diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 3 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250-8.txt | 14157 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250-8.zip | bin | 0 -> 283539 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 329911 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250-h/18250-h.htm | 14431 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250-h/images/imgswift.jpg | bin | 0 -> 32811 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250.txt | 14157 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 18250.zip | bin | 0 -> 283469 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 |
10 files changed, 42761 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/18250-8.txt b/18250-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..65b3134 --- /dev/null +++ b/18250-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,14157 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., +Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Vol. VII + Historical and Political Tracts--Irish + +Author: Jonathan Swift + +Editor: Temple Scott + +Release Date: April 24, 2006 [EBook #18250] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + + + + ++-------------------------------------------------------------+ +|Transcriber's Note: This book is a compilation of previously | +|published works and therefore contains some inconsistencies. | ++-------------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + +BOHN'S STANDARD LIBRARY + + * * * * * + +THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN SWIFT + +VOL. VII + + + + +LONDON: GEORGE BELL AND SONS +PORTUGAL ST. LINCOLN'S INN, W. C. +CAMBRIDGE: DEIGHTON, BELL & CO. +NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO. +BOMBAY: A. H. WHEELER & CO. + + + + +_In 12 volumes, 5s. each._ + +~THE PROSE WORKS~ + +OF + +~JONATHAN SWIFT, D. D.~ + +EDITED BY + +~TEMPLE SCOTT~ + + + VOL. I. A TALE OF A TUB AND OTHER EARLY WORKS. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With a biographical introduction by + W. E. H. LECKY, M. P. With Portrait and Facsimiles. + + VOL. II. THE JOURNAL TO STELLA. Edited by FREDERICK + RYLAND, M. A. With two Portraits of Stella and a Facsimile of + one of the Letters. + + VOLS. III. & IV. WRITINGS ON RELIGION AND THE + CHURCH. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portraits and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. V. HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--ENGLISH. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portrait and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. VI. THE DRAPIER'S LETTERS. Edited by TEMPLE + SCOTT. With Portrait, Reproductions of Wood's Coinage, and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. VII. HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--IRISH. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portrait and Facsimiles of Title-pages. + + VOL. VIII. GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Edited by G. RAVENSCROFT + DENNIS. With Portrait, Maps and Facsimiles. + + VOL. IX. CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE "EXAMINER," + "TATLER," "SPECTATOR," &c. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. + + VOL. X. HISTORICAL WRITINGS. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. + + VOL. XI. LITERARY ESSAYS. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. [_In the press._ + + VOL. XII. FULL BIBLIOGRAPHY AND INDEX TO COMPLETE + WORKS. Together with an Essay on the Portraits of + Swift, by the HON. SIR FREDERICK FALKINER, K. C. With two + Portraits. [_In the press._ + + + + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS + + + "An adequate edition of Swift--the whole of Swift, and nothing but + Swift--has long been one of the pressing needs of students of + English literature. Mr. Temple Scott, who is preparing the new + edition of Swift's Prose Works, has begun well, his first volume is + marked by care and knowledge. He has scrupulously collated his + texts with the first or the best early editions, and has given + various readings in the footnotes.... Mr. Temple Scott may well be + congratulated on his skill and judgment as a commentator.... He has + undoubtedly earned the gratitude of all admirers of our greatest + satirist, and all students of vigorous, masculine, and exact + English."--_Athenĉum._ + + "The volume is an agreeable one to hold and to refer to, and the + notes and apparatus are, on the whole, exact. A cheap and handy + reprint, which we can conscientiously recommend."--_Saturday + Review._ + + "From the specimen now before us we may safely predict that Mr. + Temple Scott will easily distance both Roscoe and Scott. He + deserves the gratitude of all lovers of literature for enabling + Swift again to make his bow to the world in so satisfactory and + complete a garb."--_Manchester Guardian._ + + "Mr. Temple Scott's introductions and notes are excellent in all + respects, and this edition of Swift is likely to be one most + acceptable to scholars."--_Notes and Queries._ + + "The new Bohn's Library edition of the prose works of Jonathan + Swift is a venture which proves itself the more welcome as each + instalment is issued.... This edition is likely long to remain the + standard edition."--_Literary World._ + + "'Bohn's Libraries' need no push, and the magnificent edition of + 'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift,' edited by Mr. Temple Scott, is + in every respect worthy of that great collection of classics. It is + an ideal edition, edited by an ideal editor, beautifully printed, + handsomely bound, and ridiculously cheap. I have no hesitation in + saying that this edition supersedes all its forerunners."--_Star._ + + "We have nothing but praise for the editing, annotating, printing, + and general production. Indeed, now that the set has advanced so + far, we can safely pronounce the opinion that all other editions of + Swift must give place to it, and that no serious student of the + politics of the eighteenth century can afford to be without these + volumes.... A superb edition."--_Irish Times._ + + "Edited with exhaustive care, and produced in excellent style. This + is not only the best, it is the _only_ edition of Swift."--_Pall + Mall Gazette._ + + "There could hardly be a more acceptable addition to Bohn's + Standard Library than a new edition of Swift's Prose Works. The + text is well printed, and the volume is of convenient size. The + edition deserves to be popular, since Swift is a writer who will + always be read, while this edition will bring him within reach of a + number of new readers."--_Scotsman._ + + "The time is now ripe for a definite edition. This, of which the + first volume lies before us, promises to fulfil all the conditions + of a scholarly and satisfying work.... The edition is a genuine + gain to English literature."--_Birmingham Post._ + + "The publishers of Bohn's Libraries will earn the thanks of a wide + circle of readers by their undertaking to produce a popular and + collected edition of the prose works of Swift.... So far as one + may judge from a first instalment, the present edition seems to + fulfil the requirements of popularity and accuracy as well as could + be desired.... The edition promises to be one of the most valuable + and welcome items in those classic 'Libraries' which have done so + much to bring good literature, in worthy form, within the reach of + the British public."--_Glasgow Herald._ + + "We are indebted to the proprietors of the Bohn Libraries for + various literary enterprises, but it is questionable indeed if they + have issued lately a work more acceptable, or likely to become more + popular, than 'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift.' No better + edition of it could be desired. Mr. Temple Scott is editing the + volumes with the greatest care."--_Belfast News Letter._ + + "No more welcome reprint has appeared for some time past than the + new edition, complete and exact so far as it was possible to make + it, of Swift's 'Journal to Stella.'"--_Morning Post._ + + "By far the most satisfactory text yet printed of the wonderful + 'Journal to Stella.'"--_Newcastle Daily Chronicle._ + + "The 'Journal to Stella' has long stood in need of editing, far + more than any other of Swift's works. It abounds in references to + persons great and small, to political and social 'occurrents,' to + ephemeral publications; and to identify and explain all these + demands an editor steeped in the history, literature, broadsides + and press news of the time of the Harley administration. Mr. + Ryland's present edition will satisfy all but the few who dream of + an ideal."--_Athenĉum._ + + "The immortal 'Journal to Stella,' one of the works most + indispensable to a knowledge of the life and literature of the + early part of the eighteenth century. We know of no shape in which + the Journal is published so convenient for perusal as this. The + notes are short and serviceable, and there is a full + index."--_Notes and Queries._ + + "At last we have a well-printed, carefully edited text of Swift's + famous Journal in a single, handy, and cheap volume. The present + edition will, we hope, encourage many timid souls, who have been + awed by the formidable array of Scott, Sheridan, or Hawkesworth's + editions, to make the acquaintance of the most interesting, + charming, and tender journal that ever man kept for a woman's + eye."--_St. James's Gazette._ + + "Mr. Dennis is quite justified in his boast of now first giving us + a complete and trustworthy text [of 'Gulliver's + Travels']."--_Manchester Guardian._ + + "The number of useless reprints of Gulliver, based on Hawkesworth's + untrustworthy edition, and mostly expurgated besides, is so great + that we owe double thanks to Mr. Dennis, since he has not shirked + the trouble of collating the five earliest editions, and has given + us again at last--as far as is possible in the present case--the + complete and authentic text of the original."--PROF. MAX + FÖRSTER in _Anglia_. + + "An ideal text of 'Gulliver's Travels.'"--_Literary World._ + + "The best and most scholarly edition of 'Gulliver's + Travels.'"--_University Correspondent._ + + * * * * * + + + + +[Illustration: _Jonathan Swift_ + +_From an engraving by Andrew Miller after the painting by Francis Bindon +in the Deanery of St. Patrick's Dublin._] + + + + +THE PROSE WORKS + +OF + +JONATHAN SWIFT, D. D. + +EDITED BY + +TEMPLE SCOTT. + +VOL. VII + +HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--IRISH + + +LONDON +GEORGE BELL AND SONS +1905 +CHISWICK PRESS. CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO. TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, +LONDON. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Swift took up his permanent residence in the Irish capital in 1714. The +Harley Administration had fallen never to rise again. Harley himself was +a prisoner in the Tower, and Bolingbroke a voluntary exile in France, +and an open adherent of the Pretender. Swift came to Dublin to be met by +the jeers of the populace, the suspicion of the government officials, +and the polite indifference of his clerical colleagues. He had time +enough now in which to reflect and employ his brain powers. For several +years he kept himself altogether to his duties as Dean of the Cathedral +of St. Patrick's, only venturing his pen in letters to dear friends in +England--to Pope, Atterbury, Lady Howard. His private relations with +Miss Hester Vanhomrigh came to a climax, also, during this period, and +his peculiar intimacy with "Stella" Johnson took the definite shape in +which we now know it. + +He found himself in debt to his predecessor, Sterne, for a large and +comfortless house and for the cost of his own installation into his +office. The money he was to have received (£1,000) to defray these +expenses, from the last administration, was now, on its fall, kept back +from him. Swift had these encumbrances to pay off and he had his Chapter +to see to. He did both in characteristic fashion. By dint of almost +penurious saving he accomplished the former and the latter he managed +autocratically and with good sense. His connection with Oxford and +Bolingbroke had been of too intimate a nature for those in power to +ignore him. Indeed, his own letters to Knightley Chetwode[1] show us +that he was in great fear of arrest. But there is now no doubt that the +treasonable relations between Harley and St. John and the Pretender were +a great surprise to Swift when they were discovered. He himself had +always been an ardent supporter of the Protestant succession, and his +writings during his later period in Ireland constantly emphasize this +attitude of his--almost too much so. + +The condition of Ireland as Swift found it in 1714, and as he had known +of it even before that time, was of a kind to rouse a temper like his to +quick and indignant expression. Even as early as the spring of 1716 we +find him unable to restrain himself, and in his letter to Atterbury of +April 18th we catch the spirit which, four years later, showed itself in +"The Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures" and the +"Drapier's Letters," and culminated in 1729 in the terrible "Modest +Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen +to their Parents." To Atterbury he wrote: + +"I congratulate with England for joining with us here in the fellowship +of slavery. It is not so terrible a thing as you imagine: we have long +lived under it: and whenever you are disposed to know how to behave +yourself in your new condition, you need go no further than me for a +director. But, because we are resolved to go beyond you, we have +transmitted a bill to England, to be returned here, giving the +Government and six of the Council power for three years to imprison whom +they please for three months, without any trial or examination: and I +expect to be among the first of those upon whom this law will be +executed." + +Writing to Archdeacon Walls[2] (May 5th, 1715) of the people in power, +he said: + +"They shall be deceived as far as my power reaches, and shall not find +me altogether so great a cully as they would willingly make me." + +At that time England was beginning to initiate a new method for what it +called the proper government of Ireland. Hitherto it had tried the plan +of setting one party in the country against another; but now a new party +was called into being, known as the "English party." This party had +nothing to do with the Irish national spirit, and any man, no matter how +capable, who held by such a national spirit, was to be set aside. There +was to be no Irish party or parties as such--there was to be only the +English party governing Ireland in the interests of England. It was the +beginning of a government which led to the appointment of such a man as +Primate Boulter, who simply ruled Ireland behind the Lord Lieutenant +(who was but a figurehead) for and on behalf of the King of England's +advisers. Irish institutions, Irish ideas, Irish traditions, the Irish +Church, Irish schools, Irish language and literature, Irish trade, +manufactures, commerce, agriculture--all were to be subordinated to +England's needs and England's demands. At any cost almost, these were to +be made subservient to the interests of England. So well was this plan +carried out, that Ireland found itself being governed by a small English +clique and its Houses of Parliament a mere tool in the clique's hands. +The Parliament no longer represented the national will, since it did +really nothing but ratify what the English party asked for, or what the +King's ministers in England instructed should be made law. + +Irish manufactures were ruined by legislation; the commerce of Ireland +was destroyed by the same means; her schools became practically +penitentiaries to the Catholic children, who were compelled to receive a +Protestant instruction; her agriculture was degraded to the degree that +cattle could not be exported nor the wool sold or shipped from her own +ports to other countries; her towns swarmed with beggars and thieves, +forced there by the desolation which prevailed in the country districts, +where people starved by the wayside, and where those who lived barely +kept body and soul together to pay the rents of the absentee landlords. + +Swift has himself, in the pamphlets printed in the present volume, given +a fairly accurate and no exaggerated account of the miserable condition +of his country at this time; and his writings are amply corroborated by +other men who might be considered less passionate and more temperate. + +The people had become degraded through the evil influence of a +contemptuous and spendthrift landlord class, who considered the tenant +in no other light than as a rent-paying creature. As Roman Catholics +they found themselves the social inferiors of the ruling Protestant +class--the laws had placed them in that invidious position. They were +practically without any defence. They were ignorant, poor, and +half-starved. Thriftless, like their landlords, they ate up in the +autumn what harvests they gathered, and begged for their winter's +support. Adultery and incest were common and bred a body of lawless +creatures, who herded together like wild beasts and became dangerous +pests. + +Swift knew all this. He had time, between the years 1714 and 1720, to +find it out, even if he had not known of it before. But the condition +was getting worse, and his heart filled, as he told Pope in 1728, with a +"perfect rage and resentment" at "the mortifying sight of slavery, +folly, and baseness about me, among which I am forced to live." + +He commenced what might be called a campaign of attack in 1720, with the +publication of his tract entitled, "A Modest Proposal for the Universal +Use of Irish Manufactures." As has been pointed out in the notes +prefixed to the pamphlets in the present volume, England had, +apparently, gone to work systematically to ruin Irish manufactures. They +seemed to threaten ruin to English industries; at least so the people in +England thought. The pernicious legislation began in the reign of +Charles II. and continued in that of William III. The Irish manufacturer +was not permitted to export his products and found a precarious +livelihood in a contraband trade. Swift's "Proposal" is one of +retaliation. Since England will not allow Ireland to send out her goods, +let the people of Ireland use them, and let them join together and +determine to use nothing from England. Everything that came from England +should be burned, except the people and the coal. If England had the +right to prevent the exportation of the goods made in Ireland, she had +not the right to prevent the people of Ireland from choosing what they +should wear. The temper of the pamphlet was mild in the extreme; but the +governing officials saw in it dangerous symptoms. The pamphlet was +stigmatized as libellous and seditious, and the writer as attempting to +disunite the two nations. The printer was brought to trial, and the +pamphlet obtained a tremendous circulation. Although the jury acquitted +the printer, Chief Justice Whitshed, who had, as Swift puts it, "so +quick an understanding, that he resolved, if possible, to outdo his +orders," sent the jury back nine times to reconsider their verdict. He +even declared solemnly that the author's design was to bring in the +Pretender. This cry of bringing in the Pretender was raised on any and +every occasion, and has been well ridiculed by Swift in his "Examination +of Certain Abuses and Corruptions in the City of Dublin." The end of +Whitshed's persecution could have been foretold--it fizzled out in a +_nolle prosequi_. + +Following on this interesting commencement came the lengthened agitation +against Wood's Halfpence to which we owe the remarkable series of +writings known now as the "Drapier's Letters." These are fully discussed +in the volume preceding this. But Swift found other channels in which to +continue rousing the spirit of the people, and refreshing it to further +effort. The mania for speculation which Law's schemes had given birth +to, reached poor Ireland also. People thought there might be found a +scheme on similar lines by which Ireland might move to prosperity. A +Bank project was initiated for the purpose of assisting small tradesmen. +But a scheme that in itself would have been excellent in a prosperous +society, could only end in failure in such a community as peopled +Ireland. Swift felt this and opposed the plan in his satirical tract, +"The Swearer's Bank." The tract sufficed, for no more was heard of the +National Bank after the House of Commons rejected it. + +The thieves and "roughs" who infested Dublin came in next for Swift's +attention. In characteristic fashion he seized the occasion of the +arrest and execution of one of their leaders to publish a pretended +"Last Speech and Dying Confession," in which he threatened exposure and +arrest to the remainder of the gang if they did not make themselves +scarce. The threat had its effect, and the city found itself +considerably safer as a consequence. + +How Swift pounded out his "rage and resentment" against English +misgovernment, may be further read in the "Story of the Injured Lady," +and in the "Answer" to that story. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who +tells her lover, England, of her attractions, and upbraids him on his +conduct towards her. In the "Answer" Swift tells the Lady what she ought +to do, and hardly minces matters. Let her show the right spirit, he says +to her, and she will find there are many gentlemen who will support her +and champion her cause. + +Then came the plain, pathetic, and truthful recital of the "Short View +of the State of Ireland"--a pamphlet of but a few pages and yet terribly +effective. As an historical document it takes rank with the experiences +of the clergymen, Skelton and Jackson, as well as the more dispassionate +writings of contemporary historians. It is frequently cited by Lecky in +his "History of Ireland." + +What Swift had so far left undone, either from political reasons or from +motives of personal restraint, he completed in what may, without +exaggeration, be called his satirical masterpiece--the "Modest Proposal +for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen to their +Parents." Nothing comparable to this piece of writing is to be found in +any literature; while the mere fact that it came into being must stand +as one of the deadliest indictments against England's misrule. +Governments and rulers have been satirized time and again, but no +similar condition of things has existed with a Swift living at the time, +to observe and comment on them. The tract itself must be read with a +knowledge of the Irish conditions then prevailing; its temper is so calm +and restrained that a reader unacquainted with the conditions might be +misled and think that the author of "Gulliver's Travels" was indulging +himself in one of his grim jokes. That it was not a joke its readers at +the time well knew, and many of them also knew how great was the +indignation which raged in Swift's heart to stir him to so unprecedented +an expression of contempt. He had, as he himself said, raged and stormed +only to find himself stupefied. In the "Modest Proposal" he changed his +tune and + + ... with raillery to nettle, + Set your thoughts upon their mettle. + +Swift has been censured for the cold-blooded cynicism of this piece of +writing, but these censurers have entirely misunderstood both his motive +and his meaning. We wonder how any one could take seriously a proposal +for breeding children for food purposes, and our wonder grows in +reflecting on an inability to see through the thin veil of satire which +barely hid an impeachment of a ruling nation by the mere statement of +the proposal itself. That a Frenchman should so misunderstand it (as a +Frenchman did) may not surprise us, but that any Englishman should so +take it argues an utter absence of humour and a total ignorance of Irish +conditions at the time the tract was written. But history has justified +Swift, and it is to his writings, rather than to the many works written +by more commonplace observers, that we now turn for the true story of +Ireland's wrongs, and the real sources of her continued attitude of +hostility towards England's government of her. + +It has been well noted by one of Swift's biographers, that for a +thousand readers which the "Modest Proposal" has found, there is perhaps +only one who is acquainted with Swift's "Answer to the Craftsman." It +may be that the title is misleading or uninviting; but there is no +question that this tract may well stand by the side of the "Modest +Proposal," both for force of argument and pungency of satire. In its way +and within the limits of its more restricted argument it is one of the +ablest pieces of writing Swift has given us on behalf of Irish liberty. + +The title of Irish patriot which Swift obtained was not sought for by +him. It was given him mainly for the part he played, and for the success +he achieved in the Wood's patent agitation. He was acclaimed the +champion of the people, because he had stopped the foolish manoeuvres +of the Walpole Administration. So to label him, however, would be to do +him an injustice. In truth, he would have championed the cause of +liberty and justice in any country in which he lived, had he found +liberty and justice wanting there. The matter of the copper coinage +patent was but a peg for him to hang arguments which applied almost +everywhere. It was not to the particular arguments but to the spirit +which gave them life that we must look for the true value of Swift's +work. And that spirit--honest, brave, strong for the right--is even more +abundantly displayed in the writings we have just considered. They +witness to his championship of liberty and justice, to his impeachment +of selfish office-holders and a short-sighted policy. They gave him his +position as the chief among the citizens of Dublin to whom he spoke as +counsel and adviser. They proclaim him as the friend of the common +people, to whom he was more than the Dean of St. Patrick's. He may have +begun his work impelled by a hatred for Whiggish principles; but he +undoubtedly accomplished it in the spirit of a broad-minded and +far-seeing statesman. The pressing needs of Ireland were too urgent and +crying for him to permit his personal dislike of the Irish natives to +divert him from his humanitarian efforts. If he hated the beggar he was +ready with his charity. The times in which he lived were not times in +which, as he told the freemen of Dublin, "to expect such an exalted +degree of virtue from mortal men." He was speaking to them of the +impossibility of office-holders being independent of the government +under which they held their offices. "Blazing stars," he said, "are much +more frequently seen than such heroical virtues." As the Irish people +were governed by such men he advised them strongly to choose a +parliamentary representative from among themselves. He insisted on the +value of their collected voice, their unanimity of effort, a +consciousness of their understanding of what they wished to bring about. +"Be independent" is the text of all his writings to the people of +Ireland. It is idle to appeal to England's clemency or England's +justice. It is vain to evolve social schemes and Utopian dreams. The +remedy lay in their own hands, if the people only realized it. + +"Violent zeal for truth," Swift noted in one of his "Thoughts on +Religion," "has a hundred to one odds to be either petulancy, ambition, +or pride." Examining Swift's writings on behalf of Ireland by the +criterion provided in this statement, we must acquit him entirely of +misusing any of these qualities. If he were bitter or scornful, he was +certainly not petulant. No one has written with more justice or +coolness; the temper is hot but it is the heat of a conscious and +collected indignation. If he wrote or spoke in a manner somewhat +overbearing, it was not because of ambition, since he was now long past +his youth and his mind had become settled in a fairly complacent +acceptance of his position. If he had pride, and he undoubtedly had, it +was nowhere obtruded for personal aggrandizement, but rather by way of +emphasizing the dignity of citizenship, and the value of self-respect. +Assuredly, in these Irish tracts, Swift was no violent zealot for truth. +Indeed, it is a high compliment to pay him, to say that we wonder he +restrained himself as he did. + +Swift, however, had his weakness also, and it lay, as weaknesses +generally lie, very close to his strength. Swift's fault as a thinker +was the outcome of his intellectuality--he was too purely intellectual. +He set little store on the emotional side of human nature; his appeal +was always to the reason. He hated cant, and any expression of emotion +appealed to him as cant. He could not bear to be seen saying his +prayers; his acts of charity were surreptitious and given in secret with +an affectation of cynicism, so that they might veil the motive which +impelled them. It may have been pride or a dislike to be considered +sentimental; but his attitude owed its spring to a genuine faith in his +own thought. If Swift had one pride more than another, it lay in a +consciousness of his own superiority over his fellow-mortals. It was the +pride of intellect and a belief that man showed himself best by +following the judgements of the reason. His disgust with people was born +of their unreasonable selfishness, their instinctive greed and rapacity, +their blind stupidity, all which resulted for them in so much injustice. +Had they been reasonable, he would have argued, they would have been +better and happier. The sentiments and the passions were impulsive, and +therefore unreasonable. Swift seemed to have no faith in their elevation +to a higher intellectual plane, and yet he often roused them by his very +appeals to reason. His eminently successful "Drapier's Letters" are a +case in point. Yet we question if Swift were not himself surprised at +their effect. He knew his power later when he threatened the Archbishop +of Armagh, but he, no doubt, credited the result to his own arguments, +and not to the passions he had aroused. His sense of justice was the +strongest, and it was through that sense that the condition of the +people of Ireland appealed to him. He forgot, or he did not see that the +very passion in himself was of prime importance, since it was really to +it that his own efforts were due. The fine flower of imagination never +blossomed in Swift. He was neither prophet nor poet; but he was a great +leader, a splendid captain, a logical statesman. It is to this lack of +imagination that we must look for the real root of his cynical humour +and satirical temper. A more imaginative man than Swift with much less +power would have better appreciated the weaknesses of humanity and made +allowances for them. He would never have held them up to ridicule and +contempt, but would rather have laid stress on those instincts of honour +and nobility which the most ignorant and least reasoning possess in some +degree. + +Looking back on the work Swift did, and comparing its effect at the time +with the current esteem in which he is held in the present day, we shall +find that his reputation has altogether changed. In his own day, and +especially during his life in Ireland, his work was special, and brought +him a special repute. He was a party's advocate and the people's friend. +His literary output, distinguished though it was, was of secondary +importance compared with the purpose for which it was accomplished. He +was the friend of Harley, the champion of the Protestant Church, the +Irish patriot, the enemy of Whiggism, the opponent of Nonconformity. +To-day all these phrases mean little or nothing to those who know of +Swift as the author of "A Tale of a Tub," and "Gulliver's Travels." +Swift is now accepted as a great satirist, and admired for the wonderful +knowledge he shows of the failings and weaknesses of human nature. He is +admired but never loved. The particular occasions in his life-time +which urged him to rouse passions mean nothing to us; they have lost the +aroma of his just indignation and are become historical events. What is +left of him for us is the result of cold analysis and almost heartless +contempt. How different would it have been had Swift allied his great +gift as a writer to such a spirit as breathes in the Sermon on the +Mount! But to wish this is perhaps as foolish as to expect dates to grow +on thistles. We must accept what is given us, and see that we, at any +rate, steer clear of the dangers mapped out for us by the travellers of +the past. + + * * * * * + +The editor takes this opportunity to thank Mr. G. Ravenscroft Dennis and +Mr. W. Spencer Jackson for much valuable assistance in the reading of +proofs and the collation of texts. + +TEMPLE SCOTT. + +NEW YORK, + +_May 18, 1905._ + + + + +CONTENTS + PAGE + + + A LETTER TO A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, UPON + THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE 1 + + A PROPOSAL FOR THE UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE 11 + + AN ESSAY ON ENGLISH BUBBLES. BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. 31 + + THE SWEARER'S BANK 37 + + A LETTER TO THE KING AT ARMS 47 + + THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON 55 + + THE TRUTH OF SOME MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT, + EXAMINED WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND 63 + + THE BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, AND MISFORTUNES + OF QUILCA 73 + + A SHORT VIEW OF THE STATE OF IRELAND 79 + + THE STORY OF THE INJURED LADY. WRITTEN BY HERSELF 93 + + THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY 104 + + AN ANSWER TO A PAPER CALLED "A MEMORIAL OF THE POOR + INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM + OF IRELAND" 107 + + ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS 117 + + AN ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS SENT ME FROM UNKNOWN + HANDS 127 + + A LETTER TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN CONCERNING THE + WEAVERS 135 + + OBSERVATIONS OCCASIONED BY READING A PAPER ENTITLED + "THE CASE OF THE WOOLLEN MANUFACTURES OF DUBLIN," + ETC. 145 + + THE PRESENT MISERABLE STATE OF IRELAND 151 + + THE SUBSTANCE OF WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. + PATRICK'S TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN + WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID + DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX 167 + + ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT IN HIS DEFENCE AGAINST + JOSHUA, LORD ALLEN 173 + + A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, + AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED 177 + + A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND + SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN IRISH MANUFACTURES 191 + + A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF + POOR PEOPLE FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS + OR THE COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO + THE PUBLIC 201 + + ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN 217 + + A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET 225 + + A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT TO PAY OFF THE + DEBT OF THE NATION WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT 251 + + A CASE SUBMITTED BY DEAN SWIFT TO MR. LINDSAY, COUNSELLOR + AT LAW 259 + + AN EXAMINATION OF CERTAIN ABUSES, CORRUPTIONS, AND + ENORMITIES IN THE CITY OF DUBLIN 261 + + A SERIOUS AND USEFUL SCHEME TO MAKE AN HOSPITAL FOR + INCURABLES 283 + + THE HUMBLE PETITION OF THE FOOTMEN IN AND ABOUT THE + CITY OF DUBLIN 305 + + ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN IN THE + CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT 309 + + SOME CONSIDERATIONS HUMBLY OFFERED TO THE LORD + MAYOR, THE COURT OF ALDERMEN AND COMMON-COUNCIL + OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN IN THE CHOICE OF A RECORDER 317 + + A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING BADGES TO THE BEGGARS IN ALL THE + PARISHES OF DUBLIN 321 + + CONSIDERATIONS ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR 337 + + ON BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS IN IRELAND 343 + + SPEECH DELIVERED ON THE LOWERING OF THE COIN 351 + + IRISH ELOQUENCE 361 + + A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE 362 + + TO THE PROVOST AND SENIOR FELLOWS OF TRINITY COLLEGE, + DUBLIN 364 + + TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL THE MAYOR, ALDERMEN, + SHERIFFS, AND COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF + CORK 366 + + TO THE HONOURABLE THE SOCIETY OF THE GOVERNOR AND + ASSISTANTS IN LONDON, FOR THE NEW PLANTATION IN + ULSTER 368 + + CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT 369 + + AN EXHORTATION ADDRESSED TO THE SUB-DEAN AND CHAPTER + OF ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL, DUBLIN 370 + + APPENDIX: + + A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF THE OCCASIONAL PAPER 375 + + AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN 382 + + THE ANSWER OF THE RIGHT HON. WILLIAM PULTENEY, + ESQ., TO THE RIGHT HON. SIR ROBERT WALPOLE 392 + + INDEX 401 + + + + +A LETTER + +TO + +A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, + +UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1708. + + + + + NOTE. + + + In the note prefixed to the reprint of Swift's "Letter concerning + the Sacramental Test," the circumstances under which this "Letter + to a Member of Parliament in Ireland" was written, are explained + (see vol. iv., pp. 3-4, of present edition). The Godolphin ministry + was anxious to repeal the Test Act in Ireland, as a concession to + the Presbyterians who had made themselves prominent by their + expressions of loyalty to William and the Protestant succession. In + this particular year also (1708), rumours of an invasion gave them + another opportunity to send in loyal addresses. In reality, + however, the endeavour to try the repeal in Ireland, was in the + nature of a test, and Swift ridiculed the attempt as being like to + "that of a discreet physician, who first gives a new medicine to a + dog, before he prescribes it to a human creature." It seems that + Swift had been consulted by Somers on the question of the repeal, + and had given his opinion very frankly. The letter to Archbishop + King, revealing this, contains some bitter remarks about "a certain + lawyer of Ireland." The lawyer was Speaker Brodrick, afterwards + Lord Midleton, who was enthusiastic for the repeal. The present + letter gives a very clear idea of what Swift thought should be a + Speaker's duties both as the chairman of the House and as related + to this particular measure of the Test. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present reprint is based on the original manuscript + in Swift's handwriting; but as this was found to be somewhat + illegible, it has been collated with the text given in vol. viii. + of the quarto edition of Swift's collected works, published in + 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER TO A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW +SPEAKER THERE. + + +SIR, + +You may easily believe I am not at all surprised at what you tell me, +since it is but a confirmation of my own conjecture that I sent you last +week, and made you my reproaches upon it at a venture. It looks +exceeding strange, yet, I believe it to be a great truth, that, in order +to carry a point in your house, the two following circumstances are of +great advantage; first, to have an ill cause; and, secondly, to be a +minority. For both these circumstances are extremely apt to unite men, +to make them assiduous in their attendance, watchful of opportunities, +zealous for gaining over proselytes, and often successful; which is not +to be wondered at, when favour and interest are on the side of their +opinion. Whereas, on the contrary, a majority with a good cause are +negligent and supine. They think it sufficient to declare themselves +upon occasion in favour of their party, but, sailing against the tide of +favour and preferment, they are easily scattered and driven back. In +short, they want a common principle to cement, and motive to spirit +them; For the bare acting upon a principle from the dictates of a good +conscience, or prospect of serving the public, will not go very far +under the present dispositions of mankind. This was amply verified last +sessions of Parliament, upon occasion of the money bill, the merits of +which I shall not pretend to examine. 'Tis enough that, upon the first +news of its transmission hither, in the form it afterwards appeared, the +members, upon discourse with their friends, seemed unanimous against it, +I mean those of both parties, except a few, who were looked upon as +persons ready to go any lengths prescribed them by the court. Yet with +only a week's canvassing among a very few hands, the bill passed after a +full debate, by a very great majority; yet, I believe, you will hardly +attempt persuading me, or anybody else, that one man in ten, of those +who changed their language, were moved by reasons any way affecting the +merits of the cause, but merely through hope, fear, indolence, or good +manners. Nay, I have been assured from good hands, that there was still +a number sufficient to make a majority against the bill, if they had not +apprehended the other side to be secure, and therefore thought it +imprudence, by declaring themselves, to disoblige the government to no +purpose. + +Reflecting upon this and forty other passages, in the several Houses of +Commons since the Revolution, makes me apt to think there is nothing a +chief governor can be commanded to attempt here wherein he may not +succeed, with a very competent share of address, and with such +assistance as he will always find ready at his devotion. And therefore I +repeat what I said at first, that I am not at all surprised at what you +tell me. For, if there had been the least spark of public spirit left, +those who wished well to their country and its constitution in church +and state, should, upon the first news of the late Speaker's promotion, +(and you and I know it might have been done a great deal sooner) have +immediately gone together, and consulted about the fittest person to +succeed him. But, by all I can comprehend, you have been so far from +proceeding thus, that it hardly ever came into any of your heads. And +the reason you give is the worst in the world: That none offered +themselves, and you knew not whom to pitch upon. It seems, however, the +other party was more resolved, or at least not so modest: For you say +your vote is engaged against your opinion, and several gentlemen in my +neighbourhood tell me the same story of themselves; this, I confess, is +of an unusual strain, and a good many steps below any condescensions a +court will, I hope, ever require from you. I shall not trouble myself to +inquire who is the person for whom you and others are engaged, or +whether there be more candidates from that side, than one. You tell me +nothing of either, and I never thought it worth the question to anybody +else. But, in so weighty an affair, and against your judgment, I cannot +look upon you as irrevocably determined. Therefore I desire you will +give me leave to reason with you a little upon the subject, lest your +compliance, or inadvertency, should put you upon what you may have cause +to repent as long as you live. + +You know very well, the great business of the high-flying Whigs, at this +juncture, is to endeavour a repeal of the test clause. You know likewise +that the moderate men, both of High and Low Church, profess to be wholly +averse from this design, as thinking it beneath the policy of common +gardeners to cut down the only hedge that shelters from the north.[3] +Now, I will put the case; If the person to whom you have promised your +vote be one of whom you have the least apprehension that he will promote +or assent to the repealing of that clause, whether it be decent or +proper, he should be the mouth of an assembly, whereof a very great +majority pretend to abhor his opinion. Can a body, whose mouth and heart +must go so contrary ways, ever act with sincerity, or hardly with +consistence? Such a man is no proper vehicle to retain or convey the +sense of the House, which, in so many points of the greatest moment, +will be directly contrary to his; 'tis full as absurd, as to prefer a +man to a bishopric who denies revealed religion. But it may possibly be +a great deal worse. What if the person you design to vote into that +important post, should not only be a declared enemy of the sacramental +test, but should prove to be a solicitor, an encourager, or even a +penner of addresses to complain of it? Do you think it so indifferent a +thing, that a promise of course, the effect of compliance, importunity, +shame of refusing, or any the like motive, shall oblige you past the +power of retracting? + +Perhaps you will tell me, as some have already had the weakness to do, +that it is of little importance to either party to have a Speaker of +their side, his business being only to take the sense of the House and +report it, that you often, at committees, put an able speaker into the +chair on purpose to prevent him from stopping a bill. Why, if it were no +more than this, I believe I should hardly choose, even among my footmen, +such a one to deliver a message, whose interest and opinions led him to +wish it might miscarry. But I remember to have heard old Colonel +Birch[4] of Herefordshire say, that "he was a very sorry Speaker, whose +single vote was not better than fifty common ones." I am sure it is +reckoned in England the first great test of the prevalency of either +party in the House. Sir Thomas Littleton[5] thought, that a House of +Commons with a stinking breath (supposing the Speaker to be the mouth) +would go near to infect everything within the walls, and a great deal +without. It is the smallest part of an able Speaker's business, what he +performs in the House, at least if he be in with the court, when it is +hard to say how many converts may be made in a circle of dinners, or +private cabals. And you and I can easily call to mind a gentleman in +that station, in England, who, by his own arts and personal credit, was +able to draw over a majority, and change the whole power of a prevailing +side in a nice juncture of affairs, and made a Parliament expire in one +party who had lived in another. + +I am far from an inclination to multiply party causes, but surely the +best of us can with very ill grace make that an objection, who have not +been so nice in matters of much less importance. Yet I have heard some +persons of both sides gravely deliver themselves in this manner; "Why +should we make the choosing a Speaker a party cause? Let us fix upon one +who is well versed in the practices and methods of parliament." And I +believe there are too many who would talk at the same rate, if the +question were not only about abolishing the sacramental test, but the +sacrament itself. + +But suppose the principles of the most artful Speaker could have no +influence either to obtain or obstruct any point in Parliament, who can +answer what effects such a choice may produce without doors? 'Tis +obvious how small a matter serves to raise the spirits and hopes of the +Dissenters and their high-flying advocates, what lengths they run, what +conclusions they form, and what hopes they entertain. Do they hear of a +new friend in office? That is encouragement enough to practise the +city, against the opinion of a majority into an address to the Queen for +repealing the sacramental test; or issue out their orders to the next +fanatic parson to furbish up his old sermons, and preach and print new +ones directly against Episcopacy. I would lay a good wager, that, if the +choice of a new Speaker succeeds exactly to their liking, we shall see +it soon followed by many new attempts, either in the form of pamphlet, +sermon, or address, to the same, or perhaps more dangerous purposes. + +Supposing the Speaker's office to be only an employment of profit and +honour, and a step to a better; since it is in your own gift, will you +not choose to bestow it upon some person whose principles the majority +of you pretends to approve, if it were only to be sure of a worthy man +hereafter in a high station, on the bench or at the bar? + +I confess, if it were a thing possible to be compassed, it would seem +most reasonable to fill the chair with some person who would be entirely +devoted to neither party: But, since there are so few of that character, +and those either unqualified or unfriended, I cannot see how a majority +will answer it to their reputation, to be so ill provided of able +persons, that they must have recourse for a leader to their adversaries, +a proceeding of which I never met with above one example, and even that +succeeded but ill, though it was recommended by an oracle, which advised +some city in Greece to beg a general from their enemies, who, in scorn, +sent them either a fiddler or a poet, I have forgot which; but so much I +remember, that his conduct was such, as they soon grew weary of him. + +You pretend to be heartily resolved against repealing the sacramental +test, yet, at the same time, give the only great employment you have to +dispose of to a person who will take that test against his stomach (by +which word I understand many a man's conscience) who earnestly wisheth +it repealed, and will endeavour it to the utmost of his power; so that +the first action after you meet, will be a sort of contravention to that +test: And will anybody go further than your practice to judge of your +principles? + +And now I am upon this subject, I cannot conclude without saying +something to a very popular argument against that sacramental test, +which may be apt to shake many of those who would otherwise wish well +enough to it. They say it was a new hardship put upon the Dissenters, +without any provocation; and, it is plain, could be no way necessary, +because we had peaceably lived together so long without it. They add +some other circumstances of the arts by which it was obtained, and the +person by whom it was inserted. Surely such people do not consider that +the penal laws against Dissenters were made wholly ineffectual by the +connivance and mercy of the government, so that all employments of the +state lay as open to them as they did to the best and most legal +subjects. And what progress they would have made by the advantages of a +late conjecture, is obvious to imagine; which I take to be a full answer +to that objection. + +I remember, upon the transmission of that bill with the test clause +inserted, the Dissenters and their partisans, among other topics, spoke +much of the good effects produced by the lenity of the government, that +the Presbyterians were grown very inconsiderable in their number and +quality, and would daily come into the church, if we did not fright them +from it by new severities. When the act was passed, they presently +changed their style, and raised a clamour, through both kingdoms, of the +great numbers of considerable gentry who were laid aside, and could no +longer serve their queen and country; which hyperbolical way of +reckoning, when it came to be melted down into truth, amounted to about +fifteen country justices, most of them of the lowest size, for estate, +quality, or understanding. However, this puts me in mind of a passage +told me by a great man, though I know not whether it be anywhere +recorded. That a complaint was made to the king and council in Sweden, +of a prodigious swarm of Scots, who, under the condition of pedlars, +infested that kingdom to such a degree, as, if not suddenly prevented, +might in time prove dangerous to the state, by joining with any +discontented party. Meanwhile the Scots, by their agents, placed a good +sum of money to engage the offices of the prime minister in their +behalf; who, in order to their defence, told the council, he was assured +they were but a few inconsiderable people, that lived honestly and +poorly, and were not of any consequence. Their enemies offered to prove +the contrary, whereupon an order was made to take their number, which +was found to amount, as I remember, to about thirty thousand. The affair +was again brought before the council, and great reproaches made the +first minister, for his ill computation; who, presently took the other +handle, said, he had reason to believe the number yet greater than what +was returned; and then gravely offered to the king's consideration, +whether it were safe to render desperate so great a body of able men, +who had little to lose, and whom any hard treatment would only serve to +unite into a power capable of disturbing, if not destroying the peace of +the kingdom. And so they were suffered to continue. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR THE + +UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This pamphlet constitutes the opening of a campaign against his + political enemies in England on whom Swift had, it must be + presumed, determined to take revenge. When the fall of Harley's + administration was complete and irrevocable, Swift returned to + Ireland and, for six years, he lived the simple life of the Dean of + St. Patrick's, unheard of except by a few of his more intimate + friends in England. Accustomed by years of intimacy with the + ministers of Anne's court, and by his own temperament, to act the + part of leader and adviser, Swift's compulsory silence must have + chafed and irritated him to a degree. His opportunities for + advancement had passed with the passing of Harley and Bolingbroke + from power, and he had given too ardent and enthusiastic a support + to these friends of his for Walpole to look to him for a like + service. Moreover, however strong may have been these personal + motives, Swift's detestation of Walpole's Irish policy must have + been deep and bitter, even before he began to express himself on + the matter. His sincerity cannot be doubted, even if we make an + ample allowance for a private grudge against the great English + minister. The condition of Ireland, at this time, was such as to + arouse the warmest indignation from the most indifferent and + unprejudiced--and it was a condition for which English misrule was + mainly responsible. It cannot therefore be wondered at that Swift + should be among the strenuous and persistent opponents of a policy + which spelled ruin to his country, and his patriotism must be + recognized even if we accept the existence of a personal motive. + + The crass stupidity which characterized England's dealings with + Ireland at this time would be hardly credible, were it not on + record in the acts passed in the reigns of Charles II. and William + III., and embodied in the resolutions of the English parliament + during Walpole's term of power. An impartial historian is forced to + the conclusion that England had determined to ruin the sister + nation. Already its social life was disreputable; the people taxed + in various ways far beyond their means; the agriculture at the + lowest state by the neglect and indifference of the landed + proprietors; and the manufactures crippled by a series of + pernicious restrictions imposed by a selfish rival. + + Swift, in writing this "Proposal," did not take advantage of any + special occasion, as he did later in the matter of Wood's + halfpence. His occasion must be found in the condition of the + country, in the injustice to which she was subjected, and in the + fact that the time had come when it would be wise and safe for him + to come out once more into the open. + + He began in his characteristic way. All the evils that the laws + against the manufactures and agriculture of Ireland brought into + existence are summarized in this "Proposal." His business is not to + attack the laws directly, but to attempt a method by which these + shall be nullified. Since the manufactures of Ireland might not be + exported for sale, let the people of Ireland wear them themselves, + and let them resolve and determine to wear them in preference to + those imported from England. If England had the right to prevent + the importation to it of Irish woollen goods, it was surely only + just that the Irish should exercise then right to wear their own + home-made clothes! The tract was a reasonable and mild statement. + Yet, such was the temper of the governing officials, that a cry was + raised against it and the writer accused of attempting to disunite + the two kingdoms. With consistent foolishness, the printer was + brought to trial, and although the jury acquitted him, yet the Lord + Chief Justice Whitshed, zealous for his employer more than for his + office, refused to accept the verdict and attempted to force the + jury to a conviction. In his letter to Pope, dated January 10th, + 1720-21, Swift gives an account of this matter: + + "I have written in this kingdom, a discourse, to persuade the + wretched people to wear their own manufactures, instead of those + from England. This treatise soon spread very fast, being agreeable + to the sentiments of the whole nation, except those gentlemen who + had employments, or were expectants. Upon which a person in great + office here immediately took the alarm; he sent in haste for the + chief-justice, and informed him of a seditious, factious, and + virulent pamphlet, lately published, with a design of setting the + two kingdoms at variance; directing, at the same time, that the + printer should be prosecuted with the utmost rigour of the law. The + chief-justice has so quick an understanding, that he resolved, if + possible, to outdo his orders. The grand juries of the county and + city were effectually practised with, to represent the said + pamphlet with all aggravating epithets, for which they had thanks + sent them from England, and their presentments published, for + several weeks, in all the newspapers. The printer was seized, and + forced to give great bail. After his trial, the jury brought him in + not guilty, although they had been culled with the utmost industry. + The chief-justice sent them back nine times, and kept them eleven + hours, until, being perfectly tired out, they were forced to leave + the matter to the mercy of the judge, by what they call a _special + verdict_. During the trial, the chief-justice, among other + singularities, laid his hand on his breast, and protested solemnly + that the author's design was to bring in the Pretender, although + there was not a single syllable of party in the whole treatise; and + although it was known that the most eminent of those who professed + his own principles, publicly disallowed his proceedings. But the + cause being so very odious and unpopular, the trial of the verdict + was deferred from one term to another, until, upon the Duke of + Grafton's, the lord lieutenant's arrival, his grace, after mature + advice, and permission from England, was pleased to grant a _noli + prosequi_." + + This Chief Justice Whitshed was the same who acted as judge on + Harding's trial for printing the fourth Drapier letter. Swift never + forgot him, and took several occasions to satirize him bitterly. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on the Dublin edition of + 1720 and collated with the texts of Faulkner, 1735, and + Miscellanies of same date. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +PROPOSAL + +For the universal Use + +Of _Irish_ Manufacture, + +IN + +Cloaths and Furniture of Houses, &c. + +UTTERLY + +_Rejecting_ and _Renouncing_ + +Every Thing wearable that comes from + +ENGLAND. + + * * * * * + +_Dublin_: Printed and Sold by _E. Waters_, in _Essex-street_, at the +Corner of _Sycamore-Alley_, 1720. + + + + +A PROPOSAL FOR THE UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE, IN CLOTHES +AND FURNITURE OF HOUSES, &c. + +UTTERLY REJECTING AND RENOUNCING EVERY THING WEARABLE THAT COMES FROM +ENGLAND. + + +It is the peculiar felicity and prudence of the people in this kingdom, +that whatever commodities or productions lie under the greatest +discouragements from England, those are what we are sure to be most +industrious in cultivating and spreading. Agriculture, which hath been +the principal care of all wise nations, and for the encouragement +whereof there are so many statute laws in England, we countenance so +well, that the landlords are everywhere by penal clauses absolutely +prohibiting their tenants from ploughing; not satisfied to confine them +within certain limitations, as it is the practice of the English; one +effect of which is already seen in the prodigious dearness of corn, and +the importation of it from London, as the cheaper market:[6] And because +people are the riches of a country, and that our neighbours have done, +and are doing all that in them lie, to make our wool a drug to us, and a +monopoly to them; therefore the politic gentlemen of Ireland have +depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding of sheep.[7] + +I could fill a volume as large as the history of the Wise Men of Gotham +with a catalogue only of some wonderful laws and customs we have +observed within thirty years past.[8] 'Tis true indeed, our beneficial +traffic of wool with France, hath been our only support for several +years past, furnishing us all the little money we have to pay our rents +and go to market. But our merchants assure me, "This trade hath received +a great damp by the present fluctuating condition of the coin in France; +and that most of their wine is paid for in specie, without carrying +thither any commodity from hence." + +However, since we are so universally bent upon enlarging our flocks, it +may be worth enquiring what we shall do with our wool, in case +Barnstaple[9] should be overstocked, and our French commerce should +fail? + +I could wish the Parliament had thought fit to have suspended their +regulation of church matters, and enlargements of the prerogative till a +more convenient time, because they did not appear very pressing (at +least to the persons principally concerned) and instead of these great +refinements in politics and divinity, had amused themselves and their +committees a little with the state of the nation. For example: What if +the House of Commons had thought fit to make a resolution _nemine +contradicente_ against wearing any cloth or stuff in their families, +which were not of the growth and manufacture of this kingdom? What if +they had extended it so far as utterly to exclude all silks, velvets, +calicoes, and the whole lexicon of female fopperies; and declared, that +whoever acted otherwise, should be deemed and reputed an enemy to the +nation?[10] What if they had sent up such a resolution to be agreed to +by the House of Lords, and by their own practice and encouragement +spread the execution of it in their several countries? What if we should +agree to make burying in woollen a fashion, as our neighbours have made +it a law? What if the ladies would be content with Irish stuffs for the +furniture of their houses, for gowns and petticoats to themselves and +their daughters? Upon the whole, and to crown all the rest: Let a firm +resolution be taken by male and female, never to appear with one single +shred that comes from England; "And let all the people say, +AMEN." + +I hope and believe nothing could please His Majesty better than to hear +that his loyal subjects of both sexes in this kingdom celebrated his +birthday (now approaching) universally clad in their own manufacture. Is +there virtue enough left in this deluded people to save them from the +brink of ruin? If the men's opinions may be taken, the ladies will look +as handsome in stuffs as brocades; and since all will be equal, there +may be room enough to employ their wit and fancy in choosing and +matching of patterns and colours. I heard the late Archbishop of Tuam +mention a pleasant observation of somebody's; "that Ireland would never +be happy till a law were made for burning everything that came from +England, except their people and their coals." Nor am I even yet for +lessening the number of those exceptions.[11] + + Non tanti mitra est, non tanti judicis ostrum. + +But I should rejoice to see a staylace from England be thought +scandalous, and become a topic for censure at visits and tea-tables. + +If the unthinking shopkeepers in this town had not been utterly +destitute of common sense, they would have made some proposal to the +Parliament, with a petition to the purpose I have mentioned; promising +to improve the "cloths and stuffs of the nation into all possible +degrees of fineness and colours, and engaging not to play the knave +according to their custom, by exacting and imposing upon the nobility +and gentry either as to the prices or the goodness." For I remember in +London upon a general mourning, the rascally mercers and +woollen-drapers, would in four-and-twenty hours raise their cloths and +silks to above a double price; and if the mourning continued long, then +come whining with petitions to the court, that they were ready to +starve, and their fineries lay upon their hands. + +I could wish our shopkeepers would immediately think on this proposal, +addressing it to all persons of quality and others; but first be sure to +get somebody who can write sense, to put it into form. + +I think it needless to exhort the clergy to follow this good example, +because in a little time, those among them who are so unfortunate to +have had their birth and education in this country, will think +themselves abundantly happy when they can afford Irish crape, and an +Athlone hat; and as to the others I shall not presume to direct them. I +have indeed seen the present Archbishop of Dublin clad from head to foot +in our own manufacture; and yet, under the rose be it spoken, his Grace +deserves as good a gown as any prelate in Christendom.[12] + +I have not courage enough to offer one syllable on this subject to their +honours of the army: Neither have I sufficiently considered the great +importance of scarlet and gold lace. + +The fable in Ovid of Arachne and Pallas, is to this purpose. The goddess +had heard of one Arachne a young virgin, very famous for spinning and +weaving. They both met upon a trial of skill; and Pallas finding herself +almost equalled in her own art, stung with rage and envy, knocked her +rival down, turned her into a spider, enjoining her to spin and weave +for ever, out of her own bowels, and in a very narrow compass. I +confess, that from a boy, I always pitied poor Arachne, and could never +heartily love the goddess on account of so cruel and unjust a sentence; +which however is fully executed upon us by England, with further +additions of rigour and severity. For the greatest part of our bowels +and vitals are extracted, without allowing us the liberty of spinning +and weaving them. + +The Scripture tells us, that "oppression makes a wise man mad." +Therefore, consequently speaking, the reason why some men are not mad, +is because they are not wise: However, it were to be wished that +oppression would in time teach a little wisdom to fools. + +I was much delighted with a person who hath a great estate in this +kingdom, upon his complaints to me, "how grievously poor England suffers +by impositions from Ireland. That we convey our own wool to France in +spite of all the harpies at the custom-house. That Mr. Shuttleworth, and +others on the Cheshire coasts are such fools to sell us their bark at a +good price for tanning our own hides into leather; with other enormities +of the like weight and kind." To which I will venture to add some more: +"That the mayoralty of this city is always executed by an inhabitant, +and often by a native, which might as well be done by a deputy, with a +moderate salary, whereby poor England lose at least one thousand pounds +a year upon the balance. That the governing of this kingdom costs the +lord lieutenant two thousand four hundred pounds a year,[13] so much +_net_ loss to poor England. That the people of Ireland presume to dig +for coals in their own grounds, and the farmers in the county of Wicklow +send their turf to the very market of Dublin, to the great +discouragement of the coal trade at Mostyn and Whitehaven. That the +revenues of the post-office here, so righteously belonging to the +English treasury, as arising chiefly from our own commerce with each +other, should be remitted to London, clogged with that grievous burthen +of exchange, and the pensions paid out of the Irish revenues to English +favourites, should lie under the same disadvantage, to the great loss of +the grantees. When a divine is sent over to a bishopric here, with the +hopes of five-and-twenty hundred pounds a year; upon his arrival, he +finds, alas! a dreadful discount of ten or twelve _per cent._ A judge or +a commissioner of the revenue has the same cause of complaint."--Lastly, + +"The ballad upon Cotter is vehemently suspected to be Irish manufacture; +and yet is allowed to be sung in our open streets, under the very nose +of the government."[14] These are a few among the many hardships we put +upon that _poor_ kingdom of England; for which I am confident every +honest man wishes a remedy: And I hear there is a project on foot for +transporting our best wheaten straw by sea and land carriage to +Dunstable; and obliging us by a law to take off yearly so many ton of +straw hats for the use of our women, which will be a great encouragement +to the manufacture of that industrious town. + +I should be glad to learn among the divines, whether a law to bind men +without their own consent, be obligatory _in foro conscientiae_; because +I find Scripture, Sanderson and Suarez are wholly silent in the matter. +The oracle of reason, the great law of nature, and general opinion of +civilians, wherever they treat of limited governments, are indeed +decisive enough. + +It is wonderful to observe the bias among our people in favour of +things, persons, and wares of all kinds that come from England. The +printer tells his hawkers that he has got "an excellent new song just +brought from London." I have somewhat of a tendency that way myself; and +upon hearing a coxcomb from thence displaying himself with great +volubility upon the park, the playhouse, the opera, the gaming +ordinaries, it was apt to beget in me a kind of veneration for his parts +and accomplishments. 'Tis not many years, since I remember a person who +by his style and literature seems to have been corrector of a +hedge-press in some blind alley about Little Britain, proceed gradually +to be an author, at least a translator of a lower rate, though somewhat +of a larger bulk, than any that now flourishes in Grub Street; and upon +the strength of this foundation, come over here, erect himself up into +an orator and politician, and lead a kingdom after him.[15] This, I am +told, was the very motive that prevailed on the author of a play, called +"Love in a hollow Tree," to do us the honour of a visit; presuming with +very good reason, that he was a writer of a superior class.[16] I know +another, who for thirty years past, hath been the common standard of +stupidity in England, where he was never heard a minute in any assembly, +or by any party with common Christian treatment; yet upon his arrival +hither, could put on a face of importance and authority, talked more +than six, without either gracefulness, propriety, or meaning; and at the +same time be admired and followed as the pattern of eloquence and +wisdom. + +Nothing hath humbled me so much, or shewn a greater disposition to a +contemptuous treatment of Ireland in some chief governors,[17] than that +high style of several speeches from the throne, delivered, as usual, +after the royal assent, in some periods of the two last reigns. Such +high exaggerations of the prodigious condescensions in the prince, to +pass those good laws, would have but an odd sound at Westminster: +Neither do I apprehend how any good law can pass, wherein the king's +interest is not as much concerned as that of the people. I remember +after a speech on the like occasion, delivered by my Lord Wharton, (I +think it was his last) he desired Mr. Addison to ask my opinion of it: +My answer was, "That his Excellency had very honestly forfeited his head +on account of one paragraph; wherein he asserted by plain consequence, a +dispensing power in the Queen." His Lordship owned it was true, but +swore the words were put into his mouth by direct orders from Court. +From whence it is clear, that some ministers in those times, were apt, +from their high elevation, to look down upon this kingdom as if it had +been one of their colonies of outcasts in America. And I observed a +little of the same turn of spirit in some great men, from whom I +expected better; although to do them justice, it proved no point of +difficulty to make them correct their idea, whereof the whole nation +quickly found the benefit?--But that is forgotten. How the style hath +since run, I am wholly a stranger, having never seen a speech since the +last of the Queen. + +I would now expostulate a little with our country landlords, who by +unmeasurable screwing and racking their tenants all over the kingdom, +have already reduced the miserable people to a worse condition than the +peasants in France, or the vassals in Germany and Poland; so that the +whole species of what we call substantial farmers, will in a very few +years be utterly at an end.[18] It was pleasant to observe these +gentlemen labouring with all their might for preventing the bishops from +letting their revenues at a moderate half value, (whereby the whole +order would in an age have been reduced to manifest beggary) at the very +instant when they were everywhere canting their own lands upon short +leases, and sacrificing their oldest tenants for a penny an acre +advance.[19] I know not how it comes to pass, (and yet perhaps I know +well enough) that slaves have a natural disposition to be tyrants; and +that when my betters give me a kick, I am apt to revenge it with six +upon my footman; although perhaps he may be an honest and diligent +fellow. I have heard great divines affirm, that "nothing is so likely to +call down an universal judgment from Heaven upon a nation as universal +oppression;" and whether this be not already verified in part, their +worships the landlords are now at full leisure to consider. Whoever +travels this country, and observes the face of nature, or the faces, and +habits, and dwellings of the natives, will hardly think himself in a +land where either law, religion, or common humanity is professed.[20] + +I cannot forbear saying one word upon a thing they call a bank, which I +hear is projecting in this town.[21] I never saw the proposals, nor +understand any one particular of their scheme: What I wish for at +present, is only a sufficient provision of hemp, and caps, and bells, +to distribute according to the several degrees of honesty and prudence +in some persons. I hear only of a monstrous sum already named; and if +others, do not soon hear of it too, and hear of it with a vengeance, +then am I a gentleman of less sagacity, than myself and very few +besides, take me to be. And the jest will be still the better, if it be +true, as judicious persons have assured me, that one half of this money +will be real, and the other half only Gasconnade.[22] The matter will be +likewise much mended, if the merchants continue to carry off our gold, +and our goldsmiths to melt down our heavy silver. + + + + +AN ESSAY + +ON + +ENGLISH BUBBLES. + +BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The excitement and even fury which were prevalent in England and + France during the years 1719 and 1720 over Law's South Sea schemes + afforded Swift an opportunity for the play of his satire by way of + criticism on projects which appeared to him to be of the same + character. News from France on the Mississippi Scheme which, in + 1719, was at the height of its stock-jobbing success, gave glorious + accounts of fortunes made in a night, and of thousands who had + become rich and were living in unheard of luxury. Schemes were + floated on every possible kind of ventures, and so plentiful was + the "paper money" that nothing was too absurd for speculators. All + these schemes, which soon came to nought, went, later, by the name + of "Bubbles," and this essay of Swift's touches the matter with his + usual satire. + + The time chosen for the proposal for the establishment of a + National Bank in Ireland was not a happy one. It was made in 1720 + when the "Bubbles" had burst and found thousands ruined and + pauperized. Swift, always an enemy to schemes of any kind, classed + that of the bank with the rest of the "Bubbles," and, although the + plan itself was a real effort to relieve Ireland, and might have + effected its purpose, the terror of the "Bubbles" was sufficient to + wreck it. + + It required very little from Swift to insure its rejection, and + rejected it was by the Irish legislature, before whose + consideration it was brought. + + * * * * * + + Some doubt seems to obtain as to the authenticity of this "Essay on + English Bubbles," which, in the words of Sir Walter Scott, may "be + considered as introductory to the other" tracts on the Bank + Project. This essay, however, appears in the edition of 1720 of + "The Swearer's Bank," and, although it is not included in the + "Miscellanies" of 1722, it is accepted by Faulkner in his collected + edition of Swift's works. The present text is based on that + prefixed to the edition of "The Swearer's Bank," 1720. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN ESSAY ON ENGLISH BUBBLES. + +BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. + + To the Right Reverend, Right Honourable, and Right Worshipful, and + to the Reverend, Honourable, and Worshipful, &c. Company of + Stockjobbers; whether Honest or Dishonest, Pious or Impious, Wise + or Otherwise, Male or Female, Young or Old, One with another, who + have suffered Depredation by the late Bubbles: _Greeting_. + + +Having received the following scheme from Dublin, I give you the +earliest notice, how you may retrieve the DECUS ET TUTAMEN,[23] +which you have sacrificed by permits in bubbles. This project is founded +on a Parliamentary security, besides, the devil is in it, if it can +fail, since a dignitary of the Church[24] is at the head on't. Therefore +you, who have subscribed to the stocking insurance, and are out at the +heels, may soon appear tight about the legs. You, who encouraged the +hemp manufacture, may leave the halter to rogues, and prevent the odium +of _felo de se_. Medicinal virtues are here to be had without the +expense and hazard of a dispensary: You may sleep without dreaming of +bottles at your tail, and a looking-glass shall not affright you; and +since the glass bubble proved as brittle as its ware, and broke together +with itself the hopes of its proprietors, they may make themselves whole +by subscribing to our new fund. + +Here indeed may be made three very grave objections, by incredulous +interested priests, ambitious citizens, and scrupulous statesmen. The +stocking manufactory gentlemen don't know how swearing can bring 'em to +any probability of covering their legs anew, unless it be by the means +of a pair of stocks: That the hemp-snared men apprehend, that such an +encouragement for oaths can tend to no other advancement, promotion, and +exaltation of their persons, than that of the gallows: The late old +ordinary, Paul,[25] having grown grey in the habit of making this +accurate observation in every month's Session-Paper, "That swearing had +as great a hand in the suspension of every living soul under his cure, +as Sabbath-breaking itself;" and that the glass-bubble-men cannot, for +their lives, with the best pair of spectacles, that is the only thing +left neat and whole, out of all their wares, see how they shall make +anything out of this his oath-project, supposing he should even confirm +by one its goodness: An oath being, as they say, as brittle as glass, +and only made to be broken. + +But those incredulous priests shall not go without an answer, that will, +I am sure, induce them to place a great confidence in the benefit +arising from Christians, who damn themselves every hour of the day. For +while they speak of the vainness and fickleness of oaths, as an +objection against our project, they little consider that this fickleness +and vainness is the common practice among all the people of this +sublunary world; and that consequently, instead of being an objection +against the project, is a concluding argument of the constancy and +solidity of their sure gain by it; a never-failing argument, as he tells +us, among the brethren of his cloth. + +The ambitious citizens, who from being plunged deep in the wealthy +whirlpool of the South-Sea, are in hopes of rising to such seats of +fortune and dignity, as would best suit with their mounting and aspiring +hopes, may imagine that this new fund, in the sister nation, may prove a +rival to theirs; and, by drawing off a multitude of subscribers, will, +if it makes a flood in Ireland, cause an ebb in England. But it may be +answered, that, though our author avers, that this fund will vie with +the South-Sea, yet it will not clash with it. On the contrary, the +subscribers to this must wish the increase of the South-Sea, (so far +from being its rival); because the multitude of people raised by it, who +were plain-speakers, as they were plain-dealers before, must learn to +swear, in order to become their clothes, and to be gentlemen _à la +mode_; while those that are ruined, I mean Job'd by it, will dismiss the +patience of their old pattern, swear at their condition, and curse their +Maker in their distress; and so the increase of that English fund will +be demonstratively an ample augmentation of the Irish one: So far will +it be from being rivalled by it, so that each of them may subscribe to a +fund they have their own security for augmenting. + +The scrupulous statesmen (for we know that statesmen are usually very +scrupulous) may object against having this project secured by votes in +Parliament; by reason, as they may deem it, in their great wisdom, an +impious project; and that therefore so illustrious an assembly, as the +Irish parliament, ought, by no means, according to the opinion of a +Christian statesman, to be concerned in supporting an impious thing in +the world. The way that some may take to prove it impious, is, because +it will tend highly to the interest of swearing.--But this I take to be +plain downright sophistry, and playing upon words: If this be called the +Swearing project, or the Oath-act, the increase of swearing will be very +much for the benefit and interest of swearing, (_i.e._) to the +subscribers in the fund to be raised by this fruitful Swearing-act, if +it should be so called; but not to the swearers themselves, who are to +pay for it: So that it will be, according to this distinction, piously +indeed an act for a benefit to mankind, _from_ swearing, not +_impiously_, a benefit _in swearing_: So that I think that argument +entirely answered and defeated. Far be it from the Dean to have entered +into so unchristian a project, as this had been, so considered. But then +these politicians (being generally, as the world knows, mighty tender of +conscience) may raise these new doubts, fears, and scruples, _viz._ that +it will however cause the subscribers to wish, in their minds, for many +oaths to fly about, which is a heinous crime, and to lay stratagems to +try the patience of men of all sorts, to put them upon the swearing +strain, in order to bring grist to their own mill, which is a crime +still more enormous; and that therefore, for fear of these evil +consequences, the passing of such an act is not consistent with the +really extraordinary and tender conscience of a true modern politician. +But in answer to this, I think I can plead the strongest plea in nature, +and that is called precedent, I think; which I take thus from the +South-Sea: One man, by the very nature of that subscription, must +naturally pray for the temporal damnation of another man in his fortune, +in order for gaining his own salvation in it; yea, even though he knows +the other man's temporal damnation would be the cause of his eternal, by +his swearing and despairing. Neither do I think this in casuistry and +sin, because the swearing, undone man is a free agent, and can choose +whether he will swear or no, anybody's wishes whatsoever to the contrary +notwithstanding: And in politics I am sure it is even a Machiavellian +holy maxim, "That some men should be ruined for the good of others." +Thus I think I have answered all the objections that can be brought +against this project's coming to perfection, and proved it to be +convenient for the state, of interest to the Protestant church, and +consonant with Christianity, nay, with the very scruples of modern, +squeamish statesmen. + +To conclude: The laudable author of this project squares the measures of +it so much according to the scripture rule, it may reasonably be +presumed, that all good Christians in England will come as fast into the +subscriptions for his encouragement, as they have already done +throughout the kingdom of Ireland. For what greater proof could this +author give of his Christianity, than, for bringing about this +Swearing-act, charitably to part with his coat, and sit starving in a +very thin waistcoat in his garret, to do the corporal virtues of feeding +and clothing the poor, and raising them from the cottage to the palace, +by punishing the vices of the rich. What more could have been done even +in the primitive times! + + THOMAS HOPE. + + From my House in St. Faith's Parish, + London, August 10, 1720. + +P.S.--For the benefit of the author, application may be made to me at +the Tilt-Yard Coffee-house, Whitehall. + + + + +THE SWEARER'S BANK. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The plan for the establishment of a National Bank in Dublin was + first put forward in 1720 in the form of a petition presented to + the King by the Earl of Abercorn, Viscount Boyne, Sir Ralph Gore, + and others. It was proposed to raise a fund of £500,000 for the + purpose of loaning money to merchants at a comparatively low rate + of interest. The King approved of the petition, and directed that a + charter of incorporation for such a bank should pass the Great Seal + of Ireland. When the matter came up for discussion in the Irish + Houses of Legislature, both the Lords and Commons rejected the + proposal on the ground that no safe foundation for such an + establishment could be found. (See note _post_.) + + During and after the discussion on this project in the legislature + a pamphlet controversy arose in which two able writers + distinguished themselves--Mr. Henry Maxwell and Mr. Hercules + Rowley. The former was in favour of the bank while Mr. Rowley was + against it. + + Mr. Maxwell argued soundly from the ground on which all banking + institutions were founded. Mr. Rowley, however, pointed out that + the condition of Ireland, dependent as that country was on + England's whims, and interfered with as she always had been, by + English selfishness, in her commercial and industrial enterprises, + would not be bettered were the bank to prove even a great success. + For, should the bank be found in any way to touch the trade of + England, it might be taken for granted that its charter would be + repealed, and Ireland find itself in a worse state than it was + before. + + The pamphlets written by these gentlemen bear the following titles: + + (1) Reasons offer'd for erecting a Bank in Ireland; in a letter to + Hercules Rowley, Esq., by Henry Maxwell, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + (2) An Answer to a Book, intitled Reasons offered for erecting a + Bank in Ireland. In a Letter to Henry Maxwell, Esq. By Hercules + Rowley, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + (3) Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley, wherein the + objections against the Bank are answered. Dublin, 1721. + + (4) An answer to Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley, + concerning the Bank. By Hercules Rowley, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + * * * * * + + Sir Walter Scott, in his edition of Swift's works, reprints these + pamphlets. The text of the present edition of "The Swearer's Bank" + is based on that published in London in 1720. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +_Swearer's_-Bank: + +OR, + +Parliamentary Security + +FOR + +Establishing a new BANK + +IN + +_IRELAND_. + +WHEREIN + +The Medicinal Use of OATHS is considered. + +(WITH + +The _Best in Christendom_. A TALE.) + + * * * * * + +_Written by Dean_ SWIFT. + + * * * * * + +_Si Populus vult decipi decipiatur._ + + * * * * * + +To which is prefixed, + +An ESSAY upon _English_ BUBBLES. + +_By_ THOMAS HOPE, _Esq_; + + * * * * * + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by THOMAS HUME, next Door to the _Walsh's-Head_ in +_Smock-Alley_. 1720. Reprinted at _London_ by J. ROBERTS in +_Warwick-Lane_. + + + + +THE SWEARER'S BANK. + + +"To believe everything that is said by a certain set of men, and to +doubt of nothing they relate, though ever so improbable," is a maxim +that has contributed as much for the time, to the support of Irish +banks, as it ever did to the Popish religion; and they are not only +beholden to the latter for their foundation, but they have the happiness +to have the same patron saint: For Ignorance, the reputed mother of the +devotion of the one, seems to bear the same affectionate relation to the +credit of the other. + +To subscribe to banks, without knowing the scheme or design of them, is +not unlike to some gentlemen's signing addresses without knowing the +contents of them: To engage in a bank that has neither act of +parliament, charter, nor lands to support it, is like sending a ship to +sea without bottom; to expect a coach and six by the former, would be as +ridiculous as to hope a return by the latter. + +It was well known some time ago, that our banks would be included in the +bubble-bill; and it was believed those chimeras would necessarily vanish +with the first easterly wind that should inform the town of the royal +assent. + +It was very mortifying to several gentlemen, who dreamed of nothing but +easy chariots, on the arrival of the fatal packet, to slip out of them +into their walking shoes. But should those banks, as it is vainly +imagined, be so fortunate as to obtain a charter, and purchase lands; +yet on any run on them in a time of invasion, there would be so many +starving proprietors, reviving their old pretensions to land, and a +bellyful, that the subscribers would be unwilling, upon any call, to +part with their money, not knowing what might happen: So that in a +rebellion, where the success was doubtful, the bank would infallibly +break.[26] + +Since so many gentlemen of this town have had the courage, without any +security, to appear in the same paper with a million or two; it is +hoped, when they are made sensible of their safety, that they will be +prevailed to trust themselves in a neat skin of parchment with a single +one. + +To encourage them, the undertaker proposes the erecting a bank on +parliamentary security, and such security as no revolution or change of +times can affect. + +To take away all jealousy of any private view of the undertaker, he +assures the world, that he is now in a garret, in a very thin waistcoat, +studying the public good, having given an undeniable pledge of his love +to his country, by pawning his coat, in order to defray the expense of +the press. + +It is very well known, that by an act of parliament to prevent profane +swearing, the person so offending, on oath made before a magistrate, +forfeits a shilling, which may be levied with little difficulty. + +It is almost unnecessary to mention, that this is become a pet-vice +among us; and though age renders us unfit for other vices, yet this, +where it takes hold, never leaves us but with our speech. + +So vast a revenue might be raised by the execution of this act, that I +have often wondered, in such a scarcity of funds, that methods have not +been taken to make it serviceable to the public. + +I dare venture to say, if this act was well executed in England, the +revenue of it applied to the navy, would make the English fleet a terror +to all Europe. + +It is computed by geographers, that there are two millions in this +kingdom, (of Ireland) of which number there may be said to be a million +of swearing souls. + +It is thought there may be five thousand gentlemen; every gentleman, +taking one with another, may afford to swear an oath every day, which +will yearly produce one million, eight hundred, twenty-five thousand +oaths, which number of shillings makes the yearly sum of ninety-one +thousand, two hundred and fifty pounds. + +The farmers of this kingdom, who are computed to be ten thousand, are +able to spend yearly five hundred thousand oaths, which gives +twenty-five thousand pounds; and it is conjectured, that from the bulk +of the people twenty, or five-and-twenty thousand pounds may be yearly +collected. + +These computations are very modest, since it is evident that there is a +much greater consumption of oaths in this kingdom, and consequently a +much greater sum might be yearly raised. + +That it may be collected with ease and regularity, it is proposed to +settle informers in great towns in proportion to the number of +inhabitants, and to have riding-officers in the country; and since +nothing brings a greater contempt on any profession than poverty, it is +determined to settle very handsome salaries on the gentlemen that are +employed by the bank, that they may, by a generosity of living, +reconcile men to an office, that has lain under so much scandal of late, +as to be undertaken by none but curates, clerks of meeting-houses, and +broken tradesmen. + +It is resolved, that none shall be preferred to those employments, but +persons that are notorious for being constant churchmen, and frequent +communicants; whose piety will be a sufficient security for their honest +and industrious execution of their office. + +It is very probable, that twenty thousand pounds will be necessary to +defray all expenses of servants salaries, &c. However, there will be the +clear yearly sum of one hundred thousand pounds, which may very justly +claim a million subscription. + +It is determined to lay out the remaining unapplied profits, which will +be very considerable, towards the erecting and maintaining charity +schools; a design so beneficial to the public, and especially to the +Protestant interest of this kingdom, has met with so much encouragement +from several great patriots in England, that they have engaged to +procure an act to secure the sole benefit of informing, on this swearing +act, to the agents and servants of this new bank. Several of my friends +pretend to demonstrate, that this bank will in time vie with the South +Sea Company: They insist, that the army dispend as many oaths yearly as +will produce one hundred thousand pounds _net_. + +There are computed to be one hundred pretty fellows in this town, that +swear fifty oaths a head daily; some of them would think it hard to be +stinted to an hundred: This very branch would produce a vast sum yearly. + +The fairs of this kingdom will bring in a vast revenue; the oaths of a +little Connaught one, as well as they could be numbered by two persons, +amounted to three thousand. It is true, that it would be impossible to +turn all of them into ready money; for a shilling is so great a duty on +swearing, that if it was carefully exacted, the common people might as +well pretend to drink wine as to swear; and an oath would be as rare +among them as a clean shirt. + +A servant that I employed to accompany the militia their last muster +day, had scored down in the compass of eight hours, three hundred oaths, +but as the putting the act in execution on those days, would only fill +the stocks with porters, and pawn-shops with muskets and swords: And as +it would be matter of great joy to Papists, and disaffected persons, to +see our militia swear themselves out of their guns and swords, it is +resolved, that no advantage shall be taken of any militiaman's swearing +while he is under arms; nor shall any advantage be taken of any man's +swearing in the Four Courts provided he is at hearing in the exchequer, +or has just paid off an attorney's bill. + +The medicinal use of oaths is what the undertaker would by no means +discourage, especially where it is necessary to help the lungs to throw +off any distilling humour. On certificate of a course of swearing +prescribed by any physician, a permit will be given to the patient by +the proper officer of the bank, paying no more but sixpence. It is +expected, that a scheme of so much advantage to the public will meet +with more encouragement than their chimerical banks; and the undertaker +hopes, that as he has spent a considerable fortune in bringing this +scheme to bear, he may have the satisfaction to see it take place, for +the public good, though he should have the fate of most projectors, to +be undone. + +It is resolved, that no compositions shall be made, nor licences granted +for swearing, under a notion of applying the money to pious uses; a +practice so scandalous as is fit only for the see of Rome, where the +money arising from whoring licences is applied _ad propagandam fidem_: +And to the shame of Smock-alley, and of all Protestant whores, +(especially those who live under the light of the Gospel-ministry) be it +spoken, a whore in Rome never lies down, but she hopes it will be the +means of converting some poor heathen, or heretic. + +The swearing revenues of the town of Cork will be given for ever, by the +bank, to the support of poor clergymen's widows; and those of Ringsend +will be allowed to the maintenance of sailors' bastards. + +The undertaker designs, in a few days, to appoint time and place for +taking subscriptions; the subscribers must come prepared to pay down one +fourth, on subscribing. + + +POSTSCRIPT. + +The Jews of Rotterdam have offered to farm the revenues of Dublin at +twenty thousand pounds _per ann._ Several eminent Quakers are also +willing to take them at that rent; but the undertaker has rejected their +proposals, being resolved to deal with none but Christians. + +Application may be made to him about them, any day at Pat's +coffee-house, where attendance will be given. + + + + +A LETTER + +TO THE + +KING AT ARMS. + +[FROM A REPUTED ESQUIRE,[27] ONE OF THE SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK.] + + + + +_November 18, 1721._ + +SIR, + +In a late printed paper,[28] containing some notes and queries upon that +list of the subscribers' names, which was published by order of the +commissioners for receiving of subscriptions, I find some hints and +innuendoes that would seem to insinuate, as if I and some others were +only _reputed_ esquires; and our case is referred to you, in your kingly +capacity. I desire you will please to let me know the lowest price of a +real esquire's coat of arms: And, if we can agree, I will give my bond +to pay you out of the first interest I receive for my subscription; +because things are a little low with me at present, by throwing my +whole fortune into the bank, having subscribed for five hundred pounds +sterling. + +I hope you will not question my pretensions to this title, when I let +you know that my godfather was a justice of peace, and I myself have +been often a keeper of it. My father was a leader and commander of +horse, in which post he rode before the greatest lords of the land;[29] +and, in long marches, he alone presided over the baggage, advancing +directly before it. My mother kept open house in Dublin, where several +hundreds were supported with meat and drink, bought at her own charge, +or with her personal credit, until some envious brewers and butchers +forced her to retire.[30] + +As to myself, I have been, for several years, a foot-officer; and it was +my charge to guard the carriages, behind which I was commanded to stick +close, that they might not be attacked in the rear. I have had the +honour to be a favourite of several fine ladies; who, each of them at +different times, gave me such coloured knots and public marks of +distinction, that every one knew which of them it was to whom I paid my +address. They would not go into their coach without me, nor willingly +drink unless I gave them the glass with my own hand. They allowed me to +call them my mistresses, and owned that title publicly. I have been +told, that the true ancient employment of a squire was to carry a +knight's shield, painted with his colours and coat of arms. This is what +I have witnesses to produce that I have often done; not indeed in a +shield, like my predecessors, but that which is full as good, I have +carried the colours of a knight upon my coat.[31] I have likewise borne +the king's arms in my hand, as a mark of authority;[32] and hung them +painted before my dwelling-house, as a mark of my calling:[33] So that I +may truly say, His Majesty's arms have been my supporters. I have been a +strict and constant follower of men of quality, I have diligently +pursued the steps of several squires, and am able to behave myself as +well as the best of them, whenever there shall be occasion. + +I desire it may be no disadvantage to me, that, by the new act of +parliament going to pass for preserving the game, I am not yet qualified +to keep a greyhound. If this should be the test of squirehood, it will +go hard with a great number of my fraternity, as well as myself, who +must all be unsquired, because a greyhound will not be allowed to keep +us company; and it is well known I have been a companion to his betters. +What has a greyhound to do with a squireship? Might I not be a real +squire, although there was no such thing as a greyhound in the world? +Pray tell me, sir, are greyhounds to be from henceforth the supporters +of every squire's coat of arms? Although I cannot keep a greyhound, may +not a greyhound help to keep me? May not I have an order from the +governors of the bank to keep a greyhound, with a _non obstante_ to the +act of parliament, as well as they have created a bank against the votes +of the two Houses? But, however, this difficulty will soon be overcome. +I am promised _125l._ a year for subscribing _500l._; and, of this +_500l._ I am to pay in only _25l._ ready money: The governors will trust +me for the rest, and pay themselves out of the interest by _25l._ _per +cent._ So that I intend to receive only _40l._ a-year, to qualify me for +keeping my family and a greyhound, and let the remaining _85l._ go on +till it makes _500l._ then _1000l._ then _10,000l._ then _100,000l._ +then a million, and so forwards. This, I think, is much better (betwixt +you and me) than keeping fairs, and buying and selling bullocks; by +which I find, from experience, that little is to be gotten, in these +hard times. I am, + + SIR, + Your friend, and + Servant to command, + A. B. ESQUIRE. + +_Postscript_. I hope you will favourably represent my case to the +publisher of the paper above-mentioned. + +Direct your letter for A. B. Esquire, at ---- in ----; and, pray, get some +parliament-man to frank it, for it will cost a groat postage to this +place. + + + + +THE + +LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS + +OF + +EBENEZER ELLISTON. + +WHO WAS EXECUTED THE SECOND DAY OF MAY, 1722. + +_Published at his desire, for the common good._ + + + _N. B. About the time that this speech was written, the Town was + much pestered with street-robbers; who, in a barbarous manner would + seize on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners, and after + they had robbed them, would leave them bound and gagged. It is + remarkable, that this speech had so good an effect, that there have + been very few robberies of that kind committed since._[34] + + + + + NOTE. + + + Burke spoke of Swift's tracts of a public nature, relating to + Ireland, as "those in which the Dean appears in the best light, + because they do honour to his heart as well as his head; furnishing + some additional proofs that, though he was very free in his abuse + of the inhabitants of that country, as well natives as foreigners, + he had their interest sincerely at heart, and perfectly understood + it." + + The following tract on "The Last Words and Dying Speech of Ebenezer + Elliston" admirably illustrates Burke's remark. + + The city of Dublin, at the time Swift wrote, was on a par with some + of the lower districts of New York City about twenty years ago, + which were dangerous in the extreme to traverse after dark. Robbers + in gangs would waylay pedestrians and leave them often badly + maltreated and maimed. These thieves and "roughs" became so + impudent and brazen in their business that the condition of the + city was a disgrace to the municipal government. To put down the + nuisance Swift took a characteristic method. Ebenezer Elliston had, + about this time, been executed for street robbery. Although given a + good education by his parents, he forsook his trade of a silk + weaver, and became a gambler and burglar. He was well known to the + other gangs which infested Dublin, but his death did not act as a + deterrent. Swift, in composing Elliston's pretended dying speech, + gave it the flavour and character of authenticity in order to + impose on the members of other gangs, and so successful was he in + his intention, that the speech was accepted as the real expression + of their late companion by the rest and had a most salutary effect. + Scott says it was "received as genuine by the banditti who had been + companions of his depredations, who were the more easily persuaded + of its authenticity as it contained none of the cant usual in the + dying speeches composed for malefactors by the Ordinary or the + ballad-makers. The threat which it held out of a list deposited + with a secure hand, containing their names, crimes, and place of + rendezvous, operated for a long time in preventing a repetition of + their villanies, which had previously been so common." + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that given by Faulkner + in the fourth volume of his edition of Swift printed in Dublin in + 1735. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON. + + +I am now going to suffer the just punishment for my crimes prescribed by +the law of God and my country. I know it is the constant custom, that +those who come to this place should have speeches made for them, and +cried about in their own hearing, as they are carried to execution; and +truly they are such speeches that although our fraternity be an ignorant +illiterate people, they would make a man ashamed to have such nonsense +and false English charged upon him even when he is going to the gallows: +They contain a pretended account of our birth and family; of the fact +for which we are to die; of our sincere repentance; and a declaration of +our religion.[35] I cannot expect to avoid the same treatment with my +predecessors. However, having had an education one or two degrees better +than those of my rank and profession;[36] I have been considering ever +since my commitment, what it might be proper for me to deliver upon this +occasion. + +And first, I cannot say from the bottom of my heart, that I am truly +sorry for the offence I have given to God and the world; but I am very +much so, for the bad success of my villainies in bringing me to this +untimely end. For it is plainly evident, that after having some time ago +obtained a pardon from the crown, I again took up my old trade; my evil +habits were so rooted in me, and I was grown so unfit for any other +kind of employment. And therefore although in compliance with my +friends, I resolve to go to the gallows after the usual manner, +kneeling, with a book in my hand, and my eyes lift up; yet I shall feel +no more devotion in my heart than I have observed in some of my +comrades, who have been drunk among common whores the very night before +their execution. I can say further from my own knowledge, that two of my +fraternity after they had been hanged, and wonderfully came to life, and +made their escapes, as it sometimes happens, proved afterwards the +wickedest rogues I ever knew, and so continued until they were hanged +again for good and all; and yet they had the impudence at both times +they went to the gallows, to smite their breasts, and lift up their eyes +to Heaven all the way. + +Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my own wicked dispositions and +that of my comrades, I give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more +unfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the government in ever +pardoning or transporting us; unless when we betray one another, as we +never fail to do, if we are sure to be well paid; and then a pardon may +do good; by the same rule, "That it is better to have but one fox in a +farm than three or four." But we generally make a shift to return after +being transported, and are ten times greater rogues than before, and +much more cunning. Besides, I know it by experience, that some hopes we +have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after we are condemned, is +always a great encouragement to us. + +Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle young fellows, than the +company of those odious common whores we frequent, and of which this +town is full: These wretches put us upon all mischief to feed their +lusts and extravagancies: They are ten times more bloody and cruel than +men; their advice is always not to spare if we are pursued; they get +drunk with us, and are common to us all; and yet, if they can get +anything by it, are sure to be our betrayers. + +Now, as I am a dying man, I have done something which may be of good use +to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only +honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked +brethren, the present places of their abode, with a short account of the +chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their +accomplice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise +set down the names of those we call our setters, of the wicked houses we +frequent, and of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have +solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon +oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbing, or +house-breaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name +there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the government. +Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they +will take it. + +In the paper above mentioned, which I left with my friend, I have also +set down the names of several gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin +streets for three years past: I have told the circumstances of those +robberies; and shewn plainly that nothing but the want of common courage +was the cause of their misfortunes. I have therefore desired my friend, +that whenever any gentlemen happens to be robbed in the streets, he will +get that relation printed and published with the first letters of those +gentlemen's names, who by their own want of bravery are likely to be the +cause of all the mischief of that kind, which may happen for the future. + +I cannot leave the world without a short description of that kind of +life, which I have led for some years past; and is exactly the same with +the rest of our wicked brethren. + +Although we are generally so corrupted from our childhood, as to have no +sense of goodness; yet something heavy always hangs about us, I know not +what it is, that we are never easy till we are half drunk among our +whores and companions; nor sleep sound, unless we drink longer than we +can stand. If we go abroad in the day, a wise man would easily find us +to be rogues by our faces; we have such a suspicious, fearful, and +constrained countenance; often turning back, and slinking through narrow +lanes and alleys. I have never failed of knowing a brother thief by his +looks, though I never saw him before. Every man among us keeps his +particular whore, who is however common to us all, when we have a mind +to change. When we have got a booty, if it be in money, we divide it +equally among our companions, and soon squander it away on our vices in +those houses that receive us; for the master and mistress, and the very +tapster, go snacks; and besides make us pay treble reckonings. If our +plunder be plate, watches, rings, snuff-boxes, and the like; we have +customers in all quarters of the town to take them off. I have seen a +tankard worth fifteen pounds sold to a fellow in ---- street for twenty +shillings; and a gold watch for thirty. I have set down his name, and +that of several others in the paper already mentioned. We have setters +watching in corners, and by dead walls, to give us notice when a +gentleman goes by; especially if he be anything in drink. I believe in +my conscience, that if an account were made of a thousand pounds in +stolen goods; considering the low rates we sell them at, the bribes we +must give for concealment, the extortions of alehouse-reckonings, and +other necessary charges, there would not remain fifty pounds clear to be +divided among the robbers. And out of this we must find clothes for our +whores, besides treating them from morning to night; who, in requital, +reward us with nothing but treachery and the pox. For when our money is +gone, they are every moment threatening to inform against us, if we will +not go out to look for more. If anything in this world be like hell, as +I have heard it described by our clergy; the truest picture of it must +be in the back-room of one of our ale-houses at midnight; where a crew of +robbers and their whores are met together after a booty, and are +beginning to grow drunk, from which time, until they are past their +senses, is such a continued horrible noise of cursing, blasphemy, +lewdness, scurrility, and brutish behaviour; such roaring and confusion, +such a clatter of mugs and pots at each other's heads, that Bedlam, in +comparison, is a sober and orderly place: At last they all tumble from +their stools and benches, and sleep away the rest of the night; and +generally the landlord or his wife, or some other whore who has a +stronger head than the rest, picks their pockets before they wake. The +misfortune is, that we can never be easy till we are drunk; and our +drunkenness constantly exposes us to be more easily betrayed and taken. + +This is a short picture of the life I have led; which is more miserable +than that of the poorest labourer who works for four pence a day; and +yet custom is so strong, that I am confident, if I could make my escape +at the foot of the gallows, I should be following the same course this +very evening. So that upon the whole, we ought to be looked upon as the +common enemies of mankind; whose interest it is to root us out likes +wolves, and other mischievous vermin, against which no fair play is +required. + +If I have done service to men in what I have said, I shall hope I have +done service to God; and that will be better than a silly speech made +for me full of whining and canting, which I utterly despise, and have +never been used to; yet such a one I expect to have my ears tormented +with, as I am passing along the streets. + +Good people fare ye well; bad as I am, I leave many worse behind me. I +hope you shall see me die like a man, the death of a dog. + E. E. + + + + +THE TRUTH + +OF SOME + +MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT, + +EXAMINED + +WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND. + + + + + NOTE. + + + These maxims, written in the year 1724, may be taken as Swift's + opening of his campaign against the oppressive legislation of + England which had brought Ireland to the degraded and + poverty-stricken condition it existed in at the time he wrote. + Burke characterizes these maxims as "a collection of State + Paradoxes, abounding with great sense and penetration." The + subjects they touch on are dealt with in greater detail in the + tracts which follow in this volume, and the reader is referred to + them and the notes for the causes which had brought Ireland in so + low a state. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that given by Deane + Swift in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + +MAXIMS CONTROLLED[37] IN IRELAND. + + +There are certain maxims of state, founded upon long observation and +experience, drawn from the constant practice of the wisest nations, and +from the very principles of government, nor ever controlled by any +writer upon politics. Yet all these maxims do necessarily presuppose a +kingdom, or commonwealth, to have the same natural rights common to the +rest of mankind, who have entered into civil society; for if we could +conceive a nation where each of the inhabitants had but one eye, one +leg, and one hand, it is plain that, before you could institute them +into a republic, an allowance must be made for those material defects +wherein they differed from other mortals. Or, imagine a legislator +forming a system for the government of Bedlam, and, proceeding upon the +maxim that man is a sociable animal, should draw them out of their +cells, and form them into corporations or general assemblies; the +consequence might probably be, that they would fall foul on each other, +or burn the house over their own heads. + +Of the like nature are innumerable errors committed by crude and short +thinkers, who reason upon general topics, without the least allowance +for the most important circumstances, which quite alter the nature of +the case. + +This hath been the fate of those small dealers, who are every day +publishing their thoughts, either on paper or in their assemblies, for +improving the trade of Ireland, and referring us to the practice and +example of England, Holland, France, or other nations. + +I shall, therefore, examine certain maxims of government, which +generally pass for uncontrolled in the world, and consider how far they +will suit with the present condition of this kingdom. + +First, It is affirmed by wise men, that "The dearness of things +necessary for life, in a fruitful country, is a certain sign of wealth +and great commerce;" for when such necessaries are dear, it must +absolutely follow that money is cheap and plentiful. + +But this is manifestly false in Ireland, for the following reason. Some +years ago, the species of money here did probably amount to six or seven +hundred thousand pounds;[38] and I have good cause to believe, that our +remittances then did not much exceed the cash brought in to us. But, the +prodigious discouragements we have since received in every branch of our +trade, by the frequent enforcements and rigorous execution of the +navigation-act,[39] the tyranny of under custom-house officers, the +yearly addition of absentees, the payments to regiments abroad, to civil +and military officers residing in England, the unexpected sudden demands +of great sums from the treasury, and some other drains of perhaps as +great consequence,[40] we now see ourselves reduced to a state (since we +have no friends) of being pitied by our enemies; at least, if our +enemies were of such a kind, as to be capable of any regard towards us +except of hatred and contempt. + +Forty years are now passed since the Revolution, when the contention of +the British Empire was, most unfortunately for us, and altogether +against the usual course of such mighty changes in government, decided +in the least important nation; but with such ravages and ruin executed +on both sides, as to leave the kingdom a desert, which in some sort it +still continues. Neither did the long rebellions in 1641, make half such +a destruction of houses, plantations, and personal wealth, in both +kingdoms, as two years campaigns did in ours, by fighting England's +battles. + +By slow degrees, and by the gentle treatment we received under two +auspicious reigns,[41] we grew able to live without running in debt. Our +absentees were but few: we had great indulgence in trade, a considerable +share in employments of church and state; and while the short leases +continued, which were let some years after the war ended, tenants paid +their rents with ease and cheerfulness, to the great regret of their +landlords, who had taken up a spirit of oppression that is not easily +removed. And although, in these short leases, the rent was gradually to +increase after short periods, yet, as soon as the terms elapsed, the +land was let to the highest bidder, most commonly without the least +effectual clause for building or planting. Yet, by many advantages, +which this island then possessed, and hath since utterly lost, the rents +of lands still grew higher upon every lease that expired, till they have +arrived at the present exorbitance; when the frog, over-swelling +himself, burst at last. + +With the price of land of necessity rose that of corn and cattle, and +all other commodities that farmers deal in: hence likewise, obviously, +the rates of all goods and manufactures among shopkeepers, the wages of +servants, and hire of labourers. But although our miseries came on fast, +with neither trade nor money left; yet neither will the landlord abate +in his rent, nor can the tenant abate in the price of what that rent +must be paid with, nor any shopkeeper, tradesman, or labourer live, at +lower expense for food and clothing, than he did before. + +I have been the larger upon this first head, because the same +observations will clear up and strengthen a good deal of what I shall +affirm upon the rest. + +The second maxim of those who reason upon trade and government, is, to +assert that "Low interest is a certain sign of great plenty of money in +a nation," for which, as in many other articles, they produce the +examples of Holland and England. But, with relation to Ireland, this +maxim is likewise entirely false. + +There are two reasons for the lowness of interest in any country. First, +that which is usually alleged, the great plenty of species; and this is +obvious. The second is, the want of trade, which seldom falls under +common observation, although it be equally true: for, where trade is +altogether discouraged, there are few borrowers. In those countries +where men can employ a large stock, the young merchant, whose fortune +may be four or five hundred pounds, will venture to borrow as much more, +and can afford a reasonable interest. Neither is it easy, at this day, +to find many of those, whose business reaches to employ even so +inconsiderable a sum, except among the importers of wine, who, as they +have most part of the present trade in these parts of Ireland in their +hands, so they are the most exorbitant, exacting, fraudulent dealers, +that ever trafficked in any nation, and are making all possible speed to +ruin both themselves and the nation. + +From this defect of gentlemen's not knowing how to dispose of their +ready money, ariseth the high purchase of lands, which in all other +countries is reckoned a sign of wealth. For, the frugal squires, who +live below their incomes, have no other way to dispose of their savings +but by mortgage or purchase, by which the rates of land must naturally +increase; and if this trade continues long, under the uncertainty of +rents, the landed men of ready money will find it more for their +advantage to send their cash to England, and place it in the funds; +which I myself am determined to do, the first considerable sum I shall +be master of. + +It hath likewise been a maxim among politicians, "That the great +increase of buildings in the metropolis, argues a flourishing state." +But this, I confess, hath been controlled from the example of London; +where, by the long and annual parliamentary session, such a number of +senators, with their families, friends, adherents, and expectants, draw +such prodigious numbers to that city, that the old hospitable custom of +lords and gentlemen living in their ancient seats among their tenants, +is almost lost in England; is laughed out of doors; insomuch that, in +the middle of summer, a legal House of Lords and Commons might be +brought in a few hours to London, from their country villas within +twelve miles round. + +The case in Ireland is yet somewhat worse: For the absentees of great +estates, who, if they lived at home, would have many rich retainers in +their neighbourhoods, have learned to rack their lands, and shorten +their leases, as much as any residing squire; and the few remaining of +these latter, having some vain hope of employments for themselves, or +their children, and discouraged by the beggarliness and thievery of +their own miserable farmers and cottagers, or seduced by the vanity of +their wives, on pretence of their children's education (whereof the +fruits are so apparent,) together with that most wonderful, and yet more +unaccountable zeal, for a seat in their assembly, though at some years' +purchase of their whole estates: these, and some other motives better +let pass, have drawn such a concourse to this beggarly city, that the +dealers of the several branches of building have found out all the +commodious and inviting places for erecting new houses; while fifteen +hundred of the old ones, which is a seventh part of the whole city, are +said to be left uninhabited, and falling to ruin. Their method is the +same with that which was first introduced by Dr. Barebone at London, who +died a bankrupt.[42] The mason, the bricklayer, the carpenter, the +slater, and the glazier, take a lot of ground, club to build one or more +houses, unite their credit, their stock, and their money; and when their +work is finished, sell it to the best advantage they can. But, as it +often happens, and more every day, that their fund will not answer half +their design, they are forced to undersell it at the first story, and +are all reduced to beggary. Insomuch, that I know a certain fanatic +brewer, who is reported to have some hundreds of houses in this town, is +said to have purchased the greater part of them at half value from +ruined undertakers; hath intelligence of all new houses where the +finishing is at a stand, takes advantage of the builder's distress, and, +by the advantage of ready money, gets fifty _per cent._ at least for his +bargain. + +It is another undisputed maxim in government, "That people are the +riches of a nation;" which is so universally granted, that it will be +hardly pardonable to bring it in doubt. And I will grant it to be so far +true, even in this island, that if we had the African custom, or +privilege, of selling our useless bodies for slaves to foreigners, it +would be the most useful branch of our trade, by ridding us of a most +unsupportable burthen, and bringing us money in the stead. But, in our +present situation, at least five children in six who are born, lie a +dead weight upon us, for want of employment. And a very skilful computer +assured me, that above one half of the souls in this kingdom supported +themselves by begging and thievery; whereof two thirds would be able to +get their bread in any other country upon earth.[43] Trade is the only +incitement to labour; where that fails, the poorer native must either +beg, steal, or starve, or be forced to quit his country. This hath made +me often wish, for some years past, that instead of discouraging our +people from seeking foreign soil, the public would rather pay for +transporting all our unnecessary mortals, whether Papists or +Protestants, to America; as drawbacks are sometimes allowed for +exporting commodities, where a nation is overstocked. I confess myself +to be touched with a very sensible pleasure, when I hear of a mortality +in any country parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay +for a filthy cabin, and two ridges of potatoes, treble the worth; +brought up to steal or beg, for want of work; to whom death would be the +best thing to be wished for on account both of themselves and the +public.[44] + +Among all taxes imposed by the legislature, those upon luxury are +universally allowed to be the most equitable, and beneficial to the +subject; and the commonest reasoner on government might fill a volume +with arguments on the subject. Yet here again, by the singular fate of +Ireland, this maxim is utterly false; and the putting it in practice may +have such pernicious a consequence, as, I certainly believe, the +thoughts of the proposers were not able to reach. + +The miseries we suffer by our absentees, are of a far more extensive +nature than seems to be commonly understood. I must vindicate myself to +the reader so far, as to declare solemnly, that what I shall say of +those lords and squires, doth not arise from the least regard I have for +their understandings, their virtues, or their persons: for, although I +have not the honour of the least acquaintance with any one among them, +(my ambition not soaring so high) yet I am too good a witness of the +situation they have been in for thirty years past; the veneration paid +them by the people, the high esteem they are in among the prime nobility +and gentry, the particular marks of favour and distinction they receive +from the Court; the weight and consequence of their interest, added to +their great zeal and application for preventing any hardships their +country might suffer from England, wisely considering that their own +fortunes and honours were embarked in the same bottom. + + + + +THE + +BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, + +AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA. + +PROPOSED TO CONTAIN ONE AND TWENTY VOLUMES IN QUARTO + +_Begun April 20, 1724. To be continued Weekly, if due Encouragement be +given._ + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift's friends in Ireland were not many. He had no high opinion of + the people with whom he was compelled to live. But among those who + displeased him least, to use the phrase he employed in writing to + Pope, was a kindly and warm-hearted scholar named Sheridan. + Sheridan must have taken Swift's fancy, since they spent much time + together and wrote each other verses and nonsense rhymes. He had + failed in his attempt to keep up a school in Dublin, and refused + the headmastership of the school of Armagh which Lord Primate + Lindsay had offered him, through Swift's efforts. Swift however + obtained for him, from Carteret, one of the chaplaincies of the + Lord-Lieutenant and a small living near Cork. Unfortunately + Sheridan was struck off from the list of chaplains on the + information of one Richard Tighe who reported that Sheridan, on the + anniversary of the accession of the House of Hanover, had preached + from the text "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Poor + Sheridan had been totally unconscious of committing any + indiscretion, but he could not deny the fact. + + It was at Quilca, a small county village, near Kells, that Sheridan + was accustomed to spend his vacations with his family at a small + house he owned there. Swift used often to use this house, at + Sheridan's desire, and spent many days there in quiet enjoyment + with Mrs. Dingley and Esther Johnson. The place and his life there + he has attempted to describe in the following piece; but the + description may also stand, as Scott observes, as "no bad + supplement to Swift's account of Ireland." + + * * * * * + + The text here given is based on that printed in the eighth volume + of the Edinburgh edition of 1761. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, + +AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.[45] + + +But one lock and a half in the whole house. + +The key of the garden door lost. + +The empty bottles all uncleanable. + +The vessels for drink few and leaky. + +The new house all going to ruin before it is finished. + +One hinge of the street door broke off, and the people forced to go out +and come in at the back-door. + +The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks. + +The beaufet letting in so much wind that it almost blows out the +candles. + +The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him. + +The little table loose and broken in the joints. + +The passages open over head, by which the cats pass continually into the +cellar, and eat the victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and +executed by the sword. + +The large table in a very tottering condition. + +But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that in a very ill +state of health. + +The kitchen perpetually crowded with savages. + +Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country. + +Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the servants, till supplied +from Kells. + +An egregious want of all the most common necessary utensils. + +Not a bit of turf in this cold weather; and Mrs. Johnson[46] and the +Dean in person, with all their servants, forced to assist at the bog, in +gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps. + +The grate in the ladies' bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by +which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking +intolerably; and the Dean's great-coat was employed to stop the wind +from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have +been starved to death. + +A messenger sent a mile to borrow an old broken tun-dish. + +Bottles stopped with bits of wood and tow, instead of corks. + +Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels +through the house, and is likewise employed to take the meat out of the +pot, for want of a flesh-fork. + +Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink, and every comer +and goer as arrant a thief of everything he or she can lay their hands +on. + +The spit blunted with poking into bogs for timber, and tears the meat to +pieces. + +_Bellum atque foeminam_: or, A kitchen war between nurse and a nasty +crew of both sexes; she to preserve order and cleanliness, they to +destroy both; and they generally are conquerors. + +_April_ 28. This morning the great fore-door quite open, dancing +backwards and forwards with all its weight upon the lower hinge, which +must have been broken if the Dean had not accidentally come and relieved +it. + +A great hole in the floor of the ladies' chamber, every hour hazarding a +broken leg. + +Two damnable iron spikes erect on the Dean's bedstead, by which he is in +danger of a broken shin at rising and going to bed. + +The ladies' and Dean's servants growing fast into the manners and +thieveries of the natives; the ladies themselves very much corrupted; +the Dean perpetually storming, and in danger of either losing all his +flesh, or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace. + +Mrs. Dingley[47] full of cares for herself, and blunders and negligence +for her friends. Mrs. Johnson sick and helpless. The Dean deaf and +fretting; the lady's maid awkward and clumsy; Robert lazy and forgetful; +William a pragmatical, ignorant, and conceited puppy; Robin and nurse +the two great and only supports of the family. + +_Bellum lacteum_: or, The milky battle, fought between the Dean and the +crew of Quilca; the latter insisting on their privilege of not milking +till eleven in the forenoon; whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight +for her health. In this battle the Dean got the victory; but the crew of +Quilca begin to rebel again; for it is this day almost ten o'clock, and +Mrs. Johnson hath not got her milk. + +A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants: "The worse their +sty--the longer they lie."[48] + +Two great holes in the wall of the ladies' bed-chamber, just at the back +of the bed, and one of them directly behind Mrs. Johnson's pillow, +either of which would blow out a candle in the calmest day. + + + + +A + +Short VIEW + +OF THE + +STATE + +OF + +IRELAND. + + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by _S. HARDING_, next Door to the _Crown_ in _Copper-Alley_, +1727-8. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This tract, written and published towards the end of the year 1728, + summarizes the disadvantages under which Ireland suffered at the + time, and re-enforces the contention that these were mainly due to + England's jealousy and stupid indifference. Swift, however, does + not lose sight of the fact that the people of Ireland also were + somewhat to blame, though in a much less degree. + + In Dublin, where tracts of this nature had now become almost + commonplace and where official interference in their publication + had been found unwise and even dangerous, the issue of the "Short + View" was effected without any official comment. In England, + however, where it was reprinted by Mist the journalist, it was + otherwise. Its publication brought down a prosecution on Mist, who, + no doubt, numbered this with the many others which were visited + upon him. It is an important tract, to which many historians of + Ireland have often referred. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that of the first + edition and compared with that given by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A SHORT VIEW + +OF + +THE STATE OF IRELAND. + + +I am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of +making men's court, when they are asked about the rate of lands, the +abilities of tenants, the state of trade and manufacture in this +Kingdom, and how their rents are paid, to answer, That in their +neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing condition, the rent and +purchase of land every day increasing. And if a gentleman happens to be +a little more sincere in his representations, besides being looked on as +not well affected, he is sure to have a dozen contradictors at his +elbow. I think it is no manner of secret why these questions are so +cordially asked, or so obligingly answered. + +But since with regard to the affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using +all endeavours to subdue my indignation, to which indeed I am not +provoked by any personal interest, being not the owner of one spot of +ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by rules generally +known, and never contradicted, what are the true causes of any country's +flourishing and growing rich, and then examine what effects arise from +those causes in the Kingdom of Ireland. + +The first cause of a Kingdom's thriving is the fruitfulness of the soil, +to produce the necessaries and conveniences of life, not only sufficient +for the inhabitants, but for exportation into other countries. + +The second, is the industry of the people in working up all their native +commodities to the last degree of manufacture. + +The third, is the conveniency of safe ports and havens, to carry out +their own goods, as much manufactured, and bring in those of others, as +little manufactured as the nature of mutual commerce will allow. + +The fourth, is, That the natives should as much as possible, export and +import their goods in vessels of their own timber, made in their own +country. + +The fifth, is the liberty of a free trade in all foreign countries, +which will permit them, except those who are in war with their own +Prince or State. + +The sixth, is, by being governed only by laws made with their own +consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all +appeals for justice, or applications, for favour or preferment to +another country, are so many grievous impoverishments. + +The seventh, is, by improvement of land, encouragement of agriculture, +and thereby increasing the number of their people, without which any +country, however blessed by Nature, must continue poor. + +The eighth, is the residence of the Princes, or chief administrators of +the civil power. + +The ninth, is the concourse of foreigners for education, curiosity or +pleasure, or as to a general mart of trade. + +The tenth, is by disposing all offices of honour, profit or trust, only +to the natives, or at least with very few exceptions, where strangers +have long inhabited the country, and are supposed to understand, and +regard the interest of it as their own. + +The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and profits of employments, +are spent in the country which produced them, and not in another, the +former of which will certainly happen, where the love of our native +country prevails. + +The twelfth, is by the public revenues being all spent and employed at +home, except on the occasions of a foreign war. + +The thirteenth, is where the people are not obliged, unless they find it +for their own interest, or conveniency, to receive any monies, except of +their own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of all civilized +nations. + +The fourteenth, is a disposition of the people of a country to wear +their own manufactures, and import as few incitements to luxury, either +in clothes, furniture, food or drink, as they possibly can live +conveniently without. + +There are many other causes of a Nation's thriving, which I cannot at +present recollect; but without advantage from at least some of these, +after turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from +whence our wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better +informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to +Ireland of these causes, or of the effects and consequences. + +It is not my intention to complain, but barely to relate facts, and the +matter is not of small importance. For it is allowed, that a man who +lives in a solitary house far from help, is not wise in endeavouring to +acquire in the neighbourhood, the reputation of being rich, because +those who come for gold, will go off with pewter and brass, rather than +return empty; and in the common practice of the world, those who possess +most wealth, make the least parade, which they leave to others, who have +nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their faces on the Exchange. + +As to the first cause of a Nation's riches, being the fertility of the +soil, as well as temperature of climate, we have no reason to complain; +for although the quantity of unprofitable land in this Kingdom, +reckoning bog, and rock, and barren mountain, be double in proportion to +what it is in England, yet the native productions which both Kingdoms +deal in, are very near on equality in point of goodness, and might with +the same encouragement be as well manufactured. I except mines and +minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of +skill and industry. + +In the second, which is the industry of the people, our misfortune is +not altogether owing to our own fault, but to a million of +discouragements. + +The conveniency of ports and havens which Nature bestowed us so +liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful prospect to a man +shut up in a dungeon. + +As to shipping of its own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that +of all the excellent timber cut down within these fifty or sixty years, +it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the benefit of one +valuable house to dwell in, or one ship to trade with. + +Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient +or modern story, which was denied the liberty of exporting their native +commodities and manufactures wherever they pleased, except to countries +at war with their own Prince or State, yet this by the superiority of +mere power is refused us in the most momentous parts of commerce,[49] +besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down +upon us, and rigorously executed,[50] and a thousand other unexampled +circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto +the rest. + +It is too well known that we are forced to obey some laws we never +consented to, which is a condition I must not call by its true +uncontroverted name for fear of my Lord Chief Justice Whitshed's ghost +with his _Libertas et natale solum_, written as a motto on his coach, as +it stood at the door of the court, while he was perjuring himself to +betray both.[51] Thus, we are in the condition of patients who have +physic sent them by doctors at a distance, strangers to their +constitution, and the nature of their disease: And thus, we are forced +to pay five hundred _per cent._ to divide our properties, in all which +we have likewise the honour to be distinguished from the whole race of +mankind. + +As to improvement of land, those few who attempt that or planting, +through covetousness or want of skill, generally leave things worse than +they were, neither succeeding in trees nor hedges, and by running into +the fancy of grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every day +depopulating the country. + +We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the +Viceroy is generally absent four-fifths of his time in the Government. + +No strangers from other countries make this a part of their travels, +where they can expect to see nothing but scenes of misery and +desolation.[52] + +Those who have the misfortune to be born here, have the least title to +any considerable employment to which they are seldom preferred, but upon +a political consideration. + +One third part of the rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with +the profit of employments, pensions, appeals, journeys of pleasure or +health, education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities, +remittances at pleasure, the pay of all superior officers in the army +and other incidents, will amount to a full half of the income of the +whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England. + +We are denied the liberty of coining gold, silver, or even copper. In +the Isle of Man, they coin their own silver, every petty Prince, vassal +to the Emperor, can coin what money he pleaseth.[53] And in this as in +most of the articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other +States or Monarchies that were ever known in the world. + +As to the last, or fourteenth article, we take special care to act +diametrically contrary to it in the whole course of our lives. Both +sexes, but especially the women, despise and abhor to wear any of their +own manufactures, even those which are better made than in other +countries, particularly a sort of silk plaid, through which the workmen +are forced to run a sort of gold thread that it may pass for Indian. +Even ale and potatoes in great quantity are imported from England as +well as corn, and our foreign trade is little more than importation of +French wine, for which I am told we pay ready money. + +Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be +glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a rich and +flourishing people, without liberty, trade, manufactures, inhabitants, +money, or the privilege of coining; without industry, labour or +improvement of lands, and with more than half of the rent and profits of +the whole Kingdom, annually exported, for which we receive not a single +farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the +linen of the North, a trade casual, corrupted, and at mercy, and some +butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every law of +Nature and Reason, like the thorn at Glastonbury, that blossoms in the +midst of Winter. + +Let the worthy Commissioners who come from England ride round the +Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the face of the natives, the +improvement of the land, the thriving numerous plantations, the noble +woods, the abundance and vicinity of country seats, the commodious +farmers houses and barns, the towns and villages, where everybody is +busy and thriving with all kind of manufactures, the shops full of goods +wrought to perfection, and filled with customers, the comfortable diet +and dress, and dwellings of the people, the vast numbers of ships in our +harbours and docks, and shipwrights in our sea-port towns. The roads +crowded with carriers laden with rich manufactures, the perpetual +concourse to and fro of pompous equipages. + +With what envy and admiration would these gentlemen return from so +delightful a progress? What glorious reports would they make when they +went back to England? + +But my heart is too heavy to continue this journey[54] longer, for it is +manifest that whatever stranger took such a journey, would be apt to +think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland,[55] rather than in a +country so favoured by Nature as ours, both in fruitfulness of soil, and +temperature of climate. The miserable dress, and diet, and dwelling of +the people. The general desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old +seats of the nobility and gentry all in ruins, and no new ones in their +stead. The families of farmers who pay great rents, living in filth and +nastiness upon butter-milk and potatoes, without a shoe or stocking to +their feet, or a house so convenient as an English hog-sty to receive +them.[56] These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English +spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the language, and +returns back to his own country, whither he finds all our wealth +transmitted. + + _Nostrâ miseriâ magnus es._ + +There is not one argument used to prove the riches of Ireland, which is +not a logical demonstration of its poverty. The rise of our rents is +squeezed out of the very blood and vitals, and clothes, and dwellings of +the tenants who live worse than English beggars. The lowness of +interest, in all other countries a sign of wealth, is in us a proof of +misery, there being no trade to employ any borrower. Hence alone comes +the dearness of land, since the savers have no other way to lay out +their money. Hence the dearness of necessaries for life, because the +tenants cannot afford to pay such extravagant rates for land (which they +must take, or go a-begging) without raising the price of cattle, and of +corn, although they should live upon chaff. Hence our increase of +buildings in this City, because workmen have nothing to do but employ +one another, and one half of them are infallibly undone. Hence the daily +increase of bankers, who may be a necessary evil in a trading country, +but so ruinous in ours, who for their private advantage have sent away +all our silver, and one third of our gold, so that within three years +past the running cash of the Nation, which was about five hundred +thousand pounds, is now less than two, and must daily diminish unless we +have liberty to coin, as well as that important Kingdom the Isle of Man, +and the meanest Prince in the German Empire, as I before observed.[57] + +I have sometimes thought, that this paradox of the Kingdom growing rich, +is chiefly owing to those worthy gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some +custom-house officers, birds of passage, oppressive thrifty squires, and +a few others that shall be nameless, are the only thriving people among +us: And I have often wished that a law were enacted to hang up half a +dozen bankers every year, and thereby interpose at least some short +delay, to the further ruin of Ireland. + +"Ye are idle, ye are idle," answered Pharaoh to the Israelites, when +they complained to his Majesty, that they were forced to make bricks +without straw. + +England enjoys every one of these advantages for enriching a Nation, +which I have above enumerated, and into the bargain, a good million +returned to them every year without labour or hazard, or one farthing +value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue +the payment, I am not under the least concern. One thing I know, that +_when the hen is starved to death, there will be no more golden eggs_. + +I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtile piece +of malice, that, because there may be a dozen families in this Town, +able to entertain their English friends in a generous manner at their +tables, their guests upon their return to England, shall report that we +wallow in riches and luxury. + +Yet I confess I have known an hospital, where all the household officers +grew rich, while the poor for whose sake it was built, were almost +starving for want of food and raiment. + +To conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, its wealth +and prosperity must be owing to certain causes, that are yet concealed +from the whole race of mankind, and the effects are equally invisible. +We need not wonder at strangers when they deliver such paradoxes, but a +native and inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same verdict, must +be either ignorant to stupidity, or a man-pleaser at the expense of all +honour, conscience and truth. + + + + +THE STORY + +OF THE + +INJURED LADY. + +WRITTEN BY HERSELF. + +AND + +THE ANSWER TO THE + +INJURED LADY. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift represents + England, Scotland, and Ireland--England being the gentleman and + Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is affecting an + honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents her + rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She + expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his + treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some + searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards + Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the story. + + In "The Answer to the Injured Lady" which follows "The Story," + Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her + future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates what + he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but formulates + it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her that + she should look to it that her "family and tenants have no + dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old + agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have the + same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you + should both agree to"; that she shall be free to carry her goods to + any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to whom + she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an agreement + with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If she + will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are + gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in her + resentment. + + * * * * * + + The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the + earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated with + that given by Faulkner. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +STORY + +OF THE + +INJURED LADY. + + +Being a true PICTURE of SCOTCH Perfidy, IRISH +Poverty, and ENGLISH Partiality. + +WITH + +LETTERS and POEMS + +Never before Printed. + + * * * * * + +By the Rev. Dr. SWIFT, D. S. P. D. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_, + +Printed for M. COOPER, at the _Globe_ in + +_Pater-Noster-Row_. MDCCXLVI. + +[Price One Shilling.] + + + + +SIR, + +Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a +true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to +credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men. + +A gentleman[58] in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and +myself;[59] and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three +houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a +river,[60] and from my rival's by an old broken wall.[61] But before I +enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will +give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself. + +As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad +features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty +ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her +natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the +itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue, +honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her +education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common conversation. +To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by +pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who is now so fond +of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his +face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her house is frequented by a +company of rogues and thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to +rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of +mischief.[62] She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals, +and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force +him to pay for the trouble she was at. Once, attended with a crew of +ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy, +and then set it on fire. At the same time she told so many lies among +his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor _Steward_ +was knocked on the head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the +Country, that she ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she +is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and +virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the +Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there +ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons. + +I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with +modesty and truth. + +I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I +became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair enough, +and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see me now +will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for +besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as +well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in. I might +add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now +turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been +the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64] + +Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or +fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish, +I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and +his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue +were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that +causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I was +undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins, +half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and protestations +of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon began to play the +usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all occasions to shew +his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he found fault with +the government of my family, which I grant, was none of the best, +consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that time, I knew +but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore, I agreed to +fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that his +steward[65] should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an +under-steward,[66] who should receive his directions. My lover proceeded +further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and supplying me +with others from his own house. These grew so domineering and +unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but +perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my +lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling +out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their stead +with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had no other +way to provide for.[67] Overcome by love and to avoid noise and +contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in vain to +resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new servants, +and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table with the +best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land, and +treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as their +master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I had not +a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were of his +choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over the +greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he began +to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he would +answer, that I was an old dependant upon his family, whom he had placed +on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly, +neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall +never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with +all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast +obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for +my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times +more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for +him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea: +That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able, +to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he expected +his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must maintain a +parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries to an +overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom he +would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me the +better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to +carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll +on both sides, and then sell them at half value.[68] But because we were +a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch anything +we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to employ his own +folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his market just in their +naturals;[69] the milk immediately from the cow without making it into +cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass as it is mowed; the +wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring the fruit upon the +branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after our filthy hands: +That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and cheese to eat by the +way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings, he should forfeit his +whole parcel: And because a company of rogues usually plied on the river +between us, who often robbed my tenants of their goods and boats, he +ordered a waterman of his to guard them, whose manner was to be out of +the way until the poor wretches were plundered; then to overtake the +thieves, and seize all as lawful prize to his master and himself. It +would be endless to repeat a hundred other hardships he hath put upon +me; but it is a general rule, that whenever he imagines the smallest +advantage will redound to one of his footboys by any new oppression of +me and my whole family and estate, he never disputeth it a moment. All +this hath rendered me so very insignificant and contemptible at home, +that some servants to whom I pay the greatest wages, and many tenants +who have the most beneficial leases, are gone over to live with him; yet +I am bound to continue their wages, and pay their rents;[70] by which +means one third part of my whole income is spent on his estate, and +above another third by his tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so +sunk and impoverished, that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my +quality, they can hardly find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the +common necessaries of life for themselves. + +Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received +intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing +overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some +misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened +to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having either +acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as tame a +fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but hearing at +the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private proposals to +join with me against him, and doubting, with very good reason, that I +would readily accept them, he seemed very much disconcerted.[71] This I +thought was a proper occasion to shew some great example of generosity +and love, and so, without further consideration, I sent him word, that +hearing there was likely to be a quarrel between him and my rival; +notwithstanding all that had passed, and without binding him to any +conditions in my own favour, I would stand by him against her and all +the world, while I had a penny in my purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This +message was subscribed by all my chief tenants; and proved so powerful, +that my rival immediately grew more tractable upon it. The result of +which was, that there is now a treaty of marriage concluded between +them,[72] the wedding clothes are bought, and nothing remaineth but to +perform the ceremony, which is put off for some days, because they +design it to be a public wedding. And to reward my love, constancy, and +generosity, he hath bestowed on me the office of being sempstress to his +grooms and footmen, which I am forced to accept or starve.[73] Yet, in +the midst of this my situation, I cannot but have some pity for this +deluded man, to cast himself away on an infamous creature, who, whatever +she pretendeth, I can prove, would at this very minute rather be a whore +to a certain great man, that shall be nameless, if she might have her +will.[74] For my part, I think, and so doth all the country too, that +the man is possessed; at least none of us are able to imagine what he +can possibly see in her, unless she hath bewitched him, or given him +some powder. + +I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness, +that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I +could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads higher, +would be glad to accept.[75] But alas! I never had any such wicked +thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to be free +from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he will let me +manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for which I will +undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year, much more +considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he must needs +find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my tenants so +dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves. There is one +imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think unsufferable, and +will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether it be so or not. I +told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to have the same +steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate my family and +estate by the same method with him, which he then shewed me writ down +in form, and I approved of.[76] Now, the turn he thinks fit to give this +compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends that whatever +orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in his family, he +may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without asking my advice, +or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a lease without his +consent, or give any directions for the well-governing of my family, but +what he countermands whenever he pleaseth. This leaveth me at such +confusion and uncertainty, that my servants know not when to obey me, +and my tenants, although many of them be very well inclined, seem quite +at a loss. + +But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I +hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth +upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice what +measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour, to +protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities I +lie under from that unkind, inconstant man. + + + + +THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY. + + +MADAM, + +I have received your Ladyship's letter, and carefully considered every +part of it, and shall give you my opinion how you ought to proceed for +your own security. But first, I must beg leave to tell your Ladyship, +that you were guilty of an unpardonable weakness t'other day in making +that offer to your lover, of standing by him in any quarrel he might +have with your rival. You know very well, that she began to apprehend he +had designs of using her as he had done you; and common prudence might +have directed you rather to have entered into some measures with her for +joining against him, until he might at least be brought to some +reasonable terms: But your invincible hatred to that lady hath carried +your resentments so high, as to be the cause of your ruin; yet, if you +please to consider, this aversion of yours began a good while before she +became your rival, and was taken up by you and your family in a sort of +compliment to your lover, who formerly had a great abhorrence for her. +It is true, since that time you have suffered very much by her +encroachments upon your estate,[77] but she never pretended to govern or +direct you: And now you have drawn a new enemy upon yourself; for I +think you may count upon all the ill offices she can possibly do you by +her credit with her husband; whereas, if, instead of openly declaring +against her without any provocation, you had but sat still awhile, and +said nothing, that gentleman would have lessened his severity to you out +of perfect fear. This weakness of yours, you call generosity; but I +doubt there was more in the matter. In short, Madam, I have good +reasons to think you were betrayed to it by the pernicious counsels of +some about you: For to my certain knowledge, several of your tenants and +servants, to whom you have been very kind, are as arrant rascals as any +in the Country. I cannot but observe what a mighty difference there is +in one particular between your Ladyship and your rival. Having yielded +up your person, you thought nothing else worth defending, and therefore +you will not now insist upon those very conditions for which you yielded +at first. But your Ladyship cannot be ignorant, that some years since +your rival did the same thing, and upon no conditions at all; nay, this +gentleman kept her as a miss, and yet made her pay for her diet and +lodging.[78] But, it being at a time when he had no steward, and his +family out of order, she stole away, and hath now got the trick very +well known among the women of the town, to grant a man the favour over +night and the next day have the impudence to deny it to his face. But, +it is too late to reproach you with any former oversights, which cannot +now be rectified. I know the matters of fact as you relate them are true +and fairly represented. My advice therefore is this. Get your tenants +together as soon as you conveniently can, and make them agree to the +following resolutions. + +_First_, That your family and tenants have no dependence upon the said +gentleman, further than by the old agreement, which obligeth you to have +the same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you +should both agree to.[79] + +_Secondly_, That you will not carry your goods to the market of his +town, unless you please, nor be hindered from carrying them anywhere +else.[80] + +_Thirdly_, That the servants you pay wages to shall live at home, or +forfeit their places.[81] + +_Fourthly_, That whatever lease you make to a tenant, it shall not be in +his power to break it.[82] + +If he will agree to these articles, I advise you to contribute as +largely as you can to all charges of Parish and County. + +I can assure you, several of that gentleman's ablest tenants and +servants are against his severe usage of you, and would be glad of an +occasion to convince the rest of their error, if you will not be wanting +to yourself. + +If the gentleman refuses these just and reasonable offers, pray let me +know it, and perhaps I may think of something else that will be more +effectual. + + I am, + Madam, + Your Ladyship's, etc. + + + + +AN + +ANSWER TO A PAPER, + +CALLED + +"A MEMORIAL + +OF THE + +POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND." + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1728. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This is, perhaps, as trenchant and fine a piece of writing as is to + be found in any of those pamphlets Swift wrote for the alleviation + of the miserable condition of Ireland. The author of the "Memorial" + to which Swift made this passionate reply was Sir John Browne, and + the purport of his writing may be easily gathered from Swift's + animadversions. + + * * * * * + + The text here given is based on that printed by Faulkner in 1735 in + the fourth volume of his collected edition of Swift's works. Scott + reprints Browne's "Memorial" and his reply to the present "Answer," + but they are of little importance and in no way assist us in our + appreciation of Swift's work. The date of Swift's answer is given + by Faulkner as "March 25th, 1728," which year Scott misprints 1738, + evidently a printer's error, though the arrangement of the order of + the pamphlets in his edition leaves much to be desired. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN ANSWER TO A PAPER, CALLED + +"A MEMORIAL + +OF THE + +POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND." + + +I received a paper from you, wherever you are, printed without any name +of author or printer, and sent, I suppose, to me among others, without +any particular distinction. It contains a complaint of the dearness of +corn, and some schemes of making it cheaper which I cannot approve of. + +But pray permit me, before I go further, to give you a short history of +the steps by which we arrived at this hopeful situation. + +It was, indeed, the shameful practice of too many Irish farmers, to wear +out their ground with ploughing; while, either through poverty, +laziness, or ignorance, they neither took care to manure it as they +ought, nor gave time to any part of the land to recover itself; and, +when their leases are near expiring, being assured that their landlords +would not renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made such a havock, +that many landlords were considerable sufferers by it. + +This gave birth to that abominable race of graziers, who, upon +expiration of the farmer's leases were ready to engross great quantities +of land; and the gentlemen having been before often ill paid, and their +land worn out of heart, were too easily tempted, when a rich grazier +made him an offer to take all his land, and give his security for +payment. Thus a vast tract of land, where twenty or thirty farmers +lived, together with their cottagers and labourers in their several +cabins, became all desolate, and easily managed by one or two herdsmen +and their boys; whereby the master-grazier, with little trouble, seized +to himself the livelihood of a hundred people. + +It must be confessed, that the farmers were justly punished for their +knavery, brutality, and folly. But neither are the squires and landlords +to be excused; for to them is owing the depopulating of the country, the +vast number of beggars, and the ruin of those few sorry improvements we +had. + +That farmers should be limited in ploughing is very reasonable, and +practised in England, and might have easily been done here by penal +clauses in their leases; but to deprive them, in a manner, altogether +from tilling their lands, was a most stupid want of thinking. + +Had the farmers been confined to plough a certain quantity of land, with +a penalty of ten pounds an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther +limited for the three or four last years of their leases, all this evil +had been prevented; the nation would have saved a million of money, and +been more populous by above two hundred thousand souls. + +For a people, denied the benefit of trade, to manage their lands in such +a manner as to produce nothing but what they are forbidden to trade +with,[83] or only such things as they can neither export nor manufacture +to advantage, is an absurdity that a wild Indian would be ashamed of; +especially when we add, that we are content to purchase this hopeful +commerce, by sending to foreign markets for our daily bread. + +The grazier's employment is to feed great flocks of sheep, or black +cattle, or both. With regard to sheep, as folly is usually accompanied +with perverseness, so it is here. There is something so monstrous to +deal in a commodity (further than for our own use) which we are not +allowed to export manufactured, nor even unmanufactured, but to one +certain country, and only to some few ports in that country;[84] there +is, I say, something so sottish, that it wants a name in our language +to express it by: and the good of it is, that the more sheep we have, +the fewer human creatures are left to wear the wool, or eat the flesh. +Ajax was mad, when he mistook a flock of sheep for his enemies; but we +shall never be sober, until we have the same way of thinking. + +The other part of the grazier's business is, what we call black-cattle, +producing hides, tallow, and beef for exportation: all which are good +and useful commodities, if rightly managed. But it seems, the greatest +part of the hides are sent out raw, for want of bark to tan them; and +that want will daily grow stronger; for I doubt the new project of +tanning without it is at an end. Our beef, I am afraid, still continues +scandalous in foreign markets, for the old reasons. But our tallow, for +anything I know, may be good. However, to bestow the whole kingdom on +beef and mutton, and thereby drive out half the people who should eat +their share, and force the rest to send sometimes as far as Egypt for +bread to eat with it, is a most peculiar and distinguished piece of +public economy, of which I have no comprehension. + +I know very well that our ancestors the Scythians, and their posterity +our kinsmen the Tartars, lived upon the blood, and milk, and raw flesh +of their cattle, without one grain of corn; but I confess myself so +degenerate, that I am not easy without bread to my victuals. + +What amazed me for a week or two, was to see, in this prodigious plenty +of cattle, and dearth of human creatures, and want of bread, as well as +money to buy it, that all kind of flesh-meat should be monstrously dear, +beyond what was ever known in this kingdom. I thought it a defect in the +laws, that there was not some regulation in the price of flesh, as well +as bread: but I imagine myself to have guessed out the reason: In short, +I am apt to think that the whole kingdom is overstocked with cattle, +both black and white; and as it is observed, that the poor Irish have a +vanity to be rather owners of two lean cows, than one fat, although +with double the charge of grazing, and but half the quantity of milk; so +I conceive it much more difficult at present to find a fat bullock or +wether, than it would be if half of both were fairly knocked on the +head: for I am assured that the district in the several markets called +Carrion Row is as reasonable as the poor can desire; only the +circumstance of money to purchase it, and of trade, or labour, to +purchase that money, are indeed wholly wanting. + +Now, sir, to return more particularly to you and your memorial. + +A hundred thousand barrels of wheat, you say, should be imported hither; +and ten thousand pounds premium to the importers. Have you looked into +the purse of the nation? I am no commissioner of the treasury; but am +well assured that the whole running cash would not supply you with a sum +to purchase so much corn, which, only at twenty shillings a barrel, will +be a hundred thousand pounds; and ten thousand more for the premiums. +But you will traffic for your corn with other goods: and where are those +goods? if you had them, they are all engaged to pay the rents of +absentees, and other occasions in London, besides a huge balance of +trade this year against us. Will foreigners take our bankers' papers? I +suppose they will value it at little more than so much a quire. Where +are these rich farmers and engrossers of corn, in so bad a year, and so +little sowing? + +You are in pain of two shillings premium, and forget the twenty +shillings for the price; find me out the latter, and I will engage for +the former. + +Your scheme for a tax for raising such a sum is all visionary, and owing +to a great want of knowledge in the _miserable state_ of this nation. +Tea, coffee, sugar, spices, wine, and foreign clothes, are the +particulars you mention upon which this tax should be raised. I will +allow the two first; because they are unwholesome; and the last, because +I should be glad if they were all burned: but I beg you will leave us +our wine to make us a while forget our misery; or give your tenants +leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a secret, which I +learned many years ago from the commissioners of the customs in London: +they said, when any commodity appeared to be taxed above a moderate +rate, the consequence was, to lessen that branch of the revenue by one +half; and one of those gentlemen pleasantly told me, that the mistake of +parliaments, on such occasions, was owing to an error of computing two +and two to make four; whereas, in the business of laying impositions, +two and two never made more than one; which happens by lessening the +import, and the strong temptation of running such goods as paid high +duties. At least in this kingdom, although the women are as vain and +extravagant as their lovers or their husbands can deserve, and the men +are fond enough of wine; yet the number of both who can afford such +expenses is so small, that the major part must refuse gratifying +themselves, and the duties will rather be lessened than increased. But, +allowing no force in this argument; yet so preternatural a sum as one +hundred and ten thousand pounds, raised all on a sudden, (for there is +no dallying with hunger,) is just in proportion with raising a million +and a half in England; which, as things now stand, would probably bring +that opulent kingdom under some difficulties. + +You are concerned how strange and surprising it would be in foreign +parts to hear that the poor were starving in a RICH country, +&c. Are you in earnest? Is Ireland the rich country you mean? Or are you +insulting our poverty? Were you ever out of Ireland? Or were you ever in +it till of late? You may probably have a good employment, and are saving +all you can to purchase a good estate in England. But by talking so +familiarly of one hundred and ten thousand pounds, by a tax upon a few +commodities, it is plain you are either naturally or affectedly ignorant +of our present condition: or else you would know and allow, that such a +sum is not to be raised here, without a general excise; since, in +proportion to our wealth, we pay already in taxes more than England ever +did in the height of the war. And when you have brought over your corn, +who will be the buyers? Most certainly not the poor, who will not be +able to purchase the twentieth part of it. + +Sir, upon the whole, your paper is a very crude piece, liable to more +objections than there are lines; but I think your meaning is good, and +so far you are pardonable. + +If you will propose a general contribution in supporting the poor in +potatoes and butter-milk, till the new corn comes in, perhaps you may +succeed better, because the thing at least is possible; and I think if +our brethren in England would contribute upon this emergency, out of the +million they gain from us every year, they would do a piece of justice +as well as charity. In the mean time, go and preach to your own tenants, +to fall to the plough as fast as they can; and prevail with your +neighbouring squires to do the same with theirs; or else die with the +guilt of having driven away half the inhabitants, and starving the rest. +For as to your scheme of raising one hundred and ten thousand pounds, it +is as vain as that of Rabelais; which was, to squeeze out wind from the +posteriors of a dead ass. + +But why all this concern for the poor? We want them not, as the country +is now managed; they may follow thousands of their leaders, and seek +their bread abroad. Where the plough has no work, one family can do the +business of fifty, and you may send away the other forty-nine. An +admirable piece of husbandry, never known or practised by the wisest +nations, who erroneously thought people to be the riches of a country! + +If so wretched a state of things would allow it, methinks I could have a +malicious pleasure, after all the warning I have in vain given the +public, at my own peril, for several years past, to see the consequences +and events answering in every particular. I pretend to no sagacity: what +I writ was little more than what I had discoursed to several persons, +who were generally of my opinion; and it was obvious to every common +understanding, that such effects must needs follow from such causes;--a +fair issue of things begun upon party rage, while some sacrificed the +public to fury, and others to ambition: while a spirit of faction and +oppression reigned in every part of the country, where gentlemen, +instead of consulting the ease of their tenants, or cultivating their +lands, were worrying one another upon points of Whig and Tory, of High +Church and Low Church; which no more concerned them than the long and +famous controversy of strops for razors: while agriculture was wholly +discouraged, and consequently half the farmers and labourers, and poorer +tradesmen, forced to beggary or banishment. "Wisdom crieth in the +streets: Because I have called on ye; I have stretched out my hand, and +no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all my counsels, and would +none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity, and mock when +your fear cometh." + +I have now done with your Memorial, and freely excuse your mistakes, +since you appear to write as a stranger, and as of a country which is +left at liberty to enjoy the benefits of nature, and to make the best of +those advantages which God hath given it, in soil, climate, and +situation. + +But having lately sent out a paper, entitled, _A Short View of the State +of Ireland_; and hearing of an objection, that some people think I have +treated the memory of the late Lord Chief Justice Whitshed with an +appearance of severity; since I may not probably have another +opportunity of explaining myself in that particular, I choose to do it +here. Laying it, therefore, down for a postulatum, which I suppose will +be universally granted, that no little creature of so mean a birth and +genius, had ever the honour to be a greater enemy to his country, and to +all kinds of virtue, than HE, I answer thus; Whether there be two +different goddesses called Fame, as some authors contend, or only one +goddess sounding two different trumpets, it is certain that people +distinguished for their villainy have as good a title for a blast from +the proper trumpet, as those who are most renowned for their virtues +have from the other; and have equal reason to complain if it be refused +them. And accordingly the names of the most celebrated profligates have +been faithfully transmitted down to posterity. And although the person +here understood acted his part in an obscure corner of the world, yet +his talents might have shone with lustre enough in the noblest scene. + +As to my naming a person dead, the plain honest reason is the best. He +was armed with power, guilt, and will to do mischief, even where he was +not provoked, as appeared by his prosecuting two printers,[85] one to +death, and both to ruin, who had neither offended God nor the King, nor +him nor the public. + +What an encouragement to vice is this! If an ill man be alive, and in +power, we dare not attack him; and if he be weary of the world, or of +his own villainies, he has nothing to do but die, and then his +reputation is safe. For these excellent casuists know just Latin enough +to have heard a most foolish precept, that _de mortuis nil nisi bonum_; +so that if Socrates, and Anytus his accuser, had happened to die +together, the charity of survivors must either have obliged them to hold +their peace, or to fix the same character on both. The only crime of +charging the dead is, when the least doubt remains whether the +accusation be true; but when men are openly abandoned, and lost to all +shame, they have no reason to think it hard if their memory be +reproached. Whoever reports, or otherwise publisheth, any thing which it +is possible may be false, that man is a slanderer; _hic niger est, hunc +tu, Romane, caveto_. Even the least misrepresentation, or aggravation of +facts, deserves the same censure, in some degree, but in this case, I am +quite deceived if my error hath not been on the side of extenuation. + +I have now present before me the idea of some persons (I know not in +what part of the world) who spend every moment of their lives, and every +turn of their thoughts, while they are awake, (and probably of their +dreams while they sleep,) in the most detestable actions and designs; +who delight in mischief, scandal, and obloquy, with the hatred and +contempt of all mankind against them, but chiefly of those among their +own party and their own family; such whose odious qualities rival each +other for perfection: avarice, brutality, faction, pride, malice, +treachery, noise, impudence, dullness, ignorance, vanity, and revenge, +contending every moment for superiority in their breasts. Such creatures +are not to be reformed, neither is it prudence or safety to attempt a +reformation. Yet, although their memories will rot, there may be some +benefit for their survivors to smell it while it is rotting. + + I am, Sir, + Your humble servant, + A. B. + + Dublin, + March 25th, 1728. + + + + +ANSWER + +TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN + +PERSONS.[86] + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + + + +ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS.[87] + + +GENTLEMEN, + +I am inclined to think that I received a letter from you two, last +summer, directed to Dublin, while I was in the country, whither it was +sent me; and I ordered an answer to it to be printed, but it seems it +had little effect, and I suppose this will have not much more. But the +heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, +and their eyes they have closed. And, gentlemen, I am to tell you +another thing: That the world is so regardless of what we write for the +public good, that after we have delivered our thoughts, without any +prospect of advantage, or of reputation, which latter is not to be had +but by subscribing our names, we cannot prevail upon a printer to be at +the charge of sending it into the world, unless we will be at all or +half the expense; and although we are willing enough to bestow our +labours, we think it unreasonable to be out of pocket; because it +probably may not consist with the situation of our affairs. + +I do very much approve your good intentions, and in a great measure your +manner of declaring them; and I do imagine you intended that the world +should not only know your sentiments, but my answer, which I shall +impartially give. + +That great prelate, to whose care you directed your letter, sent it to +me this morning;[88] and I begin my answer to-night, not knowing what +interruption I may meet with. + +I have ordered your letter to be printed, as it ought to be, along with +my answer; because I conceive it will be more acceptable and informing +to the kingdom. + +I shall therefore now go on to answer your letter in all manner of +sincerity. + +Although your letter be directed to me, yet I take myself to be only an +imaginary person; for, although I conjecture I had formerly one from +you, yet I never answered it otherwise than in print; neither was I at a +loss to know the reasons why so many people of this kingdom were +transporting themselves to America. And if this encouragement were owing +to a pamphlet written, giving an account of the country of Pennsylvania, +to tempt people to go thither, I do declare that those who were tempted, +by such a narrative, to such a journey, were fools, and the author a +most impudent knave; at least, if it be the same pamphlet I saw when it +first came out, which is above 25 years ago, dedicated to Will Penn +(whom by a mistake you call "Sir William Penn,") and styling him, by +authority of the Scripture, "Most Noble Governor." For I was very well +acquainted with Penn, and did, some years after, talk with him upon that +pamphlet, and the impudence of the author, who spoke so many things in +praise of the soil and climate, which Penn himself did absolutely +contradict. For he did assure me that his country wanted the shelter of +mountains, which left it open to the northern winds from Hudson's Bay +and the Frozen Sea, which destroyed all plantations of trees, and was +even pernicious to all common vegetables. But, indeed, New York, +Virginia, and other parts less northward, or more defended by mountains, +are described as excellent countries: but, upon what conditions of +advantage foreigners go thither, I am yet to seek.[89] + +What evils do our people avoid by running from hence, is easier to be +determined. They conceive themselves to live under the tyranny of most +cruel exacting landlords, who have no view further than increasing their +rent-rolls. Secondly, you complain of the want of trade, whereof you +seem not to know the reason. Thirdly, you lament most justly the money +spent by absentees in England. Fourthly, you complain that your linen +manufacture declines. Fifthly, that your tithe-collectors oppress you. +Sixthly, that your children have no hopes of preferment in the church, +the revenue, or the army; to which you might have added the law, and all +civil employments whatsoever. Seventhly, you are undone for silver, and +want all other money. + +I could easily add some other motives, which, to men of spirit, who +desire and expect, and think they deserve the common privileges of human +nature, would be of more force, than any you have yet named, to drive +them out of this kingdom. But, as these speculations may probably not +much affect the brains of your people, I shall choose to let them pass +unmentioned. Yet I cannot but observe, that my very good and virtuous +friend, his excellency Burnet, (_O fili, nec tali indigne parente!_)[90] +hath not hitherto been able to persuade his vassals, by his oratory in +the style of a command, to settle a revenue on his viceroyal person.[91] +I have been likewise assured, that in one of those colonies on the +continent, which nature hath so far favoured, as (by the industry of the +inhabitants) to produce a great quantity of excellent rice, the +stubbornness of the people, who having been told that the world is wide, +took it into their heads that they might sell their own rice at whatever +foreign markets they pleased, and seem, by their practice, very +unwilling to quit that opinion. + +But, to return to my subject: I must confess to you both, that if one +reason of your people's deserting us be, the despair of things growing +better in their own country, I have not one syllable to answer; because +that would be to hope for what is impossible; and so I have been telling +the public these ten years. For there are three events which must +precede any such blessing: First, a liberty of trade; secondly, a share +of preferments in all kinds, to the British natives; and thirdly, a +return of those absentees, who take almost one half of the kingdom's +revenues. As to the first, there is nothing left us but despair; and for +the third, it will never happen till the kingdom hath no money to send +them; for which, in my own particular, I should not be sorry. + +The exaction of landlords hath indeed been a grievance of above twenty +years' standing. But as to what you object about the severe clauses +relating to improvement, the fault lies wholly on the other side: for +the landlords, either by their ignorance, or greediness of making large +rent-rolls, have performed this matter so ill, as we see by experience, +that there is not one tenant in five hundred who hath made any +improvement worth mentioning. For which I appeal to any man who rides +through the kingdom, where little is to be found among the tenants but +beggary and desolation; the cabins of the Scotch themselves, in Ulster, +being as dirty and miserable as those of the wildest Irish. Whereas good +firm penal clauses for improvement, with a tolerable easy rent, and a +reasonable period of time, would, in twenty years, have increased the +rents of Ireland at least a third part in the intrinsic value. + +I am glad to hear you speak with some decency of the clergy, and to +impute the exactions you lament to the managers or farmers of the +tithes. But you entirely mistake the fact; for I defy the most wicked +and most powerful clergymen in the kingdom to oppress the meanest farmer +in the parish; and I likewise defy the same clergyman to prevent himself +from being cheated by the same farmer, whenever that farmer shall be +disposed to be knavish or peevish. For, although the Ulster +tithing-teller is more advantageous to the clergy than any other in the +kingdom, yet the minister can demand no more than his tenth; and where +the corn much exceeds the small tithes, as, except in some districts, I +am told it always doth, he is at the mercy of every stubborn farmer, +especially of those whose sect as well as interest incline them to +opposition. However, I take it that your people bent for America do not +shew the best part of their prudence in making this one part of their +complaint: yet they are so far wise, as not to make the payment of +tithes a scruple of conscience, which is too gross for any Protestant +dissenter, except a Quaker, to pretend. But do your people indeed think, +that if tithes were abolished, or delivered into the hands of the +landlord, after the blessed manner in the Scotch spiritual economy, that +the tenant would sit easier in his rent under the same person, who must +be lord of the soil and of the tithe together? + +I am ready enough to grant, that the oppression of landlords, the utter +ruin of trade, with its necessary consequence the want of money, half +the revenues of the kingdom spent abroad, the continued dearth of three +years, and the strong delusion in your people by false allurement from +America, may be the chief motives of their eagerness after such an +expedition. [But there is likewise another temptation, which is not of +inconsiderable weight; which is their itch of living in a country where +their sect is predominant, and where their eyes and consciences would +not be offended by the stumbling-block of ceremonies, habits, and +spiritual titles.[92]] + +But I was surprised to find that those calamities, whereof we are +innocent, have been sufficient to drive many families out of their +country, who had no reason to complain of oppressive landlords. For, +while I was last year in the northern parts, a person of quality, whose +estate was let above 20 years ago, and then at a very reasonable rent, +some for leases of lives, and some perpetuities, did, in a few months, +purchase eleven of those leases at a very inconsiderable price, although +they were, two years ago, reckoned to pay but half value. From whence it +is manifest, that our present miserable condition, and the dismal +prospect of worse, with other reasons above assigned, are sufficient to +put men upon trying this desperate experiment, of changing the scene +they are in, although landlords should, by a miracle, become less +inhuman. + +There is hardly a scheme proposed for improving the trade of this +kingdom, which doth not manifestly shew the stupidity and ignorance of +the proposer; and I laugh with contempt at those weak wise heads, who +proceed upon general maxims, or advise us to follow the examples of +Holland and England. These empirics talk by rote, without understanding +the constitution of the kingdom: as if a physician, knowing that +exercise contributed much to health, should prescribe to his patient +under a severe fit of the gout, to walk ten miles every morning. The +directions for Ireland are very short and plain; to encourage +agriculture and home consumption, and utterly discard all importations +which are not absolutely necessary for health or life. And how few +necessities, conveniences, or even comforts of life, are denied us by +nature, or not to be attained by labour and industry! Are those +detestable extravagancies of Flanders lace, English cloths of our own +wool, and other goods, Italian or Indian silks, tea, coffee, chocolate, +china-ware, and that profusion of wines, by the knavery of merchants +growing dearer every season, with a hundred unnecessary fopperies, +better known to others than me; are these, I say, fit for us, any more +than for the beggar who could not eat his veal without oranges? Is it +not the highest indignity to human nature, that men should be such +poltroons as to suffer the kingdom and themselves to be undone, by the +vanity, the folly, the pride, and wantonness of their wives,[93] who, +under their present corruptions, seem to be a kind of animal, suffered, +for our sins, to be sent into the world for the destruction of families, +societies, and kingdoms; and whose whole study seems directed to be as +expensive as they possibly can, in every useless article of living; who, +by long practice, can reconcile the most pernicious foreign drugs to +their health and pleasure, provided they are but expensive, as starlings +grow fat with henbane; who contract a robustness by mere practice of +sloth and luxury; who can play deep several hours after midnight, sleep +beyond noon, revel upon Indian poisons, and spend the revenue of a +moderate family to adorn a nauseous, unwholesome living carcase? Let +those few who are not concerned in any part of this accusation, suppose +it unsaid; let the rest take it among them. Gracious God, in His mercy, +look down upon a nation so shamefully besotted! + +If I am possessed of an hundred pounds a year, and by some misfortune it +sinks to fifty, without a possibility of ever being retrieved; does it +remain a question, in such an exigency, what I am to do? Must not I +retrench one-half in every article of expense, or retire to some cheap, +distant part of the country, where necessaries are at half value? + +Is there any mortal who can shew me, under the circumstances we stand +with our neighbours, under their inclinations towards us, under laws +never to be repealed, under the desolation caused by absentees, under +many other circumstances not to be mentioned, that this kingdom can ever +be a nation of trade, or subsist by any other method than that of a +reduced family, by the utmost parsimony, in the manner I have already +prescribed? + +I am tired with letters from many unreasonable, well-meaning people, who +are daily pressing me to deliver my thoughts in this deplorable +juncture, which, upon many others, I have so often done in vain. What +will it import, that half a score people in a coffee-house may happen to +read this paper, and even the majority of those few differ in every +sentiment from me? If the farmer be not allowed to sow his corn; if half +the little money among us be sent to pay rents to Irish absentees, and +the rest for foreign luxury and dress for the women, what will our +charitable dispositions avail, when there is nothing left to be given? +When, contrary to all custom and example, all necessaries of life are so +exorbitant; when money of all kinds was never known to be so scarce, so +that gentlemen of no contemptible estates are forced to retrench in +every article, (except what relates to their wives,) without being able +to shew any bounty to the poor? + + + + +AN ANSWER + +TO SEVERAL LETTERS SENT ME FROM + +UNKNOWN HANDS.[94] + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + +I am very well pleased with the good opinion you express of me; and wish +it were any way in my power to answer your expectations, for the service +of my country. I have carefully read your several schemes and proposals, +which you think should be offered to the Parliament. In answer, I will +assure you, that, in another place, I have known very good proposals +rejected with contempt by public assemblies, merely because they were +offered from without doors; and yours, perhaps, might have the same +fate, especially if handed into the public by me, who am not acquainted +with three members, nor have the least interest with one. My printers +have been twice prosecuted, to my great expense, on account of +discourses I writ for the public service, without the least reflection +on parties or persons; and the success I had in those of the Drapier, +was not owing to my abilities, but to a lucky juncture, when the fuel +was ready for the first hand that would be at the pains of kindling it. +It is true, both those envenomed prosecutions were the workmanship of a +judge, who is now gone _to his own place_.[95] But, let that be as it +will, I am determined, henceforth, never to be the instrument of leaving +an innocent man at the mercy of that bench. + +It is certain there are several particulars relating to this kingdom (I +have mentioned a few of them in one of my Drapier's letters,[96]) which +it were heartily to be wished that the Parliament would take under +their consideration, such as will nowise interfere with England, +otherwise than to its advantage. + +The first I shall mention, is touched at in a letter which I received +from one of you, gentlemen, about the highways; which, indeed, are +almost everywhere scandalously neglected. I know a very rich man in this +city, a true lover and saver of his money, who, being possessed of some +adjacent lands, hath been at great charge in repairing effectually the +roads that lead to them; and has assured me that his lands are thereby +advanced four or five shillings an acre, by which he gets treble +interest. But, generally speaking, all over the kingdom the roads are +deplorable; and, what is more particularly barbarous, there is no sort +of provision made for travellers on foot; no, not near this city, except +in a very few places, and in a most wretched manner: whereas the English +are so particularly careful in this point, that you may travel there an +hundred miles with less inconvenience than one mile here. But, since +this may be thought too great a reformation, I shall only speak of roads +for horses, carriages, and cattle.[97] + +Ireland is, I think, computed to be one-third smaller than England; yet, +by some natural disadvantages, it would not bear quite the same +proportion in value, with the same encouragement. However, it hath so +happened, for many years past, that it never arrived to above +one-eleventh part in point of riches; and of late, by the continual +decrease of trade, and increase of absentees, with other circumstances +not here to be mentioned, hardly to a fifteenth part; at least, if my +calculations be right, which I doubt are a little too favourable on our +side. + +Now, supposing day-labour to be cheaper by one half here than in +England, and our roads, by the nature of our carriages, and the +desolation of our country, to be not worn and beaten above one-eighth +part so much as those of England, which is a very moderate computation, +I do not see why the mending of them would be a greater burthen to this +kingdom than to that. + +There have been, I believe, twenty acts of Parliament, in six or seven +years of the late King, for mending long tracts of impassable ways in +several counties of England, by erecting turnpikes, and receiving +passage-money, in a manner that everybody knows. If what I have advanced +be true, it would be hard to give a reason against the same practice +here; since the necessity is as great, the advantage, in proportion, +perhaps much greater, the materials of stone and gravel as easy to be +found, and the workmanship, at least, twice as cheap. Besides, the work +may be done gradually, with allowances for the poverty of the nation, by +so many perch a year; but with a special care to encourage skill and +diligence, and to prevent fraud in the undertakers, to which we are too +liable, and which are not always confined to those of the meaner sort: +but against these, no doubt, the wisdom of the nation may and will +provide. + +Another evil, which, in my opinion, deserves the public care, is the ill +management of the bogs; the neglect whereof is a much greater mischief +to this kingdom than most people seem to be aware of. + +It is allowed, indeed, by those who are esteemed most skilful in such +matters, that the red, swelling mossy bog, whereof we have so many large +tracts in this island, is not by any means to be fully reduced; but the +skirts, which are covered with a green coat, easily may, being not an +accretion, or annual growth of moss, like the other. + +Now, the landlords are generally too careless that they suffer their +tenants to cut their turf in these skirts, as well as the bog adjoined; +whereby there is yearly lost a considerable quantity of land throughout +the kingdom, never to be recovered. + +But this is not the greatest part of the mischief: for the main bog, +although, perhaps, not reducible to natural soil, yet, by continuing +large, deep, straight canals through the middle, cleaned at proper times +as low as the channel or gravel, would become a secure summer-pasture; +the margins might, with great profit and ornament, be filled with +quickens, birch, and other trees proper for such a soil, and the canals +be convenient for water-carriage of the turf, which is now drawn upon +sled-cars, with great expense, difficulty, and loss of time, by reason +of the many turf-pits scattered irregularly through the bog, wherein +great numbers of cattle are yearly drowned. And it hath been, I confess, +to me a matter of the greatest vexation, as well as wonder, to think how +any landlord could be so absurd as to suffer such havoc to be made. + +All the acts for encouraging plantations of forest-trees are, I am told, +extremely defective;[98] which, with great submission, must have been +owing to a defect of skill in the contrivers of them. In this climate, +by the continual blowing of the west-south-west wind, hardly any tree of +value will come to perfection that is not planted in groves, except very +rarely, and where there is much land-shelter. I have not, indeed, read +all the acts; but, from enquiry, I cannot learn that the planting in +groves is enjoined. And as to the effects of these laws, I have not seen +the least, in many hundred miles riding, except about a very few +gentlemen's houses, and even those with very little skill or success. In +all the rest, the hedges generally miscarry, as well as the larger +slender twigs planted upon the tops of ditches, merely for want of +common skill and care. + +I do not believe that a greater and quicker profit could be made, than +by planting large groves of ash a few feet asunder, which in seven years +would make the best kind of hop-poles, and grow in the same or less time +to a second crop from their roots. + +It would likewise be of great use and beauty in our desert scenes, to +oblige all tenants and cottagers to plant ash or elm before their +cabins, and round their potato-gardens, where cattle either do not or +ought not to come to destroy them. + +The common objections against all this, drawn from the laziness, the +perverseness, or thievish disposition, of the poor native Irish, might +be easily answered, by shewing the true reasons for such accusations, +and how easily those people may be brought to a less savage manner of +life: but my printers have already suffered too much for my +speculations. However, supposing the size of a native's understanding +just equal to that of a dog or horse, I have often seen those two +animals to be civilized by rewards, at least as much as by punishments. + +It would be a noble achievement to abolish the Irish language in this +kingdom, so far at least as to oblige all the natives to speak only +English on every occasion of business, in shops, markets, fairs, and +other places of dealing: yet I am wholly deceived, if this might not be +effectually done in less than half an age, and at a very trifling +expense; for such I look upon a tax to be of only six thousand pounds a +year, to accomplish so great a work.