riddles--Silli.
+
+
+There is every reason to suppose that a very considerable period elapsed
+before any progress was made in advance of the ludicrous, but at length
+by those who appreciated it strongly, and saw it in things in which it
+did not appear to others, humorous devices were invented from a growing
+desire to multiply the occasions for enjoyment. Observation and our
+power of imitation provided the means, and men of humour employed
+themselves in reproducing some ludicrous situations; and thus, instead
+of things derided being as previously wholly separate from those who
+derided them, a man could laugh, and yet be the cause of laughter to
+others. This discovery was soon improved upon, and by aid of imagination
+and memory, as opportunities offered, certain connections and
+appearances were represented under a great variety of forms. As the mind
+enlarged, the exciting causes of laughter were not mainly physical or
+emotional, but assumed a higher and more rational character.
+
+At the period at which we have now arrived, we find humour dawning
+through various channels. We have traced approximations towards it in
+proverbs and fables, and, in a coarse form, in practical jokes; and as
+from historical evidences we are ready to admit that civilization had an
+Eastern origin, so we shall feel little difficulty in assigning Greece
+as the birthplace of humour. A greater activity of mind now begins to
+prevail, reflection has gradually given distinctness to emotion, and the
+ludicrous is not only recognised as a source of pleasure, but
+intentionally represented in literature.
+
+Before the time of Æsop, though not perhaps of his fables, Homer related
+a few laughable occurrences of so simple a character as to require
+little ingenuity. In this respect he is not much better than a man who
+recounts some absurd incident he has witnessed without adding sufficient
+to it to show that he has a humorous imagination. His mirth, except
+when merely that of pleasure, is of the old hostile character. In Iliad,
+xi, 378, Paris, having hit Diomed, from behind a pillar with an arrow in
+the foot, springs forth from his concealment and laughs at him, saying
+he wished he had killed him. In Iliad, xxi, 407, where the gods descend
+into the battle, Minerva laughs at Mars when she has struck him with a
+huge stone so that he fell, his hair was draggled in the dust, and his
+armour clanged around him. In the Odyssey, Ulysses speaks of his heart
+laughing within him after he had put out Polyphemus' eye with a burning
+stick without being discovered. And in Book xviii, Ulysses strikes Irus
+under the ear and breaks his head, so that blood pours from his mouth,
+and he falls gnashing and struggling on the ground, at which, we are
+told, the suitors "die with laughter."
+
+From this hostile phase the transition was easy to ridiculing personal
+defects, and so Homer tells us that when the gods at their banquet saw
+Vulcan, who was acting as butler, "stumping about on his lame leg," they
+fell into "unextinguishable laughter."
+
+Thersites is described as "squint-eyed, lame-legged, with bent shoulders
+pinched over his chest, a pointed head, and very little hair on it."
+Homer may merely have intended to represent the reviler of kings as
+odious and despicable, but there seems to be some humour intended.
+Ridicule of personal defects must always be of an inferior kind, being a
+matter of sight, and of small complexity. As the first advance of the
+ludicrous was from the hostile to the personal, so the beginning of
+humour seems to have been the representation of personal defects.[7]
+
+In accordance with this, we find that the only mention of laughter made
+by Simonides of Amorgos is where he says that some women may be compared
+to apes, and then gives a very rude description of their persons. This
+subservience to the eye can also be observed in the appreciation of
+monkeys and dancing horses, already mentioned, the latter forming a
+humorous exhibition, as the animals were trained with a view to amuse.
+We have marks of the same optical tendencies in the appreciation of
+antics and contortions of the body, either as representing personal
+deformity, or as a kind of puzzling and disorderly action. A little
+contemporary story related by Herodotus shows that these pantomimic
+performances were now becoming fashionable in Athens. Cleisthenes,
+tyrant of Sicyon, was even at this date so much in favour of competitive
+examinations, that he determined to give his daughter to the most
+proficient and accomplished man. On the appointed day the suitors came
+to the examination from every quarter, for the fair Agariste was heiress
+to great possessions. Among them was one Hippocleides, an Athenian, who
+proved himself far superior to all the rest in music and dissertation.
+Afterwards, when the trial was over, desiring to indulge his feelings of
+triumph and show his skill, he called for a piper, and then for a table,
+upon which he danced, finishing up by standing on his head and kicking
+his legs about. Cleisthenes, who was apparently one of the "old school,"
+and did not appreciate the manners and customs of young Athens, was much
+offended by this undignified performance of his would-be son-in-law, and
+when he at last saw him standing on his head, could no longer contain
+himself, but cried out, "Son of Tisander, thou hast danced away thy
+marriage." To which the other replied with characteristic unconcern:
+"It's all the same to Hippocleides,"--an expression which became
+proverbial. In this story we see the new conception of humour, though
+of a rude kind, coming into collision with the old philosophic contests
+of ingenuity, which it was destined to survive if not to supersede.
+
+We have another curious instance about this date of an earnest-minded
+man being above the humour of the day, (which, no doubt, consisted
+principally of gesticulation), and he was probably voted an unsociable,
+old-fashioned fellow. Anacharsis, the great Scythian philosopher, when
+jesters were introduced into his company maintained his gravity, but
+when afterwards a monkey was brought in, he burst into a fit of
+laughter, and said, "Now this is laughable by Nature; the other by Art."
+That amusement should be thus excited by natural objects denotes a very
+eccentric or primitive perception of the ludicrous, seldom now found
+among mature persons, but it is such as Diodorus, quoting no doubt from
+earlier histories, attributed to Osiris--"to whom," he says, "when in
+Ethiopia, they brought Satyrs, (who have hair on their backs,) for he
+was fond of what was laughable."
+
+But a further development of humour was in progress. As people were at
+that time easily induced to regard sufferings as ludicrous, the idea
+suggested itself of creating mirth by administering punishment, or by
+indulging in threats and gross aspersions. A very slight amount of
+invention or complexity was here necessary. The origin of the comic
+drama furnishes an illustration of this. It commenced in the harvest
+homes of Greece and Sicily--in the festivals of the grape-gatherers at
+the completion of the vintage. They paraded the villages, crowned with
+vine-leaves, carrying poles and branches, and smeared with the juice of
+grapes. Their aim was to provoke general merriment by dancing, singing,
+and grotesque attitudes, and by giving rein to their coarse and
+pugnacious propensities. Spectators and passers by were assailed with
+invectives, pelted with missiles, and treated to all that hostile humour
+which is associated with practical joking. So vile was their language
+and conduct that "comedy" came to signify abuse and vilification. As the
+taste for music and rhythm became general in that sunny clime, even
+these rioters adopted a kind of verse, by which rustic genius could give
+additional point to scurrility. Thus arose the Iambic measure used at
+the festivals of Ceres and Bacchus, and afterwards fabled to have been
+invented by Iambe, the daughter of the King of Eleusis. Hence, also,
+came the jesting used in celebrating the rites of Ceres in Sicily, and
+the custom for people to post themselves on the bridge leading to
+Eleusis in Attica, and to banter and abuse those going to the festivals.
+The story of Iambe only marks the rural origin of the metre, and its
+connection with Ceres, the Goddess of Harvest. Eleusis was her chosen
+abode, and next in her favour was Paros; and here we accordingly find
+the first improvement made upon these uncouth and virulent effusions.
+About the commencement of the 7th century, Archilochus, a native of this
+place, harnessed his ribaldries better, and put them into a "light horse
+gallop." He raised the Iambic style and metre so as to obtain the
+unenviable notoriety of having been the first to dip his pen in viper's
+gall. Good cause had he for his complaints, for a young lady's father,
+one Lycambes, refused to give him his daughter's hand. There was
+apparently some difficulty about the marriage gifts--the poet having
+nothing to give but himself. Rejected, he took to writing defamatory
+verses on Lycambes and his daughters, and composed them with so much
+skill and point that the whole family hanged themselves. Allusions,
+which led to such a catastrophe, could not now be regarded as
+pleasantries; but at that time he obtained a high reputation, and
+perhaps the suicide of the wretched Lycambes was considered the best
+joke of all.[8] The fragments which remain to us of Archilochus'
+productions seem melancholy enough, and the only place where he speaks
+of laughter is where he calls Charilaus "a thing to be laughed at,"--an
+expression which would seem to point to some personal deformity--we are
+told, however, by later writers, that he was a glutton. In another
+remaining passage Archilochus says that "he is not fond of a tall
+general walking with his legs apart, with his hair carefully arranged,
+and his chin well shaven;" where we still detect the same kind of
+caricature, and in default of any adequate specimen of his "gall," we
+may perhaps be excused for borrowing an illustration from Alcæus, who
+lived slightly later; and who, speaking of his political opponent
+Pittacus, calls him a "bloated paunch-belly," and a "filthy
+splay-footed, crack-footed, night fellow."
+
+Archilochus lived in the fable age, and the most perfect of the small
+fragments remaining of his works are of that allegorical description.
+But he may be regarded as a representative of the dull and bitter humour
+of his time--a large proportion of which, as in his writings, and those
+of Simonides and Hesiod, was ungallantly directed against the "girls of
+the period."[9]
+
+But Archilochus' humour, though rude and simple, opened a new mine of
+wealth, and if it was not at first very rich, it was enough to indicate
+the golden treasure beneath. Sonorous narratives about heroes and
+demi-gods were to be gradually supplanted by the bright contrasts of
+real life. Archilochus' ingenuity had introduced light metres suited for
+flippant and pointed allusions. The conceit was generally approved, and
+though the new form could not exactly be called humorous, it occurred to
+Hipponax, in the next century, that he could make it so by a slight
+alteration. Perhaps this "Father of Parody" intended to mimic
+Archilochus; at any rate, by means of a change in termination, he
+manufactured "limping" Iambics. We must suppose that he produced
+something better than this, but look in vain into his lines for any
+instances of real pungency. He was a sort of Greek Samson, his best
+jokes seem to have been connected with great strength, and to judge from
+what remains of his works, we should conclude that he was more justly
+famous for "tossing an oil cruise" than for producing anything which we
+should call humour. But, were we asked whether in that age his sayings
+would have been amusing, we may reply in the affirmative; they certainly
+had severity, for his figure having been caricatured by the sculptors of
+Chios, Bupalus and Anthermus, he repaid them so well in their own coin,
+that they also duly hanged themselves. It must be admitted that the fact
+of the same kind of death having been chosen by them, and by the objects
+of Archilochus' derision, does not increase greatly the credibility of
+the stories.
+
+We now come to consider what we may call a serious source of humour.
+Already we have noticed the tendency in ancient times to exercises of
+ingenuity in answering hard questions. These led to deeper thought, to
+the aphoristic wisdom of the seven wise men, and the speculations of
+those who were in due time to raise laughter at the follies of mankind.
+
+This introduces the era of the philosophers--a remarkable class of men,
+who grew up in the mercurial atmosphere of Greece. One of the most
+distinguished of them was Democritus, born 460 B.C. He came of
+noble descent, and belonged to so wealthy a family of Abdera that his
+father was able to entertain Xerxes on his return to Asia. The King left
+some Chaldean Magi to instruct his son, who, early in life, evinced a
+great desire for the acquisition of knowledge, and after studying under
+Leucippus, travelled to Egypt, Persia, and Babylon. He almost seemed a
+compound of two different characters, uniting the intellectual energy of
+the sage with the social feelings of a man of the world. Living in ease
+and opulence, he was not inclined to be censorious or morose; having
+mingled much in society, he was not very emotional or sympathetic; not
+tempted to think life a melancholy scene of suffering, but callous
+enough to find amusement in the ills he could not prevent. He regarded
+man, generally, as a curious study, as remarkable for not exercising the
+intellect with which he was endowed--not so much from censurable causes
+as from some obliquity in mental vision. Not that he regarded him as
+unaccountable--a fool in the ordinary acceptation of the word, is always
+a responsible being, and not synonymous with an idiot.
+
+The humour of this laughing sage, grounded upon deep philosophy, was so
+little understood in his day that none were able to join in his
+merriment, nor did he expect that they should be; if he was humorous to
+himself, he was not so, and did not aim at being so, to others. On the
+contrary, he was thought to be mad, and Hippocrates was directed to
+inquire into his disorder, but the learned physician returned answer
+that not he, but his opponents were deranged. Whether this story be a
+fabrication or not, we may regard it as a testimony that wise men saw
+much truth in his philosophy. Montaigne, in his Essay on Democritus and
+Heraclitus, gives his preference to the former, "Because," he observes,
+"men are more to be laughed at than hated," showing that he regarded him
+as imputing folly to men rather than vice.
+
+Even Socrates, whom we are accustomed to regard as the most earnest of
+philosophers was by no means a melancholy man. Fully aware of the
+influence exercised by humour, he often put his teachings into an
+indirect form, and he seems to have first thus generally attracted
+attention. He introduced what is called irony[10]--the using expressions
+which literally mean exactly the opposite to what is intended. A man may
+be either praised or blamed in this way, but Socrates' intention was
+always sarcastic. He put questions to men, as if merely desiring some
+information they could easily give him, while he knew that his inquiries
+could not be answered, without overthrowing the theories of those he
+addressed. Thus, he gave instruction whilst he seemed to solicit it. In
+various other ways he enlivened and recommended his doctrines by
+humorous illustration. It is said that he even went to the theatre to
+see himself caricatured, laughed as heartily as any, and stood up to
+show the audience how correctly his ill-favoured countenance had been
+reproduced. This story may be questioned, and it has been observed that
+he was not insensible to ridicule, for he said shortly before his death
+that no one would deride him any longer. We are told that he spent some
+of his last days in versifying the fables of Æsop.
+
+We now return from theoretical to practical life, from the philosophers
+to the public. Nothing exhibits more forcibly the variable character of
+humour than that, while philosophers in their "thinking shops" were
+laughing at the follies of the world, the populace in the theatre were
+shaking their sides at the absurdities of sages. Ordinary men did not
+appreciate abstract views, nor understand abstruse philosophic humour,
+indeed it died out almost as soon as it appeared, and was only
+contemporary with a certain epoch in the mental history of Greece. Every
+popular man is to a great extent a reflection of the age in which he
+lives, "a boat borne up by a billow;" and what, in this respect is true
+generally, is especially so with regard to the humorist, who seeks a
+present reward, and must be in unison with the characters of those he
+has to amuse. He depends much on hitting the current fancies of men by
+small and subtle allusions, and he must have a natural perception of
+fitness, of the direction in which he must go, and the limits he must
+not transgress. The literature of an epoch exhibits the taste of the
+readers, as well as that of the authors.
+
+We shall thus be prepared to find that the mind of Aristophanes,
+although his views were aristocratic, harmonized in tone with that of
+the people, and that his humour bears the stamp of the ancient era in
+which he lived. The illustrations from the animal world in which he
+constantly indulges remind us of the conceits of old times, when
+marvellous stories were as much admired as the monstrous figures upon
+the Persian tapestry. Would any man at the present day produce comedies
+with such names as "The Wasps," "The Frogs," and "The Birds."[11] But we
+here meet with our feathered and four-footed companions at every corner.
+The building of the bird's city is a good illustration of this. Thirty
+thousand cranes brought stones for the foundations from Libya, and ten
+thousand storks made bricks, the ducks with aprons on carried the
+bricks, and the swallows flew with trowels behind them like little boys,
+and with mortar in their beaks.
+
+We also notice in Aristophanes a simple and rude form of the ludicrous,
+scarcely to be called humour, much in favour with his immediate
+predecessors. I refer to throwing fruits and sweatmeats among the
+audience. Trygæus (Vintner), celebrating a joyous country festival in
+honour of the return of peace and plenty, takes occasion to throw barley
+among the spectators. In another place Dicæpolis, also upon pacific
+deeds intent, establishes a public treat, and calls out, "Let some one
+bring in figs for the little pigs. How they squeak! will they eat them?
+(throws some) Bless me! how they do munch them! from what place do they
+come? I should say from Eaton."
+
+In this scrambling fun there would be good and bad fortune, and much
+laughter would be occasioned, but mostly of an emotional character. Some
+of the jokes of Hegemon, who first introduced dramatic parody, were of a
+similar description, but more unpleasant. On one occasion he came into
+the theatre with his robe full of stones, and began to throw them into
+the orchestra, saying, "These are stones, and let those who will throw
+them." Aristophanes makes great use of that humour which is dependent
+upon awakening hostile and combative feelings. Personal violence and
+threats are with him common stage devices. We have here as much "fist
+sauce," and shaking of sticks, and as many pommellings, boxings of ears,
+and threats of assault and battery as in any modern harlequinade.
+
+Next in order, we come to consider some of the many instances in
+Aristophanes of what may be called optical humour--that in which the
+point principally depends upon the eye. Thus he makes Hercules say he
+cannot restrain his laughter on seeing Bacchus wearing a lion's skin
+over a saffron robe. A Megarian reduced to extremities, determines to
+sell his little daughters as pigs, and disguises them accordingly.[12]
+In the Thesmophoriazusæ, there is a shaving scene, in which the man
+performed upon has his face cut, and runs away, "looking ridiculous with
+only one side of his face shaven." In another play where the ladies have
+stolen the gentlemen's clothes, the latter come on the stage in the
+most ludicrous attire, wearing saffron-coloured robes, kerchiefs, and
+Persian slippers. In another, the chorus is composed of men representing
+wasps, with waists pinched in, bodies striped with black and yellow, and
+long stings behind. The piece ends with three boys disguised as crabs,
+dancing a furious breakdown, while the chorus encourages them with,
+"Come now, let us all make room for them, that they may twirl themselves
+about. Come, oh famous offsprings of your briny father!--skip along the
+sandy shore of the barren sea, ye brothers of shrimps. Twirl, whirl
+round your foot swiftly, and fling up your heels in the air like
+Phrynicus, until the spectators shout aloud! Spin like a top, pass along
+in circle, punch yourself in the stomach, and fling your leg to the sky,
+for the King himself, who rules the sea, approaches, delighted with his
+children!"
+
+The greater the optical element in humour, the lower and more simple it
+becomes, the complexity being more that of the senses than of intellect.
+It may be said there is always some appeal to both, but not in any equal
+proportions, and there is manifestly a great difference between the
+humour of a plough-boy grinning through a horse-collar, and of a sage
+observing that "when the poor man makes the rich a present, he is
+unkind to him." Caricature drawings produce little effect upon educated
+people, unless assisted by a description on which the humour largely
+depends. We can see in a picture that a man has a grotesque figure, or
+is made to represent some other animal; by gesticulation we can
+understand when a person is angry or pleased, or hungry or thirsty; but
+what we gain merely through the senses is not so very far superior to
+that which is obtained by savages or even the lower animals, except
+where there has been special education.
+
+Next to optical humour may be placed acoustic--that of sound--another
+inferior kind. The ear gives less information than the eye. In music
+there is not so much conveyed to the mind as in painting, and although
+it may be lively, it cannot in itself be humorous. We cannot judge of
+the range of hearing by the vast store of information brought by words
+written or spoken, because these are conventional signs, and have no
+optical or acoustic connection with the thing signified. We can
+understand this when we listen to a foreign language.
+
+Hipponax seems to have been the first man who introduced acoustic humour
+by the abrupt variation in his metre. Exclamations and strange sounds
+were found very effective on the stage, and were now frequently
+introduced, especially emanating from slaves to amuse the audience.
+Aristophanes commences the knights with a howling duet between two
+slaves who have been flogged,
+
+"Oh, oh--Oh, oh--Oh, oh--Oh, oh--"
+
+In another play, there is a constant chorus of frogs croaking from the
+infernal marshes.
+
+"Brekekekex, coax, coax, brekekekex, coax, coax."
+
+In "The Birds," the songsters of the woods are frequently heard trilling
+their lays. As they were only befeathered men, this must have been a
+somewhat comic performance. The king of birds, transformed from Tereus,
+King of Thrace, twitters in the following style.
+
+"Epopopopopopopopopopoi! io! io! come, come, come, come, come. Tio, tio,
+tio, tio, tio, tio, tio! trioto, trioto, totobrix! Torotorotorotorolix!
+Ciccabau, ciccabau! Torotorotorotorotililix."
+
+Rapidity of utterance was also aimed at in some parts of the choruses,
+and sometimes very long words had to be pronounced without pause--such
+as green-grocery-market-woman, and garlic-bread-selling-hostesses. At
+the end of the Ecclesiazusæ, there is a word of twenty-seven
+syllables--a receipt for a mixture--as multifarious in its contents as a
+Yorkshire pie.
+
+We may conclude that there was a humour in tone as well as of rhythm in
+fashion before the time of Aristophanes, and we read that there was a
+certain ventriloquist named Eurycles; but Aristophanes must be content
+to bear the reproach of having been the first to introduce punning. He
+probably had accomplices among his contemporaries, but they have been
+lost in obscurity. Playing with words seems to have commenced very
+early. The organs of speech are not able to produce any great number of
+entirely different sounds, as is proved by the paucity of the vowels and
+consonants we possess. To increase the vocabulary, syllables are grouped
+together by rapid utterance, and distinctions of time were made.
+Similarities in the length and flow of words began soon to be noticed,
+and hence arose the idea of parallelism, that is of poetry--a similarity
+of measure. A likeness in the tone of words, in the vowel and consonant
+sounds, was afterwards observed, and became the foundation of punning.
+The difference between rhythm and puns is partly that of degree--and the
+latter were originally regarded as poetical. Simonides of Ceos called
+Jupiter Aristarchus, _i.e._, the best of rulers; and Æschylus spoke of
+Helen as a "hell,"[13] but neither of them intended to be facetious.
+Aristotle ranked such conceits among the ornaments of style; and we do
+not until much later times find them regarded as ludicrous.
+
+With Aristophanes they are humorous, and his ingenuity in representing
+things as the same because their names were so, would not have been
+unworthy of a modern burlesque writer. They, perhaps, were more
+appreciated at that time from their appearing less common and less
+easily made. But there is a worse direction than any above mentioned, in
+which Aristophanes truckled to the low taste of his day. The modern
+reader is shocked and astounded at the immense amount of indelicacy
+contained in his works. It ranges from the mild impropriety of saying
+that a girl dances as nimbly as a flea in a sheepskin, or of naming
+those other industrious little creatures he euphemistically calls
+"Corinthians," to a grand exhibition of the blessings of Peace under the
+form of a young lady, the liberal display of whose charms would have
+petrified a modern Chamberlain. In one place, Trygæus is riding to
+heaven on a dung-beetle, and of course a large fund of amusement is
+obtained from the literal and metaphorical manipulation of its food.
+Socrates' disciples are discovered in a kneeling posture, with their
+heads on the ground. "What are they doing?" inquires the visitor. "They
+are in search of things below the earth." "And why are their backs up in
+the air?" "With them they are studying astronomy."
+
+These passages will give some faint idea, though not an adequate one, of
+the coarseness of Aristophanes' humour. The primitive character of it is
+marked by the fact that the greater portion has no reference to the
+sexes.
+
+It is a crumb of comfort to know that women were not generally present
+at performances of comedies, and Aristotle says that young men should
+not be allowed to attend them until they are old enough to sit at table
+and get drunk. Moreover, to be humorous the comedian must necessarily
+have exceeded the bounds of ordinary usage. Aristophanes occasionally
+deplores the degeneracy of his times,--the youth of the period making
+"rude jests," but his own writings are the principal evidence of this
+depravity. His allusions are not excusable on the ground of ignorance;
+they are intentionally impure. There was once an age of innocence--still
+reflected in childhood, and among some unprogressive races--in which a
+sort of natural darkness hung over the thoughts and actions of men,--but
+it was in reality an age of ignorance. When light broke forth delicacy
+sprang up, and when by degrees one thing after another had been
+forbidden and veiled from sight by the common consent of society, there
+was a large borderland formed outside immorality upon which the
+trespasser could enter and sport; and much could be said which was
+objectionable without giving serious offence. Before the days of
+Aristophanes and the comic performances for which he wrote, very little
+genius or enterprise was directed into the paths of humour, but now
+every part of them was explored. Indelicacy would here afford great
+assistance, from the attraction it possesses for many people and the
+ease with which it is understood. Something perhaps is due to the fact
+that Greece had now reached the highest point of her prosperity, and
+that a certain amount of lawlessness prevailed as her brilliancy began
+to tremble and fade. From whatever cause it arose, Aristophanes stands
+before us as one of the first to introduce this base ornamentation. The
+most remarkable circumstance connected with it is that he assigns a
+large part of his coarse language to women. His object was to amuse a
+not very refined audience, and one that relished something
+preposterous.
+
+Thus Aristophanes lowered his style to the level of his audience, but in
+his brighter moments, forgetting his failings and exigencies, he disowns
+expedients unworthy of the comic art. He says he has not like
+"Phrynicus, Lycis, and Amisias" introduced slaves groaning beneath their
+burdens, or yelping from their stripes; he comes away, "a year older
+from hearing such stage tricks." "It is not becoming," he observes in
+another place for a dramatic poet to throw figs and sweetmeats to the
+spectators to force a laugh, and "we have not two slaves throwing nuts
+from a basket." In _his_ plays "the old man does not belabour the person
+next him with a stick." He claims that he has made his rivals give up
+scoffing at rags and lice, and that he does not indulge in what I have
+termed optical humour. He has not, like some of his contemporaries,
+"jeered at the bald head," and not danced the Cordax. He seems in the
+following passage even to despise animal illustrations--
+
+     _Bdelycleon._ Tell me no fables, but domestic stories about men.
+
+     _Philocleon._ Then I know that very domestic story, "Once on a time
+     there was a mouse and a weazel."
+
+     _Bdel._ "Oh, thou lubberly and ignorant fellow," as Theogenes said
+     when he was abusing the scavenger. Are you going to tell a story of
+     mice and weazels among men?
+
+Like most humorists he blames in one place what he adopts in another.
+
+Plato had so high an opinion of Aristophanes that, in reply to Dionysius
+of Syracuse, he sent him a copy of his plays as affording the best
+picture of the commonwealth of Athens. This philosopher is also said to
+have introduced mimes--a sort of minor comedy--from Sicily, and to have
+esteemed their composer Sophron so highly that he kept a copy of his
+works under his pillow. Plato appreciated humour, was fond of writing
+little amatory couplets, and among the epigrams attributed to him is the
+following dedication of a mirror by a fading beauty, thus rendered by
+Prior:--
+
+  "Venus, take this votive glass,
+   Since I am not what I was!
+   What I shall hereafter be,
+   Venus, let me never see!"
+
+Plato objected to violent laughter as indicative of an impulsive and
+ill-regulated temper, observing "that it is not suitable for men of
+worth, much less for the gods," the first part of which remark shows
+that he was not emotional, and the second that a great improvement in
+critical taste had taken place since the early centuries of Homer and
+David.
+
+As youth is romantic, and old age humorous, so in history sentiment
+precedes criticism and poetry attained a high degree of excellence,
+while humour was in its infancy. Comedy is said to have been produced
+first in Sicily by Susarion in 564 B.C., but we have only two
+or three lines by which to judge of his work, and they are on the old
+favourite topic. "A wife is an evil, but you can't live in a house
+without one." As it is said his wife left him, it must be considered
+doubtful whether this was not meant seriously. He was succeeded by
+Epicharmus, whose humour seems to have been of a very poor description.
+His subjects were mostly mythological, and he was fond of representing
+the gluttony of Hercules, and Bacchus making Vulcan drunk. In the more
+intellectual direction his taste was entirely philosophical, so much so
+that Plato adopted many of his views. We may safely assert that no comic
+performance worthy of the name took place until towards the end of the
+fifth century,[14] though in the meantime the tragic drama had reached
+its highest point of excellence. One _Satyric_ play, so called because
+the chorus was formed of Satyrs, was put on the stage with three
+tragedies by those competing for the dramatic prize. It seems to have
+been mythological and grotesque rather than comic, but in the Cyclops
+of Euripides, the only specimen extant, we have feasting and wine
+drinking, the chorus tells Polyphemus he may swallow any milk he pleases
+so that he does not swallow them--which the Cyclops says he would not do
+because they might be dancing in his stomach--and Silenus recommends the
+Cyclops to eat Ulysses' tongue, as it will make him a clever talker.
+
+After the time of Aristophanes, the literary, and, we may say, the
+social humour of Greece altered. It grew less political as liberty
+became more restricted, and men's minds were gradually diverted by
+business and foreign trade from that philosophical and artistic
+industry, which had made Athens the centre of the world. The brighter
+part of the country's genius descended to effeminate pursuits, and
+employed itself in the development of amorous fancies. In the comedies
+which came into favour, the dramatis personæ represented a strange
+society of opulent old men, spendthrift sons, intriguing slaves, and
+courtezans. If we did not know what temptation there is to make literary
+capital out of the tender passion, we might suppose that the youth of
+that day were entirely occupied in clandestine amours, and in buying and
+selling women as if they were dogs and parrots. No wonder that "to live
+like the Greeks" became a by-word and reproach. Beyond this, the authors
+throw the whole force of their genius into the construction of the plot,
+upon the strength and intricacy of which their success depends; and the
+management of the various threads of the story so as to meet together in
+the conclusion, shows a great improvement in art since the days of
+Aristophanes. Advancing time seems also to have brought a greater
+refinement in language. The indelicacy we now meet with is almost
+entirely of an amatory character, and not quite of so low a description
+as that previously in use. But in quantity it was greater. Philemon, who
+is said to have died from a fit of laughter caused by seeing an ass eat
+figs, wrote much that was objectionable; and Diphilus was probably
+little better. Philemon found coarseness answer, and was more often
+crowned, and a greater favourite than Menander, who is reported to have
+said to him, "Do you not blush to conquer me?" but it may be doubted
+whether even the latter was as free from indelicacy as is generally
+supposed. Plautus and Terence both complain that they cannot find a
+really chaste Greek play.
+
+The age of Greek fables, that is the period when they were in common use
+in writing and conversation, was now drawing to a close. A few remain
+in Callimachus, and Suidas quotes some of perhaps the same date. At this
+time Demetrius Phalareus made a prose collection of what were called
+Æsop's Fables--as we seek to perpetuate the memory of that which is
+passing away. Babrius, also, who performed the same charitable office in
+"halting iambics," like those of Hipponax, may be supposed to have
+flourished about this period, although it has been contended that he was
+a Roman and lived in the Augustan age. However this may be, fabular
+illustrations began to drop out of fashion soon after this time, and by
+degrees were so far disallowed, that the man, who would have related
+such stories, would have been regarded as ludicrous rather than
+humorous. Although Phædrus Romanized Æsop's Fables, and gave them a
+poetical meaning, he never gained any fame or popularity by them.
+Martial calls him "improbus," _i.e._, a rascal.
+
+In these and earlier days, besides the humour exhibited in comedies, a
+considerable amount was displayed at public festivals and private
+entertainments. In the Homeric hymn to Mercury, we read that the god
+extemporized a song, "just as when young men at banquets slily twit each
+other." When the cups flowed, and the conversation sparkled, men
+indulged in repartee, or capped each other in verses. One man, for
+instance, would quote or compose a line beginning and ending with a
+certain letter, and another person was called upon for a similar one to
+complete the couplet. Sometimes the line commenced with the first
+syllable of a word, and ended with the last, and a corresponding conceit
+was to be formed to answer it. The successful competitors at these games
+were to be kissed and crowned with flowers; the unsuccessful to drink a
+bowl of brine. These verbal devices were too simple and far-fetched to
+be humorous, but were, to a certain extent, amusing, and no doubt the
+forfeits and rewards occasioned some merriment.
+
+A coarser kind of humour originated in the market-place, where professed
+wags of a low class were wont to congregate, and amuse themselves by
+chaffing and insulting passers-by. Such men are mentioned centuries
+afterwards by St. Paul as "lewd fellows of the baser sort,"--an
+expression which would be more properly rendered "men of the
+market-place." Such centres of trade do not seem to have been improving
+to the manners, for we read of people "railing like bread-women," and of
+the "rude jests" of the young men of the market.[15] Lysistratus was
+one of these fellows in Aristophanes' days, and his condition seems to
+have been as miserable as his humour, for his garment had "shed its
+leaves,"[16] and he was shivering and starving "more than thirty days in
+the month."
+
+By degrees, as wealth increased, there came a greater demand for
+amusement. Jesters obtained patrons, and a distinct class of men grew
+up, who, having more humour than means were glad to barter their
+pleasantries for something more substantial. Wit has as little tendency
+to enrich its possessor as genius--the mind being turned to gay and idle
+rather than remunerative pursuits, and into a destructive rather than a
+constructive channel. Talent does not imply industry, and where the
+stock in trade consists of luxuries of small money value, men make but a
+precarious livelihood. One of them says that he will give as a fortune
+to his daughter "six hundred _bon mots_--all pure Attic," which seems to
+suggest that they were to be puns. No doubt it was the demand that led
+to the supply, for jesters were in request at convivial meetings, and
+the jealousy of their equally poor, but less amusing neighbours, not
+improbably led to some of the ill-natured reflections upon them. Society
+was to blame for encouraging the parasite, who seems to have become an
+institution in Greece. He is not mentioned by Aristophanes, but figures
+constantly in the plays of later writers, where he is a smooth-tongued
+witty varlet, whose aim is to make himself agreeable, and who is ready
+to submit to any humiliation in order to live at other people's expense.
+Thus Gelasimus--so called, as he avers, because his mother was a
+droll--laments the changed times. He liked the old forms of expression,
+"Come to dinner--make no excuse;" but now it is always, "I'd invite you,
+only I'm engaged myself." In another place a parasite's stomach is
+called a "bottomless pit," and they are said to "live on their juices"
+while their patrons are away in the country. Their servility was, of
+course, exaggerated in comedy to make humorous capital, but as they were
+poor and of inferior social standing to those with whom they consorted,
+they were sure occasionally to suffer indignities varying in proportion
+to the bad taste and insolence of their patrons. Thus we read that they
+not only sat on benches at the lower end of the table, but sometimes had
+their faces daubed and their ears boxed. In the ambiguous position they
+occupied, they were no doubt exposed to temptations, but we are not to
+suppose that they were generally guilty of such short-sighted treachery
+as that attributed to them by the dramatists. Still, they certainly were
+in bad repute in their generation, and hence we are enabled to
+understand Aristotle's observation that he who is deficient in humour is
+a boor, but he who is in culpable excess is a _bomolochos_, or thorough
+scoundrel. He would connect the idea of great jocosity with unprincipled
+designs.
+
+Philoxenus, had a more independent spirit than most parasites, and the
+history of his sojourn in Syracuse gives us an amusing insight into the
+state of Court life in Sicily 400 years B.C. He was an Athenian
+dithyrambic poet and musician; and as Dionysius affected literature, he
+was welcomed at his palace, where he wrote a poem entitled "The
+Banquet," containing an account of the luxurious style of living there
+adopted. Philoxenus was probably the least esteemed guest at these
+feasts, of which, but for him no record would survive. He was a man of
+humour, and some instances of his quaintness remain. On one occasion,
+when supping with the tyrant, a small mullet was placed before him, and
+a large one before Dionysius. He thereupon took up his fish and placed
+it to his ear. Dionysius asked him why he did so, to which he replied
+that he was writing a poem, called "Galatæa," and wanted to hear some
+news from the kingdom of Nereus. "The fish given to him," he added,
+"knew nothing about it, because it had been caught so young; but no
+doubt that set before Dionysius would know everything." The tyrant, we
+are told, laughed and sent him his mullet. As might have been
+anticipated, he soon greatly offended Dionysius, who actually sent him
+to work in the stone-quarries; but the cause of his misfortune is
+uncertain. Athenæus attributes it to his falling in love with a
+favourite "flute-girl" of Dionysius, and says that in his "Galatæa," he
+caricatured his rival as the Cyclops. According to another account, his
+disgrace was owing to his having, when asked to revise one of Dionysius'
+poetical compositions, crossed out the whole of it from beginning to
+end. He was, however, restored to favour, and seated once more at the
+royal table; but, unfortunately, the tyrant had again been perpetrating
+poetry, and recited some of his verses, which were loudly applauded by
+all the courtiers. Philoxenus was called upon to join in the
+commendation, but instead of complying, he cried out to the guards,
+"Take me back to the quarries." Dionysius, took the joke and pardoned
+him. He afterwards left the Syracusan Court, and went to his native
+place, Cythera; and it was characteristic of his bluntness and wit,
+that, on being invited by the tyrant to return, he replied by only one
+letter of the alphabet signifying "NO."
+
+And now a most grotesque figure stands before us--it is that of
+Diogenes, who was a youth at the time of Aristophanes' successes, and
+was, no doubt by many, classed with those rude idlers of the
+market-place of whom we have already spoken. Some people have questioned
+his claim to be regarded as a philosopher. He does not appear to have
+been learned, or deeply read; but he was meditative and observant, and
+that which in an anchorite, or hermit, would have been a mere sentiment,
+and in an ordinary man a vague and occasional reflection, expanded in
+his mind into a general and practical view of life. Observing that the
+things we covet are not only difficult of attainment, but unsatisfactory
+in possession, he thought to solve the problem of life by substituting
+contempt for admiration. He was, probably, somewhat influenced by his
+own condition in this vain attempt to draw sweetness from sour grapes.
+He was poor, and we find that this despiser of the goods of this world,
+who considered money to be the "metropolis of all evils"--in his youth
+coined false money, and was banished to Sinope in consequence. Among his
+recorded sayings, he expresses his surprise that the slaves attending
+at banquets could keep their hands off their master's dainties.
+
+But we should be doing Diogenes an injustice, if we set him down as a
+mere discontented misanthrope. In giving due weight to unworthy motives,
+we have looked only at one side--and that the worst--of his character.
+His mind was of an inquiring speculative cast, and in youth he aspired
+to join the disciples of Zeno. So persistent indeed was he that the
+stoic, unwilling to have such a questionable pupil, one day forgot his
+serene philosophy, and set upon him with a cudgel. Such arguments did
+not tend to soften Diogenes' disposition, and although he accused man of
+folly rather than malignity, he went so far to say that a man should
+have "reason or a rope." He probably thought it easier than Democritus
+to follow wisdom, because he did not see quite so far. Still he showed
+that he took an interest in social life, and had he been less of a
+moralist, he would have had better claims to be regarded as a "wit" than
+any other character in Grecian history. Many examples could be adduced
+in which his principal object was evidently to be amusing:--
+
+Entering a school in which he saw many statues of the Muses, but few
+pupils, "You have many scholars among the gods," he said to the master.
+On being asked at what time it was proper to dine, "If you are rich,
+when you will; if poor, when you can," he replied, perhaps a little
+sadly; and to "What wine do you like to drink?" he quickly responded
+"Another man's." Meeting one, Anaximenes, a very fat man, he called out,
+"Give us poor fellows some of your stomach; it will be a great relief to
+you, and an advantage to us."
+
+That Diogenes recognised humour as a means of drawing attention and
+impressing the memory, is shown by the story that on one occasion, when
+he was speaking seriously and found no one attending, he began to
+imitate the singing of birds, and when he had thus collected a crowd,
+told them they were ready to hear folly but not wisdom. There was also,
+probably, in adopting this form a desire to preclude the possibility of
+his being contradicted. He was thus proof against criticism--if his
+statements were said to be false--well, they were intended to be so;
+while, if they raised a laugh, there was an admission that they
+contained some seeds of truth. The following are examples of his
+disguised wisdom:--
+
+On being asked when a man should marry, "A young man not yet; an old man
+not at all," he replied. "Why men gave money to beggars and not to
+philosophers?" "Because they think they may themselves become blind and
+lame, but never philosophers." When Perdiccas threatened that unless he
+came to him he would kill him, "You would do no great thing," he
+replied, "even a beetle or a spider could do that."
+
+We can scarcely suppose that all the sayings attributed to Diogenes are
+genuine. There has always been a tendency to attribute to great men
+observations made in accordance with their manner.
+
+Philosophers have generally been to a certain extent destructive, and
+seldom spared the religion of their times. Diogenes, who was called
+"Socrates gone mad," was no exception to this rule. Humour, which is
+seasoned with profanity, is most telling when there is not too large an
+amount either of faith or scepticism; very few could find any amusement
+in the sneers of an utter infidel. Diogenes was almost as deficient in
+ordinary religious belief as in most other kinds of veneration.
+Sometimes he may have had the good effect of checking the abuse of
+sacerdotal power, as when he observed to some who were admiring the
+thank offerings at Samothracia, "There would have been many more, had
+those made them, who had not been cured." He also said that the
+Dionysian festival was a great sight for fools, and that when he heard
+prophets and interpreters of dreams, he thought nothing was so silly as
+man. His blaming men for making prayers, because they asked not that
+which was good, but only what seemed desirable to them, may be taken in
+a favourable sense.
+
+Before the end of Diogenes' life fanciful conceits became so much
+appreciated in Greece, that a regular "Court of Humour" was held at
+Heracleum, a village near Athens, and it is to be feared that many of
+the racy sayings attributed to eminent men, originated in the sessions
+of this jocund assembly. It was composed of sixty members, and their
+sayings came forth with the stamp of "The Sixty" upon them. Their
+reputation became so great, that Philip of Macedon gave them a talent to
+write out their jokes, and send them to him. He was himself fond of
+gaiety, invented some musical instruments, and kept professed jesters.
+
+Soon after this time, we read of amateur jesters or rather practical
+jesters called _planoi_. Chrysippus, who was not only a philosopher, but
+a man of humour--a union we are not surprised to find common at that
+date--and who is said, perhaps with equal truth, to have died like
+Philemon in a fit of laughter, on seeing an ass eat figs off a silver
+plate--mentions a genius of this kind, one Pantaleon, who, when at the
+point of death told each of his sons separately that he confided to him
+alone the place where he had buried his gold. When he was dead, they all
+betook themselves to the same spot, where they laboured for some time,
+before discovering that they had all been deceived.
+
+From this period we are mostly indebted to epigrams for any knowledge of
+Greek humour. They originated in inscriptions or offerings in temples;
+afterwards came to be principally epitaphial or sarcastic; and grew into
+a branch of literature.
+
+We can scarcely understand some of the fancies indulged in at the time,
+which contain no salt at all--"Sports," Hephæstio calls them. Of these
+devices may be mentioned the "Wings of Love" by Simmias, a Rhodian, who
+lived before 300 B.C. The verses are graduated so as to form a
+pair of wings. "The first altar," written by Dosiadas of Rhodes, is the
+earliest instance of a Greek acrostic, or of any one which formed words.
+An acrostic is a play upon spelling, as a pun is upon sound; and in both
+cases the complication is too slight for real humour. They are rather to
+be considered as ingenious works of fancy. The first specimens are those
+in the Psalms--twelve of which have twenty-two verses beginning with the
+twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet. The 119th Psalm is a curious
+specimen of this conceit; it is divided into twenty-two stanzas, and a
+letter of the alphabet in regular order begins each of them. The initial
+letters of "The First Altar" of Dosiadas of Rhodes, form four words, and
+seem to be addressed to some "Olympian," who, the dedicator hopes "may
+live to offer sacrifice for many years." The altar states that it is not
+stained with the blood of victims, nor perfumed with frankincense, that
+it is not made of gold and silver; but formed by the hand of the Graces
+and the Muses. In the "Second Altar," also usually attributed to
+Dosiadas of Rhodes, we find not only a fanciful outline formed by long
+and short verses, but also a studious avoidance of proper names. Not one
+is mentioned, although thirteen persons are designated. It is evident
+that this "Altar" was a work of ingenuity, and intended to be
+enigmatical. Probably the substitutions were also considered to be
+somewhat playful and amusing, as in Antiphanes--a comic poet, said to
+have died from an apple falling on his head--we read,
+
+  _A._ Shall I speak of rosy sweat
+       From Bacchic spring?
+
+  _B._ I'd rather you'd say wine.
+
+  _A._ Or shall I speak of dusky dewy drops?
+
+  _B._ No such long periphrasis--say plainly water.
+
+  _A._ Or shall I praise the cassia breathing fragrance
+       That scents the air.
+
+  _B._ No, call it myrrh.
+
+Another conceit in the form of a Sphinx or Pandean pipe has been
+attributed to Theocritus--perhaps without good foundation.
+
+In the "Egg" there is not only the form of the lines, which gradually
+expand and then taper downwards, but there is also a great amount of
+similitude--the literary egg being compared to a real egg, and the poet
+to the nightingale that laid it. There is also a remarkable involution
+in form--the last line succeeding the first, and so on; and this
+alternation of the verses is compared to the leaping of fawns. The Axe
+or Hatchet is apparently a sort of double axe, being nearly in the form
+of wings; and is supposed to be a dedicatory inscription written to
+Minerva on the axe of Epeus, who made the wooden horse by which Troy was
+taken.
+
+The ancient riddles seem to have been generally of a descriptive
+character, and not to have turned upon quibbles of words, like those of
+the present day. They more corresponded to our enigmas--being
+emblematic--and in general were small tests of ingenuity, some being
+very simple, others obscure from requiring special knowledge or from
+being a mere vague description of things. Of the learned kind were
+doubtless those hard questions with which the Queen of Sheba proved
+Solomon, and those with which, on the authority of Dius and Menander,
+Josephus states Solomon to have contended with Hiram. The riddle of
+Samson also required special information; and the same characteristics
+which marked the early riddles of Asia, where the conceit seems to have
+originated, is also found in those of Greece. Who could have guessed the
+following "Griphus" from Simonides of Ceos, without local knowledge, or
+with it, could have failed,
+
+  "I say that he who does not like to win
+   The grasshopper's prize, will give a mighty feast,
+   To the Panopeiadean Epeus."
+
+This means, we are told, that when Simonides was at Carthea he used to
+train choruses, and there was an ass to fetch water for them. He called
+the ass "Epeus," after the water-carrier of the Atridae; and if any
+member of the chorus was not present to sing, _i.e._, to win the
+grasshopper's prize, he was to give a choenix of barley to the ass.
+Well might Clearchus say "the investigation of riddles is not
+unconnected with philosophy, for the ancients used to display their
+erudition in such things."
+
+Somewhat of the same character is found in the following from
+Aristophanes.
+
+     _People._ How is a trireme a "dog fox?"
+
+     _Sausage Seller._ Because the trireme and the dog are swift.
+
+     _People._ But why fox?
+
+     _Sausage Seller._ The soldiers are little foxes, for they eat up
+     the grapes in the farms.
+
+The simplicity of some of the ancient riddles may be conjectured from
+the fact that the same word "griphus" included such conceits as verses
+beginning and ending with a certain letter or syllable.
+
+An instance of the emblematic character of early riddles is seen in that
+proposed by the Sphinx to OEdipus. "What is that which goes on four
+legs in the morning, on two in the middle of the day, and on three in
+the evening?" And in the riddle of Cleobulus, one of the seven wise men:
+
+"There was a father, and he had twelve daughters; each of his daughters
+had thirty children; some were white and others black, and though
+immortal they all taste of death."
+
+Also in the following griphi, which are capable of receiving more than
+one answer.
+
+The first two are respectively by Eubulus and Alexis--writers of the
+"New Comedy"--who flourished in the first half of the 4th century,
+B.C.
+
+  "I know a thing, which while it's young is heavy,
+   But when it's old, though void of wings, can fly,
+   With lightest motion out of sight of earth.
+
+  "It is not mortal or immortal either
+   But as it were compounded of the two,
+   So that it neither lives the life of man
+   Nor yet of god, but is incessantly
+   New born again, and then again
+   Of this its present life invisible,
+   Yet it is known and recognised by all."
+
+From Hermippus:--
+
+  "There are two sisters, one of whom brings forth,
+   The other and in turn becomes her daughter."
+
+Diphilus, in his Theseus, says, there were once three Samian damsels,
+who on the day of the festival of Adonis delighted themselves with
+riddles. One of them proposed, "What is the strongest of all things?"
+Another answered, "Iron, because it is that with which men dig and cut."
+The third said, "The blacksmith, for he bends and fashions the iron."
+But the first replied, "Love, for it can subdue the blacksmith himself."
+
+The following is from Theadectes, a pupil of Isocrates, who lived about
+300 B.C., and wrote fifty tragedies--none of which survive.