[99] This would, in a great measure, +civilize the most barbarous among them, reconcile them to our customs +and manner of living, and reduce great numbers to the national religion, +whatever kind may then happen to be established. The method is plain and +simple; and although I am too desponding to produce it, yet I could +heartily wish some public thoughts were employed to reduce this +uncultivated people from that idle, savage, beastly, thievish manner of +life, in which they continue sunk to a degree, that it is almost +impossible for a country gentleman to find a servant of human capacity, +or the least tincture of natural honesty; or who does not live among his +own tenants in continual fear of having his plantations destroyed, his +cattle stolen, and his goods pilfered. + +The love, affection, or vanity of living in England, continuing to carry +thither so many wealthy families, the consequences thereof, together +with the utter loss of all trade, except what is detrimental, which hath +forced such great numbers of weavers, and others, to seek their bread in +foreign countries; the unhappy practice of stocking such vast quantities +of land with sheep and other cattle, which reduceth twenty families to +one: these events, I say, have exceedingly depopulated this kingdom for +several years past. I should heartily wish, therefore, under this +miserable dearth of money, that those who are most concerned would think +it advisable to save a hundred thousand pounds a year, which is now sent +out of this kingdom, to feed us with corn. There is not an older or more +uncontroverted maxim in the politics of all wise nations, than that of +encouraging agriculture: and therefore, to what kind of wisdom a +practice so directly contrary among us may be reduced, I am by no means +a judge. If labour and people make the true riches of a nation, what +must be the issue where one part of the people are forced away, and the +other part have nothing to do? + +If it should be thought proper by wiser heads, that his Majesty might be +applied to in a national way, for giving the kingdom leave to coin +halfpence for its own use, I believe no good subject will be under the +least apprehension that such a request could meet with refusal, or the +least delay. Perhaps we are the only kingdom upon earth, or that ever +was or will be upon earth, which did not enjoy that common right of +civil society, under the proper inspection of its prince or legislature, +to coin money of all usual metals for its own occasions. Every petty +prince in Germany, vassal to the Emperor, enjoys this privilege. And I +have seen in this kingdom several silver pieces, with the inscription of +CIVITAS WATERFORD, DROGHEDAGH, and other towns. + + + + +A LETTER + +TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN, + +CONCERNING THE WEAVERS. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The archbishop to whom Swift wrote was Dr. William King, for many + years his friend. King was a fine patriot and had stood out + strongly against the imposition of Wood's Halfpence. In this + letter, so characteristic of Swift's attitude towards the condition + of Ireland, he aims at a practical and immediate relief. The causes + for this condition discussed so ably by Molesworth, Prior and Dobbs + in their various treatises are too academic for him. His "Proposal + for the Universal Use of Irish Manufacture" well illustrates the + kind of practical reform Swift insisted on. Yet the insistence was + more because of the spirit of independence such a course demanded. + To Swift there was no hope for Ireland without a radical change in + the spirit of its people. The change meant the assertion of + manliness, independence, and strength of character. How to attain + these, and how to make the people aware of their power, were always + Swift's aims. All his tracts are assertions of and dilations on + these themes. If the people were but to insist on wearing their own + manufactures, since they were prohibited from exporting them, they + would keep their money in the kingdom. Likewise, if they were to + deny themselves the indulgence in luxuries, they would not have to + send out their money to the countries from which these luxuries + were obtained. There were methods ready at hand, but the practice + in them would result in the cultivation of that respect for + themselves without which a nation is worse than a pauper and lower + than a slave. + + * * * * * + + The text of this edition is based on the original manuscript, and + collated with that of Scott's second edition of Swift's collected + works. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN, CONCERNING THE WEAVERS. + + +MY LORD, + +The corporation of weavers in the woollen manufacture, who have so often +attended your Grace, and called upon me with their schemes and proposals +were with me on Thursday last, when he who spoke for the rest and in the +name of his absent brethren, said, "It was the opinion of the whole +body, that if somewhat were written at this time by an able hand to +persuade the people of the Kingdom to wear their own woollen +manufactures, it might be of good use to the Nation in general, and +preserve many hundreds of their trade from starving." To which I +answered, "That it was hard for any man of common spirit to turn his +thoughts to such speculations, without discovering a resentment which +people are too delicate to bear." For, I will not deny to your Grace, +that I cannot reflect on the singular condition of this Country, +different from all others upon the face of the Earth, without some +emotion, and without often examining as I pass the streets whether those +animals which come in my way with two legs and human faces, clad and +erect, be of the same species with what I have seen very like them in +England, as to the outward shape, but differing in their notions, +natures, and intellectuals, more than any two kinds of brutes in a +forest, which any men of common prudence would immediately discover, by +persuading them to define what they mean by law, liberty, property, +courage, reason, loyalty or religion. + +One thing, my Lord, I am very confident of; that if God Almighty for +our sins would most justly send us a pestilence, whoever should dare to +discover his grief in public for such a visitation, would certainly be +censured for disaffection to the Government. For I solemnly profess, +that I do not know one calamity we have undergone this many years, +whereof any man whose opinions were not in fashion dared to lament +without being openly charged with that imputation. And this is the +harder, because although a mother when she hath corrected her child may +sometimes force it to kiss the rod, yet she will never give that power +to the footboy or the scullion. + +My Lord, there are two things for the people of this Kingdom to +consider. First their present evil condition; and secondly what can be +done in some degree to remedy it. + +I shall not enter into a particular description of our present misery; +It hath been already done in several papers, and very fully in one, +entitled, "A short View of the State of Ireland." It will be enough to +mention the entire want of trade, the Navigation Act executed with the +utmost rigour, the remission of a million every year to England, the +ruinous importation of foreign luxury and vanity, the oppression of +landlords, and discouragement of agriculture. + +Now all these evils are without the possibility of a cure except that of +importations, and to fence against ruinous folly will be always in our +power in spite of the discouragements, mortifications, contempt, hatred, +and oppression we can lie under. But our trade will never mend, the +Navigation Act never be softened, our absentees never return, our +endless foreign payments never be lessened, or our landlords ever be +less exacting. + +All other schemes for preserving this Kingdom from utter ruin are idle +and visionary, consequently drawn from wrong reasoning, and from general +topics which for the same causes that they may be true in all Nations +are certainly false in ours; as I have told the Public often enough, but +with as little effect as what I shall say at present is likely to +produce. + +I am weary of so many abortive projects for the advancement of trade, of +so many crude proposals in letters sent me from unknown hands, of so +many contradictory speculations about raising or sinking the value of +gold and silver: I am not in the least sorry to hear of the great +numbers going to America, though very much so for the causes that drive +them from us, since the uncontrolled maxim, "That people are the riches +of a Nation," is no maxim here under our circumstances. We have neither +[manufactures] to employ them about, nor food to support them. + +If a private gentleman's income be sunk irretrievably for ever from a +hundred pounds to fifty, and that he hath no other method to supply the +deficiency, I desire to know, my Lord, whether such a person hath any +other course to take than to sink half his expenses in every article of +economy, to save himself from ruin and the gaol. Is not this more than +doubly the case of Ireland, where the want of money, the irrecoverable +ruin of trade, with the other evils above mentioned, and many more too +well known and felt, and too numerous or invidious to relate, have been +gradually sinking us for above a dozen years past, to a degree that we +are at least by two thirds in a worse condition than was ever known +since the Revolution? Therefore instead of dreams and projects for the +advancing of trade, we have nothing left but to find out some expedient +whereby we may reduce our expenses to our incomes. + +Yet this procedure, allowed so necessary in all private families, and in +its own nature so easy to be put in practice, may meet with strong +opposition by the cowardly slavish indulgence of the men to the +intolerable pride arrogance vanity and luxury of the women, who strictly +adhering to the rules of modern education seem to employ their whole +stock of invention in contriving new arts of profusion, faster than the +most parsimonious husband can afford; and to compass this work the more +effectually, their universal maxim is to despise and detest everything +of the growth and manufacture of their own country, and most to value +whatever comes from the very remotest parts of the globe. And I am +convinced, that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon, +with a passage to it, our women would wear nothing but what came +directly from thence.[100] + +The prime cost of wine yearly imported to Ireland is valued at thirty +thousand pounds, and the tea (including coffee and chocolate) at five +times that sum. The lace, silks, calicoes, and all other unnecessary +ornaments for women, including English cloths and stuffs, added to the +former articles, make up (to compute grossly), about four hundred +thousand pounds. + +Now, if we should allow the thirty thousand pounds for wine, wherein the +women have their share, and which is all we have to comfort us, and +deduct seventy thousand pounds more for over-reckoning, there would +still remain three hundred thousand pounds, annually spent for +unwholesome drugs, and unnecessary finery. Which prodigious sum would be +wholly saved, and many thousands of our miserable shopkeepers and +manufacturers comfortably supported. + +Let speculative people busy their brains as much as they please, there +is no other way to prevent this Kingdom from sinking for ever than by +utterly renouncing all foreign dress and luxury. + +It is absolutely so in fact that every husband of any fortune in the +Kingdom is nourishing a poisonous, devouring serpent in his bosom with +all the mischief but with none of its wisdom. + +If all the women were clad with the growth of their own Country, they +might still vie with each other in the cause of foppery, and still have +room left to vie with each other, and equally shew their wit and +judgment in deciding upon the variety of Irish stuffs; And if they could +be contented with their native wholesome slops for breakfast, we should +hear no more of their spleen, hysterics, colics, palpitations, and +asthmas. They might still be allowed to ruin each other and their +husbands at play, because the money lost would only circulate among +ourselves. + +My Lord; I freely own it a wild imagination that any words will cure the +sottishness of men, or the vanity of women, but the Kingdom is in a fair +way of producing the most effectual remedy, when there will not be money +left for the common course of buying and selling the very necessaries of +life in our markets, unless we absolutely change the whole method of our +proceedings. + +This Corporation of Weavers in Woollen and Silks, who have so frequently +offered proposals both to your Grace and to me, are the hottest and +coldest generation of men that I have known. About a month ago they +attended your Grace, when I had the honour to be with you, and designed +me then the same favour. They desired you would recommend to your clergy +to wear gowns of Irish stuffs, which might probably spread the example +among all their brethren in the Kingdom, and perhaps among the lawyers +and gentlemen of the University and among the citizens of those +Corporations who appear in gowns on solemn occasions. I then mentioned a +kind of stuff, not above eightpence a yard, which I heard had been +contrived by some of the trade and was very convenient. I desired they +would prepare some of that or any sort of black stuff on a certain day, +when your Grace would appoint as many clergymen as could readily be +found to meet at your Palace, and there give their opinions; and that +your Grace's visitations approaching you could then have the best +opportunity of seeing what could be done in a matter of such +consequence, as they seemed to think, to the woollen manufacture. But +instead of attending, as was expected, they came to me a fortnight +after, with a new proposal; that something should be writ by an +acceptable and able hand to promote in general the wearing of home +manufactures, and their civilities would seem to fix that work upon me. +I asked whether they had prepared the stuffs, as they had promised, and +your Grace expected; but they had not made the least step in the matter, +nor as it appears thought of it more. + +I did some years ago propose to the masters and principal dealers in the +home manufactures of silk and wool, that they should meet together, and +after mature consideration, publish advertisements to the following +purpose.[101] That in order to encourage the wearing of Irish +manufactures in silk and woollen, they gave notice to the nobility and +gentry of the Kingdom, That they the undersigned would enter into bonds, +for themselves and for each other, to sell the several sorts of stuffs, +cloths and silks, made to the best perfection they were able, for +certain fixed prices, and in such a manner, that if a child were sent to +any of their shops, the buyer might be secure of the value and goodness, +and measure of the ware, and lest this might be thought to look like a +monopoly any other member of the trade might be admitted upon such +conditions as should be agreed on. And if any person whatsoever should +complain that he was ill used in the value or goodness of what he +bought, the matter should be examined, the person injured be fully +satisfied, by the whole corporation without delay, and the dishonest +seller be struck out of the society, unless it appeared evidently that +the failure proceeded only from mistake. + +The mortal danger is, that if these dealers could prevail by the +goodness and cheapness of their cloths and stuffs to give a turn to the +principal people of Ireland in favour of their goods, they would relapse +into the knavish practice peculiar to this Kingdom, which is apt to run +through all trades even so low as a common ale-seller, who as soon as he +gets a vogue for his liquor, and outsells his neighbour, thinks his +credit will put off the worst he can buy; till his customers will come +no more. Thus I have known at London in a general mourning, the drapers +dye black all their old damaged goods, and sell them at double rates, +and then complain and petition the Court, that they are ready to starve +by the continuance of the mourning. + +Therefore I say, those principal weavers who would enter in such a +compact as I have mentioned, must give sufficient security against all +such practices; for if once the women can persuade their husbands that +foreign goods besides the finery will be as cheap, and do more service, +our last state will be worse than the first. + +I do not here pretend to digest perfectly the method by which these +principal shopkeepers shall proceed in such a proposal; but my meaning +is clear enough, and cannot reasonably be objected against. + +We have seen what a destructive loss the Kingdom received by the +detestable fraud of the merchants, or Northern weavers, or both, +notwithstanding all the care of the Governers at that Board; the whole +trade with Spain for our linen, when we had an offer of commerce with +the Spaniards, to the value as I am told of three hundred thousand +pounds a year. But while we deal like pedlars, we shall practise like +pedlars; and sacrifice all honesty to the present urging advantage. + +What I have said may serve as an answer to the desire made me by the +Corporation of Weavers, that I would offer my notions to the public. As +to anything further, let them apply themselves to the Parliament in +their next Session. Let them prevail in the House of Commons to grant +one very reasonable request: And I shall think there is still some +spirit left in the Nation, when I read a vote to this purpose: +"Resolved, _nemine contradicente_, That this House will, for the future, +wear no clothes but such as are made of Irish growth, or of Irish +manufacture, nor will permit their wives or children to wear any other; +and that they will to the utmost endeavour to prevail with their +friends, relations, dependants and tenants to follow their example." And +if at the same time they could banish tea and coffee, and china-ware, +out of their families, and force their wives to chat their scandal over +an infusion of sage, or other wholesome domestic vegetables, we might +possibly be able to subsist, and pay our absentees, pensioners, +generals, civil officers, appeals, colliers, temporary travellers, +students, schoolboys, splenetic visitors of Bath, Tunbridge, and Epsom, +with all other smaller drains, by sending our crude unwrought goods to +England, and receiving from thence and all other countries nothing but +what is fully manufactured, and keep a few potatoes and oatmeal for our +own subsistence. + +I have been for a dozen years past wisely prognosticating the present +condition of this Kingdom, which any human creature of common sense +could foretell with as little sagacity as myself. My meaning is that a +consumptive body must needs die, which hath spent all its spirits and +received no nourishment. Yet I am often tempted to pity when I hear the +poor farmer and cottager lamenting the hardness of the times, and +imputing them either to one or two ill seasons, which better climates +than ours are more exposed to, or to the scarcity of silver which to a +Nation of Liberty would be only a slight and temporary inconveniency, to +be removed at a month's warning. + +Ap., 1729. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS, + +OCCASIONED BY READING A PAPER ENTITLED, "THE + +CASE OF THE WOOLLEN MANUFACTURES + +OF DUBLIN," ETC.[102] + + +The paper called "The Case of the Woollen Manufactures," &c. is very +well drawn up. The reasonings of the authors are just, the facts true, +and the consequences natural. But his censure of those seven vile +citizens, who import such a quantity of silk stuffs and woollen cloth +from England, is an hundred times gentler than enemies to their country +deserve; because I think no punishment in this world can be great enough +for them, without immediate repentance and amendment. But, after all, +the writer of that paper hath very lightly touched one point of the +greatest importance, and very poorly answered the main objection, that +the clothiers are defective both in the quality and quantity of their +goods. + +For my own part, when I consider the several societies of handicraftsmen +in all kinds, as well as shopkeepers, in this city, after eighteen +years' experience of their dealings, I am at a loss to know in which of +these societies the most or least honesty is to be found. For instance, +when any trade comes first into my head, upon examination I determine it +exceeds all others in fraud. But after I have considered them all round, +as far as my knowledge or experience reacheth, I am at a loss to +determine, and to save trouble I put them all upon a par. This I chiefly +apply to those societies of men who get their livelihood by the labour +of their hands. For, as to shopkeepers, I cannot deny that I have found +some few honest men among them, taking the word honest in the largest +and most charitable sense. But as to handicraftsmen, although I shall +endeavour to believe it possible to find a fair dealer among their +clans, yet I confess it hath never been once my good fortune to employ +one single workman, who did not cheat me at all times to the utmost of +his power in the materials, the work, and the price. One universal maxim +I have constantly observed among them, that they would rather gain a +shilling by cheating you, than twenty in the honest way of dealing, +although they were sure to lose your custom, as well as that of others, +whom you might probably recommend to them. + +This, I must own, is the natural consequence of poverty and oppression. +These wretched people catch at any thing to save them a minute longer +from drowning. Thus Ireland is the poorest of all civilized countries in +Europe, with every natural advantage to make it one of the richest. + +As to the grand objection, which this writer slubbers over in so +careless a manner, because indeed it was impossible to find a +satisfactory answer, I mean the knavery of our woollen manufacturers in +general, I shall relate some facts, which I had more opportunities to +observe than usually fall in the way of men who are not of the trade. +For some years, the masters and wardens, with many of their principal +workmen and shopkeepers, came often to the Deanery to relate their +grievances, and to desire my advice as well as my assistance. What +reasons might move them to this proceeding, I leave to public +conjecture. The truth is, that the woollen manufacture of this kingdom +sate always nearest my heart. But the greatest difficulty lay in these +perpetual differences between the shopkeepers and workmen they employed. +Ten or a dozen of these latter often came to the Deanery with their +complaints, which I often repeated to the shopkeepers. As, that they +brought their prices too low for a poor weaver to get his bread by; and +instead of ready money for their labour on Saturdays, they gave them +only such a quantity of cloth or stuff, at the highest rate, which the +poor men were often forced to sell one-third below the rate, to supply +their urgent necessities. On the other side, the shopkeepers complained +of idleness, and want of skill, or care, or honesty, in their workmen; +and probably their accusations on both sides were just. + +Whenever the weavers, in a body, came to me for advice, I gave it +freely, that they should contrive some way to bring their goods into +reputation; and give up that abominable principle of endeavouring to +thrive by imposing bad ware at high prices to their customers, whereby +no shopkeeper can reasonably expect to thrive. For, besides the dread of +God's anger, (which is a motive of small force among them,) they may be +sure that no buyer of common sense will return to the same shop where he +was once or twice defrauded. That gentlemen and ladies, when they found +nothing but deceit in the sale of Irish cloths and stuffs, would act as +they ought to do, both in prudence and resentment, in going to those +very bad citizens the writer mentions, and purchase English goods. + +I went farther, and proposed that ten or a dozen of the most substantial +woollen-drapers should join in publishing an advertisement, signed with +their names to the following purpose:--That for the better encouragement +of all gentlemen, &c. the persons undernamed did bind themselves +mutually to sell their several cloths and stuffs, (naming each kind) at +the lowest rate, right merchantable goods, of such a breadth, which they +would warrant to be good according to the several prices; and that if a +child of ten years old were sent with money, and directions what cloth +or stuff to buy, he should not be wronged in any one article. And that +whoever should think himself ill-used in any of the said shops, he +should have his money again from the seller, or upon his refusal, from +the rest of the said subscribers, who, if they found the buyer +discontented with the cloth or stuff, should be obliged to refund the +money; and if the seller refused to repay them, and take his goods +again, should publicly advertise that they would answer for none of his +goods any more. This would be to establish credit, upon which all trade +dependeth. + +I proposed this scheme several times to the corporation of weavers, as +well as to the manufacturers, when they came to apply for my advice at +the Deanery-house. I likewise went to the shops of several +woollen-drapers upon the same errand, but always in vain; for they +perpetually gave me the deaf ear, and avoided entering into discourse +upon that proposal: I suppose, because they thought it was in vain, and +that the spirit of fraud had gotten too deep and universal a possession +to be driven out by any arguments from interest, reason, or conscience. + + + + +THE + +PRESENT MISERABLE STATE + +OF + +IRELAND. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The following tract was taken by Sir Walter Scott "from a little + miscellaneous 12mo volume of pamphlets, communicated by Mr. + Hartsonge, relating chiefly to Irish affairs, the property at one + time of Thomas Kingsbury, Esq., son of Dr. Kingsbury, who attended + Swift in his last illness." The present editor came across a + similar volume while on a visit of research in Dublin, among the + collection of books which belonged to the late Sir W. Gilbert, and + which were being catalogued for auction by the bookseller, Mr. + O'Donoghue. The little 12mo contained this tract which had, as Sir + W. Scott points out, a portrait of Swift at the end, on the recto + of the last leaf. + + According to Sir W. Scott, the friend in Dublin to whom the letter + is supposed to be addressed, was Sir Robert Walpole. If Scott be + correct, and there seems little reason to doubt his conjecture, the + tract must have been written in the second half of the year 1726. + In the early part of that year Swift had an interview with Walpole. + Our knowledge of what transpired at that interview is obtained from + Swift's letter of April 28th, 1726, to Lord Peterborough; from + Swift's letter to Dr. Stopford of July 20th, 1726; from Pope's + letter to Swift of September 3rd, 1726; and from Swift's letter to + Lady Betty Germaine of January 8th, 1732/3. From these letters we + learn that Swift was really invited by Walpole to meet him. Swift's + visit to England concerned itself mainly with the publication of + "Gulliver's Travels," but Sir Henry Craik thinks that Swift had + other thoughts. "As regards politics," says this biographer, "he + was encouraged to hope that without loss either of honour or + consistency, it was open to him to make terms with the new powers. + In the end, the result proved that he either over-estimated his own + capacity of surrendering his independence, or under-estimated the + terms that would be exacted." This remark would leave it open for a + reader to conclude that Swift would, at a certain price, have been + ready to join Walpole and his party. But the letters referred to do + not in the least warrant such a conclusion. Swift's thought was for + Ireland, and had he been successful with Walpole in his pleading + for Ireland's cause that minister might have found an ally in + Swift; but the price to be paid was not to the man. From Swift's + letter to Peterborough we are at once introduced to Ireland's case, + and his point of view on this was so opposed to Walpole's + preconceived notions of how best to govern Ireland, as well as of + his settled plans, that Swift found, as he put it, that Walpole + "had conceived opinions ... which I could not reconcile to the + notions I had of liberty." Not at all of his own liberty, but of + that of the liberty of a nation; for, as he says (giving now the + quotation in full): "I had no other design in desiring to see Sir + Robert Walpole, than to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in + a true light, not only without any view to myself, but to any party + whatsoever ... I failed very much in my design; for I saw that he + had conceived opinions, _from the example and practices of the + present, and some former governors_, which I could not reconcile to + the notions I had of liberty." The part given here in italics is + omitted by Sir H. Craik in his quotation. + + Swift saw Walpole twice--once at Walpole's invitation at a dinner + at Chelsea, and a second time at his own wish, expressed through + Lord Peterborough. At the first meeting nothing of politics could + be broached, as the encounter was a public one. The second meeting + was private and resulted in nothing. The letter to Peterborough was + written by Swift the day after he had seen Walpole, and + Peterborough was requested to show it to that minister. The letter + is so pertinent to the subject-matter of this volume that it is + printed here: + + + "_April 28th, 1726._ + "SWIFT TO THE EARL OF PETERBOROUGH. + + "MY LORD, + + "Your lordship having, at my request, obtained for me an hour from + Sir Robert Walpole, I accordingly attended him yesterday at eight + o'clock in the morning, and had somewhat more than an hour's + conversation with him. Your lordship was this day pleased to + inquire what passed between that great minister and me; to which I + gave you some general answers, from whence you said you could + comprehend little or nothing. + + "I had no other design in desiring to see Sir Robert Walpole, than + to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in a true light, not + only without any view to myself, but to any party whatsoever: and, + because I understood the affairs of that kingdom tolerably well, + and observed the representations he had received were such as I + could not agree to; my principal design was to set him right, not + only for the service of Ireland, but likewise of England, and of + his own administration. + + "I failed very much in my design; for I saw he had conceived + opinions, from the example and practices of the present, and some + former governors, which I could not reconcile to the notions I had + of liberty, a possession always understood by the British nation to + be the inheritance of a human creature. + + "Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to enlarge very much upon the + subject of Ireland, in a manner so alien from what I conceived to + be the rights and privileges of a subject of England, that I did + not think proper to debate the matter with him so much as I + otherwise might, because I found it would be in vain. I shall, + therefore, without entering into dispute, make bold to mention to + your lordship some few grievances of that kingdom, as it consists + of a people who, beside a natural right of enjoying the privileges + of subjects, have also a claim of merit from their extraordinary + loyalty to the present king and his family. + + "First, That all persons born in Ireland are called and treated as + Irishmen, although their fathers and grandfathers were born in + England; and their predecessors having been conquerors of Ireland, + it is humbly considered they ought to be on as good a foot as any + subjects of Britain, according to the practice of all other + nations, and particularly of the Greeks and Romans. + + "Secondly, That they are denied the natural liberty of exporting + their manufactures to any country which is not engaged in a war + with England. + + "Thirdly, That whereas there is a university in Ireland, founded by + Queen Elizabeth, where youth are instructed with a much stricter + discipline than either in Oxford or Cambridge, it lies under the + greatest discouragements, by filling all the principal employments, + civil and ecclesiastical, with persons from England, who have + neither interest, property, acquaintance, nor alliance, in that + kingdom; contrary to the practice of all other states in Europe + which are governed by viceroys, at least what hath never been used + without the utmost discontents of the people. + + "Fourthly, That several of the bishops sent over to Ireland, having + been clergymen of obscure condition, and without other distinction + than that of chaplains to the governors, do frequently invite over + their old acquaintances or kindred, to whom they bestow the best + preferment in their gift. The like may be said of the judges, who + take with them one or two dependants, to whom they give their + countenance; and who, consequently, without other merit, grow + immediately into the chief business of their courts. The same + practice is followed by all others in civil employments, if they + have a cousin, a valet, or footman in their family, born in + England. + + "Fifthly, That all civil employments, granted in reversion, are + given to persons who reside in England. + + "The people of Ireland, who are certainly the most loyal subjects + in the world, cannot but conceive that most of these hardships have + been the consequence of some unfortunate representations (at least) + in former times; and the whole body of the gentry feel the effects + in a very sensible part, being utterly destitute of all means to + make provision for their younger sons, either in the Church, the + law, the revenue, or (of late) in the army; and, in the desperate + condition of trade, it is equally vain to think of making them + merchants. All they have left is, at the expiration of leases, to + rack their tenants, which they have done to such a degree, that + there is not one farmer in a hundred through the kingdom who can + afford shoes or stockings to his children, or to eat flesh, or + drink anything better than sour milk or water, twice in a year; so + that the whole country, except the Scottish plantation in the + north, is a scene of misery and desolation hardly to be matched on + this side of Lapland. + + "The rents of Ireland are computed to about a million and a half, + whereof one half million at least is spent by lords and gentlemen + residing in England, and by some other articles too long to + mention. + + "About three hundred thousand pounds more are returned thither on + other accounts; and, upon the whole, those who are the best versed + in that kind of knowledge agree, that England gains annually by + Ireland a million at least, which even I could make appear beyond + all doubt. + + "But, as this mighty profit would probably increase, with tolerable + treatment, to half a million more, so it must of necessity sink, + under the hardships that kingdom lies at present. + + "And whereas Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to take notice, how + little the king gets by Ireland, it ought, perhaps to be + considered, that the revenues and taxes, I think, amount to above + four hundred thousand pounds a-year; and, reckoning the riches of + Ireland, compared with England, to be as one to twelve, the king's + revenues there would be equal to more than five millions here; + which, considering the bad payment of rents, from such miserable + creatures as most of the tenants in Ireland are, will be allowed to + be as much as such a kingdom can bear. + + "The current coin of Ireland is reckoned, at most, but at five + hundred thousand pounds; so that above four-fifths are paid every + year into the exchequer. + + "I think it manifest, that whatever circumstances could possibly + contribute to make a country poor and despicable, are all united + with respect to Ireland. The nation controlled by laws to which + they do not consent, disowned by their brethren and countrymen, + refused the liberty not only of trading with their own + manufactures, but even their native commodities, forced to seek for + justice many hundred miles by sea and land, rendered in a manner + incapable of serving their king and country in any employment of + honour, trust, or profit; and all this without the least demerit; + while the governors sent over thither can possibly have no + affection to the people, further than what is instilled into them + by their own justice and love of mankind, which do not always + operate; and whatever they please to represent hither is never + called in question. + + "Whether the representatives of such a people, thus distressed and + laid in the dust, when they meet in a parliament, can do the public + business with that cheerfulness which might be expected from + free-born subjects, would be a question in any other country except + that unfortunate island; the English inhabitants whereof have given + more and greater examples of their loyalty and dutifulness, than + can be shown in any other part of the world. + + "What part of these grievances may be thought proper to be + redressed by so wise and great a minister as Sir Robert Walpole, he + perhaps will please to consider; especially because they have been + all brought upon that kingdom since the Revolution; which, however, + is a blessing annually celebrated there with the greatest zeal and + sincerity. + + "I most humbly entreat your lordship to give this paper to Sir + Robert Walpole, and desire him to read it, which he may do in a few + minutes. I am, with the greatest respect, my lord, + + "Your lordship's + "most obedient and humble servant, + "JON. SWIFT." + + Scott thinks that had Swift been anxious for personal favours from + Walpole he could easily have obtained them; "but the minister did + not choose to gain his adherence at the expense of sacrificing the + system which had hitherto guided England in her conduct towards the + sister kingdom, and the patriot of Ireland was not to be won at a + cheaper rate than the emancipation of his country." + + The original pamphlet bears neither date nor printer's name. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE PRESENT MISERABLE STATE OF IRELAND. + + +SIR, + +By the last packets I had the favour of yours, and am surprised that you +should apply to a person so ill qualified as I am, for a full and +impartial account of the state of our trade. I have always lived as +retired as possible; I have carefully avoided the perplexed honour of +city-offices; I have never minded anybody's business but my own; upon +all which accounts, and several others, you might easily have found +among my fellow-citizens, persons more capable to resolve the weighty +questions you put to me, than I can pretend to be. + +But being entirely at leisure, even at this season of the year, when I +used to have scarce time sufficient to perform the necessary offices of +life, I will endeavour to comply with your requests, cautioning you not +implicitly to rely upon what I say, excepting what belongs to that +branch of trade in which I am more immediately concerned. + +The Irish trade is, at present, in the most deplorable condition that +can be imagined; to remedy it, the causes of its languishment must be +inquired into: But as those causes (you may assure yourself) will not be +removed, you may look upon it as a thing past hopes of recovery. + +The first and greatest shock our trade received, was from an act passed +in the reign of King William, in the Parliament of England, prohibiting +the exportation of wool manufactured in Ireland. An act (as the event +plainly shews) fuller of greediness than good policy; an act as +beneficial to France and Spain, as it has been destructive to England +and Ireland.[103] At the passing of this fatal act, the condition of +our trade was glorious and flourishing, though no way interfering with +the English; we made no broad-cloths above _6s._ per yard; coarse +druggets, bays and shalloons, worsted damasks, strong draught works, +slight half-works, and gaudy stuffs, were the only product of our looms: +these were partly consumed by the meanest of our people, and partly +sent to the northern nations, from which we had in exchange, timber, +iron, hemp, flax, pitch, tar, and hard dollars. At the time the current +money of Ireland was foreign silver, a man could hardly receive _100l._, +without finding the coin of all the northern powers, and every prince of +the empire among it. This money was returned into England for fine +cloths, silks, &c. for our own wear, for rents, for coals, for hardware, +and all other English manufactures, and, in a great measure, supplied +the London merchants with foreign silver for exportation. + +The repeated clamours of the English weavers produced this act, so +destructive to themselves and us. They looked with envious eyes upon our +prosperity, and complained of being undersold by us in those +commodities, which they themselves did not deal in. At their instances +the act was passed, and we lost our profitable northern trade. Have they +got it? No, surely, you have found they have ever since declined in the +trade they so happily possessed; you shall find (if I am rightly +informed) towns without one loom in them, which subsisted entirely upon +the woollen manufactory before the passing of this unhappy bill; and I +will try if I can give the true reasons for the decay of their trade, +and our calamities. + +Three parts in four of the inhabitants of that district of the town +where I dwell were English manufacturers, whom either misfortunes in +trade, little petty debts, contracted through idleness, or the pressures +of a numerous family, had driven into our cheap country: These were +employed in working up our coarse wool, while the finest was sent into +England. Several of these had taken the children of the native Irish +apprentices to them, who being humbled by the forfeiture of upward of +three millions by the Revolution, were obliged to stoop to a mechanic +industry. Upon the passing of this bill, we were obliged to dismiss +thousands of these people from our service. Those who had settled their +affairs returned home, and overstocked England with workmen; those whose +debts were unsatisfied went to France, Spain, and the Netherlands, where +they met with good encouragement, whereby the natives, having got a firm +footing in the trade, being acute fellows, soon became as good workmen +as any we have, and supply the foreign manufactories with a constant +recruit of artisans; our island lying much more under pasture than any +in Europe. The foreigners (notwithstanding all the restrictions the +English Parliament has bound us up with) are furnished with the greatest +quantity of our choicest wool. I need not tell you, sir, that a +custom-house oath is held as little sacred here as in England, or that +it is common for masters of vessels to swear themselves bound for one of +the English wool ports, and unload in France or Spain. By this means the +trade in those parts is, in a great measure, destroyed, and we were +obliged to try our hands at finer works, having only our home +consumption to depend upon; and, I can assure you, we have, in several +kinds of narrow goods, even exceeded the English, and I believe we +shall, in a few years more, be able to equal them in broad cloths; but +this you may depend upon, that scarce the tenth part of English goods +are now imported, of what used to be before the famous act. + +The only manufactured wares we are allowed to export, are linen cloth +and linen yarn, which are marketable only in England; the rest of our +commodities are wool, restrained to England, and raw hides, skins, +tallow, beef, and butter. Now, these are things for which the northern +nations have no occasion; we are therefore obliged, instead of carrying +woollen goods to their markets, and bringing home money, to purchase +their commodities. + +In France, Spain, and Portugal, our wares are more valuable, though it +must be owned, our fraudulent trade in wool is the best branch of our +commerce; from hence we get wines, brandy, and fruit, very cheap, and +in great perfection; so that though England has constrained us to be +poor, they have given us leave to be merry. From these countries we +bring home moydores, pistoles, and louisdores, without which we should +scarce have a penny to turn upon. + +To England we are allowed to send nothing but linen cloth, yarn, raw +hides, skins, tallow, and wool. From thence we have coals, for which we +always pay ready money, India goods, English woollen and silks, tobacco, +hardware, earthenware, salt, and several other commodities. Our +exportations to England are very much overbalanced by our importations; +so that the course of exchange is generally too high, and people choose +rather to make their remittances to England in specie, than by a bill, +and our nation is perpetually drained of its little running cash. + +Another cause of the decay of trade, scarcity of money, and swelling of +exchange, is the unnatural affectation of our gentry to reside in and +about London.[104] Their rents are remitted to them, and spent there. +The countryman wants employment from them; the country shopkeeper wants +their custom. For this reason he can't pay his Dublin correspondent +readily, nor take off a great quantity of his wares. Therefore, the +Dublin merchant can't employ the artisan, nor keep up his credit in +foreign markets. + +I have discoursed some of these gentlemen, persons esteemed for good +sense, and demanded a reason for this their so unaccountable +proceeding,--expensive to them for the present, ruinous to their +country, and destructive to the future value of their estates,--and find +all their answers summed up under three heads, curiosity, pleasure, and +loyalty to King George. The two first excuses deserve no answer; let us +try the validity of the third. Would not loyalty be much better +expressed by gentlemen staying in their respective countries, +influencing their dependents by their examples, saving their own wealth, +and letting their neighbours profit by their necessary expenses, thereby +keeping them from misery, and its unavoidable consequence, discontent? +Or is it better to flock to London, be lost in a crowd, kiss the King's +hand, and take a view of the royal family? The seeing of the royal house +may animate their zeal for it; but other advantages I know not. What +employment have any of our gentlemen got by their attendance at Court, +to make up to them their expenses? Why, about forty of them have been +created peers, and a little less than a hundred of them baronets and +knights. For these excellent advantages, thousands of our gentry have +squeezed their tenants, impoverished the trader, and impaired their own +fortunes! + +Another great calamity, is the exorbitant raising of the rents of lands. +Upon the determination of all leases made before the year 1690, a +gentleman thinks he has but indifferently improved his estate if he has +only doubled his rent-roll. Farms are screwed up to a rack-rent, leases +granted but for a small term of years, tenants tied down to hard +conditions, and discouraged from cultivating the lands they occupy to +the best advantage, by the certainty they have of the rent being raised, +on the expiration of their lease, proportionably to the improvements +they shall make. Thus is honest industry restrained; the farmer is a +slave to his landlord; 'tis well if he can cover his family with a +coarse home-spun frieze. The artisan has little dealings with him; yet +he is obliged to take his provisions from him at an extravagant price, +otherwise the farmer cannot pay his rent. + +The proprietors of lands keep great part of them in their own hands for +sheep-pasture; and there are thousands of poor wretches who think +themselves blessed, if they can obtain a hut worse than the squire's +dog-kennel, and an acre of ground for a potato-plantation, on condition +of being as very slaves as any in America. What can be more deplorable, +than to behold wretches starving in the midst of plenty! + +We are apt to charge the Irish with laziness, because we seldom find +them employed; but then we don't consider they have nothing to do. Sir +William Temple, in his excellent remarks on the United Provinces, +inquires why Holland, which has the fewest and worst ports and +commodities of any nation in Europe, should abound in trade, and +Ireland, which has the most and best of both, should have none? This +great man attributes this surprising accident to the natural aversion +man has for labour; who will not be persuaded to toil and fatigue +himself for the superfluities of life throughout the week, when he may +provide himself with all necessary subsistence by the labour of a day or +two. But, with due submission to Sir William's profound judgment, the +want of trade with us is rather owing to the cruel restraints we lie +under, than to any disqualification whatsoever in our inhabitants. + +I have not, sir, for these thirty years past, since I was concerned in +trade, (the greatest part of which time distresses have been flowing in +upon us,) ever observed them to swell so suddenly to such a height as +they have done within these few months. Our present calamities are not +to be represented; you can have no notion of them without beholding +them. Numbers of miserable objects crowd our doors, begging us to take +their wares at any price, to prevent their families from immediate +starving. We cannot part with our money to them, both because we know +not when we shall have vent for their goods; and, as there are no debts +paid, we are afraid of reducing ourselves to their lamentable +circumstances. The dismal time of trade we had during Marr's Troubles in +Scotland, are looked upon as happy days when compared with the +present.[105] + +I need not tell you, sir, that this griping want, this dismal poverty, +this additional woe, must be put to the accursed stocks, which have +desolated our country more effectually than England. Stockjobbing was a +kind of traffic we were utterly unacquainted with. We went late to the +South Sea market, and bore a great share in the losses of it, without +having tasted any of its profits. + +If many in England have been ruined by stocks, some have been advanced. +The English have a free and open trade to repair their losses; but, +above all, a wise, vigilant, and uncorrupted Parliament and ministry, +strenuously endeavouring to restore public trade to its former happy +state. Whilst we, having lost the greatest part of our cash, without any +probability of its returning, must despair of retrieving our losses by +trade, and have before our eyes the dismal prospect of universal poverty +and desolation. + +I believe, sir, you are by this time heartily tired with this indigested +letter, and are firmly persuaded of the truth of what I said in the +beginning of it, that you had much better have imposed this task on some +of our citizens of greater abilities. But perhaps, sir, such a letter as +this may be, for the singularity of it, entertaining to you, who +correspond with the politest and most learned men in Europe. But I am +satisfied you will excuse its want of exactness and perspicuity, when +you consider my education, my being unaccustomed to writings of this +nature, and, above all, those calamitous objects which constantly +surround us, sufficient to disturb the cleanest imagination, and the +soundest judgment. + +Whatever cause I have given you, by this letter, to think worse of my +sense and judgment, I fancy I have given you a manifest proof that I am, +sir, + + Your most obedient humble servant, + + J. S. + + + + +THE SUBSTANCE + +OF WHAT WAS SAID BY + +THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S + +TO + +THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN, + +WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID + +DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX. + + + + + NOTE. + + + It was only proper and fitting that the citizens and freemen of the + City of Dublin should express their sense of the high appreciation + in which they held the writer of the "Drapier's Letters," and the + man who had fought and was still fighting for an alleviation of the + grievances under which their country suffered. The Dublin + Corporation, in 1729, presented Swift with the freedom of the city, + an honour rarely bestowed, and only on men in high position and + power. To Swift the honour was welcome. It was a public act of + justification of what he had done, and it came gratefully to the + man who had at one time been abused and reviled by the people of + the very city which was now honouring him. Furthermore, such a + confirmation of his acts set the seal of public authority which was + desirable, even if not necessary, to a man of Swift's temper. He + could save himself much trouble by merely pointing to the gold box + which was presented to him with the freedom. Even in this last + moment, however, of public recognition, he was not allowed to + receive it without a snarl from one of the crowd of the many + slanderers who found it safer to backbite him. Lord Allen may have + been wrong in his head, or ill-advised, or foolishly over-zealous, + but his ill-tempered upbraiding of the Dublin Corporation for what + he called their treasonable extravagance in thus honouring Swift, + whom he deemed an enemy of the King, was the act of a fool. Swift + was not the man to let the occasion slip by without advantage. In + the substance of what he said to the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of + Dublin in accepting their gift, he replied to the charges made by + Lord Allen, and also issued a special advertisement by way of + defence against what the lord had thought fit to say. + + * * * * * + + Both these pieces are here reprinted; the first from a broadside in + the British Museum, and the second from a manuscript copy in the + Forster Collection at South Kensington. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE SUBSTANCE OF WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S + +TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN, WHEN HIS +LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM +IN A GOLD BOX. + + +When his Lordship had said a few words, and presented the instrument, +the Dean gently put it back, and desired first to be heard. He said, "He +was much obliged to his lordship and the city for the honour they were +going to do him, and which, as he was informed, they had long intended +him. That it was true, this honour was mingled with a little +mortification by the delay which attended it, but which, however, he did +not impute to his lordship or the city; and that the mortification was +the less, because he would willingly hope the delay was founded on a +mistake;--for which opinion he would tell his reason." + +He said, "It was well known, that, some time ago, a person with a +title[106] was pleased, in two great assemblies, to rattle bitterly +somebody without a name, under the injurious appellations of a Tory, a +Jacobite, an enemy to King George, and a libeller of the government; +which character," the Dean said that, "many people thought was applied +to him. But he was unwilling to be of that opinion, because the person +who had delivered those abusive words, had, for several years, caressed, +and courted, and solicited his friendship more than any man in either +kingdom had ever done,--by inviting him to his house in town and +country,--by coming to the Deanery often, and calling or sending almost +every day when the Dean was sick,--with many other particulars of the +same nature, which continued even to a day or two of the time when the +said person made those invectives in the council and House of Lords. +Therefore, that the Dean would by no means think those scurrilous words +could be intended against him; because such a proceeding would overthrow +all the principles of honour, justice, religion, truth, and even common +humanity. Therefore the Dean will endeavour to believe, that the said +person had some other object in his thoughts, and it was only the +uncharitable custom of the world that applied this character to him. +However, that he would insist on this argument no longer. But one thing +he would affirm and declare, without assigning any name, or making any +exception, that whoever either did, or does, or shall hereafter, at any +time, charge him with the character of a Jacobite, an enemy to King +George, or a libeller of the government, the said accusation was, is, +and will be, false, malicious, slanderous, and altogether groundless. +And he would take the freedom to tell his lordship, and the rest that +stood by, that he had done more service to the Hanover title, and more +disservice to the Pretender's cause, than forty thousand of those noisy, +railing, malicious, empty zealots, to whom nature hath denied any talent +that could be of use to God or their country, and left them only the +gift of reviling, and spitting their venom, against all who differ from +them in their destructive principles, both in church and state. That he +confessed, it was sometimes his misfortune to dislike some things in +public proceedings in both kingdoms, wherein he had often the honour to +agree with wise and good men; but this did by no means affect either his +loyalty to his prince, or love to his country. But, on the contrary, he +protested, that such dislikes never arose in him from any other +principles than the duty he owed to the king, and his affection to the +kingdom. That he had been acquainted with courts and ministers long +enough, and knew too well that the best ministers might mistake in +points of great importance; and that he had the honour to know many more +able, and at least full as honest, as any can be at present." + +The Dean further said, "That since he had been so falsely represented, +he thought it became him to give some account of himself for about +twenty years, if it were only to justify his lordship and the city for +the honour they were going to do him." He related briefly, how, "merely +by his own personal credit, without other assistance, and in two +journeys at his own expense, he had procured a grant of the first-fruits +to the clergy, in the late Queen's time, for which he thought he +deserved some gentle treatment from his brethren.[107] That, during all +the administration of the said ministry, he had been a constant advocate +for those who are called the Whigs,--and kept many of them in their +employments both in England and here,--and some who were afterwards the +first to lift up their heels against him." He reflected a little upon +the severe treatment he had met with upon his return to Ireland after +her Majesty's death, and for some years after. "That being forced to +live retired, he could think of no better way to do public service, than +by employing all the little money he could save, and lending it, without +interest, in small sums to poor industrious tradesmen, without examining +their party or their faith. And God had so far pleased to bless his +endeavours, that his managers tell him he hath recovered above two +hundred families in this city from ruin, and placed most of them in a +comfortable way of life." + +The Dean related, how much he had suffered in his purse, and with what +hazard to his liberty, by a most iniquitous judge[108]; who, to gratify +his ambition and rage of party, had condemned an innocent book, written +with no worse a design, than to persuade the people of this kingdom to +wear their own manufactures.[109] How the said judge had endeavoured to +get a jury to his mind; but they proved so honest, that he was forced to +keep them eleven hours, and send them back nine times; until, at last, +they were compelled to leave the printer[110] to the mercy of the court, +and the Dean was forced to procure a _noli prosequi_ from a noble +person, then secretary of state, who had been his old friend. + +The Dean then freely confessed himself to be the author of those books +called "The Drapier's Letters;" spoke gently of the proclamation, +offering three hundred pounds to discover the writer.[111] He said, +"That although a certain person was pleased to mention those books in a +slight manner at a public assembly, yet he (the Dean) had learned to +believe, that there were ten thousand to one in the kingdom who differed +from that person; and the people of England, who had ever heard of the +matter, as well as in France, were all of the same opinion." + +The Dean mentioned several other particulars, some of which those from +whom I had the account could not recollect; and others, although of +great consequence, perhaps his enemies would not allow him. + +The Dean concluded, with acknowledging to have expressed his wishes, +that an inscription might have been graven on the box, shewing some +reason why the city thought fit to do him that honour, which was much +out of the common forms to a person in a private station;--those +distinctions being usually made only to chief governors, or persons in +very high employments. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT, + +IN HIS + +DEFENCE AGAINST JOSHUA, LORD ALLEN, + +_Feb. 18, 1729._ + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT, IN HIS DEFENCE AGAINST JOSHUA, LORD +ALLEN.[112] + + +"Whereas Dr. Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin, hath been +credibly informed, that, on Friday the 13th of this instant February, a +certain person did, in a public place, and in the hearing of a great +number, apply himself to the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor of this +city, and some of his brethren, in the following reproachful manner: 'My +lord, you and your city can squander away the public money, in giving a +gold box to a fellow who hath libelled the government!' or words to that +effect. + +"Now, if the said words, or words to the like effect, were intended +against him the said Dean, and as a reflection on the Right Hon. the +Lord Mayor, aldermen, and commons, for their decreeing unanimously, and +in full assembly, the freedom of this city to the said Dean, in an +honourable manner, on account of an opinion they had conceived of some +services done by him the said Dean to this city, and to the kingdom in +general,--the said Dean doth declare, That the said words, or words to +the like effect, are insolent, false, scandalous, malicious, and, in a +particular manner, perfidious; the said person, who is reported to have +spoken the said or the like words, having, for some years past, and even +within some few days, professed a great friendship for the said Dean; +and, what is hardly credible, sending a common friend of the Dean and +himself, not many hours after the said or the like words had been +spoken, to renew his profession of friendship to the said Dean, but +concealing the oratory; whereof the said Dean had no account till the +following day, and then told it to all his friends." + + + + +A + +LETTER + +ON + +MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, + +AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED. + +WRITTEN IN 1729. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The matter of this tract explains itself. M'Culla's project was to + put in circulation notes stamped on copper to supply the deficiency + in copper coins which Wood attempted. Swift, apparently, took a + mild tone towards M'Culla's plan, but thought that M'Culla would + make too much out of it for himself. He made a counter proposal + which is fully entered into here. Nothing came either of M'Culla's + proposal or Swift's counter-suggestion. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the + edition of 1765, and compared with that of Faulkner's edition of + 1772. Faulkner's edition differs in many details from that given by + Scott. The first sheet only of the original autograph manuscript is + in the Forster Collection at South Kensington. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, AND A NEW ONE +PROPOSED. + + + SIR, + +You desire to know my opinion concerning Mr. M'Culla's project, of +circulating notes stamped on copper, that shall pass for the value of +halfpence and pence. I have some knowledge of the man; and about a month +ago he brought me his book, with a couple of his halfpenny notes: but I +was then out of order, and he could not be admitted. Since that time I +called at his house; where I discoursed, the whole affair with him as +thoroughly as I could. I am altogether a stranger to his character. He +talked to me in the usual style, with a great profession of zeal for the +public good, which is the common cant of all projectors in their Bills, +from a First Minister of State down to a corn-cutter. But I stopped him +short, as I would have done a better man; because it is too gross a +pretence to pass at any time, and especially in this age, where we all +know one another so well. Yet, whoever proposeth any scheme which may +prove to be a public benefit, I shall not quarrel if it prove likewise +very beneficial to the contriver. It is certain, that next to the want +of silver, our greatest distress in point of coin is the want of small +change, which may be some poor relief for the defect of the former, +since the Crown will not please to take that work upon them here as they +do in England. One thing in Mr. M'Culla's book is certainly right, that +no law hinders me from giving a payable note upon leather, wood, copper, +brass, iron, or any other material (except gold and silver) as well as +upon paper. The question is, whether I can sue him on a copper bond, +when there is neither his hand nor seal, nor witnesses to prove it? To +supply this, he hath proposed, that the materials upon which his note is +written, shall be in some degree of value equal to the debt. But that is +one principal matter to be enquired into. His scheme is this: + +He gives you a piece of copper for a halfpenny or penny, stamped with a +promissory note to pay you twentypence for every pound of the said +copper notes, whenever you shall return them. Eight and forty of the +halfpenny pieces are to weigh a pound, and he sells you that pound +coined and stamped for two shillings: by which he clearly gains a little +more than sixteen _per cent._; that is to say, twopence in every +shilling. This will certainly arise to a great sum, if he should +circulate as large a quantity of his notes, as the kingdom, under the +great dearth of silver, may very probably require: enough indeed to make +any Irish tradesman's fortune; which, however, I should not repine at in +the least, if we could be sure of his fair-dealing. + +It was obvious for me to raise the common objection, why Mr. M'Culla +would not give security to pay the whole sum to any man who returned him +his copper notes, as my Lord Dartmouth and Colonel Moor were, by their +patents, obliged to do.[113] To which he gave some answers plausible +enough. First, "He conceived that his coins were much nearer to the +intrinsic value than any of those coined by patents, the bulk and +goodness of the metal fully equalling the best English halfpence made by +the crown: That he apprehended the ill-will of envious and designing +people, who, if they found him to have a great vent for his notes, since +he wanted the protection of a patent, might make a run upon him, which +he could not be able to support: And lastly, that his copper, (as is +already said,) being equal in value and bulk to the English halfpence, +he did not apprehend they should ever be returned, unless a combination, +proceeding from spite and envy, might be formed against him." + +But there are some points in his proposals which I cannot well answer +for; nor do I know whether he would be able to do it himself. The first +is, whether the copper he gives us will be as good as what the crown +provided for the English halfpence and farthings; and, secondly, whether +he will always continue to give us as good; and, thirdly, when he will +think fit to stop his hand, and give us no more; for I should be as +sorry to lie at the mercy of Mr. M'Culla, as of Mr. Wood. + +There is another difficulty of the last importance. It is known enough +that the Crown is supposed to be neither gainer nor loser by the coinage +of any metal; for they subtract, or ought to subtract, no more from the +intrinsic value than what will just pay all the charges of the mint; and +how much that will amount to, is the question. By what I could gather +from Mr. M'Culla, good copper is worth fourteenpence per pound. By this +computation, if he sells his copper notes for two shillings the pound, +and will pay twentypence back, then the expense of coinage for one pound +of copper must be sixpence, which is thirty per cent. The world should +be particularly satisfied on this article before he vends his notes; for +the discount of thirty per cent. is prodigious, and vastly more than I +can conceive it ought to be. For, if we add to that proportion the +sixteen per cent. which he avows to keep for his own profit, there will +be a discount of about forty-six per cent. Or, to reckon, I think, a +fairer way: Whoever buys a pound of Mr. M'Culla's coin, at two shillings +per pound, carries home only the real value of fourteenpence, which is a +pound of copper; and thus he is a loser of _41l. 13s. 4d._ per +cent.[114] But, however, this high discount of thirty per cent. will be +no objection against M'Culla's proposals; because, if the charge of +coinage will honestly amount to so much, and we suppose his copper notes +may be returned upon him, he will be the greater sufferer of the two; +because the buyer can lose but fourpence in the pound, and M'Culla must +lose sixpence, which was the charge of the coinage.[115] + +Upon the whole, there are some points which must be settled to the +general satisfaction, before we can safely take Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes for value received; and how he will give that satisfaction, is not +within my knowledge or conjecture. The first point is, that we shall be +always sure of receiving good copper, equal in bulk and fineness to the +best English halfpence. + +The second point is, to know what allowance he makes to himself, either +out of the weight or mixture of his copper, or both, for the charge of +his coinage. As to the weight, the matter is easy by his own scheme; +for, as I have said before, he proposes forty-eight to weigh a pound, +which he gives you for two shillings, and receives it by the pound at +twentypence: so that, supposing pure copper to be fourteenpence a pound, +he makes you pay thirty per cent. for the labour of coining, as I have +already observed, besides sixteen per cent. when he sells it. But if to +this he adds any alloy, to debase the metal, although it be not above +ten per cent.; then Mr. M'Culla's promissory notes will, as to the +intrinsic value of the metal, be above forty-seven per cent. discount. + +For, subtracting ten per cent. off sixty pound's worth of copper, it +will (to avoid fractions) be about five and a half per cent. in the +whole _100l._, which, added to + + 41 13 4 + 5 10 0 + ------- + will be per cent. 47 3 4 + +That we are under great distress for change, and that Mr. M'Culla's +copper notes, on supposition of the metal being pure, is less liable to +objection than the project of Wood, may be granted: but such a discount, +where we are not sure even of our twentypence a pound, appears hitherto +a dead weight on his scheme. + +Since I writ this, calling to mind that I had some copper halfpence by +me, I weighed them with those of Mr. M'Culla, and observed as follows: + +First, I weighed Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny against an English one of King +Charles II., which outweighed Mr. M'Culla's a fourth part, or +twenty-five per cent. + +I likewise weighed an Irish Patrick and David halfpenny, which +outweighed Mr. M'Culla's twelve and a half per cent. It had a very fair +and deep impression, and milled very skilfully round. + +I found that even a common halfpenny, well-preserved, weighed equal to +Mr. M'Culla's. And even some of Wood's halfpence were near equal in +weight to his. Therefore, if it be true that he does not think Wood's +copper to have been faulty, he may probably give us no better. + +I have laid these loose thoughts together with little order, to give +you, and others who may read them, an opportunity of digesting them +better. I am no enemy to Mr. M'Culla's project; but I would have it put +upon a better foot. I own that this halfpenny of King Charles II., which +I weighed against Mr. M'Culla's, was of the fairest kind I had seen. +However, it is plain the Crown could afford it without being a +loser.[116] But it is probable that the officers of the mint were then +more honest than they have since thought fit to be; for I confess not to +have met those of any other year so weighty, or in appearance of so good +metal, among all the copper coins of the three last reigns; yet these, +however, did much outweigh those of Mr. M'Culla; for I have tried the +experiment on a hundred of them. I have indeed seen accidentally one or +two very light; but it must certainly have been done by chance, or +rather I suppose them to be counterfeits. Be that as it will, it is +allowed on all hands, that good copper was never known to be cheaper +than it is at present. I am ignorant of the price, further than by his +informing me that it is only fourteenpence a pound; by which, I observe, +he charges the coinage at thirty per cent.; and therefore I cannot but +think his demands are exorbitant. But, to say the truth, the dearness or +cheapness of the metal do not properly enter into the question. What we +desire is, that it should be of the best kind, and as weighty as can be +afforded; that the profit of the contriver should be reduced from +sixteen to eight per cent.; and the charge of coinage, if possible, from +thirty to ten, or fifteen at most. + +Mr. M'Culla must also give good security that he will coin only a +determinate sum, not exceeding twenty thousand pounds; by which, +although he should deal with all uprightness imaginable, and make his +coin as good as that I weighed of King Charles II., he will, at sixteen +per cent., gain three thousand two hundred pounds; a very good +additional job to a private tradesman's fortune! + +I must advise him also to employ better workmen, and make his +impressions deeper and plainer; by which a rising rim may be left about +the edge of his coin, to preserve the letter from wearing out too soon. +He hath no wardens nor masters, or other officers of the mint, to suck +up his profit; and therefore can afford to coin cheaper than the Crown, +if he will but find good materials, proper implements, and skilful +workmen. + +Whether this project will succeed in Mr. M'Culla's hands, (which, if it +be honestly executed, I should be glad to see,) one thing I am confident +of, that it might be easily brought to perfection by a society of nine +or ten honest gentlemen of fortune, who wish well to their country, and +would be content to be neither gainers nor losers, further than the bare +interest of their money. And Mr. M'Culla, as being the first starter of +the scheme, might be considered and rewarded by such a society; whereof, +although I am not a man of fortune, I should think it an honour and +happiness to be one, even with borrowed money upon the best security I +could give. And, first, I am confident, without any skill, but by +general reason, that the charge of coining copper would be very much +less than thirty per cent. Secondly, I believe ten thousand pounds, in +halfpence and farthings, would be sufficient for the whole kingdom, even +under our great and most unnecessary distress for the want of silver; +and that, without such a distress, half the sum would suffice. For, I +compute and reason thus: the city of Dublin, by a gross computation, +contains ten thousand families; and I am told by shopkeepers, "That if +silver were as plenty as usual, two shillings in copper would be +sufficient, in the course of business, for each family." But, in +consideration of the want of silver, I would allow five shillings to +each family, which would amount to _2,500l._; and, to help this, I would +recommend a currency of all the genuine undefaced harp-halfpence, which +are left, of Lord Dartmouth's and Moor's patents under King Charles II.; +and the small Patrick and David for farthings. To the rest of the +kingdom, I would assign the _7,50l._ remaining; reckoning Dublin to +answer one-fourth of the kingdom, as London is judged to answer (if I +mistake not) one-third of England; I mean in the view of money only. + +To compute our want of small change by the number of souls in the +kingdom, besides being perplexed, is, I think, by no means just. They +have been reckoned at a million and a half; whereof a million at least +are beggars in all circumstances, except that of wandering about for +alms; and that circumstance may arrive soon enough, when it will be time +to add another ten thousand pounds in copper. But, without doubt, the +families of Ireland, who lie chiefly under the difficulties of wanting +small change, cannot be above forty or fifty thousand, which the sum of +ten thousand pounds, with the addition of the fairest old halfpence, +would tolerably supply; for, if we give too great a loose to any +projector to pour in upon us what he pleases, the kingdom will be, (how +shall I express it under our present circumstances?) more than undone. + +And hence appears, in a very strong light, the villainy of Wood, who +proposed the coinage of one hundred and eight thousand pounds in copper, +for the use of Ireland; whereby every family in the kingdom would be +loaden with ten or a dozen shillings, although Wood might not transgress +the bounds of his patent, and although no counterfeits, either at home +or abroad, were added to the number; the contrary to both which would +indubitably have arrived. So ill informed are great men on the other +side, who talk of a million with as little ceremony as we do of +half-a-crown! + +But to return to the proposal I have made: Suppose ten gentlemen, lovers +of their country, should raise _200l._ a-piece; and, from the time the +money is deposited as they shall agree, should begin to charge it with +seven per cent. for their own use; that they should, as soon as +possible, provide a mint and good workmen, and buy copper sufficient for +coining two thousand pounds, subtracting a fifth part of the interest of +ten thousand pounds for the charges of the tools, and fitting up a place +for a mint; the other four parts of the same interest to be subtracted +equally out of the four remaining coinages of _2,000l._ each, with a +just allowance for other necessary incidents. Let the charge of coinage +be fairly reckoned, and the kingdom informed of it, as well as of the +price of copper. Let the coin be as well and deeply stamped as it ought. +Let the metal be as pure as can consist to have it rightly coined, +(wherein I am wholly ignorant,) and the bulk as large as that of King +Charles II. And let this club of ten gentlemen give their joint security +to receive all the coins they issue out for seven or ten years, and +return gold and silver without any defalcation. + +Let the same club, or company, when they have issued out the first two +thousand pounds, go on the second year, if they find a demand, and that +their scheme hath answered to their own intention, as well as to the +satisfaction of the public. And, if they find seven per cent. not +sufficient, let them subtract eight, beyond which I would not have them +go. And when they have in five years coined ten thousand pounds, let +them give public notice that they will proceed no further, but shut up +their mint, and dismiss their workmen; unless the real, universal, +unsolicited, declaration of the nobility and gentry of the kingdom shall +signify a desire that they shall go on for a certain sum farther. + +This company may enter into certain regulations among themselves; one of +which should be, to keep nothing concealed, and duly to give an account +to the world of their whole methods of acting. + +Give me leave to compute, wholly at random, what charge the kingdom will +be at, by the loss of intrinsic value in the coinage of _10,000l._ in +copper, under the management of such a society of gentlemen. + +First, It is plain that instead of somewhat more than sixteen per cent. +as demanded by Mr. M'Culla, this society desires but eight per cent. + +Secondly, Whereas Mr. M'Culla charges the expense of coinage at thirty +per cent., I hope and believe this society will be able to perform it at +ten. + +Thirdly, Whereas it doth not appear that Mr. M'Culla can give any +security for the goodness of his copper, because not one in ten thousand +have the skill to distinguish, the society will be all engaged that +theirs shall be of the best standard. + +Fourthly, That whereas Mr. M'Culla's halfpence are one-fourth part +lighter than that kind coined in the time of King Charles II., these +gentlemen will oblige themselves to the public, to give their coin of +the same weight and goodness with those halfpence, unless they shall +find they cannot afford it; and, in that case, they shall beforehand +inform the public, show their reasons, and signify how large they can +make them without being losers; and so give over or pursue their scheme, +as they find the opinion of the world to be. However, I do not doubt but +they can afford them as large, and of as good metal, as the best English +halfpence that have been coined in the three last reigns, which very +much outweighed those of Mr. M'Culla. And this advantage will arise in +proportion, by lessening the charge of coinage from thirty per cent. to +ten or fifteen, or twenty at most. But I confess myself in the dark on +that article; only I think it impossible it should amount to any +proportion near thirty per cent.; otherwise the coiners of those +counterfeit halfpence called raps[117] would have little encouragement +to follow their trade. + +But the indubitable advantages, by having the management in such a +society, would be the paying eight per cent. instead of sixteen, the +being sure of the goodness and just weight of the coin, and the period +to be put to any further coinage than what was absolutely necessary to +supply the wants and desires of the kingdom; and all this under the +security of ten gentlemen of credit and fortune, who would be ready to +give the best security and satisfaction, that they had no design to turn +the scheme into a job. + +As to any mistakes I have made in computation, they are of little +moment; and I shall not descend so low as to justify them against any +caviller. + +The strongest objection against what I offer, and which perhaps may make +it appear visionary, is the difficulty to find half a score gentlemen, +who, out of a public spirit, will be at the trouble, for no more profit +than one per cent. above the legal interest, to be overseers of a mint +for five years; and perhaps, without any justice, raise the clamour of +the people against them. Besides, it is most certain that many a squire +is as fond of a job, and as dexterous to make the best of it, as Mr. +M'Culla himself, or any of his level. + +However, I do not doubt but there may be ten such persons in this town, +if they had only some visible mark to know them at sight. Yet I just +foresee another inconveniency; That knavish men are fitter to deal with +others of their own denomination; while those who are honest and +best-intentioned may be the instruments of as much mischief to the +public, for want of cunning, as the greatest knaves; and more, because +of the charitable opinion which they are apt to have of others. +Therefore, how to join the prudence of the serpent with the innocency of +the dove, in this affair, is the most difficult point. It is not so hard +to find an honest man, as to make this honest man active, and vigilant, +and skilful; which, I doubt, will require a spur of profit greater than +my scheme will afford him, unless he will be contented with the honour +of serving his country, and the reward of a good conscience. + +After reviewing what I had written, I see very well that I have not +given any allowance for the first charge of preparing all things +necessary for coining, which, I am told, will amount to about _200l._ +besides _20l._ per annum for five years rent of a house to work in. I +can only say, that, this making in all _300l._, it will be an addition +of no more than three per cent. out of _10,000l._ + +But the great advantages to the public, by having the coinage placed in +the hands of ten gentlemen such as I have already described, (if such +are to be found,) are these:-- + +First, They propose no other gain to themselves than one per cent. above +the legal interest for the money they advance; which will hardly afford +them coffee when they meet at their mint-house. + +Secondly, They bind themselves to make their coins of as good copper as +the best English halfpence, and as well coined, and of equal weight; and +do likewise bind themselves to charge the public with not one farthing +for the expense of coinage, more than it shall really stand them in. + +Thirdly, They will, for a limited term of seven or ten years, as shall +be thought proper upon mature consideration, pay gold and silver, +without any defalcation, for all their own coin that shall be returned +upon their hands. + +Fourthly, They will take care that the coins shall have a deep +impression, leaving a rising rim on both sides, to prevent being +defaced in a long time; and the edges shall be milled. + +I suppose they need not be very apprehensive of counterfeits, which it +will be difficult to make so as not to be discovered; for it is plain +that those bad halfpence called raps are so easily distinguished, even +from the most worn genuine halfpenny, that nobody will now take them for +a farthing, although under the great present want of change. + +I shall here subjoin some computations relating to Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes. They were sent to me by a person well skilled in such +calculations; and therefore I refer them to the reader.[118] + +Mr. M'Culla charges good copper at fourteenpence per pound: but I know +not whether he means avoirdupois or troy weight. + + Avoirdupois is sixteen ounces to a pound, 6960 grains. + A pound troy weight, 5760 grains. + Mr. M'Culla's copper is fourteenpence per pound avoirdupois. + Two of Mr. M'Culla's penny notes, one with another, weigh 524 grains. + By which computation, two shillings of his notes, which he + sells for one pound weight, will weigh 6288 grains. + But one pound avoirdupois weighs, as above, 6960 grains. + This difference makes 10 per cent. + to Mr. M'Culla's profit, in point of weight. + The old Patrick and David halfpenny weighs 149 grains. + Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. + ------ + The difference is 18 + + Which is equal to 10-1/2 per cent. + The English halfpenny of King Charles II. weighs 167 grains. + M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. + ------ + The difference 36 + + Which difference, allowed a fifth part, is 20 per cent. + + +ANOTHER COMPUTATION. + +Mr. M'Culla allows his pound of copper (coinage included) to be worth +twentypence; for which he demands two shillings. + + His coinage he computes at sixpence per pound weight; therefore, + he laying out only twentypence, and gaining fourpence, + he makes per cent. profit, 20 + The sixpence per pound weight, allowed for coinage, + makes per cent. 30 + The want of weight in his halfpenny, compared as above, + is per cent. 10 + By all which (viz. coinage, profit, and want of weight) + --the public loses per cent. 60 + +If Mr. M'Culla's coins will not pass, and he refuses to receive them +back, the owner cannot sell them at above twelvepence per pound weight; +whereby, with the defect of weight of 10 per cent., he will lose 60 per +cent. + +The scheme of the society, raised as high as it can possibly be, will be +only thus: + + For interest of their money, per cent. 8 + For coinage, instead of 10, suppose at most per cent. 20 + For _l.300_ laid out for tools, a mint, and house-rent, + charge 3 per cent. upon the coinage of _l.10,000_, 3 + ---- + Charges in all upon interest, coinage, &c. per cent., 31 + +Which, with all the advantages above-mentioned, of the goodness of the +metal, the largeness of the coin, the deepness and fairness of the +impression, the assurance of the society confining itself to such a sum +as they undertake, or as the kingdom shall approve; and lastly, their +paying in gold or silver for all their coin returned upon their hands +without any defalcation, would be of mighty benefit to the kingdom; and, +with a little steadiness and activity, could, I doubt not, be easily +compassed. + +I would not in this scheme recommend the method of promissory notes, +after Mr. M'Culla's manner; but, as I have seen in old Irish coins, the +words CIVITAS DVBLIN, on one side, with the year of our Lord +and the Irish harp on the reverse. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +THAT + +ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND + +SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN + +IRISH MANUFACTURES. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The arguments advanced in this tract are practically repetitions of + those already given in previous pieces. Swift laid much stress on + the people buying and wearing goods made in Ireland, since in that + way the money would remain in the country. In this little tract he + winds up with a special appeal to the women of Ireland. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that of the quarto edition (vol. + viii.) of 1765, and compared with Faulkner's of 1772. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND SHOULD APPEAR +CONSTANTLY IN IRISH MANUFACTURES. + + +There was a treatise written about nine years ago, to persuade the +people of Ireland to wear their own manufactures.[119] This treatise was +allowed to have not one syllable in it of party or disaffection; but was +wholly founded upon the growing poverty of the nation, occasioned by the +utter want of trade in every branch, except that ruinous importation of +all foreign extravagancies from other countries. This treatise was +presented, by the grand jury of the city and county of Dublin, as a +scandalous, seditious, and factious pamphlet. I forget who was the +foreman of the city grand jury; but the foreman for the county was one +Doctor Seal, register to the Archbishop of Dublin, wherein he differed +much from the sentiments of his lord.[120] The printer[121] was tried +before the late Mr. Whitshed, that famous Lord chief-justice; who, on +the bench, laying his hand on his heart, declared, upon his salvation, +that the author was a Jacobite, and had a design to beget a quarrel +between the two nations.[122] In the midst of this prosecution, about +fifteen hundred weavers were forced to beg their bread, and had a +general contribution made for their relief, which just served to make +them drunk for a week; and then they were forced to turn rogues, or +strolling beggars, or to leave the kingdom. + +The Duke of Grafton,[123] who was then Lieutenant, being perfectly +ashamed of so infamous and unpopular a proceeding, obtained from England +a _noli prosequi_ for the printer. Yet the grand jury had solemn thanks +given them from the Secretary of State. + +I mention this passage (perhaps too much forgotten,) to shew how +dangerous it hath been for the best meaning person to write one syllable +in the defence of his country, or discover the miserable condition it is +in. + +And to prove this truth, I will produce one instance more; wholly +omitting the famous case of the Drapier, and the proclamation against +him, as well as the perverseness of another jury against the same Mr. +Whitshed, who was violently bent to act the second part in another +scene.[124] + +About two years ago, there was a small paper printed, which was called, +"A Short View of the State of Ireland," relating the several causes +whereby any country may grow rich, and applying them to Ireland.[125] +Whitshed was dead, and consequently the printer was not troubled. Mist, +the famous journalist, happened to reprint this paper in London, for +which his press-folks were prosecuted for almost a twelve-month; and, +for aught I know, are not yet discharged.[126] + +This is our case; insomuch, that although I am often without money in my +pocket, I dare not own it in some company, for fear of being thought +disaffected. + +But, since I am determined to take care that the author of this paper +shall not be discovered (following herein the most prudent practice of +the Drapier,) I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein +our corn hath miscarried, did no more contribute to our present misery, +than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would +contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, +although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore +us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which +might indeed warm his fur coat, but never bring him back to life. + +The short of the matter is this: The distresses of the kingdom are +operating more and more every day, by very large degrees, and so have +been doing for above a dozen years past. + +If you demand from whence these distresses have arisen, I desire to ask +the following question: + +If two-thirds of any kingdom's revenue be exported to another country, +without one farthing of value in return; and if the said kingdom be +forbidden the most profitable branches of trade wherein to employ the +other third, and only allowed to traffic in importing those commodities +which are most ruinous to itself[127]; how shall that kingdom stand? + +If this question were formed into the first proposition of an +hypothetical syllogism, I defy the man born in Ireland, who is now in +the fairest way of getting a collectorship, or a cornet's post, to give +a good reason for denying it. + +Let me put another case. Suppose a gentleman's estate of two hundred +pounds a year should sink to one hundred, by some accident, whether by +an earthquake, or inundation, it matters not: and suppose the said +gentleman utterly hopeless and unqualified ever to retrieve the loss; +how is he otherwise to proceed in his future economy, than by reducing +it on every article to one half less, unless he will be content to fly +his country, or rot in jail? This is a representation of Ireland's +condition; only with one fault, that it is a little too favourable. +Neither am I able to propose a full remedy for this, that shall ever be +granted, but only a small prolongation of life, until God shall +miraculously dispose the hearts of our neighbours, our kinsmen, our +fellow-protestants, fellow-subjects, and fellow rational creatures, to +permit us to starve without running further in debt. I am informed that +our national debt (and God knows how we wretches came by that +fashionable thing a national debt) is about two hundred and fifty +thousand pounds; which is at least one-third of the whole kingdom's +rents, after our absentees and other foreign drains are paid, and about +fifty thousand pounds more than all the cash. + +It seems there are several schemes for raising a fund to pay the +interest of this formidable sum (not the principal, for this is allowed +impossible). The necessity of raising such a fund, is strongly and +regularly pleaded, from the late deficiencies in the duties and customs. +And is it the fault of Ireland that these funds are deficient? If they +depend on trade, can it possibly be otherwise, while we have neither +liberty to trade, nor money to trade with; neither hands to work, nor +business to employ them, if we had? Our diseases are visible enough both +in their causes and effects; and the cures are well known, but +impossible to be applied. + +If my steward comes and tells me, that my rents are sunk so low, that +they are very little more than sufficient to pay my servants their +wages; have I any other course left than to cashier four in six of my +rascally footmen, and a number of other varlets in my family, of whose +insolence the whole neighbourhood complains? And I should think it +extremely severe in any law, to force me to maintain a household of +fifty servants, and fix their wages, before I had offered my rent-roll +upon oath to the legislators. + +To return from digressing: I am told one scheme for raising a fund to +pay the interest of our national debt, is, by a further duty of forty +shillings a tun upon wine. Some gentlemen would carry this matter much +further, by raising it to twelve pounds; which, in a manner, would +amount to a prohibition: thus weakly arguing from the practice of +England. + +I have often taken notice, both in print and in discourse, that there is +no topic so fallacious, either in talk or in writing, as to argue how we +ought to act in Ireland, from the example of England, Holland, France, +or any other country, whose inhabitants are allowed the common rights +and liberties of humankind. I could undertake to name six or seven of +the most uncontrolled maxims in government, which are utterly false in +this kingdom. + +As to the additional duty on wine, I think any person may deliver his +opinion upon it, until it shall have passed into a law; and till then, I +declare mine to be positively against it. + +First, Because there is no nation yet known, in either hemisphere, where +the people of all conditions are more in want of some cordial to keep up +their spirits, than in this of ours. I am not in jest; and if the fact +will not be allowed me, I shall not argue it. + +Secondly, It is too well and generally known, that this tax of forty +shillings additional on every tun of wine, (which will be double, at +least, to the home consumer) will increase equally every new session of +Parliament, until, perhaps, it comes to twelve pounds. + +Thirdly, Because, as the merchants inform me, and as I have known many +the like instances in England, this additional tax will more probably +lessen this branch of the revenue, than increase it. And therefore Sir +John Stanley, a commissioner of the customs in England, used to say, +that the House of Commons were generally mistaken in matters of trade, +by an erroneous opinion that two and two make four. Thus, if you should +lay an additional duty of one penny a pound on raisins or sugar, the +revenue, instead of rising, would certainly sink; and the consequence +would only be, to lessen the number of plum-puddings, and ruin the +confectioner. + +Fourthly, I am likewise assured by merchants, that upon this additional +forty shillings, the French will at least equally raise their duties +upon all commodities we export thither. + +Fifthly, If an original extract of the exports and imports be true, we +have been gainers, upon the balance, by our trade with France, for +several years past; and, although our gain amounts to no great sum, we +ought to be satisfied, since we are no losers, with the only consolation +we are capable of receiving. + +Lastly, The worst consequence is behind. If we raise the duty on wine to +a considerable height, we lose the only hold we have of keeping among us +the few gentlemen of any tolerable estates. I am confident there is +hardly a gentleman of eight hundred pounds a year and upwards, in this +kingdom, who would balance half an hour to consider whether he should +live here or in England, if a family could be as cheaply maintained in +the one as the other. As to eatables, they are as cheap in many fine +counties of England, as in some very indifferent ones here; or, if there +be any difference, that vein of thrift and prudence in economy, which +passes there without reproach, (and chiefly in London itself,) would +amply make up the difference. But the article of French wine is hardly +tolerable, in any degree of plenty, to a middling fortune; and this is +it, which, by growing habitual, wholly turns the scale with those few +landed men, disengaged from employments, who content themselves to live +hospitably with plenty of good wine in their own country, rather than in +penury and obscurity in another, with bad, or with none at all. + +Having, therefore, as far as in me lies, abolished this additional duty +upon wine; for I am not under the least concern about paying the +interest of the national debt, but leave it, as in loyalty bound, wholly +to the wisdom of the honourable House of Commons; I come now to consider +by what methods we may be able to put off and delay our utter undoing as +long as it is possible. + +I never have discoursed with any reasonable man upon this subject, who +did not allow that there was no remedy left us, but to lessen the +importation of all unnecessary commodities as much as it was possible; +and likewise either to persuade our absentees to spend their money at +home, which is impossible; or tax them at five shillings in the pound +during their absence, with such allowances, upon necessary occasions, as +it shall be thought convenient: or, by permitting us a free trade, which +is denied to no other nation upon earth. The three last methods are +treated by Mr. Prior, in his most useful treatise, added to his list of +absentees.[128] + +It is to gratify the vanity, and pride, and luxury of the women, and of +the young fops who admire them, that we owe this insupportable +grievance, of bringing in the instruments of our ruin. There is annually +brought over to this kingdom near ninety thousand pounds worth of silk, +whereof the greater part is manufactured. Thirty thousand pounds more is +expended in muslin, holland, cambric, and calico. What the price of lace +amounts to, is not easy to be collected from the custom-house book, +being a kind of goods that takes up little room, and is easily run; but, +considering the prodigious price of a woman's head-dress, at ten, +twelve, twenty pounds a yard, must be very great. The tea, rated at +seven shillings per pound, comes to near twelve thousand pounds; but, +considering it as the common luxury of every chambermaid, sempstress, +and tradesman's wife, both in town and country, however they come by it, +must needs cost the kingdom double that sum. Coffee is somewhere above +seven thousand pounds. I have seen no account of the chocolate, and some +other Indian or American goods. The drapery imported is about +four-and-twenty thousand pounds. The whole amounts (with one or two +other particulars) to one hundred and fifty thousand pounds. The +lavishing of all which money is just as prudent and necessary, as to see +a man in an embroidered coat, begging out of Newgate in an old shoe. + +I allow that the thrown and raw silk is less pernicious, because we have +some share in the manufacture: but we are not now in circumstances to +trifle. It costs us above forty thousand pounds a-year; and if the +ladies, till better times, will not be content to go in their own +country shifts, I wish they may go in rags. + +Let them vie with each other in the fineness of their native linen: +their beauty and gentleness will as well appear, as if they were covered +over with diamonds and brocade. + +I believe no man is so weak, as to hope or expect that such a +reformation can be brought about by a law. But a thorough hearty, +unanimous vote, in both houses of Parliament, might perhaps answer as +well: every senator, noble or plebeian, giving his honour, that neither +himself, nor any of his family, would, in their dress, or furniture of +their houses, make use of anything except what was of the growth and +manufacture of this kingdom; and that they would use the utmost of their +power, influence, and credit, to prevail on their tenants, dependants, +and friends, to follow their example. + + + + +A + +MODEST PROPOSAL + +FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE + +FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS + +OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL + +TO THE PUBLIC. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Perhaps in no literature is there to be found a piece of writing in + any sense comparable to this "Modest Proposal." Written, + apparently, in a light and comic vein, it might deceive the casual + reader into the belief that Swift had achieved a joke. It has the + air of a smiling and indifferent _raconteur_ amusing an + after-dinner table. In truth, however, this piece of writing is a + terrible indictment made by an advocate speaking against the result + of a tyranny of power which, through wicked stupidity or complacent + indifference, had afflicted a people almost to extinction. The + restraint of the writer evinced in this tract, is the more + remarkable, when we remember that he was Ireland's foremost + patriot, that he had been her champion for liberty and + independence, and that an indignation filled him at all times, + lacerating his heart, against the cruelty and oppression and + wretchedness of humanity generally. Here, he sits down and writes + as calmly as if composing an ordinary sermon, and proposes, in cold + blood, to alleviate the poverty of the Irish people by the sale of + their children as table food for the rich. He even goes into + calculations as to cost of breeding, and shows how a mother might + earn eight shillings a year on each child, by disposing of its + carcass for ten shillings. Of the million and a half people who + inhabit the country, he assumes that there are 200,000 who beget + children; of these about 30,000 are able to provide for their + offspring, but the balance of 170,000 must inevitably become a + burden. What is to become of them? Many schemes have been proposed + to meet their case, but not one of them has answered. Trade and + agriculture gave them no opportunity, since the trade of the + country was almost at a standstill, and land was now either too + dear to keep or too poor to cultivate. At the time of Swift's + writing Ireland had passed through three frightful years of famine. + Corn had become so dear that riots occurred at the ports where what + corn remained was being exported. The land, as Swift wrote to Pope + (August 11th, 1729) was in every place strewn with beggars. The + poor labourer, had work been found for him, was too weak in body to + undertake it. Thousands had already died of starvation and the + diseases consequent on hunger. Those that managed to exist did so + in filth, and dying every day, as Swift wrote on another occasion, + "and rotting, by cold and famine, and filth and vermin." + + No, there was only one way out of the difficulty, and that was to + have these poor people breed children, which they could profitably + dispose of for food. Let them fatten their offspring as best they + could and sell them dead or alive for cooking. The irony of the + proposition may sound appalling to us in this century, but Swift + was not exaggerating the distress of his day. Even Primate Boulter, + who was certainly the last man to overstate an Irish case, sent + such reports as gave the English Government anxiety. To Swift it + was no time for polite speeches and calm proposals. He had already + given them in abundance. Now was the time for something merry and + with laughter: + + "I may storm and rage in vain; + It but stupifies your brain. + But with raillery to nettle, + Set your thoughts upon their mettle." + + It was in this spirit that the "Modest Proposal" was written. Swift + concludes with a final touch by telling us that he has nothing to + gain personally by his suggestion, since his "youngest child is + nine and his wife past child-bearing." + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is that of the original issue + collated with that given by Faulkner. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A MODEST + +PROPOSAL + +For preventing the + +CHILDREN + +OF + +POOR PEOPLE + +From ~being a Burthen~ to + +Their Parents or Country, + +AND + +For making them Beneficial to the + +PUBLICK. + + * * * * * + +By Dr. Swift. + + * * * * * + +_Dublin_, Printed by _S. Harding_: + +_London_, Reprinted; and sold by _J. Roberts_ in _Warwick-lane_, and +the Pamphlet-Shops. + +M.DCC.XXIX. + + + + +A MODEST PROPOSAL + +FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR +PARENTS OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO THE PUBLIC. + + +It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or +travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and +cabin-doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, +four, or six children, _all in rags_, and importuning every passenger +for an alms. These mothers instead of being able to work for their +honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling, to +beg sustenance for their helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either +turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear Native Country to +fight for the Pretender in Spain,[129] or sell themselves to the +Barbadoes. + +I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of +children, in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their +mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable +state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and therefore +whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these +children sound useful members of the commonwealth would deserve so well +of the public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the +nation. + +But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for +the children of professed beggars, it is of a much greater extent, and +shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born +of parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand +our charity in the streets. + +As to my own part, having turned my thoughts, for many years, upon this +important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other +projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their +computation. It is true a child, just dropped from its dam, may be +supported by her milk for a solar year with little other nourishment, at +most not above the value of two shillings, which the mother may +certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of +begging, and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for +them, in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their +parents, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of +their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding and +partly to the clothing of many thousands. + +There as likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will +prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women +murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, +sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense, +than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and +inhuman breast. + +The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million +and a half,[130] of these I calculate there may be about two hundred +thousand couple whose wives are breeders, from which number I subtract +thirty thousand couples, who are able to maintain their own children, +although I apprehend there cannot be so many under the present +distresses of the kingdom, but this being granted, there will remain an +hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand +for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident, or +disease within the year. There only remain an hundred and twenty +thousand children of poor parents annually born: The question therefore +is, how this number shall be reared, and provided for, which, as I have +already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly +impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed, for we can neither +employ them in handicraft, or agriculture; we neither build houses, (I +mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a +livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old, except where +they are of towardly parts, although, I confess they learn the rudiments +much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked +upon only as _probationers_, as I have been informed by a principal +gentleman in the County of Cavan, who protested to me, that he never +knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of +the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art. + +I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years +old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they +will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at +most on the Exchange, which cannot turn to account either to the parents +or the kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least +four times that value. + +I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will +not be liable to the least objection. + +I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in +London,[131] that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a +most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, +baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a +fricassee, or a ragout. + +I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration, that of the +hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand +may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males, +which is more than we allow to sheep, black-cattle, or swine, and my +reason is that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a +circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will +be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand +may at a year old be offered in sale to the persons of quality, and +fortune, through the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them +suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump, and fat +for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for +friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will +make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will +be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. + +I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh 12 +pounds, and in a solar year if tolerably nursed increaseth to 28 pounds. + +I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for +landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem +to have the best title to the children. + +Infants' flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful +in March, and a little before and after, for we are told by a grave +author an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, +there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine +months after Lent, than at any other season; therefore reckoning a year +after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the +number of Popish infants, is at least three to one in this kingdom, and +therefore it will have one other collateral advantage by lessening the +number of Papists among us. + +I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which +list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) +to be about two shillings _per annum_, rags included, and I believe no +gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good +fat child, which, as I have said will make four dishes of excellent +nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend, or his own +family to dine with him. Thus the Squire will learn to be a good +landlord, and grow popular among his tenants, the mother will have eight +shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another +child. + +Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may +flay the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make +admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. + +As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in +the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not +be wanting, although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and +dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs. + +A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I +highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to +offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this +kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want +of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and +maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve, so great +a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve, for +want of work and service: and these to be disposed of by their parents +if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due +deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot +be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American +acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their flesh was +generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by continual +exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would not +answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think with humble +submission, be a loss to the public, because they soon would become +breeders themselves: And besides, it is not improbable that some +scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice, (although +indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I +confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any +project, however so well intended. + +But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was +put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar,[132] a native of the +island Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago, +and in conversation told my friend, that in his country when any young +person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to +persons of quality, as a prime dainty, and that, in his time, the body +of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison +the emperor, was sold to his Imperial Majesty's Prime Minister of State, +and other great Mandarins of the Court, in joints from the gibbet, at +four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use +were made of several plump young girls in this town, who, without one +single groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and +appear at the playhouse, and assemblies in foreign fineries, which they +never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse. + +Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast +number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have +been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease the +nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain +upon that matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day +dying, and rotting, by cold, and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast +as can be reasonably expected. And as to the younger labourers they are +now in almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and +consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree, that if at +any time they are accidentally hired to common labour, they have not +strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily +delivered from the evils to come. + +I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I +think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and +many, as well as of the highest importance. + +For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the +number of Papists, with whom we are yearly over-run, being the principal +breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who +stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the +Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good +Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country, than stay at +home, and pay tithes against their conscience, to an Episcopal +curate.[133] + +Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, +which by law may be made liable to distress, and help to pay their +landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and _money +a thing unknown_. + +Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from +two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten +shillings a piece _per annum_, the nation's stock will be thereby +increased fifty thousand pounds _per annum_, besides the profit of a new +dish, introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the +kingdom, who have any refinement in taste, and the money will circulate +among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and +manufacture. + +Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings +sterling _per annum_, by the sale of their children, will be rid of the +charge of maintaining them after the first year. + +Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where +the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best +receipts for dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their +houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves +upon their knowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands +how to oblige his guests will contrive to make it as expensive as they +please. + +Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise +nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and +penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward +their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life, to the +poor babes, provided in some sort by the public to their annual profit +instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married +women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market, men +would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, +as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when +they are ready to farrow, nor offer to beat or kick them (as it is too +frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage. + +Many other advantages might be enumerated: For instance, the addition of +some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrelled beef; the +propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good +bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too +frequent at our tables, which are no way comparable in taste, or +magnificence to a well-grown, fat yearling child, which roasted whole +will make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast, or any other +public entertainment. But this, and many others I omit being studious of +brevity. + +Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant +customers for infants' flesh, besides others who might have it at +merry-meetings, particularly weddings and christenings, I compute that +Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses, and the +rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) +the remaining eighty thousand. + +I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against +this proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will +be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was +indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the +reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy _for this one +individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, +I think, ever can be upon earth_. Therefore let no man talk to me of +other expedients: _Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of +using neither clothes, nor household furniture, except what is of our +own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and +instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of +pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein +of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our Country, +wherein we differ even from_ LAPLANDERS, _and the inhabitants +of_ TOPINAMBOO:[134] _Of quitting our animosities and factions, +nor act any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the +very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell +our country and consciences for nothing:[135] Of teaching landlords to +have at least one degree of mercy toward their tenants. Lastly of +putting a spirit of honesty, industry and skill into our shopkeepers, +who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, +would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the +measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one +fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to +it_.[136] + +Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like +expedients, till he hath at least some glimpse of hope, that there will +ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice. + +But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering +vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of +success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which as it is wholly +new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expense and little +trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in +_disobliging_ ENGLAND. For this kind of commodity will not +bear exportation,[137] the flesh being of too tender a consistence, to +admit a long continuance in salt, _although perhaps I could name a +country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it_. + +After all I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject +any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, +cheap, easy and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be +advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire +the author, or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. +First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and +raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, +there being a round million of creatures in human figure, throughout +this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would +leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling adding those, who are +beggars by profession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers +with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect. I desire those +politicians, who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to +attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these +mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness +to have been sold for food at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and +thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as they have +since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of +paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with +neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the +weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like, or +greater miseries upon their breed for ever. + +I profess in the sincerity of my heart that I have not the least +personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having +no other motive than the _public good of my country, by advancing our +trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some +pleasure to the rich_. I have no children, by which I can propose to get +a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past +child-bearing. + + + + +ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This "Answer" forms an excellent continuation of the "Modest + Proposal." It is in an entirely different vein, but is, in its own + way, an admirable example of Swift's strength in handling a public + question. The English government had been offering every facility + to French officers for recruiting their army from Ireland. The + "Craftsman" made some strong remarks on this, and Primate Boulter, + in his letter to the Duke of Newcastle, under date October 14th, + 1730, told his Grace, "that after consulting with the Lords + Justices on the subject he found that they apprehend there will be + greater difficulties in this affair than at first offered." He + enters into the difficulties to be overcome in order to act in + consonance with the wishes of his Majesty, and promises that + "effectual care shall be taken that none of the officers who are + come hither, suffer on this account" (Letter, pp. 26-27, vol. ii., + Dublin, edit. 1770). Swift uses the matter for his own purposes and + ironically welcomes this chance for the depopulation of Ireland. + "When our island is a desert, we will send all our raw material to + England, and receive from her all our manufactured articles. A + leather coinage will be all we want, separated, as we shall then + be, from all human kind. We shall have lost all; but we may be left + in peace, and we shall have no more to tempt the plunderer." Scott + styles this "Answer" a masterpiece. + + * * * * * + + The text of this edition is based on that given by Faulkner in the + ninth volume of his edition of Swift issued in 1772. + + [T. S.] + + + + +ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN.[138] + + + SIR, + +I detest reading your papers, because I am not of your principles, and +because I cannot endure to be convinced. Yet I was prevailed on to +peruse your Craftsman of December the 12th, wherein I discover you to be +as great an enemy of this country, as you are of your own. You are +pleased to reflect on a project I proposed, of making the children of +Irish parents to be useful to the public instead of being +burdensome;[139] and you venture to assert, that your own scheme is more +charitable, of not permitting our Popish natives to be listed in the +service of any foreign prince. + +Perhaps, sir, you may not have heard of any kingdom so unhappy as this, +both in their imports and exports. We import a sort of goods, of no +intrinsic value, which costeth us above forty thousand pounds a year to +dress, and scour, and polish them, which altogether do not yield one +penny advantage;[140] and we annually export above seven hundred +thousand pounds a year in another kind of goods, for which we receive +not one single farthing in return; even the money paid for the letters +sent in transacting this commerce being all returned to England. But +now, when there is a most lucky opportunity offered to begin a trade, +whereby this nation will save many thousand pounds a year, and England +be a prodigious gainer, you are pleased, without a call, officiously and +maliciously to interpose with very frivolous arguments. + +It is well known, that about sixty years ago the exportation of live +cattle from hence to England was a great benefit to both kingdoms, until +that branch of traffic was stopped by an act of Parliament on your side, +whereof you have had sufficient reason to repent.[141] Upon which +account, when another act passed your Parliament, forbidding the +exportation of live men to any foreign country, you were so wise to put +in a clause, allowing it to be done by his Majesty's permission, under +his sign manual,[142] for which, among other great benefits granted to +Ireland, we are infinitely obliged to the British legislature. Yet this +very grace and favour you, Mr. D'Anvers, whom we never disobliged, are +endeavouring to prevent; which, I will take upon me to say, is a +manifest mark of your disaffection to his Majesty, a want of duty to the +ministry, and a wicked design of oppressing this kingdom, and a +traitorous attempt to lessen the trade and manufacture of England. + +Our truest and best ally, the Most Christian King,[143] hath obtained +his Majesty's licence, pursuant to law, to export from hence some +thousand bodies of healthy, young, living men, to supply his Irish +regiments. The King of Spain, as you assert yourself, hath desired the +same civility, and seemeth to have at least as good a claim. Supposing +then that these two potentates will only desire leave to carry off six +thousand men between them to France and Spain; then, by computing the +maintenance of a tall, hungry Irishman, in food and clothes, to be only +at five pounds a head, here will be thirty thousand pounds per annum +saved clear to the nation; for they can find no other employment at +home, beside begging, robbing, or stealing. But, if thirty, forty, or +fifty thousand (which we could gladly spare) were sent on the same +errand, what an immense benefit must it be to us! And if the two +princes, in whose service they were, should happen to be at war with +each other, how soon would those recruits be destroyed! Then what a +number of friends would the Pretender lose, and what a number of Popish +enemies all true Protestants get rid of! Add to this, that then, by such +a practice, the lands of Ireland, that want hands for tillage, must be +employed in grazing, which would sink the price of wool, raw hides, +butter, and tallow, so that the English might have them at their own +rates, and in return send us wheat to make our bread, barley to brew our +drink, and oats for our houses, without any labour of our own. + +Upon this occasion, I desire humbly to offer a scheme, which, in my +opinion, would best answer the true interests of both kingdoms: For +although I bear a most tender filial affection to England, my dear +native country, yet I cannot deny but this noble island hath a great +share in my love and esteem; nor can I express how much I desire to see +it flourish in trade and opulence, even beyond its present happy +condition. + +The profitable land of this kingdom is, I think, usually computed at +seventeen millions of acres, all which I propose to be wholly turned to +grazing. Now, it is found by experience, that one grazier and his family +can manage two thousand acres. Thus sixteen millions eight hundred +thousand acres may be managed by eight thousand four hundred families; +and the fraction of two hundred thousand acres will be more than +sufficient for cabins, out-houses, and potatoe-gardens; because it is to +be understood that corn of all sorts must be sent to us from England. + +These eight thousand four hundred families may be divided among the four +provinces, according to the number of houses in each province; and +making the equal allowance of eight to a family, the number of +inhabitants will amount to sixty-seven thousand two hundred souls. To +these we are to add a standing army of twenty thousand English; which, +together with their trulls, their bastards, and their horse-boys, will, +by a gross computation, very near double the count, and be very +sufficient for the defence and grazing of the kingdom, as well as to +enrich our neighbours, expel popery, and keep out the Pretender. And, +lest the army should be at a loss for business, I think it would be very +prudent to employ them in collecting the public taxes for paying +themselves and the civil list. + +I advise, that all the owners of these lands should live constantly in +England, in order to learn politeness, and qualify themselves for +employments; but, for fear of increasing the natives in this island, +that an annual draught, according to the number born every year, be +exported to whatever prince will bear the carriage, or transplanted to +the English dominions on the American continent, as a screen between his +Majesty's English subjects and the savage Indians. + +I advise likewise, that no commodity whatsoever, of this nation's +growth, should be sent to any other country except England, under the +penalty of high treason; and that all the said commodities shall be sent +in their natural state; the hides raw, the wool uncombed, the flax in +the stub; excepting only fish, butter, tallow, and whatever else will be +spoiled in the carriage. On the contrary, that no goods whatsoever shall +be exported hither, except from England, under the same penalty: that +England should be forced, at their own rates, to send us over clothes +ready made, as well as shirts and smocks to the soldiers and their +trulls; all iron, wooden, and earthen ware, and whatever furniture may +be necessary for the cabins of graziers; with a sufficient quantity of +gin, and other spirits, for those who, can afford to be drunk on +holidays. + +As to the civil and ecclesiastical administration, which I have not yet +fully considered, I can say little; only, with regard to the latter, it +is plain, that the article of paying tithe for supporting speculative +opinions in religion, which is so insupportable a burden to all true +Protestants, and to most churchmen, will be very much lessened by this +expedient; because dry cattle pay nothing to the spiritual hireling, +any more than imported corn; so that the industrious shepherd and +cowherd may sit every man under his own blackberry-bush, and on his own +potato-bed, whereby this happy island will become a new Arcadia. + +I do likewise propose, that no money shall be used in Ireland except +what is made of leather, which likewise shall be coined in England, and +imported; and that the taxes shall be levied out of the commodities we +export to England, and there turned into money for his Majesty's use; +and the rents to landlords discharged in the same manner. This will be +no manner of grievance, for we already see it very practicable to live +without money, and shall be more convinced of it every day. But whether +paper shall still continue to supply that defect, or whether we shall +hang up all those who profess the trade of bankers, (which latter I am +rather inclined to,) must be left to the consideration of wiser +politicians. + +That which maketh me more zealously bent upon this scheme, is my desire +of living in amity with our neighbouring brethren; for we have already +tried all other means without effect, to that blessed end: and, by the +course of measures taken for some years past, it should seem that we are +all agreed in the point. + +This expedient will be of great advantage to both kingdoms, upon several +accounts: for, as to England, they have a just claim to the balance of +trade on their side with the whole world: and therefore our ancestors +and we, who conquered this kingdom for them, ought, in duty and +gratitude, to let them have the whole benefit of that conquest to +themselves; especially when the conquest was amicably made without +bloodshed, by a stipulation between the Irish princes and Henry II.; by +which they paid him, indeed, not equal homage with what the electors of +Germany do to the emperor, but very near the same that he did to the +King of France for his French dominions. + +In consequence of this claim from England, that kingdom may very +reasonably demand the benefit of all our commodities in their natural +growth, to be manufactured by their people, and a sufficient quantity of +them for our use to be returned hither fully manufactured. + +This, on the other side, will be of great benefit to our inhabitants +the graziers; when time and labour will be too much taken up in manuring +their ground, feeding their cattle, shearing their sheep, and sending +over their oxen fit for slaughter; to which employments they are turned +by nature, as descended from the Scythians, whose diet they are still so +fond of. So Virgil describeth it:-- + + Et lac concretum cum sanguine bibit equino; + +Which, in English, is bonnyclabber[144] mingled with the blood of +horses, as they formerly did, until about the beginning of the last +century luxury, under the form of politeness, began to creep in, they +changed the blood of horses for that of their black cattle, and, by +consequence, became less warlike than their ancestors. + +Although I proposed that the army should be collectors of the public +revenues, yet I did not thereby intend that those taxes should be paid +in gold or silver; but in kind, as all other rent: For, the custom of +tenants making their payments in money, is a new thing in the world, +little known in former ages, nor generally practised in any nation at +present, except this island and the southern parts of Britain. But, to +my great satisfaction, I foresee better times; the ancient manner +beginneth to be now practised in many parts of Connaught, as well as in +the county of Cork; where the squires turn tenants to themselves, divide +so many cattle to their slaves, who are to provide such a quantity of +butter, hides, or tallow, still keeping up their number of cattle; and +carry the goods to Cork, or other port towns, and then sell them to the +merchants. By which invention there is no such thing as a ruined farmer +to be seen; but the people live with comfort on potatoes and +bonnyclabber, neither of which are vendible commodities abroad. + + + + +A + +VINDICATION + +OF + +HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET. + + + + + NOTE. + + + JOHN CARTERET, EARL GRANVILLE, succeeded to the Carteret + barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George, + the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at + Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter + place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and + philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House + of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant + succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the + Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden + he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in + 1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover. + Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir + Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray. + + In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern + province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he + intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a + party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the + King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for + George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton, + Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole, + however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to + Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the + office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this + time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government. + Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though, + in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of + Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's + halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the + present edition. + + During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been + one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George + was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George, + however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of + George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was + re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was + during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct + Swift vindicates in the following tract. + + The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper + of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often + consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not + appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion + to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation + against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott, + "visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing + the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber + of audience these lines: + + 'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task, + For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.' + + Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply: + + 'My very good Dean, there are few who come here, + But have something to ask, or something to fear.'" + + To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the + peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused + by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written + many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me + how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift + confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret + "had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than + most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his + well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name, + do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our + boobies again." + + Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the + changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could + come only from the government in England, and as this was + implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was + therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he + could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement, + and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their + behalf. + + Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his + chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs + in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of + their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure + him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals + who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his + usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows. + + Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in + 1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole, + which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House + of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his + presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was + compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no + relation to Irish affairs. + + * * * * * + + The present text is founded on that of the original London edition + printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date. + They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +VINDICATION + +OF HIS + +EXCELLENCY + +THE + +Lord _C----T_, + +FROM THE + +CHARGE + +Of favouring none but + +TORIES, HIGH-CHURCHMEN and + +JACOBITES. + + * * * * * + +By the Reverend Dr, _S----T_. + + * * * * * + +LONDON: + +Printed for T. WARNER at the _Black-Boy_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_. +MDCCXXX. + +(Price _6d._) + + + + +A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET. + + +In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and +impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his +Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars, +which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation +he lies under. + +He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the +Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for +what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former +Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean +that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with +Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th +day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt +of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our +posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which +day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now +alive. + +His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of +Oxford,[145] from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he +carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a +person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are +forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to +load their heads with. + +This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world, +and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon as he came to town, +some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning +and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately +dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain, +nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and +dispositions. + +To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him +with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence, +and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his +youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best +fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education; +having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow +him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period +when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his +money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and +epidemic among persons of honour. + +I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and +can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every +day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is +reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately +conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been +taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a +session, to the great neglect of public affairs.[146] + +I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from +good hands, that when his Excellency is at dinner with one or two +scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and +unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table. + +I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage. +For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most +comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and +vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life, +discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well +as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit +an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect +whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the +imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears +of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I +presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made +any mention of them. + +These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think +it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to +be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education. + +I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion +of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with +honour Pistorides.[147]) For these have decided the matter directly +against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under +the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at +a great man's levee in the worst of times,[148] should be allowed to +come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the +antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night. +However, I dare assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and +that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been +received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to +the nation. + +Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater +importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed. + +To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto +been taken to discover whether Madam Violante[149] be a Whig or Tory in +her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the +Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself +to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she +may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and +dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties, +who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least +apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson +himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.[150] And as +Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power, +it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power +ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any +legal security for her good affection to the government. + +I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think +proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the +old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the +same loyalty with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King +George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of +Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but +having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure +to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and +melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of +trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with +other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and +Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers. +Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture +to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our +usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under +the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the +like. + +This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning +mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties, +with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of +aversion on the other. + +How hath he been pelted, pestered, and pounded by one single wag, who +promiseth never to forsake him living or dead![151] + +I was much pleased with the humour of a surgeon in this town, who having +in his own apprehension, received some great injustice from the Earl of +Galway,[152] and despairing of revenge, as well as relief, declared to +all his friends that he had set apart a hundred guineas to purchase the +Earl's carcase from the sexton, whenever it should die; to make a +skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and shew them for threepence; and +thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by the owner. + +Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against +whom there is no defence but innocence, and philosophy: Neither of +which is likely to be at hand; and therefore the wounded have nowhere to +fly for a cure, but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a +profligate contempt of guilt and shame. + +I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus,[153] who +although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo +even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing +without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons, +according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not +blame an _honest_ gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to +whom he professeth the greatest friendship; provided he acts in the +dark, so as not to be discovered. But in the midst of caresses, visits, +and invitations, to run into the streets, or to as public a place, and +without the least pretended excitement, sputter out the basest and +falsest accusations; then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his +friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper, it was "all +for his service;" this proceeding, I am bold to think a great failure in +prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner, with a body so open, +so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an +incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon +great provocation: who without waiting for his death, will flay, and +dissect him alive, and to the view of mankind lay open all the +disordered cells of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corruption +of his heart, and spots and flatuses of his spleen--And all this for +threepence.[154] + +In such a case what a scene would be laid open! and to drop my metaphor +what a character of our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw and +expose! particularizing that unnatural conjunction of vices and follies, +so inconsistent with each other in the same breast: Furious and fawning, +scurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking, insolent and abject; +most profligately false, with the strongest professions of sincerity, +positive and variable, tyrannical and slavish. + +I apprehend that if all this should be set out to the world by an angry +Whig of the old stamp, the unavoidable consequence must be a confinement +of our friend for some months more to his garret, and thereby depriving +the public for so long a time, and in so important a juncture, of his +useful talents in their service, while he is fed like a wild beast +through a hole; but I hope with a special regard to the quantity and +quality of his nourishment. + +In vain would his excusers endeavour to palliate his enormities, by +imputing them to madness:[155] Because, it is well known, that madness +only operates by inflaming and enlarging the good or evil dispositions +of the mind: For the curators of Bedlam assure us, that some lunatics +are persons of honour, truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which +appear in their highest ravings, although after a wild incoherent +manner; while others on the contrary, discover in every word and action +the utmost baseness and depravity of human minds; which infallibly they +possessed in the same degree, although perhaps under a better +regulation, before their entrance into that academy. + +But it may be objected, that there is an argument of much force to +excuse the overflowings of that zeal, which our friend shews or means +for our cause. And it must be confessed, that the easy and smooth +fluency of his elocution bestowed on him by nature, and cultivated by +continual practice, added to the comeliness of his person, the harmony +of his voice, the gracefulness of his manner, and the decency of his +dress, are temptations too strong for such a genius to resist upon any +public occasion of making them appear with universal applause: And if +good men are sometimes accused of loving their jest better than their +friend, surely to gain the reputation of the first orator in the +kingdom, no man of spirit would scruple to lose all the friends he had +in the world. + +It is usual for masters to make their boys declaim on both sides of an +argument; and as some kinds of assemblies are called the schools of +politics, I confess nothing can better improve political school-boys, +than the art of making plausible or implausible harangues, against the +very opinion for which they resolve to determine. + +So Cardinal Perron after having spoke for an hour to the admiration of +all his hearers, to prove the existence of God; told some of his +intimates that he could have spoken another hour, and much better, to +prove the contrary. + +I have placed this reasoning in the strongest light, that I think it +will bear; and have nothing to answer, but that allowing it as much +weight as the reader shall please, it hath constantly met with ill +success in the mouth of our friend, whether for want of good luck, or +good management I suspend my judgment. + +To return from this long digression. If persons in high stations have +been allowed to choose mistresses, without regard even to difference in +religion, yet never incurred the least reflection on their loyalty or +their Protestantism; shall the chief governor of a great kingdom be +censured for choosing a companion, who may formerly have been suspected +for differing from the orthodox in some speculative opinions of persons +and things, which cannot affect the fundamental principles of a sound +Whig? + +But let me suppose a very possible case. Here is a person sent to govern +Ireland, whose unfortunate weak side it happens to be, for several +reasons above-mentioned, that he hath encouraged the attendance of one or +two gentlemen distinguished for their taste, their wit, and their +learning; who have taken the oaths to his Majesty, and pray heartily for +him: Yet because they may perhaps be stigmatized as _quondam_ Tories by +Pistorides and his gang; his Excellency must be forced to banish them +under the pain and peril of displeasing the zealots of his own party; +and thereby be put into a worse condition than every common good-fellow; +who may be a sincere Protestant, and a loyal subject, and yet rather +choose to drink fine ale at the Pope's head, than muddy at the King's. + +Let me then return to my supposition. It is certain, the high-flown +loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and +studies, and tongues so entirely diverted by political schemes, that +the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither +have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly +labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with +philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all +schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill +stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of +literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of +Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and +professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to +governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same +time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to +all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency, +and perhaps to five or six more in a nation. + +I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the +times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former +ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for +is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house +clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession, +till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first. + +I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so +obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse +is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have +produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly +informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session +quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some +book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great +stations are by. + +I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this +mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning +and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because +the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons +directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world: +And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of +the Greeks and Romans made young men imbibe opinions against absolute +power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions +of liberty and property. + +It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the +heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a +tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and +indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could +never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a +receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (_rightly spelt_) to +a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying; +whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world +with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.[156] + +I could heartily wish his Excellency would be more condescending to the +genius of the kingdom he governs, to the condition of the times, and to +the nature of the station he fills. Yet if it be true, what I have read +in old English story-books, that one Agesilaus (no matter to the bulk of +my readers, whether I spell the names right or wrong) was caught by the +parson of the parish, riding on a hobby-horse with his children; that +Socrates a heathen philosopher, was found dancing by himself at +fourscore; that a king called Cĉsar Augustus (or some such name) used to +play with boys; whereof some might possibly be sons of Tories; and, that +two great men called Scipio and Lĉlius, (I forget their Christian names, +and whether they were poets or generals,) often played at duck and drake +with smooth stones on a river. Now I say, if these facts be true (and +the book where I found them is in print) I cannot imagine why our most +zealous patriots may not a little indulge his Excellency, in an +infirmity which is not morally evil, provided he gives no public scandal +(which is by all means to be avoided) I say, why he may not be indulged +twice a week to converse with one or two particular persons, and let him +and them con over their old exploded readings together, after mornings +spent in hearing and prescribing ways and means from and to his most +obedient politicians, for the welfare of the kingdom; although the said +particular person or persons may not have made so public a declaration +of their political faith in all its parts, as the business of the nation +requires. Still submitting my opinion to that happy majority, which I am +confident is always in the right; by whom the liberty of the subject +hath been so frequently, so strenuously, and so successfully asserted; +who by their wise counsels have made commerce to flourish, money to +abound, inhabitants to increase, the value of lands and rents to rise; +and the whole island put on a new face of plenty and prosperity. + +But in order to clear his Excellency, more fully from this accusation of +shewing his favours to high-flyers, Tories, and Jacobites; it will be +necessary to come to particulars. + +The first person of a Tory denomination to whom his Excellency gave any +marks of his favour, was Doctor Thomas Sheridan.[157] It is to be +observed, that this happened so early in his Excellency's government, as +it may be justly supposed he had not been informed of that gentleman's +character upon so dangerous an article. The Doctor being well known and +distinguished, for his skill and success in the education of youth, +beyond most of his profession for many years past, was recommended to +his Excellency on the score of his learning, and particularly for his +knowledge in the Greek tongue, whereof it seems his Excellency is a +great admirer, although for what reasons I could never imagine. However +it is agreed on all hands, that his lordship was too easily prevailed on +by the Doctor's request, or indeed rather from the bias of his own +nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unknown language by the Doctor's +lads,[158] which was written by some heathen author, but whether it +contained any Tory or High-Church principles, must be left to the +consciences of the boys, the Doctor, and his Excellency: The only +witnesses in this case, whose testimonies can be depended upon. + +It seems, his Excellency (a thing never to be sufficiently wondered at) +was so pleased with his entertainment, that some time after he gave the +Doctor a church living to the value of almost one hundred pounds a year, +and made him one of his chaplains, from an antiquated notion, that good +schoolmasters ought to be encouraged in every nation, professing +civility and religion. Yet his Excellency did not venture to make this +bold step without strong recommendations from persons of undoubted +principles, fitted to the times; who thought themselves bound in +justice, honour, and gratitude, to do the Doctor a good office in return +for the care he had taken of their children, or those of their +friends.[159] Yet the catastrophe was terrible: For, the Doctor in the +height of his felicity and gratitude, going down to take possession of +his parish, and furnished with a few led-sermons, whereof as it is to be +supposed the number was very small, having never served a cure in the +Church; he stopped at Cork to attend on his bishop; and going to church +on the Sunday following, was according to the usual civility of country +clergymen, invited by the minister of the parish to supply the pulpit. +It happened to be the first of August[160]; and the first of August +happened that year to light upon a Sunday: And it happened that the +Doctor's text was in these words; "Sufficient unto the day is the evil +thereof;" and lastly it happened, that some one person of the +congregation, whose loyalty made him watchful upon every appearance of +danger to his Majesty's person and Government, when service was over, +gave the alarm. Notice was immediately sent up to town, and by the zeal +of one man[161] of no large dimensions of body or mind, such a clamour +was raised, that we in Dublin could apprehend no less than an invasion +by the Pretender, who must be landed in the South. The result was, that +the Doctor must be struck out of the chaplains' list, and appear no more +at the Castle; yet, whether he were then, or be at this day, a Whig or a +Tory, I think is a secret; only it is manifest, that he is a zealous +Hanoverian, at least in poetry,[162] and a great adorer of the present +Royal Family through all its branches. His friends likewise assert, that +he had preached this same sermon often, under the same text; that not +having observed the words till he was in the pulpit, and had opened his +notes; as he is a person a little abstracted, he wanted presence of mind +to change them: And that in the whole sermon there was not a syllable +relating to Government or party, or to the subject of the day. + +In this incident there seems to have been an union of events, that will +probably never happen again to the end of the world, or at least like +the grand conjunction in the heavens, which I think they say can arrive +but once in twenty thousand years. + +The second gentleman (if I am right in my chronology) who under the +suspicion of a Tory, received some favour from his Excellency, is Mr. +James Stopford[163]; very strongly recommended by the most eminent Whig +in England, on the account of his learning, and virtue, and other +accomplishments. He had passed the greatest part of his youth in close +study, or in travelling; and was neither not at home, or not at leisure +to trouble his thoughts about party; which I allow to be a great +omission; though I cannot honestly place him in the list of Tories, and +therefore think his Excellency may be fairly acquitted for making him +Vicar of Finglass, worth about one hundred and fifty pounds a year. + +The third is Doctor Patrick Delany.[164] This divine lies under some +disadvantage; having in his youth received many civilities from a +certain person then in a very high station here,[165] for which reason I +doubt the Doctor never drank his confusion since: And what makes the +matter desperate, it is now too late; unless our inquisitors will be +content with drinking confusion to his memory. The aforesaid eminent +person who was a judge of all merit but party, distinguished the Doctor +among other juniors in our University, for his learning, virtue, +discretion, and good sense. But the Doctor was then in too good a +situation at his college, to hope or endeavour at a better +establishment, from one who had no power to give it him. + +Upon the present Lord-Lieutenant's coming over, the Doctor was named to +his Excellency by a friend,[166] among other clergy of distinction, as +persons whose characters it was proper his Excellency should know: And +by the truth of which the giver would be content to stand or fall in his +Excellency's opinion; since not one of those persons were in particular +friendship with the gentleman who gave in their names. By this and some +other incidents, particularly the recommendation of the late Archbishop +of Dublin,[167] the Doctor became known to his Excellency; whose fatal +turn of mind toward heathenish and outlandish books and languages, +finding, as I conceive a like disposition in the Doctor, was the cause +of his becoming so domestic, as we are told he is, at the Castle of +Dublin. + +Three or four years ago, the Doctor grown weary of an academic life, +for some reasons best known to the managers of the discipline in that +learned society (which it may not be for their honour to mention[168]) +resolved to leave it, although by the benefit of the pupils, and his +senior-fellowship with all its perquisites, he received every year +between nine hundred and a thousand pounds. + +And a small northern living, in the University's donation, of somewhat +better than hundred pounds a year, falling at the same time with the +Chancellorship of Christ-Church, to about equal the value, in the gift +of his Excellency, the Doctor ventured into the world in a very scanty +condition, having squandered away all his annual income in a manner, +which although perhaps proper enough for a clergyman without a family, +will not be for the advantage of his character to discover either on the +exchange, or at a banker's shop. + +About two months ago, his Excellency gave the Doctor a prebend in St. +Patrick's Cathedral; which being of near the same value with either of +the two former, will add a third part to his revenues, after he shall +have paid the great incumbrances upon it; so that he may now be said to +possess of Church preferments in scattered tithes, three hundred pounds +a year, instead of the like sum of infallible rents from a senior +fellowship with the offices annexed; beside the advantage of a free +lodging, and some other easements. + +But since the Doctor hath not in any of his writings, his sermons, his +actions, his discourse, or his company, discovered one single principle +of either Whig or Tory; and that the Lord Lieutenant still continues to +admit him; I shall boldly pronounce him _ONE OF US_: but like a new +free-mason, who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the mystery. +Neither can he justly be accused of any Tory doctrines, except perhaps +some among those few, with which that wicked party was charged, during +the height of their power; but have been since transferred for the most +solid reasons, to the whole body of our firmest friends. + +I have now done with the clergy; And upon the strictest examination have +not been able to find above one of that order, against whom any party +suspicion can lie, which is the unfortunate gentleman, Doctor Sheridan, +who by mere chance-medley shot his own fortune dead with a single text. + +As to the laity I can hear of but one person of the Tory stamp, who +since the beginning of his Excellency's government, did ever receive any +solid mark of his favour; I mean Sir Arthur Acheson,[169] reported to be +an acknowledged Tory, and what is almost as bad, a scholar into the +bargain. It is whispered about as a certain truth, that this gentleman +is to have a grant of a certain barrack upon his estate, within two +miles of his own house; for which the Crown is to be his tenant, at the +rent of sixty pounds _per annum_; he being only at the expense of about +five hundred pounds, to put the house in repair, build stables, and +other necessaries. I will place this invidious mark of beneficence, +conferred on a Tory, in a fair light, by computing the costs and +necessary defalcations; after which it may be seen how much Sir Arthur +will be annually a clear gainer by the public, notwithstanding his +unfortunate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and Latin. + + For repairs, &c. _500l._ the interest whereof _per ann._ 30 0 0 + For all manner of poultry to furnish the troopers, + but which the said troopers must be at the + labour of catching, valued _per ann._ 5 0 0 + For straggling sheep, 8 0 0 + For game destroyed five miles round, 6 0 0 + -------- + 49 0 0 + + Rent paid to Sir Arthur, 60 0 0 + Deduct 49 0 0 + ------ + Remains clear, 11 0 0 + ------ + +Thus, if Sir Arthur Acheson shall have the good fortune to obtain a +grant of this barrack, he will receive net profit annually from the +Crown ELEVEN pounds sterling to help him in entertaining the officers, +and making provisions for his younger children. + +It is true, there is another advantage to be expected, which may fully +compensate the loss of cattle and poultry; by multiplying the breed of +mankind, and particularly of good Protestants, in a part of the Kingdom +half depopulated by the wild humour among the farmers there, of leaving +their country. But I am not so skilful in arithmetic, as to compute the +value. + +I have reckoned one _per cent._ below the legal interest for the money +that Sir Arthur must expend, and valued the damage in the other articles +very moderately. However, I am confident he may with good management be +a saver at least; which is a prodigious instance of moderation in our +friends toward a professed Tory, whatever merit he may pretend by the +unwillingness he hath shewn to make his Excellency uneasy in his +administration. + +Thus I have with the utmost impartiality collected every single favour, +(further than personal civilities) conferred by his Excellency on +Tories, and reputed Tories, since his first arrival hither to this +present 13th day of April, in the year of our Lord 1730, giving all +allowance possible to the arguments on the other side of the question. + + * * * * * + + And the account will stand thus. + +Disposed of preferments and employments to Tories, or reputed Tories, by +his Excellency the Lord Lieutenant in about the space of six years. + + To Doctor Thomas Sheridan in a rectory near + Kinsale, _per ann._ 100 0 0 + To Sir Arthur Acheson, Baronet, a barrack, + _per ann._ 11 0 0 + ----------- + 111 0 0 + ----------- + +Give me leave now to compute in gross the value of the favours done by +his Excellency to the true friends of their King and Country, and of the +Protestant religion. + +It is to be remembered, that although his Excellency cannot be properly +said to bestow bishoprics, commands in the army, the place of a judge, +or commissioner in the revenue, and some others; yet they are, for the +most part, disposed upon his recommendation, except where the persons +are immediately sent from England by their interest at Court, for which +I have allowed large defalcations in the following accounts. And it is +remarkable that the only considerable station conferred on a reputed +Tory since his present Excellency's government was of this latter kind. + +And indeed it is but too remarkable, that in a neighbouring nation, +(where that dangerous denomination of men is incomparably more numerous, +more powerful, and of consequence more formidable) real Tories can often +with much less difficulty obtain very high favours from the Government, +than their reputed brethren can arrive to the lowest in ours. I observe +this with all possible submission to the wisdom of their policy, which, +however, will not I believe, dispute the praise of vigilance with ours. + + WHIG Account. + + To persons promoted to bishoprics, or removed + to more beneficial ones, computed + _per ann._ 10050 0 0 + To civil employments, 9030 0 0 + To military commands, 8436 0 0 + ----------- + 27516 0 0 + + TORY Account. + + To Tories 111 0 0 + ----------- + Balance 27405 0 0 + ----------- + +I shall conclude with this observation. That, as I think, the Tories +have sufficient reason to be fully satisfied with the share of trust, +and power, and employments which they possess under the lenity of the +present Government; so, I do not find how his Excellency can be justly +censured for favouring none but High-Church, high-fliers, termagants, +Laudists, Sacheverellians, tip-top-gallant-men, Jacobites, tantivies, +anti-Hanoverians, friends to Popery and the Pretender, and to arbitrary +power, disobligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY, inflamers of +quarrels between the two nations, public incendiaries, enemies to the +King and Kingdoms, haters of TRUE Protestants, laurelmen, Annists, +complainers of the Nation's poverty, Ormondians, iconoclasts, +anti-Glorious-memorists, white-rosalists, tenth-a-Junians, and the like: +when by a fair state of the account, the balance, I conceive, plainly +lies on the other side.[170] + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR + +AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION, + +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT. + +BY WHICH THE NUMBER OF LANDED GENTRY AND SUBSTANTIAL FARMERS WILL BE +CONSIDERABLY INCREASED, AND NO ONE PERSON WILL BE THE POORER, OR +CONTRIBUTE ONE FARTHING TO THE CHARGE. + + + + + NOTE. + + + In volume three of the present edition two tracts are given + relating to attempts made by the bishops of Ireland for enlarging + their powers. These tracts are entitled: "On the Bill for the + Clergy's residing on their Livings," and "Considerations upon two + Bills, sent down from the House of Lords and the House of Commons + in Ireland relating to the Clergy of Ireland" (pp. 249-272). The + bills which Swift argued against were evidently intended to give + the bishops further powers and increased opportunities for making + money. (The matter is gone into at length in the notes prefixed to + the above reprints.) The bishops sought rights which would enable + them to obtain large powers in letting leases, and their eagerness + to get such powers, coupled with the efforts they expended, showed + that they had less regard for the Church's interest than for their + own. + + In the present tract Swift, with his usual assumption of grave + consideration of an important question, but in reality with cutting + irony, proposes to dispose of all the Church lands for a lump sum, + give the bishops their full just share, including the amount of + fines for possible renewals of leases, and, at the same time, pay + off the national debt with the money that remains. With an air of + strict seriousness he solemnly computes the exact sums obtainable, + and impartially divides the amounts with accurate care. Then, with + a dig at the strangers England was continually sending to Irish + preferments, among whom he counts himself, he concludes by saying + that although the interests of such cannot be expected to be those + of the country to which they have been translated, yet he, as one + of them, is quite willing, and indeed feels himself in duty bound + "to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well + received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing + to reduce this excellent proposal into a law ... my sincere + endeavours to serve this Church and kingdom will be rewarded." + + * * * * * + + The text of this pamphlet is based on that given at the end of the + volume containing the first edition of "Considerations upon two + Bills," etc., published in 1732. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION, +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT. + + +The debts contracted some years past for the service and safety of the +nation, are grown so great, that under our present distressed condition +by the want of trade, the great remittances to pay absentees, regiments +serving abroad, and many other drains of money, well enough known and +felt; the kingdom seems altogether unable to discharge them by the +common methods of payment: And either a poll or land tax would be too +odious to think of, especially the latter, because the lands, which have +been let for these ten or dozen years past, were raised so high, that +the owners can, at present, hardly receive any rent at all. For, it is +the usual practice of an Irish tenant, rather than want land, to offer +more for a farm than he knows he can be ever able to pay, and in that +case he grows desperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-tax +upon a racked estate would be a burthen wholly insupportable. + +The question will then be, how these national debts can be paid, and how +I can make good the several particulars of my proposal, which I shall +now lay open to the public. + +The revenues of their Graces and Lordships the Archbishops and Bishops +of this kingdom (excluding the fines) do amount by a moderate +computation to _36,800l._ _per ann._ I mean the rents which the +bishops receive from their tenants. But the real value of those lands +at a full rent, taking the several sees one with another, is reckoned +to be at least three-fourths more, so that multiplying _36,800l._ by +four, the full rent of all the bishops' lands will amount to +_147,200l._ _per ann._ from which subtracting the present rent +received by their lordships, that is _36,800l._ the profits of the +lands received by the first and second tenants (who both have great +bargains) will rise to the sum of _110,400l._ _per ann._ which lands, +if they were to be sold at twenty-two years' purchase, would raise a +sum of _2,428,800l._ reserving to the Bishops their present rents, +only excluding fines.[171] + +Of this sum I propose, that out of the one-half which amounts to +_1,214,400l._ so much be applied as will entirely discharge the debts of +the nation, and the remainder laid up in the treasury, to supply +contingencies, as well as to discharge some of our heavy taxes, until +the kingdom shall be in a better condition. + +But whereas the present set of bishops would be great losers by this +scheme for want of their fines, which would be hard treatment to such +religious, loyal and deserving personages, I have therefore set apart +the other half to supply that defect, which it will more than +sufficiently do. + +A bishop's lease for the full term, is reckoned to be worth eleven +years' purchase, but if we take the bishops round, I suppose, there may +be four years of each lease elapsed, and many of the bishops being well +stricken in years, I cannot think their lives round to be worth more +than seven years' purchase; so that the purchasers may very well afford +fifteen years' purchase for the reversion, especially by one great +additional advantage, which I shall soon mention. + +This sum of _2,428,800l._ must likewise be sunk very considerably, +because the lands are to be sold only at fifteen years' purchase, and +this lessens the sum to about _1,656,000l._ of which I propose twelve +hundred thousand pounds to be applied partly for the payment of the +national debt, and partly as a fund for future exigencies, and the +remaining _456,000l._ I propose as a fund for paying the present set of +bishops their fines, which it will abundantly do, and a great part +remain as an addition to the public stock. + +Although the bishops round do not in reality receive three fines +a-piece, which take up 21 years, yet I allow it to be so; but then I +will suppose them to take but one year's rent, in recompense of giving +them so large a term of life, and thus multiplying _36,800l._ by 3 the +product will be only _110,400l._ so that above three-fourths will remain +to be applied to public use. + +If I have made wrong computations, I hope to be excused, as a stranger +to the kingdom, which I never saw till I was called to an employment, +and yet where I intend to pass the rest of my days; but I took care to +get the best information I could, and from the most proper persons; +however, the mistakes I may have been guilty of, will very little affect +the main of my proposal, although they should cause a difference of one +hundred thousand pounds more or less. + +These fines, are only to be paid to the bishop during his incumbency in +the same see; if he changeth it for a better, the purchasers of the +vacant see lands, are to come immediately into possession of the see he +hath left, and both the bishop who is removed, and he who comes into his +place, are to have no more fines, for the removed bishop will find his +account by a larger revenue; and the other see will find candidates +enough. For the law maxim will here have place, that _caveat_, &c. I +mean the persons who succeed may choose whether they will accept or no. + +As to the purchasers, they will probably be tenants to the see, who are +already in possession, and can afford to give more than any other +bidders. + +I will further explain myself. If a person already a bishop, be removed +into a richer see, he must be content with the bare revenues, without +any fines, and so must he who comes into a bishopric vacant by death: +And this will bring the matter sooner to bear; which if the Crown shall +think fit to countenance, will soon change the present set of bishops, +and consequently encourage purchasers of their lands. For example, If a +Primate should die, and the gradation be wisely made, almost the whole +set of bishops might be changed in a month, each to his great advantage, +although no fines were to be got, and thereby save a great part of that +sum which I have appropriated towards supplying the deficiency of fines. + +I have valued the bishops' lands two years' purchase above the usual +computed rate, because those lands will have a sanction from the King +and Council in England, and be confirmed by an Act of Parliament here; +besides, it is well known, that higher prices are given every day, for +worse lands, at the remotest distances, and at rack rents, which I take +to be occasioned by want of trade, when there are few borrowers, and the +little money in private hands lying dead, there is no other way to +dispose of it but in buying of land, which consequently makes the owners +hold it so high. + +Besides paying the nation's debts, the sale of these lands would have +many other good effects upon the nation; it will considerably increase +the number of gentry, where the bishops' tenants are not able or willing +to purchase; for the lands will afford an hundred gentlemen a good +revenue to each; several persons from England will probably be glad to +come over hither, and be the buyers, rather than give thirty years' +purchase at home, under the loads of taxes for the public and the poor, +as well as repairs, by which means much money may be brought among us, +and probably some of the purchasers themselves may be content to live +cheap in a worse country, rather than be at the charge of exchange and +agencies, and perhaps of non-solvencies in absence, if they let their +lands too high. + +This proposal will also multiply farmers, when the purchasers will have +lands in their own power, to give long and easy leases to industrious +husbandmen. + +I have allowed some bishoprics of equal income to be of more or less +value to the purchaser, according as they are circumstanced. For +instance, The lands of the primacy and some other sees, are let so low, +that they hardly pay a fifth penny of the real value to the bishop, and +there the fines are the greater. On the contrary, the sees of Meath and +Clonfert, consisting, as I am told, much of tithes, those tithes are +annually let to the tenants without any fines. So the see of Dublin is +said to have many fee-farms which pay no fines, and some leases for +lives which pay very little, and not so soon nor so duly. + +I cannot but be confident, that their Graces my Lords the Archbishops, +and my Lords the Bishops will heartily join in this proposal, out of +gratitude to his late and present Majesty, the best of Kings, who have +bestowed such high and opulent stations, as well as in pity to this +country which is now become their own; whereby they will be instrumental +towards paying the nation's debts, without impoverishing themselves, +enrich an hundred gentlemen, as well as free them from dependence, and +thus remove that envy which is apt to fall upon their Graces and +Lordships from considerable persons, whose birth and fortunes rather +qualify them to be lords of manors, than servile dependants upon +Churchmen however dignified or distinguished. + +If I do not flatter myself, there could not be any law more popular than +this; for the immediate tenants to bishops, being some of them persons +of quality, and good estates, and more of them grown up to be gentlemen +by the profits of these very leases, under a succession of bishops, +think it a disgrace to be subject both to rents and fines, at the +pleasure of their landlords. Then the bulk of the tenants, especially +the dissenters, who are our loyal Protestant brethren, look upon it both +as an unnatural and iniquitous thing that bishops should be owners of +land at all; (wherein I beg to differ from them) being a point so +contrary to the practice of the Apostles, whose successors they are +deemed to be, and who although they were contented that land should be +sold, for the common use of the brethren, yet would not buy it +themselves, but had it laid at their feet, to be distributed to poor +proselytes. + +I will add one word more, that by such a wholesome law, all the +oppressions felt by under-tenants of Church leases, which are now laid +on by the bishops would entirely be prevented, by their Graces and +Lordships consenting to have their lands sold for payment of the +nation's debts, reserving only the present rent for their own plentiful +and honourable support. + +I beg leave to add one particular, that, when heads of a Bill (as I find +the style runs in this kingdom) shall be brought in for forming this +proposal into a law; I should humbly offer that there might be a power +given to every bishop (except those who reside in Dublin) for applying +one hundred acres of profitable land that lies nearest to his palace, as +a demesne for the conveniency of his family. + +I know very well, that this scheme hath been much talked of for some +time past, and is in the thoughts of many patriots, neither was it +properly mine, although I fell readily into it, when it was first +communicated to me. + +Though I am almost a perfect stranger in this kingdom, yet since I have +accepted an employment here, of some consequence as well as profit, I +cannot but think myself in duty bound to consult the interest of a +people, among whom I have been so well received. And if I can be any way +instrumental towards contributing to reduce this excellent proposal into +a law which being not in the least injurious to England, will, I am +confident, meet with no opposition from that side, my sincere endeavours +to serve this Church and kingdom will be well rewarded. + + + + +A CASE SUBMITTED BY DEAN SWIFT TO MR. LINDSAY, COUNSELLOR AT LAW.[172] + + +A. B. agent for J. S. comes to desire J. S. to sign an assignment of a +lease in order to be registered for the security of _38l._ J. S. asks +A. B. to show him the lease A. B. says he left it at home. J. S. asks the +said A. B. how many years of the lease are unexpired? what rent the +tenant pays, and how much below the rack value? and what number of acres +there are upon the farm? To each of which questions the agent A. B. +answers categorically, that he cannot tell, and that he did not think J. +would ask him such questions. The said A. B. was asked how he came two +years after the lease was assigned, and not sooner, to have it +registered. A. B. answers, that he could not sue till the assignment. + +Query, Whether the said agent A. B. made any one answer like a man of +business? + + + + +AN + +EXAMINATION + +OF + +CERTAIN ABUSES, CORRUPTIONS, AND ENORMITIES + +IN THE CITY OF DUBLIN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Like many of Swift's satirical writings the title of this tract is + no indication to its subject-matter. Whatever "abuses, corruptions + and enormities" may have been rife in the city of Dublin in Swift's + time, the pamphlet which follows certainly throws no light on them. + It is in no sense a social document. But it is a very amusing and + excellent piece of jeering at the fancied apprehensions that were + rife about the Pretender, the "disaffected" people, and the + Jacobites. It is aimed at the Whigs, who were continually using the + party cries of "No Popery," "Jacobitism," and the other cognate + expressions to distress their political opponents. At the same + time, these cries had their effects, and created a great deal of + mischief. The Roman Catholics, in particular, were cruelly treated + because of the anxiety for the Protestant succession, and among the + lower tradesmen, for whom such cries would be of serious meaning, a + petty persecution against their Roman Catholic fellow-tradesmen + continually prevailed. Monck Mason draws attention to some curious + instances. (See his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 399, + note y.) + + In the "Journals of the Irish House of Commons" (vol. ii., p. 77) + is the record of a petition presented in the year 1695, by the + Protestant porters of the city of Dublin, against one Darby Ryan, + "a papist and notoriously disaffected." This Ryan was complained of + for employing those of his own persuasion and affection to carry a + cargo of coals he had bought, to his own customers. The petitioners + complained that they, Protestants, were "debased and hindered from + their small trade and gains." Another set of petitioners was the + drivers of hackney coaches. They complained that, "before the late + trouble, they got a livelihood by driving coaches in and about the + city of Dublin, but since that time, so many papists had got + coaches, and drove them with such ordinary horses, that the + petitioners could hardly get bread.... They therefore prayed the + house that none but Protestant hackney-coachmen may have liberty to + keep and drive hackney-coaches." Swift may have had these instances + in his mind when he urges that the criers who cry their wares in + Dublin should be True Protestants, and should give security to the + government for permission to cry. + + In a country where such absurd complaints could be seriously + presented, and as seriously considered, a genuine apprehension must + have existed. The Whigs in making capital out of this existing + feeling stigmatized their Tory opponents as High Churchmen, and + therefore very little removed from Papists, and therefore + Jacobites. Of course there were no real grounds for such epithets, + but they indulged in them nevertheless, with the addition of + insinuations and suggestions--no insinuation being too feeble or + too far-fetched so long as it served. + + Swift, writing in the person of a Whig, affects extreme anxiety for + the most ridiculous of signs, and finds a Papist, or a Jacobite, + or a disaffected person, in the least likely of places. The tract, + in this light, is a really amusing piece. Swift takes the + opportunity also to hit Walpole, under a pretended censure of his + extravagance, corruption, and avarice. + + * * * * * + + The text here given of this tract is based on that of the original + edition issued in Dublin in 1732. The last paragraph, however, does + not appear in that edition, and is reprinted here from Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN + +EXAMINATION + +OF CERTAIN + +_Abuses, Corruptions,_ + +AND + +_ENORMITIES_ + +IN THE + +City of _DUBLIN_. + +[Illustration] + +_Dublin_: Printed in the Year 1732. + + + + +Nothing is held more commendable in all great cities, especially the +metropolis of a kingdom, than what the French call the police; by which +word is meant the government thereof, to prevent the many disorders +occasioned by great numbers of people and carriages, especially through +narrow streets. In this government our famous City of Dublin is said to +be very defective, and universally complained of. Many wholesome laws +have been enacted to correct those abuses, but are ill executed; and +many more are wanting, which I hope the united wisdom of the nation +(whereof so many good effects have already appeared this session) will +soon take into their most profound consideration. + +As I have been always watchful over the good of mine own country, and +particularly for that of our renowned city, where (_absit invidia_) I +had the honour to draw my first breath[173]; I cannot have a minute's +ease or patience to forbear enumerating some of the greatest enormities, +abuses, and corruptions, spread almost through every part of Dublin; and +proposing such remedies as, I hope, the legislature will approve of. + +The narrow compass to which I have confined myself in this paper, will +allow me only to touch at the most important defects, and such as I +think seem to require the most speedy redress. + +And first, perhaps there was never known a wiser institution than that +of allowing certain persons of both sexes, in large and populous cities, +to cry through the streets many necessaries of life; it would be endless +to recount the conveniences which our city enjoys by this useful +invention, and particularly strangers, forced hither by business, who +reside here but a short time; for, these having usually but little +money, and being wholly ignorant of the town, might at an easy price +purchase a tolerable dinner, if the several criers would pronounce the +names of the goods they have to sell, in any tolerable language. And +therefore till our law-makers shall think it proper to interpose so far +as to make these traders pronounce their words in such terms, that a +plain Christian hearer may comprehend what is cried, I would advise all +new comers to look out at their garret windows, and there see whether +the thing that is cried be tripes or flummery, butter-milk or cow-heels. +For, as things are now managed, how is it possible for an honest +countryman, just arrived, to find out what is meant, for instance, by +the following words, with which his ears are constantly stunned twice a +day, "Mugs, jugs and porringers, up in the garret, and down in the +cellar." I say, how is it possible for any stranger to understand that +this jargon is meant as an invitation to buy a farthing's worth of milk +for his breakfast or supper, unless his curiosity draws him to the +window, or till his landlady shall inform him. I produce this only as +one instance, among a hundred much worse, I mean where the words make a +sound wholly inarticulate, which give so much disturbance, and so little +information. + +The affirmation solemnly made in the cry of herrings, is directly +against all truth and probability, "Herrings alive, alive here." The +very proverb will convince us of this; for what is more frequent in +ordinary speech, than to say of some neighbour for whom the passing-bell +rings, that he is dead as a herring. And, pray how is it possible, that +a herring, which as philosophers observe, cannot live longer than one +minute, three seconds and a half out of water, should bear a voyage in +open boats from Howth to Dublin, be tossed into twenty hands, and +preserve its life in sieves for several hours. Nay, we have witnesses +ready to produce, that many thousands of these herrings, so impudently +asserted to be alive, have been a day and a night upon dry land. But +this is not the worst. What can we think of those impious wretches, who +dare in the face of the sun, vouch the very same affirmative of their +salmon, and cry, "Salmon alive, alive;" whereas, if you call the woman +who cries it, she is not ashamed to turn back her mantle, and shew you +this individual salmon cut into a dozen pieces. I have given good advice +to these infamous disgracers of their sex and calling, without the least +appearance of remorse, and fully against the conviction of their own +consciences. I have mentioned this grievance to several of our parish +ministers, but all in vain; so that it must continue until the +government shall think fit to interpose. + +There is another cry, which, from the strictest observation I can make, +appears to be very modern, and it is that of sweethearts,[174] and is +plainly intended for a reflection upon the female sex, as if there were +at present so great a dearth of lovers, that the women instead of +receiving presents from men, were now forced to offer money, to purchase +sweethearts. Neither am I sure, that the cry doth not glance at some +disaffection against the government; insinuating, that while so many of +our troops are engaged in foreign service, and such a great number of +our gallant officers constantly reside in England, the ladies are forced +to take up with parsons and attorneys: But, this is a most unjust +reflection, as may soon be proved by any person who frequents the +Castle, our public walks, our balls and assemblies, where the crowds of +_toupees_[175] were never known to swarm as they do at present. + +There is a cry, peculiar to this City, which I do not remember to have +been used in London, or at least, not in the same terms that it has been +practised by both parties, during each of their power; but, very +unjustly by the Tories. While these were at the helm, they grew daily +more and more impatient to put all true Whigs and Hanoverians out of +employments. To effect which, they hired certain ordinary fellows, with +large baskets on their shoulders, to call aloud at every house, "Dirt to +carry out;" giving that denomination to our whole party, as if they +would signify, that the kingdom could never be cleansed, till we were +swept from the earth like rubbish. But, since that happy turn of times, +when we were so miraculously preserved by just an inch, from Popery, +slavery, massacre, and the Pretender, I must own it prudence in us, +still to go on with the same cry, which hath ever since been so +effectually observed, that the true political dirt is wholly removed, +and thrown on its proper dunghills, there to corrupt, and be no more +heard of. + +But, to proceed to other enormities: Every person who walks the streets, +must needs observe the immense number of human excrements at the doors +and steps of waste houses, and at the sides of every dead wall; for +which the disaffected party have assigned a very false and malicious +cause. They would have it, that these heaps were laid there privately by +British fundaments, to make the world believe, that our Irish vulgar do +daily eat and drink; and, consequently, that the clamour of poverty +among us, must be false, proceeding only from Jacobites and Papists. +They would confirm this, by pretending to observe, that a British anus +being more narrowly perforated than one of our own country; and many of +these excrements upon a strict view appearing copple crowned, with a +point like a cone or pyramid, are easily distinguished from the +Hibernian, which lie much flatter, and with lest continuity. I +communicated this conjecture to an eminent physician, who is well versed +in such profound speculations; and at my request was pleased to make +trial with each of his fingers, by thrusting them into the anus of +several persons of both nations, and professed he could find no such +difference between them as those ill-disposed people allege. On the +contrary, he assured me, that much the greater number of narrow cavities +were of Hibernian origin. This I only mention to shew how ready the +Jacobites are to lay hold of any handle to express their malice against +the government. I had almost forgot to add, that my friend the physician +could, by smelling each finger, distinguish the Hibernian excrement from +the British, and was not above twice mistaken in an hundred experiments; +upon which he intends very soon to publish a learned dissertation. + +There is a diversion in this City, which usually begins among the +butchers, but is often continued by a succession of other people, +through many streets. It is called the COSSING of a dog; and I may +justly number it among our corruptions. The ceremony is this: A strange +dog happens to pass through a flesh-market; whereupon an expert butcher +immediately cries in a loud voice, and the proper tone, "Coss, coss," +several times: The same word is repeated by the people. The dog, who +perfectly understands the terms of art, and consequently the danger he +is in, immediately flies. The people, and even his own brother animals +pursue; the pursuit and cry attend him perhaps half a mile; he is well +worried in his flight, and sometimes hardly escapes. This, our +ill-wishers of the Jacobite kind, are pleased to call a persecution; and +affirm, that it always falls upon dogs of the Tory principle. But, we +can well defend ourselves, by justly alleging that when they were +uppermost, they treated our dogs full as inhumanly: As to my own part, +who have in former times often attended these processions, although I +can very well distinguish between a Whig and Tory dog, yet I never +carried my resentments very far upon a party principle, except it were +against certain malicious dogs, who most discovered their malice against +us in the _worst of times_.