+
+  "Nothing which earth or sea produces,
+   Nought among mortals hath so great increase.
+   In its first birth the largest it appears,
+   Small in its prime, and in old age again,
+   In form and size it far surpasses all."[17]
+
+To make a riddle, that is a real test of ingenuity for all, and which
+but one answer satisfies, shows an advanced stage of the art. The
+ancient riddles were almost invariably symbolical, and either too vague
+or too learned. They seem to us not to have sufficient point to be
+humorous, but no doubt they were thought so in their day.
+
+It may not be out of place here to advert to those light compositions
+called Silli, about which we have no clear information, even with regard
+to the meaning of the name. From the fragments of them extant, we find
+that they were written in verse, and contained a considerable amount of
+poetical sentiment; indeed, all that has come down to us of Xenophanes,
+the first sillographer, is of this character. We are told that he used
+parody, but his pleasantry, probably, consisted much of after-dinner
+jests and stories, for we find that although he praises wisdom, and
+despises the fashionable athletic games, he rejoiced in sumptuous
+banquets, and said that the water should first be poured into the cup,
+then the wine. But the most celebrated sillographer was Timon the
+Phliasian--intimate with Antigonus and Ptolemy Philadelphus--who wrote
+three books of Silli, two in dialogues, and one in continuous narrative.
+He was a philosopher, and the principal object of his work was to bring
+other sects into ridicule and discredit. A few reflections of general
+application are scattered through it, but they are in general quite
+subsidiary and suggested by the subject matter.
+
+
+
+
+PART III.
+
+ROMAN HUMOUR.
+
+Roman Comedy--Plautus--Acerbity--Terence--Satire--Lucilius--Horace--Humour
+  of the Cæsar Family--Cicero--Augustus--Persius--Petronius--Juvenal
+  --Martial--Epigrammatist--Lucian--Apuleius--Julian the Apostate--The
+  Misopogon--Symposius' Enigmas--Macrobius--Hierocles and Philagrius.
+
+
+The light of genius which shone in Greece was to some extent reflected
+upon Rome, where there was never an equal brilliancy. As for humour,
+such as was indigenous in the country, it was only represented by a few
+Saturnian snatches, some Fescennine banterings at weddings and
+harvest-homes, and rude pantomimic performances also originating in
+Etruria. Intellectual pleasantry was unknown, except as an exotic, and
+flourished almost exclusively among those who were imbued with the
+literature of Greece.
+
+About the date at which we arrived at the end of the last chapter--the
+middle of the third century, B.C.--the first regular play was
+introduced at Rome by Livius Andronicus. He was a Greek slave, having
+been taken prisoner at the capture of Tarentum. Scarcely anything
+remains by which to judge of his writings, but we know that he copied
+from Greek originals. His plays were, no doubt, mostly appreciated by
+the better educated classes of the audience. He had a rival in
+Noevius, a Campanian by birth, who also copied from the Greek, but
+retained something of the Fescennine licence, or rather, we should say,
+had much of the hostile humour common to the earlier periods of Greece
+and Rome. So violent were his attacks upon the leading men of the day,
+that he was imprisoned, and finally died in exile at Utica. This early
+connection of comedy with abuse and buffoonery was probably one cause of
+professional actors being held in contempt in Rome. We read that they
+were frequently slaves, who were whipped if they came late. At the same
+time native scurrility was allowed. Freeborn Romans might act for
+amusement in the Atellane plays, which were considered to be Italian,
+and were accompanied by broad "Exodia" or pantomimic interludes
+containing regular characters such as Maccus the clown, Buccones the
+chatterers, Pappus the pantaloon, and Simus, the ape. But these
+productions came from Campania, and it is probable that the better
+parts of them were Greek in spirit, though not in form.
+
+Some fifty years later brings us to Plautus--the most remarkable of the
+Roman comic writers. Little is known of his origin, except that he was
+born in Umbria. There is a story that at one time he was in so humble a
+position that he was employed in grinding corn for a baker; but, if so,
+he must have possessed extraordinary ability and perseverance to acquire
+such a thorough knowledge of Greek and Latin. The fact of his adopting
+the stage as a profession, and acting in his own dramas, proves that he
+was not encumbered with rank or wealth. His plays were numbered among
+the classics, and were produced upon the stage till the time of
+Diocletian, five hundred years after his death; he generally copied from
+the Greek, often naming the author to whom he was indebted.
+
+Plautus is interesting, not only as giving us an insight into the Greek
+mode of life before his time, and preserving many of the works of
+Philemon, Diphilus, and others, but as being the only Latin writer of
+his date whose productions have survived. He wrote one hundred and
+thirty plays, of which thirty are extant, and show an orthography very
+different from that of the Augustan age. His style was forcible, and
+like that of all the Latin comic writers, highly complex. He sometimes
+coins words, (such as Trifurcifur, gugga,[18] parenticida,) and he is
+constantly giving new metaphorical senses to those already in use--as
+when he speaks of a man being a "hell of elms," _i.e._, severely flogged
+with elm-rods--calls cooks "briars," because they take fast hold of
+everything they touch, and threatens a slave with "memorials of oxen,"
+_i.e._, a thrashing that will make him remember the thong.
+
+We may possibly trace the Greek original in a few references to
+conversations of animals--although no plays are now called after
+them--and the names, places, and money he introduces are generally
+Greek. Still, we cannot regard him as a mere servile imitator--much of
+his own genius is doubtless preserved in the plays. In some, we can
+clearly recognise his hand, as where he alludes to Roman customs, or
+indulges in puns. For instance, where a man speaks of the blessing of
+having children, (liberi,) another observes he would rather be _free_
+(liber). In "The Churl," we read that it is better to fight with minæ
+than with menaces, and a lover says that Phronesium has expelled her own
+name (wisdom) from his breast.
+
+An old man says he has begun to go to school again, and learn his
+letters. "I know three already," he continues, "What three?" is asked,
+"A M O."
+
+While we are glad to mark an advancement in less pleasures being derived
+from personal threats and conflicts on the stage, we are pained to find
+such an entire want of sympathy with the sufferings of those in a
+servile condition. The severity with which slaves were treated in
+previous times was not mitigated under the Roman rule, and at the
+present day it is difficult to realise the moral state of those who
+could derive amusement from hearing men threatened with bull-hidings,
+and flogged on the stage. Such terms as "whip-knave" became stale from
+repetition, and so many jokes were made even about crucifixion, that we
+might suppose it to be a very trifling punishment. Chrysalus, a slave,
+facetiously observes, that when his master discovers he has spent his
+gold, he will make him "cruscisalus" _i.e._ "cross jumper." In "The
+Haunted House," Tranio, who, certainly seems to have been a great scamp,
+soliloquises as follows on hearing of his master's return:--
+
+"Is there any one, who would like to gain a little money, who could
+endure this day to take my place in being tortured? Who are those
+fellows hardened to a flogging, who wear out iron chains, or those who
+for three didrachmas[19] would get beneath besieging towers, where they
+might have their bodies pierced with fifteen spears? I'll give a talent
+to that man who shall be the first to run to the cross for me, but on
+condition that his feet and arms are doubly fastened there. When that is
+done, then ask the money of me."
+
+Acoustic humour appears not only in puns, but under the form of long
+names of which Plautus was especially fond, Periplecomenus,
+Polymacharoplagides, and Thesaurochrysonicocræ are specimens of his
+inventive genius in this direction.
+
+In the "Three Coins," Charmides asks the sharper's name.
+
+     _Sh._ You demand an arduous task.
+
+     _Charmides._ How so?
+
+     _Sh._ Because if you were to begin before daylight at the first
+     part of my name 'twould be dead of night before you could reach the
+     end of it. I have another somewhat less, about the size of a wine
+     cask.
+
+In the "Persian," Toxilus gives his name as follows,
+
+  "Vaniloquidorus Virginisvendonides
+   Nugipolyloquides Argentiexterebronides
+   Tedigniloquides Nummorumexpalponides
+       Quodsemelarripides
+       Nunquamposteareddides."
+
+There are a few other cases in which there is a playing upon sound, as
+where Demipho remarks that if he had such a good-looking girl as
+Pasicompsa for a servant, all the people would be "staring, gazing,
+nodding, winking, hissing, twitching, crying, annoying, and serenading."
+
+The failings of the fair seems always to have been a favourite subject
+for men's attack, but reflections of this kind have decreased in number
+and acerbity since the days of Aristophanes. We find, however, some in
+Plautus, such as the following:--
+
+"Love is a fawning flatterer. For he that is in love, soon as ever he
+has been smitten with the kisses of the object he loves, forthwith his
+substance vanishes out of doors, and melts away. 'Give me this, my
+honey, if you love me.' And then Gudgeon says, 'Oh apple of my eye, both
+that and still more, if you wish.' He who plunges into love perishes
+more dreadfully than if he leapt from a rock. Away with you, Love, if
+you please."
+
+He is fully alive to the power of this destructive passion. In one place
+Philolaches half mad with love and jealousy sees his mistress looking
+into a mirror. "Ah, wretched me," he exclaims passionately, "she gave
+the mirror a kiss. I wish I had a stone to break the head of that
+mirror."[20]
+
+The love of money has always been a stock subject with humorists. This
+common weakness of human nature can be played upon even by those who can
+produce no other wit, and many worse jokes have been made on it than the
+following,--
+
+Calidorus asks his servant, Pseudolus, to lend him a drachma.
+
+     _P._ What for?
+
+     _C._ To buy a rope to hang myself.
+
+     _P._ Who then will pay me back? Do you wish to hang yourself to
+     cheat me out of my drachma?
+
+The "Concealed Treasure" turns on an old man having found a pot of gold.
+He conceals it, and his nervousness lest some one should discover it is
+brought out with excellent humour. He drives the cooks out of the place
+with his stick. He has a battle-royal with a dunghill cock, who, he
+imagines is trying to scratch for it, then thinks Strobilus has stolen
+it, and calls on him to show one hand, and the other, and then the
+third.
+
+We are the more inclined to lament the utter destruction of ancient
+African literature on finding that the most refined Roman dramas were
+placed upon the stage by a Carthaginian, when Plautus, whose enterprize
+and perseverance had given the great impetus to Latin comedy, was
+approaching the end of his long life. Terence was born the last, and as
+some think the greatest master in this branch of Art. He was at one time
+a slave, but his literary talent was so remarkable that his master set
+him free, and he became the friend of distinguished men, especially of
+Scipio the younger. It must seem strange that this brilliancy should
+have flashed up for a moment, and then been for ever quenched, but it
+was derived from Greece and not in its nature enduring. The genius of
+Menander fed the flame of Terence, as that of Diphilus and others gave
+power to Plautus, and it may well be supposed that men of their talent
+appropriated all that was most excellent, and left their successors to
+draw from inferior sources. It may, moreover, be doubted, whether the
+regular drama was ever popular among the lower classes in Rome, who
+preferred the more exciting scenes of the circus. Such plays as were
+intended for them were coarser and more sensational.
+
+Terence has not the rough power and drollery of Plautus; his whole
+attraction lies in the subtlety of his amorous intrigues. Steele,
+speaking of one of the plays, "The Self-Tormentor," observes, "It is
+from the beginning to the end a perfect picture of human life, but I did
+not observe in the whole one passage that could possibly raise a laugh."
+It was for this reason, no doubt, that Cæsar spoke of him as only "half
+a Menander," and as deficient in comic force. Ingenious complexity is so
+exclusively his aim, that we have neither the coarseness nor the sparkle
+of earlier writers. He was the first to introduce Comedies, which were
+not comic, and whatever humour he introduces is that of situation.
+
+We now come to consider a kind of humour of which the Romans claim to
+have been the originators, and which they certainly developed into a
+branch of literature. Satire first signified a basket of first fruits
+offered to Ceres; then a hotchpot or olla podrida, then a medley; and so
+the name was given to poems written without any definite design. We
+might therefore conclude that they possessed no uniform character, but
+merely contained a mixture of miscellaneous matter. But we find in them
+no allusions to politics or war, and but few to the literature and
+philosophy of the day--their variety being due to their social
+complexion. One feeling and character pervades them all--they were
+called forth by a scornful indignation at the degeneracy of the age as
+represented by the rich and powerful, or even by certain leading
+individuals. The appearance of such a kind of literature denoted greater
+activity in society, an increase of profligacy among some, and of moral
+sensibility among others. Satire was a social scourge. It was not a
+philosophical investigation into the nature and origin of vice, but a
+denunciation of it as inimical to the interests of society. It was
+practical not theoretical--and sought to bring vice into contempt, by
+making it both odious and ridiculous. In the latter attempt, the
+satirists may have had more success than we credit them with, for in our
+day such virulent attacks would be distasteful, immorality being
+regarded as essentially a matter for grave and serious condemnation.
+Satire differs from abuse, not only in being declamatory, but in being
+deserved. The amusement in it mostly depends upon the deformity of the
+sensual, the failures of the wicked, and the exposure of guilt in a kind
+of moral pillory. It did not aim at mere accidental losses or
+imperfections, and made no fanciful accusations merely to amuse, but it
+was often lightened by metaphor, by coined words, and especially by
+exaggeration.
+
+The satire of Rome, though in a certain sense new, seems to have been
+somewhat derived from Greece. Ennius, who commenced it, a man younger
+than Plautus and older than Terence, was himself half a Greek. He wrote
+epic poems and comedies, and also introduced this comic literature for
+private reading. Lucilius, who was the first eminent Roman satirist, is
+said to have imitated the old Greek comedies. His attacks are very
+severe and personal, reminding us a little of Archilochus, though
+apparently not written to gratify any private spleen. The tendency to
+personalities marked a time when the range of society and the tone of
+thought were equally narrow. Moral depravity was considered to be
+centred in a few individuals, and in the broken fragments of Lucilius'
+rage, which have descended to us, we find a man stigmatised as an
+"ulcer," "gangrene," a "poison," "jibber," "shuffler," "a hard-mouthed
+obstinate brute." Sometimes he ridicules the bodily infirmities of the
+depraved; but Lucilius' attacks seem less ill-natured and more justly
+humorous from being always directed against the vicious and demoralised.
+Occasionally he indulges in such uncomplimentary expressions as "There
+is no flummery-maker equal to you," while some are hailed with "Long
+life to you, glutton, gormandizer, and belly-god." He might truly say in
+his metaphorical language, "I seize his beak and smash his lips,
+Zopyrus' fashion, and knock out all his front teeth."
+
+The satire of Horace was exceptionally mild; with him its social
+character was much more marked than its acerbity. In many places he
+shows Greek reflections, for he had received a liberal education, duly
+completed at Athens. But his philosophy did not consist of dreamy
+theories and arbitrary rules--it was directed to practical ends, to the
+harmonizing of the feelings, and the elevation of society. As a man of
+the world, he was not carried away by fancies, nor given to exaggerated
+views; and as a companion of the great, he was not inclined to inveigh
+bitterly against the degeneracy of the times. On the contrary, so kindly
+were his feelings, that he tells us that we should overlook the vices of
+our friends. His teaching, both in spirit and range, was broader than
+that of his predecessors; his shafts were directed against classes
+rather than individuals, and wherever he is more pointed, his object is
+not to gratify personal spite, but to make his warning more forcible by
+illustration. Moreover, his names are generally unreal. In this way he
+attacks Nasidienus on the excessive luxury of the table, and his advice
+was applicable not only to the rich and great, but to more ordinary men.
+Thus, he shows the bad tendencies of avarice and love-intrigues, and the
+meanness of sycophantism and legacy-hunting. Many of the faults he
+condemns are rather errors in taste than serious moral delinquencies.
+Sometimes he criticises merely trivial matters, such as a costume or a
+scent. "Rufillus smells all perfumes, Gorgonius like a goat," and the
+most humorous of his pieces is that in which he ridicules the ignorance
+and impudence of a manoeuvring chatterer. But in this line he is not
+very successful, and his contests of rival jesters are as much beneath
+the notice of any good writer of the present day, as his account is of
+Porcius, the jack-pudding "swallowing cakes whole."
+
+Horace says that men are more impervious to slashing reproach than to
+fine ridicule, and he was unusually adroit in hitting foibles without
+inflicting pain. He was not a man who held strong opinions on subjects.
+This is especially evident where he speaks of his own fickleness; and
+while he reiterates his dislike of Rome, with its noise and bustle, he
+makes his slave say that this is but affectation, and when an invitation
+comes from Mecænas, "Mulvius and the 'scurræ' are turned out," from
+which we learn that parasites had their parasites, and that Horace in
+the country played the patron to the rustic wits.
+
+Although the Romans generally have no claim to be called a humorous
+people, many of them became celebrated for their talent in repartee.
+Scipio Africanus Æmilianus above mentioned, was remarkable in this way,
+as was Crassus, Granius, Vargula, and others. There was a good old joke
+that Nasica having called at the house of the poet Ennius, and the
+maid-servant having told him that Ennius was not at home, he perceived
+she had said so by her master's order; and when, a few days afterwards,
+Ennius called at Nasica's house, and inquired for him, Nasica cried out
+that he was "not at home." "What!" says Ennius, "do I not know your
+voice?" "You are an impudent fellow," replied Nasica, "I believed your
+servant when she said you were not at home, and you will not believe
+me."
+
+A vein of humour seems to have run through the Cæsar family. Caius
+Julius Cæsar Strabo Vopiscus was so noted for the gift that Cicero in
+his work on Oratory makes him deliver his observations on the subject.
+Julius Cæsar himself was as remarkable for pleasantry as for clemency.
+His "Veni, vidi, vici," in which his enemies saw so much arrogance, was
+no doubt intended and understood by his friends to be humorous. In his
+youth he was accused of effeminate habits, and when on his obtaining the
+entire command of Gaul, he said that he would now make his enemies his
+suppliants, and a senator replied sarcastically, "That will not be an
+easy task for a woman." He rejoined with gaiety, "Semiramis reigned in
+Assyria, and the Amazons possessed a great part of Asia." We have
+already seen him lamenting over the loss of comic force in Terence as
+compared with Menander, and in the triumphal games given in his honour
+in the year 45, he commanded Decimus Laberius, though a man of sixty, to
+appear on the stage in the contest of wit. This knight was a composer of
+mimes--a light kind of comedy, somewhat to be compared to the
+"entertainments" given by humorists at the present day. Julius Cæsar
+obliged him to perform in person--an act of degradation--but afterwards
+gave him 500,000 sesterces, and restored him to his rank. This act of
+Cæsar's has been regarded as having a political significance, but it may
+merely have shown his love of humour. He may have wished to bring out
+the talent of the new mime, Publius, a young Syrian, who had acquired
+great celebrity both for beauty and wit. It is said that when his master
+first took Publius to see his patron, the latter observed one of his
+slaves, who was dropsical, lying in the sunshine, and asking him angrily
+what he was doing there, Publius answered for him "Warming water." On
+the same visit, in jesting after supper, the question was asked, "What
+is a disagreeable repose?" When many had attempted answers, Publius
+replied, "That of gouty feet."
+
+Some of the sayings of Publius, have been preserved.
+
+"He receives a benefit who gives to a worthy person."
+
+"He to whom more than is just is allowed, wishes for more than he gets."
+
+"A man who talks well on the road is as good as a carriage."
+
+"He unjustly accuses Neptune who is ship-wrecked twice."
+
+"By overlooking an old injury you invite a new one."
+
+These sayings are of a worldly-wise and proverbial character, and,
+therefore, as has been already observed, although not actually humorous,
+are easily capable of being so regarded.
+
+Cæsar awarded the prize to Publius instead of Laberius, because, as it
+is supposed, of some reflections the latter made upon him. But it may
+have been that Cæsar was right, and Publius' wit was the most salient.
+
+Scarcely any specimens remain of Laberius' talent. Aulus Gellius says
+that he coined many strange words, and he seems to have made
+considerable use of alliteration.
+
+We may suppose that the humour of Cicero was somewhat hereditary, for he
+records a saying of his grandfather that "the men of our time are like
+Syrian slaves; the more Greek they know, the greater knaves they are!"
+It is fortunate the grandson inherited the old man's wit without his
+plebeian prejudices, and became as celebrated for his culture as for his
+readiness. In his work entitled "The Orator," he commends humour as a
+means of gaining influence, and a vehicle for moral instruction.
+"Orators," he says, "joke with an object, not to appear jesters, but to
+obtain some advantage." But we may feel sure he did not keep this dry
+and profitable end always in view, for he wrote a jest-book, and was
+nick-named by his enemies "Scurra Consularis,"[21] the consular buffoon.
+
+A man can scarcely have a talent for humour without being conscious of
+its fascination, and being sometimes led away by it--as Cicero says, "it
+pleases the listeners"--but he need not therefore descend to buffoonery.
+We should not be inclined to accuse a man of that, who tells us that "a
+regard to proper times, moderation and forbearance in jesting, and a
+limitation in the number of jokes, will distinguish the orator from the
+buffoon;" who says that "indelicacy is a disgrace, not only to the
+forum, but to any company of well-bred people," and that neither great
+vice nor great misery is a subject for ridicule. From all this we may
+gather that Cicero was full of graceful and clever jocosity, but did not
+indulge in what was vapid and objectionable. Both by precept and
+practice he approved good verbal humour. The better class of puns was
+used in the literature of the time, as we find by St. Paul and others,
+not in levity, but merely as embellishments.[22]
+
+Cicero replied to Vibius Curius, who was telling a falsehood about his
+age: "Then when we declaimed at the schools together, you were not
+born;" and to Fabia, Dolabella's wife, who said she was thirty, "No
+doubt, for I have heard you say so twenty years." When he saw Lentulus,
+his cousin--a little man girt with a big sword: "Who," he asked, "has
+fastened my cousin to that sword?" and on being shown a colossal bust of
+his brother, who was also small, he exclaimed, "The half of my brother
+is greater than the whole." One day Cicero had supped with Damasippus,
+and his host had said--putting some inferior wine before him--"Drink
+this Falernian, it is forty years old!" "It bears its age well," replied
+Cicero.
+
+We have a most interesting collection of good sayings in "The Orator,"
+which although not spoken by Cicero himself, were those which he had
+from time to time noticed, and probably jotted down. Here is one of
+Cæsar's (Strabo). A Sicilian, when a friend made lamentation to him that
+his wife had hanged herself upon a fig tree: "I beseech you," he said,
+"give me some shoots of that tree that I may plant them." Some one asked
+Crassus whether he should be troublesome if he came to him before it was
+light. Crassus said, "You will not." The other rejoined, "You will order
+yourself to be awakened then." To which Crassus replied, "Surely, I said
+that you would not be troublesome."
+
+To return to the Cæsars. The humorous vein which we have traced in the
+family descended to Augustus--the great nephew of Julius. Some of his
+sayings, which have survived, show him to have been as pleasant in his
+wit as he was proverbially happy in his fortunes.
+
+When the inhabitants of Tarraco made him a fulsome speech, telling him
+that they had raised an altar to him as their presiding deity, and that,
+marvellous to relate, a splendid palm tree had grown up on it: "That
+shows," replied the Emperor, "how often you kindle a fire there." To
+Galba, a hunchback orator, who was pleading before him, and frequently
+saying, "Set me right, if I am wrong," he replied, "I can easily correct
+you, but I cannot set you right."
+
+The following will give a slight idea of the variety of his humour.
+
+When he heard that, among the children under two years old whom Herod
+had ordered to be slain, his own son had been killed, he said, "It is
+better to be Herod's pig than his son." Being entertained on one
+occasion with a very poor dinner, and without any ceremony, as he was
+passing out he whispered in the ear of his host, "I did not know that I
+was such a friend of yours." A Roman knight having died enormously in
+debt, Augustus ordered them to buy him his bed-pillow at the auction,
+observing: "The pillow of a man who could sleep when he owed so much
+must be truly soporific." A man who had been removed from a cavalry
+command and asked for an allowance, "not from any mercenary motive, but
+that I may seem to have resigned upon obtaining the grant from you," he
+dismissed with the words: "Tell everybody you have received it. I will
+not deny it."
+
+Augustus kept a jester, Gabba, and patronised mimes, and among other
+diversions with which he amused himself and his friends, was that of
+giving presents by lottery; each drew a ticket upon which something was
+named, but on applying for the article a totally different thing was
+received, answering to a second meaning of the name. This occasioned
+great merriment, a man who thought he was to get a grand present was
+given a little sponge, or rake, or a pair of pincers; another who seemed
+to have no claim whatever, obtained something very valuable. The humour
+was not great, but a little refreshing distraction was thus obtained
+from the cares of state. There is no loss in light literature so much to
+be deplored as that of the correspondence between Augustus and Mecænas.
+The latter prided himself upon his skill in poetry and humour, and we
+may be sure that he sent some of his choicest productions to Augustus,
+who in turn exerted himself to send something worthy of the eye of so
+celebrated a critic. It is not impossible that the Emperor showed
+himself equal, if not superior to the friend of Horace.
+
+Those who succeeded to the imperial purple proved very different from
+their illustrious predecessor, and in Persius the severity of Roman
+satire re-appears. We could scarcely expect a man who lived under Nero,
+and after the reigns of Tiberius, Caligula, and Claudius to write with
+the mild placidity of the Augustan poet. Moreover, the satires of
+Persius were written at an early age--twenty-eight, and youth always
+feels acutely, and expresses strongly. Some of his attacks are evidently
+aimed at Nero, but his principal object is to denounce the vices of the
+times. Hence, indolence and prurient literature are stigmatised. He
+ridicules the extremes of extravagance, and of that parsimony by which
+it is usually accompanied. "Am I on a festive day to have a nettle
+dressed for me, and a smoked pig's cheek with a hole in its ear, in
+order that that grandson of yours may be surfeited with goose liver, and
+indulge in patrician amours. Am I to be a living anatomy that his pope's
+stomach may shake with fat."[23] Alluding to the absurdity of the
+prayers generally offered up, he uses language worthy of a Christian.
+"You ask for vigour, but rich dishes and fat sausages prevent the gods
+from granting your behest. You ask what your fleshly mind suggests. What
+avails gold in sacrifice? Offer justice to God and man--generous honour,
+and a soul free from pollution."
+
+In Persius we miss the light geniality of Horace and the pure language
+of the Augustan age, but we mark the complexity and finesse of a later
+date, a form of thought bespeaking a comprehensive grasp, and suitable
+to subtle minds. But as regards his humour it depends much on
+exaggeration, and is proportionably weak, and beyond this we have little
+but the coining of some words,[24] the using others in unaccustomed
+senses, and a large seasoning of severity. He evidently aimed rather at
+being corrective than amusing, and his covert attacks upon Nero were, no
+doubt, well understood. Humour of a poor kind was evidently fashionable
+at the day--the Emperor himself wrote Satires and was so fond of comic
+performances that he first encouraged and rewarded a celebrated
+pantomimic actor named Paris, and then put him to death for being his
+rival in the mimetic art. Even Seneca could not resist the example of
+his contemporaries, and we find the sedate philosopher attacking his
+enemy with severe ridicule. Claudius had him sent into exile for eight
+years to the picturesque but lonely Island of Corsica; and Seneca who
+liked something more social and luxurious, held him up in a satire
+bordering upon lampoon. The fanciful production was called the
+Apolokokyntosis of Claudius; that is his apotheosis, except that,
+instead of the Emperor being deified, he is supposed to be
+"gourdified," changed not into a god, but into a pumpkin. Seneca, after
+deriding Claudius' bodily defects, accuses him of committing many
+atrocities, and finally sends him down from heaven to the nether world,
+where a new punishment is invented for him--he is to be always trying to
+throw dice out of an empty box.
+
+One of the most remarkable characters in the reign of Nero was Titus
+Petronius Arbiter. He was a great favourite with the Emperor, and held
+some official appointment--the duties of which he is said to have
+discharged with ability. In his writings he is supposed to condemn
+immorality, but he enlarges so much upon what he disapproves that we
+doubt whether he does not promote the vice he pretends to condemn.[25]
+His "Satyricon" is not intended to be a satire, but an imitation of one
+of those old Greek comedies which treated of the doings of Satyrs and
+grotesque country deities. It is the first comic prose work, for in
+early times verse was thought as necessary to humour as to poetry. The
+whole work is enveloped in a voluptuous atmosphere; it is written in a
+gay roystering style, but although the indelicacy is great the humour
+is small. Occasionally it is interesting, as giving an insight into
+private life in the days of Nero. Here we find Trimalchio, a rich man,
+providing for the amusement of his guests, as well as for their
+sumptuous entertainment. One dish was a wild boar, which was placed on
+the table with a cap of liberty on its head. Petronius asked the meaning
+of this. "Why," said he, "your servant could explain that, it is no
+riddle. This boar escaped from yesterday's dinner where it was dismissed
+by the guests, and he now returns to table as a freedman." Afterwards a
+much larger hog was brought in. "What!" cried Trimalchio, looking
+closely at it, "is not his inside taken out? No! it is not; call the
+cook, call the cook." The cook being brought in, excused himself saying
+that he forgot. "Forgot!" cried Trimalchio, "why, he talks as if it were
+only a pinch of pepper omitted. Strip him." In a moment the cook was
+stripped to be flogged. All interceded for him, but Petronius felt
+somewhat indignant at such an oversight, and said he must be a careless
+rascal to forget to disembowel a hog. Trimalchio with a pleasant look
+said, "Come, you with the short memory, see if you can bowel him before
+us." The cook slashed with his knife, and out tumbled a load of puddings
+and sausages. All the servants raised a shout, and the cook was
+presented with a cup of wine, and a silver crown.
+
+Petronius shared the fate of Seneca. He was suspected of conspiring
+against the Emperor, and his life being demanded, he preferred to suffer
+by his own hand rather than by that of the executioner. He caused his
+veins to be opened, but strangely whimsical to the last, and wishing to
+die slowly, he had them closed at intervals. In his dying state he was
+daily carried about the streets of Cumæ, and received his friends, made
+love verses and humorous epigrams, and endeavoured to withdraw his
+thoughts from the sad reality by indulging in all kinds of amusing
+caprices. At length he expired--another distinguished victim of Nero's
+cruelty.
+
+Juvenal, who wrote under Domitian, a little later than Persius, equalled
+him in severity--due either to his natural disposition or to the
+spectacle presented by the ever increasing demoralization of Rome. Like
+Persius, he makes use of much metaphor and involution in his
+works--showing the literary taste and intellectual acumen of a settled
+state of society, but an early age is impressed upon his pages in the
+indelicacy with which he is frequently chargeable. His depiction of
+guilt was appreciated at that day, but under the Christian dispensation
+vice is thought too sinful, and in a highly civilised state too
+injurious to be laughable. The views then held were different, and
+Tacitus considered it a mark of great superiority in the Germans that
+they did not laugh at crimes. Juvenal tells us that the Romans jeered at
+poverty. There was much in the character of this satirist to raise him
+in the estimation of right-minded men. His tastes were simple, he loved
+the country and its homely fare, and although devoid of ambition, was
+highly cultivated. No doubt he was rather austere than genial: his aim
+was to instruct and warn rather than amuse; and where he approaches
+humour it is merely from complexity of style, in coining words and
+barbarisms, or in comparisons mostly dependent upon exaggeration. The
+following is one of his best specimens, though over-weighted with
+severity. It gives an idea of the state of Rome at the time. A drunken
+magnate and his retinue stop a citizen in the street, and insolently
+demand--
+
+"With whose vinegar and beans are you blown out? What cobbler has been
+eating leeks and sheepshead with you? Answer, or be kicked." "This,"
+says Juvenal "is a poor man's liberty. When pummelled, he begs that he
+may be allowed to escape with a few of his teeth remaining."
+
+Juvenal longs for the sword of Lucilius, and the lamp of Horace, that
+he may attack the vices of Rome, but he himself is more severe than
+either. Forgers, gamblers and profligates are assailed, and names are
+frequently given, though we often cannot now decide whether they
+belonged to real persons. Laughing at those who desire length of years
+without remembering the concomitant infirmities of age, he says:
+
+"All kinds of disease dance around the aged in a troop, of which if you
+were to ask the names I could sooner tell you how many lovers Hippia
+had, how many patients Themison killed in one autumn, or how many allies
+Basilus and Hirrus defrauded." He condemns the increased desire for
+luxury. "Do not," he warns, "long for a mullet, when you have only a
+gudgeon in your purse." The rule of the day was to purchase sensual
+indulgence at any cost, "Greediness is so great that they will not even
+invite a parasite." Excessive selfishness leads to every kind of
+dishonesty. "A man of probity is as rare as a mule's foal, or as a
+shower of stones from a cloud." "What day is so sacred that it fails to
+produce thieving, perfidy, fraud, gain sought through every crime, and
+money acquired by bowl and dagger. The good are so scarce that their
+number is barely as great as that of the gates of Thebes, or the mouths
+of the fertilizing Nile."
+
+He attacks every kind of social abuse, and does not even spare the
+ladies--some are too fast, some are learned and pedantic, some cruel to
+their slaves--even scourging them with cowhides. "What fault," he
+asks, "has the girl committed, if your own nose has displeased you?" As
+to religion, that has disappeared altogether. "What a laugh your
+simplicity would raise in public, if you were to require of anyone that
+he should not perjure himself, but believe that there was some deity in
+the temple, or at the ensanguined altar! That the souls of the departed
+are anything, and the realms below, and the punt-pole and frogs of the
+Stygian pool, and that so many thousands pass over in one boat, not even
+the boys believe, except those who are too young to pay for their bath."
+
+The language used in the last passage is no doubt an example of the
+profane manner in which some men spoke at that day, but in general, we
+must remember that these pictures are humorous and overdrawn. Still,
+some of the offences spoken of with horror by Juvenal were treated
+almost as lightly by contemporary poets as they had been by
+Aristophanes.
+
+There is a slightly foreign complexion about the productions of Martial,
+which reminds us that he was a Spaniard. Even at this time there seems
+to have been a sparkle and richness in the thoughts that budded in that
+sunny clime. Martial was a contemporary of Juvenal, and addressed two or
+three of his epigrams to him. His works consisted of fourteen books,
+containing altogether more than fifteen hundred of these short poems.
+
+The appearance of such works may be taken as indicative of the condition
+of Rome at the time. The calls of business had become more urgent from
+the increase of the population and development of commerce, while the
+unsatisfactory state of the Government and of foreign affairs kept men's
+minds in agitation and suspense. Martial himself observes that those
+were no times for poems of any length, and that some of his friends
+would not even read his longer pieces, though they never exceeded thirty
+lines. The period demanded something light and short--a book which could
+be taken up and laid down without any interruption of the narrative. But
+the swifter current of affairs had also produced a keener or more active
+turn of mind, so that it was necessary not only to be short, but also
+pithy. It was not necessary to be humorous, but it was essential to be
+concise and interesting, and thus Martial gave to the epigram that
+character for point which it has since maintained.
+
+Nothing could be more attractive than allusions to contemporary men,
+passing scenes, or novelties of the day, and when we read his works we
+seem to be transported by magic into the streets and houses of ancient
+Rome. On one page we have the sanguinary scenes of the circus; in
+another we see the ladies waving their purple fans, and hear them
+toasted in as many glasses as they have letters to their names.
+
+From this kind of gaiety Martial graduates into another--that of
+pleasantry. In an epitaph on his barber, he bids the earth lie light
+upon him, adding, "It could not be lighter than his artistic hand." From
+his censure of bad wit, it is evident that he drew great distinctions
+between broad and subtle humour. "Every man," he says, "has not a
+_nose_," _i.e._, a keen perception--cannot smell a fault. He is very
+seldom guilty of a pun, and says in one place that he has not adopted
+verbal tricks, imitating echoes, or making lines which can be read
+backwards or forwards.[26] Nor has he any intention to indulge in bitter
+reflections; he says,--
+
+"My page injures not those it hates, and no reputation obtained at the
+expense of another is pleasing to me. Some versifiers wish publications
+which are but darts dipped in the blood of Lycambus to be mine, and
+vomit forth the poison of vipers under my name. My sport is harmless."
+
+But he well saw that some little severity was necessary for humour, for
+he chides a dull poet:
+
+"Although the epigrams which you write are always sweetness itself, and
+more spotless than a white-leaded skin, and although there is in them
+neither an atom of salt, nor a drop of bitter gall, yet you expect,
+foolish man, that they will be read. Why, not even food is pleasant if
+wholly destitute of acid seasoning, nor is a face pleasing which shows
+no dimples. Give children your honey, apples, and luscious figs--the
+Chian fig, which has sharpness, pleases my taste."
+
+Following this view we find him often sarcastic, but not personal, the
+names being fictitious, or if not, those of well known public men. In a
+few instances he is a little ill-natured, and writes, "Laugh, if thou
+art wise, girl, laugh, said Ovid, but he did not say this to all girls,
+not, for instance, to Maximina, who has only three teeth, and those the
+colour of pitch and boxwood. Avoid the pantomimes of Philistion and gay
+feasts. It befits you to sit beside an afflicted mother, and a wife
+lamenting her husband. Weep, if thou art wise, girl, weep."
+
+Martial often uses the figure called by the Greek grammarians "contrary
+to expectation." The point of the whole epigram lies in the last word or
+line, which changes the drift of the whole.
+
+  "His funeral pile was strewn with reed,
+   His tearful wife brought fragrant myrrh,
+   The bier, the grave, the ointment were prepared,
+   He named me as his heir, and he--got well."
+
+  "Sorry is Athenagoras not to send the gifts,
+   Which in mid-winter he is wont to send;
+   Whether he be sorry I shall shortly see,
+   But sorry he has certainly made me."
+
+  "You feast so often without me, Lupercus,
+   I've found a way by which to pay you out,
+   I am incensed, and if you should invite me,
+   What would I do, you ask me? Why--I'd come."
+
+The growing appreciation of this kind of writing had already led
+Meleager, a cynic philosopher of Gadara, to form the first collection of
+Greek epigrams, which he prettily termed the anthology or bouquet.
+Martial has been commended at the expense of the Greeks, but he borrowed
+considerably from them in form and matter. His epigrams were more
+uniformly suggestive and concentrated than those of any previous writer,
+and he largely contributed to raise such compositions from being merely
+inscriptive into a branch of literature. He opened a new field, and the
+larger portion of these productions in Greek were written about this
+time. They are not generally humorous, with the exception of a few from
+Philo and Leonidas of Alexandria who lived about 60 B.C., from
+Ammianus in 120 B.C., and from Lucilius, a great composer of
+this kind, of whose history nothing is known but that he lived in the
+reign of Nero. The following are from the last-mentioned.
+
+"Some say, Nicylla, that thou dyest thy hair, which thou boughtest most
+black at the market."
+
+"All the astrologers prophesied that my uncle would be long-lived except
+Hermocleides, who said he would not be so. This, however, was not until
+we were lamenting his death."
+
+The following are free translations from the same writer.
+
+  "Poor Cleon out of envy died,
+   His brother thief to see
+   Nailed near him to be crucified
+   Upon a higher tree."
+
+On a bad painter.
+
+  "You paint Deucalion and Phaeton,
+   And ask what price for each you should require;
+   I'll tell you what they're worth before you've done,
+   One deserves water, and the other fire."
+
+The works of Lucian are generally regarded as forming a part of Roman
+literature, although they were written in Greek by a native of Samosata
+in Syria. In them we have an intermingling of the warm imagination of
+the East with the cold sceptical philosophy of the West. Lucian was
+originally brought up to be a stone-cutter, but he had an insatiable
+desire for learning, and in his "Dream" he tells us how he seemed to be
+carried aloft on the wings of Pegasus. He became a pleader at the bar,
+but soon found that "deceit, lies, impudence, and chicanery" were
+inseparable from that profession. In disgust he betook himself to
+philosophy, but could not restrain his indignation when he found so many
+base men throwing the blame of their conduct on Plato, Chrysippus,
+Pythagoras, and other great men. "A fellow who tells you that the wise
+man alone is rich, comes the next moment and asks you for money--just as
+if a person in regal array should go about begging." He says they pay no
+more attention to the doctrines they teach than if their words were
+tennis balls to play with in schools. "There is," he continues, "a story
+told of a certain king of Egypt, who took a fancy to have apes taught to
+dance. The apes, as they are apt to mimic human actions, came on in
+their lessons and improved very fast, and were soon fit to appear on the
+public stage, and display their skill, dressed in purple robes, with
+masks on their faces. The spectators were much pleased with them for a
+considerable time, when a wag who was present, having brought with him a
+quantity of nuts, threw a handful amongst them. The dance was
+immediately forgotten, and the performers from pyrrhic dancers, relapsed
+into apes, who went chattering and snapping at one another, and fighting
+for nuts; so that in a few moments the masks were crumpled, the clothes
+torn to rags, and the ape dance, which had been so much extolled,
+terminated amidst peals of laughter. Such is the history of mock
+philosophers."
+
+The above story may serve to exhibit Lucian's views, and his love of
+humorous illustration. He indulges in many fancies, such as the
+complaint of the letter S against T, which had in Attic been substituted
+for it.
+
+Another kind of pleasantry which he brings forward is interesting,
+inasmuch as after having been in fashion among the grammarians, and
+reviving among the monks in the middle ages it has now fallen entirely
+out of use. It may be regarded as being a kind of continuation of the
+philosophical "hard questions" of ancient times, originated with the
+Sophists, and was entirely confined to logical subtleties affording
+diversion, but not awakening any emotion sufficient to cause laughter.
+Lucian makes a parasite ask his host after dinner to solve such riddles
+as "The Sorites and the Reaper," and the "Horned Syllogism." The latter
+proposition was, "What you have not lost that you still have. You have
+not lost horns, therefore you have horns." In "The Sale of the
+Philosophers," in which Jupiter puts them all up to auction to see what
+will be bid for them, Chrysippus gives some similar examples. "A stone
+is a substance, is it not?" "Certainly." "A living being is also a
+substance." "Yes." "And you are a living being--therefore you are a
+stone." Chrysippus then offers to turn him back into a man. "Is every
+substance a living being?" "No." "Is a stone a living being?" "No." "But
+you are a substance?" "Yes." "And a living being; then, although you are
+a substance you are not a stone, because you are a living being."
+
+Lucian's crusade against vice is of so general a kind as to remind us
+more of some of the old philosophers than of the Roman satirists. At the
+same time he says he has only spoken against impostors, and is only the
+enemy of false pretence, quackery, lies, and puffing. But we may suppose
+that he would not be sparing of his lash in any direction, for in the
+"Resuscitated Philosophers," he observes, "Philosophy says that
+ridicule can never make anything worse than it is in itself, and
+whatever is beautiful and good comes out with more lustre from it, and,
+like gold, is rendered splendid by the strokes of the hammer."
+
+Following this view, he makes pretty sport of the parasites, whom he
+represents as forming a large and educated class. Patroclus he counts as
+Achilles' parasite, and includes several philosophers, who, he says,
+sponged upon Dionysius of Syracuse, "but Plato failed in the art." He
+commends them in merry irony, and describes the parasite as stout and
+robust--bold, with an eye full of fire and spirit. Who could venture a
+bet against a parasite, whether in jesting or feasting? Who could
+contribute more to the diversion of the company? A parasite is obliged
+to be strict in his conduct. He has an annual salary, but is always
+beaten down in it. He does not receive the same food as the chief
+people, and in travelling he is put with the servants. Jokes are made at
+his expense by the company, and when he receives a present of his
+patron's old clothes, he has to fee the servants for them. Of
+philosophers, some are poisoned, some are burned alive. None ever tell
+of a parasite who came to such an end--he dies gently and sweetly,
+amidst loaded dishes and flowing bowls, and should one of them come to
+a violent death, it is merely from indigestion. The parasite does honour
+to the rich man--not the rich man to the parasite.
+
+Lucian's "True History" deserves especial notice as having been the
+first extravagant story written under the form of a circumstantial
+narration of travels. It was the precursor of "The Voyage to the Moon,"
+Baron Münchausen, and various Utopias. We must therefore allow it the
+merit of originality, and it evinces talent, for mere exaggeration would
+not be entertaining. The intention was to ridicule the marvellous
+travellers' stories then current. Much of this history is merely florid,
+and we may compare it to a waving line, in which the fable is constantly
+undulating between humour and poetry.
+
+Lucian says he is going to write about what never can be. He sets sail
+on a voyage of discovery for the Western Ocean, and reaches a beautiful
+island. There they find a river of wine, navigable in many places. He
+could not trace the source of it, but near the place where it seemed to
+rise, were several vines full of grapes, and at the root of every one
+wine flowed out. They found fish in the stream, and after eating some,
+felt intoxicated; when they cut them up, they found grape-stones in
+them. Passing the river, they found a most wonderful species of vine;
+the lower parts, which touched the ground, were green and thick, the
+upper formed the most beautiful women, from the top of whose fingers
+branches sprang forth full of grapes; and on their heads, instead of
+hair, they had leaves and tendrils. Two of his companions, going up to
+embrace them, became so entangled that they could not again disengage
+themselves. After this, they left the island, and were caught in such a
+violent storm that the vessel was lifted out of the water, so high that
+it could not come down again. Then they came to another island, round
+and shining. Here they found Hippogypi, men riding upon vultures--birds
+so large that each of their feathers was like the mast of a ship. The
+voyagers join the Hippogypi in a battle against the inhabitants of the
+sun, and have various allies--some mounted on fleas about the size of
+twelve elephants, and spiders, each as big as one of the Cyclades
+islands. The travellers were taken prisoners, and conveyed to the Sun,
+but he returned to the Moon, of which he gives a description. The
+inhabitants there make use of their stomachs--which are empty and lined
+with hair--as bags or pockets to put away things. They take their eyes
+in and out, and borrow them. "Whoever does not believe me, had better
+go and see." Returning from the air to the earth and sea, they saw
+several enormous whales, one of whom swam up to them with its mouth wide
+open. Coming near he swallowed them up--ship and all. It was dark
+inside, until he opened his mouth again. There was a large extent of
+land inside, and hills and woods, in which birds were building nests.
+
+From this last fancy, we might conclude that Lucian had read the Book of
+Jonah, and a description he afterwards gives of the Isles of the
+Blessed, seems to be written in imitation of the Revelation.
+
+The age in which Lucian lived was marked by theological contests between
+Pagans, Jews, and Christians, and such times have generally caused an
+increase of scepticism and profanity. Lucian was a follower of
+Democritus, and his Confabulations consist of a succession of squibs and
+satires on the mythological legends of the gods and goddesses. He laughs
+at curing diseases by charms and incantations. People pretended to fly,
+walk on water and through fire--they are called Babylonians and
+Hyperboreans. A Syrian from Palestine professes to drive devils out of
+people (perhaps alluding to the exorcists of the early church.) He makes
+Eucrates speak of one Pancrates, who would take a broom or the pestle of
+a wooden mortar, and upon saying a couple of magical words, it appeared
+to become a man, drew water, and ordered food. When Pancrates had no
+further need of him, he spoke a couple of words, and the man was a
+pestle again. Eucrates tried this himself, but having made the pestle a
+man, and told him to bring water, he forgot how to change him back
+again. So he kept on bringing water. Eucrates then split the pestle in
+two, and both halves still continued to bring water.
+
+Demonax, the friend of Lucian, was as remarkable for his wit and
+repartee as for his kindly nature. A man who over-rated his austerity,
+expressed one day his surprise at seeing him eat sweet-cakes. "Do you
+think," he replied, "that the bees make their honey only for fools?" He
+seems to have had as little respect as Lucian for the idolatry of his
+day, for on one of his companions saying to him "Let us go to the Temple
+of Æsculapius to pray for my son," he answered, "Is the god then so deaf
+that he cannot hear us where we are?"
+
+He lived and died a bachelor, and we are told that on being blamed by
+Epictetus, with whom he studied, for not marrying and having a family as
+a philosopher should, he replied "Very well, give me one of your
+daughters." Epictetus was an old bachelor.
+
+He counselled a bad orator to practise and exercise himself in the art
+of speaking, and on his replying, "I am always doing so--to myself," he
+added, "It is therefore not surprising you speak as you do--having a
+fool for your audience."
+
+When the sophist Sidonius, delivering a long panegyric on himself, said
+that he was acquainted with all the tenets of the philosophers: "If
+Aristotle calls me to the Lyceum, I obey; if Plato to the Academy, I
+come; Zeno to the Stoa, I take up my abode there; if Pythagoras calls, I
+am silent:" Demonax jumped up in the middle of the Assembly and cried
+out, "Pythagoras calls you."
+
+His humour was purely genial and jocose, as when, on the point of
+setting sail in winter, he replied to a friend who asked him whether he
+was not afraid he should be ship-wrecked and go to feed the fishes,
+"Should I not be ungrateful were I unwilling to be devoured by fishes,
+when I have feasted on so many myself?"
+
+But there is one speech of his which must ever make his memory dear to
+all good men. When the Athenians wished to emulate the Corinthians by
+exhibiting a gladiatorial combat, he said, "Do not vote this, Athenians,
+before ye have taken down the Altar of Mercy."
+
+Demonax lived to a ripe old age, and we are told that he was so much
+beloved in Athens that, as he passed the bread-shops, the bakers would
+run out to beg his acceptance of a loaf, and thought it a good omen if
+he complied; and that the little children called him father, and would
+bring him presents of fruit.
+
+Apuleius wrote in Latin in the second century. He was a native of
+Carthage--not the celebrated Carthage of Terence, but that of Cyprian--a
+new city. He travelled like many of the learned men of his time to
+Athens and Alexandria, and thus, most probably, became acquainted with
+his contemporary Lucian. At any rate, his "Golden Ass" seems taken from
+the work by that author. Bishop Warburton has seen in his production a
+subtle attack upon Christianity, but we may take it as intended to
+ridicule magical arts, and those who believed in them. He was likely to
+feel keenly on this subject, for having married a rich widow,
+Pudentilla, her relatives accused him of having obtained her by
+witchcraft, and even dragged him into a court of justice.
+
+Lucian ridiculed the religion of his day, Apuleius its superstitions.
+Apuleius speaks of his "book of jests," but it is lost--the few lines he
+gives out of it are a somewhat matter-of-fact recommendation of
+tooth-powder. His enemies thought that tooth-powder was something
+magical and unholy--at any rate, they made his mention of it a charge
+against him. In reply, he says that perhaps a man who only opens his
+mouth to revile ought not to have tooth-powder.
+
+In the "Golden Ass," Apuleius gravely supposes that transformations take
+place between men and the lower animals. He makes Aristomenes tell a
+story in which a witch appears, "able to drag down the firmament, to
+support the world on her shoulders, crumble mountains, raise the dead,
+dethrone gods, extinguish the stars, and illuminate hell." She changed
+one of her lovers, of whom she was jealous, into a beaver, and
+persecuted him with hunters. She punished the wife of another of them,
+who was about to increase her family, by condemning her to remain in
+that condition. "It is now eight years since she has been growing larger
+and larger, and seems as though about to produce an elephant."
+
+Lucius goes to Thessaly, celebrated for its witches, and a good story is
+told how returning late from supper he finds three men battering against
+his door. Taking them for robbers he draws his dagger, and stabs them,
+and the ground is covered with blood. Next day he is tried for murder,
+and about to be crucified, when the corpses are brought into court, and
+are found to be three wine-skins. He is told that this was a trick
+played on him upon the day when they usually celebrated the festival of
+the god of laughter, but it seems to have been really owing to an
+incantation. He sees Pamphile, his hostess, change herself into an owl,
+thinks he also will transform himself into a bird, and anoints himself
+with some of the witch's preparations. By mistake, taking the wrong
+ointment, he transforms himself into a donkey. He then goes to look for
+his horse, who, thinking he is coming to eat his food, kicks him out,
+and soon afterwards he is well thrashed by his servant boy. He is told
+that eating fresh roses will restore him to his former self, but for
+various reasons he cannot get any. Being hungry he goes into a kitchen
+garden, and makes a good meal of the vegetables, for which transgression
+he is nearly killed by the gardener. To prevent this he kicks the man
+over, whereupon a general outcry was raised, and great dogs rush upon
+him. After this persecution he is in danger of dying of
+starvation--"spiders began to spin their webs on his lips," but becoming
+instrumental in saving a young girl, he receives better treatment. He is
+then bought by vagrants, who go about playing cymbals, and carrying an
+image of the Syrian goddess. He is accompanied by a troop of fanatical
+priests, who dance and scourge themselves. While the priests are being
+royally entertained by one of their votaries, a dog runs off with a
+haunch of venison, and the cook, not knowing what to do, conceives the
+project of killing the ass, and dressing one of his haunches instead. To
+avoid this the donkey breaks loose, and gallops into the supper room.
+After the band of priests is dispersed, owing to their thieving
+propensities, the donkey is sold to a baker, and by him to a gardener,
+and nearly dies of cold and exposure. Then he becomes the property of
+the servants of a very rich man, and is found eating up the remains of
+their supper. This greatly amuses them all, and their lord orders him to
+be brought to his table. A buffoon, or parasite, who sat among the
+guests, exclaims "Give him a cup of wine," and he was taught various
+tricks. His fame increases so that his master only admits people to see
+him on payment. Finally being taken to the circus, and afraid that some
+of the wild beasts might eat him by mistake, he slips away and gallops
+to Cenchroea, where he prays to the goddess Iris, and is by her
+restored to his human form. The descriptions in this work are often very
+beautiful, and the humour in describing the misfortunes of the ass is
+excellent.
+
+In contrast to the humour of Lucian and Apuleius, we may place that of
+the Emperor Julian, an ascetic and devotee, who was nephew of
+Constantine the Great, and brought up a Christian. Julian's early life
+was spent in terror, for Constantius, Constantine's son, imprisoned him
+at Milan, after having put his elder brother to death. Perhaps this
+treatment at the hands of a Christian may have prejudiced him against
+the new religion, or his mild disposition may have been scandalized at
+the fierceness of theological controversies, or at the lives of many of
+the converts. His early education and experiences of life were more
+inclined to imbue him with principles of toleration than to make him a
+zealous Christian, and, finally, when he arrived at the age of twenty,
+he determined to return back into Paganism. This retrograde movement,
+not altogether out of keeping with his quaint character and love of
+antiquity, has stamped him with the opprobrious title of the "Apostate,"
+but in moral excellence he was superior to the age in which he lived.
+Many of his writings show a sense of humour, such as that he wrote in
+Lutetia (Paris) on "Barley wine" the drink of the Gauls.
+
+  "Who and whence art thou, Dionyse? for, by true Bacchus
+   I know thee not, but Jove's great son alone,
+   He smells of nectar, thou of goats, truly the Celts
+   For want of grapes made thee of ears of corn;
+   Wherefore thou shouldst be Cereal called, not Bacchus,
+   Pyrogenes and Bromos, not Bromion."[27]
+
+Julian's principal work is on the Cæsars. He commences it by saying that
+he is not addicted to jesting, but he will relate a sort of fable in
+which all the gods and Cæsars are called to a great banquet.
+Accordingly, he introduces various characters. Julius Cæsar seems in his
+pride to wish to dispute the throne even with Jupiter. Augustus he
+compares to a chameleon, sometimes one colour, sometimes another; one
+moment a visage full of sorrow, another smiling.
+
+Tiberius has a fierce countenance, and shows the marks of intemperance
+and debauchery. "Take care he does not pull your ear," says Bacchus,
+"for thus he treated a grammarian." "He had better," returned Silenus,
+"bemoan himself in his solitary island, and tear the face of some
+miserable fisherman."[28]
+
+Constantine, not finding among the gods any type of his character,
+betook himself to the goddess of pleasure. She, receiving him softly and
+embracing him, trimmed him up and adorned him, dressed him in a shining
+and many-coloured woman's gown, and led him away to demoralization.
+With her he found one of his sons, who loudly proclaimed to all,
+"Whosoever is a seducer, a murderer, or shameless, let him advance
+boldly, for by washing him with water I will immediately make him pure;
+and if he should be again guilty of such things, I will grant him to be
+pure on striking his breast, or beating his head."[29] At the end of
+this "fable," the Emperors are called upon to speak in their defence.
+Constantine being asked what object he had in view, replied "to amass
+great riches and spend them on myself and friends." Silenus burst into a
+fit of laughter, and retorted "You now wish to pass for a banker, but
+how can you forget your living like a cook, or a hair-dresser?" alluding
+to his luxurious feastings, and his wearing gold-flowered stuffs, and a
+diadem of jewels.
+
+Gibbon calls this work on the Cæsars one of the most agreeable and
+instructive productions of ancient wit.
+
+Julian prided himself on his primitive and severe life, and made himself
+ridiculous by wearing a long unfashionable beard--either in imitation of
+the Gauls, or of the ancient philosophers. It is probable that he
+persisted in this habit to discountenance the effeminacy of the times.
+He says that soon after he entered Constantinople, he had occasion to
+send for a barber. An officer, magnificently dressed, presented himself.
+"It is a barber," said the prince, "that I want, and not a minister of
+finance." He questioned the man about his profits, and was informed that
+besides a large salary and some valuable perquisites, he enjoyed a daily
+allowance of twenty servants and as many horses! Not only was Julian
+strongly opposed to luxury, but he was, as far as his light went, a
+religious man, and was strict in observing the feasts and festivals of
+the heathen deities. All his antiquated peculiarities are brought
+strongly before us on the occasion of his visit to Antioch. Strabo tells
+us that this was one of the largest cities in the world--little inferior
+in extent to Alexandria and Seleucia. It was noted for its gaieties, and
+seems now to have been the centre of fashion. The new religion had been,
+at least nominally, adopted, and also the new costumes, as well as every
+kind of luxury and dissipation. Chrysostom bears witness to the same
+effect. The town was full of dancers, pipers, and players, camels
+"adorned like brides" stalked through the porticos, and fish and poultry
+had come to be considered as necessaries of life. There were here many
+people of leisure and cultivation, fond of light and fanciful pursuits,
+and among others of forming verbal conceits. Hence, we find that the
+disciples were first called _Christians_ at Antioch, no doubt,
+derisively,[30] and in Julian's time they had a cant saying that they
+had suffered nothing from the X or the K (Christ or Constantius). A
+celebrated school of rhetoric was established here, and no doubt some of
+the effusions penned at this time, abounded with rich and epigrammatic
+humour.
+
+It must have been a rare sight for these polished and satirical
+Christians of Antioch to behold Julian celebrating the festivals of the
+pagan gods. To view the procession of Venus--a long line of all the
+dissolute women in the town, singing loose songs--followed by the lean,
+uncouth Roman Emperor, with his shaggy beard, and terminated by a
+military train. No wonder they hooted him, and wrote lampoons upon him.
+But Julian thought he was performing a solemn duty; he by no means
+intended to countenance immorality. "Far from us," he says, "be all
+licentious jests and scurrilous discourse--let no priest read
+Archilochus or Hipponax." He gives an amusing account of his reception
+at the celebrated grove of Daphnæ, near Antioch, which he visited at
+the time of the annual festival. He expected to see a profusion of
+wealth and splendour. He pictured to himself the solemn pomp, the
+victims, the libations, the dancers, the incense, the children in white
+robes. When he entered the temple, full of such elevated thoughts, he
+found there neither incense, cake, nor victims. Much surprised, he could
+only suppose that the people were waiting at the gate, by way of
+respect, for a signal from the sovereign Pontiff. He therefore asked the
+priest what offering the city was about to make on this great
+anniversary; to which he replied, "The city has furnished nothing, but I
+have brought the god a goose from my own house."
+
+Julian says the people of Antioch had transfixed him with sarcasms, as
+with arrows. In accordance, however, with his peaceful disposition, he
+only retaliated by writing the Misopogon or "Beard-hater." "No law," he
+says, "forbids me to satirise myself." He begins with his face and says,
+
+"Although naturally good-looking, moroseness and bad manners have led me
+to wear a long beard for no apparent reason but that nature has not made
+it handsome. Therefore, I allow lice to run about in it like wild beasts
+in a wood, nor have I the power of eating or drinking much, for I must
+be cautious, lest I eat hairs along with bread. About being kissed, or
+kissing, I do not much care; still a beard has this inconvenience among
+others, that it does not allow us to join pure lips to those that are
+pure, and, therefore, the sweeter. You say that ropes should be twisted
+out of it, and I would willingly grant this, if only you were able to
+draw out the bristles, so that your soft and delicate hands should not
+suffer from their roughness."
+
+He says that he never goes to the theatre, and hates horse-races. As to
+domestic matters, "I pass sleepless nights upon a bed of straw, and
+insufficient food makes my manners severe and offensive to a luxurious
+city. Do not think that I do this on your account--a great and senseless
+mistake has led me from my childhood to wage war with my stomach." He is
+not at all surprised that they should follow the dissolute habits of the
+founder of their city, Antiochus, and that they think of nothing but
+dressing, bathing, and love-making--charges which could not be brought
+against himself. He esteems dancers and players "no more than the frogs
+of the lakes," and tells a story, that when Cato came into the city of
+Antioch, seeing all the young men under arms, and the magistrates in
+their robes, he thought the parade was in his honour. He blamed his
+friends for having told them he was coming, and advanced with some
+hesitation, when the master of the ceremonies came up and asked,
+"Stranger, how far off is Demetrius?" a man who had been a slave of
+Pompey, but had become immensely rich. Cato made no reply, but
+exclaimed, "O, miserable city!" and departed.
+
+The Misopogon is unique as a mock disparagement of self. Although
+written in condemnation of the Antiochians, a vein of pleasantry runs
+through it, which shows that Julian was not vindictive, and had a
+considerable gift of humour. Had he lived to mature age, he would
+probably have left some brilliant literary work. But shortly after his
+visit to Antioch, he led an expedition into Persia, and with his usual
+disregard of danger, entered the battle without his armour, and was
+mortally wounded.
+
+We read that the Roman girls were very fond of amusing themselves in
+their leisure hours by making "scirpi" or riddles. They do not seem to
+have indulged much in puns, or to have attempted anything very
+intricate, but rather to have aimed at testing knowledge and memory. We
+have few specimens remaining of their art, but such as we have are of
+that early kind, which demand some special information for their
+solutions. Aulus Gellius has preserved one "old by Hercules," which
+turns on the legend that when Tarquinius Superbus was installing Jupiter
+at the Capitol, all the other gods were ready to leave except Terminus,
+who being by his character immovable, and having no legs, refused to
+depart.[31] Two other specimens are found in Virgil's bucolics:--
+
+  "Say in what lands grow flowers inscribed with names
+   Of kings--and Phyllis shall be yours alone,"
+
+referring to the hyacinth, on whose petals the word Ajax was supposed to
+be found. The responding couplet runs:--
+
+  "Say, and my great Apollo thou shalt be,
+   Where heaven's span extends but three ells wide;"
+
+the answer to which is not known.
+
+Probably some riddles of an earlier date may be incorporated in the book
+of Symposius. Nothing is known of the life of this author, and it has
+been suggested that the word should be Symposium or the "Banquet"--these
+enigmas being supposed to be delivered after dinner. But most
+authorities consider Symposius to have lived in the fourth century,
+although an examination of his prosody might lead us to place him not
+earlier than the fifth. Very few of the riddles are really ingenious;
+among the best we may reckon:--
+
+  "Letters sustain me--yet I know them not,
+   I live on books, and yet I never read,
+   The Muses I've devoured and gained no knowledge."
+
+This is tolerably self-evident, but some require special information
+as:--
+
+  "You can behold what you can scarce believe
+   There is but one eye, yet a thousand heads,
+   Who sells what he has, whence shall he get what he has not?"
+
+Few would ever guess that this referred to a one-eyed man selling
+garlic. But the greater number of these conceits are merely emblematic
+descriptions of well-known things, and are more vague than epigrammatic,
+as,
+
+  "I am the purple of the earth suffused with lovely tints and girt,
+  lest I be wronged with pointed spears. Happy indeed! had I but
+  length of life."
+
+  "There's a new capture of some well-known game, that what you catch
+  not, you bear off with you."
+
+  "Hoarsely amidst the waves I raise my voice
+   It sounds with praise with which it lauds itself,
+   And though I ever sing, no one applauds."
+
+  "Spontaneous coming, I show various forms,
+   I feign vain fears, when there is no true conflict,
+   But no one can see me till he shuts his eyes."
+
+  "By art four equal sisters run
+   As if in contest, though the labour's one,
+   And both are near, nor can each other touch."[32]
+
+We know little of Macrobius except that he was a Greek, and lived in the
+fifth century. His principal work was his "Saturnalia," and he selected
+for it this title and plan, because, as he tells us, men were in his day
+so much occupied with business, that it was only in the annual festival
+of misrule that they had any time for reflection or social intercourse.
+The "Saturnalia," occupied the greater part of December, and Macrobius
+represents a company of magnates and wits agreeing to meet daily to
+discuss in the morning topics of importance, and to spend the evening in
+light and jocund conversation. His work treats of astronomy, mythology,
+poetry and rhetoric, but it is most interesting with regard to our
+present subject, where he brings before us one of those scenes of
+convivial merriment of which we have often heard. The party are to
+relate humorous anecdotes in turn. Avienus says that they should be
+intellectual not voluptuous, to which the president, Prætextatus,
+replies, that they will not banish pleasure as an enemy, nor consider it
+to be the greatest good. After these suggestions they commence:--
+
+Prætextatus records a saying of Hannibal. Antiochus, to whom he had
+fled, showed him in a plain a vast army he had collected to make war
+with the Romans; the men were adorned with gold and silver, there were
+chariots with scythes, elephants with towers, cavalry shining with
+ornamental bits and housings. Then turning to Hannibal, he asked him if
+he thought they would be enough for the Romans. The Carthaginian,
+smiling at the weakness and cowardice of the gaudily accoutred host,
+replied, "Certainly, I think they will be enough for them, however
+greedy they may be."
+
+Furius Albinus says that after the flight at Mutina, on some lady asking
+what Antony was doing, one of his friends replied, "What the dogs do in
+Egypt--drink and run!" "It is well known," he adds, "that there the dogs
+run while they drink, for fear of the crocodiles."
+
+Avenienus says that the sister of Faustus, the son of Sylla, had two
+lovers--one of them, Fulvius, the son of a fuller; the other Pomponius,
+nick-named Spot. "I wonder," he said, "that my sister should have a
+spot, when she has a fuller."
+
+The remaining guests speak more at length, and their discourses occupy a
+considerable portion of the book.
+
+The example set by Martial gradually led to a considerable development
+of epigrammatic literature. A humorous epigram survives, written by
+Trajan on a man with a large nose:
+
+  "By placing your nose and gaping mouth opposite the sun
+   You will tell wayfarers the hour."
+
+Justinian in the sixth century is supposed to have assisted Paul the
+Silentiary--a sort of master of the ceremonies--in his compositions; but
+it may be hoped that the Emperor was not an accomplice in producing the
+impurities with which they are disfigured. Here and there, however, a
+few sweet flowers are found in his poisonous garland. We may hope that
+he often received such a cool welcome as that he commemorates in his
+"Drenched Lover."
+
+Hierocles and Philagrius are supposed to have lived in the fifth
+century, but the jests and stories which bear their names seem to be
+much later. They are based upon violations of the primary laws of nature
+and mind, but have not the subtlety of the syllogistic quibbles, which
+were the work of learned grammarians or the logicians of a better
+period. Being little more than Bulls, they excite scarcely any emotion
+and no laughter, although evincing a certain cleverness. The hero is
+generally a "Scholastic," who is represented as a sort of fool. A friend
+of Scholasticus going abroad asks him to buy him some books.
+Scholasticus forgets all about it, and when he meets his friend on his
+return, says, "By the way, I never received that letter you wrote about
+the books." A man meeting Scholasticus says, "The slave you sold me
+died." "Did he? By the gods," replied the other, "he never played me
+that trick." Scholasticus meeting a friend exclaims, "Why, I heard you
+were dead!" The other replies, "Well, I tell you that I'm alive." "Yes,"
+persists Scholasticus, "but the man who told me so was more veracious
+than you!" A promising son apostrophizes his father, "Base varlet! don't
+you see how you have wronged me? If you had never been born and stood in
+the way I should have come into all my grandfather's money."
+
+The humour which has come to us from classic times, brings the life of
+ancient Greece and Rome near to our own firesides. It is not that of a
+primitive or decaying civilization, but of one advanced and matured,
+resembling our own, in which density of population has brought a
+clashing of interests, and enlarged knowledge has produced a variety of
+thought upon a great multiplicity of home and foreign subjects. We can
+thus bridge over two thousand years, and obtain, as it were, a grasp of
+the Past, in which we find men so very like ourselves, not only in their
+strong emotions, but in their little conceits and vanities, and their
+opinions of each other.
+
+
+
+
+ENGLISH HUMOUR.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+MIDDLE AGES.
+
+Relapse of Civilization in the Middle Ages--Stagnation of Mind--Scarcity
+  of Books--Character of reviving Literature--Religious
+  Writings--Fantastic Legends--Influence of the Crusades--Romances--Sir
+  Bevis of Hamptoun--Prominence of the Lower Animals--Allegories.
+
+
+Those ancient philosophers who believed in a mundane year and a
+periodical repetition of the world's history, would have found a
+remarkable corroboration of their theory in the retrogression of
+learning during the middle ages, and its subsequent gradual revival.
+This re-birth contained all the leading characteristics of the original
+development of thought, although, amid the darkness, the torch handed
+down from the past afforded occasionally some flickering light. The
+great cause of the disappearance of literature and civilization was, of
+course, the sword of the Goths, which made the rich countries of
+Southern Europe, a wilderness and desolation. A lesser cause was the
+intolerance of the ecclesiastics, who, in their detestation of Pagan
+superstition and immorality endeavoured to destroy all classical
+writings which touched upon mythological subjects, or contained unseemly
+allusions. But, although we regret its action in this respect, and the
+intellectual stagnation thus generally produced, we must admit that we
+are indebted to the Church for the preservation of many valuable works.
+There were many men of learning in the monasteries, and some of
+sufficient enlightenment to be able to venerate the relics of Greek and
+Latin literature. We find that in the East the works of Aristophanes
+were so much admired by St. Chrysostom that he slept with them under his
+pillow. Perhaps the Saint enjoyed the reflections of the comedian upon
+the superstitions of his day, or he may have had a secret liking for the
+drama, and in one place he observes how much the world resembles a
+stage. There seems to have been a conflict in his breast, as no doubt
+there was in many at the time, between love of the classics and
+religious scruples; he tells us that he dreamed one night that he was
+being whipped by the devil for reading Cicero.
+
+We may observe that the Eastern world was not at this time in such a
+benighted state. Theodosius the younger founded in A.D. 425,
+an academy and library at Constantinople, which, when it was destroyed
+by the Turks contained 120,000 volumes. Nothing brings before us more
+forcibly the state of ignorance in which the Western world was now sunk
+than the scarcity of books. The price of them in the middle ages was so
+great that a man who presented one to a monastery, thought he merited
+eternal salvation. Documents were drawn up and duly signed when a book
+passed from one person to another--and in the eighth century a library
+of 150 volumes was regarded as something magnificent.[33]
+
+The state of ignorance among the Saxons may be imagined from the fact
+that Alfred was twelve years old before he could get a master capable of
+teaching him the alphabet, and even after the invention of paper in the
+eleventh century books were very scarce. The cause of the scanty supply
+of literature was not only the general destruction which had taken
+place, but also that there was no demand for it. Archbishop Lanfranc,
+with a view to improve education in England, directed in 1072 that a
+book should be given to each of the monks, who were to be allowed a year
+to read it, and what follows gives us some idea of the indolence of
+these representatives of learning, for it was ordered that if the monk
+has not then read it he is to prostrate himself, and ask pardon of the
+abbot. The monks of Winchester were probably not much troubled in this
+way, for some time afterwards the library of the bishop of that diocese
+only consisted of seven books. What must then have been the ignorance of
+the masses of the population! We should scarcely believe that such a
+relapse could have taken place had we not seen the centres of
+civilization in the world successively succumbing, and the greatest
+cities becoming desolate, and did we not reflect that, but for such
+vicissitudes, mankind must have attained a far greater degree of
+excellence than has been reached at the present day.
+
+The first kind of composition attempted by the mind of man is that which
+expresses religious feelings, and the idea that there exists a being
+greater than himself. That dim searching after something beyond
+experience could seldom confine itself to its legitimate direction, but
+by dreams and hopes, and by the love of the marvellous--that early
+source of idealism--strayed into a variety of fabulous and legendary
+mazes. Hence arose all the strange and grotesque myths about heathen
+gods and Christian saints which occupy the shadowy borders between
+chaos and history. The stories which were current in this country in
+early times spoke of miracles worked by the Virgin, represented St.
+Christopher as a giant twenty-four feet high, and related how "Seynt
+Pateryk" banished the "wormes" from Ireland; or sometimes would draw
+from the rich mine of Rabbinical tradition such allegorical fictions as
+that, when Noah planted the vine, Satan was present and sacrificed a
+sheep, a lion, an ape, and a sow, representing the different stages of
+inebriety.[34]
+
+But man's awakening thoughts turn not only to his Protector above, but
+also to his enemies below, and thus the exploits of warlike heroes, who
+generally combine the religious with the military character, easily
+became tempting themes for the exercise of fancy.
+
+There is reason to believe that the earliest British legends recorded
+the glories of King Arthur--the defender of Christianity against the
+worshippers of Odin. The origin of these accounts have been traced by
+some to Scandinavian, by some to Arabian sources, but we may suppose
+them to have arisen among those ancient British people who inhabited
+Wales and Cornwall,[35] and passed over in the fifth and sixth centuries
+to Brittany (Armorica). It matters little for our present purpose whence
+they came, they were full of extravagant and supernatural occurrences.
+The names of two shadowy warriors, Sir Bevis and Sir Guy, seem to have
+been handed down from Saxon times, probably by oral tradition; the
+former is said to have performed prodigies of valour in the South, and
+the latter in the North of England. The literature which has come down
+to us from this date (with the exception of an ode of triumph) is purely
+of a religious character, and adorned with a variety of miraculous
+circumstances--a considerable part of it consists of the hymns of
+Cædmon, an ignorant cowherd, who was inspired to sing by an angel
+appearing to him in a vision.
+
+Bede's Ecclesiastical History is full of strange stories, and although
+Acca, his contemporary, adorned his cathedral of Hexham in
+Northumberland with what was then considered to be a magnificent
+library, it was entirely composed of histories of the Apostles and
+martyrs to whose relics he had dedicated the altars of his church.[36]
+Meanwhile, the glorification of Charlemagne and his paladins, the great
+champions of Christendom, exercised the invention of the minstrels of
+France. But activity of mind increasing, additional subjects for
+entertainment were demanded, and the old pagan kings and heroes appeared
+in entirely new characters. The marvellous and magnificent career of
+Alexander the Great seemed to invite a little additional ornamentation,
+and the Roman Emperors were introduced in very fantastic habiliments.
+
+It would seem that traditional accounts of Roman times had been
+preserved in some of the Western monasteries, as well as portions of the
+old Homeric and mythological history in Latin translations[37]--Greek
+had been fading out of Europe since the time of Theodosius. No doubt
+there were still here and there a few genuine classical books, and we
+hear of Aristotle being prized--the obscurity and subtlety of his works
+having led to his being now regarded as a magician.
+
+The following will give some idea of the kind of stories then
+appreciated. A beautiful princess, nourished with poison, was sent as a
+present to Alexander. Aristotle discovered the danger, and a slave was
+ordered to kiss her, who immediately fell down dead.
+
+The gigantic body of Pallas, the son of Evander, was found at Rome. It
+exceeded in height the walls of the city, and had remained uncorrupted,
+and accompanied with a burning lamp for two hundred and forty years. His
+wound was fresh, and we may suppose caused instant death, for it was
+four feet and a half long.
+
+Magical rings are often mentioned. There is some pretty sentiment in the
+story of Vespasian and a wife whom he had married in a distant country.
+She refuses to return home with him, and yet declares that she will kill
+herself if he leaves her. The Emperor orders two rings to be made, one
+bearing the image of Oblivion, the other that of Memory. The former he
+gives to the Empress, the latter he wears himself.
+
+Virgil, who is represented as an enchanter, places a magical image in
+the centre of Rome, which every day communicates to the Emperor Titus
+all the secret offences committed in the city.
+
+From such fanciful sources, and with a discrimination such as they
+display, Geoffrey of Monmouth drew up in the eleventh century a fabulous
+history of England. His story of Gogmagog, the British giant, supposed
+to have been destroyed by Brutus, the great grandson of Æneas, on his
+landing in this country, is said to have been derived from that of two
+Arabian giants Gog and Magog. The stones which compose Stonehenge, each
+containing some medicinal virtue, are fabled to have been transported by
+giants from the deserts of Africa to Ireland, and to have been carried
+thence by Merlin's enchantment to form a monument over the British slain
+by Hengist. The state of criticism existing at this time may be imagined
+from the fact that even afterwards, in the reign of Edward I., the
+descent of the Britons from the Trojans through Brutus was solemnly
+alleged in a controversy of great importance concerning the subjection
+of the crown of England to that of Scotland, showing an amount of
+credulity which might almost have credited the legend that St. James,
+mounted on horseback, led the Christian armies in Spain in their battles
+against the Moors, or that there was in that country a golden image of
+Mahomet as high as a bird could fly, in which the false prophet had
+sealed up a legion of devils.
+
+But the imaginative powers were soon to be developed upon more
+attractive themes. War and Religion were about to be blended in the
+grand drama of the Crusades, prompted alike by zeal for the faith, by
+hatred of the Moslem, and by thirst for military glory. The first nobles
+of the West arrayed themselves in their armour, collected their
+retainers, and set out for the lands of the rising sun. Here they came
+into contact with an Eastern civilization, ornate and dazzling, superior
+to their own, but still in a state of childhood, and revelling in the
+fanciful creations which please the infantine mind.[38] Foremost among
+the Christian knights went the Barons of Provence, accompanied by troops
+of minstrels--troubadours to sing their praises; and we might well
+suppose that some of the wonders of the dreaming East would now find
+their way into Europe, interwoven with the doughty deeds of the
+Christian heroes. This view is corroborated by the fact that almost all
+our early romances recount some great exploits performed against the
+Saracens; but the marvels they relate, from whatever source they come,
+were in accordance with the times in which they were written, for as
+alchemy preceded chemistry, so romance-writing was the commencement of
+literature. Some of the Arabian stories had considerable grace and
+beauty, and are even now attractive to the young. But whether our poets
+borrowed from this prolific source or not, it is certain that about this
+time they became more ambitious, and produced regular tales of
+considerable length, in which the northern gallantry towards the fair
+sex was combined with extravagances resembling those of Eastern
+invention.
+
+Not until this time were the early heroic legends of this country
+developed, and committed to writing, and as they appeared first in
+French, some writers--among whom is Ritson--have concluded that they
+were merely the offspring of our neighbours' fertile imagination. But
+although the poets who recounted these stories wrote in French, they
+were in attendance at the English Court, in which, even before the
+Conquest, French was the language used, while Latin was that of the
+learned, and Saxon that of the country-people. Henry the First, the
+great patron of letters, sometimes held his Court at Caen, so that the
+Norman poets who were competing for his favour, were doubtless familiar
+with the legendary history of England. The first important works in the
+French language seem to have come from Normandy, and it is not
+improbable that some of them were written in England. They were called
+romances, because they were composed in one of the languages of Southern
+Europe, containing a large element of the Roman, which we find was still
+used among the soldiery as late as the seventh century. It has been
+supposed that all our early Anglo-Norman romances were translations from
+the French, except the "Squyr of Lowe Degre," and of some the originals
+are still extant.
+
+These productions, from whatever source they came, were the kind of
+literature most acceptable at the time. There seemed then nothing harsh
+or contemptibly puerile in stories we should now relegate to the
+nursery, and no doubt people derived an amusement from them, for which
+that of humour was afterwards gradually substituted.
+
+Examples of such stories are found in that of Robert, King of Sicily,
+who for his pride was changed, like Nebuchadnezzar, into one of the
+lower animals, and in that of Richard "Coeur de Lion," who rode a
+horse possessed by the devil, and whose wife flew away like a bird.
+
+In the romance of Sir Bevis of Hamtoun, (Earl of Southampton,) he is
+represented as a kind of infant Hercules, who, when fifteen, killed
+sixty Saracen knights. He afterwards was imprisoned at Damascus in a den
+with two dragons, but destroyed them. He was kept in a dungeon, however,
+and
+
+  "Rats and mice, and such small deer,
+   Was his meat that seven year."
+
+During this time he was cheered by an angel visiting him. An adversary
+shortly appears in Ascapard:
+
+  "This geaunt was mighty and strong,
+   And full thirty foot was long,
+   He was bristled like a sow;
+   A foot he had between each brow.
+   His lips were great, and hung aside,
+   His eyen were hollow, his mouth was wide,
+   Lothy he was to look on than,
+   And liker a devil than a man."
+
+He was overcome, and became page to Sir Bevis. Ascapard is very useful,
+as he is able to take Bevis, Josyan, and even the horse Arundel under
+his arm. An attempt at humour is introduced here, which is said to have
+amused the people of Cologne. The bishop prepared to christen the giant,
+
+  "For Ascapard was made a tun,
+   And when he should therein be done,
+   He lept out upon the brench (brink)
+   And said, 'Churl! wilt thou me drench?
+   The devil of hell mote fetche thee!
+   I am too much (big) christened to be!'"
+
+We will finish this sketch of the romancing tendencies of our early
+literature by a description of a dragon from "Sir Degoré:"
+
+  "There was a dragon great and grymme,
+   Full of fyre, and also venymme,
+   Wyth a wyde throte, and tuskes grete,
+   Uppon that knygte fast gan he bete,
+   And as a lyon then was hys feete,
+   Hys tayle was long, and full unmeete;
+   Between hys head and hys tayle
+   Was xxii fote withouten fayle;
+   His body was lyke a wyne tonne,
+   He shone ful bryght agaynst the sunne;
+   Hys eyen were bryght as any glasse,
+   Hys scales were hard as any brasse:
+   And thereto he was necked lyke a horse,
+   He bore hys hed up wyth grete force;
+   The breth of hys mouth that did not blow
+   As yt had been a fyre on lowe.
+   He was to loke on, as I you telle
+   As yt had been a fiende of helle."
+
+These romances were often called "Gestes," from the great "Gesta" or
+exploits they recorded.
+
+The author of "Cursor Mundi," a book of religious legends, says,
+
+  "Men lykyn jestis for to here
+   And romans rede in divers manere
+   Of Alexandre the conquerour,
+   Of Julius Cæsar the Emperour, &c."
+
+It may be doubted whether such tales as the above were ever regarded as
+true, but it was not until thought became more active that the falsity
+of them was fully appreciated, and "jests" gradually acquired their
+present signification. The word romance has also come to be used not
+only for a pleasant poetical narrative, but especially for something
+utterly devoid of truth. "Story" is used in the same sense, but not
+"novel," for in our present works of fiction there is seldom so much
+improbability as to be offensive in our day, though it may be so to our
+successors.
+
+In the above extracts it may have been observed that there is a
+prominence and importance given to the lower animals which we should not
+find in writings of the present day. As civilization fell back into
+barbarism, fables re-appeared, and some indifferent literature of this
+kind was produced in the fourth century by Aphthonius in Greek, and
+afterwards by Flavius Avianus in Latin. In the Saxon ode on the victory
+of Athelstan, a very particular account is given of the beasts of prey
+present at the carnage.
+
+Theodosius, the blind Emperor, is said to have been restored to sight by
+a serpent, whom he had benefited, coming in while he was asleep, and
+placing a precious stone upon his eyes. In one of the early romances of
+Marie, a baron is transformed into a bisclaveret,[39] or wolf, for three
+days every week, much to his wife's discomfort; in another a falcon
+changes into a knight, who is finally caught in a bird-trap; in another
+a lady falls into a trance, and is supposed to be dead, until her rival,
+seeing a weasel restore another one by placing a vermilion flower in its
+mouth, she places it in the lady's mouth and thus awakens her. The same
+element is largely present in the other romances.
+
+Alexander Neckam, who lived in the latter part of the twelfth century,
+shows how fond our forefathers were of animals, and how they kept them
+in their houses. The castles were often full of them, some roving about,
+others necessarily in confinement. Monkeys were in high favour. Some of
+them were taught to fight as in a tournament, which we are told caused
+great laughter. In mediæval times there was a love of all kinds of
+hybrid animals, and there was a certain amount of belief that all sorts
+of monsters came from the East or North. Giraldus Cambrensis tells us
+that there were in Ireland such mixtures as half ox and half man, half
+dog and half monkey.
+
+All these stories remind us of the fabular period in old Greek history,
+and bespeak a time, when both taste and knowledge were in their infancy;
+but when, at the same time, the rays of the ideal were breaking upon the
+mind, and "men appeared as trees walking."
+
+Allied to a love of fabling was that of allegory, which, as soon as
+literary activity began to appear in the early church, produced an
+abundant harvest. This tendency exhibited itself in the first progress
+of thought in England. Philippe de Than, one of the most ancient
+Anglo-Norman poets, wrote a work describing the character of each bird
+and beast, upon which he grounded moral reflections. Robert Grosseteste,
+Bishop of Lincoln, who died in 1253, was celebrated for a copious
+dissertation on mystical divinity, and a poem is extant ascribed to him,
+called the "Castle of Love" by Leland, in which the creation and
+redemption are represented as an allegory--our Lord being supposed to
+enter a magnificent castle, the body of the Virgin. The "Gesta
+Romanorum" strongly exhibits the want of discrimination at this time,
+for although the dramatis personæ are generally Roman Emperors, the
+deepest Christian mysteries are supposed to be shadowed forth by their
+actions. Some of the stories are evidently invented to enforce religious
+teaching. We read of an angel accompanying a hermit on his wanderings,
+the angel robs or murders all who receive him, but explains afterwards
+that it is for their good. He gives a golden goblet to a rich man who
+refuses to entertain them, to comfort him in this world, as he will go
+to hell in the next.
+
+Vincent of Beauvais, a learned Dominican of France, who flourished in
+the thirteenth century, observes that it was a practice of preachers to
+rouse their congregation by relating a fable of Æsop. In the British
+Museum there is a collection of two hundred and fifteen stories,
+romantic, allegorical, and legendary, evidently compiled for the use of
+monastic preachers. Mystic similitudes were at this time greatly
+affected in all branches of learning. In the "Romaunt of the Rose," the
+difficulties of a lover are represented under the form of a man seeking
+a rose in an inaccessible garden. This flower, alchemists considered to
+be emblematic of the Philosopher's Stone, while theologians referred it
+to the white rose of Jericho--a state of grace into which the wicked
+could not enter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+Anglo-Saxon Humour--Rhyme--Satires against the Church--The
+  Brunellus--Walter Mapes--Goliardi--Piers the Ploughman--Letters of
+  Obscure Men--Erasmus--The Praise of Folly--Skelton--The Ship of
+  Fools--Doctour Doubble Ale--The Sak full of Nuez--Church
+  Ornamentation--Representations of the Devil.
+
+
+The rude character of the Anglo-Saxon humour may be gathered from our
+having derived from it the word _fun_. This term which we often apply to
+romping and boisterous games, refers principally to the sense of
+feeling, and always implies some low kind of amusement connected with
+the senses. We also discover among the Anglo-Saxons an unamiable
+tendency to give nicknames to people from their personal peculiarities.
+But if we look for anything better, we can find only a translation of
+the Latin riddles of Symposius by Aldhelm, Bishop of Shirburn. This
+prelate, who was a relation of Ina, King of the West Saxons, was in
+attainments far superior to his age. He was celebrated as a harper,
+poet, and theologian, and wrote several works, especially one in praise
+of Virginity. His translations from Symposius were probably intended
+for the post-prandial delectation of the monks.
+
+Aristophanes seems to have made the first approach to rhyming, for he
+introduced some repetitions of the same word at the end of lines. He
+probably thought the device had an absurd effect and used it as a kind
+of humour. Aulus Gellius blames Isocrates, who lived about 400
+B.C., for introducing jingles into his orations, and as he also
+refers to Lucilius' condemnation of them, he would probably have
+objected to them in poetry.
+
+Classic Latin versification is supposed to have died out with
+Fortunatus, Bishop of Poitiers in the sixth century, but an advance was
+made towards playing with words by the introduction of rhymes in the
+church hymns. Some trace of them is found in the verses of Hilary in the
+fourth century, but we find them first regularly adopted in a Latin
+panegyric written for Clotaire II. in France at the commencement of the
+seventh. Some suppose that "Leonine verses" were invented shortly
+afterwards by Pope Leo II. As in the days of Greece and Rome, the
+development of poetry was accompanied by a considerable activity in the
+fabrication of metres. This did not limit itself to a distich or
+alternate rhyme called "tailed" or "interlaced," but included the
+"horned," "crested," and "squared" verses--the last forming double
+acrostics. Sometimes half a dozen lines were made to rhyme together.
+This movement, pedantic as it was, showed an advance in finding
+similarities in things dissimilar, a change in the appreciation of the
+harmony. Previously rhymes were considered ludicrous, as they seem to us
+now in prose, and even in the French drama. The old Welsh poetry
+depended merely upon alliteration--as in the words ascribed to the
+British Queen--
+
+  "Ruin seize thee, ruthless king."
+
+And among our old proverbs we have "Many men of many minds." "Fools
+build houses, for wise men to live in." "First come, first served." The
+motto of the Duke of Athole runs "Furth fortune and fill the fetters."
+
+The "Exeter Book," presented to his cathedral by Leofric, first Bishop
+of Exeter in 1046 deserves notice, as indicative of the course of early
+Anglo-Saxon literature. Here we have first religious meditations and
+legends of Saints, then proverbial, or as they are called "gnomic"
+verses, next allegorical descriptions by means of animals, and finally
+riddles. The last are very long, and generally consist of emblematic
+descriptions.
+
+It is a part of the great system of compensation under which we live,
+that those who are most highly praised are most exposed to the attacks
+of the envious, and that those who stand on an eminence above others
+should have their bad as well as their good deeds recorded. And thus we
+find that the earliest shafts of censure were directed against princes
+and priests, and the first Norman satires of which we hear were some
+songs called Sirventois, against Arnould, who was chaplain to Robert
+Courthose in the time of William Rufus. He was apparently an excellent
+man, established schools at Caen, and was afterwards promoted to be
+patriarch of Jerusalem. The next attack of which we have any record was
+that made by Luc de la Barr against Henry I. The nature of the
+imputations it contained may be conjectured from the fact, that the king
+ordered the writer's eyes to be put out. Another satire was directed
+against Richard, "King of the Romans," who was taken prisoner at Lewes.
+It was written to triumph over him, and taunt him with his defeat, and
+the nearest approach to humour in it is where it speaks of his making a
+castle of a windmill, which is supposed to refer to his having been
+captured in such a building. The humour in the satires of this time was
+almost entirely of a hostile or optical character. We have two metrical
+ballads of the thirteenth century directed against the Scotch and
+French, but containing little but animosity. There is also one
+complaining of heavy taxation in the reign of Edward I., but generally
+the church was attacked, as the clergy formed a prominent mark in every
+parish in the country, and were safer game than the king or barons.
+Thus, in the Harleian MSS., there is an ancient French poem pretending
+to eulogise a new conventual order for both men and women, who are to
+live together in great luxury and be bound to perpetual idleness.
+Several monasteries in England are mentioned as affording instances of
+such a mode of living.
+
+The earliest literary assault we have on the church in this country was
+written probably in the thirteenth century--Warton says, soon after the
+conquest--in a mixture of Saxon and Norman. A monastery, composed of
+various kinds of gems and delicacies, represents the luxury of the
+monks--
+
+  "Fur in see, bi west Spayngne
+   Is a lond ihote Cokaygne:
+   Ther nis lond under heuen-riche
+   Of wel of godness hit iliche.
+
+  "Ther is a wel fair abbei,
+   Of white monkes and of grei,
+   Ther beth bowris and halles
+   Al of pasteiis beth the walles
+   Of fleis, of fisse, and rich met,
+   The likfullist that man mai et.
+   Fluren cakes beth the schingles[40] alle
+   Of cherche, cloister, boure, and halle.
+   The pinnes[41] beth fat podinges
+   Rich met to princez and kinges.
+
+  "An other abbei is ther bi
+   For soth a gret fair nunnerie;
+   Vp a riuer of sweet milke,
+   Whar is gret plente of silk."
+
+He goes on to speak of the monks and nuns as dancing together in a very
+indecorous manner.
+
+The clergy were often humorous themselves--Nigellus Wireker, a monk of
+Canterbury, who is supposed to have lived in the time of Richard I.,
+wrote a very amusing attack on his brethren. It is in Latin elegiac
+verse, and as being directed against ambition and discontent may be
+compared with the first satire of Horace. But he wrote in a less
+advanced state of civilisation to that in which the Roman poet lived,
+and he carries on his discourse by means of conversations of animals.
+The work is called the Brunellus--the name of an ass.
+
+The poem is directed against passion and avarice--and especially against
+the monks, who, he says deserve to be called pastors, not _a pascendo_
+but _a poscendo_. But he takes so much interest in the animals he
+introduces, that he seems to lose sight of his moral object. He delights
+in the speeches of a cock and crow, but his main story is that the ass,
+Brunellus, is dissatisfied, because, having long ears he thinks he ought
+to have a long tail. He betakes himself to Galienus to consult him, who
+endeavours to dissuade him from adopting any surgical or medical means,
+and reminds him that if he has a short tail he has a very large head. He
+inculcates contentment by a story of two cows, one of which, through
+impatience when her tail has stuck in the mud, says it is not an
+_honour_ but an _onus_, and so pulls it off, and becomes a laughing
+stock to the world. The other cow waits patiently, and makes a long
+speech containing references to Cato and the Trojan war.
+
+Prescription given by Galienus to the ass Brunellus to make his tail
+grow:
+
+  "Some marble's fat and seven fold furnace shade
+     The offspring of a male and female mule,
+   A little of the milk of goose and kite
+     A punchbowl's racing, and a wolf's alarms;
+   Of dogs and hares alliance take a drachm,
+     And kisses which the lark gives to her hawk."
+
+The ass begs Galienus to bestow upon him his blessing, which he does
+with mock gravity--
+
+  "May Jove to thee a thousand omens give,
+   And to thy tail ten thousand omens more;
+   Mayst thou drink water, and on thistles feed,
+   Be thy bed marble, and thy covering dew.
+   May hail and snow and rain be ever near,
+   Ice and hoar frost thy constant comfort be!"
+
+The ass, whose extraordinary performances are narrated, is appointed the
+"nuntius" of a bishop.
+
+The man who showed at this time the greatest judgment in humour and
+insight into its nature, was John of Salisbury. His Polycraticus is
+worthy of a religious character; but he speaks in it of "Court Trifles"
+under which he places dice, music and dreams. Many of his observations
+show a taste and knowledge in advance of his time. "Our age," he says,
+"has fallen back to fables," and he speaks as though the jesters of the
+day indulged in very questionable jokes and performances. He notices the
+force of a jest made by a man who would himself fall under it, as when a
+pauper laughs at poverty. Also he refers to the effect of accusing a man
+of the faults to which his virtues may lead, as of telling a liberal man
+he is a spendthrift. "So Diogenes told Antisthenes, his master, that he
+had made him a doctor instead of a rich man--a dweller in a tub, instead
+of in a mansion." Well-timed pleasantries, he says, are of use in
+oratory, but convivial jesting is dangerous, remarks or personal defects
+are objectionable, and as Lycurgus ordered, all jokes should be without
+bitterness.