[176] And, I remember too well, that in the +wicked ministry of the Earl of Oxford, a large mastiff of our party +being unmercifully cossed, ran, without thinking, between my legs, as I +was coming up Fishamble Street; and, as I am of low stature, with very +short legs, bore me riding backwards down the hill, for above two +hundred yards: And, although I made use of his tail for a bridle, +holding it fast with both my hands, and clung my legs as close to his +sides as I could, yet we both came down together into the middle of the +kennel; where after rolling three or four times over each other, I got +up with much ado, amid the shouts and huzzas of a thousand malicious +Jacobites: I cannot, indeed, but gratefully acknowledge, that for this +and many other services and sufferings, I have been since more than +over-paid. + +This adventure may, perhaps, have put me out of love with the diversions +of cossing, which I confess myself an enemy to, unless we could always +be sure of distinguishing Tory dogs; whereof great numbers have since +been so prudent, as entirely to change their principles, and are now +justly esteemed the best worriers of their former friends. + +I am assured, and partly know, that all the chimney-sweepers' boys, +where Members of Parliament chiefly lodge, are hired by our enemies to +skulk in the tops of chimneys, with their heads no higher than will just +permit them to look round; and at the usual hours when members are going +to the House, if they see a coach stand near the lodging of any loyal +member, they call "Coach, coach," as loud as they can bawl, just at the +instant when the footman begins to give the same call. And this is +chiefly done on those days, when any point of importance is to be +debated. This practice may be of very dangerous consequence. For, these +boys are all hired by enemies to the government; and thus, by the +absence of a few members for a few minutes, a question may be carried +against the true interest of the kingdom, and very probably, not without +any eye toward the Pretender. + +I have not observed the wit and fancy of this town, so much employed in +any one article, as that of contriving variety of signs to hang over +houses, where punch is to be sold. The bowl is represented full of +punch, the ladle stands erect in the middle, supported sometimes by one, +and sometimes by two animals, whose feet rest upon the edge of the bowl. +These animals are sometimes one black lion, and sometimes a couple; +sometimes a single eagle, and sometimes a spread one, and we often meet +a crow, a swan, a bear, or a cock, in the same posture. + +Now, I cannot find how any of these animals, either separate, or in +conjunction, are properly speaking, either fit emblems or +embellishments, to advance the sale of punch. Besides, it is agreed +among naturalists, that no brute can endure the taste of strong liquor, +except where he hath been used to it from his infancy: And, +consequently, it is against all the rules of hieroglyph, to assign those +animals as patrons, or protectors of punch. For, in that case, we ought +to suppose, that the host keeps always ready the real bird, or beast, +whereof the picture hangs over his door, to entertain his guest; which, +however, to my knowledge, is not true in fact. For not one of those +birds is a proper companion for a Christian, as to aiding and assisting +in making the punch. For the birds, as they are drawn upon the sign, are +much more likely to mute, or shed their feathers into the liquor. Then, +as to the bear, he is too terrible, awkward, and slovenly a companion to +converse with; neither are any of them at all, handy enough to fill +liquor to the company: I do, therefore, vehemently suspect a plot +intended against the Government, by these devices. For, although the +spread-eagle be the arms of Germany, upon which account it may possibly +be a lawful Protestant sign; yet I, who am very suspicious of fair +outsides, in a matter which so nearly concerns our welfare, cannot but +call to mind, that the Pretender's wife is said to be of German birth: +And that many Popish Princes, in so vast an extent of land, are reported +to excel both at making and drinking punch. Besides, it is plain, that +the spread-eagle exhibits to us the perfect figure of a cross, which is +a badge of Popery. Then, as to the cock, he is well known to represent +the French nation, our old and dangerous enemy. The swan, who must of +necessity cover the entire bowl with his wings, can be no other than the +Spaniard, who endeavours to engross all the treasures of the Indies to +himself. The lion is indeed, the common emblem of Royal power, as well +as the arms of England; but to paint him black, is perfect Jacobitism, +and a manifest type of those who blacken the actions of the best +Princes. It is not easy to distinguish, whether the other fowl painted +over the punch-bowl, be a crow or raven? It is true, they have both been +held ominous birds; but I rather take it to be the former; because it is +the disposition of a crow, to pick out the eyes of other creatures; and +often even of Christians, after they are dead; and is therefore drawn +here, with a design to put the Jacobites in mind of their old practice, +first to lull us asleep, (which is an emblem of Death) and then to blind +our eyes, that we may not see their dangerous practices against the +State. + +To speak my private opinion, the least offensive picture in the whole +set, seems to be the bear; because he represents _ursa major_, or the +Great Bear, who presides over the North, where the Reformation first +began, and which, next to Britain, (including Scotland and the north of +Ireland) is the great protector of the Protestant religion. But, +however, in those signs where I observe the bear to be chained, I can't +help surmising a Jacobite contrivance, by which these traitors hint an +earnest desire of using all true Whigs, as the predecessors did the +primitive Christians; I mean, to represent us as bears, and then halloo +their Tory dogs to bait us to death. + +Thus I have given a fair account of what I dislike, in all those signs +set over those houses that invite us to punch: I own it was a matter +that did not need explaining, being so very obvious to the most common +understanding. Yet, I know not how it happens, but methinks there seems +a fatal blindness, to overspread our corporeal eyes, as well as our +intellectual; and I heartily wish, I may be found a false prophet; for, +these are not bare suspicions, but manifest demonstrations. + +Therefore, away with those Popish, Jacobite, and idolatrous gew-gaws. +And I heartily wish a law were enacted, under severe penalties, against +drinking any punch at all. For nothing is easier, than to prove it a +disaffected liquor. The chief ingredients, which are brandy, oranges, +and lemons, are all sent us from Popish countries; and nothing remains +of Protestant growth but sugar and water. For, as to biscuit, which +formerly was held a necessary ingredient, and is truly British, we find +it is entirely rejected. + +But I will put the truth of my assertion, past all doubt: I mean, that +this liquor is by one important innovation, grown of ill example, and +dangerous consequence to the public. It is well known, that, by the true +original institution of making punch, left us by Captain Ratcliffe, the +sharpness is only occasioned by the juice of lemons, and so continued +till after the happy Revolution. Oranges, alas! are a mere innovation, +and in a manner but of yesterday. It was the politics of Jacobites to +introduce them gradually: And, to what intent? The thing speaks itself. +It was cunningly to shew their virulence against his sacred Majesty King +William, of ever glorious and immortal memory. But of late, (to shew how +fast disloyalty increaseth) they came from one or two, and then to three +oranges; nay, at present we often find punch made all with oranges, and +not one single lemon. For the Jacobites, before the death of that +immortal Prince, had, by a superstition, formed a private prayer, that, +as they squeezed the orange, so might that Protestant King be squeezed +to death[177]: According to that known sorcery described by Virgil, + + Limus ut hic durescit, et hĉc ut cera liquescit, &c. + [Ecl. viii. 80.] + +And, thus the Romans, when they sacrificed an ox, used this kind of +prayer. "As I knock down this ox, so may thou, O Jupiter, knock down our +enemies." In like manner, after King William's death, whenever a +Jacobite squeezed an orange, he had a mental curse upon the "glorious +memory," and a hearty wish for power to squeeze all his Majesty's +friends to death, as he squeezed that orange, which bore one of his +titles, as he was Prince of Orange. This I do affirm for truth; many of +that faction having confessed it to me, under an oath of secrecy; which, +however, I thought it my duty not to keep, when I saw my dear country in +danger. But, what better can be expected from an impious set of men, who +never scruple to drink _confusion_ to all true Protestants, under the +name of Whigs? a most unchristian and inhuman practice, which, to our +great honour and comfort, was never charged upon us, even by our most +malicious detractors. + +The sign of two angels, hovering in the air, and with their right hands +supporting a crown, is met with in several parts of this city; and hath +often given me great offence: For, whether by the unskilfulness, or +dangerous principles of the painters, (although I have good reasons to +suspect the latter) those angels are usually drawn with such horrid +countenances, that they give great offence to every loyal eye, and equal +cause of triumph to the Jacobites being a most infamous reflection upon +our most able and excellent ministry. + +I now return to that great enormity of our city cries; most of which we +have borrowed from London. I shall consider them only in a political +view, as they nearly affect the peace and safety of both kingdoms; and +having been originally contrived by wicked Machiavels, to bring in +Popery, slavery, and arbitrary power, by defeating the Protestant +Succession, and introducing the Pretender, ought, in justice, to be here +laid open to the world. + +About two or three months after the happy Revolution, all persons who +possessed any employment, or office, in Church or State, were obliged by +an Act of Parliament, to take the oaths to King William and Queen Mary: +And a great number of disaffected persons, refusing to take the said +oaths, from a pretended scruple of conscience, but really from a spirit +of Popery and rebellion, they contrived a plot, to make the swearing to +those Princes odious in the eyes of the people. To this end, they hired +certain women of ill fame, but loud shrill voices, under pretence of +selling fish, to go through the streets, with sieves on their heads, and +cry, "Buy my soul, buy my soul;" plainly insinuating, that all those who +swore to King William, were just ready to sell their souls for an +employment. This cry was revived at the death of Queen Anne, and, I +hear, still continues in London, with great offence to all true +Protestants; but, to our great happiness, seems to be almost dropped in +Dublin. + +But, because I altogether contemn the displeasure and resentment of +high-fliers, Tories, and Jacobites, whom I look upon to be worse even +than professed Papists, I do here declare, that those evils which I am +going to mention, were all brought in upon us in the _worst of times_, +under the late Earl of Oxford's administration, during the four last +years of Queen Anne's reign. _That wicked minister was universally known +to be a Papist in his heart. He was of a most avaricious nature, and is +said to have died worth four millions, sterl.[178] besides his vast +expenses in building, statues, gold plate, jewels, and other costly +rarities. He was of a mean obscure birth, from the very dregs of the +people, and so illiterate, that he could hardly read a paper at the +council table. I forbear to touch at his open, profane, profligate life; +because I desire not to rake into the ashes of the dead, and therefore +I shall observe this wise maxim:_ De mortuis nil nisi bonum. + +This flagitious man, in order to compass his black designs, employed +certain wicked instruments (which great statesmen are never without) to +adapt several London cries, in such a manner as would best answer his +ends. And, whereas it was upon grounds grievously suspected, that all +places at Court were sold to the highest bidder: Certain women were +employed by his emissaries, to carry fish in baskets on their heads, and +bawl through the streets, "Buy my fresh places." I must, indeed, own +that other women used the same cry, who were innocent of this wicked +design, and really sold their fish of that denomination to get an honest +livelihood; but the rest, who were in the secret, although they carried +fish in their sieves or baskets, to save appearances; yet they had +likewise, a certain sign, somewhat resembling that of the free-masons, +which the purchasers of places knew well enough, and were directed by +the women whither they were to resort, and make their purchase. And, I +remember very well, how oddly it looked, when we observed many gentlemen +finely dressed, about the Court end of the town, and as far as York +Buildings, where the Lord Treasurer Oxford dwelt, calling the women who +cried "Buy my fresh places," and talking to them in the corner of a +street, after they understood each other's sign: But we never could +observe that any fish was bought. + +Some years before the cries last mentioned, the Duke of Savoy was +reported to have made certain overtures to the Court of England, for +admitting his eldest son by the Duchess of Orleans's daughter, to +succeed to the Crown, as next heir, upon the Pretender's being rejected, +and that son was immediately to turn Protestant. It was confidently +reported, that great numbers of people disaffected to the then +illustrious but now Royal House of Hanover, were in those measures. +Whereupon another set of women were hired by the Jacobite leaders, to +cry through the whole town, "Buy my Savoys, dainty Savoys, curious +Savoys." But, I cannot directly charge the late Earl of Oxford with this +conspiracy, because he was not then chief Minister. However, the wicked +cry still continues in London, and was brought over hither, where it +remains to this day, and in my humble opinion, a very offensive sound to +every true Protestant, who is old enough to remember those dangerous +times. + +During the Ministry of that corrupt and Jacobite earl above-mentioned, +the secret pernicious design of those in power, was to sell Flanders to +France; the consequence of which, must have been the infallible ruin of +the States-General, and would have opened the way for France to obtain +that universal monarchy, after which they have so long aspired; to which +the British dominions must next, after Holland, have been compelled to +submit, and the Protestant religion would be rooted out of the world. + +A design of this vast importance, after long consultation among the +Jacobite grandees, with the Earl of Oxford at their head, was at last +determined to be carried on by the same method with the former; it was +therefore again put in practice; but the conduct of it was chiefly left +to chosen men, whose voices were louder and stronger than those of the +other sex. And upon this occasion, was first instituted in London, that +famous cry of "FLOUNDERS." But the criers were particularly +directed to pronounce the word "Flaunders," and not "Flounders." For, +the country which we now by corruption call Flanders, is in its true +orthography spelt Flaunders, as may be obvious to all who read old +English books. I say, from hence begun that thundering cry, which hath +ever since stunned the ears of all London, made so many children fall +into fits, and women miscarry; "Come buy my fresh flaunders, curious +flaunders, charming flaunders, alive, alive, ho;" which last words can +with no propriety of speech be applied to fish manifestly dead, (as I +observed before in herrings and salmon) but very justly to ten +provinces, which contain many millions of living Christians. And the +application is still closer, when we consider that all the people were +to be taken like fishes in a net; and, by assistance of the Pope, who +sets up to be the universal Fisher of Men, the whole innocent nation, +was, according to our common expression, to be "laid as flat as a +flounder." + +I remember, myself, a particular crier of flounders in London, who +arrived at so much fame for the loudness of his voice, that he had the +honour to be mentioned upon that account, in a comedy. He hath +disturbed me many a morning, before he came within fifty doors of my +lodging. And although I were not in those days so fully apprized of the +designs, which our common enemy had then in agitation, yet, I know not +how, by a secret impulse, young as I was, I could not forbear conceiving +a strong dislike against the fellow; and often said to myself, "This cry +seems to be forged in the Jesuits' school. Alas, poor England! I am +grievously mistaken if there be not some Popish Plot at the bottom." I +communicated my thoughts to an intimate friend, who reproached me with +being too visionary in my speculations: But, it proved afterwards, that +I conjectured right. And I have often since reflected, that if the +wicked faction could have procured only a thousand men, of as strong +lungs as the fellow I mentioned, none can tell how terrible the +consequences might have been, not only to these two Kingdoms, but over +all Europe, by selling Flanders to France. And yet these cries continue +unpunished, both in London and Dublin, although I confess, not with +equal vehemency or loudness, because the reason for contriving this +desperate plot, is, to our great felicity, wholly ceased. + +It is well known, that the majority of the British House of Commons in +the last years of Queen Anne's reign, were in their hearts directly +opposite to the Earl of Oxford's pernicious measures; which put him +under the necessity of bribing them with salaries. Whereupon he had +again recourse to his old politics. And accordingly, his emissaries were +very busy in employing certain artful women of no good life or +conversation, (as it was fully proved before Justice Peyton) to cry that +vegetable commonly called celery, through the town. These women differed +from the common criers of that herb, by some private mark which I could +never learn; but the matter was notorious enough, and sufficiently +talked of, and about the same period was the cry of celery brought over +into this kingdom. But since there is not at this present, the least +occasion to suspect the loyalty of our criers upon that article, I am +content that it may still be tolerated. + +I shall mention but one cry more, which hath any reference to politics; +but is indeed, of all others the most insolent, as well as treasonable, +under our present happy Establishment. I mean that of turnups; not of +turnips, according to the best orthography, but absolutely turnups. +Although this cry be of an older date than some of the preceding +enormities, for it began soon after the Revolution; yet was it never +known to arrive at so great a height, as during the Earl of Oxford's +power. Some people, (whom I take to be private enemies) are, indeed, as +ready as myself to profess their disapprobation of this cry, on pretence +that it began by the contrivance of certain old procuresses, who kept +houses of ill-fame, where lewd women met to draw young men into vice. +And this they pretend to prove by some words in the cry; because, after +the crier had bawled out, "Turnups, ho, buy my dainty turnups," he would +sometimes add the two following verses:-- + + "Turn up the mistress, and turn up the maid, + And turn up the daughter, and be not afraid." + +This, say some political sophists, plainly shews that there can be +nothing further meant in this infamous cry, than an invitation to +lewdness, which indeed, ought to be severely punished in all +well-regulated Governments; but cannot be fairly interpreted as a crime +of State. But, I hope, we are not so weak and blind to be deluded at +this time of day, with such poor evasions. I could, if it were proper, +demonstrate the very time when those two verses were composed, and name +the author, who was no other than the famous Mr. Swan, so well known for +his talent at quibbling, and was as virulent a Jacobite as any in +England. Neither could he deny the fact, when he was taxed for it in my +presence by Sir Harry Button-Colt, and Colonel Davenport, at the Smyrna +coffee-house, on the 10th of June, 1701. Thus it appears to a +demonstration, that those verses were only a blind to conceal the most +dangerous designs of that party, who from the first years after the +happy Revolution, used a cant way of talking in their clubs after this +manner: "We hope, to see the cards shuffled once more, and another king +TURN UP trump:" And, "When shall we meet over a dish of +TURNUPS?" The same term of art was used in their plots against +the government, and in their treasonable letters writ in ciphers, and +deciphered by the famous Dr. Wallis, as you may read in the trials of +those times. This I thought fit to set forth at large, and in so clear +a light, because the Scotch and French authors have given a very +different account of the word TURNUP, but whether out of +ignorance or partiality I shall not decree; because I am sure, the +reader is convinced by my discovery. It is to be observed, that this cry +was sung in a particular manner by fellows in disguise, to give notice +where those traitors were to meet, in order to concert their villainous +designs. + +I have no more to add upon this article, than an humble proposal, that +those who cry this root at present in our streets of Dublin, may be +compelled by the justices of the peace, to pronounce turnip, and not +turnup; for, I am afraid, we have still too many snakes in our bosom; +and it would be well if their cellars were sometimes searched, when the +owners least expect it; for I am not out of fear that _latet anguis in +herbâ_. + +Thus, we are zealous in matters of small moment, while we neglect those +of the highest importance. I have already made it manifest, that all +these cries were contrived in the _worst of times_, under the ministry +of that desperate statesman, Robert, late Earl of Oxford, and for that +very reason ought to be rejected with horror, as begun in the reign of +Jacobites, and may well be numbered among the rags of Popery and +treason: Or if it be thought proper, that these cries must continue, +surely they ought to be only trusted in the hands of true Protestants, +who have given security to the government. + +[Having already spoken of many abuses relating to signposts, I cannot +here omit one more, because it plainly relates to politics; and is, +perhaps, of more dangerous consequence than any of the city cries, +because it directly tends to destroy the succession. It is the sign of +his present Majesty King George the Second, to be met with in many +streets; and yet I happen to be not only the first, but the only, +discoverer of this audacious instance of Jacobitism. And I am confident, +that, if the justices of the peace would please to make a strict +inspection, they might find, in all such houses, before which those +signs are hung up in the manner I have observed, that the landlords were +malignant Papists, or, which is worse, notorious Jacobites. Whoever +views those signs, may read, over his Majesty's head, the following +letters and ciphers, G. R. II., which plainly signifies George, King the +Second, and not King George the Second, or George the Second, King; but +laying the point after the letter G, by which the owner of the house +manifestly shews, that he renounces his allegiance to King George the +Second, and allows him to be only the second king, _inuendo_, that the +Pretender is the first king; and looking upon King George to be only a +kind of second king, or viceroy, till the Pretender shall come over and +seize the kingdom. I appeal to all mankind, whether this be a strained +or forced interpretation of the inscription, as it now stands in almost +every street; whether any decipherer would make the least doubt or +hesitation to explain it as I have done; whether any other Protestant +country would endure so public an instance of treason in the capital +city from such vulgar conspirators; and, lastly, whether Papists and +Jacobites of great fortunes and quality may not probably stand behind +the curtain in this dangerous, open, and avowed design against the +government. But I have performed my duty; and leave the reforming of +these abuses to the wisdom, the vigilance, the loyalty, and activity of +my superiors.][179] + + + + +A SERIOUS AND USEFUL SCHEME + +TO MAKE AN + +HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This piece, included by Sir Walter Scott for the first time among + Swift's writings, was, in the opinion of that editor, indisputably + the work of the Dean of St. Patrick's. The present editor sees no + reason to disagree with this judgement, and it is therefore + reprinted here. The original issue of 1733, printed by Faulkner + contained also Swift's "Petition of the Footmen in and about + Dublin," and had a lengthy advertisement of the Complete Works of + Swift which Faulkner was, at that time, projecting. It is + difficult, however, to understand why the tract was not included in + later editions of Swift's complete works. Sir Walter Scott puts + forward an explanation suggested by Dr. Barrett, who believed the + reason to have been, that this "_jeu d'esprit_ might be interpreted + as casting a slur on an hospital erected upon Lazors-Hill, now on + the Donny-Brook road near Dublin, for the reception of persons + afflicted with incurable maladies." The reason seems a poor one, + though it may have been as Dr. Barrett states. A better argument + might be found from the style and subject matter of the tract + itself. The style is strongly Swift's, and the subject of such an + hospital must certainly have occupied Swift's thoughts at this + time, since he left his fortune for the erection of a similar + building. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that of the volume + issued by Faulkner in 1733, compared with the Dublin reprint of the + following year. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +SERIOUS and USEFUL + +SCHEME, + +To make an + +Hospital for Incurables, + +OF + +Universal Benefit to all His Majesty's Subjects. + + * * * * * + +Humbly addressed to the Rt. Hon. the Lord ----, the Rt. Hon. Sir ----, and +to the Rt. Hon. ----, Esq; + + * * * * * + +To which is added, + +A Petition of the Footmen in and about _Dublin_. + + * * * * * + +_Fĉcunda Culpĉ Secula!_--Hor. + + * * * * * + +Printed at _LONDON_: And, + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by _GEORGE FAULKNER_, and Sold at his Shop in _Essex Street_, +opposite to the _Bridge_, and by _G. Risk_, _G. Ewing_ and _W. Smith_, +Booksellers in _Dame-Street_, 1733. + + + + +There is not any thing which contributes more to the reputation of +particular persons, or to the honour of a nation in general, than +erecting and endowing proper edifices, for the reception of those who +labour under different kinds of distress. The diseased and unfortunate +are thereby delivered from the misery of wanting assistance; and others +are delivered from the misery of beholding them. + +It is certain, that the genius of the people of England is strongly +turned to public charities; and to so noble a degree, that almost in +every part of this great and opulent city, and also in many of the +adjacent villages, we meet with a great variety of hospitals, supported +by the generous contributions of private families, as well as by the +liberality of the public. Some for seamen worn out in the service of +their country, and others for infirm disabled soldiers; some for the +maintenance of tradesmen decayed, and others for their widows and +orphans; some for the service of those who linger under tedious +distempers, and others for such as are deprived of their reason. + +But I find, upon nice inspection, that there is one kind of charity +almost totally disregarded, which, nevertheless, appears to me of so +excellent a nature, as to be at present more wanted, and better +calculated for the ease, quietness, and felicity of this whole kingdom, +than any other can possibly be. I mean an hospital for incurables. + +I must indeed confess, that an endowment of this nature would prove a +very large and perpetual expense. However, I have not the least +diffidence, that I shall be able effectually to convince the world that +my present scheme for such an hospital is very practicable, and must be +very desirable by every one who hath the interest of his country, or his +fellow-creatures, really at heart. + +It is observable, that, although the bodies of human creatures be +affected with an infinite variety of disorders, which elude the power of +medicine, and are often found to be incurable, yet their minds are also +overrun with an equal variety, which no skill, no power, no medicine, +can alter or amend. And I think, that, out of regard to the public peace +and emolument, as well as the repose of many pious and valuable +families, this latter species of incurables ought principally to engage +our attention and beneficence. + +I believe an Hospital for such Incurables will be universally allowed +necessary, if we only consider what numbers of absolute incurables every +profession, rank, and degree, would perpetually produce, which, at +present, are only national grievances, and of which we can have no other +effectual method to purge the kingdom. + +For instance; let any man seriously consider what numbers there are of +incurable fools, incurable knaves, incurable scolds, incurable +scribblers, (besides myself,) incurable coxcombs, incurable infidels, +incurable liars, incurable whores, in all places of public resort:--not +to mention the incurably vain, incurably envious, incurably proud, +incurably affected, incurably impertinent, and ten thousand other +incurables, which I must of necessity pass over in silence, lest I +should swell this essay into a volume. And without doubt, every +unprejudiced person will agree, that, out of mere Christian charity, the +public ought to be eased as much as possible of this troublesome and +intolerable variety of incurables. + +And first, Under the denomination of incurable fools, we may reasonably +expect, that such an hospital would be furnished with considerable +numbers of the growth of our own universities; who, at present, appear +in various professions in the world, under the venerable titles of +physicians, barristers, and ecclesiastics. + +And as those ancient seminaries have been, for some years past, +accounted little better than nurseries of such sort of incurables, it +should seem highly commendable to make some kind of provision for them; +because it is more than probable, that, if they are to be supported by +their own particular merit in their several callings, they must +necessarily acquire but a very indifferent maintenance. + +I would not, willingly, be here suspected to cast reflections on any +order of men, as if I thought that small gains from the profession of +any art or science, were always an undoubted sign of an equally small +degree of understanding; for I profess myself to be somewhat inclined to +a very opposite opinion, having frequently observed, that at the bar, +the pulse, and the pulpit, those who have the least learning or sense to +plead, meet generally with the largest share of promotions and profit: +of which many instances might be produced; but the public seems to want +no conviction in this particular. + +Under the same denominations we may further expect a large and +ridiculous quantity of old rich widows; whose eager and impatient +appetites inflame them with extravagant passions for fellows of a very +different age and complexion from themselves; who purchase contempt and +aversion with good jointures; and being loaded with years, infirmities, +and probably ill humour, are forced to bribe into their embraces such +whose fortunes and characters are equally desperate. + +Besides, our collection of incurable fools would receive an incredible +addition from every one of the following articles. + +From young extravagant heirs; who are just of a competent age to become +the bubbles of jockeys, sportsmen, gamesters, bullies, sharpers, +courtesans, and such sort of honourable pickpockets. + +From misers; who half starve themselves to feed the prodigality of their +heirs, and who proclaim to the world how unworthy they are of possessing +estates, by the wretched and ridiculous methods they take to enjoy them. + +From contentious people, of all conditions; who are content to waste the +greatest part of their own fortunes at law, to be the instruments of +impoverishing others. + +From those who have any confidence in profession of friendship, before +trial; or any dependence on the fidelity of a mistress. + +From young illiterate squires, who travel abroad to import lewdness, +conceit, arrogance, vanity, and foppery; of which commodities there +seems to be so great an abundance at home. + +From young clergymen; who contrive, by matrimony, to acquire a family, +before they have obtained the necessary means to maintain one. + +From those who have considerable estates in different kingdoms, and yet +are so incurably stupid as to spend their whole incomes in this. + +These, and several other articles which might be mentioned, would afford +us a perpetual opportunity of easing the public, by having an hospital +for the accommodation of such incurables; who, at present, either by the +over-fondness of near relations, or the indolence of the magistrates, +are permitted to walk abroad, and appear in the most crowded places of +this city, as if they were indeed reasonable creatures. + +I had almost forgot to hint, that, under this article, there is a modest +probability that many of the clergy would be found properly qualified +for admittance into the hospital, who might serve in the capacity of +chaplains, and save the unnecessary expense of salaries. + +To these fools, in order succeed such as may justly be included under +the extensive denomination of incurable knaves; of which our several +Inns of Court would constantly afford us abundant supplies. + +I think indeed, that, of this species of incurables, there ought to be a +certain limited number annually admitted; which number, neither any +regard to the quiet or benefit of the nation, nor any other charitable +or public-spirited reason, should tempt us to exceed; because, if all +were to be admitted on such a foundation, who might be reputed incurable +of this distemper; and if it were possible for the public to find any +place large enough for their reception; I have not the least doubt, that +all our Inns, which are at this day so crowded, would in a short time be +emptied of their inhabitants; and the law, that beneficial craft, want +hands to conduct it. + +I tremble to think what herds of attorneys, solicitors, pettifoggers, +scriveners, usurers, hackney-clerks, pickpockets, pawn-brokers, jailors, +and justices of the peace, would hourly be driven to such an hospital; +and what disturbance it might also create in several noble and wealthy +families. + +What unexpected distress might it prove to several men of fortune and +quality, to be suddenly deprived of their rich stewards, in whom they +had for many years reposed the utmost confidence, and to find them +irrecoverably lodged among such a collection of incurables! + +How many orphans might then expect to see their guardians hurried away +to the hospital; and how many greedy executors find reason to lament the +want of opportunity to pillage! + +Would not Exchange Alley have cause to mourn for the loss of its +stock-jobbers and brokers; and the Charitable Corporation for the +confinement of many of its directors? + +Might not Westminster-Hall, as well as all the gaming-houses in this +great city, be entirely unpeopled; and the professors of art in each of +those assemblies become useless in their vocations, by being deprived of +all future opportunity to be dishonest? + +In short, it might put the whole kingdom into confusion and disorder; +and we should find that the entire revenues of this nation would be +scarce able to support so great a number of incurables, in this way, as +would appear qualified for admission into our hospital. + +For if we only consider how this kingdom swarms with quadrille-tables, +and gaming-houses, both public and private; and also how each of those +houses, as well as Westminster-Hall aforesaid, swarms with knaves who +are anxious to win, or fools who have anything to lose; we may be soon +convinced how necessary it will be to limit the number of incurables, +comprehended under these titles, lest the foundation should prove +insufficient to maintain any others besides them. + +However, if, by this Scheme of mine, the nation can be eased of twenty +or thirty thousand such incurables, I think it ought to be esteemed +somewhat beneficial, and worthy of the attention of the public. + +The next sort for whom I would gladly provide, and who for several +generations have proved insupportable plagues and grievances to the good +people of England, are those who may properly be admitted under the +character of incurable scolds. + +I own this to be a temper of so desperate a nature, that few females can +be found willing to own themselves anyway addicted to it; and yet, it +is thought that there is scarce a single parson, 'prentice, alderman, +squire, or husband, who would not solemnly avouch the very reverse. + +I could wish, indeed, that the word scold might be changed for some more +gentle term, of equal signification; because I am convinced, that the +very name is as offensive to female ears, as the effects of that +incurable distemper are to the ears of the men; which, to be sure, is +inexpressible. + +And that it hath been always customary to honour the very same kind of +actions with different appellations, only to avoid giving offence, is +evident to common observation. + +For instance: How many lawyers, attorneys, solicitors, under-sheriffs, +intriguing chambermaids, and counter-officers, are continually guilty of +extortion, bribery, oppression, and many other profitable knaveries, to +drain the purses of those with whom they are any way concerned! And yet, +all these different expedients to raise a fortune, pass generally under +the milder names of fees, perquisites, vails, presents, gratuities, and +such like; although, in strictness of speech, they should be called +robbery, and consequently be rewarded with a gibbet. + +Nay, how many honourable gentlemen might be enumerated, who keep open +shop to make a trade of iniquity; who teach the law to wink whenever +power or profit appears in her way; and contrive to grow rich by the +vice, the contention, or the follies of mankind; and who, nevertheless, +instead of being branded with the harsh-sounding names of knaves, +pilferers, or public oppressors, (as they justly merit,) are only +distinguished by the title of justices of the peace; in which single +term, all those several appellations are generally thought to be +implied. + +But to proceed. When first I determined to prepare this Scheme for the +use and inspection of the public, I intended to examine one whole ward +in this city, that my computation of the number of incurable scolds +might be more perfect and exact. But I found it impossible to finish my +progress through more than one street. + +I made my first application to a wealthy citizen in Cornhill, +common-council-man for his ward; to whom I hinted, that if he knew e'er +an incurable scold in the neighbourhood, I had some hope to provide for +her in such a manner, as to hinder her from being further troublesome. +He referred me with great delight to his next-door friend; yet whispered +me, that, with much greater ease and pleasure, he could furnish me out +of his own family ----; and begged the preference. + +His next-door friend owned readily that his wife's qualifications were +not misrepresented, and that he would cheerfully contribute to promote +so useful a scheme; but positively asserted, that it would be of small +service to rid the neighbourhood of one woman, while such multitudes +would remain all equally insupportable. + +By which circumstance I conjectured, that the quantity of these +incurables in London, Westminster, and Southwark, would be very +considerable; and that a generous contribution might reasonably be +expected for such an hospital as I am recommending. + +Besides, the number of these female incurables would probably be very +much increased by additional quantities of old maids; who, being wearied +with concealing their ill-humour for one-half of their lives, are +impatient to give it full vent in the other. For old maids, like old +thin-bodied wines, instead of growing more agreeable by years, are +observed, for the most part, to become intolerably sharp, sour, and +useless. + +Under this denomination also, we may expect to be furnished with as +large a collection of old bachelors, especially those who have estates, +and but a moderate degree of understanding. For, an old wealthy +bachelor, being perpetually surrounded with a set of flatterers, +cousins, poor dependents, and would-be heirs, who for their own views +submit to his perverseness and caprice, becomes insensibly infected with +this scolding malady, which generally proves incurable, and renders him +disagreeable to his friends, and a fit subject for ridicule to his +enemies. + +As to the incurable scribblers, (of which society I have the honour to +be a member,) they probably are innumerable; and, of consequence, it +will be absolutely impossible to provide for one-tenth part of their +fraternity. However, as this set of incurables are generally more +plagued with poverty than any other, it will be a double charity to +admit them on the foundation; a charity to the world, to whom they are a +common pest and nuisance; and a charity to themselves, to relieve them +from want, contempt, kicking, and several other accidents of that +nature, to which they are continually liable. + +Grub-street itself would then have reason to rejoice, to see so many of +its half-starved manufacturers amply provided for; and the whole tribe +of meagre incurables would probably shout for joy, at being delivered +from the tyranny and garrets of printers, publishers, and booksellers. + +What a mixed multitude of ballad-writers, ode-makers, translators, +farce-compounders, opera-mongers, biographers, pamphleteers, and +journalists, would appear crowding to the hospital; not unlike the +brutes resorting to the ark before the deluge! And what an universal +satisfaction would such a sight afford to all, except pastry-cooks, +grocers, chandlers, and tobacco-retailers, to whom alone the writings of +those incurables were anyway profitable! + +I have often been amazed to observe, what a variety of incurable +coxcombs are to be met with between St. James's and Limehouse, at every +hour of the day; as numerous as Welsh parsons, and equally contemptible. +How they swarm in all coffeehouses, theatres, public walks, and private +assemblies; how they are incessantly employed in cultivating intrigues, +and every kind of irrational pleasure; how industrious they seem to +mimic the appearance of monkeys, as monkeys are emulous to imitate the +gestures of men: And from such observations, I concluded, that to +confine the greatest part of those incurables, who are so many living +burlesques of human nature, would be of eminent service to this nation; +and I am persuaded that I am far from being singular in that opinion. + +As for the incurable infidels and liars, I shall range them under the +same article, and would willingly appoint them the same apartment in the +hospital; because there is a much nearer resemblance between them, than +is generally imagined. + +Have they not an equal delight in imposing falsities on the public; and +seem they not equally desirous to be thought of more sagacity and +importance than others? Do they not both report what both know to be +false; and both confidently assert what they are conscious is most +liable to contradiction? + +The parallel might easily be carried on much further, if the intended +shortness of this essay would admit it. However, I cannot forbear taking +notice, with what immense quantities of incurable liars his Majesty's +kingdoms are overrun; what offence and prejudice they are to the public; +what inconceivable injury to private persons; and what a necessity there +is for an hospital, to relieve the nation from the curse of so many +incurables. + +This distemper appears almost in as many different shapes, as there are +persons afflicted with it; and, in every individual, is always beyond +the power of medicine. + +Some lie for their interest; such as fishmongers, flatterers, pimps, +lawyers, fortune-hunters, and fortune-tellers; and others lie for their +entertainment, as maids, wives, widows, and all other tea-table +attendants. + +Some lie out of vanity, as poets, painters, players, fops, military +officers, and all those who frequent the levees of the great: and others +lie out of ill nature, as old maids, &c. + +Some lie out of custom, as lovers, coxcombs, footmen, sailors, +mechanics, merchants, and chambermaids; and others lie out of +complaisance or necessity, as courtiers, chaplains, &c. In short, it +were endless to enumerate them all, but this sketch may be sufficient to +give us some small imperfect idea of their numbers. + +As to the remaining incurables, we may reasonably conclude, that they +bear at least an equal proportion to those already mentioned; but with +regard to the incurable whores in this kingdom, I must particularly +observe, that such of them as are public, and make it their profession, +have proper hospitals for their reception already, if we could find +magistrates without passions, or officers without an incurable itch to a +bribe. And such of them as are private, and make it their amusement, I +should be unwilling to disturb, for two reasons. + +First, Because it might probably afflict many noble, wealthy, contented, +and unsuspecting husbands, by convincing them of their own dishonour, +and the unpardonable disloyalty of their wives: And, secondly, Because +it will be for ever impossible to confine a woman from being guilty of +any kind of misconduct, when once she is firmly resolved to attempt it. + +From all which observations, every reasonable man must infallibly be +convinced, that an hospital for the support of these different kinds of +incurables, would be extremely beneficial to these kingdoms. I think, +therefore, that nothing further is wanting, but to demonstrate to the +public, that such a Scheme is very practicable; both by having an +undoubted method to raise an annual income, at least sufficient to make +the experiment, (which is the way of founding all hospitals,) and by +having also a strong probability, that such an hospital would be +supported by perpetual benefactions; which, in very few years, might +enable us to increase the number of incurables to nine-tenths more than +we can reasonably venture on at first. + + * * * * * + +_A Computation of the Daily and Annual Expenses of an Hospital, to be +erected for Incurables._ + + Per day. + + Incurable fools, are almost infinite; however, at + first, I would have only twenty thousand admitted; + and, allowing to each person but one shilling per + day for maintenance, which is as low as possible, the + daily expense for this article will be £1000 + + Incurable knaves, are, if possible, more numerous, + including foreigners, especially Irishmen. Yet I + would limit the number of these to about thirty + thousand; which would amount to 1500 + + Incurable scolds, would be plentifully supplied + from almost every family in the kingdom. And indeed, + to make this hospital of any real benefit, we + cannot admit fewer, even at first, than thirty thousand, + including the ladies of Billingsgate and Leadenhall + market, which is 1500 + + The incurable scribblers, are undoubtedly a very + considerable society, and of that denomination I + would admit at least forty thousand; because it is + to be supposed, that such incurables will be found + in greatest distress for a daily maintenance. And + if we had not great encouragement to hope, that + many of that class would properly be admitted + among the incurable fools, I should strenuously intercede + to have ten or twenty thousand more added. + But their allowed number will amount to 2000 + + Incurable coxcombs, are very numerous; and, + considering what numbers are annually imported + from France and Italy, we cannot admit fewer than + ten thousand, which will be 500 + + Incurable infidels, (as they affect to be called) + should be received into the hospital to the number + of ten thousand. However, if it should accidentally + happen to grow into a fashion to be believers, it is + probable, that the great part of them would, in a + very short time, be dismissed from the hospital, as + perfectly cured. Their expense would be 500 + + Incurable liars, are infinite in all parts of the kingdom; + and, making allowance for citizens' wives, + mercers, prentices, news-writers, old maids, and + flatterers, we cannot possibly allow a smaller number + than thirty thousand, which will amount to 1500 + + The incurable envious, are in vast quantities + throughout this whole nation. Nor can it reasonably + be expected that their numbers should lessen, while + fame and honours are heaped upon some particular + persons, as the public reward of their superior + accomplishments, while others, who are equally excellent, + in their own opinions, are constrained to + live unnoticed and contemned. And, as it would + be impossible to provide for all those who are possessed + with this distemper, I should consent to admit + only twenty thousand at first, by way of experiment, + amounting to 1000 + + Of the incurable vain, affected, and impertinent, + I should at least admit ten thousand; which number + I am confident will appear very inconsiderable, if + we include all degrees of females, from the duchess + to the chambermaid; all poets, who have had a little + success, especially in the dramatic way, and all + players, who have met with a small degree of approbation. + Amounting only to 500 + +By which plain computation it is evident, that two hundred thousand +persons will be daily provided for, and the allowance for maintaining +this collection of incurables may be seen in the following account. + + Per day. + _For the Incurable_ + Fools, being 20,000 at one shilling each £1000 + Knaves 30,000 ditto 1500 + Scolds 30,000 1500 + Scribblers 40,000 2000 + Coxcombs 10,000 500 + Infidels 10,000 500 + Liars 30,000 1500 + + _For the Incurably_ + Envious 20,000 1000 + Vain 10,000 500 + _______ ______ + Total maintained, 200,000 Total expense, £10,000 + + + M. Th. H. + From whence it appears, that the daily expense + will amount to such a sum, as in 365 + days comes to £3,650,000 + +And I am fully satisfied that a sum, much greater than this, may easily +be raised, with all possible satisfaction to the subject, and without +interfering in the least with the revenues of the crown. + +In the first place, a large proportion of this sum might be raised by +the voluntary contribution of the inhabitants. + +The computed number of people in Great Britain is very little less than +eight millions; of which, upon a most moderate computation, we may +account one half to be incurables. And as all those different +incurables, whether acting in the capacity of friends, acquaintances, +wives, husbands, daughters, counsellors, parents, old maids, or old +bachelors, are inconceivable plagues to all those with whom they happen +to be concerned; and as there is no hope of being eased of such plagues, +except by such an hospital, which by degrees might be enlarged to +contain them all: I think it cannot be doubted, that at least three +millions and an half of people, out of the remaining proportion, would +be found both able and desirous to contribute so small a sum as twenty +shillings _per annum_, for the quiet of the kingdom, the peace of +private families, and the credit of the nation in general. And this +contribution would amount to very near our requisite sum. + +Nor can this by any means be esteemed a wild conjecture; for where is +there a man of common sense, honesty, or good-nature, who would not +gladly propose even a much greater sum to be freed from a scold, a +knave, a fool, a liar, a coxcomb conceitedly repeating the compositions +of others, or a vain impertinent poet repeating his own? + +In the next place, it may justly be supposed, that many young noblemen, +knights, squires, and extravagant heirs, with very large estates, would +be confined in our hospital. And I would propose, that the annual income +of every particular incurable's estate should be appropriated to the use +of the house. But, besides these, there will undoubtedly be many old +misers, aldermen, justices, directors of companies, templars, and +merchants of all kinds, whose personal fortunes are immense, and who +should proportionably pay to the hospital. + +Yet, lest, by being here misunderstood, I should seem to propose an +unjust or oppressive Scheme, I shall further explain my design. + +Suppose, for instance, a young nobleman, possessed of ten or twenty +thousand pounds _per annum_, should accidentally be confined there as an +incurable: I would have only such a proportion of his estate applied to +the support of the hospital, as he himself would spend if he were at +liberty. And, after his death, the profits of the estate should +regularly devolve to the next lawful heir, whether male or female. + +And my reason for this proposal is; because considerable estates, which +probably would be squandered away among hounds, horses, whores, +sharpers, surgeons, tailors, pimps, masquerades, or architects, if left +to the management of such incurables; would, by this means, become of +some real use, both to the public and themselves. And perhaps this may +be the only method which can be found to make such young spendthrifts of +any real benefit to their country. + +And although the estates of deceased incurables might be permitted to +descend to the next heirs, the hospital would probably sustain no great +disadvantage; because it is very likely that most of these heirs would +also gradually be admitted under some denomination or other; and +consequently their estates would again devolve to the use of the +hospital. + +As to the wealthy misers, &c., I would have their private fortunes +nicely examined and calculated; because, if they were old bachelors, (as +it would frequently happen,) their whole fortunes should then be +appropriated to the endowment; but, if married, I would leave two-thirds +of their fortunes for the support of their families; which families +would cheerfully consent to give away the remaining third, if not more, +to be freed from such peevish and disagreeable governors. + +So that, deducting from the two hundred thousand incurables the forty +thousand scribblers, who to be sure would be found in very bad +circumstances; I believe, among the remaining hundred and sixty thousand +fools, knaves, and coxcombs, so many would be found of large estates and +easy fortunes, as would at least produce two hundred thousand pounds +_per annum_. + +As a further addition to our endowment, I would have a tax upon all +inscriptions and tombstones, monuments and obelisks, erected to the +honour of the dead, or on porticoes and trophies, to the honour of the +living; because these will naturally and properly come under the article +of lies, pride, vanity, &c. + +And if all inscriptions throughout this kingdom were impartially +examined, in order to tax those which should appear demonstrably false +or flattering, I am convinced that not one-fifth part of the number +would, after such a scrutiny, escape exempted. + +Many an ambitious turbulent spirit would then be found, belied with the +opposite title of "lover of his country"; and many a Middlesex justice, +as improperly described, "sleeping in hope of salvation." + +Many an usurer, discredited by the appellations of "honest and frugal"; +and many a lawyer, with the character of conscientious and "equitable." + +Many a British statesman and general, decaying, with more honour than +they lived; and their dusts distinguished with a better reputation than +when they were animated. + +Many dull parsons, improperly styled eloquent; and as many stupid +physicians, improperly styled learned. + +Yet, notwithstanding the extensiveness of a tax upon such monumental +impositions, I will count only upon twenty thousand, at five pounds +_per annum_ each, which will amount to one hundred thousand pounds +annually. + +To these annuities, I would also request the Parliament of this nation +to allow the benefit of two lotteries yearly; by which the hospital +would gain two hundred thousand pounds clear. Nor can such a request +seem any way extraordinary, since it would be appropriated to the +benefit of fools and knaves, which is the sole cause of granting one for +this present year. + +In the last place, I would add the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.;[180] +and, to do his memory all possible honour, I would have his statue +erected in the very first apartment of the hospital, or in any other +which might seem more apt. And, on his monument, I would permit a long +inscription, composed by his dearest friends, which should remain +tax-free for ever. + +From these several articles, therefore, would annually arise the +following sums. + + M. Th. H. + P. Ann. + + From the voluntary contribution, £3,500,000 + From the estates of the incurables, 200,000 + By the tax upon tombstones, monuments, + &c. (that of Richard Norton, Esq. always + excepted,) 100,000 + By two annual lotteries, 200,000 + By the estate of Richard Norton, Esq. 6,000 + ---------- + Total, £4,006,000[181] + ---------- + And the necessary sum for the hospital being £3,650,000 + There will remain annually over and above, 356,000 + +Which sum of _356,000l._ should be applied towards erecting the +building, and answer accidental expenses, in such a manner as should +seem most proper to promote the design of the hospital. But the whole +management of it should be left to the skill and discretion of those who +are to be constituted governors. + +It may, indeed, prove a work of some small difficulty to fix upon a +commodious place, large enough for a building of this nature. I should +have thoughts of attempting to enclose all Yorkshire, if I were not +apprehensive that it would be crowded with so many incurable knaves of +its own growth, that there would not be the least room left for the +reception of any others; by which accident, our whole project might be +retarded for some time. + +Thus have I set this matter in the plainest light I could, that every +one may judge of the necessity, usefulness, and practicableness of this +Scheme: and I shall only add a few scattered hints, which, to me, seem +not altogether unprofitable. + +I think the prime minister for the time being ought largely to +contribute to such a foundation; because his high station and merits +must of necessity infect a great number with envy, hatred, lying, and +such sort of distempers; and, of consequence, furnish the hospital +annually with many incurables. + +I would desire that the governors appointed to direct this hospital, +should have (if such a thing were possible) some appearance of religion, +and belief in God; because those who are to be admitted as incurable +infidels, atheists, deists, and freethinkers, most of which tribe are +only so out of pride, conceit, and affectation, might perhaps grow +gradually into believers, if they perceived it to be the custom of the +place where they lived. + +Although it be not customary for the natives of Ireland to meet with any +manner of promotion in this kingdom, I would, in this respect, have that +national prejudice entirely laid aside; and request, that, for the +reputation of both kingdoms, a _large_ apartment in the hospital may be +fitted up for Irishmen particularly, who, either by knavery, lewdness, +or fortune-hunting, should appear qualified for admittance; because +their numbers would certainly be very considerable. + +I would further request, that a father, who seems delighted at seeing +his son metamorphosed into a fop, or a coxcomb, because he hath +travelled from London to Paris; may be sent along with the young +gentleman to the hospital, as an old fool, absolutely incurable. + +If a poet hath luckily produced anything, especially in the dramatic +way, which is tolerably well received by the public, he should be sent +immediately to the hospital; because incurable vanity is always the +consequence of a little success. And, if his compositions be ill +received, let him be admitted as a scribbler. + +And I hope, in regard to the great pains I have taken, about this +Scheme, that I shall be admitted upon the foundation, as one of the +scribbling incurables. But, as an additional favour, I entreat, that I +may not be placed in an apartment with a poet who hath employed his +genius for the stage; because he will kill me with repeating his own +compositions: and I need not acquaint the world, that it is extremely +painful to bear any nonsense--except our own. + +My private reason for soliciting so early to be admitted is, because it +is observed that schemers and projectors are generally reduced to +beggary; but, by my being provided for in the hospital, either as an +incurable fool or a scribbler, that discouraging observation will for +once be publicly disproved, and my brethren in that way will be secure +of a public reward for their labours. + +It gives me, I own, a great degree of happiness, to reflect, that +although in this short treatise the characters of many thousands are +contained, among the vast variety of incurables; yet, not any one person +is likely to be offended; because, it is natural to apply ridiculous +characters to all the world, except ourselves. And I dare be bold to +say, that the most incurable fool, knave, scold, coxcomb, scribbler, or +liar, in this whole nation, will sooner enumerate the circle of their +acquaintance as addicted to those distempers, than once imagine +_themselves_ any way qualified for such an hospital. + +I hope, indeed, that our wise legislature will take this project into +their serious consideration; and promote an endowment, which will be of +such eminent service to multitudes of his Majesty's unprofitable +subjects, and may in time be of use to _themselves_ and their posterity. + + * * * * * + + From my Garret in Moorfields, Aug. 20, 1733. + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE + +HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c. + +_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._ + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift may have written the following mock petition by way of satire + against the many absurd petitions which were presented at the time + to the Irish House of Commons, and of which two examples were + quoted in the note to a previous tract. If coal-porters and + hackney-coachmen might address the Honourable House, why not + footmen? + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that found at the end of Swift's + "Serious and Useful Scheme to make an Hospital for Incurables," + issued by George Faulkner in 1733. Faulkner reprinted this volume + in 1734. + + [T. S.] + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c. + +_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._ + + +_Humbly Sheweth_, + +That your Petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with +several privileges, time out of mind. + +That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons, for several months +past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public +walks of this City, habited sometimes in green coats, and sometimes in +laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands, and without swords, in +hopes to procure favour, by that advantage, with a great number of +ladies who frequent those walks, pretending and giving themselves out to +be true genuine Irish footmen. Whereas they can be proved to be no +better than common toupees,[182] as a judicious eye may soon discover by +their awkward, clumsy, ungenteel gait and behaviour, by their +unskilfulness in dress, even with the advantage of wearing our habits, +by their ill-favoured countenances, with an air of impudence and dulness +peculiar to the rest of their brethren; who have not yet arrived at that +transcendent pitch of assurance. Although, it may be justly apprehended, +that they will do so in time, if these counterfeits shall happen to +succeed in their evil design, of passing for real footmen, thereby to +render themselves more amiable to the ladies. + +Your petitioners do further allege, that many of the said counterfeits, +upon a strict examination, have been found in the very act of strutting, +swearing, staring, swaggering, in a manner that plainly shewed their +best endeavours to imitate us. Wherein, although they did not succeed, +yet by their ignorant and ungainly way of copying our graces, the utmost +indignity was endeavoured to be cast upon our whole profession. + +Your Petitioners do therefore make it their humble request, that this +Honourable House, (to many of whom your Petitioners are nearly allied) +will please to take this grievance into your most serious consideration: +Humbly submitting, whether it would not be proper, that certain officers +might, at the public charge, be employed to search for, and discover all +such counterfeit footmen, and carry them before the next Justice of +Peace; by whose warrant, upon the first conviction, they should be +stripped of their coats, and oaken ornaments, and be set two hours in +the stocks. Upon the second conviction, besides stripping, be set six +hours in the stocks, with a paper pinned on their breast signifying +their crime, in large capital letters, and in the following words. "A. B. +commonly called A. B. Esq.; a toupee, and a notorious impostor, who +presumed to personate a true Irish footman." + +And for any further offence the said toupee shall be committed to +Bridewell, whipped three times, forced to hard labour for a month, and +not be set at liberty, till he shall have given sufficient security for +his good behaviour. + +Your Honours will please to observe with what lenity we propose to treat +these enormous offenders, who have already brought such a scandal on our +honourable calling, that several well-meaning people have mistaken them +to be of our Fraternity; in diminution to that credit and dignity +wherewith we have supported our station, as we always did, in the _worst +of times_.[183] And we further beg leave to remark, that this was +manifestly done with a seditious design, to render us less capable of +serving the public in any great employments, as several of our +Fraternity, as well as our ancestors have done. + +We do therefore humbly implore your Honours, to give necessary orders +for our relief, in this present exigency, and your Petitioners (as in +duty bound) shall ever pray, &c. + + Dublin, 1733. + + + + +ADVICE + +TO THE + +FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN, + +IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1733. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift here argues that a holder of an office under the government + cannot, of necessity, be an honest representative of the people. + There were two candidates before the freemen for the suffrages of + the City, one, Lord Mayor French, and the other Mr. John Macarrell. + The latter was an office-holder; he was Register to the Barracks, + and received his salary from the government. It was not to be + expected that he would vote against his employer, be he never so + honest a man. Swift openly informs the freemen that the Drapier is + against this man. The Lord Mayor was elected. + + * * * * * + + The text of this "Advice" is based on that given in the eighth + volume of Swift's Collected Works, issued in 1746. The Forster + Collection contains a made-up booklet of pp. 196-205, taken from a + volume of one of the collected editions. + + [T. S.] + + + + +ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN, IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER +TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT. + + +Those few writers, who, since the death of Alderman Burton, have +employed their pens in giving advice to our citizens, how they should +proceed in electing a new representative for the next sessions, having +laid aside their pens, I have reason to hope, that all true lovers of +their country in general, and particularly those who have any regard for +the privileges and liberties of this great and ancient city, will think +a second, and a third time, before they come to a final determination +upon what person they resolve to fix their choice. + +I am told, there are only two persons who set up for candidates; one is +the present Lord Mayor,[184] and the other, a gentleman of good esteem, +an alderman of the city, a merchant of reputation, and possessed of a +considerable office under the crown.[185] The question is, which of +these two persons it will be most for the advantage of the city to +elect? I have but little acquaintance with either, so that my inquiries +will be very impartial, and drawn only from the general character and +situation of both. + +In order to this, I must offer my countrymen and fellow-citizens some +reasons why I think they ought to be more than ordinarily careful, at +this juncture, upon whom they bestow their votes. + +To perform this with more clearness, it may be proper to give you a +short state of our unfortunate country. + +We consist of two parties: I do not mean Popish and Protestant, High and +Low Church, Episcopal and Sectarians, Whig and Tory; but of these +English who happen to be born in this kingdom, (whose ancestors reduced +the whole nation under the obedience of the English crown,) and the +gentlemen sent from the other side to possess most of the chief +employments here. This latter party is very much enlarged and +strengthened by the whole power in the church, the law, the army, the +revenue, and the civil administration deposited in their hands; +although, out of political ends, and to save appearances, some +employments are still deposited (yet gradually in a smaller number) to +persons born here; this proceeding, fortified with good words and many +promises, is sufficient to flatter and feed the hopes of hundreds, who +will never be one farthing the better, as they might easily be +convinced, if they were qualified to think at all. + +Civil employments of all kinds have been for several years past, with +great prudence, made precarious, and during pleasure; by which means the +possessors are, and must inevitably be, for ever dependent; yet those +very few of any consequence, which are dealt with so sparing a hand to +persons born among us, are enough to keep hope alive in great numbers, +who desire to mend their condition by the favour of those in power. + +Now, my dear fellow-citizens, how is it possible you can conceive, that +any person, who holds an office of some hundred pounds a year, which may +be taken from him whenever power shall think fit, will, if he should be +chosen a member for any city, do the least thing, when he sits in the +house, that he knows or fears may be displeasing to those who gave him +or continue him in that office? Believe me, these are no times to expect +such an exalted degree of virtue from mortal men. Blazing stars are much +more frequently seen than such heroical worthies. And I could sooner +hope to find ten thousand pounds by digging in my garden, than such a +phoenix, by searching among the present race of mankind. + +I cannot forbear thinking it a very erroneous, as well as modern maxim +of politics, in the English nation, to take every opportunity of +depressing Ireland; whereof an hundred instances may be produced in +points of the highest importance, and within the memory of every +middle-aged man; although many of the greatest persons among that party +which now prevails, have formerly, upon that article, much differed in +their opinion from their present successors. + +But so the fact stands at present. It is plain that the court and +country party here, (I mean in the House of Commons,) very seldom agree +in anything but their loyalty to his present Majesty, their resolutions +to make him and his viceroy easy in the government, to the utmost of +their power, under the present condition of the kingdom. But the persons +sent from England, who (to a trifle) are possessed of the sole executive +power in all its branches, with their few adherents in possession who +were born here, and hundreds of expectants, hopers, and promissees, put +on quite contrary notions with regard to Ireland. They count upon a +universal submission to whatever shall be demanded; wherein they act +safely, because none of themselves, except the candidates, feel the +least of our pressures. + +I remember a person of distinction some days ago affirmed in a good deal +of mixed company, and of both parties, that the gentry from England, who +now enjoy our highest employments of all kinds, can never be possibly +losers of one farthing by the greatest calamities that can befall this +kingdom, except a plague that would sweep away a million of our hewers +of wood and drawers of water, or an invasion that would fright our +grandees out of the kingdom. For this person argued, that while there +was a penny left in the treasury, the civil and military list must be +paid; and that the Episcopal revenues, which are usually farmed out at +six times below the real value, could hardly fail. He insisted farther, +that as money diminished, the price of all necessaries for life must of +consequence do so too, which would be for the advantage of all persons +in employment, as well as of my lords the bishops, and to the ruin of +everybody else. Among the company there wanted not men in office, +besides one or two expectants; yet I did not observe any of them +disposed to return an answer; but the consequences drawn were these: +That the great men in power sent hither from the other side, were by no +means upon the same foot with his Majesty's other subjects of Ireland; +they had no common ligament to bind them with us; they suffered not with +our sufferings; and if it were possible for us to have any cause of +rejoicing, they could not rejoice with us. + +Suppose a person, born in this kingdom, shall happen by his services for +the English interest to have an employment conferred on him worth four +hundred pounds a year; and that he hath likewise an estate in land worth +four hundred pounds a year more; suppose him to sit in Parliament; then, +suppose a land-tax to be brought in of five shillings a pound for ten +years; I tell you how this gentleman will compute. He hath four hundred +pounds a year in land: the tax he must pay yearly is one hundred pounds; +by which, in ten years, he will pay only a thousand pounds. But if he +gives his vote against this tax, he will lose four thousand pounds by +being turned out of his employment, together with the power and +influence he hath, by virtue or colour of his employment; and thus the +balance will be against him three thousand pounds. + +I desire, my fellow-citizens, you will please to call to mind how many +persons you can vouch for among your acquaintance, who have so much +virtue and self-denial as to lose four hundred pounds a year for life, +together with the smiles and favour of power, and the hopes of higher +advancement, merely out of a generous love of his country. + +The contentions of parties in England are very different from those +among us. The battle there is fought for power and riches; and so it is +indeed among us: but whether a great employment be given to Tom or to +Peter, they were both born in England, the profits are to be spent +there. All employments (except a very few) are bestowed on the natives; +they do not send to Germany, Holland, Sweden, or Denmark, much less to +Ireland, for chancellors, bishops, judges, or other officers. Their +salaries, whether well or ill got, are employed at home: and whatever +their morals or politics be, the nation is not the poorer. + +The House of Commons in England have frequently endeavoured to limit the +number of members, who should be allowed to have employments under the +Crown. Several acts have been made to that purpose, which many wise men +think are not yet effectual enough, and many of them are rendered +ineffectual by leaving the power of re-election. Our House of Commons +consists, I think, of about three hundred members; if one hundred of +these should happen to be made up of persons already provided for, +joined with expecters, compliers easy to be persuaded, such as will give +a vote for a friend who is in hopes to get something; if they be merry +companions, without suspicion, of a natural bashfulness, not apt or able +to look forwards; if good words, smiles, and caresses, have any power +over them, the larger part of a second hundred may be very easily +brought in at a most reasonable rate. + +There is an Englishman[186] of no long standing among us, but in an +employment of great trust, power, and profit. This excellent person did +lately publish, at his own expense, a pamphlet printed in England by +authority, to justify the bill for a general excise or inland duty, in +order to introduce that blessed scheme among us. What a tender care must +such an English patriot for Ireland have of our interest, if he should +condescend to sit in our Parliament! I will bridle my indignation. +However, methinks I long to see that mortal, who would with pleasure +blow us all up at a blast: but he duly receives his thousand pounds a +year; makes his progresses like a king; is received in pomp at every +town and village where he travels,[187] and shines in the English +newspapers. + +I will now apply what I have said to you, my brethren and +fellow-citizens. Count upon it, as a truth next to your creed, that no +one person in office, of which he is not master for life, whether born +here or in England, will ever hazard that office for the good of this +country. One of your candidates is of this kind, and I believe him to be +an honest gentleman, as the word honest is generally understood. But he +loves his employment better than he doth you, or his country, or all the +countries upon earth. Will you contribute and give him city security to +pay him the value of his employment, if it should be taken from him, +during his life, for voting on all occasions with the honest country +party in the House?--although I must question, whether he would do it +even upon that condition. + +Wherefore, since there are but two candidates, I entreat you will fix on +the present Lord Mayor. He hath shewn more virtue, more activity, more +skill, in one year's government of the city, than a hundred years can +equal. He hath endeavoured, with great success, to banish frauds, +corruptions, and all other abuses from amongst you. + +A dozen such men in power would be able to reform a kingdom. He hath no +employment under the Crown; nor is likely to get or solicit for any: his +education having not turned him that way. I will assure for no man's +future conduct; but he who hath hitherto practised the rules of virtue +with so much difficulty in so great and busy a station, deserves your +thanks, and the best return you can make him; and you, my brethren, have +no other to give him, than that of representing you in Parliament. Tell +me not of your engagements and promises to another: your promises were +sins of inconsideration, at best; and you are bound to repent and annul +them. That gentleman, although with good reputation, is already engaged +on the other side. He hath four hundred pounds a year under the Crown, +which he is too wise to part with, by sacrificing so good an +establishment to the empty names of virtue, and love of his country. I +can assure you, the DRAPIER is in the interest of the present +Lord Mayor, whatever you may be told to the contrary. I have lately +heard him declare so in public company, and offer some of these very +reasons in defence of his opinion; although he hath a regard and esteem +for the other gentleman, but would not hazard the good of the city and +the kingdom for a compliment. + +The Lord Mayor's severity to some unfair dealers, should not turn the +honest men among them against him. Whatever he did, was for the +advantage of those very traders, whose dishonest members he punished. He +hath hitherto been above temptation to act wrong; and therefore, as +mankind goes, he is the most likely to act right as a representative of +your city, as he constantly did in the government of it. + + + + +SOME + +CONSIDERATIONS + +HUMBLY OFFERED TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE THE LORD MAYOR, THE COURT OF +ALDERMEN, AND COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE HONOURABLE CITY OF DUBLIN, + +IN THE + +CHOICE OF A RECORDER. + +1733. + + + + +SOME CONSIDERATIONS IN THE CHOICE OF A RECORDER. + + +The office of Recorder to this city being vacant by the death of a very +worthy gentleman,[188] it is said, that five or six persons are +soliciting to succeed him in the employment. I am a stranger to all +their persons, and to most of their characters; which latter, I hope, +will at this time be canvassed with more decency than it sometimes +happeneth upon the like occasions. Therefore, as I am wholly impartial, +I can with more freedom deliver my thoughts how the several persons and +parties concerned ought to proceed in electing a Recorder for this great +and ancient city. + +And first, as it is a very natural, so I can by no means think it an +unreasonable opinion, that the sons or near relations of Aldermen, and +other deserving citizens, should be duly regarded as proper competitors +for an employment in the city's disposal, provided they be equally +qualified with other candidates; and provided that such employments +require no more than common abilities, and common honesty. But in the +choice of a Recorder, the case is entirely different. He ought to be a +person of good abilities in his calling; of an unspotted character; an +able practitioner; one who hath occasionally merited of this city +before; he ought to be of some maturity in years; a member of +Parliament, and likely to continue so; regular in his life; firm in his +loyalty to the Hanover succession; indulgent to tender consciences; but, +at the same time, a firm adherer to the established church. If he be +such a one who hath already sat in Parliament, it ought to be inquired +of what weight he was there; whether he voted on all occasions for the +good of his country; and particularly for advancing the trade and +freedom of this city; whether he be engaged in any faction, either +national or religious; and, lastly, whether he be a man of courage, not +to be drawn from his duty by the frown or menaces of power, nor capable +to be corrupted by allurements or bribes.--These, and many other +particulars, are of infinitely more consequence, than that single +circumstance of being descended by a direct or collateral line from any +Alderman, or distinguished citizen, dead or alive. + +There is not a dealer or shopkeeper in this city, of any substance, +whose thriving, less or more, may not depend upon the good or ill +conduct of a Recorder. He is to watch every motion in Parliament that +may the least affect the freedom, trade, or welfare of it. + +In this approaching election, the commons, as they are a numerous body, +so they seem to be most concerned in point of interest; and their +interest ought to be most regarded, because it altogether dependeth upon +the true interest of the city. They have no private views; and giving +their votes, as I am informed, by balloting, they lie under no awe, or +fear of disobliging competitors. It is therefore hoped that they will +duly consider, which of the candidates is most likely to advance the +trade of themselves and their brother-citizens; to defend their +liberties, both in and out of Parliament, against all attempts of +encroachment or oppression. And so God direct them in the choice of a +Recorder, who may for many years supply that important office with +skill, diligence, courage, and fidelity. And let all the people say, +Amen. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR GIVING + +BADGES TO THE BEGGARS IN ALL THE PARISHES OF DUBLIN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The "badging" of beggars was a favourite scheme of Swift's for the + better regulation of the many who infested the city of Dublin as + tramps and idlers. While many of these were really deserving + persons, there were a great many also who made the business of + begging a profession. Eleven years before this tract was printed + Swift wrote to Archbishop King on the same subject, as will be seen + from the letter quoted in the note on pages 326-327. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on the original edition of 1737 collated + with that given by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +PROPOSAL + +FOR GIVING + +BADGES + +TO THE + +BEGGARS + +IN ALL THE + +PARISHES of _DUBLIN_. + +BY THE + +DEAN of St. _PATRICK's_ + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_, + +Printed for T. COOPER at the _Globe_ in _Pater Noster Row_. + +MDCCXXXVII. + +Price Six Pence. + + + + +It hath been a general complaint, that the poor-house, especially since +the new Constitution by Act of Parliament, hath been of no benefit to +this city, for the ease of which it was wholly intended. I had the +honour to be a member of it many years before it was new modelled by the +legislature, not from any personal regard, but merely as one of the two +deans, who are of course put into most commissions that relate to the +city; and I have likewise the honour to have been left out of several +commissions upon the score of party, in which my predecessors, time out +of mind, have always been members. + +The first commission was made up of about fifty persons, which were the +Lord Mayor, Aldermen, and Sheriffs, and some few other citizens; the +Judges, the two Archbishops, the two Deans of the city, and one or two +more gentlemen. And I must confess my opinion, that the dissolving the +old commission, and establishing a new one of nearly three times the +number, have been the great cause of rendering so good a design not only +useless, but a grievance instead of a benefit to the city. In the +present commission all the city clergy are included, besides a great +number of 'squires, not only those who reside in Dublin, and the +neighbourhood, but several who live at a great distance, and cannot +possibly have the least concern for the advantage of the city. + +At the few general meetings that I have attended since the new +Establishment, I observed very little was done, except one or two Acts +of extreme justice, which I then thought might as well have been +spared: and I have found the Court of Assistants usually taken up in +little brangles about coachmen, or adjusting accounts of meal and small +beer; which, however necessary, might sometimes have given place to +matters of much greater moment, I mean some schemes recommended to the +General Board, for answering the chief ends in erecting and establishing +such a poor-house, and endowing it with so considerable a revenue: and +the principal end I take to have been that of maintaining the poor and +orphans of the city, where the parishes are not able to do it; and +clearing the streets from all strollers, foreigners, and sturdy beggars, +with which, to the universal complaint and admiration, Dublin is more +infested since the Establishment of the poor-house, than it was ever +known to be since its first erection. + +As the whole fund for supporting this hospital is raised only from the +inhabitants of the city, so there can be hardly any thing more absurd, +than to see it mis-employed in maintaining foreign beggars and bastards, +or orphans, whose country landlords never contributed one shilling +towards their support. I would engage, that half this revenue, if +employed with common care, and no very great degree of common honesty, +would maintain all the real objects of charity in this city, except a +small number of original poor in every parish, who might, without being +burthensome to the parishioners, find a tolerable support. + +I have for some years past applied myself to several Lord Mayors, and to +the late Archbishop of Dublin[189], for a remedy to this evil of foreign +beggars; and they all appeared ready to receive a very plain proposal, I +mean, that of badging the original poor of every parish, who begged in +the streets;[190] that the said beggars should be confined to their own +parishes; that, they should wear their badges well sewn upon one of +their shoulders, always visible, on pain of being whipped and turned out +of town; or whatever legal punishment may be thought proper and +effectual. But, by the wrong way of thinking in some clergymen, and the +indifference of others, this method was perpetually defeated, to their +own continual disquiet, which they do not ill deserve; and if the +grievance affected only them, it would be of less consequence, because +the remedy is in their own power. But all street-walkers, and +shopkeepers bear an equal share in this hourly vexation. + +I never heard more than one objection against this expedient of badging +the poor, and confining their walks to their several parishes. The +objection was this: What shall we do with the foreign beggars? Must they +be left to starve? I answered, No; but they must be driven or whipped +out of town; and let the next country parish do as they please; or +rather after the practice in England, send them from one parish to +another, until they reach their own homes. By the old laws of England +still in force, and I presume by those of Ireland, every parish is bound +to maintain its own poor; and the matter is of no such consequence in +this point as some would make it, whether a country parish be rich or +poor. In the remoter and poorer parishes of the kingdom, all necessaries +for life proper for poor people are comparatively cheaper; I mean +butter-milk, oatmeal, potatoes, and other vegetables; and every farmer +or cottager, who is not himself a beggar, can sometimes spare a sup or a +morsel, not worth the fourth part of a farthing, to an indigent +neighbour of his own parish, who is disabled from work. A beggar native +of the parish is known to the 'squire, to the church minister, to the +popish priest, or the conventicle teachers, as well as to every farmer: +he hath generally some relations able to live, and contribute something +to his maintenance. None of which advantages can be reasonably expected +on a removal to places where he is altogether unknown. If he be not +quite maimed, he and his trull, and litter of brats (if he hath any) may +get half their support by doing some kind of work in their power, and +thereby be less burthensome to the people. In short, all necessaries of +life grow in the country, and not in cities, and are cheaper where they +grow; nor is it equal, that beggars should put us to the charge of +giving them victuals, and the carriage too. + +But, when the spirit of wandering takes him, attended by his female, and +their equipage of children, he becomes a nuisance to the whole country: +he and his female are thieves, and teach the trade of stealing to their +brood at four years old; and if his infirmities be counterfeit, it is +dangerous for a single person unarmed to meet him on the road. He +wanders from one county to another, but still with a view to this town, +whither he arrives at last, and enjoys all the privileges of a Dublin +beggar. + +I do not wonder that the country 'squires should be very willing to send +up their colonies; but why the city should be content to receive them, +is beyond my imagination. + +If the city were obliged by their charter to maintain a thousand +beggars, they could do it cheaper by eighty _per cent._ a hundred miles +off, than in this town, or any of its suburbs. + +There is no village in Connaught, that in proportion shares so deeply in +the daily increasing miseries of Ireland, as its capital city; to which +miseries there hardly remained any addition, except the perpetual swarms +of foreign beggars, who might be banished in a month without expense, +and with very little trouble. + +As I am personally acquainted with a great number of street beggars, I +find some weak attempts to have been made in one or two parishes to +promote the wearing of badges; and my first question to those who ask an +alms, is, _Where is your badge?_ I have in several years met with about +a dozen who were ready to produce them, some out of their pockets, +others from under their coat, and two or three on their shoulders, only +covered with a sort of capes which they could lift up or let down upon +occasion. They are too lazy to work, they are not afraid to steal, nor +ashamed to beg; and yet are too proud to be seen with a badge, as many +of them have confessed to me, and not a few in very injurious terms, +particularly the females. They all look upon such an obligation as a +high indignity done to their office. I appeal to all indifferent people, +whether such wretches deserve to be relieved. As to myself, I must +confess, this absurd insolence hath so affected me, that for several +years past, I have not disposed of one single farthing to a street +beggar, nor intend to do so, until I see a better regulation; and I have +endeavoured to persuade all my brother-walkers to follow my example, +which most of them assure me they do. For, if beggary be not able to +beat out pride, it cannot deserve charity. However, as to persons in +coaches and chairs, they bear but little of the persecution we suffer, +and are willing to leave it entirely upon us. + +To say the truth, there is not a more undeserving vicious race of human +kind than the bulk of those who are reduced to beggary, even in this +beggarly country. For, as a great part of our publick miseries is +originally owing to our own faults (but, what those faults are I am +grown by experience too wary to mention) so I am confident, that among +the meaner people, nineteen in twenty of those who are reduced to a +starving condition, did not become so by what lawyers call the work of +GOD, either upon their bodies or goods; but merely from their +own idleness, attended with all manner of vices, particularly +drunkenness, thievery, and cheating. + +Whoever enquires, as I have frequently done, from those who have asked +me an alms; what was their former course of life, will find them to have +been servants in good families, broken tradesmen, labourers, cottagers, +and what they call decayed house-keepers; but (to use their own cant) +reduced by losses and crosses, by which nothing can be understood but +idleness and vice. + +As this is the only Christian country where people contrary to the old +maxim, are the poverty and not the riches of the nation, so, the +blessing of increase and multiply is by us converted into a curse; and, +as marriage hath been ever countenanced in all free countries, so we +should be less miserable if it were discouraged in ours, as far as can +be consistent with Christianity. It is seldom known in England, that the +labourer, the lower mechanick, the servant, or the cottager thinks of +marrying until he hath saved up a stock of money sufficient to carry on +his business; nor takes a wife without a suitable portion; and as seldom +fails of making a yearly addition to that stock, with a view of +providing for his children. But, in this kingdom, the case is directly +contrary, where many thousand couples are yearly married, whose whole +united fortunes, bating the rags on their backs, would not be sufficient +to purchase a pint of butter-milk for their wedding supper, nor have any +prospect of supporting their _honourable state_, but by service, or +labour, or thievery. Nay, their _happiness_ is often deferred until they +find credit to borrow, or cunning to steal a shilling to pay their +Popish priest, or infamous couple-beggar. Surely no miraculous portion +of wisdom would be required to find some kind of remedy against this +destructive evil, or at least, not to draw the consequences of it upon +our decaying city; the greatest part whereof must of course in a few +years become desolate, or in ruins. + +In all other nations, that are not absolutely barbarous, parents think +themselves bound by the law of nature and reason to make some provision +for their children; but the reasons offered by the inhabitants of +Ireland for marrying is, that they may have children to maintain them +when they grow old and unable to work. + +I am informed that we have been for some time past extremely obliged to +England for one very beneficial branch of commerce: for, it seems they +are grown so gracious as to transmit us continually colonies of beggars, +in return of a million of money they receive yearly from hence. That I +may give no offence, I profess to mean real English beggars in the +literal meaning of the word, as it is usually understood by protestants. +It seems, the Justices of the Peace and parish officers in the western +coasts of England, have a good while followed the trade of exporting +hither their supernumerary beggars, in order to advance the English +Protestant interest among us; and, these they are so kind to send over +_gratis_, and duty free. I have had the honour more than once to attend +large cargoes of them from Chester to Dublin: and I was then so ignorant +as to give my opinion, that our city should receive them into +_bridewell_, and after a month's residence, having been well whipped +twice a day, fed with bran and water, and put to hard labour, they +should be returned honestly back with thanks as cheap as they came: or, +if that were not approved of, I proposed, that whereas one English man +is allowed to be of equal intrinsic value with twelve born in Ireland, +we should in justice return them a dozen for one, to dispose of as they +pleased. But to return. + +As to the native poor of this city, there would be little or no damage +in confining them to their several parishes. For instance; a beggar of +the parish of St. Warborough's,[191] or any other parish here, if he be +an object of compassion, hath an equal chance to receive his proportion +of alms from every charitable hand; because the inhabitants, one or +other, walk through every street in town, and give their alms, without +considering the place, wherever they think it may be well disposed of: +and these helps, added to what they get in eatables by going from house +to house among the gentry and citizens, will, without being very +burthensome, be sufficient to keep them alive. + +It is true, the poor of the suburb parishes will not have altogether the +same advantage, because they are not equally in the road of business and +passengers: but here it is to be considered, that the beggars there have +not so good a title to publick charity, because most of them are +strollers from the country, and compose a principal part of that great +nuisance, which we ought to remove. + +I should be apt to think, that few things can be more irksome to a city +minister, than a number of beggars which do not belong to his district, +whom he hath no obligation to take care of, who are no part of his +flock, and who take the bread out of the mouths of those, to whom it +properly belongs. When I mention this abuse to any minister of a +city-parish, he usually lays the fault upon the beadles, who he says are +bribed by the foreign beggars; and, as those beadles often keep +ale-houses, they find their account in such customers. This evil might +easily be remedied, if the parishes would make some small addition to +the salaries of a beadle, and be more careful in the choice of those +officers. But, I conceive there is one effectual method, in the power of +every minister to put in practice; I mean, by making it the interest of +all his own original poor, to drive out intruders: for, if the +parish-beggars were absolutely forbidden by the minister and +church-officers, to suffer strollers to come into the parish, upon pain +of themselves not being permitted to beg alms at the church-doors, or at +the houses and shops of the inhabitants; they would prevent interlopers +more effectually than twenty beadles. + +And, here I cannot but take notice of the great indiscretion in our +city-shopkeepers, who suffer their doors to be daily besieged by crowds +of beggars, (as the gates of a lord are by duns,) to the great disgust +and vexation of many customers, whom I have frequently observed to go to +other shops, rather than suffer such a persecution; which might easily +be avoided, if no foreign beggars were allowed to infest them. + +Wherefore, I do assert, that the shopkeepers, who are the greatest +complainers of this grievance, lamenting that for every customer, they +are worried by fifty beggars, do very well deserve what they suffer, +when a 'prentice with a horse-whip is able to lash every beggar from the +shop, who is not of the parish, and does not wear the badge of that +parish on his shoulder, well fastened and fairly visible; and if this +practice were universal in every house to all the sturdy vagrants, we +should in a few weeks clear the town of all mendicants, except those who +have a proper title to our charity: as for the aged and infirm, it would +be sufficient to give them nothing, and then they must starve or follow +their brethren. + +It was the city that first endowed this hospital, and those who +afterwards contributed, as they were such who generally inhabited here; +so they intended what they gave to be for the use of the city's poor. +The revenues which have since been raised by parliament, are wholly paid +by the city, without the least charge upon any other part of the +kingdom; and therefore nothing could more defeat the original design, +than to misapply those revenues on strolling beggars, or bastards from +the country, which bear no share in the charges we are at. + +If some of the out-parishes be overburthened with poor, the reason must +be, that the greatest part of those poor are strollers from the country, +who nestle themselves where they can find the cheapest lodgings, and +from thence infest every part of the town, out of which they ought to be +whipped as a most insufferable nuisance, being nothing else but a +profligate clan of thieves, drunkards, heathens, and whore-mongers, +fitter to be rooted out of the face of the earth, than suffered to levy +a vast annual tax upon the city, which shares too deep in the public +miseries, brought on us by the oppressions we lye under from our +neighbours, our brethren, our countrymen, our fellow protestants, and +fellow subjects. + +Some time ago I was appointed one of a committee to inquire into the +state of the workhouse; where we found that a charity was bestowed by a +great person for a certain time, which in its consequences operated +very much to the detriment of the house: for, when the time was elapsed, +all those who were supported by that charity, continued on the same foot +with the rest of the foundation; and being generally a pack of +profligate vagabond wretches from several parts of the kingdom, +corrupted all the rest; so partial, or treacherous, or interested, or +ignorant, or mistaken are generally all recommenders, not only to +employments, but even to charity itself. + +I know it is complained, that the difficulty of driving foreign beggars +out of the city is charged upon the _bellowers_ (as they are called) who +find their accounts best in suffering those vagrants to follow their +trade through every part of the town. But this abuse might easily be +remedied, and very much to the advantage of the whole city, if better +salaries were given to those who execute that office in the several +parishes, and would make it their interest to clear the town of those +caterpillars, rather than hazard the loss of an employment that would +give them an honest livelyhood. But, if that would fail, yet a general +resolution of never giving charity to a street beggar out of his own +parish, or without a visible badge, would infallibly force all vagrants +to depart. + +There is generally a vagabond spirit in beggars, which ought to be +discouraged and severely punished. It is owing to the same causes that +drove them into poverty; I mean, idleness, drunkenness, and rash +marriages without the least prospect of supporting a family by honest +endeavours, which never came into their thoughts. It is observed, that +hardly one beggar in twenty looks upon himself to be relieved by +receiving bread or other food; and they have in this town been +frequently seen to pour out of their pitcher good broth that hath been +given them, into the kennel; neither do they much regard clothes, unless +to sell them; for their rags are part of their tools with which they +work: they want only ale, brandy, and other strong liquors, which cannot +be had without money; and, money as they conceive, always abounds in the +metropolis. + +I had some other thoughts to offer upon this subject. But, as I am a +desponder in my nature, and have tolerably well discovered the +disposition of our people, who never will move a step towards easing +themselves from any one single grievance; it will be thought, that I +have already said too much, and to little or no purpose; which hath +often been the fate, or fortune of the writer, + + J. SWIFT. + + April 22, + 1737. + + + + +CONSIDERATIONS + +ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The text of this short paper is taken from Deane Swift's edition, + which was followed by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +CONSIDERATIONS ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR. + + +We have been amused, for at least thirty years past, with numberless +schemes, in writing and discourse, both in and out of Parliament, for +maintaining the poor, and setting them to work, especially in this city: +most of which were idle, indigested, or visionary; and all of them +ineffectual, as it has plainly appeared by the consequences. Many of +those projectors were so stupid, that they drew a parallel from Holland +to England, to be settled in Ireland; that is to say, from two countries +with full freedom and encouragement for trade, to a third where all kind +of trade is cramped, and the most beneficial parts are entirely taken +away. But the perpetual infelicity of false and foolish reasoning, as +well as proceeding and acting upon it, seems to be fatal to this +country. + +For my own part, who have much conversed with those folks who call +themselves merchants, I do not remember to have met with a more ignorant +and wrong-thinking race of people in the very first rudiments of trade; +which, however, was not so much owing to their want of capacity, as to +the crazy constitution of this kingdom, where pedlars are better +qualified to thrive than the wisest merchants. I could fill a volume +with only setting down a list of the public absurdities, by which this +kingdom has suffered within the compass of my own memory, such as could +not be believed of any nation, among whom folly was not established as a +law. I cannot forbear instancing a few of these, because it may be of +some use to those who shall have it in their power to be more cautious +for the future. + +The first was, the building of the barracks; whereof I have seen above +one-half, and have heard enough of the rest, to affirm that the public +has been cheated of at least two-thirds of the money raised for that +use, by the plain fraud of the undertakers. + +Another was the management of the money raised for the Palatines; when, +instead of employing that great sum in purchasing lands in some remote +and cheap part of the kingdom, and there planting those people as a +colony, the whole end was utterly defeated. + +A third is, the insurance office against fire, by which several thousand +pounds are yearly remitted to England, (a trifle, it seems, we can +easily spare,) and will gradually increase until it comes to a good +national tax: for the society-marks upon our houses (under which might +properly be written, "The Lord have mercy upon us!") spread faster and +farther than the colony of frogs.[192] I have, for above twenty years +past, given warning several thousand times to many substantial people, +and to such who are acquainted with lords and squires, and the like +great folks, to any of whom I have not the honour to be known: I +mentioned my daily fears, lest our watchful friends in England might +take this business out of our hands; and how easy it would be to prevent +that evil, by erecting a society of persons who had good estates, such, +for instance, as that noble knot of bankers, under the style of "Swift +and Company." But now we are become tributary to England, not only for +materials to light our own fires, but for engines to put them out; to +which, if hearth-money be added, (repealed in England as a grievance,) +we have the honour to pay three taxes for fire. + +A fourth was the knavery of those merchants, or linen-manufacturers, or +both, when, upon occasion of the plague at Marseilles, we had a fair +opportunity of getting into our hands the whole linen-trade of Spain; +but the commodity was so bad, and held at so high a rate, that almost +the whole cargo was returned, and the small remainder sold below the +prime cost. + +So many other particulars of the same nature crowd into my thoughts, +that I am forced to stop; and the rather because they are not very +proper for my subject, to which I shall now return. + +Among all the schemes for maintaining the poor of the city, and setting +them to work, the least weight has been laid upon that single point +which is of the greatest importance; I mean, that of keeping foreign +beggars from swarming hither out of every part of the country; for, +until this be brought to pass effectually, all our wise reasonings and +proceedings upon them will be vain and ridiculous. + +The prodigious number of beggars throughout this kingdom, in proportion +to so small a number of people, is owing to many reasons: to the +laziness of the natives; the want of work to employ them; the enormous +rents paid by cottagers for their miserable cabins and potatoe-plots; +their early marriages, without the least prospect of establishment; the +ruin of agriculture, whereby such vast numbers are hindered from +providing their own bread, and have no money to purchase it; the mortal +damp upon all kinds of trade, and many other circumstances, too tedious +or invidious to mention. + +And to the same causes we owe the perpetual concourse of foreign beggars +to this town, the country landlords giving all assistance, except money +and victuals, to drive from their estates those miserable creatures they +have undone. + +It was a general complaint against the poor-house, under its former +governors, "That the number of poor in this city did not lessen by +taking three hundred into the house, and all of them recommended under +the minister's and churchwardens' hands of the several parishes": and +this complaint must still continue, although the poor-house should be +enlarged to contain three thousand, or even double that number. + +The revenues of the poor-house, as it is now established, amount to +about two thousand pounds a-year; whereof two hundred allowed for +officers, and one hundred for repairs, the remaining seventeen hundred, +at four pounds a-head, will support four hundred and twenty-five +persons. This is a favourable allowance, considering that I subtract +nothing for the diet of those officers, and for wear and tear of +furniture; and if every one of these collegiates should be set to work, +it is agreed they will not be able to gain by their labour above +one-fourth part of their maintenance. + +At the same time, the oratorial part of these gentlemen seldom vouchsafe +to mention fewer than fifteen hundred or two thousand people, to be +maintained in this hospital, without troubling their heads about the +fund. * * * * + + + + +ON BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS + +IN IRELAND. + + + SIR, + +I have been lately looking over the advertisements in some of your +Dublin newspapers, which are sent me to the country, and was much +entertained with a large list of denominations of lands, to be sold or +let. I am confident they must be genuine; for it is impossible that +either chance or modern invention could sort the alphabet in such a +manner as to make those abominable sounds; whether first invented to +invoke or fright away the devil, I must leave among the curious. + +If I could wonder at anything barbarous, ridiculous, or absurd, among +us, this should be one of the first. I have often lamented that +Agricola, the father-in-law of Tacitus, was not prevailed on by that +petty king from Ireland, who followed his camp, to come over and +civilize us with a conquest, as his countrymen did Britain, where +several Roman appellations remain to this day, and so would the rest +have done, if that inundation of Angles, Saxons, and other northern +people, had not changed them so much for the worse, although in no +comparison with ours. In one of the advertisements just mentioned, I +encountered near a hundred words together, which I defy any creature in +human shape, except an Irishman of the savage kind, to pronounce; +neither would I undertake such a task, to be owner of the lands, unless +I had liberty to humanize the syllables twenty miles round. The +legislature may think what they please, and that they are above copying +the Romans in all their conquests of barbarous nations; but I am +deceived, if anything has more contributed to prevent the Irish from +being tamed, than this encouragement of their language, which might be +easily abolished, and become a dead one in half an age, with little +expense, and less trouble. + +How is it possible that a gentleman who lives in those parts where the +_town-lands_ (as they call them) of his estate produce such odious +sounds from the mouth, the throat, and the nose, can be able to repeat +the words without dislocating every muscle that is used in speaking, and +without applying the same tone to all other words, in every language he +understands; as it is plainly to be observed not only in those people of +the better sort who live in Galway and the Western parts, but in most +counties of Ireland? + +It is true, that, in the city parts of London, the trading people have +an affected manner of pronouncing; and so, in my time, had many ladies +and coxcombs at Court. It is likewise true, that there is an odd +provincial cant in most counties in England, sometimes not very pleasing +to the ear; and the Scotch cadence, as well as expression, are offensive +enough. But none of these defects derive contempt to the speaker: +whereas, what we call the _Irish brogue_ is no sooner discovered, than +it makes the deliverer in the last degree ridiculous and despised; and, +from such a mouth, an Englishman expects nothing but bulls, blunders, +and follies. Neither does it avail whether the censure be reasonable or +not, since the fact is always so. And, what is yet worse, it is too well +known, that the bad consequence of this opinion affects those among us +who are not the least liable to such reproaches, farther than the +misfortune of being born in Ireland, although of English parents, and +whose education has been chiefly in that kingdom. + +I have heard many gentlemen among us talk much of the great convenience +to those who live in the country, that they should speak Irish. It may +possibly be so; but I think they should be such who never intend to +visit England, upon pain of being ridiculous; for I do not remember to +have heard of any one man that spoke Irish, who had not the accent upon +his tongue easily discernible to any English ear. + +But I have wandered a little from my subject, which was only to propose +a wish that these execrable denominations were a little better suited to +an English mouth, if it were only for the sake of the English lawyers; +who, in trials upon appeals to the House of Lords, find so much +difficulty in repeating the names, that, if the plaintiff or defendant +were by, they would never be able to discover which were their own +lands. But, besides this, I would desire, not only that the appellations +of what they call _town-lands_ were changed, but likewise of larger +districts, and several towns, and some counties; and particularly the +seats of country-gentlemen, leaving an _alias_ to solve all difficulties +in point of law. But I would by no means trust these alterations to the +owners themselves; who, as they are generally no great clerks, so they +seem to have no large vocabulary about them, nor to be well skilled in +prosody. The utmost extent of their genius lies in naming their country +habitation by a hill, a mount, a brook, a burrow, a castle, a bawn, a +ford, and the like ingenious conceits. Yet these are exceeded by others, +whereof some have contrived anagramatical appellations, from half their +own and their wives' names joined together: others only from the lady; +as, for instance, a person whose wife's name was Elizabeth, calls his +seat by the name of _Bess-borow_. There is likewise a famous town, where +the worst iron in the kingdom is made, and it is called _Swandlingbar_: +the original of which name I shall explain, lest the antiquaries of +future ages might be at a loss to derive it. It was a most witty conceit +of four gentlemen, who ruined themselves with this iron project. _Sw._ +stands for _Swift_,[193] _And_, for _Sanders_, _Ling_ for _Davling_ and +_Bar._ for _Barry_. Methinks I see the four loggerheads sitting in +consult, like _Smectymnuus_, each gravely contributing a part of his own +name, to make up one for their place in the ironwork; and could wish +they had been hanged, as well as undone, for their wit. But I was most +pleased with the denomination of a town-land, which I lately saw in an +advertisement of Pue's paper: "This is to give notice, that the lands of +_Douras, alias_ WHIG-_borough_," &c. Now, this zealous proprietor, +having a mind to record his principles in religion or loyalty to future +ages, within five miles round him, for want of other merit, thought fit +to make use of this expedient: wherein he seems to mistake his account; +for this distinguishing term, whig, had a most infamous original, +denoting a man who favoured the fanatic sect, and an enemy to kings, and +so continued till this idea was a little softened, some years after the +Revolution, and during a part of her late Majesty's reign. After which +it was in disgrace until the Queen's death, since which time it hath +indeed flourished with a witness: But how long will it continue so, in +our variable scene, or what kind of mortal it may describe, is a +question which this courtly landlord is not able to answer; and +therefore he should have set a date on the title of his borough, to let +us know what kind of a creature a whig was in that year of our Lord. I +would readily assist nomenclators of this costive imagination, and +therefore I propose to others of the same size in thinking, that, when +they are at a loss about christening a country-seat, instead of +straining their invention, they would call it _Booby-borough_, +_Fool-brook_, _Puppy-ford_, _Coxcomb-hall_, _Mount-loggerhead_, +_Dunce-hill_; which are innocent appellations, proper to express the +talents of the owners. But I cannot reconcile myself to the prudence +of this lord of WHIG-_borough_, because I have not yet heard, among the +Presbyterian squires, how much soever their persons and principles are +in vogue, that any of them have distinguished their country abode by the +name of _Mount-regicide_, _Covenant-hall_, _Fanatic-hill_, +_Roundhead-bawn_, _Canting-brook_, or _Mont-rebel_, and the like; because +there may probably come a time when those kind of sounds may not be so +grateful to the ears of the kingdom. For I do not conceive it would be a +mark of discretion, upon supposing a gentleman, in allusion to his name, +or the merit of his ancestors, to call his house _Tyburn-hall_. + +But the scheme I would propose for changing the denominations of land +into legible and audible syllables, is by employing some gentlemen in +the University; who, by the knowledge of the Latin tongue, and their +judgment in sounds, might imitate the Roman way, by translating those +hideous words into their English meanings, and altering the termination +where a bare translation will not form a good cadence to the ear, or be +easily delivered from the mouth. And, when both those means happen to +fail, then to name the parcels of land from the nature of the soil, or +some peculiar circumstance belonging to it; as, in England, _Farn-ham_, +_Oat-lands_, _Black-heath_, _Corn-bury_, _Rye-gate_, _Ash-burnham_, +_Barn-elms_, _Cole-orton_, _Sand-wich_, and many others. + +I am likewise apt to quarrel with some titles of lords among us, that +have a very ungracious sound, which are apt to communicate mean ideas to +those who have not the honour to be acquainted with their persons or +their virtues, of whom I have the misfortune to be one. But I cannot +pardon those gentlemen who have gotten titles since the judicature of +the peers among us has been taken away, to which they all submitted with +a resignation that became good Christians, as undoubtedly they are. +However, since that time, I look upon a graceful harmonious title to be +at least forty _per cent._ in the value intrinsic of an Irish peerage; +and, since it is as cheap as the worst, for any Irish law hitherto +enacted in England to the contrary, I would advise the next set, before +they pass their patents, to call a consultation of scholars and musical +gentlemen, to adjust this most important and essential circumstance. The +Scotch noblemen, though born almost under the north pole, have much more +tunable appellations, except some very few, which I suppose were given +them by the Irish along with their language, at the time when that +kingdom was conquered and planted from hence; and to this day retain the +denominations of places, and surnames of families, as all historians +agree.[194] + +I should likewise not be sorry, if the names of some bishops' sees were +so much obliged to the alphabet, that upon pronouncing them we might +contract some veneration for the order and persons of those reverend +peers, which the gross ideas sometimes joined to their titles are very +unjustly apt to diminish. + + + + +SPEECH DELIVERED BY DEAN SWIFT + +TO AN ASSEMBLY OF MERCHANTS MET AT THE GUILDHALL, + +TO DRAW UP A PETITION TO THE LORD LIEUTENANT + +ON THE LOWERING OF COIN, + +APRIL 24TH, 1736. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Writing to Sheridan, under date April 24th, 1736, in a letter + written partly by herself and partly by Swift, Mrs. Whiteway, + Swift's housekeeper, refers to the occasion of this speech in the + following words: + + "The Drapier went this day to the Tholsel[195] as a merchant, to + sign a petition to the government against lowering the gold, where + we hear he made a long speech, for which he will be reckoned a + Jacobite. God send hanging does not go round." (Scott's edition, + vol. xviii., p. 470. 1824.) + + The occasion for this agitation against the lowering of the gold + arose thus. Archbishop Boulter had, for a long time, been much + concerned about the want of small silver in Ireland. The subject + seemed to weigh on him greatly, since he refers to it again and + again in his correspondence with Carteret, Newcastle, Dorset, and + Walpole. On May 25th, 1736, he wrote to Walpole to inform him that + the Lord Lieutenant had taken with him to England "an application + from the government for lowering the gold made current here, by + proclamation, and raising the foreign silver." Silver, being + scarce, bankers and tradesmen were accustomed to charge a premium + for the changing of gold, as much as sixpence and sevenpence in the + pound sterling being obtained. (See Boulter's "Letters," vol. ii., + p. 122. Dublin, 1770.) + + There was no question about the benefit of Boulter's scheme in the + minds of the two Houses of Commons and Lords: Swift, however, + opposed it vehemently, because he thought the advantage to be + obtained by this lowering of the gold would accrue to the + absentees. In 1687 James had issued a proclamation by which an + English shilling was made the equivalent of thirteen pence in + Ireland, and an English guinea to twenty-four shillings. Primate + Boulter's object (gained by the proclamation of the order on + September 29th, 1737) was to reduce the value of the guinea from + twenty-three shillings (at which it then stood) to _£1 2s. 9d._ + Swift, thinks Monck Mason, considered the absentees would benefit + by this "from the circumstances of the reserved rents, being + expressed in the imaginary coin, called a pound, but actually paid + in guineas, when the value of guineas was lowered, it required a + proportionately greater number to make up a specific sum" ("History + of St. Patrick's," p. 401, note c.) + + Swift, as he wrote to Sheridan, "battled in vain with the duke and + his clan." He thought it "just a kind of settlement upon England of + £25,000 a year for ever; yet some of my friends," he goes on to + say, "differ from me, though all agree that the absentees will be + just so much gainers." (Letter of date May 22nd, 1737.) + + In a note to Boulter's letter to the Duke of Newcastle (September + 29th, 1737) the editor of those letters (Ambrose Phillips) remarks: + "Such a spirit of opposition had been raised on this occasion by + Dean Swift and the bankers, that it was thought proper to lodge at + the Primate's house, an extraordinary guard of soldiers." This, + probably, was after the open exchange of words between Boulter and + Swift. The Primate had accused Swift of inflaming the minds of the + people, and hinted broadly that he might incur the displeasure of + the government. "I inflame them!" retorted Swift, "had I but lifted + my finger, they would have torn you to pieces." The day of the + proclaiming of the order for the lowering of the gold was marked by + Swift with the display of a black flag from the steeple of St. + Patrick's, and the tolling of muffled bells, a piece of conduct + which Boulter called an insult to the government. + + It is _à propos_ to record here the revenge Swift took on Boulter + for the accusation of inflaming the people. The incident was put by + him into the following verse: + + "At Dublin's high feast sat primate and dean, + Both dressed like divines, with hand and face clean: + Quoth Hugh of Armagh, 'the mob is grown bold.' + 'Ay, ay,' quoth the Dean, 'the cause is old gold.' + 'No, no,' quoth the primate, 'if causes we sift, + The mischief arises from witty Dean Swift.' + The smart one replies, 'There's no wit in the case; + And nothing of that ever troubled your grace. + Though with your state sieve your own motions you s--t, + A Boulter by name is no bolter of wit. + It's matter of weight, and a mere money job; + But the lower the coin, the higher the mob. + Go to tell your friend Bob and the other great folk, + That sinking the coin is a dangerous joke. + The Irish dear joys have enough common sense, + To treat gold reduced like Wood's copper pence. + It's pity a prelate should die without law; + But if I say the word--take care of Armagh!" + + With the lowering of the gold the Primate imported £2,000 worth of + copper money for Irish consumption. Swift was most indignant at + this, and his protest, printed by Faulkner, brought that publisher + before the Council, and gave Swift a fit of "nerves." (MS. Letter, + March 31st, 1737, to Lord Orrery, quoted by Craik in Swift's + "Life," vol. ii., p. 160.) Swift's objection against the copper was + due to the fact that it was not minted in Ireland. "I quarrel not + with the coin, but with the indignity of its not being coined + here." (Same MS. Letter.) + + Among the pamphlets in the Halliday collection in the Royal Irish + Academy, Dublin, is a tract with the following title: + + "Reasons why we should not lower the Coins now Current in this + Kingdom ... Dublin: Printed and Sold by E. Waters in Dame-street." + + At the end of this tract is printed Swift's speech to "an Assembly + of above one Hundred and fifty eminent persons who met at the Guild + Hall, on Saturday the 24th April, 1736, in order to draw up their + Petition, and present it to his grace the Lord Lieutenant against + lowering said Coin." It is from this tract that the present text + has been taken. The editor is obliged to Sir Henry Craik's "Life of + Swift" for drawing attention to this hitherto uncollected piece. + + [T. S.] + + + + +SPEECH DELIVERED ON THE LOWERING OF THE COIN. + + +I beg you will consider and very well weigh in your hearts, what I am +going to say and what I have often said before. There are several bodies +of men, among whom the power of this kingdom is divided--1st, The +Lord-Lieutenant, Lords Justices and Council; next to these, my Lords the +Bishops; there is likewise my Lord Chancellor, and my Lords the Judges +of the land--with other eminent persons in the land, who have +employments and great salaries annexed. To these must be added the +Commissioners of the Revenue, with all their under officers: and lastly, +their honours of the Army, of all degrees. + +Now, Gentlemen, I beg you again to consider that none of these persons +above named, can ever suffer the loss of one farthing by all the +miseries under which the kingdom groans at present. For, first, until +the kingdom be entirely ruined, the Lord-Lieutenant and Lords Justices +must have their salaries. My Lords the Bishops, whose lands are set at a +fourth part value, will be sure of their rents and their fines. My Lords +the Judges and those of other employments in the country must likewise +have their salaries. The gentlemen of the revenue will pay themselves, +and as to the officers of the army, the consequence of not paying them +is obvious enough. Nay, so far will those persons I have already +mentioned be from suffering, that, on the contrary, their revenues being +no way lessened by the fall of money, and the price of all commodities +considerably sunk thereby, they must be great gainers. Therefore, +Gentlemen, I do entreat you that as long as you live, you will look on +all persons who are for lowering the gold, or any other coin, as no +friends to this poor kingdom, but such, who find their private account +in what will be detrimental to Ireland. And as the absentees are, in +the strongest view, our greatest enemies, first by consuming above +one-half of the rents of this nation abroad, and secondly by turning the +weight, by their absence, so much on the Popish side, by weakening the +Protestant interest, can there be a greater folly than to pave a bridge +of gold at your own expense, to support them in their luxury and vanity +abroad, while hundreds of thousands are starving at home for want of +employment. + + + + +MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. + + + + +IRISH ELOQUENCE.[196] + + +I hope you will come and take a drink of my ale. I always brew with my +own bear. I was at your large Toun's house, in the county of Fermanegh. +He has planted a great many oak trees, and elm trees round his lough: +And a good warrent he had, it is kind father for him, I stayd with him a +week. At breakfast we had sometimes sowins, and sometimes stirrabout, +and sometimes fraughauns and milk; but his cows would hardly give a drop +of milk. For his head had lost the pachaun. His neighbour Squire Dolt is +a meer buddaugh. I'd give a cow in Conaught you could see him. He keeps +none but garrauns, and he rides on a soogaun with nothing for his bridle +but gadd. In that, he is a meer spaulpeen, and a perfect Monaghan, and a +Munster Croch to the bargain. Without you saw him on Sunday you would +take him for a Brogadeer and a spaned to a carl did not know had to draw +butter. We drank balcan and whisky out of madders. And the devil a +niglugam had but a caddao. I wonder your cozen does na learn him better +manners. Your cousin desires you will buy him some cheney cups. I +remember he had a great many; I wonder what is gone with them. I +coshered on him for a week. He has a fine staggard of corn. His dedy has +been very unwell. I was sorry that anything ayl her father's child. + +Firing is very dear thereabout. The turf is drawn tuo near in Kislers; +and they send new rounds from the mines, nothing comes in the Cleeves +but stock. We had a sereroar of beef, and once a runy for dinner. + + + + +A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE BETWEEN A. AND B.[197] + + +A. Them aples is very good. + +B. I cam _again_ you in that. + +A. Lord I was bodderd t'other day with that prating fool, Tom. + +B. Pray, how does he _get_ his health? + +A. He's often very _unwell_. + +B. [I] hear he was a great pet of yours. + +A. Where does he live? + +B. Opposite the red Lyon. + +A. I think he behaved very ill the last sessions. + +B. That's true, but I cannot forbear loving his father's child: Will you +take a glass of my ale? + +A. No, I thank you, I took a drink of small beer at home before I came +here. + +B. I always brew with my own bear: You have a country-house: Are you [a] +planter. + +A. Yes, I have planted a great many oak trees and ash trees, and some +elm trees round a lough. + +B. And so a good warrant you have: It is kind father for you. + +A. And what breakfast do you take in the country? + +B. Sometimes stirabout, and in sumer we have the best frauhaurg in all +the county. + +A. What kind of man is your neighbour Squire Dolt? + +B. Why, a meer Buddogh. He sometimes coshers with me; and once a month I +take a pipe with him, and we shot it about for an hour together. + +A. I hear he keeps good horses. + +B. None but garrauns, and I have seen him often riding on a sougawn. In +short, he is no better than a spawlpien; a perfect Marcghen. When I was +there last, we had nothing but a medder to drink out of; and the devil a +nighigam but a caddao. Will you go see him when you come unto our +quarter? + +A. Not _without_ you go with me. + +B. Will you lend me your snuff-box? + +A. Do you make good cheese and butter? + +B. Yes, when we can get milk; but our cows will never keep a drop of +milk without a Puckaun. + + + + +TO THE PROVOST AND SENIOR FELLOWS OF TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN. + + + Deanery House, + July 5, 1736. + + REV. AND WORTHY SIRS, + +As I had the honour of receiving some part of my education in your +university, and the good fortune to be of some service to it while I had +a share of credit at court, as well as since, when I had very little or +none, I may hope to be excused for laying a case before you, and +offering my opinion upon it. + +Mr. Dunkin,[198] whom you all know, sent me some time ago a memorial +intended to be laid before you, which perhaps he hath already done. His +request is, that you would be pleased to enlarge his annuity at present, +and that he may have the same right, in his turn, to the first church +preferment, vacant in your gift, as if he had been made a fellow, +according to the scheme of his aunt's will; because the absurdity of the +condition in it ought to be imputed to the old woman's ignorance, +although her intention be very manifest; and the intention of the +testator in all wills is chiefly regarded by the law. What I would +therefore propose is this, that you would increase his pension to one +hundred pounds a-year, and make him a firm promise of the first church +living in your disposal, to the value of two hundred pounds a-year, or +somewhat more. This I take to be a reasonable medium between what he +hath proposed in his memorial, and what you allow him at present. + +I am almost a perfect stranger to Mr. Dunkin, having never seen him +above twice, and then in mixed company, nor should I know his person if +I met him in the streets. + +But I know he is a man of wit and parts; which if applied properly to +the business of his function, instead of poetry, (wherein it must be +owned he sometimes excels,) might be of great use and service to him. + +I hope you will please to remember, that, since your body hath received +no inconsiderable benefaction from the aunt, it will much increase your +reputation, rather to err on the generous side toward the nephew. + +These are my thoughts, after frequently reflecting on the case under all +its circumstances; and so I leave it to your wiser judgments. + +I am, with true respect and esteem, reverend and worthy Sirs, + +Your most obedient and most humble servant, + + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL THE MAYOR, ALDERMEN, SHERIFFS, AND +COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF CORK. + + + Deanery House, Dublin, + August 15, 1737. + + GENTLEMEN, + +I received from you, some weeks ago, the honour of my freedom, in a +silver box, by the hands of Mr. Stannard; but it was not delivered to me +in as many weeks more; because, I suppose, he was too full of more +important business. Since that time, I have been wholly confined by +sickness, so that I was not able to return you my acknowledgment; and it +is with much difficulty I do it now, my head continuing in great +disorder. Mr. Faulkner will be the bearer of my letter, who sets out +this morning for Cork. + +I could have wished, as I am a private man, that, in the instrument of +my freedom, you had pleased to assign your reasons for making choice of +me. I know it is a usual compliment to bestow the freedom of the city on +an archbishop, or lord-chancellor, and other persons of great titles, +merely on account of their stations or power: but a private man, and a +perfect stranger, without power or grandeur, may justly expect to find +the motives assigned in the instrument of his freedom, on what account +he is thus distinguished. And yet I cannot discover, in the whole +parchment scrip, any one reason offered. Next, as to the silver box, +there is not so much as my name upon it, nor any one syllable to show it +was a present from your city. Therefore I have, by the advice of +friends, agreeable with my opinion, sent back the box and instrument of +freedom by Mr. Faulkner, to be returned to you; leaving to your choice +whether to insert the reasons for which you were pleased to give me my +freedom, or bestow the box upon some more worthy person whom you may +have an intention to honour, because it will equally fit everybody. + + I am, with true esteem and gratitude, + Gentlemen, + Your most obedient and obliged servant, + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE THE SOCIETY OF THE +GOVERNOR AND ASSISTANTS, LONDON, + +FOR THE NEW PLANTATION IN ULSTER, WITHIN THE REALM OF IRELAND, +AT THE CHAMBER IN GUILDHALL, LONDON. + + + + April 19, 1739. + WORTHY GENTLEMEN, + +I heartily recommend to your very Worshipful Society, the Reverend Mr. +William Dunkin,[199] for the living of Colrane, vacant by the death of +Dr. Squire. Mr. Dunkin is a gentleman of great learning and wit, true +religion, and excellent morals. It is only for these qualifications that +I recommend him to your patronage; and I am confident that you will +never repent the choice of such a man, who will be ready at any time to +obey your commands. You have my best wishes, and all my endeavours for +your prosperity: and I shall, during my life, continue to be, with the +truest respect and highest esteem, + + Worthy Sirs, + Your most obedient, and most humble servant, + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT. + + + Deanery-house, + Jan. 9, 1739-40 + +Whereas the bearer served me the space of one year, during which time he +was an idler and a drunkard, I then discharged him as such; but how far +his having been five years at sea may have mended his manners, I leave +to the penetration of those who may hereafter choose to employ him. + + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +AN EXHORTATION ADDRESSED TO THE +SUB-DEAN AND CHAPTER OF ST. +PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL, DUBLIN. + + + January 28, 1741. + +Whereas my infirmities of age and ill-health have prevented me to +preside in the chapters held for the good order and government of my +cathedral church of St. Patrick, Dublin, in person: I have, by a legal +commission, made and appointed the very reverend Doctor John Wynne, +prĉcentor of the said cathedral, to be sub-dean in my stead and absence. +I do hereby ratify and confirm all the powers delegated to the said Dr. +Wynne in the said Commission. + +And I do hereby require and request the very reverend sub-dean not to +permit any of the vicars-choral, choristers, or organists, to attend or +assist at any public musical performances, without my consent, or his +consent, with the consent of the chapter first obtained. + +And whereas it hath been reported, that I gave a licence to certain +vicars to assist at a club of fiddlers in Fishamble Street, I do hereby +declare that I remember no such licence to have been ever signed or +sealed by me; and that if ever such pretended licence should be +produced, I do hereby annul and vacate the said licence. Intreating my +said sub-dean and chapter to punish such vicars as shall ever appear +there, as songsters, fiddlers, pipers, trumpeters, drummers, +drum-majors, or in any sonal quality, according to the flagitious +aggravations of their respective disobedience, rebellion, perfidy, and +ingratitude. + +I require my said sub-dean to proceed to the extremity of expulsion, if +the said vicars should be found ungovernable, impenitent, or +self-sufficient, especially Taberner, Phipps, and Church, who, as I am +informed, have, in violation of my sub-dean's and chapter's order in +December last, at the instance of some obscure persons unknown, presumed +to sing and fiddle at the club above mentioned. + +My resolution is to preserve the dignity of my station, and the honour +of my chapter; and, gentlemen, it is incumbent upon you to aid me, and +to show who and what the Dean and Chapter of Saint Patrick's are. + + Signed by me, + JONATHAN SWIFT + Dean of St. Patrick's. + + Witnesses present, + JAMES KING, + FRANCIS WILSON. + +To the very Reverend Doctor John Wynne, sub-dean of the Cathedral church +of Saint Patrick, Dublin, and to the reverend dignitaries and +prebendaries of the same. + + + + +APPENDIX. + + + + +A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF THE OCCASIONAL PAPER. + + NOTE. + + + In April, 1727, Swift paid his last visit to England. The visit + paid by him to Walpole, already referred to, resulted in nothing, + though it cannot, on that account, be argued that Swift's open + friendship for, and even support of, Pulteney and Bolingbroke was + owing to his failure with Walpole. Swift pleaded with Walpole for + Ireland and Ireland only, as his letter to Peterborough amply + testifies. It had nothing to do with the political situation in + England. The explanation for this sympathy is most likely found in + Sir Henry Craik's suggestion that Swift humoured the pretences of + his friends that they were of the party that maintained the + national virtues, resisted corruption, and defended liberty against + arbitrary power. To Pulteney Swift always wrote reminding him that + the country looked to him as its saviour, and he wrote in a similar + vein to Bolingbroke and Pope. The "Craftsman" had been founded by + Pulteney and Bolingbroke (a curious companionship when one + remembers the past lives of these two men) for the express purpose + of bringing low Walpole's political power. It began by exposing the + tricks of "Robin" and continued to lay bare the cunning and wiles + of the "Craftsman" at the head of the government of the country. + Both Pulteney and Bolingbroke wrote regularly, and the former + displayed a journalistic power quite extraordinary. + + The letter which follows was written by Swift when in London on the + occasion of his last visit; but a note in Craik's "Life of Swift" + (vol. ii., pp. 166-167) is very interesting as showing that Swift + did certainly give hints for some of the subjects for discussion. I + take the liberty to transcribe this note in full. Sir Henry Craik + thinks it more than likely that Swift may have suggested, during + his last visit to London, some of the lines on which Bolingbroke + and Pulteney worked. In the note he adds: + + "This finds some confirmation, from the following heads of a Tract, + which I have found in a memorandum in Swift's handwriting. The + memorandum belongs to Mr. Frederick Locker [now dead], who kindly + permitted me to use his papers, the same which came from Theophilus + Swift into Scott's possession. But the interest of this memorandum + escaped Scott's notice." + + + "PROPOSAL FOR VIRTUE." + + "Every little fellow who has a vote now corrupted. + + "An arithmetical computation, how much spent in election of + Commons, and pensions and foreign courts: how then can our debts be + paid? + + "No fear that gentlemen will not stand and serve without Pensions, + and that they will let the Kingdom be invaded for want of fleets + and armies, or bring in Pretender, etc. + + "How K(ing) will ensure his own interest as well as the Publick: he + is now forced to keep himself bare, etc., at least, late King was. + + "Perpetual expedients, stop-gaps, etc., at long run must terminate + in something fatal, as it does in private estates. + + "There may be probably 10,000 landed men in England fit for + Parliament. This would reduce Parliament to consist of real landed + men, which is full as necessary for Senates as for Juries. What do + the other 9,000 do for want of pensions? + + " ... In private life, virtue may be difficult, by passions, + infirmities, temptations, want of pence, strong opposition, etc. + But not in public administration: there it makes all things easy. + + "Form the Scheme. Suppose a King of England would resolve to give + no pension for party, etc., and call a Parliament, perfectly free, + as he could. + + "What can a K. reasonably ask that a Parliament will refuse? When + they are resty, it is by corrupt ministers, who have designs + dangerous to the State, and must therefore support themselves by + bribing, etc. + + "Open, fair dealing the best. + + "A contemptuous character of Court art. How different from true + politics. For, comparing the talents of two professions that are + very different, I cannot but think, that in the present sense of + the word Politician, a common sharper or pickpocket, has every + quality that can be required in the other, and accordingly I have + personally known more than half a dozen in their hour esteemed + equally to excell in both." + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the + quarto issue of Swift's Works published in 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + + A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF + THE OCCASIONAL PAPER.[200] + + [VIDE THE CRAFTSMAN, 1727.] + + + SIR, + +Although, in one of your papers, you declare an intention of turning +them, during the dead season of the year, into accounts of domestic and +foreign intelligence; yet I think we, your correspondents, should not +understand your meaning so literally, as if you intended to reject +inserting any other paper, which might probably be useful for the +public. Neither, indeed, am I fully convinced that this new course you +resolve to take will render you more secure than your former laudable +practice, of inserting such speculations as were sent you by several +well-wishers to the good of the kingdom; however grating such notices +might be to some, who wanted neither power nor inclination to resent +them at your cost. For, since there is a direct law against spreading +false news, if you should venture to tell us in one of the Craftsmen +that the Dey of Algiers had got the toothache, or the King of Bantam had +taken a purge, and the facts should be contradicted in succeeding +packets; I do not see what plea you could offer to avoid the utmost +penalty of the law, because you are not supposed to be very gracious +among those who are most able to hurt you. + +Besides, as I take your intentions to be sincerely meant for the public +service, so your original method of entertaining and instructing us will +be more general and more useful in this season of the year, when people +are retired to amusements more cool, more innocent, and much more +reasonable than those they have left; when their passions are subsided +or suspended; when they have no occasions of inflaming themselves, or +each other; where they will have opportunities of hearing common sense, +every day in the week, from their tenants or neighbouring farmers, and +thereby be qualified, in hours of rain or leisure, to read and consider +the advice or information you shall send them. + +Another weighty reason why you should not alter your manner of writing, +by dwindling to a newsmonger, is because there is no suspension of arms +agreed on between you and your adversaries, who fight with a sort of +weapons which have two wonderful qualities, that they are never to be +worn out, and are best wielded by the weakest hands, and which the +poverty of our language forceth me to call by the trite appellations of +scurrility, slander, and Billingsgate. I am far from thinking that these +gentlemen, or rather their employers, (for the operators themselves are +too obscure to be guessed at) should be answered after their own way, +although it were possible to drag them out of their obscurity; but I +wish you would enquire what real use such a conduct is to the cause they +have been so largely paid to defend. The author of the three first +Occasional Letters, a person altogether unknown, hath been thought to +glance (for what reasons he best knows) at some public proceedings, as +if they were not agreeable to his private opinions. In answer to this, +the pamphleteers retained on the other side are instructed by their +superiors, to single out an adversary whose abilities they have most +reason to apprehend, and to load himself, his family, and friends, with +all the infamy that a perpetual conversation in Bridewell, Newgate, and +the stews could furnish them; but, at the same time, so very unluckily, +that the most distinguishing parts of their characters strike directly +in the face of their benefactor, whose idea presenting itself along with +his guineas perpetually to their imagination, occasioned this desperate +blunder. + +But, allowing this heap of slander to be truth, and applied to the +proper person; what is to be the consequence? Are our public debts to be +the sooner paid; the corruptions that author complains of to be the +sooner cured; an honourable peace, or a glorious war the more likely to +ensue; trade to flourish; the Ostend Company to be demolished; +Gibraltar and Port Mahon left entire in our possession; the balance of +Europe to be preserved; the malignity of parties to be for ever at an +end; none but persons of merit, virtue, genius, and learning to be +encouraged? I ask whether any of these effects will follow upon the +publication of this author's libel, even supposing he could prove every +syllable of it to be true? + +At the same time, I am well assured, that the only reason of ascribing +those papers to a particular person, is built upon the information of a +certain pragmatical spy of quality, well known to act in that capacity +by those into whose company he insinuates himself; a sort of persons +who, although without much love, esteem, or dread of people in present +power, yet have too much common prudence to speak their thoughts with +freedom before such an intruder; who, therefore, imposes grossly upon +his masters, if he makes them pay for anything but his own conjectures. + +It is a grievous mistake in a great minister to neglect or despise, much +more to irritate men of genius and learning. I have heard one of the +wisest persons in my time observe, that an administration was to be +known and judged by the talents of those who appeared their advocates in +print. This I must never allow to be a general rule; yet I cannot but +think it prodigiously unfortunate, that, among the answerers, defenders, +repliers, and panegyrists, started up in defence of present persons and +proceedings, there hath not yet arisen one whose labours we can read +with patience, however we may applaud their loyalty and good will. And +all this with the advantages of constant ready pay, of natural and +acquired venom, and a grant of the whole fund of slander, to range over +and riot in as they please.[201] + +On the other side, a turbulent writer of Occasional Letters, and other +vexatious papers, in conjunction perhaps with one or two friends as bad +as himself, is able to disconcert, tease, and sour us whenever he +thinks fit, merely by the strength of genius and truth; and after so +dexterous a manner, that, when we are vexed to the soul, and well know +the reasons why we are so, we are ashamed to own the first, and cannot +tell how to express the other. In a word, it seems to me that all the +writers are on one side, and all the railers on the other. + +However, I do not pretend to assert, that it is impossible for an ill +minister to find men of wit who may be drawn, by a very valuable +consideration, to undertake his defence; but the misfortune is, that the +heads of such writers rebel against their hearts; their genius forsakes +them, when they would offer to prostitute it to the service of +injustice, corruption, party rage, and false representations of things +and persons. + +And this is the best argument I can offer in defence of great men, who +have been of late so very unhappy in the choice of their +paper-champions; although I cannot much commend their good husbandry, in +those exorbitant payments of twenty and sixty guineas at a time for a +scurvy pamphlet; since the sort of work they require is what will all +come within the talents of any one who hath enjoyed the happiness of a +very bad education, hath kept the vilest company, is endowed with a +servile spirit, is master of an empty purse, and a heart full of malice. + +But, to speak the truth in soberness; it should seem a little hard, +since the old Whiggish principle hath been recalled of standing up for +the liberty of the press, to a degree that no man, for several years +past, durst venture out a thought which did not square to a point with +the maxims and practices that then prevailed: I say, it is a little hard +that the vilest mercenaries should be countenanced, preferred, rewarded, +for discharging their brutalities against men of honour, only upon a +bare conjecture. + +If it should happen that these profligates have attacked an innocent +person, I ask what satisfaction can their hirers give in return? Not all +the wealth raked together by the most corrupt rapacious ministers, in +the longest course of unlimited power, would be sufficient to atone for +the hundredth part of such an injury. + +In the common way of thinking, it is a situation sufficient in all +conscience to satisfy a reasonable ambition, for a private person to +command the forces, the laws, the revenues of a great kingdom, to +reward and advance his followers and flatterers as he pleases, and to +keep his enemies (real or imaginary) in the dust. In such an exaltation, +why should he be at the trouble to make use of fools to sound his +praises, (because I always thought the lion was hard set, when he chose +the ass for his trumpeter) or knaves to revenge his quarrels, at the +expense of innocent men's reputations? + +With all those advantages, I cannot see why persons, in the height of +power, should be under the least concern on account of their reputation, +for which they have no manner of use; or to ruin that of others, which +may perhaps be the only possession their enemies have left them. +Supposing times of corruption, which I am very far from doing, if a +writer displays them in their proper colours, does he do anything worse +than sending customers to the shop? "Here only, at the sign of the +Brazen Head, are to be sold places and pensions: beware of counterfeits, +and take care of mistaking the door." + +For my own part, I think it very unnecessary to give the character of a +great minister in the fulness of his power, because it is a thing that +naturally does itself, and is obvious to the eyes of all mankind; for +his personal qualities are all derived into the most minute parts of his +administration. If this be just, prudent, regular, impartial, intent +upon the public good, prepared for present exigencies, and provident of +the future; such is the director himself in his private capacity: If it +be rapacious, insolent, partial, palliating long and deep diseases of +the public with empirical remedies, false, disguised, impudent, +malicious, revengeful; you shall infallibly find the private life of the +conductor to answer in every point; nay, what is more, every twinge of +the gout or gravel will be felt in their consequences by the community. +As the thief-catcher, upon viewing a house broke open, could immediately +distinguish, from the manner of the workmanship, by what hand it was +done. + +It is hard to form a maxim against which an exception is not ready to +start up: So, in the present case, where the minister grows enormously +rich, the public is proportionably poor; as, in a private family, the +steward always thrives the fastest when his lord is running out. + + * * * * * + * * * * * + + + + +AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN.[202] + + +Regoge[203] was the thirty-fourth emperor of Japan, and began his reign +in the year 341 of the Christian era, succeeding to Nena,[204] a +princess who governed with great felicity. + +There had been a revolution in that empire about twenty-six years +before, which made some breaches in the hereditary line; and Regoge, +successor to Nena, although of the royal family, was a distant +relation. There were two violent parties in the empire, which began in +the time of the revolution above mentioned; and, at the death of the +Empress Nena, were in the highest degree of animosity, each charging the +other with a design of introducing new gods, and changing the civil +constitution. The names of these two parties were Husiges and +Yortes.[205] The latter were those whom Nena, the late empress, most +favoured towards the end of her reign, and by whose advice she governed. + +The Husige faction, enraged at their loss of power, made private +applications to Regoge during the life of the empress; which prevailed +so far, that, upon her death, the new emperor wholly disgraced the +Yortes, and employed only the Husiges in all his affairs. The Japanese +author highly blames his Imperial Majesty's proceeding in this affair; +because, it was allowed on all hands, that he had then a happy +opportunity of reconciling parties for ever by a moderating scheme. But +he, on the contrary, began his reign by openly disgracing the principal +and most popular Yortes, some of which had been chiefly instrumental in +raising him to the throne. By this mistaken step he occasioned a +rebellion; which, although it were soon quelled by some very surprising +turns of fortune, yet the fear, whether real or pretended, of new +attempts, engaged him in such immense charges, that, instead of clearing +any part of that prodigious debt left on his kingdom by the former war, +which might have been done by any tolerable management, in twelve years +of the most profound peace; he left his empire loaden with a vast +addition to the old encumbrance. + +This prince, before he succeeded to the empire of Japan, was king of +Tedsu,[206] a dominion seated on the continent, to the west side of +Japan. Tedsu was the place of his birth, and more beloved by him than +his new empire; for there he spent some months almost every year, and +thither was supposed to have conveyed great sums of money, saved out of +his Imperial revenues. + +There were two maritime towns of great importance bordering upon +Tedsu:[207] Of these he purchased a litigated title; and, to support it, +was forced not only to entrench deeply on his Japanese revenues, but to +engage in alliances very dangerous to the Japanese empire.[208] + +Japan was at that time a limited monarchy, which some authors are of +opinion was introduced there by a detachment from the numerous army of +Brennus, who ravaged a great part of Asia; and, those of them who fixed +in Japan, left behind them that kind of military institution, which the +northern people, in ensuing ages, carried through most parts of Europe; +the generals becoming kings, the great officers a senate of nobles, with +a representative from every centenary of private soldiers; and, in the +assent of the majority in these two bodies, confirmed by the general, +the legislature consisted. + +I need not farther explain a matter so universally known; but return to +my subject. + +The Husige faction, by a gross piece of negligence in the Yortes, had so +far insinuated themselves and their opinions into the favour of Regoge +before he came to the empire, that this prince firmly believed them to +be his only true friends, and the others his mortal enemies.[209] By +this opinion he governed all the actions of his reign. + +The emperor died suddenly, in his journey to Tedsu; where, according to +his usual custom, he was going to pass the summer. + +This prince, during his whole reign, continued an absolute stranger to +the language, the manners, the laws, and the religion of Japan; and +passing his whole time among old mistresses, or a few privadoes, left +the whole management of the empire in the hands of a minister, upon the +condition of being made easy in his personal revenues, and the +management of parties in the senate. His last minister,[210] who +governed in the most arbitrary manner for several years, he was thought +to hate more than he did any other person in Japan, except his only +son, the heir to the empire. The dislike he bore to the former was, +because the minister, under pretence that he could not govern the senate +without disposing of employments among them, would not suffer his master +to oblige one single person, but disposed of all to his own relations +and dependants. But, as to that continued and virulent hatred he bore to +the prince his son, from the beginning of his reign to his death, the +historian hath not accounted for it, further than by various +conjectures, which do not deserve to be related. + +The minister above mentioned was of a family not contemptible, had been +early a senator, and from his youth a mortal enemy to the Yortes. He had +been formerly disgraced in the senate, for some frauds in the management +of a public trust.[211] He was perfectly skilled, by long practice, in +the senatorial forms; and dexterous in the purchasing of votes, from +those who could find their accounts better in complying with his +measures, than they could probably lose by any tax that might be charged +on the kingdom. He seemed to fail, in point of policy, by not concealing +his gettings, never scrupling openly to lay out vast sums of money in +paintings, buildings, and purchasing estates; when it was known, that, +upon his first coming into business, upon the death of the Empress Nena, +his fortune was but inconsiderable. He had the most boldness, and the +least magnanimity that ever any mortal was endowed with. By enriching +his relations, friends, and dependants, in a most exorbitant manner, he +was weak enough to imagine that he had provided a support against an +evil day. He had the best among all false appearances of courage, which +was a most unlimited assurance, whereby he would swagger the boldest men +into a dread of his power, but had not the smallest portion of +magnanimity, growing jealous, and disgracing every man, who was known to +bear the least civility to those he disliked. He had some small +smattering in books, but no manner of politeness; nor, in his whole +life, was ever known to advance any one person, upon the score of wit, +learning, or abilities for business. The whole system of his ministry +was corruption; and he never gave bribe or pension, without frankly +telling the receivers what he expected from them, and threatening them +to put an end to his bounty, if they failed to comply in every +circumstance. + +A few months before the emperor's death, there was a design concerted +between some eminent persons of both parties, whom the desperate state +of the empire had united, to accuse the minister at the first meeting of +a new chosen senate, which was then to assemble according to the laws of +that empire. And it was believed, that the vast expense he must be at in +choosing an assembly proper for his purpose, added to the low state of +the treasury, the increasing number of pensioners, the great discontent +of the people, and the personal hatred of the emperor; would, if well +laid open in the senate, be of weight enough to sink the minister, when +it should appear to his very pensioners and creatures that he could not +supply them much longer. + +While this scheme was in agitation, an account came of the emperor's +death, and the prince his son,[212] with universal joy, mounted the +throne of Japan. + +The new emperor had always lived a private life, during the reign of his +father; who, in his annual absence, never trusted him more than once +with the reins of government, which he held so evenly that he became too +popular to be confided in any more. He was thought not unfavourable to +the Yortes, at least not altogether to approve the virulence wherewith +his father proceeded against them; and therefore, immediately upon his +succession, the principal persons of that denomination came, in several +bodies, to kiss the hem of his garment, whom he received with great +courtesy, and some of them with particular marks of distinction. + +The prince, during the reign of his father, having not been trusted with +any public charge, employed his leisure in learning the language, the +religion, the customs, and disposition of the Japanese; wherein he +received great information, among others, from Nomptoc[213], master of +his finances, and president of the senate, who secretly hated Lelop-Aw, +the minister; and likewise from Ramneh[214], a most eminent senator; +who, despairing to do any good with the father, had, with great +industry, skill, and decency, used his endeavour to instil good +principles into the young prince. + +Upon the news of the former emperor's death, a grand council was +summoned of course, where little passed besides directing the ceremony +of proclaiming the successor. But, in some days after, the new emperor +having consulted with those persons in whom he could chiefly confide, +and maturely considered in his own mind the present state of his +affairs, as well as the disposition of his people, convoked another +assembly of his council; wherein, after some time spent in general +business, suitable to the present emergency, he directed Lelop-Aw to +give him, in as short terms as he conveniently could, an account of the +nation's debts, of his management in the senate, and his negotiations +with foreign courts: Which that minister having delivered, according to +his usual manner, with much assurance and little satisfaction, the +emperor desired to be fully satisfied in the following particulars. + +Whether the vast expense of choosing such members into the senate, as +would be content to do the public business, were absolutely necessary? + +Whether those members, thus chosen in, would cross and impede the +necessary course of affairs, unless they were supplied with great sums +of money, and continued pensions? + +Whether the same corruption and perverseness were to be expected from +the nobles? + +Whether the empire of Japan were in so low a condition, that the +imperial envoys, at foreign courts, must be forced to purchase +alliances, or prevent a war, by immense bribes, given to the ministers +of all the neighbouring princes? + +Why the debts of the empire were so prodigiously advanced, in a peace of +twelve years at home and abroad? + +Whether the Yortes were universally enemies to the religion and laws of +the empire, and to the imperial family now reigning? + +Whether those persons, whose revenues consist in lands, do not give +surer pledges of fidelity to the public, and are more interested in the +welfare of the empire, than others whose fortunes consist only in money? + +And because Lelop-Aw, for several years past, had engrossed the whole +administration, the emperor signified, that from him alone he expected +an answer. + +This minister, who had sagacity enough to cultivate an interest in the +young prince's family, during the late emperor's life, received early +intelligence from one of his emissaries of what was intended at the +council, and had sufficient time to frame as plausible an answer as his +cause and conduct would allow. However, having desired a few minutes to +put his thoughts in order, he delivered them in the following manner. + + * * * * * + + "SIR, + +"Upon this short unexpected warning, to answer your Imperial Majesty's +queries I should be wholly at a loss, in your Majesty's august presence, +and that of this most noble assembly, if I were armed with a weaker +defence than my own loyalty and integrity, and the prosperous success of +my endeavours. + +"It is well known that the death of the Empress Nena happened in a most +miraculous juncture; and that, if she had lived two months longer, your +illustrious family would have been deprived of your right, and we should +have seen an usurper upon your throne, who would have wholly changed the +constitution of this empire, both civil and sacred; and although that +empress died in a most opportune season, yet the peaceable entrance of +your Majesty's father was effected by a continual series of miracles. +The truth of this appears by that unnatural rebellion which the Yortes +raised, without the least provocation, in the first year of the late +emperor's reign, which may be sufficient to convince your Majesty, that +every soul of that denomination was, is, and will be for ever, a +favourer of the Pretender, a mortal enemy to your illustrious family, +and an introducer of new gods into the empire. Upon this foundation was +built the whole conduct of our affairs; and, since a great majority of +the kingdom was at that time reckoned to favour the Yortes faction, who, +in the regular course of elections, must certainly be chosen members of +the senate then to be convoked; it was necessary, by the force of money, +to influence elections in such a manner, that your Majesty's father +might have a sufficient number to weigh down the scale on his side, and +thereby carry on those measures which could only secure him and his +family in the possession of the empire. To support this original plan I +came into the service: But the members of the senate, knowing themselves +every day more necessary, upon the choosing of a new senate, I found the +charges to increase; and that, after they were chosen, they insisted +upon an increase of their pensions; because they well knew that the work +could not be carried on without them: And I was more general in my +donatives, because I thought it was more for the honour of the crown, +that every vote should pass without a division; and that, when a debate +was proposed, it should immediately be quashed, by putting the question. + +"Sir, The date of the present senate is expired, and your Imperial +Majesty is now to convoke a new one; which, I confess, will be somewhat +more expensive than the last, because the Yortes, from your favourable +reception, have begun to reassume a spirit whereof the country had some +intelligence; and we know the majority of the people, without proper +management, would be still in that fatal interest. However, I dare +undertake, with the charge only of four hundred thousand sprangs,[215] +to return as great a majority of senators of the true stamp, as your +Majesty can desire. As to the sums of money paid in foreign courts, I +hope, in some years, to ease the nation of them, when we and our +neighbours come to a good understanding. However, I will be bold to say, +they are cheaper than a war, where your Majesty is to be a principal. + +"The pensions, indeed, to senators and other persons, must needs +increase, from the restiveness of some, and scrupulous nature of others; +and the new members, who are unpractised, must have better +encouragement. However, I dare undertake to bring the eventual charge +within eight hundred thousand sprangs. But, to make this easy, there +shall be new funds raised, of which I have several schemes ready, +without taxing bread or flesh, which shall be referred to more pressing +occasions. + +"Your Majesty knows it is the laudable custom of all Eastern princes, to +leave the whole management of affairs, both civil and military, to their +viziers. The appointments for your family, and private purse, shall +exceed those of your predecessors: You shall be at no trouble, further +than to appear sometimes in council, and leave the rest to me: You shall +hear no clamour or complaints: Your senate shall, upon occasions, +declare you the best of princes, the father of your country, the arbiter +of Asia, the defender of the oppressed, and the delight of mankind. + +"Sir, Hear not those who would most falsely, impiously, and maliciously +insinuate, that your government can be carried on without that +wholesome, necessary expedient, of sharing the public revenue with your +faithful deserving senators. This, I know, my enemies are pleased to +call bribery and corruption. Be it so: But I insist, that without this +bribery and corruption, the wheels of government will not turn, or at +least will be apt to take fire, like other wheels, unless they be +greased at proper times. If an angel from heaven should descend, to +govern this empire upon any other scheme than what our enemies call +corruption, he must return from whence he came, and leave the work +undone. + +"Sir, It is well known we are a trading nation, and consequently cannot +thrive in a bargain where nothing is to be gained. The poor electors, +who run from their shops, or the plough, for the service of their +country, are they not to be considered for their labour and their +loyalty? The candidates, who, with the hazard of their persons, the loss +of their characters, and the ruin of their fortunes, are preferred to +the senate, in a country where they are strangers, before the very lords +of the soil; are they not to be rewarded for their zeal to your +Majesty's service, and qualified to live in your metropolis as becomes +the lustre of their stations? + +"Sir, If I have given great numbers of the most profitable employments +among my own relations and nearest allies, it was not out of any +partiality, but because I know them best, and can best depend upon them. +I have been at the pains to mould and cultivate their opinions. Abler +heads might probably have been found, but they would not be equally +under my direction. A huntsman, who hath the absolute command of his +dogs, will hunt more effectually than with a better pack, to whose +manner and cry he is a stranger. + +"Sir, Upon the whole, I will appeal to all those who best knew your +royal father, whether that blessed monarch had ever one anxious thought +for the public, or disappointment, or uneasiness, or want of money for +all his occasions, during the time of my administration? And, how happy +the people confessed themselves to be under such a king, I leave to +their own numerous addresses; which all politicians will allow to be the +most infallible proof how any nation stands affected to their +sovereign." + + * * * * * + +Lelop-Aw, having ended his speech and struck his forehead thrice against +the table, as the custom is in Japan, sat down with great complacency of +mind, and much applause of his adherents, as might be observed by their +countenances and their whispers. But the Emperor's behaviour was +remarkable; for, during the whole harangue, he appeared equally +attentive and uneasy. After a short pause, His Majesty commanded that +some other counsellor should deliver his thoughts, either to confirm or +object against what had been spoken by Lelop-Aw. + + + + +THE ANSWER OF THE RIGHT HON. WILLIAM PULTENEY, ESQ., TO THE +RIGHT HON. SIR ROBERT WALPOLE.[216] + + + Oct. 15, 1730. + SIR, + +A pamphlet was lately sent me, entitled, "A Letter from the Right +Honourable Sir R. W. to the Right Honourable W. P. Esq; occasioned by the +late Invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family." By +these initial letters of our names, the world is to understand that you +and I must be meant. Although the letter seems to require an answer, yet +because it appears to be written rather in the style and manner used by +some of your pensioners, than your own, I shall allow you the liberty to +think the same of this answer, and leave the public to determine which +of the two actors can better personate their principals. That frigid and +fustian way of haranguing wherewith your representer begins, continues, +and ends his declamation, I shall leave to the critics in eloquence and +propriety to descant on; because it adds nothing to the weight of your +accusations, nor will my defence be one grain the better by exposing its +puerilities. + +I shall therefore only remark upon this particular, that the frauds and +corruptions in most other arts and sciences, as law, physic (I shall +proceed no further) are usually much more plausibly defended than in +that of politics; whether it be, that by a kind of fatality the +vindication of a corrupt minister is always left to the management of +the meanest and most prostitute writers; or whether it be, that the +effects of a wicked or unskilful administration, are more public, +visible, pernicious and universal. Whereas the mistakes in other +sciences are often matters that affect only speculation; or at worst, +the bad consequences fall upon few and private persons. A nation is +quickly sensible of the miseries it feels, and little comforted by +knowing what account it turns to by the wealth, the power, the honours +conferred on those who sit at the helm, or the salaries paid to their +penmen; while the body of the people is sunk into poverty and despair. A +Frenchman in his wooden shoes may, from the vanity of his nation, and +the constitution of that government, conceive some imaginary pleasure in +boasting the grandeur of his monarch, in the midst of his own slavery; +but a free-born Englishman, with all his loyalty, can find little +satisfaction at a minister overgrown in wealth and power from the lowest +degree of want and contempt; when that power or wealth are drawn from +the bowels and blood of the nation, for which every fellow-subject is a +sufferer, except the great man himself, his family, and his pensioners. +I mean such a minister (if there hath ever been such a one) whose whole +management hath been a continued link of ignorance, blunders, and +mistakes in every article besides that of enriching and aggrandizing +himself. + +For these reasons the faults of men, who are most trusted in public +business, are, of all others, the most difficult to be defended. A man +may be persuaded into a wrong opinion, wherein he hath small concern: +but no oratory can have the power over a sober man against the +conviction of his own senses: and therefore, as I take it, the money +thrown away on such advocates might be more prudently spared, and kept +in such a minister's own pocket, than lavished in hiring a corporation +of pamphleteers to defend his conduct, and prove a kingdom to be +flourishing in trade and wealth, which every particular subject (except +those few already excepted) can lawfully swear, and, by dear experience +knows, to be a falsehood. + +Give me leave, noble sir, in the way of argument, to suppose this to be +your case; could you in good conscience, or moral justice, chide your +paper-advocates for their ill success in persuading the world against +manifest demonstration? Their miscarriage is owing, alas! to want of +matter. Should we allow them to be masters of wit, raillery, or +learning, yet the subject would not admit them to exercise their +talents; and, consequently, they can have no recourse but to impudence, +lying, and scurrility. + +I must confess, that the author of your letter to me hath carried this +last qualification to a greater height than any of his fellows: but he +hath, in my opinion, failed a little in point of politeness from the +original which he affects to imitate. If I should say to a prime +minister, "Sir, you have sufficiently provided that Dunkirk should be +absolutely demolished and never repaired; you took the best advantages +of a long and general peace to discharge the immense debts of the +nation; you did wonders with the fleet; you made the Spaniards submit to +our quiet possession of Gibraltar and Portmahon; you never enriched +yourself and family at the expense of the public."--Such is the style of +your supposed letter, which however, if I am well informed, by no means +comes up to the refinements of a fishwife in Billingsgate. "You never +had a bastard by Tom the waterman; you never stole a silver tankard; you +were never whipped at the cart's tail." + +In the title of your letter, it is said to be "occasioned by the late +invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family:" and the +whole contents of the paper (stripped from your eloquence) goes on upon +a supposition affectedly serious, that their Majesties, and the whole +Royal Family, have been lately bitterly and publicly inveighed against +in the most enormous and treasonable manner. Now, being a man, as you +well know, altogether out of business, I do sometimes lose an hour in +reading a few of those controversial papers upon politics, which have +succeeded for some years past to the polemical tracts between Whig and +Tory: and in this kind of reading (if it may deserve to be so called) +although I have been often but little edified, or entertained, yet hath +it given me occasion to make some observations. First, I have observed, +that however men may sincerely agree in all the branches of the Low +Church principle, in a tenderness for dissenters of every kind, in a +perfect abhorrence of Popery and the Pretender, and in the most firm +adherence to the Protestant succession in the royal house of Hanover; +yet plenty of matter may arise to kindle their animosities against each +other from the various infirmities, follies, and vices inherent in +mankind. + +Secondly, I observed, that although the vulgar reproach which charges +the quarrels between ministers, and their opposers, to be only a +contention for power between those who are in, and those who would be in +if they could; yet as long as this proceeds no further than a scuffle of +ambition among a few persons, it is only a matter of course, whereby the +public is little affected. But when corruptions are plain, open, and +undisguised, both in their causes and effects, to the hazard of a +nation's ruin, and so declared by all the principal persons and the bulk +of the people, those only excepted who are gainers by those corruptions: +and when such ministers are forced to fly for shelter to the throne, +with a complaint of disaffection to majesty against all who durst +dislike their administration: such a general disposition in the minds of +men, cannot, I think, by any rules of reason, be called the "clamour of +a few disaffected incendiaries," gasping[217] after power. It is the +true voice of the people; which must and will at last be heard, or +produce consequences that I dare not mention. + +I have observed thirdly, that among all the offensive printed papers +which have come to my hand, whether good or bad, the writers have taken +particular pains to celebrate the virtues of our excellent King and +Queen, even where these were, strictly speaking, no part of the subject: +nor can it be properly objected that such a proceeding was only a blind +to cover their malice towards you and your assistants; because to +affront the King, Queen, or the Royal Family, as it would be directly +opposite to the principles that those kind of writers have always +professed, so it would destroy the very end they have in pursuit. And it +is somewhat remarkable, that those very writers against you, and the +regiment you command, are such as most distinguish themselves upon all, +or upon no occasions, by their panegyrics on their prince; and, as all +of them do this without favour or hire, so some of them continue the +same practice under the severest prosecution by you and your janizaries. + +You seem to know, or at least very strongly to conjecture, who those +persons are that give you so much weekly disquiet. Will you dare to +assert that any of these are Jacobites, endeavour to alienate the hearts +of the people, to defame the prince, and then dethrone him (for these +are your expressions) and that I am their patron, their bulwark, their +hope, and their refuge? Can you think I will descend to vindicate myself +against an aspersion so absurd? God be thanked, we have had many a +change of ministry without changing our prince: for if it had been +otherwise, perhaps revolutions might have been more frequent. Heaven +forbid that the welfare of a great kingdom, and of a brave people, +should be trusted with the thread of a single subject's life; for I +suppose it is not yet in your view to entail the ministryship in your +family. Thus I hope we may live to see different ministers and different +measures, without any danger to the succession in the royal Protestant +line of Hanover. + +You are pleased to advance a topic, which I could never heartily approve +of in any party, although they have each in their turn advanced it while +they had the superiority. You tell us, "It is hard that while every +private man shall have the liberty to choose what servants he pleaseth, +the same privilege should be refused to a king." This assertion, crudely +understood, can hardly be supported. If by servants be only meant those +who are purely menial, who provide for their master's food and clothing, +or for the convenience and splendour of his family, the point is not +worth debating. But the bad or good choice of a chancellor, a secretary, +an ambassador, a treasurer, and many other officers, is of very high +consequence to the whole kingdom; so is likewise that amphibious race of +courtiers between servants and ministers; such as the steward, +chamberlain, treasurer of the household and the like, being all of the +privy council, and some of the cabinet, who according to their talents, +their principles, and their degree of favour, may be great instruments +of good or evil, both to the subject and the prince; so that the +parallel is by no means adequate between a prince's court and a private +family. And yet if an insolent footman be troublesome in the +neighbourhood; if he breaks the people's windows, insults their +servants, breaks into other folk's houses to pilfer what he can find, +although he belong to a duke, and be a favourite in his station, yet +those who are injured may, without just offence, complain to his lord, +and for want of redress get a warrant to send him to the stocks, to +Bridewell, or to Newgate, according to the nature and degree of his +delinquencies. Thus the servants of the prince, whether menial or +otherwise, if they be of his council, are subject to the enquiries and +prosecutions of the great council of the nation, even as far as to +capital punishment; and so must ever be in our constitution, till a +minister can procure a majority even of that council to shelter him; +which I am sure you will allow to be a desperate crisis under any party +of the most plausible denomination. + +The only instance you produce, or rather insinuate, to prove the late +invectives against the King, Queen, and Royal Family, is drawn from that +deduction of the English history, published in several papers by the +_Craftsman_; wherein are shewn the bad consequences to the public, as +well as to the prince, from the practices of evil ministers in most +reigns, and at several periods, when the throne was filled by wise +monarchs as well as by weak. This deduction, therefore, cannot +reasonably give the least offence to a British king, when he shall +observe that the greatest and ablest of his predecessors, by their own +candour, by a particular juncture of affairs, or by the general +infirmity of human nature, have sometimes put too much trust in +confident, insinuating, and avaricious ministers. + +Wisdom, attended by virtue and a generous nature, is not unapt to be +imposed on. Thus Milton describes Uriel, "the sharpest-sighted spirit in +heaven," and "regent of the sun," deceived by the dissimulation and +flattery of the devil, for which the poet gives a philosophical reason, +but needless here to quote.[218] Is anything more common, or more +useful, than to caution wise men in high stations against putting too +much trust in undertaking servants, cringing flatterers, or designing +friends? Since the Asiatic custom of governing by prime ministers hath +prevailed in so many courts of Europe, how careful should every prince +be in the choice of the person on whom so great a trust is devolved, +whereon depend the safety and welfare of himself and all his subjects. +Queen Elizabeth, whose administration is frequently quoted as the best +pattern for English princes to follow, could not resist the artifices of +the Earl of Leicester, who, although universally allowed to be the most +ambitious, insolent, and corrupt person of his age, was yet her +greatest, and almost her only favourite: (his religion indeed being +partly puritan and partly infidel, might have better tallied with +present times) yet this wise queen would never suffer the openest +enemies of that overgrown lord to be sacrificed to his vengeance; nor +durst he charge them with a design of introducing Popery or the Spanish +pretender. + +How many great families do we all know, whose masters have passed for +persons of good abilities, during the whole course of their lives, and +yet the greatest part of whose estates have sunk in the hands of their +stewards and receivers; their revenues paid them in scanty portions, at +large discount, and treble interest, though they did not know it; while +the tenants were daily racked, and at the same time accused to their +landlords of insolvency. Of this species are such managers, who, like +honest Peter Waters, pretend to clear an estate, keep the owner +penniless, and, after seven years, leave him five times more in debt, +while they sink half a plum into their own pockets. + +Those who think themselves concerned, may give you thanks for that +gracious liberty you are pleased to allow them of "taking vengeance on +the ministers, and there shooting their envenomed arrows." As to myself; +I neither owe you vengeance, nor make use of such weapons: but it is +your weakness, or ill fortune, or perhaps the fault of your +constitution, to convert wholesome remedies into poison; for you have +received better and more frequent instructions than any minister of your +age and country, if God had given you the grace to apply them. + +I dare promise you the thanks of half the kingdom, if you will please to +perform the promise you have made of suffering the _Craftsman_ and +company, or whatever other "infamous wretches and execrable villains" +you mean, to take their vengeance only on your own sacred ministerial +person, without bringing any of your brethren, much less the most remote +branch of the Royal Family, into the debate. This generous offer I +suspected from the first; because there were never heard of so many, so +unnecessary, and so severe prosecutions as you have promoted during your +ministry, in a kingdom where the liberty of the press is so much +pretended to be allowed. But in reading a page or two, I found you +thought it proper to explain away your grant; for there you tell us, +that "these miscreants" (meaning the writers against you) "are to +remember that the laws have ABUNDANTLY LESS generous, less mild +and merciful sentiments" than yourself, and into their secular hands the +poor authors must be delivered to fines, prisons, pillories, whippings, +and the gallows. Thus your promise of impunity, which began somewhat +jesuitically, concludes with the mercy of a Spanish inquisitor. + +If it should so happen that I am neither "abettor, patron, protector," +nor "supporter" of these imaginary invectives "against the King, her +Majesty, or any of the Royal Family," I desire to know what +satisfaction I am to get from you, or the creature you employed in +writing the libel which I am now answering? It will be no excuse to +say, that I differ from you in every particular of your political +reason and practise; because that will be to load the best, the +soundest, and most numerous part of the kingdom with the denominations +you are pleased to bestow upon me, that they are "Jacobites, wicked +miscreants, infamous wretches, execrable villains, and defamers of the +King, Queen, and all the Royal Family," and "guilty of high treason." +You cannot know my style; but I can easily know your works, which are +performed in the sight of the sun. Your good inclinations are +visible; but I begin to doubt the strength of your credit, even at +court, that you have not power to make his Majesty believe me the +person which you represent in your libel: as most infallibly you have +often attempted, and in vain, because I must otherwise have found it +by the marks of his royal displeasure. However, to be angry with you +to whom I am indebted for the greatest obligation I could possibly +receive, would be the highest ingratitude. It is to YOU I owe that +reputation I have acquired for some years past of being a lover of my +country and its constitution: to YOU I owe the libels and scurrilities +conferred upon me by the worst of men, and consequently some degree of +esteem and friendship from the best. From YOU I learned the skill of +distinguishing between a patriot and a plunderer of his country: and +from YOU I hope in time to acquire the knowledge of being a loyal, +faithful, and useful servant to the best of princes, King George the +Second; and therefore I can conclude, by your example, but with +greater truth, that I am not only with humble submission and respect, +but with infinite gratitude, Sir, your most obedient and most obliged +servant, + + W. P. + + + + + INDEX + + + Acheson, Sir Arthur, 246. + + Alberoni's expedition, 207. + + Allen, Joshua, Lord, his attack on Swift, 168, 169, 175, 176, 236, 237; + account of, 175. + + America, emigration from Ireland to, 120. + + Arachne, fable of, 21. + + + Ballaquer, Carteret's secretary, 242. + + Bank, proposal for a national, in Ireland, 27, 31, 38, 42, 43; + subscribers to the, 49-51. + + Barbou, Dr Nicholas, 69. + + Barnstaple, the chief market for Irish wool, 18. + + Beggars in Ireland, 70; + Proposal for giving Badges to, 323-335; + reason for the number of, 341. + + Birch, Colonel John, 6. + + Bishops, Swift's proposal to sell the lands of the, 252 _et seq._ + + Bladon, Colonel, 23. + + Bolingbroke, Lord, his contributions to the "Craftsman," 219, 375, 377. + + Boulter, Archbishop, his scheme for lowering the gold coinage, 353; + opposed by Swift, 353, 354. + + Browne, Sir John, his "Scheme of the money matters of Ireland," 66; + Swift's answer to his "Memorial," 109-116. + + Burnet, William, 121. + + + Carteret, John, Lord, 227; + Swift's Vindication of, 229-249. + + Coinage, McCulla's proposal about, 179-190; + Swift's counter-proposal, 183. + + Coining, forbidden in Ireland, 88, 134. + + Compton, Sir Spencer, 387. + + Corn, imported into Ireland from England, 17. + + "Cossing," explained, 271. + + Cotter, ballad upon, 23. + + "Craftsman," the, 219, 375, 397, 399. + + + Davenport, Colonel, 280. + + Delany, Dr. Patrick, 244. + + Dublin, thieves and roughs in, 56; + Examination of certain Abuses, etc, in, 263-282; + Advice to the Freemen of, in the Choice of + a Member of Parliament, 311-316; + Considerations in the Choice of a Recorder of, 319, 320. + + Dunkin, Rev. William, Swift's efforts in behalf of, 364, 368. + + Dutton-Colt, Sir Harry, 280. + + + Elliston, Ebenezer, Last Speech of, 56 _et seq._ + + Esquire, the title of, 49. + + + Footmen, Petition of the, 307. + + French, Humphry, Lord Mayor of Dublin, 310, 311. + + French army, recruited in Ireland, 218, 220. + + Frogs, propagation of, in Ireland, 340. + + + Galway, Earl of, 235. + + Grafton, Duke of, 194. + + Grimston, Lord, his "Lawyer's Fortune, or Love in a Hollow Tree," 24. + + Gwythers, Dr., introduces frogs into Ireland, 340. + + + Hanmer, Sir Thomas, 387. + + Hospital for Incurables, Scheme for a, 283-303. + + Hutcheson, Hartley, 234. + + + Injured Lady, Story of the, 97-103; + Answer to the, 107-109. + + Ireland, the Test Act in, 2, 5 _et seq._; + exportation of wool from, forbidden, 17, 18, 110, 111, 157, 158; + absentee landlords, 25, 69, 71, 101, 162; + Sheridan's account of the state of, 26-30; + proposal for establishing a National Bank in, 31, 38, 42, 43; + maxims controlled in, 65; + poverty of, 25, 66, 87, 89, 90, 122; + increase of rents in, 67, 163; + begging and thieving in, 70; + Short view of the State of, 83-91; + importation of cattle into England prohibited, 86, 100, 110, 221; + encouragement of the linen manufactures in, 102, 158; + luxury and extravagance among the women in, 124, 139, 198, 199, 219; + condition of the roads in, 130; + bad management of the bogs in, 131; + dishonesty of tradesmen in, 142, 147; + the National Debt of, 196; + famine in, 203; + population of, 208; + persecution of Roman Catholics in, 263. + + Irish brogue, the, 346. + + Irish eloquence, 361. + + Irish language, proposal to abolish the, 133. + + Irish peers, titles of, 349. + + + Japan, Account of the Court and Empire of, 382-391. + + + King, Archbishop, 21, 119, 136, 244, 326. + + + Lindsay, Robert, 259. + + Linen trade in Ireland, the, 88, 102, 158. + + Littleton, Sir Thomas, 7. + + Lorrain, Paul, ordinary of Newgate, 34. + + + Macarrell, John, 310, 311. + + McCulla's Project about halfpence, 179-190. + + Manufactures, Irish, Proposal for the Universal use of, 17-30; + Proposal that all Ladies should appear constantly in, 193-199. + _See also_ "Woollen Manufactures." + + Mar, Earl of, 164. + + Maxwell, Henry, his pamphlets in favour of a bank in Ireland, 38. + + Mist, Nathaniel, 194. + + + National Debt, Proposal to pay off the, 251-258. + + Navigation Act, the effect of, in Ireland, 66, 86. + + Norton, Richard, 301. + + + "Orange, the squeezing of the," 275. + + + Penn, William, 120. + + Perron, Cardinal, anecdote of, 238. + + Peterborough, Lord, letter of Swift to, April 28, 1726, 154-156. + + Phipps, Sir Constantine, 244. + + "Pistorides" (Richard Tighe), 233, 235. + + Poor, Considerations about maintaining the, 339-342. + + Poyning's Law, 103, 105. + + Psalmanazar, George, his Description of the Island of Formosa, 211. + + Pulteney, William, the "Craftsman" founded by, 219, 375; + "Answer of, to Robert Walpole," 392-400. + + + Quilca, life at, 74, 75-77. + + + Rents, raising of, in Ireland, 163. + + Roads, in Ireland, condition of the, 130. + + Roman Catholics, legislation against, 5; + petty persecution of, in Ireland, 263. + + Rowley, Hercules, his pamphlets against + the establishment of a bank in Ireland, 38. + + + Savoy, Duke of, 277. + + Scotland, description of, 97, 98. + + Scots in Sweden, 9. + + Scottish colonists in Ulster, 104. + + Sheridan, Dr. Thomas, 74; + his account of the state of Ireland, 26-30; + given a chaplaincy by Carteret, 232, 241; + anecdote of Carteret, related by, 232; + informed against by Tighe, 233, 242. + + Stanley, Sir John, Commissioner of Customs, 197. + + Stannard, Eaton, elected Recorder of Dublin, 319, 366. + + Stopford, Dr. James, Bishop of Cloyne, 243. + + Street cries explained, 268-270, 275-281. + + Swan, Mr., 280. + + Swandlingbar, origin of the name of, 347. + + Swearer's Bank, the, 41. + + Swift, Godwin, 347. + + Swift, Jonathan, the freedom of the City of Dublin conferred on, 168; + his speech on the occasion, 169-172; + confesses the authorship of the "Drapier's Letters," 171; + born in Dublin, 267; + his opposition to Archbishop Boulter, 353, 354; + his speech on the lowering of the coin, 357; + his efforts in behalf of Mr. Dunkin, 364-368; + receives the freedom of the City of Cork, 367; + appoints Dr. Wynne Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, 370. + + + Temple, Sir William, his comparison of Holland and Ireland, 164. + + Test Act, in Ireland, 2, 5 _et seq._ + + Thompson, Edward, Commissioner of the Revenue in Ireland, 315. + + Tickell, T., 242. + + Tighe, Richard, informs against Sheridan, 74, 233, 242; + attacks Carteret, 228; + ridiculed as "Pistorides," 233, 235. + + "Traulus" (Lord Allen), 176, 236. + + Trees, planting of, in Ireland, 132. + + + Violante, Madam, 234. + + + Wallis, Dr., 280. + + Walpole, Sir Robert, interview of Swift with, in 1726, 153; + his views on Ireland, 154; + satire on, 276; + his literary assistants, 379, 393 _et seq._; + character of, 384 _et seq._ + + Waters, Edward, Swift's printer, 171, 193. + + Whitshed, Lord Chief Justice, 14, 86, 115, 129, 171, 193, 194. + + Wine, proposed tax on, 196, 197. + + Wool, Irish, exportation of, + forbidden by law, 17, 18, 110, 111, 157, 158; + effect of the prohibition on England, 160. + + Woollen manufactures, Irish people should use their own, 137 _et seq._; + Observations on the case of the, 147-150. + + Wynne, Rev. Dr. John, Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, 370. + + + + +~FOOTNOTES:~ + +[1] "Unpublished Letters of Swift," edited by Dr. Birkbeck Hill, 1899. + +[2] Mr. Murray's MSS., quoted by Craik. + +[3] It appeared almost impossible for Swift to see the injustice of this +test clause. In reality, it had been the outcome of the legislation +against the Irish Roman Catholics. In 1703 the Irish parliament had +passed a bill by which it was enacted, "that all estates should be +equally divided among the children of Roman Catholics, notwithstanding +any settlements to the contrary, unless the persons to whom they were to +descend, would qualify, by taking the oaths prescribed by government, +and conform to the established church" (Crawford's "History of Ireland," +1783, vol. ii., p. 256). The bill was transmitted to England, for +approval there, at a time when Anne was asking the Emperor for his +indulgence towards the Protestants of his realms. This placed the Queen +in an awkward position, since she could hardly expect indulgence from a +Roman Catholic monarch towards Protestants when she, a Protestant +monarch, was persecuting Roman Catholics. To obviate this dilemma, the +Queen's ministers added a clause to the bill, "by which all persons in +Ireland were rendered incapable of any employment under the crown, or, +of being magistrates in any city, who, agreeably to the English test +act, did not receive the sacrament as prescribed by the Church of +England" (_ibid._). Under this clause, of course, came all the +Protestant Dissenters, including the Presbyterians "from the north." The +bill so amended passed into law; but its iniquitous influence was a +disgrace to the legislators of the day, and his advocacy of it, however +much he was convinced of its expediency, proves Swift a short-sighted +statesman wherever the enemies of the Church of England were concerned. +[T. S.] + +[4] Colonel John Birch (1616-1691) was of Lancashire. Swift calls him +"of Herefordshire," because he had been appointed governor of the city +of Hereford, after he had captured it by a stratagem, in 1654. Devotedly +attached to Presbyterian principles, Birch was a man of shrewd business +abilities and remarkable oratorical gifts. On the restoration of Charles +II., in which he took a prominent part on account of Charles's +championship of Presbyterianism, Birch held important business posts. He +sat in parliament for Leominster and Penrhyn, and his plans for the +rebuilding of London after the Great Fire, though they were not adopted, +were yet such as would have been extremely salutary had they been +accepted. Of his eloquence, Burnet says: "He was the roughest and +boldest speaker in the house, and talked in the language and phrases of +a carrier, but with a beauty and eloquence, that was always acceptable." +The reference to the carrier is purposely made, since Birch did not hide +the fact that he had once pursued that occupation. Swift was twenty-four +years of age when Birch died, so that he must have been a very young man +when he heard Birch make the remark he quotes. [T. S.] + +[5] Sir Thomas Littleton (1647?-1710) was chosen Speaker of the English +House of Commons by the junto in 1698. Onslow, in a note to Burnet's +"History," speaks of the good work he did as treasurer of the navy. +Macky describes him as "a stern-looked man, with a brown complexion, +well shaped" (see "Characters"). At the time of Swift's writing the +above letter, Littleton was member for Portsmouth. [T. S.] + +[6] Viscount Molesworth, in his "Considerations for promoting the +Agriculture of Ireland" (1723), pointed out, that even with the added +expense of freight, it was cheaper to import corn from England, than to +grow it in Ireland itself. [T. S.] + +[7] Mr. Lecky points out that in England, after the Revolution, the +councils were directed by commercial influence. At that time there was +an important woollen industry in England which, it was feared, the +growing Irish woollen manufactures would injure. The English +manufacturers petitioned for their total destruction, and the House of +Lords, in response to the petition, represented to the King that "the +growing manufacture of cloth in Ireland, both by the cheapness of all +sorts of necessaries of life, and goodness of materials for making all +manner of cloth, doth invite your subjects of England, with their +families and servants, to leave their habitations to settle there, to +the increase of the woollen manufacture in Ireland, which makes your +loyal subjects in this kingdom very apprehensive that the further growth +of it may greatly prejudice the said manufacture here." The Commons went +further, and suggested the advisability of discouraging the industry by +hindering the exportation of wool from Ireland to other countries and +limiting it to England alone. The Act of 10 and 11 Will. III. c. 10, +made the suggestion law and even prohibited entirely the exportation of +Irish wool anywhere. Thus, as Swift puts it, "the politic gentlemen of +Ireland have depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding +of sheep." See notes to later tracts in this volume on "Observations on +the Woollen Manufactures" and "Letter on the Weavers." [T. S.] + +[8] That Swift did not exaggerate may be gathered from the statute +books, and, more immediately, from Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland" (1779), Arthur Dobbs's "Trade and Improvement of +Ireland," Lecky's "History of Ireland," vols. i. and ii., and Monck +Mason's notes in his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 320 _et +seq._ [T. S.] + +[9] Barnstaple was, at that time, the chief market in England for Irish +wool. [T. S.] + +[10] In 1726, Swift presented some pieces of Irish manufactured silk to +the Princess of Wales and to Mrs. Howard. In sending the silk to Mrs. +Howard he wrote also a letter in which he remarked: "I beg you will not +tell any parliament man from whence you had that plaid; otherwise, out +of malice, they will make a law to cut off all our weavers' fingers." +[T. S.] + +[11] This last sentence is as the original edition has it. In Faulkner's +first collected edition and in the fifth volume of the "Miscellanies" +(London, 1735), the following occurs in its place: "I must confess, that +as to the former, I should not be sorry if they would stay at home; and +for the latter, I hope, in a little time we shall have no occasion for +them." + +Swift knew what he was advising when he suggested that the people of +Ireland should not import their goods from England. He was well aware +that English manufactures were not really necessary. Sir William Petty +had, a half century before, pointed out that a third of the manufactures +then imported into Ireland could be produced by its own factories, +another third could as easily and as cheaply be obtained from countries +other than England, and "consequently, that it was scarce necessary at +all for Ireland to receive any goods of England, and not convenient to +receive above one-fourth part, from thence, of the whole which it +needeth to import" ("Polit. Anatomy of Ireland," 1672). [T. S.] + +[12] Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" (London, 1735) print, instead of, +"as any prelate in Christendom," the words, "as if he had not been born +among us." The Archbishop was Dr. William King, with whom Swift had had +much correspondence. See "Letters" in Scott's edition (1824). + +Dr. William King, who succeeded Narcissus Marsh as Archbishop of Dublin +in March, 1702-3. Swift had not always been on friendly terms with King, +but, at this time, they were in sympathy as to the wrongs and grievances +of Ireland. King strongly supported the agitation against Wood's +halfpence, but later, when he attempted to interfere with the affairs of +the Deanery of St. Patrick's, Swift and he came to an open rupture. See +also volume on the Drapier's Letters, in this edition. [T. S.] + +[13] Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" of 1735 print this amount as "three +thousand six hundred." This was the sum paid by the lord-lieutenant to +the lords-justices, who represented him in the government of Ireland. +The lord-lieutenant himself did not then, as the viceroy of Ireland does +now, take up his residence in the country. Although in receipt of a +large salary, he only came to Dublin to deliver the speeches at the +openings of parliament, or on some other special occasion. [T. S.] + +[14] The Dublin edition of this pamphlet has a note stating that Cotter +was a gentleman of Cork who was executed for committing a rape on a +Quaker. [T. S.] + +[15] Said to be Colonel Bladon (1680-1746), who translated the +Commentaries of Cĉsar. He was a dependant of the Duke of Marlborough, to +whom he dedicated this translation. [T. S.] + +[16] Lord Grimston. William Luckyn, first Viscount Grimston (1683-1756), +was created an Irish peer with the title Baron Dunboyne in 1719. The +full title of the play to which Swift refers, is "The Lawyer's Fortune, +or, Love in a Hollow Tree." It was published in 1705. Swift refers to +Grimston in his verses "On Poetry, a Rhapsody." Pope, in one of his +satires, calls him "booby lord." Grimston withdrew his play from +circulation after the second edition, but it was reprinted in Rotterdam +in 1728 and in London in 1736. Dr. Johnson told Chesterfield a story +which made the Duchess of Marlborough responsible for this London +reprint, which had for frontispiece the picture of an ass wearing a +coronet. [T. S.] + +[17] The original edition prints "ministers" instead of "chief +governors." [T. S.] + +[18] In 1720 Bishop Nicholson of Derry, writing to the Archbishop of +Canterbury, describes the wretched condition of the towns and the +country districts, and the misery of their population: + +"Our trade of all kind is at a stand, insomuch as that our most eminent +merchants, who used to pay bills of _1,000l._ at sight, are hardly able +to raise _100l._ in so many days. Spindles of yarn (our daily bread) are +fallen from _2s. 6d._ to _15d._, and everything also in proportion. +Our best beef (as good as I ever ate in England) is sold under _3/4d._ a +pound, and all this not from any extraordinary plenty of commodities, +but from a perfect dearth of money. Never did I behold even in Picardy, +Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want as +appeared in the countenances of most of the poor creatures I met with on +the road." (Brit. Mus. Add. MSS. 6116, quoted by Lecky.) [T. S.] + +[19] The "absentee" landlord was an evil to Ireland on which much has +been written. It was difficult to keep the country in order when the +landed proprietors took so little interest in their possessions as to do +nothing but exact rents from their tenants and spend the money so +obtained in England. Two, and even three, hundred years before Swift's +day "absenteeism" had been the cause of much of the rebellion in Ireland +which harassed the English monarchs, who endeavoured to put a stop to +the evil by confiscating the estates of such landlords. Acts were passed +by Richard II. and Henry VIII. to this effect; but in later times, the +statutes were ignored and not enforced, and the Irish landlord, in +endeavours to obtain for himself social recognition and standing in +England which, because of his Irish origin, were denied him, remained in +England indulging himself in lavish expenditure and display. The +consequences of this were the impoverishment of his estates and their +eventual management by rack-renters. These rack-renters, whose only +interest lay in squeezing money out of the impoverished tenants, became +the bane of the agricultural holder. + +Unfortunately, the spirit of "absenteeism" extended itself to the +holders of offices in Ireland, and even the lord-lieutenant rarely took +up his residence in Dublin for any time longer than necessitated by the +immediate demands of his installation and speech-making, although he +drew his emoluments from the Irish revenues. In the "List of Absentees" +instances are given where men appointed to Irish offices would land on +Saturday night, receive the sacrament on Sunday, take the oath in court +on Monday morning, and be on their way back to England by Monday +afternoon. + +It has been calculated that out of a total rental of £1,800,000, as much +as 33-1/3 per cent. was sent out of the country. [T. S.] + +[20] Sheridan, in the sixth number of "The Intelligencer," contributes +an account of the state of Ireland, written to the text, "O patria! O +divûm domus!" + +"When I travel through any part of this unhappy kingdom, and I have now +by several excursions made from Dublin, gone through most counties of +it, it raises two passions in my breast of a different kind; an +indignation against those vile betrayers and insulters of it, who +insinuate themselves into favour, by saying, it is a rich nation; and a +sincere passion for the natives, who are sunk to the lowest degree of +misery and poverty, whose houses are dunghills, whose victuals are the +blood of their cattle, or the herbs in the field; and whose clothing, to +the dishonour of God and man, is nakedness. Yet notwithstanding all the +dismal appearances, it is the common phrase of our upstart race of +people, who have suddenly sprang up like the dragon's teeth among us, +_That Ireland was never known to be so rich as it is now_; by which, as +I apprehend, they can only mean themselves, for they have skipped over +the channel from the vantage ground of a dunghill upon no other merit, +either visible or divineable, than that of not having been born among +us. + +"This is the modern way of planting Colonies--Et ubi solitudinem +faciunt, id Imperium vocant. When those who are so unfortunate to be +born here, are excluded from the meanest preferments, and deemed +incapable of being entertained even as common soldiers, whose poor +stipend is but four pence a day. No trade, no emoluments, no +encouragement for learning among the natives, who yet by a perverse +consequence are divided into factions, with as much violence and +rancour, as if they had the wealth of the Indies to contend for. It puts +me in mind of a fable which I read in a monkish author. He quotes for it +one of the Greek mythologists that once upon a time a colony of large +dogs (called the Molossi) transplanted themselves from Epirus to Ĉtolia, +where they seized those parts of the countries, most fertile in flesh of +all kinds, obliging the native dogs to retire from their best kennels, +to live under ditches and bushes, but to preserve good neighbourhood and +peace; and finding likewise, that the Ĉtolian dogs might be of some use +in the low offices of life, they passed a decree, that the natives +should be entitled to the short ribs, tops of back, knuckle-bones, and +guts of all the game, which they were obliged by their masters to run +down. This condition was accepted, and what was a little singular, while +the Molossian dogs kept a good understanding among themselves, living in +peace and luxury, these Ĉtolian curs were perpetually snarling, +growling, barking and tearing at each other's throats: Nay, sometimes +those of the best quality among them, were seen to quarrel with as much +rancour for a rotten gut, as if it had been a fat haunch of venison. But +what need we wonder at this in dogs, when the same is every day +practised among men? + +"Last year I travelled from Dublin to Dundalk, through a country +esteemed the most fruitful part of the kingdom, and so nature intended +it. But no ornaments or improvements of such a scene were visible. No +habitation fit for gentlemen, no farmers' houses, few fields of corn, +and almost a bare face of nature, without new plantations of any kind, +only a few miserable cottages, at three or four miles' distance, and one +Church in the centre between this city and Drogheda. When I arrived at +this last town, the first mortifying sight was the ruins of several +churches, battered down by that usurper, Cromwell, whose fanatic zeal +made more desolation in a few days, than the piety of succeeding +prelates or the wealth of the town have, in more than sixty years, +attempted to repair. + +"Perhaps the inhabitants, through a high strain of virtue, have, in +imitation of the Athenians, made a solemn resolution, never to rebuild +those sacred edifices, but rather leave them in ruins, as monuments, to +perpetuate the detestable memory of that hellish instrument of +rebellion, desolation, and murder. For the Athenians, when Mardonius had +ravaged a great part of Greece, took a formal oath at the Isthmus, to +lose their lives rather than their liberty, to stand by their leaders to +the last, to spare the cities of such barbarians as they conquered. And +what crowned all, the conclusion of their oath was, We will never repair +any of the Temples, which they have burned and destroyed, lest they may +appear to posterity as so many monuments of these wicked barbarians. +This was a glorious resolution; and I am sorry to think, that the +poverty of my countrymen will not let the world suppose, they have acted +upon such a generous principle; yet upon this occasion I cannot but +observe, that there is a fatality in some nations, to be fond of those +who have treated them with the least humanity. Thus I have often heard +the memory of Cromwell, who has depopulated, and almost wholly destroyed +this miserable country, celebrated like that of a saint, and at the same +time the sufferings of the royal martyr turned into ridicule, and his +murder justified even from the pulpit, and all this done with an intent +to gain favour, under a monarchy; which is a new strain of politics that +I shall not pretend to account for. + +"Examine all the eastern towns of Ireland, and you will trace this +horrid instrument of destruction, in defacing of Churches, and +particularly in destroying whatever was ornamental, either within or +without them. We see in the several towns a very few houses scattered +among the ruins of thousands, which he laid level with their streets; +great numbers of castles, the country seats of gentlemen then in being, +still standing in ruin, habitations for bats, daws, and owls, without +the least repairs or succession of other buildings. Nor have the country +churches, as far as my eye could reach, met with any better treatment +from him, nine in ten of them lying among their graves and God only +knows when they are to have a resurrection. When I passed from Dundalk +where this cursed usurper's handy work is yet visible, I cast mine eyes +around from the top of a mountain, from whence I had a wide and a waste +prospect of several venerable ruins. It struck me with a melancholy, not +unlike that expressed by Cicero in one of his letters which being much +upon the like prospect, and concluding with a very necessary reflection +on the uncertainty of things in this world, I shall here insert a +translation of what he says: 'In my return from Asia, as I sailed from +Ĉgina, towards Megara, I began to take a prospect of the several +countries round me. Behind me was Ĉgina; before me Megara; on the right +hand the Pirĉus; and on the left was Corinth; which towns were formerly +in a most flourishing condition; now they lie prostrate and in ruin. + +"'Thus I began to think with myself: Shall we who have but a trifling +existence, express any resentment, when one of us either dies a natural +death, or is slain, whose lives are necessarily of a short duration, +when at one view I beheld the carcases of so many great cities?' What if +he had seen the natives of those free republics, reduced to all the +miserable consequences of a conquered people, living without the common +defences against hunger and cold, rather appearing like spectres than +men? I am apt to think, that seeing his fellow creatures in ruin like +this, it would have put him past all patience for philosophic +reflection. + +"As for my own part, I confess, that the sights and occurrences which I +had in this my last journey, so far transported me to a mixture of rage +and compassion, that I am not able to decide, which had the greater +influence upon my spirits; for this new cant, of a rich and flourishing +nation, was still uppermost in my thoughts; every mile I travelled, +giving me such ample demonstrations to the contrary. For this reason, I +have been at the pains to render a most exact and faithful account of +all the visible signs of riches, which I met with in sixty miles' riding +through the most public roads, and the best part of the kingdom. First, +as to trade, I met nine cars loaden with old musty, shrivelled hides; +one car-load of butter; four jockeys driving eight horses, all out of +case; one cow and calf driven by a man and his wife; six tattered +families flitting to be shipped off to the West Indies; a colony of a +hundred and fifty beggars, all repairing to people our metropolis, and +by encreasing the number of hands, to encrease its wealth, upon the old +maxim, that people are the riches of a nation, and therefore ten +thousand mouths, with hardly ten pair of hands, or hardly any work to +employ them, will infallibly make us a rich and flourishing people. +Secondly, Travellers enough, but seven in ten wanting shirts and +cravats; nine in ten going bare foot, and carrying their brogues and +stockings in their hands; one woman in twenty having a pillion, the rest +riding bare backed: Above two hundred horsemen, with four pair of boots +amongst them all; seventeen saddles of leather (the rest being made of +straw) and most of their garrons only shod before. I went into one of +the principal farmer's houses, out of curiosity, and his whole furniture +consisted of two blocks for stools, a bench on each side the fire-place +made of turf, six trenchers, one bowl, a pot, six horn spoons, three +noggins, three blankets, one of which served the man and maid servant; +the other the master of the family, his wife and five children; a small +churn, a wooden candlestick, a broken stick for a pair of tongs. In the +public towns, one third of the inhabitants walking the streets bare +foot; windows half built up with stone, to save the expense of glass, +the broken panes up and down supplied by brown paper, few being able to +afford white; in some places they were stopped with straw or hay. +Another mark of our riches, are the signs at the several inns upon the +road, viz. In some, a staff stuck in the thatch, with a turf at the end +of it; a staff in a dunghill with a white rag wrapped about the head; a +pole, where they can afford it, with a besom at the top; an oatmeal cake +on a board at the window; and, at the principal inns of the road, I have +observed the signs taken down and laid against the wall near the door, +being taken from their post to prevent the shaking of the house down by +the wind. In short, I saw not one single house, in the best town I +travelled through, which had not manifest appearances of beggary and +want. I could give many more instances of our wealth, but I hope these +will suffice for the end I propose. + +"It may be objected, what use it is of to display the poverty of the +nation, in the manner I have done. I answer, I desire to know for what +ends, and by what persons, this new opinion of our flourishing state has +of late been so industriously advanced: One thing is certain, that the +advancers have either already found their own account, or have been +heartily promised, or at least have been entertained with hopes, by +seeing such an opinion pleasing to those who have it in their power to +reward. + +"It is no doubt a very generous principle in any person to rejoice in +the felicities of a nation, where themselves are strangers or +sojourners: But if it be found that the same persons on all other +occasions express a hatred and contempt of the nation and people in +general, and hold it for a maxim--'That the more such a country is +humbled, the more their own will rise'; it need be no longer a secret, +why such an opinion, and the advantages of it are encouraged. And +besides, if the bayliff reports to his master, that the ox is fat and +strong, when in reality it can hardly carry its own legs, is it not +natural to think, that command will be given, for a greater load to be +put upon it?" [T. S.] + +[21] This was a project for the establishment of a national bank for +Ireland. Swift ridiculed the proposal (see p. 31), no doubt, out of +suspicion of the acts of stock-jobbers and the monied interests which +were enlisted on the side of the Whigs. His experience, also, of the +abortive South Sea Schemes would tend to make his opposition all the +stronger. But the plans for the bank were not ill-conceived, and had +Swift been in calmer temper he might have seen the advantages which +attached to the proposals. [T. S.] + +[22] Thus in original edition. In Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" of +1735 the words are, "altogether imaginary." [T. S.] + +[23] The motto round a crown piece, which was the usual price of +permits. [_Orig. edit._] + +[24] The Dean of St. Patrick's. [F.] + +[25] Paul Lorrain, who was appointed ordinary of Newgate in 1698, +compiled numerous confessions and dying speeches of prisoners condemned +to be hanged. A letter to Swift, from Pope and Bolingbroke, dated +December, 1725, mentions him as "the great historiographer," and Steele, +in the "Tatler" and "Spectator," refers to "Lorrain's Saints." Lorrain +attended some famous criminals to the scaffold, including Captain Kidd +and Jack Sheppard. [T. S.] + +[26] The following is an account of the proceedings of both the houses +of the Irish parliament upon the subject of this proposed bank. + +In the year 1720, James, Earl of Abercorn, Gustavus, Viscount Boyne, Sir +Ralph Gore, Bart., Oliver St. George, and Michael Ward, Esqs., in behalf +of themselves and others, presented a petition to his Majesty for a +charter of incorporation, whereby they might be established as a bank, +under the name and title of the Bank of Ireland. They proposed to raise +a fund of £500,000 to supply merchants, etc., with money at five per +cent., and agreed to contribute £50,000 to the service of government in +consideration of their obtaining a charter. In their petition they +state, that "the raising of a million for that purpose is creating a +greater fund than the nation can employ." Soon after the above-mentioned +petition was lodged, a second application was made by Lord Forbes and +others, who proposed raising a million for that purpose, and offered to +discharge "the £50,000 national debt of that kingdom, in five years from +the time they should obtain a charter." The latter application, being +subsequent in point of date, was withdrawn, Lord Forbes and his friends +having acquainted the Lord-lieutenant that, "rather than, by a +competition, obstruct a proposal of so general advantage, they were +willing to desist from their application." The former was accordingly +approved of, and the King, on the 29th of July, 1721, issued letters of +Privy Seal, directing that a charter of incorporation should pass the +Great Seal of Ireland. ("Comm. Journ.," vol. iii, Appendix ix, page cc, +etc.) + +When the parliament of Ireland met, on the 12th of September following, +the Duke of Grafton, lord lieutenant, in his speech from the throne, +communicated the intention of his Majesty to both houses, and concluded +by saying, "As this is a matter of general and national concern, his +Majesty leaves it to the wisdom of Parliament to consider what +advantages the public may receive by erecting a bank, and in what manner +it may be settled upon a safe foundation, so as to be beneficial to the +kingdom." The commons, in their address, which was voted unanimously on +the 14th, expressed their gratitude for his Majesty's goodness and royal +favour in directing a commission to establish a bank, and on the 21st +moved for the papers to be laid before them; they even, on the 29th, +agreed to the following resolution of the committee they had appointed, +"that the establishment of a bank upon a solid and good foundation, +under proper regulations and restrictions, will contribute to restoring +of credit, and support of the trade and manufacture of the kingdom;" +but, when the heads of a bill for establishing the bank came to be +discussed, a strenuous opposition was raised to it. On the 9th of +December Sir Thomas Taylor, chairman of the committee to whom the matter +had been referred, reported "that they had gone through the first +enacting paragraph, and disagreed to the same." Accordingly, the +question being proposed and put, the house (after a division, wherein +there appeared 150 for the question and 80 against it) voted that "they +could not find any safe foundation for establishing a public bank," and +resolved that an address, conformable to this resolution, should be +presented to the lord-lieutenant. (Comm. Journ., vol. iii, pp. +247-289.) + +The proceedings of the House of Lords resembled that of the Commons; on +the 8th of November they concurred with the resolution of their +committee, which was unfavourable to the establishment of a bank. A +protest was, however, entered, signed by four temporal and two spiritual +peers, and when an address to his Majesty, grounded on that resolution, +was proposed, a long debate ensued, which occupied two days. On the 9th +December a list of the subscriptions was called for, and on the 16th +they resolved, that if any lord, spiritual or temporal, should attempt +to obtain a charter to erect a bank, "he should be deemed a contemnor of +the authority of that house, and a betrayer of the liberty of his +country." They ordered, likewise, that this resolution should be +presented by the chancellor to the lord lieutenant. ("Lord's Journal," +vol. ii, pp. 687-720.) _Monck Mason's "Hist. St. Patrick's Cathedral_," +p. 325, note 3. [T. S.] + +[27] The title, Esquire, according to a high authority, was anciently +applied "to the younger sons of nobility and their heirs in the +immediate line, to the eldest sons of knights and their heirs, to the +esquire of the knights and others of that rank in his Majesty's service, +and to such as had eminent employment in the Commonwealth, and were not +knighted, such as judges, sheriffs, and justices of the peace during +their offices, and some others. But now," says Sir Edward Walker, "in +the days of Charles I., the addition is so increased, that he is a very +poor and inconsiderable person who writes himself less." + +Accordingly, most of the signatures for shares in the projected National +Bank of Ireland, were dignified with the addition of Esquire, which, +added to the obscurity of the subscribers, incurs the ridicule of our +author in the following treatise. [S.] + +[28] SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK, PLACED ACCORDING TO THEIR ORDER AND +QUALITY, WITH NOTES AND QUERIES. + +A true and exact account of the nobility, gentry, and traders, of the +kingdom of Ireland, who, upon mature deliberation, are of opinion, that +the establishing a bank upon real security, would be highly for the +advantage of the trade of the said kingdom, and for increasing the +current species of money in the same. Extracted from the list of the +subscribers to the Bank of Ireland, published by order of the +commissioners appointed to receive subscriptions. + + _Nobility._ + + Archbishops 0 + Marquisses 0 + Earls 0 + Viscounts 3 + Barons 1 + Bishops 2 + French Baron 1 + +N. B.: The temporal Lords of Ireland are 125, the Bishops 22. In all 147, +exclusive of the aforesaid French Count. + + _Gentry._ + + Baronets 1 + Knights 1 + +N. B. Total of baronets and knights in Ireland uncertain; but in common +computation supposed to be more than two. + +Members of the House of Commons--41. One whereof reckoned before amongst +the two knights. + +N. B. Number of Commoners in all 300. + +Esquires not Members of Parliament--37 + +N. B. There are at least 20 of the said 37 Esquires whose names are +little known, and whose qualifications as Esqrs. are referred to the king +at arms; and the said king is desired to send to the publisher hereof a +true account of the whole number of such real or reputed Esqrs. as are to +be found in this kingdom. + + _Clergy._ + + Deans 1 + Arch-Deacons 2 + Rectors 3 + Curates 2 + +N. B. Of this number one French dean, one French curate, and one +bookseller. + +Officers not members of Parliament--16 + +N. B. Of the above number 10 French; but uncertain whether on whole or +half pay, broken, or of the militia. + + _Women._ + + Ladies 1 + Widows 3 whereof one qualified to be deputy-governor. + Maidens 4 + +N. B. It being uncertain in what class to place the eight female +subscribers, whether in that of nobility, gentry, &c. it is thought +proper to insert them here betwixt the officers and traders. + + _Traders._ + + { Dublin 1 a Frenchman. + Aldermen of { Cork 1 + { Limerick 1 + Waterford 0 + Drogheda 0 + &c. 0 + +Merchants 29, _viz._ 10 French, of London 1, of Cork 1, of Belfast 1. + +N. B. The place of abode of three of the said merchants, _viz._ of +London, Cork and Belfast, being mentioned, the publisher desires to know +where the rest may be wrote to, and whether they deal in wholesale or +retail, _viz._ + +Master dealers, &c. 59, cashiers 1, bankers 4, chemist 1, player 1, +Popish vintner 1, bricklayer 1, chandler 1, doctors of physic 4, +chirurgeons 2, pewterer 1, attorneys 4 (besides one esq. attorney before +reckoned), Frenchmen 8, but whether pensioners, barbers, or markees, +uncertain. As to the rest of the M----rs, the publisher of this paper, +though he has used his utmost diligence, has not been able to get a +satisfactory account either as to their country, trade or profession. + +N. B. The total of men, women and children in Ireland, besides Frenchmen, +is 2,000,000. Total of the land of Ireland acres 16,800,000. (Vide +Reasons for a Bank, &c.) + +Quĉre, How many of the said acres are in possession of 1 French baron, 1 +French dean, 1 French curate, 1 French alderman, 10 French merchants, 8 +Messieurs Frances, 1 esq. projector, 1 esq. attorney, 6 officers of the +army, 8 women, 1 London merchant, 1 Cork merchant, 1 Belfast merchant, +18 merchants whose places of abode are not mentioned, 1 cashier, 4 +bankers, 1 gentleman projector, 1 player, 1 chemist, 1 Popish vintner, 1 +bricklayer, 1 chandler, 4 doctors of physic, 2 chirurgeons, 1 pewterer, +4 gentlemen attorneys, besides 28 gentleman dealers, yet unknown, _ut +supra_? + +Dublin: Printed by John Harding in Molesworth's Court, in Fishamble +Street. (_Reprinted from original broadside, n.d._) + +[29] In the capacity of a postillion, no doubt. [T. S.] + +[30] Which means that she kept an eating-house or restaurant, and became +eventually a bankrupt. [T. S.] + +[31] The livery of a footman. [T. S.] + +[32] As a constable. [T. S.] + +[33] An innkeeper. [T. S.] + +[34] This paragraph is printed as given by Faulkner in ed. 1735, vol. +iv. [T. S.] + +[35] See note on Paul Lorrain, p. 34. It was the duty of the Ordinary of +a prison to compose such dying speeches. [T. S.] + +[36] His parents were Dissenters, and gave him a good education. [T. S.] + +[37] Sir Henry Craik remarks on this title: "In modern language this +might well have been entitled, 'The theories of political economy proved +to have no application to Ireland.'" The word "controlled" is used in +the now obsolete sense of "confuted." [T. S.] + +[38] Sir John Browne, in his "Scheme of the Money Matters of Ireland" +(Dublin, 1729), calculated that the total currency, including paper, was +about £914,000, but the author of "Considerations on Seasonable Remarks" +stated that the entire currency could not be more than £600,000. Browne +was no reliable authority; he is the writer to whom Swift wrote a reply. +See p. 122. [T. S.] + +[39] See "A Short View of the State of Ireland," p. 86. [T. S.] + +[40] Lecky refers to a remarkable letter written by an Irish peer in the +March of 1702, and preserved in the "Southwell Correspondence" in the +British Museum, in which the writer complains that the money of the +country is almost gone, and the poverty of the towns so great that it +was feared the Court mourning for the death of William would be the +final blow. (Lecky, vol. i., p. 181, 1892 ed.). [T. S.] + +[41] Those of Charles II. and James II. in which, for political reasons +on the part of the Crown, Ireland was peculiarly favoured. [S.] + +[42] This was Dr. Nicholas Barbou, the friend of John Asgill and author +of two works on trade and money. After the Great Fire of London he +speculated largely in building, and greatly assisted in making city +improvements. He was the founder of fire insurance in England and was +active in land and bank speculations. He died in 1698, leaving a will +directing that none of his debts should be paid. [T. S.] + +[43] The beggars of Ireland are spoken of by Bishop Berkeley. But Arthur +Dobbs, in the second part of his "Essay on Trade," published in 1731, +gives a descriptive picture of the gangs who travelled over Ireland as +professional paupers. In the 2,295 parishes, there was in each an +average of at least ten beggars carrying on their trade the whole year +round; the total number of these wandering paupers he puts down at over +34,000. Computing 30,000 of them able to work, and assuming that each +beggar could earn _4d._ a day in a working year of 284 days, he +calculates that their idleness is a loss to the nation of £142,000. (Pp. +444-445 of Thom's reprint; Dublin, 1861) [T. S.] + +[44] See Swift's terrible satire on the "Modest Proposal for preventing +Children of Poor People from being a burthen." [T. S.] + +[45] A small country village about seven miles from Kells. [T. S.] + +[46] Esther Johnson. [T. S.] + +[47] Stella's companion and Swift's housekeeper. [T. S.] + +[48] See Swift's "Directions to Servants." [T. S.] + +[49] By Acts 18 Charles II c. 2, and 32 Charles II c. 2, enacted in 1665 +and 1680, the importation into England from Ireland of all cattle, +sheep, swine, beef, pork, bacon, mutton, cheese and butter, was +absolutely prohibited. The land of Ireland being largely pasture land +and England being the chief and nearest market, these laws practically +destroyed the farming industry. The pernicious acts were passed on +complaint from English land proprietors that the competition from Irish +cattle had lowered their rents in England. "In this manner," says Lecky, +"the chief source of Irish prosperity was annihilated at a single blow." +[T. S.] + +[50] The original Navigation Act treated Ireland on an equal footing +with England. The act, however, was succeeded in 1663 by that of 15 +Charles II c. 7, in which it was declared that no European articles, +with few exceptions, could be imported into the colonies unless they had +been loaded in English-built vessels at English ports. Nor could goods +be brought from English colonies except to English ports. By the Acts 22 +and 23 of Charles II. c. 26 the exclusion of Ireland was confirmed, and +the Acts 7 and 8 of Will. III. c. 22, passed in 1696, actually +prohibited any goods whatever from being imported to Ireland direct from +the English colonies. These are the reasons for Swift's remark that +Ireland's ports were of no more use to Ireland's people "than a +beautiful prospect to a man shut up in a dungeon." [T. S.] + +[51] See note on page 137 of vol. vi of this edition. "The Drapier's +Letters." [T. S.] + +[52] Lecky quotes from the MSS. in the British Museum, from a series of +letters written by Bishop Nicholson, on his journey to Derry, to the +Archbishop of Canterbury. The quotation illustrates the truth of Swift's +remark. "Never did I behold," writes Nicholson, "even in Picardy, +Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want as +appeared in the countenances of the poor creatures I met with on the +road." In the "Intelligencer" (No. VI, 1728) Sheridan wrote: "The poor +are sunk to the lowest degrees of misery and poverty--their houses +dunghills, their victuals the blood of their cattle, or the herbs of the +field." Of the condition of the country thirty years later, the most +terrible of pictures is given by Burdy in his "Life of Skelton": "In +1757 a remarkable dearth prevailed in Ireland.... Mr. Skelton went out +into the country to discover the real state of his poor, and travelled +from cottage to cottage, over mountains, rocks, and heath.... In one +cabin he found the people eating boiled prushia [a weed with a yellow +flower that grows in cornfields] by itself for their breakfast, and +tasted this sorry food, which seemed nauseous to him. Next morning he +gave orders to have prushia gathered and boiled for his own breakfast, +that he might live on the same sort of food with the poor. He ate this +for one or two days; but at last his stomach turning against it, he set +off immediately for Ballyshannon to buy oatmeal for them.... One day, +when he was travelling in this manner through the country, he came to a +lonely cottage in the mountains, where he found a poor woman lying in +child-bed with a number of children about her. All she had, in her weak, +helpless condition to keep herself and her children alive, was blood and +sorrel boiled up together. The blood, her husband, who was a herdsman, +took from the cattle of others under his care, for he had none of his +own. This was a usual sort of food in that country in times of scarcity, +for they bled the cows for that purpose, and thus the same cow often +afforded both milk and blood.... They were obliged, when the carriers +were bringing the meal to Pettigo, to guard it with their clubs, as the +people of the adjacent parishes strove to take it by force, in which +they sometimes succeeded, hunger making them desperate." (Burdy's Life +of Skelton. "Works," vol. i, pp. lxxx-lxxxii.) [T. S.] + +[53] See on this subject the agitation against Wood's halfpence in the +volume dealing with "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.] + +[54] Faulkner and Scott print this word "irony," but the original +edition has it as printed in the text. [T. S.] + +[55] The original edition has this as "Island." Scott and the previous +editors print it as in the text. Iceland is, no doubt, referred to. +[T. S.] + +[56] Bishop Nicholson, quoted by Lecky, speaks of the miserable hovels +in which the people lived, and the almost complete absence of clothing. +[T. S.] + +[57] Hely Hutchinson, in his "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" (Dublin, +1779; new edit. 1888) points out that the scheme proposed by the +government, and partly executed, by directing a commission under the +great seal for receiving voluntary subscriptions in order to establish a +bank, was a scheme to circulate paper without money. This and Wood's +halfpence seem to have been the nearest approach made at the time for +supplying what Swift here calls "the running cash of the nation." [T. S.] + +[58] England. + +[59] Scotland and Ireland. + +[60] The Irish Sea. + +[61] The Roman Wall. + +[62] The Scottish Highlanders. [T. S] + +[63] Charles I, who was delivered by the Scotch into the hands of the +Parliamentary party. [T. S] + +[64] See note to "A Short View of the State of Ireland." [T. S.] + +[65] The King of England. [T. S.] + +[66] The Lord-Lieutenant. [T. S.] + +[67] The English Government filled all the important posts in Ireland +with individuals sent over from England. See "Boulter's Letters" on this +subject of the English rule. [T. S.] + +[68] See notes to "A Short View of the State of Ireland," on the +Navigation Acts and the acts against the exportation of cattle. [T. S.] + +[69] The laws against woollen manufacture. [T. S.] + +[70] Absentees and place-holders. [T. S.] + +[71] The spirit of opposition and enmity to England, declared by the +Scottish Act of Security, according to Swift's view of the relations +between the countries, left no alternative but an union or a war. [S.] + +[72] The Act of Union between England and Scotland. [T. S.] + +[73] The reference here is to the linen manufactories of Ireland which +were being encouraged by England. [T. S.] + +[74] Swift here refers to the sentiment, largely predominant in +Scotland, for the return of the Stuarts. [T. S.] + +[75] Alliances with France. [T. S.] + +[76] Alluding to the 33rd Henry VIII, providing that the King and his +successors should be kings imperial of both kingdoms, on which the +enemies of Irish independence founded their arguments against it. [S.] +Scott cannot be correct in this note. The allusion is surely to the +enactments known as Poyning's Law. See vol. vi., p. 77 (note) of this +edition of Swift's works. [T. S.] + +[77] Disturbances excited by the Scottish colonists in Ulster. [S.] + +[78] The subjugation of Scotland by Cromwell. [S.] + +[79] That is to say, to interpret Poyning's law in the spirit in which +it was enacted, and give to Ireland the right to make its own laws. +[T. S.] + +[80] Free trade and the repeal of the Navigation Act. [T. S.] + +[81] Office-holders should not be absentees. [T. S.] + +[82] That the land laws of Ireland shall be free from interference by +England, and the produce of the land free to be exported to any place. +[T. S.] + +[83] The laws prohibiting the importation of live cattle into England, +and the restrictions as to the woollen industry, were the ruin of those +who held land for grazing purposes. [T. S.] + +[84] The Act of 10 and 11 William III., cap. 10, was the final blow to +the woollen industry of Ireland. It was enacted in 1699, and prohibited +the exportation of Irish wool to any other country. In the fifth letter +of Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" (1779) will be +found a full account of the passing of this Act and its consequences. +[T. S.] + +[85] Edward Waters and John Harding, the printers of Swift's pamphlets. +See volume on "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.] + +[86] The text here given is that of the original manuscript in the +Forster Collection at South Kensington, collated with that given by +Deane Swift in vol. viii. of the 4to edition of 1765. [T. S.] + +[87] The letter was written in reply to a letter received from Messrs. +Truman and Layfield. [T. S.] + +[88] Dr. William King, Archbishop of Dublin. [T. S.] + +[89] Swift betrays here a lamentable knowledge of the geography of this +part of America. Penn, however, may have known no better. [T. S.] + +[90] William Burnet, at this time the Governor of Massachusetts, was the +son of Swift's old enemy, Bishop Burnet. [T. S.] + +[91] Burnet quarrelled with the Assembly of Massachusetts and New +Hampshire because they would not allow him a fixed salary. The Assembly +attempted to give him instead a fee on ships leaving Boston, but the +English Government refused to allow this. [T. S.] + +[92] The original MS. on which this text is based does not contain the +passage here given in brackets. [T. S.] + +[93] Swift is here supported by Arthur Dobbs, who in his "Essays on +Trade," pt. ii. (1731) gives as one of the conditions prejudicial to +trade, the luxury of living and extravagance in food, dress, furniture, +and equipage by the Irish well-to-do. He describes it "as one of the +principal sources of our national evils." His remedy was a tax on +expensive dress, and rich equipage and furniture. [T. S.] + +[94] The text of this tract is based on that given by Deane Swift in the +eighth volume of his edition of Swift's works published in quarto in +1765. [T. S.] + +[95] This refers to Whitshed. [T. S.] + +[96] The Fourth. See vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[97] Some ten years after Swift wrote the above, the roads of Ireland +were thought to be so good as to attract Whitefield's attention. Lecky +quotes Arthur Young, who found Irish roads superior to those of England. +(Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., p. 330, 1892 ed.) [T. S.] + +[98] Lecky (vol. i., pp. 333-335, 1892 edit.) gives a detailed account +of the destruction of the fine woods in Ireland which occurred during +the forty years that followed the Revolution. The melancholy sight of +the denuded land drew the attention of a Parliamentary Commission +appointed to inquire into the matter. The Act of 10 Will. III. 2, c. 12 +ordered the planting of a certain number of trees in every county, +"but," remarks Lecky, "it was insufficient to counteract the destruction +which was due to the cupidity or the fears of the new proprietors." +[T. S.] + +[99] Swift always distinguished between the Irish "barbarians" and the +Irish who were in reality English settlers in Ireland. Swift, for once, +is in accord with the desires of the English Government, who wished to +eradicate the Irish language. His friend the Archbishop of Dublin and +his own college, that of Trinity, were in favour of keeping the language +alive. (See Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., pp. 331-332.) [T. S.] + +[100] See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.] + +[101] See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.] + +[102] The text here given is that of Scott read by the "Miscellaneous +Pieces" of 1789. The "Observations" were written, probably, in 1729. +[T. S.] + +[103] Monck Mason has an elaborate note on this subject ("Hist. of St. +Patrick's Cathedral," pp. 320-321, ed. 1819), which is well worth +reprinting here, since it is an excellent statement of facts, and is +fully borne out by Hely Hutchinson's account in his "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland," to which reference has already been made: + +"In the year 1698 a bill was introduced into the English Parliament, +grounded upon complaints, that the woollen manufacture in Ireland +prejudiced the staple trade of England; the matter terminated at last in +an address to the King, wherein the commons 'implored his majesty's +protection and favour on this matter, and that he would make it his +royal care, and enjoin all those whom he employed in Ireland, to use +their utmost diligence, to hinder the exportation of wool from Ireland +(except it be imported into England), and for the discouraging the +woollen manufacture, and increasing the linen manufacture of Ireland.' +Accordingly, on the 16th July, the King wrote a letter of instructions +to the Earl of Galway, in which the following passage appears: 'The +chief thing that must be tried to be prevented, is, that the Irish +parliament takes no notice of what has passed in this here, and that you +make effectual laws for the linen manufacture, and discourage as far as +possible the woollen.'--The Earl of Galway and the other justices +convened the parliament on the 27th of September; in their speech, they +recommended a bill for the encouragement of the manufactures of linen +and hemp, 'which,' say they, 'will be found more advantageous to this +kingdom than the woollen manufacture, which, being the settled trade of +England from whence all foreign markets are supplied, can never be +encouraged here.' The house of commons so far concurred with the lords +justices' sentiments as to say, in their address of thanks, that they +would heartily endeavour to establish the linen manufacture, and to +render the same useful to England, and 'we hope,' they add, 'to find +such a temperament, with respect to the woollen trade here, that the +same may not be injurious to England' ('Cont. Rapin's Hist.,' p. 376). +'And they did,' says Mr. Smith, 'so far come into a temperament in this +case, as, hoping it would be accepted by way of compromise, to lay a +high duty of ... upon all their woollen manufacture exported; under +which, had England acquiesced, I am persuaded it would have been better +for the kingdom in general. But the false notion of a possible monopoly, +made the English deaf to all other terms of accommodation; by which +means they lost the horse rather than quit the stable' ('Memoirs of +Wool,' vol. ii., p. 30). The duties imposed by the Irish parliament, at +this time, upon the export of manufactured wool, was four shillings on +the value of twenty shillings of the old drapery, and two shillings upon +the like value of the new, except friezes. But this concurrence of the +people of Ireland seemed rather to heighten the jealousy between the two +nations, by making the people of England imagine the manufactures of +Ireland were arrived at a dangerous pitch of improvement, since they +could be supposed capable of bearing so extravagant a duty: accordingly, +in the next following year, the English parliament passed an Act (10-11 +William III: cap. 10), that no person should export from Ireland wool or +woollen goods, except to England or Wales, under high penalties, such +goods to be shipped only from certain ports in Ireland, and to certain +ports in England: But this was not the whole grievance; the old duties +upon the import of those commodities, whether raw or manufactured, into +Great Britain, were left in the same state as before, which amounted +nearly to a prohibition; thus did the English, although they had not +themselves any occasion for those commodities, prohibit, nevertheless, +their being sent to any other nation. + +"The discouragement of the woollen manufacture of Ireland, affected +particularly the English settlers there, for the linen was entirely in +the hands of the Scotch, who were established in Ulster, and the Irish +natives had no share in either. It is stated in a pamphlet, entitled, 'A +Discourse concerning Ireland, etc. in answer to the Exon and Barnstaple +petitions,' printed 1697-8, that there were then, in the city and +suburbs of Dublin, 12,000 English families, and throughout the nation, +50,000, who were bred to trades connected with the manufacture of wool, +'who could no more get their bread in the linen manufacture, than a +London taylor by shoe-making.' + +"Mr. Walter Scott says ('Life of Swift,' p. 278) that the Irish woollen +manufacture produced an annual million, but this is not the fact; Mr. +Dobbs in his 'Essay on the Trade of Ireland,' informs us, from the +custom-house books, that in the year 1697 (which immediately preceded +the year in which the address above-mentioned was transmitted to the +king) the total value of Irish woollen exports, of all sorts, was only +_£23,614 9s. 6d._, and in 1687, when they were at the highest, they +did not exceed _£70,521 14s. 0d._ It moreover appears, that the +greater part of these exports were of a sort which did not interfere +with the trade of England, _£56,415 16s. 0d._ was in friezes, and +_£2,520 18s. 0d._ coarse stockings, the rest consisted in serges and +other stuffs of the new drapery, which affected not the trade of England +generally, but only the particular interests of Exeter and its +neighbourhood, and a very few other inconsiderable towns. + +"But, whatever injury was intended, little prejudice was done to +Ireland, except what followed immediately after the passing of this Act. +It appears from Mr. Dobbs's pamphlet, that, a few years after, four +times the quantity of woollen goods were shipped in each year, +clandestinely, than had ever been exported, legally, before: moreover, +the Irish vastly increased their manufactures for home consumption, and +learned to make fine cloth from Spanish wool: it was only to England +itself that any disadvantage redounded; many manufacturers who were +unsettled by this measure, passed over to Germany, Spain, and to Rouen +and other parts of France, 'from these beginnings they have, in many +branches, so much improved the woollen manufactures of France, as to vie +with the English in foreign markets.--Upon the whole, those nations may +be justly said to have deprived Britain of millions since that time, +instead of the thousands Ireland might possibly have made.'--What Mr. +Dobbs has here asserted, relative to the removal of the manufacturers, +has been confirmed by another tract, 'Letter from a Clothier a Member of +Parliament,' printed in 1731, which informs us that, for some years +after, the English seemed to engross all the woollen trade, 'but this +appearance of benefit abated, as the foreign factories, raised on the +ruin of the Irish, acquired strength': he shows too, that the +importation of unmanufactured wool from Ireland to England had been +gradually decreasing since that time, which was probably on account of +the increase of the illicit trade to foreign parts, towards the +encouragement of which the duties, or legal transportation, served to +act as a bounty of 36 per cent. 'So true it is, that England can never +fall into measures for unreasonably cramping the industry of the people +of Ireland, without doing herself the greatest prejudice.'" (Note g, pp. +320-321). [T. S.] + +[104] The causes for absenteeism are thus noted by Lecky ("Hist. of +Ireland," p. 213, vol. i., ed. 1892): "The very large part of the +confiscated land was given to Englishmen who had property and duties in +England, and habitually lived there. Much of it also came into the +market, and as there was very little capital in Ireland, and as +Catholics were forbidden to purchase land, this also passed largely into +the hands of English speculators. Besides, the level of civilization was +much higher in England than in Ireland. The position of a Protestant +landlord, living in the midst of a degraded population, differing from +him in religion and race, had but little attraction, the political +situation of the country closed to an Irish gentleman nearly every +avenue of honourable ambition, and owing to a long series of very +evident causes, the sentiment of public duty was deplorably low. The +economical condition was not checked by any considerable movement in the +opposite direction, for after the suppression of the Irish manufactures +but few Englishmen, except those who obtained Irish offices, came to +Ireland." + +The amount of the rent obtained in Ireland that was spent in England is +estimated elsewhere by Swift to have been at least one-third. In 1729, +Prior assessed the amount at £627,000. In the Supplement to his "List of +Absentees," Prior gives eight further "articles" by which money was +"yearly drawn out of the Kingdom." See the "Supplement," pp. 242-245 in +Thone's "Collection of Tracts," Dublin, 1861. [T. S.] + +[105] John Erskine, Earl of Mar, has elsewhere been characterized by +Swift as "crooked; he seemed to me to be a gentleman of good sense and +good nature." The great rebellion of 1715, for which Mar was +responsible, was stirred up by him in favour of the Pretender, and +succeeded so far as to bring the Chevalier to Scotland. The Duke of +Argyll, however, fought his forces, and though the victory remained +undecided, Mar was compelled to seek safety in France. The rebellion +caused so much disturbance in every part of the British Isles that +Ireland suffered greatly from bad trade. [T. S.] + +[106] Joshua, Lord Allen. See note on p. 175. [T. S.] + +[107] See page 60 of vol. iii. of the present edition. [T. S.] + +[108] Chief Justice Whitshed. [T. S.] + +[109] See page 14. [T. S.] + +[110] Edward Waters. [T. S.] + +[111] See pages 96, 235-6, of vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[112] The person here intimated, Joshua, Lord Allen (whom Swift +elsewhere satirizes under the name of Traulus), was born in 1685. He is +said to have been a weak and dissipated man; and some particulars are +recorded by tradition concerning his marriage with Miss Du Pass (whose +father was clerk of the secretary of state's office in James the +Second's reign, and died in India in 1699), which do very little honour +either to his heart or understanding. + +It is reported, that being trepanned into a marriage with this lady, by +a stratagem of the celebrated Lionel, Duke of Dorset, Lord Allen +refused, for some time, to acknowledge her as his wife. But the lady, +after living some time in close retirement, caused an advertisement to +be inserted in the papers, stating the death of a brother in the East +Indies, by which Miss Margaret Du Pass had succeeded to a large fortune. +Accordingly, she put on mourning, and assumed an equipage conforming to +her supposed change of fortune. Lord Allen's affairs being much +deranged, he became now as anxious to prove the marriage with the +wealthy heiress, as he had formerly been to disown the unportioned +damsel; and succeeded, after such opposition as the lady judged +necessary to give colour to the farce. Before the deceit was discovered, +Lady Allen, by her good sense and talents, had obtained such ascendance +over her husband, that they ever afterwards lived in great harmony. + +Lord Allen was, at the time of giving offence to Swift, a +privy-counsellor; and distinguished himself, according to Lodge, in the +House of Peers, by his excellent speeches for the benefit of his +country. He died at Stillorgan, 1742. [S.] + +Swift did not allow Lord Allen to rest with this "advertisement." In the +poem entitled "Traulus," Allen is gibbetted in some lively rhymes. He +calls him a "motley fruit of mongrel seed," and traces his descent from +the mother's side (she was the sister of the Earl of Kildare) as well as +the father's (who was the son of Sir Joshua Allen, Lord Mayor of Dublin +in 1673): + + "Who could give the looby such airs? + Were they masons, were they butchers? + + * * * * * + + This was dexterous at the trowel, + That was bred to kill a cow well: + Hence the greasy clumsy mien + In his dress and figure seen; + Hence the mean and sordid soul, + Like his body rank and foul; + Hence that wild suspicious peep, + Like a rogue that steals a sheep; + Hence he learnt the butcher's guile, + How to cut your throat and smile; + Like a butcher doomed for life + In his mouth to wear a knife; + Hence he draws his daily food + From his tenants' vital blood." + +[T. S.] + +[113] See note on page 66 of vol. vi. of present edition. The patent to +Lord Dartmouth, granting him the right to coin copper coins, provided +that he should give security to redeem these coins for gold or silver on +demand. John Knox obtained this patent and Colonel Moore acquired it +from Knox after the Revolution. [T. S.] + +[114] Of ten pence in every two shillings. [F.] + +[115] But M'Culla hath still _30l._ per cent. by the scheme, if they be +returned. [F.] + +[116] Faulkner's edition adds here: "For the benefit of defrauding the +crown never occurreth to the public, but is wholly turned to the +advantage of those whom the crown employeth." [T. S.] + +[117] See page 89 of vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[118] 1: Faulkner's edition adds here: "it being a matter wholly out +of my trade." [T. S.] + +[119] See "A Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures," p. +19. [T. S.] + +[120] See Swift's letter to Archbishop King on the weavers, p. 137. +[T. S.] + +[121] Edward Waters. [T. S.] + +[122] See note prefixed to pamphlet on p. 15. [T. S.] + +[123] See notes on pp. 6, 7, 8 and 73 of vol. vi. of present edition. +[T. S.] + +[124] See Appendix V. in vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[125] See page 81. [T. S.] + +[126] Nathaniel Mist was the publisher of the "Weekly Journal," for +which Defoe wrote many important papers. The greater part of his career +as a printer was spent in trials and imprisonments for the "libels" +which appeared in his journal. This was largely due to the fact that his +weekly newspaper became the recognized organ of Jacobites and +"High-fliers." From 1716 to 1728 he was a pretty busy man with the +government, and finally was compelled to go to France to escape from +prosecution. In France he joined Wharton, but his "Journal" still +continued to be issued until September 21st of the year 1728, which was +the date of the last issue. On the 28th of the same month, however, +appeared its continuation under the title, "Fog's Weekly Journal," and +this was carried on by Mist's friends. Mist died in 1737. [T. S.] + +[127] See notes on pp. 158-159. [T. S.] + +[128] "Observations on the Precedent List: Together with a View of the +Trade of Ireland, and the Great Benefits which accrue to England +thereby; with some hints for the further improvement of the same." +Dublin, second edition, 1729. Reprinted in Thom's "Tracts and Treatises +of Ireland," 1861, vol. ii. [T. S] + +[129] A reference to Alberoni's expedition in aid of the Jacobites made +several years before Swift wrote. [T. S.] + +[130] Sir W. Petty gives the population of Ireland as about one million, +two hundred thousand ("Pol. Arithmetic," 1699). [T. S.] + +[131] This is probably a Swiftian plausibility to give an air of truth +to his remarks. Certain parts of America were at that time reputed to be +inhabited by cannibals. [T. S.] + +[132] This anecdote is taken from the Description of the Island of +Formosa by that very extraordinary impostor George Psalmanazar, who for +some time passed himself for a native of that distant country. He +afterwards published a retractation of his figments, with many +expressions of contrition, but containing certain very natural +indications of dislike to those who had detected him. The passage +referred to in the text is as follows: "We also eat human flesh, which +I am now convinced is a very barbarous custom, though we feed only upon +our open enemies, slain or made captive in the field, or else upon +malefactors legally executed; the flesh of the latter is our greatest +dainty, and is four times dearer than other rare and delicious meat. We +buy it of the executioner, for the bodies of all public capital +offenders are his fees. As soon as the criminal is dead, he cuts the +body in pieces, squeezes out the blood, and makes his house a shambles +for the flesh of men and women, where all people that can afford it come +and buy. I remember, about ten years ago, a tall, well-complexioned, +pretty fat virgin, about nineteen years of age, and tire-woman to the +queen, was found guilty of high treason, for designing to poison the +king; and accordingly she was condemned to suffer the most cruel death +that could be invented, and her sentence was, to be nailed to a cross, +and kept alive as long as possible. The sentence was put in execution; +when she fainted with the cruel torment, the hangman gave her strong +liquors, &c. to revive her; the sixth day she died. Her long sufferings, +youth, and good constitution, made her flesh so tender, delicious, and +valuable, that the executioner sold it for above eight tallies; for +there was such thronging to this inhuman market, that men of great +fashion thought themselves fortunate if they could purchase a pound or +two of it." Lond. 1705, p. 112. [S.] + +[133] The English government had been making concessions to the +Dissenters, and, of course, Swift satirically alludes here to the +arguments used by the government in the steps they had taken. But the +truth of the matter, Swift hints, was, that those who desired to abolish +the test were more anxious for their pockets than their consciences. +[T. S.] + +[134] The inhabitants of a district of Brazil supposed to be savages, +making the name synonymous with savage ignorance. [T. S.] + +[135] + + "Remove me from this land of slaves, + Where all are fools, and all are knaves, + Where every fool and knave is bought, + Yet kindly sells himself for nought." + +(_From Swift's note-book, written while detained at Holyhead in +September, 1727._) [T. S.] + +[136] All these are proposals advocated, of course, by Swift himself, in +previous pamphlets and papers. [T. S.] + +[137] So that there would be no danger of an objection from England that +the English were suffering from Irish competition. [T. S.] + +[138] This was the celebrated periodical founded by Pulteney, after he +had separated himself from Walpole, to which Bolingbroke contributed his +famous letters of an Occasional Writer. The journal carried on a +political war against Walpole's administration, and endeavoured to bring +about the establishment of a new party, to consist of Tories and the +Whigs who could not agree with Walpole's methods. Caleb D'Anvers was a +mere name for a Grub Street hack who was supposed to be the writer. But +Walpole had no difficulty in recognizing the hand of Bolingbroke, and +his reply to the first number of the Occasional Writer made Bolingbroke +wince. [T. S.] + +[139] The "Modest Proposal." See page 207. [T. S.] + +[140] Referring to the silks, laces, and dress of the extravagant women. +See pp. 139, 198, 199. [T. S.] + +[141] The chief source of income in Ireland came from the pasture lands +on which cattle were bred. The cattle were imported to England. The +English landlords, however, taking alarm, discovered to the Crown that +this importation of Irish cattle was lowering English rents. Two Acts +passed in 1665 and 1680 fully met the wishes of the landlords, and +ruined absolutely the Irish cattle trade. Prevented thus from breeding +cattle, the Irish turned to the breeding of sheep, and established, in a +very short time, an excellent trade in wool. How England ruined this +industry also may be seen from note on p. 158. [T. S.] + +[142] Alluding to the facilities afforded for the recruiting of the +French army in Ireland. [T. S.] + +[143] The King of France. [T. S.] + +[144] Buttermilk. The quotation from Virgil aptly applies to the food of +the Irish peasants, who, in the words of Skelton, bled their cattle and +boiled their blood with sorrel to make a food. [T. S.] + +[145] At Christ Church. See note prefixed to this tract. [T. S.] + +[146] Sheridan, in his life of Swift, gives an instance of this which is +quoted by Scott. Carteret had appointed Sheridan one of his domestic +chaplains, and the two would often spend hours together, or, in company +with Swift, exchanging talk and knowledge. When Sheridan had one of the +Greek tragedies performed by the scholars of the school he kept, +Carteret wished to read the play over with him before the performance. +At this reading Sheridan was surprised at the ease with which his patron +could translate the original, and, asking him how he came to know it so +well, Carteret told him "that when he was envoy in Denmark, he had been +for a long time confined to his chamber, partly by illness, and partly +by the severity of the weather; and having but few books with him, he +had read Sophocles over and over so often as to be almost able to repeat +the whole _verbatim_, which impressed it ever after indelibly on his +memory." [T. S.] + +[147] This refers to Richard Tighe, the gentleman who informed on poor +Sheridan for preaching from the text on the anniversary of King George's +accession, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." It was on this +information that Sheridan lost his living. Swift never afterwards missed +an opportunity to ridicule Tighe, and he has lampooned that individual +in several poems. In "The Legion Club" Swift calls him Dick Fitzbaker, +alluding to his descent from one of Cromwell's contractors, who supplied +the army with bread. [T. S.] + +[148] "The worst of times" was the expression used by the Whigs when +they referred to Oxford's administration in the last four years of Queen +Anne's reign. [T. S.] + +[149] A famous rope-dancer of that time. [H.] + +[150] A justice of the peace, who afterwards gave Swift farther +provocation. It was Hutcheson who signed Faulkner's committal to prison +for printing "A New Proposal for the Better Regulation and Improvement +of Quadrille," a pamphlet which Swift did not write, but which had his +favour. A jeering insinuation was made against the famous Sergeant +Bettesworth, whom Swift had already lampooned, and Bettesworth +complained to the House of Commons. Hutcheson aided Bettesworth in this +prosecution, causing Swift to be roused to a strong indignation against +such unconstitutional proceedings. + + "Better we all were in our graves, + Than live in slavery to slaves." + +These are the lines beginning one of his more trenchant lampoons against +the magistrate. [T. S.] + +[151] "The beast who had kicked him" is the expression Swift uses for +Tighe in writing to Sheridan in a letter on September 25th, 1725. In +that letter Swift urges Sheridan to revenge, and promises him his help. +[T. S.] + +[152] The word is spelt "Galloway" in the original edition. The earldom +of Galway became extinct in 1720. For an account of the earl, see note +on p. 20 of volume v. of this edition. [T. S.] + +[153] Joshua, Lord Allen. See p. 175 [T. S.] + +[154] Swift's poem entitled "Traulus" was published at this price, and +gives in rhyme much the same matter as is here given in prose. See p. +176. [T. S.] + +[155] Lord Allen was reputed to be wrong in his head. When Swift was +once asked to excuse him for his conduct on the plea that he was mad, +Swift replied: "I know that he is a madman; and, if that were all, no +man living could commiserate his condition more than myself; but, sir, +he is a madman possessed by the devil. I renounce him." (See Scott's +"Life of Swift," p. 365.) [T. S.] + +[156] The reader may compare what is stated in these two paragraphs with +the same opinion expressed by the author in "The Public Spirit of the +Whigs." [S.] + +[157] See notes on pp. 74, 232. [T. S.] + +[158] See note on p. 232. [T. S.] + +[159] Mr. Tickell and Mr. Ballaquer. Tickell was Addison's biographer, +and a friend and correspondent of Swift. He was no mean poet, and though +Pope did not care for him Swift did. Tickell was Secretary to the Lords +Justices of Ireland, and Ballaquer Secretary to Carteret. [T. S.] + +[160] The day of the anniversary of the accession of George I. In his +"History of Solomon the Second" Swift censures his friend strongly for +his indiscretion. [T. S.] + +[161] The Richard Tighe afore-mentioned. [T. S.] + +[162] Sheridan wrote a poem displeasing to Swift, which Swift thus +animadverts on in the "History of the Second Solomon": "Having lain many +years under the obloquy of a high Tory and a Jacobite, upon the present +Queen's birthday, he [Dr. Sheridan] writ a song to be performed before +the government and those who attended them, in praise of the Queen and +King, on the common topics of her beauty, wit, family, love of England, +and all other virtues, wherein the King and the royal children were +sharers. It was very hard to avoid the common topics. A young collegian +who had done the same job the year before, got some reputation on +account of his wit. Solomon would needs vie with him, by which he lost +the esteem of his old friends the Tories, and got not the least interest +with the Whigs, for they are now too strong to want advocates of that +kind; and, therefore, one of the lords-justices reading the verses in +some company, said, 'Ah, doctor, this shall not do.' His name was at +length in the title-page; and he did this without the knowledge or +advice of one living soul, as he himself confesseth." [T. S.] + +[163] Dr. Stopford, Bishop of Cloyne, one of Swift's intimate friends. +Stopford always acknowledged that he owed his advancement entirely to +Swift's kindness. He wrote an elegant Latin tribute to Swift, given by +Scott in an appendix to the "Life." With Delany and others he was one of +Swift's executors. + +[164] Delany was a ripe scholar and much esteemed by Swift, though the +latter had occasion to rebuke him for attempting to court favour with +the Castle people, and for an attack on the "Intelligencer," a journal +which Swift and Sheridan had started. Delany, however, was a little +jealous of Sheridan's favour with the Dean. He was afterwards Chancellor +of St Patrick's, and wrote a life of Swift. [T. S.] + +[165] Sir Constantine Phipps, Lord Chancellor of Ireland when Queen Anne +died. [_Orig. Note._] + +[166] Swift himself. [T. S.] + +[167] Dr. William King, who died a year or so before Swift wrote. [T. S.] + +[168] In 1724, two under-graduates were expelled from Trinity College +for alleged insolence to the provost. Dr. Delany espoused their cause +with such warmth that it drew upon him very inconvenient consequences, +and he was at length obliged to give satisfaction to the college by a +formal acknowledgment of his offence. [S.] + +[169] A very good friend of Swift, at whose place at Gosford, in the +county of Antrim, Swift would often stay for months together. The +reference here is to the project for converting a large house, called +Hamilton's Bawn, situated about two miles from Sir Arthur Acheson's +seat, into a barrack. The project gave rise to Swift's poem, entitled, +"The Grand Question Debated," given by Scott in vol. xv., p. 171. [T. S.] + +[170] Most of these expressions explain themselves. "Termagants" was +applied to resisters, as used in the old morality plays. "Iconoclasts," +the name given to those who defaced King William's statue. +"White-rosalists," given to those who wore the Stuart badge on the 10th +of June, the day of the Pretender's birthday. [T. S.] + +[171] By fines is meant the increase made in rents on the occasion of +renewals of leases. [T. S.] + +[172] This document was copied by Sir Walter Scott from Dr. Lyon's +papers. It is indorsed, "Queries for Mr. Lindsay," and "21st Nov., 1730, +Mr. Lindsay's opinion concerning Mr. Gorman, in answer to my queries." +Mr. Lindsay's answer was: + +"I have carefully perused and considered this case, and am clearly of +opinion, that the agent has not made any one answer like a man of +business, but has answered very much like a true agent. + +"Nov. 21, 1730. Robert Lindsay." + +[173] Swift was born at No. 7, Hoey's Court, near the Castle grounds. +[T. S.] + +[174] A sort of sugar-cakes in the shape of hearts. [F.] + +[175] A new name for a modern periwig with a long black tail, and for +its owner; now in fashion, Dec. 1, 1733. [F.] + +[176] Referring to the last four years of Anne's reign, when Harley was +minister. The expression was a Whig one. [T. S.] + +[177] "The squeezing of the orange" was literally a toast among the +disaffected in the reign of William III. [S.] + +[178] The author's meaning is just contrary to the literal sense in the +character of Lord Oxford; while he is in truth sneering at the splendour +of Houghton, and the supposed wealth of Sir Robert Walpole. [S.] + +[179] The paragraph here printed in square brackets did not appear in +the original Dublin edition of 1732. [T. S.] + +[180] Was a gentleman of a very large estate, and left it to the poor +people of England, to be distributed amongst them annually, as the +Parliament of Great Britain, his executors, should think proper. [F.] + +[181] 4,060,000 in 1734 and 4,600,000 in edition of 1733. To make the +total agree with the division below it, the item against Richard Norton +has been altered from 60,000 to 6,000. [T. S.] + +[182] See note on page 269. [T. S.] + +[183] See note on page 271. [T. S.] + +[184] Humphry French, Lord Mayor of Dublin for the year 1732-3, was +elected to succeed Alderman Samuel Burton. [F.] + +[185] John Macarrell, Register of the Barracks, shortly after this date +elected to the representation of Carlingford. [F.] + +[186] Edward Thompson, member of parliament for York, and a Commissioner +of the Revenue in Ireland. [F.] + +[187] Mr. Thompson was presented with the freedom of several +corporations in Ireland. [F.] + +[188] Upon the death of Mr. Stoyte, Recorder of the City of Dublin, in +the year 1733, several gentlemen declared themselves candidates to +succeed him; upon which the Dean wrote the above paper, and Eaton +Stannard, Esq. (a gentleman of great worth and honour, and very knowing +in his profession) was elected [F.] + +[189] Dr. William King. [T. S.] + +[190] The following, from Deane Swift's edition, given by Sir Walter +Scott in his edition of Swift's works, refers to this "very plain +proposal." It is evidently written by Swift, and is dated, as from the +Deanery House, September 26th, 1726, almost eleven years before the +above tract was issued: + +"DEANERY-HOUSE, _Sept. 26, 1726._ + +"The continued concourse of beggars from all parts of the kingdom to +this city, having made it impossible for the several parishes to +maintain their own poor, according to the ancient laws of the land, +several lord mayors did apply themselves to the lord Archbishop of +Dublin, that his grace would direct his clergy, and his churchwardens of +the said city, to appoint badges of brass, copper, or pewter, to be worn +by the poor of the several parishes. The badges to be marked with the +initial letters of the name of each church, and numbered 1, 2, 3, etc., +and to be well sewed and fastened on the right and left shoulder of the +outward garment of each of the said poor, by which they might be +distinguished. And that none of the said poor should go out of their own +parish to beg alms; whereof the beadles were to take care. + +"His grace the lord Archbishop, did accordingly give his directions to +the clergy; which, however, have proved wholly ineffectual, by the +fraud, perverseness, or pride of the said poor, several of them openly +protesting 'they will never submit to wear the said badges.' And of +those who received them, almost every one keep them in their pockets, or +hang them in a string about their necks, or fasten them under their +coats, not to be seen, by which means the whole design is eluded; so +that a man may walk from one end of the town to another, without seeing +one beggar regularly badged, and in such great numbers, that they are a +mighty nuisance to the public, most of them being foreigners. + +"It is therefore proposed, that his grace the lord Archbishop would +please to call the clergy of the city together, and renew his directions +and exhortations to them, to put the affair of badges effectually in +practice, by such methods as his grace and they shall agree upon. And I +think it would be highly necessary that some paper should be pasted up +in several proper parts of the city, signifying this order, and +exhorting all people to give no alms except to those poor who are +regularly badged, and only while they are in the precincts of their own +parishes. And if something like this were delivered by the ministers in +the reading-desk two or three Lord's-days successively, it would still +be of further use to put this matter upon a right foot. And that all who +offend against this regulation shall be treated as vagabonds and sturdy +beggars." [T. S.] + +[191] Spelt now St. Warburgh's. [T. S.] + +[192] About the beginning of the eighteenth century, Dr. Gwythers, a +physician, and fellow of the University of Dublin, brought over with him +a parcel of frogs from England to Ireland, in order to propagate their +species in that kingdom, and threw them into the ditches of the +University Park; but they all perished. Whereupon he sent to England for +some bottles of the frog-spawn, which he threw into those ditches, by +which means the species of frogs was propagated in that kingdom. +However, their number was so small in the year 1720, that a frog was +nowhere to be seen in Ireland, except in the neighbourhood of the +University Park: but within six or seven years after, they spread +thirty, forty, or fifty miles over the country; and so at last, by +degrees, over the whole country. [D. S.] + +[193] Swift's uncle, Godwin Swift, for whose memory he had no special +regard, seems to have been concerned in this ingenious anagram and +unfortunate project. [S.] + +[194] This reproach has been certainly removed since the Dean +flourished; for the titles of the Irish peerages of late creation have +rather been in the opposite extreme, and resemble, in some instances, +the appellatives in romances and novels. + +Thomas O'Brien MacMahon, an Irish author, quoted by Mr. Southey in his +Omniana, in a most angry pamphlet on "The Candour and Good-nature of +Englishmen," has the following diverting passage, which may serve as a +corollary to Swift's Tract:--"You sent out the children of your +princes," says he, addressing the Irish, "and sometimes your princes in +person, to enlighten this kingdom, then sitting in utter darkness, +(meaning England) and how have they recompensed you? Why, after +lawlessly distributing your estates, possessed for thirteen centuries or +more, by your illustrious families, whose antiquity and nobility, if +equalled by any nation in the world, none but the immutable God of +Abraham's chosen, though, at present, wandering and afflicted people, +surpasses: After, I say, seizing on your inheritances, and flinging them +among their Cocks, Hens, Crows, Rooks, Daws, Wolves, Lions, Foxes, Rams, +Bulls, Hoggs, and other beasts and birds of prey, or vesting them in the +sweepings of their jails, their Small-woods, Do-littles, Barebones, +Strangeways, Smarts, Sharps, Tarts, Sterns, Churls, and Savages; their +Greens, Blacks, Browns, Greys and Whites; their Smiths, Carpenters, +Brewers, Bakers, and Taylors; their Sutlers, Cutlers, Butlers, Trustlers +and Jugglers; their Norths, Souths, and Wests; their Fields, Rows, +Streets, and Lanes; their Toms-sons, Dicks-sons, Johns-sons, James-sons, +Wills-sons, and Waters-sons; their Shorts, Longs, Lows, and Squabs; +their Parks, Sacks, Tacks, and Jacks; and, to complete their ingratitude +and injustice, they have transported a cargo of notorious traitors to +the Divine Majesty among you, impiously calling them the Ministers of +God's Word." [S.] + +[195] The Tholsel, where criminals for the city were tried, and where +proclamations, etc., were posted. It was invariably called the Touls'el +by the lower class. [S.] + +[196] This and the following piece were, according to Sir Walter Scott, +found among the collection of Mr. Smith. The examples of English +blunders which Scott also reprints were given by Sheridan by way of +retaliation to these specimens of Irish blunders noted by Swift. [T. S.] + +[197] This specimen of Irish-English, or what Swift condemned as such, +is taken from an unfinished copy in the Dean's handwriting, found among +Mr. Lyons's papers. [S.] + +[198] See note on p. 368. [T. S.] + +[199] Dunkin was one of Swift's favourites, to judge by the efforts +Swift made on his behalf. Writing to Alderman Barber (17th January, +1737-38), Swift speaks of him as "a gentleman of much wit and the best +English as well as Latin poet in this kingdom." Several of Dunkin's +poems were printed in Scott's edition of Swift's works, but his +collected works were issued in 1774. Dunkin was educated at Trinity +College, Dublin. [T. S.] + +[200] The "Occasional Writer's" Letters are printed in Lord +Bolingbroke's Works. [N.] + +[201] Sir Robert Walpole was by no means negligent of his literary +assistants. But, unfortunately, like an unskilful general, he confided +more in the number than the spirit or discipline of his forces. Arnall, +Concanen, and Henley, were wretched auxiliaries; yet they could not +complain of indifferent pay, since Arnall used to brag, that, in the +course of four years, he had received from the treasury, for his +political writings, the sum of _£10,997 6s. 8d._ [S.] + +[202] The authority for considering this "Account" to be the work of +Swift is Mr. Deane Swift, the editor of the edition of 1765 of Swift's +works. It is included in the eighth volume of the quarto edition issued +that year. Burke also seems to have had no doubt at all about the +authorship. Referring to the Dean's disposition to defend Queen Anne and +to ridicule her successor, he says, "it is probable that the pieces in +which he does it ('Account of the Court of Japan,' and 'Directions for +making a Birth-day Song') were the occasion of most of the other +posthumous articles having been so long withheld from the publick." +Undoubtedly, there is much in this piece that savours of Swift's method +of dealing with such a subject; but that could easily be imitated by a +clever reader of "Gulliver." The style, however, in which it is written +is not distinctly Swift's. + +At the time this tract was written (1728) the Tory party was anxiously +hoping that the accession of George II. would see the downfall of +Walpole. But the party was doomed to a bitter disappointment. Walpole +not only maintained but added to the power he enjoyed under George I. By +what means this was accomplished the writer of this piece attempts to +hint. Sir Walter Scott thinks the piece was probably left imperfect, +"when the crisis to which the Tories so anxiously looked forward +terminated so undesirably, in the confirmation of Walpole's power." +[T. S.] + +[203] King George. [S.] + +[204] Queen Anne. [S.] + +[205] Whigs and Tories. Anagrams of Huigse and Toryes. [T. S.] + +[206] Hanover. Anagrams for Deuts = Deutsch = German. [T. S.] + +[207] Bremen and Lubeck. [S.] + +[208] The quadruple alliance, usually accounted the most impolitic step +in the reign of George I., had its rise in his anxiety for his +continental dominions. [S.] + +[209] Through all the reign of George I., the Whigs were in triumphant +possession of the government. [S.] + +[210] Sir Robert Walpole [S.] + +[211] When secretary at war, Walpole received £500 from the contractors +for forage; and although he alleged that it was a sum due to a third +party in the contract, and only remitted through his hands, he was voted +guilty of corruption, expelled the House, and sent to the Tower, by the +Tory Parliament. [S.] + +[212] King George II. [S.] + +[213] Sir Spencer Compton, Speaker of the House of Commons. [S.] + +[214] Sir Thomas Hanmer. [S.] + +[215] About a million sterling. [D. S.] + +[216] This piece is included here on the authority of Mr. Deane Swift, +and was accepted by Sir Walter Scott on the same authority. The writing +is excellent and bears every mark of Swift's hand. In the note to the +"Letter to the Writer of the Occasional Paper" was included the heads of +a paper which Swift suggested, found by Sir H. Craik. The present +"Answer" may serve as further evidence of Sir H. Craik's suggestion that +Swift may have assisted Pulteney and Bolingbroke on more than one +occasion. + +The present text is that of the 1768 quarto edition. [T. S.] + +[217] "Gasping," 1768; "grasping," Nichols, 1801. [T. S.] + +[218] + + "For neither man nor angel can discern + Hypocrisy--the only evil that walks + Invisible, except to God alone, + By His permissive will, through heaven and earth, + And oft, though Wisdom wake, Suspicion sleeps + At Wisdom's gate, and to Simplicity + Resigns her charge, while Goodness thinks no ill + Where no ill seems."-- + + _Paradise Lost_, Book III., 682-689. [T. S.] + + + +CHISWICK PRESS: CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO. + +TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, LONDON. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, +D.D., Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + +***** This file should be named 18250-8.txt or 18250-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/2/5/18250/ + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + diff --git a/18250-8.zip b/18250-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0649196 --- /dev/null +++ b/18250-8.zip diff --git a/18250-h.zip b/18250-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..04bdbd5 --- /dev/null +++ b/18250-h.zip diff --git a/18250-h/18250-h.htm b/18250-h/18250-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..388f5bf --- /dev/null +++ b/18250-h/18250-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,14431 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, Volume VII., + Edited by Temple Scott + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + div.trans-note {border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; + margin: 3em 15%; padding: 1em; text-align: center;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + visibility: hidden; + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + + .tdright { text-align: right;} + .bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + .bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + .br {border-right: solid 2px;} + .bbox {border: solid 2px;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + + .author {text-align: right; margin-right: 10%;} + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., +Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Vol. VII + Historical and Political Tracts--Irish + +Author: Jonathan Swift + +Editor: Temple Scott + +Release Date: April 24, 2006 [EBook #18250] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="trans-note"> + Transcriber's Note: This book is a compilation of previously published works and contains +many inconsistencies. + </div> + + +<h2>THE PROSE WORKS</h2> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h1>JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.</h1> + +<h4>EDITED BY</h4> + +<h3>TEMPLE SCOTT.</h3> + +<h3>VOL. VII</h3> + +<h4>HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS—IRISH</h4> + +<p class='center'><small>LONDON: GEORGE BELL AND SONS<br /> +PORTUGAL ST. LINCOLN'S INN, W.C.<br /> +CAMBRIDGE: DEIGHTON, BELL & CO.<br /> +NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO.<br /> +BOMBAY: A. H. WHEELER & CO.<br /> +1905</small></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><br /><br /></p> + +<p class='center'><i>In 12 volumes, 5s. each.</i></p> + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="3" width="80%" cellspacing="3" summary="PROSE WORKS OF SWIFT"> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. I.</td><td align='left'>A TALE OF A TUB <span class="smcap">and other Early Works.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'>Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>. With a biographical introduction by</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">W. E. H. Lecky, M.P.</span> With Portrait and Facsimiles.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. II.</td><td align='left'>THE JOURNAL TO STELLA. Edited by <span class="smcap">Frederick</span></td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Ryland, M.A.</span> With two Portraits of Stella and a Facsimile of</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'>one of the Letters.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr valign='top'><td align='right'>VOLS. III.& IV.</td><td align='left'>WRITINGS ON RELIGION AND THE CHURCH.</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'>Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>. With Portraits and Facsimiles of Title-pages.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right' valign='top'>VOL. V.</td><td align='left'>HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS—ENGLISH.</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'>Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>. With Portrait and Facsimiles of Title-pages.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. VI.</td><td align='left'>THE DRAPIER'S LETTERS. Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td> With Portrait, Reproductions of Wood's Coinage,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>and Facsimiles of Title-pages.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. VII.</td><td align='left'>HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS—IRISH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>. With Portrait and Facsimiles of Title-pages.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right' valign='top'>VOL. VIII.</td><td align='left'>GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Edited by <span class="smcap">G. Ravenscroft Dennis.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>With Portrait, Maps and Facsimiles.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. IX.</td><td align='left'>CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE "EXAMINER,"</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td align='left'>"TATLER," "SPECTATOR," &c. Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>With Portrait.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. X.</td><td align='left'>HISTORICAL WRITINGS. Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>With Portrait.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>VOL. XI.</td><td align='left'>LITERARY ESSAYS. Edited by <span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>With Portrait. [<i>In the press.</i></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right' valign='top'>VOL. XII.</td><td align='left'>FULL BIBLIOGRAPHY AND INDEX TO COMPLETE WORKS.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>Together with an Essay on the Portraits of</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>Swift, by the <span class="smcap">Hon. Sir Frederick Falkiner, K.C.</span> With two</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>Portraits. [<i>In the press.</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>SOME PRESS OPINIONS</h2> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"An adequate edition of Swift—the whole of Swift, and nothing but +Swift—has long been one of the pressing needs of students of +English literature. Mr. Temple Scott, who is preparing the new +edition of Swift's Prose Works, has begun well, his first volume is +marked by care and knowledge. He has scrupulously collated his +texts with the first or the best early editions, and has given +various readings in the footnotes.... Mr. Temple Scott may well be +congratulated on his skill and judgment as a commentator.... He has +undoubtedly earned the gratitude of all admirers of our greatest +satirist, and all students of vigorous, masculine, and exact +English."—<i>Athenæum.</i></p> + +<p>"The volume is an agreeable one to hold and to refer to, and the +notes and apparatus are, on the whole, exact. A cheap and handy +reprint, which we can conscientiously recommend."—<i>Saturday +Review.</i></p> + +<p>"From the specimen now before us we may safely predict that Mr. +Temple Scott will easily distance both Roscoe and Scott. He +deserves the gratitude of all lovers of literature for enabling +Swift again to make his bow to the world in so satisfactory and +complete a garb."—<i>Manchester Guardian.</i></p> + +<p>"Mr. Temple Scott's introductions and notes are excellent in all +respects, and this edition of Swift is likely to be one most +acceptable to scholars."—<i>Notes and Queries.</i></p> + +<p>"The new Bohn's Library edition of the prose works of Jonathan +Swift is a venture which proves itself the more welcome as each +instalment is issued.... This edition is likely long to remain the +standard edition."—<i>Literary World.</i></p> + +<p>"'Bohn's Libraries' need no push, and the magnificent edition of +'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift,' edited by Mr. Temple Scott, is +in every respect worthy of that great collection of classics. It is +an ideal edition, edited by an ideal editor, beautifully printed, +handsomely bound, and ridiculously cheap. I have no hesitation in +saying that this edition supersedes all its forerunners."—<i>Star.</i></p> + +<p>"We have nothing but praise for the editing, annotating, printing, +and general production. Indeed, now that the set has advanced so +far, we can safely pronounce the opinion that all other editions of +Swift must give place to it, and that no serious student of the +politics of the eighteenth century can afford to be without these +volumes.... A superb edition."—<i>Irish Times.</i></p> + +<p>"Edited with exhaustive care, and produced in excellent style. This +is not only the best, it is the <i>only</i> edition of Swift."—<i>Pall +Mall Gazette.</i></p> + +<p>"There could hardly be a more acceptable addition to Bohn's +Standard Library than a new edition of Swift's Prose Works. The +text is well printed, and the volume is of convenient size. The +edition deserves to be popular, since Swift is a writer who will +always be read, while this edition will bring him within reach of a +number of new readers."—<i>Scotsman.</i></p> + +<p>"The time is now ripe for a definite edition. This, of which the +first volume lies before us, promises to fulfil all the conditions +of a scholarly and satisfying work.... The edition is a genuine +gain to English literature."—<i>Birmingham Post.</i></p> + +<p>"The publishers of Bohn's Libraries will earn the thanks of a wide +circle of readers by their undertaking to produce a popular and +collected edition of the prose works of Swift.... So far as one +may judge from a first instalment, the present edition seems to +fulfil the requirements of popularity and accuracy as well as could +be desired.... The edition promises to be one of the most valuable +and welcome items in those classic 'Libraries' which have done so +much to bring good literature, in worthy form, within the reach of +the British public."—<i>Glasgow Herald.</i></p> + +<p>"We are indebted to the proprietors of the Bohn Libraries for +various literary enterprises, but it is questionable indeed if they +have issued lately a work more acceptable, or likely to become more +popular, than 'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift.' No better +edition of it could be desired. Mr. Temple Scott is editing the +volumes with the greatest care."—<i>Belfast News Letter.</i></p> + +<p>"No more welcome reprint has appeared for some time past than the +new edition, complete and exact so far as it was possible to make +it, of Swift's 'Journal to Stella.'"—<i>Morning Post.</i></p> + +<p>"By far the most satisfactory text yet printed of the wonderful +'Journal to Stella.'"—<i>Newcastle Daily Chronicle.</i></p> + +<p>"The 'Journal to Stella' has long stood in need of editing, far +more than any other of Swift's works. It abounds in references to +persons great and small, to political and social 'occurrents,' to +ephemeral publications; and to identify and explain all these +demands an editor steeped in the history, literature, broadsides +and press news of the time of the Harley administration. Mr. +Ryland's present edition will satisfy all but the few who dream of +an ideal."—<i>Athenæum.</i></p> + +<p>"The immortal 'Journal to Stella,' one of the works most +indispensable to a knowledge of the life and literature of the +early part of the eighteenth century. We know of no shape in which +the Journal is published so convenient for perusal as this. The +notes are short and serviceable, and there is a full +index."—<i>Notes and Queries.</i></p> + +<p>"At last we have a well-printed, carefully edited text of Swift's +famous Journal in a single, handy, and cheap volume. The present +edition will, we hope, encourage many timid souls, who have been +awed by the formidable array of Scott, Sheridan, or Hawkesworth's +editions, to make the acquaintance of the most interesting, +charming, and tender journal that ever man kept for a woman's +eye."—<i>St. James's Gazette.</i></p> + +<p>"Mr. Dennis is quite justified in his boast of now first giving us +a complete and trustworthy text [of 'Gulliver's +Travels']."—<i>Manchester Guardian.</i></p> + +<p>"The number of useless reprints of Gulliver, based on Hawkesworth's +untrustworthy edition, and mostly expurgated besides, is so great +that we owe double thanks to Mr. Dennis, since he has not shirked +the trouble of collating the five earliest editions, and has given +us again at last—as far as is possible in the present case—the +complete and authentic text of the original."—<span class="smcap">Prof. Max +Förster</span> in <i>Anglia</i>.</p> + +<p>"An ideal text of 'Gulliver's Travels.'"—<i>Literary World.</i></p> + +<p>"The best and most scholarly edition of 'Gulliver's +Travels.'"—<i>University Correspondent.</i></p></div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/imgswift.jpg" alt="JONATHAN SWIFT." title="JONATHAN SWIFT." /></div> +<h4><i>Jonathan Swift</i><br />From an engraving by Andrew Miller after the painting<br />by Francis Bindon +in the Deanery of St. Patrick's Dublin.</h4> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>INTRODUCTION</h2> + + +<p>Swift took up his permanent residence in the Irish capital in 1714. The +Harley Administration had fallen never to rise again. Harley himself was +a prisoner in the Tower, and Bolingbroke a voluntary exile in France, +and an open adherent of the Pretender. Swift came to Dublin to be met by +the jeers of the populace, the suspicion of the government officials, +and the polite indifference of his clerical colleagues. He had time +enough now in which to reflect and employ his brain powers. For several +years he kept himself altogether to his duties as Dean of the Cathedral +of St. Patrick's, only venturing his pen in letters to dear friends in +England—to Pope, Atterbury, Lady Howard. His private relations with +Miss Hester Vanhomrigh came to a climax, also, during this period, and +his peculiar intimacy with "Stella" Johnson took the definite shape in +which we now know it.</p> + +<p>He found himself in debt to his predecessor, Sterne, for a large and +comfortless house and for the cost of his own installation into his +office. The money he was to have received (£1,000) to defray these +expenses, from the last administration, was now, on its fall, kept back +from him. Swift had these encumbrances to pay off and he had his Chapter +to see to. He did both in characteristic fashion. By dint of almost +penurious saving he accomplished the former and the latter he managed +autocratically and with good sense. His connection with Oxford and +Bolingbroke had been of too intimate a nature for those in power to +ignore him. Indeed,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_x" id="Page_x">[Pg x]</a></span> his own letters to Knightley Chetwode<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> show us +that he was in great fear of arrest. But there is now no doubt that the +treasonable relations between Harley and St. John and the Pretender were +a great surprise to Swift when they were discovered. He himself had +always been an ardent supporter of the Protestant succession, and his +writings during his later period in Ireland constantly emphasize this +attitude of his—almost too much so.</p> + +<p>The condition of Ireland as Swift found it in 1714, and as he had known +of it even before that time, was of a kind to rouse a temper like his to +quick and indignant expression. Even as early as the spring of 1716 we +find him unable to restrain himself, and in his letter to Atterbury of +April 18th we catch the spirit which, four years later, showed itself in +"The Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures" and the +"Drapier's Letters," and culminated in 1729 in the terrible "Modest +Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen +to their Parents." To Atterbury he wrote:</p> + +<p>"I congratulate with England for joining with us here in the fellowship +of slavery. It is not so terrible a thing as you imagine: we have long +lived under it: and whenever you are disposed to know how to behave +yourself in your new condition, you need go no further than me for a +director. But, because we are resolved to go beyond you, we have +transmitted a bill to England, to be returned here, giving the +Government and six of the Council power for three years to imprison whom +they please for three months, without any trial or examination: and I +expect to be among the first of those upon whom this law will be +executed."</p> + +<p>Writing to Archdeacon Walls (May 5th, 1715)<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> of the people in power, +he said:</p> + +<p>"They shall be deceived as far as my power reaches, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xi" id="Page_xi">[Pg xi]</a></span>shall not find me altogether so great a cully as they would willingly +make me."</p> + +<p>At that time England was beginning to initiate a new method for what it +called the proper government of Ireland. Hitherto it had tried the plan +of setting one party in the country against another; but now a new party +was called into being, known as the "English party." This party had +nothing to do with the Irish national spirit, and any man, no matter how +capable, who held by such a national spirit, was to be set aside. There +was to be no Irish party or parties as such—there was to be only the +English party governing Ireland in the interests of England. It was the +beginning of a government which led to the appointment of such a man as +Primate Boulter, who simply ruled Ireland behind the Lord Lieutenant +(who was but a figurehead) for and on behalf of the King of England's +advisers. Irish institutions, Irish ideas, Irish traditions, the Irish +Church, Irish schools, Irish language and literature, Irish trade, +manufactures, commerce, agriculture—all were to be subordinated to +England's needs and England's demands. At any cost almost, these were to +be made subservient to the interests of England. So well was this plan +carried out, that Ireland found itself being governed by a small English +clique and its Houses of Parliament a mere tool in the clique's hands. +The Parliament no longer represented the national will, since it did +really nothing but ratify what the English party asked for, or what the +King's ministers in England instructed should be made law.</p> + +<p>Irish manufactures were ruined by legislation; the commerce of Ireland +was destroyed by the same means; her schools became practically +penitentiaries to the Catholic children, who were compelled to receive a +Protestant instruction; her agriculture was degraded to the degree that +cattle could not be exported nor the wool sold or shipped from her own +ports to other countries; her towns swarmed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xii" id="Page_xii">[Pg xii]</a></span> with beggars and thieves, +forced there by the desolation which prevailed in the country districts, +where people starved by the wayside, and where those who lived barely +kept body and soul together to pay the rents of the absentee landlords.</p> + +<p>Swift has himself, in the pamphlets printed in the present volume, given +a fairly accurate and no exaggerated account of the miserable condition +of his country at this time; and his writings are amply corroborated by +other men who might be considered less passionate and more temperate.</p> + +<p>The people had become degraded through the evil influence of a +contemptuous and spendthrift landlord class, who considered the tenant +in no other light than as a rent-paying creature. As Roman Catholics +they found themselves the social inferiors of the ruling Protestant +class—the laws had placed them in that invidious position. They were +practically without any defence. They were ignorant, poor, and +half-starved. Thriftless, like their landlords, they ate up in the +autumn what harvests they gathered, and begged for their winter's +support. Adultery and incest were common and bred a body of lawless +creatures, who herded together like wild beasts and became dangerous +pests.</p> + +<p>Swift knew all this. He had time, between the years 1714 and 1720, to +find it out, even if he had not known of it before. But the condition +was getting worse, and his heart filled, as he told Pope in 1728, with a +"perfect rage and resentment" at "the mortifying sight of slavery, +folly, and baseness about me, among which I am forced to live."</p> + +<p>He commenced what might be called a campaign of attack in 1720, with the +publication of his tract entitled, "A Modest Proposal for the Universal +Use of Irish Manufactures." As has been pointed out in the notes +prefixed to the pamphlets in the present volume, England had, +apparently, gone to work systematically to ruin Irish manufactures. They +seemed to threaten ruin to English industries; at least so the people in +England thought. The pernicious legisla<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xiii" id="Page_xiii">[Pg xiii]</a></span>tion began in the reign of +Charles II. and continued in that of William III. The Irish manufacturer +was not permitted to export his products and found a precarious +livelihood in a contraband trade. Swift's "Proposal" is one of +retaliation. Since England will not allow Ireland to send out her goods, +let the people of Ireland use them, and let them join together and +determine to use nothing from England. Everything that came from England +should be burned, except the people and the coal. If England had the +right to prevent the exportation of the goods made in Ireland, she had +not the right to prevent the people of Ireland from choosing what they +should wear. The temper of the pamphlet was mild in the extreme; but the +governing officials saw in it dangerous symptoms. The pamphlet was +stigmatized as libellous and seditious, and the writer as attempting to +disunite the two nations. The printer was brought to trial, and the +pamphlet obtained a tremendous circulation. Although the jury acquitted +the printer, Chief Justice Whitshed, who had, as Swift puts it, "so +quick an understanding, that he resolved, if possible, to outdo his +orders," sent the jury back nine times to reconsider their verdict. He +even declared solemnly that the author's design was to bring in the +Pretender. This cry of bringing in the Pretender was raised on any and +every occasion, and has been well ridiculed by Swift in his "Examination +of Certain Abuses and Corruptions in the City of Dublin." The end of +Whitshed's persecution could have been foretold—it fizzled out in a +<i>nolle prosequi</i>.</p> + +<p>Following on this interesting commencement came the lengthened agitation +against Wood's Halfpence to which we owe the remarkable series of +writings known now as the "Drapier's Letters." These are fully discussed +in the volume preceding this. But Swift found other channels in which to +continue rousing the spirit of the people, and refreshing it to further +effort. The mania for speculation which Law's schemes had given birth +to, reached poor Ireland<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xiv" id="Page_xiv">[Pg xiv]</a></span> also. People thought there might be found a +scheme on similar lines by which Ireland might move to prosperity. A +Bank project was initiated for the purpose of assisting small tradesmen. +But a scheme that in itself would have been excellent in a prosperous +society, could only end in failure in such a community as peopled +Ireland. Swift felt this and opposed the plan in his satirical tract, +"The Swearer's Bank." The tract sufficed, for no more was heard of the +National Bank after the House of Commons rejected it.</p> + +<p>The thieves and "roughs" who infested Dublin came in next for Swift's +attention. In characteristic fashion he seized the occasion of the +arrest and execution of one of their leaders to publish a pretended +"Last Speech and Dying Confession," in which he threatened exposure and +arrest to the remainder of the gang if they did not make themselves +scarce. The threat had its effect, and the city found itself +considerably safer as a consequence.</p> + +<p>How Swift pounded out his "rage and resentment" against English +misgovernment, may be further read in the "Story of the Injured Lady," +and in the "Answer" to that story. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who +tells her lover, England, of her attractions, and upbraids him on his +conduct towards her. In the "Answer" Swift tells the Lady what she ought +to do, and hardly minces matters. Let her show the right spirit, he says +to her, and she will find there are many gentlemen who will support her +and champion her cause.</p> + +<p>Then came the plain, pathetic, and truthful recital of the "Short View +of the State of Ireland"—a pamphlet of but a few pages and yet terribly +effective. As an historical document it takes rank with the experiences +of the clergymen, Skelton and Jackson, as well as the more dispassionate +writings of contemporary historians. It is frequently cited by Lecky in +his "History of Ireland."</p> + +<p>What Swift had so far left undone, either from political reasons or from +motives of personal restraint, he completed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xv" id="Page_xv">[Pg xv]</a></span> in what may, without +exaggeration, be called his satirical masterpiece—the "Modest Proposal +for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen to their +Parents." Nothing comparable to this piece of writing is to be found in +any literature; while the mere fact that it came into being must stand +as one of the deadliest indictments against England's misrule. +Governments and rulers have been satirized time and again, but no +similar condition of things has existed with a Swift living at the time, +to observe and comment on them. The tract itself must be read with a +knowledge of the Irish conditions then prevailing; its temper is so calm +and restrained that a reader unacquainted with the conditions might be +misled and think that the author of "Gulliver's Travels" was indulging +himself in one of his grim jokes. That it was not a joke its readers at +the time well knew, and many of them also knew how great was the +indignation which raged in Swift's heart to stir him to so unprecedented +an expression of contempt. He had, as he himself said, raged and stormed +only to find himself stupefied. In the "Modest Proposal" he changed his +tune and</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">... with raillery to nettle,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Set your thoughts upon their mettle.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Swift has been censured for the cold-blooded cynicism of this piece of +writing, but these censurers have entirely misunderstood both his motive +and his meaning. We wonder how any one could take seriously a proposal +for breeding children for food purposes, and our wonder grows in +reflecting on an inability to see through the thin veil of satire which +barely hid an impeachment of a ruling nation by the mere statement of +the proposal itself. That a Frenchman should so misunderstand it (as a +Frenchman did) may not surprise us, but that any Englishman should so +take it argues an utter absence of humour and a total ignorance of Irish +conditions at the time the tract was written. But history has<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xvi" id="Page_xvi">[Pg xvi]</a></span> justified +Swift, and it is to his writings, rather than to the many works written +by more commonplace observers, that we now turn for the true story of +Ireland's wrongs, and the real sources of her continued attitude of +hostility towards England's government of her.</p> + +<p>It has been well noted by one of Swift's biographers, that for a +thousand readers which the "Modest Proposal" has found, there is perhaps +only one who is acquainted with Swift's "Answer to the Craftsman." It +may be that the title is misleading or uninviting; but there is no +question that this tract may well stand by the side of the "Modest +Proposal," both for force of argument and pungency of satire. In its way +and within the limits of its more restricted argument it is one of the +ablest pieces of writing Swift has given us on behalf of Irish liberty.</p> + +<p>The title of Irish patriot which Swift obtained was not sought for by +him. It was given him mainly for the part he played, and for the success +he achieved in the Wood's patent agitation. He was acclaimed the +champion of the people, because he had stopped the foolish manœuvres +of the Walpole Administration. So to label him, however, would be to do +him an injustice. In truth, he would have championed the cause of +liberty and justice in any country in which he lived, had he found +liberty and justice wanting there. The matter of the copper coinage +patent was but a peg for him to hang arguments which applied almost +everywhere. It was not to the particular arguments but to the spirit +which gave them life that we must look for the true value of Swift's +work. And that spirit—honest, brave, strong for the right—is even more +abundantly displayed in the writings we have just considered. They +witness to his championship of liberty and justice, to his impeachment +of selfish office-holders and a short-sighted policy. They gave him his +position as the chief among the citizens of Dublin to whom he spoke as +counsel and adviser. They proclaim him as the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xvii" id="Page_xvii">[Pg xvii]</a></span> friend of the common +people, to whom he was more than the Dean of St. Patrick's. He may have +begun his work impelled by a hatred for Whiggish principles; but he +undoubtedly accomplished it in the spirit of a broad-minded and +far-seeing statesman. The pressing needs of Ireland were too urgent and +crying for him to permit his personal dislike of the Irish natives to +divert him from his humanitarian efforts. If he hated the beggar he was +ready with his charity. The times in which he lived were not times in +which, as he told the freemen of Dublin, "to expect such an exalted +degree of virtue from mortal men." He was speaking to them of the +impossibility of office-holders being independent of the government +under which they held their offices. "Blazing stars," he said, "are much +more frequently seen than such heroical virtues." As the Irish people +were governed by such men he advised them strongly to choose a +parliamentary representative from among themselves. He insisted on the +value of their collected voice, their unanimity of effort, a +consciousness of their understanding of what they wished to bring about. +"Be independent" is the text of all his writings to the people of +Ireland. It is idle to appeal to England's clemency or England's +justice. It is vain to evolve social schemes and Utopian dreams. The +remedy lay in their own hands, if the people only realized it.</p> + +<p>"Violent zeal for truth," Swift noted in one of his "Thoughts on +Religion," "has a hundred to one odds to be either petulancy, ambition, +or pride." Examining Swift's writings on behalf of Ireland by the +criterion provided in this statement, we must acquit him entirely of +misusing any of these qualities. If he were bitter or scornful, he was +certainly not petulant. No one has written with more justice or +coolness; the temper is hot but it is the heat of a conscious and +collected indignation. If he wrote or spoke in a manner somewhat +overbearing, it was not because of ambition, since he was now long past +his youth and his mind<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xviii" id="Page_xviii">[Pg xviii]</a></span> had become settled in a fairly complacent +acceptance of his position. If he had pride, and he undoubtedly had, it +was nowhere obtruded for personal aggrandizement, but rather by way of +emphasizing the dignity of citizenship, and the value of self-respect. +Assuredly, in these Irish tracts, Swift was no violent zealot for truth. +Indeed, it is a high compliment to pay him, to say that we wonder he +restrained himself as he did.</p> + +<p>Swift, however, had his weakness also, and it lay, as weaknesses +generally lie, very close to his strength. Swift's fault as a thinker +was the outcome of his intellectuality—he was too purely intellectual. +He set little store on the emotional side of human nature; his appeal +was always to the reason. He hated cant, and any expression of emotion +appealed to him as cant. He could not bear to be seen saying his +prayers; his acts of charity were surreptitious and given in secret with +an affectation of cynicism, so that they might veil the motive which +impelled them. It may have been pride or a dislike to be considered +sentimental; but his attitude owed its spring to a genuine faith in his +own thought. If Swift had one pride more than another, it lay in a +consciousness of his own superiority over his fellow-mortals. It was the +pride of intellect and a belief that man showed himself best by +following the judgements of the reason. His disgust with people was born +of their unreasonable selfishness, their instinctive greed and rapacity, +their blind stupidity, all which resulted for them in so much injustice. +Had they been reasonable, he would have argued, they would have been +better and happier. The sentiments and the passions were impulsive, and +therefore unreasonable. Swift seemed to have no faith in their elevation +to a higher intellectual plane, and yet he often roused them by his very +appeals to reason. His eminently successful "Drapier's Letters" are a +case in point. Yet we question if Swift were not himself surprised at +their effect. He knew his power later<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xix" id="Page_xix">[Pg xix]</a></span> when he threatened the Archbishop +of Armagh, but he, no doubt, credited the result to his own arguments, +and not to the passions he had aroused. His sense of justice was the +strongest, and it was through that sense that the condition of the +people of Ireland appealed to him. He forgot, or he did not see that the +very passion in himself was of prime importance, since it was really to +it that his own efforts were due. The fine flower of imagination never +blossomed in Swift. He was neither prophet nor poet; but he was a great +leader, a splendid captain, a logical statesman. It is to this lack of +imagination that we must look for the real root of his cynical humour +and satirical temper. A more imaginative man than Swift with much less +power would have better appreciated the weaknesses of humanity and made +allowances for them. He would never have held them up to ridicule and +contempt, but would rather have laid stress on those instincts of honour +and nobility which the most ignorant and least reasoning possess in some +degree.</p> + +<p>Looking back on the work Swift did, and comparing its effect at the time +with the current esteem in which he is held in the present day, we shall +find that his reputation has altogether changed. In his own day, and +especially during his life in Ireland, his work was special, and brought +him a special repute. He was a party's advocate and the people's friend. +His literary output, distinguished though it was, was of secondary +importance compared with the purpose for which it was accomplished. He +was the friend of Harley, the champion of the Protestant Church, the +Irish patriot, the enemy of Whiggism, the opponent of Nonconformity. +To-day all these phrases mean little or nothing to those who know of +Swift as the author of "A Tale of a Tub," and "Gulliver's Travels." +Swift is now accepted as a great satirist, and admired for the wonderful +knowledge he shows of the failings and weaknesses of human nature. He is +admired but never loved. The particular occasions in his life-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xx" id="Page_xx">[Pg xx]</a></span>time +which urged him to rouse passions mean nothing to us; they have lost the +aroma of his just indignation and are become historical events. What is +left of him for us is the result of cold analysis and almost heartless +contempt. How different would it have been had Swift allied his great +gift as a writer to such a spirit as breathes in the Sermon on the +Mount! But to wish this is perhaps as foolish as to expect dates to grow +on thistles. We must accept what is given us, and see that we, at any +rate, steer clear of the dangers mapped out for us by the travellers of +the past.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The editor takes this opportunity to thank Mr. G. Ravenscroft Dennis and +Mr. W. Spencer Jackson for much valuable assistance in the reading of +proofs and the collation of texts.</p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Temple Scott</span>.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">New York</span>,</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>May</i> 18, 1905.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xxi" id="Page_xxi">[Pg xxi]</a></span></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ix" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" width="85%" cellspacing="0" summary="TABLE OF CONTENTS"> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Letter to a Member of Parliament, in Ireland, upon the choosing a New Speaker there</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_1'><b>1</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufacture</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_11'><b>11</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Essay on English Bubbles. By Thomas Hope, Esq.</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_31'><b>31</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Swearer's Bank</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_37'><b>37</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Letter to the King at Arms</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_47'><b>47</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Last Speech and Dying Words of Ebenezer Elliston</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_55'><b>55</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Truth of Some Maxims in State and Government, examined with Reference to Ireland</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_63'><b>63</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Blunders, Deficiencies, Distresses, and Misfortunes Of Quilca</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_73'><b>73</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Short View of the State of Ireland</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_79'><b>79</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Story of the Injured Lady. Written by Herself</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_93'><b>93</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Answer to the Injured Lady</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_104'><b>104</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Answer to a Paper called "A Memorial of the Poor Inhabitants, Tradesmen, and Labourers of the Kingdom of Ireland"</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_107'><b>107</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Answer to Several Letters from Unknown Persons</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_117'><b>117</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Answer to Several Letters sent me from Unknown Hands</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_127'><b>127</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Letter to the Archbishop of Dublin concerning the Weavers</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_135'><b>135</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Observations occasioned by reading a Paper entitled "The Case of the Woollen Manufactures of Dublin," etc.</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_145'><b>145</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Present Miserable State of Ireland</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_151'><b>151</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Substance of what was said by the Dean of St. Patrick's</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">to the Lord Mayor and some of the Aldermen</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">when His Lordship came to Present the said Dean</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">with his Freedom in a Gold Box</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_167'><b>167</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Advertisement by Dr. Swift in his Defence Against Joshua, Lord Allen</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_173'><b>173</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xxii" id="Page_xxii">[Pg xxii]</a></span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Letter on Mr. M'Culla's Project about Halfpence, and a new one Proposed</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_177'><b>177</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Proposal that all the Ladies and Women of Ireland</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">should appear constantly in Irish Manufactures</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_191'><b>191</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Poor People from being a Burthen to their Parents</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">or the Country, and for making them beneficial to the Public</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_201'><b>201</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Answer to the Craftsman</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_217'><b>217</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Vindication of his Excellency John, Lord Carteret</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_225'><b>225</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Proposal for An Act of Parliament to Pay off the</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Debt of the Nation without Taxing the Subject</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_251'><b>251</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Case submitted by Dean Swift to Mr. Lindsay,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Counsellor at Law</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_259'><b>259</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Examination of Certain Abuses, Corruptions, and</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Enormities in the City of Dublin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_261'><b>261</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Serious and Useful Scheme to make an Hospital for Incurables</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_283'><b>283</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">City of Dublin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_305'><b>305</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Advice to the Freemen of the City of Dublin in the</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Choice of a Member to represent them in Parliament</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_309'><b>309</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Some Considerations humbly offered to the Lord</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Mayor, the Court of Aldermen and Common-Council</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">of the City of Dublin in the Choice of a Recorder</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_317'><b>317</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Proposal for giving Badges to the Beggars in all the</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Parishes of Dublin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_321'><b>321</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Considerations about Maintaining the Poor</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_337'><b>337</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">On Barbarous Denominations in Ireland</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_343'><b>343</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Speech delivered on the Lowering of the Coin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_351'><b>351</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Irish Eloquence</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_361'><b>361</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">A Dialogue in Hibernian Style</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_362'><b>362</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">To the Provost and Senior Fellows of Trinity</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">College, Dublin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_364'><b>364</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">To the Right Worshipful the Mayor, Aldermen,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Sheriffs, and Common-Council of the City of Cork</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_366'><b>366</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">To the Honourable the Society of the Governor and</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Assistants in London, for the New Plantation in Ulster</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_368'><b>368</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Certificate to a Discarded Servant</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_369'><b>369</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xxiii" id="Page_xxiii">[Pg xxiii]</a></span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">An Exhortation addressed to the Sub-Dean and Chapter</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">of St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_370'><b>370</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Appendix:</span></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;" class="smcap">A Letter to the Writer of the Occasional Paper</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_375'><b>375</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;" class="smcap">An Account of the Court and Empire of Japan</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_382'><b>382</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em;" class="smcap">The Answer of the Right Hon. William Pulteney,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2.5em" class="smcap">Esq., to the Right Hon. Sir Robert Walpole</span></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_392'><b>392</b></a></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class="smcap">Index</span></td><td align='left'><a href='#Page_401'><b>401</b></a></td></tr> +</table> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_xxiv" id="Page_xxiv">[Pg xxiv]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER</h3> + +<h4>TO</h4> + +<h3>A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND,</h3> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<h3>UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE.</h3> +<h5><span class="smcap">Written in the Year 1708.</span></h5> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p> +<h2>NOTE.</h2> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>In the note prefixed to the reprint of Swift's "Letter concerning +the Sacramental Test," the circumstances under which this "Letter +to a Member of Parliament in Ireland" was written, are explained +(see vol. iv., pp. 3-4, of present edition). The Godolphin ministry +was anxious to repeal the Test Act in Ireland, as a concession to +the Presbyterians who had made themselves prominent by their +expressions of loyalty to William and the Protestant succession. In +this particular year also (1708), rumours of an invasion gave them +another opportunity to send in loyal addresses. In reality, +however, the endeavour to try the repeal in Ireland, was in the +nature of a test, and Swift ridiculed the attempt as being like to +"that of a discreet physician, who first gives a new medicine to a +dog, before he prescribes it to a human creature." It seems that +Swift had been consulted by Somers on the question of the repeal, +and had given his opinion very frankly. The letter to Archbishop +King, revealing this, contains some bitter remarks about "a certain +lawyer of Ireland." The lawyer was Speaker Brodrick, afterwards +Lord Midleton, who was enthusiastic for the repeal. The present +letter gives a very clear idea of what Swift thought should be a +Speaker's duties both as the chairman of the House and as related +to this particular measure of the Test.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present reprint is based on the original manuscript +in Swift's handwriting; but as this was found to be somewhat +illegible, it has been collated with the text given in vol. viii. +of the quarto edition of Swift's collected works, published in +1765.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>A LETTER</h3> +<h4>TO</h4> +<h3>A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND,</h3> +<h3>UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir,</span></p> + +<p>You may easily believe I am not at all surprised at what you tell me, +since it is but a confirmation of my own conjecture that I sent you last +week, and made you my reproaches upon it at a venture. It looks +exceeding strange, yet, I believe it to be a great truth, that, in order +to carry a point in your house, the two following circumstances are of +great advantage; first, to have an ill cause; and, secondly, to be a +minority. For both these circumstances are extremely apt to unite men, +to make them assiduous in their attendance, watchful of opportunities, +zealous for gaining over proselytes, and often successful; which is not +to be wondered at, when favour and interest are on the side of their +opinion. Whereas, on the contrary, a majority with a good cause are +negligent and supine. They think it sufficient to declare themselves +upon occasion in favour of their party, but, sailing against the tide of +favour and preferment, they are easily scattered and driven back. In +short, they want a common principle to cement, and motive to spirit +them; For the bare acting upon a principle from the dictates of a good +conscience, or prospect of serving the public, will not go very far +under the present dispositions of mankind. This was amply verified last +sessions of Parliament, upon occasion of the money bill, the merits of +which I shall not pretend to examine. 'Tis enough that, upon the first +news of its transmission hither, in the form it afterwards appeared, the +members, upon discourse with their friends, seemed unanimous against it, +I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> mean those of both parties, except a few, who were looked upon as +persons ready to go any lengths prescribed them by the court. Yet with +only a week's canvassing among a very few hands, the bill passed after a +full debate, by a very great majority; yet, I believe, you will hardly +attempt persuading me, or anybody else, that one man in ten, of those +who changed their language, were moved by reasons any way affecting the +merits of the cause, but merely through hope, fear, indolence, or good +manners. Nay, I have been assured from good hands, that there was still +a number sufficient to make a majority against the bill, if they had not +apprehended the other side to be secure, and therefore thought it +imprudence, by declaring themselves, to disoblige the government to no +purpose.</p> + +<p>Reflecting upon this and forty other passages, in the several Houses of +Commons since the Revolution, makes me apt to think there is nothing a +chief governor can be commanded to attempt here wherein he may not +succeed, with a very competent share of address, and with such +assistance as he will always find ready at his devotion. And therefore I +repeat what I said at first, that I am not at all surprised at what you +tell me. For, if there had been the least spark of public spirit left, +those who wished well to their country and its constitution in church +and state, should, upon the first news of the late Speaker's promotion, +(and you and I know it might have been done a great deal sooner) have +immediately gone together, and consulted about the fittest person to +succeed him. But, by all I can comprehend, you have been so far from +proceeding thus, that it hardly ever came into any of your heads. And +the reason you give is the worst in the world: That none offered +themselves, and you knew not whom to pitch upon. It seems, however, the +other party was more resolved, or at least not so modest: For you say +your vote is engaged against your opinion, and several gentlemen in my +neighbourhood tell me the same story of themselves; this, I confess, is +of an unusual strain, and a good many steps below any condescensions a +court will, I hope, ever require from you. I shall not trouble myself to +inquire who is the person for whom you and others are engaged, or +whether there be more candidates from that side, than one. You tell me +nothing of either, and I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> never thought it worth the question to anybody +else. But, in so weighty an affair, and against your judgment, I cannot +look upon you as irrevocably determined. Therefore I desire you will +give me leave to reason with you a little upon the subject, lest your +compliance, or inadvertency, should put you upon what you may have cause +to repent as long as you live.</p> + +<p>You know very well, the great business of the high-flying Whigs, at this +juncture, is to endeavour a repeal of the test clause. You know likewise +that the moderate men, both of High and Low Church, profess to be wholly +averse from this design, as thinking it beneath the policy of common +gardeners to cut down the only hedge that shelters from the north.<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> +Now, I will put the case; If the person to whom you have promised your +vote be one of whom you have the least apprehension that he will promote +or assent to the repealing of that clause, whether it be decent or +proper, he should be the mouth of an assembly, whereof a very great +majority pretend to abhor his opinion. Can a body, whose mouth and heart +must go so contrary ways, ever act with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> +sincerity, or hardly with consistence? Such a man is no proper vehicle +to retain or convey the sense of the House, which, in so many points of +the greatest moment, will be directly contrary to his; 'tis full as +absurd, as to prefer a man to a bishopric who denies revealed religion. +But it may possibly be a great deal worse. What if the person you design +to vote into that important post, should not only be a declared enemy of +the sacramental test, but should prove to be a solicitor, an encourager, +or even a penner of addresses to complain of it? Do you think it so +indifferent a thing, that a promise of course, the effect of compliance, +importunity, shame of refusing, or any the like motive, shall oblige you +past the power of retracting?</p> + +<p>Perhaps you will tell me, as some have already had the weakness to do, +that it is of little importance to either party to have a Speaker of +their side, his business being only to take the sense of the House and +report it, that you often, at committees, put an able speaker into the +chair on purpose to prevent him from stopping a bill. Why, if it were no +more than this, I believe I should hardly choose, even among my footmen, +such a one to deliver a message, whose interest and opinions led him to +wish it might miscarry. But I remember to have heard old Colonel +Birch<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> of Herefordshire say, that "he was a very sorry Speaker, whose +single vote was not better than fifty common ones." I am <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span>sure it is +reckoned in England the first great test of the prevalency of either +party in the House. Sir Thomas Littleton<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a> thought, that a House of +Commons with a stinking breath (supposing the Speaker to be the mouth) +would go near to infect everything within the walls, and a great deal +without. It is the smallest part of an able Speaker's business, what he +performs in the House, at least if he be in with the court, when it is +hard to say how many converts may be made in a circle of dinners, or +private cabals. And you and I can easily call to mind a gentleman in +that station, in England, who, by his own arts and personal credit, was +able to draw over a majority, and change the whole power of a prevailing +side in a nice juncture of affairs, and made a Parliament expire in one +party who had lived in another.</p> + +<p>I am far from an inclination to multiply party causes, but surely the +best of us can with very ill grace make that an objection, who have not +been so nice in matters of much less importance. Yet I have heard some +persons of both sides gravely deliver themselves in this manner; "Why +should we make the choosing a Speaker a party cause? Let us fix upon one +who is well versed in the practices and methods of parliament." And I +believe there are too many who would talk at the same rate, if the +question were not only about abolishing the sacramental test, but the +sacrament itself.</p> + +<p>But suppose the principles of the most artful Speaker could have no +influence either to obtain or obstruct any point in Parliament, who can +answer what effects such a choice may produce without doors? 'Tis +obvious how small a matter serves to raise the spirits and hopes of the +Dissenters and their high-flying advocates, what lengths they run, what +conclusions they form, and what hopes they entertain. Do they hear of a +new friend in office? That <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>is encouragement enough to practise the +city, against the opinion of a majority into an address to the Queen for +repealing the sacramental test; or issue out their orders to the next +fanatic parson to furbish up his old sermons, and preach and print new +ones directly against Episcopacy. I would lay a good wager, that, if the +choice of a new Speaker succeeds exactly to their liking, we shall see +it soon followed by many new attempts, either in the form of pamphlet, +sermon, or address, to the same, or perhaps more dangerous purposes.</p> + +<p>Supposing the Speaker's office to be only an employment of profit and +honour, and a step to a better; since it is in your own gift, will you +not choose to bestow it upon some person whose principles the majority +of you pretends to approve, if it were only to be sure of a worthy man +hereafter in a high station, on the bench or at the bar?</p> + +<p>I confess, if it were a thing possible to be compassed, it would seem +most reasonable to fill the chair with some person who would be entirely +devoted to neither party: But, since there are so few of that character, +and those either unqualified or unfriended, I cannot see how a majority +will answer it to their reputation, to be so ill provided of able +persons, that they must have recourse for a leader to their adversaries, +a proceeding of which I never met with above one example, and even that +succeeded but ill, though it was recommended by an oracle, which advised +some city in Greece to beg a general from their enemies, who, in scorn, +sent them either a fiddler or a poet, I have forgot which; but so much I +remember, that his conduct was such, as they soon grew weary of him.</p> + +<p>You pretend to be heartily resolved against repealing the sacramental +test, yet, at the same time, give the only great employment you have to +dispose of to a person who will take that test against his stomach (by +which word I understand many a man's conscience) who earnestly wisheth +it repealed, and will endeavour it to the utmost of his power; so that +the first action after you meet, will be a sort of contravention to that +test: And will anybody go further than your practice to judge of your +principles?</p> + +<p>And now I am upon this subject, I cannot conclude without saying +something to a very popular argument against<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> that sacramental test, +which may be apt to shake many of those who would otherwise wish well +enough to it. They say it was a new hardship put upon the Dissenters, +without any provocation; and, it is plain, could be no way necessary, +because we had peaceably lived together so long without it. They add +some other circumstances of the arts by which it was obtained, and the +person by whom it was inserted. Surely such people do not consider that +the penal laws against Dissenters were made wholly ineffectual by the +connivance and mercy of the government, so that all employments of the +state lay as open to them as they did to the best and most legal +subjects. And what progress they would have made by the advantages of a +late conjecture, is obvious to imagine; which I take to be a full answer +to that objection.</p> + +<p>I remember, upon the transmission of that bill with the test clause +inserted, the Dissenters and their partisans, among other topics, spoke +much of the good effects produced by the lenity of the government, that +the Presbyterians were grown very inconsiderable in their number and +quality, and would daily come into the church, if we did not fright them +from it by new severities. When the act was passed, they presently +changed their style, and raised a clamour, through both kingdoms, of the +great numbers of considerable gentry who were laid aside, and could no +longer serve their queen and country; which hyperbolical way of +reckoning, when it came to be melted down into truth, amounted to about +fifteen country justices, most of them of the lowest size, for estate, +quality, or understanding. However, this puts me in mind of a passage +told me by a great man, though I know not whether it be anywhere +recorded. That a complaint was made to the king and council in Sweden, +of a prodigious swarm of Scots, who, under the condition of pedlars, +infested that kingdom to such a degree, as, if not suddenly prevented, +might in time prove dangerous to the state, by joining with any +discontented party. Meanwhile the Scots, by their agents, placed a good +sum of money to engage the offices of the prime minister in their +behalf; who, in order to their defence, told the council, he was assured +they were but a few inconsiderable people, that lived honestly and +poorly, and were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> not of any consequence. Their enemies offered to prove +the contrary, whereupon an order was made to take their number, which +was found to amount, as I remember, to about thirty thousand. The affair +was again brought before the council, and great reproaches made the +first minister, for his ill computation; who, presently took the other +handle, said, he had reason to believe the number yet greater than what +was returned; and then gravely offered to the king's consideration, +whether it were safe to render desperate so great a body of able men, +who had little to lose, and whom any hard treatment would only serve to +unite into a power capable of disturbing, if not destroying the peace of +the kingdom. And so they were suffered to continue.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL</h3> + +<h4>FOR THE</h4> + +<h3>UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>This pamphlet constitutes the opening of a campaign against his +political enemies in England on whom Swift had, it must be +presumed, determined to take revenge. When the fall of Harley's +administration was complete and irrevocable, Swift returned to +Ireland and, for six years, he lived the simple life of the Dean of +St. Patrick's, unheard of except by a few of his more intimate +friends in England. Accustomed by years of intimacy with the +ministers of Anne's court, and by his own temperament, to act the +part of leader and adviser, Swift's compulsory silence must have +chafed and irritated him to a degree. His opportunities for +advancement had passed with the passing of Harley and Bolingbroke +from power, and he had given too ardent and enthusiastic a support +to these friends of his for Walpole to look to him for a like +service. Moreover, however strong may have been these personal +motives, Swift's detestation of Walpole's Irish policy must have +been deep and bitter, even before he began to express himself on +the matter. His sincerity cannot be doubted, even if we make an +ample allowance for a private grudge against the great English +minister. The condition of Ireland, at this time, was such as to +arouse the warmest indignation from the most indifferent and +unprejudiced—and it was a condition for which English misrule was +mainly responsible. It cannot therefore be wondered at that Swift +should be among the strenuous and persistent opponents of a policy +which spelled ruin to his country, and his patriotism must be +recognized even if we accept the existence of a personal motive.</p> + +<p>The crass stupidity which characterized England's dealings with +Ireland at this time would be hardly credible, were it not on +record in the acts passed in the reigns of Charles II. and William +III., and embodied in the resolutions of the English parliament +during Walpole's term of power. An impartial historian is forced to +the conclusion that England had determined to ruin the sister +nation. Already its social life was disreputable; the people taxed +in various ways far beyond their means; the agriculture at the +lowest state by the neglect and indifference of the landed +proprietors; and the manufactures crippled by a series of +pernicious restrictions imposed by a selfish rival.</p> + +<p>Swift, in writing this "Proposal," did not take advantage of any +special occasion, as he did later in the matter of Wood's +halfpence. His occasion must be found in the condition of the +country, in the injustice to which she was subjected, and in the +fact that the time had come when it would be wise and safe for him +to come out once more into the open.</p> + +<p>He began in his characteristic way. All the evils that the laws +against the manufactures and agriculture of Ireland brought into +existence are summarized in this "Proposal." His business is not to +attack the laws directly, but to attempt a method by which these +shall be nullified. Since the manufactures of Ireland might not be +exported for sale, let <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span>the people of Ireland wear them themselves, +and let them resolve and determine to wear them in preference to +those imported from England. If England had the right to prevent +the importation to it of Irish woollen goods, it was surely only +just that the Irish should exercise then right to wear their own +home-made clothes! The tract was a reasonable and mild statement. +Yet, such was the temper of the governing officials, that a cry was +raised against it and the writer accused of attempting to disunite +the two kingdoms. With consistent foolishness, the printer was +brought to trial, and although the jury acquitted him, yet the Lord +Chief Justice Whitshed, zealous for his employer more than for his +office, refused to accept the verdict and attempted to force the +jury to a conviction. In his letter to Pope, dated January 10th, +1720-21, Swift gives an account of this matter:</p> + +<p>"I have written in this kingdom, a discourse, to persuade the +wretched people to wear their own manufactures, instead of those +from England. This treatise soon spread very fast, being agreeable +to the sentiments of the whole nation, except those gentlemen who +had employments, or were expectants. Upon which a person in great +office here immediately took the alarm; he sent in haste for the +chief-justice, and informed him of a seditious, factious, and +virulent pamphlet, lately published, with a design of setting the +two kingdoms at variance; directing, at the same time, that the +printer should be prosecuted with the utmost rigour of the law. The +chief-justice has so quick an understanding, that he resolved, if +possible, to outdo his orders. The grand juries of the county and +city were effectually practised with, to represent the said +pamphlet with all aggravating epithets, for which they had thanks +sent them from England, and their presentments published, for +several weeks, in all the newspapers. The printer was seized, and +forced to give great bail. After his trial, the jury brought him in +not guilty, although they had been culled with the utmost industry. +The chief-justice sent them back nine times, and kept them eleven +hours, until, being perfectly tired out, they were forced to leave +the matter to the mercy of the judge, by what they call a <i>special +verdict</i>. During the trial, the chief-justice, among other +singularities, laid his hand on his breast, and protested solemnly +that the author's design was to bring in the Pretender, although +there was not a single syllable of party in the whole treatise; and +although it was known that the most eminent of those who professed +his own principles, publicly disallowed his proceedings. But the +cause being so very odious and unpopular, the trial of the verdict +was deferred from one term to another, until, upon the Duke of +Grafton's, the lord lieutenant's arrival, his grace, after mature +advice, and permission from England, was pleased to grant a <i>noli +prosequi</i>."</p> + +<p>This Chief Justice Whitshed was the same who acted as judge on +Harding's trial for printing the fourth Drapier letter. Swift never +forgot him, and took several occasions to satirize him bitterly.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is based on the Dublin edition of +1720 and collated with the texts of Faulkner, 1735, and +Miscellanies of same date.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A</h3> + +<h2>PROPOSAL</h2> + +<h4>For the universal Use</h4> + +<h3>Of <i>Irish</i> Manufacture,</h3> + +<h4>IN</h4> + +<p class='center'>Cloaths and Furniture of Houses, &c.</p> + +<h4>UTTERLY</h4> + +<h3><i>Rejecting</i> and <i>Renouncing</i></h3> + +<p class='center'>Every Thing wearable that comes from</p> + +<h2>ENGLAND.</h2> + +<p class='center'><i>Dublin</i>: Printed and Sold by <i>E. Waters</i>, in <i>Essex-street</i>, at the +Corner of <i>Sycamore-Alley</i>, 1720.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL FOR THE UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE, IN CLOTHES +AND FURNITURE OF HOUSES, &c.</h3> + +<h4>UTTERLY REJECTING AND RENOUNCING EVERY THING WEARABLE THAT COMES FROM +ENGLAND.</h4> + + +<p>It is the peculiar felicity and prudence of the people in this kingdom, +that whatever commodities or productions lie under the greatest +discouragements from England, those are what we are sure to be most +industrious in cultivating and spreading. Agriculture, which hath been +the principal care of all wise nations, and for the encouragement +whereof there are so many statute laws in England, we countenance so +well, that the landlords are everywhere by penal clauses absolutely +prohibiting their tenants from ploughing; not satisfied to confine them +within certain limitations, as it is the practice of the English; one +effect of which is already seen in the prodigious dearness of corn, and +the importation of it from London, as the cheaper market:<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> And because +people are the riches of a country, and that our neighbours have done, +and are doing all that in them lie, to make our wool a drug to us, and a +monopoly to them; therefore the politic gentlemen of Ireland have +depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding of sheep.<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p><p>I could fill a volume as large as the history of the Wise Men of Gotham +with a catalogue only of some wonderful laws and customs we have +observed within thirty years past.<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> 'Tis true indeed, our beneficial +traffic of wool with France, hath been our only support for several +years past, furnishing us all the little money we have to pay our rents +and go to market. But our merchants assure me, "This trade hath received +a great damp by the present fluctuating condition of the coin in France; +and that most of their wine is paid for in specie, without carrying +thither any commodity from hence."</p> + +<p>However, since we are so universally bent upon enlarging our flocks, it +may be worth enquiring what we shall do with our wool, in case +Barnstaple<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> should be overstocked, and our French commerce should +fail?</p> + +<p>I could wish the Parliament had thought fit to have suspended their +regulation of church matters, and enlargements of the prerogative till a +more convenient time, because they did not appear very pressing (at +least to the persons prin<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>cipally concerned) and instead of these great +refinements in politics and divinity, had amused themselves and their +committees a little with the state of the nation. For example: What if +the House of Commons had thought fit to make a resolution <i>nemine +contradicente</i> against wearing any cloth or stuff in their families, +which were not of the growth and manufacture of this kingdom? What if +they had extended it so far as utterly to exclude all silks, velvets, +calicoes, and the whole lexicon of female fopperies; and declared, that +whoever acted otherwise, should be deemed and reputed an enemy to the +nation?<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> What if they had sent up such a resolution to be agreed to +by the House of Lords, and by their own practice and encouragement +spread the execution of it in their several countries? What if we should +agree to make burying in woollen a fashion, as our neighbours have made +it a law? What if the ladies would be content with Irish stuffs for the +furniture of their houses, for gowns and petticoats to themselves and +their daughters? Upon the whole, and to crown all the rest: Let a firm +resolution be taken by male and female, never to appear with one single +shred that comes from England; "And let all the people say, +<span class="smcap">amen</span>."</p> + +<p>I hope and believe nothing could please His Majesty better than to hear +that his loyal subjects of both sexes in this kingdom celebrated his +birthday (now approaching) universally clad in their own manufacture. Is +there virtue enough left in this deluded people to save them from the +brink of ruin? If the men's opinions may be taken, the ladies will look +as handsome in stuffs as brocades; and since all will be equal, there +may be room enough to employ their wit and fancy in choosing and +matching of patterns and colours. I heard the late Archbishop of Tuam +mention a pleasant observation of somebody's; "that Ireland would never +be happy till a law were made for burning everything that came from +England, except their people and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>their coals." Nor am I even yet for +lessening the number of those exceptions.<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Non tanti mitra est, non tanti judicis ostrum.</p></div> + +<p>But I should rejoice to see a staylace from England be thought +scandalous, and become a topic for censure at visits and tea-tables.</p> + +<p>If the unthinking shopkeepers in this town had not been utterly +destitute of common sense, they would have made some proposal to the +Parliament, with a petition to the purpose I have mentioned; promising +to improve the "cloths and stuffs of the nation into all possible +degrees of fineness and colours, and engaging not to play the knave +according to their custom, by exacting and imposing upon the nobility +and gentry either as to the prices or the goodness." For I remember in +London upon a general mourning, the rascally mercers and +woollen-drapers, would in four-and-twenty hours raise their cloths and +silks to above a double price; and if the mourning continued long, then +come whining with petitions to the court, that they were ready to +starve, and their fineries lay upon their hands.</p> + +<p>I could wish our shopkeepers would immediately think on this proposal, +addressing it to all persons of quality and others; but first be sure to +get somebody who can write sense, to put it into form.</p> + +<p>I think it needless to exhort the clergy to follow this good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> +example, because in a little time, those among them who are so +unfortunate to have had their birth and education in this country, will +think themselves abundantly happy when they can afford Irish crape, and +an Athlone hat; and as to the others I shall not presume to direct them. +I have indeed seen the present Archbishop of Dublin clad from head to +foot in our own manufacture; and yet, under the rose be it spoken, his +Grace deserves as good a gown as any prelate in Christendom.<a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a></p> + +<p>I have not courage enough to offer one syllable on this subject to their +honours of the army: Neither have I sufficiently considered the great +importance of scarlet and gold lace.</p> + +<p>The fable in Ovid of Arachne and Pallas, is to this purpose. The goddess +had heard of one Arachne a young virgin, very famous for spinning and +weaving. They both met upon a trial of skill; and Pallas finding herself +almost equalled in her own art, stung with rage and envy, knocked her +rival down, turned her into a spider, enjoining her to spin and weave +for ever, out of her own bowels, and in a very narrow compass. I +confess, that from a boy, I always pitied poor Arachne, and could never +heartily love the goddess on account of so cruel and unjust a sentence; +which however is fully executed upon us by England, with further +additions of rigour and severity. For the greatest part of our bowels +and vitals are extracted, without allowing us the liberty of spinning +and weaving them.</p> + +<p>The Scripture tells us, that "oppression makes a wise man mad." +Therefore, consequently speaking, the reason why some men are not mad, +is because they are not wise:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> +However, it were to be wished that oppression would in time teach a +little wisdom to fools.</p> + +<p>I was much delighted with a person who hath a great estate in this +kingdom, upon his complaints to me, "how grievously poor England suffers +by impositions from Ireland. That we convey our own wool to France in +spite of all the harpies at the custom-house. That Mr. Shuttleworth, and +others on the Cheshire coasts are such fools to sell us their bark at a +good price for tanning our own hides into leather; with other enormities +of the like weight and kind." To which I will venture to add some more: +"That the mayoralty of this city is always executed by an inhabitant, +and often by a native, which might as well be done by a deputy, with a +moderate salary, whereby poor England lose at least one thousand pounds +a year upon the balance. That the governing of this kingdom costs the +lord lieutenant two thousand four hundred pounds a year,<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a> so much +<i>net</i> loss to poor England. That the people of Ireland presume to dig +for coals in their own grounds, and the farmers in the county of Wicklow +send their turf to the very market of Dublin, to the great +discouragement of the coal trade at Mostyn and Whitehaven. That the +revenues of the post-office here, so righteously belonging to the +English treasury, as arising chiefly from our own commerce with each +other, should be remitted to London, clogged with that grievous burthen +of exchange, and the pensions paid out of the Irish revenues to English +favourites, should lie under the same disadvantage, to the great loss of +the grantees. When a divine is sent over to a bishopric here, with the +hopes of five-and-twenty hundred pounds a year; upon his arrival, he +finds, alas! a dreadful discount of ten or twelve <i>per cent</i>. A judge or +a commissioner of the revenue has the same cause of complaint."—Lastly,</p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + +<p>"The ballad upon Cotter is vehemently suspected to be Irish manufacture; +and yet is allowed to be sung in our open streets, under the very nose +of the government."<a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> These are a few among the many hardships we put +upon that <i>poor</i> kingdom of England; for which I am confident every +honest man wishes a remedy: And I hear there is a project on foot for +transporting our best wheaten straw by sea and land carriage to +Dunstable; and obliging us by a law to take off yearly so many ton of +straw hats for the use of our women, which will be a great encouragement +to the manufacture of that industrious town.</p> + +<p>I should be glad to learn among the divines, whether a law to bind men +without their own consent, be obligatory <i>in foro conscientiae</i>; because +I find Scripture, Sanderson and Suarez are wholly silent in the matter. +The oracle of reason, the great law of nature, and general opinion of +civilians, wherever they treat of limited governments, are indeed +decisive enough.</p> + +<p>It is wonderful to observe the bias among our people in favour of +things, persons, and wares of all kinds that come from England. The +printer tells his hawkers that he has got "an excellent new song just +brought from London." I have somewhat of a tendency that way myself; and +upon hearing a coxcomb from thence displaying himself with great +volubility upon the park, the playhouse, the opera, the gaming +ordinaries, it was apt to beget in me a kind of veneration for his parts +and accomplishments. 'Tis not many years, since I remember a person who +by his style and literature seems to have been corrector of a +hedge-press in some blind alley about Little Britain, proceed gradually +to be an author, at least a translator of a lower rate, though somewhat +of a larger bulk, than any that now flourishes in Grub Street; and upon +the strength of this foundation, come over here, erect himself up into +an orator and politician, and lead a kingdom after him.<a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a> This, I am +told, was the very motive that prevailed on the author of a play, called +"Love in a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>hollow Tree," to do us the honour of a visit; presuming with +very good reason, that he was a writer of a superior class.<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a> I know +another, who for thirty years past, hath been the common standard of +stupidity in England, where he was never heard a minute in any assembly, +or by any party with common Christian treatment; yet upon his arrival +hither, could put on a face of importance and authority, talked more +than six, without either gracefulness, propriety, or meaning; and at the +same time be admired and followed as the pattern of eloquence and +wisdom.</p> + +<p>Nothing hath humbled me so much, or shewn a greater disposition to a +contemptuous treatment of Ireland in some chief governors,<a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a> than that +high style of several speeches from the throne, delivered, as usual, +after the royal assent, in some periods of the two last reigns. Such +high exaggerations of the prodigious condescensions in the prince, to +pass those good laws, would have but an odd sound at Westminster: +Neither do I apprehend how any good law can pass, wherein the king's +interest is not as much concerned as that of the people. I remember +after a speech on the like occasion, delivered by my Lord Wharton, (I +think it was his last) he desired Mr. Addison to ask my opinion of it: +My answer was, "That his Excellency had very honestly forfeited his head +on account of one paragraph; wherein he asserted by plain consequence, a +dispensing power in the Queen." His Lordship owned it was true, but +swore the words were put into his mouth by direct orders from Court. +From whence it is clear, that some ministers in those times, were apt, +from their high elevation, to look down upon this kingdom <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>as if it had +been one of their colonies of outcasts in America. And I observed a +little of the same turn of spirit in some great men, from whom I +expected better; although to do them justice, it proved no point of +difficulty to make them correct their idea, whereof the whole nation +quickly found the benefit?—But that is forgotten. How the style hath +since run, I am wholly a stranger, having never seen a speech since the +last of the Queen.</p> + +<p>I would now expostulate a little with our country landlords, who by +unmeasurable screwing and racking their tenants all over the kingdom, +have already reduced the miserable people to a worse condition than the +peasants in France, or the vassals in Germany and Poland; so that the +whole species of what we call substantial farmers, will in a very few +years be utterly at an end.<a name="FNanchor_18_18" id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" class="fnanchor">[18]</a> It was pleasant to observe these +gentlemen labouring with all their might for preventing the bishops from +letting their revenues at a moderate half value, (whereby the whole +order would in an age have been reduced to manifest beggary) at the very +instant when they were everywhere canting their own lands upon short +leases, and sacrificing their oldest tenants for a penny an acre +advance.<a name="FNanchor_19_19" id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" class="fnanchor">[19]</a> I know not how it comes to pass, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>(and yet perhaps I know +well enough) that slaves have a natural disposition to be tyrants; and +that when my betters give me a kick, I am apt to revenge it with six +upon my footman; although perhaps he may be an honest and diligent +fellow. I have heard great divines affirm, that "nothing is so likely to +call down an universal judgment from Heaven upon a nation as universal +oppression;" and whether this be not already verified in part, their +worships the landlords are now at full leisure to consider. Whoever +travels this country, and observes the face of nature, or the faces, and +habits, and dwellings of the natives, will hardly think himself in a +land where either law, religion, or common humanity is professed.<a name="FNanchor_20_20" id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" class="fnanchor">[20]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> + +<p>I cannot forbear saying one word upon a thing they call a bank, which I +hear is projecting in this town.<a name="FNanchor_21_21" id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" class="fnanchor">[21]</a> I never <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>saw the proposals, nor +understand any one particular of their scheme: What I wish for at +present, is only a sufficient<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> provision of hemp, and caps, and bells, +to distribute according to the several degrees of honesty and prudence +in some<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> persons. I hear only of a monstrous sum already named; and if +others do not soon hear of it too, and hear of it with a vengeance, +then am I a gentleman of less sagacity, than myself and very few +besides, take me to be. And the jest will be still the better, if it be +true, as judicious persons have assured me, that one half of this money +will be real, and the other half only Gasconnade.<a name="FNanchor_22_22" id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" class="fnanchor">[22]</a> The matter will be +likewise much mended, if the merchants continue to carry off our gold, +and our goldsmiths to melt down our heavy silver.</p> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> +<h4>AN ESSAY</h4> + +<h5>ON</h5> + +<h3>ENGLISH BUBBLES.</h3> + +<h4>BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The excitement and even fury which were prevalent in England and +France during the years 1719 and 1720 over Law's South Sea schemes +afforded Swift an opportunity for the play of his satire by way of +criticism on projects which appeared to him to be of the same +character. News from France on the Mississippi Scheme which, in +1719, was at the height of its stock-jobbing success, gave glorious +accounts of fortunes made in a night, and of thousands who had +become rich and were living in unheard of luxury. Schemes were +floated on every possible kind of ventures, and so plentiful was +the "paper money" that nothing was too absurd for speculators. All +these schemes, which soon came to nought, went, later, by the name +of "Bubbles," and this essay of Swift's touches the matter with his +usual satire.</p> + +<p>The time chosen for the proposal for the establishment of a +National Bank in Ireland was not a happy one. It was made in 1720 +when the "Bubbles" had burst and found thousands ruined and +pauperized. Swift, always an enemy to schemes of any kind, classed +that of the bank with the rest of the "Bubbles," and, although the +plan itself was a real effort to relieve Ireland, and might have +effected its purpose, the terror of the "Bubbles" was sufficient to +wreck it.</p> + +<p>It required very little from Swift to insure its rejection, and +rejected it was by the Irish legislature, before whose +consideration it was brought.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Some doubt seems to obtain as to the authenticity of this "Essay on +English Bubbles," which, in the words of Sir Walter Scott, may "be +considered as introductory to the other" tracts on the Bank +Project. This essay, however, appears in the edition of 1720 of +"The Swearer's Bank," and, although it is not included in the +"Miscellanies" of 1722, it is accepted by Faulkner in his collected +edition of Swift's works. The present text is based on that +prefixed to the edition of "The Swearer's Bank," 1720.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>AN ESSAY ON ENGLISH BUBBLES.</h3> + +<h4>BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ.</h4> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>To the Right Reverend, Right Honourable, and Right Worshipful, and +to the Reverend, Honourable, and Worshipful, &c. Company of +Stockjobbers; whether Honest or Dishonest, Pious or Impious, Wise +or Otherwise, Male or Female, Young or Old, One with another, who +have suffered Depredation by the late Bubbles: <i>Greeting</i>.</p></div> + + +<p>Having received the following scheme from Dublin, I give you the +earliest notice, how you may retrieve the <span class="smcap">decus et tutamen</span>,<a name="FNanchor_23_23" id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" class="fnanchor">[23]</a> +which you have sacrificed by permits in bubbles. This project is founded +on a Parliamentary security, besides, the devil is in it, if it can +fail, since a dignitary of the Church<a name="FNanchor_24_24" id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" class="fnanchor">[24]</a> is at the head on't. Therefore +you, who have subscribed to the stocking insurance, and are out at the +heels, may soon appear tight about the legs. You, who encouraged the +hemp manufacture, may leave the halter to rogues, and prevent the odium +of <i>felo de se</i>. Medicinal virtues are here to be had without the +expense and hazard of a dispensary: You may sleep without dreaming of +bottles at your tail, and a looking-glass shall not affright you; and +since the glass bubble proved as brittle as its ware, and broke together +with itself the hopes of its proprietors, they may make themselves whole +by subscribing to our new fund.</p> + +<p>Here indeed may be made three very grave objections, by incredulous +interested priests, ambitious citizens, and scrupulous statesmen. The +stocking manufactory gentlemen don't know how swearing can bring 'em to +any prob<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span>ability of covering their legs anew, unless it be by the means +of a pair of stocks: That the hemp-snared men apprehend, that such an +encouragement for oaths can tend to no other advancement, promotion, and +exaltation of their persons, than that of the gallows: The late old +ordinary, Paul,<a name="FNanchor_25_25" id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" class="fnanchor">[25]</a> having grown grey in the habit of making this +accurate observation in every month's Session-Paper, "That swearing had +as great a hand in the suspension of every living soul under his cure, +as Sabbath-breaking itself;" and that the glass-bubble-men cannot, for +their lives, with the best pair of spectacles, that is the only thing +left neat and whole, out of all their wares, see how they shall make +anything out of this his oath-project, supposing he should even confirm +by one its goodness: An oath being, as they say, as brittle as glass, +and only made to be broken.</p> + +<p>But those incredulous priests shall not go without an answer, that will, +I am sure, induce them to place a great confidence in the benefit +arising from Christians, who damn themselves every hour of the day. For +while they speak of the vainness and fickleness of oaths, as an +objection against our project, they little consider that this fickleness +and vainness is the common practice among all the people of this +sublunary world; and that consequently, instead of being an objection +against the project, is a concluding argument of the constancy and +solidity of their sure gain by it; a never-failing argument, as he tells +us, among the brethren of his cloth.</p> + +<p>The ambitious citizens, who from being plunged deep in the wealthy +whirlpool of the South-Sea, are in hopes of rising to such seats of +fortune and dignity, as would best suit with their mounting and aspiring +hopes, may imagine that this new fund, in the sister nation, may prove a +rival to theirs; and, by drawing off a multitude of subscribers, will, +if it makes a flood in Ireland, cause an ebb in England. But it may be +answered, that, though our author avers, that this fund will vie with +the South-Sea, yet it will not clash <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>with it. On the contrary, the +subscribers to this must wish the increase of the South-Sea, (so far +from being its rival); because the multitude of people raised by it, who +were plain-speakers, as they were plain-dealers before, must learn to +swear, in order to become their clothes, and to be gentlemen <i>à la +mode</i>; while those that are ruined, I mean Job'd by it, will dismiss the +patience of their old pattern, swear at their condition, and curse their +Maker in their distress; and so the increase of that English fund will +be demonstratively an ample augmentation of the Irish one: So far will +it be from being rivalled by it, so that each of them may subscribe to a +fund they have their own security for augmenting.</p> + +<p>The scrupulous statesmen (for we know that statesmen are usually very +scrupulous) may object against having this project secured by votes in +Parliament; by reason, as they may deem it, in their great wisdom, an +impious project; and that therefore so illustrious an assembly, as the +Irish parliament, ought, by no means, according to the opinion of a +Christian statesman, to be concerned in supporting an impious thing in +the world. The way that some may take to prove it impious, is, because +it will tend highly to the interest of swearing.—But this I take to be +plain downright sophistry, and playing upon words: If this be called the +Swearing project, or the Oath-act, the increase of swearing will be very +much for the benefit and interest of swearing, (<i>i.e.</i>) to the +subscribers in the fund to be raised by this fruitful Swearing-act, if +it should be so called; but not to the swearers themselves, who are to +pay for it: So that it will be, according to this distinction, piously +indeed an act for a benefit to mankind, <i>from</i> swearing, not +<i>impiously</i>, a benefit <i>in swearing</i>: So that I think that argument +entirely answered and defeated. Far be it from the Dean to have entered +into so unchristian a project, as this had been, so considered. But then +these politicians (being generally, as the world knows, mighty tender of +conscience) may raise these new doubts, fears, and scruples, <i>viz.</i> that +it will however cause the subscribers to wish, in their minds, for many +oaths to fly about, which is a heinous crime, and to lay stratagems to +try the patience of men of all sorts, to put them upon the swearing +strain, in order to bring grist to their own mill, which is a crime +still more enormous; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> that therefore, for fear of these evil +consequences, the passing of such an act is not consistent with the +really extraordinary and tender conscience of a true modern politician. +But in answer to this, I think I can plead the strongest plea in nature, +and that is called precedent, I think; which I take thus from the +South-Sea: One man, by the very nature of that subscription, must +naturally pray for the temporal damnation of another man in his fortune, +in order for gaining his own salvation in it; yea, even though he knows +the other man's temporal damnation would be the cause of his eternal, by +his swearing and despairing. Neither do I think this in casuistry and +sin, because the swearing, undone man is a free agent, and can choose +whether he will swear or no, anybody's wishes whatsoever to the contrary +notwithstanding: And in politics I am sure it is even a Machiavellian +holy maxim, "That some men should be ruined for the good of others." +Thus I think I have answered all the objections that can be brought +against this project's coming to perfection, and proved it to be +convenient for the state, of interest to the Protestant church, and +consonant with Christianity, nay, with the very scruples of modern, +squeamish statesmen.</p> + +<p>To conclude: The laudable author of this project squares the measures of +it so much according to the scripture rule, it may reasonably be +presumed, that all good Christians in England will come as fast into the +subscriptions for his encouragement, as they have already done +throughout the kingdom of Ireland. For what greater proof could this +author give of his Christianity, than, for bringing about this +Swearing-act, charitably to part with his coat, and sit starving in a +very thin waistcoat in his garret, to do the corporal virtues of feeding +and clothing the poor, and raising them from the cottage to the palace, +by punishing the vices of the rich. What more could have been done even +in the primitive times!</p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Thomas Hope.</span></p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">From my House in St. Faith's Parish,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">London, August 10, 1720.</span> +</p> + +<p>P.S.—For the benefit of the author, application may be made to me at +the Tilt-Yard Coffee-house, Whitehall.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p> +<h3>THE SWEARER'S BANK.</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The plan for the establishment of a National Bank in Dublin was +first put forward in 1720 in the form of a petition presented to +the King by the Earl of Abercorn, Viscount Boyne, Sir Ralph Gore, +and others. It was proposed to raise a fund of £500,000 for the +purpose of loaning money to merchants at a comparatively low rate +of interest. The King approved of the petition, and directed that a +charter of incorporation for such a bank should pass the Great Seal +of Ireland. When the matter came up for discussion in the Irish +Houses of Legislature, both the Lords and Commons rejected the +proposal on the ground that no safe foundation for such an +establishment could be found. (See note <i>post</i>.)</p> + +<p>During and after the discussion on this project in the legislature +a pamphlet controversy arose in which two able writers +distinguished themselves—Mr. Henry Maxwell and Mr. Hercules +Rowley. The former was in favour of the bank while Mr. Rowley was +against it.</p> + +<p>Mr. Maxwell argued soundly from the ground on which all banking +institutions were founded. Mr. Rowley, however, pointed out that +the condition of Ireland, dependent as that country was on +England's whims, and interfered with as she always had been, by +English selfishness, in her commercial and industrial enterprises, +would not be bettered were the bank to prove even a great success. +For, should the bank be found in any way to touch the trade of +England, it might be taken for granted that its charter would be +repealed, and Ireland find itself in a worse state than it was +before.</p> + +<p>The pamphlets written by these gentlemen bear the following titles:</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" width="80%" cellspacing="0" summary="REASONS FOR ERECTING A BANK IN IRELAND"> +<tr><td align='left'>(1) Reasons offer'd for erecting a Bank in Ireland, in a letter to<br />Hercules Rowley, Esq., by Henry Maxwell, Esq.</td><td align='left'>Dublin, 1721.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(2) An Answer to a Book, intitled Reasons offered for erecting a<br />Bank in Ireland. In a Letter to Henry Maxwell, Esq.<br />By Hercules Rowley, Esq.</td><td align='left'>Dublin, 1721.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(3) Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley,<br />wherein the objections against the Bank are answered.</td><td align='left'>Dublin, 1721.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>(4) An answer to Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley,<br />concerning the Bank. By Hercules Rowley, Esq.</td><td align='left'>Dublin, 1721.</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Sir Walter Scott, in his edition of Swift's works, reprints these +pamphlets. The text of the present edition of "The Swearer's Bank" +is based on that published in London in 1720.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h2><i>Swearer's</i>-Bank:</h2> + +<h4>OR,</h4> + +<h2>Parliamentary Security</h2> + +<h4>FOR</h4> + +<h3>Establishing a new <span class="smcap">Bank</span></h3> + +<h4>IN</h4> + +<h2><i>IRELAND</i>.</h2> + +<h5><span class="smcap">Wherein</span></h5> + +<h4>The Medicinal Use of <span class="smcap">Oaths</span> is considered.</h4> + +<h4>(WITH</h4> + +<h4>The <i>Best in Christendom</i>. A TALE.)</h4> + + +<h4><i>Written by Dean</i> <span class="smcap">Swift</span>.</h4> + + +<p class='center'><i>Si Populus vult decipi decipiatur.</i></p> + + +<p class='center'>To which is prefixed,</p> + +<h3>An ESSAY upon <i>English</i> <span class="smcap">Bubbles</span>.</h3> + +<h4><i>By</i> <span class="smcap">Thomas Hope</span>, <i>Esq</i>;</h4> + + + +<p class='center'><i>DUBLIN</i>:</p> +<p class='center'>Printed by <span class="smcap">Thomas Hume</span>, next Door to the <i>Walsh's-Head</i> in +<i>Smock-Alley</i>. 1720. Reprinted at <i>London</i> by <span class="smcap">J. Roberts</span> in +<i>Warwick-Lane</i>.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE SWEARER'S BANK.</h3> + + +<p>"To believe everything that is said by a certain set of men, and to +doubt of nothing they relate, though ever so improbable," is a maxim +that has contributed as much for the time, to the support of Irish +banks, as it ever did to the Popish religion; and they are not only +beholden to the latter for their foundation, but they have the happiness +to have the same patron saint: For Ignorance, the reputed mother of the +devotion of the one, seems to bear the same affectionate relation to the +credit of the other.</p> + +<p>To subscribe to banks, without knowing the scheme or design of them, is +not unlike to some gentlemen's signing addresses without knowing the +contents of them: To engage in a bank that has neither act of +parliament, charter, nor lands to support it, is like sending a ship to +sea without bottom; to expect a coach and six by the former, would be as +ridiculous as to hope a return by the latter.</p> + +<p>It was well known some time ago, that our banks would be included in the +bubble-bill; and it was believed those chimeras would necessarily vanish +with the first easterly wind that should inform the town of the royal +assent.</p> + +<p>It was very mortifying to several gentlemen, who dreamed of nothing but +easy chariots, on the arrival of the fatal packet, to slip out of them +into their walking shoes. But should those banks, as it is vainly +imagined, be so fortunate as to obtain a charter, and purchase lands; +yet on any run on them in a time of invasion, there would be so many +starving proprietors, reviving their old pretensions to land, and a +bellyful, that the subscribers would be unwilling, upon any call, to +part with their money, not knowing what might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> happen: So that in a +rebellion, where the success was doubtful, the bank would infallibly +break.<a name="FNanchor_26_26" id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" class="fnanchor">[26]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> + +<p>Since so many gentlemen of this town have had the courage, without any +security, to appear in the same paper with a million or two; it is +hoped, when they are made sensible of their safety, that they will be +prevailed to trust themselves in a neat skin of parchment with a single +one.</p> + +<p>To encourage them, the undertaker proposes the erecting a bank on +parliamentary security, and such security as no revolution or change of +times can affect.</p> + +<p>To take away all jealousy of any private view of the undertaker, he +assures the world, that he is now in a garret, in a very thin waistcoat, +studying the public good, having given an undeniable pledge of his love +to his country, by pawning his coat, in order to defray the expense of +the press.</p> + +<p>It is very well known, that by an act of parliament to prevent profane +swearing, the person so offending, on oath made before a magistrate, +forfeits a shilling, which may be levied with little difficulty.</p> + +<p>It is almost unnecessary to mention, that this is become a pet-vice +among us; and though age renders us unfit for other vices, yet this, +where it takes hold, never leaves us but with our speech.</p> + +<p>So vast a revenue might be raised by the execution of this act, that I +have often wondered, in such a scarcity of funds, that methods have not +been taken to make it serviceable to the public.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p> + +<p>I dare venture to say, if this act was well executed in England, the +revenue of it applied to the navy, would make the English fleet a terror +to all Europe.</p> + +<p>It is computed by geographers, that there are two millions in this +kingdom, (of Ireland) of which number there may be said to be a million +of swearing souls.</p> + +<p>It is thought there may be five thousand gentlemen; every gentleman, +taking one with another, may afford to swear an oath every day, which +will yearly produce one million, eight hundred, twenty-five thousand +oaths, which number of shillings makes the yearly sum of ninety-one +thousand, two hundred and fifty pounds.</p> + +<p>The farmers of this kingdom, who are computed to be ten thousand, are +able to spend yearly five hundred thousand oaths, which gives +twenty-five thousand pounds; and it is conjectured, that from the bulk +of the people twenty, or five-and-twenty thousand pounds may be yearly +collected.</p> + +<p>These computations are very modest, since it is evident that there is a +much greater consumption of oaths in this kingdom, and consequently a +much greater sum might be yearly raised.</p> + +<p>That it may be collected with ease and regularity, it is proposed to +settle informers in great towns in proportion to the number of +inhabitants, and to have riding-officers in the country; and since +nothing brings a greater contempt on any profession than poverty, it is +determined to settle very handsome salaries on the gentlemen that are +employed by the bank, that they may, by a generosity of living, +reconcile men to an office, that has lain under so much scandal of late, +as to be undertaken by none but curates, clerks of meeting-houses, and +broken tradesmen.</p> + +<p>It is resolved, that none shall be preferred to those employments, but +persons that are notorious for being constant churchmen, and frequent +communicants; whose piety will be a sufficient security for their honest +and industrious execution of their office.</p> + +<p>It is very probable, that twenty thousand pounds will be necessary to +defray all expenses of servants salaries, &c. However, there will be the +clear yearly sum of one hundred thousand pounds, which may very justly +claim a million subscription.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + +<p>It is determined to lay out the remaining unapplied profits, which will +be very considerable, towards the erecting and maintaining charity +schools; a design so beneficial to the public, and especially to the +Protestant interest of this kingdom, has met with so much encouragement +from several great patriots in England, that they have engaged to +procure an act to secure the sole benefit of informing, on this swearing +act, to the agents and servants of this new bank. Several of my friends +pretend to demonstrate, that this bank will in time vie with the South +Sea Company: They insist, that the army dispend as many oaths yearly as +will produce one hundred thousand pounds <i>net</i>.</p> + +<p>There are computed to be one hundred pretty fellows in this town, that +swear fifty oaths a head daily; some of them would think it hard to be +stinted to an hundred: This very branch would produce a vast sum yearly.</p> + +<p>The fairs of this kingdom will bring in a vast revenue; the oaths of a +little Connaught one, as well as they could be numbered by two persons, +amounted to three thousand. It is true, that it would be impossible to +turn all of them into ready money; for a shilling is so great a duty on +swearing, that if it was carefully exacted, the common people might as +well pretend to drink wine as to swear; and an oath would be as rare +among them as a clean shirt.</p> + +<p>A servant that I employed to accompany the militia their last muster +day, had scored down in the compass of eight hours, three hundred oaths, +but as the putting the act in execution on those days, would only fill +the stocks with porters, and pawn-shops with muskets and swords: And as +it would be matter of great joy to Papists, and disaffected persons, to +see our militia swear themselves out of their guns and swords, it is +resolved, that no advantage shall be taken of any militiaman's swearing +while he is under arms; nor shall any advantage be taken of any man's +swearing in the Four Courts provided he is at hearing in the exchequer, +or has just paid off an attorney's bill.</p> + +<p>The medicinal use of oaths is what the undertaker would by no means +discourage, especially where it is necessary to help the lungs to throw +off any distilling humour. On certificate of a course of swearing +prescribed by any physician, a permit will be given to the patient by +the proper officer of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> the bank, paying no more but sixpence. It is +expected, that a scheme of so much advantage to the public will meet +with more encouragement than their chimerical banks; and the undertaker +hopes, that as he has spent a considerable fortune in bringing this +scheme to bear, he may have the satisfaction to see it take place, for +the public good, though he should have the fate of most projectors, to +be undone.</p> + +<p>It is resolved, that no compositions shall be made, nor licences granted +for swearing, under a notion of applying the money to pious uses; a +practice so scandalous as is fit only for the see of Rome, where the +money arising from whoring licences is applied <i>ad propagandam fidem</i>: +And to the shame of Smock-alley, and of all Protestant whores, +(especially those who live under the light of the Gospel-ministry) be it +spoken, a whore in Rome never lies down, but she hopes it will be the +means of converting some poor heathen, or heretic.</p> + +<p>The swearing revenues of the town of Cork will be given for ever, by the +bank, to the support of poor clergymen's widows; and those of Ringsend +will be allowed to the maintenance of sailors' bastards.</p> + +<p>The undertaker designs, in a few days, to appoint time and place for +taking subscriptions; the subscribers must come prepared to pay down one +fourth, on subscribing.</p> + + +<p class='center'>POSTSCRIPT.</p> + +<p>The Jews of Rotterdam have offered to farm the revenues of Dublin at +twenty thousand pounds <i>per ann.</i> Several eminent Quakers are also +willing to take them at that rent; but the undertaker has rejected their +proposals, being resolved to deal with none but Christians.</p> + +<p>Application may be made to him about them, any day at Pat's +coffee-house, where attendance will be given.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER</h3> + +<h4>TO THE</h4> + +<h3>KING AT ARMS.</h3> + +<p class='center'>[FROM A REPUTED ESQUIRE,<a name="FNanchor_27_27" id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" class="fnanchor">[27]</a> ONE OF THE SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p> + +<p class='author'><i>November</i> 18, 1721.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>In a late printed paper,<a name="FNanchor_28_28" id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" class="fnanchor">[28]</a> containing some notes and queries upon that +list of the subscribers' names, which was published by order of the +commissioners for receiving of subscriptions, I find some hints and +innuendoes that would seem to insinuate, as if I and some others were +only <i>reputed</i> esquires; and our case is referred to you, in your kingly +capacity. I desire you will please to let me know the lowest <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>price of a +real esquire's coat of arms: And, if we can agree, I will give my bond +to pay you out of the first interest I receive for my subscription; +because things are a little low <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>with me at present, by throwing my +whole fortune into the bank, having subscribed for five hundred pounds +sterling.</p> + +<p>I hope you will not question my pretensions to this title, when I let +you know that my godfather was a justice of peace, and I myself have +been often a keeper of it. My father was a leader and commander of +horse, in which post he rode before the greatest lords of the land;<a name="FNanchor_29_29" id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" class="fnanchor">[29]</a> +and, in long marches, he alone presided over the baggage, advancing +directly before it. My mother kept open house in Dublin, where several +hundreds were supported with meat and drink, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>bought at her own charge, +or with her personal credit, until some envious brewers and butchers +forced her to retire.<a name="FNanchor_30_30" id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" class="fnanchor">[30]</a></p> + +<p>As to myself, I have been, for several years, a foot-officer; and it was +my charge to guard the carriages, behind which I was commanded to stick +close, that they might not be attacked in the rear. I have had the +honour to be a favourite of several fine ladies; who, each of them at +different times, gave me such coloured knots and public marks of +distinction, that every one knew which of them it was to whom I paid my +address. They would not go into their coach without me, nor willingly +drink unless I gave them the glass with my own hand. They allowed me to +call them my mistresses, and owned that title publicly. I have been +told, that the true ancient employment of a squire was to carry a +knight's shield, painted with his colours and coat of arms. This is what +I have witnesses to produce that I have often done; not indeed in a +shield, like my predecessors, but that which is full as good, I have +carried the colours of a knight upon my coat.<a name="FNanchor_31_31" id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" class="fnanchor">[31]</a> I have likewise borne +the king's arms in my hand, as a mark of authority;<a name="FNanchor_32_32" id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" class="fnanchor">[32]</a> and hung them +painted before my dwelling-house, as a mark of my calling:<a name="FNanchor_33_33" id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" class="fnanchor">[33]</a> So that I +may truly say, His Majesty's arms have been my supporters. I have been a +strict and constant follower of men of quality, I have diligently +pursued the steps of several squires, and am able to behave myself as +well as the best of them, whenever there shall be occasion.</p> + +<p>I desire it may be no disadvantage to me, that, by the new act of +parliament going to pass for preserving the game, I am not yet qualified +to keep a greyhound. If this should be the test of squirehood, it will +go hard with a great number of my fraternity, as well as myself, who +must all be unsquired, because a greyhound will not be allowed to keep +us company; and it is well known I have been a companion to his betters. +What has a greyhound to do with a squireship? Might I not be a real +squire, although there was no such thing as a greyhound in the world? +Pray tell me, sir, are greyhounds to be from henceforth the supporters +of every <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>squire's coat of arms? Although I cannot keep a greyhound, may +not a greyhound help to keep me? May not I have an order from the +governors of the bank to keep a greyhound, with a <i>non obstante</i> to the +act of parliament, as well as they have created a bank against the votes +of the two Houses? But, however, this difficulty will soon be overcome. +I am promised 125<i>l.</i> a year for subscribing 500<i>l.</i>; and, of this +500<i>l.</i> I am to pay in only 25<i>l.</i> ready money: The governors will trust +me for the rest, and pay themselves out of the interest by 25<i>l.</i> <i>per +cent</i>. So that I intend to receive only 40<i>l.</i> a-year, to qualify me for +keeping my family and a greyhound, and let the remaining 85<i>l.</i> go on +till it makes 500<i>l.</i> then 1000<i>l.</i> then 10,000<i>l.</i> then 100,000<i>l.</i> +then a million, and so forwards. This, I think, is much better (betwixt +you and me) than keeping fairs, and buying and selling bullocks; by +which I find, from experience, that little is to be gotten, in these +hard times. I am,</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 11em;">SIR,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Your friend, and</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">Servant to command,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;" class="smcap">A. B. Esquire.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p><i>Postscript</i>. I hope you will favourably represent my case to the +publisher of the paper above-mentioned.</p> + +<p>Direct your letter for A. B. Esquire, at —— in ——; and, pray, get some +parliament-man to frank it, for it will cost a groat postage to this +place.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h3>LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h3>EBENEZER ELLISTON.</h3> + +<h4>WHO WAS EXECUTED THE SECOND DAY OF MAY, 1722.</h4> + +<p class='center'><i>Published at his desire, for the common good.</i></p> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p><i>N.B. About the time that this speech was written, the Town was +much pestered with street-robbers; who, in a barbarous manner would +seize on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners, and after +they had robbed them, would leave them bound and gagged. It is +remarkable, that this speech had so good an effect, that there have +been very few robberies of that kind committed since</i>.<a name="FNanchor_34_34" id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" class="fnanchor">[34]</a></p></div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Burke spoke of Swift's tracts of a public nature, relating to +Ireland, as "those in which the Dean appears in the best light, +because they do honour to his heart as well as his head; furnishing +some additional proofs that, though he was very free in his abuse +of the inhabitants of that country, as well natives as foreigners, +he had their interest sincerely at heart, and perfectly understood +it."</p> + +<p>The following tract on "The Last Words and Dying Speech of Ebenezer +Elliston" admirably illustrates Burke's remark.</p> + +<p>The city of Dublin, at the time Swift wrote, was on a par with some +of the lower districts of New York City about twenty years ago, +which were dangerous in the extreme to traverse after dark. Robbers +in gangs would waylay pedestrians and leave them often badly +maltreated and maimed. These thieves and "roughs" became so +impudent and brazen in their business that the condition of the +city was a disgrace to the municipal government. To put down the +nuisance Swift took a characteristic method. Ebenezer Elliston had, +about this time, been executed for street robbery. Although given a +good education by his parents, he forsook his trade of a silk +weaver, and became a gambler and burglar. He was well known to the +other gangs which infested Dublin, but his death did not act as a +deterrent. Swift, in composing Elliston's pretended dying speech, +gave it the flavour and character of authenticity in order to +impose on the members of other gangs, and so successful was he in +his intention, that the speech was accepted as the real expression +of their late companion by the rest and had a most salutary effect. +Scott says it was "received as genuine by the banditti who had been +companions of his depredations, who were the more easily persuaded +of its authenticity as it contained none of the cant usual in the +dying speeches composed for malefactors by the Ordinary or the +ballad-makers. The threat which it held out of a list deposited +with a secure hand, containing their names, crimes, and place of +rendezvous, operated for a long time in preventing a repetition of +their villanies, which had previously been so common."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is based on that given by Faulkner +in the fourth volume of his edition of Swift printed in Dublin in +1735.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING<br />WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON.</h3> + + +<p>I am now going to suffer the just punishment for my crimes prescribed by +the law of God and my country. I know it is the constant custom, that +those who come to this place should have speeches made for them, and +cried about in their own hearing, as they are carried to execution; and +truly they are such speeches that although our fraternity be an ignorant +illiterate people, they would make a man ashamed to have such nonsense +and false English charged upon him even when he is going to the gallows: +They contain a pretended account of our birth and family; of the fact +for which we are to die; of our sincere repentance; and a declaration of +our religion.<a name="FNanchor_35_35" id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" class="fnanchor">[35]</a> I cannot expect to avoid the same treatment with my +predecessors. However, having had an education one or two degrees better +than those of my rank and profession;<a name="FNanchor_36_36" id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" class="fnanchor">[36]</a> I have been considering ever +since my commitment, what it might be proper for me to deliver upon this +occasion.</p> + +<p>And first, I cannot say from the bottom of my heart, that I am truly +sorry for the offence I have given to God and the world; but I am very +much so, for the bad success of my villainies in bringing me to this +untimely end. For it is plainly evident, that after having some time ago +obtained a pardon from the crown, I again took up my old trade; my evil +habits were so rooted in me, and I was grown so unfit <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>for any other +kind of employment. And therefore although in compliance with my +friends, I resolve to go to the gallows after the usual manner, +kneeling, with a book in my hand, and my eyes lift up; yet I shall feel +no more devotion in my heart than I have observed in some of my +comrades, who have been drunk among common whores the very night before +their execution. I can say further from my own knowledge, that two of my +fraternity after they had been hanged, and wonderfully came to life, and +made their escapes, as it sometimes happens, proved afterwards the +wickedest rogues I ever knew, and so continued until they were hanged +again for good and all; and yet they had the impudence at both times +they went to the gallows, to smite their breasts, and lift up their eyes +to Heaven all the way.</p> + +<p>Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my own wicked dispositions and +that of my comrades, I give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more +unfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the government in ever +pardoning or transporting us; unless when we betray one another, as we +never fail to do, if we are sure to be well paid; and then a pardon may +do good; by the same rule, "That it is better to have but one fox in a +farm than three or four." But we generally make a shift to return after +being transported, and are ten times greater rogues than before, and +much more cunning. Besides, I know it by experience, that some hopes we +have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after we are condemned, is +always a great encouragement to us.</p> + +<p>Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle young fellows, than the +company of those odious common whores we frequent, and of which this +town is full: These wretches put us upon all mischief to feed their +lusts and extravagancies: They are ten times more bloody and cruel than +men; their advice is always not to spare if we are pursued; they get +drunk with us, and are common to us all; and yet, if they can get +anything by it, are sure to be our betrayers.</p> + +<p>Now, as I am a dying man, I have done something which may be of good use +to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only +honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked +brethren, the present places of their abode, with a short account of the +chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their +ac<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>complice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise +set down the names of those we call our setters, of the wicked houses we +frequent, and of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have +solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon +oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbing, or +house-breaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name +there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the government. +Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they +will take it.</p> + +<p>In the paper above mentioned, which I left with my friend, I have also +set down the names of several gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin +streets for three years past: I have told the circumstances of those +robberies; and shewn plainly that nothing but the want of common courage +was the cause of their misfortunes. I have therefore desired my friend, +that whenever any gentlemen happens to be robbed in the streets, he will +get that relation printed and published with the first letters of those +gentlemen's names, who by their own want of bravery are likely to be the +cause of all the mischief of that kind, which may happen for the future.</p> + +<p>I cannot leave the world without a short description of that kind of +life, which I have led for some years past; and is exactly the same with +the rest of our wicked brethren.</p> + +<p>Although we are generally so corrupted from our childhood, as to have no +sense of goodness; yet something heavy always hangs about us, I know not +what it is, that we are never easy till we are half drunk among our +whores and companions; nor sleep sound, unless we drink longer than we +can stand. If we go abroad in the day, a wise man would easily find us +to be rogues by our faces; we have such a suspicious, fearful, and +constrained countenance; often turning back, and slinking through narrow +lanes and alleys. I have never failed of knowing a brother thief by his +looks, though I never saw him before. Every man among us keeps his +particular whore, who is however common to us all, when we have a mind +to change. When we have got a booty, if it be in money, we divide it +equally among our companions, and soon squander it away on our vices in +those houses that receive us; for the master and mistress, and the very +tapster, go snacks; and besides make us pay treble<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> reckonings. If our +plunder be plate, watches, rings, snuff-boxes, and the like; we have +customers in all quarters of the town to take them off. I have seen a +tankard worth fifteen pounds sold to a fellow in —— street for twenty +shillings; and a gold watch for thirty. I have set down his name, and +that of several others in the paper already mentioned. We have setters +watching in corners, and by dead walls, to give us notice when a +gentleman goes by; especially if he be anything in drink. I believe in +my conscience, that if an account were made of a thousand pounds in +stolen goods; considering the low rates we sell them at, the bribes we +must give for concealment, the extortions of alehouse-reckonings, and +other necessary charges, there would not remain fifty pounds clear to be +divided among the robbers. And out of this we must find clothes for our +whores, besides treating them from morning to night; who, in requital, +reward us with nothing but treachery and the pox. For when our money is +gone, they are every moment threatening to inform against us, if we will +not go out to look for more. If anything in this world be like hell, as +I have heard it described by our clergy; the truest picture of it must +be in the back-room of one of our alehouses at midnight; where a crew of +robbers and their whores are met together after a booty, and are +beginning to grow drunk, from which time, until they are past their +senses, is such a continued horrible noise of cursing, blasphemy, +lewdness, scurrility, and brutish behaviour; such roaring and confusion, +such a clatter of mugs and pots at each other's heads, that Bedlam, in +comparison, is a sober and orderly place: At last they all tumble from +their stools and benches, and sleep away the rest of the night; and +generally the landlord or his wife, or some other whore who has a +stronger head than the rest, picks their pockets before they wake. The +misfortune is, that we can never be easy till we are drunk; and our +drunkenness constantly exposes us to be more easily betrayed and taken.