+
+But Walter Mapes seems to have been the first man of note, who
+reconciled "divinity and wit." He was born on the borders of Wales about
+the beginning of the twelvth century, and having studied at the
+University of Paris became a favourite of Henry II., and was made a
+Canon of St. Paul's, and Archdeacon of Oxford. It may be worth notice
+that his name was really a monosyllable, "Map," a man's appellation
+being not always without influence in determining his character and
+conduct. From being a man of humour he obtained the credit of being a
+man of pleasure, but as far as we can collect from the writings, which
+are with certainty attributed to him, he was strongly imbued with
+religious feelings. He delights to recount the miracles of saints. Peter
+of Tarentaise exorcised, he tells us, a devil from one possessed, and
+the man proved his cure by exclaiming, "Mother of God, have mercy upon
+me!" whereupon John the bishop said of Peter. "This is the only
+bishop--the rest of us are dogs unable to bark." Mapes also reflects the
+credulity of the age in which he lived, by narrating extraordinary
+stories of infidels walking about after death, and calling people by
+name, who always died shortly afterwards. He gives us a collection of
+Welsh "apparitions."
+
+We must suppose that even at that day there was something peculiarly
+fanciful in the mind of the man who collected such tales. But, although
+he commends his favourite saints as being jocund and pleasant men, we
+are disappointed when we look for his own wit. It is either verbal or
+sententious, and does not rise higher than, "Few things are impossible
+to women." "May God omnipotent grant you not to be deceived by woman
+omnipotent." "The dog does not gnaw a dry bone, nor the leech stick to
+an empty vein." His "Mirror of the Church" is full of violent attacks
+upon the monastic orders, especially the Cistercian, evidently written
+in serious indignation, although he sometimes indulges in a play upon
+words. In this he was unlike many writers, who attacked the monks merely
+to amuse, for which there was a good opening, as the brethren, though in
+some cases weak, were generally viewed with respect, and tales about
+them were easily regarded as humorous. There is a story of Walter Mapes
+having been called to see a Cistercian Abbot, when dangerously ill, and
+the Archdeacon recommended him to quit his order, and give up avarice
+and rapacity. The Abbot refused, and even administered to the Archdeacon
+the rebuke, "Get thee behind me, Satan." Shortly afterwards Mapes was
+taken ill, and the Abbot going to visit him, strongly recommended him to
+renounce his light jesting habits, to give up his pluralities, and take
+refuge in the bosom of the Cistercian order--at the same time producing
+a gown and cowl, with which he proposed to invest him. Mapes, with
+characteristic humour called his servants, and told them that, if ever
+in a fit of sickness he expressed a desire of becoming a monk, they
+were to consider it a sign that he had lost his senses, and keep him in
+close confinement.
+
+The character which Mapes obtained for himself, caused a large amount of
+poetry of a somewhat later date to be attributed to him. It is called
+"Goliardic," as it gives the views of a class of wild ecclesiastical or
+University men, who spent their time in composing lampoons, and were
+called Goliards, from their supposed gluttony. In an epigram, one of
+these men is represented coming to a bishop's palace, and stating that
+he is "all ready to dine," somewhat in the way of the old Greek
+parasites. The bishop tells him he does not want such disreputable
+company, but that as he has come, he may have his food. We may suppose,
+however, that he and his poorer brethren did not occupy any dignified
+position at the repast, as one of them complains
+
+  "Abbas ire sede sursum,
+   Et prioris juxta ipsum,
+   Ego semper stavi dorsum
+           Inter rascalilia."
+
+All these poems are in Latin rhyme. Two of them are especially
+attributed to Mapes. One is "on not marrying;" Golias here sets forth a
+very appalling catalogue of the miseries of matrimony. The husband is a
+donkey who is spurned by his wife. Her tongue is a sword. He thanks
+heaven he has escaped from the danger he was once in from the
+fascinations of a beautiful lady. The other piece is the "Confessions of
+Golias," which are very frank with regard to various unclerical
+weaknesses. Some of the stanzas may be translated as follows,
+
+  "I purpose in a tavern to die,
+   Place to my dying lips the flowing bowl,
+   May choirs of angels coming from on high
+   Sing, 'God be gracious to the toper's soul.'[42]
+
+  "The race of poets shun both drink and food,
+   Avoid disputes, withdraw from public strife,
+   And to make verses that shall long hold good
+   O'ercome with labour, sacrifice their life.
+
+  "Nature allots to each his proper course,
+   In hunger I could never use my ink,
+   The smallest boy then equals me in force,
+   I hate as death the want of food and drink."
+
+In one of these poems, Golias calls down every kind of misery, spiritual
+and temporal, upon the man who has stolen his purse. He hopes he may die
+of fever and madness, and be joined to Judas in hell. One of the most
+amusing pieces is a consultation held among the priests, on account of
+the Pope having ordered them to dismiss their women-servants. They
+finally come to the conclusion that parish priests should be allowed two
+wives, monks and canons three, and deans and bishops four or five. We
+are not surprised to hear that such effusions as these called down the
+displeasure of the heads of the Church, and in 1289, a statute was
+published that no clerks should be "joculatores, goliardi seu bufones."
+
+About the middle of the fourteenth century, a French monk, Robert
+Langlande, wrote the "Vision of Piers Plowman," an account of a dream he
+is supposed to have had when among the Malvern Hills. It is possible
+that the sight of the grand old abbey may have suggested his theme, for
+he inveighs not only against the laity, but especially against the
+ecclesiastics for their neglect of the poor. The poem is remarkable for
+being without rhythm, but alliterative, such as was common in the
+neighbouring district of Wales. It somewhat resembles one of the old
+"Mysteries," introducing a variety of allegorical characters. Some of
+the personifications are very strange. He says that,
+
+  "Dowel and Dobet and Dobest the thirde coth he
+   Arn thre fair vertues and ben not fer to fynde."
+
+  "Dobest is above bothe, and berith a bieschopis crois
+   And is hokid on that on ende to halie men fro helle
+   And a pike is in the poynt to putte adon the wyked."
+
+In another place, the effects of starvation are described "both the
+man's eiyen wattred," and "he loked like a lanterne."
+
+In another work by the same hand, "Piers, the Ploughman's crede," the
+author--a simple man--wishes to know how he is to follow Christ, and
+betakes himself to the friars for information. But he finds that each
+order thinks of little beyond railing against some other. The friars
+preachers are thus described,
+
+  "Than turned I ayen whan I hadde al ytoted
+   And fond in a freitoure a frere on a benche
+   A greet chorl and a grym, growen as a tonne,
+   With a face so fat, as a ful bleddere
+   Blowen bretful of breth, and as a bagge honged."
+
+All the humour of Piers the Ploughman seems to be more or less of this
+personal kind.
+
+We must here notice the humorous though scurrilous attack made upon the
+Roman clergy in the "Letters of Obscure Men," published in Germany at
+the commencement of the sixteenth century. There was something novel in
+the idea of a series of ironical letters, and from their appearance, the
+steady progress of the Reformation may be dated. The greater part of
+them seems to have been written by Ulrich von Hutten, and are addressed
+to Ortuin Gratius, a professor of the University of Cologne, who had
+attacked Reuchlin, a celebrated Hebraist. The original quarrel was only
+about some translations of Rabbinical works, but it extended into a
+contest between the Church party, represented by Gratius, and those
+desirous of reformation. Doctrine is scarcely touched upon in these
+letters, but accusations of immorality abound. There is great variety
+in the plan upon which the irony and satire are conducted. For instance,
+the writer says he has just heard from Gratius that he is sending
+flowers and gifts to another man's wife. "Reuchlin has written a defence
+of himself against Gratius, in which he calls him an ass. Reuchlin ought
+to be burnt with his book. Some people say the monks are grossly
+dishonest--it is a horrible lie. A preacher, after taking a little too
+much wine, has actually said that the principals of the University are
+given to drink and play. Some profane men say that the coat of our Lord
+at Treves is not genuine, but only an old rag; he does not believe there
+is now any hair of the Virgin in the world; and the preaching friars who
+sell indulgences are only a set of buffoons who deceive old apple-women.
+Another fool says that the preaching friars committed fearful
+abominations at Berne, and one day put poison into the consecrated
+elements. A great calamity has happened! A thief has stolen three
+hundred florins, which the preachers had gained by the sale of
+indulgences. The people who gave the money are in sad trouble to know
+whether they still have absolution--they need not be alarmed, they have
+as much as they had before they gave their money to the friars. Query.
+Is it a sin to play at dice in order to buy indulgences? Gratius, in a
+letter to another Father of the Church, expresses his astonishment at
+hearing that he thinks so much about the ladies. Such thoughts come from
+the devil; wherever they are suggested, he must make the sign of the
+cross on his back, and put a pinch of blessed salt on his tongue. Women
+make him ill by employing charms and sorceries against him; it is no
+wonder, for he has grey hair and eyes, a red face, a large nose, and a
+corporation. No man should ever make use of necromancy to obtain a
+woman's love, for a student of theology once fell in love with a baker's
+daughter at Leipzig, and threw an enchanted apple at her,[43] which
+caused her to fall violently in love with him, and finally led to a
+scandal in the church."
+
+No one enjoyed these epistles more thoroughly than Erasmus,[44] who,
+perhaps, from being himself a monk, appreciated them the better. He is
+said to have laughed so immoderately over some parts of them, that he
+burst an abscess, which might have proved fatal to him. He was one of
+those few celebrated men who combine both humour and learning, and he
+seems to have imbibed somewhat of the spirit of Lucian, whose works he
+translated, and who also lived in an age of religious controversy and
+transition. There was such a love of amusement, and so little
+earnestness in Erasmus, that he could laugh on both sides of the
+question, with the Reformers and against them. When the monks told him
+that Luther had married a nun, and that the offspring of such an unholy
+alliance must needs be Antichrist, he merely replied: "Already are there
+many Antichrists!" Writing to a zealous Catholic in London, he says
+"that he grudges the heretics their due, because that, whereas winter is
+approaching, it will raise the price of fagots." In another place he
+attacks dignities: "No situation," he says, "could be more wretched than
+that of the vicegerents of Christ, if they endeavoured to follow
+Christ's life." There was scarcely anything sacred or profane which was
+safe from the lash of his ridicule, and if, as some say, he sowed the
+seeds of the Reformation, it was mostly because he could not resist the
+temptation to laugh at the clergy. He wrote a very characteristic Work
+entitled "The Praise of Folly," "Encomium Moriæ" (a play on the name of
+Sir Thomas More), in which he maintains a sort of paradox, setting forth
+the value and advantages of folly, _i.e._, of indulging the light
+fancies and errors of imagination. With much humorous illustration he
+enumerates a great many conceits, and includes among them jests, but his
+main argument may be thus condensed.[45]
+
+"Who knows not that man's childhood is by far the most delightful period
+of his existence? And why? Because he is then most a fool. And next to
+that his youth, in which folly still prevails; while in proportion as he
+retires from her dominion, and becomes possessed through discipline and
+experience of mature wisdom, his beauty loses its bloom, his strength
+declines, his wit becomes less pungent, until at last weary old age
+succeeds, which would be absolutely unbearable, unless folly, in pity
+for such grievous miseries, gave relief by bringing on a second
+childhood. Nature herself has kindly provided for an abundant supply of
+folly in the human race, for since, according to the Stoic definition,
+wisdom means only being guided by reason; whereas folly, on the other
+hand, consists in submitting to the government of the passions; Jupiter
+wishing to make life merry, gave men far more passion than reason,
+banishing the latter into one little corner of his person, and leaving
+all the rest of the body to the sway of the former. Man, however, being
+designed for the arrangement of affairs, could not do without a small
+quantity of reason, but in order to temper the evil thus occasioned, at
+the suggestion of folly woman was introduced into the world--"a foolish,
+silly creature, no doubt, but amusing, agreeable, and well adapted to
+mitigate the gloom of man's temper." Woman owes all her advantages to
+folly. The great end of her existence is to please man, and this she
+could not do without folly. If any man doubts it, he has only to
+consider how much nonsense he talks to a woman whenever he wishes to
+enjoy the pleasures of female society."
+
+Erasmus wrote an ode in honour of Henry VII. and his children, and in it
+he recommends him to keep with him Skelton, "the one light and ornament
+of British literature." He says that no doubt the advice is unnecessary,
+as he hears the King is most anxious to retain his services. He was
+tutor to the young prince--afterwards Henry VIII. Skelton was born about
+1460. Many of his humorous writings are lost, such as "The Balade of the
+Mustarde Tarte." He became a "poet laureate," at that time a degree in
+grammar, rhetoric and versification, on taking which, the graduate was
+presented with a laurel crown. Having taken orders in 1498, he was
+afterwards suspended for living with a lady whom he had secretly
+married. This suspension was much owing to his having incurred the anger
+of the Dominican Friars, whom he had attacked in his writings. We are
+told that he was esteemed more fit for the stage than the pulpit. The
+humour of Skelton consists principally of severe personal vituperation.
+In "Colyn Cloute" he assailed the clergy generally, but he wrote
+personal attacks on Garnesche (a courtier), and on Wolsey. The Cardinal
+had been his patron at one time, and Skelton had dedicated poems to him,
+among them "A Replycacion" against the followers of Wickliffe and
+Luther--of which pious effusion the following lines will give a
+specimen:--
+
+  "To the honour of our blessed lady
+   And her most blesed baby,
+   I purpose for to reply
+   Agaynst this horryble heresy
+   Of these young heretics that
+             Stynke unbrent.
+
+  "I say, thou madde marche hare,
+   I wondre how ye dare
+   Open your ianglyng iawes,
+   To preche in any clawes
+   Lyke pratynge poppyng dawes.
+
+  "I say, ye braynless beestes,
+   Why iangle you such iestes.
+   In your diuynite
+   Of Luther's affynite
+   To the people of lay fee
+   Raylying in your rages
+   To worshyppe none ymages
+   Nor do pylgrymages."
+
+The cause of his quarrel with Wolsey is not known, but he afterwards
+wrote a severe personal attack upon him entitled, "Why come ye not to
+Courte?" The tone of this effusion may be gathered from such expressions
+as:--
+
+  "God save his noble grace
+   And grant him a place
+   Endlesse to dwell,
+   With the deuyll of hell,
+   For and he were there
+   We nede neuer feere,
+   Of the fendys blake;
+   For I vndertake
+   He wolde so brag and crake,
+   That he wolde then make
+   The deuyls to quake,
+   To shudder and to shake."
+
+Owing to such attacks, he was obliged to flee and take sanctuary at
+Westminster, where he died. His most entertaining pieces are "Speke
+Parrot," "Phyllyt Sparrowe," and "Elynour Rummynge." In the first a fair
+lady laments the death of her bird, killed by "those vylanous false
+cattes." She sings a "requiescat" for the soul of her dear bird, and
+recounts all his pretty ways--
+
+  "Sometyme he wolde gaspe
+   When he sawe a waspe;
+   A fly or a gnat
+   He wolde flye at that;
+   And prytely he wold pant
+   When he saw an ant;
+   Lord, how he wolde pry
+   After the butterfly!
+   Lord, how he wolde hop
+   After the gressop,
+   And whan I said Phypp, Phypp,
+   Than he wolde lepe and skyp,
+   And take ane by the lyp.
+   Alas it will me slo
+   That Phillyp is gone we fro!"
+
+She gives a long list of birds, who are to attend at his funeral, from
+which our nursery story of cock-robin may be taken. Skelton seems to
+have been fond and observant of birds. In Speke Parrot, he thus
+describes
+
+  "With my beeke bent, my lyttyl wanton eye,
+   My fedders freshe as is the emrawde grene,
+   About my neck a cyrculet lyke the ryche rubye
+   My lyttyl leggys, my feet both fete and clene,
+   I am a mynyon to wayt uppon a quene;
+   My proper parrot my lyttyl prety foole,
+   With ladyes I lerne and go with them to scole."
+
+It will be observed that the humour in the above pieces is little
+separated from poetry. In Elynour Rummynge however, we have something
+undoubtedly jocose, and proportionally rustic and uncouth.
+
+Skelton adopted, as we have seen, a quick, short metre, somewhat
+analogous to the "Swift Iambics," of the Greek humorists. Sometimes also
+he alternated Latin with English in a conceit not very uncommon towards
+the end of the fourteenth and in the fifteenth century as--
+
+  "Freeres, freeres, wo ye be!
+     Ministri malorum,
+   For many a mannes soul bringe ye,
+     Ad poenas infernorum."
+
+No work became more popular than the Ship of Fools by Sebastian Brandt.
+It was published in Germany in 1494, and was speedily translated into
+Latin and French. Alexander Barclay altered it so considerably in the
+rendering as almost to make a new work, especially applicable to the
+state of things existing in this country. Ersch and Grüber speak of
+Brandt's fools as contemptible and loathsome, and say what he calls
+follies might be better described as sins and vices. But here and there
+we meet with touches of humour in the mishaps and absurd actions of
+those he censures. The whole work is rather of a moral and religious
+complexion, as the following heading of the poem will suggest--
+
+"Of newe fassions and disgised garmentes. Of Avaryce and prodygalyte. Of
+vnprofytable stody. Of lepynges and dauncis and Folys that pas theyr
+tyme in suche vanyte. Of Pluralitees, of flatterers, and glosers. Of the
+vyce of slouth. Of Usurers and okerers. Of the extorcion of knyghtis. Of
+follisske, cokes, and buttelers."
+
+Literature increased greatly in the fifteenth century, and began to take
+that general form it afterwards bore. One of the satires on the fashions
+of the period, which in every age seem to have afforded materials for
+mirth, begins as follows--
+
+  "Ye prowd gallonttes hertlesse
+   With your hyghe cappis witlesse,
+   And youre schort gownys thriftlesse,
+   Have brought this londe in gret hevynesse.
+   With youre longe peked schone.
+   Therfor your thrifte is almost don,
+   And with youre long here into your eyen
+   Have brought this londe to gret pyne."
+
+There is a good satire written on a priest about the time of the
+Reformation, showing considerable humour both in matter, language and
+versification. It is called "Doctor Doubble Ale."
+
+A little episode is given arising from the priest's ignorance--
+
+  "His learning is exceeding
+   Ye may know by his reading,
+   Yet coulde a cobbler's boy him tell
+   That he red a wrong gospell
+   Wherfore in dede he served him well,
+   He turned himselfe as round as a ball,
+   And with loud voyce began to call,
+   'Is there no constable among you all
+   To take this knave that doth me troble?'
+   With that all was on a hubble shubble,
+   There was drawing and dragging,
+   There was lugging and lagging,
+   And snitching and snatching,
+   And ketching and catching,
+   And so the pore ladde,
+   To the counter they had,
+   Some wolde he should be hanged,
+   Or else he shulde be wranged;
+   Some sayd it were a good turne
+   Such an heretyke to burn."
+
+A great many of the humorous poems written against the church were
+republished at the time of the Reformation to show that for centuries
+the misdoings of the clergy had been a source of comment. In "the Sak
+full of Nuez"--a rare book[46] referred to in 1575, containing a
+collection of humorous pieces of a rough and rude character--we find
+several hits at the expense of the church.
+
+"A friar used to visit the house of an old woman, who, when he was
+coming, very prudently hid whatever she had to eat. One day coming with
+some friends, he asked her if she had not some meat. And she said,
+'Nay.' 'Well,' quoth the friar, 'have you not a whetstone?' 'Yea,' quoth
+the woman, 'what will you do with it?' 'Marry,' quoth he, 'I would make
+meat thereof.' Then she brought a whetstone. He asked her likewise if
+she had not a frying-pan. 'Yea,' said she, 'but what the divil will ye
+do therewith?' 'Marry,' said the fryer, 'you shall see by and by what I
+will do with it;' and when he had the pan, he set it on the fire, and
+put the whetstone therein. 'Cocks-body,' said the woman, 'you will burn
+the pan.' 'No, no,' quoth the fryer, 'if you will give me some eggs, it
+will not burn at all.' But she would have had the pan from him, when
+that she saw the pan was in danger; but he would not let her, but still
+urged her to fetch him some eggs, which she did. 'Tush,' said the fryer,
+'here are not enow, go fetch ten or twelve.' So the good wife was
+constrayned to fetch more, for feare that the pan should burn, and when
+he had them he put them in the pan. 'Now,' quoth he, 'if you have no
+butter, the pan will burn and the eggs too.' So the good-wife, being
+very loth to have her pan burnt, and her eggs lost, she fetcht him a
+dish of butter, the which he put into the pan and made good meat
+thereof, and brought it to the table, saying, 'Much good may it do you,
+my hostess, now may you say you have eaten of a buttered whetstone.'"
+
+Another story runs as follows:--
+
+"There was a priest in the country, which had christened a child; and
+when he had christened it, he and the clerk were bidden to the drinking
+that should be there, and being there, the priest drank and made so
+merry that he was quite foxed, and thought to go home before he laid him
+down to sleep; but, having gone a little way, he grew so drousie that he
+could go no further, but laid him down by a ditch-side, so that his feet
+did hang in the water, and lying on his back, the moon shined in his
+face; thus he lay till the rest of the company came from drinking, who,
+as they came home, found the priest lying as aforesaid, and they thought
+to get him away, but do what they could, he would not rise, but said,
+'Do not meddle with me, for I lie very well, and will not stir hence
+before morning, but I pray lay some more cloathes on my feet, and blow
+out the candle.'"
+
+At first it occasions us no little surprise to find the clergy of the
+early centuries so prone to attack and ridicule one another, but we must
+remember that there was then no reading public, and that the few copies
+of books in existence were mostly within the walls of the monasteries.
+Thus, the object of these writers would be like that of St. Jerome in
+his letters, not so much to disgrace the Church as to improve its
+discipline. We can also, perhaps, understand how the conflicts between
+the parish priests and monks led them sometimes to caricature each other
+in the grotesque heads of corbels and gargoyles; nor does it surprise us
+that Luther, indignant and rude, should portray the Pope to the public
+under the form of a jackass.
+
+But how can we account for the strange and profane caricatures which are
+so numerous in the stone and wood carvings of our cathedrals? In the
+scriptural ornamentation of the thirteenth century in Strasburg
+Cathedral, there was the representation of a funeral performed by
+animals--a hare carried the taper, a wolf the cross, and a bear the holy
+water--while in another place a stag was celebrating mass, and an ass
+reading the gospel. We often find carvings in which foxes are habited as
+ecclesiastics, sometimes accompanied by geese, who represent their
+flock, and thus we can understand the significance of the design in
+Sherborne Minster and Wellingborough, where two geese are hanging a fox.
+
+In St. Mary's, Beverley, are two foxes dressed as ecclesiastics, each
+holding a pastoral staff, while a goose's head is peeping out of his
+hood. At Boston Church we find a fox in a cope and episcopal vestments,
+seated on a throne, and holding a pastoral staff, while on the right is
+an ass holding a book for the bishop to read. The fact was that no means
+were left untried by the Church to make converts and to obtain a hold on
+the people. They wished to render religion as attractive as possible,
+and perhaps to direct and control tendencies which they could not
+destroy. It was then a favourite doctrine that the end justified the
+means--the Roman Church instituted persecutions, adopted heathen rites,
+and ordained fasts and festivals to impress the mind. It is recorded
+that Theophylact of Constantinople introduced into the Church, in the
+tenth century, the licentious "Feast of Fools," to wean the people from
+the revels of their old religion, and have we not until late years
+celebrated the Nativity of our Lord, not only by games and frolics, but
+gluttony and drunkenness, and riotous proceedings, under pagan misletoe!
+I believe that among the masses of the people the Roman saturnalia still
+survive. We need not then be surprised that the early Christians tried
+to recommend religion by unsuitable ornamentation. They adopted all
+kinds of floral designs, they represented fables and romances. In the
+old church of Budleigh, in Devonshire--which Sir Walter Raleigh
+attended, and where his head is buried--all kinds of devices are
+represented on the pews, from a pair of scissors to a man-of-war,
+including a cook holding a sheep by the tail. It was only a step from
+this to introduce humour, and as men's feelings had not then been
+chastened or brought into order by reflection, they probably overlooked
+the lowering tendencies of levity. Those who came to laugh, might remain
+to pray, and so a strange crop of incongruities germinated upon the
+sacred soil. Thus, in Beverley Minster, we have a monkey riding upon a
+hare--a bedridden goat, with a monkey acting as doctor; and at
+Winchester a boar is playing on the fiddle, while a young pig is
+dancing.[47] Even scenes of drunkenness and immorality are not always
+excluded. But the principal representations attributed human actions to
+birds and beasts--people who could laugh at stories of this kind, could
+also at depictions of them. It may be maintained that men were then
+highly emotional, and demanded but little complexity or truth in humour,
+so that they could see something amusing in a boar playing upon the
+bagpipes, or in such a device as a monster composed of two birds, with
+the head of a lion, or another with a human head on a lion's body! But
+there must have been something more than this--some peculiar estimation
+of animals to account for such numerous representations. They were
+common in the secular ornamentation of the day, for instance, in a MS.
+copy of Froissart of the fifteenth century, there is a drawing of a pig
+walking upon stilts, playing the harp, and wearing one of the tall
+head-dresses then in fashion.
+
+This love of the comic seems to have been fostered by the leisure and
+the lively turn of some ecclesiastics. In the injunctions given to the
+British Church in the year 680, no bishop is to allow tricks or
+jocosities (ludos vel jocos) to be exhibited before him, and later we
+read of two monks, near Oxford, receiving a man hospitably, thinking he
+was a "jougleur," and could perform tricks, but kicking him out on
+finding themselves mistaken. We find some of the monks amusing
+themselves with "cloister humour," consisting principally of logical
+paradoxes; while others indulged in verbal curiosities, such as those of
+Tryphiodorus, the lipogrammatist, who wrote an Odyssey in twenty-four
+books without once using the letter A. Some were more fond of pictorial
+designs, and carved great figures on the chalk downs, such as the Giant
+of Cerne Abbas, in Dorsetshire, and the Long Man of Wilmington, in
+Sussex.
+
+As we found reason to believe that the earliest kind of laughter was
+that of pleasure, so in this revival of civilization, we often see
+humour regarded as having no influence beyond that of ministering to
+amusement. The mind was scarcely equal to regarding things in more than
+one light. A jest was often viewed as entirely unimportant, its levity
+and depreciatory character being altogether overlooked. To this and to
+the hostile element then very prominent, we may attribute the
+caricatures of the devil, formerly so common. Before the tenth century,
+the devil was thought too dreadful to be portrayed, but afterwards, as
+the Church made a liberal exhibition of the torments of hell, the idea
+occurred of deterring offenders by representing evil spirits in as
+frightful a form as possible. Some think that such figures were
+suggested by the Roman satyrs, but they may have come from Jewish or
+Runic sources. There is a mediæval story of a monk having carved an
+image of the devil so much more repulsive than he really was, that the
+sable gentleman called upon him one night to expostulate. The monk,
+however, was inexorable. But the story says further that, although the
+holy man was proof against the entreaties of the devil, he was not so
+well armed against the fascinations of the fair, and owing to his
+suffering a defeat at the hands of the latter came afterwards to be shut
+up in prison. The original of his portrait again called upon him, and
+the monk agreed that, if he would obtain his release, he would represent
+him as a handsome fellow.
+
+As times advanced, people began to fear the devil less, and to be amused
+at these strange carvings. From regarding them as ludicrous, it was only
+a step to make humorous caricatures--and there could be little harm in
+ridiculing the Devil. Thus we frequently find imps and demons brought in
+to perform the comic parts in the Church mysteries. It was a short
+advance from the ludicrous to the humorous, and thus we find the devil a
+merry fellow, playing all kinds of practical jokes on mankind. Such
+representations would now appear rather ludicrous than humorous, and are
+seldom seen, except to amuse children on Valentine's Day.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+Origin of Modern Comedy--Ecclesiastical Buffoonery--Jougleurs and
+  Minstrels--Court Fools--Monks' Stories--The "Tournament of
+  Tottenham"--Chaucer--Heywood--Roister Doister--Gammer Gurton.
+
+
+As the early drama of Greece arose from the celebration of religious
+rites, so that of modern times originated in the church. This does not
+seem so strange when we remember that religion is in connection with
+abstract thought, and with an exercise of the representative powers of
+the mind. And if we ask how comedy could have been thus introduced, the
+reply must be that the ideal of former ages was very different from our
+own. In the days when the mind was dull and inactive, striking
+illustrations were very necessary to awaken interest in moral and
+spiritual teaching. They changed in accordance with the progress of the
+times and country--sometimes the medium was fables or other such
+impossible fictions, sometimes it was similitudes from nature, as
+parables, and sometimes dramatic performances. Whatever drama the Jews
+had was of a religious character. It is supposed by some that the
+words--"When your children shall say unto you, 'What mean ye by this
+service,'" refers to some commemorative representation. However this may
+be, we know that about the year 100 B.C., Ezekiel, an Alexandrian Jew,
+wrote a play in Greek on the Exodus, which somewhat resembled a
+"mystery." Luther thought that the books of Judith and Tobit were
+originally in a dramatic form; and, even among the Jews, a comic element
+was sometimes introduced--as in the ancient Ahasuerus' play at the feast
+of Purim--with a view of attracting attention at a time when people had
+little reflection, and were not very particular about the intermingling
+of utterly incongruous feelings, whether religion and cruelty, or
+religion and humour.
+
+We have traced the gradual decline of the drama in Rome, until it
+consisted but of buffooneries and mimes; and so its revival in modern
+times commenced with performances in dumb show, the low intellectual
+character of the age being reflected in popular exhibitions. The mimi
+were people who performed barefooted, clothed in skins of animals,
+with shaven heads, and faces smeared with soot. The Italians gradually
+came to relish nothing but a sort of pantomime, and it seems to have
+occurred to the Roman Church, always enterprising and fond of
+adaptation, that they might turn this taste of the people to some
+account. Accordingly, we read of religious mummings in Spain as early as
+the sixth century, and in 1264 the Brotherhood of the Gonfalone was
+founded in Italy to represent the sufferings of Christ in dumb show and
+processions.[48] In France the performance of holy plays, termed
+Mysteries, dates from the conclusion of the fourteenth century, when a
+company of pilgrims from the Holy Land, with their gowns hung with
+scallop shells and images, assisted at the marriage of Charles VI. and
+Isabella of Bavaria. They were incorporated as a Society in Paris to
+give dramatic entertainments, and were known as the "Fraternity of the
+Passion." Originally the intention was to represent scenes in Scripture
+history, but gradually they introduced "Moralities"--fanciful pieces in
+which God, the Devil, the Virtues, &c., were the dramatis personæ. In
+one of these, for instance, the Devil invites the Follies to a banquet
+on their arrival in hell. When they sit down the table seems hospitably
+spread, but as soon as they begin to touch the food it all bursts into
+flame, and the piece concludes with fireworks. We can see that a comic
+element might easily be introduced into such performances. But Charles
+VI., who seems to have been fond of all mimetic exhibitions, formed
+another company named "L'Institution Joyeuse," composed of the sons of
+the best families in Paris, who, under the name of the "Enfans sans
+Souci," and presided over by the "Prince des Sots," made France laugh at
+the follies of the day, personal and political. The above mentioned
+religious fraternity joined these gay performers without apparently
+seeing anything objectionable in such a connection, and under the name
+of the "Clercs de la Bazoche," or clerks of the revels, acted with them
+alternately. Even in the Mysteries, an occasional element of humour was
+evidently introduced, although many things which would appear ludicrous
+to us did not so affect the people of that day. A tinge of buffoonery
+was thought desirable. Thus in the "Massacre of the Holy Innocents," a
+good deal of scuffling takes place on the stage, especially where the
+women attack with their distaffs a low fool, who has requested Herod to
+knight him that he may join in the gallant adventure. In France there
+was "The Feast of Asses," in which the priests were attired like the
+Ancient Prophets, and accompanied by Virgil! Balaam, armed with a
+tremendous pair of spurs, rode a wooden ass, in which a man was
+enclosed. Robert Grosseteste, Bishop of Lincoln, forbade the celebration
+in churches of the "Feast of Fools," in which the clergy danced and
+gesticulated in masks. The "Mysteries" seem sometimes to have been of
+extraordinary length, for there was a play called "The Creation,"
+performed at Clerkenwell which lasted eight days.
+
+Pageantry as well as humour--devices appealing to the senses--were
+largely employed to enliven the exhibitions of early times. In the
+Christmas games in the reign of Edward I., we find they made use of
+eighty tunics of buckram of various colours, forty-two vizors, fourteen
+faces of women, fourteen of men, and the same number of angels, as well
+as imitations of dragons, peacocks, and swans.
+
+The taking of Constantinople in 1453 scattered the men of learning
+throughout the West, and led to a revival of literature. The drama
+recommenced with representations of the old plays of Plautus. They were
+performed at the Universities, and on state occasions, as in 1528, when
+Henry VIII. had a stage erected in his great hall at Greenwich.
+
+But the first development seems to have been in Spain, where the old
+Romans had left their impress, and where the cruel games of the circus
+still survive in the form of bull-fights. Lopez de Reuda, of Seville,
+first brought comedy on the stage, but Cervantes tells us that then the
+whole wardrobe of an actor consisted of four sheep-skins, trimmed with
+gilt leather, four beards, four wigs, and four shepherds' crooks.
+Nevertheless, after the classical period, Spain became the repertory for
+the comedians of Europe.
+
+So far we have traced the origin of comedy as to public performance. We
+now come to consider what tendencies of disposition opened the way for
+it, and led to its becoming a branch of literature. The love of
+amusement, which is so strong in man, induced the patronage, which in
+early times was extended to the various kinds of professors of light
+arts.
+
+In the days of Greece, as in those of Rome, there were ball-players, and
+mountebanks, and we may remember an occasion on which Terence complained
+that a rope-dancer had enticed away his audience. In Sparta there were
+men who represented the tricks of thieves and impostors in dances, and
+whose entertainments, though poor, were superior to that of mere
+mountebanks. The mimes were a still greater improvement, in which a
+certain amount of amusing narrative was illustrated by dances, songs,
+contortions, and as the name implies by mimicry. We have seen Plato
+introducing mimi from Greece, and Julius Cæsar interesting himself in
+such performers. Our mediæval fool has been traced to the Roman mime,
+who continued to please the country-people with coarse and debased
+representations after Rome had fallen, and comedy had perished. Some
+have even given a classic origin to our pantomime, considering harlequin
+to be Mercury, the clown Momus, pantaloon Charon, and columbine Psyche.
+The Roman Sannio and Manducus certainly somewhat corresponded to our
+fool and clown, the latter especially in his gormandising propensities.
+But it is scarcely necessary to travel so far back, for the desire for
+amusement has in all countries produced an indigenous supply.
+
+Court-jesters are heard of as early as the reign of Philip of Macedon,
+but they seem to have been at first little more than parasites of
+inferior rank and education. In Roman times they were little more than
+buffoons,[49] and not very different from the mediæval fools. They seem
+to have received nicknames, and Petronius describes a very low buffoon
+performing antics in a myrtle robe with a belt round his waist.
+
+As in ancient times we find Achilles singing to his lyre, so the English
+musicians and story-tellers were originally amateurs of high rank. We
+read of King Alfred charming the Danes with his minstrelsy. So also in
+the Arthurian legends Sir Kaye is represented as amusing the company;
+but at the time of Hoel Dha's Welsh laws, the bard was paid, for we read
+that the king was to allow him a horse and a woollen garment, and the
+queen to give him a linen robe; the prefect of the palace is privileged
+to sit near him on festivals and to hand him his harp. Canute seems to
+have treated his scalds with less ceremony, for he threatened to put one
+of them to death because he recounted his exploits in too short a poem,
+but the man escaped by producing thirty strophes on the subject next
+day. The Saxon gleemen were generally of humble origin and not only
+performed music, but exhibited tricks. So also among the Normans we find
+the barons originally amusing one another with "gabs," _i.e._ boastful
+and exaggerated accounts of their achievements. But soon a greater
+amount of leisure and luxury led them to pay for amusement; professed
+musicians and story-tellers were introduced, and were classed with the
+_ministri_ or servants, whence came the name minstrel, which was soon
+confined to them alone. We find Talliefer going before William the
+Conqueror at the battle of Hastings chanting the brave deeds of
+Charlemagne and making a display of skill in tossing and catching his
+sword and spear. This union of tricks and music became so common that
+the words minstrel and jougleur were soon synonymous, though there was
+originally a distinction between them. The word jougleur, sometimes by
+mistake written jongleur, is derived from the latin _joculator_. This
+class of people were conjurers, as their name suggests, and often went
+about the country with performing animals, especially bears and monkeys.
+They gradually added songs to their accomplishments, which more
+assimilated them to the minstrels, and they became connected with, and
+were sometimes called "troubadours." In these minstrels or jougleurs,
+though sometimes strolling independently, being often attached to great
+households, we find an element of the domestic, or as he is called,
+court fool, and we find another in their performances being of that
+primitive character, which appeals chiefly to the perception of the
+senses. For although the "jocular" part, originally subordinate, had
+been increased, it took so rude a form that the ludicrous was not always
+easily distinguished from the humorous. The Fool was a strange mixture
+of both, varying from a mere idiot and butt to a man of genius, far
+superior to his masters. He made shrewd remarks, and performed senseless
+antics, the city fool, on Lord Mayor's day, was to jump clothes and all
+into a large bowl of custard. To a certain extent he generally
+corresponded with his name in having some mental weakness or
+eccentricity, and it was a recommendation if he were dwarfish or
+deformed. He wore a "motley" suit of discordant colours to make him
+ridiculous, and correspond with the incongruity of his mind and
+actions--a dress similar to the hundred patched _paniculus centunculus_
+of the Roman mimes. Sometimes he wore a petticoat or calf-skin to
+resemble an idiot. Finally, he had his head shaved and wore a cowl to
+make him like a monk, as his buffooneries would thus have a stranger
+character, and the nobles had no great affection for the church.[50] The
+domestic fool was common in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries up to
+the time of Louis XIV.; but it is said that there were such men at the
+Court of Louis le Débonnaire. Giraldus Cambrenses writes that when he
+was preaching for the Crusades in South Wales, one John Spang "who by
+simulating fatuity, and having a quick tongue was wont to be a great
+comfort to the court," said to Resus, the king: "You should be greatly
+indebted to your relative the Archdeacon for sending a hundred of your
+men to day to follow Christ, and if he had spoken Welsh I do not believe
+that one of all your people would remain to you." This was towards the
+end of the twelfth century, but it does not seem clear that John Spang
+was a court jester. We may fairly consider that the institution of the
+domestic fools, the employment of men, who professed jocularity as a
+branch of art distinct from music and legerdemain increased mental
+activity, and a growing desire for humour. But the men who made jesting
+their profession were generally regarded with contempt, and an Act of
+Parliament in the reign of Edward III. ordered strollers of this kind to
+be whipped out of the town. An old satire written at the time of the
+Reformation brings together actors, dustmen, jugglers, conjurers, and
+sellers of indulgences.
+
+But we want something more than wits and drolleries, and even public
+performances, to complete our idea of Comedy. We must have literary
+composition and artistic construction. From songs of warlike
+achievements such as were chanted by the old scalders to cheer their
+chiefs over the bowl, there arose by degrees fanciful tales with which
+the Saxons and their successors amused themselves after their dinner,
+and round the blazing hearth. In the tenth century the clergy found
+stories to amuse the post-prandial hour--extravagant, indelicate, or
+profane--such were the times, but marking improved activity of thought.
+Thus they enjoyed such a tale as that a "prophet" went to Heriger
+(Archbishop of Mayence about 920) and told him he had been to the nether
+world, a place, he said, surrounded by woods. The Archbishop replied
+that, if that was the case, he would send his lean swine there to eat
+acorns. The prophet added that afterwards he went to heaven, and saw
+Christ and his saints sitting at table and eating; John the Baptist was
+the butler, and served the wine, and St. Peter was the cook. The
+Archbishop asked the stranger how he fared himself, and on his saying
+that he sat in the corner and stole a piece of liver--Heriger instead of
+praising his sanctity ordered him to be tied to a stake, and flogged for
+theft. The "Supper," as old as the tenth century, is another humorous
+description. A grave assembly of scriptural characters, from Adam and
+Eve downwards, are invited, Cain sits on a plough, Abel on a milk-pail
+&c.; two, Paul and Esau, are obliged to stand for want of room, and Job
+complains of having nothing to sit on but a dunghill. Jonah is here the
+butler. Samson brings honey to the dessert, and Adam apples--
+
+  "Tunc Adam poma ministrat, Samson favi dulcia.
+   David cytharum percussit, et Maria tympana,
+   Judith choreas ducebat et Jubal psalteria
+   Asael metra canebat, saltabat Herodias."[51]
+
+Thus stories, by degrees, began to be not only composed, but written,
+and although not intended for acting, to be dignified with the old name
+of "Comedies." Such poems were written by Robert Baston, who accompanied
+Edward II. to Scotland.
+
+The Tournament of Tottenham is a merry story of this kind, written in
+the reign of Henry VI. It is full of a rough kind of hostile humour,
+and shows the sort of things which amused at that time. Here we have a
+burlesque upon the deeds of chivalry. A mock tournament is held, the
+prize is to be the Reve of Tottenham's daughter, a brood hen, a dun cow,
+a grey mare, and a spotted sow. The combatants--clowns and
+rustics--provide themselves with flails, and poles, and sheep skins
+
+  "They armed tham in mattes;
+   They set on ther nollys (heads)
+   For to kape ther pollys,
+   Gode blake bollys (bowls)
+   For t' batryng of battes (cudgels)."
+
+The fierceness of the combat is described:
+
+  "And fewe wordys spoken,
+   There were flayles al to-slatered,
+   Ther were scheldys al to-flatred,
+   Bollys and dysches al to-schatred,
+   And many hedys brokyn."
+
+We find some specimen of the kind of tales called Comedies, which
+preceded acted Comedy, in the works of Chaucer, who died in 1400.
+Scarcely any part of Chaucer's writings would raise a laugh at the
+present day, though they might a blush.[52] But he was by no means a man
+who revelled in indelicacy. We may suppose that he was moderate for the
+time in which he lived, and when he makes an offensive allusion, he
+usually adds some excuse for it. The antiquated language in which his
+works are written prevents our now appreciating much of the humour they
+contained; generally, there is more refinement and grace in his
+writings. No doubt at the time he was thought witty, and his tendency in
+this direction is shown by his praise of mirth in the "Romaunt of the
+Rose."
+
+  "Full faire was mirth, full long and high,
+   A fairer man I never sigh:
+   As round as apple was his face,
+   Full roddie and white in every place,
+   Fetis he was and well besey,
+   With meetly mouth and eyen gray,
+   His nose by measure wrought full right,
+   Crispe was his haire, and eke full bright,
+   His shoulderes of large trede
+   And smallish in the girdlestede:
+   He seemed like a purtreiture,
+   So noble was he of his stature,
+   So faire, so jolly, and so fetise
+   With limmes wrought at point devise,
+   Deliver smart, and of great might;
+   Ne saw thou never man so light
+   Of berd unneth had he nothing,
+   For it was in the firste spring,
+   Full young he was and merry of thought,
+   And in samette with birdes wrought
+   And with golde beaten full fetously
+   His bodie was clad full richely.
+   Wrought was his robe in straunge gise
+   And all slitttered for queintise
+   In many a place, low and hie,
+   And shode he was with great maistrie
+   With shoone decoped and with lace,
+   By drurie and by solace
+   His leefe a rosen chapelet
+   Had made, and on his head it set."
+
+He speaks in equally high terms of "Dame Gladnesse."
+
+We can appreciate Chaucer's address to his empty purse--
+
+  "To you my purse, and to none other wight
+   Complaine I, for ye be my lady dere,
+   I am sorry now that ye be light,
+   For certes ye now make me heauy chere
+   Me were as lefe laid vpon a bere,
+   For which vnto your mercy thus I crie
+   Be heauy againe or els mote I die.
+
+  "Now vouchsafe this day or it be night
+   That I of you the blissful sowne may here,
+   Or see your colour like the sunne bright
+   That of yelowness had neuer pere;
+   Ye be my life, ye be my hertes stere
+   Queen of comfort, and good companie
+   Be heauy againe, or els mote I die.
+
+  "Now purse that art to me my liues delight
+   And sauiour, as downe in this world here,
+   Out of this towne helpe me by your might
+   Sith that you woll not be my treasure,
+   For I am shave as nere as any frere,
+   But I pray vnto your curtesie
+   Be heauy againe, or els mote I die."
+
+Chaucer was very fond of allegory. This is especially visible not only
+in the "Romaunt of the Rose," but in the "Court of Love," "Flower and
+Leaf," the "House of Fame," and the "Cuckoo and Nightingale." In the
+"Assembly of Fowls" we have a fable. Chaucer was attached to the service
+of John of Gaunt, which may have led to his attacking the clergy, but in
+his youth he was fined two shillings for beating a Franciscan friar in
+Fleet Street. He favoured Wickliffe, and was for this reason eventually
+obliged to flee the country; but he returned and obtained remunerative
+appointments. It is said that on his death-bed he lamented the
+encouragement which vice might receive from his writings, but their
+indelicacy was not really great for the age in which he lived.
+
+Henry Heywood has been called the "Father of English Comedy," and he was
+certainly one of the first that wrote original dramas, representing the
+ordinary social life of this country. His pieces, which all appeared
+before 1550, were short and simple, and seem to us very deficient in
+delicacy and humour. But in his day he was considered a great wit, and
+as a court-jester drew many a lusty laugh from old King Hal, and could
+even soothe the rugged brow of the fanatical Mary. One of his best
+sayings was addressed to her. When the Queen told Heywood that the
+priests must forego their wives, he answered. "Then your Grace must
+allow them _lemans_, for the clergy cannot live without sauce." He was
+called the epigrammatist, but the greater part of his jests seem to have
+little point. Some of them have been attributed to Sir Thomas More.
+
+One of the earliest English comedies written by Nicholas Udall, and
+found entered in the books of the Stationers' Company in the year,
+1566, is Royster Doister.
+
+  "Which against the vayne glorious doth invey
+   Whose humour the roysting sort continually doth feede."
+
+The play turns on Ralph Royster Doister--a conceited fool--thinking
+every woman must fall in love with him. Much of the humour is acoustic,
+and depends on repetitions--
+
+  "Then twang with our sonnets, and twang with our dumps,
+   And hey hough for our heart, as heavie as lead lumps.
+   Then to our recorder with toodle doodle poope,
+   As the howlet out of an yvie bushe should hoope
+   Anon to our gitterne, thrumpledum, thrumpledrum thrum,
+   Thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrumpledum, thrum."
+
+Royster is duped into sending Custance a love-letter, telling her that
+he seeks only her fortune, and that he will annoy her in every way after
+marriage. On discovering the deception, he determines to take vengeance
+on the scribbler who wrote the love-letter for him:--
+
+  "Yes, for although he had as many lives
+   As a thousande widowes and a thousande wives,
+   As a thousande lyons and a thousande rattes,
+   A thousande wolves and a thousande cattes,
+   A thousande bulles, and a thousande calves
+   And a thousande legions divided in halves,
+   He shall never 'scape death on my sworde's point
+   Though I shoulde be torne therefore joynt by joynt."
+
+Where he prepares to punish Custance and her friends for refusing him,
+there is a play on the word "stomacke"--used for courage:
+
+  _Ralph Royster._ Yea, they shall know, and thou knowest I have a
+  stomacke.
+
+  _M.M._ A stomacke (quod you) you, as good as ere man had.
+
+  _R. Royster._ I trowe they shall finde and feele that I am a lad.
+
+  _M.M._ By this crosse I have seene you eate your meat as well.
+
+  As any that ere I have seene of, or heard tell,
+  A stomacke quod you? he that will that denie,
+  I know was never at dynner in your companie.
+
+  _R. Royster._ Nay, the stomacke of a man it is that I meane.
+
+  _M.M._ Nay, the stomacke of a horse or a dogge I weene.
+
+  _R. Royster._ Nay, a man's stomacke with a weapon mean I.
+
+  _M.M._ Ten men can scarce match you with a spoon in a pie.
+
+
+"Gammer Gurton's Needle" was acted in 1552. It bears marks of an early
+time in its words being coarsely indelicate, but not amatory. The humour
+is that of blows and insults and we may observe the great value then
+attached to needles. It is "a right pithy, pleasant and merry comedy"--a
+country story of an old dame who loses her needle when sewing a patch on
+the seat of her servant Hodge's breeches. The cat's misdoings interrupt
+her, and her needle is lost. The hunt for the needle is amusing, and
+Gammer Gurton and Dame Chat, whom she suspects of having stolen it,
+abuse and call each other witches. Hodge, the man with the patched
+breeches encourages Gammer Gurton, who seems little to require it.
+
+   "Smite, I say Gammer,
+    Bite, I say Gammer,
+  Where be your nails? Claw her by the jawes
+            Pull me out both her eyen.
+
+  Hoise her, souse her, bounce her, trounce her,
+            Pull out her thrott."
+
+On some one giving Hodge a good slap, the needle runs into him, and is
+thus happily found.
+
+At the opening of the second act of Gammer Gurton there is a drinking
+song, which deserves notice as it was the first written in English,--
+
+  "I cannot eat but little meat
+   My stomack is not good:
+   But sure I think that I can drink
+   With him that wears a hood.
+   Though I go bare, take ye no care
+   I nothing am a colde;
+   I stuff my skin so full within
+   Of ioly good ale and olde.
+   Backe and side go bare, go bare,
+   Booth foot and hand go colde;
+   But belly, God send thee good ale inoughe,
+   Whether it be new or olde;
+
+  "I love no rost, but a nut browne toste
+   And a crab laid in the fire;
+   A little bread shall do me stead
+   Moche bread I noght desire.
+   No frost, no snow, no wind I trowe
+   Can hurt me if I wolde.
+   I am so wrapt and throwly lapt
+   Of ioly good ale and olde.
+                    Backe and side, &c.
+
+  "And Tib my wife, that as her life
+   Loveth well good ale to seeke,
+   Full oft drinkes shee, till ye may see
+   The teares run downe her cheeke.
+   Then doth she trowle to me the bowle
+   Even as a mault-worm sholde,
+   And saith 'sweet heart I tooke my part
+   Of this ioly good ale and olde.'
+                    Backe and side, &c.
+
+  "Now let them drinke, till they nod and winke,
+   Even as good fellows should do;
+   They shall not misse to have the blisse
+   Good ale doth bring men to.
+   And al goode sowles that have scoured bowles,
+   Or have them lustely trolde,
+   God save the lives of them and their wives
+   Whether they be yong or olde.
+                    Backe and side, &c."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+ROBERT GREENE.
+
+Robert Greene--Friar Bacon's Demons--The "Looking Glasse"--Nash and
+  Harvey.
+
+
+One of the principal humorists at this time was Robert Greene, born at
+Norwich about 1560. He was educated at Cambridge, and was generally
+styled "Robert Greene, Maister of Artes." Early in life he became, as he
+tells us, "an author of playes and a penner of love pamphlets." From the
+titles of some of them, and from his motto, "_Omne tulit punctum qui
+miscuit utile dulci_," it is evident that they were intended to be
+humorous. Thus, his "Euphues" professes to contain "Mirth to purge
+Melancholy;" his "Quips for an Vpstart Courtier" is "A Quaint Dispute
+between Velvet-breeches and Cloth-breeches," and his "Notable Discovery
+of Coosnage" has "a delightfull discourse of the coosnage of Colliers;"
+his "Second and last part of conny-catching" has "new additions
+containing many merry tales of all lawes worth the reading, because they
+are worthy to be remembered. Discoursing strange cunning coosnage, which
+if you reade without laughing, Ile give you my cap for a Noble." But in
+all these works there is but little humour, and what we learn in reading
+them is, that a very small amount of it was then thought considerable,
+and that stories, which we should think slightly entertaining, appeared
+in that simple age to be very ingenious and even comic. In the "Comicall
+Historie of Alphonsus, King of Arragon," we do not find anything that
+could have possibly been humorous, unless the speaking of a brazen head,
+and the letting Venus down from Heaven and drawing her up again, could
+have been so regarded. Greene is characteristic of his time in his love
+of introducing magic and enchanters, and of characters from classic and
+scripture history. In the "Looking-Glasse for London and England," in
+which our metropolis is compared to Nineveh, we have angels and
+magicians brought in. "A hand out of a cloud threateneth a burning
+sword," and "Jonas is cast out of the whale's belly upon the stage."
+
+Greene is fond of introducing devils. In "The Honourable Historie of
+Frier Bacon and Frier Bongay," Ralph says, "Why, Sirrah Ned we'll ride
+to Oxford to Friar Bacon. O! he is a brave scholar, sirrah; they say he
+is a brave necromancer, that he can make women of devils, and he can
+juggle cats into coster-mongers." Further on in the same play a devil
+and Miles, Bacon's servant, enter.
+
+     _Miles._ A scholar, quoth you; marry, Sir, I would I had been a
+     bottle maker, when I was made a scholar, for I can get neither to
+     be a deacon, reader, nor schoolmaster. No, not the clerk of the
+     parish. Some call me dunce, another saith my head is full of Latin,
+     as an egg's full of oatmeal: thus I am tormented that the devil and
+     Friar Bacon haunt me. Good Lord, here's one of my master's devils!
+     I'll go speak to him. What Master Plutus, how cheer you?
+
+     _D._ Dost know me?
+
+     _M._ Know you, Sir? Why are not you one of my master's devils, that
+     were wont to come to my master, Doctor Bacon at Brazen-Nose?
+
+     _D._ Yes, marry am I.
+
+     _M._ Good Lord, Master Plutus, I have seen you a thousand times at
+     my master's; and yet I had never the manners to make you drink.
+     But, Sir, I am glad to see how comformable you are to the statutes.
+     I warrant you he's as yeomanly a man as you shall see; mark you,
+     masters, here's a plain honest man without welt or guard. But I
+     pray you Sir, do you come lately from hell?
+
+     _D._ Ay, marry, how then?
+
+     _M._ Faith, 'tis a place I have desired long to see: have you not
+     good tippling houses there? May not a man have a lusty fire there,
+     a good pot of ale, a pair of cards, a swinging piece of chalk, and
+     a brown toast that will clap a white waistcoat on a cup of good
+     drink.
+
+     _D._ All this you may have there.
+
+     _M._ You are for me, friend, and I am for you. But I pray you, may
+     I not have an office there?
+
+     _D._ Yes, a thousand; what wouldst thou be?
+
+     _M._ By my troth, Sir, in a place where I may profit myself. I know
+     hell is a hot place, and men are marvellous dry, and much drink is
+     spent there. I would be a tapster.
+
+In one play Greene introduces a court-fool, and he mixes with the
+stupidity and knavery of his clowns, a sort of artificial philosophy
+and argumentative ingenuity, which savours much of the old jesters. In
+"James the Fourth" Slipper says:--
+
+     O mistress, mistress, may I turn a word upon you?
+
+     _Countess._ Friend, what wilt thou?
+
+     _Slipper._ O! what a happy gentlewoman be you truly; the world
+     reports this of you, mistress, that a man can no sooner come to
+     your house, but the butler comes with a black-jack, and says,
+     "Welcome, friend, here's a cup of the best for you," verily,
+     mistress, you are said to have the best ale in all Scotland.
+
+     _Countess._ Sirrah, go fetch him drink [_an attendant brings
+     drink._] How likest thou this?
+
+     _Slip._ Like it mistress! why this is quincy quarie, pepper de
+     watchet, single goby, of all that ever I tasted. I'll prove in this
+     ale, and toast the compass of the whole world. First, this is the
+     earth; it ties in the middle a fair brown toast, a goodly country
+     for hungry teeth to dwell upon; next this is the sea, a fair pool
+     for a dry tongue to fish in; now come I, and seeing the world is
+     naught, I divide it thus: and because the sea cannot stand without
+     the earth, as Aristotle saith, I put them both into their first
+     chaos, which is my belly, and so, mistress, you may see your ale is
+     become a miracle.
+
+Further on Slipper again shows his readiness in dialogue--
+
+     _Sir Bartram._ Ho, fellow! stay and let me speak with thee.
+
+     _Slip._ Fellow! friend thou dost abuse me: I am a gentleman.
+
+     _Sir B._ A gentleman! how so?
+
+     _Slip._ Why, I rub horses, Sir.
+
+     _Sir B._ And what of that?
+
+     _Slip._ O simple-witted! mark my reason. They that do good service
+     in the commonweal are gentlemen, but such as rub horses do good
+     service in the commonweal, _ergo_, tarbox, master courtier, a
+     horse-keeper is a gentleman.
+
+     _Sir B._ Here is over much wit in good earnest. But, sirrah, where
+     is thy master?
+
+     _Slip._ Neither above ground nor under ground; drawing out red into
+     white, swallowing that down without chawing, which was never made
+     without treading.
+
+     _Sir B._ Why, where is he then?
+
+     _Slip._ Why in his cellar, drinking a cup of neat and brisk claret
+     in a bowl of silver. Oh, Sir, the wine runs trillill down his
+     throat, which cost the poor vintner many a stamp before it was
+     made. But I must hence, Sir, I have haste.
+
+Sir Bertram intimates that he wants his assistance, and will pay him.
+
+     _Slip._ A good word, thou hast won me; this word is like a warm
+     caudle to a cold stomach.
+
+  _Sir B._ Sirrah, wilt thou for money and reward
+  Convey me certain letters, out of hand,
+  From out thy master's pocket?
+
+     _Slip._ Will I, Sir? Why were it to rob my father, hang my mother,
+     or any such like trifles, I am at your commandment, Sir. What will
+     you give me, Sir?
+
+     _Sir B._ A hundred pounds.
+
+     _Slip._ I am your man; give me earnest. I am dead at a pocket, Sir;
+     why I am a lifter, master, by occupation.
+
+     _Sir B._ A lifter! what is that?
+
+     Slip. Why, Sir, I can lift a pot as well as any man, and pick a
+     purse as soon as any thief in the country.
+
+These humorous characters remind us a little of the slaves and parasites
+in Roman comedy, of whom, no doubt, Greene had read. His amusing fellows
+are free livers, and fond of wine like himself. In the "Looking-Glasse"
+above mentioned, Nineveh represents London, and a fast being proclaimed,
+we find Adam, a smith's journeyman, trying to evade it.
+
+     (_Enter Adam solus, with a bottle of beer in one slop (trouser) and
+     a great piece of beef in the other._)
+
+     _Adam._ Well, goodman Jonas, I would you had never come from Jewry
+     to this country; you have made me look like a lean rib of roast
+     beef, or like the picture of Lent, painted upon a red-herring's
+     cob. Alas! masters, we are commanded by the proclamation to fast
+     and pray! By my troth, I could prettily so, so away with praying,
+     but for fasting, why 'tis so contrary to my nature, that I had
+     rather suffer a short hanging than a long fasting. Mark me, the
+     words be these: thou shalt take no manner of food for so many
+     days. I had as lief he should have said, thou shalt hang thyself
+     for so many days. And yet, in faith, I need not find fault with the
+     proclamation, for I have a buttery and a pantry and a kitchen about
+     me; for proof, _ecce signum_! This right slop is my pantry, behold
+     a manchet; this place is my kitchen, for lo! a piece of beef. O!
+     let me repeat that sweet word again!--for lo! a piece of beef. This
+     is my buttery, for see, see, my friends, to my great joy a bottle
+     of beer. Thus, alas! I make shift to wear out this fasting; I drive
+     away the time. But there go searchers about to seek if any man
+     breaks the king's command. O, here they be; in with your victuals,
+     Adam.
+
+     (_Enter two Searchers._)
+
+     _1st Searcher._ How duly the men of Nineveh keep the proclamation!
+     how they are armed to repentance! We have searched through the
+     whole city, and have not as yet found one that breaks the fast.
+
+     _2nd Sear._ The sign of the more grace; but stay, there sits one,
+     methinks at his prayers; let us see who it is.
+
+     _1st Sear._ 'Tis Adam, the smith's man. How, now, Adam?
+
+     _Adam._ Trouble me not; thou shalt take no manner of food, but fast
+     and pray.
+
+     _1st Sear._ How devoutly he sits at his orisons! But stay, methinks
+     I feel a smell of some meat or bread about him.
+
+     _2nd Sear._ So thinks me too. You, Sirrah, what victuals have you
+     about you?
+
+     _Adam._ Victuals! O horrible blasphemy! Hinder me not of my prayer,
+     nor drive me not into a choler. Victuals? why heardest thou not the
+     sentence, thou shalt take no food, but fast and pray?
+
+     _2nd Sear._ Troth, so it should be; but, methinks, I smell meat
+     about thee.
+
+     _Adam._ About me, my friends? these words are actions in the case.
+     About me? no! no! hang those gluttons that cannot fast and pray.
+
+     _1st Sear._ Well, for all your words we must search you.
+
+     _Adam._ Search me? take heed what you do! my hose are my castles;
+     'tis burglary if you break ope a slop; no officer must lift up an
+     iron hatch; take heed, my slops are iron.
+
+     _2nd Sear._ O, villain! See how he hath gotten victuals--bread,
+     beef and beer, where the king commanded upon pain of death none
+     should eat for so many days, not the sucking infant.
+
+     _Adam._ Alas! Sir, this is nothing but a _modicum non nocet ut
+     medicus daret_; why, Sir, a bit to comfort my stomach.
+
+     _1st Sear._ Villain! thou shalt be hanged for it.
+
+     _Adam._ These are your words, I shall be hanged for it; but first
+     answer me this question, how many days have we to fast still?
+
+     _2nd Sear._ Five days.
+
+     _Adam._ Five days! a long time; then I must be hanged.
+
+     _1st Sear._ Ay, marry must thou.
+
+     _Adam._ I am your man, I am for you, Sir, for I had rather be
+     hanged than abide so long a fast. What! five days! Come, I'll
+     untruss. Is your halter, and the gallows, the ladder, and all such
+     furniture in readiness.
+
+     _1st Sear._ I warrant thee thou shalt want none of these.
+
+     _Adam._ But hear you, must I be hanged?
+
+     _1st Sear._ Ay, marry.
+
+     _Adam._ And for eating of meat. Then, friends, know ye by these
+     presents, I will eat up all my meat, and drink up all my drink, for
+     it shall never be said, I was hanged with an empty stomach.
+
+It has been supposed that Greene was very indelicate in his language, as
+well as reckless in his life. But we cannot find in his plays anything
+very offensive, considering the date at which he wrote, and in the tract
+called "Greene's Funeralls," we read:--
+
+   His gadding Muse, although it ran of love,
+   Yet did he sweetly morralize his song;
+   Ne ever gaue the looser cause to laugh
+   Ne men of judgement for to be offended.
+
+Greene died in "most woefull and rascall estate" at the house of a poor
+shoemaker near Dowgate. He had previously written his "Groat's-worth of
+Wit bought with a Million of Repentance;" in which he warns his former
+companions and "gentlemen who spend their wits in making playes," to
+take warning by his fate. He could get none of his friends to visit him
+at the last but Mistress Appleby, and the mother of "his base sonne
+Infortunatus Greene." He gave the following note for his wife--whom he
+had not seen for six years--to the shoemaker:
+
+"Doll, I charge thee by the love of our youth, and by my soule's rest,
+that thow wilte see this man paide; for if hee and his wife had not
+succoured me, I had died in the streetes.
+
+                            "ROBERT GREENE."
+
+
+Gabriel Harvey writes, "My next businesse was to inquire after the
+famous author who was reported to lye dangerously sicke in a shop neere
+Dowgate, not of plague, but of a surfett of pickle herringe and rennish
+wine."
+
+Thomas Nash was one of Greene's jolly companions at this fatal banquet.
+After Greene's death Harvey replied to some reflections made upon him by
+Greene, and called him in accordance with the amenities of the times, "a
+wilde head, ful of mad braine and a thousand crotchets; a scholler, a
+discourser, a courtier, a ruffian, a gamester, a lover, a souldier, a
+trauailer, a merchant, a broker, an artificer, a botcher, a pettifogger,
+a player, a coosener, a rayler, a beggar, an omnium-gatherum, a
+gay-nothing, a stoare-house of bald and baggage stuffe, unworth the
+answering or reading, a triuall and triobular autor for knaves and
+fooles," &c., &c.
+
+Nash, although he seems to have forsaken Greene in his last distress,
+became the defender of his character after his death, and answered this
+vituperation by still coarser abuse and invective, saying, "Had hee
+lived, Gabriel, and thou shouldest vnartifically and odiously libel
+against him as thou hast done, he would have made thee an example of
+ignominy to all ages that are to come, and driven thee to eate thy owne
+booke buttered, as I saw him make an Appariter once in a tavern eate his
+Citation, waxe and all, very handsomely served 'twixt two dishes.'"
+
+From this he proceeds to caricature Gabriel's person. "That word
+complexion is dropt forth in good time, for to describe to you his
+complexion and composition entred I with this tale by the way. It is of
+an adust swarth chollericke dye, like restie bacon, or a dried
+scate-fish; so leane and so meagre, that you wold thinke (with the
+Turks) he observed 4 Lents in a yere, or take him for a gentleman's man
+in the courtier, who was so thin-cheeked, and gaunt, and starv'd, that
+as he was blowing the fire with his mouth the smoke took him up like a
+light strawe, and carried him to the top or funnell of the chimney, wher
+he had flowne out God knowes whither if there had not been crosse barres
+overthwart that stayde him; his skin riddled and crumpled like a piece
+of burnt parchment; and more channels and creases he hath in his face
+than there be fairie circles on Salsburie Plaine, and wrinckles and
+frets of old age, than characters on Christ's sepulcher in Mount
+Calvarie, on which euerie one that comes scrapes his name, and sets his
+marke to shewe that hee hath been there; so that whosoever shall behold
+him
+
+     "Esse putet Boreæ triste furentis opus,"
+
+will sweare on a book I have brought him lowe, and shrowdly broken him;
+which more to confirme, look on his head, and you shall find a gray
+haire for euery line I have writ against him; and you shall have all his
+beard white too, by that time he hath read over this booke. For his
+stature, he is such another pretie Jacke-a-Lent as boyes throw at in the
+streete, and lookes in his blacke sute of veluet, like one of these
+jet-droppes which divers weare at their eares instead of a iewell. A
+smudge peice of a handsome fellow it hath been in his dayes, but now he
+is olde and past his best, and fit for nothing but to be a nobleman's
+porter, or a knight of Windsor."
+
+Nash was so full of invective and personal abuse that he scarcely
+deserved the name of a satirist, and so great was the animosity with
+which the quarrel between him and Gabriel Harvey was conducted, that the
+Archbishop of Canterbury and Bishop of London issued an order in 1599
+that all such books "be taken wheresoever they be found, and that none
+of the said books be ever printed hereafter."
+
+His humour was remarkable, as it largely consisted of coining long and
+almost unintelligible words. This he laid great store by, and he speaks
+wrathfully of one who translated his "Piers Penniless," into what he
+calls "maccaronical language." In his "Lenten Stuffe or Praise of the
+Red Herring," _i.e._, of Great Yarmouth, he calls those who despised
+Homer in his life-time "dull-pated pennifathers," and says that "those
+grey-beard huddle-duddles and crusty cum-twangs were strooke with
+stinging remorse of their miserable euchonisme and sundgery."
+
+Peele was one of the gay play-writers to whom Greene addressed his
+warning. They seem at this time to have united the professions of
+dramatist and actor, and to have been infected with that dissipation
+which has since been attributed with more or less justice to the stage.
+Peele is as fond as Greene of surprises and miraculous interventions. In
+the "Arraignment of Paris" a golden tree grows up, and in the "Old Wives
+Tale," the most humorous of his works, the head of Huanebango rises from
+a well. He is fond of dealing in phonetic words Latinisms and
+barbarisms; in one place he makes Corebus say:
+
+  "O _falsum Latinum_
+   The fair maid is _minum_
+   _Cum apurtinantibus gibletis_ and all."
+
+Peele was very popular in his day, and was often called upon to write
+pieces for the Lord Mayor and for royal receptions. He sometimes used
+Hexameter lines such as:
+
+  "Dub, dub-a-dub bounce, quoth the guns with
+                 a sulphurous huff shuff."
+
+Gabriel Harvey first introduced this metre into English, and he tried to
+induce Spenser to adopt it. Nash calls it "that drunken staggering kind
+of verse which is all vp hill and downe hill, like the way betwixt
+Stamford and Beechfeild, and goes like a horse plunging through the mire
+in the deep of winter, now soust vp to the saddle and straight aloft on
+his tip-toes."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+Donne--Hall--Fuller.
+
+
+Already we have seen that some of our earliest humorists were
+ecclesiastics, and it would be unfitting that we should here overlook
+three eminent men, Donne, Hall, and Fuller. Pleasantry was with them
+little more than a vehicle of instruction; the object was not to
+entertain, but to enforce and illustrate their moral sentiments. Hence
+their sober quaintness never raises a laugh, much less does it border
+upon the profane or indelicate.
+
+Donne was born in 1573, in London, and was educated, as was not then
+uncommon, first at Oxford, and then at Cambridge. His ability in church
+controversy attracted the attention of James, and he was made chaplain
+to the King. He became preacher at Lincoln's Inn, and afterwards was
+made Dean of St. Paul's. He lived to be fifty-eight.
+
+His sermons are full of antitheses and epigrammatic diction. There is
+an airy lightness in his letters and poems, but he scarcely ever
+actually reaches humour. The following poem, an epistle to Sir Edmund
+Herbert at Juliers, will give an idea of his style.
+
+  "Man is a lump, where all beasts kneaded be,
+   Wisdom makes him an ark where all agree;
+   The fool in whom these beasts do live at jar,
+   Is sport to others, and a theatre.
+   Nor scapes he so, but is himself their prey,
+   All which was man in him is eat away,
+   And now his beasts on one another feed,
+   Yet couple in anger, and new monsters breed.
+   How happy's he, which hath due place assigned
+   To his beasts, and disaforested his mind!
+   Empaled himself to keep them out, not in,
+   Can sow, and dares trust corn where they've been;
+   Can use his horse, goat, wolf, and every beast,
+   And is not ass himself to all the rest."
+
+Bishop Hall was born in 1574, and commenced his extensive literary
+labours by writing when twenty-three years of age, at Emmanuel College,
+Cambridge, three books of satires called Virgidemiæ. These books he
+calls "_Toothless_ Satyres, _poetical_, _academical_, _and moral_," and
+he attacks bad writers, astrologers, drunkards, gallants, and others.
+Alluding to the superabundance of indifferent poetry in his days, he
+says:--
+
+  "Let them, that mean by bookish business
+   To earn their bread, or holpen to profess
+   Their hard-got skill, let them alone for me
+   Busy their brains with deeper bookery.
+   Great gains shall bide you sure, when ye have spent
+   A thousand lamps, and thousand reams have rent
+   Of needless papers; and a thousand nights
+   Have burned out with costly candle-lights."
+
+In the following year, he produced three books of "Byting Satyres." In
+these he laughs at the effeminacy of the times--the strange dresses and
+high heels.
+
+  "When comely striplings wish it were their chance
+   For Cænis' distaff to exchange their lance,
+   And wear curled periwigs, and chalk their face
+   And still are poring on their pocket-glass;
+   Tired with pinned ruffs and fans and partlet strips
+   And busks and verdingales about their hips;
+   And tread on corked stilts, a prisoner's pace,
+   And make their napkin for a spitting place,
+   And gripe their waist within a narrow span,
+   Fond Cænis that wouldst wish to be a man!"
+
+The most severe is against the Pope:--
+
+  "To see an old shorn lozel perched high
+   Crossing beneath a golden canopy;
+   The whiles a thousand hairless crowns crouch low
+   To kiss the precious case of his proud toe;
+   And for the lordly fasces borne of old
+   To see two quiet crossed keys of gold;
+   But that he most would gaze and wonder at
+   To the horned mitre and the bloody hat,
+   The crooked staff, the cowl's strange form and store
+   Save that he saw the same in hell before;
+   To see the broken nuns, with new shorn heads
+   In a blind cloister toss their idle heads."
+
+Although Bishop Hall wrote learnedly and voluminously on theological
+subjects, this light medley is now more esteemed than his graver works.
+He claimed upon the strength of it to be the earliest English satirist,
+and perhaps none of our writings of this kind had as yet been of equal
+importance. The work was one of those condemned to the flames by
+Whitgift and Bancroft.
+
+Fuller was born in Northamptonshire, in 1608. He became a distinguished
+man at Cambridge, where he obtained a fellowship at Sidney Sussex
+College. He was also an eminent preacher in London, and a prebendary of
+Salisbury. In the Civil War, being a stanch Royalist, he was driven from
+place to place, and held at one time the interesting post of "Infant
+Lady's Chaplain" to the Princess Henrietta. In his "Worthies of
+England," Fuller not only enumerates the eminent men for which each
+country is distinguished, but gives an account of its products and
+proverbs. "A Proverb is much matter decocted into few words. Six
+essentials are wanting to it--that it be short, plain, common,
+figurative, ancient, true." The most ordinary subject is enlivened by
+his learned and humorous mind. Thus, in Bedfordshire, under the head of
+"Larks," he tells us, "The most and best of these are caught and
+well-dressed about Dunstable in this shire. A harmless bird while
+living, not trespassing on grain, and wholesome when dead, then filling
+the stomach with meat, as formerly the ear with music. In winter they
+fly in flocks, probably the reason why _Alauda_ signifieth in Latin both
+a lark and a legion of soldiers; except any will say a legion is so
+called because helmeted on their heads and crested like a lark,
+therefore also called in Latin _Galerita_. If men would imitate the
+early rising of this bird, it would conduce much unto their
+healthfulness."
+
+Fuller abounds with figures and illustrations in which learning and
+humour are excellently intermingled. "They that marry where they do not
+love, will love where they do not marry." "He knows little, who will
+tell his wife all he knows." Speaking of children, he says that a man
+complained that never father had so undutiful a child as he. "Yes," said
+the son, "my grandfather had." Alluding to servants, and saying that the
+Emperor Charles the Fifth being caught in a tempest had many horses
+thrown overboard to save the lives of the slaves--which were not of so
+great market-value--he asks, "Are there not many that in such a case had
+rather save Jack the horse than Jockey the keeper?" Of widows' evil
+speaking he observes, "Foolish is their project who, by raking up bad
+savours against their former husbands, think thereby to perfume their
+bed for a second marriage." Of celibacy he says, "If Christians be
+forced to run races for their lives, the unmarried have the advantage of
+being lighter by many ounces!"
+
+Speaking of the "Controversial Divine," he says, "What? make the Muses,
+yea the Graces scolds? Such purulent spittle argues exulcerated lungs.
+Why should there be so much railing about the body of Christ, when there
+was none about the body of Moses in the act kept betwixt the devil and
+Michael, the Archangel?" On schoolmasters he wrote, "That schoolmaster
+deserves to be beaten himself, who beats Nature in a boy for a fault.
+And I question whether all the whipping in the world can make their
+parts, that are naturally sluggish, rise one minute before the hour
+Nature hath appointed."
+
+The following are some good sayings that have been selected from his
+works by an eminent humorist:--
+
+     _Virtue in a short person._ "His soul had but a short diocese to
+     visit, and therefore might the better attend the effectual
+     informing thereof."
+
+     _Intellect in a very tall one._ "Oft times such, who are built four
+     storeys high, are observed to have little in their cock-loft."
+
+     _Mr. Perkins, the Divine._ "He would pronounce the word Damn with
+     such an emphasis, as left a doleful echo in his auditor's ears a
+     good while after."
+
+     _Memory._ "Philosophers place it in the rear of the head; and it
+     seems the mine of memory lies there, because men there naturally
+     dig for it, scratching it when they are at a loss."
+
+To this we may add something from his "Holy State,"--a pleasant and
+profitable work, in which Fuller is happy in making his humour subserve
+the best ends:--Of "The Good Wife," he says, "She never crosseth her
+husband in the spring-tide of his anger, but stays till it be
+ebbing-water. And then mildly she argues the matter, not so much to
+condemn him as to acquit herself. Surely men, contrary to iron, are
+worst to be wrought upon when they are hot, and are far more tractable
+in cold blood. It is an observation of seamen, 'That if a single meteor
+or fire-ball falls on their mast, it portends ill-luck; but if two come
+together (which they count Castor and Pollux) they presage good
+success.' But sure in a family it bodeth most bad when two fire balls
+(husband's and wife's anger) both come together." In speaking of good
+parents, he says, "A father that whipt his son for swearing, and swore
+at him while he whipt him, did more harm by his example than good by his
+correction."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+Shakespeare--Ben Jonson--Beaumont and Fletcher--The Wise Men of Gotham.
+
+
+Greene, in his admonition to his brother sinners of the stage, tells
+them that "there is an vpstart crow beautified with our feathers an
+absolute Johannes factotum, in his own conceyt the onely Shake-scene in
+a countrey," and in truth these olden writers are principally
+interesting as having laid the foundations upon which Shakespeare built
+some of his earliest plays. The genius of our great dramatist was
+essentially poetic, and some of his plays, which we now call comedies,
+were originally entitled "histories." How seldom do we hear any of his
+humorous passages quoted, or find them reckoned among our household
+words! From some of his observations we might think he was altogether
+averse from jocosity. Henry V. says
+
+     "How ill gray hairs become a fool--a jester!"
+
+In "Much ado about Nothing," Beatrice speaks as follows--
+
+     "Why, he is the Prince's jester; a very dull fool, only his gift is
+     in devising unprofitable slanders; none but libertines delight in
+     him, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany,
+     for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him
+     and beat him."
+
+But notwithstanding all this condemnation Beatrice is herself the
+liveliest character in Shakespeare, and her lady's wit is some of the
+best he shows--
+
+     _Beatrice._ For hear me, Hero; wooing, wedding, and repenting is as
+     a Scotch jig, a measure and a cinque-pace; the first suit is hot
+     and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding
+     mannerly-modest, as a measure full of state and ancientry; and then
+     comes repentance, and with his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace
+     faster and faster, till he sinks into his grave.
+
+     _Leonato._ Cousin, you apprehend shrewdly.
+
+     _Beat._ I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church, by daylight.
+
+In the "Merchant of Venice" Lorenzo thus answers Launcelot--
+
+     "How every fool can play upon the word. I think the best grace of
+     wit will shortly turn into silence, and discourse grow commendable
+     in none but parrots."
+
+Again Lorenzo--
+
+  "Oh, dear discretion, how his words are suited,
+   The fool hath planted in his memory
+   An army of good words: And I do know
+   A many fools that stand in better place
+   Garnished like him, that for a tricksie word
+   Defie the matter."
+
+Comedians from Aristophanes downwards have been wont to complain in one
+place of that which they adopt in another--their object not being to
+adopt fixed principles so much as to show the varying shades of human
+thought. Shakespeare required something light to bring his deep
+reflections into bolder relief, and therefore frequently had recourse to
+humour. We are not surprised that he had no very high estimate of it,
+when we find him so much dependant upon "the alms-basket of words."
+There is so much of this in his plays, that it is almost superfluous to
+quote, but a few instances may be taken at random. Falstaff to Poins--
+
+     "You are straight enough in the shoulders; you care not who sees
+     your back--call you that backing your friends? A plague upon such
+     backing; give me a man who will face me."
+
+Falstaff to Prince Henry. Act I. Scene II.
+
+     I prythee, sweet wag, when thou art king, as God save thy
+     grace--majesty, I should say, for grace thou wilt have none--
+
+     _P. Hen._ What! none?
+
+     _Fal._ No, by my troth; not so much as will serve to be prologue to
+     an egg and butter.
+
+In Love's Labour Lost. Act I. Scene II.
+
+     _Armado._ Comfort me, boy. What great men have been in love?
+
+     _Inoth._ Hercules, master.
+
+     _Arm._ Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more;
+     and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.
+
+     _Inoth._ Samson, master; he was a man of good carriage, for he
+     raised the town gates on his back like a porter, and he was in
+     love.
+
+In the musicians scene, in Romeo and Juliet, Act IV. Scene V. we find--
+
+     _Musician._ Pray you put up your dagger, and put out your wit.
+
+     _Peter._ Then have at you with my wit. I will dry beat you with my
+     iron wit, and put up my iron dagger. Answer me like:
+
+  When griping grief the heart doth wound,
+  And doleful dumps the mind oppress,
+  Then music with her silver sound--
+
+     Why _silver_ sound? Why music with her silver sound? What say you,
+     Simon Catling?
+
+     _First Mins._ Marry, Sir, because silver hath a sweet sound.
+
+     _Peter._ Pretty. What say you, Hugh Rebeck?
+
+     _Sec. Mins._ I say "silver sound," because musicians sound for
+     silver.
+
+     _Peter._ Pretty, too! What say you, James Soundpost?
+
+     _Third Mins._ Faith! I know not what to say.
+
+     _Peter._ O! I cry for mercy; you are the singer; I will say for
+     you. It is music with her silver sound, because musicians have no
+     gold for sounding.
+
+We may here observe that the puns of Shakespeare are never of the
+"atrocious" class; there is always something to back them up, and give
+them a shadow of probability. The tournaments of humour which he is fond
+of introducing, although good in effect upon the stage, are not
+favourable for any keen wit. Such conflicts must be kept up by artifice,
+cannot flow from natural suggestion, and degenerate into a mere
+splintering of words. One cause of the absence of "salt" in his writings
+is that he was not of a censorious or cynical spirit; another was that
+his turn of mind was rather sentimental than gay. Shakespeare evidently
+knew there might be humour among men of attainments, for he writes,--
+
+  "None are so surely caught, when they are catched,
+   As wit turned fool; folly is wisdom hatched,
+   Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
+   And wits' own grace to grace a learned fool."
+
+But with him, those who indulge in it are clowns, simpletons, and
+profligates. Few of his grand characters are witty. Perhaps he was
+conscious of the great difficulty there would be in finding suitable
+sayings for them. Indelicacy and hostility would have to be alike
+avoided, and thus when the sage Gonzalo is to be amusing, he sketches a
+Utopian state of things, which he would introduce were he King of the
+island on which they are cast. He would surpass the golden age.
+Sebastian and Antonio laugh at him, and cry "God save the King," Alonzo
+replies "Prythee, no more, thou dost talk nothing (_i.e._ nonsense) to
+me." Gonzalo replies that he did so purposely "to minister occasion to
+those gentlemen, who are of such sensible and nimble lungs that they
+always use to laugh at nothing." They retort that they were not laughing
+at his humour, but at himself. "Who," he replies, "in this merry fooling
+am nothing to you" meaning, apparently, that he is acting the fool
+intentionally and out of his real character.
+
+Hamlet, when his mind is distraught, "like sweet bells jangled," is
+allowed to indulge in a little punning, and Biron is humorous, for which
+he is reproached by Rosalind, who tells him that he is one
+
+  "Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
+   Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools;"
+
+that only silly thoughtless people admire wit, and that
+
+  "A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
+   Of him that hears it--never in the tongue
+   Of him that makes it."
+
+Here the variable character of humour is recognised, but it is not to be
+supposed that Rosalind's arguments were intended to be strictly correct.
+Very much must depend upon the form in which a jest is produced, and
+without the tongue of the utterer, it cannot exist though the sympathy
+of the listener is required for its appreciation.
+
+In Shakespeare's plays, and in most comedies we find humour in the
+representation of ludicrous characters. Words, which would be dull
+enough in ordinary cases, become highly amusing when coming from men of
+peculiar views. Sometimes people are represented as perpetually riding
+their hobby, or harping on one favourite subject. We have an instance of
+this in Holophernes and his pedantry; and the conversation between the
+two gravediggers in Hamlet, is largely indebted for its relish to the
+contrast between the language of the men and their occupation. In the
+same way, the ignorance and misrepresentations of rustics in play
+acting, which Shakespeare had probably often observed in the
+provinces--gives zest to the exaggerated caricature in "Midsummer
+Night's Dream."--
+
+     _Bottom._ There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisbe
+     that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill
+     himself, which ladies cannot abide. How answer you that?
+
+     _Snout._ By'r lakin a parlous fear.
+
+     _Starveling._ I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is
+     done.
+
+     _Bottom._ Not a whit. I have a device to make all well. Write me a
+     prologue, and let the prologue seem to say, we will not do harm
+     with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the
+     more better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus,
+     but Bottom the weaver; this will put them out of fear.
+
+            *       *       *       *       *
+
+     _Snout._ Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
+
+     _Sta._ I fear it, I promise you.
+
+     _Bottom._ Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves to bring
+     in--God shield us! a lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing;
+     for there is not a more fearful wildfowl than your lion living, and
+     we ought to look to it.
+
+     _Snout._ Therefore another prologue must tell, he is not a lion.
+
+     _Bottom._ Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be
+     seen through the lion's neck; and he must himself speak through,
+     saying thus, or to the same effect--"Ladies," or "Fair ladies, I
+     would wish you," or "I would request you," or "I would entreat you
+     not to fear, nor to tremble: my life for yours. If you think I come
+     hither as a lion, it were pity of my life: no, I am no such thing.
+     I am a man as other men are," and there then let him name his name
+     and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.
+
+When the play comes on for performance and Snug the joiner roars "like
+any sucking dove," the Duke Theseus remarks--
+
+     A very gentle beast, and of a good conscience.
+
+     _Demetrius._ The very best as a beast, my lord, that e'er I saw.
+
+     _Lysander._ This lion is a very fox for his valour.
+
+     _Theseus._ True, and a goose for his discretion.
+
+     _Demetrius._ Not so, my lord, for his valour cannot carry his
+     discretion, and the fox carries the goose.
+
+     _Theseus._ His discretion, I am sure, cannot carry his valour, for
+     the goose carries not the fox.
+
+The enigmas and logical quibbles, which he occasionally intermingles
+with his verbal conceits, remind us of the old philosophic paradoxes.
+Sometimes a riddle is attempted; thus, he asks--"What was a month old at
+Cain's birth, that's not five weeks old now?" Answer--"The Moon."
+
+Taken generally, there is such a remarkable uniformity in Shakespeare's
+humour as must acquit him of all charge of plagiarism in this respect,
+and may go some way towards proving the general originality of his
+plays. Certainly, verbal conceits were then in high favour, and the
+character of Shakespeare's humour is only one of many proofs that
+pleasantry had not at this time reached its highest excellence.
+
+To Shakespeare's kindness and discretion Ben Jonson owed his first
+introduction to dramatic fame. The young poet had presented "Every Man
+in his Humour," to one of the leading players of the company to which
+Shakespeare belonged, and the comedian upon reading it, determined to
+refuse it. Jonson's fate was trembling in the balance; he was a
+struggling man, and, had he been unsuccessful, might have eventually,
+returned to his bricklayer's work, but he was destined to be raised up
+for his own benefit and that of others. Shakespeare was present when his
+play was about to be rejected, asked to be allowed to look over it, and,
+at once recognising the poet's talent, recommended it to his companions.
+From that moment Jonson's career was secured. But he was never destined
+to acquire the lasting fame of Shakespeare. With him the stream of
+Comedy was losing its deep and strong reflections, and beginning to flow
+in a swifter and shallower current, meandering through labyrinths of
+court and city life. Perhaps, also, his large amount of humorous
+illustration, which must have been mostly ephemeral, tended to cut short
+his fame. The best of it is interwoven with his several designs and
+plots, as where, in "The Alchemist," a gentleman leaves his house in
+town, and his housekeeper fills it with fortune-tellers vagabonds, who
+carry on their trade there; and in "The Fox" a rich and childless man is
+courted by his friends, from whom he obtains presents under the pretence
+that he will leave them his property. In this last play a parasite is
+introduced, and in general these plays abound with classical allusions,
+sometimes very incongruously intermixed with modern concerns. An
+indiscriminating admiration of ancient literature and art was as much
+one of the features of the day, as was its crude humour--a cleverness
+joined to folly and attributed to boobies and simpletons. Much of this
+jocosity scarcely deserves the name of humour, and we may remark that in
+Jonson's time it did not receive it. With him humour is thus defined--
+
+  "To be a quality of air or water,
+   And in itself holds these two properties,
+   Moisture and fluxure.... Now thus far
+   It may by metaphor apply itself
+   Unto the general disposition:
+   As when some one peculiar quality
+   Doth so possess a man, that it doth draw
+   All his affects, his spirits, and his power."
+
+The social peculiarities of the day are frequently alluded to by Jonson.
+In "Every Man out of his own Humour," we have complete directions for
+the conduct of a gentleman of the time. Smoking, then lately introduced,
+is especially mentioned as one of the necessities of foppery. Cob, a
+water-bearer says, "Ods me, I marle what pleasure or felicity they have
+in taking this roguish tobacco. It's good for nothing but to choke a
+man, and fill him full of smoke and embers: there were four died out of
+one house last week with taking of it, and two more the bell went for
+yesternight; one of them they say will never 'scape it: he cast up a
+bushel of soot yesterday."
+
+In Cynthia's Revels a courtier is thus described--
+
+"He walks most commonly with a clove or toothpick in his mouth: he is
+the very mint of compliment, all his behaviours are pointed: his face is
+another volume of essays, and his beard is Aristarchus. He speaks all
+cream skimmed, and more affected than a dozen waiting women. The other
+gallant is his zany, and doth most of these tricks after him, sweats to
+imitate him in everything to a hair, except his beard, which is not yet
+extant."
+
+But the stamp of the age is especially prominent in the constant
+recurrence of verbal conceits. Jonson was fond of coining words, and of
+using such as are long and little known. He evidently found this a
+successful kind of humour, and may have partly imitated Plautus--
+
+Lady Politick Would-be, to Volpone, supposed sick--
+
+  Seed pearl were good now, boiled with syrup of apples,
+  Tincture of gold, and coral, citron pills,
+  Your elicampane root, myrobalanes--
+
+     _Volpone (tired with her talk)_ Ah me! I have ta'en a grasshopper
+     by the wing.
+
+In "The Alchemist" Subtle says to Face,
+
+     Sirrah my varlet, stand you forth and speak to him
+     Like a philosopher: answer in the language,
+     Name the vexations and the martyrizations
+     Of metals in the work.
+
+     Face. Sir, putrefaction,
+     Solution, ablution, sublimation,
+     Cohabation, calcination, ceration and
+     Fixation.
+
+From "Every Man out of his Humour."
+
+     _Macilente._ Pork! heart! what dost thou with such a greasy dish? I
+     think thou dost varnish thy face with the fat on't, it looks so
+     like a glue-pot.
+
+     _Carlo._ True, my raw-boned rogue, and if thou wouldst farce thy
+     lean ribs with it too, they would not like rugged laths, rub out so
+     many doublets as they do; but thou knowest not a good dish thou. No
+     marvel though, that saucy stubborn generation, the Jews, were
+     forbidden it, for what would they have done, well pampered with fat
+     pork, that durst murmur at their Maker out of garlick and onions?
+     'Slight! fed with it--the strummel-patched, goggle-eyed,
+     grumbledones would have gigantomachized.--
+
+The following extracts will give a slight idea of Ben Jonson's varied
+talent. At the conclusion of a play directed against plagiarists and
+libellers, he sums up--
+
+  "Blush, folly, blush! here's none that fears
+   The wagging of an ass's ears,
+   Although a wolfish case he wears.
+   Detraction is but baseness varlet
+   And apes are apes, though clothed in scarlet."
+
+From "The Alchemist."
+
+
+     _Tribulation._ What makes the devil so devilish, I would ask you.
+     Sathan our common enemy, but his being
+     Perpetually about the fire, and boiling
+     Brimstone and arsenic?...
+
+     _Fastidious._ How like you her wit.
+
+     _Macilente._ Her ingenuity is excellent, Sir.
+
+     _Fast._ You see the subject of her sweet fingers there (_the viol_)
+     oh, she tickles it so that--she makes it laugh most divinely--I'll
+     tell you a good jest just now, and yourself shall say it's a good
+     one. I have wished myself to be that instrument, I think a thousand
+     times, and not so few by heaven.
+
+The two following are from "Bartholomew Fair."
+
+     _Littlewit._ I envy no man my delicates, Sir.
+
+     _Winwife._ Alas, you have the garden where they grow still. A wife
+     here with a strawberry breath, cherry lips, apricot cheeks, and a
+     soft velvet head like a melicotton.
+
+     _Lit._ Good i' faith! now dulness upon us, that I had not that
+     before him, that I should not light on't as well as he! Velvet
+     head!...
+
+     _Knockem._ Sir, I will take your counsel, and cut my hair, and
+     leave vapours. I see that tobacco and bottle ale, and pig and whit,
+     and very Ursula herself is all vanity.
+
+     _Busy._ Only pig was not comprehended in my admonition--the rest
+     were: for long hair, it is an ensign of pride, a banner: and the
+     world is full of those banners--very full of banners. And bottle
+     ale is a drink of Satan's, a diet-drink of Satan's devised to puff
+     us up, and make us swell in this latter age of vanity; as the smoke
+     of tobacco to keep us in mist and error: but the fleshly woman,
+     which you call Ursula, is above all to be avoided, having the marks
+     upon her of the three enemies of man--the world, as being in the
+     Fair, the Devil, as being in the fire;[53] and the flesh as being
+     herself.
+
+Ben Jonson has a strange, and I believe original conceit of introducing
+persons to explain their plays, and make remarks on the characters.
+Sometimes many interruptions of this kind occur in the course of a
+drama, affording variety and amusement to the audience, or the reader.
+In "Midsummer's Night's Dream" we have the insertion of a play within a
+play. The following taken from Jonson's epigrams have fine complexity,
+and show a certain tinge of humour.
+
+
+  THE HOUR GLASS.
+
+  "Consider this small dust here in the glass,
+          By atoms moved:
+   Could you believe that this the body was
+          Of one that loved;
+   And in his mistress' flame, playing like a fly,
+   Was turned to cinders by her eye:
+   Yes; and in death as like unblest,
+          To have't exprest,
+   Ev'n ashes of lovers find no rest."
+
+
+  MY PICTURE.--LEFT IN SCOTLAND.
+
+  I now think Love is rather deaf than blind,
+  For else it could not be
+      That she,
+  Whom I adore so much, should so slight me,
+  And cast my suit behind;
+  I'm sure my language to her was as sweet,
+  And every close did meet
+  In sentence of as subtle feet,
+  As hath the youngest, he,
+  That sits in shadow of Apollo's tree.
+  Oh! but my conscious fears
+  That fly my thoughts between
+  Tell me that she hath seen
+  My hundreds of gray hairs,
+  Told seven and forty years,
+  Read so much waste, as she cannot embrace
+  My mountain belly, and my rocky face,
+  And all these through her eyes have stopt her ears.
+
+Although fond of indulging in strong language, Jonson is scarcely ever
+guilty of any really coarse allusion--he expresses his aversion from
+anything of the kind, and this in the age in which he lived, argued
+great refinement of feeling.
+
+In Fletcher we mark a progress in humour. Ben Jonson was so personal
+that he made enemies, and was suspected of attacking Inigo Jones and
+others, but Fletcher was general in his references, and merely ridiculed
+the manners of the age. The classic element disappears, and quibbling
+and playing with words--so fashionable in Shakespeare's time--is not
+found in this author, whose humour has more point, and generally more
+sarcasm, but of a refined character.
+
+The name of Fletcher is invariably connected with Beaumont. The two
+young men lived together in the same house, and it is even said wore
+each other's clothes. But Beaumont only lived to be twenty-nine, and has
+left little in comparison with the voluminous works of Fletcher. They
+were both born in a good position, and, mingling in the fashionable
+society of their day, filled their pages with love intrigues, in colours
+not then offensive. Fletcher never married, and those who look for
+contrasts between fathers and children may learn that his father, who
+was Bishop of London, was suspended by Elizabeth for taking a second
+wife. Our author is said to have been himself a comedy, and his death,
+if we can believe the story, was consistent with his gay life, for we
+are told that, through waiting in London for a new suit of clothes, he
+died of cholera, which was raging there at the time.
+
+Here is a specimen of his sketches--the character of a rich usurer--
+
+  _Sanchio._ Thou'art very brave.
+
+  _Cacafogo._ I've reason; I have money.
+
+  _San._ Is money reason?
+
+  _Cac._ Yes, and rhyme too, captain.
+  If you've no money you're an ass.