</p> + +<p>This is a short picture of the life I have led; which is more miserable +than that of the poorest labourer who works for four pence a day; and +yet custom is so strong, that I am confident, if I could make my escape +at the foot of the gallows, I should be following the same course this +very evening. So that upon the whole, we ought to be looked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> upon as the +common enemies of mankind; whose interest it is to root us out likes +wolves, and other mischievous vermin, against which no fair play is +required.</p> + +<p>If I have done service to men in what I have said, I shall hope I have +done service to God; and that will be better than a silly speech made +for me full of whining and canting, which I utterly despise, and have +never been used to; yet such a one I expect to have my ears tormented +with, as I am passing along the streets.</p> + +<p>Good people fare ye well; bad as I am, I leave many worse behind me. I +hope you shall see me die like a man, the death of a dog.</p> + +<p class='author'>E.E.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE TRUTH</h3> + +<h4>OF SOME</h4> + +<h3>MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT,</h3> + +<h4>EXAMINED</h4> + +<h3>WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>These maxims, written in the year 1724, may be taken as Swift's +opening of his campaign against the oppressive legislation of +England which had brought Ireland to the degraded and +poverty-stricken condition it existed in at the time he wrote. +Burke characterizes these maxims as "a collection of State +Paradoxes, abounding with great sense and penetration." The +subjects they touch on are dealt with in greater detail in the +tracts which follow in this volume, and the reader is referred to +them and the notes for the causes which had brought Ireland in so +low a state.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is based on that given by Deane +Swift in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>MAXIMS CONTROLLED<a name="FNanchor_37_37" id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" class="fnanchor">[37]</a> IN IRELAND.</h3> + + +<p>There are certain maxims of state, founded upon long observation and +experience, drawn from the constant practice of the wisest nations, and +from the very principles of government, nor ever controlled by any +writer upon politics. Yet all these maxims do necessarily presuppose a +kingdom, or commonwealth, to have the same natural rights common to the +rest of mankind, who have entered into civil society; for if we could +conceive a nation where each of the inhabitants had but one eye, one +leg, and one hand, it is plain that, before you could institute them +into a republic, an allowance must be made for those material defects +wherein they differed from other mortals. Or, imagine a legislator +forming a system for the government of Bedlam, and, proceeding upon the +maxim that man is a sociable animal, should draw them out of their +cells, and form them into corporations or general assemblies; the +consequence might probably be, that they would fall foul on each other, +or burn the house over their own heads.</p> + +<p>Of the like nature are innumerable errors committed by crude and short +thinkers, who reason upon general topics, without the least allowance +for the most important circumstances, which quite alter the nature of +the case.</p> + +<p>This hath been the fate of those small dealers, who are every day +publishing their thoughts, either on paper or in their assemblies, for +improving the trade of Ireland, and re<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span>ferring us to the practice and +example of England, Holland, France, or other nations.</p> + +<p>I shall, therefore, examine certain maxims of government, which +generally pass for uncontrolled in the world, and consider how far they +will suit with the present condition of this kingdom.</p> + +<p>First, It is affirmed by wise men, that "The dearness of things +necessary for life, in a fruitful country, is a certain sign of wealth +and great commerce;" for when such necessaries are dear, it must +absolutely follow that money is cheap and plentiful.</p> + +<p>But this is manifestly false in Ireland, for the following reason. Some +years ago, the species of money here did probably amount to six or seven +hundred thousand pounds;<a name="FNanchor_38_38" id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" class="fnanchor">[38]</a> and I have good cause to believe, that our +remittances then did not much exceed the cash brought in to us. But, the +prodigious discouragements we have since received in every branch of our +trade, by the frequent enforcements and rigorous execution of the +navigation-act,<a name="FNanchor_39_39" id="FNanchor_39_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_39_39" class="fnanchor">[39]</a> the tyranny of under custom-house officers, the +yearly addition of absentees, the payments to regiments abroad, to civil +and military officers residing in England, the unexpected sudden demands +of great sums from the treasury, and some other drains of perhaps as +great consequence,<a name="FNanchor_40_40" id="FNanchor_40_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_40_40" class="fnanchor">[40]</a> we now see ourselves reduced to a state (since we +have no friends) of being pitied by our enemies; at least, if our +enemies were of such a kind, as to be capable of any regard towards us +except of hatred and contempt.</p> + +<p>Forty years are now passed since the Revolution, when +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> the contention of the British Empire was, most unfortunately for us, +and altogether against the usual course of such mighty changes in +government, decided in the least important nation; but with such ravages +and ruin executed on both sides, as to leave the kingdom a desert, which +in some sort it still continues. Neither did the long rebellions in +1641, make half such a destruction of houses, plantations, and personal +wealth, in both kingdoms, as two years campaigns did in ours, by +fighting England's battles.</p> + +<p>By slow degrees, and by the gentle treatment we received under two +auspicious reigns,<a name="FNanchor_41_41" id="FNanchor_41_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_41_41" class="fnanchor">[41]</a> we grew able to live without running in debt. Our +absentees were but few: we had great indulgence in trade, a considerable +share in employments of church and state; and while the short leases +continued, which were let some years after the war ended, tenants paid +their rents with ease and cheerfulness, to the great regret of their +landlords, who had taken up a spirit of oppression that is not easily +removed. And although, in these short leases, the rent was gradually to +increase after short periods, yet, as soon as the terms elapsed, the +land was let to the highest bidder, most commonly without the least +effectual clause for building or planting. Yet, by many advantages, +which this island then possessed, and hath since utterly lost, the rents +of lands still grew higher upon every lease that expired, till they have +arrived at the present exorbitance; when the frog, over-swelling +himself, burst at last.</p> + +<p>With the price of land of necessity rose that of corn and cattle, and +all other commodities that farmers deal in: hence likewise, obviously, +the rates of all goods and manufactures among shopkeepers, the wages of +servants, and hire of labourers. But although our miseries came on fast, +with neither trade nor money left; yet neither will the landlord abate +in his rent, nor can the tenant abate in the price of what that rent +must be paid with, nor any shopkeeper, tradesman, or labourer live, at +lower expense for food and clothing, than he did before.</p> + +<p>I have been the larger upon this first head, because the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> same observations will clear up and strengthen a good deal of what I +shall affirm upon the rest.</p> + +<p>The second maxim of those who reason upon trade and government, is, to +assert that "Low interest is a certain sign of great plenty of money in +a nation," for which, as in many other articles, they produce the +examples of Holland and England. But, with relation to Ireland, this +maxim is likewise entirely false.</p> + +<p>There are two reasons for the lowness of interest in any country. First, +that which is usually alleged, the great plenty of species; and this is +obvious. The second is, the want of trade, which seldom falls under +common observation, although it be equally true: for, where trade is +altogether discouraged, there are few borrowers. In those countries +where men can employ a large stock, the young merchant, whose fortune +may be four or five hundred pounds, will venture to borrow as much more, +and can afford a reasonable interest. Neither is it easy, at this day, +to find many of those, whose business reaches to employ even so +inconsiderable a sum, except among the importers of wine, who, as they +have most part of the present trade in these parts of Ireland in their +hands, so they are the most exorbitant, exacting, fraudulent dealers, +that ever trafficked in any nation, and are making all possible speed to +ruin both themselves and the nation.</p> + +<p>From this defect of gentlemen's not knowing how to dispose of their +ready money, ariseth the high purchase of lands, which in all other +countries is reckoned a sign of wealth. For, the frugal squires, who +live below their incomes, have no other way to dispose of their savings +but by mortgage or purchase, by which the rates of land must naturally +increase; and if this trade continues long, under the uncertainty of +rents, the landed men of ready money will find it more for their +advantage to send their cash to England, and place it in the funds; +which I myself am determined to do, the first considerable sum I shall +be master of.</p> + +<p>It hath likewise been a maxim among politicians, "That the great +increase of buildings in the metropolis, argues a flourishing state." +But this, I confess, hath been controlled from the example of London; +where, by the long and annual<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> parliamentary session, such a number of +senators, with their families, friends, adherents, and expectants, draw +such prodigious numbers to that city, that the old hospitable custom of +lords and gentlemen living in their ancient seats among their tenants, +is almost lost in England; is laughed out of doors; insomuch that, in +the middle of summer, a legal House of Lords and Commons might be +brought in a few hours to London, from their country villas within +twelve miles round.</p> + +<p>The case in Ireland is yet somewhat worse: For the absentees of great +estates, who, if they lived at home, would have many rich retainers in +their neighbourhoods, have learned to rack their lands, and shorten +their leases, as much as any residing squire; and the few remaining of +these latter, having some vain hope of employments for themselves, or +their children, and discouraged by the beggarliness and thievery of +their own miserable farmers and cottagers, or seduced by the vanity of +their wives, on pretence of their children's education (whereof the +fruits are so apparent,) together with that most wonderful, and yet more +unaccountable zeal, for a seat in their assembly, though at some years' +purchase of their whole estates: these, and some other motives better +let pass, have drawn such a concourse to this beggarly city, that the +dealers of the several branches of building have found out all the +commodious and inviting places for erecting new houses; while fifteen +hundred of the old ones, which is a seventh part of the whole city, are +said to be left uninhabited, and falling to ruin. Their method is the +same with that which was first introduced by Dr. Barebone at London, who +died a bankrupt.<a name="FNanchor_42_42" id="FNanchor_42_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_42_42" class="fnanchor">[42]</a> The mason, the bricklayer, the carpenter, the +slater, and the glazier, take a lot of ground, club to build one or more +houses, unite their credit, their stock, and their money; and when their +work is finished, sell it to the best advantage they can. But, as it +often happens, and more every day, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>that their fund will not answer half +their design, they are forced to undersell it at the first story, and +are all reduced to beggary. Insomuch, that I know a certain fanatic +brewer, who is reported to have some hundreds of houses in this town, is +said to have purchased the greater part of them at half value from +ruined undertakers; hath intelligence of all new houses where the +finishing is at a stand, takes advantage of the builder's distress, and, +by the advantage of ready money, gets fifty <i>per cent.</i> at least for his +bargain.</p> + +<p>It is another undisputed maxim in government, "That people are the +riches of a nation;" which is so universally granted, that it will be +hardly pardonable to bring it in doubt. And I will grant it to be so far +true, even in this island, that if we had the African custom, or +privilege, of selling our useless bodies for slaves to foreigners, it +would be the most useful branch of our trade, by ridding us of a most +unsupportable burthen, and bringing us money in the stead. But, in our +present situation, at least five children in six who are born, lie a +dead weight upon us, for want of employment. And a very skilful computer +assured me, that above one half of the souls in this kingdom supported +themselves by begging and thievery; whereof two thirds would be able to +get their bread in any other country upon earth.<a name="FNanchor_43_43" id="FNanchor_43_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_43_43" class="fnanchor">[43]</a> Trade is the only +incitement to labour; where that fails, the poorer native must either +beg, steal, or starve, or be forced to quit his country. This hath made +me often wish, for some years past, that instead of discouraging our +people from seeking foreign soil, the public would rather pay for +transporting all our unnecessary mortals, whether Papists or +Protestants, to America; as drawbacks are sometimes allowed for +exporting commodities, where a nation is over-stocked. I confess myself +to be touched with a very sensible <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span>pleasure, when I hear of a mortality +in any country parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay +for a filthy cabin, and two ridges of potatoes, treble the worth; +brought up to steal or beg, for want of work; to whom death would be the +best thing to be wished for on account both of themselves and the +public.<a name="FNanchor_44_44" id="FNanchor_44_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_44_44" class="fnanchor">[44]</a></p> + +<p>Among all taxes imposed by the legislature, those upon luxury are +universally allowed to be the most equitable, and beneficial to the +subject; and the commonest reasoner on government might fill a volume +with arguments on the subject. Yet here again, by the singular fate of +Ireland, this maxim is utterly false; and the putting it in practice may +have such pernicious a consequence, as, I certainly believe, the +thoughts of the proposers were not able to reach.</p> + +<p>The miseries we suffer by our absentees, are of a far more extensive +nature than seems to be commonly understood. I must vindicate myself to +the reader so far, as to declare solemnly, that what I shall say of +those lords and squires, doth not arise from the least regard I have for +their understandings, their virtues, or their persons: for, although I +have not the honour of the least acquaintance with any one among them, +(my ambition not soaring so high) yet I am too good a witness of the +situation they have been in for thirty years past; the veneration paid +them by the people, the high esteem they are in among the prime nobility +and gentry, the particular marks of favour and distinction they receive +from the Court; the weight and consequence of their interest, added to +their great zeal and application for preventing any hardships their +country might suffer from England, wisely considering that their own +fortunes and honours were embarked in the same bottom.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h3>BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,</h3> + +<h3>AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.</h3> + +<h4>PROPOSED TO CONTAIN ONE AND TWENTY VOLUMES IN QUARTO</h4> + +<p class='center'><i>Begun April 20, 1724. To be continued Weekly, if due Encouragement be +given.</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Swift's friends in Ireland were not many. He had no high opinion of +the people with whom he was compelled to live. But among those who +displeased him least, to use the phrase he employed in writing to +Pope, was a kindly and warm-hearted scholar named Sheridan. +Sheridan must have taken Swift's fancy, since they spent much time +together and wrote each other verses and nonsense rhymes. He had +failed in his attempt to keep up a school in Dublin, and refused +the headmastership of the school of Armagh which Lord Primate +Lindsay had offered him, through Swift's efforts. Swift however +obtained for him, from Carteret, one of the chaplaincies of the +Lord-Lieutenant and a small living near Cork. Unfortunately +Sheridan was struck off from the list of chaplains on the +information of one Richard Tighe who reported that Sheridan, on the +anniversary of the accession of the House of Hanover, had preached +from the text "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Poor +Sheridan had been totally unconscious of committing any +indiscretion, but he could not deny the fact.</p> + +<p>It was at Quilca, a small county village, near Kells, that Sheridan +was accustomed to spend his vacations with his family at a small +house he owned there. Swift used often to use this house, at +Sheridan's desire, and spent many days there in quiet enjoyment +with Mrs. Dingley and Esther Johnson. The place and his life there +he has attempted to describe in the following piece; but the +description may also stand, as Scott observes, as "no bad +supplement to Swift's account of Ireland."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text here given is based on that printed in the eighth volume +of the Edinburgh edition of 1761.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h3>BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,<br /> +AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.<a name="FNanchor_45_45" id="FNanchor_45_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_45_45" class="fnanchor">[45]</a></h3> + + +<p>But one lock and a half in the whole house.</p> + +<p>The key of the garden door lost.</p> + +<p>The empty bottles all uncleanable.</p> + +<p>The vessels for drink few and leaky.</p> + +<p>The new house all going to ruin before it is finished.</p> + +<p>One hinge of the street door broke off, and the people forced to go out +and come in at the back-door.</p> + +<p>The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks.</p> + +<p>The beaufet letting in so much wind that it almost blows out the +candles.</p> + +<p>The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him.</p> + +<p>The little table loose and broken in the joints.</p> + +<p>The passages open over head, by which the cats pass continually into the +cellar, and eat the victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and +executed by the sword.</p> + +<p>The large table in a very tottering condition.</p> + +<p>But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that in a very ill +state of health.</p> + +<p>The kitchen perpetually crowded with savages.</p> + +<p>Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country.</p> + +<p>Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the servants, till supplied +from Kells.</p> + +<p>An egregious want of all the most common necessary utensils.</p> + +<p>Not a bit of turf in this cold weather; and Mrs. Johnson<a name="FNanchor_46_46" id="FNanchor_46_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_46_46" class="fnanchor">[46]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> and the Dean in person, with all their servants, forced to assist at +the bog, in gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps.</p> + +<p>The grate in the ladies' bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by +which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking +intolerably; and the Dean's great-coat was employed to stop the wind +from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have +been starved to death.</p> + +<p>A messenger sent a mile to borrow an old broken tun-dish.</p> + +<p>Bottles stopped with bits of wood and tow, instead of corks.</p> + +<p>Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels +through the house, and is likewise employed to take the meat out of the +pot, for want of a flesh-fork.</p> + +<p>Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink, and every comer +and goer as arrant a thief of everything he or she can lay their hands +on.</p> + +<p>The spit blunted with poking into bogs for timber, and tears the meat to +pieces.</p> + +<p><i>Bellum atque foeminam</i>: or, A kitchen war between nurse and a nasty +crew of both sexes; she to preserve order and cleanliness, they to +destroy both; and they generally are conquerors.</p> + +<p><i>April</i> 28. This morning the great fore-door quite open, dancing +backwards and forwards with all its weight upon the lower hinge, which +must have been broken if the Dean had not accidentally come and relieved +it.</p> + +<p>A great hole in the floor of the ladies' chamber, every hour hazarding a +broken leg.</p> + +<p>Two damnable iron spikes erect on the Dean's bedstead, by which he is in +danger of a broken shin at rising and going to bed.</p> + +<p>The ladies' and Dean's servants growing fast into the manners and +thieveries of the natives; the ladies themselves very much corrupted; +the Dean perpetually storming, and m danger of either losing all his +flesh, or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dingley<a name="FNanchor_47_47" id="FNanchor_47_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_47_47" class="fnanchor">[47]</a> full of cares for herself, and blunders and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span> negligence for her friends. Mrs. Johnson sick and helpless. The Dean deaf +and fretting; the lady's maid awkward and clumsy; Robert lazy and +forgetful; William a pragmatical, ignorant, and conceited puppy; Robin +and nurse the two great and only supports of the family.</p> + +<p><i>Bellum lacteum</i>: or, The milky battle, fought between the Dean and the +crew of Quilca; the latter insisting on their privilege of not milking +till eleven in the forenoon; whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight +for her health. In this battle the Dean got the victory; but the crew of +Quilca begin to rebel again; for it is this day almost ten o'clock, and +Mrs. Johnson hath not got her milk.</p> + +<p>A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants: "The worse their +sty—the longer they lie."<a name="FNanchor_48_48" id="FNanchor_48_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_48_48" class="fnanchor">[48]</a></p> + +<p>Two great holes in the wall of the ladies' bed-chamber, just at the back +of the bed, and one of them directly behind Mrs. Johnson's pillow, +either of which would blow out a candle in the calmest day.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A SHORT VIEW</h4> + +<h5>OF</h5> + +<h3>THE STATE OF IRELAND.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></h3> + +<p class='center'><i>DUBLIN</i>:</p> + +<p class='center'>Printed by <i>S. HARDING</i>, next Door to the <i>Crown</i> in <i>Copper-Alley</i>,<br />1727-8.</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>This tract, written and published towards the end of the year 1728, +summarizes the disadvantages under which Ireland suffered at the +time, and re-enforces the contention that these were mainly due to +England's jealousy and stupid indifference. Swift, however, does +not lose sight of the fact that the people of Ireland also were +somewhat to blame, though in a much less degree.</p> + +<p>In Dublin, where tracts of this nature had now become almost +commonplace and where official interference in their publication +had been found unwise and even dangerous, the issue of the "Short +View" was effected without any official comment. In England, +however, where it was reprinted by Mist the journalist, it was +otherwise. Its publication brought down a prosecution on Mist, who, +no doubt, numbered this with the many others which were visited +upon him. It is an important tract, to which many historians of +Ireland have often referred.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is based on that of the first +edition and compared with that given by Sir Walter Scott.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A</h4> + +<h3>Short VIEW</h3> + +<h4>OF THE</h4> + +<h2>STATE</h2> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h2>IRELAND.</h2> + + +<p>I am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of +making men's court, when they are asked about the rate of lands, the +abilities of tenants, the state of trade and manufacture in this +Kingdom, and how their rents are paid, to answer, That in their +neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing condition, the rent and +purchase of land every day increasing. And if a gentleman happens to be +a little more sincere in his representations, besides being looked on as +not well affected, he is sure to have a dozen contradictors at his +elbow. I think it is no manner of secret why these questions are so +cordially asked, or so obligingly answered.</p> + +<p>But since with regard to the affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using +all endeavours to subdue my indignation, to which indeed I am not +provoked by any personal interest, being not the owner of one spot of +ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by rules generally +known, and never contradicted, what are the true causes of any country's +flourishing and growing rich, and then examine what effects arise from +those causes in the Kingdom of Ireland.</p> + +<p>The first cause of a Kingdom's thriving is the fruitfulness of the soil, +to produce the necessaries and conveniences of life, not only sufficient +for the inhabitants, but for exportation into other countries.</p> + +<p>The second, is the industry of the people in working up all their native +commodities to the last degree of manufacture.</p> + +<p>The third, is the conveniency of safe ports and havens, to carry out +their own goods, as much manufactured, and bring<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> in those of others, as +little manufactured as the nature of mutual commerce will allow.</p> + +<p>The fourth, is, That the natives should as much as possible, export and +import their goods in vessels of their own timber, made in their own +country.</p> + +<p>The fifth, is the liberty of a free trade in all foreign countries, +which will permit them, except those who are in war with their own +Prince or State.</p> + +<p>The sixth, is, by being governed only by laws made with their own +consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all +appeals for justice, or applications, for favour or preferment to +another country, are so many grievous impoverishments.</p> + +<p>The seventh, is, by improvement of land, encouragement of agriculture, +and thereby increasing the number of their people, without which any +country, however blessed by Nature, must continue poor.</p> + +<p>The eighth, is the residence of the Princes, or chief administrators of +the civil power.</p> + +<p>The ninth, is the concourse of foreigners for education, curiosity or +pleasure, or as to a general mart of trade.</p> + +<p>The tenth, is by disposing all offices of honour, profit or trust, only +to the natives, or at least with very few exceptions, where strangers +have long inhabited the country, and are supposed to understand, and +regard the interest of it as their own.</p> + +<p>The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and profits of employments, +are spent in the country which produced them, and not in another, the +former of which will certainly happen, where the love of our native +country prevails.</p> + +<p>The twelfth, is by the public revenues being all spent and employed at +home, except on the occasions of a foreign war.</p> + +<p>The thirteenth, is where the people are not obliged, unless they find it +for their own interest, or conveniency, to receive any monies, except of +their own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of all civilized +nations.</p> + +<p>The fourteenth, is a disposition of the people of a country to wear +their own manufactures, and import as few incitements to luxury, either +in clothes, furniture, food or drink, as they possibly can live +conveniently without.</p> + +<p>There are many other causes of a Nation's thriving, which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> I cannot at +present recollect; but without advantage from at least some of these, +after turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from +whence our wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better +informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to +Ireland of these causes, or of the effects and consequences.</p> + +<p>It is not my intention to complain, but barely to relate facts, and the +matter is not of small importance. For it is allowed, that a man who +lives in a solitary house far from help, is not wise in endeavouring to +acquire in the neighbourhood, the reputation of being rich, because +those who come for gold, will go off with pewter and brass, rather than +return empty; and in the common practice of the world, those who possess +most wealth, make the least parade, which they leave to others, who have +nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their faces on the Exchange.</p> + +<p>As to the first cause of a Nation's riches, being the fertility of the +soil, as well as temperature of climate, we have no reason to complain; +for although the quantity of unprofitable land in this Kingdom, +reckoning bog, and rock, and barren mountain, be double in proportion to +what it is in England, yet the native productions which both Kingdoms +deal in, are very near on equality in point of goodness, and might with +the same encouragement be as well manufactured. I except mines and +minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of +skill and industry.</p> + +<p>In the second, which is the industry of the people, our misfortune is +not altogether owing to our own fault, but to a million of +discouragements.</p> + +<p>The conveniency of ports and havens which Nature bestowed us so +liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful prospect to a man +shut up in a dungeon.</p> + +<p>As to shipping of its own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that +of all the excellent timber cut down within these fifty or sixty years, +it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the benefit of one +valuable house to dwell in, or one ship to trade with.</p> + +<p>Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient +or modern story, which was denied the liberty of exporting their native +commodities and manufactures wherever they pleased, except to countries +at war<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> with their own Prince or State, yet this by the superiority of +mere power is refused us in the most momentous parts of commerce,<a name="FNanchor_49_49" id="FNanchor_49_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_49_49" class="fnanchor">[49]</a> +besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down +upon us, and rigorously executed,<a name="FNanchor_50_50" id="FNanchor_50_50"></a><a href="#Footnote_50_50" class="fnanchor">[50]</a> and a thousand other unexampled +circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto +the rest.</p> + +<p>It is too well known that we are forced to obey some laws we never +consented to, which is a condition I must not call by its true +uncontroverted name for fear of my Lord Chief Justice Whitshed's ghost +with his <i>Libertas et natale solum</i>, written as a motto on his coach, as +it stood at the door of the court, while he was perjuring himself to +betray both.<a name="FNanchor_51_51" id="FNanchor_51_51"></a><a href="#Footnote_51_51" class="fnanchor">[51]</a> Thus, we are in the condition of patients who have +physic sent them by doctors at a distance, strangers to their +constitution, and the nature of their disease: And thus, we are forced +to pay five hundred <i>per cent.</i> to divide our properties, in all which +we have likewise the honour to be distinguished from the whole race of +mankind.</p> + +<p>As to improvement of land, those few who attempt that or planting, +through covetousness or want of skill, generally leave things worse than +they were, neither succeeding in trees <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>nor hedges, and by running into +the fancy of grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every day +depopulating the country.</p> + +<p>We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the +Viceroy is generally absent four-fifths of his time in the Government.</p> + +<p>No strangers from other countries make this a part of their travels, +where they can expect to see nothing but scenes of misery and +desolation.<a name="FNanchor_52_52" id="FNanchor_52_52"></a><a href="#Footnote_52_52" class="fnanchor">[52]</a></p> + +<p>Those who have the misfortune to be born here, have the least title to +any considerable employment to which they are seldom preferred, but upon +a political consideration.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p> + +<p>One third part of the rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with +the profit of employments, pensions, appeals, journeys of pleasure or +health, education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities, +remittances at pleasure, the pay of all superior officers in the army +and other incidents, will amount to a full half of the income of the +whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England.</p> + +<p>We are denied the liberty of coining gold, silver, or even copper. In +the Isle of Man, they coin their own silver, every petty Prince, vassal +to the Emperor, can coin what money he pleaseth.<a name="FNanchor_53_53" id="FNanchor_53_53"></a><a href="#Footnote_53_53" class="fnanchor">[53]</a> And in this as in +most of the articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other +States or Monarchies that were ever known in the world.</p> + +<p>As to the last, or fourteenth article, we take special care to act +diametrically contrary to it in the whole course of our lives. Both +sexes, but especially the women, despise and abhor to wear any of their +own manufactures, even those which are better made than in other +countries, particularly a sort of silk plaid, through which the workmen +are forced to run a sort of gold thread that it may pass for Indian. +Even ale and potatoes in great quantity are imported from England as +well as corn, and our foreign trade is little more than importation of +French wine, for which I am told we pay ready money.</p> + +<p>Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be +glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a rich and +flourishing people, without liberty, trade, manufactures, inhabitants, +money, or the privilege of coining; without industry, labour or +improvement of lands, and with more than half of the rent and profits of +the whole Kingdom, annually exported, for which we receive not a single +farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the +linen of the North, a trade casual, corrupted, and at mercy, and some +butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every law of +Nature and Reason, like the thorn at Glastonbury, that blossoms in the +midst of Winter.</p> + +<p>Let the worthy Commissioners who come from England<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> ride round the Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the face of +the natives, the improvement of the land, the thriving numerous +plantations, the noble woods, the abundance and vicinity of country +seats, the commodious farmers houses and barns, the towns and villages, +where everybody is busy and thriving with all kind of manufactures, the +shops full of goods wrought to perfection, and filled with customers, +the comfortable diet and dress, and dwellings of the people, the vast +numbers of ships in our harbours and docks, and shipwrights in our +sea-port towns. The roads crowded with carriers laden with rich +manufactures, the perpetual concourse to and fro of pompous equipages.</p> + +<p>With what envy and admiration would these gentlemen return from so +delightful a progress? What glorious reports would they make when they +went back to England?</p> + +<p>But my heart is too heavy to continue this journey<a name="FNanchor_54_54" id="FNanchor_54_54"></a><a href="#Footnote_54_54" class="fnanchor">[54]</a> longer, for it is +manifest that whatever stranger took such a journey, would be apt to +think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland,<a name="FNanchor_55_55" id="FNanchor_55_55"></a><a href="#Footnote_55_55" class="fnanchor">[55]</a> rather than in a +country so favoured by Nature as ours, both in fruitfulness of soil, and +temperature of climate. The miserable dress, and diet, and dwelling of +the people. The general desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old +seats of the nobility and gentry all in ruins, and no new ones in their +stead. The families of farmers who pay great rents, living in filth and +nastiness upon butter-milk and potatoes, without a shoe or stocking to +their feet, or a house so convenient as an English hog-sty to receive +them.<a name="FNanchor_56_56" id="FNanchor_56_56"></a><a href="#Footnote_56_56" class="fnanchor">[56]</a> These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English +spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the language, and +returns back to his own country, whither he finds all our wealth +transmitted.</p> + +<p class='center'> +<i>Nostrâ miseriâ magnus es.</i> +</p> + +<p>There is not one argument used to prove the riches of <span +class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg +90]</a></span>Ireland, which is not a logical demonstration of +its poverty. The rise of our rents is squeezed out of the very blood and +vitals, and clothes, and dwellings of the tenants who live worse than +English beggars. The lowness of interest, in all other countries a sign +of wealth, is in us a proof of misery, there being no trade to employ +any borrower. Hence alone comes the dearness of land, since the savers +have no other way to lay out their money. Hence the dearness of +necessaries for life, because the tenants cannot afford to pay such +extravagant rates for land (which they must take, or go a-begging) +without raising the price of cattle, and of corn, although they should +live upon chaff. Hence our increase of buildings in this City, because +workmen have nothing to do but employ one another, and one half of them +are infallibly undone. Hence the daily increase of bankers, who may be a +necessary evil in a trading country, but so ruinous in ours, who for +their private advantage have sent away all our silver, and one third of +our gold, so that within three years past the running cash of the +Nation, which was about five hundred thousand pounds, is now less than +two, and must daily diminish unless we have liberty to coin, as well as +that important Kingdom the Isle of Man, and the meanest Prince in the +German Empire, as I before observed.<a name="FNanchor_57_57" +id="FNanchor_57_57"></a><a href="#Footnote_57_57" +class="fnanchor">[57]</a></p> + +<p>I have sometimes thought, that this paradox of the Kingdom growing rich, +is chiefly owing to those worthy gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some +custom-house officers, birds of passage, oppressive thrifty squires, and +a few others that shall be nameless, are the only thriving people among +us: And I have often wished that a law were enacted to hang up half a +dozen bankers every year, and thereby interpose at least some short +delay, to the further ruin of Ireland.</p> + +<p>"Ye are idle, ye are idle," answered Pharaoh to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span> +Israelites, when they complained to his Majesty, that they were forced +to make bricks without straw.</p> + +<p>England enjoys every one of these advantages for enriching a Nation, +which I have above enumerated, and into the bargain, a good million +returned to them every year without labour or hazard, or one farthing +value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue +the payment, I am not under the least concern. One thing I know, that +<i>when the hen is starved to death, there will be no more golden eggs</i>.</p> + +<p>I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtile piece +of malice, that, because there may be a dozen families in this Town, +able to entertain their English friends in a generous manner at their +tables, their guests upon their return to England, shall report that we +wallow in riches and luxury.</p> + +<p>Yet I confess I have known an hospital, where all the household officers +grew rich, while the poor for whose sake it was built, were almost +starving for want of food and raiment.</p> + +<p>To conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, its wealth +and prosperity must be owing to certain causes, that are yet concealed +from the whole race of mankind, and the effects are equally invisible. +We need not wonder at strangers when they deliver such paradoxes, but a +native and inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same verdict, must +be either ignorant to stupidity, or a man-pleaser at the expense of all +honour, conscience and truth.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE STORY</h3> + +<h4>OF THE</h4> + +<h3>INJURED LADY.</h3> + +<h4>WRITTEN BY HERSELF.</h4> + +<h4>AND</h4> + +<h3>THE ANSWER TO THE</h3> + +<h3>INJURED LADY.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift represents +England, Scotland, and Ireland—England being the gentleman and +Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is affecting an +honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents her +rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She +expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his +treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some +searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards +Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the story.</p> + +<p>In "The Answer to the Injured Lady" which follows "The Story," +Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her +future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates what +he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but formulates +it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her that +she should look to it that her "family and tenants have no +dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old +agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have the +same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you +should both agree to"; that she shall be free to carry her goods to +any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to whom +she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an agreement +with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If she +will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are +gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in her +resentment.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the +earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated with +that given by Faulkner.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h3>STORY</h3> + +<h4>OF THE</h4> + +<h2>INJURED LADY.</h2> + + +<p class='center'>Being a true <span class="smcap">Picture</span> of</p> +<h4><span class="smcap">Scotch</span> Perfidy, <span class="smcap">Irish</span> +Poverty, and <span class="smcap">English</span> Partiality.</h4> + +<h4>WITH</h4> + +<h3>LETTERS and POEMS</h3> + +<h4>Never before Printed.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<h4>By the Rev. Dr. <span class="smcap">Swift,</span> D.S.P.D.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'><i>LONDON</i>,</p> + +<p class='center'>Printed for <span class="smcap">M. Cooper</span>, at the <i>Globe</i> in<br /> +<i>Pater-Noster-Row</i>. MDCCXLVI.<br /> +[Price One Shilling.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<h3>THE<br />STORY OF THE INJURED LADY.</h3> +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a +true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to +credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men.</p> + +<p>A gentleman<a name="FNanchor_58_58" id="FNanchor_58_58"></a><a href="#Footnote_58_58" class="fnanchor">[58]</a> in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and +myself;<a name="FNanchor_59_59" id="FNanchor_59_59"></a><a href="#Footnote_59_59" class="fnanchor">[59]</a> and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three +houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a +river,<a name="FNanchor_60_60" id="FNanchor_60_60"></a><a href="#Footnote_60_60" class="fnanchor">[60]</a> and from my rival's by an old broken wall.<a name="FNanchor_61_61" id="FNanchor_61_61"></a><a href="#Footnote_61_61" class="fnanchor">[61]</a> But before I +enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will +give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself.</p> + +<p>As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad +features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty +ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her +natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the +itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue, +honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her +education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common conversation. +To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by +pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who is now so fond +of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his +face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her house is frequented by a +company of rogues and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to +rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of +mischief.<a name="FNanchor_62_62" id="FNanchor_62_62"></a><a href="#Footnote_62_62" class="fnanchor">[62]</a> She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals, +and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force +him to pay for the trouble she was at. Once, attended with a crew of +ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy, +and then set it on fire. At the same time she told so many lies among +his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor <i>Steward</i> +was knocked on the head;<a name="FNanchor_63_63" id="FNanchor_63_63"></a><a href="#Footnote_63_63" class="fnanchor">[63]</a> for which I think, and so doth all the +Country, that she ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she +is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and +virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the +Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there +ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons.</p> + +<p>I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with +modesty and truth.</p> + +<p>I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I +became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair enough, +and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see me now +will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for +besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as +well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in. I might +add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now +turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been +the true cause of all my misfortunes.<a name="FNanchor_64_64" id="FNanchor_64_64"></a><a href="#Footnote_64_64" class="fnanchor">[64]</a></p> + +<p>Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or +fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish, +I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and +his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue +were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that +causeth such bitter reflections, I must <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span>confess with shame, that I was +undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins, +half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and protestations +of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon began to play the +usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all occasions to shew +his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he found fault with +the government of my family, which I grant, was none of the best, +consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that time, I knew +but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore, I agreed to +fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that his +steward<a name="FNanchor_65_65" id="FNanchor_65_65"></a><a href="#Footnote_65_65" class="fnanchor">[65]</a> should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an +under-steward,<a name="FNanchor_66_66" id="FNanchor_66_66"></a><a href="#Footnote_66_66" class="fnanchor">[66]</a> who should receive his directions. My lover proceeded +further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and supplying me +with others from his own house. These grew so domineering and +unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but +perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my +lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling +out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their stead +with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had no other +way to provide for.<a name="FNanchor_67_67" id="FNanchor_67_67"></a><a href="#Footnote_67_67" class="fnanchor">[67]</a> Overcome by love and to avoid noise and +contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in vain to +resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new servants, +and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table with the +best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land, and +treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as their +master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I had not +a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were of his +choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over the +greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he began +to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he would +answer, that I was an old <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>dependant upon his family, whom he had placed +on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly, +neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall +never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with +all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast +obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for +my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times +more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for +him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea: +That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able, +to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he expected +his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must maintain a +parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries to an +overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom he +would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me the +better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to +carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll +on both sides, and then sell them at half value.<a name="FNanchor_68_68" id="FNanchor_68_68"></a><a href="#Footnote_68_68" class="fnanchor">[68]</a> But because we were +a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch anything +we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to employ his own +folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his market just in their +naturals;<a name="FNanchor_69_69" id="FNanchor_69_69"></a><a href="#Footnote_69_69" class="fnanchor">[69]</a> the milk immediately from the cow without making it into +cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass as it is mowed; the +wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring the fruit upon the +branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after our filthy hands: +That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and cheese to eat by the +way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings, he should forfeit his +whole parcel: And because a company of rogues usually plied on the river +between us, who often robbed my tenants of their goods and boats, he +ordered a waterman of his to guard them, whose manner was to be out of +the way until the poor wretches were plundered; then to overtake the +thieves, and seize all as lawful prize to his master and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>himself. It +would be endless to repeat a hundred other hardships he hath put upon +me; but it is a general rule, that whenever he imagines the smallest +advantage will redound to one of his footboys by any new oppression of +me and my whole family and estate, he never disputeth it a moment. All +this hath rendered me so very insignificant and contemptible at home, +that some servants to whom I pay the greatest wages, and many tenants +who have the most beneficial leases, are gone over to live with him; yet +I am bound to continue their wages, and pay their rents;<a name="FNanchor_70_70" id="FNanchor_70_70"></a><a href="#Footnote_70_70" class="fnanchor">[70]</a> by which +means one third part of my whole income is spent on his estate, and +above another third by his tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so +sunk and impoverished, that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my +quality, they can hardly find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the +common necessaries of life for themselves.</p> + +<p>Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received +intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing +overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some +misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened +to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having either +acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as tame a +fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but hearing at +the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private proposals to +join with me against him, and doubting, with very good reason, that I +would readily accept them, he seemed very much disconcerted.<a name="FNanchor_71_71" id="FNanchor_71_71"></a><a href="#Footnote_71_71" class="fnanchor">[71]</a> This I +thought was a proper occasion to shew some great example of generosity +and love, and so, without further consideration, I sent him word, that +hearing there was likely to be a quarrel between him and my rival; +notwithstanding all that had passed, and without binding him to any +conditions in my own favour, I would stand by him against her and all +the world, while I had a penny in my purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This +message was subscribed by all my chief tenants; and proved so powerful, +that my rival imme<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>diately grew more tractable upon it. The result of +which was, that there is now a treaty of marriage concluded between +them,<a name="FNanchor_72_72" id="FNanchor_72_72"></a><a href="#Footnote_72_72" class="fnanchor">[72]</a> the wedding clothes are bought, and nothing remaineth but to +perform the ceremony, which is put off for some days, because they +design it to be a public wedding. And to reward my love, constancy, and +generosity, he hath bestowed on me the office of being sempstress to his +grooms and footmen, which I am forced to accept or starve.<a name="FNanchor_73_73" id="FNanchor_73_73"></a><a href="#Footnote_73_73" class="fnanchor">[73]</a> Yet, in +the midst of this my situation, I cannot but have some pity for this +deluded man, to cast himself away on an infamous creature, who, whatever +she pretendeth, I can prove, would at this very minute rather be a whore +to a certain great man, that shall be nameless, if she might have her +will.<a name="FNanchor_74_74" id="FNanchor_74_74"></a><a href="#Footnote_74_74" class="fnanchor">[74]</a> For my part, I think, and so doth all the country too, that +the man is possessed; at least none of us are able to imagine what he +can possibly see in her, unless she hath bewitched him, or given him +some powder.</p> + +<p>I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness, +that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I +could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads higher, +would be glad to accept.<a name="FNanchor_75_75" id="FNanchor_75_75"></a><a href="#Footnote_75_75" class="fnanchor">[75]</a> But alas! I never had any such wicked +thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to be free +from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he will let me +manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for which I will +undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year, much more +considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he must needs +find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my tenants so +dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves. There is one +imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think unsufferable, and +will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether it be so or not. I +told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to have the same +steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate my family and +estate <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>by the same method with him, which he then shewed me writ down +in form, and I approved of.<a name="FNanchor_76_76" id="FNanchor_76_76"></a><a href="#Footnote_76_76" class="fnanchor">[76]</a> Now, the turn he thinks fit to give this +compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends that whatever +orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in his family, he +may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without asking my advice, +or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a lease without his +consent, or give any directions for the well-governing of my family, but +what he countermands whenever he pleaseth. This leaveth me at such +confusion and uncertainty, that my servants know not when to obey me, +and my tenants, although many of them be very well inclined, seem quite +at a loss.</p> + +<p>But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I +hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth +upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice what +measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour, to +protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities I +lie under from that unkind, inconstant man.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Madam</span>,</p> + +<p>I have received your Ladyship's letter, and carefully considered every +part of it, and shall give you my opinion how you ought to proceed for +your own security. But first, I must beg leave to tell your Ladyship, +that you were guilty of an unpardonable weakness t'other day in making +that offer to your lover, of standing by him in any quarrel he might +have with your rival. You know very well, that she began to apprehend he +had designs of using her as he had done you; and common prudence might +have directed you rather to have entered into some measures with her for +joining against him, until he might at least be brought to some +reasonable terms: But your invincible hatred to that lady hath carried +your resentments so high, as to be the cause of your ruin; yet, if you +please to consider, this aversion of yours began a good while before she +became your rival, and was taken up by you and your family in a sort of +compliment to your lover, who formerly had a great abhorrence for her. +It is true, since that time you have suffered very much by her +encroachments upon your estate,<a name="FNanchor_77_77" id="FNanchor_77_77"></a><a href="#Footnote_77_77" class="fnanchor">[77]</a> but she never pretended to govern or +direct you: And now you have drawn a new enemy upon yourself; for I +think you may count upon all the ill offices she can possibly do you by +her credit with her husband; whereas, if, instead of openly declaring +against her without any provocation, you had but sat still awhile, and +said nothing, that gentleman would have lessened his severity to you out +of perfect fear. This weakness of yours, you call generosity; but I +doubt there was more in the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span>matter. In short, Madam, I have good +reasons to think you were betrayed to it by the pernicious counsels of +some about you: For to my certain knowledge, several of your tenants and +servants, to whom you have been very kind, are as arrant rascals as any +in the Country. I cannot but observe what a mighty difference there is +in one particular between your Ladyship and your rival. Having yielded +up your person, you thought nothing else worth defending, and therefore +you will not now insist upon those very conditions for which you yielded +at first. But your Ladyship cannot be ignorant, that some years since +your rival did the same thing, and upon no conditions at all; nay, this +gentleman kept her as a miss, and yet made her pay for her diet and +lodging.<a name="FNanchor_78_78" id="FNanchor_78_78"></a><a href="#Footnote_78_78" class="fnanchor">[78]</a> But, it being at a time when he had no steward, and his +family out of order, she stole away, and hath now got the trick very +well known among the women of the town, to grant a man the favour over +night and the next day have the impudence to deny it to his face. But, +it is too late to reproach you with any former oversights, which cannot +now be rectified. I know the matters of fact as you relate them are true +and fairly represented. My advice therefore is this. Get your tenants +together as soon as you conveniently can, and make them agree to the +following resolutions.</p> + +<p><i>First</i>, That your family and tenants have no dependence upon the said +gentleman, further than by the old agreement, which obligeth you to have +the same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you +should both agree to.<a name="FNanchor_79_79" id="FNanchor_79_79"></a><a href="#Footnote_79_79" class="fnanchor">[79]</a></p> + +<p><i>Secondly</i>, That you will not carry your goods to the market of his +town, unless you please, nor be hindered from carrying them anywhere +else.<a name="FNanchor_80_80" id="FNanchor_80_80"></a><a href="#Footnote_80_80" class="fnanchor">[80]</a></p> + +<p><i>Thirdly</i>, That the servants you pay wages to shall live at home, or +forfeit their places.<a name="FNanchor_81_81" id="FNanchor_81_81"></a><a href="#Footnote_81_81" class="fnanchor">[81]</a></p> + +<p><i>Fourthly</i>, That whatever lease you make to a tenant, it shall not be in +his power to break it.<a name="FNanchor_82_82" id="FNanchor_82_82"></a><a href="#Footnote_82_82" class="fnanchor">[82]</a></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p><p>If he will agree to these articles, I advise you to contribute as +largely as you can to all charges of Parish and County.</p> + +<p>I can assure you, several of that gentleman's ablest tenants and +servants are against his severe usage of you, and would be glad of an +occasion to convince the rest of their error, if you will not be wanting +to yourself.</p> + +<p>If the gentleman refuses these just and reasonable offers, pray let me +know it, and perhaps I may think of something else that will be more +effectual.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">I am,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Madam,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">Your Ladyship's, etc.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>AN</h4> + +<h3>ANSWER TO A PAPER,</h3> + +<h4>CALLED</h4> + +<h3>"A MEMORIAL</h3> + +<h4>OF THE</h4> + +<h4>POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."</h4> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in the Year</span> 1728.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>This is, perhaps, as trenchant and fine a piece of writing as is to +be found in any of those pamphlets Swift wrote for the alleviation +of the miserable condition of Ireland. The author of the "Memorial" +to which Swift made this passionate reply was Sir John Browne, and +the purport of his writing may be easily gathered from Swift's +animadversions.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text here given is based on that printed by Faulkner in 1735 in +the fourth volume of his collected edition of Swift's works. Scott +reprints Browne's "Memorial" and his reply to the present "Answer," +but they are of little importance and in no way assist us in our +appreciation of Swift's work. The date of Swift's answer is given +by Faulkner as "March 25th, 1728," which year Scott misprints 1738, +evidently a printer's error, though the arrangement of the order of +the pamphlets in his edition leaves much to be desired.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>AN ANSWER TO A PAPER, CALLED<br /> +"A MEMORIAL</h3> + +<h5>OF THE</h5> + +<h4>POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."</h4> + + +<p>I received a paper from you, wherever you are, printed without any name +of author or printer, and sent, I suppose, to me among others, without +any particular distinction. It contains a complaint of the dearness of +corn, and some schemes of making it cheaper which I cannot approve of.</p> + +<p>But pray permit me, before I go further, to give you a short history of +the steps by which we arrived at this hopeful situation.</p> + +<p>It was, indeed, the shameful practice of too many Irish farmers, to wear +out their ground with ploughing; while, either through poverty, +laziness, or ignorance, they neither took care to manure it as they +ought, nor gave time to any part of the land to recover itself; and, +when their leases are near expiring, being assured that their landlords +would not renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made such a havock, +that many landlords were considerable sufferers by it.</p> + +<p>This gave birth to that abominable race of graziers, who, upon +expiration of the farmer's leases were ready to engross great quantities +of land; and the gentlemen having been before often ill paid, and their +land worn out of heart, were too easily tempted, when a rich grazier +made him an offer to take all his land, and give his security for +payment. Thus a vast<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> tract of land, where twenty or thirty farmers +lived, together with their cottagers and labourers in their several +cabins, became all desolate, and easily managed by one or two herdsmen +and their boys; whereby the master-grazier, with little trouble, seized +to himself the livelihood of a hundred people.</p> + +<p>It must be confessed, that the farmers were justly punished for their +knavery, brutality, and folly. But neither are the squires and landlords +to be excused; for to them is owing the depopulating of the country, the +vast number of beggars, and the ruin of those few sorry improvements we +had.</p> + +<p>That farmers should be limited in ploughing is very reasonable, and +practised in England, and might have easily been done here by penal +clauses in their leases; but to deprive them, in a manner, altogether +from tilling their lands, was a most stupid want of thinking.</p> + +<p>Had the farmers been confined to plough a certain quantity of land, with +a penalty of ten pounds an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther +limited for the three or four last years of their leases, all this evil +had been prevented; the nation would have saved a million of money, and +been more populous by above two hundred thousand souls.</p> + +<p>For a people, denied the benefit of trade, to manage their lands in such +a manner as to produce nothing but what they are forbidden to trade +with,<a name="FNanchor_83_83" id="FNanchor_83_83"></a><a href="#Footnote_83_83" class="fnanchor">[83]</a> or only such things as they can neither export nor manufacture +to advantage, is an absurdity that a wild Indian would be ashamed of; +especially when we add, that we are content to purchase this hopeful +commerce, by sending to foreign markets for our daily bread.</p> + +<p>The grazier's employment is to feed great flocks of sheep, or black +cattle, or both. With regard to sheep, as folly is usually accompanied +with perverseness, so it is here. There is something so monstrous to +deal in a commodity (further than for our own use) which we are not +allowed to export manufactured, nor even unmanufactured, but to one +certain country, and only to some few ports in that country;<a name="FNanchor_84_84" id="FNanchor_84_84"></a><a href="#Footnote_84_84" class="fnanchor">[84]</a> there +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>is, I say, something so sottish, that it wants a name in our language +to express it by: and the good of it is, that the more sheep we have, +the fewer human creatures are left to wear the wool, or eat the flesh. +Ajax was mad, when he mistook a flock of sheep for his enemies; but we +shall never be sober, until we have the same way of thinking.</p> + +<p>The other part of the grazier's business is, what we call black-cattle, +producing hides, tallow, and beef for exportation: all which are good +and useful commodities, if rightly managed. But it seems, the greatest +part of the hides are sent out raw, for want of bark to tan them; and +that want will daily grow stronger; for I doubt the new project of +tanning without it is at an end. Our beef, I am afraid, still continues +scandalous in foreign markets, for the old reasons. But our tallow, for +anything I know, may be good. However, to bestow the whole kingdom on +beef and mutton, and thereby drive out half the people who should eat +their share, and force the rest to send sometimes as far as Egypt for +bread to eat with it, is a most peculiar and distinguished piece of +public economy, of which I have no comprehension.</p> + +<p>I know very well that our ancestors the Scythians, and their posterity +our kinsmen the Tartars, lived upon the blood, and milk, and raw flesh +of their cattle, without one grain of corn; but I confess myself so +degenerate, that I am not easy without bread to my victuals.</p> + +<p>What amazed me for a week or two, was to see, in this prodigious plenty +of cattle, and dearth of human creatures, and want of bread, as well as +money to buy it, that all kind of flesh-meat should be monstrously dear, +beyond what was ever known in this kingdom. I thought it a defect in the +laws, that there was not some regulation in the price of flesh, as well +as bread: but I imagine myself to have guessed out the reason: In short, +I am apt to think that the whole kingdom is overstocked with cattle, +both black and white; and as it is observed, that the poor Irish have a +vanity to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> rather owners of two lean cows, than one fat, although +with double the charge of grazing, and but half the quantity of milk; so +I conceive it much more difficult at present to find a fat bullock or +wether, than it would be if half of both were fairly knocked on the +head: for I am assured that the district in the several markets called +Carrion Row is as reasonable as the poor can desire; only the +circumstance of money to purchase it, and of trade, or labour, to +purchase that money, are indeed wholly wanting.</p> + +<p>Now, sir, to return more particularly to you and your memorial.</p> + +<p>A hundred thousand barrels of wheat, you say, should be imported hither; +and ten thousand pounds premium to the importers. Have you looked into +the purse of the nation? I am no commissioner of the treasury; but am +well assured that the whole running cash would not supply you with a sum +to purchase so much corn, which, only at twenty shillings a barrel, will +be a hundred thousand pounds; and ten thousand more for the premiums. +But you will traffic for your corn with other goods: and where are those +goods? if you had them, they are all engaged to pay the rents of +absentees, and other occasions in London, besides a huge balance of +trade this year against us. Will foreigners take our bankers' papers? I +suppose they will value it at little more than so much a quire. Where +are these rich farmers and engrossers of corn, in so bad a year, and so +little sowing?</p> + +<p>You are in pain of two shillings premium, and forget the twenty +shillings for the price; find me out the latter, and I will engage for +the former.</p> + +<p>Your scheme for a tax for raising such a sum is all visionary, and owing +to a great want of knowledge in the <i>miserable state</i> of this nation. +Tea, coffee, sugar, spices, wine, and foreign clothes, are the +particulars you mention upon which this tax should be raised. I will +allow the two first; because they are unwholesome; and the last, because +I should be glad if they were all burned: but I beg you will leave us +our wine to make us a while forget our misery; or give your tenants +leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a secret, which I +learned many years ago from the commissioners of the customs in London: +they said, when any<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> commodity appeared to be taxed above a moderate +rate, the consequence was, to lessen that branch of the revenue by one +half; and one of those gentlemen pleasantly told me, that the mistake of +parliaments, on such occasions, was owing to an error of computing two +and two to make four; whereas, in the business of laying impositions, +two and two never made more than one; which happens by lessening the +import, and the strong temptation of running such goods as paid high +duties. At least in this kingdom, although the women are as vain and +extravagant as their lovers or their husbands can deserve, and the men +are fond enough of wine; yet the number of both who can afford such +expenses is so small, that the major part must refuse gratifying +themselves, and the duties will rather be lessened than increased. But, +allowing no force in this argument; yet so preternatural a sum as one +hundred and ten thousand pounds, raised all on a sudden, (for there is +no dallying with hunger,) is just in proportion with raising a million +and a half in England; which, as things now stand, would probably bring +that opulent kingdom under some difficulties.</p> + +<p>You are concerned how strange and surprising it would be in foreign +parts to hear that the poor were starving in a <span class="smcap">rich</span> country, +&c. Are you in earnest? Is Ireland the rich country you mean? Or are you +insulting our poverty? Were you ever out of Ireland? Or were you ever in +it till of late? You may probably have a good employment, and are saving +all you can to purchase a good estate in England. But by talking so +familiarly of one hundred and ten thousand pounds, by a tax upon a few +commodities, it is plain you are either naturally or affectedly ignorant +of our present condition: or else you would know and allow, that such a +sum is not to be raised here, without a general excise; since, in +proportion to our wealth, we pay already in taxes more than England ever +did in the height of the war. And when you have brought over your corn, +who will be the buyers? Most certainly not the poor, who will not be +able to purchase the twentieth part of it.</p> + +<p>Sir, upon the whole, your paper is a very crude piece, liable to more +objections than there are lines; but I think your meaning is good, and +so far you are pardonable.</p> + +<p>If you will propose a general contribution in supporting<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> the poor in +potatoes and butter-milk, till the new corn comes in, perhaps you may +succeed better, because the thing at least is possible; and I think if +our brethren in England would contribute upon this emergency, out of the +million they gain from us every year, they would do a piece of justice +as well as charity. In the mean time, go and preach to your own tenants, +to fall to the plough as fast as they can; and prevail with your +neighbouring squires to do the same with theirs; or else die with the +guilt of having driven away half the inhabitants, and starving the rest. +For as to your scheme of raising one hundred and ten thousand pounds, it +is as vain as that of Rabelais; which was, to squeeze out wind from the +posteriors of a dead ass.</p> + +<p>But why all this concern for the poor? We want them not, as the country +is now managed; they may follow thousands of their leaders, and seek +their bread abroad. Where the plough has no work, one family can do the +business of fifty, and you may send away the other forty-nine. An +admirable piece of husbandry, never known or practised by the wisest +nations, who erroneously thought people to be the riches of a country!</p> + +<p>If so wretched a state of things would allow it, methinks I could have a +malicious pleasure, after all the warning I have in vain given the +public, at my own peril, for several years past, to see the consequences +and events answering in every particular. I pretend to no sagacity: what +I writ was little more than what I had discoursed to several persons, +who were generally of my opinion; and it was obvious to every common +understanding, that such effects must needs follow from such causes;—a +fair issue of things begun upon party rage, while some sacrificed the +public to fury, and others to ambition: while a spirit of faction and +oppression reigned in every part of the country, where gentlemen, +instead of consulting the ease of their tenants, or cultivating their +lands, were worrying one another upon points of Whig and Tory, of High +Church and Low Church; which no more concerned them than the long and +famous controversy of strops for razors: while agriculture was wholly +discouraged, and consequently half the farmers and labourers, and poorer +tradesmen, forced to beggary or banishment. "Wisdom crieth in the +streets:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> Because I have called on ye; I have stretched out my hand, and +no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all my counsels, and would +none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity, and mock when +your fear cometh."</p> + +<p>I have now done with your Memorial, and freely excuse your mistakes, +since you appear to write as a stranger, and as of a country which is +left at liberty to enjoy the benefits of nature, and to make the best of +those advantages which God hath given it, in soil, climate, and +situation.</p> + +<p>But having lately sent out a paper, entitled, <i>A Short View of the State +of Ireland</i>; and hearing of an objection, that some people think I have +treated the memory of the late Lord Chief Justice Whitshed with an +appearance of severity; since I may not probably have another +opportunity of explaining myself in that particular, I choose to do it +here. Laying it, therefore, down for a postulatum, which I suppose will +be universally granted, that no little creature of so mean a birth and +genius, had ever the honour to be a greater enemy to his country, and to +all kinds of virtue, than HE, I answer thus; Whether there be two +different goddesses called Fame, as some authors contend, or only one +goddess sounding two different trumpets, it is certain that people +distinguished for their villainy have as good a title for a blast from +the proper trumpet, as those who are most renowned for their virtues +have from the other; and have equal reason to complain if it be refused +them. And accordingly the names of the most celebrated profligates have +been faithfully transmitted down to posterity. And although the person +here understood acted his part in an obscure corner of the world, yet +his talents might have shone with lustre enough in the noblest scene.</p> + +<p>As to my naming a person dead, the plain honest reason is the best. He +was armed with power, guilt, and will to do mischief, even where he was +not provoked, as appeared by his prosecuting two printers,<a name="FNanchor_85_85" id="FNanchor_85_85"></a><a href="#Footnote_85_85" class="fnanchor">[85]</a> one to +death, and both to ruin, who had neither offended God nor the King, nor +him nor the public.</p> + +<p>What an encouragement to vice is this! If an ill man be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span>alive, and in +power, we dare not attack him; and if he be weary of the world, or of +his own villainies, he has nothing to do but die, and then his +reputation is safe. For these excellent casuists know just Latin enough +to have heard a most foolish precept, that <i>de mortuis nil nisi bonum</i>; +so that if Socrates, and Anytus his accuser, had happened to die +together, the charity of survivors must either have obliged them to hold +their peace, or to fix the same character on both. The only crime of +charging the dead is, when the least doubt remains whether the +accusation be true; but when men are openly abandoned, and lost to all +shame, they have no reason to think it hard if their memory be +reproached. Whoever reports, or otherwise publisheth, any thing which it +is possible may be false, that man is a slanderer; <i>hic niger est, hunc +tu, Romane, caveto</i>. Even the least misrepresentation, or aggravation of +facts, deserves the same censure, in some degree, but in this case, I am +quite deceived if my error hath not been on the side of extenuation.</p> + +<p>I have now present before me the idea of some persons (I know not in +what part of the world) who spend every moment of their lives, and every +turn of their thoughts, while they are awake, (and probably of their +dreams while they sleep,) in the most detestable actions and designs; +who delight in mischief, scandal, and obloquy, with the hatred and +contempt of all mankind against them, but chiefly of those among their +own party and their own family; such whose odious qualities rival each +other for perfection: avarice, brutality, faction, pride, malice, +treachery, noise, impudence, dullness, ignorance, vanity, and revenge, +contending every moment for superiority in their breasts. Such creatures +are not to be reformed, neither is it prudence or safety to attempt a +reformation. Yet, although their memories will rot, there may be some +benefit for their survivors to smell it while it is rotting.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">I am, Sir,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Your humble servant,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 18em;">A. B.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dublin,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">March 25th, 1728.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ANSWER</h2> + +<h2>TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN<br /> +PERSONS.<a name="FNanchor_86_86" id="FNanchor_86_86"></a><a href="#Footnote_86_86" class="fnanchor">[86]</a></h2> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in the Year</span> 1729.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS<br />FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS.<a name="FNanchor_87_87" id="FNanchor_87_87"></a><a href="#Footnote_87_87" class="fnanchor">[87]</a></h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Gentlemen</span>,</p> + +<p>I am inclined to think that I received a letter from you two, last +summer, directed to Dublin, while I was in the country, whither it was +sent me; and I ordered an answer to it to be printed, but it seems it +had little effect, and I suppose this will have not much more. But the +heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, +and their eyes they have closed. And, gentlemen, I am to tell you +another thing: That the world is so regardless of what we write for the +public good, that after we have delivered our thoughts, without any +prospect of advantage, or of reputation, which latter is not to be had +but by subscribing our names, we cannot prevail upon a printer to be at +the charge of sending it into the world, unless we will be at all or +half the expense; and although we are willing enough to bestow our +labours, we think it unreasonable to be out of pocket; because it +probably may not consist with the situation of our affairs.</p> + +<p>I do very much approve your good intentions, and in a great measure your +manner of declaring them; and I do imagine you intended that the world +should not only know your sentiments, but my answer, which I shall +impartially give.</p> + +<p>That great prelate, to whose care you directed your letter, sent it to +me this morning;<a name="FNanchor_88_88" id="FNanchor_88_88"></a><a href="#Footnote_88_88" class="fnanchor">[88]</a> and I begin my answer to-night, not knowing what +interruption I may meet with.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span></p><p>I have ordered your letter to be printed, as it ought to be, along with +my answer; because I conceive it will be more acceptable and informing +to the kingdom.</p> + +<p>I shall therefore now go on to answer your letter in all manner of +sincerity.</p> + +<p>Although your letter be directed to me, yet I take myself to be only an +imaginary person; for, although I conjecture I had formerly one from +you, yet I never answered it otherwise than in print; neither was I at a +loss to know the reasons why so many people of this kingdom were +transporting themselves to America. And if this encouragement were owing +to a pamphlet written, giving an account of the country of Pennsylvania, +to tempt people to go thither, I do declare that those who were tempted, +by such a narrative, to such a journey, were fools, and the author a +most impudent knave; at least, if it be the same pamphlet I saw when it +first came out, which is above 25 years ago, dedicated to Will Penn +(whom by a mistake you call "Sir William Penn,") and styling him, by +authority of the Scripture, "Most Noble Governor." For I was very well +acquainted with Penn, and did, some years after, talk with him upon that +pamphlet, and the impudence of the author, who spoke so many things in +praise of the soil and climate, which Penn himself did absolutely +contradict. For he did assure me that his country wanted the shelter of +mountains, which left it open to the northern winds from Hudson's Bay +and the Frozen Sea, which destroyed all plantations of trees, and was +even pernicious to all common vegetables. But, indeed, New York, +Virginia, and other parts less northward, or more defended by mountains, +are described as excellent countries: but, upon what conditions of +advantage foreigners go thither, I am yet to seek.<a name="FNanchor_89_89" id="FNanchor_89_89"></a><a href="#Footnote_89_89" class="fnanchor">[89]</a></p> + +<p>What evils do our people avoid by running from hence, is easier to be +determined. They conceive themselves to live under the tyranny of most +cruel exacting landlords, who have no view further than increasing their +rent-rolls. Secondly, you complain of the want of trade, whereof you +seem not to know the reason. Thirdly, you lament most <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>justly the money +spent by absentees in England. Fourthly, you complain that your linen +manufacture declines. Fifthly, that your tithe-collectors oppress you. +Sixthly, that your children have no hopes of preferment in the church, +the revenue, or the army; to which you might have added the law, and all +civil employments whatsoever. Seventhly, you are undone for silver, and +want all other money.</p> + +<p>I could easily add some other motives, which, to men of spirit, who +desire and expect, and think they deserve the common privileges of human +nature, would be of more force, than any you have yet named, to drive +them out of this kingdom. But, as these speculations may probably not +much affect the brains of your people, I shall choose to let them pass +unmentioned. Yet I cannot but observe, that my very good and virtuous +friend, his excellency Burnet, (<i>O fili, nec tali indigne parente!</i>)<a name="FNanchor_90_90" id="FNanchor_90_90"></a><a href="#Footnote_90_90" class="fnanchor">[90]</a> +hath not hitherto been able to persuade his vassals, by his oratory in +the style of a command, to settle a revenue on his viceroyal person.<a name="FNanchor_91_91" id="FNanchor_91_91"></a><a href="#Footnote_91_91" class="fnanchor">[91]</a> +I have been likewise assured, that in one of those colonies on the +continent, which nature hath so far favoured, as (by the industry of the +inhabitants) to produce a great quantity of excellent rice, the +stubbornness of the people, who having been told that the world is wide, +took it into their heads that they might sell their own rice at whatever +foreign markets they pleased, and seem, by their practice, very +unwilling to quit that opinion.</p> + +<p>But, to return to my subject: I must confess to you both, that if one +reason of your people's deserting us be, the despair of things growing +better in their own country, I have not one syllable to answer; because +that would be to hope for what is impossible; and so I have been telling +the public these ten years. For there are three events which must +precede any such blessing: First, a liberty of trade; secondly, a share +of preferments in all kinds, to the British natives; and thirdly, a +return of those absentees, who take almost one half <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>of the kingdom's +revenues. As to the first, there is nothing left us but despair; and for +the third, it will never happen till the kingdom hath no money to send +them; for which, in my own particular, I should not be sorry.</p> + +<p>The exaction of landlords hath indeed been a grievance of above twenty +years' standing. But as to what you object about the severe clauses +relating to improvement, the fault lies wholly on the other side: for +the landlords, either by their ignorance, or greediness of making large +rent-rolls, have performed this matter so ill, as we see by experience, +that there is not one tenant in five hundred who hath made any +improvement worth mentioning. For which I appeal to any man who rides +through the kingdom, where little is to be found among the tenants but +beggary and desolation; the cabins of the Scotch themselves, in Ulster, +being as dirty and miserable as those of the wildest Irish. Whereas good +firm penal clauses for improvement, with a tolerable easy rent, and a +reasonable period of time, would, in twenty years, have increased the +rents of Ireland at least a third part in the intrinsic value.</p> + +<p>I am glad to hear you speak with some decency of the clergy, and to +impute the exactions you lament to the managers or farmers of the +tithes. But you entirely mistake the fact; for I defy the most wicked +and most powerful clergymen in the kingdom to oppress the meanest farmer +in the parish; and I likewise defy the same clergyman to prevent himself +from being cheated by the same farmer, whenever that farmer shall be +disposed to be knavish or peevish. For, although the Ulster +tithing-teller is more advantageous to the clergy than any other in the +kingdom, yet the minister can demand no more than his tenth; and where +the corn much exceeds the small tithes, as, except in some districts, I +am told it always doth, he is at the mercy of every stubborn farmer, +especially of those whose sect as well as interest incline them to +opposition. However, I take it that your people bent for America do not +shew the best part of their prudence in making this one part of their +complaint: yet they are so far wise, as not to make the payment of +tithes a scruple of conscience, which is too gross for any Protestant +dissenter, except a Quaker, to pretend. But do your people indeed think, +that if tithes were abolished, or delivered into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> the hands of the +landlord, after the blessed manner in the Scotch spiritual economy, that +the tenant would sit easier in his rent under the same person, who must +be lord of the soil and of the tithe together?</p> + +<p>I am ready enough to grant, that the oppression of landlords, the utter +ruin of trade, with its necessary consequence the want of money, half +the revenues of the kingdom spent abroad, the continued dearth of three +years, and the strong delusion in your people by false allurement from +America, may be the chief motives of their eagerness after such an +expedition. [But there is likewise another temptation, which is not of +inconsiderable weight; which is their itch of living in a country where +their sect is predominant, and where their eyes and consciences would +not be offended by the stumbling-block of ceremonies, habits, and +spiritual titles.<a name="FNanchor_92_92" id="FNanchor_92_92"></a><a href="#Footnote_92_92" class="fnanchor">[92]</a>]</p> + +<p>But I was surprised to find that those calamities, whereof we are +innocent, have been sufficient to drive many families out of their +country, who had no reason to complain of oppressive landlords. For, +while I was last year in the northern parts, a person of quality, whose +estate was let above 20 years ago, and then at a very reasonable rent, +some for leases of lives, and some perpetuities, did, in a few months, +purchase eleven of those leases at a very inconsiderable price, although +they were, two years ago, reckoned to pay but half value. From whence it +is manifest, that our present miserable condition, and the dismal +prospect of worse, with other reasons above assigned, are sufficient to +put men upon trying this desperate experiment, of changing the scene +they are in, although landlords should, by a miracle, become less +inhuman.</p> + +<p>There is hardly a scheme proposed for improving the trade of this +kingdom, which doth not manifestly shew the stupidity and ignorance of +the proposer; and I laugh with contempt at those weak wise heads, who +proceed upon general maxims, or advise us to follow the examples of +Holland and England. These empirics talk by rote, without understanding +the constitution of the kingdom: as if a physician, knowing that +exercise contributed much to health, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>should prescribe to his patient +under a severe fit of the gout, to walk ten miles every morning. The +directions for Ireland are very short and plain; to encourage +agriculture and home consumption, and utterly discard all importations +which are not absolutely necessary for health or life. And how few +necessities, conveniences, or even comforts of life, are denied us by +nature, or not to be attained by labour and industry! Are those +detestable extravagancies of Flanders lace, English cloths of our own +wool, and other goods, Italian or Indian silks, tea, coffee, chocolate, +china-ware, and that profusion of wines, by the knavery of merchants +growing dearer every season, with a hundred unnecessary fopperies, +better known to others than me; are these, I say, fit for us, any more +than for the beggar who could not eat his veal without oranges? Is it +not the highest indignity to human nature, that men should be such +poltroons as to suffer the kingdom and themselves to be undone, by the +vanity, the folly, the pride, and wantonness of their wives,<a name="FNanchor_93_93" id="FNanchor_93_93"></a><a href="#Footnote_93_93" class="fnanchor">[93]</a> who, +under their present corruptions, seem to be a kind of animal, suffered, +for our sins, to be sent into the world for the destruction of families, +societies, and kingdoms; and whose whole study seems directed to be as +expensive as they possibly can, in every useless article of living; who, +by long practice, can reconcile the most pernicious foreign drugs to +their health and pleasure, provided they are but expensive, as starlings +grow fat with henbane; who contract a robustness by mere practice of +sloth and luxury; who can play deep several hours after midnight, sleep +beyond noon, revel upon Indian poisons, and spend the revenue of a +moderate family to adorn a nauseous, unwholesome living carcase? Let +those few who are not concerned in any part of this accusation, suppose +it unsaid; let the rest take it among them. Gracious God, in His mercy, +look down upon a nation so shamefully besotted!</p> + +<p>If I am possessed of an hundred pounds a year, and by some misfortune it +sinks to fifty, without a possibility of ever <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span>being retrieved; does it +remain a question, in such an exigency, what I am to do? Must not I +retrench one-half in every article of expense, or retire to some cheap, +distant part of the country, where necessaries are at half value?</p> + +<p>Is there any mortal who can shew me, under the circumstances we stand +with our neighbours, under their inclinations towards us, under laws +never to be repealed, under the desolation caused by absentees, under +many other circumstances not to be mentioned, that this kingdom can ever +be a nation of trade, or subsist by any other method than that of a +reduced family, by the utmost parsimony, in the manner I have already +prescribed?</p> + +<p>I am tired with letters from many unreasonable, well-meaning people, who +are daily pressing me to deliver my thoughts in this deplorable +juncture, which, upon many others, I have so often done in vain. What +will it import, that half a score people in a coffee-house may happen to +read this paper, and even the majority of those few differ in every +sentiment from me? If the farmer be not allowed to sow his corn; if half +the little money among us be sent to pay rents to Irish absentees, and +the rest for foreign luxury and dress for the women, what will our +charitable dispositions avail, when there is nothing left to be given? +When, contrary to all custom and example, all necessaries of life are so +exorbitant; when money of all kinds was never known to be so scarce, so +that gentlemen of no contemptible estates are forced to retrench in +every article, (except what relates to their wives,) without being able +to shew any bounty to the poor?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>AN ANSWER<br /> +TO SEVERAL LETTERS SENT ME FROM<br /> +UNKNOWN HANDS.<a name="FNanchor_94_94" id="FNanchor_94_94"></a><a href="#Footnote_94_94" class="fnanchor">[94]</a></h3> + + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in the Year</span> 1729.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span></p> + +<p>I am very well pleased with the good opinion you express of me; and wish +it were any way in my power to answer your expectations, for the service +of my country. I have carefully read your several schemes and proposals, +which you think should be offered to the Parliament. In answer, I will +assure you, that, in another place, I have known very good proposals +rejected with contempt by public assemblies, merely because they were +offered from without doors; and yours, perhaps, might have the same +fate, especially if handed into the public by me, who am not acquainted +with three members, nor have the least interest with one. My printers +have been twice prosecuted, to my great expense, on account of +discourses I writ for the public service, without the least reflection +on parties or persons; and the success I had in those of the Drapier, +was not owing to my abilities, but to a lucky juncture, when the fuel +was ready for the first hand that would be at the pains of kindling it. +It is true, both those envenomed prosecutions were the workmanship of a +judge, who is now gone <i>to his own place</i>.<a name="FNanchor_95_95" id="FNanchor_95_95"></a><a href="#Footnote_95_95" class="fnanchor">[95]</a> But, let that be as it +will, I am determined, henceforth, never to be the instrument of leaving +an innocent man at the mercy of that bench.</p> + +<p>It is certain there are several particulars relating to this kingdom (I +have mentioned a few of them in one of my Drapier's letters,<a name="FNanchor_96_96" id="FNanchor_96_96"></a><a href="#Footnote_96_96" class="fnanchor">[96]</a>) which +it were heartily to be wished that the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>Parliament would take under +their consideration, such as will nowise interfere with England, +otherwise than to its advantage.</p> + +<p>The first I shall mention, is touched at in a letter which I received +from one of you, gentlemen, about the highways; which, indeed, are +almost everywhere scandalously neglected. I know a very rich man in this +city, a true lover and saver of his money, who, being possessed of some +adjacent lands, hath been at great charge in repairing effectually the +roads that lead to them; and has assured me that his lands are thereby +advanced four or five shillings an acre, by which he gets treble +interest. But, generally speaking, all over the kingdom the roads are +deplorable; and, what is more particularly barbarous, there is no sort +of provision made for travellers on foot; no, not near this city, except +in a very few places, and in a most wretched manner: whereas the English +are so particularly careful in this point, that you may travel there an +hundred miles with less inconvenience than one mile here. But, since +this may be thought too great a reformation, I shall only speak of roads +for horses, carriages, and cattle.<a name="FNanchor_97_97" id="FNanchor_97_97"></a><a href="#Footnote_97_97" class="fnanchor">[97]</a></p> + +<p>Ireland is, I think, computed to be one-third smaller than England; yet, +by some natural disadvantages, it would not bear quite the same +proportion in value, with the same encouragement. However, it hath so +happened, for many years past, that it never arrived to above +one-eleventh part in point of riches; and of late, by the continual +decrease of trade, and increase of absentees, with other circumstances +not here to be mentioned, hardly to a fifteenth part; at least, if my +calculations be right, which I doubt are a little too favourable on our +side.</p> + +<p>Now, supposing day-labour to be cheaper by one half here than in +England, and our roads, by the nature of our carriages, and the +desolation of our country, to be not worn and beaten above one-eighth +part so much as those of England, which is a very moderate computation, +I do not see why the mending of them would be a greater burthen to this +kingdom than to that.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span></p> + +<p>There have been, I believe, twenty acts of Parliament, in six or seven +years of the late King, for mending long tracts of impassable ways in +several counties of England, by erecting turnpikes, and receiving +passage-money, in a manner that everybody knows. If what I have advanced +be true, it would be hard to give a reason against the same practice +here; since the necessity is as great, the advantage, in proportion, +perhaps much greater, the materials of stone and gravel as easy to be +found, and the workmanship, at least, twice as cheap. Besides, the work +may be done gradually, with allowances for the poverty of the nation, by +so many perch a year; but with a special care to encourage skill and +diligence, and to prevent fraud in the undertakers, to which we are too +liable, and which are not always confined to those of the meaner sort: +but against these, no doubt, the wisdom of the nation may and will +provide.</p> + +<p>Another evil, which, in my opinion, deserves the public care, is the ill +management of the bogs; the neglect whereof is a much greater mischief +to this kingdom than most people seem to be aware of.</p> + +<p>It is allowed, indeed, by those who are esteemed most skilful in such +matters, that the red, swelling mossy bog, whereof we have so many large +tracts in this island, is not by any means to be fully reduced; but the +skirts, which are covered with a green coat, easily may, being not an +accretion, or annual growth of moss, like the other.</p> + +<p>Now, the landlords are generally too careless that they suffer their +tenants to cut their turf in these skirts, as well as the bog adjoined; +whereby there is yearly lost a considerable quantity of land throughout +the kingdom, never to be recovered.</p> + +<p>But this is not the greatest part of the mischief: for the main bog, +although, perhaps, not reducible to natural soil, yet, by continuing +large, deep, straight canals through the middle, cleaned at proper times +as low as the channel or gravel, would become a secure summer-pasture; +the margins might, with great profit and ornament, be filled with +quickens, birch, and other trees proper for such a soil, and the canals +be convenient for water-carriage of the turf, which is now drawn upon +sled-cars, with great expense, difficulty, and loss of time, by reason +of the many turf-pits scattered irregularly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> through the bog, wherein +great numbers of cattle are yearly drowned. And it hath been, I confess, +to me a matter of the greatest vexation, as well as wonder, to think how +any landlord could be so absurd as to suffer such havoc to be made.</p> + +<p>All the acts for encouraging plantations of forest-trees are, I am told, +extremely defective;<a name="FNanchor_98_98" id="FNanchor_98_98"></a><a href="#Footnote_98_98" class="fnanchor">[98]</a> which, with great submission, must have been +owing to a defect of skill in the contrivers of them. In this climate, +by the continual blowing of the west-south-west wind, hardly any tree of +value will come to perfection that is not planted in groves, except very +rarely, and where there is much land-shelter. I have not, indeed, read +all the acts; but, from enquiry, I cannot learn that the planting in +groves is enjoined. And as to the effects of these laws, I have not seen +the least, in many hundred miles riding, except about a very few +gentlemen's houses, and even those with very little skill or success. In +all the rest, the hedges generally miscarry, as well as the larger +slender twigs planted upon the tops of ditches, merely for want of +common skill and care.</p> + +<p>I do not believe that a greater and quicker profit could be made, than +by planting large groves of ash a few feet asunder, which in seven years +would make the best kind of hop-poles, and grow in the same or less time +to a second crop from their roots.</p> + +<p>It would likewise be of great use and beauty in our desert scenes, to +oblige all tenants and cottagers to plant ash or elm before their +cabins, and round their potato-gardens, where cattle either do not or +ought not to come to destroy them.</p> + +<p>The common objections against all this, drawn from the laziness, the +perverseness, or thievish disposition, of the poor native Irish, might +be easily answered, by shewing the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span>true reasons for such accusations, +and how easily those people may be brought to a less savage manner of +life: but my printers have already suffered too much for my +speculations. However, supposing the size of a native's understanding +just equal to that of a dog or horse, I have often seen those two +animals to be civilized by rewards, at least as much as by punishments.</p> + +<p>It would be a noble achievement to abolish the Irish language in this +kingdom, so far at least as to oblige all the natives to speak only +English on every occasion of business, in shops, markets, fairs, and +other places of dealing: yet I am wholly deceived, if this might not be +effectually done in less than half an age, and at a very trifling +expense; for such I look upon a tax to be of only six thousand pounds a +year, to accomplish so great a work.<a name="FNanchor_99_99" id="FNanchor_99_99"></a><a href="#Footnote_99_99" class="fnanchor">[99]</a> This would, in a great measure, +civilize the most barbarous among them, reconcile them to our customs +and manner of living, and reduce great numbers to the national religion, +whatever kind may then happen to be established. The method is plain and +simple; and although I am too desponding to produce it, yet I could +heartily wish some public thoughts were employed to reduce this +uncultivated people from that idle, savage, beastly, thievish manner of +life, in which they continue sunk to a degree, that it is almost +impossible for a country gentleman to find a servant of human capacity, +or the least tincture of natural honesty; or who does not live among his +own tenants in continual fear of having his plantations destroyed, his +cattle stolen, and his goods pilfered.</p> + +<p>The love, affection, or vanity of living in England, continuing to carry +thither so many wealthy families, the consequences thereof, together +with the utter loss of all trade, except what is detrimental, which hath +forced such great numbers of weavers, and others, to seek their bread in +foreign countries; the unhappy practice of stocking such vast quantities +of land with sheep and other cattle, which <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span>reduceth twenty families to +one: these events, I say, have exceedingly depopulated this kingdom for +several years past. I should heartily wish, therefore, under this +miserable dearth of money, that those who are most concerned would think +it advisable to save a hundred thousand pounds a year, which is now sent +out of this kingdom, to feed us with corn. There is not an older or more +uncontroverted maxim in the politics of all wise nations, than that of +encouraging agriculture: and therefore, to what kind of wisdom a +practice so directly contrary among us may be reduced, I am by no means +a judge. If labour and people make the true riches of a nation, what +must be the issue where one part of the people are forced away, and the +other part have nothing to do?</p> + +<p>If it should be thought proper by wiser heads, that his Majesty might be +applied to in a national way, for giving the kingdom leave to coin +halfpence for its own use, I believe no good subject will be under the +least apprehension that such a request could meet with refusal, or the +least delay. Perhaps we are the only kingdom upon earth, or that ever +was or will be upon earth, which did not enjoy that common right of +civil society, under the proper inspection of its prince or legislature, +to coin money of all usual metals for its own occasions. Every petty +prince in Germany, vassal to the Emperor, enjoys this privilege. And I +have seen in this kingdom several silver pieces, with the inscription of +<span class="smcap">Civitas Waterford, Droghedagh</span>, and other towns.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER<br /> +TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN,</h3> + +<h4>CONCERNING THE WEAVERS.</h4> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in the Year</span> 1729.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The archbishop to whom Swift wrote was Dr. William King, for many +years his friend. King was a fine patriot and had stood out +strongly against the imposition of Wood's Halfpence. In this +letter, so characteristic of Swift's attitude towards the condition +of Ireland, he aims at a practical and immediate relief. The causes +for this condition discussed so ably by Molesworth, Prior and Dobbs +in their various treatises are too academic for him. His "Proposal +for the Universal Use of Irish Manufacture" well illustrates the +kind of practical reform Swift insisted on. Yet the insistence was +more because of the spirit of independence such a course demanded. +To Swift there was no hope for Ireland without a radical change in +the spirit of its people. The change meant the assertion of +manliness, independence, and strength of character. How to attain +these, and how to make the people aware of their power, were always +Swift's aims. All his tracts are assertions of and dilations on +these themes. If the people were but to insist on wearing their own +manufactures, since they were prohibited from exporting them, they +would keep their money in the kingdom. Likewise, if they were to +deny themselves the indulgence in luxuries, they would not have to +send out their money to the countries from which these luxuries +were obtained. There were methods ready at hand, but the practice +in them would result in the cultivation of that respect for +themselves without which a nation is worse than a pauper and lower +than a slave.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of this edition is based on the original manuscript, and +collated with that of Scott's second edition of Swift's collected +works.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN, CONCERNING THE WEAVERS.</h3> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">My Lord</span>,</p> + +<p>The corporation of weavers in the woollen manufacture, who have so often +attended your Grace, and called upon me with their schemes and proposals +were with me on Thursday last, when he who spoke for the rest and in the +name of his absent brethren, said, "It was the opinion of the whole +body, that if somewhat were written at this time by an able hand to +persuade the people of the Kingdom to wear their own woollen +manufactures, it might be of good use to the Nation in general, and +preserve many hundreds of their trade from starving." To which I +answered, "That it was hard for any man of common spirit to turn his +thoughts to such speculations, without discovering a resentment which +people are too delicate to bear." For, I will not deny to your Grace, +that I cannot reflect on the singular condition of this Country, +different from all others upon the face of the Earth, without some +emotion, and without often examining as I pass the streets whether those +animals which come in my way with two legs and human faces, clad and +erect, be of the same species with what I have seen very like them in +England, as to the outward shape, but differing in their notions, +natures, and intellectuals, more than any two kinds of brutes in a +forest, which any men of common prudence would immediately discover, by +persuading them to define what they mean by law, liberty, property, +courage, reason, loyalty or religion.</p> + +<p>One thing, my Lord, I am very confident of; that if God<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span> Almighty for +our sins would most justly send us a pestilence, whoever should dare to +discover his grief in public for such a visitation, would certainly be +censured for disaffection to the Government. For I solemnly profess, +that I do not know one calamity we have undergone this many years, +whereof any man whose opinions were not in fashion dared to lament +without being openly charged with that imputation. And this is the +harder, because although a mother when she hath corrected her child may +sometimes force it to kiss the rod, yet she will never give that power +to the footboy or the scullion.</p> + +<p>My Lord, there are two things for the people of this Kingdom to +consider. First their present evil condition; and secondly what can be +done in some degree to remedy it.</p> + +<p>I shall not enter into a particular description of our present misery; +It hath been already done in several papers, and very fully in one, +entitled, "A short View of the State of Ireland." It will be enough to +mention the entire want of trade, the Navigation Act executed with the +utmost rigour, the remission of a million every year to England, the +ruinous importation of foreign luxury and vanity, the oppression of +landlords, and discouragement of agriculture.</p> + +<p>Now all these evils are without the possibility of a cure except that of +importations, and to fence against ruinous folly will be always in our +power in spite of the discouragements, mortifications, contempt, hatred, +and oppression we can lie under. But our trade will never mend, the +Navigation Act never be softened, our absentees never return, our +endless foreign payments never be lessened, or our landlords ever be +less exacting.</p> + +<p>All other schemes for preserving this Kingdom from utter ruin are idle +and visionary, consequently drawn from wrong reasoning, and from general +topics which for the same causes that they may be true in all Nations +are certainly false in ours; as I have told the Public often enough, but +with as little effect as what I shall say at present is likely to +produce.</p> + +<p>I am weary of so many abortive projects for the advancement of trade, of +so many crude proposals in letters sent me from unknown hands, of so +many contradictory speculations about raising or sinking the value of +gold and silver: I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> am not in the least sorry to hear of the great +numbers going to America, though very much so for the causes that drive +them from us, since the uncontrolled maxim, "That people are the riches +of a Nation," is no maxim here under our circumstances. We have neither +[manufactures] to employ them about, nor food to support them.</p> + +<p>If a private gentleman's income be sunk irretrievably for ever from a +hundred pounds to fifty, and that he hath no other method to supply the +deficiency, I desire to know, my Lord, whether such a person hath any +other course to take than to sink half his expenses in every article of +economy, to save himself from ruin and the gaol. Is not this more than +doubly the case of Ireland, where the want of money, the irrecoverable +ruin of trade, with the other evils above mentioned, and many more too +well known and felt, and too numerous or invidious to relate, have been +gradually sinking us for above a dozen years past, to a degree that we +are at least by two thirds in a worse condition than was ever known +since the Revolution? Therefore instead of dreams and projects for the +advancing of trade, we have nothing left but to find out some expedient +whereby we may reduce our expenses to our incomes.</p> + +<p>Yet this procedure, allowed so necessary in all private families, and in +its own nature so easy to be put in practice, may meet with strong +opposition by the cowardly slavish indulgence of the men to the +intolerable pride arrogance vanity and luxury of the women, who strictly +adhering to the rules of modern education seem to employ their whole +stock of invention in contriving new arts of profusion, faster than the +most parsimonious husband can afford; and to compass this work the more +effectually, their universal maxim is to despise and detest everything +of the growth and manufacture of their own country, and most to value +whatever comes from the very remotest parts of the globe. And I am +convinced, that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon, +with a passage to it, our women would wear nothing but what came +directly from thence.<a name="FNanchor_100_100" id="FNanchor_100_100"></a><a href="#Footnote_100_100" class="fnanchor">[100]</a></p> + +<p>The prime cost of wine yearly imported to Ireland is valued at thirty +thousand pounds, and the tea (including <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span>coffee and chocolate) at five +times that sum. The lace, silks, calicoes, and all other unnecessary +ornaments for women, including English cloths and stuffs, added to the +former articles, make up (to compute grossly), about four hundred +thousand pounds.</p> + +<p>Now, if we should allow the thirty thousand pounds for wine, wherein the +women have their share, and which is all we have to comfort us, and +deduct seventy thousand pounds more for over-reckoning, there would +still remain three hundred thousand pounds, annually spent for +unwholesome drugs, and unnecessary finery. Which prodigious sum would be +wholly saved, and many thousands of our miserable shopkeepers and +manufacturers comfortably supported.</p> + +<p>Let speculative people busy their brains as much as they please, there +is no other way to prevent this Kingdom from sinking for ever than by +utterly renouncing all foreign dress and luxury.</p> + +<p>It is absolutely so in fact that every husband of any fortune in the +Kingdom is nourishing a poisonous, devouring serpent in his bosom with +all the mischief but with none of its wisdom.</p> + +<p>If all the women were clad with the growth of their own Country, they +might still vie with each other in the cause of foppery, and still have +room left to vie with each other, and equally shew their wit and +judgment in deciding upon the variety of Irish stuffs; And if they could +be contented with their native wholesome slops for breakfast, we should +hear no more of their spleen, hysterics, colics, palpitations, and +asthmas. They might still be allowed to ruin each other and their +husbands at play, because the money lost would only circulate among +ourselves.</p> + +<p>My Lord; I freely own it a wild imagination that any words will cure the +sottishness of men, or the vanity of women, but the Kingdom is in a fair +way of producing the most effectual remedy, when there will not be money +left for the common course of buying and selling the very necessaries of +life in our markets, unless we absolutely change the whole method of our +proceedings.</p> + +<p>This Corporation of Weavers in Woollen and Silks, who have so frequently +offered proposals both to your Grace and to me, are the hottest and +coldest generation of men that I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span> have known. About a month ago they +attended your Grace, when I had the honour to be with you, and designed +me then the same favour. They desired you would recommend to your clergy +to wear gowns of Irish stuffs, which might probably spread the example +among all their brethren in the Kingdom, and perhaps among the lawyers +and gentlemen of the University and among the citizens of those +Corporations who appear in gowns on solemn occasions. I then mentioned a +kind of stuff, not above eightpence a yard, which I heard had been +contrived by some of the trade and was very convenient. I desired they +would prepare some of that or any sort of black stuff on a certain day, +when your Grace would appoint as many clergymen as could readily be +found to meet at your Palace, and there give their opinions; and that +your Grace's visitations approaching you could then have the best +opportunity of seeing what could be done in a matter of such +consequence, as they seemed to think, to the woollen manufacture. But +instead of attending, as was expected, they came to me a fortnight +after, with a new proposal; that something should be writ by an +acceptable and able hand to promote in general the wearing of home +manufactures, and their civilities would seem to fix that work upon me. +I asked whether they had prepared the stuffs, as they had promised, and +your Grace expected; but they had not made the least step in the matter, +nor as it appears thought of it more.</p> + +<p>I did some years ago propose to the masters and principal dealers in the +home manufactures of silk and wool, that they should meet together, and +after mature consideration, publish advertisements to the following +purpose.<a name="FNanchor_101_101" id="FNanchor_101_101"></a><a href="#Footnote_101_101" class="fnanchor">[101]</a> That in order to encourage the wearing of Irish +manufactures in silk and woollen, they gave notice to the nobility and +gentry of the Kingdom, That they the undersigned would enter into bonds, +for themselves and for each other, to sell the several sorts of stuffs, +cloths and silks, made to the best perfection they were able, for +certain fixed prices, and in such a manner, that if a child were sent to +any of their shops, the buyer might be secure of the value and goodness, +and measure of the ware, and lest this might be thought to look <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>like a +monopoly any other member of the trade might be admitted upon such +conditions as should be agreed on. And if any person whatsoever should +complain that he was ill used in the value or goodness of what he +bought, the matter should be examined, the person injured be fully +satisfied, by the whole corporation without delay, and the dishonest +seller be struck out of the society, unless it appeared evidently that +the failure proceeded only from mistake.</p> + +<p>The mortal danger is, that if these dealers could prevail by the +goodness and cheapness of their cloths and stuffs to give a turn to the +principal people of Ireland in favour of their goods, they would relapse +into the knavish practice peculiar to this Kingdom, which is apt to run +through all trades even so low as a common ale-seller, who as soon as he +gets a vogue for his liquor, and outsells his neighbour, thinks his +credit will put off the worst he can buy; till his customers will come +no more. Thus I have known at London in a general mourning, the drapers +dye black all their old damaged goods, and sell them at double rates, +and then complain and petition the Court, that they are ready to starve +by the continuance of the mourning.</p> + +<p>Therefore I say, those principal weavers who would enter in such a +compact as I have mentioned, must give sufficient security against all +such practices; for if once the women can persuade their husbands that +foreign goods besides the finery will be as cheap, and do more service, +our last state will be worse than the first.</p> + +<p>I do not here pretend to digest perfectly the method by which these +principal shopkeepers shall proceed in such a proposal; but my meaning +is clear enough, and cannot reasonably be objected against.</p> + +<p>We have seen what a destructive loss the Kingdom received by the +detestable fraud of the merchants, or Northern weavers, or both, +notwithstanding all the care of the Governers at that Board; the whole +trade with Spain for our linen, when we had an offer of commerce with +the Spaniards, to the value as I am told of three hundred thousand +pounds a year. But while we deal like pedlars, we shall practise like +pedlars; and sacrifice all honesty to the present urging advantage.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></p> + +<p>What I have said may serve as an answer to the desire made me by the +Corporation of Weavers, that I would offer my notions to the public. As +to anything further, let them apply themselves to the Parliament in +their next Session. Let them prevail in the House of Commons to grant +one very reasonable request: And I shall think there is still some +spirit left in the Nation, when I read a vote to this purpose: +"Resolved, <i>nemine contradicente</i>, That this House will, for the future, +wear no clothes but such as are made of Irish growth, or of Irish +manufacture, nor will permit their wives or children to wear any other; +and that they will to the utmost endeavour to prevail with their +friends, relations, dependants and tenants to follow their example." And +if at the same time they could banish tea and coffee, and china-ware, +out of their families, and force their wives to chat their scandal over +an infusion of sage, or other wholesome domestic vegetables, we might +possibly be able to subsist, and pay our absentees, pensioners, +generals, civil officers, appeals, colliers, temporary travellers, +students, schoolboys, splenetic visitors of Bath, Tunbridge, and Epsom, +with all other smaller drains, by sending our crude unwrought goods to +England, and receiving from thence and all other countries nothing but +what is fully manufactured, and keep a few potatoes and oatmeal for our +own subsistence.</p> + +<p>I have been for a dozen years past wisely prognosticating the present +condition of this Kingdom, which any human creature of common sense +could foretell with as little sagacity as myself. My meaning is that a +consumptive body must needs die, which hath spent all its spirits and +received no nourishment. Yet I am often tempted to pity when I hear the +poor farmer and cottager lamenting the hardness of the times, and +imputing them either to one or two ill seasons, which better climates +than ours are more exposed to, or to the scarcity of silver which to a +Nation of Liberty would be only a slight and temporary inconveniency, to +be removed at a month's warning.</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ap., 1729.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>OBSERVATIONS,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span></h3> + +<h4>OCCASIONED BY READING A PAPER ENTITLED,<br />"THE CASE OF THE WOOLLEN +MANUFACTURES<br />OF DUBLIN," ETC.<a name="FNanchor_102_102" id="FNanchor_102_102"></a><a href="#Footnote_102_102" class="fnanchor">[102]</a></h4> + + +<p>The paper called "The Case of the Woollen Manufactures," &c. is very +well drawn up. The reasonings of the authors are just, the facts true, +and the consequences natural. But his censure of those seven vile +citizens, who import such a quantity of silk stuffs and woollen cloth +from England, is an hundred times gentler than enemies to their country +deserve; because I think no punishment in this world can be great enough +for them, without immediate repentance and amendment. But, after all, +the writer of that paper hath very lightly touched one point of the +greatest importance, and very poorly answered the main objection, that +the clothiers are defective both in the quality and quantity of their +goods.</p> + +<p>For my own part, when I consider the several societies of handicraftsmen +in all kinds, as well as shopkeepers, in this city, after eighteen +years' experience of their dealings, I am at a loss to know in which of +these societies the most or least honesty is to be found. For instance, +when any trade comes first into my head, upon examination I determine it +exceeds all others in fraud. But after I have considered them all round, +as far as my knowledge or experience reacheth, I am at a loss to +determine, and to save trouble I put them all upon a par. This I chiefly +apply to those societies of men who get their livelihood by the labour +of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span>their hands. For, as to shopkeepers, I cannot deny that I have found +some few honest men among them, taking the word honest in the largest +and most charitable sense. But as to handicraftsmen, although I shall +endeavour to believe it possible to find a fair dealer among their +clans, yet I confess it hath never been once my good fortune to employ +one single workman, who did not cheat me at all times to the utmost of +his power in the materials, the work, and the price. One universal maxim +I have constantly observed among them, that they would rather gain a +shilling by cheating you, than twenty in the honest way of dealing, +although they were sure to lose your custom, as well as that of others, +whom you might probably recommend to them.</p> + +<p>This, I must own, is the natural consequence of poverty and oppression. +These wretched people catch at any thing to save them a minute longer +from drowning. Thus Ireland is the poorest of all civilized countries in +Europe, with every natural advantage to make it one of the richest.</p> + +<p>As to the grand objection, which this writer slubbers over in so +careless a manner, because indeed it was impossible to find a +satisfactory answer, I mean the knavery of our woollen manufacturers in +general, I shall relate some facts, which I had more opportunities to +observe than usually fall in the way of men who are not of the trade. +For some years, the masters and wardens, with many of their principal +workmen and shopkeepers, came often to the Deanery to relate their +grievances, and to desire my advice as well as my assistance. What +reasons might move them to this proceeding, I leave to public +conjecture. The truth is, that the woollen manufacture of this kingdom +sate always nearest my heart. But the greatest difficulty lay in these +perpetual differences between the shopkeepers and workmen they employed. +Ten or a dozen of these latter often came to the Deanery with their +complaints, which I often repeated to the shopkeepers. As, that they +brought their prices too low for a poor weaver to get his bread by; and +instead of ready money for their labour on Saturdays, they gave them +only such a quantity of cloth or stuff, at the highest rate, which the +poor men were often forced to sell one-third below the rate, to supply +their urgent necessities. On the other side, the shopkeepers complained +of idleness, and want of skill,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> or care, or honesty, in their workmen; +and probably their accusations on both sides were just.</p> + +<p>Whenever the weavers, in a body, came to me for advice, I gave it +freely, that they should contrive some way to bring their goods into +reputation; and give up that abominable principle of endeavouring to +thrive by imposing bad ware at high prices to their customers, whereby +no shopkeeper can reasonably expect to thrive. For, besides the dread of +God's anger, (which is a motive of small force among them,) they may be +sure that no buyer of common sense will return to the same shop where he +was once or twice defrauded. That gentlemen and ladies, when they found +nothing but deceit in the sale of Irish cloths and stuffs, would act as +they ought to do, both in prudence and resentment, in going to those +very bad citizens the writer mentions, and purchase English goods.</p> + +<p>I went farther, and proposed that ten or a dozen of the most substantial +woollen-drapers should join in publishing an advertisement, signed with +their names to the following purpose:—That for the better encouragement +of all gentlemen, &c. the persons undernamed did bind themselves +mutually to sell their several cloths and stuffs, (naming each kind) at +the lowest rate, right merchantable goods, of such a breadth, which they +would warrant to be good according to the several prices; and that if a +child of ten years old were sent with money, and directions what cloth +or stuff to buy, he should not be wronged in any one article. And that +whoever should think himself ill-used in any of the said shops, he +should have his money again from the seller, or upon his refusal, from +the rest of the said subscribers, who, if they found the buyer +discontented with the cloth or stuff, should be obliged to refund the +money; and if the seller refused to repay them, and take his goods +again, should publicly advertise that they would answer for none of his +goods any more. This would be to establish credit, upon which all trade +dependeth.</p> + +<p>I proposed this scheme several times to the corporation of weavers, as +well as to the manufacturers, when they came to apply for my advice at +the Deanery-house. I likewise went to the shops of several +woollen-drapers upon the same errand, but always in vain; for they +perpetually gave me the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> deaf ear, and avoided entering into discourse +upon that proposal: I suppose, because they thought it was in vain, and +that the spirit of fraud had gotten too deep and universal a possession +to be driven out by any arguments from interest, reason, or conscience.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h3>PRESENT MISERABLE STATE</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h2>IRELAND.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The following tract was taken by Sir Walter Scott "from a little +miscellaneous 12mo volume of pamphlets, communicated by Mr. +Hartsonge, relating chiefly to Irish affairs, the property at one +time of Thomas Kingsbury, Esq., son of Dr. Kingsbury, who attended +Swift in his last illness." The present editor came across a +similar volume while on a visit of research in Dublin, among the +collection of books which belonged to the late Sir W. Gilbert, and +which were being catalogued for auction by the bookseller, Mr. +O'Donoghue. The little 12mo contained this tract which had, as Sir +W. Scott points out, a portrait of Swift at the end, on the recto +of the last leaf.</p> + +<p>According to Sir W. Scott, the friend in Dublin to whom the letter +is supposed to be addressed, was Sir Robert Walpole. If Scott be +correct, and there seems little reason to doubt his conjecture, the +tract must have been written in the second half of the year 1726. +In the early part of that year Swift had an interview with Walpole. +Our knowledge of what transpired at that interview is obtained from +Swift's letter of April 28th, 1726, to Lord Peterborough; from +Swift's letter to Dr. Stopford of July 20th, 1726; from Pope's +letter to Swift of September 3rd, 1726; and from Swift's letter to +Lady Betty Germaine of January 8th, 1732/3. From these letters we +learn that Swift was really invited by Walpole to meet him. Swift's +visit to England concerned itself mainly with the publication of +"Gulliver's Travels," but Sir Henry Craik thinks that Swift had +other thoughts. "As regards politics," says this biographer, "he +was encouraged to hope that without loss either of honour or +consistency, it was open to him to make terms with the new powers. +In the end, the result proved that he either over-estimated his own +capacity of surrendering his independence, or under-estimated the +terms that would be exacted." This remark would leave it open for a +reader to conclude that Swift would, at a certain price, have been +ready to join Walpole and his party. But the letters referred to do +not in the least warrant such a conclusion. Swift's thought was for +Ireland, and had he been successful with Walpole in his pleading +for Ireland's cause that minister might have found an ally in +Swift; but the price to be paid was not to the man. From Swift's +letter to Peterborough we are at once introduced to Ireland's case, +and his point of view on this was so opposed to Walpole's +preconceived notions of how best to govern Ireland, as well as of +his settled plans, that Swift found, as he put it, that Walpole +"had conceived opinions ... which I could not reconcile to the +notions I had of liberty." Not at all of his own liberty, but of +that of the liberty of a nation; for, as he says (giving now the +quotation in full): "I had no other design in desiring to see Sir +Robert Walpole, than to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in +a true light, not only without any view to myself, but to any party +whatsoever ... I failed very much <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>in my design; for I saw that he +had conceived opinions, <i>from the example and practices of the +present, and some former governors</i>, which I could not reconcile to +the notions I had of liberty." The part given here in italics is +omitted by Sir H. Craik in his quotation.</p> + +<p>Swift saw Walpole twice—once at Walpole's invitation at a dinner +at Chelsea, and a second time at his own wish, expressed through +Lord Peterborough. At the first meeting nothing of politics could +be broached, as the encounter was a public one. The second meeting +was private and resulted in nothing. The letter to Peterborough was +written by Swift the day after he had seen Walpole, and +Peterborough was requested to show it to that minister. The letter +is so pertinent to the subject-matter of this volume that it is +printed here:</p> + +<p class='author'>"<i>April 28th</i>, 1726.</p> + +<p class='center'>"<span class="smcap">Swift to the Earl of Peterborough</span>.</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 1em;">"My Lord,</span></p> + +<p>"Your lordship having, at my request, obtained for me an hour from +Sir Robert Walpole, I accordingly attended him yesterday at eight +o'clock in the morning, and had somewhat more than an hour's +conversation with him. Your lordship was this day pleased to +inquire what passed between that great minister and me; to which I +gave you some general answers, from whence you said you could +comprehend little or nothing.</p> + +<p>"I had no other design in desiring to see Sir Robert Walpole, than +to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in a true light, not +only without any view to myself, but to any party whatsoever: and, +because I understood the affairs of that kingdom tolerably well, +and observed the representations he had received were such as I +could not agree to; my principal design was to set him right, not +only for the service of Ireland, but likewise of England, and of +his own administration.</p> + +<p>"I failed very much in my design; for I saw he had conceived +opinions, from the example and practices of the present, and some +former governors, which I could not reconcile to the notions I had +of liberty, a possession always understood by the British nation to +be the inheritance of a human creature.</p> + +<p>"Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to enlarge very much upon the +subject of Ireland, in a manner so alien from what I conceived to +be the rights and privileges of a subject of England, that I did +not think proper to debate the matter with him so much as I +otherwise might, because I found it would be in vain. I shall, +therefore, without entering into dispute, make bold to mention to +your lordship some few grievances of that kingdom, as it consists +of a people who, beside a natural right of enjoying the privileges +of subjects, have also a claim of merit from their extraordinary +loyalty to the present king and his family.</p> + +<p>"First, That all persons born in Ireland are called and treated as +Irishmen, although their fathers and grandfathers were born in +England; and their predecessors having been conquerors of Ireland, +it is humbly considered they ought to be on as good a foot as any +subjects of Britain, according to the practice of all other +nations, and particularly of the Greeks and Romans.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Secondly, That they are denied the natural liberty of exporting +their manufactures to any country which is not engaged in a war +with England.</p> + +<p>"Thirdly, That whereas there is a university in Ireland, founded by +Queen Elizabeth, where youth are instructed with a much stricter +discipline than either in Oxford or Cambridge, it lies under the +greatest discouragements, by filling all the principal employments, +civil and ecclesiastical, with persons from England, who have +neither interest, property, acquaintance, nor alliance, in that +kingdom; contrary to the practice of all other states in Europe +which are governed by viceroys, at least what hath never been used +without the utmost discontents of the people.</p> + +<p>"Fourthly, That several of the bishops sent over to Ireland, having +been clergymen of obscure condition, and without other distinction +than that of chaplains to the governors, do frequently invite over +their old acquaintances or kindred, to whom they bestow the best +preferment in their gift. The like may be said of the judges, who +take with them one or two dependants, to whom they give their +countenance; and who, consequently, without other merit, grow +immediately into the chief business of their courts. The same +practice is followed by all others in civil employments, if they +have a cousin, a valet, or footman in their family, born in +England.</p> + +<p>"Fifthly, That all civil employments, granted in reversion, are +given to persons who reside in England.</p> + +<p>"The people of Ireland, who are certainly the most loyal subjects +in the world, cannot but conceive that most of these hardships have +been the consequence of some unfortunate representations (at least) +in former times; and the whole body of the gentry feel the effects +in a very sensible part, being utterly destitute of all means to +make provision for their younger sons, either in the Church, the +law, the revenue, or (of late) in the army; and, in the desperate +condition of trade, it is equally vain to think of making them +merchants. All they have left is, at the expiration of leases, to +rack their tenants, which they have done to such a degree, that +there is not one farmer in a hundred through the kingdom who can +afford shoes or stockings to his children, or to eat flesh, or +drink anything better than sour milk or water, twice in a year; so +that the whole country, except the Scottish plantation in the +north, is a scene of misery and desolation hardly to be matched on +this side of Lapland.</p> + +<p>"The rents of Ireland are computed to about a million and a half, +whereof one half million at least is spent by lords and gentlemen +residing in England, and by some other articles too long to +mention.</p> + +<p>"About three hundred thousand pounds more are returned thither on +other accounts; and, upon the whole, those who are the best versed +in that kind of knowledge agree, that England gains annually by +Ireland a million at least, which even I could make appear beyond +all doubt.</p> + +<p>"But, as this mighty profit would probably increase, with tolerable +treatment, to half a million more, so it must of necessity sink, +under the hardships that kingdom lies at present.</p> + +<p>"And whereas Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to take notice, how +little the king gets by Ireland, it ought, perhaps to be +considered, that the revenues and taxes, I think, amount to above +four hundred thousand <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>pounds a-year; and, reckoning the riches of +Ireland, compared with England, to be as one to twelve, the king's +revenues there would be equal to more than five millions here; +which, considering the bad payment of rents, from such miserable +creatures as most of the tenants in Ireland are, will be allowed to +be as much as such a kingdom can bear.</p> + +<p>"The current coin of Ireland is reckoned, at most, but at five +hundred thousand pounds; so that above four-fifths are paid every +year into the exchequer.</p> + +<p>"I think it manifest, that whatever circumstances could possibly +contribute to make a country poor and despicable, are all united +with respect to Ireland. The nation controlled by laws to which +they do not consent, disowned by their brethren and countrymen, +refused the liberty not only of trading with their own +manufactures, but even their native commodities, forced to seek for +justice many hundred miles by sea and land, rendered in a manner +incapable of serving their king and country in any employment of +honour, trust, or profit; and all this without the least demerit; +while the governors sent over thither can possibly have no +affection to the people, further than what is instilled into them +by their own justice and love of mankind, which do not always +operate; and whatever they please to represent hither is never +called in question.</p> + +<p>"Whether the representatives of such a people, thus distressed and +laid in the dust, when they meet in a parliament, can do the public +business with that cheerfulness which might be expected from +free-born subjects, would be a question in any other country except +that unfortunate island; the English inhabitants whereof have given +more and greater examples of their loyalty and dutifulness, than +can be shown in any other part of the world.</p> + +<p>"What part of these grievances may be thought proper to be +redressed by so wise and great a minister as Sir Robert Walpole, he +perhaps will please to consider; especially because they have been +all brought upon that kingdom since the Revolution; which, however, +is a blessing annually celebrated there with the greatest zeal and +sincerity.</p> + +<p>"I most humbly entreat your lordship to give this paper to Sir +Robert Walpole, and desire him to read it, which he may do in a few +minutes. I am, with the greatest respect, my lord,</p> + +<p> +"Your lordship's<br /> +"most obedient and humble servant,<br /> +"<span class="smcap">Jon. Swift.</span>"<br /> +</p> + +<p>Scott thinks that had Swift been anxious for personal favours from +Walpole he could easily have obtained them; "but the minister did +not choose to gain his adherence at the expense of sacrificing the +system which had hitherto guided England in her conduct towards the +sister kingdom, and the patriot of Ireland was not to be won at a +cheaper rate than the emancipation of his country."</p> + +<p>The original pamphlet bears neither date nor printer's name.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE PRESENT MISERABLE STATE OF IRELAND.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>By the last packets I had the favour of yours, and am surprised that you +should apply to a person so ill qualified as I am, for a full and +impartial account of the state of our trade. I have always lived as +retired as possible; I have carefully avoided the perplexed honour of +city-offices; I have never minded anybody's business but my own; upon +all which accounts, and several others, you might easily have found +among my fellow-citizens, persons more capable to resolve the weighty +questions you put to me, than I can pretend to be.</p> + +<p>But being entirely at leisure, even at this season of the year, when I +used to have scarce time sufficient to perform the necessary offices of +life, I will endeavour to comply with your requests, cautioning you not +implicitly to rely upon what I say, excepting what belongs to that +branch of trade in which I am more immediately concerned.</p> + +<p>The Irish trade is, at present, in the most deplorable condition that +can be imagined; to remedy it, the causes of its languishment must be +inquired into: But as those causes (you may assure yourself) will not be +removed, you may look upon it as a thing past hopes of recovery.</p> + +<p>The first and greatest shock our trade received, was from an act passed +in the reign of King William, in the Parliament of England, prohibiting +the exportation of wool manufactured in Ireland. An act (as the event +plainly shews) fuller of greediness than good policy; an act as +beneficial to France and Spain, as it has been destructive to England +and Ireland.<a name="FNanchor_103_103" id="FNanchor_103_103"></a><a href="#Footnote_103_103" class="fnanchor">[103]</a> At the passing of this fatal act, the condition <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span>of +our trade was glorious and flourishing, though no way interfering with +the English; we made no broad-cloths above 6<i>s.</i> per yard; coarse +druggets, bays and shalloons, worsted damasks, strong draught works, +slight half-works, and gaudy stuffs, were the only product of our looms: +these were partly consumed by the meanest of our people,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span> and partly +sent to the northern nations, from which we had in exchange, timber, +iron, hemp, flax, pitch, tar, and hard dollars. At the time the current +money of Ireland was foreign silver, a man could hardly receive 100<i>l</i>., +without finding the coin of all the northern powers, and every prince of +the empire among it. This money was returned into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span> England for fine +cloths, silks, &c. for our own wear, for rents, for coals, for hardware, +and all other English manufactures, and, in a great measure, supplied +the London merchants with foreign silver for exportation.</p> + +<p>The repeated clamours of the English weavers produced this act, so +destructive to themselves and us. They looked with envious eyes upon our +prosperity, and complained of being undersold by us in those +commodities, which they themselves did not deal in. At their instances +the act was passed, and we lost our profitable northern trade. Have they +got it? No, surely, you have found they have ever since declined in the +trade they so happily possessed; you shall find (if I am rightly +informed) towns without one loom in them, which subsisted entirely upon +the woollen manufactory before the passing of this unhappy bill; and I +will try if I can give the true reasons for the decay of their trade, +and our calamities.</p> + +<p>Three parts in four of the inhabitants of that district of the town +where I dwell were English manufacturers, whom either misfortunes in +trade, little petty debts, contracted through idleness, or the pressures +of a numerous family, had driven into our cheap country: These were +employed in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> working up our coarse wool, while the finest was sent into +England. Several of these had taken the children of the native Irish +apprentices to them, who being humbled by the forfeiture of upward of +three millions by the Revolution, were obliged to stoop to a mechanic +industry. Upon the passing of this bill, we were obliged to dismiss +thousands of these people from our service. Those who had settled their +affairs returned home, and overstocked England with workmen; those whose +debts were unsatisfied went to France, Spain, and the Netherlands, where +they met with good encouragement, whereby the natives, having got a firm +footing in the trade, being acute fellows, soon became as good workmen +as any we have, and supply the foreign manufactories with a constant +recruit of artisans; our island lying much more under pasture than any +in Europe. The foreigners (notwithstanding all the restrictions the +English Parliament has bound us up with) are furnished with the greatest +quantity of our choicest wool. I need not tell you, sir, that a +custom-house oath is held as little sacred here as in England, or that +it is common for masters of vessels to swear themselves bound for one of +the English wool ports, and unload in France or Spain. By this means the +trade in those parts is, in a great measure, destroyed, and we were +obliged to try our hands at finer works, having only our home +consumption to depend upon; and, I can assure you, we have, in several +kinds of narrow goods, even exceeded the English, and I believe we +shall, in a few years more, be able to equal them in broad cloths; but +this you may depend upon, that scarce the tenth part of English goods +are now imported, of what used to be before the famous act.</p> + +<p>The only manufactured wares we are allowed to export, are linen cloth +and linen yarn, which are marketable only in England; the rest of our +commodities are wool, restrained to England, and raw hides, skins, +tallow, beef, and butter. Now, these are things for which the northern +nations have no occasion; we are therefore obliged, instead of carrying +woollen goods to their markets, and bringing home money, to purchase +their commodities.</p> + +<p>In France, Spain, and Portugal, our wares are more valuable, though it +must be owned, our fraudulent trade in wool is the best branch of our +commerce; from hence we get<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> wines, brandy, and fruit, very cheap, and +in great perfection; so that though England has constrained us to be +poor, they have given us leave to be merry. From these countries we +bring home moydores, pistoles, and louisdores, without which we should +scarce have a penny to turn upon.</p> + +<p>To England we are allowed to send nothing but linen cloth, yarn, raw +hides, skins, tallow, and wool. From thence we have coals, for which we +always pay ready money, India goods, English woollen and silks, tobacco, +hardware, earthenware, salt, and several other commodities. Our +exportations to England are very much overbalanced by our importations; +so that the course of exchange is generally too high, and people choose +rather to make their remittances to England in specie, than by a bill, +and our nation is perpetually drained of its little running cash.</p> + +<p>Another cause of the decay of trade, scarcity of money, and swelling of +exchange, is the unnatural affectation of our gentry to reside in and +about London.<a name="FNanchor_104_104" id="FNanchor_104_104"></a><a href="#Footnote_104_104" class="fnanchor">[104]</a> Their rents are remitted to them, and spent there. +The countryman wants employment from them; the country shopkeeper wants +their custom. For this reason he can't pay his Dublin correspondent +readily, nor take off a great quantity of his wares. There<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span>fore, the +Dublin merchant can't employ the artisan, nor keep up his credit in +foreign markets.</p> + +<p>I have discoursed some of these gentlemen, persons esteemed for good +sense, and demanded a reason for this their so unaccountable +proceeding,—expensive to them for the present, ruinous to their +country, and destructive to the future value of their estates,—and find +all their answers summed up under three heads, curiosity, pleasure, and +loyalty to King George. The two first excuses deserve no answer; let us +try the validity of the third. Would not loyalty be much better +expressed by gentlemen staying in their respective countries, +influencing their dependents by their examples, saving their own wealth, +and letting their neighbours profit by their necessary expenses, thereby +keeping them from misery, and its unavoidable consequence, discontent? +Or is it better to flock to London, be lost in a crowd, kiss the King's +hand, and take a view of the royal family? The seeing of the royal house +may animate their zeal for it; but other advantages I know not. What +employment have any of our gentlemen got by their attendance at Court, +to make up to them their expenses? Why, about forty of them have been +created peers, and a little less than a hundred of them baronets and +knights. For these excellent advantages, thousands of our gentry have +squeezed their tenants, impoverished the trader, and impaired their own +fortunes!</p> + +<p>Another great calamity, is the exorbitant raising of the rents of lands. +Upon the determination of all leases made before the year 1690, a +gentleman thinks he has but indifferently improved his estate if he has +only doubled his rent-roll. Farms are screwed up to a rack-rent, leases +granted but for a small term of years, tenants tied down to hard +conditions, and discouraged from cultivating the lands they occupy to +the best advantage, by the certainty they have of the rent being raised, +on the expiration of their lease, proportionably to the improvements +they shall make. Thus is honest industry restrained; the farmer is a +slave to his landlord; 'tis well if he can cover his family with a +coarse home-spun frieze. The artisan has little dealings with him; yet +he is obliged to take his provisions from him at an extravagant price, +otherwise the farmer cannot pay his rent.</p> + +<p>The proprietors of lands keep great part of them in their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span> own hands for +sheep-pasture; and there are thousands of poor wretches who think +themselves blessed, if they can obtain a hut worse than the squire's +dog-kennel, and an acre of ground for a potato-plantation, on condition +of being as very slaves as any in America. What can be more deplorable, +than to behold wretches starving in the midst of plenty!</p> + +<p>We are apt to charge the Irish with laziness, because we seldom find +them employed; but then we don't consider they have nothing to do. Sir +William Temple, in his excellent remarks on the United Provinces, +inquires why Holland, which has the fewest and worst ports and +commodities of any nation in Europe, should abound in trade, and +Ireland, which has the most and best of both, should have none? This +great man attributes this surprising accident to the natural aversion +man has for labour; who will not be persuaded to toil and fatigue +himself for the superfluities of life throughout the week, when he may +provide himself with all necessary subsistence by the labour of a day or +two. But, with due submission to Sir William's profound judgment, the +want of trade with us is rather owing to the cruel restraints we lie +under, than to any disqualification whatsoever in our inhabitants.</p> + +<p>I have not, sir, for these thirty years past, since I was concerned in +trade, (the greatest part of which time distresses have been flowing in +upon us,) ever observed them to swell so suddenly to such a height as +they have done within these few months. Our present calamities are not +to be represented; you can have no notion of them without beholding +them. Numbers of miserable objects crowd our doors, begging us to take +their wares at any price, to prevent their families from immediate +starving. We cannot part with our money to them, both because we know +not when we shall have vent for their goods; and, as there are no debts +paid, we are afraid of reducing ourselves to their lamentable +circumstances. The dismal time of trade we had during Marr's Troubles in +Scotland, are looked upon as happy days when compared with the +present.<a name="FNanchor_105_105" id="FNanchor_105_105"></a><a href="#Footnote_105_105" class="fnanchor">[105]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p> + +<p>I need not tell you, sir, that this griping want, this dismal poverty, +this additional woe, must be put to the accursed stocks, which have +desolated our country more effectually than England. Stockjobbing was a +kind of traffic we were utterly unacquainted with. We went late to the +South Sea market, and bore a great share in the losses of it, without +having tasted any of its profits.</p> + +<p>If many in England have been ruined by stocks, some have been advanced. +The English have a free and open trade to repair their losses; but, +above all, a wise, vigilant, and uncorrupted Parliament and ministry, +strenuously endeavouring to restore public trade to its former happy +state. Whilst we, having lost the greatest part of our cash, without any +probability of its returning, must despair of retrieving our losses by +trade, and have before our eyes the dismal prospect of universal poverty +and desolation.</p> + +<p>I believe, sir, you are by this time heartily tired with this indigested +letter, and are firmly persuaded of the truth of what I said in the +beginning of it, that you had much better have imposed this task on some +of our citizens of greater abilities. But perhaps, sir, such a letter as +this may be, for the singularity of it, entertaining to you, who +correspond with the politest and most learned men in Europe. But I am +satisfied you will excuse its want of exactness and perspicuity, when +you consider my education, my being unaccustomed to writings of this +nature, and, above all, those calamitous objects which constantly +surround us, sufficient to disturb the cleanest imagination, and the +soundest judgment.</p> + +<p>Whatever cause I have given you, by this letter, to think worse of my +sense and judgment, I fancy I have given you a manifest proof that I am, +sir,</p> + +<p class='center'>Your most obedient humble servant,</p> + +<p class='author'>J. S.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE SUBSTANCE</h3> + +<h4>OF WHAT WAS SAID BY</h4> + +<h3>THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S</h3> + +<h4>TO</h4> + +<h3>THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN,</h3> + +<h4>WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID<br /> +DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>It was only proper and fitting that the citizens and freemen of the +City of Dublin should express their sense of the high appreciation +in which they held the writer of the "Drapier's Letters," and the +man who had fought and was still fighting for an alleviation of the +grievances under which their country suffered. The Dublin +Corporation, in 1729, presented Swift with the freedom of the city, +an honour rarely bestowed, and only on men in high position and +power. To Swift the honour was welcome. It was a public act of +justification of what he had done, and it came gratefully to the +man who had at one time been abused and reviled by the people of +the very city which was now honouring him. Furthermore, such a +confirmation of his acts set the seal of public authority which was +desirable, even if not necessary, to a man of Swift's temper. He +could save himself much trouble by merely pointing to the gold box +which was presented to him with the freedom. Even in this last +moment, however, of public recognition, he was not allowed to +receive it without a snarl from one of the crowd of the many +slanderers who found it safer to backbite him. Lord Allen may have +been wrong in his head, or ill-advised, or foolishly over-zealous, +but his ill-tempered upbraiding of the Dublin Corporation for what +he called their treasonable extravagance in thus honouring Swift, +whom he deemed an enemy of the King, was the act of a fool. Swift +was not the man to let the occasion slip by without advantage. In +the substance of what he said to the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of +Dublin in accepting their gift, he replied to the charges made by +Lord Allen, and also issued a special advertisement by way of +defence against what the lord had thought fit to say.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Both these pieces are here reprinted; the first from a broadside in +the British Museum, and the second from a manuscript copy in the +Forster Collection at South Kensington.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE SUBSTANCE OF WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S</h3> + +<h4>TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN, WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO +PRESENT THE SAID DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX.</h4> + + +<p>When his Lordship had said a few words, and presented the instrument, +the Dean gently put it back, and desired first to be heard. He said, "He +was much obliged to his lordship and the city for the honour they were +going to do him, and which, as he was informed, they had long intended +him. That it was true, this honour was mingled with a little +mortification by the delay which attended it, but which, however, he did +not impute to his lordship or the city; and that the mortification was +the less, because he would willingly hope the delay was founded on a +mistake;—for which opinion he would tell his reason."</p> + +<p>He said, "It was well known, that, some time ago, a person with a +title<a name="FNanchor_106_106" id="FNanchor_106_106"></a><a href="#Footnote_106_106" class="fnanchor">[106]</a> was pleased, in two great assemblies, to rattle bitterly +somebody without a name, under the injurious appellations of a Tory, a +Jacobite, an enemy to King George, and a libeller of the government; +which character," the Dean said that, "many people thought was applied +to him. But he was unwilling to be of that opinion, because the person +who had delivered those abusive words, had, for several years, caressed, +and courted, and solicited his friendship more than any man in either +kingdom had ever done,—by inviting him to his house in town and +country,—by coming <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span>to the Deanery often, and calling or sending almost +every day when the Dean was sick,—with many other particulars of the +same nature, which continued even to a day or two of the time when the +said person made those invectives in the council and House of Lords. +Therefore, that the Dean would by no means think those scurrilous words +could be intended against him; because such a proceeding would overthrow +all the principles of honour, justice, religion, truth, and even common +humanity. Therefore the Dean will endeavour to believe, that the said +person had some other object in his thoughts, and it was only the +uncharitable custom of the world that applied this character to him. +However, that he would insist on this argument no longer. But one thing +he would affirm and declare, without assigning any name, or making any +exception, that whoever either did, or does, or shall hereafter, at any +time, charge him with the character of a Jacobite, an enemy to King +George, or a libeller of the government, the said accusation was, is, +and will be, false, malicious, slanderous, and altogether groundless. +And he would take the freedom to tell his lordship, and the rest that +stood by, that he had done more service to the Hanover title, and more +disservice to the Pretender's cause, than forty thousand of those noisy, +railing, malicious, empty zealots, to whom nature hath denied any talent +that could be of use to God or their country, and left them only the +gift of reviling, and spitting their venom, against all who differ from +them in their destructive principles, both in church and state. That he +confessed, it was sometimes his misfortune to dislike some things in +public proceedings in both kingdoms, wherein he had often the honour to +agree with wise and good men; but this did by no means affect either his +loyalty to his prince, or love to his country. But, on the contrary, he +protested, that such dislikes never arose in him from any other +principles than the duty he owed to the king, and his affection to the +kingdom. That he had been acquainted with courts and ministers long +enough, and knew too well that the best ministers might mistake in +points of great importance; and that he had the honour to know many more +able, and at least full as honest, as any can be at present."</p> + +<p>The Dean further said, "That since he had been so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> falsely represented, +he thought it became him to give some account of himself for about +twenty years, if it were only to justify his lordship and the city for +the honour they were going to do him." He related briefly, how, "merely +by his own personal credit, without other assistance, and in two +journeys at his own expense, he had procured a grant of the first-fruits +to the clergy, in the late Queen's time, for which he thought he +deserved some gentle treatment from his brethren.<a name="FNanchor_107_107" id="FNanchor_107_107"></a><a href="#Footnote_107_107" class="fnanchor">[107]</a> That, during all +the administration of the said ministry, he had been a constant advocate +for those who are called the Whigs,—and kept many of them in their +employments both in England and here,—and some who were afterwards the +first to lift up their heels against him." He reflected a little upon +the severe treatment he had met with upon his return to Ireland after +her Majesty's death, and for some years after. "That being forced to +live retired, he could think of no better way to do public service, than +by employing all the little money he could save, and lending it, without +interest, in small sums to poor industrious tradesmen, without examining +their party or their faith. And God had so far pleased to bless his +endeavours, that his managers tell him he hath recovered above two +hundred families in this city from ruin, and placed most of them in a +comfortable way of life."</p> + +<p>The Dean related, how much he had suffered in his purse, and with what +hazard to his liberty, by a most iniquitous judge<a name="FNanchor_108_108" id="FNanchor_108_108"></a><a href="#Footnote_108_108" class="fnanchor">[108]</a>; who, to gratify +his ambition and rage of party, had condemned an innocent book, written +with no worse a design, than to persuade the people of this kingdom to +wear their own manufactures.<a name="FNanchor_109_109" id="FNanchor_109_109"></a><a href="#Footnote_109_109" class="fnanchor">[109]</a> How the said judge had endeavoured to +get a jury to his mind; but they proved so honest, that he was forced to +keep them eleven hours, and send them back nine times; until, at last, +they were compelled to leave the printer<a name="FNanchor_110_110" id="FNanchor_110_110"></a><a href="#Footnote_110_110" class="fnanchor">[110]</a> to the mercy of the court, +and the Dean was forced to procure a <i>noli prosequi</i> from a noble +person, then secretary of state, who had been his old friend.</p> + +<p>The Dean then freely confessed himself to be the author of those books +called "The Drapier's Letters;" spoke <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>gently of the proclamation, +offering three hundred pounds to discover the writer.<a name="FNanchor_111_111" id="FNanchor_111_111"></a><a href="#Footnote_111_111" class="fnanchor">[111]</a> He said, +"That although a certain person was pleased to mention those books in a +slight manner at a public assembly, yet he (the Dean) had learned to +believe, that there were ten thousand to one in the kingdom who differed +from that person; and the people of England, who had ever heard of the +matter, as well as in France, were all of the same opinion."</p> + +<p>The Dean mentioned several other particulars, some of which those from +whom I had the account could not recollect; and others, although of +great consequence, perhaps his enemies would not allow him.</p> + +<p>The Dean concluded, with acknowledging to have expressed his wishes, +that an inscription might have been graven on the box, shewing some +reason why the city thought fit to do him that honour, which was much +out of the common forms to a person in a private station;—those +distinctions being usually made only to chief governors, or persons in +very high employments.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT,</h3> + +<h4>IN HIS</h4> + +<h4>DEFENCE AGAINST JOSHUA, LORD ALLEN. <a name="FNanchor_112_112" id="FNanchor_112_112"></a><a href="#Footnote_112_112" class="fnanchor">[112]</a></h4> + +<p class='center'><i>Feb</i>. 18, 1729.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span></p> + + + +<p>"Whereas Dr. Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin, hath been +credibly informed, that, on Friday the 13th of this instant February, a +certain person did, in a public place, and in the hearing of a great +number, apply himself to the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor of this +city, and some of his brethren, in the following reproachful manner: 'My +lord, you and your city can squander away the public money, in giving a +gold box to a fellow who hath libelled the government!' or words to that +effect.</p> + +<p>"Now, if the said words, or words to the like effect, were intended +against him the said Dean, and as a reflection on the Right Hon. the +Lord Mayor, aldermen, and commons, for their decreeing unanimously, and +in full assembly, the freedom of this city to the said Dean, in an +honourable manner, on account of an opinion they had conceived of some +services done by him the said Dean to this city, and to the kingdom in +general,—the said Dean doth declare, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>That the said words, or words to +the like effect, are insolent, false, scandalous, malicious, and, in a +particular manner, perfidious; the said person, who is reported to have +spoken the said or the like words, having, for some years past, and even +within some few days, professed a great friendship for the said Dean; +and, what is hardly credible, sending a common friend of the Dean and +himself, not many hours after the said or the like words had been +spoken, to renew his profession of friendship to the said Dean, but +concealing the oratory; whereof the said Dean had no account till the +following day, and then told it to all his friends."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A</h4> + +<h3>LETTER</h3> + +<h4>ON</h4> + +<h3>MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE,</h3> + +<h4>AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED.</h4> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in</span> 1729.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>NOTE.</h2> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The matter of this tract explains itself. M'Culla's project was to +put in circulation notes stamped on copper to supply the deficiency +in copper coins which Wood attempted. Swift, apparently, took a +mild tone towards M'Culla's plan, but thought that M'Culla would +make too much out of it for himself. He made a counter proposal +which is fully entered into here. Nothing came either of M'Culla's +proposal or Swift's counter-suggestion.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the +edition of 1765, and compared with that of Faulkner's edition of +1772. Faulkner's edition differs in many details from that given by +Scott. The first sheet only of the original autograph manuscript is +in the Forster Collection at South Kensington.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, AND A NEW ONE +PROPOSED.</h3> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>You desire to know my opinion concerning Mr. M'Culla's project, of +circulating notes stamped on copper, that shall pass for the value of +halfpence and pence. I have some knowledge of the man; and about a month +ago he brought me his book, with a couple of his halfpenny notes: but I +was then out of order, and he could not be admitted. Since that time I +called at his house; where I discoursed, the whole affair with him as +thoroughly as I could. I am altogether a stranger to his character. He +talked to me in the usual style, with a great profession of zeal for the +public good, which is the common cant of all projectors in their Bills, +from a First Minister of State down to a corn-cutter. But I stopped him +short, as I would have done a better man; because it is too gross a +pretence to pass at any time, and especially in this age, where we all +know one another so well. Yet, whoever proposeth any scheme which may +prove to be a public benefit, I shall not quarrel if it prove likewise +very beneficial to the contriver. It is certain, that next to the want +of silver, our greatest distress in point of coin is the want of small +change, which may be some poor relief for the defect of the former, +since the Crown will not please to take that work upon them here as they +do in England. One thing in Mr. M'Culla's book is certainly right, that +no law hinders me from giving a payable note upon leather, wood, copper, +brass, iron, or any other material (except gold and silver) as well as +upon paper. The question is, whether I can sue him on a copper bond, +when there is neither his hand nor seal, nor witnesses to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> prove it? To +supply this, he hath proposed, that the materials upon which his note is +written, shall be in some degree of value equal to the debt. But that is +one principal matter to be enquired into. His scheme is this:</p> + +<p>He gives you a piece of copper for a halfpenny or penny, stamped with a +promissory note to pay you twentypence for every pound of the said +copper notes, whenever you shall return them. Eight and forty of the +halfpenny pieces are to weigh a pound, and he sells you that pound +coined and stamped for two shillings: by which he clearly gains a little +more than sixteen <i>per cent.</i>; that is to say, twopence in every +shilling. This will certainly arise to a great sum, if he should +circulate as large a quantity of his notes, as the kingdom, under the +great dearth of silver, may very probably require: enough indeed to make +any Irish tradesman's fortune; which, however, I should not repine at in +the least, if we could be sure of his fair-dealing.</p> + +<p>It was obvious for me to raise the common objection, why Mr. M'Culla +would not give security to pay the whole sum to any man who returned him +his copper notes, as my Lord Dartmouth and Colonel Moor were, by their +patents, obliged to do.<a name="FNanchor_113_113" id="FNanchor_113_113"></a><a href="#Footnote_113_113" class="fnanchor">[113]</a> To which he gave some answers plausible +enough. First, "He conceived that his coins were much nearer to the +intrinsic value than any of those coined by patents, the bulk and +goodness of the metal fully equalling the best English halfpence made by +the crown: That he apprehended the ill-will of envious and designing +people, who, if they found him to have a great vent for his notes, since +he wanted the protection of a patent, might make a run upon him, which +he could not be able to support: And lastly, that his copper, (as is +already said,) being equal in value and bulk to the English halfpence, +he did not apprehend they should ever be returned, unless a combination, +proceeding from spite and envy, might be formed against him."</p> + +<p>But there are some points in his proposals which I cannot<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> +well answer for; nor do I know whether he would be able to do it +himself. The first is, whether the copper he gives us will be as good as +what the crown provided for the English halfpence and farthings; and, +secondly, whether he will always continue to give us as good; and, +thirdly, when he will think fit to stop his hand, and give us no more; +for I should be as sorry to lie at the mercy of Mr. M'Culla, as of Mr. +Wood.</p> + +<p>There is another difficulty of the last importance. It is known enough +that the Crown is supposed to be neither gainer nor loser by the coinage +of any metal; for they subtract, or ought to subtract, no more from the +intrinsic value than what will just pay all the charges of the mint; and +how much that will amount to, is the question. By what I could gather +from Mr. M'Culla, good copper is worth fourteenpence per pound. By this +computation, if he sells his copper notes for two shillings the pound, +and will pay twentypence back, then the expense of coinage for one pound +of copper must be sixpence, which is thirty per cent. The world should +be particularly satisfied on this article before he vends his notes; for +the discount of thirty per cent. is prodigious, and vastly more than I +can conceive it ought to be. For, if we add to that proportion the +sixteen per cent. which he avows to keep for his own profit, there will +be a discount of about forty-six per cent. Or, to reckon, I think, a +fairer way: Whoever buys a pound of Mr. M'Culla's coin, at two shillings +per pound, carries home only the real value of fourteenpence, which is a +pound of copper; and thus he is a loser of 41<i>l.</i> 13<i>s.</i> 4<i>d.</i> per +cent.<a name="FNanchor_114_114" id="FNanchor_114_114"></a><a href="#Footnote_114_114" class="fnanchor">[114]</a> But, however, this high discount of thirty per cent. will be +no objection against M'Culla's proposals; because, if the charge of +coinage will honestly amount to so much, and we suppose his copper notes +may be returned upon him, he will be the greater sufferer of the two; +because the buyer can lose but fourpence in the pound, and M'Culla must +lose sixpence, which was the charge of the coinage.<a name="FNanchor_115_115" id="FNanchor_115_115"></a><a href="#Footnote_115_115" class="fnanchor">[115]</a></p> + +<p>Upon the whole, there are some points which must be settled to the +general satisfaction, before we can safely take <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span>Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes for value received; and how he will give that satisfaction, is not +within my knowledge or conjecture. The first point is, that we shall be +always sure of receiving good copper, equal in bulk and fineness to the +best English halfpence.</p> + +<p>The second point is, to know what allowance he makes to himself, either +out of the weight or mixture of his copper, or both, for the charge of +his coinage. As to the weight, the matter is easy by his own scheme; +for, as I have said before, he proposes forty-eight to weigh a pound, +which he gives you for two shillings, and receives it by the pound at +twentypence: so that, supposing pure copper to be fourteenpence a pound, +he makes you pay thirty per cent. for the labour of coining, as I have +already observed, besides sixteen per cent. when he sells it. But if to +this he adds any alloy, to debase the metal, although it be not above +ten per cent.; then Mr. M'Culla's promissory notes will, as to the +intrinsic value of the metal, be above forty-seven per cent. discount.</p> + +<p>For, subtracting ten per cent. off sixty pound's worth of copper, it +will (to avoid fractions) be about five and a half per cent. in the +whole 100<i>l.</i>, which, added to</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="1" summary="value of copper"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>41</td><td align='right'>13</td><td align='right'>4</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='right'>5</td><td align='right'>10</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>—</td><td align='left'>—</td><td align='left'>—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>will be per cent.</td><td align='left'>47</td><td align='right'>3</td><td align='right'>4</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>That we are under great distress for change, and that Mr. M'Culla's +copper notes, on supposition of the metal being pure, is less liable to +objection than the project of Wood, may be granted: but such a discount, +where we are not sure even of our twentypence a pound, appears hitherto +a dead weight on his scheme.</p> + +<p>Since I writ this, calling to mind that I had some copper halfpence by +me, I weighed them with those of Mr. M'Culla, and observed as follows:</p> + +<p>First, I weighed Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny against an English one of King +Charles II., which out-weighed Mr. M'Culla's a fourth part, or +twenty-five per cent.</p> + +<p>I likewise weighed an Irish Patrick and David halfpenny, which +outweighed Mr. M'Culla's twelve and a half per cent.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span> It had a very fair +and deep impression, and milled very skilfully round.</p> + +<p>I found that even a common halfpenny, well-preserved, weighed equal to +Mr. M'Culla's. And even some of Wood's halfpence were near equal in +weight to his. Therefore, if it be true that he does not think Wood's +copper to have been faulty, he may probably give us no better.</p> + +<p>I have laid these loose thoughts together with little order, to give +you, and others who may read them, an opportunity of digesting them +better. I am no enemy to Mr. M'Culla's project; but I would have it put +upon a better foot. I own that this halfpenny of King Charles II., which +I weighed against Mr. M'Culla's, was of the fairest kind I had seen. +However, it is plain the Crown could afford it without being a +loser.<a name="FNanchor_116_116" id="FNanchor_116_116"></a><a href="#Footnote_116_116" class="fnanchor">[116]</a> But it is probable that the officers of the mint were then +more honest than they have since thought fit to be; for I confess not to +have met those of any other year so weighty, or in appearance of so good +metal, among all the copper coins of the three last reigns; yet these, +however, did much outweigh those of Mr. M'Culla; for I have tried the +experiment on a hundred of them. I have indeed seen accidentally one or +two very light; but it must certainly have been done by chance, or +rather I suppose them to be counterfeits. Be that as it will, it is +allowed on all hands, that good copper was never known to be cheaper +than it is at present. I am ignorant of the price, further than by his +informing me that it is only fourteenpence a pound; by which, I observe, +he charges the coinage at thirty per cent.; and therefore I cannot but +think his demands are exorbitant. But, to say the truth, the dearness or +cheapness of the metal do not properly enter into the question. What we +desire is, that it should be of the best kind, and as weighty as can be +afforded; that the profit of the contriver should be reduced from +sixteen to eight per cent.; and the charge of coinage, if possible, from +thirty to ten, or fifteen at most.</p> + +<p>Mr. M'Culla must also give good security that he will coin only a +determinate sum, not exceeding twenty thousand pounds; by which, +although he should deal with all upright<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span>ness imaginable, and make his +coin as good as that I weighed of King Charles II., he will, at sixteen +per cent., gain three thousand two hundred pounds; a very good +additional job to a private tradesman's fortune!</p> + +<p>I must advise him also to employ better workmen, and make his +impressions deeper and plainer; by which a rising rim may be left about +the edge of his coin, to preserve the letter from wearing out too soon. +He hath no wardens nor masters, or other officers of the mint, to suck +up his profit; and therefore can afford to coin cheaper than the Crown, +if he will but find good materials, proper implements, and skilful +workmen.</p> + +<p>Whether this project will succeed in Mr. M'Culla's hands, (which, if it +be honestly executed, I should be glad to see,) one thing I am confident +of, that it might be easily brought to perfection by a society of nine +or ten honest gentlemen of fortune, who wish well to their country, and +would be content to be neither gainers nor losers, further than the bare +interest of their money. And Mr. M'Culla, as being the first starter of +the scheme, might be considered and rewarded by such a society; whereof, +although I am not a man of fortune, I should think it an honour and +happiness to be one, even with borrowed money upon the best security I +could give. And, first, I am confident, without any skill, but by +general reason, that the charge of coining copper would be very much +less than thirty per cent. Secondly, I believe ten thousand pounds, in +halfpence and farthings, would be sufficient for the whole kingdom, even +under our great and most unnecessary distress for the want of silver; +and that, without such a distress, half the sum would suffice. For, I +compute and reason thus: the city of Dublin, by a gross computation, +contains ten thousand families; and I am told by shopkeepers, "That if +silver were as plenty as usual, two shillings in copper would be +sufficient, in the course of business, for each family." But, in +consideration of the want of silver, I would allow five shillings to +each family, which would amount to 2,500<i>l.</i>; and, to help this, I would +recommend a currency of all the genuine undefaced harp-halfpence, which +are left, of Lord Dartmouth's and Moor's patents under King Charles II.; +and the small Patrick and David for farthings. To the rest of the +kingdom,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span> I would assign the 7,500<i>l.</i> remaining; reckoning Dublin to +answer one-fourth of the kingdom, as London is judged to answer (if I +mistake not) one-third of England; I mean in the view of money only.</p> + +<p>To compute our want of small change by the number of souls in the +kingdom, besides being perplexed, is, I think, by no means just. They +have been reckoned at a million and a half; whereof a million at least +are beggars in all circumstances, except that of wandering about for +alms; and that circumstance may arrive soon enough, when it will be time +to add another ten thousand pounds in copper. But, without doubt, the +families of Ireland, who lie chiefly under the difficulties of wanting +small change, cannot be above forty or fifty thousand, which the sum of +ten thousand pounds, with the addition of the fairest old halfpence, +would tolerably supply; for, if we give too great a loose to any +projector to pour in upon us what he pleases, the kingdom will be, (how +shall I express it under our present circumstances?) more than undone.</p> + +<p>And hence appears, in a very strong light, the villainy of Wood, who +proposed the coinage of one hundred and eight thousand pounds in copper, +for the use of Ireland; whereby every family in the kingdom would be +loaden with ten or a dozen shillings, although Wood might not transgress +the bounds of his patent, and although no counterfeits, either at home +or abroad, were added to the number; the contrary to both which would +indubitably have arrived. So ill informed are great men on the other +side, who talk of a million with as little ceremony as we do of +half-a-crown!</p> + +<p>But to return to the proposal I have made: Suppose ten gentlemen, lovers +of their country, should raise 200<i>l.</i> a-piece; and, from the time the +money is deposited as they shall agree, should begin to charge it with +seven per cent. for their own use; that they should, as soon as +possible, provide a mint and good workmen, and buy copper sufficient for +coining two thousand pounds, subtracting a fifth part of the interest of +ten thousand pounds for the charges of the tools, and fitting up a place +for a mint; the other four parts of the same interest to be subtracted +equally out of the four remaining coinages of 2,000<i>l.</i> each, with a +just allowance for other necessary incidents. Let the charge of coinage +be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span> fairly reckoned, and the kingdom informed of it, as well as of the +price of copper. Let the coin be as well and deeply stamped as it ought. +Let the metal be as pure as can consist to have it rightly coined, +(wherein I am wholly ignorant,) and the bulk as large as that of King +Charles II. And let this club of ten gentlemen give their joint security +to receive all the coins they issue out for seven or ten years, and +return gold and silver without any defalcation.</p> + +<p>Let the same club, or company, when they have issued out the first two +thousand pounds, go on the second year, if they find a demand, and that +their scheme hath answered to their own intention, as well as to the +satisfaction of the public. And, if they find seven per cent. not +sufficient, let them subtract eight, beyond which I would not have them +go. And when they have in five years coined ten thousand pounds, let +them give public notice that they will proceed no further, but shut up +their mint, and dismiss their workmen; unless the real, universal, +unsolicited, declaration of the nobility and gentry of the kingdom shall +signify a desire that they shall go on for a certain sum farther.</p> + +<p>This company may enter into certain regulations among themselves; one of +which should be, to keep nothing concealed, and duly to give an account +to the world of their whole methods of acting.</p> + +<p>Give me leave to compute, wholly at random, what charge the kingdom will +be at, by the loss of intrinsic value in the coinage of 10,000<i>l.</i> in +copper, under the management of such a society of gentlemen.</p> + +<p>First, It is plain that instead of somewhat more than sixteen per cent. +as demanded by Mr. M'Culla, this society desires but eight per cent.</p> + +<p>Secondly, Whereas Mr. M'Culla charges the expense of coinage at thirty +per cent., I hope and believe this society will be able to perform it at +ten.</p> + +<p>Thirdly, Whereas it doth not appear that Mr. M'Culla can give any +security for the goodness of his copper, because not one in ten thousand +have the skill to distinguish, the society will be all engaged that +theirs shall be of the best standard.</p> + +<p>Fourthly, That whereas Mr. M'Culla's halfpence are one-fourth part +lighter than that kind coined in the time of King<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> Charles II., these +gentlemen will oblige themselves to the public, to give their coin of +the same weight and goodness with those halfpence, unless they shall +find they cannot afford it; and, in that case, they shall beforehand +inform the public, show their reasons, and signify how large they can +make them without being losers; and so give over or pursue their scheme, +as they find the opinion of the world to be. However, I do not doubt but +they can afford them as large, and of as good metal, as the best English +halfpence that have been coined in the three last reigns, which very +much outweighed those of Mr. M'Culla. And this advantage will arise in +proportion, by lessening the charge of coinage from thirty per cent. to +ten or fifteen, or twenty at most. But I confess myself in the dark on +that article; only I think it impossible it should amount to any +proportion near thirty per cent.; otherwise the coiners of those +counterfeit halfpence called raps<a name="FNanchor_117_117" id="FNanchor_117_117"></a><a href="#Footnote_117_117" class="fnanchor">[117]</a> would have little encouragement +to follow their trade.</p> + +<p>But the indubitable advantages, by having the management in such a +society, would be the paying eight per cent. instead of sixteen, the +being sure of the goodness and just weight of the coin, and the period +to be put to any further coinage than what was absolutely necessary to +supply the wants and desires of the kingdom; and all this under the +security of ten gentlemen of credit and fortune, who would be ready to +give the best security and satisfaction, that they had no design to turn +the scheme into a job.</p> + +<p>As to any mistakes I have made in computation, they are of little +moment; and I shall not descend so low as to justify them against any +caviller.</p> + +<p>The strongest objection against what I offer, and which perhaps may make +it appear visionary, is the difficulty to find half a score gentlemen, +who, out of a public spirit, will be at the trouble, for no more profit +than one per cent. above the legal interest, to be overseers of a mint +for five years; and perhaps, without any justice, raise the clamour of +the people against them. Besides, it is most certain that many a squire +is as fond of a job, and as dexterous to make the best of it, as Mr. +M'Culla himself, or any of his level.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span></p> + +<p>However, I do not doubt but there may be ten such persons in this town, +if they had only some visible mark to know them at sight. Yet I just +foresee another inconveniency; That knavish men are fitter to deal with +others of their own denomination; while those who are honest and +best-intentioned may be the instruments of as much mischief to the +public, for want of cunning, as the greatest knaves; and more, because +of the charitable opinion which they are apt to have of others. +Therefore, how to join the prudence of the serpent with the innocency of +the dove, in this affair, is the most difficult point. It is not so hard +to find an honest man, as to make this honest man active, and vigilant, +and skilful; which, I doubt, will require a spur of profit greater than +my scheme will afford him, unless he will be contented with the honour +of serving his country, and the reward of a good conscience.</p> + +<p>After reviewing what I had written, I see very well that I have not +given any allowance for the first charge of preparing all things +necessary for coining, which, I am told, will amount to about 200<i>l.</i> +besides 20<i>l.</i> per annum for five years rent of a house to work in. I +can only say, that, this making in all 300<i>l.</i>, it will be an addition +of no more than three per cent. out of 10,000<i>l.</i></p> + +<p>But the great advantages to the public, by having the coinage placed in +the hands of ten gentlemen such as I have already described, (if such +are to be found,) are these:—</p> + +<p>First, They propose no other gain to themselves than one per cent. above +the legal interest for the money they advance; which will hardly afford +them coffee when they meet at their mint-house.</p> + +<p>Secondly, They bind themselves to make their coins of as good copper as +the best English halfpence, and as well coined, and of equal weight; and +do likewise bind themselves to charge the public with not one farthing +for the expense of coinage, more than it shall really stand them in.</p> + +<p>Thirdly, They will, for a limited term of seven or ten years, as shall +be thought proper upon mature consideration, pay gold and silver, +without any defalcation, for all their own coin that shall be returned +upon their hands.</p> + +<p>Fourthly, They will take care that the coins shall have a deep +impression, leaving a rising rim on both sides, to pre<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span>vent being +defaced in a long time; and the edges shall be milled.</p> + +<p>I suppose they need not be very apprehensive of counterfeits, which it +will be difficult to make so as not to be discovered; for it is plain +that those bad halfpence called raps are so easily distinguished, even +from the most worn genuine halfpenny, that nobody will now take them for +a farthing, although under the great present want of change.</p> + +<p>I shall here subjoin some computations relating to Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes. They were sent to me by a person well skilled in such +calculations; and therefore I refer them to the reader.<a name="FNanchor_118_118" id="FNanchor_118_118"></a><a href="#Footnote_118_118" class="fnanchor">[118]</a></p> + +<p>Mr. M'Culla charges good copper at fourteenpence per pound: but I know +not whether he means avoirdupois or troy weight.</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="analysis of value of M'Cullas penny notes"> +<tr><td align='left'>Avoirdupois is sixteen ounces to a pound,</td><td align='left'>6960 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A pound troy weight,</td><td align='left'>5760 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Mr. M'Culla's copper is fourteenpence per pound avoirdupois.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Two of Mr. M'Culla's penny notes, one with another, weigh</td><td align='left'>524 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>By which computation, two shillings of his notes, which he</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>sells for one pound weight, will weigh</td><td align='left'>6288 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But one pound avoirdupois weighs, as above,</td><td align='left'>6960 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>This difference makes 10 per cent. to Mr. M'Culla's profit, in point of weight.</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The old Patrick and David halfpenny weighs</td><td align='left'>149 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny weighs</td><td align='left'>131 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='left'>———</td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>The difference is</td><td align='left'> 18</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Which is equal to 10-1/2 per cent.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The English halfpenny of King Charles II. weighs</td><td align='left'>167 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>M'Culla's halfpenny weighs</td><td align='left'>131 grains.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>———</td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'>The difference</td><td align='left'> 36</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Which difference, allowed a fifth part, is 20 per cent.</td><td align='left'> </td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span></p> + +<p class='center'>ANOTHER COMPUTATION.</p> + +<p>Mr. M'Culla allows his pound of copper (coinage included) to be worth +twentypence; for which he demands two shillings.</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="Another Computation"> +<tr><td align='left'>His coinage he computes at sixpence per pound weight; therefore,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>he laying out only twentypence, and gaining fourpence,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>he makes per cent. profit,</td><td align='left'>20</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The sixpence per pound weight, allowed for coinage,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>makes per cent.</td><td align='left'>30</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The want of weight in his halfpenny, compared as above,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>is per cent.</td><td align='left'>10</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>By all which (viz. coinage, profit, and want of weight)</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>—the public loses per cent.</td><td align='left'>60</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>If Mr. M'Culla's coins will not pass, and he refuses to receive them +back, the owner cannot sell them at above twelvepence per pound weight; +whereby, with the defect of weight of 10 per cent., he will lose 60 per +cent.</p> + +<p>The scheme of the society, raised as high as it can possibly be, will be +only thus:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="What the scheme of the society can attain"> +<tr><td align='left'>For interest of their money, per cent.</td><td align='right'>8</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For coinage, instead of 10, suppose at most per cent.</td><td align='right'>20</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For <i>l.</i>300 laid out for tools, a mint, and house-rent,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>charge 3 per cent. upon the coinage of <i>l.</i>10,000,</td><td align='right'>3</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'>—</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Charges in all upon interest, coinage, &c. per cent.,</td><td align='right'>31</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>Which, with all the advantages above-mentioned, of the goodness of the +metal, the largeness of the coin, the deepness and fairness of the +impression, the assurance of the society confining itself to such a sum +as they undertake, or as the kingdom shall approve; and lastly, their +paying in gold or silver for all their coin returned upon their hands +without any defalcation, would be of mighty benefit to the kingdom; and, +with a little steadiness and activity, could, I doubt not, be easily +compassed.</p> + +<p>I would not in this scheme recommend the method of promissory notes, +after Mr. M'Culla's manner; but, as I have seen in old Irish coins, the +words <span class="smcap">civitas dvblin</span>, on one side, with the year of our Lord +and the Irish harp on the reverse.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL</h3> + +<h5>THAT</h5> + +<h4>ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND<br /> +SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN<br /> +IRISH MANUFACTURES.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span></h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The arguments advanced in this tract are practically repetitions of +those already given in previous pieces. Swift laid much stress on +the people buying and wearing goods made in Ireland, since in that +way the money would remain in the country. In this little tract he +winds up with a special appeal to the women of Ireland.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is based on that of the quarto edition (vol. +viii.) of 1765, and compared with Faulkner's of 1772.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES<br />AND WOMEN OF IRELAND SHOULD<br />APPEAR +CONSTANTLY IN<br />IRISH MANUFACTURES.</h3> + + +<p>There was a treatise written about nine years ago, to persuade the +people of Ireland to wear their own manufactures.<a name="FNanchor_119_119" id="FNanchor_119_119"></a><a href="#Footnote_119_119" class="fnanchor">[119]</a> This treatise was +allowed to have not one syllable in it of party or disaffection; but was +wholly founded upon the growing poverty of the nation, occasioned by the +utter want of trade in every branch, except that ruinous importation of +all foreign extravagancies from other countries. This treatise was +presented, by the grand jury of the city and county of Dublin, as a +scandalous, seditious, and factious pamphlet. I forget who was the +foreman of the city grand jury; but the foreman for the county was one +Doctor Seal, register to the Archbishop of Dublin, wherein he differed +much from the sentiments of his lord.<a name="FNanchor_120_120" id="FNanchor_120_120"></a><a href="#Footnote_120_120" class="fnanchor">[120]</a> The printer<a name="FNanchor_121_121" id="FNanchor_121_121"></a><a href="#Footnote_121_121" class="fnanchor">[121]</a> was tried +before the late Mr. Whitshed, that famous Lord chief-justice; who, on +the bench, laying his hand on his heart, declared, upon his salvation, +that the author was a Jacobite, and had a design to beget a quarrel +between the two nations.<a name="FNanchor_122_122" id="FNanchor_122_122"></a><a href="#Footnote_122_122" class="fnanchor">[122]</a> In the midst of this prosecution, about +fifteen hundred weavers were forced to beg their bread, and had a +general contribution made for their relief, which just served to make +them drunk for a week; and then they were forced to turn rogues, or +strolling beggars, or to leave the kingdom.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span></p><p>The Duke of Grafton,<a name="FNanchor_123_123" id="FNanchor_123_123"></a><a href="#Footnote_123_123" class="fnanchor">[123]</a> who was then Lieutenant, being perfectly +ashamed of so infamous and unpopular a proceeding, obtained from England +a <i>noli prosequi</i> for the printer. Yet the grand jury had solemn thanks +given them from the Secretary of State.</p> + +<p>I mention this passage (perhaps too much forgotten,) to shew how +dangerous it hath been for the best meaning person to write one syllable +in the defence of his country, or discover the miserable condition it is +in.</p> + +<p>And to prove this truth, I will produce one instance more; wholly +omitting the famous case of the Drapier, and the proclamation against +him, as well as the perverseness of another jury against the same Mr. +Whitshed, who was violently bent to act the second part in another +scene.<a name="FNanchor_124_124" id="FNanchor_124_124"></a><a href="#Footnote_124_124" class="fnanchor">[124]</a></p> + +<p>About two years ago, there was a small paper printed, which was called, +"A Short View of the State of Ireland," relating the several causes +whereby any country may grow rich, and applying them to Ireland.<a name="FNanchor_125_125" id="FNanchor_125_125"></a><a href="#Footnote_125_125" class="fnanchor">[125]</a> +Whitshed was dead, and consequently the printer was not troubled. Mist, +the famous journalist, happened to reprint this paper in London, for +which his press-folks were prosecuted for almost a twelve-month; and, +for aught I know, are not yet discharged.<a name="FNanchor_126_126" id="FNanchor_126_126"></a><a href="#Footnote_126_126" class="fnanchor">[126]</a></p> + +<p>This is our case; insomuch, that although I am often without money in my +pocket, I dare not own it in some company, for fear of being thought +disaffected.</p> + +<p>But, since I am determined to take care that the author of this paper +shall not be discovered (following herein the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span>most prudent practice of +the Drapier,) I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein +our corn hath miscarried, did no more contribute to our present misery, +than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would +contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, +although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore +us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which +might indeed warm his fur coat, but never bring him back to life.</p> + +<p>The short of the matter is this: The distresses of the kingdom are +operating more and more every day, by very large degrees, and so have +been doing for above a dozen years past.</p> + +<p>If you demand from whence these distresses have arisen, I desire to ask +the following question:</p> + +<p>If two-thirds of any kingdom's revenue be exported to another country, +without one farthing of value in return; and if the said kingdom be +forbidden the most profitable branches of trade wherein to employ the +other third, and only allowed to traffic in importing those commodities +which are most ruinous to itself<a name="FNanchor_127_127" id="FNanchor_127_127"></a><a href="#Footnote_127_127" class="fnanchor">[127]</a>; how shall that kingdom stand?</p> + +<p>If this question were formed into the first proposition of an +hypothetical syllogism, I defy the man born in Ireland, who is now in +the fairest way of getting a collectorship, or a cornet's post, to give +a good reason for denying it.</p> + +<p>Let me put another case. Suppose a gentleman's estate of two hundred +pounds a year should sink to one hundred, by some accident, whether by +an earthquake, or inundation, it matters not: and suppose the said +gentleman utterly hopeless and unqualified ever to retrieve the loss; +how is he otherwise to proceed in his future economy, than by reducing +it on every article to one half less, unless he will be content to fly +his country, or rot in jail? This is a representation of Ireland's +condition; only with one fault, that it is a little too favourable. +Neither am I able to propose a full remedy for this, that shall ever be +granted, but only a small prolongation of life, until God shall +miraculously dispose the hearts of our neighbours, our kinsmen, our +fellow-protestants, fellow-subjects, and fellow rational creatures, to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span>permit us to starve without running further in debt. I am informed that +our national debt (and God knows how we wretches came by that +fashionable thing a national debt) is about two hundred and fifty +thousand pounds; which is at least one-third of the whole kingdom's +rents, after our absentees and other foreign drains are paid, and about +fifty thousand pounds more than all the cash.</p> + +<p>It seems there are several schemes for raising a fund to pay the +interest of this formidable sum (not the principal, for this is allowed +impossible). The necessity of raising such a fund, is strongly and +regularly pleaded, from the late deficiencies in the duties and customs. +And is it the fault of Ireland that these funds are deficient? If they +depend on trade, can it possibly be otherwise, while we have neither +liberty to trade, nor money to trade with; neither hands to work, nor +business to employ them, if we had? Our diseases are visible enough both +in their causes and effects; and the cures are well known, but +impossible to be applied.</p> + +<p>If my steward comes and tells me, that my rents are sunk so low, that +they are very little more than sufficient to pay my servants their +wages; have I any other course left than to cashier four in six of my +rascally footmen, and a number of other varlets in my family, of whose +insolence the whole neighbourhood complains? And I should think it +extremely severe in any law, to force me to maintain a household of +fifty servants, and fix their wages, before I had offered my rent-roll +upon oath to the legislators.</p> + +<p>To return from digressing: I am told one scheme for raising a fund to +pay the interest of our national debt, is, by a further duty of forty +shillings a tun upon wine. Some gentlemen would carry this matter much +further, by raising it to twelve pounds; which, in a manner, would +amount to a prohibition: thus weakly arguing from the practice of +England.</p> + +<p>I have often taken notice, both in print and in discourse, that there is +no topic so fallacious, either in talk or in writing, as to argue how we +ought to act in Ireland, from the example of England, Holland, France, +or any other country, whose inhabitants are allowed the common rights +and liberties of humankind. I could undertake to name six or seven of +the most uncontrolled maxims in government, which are utterly false in +this kingdom.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p> + +<p>As to the additional duty on wine, I think any person may deliver his +opinion upon it, until it shall have passed into a law; and till then, I +declare mine to be positively against it.</p> + +<p>First, Because there is no nation yet known, in either hemisphere, where +the people of all conditions are more in want of some cordial to keep up +their spirits, than in this of ours. I am not in jest; and if the fact +will not be allowed me, I shall not argue it.</p> + +<p>Secondly, It is too well and generally known, that this tax of forty +shillings additional on every tun of wine, (which will be double, at +least, to the home consumer) will increase equally every new session of +Parliament, until, perhaps, it comes to twelve pounds.</p> + +<p>Thirdly, Because, as the merchants inform me, and as I have known many +the like instances in England, this additional tax will more probably +lessen this branch of the revenue, than increase it. And therefore Sir +John Stanley, a commissioner of the customs in England, used to say, +that the House of Commons were generally mistaken in matters of trade, +by an erroneous opinion that two and two make four. Thus, if you should +lay an additional duty of one penny a pound on raisins or sugar, the +revenue, instead of rising, would certainly sink; and the consequence +would only be, to lessen the number of plum-puddings, and ruin the +confectioner.</p> + +<p>Fourthly, I am likewise assured by merchants, that upon this additional +forty shillings, the French will at least equally raise their duties +upon all commodities we export thither.</p> + +<p>Fifthly, If an original extract of the exports and imports be true, we +have been gainers, upon the balance, by our trade with France, for +several years past; and, although our gain amounts to no great sum, we +ought to be satisfied, since we are no losers, with the only consolation +we are capable of receiving.</p> + +<p>Lastly, The worst consequence is behind. If we raise the duty on wine to +a considerable height, we lose the only hold we have of keeping among us +the few gentlemen of any tolerable estates. I am confident there is +hardly a gentleman of eight hundred pounds a year and upwards, in this +kingdom, who would balance half an hour to consider<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span> whether he should +live here or in England, if a family could be as cheaply maintained in +the one as the other. As to eatables, they are as cheap in many fine +counties of England, as in some very indifferent ones here; or, if there +be any difference, that vein of thrift and prudence in economy, which +passes there without reproach, (and chiefly in London itself,) would +amply make up the difference. But the article of French wine is hardly +tolerable, in any degree of plenty, to a middling fortune; and this is +it, which, by growing habitual, wholly turns the scale with those few +landed men, disengaged from employments, who content themselves to live +hospitably with plenty of good wine in their own country, rather than in +penury and obscurity in another, with bad, or with none at all.</p> + +<p>Having, therefore, as far as in me lies, abolished this additional duty +upon wine; for I am not under the least concern about paying the +interest of the national debt, but leave it, as in loyalty bound, wholly +to the wisdom of the honourable House of Commons; I come now to consider +by what methods we may be able to put off and delay our utter undoing as +long as it is possible.</p> + +<p>I never have discoursed with any reasonable man upon this subject, who +did not allow that there was no remedy left us, but to lessen the +importation of all unnecessary commodities as much as it was possible; +and likewise either to persuade our absentees to spend their money at +home, which is impossible; or tax them at five shillings in the pound +during their absence, with such allowances, upon necessary occasions, as +it shall be thought convenient: or, by permitting us a free trade, which +is denied to no other nation upon earth. The three last methods are +treated by Mr. Prior, in his most useful treatise, added to his list of +absentees.<a name="FNanchor_128_128" id="FNanchor_128_128"></a><a href="#Footnote_128_128" class="fnanchor">[128]</a></p> + +<p>It is to gratify the vanity, and pride, and luxury of the women, and of +the young fops who admire them, that we owe this insupportable +grievance, of bringing in the instruments of our ruin. There is annually +brought over to this <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span>kingdom near ninety thousand pounds worth of silk, +whereof the greater part is manufactured. Thirty thousand pounds more is +expended in muslin, holland, cambric, and calico. What the price of lace +amounts to, is not easy to be collected from the custom-house book, +being a kind of goods that takes up little room, and is easily run; but, +considering the prodigious price of a woman's head-dress, at ten, +twelve, twenty pounds a yard, must be very great. The tea, rated at +seven shillings per pound, comes to near twelve thousand pounds; but, +considering it as the common luxury of every chambermaid, sempstress, +and tradesman's wife, both in town and country, however they come by it, +must needs cost the kingdom double that sum. Coffee is somewhere above +seven thousand pounds. I have seen no account of the chocolate, and some +other Indian or American goods. The drapery imported is about +four-and-twenty thousand pounds. The whole amounts (with one or two +other particulars) to one hundred and fifty thousand pounds. The +lavishing of all which money is just as prudent and necessary, as to see +a man in an embroidered coat, begging out of Newgate in an old shoe.</p> + +<p>I allow that the thrown and raw silk is less pernicious, because we have +some share in the manufacture: but we are not now in circumstances to +trifle. It costs us above forty thousand pounds a-year; and if the +ladies, till better times, will not be content to go in their own +country shifts, I wish they may go in rags.</p> + +<p>Let them vie with each other in the fineness of their native linen: +their beauty and gentleness will as well appear, as if they were covered +over with diamonds and brocade.</p> + +<p>I believe no man is so weak, as to hope or expect that such a +reformation can be brought about by a law. But a thorough hearty, +unanimous vote, in both houses of Parliament, might perhaps answer as +well: every senator, noble or plebeian, giving his honour, that neither +himself, nor any of his family, would, in their dress, or furniture of +their houses, make use of anything except what was of the growth and +manufacture of this kingdom; and that they would use the utmost of their +power, influence, and credit, to prevail on their tenants, dependants, +and friends, to follow their example.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A MODEST</h3> + +<h2>PROPOSAL</h2> + +<h4>For preventing the</h4> + +<h3>CHILDREN</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h3>POOR PEOPLE</h3> + +<h5>From being a Burthen to</h5> + +<h3>Their Parents or Country,</h3> + +<h4>AND</h4> + +<h4>For making them Beneficial to the</h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Publick</span>.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<h3>By Dr. Swift.</h3> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'><i>Dublin</i>, Printed by <i>S. Harding</i>:</p> + +<p class='center'><i>London</i>, Re-printed; and sold by <i>J. Roberts</i> in <i>Warwick-lane</i>, and +the Pamphlet-Shops.<br /> +<span class="smcap">M.dcc.xxix.</span></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Perhaps in no literature is there to be found a piece of writing in +any sense comparable to this "Modest Proposal." Written, +apparently, in a light and comic vein, it might deceive the casual +reader into the belief that Swift had achieved a joke. It has the +air of a smiling and indifferent <i>raconteur</i> amusing an +after-dinner table. In truth, however, this piece of writing is a +terrible indictment made by an advocate speaking against the result +of a tyranny of power which, through wicked stupidity or complacent +indifference, had afflicted a people almost to extinction. The +restraint of the writer evinced in this tract, is the more +remarkable, when we remember that he was Ireland's foremost +patriot, that he had been her champion for liberty and +independence, and that an indignation filled him at all times, +lacerating his heart, against the cruelty and oppression and +wretchedness of humanity generally. Here, he sits down and writes +as calmly as if composing an ordinary sermon, and proposes, in cold +blood, to alleviate the poverty of the Irish people by the sale of +their children as table food for the rich. He even goes into +calculations as to cost of breeding, and shows how a mother might +earn eight shillings a year on each child, by disposing of its +carcass for ten shillings. Of the million and a half people who +inhabit the country, he assumes that there are 200,000 who beget +children; of these about 30,000 are able to provide for their +offspring, but the balance of 170,000 must inevitably become a +burden. What is to become of them? Many schemes have been proposed +to meet their case, but not one of them has answered. Trade and +agriculture gave them no opportunity, since the trade of the +country was almost at a standstill, and land was now either too +dear to keep or too poor to cultivate. At the time of Swift's +writing Ireland had passed through three frightful years of famine. +Corn had become so dear that riots occurred at the ports where what +corn remained was being exported. The land, as Swift wrote to Pope +(August 11th, 1729) was in every place strewn with beggars. The +poor labourer, had work been found for him, was too weak in body to +undertake it. Thousands had already died of starvation and the +diseases consequent on hunger. Those that managed to exist did so +in filth, and dying every day, as Swift wrote on another occasion, +"and rotting, by cold and famine, and filth and vermin."</p> + +<p>No, there was only one way out of the difficulty, and that was to +have these poor people breed children, which they could profitably +dispose of for food. Let them fatten their offspring as best they +could and sell them dead or alive for cooking. The irony of the +proposition may sound appalling to us in this century, but Swift +was not exaggerating the distress of his day. Even Primate Boulter, +who was certainly the last man to overstate an Irish case, sent +such reports as gave the English Government anxiety. To Swift it +was no time for polite speeches and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span>calm proposals. He had already +given them in abundance. Now was the time for something merry and +with laughter:</p> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"I may storm and rage in vain;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">It but stupifies your brain.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">But with raillery to nettle,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Set your thoughts upon their mettle."<br /></span> +</div></div> + + +<p>It was in this spirit that the "Modest Proposal" was written. Swift +concludes with a final touch by telling us that he has nothing to +gain personally by his suggestion, since his "youngest child is +nine and his wife past child-bearing."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is that of the original issue +collated with that given by Faulkner.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A</h4> +<h3>MODEST PROPOSAL</h3> + +<h4>FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE<br /> +FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS<br /> +OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL<br /> +TO THE PUBLIC.</h4> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p> + + +<p>It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or +travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and +cabin-doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, +four, or six children, <i>all in rags</i>, and importuning every passenger +for an alms. These mothers instead of being able to work for their +honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling, to +beg sustenance for their helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either +turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear Native Country to +fight for the Pretender in Spain,<a name="FNanchor_129_129" id="FNanchor_129_129"></a><a href="#Footnote_129_129" class="fnanchor">[129]</a> or sell themselves to the +Barbadoes.</p> + +<p>I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of +children, in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their +mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable +state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and therefore +whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these +children sound useful members of the commonwealth would deserve so well +of the public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the +nation.</p> + +<p>But my intention is very far from being confined to pro<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span>vide only for +the children of professed beggars, it is of a much greater extent, and +shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born +of parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand +our charity in the streets.</p> + +<p>As to my own part, having turned my thoughts, for many years, upon this +important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other +projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their +computation. It is true a child, just dropped from its dam, may be +supported by her milk for a solar year with little other nourishment, at +most not above the value of two shillings, which the mother may +certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of +begging, and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for +them, in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their +parents, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of +their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding and +partly to the clothing of many thousands.</p> + +<p>There as likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will +prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women +murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, +sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense, +than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and +inhuman breast.</p> + +<p>The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million +and a half,<a name="FNanchor_130_130" id="FNanchor_130_130"></a><a href="#Footnote_130_130" class="fnanchor">[130]</a> of these I calculate there may be about two hundred +thousand couple whose wives are breeders, from which number I subtract +thirty thousand couples, who are able to maintain their own children, +although I apprehend there cannot be so many under the present +distresses of the kingdom, but this being granted, there will remain an +hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand +for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident, or +disease within the year. There only remain an hundred and twenty +thousand children of poor parents annually born: The question therefore +is, how this number shall be reared, and provided <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span>for, which, as I have +already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly +impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed, for we can neither +employ them in handicraft, or agriculture; we neither build houses, (I +mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a +livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old, except where +they are of towardly parts, although, I confess they learn the rudiments +much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked +upon only as <i>probationers</i>, as I have been informed by a principal +gentleman in the County of Cavan, who protested to me, that he never +knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of +the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art.</p> + +<p>I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years +old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they +will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at +most on the Exchange, which cannot turn to account either to the parents +or the kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least +four times that value.</p> + +<p>I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will +not be liable to the least objection.</p> + +<p>I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in +London,<a name="FNanchor_131_131" id="FNanchor_131_131"></a><a href="#Footnote_131_131" class="fnanchor">[131]</a> that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a +most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, +baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a +fricassee, or a ragout.</p> + +<p>I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration, that of the +hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand +may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males, +which is more than we allow to sheep, black-cattle, or swine, and my +reason is that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a +circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will +be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand +may at a year old be <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span>offered in sale to the persons of quality, and +fortune, through the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them +suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump, and fat +for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for +friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will +make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will +be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.</p> + +<p>I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh 12 +pounds, and in a solar year if tolerably nursed increaseth to 28 pounds.</p> + +<p>I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for +landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem +to have the best title to the children.</p> + +<p>Infants' flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful +in March, and a little before and after, for we are told by a grave +author an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, +there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine +months after Lent, than at any other season; therefore reckoning a year +after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the +number of Popish infants, is at least three to one in this kingdom, and +therefore it will have one other collateral advantage by lessening the +number of Papists among us.</p> + +<p>I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which +list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) +to be about two shillings <i>per annum</i>, rags included, and I believe no +gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good +fat child, which, as I have said will make four dishes of excellent +nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend, or his own +family to dine with him. Thus the Squire will learn to be a good +landlord, and grow popular among his tenants, the mother will have eight +shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another +child.</p> + +<p>Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may +flay the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make +admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span></p> + +<p>As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in +the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not +be wanting, although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and +dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.</p> + +<p>A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I +highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to +offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this +kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want +of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and +maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve, so great +a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve, for +want of work and service: and these to be disposed of by their parents +if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due +deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot +be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American +acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their flesh was +generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by continual +exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would not +answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think with humble +submission, be a loss to the public, because they soon would become +breeders themselves: And besides, it is not improbable that some +scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice, (although +indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I +confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any +project, however so well intended.</p> + +<p>But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was +put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar,<a name="FNanchor_132_132" id="FNanchor_132_132"></a><a href="#Footnote_132_132" class="fnanchor">[132]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> a native of the island Formosa, who came from thence to London, above +twenty years ago, and in conversation told my friend, that in his +country when any young person happened to be put to death, the +executioner sold the carcass to persons of quality, as a prime dainty, +and that, in his time, the body of a plump girl of fifteen, who was +crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was sold to his Imperial +Majesty's Prime Minister of State, and other great Mandarins of the +Court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed +can I deny, that if the same use were made of several plump young girls +in this town, who, without one single groat to their fortunes, cannot +stir abroad without a chair, and appear at the playhouse, and assemblies +in foreign fineries, which they never will pay for, the kingdom would +not be the worse.</p> + +<p>Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast +number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have +been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease the +nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain +upon that matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day +dying, and rotting, by cold, and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast +as can be reasonably expected. And as to the younger labourers they are +now in almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and +consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> that if at +any time they are accidentally hired to common labour, they have not +strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily +delivered from the evils to come.</p> + +<p>I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I +think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and +many, as well as of the highest importance.</p> + +<p>For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the +number of Papists, with whom we are yearly over-run, being the principal +breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who +stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the +Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good +Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country, than stay at +home, and pay tithes against their conscience, to an Episcopal +curate.<a name="FNanchor_133_133" id="FNanchor_133_133"></a><a href="#Footnote_133_133" class="fnanchor">[133]</a></p> + +<p>Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, +which by law may be made liable to distress, and help to pay their +landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and <i>money +a thing unknown</i>.</p> + +<p>Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from +two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten +shillings a piece <i>per annum</i>, the nation's stock will be thereby +increased fifty thousand pounds <i>per annum</i>, besides the profit of a new +dish, introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the +kingdom, who have any refinement in taste, and the money will circulate +among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and +manufacture.</p> + +<p>Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings +sterling <i>per annum</i>, by the sale of their children, will be rid of the +charge of maintaining them after the first year.</p> + +<p>Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where +the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best +receipts for dressing it to perfection, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span>consequently have their +houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves +upon their knowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands +how to oblige his guests will contrive to make it as expensive as they +please.</p> + +<p>Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise +nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and +penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward +their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life, to the +poor babes, provided in some sort by the public to their annual profit +instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married +women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market, men +would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, +as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when +they are ready to farrow, nor offer to beat or kick them (as it is too +frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage.</p> + +<p>Many other advantages might be enumerated: For instance, the addition of +some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrelled beef; the +propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good +bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too +frequent at our tables, which are no way comparable in taste, or +magnificence to a well-grown, fat yearling child, which roasted whole +will make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast, or any other +public entertainment. But this, and many others I omit being studious of +brevity.</p> + +<p>Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant +customers for infants' flesh, besides others who might have it at +merry-meetings, particularly weddings and christenings, I compute that +Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses, and the +rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) +the remaining eighty thousand.</p> + +<p>I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against +this proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will +be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was +indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the +reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy <i>for this one +individual<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span> Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, +I think, ever can be upon earth</i>. Therefore let no man talk to me of +other expedients: <i>Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of +using neither clothes, nor household furniture, except what is of our +own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and +instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of +pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein +of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our Country, +wherein we differ even from</i> <span class="smcap">Laplanders</span>, <i>and the inhabitants +of</i> <span class="smcap">Topinamboo</span>:<a name="FNanchor_134_134" id="FNanchor_134_134"></a><a href="#Footnote_134_134" class="fnanchor">[134]</a> <i>Of quitting our animosities and factions, +nor act any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the +very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell +our country and consciences for nothing:</i><a name="FNanchor_135_135" id="FNanchor_135_135"></a><a href="#Footnote_135_135" class="fnanchor">[135]</a> <i>Of teaching landlords to +have at least one degree of mercy toward their tenants. Lastly of +putting a spirit of honesty, industry and skill into our shopkeepers, +who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, +would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the +measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one +fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to +it</i>.<a name="FNanchor_136_136" id="FNanchor_136_136"></a><a href="#Footnote_136_136" class="fnanchor">[136]</a></p> + +<p>Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like +expedients, till he hath at least some glimpse of hope, that there will +ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice.</p> + +<p>But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering +vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of +success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which as it is wholly +new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expense and little +trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in +<i>dis<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span>obliging</i> <span class="smcap">England</span>. For this kind of commodity will not +bear exportation,<a name="FNanchor_137_137" id="FNanchor_137_137"></a><a href="#Footnote_137_137" class="fnanchor">[137]</a> the flesh being of too tender a consistence, to +admit a long continuance in salt, <i>although perhaps I could name a +country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it</i>.</p> + +<p>After all I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject +any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, +cheap, easy and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be +advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire +the author, or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. +First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and +raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, +there being a round million of creatures in human figure, throughout +this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would +leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling adding those, who are +beggars by profession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers +with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect. I desire those +politicians, who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to +attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these +mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness +to have been sold for food at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and +thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as they have +since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of +paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with +neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the +weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like, or +greater miseries upon their breed for ever.</p> + +<p>I profess in the sincerity of my heart that I have not the least +personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having +no other motive than the <i>public good of my country, by advancing our +trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some +pleasure to the rich</i>. I have no children, by which I can propose to get +a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past +child-bearing.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span></p> +<h3>ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN.</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>This "Answer" forms an excellent continuation of the "Modest +Proposal." It is in an entirely different vein, but is, in its own +way, an admirable example of Swift's strength in handling a public +question. The English government had been offering every facility +to French officers for recruiting their army from Ireland. The +"Craftsman" made some strong remarks on this, and Primate Boulter, +in his letter to the Duke of Newcastle, under date October 14th, +1730, told his Grace, "that after consulting with the Lords +Justices on the subject he found that they apprehend there will be +greater difficulties in this affair than at first offered." He +enters into the difficulties to be overcome in order to act in +consonance with the wishes of his Majesty, and promises that +"effectual care shall be taken that none of the officers who are +come hither, suffer on this account" (Letter, pp. 26-27, vol. ii., +Dublin, edit. 1770). Swift uses the matter for his own purposes and +ironically welcomes this chance for the depopulation of Ireland. +"When our island is a desert, we will send all our raw material to +England, and receive from her all our manufactured articles. A +leather coinage will be all we want, separated, as we shall then +be, from all human kind. We shall have lost all; but we may be left +in peace, and we shall have no more to tempt the plunderer." Scott +styles this "Answer" a masterpiece.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of this edition is based on that given by Faulkner in the +ninth volume of his edition of Swift issued in 1772.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN<a name="FNanchor_138_138" id="FNanchor_138_138"></a><a href="#Footnote_138_138" class="fnanchor">[138]</a></h3> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>I detest reading your papers, because I am not of your principles, and +because I cannot endure to be convinced. Yet I was prevailed on to +peruse your Craftsman of December the 12th, wherein I discover you to be +as great an enemy of this country, as you are of your own. You are +pleased to reflect on a project I proposed, of making the children of +Irish parents to be useful to the public instead of being +burdensome;<a name="FNanchor_139_139" id="FNanchor_139_139"></a><a href="#Footnote_139_139" class="fnanchor">[139]</a> and you venture to assert, that your own scheme is more +charitable, of not permitting our Popish natives to be listed in the +service of any foreign prince.</p> + +<p>Perhaps, sir, you may not have heard of any kingdom so unhappy as this, +both in their imports and exports. We import a sort of goods, of no +intrinsic value, which costeth us above forty thousand pounds a year to +dress, and scour, and polish them, which altogether do not yield one +penny advantage;<a name="FNanchor_140_140" id="FNanchor_140_140"></a><a href="#Footnote_140_140" class="fnanchor">[140]</a> and we annually export above seven hundred +thousand pounds a year in another kind of goods, for which we receive +not one single farthing in return; even the money paid for the letters +sent in transacting this commerce being <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span>all returned to England. But +now, when there is a most lucky opportunity offered to begin a trade, +whereby this nation will save many thousand pounds a year, and England +be a prodigious gainer, you are pleased, without a call, officiously and +maliciously to interpose with very frivolous arguments.</p> + +<p>It is well known, that about sixty years ago the exportation of live +cattle from hence to England was a great benefit to both kingdoms, until +that branch of traffic was stopped by an act of Parliament on your side, +whereof you have had sufficient reason to repent.<a name="FNanchor_141_141" id="FNanchor_141_141"></a><a href="#Footnote_141_141" class="fnanchor">[141]</a> Upon which +account, when another act passed your Parliament, forbidding the +exportation of live men to any foreign country, you were so wise to put +in a clause, allowing it to be done by his Majesty's permission, under +his sign manual,<a name="FNanchor_142_142" id="FNanchor_142_142"></a><a href="#Footnote_142_142" class="fnanchor">[142]</a> for which, among other great benefits granted to +Ireland, we are infinitely obliged to the British legislature. Yet this +very grace and favour you, Mr. D'Anvers, whom we never disobliged, are +endeavouring to prevent; which, I will take upon me to say, is a +manifest mark of your disaffection to his Majesty, a want of duty to the +ministry, and a wicked design of oppressing this kingdom, and a +traitorous attempt to lessen the trade and manufacture of England.</p> + +<p>Our truest and best ally, the Most Christian King,<a name="FNanchor_143_143" id="FNanchor_143_143"></a><a href="#Footnote_143_143" class="fnanchor">[143]</a> hath obtained +his Majesty's licence, pursuant to law, to export from hence some +thousand bodies of healthy, young, living men, to supply his Irish +regiments. The King of Spain, as you assert yourself, hath desired the +same civility, and seemeth to have at least as good a claim. Supposing +then that these two potentates will only desire leave to carry off <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span>six +thousand men between them to France and Spain; then, by computing the +maintenance of a tall, hungry Irishman, in food and clothes, to be only +at five pounds a head, here will be thirty thousand pounds per annum +saved clear to the nation; for they can find no other employment at +home, beside begging, robbing, or stealing. But, if thirty, forty, or +fifty thousand (which we could gladly spare) were sent on the same +errand, what an immense benefit must it be to us! And if the two +princes, in whose service they were, should happen to be at war with +each other, how soon would those recruits be destroyed! Then what a +number of friends would the Pretender lose, and what a number of Popish +enemies all true Protestants get rid of! Add to this, that then, by such +a practice, the lands of Ireland, that want hands for tillage, must be +employed in grazing, which would sink the price of wool, raw hides, +butter, and tallow, so that the English might have them at their own +rates, and in return send us wheat to make our bread, barley to brew our +drink, and oats for our houses, without any labour of our own.</p> + +<p>Upon this occasion, I desire humbly to offer a scheme, which, in my +opinion, would best answer the true interests of both kingdoms: For +although I bear a most tender filial affection to England, my dear +native country, yet I cannot deny but this noble island hath a great +share in my love and esteem; nor can I express how much I desire to see +it flourish in trade and opulence, even beyond its present happy +condition.</p> + +<p>The profitable land of this kingdom is, I think, usually computed at +seventeen millions of acres, all which I propose to be wholly turned to +grazing. Now, it is found by experience, that one grazier and his family +can manage two thousand acres. Thus sixteen millions eight hundred +thousand acres may be managed by eight thousand four hundred families; +and the fraction of two hundred thousand acres will be more than +sufficient for cabins, out-houses, and potatoe-gardens; because it is to +be understood that corn of all sorts must be sent to us from England.</p> + +<p>These eight thousand four hundred families may be divided among the four +provinces, according to the number of houses in each province; and +making the equal allowance of eight to a family, the number of +inhabitants will amount<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> to sixty-seven thousand two hundred souls. To +these we are to add a standing army of twenty thousand English; which, +together with their trulls, their bastards, and their horse-boys, will, +by a gross computation, very near double the count, and be very +sufficient for the defence and grazing of the kingdom, as well as to +enrich our neighbours, expel popery, and keep out the Pretender. And, +lest the army should be at a loss for business, I think it would be very +prudent to employ them in collecting the public taxes for paying +themselves and the civil list.</p> + +<p>I advise, that all the owners of these lands should live constantly in +England, in order to learn politeness, and qualify themselves for +employments; but, for fear of increasing the natives in this island, +that an annual draught, according to the number born every year, be +exported to whatever prince will bear the carriage, or transplanted to +the English dominions on the American continent, as a screen between his +Majesty's English subjects and the savage Indians.</p> + +<p>I advise likewise, that no commodity whatsoever, of this nation's +growth, should be sent to any other country except England, under the +penalty of high treason; and that all the said commodities shall be sent +in their natural state; the hides raw, the wool uncombed, the flax in +the stub; excepting only fish, butter, tallow, and whatever else will be +spoiled in the carriage. On the contrary, that no goods whatsoever shall +be exported hither, except from England, under the same penalty: that +England should be forced, at their own rates, to send us over clothes +ready made, as well as shirts and smocks to the soldiers and their +trulls; all iron, wooden, and earthen ware, and whatever furniture may +be necessary for the cabins of graziers; with a sufficient quantity of +gin, and other spirits, for those who, can afford to be drunk on +holidays.</p> + +<p>As to the civil and ecclesiastical administration, which I have not yet +fully considered, I can say little; only, with regard to the latter, it +is plain, that the article of paying tithe for supporting speculative +opinions in religion, which is so insupportable a burden to all true +Protestants, and to most churchmen, will be very much lessened by this +expedient; because dry cattle pay nothing to the spiritual hireling, +any<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> more than imported corn; so that the industrious shepherd and +cowherd may sit every man under his own blackberry-bush, and on his own +potato-bed, whereby this happy island will become a new Arcadia.</p> + +<p>I do likewise propose, that no money shall be used in Ireland except +what is made of leather, which likewise shall be coined in England, and +imported; and that the taxes shall be levied out of the commodities we +export to England, and there turned into money for his Majesty's use; +and the rents to landlords discharged in the same manner. This will be +no manner of grievance, for we already see it very practicable to live +without money, and shall be more convinced of it every day. But whether +paper shall still continue to supply that defect, or whether we shall +hang up all those who profess the trade of bankers, (which latter I am +rather inclined to,) must be left to the consideration of wiser +politicians.</p> + +<p>That which maketh me more zealously bent upon this scheme, is my desire +of living in amity with our neighbouring brethren; for we have already +tried all other means without effect, to that blessed end: and, by the +course of measures taken for some years past, it should seem that we are +all agreed in the point.</p> + +<p>This expedient will be of great advantage to both kingdoms, upon several +accounts: for, as to England, they have a just claim to the balance of +trade on their side with the whole world: and therefore our ancestors +and we, who conquered this kingdom for them, ought, in duty and +gratitude, to let them have the whole benefit of that conquest to +themselves; especially when the conquest was amicably made without +bloodshed, by a stipulation between the Irish princes and Henry II.; by +which they paid him, indeed, not equal homage with what the electors of +Germany do to the emperor, but very near the same that he did to the +King of France for his French dominions.</p> + +<p>In consequence of this claim from England, that kingdom may very +reasonably demand the benefit of all our commodities in their natural +growth, to be manufactured by their people, and a sufficient quantity of +them for our use to be returned hither fully manufactured.</p> + +<p>This, on the other side, will be of great benefit to our in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span>habitants +the graziers; when time and labour will be too much taken up in manuring +their ground, feeding their cattle, shearing their sheep, and sending +over their oxen fit for slaughter; to which employments they are turned +by nature, as descended from the Scythians, whose diet they are still so +fond of. So Virgil describeth it:—</p> + +<p class='center'> +Et lac concretum cum sanguine bibit equino; +</p> + +<p>Which, in English, is bonnyclabber<a name="FNanchor_144_144" id="FNanchor_144_144"></a><a href="#Footnote_144_144" class="fnanchor">[144]</a> mingled with the blood of +horses, as they formerly did, until about the beginning of the last +century luxury, under the form of politeness, began to creep in, they +changed the blood of horses for that of their black cattle, and, by +consequence, became less warlike than their ancestors.</p> + +<p>Although I proposed that the army should be collectors of the public +revenues, yet I did not thereby intend that those taxes should be paid +in gold or silver; but in kind, as all other rent: For, the custom of +tenants making their payments in money, is a new thing in the world, +little known in former ages, nor generally practised in any nation at +present, except this island and the southern parts of Britain. But, to +my great satisfaction, I foresee better times; the ancient manner +beginneth to be now practised in many parts of Connaught, as well as in +the county of Cork; where the squires turn tenants to themselves, divide +so many cattle to their slaves, who are to provide such a quantity of +butter, hides, or tallow, still keeping up their number of cattle; and +carry the goods to Cork, or other port towns, and then sell them to the +merchants. By which invention there is no such thing as a ruined farmer +to be seen; but the people live with comfort on potatoes and +bonnyclabber, neither of which are vendible commodities abroad.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A</h4> + +<h3>VINDICATION</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h3>HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">John Carteret, Earl Granville</span>, succeeded to the Carteret +barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George, +the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at +Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter +place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and +philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House +of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant +succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the +Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden +he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in +1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover. +Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir +Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray.</p> + +<p>In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern +province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he +intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a +party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the +King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for +George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton, +Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole, +however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to +Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the +office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this +time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government. +Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though, +in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of +Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's +halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the +present edition.</p> + +<p>During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been +one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George +was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George, +however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of +George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was +re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was +during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct +Swift vindicates in the following tract.</p> + +<p>The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper +of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often +consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not +appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion +to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation +against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott, +"visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing +the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber +of audience these lines:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task,</span><br /> +<span class="i0">For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.'</span> +</div></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span> +Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply:</p> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">'My very good Dean, there are few who come here,</span> +<span class="i0">But have something to ask, or something to fear.'"</span> +</div></div> + + +<p>To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the +peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused +by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written +many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me +how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift +confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret +"had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than +most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his +well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name, +do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our +boobies again."</p> + +<p>Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the +changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could +come only from the government in England, and as this was +implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was +therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he +could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement, +and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their +behalf.</p> + +<p>Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his +chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs +in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of +their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure +him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals +who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his +usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows.</p> + +<p>Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in +1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole, +which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House +of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his +presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was +compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no +relation to Irish affairs.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is founded on that of the original London edition +printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date. +They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>A</h4> + +<h2>VINDICATION</h2> + +<h4>OF HIS</h4> + +<h3>EXCELLENCY</h3> + +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h2>Lord <i>C——T</i>,</h2> + +<h4>FROM THE</h4> + +<h3>CHARGE</h3> + +<p class='center'>Of favouring none but</p> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Tories, High-Churchmen</span> and<br /> +<span class="smcap">Jacobites</span>.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'>By the Reverend Dr, <i>S——T</i>.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'>LONDON:<br /> +Printed for <span class="smcap">T. Warner</span> at the <i>Black-Boy</i> in <i>Pater-Noster-Row</i>.<br /> +MDCCXXX.<br /> +(Price 6<i>d.</i>)<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY<br />JOHN, LORD CARTERET.</h3> + + +<p>In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and +impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his +Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars, +which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation +he lies under.</p> + +<p>He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the +Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for +what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former +Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean +that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with +Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th +day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt +of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our +posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which +day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now +alive.</p> + +<p>His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of +Oxford,<a name="FNanchor_145_145" id="FNanchor_145_145"></a><a href="#Footnote_145_145" class="fnanchor">[145]</a> from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he +carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a +person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are +forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to +load their heads with.</p> + +<p>This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world, +and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span>as he came to town, +some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning +and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately +dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain, +nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and +dispositions.</p> + +<p>To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him +with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence, +and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his +youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best +fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education; +having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow +him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period +when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his +money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and +epidemic among persons of honour.</p> + +<p>I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and +can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every +day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is +reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately +conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been +taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a +session, to the great neglect of public affairs.<a name="FNanchor_146_146" id="FNanchor_146_146"></a><a href="#Footnote_146_146" class="fnanchor">[146]</a></p> + +<p>I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from +good hands, that when his Excellency is at <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span>dinner with one or two +scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and +unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table.</p> + +<p>I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage. +For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most +comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and +vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life, +discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well +as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit +an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect +whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the +imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears +of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I +presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made +any mention of them.</p> + +<p>These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think +it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to +be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education.</p> + +<p>I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion +of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with +honour Pistorides.<a name="FNanchor_147_147" id="FNanchor_147_147"></a><a href="#Footnote_147_147" class="fnanchor">[147]</a>) For these have decided the matter directly +against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under +the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at +a great man's levee in the worst of times,<a name="FNanchor_148_148" id="FNanchor_148_148"></a><a href="#Footnote_148_148" class="fnanchor">[148]</a> should be allowed to +come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the +antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night. +However, I dare <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span>assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and +that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been +received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to +the nation.</p> + +<p>Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater +importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed.</p> + +<p>To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto +been taken to discover whether Madam Violante<a name="FNanchor_149_149" id="FNanchor_149_149"></a><a href="#Footnote_149_149" class="fnanchor">[149]</a> be a Whig or Tory in +her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the +Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself +to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she +may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and +dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties, +who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least +apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson +himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.<a name="FNanchor_150_150" id="FNanchor_150_150"></a><a href="#Footnote_150_150" class="fnanchor">[150]</a> And as +Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power, +it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power +ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any +legal security for her good affection to the government.</p> + +<p>I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think +proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the +old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the +same loyalty <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span>with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King +George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of +Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but +having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure +to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and +melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of +trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with +other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and +Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers. +Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture +to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our +usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under +the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the +like.</p> + +<p>This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning +mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties, +with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of +aversion on the other.</p> + +<p>How hath he been pelted, pestered, and pounded by one single wag, who +promiseth never to forsake him living or dead!<a name="FNanchor_151_151" id="FNanchor_151_151"></a><a href="#Footnote_151_151" class="fnanchor">[151]</a></p> + +<p>I was much pleased with the humour of a surgeon in this town, who having +in his own apprehension, received some great injustice from the Earl of +Galway,<a name="FNanchor_152_152" id="FNanchor_152_152"></a><a href="#Footnote_152_152" class="fnanchor">[152]</a> and despairing of revenge, as well as relief, declared to +all his friends that he had set apart a hundred guineas to purchase the +Earl's carcase from the sexton, whenever it should die; to make a +skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and shew them for threepence; and +thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by the owner.</p> + +<p>Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against +whom there is no defence but innocence, and philo<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span>sophy: Neither of +which is likely to be at hand; and therefore the wounded have nowhere to +fly for a cure, but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a +profligate contempt of guilt and shame.</p> + +<p>I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus,<a name="FNanchor_153_153" id="FNanchor_153_153"></a><a href="#Footnote_153_153" class="fnanchor">[153]</a> who +although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo +even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing +without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons, +according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not +blame an <i>honest</i> gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to +whom he professeth the greatest friendship; provided he acts in the +dark, so as not to be discovered. But in the midst of caresses, visits, +and invitations, to run into the streets, or to as public a place, and +without the least pretended excitement, sputter out the basest and +falsest accusations; then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his +friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper, it was "all +for his service;" this proceeding, I am bold to think a great failure in +prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner, with a body so open, +so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an +incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon +great provocation: who without waiting for his death, will flay, and +dissect him alive, and to the view of mankind lay open all the +disordered cells of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corruption +of his heart, and spots and flatuses of his spleen—And all this for +threepence.<a name="FNanchor_154_154" id="FNanchor_154_154"></a><a href="#Footnote_154_154" class="fnanchor">[154]</a></p> + +<p>In such a case what a scene would be laid open! and to drop my metaphor +what a character of our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw and +expose! particularizing that unnatural conjunction of vices and follies, +so inconsistent with each other in the same breast: Furious and fawning, +scurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking, insolent and abject; +most profligately false, with the strongest professions of sincerity, +positive and variable, tyrannical and slavish.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span></p><p>I apprehend that if all this should be set out to the world by an angry +Whig of the old stamp, the unavoidable consequence must be a confinement +of our friend for some months more to his garret, and thereby depriving +the public for so long a time, and in so important a juncture, of his +useful talents in their service, while he is fed like a wild beast +through a hole; but I hope with a special regard to the quantity and +quality of his nourishment.</p> + +<p>In vain would his excusers endeavour to palliate his enormities, by +imputing them to madness:<a name="FNanchor_155_155" id="FNanchor_155_155"></a><a href="#Footnote_155_155" class="fnanchor">[155]</a> Because, it is well known, that madness +only operates by inflaming and enlarging the good or evil dispositions +of the mind: For the curators of Bedlam assure us, that some lunatics +are persons of honour, truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which +appear in their highest ravings, although after a wild incoherent +manner; while others on the contrary, discover in every word and action +the utmost baseness and depravity of human minds; which infallibly they +possessed in the same degree, although perhaps under a better +regulation, before their entrance into that academy.</p> + +<p>But it may be objected, that there is an argument of much force to +excuse the overflowings of that zeal, which our friend shews or means +for our cause. And it must be confessed, that the easy and smooth +fluency of his elocution bestowed on him by nature, and cultivated by +continual practice, added to the comeliness of his person, the harmony +of his voice, the gracefulness of his manner, and the decency of his +dress, are temptations too strong for such a genius to resist upon any +public occasion of making them appear with universal applause: And if +good men are sometimes accused of loving their jest better than their +friend, surely to gain the reputation of the first orator in the +kingdom, no man of spirit would scruple to lose all the friends he had +in the world.</p> + +<p>It is usual for masters to make their boys declaim on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span> +both sides of an argument; and as some kinds of assemblies are called +the schools of politics, I confess nothing can better improve political +school-boys, than the art of making plausible or implausible harangues, +against the very opinion for which they resolve to determine.</p> + +<p>So Cardinal Perron after having spoke for an hour to the admiration of +all his hearers, to prove the existence of God; told some of his +intimates that he could have spoken another hour, and much better, to +prove the contrary.</p> + +<p>I have placed this reasoning in the strongest light, that I think it +will bear; and have nothing to answer, but that allowing it as much +weight as the reader shall please, it hath constantly met with ill +success in the mouth of our friend, whether for want of good luck, or +good management I suspend my judgment.</p> + +<p>To return from this long digression. If persons in high stations have +been allowed to choose mistresses, without regard even to difference in +religion, yet never incurred the least reflection on their loyalty or +their Protestantism; shall the chief governor of a great kingdom be +censured for choosing a companion, who may formerly have been suspected +for differing from the orthodox in some speculative opinions of persons +and things, which cannot affect the fundamental principles of a sound +Whig?</p> + +<p>But let me suppose a very possible case. Here is a person sent to govern +Ireland, whose unfortunate weak side it happens to be, for several +reasons abovementioned, that he hath encouraged the attendance of one or +two gentlemen distinguished for their taste, their wit, and their +learning; who have taken the oaths to his Majesty, and pray heartily for +him: Yet because they may perhaps be stigmatized as <i>quondam</i> Tories by +Pistorides and his gang; his Excellency must be forced to banish them +under the pain and peril of displeasing the zealots of his own party; +and thereby be put into a worse condition than every common good-fellow; +who may be a sincere Protestant, and a loyal subject, and yet rather +choose to drink fine ale at the Pope's head, than muddy at the King's.</p> + +<p>Let me then return to my supposition. It is certain, the high-flown +loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and +studies, and tongues so entirely diverted<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> by political schemes, that +the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither +have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly +labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with +philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all +schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill +stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of +literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of +Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and +professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to +governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same +time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to +all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency, +and perhaps to five or six more in a nation.</p> + +<p>I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the +times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former +ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for +is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house +clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession, +till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first.</p> + +<p>I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so +obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse +is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have +produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly +informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session +quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some +book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great +stations are by.</p> + +<p>I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this +mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning +and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because +the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons +directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world: +And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of +the Greeks and Romans made young men<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span> imbibe opinions against absolute +power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions +of liberty and property.</p> + +<p>It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the +heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a +tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and +indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could +never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a +receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (<i>rightly spelt</i>) to +a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying; +whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world +with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.<a name="FNanchor_156_156" id="FNanchor_156_156"></a><a href="#Footnote_156_156" class="fnanchor">[156]</a></p> + +<p>I could heartily wish his Excellency would be more condescending to the +genius of the kingdom he governs, to the condition of the times, and to +the nature of the station he fills. Yet if it be true, what I have read +in old English story-books, that one Agesilaus (no matter to the bulk of +my readers, whether I spell the names right or wrong) was caught by the +parson of the parish, riding on a hobby-horse with his children; that +Socrates a heathen philosopher, was found dancing by himself at +fourscore; that a king called Cæsar Augustus (or some such name) used to +play with boys; whereof some might possibly be sons of Tories; and, that +two great men called Scipio and Lælius, (I forget their Christian names, +and whether they were poets or generals,) often played at duck and drake +with smooth stones on a river. Now I say, if these facts be true (and +the book where I found them is in print) I cannot imagine why our most +zealous patriots may not a little indulge his Excellency, in an +infirmity which is not morally evil, provided he gives no public scandal +(which is by all means to be avoided) I say, why he may not be indulged +twice a week to converse with one or two particular persons, and let him +and them con over their old exploded readings together, after mornings +spent in hearing and prescribing ways and means from and to his most +obedient politicians, for the welfare of the king<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span>dom; although the said +particular person or persons may not have made so public a declaration +of their political faith in all its parts, as the business of the nation +requires. Still submitting my opinion to that happy majority, which I am +confident is always in the right; by whom the liberty of the subject +hath been so frequently, so strenuously, and so successfully asserted; +who by their wise counsels have made commerce to flourish, money to +abound, inhabitants to increase, the value of lands and rents to rise; +and the whole island put on a new face of plenty and prosperity.</p> + +<p>But in order to clear his Excellency, more fully from this accusation of +shewing his favours to high-flyers, Tories, and Jacobites; it will be +necessary to come to particulars.</p> + +<p>The first person of a Tory denomination to whom his Excellency gave any +marks of his favour, was Doctor Thomas Sheridan.<a name="FNanchor_157_157" id="FNanchor_157_157"></a><a href="#Footnote_157_157" class="fnanchor">[157]</a> It is to be +observed, that this happened so early in his Excellency's government, as +it may be justly supposed he had not been informed of that gentleman's +character upon so dangerous an article. The Doctor being well known and +distinguished, for his skill and success in the education of youth, +beyond most of his profession for many years past, was recommended to +his Excellency on the score of his learning, and particularly for his +knowledge in the Greek tongue, whereof it seems his Excellency is a +great admirer, although for what reasons I could never imagine. However +it is agreed on all hands, that his lordship was too easily prevailed on +by the Doctor's request, or indeed rather from the bias of his own +nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unknown language by the Doctor's +lads,<a name="FNanchor_158_158" id="FNanchor_158_158"></a><a href="#Footnote_158_158" class="fnanchor">[158]</a> which was written by some heathen author, but whether it +contained any Tory or High-Church principles, must be left to the +consciences of the boys, the Doctor, and his Excellency: The only +witnesses in this case, whose testimonies can be depended upon.</p> + +<p>It seems, his Excellency (a thing never to be sufficiently wondered at) +was so pleased with his entertainment, that some time after he gave the +Doctor a church living to the value of almost one hundred pounds a year, +and made him one of his chaplains, from an antiquated notion, that good +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span>schoolmasters ought to be encouraged in every nation, professing +civility and religion. Yet his Excellency did not venture to make this +bold step without strong recommendations from persons of undoubted +principles, fitted to the times; who thought themselves bound in +justice, honour, and gratitude, to do the Doctor a good office in return +for the care he had taken of their children, or those of their +friends.<a name="FNanchor_159_159" id="FNanchor_159_159"></a><a href="#Footnote_159_159" class="fnanchor">[159]</a> Yet the catastrophe was terrible: For, the Doctor in the +height of his felicity and gratitude, going down to take possession of +his parish, and furnished with a few led-sermons, whereof as it is to be +supposed the number was very small, having never served a cure in the +Church; he stopped at Cork to attend on his bishop; and going to church +on the Sunday following, was according to the usual civility of country +clergymen, invited by the minister of the parish to supply the pulpit. +It happened to be the first of August<a name="FNanchor_160_160" id="FNanchor_160_160"></a><a href="#Footnote_160_160" class="fnanchor">[160]</a>; and the first of August +happened that year to light upon a Sunday: And it happened that the +Doctor's text was in these words; "Sufficient unto the day is the evil +thereof;" and lastly it happened, that some one person of the +congregation, whose loyalty made him watchful upon every appearance of +danger to his Majesty's person and Government, when service was over, +gave the alarm. Notice was immediately sent up to town, and by the zeal +of one man<a name="FNanchor_161_161" id="FNanchor_161_161"></a><a href="#Footnote_161_161" class="fnanchor">[161]</a> of no large dimensions of body or mind, such a clamour +was raised, that we in Dublin could apprehend no less than an invasion +by the Pretender, who must be landed in the South. The result was, that +the Doctor must be struck out of the chaplains' list, and appear no more +at the Castle; yet, whether he were then, or be at this day, a Whig or a +Tory, I think is a secret; only it is manifest, that he is a zealous +Hanoverian, at least in poetry,<a name="FNanchor_162_162" id="FNanchor_162_162"></a><a href="#Footnote_162_162" class="fnanchor">[162]</a> and a great adorer of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span>present +Royal Family through all its branches. His friends likewise assert, that +he had preached this same sermon often, under the same text; that not +having observed the words till he was in the pulpit, and had opened his +notes; as he is a person a little abstracted, he wanted presence of mind +to change them: And that in the whole sermon there was not a syllable +relating to Government or party, or to the subject of the day.</p> + +<p>In this incident there seems to have been an union of events, that will +probably never happen again to the end of the world, or at least like +the grand conjunction in the heavens, which I think they say can arrive +but once in twenty thousand years.</p> + +<p>The second gentleman (if I am right in my chronology) who under the +suspicion of a Tory, received some favour from his Excellency, is Mr. +James Stopford<a name="FNanchor_163_163" id="FNanchor_163_163"></a><a href="#Footnote_163_163" class="fnanchor">[163]</a>; very strongly recommended by the most eminent Whig +in England, on the account of his learning, and virtue, and other +accomplishments. He had passed the greatest part of his youth in close +study, or in travelling; and was neither not at home, or not at leisure +to trouble his thoughts about party; which I allow to be a great +omission; though I cannot honestly place him in the list of Tories, and +therefore think his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span>Excellency may be fairly acquitted for making him +Vicar of Finglass, worth about one hundred and fifty pounds a year.</p> + +<p>The third is Doctor Patrick Delany.<a name="FNanchor_164_164" id="FNanchor_164_164"></a><a href="#Footnote_164_164" class="fnanchor">[164]</a> This divine lies under some +disadvantage; having in his youth received many civilities from a +certain person then in a very high station here,<a name="FNanchor_165_165" id="FNanchor_165_165"></a><a href="#Footnote_165_165" class="fnanchor">[165]</a> for which reason I +doubt the Doctor never drank his confusion since: And what makes the +matter desperate, it is now too late; unless our inquisitors will be +content with drinking confusion to his memory. The aforesaid eminent +person who was a judge of all merit but party, distinguished the Doctor +among other juniors in our University, for his learning, virtue, +discretion, and good sense. But the Doctor was then in too good a +situation at his college, to hope or endeavour at a better +establishment, from one who had no power to give it him.</p> + +<p>Upon the present Lord-lieutenant's coming over, the Doctor was named to +his Excellency by a friend,<a name="FNanchor_166_166" id="FNanchor_166_166"></a><a href="#Footnote_166_166" class="fnanchor">[166]</a> among other clergy of distinction, as +persons whose characters it was proper his Excellency should know: And +by the truth of which the giver would be content to stand or fall in his +Excellency's opinion; since not one of those persons were in particular +friendship with the gentleman who gave in their names. By this and some +other incidents, particularly the recommendation of the late Archbishop +of Dublin,<a name="FNanchor_167_167" id="FNanchor_167_167"></a><a href="#Footnote_167_167" class="fnanchor">[167]</a> the Doctor became known to his Excellency; whose fatal +turn of mind toward heathenish and outlandish books and languages, +finding, as I conceive a like disposition in the Doctor, was the cause +of his becoming so domestic, as we are told he is, at the Castle of +Dublin.</p> + +<p>Three or four years ago, the Doctor grown weary of an +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span>academic life, for some reasons best known to the managers of the +discipline in that learned society (which it may not be for their honour +to mention<a name="FNanchor_168_168" id="FNanchor_168_168"></a><a href="#Footnote_168_168" class="fnanchor">[168]</a>) resolved to leave it, although by the benefit of the +pupils, and his senior-fellowship with all its perquisites, he received +every year between nine hundred and a thousand pounds.</p> + +<p>And a small northern living, in the University's donation, of somewhat +better than hundred pounds a year, falling at the same time with the +Chancellorship of Christ-Church, to about equal the value, in the gift +of his Excellency, the Doctor ventured into the world in a very scanty +condition, having squandered away all his annual income in a manner, +which although perhaps proper enough for a clergyman without a family, +will not be for the advantage of his character to discover either on the +exchange, or at a banker's shop.</p> + +<p>About two months ago, his Excellency gave the Doctor a prebend in St. +Patrick's Cathedral; which being of near the same value with either of +the two former, will add a third part to his revenues, after he shall +have paid the great incumbrances upon it; so that he may now be said to +possess of Church preferments in scattered tithes, three hundred pounds +a year, instead of the like sum of infallible rents from a senior +fellowship with the offices annexed; beside the advantage of a free +lodging, and some other easements.</p> + +<p>But since the Doctor hath not in any of his writings, his sermons, his +actions, his discourse, or his company, discovered one single principle +of either Whig or Tory; and that the Lord Lieutenant still continues to +admit him; I shall boldly pronounce him <i>ONE OF US</i>: but like a new +free-mason, who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the mystery. +Neither can he justly be accused of any Tory doctrines, except perhaps +some among those few, with which that wicked party was charged, during +the height of their power; but have been since transferred for the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span>most +solid reasons, to the whole body of our firmest friends.</p> + +<p>I have now done with the clergy; And upon the strictest examination have +not been able to find above one of that order, against whom any party +suspicion can lie, which is the unfortunate gentleman, Doctor Sheridan, +who by mere chance-medley shot his own fortune dead with a single text.</p> + +<p>As to the laity I can hear of but one person of the Tory stamp, who +since the beginning of his Excellency's government, did ever receive any +solid mark of his favour; I mean Sir Arthur Acheson,<a name="FNanchor_169_169" id="FNanchor_169_169"></a><a href="#Footnote_169_169" class="fnanchor">[169]</a> reported to be +an acknowledged Tory, and what is almost as bad, a scholar into the +bargain. It is whispered about as a certain truth, that this gentleman +is to have a grant of a certain barrack upon his estate, within two +miles of his own house; for which the Crown is to be his tenant, at the +rent of sixty pounds <i>per annum</i>; he being only at the expense of about +five hundred pounds, to put the house in repair, build stables, and +other necessaries. I will place this invidious mark of beneficence, +conferred on a Tory, in a fair light, by computing the costs and +necessary defalcations; after which it may be seen how much Sir Arthur +will be annually a clear gainer by the public, notwithstanding his +unfortunate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and Latin.</p> + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="3" width="80%" cellspacing="0" summary="SIR ARTHUR WILL BE A CLEAR GAINER"> +<tr><td align='left'>For repairs, &c. 500<i>l.</i> the interest</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">whereof <i>per ann.</i></span></td><td align='right'>30</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For all manner of poultry to furnish the troopers,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">but which the said troopers must be at the</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">labour of catching, valued <i>per ann.</i></span></td><td align='right'>5</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For straggling sheep,</td><td align='right'>8</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>For game destroyed five miles round,</td><td align='right'>6</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td><td colspan="3" align='right'>————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'>49</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +</table> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span></p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" width="60%" cellspacing="0" summary="MORE GAINS FOR SIR ARTHUR"> +<tr><td align='left'>Rent paid to Sir Arthur,</td><td align='right'>60</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Deduct</span></td><td align='right'>49</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td colspan="4" align='right'>——————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Remains clear,</span></td><td align='right'>11</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +</table> + + +<p>Thus, if Sir Arthur Acheson shall have the good fortune to obtain a +grant of this barrack, he will receive net profit annually from the +Crown ELEVEN pounds sterling to help him in entertaining the officers, +and making provisions for his younger children.</p> + +<p>It is true, there is another advantage to be expected, which may fully +compensate the loss of cattle and poultry; by multiplying the breed of +mankind, and particularly of good Protestants, in a part of the Kingdom +half depopulated by the wild humour among the farmers there, of leaving +their country. But I am not so skilful in arithmetic, as to compute the +value.</p> + +<p>I have reckoned one <i>per cent.</i> below the legal interest for the money +that Sir Arthur must expend, and valued the damage in the other articles +very moderately. However, I am confident he may with good management be +a saver at least; which is a prodigious instance of moderation in our +friends toward a professed Tory, whatever merit he may pretend by the +unwillingness he hath shewn to make his Excellency uneasy in his +administration.</p> + +<p>Thus I have with the utmost impartiality collected every single favour, +(further than personal civilities) conferred by his Excellency on +Tories, and reputed Tories, since his first arrival hither to this +present 13th day of April, in the year of our Lord 1730, giving all +allowance possible to the arguments on the other side of the question.<br /><br /></p> + + +<p class='center'> +And the account will stand thus.<br /><br /> +</p> + +<p>Disposed of preferments and employments to Tories, or reputed Tories, by +his Excellency the Lord Lieutenant in about the space of six years.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span></p> + + + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" cellspacing="0" summary="DISPOSED OF PREFERMENTS AND EMPLOYMENTS TO TORIES"> +<tr><td align='left'>To Doctor Thomas Sheridan in a rectory near</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Kinsale, <i>per ann.</i></span></td><td align='right'>100</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To Sir Arthur Acheson, Baronet, a barrack,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>per ann.</i></span></td><td align='right'>11</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right' colspan="3">—————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'>111</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right' colspan="3">—————</td></tr> +</table> + +<p>Give me leave now to compute in gross the value of the favours done by +his Excellency to the true friends of their King and Country, and of the +Protestant religion.</p> + +<p>It is to be remembered, that although his Excellency cannot be properly +said to bestow bishoprics, commands in the army, the place of a judge, +or commissioner in the revenue, and some others; yet they are, for the +most part, disposed upon his recommendation, except where the persons +are immediately sent from England by their interest at Court, for which +I have allowed large defalcations in the following accounts. And it is +remarkable that the only considerable station conferred on a reputed +Tory since his present Excellency's government was of this latter kind.</p> + +<p>And indeed it is but too remarkable, that in a neighbouring nation, +(where that dangerous denomination of men is incomparably more numerous, +more powerful, and of consequence more formidable) real Tories can often +with much less difficulty obtain very high favours from the Government, +than their reputed brethren can arrive to the lowest in ours. I observe +this with all possible submission to the wisdom of their policy, which, +however, will not I believe, dispute the praise of vigilance with ours.</p> + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="3" width="80%" cellspacing="0" summary="WHIG ACCOUNT"> +<tr><th colspan="4">WHIG account.</th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To persons promoted to bishoprics, or removed</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">to more beneficial ones, computed</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>per ann.</i></span></td><td align='right'>10050</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To civil employments,</td><td align='right'>9030</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To military commands,</td><td align='right'>8436</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right' colspan="3">—————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'>27516</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="4"> </td></tr> +<tr><th colspan="4">TORY account</th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To Tories</td><td align='right'>111</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right' colspan="3">—————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Balance</td><td align='right'>27405</td><td align='right'>0</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right' colspan="3">—————</td></tr> +</table> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span></p> + +<p>I shall conclude with this observation. That, as I think, the Tories +have sufficient reason to be fully satisfied with the share of trust, +and power, and employments which they possess under the lenity of the +present Government; so, I do not find how his Excellency can be justly +censured for favouring none but High-Church, high-fliers, termagants, +Laudists, Sacheverellians, tip-top-gallant-men, Jacobites, tantivies, +anti-Hanoverians, friends to Popery and the Pretender, and to arbitrary +power, disobligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY, inflamers of +quarrels between the two nations, public incendiaries, enemies to the +King and Kingdoms, haters of TRUE Protestants, laurelmen, Annists, +complainers of the Nation's poverty, Ormondians, iconoclasts, +anti-Glorious-memorists, white-rosalists, tenth-a-Junians, and the like: +when by a fair state of the account, the balance, I conceive, plainly +lies on the other side.<a name="FNanchor_170_170" id="FNanchor_170_170"></a><a href="#Footnote_170_170" class="fnanchor">[170]</a></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL</h3> + +<p class='center'><b>FOR</b></p> + +<h4>AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,<br /> +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.</h4> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">By which the Number of Landed Gentry and Substantial Farmers will be +considerably increased, and no one Person will be the poorer, or +contribute one farthing to the Charge.</span></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>In volume three of the present edition two tracts are given +relating to attempts made by the bishops of Ireland for enlarging +their powers. These tracts are entitled: "On the Bill for the +Clergy's residing on their Livings," and "Considerations upon two +Bills, sent down from the House of Lords and the House of Commons +in Ireland relating to the Clergy of Ireland" (pp. 249-272). The +bills which Swift argued against were evidently intended to give +the bishops further powers and increased opportunities for making +money. (The matter is gone into at length in the notes prefixed to +the above reprints.) The bishops sought rights which would enable +them to obtain large powers in letting leases, and their eagerness +to get such powers, coupled with the efforts they expended, showed +that they had less regard for the Church's interest than for their +own.</p> + +<p>In the present tract Swift, with his usual assumption of grave +consideration of an important question, but in reality with cutting +irony, proposes to dispose of all the Church lands for a lump sum, +give the bishops their full just share, including the amount of +fines for possible renewals of leases, and, at the same time, pay +off the national debt with the money that remains. With an air of +strict seriousness he solemnly computes the exact sums obtainable, +and impartially divides the amounts with accurate care. Then, with +a dig at the strangers England was continually sending to Irish +preferments, among whom he counts himself, he concludes by saying +that although the interests of such cannot be expected to be those +of the country to which they have been translated, yet he, as one +of them, is quite willing, and indeed feels himself in duty bound +"to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well +received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing +to reduce this excellent proposal into a law ... my sincere +endeavours to serve this Church and kingdom will be rewarded."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of this pamphlet is based on that given at the end of the +volume containing the first edition of "Considerations upon two +Bills," etc., published in 1732.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT,<br />TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,<br /> +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.</h3> + + +<p>The debts contracted some years past for the service and safety of the +nation, are grown so great, that under our present distressed condition +by the want of trade, the great remittances to pay absentees, regiments +serving abroad, and many other drains of money, well enough known and +felt; the kingdom seems altogether unable to discharge them by the +common methods of payment: And either a poll or land tax would be too +odious to think of, especially the latter, because the lands, which have +been let for these ten or dozen years past, were raised so high, that +the owners can, at present, hardly receive any rent at all. For, it is +the usual practice of an Irish tenant, rather than want land, to offer +more for a farm than he knows he can be ever able to pay, and in that +case he grows desperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-tax +upon a racked estate would be a burthen wholly insupportable.</p> + +<p>The question will then be, how these national debts can be paid, and how +I can make good the several particulars of my proposal, which I shall +now lay open to the public.</p> + +<p>The revenues of their Graces and Lordships the Archbishops and Bishops +of this kingdom (excluding the fines) do amount by a moderate +computation to 36,800<i>l. per ann.</i> I mean the rents which the bishops +receive from their tenants. But the real value of those lands at a full +rent, taking the several sees one with another, is reckoned to be at +least three-fourths more, so that multiplying 36,800<i>l.</i> by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> four, the +full rent of all the bishops' lands will amount to 147,200<i>l. per ann.</i> +from which subtracting the present rent received by their lordships, +that is 36,800<i>l.</i> the profits of the lands received by the first and +second tenants (who both have great bargains) will rise to the sum of +110,400<i>l. per ann.</i> which lands, if they were to be sold at twenty-two +years' purchase, would raise a sum of 2,428,800<i>l.</i> reserving to the +Bishops their present rents, only excluding fines.<a name="FNanchor_171_171" id="FNanchor_171_171"></a><a href="#Footnote_171_171" class="fnanchor">[171]</a></p> + +<p>Of this sum I propose, that out of the one-half which amounts to +1,214,400<i>l.</i> so much be applied as will entirely discharge the debts of +the nation, and the remainder laid up in the treasury, to supply +contingencies, as well as to discharge some of our heavy taxes, until +the kingdom shall be in a better condition.</p> + +<p>But whereas the present set of bishops would be great losers by this +scheme for want of their fines, which would be hard treatment to such +religious, loyal and deserving personages, I have therefore set apart +the other half to supply that defect, which it will more than +sufficiently do.</p> + +<p>A bishop's lease for the full term, is reckoned to be worth eleven +years' purchase, but if we take the bishops round, I suppose, there may +be four years of each lease elapsed, and many of the bishops being well +stricken in years, I cannot think their lives round to be worth more +than seven years' purchase; so that the purchasers may very well afford +fifteen years' purchase for the reversion, especially by one great +additional advantage, which I shall soon mention.</p> + +<p>This sum of 2,428,800<i>l.</i> must likewise be sunk very considerably, +because the lands are to be sold only at fifteen years' purchase, and +this lessens the sum to about 1,656,000<i>l.</i> of which I propose twelve +hundred thousand pounds to be applied partly for the payment of the +national debt, and partly as a fund for future exigencies, and the +remaining 456,000<i>l.</i> I propose as a fund for paying the present set of +bishops their fines, which it will abundantly do, and a great part +remain as an addition to the public stock.</p> + +<p>Although the bishops round do not in reality receive three fines +a-piece, which take up 21 years, yet I allow it to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span>be so; but then I +will suppose them to take but one year's rent, in recompense of giving +them so large a term of life, and thus multiplying 36,800<i>l.</i> by 3 the +product will be only 110,400<i>l.</i> so that above three-fourths will remain +to be applied to public use.</p> + +<p>If I have made wrong computations, I hope to be excused, as a stranger +to the kingdom, which I never saw till I was called to an employment, +and yet where I intend to pass the rest of my days; but I took care to +get the best information I could, and from the most proper persons; +however, the mistakes I may have been guilty of, will very little affect +the main of my proposal, although they should cause a difference of one +hundred thousand pounds more or less.</p> + +<p>These fines, are only to be paid to the bishop during his incumbency in +the same see; if he changeth it for a better, the purchasers of the +vacant see lands, are to come immediately into possession of the see he +hath left, and both the bishop who is removed, and he who comes into his +place, are to have no more fines, for the removed bishop will find his +account by a larger revenue; and the other see will find candidates +enough. For the law maxim will here have place, that <i>caveat</i>, &c. I +mean the persons who succeed may choose whether they will accept or no.</p> + +<p>As to the purchasers, they will probably be tenants to the see, who are +already in possession, and can afford to give more than any other +bidders.</p> + +<p>I will further explain myself. If a person already a bishop, be removed +into a richer see, he must be content with the bare revenues, without +any fines, and so must he who comes into a bishopric vacant by death: +And this will bring the matter sooner to bear; which if the Crown shall +think fit to countenance, will soon change the present set of bishops, +and consequently encourage purchasers of their lands. For example, If a +Primate should die, and the gradation be wisely made, almost the whole +set of bishops might be changed in a month, each to his great advantage, +although no fines were to be got, and thereby save a great part of that +sum which I have appropriated towards supplying the deficiency of fines.</p> + +<p>I have valued the bishops' lands two years' purchase<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> above the usual +computed rate, because those lands will have a sanction from the King +and Council in England, and be confirmed by an Act of Parliament here; +besides, it is well known, that higher prices are given every day, for +worse lands, at the remotest distances, and at rack rents, which I take +to be occasioned by want of trade, when there are few borrowers, and the +little money in private hands lying dead, there is no other way to +dispose of it but in buying of land, which consequently makes the owners +hold it so high.</p> + +<p>Besides paying the nation's debts, the sale of these lands would have +many other good effects upon the nation; it will considerably increase +the number of gentry, where the bishops' tenants are not able or willing +to purchase; for the lands will afford an hundred gentlemen a good +revenue to each; several persons from England will probably be glad to +come over hither, and be the buyers, rather than give thirty years' +purchase at home, under the loads of taxes for the public and the poor, +as well as repairs, by which means much money may be brought among us, +and probably some of the purchasers themselves may be content to live +cheap in a worse country, rather than be at the charge of exchange and +agencies, and perhaps of non-solvencies in absence, if they let their +lands too high.</p> + +<p>This proposal will also multiply farmers, when the purchasers will have +lands in their own power, to give long and easy leases to industrious +husbandmen.</p> + +<p>I have allowed some bishoprics of equal income to be of more or less +value to the purchaser, according as they are circumstanced. For +instance, The lands of the primacy and some other sees, are let so low, +that they hardly pay a fifth penny of the real value to the bishop, and +there the fines are the greater. On the contrary, the sees of Meath and +Clonfert, consisting, as I am told, much of tithes, those tithes are +annually let to the tenants without any fines. So the see of Dublin is +said to have many fee-farms which pay no fines, and some leases for +lives which pay very little, and not so soon nor so duly.</p> + +<p>I cannot but be confident, that their Graces my Lords the Archbishops, +and my Lords the Bishops will heartily join in this proposal, out of +gratitude to his late and present<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> Majesty, the best of Kings, who have +bestowed such high and opulent stations, as well as in pity to this +country which is now become their own; whereby they will be instrumental +towards paying the nation's debts, without impoverishing themselves, +enrich an hundred gentlemen, as well as free them from dependence, and +thus remove that envy which is apt to fall upon their Graces and +Lordships from considerable persons, whose birth and fortunes rather +qualify them to be lords of manors, than servile dependants upon +Churchmen however dignified or distinguished.</p> + +<p>If I do not flatter myself, there could not be any law more popular than +this; for the immediate tenants to bishops, being some of them persons +of quality, and good estates, and more of them grown up to be gentlemen +by the profits of these very leases, under a succession of bishops, +think it a disgrace to be subject both to rents and fines, at the +pleasure of their landlords. Then the bulk of the tenants, especially +the dissenters, who are our loyal Protestant brethren, look upon it both +as an unnatural and iniquitous thing that bishops should be owners of +land at all; (wherein I beg to differ from them) being a point so +contrary to the practice of the Apostles, whose successors they are +deemed to be, and who although they were contented that land should be +sold, for the common use of the brethren, yet would not buy it +themselves, but had it laid at their feet, to be distributed to poor +proselytes.</p> + +<p>I will add one word more, that by such a wholesome law, all the +oppressions felt by under-tenants of Church leases, which are now laid +on by the bishops would entirely be prevented, by their Graces and +Lordships consenting to have their lands sold for payment of the +nation's debts, reserving only the present rent for their own plentiful +and honourable support.</p> + +<p>I beg leave to add one particular, that, when heads of a Bill (as I find +the style runs in this kingdom) shall be brought in for forming this +proposal into a law; I should humbly offer that there might be a power +given to every bishop (except those who reside in Dublin) for applying +one hundred acres of profitable land that lies nearest to his palace, as +a demesne for the conveniency of his family.</p> + +<p>I know very well, that this scheme hath been much talked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> of for some +time past, and is in the thoughts of many patriots, neither was it +properly mine, although I fell readily into it, when it was first +communicated to me.</p> + +<p>Though I am almost a perfect stranger in this kingdom, yet since I have +accepted an employment here, of some consequence as well as profit, I +cannot but think myself in duty bound to consult the interest of a +people, among whom I have been so well received. And if I can be any way +instrumental towards contributing to reduce this excellent proposal into +a law which being not in the least injurious to England, will, I am +confident, meet with no opposition from that side, my sincere endeavours +to serve this Church and kingdom will be well rewarded.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A CASE SUBMITTED BY DEAN SWIFT TO<br />MR. LINDSAY, COUNSELLOR AT LAW.<a name="FNanchor_172_172" id="FNanchor_172_172"></a><a href="#Footnote_172_172" class="fnanchor">[172]</a></h3> + + +<p>A. B. agent for J. S. comes to desire J. S. to sign an assignment of a +lease in order to be registered for the security of 38<i>l.</i> J. S. asks +A. B. to show him the lease A. B. says he left it at home. J. S. asks the +said A. B. how many years of the lease are unexpired? what rent the +tenant pays, and how much below the rack value? and what number of acres +there are upon the farm? To each of which questions the agent A. B. +answers categorically, that he cannot tell, and that he did not think J. +would ask him such questions. The said A. B. was asked how he came two +years after the lease was assigned, and not sooner, to have it +registered. A. B. answers, that he could not sue till the assignment.</p> + +<p>Query, Whether the said agent A. B. made any one answer like a man of +business?</p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>AN</h4> + +<h3>EXAMINATION</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h3>CERTAIN ABUSES, CORRUPTIONS, AND ENORMITIES</h3> + +<h4>IN THE CITY OF DUBLIN.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span></h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Like many of Swift's satirical writings the title of this tract is +no indication to its subject-matter. Whatever "abuses, corruptions +and enormities" may have been rife in the city of Dublin in Swift's +time, the pamphlet which follows certainly throws no light on them. +It is in no sense a social document. But it is a very amusing and +excellent piece of jeering at the fancied apprehensions that were +rife about the Pretender, the "disaffected" people, and the +Jacobites. It is aimed at the Whigs, who were continually using the +party cries of "No Popery," "Jacobitism," and the other cognate +expressions to distress their political opponents. At the same +time, these cries had their effects, and created a great deal of +mischief. The Roman Catholics, in particular, were cruelly treated +because of the anxiety for the Protestant succession, and among the +lower tradesmen, for whom such cries would be of serious meaning, a +petty persecution against their Roman Catholic fellow-tradesmen +continually prevailed. Monck Mason draws attention to some curious +instances. (See his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 399, +note y.)</p> + +<p>In the "Journals of the Irish House of Commons" (vol. ii., p. 77) +is the record of a petition presented in the year 1695, by the +Protestant porters of the city of Dublin, against one Darby Ryan, +"a papist and notoriously disaffected." This Ryan was complained of +for employing those of his own persuasion and affection to carry a +cargo of coals he had bought, to his own customers. The petitioners +complained that they, Protestants, were "debased and hindered from +their small trade and gains." Another set of petitioners was the +drivers of hackney coaches. They complained that, "before the late +trouble, they got a livelihood by driving coaches in and about the +city of Dublin, but since that time, so many papists had got +coaches, and drove them with such ordinary horses, that the +petitioners could hardly get bread.... They therefore prayed the +house that none but Protestant hackney-coachmen may have liberty to +keep and drive hackney-coaches." Swift may have had these instances +in his mind when he urges that the criers who cry their wares in +Dublin should be True Protestants, and should give security to the +government for permission to cry.</p> + +<p>In a country where such absurd complaints could be seriously +presented, and as seriously considered, a genuine apprehension must +have existed. The Whigs in making capital out of this existing +feeling stigmatized their Tory opponents as High Churchmen, and +therefore very little removed from Papists, and therefore +Jacobites. Of course there were no real grounds for such epithets, +but they indulged in them nevertheless, with the addition of +insinuations and suggestions—no insinuation being too feeble or +too far-fetched so long as it served.</p> + +<p>Swift, writing in the person of a Whig, affects extreme anxiety for +the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span>most ridiculous of signs, and finds a Papist, or a Jacobite, +or a disaffected person, in the least likely of places. The tract, +in this light, is a really amusing piece. Swift takes the +opportunity also to hit Walpole, under a pretended censure of his +extravagance, corruption, and avarice.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text here given of this tract is based on that of the original +edition issued in Dublin in 1732. The last paragraph, however, does +not appear in that edition, and is reprinted here from Scott.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>AN</h4> + +<h2>EXAMINATION</h2> + +<h4>OF CERTAIN</h4> + +<h3><i>Abuses</i>, <i>Corruptions</i>,</h3> + +<h4>AND</h4> + +<h3><i>ENORMITIES</i></h3> + +<h4>IN THE</h4> + +<h3>City of <i>DUBLIN</i>.</h3> + + +<p class='center'><i>Dublin</i>: Printed in the Year 1732.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p>Nothing is held more commendable in all great cities, especially the +metropolis of a kingdom, than what the French call the police; by which +word is meant the government thereof, to prevent the many disorders +occasioned by great numbers of people and carriages, especially through +narrow streets. In this government our famous City of Dublin is said to +be very defective, and universally complained of. Many wholesome laws +have been enacted to correct those abuses, but are ill executed; and +many more are wanting, which I hope the united wisdom of the nation +(whereof so many good effects have already appeared this session) will +soon take into their most profound consideration.</p> + +<p>As I have been always watchful over the good of mine own country, and +particularly for that of our renowned city, where (<i>absit invidia</i>) I +had the honour to draw my first breath<a name="FNanchor_173_173" id="FNanchor_173_173"></a><a href="#Footnote_173_173" class="fnanchor">[173]</a>; I cannot have a minute's +ease or patience to forbear enumerating some of the greatest enormities, +abuses, and corruptions, spread almost through every part of Dublin; and +proposing such remedies as, I hope, the legislature will approve of.</p> + +<p>The narrow compass to which I have confined myself in this paper, will +allow me only to touch at the most important defects, and such as I +think seem to require the most speedy redress.</p> + +<p>And first, perhaps there was never known a wiser instit<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span>ution than that +of allowing certain persons of both sexes, in large and populous cities, +to cry through the streets many necessaries of life; it would be endless +to recount the conveniences which our city enjoys by this useful +invention, and particularly strangers, forced hither by business, who +reside here but a short time; for, these having usually but little +money, and being wholly ignorant of the town, might at an easy price +purchase a tolerable dinner, if the several criers would pronounce the +names of the goods they have to sell, in any tolerable language. And +therefore till our law-makers shall think it proper to interpose so far +as to make these traders pronounce their words in such terms, that a +plain Christian hearer may comprehend what is cried, I would advise all +new comers to look out at their garret windows, and there see whether +the thing that is cried be tripes or flummery, butter-milk or cow-heels. +For, as things are now managed, how is it possible for an honest +countryman, just arrived, to find out what is meant, for instance, by +the following words, with which his ears are constantly stunned twice a +day, "Mugs, jugs and porringers, up in the garret, and down in the +cellar." I say, how is it possible for any stranger to understand that +this jargon is meant as an invitation to buy a farthing's worth of milk +for his breakfast or supper, unless his curiosity draws him to the +window, or till his landlady shall inform him. I produce this only as +one instance, among a hundred much worse, I mean where the words make a +sound wholly inarticulate, which give so much disturbance, and so little +information.</p> + +<p>The affirmation solemnly made in the cry of herrings, is directly +against all truth and probability, "Herrings alive, alive here." The +very proverb will convince us of this; for what is more frequent in +ordinary speech, than to say of some neighbour for whom the passing-bell +rings, that he is dead as a herring. And, pray how is it possible, that +a herring, which as philosophers observe, cannot live longer than one +minute, three seconds and a half out of water, should bear a voyage in +open boats from Howth to Dublin, be tossed into twenty hands, and +preserve its life in sieves for several hours. Nay, we have witnesses +ready to produce, that many thousands of these herrings, so impudently +asserted to be alive, have been a day and a night upon dry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span> land. But +this is not the worst. What can we think of those impious wretches, who +dare in the face of the sun, vouch the very same affirmative of their +salmon, and cry, "Salmon alive, alive;" whereas, if you call the woman +who cries it, she is not ashamed to turn back her mantle, and shew you +this individual salmon cut into a dozen pieces. I have given good advice +to these infamous disgracers of their sex and calling, without the least +appearance of remorse, and fully against the conviction of their own +consciences. I have mentioned this grievance to several of our parish +ministers, but all in vain; so that it must continue until the +government shall think fit to interpose.</p> + +<p>There is another cry, which, from the strictest observation I can make, +appears to be very modern, and it is that of sweethearts,<a name="FNanchor_174_174" id="FNanchor_174_174"></a><a href="#Footnote_174_174" class="fnanchor">[174]</a> and is +plainly intended for a reflection upon the female sex, as if there were +at present so great a dearth of lovers, that the women instead of +receiving presents from men, were now forced to offer money, to purchase +sweethearts. Neither am I sure, that the cry doth not glance at some +disaffection against the government; insinuating, that while so many of +our troops are engaged in foreign service, and such a great number of +our gallant officers constantly reside in England, the ladies are forced +to take up with parsons and attorneys: But, this is a most unjust +reflection, as may soon be proved by any person who frequents the +Castle, our public walks, our balls and assemblies, where the crowds of +<i>toupees</i><a name="FNanchor_175_175" id="FNanchor_175_175"></a><a href="#Footnote_175_175" class="fnanchor">[175]</a> were never known to swarm as they do at present.</p> + +<p>There is a cry, peculiar to this City, which I do not remember to have +been used in London, or at least, not in the same terms that it has been +practised by both parties, during each of their power; but, very +unjustly by the Tories. While these were at the helm, they grew daily +more and more impatient to put all true Whigs and Hanoverians out of +employments. To effect which, they hired certain ordinary fellows, with +large baskets on their shoulders, to call aloud at every house, "Dirt to +carry out;" giving that denomination to our whole party, as if they +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span>would signify, that the kingdom could never be cleansed, till we were +swept from the earth like rubbish. But, since that happy turn of times, +when we were so miraculously preserved by just an inch, from Popery, +slavery, massacre, and the Pretender, I must own it prudence in us, +still to go on with the same cry, which hath ever since been so +effectually observed, that the true political dirt is wholly removed, +and thrown on its proper dunghills, there to corrupt, and be no more +heard of.</p> + +<p>But, to proceed to other enormities: Every person who walks the streets, +must needs observe the immense number of human excrements at the doors +and steps of waste houses, and at the sides of every dead wall; for +which the disaffected party have assigned a very false and malicious +cause. They would have it, that these heaps were laid there privately by +British fundaments, to make the world believe, that our Irish vulgar do +daily eat and drink; and, consequently, that the clamour of poverty +among us, must be false, proceeding only from Jacobites and Papists. +They would confirm this, by pretending to observe, that a British anus +being more narrowly perforated than one of our own country; and many of +these excrements upon a strict view appearing copple crowned, with a +point like a cone or pyramid, are easily distinguished from the +Hibernian, which lie much flatter, and with lest continuity. I +communicated this conjecture to an eminent physician, who is well versed +in such profound speculations; and at my request was pleased to make +trial with each of his fingers, by thrusting them into the anus of +several persons of both nations, and professed he could find no such +difference between them as those ill-disposed people allege. On the +contrary, he assured me, that much the greater number of narrow cavities +were of Hibernian origin. This I only mention to shew how ready the +Jacobites are to lay hold of any handle to express their malice against +the government. I had almost forgot to add, that my friend the physician +could, by smelling each finger, distinguish the Hibernian excrement from +the British, and was not above twice mistaken in an hundred experiments; +upon which he intends very soon to publish a learned dissertation.</p> + +<p>There is a diversion in this City, which usually begins<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span> among the +butchers, but is often continued by a succession of other people, +through many streets. It is called the COSSING of a dog; and I may +justly number it among our corruptions. The ceremony is this: A strange +dog happens to pass through a flesh-market; whereupon an expert butcher +immediately cries in a loud voice, and the proper tone, "Coss, coss," +several times: The same word is repeated by the people. The dog, who +perfectly understands the terms of art, and consequently the danger he +is in, immediately flies. The people, and even his own brother animals +pursue; the pursuit and cry attend him perhaps half a mile; he is well +worried in his flight, and sometimes hardly escapes. This, our +ill-wishers of the Jacobite kind, are pleased to call a persecution; and +affirm, that it always falls upon dogs of the Tory principle. But, we +can well defend ourselves, by justly alleging that when they were +uppermost, they treated our dogs full as inhumanly: As to my own part, +who have in former times often attended these processions, although I +can very well distinguish between a Whig and Tory dog, yet I never +carried my resentments very far upon a party principle, except it were +against certain malicious dogs, who most discovered their malice against +us in the <i>worst of times</i>.<a name="FNanchor_176_176" id="FNanchor_176_176"></a><a href="#Footnote_176_176" class="fnanchor">[176]</a> And, I remember too well, that in the +wicked ministry of the Earl of Oxford, a large mastiff of our party +being unmercifully cossed, ran, without thinking, between my legs, as I +was coming up Fishamble Street; and, as I am of low stature, with very +short legs, bore me riding backwards down the hill, for above two +hundred yards: And, although I made use of his tail for a bridle, +holding it fast with both my hands, and clung my legs as close to his +sides as I could, yet we both came down together into the middle of the +kennel; where after rolling three or four times over each other, I got +up with much ado, amid the shouts and huzzas of a thousand malicious +Jacobites: I cannot, indeed, but gratefully acknowledge, that for this +and many other services and sufferings, I have been since more than +over-paid.</p> + +<p>This adventure may, perhaps, have put me out of love with the diversions +of cossing, which I confess myself an <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span>enemy to, unless we could always +be sure of distinguishing Tory dogs; whereof great numbers have since +been so prudent, as entirely to change their principles, and are now +justly esteemed the best worriers of their former friends.</p> + +<p>I am assured, and partly know, that all the chimney-sweepers' boys, +where Members of Parliament chiefly lodge, are hired by our enemies to +skulk in the tops of chimneys, with their heads no higher than will just +permit them to look round; and at the usual hours when members are going +to the House, if they see a coach stand near the lodging of any loyal +member, they call "Coach, coach," as loud as they can bawl, just at the +instant when the footman begins to give the same call. And this is +chiefly done on those days, when any point of importance is to be +debated. This practice may be of very dangerous consequence. For, these +boys are all hired by enemies to the government; and thus, by the +absence of a few members for a few minutes, a question may be carried +against the true interest of the kingdom, and very probably, not without +any eye toward the Pretender.</p> + +<p>I have not observed the wit and fancy of this town, so much employed in +any one article, as that of contriving variety of signs to hang over +houses, where punch is to be sold. The bowl is represented full of +punch, the ladle stands erect in the middle, supported sometimes by one, +and sometimes by two animals, whose feet rest upon the edge of the bowl. +These animals are sometimes one black lion, and sometimes a couple; +sometimes a single eagle, and sometimes a spread one, and we often meet +a crow, a swan, a bear, or a cock, in the same posture.</p> + +<p>Now, I cannot find how any of these animals, either separate, or in +conjunction, are properly speaking, either fit emblems or +embellishments, to advance the sale of punch. Besides, it is agreed +among naturalists, that no brute can endure the taste of strong liquor, +except where he hath been used to it from his infancy: And, +consequently, it is against all the rules of hieroglyph, to assign those +animals as patrons, or protectors of punch. For, in that case, we ought +to suppose, that the host keeps always ready the real bird, or beast, +whereof the picture hangs over his door, to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span> entertain his guest; which, +however, to my knowledge, is not true in fact. For not one of those +birds is a proper companion for a Christian, as to aiding and assisting +in making the punch. For the birds, as they are drawn upon the sign, are +much more likely to mute, or shed their feathers into the liquor. Then, +as to the bear, he is too terrible, awkward, and slovenly a companion to +converse with; neither are any of them at all, handy enough to fill +liquor to the company: I do, therefore, vehemently suspect a plot +intended against the Government, by these devices. For, although the +spread-eagle be the arms of Germany, upon which account it may possibly +be a lawful Protestant sign; yet I, who am very suspicious of fair +outsides, in a matter which so nearly concerns our welfare, cannot but +call to mind, that the Pretender's wife is said to be of German birth: +And that many Popish Princes, in so vast an extent of land, are reported +to excel both at making and drinking punch. Besides, it is plain, that +the spread-eagle exhibits to us the perfect figure of a cross, which is +a badge of Popery. Then, as to the cock, he is well known to represent +the French nation, our old and dangerous enemy. The swan, who must of +necessity cover the entire bowl with his wings, can be no other than the +Spaniard, who endeavours to engross all the treasures of the Indies to +himself. The lion is indeed, the common emblem of Royal power, as well +as the arms of England; but to paint him black, is perfect Jacobitism, +and a manifest type of those who blacken the actions of the best +Princes. It is not easy to distinguish, whether the other fowl painted +over the punch-bowl, be a crow or raven? It is true, they have both been +held ominous birds; but I rather take it to be the former; because it is +the disposition of a crow, to pick out the eyes of other creatures; and +often even of Christians, after they are dead; and is therefore drawn +here, with a design to put the Jacobites in mind of their old practice, +first to lull us asleep, (which is an emblem of Death) and then to blind +our eyes, that we may not see their dangerous practices against the +State.</p> + +<p>To speak my private opinion, the least offensive picture in the whole +set, seems to be the bear; because he represents <i>ursa major</i>, or the +Great Bear, who presides over the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span> North, where the Reformation first +began, and which, next to Britain, (including Scotland and the north of +Ireland) is the great protector of the Protestant religion. But, +however, in those signs where I observe the bear to be chained, I can't +help surmising a Jacobite contrivance, by which these traitors hint an +earnest desire of using all true Whigs, as the predecessors did the +primitive Christians; I mean, to represent us as bears, and then halloo +their Tory dogs to bait us to death.</p> + +<p>Thus I have given a fair account of what I dislike, in all those signs +set over those houses that invite us to punch: I own it was a matter +that did not need explaining, being so very obvious to the most common +understanding. Yet, I know not how it happens, but methinks there seems +a fatal blindness, to overspread our corporeal eyes, as well as our +intellectual; and I heartily wish, I may be found a false prophet; for, +these are not bare suspicions, but manifest demonstrations.</p> + +<p>Therefore, away with those Popish, Jacobite, and idolatrous gew-gaws. +And I heartily wish a law were enacted, under severe penalties, against +drinking any punch at all. For nothing is easier, than to prove it a +disaffected liquor. The chief ingredients, which are brandy, oranges, +and lemons, are all sent us from Popish countries; and nothing remains +of Protestant growth but sugar and water. For, as to biscuit, which +formerly was held a necessary ingredient, and is truly British, we find +it is entirely rejected.</p> + +<p>But I will put the truth of my assertion, past all doubt: I mean, that +this liquor is by one important innovation, grown of ill example, and +dangerous consequence to the public. It is well known, that, by the true +original institution of making punch, left us by Captain Ratcliffe, the +sharpness is only occasioned by the juice of lemons, and so continued +till after the happy Revolution. Oranges, alas! are a mere innovation, +and in a manner but of yesterday. It was the politics of Jacobites to +introduce them gradually: And, to what intent? The thing speaks itself. +It was cunningly to shew their virulence against his sacred Majesty King +William, of ever glorious and immortal memory. But of late, (to shew how +fast disloyalty increaseth) they came from one or two, and then to three +oranges; nay, at present<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span> we often find punch made all with oranges, and +not one single lemon. For the Jacobites, before the death of that +immortal Prince, had, by a superstition, formed a private prayer, that, +as they squeezed the orange, so might that Protestant King be squeezed +to death<a name="FNanchor_177_177" id="FNanchor_177_177"></a><a href="#Footnote_177_177" class="fnanchor">[177]</a>: According to that known sorcery described by Virgil,</p> + +<p class='center'> +Limus ut hic durescit, et hæc ut cera liquescit, &c.</p> +<p class='author'>[Ecl. viii. 80.] +</p> + +<p>And, thus the Romans, when they sacrificed an ox, used this kind of +prayer. "As I knock down this ox, so may thou, O Jupiter, knock down our +enemies." In like manner, after King William's death, whenever a +Jacobite squeezed an orange, he had a mental curse upon the "glorious +memory," and a hearty wish for power to squeeze all his Majesty's +friends to death, as he squeezed that orange, which bore one of his +titles, as he was Prince of Orange. This I do affirm for truth; many of +that faction having confessed it to me, under an oath of secrecy; which, +however, I thought it my duty not to keep, when I saw my dear country in +danger. But, what better can be expected from an impious set of men, who +never scruple to drink <i>confusion</i> to all true Protestants, under the +name of Whigs? a most unchristian and inhuman practice, which, to our +great honour and comfort, was never charged upon us, even by our most +malicious detractors.</p> + +<p>The sign of two angels, hovering in the air, and with their right hands +supporting a crown, is met with in several parts of this city; and hath +often given me great offence: For, whether by the unskilfulness, or +dangerous principles of the painters, (although I have good reasons to +suspect the latter) those angels are usually drawn with such horrid +countenances, that they give great offence to every loyal eye, and equal +cause of triumph to the Jacobites being a most infamous reflection upon +our most able and excellent ministry.</p> + +<p>I now return to that great enormity of our city cries; most of which we +have borrowed from London. I shall consider <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span>them only in a political +view, as they nearly affect the peace and safety of both kingdoms; and +having been originally contrived by wicked Machiavels, to bring in +Popery, slavery, and arbitrary power, by defeating the Protestant +Succession, and introducing the Pretender, ought, in justice, to be here +laid open to the world.</p> + +<p>About two or three months after the happy Revolution, all persons who +possessed any employment, or office, in Church or State, were obliged by +an Act of Parliament, to take the oaths to King William and Queen Mary: +And a great number of disaffected persons, refusing to take the said +oaths, from a pretended scruple of conscience, but really from a spirit +of Popery and rebellion, they contrived a plot, to make the swearing to +those Princes odious in the eyes of the people. To this end, they hired +certain women of ill fame, but loud shrill voices, under pretence of +selling fish, to go through the streets, with sieves on their heads, and +cry, "Buy my soul, buy my soul;" plainly insinuating, that all those who +swore to King William, were just ready to sell their souls for an +employment. This cry was revived at the death of Queen Anne, and, I +hear, still continues in London, with great offence to all true +Protestants; but, to our great happiness, seems to be almost dropped in +Dublin.</p> + +<p>But, because I altogether contemn the displeasure and resentment of +high-fliers, Tories, and Jacobites, whom I look upon to be worse even +than professed Papists, I do here declare, that those evils which I am +going to mention, were all brought in upon us in the <i>worst of times</i>, +under the late Earl of Oxford's administration, during the four last +years of Queen Anne's reign. <i>That wicked minister was universally known +to be a Papist in his heart. He was of a most avaricious nature, and is +said to have died worth four millions, sterl.<a name="FNanchor_178_178" id="FNanchor_178_178"></a><a href="#Footnote_178_178" class="fnanchor">[178]</a> besides his vast +expenses in building, statues, gold plate, jewels, and other costly +rarities. He was of a mean obscure birth, from the very dregs of the +people, and so illiterate, that he could hardly read a paper at the +council table. I forbear to touch at his open, profane, profligate life; +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span>because I desire not to rake into the ashes of the dead, and therefore +I shall observe this wise maxim:</i> De mortuis nil nisi bonum.</p> + +<p>This flagitious man, in order to compass his black designs, employed +certain wicked instruments (which great statesmen are never without) to +adapt several London cries, in such a manner as would best answer his +ends. And, whereas it was upon grounds grievously suspected, that all +places at Court were sold to the highest bidder: Certain women were +employed by his emissaries, to carry fish in baskets on their heads, and +bawl through the streets, "Buy my fresh places." I must, indeed, own +that other women used the same cry, who were innocent of this wicked +design, and really sold their fish of that denomination to get an honest +livelihood; but the rest, who were in the secret, although they carried +fish in their sieves or baskets, to save appearances; yet they had +likewise, a certain sign, somewhat resembling that of the free-masons, +which the purchasers of places knew well enough, and were directed by +the women whither they were to resort, and make their purchase. And, I +remember very well, how oddly it looked, when we observed many gentlemen +finely dressed, about the Court end of the town, and as far as York +Buildings, where the Lord Treasurer Oxford dwelt, calling the women who +cried "Buy my fresh places," and talking to them in the corner of a +street, after they understood each other's sign: But we never could +observe that any fish was bought.</p> + +<p>Some years before the cries last mentioned, the Duke of Savoy was +reported to have made certain overtures to the Court of England, for +admitting his eldest son by the Duchess of Orleans's daughter, to +succeed to the Crown, as next heir, upon the Pretender's being rejected, +and that son was immediately to turn Protestant. It was confidently +reported, that great numbers of people disaffected to the then +illustrious but now Royal House of Hanover, were in those measures. +Whereupon another set of women were hired by the Jacobite leaders, to +cry through the whole town, "Buy my Savoys, dainty Savoys, curious +Savoys." But, I cannot directly charge the late Earl of Oxford with this +conspiracy, because he was not then chief Minister. However, the wicked +cry still continues in London, and was brought over<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span> hither, where it +remains to this day, and in my humble opinion, a very offensive sound to +every true Protestant, who is old enough to remember those dangerous +times.</p> + +<p>During the Ministry of that corrupt and Jacobite earl above-mentioned, +the secret pernicious design of those in power, was to sell Flanders to +France; the consequence of which, must have been the infallible ruin of +the States-General, and would have opened the way for France to obtain +that universal monarchy, after which they have so long aspired; to which +the British dominions must next, after Holland, have been compelled to +submit, and the Protestant religion would be rooted out of the world.</p> + +<p>A design of this vast importance, after long consultation among the +Jacobite grandees, with the Earl of Oxford at their head, was at last +determined to be carried on by the same method with the former; it was +therefore again put in practice; but the conduct of it was chiefly left +to chosen men, whose voices were louder and stronger than those of the +other sex. And upon this occasion, was first instituted in London, that +famous cry of "<span class="smcap">Flounders</span>." But the criers were particularly +directed to pronounce the word "Flaunders," and not "Flounders." For, +the country which we now by corruption call Flanders, is in its true +orthography spelt Flaunders, as may be obvious to all who read old +English books. I say, from hence begun that thundering cry, which hath +ever since stunned the ears of all London, made so many children fall +into fits, and women miscarry; "Come buy my fresh flaunders, curious +flaunders, charming flaunders, alive, alive, ho;" which last words can +with no propriety of speech be applied to fish manifestly dead, (as I +observed before in herrings and salmon) but very justly to ten +provinces, which contain many millions of living Christians. And the +application is still closer, when we consider that all the people were +to be taken like fishes in a net; and, by assistance of the Pope, who +sets up to be the universal Fisher of Men, the whole innocent nation, +was, according to our common expression, to be "laid as flat as a +flounder."</p> + +<p>I remember, myself, a particular crier of flounders in London, who +arrived at so much fame for the loudness of his voice, that he had the +honour to be mentioned upon that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span> account, in a comedy. He hath +disturbed me many a morning, before he came within fifty doors of my +lodging. And I can't tell if there's a comma here] although I were not +in those days so fully apprized of the designs, which our common enemy +had then in agitation, yet, I know not how, by a secret impulse, young +as I was, I could not forbear conceiving a strong dislike against the +fellow; and often said to myself, "This cry seems to be forged in the +Jesuits' school. Alas, poor England! I am grievously mistaken if there +be not some Popish Plot at the bottom." I communicated my thoughts to an +intimate friend, who reproached me with being too visionary in my +speculations: But, it proved afterwards, that I conjectured right. And I +have often since reflected, that if the wicked faction could have +procured only a thousand men, of as strong lungs as the fellow I +mentioned, none can tell how terrible the consequences might have been, +not only to these two Kingdoms, but over all Europe, by selling Flanders +to France. And yet these cries continue unpunished, both in London and +Dublin, although I confess, not with equal vehemency or loudness, +because the reason for contriving this desperate plot, is, to our great +felicity, wholly ceased.</p> + +<p>It is well known, that the majority of the British House of Commons in +the last years of Queen Anne's reign, were in their hearts directly +opposite to the Earl of Oxford's pernicious measures; which put him +under the necessity of bribing them with salaries. Whereupon he had +again recourse to his old politics. And accordingly, his emissaries were +very busy in employing certain artful women of no good life or +conversation, (as it was fully proved before Justice Peyton) to cry that +vegetable commonly called celery, through the town. These women differed +from the common criers of that herb, by some private mark which I could +never learn; but the matter was notorious enough, and sufficiently +talked of, and about the same period was the cry of celery brought over +into this kingdom. But since there is not at this present, the least +occasion to suspect the loyalty of our criers upon that article, I am +content that it may still be tolerated.</p> + +<p>I shall mention but one cry more, which hath any reference to politics; +but is indeed, of all others the most insolent, as well as treasonable, +under our present happy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span> Establishment. I mean that of turnups; not of +turnips, according to the best orthography, but absolutely turnups. +Although this cry be of an older date than some of the preceding +enormities, for it began soon after the Revolution; yet was it never +known to arrive at so great a height, as during the Earl of Oxford's +power. Some people, (whom I take to be private enemies) are, indeed, as +ready as myself to profess their disapprobation of this cry, on pretence +that it began by the contrivance of certain old procuresses, who kept +houses of ill-fame, where lewd women met to draw young men into vice. +And this they pretend to prove by some words in the cry; because, after +the crier had bawled out, "Turnups, ho, buy my dainty turnups," he would +sometimes add the two following verses:—</p> + +<p class='center'> +"Turn up the mistress, and turn up the maid,<br /> +And turn up the daughter, and be not afraid." +</p> + +<p>This, say some political sophists, plainly shews that there can be +nothing further meant in this infamous cry, than an invitation to +lewdness, which indeed, ought to be severely punished in all +well-regulated Governments; but cannot be fairly interpreted as a crime +of State. But, I hope, we are not so weak and blind to be deluded at +this time of day, with such poor evasions. I could, if it were proper, +demonstrate the very time when those two verses were composed, and name +the author, who was no other than the famous Mr. Swan, so well known for +his talent at quibbling, and was as virulent a Jacobite as any in +England. Neither could he deny the fact, when he was taxed for it in my +presence by Sir Harry Button-Colt, and Colonel Davenport, at the Smyrna +coffee-house, on the 10th of June, 1701. Thus it appears to a +demonstration, that those verses were only a blind to conceal the most +dangerous designs of that party, who from the first years after the +happy Revolution, used a cant way of talking in their clubs after this +manner: "We hope, to see the cards shuffled once more, and another king +<span class="smcap">turn up</span> trump:" And, "When shall we meet over a dish of +<span class="smcap">turnups</span>?" The same term of art was used in their plots against +the government, and in their treasonable letters writ in ciphers, and +deciphered by the famous Dr. Wallis, as you may read in the trials of +those times. This I thought fit to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span> set forth at large, and in so clear +a light, because the Scotch and French authors have given a very +different account of the word <span class="smcap">turnup</span>, but whether out of +ignorance or partiality I shall not decree; because I am sure, the +reader is convinced by my discovery. It is to be observed, that this cry +was sung in a particular manner by fellows in disguise, to give notice +where those traitors were to meet, in order to concert their villainous +designs.</p> + +<p>I have no more to add upon this article, than an humble proposal, that +those who cry this root at present in our streets of Dublin, may be +compelled by the justices of the peace, to pronounce turnip, and not +turnup; for, I am afraid, we have still too many snakes in our bosom; +and it would be well if their cellars were sometimes searched, when the +owners least expect it; for I am not out of fear that <i>latet anguis in +herbâ</i>.</p> + +<p>Thus, we are zealous in matters of small moment, while we neglect those +of the highest importance. I have already made it manifest, that all +these cries were contrived in the <i>worst of times</i>, under the ministry +of that desperate statesman, Robert, late Earl of Oxford, and for that +very reason ought to be rejected with horror, as begun in the reign of +Jacobites, and may well be numbered among the rags of Popery and +treason: Or if it be thought proper, that these cries must continue, +surely they ought to be only trusted in the hands of true Protestants, +who have given security to the government.</p> + +<p>[Having already spoken of many abuses relating to signposts, I cannot +here omit one more, because it plainly relates to politics; and is, +perhaps, of more dangerous consequence than any of the city cries, +because it directly tends to destroy the succession. It is the sign of +his present Majesty King George the Second, to be met with in many +streets; and yet I happen to be not only the first, but the only, +discoverer of this audacious instance of Jacobitism. And I am confident, +that, if the justices of the peace would please to make a strict +inspection, they might find, in all such houses, before which those +signs are hung up in the manner I have observed, that the landlords were +malignant Papists, or, which is worse, notorious Jacobites. Whoever +views those signs, may read, over his Majesty's head, the following +letters and ciphers,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span> G.R.II., which plainly signifies George, King the +Second, and not King George the Second, or George the Second, King; but +laying the point after the letter G, by which the owner of the house +manifestly shews, that he renounces his allegiance to King George the +Second, and allows him to be only the second king, <i>inuendo</i>, that the +Pretender is the first king; and looking upon King George to be only a +kind of second king, or viceroy, till the Pretender shall come over and +seize the kingdom. I appeal to all mankind, whether this be a strained +or forced interpretation of the inscription, as it now stands in almost +every street; whether any decipherer would make the least doubt or +hesitation to explain it as I have done; whether any other Protestant +country would endure so public an instance of treason in the capital +city from such vulgar conspirators; and, lastly, whether Papists and +Jacobites of great fortunes and quality may not probably stand behind +the curtain in this dangerous, open, and avowed design against the +government. But I have performed my duty; and leave the reforming of +these abuses to the wisdom, the vigilance, the loyalty, and activity of +my superiors.] <a name="FNanchor_179_179" id="FNanchor_179_179"></a><a href="#Footnote_179_179" class="fnanchor">[179]</a></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span></p> +<h4>A</h4> + +<h3>SERIOUS and USEFUL</h3> + +<h2>SCHEME,</h2> + +<h4>To make an</h4> + +<h3>Hospital for Incurables,</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h3>Universal Benefit to all His Majesty's Subjects.</h3> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'>Humbly addressed to the Rt. Hon. the Lord ——, the Rt. Hon. Sir ——, and +to the Rt. Hon. ——, Esq;</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'>To which is added,</p> + +<h4>A Petition of the Footmen in and about <i>Dublin</i>.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'><i>Fæcunda Culpæ Secula!</i>——Hor.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'>Printed at <i>LONDON</i>: And,<br /> +<i>DUBLIN</i>:<br /> +Printed by <i>GEORGE FAULKNER</i>, and Sold at his Shop in <i>Essex Street</i>, +opposite to the <i>Bridge</i>, and by <i>G. Risk, G. Ewing</i> and <i>W. Smith</i>, +Booksellers in <i>Dame-Street</i>, 1733.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>This piece, included by Sir Walter Scott for the first time among +Swift's writings, was, in the opinion of that editor, indisputably +the work of the Dean of St. Patrick's. The present editor sees no +reason to disagree with this judgement, and it is therefore +reprinted here. The original issue of 1733, printed by Faulkner +contained also Swift's "Petition of the Footmen in and about +Dublin," and had a lengthy advertisement of the Complete Works of +Swift which Faulkner was, at that time, projecting. It is +difficult, however, to understand why the tract was not included in +later editions of Swift's complete works. Sir Walter Scott puts +forward an explanation suggested by Dr. Barrett, who believed the +reason to have been, that this "<i>jeu d'esprit</i> might be interpreted +as casting a slur on an hospital erected upon Lazors-Hill, now on +the Donny-Brook road near Dublin, for the reception of persons +afflicted with incurable maladies." The reason seems a poor one, +though it may have been as Dr. Barrett states. A better argument +might be found from the style and subject matter of the tract +itself. The style is strongly Swift's, and the subject of such an +hospital must certainly have occupied Swift's thoughts at this +time, since he left his fortune for the erection of a similar +building.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of the present edition is based on that of the volume +issued by Faulkner in 1733, compared with the Dublin reprint of the +following year.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>A SERIOUS AND USEFUL SCHEME TO<br /> +MAKE AN HOSPITAL FOR<br /> +INCURABLES.</h3> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p>There is not any thing which contributes more to the reputation of +particular persons, or to the honour of a nation in general, than +erecting and endowing proper edifices, for the reception of those who +labour under different kinds of distress. The diseased and unfortunate +are thereby delivered from the misery of wanting assistance; and others +are delivered from the misery of beholding them.</p> + +<p>It is certain, that the genius of the people of England is strongly +turned to public charities; and to so noble a degree, that almost in +every part of this great and opulent city, and also in many of the +adjacent villages, we meet with a great variety of hospitals, supported +by the generous contributions of private families, as well as by the +liberality of the public. Some for seamen worn out in the service of +their country, and others for infirm disabled soldiers; some for the +maintenance of tradesmen decayed, and others for their widows and +orphans; some for the service of those who linger under tedious +distempers, and others for such as are deprived of their reason.</p> + +<p>But I find, upon nice inspection, that there is one kind of charity +almost totally disregarded, which, nevertheless, appears to me of so +excellent a nature, as to be at present more wanted, and better +calculated for the ease, quietness, and felicity of this whole kingdom, +than any other can possibly be. I mean an hospital for incurables.</p> + +<p>I must indeed confess, that an endowment of this nature would prove a +very large and perpetual expense. However, I have not the least +diffidence, that I shall be able effectually<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span> to convince the world that +my present scheme for such an hospital is very practicable, and must be +very desirable by every one who hath the interest of his country, or his +fellow-creatures, really at heart.</p> + +<p>It is observable, that, although the bodies of human creatures be +affected with an infinite variety of disorders, which elude the power of +medicine, and are often found to be incurable, yet their minds are also +overrun with an equal variety, which no skill, no power, no medicine, +can alter or amend. And I think, that, out of regard to the public peace +and emolument, as well as the repose of many pious and valuable +families, this latter species of incurables ought principally to engage +our attention and beneficence.</p> + +<p>I believe an Hospital for such Incurables will be universally allowed +necessary, if we only consider what numbers of absolute incurables every +profession, rank, and degree, would perpetually produce, which, at +present, are only national grievances, and of which we can have no other +effectual method to purge the kingdom.</p> + +<p>For instance; let any man seriously consider what numbers there are of +incurable fools, incurable knaves, incurable scolds, incurable +scribblers, (besides myself,) incurable coxcombs, incurable infidels, +incurable liars, incurable whores, in all places of public resort:—not +to mention the incurably vain, incurably envious, incurably proud, +incurably affected, incurably impertinent, and ten thousand other +incurables, which I must of necessity pass over in silence, lest I +should swell this essay into a volume. And without doubt, every +unprejudiced person will agree, that, out of mere Christian charity, the +public ought to be eased as much as possible of this troublesome and +intolerable variety of incurables.</p> + +<p>And first, Under the denomination of incurable fools, we may reasonably +expect, that such an hospital would be furnished with considerable +numbers of the growth of our own universities; who, at present, appear +in various professions in the world, under the venerable titles of +physicians, barristers, and ecclesiastics.</p> + +<p>And as those ancient seminaries have been, for some years past, +accounted little better than nurseries of such sort of incurables, it +should seem highly commendable to make some kind of provision for them; +because it is more than<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span> probable, that, if they are to be supported by +their own particular merit in their several callings, they must +necessarily acquire but a very indifferent maintenance.</p> + +<p>I would not, willingly, be here suspected to cast reflections on any +order of men, as if I thought that small gains from the profession of +any art or science, were always an undoubted sign of an equally small +degree of understanding; for I profess myself to be somewhat inclined to +a very opposite opinion, having frequently observed, that at the bar, +the pulse, and the pulpit, those who have the least learning or sense to +plead, meet generally with the largest share of promotions and profit: +of which many instances might be produced; but the public seems to want +no conviction in this particular.</p> + +<p>Under the same denominations we may further expect a large and +ridiculous quantity of old rich widows; whose eager and impatient +appetites inflame them with extravagant passions for fellows of a very +different age and complexion from themselves; who purchase contempt and +aversion with good jointures; and being loaded with years, infirmities, +and probably ill humour, are forced to bribe into their embraces such +whose fortunes and characters are equally desperate.</p> + +<p>Besides, our collection of incurable fools would receive an incredible +addition from every one of the following articles.</p> + +<p>From young extravagant heirs; who are just of a competent age to become +the bubbles of jockeys, sportsmen, gamesters, bullies, sharpers, +courtesans, and such sort of honourable pickpockets.</p> + +<p>From misers; who half starve themselves to feed the prodigality of their +heirs, and who proclaim to the world how unworthy they are of possessing +estates, by the wretched and ridiculous methods they take to enjoy them.</p> + +<p>From contentious people, of all conditions; who are content to waste the +greatest part of their own fortunes at law, to be the instruments of +impoverishing others.</p> + +<p>From those who have any confidence in profession of friendship, before +trial; or any dependence on the fidelity of a mistress.</p> + +<p>From young illiterate squires, who travel abroad to import lewdness, +conceit, arrogance, vanity, and foppery; of which commodities there +seems to be so great an abundance at home.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</a></span></p> + +<p>From young clergymen; who contrive, by matrimony, to acquire a family, +before they have obtained the necessary means to maintain one.</p> + +<p>From those who have considerable estates in different kingdoms, and yet +are so incurably stupid as to spend their whole incomes in this.</p> + +<p>These, and several other articles which might be mentioned, would afford +us a perpetual opportunity of easing the public, by having an hospital +for the accommodation of such incurables; who, at present, either by the +over-fondness of near relations, or the indolence of the magistrates, +are permitted to walk abroad, and appear in the most crowded places of +this city, as if they were indeed reasonable creatures.</p> + +<p>I had almost forgot to hint, that, under this article, there is a modest +probability that many of the clergy would be found properly qualified +for admittance into the hospital, who might serve in the capacity of +chaplains, and save the unnecessary expense of salaries.</p> + +<p>To these fools, in order succeed such as may justly be included under +the extensive denomination of incurable knaves; of which our several +Inns of Court would constantly afford us abundant supplies.</p> + +<p>I think indeed, that, of this species of incurables, there ought to be a +certain limited number annually admitted; which number, neither any +regard to the quiet or benefit of the nation, nor any other charitable +or public-spirited reason, should tempt us to exceed; because, if all +were to be admitted on such a foundation, who might be reputed incurable +of this distemper; and if it were possible for the public to find any +place large enough for their reception; I have not the least doubt, that +all our Inns, which are at this day so crowded, would in a short time be +emptied of their inhabitants; and the law, that beneficial craft, want +hands to conduct it.</p> + +<p>I tremble to think what herds of attorneys, solicitors, pettifoggers, +scriveners, usurers, hackney-clerks, pickpockets, pawn-brokers, jailors, +and justices of the peace, would hourly be driven to such an hospital; +and what disturbance it might also create in several noble and wealthy +families.</p> + +<p>What unexpected distress might it prove to several men<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</a></span> of fortune and +quality, to be suddenly deprived of their rich stewards, in whom they +had for many years reposed the utmost confidence, and to find them +irrecoverably lodged among such a collection of incurables!</p> + +<p>How many orphans might then expect to see their guardians hurried away +to the hospital; and how many greedy executors find reason to lament the +want of opportunity to pillage!</p> + +<p>Would not Exchange Alley have cause to mourn for the loss of its +stock-jobbers and brokers; and the Charitable Corporation for the +confinement of many of its directors?</p> + +<p>Might not Westminster-Hall, as well as all the gaming-houses in this +great city, be entirely unpeopled; and the professors of art in each of +those assemblies become useless in their vocations, by being deprived of +all future opportunity to be dishonest?</p> + +<p>In short, it might put the whole kingdom into confusion and disorder; +and we should find that the entire revenues of this nation would be +scarce able to support so great a number of incurables, in this way, as +would appear qualified for admission into our hospital.</p> + +<p>For if we only consider how this kingdom swarms with quadrille-tables, +and gaming-houses, both public and private; and also how each of those +houses, as well as Westminster-Hall aforesaid, swarms with knaves who +are anxious to win, or fools who have anything to lose; we may be soon +convinced how necessary it will be to limit the number of incurables, +comprehended under these titles, lest the foundation should prove +insufficient to maintain any others besides them.</p> + +<p>However, if, by this Scheme of mine, the nation can be eased of twenty +or thirty thousand such incurables, I think it ought to be esteemed +somewhat beneficial, and worthy of the attention of the public.</p> + +<p>The next sort for whom I would gladly provide, and who for several +generations have proved insupportable plagues and grievances to the good +people of England, are those who may properly be admitted under the +character of incurable scolds.</p> + +<p>I own this to be a temper of so desperate a nature, that few females can +be found willing to own themselves anyway<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</a></span> addicted to it; and yet, it +is thought that there is scarce a single parson, 'prentice, alderman, +squire, or husband, who would not solemnly avouch the very reverse.</p> + +<p>I could wish, indeed, that the word scold might be changed for some more +gentle term, of equal signification; because I am convinced, that the +very name is as offensive to female ears, as the effects of that +incurable distemper are to the ears of the men; which, to be sure, is +inexpressible.</p> + +<p>And that it hath been always customary to honour the very same kind of +actions with different appellations, only to avoid giving offence, is +evident to common observation.</p> + +<p>For instance: How many lawyers, attorneys, solicitors, under-sheriffs, +intriguing chambermaids, and counter-officers, are continually guilty of +extortion, bribery, oppression, and many other profitable knaveries, to +drain the purses of those with whom they are any way concerned! And yet, +all these different expedients to raise a fortune, pass generally under +the milder names of fees, perquisites, vails, presents, gratuities, and +such like; although, in strictness of speech, they should be called +robbery, and consequently be rewarded with a gibbet.</p> + +<p>Nay, how many honourable gentlemen might be enumerated, who keep open +shop to make a trade of iniquity; who teach the law to wink whenever +power or profit appears in her way; and contrive to grow rich by the +vice, the contention, or the follies of mankind; and who, nevertheless, +instead of being branded with the harsh-sounding names of knaves, +pilferers, or public oppressors, (as they justly merit,) are only +distinguished by the title of justices of the peace; in which single +term, all those several appellations are generally thought to be +implied.</p> + +<p>But to proceed. When first I determined to prepare this Scheme for the +use and inspection of the public, I intended to examine one whole ward +in this city, that my computation of the number of incurable scolds +might be more perfect and exact. But I found it impossible to finish my +progress through more than one street.</p> + +<p>I made my first application to a wealthy citizen in Cornhill, +common-council-man for his ward; to whom I hinted, that if he knew e'er +an incurable scold in the neighbourhood, I had some hope to provide for +her in such a manner, as to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</a></span> hinder her from being further troublesome. +He referred me with great delight to his next-door friend; yet whispered +me, that, with much greater ease and pleasure, he could furnish me out +of his own family ——; and begged the preference.</p> + +<p>His next-door friend owned readily that his wife's qualifications were +not misrepresented, and that he would cheerfully contribute to promote +so useful a scheme; but positively asserted, that it would be of small +service to rid the neighbourhood of one woman, while such multitudes +would remain all equally insupportable.</p> + +<p>By which circumstance I conjectured, that the quantity of these +incurables in London, Westminster, and Southwark, would be very +considerable; and that a generous contribution might reasonably be +expected for such an hospital as I am recommending.</p> + +<p>Besides, the number of these female incurables would probably be very +much increased by additional quantities of old maids; who, being wearied +with concealing their ill-humour for one-half of their lives, are +impatient to give it full vent in the other. For old maids, like old +thin-bodied wines, instead of growing more agreeable by years, are +observed, for the most part, to become intolerably sharp, sour, and +useless.</p> + +<p>Under this denomination also, we may expect to be furnished with as +large a collection of old bachelors, especially those who have estates, +and but a moderate degree of understanding. For, an old wealthy +bachelor, being perpetually surrounded with a set of flatterers, +cousins, poor dependents, and would-be heirs, who for their own views +submit to his perverseness and caprice, becomes insensibly infected with +this scolding malady, which generally proves incurable, and renders him +disagreeable to his friends, and a fit subject for ridicule to his +enemies.</p> + +<p>As to the incurable scribblers, (of which society I have the honour to +be a member,) they probably are innumerable; and, of consequence, it +will be absolutely impossible to provide for one-tenth part of their +fraternity. However, as this set of incurables are generally more +plagued with poverty than any other, it will be a double charity to +admit them on the foundation; a charity to the world, to whom they are a +common pest and nuisance; and a charity to themselves, to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</a></span> relieve them +from want, contempt, kicking, and several other accidents of that +nature, to which they are continually liable.</p> + +<p>Grub-street itself would then have reason to rejoice, to see so many of +its half-starved manufacturers amply provided for; and the whole tribe +of meagre incurables would probably shout for joy, at being delivered +from the tyranny and garrets of printers, publishers, and booksellers.</p> + +<p>What a mixed multitude of ballad-writers, ode-makers, translators, +farce-compounders, opera-mongers, biographers, pamphleteers, and +journalists, would appear crowding to the hospital; not unlike the +brutes resorting to the ark before the deluge! And what an universal +satisfaction would such a sight afford to all, except pastry-cooks, +grocers, chandlers, and tobacco-retailers, to whom alone the writings of +those incurables were anyway profitable!</p> + +<p>I have often been amazed to observe, what a variety of incurable +coxcombs are to be met with between St. James's and Limehouse, at every +hour of the day; as numerous as Welsh parsons, and equally contemptible. +How they swarm in all coffeehouses, theatres, public walks, and private +assemblies; how they are incessantly employed in cultivating intrigues, +and every kind of irrational pleasure; how industrious they seem to +mimic the appearance of monkeys, as monkeys are emulous to imitate the +gestures of men: And from such observations, I concluded, that to +confine the greatest part of those incurables, who are so many living +burlesques of human nature, would be of eminent service to this nation; +and I am persuaded that I am far from being singular in that opinion.</p> + +<p>As for the incurable infidels and liars, I shall range them under the +same article, and would willingly appoint them the same apartment in the +hospital; because there is a much nearer resemblance between them, than +is generally imagined.</p> + +<p>Have they not an equal delight in imposing falsities on the public; and +seem they not equally desirous to be thought of more sagacity and +importance than others? Do they not both report what both know to be +false; and both confidently assert what they are conscious is most +liable to contradiction?</p> + +<p>The parallel might easily be carried on much further, if<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</a></span> the intended +shortness of this essay would admit it. However, I cannot forbear taking +notice, with what immense quantities of incurable liars his Majesty's +kingdoms are overrun; what offence and prejudice they are to the public; +what inconceivable injury to private persons; and what a necessity there +is for an hospital, to relieve the nation from the curse of so many +incurables.</p> + +<p>This distemper appears almost in as many different shapes, as there are +persons afflicted with it; and, in every individual, is always beyond +the power of medicine.</p> + +<p>Some lie for their interest; such as fishmongers, flatterers, pimps, +lawyers, fortune-hunters, and fortune-tellers; and others lie for their +entertainment, as maids, wives, widows, and all other tea-table +attendants.</p> + +<p>Some lie out of vanity, as poets, painters, players, fops, military +officers, and all those who frequent the levees of the great: and others +lie out of ill nature, as old maids, &c.</p> + +<p>Some lie out of custom, as lovers, coxcombs, footmen, sailors, +mechanics, merchants, and chambermaids; and others lie out of +complaisance or necessity, as courtiers, chaplains, &c. In short, it +were endless to enumerate them all, but this sketch may be sufficient to +give us some small imperfect idea of their numbers.</p> + +<p>As to the remaining incurables, we may reasonably conclude, that they +bear at least an equal proportion to those already mentioned; but with +regard to the incurable whores in this kingdom, I must particularly +observe, that such of them as are public, and make it their profession, +have proper hospitals for their reception already, if we could find +magistrates without passions, or officers without an incurable itch to a +bribe. And such of them as are private, and make it their amusement, I +should be unwilling to disturb, for two reasons.</p> + +<p>First, Because it might probably afflict many noble, wealthy, contented, +and unsuspecting husbands, by convincing them of their own dishonour, +and the unpardonable disloyalty of their wives: And, secondly, Because +it will be for ever impossible to confine a woman from being guilty of +any kind of misconduct, when once she is firmly resolved to attempt it.</p> + +<p>From all which observations, every reasonable man must<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</a></span> infallibly be +convinced, that an hospital for the support of these different kinds of +incurables, would be extremely beneficial to these kingdoms. I think, +therefore, that nothing further is wanting, but to demonstrate to the +public, that such a Scheme is very practicable; both by having an +undoubted method to raise an annual income, at least sufficient to make +the experiment, (which is the way of founding all hospitals,) and by +having also a strong probability, that such an hospital would be +supported by perpetual benefactions; which, in very few years, might +enable us to increase the number of incurables to nine-tenths more than +we can reasonably venture on at first.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p class='center'><i>A Computation of the Daily and Annual Expenses of an Hospital, to be +erected for Incurables.</i></p> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="COST OF AN HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'>Per day.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable fools, are almost infinite; however, at</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>first, I would have only twenty thousand admitted;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>and, allowing to each person but one shilling per</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>day for maintenance, which is as low as possible, the</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>daily expense for this article will be</td><td align='right'>£1000</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable knaves, are, if possible, more numerous,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>including foreigners, especially Irishmen. Yet I</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>would limit the number of these to about thirty</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>thousand; which would amount to</td><td align='right'>1500</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable scolds, would be plentifully supplied</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>from almost every family in the kingdom. And indeed,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>to make this hospital of any real benefit, we</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>cannot admit fewer, even at first, than thirty thousand,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>including the ladies of Billingsgate and Leadenhall</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>market, which is</td><td align='right'>1500</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The incurable scribblers, are undoubtedly a very</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>considerable society, and of that denomination I</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>would admit at least forty thousand; because it is</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>to be supposed, that such incurables will be found</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>in greatest distress for a daily maintenance. And</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>if we had not great encouragement to hope, that</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>many of that class would properly be admitted</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>among the incurable fools, I should strenuously intercede</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>to have ten or twenty thousand more added.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But their allowed number will amount to</td><td align='right'>2000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</a></span></td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable coxcombs, are very numerous; and,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>considering what numbers are annually imported</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>from France and Italy, we cannot admit fewer than</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>ten thousand, which will be</td><td align='right'>500</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable infidels, (as they affect to be called)</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>should be received into the hospital to the number</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>of ten thousand. However, if it should accidentally</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>happen to grow into a fashion to be believers, it is</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>probable, that the great part of them would, in a</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>very short time, be dismissed from the hospital, as</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>perfectly cured. Their expense would be</td><td align='right'>500</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Incurable liars, are infinite in all parts of the kingdom;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>and, making allowance for citizens' wives,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>mercers, prentices, news-writers, old maids, and</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>flatterers, we cannot possibly allow a smaller number</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>than thirty thousand, which will amount to</td><td align='right'>1500</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The incurable envious, are in vast quantities</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>throughout this whole nation. Nor can it reasonably</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>be expected that their numbers should lessen, while</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>fame and honours are heaped upon some particular</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>persons, as the public reward of their superior</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>accomplishments, while others, who are equally excellent,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>in their own opinions, are constrained to</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>live unnoticed and contemned. And, as it would</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>be impossible to provide for all those who are possessed</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>with this distemper, I should consent to admit</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>only twenty thousand at first, by way of experiment,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>amounting to</td><td align='right'>1000</td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Of the incurable vain, affected, and impertinent,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I should at least admit ten thousand; which number</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I am confident will appear very inconsiderable, if</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>we include all degrees of females, from the duchess</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>to the chambermaid; all poets, who have had a little</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>success, especially in the dramatic way, and all</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>players, who have met with a small degree of approbation.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Amounting only to</td><td align='right'>500</td></tr> +</table></div> +<p><br /><br /></p> + +<p>By which plain computation it is evident, that two hundred thousand +persons will be daily provided for, and the allowance for maintaining +this collection of incurables may be seen in the following account.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</a></span></p> + + + +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" width="90%" cellspacing="0" summary="MORE COSTS OF AN HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES"> +<tr><td> </td> +<td align="center" rowspan="10" valign="top" style="white-space: nowrap"> + </td> + <td valign="bottom" class="tdright" rowspan="10" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 110pt"> + {</td><td> </td><td> </td><td> </td></tr> +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>Per day.</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Fools, being</td> +<td align='right'>20,000</td> +<td>at one shilling each</td> +<td align='right'>£1000</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Knaves</td> +<td align='right'>30,000</td> +<td align='center'>ditto</td> +<td align='right'>1500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td><i>For</i></td> +<td>Scolds</td> +<td align='right'>30,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>1500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td><i>the</i></td> +<td>Scribblers</td> +<td align='right'>40,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>2500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td><i>Incurables</i></td> +<td>Coxcombs</td> +<td align='right'>10,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Infidels</td> +<td align='right'>10,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Liars</td> +<td align='right'>30,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>1500</td> +</tr> +</table> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" width="90%" cellspacing="0" summary="MORE COSTS OF AN HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES"> +<tr><td> </td> +<td align="center" rowspan="3" valign="top" style="white-space: nowrap"> + </td> + <td valign="bottom" class="tdright" rowspan="3" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 30pt"> + {</td><td> </td><td> </td><td> </td></tr> +<tr> +<td><i>For the</i></td> +<td>Envious</td> +<td align='right'>20,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>1000</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td><i>Incurably</i></td> +<td>Vain</td> +<td align='right'>10,000</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>500</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>——</td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>——</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td></td> +<td>Total maintained</td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td align='right'>200,000</td> +<td align='center'>Total expense</td> +<td align='right'>£10,000</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p><br /><br /></p> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="TOTAL COST OF AN HOSTPITAL FOR INCURABLES"> +<tr><td> </td><td align='center'>M. Th. H.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>From whence it appears, that the daily expense</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>will amount to such a sum, as in 365</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>days comes to</td><td align='right'>£3,650,000</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>And I am fully satisfied that a sum, much greater than this, may easily +be raised, with all possible satisfaction to the subject, and without +interfering in the least with the revenues of the crown.</p> + +<p>In the first place, a large proportion of this sum might be raised by +the voluntary contribution of the inhabitants.</p> + +<p>The computed number of people in Great Britain is very little less than +eight millions; of which, upon a most moderate computation, we may +account one half to be incurables. And as all those different +incurables, whether acting in the capacity of friends, acquaintances, +wives, husbands, daughters, counsellors, parents, old maids, or old +bachelors, are inconceivable plagues to all those with whom they happen +to be concerned; and as there is no hope of being eased of such plagues, +except by such an hospital, which by degrees might be enlarged to +contain them all: I think it cannot be doubted, that at least three +millions and an half of people, out of the remaining proportion, would +be found both able and desirous to contribute so small a sum as twenty +shillings <i>per annum</i>, for the quiet of the kingdom, the peace of +private families, and the credit of the nation in general. And this +contribution would amount to very near our requisite sum.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</a></span></p> + +<p>Nor can this by any means be esteemed a wild conjecture; for where is +there a man of common sense, honesty, or good-nature, who would not +gladly propose even a much greater sum to be freed from a scold, a +knave, a fool, a liar, a coxcomb conceitedly repeating the compositions +of others, or a vain impertinent poet repeating his own?</p> + +<p>In the next place, it may justly be supposed, that many young noblemen, +knights, squires, and extravagant heirs, with very large estates, would +be confined in our hospital. And I would propose, that the annual income +of every particular incurable's estate should be appropriated to the use +of the house. But, besides these, there will undoubtedly be many old +misers, aldermen, justices, directors of companies, templars, and +merchants of all kinds, whose personal fortunes are immense, and who +should proportionably pay to the hospital.</p> + +<p>Yet, lest, by being here misunderstood, I should seem to propose an +unjust or oppressive Scheme, I shall further explain my design.</p> + +<p>Suppose, for instance, a young nobleman, possessed of ten or twenty +thousand pounds <i>per annum</i>, should accidentally be confined there as an +incurable: I would have only such a proportion of his estate applied to +the support of the hospital, as he himself would spend if he were at +liberty. And, after his death, the profits of the estate should +regularly devolve to the next lawful heir, whether male or female.</p> + +<p>And my reason for this proposal is; because considerable estates, which +probably would be squandered away among hounds, horses, whores, +sharpers, surgeons, tailors, pimps, masquerades, or architects, if left +to the management of such incurables; would, by this means, become of +some real use, both to the public and themselves. And perhaps this may +be the only method which can be found to make such young spendthrifts of +any real benefit to their country.</p> + +<p>And although the estates of deceased incurables might be permitted to +descend to the next heirs, the hospital would probably sustain no great +disadvantage; because it is very likely that most of these heirs would +also gradually be admitted under some denomination or other; and +consequently their estates would again devolve to the use of the +hospital.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</a></span></p> + +<p>As to the wealthy misers, &c., I would have their private fortunes +nicely examined and calculated; because, if they were old bachelors, (as +it would frequently happen,) their whole fortunes should then be +appropriated to the endowment; but, if married, I would leave two-thirds +of their fortunes for the support of their families; which families +would cheerfully consent to give away the remaining third, if not more, +to be freed from such peevish and disagreeable governors.</p> + +<p>So that, deducting from the two hundred thousand incurables the forty +thousand scribblers, who to be sure would be found in very bad +circumstances; I believe, among the remaining hundred and sixty thousand +fools, knaves, and coxcombs, so many would be found of large estates and +easy fortunes, as would at least produce two hundred thousand pounds +<i>per annum</i>.</p> + +<p>As a further addition to our endowment, I would have a tax upon all +inscriptions and tombstones, monuments and obelisks, erected to the +honour of the dead, or on porticoes and trophies, to the honour of the +living; because these will naturally and properly come under the article +of lies, pride, vanity, &c.</p> + +<p>And if all inscriptions throughout this kingdom were impartially +examined, in order to tax those which should appear demonstrably false +or flattering, I am convinced that not one-fifth part of the number +would, after such a scrutiny, escape exempted.</p> + +<p>Many an ambitious turbulent spirit would then be found, belied with the +opposite title of "lover of his country"; and many a Middlesex justice, +as improperly described, "sleeping in hope of salvation."</p> + +<p>Many an usurer, discredited by the appellations of "honest and frugal"; +and many a lawyer, with the character of conscientious and "equitable."</p> + +<p>Many a British statesman and general, decaying, with more honour than +they lived; and their dusts distinguished with a better reputation than +when they were animated.</p> + +<p>Many dull parsons, improperly styled eloquent; and as many stupid +physicians, improperly styled learned.</p> + +<p>Yet, notwithstanding the extensiveness of a tax upon such monumental +impositions, I will count only upon twenty<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</a></span> thousand, at five pounds +<i>per annum</i> each, which will amount to one hundred thousand pounds +annually.</p> + +<p>To these annuities, I would also request the Parliament of this nation +to allow the benefit of two lotteries yearly; by which the hospital +would gain two hundred thousand pounds clear. Nor can such a request +seem any way extraordinary, since it would be appropriated to the +benefit of fools and knaves, which is the sole cause of granting one for +this present year.</p> + +<p>In the last place, I would add the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.;<a name="FNanchor_180_180" id="FNanchor_180_180"></a><a href="#Footnote_180_180" class="fnanchor">[180]</a> +and, to do his memory all possible honour, I would have his statue +erected in the very first apartment of the hospital, or in any other +which might seem more apt. And, on his monument, I would permit a long +inscription, composed by his dearest friends, which should remain +tax-free for ever.</p> + +<p>From these several articles, therefore, would annually arise the +following sums.</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="ANALYSIS OF THE COSTS OF AN HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'> M. Th. H.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'> P. Ann.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>From the voluntary contribution,</td><td align='right'>£3,500,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>From the estates of the incurables,</td><td align='right'>200,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>By the tax upon tombstones, monuments,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>&c. (that of Richard Norton, Esq. always</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>excepted,)</td><td align='right'>100,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>By two annual lotteries,</td><td align='right'>200,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>By the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.</td><td align='right'>6,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>—————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Total,</td><td align='right'>£4,006,000<a name="FNanchor_181_181" id="FNanchor_181_181"></a><a href="#Footnote_181_181" class="fnanchor">[181]</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='left'>—————</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And the necessary sum for the hospital being</td><td align='right'>£3,650,000</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>There will remain annually over and above,</td><td align='right'>356,000</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<p>Which sum of 356,000<i>l.</i> should be applied towards erecting the +building, and answer accidental expenses, in such a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</a></span>manner as should +seem most proper to promote the design of the hospital. But the whole +management of it should be left to the skill and discretion of those who +are to be constituted governors.</p> + +<p>It may, indeed, prove a work of some small difficulty to fix upon a +commodious place, large enough for a building of this nature. I should +have thoughts of attempting to enclose all Yorkshire, if I were not +apprehensive that it would be crowded with so many incurable knaves of +its own growth, that there would not be the least room left for the +reception of any others; by which accident, our whole project might be +retarded for some time.</p> + +<p>Thus have I set this matter in the plainest light I could, that every +one may judge of the necessity, usefulness, and practicableness of this +Scheme: and I shall only add a few scattered hints, which, to me, seem +not altogether unprofitable.</p> + +<p>I think the prime minister for the time being ought largely to +contribute to such a foundation; because his high station and merits +must of necessity infect a great number with envy, hatred, lying, and +such sort of distempers; and, of consequence, furnish the hospital +annually with many incurables.</p> + +<p>I would desire that the governors appointed to direct this hospital, +should have (if such a thing were possible) some appearance of religion, +and belief in God; because those who are to be admitted as incurable +infidels, atheists, deists, and freethinkers, most of which tribe are +only so out of pride, conceit, and affectation, might perhaps grow +gradually into believers, if they perceived it to be the custom of the +place where they lived.</p> + +<p>Although it be not customary for the natives of Ireland to meet with any +manner of promotion in this kingdom, I would, in this respect, have that +national prejudice entirely laid aside; and request, that, for the +reputation of both kingdoms, a <i>large</i> apartment in the hospital may be +fitted up for Irishmen particularly, who, either by knavery, lewdness, +or fortune-hunting, should appear qualified for admittance; because +their numbers would certainly be very considerable.</p> + +<p>I would further request, that a father, who seems delighted at seeing +his son metamorphosed into a fop, or a coxcomb, because he hath +travelled from London to Paris; may be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</a></span> sent along with the young +gentleman to the hospital, as an old fool, absolutely incurable.</p> + +<p>If a poet hath luckily produced anything, especially in the dramatic +way, which is tolerably well received by the public, he should be sent +immediately to the hospital; because incurable vanity is always the +consequence of a little success. And, if his compositions be ill +received, let him be admitted as a scribbler.</p> + +<p>And I hope, in regard to the great pains I have taken, about this +Scheme, that I shall be admitted upon the foundation, as one of the +scribbling incurables. But, as an additional favour, I entreat, that I +may not be placed in an apartment with a poet who hath employed his +genius for the stage; because he will kill me with repeating his own +compositions: and I need not acquaint the world, that it is extremely +painful to bear any nonsense—except our own.</p> + +<p>My private reason for soliciting so early to be admitted is, because it +is observed that schemers and projectors are generally reduced to +beggary; but, by my being provided for in the hospital, either as an +incurable fool or a scribbler, that discouraging observation will for +once be publicly disproved, and my brethren in that way will be secure +of a public reward for their labours.</p> + +<p>It gives me, I own, a great degree of happiness, to reflect, that +although in this short treatise the characters of many thousands are +contained, among the vast variety of incurables; yet, not any one person +is likely to be offended; because, it is natural to apply ridiculous +characters to all the world, except ourselves. And I dare be bold to +say, that the most incurable fool, knave, scold, coxcomb, scribbler, or +liar, in this whole nation, will sooner enumerate the circle of their +acquaintance as addicted to those distempers, than once imagine +<i>themselves</i> any way qualified for such an hospital.</p> + +<p>I hope, indeed, that our wise legislature will take this project into +their serious consideration; and promote an endowment, which will be of +such eminent service to multitudes of his Majesty's unprofitable +subjects, and may in time be of use to <i>themselves</i> and their posterity.<br /><br /></p> + + +<p><span style="margin-left: 2em;">From my Garret in Moorfields, Aug. 20, 1733.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>TO THE HONOURABLE</h4> + +<h3>HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c.</h3> + +<p class='center'><i>The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin.</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Swift may have written the following mock petition by way of satire +against the many absurd petitions which were presented at the time +to the Irish House of Commons, and of which two examples were +quoted in the note to a previous tract. If coal-porters and +hackney-coachmen might address the Honourable House, why not +footmen?</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is based on that found at the end of Swift's +"Serious and Useful Scheme to make an Hospital for Incurables," +issued by George Faulkner in 1733. Faulkner reprinted this volume +in 1734.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>TO THE HONOURABLE</h4> + +<h3>HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c.</h3> + +<p class='center'><i>The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin.</i></p> + + +<p><span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Humbly Sheweth</i>,</span></p> + +<p>That your Petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with +several privileges, time out of mind.</p> + +<p>That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons, for several months +past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public +walks of this City, habited sometimes in green coats, and sometimes in +laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands, and without swords, in +hopes to procure favour, by that advantage, with a great number of +ladies who frequent those walks, pretending and giving themselves out to +be true genuine Irish footmen. Whereas they can be proved to be no +better than common toupees,<a name="FNanchor_182_182" id="FNanchor_182_182"></a><a href="#Footnote_182_182" class="fnanchor">[182]</a> as a judicious eye may soon discover by +their awkward, clumsy, ungenteel gait and behaviour, by their +unskilfulness in dress, even with the advantage of wearing our habits, +by their ill-favoured countenances, with an air of impudence and dulness +peculiar to the rest of their brethren; who have not yet arrived at that +transcendent pitch of assurance. Although, it may be justly apprehended, +that they will do so in time, if these counterfeits shall happen to +succeed in their evil design, of passing for real footmen, thereby to +render themselves more amiable to the ladies.</p> + +<p>Your petitioners do further allege, that many of the said counterfeits, +upon a strict examination, have been found in the very act of strutting, +swearing, staring, swaggering, in a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</a></span>manner that plainly shewed their +best endeavours to imitate us. Wherein, although they did not succeed, +yet by their ignorant and ungainly way of copying our graces, the utmost +indignity was endeavoured to be cast upon our whole profession.</p> + +<p>Your Petitioners do therefore make it their humble request, that this +Honourable House, (to many of whom your Petitioners are nearly allied) +will please to take this grievance into your most serious consideration: +Humbly submitting, whether it would not be proper, that certain officers +might, at the public charge, be employed to search for, and discover all +such counterfeit footmen, and carry them before the next Justice of +Peace; by whose warrant, upon the first conviction, they should be +stripped of their coats, and oaken ornaments, and be set two hours in +the stocks. Upon the second conviction, besides stripping, be set six +hours in the stocks, with a paper pinned on their breast signifying +their crime, in large capital letters, and in the following words. "A. B. +commonly called A. B. Esq.; a toupee, and a notorious impostor, who +presumed to personate a true Irish footman."</p> + +<p>And for any further offence the said toupee shall be committed to +Bridewell, whipped three times, forced to hard labour for a month, and +not be set at liberty, till he shall have given sufficient security for +his good behaviour.</p> + +<p>Your Honours will please to observe with what lenity we propose to treat +these enormous offenders, who have already brought such a scandal on our +honourable calling, that several well-meaning people have mistaken them +to be of our Fraternity; in diminution to that credit and dignity +wherewith we have supported our station, as we always did, in the <i>worst +of times</i>.<a name="FNanchor_183_183" id="FNanchor_183_183"></a><a href="#Footnote_183_183" class="fnanchor">[183]</a> And we further beg leave to remark, that this was +manifestly done with a seditious design, to render us less capable of +serving the public in any great employments, as several of our +Fraternity, as well as our ancestors have done.</p> + +<p>We do therefore humbly implore your Honours, to give necessary orders +for our relief, in this present exigency, and your Petitioners (as in +duty bound) shall ever pray, &c.</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dublin, 1733.</span></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ADVICE</h3> + +<h4>TO THE</h4> + +<h3>FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN,</h3> + +<h4>IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT.</h4> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Written in the Year</span> 1733.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Swift here argues that a holder of an office under the government +cannot, of necessity, be an honest representative of the people. +There were two candidates before the freemen for the suffrages of +the City, one, Lord Mayor French, and the other Mr. John Macarrell. +The latter was an office-holder; he was Register to the Barracks, +and received his salary from the government. It was not to be +expected that he would vote against his employer, be he never so +honest a man. Swift openly informs the freemen that the Drapier is +against this man. The Lord Mayor was elected.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The text of this "Advice" is based on that given in the eighth +volume of Swift's Collected Works, issued in 1746. The Forster +Collection contains a made-up booklet of pp. 196-205, taken from a +volume of one of the collected editions.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY<br />OF DUBLIN, IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER<br /> +TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT.</h3> + + +<p>Those few writers, who, since the death of Alderman Burton, have +employed their pens in giving advice to our citizens, how they should +proceed in electing a new representative for the next sessions, having +laid aside their pens, I have reason to hope, that all true lovers of +their country in general, and particularly those who have any regard for +the privileges and liberties of this great and ancient city, will think +a second, and a third time, before they come to a final determination +upon what person they resolve to fix their choice.</p> + +<p>I am told, there are only two persons who set up for candidates; one is +the present Lord Mayor,<a name="FNanchor_184_184" id="FNanchor_184_184"></a><a href="#Footnote_184_184" class="fnanchor">[184]</a> and the other, a gentleman of good esteem, +an alderman of the city, a merchant of reputation, and possessed of a +considerable office under the crown.<a name="FNanchor_185_185" id="FNanchor_185_185"></a><a href="#Footnote_185_185" class="fnanchor">[185]</a> The question is, which of +these two persons it will be most for the advantage of the city to +elect? I have but little acquaintance with either, so that my inquiries +will be very impartial, and drawn only from the general character and +situation of both.</p> + +<p>In order to this, I must offer my countrymen and fellow-citizens some +reasons why I think they ought to be more than ordinarily careful, at +this juncture, upon whom they bestow their votes.