+
+  _San._ I thank you.
+
+  _Cac._ You've manners! ever thank him that has money.
+
+  _San._ Wilt thou lend me any?
+
+  _Cac._ Not a farthing, captain; captains are casual things.
+
+  _San._ Why, so are all men:
+  Thou shalt have my bond.
+
+  _Cac._ Nor bonds, nor fetters, captain:
+  My money is my own; I make no doubt on't.
+
+  _Juan._ What dost thou do with it?
+
+  _Cac._ Put it to pious uses--
+  Buy wine--
+
+  _Juan._ Are you for the wars, Sir?
+
+  _Cac._ I am not poor enough to be a soldier,
+  Nor have I faith enough to ward a bullet;
+  This is no living for a trench, I take it.
+
+  _Juan._ You have said wisely.
+
+  _Cac._ Had you but money
+
+  You'd swear it, colonel. I'd rather drill at home
+  A hundred thousand crowns, and with more honour,
+  Than exercise ten thousand fools with nothing;
+  A wise man safely feeds, fools cut their fingers.
+
+The prurient coarseness of Fletcher is due to the peculiar
+licentiousness of the period. In his plays, although kissing is
+sometimes provocative of jealousy, it is generally regarded, even by
+persons of rank, as of less importance than it is now by boys and girls,
+who play "Kiss in the ring." In "Rule a wife and have a wife" Margarita
+says to the Duke
+
+  "I may kiss a stranger,
+   For you must be so now."
+
+This lady is desirous of obtaining a very easy husband, who will let her
+do whatever she likes. A friend says she has found one for her in Leon,
+who is forthwith introduced. Margarita puts some questions to him to
+ascertain his docility, and then says--
+
+  "Let me try your kisses--
+   How the fool shakes!--I will not eat you, Sir.
+   Beshrew my heart, he kisses wondrous manly!
+   You must not look to be my master, Sir,
+   Nor talk i' th' house as though you wore the breeches,
+   No, nor command in anything. . . You must not be saucy,
+   No, nor at any time familiar with me;
+   Scarce know me when I call not."
+
+After trying and approving his kisses again, she tells him that he is
+not to start or be offended if he sees her kissing anyone else. He is to
+keep in the cellar, when not wanted. The proposed husband promises to be
+most obedient and accommodating in everything, but as soon as he is
+accepted and the ceremony performed, he appears in a totally different
+character. He informs his wife, in whose magnificent house he goes to
+live--
+
+    You've nothing to do here, Madam,
+    But as a servant to sweep clean the lodgings,
+    And at my farther will to do me service.
+    _Margarita_ (_to her servants._) Get me my coach!
+    _Leon._ Let me see who dare get it
+  Till I command; I'll make him draw your coach
+  And eat your couch, (which will be hard duty).
+
+On Cacafogo making some slighting remark, this gentle individual
+exclaims--
+
+  "Peace! dirt and dunghill!
+   I will not lose mine anger on a rascal;
+   Provoke me more,--I will beat thy blown body
+   Till thou rebound'st again like a tennis-ball."
+
+In "Monsieur Thomas" we have the following jovial passage--
+
+  _Francisco._ What hast thou there? a julep?
+
+  _Hylas._ He must not touch it;
+  'Tis present death.
+
+  _Thomas._ You are an ass, a twirepipe,
+  A Jeffery John Bo-peep! Thou minister?
+  Thou mend a left-handed pack-saddle? Out! puppy!
+  My Friend, Frank, but a very foolish fellow.
+  Dost thou see that bottle? view it well.
+
+  _Fran._ I do, Tom.
+
+  _Tho._ There be as many lives in it as a cat carries;
+  'Tis everlasting liquor.
+
+  _Fran._ What?
+
+  _Tho._ Old sack, boy.
+  Old reverend sack; which for ought that I can read yet
+  Was the philosopher's stone the wise King Ptolomus
+  Did all his wonders by.
+
+  _Fran._ I see no harm, Tom.
+  Drink with a moderation.
+
+  _Tho._ Drink with sugar,
+  Which I have ready here, and here a glass, boy.
+
+         *       *       *       *       *
+
+  Hang up your juleps, and your Portugal possets,
+  Your barley broths and sorrel soups; they are mangy
+  And breed the scratches only: Give me sack!
+
+The devil now becomes a constant resource for humour. In "The Chances"
+Antonio has lost his jewels. His servant suggests that the thieves have
+"taken towards the ports."
+
+  _Ant._ Get me a conjurer,
+  One that can raise a water-devil. I'll port 'em.
+  Play at duck and drake with my money? Take heed, fiddler,
+  I'll dance ye by this hand: your fiddlestick
+  I'll grease of a new fashion, for presuming
+  To meddle with my de-gambos! get me a conjurer,
+  Inquire me out a man that lets out devils.
+
+Beaumont and Fletcher were great conversationalists, their racy raillery
+is said to have been as good as their plays. They were members of the
+celebrated Mermaid Club in Fleet Street, a centre where the wits of the
+day sharpened their humour in friendly conflict. In his epistle to Ben
+Jonson, Beaumont writes--
+
+          "What things have we seen
+  Done at the 'Mermaid!' heard words that have been
+  So nimble and so full of subtle flame,
+  As if that every one from whom they came
+  Had meant to put his whole wit in a jest,
+  And had resolved to live a fool the rest
+  Of his dull life."
+
+Here it was that Shakespeare and Jonson often contended, the former like
+"a light English man-of-war" the latter like "a high-built Spanish
+galleon."
+
+To some portion of the seventeenth century, we must attribute those
+curious stories called "The Merry tales of the Wise Men of Gotham"
+although by some they have been attributed to Andrew Gotham, a physician
+of Henry VIII. They are said to have been suggested by a circumstance
+which occurred in the time of King John. He intended to pass through
+Gotham, a village in Northamptonshire, but the inhabitants placed some
+difficulties in his way. On his expressing his determination to carry
+out his project, and sending officers to make inquiries about the
+opposition offered, the inhabitants were seized with a panic and
+pretended to have lost their senses. This was the tradition upon which,
+in after-times, these tales were founded, and being unobjectionable they
+are well adapted for the nursery, but being mere exercises of ingenuity
+they afford but very slight pleasure to older minds. Although aimless,
+there is something clever in them. The Wise Men determine to hedge round
+a cuckoo to keep it in so that it should sing all the year. The bird
+seeing the hedge flies away. "A vengeance on her," say the Wise Men, "we
+made not the hedge high enough." There is the story of the young man,
+whose mother told him to throw sheep's eyes at his sweetheart, and who,
+literally, performed her bidding. One Good Friday the Men of Gotham
+consulted what to do with their red herrings, and other salt fish, and
+agreed to cart them into a pond that the number might increase next
+year. At the beginning of the next summer they drag the pond, and only
+find a great eel. "A mischief on him," they say, "he hath eaten up our
+fish." Some propose to chop him in pieces, but the rest think it would
+be best to drown him, so they throw him into another pond. Twelve men of
+Gotham go to fish, and some stand on dry land, and some in the water.
+And one says "We have ventured wonderfully in wading; I pray that none
+of us come home drowned." So they begin to count, and as each omits
+himself he can only count eleven, and so they go back to the water, and
+make great lamentation. A courtier, who meets them, convinces them of
+their mistake by laying his whip on each of them, who calls out in turn
+"Here's one," until twelve are counted. The minister of Gotham preaches
+that men should not drink in Lent. A man, who comes for absolution, and
+confesses to having been drunk in Lent, replies that fish should swim.
+"Yes," returns the priest, "but in water." "I cannot enjoin your
+prayer," he adds, "for you cannot say your Paternoster. It is folly to
+make you fast because you never get meat. Labour hard, and get a dinner
+on Sunday, and I will come and dine with you."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+Jesters--Court of Queen Elizabeth--James I.--The "Counterblasts to
+  Tobacco"--Puritans--Charles
+  II.--Rochester--Buckingham--Dryden--Butler.
+
+
+Professed fools seem to have been highly appreciated in the time of
+Shakespeare. They do not correspond to our modern idea of a fool,
+because there was intention in their actions, and yet we could not have
+considered them to be really sensible men. Nor had they great talent,
+their gifts being generally lower than those of our professed wits.
+
+Addison observes that, "when a man of wit makes us laugh, it is by
+betraying some oddness or infirmity in his own character," and at the
+present day, not only do those who indulge much in humour often say
+things approaching nonsense, and make themselves in other ways
+ridiculous, but their object, being entirely idle diversion and
+pleasantry, appears foolish and puerile. Those who cultivate humour are
+not generally to be complimented on their success, and a popular writer
+has thus classified fools--"First, the ordinary fool; secondly the fool
+who is one, and does not know it; thirdly, the fool who is not satisfied
+with being one in reality, but undertakes in addition to play the fool."
+Thus, to a certain extent we may always regard a professed wit as a
+silly fellow, but still at the present day the acts or sayings of an
+absolute idiot or lunatic, would be depressing and offensive, and could
+afford little amusement in any way except accidentally.[54] They would
+resemble the incongruities in dreams which although strange are not
+generally laughable. And if we are not amused with a fool, neither are
+we with a man who imitates him, although Cicero says that humour
+consists in a man who is not a fool, speaking as though he were one.
+Some mistake supposed to be made by an ordinary man is what amuses us,
+and although humorous sayings originated in an imitation of ludicrous
+things, and Quintilian's observation sometimes holds good that the same
+things, which if they drop from us unintentionally are foolish, if we
+imitate them are humorous; still humour is not confined to this; there
+is generally no such imitation, and the witty sayings of the present day
+are seldom representations of such things as anyone would utter in
+earnest, whether he were a fool or not.
+
+We must not confuse folly and wit, though they may exist in the same
+person and in close relationship. The latter requires intelligence and
+intention. If a humorous man ever purposely enacts the dullard, the
+impersonation is always modified--he is like Snug, the joiner, who does
+not "fright the ladies." There is always some peculiar point in his
+blunders; if he acted the fool to the life we should not laugh with him.
+We always see something clever and admirable in him, and to be
+successful in this way, a man should possess considerable mental gifts,
+and be able to gauge the feelings of others. Still we can hardly assent
+to the proposition that "it takes a wise man to make a fool." A man may
+be witty without having any constructive power of mind. It is easier to
+find fault than to be faultless, to see a blemish than to produce what
+is perfect--a pilot may point out rocks, but not be able to steer a safe
+course.
+
+At the time of which we are now speaking, the double character of the
+court fool corresponded with that early and inferior humour which was
+always on the verge of the ludicrous. The connection thus established,
+long remained and led to witty observations being often spoken of as
+"foolerie." Upon this conceit or confusion Shakespeare founded the
+speech of Jaques in "As you like it."
+
+  Act II. Scene IV.
+
+  _Jaques._ A fool! a fool!--I met a fool i' the forest,
+  A motley fool:--a miserable fool!--
+  As I do live by food, I met a fool:
+  Who laid him down, and basked him in the sun,
+  And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms.
+  In good set terms--and yet a motley fool.
+  "Good morrow, fool," quoth I. "No, Sir," quoth he,
+  "Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune."
+  And then he drew a dial from his poke,
+  And looking on it with lack lustre eye,
+  Says very wisely, "It is ten o'clock;"
+  "Thus we may see," quoth he, "how the world wags;
+  'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,
+  And after one hour more t'will be eleven,
+  And so from hour to hour we ripe and ripe,
+  And then from hour to hour we rot and rot,
+  And thereby hangs a tale."
+
+There is nothing very laughable in the above reflections, but they
+contain a deep satire, and afford a beautiful example of Shakespearian
+complexity. From the mixture of wisdom and folly compounded in the
+"fool" of the day--who was then, it must be remembered, the monitor of
+the great--it is here implied that in his awkward way he sometimes
+arrived at truth better than the sage. As supremely wise men are often
+regarded as fools, so what seems folly may be the highest
+wisdom--"motley's your only wear."
+
+The fool is generally represented in Shakespeare as saying things which
+have a certain wit and shrewdness.
+
+     _Clown._ God bless thee, lady.
+
+     _Olivia._ Take the fool away.
+
+     _Clo._ Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.
+
+            *       *       *       *       *
+
+     Good Madonna, why mournest thou?
+
+     _Oli._ Good fool, for my brother's death.
+
+     _Clo._ I think his soul is in hell, Madonna.
+
+     _Oli._ I know his soul is in heaven, fool.
+
+     _Clo._ The more fool, Madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul
+     being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.
+
+In King Lear.
+
+     _Fool._ Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter
+     fool and a sweet one?
+
+     _Lear._ No, lad, teach me.
+
+     _Fool._ That lord that counselled thee
+
+  To give away thy land,
+  Come place him here by me--
+  Do thou for him stand:
+  The sweet and bitter fool
+  Will presently appear,
+  The one in motley here,
+  The other found out there.
+
+     _Lear._ Dost thou call me fool, boy?
+
+     _Fool._ All thy other titles thou hast given away that thou wast
+     born with.
+
+     _Kent._ This is not altogether a fool, my lord.
+
+The fact was that wit was now gradually improving, and was being wielded
+by so called fools in such a way that it could not be confounded with
+fatuity. The time was approaching when the humour manufactured by
+professed jesters would not be appreciated. Something higher and keener,
+such as Shakespeare has here shadowed forth would be required. This was
+not reached in Ben Jonson's time, but fools and their artifices are by
+him discarded for something more natural, for country bumpkins and
+servants, ludicrous in their stupidity, knavery and drunkenness. As
+civilization advanced, jugglers and clowns were relegated to country
+fairs.
+
+Henry the Eighth, at the commencement of his reign was a great patron of
+men of wit and learning, and probably the humour of More, as well as his
+virtue, recommended him to the King. We read that at Cardinal Morton's
+entertainments of his Christmas company, the future Chancellor, then a
+boy, would often mount the stage and extemporize with so much wit and
+talent as to surpass all the professional players. During his university
+course, and shortly afterwards, he wrote many neat Latin epigrams of
+which the two following rough translations will give some idea--
+
+  "A thief about to be accused, implored
+     Advice, and sent his counsel many a pound,
+   The counsel, when o'er mighty tomes he'd pored,
+     Replied, 'If you'd escape, you must abscond.'
+
+  "Once in the loving cup, a guest saw flies,
+     Removed them, drank, and then put back a few.
+   And, being questioned, sagely thus replies,
+     'I like them not--but cannot speak for you.'"
+
+He was to the last fond of pleasantry and kept a jester.
+
+The daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn[55] could scarcely have
+been deficient in mirthfulness, and we find that the dangers through
+which she passed in her youth were not able to extinguish Elizabeth's
+love of humour. According to the custom of the day she exhibited this
+not only in her sayings, but, as comedians were then often received in
+great houses, she ordered in 1583 that twelve of them should be made
+grooms of the chamber, be sworn the Queen's servants, and be arrayed in
+her livery. The most remarkable of these was Tarlton. He came of humble
+origin. Fuller says that, while tending his father's swine, a servant of
+Robert, Earl of Leicester, passing by was so pleased with his _happy
+unhappy_ answers that he took him to court. But Tarlton's humour was
+often that of the common fool, and depended generally upon action, look,
+and voice. His face was in this respect his fortune, for he had a flat
+nose and squinting eyes. Nash mentions that on one occasion he "peept
+out his head," probably with a grimace, at the audience, which caused a
+burst of laughter, and led one of the justices, who did not understand
+the fun, to beat the people on the bare pates, inasmuch as they, "being
+farmers and hinds, had dared to laugh at the Queen's men." He was
+celebrated for his jigs, _i.e._ extempore songs accompanied with tabor
+and pipe, and sometimes with dancing.
+
+Fuller says he had great influence with Elizabeth, and could "undumpish"
+her at pleasure. Her favourites were wont to go to him to prepare their
+access to her, and "he told the Queen more of her faults than most of
+her chaplains, and cured her melancholy better than all her physicians."
+
+Bohun says that, "at supper she would divert herself with her friends
+and attendants, and if they made no answer she would put them upon mirth
+and pleasant discourse with great civility. She would then also admit
+Tarlton, a famous comedian and pleasant talker, and other men to divert
+her with stories of the town, and the common jests or accidents, but so
+that they kept within the bounds of modesty." Tarlton, on one occasion,
+cast reflections upon Leicester; and said of Raleigh, "the knave
+commands the Queen," at which she was so much offended that she forbade
+any of her jesters to approach her table.
+
+The jests of Scogan, or rather those attributed to him, were very
+popular in Elizabeth's time. This man was court-fool to Henry VII., and
+is said to have been "of pleasant wit and bent to merrie devices." He
+was fond of practical jokes, and often attacked the clergy. Elizabeth
+seems to have had a natural gift of humour, and we read of many of her
+witty sayings. On one occasion, upon an archbishop finding fault with
+some of her actions, and quoting Scripture to prove she had acted more
+as a politician than a Christian. "I see, my lord," she replied, "that
+you have read the scriptures, but not the book of Kings." She was so
+well acquainted with proverbs, that on being presented with a collection
+of English aphorisms, and told by the author that it contained them
+all, she answered, "Nay, where is 'Bate me an ace, quoth Bolton.'"
+
+Among the sayings, good for the period, which have been attributed to
+her, we read that when the Archduke raised the siege of Grave, the Queen
+who heard of it before her secretary, said to him, "Wot you that the
+Archduke is risen from the Grave." When at Lord Burleigh's she promised
+to make seven knights, and the gentlemen to be so honoured were placed
+in a line as the Queen was going out. The least worthy of them, however,
+were through interest with Lord Burleigh placed first, so that they
+might have precedence of creation. But the Queen passed down the row and
+took no notice of them; but when she had reached the screen, turned, and
+observing, "I had almost forgotten my promise," proceeded to knight from
+the lower end. On one of her Privy Council saying "Your Majesty was too
+politic for my Lord Burleigh," she replied, "I have but followed the
+scripture--'the first shall be last and the last first.'"
+
+The cares of sovereignty, and the opposition of her Roman Catholic
+subjects led Elizabeth's humour to assume a somewhat severe complexion.
+Her thoughts gradually became more earnest, and her jests cynical.
+Moreover, as seen in Shakespeare, the age in which she lived was
+reflective, and the budding activity of mind was directed towards great
+interests. There was not that impression of the vanity of all things,
+which grows up with the extension and maturity of society, and attracts
+the mind to more fanciful and less grave considerations. A good contrast
+between Elizabeth's position, and that of James I. may be seen in the
+following occurrences. When Henry IV. had given the order of St. Michael
+to Nicolas Clifford and Anthony Shirley, she commanded them to return
+it. "I will not," she said, "have my sheep follow the pipe of a strange
+shepherd;"[56] but when James I. was told that several noblemen of his
+court and council, received pensions from Spain, the King replied that
+he knew it well, and only wished the King of Spain would give them ten
+times as much, as it would render him less able to make war upon him.
+
+James was a man of a very eccentric and grotesque fancy, combined with a
+considerable amount of intelligence and learning. He was particularly
+fond of religious controversy, and wrote what he considered to be an
+important work on "Demonologie." From one passage we might suppose that
+he thought it sinful to laugh, as he says that man can only laugh,
+because he can only sin. But he kept two clowns for his amusement, and
+also appreciated Ben Jonson, to whom he gave the direction of the Court
+Masques. He occasionally made some caustic remarks, which have come down
+to us, such as, "Who denys a thing he even now spake, is like him that
+looks in my face and picks my pocket." "A travelling preacher and a
+travelling woman never come to any good at all."
+
+Sir Henry Wooton told him how the Prince of Condé sued for the title of
+Altesse from the Synod of Venice. The King replied, "The Prince had good
+reason to sue for it, and that the Seigniory had done ill to deny it
+him, considering that the world knew how well he deserved it; it being
+his custom to raise himself upon every man's back, and to make himself
+the higher by every man's tail he could get upon. And for that cause he
+hoped to see him elevated by the just Justice of God to as high a
+dignity as the gallows at last."
+
+James the First's writings were mostly of a religious character, and
+some of them were sufficiently ludicrous. But in his "Counterblaste to
+Tobacco," his indignation is often mixed with humour. He observes that
+smoking came from the Indians, and continues--
+
+"And now, good countreymen let vs (I pray you) consider what honour or
+policy can move vs to imitate the barbarous and beastly maneres of the
+wilde, Godlesse and slavish Indians, especially in so vile and stinking
+a custome? Shall wee that disdaine to imitate the manners of our
+neighbour France.... Shall wee, I say without blushing abase ourselves
+so farre as to imitate these beastly Indians, slaves to the Spaniards,
+refuse to the world, and as yet aliens from the Holy Covenant of God?
+Why doe wee not as well imitate them in walking naked as they doe? in
+preferring glasses, feathers, and such toyes to gold and precious
+stones, as they doe? Yea, why do wee not deny God, and adore the divel
+as they doe?"
+
+He proceeds to combat the theory, "That the braines of all men beeing
+naturally cold and wet, all drie and hote things should be good for
+them." "It is," he says, "as if a man, because the liver is hote, and as
+it were an oven to the stomache, would therefore apply and weare close
+upon his liver and stomache a cake of lead; he might within a short time
+(I hope) bee susteined very cheape at an Ordinarie, besides the clearing
+of his conscience from that dreadful sinne of gluttonie."
+
+Towards the end he gives some medical testimony--
+
+"Surely smoke becomes a kitchin farre better than a dining chamber, and
+yet it makes a kitchin also oftentimes in the inward parts of men,
+soyling and infecting them with an vnctuous and oily kind of soote, as
+hath been found in some great tobacco takers, that after their death,
+were opened."
+
+Addison, speaking of James' love of jesting, observes:--"The age in
+which the pun chiefly flourished was in the reign of King James the
+First. That learned monarch was himself a tolerable punster, and made
+very few bishops or privy-councillors that had not sometime or other
+signalized themselves by a clinch or a conundrum. It was therefore in
+this age that the pun appeared with pomp and dignity. It had been before
+admitted into merry speeches and ludicrous compositions, but was now
+delivered with great gravity from the pulpit, or pronounced in the most
+solemn manner at the council-table." Verbal humour continued to be
+admired for its ingenuity in the reign of Charles I. The childish taste
+of the time in this respect is prominently exhibited in the "Fames
+Roule," written by a Mrs. Mary Fage, in honour of the royal family and
+principal peers of the realm. It consists of short poems, and each one
+forms an acrostic, and commences with an anagram of the name.
+
+The following will give specimens of this ridiculous composition:--
+
+  "To the high and mighty. Princesse Mary,
+  Eldest Daughter of our Soveraigne Lord King Charles.
+
+  MARY STVARTE.
+
+  Anagramma.
+
+  A MERRY STATV.
+
+  "M irth may with Princes very well agree,
+   A Merry Statv then faire Madam be;
+   R ightly 'twill fit your age, your vertues grace;
+   Y eelding A Merry Statv in your face.
+
+  "S mile then, high Lady, while of mirth write I,
+   T hat so my Muse may with alacrity,
+   U nto your Highness sing without all feare,
+   A nd a true Statv of your vertues reare:
+   R eaching whereto, that she may higher flee,
+   T hus humbly beg I on my bended knee,
+   E ver A Merry Statv be to me."
+
+  GEORGE MANNERS.
+
+  Anagramma.
+
+  NOR AS GREEN GEM.
+
+  "G reat honoured Peere, and _Rutland's_ Noble Earle,
+   E ven in vertue shining like a Pearle
+   O ver all _Europe_, adding to your birth,
+   R adiant bright beames of your true honoured worth:
+   G em great and precious, see you are remaining
+   E ver the rayes of vertue's beames retaining.
+
+  "M aking all _Europe_ stand amazed quite,
+   A nd wonder much at _Rutland's_ glorious light,
+   N or _as_ a _green gem_ let your lustre be,
+   N o, _greenness_ here betokens _levity_,
+   E ver more as a precious gem remain you,
+   R ed or some orient colour still retaine you;
+   S o _nor as green gem_, will the world proclaime you."
+
+The jester still remained in office in Charles the First's reign and
+Archee assumed the old prerogative of the motley in telling home truths
+to his master. On one occasion he was ordered by the King to say grace,
+as the chaplain was away, upon which the jester pronounced it, "All
+glory be to God on high, and little Laud to the devil." At which all the
+courtiers smiled, because it reflected upon the Archbishop of
+Canterbury, who was a little man. The King said he would tell Laud, and
+what would he do then? "Oh!" said Archee, "I will hide me where he will
+never find me." "Where is that?" asked the King. "In his pulpit,"
+answered Archee, "for I am sure he never goes there."
+
+The rebellion against Charles the First and the success of the Puritans
+led to a remarkable development of religious feeling. Men seemed for the
+moment to think more of the next world than of the present, seasoned
+their language with texts, and from Scripture adopted new names suitable
+to a new life. Their usual tone of conversation is thus humorously
+described by Harrison Ainsworth.
+
+Captain Stelfax pays Colonel Maunsel a domiciliary visit, and an old
+Royalist retainer tells the redoubtable Roundhead that he looks more
+like a roystering Cavalier than a Puritan, to which the latter replies--
+
+"Go to, knave, and liken me not to a profane follower of Jehoram. Take
+heed that thou answerest me truthfully. Thou art newly returned from
+the battle-field whereat the young man Charles Stuart was utterly
+routed, and where our general, like Pekah the son of Remaliah slew many
+thousands of men in one day, because they had forsaken the Lord God of
+their fathers. Didst thou bear arms in the service of Ahaz?"
+
+One Increase Micklegift soon afterwards fell into the captain's bad
+graces--
+
+"I begin to suspect it was by thy instrumentality that he hath escaped."
+
+"How could that be seeing I was with thee in the closet." Micklegift
+rejoined.
+
+"It might easily be, since it was by thy devise that I was led into the
+snare. Bitterly shalt thou rue it, if I find thee leagued with the
+Amalekites."
+
+All this affords a good idea of the phraseology of these men, some of
+whom indulged in such names as "Nehemiah, Lift-up-Hand" and
+"Better-Late-than-Never," and it must be remembered, to their credit,
+that there never was a more orderly army than that of Cromwell. In
+accordance with the sentiments then entertained all theatrical
+exhibitions were prohibited. Such austerity and self-denial could not be
+of long continuance--it was kept up by an effort, and led to an
+inevitable reaction, and so we find that the court of the "Merry
+Monarch" became notorious in history for its dissipation. Humour
+proportionally changed from what it had been under Charles I., and we
+read that that the old Earl of Norwich, who had been esteemed the
+greatest wit, was now quite out of fashion.
+
+Barbarous nations have little idea of delicacy of any kind; and
+civilisation finds it hard entirely to change nature, so that
+where-ever the ground is allowed to lie fallow, the old weeds appear in
+their noisesome rankness. Hence from time to time we find indelicacy
+springing up, and made to serve the purposes of those who know that the
+evil plant is not radically extirpated. One of the most offensive men in
+this respect was Peter Aretinus, an Italian adventurer, who became a
+great favourite with the Emperor Charles V. He is said to have died from
+falling back over his chair in a fit of laughter, on hearing some
+indelicate joke. But modes of death have often been invented to accord
+with the lives of those who suffered them, just as dithyrambic Anacreon
+is said to have been choked by a grape stone.
+
+Louis XI. was also addicted to this jesting which is not convenient. We
+read that he told Edward IV. in a jocose way that he was right glad to
+see him at Paris, and that if he would come and divert himself with the
+gay ladies there, he would assign for his confessor, the Cardinal of
+Bourbon, who, he knew, would grant him easy absolution for peccadilloes
+of love and gallantry. Edward was much pleased with this raillery, for
+he knew the Cardinal was a gay man. Louis was afterwards in great alarm
+upon Edward's acceptance of his invitation.
+
+The humour of Charles II. and his court consisted more of jollity than
+wit. The king was always ready to laugh outright, even in church at the
+sermon. He encouraged and led the way in an indelicate kind of jesting,
+which he seems to have learned during his travels in France. On his
+telling Lord Shaftesbury, "I believe Shaftesbury, that thou art the
+wickedest dog in England," the statesman humbly replied, "May it please
+your Majesty, of a subject, I believe I am." We should not expect too
+much from the son of Henrietta Maria. It is related that one morning
+when at Exeter, pressing her hand to her head she said to her physician,
+"Mayerne, I am afraid I shall go mad some day." "Nay," he replied, "your
+Majesty need not fear _going_ mad; you have been so some time."
+
+But Charles owed much to his gay and easy manner. Notwithstanding his
+faults "he was so pleasant a man that no one could be sorrowful under
+his government." He sometimes dined at the annual civic banquet, and one
+of the company present on the occasion when Sir Robert Viner was Lord
+Mayor, refers to it as follows. "Sir Robert was a very loyal man, and if
+you will allow the expression, very fond of his sovereign, but what with
+the joy he felt at heart for the honour done him by his prince and
+through the warmth he was in with continual toasting healths of the
+royal family, his lordship grew a little fond of His Majesty, and
+entered into a familiarity not altogether so graceful in so public a
+place. The king understood very well how to extricate himself in all
+kinds of difficulties, and with a hint to the company to avoid ceremony,
+stole off and made towards his coach which stood ready for him in
+Guildhall yard. But the Mayor liked his company so well, and was grown
+so intimate, that he pursued him hastily and catching him fast by the
+hand, cried out with a vehement oath and accent, 'Sir, you shall stay
+and take t'other bottle.' The airy monarch looked kindly at him over his
+shoulder, and with a smile and graceful air (for I saw him at the time
+and do now) repeated this line of the old song 'He that's drunk is as
+great as a King,' and immediately turned back and complied with his
+request."
+
+Tom Killegrew was the last of his cloth; forced and constant jesting
+becoming less and less appreciated. As the jesters approached their end,
+they had more of the moralist and politician in them than of the
+mountebank. We may judge of Killegrew's wit, when we read that one day
+on his appearance Charles said to his gay companions, "Now we shall hear
+our faults." "No," replied the jester, "I don't care to trouble my head
+with that which all the town talks of."[57] Killegrew must have had fine
+scope for his sarcasm. In these times the character of the monarch gave
+the tone to society, and was reflected in the dramatists. Thus we find
+the earnestness of Elizabeth in Shakespeare, the whimsicality of James
+in Jonson, and the licentiousness of Charles II. in the poets of the
+Restoration. The deterioration of men and of humour in the last reign is
+marked by the fact that ridicule was mostly directed not against vice as
+in Roman satire, but against undeserved misfortunes. Even virtue and
+learning did not afford immunity; Bishop Warburton writes: "This weapon
+(in the dissolute times of Charles II.) completed the ruin of the best
+minister of that age. The historians tell us that Chancellor Hyde was
+brought into his Majesty's contempt by this court argument. They
+mimicked his walk and gesture with a fire-shovel and bellows for the
+mace and purse."
+
+The indelicacy of which Charles and his companions was guilty, was not
+of a primitive and ignorant kind, but always of an amatory character,
+and at the expense of the fair sex; jests formerly so common as to
+obtain the name of "japes." The writers of that day are objectionable
+not merely for coarseness of this kind, but for the large amount of it,
+as one artiste in complimentary attire might be tolerated where a crowd
+of seminude performers could not. The poems of Sedley and Rochester are
+as abundant in indelicacy as they are deficient in humour. The epigram
+of Sedley to "Julius" gives a more correct idea of his character than of
+his usual dullness.
+
+     "Thou swearest thou'll drink no more; kind Heaven send Me such a
+     cook or coachman, but no friend."
+
+Rochester might have produced something good. His verses have more
+traces of poetry and humour than we should expect from a man who out of
+the thirty-four years of his life, was for five of them continually
+drunk. He nearly always attunes his harp to the old subject, so as to
+become hopelessly monotonous. Inconstancy has great charms for him, and
+he consequently imputes it also to the ladies--
+
+  "Womankind more joy discovers
+   Making fools, than keeping lovers."
+
+Again:
+
+  "Love like other little boys,
+   Cries for hearts as they for toys,
+   Which when gained, in childish play,
+   Wantonly are thrown away."
+
+He seems to have been oppressed by a disbelief in any kind of good in
+the world. His philosophy, whenever he ventured upon any, was sceptical
+and irreverent. His best attempt in this direction was a poem "Upon
+Nothing," which commences:
+
+  "Nothing! thou elder brother ev'n to shade,
+   That had'st a being 'ere the world was made,
+   And (well fixt) art alone of ending not afraid.
+   Ere Time and Place were, Time and Place were not,
+   When primitive Nothing, Something straight begot,
+   Then all proceeded from the great united--What?"
+
+Sometimes he amused himself writing libels on the king, and some of his
+satires contain more or less truth, as--
+
+  "His father's foes he does reward,
+   Preserving those that cut off's head,
+   Old Cavaliers, the crown's best guard,
+   He lets them starve for want of bread.
+     Never was a King endued
+   With so much grace and gratitude."
+
+Buckingham does not appear to have agreed with Rochester about Charles,
+for he writes, "He was an illustrious exception to all the common rules
+of physiognomy, for with a most saturnine and harsh sort of countenance,
+he was both of a merry and merciful disposition." Buckingham's humour
+was of a very poor description, but he wrote a Comedy "The Rehearsal,"
+which was highly approved, mostly, however, because aimed at Dryden, and
+the heroic drama. From one passage in it, we observe that he noticed the
+difference between the effect of humour in the plot, and in the dialogue
+of the play--
+
+     _Prettyman._ Well, Tom, I hope shortly we shall have another coin
+     for thee; for now the wars are coming on, I shall grow to be a man
+     of metal.
+
+     _Bayes._ O, you did not do that half enough.
+
+     _Johnson._ Methinks he does it admirably.
+
+     _Bayes._ I, pretty well, but he does not hit me in't, he does not
+     top his part.
+
+     _Thimble._ That's the way to be stamped yourself, Sir, I shall see
+     you come home like an angel for the king's evil, with a hole bored
+     through you.
+
+     _Bayes._ There he has hit it up to the hilt. How do you like it
+     now, gentlemen? is not this pure wit?
+
+     _Smith._ 'Tis snip snap, Sir, as you say, but methinks not pleasant
+     nor to the purpose, for the play does not go on. The plot stands
+     still.
+
+     _Bayes._ Why, what the devil is the plot good for but to bring in
+     fine things.
+
+Dryden could scarcely be expected to remain silent under the blow here
+aimed at his plays. An opportunity for revenge soon presented itself,
+when he undertook to compose a political satire upon Monmouth and his
+intrigues. Some say that this remarkable poem was written at the command
+of Charles. It had a great success, five editions being sold within the
+year--one cause of its popularity being its novel character. The idea of
+introducing Scriptural impersonations into a poem was new or nearly so,
+and very successful. Monmouth had already been called Absalom, and as
+the King (David) was very fond of him, it was desirable to place his
+shortcomings to the account of his advisers, represented by Achitophel.
+The way in which Dryden handled his adversaries may be understood from
+such passages as:--
+
+  "Levi, thou art a load: I'll lay thee down
+   And show rebellion bare, without a gown;
+   Poor slaves in metre, dull and addle-pated
+   Who rhime below e'en David's psalms translated."
+
+Doeg is another enemy:--
+
+  "'Twere pity treason at his door to lay
+   Who makes heaven's gate a lock to its own key.
+   Let him rail on, let his invective muse
+   Have four and twenty letters to abuse,
+   Which, if he jumbles to one line of sense
+   Indict him of a capital offence."
+
+This satire led to some replies, which Dryden crushed in his "Mac
+Flecnoe," a poem named after an Irish priest--an inferior poet--who, but
+for this notice, would never have been known to posterity. Shadwell was
+the man really aimed at; Mac Flecnoe exclaims:--
+
+  "Shadwell alone, of all my sons, is he
+   Who stands confirmed in full stupidity,
+   The rest to some faint meaning make pretence
+   But Shadwell never deviates into sense."[58]
+
+After much in the same strain, he finishes with:--
+
+  "Thy genius calls thee not to purchase fame
+   In keen iambics, but mild anagram.
+   Leave writing plays, and choose for thy command
+   Some peaceful province in acrostic land,
+   There thou mayest wings display and altars raise,
+   And torture one poor world ten thousand ways."
+
+Dryden calls this kind of satire Varronian, as he weaves a sort of
+imaginary story into which he introduces the object of his attack. He
+was under the impression that this was the first piece of ridicule
+written in heroics, and his claim seemed correct as far as England was
+concerned, but Boileau and Tassoni had preceded him. Willmot says,
+"Dryden is wanting in the graceful humour of Tassoni, and exquisite
+power of Boileau. His wit has more weight than edge--it beat in armour,
+but could not cut gause." The greater part of Dryden's satire could not
+cut anything, nor be distinguished from elaborate vituperation. He
+wrote an essay on Satire, in which he shows a much better knowledge of
+history than of humour. His best passages are in the "Spanish Friars,"
+but they are weak and mainly directed against the profligacy of the
+Church. The servant says of the friar, "There's a huge, fat religious
+gentleman coming up, Sir. He says he's but a friar, but he's big enough
+to be a Pope; his gills are as rosy as a turkey-cock's; his great belly
+walks in state before him like an harbinger, and his gouty legs come
+limping after it. Never was such a ton of devotion seen."
+
+Samuel Butler affords one of the many examples of highly gifted literary
+men who have died in great poverty. His works, recommended by Lord
+Dorset, were read largely, and even by the King himself; but there was
+then no great demand for books, and authors had to look to patrons, and
+eat the uncertain bread of dependence. We may suppose, however, that he
+was an improvident man, for during his life he held several offices, and
+was at one time steward of Ludlow Castle.
+
+Butler possessed a real gift of humour, and an astonishing fertility of
+invention. To us there seems to be still too much indelicacy in his
+writings, though less than heretofore, and there is a considerable
+amount of bear-fighting, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.
+This rough and cruel pastime was very common in that day. We read of
+bear-baiting at Kenilworth to amuse Queen Elizabeth, and Alleyn, the
+munificent founder of Dulwich College, was not only a dramatic author
+and manager, but "Master of the bears and dogs," which seems to have
+been a post of honour. To the present day, a ring for such sports is to
+be seen outside the principal gate of Battle Abbey.
+
+We have already observed that the drama of Spain became the model for
+that of modern Europe, and we are not therefore surprised to find that
+the main design in Sir Hudibras is to produce an English Don Quixote.
+All the accessories of the work point to this imitation; there is a long
+account of his arms, his Squire, and horse. But beyond this, he aimed at
+several well-known rogues of his day, especially those pretending to
+necromancy and prophetic powers, who seem to have been numerous.[59]
+This gave the poem an interest at that day which it cannot have now, and
+it was increased by the amusing hits he makes at the Puritans, who had
+lately convulsed the State, and whom he had been able to gauge when he
+was employed by Sir Samuel Luke.[60] The lines are well known in which
+he speaks of the time:--
+
+  "When pulpit, drum, ecclesiastic,
+   Was beat with fist, instead of a stick;"
+
+and the general outcry against dignitaries is thus represented:--
+
+  "The oyster women locked their fish up
+   And trudged away to cry 'No Bishop';
+   Botchers left old clothes in the lurch,
+   And fell to turn and patch the church;
+   Some cry'd the Covenant, instead
+   Of pudding, pies, and gingerbread!"
+
+Sir Hudibras is a Presbyterian "true blue."
+
+  "Such as do build their faith upon
+   The holy test of pike and gun;
+   Decide all controversies by
+   Infallible artillery:
+   And prove their doctrine orthodox
+   By apostolic blows and knocks.
+
+  "Rather than fail, they will defy
+   That which they love most tenderly;
+   Quarrel with minced pies, and disparage.
+   Their best and dearest friend, plum porridge;
+   Fat pig and goose itself oppose,
+   And blaspheme custard through the nose."
+
+Sir Hudibras was learned in controversy:--
+
+  "For he a rope of sand could twist
+   As tough as learned Sorbonist
+   And weave fine cobwebs fit for skull
+   That's empty when the moon is full,
+   Such as take lodgings in a head
+   That's to be let unfurnished."
+
+He had been at the siege of "Bullen," by Henry VIII., and his breeches
+were lined
+
+            "With many a piece
+   Of ammunition, bread and cheese,
+   And fat black puddings, proper food
+   For warriors that delight in blood.
+   For as he said he always chose
+   To carry victual in his hose,
+   That often tempted rats and mice
+   The ammunition to surprise."
+
+Hudibras speaking of men fighting with an unworthy enemy, says:--
+
+  "So th' Emperor Caligula
+   That triumphed o'er the British sea,
+   Took crabs and oysters prisoners,
+   And lobsters 'stead of cuirassiers;
+   Engaged his legions in fierce bustles
+   With periwinkles, prawns, and mussels,
+   And led his troops with furious gallops
+   To charge whole regiments of scallops;
+   Not like their ancient way of war,
+   To wait on his triumphal car;
+   But, when he went to dine or sup,
+   More bravely ate his captives up."
+
+Butler begins one canto with
+
+  "Ah me! what perils do environ
+   The man that meddles with cold iron."
+
+His political views are seen in the following:
+
+  "For as a fly that goes to bed
+   Rests with its tail above its head,
+   So in this mongrel state of ours
+   The rabble are the supreme powers.
+   That horsed us on their backs to show us
+   A jadish trick at last, and throw us."
+
+Several minor poems have been attributed to Butler, but most of them
+have been considered spurious. Some, however, are admitted--one of which
+is a humorous skit against the Royal Society, who were supposed at that
+day to be too minutely subtle. It is called "An Elephant in the Moon."
+"Some learned astronomers think they have made a great discovery, but it
+is really owing to a mouse and some gnats having got into their
+telescope."
+
+The light, short metre in which Butler composed his comic narrative was
+well suited to the subject, and corresponded to the "swift iambics" of
+Archilochus. Dryden says that double rhymes are necessary companions of
+burlesque writing. Addison, however, is of opinion that Hudibras "would
+have made a much more agreeable figure in heroics," to which Cowden
+Clarke replies, "Why, bless his head! the whole and sole intention of
+the poem is _mock_ heroic, and the structure of the verse is burlesque,"
+and he also tells us that Butler's rhymes constitute one feature of his
+wit. Certainly he had some strange terminations to his lines. Hudibras
+speaking of hanging Sidrophel and Whackum says:--
+
+  "I'll make them serve for perpendiclars
+   As true as e'er were used by bricklayers."
+
+One of the bear-baiting mob annoys Rapho's steed, who
+
+  "Began to kick, and fling, and wince,
+   As if he'd been beside his sense,
+   Striving to disengage from thistle
+   That gall'd him sorely under his tail."
+
+Again we have:--
+
+  "An ancient castle that commands
+   Th' adjacent parts, in all the fabric
+   You shall not see one stone, nor a brick."
+
+The astrologers made an instrument to examine the moon to
+
+  "Tell what her diameter per inch is;
+   And prove that she's not made of green cheese."
+
+By the interchange which often takes place between the poetical and
+ludicrous, this roughness of versification, then allowable, appears now
+so childish, that Lamb and Cowden Clark mistook it for humour. But we
+might extract from the writers of that day many ridiculous rhymes,
+evidently intended to be serious.
+
+The humour of Butler was in his time more popular than the sentiment of
+Milton, but he obtained no commensurate remuneration. Wycherley kindly
+endeavoured to interest Buckingham on his behalf, and had almost
+succeeded, when two handsome women passed by, and the Duke left him in
+pursuit of them. John Wesley's father has written Butler's epitaph in
+imperishable sarcasm:--
+
+  "See him when starved to death and turned to dust,
+   Presented with a monumental bust;
+   The poet's fate is here in emblem shown,
+   He asked for bread, and he received--a stone."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+Comic Drama of the Restoration--Etherege--Wycherley.
+
+
+The example set by Beaumont and Fletcher seems to have been much
+followed by their immediate successors. Decker wrote conjointly with
+Webster and Middleton, and it is sometimes difficult to distinguish his
+work. His power of invective was well known; and in his humour there is
+such straining after strong words and effective phrases, as to seem
+quite unnatural. His "Gull's Hornbook" is written against coxcombs, and
+he says their "vinegar railings shall not quench his Alpine
+resolutions."
+
+Etherege and Wycherley ushered in the comic drama of the Restoration.
+They were both courtiers, and the successful writers of this period took
+their tone from that of "the quality."
+
+George, (afterwards Sir George) Etherege was born in 1636. He was known
+as "Gentle George" or "Easy Etherege," and it is said that he was
+himself a fop, and painted the character of Dorimant in Sir Fopling
+Flutter from himself. In his principal plays there is very little
+humour, though he gives some amusing sketches of the affectations of the
+metropolis.
+
+     _Mistress Loveit._ You are grown an early riser, I hear.
+
+     _Belinda._ Do you not wonder, my dear, what made me abroad so soon?
+
+     _Lov._ You do not use to do so.
+
+     _Bel._ The country gentlewomen I told you of (Lord! they have the
+     oddest diversions) would never let me rest till I promised to go
+     with them to the markets this morning, to eat fruit and buy
+     nosegays.
+
+     _Lov._ Are they so fond of a filthy nosegay?
+
+     _Bel._ They complain of the stinks of the town, and are never well
+     but when they have their noses in one.
+
+     _Lov._ There are essences and sweet waters.
+
+     _Bel._ O, they cry out upon perfumes they are unwholesome, one of
+     'em was falling into a fit with the smell of these Narolii.
+
+     _Lov._ Methinks, in complaisance, you should have had a nosegay
+     too.
+
+     _Bel._ Do you think, my dear, I could be so loathsome to trick
+     myself up with carnations and stock-gilly flowers? I begged their
+     pardon, and told them I never wore anything but Orange-flowers and
+     Tuberose. That which made me willing to go was a strange desire I
+     had to eat some fresh nectarines.
+
+Wycherley was the son of a Shropshire gentleman who being a Royalist,
+and not willing to trust him to the Puritans, sent him to be educated in
+France. He became a Roman Catholic, but afterwards recanted.
+
+Wycherley was remarkable for his beauty, and stalwart proportions, he
+was called "manly" or "brawny" Wycherley; and the notorious Duchess of
+Cleveland was so captivated by his appearance, that she made his
+acquaintance when passing in her carriage by jocosely calling out at him
+some abusive epithets. Afterwards, we are told that she often visited
+Wycherley at the Temple, disguised as a country girl in a straw hat,
+with pattens on her feet, and a basket on her arm. Later, he had the
+misfortune to make the acquaintance of the Countess of Drogheda on the
+Pantiles at Tunbridge Wells, and by secretly marrying her incurred the
+King's displeasure. He was finally reduced to great distress, but James
+II., recognising his talent, gave him a pension, and saved him from
+destitution in his old age.
+
+Wycherley wrote his first play in 1667. In comparing him with
+Shakespeare we find the same difference as existed between the old and
+new comedy in Greece. Political characters have disappeared together
+with hostility and combats on the stage, while amorous intrigue is
+largely developed. There is at the same time considerable sprightliness
+in the dialogue, and the tricks, deceptions and misadventures of lovers
+fill the pages with much that is ingenious and amusing. In the
+"Gentleman Dancing Master," a young spark pretends to a rich father that
+he is only visiting his daughter to teach her to dance. A rival lover--a
+Frenchified puppy--is made unconsciously to co-operate in his own
+discomfiture, while the duped father jokes with the supposed "dancing
+master," and asks him whether he is not engaged to one of his rich
+pupils, laughing heartily at the picture he draws to himself of her
+father's indignation. Again, in "A Country Wife," a jealous husband
+obliges his spouse to write a disdainful letter to a gallant, but the
+lady slyly substitutes one of quite a different character, which the
+husband duly and pompously delivers to him. The humour of Wycherley is
+almost entirely of this kind. Here are no verbal quips, no sallies of
+professed fools, no stupidities of country boobies. These have passed
+away from good comedy. Speaking of the change, he says that formerly
+they were contented to make serving-men fools on the stage, "but now you
+shall scarcely see a fool on the stage who is not a knight." The fact
+was that a higher kind of humour was required, and accordingly we now,
+for the first time, hear of "wits"--men of good birth and position, who
+prided themselves on their talent. They were generally remarkable for
+their manners and address, and affected a superiority in acuteness, but
+not always in humour. Wycherley speaks of wits not exactly in the sense
+of humorists, but rather as coxcombs, endued with a certain cunning:
+"Your court wit is a fashionable, insinuating, flattering, cringing,
+grimacing fellow, and has wit enough to solicit a suit of love; and if
+he fail he has malice enough to ruin the woman with a dull lampoon; but
+he rails still at the man that is absent, for all wits rail; and his wit
+properly lies in combing perukes, matching ribbons, and being severe, as
+they call it, upon other peoples' clothes."
+
+     _Lydia._ Now, what is your coffee wit?
+
+     _Dapperwit._ He is a lying, censorious, gossiping, quibbling
+     wretch, and sets people together by the ears over that sober
+     drink--coffee; he is a wit as he is a commentator upon the Gazette;
+     and he rails at the pirates of Algiers, the Grand Signior of
+     Constantinople, and the Christian Grand Signior.
+
+     _Lydia._ What kind of wit is your pollwit?
+
+     _Dap._ He is a fidgetting, busy, dogmatical, hot-headed fop, that
+     speaks always in sentences and proverbs, and he rails perpetually
+     against the present Government. His wit lies in projects and
+     monopolies, and penning speeches for Parliament men--
+
+He goes on to speak of the scribble wit, and judge wit or critic, but in
+general wits were regarded as rakes and not long afterwards we find it
+debated whether a woman can be witty and virtuous.
+
+Wycherley did not aim much at facetiousness, nor introduce many humorous
+episodes, but passages incidentally occur which show he had considerable
+talent in that direction. The first from "Love in a Wood," is an
+ironical conflict between one Gripe, a rich but parsimous Alderman, and
+a Mrs. Joyner, a sly, designing old woman.
+
+     _Gripe._ I am full of your praise, and it will run over.
+
+     _Joyner._ Nay, sweet Sir, you are----
+
+     _Gripe._ Nay, sweet Mrs. Joyner, you are----
+
+     _Joy._ Nay, good your worship, you are----
+
+     (_Stops her mouth with his handkerchief_)
+
+     _Gripe._ I say you are----
+
+     _Joy._ I must not be rude with your worship.
+
+     _Gripe._ You are a nursing mother to the saints; through you they
+     gather together, through you they fructify and increase, and
+     through you the child cries out of the hand-basket.
+
+     _Joy._ Through you virgins are married, or provided for as well;
+     through you the reprobate's wife is made a saint; and through you
+     the widow is not disconsolate, nor misses her husband.
+
+     _Gripe._ Through you----
+
+     _Joy._ Indeed you will put me to the blush.
+
+     _Gripe._ Blushes are badges of imperfection--Saints have no shame.
+     You are the flower of matrons, Mrs. Joyner.
+
+     _Joy._ You are the pink of courteous Aldermen.
+
+     _Gripe._ You are the muffler of secrecy.
+
+     _Joy._ You are the head-band of Justice.
+
+     _Gripe._ Thank you, sweet Mrs. Joyner; do you think so indeed? You
+     are--you are the bonfire of devotion.
+
+     _Joy._ You are the bellows of zeal.
+
+     _Gripe._ You are the cupboard of charity.
+
+     _Joy._ You are the fob of liberality.
+
+     _Gripe._ You are the rivet of sanctified love or wedlock.
+
+     _Joy._ You are the pick-lock and dark-lantern of policy; and in a
+     word a conventicle of virtues.
+
+     _Gripe._ Your servant, your servant, sweet Mrs. Joyner! You have
+     stopped my mouth.
+
+     _Joy._ Your servant, your servant, sweet Alderman! I have nothing
+     to say.
+
+Indelicacy in words has by this time become very much reduced, although
+here and there we find some cant expressions of the day which shock our
+sensibilities. Much refinement in this respect could not be expected at
+a period where a young lady of fortune could be represented as calling
+her maid, and afterwards herself, a "damned jade," and a lady from the
+country as saying she had not yet had "her bellyful of sights" in
+London.
+
+"The Plain Dealer" is a naval captain in the time of the Dutch war.
+Olivia says,
+
+     "If he be returned, then shall I be pestered again with his
+     boisterous sea-love; have my alcove smell like a cabin, my chamber
+     perfumed with his tarpaulin Brandenburgh, and hear volleys of
+     brandy-sighs, enough to make a fog in one's room. Foh! I hate a
+     lover that smells like Thames Street."
+
+The Plain Dealer, _i.e._, the sea-captain Manly, meets with a lawyer,
+and they converse in this way,
+
+     _Manly._ Here's a lawyer I know threatening us with another
+     greeting.
+
+     _Lawyer._ Sir! Sir! your very servant; I was afraid you had
+     forgotten me.
+
+     _Man._ I was not afraid you had forgotten me.
+
+     _Law._ No, Sir; we lawyers have pretty good memories.
+
+     _Man._ You ought to have by your wits.
+
+     _Law._ O, you are a merry gentleman, Sir; I remember you were merry
+     when I was last in your company.
+
+     _Man._ I was never merry in your company, Mr. Lawyer, sure.
+
+     _Law._ Why I am sure you joked upon me, and shammed me all night
+     long.
+
+     _Man._ Shammed! prithee what barbarous law-term is that?
+
+     _Law._ Shamming! why, don't you know that? 'tis all our way of wit,
+     Sir.
+
+     _Man._ I am glad I don't know it, then. Shamming! what does he mean
+     by it, Freeman?
+
+     _Free._ Shamming is telling an insipid dull lie with a dull face,
+     which the sly wag, the author, only laughs at himself; and making
+     himself believe 'tis a good jest, puts the sham only upon himself.
+
+Manly meets an Alderman.
+
+     _Man._ Here's a city-rogue will stick as hard upon us as if I owed
+     him money.
+
+     _Ald._ Captain, noble Sir, I am yours heartily, d'ye see; why
+     should you avoid your old friends?
+
+     _Man._ And why should you follow me? I owe you nothing.
+
+     _Ald._ Out of my hearty respects to you; for there is not a man in
+     England----
+
+     _Man._ Thou wouldst save from hanging at the expense of a shilling
+     only.
+
+     _Ald._ Nay, nay, but Captain, you are like enough to tell me----
+
+     _Man._ Truth, which you wont care to hear; therefore you had better
+     go talk with somebody else.
+
+     _Ald._ No, I know nobody can inform me better of some young wit or
+     spendthrift, who has a good dipped seat and estate in Middlesex,
+     Hertfordshire, Essex, or Kent; any of these would serve my turn;
+     now if you know of such an one, and would but help----
+
+     _Man._ You to finish his ruin.
+
+     _Ald._ I' faith you should have a snip----
+
+     _Man._ Of your nose, you thirty in the hundred rascal; would you
+     make me your squire-setter?
+
+     (_Takes him by the nose._)
+
+Two lovers, Lord Plausible and Novel, have the following dialogue about
+their chances of success with a certain lady who is wooed by both.
+
+     _Novel._ Prithee, prithee, be not impertinent, my lord; some of you
+     lords are such conceited, well assured impertinent rogues.
+
+     _Plausible._ And you noble wits are so full of shamming and
+     drollery, one knows not where to have you seriously.
+
+     _Nov._ Prithee, my lord, be not an ass. Dost thou think to get her
+     from me? I have had such encouragements--
+
+     _Plau._ I have not been thought unworthy of 'em.
+
+     _Nov._ What? not like mine! Come to an éclaircissement, as I said.
+
+     _Plau._ Why, seriously then; she told me Viscountess sounded
+     prettily.
+
+     _Nov._ And me, that Novel was a name she would sooner change hers
+     for, than any title in England.
+
+     _Plau._ She has commended the softness and respectfulness of my
+     behaviour.
+
+     _Nov._ She has praised the briskness of my raillery in all things,
+     man.
+
+     _Plau._ The sleepiness of my eyes she liked.
+
+     _Nov._ Sleepiness! dulness, dulness. But the fierceness of mine she
+     adored.
+
+     _Plau._ The brightness of my hair she liked.
+
+     _Nov._ Brightness! no the greasiness, I warrant! But the blackness
+     and lustre of mine she admires.
+
+     _Plau._ The gentleness of my smile.
+
+     _Nov._ The subtilty of my leer.
+
+     _Plau._ The clearness of my complexion.
+
+     _Nov._ The redness of my lips.
+
+     _Plau._ The whiteness of my teeth.
+
+     _Nov._ My jaunty way of picking them.
+
+     _Plau._ The sweetness of my breath.
+
+     _Nov._ Ha! ha! nay there she abused you, 'tis plain; for you know
+     what Manly said: the sweetness of your pulvillio she might mean;
+     but for your breath! ha! ha! ha! Your breath is such, man, that
+     nothing but tobacco can perfume; and your complexion nothing could
+     mend but the small-pox.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+Tom Brown--His Prose Works--Poetry--Sir Richard
+  Blackmore--D'Urfey--Female Humorists--Carey.
+
+
+Whether it was owing to the commotions of the Civil War in which "fears
+and jealousies had soured the people's blood, and politics and polemics
+had almost driven mirth and good humour out of the nation," or whether
+it was from a dearth of eminent talent, humour seems to have made little
+progress under the Restoration. The gaiety of the Merry Monarch and his
+companions had nothing intellectual in it, and although "Tom" Brown[61]
+tells us that "it was during the reign of Charles II. that learning in
+general flourished, and the Muses, like other ladies, met with the
+civilest sort of entertainment," his own works show that the best wits
+of the day could not soar much above the attempts of Sedley and
+Rochester. Had Brown not acquired in his day the character of a
+humorist, we should think that he equally well deserved that of a man of
+learning, for whereas he shows an acquaintance with the classics and
+modern languages, his writings, which are of considerable length,
+contain little Attic salt. He was born in 1663, the son of a substantial
+Shropshire farmer, and was sent to Christ Church, Oxford, where he
+became as remarkable for his quickness and proficiency, as for the
+irregularity of his conduct. On one occasion, owing to his having been
+guilty of some objectionable frolic, he was about to be expelled, when,
+upon his writing a penitential letter, the Dean, who seems to have known
+his talent, promised to forgive him on his translating extempore the
+epigram of Martial.
+
+  "Non amo te, Zabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
+   Hoc tantum possum dicere non amo te."
+
+The young delinquent replied in words now better known than the
+original,
+
+  "I do not love you, Dr. Fell,
+   But why I cannot tell,
+   But this I know full well,
+   I do not love you, Dr. Fell."
+
+At this period he occasionally indulged in such silly effusions as the
+"Adverbial Declaration," which he first wrote in Latin, on "Mother
+Warner's bellows at Oxford."
+
+Brown was finally obliged to leave the University, and went up to London
+to seek his fortune. The unpromising and reckless spirit in which he
+set out, is probably reflected in one of his pieces entitled "A Dialogue
+between two Oxford scholars."
+
+     _A._ Well, I see thou art resolved to leave us. I will not say,
+     "Go, and be hanged," but go and turn country parson.
+
+     _B._ That's almost as bad, as the world goes now. But thanks to my
+     stars, I know a better trick than that.
+
+     _A._ It may be thou art fallen out with mankind, and intendest to
+     turn quack; or as they call it in the country, doctor.
+
+     _B._ No such matter; the _French_ can kill men fast enough, and for
+     women thou knowest my kindness.
+
+     _A._ But some of them have lived too long; and there are others so
+     miserable, that even compassion will incline thee to help them out
+     of the world. I can assure thee 'tis a profitable calling; for
+     whether thou dost kill or cure, thy fees will be put in thy hand.
+
+     _B._ Yes, when they are found. But, prithee, speak no more of it,
+     for I am resolved against it.
+
+     _A._ What, then, art thou resolv'd for the law? Methinks thou
+     should'st have too much University learning and wit for that
+     profession--
+
+     _B._ And too much honesty. But I'll spare thee the pains of
+     guessing, and tell thee in short what my condition is, and what I
+     design. My portion is all spent--save fifty pounds; and with that I
+     am resolved for London or some other wealthy place, where
+     conventicles abound: and as a man of tender conscience and
+     infinitely dissatisfied with several things in the Church of
+     England, I will endeavour by some means or other to force myself
+     into an acquaintance with some of their leading men, and more
+     especially with some of the most zealous and wonderful women among
+     them; and this point once gained, I doubt not, but before my stock
+     is half spent, I shall receive a call to be pastor or holder-forth
+     in some congregation or other--why dost smile?
+
+     _A._ At my friend's design. And I cannot but admire how it came
+     into thy head. Thy ability to manage such a design I know very
+     well; but how thou wilt dispense with the knavery of it, I am yet
+     to learn.
+
+     _B._ That's a small matter. As the world goes one must practise a
+     little knavery, or resolve to leave the world. Dost thou know that
+     religious cheats are licensed by a law? and shall I live and die
+     without taking advantage of it? Believe me, friend, Nature has
+     fitted me pretty well to be one of these godly mountebanks, and a
+     little art, together with a few months' conversation with that sort
+     of people will supply all natural defects. Cannot I put on, when I
+     please, a grave and serious countenance, and with head depending on
+     one shoulder a little more than on the other, sigh for the
+     iniquities of the time and corruptions of the Church? Cannot I wipe
+     mine eyes with the fair pocket-cloth, as if I wept for all your
+     abominations? Cannot I grieve in spirit as if ready to burst with
+     grief and compassion. And cannot I likewise, when time serves, and
+     company is disposed to be kindly affected with it, smile and fleer
+     as takingly? And what hurt is there in this? Sure I may use my own
+     face as I please.
+
+We need scarcely say that Brown failed in his shrewd scheming; and he
+was soon fain to take the humble position of a schoolmaster at Kingston
+upon Thames, for which his acquirements qualified him. But his literary
+ambition would not allow him to remain long at this drudgery, and we
+soon find him wandering up again to town, where he was again
+unfortunate. At this time, men of letters expected little from the sale
+of books; but often obtained patrons who conferred valuable appointments
+upon them. Brown's temper and position rendered him ineligible for this
+sort of promotion. Not being a gentleman by birth, he had no good
+introductions, nor would he have been very acceptable in the houses of
+the great. His coarseness in writing--excessive even in that day--was
+probably reflected in his manners and language, and he had so little
+prudence that he ridiculed not only the clergy, but was always ready to
+lose a friend rather than a joke. Mere literary talent will not procure
+success in society.
+
+Brown wrote a variety of essays, generally rather admonitory than
+humorous. His "Pocket-book of Common Places" resembles a collection of
+Proverbs or good sayings. It commences,
+
+"To see the number of churches and conventicles open every Sunday, a
+stranger would fancy London all religion. But to see the number of
+taverns, ale-houses, &c., he would imagine Bacchus was the only God that
+is worshipped there. If no _trades_ were permitted but those which were
+useful and necessary, Lombard Street, Cheapside, and the Exchange might
+go a-begging. For more are fed by our _vanities_ and _vices_ than by our
+virtues, and the necessities of Nature."
+
+But his favourite and characteristic mode of writing was under the form
+of letters. We have "Letters Serious and Comical," "Diverting Letters to
+Gentlemen." One letter is to four ladies with whom the author was in
+love at the same time.
+
+He probably took his idea of "Letters from the Dead to the Living," from
+Lucian. He never spares Dissenters, and comically makes a Quaker relate
+his warm reception in the lower world:--
+
+"A parcel of black spiritual Janissaries saluted me as intimately as if
+I had been resident in these parts during the term of an apprenticeship;
+at last, up comes a swinging, lusty, overgrown, austere devil, armed
+with an ugly weapon like a country dung-fork, looking as sharp about the
+eyes as a Wood Street officer, and seemed to deport himself after such a
+manner that discovered he had ascendancy over the rest of the immortal
+negroes, and as I imagined, so 'twas quickly evident; for as soon as he
+espied me leering between the diminutive slabbering-bib and the
+extensive rims of my coney-wood umbrella, he chucks me under the chin
+with his ugly toad-coloured paw, that stunk as bad of brimstone as a
+card-match new-lighted, saying, 'How now, Honest Jones, I am glad to see
+thee on this side the river Styx, prithee, hold up thy head, and don't
+be ashamed, thou art not the first Quaker by many thousands that has
+sworn allegiance to my government; besides, thou hast been one of my
+best benefactors on earth, and now thou shalt see, like a grateful
+devil, I'll reward thee accordingly.' 'I thank your excellence kindly,'
+said I, 'pray, what is it your infernal protectorship will be pleased
+to confer upon me?' To which his mighty ugliness replied, 'Friend
+Naylor, I know thou hast been very industrious to make many people fools
+in the upper world, which has highly conduced to my interest.' Then
+turning to a pigmy aërial, who attended his commands as a running
+footman, 'Haste, _Numps_,' says he, 'and fetch me the painted coat,'
+which was no sooner brought, but by Lucifer's command I was shoved into
+it, neck and shoulders, by half a dozen swarthy _valets de chambre_, and
+in a minute's time found myself tricked up in a rainbow-coloured coat,
+like a merry-Andrew. 'Now, friend,' says the ill-favoured prince of all
+the hell-born scoundrels, 'for the many fools you have made above, I now
+ordain you mine below;' so all the reward truly of my great services was
+to be made Lucifer's jester, or fool in ordinary to the devil; a pretty
+post, thought I, for a man of my principles, that from a Quaker in the
+outer world I should be metamorphosed into a jack-adam in the lower
+one."
+
+The occupation of people in the Nether world is described after
+Rabelais, thus:--"Cardinal Mazarin keeps a nine-holes; Mary of Medicis
+foots stockings; and Katharine of Sweden cries 'Two bunches a penny
+card-matches--two bunches a penny!' Henry the Fourth of France carries
+a raree-show, and Mahomet sells mussels. Seneca keeps a fencing-school,
+and Julius Cæsar a two-penny ordinary."
+
+At the present day it is rather amusing to read, "A Comical View of
+London and Westminster"--a weekly prophecy intended to ridicule the
+increasing use of barometers and other scientific instruments for
+predicting changes of weather.
+
+"Wednesday October 16th. Cloudy, foggy weather at Garraway's and
+Jonathan's, and at most coffee-houses at about twelve. Crowds of people
+gather at the Exchange by one; disperse by three. Afternoon, noisy and
+bloody at her Majesty's bear-garden at _Hockly-in-the-Hole_.
+Night--sober with broken chaplains and others that have neither credit
+nor money. This week's transactions censured by the virtuosos at
+_Child's_ from morning till night.
+
+"Thursday 17th. Coffee and water-gruel to be had at the Rainbow and
+Nando's at four. Hot furmity at Bride-bridge at seven. Justice to be had
+at _Doctor's Commons_, when people can get it. A lecture at Pinner's
+hall at ten. Excellent pease-pottage and tripe in Baldwin's Gardens at
+twelve. A constable and two watchmen killed, or near being so in
+_Westminster_; whether by a lord or lord's footman, planets don't
+determine.
+
+"Friday. Damsels whipped for their good nature at _Bridewell_ about ten.
+Several people put in fear of their lives by their god-fathers at the
+_Old Bailey_ at eleven. Great destruction of Herrings at one. Much
+swearing at three among the horse-coursers at Smithfield; if the oaths
+were registered as well as the horses, good Lord, what a volume 'twould
+make! Several tails turned up at St. Paul's School, Merchant Taylors,
+&c. for their repetitioning. Night very drunk, as the two former.
+
+"Saturday 19th. Twenty butchers' wives in Leadenhall and Newgate markets
+overtaken with sherry and sugar by eight in the morning. Shop-keepers
+walk out at nine to count the trees in Moorfields, and avoid duns.
+People's houses cleansed in the afternoon, but their consciences we
+don't know when. Evening pretty sober.
+
+"Sunday. Beggars take up their posts in Lincoln's Inn Fields and other
+places by seven, that they may be able to praise God in capon and March
+beer at night. Great jingling of bells all over the city from eight to
+nine. Parish clerks liquor their throats plentifully at eight, and
+chaunt out Hopkins most melodiously about ten. Sextons, men of great
+authority most part of the day, whip dogs out of the church for being
+obstreperous. Great thumping and dusting of the cushion at Salter's
+Hall about eleven; one would almost think the man was in earnest he lays
+so furiously about him. A most refreshing smell of garlic in
+Spittlefield's and Soho at twelve. Country fellows staring at the two
+wooden men at St. Dunstan's from one to two, to see how notably they
+strike the quarters. The great point of Predestination settled in
+Russell-court about three; and the people go home as wise as they came.
+Afternoon sleepy in most churches. Store of handkerchiefs stolen at St.
+Paul's. Night, not so sober as might be wished...."
+
+The following are some of the best specimens of Brown's poems--squibs on
+the fashions and occurrences of the day--
+
+  "The _emblem of the nation_, so grave and precise,
+   On the _emblem of wisdom_ has laid an excise;
+   Pray tell me, grave sparks, and your answer don't smother,
+   Why one representative taxes another?
+   The _Commons_ on _salt_ a new impost have laid
+   To tax _wisdom_ too, they most humbly are pray'd;
+   For tell me ye patrons of woollen and crape,
+   Why the _type_ should be fined and the substance escape?"
+
+A song in ridicule of a famous musician, who was caught serenading his
+mistress with his bass-viol on a very frosty night:--
+
+   Look down, fair garreteer bestow
+     One glance upon your swain,
+   Who stands below in frost and snow.
+     And shaking sings in pain.
+
+   Thaw with your eyes the frozen street,
+     Or cool my hot desire,
+   I burn within, altho' my feet
+     Are numbed for want of fire.
+             _Chorus_.
+
+   Thrum, thrum, thrum, thrum,
+   Come, come, come, come,
+      My dearest be not coy,
+   For if you are (zit, zan, zounds) I
+     Must without your favour die.
+
+The sentiment in the following is easily appreciated, but is there not
+also some slight essence of humour?
+
+
+  ON FLOWERS IN A LADY'S BOSOM.
+
+  Behold the promised land, where pleasures flow!
+  See how the milk-white hills do gently rise,
+      And beat the silken skies!
+  Behold the valley spread with flowers below!
+  The happy flowers, how they allure my sense!
+  The fairer soil gives them the nobler hue
+      Her breath perfumes them too:
+  Rooted i' th' heart they seem to spring from thence,
+  Tell, tell me why, thou fruitful virgin breast,
+  Why should so good a soil lie unpossest?
+
+Brown's humour partook of the coarseness of most of the writers of his
+times, and scandalized the more religious and decent muse of Sir Richard
+Blackmore, who endeavoured to correct this general failing in his
+"Satire upon Wit." This called forth many sarcastic replies, and
+critiques on Blackmore's works; such as Brown's "Epigram occasioned by
+the news that Sir R----d B----e's paraphrase upon Job was in the
+Press--"
+
+  "When Job contending with the devil I saw
+   It did my wonder, not my pity draw;
+   For I concluded that without some trick,
+   A saint at any time could match old Nick.
+   Next came a fiercer fiend upon his back,
+   I mean his spouse, stunning him with her clack,
+   But still I could not pity him, as knowing
+   A crab tree cudgel soon would send her going.
+   But when the quack engaged with Job I spy'd,
+   The Lord have mercy on poor Job I cry'd.
+   What spouse and Satan did attempt in vain
+   The quack will compass with his murdering pen,
+   And on a dunghill leave poor Job again,
+   With impious doggrel he'll pollute his theme,
+   And make the saint against his will blaspheme."
+
+Upon the knighting of Sir R----d B----e.
+
+  "Be not puffed up with knighthood, friend of mine,
+   A merry prince once knighted a Sir-loin,
+   And if to make comparisons were safe
+   An ox deserves it better then a calf.
+   Thy pride and state I value not a rush
+   Thou that art now Knight Phyz, wast once King Ush."
+
+Blackmore, who was successively physician to William III. and Queen
+Anne, had been once a schoolmaster.
+
+Tom Brown died at the early age of forty. His life was full of
+misfortunes, but we can scarcely say that he was unhappy, for nothing
+could conquer his buoyant spirit. At one time he was actually in prison,
+for what was deemed a libellous attack, but we are told that he obtained
+his "enlargement" from it, upon his writing the following Pindaric
+Petition to the Lords in Council.
+
+             "Should you order Tho' Brown
+              To be whipped thro' the town
+              For scurvy lampoon,
+              Grave _Southern_ and _Crown_
+              Their pens wou'd lay down;
+  Even D'Urfey himself, and such merry fellows
+  That put their whole trust in tunes and trangdillioes
+  May hang up their harps and themselves on the willows;
+  For if poets are punished for libelling trash
+  John Dryden, tho' sixty, may yet fear the lash.
+              No pension, no praise,
+              Much birch without bays,
+              These are not right ways
+              Our fancy to raise,
+              To the writing of plays
+              And prologues so witty
+              That jirk at the city,
+              And now and then hit
+              Some spark in the pit,
+              So hard and so pat
+              Till he hides with his hat
+              His monstrous cravat.
+              The pulpit alone
+              Can never preach down
+              The fops of the town
+                Then pardon Tho' Brown
+              And let him write on;
+  But if you had rather convert the poor sinner
+  His foul writing mouth may be stopped with a dinner.
+  Give him clothes to his back, some meat and some drink
+  Then clap him close prisoner without pen and ink
+  And your petitioner shall neither pray, write, or think."
+
+Unfortunately his pecuniary difficulties were not removed, but
+accompanied him through life. What a strange mixture of gaiety, learning
+and destitution is brought before us, when on a clamorons dun vowing she
+would not leave him until she had her money, he exclaimed in an
+extempore version of two lines of Martial--
+
+  "Sextus, thou nothing ow'st, nothing I say!
+   He something owes, that something has to pay."
+
+In an imitation of another epigram of Martial he gives an account of the
+unpromising position of his affairs:--
+
+  "Without formal petition
+   Thus stands my condition,
+   I am closely blocked up in a garret,
+   Where I scribble and smoke,
+   And sadly invoke
+   The powerful assistance of claret.
+   Four children and a wife
+   'Tis hard on my life,
+   Besides myself and a Muse
+   To be all clothed and fed,
+   Now the times are so dead,
+   By my scribbling of doggrel and news;
+   And what I shall do,
+   I'm a wretch if I know
+   So hard is the fate of a poet,
+   I must either turn rogue,
+   Or what's as bad--pedagogue,
+   And so drudge like a thing that has no wit."
+
+How much are we indebted to the pecuniary embarrassments of poets for
+the interest we take in them. Who could read sentiment written by a man
+faring sumptuously every day? Towards the end of his life, Brown became
+acquainted with Lord Dorset, and we read of his once dining with that
+nobleman and finding a note for fifty pounds under his plate. Tom Brown
+seems to have regarded with great contempt his contemporary Tom
+D'Urfey--best known as a composer of sonnets--words and music. He
+addresses to him "upon his incomparable ballads, called by him Pindaric
+Odes," the following acrimonious lines--
+
+  "Thou cur, half French half English breed,
+   Thou mongrel of Parnassus,
+   To think tall lines, run up to seed,
+   Should ever tamely pass us.
+
+  "Thou write Pindaricks and be damned
+   Write epigrams for cutlers,
+   None with thy lyricks can be shammed
+   But chambermaids and butlers.
+
+  "In t'other world expect dry blows;
+   No tears can wash thy stains out,
+   Horace will pluck thee by the nose
+   And Pindar beat thy brains out."
+
+Such unworthy attacks are not unfrequently made by ill-natured literary
+men. Brown was no doubt jealous of his rival, but Addison's generous
+heart formed a very different estimate of D'Urfey's talent. He says that
+after having "made the world merry he hopes they will make him easy" in
+his pecuniary affairs, for that although "Tom" had written more Odes
+than Horace, and four times as many Comedies as Terence, he was reduced
+to great difficulties by a set of men who had furnished him with the
+accommodations of life, and would not, as we say, "be paid with a song."
+"As my friend," he continues, "after the manner of all the old lyrics,
+accompanies his works with his own voice, he has been the delight of the
+most polite companies and conversations from the beginning of King
+Charles II.'s reign to our present times. Many an honest gentleman has
+got a reputation in his country by pretending to have been in company
+with Tom D'Urfey." "I myself remember King Charles II. leaning on Tom
+D'Urfey's shoulder more than once, and humming over a song with him. It
+is certain that monarch was not a little supported by 'Joy to great
+Cæsar,' which gave the Whigs such a blow as they were not able to
+recover that whole reign. My friend afterwards attacked Popery with the
+same success--he has made use of Italian tunes and Sonatas for promoting
+the Protestant interest, and turned a considerable part of the Pope's
+music against himself."
+
+Little need be added to this eloquent commendation, except that it was
+written to obtain patronage for a benefit in behalf of an aged poet and
+friend. D'Urfey wrote through the reigns of Charles II., James II.,
+William and Anne, into that of George I. His plays, which were thought
+attractive at the time, contained much that was gross, and were
+deficient in humour and power. Thus, they were soon forgotten, and
+neither he nor his rival Brown were able to reach a point, which would
+give them a permanent position in literature.
+
+The following description would have led us to expect something better
+of him, at least in farcical talent[62]--
+
+     "Mr. D'Urfey generally writes state-plays, and is wonderfully
+     useful to the world in such representations. This method is the
+     same that was used by the old Athenians, to laugh out of
+     countenance or promote opinions among the people. My friend has
+     therefore against this play is acted for his own benefit, made two
+     dances which may be also of an universal benefit. In the first he
+     has represented absolute power in the person of a tall man with a
+     hat and feathers, who gives his first minister who stands just
+     before him a huge kick; the minister gives the kick to the next
+     before; and so to the end of the stage. In this moral and practical
+     jest you are made to understand that there is in an absolute
+     government no gratification, but giving the kick you receive from
+     one above you to one below you. This is performed to a grave and
+     melancholy air; but on a sudden the tune moves quicker, and the
+     whole company fall into a circle and take hands; and then, at a
+     certain sharp note, they move round and kick as kick can. This
+     latter performance he makes to be the representation of a free
+     state; where, if you all mind your steps, you may go round and
+     round very jollily, with a motion pleasant to yourselves and them
+     you dance with: nay, if you put yourselves out, at the worst you
+     only kick and are kicked by friends and equals."
+
+But D'Urfey's short songs and poems were his most successful
+productions--sometimes he breathed martial strains in honour of
+Marlborough's victories, sometimes formed adulatory addresses to members
+of the Royal Family. His "Pills to purge Melancholy," at times
+approached humour. The following is taken from the "Banquet of the
+Gods," and refers to Hermes visiting the Infernal regions--
+
+  "Fierce Cerberus, who the gate did keep,
+   First with a sop he lays asleep,
+   Then forward goes to th' room of State,
+   Where on a lofty throne of jet,
+   The grizly King of Terrors sate,
+   Discoursing with his Proserpine
+   On things infernally divine.
+   To him the winged Ambassador
+   His message tells, then adds to her
+   How much her mother Ceres mourns
+   In Sicily, till she returns;
+   That now she hoped (the long half-year
+   Being ended) she would see her there,
+   And that instead of shrieks and howls,
+   The harmony of par-boiled souls,
+   She'd now divert with tunes more gay,
+   And go with her to see a play."
+
+D'Urfey often introduces fresh and pleasing glimpses of country life. He
+is more happy in this direction than in his humour, which generally
+drifted away into maudlin and indelicate love-making between
+pseudo-Roman Corydons and Phyllises. The following effusion is very
+characteristic of the times,--
+
+  "One _April_ morn, when from the sea
+     _Phoebus_ was just appearing!
+   Damon and Celia young and gay,
+     Long settled Love indearing;
+   Met in a grove to vent their spleen,
+     On parents unrelenting;
+   He bred of _Tory_ race had been,
+     She of the tribe _Dissenting_.
+
+  "Celia, whose eyes outshone the God,
+     Newly the hills adorning,
+   Told him mamma wou'd be stark mad,
+     She missing prayers that morning;
+   Damon, his arm around her waist,
+     Swore tho' nought should 'em sunder,
+   Shou'd my rough dad know how I'm blest,
+     T'would make him roar like thunder.
+
+  "Great ones whom proud ambition blinds,
+     By faction still support it,
+   Or where vile money taints the mind,
+     They for convenience court it;
+   But mighty Love, that scorns to show,
+     Party should raise his glory;
+   Swears he'll exalt a vassal true,
+     Let it be _Whig_ or _Tory_."
+
+The following is a song from "The Country Miss and her Furbelow."
+
+  "Celladon, when spring came on,
+   Woo'd Sylvia in a grove,
+   Both gay and young, and still he sung
+   The sweet Delights of Love.
+   Wedded joys in girls and boys,
+   And pretty chat of this and that,
+   The honey kiss, and charming bliss
+   That crowns the marriage bed;
+   He snatched her hand, she blushed and fanned
+   And seemed as if afraid,
+   'Forbear!' she crys, 'youre fawning lyes,
+   I've vowed to die a maid.'
+
+  "Celladon at that began
+   To talk of apes in hell,
+   And what was worse, the odious curse
+   Of growing old and stale.
+   Loss of bloom, when wrinkles come,
+   And offers kind when none will mind,
+   The rosie joy, and sparkling eye
+   Grown faded and decayed,
+   At which, when known, she changed her tone,
+   And to the shepherd said,
+   'Dear swain, give o'er, I'll think once more,
+   Before I'll die a maid.'"
+
+D'Urfey was a disciple of the "gentle art." Addison says "I must not
+omit that my friend angles for a trout, the best of any man in England.
+Mayflies come in late this season, or I myself should have had one of
+his hooking." We can thus understand his enthusiastic commendation of
+fishing--
+
+  "Of all the world's enjoyments,
+   That ever valu'd were,
+   There's none of our employments,
+   With fishing can compare;
+   Some preach, some write,
+   Some swear, some fight,
+   All golden lucre courting,
+   But fishing still bears off the bell
+   For profit or for sporting.
+
+  "_Chorus._--Then who a jolly fisherman, a fisherman will be?
+    His throat must wet,
+    Just like his net,
+    To keep out cold at sea.
+
+  "The country squire loves running
+   A pack of well-mouthed hounds,
+   Another fancies gunning
+   For wild ducks in his grounds;
+   This hunts, that fowls,
+   This hawks, Dick bowls,
+   No greater pleasure wishing,
+   But Tom that tells what sport excels,
+   Gives all the praise to fishing.
+     Then who, &c.
+
+  "A good _Westphalia gammon_
+   Is counted dainty fare;
+   But what is't to a salmon
+   Just taken from the Ware;
+   Wheat-ears and quailes,
+   Cocks, snipes and rayles,
+   Are prized while season's lasting,
+   But all must stoop to crawfish soup,
+   Or I've no skill in casting.
+     Then who, &c.
+
+  "And tho' some envious wranglers,
+   To jeer us will make bold,
+   And laugh at patient anglers,
+   Who stand so long i' th' cold;
+   They wait on Miss,
+   We wait on this,
+   And think it easie labour;
+   And if you know, fish profits too,
+   Consult our _Holland_ neighbour.
+     Then who, &c."
+
+D'Urfey was a favourite with Queen Anne, and many of his poems were
+written at Knole, Penshurst, and other seats of the nobility.
+
+Up to the time we have now reached, we have not had the opportunity of
+enrolling the name of a lady among our humorists. Although in society
+so many of the fair sparkle and overflow with quick and graceful
+raillery, we find that when they come to impress their thoughts upon
+paper they are invariably sentimental. Authors are often a contrast to
+their writings, but no doubt the female mind is generally of a poetical
+complexion. Thus, in the early part of the last century we meet with
+only three lady humorists, Mrs. Manley, mostly noted for her scandalous
+stories: Mrs. Behn, whose humour was crude, chiefly that of rough
+harlequinade and gross immorality, and Mrs. Centlivre. Early
+opportunities of study were afforded to the last in a remarkable way.
+When flying from the anger of her stepmother, she met Anthony Hammond,
+then at Cambridge, and went to live with him at the University,
+disguised in boy's clothes. Remarkable for her beauty, she married, when
+only fifteen, a nephew of Sir Stephen Fox, and upon his death at
+sixteen, a Captain Carrol, who was killed in a duel. It was then partly
+owing to pecuniary embarrassments that she went on the stage and wrote
+plays--the first of her dramas appearing in her twentieth year. So great
+was the prejudice then against lady writers, that at her publisher's
+suggestion her first production was anonymous. But those, who began by
+deriding her pretensions, ended by acknowledging her merit; she became
+a great favourite and constant writer for the stage, and an intimate
+friend of Farquhar and Steele. There is an absence of indelicacy in her
+plays, but not a little farcical humour, especially in the character of
+"Marplot" in "The Busybody," and of rich "Mrs. Dowdy" with her vulgarity
+and admirers in "The Platonic Lady." She often adopts the tone of the
+day in ridiculing learned ladies. In one place she speaks as if even at
+that time the founding of a college for ladies was in contemplation--
+
+     _Lady Reveller._ Why in such haste, Cousin Valeria?
+
+     _Valeria._ Oh! dear Cousin, don't stop me; I shall lose the finest
+     insect for dissection, a huge flesh fly, which Mr. Lovely sent me
+     just now, and opening the box to try the experiment, away it flew.
+
+     _Lady._ I am glad the poor fly escaped; will you never be weary of
+     these whimsies?
+
+     _Val._ Whimsies! Natural Philosophy a whimsy! Oh! the unlearned
+     world!
+
+     _Lady._ Ridiculous learning!
+
+     _Mrs. Alpiew._ Ridiculous indeed for women. Philosophy suits our sex
+     as jack-boots would do.
+
+     _Val._ Custom would bring them as much in fashion as furbelows, and
+     practice would make us as valiant as e'er a hero of them all; the
+     resolution is in the mind. Nothing can enslave that.
+
+     _Lady._ My stars! This girl will be mad--that's certain.
+
+     _Val._ Mad! So Nero banished philosophers from _Rome_, and the
+     first discoverer of the _Antipodes_ was condemned for a heretic.
+
+     _Lady._ In my conscience, Alpiew, this pretty creature's spoiled.
+     Well, cousin, might I advise you should bestow your fortune in
+     founding a college for the study of philosophy, where none but
+     women should be admitted; and to immortalize your name, they
+     should be called _Valerians_;--ha! ha! ha!
+
+     _Val._ What you make a jest of, I'd execute, were fortune in my
+     power.
+
+Her notices of married life are interesting, as she had great
+experience, having taken for her third husband Mr. Centlivre, cook to
+Queen Anne. In "The Wonder, a Woman keeps a Secret," we have the
+following dialogue upon this important subject:
+
+     _Col. Britton._ 'Egad, I think I must e'en marry, and sacrifice my
+     body for the good of my soul; wilt thou recommend me to a wife,
+     then--one that is willing to exchange her moydores for English
+     Liberty--ha friend?
+
+     _Fred._ She must be very handsome, I suppose?
+
+     _Col._ The handsomer the better, but be sure she has a nose.
+
+     _Fred._ Ay! ay! and some gold.
+
+     _Col._ Oh, very much gold. I shall never be able to swallow the
+     matrimonial pill, if it be not well gilded.
+
+     _Fred._ Puh, beauty will make it slide down nimbly.
+
+     _Col._ At first, perhaps it may, but the second or third dose will
+     choke me. I confess, Frederick, women are the prettiest playthings
+     in nature; but gold, substantial gold gives 'em the air, the mien,
+     the shape, the grace and beauty of a goddess.
+
+     _Fred._ And has not gold the same divinity in their eyes, Colonel?
+
+     _Col._ Too often--money is the very god of marriage, the poets
+     dress him in a saffron robe by which they figure out the golden
+     Deity, and his lighted torch blazons those mighty charms, which
+     encourage us to list under his banner.
+
+In "The Artifice" we have a matrimonial contention:
+
+     _Lucy._ If you two are one flesh, how come you to have different
+     minds, pray, Sir?
+
+     _Watchit._ Because the mind has nothing to do with the flesh.
+
+     _Mrs. W._ That's your mistake, Sir; the body is governed by the
+     mind. So much philosophy I know.
+
+     _Wat._ Yes, yes; I believe you understand natural philosophy very
+     well, wife; I doubt not the flesh has got the better of the spirit
+     in you. Look ye, madam! every man's wife is his vineyard; you are
+     mine, therefore I wall you in. Ods budikins, ne'er a coxcomb in the
+     kingdom shall plant as much as a primrose in my ground.
+
+     _Mrs. W._ I am sure your management will produce nothing but
+     thorns.
+
+     _Wat._ Nay, every wife is a thorn in her husband's side. Your whole
+     sex is a kind of sweet-briar, and he who meddles with it is sure to
+     prick his fingers.
+
+     _Lucy._ That is when you handle us too roughly.
+
+     _Mrs. W._ You are a kind of rue: neither good for smell nor taste.
+
+     _Wat._ But very wholesome, wife.
+
+     _Mrs. W._ Ay, so they say of all bitters, yet I would not be
+     obliged to feed on gentian and wormwood.
+
+Some subjects are peculiarly suitable for light female humour. In "The
+Beau's Duel, or a Soldier for the Ladies," we have the following
+soliloquy by Sir William Mode, a fop, as he stands in his night-gown
+looking into his glass:
+
+     This rising early is the most confounded thing on earth, nothing so
+     destructive to the complexion. Blister me, how I shall look in the
+     side box to-night, wretchedly upon my soul. [_looking in the glass
+     all the while._] Yet it adds something of a languishing air, not
+     altogether unbecoming, and by candle light may do mischief; but I
+     must stay at home to recover some colour, and that may be as well
+     laid on too; so 'tis resolved I will go. Oh 'tis unspeakable
+     pleasure to be in the side box, or bow'd to from the stage, and be
+     distinguished by the beaux of quality, to have a lord fly into
+     one's arms, and kiss one as amorously as a mistress. Then tell me
+     aloud, that he dined with his Grace and that he and the ladies were
+     so fond of me, they talked of nothing else. Then says I, "My lord,
+     his Grace does me too much honour." Then, my lord, "This play 'tis
+     not worth seeing; we havn't been seen at t'other house to-night;
+     and the ladies will be disappointed not to receive a bow from Sir
+     William." "He, he, he," says I, "my lord, I wait upon your
+     lordship." "Then," says my lord, "lead the way Sir William." "O,
+     pray my lord, I beg your lordship's pardon." "Nay, Sir William."
+     "Pray my lord," (_Enter La Riviere, Sir W's valet_). "Pray Sir
+     William." "Pray my lord."
+
+     (_As he says this several times La Riviere enters behind him, but
+     as he designs to pass by him, is still prevented by his turning
+     from one side to t'other, as he acts himself for the lord._)
+
+     _La Riv._ Hey! What the devil is he conjuring and talking with
+     invisible lords? He's in his airs, some pleasing imagination
+     hurries him out of his senses. But I must to my cue. Hem! hem! Sir,
+     dere be one two gentlemen below come to wait upon you dis morning,
+     sal I show dem up?
+
+     _Sir. W._ No, my lord, by no means, I know better things--
+
+     _La Riv._ What then am I a lord? Egad I never knew my quality
+     before. (_Aside._)
+
+     _Sir W._ Pshaw! this blockhead has rous'd me from the prettiest
+     entertainment in the world (_Aside_). Well, what would you, Sir?
+
+     _La Riv._ I voo'd tell you, Sir, dere be one two gentlemen wait
+     upon you.
+
+     _Sir W._ And let 'em wait till I have done. I had a thousand fine
+     things to say on that occasion, but this rude fellow has frightened
+     'em all out of my head. (_Aside._) Well, since my better diversion
+     is over, show 'em up.
+
+In "The Wonder" we have an amusing scene between Lissardo, servant to
+Felix, and Flora, maid to Violante. The former had been very sweet upon
+the latter--telling her that his "chaps watered for a kiss," and that
+"he would revenge himself on her lips;" but a change comes over him on
+his being presented by Violante with a ring to be worn for his master's
+sake.
+
+     _Lissardo._ I shall, Madam, (_puts on the ring._) Methinks a
+     diamond ring is a vast addition to the little finger of a
+     gentleman. (_Admiring his hand._)
+
+     _Flora._ That ring must be mine. Well, Lissardo, what haste you
+     make to pay off arrears now? Look how the fellow stands!
+
+     _Liss._ Egad! methinks I have a very pretty hand--and very
+     white--and the shape! Faith! I never minded it so much before! In
+     my opinion it is a very fine shaped hand, and becomes a diamond
+     ring as well as the first grandee's in Portugal.
+
+     _Flo._ The man's transported! Is this your love? This your
+     impatience?
+
+     _Liss._ (_Takes snuff._) Now in my mind, I take snuff with a very
+     jaunty air. Well, I am persuaded I want nothing but a coach and a
+     title to make me a very fine gentleman.
+
+     (_Struts about._)
+
+     _Flo._ Sweet Mr. Lissardo, (_curtseying_,) if I may presume to
+     speak to you, without affronting your little finger--
+
+     _Liss._ Do so, Madam, I ask your pardon. Is it to me or to the ring
+     you direct your discourse, Madam?
+
+     _Flo._ Madam! Good lack! how much a diamond ring improves one!
+
+     _Liss._ Why, tho' I say it, I can carry myself as well as anybody.
+     But what wert thou going to say, child?
+
+     _Flo._ Why, I was going to say, that I fancy you had best let me
+     keep that ring; it will be a very pretty wedding-ring.
+
+     _Liss._ Would it not? Humph! Ah! But--but--but--I believe I shan't
+     marry yet a while.
+
+     _Flo._ You shan't, you say; very well! I suppose you design that
+     ring for Inis?
+
+     _Liss._ No, no, I never bribe an old acquaintance. Perhaps I might
+     let it sparkle in the eyes of a stranger a little, till we come to
+     a right understanding. But then, like all other mortal things, it
+     would return from whence it came.
+
+     _Flo._ Insolent! Is that your manner of dealing?
+
+     _Liss._ With all but thee--kiss me, you little rogue, you.
+
+     (_Hugging her._)
+
+     _Flo._ Little rogue! Prithee, fellow, don't be so familiar,
+     (_pushing him away_,) if I mayn't keep your ring, I can keep my
+     kisses.
+
+     _Liss._ You can, you say! Spoke with the air of a chambermaid.
+
+     _Flo._ Reply'd with the spirit of a serving-man.
+
+D'Urfey is said to have been the first, and Carey the last of those who
+at this period united the professions of musician, dramatist and song
+writer. The latter was the natural son of the Marquis of Halifax, who
+presented the crown to William III. He wrote the popular song "Sally in
+our Alley," and ridiculed Ambrose Philips in a poem called "Namby
+Pamby." Overcome either by embarrassed circumstances, or the envy of
+rivals, he died by his own hand in 1743. He has much that is clever
+mingled with extravagant fancies. Most of his songs are amorous, though
+never indelicate. Some are for drinking bouts.
+
+  "Come all ye jolly Bucchanals
+   That love to tope good wine,
+   Let's offer up a hogshead
+   Unto our master's shrine,
+   Come, let us drink and never shrink,
+   For I'll tell you the reason why,
+   It's a great sin to leave a house till we've drunk the cellar dry.
+   In times of old I was a fool,
+   I drank the water clear,
+   But Bacchus took me from that rule,
+   He thought 'twas too severe;
+   He filled a bumper to the brim
+   And bade me take a sup,
+   But had it been a gallon pot,
+   By Jove I'd tossed it up.
+   And ever since that happy time,
+   Good wine has been my cheer,
+   Now nothing puts me in a swoon
+   But water or small beer.
+   Then let us tope about, my lads,
+   And never flinch nor fly,
+   But fill our skins brimfull of wine,
+   And drain the bottles dry."
+
+Many of his plays were burlesque operas, introducing songs. In one of
+them the "Dragon of Wantley," we have--
+
+  "Zeno, Plato, Aristotle,
+   All were lovers of the bottle;
+   Poets, Painters, and Musicians,
+   Churchmen, Lawyers, and Physicians;
+     All admire a pretty lass,
+     All require a cheerful glass,
+     Every pleasure has its season,
+     Love and drinking are no treason."
+
+He was fond of jocose love-ditties, such as:
+
+  "Pigs shall not be
+   So fond as we;
+   We will out-coo the turtle-dove,
+     Fondly toying,
+     Still enjoying,
+   Sporting sparrows we'll outlove."
+
+Among his successful farces is the well-known Chrononhotonthologos
+written to ridicule some bombastic tragedies of the day.
+Chrononhotonthologos is king of Queerummania, Bombardinian is his
+general, while his courtiers are Aldiborontiphoscophornio and Rigdum
+Funnidos. The following gives a good specimen of his ballad style.
+
+  "O! London is a dainty place,
+   A great and gallant city,
+   For all the streets are paved with gold,
+   And all the folks are witty.
+
+  "And there's your lords and ladies fine,
+   That ride in coach-and-six,
+   Who nothing drink but claret wine,
+   And talk of politicks.
+
+  "And there's your beauxs with powdered clothes,
+   Bedaubed from head to shin;
+   Their pocket-holes adorned with gold,
+   But not one sous within."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+Vanbrugh--Colley Cibber--Farquhar.
+
+
+Vanbrugh--a man of Dutch extraction as his name suggests--was one of the
+few whom literature led, though indirectly, to fortune. He became first
+known as a playwriter, but also having studied architecture conceived
+the idea of combining his two arts by the construction of a grand
+theatre on the site of the present Haymarket Opera House. The enterprise
+was doomed to be one of the many failures from which that ill-starred
+spot has become remarkable, and Vanbrugh after vainly attempting to
+support his undertaking by the exertion of all his dramatic power,
+determined to quit literature altogether, and devoted himself to the
+more remunerative profession. In this he was successful--he built
+Blenheim, Castle Howard, and half-a-dozen of the stately halls of
+England. We may suppose that he acquired wealth, for he built several
+houses for himself, and in them seems to have exhibited his whimsical
+fancy. One which he built near Whitehall was called by Swift "a thing
+like a goose pie," and he called that which he built for himself, near
+Greenwich, "the mince pie."
+
+There is a considerable amount of rough humour in Vanbrugh, and some
+indelicacy, more like that of Aristophanes than of English writers. We
+find one gentleman calling another "Old Satan," and fashionable ladies
+indulging freely in oaths. A nobleman tells a lady, before her husband,
+that he is desperately in love with her, "strike me speechless;" to
+which she replies by giving him a box on the ear, and her husband by
+drawing his sword. Everything bespeaks a low and primitive state of
+society; but we must also remember that while something strong was
+required, it was not then thought objectionable that the scenes of the
+drama should be very different from those of real life.
+
+The following are from the "Relapse," the first play that made Vanbrugh
+known, and which we might therefore expect to be one of his most
+humorous comedies. Here we have a good caricature of the fops of the
+day. In the first, Lord Foppington in his fashionable twang, gives us
+his views, and sketches his mode of life.
+
+     _Amanda._ Well I must own I think books the best entertainment in
+     the world.
+
+     _Lord F._ I am so much of your ladyship's mind, madam, that I have
+     a private gallery where I walk sometimes, which is furnished with
+     nothing but books and looking glasses. Madam, I have gilded 'em so
+     prettily, before G--, it is the most entertaining thing in the
+     world to walk and look upon 'em.
+
+     _Amanda._ Nay, I love a neat library too, but 'tis I think the
+     inside of a book should recommend it most to us.
+
+     _Lord F._ That, I must confess, I am not altogether so fond of. For
+     to my mind the inside of a book is to entertain oneself with the
+     forced product of another man's brain. Now, I think a man of
+     quality and breeding may be much better diverted with the natural
+     sprouts of his own. But to say the truth, madam, let a man love
+     reading never so well, when once he comes to know this town, he
+     finds so many better ways of passing away the four-and-twenty hours
+     that 'twere ten thousand pities he should consume his time in that.
+     For example, madam, my life, my life, madam, is a perpetual stream
+     of pleasure that glides through such a variety of entertainments, I
+     believe the wisest of our ancestors never had the least conception
+     of any of 'em. I rise, madam, about ten o'clock. I don't rise
+     sooner because it is the worst thing in the world for the
+     complexion, not that I pretend to be a beau, but a man must
+     endeavour to look wholesome, lest he make so nauseous a figure in
+     the side box, the ladies should be compelled to turn their eyes
+     upon the play. So at ten o'clock I say I rise. Now, if I find it a
+     good day I resolve to take a turn in the park, and see the fine
+     women; so huddle on my clothes and get dressed by one. If it be
+     nasty weather I take a turn in the chocolate house, where as you
+     walk, madam, you have the prettiest prospect in the world; you have
+     looking glasses all round you. But I'm afraid I tire the company.
+
+     _Berinthia._ Not at all; pray go on.
+
+     _Lord F._ Why then, ladies, from thence I go to dinner at Lacket's,
+     where you are so nicely and delicately served that, stab my vitals!
+     they shall compose you a dish no bigger than a saucer, shall come
+     to fifty shillings. Between eating my dinner (and washing my mouth,
+     ladies) I spend my time till I go to the play, when till nine
+     o'clock I entertain myself with looking upon the company; and
+     usually dispose of one hour more in leading them out. So there's
+     twelve of the four-and-twenty pretty well over. The other twelve,
+     madam, are disposed of in two articles, in the first four I toast
+     myself drunk, and t'other eight I sleep myself sober again. Thus,
+     ladies, you see my life is an eternal round O of delight.
+
+Lord Foppington's interview with his Court artists is well described--
+
+     _Tom Fashion._ There's that fop now, has not by nature wherewithal
+     to move a cook-maid, and by that time these fellows have done with
+     him, egad he shall melt down a countess! But now for my reception;
+     I'll engage it shall be as cold a one as a courtier's to his
+     friend, who comes to put him in mind of his promise.
+
+     _Lord F._ (_to his tailor._) Death and eternal tortures! Sir, I say
+     the packet's too high by a foot.
+
+     _Tailor._ My lord, if it had been an inch lower it would not have
+     held your lordship's packet-handkerchief.
+
+     _Lord F._ Rat my packet-handkerchief! have not I a page to carry
+     it? You may make him a packet up to his chin a purpose for it; but
+     I will not have mine come so near my face.
+
+     _Tailor._ 'Tis not for me to dispute your lordship's fancy.
+
+     _Lord F._ Look you, Sir, I shall never be reconciled to this
+     nauseous packet, therefore pray get me another suit with all manner
+     of expedition, for this is my eternal salvation. Mrs. Calico, are
+     not you of my mind?
+
+     _Mrs. Cal._ O, directly, my lord! It can never be too low.
+
+     _Lord F._ You are positively in the right on't, for the packet
+     becomes no part of the body but the knee.
+
+     (_Exit tailor._)
+
+     _Mrs. Cal._ I hope your lordship is pleased with your steenkirk.
+
+     _Lord F._ In love with it, stap my vitals! bring your bill, you
+     shall be paid to-morrow.
+
+     _Mrs. C._ I humbly thank your honour. (_Exit._)
+
+     _Lord F._ Hark thee, shoemaker! these shoes an't ugly but they
+     don't fit me.
+
+     _Shoemaker._ My lord, methinks they fit you very well.
+
+     _Lord F._ They hurt me just below the instep.
+
+     _Shoe._ (_feeling his foot_) My lord, they don't hurt you there.
+
+     _Lord F._ I tell thee they pinch me execrably.
+
+     _Shoe._ My lord, if they pinch you I'll be bound to be hanged,
+     that's all.
+
+     _Lord F._ Why wilt thou undertake to persuade me that I cannot
+     feel?
+
+     _Shoe._ Your lordship may please to feel what you think fit; but
+     the shoe does not hurt you. I think I understand my trade.
+
+     _Lord F._ Now by all that's great and powerful thou art an
+     incomprehensible coxcomb! but thou makest good shoes and so I'll
+     bear with thee.
+
+Tom Fashion personates his brother, Lord Foppington, and goes down to
+the country seat of Sir Tunbelly Clumpsey, in hope of marrying his rich
+daughter. The old Squire at first turns out to meet him with guns and
+pitchforks, but changes to the utmost servility on hearing that he is a
+lord. It is now Tom's object to have the marriage ceremony performed
+before he is discovered.
+
+     _Fashion._ Your father, I suppose you know, has resolved to make me
+     happy in being your husband, and I hope I may depend upon your
+     consent to perform what he desires.
+
+     _Miss Hoyden._ Sir, I never disobey my father in anything but
+     eating of green gooseberries.
+
+     _Fash._ So good a daughter must needs be an admirable wife; I am
+     therefore impatient till you are mine, and hope you will so far
+     consider the violence of my love as not to defer my happiness so
+     long as your father designs it.
+
+     _Miss H._ Pray, my lord, how long is that?
+
+     _Fash._ Madam, a thousand years--a whole week.
+
+     _Miss H._ A week! why I shall be an old woman by that time.
+
+     _Fash._ And I an old man.
+
+     _Miss H._ Why I thought it was to-morrow morning as soon as I was
+     up, I am sure nurse told me so.
+
+     _Fash._ And it shall be to-morrow morning still, if you'll consent.
+
+     _Miss H._ If I'll consent! Why I thought I was to obey you as my
+     husband.
+
+     _Fash._ That's when we're married, till then I am to obey you.
+
+     _Miss H._ Why then if we are to take it by turns it's the same
+     thing. I'll obey you now, and when we are married you shall obey
+     me.
+
+     _Fash._ With all my heart; but I doubt we must get nurse on our
+     side, or we shall hardly prevail with the chaplain.
+
+     _Miss H._ O Lord, I can tell you a way how to persuade her to
+     anything.
+
+     _Fash._ How's that?
+
+     _Miss H._ Why tell her she's a wholesome comely woman, and give her
+     half-a-crown.
+
+     _Fash._ Nay, if that will do, she shall have half a score of them.
+
+     _Miss H._ O gemini! for half that she'd marry you herself. I'll run
+     and call her.
+
+     _Fash._ So matters go swimmingly. This is a rare girl i' faith. I
+     shall have a fine time on't with her in London, I'm much mistaken
+     if she don't prove a March hare all the year round. What a
+     scampering chase will she on't, when she finds the whole kennel of
+     beaux at her tail! hey to the park, and the play, and the church
+     and the devil; she'll show them sport, I'll warrant 'em. But no
+     matter, she brings me an estate that will afford me a separate
+     maintenance.
+
+The following from "The Provoked Husband," gives a good specimen of
+social hypocrisy.
+
+     _Servant._ Madam, here's my Lady Fanciful to wait upon your
+     ladyship.
+
+     _Lady Brute._ Shield me, kind heaven! what an inundation of
+     impertinence is here coming upon us!
+
+At the end of this unwelcome visit, we have the following hit at the
+ceremonious politeness then fashionable.
+
+     _Lady B._ What going already, madam.
+
+     _Lady Fan._ I must beg you excuse me this once, for really I have
+     eighteen visits to return this afternoon. So you see I am
+     importuned by the women as well as by the men.
+
+     _Bel._ (_aside_). And she's quits with 'em both.
+
+     _Lady F._ Nay, you shan't go one step out of the room.
+
+     _Lady B._ Indeed, I'll wait upon you down.
+
+     _Lady F._ No sweet, Lady Brute, you know I swoon at ceremony.
+
+     _Lady B._ Pray give me leave.
+
+     _Lady F._ You know I wont.
+
+     _Lady B._ Indeed I must.
+
+     _Lady F._ Indeed you shan't.
+
+     _Lady B._ Indeed I will.
+
+     _Lady F._ Indeed you shan't.
+
+     _Lady B._ Indeed I will.
+
+     _Lady F._ Indeed you shan't, indeed, indeed, indeed you shan't.
+     (_Exit running._)
+
+The aversions and disputes of husbands and wives furnish the subject of
+some of his humour. Sir John Brute says:--
+
+     "Sure if women had been ready created, the devil instead of being
+     kicked down in hell had been married."
+
+     _Lady Brute._ Are you afraid of being in love, Sir?
+
+     _Heartfree._ I should if there were any danger of it.
+
+     _Lady B._ Pray, why so?
+
+     _Heart._ Because I always had an aversion to being used like a dog.
+
+     _Belinda._ Why truly, men in love are seldom used much better.
+
+     _Lady B._ But were you never in love, Sir?
+
+     _Heart._ No, I thank heaven, madam.
+
+     _Bel._ Pray, where got you your learning then?
+
+     _Heart._ From other people's expense.
+
+     _Bel._ That's being a spunger, Sir, which is scarce honest. If
+     you'd buy some experience with your own money, as 'twould be
+     fairlier got, so 'twould stick longer by you.
+
+            *       *       *       *       *
+
+     _Berinthia._ Ah, Amanda, it's a delicious thing to be a young
+     widow!
+
+     _Aman._ You'll hardly make me think so.
+
+     _Ber._ Phu! because you are in love with your husband; but that is
+     not every woman's case.
+
+     _Aman._ I hope 'twas yours at least.
+
+     _Ber._ Mine, say ye? Now I have a great mind to tell you a lie, but
+     I should do it so awkwardly you'd find me out.
+
+     _Aman._ Then e'en speak the truth.
+
+     _Ber._ Shall I? Then after all, I did love him, Amanda, as a man
+     does penance.
+
+     _Aman._ Why did you not refuse to marry him, then?
+
+     _Ber._ Because my mother would have whipped me.
+
+     _Aman._ How did you live together?
+
+     _Ber._ Like man and wife--asunder. He loved the country, I the
+     town. He hawks and hounds, I coaches and equipage. He eating and
+     drinking, I carding and playing. He the sound of a horn, I the
+     squeak of a fiddle. Whenever we met we gave one another the spleen.
+
+     _Aman._ But tell me one thing truly and sincerely.
+
+     _Ber._ What's that?
+
+     _Aman._ Notwithstanding all these jars, did not his death at last
+     extremely trouble you?
+
+     _Ber._ O, yes. Not that my present pangs were so very violent, but
+     the after pangs were intolerable. I was forced to wear a beastly
+     widow's band a twelvemonth for 't.
+
+In the "Journey to London," written at the end of Vanbrugh's life, and
+not finished, there is a very amusing account of the manner in which a
+country squire and family travelled up to London in the seventeenth
+century.
+
+     _James._ They have added two cart-horses to the four old mares,
+     because my lady will have it said she came to town in her
+     coach-and-six; and ha! ha! heavy George, the ploughman, rides
+     postilion!
+
+     _Uncle Richard._ Very well; the journey begins as it should
+     do--James!
+
+     _James._ Sir!
+
+     _Uncle R._ Dost know whether they bring all the children with them?
+
+     _James._ Only Squire Humphry and Miss Betty, Sir; the other six are
+     put to board at half-a-crown a week a head with Joan Growse, at
+     Smoke-dunghill Farm.
+
+     _Uncle R._ The Lord have mercy upon all good folks! What work will
+     these people make! Dost know when they'll be here?
+
+     _James._ John says, Sir, they'd have been here last night, but that
+     the old wheezy-belly horse tired, and the two fore-wheels came
+     crash down at once in Waggon-rut Lane. Sir, they were cruelly
+     loaden, as I understand. My lady herself, he says, laid on four
+     mail trunks, besides the great deal-box, which fat Tom sat upon
+     behind.
+
+     _Uncle R._ So.
+
+     _James._ Then within the coach there was Sir Francis, my lady, the
+     great fat lap-dog, Squire Humphry, Miss Betty, my lady's maid, Mrs.
+     Handy, and Doll Tripe, the cook--but she puked with sitting
+     backward, so they mounted her into the coach-box.
+
+     _Uncle R._ Very well.
+
+     _James._ Then, Sir, for fear of a famine before they should get to
+     the baiting-place, there was such baskets of plum-cake, Dutch
+     gingerbread, Cheshire cheese, Naples biscuits, maccaroons, neats'
+     tongues, and cold boiled beef; and in case of sickness, such
+     bottles of usquebaugh, black-cherry brandy, cinnamon water, sack,
+     tent, and strong beer, as made the old coach crack again.
+
+     _Uncle R._ Well said!
+
+     _James._ And for defence of this good cheer, and my lady's little
+     pearl necklace, there was the family basket-hilt sword, the great
+     Turkish cimiter, the old blunder-buss, a good bag of bullets, and a
+     great horn of gunpowder.
+
+     _Uncle R._ Admirable!
+
+Vanbrugh's friend, Colley Cibber, was also of foreign origin. His father
+was a native of Holstein, and coming over to England before the
+Restoration, is known as having executed the two figures of lunatics,
+for the gates of Bethlehem Hospital. Colley commenced life as an actor
+and playwriter, and Vanbrugh was so pleased with his "Love's Last Shift,
+or the Fool of Fashion," that he wrote an improved version of it in "The
+Relapse." Thus Sir Novelty Fashion was developed into Lord Foppington,
+and Vanbrugh, who patronized Cibber, employed him to act the character.
+He was an exception to the rule that a good playwriter is not a good
+performer. In Cibber, we especially mark the Spanish element, which then
+tinged the drama, and although somewhat prosy and sententious, he is
+fertile and entertaining in his love intrigues. Of real humour, he seems
+to have no gift--some of his best attempts referring to such common
+failures as sometimes occur at hotels. We have in "She wou'd, and she
+wou'd not,"
+
+     _Host._ Did you call, gentlemen?
+
+     _Trapparti._ Yes, and bawl too, Sir. Here the gentlemen are almost
+     famished, and nobody comes near 'em. What have you in the house now
+     that will be ready presently?
+
+     _Host._ You may have what you please, Sir.
+
+     _Hypolita._ Can you get us a partridge?
+
+     _Host._ We have no partridges; but we'll get you what you please in
+     a moment. We have a very good neck of mutton, Sir, if you please,
+     it shall be clapt down in a moment.
+
+     _Hyp._ Have you any pigeons or chickens?
+
+     _Host._ Truly, Sir, we have no fowl in the house at present; if you
+     please, you may have anything else in a moment.
+
+     _Hyp._ Then, prithee, get us some young rabbits.
+
+     _Host._ Upon my word, Sir, rabbits are so scarce, they are not to
+     be had for money.
+
+     _Trap._ Have you any fish?
+
+     _Host._ Fish! Sir; I dressed yesterday the finest dish that ever
+     came upon a table; I am sorry we have none, Sir; but, if you
+     please, you may have anything else in a moment.
+
+     _Trap._ Hast thou nothing but Anything else in the house?
+
+     _Host._ Very good mutton, Sir.
+
+     _Hyp._ Prithee, get us a breast, then.
+
+     _Host._ Breast! Don't you love the neck, Sir?
+
+     _Hyp._ Ha' ye nothing in the house but the neck?
+
+     _Host._ Really, Sir, we don't use to be so unprovided, but at
+     present we have nothing else left.
+
+     _Trap._ Faith, Sir, I don't know but a Nothing else may be very
+     good meat, when Anything else is not to be had.
+
+Sometimes there is a little smartness in the dialogue, and in the
+"Careless Husband," Lord Foppington uses such strange expletives as "Sun
+burn me," "Stop my breath," "Set my blood." But the greater part of any
+amusement that there is, depends, as in the Roman Comedy, upon the
+tricks of low-minded mercenary servants.
+
+Although neither of the two last-named writers was English by descent,
+they were both so by adoption, and the same may be said of the next
+author, Farquhar, who was born at Londonderry in 1678, but whose Irish
+characters want the charm of the pure national comicality. He was the
+son of a clergyman who sent him to the University, but his taste being
+averse to the prescribed course of study, he left it, and became an
+actor. Want of voice soon excluded him from the stage, and he entered
+the army--a profession which we might conclude, from the experiences of
+Wycherley and Vanbrugh, was somewhat favourable for the cultivation of
+dramatic talent. The constant companionship of men of wild and fanciful
+dispositions, the leisure for observing their talents and peculiarities,
+and the perpetual demand for the exercise of light repartee, would all
+tend to furnish effective materials for the stage. Farquhar soon
+married, and his poverty, with an increasing family, led to his
+producing a play nearly every year from 1703 to 1707. Finally he sold
+out, and was in deep distress. Speaking of his condition with his
+accustomed gaiety, he says:--
+
+     "I have very little estate, but what is under the circumference of
+     my hat, and should I by perchance come to lose my head, I should
+     not be worth a groat."
+
+He thus sketches his mental peculiarities:--
+
+     "As to my mind, which in most men wears as many changes as their
+     body, so in me 'tis generally drest like my person, in black.
+     Melancholy is its every-day apparel; and it has hitherto found few
+     holidays to make it change its clothes. In short, my constitution
+     is very splenetic and yet very amorous, both which I endeavour to
+     hide lest the former should offend others, and that the latter
+     might incommode myself; and my reason is so vigilant in restraining
+     these two failings, that I am taken for an easy-natured man with my
+     own sex, and an ill-natured clown by yours."
+
+Farquhar was very fond of jesting about his own misfortunes, and perhaps
+the following from "Love in a Bottle," exhibits a scene in which he had
+been himself an actor in real life.
+
+     _Widow Bullfinch._ Mr. Lyric, what do you mean by all this? Here
+     you have lodged two years in my house, promised me eighteen-pence a
+     week for your lodging, and I have never received eighteen
+     farthings, not the value of _that_, Mr. Lyric, (_snaps her
+     fingers._) You always put me off with telling me of your play, your
+     play! Sir, you shall play no more with me: I'm in earnest.
+
+     _Lyric._ There's more trouble in a play than you imagine, Madam.
+
+     _Bull._ There's more trouble with a lodger than you think, Mr.
+     Lyric.
+
+     _Lyric._ First there's the decorum of time.
+
+     _Bull._ Which you never observe, for you keep the worst hours of
+     any lodger in town.
+
+     _Lyric._ Then there's the exactness of characters.
+
+     _Bull._ And you have the most scandalous one I ever heard....
+
+     _Lyric._ (_Aside_) Was ever poor rogue so ridden. If ever the Muses
+     had a horse, I am he. (_Aloud_) Faith! Madam, poor Pegasus is
+     jaded.
+
+     _Bull._ Come, come, Sir; he shan't slip his neck out of collar for
+     all that. Money I will have, and money I must have.
+
+The above is taken from Farquhar's first play, and we generally find
+richer humour in the first attempts of genius than in their later and
+more elaborate productions. Widow Bullfinch says that "Champagne is a
+fine liquor, which all your beaux drink to make em' witty."
+
+     _Mockmode._ Witty! oh by the universe I must be witty! I'll drink
+     nothing else. I never was witty in all my life. I love jokes
+     dearly. Here, Club, bring us a bottle of what d'ye call it--the
+     witty liquor.
+
+     _Bull._ But I thought that all you that were bred at the University
+     would be wits naturally?
+
+     _Mock._ The quite contrary, Madam, there's no such thing there. We
+     dare not have wit there for fear of being counted rakes. Your solid
+     philosophy is all read there, which is clear another thing. But now
+     I will be a wit, by the universe.... Is that the witty liquor? Come
+     fill the glasses. Now that I have found my mistress, I must next
+     find my wits.
+
+     _Club._ So you had need, master, for those that find a mistress are
+     generally out of their wits. (_Gives him a glass._)
+
+     _Mock._ Come, fill for yourself. (_They jingle and drink._) But
+     where's the wit now, Club? Have you found it?
+
+     _Club._ Egad! master, I think 'tis a very good jest.
+
+     _Mock._ What?
+
+     _Club._ What? why drinking--you'll find, master, that this same
+     gentleman in the straw doublet, this same will-i'-th'-wisp is a wit
+     at the bottom. (_Fills._) Here, here, master; how it puns and
+     quibbles in the glass!
+
+     _Mock._ By the universe, now I have it!--the wit lies in the
+     jingling. All wit consists most in jingling; hear how the glasses
+     rhyme to one another.
+
+Again:--
+
+     _Mock._ Could I but dance well, push well,[63] play upon the flute,
+     and swear the most modish oaths, I would set up for quality with
+     e'er a young nobleman of 'em all. Pray what are the most
+     fashionable oaths in town? Zoons, I take it, is a very becoming
+     one.
+
+     _Rigadoon._ (_a dancing-master._) Zoons is only used by the
+     disbanded officers and bullies, but zauns is the beaux
+     pronunciation.
+
+     _Mock._ Zauns!
+
+     _Rig._ Yes, Sir; we swear as we dance; smooth and with a
+     cadence--Zauns! 'Tis harmonious, and pleases the ladies, because it
+     is soft. Zauns, Madam, is the only compliment our great beaux pass
+     on a lady.
+
+     _Mock._ But suppose a lady speaks to me; what must I say?
+
+     _Rig._ Nothing, Sir; you must take snuff grin, and make her a
+     humble cringe--thus: (_Bows foppishly and takes snuff; Mockmode
+     imitates him awkwardly, and taking snuff, sneezes._) O Lord, Sir!
+     you must never sneeze; 'tis as unbecoming after orangery as grace
+     after meat.
+
+     _Mock._ I thought people took it to clear the brain.
+
+     _Rig._ The beaux have no brains at all, Sir; their skull is a
+     perfect snuff-box; and I heard a physician swear, who opened one of
+     'em, that the three divisions of his head were filled with
+     orangery, bergamot, and plain Spanish.
+
+     _Mock._ Zauns! I must sneeze, (_sneezes._) Bless me!
+
+     _Rig._ Oh, fy! Mr. Mockmode! what a rustical expression that is!
+     'Bless me!' You should upon all such occasions cry, Dem me! You
+     would be as nauseous to the ladies as one of the old patriarchs, if
+     you used that obsolete expression.
+
+Sir Harry Wildair gives a good sketch of a lady's waiting-woman of the
+time.
+
+     _Colonel Standard._ Here, here, Mrs. Parly; whither so fast?
+
+     _Parly._ Oh Lord! my master! Sir, I was running to Mademoiselle
+     Furbelow, the French milliner, for a new burgundy for my lady's
+     head.
+
+     _Col. S._ No, child; you're employed about an old-fashioned
+     garniture for your master's head, if I mistake not your errand.
+
+     _Parly._ Oh, Sir! there's the prettiest fashion lately come over!
+     so airy, so French, and all that. The pinners are double ruffled
+     with twelve plaits of a side, and open all from the face; the hair
+     is frizzled all up round the head, and stands as stiff as a bodkin.
+     Then the favourites hang loose on the temples, with a languishing
+     lock in the middle. Then the caul is extremely wide, and over all
+     is a coronet raised very high, and all the lappets behind.
+
+This lady on being questioned, says that her wages are ten pounds a
+year, but she makes two hundred a year of her mistress's old clothes.
+
+But Farquhar is best known as the author of the "Beaux Stratagem."
+Though not so full of humour, as "Love in a Bottle," it had more action
+and bolder sensational incidents. The play proved a great success, but
+one which will always have sad associations. It came too late. Farquhar
+died in destitution, while the plaudits resounded in his ears.
+
+The following are specimens from his last play:--
+
+(Aimwell (a gentleman of broken fortune looking for a rich wife) goes to
+church in the country to further his designs.)
+
+     _Aimwell._ The appearance of a stranger in a country church draws
+     as many gazers as a blazing star; no sooner he comes into the
+     cathedral, but a train of whispers runs buzzing round the
+     congregation in a moment: _Who is he?_ _Whence comes he?_ _Do you
+     know him?_ Then I, Sir, tips me the verger with half-a-crown; he
+     pockets the simony, and inducts me into the best pew in the church;
+     I pull out my snuff-box, turn myself round, bow to the bishop, or
+     the dean, if he be the commanding officer, single out a beauty,
+     rivet both my eyes to hers, set my nose a bleeding by the strength
+     of imagination, and show the whole church my concern--by my
+     endeavouring to hide it; after the sermon the whole town gives me
+     to her for a lover, and by persuading the lady that I am a-dying
+     for her, the tables are turned, and she in good earnest falls in
+     love with me.
+
+     _Archer._ There's nothing in this, Tom, without a precedent; but
+     instead of rivetting your eyes to a beauty, try to fix 'em upon a
+     fortune; that's our business at present.
+
+     _Aim._ Psha! no woman can be a beauty without a fortune. Let me
+     alone, for I am a marksman.
+
+Talking afterwards of Dorinda, whom he observes in church, he says,
+
+     _Aimwell._ Call me Oroondates, Cesario, Amadis, all that romance
+     can in a lover paint, and then I'll answer:--O, Archer! I read her
+     thousands in her looks, she looked like Ceres in her harvest; corn,
+     wine and oil, milk and honey, gardens, groves, and purling streams
+     played in her plenteous face.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+Congreve--Lord Dorset.
+
+
+The birthplace of Congreve is uncertain, but he was born about 1671, and
+was educated in Kilkenny and Dublin. He is an instance of that union of
+Irish versatility with English reflection, which has produced the most
+celebrated wits. We also mark in him a considerable improvement in
+delicacy. "The Old Batchelor" was his first play, the success of which
+was so great that Lord Halifax made him one of the commissioners for
+licensing hackney-coaches; he afterwards gave him a place in the Pipe
+Office and Custom House.
+
+Belmour begins very suitably by saying--
+
+     "Come come, leave business to idlers, and wisdom to fools; they
+     have need of 'em. Wit be my faculty, and pleasure my occupation;
+     and let Father Time shake his glass."
+
+Speaking of Belinda, he says--
+
+     "In my conscience I believe the baggage loves me, for she never
+     speaks well of me herself, nor suffers anybody else to rail at me."
+
+Heartwell, an old bachelor, says--
+
+     "Women's asses bear great burdens; are forced to undergo dressing,
+     dancing, singing, sighing, whining, rhyming, flattery, lying,
+     grinning, cringing, and the drudgery of loving to boot.... Every
+     man plays the fool once in his life, but to marry is to play the
+     fool all one's life long."
+
+In Belinda we have a specimen of one of the fast young ladies of the
+period, who certainly seems to have used strong language. She cries,
+
+     Oh, that most inhuman, barbarous, hackney-coach! I am jolted to a
+     jelly, am I not horridly touz'd?
+
+She chides Belmour,
+
+     Prithee hold thy tongue! Lord! he has so pestered me with flowers
+     and stuff, I think I shan't endure the sight of a fire for a
+     twelvemonth.
+
+     _Belmour._ Yet all can't melt that cruel frozen heart.
+
+     _Bel._ O, gad! I hate your hideous fancy--you said that once
+     before--if you must talk impertinently, for Heaven's sake let it be
+     with variety; don't come always like the devil wrapped in flames.
+     I'll not hear a sentence more that begins with, "I burn," or an "I
+     beseech you, Madam."
+
+At last she exclaims,
+
+     "O! my conscience! I could find in my heart to marry thee, purely
+     to be rid of thee."
+
+There is frequently a conflict of wit. Sharper tells Sir Joseph Willot
+that he lost many pounds, when he was defending him in a scuffle the
+night before. He hopes he will repay him.
+
+     Money is but dirt, Sir Joseph; mere dirt, Sir Joseph.
+
+     _Sir Joseph._ But I profess 'tis a dirt I have washed my hands of
+     at present.
+
+Lord Froth in "The Double Dealer" says,
+
+     There is nothing more unbecoming in a man of gravity than to laugh,
+     to be pleased with what pleases the crowd. When I laugh, I always
+     laugh alone.
+
+     _Brisk._ I suppose that's because you laugh at your own jests.
+
+Sir Paul Plyant in great wroth expresses himself as follows:
+
+The subjects of Congreve's Comedies would often be thought objectionable
+at the present day. The humour is not in the plot, but in the general
+dialogue. In "Love for Love," Ben Legend, a sailor, speaking of lawyers,
+says--
+
+     Lawyer, I believe there's many a cranny and leak unstopt in your
+     conscience. If so be that one had a pump to your bosom, I believe
+     we should discern a foul hold. They say a witch will sail in a
+     sieve, but I believe the devil would not venture aboard your
+     conscience.
+
+The last play he wrote, which failed, was deficient in wit, but had
+plenty of inebriety in it. After singing a drinking song, Sir Wilful
+says in "The Way of the World."
+
+     The sun's a good pimple, an honest soaker, he has a cellar at your
+     Antipodes. If I travel, Aunt, I touch at your Antipodes--your
+     Antipodes are a good rascally sort of topsy-turvy fellows. If I had
+     a bumper I'd stand on my head, and drink a health to them.
+
+            *       *       *       *       *
+
+     _Scandal._ Yes, mine (_pictures_) are not in black and white, and
+     yet there are some set out in their true colours, both men and
+     women. I can show you pride, folly, affectation, wantonness,
+     inconstancy, covetousness, dissimulation, malice and ignorance all
+     in one piece. Then I can show your lying, foppery, vanity,
+     cowardice, bragging, incontinence, and ugliness in another piece,
+     and yet one of them is a celebrated beauty, and t'other a professed
+     beau. I have paintings, too, some pleasant enough.
+
+     _Mrs. Frail._ Come, let's hear 'em.
+
+     _Scan._ Why, I have a beau in a bagnio cupping for a complexion,
+     and sweating for a shape.
+
+     _Mrs. F._ So----
+
+     _Scan._ Then I have a lady burning brandy in a cellar with a
+     hackney coachman.
+
+     _Mrs. F._ Oh! well, but that story is not true.
+
+     _Scan._ I have some hieroglyphics, too; I have a lawyer with a
+     hundred hands, two heads, and but one face; a divine with two faces
+     and one head; and I have a soldier with his brains in his belly,
+     and his heart where his head should be.
+
+It has been said that Congreve retired on the appearance of Mrs.
+Centlivre, but so high was the opinion entertained of his genius that he
+was buried in Westminster Abbey, and his pall was supported by noblemen.
+Pope was one of his greatest admirers, and dedicated his translation of
+Homer to him.
+
+Dryden writes on Congreve.
+
+  "In easy dialogue is Fletcher's praise,
+   He moved the mind, but had not power to raise,
+   Great Jonson did by strength of judgment please,
+   Yet doubling Fletcher's force, he wants his ease.
+   In differing talents both adorned their age,
+   One for the study, t'other for the stage,
+   But both to Congreve justly shall submit,
+   One matched in judgment, both over-matched in wit."
+
+Macaulay says "the wit of Congreve far outshines that of every comic
+writer, except Sheridan, who has arisen within the last two centuries."
+
+Lord Dorset of whom we have above spoken deserves some passing notice.
+He was high in the favour of Charles II., James, and William; and was
+one of the most accomplished of the courtiers of that day, who,
+notwithwstanding their dissipation, were more or less scholars, and
+wrote poetry. What was better, he was a munificent supporter of real
+literary genius, and patronized Dryden, and to judge by their
+commendations was not neglectful of Congreve and Pope.
+
+Most of his poems are in the pastoral strain, but do not show any great
+talent. Two or three of them have some humour--
+
+  "Dorinda's sparkling wit and eyes
+   United, cast too fierce a light,
+   Which blazes high, but quickly dies,
+   Pains not the heart, but hurts the sight;
+
+         *       *       *       *       *
+
+  "Love is a calmer, gentler joy,
+   Smooth are his looks, and soft his pace;
+   Her cupid is a blackguard boy
+   That runs his link right in your face."
+
+Lord Dorset was at the battle of Opdam when the Dutch Admiral's fleet
+was destroyed in 1665. The night before the engagement he wrote the well
+known epistle
+
+  "To all you ladies now on land,
+   We men at sea indite,
+   And first would have you understand
+   How hard it is to write;
+   The Muses now and Neptune too,
+   We must implore to write to you.
+                  With a fa la la la la.
+
+  "For though the Muses should prove kind,
+   And fill our empty brain,
+   Yet if rough Neptune raise the wind,
+   To wave the azure main,
+   Our paper, pen and ink, and we,
+   Roll up and down our ships at sea.
+                  With a fa, la, &c.
+
+  "Should foggy Opdam chance to throw
+   Our sad and dismal story,
+   The Dutch would scorn so weak a foe,
+   And quit their fort at Goree;
+   For what resistance can they find
+   From men who've left their hearts behind?
+                  With a fa, la, &c.
+
+  "In justice you cannot refuse
+   To think of our distress,
+   When we for hope of honour lose
+   Our certain happiness;
+   All those designs are but to prove
+   Ourselves more worthy of your love.
+                  With a fa, la, &c.
+
+  "And now we've told you all our loves,
+   And likewise all our fears,
+   In hopes this declaration moves,
+   Some pity from your tears;
+   Let's hear of no inconstancy,
+   We have too much of that at sea.
+                  With a fa la la la la."
+
+We can easily understand how the above lines were suggested, for in
+those times the same officers served both in army and navy, and many of
+the young sparks taken from the gaieties of London had not yet acquired
+their sea legs. Wycherley is said to have been present at some of the
+engagements with the Dutch.
+
+
+END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] Of course this will scarcely apply in those cases in which, by
+abstraction, we overlook the creative action of the mind, and regard its
+humorous productions as ludicrous. Nor does it hold good where from long
+exercise of ingenuity a habit has been formed and amusing fancies spring
+up, as it were naturally, and so involuntarily that, for the moment, we
+see them only as ludicrous. This view changes almost instantaneously,
+and beneath it we often find the best humour. It may be said that such
+cases should be placed entirely under the head of humour, but can we
+maintain that a man is unaware when he is humorous? The most telling
+effects are produced by the ludicrous, and where the creative action of
+the mind is scarcely discernible. Efforts to be humorous are seldom
+crowned with success; we require something that appears to be real or
+original, either as a close rendering of actual occurrences, or a
+spontaneous efflorescence of genius. Among the latter class we may
+reckon some of our most exquisite and permanent sayings.
+
+[2] A story is told of a Mr. Crispe, a merchant of London, who although
+deaf, when Sir Alexander Cary made a speech before his execution,
+followed the motion of his lips so as to be able to relate it to his
+friends.
+
+[3] Mrs. Barbauld had such a perpetual smile that one of her friends
+said it made her jaws ache to look at her.
+
+[4] St. Paul, who was brought up at the feet of Gamaliel, gives a
+different account in Rom. iv. 19. See also Heb. xi. 11.
+
+[5] Soame Jenyns strangely imagined that a portion of the happiness of
+Seraphim and of just men made perfect would be derived from an exquisite
+perception of the ludicrous; while Addison mentions that a learned monk
+laid it down as a doctrine that laughter was the effect of original sin,
+and that Adam could not laugh before the fall. Some of the early
+Christians felt so strongly the incompatibility of strong human emotions
+with the divine nature that they expunged the words "Jesus wept."
+
+[6] Perhaps Solomon was amused by them, for in the catalogue of the
+valuable things brought in his ships are apes and peacocks.
+
+[7] I cannot see in Homer any of that philosophic satire on the
+condition of mortals, which some have found in those passages where men
+are represented as being deceived and tricked by the gods. Anything so
+deep would be beyond humour. He very probably conceived that the gods,
+whom he represented as similar to men, were sometimes not above playing
+severe practical jokes on them. The so-called irony of Sophocles in like
+manner, is too philosophical and bitter for humour.
+
+[8] Tom Brown, the humorist, says, Lycambes complimented the Iambics of
+Archilochus with the most convincing proof of their wit and goodness.
+
+[9] Archilochus could not have been called a satirist in the correct
+sense of the word. His observations were mostly personal or
+philosophical. He had evidently considerable power in illustrating the
+moral by the physical world, and one of his sayings "Speak not evil of
+the dead," has become proverbial.
+
+[10] Irony had previously been used in Asia. The only specimens of
+humour in the Old Testament are of this character, as in Job, "No doubt
+but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you;" where Elijah says
+to the prophets of Baal, "Cry aloud, for he is a god," and the children
+call after Elisha, "Go up, thou bald-head."
+
+[11] Magnes and others of the day used similar titles. We read that
+there were once three Homeric hymns extant, named "The Monkeys," "The
+seven-times-shorn Goat," and "The Song on the Thrushes."
+
+[12] After disposing of his daughters for a bunch of garlic and a little
+salt, he exclaims, "Oh, Mercury, God of Traffic, grant that I may sell
+my wife as profitably, and my mother too!"
+
+[13] So the pun may be represented.
+
+[14] Certainly not before 460 B.C.
+
+[15] Compare our "Billingsgate."
+
+[16] We sometimes speak of a seedy coat.
+
+[17] The answers to the above riddles are, thistledown, sleep, night and
+day, shade.
+
+[18] "Gugga" seems to have corresponded with our "Nigger."
+
+[19] About three and nine pence.
+
+[20] Roman mirrors made of silver.
+
+[21] _Scurra_ originally meant a neighbour, then a gossip, then a
+pleasant fellow, and finally a jocose, and in those rude times a
+scurrilous man.
+
+[22] There is a story of Caligula having had an actor burnt alive for
+making an offensive pun in an Atellane play. Sometimes nicknames were
+thus made. Placidus was Acidus, Labienus, Rabienus; Claudius Tiberius
+Nero was Caldius Biberius Mero.
+
+[23] I have been obliged to omit some of the pungent indelicacy of the
+original. The Pope was the sacrificing priest.
+
+[24] We meet with such words as _verrucosus_, _sanna_, a grimace, and
+_stloppus_, the sound made by striking the inflated cheeks.
+
+[25] "A satirist is always to be suspected, who to make vice odious
+dwells upon all its acts and minutest circumstances with a sort of
+relish and retrospective fondness."--_Lamb._
+
+[26] Palindromes, such as "Tibi subito motibus ibit." We have some in
+English, as where our forefather addresses his wife "Madam, I'm Adam."
+
+[27] Pyrogenes has a double meaning, "born of corn," and "born of fire,"
+alluding to Bacchus' mother having been burnt. Bromos is a kind of
+cereal, Bromion a name for Bacchus.
+
+[28] A man of Capreæ, having caught an unusually large barbel, presented
+it to Tiberius, who was so enraged at his being able to find him in his
+retreat, that he ordered his face to be scrubbed with the fish.
+
+[29] Some of the pagans put off Christian baptism till the last moment
+under this idea.
+
+[30] There seems to me to be several reasons for drawing this
+conclusion.
+
+[31] "Semel minusne, an bis minus; non sat scio, An utrumque eorum,
+ut quondam audivi dicier Jovi ipsi regi noluit concedere."
+
+[32] The answers to these enigmas are rose, fleas, sea-mew, visions,
+wheels.
+
+[33] As late as the fourteenth century there were only four classical
+works in the Royal Library at Paris.
+
+[34] Ritson characteristically observes, "There is this distinction
+between the heathen deities and Christian saints, that the fables of the
+former were indebted for their existence to the flowing inspiration of
+the sublime poet, and the legends of the latter to the gloomy fanaticism
+of a lazy monk or a stinking priest."
+
+[35] Sometimes anciently called "West Wales."
+
+[36] King Alfred advanced so far as to make a translation of a classical
+history written by Orosius in 416; but the object of the work was to
+show that Christianity was not the cause of the evils which had befallen
+the Roman Empire.
+
+[37] Two of them are mentioned as superior to Homer. One pretended to be
+derived from Dares, a Phrygian, who fought on the Trojan side, and
+another from Dictys, a Cretan, who was with the Greeks.
+
+[38] The kind of stories prevalent in these countries may be conjectured
+from the two related by John of Bromton, as believed by the natives. One
+relates that the head of a child lies at the bottom of the Gulf of
+Sataliah in Asia Minor, and that when the head is partly upright, such
+storms prevail in the gulf that no vessel can live, but when it is lying
+down there is a calm. The other asserts that once in every month a great
+black dragon comes in the clouds, plunges his head into the stream, but
+leaves his tail in the sky, and draws up the water, so that even ships
+are carried into the air. The only way for sailors to escape this
+monster, is to make a great noise by beating and shouting, so as to
+frighten him.
+
+[39] Originally an Arcadian superstition.
+
+[40] Pinnacles.
+
+[41] Tiles.
+
+[42] The following is the original.
+
+  "Meum est propositum in taberna mori,
+   Vinum sit appositum morientis ori,
+   Ut dicant cum venerint angelorum chori,
+   Deus sit propitius huic potatori."
+
+[43] An idea probably borrowed from the classical writers.
+
+[44] Or the "Amiable," a translation of his father's name.
+
+[45] Mr. Drummond in his Life of Erasmus.
+
+[46] Reprinted by Halliwell.
+
+[47] See "Art-Journal."
+
+[48] I remember to have seen such a procession at Como in the Holy Week.
+The various accessories of the Passion were borne along on the top of
+poles with appropriate mottoes, for example: Two ladders crossed, "He
+bowed the heavens and came down." A stuffed cock, "The cock crew." A
+barber's basin, "Pilate washed his hands," &c. The effect was almost
+ludicrous.
+
+[49] Lucian makes the father of Cleanthis congratulate himself on having
+obtained a buffoon for his son's wedding feast. This individual was an
+ugly little fellow with close shaven head, except a few straggling hairs
+made up to resemble a cock. He began by dancing and contorting his body
+and spouting some Ægytian verses, then he launched all kinds of
+fooleries at the company. Most laughed, but on his calling Alcidamas a
+Maltese puppy, he was challenged to fight or have his brains dashed out.
+
+[50] But this may have been traditional, for the fools in classic times
+were sometimes shaven.
+
+[51] Wright's "History of the Grotesque."
+
+[52] Such as the Wife of Bath's tale, and in "January and May," or the
+"Marchante's Tale."
+
+[53] She was roasting a pig.
+
+[54] Most of the ridiculous answers said to have been made at
+examinations are mere humorous inventions. We almost think there must be
+a slight improvement made in the following, though they are upon the
+authority of an examiner,
+
+   What are the great Jewish Feasts?
+   Purim, Urim, and Thummin.
+   What bounded Samaria on the East?
+   The Jordan.
+   What on the West?
+   The other side of Jordan.
+   Derive an English word from the Latin _necto_?
+   Necktie.
+
+Nor can we doubt that a slight humorous colouring has been introduced
+into the following from the "Memorials of Archibald Constable," recently
+published by his son.--An old deaf relation said on her death-bed to her
+attendant, "Ann, if I should be spared, I hope my nephew will get the
+doctor to open my head, and see whether anything can be done for my
+hearing."
+
+[55] One of Anne Boleyn's principal favourites was Sir Thomas Wyatt, who
+was celebrated at that day as a man of humour, though at present we see
+nothing in his poems but a few poetical conceits. The titles of them are
+suggestive: "The Lover sending sighs to move his suit." "Of his Love who
+pricked her finger with a needle." "The Lover praiseth the beauty of his
+Lady's hand." He wrote the following upon the Queen's name:--
+
+  "What word is that, that changeth not,
+   Though it be turned and made in twain?
+   It is mine Anna, God it wot,
+   The only causer of my pain;
+   My love that meedeth with disdain;
+   Yet is it loved, what will you more?
+   It is my salve and eke my sore."
+
+
+[56] Christina of Sweden made a similar remark when the Order of the
+Garter was sent to Charles Gustavus.
+
+[57] Pace had said the same to Queen Elizabeth, and from such strokes
+jesters were called 'honest,' as 'Honest Jo,' &c.
+
+[58] There is little humour in Shadwell's works; he succeeded Dryden as
+Poet Laureate, which was perhaps the cause of the above lines.
+
+Rochester said, "If Shadwell had burnt all he wrote, and printed all he
+spoke, he would have had more wit and humour than any poet." Probably
+his wit would have been like Rochester's. Whether Shadwell were himself
+a good poet or not, he made a hit at the poetasters of his day, in which
+he showed some genius.
+
+  _Poet._     O, very loftily!
+    The winged vallance of your eyes advance
+    Shake off your canopied and downie trance:
+    Phoebus already quaffs the morning dew,
+    Each does his daily lease of life renew.
+  Now you shall hear description, 'tis the very life of poetry.
+    He darts his beams on the lark's mossy house,
+    And from his quiet tenement doth rouse
+    The little charming and harmonious fowl
+    Which sings its lump of body to a soul.
+    Swiftly it clambers up in the steep air
+    With warbling notes, and makes each note a stair.
+
+
+[59] Sir Roger L'Estrange gives the names of the people attacked.
+
+[60] One of Cromwell's principal officers.
+
+[61] Thus familiarly called, no doubt owing to the custom of giving pet
+names to jesters.
+
+[62] Guardian, Vol. I. No. 2.
+
+[63] Fence.
+
+  London: Printed by A. Schulze, 13, Poland Street.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF ENGLISH HUMOUR, VOL. 1
+(OF 2)***
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