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</a></span></p><p>To perform this with more clearness, it may be proper to give you a +short state of our unfortunate country.</p> + +<p>We consist of two parties: I do not mean Popish and Protestant, High and +Low Church, Episcopal and Sectarians, Whig and Tory; but of these +English who happen to be born in this kingdom, (whose ancestors reduced +the whole nation under the obedience of the English crown,) and the +gentlemen sent from the other side to possess most of the chief +employments here. This latter party is very much enlarged and +strengthened by the whole power in the church, the law, the army, the +revenue, and the civil administration deposited in their hands; +although, out of political ends, and to save appearances, some +employments are still deposited (yet gradually in a smaller number) to +persons born here; this proceeding, fortified with good words and many +promises, is sufficient to flatter and feed the hopes of hundreds, who +will never be one farthing the better, as they might easily be +convinced, if they were qualified to think at all.</p> + +<p>Civil employments of all kinds have been for several years past, with +great prudence, made precarious, and during pleasure; by which means the +possessors are, and must inevitably be, for ever dependent; yet those +very few of any consequence, which are dealt with so sparing a hand to +persons born among us, are enough to keep hope alive in great numbers, +who desire to mend their condition by the favour of those in power.</p> + +<p>Now, my dear fellow-citizens, how is it possible you can conceive, that +any person, who holds an office of some hundred pounds a year, which may +be taken from him whenever power shall think fit, will, if he should be +chosen a member for any city, do the least thing, when he sits in the +house, that he knows or fears may be displeasing to those who gave him +or continue him in that office? Believe me, these are no times to expect +such an exalted degree of virtue from mortal men. Blazing stars are much +more frequently seen than such heroical worthies. And I could sooner +hope to find ten thousand pounds by digging in my garden, than such a +phœnix, by searching among the present race of mankind.</p> + +<p>I cannot forbear thinking it a very erroneous, as well as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</a></span> modern maxim +of politics, in the English nation, to take every opportunity of +depressing Ireland; whereof an hundred instances may be produced in +points of the highest importance, and within the memory of every +middle-aged man; although many of the greatest persons among that party +which now prevails, have formerly, upon that article, much differed in +their opinion from their present successors.</p> + +<p>But so the fact stands at present. It is plain that the court and +country party here, (I mean in the House of Commons,) very seldom agree +in anything but their loyalty to his present Majesty, their resolutions +to make him and his viceroy easy in the government, to the utmost of +their power, under the present condition of the kingdom. But the persons +sent from England, who (to a trifle) are possessed of the sole executive +power in all its branches, with their few adherents in possession who +were born here, and hundreds of expectants, hopers, and promissees, put +on quite contrary notions with regard to Ireland. They count upon a +universal submission to whatever shall be demanded; wherein they act +safely, because none of themselves, except the candidates, feel the +least of our pressures.</p> + +<p>I remember a person of distinction some days ago affirmed in a good deal +of mixed company, and of both parties, that the gentry from England, who +now enjoy our highest employments of all kinds, can never be possibly +losers of one farthing by the greatest calamities that can befall this +kingdom, except a plague that would sweep away a million of our hewers +of wood and drawers of water, or an invasion that would fright our +grandees out of the kingdom. For this person argued, that while there +was a penny left in the treasury, the civil and military list must be +paid; and that the Episcopal revenues, which are usually farmed out at +six times below the real value, could hardly fail. He insisted farther, +that as money diminished, the price of all necessaries for life must of +consequence do so too, which would be for the advantage of all persons +in employment, as well as of my lords the bishops, and to the ruin of +everybody else. Among the company there wanted not men in office, +besides one or two expectants; yet I did not observe any of them +disposed to return an answer; but the consequences<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</a></span> drawn were these: +That the great men in power sent hither from the other side, were by no +means upon the same foot with his Majesty's other subjects of Ireland; +they had no common ligament to bind them with us; they suffered not with +our sufferings; and if it were possible for us to have any cause of +rejoicing, they could not rejoice with us.</p> + +<p>Suppose a person, born in this kingdom, shall happen by his services for +the English interest to have an employment conferred on him worth four +hundred pounds a year; and that he hath likewise an estate in land worth +four hundred pounds a year more; suppose him to sit in Parliament; then, +suppose a land-tax to be brought in of five shillings a pound for ten +years; I tell you how this gentleman will compute. He hath four hundred +pounds a year in land: the tax he must pay yearly is one hundred pounds; +by which, in ten years, he will pay only a thousand pounds. But if he +gives his vote against this tax, he will lose four thousand pounds by +being turned out of his employment, together with the power and +influence he hath, by virtue or colour of his employment; and thus the +balance will be against him three thousand pounds.</p> + +<p>I desire, my fellow-citizens, you will please to call to mind how many +persons you can vouch for among your acquaintance, who have so much +virtue and self-denial as to lose four hundred pounds a year for life, +together with the smiles and favour of power, and the hopes of higher +advancement, merely out of a generous love of his country.</p> + +<p>The contentions of parties in England are very different from those +among us. The battle there is fought for power and riches; and so it is +indeed among us: but whether a great employment be given to Tom or to +Peter, they were both born in England, the profits are to be spent +there. All employments (except a very few) are bestowed on the natives; +they do not send to Germany, Holland, Sweden, or Denmark, much less to +Ireland, for chancellors, bishops, judges, or other officers. Their +salaries, whether well or ill got, are employed at home: and whatever +their morals or politics be, the nation is not the poorer.</p> + +<p>The House of Commons in England have frequently endeavoured to limit the +number of members, who should be allowed to have employments under the +Crown. Several<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</a></span> acts have been made to that purpose, which many wise men +think are not yet effectual enough, and many of them are rendered +ineffectual by leaving the power of re-election. Our House of Commons +consists, I think, of about three hundred members; if one hundred of +these should happen to be made up of persons already provided for, +joined with expecters, compliers easy to be persuaded, such as will give +a vote for a friend who is in hopes to get something; if they be merry +companions, without suspicion, of a natural bashfulness, not apt or able +to look forwards; if good words, smiles, and caresses, have any power +over them, the larger part of a second hundred may be very easily +brought in at a most reasonable rate.</p> + +<p>There is an Englishman<a name="FNanchor_186_186" id="FNanchor_186_186"></a><a href="#Footnote_186_186" class="fnanchor">[186]</a> of no long standing among us, but in an +employment of great trust, power, and profit. This excellent person did +lately publish, at his own expense, a pamphlet printed in England by +authority, to justify the bill for a general excise or inland duty, in +order to introduce that blessed scheme among us. What a tender care must +such an English patriot for Ireland have of our interest, if he should +condescend to sit in our Parliament! I will bridle my indignation. +However, methinks I long to see that mortal, who would with pleasure +blow us all up at a blast: but he duly receives his thousand pounds a +year; makes his progresses like a king; is received in pomp at every +town and village where he travels,<a name="FNanchor_187_187" id="FNanchor_187_187"></a><a href="#Footnote_187_187" class="fnanchor">[187]</a> and shines in the English +newspapers.</p> + +<p>I will now apply what I have said to you, my brethren and +fellow-citizens. Count upon it, as a truth next to your creed, that no +one person in office, of which he is not master for life, whether born +here or in England, will ever hazard that office for the good of this +country. One of your candidates is of this kind, and I believe him to be +an honest gentleman, as the word honest is generally understood. But he +loves his employment better than he doth you, or his country, or all the +countries upon earth. Will you contribute and give him city security to +pay him the value of his employment, if <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</a></span>it should be taken from him, +during his life, for voting on all occasions with the honest country +party in the House?—although I must question, whether he would do it +even upon that condition.</p> + +<p>Wherefore, since there are but two candidates, I entreat you will fix on +the present Lord Mayor. He hath shewn more virtue, more activity, more +skill, in one year's government of the city, than a hundred years can +equal. He hath endeavoured, with great success, to banish frauds, +corruptions, and all other abuses from amongst you.</p> + +<p>A dozen such men in power would be able to reform a kingdom. He hath no +employment under the Crown; nor is likely to get or solicit for any: his +education having not turned him that way. I will assure for no man's +future conduct; but he who hath hitherto practised the rules of virtue +with so much difficulty in so great and busy a station, deserves your +thanks, and the best return you can make him; and you, my brethren, have +no other to give him, than that of representing you in Parliament. Tell +me not of your engagements and promises to another: your promises were +sins of inconsideration, at best; and you are bound to repent and annul +them. That gentleman, although with good reputation, is already engaged +on the other side. He hath four hundred pounds a year under the Crown, +which he is too wise to part with, by sacrificing so good an +establishment to the empty names of virtue, and love of his country. I +can assure you, the <span class="smcap">Drapier</span> is in the interest of the present +Lord Mayor, whatever you may be told to the contrary. I have lately +heard him declare so in public company, and offer some of these very +reasons in defence of his opinion; although he hath a regard and esteem +for the other gentleman, but would not hazard the good of the city and +the kingdom for a compliment.</p> + +<p>The Lord Mayor's severity to some unfair dealers, should not turn the +honest men among them against him. Whatever he did, was for the +advantage of those very traders, whose dishonest members he punished. He +hath hitherto been above temptation to act wrong; and therefore, as +mankind goes, he is the most likely to act right as a representative of +your city, as he constantly did in the government of it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>SOME</h4> + +<h3>CONSIDERATIONS</h3> + +<p class='center'><span class="smcap">Humbly offered to the Right Honourable the Lord<br />Mayor, the Court of +Aldermen, and Common-Council<br /> of the Honourable City of Dublin</span>,</p> + +<h4>IN THE</h4> + +<h3>CHOICE OF A RECORDER.</h3> + +<p class='center'>1733.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</a></span></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>SOME CONSIDERATIONS IN THE<br /> +CHOICE OF A RECORDER.</h3> + +<p>The office of Recorder to this city being vacant by the death of a very +worthy gentleman,<a name="FNanchor_188_188" id="FNanchor_188_188"></a><a href="#Footnote_188_188" class="fnanchor">[188]</a> it is said, that five or six persons are +soliciting to succeed him in the employment. I am a stranger to all +their persons, and to most of their characters; which latter, I hope, +will at this time be canvassed with more decency than it sometimes +happeneth upon the like occasions. Therefore, as I am wholly impartial, +I can with more freedom deliver my thoughts how the several persons and +parties concerned ought to proceed in electing a Recorder for this great +and ancient city.</p> + +<p>And first, as it is a very natural, so I can by no means think it an +unreasonable opinion, that the sons or near relations of Aldermen, and +other deserving citizens, should be duly regarded as proper competitors +for an employment in the city's disposal, provided they be equally +qualified with other candidates; and provided that such employments +require no more than common abilities, and common honesty. But in the +choice of a Recorder, the case is entirely different. He ought to be a +person of good abilities in his calling; of an unspotted character; an +able practitioner; one who hath occasionally merited of this city +before; he ought to be of some maturity in years; a member of +Parliament, and likely to continue so; regular in his life; firm in his +loyalty to the Hanover succession; indulgent to tender consciences; but, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</a></span>at the same time, a firm adherer to the established church. If he be +such a one who hath already sat in Parliament, it ought to be inquired +of what weight he was there; whether he voted on all occasions for the +good of his country; and particularly for advancing the trade and +freedom of this city; whether he be engaged in any faction, either +national or religious; and, lastly, whether he be a man of courage, not +to be drawn from his duty by the frown or menaces of power, nor capable +to be corrupted by allurements or bribes.—These, and many other +particulars, are of infinitely more consequence, than that single +circumstance of being descended by a direct or collateral line from any +Alderman, or distinguished citizen, dead or alive.</p> + +<p>There is not a dealer or shopkeeper in this city, of any substance, +whose thriving, less or more, may not depend upon the good or ill +conduct of a Recorder. He is to watch every motion in Parliament that +may the least affect the freedom, trade, or welfare of it.</p> + +<p>In this approaching election, the commons, as they are a numerous body, +so they seem to be most concerned in point of interest; and their +interest ought to be most regarded, because it altogether dependeth upon +the true interest of the city. They have no private views; and giving +their votes, as I am informed, by balloting, they lie under no awe, or +fear of disobliging competitors. It is therefore hoped that they will +duly consider, which of the candidates is most likely to advance the +trade of themselves and their brother-citizens; to defend their +liberties, both in and out of Parliament, against all attempts of +encroachment or oppression. And so God direct them in the choice of a +Recorder, who may for many years supply that important office with +skill, diligence, courage, and fidelity. And let all the people say, +Amen.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</a></span></p> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</a></span></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>A PROPOSAL</h3> + +<h4>FOR GIVING</h4> + +<h2>BADGES</h2> + +<h4>TO THE</h4> + +<h2>BEGGARS</h2> + +<h4>IN ALL THE</h4> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Parishes</span> of <i>DUBLIN</i>.</h3> + +<h4>BY THE</h4> + +<h3>DEAN of St. <i>PATRICK's</i></h3> + + +<p class='center'><i>LONDON</i>,<br /> +Printed for <span class="smcap">T. Cooper</span> at the <i>Globe</i> in <i>Pater Noster Row</i>.<br /> +MDCCXXXVII.<br /> +Price Six Pence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_325" id="Page_325">[Pg 325]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_324" id="Page_324">[Pg 324]</a></span></p> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The "badging" of beggars was a favourite scheme of Swift's for the +better regulation of the many who infested the city of Dublin as +tramps and idlers. While many of these were really deserving +persons, there were a great many also who made the business of +begging a profession. Eleven years before this tract was printed +Swift wrote to Archbishop King on the same subject, as will be seen +from the letter quoted in the note on pages 326-327.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is based on the original edition of 1737 collated +with that given by Sir Walter Scott.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_323" id="Page_323">[Pg 323]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING BADGES<br />TO THE BEGGARS IN ALL THE<br />PARISHES OF +DUBLIN.</h3> + + +<p>It hath been a general complaint, that the poor-house, especially since +the new Constitution by Act of Parliament, hath been of no benefit to +this city, for the ease of which it was wholly intended. I had the +honour to be a member of it many years before it was new modelled by the +legislature, not from any personal regard, but merely as one of the two +deans, who are of course put into most commissions that relate to the +city; and I have likewise the honour to have been left out of several +commissions upon the score of party, in which my predecessors, time out +of mind, have always been members.</p> + +<p>The first commission was made up of about fifty persons, which were the +Lord Mayor, Aldermen, and Sheriffs, and some few other citizens; the +Judges, the two Archbishops, the two Deans of the city, and one or two +more gentlemen. And I must confess my opinion, that the dissolving the +old commission, and establishing a new one of nearly three times the +number, have been the great cause of rendering so good a design not only +useless, but a grievance instead of a benefit to the city. In the +present commission all the city clergy are included, besides a great +number of 'squires, not only those who reside in Dublin, and the +neighbourhood, but several who live at a great distance, and cannot +possibly have the least concern for the advantage of the city.</p> + +<p>At the few general meetings that I have attended since the new +Establishment, I observed very little was done, except one or two Acts +of extreme justice, which I then thought<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_326" id="Page_326">[Pg 326]</a></span> might as well have been +spared: and I have found the Court of Assistants usually taken up in +little brangles about coachmen, or adjusting accounts of meal and small +beer; which, however necessary, might sometimes have given place to +matters of much greater moment, I mean some schemes recommended to the +General Board, for answering the chief ends in erecting and establishing +such a poor-house, and endowing it with so considerable a revenue: and +the principal end I take to have been that of maintaining the poor and +orphans of the city, where the parishes are not able to do it; and +clearing the streets from all strollers, foreigners, and sturdy beggars, +with which, to the universal complaint and admiration, Dublin is more +infested since the Establishment of the poor-house, than it was ever +known to be since its first erection.</p> + +<p>As the whole fund for supporting this hospital is raised only from the +inhabitants of the city, so there can be hardly any thing more absurd, +than to see it mis-employed in maintaining foreign beggars and bastards, +or orphans, whose country landlords never contributed one shilling +towards their support. I would engage, that half this revenue, if +employed with common care, and no very great degree of common honesty, +would maintain all the real objects of charity in this city, except a +small number of original poor in every parish, who might, without being +burthensome to the parishioners, find a tolerable support.</p> + +<p>I have for some years past applied myself to several Lord Mayors, and to +the late Archbishop of Dublin<a name="FNanchor_189_189" id="FNanchor_189_189"></a><a href="#Footnote_189_189" class="fnanchor">[189]</a>, for a remedy to this evil of foreign +beggars; and they all appeared ready to receive a very plain proposal, I +mean, that of badging the original poor of every parish, who begged in +the streets;<a name="FNanchor_190_190" id="FNanchor_190_190"></a><a href="#Footnote_190_190" class="fnanchor">[190]</a> <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_327" id="Page_327">[Pg 327]</a></span> that the said beggars should be confined to their own parishes; that, +they should wear their badges well sewn upon one of their shoulders, +always visible, on pain of being whipped and turned out of town; or +whatever legal punishment may be thought proper and effectual. But, by +the wrong way of thinking in some clergymen, and the indifference of +others, this method was perpetually defeated, to their own continual +disquiet, which they do not ill deserve; and if the grievance affected +only them, it would be of less consequence, because the remedy is in +their own power. But all street-walkers, and shopkeepers bear an equal +share in this hourly vexation.</p> + +<p>I never heard more than one objection against this ex<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_328" id="Page_328">[Pg 328]</a></span>pedient of badging +the poor, and confining their walks to their several parishes. The +objection was this: What shall we do with the foreign beggars? Must they +be left to starve? I answered, No; but they must be driven or whipped +out of town; and let the next country parish do as they please; or +rather after the practice in England, send them from one parish to +another, until they reach their own homes. By the old laws of England +still in force, and I presume by those of Ireland, every parish is bound +to maintain its own poor; and the matter is of no such consequence in +this point as some would make it, whether a country parish be rich or +poor. In the remoter and poorer parishes of the kingdom, all necessaries +for life proper for poor people are comparatively cheaper; I mean +butter-milk, oatmeal, potatoes, and other vegetables; and every farmer +or cottager, who is not himself a beggar, can sometimes spare a sup or a +morsel, not worth the fourth part of a farthing, to an indigent +neighbour of his own parish, who is disabled from work. A beggar native +of the parish is known to the 'squire, to the church minister, to the +popish priest, or the conventicle teachers, as well as to every farmer: +he hath generally some relations able to live, and contribute something +to his maintenance. None of which advantages can be reasonably expected +on a removal to places where he is altogether unknown. If he be not +quite maimed, he and his trull, and litter of brats (if he hath any) may +get half their support by doing some kind of work in their power, and +thereby be less burthensome to the people. In short, all necessaries of +life grow in the country, and not in cities, and are cheaper where they +grow; nor is it equal, that beggars should put us to the charge of +giving them victuals, and the carriage too.</p> + +<p>But, when the spirit of wandering takes him, attended by his female, and +their equipage of children, he becomes a nuisance to the whole country: +he and his female are thieves, and teach the trade of stealing to their +brood at four years old; and if his infirmities be counterfeit, it is +dangerous for a single person unarmed to meet him on the road. He +wanders from one county to another, but still with a view to this town, +whither he arrives at last, and enjoys all the privileges of a Dublin +beggar.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_329" id="Page_329">[Pg 329]</a></span></p> + +<p>I do not wonder that the country 'squires should be very willing to send +up their colonies; but why the city should be content to receive them, +is beyond my imagination.</p> + +<p>If the city were obliged by their charter to maintain a thousand +beggars, they could do it cheaper by eighty <i>per cent.</i> a hundred miles +off, than in this town, or any of its suburbs.</p> + +<p>There is no village in Connaught, that in proportion shares so deeply in +the daily increasing miseries of Ireland, as its capital city; to which +miseries there hardly remained any addition, except the perpetual swarms +of foreign beggars, who might be banished in a month without expense, +and with very little trouble.</p> + +<p>As I am personally acquainted with a great number of street beggars, I +find some weak attempts to have been made in one or two parishes to +promote the wearing of badges; and my first question to those who ask an +alms, is, <i>Where is your badge?</i> I have in several years met with about +a dozen who were ready to produce them, some out of their pockets, +others from under their coat, and two or three on their shoulders, only +covered with a sort of capes which they could lift up or let down upon +occasion. They are too lazy to work, they are not afraid to steal, nor +ashamed to beg; and yet are too proud to be seen with a badge, as many +of them have confessed to me, and not a few in very injurious terms, +particularly the females. They all look upon such an obligation as a +high indignity done to their office. I appeal to all indifferent people, +whether such wretches deserve to be relieved. As to myself, I must +confess, this absurd insolence hath so affected me, that for several +years past, I have not disposed of one single farthing to a street +beggar, nor intend to do so, until I see a better regulation; and I have +endeavoured to persuade all my brother-walkers to follow my example, +which most of them assure me they do. For, if beggary be not able to +beat out pride, it cannot deserve charity. However, as to persons in +coaches and chairs, they bear but little of the persecution we suffer, +and are willing to leave it entirely upon us.</p> + +<p>To say the truth, there is not a more undeserving vicious<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_330" id="Page_330">[Pg 330]</a></span> race of human +kind than the bulk of those who are reduced to beggary, even in this +beggarly country. For, as a great part of our publick miseries is +originally owing to our own faults (but, what those faults are I am +grown by experience too wary to mention) so I am confident, that among +the meaner people, nineteen in twenty of those who are reduced to a +starving condition, did not become so by what lawyers call the work of +<span class="smcap">God</span>, either upon their bodies or goods; but merely from their +own idleness, attended with all manner of vices, particularly +drunkenness, thievery, and cheating.</p> + +<p>Whoever enquires, as I have frequently done, from those who have asked +me an alms; what was their former course of life, will find them to have +been servants in good families, broken tradesmen, labourers, cottagers, +and what they call decayed house-keepers; but (to use their own cant) +reduced by losses and crosses, by which nothing can be understood but +idleness and vice.</p> + +<p>As this is the only Christian country where people contrary to the old +maxim, are the poverty and not the riches of the nation, so, the +blessing of increase and multiply is by us converted into a curse; and, +as marriage hath been ever countenanced in all free countries, so we +should be less miserable if it were discouraged in ours, as far as can +be consistent with Christianity. It is seldom known in England, that the +labourer, the lower mechanick, the servant, or the cottager thinks of +marrying until he hath saved up a stock of money sufficient to carry on +his business; nor takes a wife without a suitable portion; and as seldom +fails of making a yearly addition to that stock, with a view of +providing for his children. But, in this kingdom, the case is directly +contrary, where many thousand couples are yearly married, whose whole +united fortunes, bating the rags on their backs, would not be sufficient +to purchase a pint of butter-milk for their wedding supper, nor have any +prospect of supporting their <i>honourable state</i>, but by service, or +labour, or thievery. Nay, their <i>happiness</i> is often deferred until they +find credit to borrow, or cunning to steal a shilling to pay their +Popish priest, or infamous couple-beggar. Surely no miraculous portion +of wisdom would be required to find some kind of remedy against<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_331" id="Page_331">[Pg 331]</a></span> this +destructive evil, or at least, not to draw the consequences of it upon +our decaying city; the greatest part whereof must of course in a few +years become desolate, or in ruins.</p> + +<p>In all other nations, that are not absolutely barbarous, parents think +themselves bound by the law of nature and reason to make some provision +for their children; but the reasons offered by the inhabitants of +Ireland for marrying is, that they may have children to maintain them +when they grow old and unable to work.</p> + +<p>I am informed that we have been for some time past extremely obliged to +England for one very beneficial branch of commerce: for, it seems they +are grown so gracious as to transmit us continually colonies of beggars, +in return of a million of money they receive yearly from hence. That I +may give no offence, I profess to mean real English beggars in the +literal meaning of the word, as it is usually understood by protestants. +It seems, the Justices of the Peace and parish officers in the western +coasts of England, have a good while followed the trade of exporting +hither their supernumerary beggars, in order to advance the English +Protestant interest among us; and, these they are so kind to send over +<i>gratis</i>, and duty free. I have had the honour more than once to attend +large cargoes of them from Chester to Dublin: and I was then so ignorant +as to give my opinion, that our city should receive them into +<i>bridewell</i>, and after a month's residence, having been well whipped +twice a day, fed with bran and water, and put to hard labour, they +should be returned honestly back with thanks as cheap as they came: or, +if that were not approved of, I proposed, that whereas one English man +is allowed to be of equal intrinsic value with twelve born in Ireland, +we should in justice return them a dozen for one, to dispose of as they +pleased. But to return.</p> + +<p>As to the native poor of this city, there would be little or no damage +in confining them to their several parishes. For instance; a beggar of +the parish of St. Warborough's,<a name="FNanchor_191_191" id="FNanchor_191_191"></a><a href="#Footnote_191_191" class="fnanchor">[191]</a> or any other parish here, if he be +an object of compassion, hath an equal chance to receive his proportion +of alms <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_332" id="Page_332">[Pg 332]</a></span>from every charitable hand; because the inhabitants, one or +other, walk through every street in town, and give their alms, without +considering the place, wherever they think it may be well disposed of: +and these helps, added to what they get in eatables by going from house +to house among the gentry and citizens, will, without being very +burthensome, be sufficient to keep them alive.</p> + +<p>It is true, the poor of the suburb parishes will not have altogether the +same advantage, because they are not equally in the road of business and +passengers: but here it is to be considered, that the beggars there have +not so good a title to publick charity, because most of them are +strollers from the country, and compose a principal part of that great +nuisance, which we ought to remove.</p> + +<p>I should be apt to think, that few things can be more irksome to a city +minister, than a number of beggars which do not belong to his district, +whom he hath no obligation to take care of, who are no part of his +flock, and who take the bread out of the mouths of those, to whom it +properly belongs. When I mention this abuse to any minister of a +city-parish, he usually lays the fault upon the beadles, who he says are +bribed by the foreign beggars; and, as those beadles often keep +ale-houses, they find their account in such customers. This evil might +easily be remedied, if the parishes would make some small addition to +the salaries of a beadle, and be more careful in the choice of those +officers. But, I conceive there is one effectual method, in the power of +every minister to put in practice; I mean, by making it the interest of +all his own original poor, to drive out intruders: for, if the +parish-beggars were absolutely forbidden by the minister and +church-officers, to suffer strollers to come into the parish, upon pain +of themselves not being permitted to beg alms at the church-doors, or at +the houses and shops of the inhabitants; they would prevent interlopers +more effectually than twenty beadles.</p> + +<p>And, here I cannot but take notice of the great indiscretion in our +city-shopkeepers, who suffer their doors to be daily besieged by crowds +of beggars, (as the gates of a lord are by duns,) to the great disgust +and vexation of many customers, whom I have frequently observed to go to +other shops, rather than suffer such a persecution; which might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_333" id="Page_333">[Pg 333]</a></span> easily +be avoided, if no foreign beggars were allowed to infest them.</p> + +<p>Wherefore, I do assert, that the shopkeepers, who are the greatest +complainers of this grievance, lamenting that for every customer, they +are worried by fifty beggars, do very well deserve what they suffer, +when a 'prentice with a horse-whip is able to lash every beggar from the +shop, who is not of the parish, and does not wear the badge of that +parish on his shoulder, well fastened and fairly visible; and if this +practice were universal in every house to all the sturdy vagrants, we +should in a few weeks clear the town of all mendicants, except those who +have a proper title to our charity: as for the aged and infirm, it would +be sufficient to give them nothing, and then they must starve or follow +their brethren.</p> + +<p>It was the city that first endowed this hospital, and those who +afterwards contributed, as they were such who generally inhabited here; +so they intended what they gave to be for the use of the city's poor. +The revenues which have since been raised by parliament, are wholly paid +by the city, without the least charge upon any other part of the +kingdom; and therefore nothing could more defeat the original design, +than to misapply those revenues on strolling beggars, or bastards from +the country, which bear no share in the charges we are at.</p> + +<p>If some of the out-parishes be overburthened with poor, the reason must +be, that the greatest part of those poor are strollers from the country, +who nestle themselves where they can find the cheapest lodgings, and +from thence infest every part of the town, out of which they ought to be +whipped as a most insufferable nuisance, being nothing else but a +profligate clan of thieves, drunkards, heathens, and whore-mongers, +fitter to be rooted out of the face of the earth, than suffered to levy +a vast annual tax upon the city, which shares too deep in the public +miseries, brought on us by the oppressions we lye under from our +neighbours, our brethren, our countrymen, our fellow protestants, and +fellow subjects.</p> + +<p>Some time ago I was appointed one of a committee to inquire into the +state of the workhouse; where we found that a charity was bestowed by a +great person for a certain<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_334" id="Page_334">[Pg 334]</a></span> time, which in its consequences operated +very much to the detriment of the house: for, when the time was elapsed, +all those who were supported by that charity, continued on the same foot +with the rest of the foundation; and being generally a pack of +profligate vagabond wretches from several parts of the kingdom, +corrupted all the rest; so partial, or treacherous, or interested, or +ignorant, or mistaken are generally all recommenders, not only to +employments, but even to charity itself.</p> + +<p>I know it is complained, that the difficulty of driving foreign beggars +out of the city is charged upon the <i>bellowers</i> (as they are called) who +find their accounts best in suffering those vagrants to follow their +trade through every part of the town. But this abuse might easily be +remedied, and very much to the advantage of the whole city, if better +salaries were given to those who execute that office in the several +parishes, and would make it their interest to clear the town of those +caterpillars, rather than hazard the loss of an employment that would +give them an honest livelyhood. But, if that would fail, yet a general +resolution of never giving charity to a street beggar out of his own +parish, or without a visible badge, would infallibly force all vagrants +to depart.</p> + +<p>There is generally a vagabond spirit in beggars, which ought to be +discouraged and severely punished. It is owing to the same causes that +drove them into poverty; I mean, idleness, drunkenness, and rash +marriages without the least prospect of supporting a family by honest +endeavours, which never came into their thoughts. It is observed, that +hardly one beggar in twenty looks upon himself to be relieved by +receiving bread or other food; and they have in this town been +frequently seen to pour out of their pitcher good broth that hath been +given them, into the kennel; neither do they much regard clothes, unless +to sell them; for their rags are part of their tools with which they +work: they want only ale, brandy, and other strong liquors, which cannot +be had without money; and, money as they conceive, always abounds in the +metropolis.</p> + +<p>I had some other thoughts to offer upon this subject. But, as I am a +desponder in my nature, and have tolerably well discovered the +disposition of our people, who never will<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_335" id="Page_335">[Pg 335]</a></span> move a step towards easing +themselves from any one single grievance; it will be thought, that I +have already said too much, and to little or no purpose; which hath +often been the fate, or fortune of the writer,</p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">J. Swift.</span></p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">April 22,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">1737.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_337" id="Page_337">[Pg 337]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_336" id="Page_336">[Pg 336]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>CONSIDERATIONS</h4> + +<h3>ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_338" id="Page_338">[Pg 338]</a></span></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>The text of this short paper is taken from Deane Swift's edition, +which was followed by Sir Walter Scott.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_339" id="Page_339">[Pg 339]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CONSIDERATIONS ABOUT MAINTAINING<br />THE POOR.</h3> + + +<p>We have been amused, for at least thirty years past, with numberless +schemes, in writing and discourse, both in and out of Parliament, for +maintaining the poor, and setting them to work, especially in this city: +most of which were idle, indigested, or visionary; and all of them +ineffectual, as it has plainly appeared by the consequences. Many of +those projectors were so stupid, that they drew a parallel from Holland +to England, to be settled in Ireland; that is to say, from two countries +with full freedom and encouragement for trade, to a third where all kind +of trade is cramped, and the most beneficial parts are entirely taken +away. But the perpetual infelicity of false and foolish reasoning, as +well as proceeding and acting upon it, seems to be fatal to this +country.</p> + +<p>For my own part, who have much conversed with those folks who call +themselves merchants, I do not remember to have met with a more ignorant +and wrong-thinking race of people in the very first rudiments of trade; +which, however, was not so much owing to their want of capacity, as to +the crazy constitution of this kingdom, where pedlars are better +qualified to thrive than the wisest merchants. I could fill a volume +with only setting down a list of the public absurdities, by which this +kingdom has suffered within the compass of my own memory, such as could +not be believed of any nation, among whom folly was not established as a +law. I cannot forbear instancing a few of these, because it may be of +some use to those who shall have it in their power to be more cautious +for the future.</p> + +<p>The first was, the building of the barracks; whereof I have seen above +one-half, and have heard enough of the rest, to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_340" id="Page_340">[Pg 340]</a></span> affirm that the public +has been cheated of at least two-thirds of the money raised for that +use, by the plain fraud of the undertakers.</p> + +<p>Another was the management of the money raised for the Palatines; when, +instead of employing that great sum in purchasing lands in some remote +and cheap part of the kingdom, and there planting those people as a +colony, the whole end was utterly defeated.</p> + +<p>A third is, the insurance office against fire, by which several thousand +pounds are yearly remitted to England, (a trifle, it seems, we can +easily spare,) and will gradually increase until it comes to a good +national tax: for the society-marks upon our houses (under which might +properly be written, "The Lord have mercy upon us!") spread faster and +farther than the colony of frogs.<a name="FNanchor_192_192" id="FNanchor_192_192"></a><a href="#Footnote_192_192" class="fnanchor">[192]</a> I have, for above twenty years +past, given warning several thousand times to many substantial people, +and to such who are acquainted with lords and squires, and the like +great folks, to any of whom I have not the honour to be known: I +mentioned my daily fears, lest our watchful friends in England might +take this business out of our hands; and how easy it would be to prevent +that evil, by erecting a society of persons who had good estates, such, +for instance, as that noble knot of bankers, under the style of "Swift +and Company." But now we are become tributary to England, not only for +materials to light our own fires, but for engines to put them out; to +which, if hearth-money be added, (repealed in England as a grievance,) +we have the honour to pay three taxes for fire.</p> + +<p>A fourth was the knavery of those merchants, or linen-manufacturers, or +both, when, upon occasion of the plague <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_341" id="Page_341">[Pg 341]</a></span>at Marseilles, we had a fair +opportunity of getting into our hands the whole linen-trade of Spain; +but the commodity was so bad, and held at so high a rate, that almost +the whole cargo was returned, and the small remainder sold below the +prime cost.</p> + +<p>So many other particulars of the same nature crowd into my thoughts, +that I am forced to stop; and the rather because they are not very +proper for my subject, to which I shall now return.</p> + +<p>Among all the schemes for maintaining the poor of the city, and setting +them to work, the least weight has been laid upon that single point +which is of the greatest importance; I mean, that of keeping foreign +beggars from swarming hither out of every part of the country; for, +until this be brought to pass effectually, all our wise reasonings and +proceedings upon them will be vain and ridiculous.</p> + +<p>The prodigious number of beggars throughout this kingdom, in proportion +to so small a number of people, is owing to many reasons: to the +laziness of the natives; the want of work to employ them; the enormous +rents paid by cottagers for their miserable cabins and potatoe-plots; +their early marriages, without the least prospect of establishment; the +ruin of agriculture, whereby such vast numbers are hindered from +providing their own bread, and have no money to purchase it; the mortal +damp upon all kinds of trade, and many other circumstances, too tedious +or invidious to mention.</p> + +<p>And to the same causes we owe the perpetual concourse of foreign beggars +to this town, the country landlords giving all assistance, except money +and victuals, to drive from their estates those miserable creatures they +have undone.</p> + +<p>It was a general complaint against the poor-house, under its former +governors, "That the number of poor in this city did not lessen by +taking three hundred into the house, and all of them recommended under +the minister's and churchwardens' hands of the several parishes": and +this complaint must still continue, although the poor-house should be +enlarged to contain three thousand, or even double that number.</p> + +<p>The revenues of the poor-house, as it is now established, amount to +about two thousand pounds a-year; whereof two<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_342" id="Page_342">[Pg 342]</a></span> hundred allowed for +officers, and one hundred for repairs, the remaining seventeen hundred, +at four pounds a-head, will support four hundred and twenty-five +persons. This is a favourable allowance, considering that I subtract +nothing for the diet of those officers, and for wear and tear of +furniture; and if every one of these collegiates should be set to work, +it is agreed they will not be able to gain by their labour above +one-fourth part of their maintenance.</p> + +<p>At the same time, the oratorial part of these gentlemen seldom vouchsafe +to mention fewer than fifteen hundred or two thousand people, to be +maintained in this hospital, without troubling their heads about the +fund. * * * *<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_343" id="Page_343">[Pg 343]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>ON BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS<br /> +IN IRELAND.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_345" id="Page_345">[Pg 345]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_344" id="Page_344">[Pg 344]</a></span></h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>I have been lately looking over the advertisements in some of your +Dublin newspapers, which are sent me to the country, and was much +entertained with a large list of denominations of lands, to be sold or +let. I am confident they must be genuine; for it is impossible that +either chance or modern invention could sort the alphabet in such a +manner as to make those abominable sounds; whether first invented to +invoke or fright away the devil, I must leave among the curious.</p> + +<p>If I could wonder at anything barbarous, ridiculous, or absurd, among +us, this should be one of the first. I have often lamented that +Agricola, the father-in-law of Tacitus, was not prevailed on by that +petty king from Ireland, who followed his camp, to come over and +civilize us with a conquest, as his countrymen did Britain, where +several Roman appellations remain to this day, and so would the rest +have done, if that inundation of Angles, Saxons, and other northern +people, had not changed them so much for the worse, although in no +comparison with ours. In one of the advertisements just mentioned, I +encountered near a hundred words together, which I defy any creature in +human shape, except an Irishman of the savage kind, to pronounce; +neither would I undertake such a task, to be owner of the lands, unless +I had liberty to humanize the syllables twenty miles round. The +legislature may think what they please, and that they are above copying +the Romans in all their conquests of barbarous nations; but I am +deceived, if anything has more contributed to prevent the Irish from +being tamed, than this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_346" id="Page_346">[Pg 346]</a></span> encouragement of their language, which might be +easily abolished, and become a dead one in half an age, with little +expense, and less trouble.</p> + +<p>How is it possible that a gentleman who lives in those parts where the +<i>town-lands</i> (as they call them) of his estate produce such odious +sounds from the mouth, the throat, and the nose, can be able to repeat +the words without dislocating every muscle that is used in speaking, and +without applying the same tone to all other words, in every language he +understands; as it is plainly to be observed not only in those people of +the better sort who live in Galway and the Western parts, but in most +counties of Ireland?</p> + +<p>It is true, that, in the city parts of London, the trading people have +an affected manner of pronouncing; and so, in my time, had many ladies +and coxcombs at Court. It is likewise true, that there is an odd +provincial cant in most counties in England, sometimes not very pleasing +to the ear; and the Scotch cadence, as well as expression, are offensive +enough. But none of these defects derive contempt to the speaker: +whereas, what we call the <i>Irish brogue</i> is no sooner discovered, than +it makes the deliverer in the last degree ridiculous and despised; and, +from such a mouth, an Englishman expects nothing but bulls, blunders, +and follies. Neither does it avail whether the censure be reasonable or +not, since the fact is always so. And, what is yet worse, it is too well +known, that the bad consequence of this opinion affects those among us +who are not the least liable to such reproaches, farther than the +misfortune of being born in Ireland, although of English parents, and +whose education has been chiefly in that kingdom.</p> + +<p>I have heard many gentlemen among us talk much of the great convenience +to those who live in the country, that they should speak Irish. It may +possibly be so; but I think they should be such who never intend to +visit England, upon pain of being ridiculous; for I do not remember to +have heard of any one man that spoke Irish, who had not the accent upon +his tongue easily discernible to any English ear.</p> + +<p>But I have wandered a little from my subject, which was only to propose +a wish that these execrable denominations were a little better suited to +an English mouth, if it were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_347" id="Page_347">[Pg 347]</a></span> only for the sake of the English lawyers; +who, in trials upon appeals to the House of Lords, find so much +difficulty in repeating the names, that, if the plaintiff or defendant +were by, they would never be able to discover which were their own +lands. But, besides this, I would desire, not only that the appellations +of what they call <i>town-lands</i> were changed, but likewise of larger +districts, and several towns, and some counties; and particularly the +seats of country-gentlemen, leaving an <i>alias</i> to solve all difficulties +in point of law. But I would by no means trust these alterations to the +owners themselves; who, as they are generally no great clerks, so they +seem to have no large vocabulary about them, nor to be well skilled in +prosody. The utmost extent of their genius lies in naming their country +habitation by a hill, a mount, a brook, a burrow, a castle, a bawn, a +ford, and the like ingenious conceits. Yet these are exceeded by others, +whereof some have contrived anagramatical appellations, from half their +own and their wives' names joined together: others only from the lady; +as, for instance, a person whose wife's name was Elizabeth, calls his +seat by the name of <i>Bess-borow</i>. There is likewise a famous town, where +the worst iron in the kingdom is made, and it is called <i>Swandlingbar</i>: +the original of which name I shall explain, lest the antiquaries of +future ages might be at a loss to derive it. It was a most witty conceit +of four gentlemen, who ruined themselves with this iron project. <i>Sw.</i> +stands for <i>Swift</i>,<a name="FNanchor_193_193" id="FNanchor_193_193"></a><a href="#Footnote_193_193" class="fnanchor">[193]</a> <i>And.</i> for <i>Sanders</i>, <i>Ling</i> for <i>Davling</i> and +<i>Bar.</i> for <i>Barry</i>. Methinks I see the four loggerheads sitting in +consult, like <i>Smectymnuus</i>, each gravely contributing a part of his own +name, to make up one for their place in the ironwork; and could wish +they had been hanged, as well as undone, for their wit. But I was most +pleased with the denomination of a town-land, which I lately saw in an +advertisement of Pue's paper: "This is to give notice, that the lands of +<i>Douras, alias</i> <span class="smcap">Whig</span>-<i>borough</i>," &c. Now, this zealous +proprietor, having a mind to record his principles in religion or +loyalty to future ages, within five miles round him, for want of other +merit, thought fit to make use of this expedient: wherein he <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_348" id="Page_348">[Pg 348]</a></span>seems to +mistake his account; for this distinguishing term, whig, had a most +infamous original, denoting a man who favoured the fanatic sect, and an +enemy to kings, and so continued till this idea was a little softened, +some years after the Revolution, and during a part of her late Majesty's +reign. After which it was in disgrace until the Queen's death, since +which time it hath indeed flourished with a witness: But how long will +it continue so, in our variable scene, or what kind of mortal it may +describe, is a question which this courtly landlord is not able to +answer; and therefore he should have set a date on the title of his +borough, to let us know what kind of a creature a whig was in that year +of our Lord. I would readily assist nomenclators of this costive +imagination, and therefore I propose to others of the same size in +thinking, that, when they are at a loss about christening a +country-seat, instead of straining their invention, they would call it +<i>Booby-borough, Fool-brook, Puppy-ford, Coxcomb-hall, Mount-loggerhead, +Dunce-hill</i>; which are innocent appellations, proper to express the +talents of the owners. But I cannot reconcile myself to the prudence of +this lord of <span class="smcap">Whig</span>-<i>borough</i>, because I have not yet heard, +among the Presbyterian squires, how much soever their persons and +principles are in vogue, that any of them have distinguished their +country abode by the name of <i>Mount-regicide, Covenant-hall, +Fanatic-hill, Roundhead-bawn, Canting-brook</i>, or <i>Mont-rebel</i>, and the +like; because there may probably come a time when those kind of sounds +may not be so grateful to the ears of the kingdom. For I do not conceive +it would be a mark of discretion, upon supposing a gentleman, in +allusion to his name, or the merit of his ancestors, to call his house +<i>Tyburn-hall</i>.</p> + +<p>But the scheme I would propose for changing the denominations of land +into legible and audible syllables, is by employing some gentlemen in +the University; who, by the knowledge of the Latin tongue, and their +judgment in sounds, might imitate the Roman way, by translating those +hideous words into their English meanings, and altering the termination +where a bare translation will not form a good cadence to the ear, or be +easily delivered from the mouth. And, when both those means happen to +fail, then to name the parcels of land from the nature of the soil, or +some peculiar circum<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_349" id="Page_349">[Pg 349]</a></span>stance belonging to it; as, in England, <i>Farn-ham, +Oat-lands, Black-heath, Corn-bury, Rye-gate, Ash-burnham, Barn-elms, +Cole-orton, Sand-wich</i>, and many others.</p> + +<p>I am likewise apt to quarrel with some titles of lords among us, that +have a very ungracious sound, which are apt to communicate mean ideas to +those who have not the honour to be acquainted with their persons or +their virtues, of whom I have the misfortune to be one. But I cannot +pardon those gentlemen who have gotten titles since the judicature of +the peers among us has been taken away, to which they all submitted with +a resignation that became good Christians, as undoubtedly they are. +However, since that time, I look upon a graceful harmonious title to be +at least forty <i>per cent.</i> in the value intrinsic of an Irish peerage; +and, since it is as cheap as the worst, for any Irish law hitherto +enacted in England to the contrary, I would advise the next set, before +they pass their patents, to call a consultation of scholars and musical +gentlemen, to adjust this most important and essential circumstance. The +Scotch noblemen, though born almost under the north pole, have much more +tunable appellations, except some very few, which I suppose were given +them by the Irish along with their language, at the time when that +kingdom was conquered and planted from hence; and to this day retain the +denominations of places, and surnames of families, as all historians +agree.<a name="FNanchor_194_194" id="FNanchor_194_194"></a><a href="#Footnote_194_194" class="fnanchor">[194]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_350" id="Page_350">[Pg 350]</a></span></p> + +<p>I should likewise not be sorry, if the names of some bishops' sees were +so much obliged to the alphabet, that upon pronouncing them we might +contract some veneration for the order and persons of those reverend +peers, which the gross ideas sometimes joined to their titles are very +unjustly apt to diminish.</p> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_351" id="Page_351">[Pg 351]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>SPEECH DELIVERED BY DEAN SWIFT</h3> + +<h4>TO AN ASSEMBLY OF MERCHANTS MET AT THE GUILDHALL,<br /> +TO DRAW UP A PETITION TO THE LORD LIEUTENANT<br /> +ON THE LOWERING OF COIN, APRIL 24TH, 1736.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_353" id="Page_353">[Pg 353]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_352" id="Page_352">[Pg 352]</a></span></h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Writing to Sheridan, under date April 24th, 1736, in a letter +written partly by herself and partly by Swift, Mrs. Whiteway, +Swift's housekeeper, refers to the occasion of this speech in the +following words:</p> + +<p>"The Drapier went this day to the Tholsel<a name="FNanchor_195_195" id="FNanchor_195_195"></a><a href="#Footnote_195_195" class="fnanchor">[195]</a> as a merchant, to +sign a petition to the government against lowering the gold, where +we hear he made a long speech, for which he will be reckoned a +Jacobite. God send hanging does not go round." (Scott's edition, +vol. xviii., p. 470. 1824.)</p> + +<p>The occasion for this agitation against the lowering of the gold +arose thus. Archbishop Boulter had, for a long time, been much +concerned about the want of small silver in Ireland. The subject +seemed to weigh on him greatly, since he refers to it again and +again in his correspondence with Carteret, Newcastle, Dorset, and +Walpole. On May 25th, 1736, he wrote to Walpole to inform him that +the Lord Lieutenant had taken with him to England "an application +from the government for lowering the gold made current here, by +proclamation, and raising the foreign silver." Silver, being +scarce, bankers and tradesmen were accustomed to charge a premium +for the changing of gold, as much as sixpence and sevenpence in the +pound sterling being obtained. (See Boulter's "Letters," vol. ii., +p. 122. Dublin, 1770.)</p> + +<p>There was no question about the benefit of Boulter's scheme in the +minds of the two Houses of Commons and Lords: Swift, however, +opposed it vehemently, because he thought the advantage to be +obtained by this lowering of the gold would accrue to the +absentees. In 1687 James had issued a proclamation by which an +English shilling was made the equivalent of thirteen pence in +Ireland, and an English guinea to twenty-four shillings. Primate +Boulter's object (gained by the proclamation of the order on +September 29th, 1737) was to reduce the value of the guinea from +twenty-three shillings (at which it then stood) to £1 2<i>s.</i> 9<i>d.</i> +Swift, thinks Monck Mason, considered the absentees would benefit +by this "from the circumstances of the reserved rents, being +expressed in the imaginary coin, called a pound, but actually paid +in guineas, when the value of guineas was lowered, it required a +proportionately greater number to make up a specific sum" ("History +of St. Patrick's," p. 401, note c.)</p> + +<p>Swift, as he wrote to Sheridan, "battled in vain with the duke and +his clan." He thought it "just a kind of settlement upon England of +£25,000 a year for ever; yet some of my friends," he goes on to +say, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_354" id="Page_354">[Pg 354]</a></span>"differ from me, though all agree that the absentees will be +just so much gainers." (Letter of date May 22nd, 1737.)</p> + +<p>In a note to Boulter's letter to the Duke of Newcastle (September +29th, 1737) the editor of those letters (Ambrose Phillips) remarks: +"Such a spirit of opposition had been raised on this occasion by +Dean Swift and the bankers, that it was thought proper to lodge at +the Primate's house, an extraordinary guard of soldiers." This, +probably, was after the open exchange of words between Boulter and +Swift. The Primate had accused Swift of inflaming the minds of the +people, and hinted broadly that he might incur the displeasure of +the government. "I inflame them!" retorted Swift, "had I but lifted +my finger, they would have torn you to pieces." The day of the +proclaiming of the order for the lowering of the gold was marked by +Swift with the display of a black flag from the steeple of St. +Patrick's, and the tolling of muffled bells, a piece of conduct +which Boulter called an insult to the government.</p> + +<p>It is <i>à propos</i> to record here the revenge Swift took on Boulter +for the accusation of inflaming the people. The incident was put by +him into the following verse:</p> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="POEM WRITTEN BY SWIFT ON BOULTER"> +<tr><td align='left'>"At Dublin's high feast sat primate and dean,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Both dressed like divines, with hand and face clean:</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Quoth Hugh of Armagh, 'the mob is grown bold.'</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>'Ay, ay,' quoth the Dean, 'the cause is old gold.'</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>'No, no,' quoth the primate, 'if causes we sift,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The mischief arises from witty Dean Swift.'</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The smart one replies, 'There's no wit in the case;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>And nothing of that ever troubled your grace.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Though with your state sieve your own motions you s—t,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>A Boulter by name is no bolter of wit.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>It's matter of weight, and a mere money job;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But the lower the coin, the higher the mob.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Go to tell your friend Bob and the other great folk,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>That sinking the coin is a dangerous joke.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>The Irish dear joys have enough common sense,</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>To treat gold reduced like Wood's copper pence.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>It's pity a prelate should die without law;</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>But if I say the word—take care of Armagh!"</td></tr> +</table></div><br /> + + +<p>With the lowering of the gold the Primate imported £2,000 worth of +copper money for Irish consumption. Swift was most indignant at +this, and his protest, printed by Faulkner, brought that publisher +before the Council, and gave Swift a fit of "nerves." (MS. Letter, +March 31st, 1737, to Lord Orrery, quoted by Craik in Swift's +"Life," vol. ii., p. 160.) Swift's objection against the copper was +due to the fact that it was not minted in Ireland. "I quarrel not +with the coin, but with the indignity of its not being coined +here." (Same MS. Letter.)</p> + +<p>Among the pamphlets in the Halliday collection in the Royal Irish +Academy, Dublin, is a tract with the following title:</p> + +<p>"Reasons why we should not lower the Coins now Current in this +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_355" id="Page_355">[Pg 355]</a></span>Kingdom ... Dublin: Printed and Sold by E. Waters in Dame-street."</p> + +<p>At the end of this tract is printed Swift's speech to "an Assembly +of above one Hundred and fifty eminent persons who met at the Guild +Hall, on Saturday the 24th April, 1736, in order to draw up their +Petition, and present it to his grace the Lord Lieutenant against +lowering said Coin." It is from this tract that the present text +has been taken. The editor is obliged to Sir Henry Craik's "Life of +Swift" for drawing attention to this hitherto uncollected piece.</p></div> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_357" id="Page_357">[Pg 357]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_356" id="Page_356">[Pg 356]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>SPEECH DELIVERED ON THE LOWERING OF<br />THE COIN.</h3> + + +<p>I beg you will consider and very well weigh in your hearts, what I am +going to say and what I have often said before. There are several bodies +of men, among whom the power of this kingdom is divided—1st, The +Lord-Lieutenant, Lords Justices and Council; next to these, my Lords the +Bishops; there is likewise my Lord Chancellor, and my Lords the Judges +of the land—with other eminent persons in the land, who have +employments and great salaries annexed. To these must be added the +Commissioners of the Revenue, with all their under officers: and lastly, +their honours of the Army, of all degrees.</p> + +<p>Now, Gentlemen, I beg you again to consider that none of these persons +above named, can ever suffer the loss of one farthing by all the +miseries under which the kingdom groans at present. For, first, until +the kingdom be entirely ruined, the Lord-Lieutenant and Lords Justices +must have their salaries. My Lords the Bishops, whose lands are set at a +fourth part value, will be sure of their rents and their fines. My Lords +the Judges and those of other employments in the country must likewise +have their salaries. The gentlemen of the revenue will pay themselves, +and as to the officers of the army, the consequence of not paying them +is obvious enough. Nay, so far will those persons I have already +mentioned be from suffering, that, on the contrary, their revenues being +no way lessened by the fall of money, and the price of all commodities +considerably sunk thereby, they must be great gainers. Therefore, +Gentlemen, I do entreat you that as long as you live, you will look on +all persons who are for lowering the gold, or any other coin, as no +friends to this poor kingdom, but such, who find their private account +in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_358" id="Page_358">[Pg 358]</a></span> what will be detrimental to Ireland. And as the absentees are, in +the strongest view, our greatest enemies, first by consuming above +one-half of the rents of this nation abroad, and secondly by turning the +weight, by their absence, so much on the Popish side, by weakening the +Protestant interest, can there be a greater folly than to pave a bridge +of gold at your own expense, to support them in their luxury and vanity +abroad, while hundreds of thousands are starving at home for want of +employment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_359" id="Page_359">[Pg 359]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_360" id="Page_360">[Pg 360]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_361" id="Page_361">[Pg 361]</a></span></p> +<h2>MISCELLANEOUS PIECES.</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>IRISH ELOQUENCE.<a name="FNanchor_196_196" id="FNanchor_196_196"></a><a href="#Footnote_196_196" class="fnanchor">[196]</a></h3> + + +<p>I hope you will come and take a drink of my ale. I always brew with my +own bear. I was at your large Toun's house, in the county of Fermanegh. +He has planted a great many oak trees, and elm trees round his lough: +And a good warrent he had, it is kind father for him, I stayd with him a +week. At breakfast we had sometimes sowins, and sometimes stirrabout, +and sometimes fraughauns and milk; but his cows would hardly give a drop +of milk. For his head had lost the pachaun. His neighbour Squire Dolt is +a meer buddaugh. I'd give a cow in Conaught you could see him. He keeps +none but garrauns, and he rides on a soogaun with nothing for his bridle +but gadd. In that, he is a meer spaulpeen, and a perfect Monaghan, and a +Munster Croch to the bargain. Without you saw him on Sunday you would +take him for a Brogadeer and a spaned to a carl did not know had to draw +butter. We drank balcan and whisky out of madders. And the devil a +niglugam had but a caddao. I wonder your cozen does na learn him better +manners. Your cousin desires you will buy him some cheney cups. I +remember he had a great many; I wonder what is gone with them. I +coshered on him for a week. He has a fine staggard of corn. His dedy has +been very unwell. I was sorry that anything ayl her father's child.</p> + +<p>Firing is very dear thereabout. The turf is drawn tuo near in Kislers; +and they send new rounds from the mines, nothing comes in the Cleeves +but stock. We had a sereroar of beef, and once a runy for dinner.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_362" id="Page_362">[Pg 362]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE BETWEEN A. AND B.<a name="FNanchor_197_197" id="FNanchor_197_197"></a><a href="#Footnote_197_197" class="fnanchor">[197]</a></h3> + + +<p>A. Them aples is very good.</p> + +<p>B. I cam <i>again</i> you in that.</p> + +<p>A. Lord I was bodderd t'other day with that prating fool, Tom.</p> + +<p>B. Pray, how does he <i>get</i> his health?</p> + +<p>A. He's often very <i>unwell</i>.</p> + +<p>B. [I] hear he was a great pet of yours.</p> + +<p>A. Where does he live?</p> + +<p>B. Opposite the red Lyon.</p> + +<p>A. I think he behaved very ill the last sessions.</p> + +<p>B. That's true, but I cannot forbear loving his father's child: Will you +take a glass of my ale?</p> + +<p>A. No, I thank you, I took a drink of small beer at home before I came +here.</p> + +<p>B. I always brew with my own bear: You have a country-house: Are you [a] +planter.</p> + +<p>A. Yes, I have planted a great many oak trees and ash trees, and some +elm trees round a lough.</p> + +<p>B. And so a good warrant you have: It is kind father for you.</p> + +<p>A. And what breakfast do you take in the country?</p> + +<p>B. Sometimes stirabout, and in sumer we have the best frauhaurg in all +the county.</p> + +<p>A. What kind of man is your neighbour Squire Dolt?</p> + +<p>B. Why, a meer Buddogh. He sometimes coshers with me; and once a month I +take a pipe with him, and we shot it about for an hour together.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_363" id="Page_363">[Pg 363]</a></span></p> + +<p>A. I hear he keeps good horses.</p> + +<p>B. None but garrauns, and I have seen him often riding on a sougawn. In +short, he is no better than a spawlpien; a perfect Marcghen. When I was +there last, we had nothing but a medder to drink out of; and the devil a +nighigam but a caddao. Will you go see him when you come unto our +quarter?</p> + +<p>A. Not <i>without</i> you go with me.</p> + +<p>B. Will you lend me your snuff-box?</p> + +<p>A. Do you make good cheese and butter?</p> + +<p>B. Yes, when we can get milk; but our cows will never keep a drop of +milk without a Puckaun.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_364" id="Page_364">[Pg 364]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>TO THE PROVOST AND SENIOR FELLOWS<br />OF TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN.</h3> + + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 20em;">Deanery House,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 22em;">July 5, 1736.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Rev. and Worthy Sirs</span>,</p> + +<p>As I had the honour of receiving some part of my education in your +university, and the good fortune to be of some service to it while I had +a share of credit at court, as well as since, when I had very little or +none, I may hope to be excused for laying a case before you, and +offering my opinion upon it.</p> + +<p>Mr. Dunkin,<a name="FNanchor_198_198" id="FNanchor_198_198"></a><a href="#Footnote_198_198" class="fnanchor">[198]</a> whom you all know, sent me some time ago a memorial +intended to be laid before you, which perhaps he hath already done. His +request is, that you would be pleased to enlarge his annuity at present, +and that he may have the same right, in his turn, to the first church +preferment, vacant in your gift, as if he had been made a fellow, +according to the scheme of his aunt's will; because the absurdity of the +condition in it ought to be imputed to the old woman's ignorance, +although her intention be very manifest; and the intention of the +testator in all wills is chiefly regarded by the law. What I would +therefore propose is this, that you would increase his pension to one +hundred pounds a-year, and make him a firm promise of the first church +living in your disposal, to the value of two hundred pounds a-year, or +somewhat more. This I take to be a reasonable medium between what he +hath proposed in his memorial, and what you allow him at present.</p> + +<p>I am almost a perfect stranger to Mr. Dunkin, having never seen him +above twice, and then in mixed company, nor should I know his person if +I met him in the streets.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_365" id="Page_365">[Pg 365]</a></span></p> + +<p>But I know he is a man of wit and parts; which if applied properly to +the business of his function, instead of poetry, (wherein it must be +owned he sometimes excels,) might be of great use and service to him.</p> + +<p>I hope you will please to remember, that, since your body hath received +no inconsiderable benefaction from the aunt, it will much increase your +reputation, rather to err on the generous side toward the nephew.</p> + +<p>These are my thoughts, after frequently reflecting on the case under all +its circumstances; and so I leave it to your wiser judgments.</p> + +<p>I am, with true respect and esteem, reverend and worthy Sirs,</p> + +<p>Your most obedient and most humble servant,</p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Jon. Swift.</span></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_366" id="Page_366">[Pg 366]</a></span></p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL THE MAYOR,<br />ALDERMEN, SHERIFFS, AND +COMMON-COUNCIL<br />OF THE CITY OF CORK.</h3> + + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 20em;">Deanery House, Dublin,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 22em;">August 15, 1737.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Gentlemen</span>,</p> + +<p>I received from you, some weeks ago, the honour of my freedom, in a +silver box, by the hands of Mr. Stannard; but it was not delivered to me +in as many weeks more; because, I suppose, he was too full of more +important business. Since that time, I have been wholly confined by +sickness, so that I was not able to return you my acknowledgment; and it +is with much difficulty I do it now, my head continuing in great +disorder. Mr. Faulkner will be the bearer of my letter, who sets out +this morning for Cork.</p> + +<p>I could have wished, as I am a private man, that, in the instrument of +my freedom, you had pleased to assign your reasons for making choice of +me. I know it is a usual compliment to bestow the freedom of the city on +an archbishop, or lord-chancellor, and other persons of great titles, +merely on account of their stations or power: but a private man, and a +perfect stranger, without power or grandeur, may justly expect to find +the motives assigned in the instrument of his freedom, on what account +he is thus distinguished. And yet I cannot discover, in the whole +parchment scrip, any one reason offered. Next, as to the silver box, +there is not so much as my name upon it, nor any one syllable to show it +was a present from your city. Therefore I have, by the advice of +friends, agreeable with my opinion, sent back the box and instrument of +freedom by Mr. Faulkner, to be returned to you; leaving to your choice +whether to insert the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_367" id="Page_367">[Pg 367]</a></span> reasons for which you were pleased to give me my +freedom, or bestow the box upon some more worthy person whom you may +have an intention to honour, because it will equally fit everybody.</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 4em;">I am, with true esteem and gratitude,</span></p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 8em;">Gentlemen,</span></p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 6em;">Your most obedient and obliged servant,</span></p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Jon. Swift.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_368" id="Page_368">[Pg 368]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>TO THE HONOURABLE THE SOCIETY</h3> +<h4>OF THE</h4> +<h3>GOVERNOR AND ASSISTANTS, LONDON,</h3> +<h4>FOR THE NEW PLANTATION IN ULSTER,<br />WITHIN THE REALM OF IRELAND,<br />AT THE +CHAMBER IN GUILDHALL,<br />LONDON.</h4> + + +<p class='author'>April 19, 1739.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Worthy Gentlemen</span>,</p> + +<p>I heartily recommend to your very Worshipful Society, the Reverend Mr. +William Dunkin,<a name="FNanchor_199_199" id="FNanchor_199_199"></a><a href="#Footnote_199_199" class="fnanchor">[199]</a> for the living of Colrane, vacant by the death of +Dr. Squire. Mr. Dunkin is a gentleman of great learning and wit, true +religion, and excellent morals. It is only for these qualifications that +I recommend him to your patronage; and I am confident that you will +never repent the choice of such a man, who will be ready at any time to +obey your commands. You have my best wishes, and all my endeavours for +your prosperity: and I shall, during my life, continue to be, with the +truest respect and highest esteem,</p> + +<p class='center'>Worthy Sirs,</p> + +<p><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Your most obedient, and most humble servant,</span></p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Jon. Swift.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_369" id="Page_369">[Pg 369]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT.</h3> + + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 20em;">Deanery-house,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 22em;">Jan. 9, 1739-40</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Whereas the bearer served me the space of one year, during which time he +was an idler and a drunkard, I then discharged him as such; but how far +his having been five years at sea may have mended his manners, I leave +to the penetration of those who may hereafter choose to employ him.</p> + +<p class='author'><span class="smcap">Jon. Swift.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_370" id="Page_370">[Pg 370]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>AN EXHORTATION ADDRESSED TO THE<br />SUB-DEAN AND CHAPTER OF<br />ST. PATRICK'S +CATHEDRAL,<br />DUBLIN.</h3> + + +<p class='author'>January 28, 1741.</p> + +<p>Whereas my infirmities of age and ill-health have prevented me to +preside in the chapters held for the good order and government of my +cathedral church of St. Patrick, Dublin, in person: I have, by a legal +commission, made and appointed the very reverend Doctor John Wynne, +præcentor of the said cathedral, to be sub-dean in my stead and absence. +I do hereby ratify and confirm all the powers delegated to the said Dr. +Wynne in the said Commission.</p> + +<p>And I do hereby require and request the very reverend sub-dean not to +permit any of the vicars-choral, choristers, or organists, to attend or +assist at any public musical performances, without my consent, or his +consent, with the consent of the chapter first obtained.</p> + +<p>And whereas it hath been reported, that I gave a licence to certain +vicars to assist at a club of fiddlers in Fishamble Street, I do hereby +declare that I remember no such licence to have been ever signed or +sealed by me; and that if ever such pretended licence should be +produced, I do hereby annul and vacate the said licence. Intreating my +said sub-dean and chapter to punish such vicars as shall ever appear +there, as songsters, fiddlers, pipers, trumpeters, drummers, +drum-majors, or in any sonal quality, according to the flagitious +aggravations of their respective disobedience, rebellion, perfidy, and +ingratitude.</p> + +<p>I require my said sub-dean to proceed to the extremity of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_371" id="Page_371">[Pg 371]</a></span> expulsion, if +the said vicars should be found ungovernable, impenitent, or +self-sufficient, especially Taberner, Phipps, and Church, who, as I am +informed, have, in violation of my sub-dean's and chapter's order in +December last, at the instance of some obscure persons unknown, presumed +to sing and fiddle at the club above mentioned.</p> + +<p>My resolution is to preserve the dignity of my station, and the honour +of my chapter; and, gentlemen, it is incumbent upon you to aid me, and +to show who and what the Dean and Chapter of Saint Patrick's are.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Signed by me,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 18em;" class="smcap">Jonathan Swift</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 20em;">Dean of St. Patrick's.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Witnesses present,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;" class="smcap">James King</span>,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;" class="smcap">Francis Wilson</span>.<br /> +</p> + +<p>To the very Reverend Doctor John Wynne, sub-dean of the Cathedral church +of Saint Patrick, Dublin, and to the reverend dignitaries and +prebendaries of the same.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_373" id="Page_373">[Pg 373]</a></span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_372" id="Page_372">[Pg 372]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_374" id="Page_374">[Pg 374]</a></span></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_375" id="Page_375">[Pg 375]</a></span></p> +<h3>APPENDIX.</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF<br />THE OCCASIONAL PAPER.</h3> + +<h3>NOTE.</h3> + + +<div class="blockquot"><p>In April, 1727, Swift paid his last visit to England. The visit +paid by him to Walpole, already referred to, resulted in nothing, +though it cannot, on that account, be argued that Swift's open +friendship for, and even support of, Pulteney and Bolingbroke was +owing to his failure with Walpole. Swift pleaded with Walpole for +Ireland and Ireland only, as his letter to Peterborough amply +testifies. It had nothing to do with the political situation in +England. The explanation for this sympathy is most likely found in +Sir Henry Craik's suggestion that Swift humoured the pretences of +his friends that they were of the party that maintained the +national virtues, resisted corruption, and defended liberty against +arbitrary power. To Pulteney Swift always wrote reminding him that +the country looked to him as its saviour, and he wrote in a similar +vein to Bolingbroke and Pope. The "Craftsman" had been founded by +Pulteney and Bolingbroke (a curious companionship when one +remembers the past lives of these two men) for the express purpose +of bringing low Walpole's political power. It began by exposing the +tricks of "Robin" and continued to lay bare the cunning and wiles +of the "Craftsman" at the head of the government of the country. +Both Pulteney and Bolingbroke wrote regularly, and the former +displayed a journalistic power quite extraordinary.</p> + +<p>The letter which follows was written by Swift when in London on the +occasion of his last visit; but a note in Craik's "Life of Swift" +(vol. ii., pp. 166-167) is very interesting as showing that Swift +did certainly give hints for some of the subjects for discussion. I +take the liberty to transcribe this note in full. Sir Henry Craik +thinks it more than likely that Swift may have suggested, during +his last visit to London, some of the lines on which Bolingbroke +and Pulteney worked. In the note he adds:</p> + +<p>"This finds some confirmation, from the following heads of a Tract, +which I have found in a memorandum in Swift's handwriting. The +memorandum belongs to Mr. Frederick Locker [now dead], who kindly +permitted me to use his papers, the same which came from Theophilus +Swift into Scott's possession. But the interest of this memorandum +escaped Scott's notice."</p></div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_376" id="Page_376">[Pg 376]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h4>"PROPOSAL FOR VIRTUE."</h4> + +<p>"Every little fellow who has a vote now corrupted.</p> + +<p>"An arithmetical computation, how much spent in election of Commons, and +pensions and foreign courts: how then can our debts be paid?</p> + +<p>"No fear that gentlemen will not stand and serve without Pensions, and +that they will let the Kingdom be invaded for want of fleets and armies, +or bring in Pretender, etc.</p> + +<p>"How K(ing) will ensure his own interest as well as the Publick: he is +now forced to keep himself bare, etc., at least, late King was.</p> + +<p>"Perpetual expedients, stop-gaps, etc., at long run must terminate in +something fatal, as it does in private estates.</p> + +<p>"There may be probably 10,000 landed men in England fit for Parliament. +This would reduce Parliament to consist of real landed men, which is +full as necessary for Senates as for Juries. What do the other 9,000 do +for want of pensions?</p> + +<p>" ... In private life, virtue may be difficult, by passions, +infirmities, temptations, want of pence, strong opposition, etc. But not +in public administration: there it makes all things easy.</p> + +<p>"Form the Scheme. Suppose a King of England would resolve to give no +pension for party, etc., and call a Parliament, perfectly free, as he +could.</p> + +<p>"What can a K. reasonably ask that a Parliament will refuse? When they +are resty, it is by corrupt ministers, who have designs dangerous to the +State, and must therefore support themselves by bribing, etc.</p> + +<p>"Open, fair dealing the best.</p> + +<p>"A contemptuous character of Court art. How different from true +politics. For, comparing the talents of two professions that are very +different, I cannot but think, that in the present sense of the word +Politician, a common sharper or pickpocket, has every quality that can +be required in the other, and accordingly I have personally known more +than half a dozen in their hour esteemed equally to excell in both."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the +quarto issue of Swift's Works published in 1765.</p> + +<p class='author'>[T. S.]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_377" id="Page_377">[Pg 377]</a></span></p> + + + + + +<h3>A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF<br /> +THE OCCASIONAL PAPER. or <a name="FNanchor_200_200" id="FNanchor_200_200"></a><a href="#Footnote_200_200" class="fnanchor">[200]</a> +</h3> +<h4>[VIDE THE CRAFTSMAN, 1727.]</h4> + + + +<p><span class="smcap">Sir,</span></p> + +<p>Although, in one of your papers, you declare an intention of turning +them, during the dead season of the year, into accounts of domestic and +foreign intelligence; yet I think we, your correspondents, should not +understand your meaning so literally, as if you intended to reject +inserting any other paper, which might probably be useful for the +public. Neither, indeed, am I fully convinced that this new course you +resolve to take will render you more secure than your former laudable +practice, of inserting such speculations as were sent you by several +well-wishers to the good of the kingdom; however grating such notices +might be to some, who wanted neither power nor inclination to resent +them at your cost. For, since there is a direct law against spreading +false news, if you should venture to tell us in one of the Craftsmen +that the Dey of Algiers had got the toothache, or the King of Bantam had +taken a purge, and the facts should be contradicted in succeeding +packets; I do not see what plea you could offer to avoid the utmost +penalty of the law, because you are not supposed to be very gracious +among those who are most able to hurt you.</p> + +<p>Besides, as I take your intentions to be sincerely meant for the public +service, so your original method of entertaining and instructing us will +be more general and more useful in this season of the year, when people +are retired to amuse<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_378" id="Page_378">[Pg 378]</a></span>ments more cool, more innocent, and much more +reasonable than those they have left; when their passions are subsided +or suspended; when they have no occasions of inflaming themselves, or +each other; where they will have opportunities of hearing common sense, +every day in the week, from their tenants or neighbouring farmers, and +thereby be qualified, in hours of rain or leisure, to read and consider +the advice or information you shall send them.</p> + +<p>Another weighty reason why you should not alter your manner of writing, +by dwindling to a newsmonger, is because there is no suspension of arms +agreed on between you and your adversaries, who fight with a sort of +weapons which have two wonderful qualities, that they are never to be +worn out, and are best wielded by the weakest hands, and which the +poverty of our language forceth me to call by the trite appellations of +scurrility, slander, and Billingsgate. I am far from thinking that these +gentlemen, or rather their employers, (for the operators themselves are +too obscure to be guessed at) should be answered after their own way, +although it were possible to drag them out of their obscurity; but I +wish you would enquire what real use such a conduct is to the cause they +have been so largely paid to defend. The author of the three first +Occasional Letters, a person altogether unknown, hath been thought to +glance (for what reasons he best knows) at some public proceedings, as +if they were not agreeable to his private opinions. In answer to this, +the pamphleteers retained on the other side are instructed by their +superiors, to single out an adversary whose abilities they have most +reason to apprehend, and to load himself, his family, and friends, with +all the infamy that a perpetual conversation in Bridewell, Newgate, and +the stews could furnish them; but, at the same time, so very unluckily, +that the most distinguishing parts of their characters strike directly +in the face of their benefactor, whose idea presenting itself along with +his guineas perpetually to their imagination, occasioned this desperate +blunder.</p> + +<p>But, allowing this heap of slander to be truth, and applied to the +proper person; what is to be the consequence? Are our public debts to be +the sooner paid; the corruptions that author complains of to be the +sooner cured; an honourable peace, or a glorious war the more likely to +ensue; trade to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_379" id="Page_379">[Pg 379]</a></span> flourish; the Ostend Company to be demolished; +Gibraltar and Port Mahon left entire in our possession; the balance of +Europe to be preserved; the malignity of parties to be for ever at an +end; none but persons of merit, virtue, genius, and learning to be +encouraged? I ask whether any of these effects will follow upon the +publication of this author's libel, even supposing he could prove every +syllable of it to be true?</p> + +<p>At the same time, I am well assured, that the only reason of ascribing +those papers to a particular person, is built upon the information of a +certain pragmatical spy of quality, well known to act in that capacity +by those into whose company he insinuates himself; a sort of persons +who, although without much love, esteem, or dread of people in present +power, yet have too much common prudence to speak their thoughts with +freedom before such an intruder; who, therefore, imposes grossly upon +his masters, if he makes them pay for anything but his own conjectures.</p> + +<p>It is a grievous mistake in a great minister to neglect or despise, much +more to irritate men of genius and learning. I have heard one of the +wisest persons in my time observe, that an administration was to be +known and judged by the talents of those who appeared their advocates in +print. This I must never allow to be a general rule; yet I cannot but +think it prodigiously unfortunate, that, among the answerers, defenders, +repliers, and panegyrists, started up in defence of present persons and +proceedings, there hath not yet arisen one whose labours we can read +with patience, however we may applaud their loyalty and good will. And +all this with the advantages of constant ready pay, of natural and +acquired venom, and a grant of the whole fund of slander, to range over +and riot in as they please.<a name="FNanchor_201_201" id="FNanchor_201_201"></a><a href="#Footnote_201_201" class="fnanchor">[201]</a></p> + +<p>On the other side, a turbulent writer of Occasional Letters, and other +vexatious papers, in conjunction perhaps with one or two friends as bad +as himself, is able to disconcert, tease, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_380" id="Page_380">[Pg 380]</a></span>and sour us whenever he +thinks fit, merely by the strength of genius and truth; and after so +dexterous a manner, that, when we are vexed to the soul, and well know +the reasons why we are so, we are ashamed to own the first, and cannot +tell how to express the other. In a word, it seems to me that all the +writers are on one side, and all the railers on the other.</p> + +<p>However, I do not pretend to assert, that it is impossible for an ill +minister to find men of wit who may be drawn, by a very valuable +consideration, to undertake his defence; but the misfortune is, that the +heads of such writers rebel against their hearts; their genius forsakes +them, when they would offer to prostitute it to the service of +injustice, corruption, party rage, and false representations of things +and persons.</p> + +<p>And this is the best argument I can offer in defence of great men, who +have been of late so very unhappy in the choice of their +paper-champions; although I cannot much commend their good husbandry, in +those exorbitant payments of twenty and sixty guineas at a time for a +scurvy pamphlet; since the sort of work they require is what will all +come within the talents of any one who hath enjoyed the happiness of a +very bad education, hath kept the vilest company, is endowed with a +servile spirit, is master of an empty purse, and a heart full of malice.</p> + +<p>But, to speak the truth in soberness; it should seem a little hard, +since the old Whiggish principle hath been recalled of standing up for +the liberty of the press, to a degree that no man, for several years +past, durst venture out a thought which did not square to a point with +the maxims and practices that then prevailed: I say, it is a little hard +that the vilest mercenaries should be countenanced, preferred, rewarded, +for discharging their brutalities against men of honour, only upon a +bare conjecture.</p> + +<p>If it should happen that these profligates have attacked an innocent +person, I ask what satisfaction can their hirers give in return? Not all +the wealth raked together by the most corrupt rapacious ministers, in +the longest course of unlimited power, would be sufficient to atone for +the hundredth part of such an injury.</p> + +<p>In the common way of thinking, it is a situation sufficient in all +conscience to satisfy a reasonable ambition, for a private person to +command the forces, the laws, the revenues<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_381" id="Page_381">[Pg 381]</a></span> of a great kingdom, to +reward and advance his followers and flatterers as he pleases, and to +keep his enemies (real or imaginary) in the dust. In such an exaltation, +why should he be at the trouble to make use of fools to sound his +praises, (because I always thought the lion was hard set, when he chose +the ass for his trumpeter) or knaves to revenge his quarrels, at the +expense of innocent men's reputations?</p> + +<p>With all those advantages, I cannot see why persons, in the height of +power, should be under the least concern on account of their reputation, +for which they have no manner of use; or to ruin that of others, which +may perhaps be the only possession their enemies have left them. +Supposing times of corruption, which I am very far from doing, if a +writer displays them in their proper colours, does he do anything worse +than sending customers to the shop? "Here only, at the sign of the +Brazen Head, are to be sold places and pensions: beware of counterfeits, +and take care of mistaking the door."</p> + +<p>For my own part, I think it very unnecessary to give the character of a +great minister in the fulness of his power, because it is a thing that +naturally does itself, and is obvious to the eyes of all mankind; for +his personal qualities are all derived into the most minute parts of his +administration. If this be just, prudent, regular, impartial, intent +upon the public good, prepared for present exigencies, and provident of +the future; such is the director himself in his private capacity: If it +be rapacious, insolent, partial, palliating long and deep diseases of +the public with empirical remedies, false, disguised, impudent, +malicious, revengeful; you shall infallibly find the private life of the +conductor to answer in every point; nay, what is more, every twinge of +the gout or gravel will be felt in their consequences by the community. +As the thief-catcher, upon viewing a house broke open, could immediately +distinguish, from the manner of the workmanship, by what hand it was +done.</p> + +<p>It is hard to form a maxim against which an exception is not ready to +start up: So, in the present case, where the minister grows enormously +rich, the public is proportionably poor; as, in a private family, the +steward always thrives the fastest when his lord is running out.</p> + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_382" id="Page_382">[Pg 382]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN.<a name="FNanchor_202_202" id="FNanchor_202_202"></a><a href="#Footnote_202_202" class="fnanchor">[202]</a></h3> + + +<p>Regoge<a name="FNanchor_203_203" id="FNanchor_203_203"></a><a href="#Footnote_203_203" class="fnanchor">[203]</a> was the thirty-fourth emperor of Japan, and began his reign +in the year 341 of the Christian era, succeeding to Nena,<a name="FNanchor_204_204" id="FNanchor_204_204"></a><a href="#Footnote_204_204" class="fnanchor">[204]</a> a +princess who governed with great felicity.</p> + +<p>There had been a revolution in that empire about twenty-six years +before, which made some breaches in the hereditary line; and Regoge, +successor to Nena, although of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_383" id="Page_383">[Pg 383]</a></span>royal family, was a distant +relation. There were two violent parties in the empire, which began in +the time of the revolution above mentioned; and, at the death of the +Empress Nena, were in the highest degree of animosity, each charging the +other with a design of introducing new gods, and changing the civil +constitution. The names of these two parties were Husiges and +Yortes.<a name="FNanchor_205_205" id="FNanchor_205_205"></a><a href="#Footnote_205_205" class="fnanchor">[205]</a> The latter were those whom Nena, the late empress, most +favoured towards the end of her reign, and by whose advice she governed.</p> + +<p>The Husige faction, enraged at their loss of power, made private +applications to Regoge during the life of the empress; which prevailed +so far, that, upon her death, the new emperor wholly disgraced the +Yortes, and employed only the Husiges in all his affairs. The Japanese +author highly blames his Imperial Majesty's proceeding in this affair; +because, it was allowed on all hands, that he had then a happy +opportunity of reconciling parties for ever by a moderating scheme. But +he, on the contrary, began his reign by openly disgracing the principal +and most popular Yortes, some of which had been chiefly instrumental in +raising him to the throne. By this mistaken step he occasioned a +rebellion; which, although it were soon quelled by some very surprising +turns of fortune, yet the fear, whether real or pretended, of new +attempts, engaged him in such immense charges, that, instead of clearing +any part of that prodigious debt left on his kingdom by the former war, +which might have been done by any tolerable management, in twelve years +of the most profound peace; he left his empire loaden with a vast +addition to the old encumbrance.</p> + +<p>This prince, before he succeeded to the empire of Japan, was king of +Tedsu,<a name="FNanchor_206_206" id="FNanchor_206_206"></a><a href="#Footnote_206_206" class="fnanchor">[206]</a> a dominion seated on the continent, to the west side of +Japan. Tedsu was the place of his birth, and more beloved by him than +his new empire; for there he spent some months almost every year, and +thither was supposed to have conveyed great sums of money, saved out of +his Imperial revenues.</p> + +<p>There were two maritime towns of great importance<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_384" id="Page_384">[Pg 384]</a></span> bordering upon Tedsu:<a name="FNanchor_207_207" id="FNanchor_207_207"></a><a href="#Footnote_207_207" class="fnanchor">[207]</a> Of these he purchased a litigated title; +and, to support it, was forced not only to entrench deeply on his +Japanese revenues, but to engage in alliances very dangerous to the +Japanese empire.<a name="FNanchor_208_208" id="FNanchor_208_208"></a><a href="#Footnote_208_208" class="fnanchor">[208]</a></p> + +<p>Japan was at that time a limited monarchy, which some authors are of +opinion was introduced there by a detachment from the numerous army of +Brennus, who ravaged a great part of Asia; and, those of them who fixed +in Japan, left behind them that kind of military institution, which the +northern people, in ensuing ages, carried through most parts of Europe; +the generals becoming kings, the great officers a senate of nobles, with +a representative from every centenary of private soldiers; and, in the +assent of the majority in these two bodies, confirmed by the general, +the legislature consisted.</p> + +<p>I need not farther explain a matter so universally known; but return to +my subject.</p> + +<p>The Husige faction, by a gross piece of negligence in the Yortes, had so +far insinuated themselves and their opinions into the favour of Regoge +before he came to the empire, that this prince firmly believed them to +be his only true friends, and the others his mortal enemies.<a name="FNanchor_209_209" id="FNanchor_209_209"></a><a href="#Footnote_209_209" class="fnanchor">[209]</a> By +this opinion he governed all the actions of his reign.</p> + +<p>The emperor died suddenly, in his journey to Tedsu; where, according to +his usual custom, he was going to pass the summer.</p> + +<p>This prince, during his whole reign, continued an absolute stranger to +the language, the manners, the laws, and the religion of Japan; and +passing his whole time among old mistresses, or a few privadoes, left +the whole management of the empire in the hands of a minister, upon the +condition of being made easy in his personal revenues, and the +management of parties in the senate. His last minister,<a name="FNanchor_210_210" id="FNanchor_210_210"></a><a href="#Footnote_210_210" class="fnanchor">[210]</a> who +governed in the most arbitrary manner for several years, he was thought +to hate more than he did any other person <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_385" id="Page_385">[Pg 385]</a></span>in Japan, except his only +son, the heir to the empire. The dislike he bore to the former was, +because the minister, under pretence that he could not govern the senate +without disposing of employments among them, would not suffer his master +to oblige one single person, but disposed of all to his own relations +and dependants. But, as to that continued and virulent hatred he bore to +the prince his son, from the beginning of his reign to his death, the +historian hath not accounted for it, further than by various +conjectures, which do not deserve to be related.</p> + +<p>The minister above mentioned was of a family not contemptible, had been +early a senator, and from his youth a mortal enemy to the Yortes. He had +been formerly disgraced in the senate, for some frauds in the management +of a public trust.<a name="FNanchor_211_211" id="FNanchor_211_211"></a><a href="#Footnote_211_211" class="fnanchor">[211]</a> He was perfectly skilled, by long practice, in +the senatorial forms; and dexterous in the purchasing of votes, from +those who could find their accounts better in complying with his +measures, than they could probably lose by any tax that might be charged +on the kingdom. He seemed to fail, in point of policy, by not concealing +his gettings, never scrupling openly to lay out vast sums of money in +paintings, buildings, and purchasing estates; when it was known, that, +upon his first coming into business, upon the death of the Empress Nena, +his fortune was but inconsiderable. He had the most boldness, and the +least magnanimity that ever any mortal was endowed with. By enriching +his relations, friends, and dependants, in a most exorbitant manner, he +was weak enough to imagine that he had provided a support against an +evil day. He had the best among all false appearances of courage, which +was a most unlimited assurance, whereby he would swagger the boldest men +into a dread of his power, but had not the smallest portion of +magnanimity, growing jealous, and disgracing every man, who was known to +bear the least civility to those he disliked. He had some small +smattering in books, but no manner of politeness; nor, in his whole +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_386" id="Page_386">[Pg 386]</a></span>life, was ever known to advance any one person, upon the score of wit, +learning, or abilities for business. The whole system of his ministry +was corruption; and he never gave bribe or pension, without frankly +telling the receivers what he expected from them, and threatening them +to put an end to his bounty, if they failed to comply in every +circumstance.</p> + +<p>A few months before the emperor's death, there was a design concerted +between some eminent persons of both parties, whom the desperate state +of the empire had united, to accuse the minister at the first meeting of +a new chosen senate, which was then to assemble according to the laws of +that empire. And it was believed, that the vast expense he must be at in +choosing an assembly proper for his purpose, added to the low state of +the treasury, the increasing number of pensioners, the great discontent +of the people, and the personal hatred of the emperor; would, if well +laid open in the senate, be of weight enough to sink the minister, when +it should appear to his very pensioners and creatures that he could not +supply them much longer.</p> + +<p>While this scheme was in agitation, an account came of the emperor's +death, and the prince his son,<a name="FNanchor_212_212" id="FNanchor_212_212"></a><a href="#Footnote_212_212" class="fnanchor">[212]</a> with universal joy, mounted the +throne of Japan.</p> + +<p>The new emperor had always lived a private life, during the reign of his +father; who, in his annual absence, never trusted him more than once +with the reins of government, which he held so evenly that he became too +popular to be confided in any more. He was thought not unfavourable to +the Yortes, at least not altogether to approve the virulence wherewith +his father proceeded against them; and therefore, immediately upon his +succession, the principal persons of that denomination came, in several +bodies, to kiss the hem of his garment, whom he received with great +courtesy, and some of them with particular marks of distinction.</p> + +<p>The prince, during the reign of his father, having not been trusted with +any public charge, employed his leisure in learning the language, the +religion, the customs, and disposition of the Japanese; wherein he +received great in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_387" id="Page_387">[Pg 387]</a></span>formation, among others, from Nomptoc<a name="FNanchor_213_213" id="FNanchor_213_213"></a><a href="#Footnote_213_213" class="fnanchor">[213]</a>, master of +his finances, and president of the senate, who secretly hated Lelop-Aw, +the minister; and likewise from Ramneh<a name="FNanchor_214_214" id="FNanchor_214_214"></a><a href="#Footnote_214_214" class="fnanchor">[214]</a>, a most eminent senator; +who, despairing to do any good with the father, had, with great +industry, skill, and decency, used his endeavour to instil good +principles into the young prince.</p> + +<p>Upon the news of the former emperor's death, a grand council was +summoned of course, where little passed besides directing the ceremony +of proclaiming the successor. But, in some days after, the new emperor +having consulted with those persons in whom he could chiefly confide, +and maturely considered in his own mind the present state of his +affairs, as well as the disposition of his people, convoked another +assembly of his council; wherein, after some time spent in general +business, suitable to the present emergency, he directed Lelop-Aw to +give him, in as short terms as he conveniently could, an account of the +nation's debts, of his management in the senate, and his negotiations +with foreign courts: Which that minister having delivered, according to +his usual manner, with much assurance and little satisfaction, the +emperor desired to be fully satisfied in the following particulars.</p> + +<p>Whether the vast expense of choosing such members into the senate, as +would be content to do the public business, were absolutely necessary?</p> + +<p>Whether those members, thus chosen in, would cross and impede the +necessary course of affairs, unless they were supplied with great sums +of money, and continued pensions?</p> + +<p>Whether the same corruption and perverseness were to be expected from +the nobles?</p> + +<p>Whether the empire of Japan were in so low a condition, that the +imperial envoys, at foreign courts, must be forced to purchase +alliances, or prevent a war, by immense bribes, given to the ministers +of all the neighbouring princes?</p> + +<p>Why the debts of the empire were so prodigiously advanced, in a peace of +twelve years at home and abroad?</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_388" id="Page_388">[Pg 388]</a></span></p><p>Whether the Yortes were universally enemies to the religion and laws of +the empire, and to the imperial family now reigning?</p> + +<p>Whether those persons, whose revenues consist in lands, do not give +surer pledges of fidelity to the public, and are more interested in the +welfare of the empire, than others whose fortunes consist only in money?</p> + +<p>And because Lelop-Aw, for several years past, had engrossed the whole +administration, the emperor signified, that from him alone he expected +an answer.</p> + +<p>This minister, who had sagacity enough to cultivate an interest in the +young prince's family, during the late emperor's life, received early +intelligence from one of his emissaries of what was intended at the +council, and had sufficient time to frame as plausible an answer as his +cause and conduct would allow. However, having desired a few minutes to +put his thoughts in order, he delivered them in the following manner.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">"Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>"Upon this short unexpected warning, to answer your Imperial Majesty's +queries I should be wholly at a loss, in your Majesty's august presence, +and that of this most noble assembly, if I were armed with a weaker +defence than my own loyalty and integrity, and the prosperous success of +my endeavours.</p> + +<p>"It is well known that the death of the Empress Nena happened in a most +miraculous juncture; and that, if she had lived two months longer, your +illustrious family would have been deprived of your right, and we should +have seen an usurper upon your throne, who would have wholly changed the +constitution of this empire, both civil and sacred; and although that +empress died in a most opportune season, yet the peaceable entrance of +your Majesty's father was effected by a continual series of miracles. +The truth of this appears by that unnatural rebellion which the Yortes +raised, without the least provocation, in the first year of the late +emperor's reign, which may be sufficient to convince your Majesty, that +every soul of that denomination was, is, and will be for ever, a +favourer of the Pretender, a mortal enemy to your illustrious family, +and an introducer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_389" id="Page_389">[Pg 389]</a></span> of new gods into the empire. Upon this foundation was +built the whole conduct of our affairs; and, since a great majority of +the kingdom was at that time reckoned to favour the Yortes faction, who, +in the regular course of elections, must certainly be chosen members of +the senate then to be convoked; it was necessary, by the force of money, +to influence elections in such a manner, that your Majesty's father +might have a sufficient number to weigh down the scale on his side, and +thereby carry on those measures which could only secure him and his +family in the possession of the empire. To support this original plan I +came into the service: But the members of the senate, knowing themselves +every day more necessary, upon the choosing of a new senate, I found the +charges to increase; and that, after they were chosen, they insisted +upon an increase of their pensions; because they well knew that the work +could not be carried on without them: And I was more general in my +donatives, because I thought it was more for the honour of the crown, +that every vote should pass without a division; and that, when a debate +was proposed, it should immediately be quashed, by putting the question.</p> + +<p>"Sir, The date of the present senate is expired, and your Imperial +Majesty is now to convoke a new one; which, I confess, will be somewhat +more expensive than the last, because the Yortes, from your favourable +reception, have begun to reassume a spirit whereof the country had some +intelligence; and we know the majority of the people, without proper +management, would be still in that fatal interest. However, I dare +undertake, with the charge only of four hundred thousand sprangs,<a name="FNanchor_215_215" id="FNanchor_215_215"></a><a href="#Footnote_215_215" class="fnanchor">[215]</a> +to return as great a majority of senators of the true stamp, as your +Majesty can desire. As to the sums of money paid in foreign courts, I +hope, in some years, to ease the nation of them, when we and our +neighbours come to a good understanding. However, I will be bold to say, +they are cheaper than a war, where your Majesty is to be a principal.</p> + +<p>"The pensions, indeed, to senators and other persons, must needs +increase, from the restiveness of some, and scrupulous nature of others; +and the new members, who <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_390" id="Page_390">[Pg 390]</a></span>are unpractised, must have better +encouragement. However, I dare undertake to bring the eventual charge +within eight hundred thousand sprangs. But, to make this easy, there +shall be new funds raised, of which I have several schemes ready, +without taxing bread or flesh, which shall be referred to more pressing +occasions.</p> + +<p>"Your Majesty knows it is the laudable custom of all Eastern princes, to +leave the whole management of affairs, both civil and military, to their +viziers. The appointments for your family, and private purse, shall +exceed those of your predecessors: You shall be at no trouble, further +than to appear sometimes in council, and leave the rest to me: You shall +hear no clamour or complaints: Your senate shall, upon occasions, +declare you the best of princes, the father of your country, the arbiter +of Asia, the defender of the oppressed, and the delight of mankind.</p> + +<p>"Sir, Hear not those who would most falsely, impiously, and maliciously +insinuate, that your government can be carried on without that +wholesome, necessary expedient, of sharing the public revenue with your +faithful deserving senators. This, I know, my enemies are pleased to +call bribery and corruption. Be it so: But I insist, that without this +bribery and corruption, the wheels of government will not turn, or at +least will be apt to take fire, like other wheels, unless they be +greased at proper times. If an angel from heaven should descend, to +govern this empire upon any other scheme than what our enemies call +corruption, he must return from whence he came, and leave the work +undone.</p> + +<p>"Sir, It is well known we are a trading nation, and consequently cannot +thrive in a bargain where nothing is to be gained. The poor electors, +who run from their shops, or the plough, for the service of their +country, are they not to be considered for their labour and their +loyalty? The candidates, who, with the hazard of their persons, the loss +of their characters, and the ruin of their fortunes, are preferred to +the senate, in a country where they are strangers, before the very lords +of the soil; are they not to be rewarded for their zeal to your +Majesty's service, and qualified to live in your metropolis as becomes +the lustre of their stations?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_391" id="Page_391">[Pg 391]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Sir, If I have given great numbers of the most profitable employments +among my own relations and nearest allies, it was not out of any +partiality, but because I know them best, and can best depend upon them. +I have been at the pains to mould and cultivate their opinions. Abler +heads might probably have been found, but they would not be equally +under my direction. A huntsman, who hath the absolute command of his +dogs, will hunt more effectually than with a better pack, to whose +manner and cry he is a stranger.</p> + +<p>"Sir, Upon the whole, I will appeal to all those who best knew your +royal father, whether that blessed monarch had ever one anxious thought +for the public, or disappointment, or uneasiness, or want of money for +all his occasions, during the time of my administration? And, how happy +the people confessed themselves to be under such a king, I leave to +their own numerous addresses; which all politicians will allow to be the +most infallible proof how any nation stands affected to their +sovereign."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Lelop-Aw, having ended his speech and struck his forehead thrice against +the table, as the custom is in Japan, sat down with great complacency of +mind, and much applause of his adherents, as might be observed by their +countenances and their whispers. But the Emperor's behaviour was +remarkable; for, during the whole harangue, he appeared equally +attentive and uneasy. After a short pause, His Majesty commanded that +some other counsellor should deliver his thoughts, either to confirm or +object against what had been spoken by Lelop-Aw.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_392" id="Page_392">[Pg 392]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>THE ANSWER OF THE RIGHT HON. WILLIAM PULTENEY, <span class="smcap">Esq.</span>, TO THE +RIGHT HON. SIR ROBERT WALPOLE.<a name="FNanchor_216_216" id="FNanchor_216_216"></a><a href="#Footnote_216_216" class="fnanchor">[216]</a></h3> + + +<p>Oct. 15, 1730.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap" style="margin-left: 1em;">Sir</span>,</p> + +<p>A pamphlet was lately sent me, entitled, "A Letter from the Right +Honourable Sir R. W. to the Right Honourable W. P. Esq; occasioned by the +late Invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family." By +these initial letters of our names, the world is to understand that you +and I must be meant. Although the letter seems to require an answer, yet +because it appears to be written rather in the style and manner used by +some of your pensioners, than your own, I shall allow you the liberty to +think the same of this answer, and leave the public to determine which +of the two actors can better personate their principals. That frigid and +fustian way of haranguing wherewith your representer begins, continues, +and ends his declamation, I shall leave to the critics in eloquence and +propriety to descant on; because it adds nothing to the weight of your +accusations, nor will my defence be one grain the better by exposing its +puerilities.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_393" id="Page_393">[Pg 393]</a></span></p> + +<p>I shall therefore only remark upon this particular, that the frauds and +corruptions in most other arts and sciences, as law, physic (I shall +proceed no further) are usually much more plausibly defended than in +that of politics; whether it be, that by a kind of fatality the +vindication of a corrupt minister is always left to the management of +the meanest and most prostitute writers; or whether it be, that the +effects of a wicked or unskilful administration, are more public, +visible, pernicious and universal. Whereas the mistakes in other +sciences are often matters that affect only speculation; or at worst, +the bad consequences fall upon few and private persons. A nation is +quickly sensible of the miseries it feels, and little comforted by +knowing what account it turns to by the wealth, the power, the honours +conferred on those who sit at the helm, or the salaries paid to their +penmen; while the body of the people is sunk into poverty and despair. A +Frenchman in his wooden shoes may, from the vanity of his nation, and +the constitution of that government, conceive some imaginary pleasure in +boasting the grandeur of his monarch, in the midst of his own slavery; +but a freeborn Englishman, with all his loyalty, can find little +satisfaction at a minister overgrown in wealth and power from the lowest +degree of want and contempt; when that power or wealth are drawn from +the bowels and blood of the nation, for which every fellow-subject is a +sufferer, except the great man himself, his family, and his pensioners. +I mean such a minister (if there hath ever been such a one) whose whole +management hath been a continued link of ignorance, blunders, and +mistakes in every article besides that of enriching and aggrandizing +himself.</p> + +<p>For these reasons the faults of men, who are most trusted in public +business, are, of all others, the most difficult to be defended. A man +may be persuaded into a wrong opinion, wherein he hath small concern: +but no oratory can have the power over a sober man against the +conviction of his own senses: and therefore, as I take it, the money +thrown away on such advocates might be more prudently spared, and kept +in such a minister's own pocket, than lavished in hiring a corporation +of pamphleteers to defend his conduct, and prove a kingdom to be +flourishing in trade and wealth, which every particular subject (except +those few already excepted)<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_394" id="Page_394">[Pg 394]</a></span> can lawfully swear, and, by dear experience +knows, to be a falsehood.</p> + +<p>Give me leave, noble sir, in the way of argument, to suppose this to be +your case; could you in good conscience, or moral justice, chide your +paper-advocates for their ill success in persuading the world against +manifest demonstration? Their miscarriage is owing, alas! to want of +matter. Should we allow them to be masters of wit, raillery, or +learning, yet the subject would not admit them to exercise their +talents; and, consequently, they can have no recourse but to impudence, +lying, and scurrility.</p> + +<p>I must confess, that the author of your letter to me hath carried this +last qualification to a greater height than any of his fellows: but he +hath, in my opinion, failed a little in point of politeness from the +original which he affects to imitate. If I should say to a prime +minister, "Sir, you have sufficiently provided that Dunkirk should be +absolutely demolished and never repaired; you took the best advantages +of a long and general peace to discharge the immense debts of the +nation; you did wonders with the fleet; you made the Spaniards submit to +our quiet possession of Gibraltar and Portmahon; you never enriched +yourself and family at the expense of the public."—Such is the style of +your supposed letter, which however, if I am well informed, by no means +comes up to the refinements of a fishwife in Billingsgate. "You never +had a bastard by Tom the waterman; you never stole a silver tankard; you +were never whipped at the cart's tail."</p> + +<p>In the title of your letter, it is said to be "occasioned by the late +invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family:" and the +whole contents of the paper (stripped from your eloquence) goes on upon +a supposition affectedly serious, that their Majesties, and the whole +Royal Family, have been lately bitterly and publicly inveighed against +in the most enormous and treasonable manner. Now, being a man, as you +well know, altogether out of business, I do sometimes lose an hour in +reading a few of those controversial papers upon politics, which have +succeeded for some years past to the polemical tracts between Whig and +Tory: and in this kind of reading (if it may deserve to be so called) +although I have been often but little edified, or entertained,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_395" id="Page_395">[Pg 395]</a></span> yet hath +it given me occasion to make some observations. First, I have observed, +that however men may sincerely agree in all the branches of the Low +Church principle, in a tenderness for dissenters of every kind, in a +perfect abhorrence of Popery and the Pretender, and in the most firm +adherence to the Protestant succession in the royal house of Hanover; +yet plenty of matter may arise to kindle their animosities against each +other from the various infirmities, follies, and vices inherent in +mankind.</p> + +<p>Secondly, I observed, that although the vulgar reproach which charges +the quarrels between ministers, and their opposers, to be only a +contention for power between those who are in, and those who would be in +if they could; yet as long as this proceeds no further than a scuffle of +ambition among a few persons, it is only a matter of course, whereby the +public is little affected. But when corruptions are plain, open, and +undisguised, both in their causes and effects, to the hazard of a +nation's ruin, and so declared by all the principal persons and the bulk +of the people, those only excepted who are gainers by those corruptions: +and when such ministers are forced to fly for shelter to the throne, +with a complaint of disaffection to majesty against all who durst +dislike their administration: such a general disposition in the minds of +men, cannot, I think, by any rules of reason, be called the "clamour of +a few disaffected incendiaries," gasping<a name="FNanchor_217_217" id="FNanchor_217_217"></a><a href="#Footnote_217_217" class="fnanchor">[217]</a> after power. It is the +true voice of the people; which must and will at last be heard, or +produce consequences that I dare not mention.</p> + +<p>I have observed thirdly, that among all the offensive printed papers +which have come to my hand, whether good or bad, the writers have taken +particular pains to celebrate the virtues of our excellent King and +Queen, even where these were, strictly speaking, no part of the subject: +nor can it be properly objected that such a proceeding was only a blind +to cover their malice towards you and your assistants; because to +affront the King, Queen, or the Royal Family, as it would be directly +opposite to the principles that those kind of writers have always +professed, so it would destroy the very end they have in pursuit. And it +is somewhat re<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_396" id="Page_396">[Pg 396]</a></span>markable, that those very writers against you, and the +regiment you command, are such as most distinguish themselves upon all, +or upon no occasions, by their panegyrics on their prince; and, as all +of them do this without favour or hire, so some of them continue the +same practice under the severest prosecution by you and your janizaries.</p> + +<p>You seem to know, or at least very strongly to conjecture, who those +persons are that give you so much weekly disquiet. Will you dare to +assert that any of these are Jacobites, endeavour to alienate the hearts +of the people, to defame the prince, and then dethrone him (for these +are your expressions) and that I am their patron, their bulwark, their +hope, and their refuge? Can you think I will descend to vindicate myself +against an aspersion so absurd? God be thanked, we have had many a +change of ministry without changing our prince: for if it had been +otherwise, perhaps revolutions might have been more frequent. Heaven +forbid that the welfare of a great kingdom, and of a brave people, +should be trusted with the thread of a single subject's life; for I +suppose it is not yet in your view to entail the ministryship in your +family. Thus I hope we may live to see different ministers and different +measures, without any danger to the succession in the royal Protestant +line of Hanover.</p> + +<p>You are pleased to advance a topic, which I could never heartily approve +of in any party, although they have each in their turn advanced it while +they had the superiority. You tell us, "It is hard that while every +private man shall have the liberty to choose what servants he pleaseth, +the same privilege should be refused to a king." This assertion, crudely +understood, can hardly be supported. If by servants be only meant those +who are purely menial, who provide for their master's food and clothing, +or for the convenience and splendour of his family, the point is not +worth debating. But the bad or good choice of a chancellor, a secretary, +an ambassador, a treasurer, and many other officers, is of very high +consequence to the whole kingdom; so is likewise that amphibious race of +courtiers between servants and ministers; such as the steward, +chamberlain, treasurer of the household and the like, being all of the +privy council, and some of the cabinet, who according to their talents, +their principles, and their degree of favour, may be great instruments +of good or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_397" id="Page_397">[Pg 397]</a></span> evil, both to the subject and the prince; so that the +parallel is by no means adequate between a prince's court and a private +family. And yet if an insolent footman be troublesome in the +neighbourhood; if he breaks the people's windows, insults their +servants, breaks into other folk's houses to pilfer what he can find, +although he belong to a duke, and be a favourite in his station, yet +those who are injured may, without just offence, complain to his lord, +and for want of redress get a warrant to send him to the stocks, to +Bridewell, or to Newgate, according to the nature and degree of his +delinquencies. Thus the servants of the prince, whether menial or +otherwise, if they be of his council, are subject to the enquiries and +prosecutions of the great council of the nation, even as far as to +capital punishment; and so must ever be in our constitution, till a +minister can procure a majority even of that council to shelter him; +which I am sure you will allow to be a desperate crisis under any party +of the most plausible denomination.</p> + +<p>The only instance you produce, or rather insinuate, to prove the late +invectives against the King, Queen, and Royal Family, is drawn from that +deduction of the English history, published in several papers by the +<i>Craftsman</i>; wherein are shewn the bad consequences to the public, as +well as to the prince, from the practices of evil ministers in most +reigns, and at several periods, when the throne was filled by wise +monarchs as well as by weak. This deduction, therefore, cannot +reasonably give the least offence to a British king, when he shall +observe that the greatest and ablest of his predecessors, by their own +candour, by a particular juncture of affairs, or by the general +infirmity of human nature, have sometimes put too much trust in +confident, insinuating, and avaricious ministers.</p> + +<p>Wisdom, attended by virtue and a generous nature, is not unapt to be +imposed on. Thus Milton describes Uriel, "the sharpest-sighted spirit in +heaven," and "regent of the sun," deceived by the dissimulation and +flattery of the devil, for which the poet gives a philosophical reason, +but needless here to quote.<a name="FNanchor_218_218" id="FNanchor_218_218"></a><a href="#Footnote_218_218" class="fnanchor">[218]</a> Is anything more common, or more +useful, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_398" id="Page_398">[Pg 398]</a></span>than to caution wise men in high stations against putting too +much trust in undertaking servants, cringing flatterers, or designing +friends? Since the Asiatic custom of governing by prime ministers hath +prevailed in so many courts of Europe, how careful should every prince +be in the choice of the person on whom so great a trust is devolved, +whereon depend the safety and welfare of himself and all his subjects. +Queen Elizabeth, whose administration is frequently quoted as the best +pattern for English princes to follow, could not resist the artifices of +the Earl of Leicester, who, although universally allowed to be the most +ambitious, insolent, and corrupt person of his age, was yet her +greatest, and almost her only favourite: (his religion indeed being +partly puritan and partly infidel, might have better tallied with +present times) yet this wise queen would never suffer the openest +enemies of that overgrown lord to be sacrificed to his vengeance; nor +durst he charge them with a design of introducing Popery or the Spanish +pretender.</p> + +<p>How many great families do we all know, whose masters have passed for +persons of good abilities, during the whole course of their lives, and +yet the greatest part of whose estates have sunk in the hands of their +stewards and receivers; their revenues paid them in scanty portions, at +large discount, and treble interest, though they did not know it; while +the tenants were daily racked, and at the same time accused to their +landlords of insolvency. Of this species are such managers, who, like +honest Peter Waters, pretend to clear an estate, keep the owner +penniless, and, after seven years, leave him five times more in debt, +while they sink half a plum into their own pockets.</p> + +<p>Those who think themselves concerned, may give you thanks for that +gracious liberty you are pleased to allow them of "taking vengeance on +the ministers, and there shooting their envenomed arrows." As to myself; +I neither owe you vengeance, nor make use of such weapons: but it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_399" id="Page_399">[Pg 399]</a></span> is +your weakness, or ill fortune, or perhaps the fault of your +constitution, to convert wholesome remedies into poison; for you have +received better and more frequent instructions than any minister of your +age and country, if God had given you the grace to apply them.</p> + +<p>I dare promise you the thanks of half the kingdom, if you will please to +perform the promise you have made of suffering the <i>Craftsman</i> and +company, or whatever other "infamous wretches and execrable villains" +you mean, to take their vengeance only on your own sacred ministerial +person, without bringing any of your brethren, much less the most remote +branch of the Royal Family, into the debate. This generous offer I +suspected from the first; because there were never heard of so many, so +unnecessary, and so severe prosecutions as you have promoted during your +ministry, in a kingdom where the liberty of the press is so much +pretended to be allowed. But in reading a page or two, I found you +thought it proper to explain away your grant; for there you tell us, +that "these miscreants" (meaning the writers against you) "are to +remember that the laws have <span class="smcap">abundantly less</span> generous, less mild +and merciful sentiments" than yourself, and into their secular hands the +poor authors must be delivered to fines, prisons, pillories, whippings, +and the gallows. Thus your promise of impunity, which began somewhat +jesuitically, concludes with the mercy of a Spanish inquisitor.</p> + +<p>If it should so happen that I am neither "abettor, patron, protector," +nor "supporter" of these imaginary invectives "against the King, her +Majesty, or any of the Royal Family," I desire to know what satisfaction +I am to get from you, or the creature you employed in writing the libel +which I am now answering? It will be no excuse to say, that I differ +from you in every particular of your political reason and practise; +because that will be to load the best, the soundest, and most numerous +part of the kingdom with the denominations you are pleased to bestow +upon me, that they are "Jacobites, wicked miscreants, infamous wretches, +execrable villains, and defamers of the King, Queen, and all the Royal +Family," and "guilty of high treason." You cannot know my style; but I +can easily know your works, which are performed in the sight of the sun. +Your good inclinations are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_400" id="Page_400">[Pg 400]</a></span> visible; but I begin to doubt the strength +of your credit, even at court, that you have not power to make his +Majesty believe me the person which you represent in your libel: as most +infallibly you have often attempted, and in vain, because I must +otherwise have found it by the marks of his royal displeasure. However, +to be angry with you to whom I am indebted for the greatest obligation I +could possibly receive, would be the highest ingratitude. It is to +<span class="smcap">you</span> I owe that reputation I have acquired for some years past +of being a lover of my country and its constitution: to <span class="smcap">you</span> I +owe the libels and scurrilities conferred upon me by the worst of men, +and consequently some degree of esteem and friendship from the best. +From <span class="smcap">you</span> I learned the skill of distinguishing between a +patriot and a plunderer of his country: and from <span class="smcap">you</span> I hope in +time to acquire the knowledge of being a loyal, faithful, and useful +servant to the best of princes, King George the Second; and therefore I +can conclude, by your example, but with greater truth, that I am not +only with humble submission and respect, but with infinite gratitude, +Sir, your most obedient and most obliged servant,</p> + +<p class='author'>W. P.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_401" id="Page_401">[Pg 401]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>INDEX</h3> + + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Acheson, Sir Arthur, <a href='#Page_246'>246</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Alberoni's expedition, <a href='#Page_207'>207</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Allen, Joshua, Lord, his attack on Swift, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>, <a href='#Page_169'>169</a>, <a href='#Page_175'>175</a>, <a href='#Page_176'>176</a>, <a href='#Page_236'>236</a>, <a href='#Page_237'>237</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">account of, <a href='#Page_175'>175</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">America, emigration from Ireland to, <a href='#Page_120'>120</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Arachne, fable of, <a href='#Page_21'>21</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ballaquer, Carteret's secretary, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bank, proposal for a national, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_27'>27</a>, <a href='#Page_31'>31</a>, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>, <a href='#Page_42'>42</a>, <a href='#Page_43'>43</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">subscribers to the, <a href='#Page_49'>49-51</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Barbou, Dr Nicholas, <a href='#Page_69'>69</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Barnstaple, the chief market for Irish wool, <a href='#Page_18'>18</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Beggars in Ireland, <a href='#Page_70'>70</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Proposal for giving Badges to, <a href='#Page_323'>323-335</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">reason for the number of, <a href='#Page_341'>341</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Birch, Colonel John, <a href='#Page_6'>6</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bishops, Swift's proposal to sell the lands of the, <a href='#Page_252'>252</a> <i>et seq.</i></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bladon, Colonel, <a href='#Page_23'>23</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bolingbroke, Lord, his contributions to the "Craftsman," <a href='#Page_219'>219</a>, <a href='#Page_375'>375</a>, <a href='#Page_377'>377</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Boulter, Archbishop, his scheme for lowering the gold coinage, <a href='#Page_353'>353</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">opposed by Swift, <a href='#Page_353'>353</a>, <a href='#Page_354'>354</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Browne, Sir John, his "Scheme of the money matters of Ireland," <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Swift's answer to his "Memorial," <a href='#Page_109'>109-116</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Burnet, William, <a href='#Page_121'>121</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Carteret, John, Lord, <a href='#Page_227'>227</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Swift's Vindication of, <a href='#Page_229'>229-249</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Coinage, McCulla's proposal about, <a href='#Page_179'>179-190</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Swift's counter-proposal, <a href='#Page_183'>183</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Coining, forbidden in Ireland, <a href='#Page_88'>88</a>, <a href='#Page_134'>134</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Compton, Sir Spencer, <a href='#Page_387'>387</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Corn, imported into Ireland from England, <a href='#Page_17'>17</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Cossing," explained, <a href='#Page_271'>271</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cotter, ballad upon, <a href='#Page_23'>23</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Craftsman," the, <a href='#Page_219'>219</a>, <a href='#Page_375'>375</a>, <a href='#Page_397'>397</a>, <a href='#Page_399'>399</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Davenport, Colonel, <a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Delany, Dr. Patrick, <a href='#Page_244'>244</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dublin, thieves and roughs in, <a href='#Page_56'>56</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Examination of certain Abuses, etc, in, <a href='#Page_263'>263-282</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Advice to the Freemen of, in the Choice of a Member of Parliament, <a href='#Page_311'>311-316</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Considerations in the Choice of a Recorder of, <a href='#Page_319'>319</a>, <a href='#Page_320'>320</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dunkin, Rev. William, Swift's efforts in behalf of, <a href='#Page_364'>364</a>, <a href='#Page_368'>368</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dutton-Colt, Sir Harry, <a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Elliston, Ebenezer, Last Speech of, <a href='#Page_56'>56</a> <i>et seq.</i></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Esquire, the title of, <a href='#Page_49'>49</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Footmen, Petition of the, <a href='#Page_307'>307</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">French, Humphry, Lord Mayor of Dublin, <a href='#Page_310'>310</a>, <a href='#Page_311'>311</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">French army, recruited in Ireland, <a href='#Page_218'>218</a>, <a href='#Page_220'>220</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Frogs, propagation of, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_340'>340</a>.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_402" id="Page_402">[Pg 402]</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Galway, Earl of, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Grafton, Duke of, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Grimston, Lord, his "Lawyer's Fortune, or Love in a Hollow Tree," <a href='#Page_24'>24</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gwythers, Dr., introduces frogs into Ireland, <a href='#Page_340'>340</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hanmer, Sir Thomas, <a href='#Page_387'>387</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hospital for Incurables, Scheme for a, <a href='#Page_283'>283-303</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hutcheson, Hartley, <a href='#Page_234'>234</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Injured Lady, Story of the, <a href='#Page_97'>97-103</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Answer to the, <a href='#Page_107'>107-109</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ireland, the Test Act in, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a> <i>et seq.</i>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">exportation of wool from, forbidden, <a href='#Page_17'>17</a>, <a href='#Page_18'>18</a>, <a href='#Page_110'>110</a>, <a href='#Page_111'>111</a>, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>, <a href='#Page_158'>158</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">absentee landlords, <a href='#Page_25'>25</a>, <a href='#Page_69'>69</a>, <a href='#Page_71'>71</a>, <a href='#Page_101'>101</a>, <a href='#Page_162'>162</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Sheridan's account of the state of, <a href='#Page_26'>26-30</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">proposal for establishing a National Bank in, <a href='#Page_31'>31</a>, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>, <a href='#Page_42'>42</a>, <a href='#Page_43'>43</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">maxims controlled in, <a href='#Page_65'>65</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">poverty of, <a href='#Page_25'>25</a>, <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>, <a href='#Page_87'>87</a>, <a href='#Page_89'>89</a>, <a href='#Page_90'>90</a>, <a href='#Page_122'>122</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">increase of rents in, <a href='#Page_67'>67</a>, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">begging and thieving in, <a href='#Page_70'>70</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Short view of the State of, <a href='#Page_83'>83-91</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">importation of cattle into England prohibited, <a href='#Page_86'>86</a>, <a href='#Page_100'>100</a>, <a href='#Page_110'>110</a>, <a href='#Page_221'>221</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">encouragement of the linen manufactures in, <a href='#Page_102'>102</a>, <a href='#Page_158'>158</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">luxury and extravagance among the women in, <a href='#Page_124'>124</a>, <a href='#Page_139'>139</a>, <a href='#Page_198'>198</a>, <a href='#Page_199'>199</a>, <a href='#Page_219'>219</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">condition of the roads in, <a href='#Page_130'>130</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">bad management of the bogs in, <a href='#Page_131'>131</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">dishonesty of tradesmen in, <a href='#Page_142'>142</a>, <a href='#Page_147'>147</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">the National Debt of, <a href='#Page_196'>196</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">famine in, <a href='#Page_203'>203</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">population of, <a href='#Page_208'>208</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">persecution of Roman Catholics in, <a href='#Page_263'>263</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish brogue, the, <a href='#Page_346'>346</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish eloquence, <a href='#Page_361'>361</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish language, proposal to abolish the, <a href='#Page_133'>133</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Irish peers, titles of, <a href='#Page_349'>349</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Japan, Account of the Court and Empire of, <a href='#Page_382'>382-391</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">King, Archbishop, <a href='#Page_21'>21</a>, <a href='#Page_119'>119</a>, <a href='#Page_136'>136</a>, <a href='#Page_244'>244</a>, <a href='#Page_326'>326</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lindsay, Robert, <a href='#Page_259'>259</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Linen trade in Ireland, the, <a href='#Page_88'>88</a>, <a href='#Page_102'>102</a>, <a href='#Page_158'>158</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Littleton, Sir Thomas, <a href='#Page_7'>7</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lorrain, Paul, ordinary of Newgate, <a href='#Page_34'>34</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Macarrell, John, <a href='#Page_310'>310</a>, <a href='#Page_311'>311</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">McCulla's Project about halfpence, <a href='#Page_179'>179-190</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Manufactures, Irish, Proposal for the Universal use of, <a href='#Page_17'>17-30</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Proposal that all Ladies should appear constantly in, <a href='#Page_193'>193-199</a>.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>See also</i> "Woollen Manufactures."</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mar, Earl of, <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Maxwell, Henry, his pamphlets in favour of a bank in Ireland, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Mist, Nathaniel, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">National Debt, Proposal to pay off the, <a href='#Page_251'>251-258</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Navigation Act, the effect of, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_66'>66</a>, <a href='#Page_86'>86</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Norton, Richard, <a href='#Page_301'>301</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Orange, the squeezing of the," <a href='#Page_275'>275</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Penn, William, <a href='#Page_120'>120</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Perron, Cardinal, anecdote of, <a href='#Page_238'>238</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Peterborough, Lord, letter of Swift to, April 28, 1726, <a href='#Page_154'>154-156</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Phipps, Sir Constantine, <a href='#Page_244'>244</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Pistorides" (Richard Tighe), <a href='#Page_233'>233</a>, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Poor, Considerations about maintaining the, <a href='#Page_339'>339-342</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Poyning's Law, <a href='#Page_103'>103</a>, <a href='#Page_105'>105</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Psalmanazar, George, his Description of the Island of Formosa, <a href='#Page_211'>211</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Pulteney, William, the "Craftsman" founded by, <a href='#Page_219'>219</a>, <a href='#Page_375'>375</a>;</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_403" id="Page_403">[Pg 403]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 2em;">"Answer of, to Robert Walpole," <a href='#Page_392'>392-400</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Quilca, life at, <a href='#Page_74'>74</a>, <a href='#Page_75'>75-77</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Rents, raising of, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_163'>163</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Roads, in Ireland, condition of the, <a href='#Page_130'>130</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Roman Catholics, legislation against, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">petty persecution of, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_263'>263</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Rowley, Hercules, his pamphlets against the establishment of a bank in Ireland, <a href='#Page_38'>38</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Savoy, Duke of, <a href='#Page_277'>277</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Scotland, description of, <a href='#Page_97'>97</a>, <a href='#Page_98'>98</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Scots in Sweden, <a href='#Page_9'>9</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Scottish colonists in Ulster, <a href='#Page_104'>104</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sheridan, Dr. Thomas, <a href='#Page_74'>74</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his account of the state of Ireland, <a href='#Page_26'>26-30</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">given a chaplaincy by Carteret, <a href='#Page_232'>232</a>, <a href='#Page_241'>241</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">anecdote of Carteret, related by, <a href='#Page_232'>232</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">informed against by Tighe, <a href='#Page_233'>233</a>, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Stanley, Sir John, Commissioner of Customs, <a href='#Page_197'>197</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Stannard, Eaton, elected Recorder of Dublin, <a href='#Page_319'>319</a>, <a href='#Page_366'>366</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Stopford, Dr. James, Bishop of Cloyne, <a href='#Page_243'>243</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Street cries explained, <a href='#Page_268'>268-270</a>, <a href='#Page_275'>275-281</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Swan, Mr., <a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Swandlingbar, origin of the name of, <a href='#Page_347'>347</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Swearer's Bank, the, <a href='#Page_41'>41</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Swift, Godwin, <a href='#Page_347'>347</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Swift, Jonathan, the freedom of the City of Dublin conferred on, <a href='#Page_168'>168</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his speech on the occasion, <a href='#Page_169'>169-172</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">confesses the authorship of the "Drapier's Letters," <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">born in Dublin, <a href='#Page_267'>267</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his opposition to Archbishop Boulter, <a href='#Page_353'>353</a>, <a href='#Page_354'>354</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his speech on the lowering of the coin, <a href='#Page_357'>357</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his efforts in behalf of Mr. Dunkin, <a href='#Page_364'>364-368</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">receives the freedom of the City of Cork, <a href='#Page_367'>367</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">appoints Dr. Wynne Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, <a href='#Page_370'>370</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Temple, Sir William, his comparison of Holland and Ireland, <a href='#Page_164'>164</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Test Act, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_2'>2</a>, <a href='#Page_5'>5</a> <i>et seq.</i></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Thompson, Edward, Commissioner of the Revenue in Ireland, <a href='#Page_315'>315</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tickell, T., <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tighe, Richard, informs against Sheridan, <a href='#Page_74'>74</a>, <a href='#Page_233'>233</a>, <a href='#Page_242'>242</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">attacks Carteret, <a href='#Page_228'>228</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">ridiculed as "Pistorides," <a href='#Page_233'>233</a>, <a href='#Page_235'>235</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Traulus" (Lord Allen), <a href='#Page_176'>176</a>, <a href='#Page_236'>236</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Trees, planting of, in Ireland, <a href='#Page_132'>132</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Violante, Madam, <a href='#Page_234'>234</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wallis, Dr., <a href='#Page_280'>280</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Walpole, Sir Robert, interview of Swift with, in 1726, <a href='#Page_153'>153</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his views on Ireland, <a href='#Page_154'>154</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">satire on, <a href='#Page_276'>276</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">his literary assistants, <a href='#Page_379'>379</a>, <a href='#Page_393'>393</a> <i>et seq.</i>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">character of, <a href='#Page_384'>384</a> <i>et seq.</i></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Waters, Edward, Swift's printer, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whitshed, Lord Chief Justice, <a href='#Page_14'>14</a>, <a href='#Page_86'>86</a>, <a href='#Page_115'>115</a>, <a href='#Page_129'>129</a>, <a href='#Page_171'>171</a>, <a href='#Page_193'>193</a>, <a href='#Page_194'>194</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wine, proposed tax on, <a href='#Page_196'>196</a>, <a href='#Page_197'>197</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wool, Irish, exportation of, forbidden by law, <a href='#Page_17'>17</a>, <a href='#Page_18'>18</a>, <a href='#Page_110'>110</a>, <a href='#Page_111'>111</a>, <a href='#Page_157'>157</a>, <a href='#Page_158'>158</a>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">effect of the prohibition on England, <a href='#Page_160'>160</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Woollen manufactures, Irish people should use their own, <a href='#Page_137'>137</a> <i>et seq.</i>;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Observations on the case of the, <a href='#Page_147'>147-150</a>.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wynne, Rev. Dr. John, Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, <a href='#Page_370'>370</a>.</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_404" id="Page_404">[Pg 404]</a></span></p> + +<p><br /><br /><br /></p> + +<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> "Unpublished Letters of Swift," edited by Dr. Birkbeck +Hill, 1899.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Mr. Murray's MSS., quoted by Craik.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> It appeared almost impossible for Swift to see the +injustice of this test clause. In reality, it had been the outcome of +the legislation against the Irish Roman Catholics. In 1703 the Irish +parliament had passed a bill by which it was enacted, "that all estates +should be equally divided among the children of Roman Catholics, +notwithstanding any settlements to the contrary, unless the persons to +whom they were to descend, would qualify, by taking the oaths prescribed +by government, and conform to the established church" (Crawford's +"History of Ireland," 1783, vol. ii., p. 256). The bill was transmitted +to England, for approval there, at a time when Anne was asking the +Emperor for his indulgence towards the Protestants of his realms. This +placed the Queen in an awkward position, since she could hardly expect +indulgence from a Roman Catholic monarch towards Protestants when she, a +Protestant monarch, was persecuting Roman Catholics. To obviate this +dilemma, the Queen's ministers added a clause to the bill, "by which all +persons in Ireland were rendered incapable of any employment under the +crown, or, of being magistrates in any city, who, agreeably to the +English test act, did not receive the sacrament as prescribed by the +Church of England" (<i>ibid.</i>). Under this clause, of course, came all the +Protestant Dissenters, including the Presbyterians "from the north." The +bill so amended passed into law; but its iniquitous influence was a +disgrace to the legislators of the day, and his advocacy of it, however +much he was convinced of its expediency, proves Swift a shortsighted +statesman wherever the enemies of the Church of England were concerned. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Colonel John Birch (1616-1691) was of Lancashire. Swift +calls him "of Herefordshire," because he had been appointed governor of +the city of Hereford, after he had captured it by a stratagem, in 1654. +Devotedly attached to Presbyterian principles, Birch was a man of shrewd +business abilities and remarkable oratorical gifts. On the restoration +of Charles II., in which he took a prominent part on account of +Charles's championship of Presbyterianism, Birch held important business +posts. He sat in parliament for Leominster and Penrhyn, and his plans +for the rebuilding of London after the Great Fire, though they were not +adopted, were yet such as would have been extremely salutary had they +been accepted. Of his eloquence, Burnet says: "He was the roughest and +boldest speaker in the house, and talked in the language and phrases of +a carrier, but with a beauty and eloquence, that was always acceptable." +The reference to the carrier is purposely made, since Birch did not hide +the fact that he had once pursued that occupation. Swift was twenty-four +years of age when Birch died, so that he must have been a very young man +when he heard Birch make the remark he quotes. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> Sir Thomas Littleton (1647?-1710) was chosen Speaker of the +English House of Commons by the junto in 1698. Onslow, in a note to +Burnet's "History," speaks of the good work he did as treasurer of the +navy. Macky describes him as "a stern-looked man, with a brown +complexion, well shaped" (see "Characters"). At the time of Swift's +writing the above letter, Littleton was member for Portsmouth. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Viscount Molesworth, in his "Considerations for promoting +the Agriculture of Ireland" (1723), pointed out, that even with the +added expense of freight, it was cheaper to import corn from England, +than to grow it in Ireland itself. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> Mr. Lecky points out that in England, after the Revolution, +the councils were directed by commercial influence. At that time there +was an important woollen industry in England which, it was feared, the +growing Irish woollen manufactures would injure. The English +manufacturers petitioned for their total destruction, and the House of +Lords, in response to the petition, represented to the King that "the +growing manufacture of cloth in Ireland, both by the cheapness of all +sorts of necessaries of life, and goodness of materials for making all +manner of cloth, doth invite your subjects of England, with their +families and servants, to leave their habitations to settle there, to +the increase of the woollen manufacture in Ireland, which makes your +loyal subjects in this kingdom very apprehensive that the further growth +of it may greatly prejudice the said manufacture here." The Commons went +further, and suggested the advisability of discouraging the industry by +hindering the exportation of wool from Ireland to other countries and +limiting it to England alone. The Act of 10 and 11 Will. III. c. 10, +made the suggestion law and even prohibited entirely the exportation of +Irish wool anywhere. Thus, as Swift puts it, "the politic gentlemen of +Ireland have depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding +of sheep." See notes to later tracts in this volume on "Observations on +the Woollen Manufactures" and "Letter on the Weavers." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> That Swift did not exaggerate may be gathered from the +statute books, and, more immediately, from Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland" (1779), Arthur Dobbs's "Trade and Improvement of +Ireland," Lecky's "History of Ireland," vols. i. and ii., and Monck +Mason's notes in his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 320 <i>et +seq.</i> [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Barnstaple was, at that time, the chief market in England +for Irish wool. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> In 1726, Swift presented some pieces of Irish manufactured +silk to the Princess of Wales and to Mrs. Howard. In sending the silk to +Mrs. Howard he wrote also a letter in which he remarked: "I beg you will +not tell any parliament man from whence you had that plaid; otherwise, +out of malice, they will make a law to cut off all our weavers' +fingers." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> This last sentence is as the original edition has it. In +Faulkner's first collected edition and in the fifth volume of the +"Miscellanies" (London, 1735), the following occurs in its place: "I +must confess, that as to the former, I should not be sorry if they would +stay at home; and for the latter, I hope, in a little time we shall have +no occasion for them." +</p><p> +Swift knew what he was advising when he suggested that the people of +Ireland should not import their goods from England. He was well aware +that English manufactures were not really necessary. Sir William Petty +had, a half century before, pointed out that a third of the manufactures +then imported into Ireland could be produced by its own factories, +another third could as easily and as cheaply be obtained from countries +other than England, and "consequently, that it was scarce necessary at +all for Ireland to receive any goods of England, and not convenient to +receive above one-fourth part, from thence, of the whole which it +needeth to import" ("Polit. Anatomy of Ireland," 1672). [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" (London, 1735) print, +instead of, "as any prelate in Christendom," the words, "as if he had +not been born among us." The Archbishop was Dr. William King, with whom +Swift had had much correspondence. See "Letters" in Scott's edition +(1824). +</p><p> +Dr. William King, who succeeded Narcissus Marsh as Archbishop of Dublin +in March, 1702-3. Swift had not always been on friendly terms with King, +but, at this time, they were in sympathy as to the wrongs and grievances +of Ireland. King strongly supported the agitation against Wood's +halfpence, but later, when he attempted to interfere with the affairs of +the Deanery of St. Patrick's, Swift and he came to an open rupture. See +also volume on the Drapier's Letters, in this edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" of 1735 print this amount +as "three thousand six hundred." This was the sum paid by the +lord-lieutenant to the lords-justices, who represented him in the +government of Ireland. The lord-lieutenant himself did not then, as the +viceroy of Ireland does now, take up his residence in the country. +Although in receipt of a large salary, he only came to Dublin to deliver +the speeches at the openings of parliament, or on some other special +occasion. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> The Dublin edition of this pamphlet has a note stating +that Cotter was a gentleman of Cork who was executed for committing a +rape on a Quaker. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> Said to be Colonel Bladon (1680-1746), who translated the +Commentaries of Cæsar. He was a dependant of the Duke of Marlborough, to +whom he dedicated this translation. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> Lord Grimston. William Luckyn, first Viscount Grimston +(1683-1756), was created an Irish peer with the title Baron Dunboyne in +1719. The full title of the play to which Swift refers, is "The Lawyer's +Fortune, or, Love in a Hollow Tree." It was published in 1705. Swift +refers to Grimston in his verses "On Poetry, a Rhapsody." Pope, in one +of his satires, calls him "booby lord." Grimston withdrew his play from +circulation after the second edition, but it was reprinted in Rotterdam +in 1728 and in London in 1736. Dr. Johnson told Chesterfield a story +which made the Duchess of Marlborough responsible for this London +reprint, which had for frontispiece the picture of an ass wearing a +coronet. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> The original edition prints "ministers" instead of "chief +governors." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_18_18" id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label">[18]</span></a> In 1720 Bishop Nicholson of Derry, writing to the +Archbishop of Canterbury, describes the wretched condition of the towns +and the country districts, and the misery of their population: +</p><p> +"Our trade of all kind is at a stand, insomuch as that our most eminent +merchants, who used to pay bills of 1,000<i>l.</i> at sight, are hardly able +to raise 100<i>l.</i> in so many days. Spindles of yarn (our daily bread) are +fallen from 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to 15<i>d.</i>, and everything also in proportion. +Our best beef (as good as I ever ate in England) is sold under 3/4<i>d.</i> a +pound, and all this not from any extraordinary plenty of commodities, +but from a perfect dearth of money. Never did I behold even in Picardy, +Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want as +appeared in the countenances of most of the poor creatures I met with on +the road." (Brit. Mus. Add. MSS. 6116, quoted by Lecky.) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_19_19" id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label">[19]</span></a> The "absentee" landlord was an evil to Ireland on which +much has been written. It was difficult to keep the country in order +when the landed proprietors took so little interest in their possessions +as to do nothing but exact rents from their tenants and spend the money +so obtained in England. Two, and even three, hundred years before +Swift's day "absenteeism" had been the cause of much of the rebellion in +Ireland which harassed the English monarchs, who endeavoured to put a +stop to the evil by confiscating the estates of such landlords. Acts +were passed by Richard II. and Henry VIII. to this effect; but in later +times, the statutes were ignored and not enforced, and the Irish +landlord, in endeavours to obtain for himself social recognition and +standing in England which, because of his Irish origin, were denied him, +remained in England indulging himself in lavish expenditure and display. +The consequences of this were the impoverishment of his estates and +their eventual management by rack-renters. These rack-renters, whose +only interest lay in squeezing money out of the impoverished tenants, +became the bane of the agricultural holder. +</p><p> +Unfortunately, the spirit of "absenteeism" extended itself to the +holders of offices in Ireland, and even the lord-lieutenant rarely took +up his residence in Dublin for any time longer than necessitated by the +immediate demands of his installation and speech-making, although he +drew his emoluments from the Irish revenues. In the "List of Absentees" +instances are given where men appointed to Irish offices would land on +Saturday night, receive the sacrament on Sunday, take the oath in court +on Monday morning, and be on their way back to England by Monday +afternoon. +</p><p> +It has been calculated that out of a total rental of £1,800,000, as much +as 33-1/3 per cent. was sent out of the country. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_20_20" id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label">[20]</span></a> Sheridan, in the sixth number of "The Intelligencer," +contributes an account of the state of Ireland, written to the text, "O +patria! O divûm domus!" +</p><p> +"When I travel through any part of this unhappy kingdom, and I have now +by several excursions made from Dublin, gone through most counties of +it, it raises two passions in my breast of a different kind; an +indignation against those vile betrayers and insulters of it, who +insinuate themselves into favour, by saying, it is a rich nation; and a +sincere passion for the natives, who are sunk to the lowest degree of +misery and poverty, whose houses are dunghills, whose victuals are the +blood of their cattle, or the herbs in the field; and whose clothing, to +the dishonour of God and man, is nakedness. Yet notwithstanding all the +dismal appearances, it is the common phrase of our upstart race of +people, who have suddenly sprang up like the dragon's teeth among us, +<i>That Ireland was never known to be so rich as it is now</i>; by which, as +I apprehend, they can only mean themselves, for they have skipped over +the channel from the vantage ground of a dunghill upon no other merit, +either visible or divineable, than that of not having been born among +us. +</p><p> +"This is the modern way of planting Colonies—Et ubi solitudinem +faciunt, id Imperium vocant. When those who are so unfortunate to be +born here, are excluded from the meanest preferments, and deemed +incapable of being entertained even as common soldiers, whose poor +stipend is but four pence a day. No trade, no emoluments, no +encouragement for learning among the natives, who yet by a perverse +consequence are divided into factions, with as much violence and +rancour, as if they had the wealth of the Indies to contend for. It puts +me in mind of a fable which I read in a monkish author. He quotes for it +one of the Greek mythologists that once upon a time a colony of large +dogs (called the Molossi) transplanted themselves from Epirus to Ætolia, +where they seized those parts of the countries, most fertile in flesh of +all kinds, obliging the native dogs to retire from their best kennels, +to live under ditches and bushes, but to preserve good neighbourhood and +peace; and finding likewise, that the Ætolian dogs might be of some use +in the low offices of life, they passed a decree, that the natives +should be entitled to the short ribs, tops of back, knuckle-bones, and +guts of all the game, which they were obliged by their masters to run +down. This condition was accepted, and what was a little singular, while +the Molossian dogs kept a good understanding among themselves, living in +peace and luxury, these Ætolian curs were perpetually snarling, +growling, barking and tearing at each other's throats: Nay, sometimes +those of the best quality among them, were seen to quarrel with as much +rancour for a rotten gut, as if it had been a fat haunch of venison. But +what need we wonder at this in dogs, when the same is every day +practised among men? +</p><p> +"Last year I travelled from Dublin to Dundalk, through a country +esteemed the most fruitful part of the kingdom, and so nature intended +it. But no ornaments or improvements of such a scene were visible. No +habitation fit for gentlemen, no farmers' houses, few fields of corn, +and almost a bare face of nature, without new plantations of any kind, +only a few miserable cottages, at three or four miles' distance, and one +Church in the centre between this city and Drogheda. When I arrived at +this last town, the first mortifying sight was the ruins of several +churches, battered down by that usurper, Cromwell, whose fanatic zeal +made more desolation in a few days, than the piety of succeeding +prelates or the wealth of the town have, in more than sixty years, +attempted to repair. +</p><p> +"Perhaps the inhabitants, through a high strain of virtue, have, in +imitation of the Athenians, made a solemn resolution, never to rebuild +those sacred edifices, but rather leave them in ruins, as monuments, to +perpetuate the detestable memory of that hellish instrument of +rebellion, desolation, and murder. For the Athenians, when Mardonius had +ravaged a great part of Greece, took a formal oath at the Isthmus, to +lose their lives rather than their liberty, to stand by their leaders to +the last, to spare the cities of such barbarians as they conquered. And +what crowned all, the conclusion of their oath was, We will never repair +any of the Temples, which they have burned and destroyed, lest they may +appear to posterity as so many monuments of these wicked barbarians. +This was a glorious resolution; and I am sorry to think, that the +poverty of my countrymen will not let the world suppose, they have acted +upon such a generous principle; yet upon this occasion I cannot but +observe, that there is a fatality in some nations, to be fond of those +who have treated them with the least humanity. Thus I have often heard +the memory of Cromwell, who has depopulated, and almost wholly destroyed +this miserable country, celebrated like that of a saint, and at the same +time the sufferings of the royal martyr turned into ridicule, and his +murder justified even from the pulpit, and all this done with an intent +to gain favour, under a monarchy; which is a new strain of politics that +I shall not pretend to account for. +</p><p> +"Examine all the eastern towns of Ireland, and you will trace this +horrid instrument of destruction, in defacing of Churches, and +particularly in destroying whatever was ornamental, either within or +without them. We see in the several towns a very few houses scattered +among the ruins of thousands, which he laid level with their streets; +great numbers of castles, the country seats of gentlemen then in being, +still standing in ruin, habitations for bats, daws, and owls, without +the least repairs or succession of other buildings. Nor have the country +churches, as far as my eye could reach, met with any better treatment +from him, nine in ten of them lying among their graves and God only +knows when they are to have a resurrection. When I passed from Dundalk +where this cursed usurper's handy work is yet visible, I cast mine eyes +around from the top of a mountain, from whence I had a wide and a waste +prospect of several venerable ruins. It struck me with a melancholy, not +unlike that expressed by Cicero in one of his letters which being much +upon the like prospect, and concluding with a very necessary reflection +on the uncertainty of things in this world, I shall here insert a +translation of what he says: 'In my return from Asia, as I sailed from +Ægina, towards Megara, I began to take a prospect of the several +countries round me. Behind me was Ægina; before me Megara; on the right +hand the Piræus; and on the left was Corinth; which towns were formerly +in a most flourishing condition; now they lie prostrate and in ruin. +</p><p> +"'Thus I began to think with myself: Shall we who have but a trifling +existence, express any resentment, when one of us either dies a natural +death, or is slain, whose lives are necessarily of a short duration, +when at one view I beheld the carcases of so many great cities?' What if +he had seen the natives of those free republics, reduced to all the +miserable consequences of a conquered people, living without the common +defences against hunger and cold, rather appearing like spectres than +men? I am apt to think, that seeing his fellow creatures in ruin like +this, it would have put him past all patience for philosophic +reflection. +</p><p> +"As for my own part, I confess, that the sights and occurrences which I +had in this my last journey, so far transported me to a mixture of rage +and compassion, that I am not able to decide, which had the greater +influence upon my spirits; for this new cant, of a rich and flourishing +nation, was still uppermost in my thoughts; every mile I travelled, +giving me such ample demonstrations to the contrary. For this reason, I +have been at the pains to render a most exact and faithful account of +all the visible signs of riches, which I met with in sixty miles' riding +through the most public roads, and the best part of the kingdom. First, +as to trade, I met nine cars loaden with old musty, shrivelled hides; +one car-load of butter; four jockeys driving eight horses, all out of +case; one cow and calf driven by a man and his wife; six tattered +families flitting to be shipped off to the West Indies; a colony of a +hundred and fifty beggars, all repairing to people our metropolis, and +by encreasing the number of hands, to encrease its wealth, upon the old +maxim, that people are the riches of a nation, and therefore ten +thousand mouths, with hardly ten pair of hands, or hardly any work to +employ them, will infallibly make us a rich and flourishing people. +Secondly, Travellers enough, but seven in ten wanting shirts and +cravats; nine in ten going bare foot, and carrying their brogues and +stockings in their hands; one woman in twenty having a pillion, the rest +riding bare backed: Above two hundred horsemen, with four pair of boots +amongst them all; seventeen saddles of leather (the rest being made of +straw) and most of their garrons only shod before. I went into one of +the principal farmer's houses, out of curiosity, and his whole furniture +consisted of two blocks for stools, a bench on each side the fire-place +made of turf, six trenchers, one bowl, a pot, six horn spoons, three +noggins, three blankets, one of which served the man and maid servant; +the other the master of the family, his wife and five children; a small +churn, a wooden candlestick, a broken stick for a pair of tongs. In the +public towns, one third of the inhabitants walking the streets bare +foot; windows half built up with stone, to save the expense of glass, +the broken panes up and down supplied by brown paper, few being able to +afford white; in some places they were stopped with straw or hay. +Another mark of our riches, are the signs at the several inns upon the +road, viz. In some, a staff stuck in the thatch, with a turf at the end +of it; a staff in a dunghill with a white rag wrapped about the head; a +pole, where they can afford it, with a besom at the top; an oatmeal cake +on a board at the window; and, at the principal inns of the road, I have +observed the signs taken down and laid against the wall near the door, +being taken from their post to prevent the shaking of the house down by +the wind. In short, I saw not one single house, in the best town I +travelled through, which had not manifest appearances of beggary and +want. I could give many more instances of our wealth, but I hope these +will suffice for the end I propose. +</p><p> +"It may be objected, what use it is of to display the poverty of the +nation, in the manner I have done. I answer, I desire to know for what +ends, and by what persons, this new opinion of our flourishing state has +of late been so industriously advanced: One thing is certain, that the +advancers have either already found their own account, or have been +heartily promised, or at least have been entertained with hopes, by +seeing such an opinion pleasing to those who have it in their power to +reward. +</p><p> +"It is no doubt a very generous principle in any person to rejoice in +the felicities of a nation, where themselves are strangers or +sojourners: But if it be found that the same persons on all other +occasions express a hatred and contempt of the nation and people in +general, and hold it for a maxim—'That the more such a country is +humbled, the more their own will rise'; it need be no longer a secret, +why such an opinion, and the advantages of it are encouraged. And +besides, if the bayliff reports to his master, that the ox is fat and +strong, when in reality it can hardly carry its own legs, is it not +natural to think, that command will be given, for a greater load to be +put upon it?" [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_21_21" id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label">[21]</span></a> This was a project for the establishment of a national +bank for Ireland. Swift ridiculed the proposal (see p. 31), no doubt, +out of suspicion of the acts of stock-jobbers and the monied interests +which were enlisted on the side of the Whigs. His experience, also, of +the abortive South Sea Schemes would tend to make his opposition all the +stronger. But the plans for the bank were not ill-conceived, and had +Swift been in calmer temper he might have seen the advantages which +attached to the proposals. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_22_22" id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label">[22]</span></a> Thus in original edition. In Faulkner and the +"Miscellanies" of 1735 the words are, "altogether imaginary." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_23_23" id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label">[23]</span></a> The motto round a crown piece, which was the usual price +of permits. [<i>Orig. edit.</i>]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_24_24" id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label">[24]</span></a> The Dean of St. Patrick's. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_25_25" id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label">[25]</span></a> Paul Lorrain, who was appointed ordinary of Newgate in +1698, compiled numerous confessions and dying speeches of prisoners +condemned to be hanged. A letter to Swift, from Pope and Bolingbroke, +dated December, 1725, mentions him as "the great historiographer," and +Steele, in the "Tatler" and "Spectator," refers to "Lorrain's Saints." +Lorrain attended some famous criminals to the scaffold, including +Captain Kidd and Jack Sheppard. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_26_26" id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label">[26]</span></a> The following is an account of the proceedings of both the +houses of the Irish parliament upon the subject of this proposed bank. +</p><p> +In the year 1720, James, Earl of Abercorn, Gustavus, Viscount Boyne, Sir +Ralph Gore, Bart., Oliver St. George, and Michael Ward, Esqs., in behalf +of themselves and others, presented a petition to his Majesty for a +charter of incorporation, whereby they might be established as a bank, +under the name and title of the Bank of Ireland. They proposed to raise +a fund of £500,000 to supply merchants, etc., with money at five per +cent., and agreed to contribute £50,000 to the service of government in +consideration of their obtaining a charter. In their petition they +state, that "the raising of a million for that purpose is creating a +greater fund than the nation can employ." Soon after the above-mentioned +petition was lodged, a second application was made by Lord Forbes and +others, who proposed raising a million for that purpose, and offered to +discharge "the £50,000 national debt of that kingdom, in five years from +the time they should obtain a charter." The latter application, being +subsequent in point of date, was withdrawn, Lord Forbes and his friends +having acquainted the Lord-lieutenant that, "rather than, by a +competition, obstruct a proposal of so general advantage, they were +willing to desist from their application." The former was accordingly +approved of, and the King, on the 29th of July, 1721, issued letters of +Privy Seal, directing that a charter of incorporation should pass the +Great Seal of Ireland. ("Comm. Journ.," vol. iii, Appendix ix, page cc, +etc.) +</p><p> +When the parliament of Ireland met, on the 12th of September following, +the Duke of Grafton, lord lieutenant, in his speech from the throne, +communicated the intention of his Majesty to both houses, and concluded +by saying, "As this is a matter of general and national concern, his +Majesty leaves it to the wisdom of Parliament to consider what +advantages the public may receive by erecting a bank, and in what manner +it may be settled upon a safe foundation, so as to be beneficial to the +kingdom." The commons, in their address, which was voted unanimously on +the 14th, expressed their gratitude for his Majesty's goodness and royal +favour in directing a commission to establish a bank, and on the 21st +moved for the papers to be laid before them; they even, on the 29th, +agreed to the following resolution of the committee they had appointed, +"that the establishment of a bank upon a solid and good foundation, +under proper regulations and restrictions, will contribute to restoring +of credit, and support of the trade and manufacture of the kingdom;" +but, when the heads of a bill for establishing the bank came to be +discussed, a strenuous opposition was raised to it. On the 9th of +December Sir Thomas Taylor, chairman of the committee to whom the matter +had been referred, reported "that they had gone through the first +enacting paragraph, and disagreed to the same." Accordingly, the +question being proposed and put, the house (after a division, wherein +there appeared 150 for the question and 80 against it) voted that "they +could not find any safe foundation for establishing a public bank," and +resolved that an address, conformable to this resolution, should be +presented to the lord-lieutenant. (Comm. Journ., vol. iii, pp. +247-289.) +</p><p> +The proceedings of the House of Lords resembled that of the Commons; on +the 8th of November they concurred with the resolution of their +committee, which was unfavourable to the establishment of a bank. A +protest was, however, entered, signed by four temporal and two spiritual +peers, and when an address to his Majesty, grounded on that resolution, +was proposed, a long debate ensued, which occupied two days. On the 9th +December a list of the subscriptions was called for, and on the 16th +they resolved, that if any lord, spiritual or temporal, should attempt +to obtain a charter to erect a bank, "he should be deemed a contemnor of +the authority of that house, and a betrayer of the liberty of his +country." They ordered, likewise, that this resolution should be +presented by the chancellor to the lord lieutenant. ("Lord's Journal," +vol. ii, pp. 687-720.) <i>Monck Mason's "Hist. St. Patrick's Cathedral</i>," +p. 325, note 3. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_27_27" id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label">[27]</span></a> The title, Esquire, according to a high authority, was +anciently applied "to the younger sons of nobility and their heirs in +the immediate line, to the eldest sons of knights and their heirs, to +the esquire of the knights and others of that rank in his Majesty's +service, and to such as had eminent employment in the Commonwealth, and +were not knighted, such as judges, sheriffs, and justices of the peace +during their offices, and some others. But now," says Sir Edward Walker, +"in the days of Charles I., the addition is so increased, that he is a +very poor and inconsiderable person who writes himself less." +</p><p> +Accordingly, most of the signatures for shares in the projected National +Bank of Ireland, were dignified with the addition of Esquire, which, +added to the obscurity of the subscribers, incurs the ridicule of our +author in the following treatise. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_28_28" id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label">[28]</span></a> <span class="smcap">Subscribers to the Bank, placed according to their +order and quality, with Notes and Queries.</span> +</p><p> +A true and exact account of the nobility, gentry, and traders, of the +kingdom of Ireland, who, upon mature deliberation, are of opinion, that +the establishing a bank upon real security, would be highly for the +advantage of the trade of the said kingdom, and for increasing the +current species of money in the same. Extracted from the list of the +subscribers to the Bank of Ireland, published by order of the +commissioners appointed to receive subscriptions.</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="AN EXACT ACCOUNT OF THE NOBILITY"> +<tr><th><i>Nobility.</i></th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Archbishops</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Marquisses</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Earls</td><td align='right'>0</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Viscounts</td><td align='right'>3</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Barons</td><td align='right'>1</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Bishops</td><td align='right'>2</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>French Baron</td><td align='right'>1</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>N.B.: The temporal Lords of Ireland are 125, the Bishops 22. In all 147, +exclusive of the aforesaid French Count.</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="AN ACCOUNT OF THE TEMPORAL LORDS"> +<tr><th><i>Gentry</i>.</th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Baronets</td><td align='right'>1</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Knights</td><td align='right'>1</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>N.B. Total of baronets and knights in Ireland uncertain; but in common +computation supposed to be more than two. +</p><p> +Members of the House of Commons—41. One whereof reckoned before amongst +the two knights. +</p><p> +N.B. Number of Commoners in all 300. +</p><p> +Esquires not Members of Parliament—37 +</p><p> +N.B. There are at least 20 of the said 37 Esquires whose names are +little known, and whose qualifications as Esqrs. are referred to the king +at arms; and the said king is desired to send to the publisher hereof a +true account of the whole number of such real or reputed Esqrs. as are to +be found in this kingdom.</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="LITTLE KNOWN ESQUIRES"> +<tr><th><i>Clergy</i>.</th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Deans</td><td align='right'>1</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Arch-Deacons</td><td align='right'>2</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Rectors</td><td align='right'>3</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Curates</td><td align='right'>2</td></tr> +</table></div> + +<p>N.B. Of this number one French dean, one French curate, and one +bookseller. +</p><p> +Officers not members of Parliament—16 +</p><p> +N.B. Of the above number 10 French; but uncertain whether on whole or +half pay, broken, or of the militia.</p> + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="BREAKDOWN OF THE 8 FEMALE SUBSCRIBERS"> +<tr><th><i>Women.</i></th></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Ladies</td><td align='right'>1</td><td align='left'> </td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Widows</td><td align='right'>3</td><td align='right'> whereof one qualified to be deputy-governor.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>Maidens</td><td align='right'>4</td><td align='left'> </td></tr> +</table></div> + +N.B. It being uncertain in what class to place the eight female +subscribers, whether in that of nobility, gentry, &c. it is thought +proper to insert them here betwixt the officers and traders. + +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" width="90%" cellspacing="0" summary="PLACING THE FEMALES BETWIXT OFFICERS AND TRADERS"> +<tr><td> </td> +<td align="center" rowspan="4" valign="top" style="white-space: nowrap"> + </td> + <td valign="bottom" class="tdright" rowspan="4" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 40pt"> + {</td><td> </td><td> </td></tr> +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Dublin</td> +<td>1</td> +<td>a Frenchman</td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td>Aldermen of</td> +<td>Cork</td> +<td>1</td> +<td> </td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td>Limerick</td> +<td>1</td> +<td> </td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td>Waterford</td> +<td>0</td> +<td> </td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td>Drogheda</td> +<td>0</td> +<td> </td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td> </td> +<td>&co</td> +<td>0</td> +<td> </td> +</tr> +</table> + + +<p>Merchants 29, <i>viz.</i> 10 French, of London 1, of Cork 1, of Belfast 1. +</p><p> +N.B. The place of abode of three of the said merchants, <i>viz.</i> of +London, Cork and Belfast, being mentioned, the publisher desires to know +where the rest may be wrote to, and whether they deal in wholesale or +retail, <i>viz.</i> +</p><p> +Master dealers, &c. 59, cashiers 1, bankers 4, chemist 1, player 1, +Popish vintner 1, bricklayer 1, chandler 1, doctors of physic 4, +chirurgeons 2, pewterer 1, attorneys 4 (besides one esq. attorney before +reckoned), Frenchmen 8, but whether pensioners, barbers, or markees, +uncertain. As to the rest of the M——rs, the publisher of this paper, +though he has used his utmost diligence, has not been able to get a +satisfactory account either as to their country, trade or profession. +</p><p> +N.B. The total of men, women and children in Ireland, besides Frenchmen, +is 2,000,000. Total of the land of Ireland acres 16,800,000. (Vide +Reasons for a Bank, &c.) +</p><p> +Quære, How many of the said acres are in possession of 1 French baron, 1 +French dean, 1 French curate, 1 French alderman, 10 French merchants, 8 +Messieurs Frances, 1 esq. projector, 1 esq. attorney, 6 officers of the +army, 8 women, 1 London merchant, 1 Cork merchant, 1 Belfast merchant, +18 merchants whose places of abode are not mentioned, 1 cashier, 4 +bankers, 1 gentleman projector, 1 player, 1 chemist, 1 Popish vintner, 1 +bricklayer, 1 chandler, 4 doctors of physic, 2 chirurgeons, 1 pewterer, +4 gentlemen attorneys, besides 28 gentleman dealers, yet unknown, <i>ut +supra</i>? +</p><p> +Dublin: Printed by John Harding in Molesworth's Court, in Fishamble +Street. (<i>Reprinted from original broadside, n.d.</i>)</p></div> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_29_29" id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label">[29]</span></a> In the capacity of a postillion, no doubt. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_30_30" id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label">[30]</span></a> Which means that she kept an eating-house or restaurant, +and became eventually a bankrupt. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_31_31" id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label">[31]</span></a> The livery of a footman. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_32_32" id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label">[32]</span></a> As a constable. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_33_33" id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label">[33]</span></a> An innkeeper. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_34_34" id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label">[34]</span></a> This paragraph is printed as given by Faulkner in ed. +1735, vol. iv. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_35_35" id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label">[35]</span></a> See note on Paul Lorrain, p. 34. It was the duty of the +Ordinary of a prison to compose such dying speeches. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_36_36" id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label">[36]</span></a> His parents were Dissenters, and gave him a good +education. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_37_37" id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label">[37]</span></a> Sir Henry Craik remarks on this title: "In modern language +this might well have been entitled, 'The theories of political economy +proved to have no application to Ireland.'" The word "controlled" is +used in the now obsolete sense of "confuted." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_38_38" id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label">[38]</span></a> Sir John Browne, in his "Scheme of the Money Matters of +Ireland" (Dublin, 1729), calculated that the total currency, including +paper, was about £914,000, but the author of "Considerations on +Seasonable Remarks" stated that the entire currency could not be more +than £600,000. Browne was no reliable authority; he is the writer to +whom Swift wrote a reply. See p. 122. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_39_39" id="Footnote_39_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_39_39"><span class="label">[39]</span></a> See "A Short View of the State of Ireland," p. 86. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_40_40" id="Footnote_40_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_40_40"><span class="label">[40]</span></a> Lecky refers to a remarkable letter written by an Irish +peer in the March of 1702, and preserved in the "Southwell +Correspondence" in the British Museum, in which the writer complains +that the money of the country is almost gone, and the poverty of the +towns so great that it was feared the Court mourning for the death of +William would be the final blow. (Lecky, vol. i., p. 181, 1892 ed.). +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_41_41" id="Footnote_41_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_41_41"><span class="label">[41]</span></a> Those of Charles II. and James II. in which, for political +reasons on the part of the Crown, Ireland was peculiarly favoured. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_42_42" id="Footnote_42_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_42_42"><span class="label">[42]</span></a> This was Dr. Nicholas Barbou, the friend of John Asgill +and author of two works on trade and money. After the Great Fire of +London he speculated largely in building, and greatly assisted in making +city improvements. He was the founder of fire insurance in England and +was active in land and bank speculations. He died in 1698, leaving a +will directing that none of his debts should be paid. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_43_43" id="Footnote_43_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_43_43"><span class="label">[43]</span></a> The beggars of Ireland are spoken of by Bishop Berkeley. +But Arthur Dobbs, in the second part of his "Essay on Trade," published +in 1731, gives a descriptive picture of the gangs who travelled over +Ireland as professional paupers. In the 2,295 parishes, there was in +each an average of at least ten beggars carrying on their trade the +whole year round; the total number of these wandering paupers he puts +down at over 34,000. Computing 30,000 of them able to work, and assuming +that each beggar could earn 4<i>d.</i> a day in a working year of 284 days, +he calculates that their idleness is a loss to the nation of £142,000. +(Pp. 444-445 of Thom's reprint; Dublin, 1861) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_44_44" id="Footnote_44_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_44_44"><span class="label">[44]</span></a> See Swift's terrible satire on the "Modest Proposal for +preventing Children of Poor People from being a burthen." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_45_45" id="Footnote_45_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_45_45"><span class="label">[45]</span></a> A small country village about seven miles from Kells. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_46_46" id="Footnote_46_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_46_46"><span class="label">[46]</span></a> Esther Johnson. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_47_47" id="Footnote_47_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_47_47"><span class="label">[47]</span></a> Stella's companion and Swift's housekeeper. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_48_48" id="Footnote_48_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_48_48"><span class="label">[48]</span></a> See Swift's "Directions to Servants." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_49_49" id="Footnote_49_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_49_49"><span class="label">[49]</span></a> By Acts 18 Charles II c. 2, and 32 Charles II c. 2, +enacted in 1665 and 1680, the importation into England from Ireland of +all cattle, sheep, swine, beef, pork, bacon, mutton, cheese and butter, +was absolutely prohibited. The land of Ireland being largely pasture +land and England being the chief and nearest market, these laws +practically destroyed the farming industry. The pernicious acts were +passed on complaint from English land proprietors that the competition +from Irish cattle had lowered their rents in England. "In this manner," +says Lecky, "the chief source of Irish prosperity was annihilated at a +single blow." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_50_50" id="Footnote_50_50"></a><a href="#FNanchor_50_50"><span class="label">[50]</span></a> The original Navigation Act treated Ireland on an equal +footing with England. The act, however, was succeeded in 1663 by that of +15 Charles II c. 7, in which it was declared that no European articles, +with few exceptions, could be imported into the colonies unless they had +been loaded in English-built vessels at English ports. Nor could goods +be brought from English colonies except to English ports. By the Acts 22 +and 23 of Charles II. c. 26 the exclusion of Ireland was confirmed, and +the Acts 7 and 8 of Will. III. c. 22, passed in 1696, actually +prohibited any goods whatever from being imported to Ireland direct from +the English colonies. These are the reasons for Swift's remark that +Ireland's ports were of no more use to Ireland's people "than a +beautiful prospect to a man shut up in a dungeon."<br />[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_51_51" id="Footnote_51_51"></a><a href="#FNanchor_51_51"><span class="label">[51]</span></a> See note on page 137 of vol. vi of this edition. "The +Drapier's Letters." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_52_52" id="Footnote_52_52"></a><a href="#FNanchor_52_52"><span class="label">[52]</span></a> Lecky quotes from the MSS. in the British Museum, from a +series of letters written by Bishop Nicholson, on his journey to Derry, +to the Archbishop of Canterbury. The quotation illustrates the truth of +Swift's remark. "Never did I behold," writes Nicholson, "even in +Picardy, Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want +as appeared in the countenances of the poor creatures I met with on the +road." In the "Intelligencer" (No. VI, 1728) Sheridan wrote: "The poor +are sunk to the lowest degrees of misery and poverty—their houses +dunghills, their victuals the blood of their cattle, or the herbs of the +field." Of the condition of the country thirty years later, the most +terrible of pictures is given by Burdy in his "Life of Skelton": "In +1757 a remarkable dearth prevailed in Ireland.... Mr. Skelton went out +into the country to discover the real state of his poor, and travelled +from cottage to cottage, over mountains, rocks, and heath.... In one +cabin he found the people eating boiled prushia [a weed with a yellow +flower that grows in cornfields] by itself for their breakfast, and +tasted this sorry food, which seemed nauseous to him. Next morning he +gave orders to have prushia gathered and boiled for his own breakfast, +that he might live on the same sort of food with the poor. He ate this +for one or two days; but at last his stomach turning against it, he set +off immediately for Ballyshannon to buy oatmeal for them.... One day, +when he was travelling in this manner through the country, he came to a +lonely cottage in the mountains, where he found a poor woman lying in +child-bed with a number of children about her. All she had, in her weak, +helpless condition to keep herself and her children alive, was blood and +sorrel boiled up together. The blood, her husband, who was a herdsman, +took from the cattle of others under his care, for he had none of his +own. This was a usual sort of food in that country in times of scarcity, +for they bled the cows for that purpose, and thus the same cow often +afforded both milk and blood.... They were obliged, when the carriers +were bringing the meal to Pettigo, to guard it with their clubs, as the +people of the adjacent parishes strove to take it by force, in which +they sometimes succeeded, hunger making them desperate." (Burdy's Life +of Skelton. "Works," vol. i, pp. lxxx-lxxxii.) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_53_53" id="Footnote_53_53"></a><a href="#FNanchor_53_53"><span class="label">[53]</span></a> See on this subject the agitation against Wood's halfpence +in the volume dealing with "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_54_54" id="Footnote_54_54"></a><a href="#FNanchor_54_54"><span class="label">[54]</span></a> Faulkner and Scott print this word "irony," but the +original edition has it as printed in the text. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_55_55" id="Footnote_55_55"></a><a href="#FNanchor_55_55"><span class="label">[55]</span></a> The original edition has this as "Island." Scott and the +previous editors print it as in the text. Iceland is, no doubt, referred +to. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_56_56" id="Footnote_56_56"></a><a href="#FNanchor_56_56"><span class="label">[56]</span></a> Bishop Nicholson, quoted by Lecky, speaks of the miserable +hovels in which the people lived, and the almost complete absence of +clothing. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_57_57" id="Footnote_57_57"></a><a href="#FNanchor_57_57"><span class="label">[57]</span></a> Hely Hutchinson, in his "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" +(Dublin, 1779; new edit. 1888) points out that the scheme proposed by +the government, and partly executed, by directing a commission under the +great seal for receiving voluntary subscriptions in order to establish a +bank, was a scheme to circulate paper without money. This and Wood's +halfpence seem to have been the nearest approach made at the time for +supplying what Swift here calls "the running cash of the nation." +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_58_58" id="Footnote_58_58"></a><a href="#FNanchor_58_58"><span class="label">[58]</span></a> England.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_59_59" id="Footnote_59_59"></a><a href="#FNanchor_59_59"><span class="label">[59]</span></a> Scotland and Ireland.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_60_60" id="Footnote_60_60"></a><a href="#FNanchor_60_60"><span class="label">[60]</span></a> The Irish Sea.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_61_61" id="Footnote_61_61"></a><a href="#FNanchor_61_61"><span class="label">[61]</span></a> The Roman Wall.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_62_62" id="Footnote_62_62"></a><a href="#FNanchor_62_62"><span class="label">[62]</span></a> The Scottish Highlanders. [T. S]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_63_63" id="Footnote_63_63"></a><a href="#FNanchor_63_63"><span class="label">[63]</span></a> Charles I, who was delivered by the Scotch into the hands +of the Parliamentary party. [T. S]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_64_64" id="Footnote_64_64"></a><a href="#FNanchor_64_64"><span class="label">[64]</span></a> See note to "A Short View of the State of Ireland." +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_65_65" id="Footnote_65_65"></a><a href="#FNanchor_65_65"><span class="label">[65]</span></a> The King of England. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_66_66" id="Footnote_66_66"></a><a href="#FNanchor_66_66"><span class="label">[66]</span></a> The Lord-Lieutenant. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_67_67" id="Footnote_67_67"></a><a href="#FNanchor_67_67"><span class="label">[67]</span></a> The English Government filled all the important posts in +Ireland with individuals sent over from England. See "Boulter's Letters" +on this subject of the English rule. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_68_68" id="Footnote_68_68"></a><a href="#FNanchor_68_68"><span class="label">[68]</span></a> See notes to "A Short View of the State of Ireland," on +the Navigation Acts and the acts against the exportation of cattle. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_69_69" id="Footnote_69_69"></a><a href="#FNanchor_69_69"><span class="label">[69]</span></a> The laws against woollen manufacture. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_70_70" id="Footnote_70_70"></a><a href="#FNanchor_70_70"><span class="label">[70]</span></a> Absentees and place-holders. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_71_71" id="Footnote_71_71"></a><a href="#FNanchor_71_71"><span class="label">[71]</span></a> The spirit of opposition and enmity to England, declared +by the Scottish Act of Security, according to Swift's view of the +relations between the countries, left no alternative but an union or a +war. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_72_72" id="Footnote_72_72"></a><a href="#FNanchor_72_72"><span class="label">[72]</span></a> The Act of Union between England and Scotland. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_73_73" id="Footnote_73_73"></a><a href="#FNanchor_73_73"><span class="label">[73]</span></a> The reference here is to the linen manufactories of +Ireland which were being encouraged by England. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_74_74" id="Footnote_74_74"></a><a href="#FNanchor_74_74"><span class="label">[74]</span></a> Swift here refers to the sentiment, largely predominant in +Scotland, for the return of the Stuarts. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_75_75" id="Footnote_75_75"></a><a href="#FNanchor_75_75"><span class="label">[75]</span></a> Alliances with France. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_76_76" id="Footnote_76_76"></a><a href="#FNanchor_76_76"><span class="label">[76]</span></a> Alluding to the 33rd Henry VIII, providing that the King +and his successors should be kings imperial of both kingdoms, on which +the enemies of Irish independence founded their arguments against it. +[S.] Scott cannot be correct in this note. The allusion is surely to the +enactments known as Poyning's Law. See vol. vi., p. 77 (note) of this +edition of Swift's works. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_77_77" id="Footnote_77_77"></a><a href="#FNanchor_77_77"><span class="label">[77]</span></a> Disturbances excited by the Scottish colonists in Ulster. +[S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_78_78" id="Footnote_78_78"></a><a href="#FNanchor_78_78"><span class="label">[78]</span></a> The subjugation of Scotland by Cromwell. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_79_79" id="Footnote_79_79"></a><a href="#FNanchor_79_79"><span class="label">[79]</span></a> That is to say, to interpret Poyning's law in the spirit +in which it was enacted, and give to Ireland the right to make its own +laws. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_80_80" id="Footnote_80_80"></a><a href="#FNanchor_80_80"><span class="label">[80]</span></a> Free trade and the repeal of the Navigation Act. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_81_81" id="Footnote_81_81"></a><a href="#FNanchor_81_81"><span class="label">[81]</span></a> Office-holders should not be absentees. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_82_82" id="Footnote_82_82"></a><a href="#FNanchor_82_82"><span class="label">[82]</span></a> That the land laws of Ireland shall be free from +interference by England, and the produce of the land free to be exported +to any place. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_83_83" id="Footnote_83_83"></a><a href="#FNanchor_83_83"><span class="label">[83]</span></a> The laws prohibiting the importation of live cattle into +England, and the restrictions as to the woollen industry, were the ruin +of those who held land for grazing purposes. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_84_84" id="Footnote_84_84"></a><a href="#FNanchor_84_84"><span class="label">[84]</span></a> The Act of 10 and 11 William III., cap. 10, was the final +blow to the woollen industry of Ireland. It was enacted in 1699, and +prohibited the exportation of Irish wool to any other country. In the +fifth letter of Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" +(1779) will be found a full account of the passing of this Act and its +consequences. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_85_85" id="Footnote_85_85"></a><a href="#FNanchor_85_85"><span class="label">[85]</span></a> Edward Waters and John Harding, the printers of Swift's +pamphlets. See volume on "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_86_86" id="Footnote_86_86"></a><a href="#FNanchor_86_86"><span class="label">[86]</span></a> The text here given is that of the original manuscript in +the Forster Collection at South Kensington, collated with that given by +Deane Swift in vol. viii. of the 4to edition of 1765. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_87_87" id="Footnote_87_87"></a><a href="#FNanchor_87_87"><span class="label">[87]</span></a> The letter was written in reply to a letter received from +Messrs. Truman and Layfield. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_88_88" id="Footnote_88_88"></a><a href="#FNanchor_88_88"><span class="label">[88]</span></a> Dr. William King, Archbishop of Dublin. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_89_89" id="Footnote_89_89"></a><a href="#FNanchor_89_89"><span class="label">[89]</span></a> Swift betrays here a lamentable knowledge of the geography +of this part of America. Penn, however, may have known no better. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_90_90" id="Footnote_90_90"></a><a href="#FNanchor_90_90"><span class="label">[90]</span></a> William Burnet, at this time the Governor of +Massachusetts, was the son of Swift's old enemy, Bishop Burnet. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_91_91" id="Footnote_91_91"></a><a href="#FNanchor_91_91"><span class="label">[91]</span></a> Burnet quarrelled with the Assembly of Massachusetts and +New Hampshire because they would not allow him a fixed salary. The +Assembly attempted to give him instead a fee on ships leaving Boston, +but the English Government refused to allow this. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_92_92" id="Footnote_92_92"></a><a href="#FNanchor_92_92"><span class="label">[92]</span></a> The original MS. on which this text is based does not +contain the passage here given in brackets. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_93_93" id="Footnote_93_93"></a><a href="#FNanchor_93_93"><span class="label">[93]</span></a> Swift is here supported by Arthur Dobbs, who in his +"Essays on Trade," pt. ii. (1731) gives as one of the conditions +prejudicial to trade, the luxury of living and extravagance in food, +dress, furniture, and equipage by the Irish well-to-do. He describes it +"as one of the principal sources of our national evils." His remedy was +a tax on expensive dress, and rich equipage and furniture. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_94_94" id="Footnote_94_94"></a><a href="#FNanchor_94_94"><span class="label">[94]</span></a> The text of this tract is based on that given by Deane +Swift in the eighth volume of his edition of Swift's works published in +quarto in 1765. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_95_95" id="Footnote_95_95"></a><a href="#FNanchor_95_95"><span class="label">[95]</span></a> This refers to Whitshed. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_96_96" id="Footnote_96_96"></a><a href="#FNanchor_96_96"><span class="label">[96]</span></a> The Fourth. See vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_97_97" id="Footnote_97_97"></a><a href="#FNanchor_97_97"><span class="label">[97]</span></a> Some ten years after Swift wrote the above, the roads of +Ireland were thought to be so good as to attract Whitefield's attention. +Lecky quotes Arthur Young, who found Irish roads superior to those of +England. (Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., p. 330, 1892 ed.) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_98_98" id="Footnote_98_98"></a><a href="#FNanchor_98_98"><span class="label">[98]</span></a> Lecky (vol. i., pp. 333-335, 1892 edit.) gives a detailed +account of the destruction of the fine woods in Ireland which occurred +during the forty years that followed the Revolution. The melancholy +sight of the denuded land drew the attention of a Parliamentary +Commission appointed to inquire into the matter. The Act of 10 Will. +III. 2, c. 12 ordered the planting of a certain number of trees in every +county, "but," remarks Lecky, "it was insufficient to counteract the +destruction which was due to the cupidity or the fears of the new +proprietors." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_99_99" id="Footnote_99_99"></a><a href="#FNanchor_99_99"><span class="label">[99]</span></a> Swift always distinguished between the Irish "barbarians" +and the Irish who were in reality English settlers in Ireland. Swift, +for once, is in accord with the desires of the English Government, who +wished to eradicate the Irish language. His friend the Archbishop of +Dublin and his own college, that of Trinity, were in favour of keeping +the language alive. (See Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., pp. 331-332.) +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_100_100" id="Footnote_100_100"></a><a href="#FNanchor_100_100"><span class="label">[100]</span></a> See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_101_101" id="Footnote_101_101"></a><a href="#FNanchor_101_101"><span class="label">[101]</span></a> See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_102_102" id="Footnote_102_102"></a><a href="#FNanchor_102_102"><span class="label">[102]</span></a> The text here given is that of Scott read by the +"Miscellaneous Pieces" of 1789. The "Observations" were written, +probably, in 1729. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_103_103" id="Footnote_103_103"></a><a href="#FNanchor_103_103"><span class="label">[103]</span></a> Monck Mason has an elaborate note on this subject ("Hist. +of St. Patrick's Cathedral," pp. 320-321, ed. 1819), which is well worth +reprinting here, since it is an excellent statement of facts, and is +fully borne out by Hely Hutchinson's account in his "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland," to which reference has already been made: +</p><p> +"In the year 1698 a bill was introduced into the English Parliament, +grounded upon complaints, that the woollen manufacture in Ireland +prejudiced the staple trade of England; the matter terminated at last in +an address to the King, wherein the commons 'implored his majesty's +protection and favour on this matter, and that he would make it his +royal care, and enjoin all those whom he employed in Ireland, to use +their utmost diligence, to hinder the exportation of wool from Ireland +(except it be imported into England), and for the discouraging the +woollen manufacture, and increasing the linen manufacture of Ireland.' +Accordingly, on the 16th July, the King wrote a letter of instructions +to the Earl of Galway, in which the following passage appears: 'The +chief thing that must be tried to be prevented, is, that the Irish +parliament takes no notice of what has passed in this here, and that you +make effectual laws for the linen manufacture, and discourage as far as +possible the woollen.'—The Earl of Galway and the other justices +convened the parliament on the 27th of September; in their speech, they +recommended a bill for the encouragement of the manufactures of linen +and hemp, 'which,' say they, 'will be found more advantageous to this +kingdom than the woollen manufacture, which, being the settled trade of +England from whence all foreign markets are supplied, can never be +encouraged here.' The house of commons so far concurred with the lords +justices' sentiments as to say, in their address of thanks, that they +would heartily endeavour to establish the linen manufacture, and to +render the same useful to England, and 'we hope,' they add, 'to find +such a temperament, with respect to the woollen trade here, that the +same may not be injurious to England' ('Cont. Rapin's Hist.,' p. 376). +'And they did,' says Mr. Smith, 'so far come into a temperament in this +case, as, hoping it would be accepted by way of compromise, to lay a +high duty of ... upon all their woollen manufacture exported; under +which, had England acquiesced, I am persuaded it would have been better +for the kingdom in general. But the false notion of a possible monopoly, +made the English deaf to all other terms of accommodation; by which +means they lost the horse rather than quit the stable' ('Memoirs of +Wool,' vol. ii., p. 30). The duties imposed by the Irish parliament, at +this time, upon the export of manufactured wool, was four shillings on +the value of twenty shillings of the old drapery, and two shillings upon +the like value of the new, except friezes. But this concurrence of the +people of Ireland seemed rather to heighten the jealousy between the two +nations, by making the people of England imagine the manufactures of +Ireland were arrived at a dangerous pitch of improvement, since they +could be supposed capable of bearing so extravagant a duty: accordingly, +in the next following year, the English parliament passed an Act (10-11 +William III: cap. 10), that no person should export from Ireland wool or +woollen goods, except to England or Wales, under high penalties, such +goods to be shipped only from certain ports in Ireland, and to certain +ports in England: But this was not the whole grievance; the old duties +upon the import of those commodities, whether raw or manufactured, into +Great Britain, were left in the same state as before, which amounted +nearly to a prohibition; thus did the English, although they had not +themselves any occasion for those commodities, prohibit, nevertheless, +their being sent to any other nation. +</p><p> +"The discouragement of the woollen manufacture of Ireland, affected +particularly the English settlers there, for the linen was entirely in +the hands of the Scotch, who were established in Ulster, and the Irish +natives had no share in either. It is stated in a pamphlet, entitled, 'A +Discourse concerning Ireland, etc. in answer to the Exon and Barnstaple +petitions,' printed 1697-8, that there were then, in the city and +suburbs of Dublin, 12,000 English families, and throughout the nation, +50,000, who were bred to trades connected with the manufacture of wool, +'who could no more get their bread in the linen manufacture, than a +London taylor by shoe-making.' +</p><p> +"Mr. Walter Scott says ('Life of Swift,' p. 278) that the Irish woollen +manufacture produced an annual million, but this is not the fact; Mr. +Dobbs in his 'Essay on the Trade of Ireland,' informs us, from the +custom-house books, that in the year 1697 (which immediately preceded +the year in which the address above-mentioned was transmitted to the +king) the total value of Irish woollen exports, of all sorts, was only +£23,614 9<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, and in 1687, when they were at the highest, they +did not exceed £70,521 14<i>s.</i> 0<i>d.</i> It moreover appears, that the +greater part of these exports were of a sort which did not interfere +with the trade of England, £56,415 16<i>s.</i> 0<i>d.</i> was in friezes, and +£2,520 18<i>s.</i> 0<i>d.</i> coarse stockings, the rest consisted in serges and +other stuffs of the new drapery, which affected not the trade of England +generally, but only the particular interests of Exeter and its +neighbourhood, and a very few other inconsiderable towns. +</p><p> +"But, whatever injury was intended, little prejudice was done to +Ireland, except what followed immediately after the passing of this Act. +It appears from Mr. Dobbs's pamphlet, that, a few years after, four +times the quantity of woollen goods were shipped in each year, +clandestinely, than had ever been exported, legally, before: moreover, +the Irish vastly increased their manufactures for home consumption, and +learned to make fine cloth from Spanish wool: it was only to England +itself that any disadvantage redounded; many manufacturers who were +unsettled by this measure, passed over to Germany, Spain, and to Rouen +and other parts of France, 'from these beginnings they have, in many +branches, so much improved the woollen manufactures of France, as to vie +with the English in foreign markets.—Upon the whole, those nations may +be justly said to have deprived Britain of millions since that time, +instead of the thousands Ireland might possibly have made.'—What Mr. +Dobbs has here asserted, relative to the removal of the manufacturers, +has been confirmed by another tract, 'Letter from a Clothier a Member of +Parliament,' printed in 1731, which informs us that, for some years +after, the English seemed to engross all the woollen trade, 'but this +appearance of benefit abated, as the foreign factories, raised on the +ruin of the Irish, acquired strength': he shows too, that the +importation of unmanufactured wool from Ireland to England had been +gradually decreasing since that time, which was probably on account of +the increase of the illicit trade to foreign parts, towards the +encouragement of which the duties, or legal transportation, served to +act as a bounty of 36 per cent. 'So true it is, that England can never +fall into measures for unreasonably cramping the industry of the people +of Ireland, without doing herself the greatest prejudice.'" (Note g, pp. +320-321).<br />[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_104_104" id="Footnote_104_104"></a><a href="#FNanchor_104_104"><span class="label">[104]</span></a> The causes for absenteeism are thus noted by Lecky +("Hist. of Ireland," p. 213, vol. i., ed. 1892): "The very large part of +the confiscated land was given to Englishmen who had property and duties +in England, and habitually lived there. Much of it also came into the +market, and as there was very little capital in Ireland, and as +Catholics were forbidden to purchase land, this also passed largely into +the hands of English speculators. Besides, the level of civilization was +much higher in England than in Ireland. The position of a Protestant +landlord, living in the midst of a degraded population, differing from +him in religion and race, had but little attraction, the political +situation of the country closed to an Irish gentleman nearly every +avenue of honourable ambition, and owing to a long series of very +evident causes, the sentiment of public duty was deplorably low. The +economical condition was not checked by any considerable movement in the +opposite direction, for after the suppression of the Irish manufactures +but few Englishmen, except those who obtained Irish offices, came to +Ireland." +</p><p> +The amount of the rent obtained in Ireland that was spent in England is +estimated elsewhere by Swift to have been at least one-third. In 1729, +Prior assessed the amount at £627,000. In the Supplement to his "List of +Absentees," Prior gives eight further "articles" by which money was +"yearly drawn out of the Kingdom." See the "Supplement," pp. 242-245 in +Thone's "Collection of Tracts," Dublin, 1861. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_105_105" id="Footnote_105_105"></a><a href="#FNanchor_105_105"><span class="label">[105]</span></a> John Erskine, Earl of Mar, has elsewhere been +characterized by Swift as "crooked; he seemed to me to be a gentleman of +good sense and good nature." The great rebellion of 1715, for which Mar +was responsible, was stirred up by him in favour of the Pretender, and +succeeded so far as to bring the Chevalier to Scotland. The Duke of +Argyll, however, fought his forces, and though the victory remained +undecided, Mar was compelled to seek safety in France. The rebellion +caused so much disturbance in every part of the British Isles that +Ireland suffered greatly from bad trade. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_106_106" id="Footnote_106_106"></a><a href="#FNanchor_106_106"><span class="label">[106]</span></a> Joshua, Lord Allen. See note on p. 175. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_107_107" id="Footnote_107_107"></a><a href="#FNanchor_107_107"><span class="label">[107]</span></a> See page 60 of vol. iii. of the present edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_108_108" id="Footnote_108_108"></a><a href="#FNanchor_108_108"><span class="label">[108]</span></a> Chief Justice Whitshed. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_109_109" id="Footnote_109_109"></a><a href="#FNanchor_109_109"><span class="label">[109]</span></a> See page 14. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_110_110" id="Footnote_110_110"></a><a href="#FNanchor_110_110"><span class="label">[110]</span></a> Edward Waters. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_111_111" id="Footnote_111_111"></a><a href="#FNanchor_111_111"><span class="label">[111]</span></a> See pages 96, 235-6, of vol. vi. of present edition. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_112_112" id="Footnote_112_112"></a><a href="#FNanchor_112_112"><span class="label">[112]</span></a> The person here intimated, Joshua, Lord Allen (whom Swift +elsewhere satirizes under the name of Traulus), was born in 1685. He is +said to have been a weak and dissipated man; and some particulars are +recorded by tradition concerning his marriage with Miss Du Pass (whose +father was clerk of the secretary of state's office in James the +Second's reign, and died in India in 1699), which do very little honour +either to his heart or understanding. +</p><p> +It is reported, that being trepanned into a marriage with this lady, by +a stratagem of the celebrated Lionel, Duke of Dorset, Lord Allen +refused, for some time, to acknowledge her as his wife. But the lady, +after living some time in close retirement, caused an advertisement to +be inserted in the papers, stating the death of a brother in the East +Indies, by which Miss Margaret Du Pass had succeeded to a large fortune. +Accordingly, she put on mourning, and assumed an equipage conforming to +her supposed change of fortune. Lord Allen's affairs being much +deranged, he became now as anxious to prove the marriage with the +wealthy heiress, as he had formerly been to disown the unportioned +damsel; and succeeded, after such opposition as the lady judged +necessary to give colour to the farce. Before the deceit was discovered, +Lady Allen, by her good sense and talents, had obtained such ascendance +over her husband, that they ever afterwards lived in great harmony. +</p><p> +Lord Allen was, at the time of giving offence to Swift, a +privy-counsellor; and distinguished himself, according to Lodge, in the +House of Peers, by his excellent speeches for the benefit of his +country. He died at Stillorgan, 1742. [S.] +</p><p> +Swift did not allow Lord Allen to rest with this "advertisement." In the +poem entitled "Traulus," Allen is gibbetted in some lively rhymes. He +calls him a "motley fruit of mongrel seed," and traces his descent from +the mother's side (she was the sister of the Earl of Kildare) as well as +the father's (who was the son of Sir Joshua Allen, Lord Mayor of Dublin +in 1673): +</p><p><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Who could give the looby such airs?</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Were they masons, were they butchers?</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">This was dexterous at the trowel,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That was bred to kill a cow well:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hence the greasy clumsy mien</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In his dress and figure seen;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hence the mean and sordid soul,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Like his body rank and foul;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hence that wild suspicious peep,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Like a rogue that steals a sheep;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hence he learnt the butcher's guile,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">How to cut your throat and smile;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Like a butcher doomed for life</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In his mouth to wear a knife;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hence he draws his daily food</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">From his tenants' vital blood."</span><br /> +</p><p> +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_113_113" id="Footnote_113_113"></a><a href="#FNanchor_113_113"><span class="label">[113]</span></a> See note on page 66 of vol. vi. of present edition. The +patent to Lord Dartmouth, granting him the right to coin copper coins, +provided that he should give security to redeem these coins for gold or +silver on demand. John Knox obtained this patent and Colonel Moore +acquired it from Knox after the Revolution. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_114_114" id="Footnote_114_114"></a><a href="#FNanchor_114_114"><span class="label">[114]</span></a> Of ten pence in every two shillings. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_115_115" id="Footnote_115_115"></a><a href="#FNanchor_115_115"><span class="label">[115]</span></a> But M'Culla hath still 30<i>l.</i> per cent. by the scheme, if +they be returned. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_116_116" id="Footnote_116_116"></a><a href="#FNanchor_116_116"><span class="label">[116]</span></a> Faulkner's edition adds here: "For the benefit of +defrauding the crown never occurreth to the public, but is wholly turned +to the advantage of those whom the crown employeth." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_117_117" id="Footnote_117_117"></a><a href="#FNanchor_117_117"><span class="label">[117]</span></a> See page 89 of vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_118_118" id="Footnote_118_118"></a><a href="#FNanchor_118_118"><span class="label">[118]</span></a> 1: Faulkner's edition adds here: "it being a matter +wholly out of my trade." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_119_119" id="Footnote_119_119"></a><a href="#FNanchor_119_119"><span class="label">[119]</span></a> See "A Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures," p. 19. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_120_120" id="Footnote_120_120"></a><a href="#FNanchor_120_120"><span class="label">[120]</span></a> See Swift's letter to Archbishop King on the weavers, p. +137. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_121_121" id="Footnote_121_121"></a><a href="#FNanchor_121_121"><span class="label">[121]</span></a> Edward Waters. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_122_122" id="Footnote_122_122"></a><a href="#FNanchor_122_122"><span class="label">[122]</span></a> See note prefixed to pamphlet on p. 15. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_123_123" id="Footnote_123_123"></a><a href="#FNanchor_123_123"><span class="label">[123]</span></a> See notes on pp. 6, 7, 8 and 73 of vol. vi. of present +edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_124_124" id="Footnote_124_124"></a><a href="#FNanchor_124_124"><span class="label">[124]</span></a> See Appendix V. in vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_125_125" id="Footnote_125_125"></a><a href="#FNanchor_125_125"><span class="label">[125]</span></a> See page 81. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_126_126" id="Footnote_126_126"></a><a href="#FNanchor_126_126"><span class="label">[126]</span></a> Nathaniel Mist was the publisher of the "Weekly Journal," +for which Defoe wrote many important papers. The greater part of his +career as a printer was spent in trials and imprisonments for the +"libels" which appeared in his journal. This was largely due to the fact +that his weekly newspaper became the recognized organ of Jacobites and +"High-fliers." From 1716 to 1728 he was a pretty busy man with the +government, and finally was compelled to go to France to escape from +prosecution. In France he joined Wharton, but his "Journal" still +continued to be issued until September 21st of the year 1728, which was +the date of the last issue. On the 28th of the same month, however, +appeared its continuation under the title, "Fog's Weekly Journal," and +this was carried on by Mist's friends. Mist died in 1737. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_127_127" id="Footnote_127_127"></a><a href="#FNanchor_127_127"><span class="label">[127]</span></a> See notes on pp. 158-159. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_128_128" id="Footnote_128_128"></a><a href="#FNanchor_128_128"><span class="label">[128]</span></a> "Observations on the Precedent List: Together with a View +of the Trade of Ireland, and the Great Benefits which accrue to England +thereby; with some hints for the further improvement of the same." +Dublin, second edition, 1729. Reprinted in Thom's "Tracts and Treatises +of Ireland," 1861, vol. ii. [T. S]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_129_129" id="Footnote_129_129"></a><a href="#FNanchor_129_129"><span class="label">[129]</span></a> A reference to Alberoni's expedition in aid of the +Jacobites made several years before Swift wrote. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_130_130" id="Footnote_130_130"></a><a href="#FNanchor_130_130"><span class="label">[130]</span></a> Sir W. Petty gives the population of Ireland as about one +million, two hundred thousand ("Pol. Arithmetic," 1699). [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_131_131" id="Footnote_131_131"></a><a href="#FNanchor_131_131"><span class="label">[131]</span></a> This is probably a Swiftian plausibility to give an air +of truth to his remarks. Certain parts of America were at that time +reputed to be inhabited by cannibals. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_132_132" id="Footnote_132_132"></a><a href="#FNanchor_132_132"><span class="label">[132]</span></a> This anecdote is taken from the Description of the Island +of Formosa by that very extraordinary impostor George Psalmanazar, who +for some time passed himself for a native of that distant country. He +afterwards published a retractation of his figments, with many +expressions of contrition, but containing certain very natural +indications of dislike to those who had detected him. The passage +referred to in the text is as follows: "We also eat human flesh, which +I am now convinced is a very barbarous custom, though we feed only upon +our open enemies, slain or made captive in the field, or else upon +malefactors legally executed; the flesh of the latter is our greatest +dainty, and is four times dearer than other rare and delicious meat. We +buy it of the executioner, for the bodies of all public capital +offenders are his fees. As soon as the criminal is dead, he cuts the +body in pieces, squeezes out the blood, and makes his house a shambles +for the flesh of men and women, where all people that can afford it come +and buy. I remember, about ten years ago, a tall, well-complexioned, +pretty fat virgin, about nineteen years of age, and tire-woman to the +queen, was found guilty of high treason, for designing to poison the +king; and accordingly she was condemned to suffer the most cruel death +that could be invented, and her sentence was, to be nailed to a cross, +and kept alive as long as possible. The sentence was put in execution; +when she fainted with the cruel torment, the hangman gave her strong +liquors, &c. to revive her; the sixth day she died. Her long sufferings, +youth, and good constitution, made her flesh so tender, delicious, and +valuable, that the executioner sold it for above eight tallies; for +there was such thronging to this inhuman market, that men of great +fashion thought themselves fortunate if they could purchase a pound or +two of it." Lond. 1705, p. 112. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_133_133" id="Footnote_133_133"></a><a href="#FNanchor_133_133"><span class="label">[133]</span></a> The English government had been making concessions to the +Dissenters, and, of course, Swift satirically alludes here to the +arguments used by the government in the steps they had taken. But the +truth of the matter, Swift hints, was, that those who desired to abolish +the test were more anxious for their pockets than their consciences. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_134_134" id="Footnote_134_134"></a><a href="#FNanchor_134_134"><span class="label">[134]</span></a> The inhabitants of a district of Brazil supposed to be +savages, making the name synonymous with savage ignorance. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_135_135" id="Footnote_135_135"></a><a href="#FNanchor_135_135"><span class="label">[135]</span></a> +</p><p><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Remove me from this land of slaves,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where all are fools, and all are knaves,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where every fool and knave is bought,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Yet kindly sells himself for nought."</span><br /> +</p><p> +(<i>From Swift's note-book, written while detained at Holyhead in +September, 1727.</i>) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_136_136" id="Footnote_136_136"></a><a href="#FNanchor_136_136"><span class="label">[136]</span></a> All these are proposals advocated, of course, by Swift +himself, in previous pamphlets and papers. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_137_137" id="Footnote_137_137"></a><a href="#FNanchor_137_137"><span class="label">[137]</span></a> So that there would be no danger of an objection from +England that the English were suffering from Irish competition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_138_138" id="Footnote_138_138"></a><a href="#FNanchor_138_138"><span class="label">[138]</span></a> This was the celebrated periodical founded by Pulteney, +after he had separated himself from Walpole, to which Bolingbroke +contributed his famous letters of an Occasional Writer. The journal +carried on a political war against Walpole's administration, and +endeavoured to bring about the establishment of a new party, to consist +of Tories and the Whigs who could not agree with Walpole's methods. +Caleb D'Anvers was a mere name for a Grub Street hack who was supposed +to be the writer. But Walpole had no difficulty in recognizing the hand +of Bolingbroke, and his reply to the first number of the Occasional +Writer made Bolingbroke wince. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_139_139" id="Footnote_139_139"></a><a href="#FNanchor_139_139"><span class="label">[139]</span></a> The "Modest Proposal." See page 207. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_140_140" id="Footnote_140_140"></a><a href="#FNanchor_140_140"><span class="label">[140]</span></a> Referring to the silks, laces, and dress of the +extravagant women. See pp. 139, 198, 199.<br />[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_141_141" id="Footnote_141_141"></a><a href="#FNanchor_141_141"><span class="label">[141]</span></a> The chief source of income in Ireland came from the +pasture lands on which cattle were bred. The cattle were imported to +England. The English landlords, however, taking alarm, discovered to the +Crown that this importation of Irish cattle was lowering English rents. +Two Acts passed in 1665 and 1680 fully met the wishes of the landlords, +and ruined absolutely the Irish cattle trade. Prevented thus from +breeding cattle, the Irish turned to the breeding of sheep, and +established, in a very short time, an excellent trade in wool. How +England ruined this industry also may be seen from note on p. 158. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_142_142" id="Footnote_142_142"></a><a href="#FNanchor_142_142"><span class="label">[142]</span></a> Alluding to the facilities afforded for the recruiting of +the French army in Ireland. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_143_143" id="Footnote_143_143"></a><a href="#FNanchor_143_143"><span class="label">[143]</span></a> The King of France. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_144_144" id="Footnote_144_144"></a><a href="#FNanchor_144_144"><span class="label">[144]</span></a> Buttermilk. The quotation from Virgil aptly applies to +the food of the Irish peasants, who, in the words of Skelton, bled their +cattle and boiled their blood with sorrel to make a food.<br />[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_145_145" id="Footnote_145_145"></a><a href="#FNanchor_145_145"><span class="label">[145]</span></a> At Christ Church. See note prefixed to this tract. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_146_146" id="Footnote_146_146"></a><a href="#FNanchor_146_146"><span class="label">[146]</span></a> Sheridan, in his life of Swift, gives an instance of this +which is quoted by Scott. Carteret had appointed Sheridan one of his +domestic chaplains, and the two would often spend hours together, or, in +company with Swift, exchanging talk and knowledge. When Sheridan had one +of the Greek tragedies performed by the scholars of the school he kept, +Carteret wished to read the play over with him before the performance. +At this reading Sheridan was surprised at the ease with which his patron +could translate the original, and, asking him how he came to know it so +well, Carteret told him "that when he was envoy in Denmark, he had been +for a long time confined to his chamber, partly by illness, and partly +by the severity of the weather; and having but few books with him, he +had read Sophocles over and over so often as to be almost able to repeat +the whole <i>verbatim</i>, which impressed it ever after indelibly on his +memory." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_147_147" id="Footnote_147_147"></a><a href="#FNanchor_147_147"><span class="label">[147]</span></a> This refers to Richard Tighe, the gentleman who informed +on poor Sheridan for preaching from the text on the anniversary of King +George's accession, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." It +was on this information that Sheridan lost his living. Swift never +afterwards missed an opportunity to ridicule Tighe, and he has lampooned +that individual in several poems. In "The Legion Club" Swift calls him +Dick Fitzbaker, alluding to his descent from one of Cromwell's +contractors, who supplied the army with bread. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_148_148" id="Footnote_148_148"></a><a href="#FNanchor_148_148"><span class="label">[148]</span></a> "The worst of times" was the expression used by the Whigs +when they referred to Oxford's administration in the last four years of +Queen Anne's reign. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_149_149" id="Footnote_149_149"></a><a href="#FNanchor_149_149"><span class="label">[149]</span></a> A famous rope-dancer of that time. [H.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_150_150" id="Footnote_150_150"></a><a href="#FNanchor_150_150"><span class="label">[150]</span></a> A justice of the peace, who afterwards gave Swift farther +provocation. It was Hutcheson who signed Faulkner's committal to prison +for printing "A New Proposal for the Better Regulation and Improvement +of Quadrille," a pamphlet which Swift did not write, but which had his +favour. A jeering insinuation was made against the famous Sergeant +Bettesworth, whom Swift had already lampooned, and Bettesworth +complained to the House of Commons. Hutcheson aided Bettesworth in this +prosecution, causing Swift to be roused to a strong indignation against +such unconstitutional proceedings. +</p> +<p><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Better we all were in our graves,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Than live in slavery to slaves."</span><br /> +</p><p> +These are the lines beginning one of his more trenchant lampoons against +the magistrate.<br />[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_151_151" id="Footnote_151_151"></a><a href="#FNanchor_151_151"><span class="label">[151]</span></a> "The beast who had kicked him" is the expression Swift +uses for Tighe in writing to Sheridan in a letter on September 25th, +1725. In that letter Swift urges Sheridan to revenge, and promises him +his help. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_152_152" id="Footnote_152_152"></a><a href="#FNanchor_152_152"><span class="label">[152]</span></a> The word is spelt "Galloway" in the original edition. The +earldom of Galway became extinct in 1720. For an account of the earl, +see note on p. 20 of volume v. of this edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_153_153" id="Footnote_153_153"></a><a href="#FNanchor_153_153"><span class="label">[153]</span></a> Joshua, Lord Allen. See p. 175 [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_154_154" id="Footnote_154_154"></a><a href="#FNanchor_154_154"><span class="label">[154]</span></a> Swift's poem entitled "Traulus" was published at this +price, and gives in rhyme much the same matter as is here given in +prose. See p. 176. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_155_155" id="Footnote_155_155"></a><a href="#FNanchor_155_155"><span class="label">[155]</span></a> Lord Allen was reputed to be wrong in his head. When +Swift was once asked to excuse him for his conduct on the plea that he +was mad, Swift replied: "I know that he is a madman; and, if that were +all, no man living could commiserate his condition more than myself; +but, sir, he is a madman possessed by the devil. I renounce him." (See +Scott's "Life of Swift," p. 365.) [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_156_156" id="Footnote_156_156"></a><a href="#FNanchor_156_156"><span class="label">[156]</span></a> The reader may compare what is stated in these two +paragraphs with the same opinion expressed by the author in "The Public +Spirit of the Whigs." [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_157_157" id="Footnote_157_157"></a><a href="#FNanchor_157_157"><span class="label">[157]</span></a> See notes on pp. 74, 232. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_158_158" id="Footnote_158_158"></a><a href="#FNanchor_158_158"><span class="label">[158]</span></a> See note on p. 232. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_159_159" id="Footnote_159_159"></a><a href="#FNanchor_159_159"><span class="label">[159]</span></a> Mr. Tickell and Mr. Ballaquer. Tickell was Addison's +biographer, and a friend and correspondent of Swift. He was no mean +poet, and though Pope did not care for him Swift did. Tickell was +Secretary to the Lords Justices of Ireland, and Ballaquer Secretary to +Carteret. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_160_160" id="Footnote_160_160"></a><a href="#FNanchor_160_160"><span class="label">[160]</span></a> The day of the anniversary of the accession of George I. +In his "History of Solomon the Second" Swift censures his friend +strongly for his indiscretion. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_161_161" id="Footnote_161_161"></a><a href="#FNanchor_161_161"><span class="label">[161]</span></a> The Richard Tighe afore-mentioned. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_162_162" id="Footnote_162_162"></a><a href="#FNanchor_162_162"><span class="label">[162]</span></a> Sheridan wrote a poem displeasing to Swift, which Swift +thus animadverts on in the "History of the Second Solomon": "Having lain +many years under the obloquy of a high Tory and a Jacobite, upon the +present Queen's birthday, he [Dr. Sheridan] writ a song to be performed +before the government and those who attended them, in praise of the +Queen and King, on the common topics of her beauty, wit, family, love of +England, and all other virtues, wherein the King and the royal children +were sharers. It was very hard to avoid the common topics. A young +collegian who had done the same job the year before, got some reputation +on account of his wit. Solomon would needs vie with him, by which he +lost the esteem of his old friends the Tories, and got not the least +interest with the Whigs, for they are now too strong to want advocates +of that kind; and, therefore, one of the lords-justices reading the +verses in some company, said, 'Ah, doctor, this shall not do.' His name +was at length in the title-page; and he did this without the knowledge +or advice of one living soul, as he himself confesseth." [T. S.]</p></div> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_163_163" id="Footnote_163_163"></a><a href="#FNanchor_163_163"><span class="label">[163]</span></a> Dr. Stopford, Bishop of Cloyne, one of Swift's intimate +friends. Stopford always acknowledged that he owed his advancement +entirely to Swift's kindness. He wrote an elegant Latin tribute to +Swift, given by Scott in an appendix to the "Life." With Delany and +others he was one of Swift's executors.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_164_164" id="Footnote_164_164"></a><a href="#FNanchor_164_164"><span class="label">[164]</span></a> Delany was a ripe scholar and much esteemed by Swift, +though the latter had occasion to rebuke him for attempting to court +favour with the Castle people, and for an attack on the "Intelligencer," +a journal which Swift and Sheridan had started. Delany, however, was a +little jealous of Sheridan's favour with the Dean. He was afterwards +Chancellor of St Patrick's, and wrote a life of Swift. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_165_165" id="Footnote_165_165"></a><a href="#FNanchor_165_165"><span class="label">[165]</span></a> Sir Constantine Phipps, Lord Chancellor of Ireland when +Queen Anne died. [<i>Orig. Note.</i>]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_166_166" id="Footnote_166_166"></a><a href="#FNanchor_166_166"><span class="label">[166]</span></a> Swift himself. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_167_167" id="Footnote_167_167"></a><a href="#FNanchor_167_167"><span class="label">[167]</span></a> Dr. William King, who died a year or so before Swift +wrote. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_168_168" id="Footnote_168_168"></a><a href="#FNanchor_168_168"><span class="label">[168]</span></a> In 1724, two under-graduates were expelled from Trinity +College for alleged insolence to the provost. Dr. Delany espoused their +cause with such warmth that it drew upon him very inconvenient +consequences, and he was at length obliged to give satisfaction to the +college by a formal acknowledgment of his offence. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_169_169" id="Footnote_169_169"></a><a href="#FNanchor_169_169"><span class="label">[169]</span></a> A very good friend of Swift, at whose place at Gosford, +in the county of Antrim, Swift would often stay for months together. The +reference here is to the project for converting a large house, called +Hamilton's Bawn, situated about two miles from Sir Arthur Acheson's +seat, into a barrack. The project gave rise to Swift's poem, entitled, +"The Grand Question Debated," given by Scott in vol. xv., p. 171. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_170_170" id="Footnote_170_170"></a><a href="#FNanchor_170_170"><span class="label">[170]</span></a> Most of these expressions explain themselves. +"Termagants" was applied to resisters, as used in the old morality +plays. "Iconoclasts," the name given to those who defaced King William's +statue. "White-rosalists," given to those who wore the Stuart badge on +the 10th of June, the day of the Pretender's birthday. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_171_171" id="Footnote_171_171"></a><a href="#FNanchor_171_171"><span class="label">[171]</span></a> By fines is meant the increase made in rents on the +occasion of renewals of leases. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_172_172" id="Footnote_172_172"></a><a href="#FNanchor_172_172"><span class="label">[172]</span></a> This document was copied by Sir Walter Scott from Dr. +Lyon's papers. It is indorsed, "Queries for Mr. Lindsay," and "21st +Nov., 1730, Mr. Lindsay's opinion concerning Mr. Gorman, in answer to my +queries." Mr. Lindsay's answer was: +</p><p> +"I have carefully perused and considered this case, and am clearly of +opinion, that the agent has not made any one answer like a man of +business, but has answered very much like a true agent. +</p><p> +"Nov. 21, 1730. Robert Lindsay."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_173_173" id="Footnote_173_173"></a><a href="#FNanchor_173_173"><span class="label">[173]</span></a> Swift was born at No. 7, Hoey's Court, near the Castle +grounds. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_174_174" id="Footnote_174_174"></a><a href="#FNanchor_174_174"><span class="label">[174]</span></a> A sort of sugar-cakes in the shape of hearts. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_175_175" id="Footnote_175_175"></a><a href="#FNanchor_175_175"><span class="label">[175]</span></a> A new name for a modern periwig with a long black tail, +and for its owner; now in fashion, Dec. 1, 1733. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_176_176" id="Footnote_176_176"></a><a href="#FNanchor_176_176"><span class="label">[176]</span></a> Referring to the last four years of Anne's reign, when +Harley was minister. The expression was a Whig one. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_177_177" id="Footnote_177_177"></a><a href="#FNanchor_177_177"><span class="label">[177]</span></a> "The squeezing of the orange" was literally a toast among +the disaffected in the reign of William III. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_178_178" id="Footnote_178_178"></a><a href="#FNanchor_178_178"><span class="label">[178]</span></a> The author's meaning is just contrary to the literal +sense in the character of Lord Oxford; while he is in truth sneering at +the splendour of Houghton, and the supposed wealth of Sir Robert +Walpole. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_179_179" id="Footnote_179_179"></a><a href="#FNanchor_179_179"><span class="label">[179]</span></a>The paragraph here printed in square brackets did not +appear in the original Dublin edition of 1732. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_180_180" id="Footnote_180_180"></a><a href="#FNanchor_180_180"><span class="label">[180]</span></a> Was a gentleman of a very large estate, and left it to +the poor people of England, to be distributed amongst them annually, as +the Parliament of Great Britain, his executors, should think proper. +[F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_181_181" id="Footnote_181_181"></a><a href="#FNanchor_181_181"><span class="label">[181]</span></a> 4,060,000 in 1734 and 4,600,000 in edition of 1733. To +make the total agree with the division below it, the item against +Richard Norton has been altered from 60,000 to 6,000. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_182_182" id="Footnote_182_182"></a><a href="#FNanchor_182_182"><span class="label">[182]</span></a> See note on page 269. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_183_183" id="Footnote_183_183"></a><a href="#FNanchor_183_183"><span class="label">[183]</span></a> See note on page 271. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_184_184" id="Footnote_184_184"></a><a href="#FNanchor_184_184"><span class="label">[184]</span></a> Humphry French, Lord Mayor of Dublin for the year 1732-3, +was elected to succeed Alderman Samuel Burton. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_185_185" id="Footnote_185_185"></a><a href="#FNanchor_185_185"><span class="label">[185]</span></a> John Macarrell, Register of the Barracks, shortly after +this date elected to the representation of Carlingford. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_186_186" id="Footnote_186_186"></a><a href="#FNanchor_186_186"><span class="label">[186]</span></a> Edward Thompson, member of parliament for York, and a +Commissioner of the Revenue in Ireland. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_187_187" id="Footnote_187_187"></a><a href="#FNanchor_187_187"><span class="label">[187]</span></a> Mr. Thompson was presented with the freedom of several +corporations in Ireland. [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_188_188" id="Footnote_188_188"></a><a href="#FNanchor_188_188"><span class="label">[188]</span></a> Upon the death of Mr. Stoyte, Recorder of the City of +Dublin, in the year 1733, several gentlemen declared themselves +candidates to succeed him; upon which the Dean wrote the above paper, +and Eaton Stannard, Esq. (a gentleman of great worth and honour, and +very knowing in his profession) was elected [F.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_189_189" id="Footnote_189_189"></a><a href="#FNanchor_189_189"><span class="label">[189]</span></a> Dr. William King. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_190_190" id="Footnote_190_190"></a><a href="#FNanchor_190_190"><span class="label">[190]</span></a> The following, from Deane Swift's edition, given by Sir +Walter Scott in his edition of Swift's works, refers to this "very plain +proposal." It is evidently written by Swift, and is dated, as from the +Deanery House, September 26th, 1726, almost eleven years before the +above tract was issued: +</p><p> +"<span class="smcap">Deanery-house</span>, <i>Sept.</i> 26, 1726. +</p><p> +"The continued concourse of beggars from all parts of the kingdom to +this city, having made it impossible for the several parishes to +maintain their own poor, according to the ancient laws of the land, +several lord mayors did apply themselves to the lord Archbishop of +Dublin, that his grace would direct his clergy, and his churchwardens of +the said city, to appoint badges of brass, copper, or pewter, to be worn +by the poor of the several parishes. The badges to be marked with the +initial letters of the name of each church, and numbered 1, 2, 3, etc., +and to be well sewed and fastened on the right and left shoulder of the +outward garment of each of the said poor, by which they might be +distinguished. And that none of the said poor should go out of their own +parish to beg alms; whereof the beadles were to take care. +</p><p> +"His grace the lord Archbishop, did accordingly give his directions to +the clergy; which, however, have proved wholly ineffectual, by the +fraud, perverseness, or pride of the said poor, several of them openly +protesting 'they will never submit to wear the said badges.' And of +those who received them, almost every one keep them in their pockets, or +hang them in a string about their necks, or fasten them under their +coats, not to be seen, by which means the whole design is eluded; so +that a man may walk from one end of the town to another, without seeing +one beggar regularly badged, and in such great numbers, that they are a +mighty nuisance to the public, most of them being foreigners. +</p><p> +"It is therefore proposed, that his grace the lord Archbishop would +please to call the clergy of the city together, and renew his directions +and exhortations to them, to put the affair of badges effectually in +practice, by such methods as his grace and they shall agree upon. And I +think it would be highly necessary that some paper should be pasted up +in several proper parts of the city, signifying this order, and +exhorting all people to give no alms except to those poor who are +regularly badged, and only while they are in the precincts of their own +parishes. And if something like this were delivered by the ministers in +the reading-desk two or three Lord's-days successively, it would still +be of further use to put this matter upon a right foot. And that all who +offend against this regulation shall be treated as vagabonds and sturdy +beggars." [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_191_191" id="Footnote_191_191"></a><a href="#FNanchor_191_191"><span class="label">[191]</span></a> Spelt now St. Warburgh's. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_192_192" id="Footnote_192_192"></a><a href="#FNanchor_192_192"><span class="label">[192]</span></a> About the beginning of the eighteenth century, Dr. +Gwythers, a physician, and fellow of the University of Dublin, brought +over with him a parcel of frogs from England to Ireland, in order to +propagate their species in that kingdom, and threw them into the ditches +of the University Park; but they all perished. Whereupon he sent to +England for some bottles of the frog-spawn, which he threw into those +ditches, by which means the species of frogs was propagated in that +kingdom. However, their number was so small in the year 1720, that a +frog was nowhere to be seen in Ireland, except in the neighbourhood of +the University Park: but within six or seven years after, they spread +thirty, forty, or fifty miles over the country; and so at last, by +degrees, over the whole country. [D. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_193_193" id="Footnote_193_193"></a><a href="#FNanchor_193_193"><span class="label">[193]</span></a> Swift's uncle, Godwin Swift, for whose memory he had no +special regard, seems to have been concerned in this ingenious anagram +and unfortunate project. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_194_194" id="Footnote_194_194"></a><a href="#FNanchor_194_194"><span class="label">[194]</span></a> This reproach has been certainly removed since the Dean +flourished; for the titles of the Irish peerages of late creation have +rather been in the opposite extreme, and resemble, in some instances, +the appellatives in romances and novels. +</p><p> +Thomas O'Brien MacMahon, an Irish author, quoted by Mr. Southey in his +Omniana, in a most angry pamphlet on "The Candour and Good-nature of +Englishmen," has the following diverting passage, which may serve as a +corollary to Swift's Tract:—"You sent out the children of your +princes," says he, addressing the Irish, "and sometimes your princes in +person, to enlighten this kingdom, then sitting in utter darkness, +(meaning England) and how have they recompensed you? Why, after +lawlessly distributing your estates, possessed for thirteen centuries or +more, by your illustrious families, whose antiquity and nobility, if +equalled by any nation in the world, none but the immutable God of +Abraham's chosen, though, at present, wandering and afflicted people, +surpasses: After, I say, seizing on your inheritances, and flinging them +among their Cocks, Hens, Crows, Rooks, Daws, Wolves, Lions, Foxes, Rams, +Bulls, Hoggs, and other beasts and birds of prey, or vesting them in the +sweepings of their jails, their Small-woods, Do-littles, Barebones, +Strangeways, Smarts, Sharps, Tarts, Sterns, Churls, and Savages; their +Greens, Blacks, Browns, Greys and Whites; their Smiths, Carpenters, +Brewers, Bakers, and Taylors; their Sutlers, Cutlers, Butlers, Trustlers +and Jugglers; their Norths, Souths, and Wests; their Fields, Rows, +Streets, and Lanes; their Toms-sons, Dicks-sons, Johns-sons, James-sons, +Wills-sons, and Waters-sons; their Shorts, Longs, Lows, and Squabs; +their Parks, Sacks, Tacks, and Jacks; and, to complete their ingratitude +and injustice, they have transported a cargo of notorious traitors to +the Divine Majesty among you, impiously calling them the Ministers of +God's Word." [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_195_195" id="Footnote_195_195"></a><a href="#FNanchor_195_195"><span class="label">[195]</span></a> The Tholsel, where criminals for the city were tried, and +where proclamations, etc., were posted. It was invariably called the +Touls'el by the lower class. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_196_196" id="Footnote_196_196"></a><a href="#FNanchor_196_196"><span class="label">[196]</span></a> This and the following piece were, according to Sir +Walter Scott, found among the collection of Mr. Smith. The examples of +English blunders which Scott also reprints were given by Sheridan by way +of retaliation to these specimens of Irish blunders noted by Swift. +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_197_197" id="Footnote_197_197"></a><a href="#FNanchor_197_197"><span class="label">[197]</span></a> This specimen of Irish-English, or what Swift condemned +as such, is taken from an unfinished copy in the Dean's handwriting, +found among Mr. Lyons's papers. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_198_198" id="Footnote_198_198"></a><a href="#FNanchor_198_198"><span class="label">[198]</span></a> See note on p. 368. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_199_199" id="Footnote_199_199"></a><a href="#FNanchor_199_199"><span class="label">[199]</span></a> Dunkin was one of Swift's favourites, to judge by the +efforts Swift made on his behalf. Writing to Alderman Barber (17th +January, 1737-38), Swift speaks of him as "a gentleman of much wit and +the best English as well as Latin poet in this kingdom." Several of +Dunkin's poems were printed in Scott's edition of Swift's works, but his +collected works were issued in 1774. Dunkin was educated at Trinity +College, Dublin. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_200_200" id="Footnote_200_200"></a><a href="#FNanchor_200_200"><span class="label">[200]</span></a> The "Occasional Writer's" Letters are printed in Lord +Bolingbroke's Works. [N.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_201_201" id="Footnote_201_201"></a><a href="#FNanchor_201_201"><span class="label">[201]</span></a> Sir Robert Walpole was by no means negligent of his +literary assistants. But, unfortunately, like an unskilful general, he +confided more in the number than the spirit or discipline of his forces. +Arnall, Concanen, and Henley, were wretched auxiliaries; yet they could +not complain of indifferent pay, since Arnall used to brag, that, in the +course of four years, he had received from the treasury, for his +political writings, the sum of £10,997 6<i>s.</i> 8<i>d.</i> [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_202_202" id="Footnote_202_202"></a><a href="#FNanchor_202_202"><span class="label">[202]</span></a> The authority for considering this "Account" to be the +work of Swift is Mr. Deane Swift, the editor of the edition of 1765 of +Swift's works. It is included in the eighth volume of the quarto edition +issued that year. Burke also seems to have had no doubt at all about the +authorship. Referring to the Dean's disposition to defend Queen Anne and +to ridicule her successor, he says, "it is probable that the pieces in +which he does it ('Account of the Court of Japan,' and 'Directions for +making a Birth-day Song') were the occasion of most of the other +posthumous articles having been so long withheld from the publick." +Undoubtedly, there is much in this piece that savours of Swift's method +of dealing with such a subject; but that could easily be imitated by a +clever reader of "Gulliver." The style, however, in which it is written +is not distinctly Swift's. +</p><p> +At the time this tract was written (1728) the Tory party was anxiously +hoping that the accession of George II. would see the downfall of +Walpole. But the party was doomed to a bitter disappointment. Walpole +not only maintained but added to the power he enjoyed under George I. By +what means this was accomplished the writer of this piece attempts to +hint. Sir Walter Scott thinks the piece was probably left imperfect, +"when the crisis to which the Tories so anxiously looked forward +terminated so undesirably, in the confirmation of Walpole's power." +[T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_203_203" id="Footnote_203_203"></a><a href="#FNanchor_203_203"><span class="label">[203]</span></a> King George. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_204_204" id="Footnote_204_204"></a><a href="#FNanchor_204_204"><span class="label">[204]</span></a> Queen Anne. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_205_205" id="Footnote_205_205"></a><a href="#FNanchor_205_205"><span class="label">[205]</span></a> Whigs and Tories. Anagrams of Huigse and Toryes. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_206_206" id="Footnote_206_206"></a><a href="#FNanchor_206_206"><span class="label">[206]</span></a> Hanover. Anagrams for Deuts = Deutsch = German. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_207_207" id="Footnote_207_207"></a><a href="#FNanchor_207_207"><span class="label">[207]</span></a> Bremen and Lubeck. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_208_208" id="Footnote_208_208"></a><a href="#FNanchor_208_208"><span class="label">[208]</span></a> The quadruple alliance, usually accounted the most +impolitic step in the reign of George I., had its rise in his anxiety +for his continental dominions. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_209_209" id="Footnote_209_209"></a><a href="#FNanchor_209_209"><span class="label">[209]</span></a> Through all the reign of George I., the Whigs were in +triumphant possession of the government. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_210_210" id="Footnote_210_210"></a><a href="#FNanchor_210_210"><span class="label">[210]</span></a> Sir Robert Walpole [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_211_211" id="Footnote_211_211"></a><a href="#FNanchor_211_211"><span class="label">[211]</span></a> When secretary at war, Walpole received £500 from the +contractors for forage; and although he alleged that it was a sum due to +a third party in the contract, and only remitted through his hands, he +was voted guilty of corruption, expelled the House, and sent to the +Tower, by the Tory Parliament. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_212_212" id="Footnote_212_212"></a><a href="#FNanchor_212_212"><span class="label">[212]</span></a> King George II. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_213_213" id="Footnote_213_213"></a><a href="#FNanchor_213_213"><span class="label">[213]</span></a> Sir Spencer Compton, Speaker of the House of Commons. +[S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_214_214" id="Footnote_214_214"></a><a href="#FNanchor_214_214"><span class="label">[214]</span></a> Sir Thomas Hanmer. [S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_215_215" id="Footnote_215_215"></a><a href="#FNanchor_215_215"><span class="label">[215]</span></a> About a million sterling. [D. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_216_216" id="Footnote_216_216"></a><a href="#FNanchor_216_216"><span class="label">[216]</span></a> This piece is included here on the authority of Mr. Deane +Swift, and was accepted by Sir Walter Scott on the same authority. The +writing is excellent and bears every mark of Swift's hand. In the note +to the "Letter to the Writer of the Occasional Paper" was included the +heads of a paper which Swift suggested, found by Sir H. Craik. The +present "Answer" may serve as further evidence of Sir H. Craik's +suggestion that Swift may have assisted Pulteney and Bolingbroke on more +than one occasion. +</p><p> +The present text is that of the 1768 quarto edition. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_217_217" id="Footnote_217_217"></a><a href="#FNanchor_217_217"><span class="label">[217]</span></a> "Gasping," 1768; "grasping," Nichols, 1801. [T. S.]</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_218_218" id="Footnote_218_218"></a><a href="#FNanchor_218_218"><span class="label">[218]</span></a> +</p><p><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"For neither man nor angel can discern</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Hypocrisy—the only evil that walks</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Invisible, except to God alone,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">By His permissive will, through heaven and earth,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And oft, though Wisdom wake, Suspicion sleeps</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">At Wisdom's gate, and to Simplicity</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Resigns her charge, while Goodness thinks no ill</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where no ill seems."—</span><br /> +<br /> +<i>Paradise Lost</i>, Book III., 682-689. [T. S.]</p></div> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p class='center'>CHISWICK PRESS: CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO.</p> + +<p class='center'>TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, LONDON.</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, +D.D., Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + +***** This file should be named 18250-h.htm or 18250-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/2/5/18250/ + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/18250-h/images/imgswift.jpg b/18250-h/images/imgswift.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..caaa5d8 --- /dev/null +++ b/18250-h/images/imgswift.jpg diff --git a/18250.txt b/18250.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..89bdddc --- /dev/null +++ b/18250.txt @@ -0,0 +1,14157 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., +Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Vol. VII + Historical and Political Tracts--Irish + +Author: Jonathan Swift + +Editor: Temple Scott + +Release Date: April 24, 2006 [EBook #18250] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + + + + ++-------------------------------------------------------------+ +|Transcriber's Note: This book is a compilation of previously | +|published works and therefore contains some inconsistencies. | ++-------------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + +BOHN'S STANDARD LIBRARY + + * * * * * + +THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN SWIFT + +VOL. VII + + + + +LONDON: GEORGE BELL AND SONS +PORTUGAL ST. LINCOLN'S INN, W. C. +CAMBRIDGE: DEIGHTON, BELL & CO. +NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO. +BOMBAY: A. H. WHEELER & CO. + + + + +_In 12 volumes, 5s. each._ + +~THE PROSE WORKS~ + +OF + +~JONATHAN SWIFT, D. D.~ + +EDITED BY + +~TEMPLE SCOTT~ + + + VOL. I. A TALE OF A TUB AND OTHER EARLY WORKS. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With a biographical introduction by + W. E. H. LECKY, M. P. With Portrait and Facsimiles. + + VOL. II. THE JOURNAL TO STELLA. Edited by FREDERICK + RYLAND, M. A. With two Portraits of Stella and a Facsimile of + one of the Letters. + + VOLS. III. & IV. WRITINGS ON RELIGION AND THE + CHURCH. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portraits and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. V. HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--ENGLISH. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portrait and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. VI. THE DRAPIER'S LETTERS. Edited by TEMPLE + SCOTT. With Portrait, Reproductions of Wood's Coinage, and Facsimiles + of Title-pages. + + VOL. VII. HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--IRISH. + Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. With Portrait and Facsimiles of Title-pages. + + VOL. VIII. GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Edited by G. RAVENSCROFT + DENNIS. With Portrait, Maps and Facsimiles. + + VOL. IX. CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE "EXAMINER," + "TATLER," "SPECTATOR," &c. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. + + VOL. X. HISTORICAL WRITINGS. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. + + VOL. XI. LITERARY ESSAYS. Edited by TEMPLE SCOTT. + With Portrait. [_In the press._ + + VOL. XII. FULL BIBLIOGRAPHY AND INDEX TO COMPLETE + WORKS. Together with an Essay on the Portraits of + Swift, by the HON. SIR FREDERICK FALKINER, K. C. With two + Portraits. [_In the press._ + + + + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS + + + "An adequate edition of Swift--the whole of Swift, and nothing but + Swift--has long been one of the pressing needs of students of + English literature. Mr. Temple Scott, who is preparing the new + edition of Swift's Prose Works, has begun well, his first volume is + marked by care and knowledge. He has scrupulously collated his + texts with the first or the best early editions, and has given + various readings in the footnotes.... Mr. Temple Scott may well be + congratulated on his skill and judgment as a commentator.... He has + undoubtedly earned the gratitude of all admirers of our greatest + satirist, and all students of vigorous, masculine, and exact + English."--_Athenaeum._ + + "The volume is an agreeable one to hold and to refer to, and the + notes and apparatus are, on the whole, exact. A cheap and handy + reprint, which we can conscientiously recommend."--_Saturday + Review._ + + "From the specimen now before us we may safely predict that Mr. + Temple Scott will easily distance both Roscoe and Scott. He + deserves the gratitude of all lovers of literature for enabling + Swift again to make his bow to the world in so satisfactory and + complete a garb."--_Manchester Guardian._ + + "Mr. Temple Scott's introductions and notes are excellent in all + respects, and this edition of Swift is likely to be one most + acceptable to scholars."--_Notes and Queries._ + + "The new Bohn's Library edition of the prose works of Jonathan + Swift is a venture which proves itself the more welcome as each + instalment is issued.... This edition is likely long to remain the + standard edition."--_Literary World._ + + "'Bohn's Libraries' need no push, and the magnificent edition of + 'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift,' edited by Mr. Temple Scott, is + in every respect worthy of that great collection of classics. It is + an ideal edition, edited by an ideal editor, beautifully printed, + handsomely bound, and ridiculously cheap. I have no hesitation in + saying that this edition supersedes all its forerunners."--_Star._ + + "We have nothing but praise for the editing, annotating, printing, + and general production. Indeed, now that the set has advanced so + far, we can safely pronounce the opinion that all other editions of + Swift must give place to it, and that no serious student of the + politics of the eighteenth century can afford to be without these + volumes.... A superb edition."--_Irish Times._ + + "Edited with exhaustive care, and produced in excellent style. This + is not only the best, it is the _only_ edition of Swift."--_Pall + Mall Gazette._ + + "There could hardly be a more acceptable addition to Bohn's + Standard Library than a new edition of Swift's Prose Works. The + text is well printed, and the volume is of convenient size. The + edition deserves to be popular, since Swift is a writer who will + always be read, while this edition will bring him within reach of a + number of new readers."--_Scotsman._ + + "The time is now ripe for a definite edition. This, of which the + first volume lies before us, promises to fulfil all the conditions + of a scholarly and satisfying work.... The edition is a genuine + gain to English literature."--_Birmingham Post._ + + "The publishers of Bohn's Libraries will earn the thanks of a wide + circle of readers by their undertaking to produce a popular and + collected edition of the prose works of Swift.... So far as one + may judge from a first instalment, the present edition seems to + fulfil the requirements of popularity and accuracy as well as could + be desired.... The edition promises to be one of the most valuable + and welcome items in those classic 'Libraries' which have done so + much to bring good literature, in worthy form, within the reach of + the British public."--_Glasgow Herald._ + + "We are indebted to the proprietors of the Bohn Libraries for + various literary enterprises, but it is questionable indeed if they + have issued lately a work more acceptable, or likely to become more + popular, than 'The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift.' No better + edition of it could be desired. Mr. Temple Scott is editing the + volumes with the greatest care."--_Belfast News Letter._ + + "No more welcome reprint has appeared for some time past than the + new edition, complete and exact so far as it was possible to make + it, of Swift's 'Journal to Stella.'"--_Morning Post._ + + "By far the most satisfactory text yet printed of the wonderful + 'Journal to Stella.'"--_Newcastle Daily Chronicle._ + + "The 'Journal to Stella' has long stood in need of editing, far + more than any other of Swift's works. It abounds in references to + persons great and small, to political and social 'occurrents,' to + ephemeral publications; and to identify and explain all these + demands an editor steeped in the history, literature, broadsides + and press news of the time of the Harley administration. Mr. + Ryland's present edition will satisfy all but the few who dream of + an ideal."--_Athenaeum._ + + "The immortal 'Journal to Stella,' one of the works most + indispensable to a knowledge of the life and literature of the + early part of the eighteenth century. We know of no shape in which + the Journal is published so convenient for perusal as this. The + notes are short and serviceable, and there is a full + index."--_Notes and Queries._ + + "At last we have a well-printed, carefully edited text of Swift's + famous Journal in a single, handy, and cheap volume. The present + edition will, we hope, encourage many timid souls, who have been + awed by the formidable array of Scott, Sheridan, or Hawkesworth's + editions, to make the acquaintance of the most interesting, + charming, and tender journal that ever man kept for a woman's + eye."--_St. James's Gazette._ + + "Mr. Dennis is quite justified in his boast of now first giving us + a complete and trustworthy text [of 'Gulliver's + Travels']."--_Manchester Guardian._ + + "The number of useless reprints of Gulliver, based on Hawkesworth's + untrustworthy edition, and mostly expurgated besides, is so great + that we owe double thanks to Mr. Dennis, since he has not shirked + the trouble of collating the five earliest editions, and has given + us again at last--as far as is possible in the present case--the + complete and authentic text of the original."--PROF. MAX + FOeRSTER in _Anglia_. + + "An ideal text of 'Gulliver's Travels.'"--_Literary World._ + + "The best and most scholarly edition of 'Gulliver's + Travels.'"--_University Correspondent._ + + * * * * * + + + + +[Illustration: _Jonathan Swift_ + +_From an engraving by Andrew Miller after the painting by Francis Bindon +in the Deanery of St. Patrick's Dublin._] + + + + +THE PROSE WORKS + +OF + +JONATHAN SWIFT, D. D. + +EDITED BY + +TEMPLE SCOTT. + +VOL. VII + +HISTORICAL AND POLITICAL TRACTS--IRISH + + +LONDON +GEORGE BELL AND SONS +1905 +CHISWICK PRESS. CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO. TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, +LONDON. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Swift took up his permanent residence in the Irish capital in 1714. The +Harley Administration had fallen never to rise again. Harley himself was +a prisoner in the Tower, and Bolingbroke a voluntary exile in France, +and an open adherent of the Pretender. Swift came to Dublin to be met by +the jeers of the populace, the suspicion of the government officials, +and the polite indifference of his clerical colleagues. He had time +enough now in which to reflect and employ his brain powers. For several +years he kept himself altogether to his duties as Dean of the Cathedral +of St. Patrick's, only venturing his pen in letters to dear friends in +England--to Pope, Atterbury, Lady Howard. His private relations with +Miss Hester Vanhomrigh came to a climax, also, during this period, and +his peculiar intimacy with "Stella" Johnson took the definite shape in +which we now know it. + +He found himself in debt to his predecessor, Sterne, for a large and +comfortless house and for the cost of his own installation into his +office. The money he was to have received (L1,000) to defray these +expenses, from the last administration, was now, on its fall, kept back +from him. Swift had these encumbrances to pay off and he had his Chapter +to see to. He did both in characteristic fashion. By dint of almost +penurious saving he accomplished the former and the latter he managed +autocratically and with good sense. His connection with Oxford and +Bolingbroke had been of too intimate a nature for those in power to +ignore him. Indeed, his own letters to Knightley Chetwode[1] show us +that he was in great fear of arrest. But there is now no doubt that the +treasonable relations between Harley and St. John and the Pretender were +a great surprise to Swift when they were discovered. He himself had +always been an ardent supporter of the Protestant succession, and his +writings during his later period in Ireland constantly emphasize this +attitude of his--almost too much so. + +The condition of Ireland as Swift found it in 1714, and as he had known +of it even before that time, was of a kind to rouse a temper like his to +quick and indignant expression. Even as early as the spring of 1716 we +find him unable to restrain himself, and in his letter to Atterbury of +April 18th we catch the spirit which, four years later, showed itself in +"The Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures" and the +"Drapier's Letters," and culminated in 1729 in the terrible "Modest +Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen +to their Parents." To Atterbury he wrote: + +"I congratulate with England for joining with us here in the fellowship +of slavery. It is not so terrible a thing as you imagine: we have long +lived under it: and whenever you are disposed to know how to behave +yourself in your new condition, you need go no further than me for a +director. But, because we are resolved to go beyond you, we have +transmitted a bill to England, to be returned here, giving the +Government and six of the Council power for three years to imprison whom +they please for three months, without any trial or examination: and I +expect to be among the first of those upon whom this law will be +executed." + +Writing to Archdeacon Walls[2] (May 5th, 1715) of the people in power, +he said: + +"They shall be deceived as far as my power reaches, and shall not find +me altogether so great a cully as they would willingly make me." + +At that time England was beginning to initiate a new method for what it +called the proper government of Ireland. Hitherto it had tried the plan +of setting one party in the country against another; but now a new party +was called into being, known as the "English party." This party had +nothing to do with the Irish national spirit, and any man, no matter how +capable, who held by such a national spirit, was to be set aside. There +was to be no Irish party or parties as such--there was to be only the +English party governing Ireland in the interests of England. It was the +beginning of a government which led to the appointment of such a man as +Primate Boulter, who simply ruled Ireland behind the Lord Lieutenant +(who was but a figurehead) for and on behalf of the King of England's +advisers. Irish institutions, Irish ideas, Irish traditions, the Irish +Church, Irish schools, Irish language and literature, Irish trade, +manufactures, commerce, agriculture--all were to be subordinated to +England's needs and England's demands. At any cost almost, these were to +be made subservient to the interests of England. So well was this plan +carried out, that Ireland found itself being governed by a small English +clique and its Houses of Parliament a mere tool in the clique's hands. +The Parliament no longer represented the national will, since it did +really nothing but ratify what the English party asked for, or what the +King's ministers in England instructed should be made law. + +Irish manufactures were ruined by legislation; the commerce of Ireland +was destroyed by the same means; her schools became practically +penitentiaries to the Catholic children, who were compelled to receive a +Protestant instruction; her agriculture was degraded to the degree that +cattle could not be exported nor the wool sold or shipped from her own +ports to other countries; her towns swarmed with beggars and thieves, +forced there by the desolation which prevailed in the country districts, +where people starved by the wayside, and where those who lived barely +kept body and soul together to pay the rents of the absentee landlords. + +Swift has himself, in the pamphlets printed in the present volume, given +a fairly accurate and no exaggerated account of the miserable condition +of his country at this time; and his writings are amply corroborated by +other men who might be considered less passionate and more temperate. + +The people had become degraded through the evil influence of a +contemptuous and spendthrift landlord class, who considered the tenant +in no other light than as a rent-paying creature. As Roman Catholics +they found themselves the social inferiors of the ruling Protestant +class--the laws had placed them in that invidious position. They were +practically without any defence. They were ignorant, poor, and +half-starved. Thriftless, like their landlords, they ate up in the +autumn what harvests they gathered, and begged for their winter's +support. Adultery and incest were common and bred a body of lawless +creatures, who herded together like wild beasts and became dangerous +pests. + +Swift knew all this. He had time, between the years 1714 and 1720, to +find it out, even if he had not known of it before. But the condition +was getting worse, and his heart filled, as he told Pope in 1728, with a +"perfect rage and resentment" at "the mortifying sight of slavery, +folly, and baseness about me, among which I am forced to live." + +He commenced what might be called a campaign of attack in 1720, with the +publication of his tract entitled, "A Modest Proposal for the Universal +Use of Irish Manufactures." As has been pointed out in the notes +prefixed to the pamphlets in the present volume, England had, +apparently, gone to work systematically to ruin Irish manufactures. They +seemed to threaten ruin to English industries; at least so the people in +England thought. The pernicious legislation began in the reign of +Charles II. and continued in that of William III. The Irish manufacturer +was not permitted to export his products and found a precarious +livelihood in a contraband trade. Swift's "Proposal" is one of +retaliation. Since England will not allow Ireland to send out her goods, +let the people of Ireland use them, and let them join together and +determine to use nothing from England. Everything that came from England +should be burned, except the people and the coal. If England had the +right to prevent the exportation of the goods made in Ireland, she had +not the right to prevent the people of Ireland from choosing what they +should wear. The temper of the pamphlet was mild in the extreme; but the +governing officials saw in it dangerous symptoms. The pamphlet was +stigmatized as libellous and seditious, and the writer as attempting to +disunite the two nations. The printer was brought to trial, and the +pamphlet obtained a tremendous circulation. Although the jury acquitted +the printer, Chief Justice Whitshed, who had, as Swift puts it, "so +quick an understanding, that he resolved, if possible, to outdo his +orders," sent the jury back nine times to reconsider their verdict. He +even declared solemnly that the author's design was to bring in the +Pretender. This cry of bringing in the Pretender was raised on any and +every occasion, and has been well ridiculed by Swift in his "Examination +of Certain Abuses and Corruptions in the City of Dublin." The end of +Whitshed's persecution could have been foretold--it fizzled out in a +_nolle prosequi_. + +Following on this interesting commencement came the lengthened agitation +against Wood's Halfpence to which we owe the remarkable series of +writings known now as the "Drapier's Letters." These are fully discussed +in the volume preceding this. But Swift found other channels in which to +continue rousing the spirit of the people, and refreshing it to further +effort. The mania for speculation which Law's schemes had given birth +to, reached poor Ireland also. People thought there might be found a +scheme on similar lines by which Ireland might move to prosperity. A +Bank project was initiated for the purpose of assisting small tradesmen. +But a scheme that in itself would have been excellent in a prosperous +society, could only end in failure in such a community as peopled +Ireland. Swift felt this and opposed the plan in his satirical tract, +"The Swearer's Bank." The tract sufficed, for no more was heard of the +National Bank after the House of Commons rejected it. + +The thieves and "roughs" who infested Dublin came in next for Swift's +attention. In characteristic fashion he seized the occasion of the +arrest and execution of one of their leaders to publish a pretended +"Last Speech and Dying Confession," in which he threatened exposure and +arrest to the remainder of the gang if they did not make themselves +scarce. The threat had its effect, and the city found itself +considerably safer as a consequence. + +How Swift pounded out his "rage and resentment" against English +misgovernment, may be further read in the "Story of the Injured Lady," +and in the "Answer" to that story. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who +tells her lover, England, of her attractions, and upbraids him on his +conduct towards her. In the "Answer" Swift tells the Lady what she ought +to do, and hardly minces matters. Let her show the right spirit, he says +to her, and she will find there are many gentlemen who will support her +and champion her cause. + +Then came the plain, pathetic, and truthful recital of the "Short View +of the State of Ireland"--a pamphlet of but a few pages and yet terribly +effective. As an historical document it takes rank with the experiences +of the clergymen, Skelton and Jackson, as well as the more dispassionate +writings of contemporary historians. It is frequently cited by Lecky in +his "History of Ireland." + +What Swift had so far left undone, either from political reasons or from +motives of personal restraint, he completed in what may, without +exaggeration, be called his satirical masterpiece--the "Modest Proposal +for Preventing the Children of Poor People from being a Burthen to their +Parents." Nothing comparable to this piece of writing is to be found in +any literature; while the mere fact that it came into being must stand +as one of the deadliest indictments against England's misrule. +Governments and rulers have been satirized time and again, but no +similar condition of things has existed with a Swift living at the time, +to observe and comment on them. The tract itself must be read with a +knowledge of the Irish conditions then prevailing; its temper is so calm +and restrained that a reader unacquainted with the conditions might be +misled and think that the author of "Gulliver's Travels" was indulging +himself in one of his grim jokes. That it was not a joke its readers at +the time well knew, and many of them also knew how great was the +indignation which raged in Swift's heart to stir him to so unprecedented +an expression of contempt. He had, as he himself said, raged and stormed +only to find himself stupefied. In the "Modest Proposal" he changed his +tune and + + ... with raillery to nettle, + Set your thoughts upon their mettle. + +Swift has been censured for the cold-blooded cynicism of this piece of +writing, but these censurers have entirely misunderstood both his motive +and his meaning. We wonder how any one could take seriously a proposal +for breeding children for food purposes, and our wonder grows in +reflecting on an inability to see through the thin veil of satire which +barely hid an impeachment of a ruling nation by the mere statement of +the proposal itself. That a Frenchman should so misunderstand it (as a +Frenchman did) may not surprise us, but that any Englishman should so +take it argues an utter absence of humour and a total ignorance of Irish +conditions at the time the tract was written. But history has justified +Swift, and it is to his writings, rather than to the many works written +by more commonplace observers, that we now turn for the true story of +Ireland's wrongs, and the real sources of her continued attitude of +hostility towards England's government of her. + +It has been well noted by one of Swift's biographers, that for a +thousand readers which the "Modest Proposal" has found, there is perhaps +only one who is acquainted with Swift's "Answer to the Craftsman." It +may be that the title is misleading or uninviting; but there is no +question that this tract may well stand by the side of the "Modest +Proposal," both for force of argument and pungency of satire. In its way +and within the limits of its more restricted argument it is one of the +ablest pieces of writing Swift has given us on behalf of Irish liberty. + +The title of Irish patriot which Swift obtained was not sought for by +him. It was given him mainly for the part he played, and for the success +he achieved in the Wood's patent agitation. He was acclaimed the +champion of the people, because he had stopped the foolish manoeuvres +of the Walpole Administration. So to label him, however, would be to do +him an injustice. In truth, he would have championed the cause of +liberty and justice in any country in which he lived, had he found +liberty and justice wanting there. The matter of the copper coinage +patent was but a peg for him to hang arguments which applied almost +everywhere. It was not to the particular arguments but to the spirit +which gave them life that we must look for the true value of Swift's +work. And that spirit--honest, brave, strong for the right--is even more +abundantly displayed in the writings we have just considered. They +witness to his championship of liberty and justice, to his impeachment +of selfish office-holders and a short-sighted policy. They gave him his +position as the chief among the citizens of Dublin to whom he spoke as +counsel and adviser. They proclaim him as the friend of the common +people, to whom he was more than the Dean of St. Patrick's. He may have +begun his work impelled by a hatred for Whiggish principles; but he +undoubtedly accomplished it in the spirit of a broad-minded and +far-seeing statesman. The pressing needs of Ireland were too urgent and +crying for him to permit his personal dislike of the Irish natives to +divert him from his humanitarian efforts. If he hated the beggar he was +ready with his charity. The times in which he lived were not times in +which, as he told the freemen of Dublin, "to expect such an exalted +degree of virtue from mortal men." He was speaking to them of the +impossibility of office-holders being independent of the government +under which they held their offices. "Blazing stars," he said, "are much +more frequently seen than such heroical virtues." As the Irish people +were governed by such men he advised them strongly to choose a +parliamentary representative from among themselves. He insisted on the +value of their collected voice, their unanimity of effort, a +consciousness of their understanding of what they wished to bring about. +"Be independent" is the text of all his writings to the people of +Ireland. It is idle to appeal to England's clemency or England's +justice. It is vain to evolve social schemes and Utopian dreams. The +remedy lay in their own hands, if the people only realized it. + +"Violent zeal for truth," Swift noted in one of his "Thoughts on +Religion," "has a hundred to one odds to be either petulancy, ambition, +or pride." Examining Swift's writings on behalf of Ireland by the +criterion provided in this statement, we must acquit him entirely of +misusing any of these qualities. If he were bitter or scornful, he was +certainly not petulant. No one has written with more justice or +coolness; the temper is hot but it is the heat of a conscious and +collected indignation. If he wrote or spoke in a manner somewhat +overbearing, it was not because of ambition, since he was now long past +his youth and his mind had become settled in a fairly complacent +acceptance of his position. If he had pride, and he undoubtedly had, it +was nowhere obtruded for personal aggrandizement, but rather by way of +emphasizing the dignity of citizenship, and the value of self-respect. +Assuredly, in these Irish tracts, Swift was no violent zealot for truth. +Indeed, it is a high compliment to pay him, to say that we wonder he +restrained himself as he did. + +Swift, however, had his weakness also, and it lay, as weaknesses +generally lie, very close to his strength. Swift's fault as a thinker +was the outcome of his intellectuality--he was too purely intellectual. +He set little store on the emotional side of human nature; his appeal +was always to the reason. He hated cant, and any expression of emotion +appealed to him as cant. He could not bear to be seen saying his +prayers; his acts of charity were surreptitious and given in secret with +an affectation of cynicism, so that they might veil the motive which +impelled them. It may have been pride or a dislike to be considered +sentimental; but his attitude owed its spring to a genuine faith in his +own thought. If Swift had one pride more than another, it lay in a +consciousness of his own superiority over his fellow-mortals. It was the +pride of intellect and a belief that man showed himself best by +following the judgements of the reason. His disgust with people was born +of their unreasonable selfishness, their instinctive greed and rapacity, +their blind stupidity, all which resulted for them in so much injustice. +Had they been reasonable, he would have argued, they would have been +better and happier. The sentiments and the passions were impulsive, and +therefore unreasonable. Swift seemed to have no faith in their elevation +to a higher intellectual plane, and yet he often roused them by his very +appeals to reason. His eminently successful "Drapier's Letters" are a +case in point. Yet we question if Swift were not himself surprised at +their effect. He knew his power later when he threatened the Archbishop +of Armagh, but he, no doubt, credited the result to his own arguments, +and not to the passions he had aroused. His sense of justice was the +strongest, and it was through that sense that the condition of the +people of Ireland appealed to him. He forgot, or he did not see that the +very passion in himself was of prime importance, since it was really to +it that his own efforts were due. The fine flower of imagination never +blossomed in Swift. He was neither prophet nor poet; but he was a great +leader, a splendid captain, a logical statesman. It is to this lack of +imagination that we must look for the real root of his cynical humour +and satirical temper. A more imaginative man than Swift with much less +power would have better appreciated the weaknesses of humanity and made +allowances for them. He would never have held them up to ridicule and +contempt, but would rather have laid stress on those instincts of honour +and nobility which the most ignorant and least reasoning possess in some +degree. + +Looking back on the work Swift did, and comparing its effect at the time +with the current esteem in which he is held in the present day, we shall +find that his reputation has altogether changed. In his own day, and +especially during his life in Ireland, his work was special, and brought +him a special repute. He was a party's advocate and the people's friend. +His literary output, distinguished though it was, was of secondary +importance compared with the purpose for which it was accomplished. He +was the friend of Harley, the champion of the Protestant Church, the +Irish patriot, the enemy of Whiggism, the opponent of Nonconformity. +To-day all these phrases mean little or nothing to those who know of +Swift as the author of "A Tale of a Tub," and "Gulliver's Travels." +Swift is now accepted as a great satirist, and admired for the wonderful +knowledge he shows of the failings and weaknesses of human nature. He is +admired but never loved. The particular occasions in his life-time +which urged him to rouse passions mean nothing to us; they have lost the +aroma of his just indignation and are become historical events. What is +left of him for us is the result of cold analysis and almost heartless +contempt. How different would it have been had Swift allied his great +gift as a writer to such a spirit as breathes in the Sermon on the +Mount! But to wish this is perhaps as foolish as to expect dates to grow +on thistles. We must accept what is given us, and see that we, at any +rate, steer clear of the dangers mapped out for us by the travellers of +the past. + + * * * * * + +The editor takes this opportunity to thank Mr. G. Ravenscroft Dennis and +Mr. W. Spencer Jackson for much valuable assistance in the reading of +proofs and the collation of texts. + +TEMPLE SCOTT. + +NEW YORK, + +_May 18, 1905._ + + + + +CONTENTS + PAGE + + + A LETTER TO A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, UPON + THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE 1 + + A PROPOSAL FOR THE UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE 11 + + AN ESSAY ON ENGLISH BUBBLES. BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. 31 + + THE SWEARER'S BANK 37 + + A LETTER TO THE KING AT ARMS 47 + + THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON 55 + + THE TRUTH OF SOME MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT, + EXAMINED WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND 63 + + THE BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, AND MISFORTUNES + OF QUILCA 73 + + A SHORT VIEW OF THE STATE OF IRELAND 79 + + THE STORY OF THE INJURED LADY. WRITTEN BY HERSELF 93 + + THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY 104 + + AN ANSWER TO A PAPER CALLED "A MEMORIAL OF THE POOR + INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM + OF IRELAND" 107 + + ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS 117 + + AN ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS SENT ME FROM UNKNOWN + HANDS 127 + + A LETTER TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN CONCERNING THE + WEAVERS 135 + + OBSERVATIONS OCCASIONED BY READING A PAPER ENTITLED + "THE CASE OF THE WOOLLEN MANUFACTURES OF DUBLIN," + ETC. 145 + + THE PRESENT MISERABLE STATE OF IRELAND 151 + + THE SUBSTANCE OF WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. + PATRICK'S TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN + WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID + DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX 167 + + ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT IN HIS DEFENCE AGAINST + JOSHUA, LORD ALLEN 173 + + A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, + AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED 177 + + A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND + SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN IRISH MANUFACTURES 191 + + A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF + POOR PEOPLE FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS + OR THE COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO + THE PUBLIC 201 + + ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN 217 + + A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET 225 + + A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT TO PAY OFF THE + DEBT OF THE NATION WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT 251 + + A CASE SUBMITTED BY DEAN SWIFT TO MR. LINDSAY, COUNSELLOR + AT LAW 259 + + AN EXAMINATION OF CERTAIN ABUSES, CORRUPTIONS, AND + ENORMITIES IN THE CITY OF DUBLIN 261 + + A SERIOUS AND USEFUL SCHEME TO MAKE AN HOSPITAL FOR + INCURABLES 283 + + THE HUMBLE PETITION OF THE FOOTMEN IN AND ABOUT THE + CITY OF DUBLIN 305 + + ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN IN THE + CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT 309 + + SOME CONSIDERATIONS HUMBLY OFFERED TO THE LORD + MAYOR, THE COURT OF ALDERMEN AND COMMON-COUNCIL + OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN IN THE CHOICE OF A RECORDER 317 + + A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING BADGES TO THE BEGGARS IN ALL THE + PARISHES OF DUBLIN 321 + + CONSIDERATIONS ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR 337 + + ON BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS IN IRELAND 343 + + SPEECH DELIVERED ON THE LOWERING OF THE COIN 351 + + IRISH ELOQUENCE 361 + + A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE 362 + + TO THE PROVOST AND SENIOR FELLOWS OF TRINITY COLLEGE, + DUBLIN 364 + + TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL THE MAYOR, ALDERMEN, + SHERIFFS, AND COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF + CORK 366 + + TO THE HONOURABLE THE SOCIETY OF THE GOVERNOR AND + ASSISTANTS IN LONDON, FOR THE NEW PLANTATION IN + ULSTER 368 + + CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT 369 + + AN EXHORTATION ADDRESSED TO THE SUB-DEAN AND CHAPTER + OF ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL, DUBLIN 370 + + APPENDIX: + + A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF THE OCCASIONAL PAPER 375 + + AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN 382 + + THE ANSWER OF THE RIGHT HON. WILLIAM PULTENEY, + ESQ., TO THE RIGHT HON. SIR ROBERT WALPOLE 392 + + INDEX 401 + + + + +A LETTER + +TO + +A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, + +UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW SPEAKER THERE. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1708. + + + + + NOTE. + + + In the note prefixed to the reprint of Swift's "Letter concerning + the Sacramental Test," the circumstances under which this "Letter + to a Member of Parliament in Ireland" was written, are explained + (see vol. iv., pp. 3-4, of present edition). The Godolphin ministry + was anxious to repeal the Test Act in Ireland, as a concession to + the Presbyterians who had made themselves prominent by their + expressions of loyalty to William and the Protestant succession. In + this particular year also (1708), rumours of an invasion gave them + another opportunity to send in loyal addresses. In reality, + however, the endeavour to try the repeal in Ireland, was in the + nature of a test, and Swift ridiculed the attempt as being like to + "that of a discreet physician, who first gives a new medicine to a + dog, before he prescribes it to a human creature." It seems that + Swift had been consulted by Somers on the question of the repeal, + and had given his opinion very frankly. The letter to Archbishop + King, revealing this, contains some bitter remarks about "a certain + lawyer of Ireland." The lawyer was Speaker Brodrick, afterwards + Lord Midleton, who was enthusiastic for the repeal. The present + letter gives a very clear idea of what Swift thought should be a + Speaker's duties both as the chairman of the House and as related + to this particular measure of the Test. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present reprint is based on the original manuscript + in Swift's handwriting; but as this was found to be somewhat + illegible, it has been collated with the text given in vol. viii. + of the quarto edition of Swift's collected works, published in + 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER TO A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN IRELAND, UPON THE CHOOSING A NEW +SPEAKER THERE. + + +SIR, + +You may easily believe I am not at all surprised at what you tell me, +since it is but a confirmation of my own conjecture that I sent you last +week, and made you my reproaches upon it at a venture. It looks +exceeding strange, yet, I believe it to be a great truth, that, in order +to carry a point in your house, the two following circumstances are of +great advantage; first, to have an ill cause; and, secondly, to be a +minority. For both these circumstances are extremely apt to unite men, +to make them assiduous in their attendance, watchful of opportunities, +zealous for gaining over proselytes, and often successful; which is not +to be wondered at, when favour and interest are on the side of their +opinion. Whereas, on the contrary, a majority with a good cause are +negligent and supine. They think it sufficient to declare themselves +upon occasion in favour of their party, but, sailing against the tide of +favour and preferment, they are easily scattered and driven back. In +short, they want a common principle to cement, and motive to spirit +them; For the bare acting upon a principle from the dictates of a good +conscience, or prospect of serving the public, will not go very far +under the present dispositions of mankind. This was amply verified last +sessions of Parliament, upon occasion of the money bill, the merits of +which I shall not pretend to examine. 'Tis enough that, upon the first +news of its transmission hither, in the form it afterwards appeared, the +members, upon discourse with their friends, seemed unanimous against it, +I mean those of both parties, except a few, who were looked upon as +persons ready to go any lengths prescribed them by the court. Yet with +only a week's canvassing among a very few hands, the bill passed after a +full debate, by a very great majority; yet, I believe, you will hardly +attempt persuading me, or anybody else, that one man in ten, of those +who changed their language, were moved by reasons any way affecting the +merits of the cause, but merely through hope, fear, indolence, or good +manners. Nay, I have been assured from good hands, that there was still +a number sufficient to make a majority against the bill, if they had not +apprehended the other side to be secure, and therefore thought it +imprudence, by declaring themselves, to disoblige the government to no +purpose. + +Reflecting upon this and forty other passages, in the several Houses of +Commons since the Revolution, makes me apt to think there is nothing a +chief governor can be commanded to attempt here wherein he may not +succeed, with a very competent share of address, and with such +assistance as he will always find ready at his devotion. And therefore I +repeat what I said at first, that I am not at all surprised at what you +tell me. For, if there had been the least spark of public spirit left, +those who wished well to their country and its constitution in church +and state, should, upon the first news of the late Speaker's promotion, +(and you and I know it might have been done a great deal sooner) have +immediately gone together, and consulted about the fittest person to +succeed him. But, by all I can comprehend, you have been so far from +proceeding thus, that it hardly ever came into any of your heads. And +the reason you give is the worst in the world: That none offered +themselves, and you knew not whom to pitch upon. It seems, however, the +other party was more resolved, or at least not so modest: For you say +your vote is engaged against your opinion, and several gentlemen in my +neighbourhood tell me the same story of themselves; this, I confess, is +of an unusual strain, and a good many steps below any condescensions a +court will, I hope, ever require from you. I shall not trouble myself to +inquire who is the person for whom you and others are engaged, or +whether there be more candidates from that side, than one. You tell me +nothing of either, and I never thought it worth the question to anybody +else. But, in so weighty an affair, and against your judgment, I cannot +look upon you as irrevocably determined. Therefore I desire you will +give me leave to reason with you a little upon the subject, lest your +compliance, or inadvertency, should put you upon what you may have cause +to repent as long as you live. + +You know very well, the great business of the high-flying Whigs, at this +juncture, is to endeavour a repeal of the test clause. You know likewise +that the moderate men, both of High and Low Church, profess to be wholly +averse from this design, as thinking it beneath the policy of common +gardeners to cut down the only hedge that shelters from the north.[3] +Now, I will put the case; If the person to whom you have promised your +vote be one of whom you have the least apprehension that he will promote +or assent to the repealing of that clause, whether it be decent or +proper, he should be the mouth of an assembly, whereof a very great +majority pretend to abhor his opinion. Can a body, whose mouth and heart +must go so contrary ways, ever act with sincerity, or hardly with +consistence? Such a man is no proper vehicle to retain or convey the +sense of the House, which, in so many points of the greatest moment, +will be directly contrary to his; 'tis full as absurd, as to prefer a +man to a bishopric who denies revealed religion. But it may possibly be +a great deal worse. What if the person you design to vote into that +important post, should not only be a declared enemy of the sacramental +test, but should prove to be a solicitor, an encourager, or even a +penner of addresses to complain of it? Do you think it so indifferent a +thing, that a promise of course, the effect of compliance, importunity, +shame of refusing, or any the like motive, shall oblige you past the +power of retracting? + +Perhaps you will tell me, as some have already had the weakness to do, +that it is of little importance to either party to have a Speaker of +their side, his business being only to take the sense of the House and +report it, that you often, at committees, put an able speaker into the +chair on purpose to prevent him from stopping a bill. Why, if it were no +more than this, I believe I should hardly choose, even among my footmen, +such a one to deliver a message, whose interest and opinions led him to +wish it might miscarry. But I remember to have heard old Colonel +Birch[4] of Herefordshire say, that "he was a very sorry Speaker, whose +single vote was not better than fifty common ones." I am sure it is +reckoned in England the first great test of the prevalency of either +party in the House. Sir Thomas Littleton[5] thought, that a House of +Commons with a stinking breath (supposing the Speaker to be the mouth) +would go near to infect everything within the walls, and a great deal +without. It is the smallest part of an able Speaker's business, what he +performs in the House, at least if he be in with the court, when it is +hard to say how many converts may be made in a circle of dinners, or +private cabals. And you and I can easily call to mind a gentleman in +that station, in England, who, by his own arts and personal credit, was +able to draw over a majority, and change the whole power of a prevailing +side in a nice juncture of affairs, and made a Parliament expire in one +party who had lived in another. + +I am far from an inclination to multiply party causes, but surely the +best of us can with very ill grace make that an objection, who have not +been so nice in matters of much less importance. Yet I have heard some +persons of both sides gravely deliver themselves in this manner; "Why +should we make the choosing a Speaker a party cause? Let us fix upon one +who is well versed in the practices and methods of parliament." And I +believe there are too many who would talk at the same rate, if the +question were not only about abolishing the sacramental test, but the +sacrament itself. + +But suppose the principles of the most artful Speaker could have no +influence either to obtain or obstruct any point in Parliament, who can +answer what effects such a choice may produce without doors? 'Tis +obvious how small a matter serves to raise the spirits and hopes of the +Dissenters and their high-flying advocates, what lengths they run, what +conclusions they form, and what hopes they entertain. Do they hear of a +new friend in office? That is encouragement enough to practise the +city, against the opinion of a majority into an address to the Queen for +repealing the sacramental test; or issue out their orders to the next +fanatic parson to furbish up his old sermons, and preach and print new +ones directly against Episcopacy. I would lay a good wager, that, if the +choice of a new Speaker succeeds exactly to their liking, we shall see +it soon followed by many new attempts, either in the form of pamphlet, +sermon, or address, to the same, or perhaps more dangerous purposes. + +Supposing the Speaker's office to be only an employment of profit and +honour, and a step to a better; since it is in your own gift, will you +not choose to bestow it upon some person whose principles the majority +of you pretends to approve, if it were only to be sure of a worthy man +hereafter in a high station, on the bench or at the bar? + +I confess, if it were a thing possible to be compassed, it would seem +most reasonable to fill the chair with some person who would be entirely +devoted to neither party: But, since there are so few of that character, +and those either unqualified or unfriended, I cannot see how a majority +will answer it to their reputation, to be so ill provided of able +persons, that they must have recourse for a leader to their adversaries, +a proceeding of which I never met with above one example, and even that +succeeded but ill, though it was recommended by an oracle, which advised +some city in Greece to beg a general from their enemies, who, in scorn, +sent them either a fiddler or a poet, I have forgot which; but so much I +remember, that his conduct was such, as they soon grew weary of him. + +You pretend to be heartily resolved against repealing the sacramental +test, yet, at the same time, give the only great employment you have to +dispose of to a person who will take that test against his stomach (by +which word I understand many a man's conscience) who earnestly wisheth +it repealed, and will endeavour it to the utmost of his power; so that +the first action after you meet, will be a sort of contravention to that +test: And will anybody go further than your practice to judge of your +principles? + +And now I am upon this subject, I cannot conclude without saying +something to a very popular argument against that sacramental test, +which may be apt to shake many of those who would otherwise wish well +enough to it. They say it was a new hardship put upon the Dissenters, +without any provocation; and, it is plain, could be no way necessary, +because we had peaceably lived together so long without it. They add +some other circumstances of the arts by which it was obtained, and the +person by whom it was inserted. Surely such people do not consider that +the penal laws against Dissenters were made wholly ineffectual by the +connivance and mercy of the government, so that all employments of the +state lay as open to them as they did to the best and most legal +subjects. And what progress they would have made by the advantages of a +late conjecture, is obvious to imagine; which I take to be a full answer +to that objection. + +I remember, upon the transmission of that bill with the test clause +inserted, the Dissenters and their partisans, among other topics, spoke +much of the good effects produced by the lenity of the government, that +the Presbyterians were grown very inconsiderable in their number and +quality, and would daily come into the church, if we did not fright them +from it by new severities. When the act was passed, they presently +changed their style, and raised a clamour, through both kingdoms, of the +great numbers of considerable gentry who were laid aside, and could no +longer serve their queen and country; which hyperbolical way of +reckoning, when it came to be melted down into truth, amounted to about +fifteen country justices, most of them of the lowest size, for estate, +quality, or understanding. However, this puts me in mind of a passage +told me by a great man, though I know not whether it be anywhere +recorded. That a complaint was made to the king and council in Sweden, +of a prodigious swarm of Scots, who, under the condition of pedlars, +infested that kingdom to such a degree, as, if not suddenly prevented, +might in time prove dangerous to the state, by joining with any +discontented party. Meanwhile the Scots, by their agents, placed a good +sum of money to engage the offices of the prime minister in their +behalf; who, in order to their defence, told the council, he was assured +they were but a few inconsiderable people, that lived honestly and +poorly, and were not of any consequence. Their enemies offered to prove +the contrary, whereupon an order was made to take their number, which +was found to amount, as I remember, to about thirty thousand. The affair +was again brought before the council, and great reproaches made the +first minister, for his ill computation; who, presently took the other +handle, said, he had reason to believe the number yet greater than what +was returned; and then gravely offered to the king's consideration, +whether it were safe to render desperate so great a body of able men, +who had little to lose, and whom any hard treatment would only serve to +unite into a power capable of disturbing, if not destroying the peace of +the kingdom. And so they were suffered to continue. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR THE + +UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This pamphlet constitutes the opening of a campaign against his + political enemies in England on whom Swift had, it must be + presumed, determined to take revenge. When the fall of Harley's + administration was complete and irrevocable, Swift returned to + Ireland and, for six years, he lived the simple life of the Dean of + St. Patrick's, unheard of except by a few of his more intimate + friends in England. Accustomed by years of intimacy with the + ministers of Anne's court, and by his own temperament, to act the + part of leader and adviser, Swift's compulsory silence must have + chafed and irritated him to a degree. His opportunities for + advancement had passed with the passing of Harley and Bolingbroke + from power, and he had given too ardent and enthusiastic a support + to these friends of his for Walpole to look to him for a like + service. Moreover, however strong may have been these personal + motives, Swift's detestation of Walpole's Irish policy must have + been deep and bitter, even before he began to express himself on + the matter. His sincerity cannot be doubted, even if we make an + ample allowance for a private grudge against the great English + minister. The condition of Ireland, at this time, was such as to + arouse the warmest indignation from the most indifferent and + unprejudiced--and it was a condition for which English misrule was + mainly responsible. It cannot therefore be wondered at that Swift + should be among the strenuous and persistent opponents of a policy + which spelled ruin to his country, and his patriotism must be + recognized even if we accept the existence of a personal motive. + + The crass stupidity which characterized England's dealings with + Ireland at this time would be hardly credible, were it not on + record in the acts passed in the reigns of Charles II. and William + III., and embodied in the resolutions of the English parliament + during Walpole's term of power. An impartial historian is forced to + the conclusion that England had determined to ruin the sister + nation. Already its social life was disreputable; the people taxed + in various ways far beyond their means; the agriculture at the + lowest state by the neglect and indifference of the landed + proprietors; and the manufactures crippled by a series of + pernicious restrictions imposed by a selfish rival. + + Swift, in writing this "Proposal," did not take advantage of any + special occasion, as he did later in the matter of Wood's + halfpence. His occasion must be found in the condition of the + country, in the injustice to which she was subjected, and in the + fact that the time had come when it would be wise and safe for him + to come out once more into the open. + + He began in his characteristic way. All the evils that the laws + against the manufactures and agriculture of Ireland brought into + existence are summarized in this "Proposal." His business is not to + attack the laws directly, but to attempt a method by which these + shall be nullified. Since the manufactures of Ireland might not be + exported for sale, let the people of Ireland wear them themselves, + and let them resolve and determine to wear them in preference to + those imported from England. If England had the right to prevent + the importation to it of Irish woollen goods, it was surely only + just that the Irish should exercise then right to wear their own + home-made clothes! The tract was a reasonable and mild statement. + Yet, such was the temper of the governing officials, that a cry was + raised against it and the writer accused of attempting to disunite + the two kingdoms. With consistent foolishness, the printer was + brought to trial, and although the jury acquitted him, yet the Lord + Chief Justice Whitshed, zealous for his employer more than for his + office, refused to accept the verdict and attempted to force the + jury to a conviction. In his letter to Pope, dated January 10th, + 1720-21, Swift gives an account of this matter: + + "I have written in this kingdom, a discourse, to persuade the + wretched people to wear their own manufactures, instead of those + from England. This treatise soon spread very fast, being agreeable + to the sentiments of the whole nation, except those gentlemen who + had employments, or were expectants. Upon which a person in great + office here immediately took the alarm; he sent in haste for the + chief-justice, and informed him of a seditious, factious, and + virulent pamphlet, lately published, with a design of setting the + two kingdoms at variance; directing, at the same time, that the + printer should be prosecuted with the utmost rigour of the law. The + chief-justice has so quick an understanding, that he resolved, if + possible, to outdo his orders. The grand juries of the county and + city were effectually practised with, to represent the said + pamphlet with all aggravating epithets, for which they had thanks + sent them from England, and their presentments published, for + several weeks, in all the newspapers. The printer was seized, and + forced to give great bail. After his trial, the jury brought him in + not guilty, although they had been culled with the utmost industry. + The chief-justice sent them back nine times, and kept them eleven + hours, until, being perfectly tired out, they were forced to leave + the matter to the mercy of the judge, by what they call a _special + verdict_. During the trial, the chief-justice, among other + singularities, laid his hand on his breast, and protested solemnly + that the author's design was to bring in the Pretender, although + there was not a single syllable of party in the whole treatise; and + although it was known that the most eminent of those who professed + his own principles, publicly disallowed his proceedings. But the + cause being so very odious and unpopular, the trial of the verdict + was deferred from one term to another, until, upon the Duke of + Grafton's, the lord lieutenant's arrival, his grace, after mature + advice, and permission from England, was pleased to grant a _noli + prosequi_." + + This Chief Justice Whitshed was the same who acted as judge on + Harding's trial for printing the fourth Drapier letter. Swift never + forgot him, and took several occasions to satirize him bitterly. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on the Dublin edition of + 1720 and collated with the texts of Faulkner, 1735, and + Miscellanies of same date. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +PROPOSAL + +For the universal Use + +Of _Irish_ Manufacture, + +IN + +Cloaths and Furniture of Houses, &c. + +UTTERLY + +_Rejecting_ and _Renouncing_ + +Every Thing wearable that comes from + +ENGLAND. + + * * * * * + +_Dublin_: Printed and Sold by _E. Waters_, in _Essex-street_, at the +Corner of _Sycamore-Alley_, 1720. + + + + +A PROPOSAL FOR THE UNIVERSAL USE OF IRISH MANUFACTURE, IN CLOTHES +AND FURNITURE OF HOUSES, &c. + +UTTERLY REJECTING AND RENOUNCING EVERY THING WEARABLE THAT COMES FROM +ENGLAND. + + +It is the peculiar felicity and prudence of the people in this kingdom, +that whatever commodities or productions lie under the greatest +discouragements from England, those are what we are sure to be most +industrious in cultivating and spreading. Agriculture, which hath been +the principal care of all wise nations, and for the encouragement +whereof there are so many statute laws in England, we countenance so +well, that the landlords are everywhere by penal clauses absolutely +prohibiting their tenants from ploughing; not satisfied to confine them +within certain limitations, as it is the practice of the English; one +effect of which is already seen in the prodigious dearness of corn, and +the importation of it from London, as the cheaper market:[6] And because +people are the riches of a country, and that our neighbours have done, +and are doing all that in them lie, to make our wool a drug to us, and a +monopoly to them; therefore the politic gentlemen of Ireland have +depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding of sheep.[7] + +I could fill a volume as large as the history of the Wise Men of Gotham +with a catalogue only of some wonderful laws and customs we have +observed within thirty years past.[8] 'Tis true indeed, our beneficial +traffic of wool with France, hath been our only support for several +years past, furnishing us all the little money we have to pay our rents +and go to market. But our merchants assure me, "This trade hath received +a great damp by the present fluctuating condition of the coin in France; +and that most of their wine is paid for in specie, without carrying +thither any commodity from hence." + +However, since we are so universally bent upon enlarging our flocks, it +may be worth enquiring what we shall do with our wool, in case +Barnstaple[9] should be overstocked, and our French commerce should +fail? + +I could wish the Parliament had thought fit to have suspended their +regulation of church matters, and enlargements of the prerogative till a +more convenient time, because they did not appear very pressing (at +least to the persons principally concerned) and instead of these great +refinements in politics and divinity, had amused themselves and their +committees a little with the state of the nation. For example: What if +the House of Commons had thought fit to make a resolution _nemine +contradicente_ against wearing any cloth or stuff in their families, +which were not of the growth and manufacture of this kingdom? What if +they had extended it so far as utterly to exclude all silks, velvets, +calicoes, and the whole lexicon of female fopperies; and declared, that +whoever acted otherwise, should be deemed and reputed an enemy to the +nation?[10] What if they had sent up such a resolution to be agreed to +by the House of Lords, and by their own practice and encouragement +spread the execution of it in their several countries? What if we should +agree to make burying in woollen a fashion, as our neighbours have made +it a law? What if the ladies would be content with Irish stuffs for the +furniture of their houses, for gowns and petticoats to themselves and +their daughters? Upon the whole, and to crown all the rest: Let a firm +resolution be taken by male and female, never to appear with one single +shred that comes from England; "And let all the people say, +AMEN." + +I hope and believe nothing could please His Majesty better than to hear +that his loyal subjects of both sexes in this kingdom celebrated his +birthday (now approaching) universally clad in their own manufacture. Is +there virtue enough left in this deluded people to save them from the +brink of ruin? If the men's opinions may be taken, the ladies will look +as handsome in stuffs as brocades; and since all will be equal, there +may be room enough to employ their wit and fancy in choosing and +matching of patterns and colours. I heard the late Archbishop of Tuam +mention a pleasant observation of somebody's; "that Ireland would never +be happy till a law were made for burning everything that came from +England, except their people and their coals." Nor am I even yet for +lessening the number of those exceptions.[11] + + Non tanti mitra est, non tanti judicis ostrum. + +But I should rejoice to see a staylace from England be thought +scandalous, and become a topic for censure at visits and tea-tables. + +If the unthinking shopkeepers in this town had not been utterly +destitute of common sense, they would have made some proposal to the +Parliament, with a petition to the purpose I have mentioned; promising +to improve the "cloths and stuffs of the nation into all possible +degrees of fineness and colours, and engaging not to play the knave +according to their custom, by exacting and imposing upon the nobility +and gentry either as to the prices or the goodness." For I remember in +London upon a general mourning, the rascally mercers and +woollen-drapers, would in four-and-twenty hours raise their cloths and +silks to above a double price; and if the mourning continued long, then +come whining with petitions to the court, that they were ready to +starve, and their fineries lay upon their hands. + +I could wish our shopkeepers would immediately think on this proposal, +addressing it to all persons of quality and others; but first be sure to +get somebody who can write sense, to put it into form. + +I think it needless to exhort the clergy to follow this good example, +because in a little time, those among them who are so unfortunate to +have had their birth and education in this country, will think +themselves abundantly happy when they can afford Irish crape, and an +Athlone hat; and as to the others I shall not presume to direct them. I +have indeed seen the present Archbishop of Dublin clad from head to foot +in our own manufacture; and yet, under the rose be it spoken, his Grace +deserves as good a gown as any prelate in Christendom.[12] + +I have not courage enough to offer one syllable on this subject to their +honours of the army: Neither have I sufficiently considered the great +importance of scarlet and gold lace. + +The fable in Ovid of Arachne and Pallas, is to this purpose. The goddess +had heard of one Arachne a young virgin, very famous for spinning and +weaving. They both met upon a trial of skill; and Pallas finding herself +almost equalled in her own art, stung with rage and envy, knocked her +rival down, turned her into a spider, enjoining her to spin and weave +for ever, out of her own bowels, and in a very narrow compass. I +confess, that from a boy, I always pitied poor Arachne, and could never +heartily love the goddess on account of so cruel and unjust a sentence; +which however is fully executed upon us by England, with further +additions of rigour and severity. For the greatest part of our bowels +and vitals are extracted, without allowing us the liberty of spinning +and weaving them. + +The Scripture tells us, that "oppression makes a wise man mad." +Therefore, consequently speaking, the reason why some men are not mad, +is because they are not wise: However, it were to be wished that +oppression would in time teach a little wisdom to fools. + +I was much delighted with a person who hath a great estate in this +kingdom, upon his complaints to me, "how grievously poor England suffers +by impositions from Ireland. That we convey our own wool to France in +spite of all the harpies at the custom-house. That Mr. Shuttleworth, and +others on the Cheshire coasts are such fools to sell us their bark at a +good price for tanning our own hides into leather; with other enormities +of the like weight and kind." To which I will venture to add some more: +"That the mayoralty of this city is always executed by an inhabitant, +and often by a native, which might as well be done by a deputy, with a +moderate salary, whereby poor England lose at least one thousand pounds +a year upon the balance. That the governing of this kingdom costs the +lord lieutenant two thousand four hundred pounds a year,[13] so much +_net_ loss to poor England. That the people of Ireland presume to dig +for coals in their own grounds, and the farmers in the county of Wicklow +send their turf to the very market of Dublin, to the great +discouragement of the coal trade at Mostyn and Whitehaven. That the +revenues of the post-office here, so righteously belonging to the +English treasury, as arising chiefly from our own commerce with each +other, should be remitted to London, clogged with that grievous burthen +of exchange, and the pensions paid out of the Irish revenues to English +favourites, should lie under the same disadvantage, to the great loss of +the grantees. When a divine is sent over to a bishopric here, with the +hopes of five-and-twenty hundred pounds a year; upon his arrival, he +finds, alas! a dreadful discount of ten or twelve _per cent._ A judge or +a commissioner of the revenue has the same cause of complaint."--Lastly, + +"The ballad upon Cotter is vehemently suspected to be Irish manufacture; +and yet is allowed to be sung in our open streets, under the very nose +of the government."[14] These are a few among the many hardships we put +upon that _poor_ kingdom of England; for which I am confident every +honest man wishes a remedy: And I hear there is a project on foot for +transporting our best wheaten straw by sea and land carriage to +Dunstable; and obliging us by a law to take off yearly so many ton of +straw hats for the use of our women, which will be a great encouragement +to the manufacture of that industrious town. + +I should be glad to learn among the divines, whether a law to bind men +without their own consent, be obligatory _in foro conscientiae_; because +I find Scripture, Sanderson and Suarez are wholly silent in the matter. +The oracle of reason, the great law of nature, and general opinion of +civilians, wherever they treat of limited governments, are indeed +decisive enough. + +It is wonderful to observe the bias among our people in favour of +things, persons, and wares of all kinds that come from England. The +printer tells his hawkers that he has got "an excellent new song just +brought from London." I have somewhat of a tendency that way myself; and +upon hearing a coxcomb from thence displaying himself with great +volubility upon the park, the playhouse, the opera, the gaming +ordinaries, it was apt to beget in me a kind of veneration for his parts +and accomplishments. 'Tis not many years, since I remember a person who +by his style and literature seems to have been corrector of a +hedge-press in some blind alley about Little Britain, proceed gradually +to be an author, at least a translator of a lower rate, though somewhat +of a larger bulk, than any that now flourishes in Grub Street; and upon +the strength of this foundation, come over here, erect himself up into +an orator and politician, and lead a kingdom after him.[15] This, I am +told, was the very motive that prevailed on the author of a play, called +"Love in a hollow Tree," to do us the honour of a visit; presuming with +very good reason, that he was a writer of a superior class.[16] I know +another, who for thirty years past, hath been the common standard of +stupidity in England, where he was never heard a minute in any assembly, +or by any party with common Christian treatment; yet upon his arrival +hither, could put on a face of importance and authority, talked more +than six, without either gracefulness, propriety, or meaning; and at the +same time be admired and followed as the pattern of eloquence and +wisdom. + +Nothing hath humbled me so much, or shewn a greater disposition to a +contemptuous treatment of Ireland in some chief governors,[17] than that +high style of several speeches from the throne, delivered, as usual, +after the royal assent, in some periods of the two last reigns. Such +high exaggerations of the prodigious condescensions in the prince, to +pass those good laws, would have but an odd sound at Westminster: +Neither do I apprehend how any good law can pass, wherein the king's +interest is not as much concerned as that of the people. I remember +after a speech on the like occasion, delivered by my Lord Wharton, (I +think it was his last) he desired Mr. Addison to ask my opinion of it: +My answer was, "That his Excellency had very honestly forfeited his head +on account of one paragraph; wherein he asserted by plain consequence, a +dispensing power in the Queen." His Lordship owned it was true, but +swore the words were put into his mouth by direct orders from Court. +From whence it is clear, that some ministers in those times, were apt, +from their high elevation, to look down upon this kingdom as if it had +been one of their colonies of outcasts in America. And I observed a +little of the same turn of spirit in some great men, from whom I +expected better; although to do them justice, it proved no point of +difficulty to make them correct their idea, whereof the whole nation +quickly found the benefit?--But that is forgotten. How the style hath +since run, I am wholly a stranger, having never seen a speech since the +last of the Queen. + +I would now expostulate a little with our country landlords, who by +unmeasurable screwing and racking their tenants all over the kingdom, +have already reduced the miserable people to a worse condition than the +peasants in France, or the vassals in Germany and Poland; so that the +whole species of what we call substantial farmers, will in a very few +years be utterly at an end.[18] It was pleasant to observe these +gentlemen labouring with all their might for preventing the bishops from +letting their revenues at a moderate half value, (whereby the whole +order would in an age have been reduced to manifest beggary) at the very +instant when they were everywhere canting their own lands upon short +leases, and sacrificing their oldest tenants for a penny an acre +advance.[19] I know not how it comes to pass, (and yet perhaps I know +well enough) that slaves have a natural disposition to be tyrants; and +that when my betters give me a kick, I am apt to revenge it with six +upon my footman; although perhaps he may be an honest and diligent +fellow. I have heard great divines affirm, that "nothing is so likely to +call down an universal judgment from Heaven upon a nation as universal +oppression;" and whether this be not already verified in part, their +worships the landlords are now at full leisure to consider. Whoever +travels this country, and observes the face of nature, or the faces, and +habits, and dwellings of the natives, will hardly think himself in a +land where either law, religion, or common humanity is professed.[20] + +I cannot forbear saying one word upon a thing they call a bank, which I +hear is projecting in this town.[21] I never saw the proposals, nor +understand any one particular of their scheme: What I wish for at +present, is only a sufficient provision of hemp, and caps, and bells, +to distribute according to the several degrees of honesty and prudence +in some persons. I hear only of a monstrous sum already named; and if +others, do not soon hear of it too, and hear of it with a vengeance, +then am I a gentleman of less sagacity, than myself and very few +besides, take me to be. And the jest will be still the better, if it be +true, as judicious persons have assured me, that one half of this money +will be real, and the other half only Gasconnade.[22] The matter will be +likewise much mended, if the merchants continue to carry off our gold, +and our goldsmiths to melt down our heavy silver. + + + + +AN ESSAY + +ON + +ENGLISH BUBBLES. + +BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The excitement and even fury which were prevalent in England and + France during the years 1719 and 1720 over Law's South Sea schemes + afforded Swift an opportunity for the play of his satire by way of + criticism on projects which appeared to him to be of the same + character. News from France on the Mississippi Scheme which, in + 1719, was at the height of its stock-jobbing success, gave glorious + accounts of fortunes made in a night, and of thousands who had + become rich and were living in unheard of luxury. Schemes were + floated on every possible kind of ventures, and so plentiful was + the "paper money" that nothing was too absurd for speculators. All + these schemes, which soon came to nought, went, later, by the name + of "Bubbles," and this essay of Swift's touches the matter with his + usual satire. + + The time chosen for the proposal for the establishment of a + National Bank in Ireland was not a happy one. It was made in 1720 + when the "Bubbles" had burst and found thousands ruined and + pauperized. Swift, always an enemy to schemes of any kind, classed + that of the bank with the rest of the "Bubbles," and, although the + plan itself was a real effort to relieve Ireland, and might have + effected its purpose, the terror of the "Bubbles" was sufficient to + wreck it. + + It required very little from Swift to insure its rejection, and + rejected it was by the Irish legislature, before whose + consideration it was brought. + + * * * * * + + Some doubt seems to obtain as to the authenticity of this "Essay on + English Bubbles," which, in the words of Sir Walter Scott, may "be + considered as introductory to the other" tracts on the Bank + Project. This essay, however, appears in the edition of 1720 of + "The Swearer's Bank," and, although it is not included in the + "Miscellanies" of 1722, it is accepted by Faulkner in his collected + edition of Swift's works. The present text is based on that + prefixed to the edition of "The Swearer's Bank," 1720. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN ESSAY ON ENGLISH BUBBLES. + +BY THOMAS HOPE, ESQ. + + To the Right Reverend, Right Honourable, and Right Worshipful, and + to the Reverend, Honourable, and Worshipful, &c. Company of + Stockjobbers; whether Honest or Dishonest, Pious or Impious, Wise + or Otherwise, Male or Female, Young or Old, One with another, who + have suffered Depredation by the late Bubbles: _Greeting_. + + +Having received the following scheme from Dublin, I give you the +earliest notice, how you may retrieve the DECUS ET TUTAMEN,[23] +which you have sacrificed by permits in bubbles. This project is founded +on a Parliamentary security, besides, the devil is in it, if it can +fail, since a dignitary of the Church[24] is at the head on't. Therefore +you, who have subscribed to the stocking insurance, and are out at the +heels, may soon appear tight about the legs. You, who encouraged the +hemp manufacture, may leave the halter to rogues, and prevent the odium +of _felo de se_. Medicinal virtues are here to be had without the +expense and hazard of a dispensary: You may sleep without dreaming of +bottles at your tail, and a looking-glass shall not affright you; and +since the glass bubble proved as brittle as its ware, and broke together +with itself the hopes of its proprietors, they may make themselves whole +by subscribing to our new fund. + +Here indeed may be made three very grave objections, by incredulous +interested priests, ambitious citizens, and scrupulous statesmen. The +stocking manufactory gentlemen don't know how swearing can bring 'em to +any probability of covering their legs anew, unless it be by the means +of a pair of stocks: That the hemp-snared men apprehend, that such an +encouragement for oaths can tend to no other advancement, promotion, and +exaltation of their persons, than that of the gallows: The late old +ordinary, Paul,[25] having grown grey in the habit of making this +accurate observation in every month's Session-Paper, "That swearing had +as great a hand in the suspension of every living soul under his cure, +as Sabbath-breaking itself;" and that the glass-bubble-men cannot, for +their lives, with the best pair of spectacles, that is the only thing +left neat and whole, out of all their wares, see how they shall make +anything out of this his oath-project, supposing he should even confirm +by one its goodness: An oath being, as they say, as brittle as glass, +and only made to be broken. + +But those incredulous priests shall not go without an answer, that will, +I am sure, induce them to place a great confidence in the benefit +arising from Christians, who damn themselves every hour of the day. For +while they speak of the vainness and fickleness of oaths, as an +objection against our project, they little consider that this fickleness +and vainness is the common practice among all the people of this +sublunary world; and that consequently, instead of being an objection +against the project, is a concluding argument of the constancy and +solidity of their sure gain by it; a never-failing argument, as he tells +us, among the brethren of his cloth. + +The ambitious citizens, who from being plunged deep in the wealthy +whirlpool of the South-Sea, are in hopes of rising to such seats of +fortune and dignity, as would best suit with their mounting and aspiring +hopes, may imagine that this new fund, in the sister nation, may prove a +rival to theirs; and, by drawing off a multitude of subscribers, will, +if it makes a flood in Ireland, cause an ebb in England. But it may be +answered, that, though our author avers, that this fund will vie with +the South-Sea, yet it will not clash with it. On the contrary, the +subscribers to this must wish the increase of the South-Sea, (so far +from being its rival); because the multitude of people raised by it, who +were plain-speakers, as they were plain-dealers before, must learn to +swear, in order to become their clothes, and to be gentlemen _a la +mode_; while those that are ruined, I mean Job'd by it, will dismiss the +patience of their old pattern, swear at their condition, and curse their +Maker in their distress; and so the increase of that English fund will +be demonstratively an ample augmentation of the Irish one: So far will +it be from being rivalled by it, so that each of them may subscribe to a +fund they have their own security for augmenting. + +The scrupulous statesmen (for we know that statesmen are usually very +scrupulous) may object against having this project secured by votes in +Parliament; by reason, as they may deem it, in their great wisdom, an +impious project; and that therefore so illustrious an assembly, as the +Irish parliament, ought, by no means, according to the opinion of a +Christian statesman, to be concerned in supporting an impious thing in +the world. The way that some may take to prove it impious, is, because +it will tend highly to the interest of swearing.--But this I take to be +plain downright sophistry, and playing upon words: If this be called the +Swearing project, or the Oath-act, the increase of swearing will be very +much for the benefit and interest of swearing, (_i.e._) to the +subscribers in the fund to be raised by this fruitful Swearing-act, if +it should be so called; but not to the swearers themselves, who are to +pay for it: So that it will be, according to this distinction, piously +indeed an act for a benefit to mankind, _from_ swearing, not +_impiously_, a benefit _in swearing_: So that I think that argument +entirely answered and defeated. Far be it from the Dean to have entered +into so unchristian a project, as this had been, so considered. But then +these politicians (being generally, as the world knows, mighty tender of +conscience) may raise these new doubts, fears, and scruples, _viz._ that +it will however cause the subscribers to wish, in their minds, for many +oaths to fly about, which is a heinous crime, and to lay stratagems to +try the patience of men of all sorts, to put them upon the swearing +strain, in order to bring grist to their own mill, which is a crime +still more enormous; and that therefore, for fear of these evil +consequences, the passing of such an act is not consistent with the +really extraordinary and tender conscience of a true modern politician. +But in answer to this, I think I can plead the strongest plea in nature, +and that is called precedent, I think; which I take thus from the +South-Sea: One man, by the very nature of that subscription, must +naturally pray for the temporal damnation of another man in his fortune, +in order for gaining his own salvation in it; yea, even though he knows +the other man's temporal damnation would be the cause of his eternal, by +his swearing and despairing. Neither do I think this in casuistry and +sin, because the swearing, undone man is a free agent, and can choose +whether he will swear or no, anybody's wishes whatsoever to the contrary +notwithstanding: And in politics I am sure it is even a Machiavellian +holy maxim, "That some men should be ruined for the good of others." +Thus I think I have answered all the objections that can be brought +against this project's coming to perfection, and proved it to be +convenient for the state, of interest to the Protestant church, and +consonant with Christianity, nay, with the very scruples of modern, +squeamish statesmen. + +To conclude: The laudable author of this project squares the measures of +it so much according to the scripture rule, it may reasonably be +presumed, that all good Christians in England will come as fast into the +subscriptions for his encouragement, as they have already done +throughout the kingdom of Ireland. For what greater proof could this +author give of his Christianity, than, for bringing about this +Swearing-act, charitably to part with his coat, and sit starving in a +very thin waistcoat in his garret, to do the corporal virtues of feeding +and clothing the poor, and raising them from the cottage to the palace, +by punishing the vices of the rich. What more could have been done even +in the primitive times! + + THOMAS HOPE. + + From my House in St. Faith's Parish, + London, August 10, 1720. + +P.S.--For the benefit of the author, application may be made to me at +the Tilt-Yard Coffee-house, Whitehall. + + + + +THE SWEARER'S BANK. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The plan for the establishment of a National Bank in Dublin was + first put forward in 1720 in the form of a petition presented to + the King by the Earl of Abercorn, Viscount Boyne, Sir Ralph Gore, + and others. It was proposed to raise a fund of L500,000 for the + purpose of loaning money to merchants at a comparatively low rate + of interest. The King approved of the petition, and directed that a + charter of incorporation for such a bank should pass the Great Seal + of Ireland. When the matter came up for discussion in the Irish + Houses of Legislature, both the Lords and Commons rejected the + proposal on the ground that no safe foundation for such an + establishment could be found. (See note _post_.) + + During and after the discussion on this project in the legislature + a pamphlet controversy arose in which two able writers + distinguished themselves--Mr. Henry Maxwell and Mr. Hercules + Rowley. The former was in favour of the bank while Mr. Rowley was + against it. + + Mr. Maxwell argued soundly from the ground on which all banking + institutions were founded. Mr. Rowley, however, pointed out that + the condition of Ireland, dependent as that country was on + England's whims, and interfered with as she always had been, by + English selfishness, in her commercial and industrial enterprises, + would not be bettered were the bank to prove even a great success. + For, should the bank be found in any way to touch the trade of + England, it might be taken for granted that its charter would be + repealed, and Ireland find itself in a worse state than it was + before. + + The pamphlets written by these gentlemen bear the following titles: + + (1) Reasons offer'd for erecting a Bank in Ireland; in a letter to + Hercules Rowley, Esq., by Henry Maxwell, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + (2) An Answer to a Book, intitled Reasons offered for erecting a + Bank in Ireland. In a Letter to Henry Maxwell, Esq. By Hercules + Rowley, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + (3) Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley, wherein the + objections against the Bank are answered. Dublin, 1721. + + (4) An answer to Mr. Maxwell's Second Letter to Mr. Rowley, + concerning the Bank. By Hercules Rowley, Esq. Dublin, 1721. + + * * * * * + + Sir Walter Scott, in his edition of Swift's works, reprints these + pamphlets. The text of the present edition of "The Swearer's Bank" + is based on that published in London in 1720. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +_Swearer's_-Bank: + +OR, + +Parliamentary Security + +FOR + +Establishing a new BANK + +IN + +_IRELAND_. + +WHEREIN + +The Medicinal Use of OATHS is considered. + +(WITH + +The _Best in Christendom_. A TALE.) + + * * * * * + +_Written by Dean_ SWIFT. + + * * * * * + +_Si Populus vult decipi decipiatur._ + + * * * * * + +To which is prefixed, + +An ESSAY upon _English_ BUBBLES. + +_By_ THOMAS HOPE, _Esq_; + + * * * * * + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by THOMAS HUME, next Door to the _Walsh's-Head_ in +_Smock-Alley_. 1720. Reprinted at _London_ by J. ROBERTS in +_Warwick-Lane_. + + + + +THE SWEARER'S BANK. + + +"To believe everything that is said by a certain set of men, and to +doubt of nothing they relate, though ever so improbable," is a maxim +that has contributed as much for the time, to the support of Irish +banks, as it ever did to the Popish religion; and they are not only +beholden to the latter for their foundation, but they have the happiness +to have the same patron saint: For Ignorance, the reputed mother of the +devotion of the one, seems to bear the same affectionate relation to the +credit of the other. + +To subscribe to banks, without knowing the scheme or design of them, is +not unlike to some gentlemen's signing addresses without knowing the +contents of them: To engage in a bank that has neither act of +parliament, charter, nor lands to support it, is like sending a ship to +sea without bottom; to expect a coach and six by the former, would be as +ridiculous as to hope a return by the latter. + +It was well known some time ago, that our banks would be included in the +bubble-bill; and it was believed those chimeras would necessarily vanish +with the first easterly wind that should inform the town of the royal +assent. + +It was very mortifying to several gentlemen, who dreamed of nothing but +easy chariots, on the arrival of the fatal packet, to slip out of them +into their walking shoes. But should those banks, as it is vainly +imagined, be so fortunate as to obtain a charter, and purchase lands; +yet on any run on them in a time of invasion, there would be so many +starving proprietors, reviving their old pretensions to land, and a +bellyful, that the subscribers would be unwilling, upon any call, to +part with their money, not knowing what might happen: So that in a +rebellion, where the success was doubtful, the bank would infallibly +break.[26] + +Since so many gentlemen of this town have had the courage, without any +security, to appear in the same paper with a million or two; it is +hoped, when they are made sensible of their safety, that they will be +prevailed to trust themselves in a neat skin of parchment with a single +one. + +To encourage them, the undertaker proposes the erecting a bank on +parliamentary security, and such security as no revolution or change of +times can affect. + +To take away all jealousy of any private view of the undertaker, he +assures the world, that he is now in a garret, in a very thin waistcoat, +studying the public good, having given an undeniable pledge of his love +to his country, by pawning his coat, in order to defray the expense of +the press. + +It is very well known, that by an act of parliament to prevent profane +swearing, the person so offending, on oath made before a magistrate, +forfeits a shilling, which may be levied with little difficulty. + +It is almost unnecessary to mention, that this is become a pet-vice +among us; and though age renders us unfit for other vices, yet this, +where it takes hold, never leaves us but with our speech. + +So vast a revenue might be raised by the execution of this act, that I +have often wondered, in such a scarcity of funds, that methods have not +been taken to make it serviceable to the public. + +I dare venture to say, if this act was well executed in England, the +revenue of it applied to the navy, would make the English fleet a terror +to all Europe. + +It is computed by geographers, that there are two millions in this +kingdom, (of Ireland) of which number there may be said to be a million +of swearing souls. + +It is thought there may be five thousand gentlemen; every gentleman, +taking one with another, may afford to swear an oath every day, which +will yearly produce one million, eight hundred, twenty-five thousand +oaths, which number of shillings makes the yearly sum of ninety-one +thousand, two hundred and fifty pounds. + +The farmers of this kingdom, who are computed to be ten thousand, are +able to spend yearly five hundred thousand oaths, which gives +twenty-five thousand pounds; and it is conjectured, that from the bulk +of the people twenty, or five-and-twenty thousand pounds may be yearly +collected. + +These computations are very modest, since it is evident that there is a +much greater consumption of oaths in this kingdom, and consequently a +much greater sum might be yearly raised. + +That it may be collected with ease and regularity, it is proposed to +settle informers in great towns in proportion to the number of +inhabitants, and to have riding-officers in the country; and since +nothing brings a greater contempt on any profession than poverty, it is +determined to settle very handsome salaries on the gentlemen that are +employed by the bank, that they may, by a generosity of living, +reconcile men to an office, that has lain under so much scandal of late, +as to be undertaken by none but curates, clerks of meeting-houses, and +broken tradesmen. + +It is resolved, that none shall be preferred to those employments, but +persons that are notorious for being constant churchmen, and frequent +communicants; whose piety will be a sufficient security for their honest +and industrious execution of their office. + +It is very probable, that twenty thousand pounds will be necessary to +defray all expenses of servants salaries, &c. However, there will be the +clear yearly sum of one hundred thousand pounds, which may very justly +claim a million subscription. + +It is determined to lay out the remaining unapplied profits, which will +be very considerable, towards the erecting and maintaining charity +schools; a design so beneficial to the public, and especially to the +Protestant interest of this kingdom, has met with so much encouragement +from several great patriots in England, that they have engaged to +procure an act to secure the sole benefit of informing, on this swearing +act, to the agents and servants of this new bank. Several of my friends +pretend to demonstrate, that this bank will in time vie with the South +Sea Company: They insist, that the army dispend as many oaths yearly as +will produce one hundred thousand pounds _net_. + +There are computed to be one hundred pretty fellows in this town, that +swear fifty oaths a head daily; some of them would think it hard to be +stinted to an hundred: This very branch would produce a vast sum yearly. + +The fairs of this kingdom will bring in a vast revenue; the oaths of a +little Connaught one, as well as they could be numbered by two persons, +amounted to three thousand. It is true, that it would be impossible to +turn all of them into ready money; for a shilling is so great a duty on +swearing, that if it was carefully exacted, the common people might as +well pretend to drink wine as to swear; and an oath would be as rare +among them as a clean shirt. + +A servant that I employed to accompany the militia their last muster +day, had scored down in the compass of eight hours, three hundred oaths, +but as the putting the act in execution on those days, would only fill +the stocks with porters, and pawn-shops with muskets and swords: And as +it would be matter of great joy to Papists, and disaffected persons, to +see our militia swear themselves out of their guns and swords, it is +resolved, that no advantage shall be taken of any militiaman's swearing +while he is under arms; nor shall any advantage be taken of any man's +swearing in the Four Courts provided he is at hearing in the exchequer, +or has just paid off an attorney's bill. + +The medicinal use of oaths is what the undertaker would by no means +discourage, especially where it is necessary to help the lungs to throw +off any distilling humour. On certificate of a course of swearing +prescribed by any physician, a permit will be given to the patient by +the proper officer of the bank, paying no more but sixpence. It is +expected, that a scheme of so much advantage to the public will meet +with more encouragement than their chimerical banks; and the undertaker +hopes, that as he has spent a considerable fortune in bringing this +scheme to bear, he may have the satisfaction to see it take place, for +the public good, though he should have the fate of most projectors, to +be undone. + +It is resolved, that no compositions shall be made, nor licences granted +for swearing, under a notion of applying the money to pious uses; a +practice so scandalous as is fit only for the see of Rome, where the +money arising from whoring licences is applied _ad propagandam fidem_: +And to the shame of Smock-alley, and of all Protestant whores, +(especially those who live under the light of the Gospel-ministry) be it +spoken, a whore in Rome never lies down, but she hopes it will be the +means of converting some poor heathen, or heretic. + +The swearing revenues of the town of Cork will be given for ever, by the +bank, to the support of poor clergymen's widows; and those of Ringsend +will be allowed to the maintenance of sailors' bastards. + +The undertaker designs, in a few days, to appoint time and place for +taking subscriptions; the subscribers must come prepared to pay down one +fourth, on subscribing. + + +POSTSCRIPT. + +The Jews of Rotterdam have offered to farm the revenues of Dublin at +twenty thousand pounds _per ann._ Several eminent Quakers are also +willing to take them at that rent; but the undertaker has rejected their +proposals, being resolved to deal with none but Christians. + +Application may be made to him about them, any day at Pat's +coffee-house, where attendance will be given. + + + + +A LETTER + +TO THE + +KING AT ARMS. + +[FROM A REPUTED ESQUIRE,[27] ONE OF THE SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK.] + + + + +_November 18, 1721._ + +SIR, + +In a late printed paper,[28] containing some notes and queries upon that +list of the subscribers' names, which was published by order of the +commissioners for receiving of subscriptions, I find some hints and +innuendoes that would seem to insinuate, as if I and some others were +only _reputed_ esquires; and our case is referred to you, in your kingly +capacity. I desire you will please to let me know the lowest price of a +real esquire's coat of arms: And, if we can agree, I will give my bond +to pay you out of the first interest I receive for my subscription; +because things are a little low with me at present, by throwing my +whole fortune into the bank, having subscribed for five hundred pounds +sterling. + +I hope you will not question my pretensions to this title, when I let +you know that my godfather was a justice of peace, and I myself have +been often a keeper of it. My father was a leader and commander of +horse, in which post he rode before the greatest lords of the land;[29] +and, in long marches, he alone presided over the baggage, advancing +directly before it. My mother kept open house in Dublin, where several +hundreds were supported with meat and drink, bought at her own charge, +or with her personal credit, until some envious brewers and butchers +forced her to retire.[30] + +As to myself, I have been, for several years, a foot-officer; and it was +my charge to guard the carriages, behind which I was commanded to stick +close, that they might not be attacked in the rear. I have had the +honour to be a favourite of several fine ladies; who, each of them at +different times, gave me such coloured knots and public marks of +distinction, that every one knew which of them it was to whom I paid my +address. They would not go into their coach without me, nor willingly +drink unless I gave them the glass with my own hand. They allowed me to +call them my mistresses, and owned that title publicly. I have been +told, that the true ancient employment of a squire was to carry a +knight's shield, painted with his colours and coat of arms. This is what +I have witnesses to produce that I have often done; not indeed in a +shield, like my predecessors, but that which is full as good, I have +carried the colours of a knight upon my coat.[31] I have likewise borne +the king's arms in my hand, as a mark of authority;[32] and hung them +painted before my dwelling-house, as a mark of my calling:[33] So that I +may truly say, His Majesty's arms have been my supporters. I have been a +strict and constant follower of men of quality, I have diligently +pursued the steps of several squires, and am able to behave myself as +well as the best of them, whenever there shall be occasion. + +I desire it may be no disadvantage to me, that, by the new act of +parliament going to pass for preserving the game, I am not yet qualified +to keep a greyhound. If this should be the test of squirehood, it will +go hard with a great number of my fraternity, as well as myself, who +must all be unsquired, because a greyhound will not be allowed to keep +us company; and it is well known I have been a companion to his betters. +What has a greyhound to do with a squireship? Might I not be a real +squire, although there was no such thing as a greyhound in the world? +Pray tell me, sir, are greyhounds to be from henceforth the supporters +of every squire's coat of arms? Although I cannot keep a greyhound, may +not a greyhound help to keep me? May not I have an order from the +governors of the bank to keep a greyhound, with a _non obstante_ to the +act of parliament, as well as they have created a bank against the votes +of the two Houses? But, however, this difficulty will soon be overcome. +I am promised _125l._ a year for subscribing _500l._; and, of this +_500l._ I am to pay in only _25l._ ready money: The governors will trust +me for the rest, and pay themselves out of the interest by _25l._ _per +cent._ So that I intend to receive only _40l._ a-year, to qualify me for +keeping my family and a greyhound, and let the remaining _85l._ go on +till it makes _500l._ then _1000l._ then _10,000l._ then _100,000l._ +then a million, and so forwards. This, I think, is much better (betwixt +you and me) than keeping fairs, and buying and selling bullocks; by +which I find, from experience, that little is to be gotten, in these +hard times. I am, + + SIR, + Your friend, and + Servant to command, + A. B. ESQUIRE. + +_Postscript_. I hope you will favourably represent my case to the +publisher of the paper above-mentioned. + +Direct your letter for A. B. Esquire, at ---- in ----; and, pray, get some +parliament-man to frank it, for it will cost a groat postage to this +place. + + + + +THE + +LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS + +OF + +EBENEZER ELLISTON. + +WHO WAS EXECUTED THE SECOND DAY OF MAY, 1722. + +_Published at his desire, for the common good._ + + + _N. B. About the time that this speech was written, the Town was + much pestered with street-robbers; who, in a barbarous manner would + seize on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners, and after + they had robbed them, would leave them bound and gagged. It is + remarkable, that this speech had so good an effect, that there have + been very few robberies of that kind committed since._[34] + + + + + NOTE. + + + Burke spoke of Swift's tracts of a public nature, relating to + Ireland, as "those in which the Dean appears in the best light, + because they do honour to his heart as well as his head; furnishing + some additional proofs that, though he was very free in his abuse + of the inhabitants of that country, as well natives as foreigners, + he had their interest sincerely at heart, and perfectly understood + it." + + The following tract on "The Last Words and Dying Speech of Ebenezer + Elliston" admirably illustrates Burke's remark. + + The city of Dublin, at the time Swift wrote, was on a par with some + of the lower districts of New York City about twenty years ago, + which were dangerous in the extreme to traverse after dark. Robbers + in gangs would waylay pedestrians and leave them often badly + maltreated and maimed. These thieves and "roughs" became so + impudent and brazen in their business that the condition of the + city was a disgrace to the municipal government. To put down the + nuisance Swift took a characteristic method. Ebenezer Elliston had, + about this time, been executed for street robbery. Although given a + good education by his parents, he forsook his trade of a silk + weaver, and became a gambler and burglar. He was well known to the + other gangs which infested Dublin, but his death did not act as a + deterrent. Swift, in composing Elliston's pretended dying speech, + gave it the flavour and character of authenticity in order to + impose on the members of other gangs, and so successful was he in + his intention, that the speech was accepted as the real expression + of their late companion by the rest and had a most salutary effect. + Scott says it was "received as genuine by the banditti who had been + companions of his depredations, who were the more easily persuaded + of its authenticity as it contained none of the cant usual in the + dying speeches composed for malefactors by the Ordinary or the + ballad-makers. The threat which it held out of a list deposited + with a secure hand, containing their names, crimes, and place of + rendezvous, operated for a long time in preventing a repetition of + their villanies, which had previously been so common." + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that given by Faulkner + in the fourth volume of his edition of Swift printed in Dublin in + 1735. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON. + + +I am now going to suffer the just punishment for my crimes prescribed by +the law of God and my country. I know it is the constant custom, that +those who come to this place should have speeches made for them, and +cried about in their own hearing, as they are carried to execution; and +truly they are such speeches that although our fraternity be an ignorant +illiterate people, they would make a man ashamed to have such nonsense +and false English charged upon him even when he is going to the gallows: +They contain a pretended account of our birth and family; of the fact +for which we are to die; of our sincere repentance; and a declaration of +our religion.[35] I cannot expect to avoid the same treatment with my +predecessors. However, having had an education one or two degrees better +than those of my rank and profession;[36] I have been considering ever +since my commitment, what it might be proper for me to deliver upon this +occasion. + +And first, I cannot say from the bottom of my heart, that I am truly +sorry for the offence I have given to God and the world; but I am very +much so, for the bad success of my villainies in bringing me to this +untimely end. For it is plainly evident, that after having some time ago +obtained a pardon from the crown, I again took up my old trade; my evil +habits were so rooted in me, and I was grown so unfit for any other +kind of employment. And therefore although in compliance with my +friends, I resolve to go to the gallows after the usual manner, +kneeling, with a book in my hand, and my eyes lift up; yet I shall feel +no more devotion in my heart than I have observed in some of my +comrades, who have been drunk among common whores the very night before +their execution. I can say further from my own knowledge, that two of my +fraternity after they had been hanged, and wonderfully came to life, and +made their escapes, as it sometimes happens, proved afterwards the +wickedest rogues I ever knew, and so continued until they were hanged +again for good and all; and yet they had the impudence at both times +they went to the gallows, to smite their breasts, and lift up their eyes +to Heaven all the way. + +Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my own wicked dispositions and +that of my comrades, I give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more +unfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the government in ever +pardoning or transporting us; unless when we betray one another, as we +never fail to do, if we are sure to be well paid; and then a pardon may +do good; by the same rule, "That it is better to have but one fox in a +farm than three or four." But we generally make a shift to return after +being transported, and are ten times greater rogues than before, and +much more cunning. Besides, I know it by experience, that some hopes we +have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after we are condemned, is +always a great encouragement to us. + +Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle young fellows, than the +company of those odious common whores we frequent, and of which this +town is full: These wretches put us upon all mischief to feed their +lusts and extravagancies: They are ten times more bloody and cruel than +men; their advice is always not to spare if we are pursued; they get +drunk with us, and are common to us all; and yet, if they can get +anything by it, are sure to be our betrayers. + +Now, as I am a dying man, I have done something which may be of good use +to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only +honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked +brethren, the present places of their abode, with a short account of the +chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their +accomplice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise +set down the names of those we call our setters, of the wicked houses we +frequent, and of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have +solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon +oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbing, or +house-breaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name +there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the government. +Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they +will take it. + +In the paper above mentioned, which I left with my friend, I have also +set down the names of several gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin +streets for three years past: I have told the circumstances of those +robberies; and shewn plainly that nothing but the want of common courage +was the cause of their misfortunes. I have therefore desired my friend, +that whenever any gentlemen happens to be robbed in the streets, he will +get that relation printed and published with the first letters of those +gentlemen's names, who by their own want of bravery are likely to be the +cause of all the mischief of that kind, which may happen for the future. + +I cannot leave the world without a short description of that kind of +life, which I have led for some years past; and is exactly the same with +the rest of our wicked brethren. + +Although we are generally so corrupted from our childhood, as to have no +sense of goodness; yet something heavy always hangs about us, I know not +what it is, that we are never easy till we are half drunk among our +whores and companions; nor sleep sound, unless we drink longer than we +can stand. If we go abroad in the day, a wise man would easily find us +to be rogues by our faces; we have such a suspicious, fearful, and +constrained countenance; often turning back, and slinking through narrow +lanes and alleys. I have never failed of knowing a brother thief by his +looks, though I never saw him before. Every man among us keeps his +particular whore, who is however common to us all, when we have a mind +to change. When we have got a booty, if it be in money, we divide it +equally among our companions, and soon squander it away on our vices in +those houses that receive us; for the master and mistress, and the very +tapster, go snacks; and besides make us pay treble reckonings. If our +plunder be plate, watches, rings, snuff-boxes, and the like; we have +customers in all quarters of the town to take them off. I have seen a +tankard worth fifteen pounds sold to a fellow in ---- street for twenty +shillings; and a gold watch for thirty. I have set down his name, and +that of several others in the paper already mentioned. We have setters +watching in corners, and by dead walls, to give us notice when a +gentleman goes by; especially if he be anything in drink. I believe in +my conscience, that if an account were made of a thousand pounds in +stolen goods; considering the low rates we sell them at, the bribes we +must give for concealment, the extortions of alehouse-reckonings, and +other necessary charges, there would not remain fifty pounds clear to be +divided among the robbers. And out of this we must find clothes for our +whores, besides treating them from morning to night; who, in requital, +reward us with nothing but treachery and the pox. For when our money is +gone, they are every moment threatening to inform against us, if we will +not go out to look for more. If anything in this world be like hell, as +I have heard it described by our clergy; the truest picture of it must +be in the back-room of one of our ale-houses at midnight; where a crew of +robbers and their whores are met together after a booty, and are +beginning to grow drunk, from which time, until they are past their +senses, is such a continued horrible noise of cursing, blasphemy, +lewdness, scurrility, and brutish behaviour; such roaring and confusion, +such a clatter of mugs and pots at each other's heads, that Bedlam, in +comparison, is a sober and orderly place: At last they all tumble from +their stools and benches, and sleep away the rest of the night; and +generally the landlord or his wife, or some other whore who has a +stronger head than the rest, picks their pockets before they wake. The +misfortune is, that we can never be easy till we are drunk; and our +drunkenness constantly exposes us to be more easily betrayed and taken. + +This is a short picture of the life I have led; which is more miserable +than that of the poorest labourer who works for four pence a day; and +yet custom is so strong, that I am confident, if I could make my escape +at the foot of the gallows, I should be following the same course this +very evening. So that upon the whole, we ought to be looked upon as the +common enemies of mankind; whose interest it is to root us out likes +wolves, and other mischievous vermin, against which no fair play is +required. + +If I have done service to men in what I have said, I shall hope I have +done service to God; and that will be better than a silly speech made +for me full of whining and canting, which I utterly despise, and have +never been used to; yet such a one I expect to have my ears tormented +with, as I am passing along the streets. + +Good people fare ye well; bad as I am, I leave many worse behind me. I +hope you shall see me die like a man, the death of a dog. + E. E. + + + + +THE TRUTH + +OF SOME + +MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT, + +EXAMINED + +WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND. + + + + + NOTE. + + + These maxims, written in the year 1724, may be taken as Swift's + opening of his campaign against the oppressive legislation of + England which had brought Ireland to the degraded and + poverty-stricken condition it existed in at the time he wrote. + Burke characterizes these maxims as "a collection of State + Paradoxes, abounding with great sense and penetration." The + subjects they touch on are dealt with in greater detail in the + tracts which follow in this volume, and the reader is referred to + them and the notes for the causes which had brought Ireland in so + low a state. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that given by Deane + Swift in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + +MAXIMS CONTROLLED[37] IN IRELAND. + + +There are certain maxims of state, founded upon long observation and +experience, drawn from the constant practice of the wisest nations, and +from the very principles of government, nor ever controlled by any +writer upon politics. Yet all these maxims do necessarily presuppose a +kingdom, or commonwealth, to have the same natural rights common to the +rest of mankind, who have entered into civil society; for if we could +conceive a nation where each of the inhabitants had but one eye, one +leg, and one hand, it is plain that, before you could institute them +into a republic, an allowance must be made for those material defects +wherein they differed from other mortals. Or, imagine a legislator +forming a system for the government of Bedlam, and, proceeding upon the +maxim that man is a sociable animal, should draw them out of their +cells, and form them into corporations or general assemblies; the +consequence might probably be, that they would fall foul on each other, +or burn the house over their own heads. + +Of the like nature are innumerable errors committed by crude and short +thinkers, who reason upon general topics, without the least allowance +for the most important circumstances, which quite alter the nature of +the case. + +This hath been the fate of those small dealers, who are every day +publishing their thoughts, either on paper or in their assemblies, for +improving the trade of Ireland, and referring us to the practice and +example of England, Holland, France, or other nations. + +I shall, therefore, examine certain maxims of government, which +generally pass for uncontrolled in the world, and consider how far they +will suit with the present condition of this kingdom. + +First, It is affirmed by wise men, that "The dearness of things +necessary for life, in a fruitful country, is a certain sign of wealth +and great commerce;" for when such necessaries are dear, it must +absolutely follow that money is cheap and plentiful. + +But this is manifestly false in Ireland, for the following reason. Some +years ago, the species of money here did probably amount to six or seven +hundred thousand pounds;[38] and I have good cause to believe, that our +remittances then did not much exceed the cash brought in to us. But, the +prodigious discouragements we have since received in every branch of our +trade, by the frequent enforcements and rigorous execution of the +navigation-act,[39] the tyranny of under custom-house officers, the +yearly addition of absentees, the payments to regiments abroad, to civil +and military officers residing in England, the unexpected sudden demands +of great sums from the treasury, and some other drains of perhaps as +great consequence,[40] we now see ourselves reduced to a state (since we +have no friends) of being pitied by our enemies; at least, if our +enemies were of such a kind, as to be capable of any regard towards us +except of hatred and contempt. + +Forty years are now passed since the Revolution, when the contention of +the British Empire was, most unfortunately for us, and altogether +against the usual course of such mighty changes in government, decided +in the least important nation; but with such ravages and ruin executed +on both sides, as to leave the kingdom a desert, which in some sort it +still continues. Neither did the long rebellions in 1641, make half such +a destruction of houses, plantations, and personal wealth, in both +kingdoms, as two years campaigns did in ours, by fighting England's +battles. + +By slow degrees, and by the gentle treatment we received under two +auspicious reigns,[41] we grew able to live without running in debt. Our +absentees were but few: we had great indulgence in trade, a considerable +share in employments of church and state; and while the short leases +continued, which were let some years after the war ended, tenants paid +their rents with ease and cheerfulness, to the great regret of their +landlords, who had taken up a spirit of oppression that is not easily +removed. And although, in these short leases, the rent was gradually to +increase after short periods, yet, as soon as the terms elapsed, the +land was let to the highest bidder, most commonly without the least +effectual clause for building or planting. Yet, by many advantages, +which this island then possessed, and hath since utterly lost, the rents +of lands still grew higher upon every lease that expired, till they have +arrived at the present exorbitance; when the frog, over-swelling +himself, burst at last. + +With the price of land of necessity rose that of corn and cattle, and +all other commodities that farmers deal in: hence likewise, obviously, +the rates of all goods and manufactures among shopkeepers, the wages of +servants, and hire of labourers. But although our miseries came on fast, +with neither trade nor money left; yet neither will the landlord abate +in his rent, nor can the tenant abate in the price of what that rent +must be paid with, nor any shopkeeper, tradesman, or labourer live, at +lower expense for food and clothing, than he did before. + +I have been the larger upon this first head, because the same +observations will clear up and strengthen a good deal of what I shall +affirm upon the rest. + +The second maxim of those who reason upon trade and government, is, to +assert that "Low interest is a certain sign of great plenty of money in +a nation," for which, as in many other articles, they produce the +examples of Holland and England. But, with relation to Ireland, this +maxim is likewise entirely false. + +There are two reasons for the lowness of interest in any country. First, +that which is usually alleged, the great plenty of species; and this is +obvious. The second is, the want of trade, which seldom falls under +common observation, although it be equally true: for, where trade is +altogether discouraged, there are few borrowers. In those countries +where men can employ a large stock, the young merchant, whose fortune +may be four or five hundred pounds, will venture to borrow as much more, +and can afford a reasonable interest. Neither is it easy, at this day, +to find many of those, whose business reaches to employ even so +inconsiderable a sum, except among the importers of wine, who, as they +have most part of the present trade in these parts of Ireland in their +hands, so they are the most exorbitant, exacting, fraudulent dealers, +that ever trafficked in any nation, and are making all possible speed to +ruin both themselves and the nation. + +From this defect of gentlemen's not knowing how to dispose of their +ready money, ariseth the high purchase of lands, which in all other +countries is reckoned a sign of wealth. For, the frugal squires, who +live below their incomes, have no other way to dispose of their savings +but by mortgage or purchase, by which the rates of land must naturally +increase; and if this trade continues long, under the uncertainty of +rents, the landed men of ready money will find it more for their +advantage to send their cash to England, and place it in the funds; +which I myself am determined to do, the first considerable sum I shall +be master of. + +It hath likewise been a maxim among politicians, "That the great +increase of buildings in the metropolis, argues a flourishing state." +But this, I confess, hath been controlled from the example of London; +where, by the long and annual parliamentary session, such a number of +senators, with their families, friends, adherents, and expectants, draw +such prodigious numbers to that city, that the old hospitable custom of +lords and gentlemen living in their ancient seats among their tenants, +is almost lost in England; is laughed out of doors; insomuch that, in +the middle of summer, a legal House of Lords and Commons might be +brought in a few hours to London, from their country villas within +twelve miles round. + +The case in Ireland is yet somewhat worse: For the absentees of great +estates, who, if they lived at home, would have many rich retainers in +their neighbourhoods, have learned to rack their lands, and shorten +their leases, as much as any residing squire; and the few remaining of +these latter, having some vain hope of employments for themselves, or +their children, and discouraged by the beggarliness and thievery of +their own miserable farmers and cottagers, or seduced by the vanity of +their wives, on pretence of their children's education (whereof the +fruits are so apparent,) together with that most wonderful, and yet more +unaccountable zeal, for a seat in their assembly, though at some years' +purchase of their whole estates: these, and some other motives better +let pass, have drawn such a concourse to this beggarly city, that the +dealers of the several branches of building have found out all the +commodious and inviting places for erecting new houses; while fifteen +hundred of the old ones, which is a seventh part of the whole city, are +said to be left uninhabited, and falling to ruin. Their method is the +same with that which was first introduced by Dr. Barebone at London, who +died a bankrupt.[42] The mason, the bricklayer, the carpenter, the +slater, and the glazier, take a lot of ground, club to build one or more +houses, unite their credit, their stock, and their money; and when their +work is finished, sell it to the best advantage they can. But, as it +often happens, and more every day, that their fund will not answer half +their design, they are forced to undersell it at the first story, and +are all reduced to beggary. Insomuch, that I know a certain fanatic +brewer, who is reported to have some hundreds of houses in this town, is +said to have purchased the greater part of them at half value from +ruined undertakers; hath intelligence of all new houses where the +finishing is at a stand, takes advantage of the builder's distress, and, +by the advantage of ready money, gets fifty _per cent._ at least for his +bargain. + +It is another undisputed maxim in government, "That people are the +riches of a nation;" which is so universally granted, that it will be +hardly pardonable to bring it in doubt. And I will grant it to be so far +true, even in this island, that if we had the African custom, or +privilege, of selling our useless bodies for slaves to foreigners, it +would be the most useful branch of our trade, by ridding us of a most +unsupportable burthen, and bringing us money in the stead. But, in our +present situation, at least five children in six who are born, lie a +dead weight upon us, for want of employment. And a very skilful computer +assured me, that above one half of the souls in this kingdom supported +themselves by begging and thievery; whereof two thirds would be able to +get their bread in any other country upon earth.[43] Trade is the only +incitement to labour; where that fails, the poorer native must either +beg, steal, or starve, or be forced to quit his country. This hath made +me often wish, for some years past, that instead of discouraging our +people from seeking foreign soil, the public would rather pay for +transporting all our unnecessary mortals, whether Papists or +Protestants, to America; as drawbacks are sometimes allowed for +exporting commodities, where a nation is overstocked. I confess myself +to be touched with a very sensible pleasure, when I hear of a mortality +in any country parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay +for a filthy cabin, and two ridges of potatoes, treble the worth; +brought up to steal or beg, for want of work; to whom death would be the +best thing to be wished for on account both of themselves and the +public.[44] + +Among all taxes imposed by the legislature, those upon luxury are +universally allowed to be the most equitable, and beneficial to the +subject; and the commonest reasoner on government might fill a volume +with arguments on the subject. Yet here again, by the singular fate of +Ireland, this maxim is utterly false; and the putting it in practice may +have such pernicious a consequence, as, I certainly believe, the +thoughts of the proposers were not able to reach. + +The miseries we suffer by our absentees, are of a far more extensive +nature than seems to be commonly understood. I must vindicate myself to +the reader so far, as to declare solemnly, that what I shall say of +those lords and squires, doth not arise from the least regard I have for +their understandings, their virtues, or their persons: for, although I +have not the honour of the least acquaintance with any one among them, +(my ambition not soaring so high) yet I am too good a witness of the +situation they have been in for thirty years past; the veneration paid +them by the people, the high esteem they are in among the prime nobility +and gentry, the particular marks of favour and distinction they receive +from the Court; the weight and consequence of their interest, added to +their great zeal and application for preventing any hardships their +country might suffer from England, wisely considering that their own +fortunes and honours were embarked in the same bottom. + + + + +THE + +BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, + +AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA. + +PROPOSED TO CONTAIN ONE AND TWENTY VOLUMES IN QUARTO + +_Begun April 20, 1724. To be continued Weekly, if due Encouragement be +given._ + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift's friends in Ireland were not many. He had no high opinion of + the people with whom he was compelled to live. But among those who + displeased him least, to use the phrase he employed in writing to + Pope, was a kindly and warm-hearted scholar named Sheridan. + Sheridan must have taken Swift's fancy, since they spent much time + together and wrote each other verses and nonsense rhymes. He had + failed in his attempt to keep up a school in Dublin, and refused + the headmastership of the school of Armagh which Lord Primate + Lindsay had offered him, through Swift's efforts. Swift however + obtained for him, from Carteret, one of the chaplaincies of the + Lord-Lieutenant and a small living near Cork. Unfortunately + Sheridan was struck off from the list of chaplains on the + information of one Richard Tighe who reported that Sheridan, on the + anniversary of the accession of the House of Hanover, had preached + from the text "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Poor + Sheridan had been totally unconscious of committing any + indiscretion, but he could not deny the fact. + + It was at Quilca, a small county village, near Kells, that Sheridan + was accustomed to spend his vacations with his family at a small + house he owned there. Swift used often to use this house, at + Sheridan's desire, and spent many days there in quiet enjoyment + with Mrs. Dingley and Esther Johnson. The place and his life there + he has attempted to describe in the following piece; but the + description may also stand, as Scott observes, as "no bad + supplement to Swift's account of Ireland." + + * * * * * + + The text here given is based on that printed in the eighth volume + of the Edinburgh edition of 1761. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, + +AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.[45] + + +But one lock and a half in the whole house. + +The key of the garden door lost. + +The empty bottles all uncleanable. + +The vessels for drink few and leaky. + +The new house all going to ruin before it is finished. + +One hinge of the street door broke off, and the people forced to go out +and come in at the back-door. + +The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks. + +The beaufet letting in so much wind that it almost blows out the +candles. + +The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him. + +The little table loose and broken in the joints. + +The passages open over head, by which the cats pass continually into the +cellar, and eat the victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and +executed by the sword. + +The large table in a very tottering condition. + +But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that in a very ill +state of health. + +The kitchen perpetually crowded with savages. + +Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country. + +Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the servants, till supplied +from Kells. + +An egregious want of all the most common necessary utensils. + +Not a bit of turf in this cold weather; and Mrs. Johnson[46] and the +Dean in person, with all their servants, forced to assist at the bog, in +gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps. + +The grate in the ladies' bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by +which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking +intolerably; and the Dean's great-coat was employed to stop the wind +from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have +been starved to death. + +A messenger sent a mile to borrow an old broken tun-dish. + +Bottles stopped with bits of wood and tow, instead of corks. + +Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels +through the house, and is likewise employed to take the meat out of the +pot, for want of a flesh-fork. + +Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink, and every comer +and goer as arrant a thief of everything he or she can lay their hands +on. + +The spit blunted with poking into bogs for timber, and tears the meat to +pieces. + +_Bellum atque foeminam_: or, A kitchen war between nurse and a nasty +crew of both sexes; she to preserve order and cleanliness, they to +destroy both; and they generally are conquerors. + +_April_ 28. This morning the great fore-door quite open, dancing +backwards and forwards with all its weight upon the lower hinge, which +must have been broken if the Dean had not accidentally come and relieved +it. + +A great hole in the floor of the ladies' chamber, every hour hazarding a +broken leg. + +Two damnable iron spikes erect on the Dean's bedstead, by which he is in +danger of a broken shin at rising and going to bed. + +The ladies' and Dean's servants growing fast into the manners and +thieveries of the natives; the ladies themselves very much corrupted; +the Dean perpetually storming, and in danger of either losing all his +flesh, or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace. + +Mrs. Dingley[47] full of cares for herself, and blunders and negligence +for her friends. Mrs. Johnson sick and helpless. The Dean deaf and +fretting; the lady's maid awkward and clumsy; Robert lazy and forgetful; +William a pragmatical, ignorant, and conceited puppy; Robin and nurse +the two great and only supports of the family. + +_Bellum lacteum_: or, The milky battle, fought between the Dean and the +crew of Quilca; the latter insisting on their privilege of not milking +till eleven in the forenoon; whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight +for her health. In this battle the Dean got the victory; but the crew of +Quilca begin to rebel again; for it is this day almost ten o'clock, and +Mrs. Johnson hath not got her milk. + +A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants: "The worse their +sty--the longer they lie."[48] + +Two great holes in the wall of the ladies' bed-chamber, just at the back +of the bed, and one of them directly behind Mrs. Johnson's pillow, +either of which would blow out a candle in the calmest day. + + + + +A + +Short VIEW + +OF THE + +STATE + +OF + +IRELAND. + + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by _S. HARDING_, next Door to the _Crown_ in _Copper-Alley_, +1727-8. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This tract, written and published towards the end of the year 1728, + summarizes the disadvantages under which Ireland suffered at the + time, and re-enforces the contention that these were mainly due to + England's jealousy and stupid indifference. Swift, however, does + not lose sight of the fact that the people of Ireland also were + somewhat to blame, though in a much less degree. + + In Dublin, where tracts of this nature had now become almost + commonplace and where official interference in their publication + had been found unwise and even dangerous, the issue of the "Short + View" was effected without any official comment. In England, + however, where it was reprinted by Mist the journalist, it was + otherwise. Its publication brought down a prosecution on Mist, who, + no doubt, numbered this with the many others which were visited + upon him. It is an important tract, to which many historians of + Ireland have often referred. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that of the first + edition and compared with that given by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A SHORT VIEW + +OF + +THE STATE OF IRELAND. + + +I am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of +making men's court, when they are asked about the rate of lands, the +abilities of tenants, the state of trade and manufacture in this +Kingdom, and how their rents are paid, to answer, That in their +neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing condition, the rent and +purchase of land every day increasing. And if a gentleman happens to be +a little more sincere in his representations, besides being looked on as +not well affected, he is sure to have a dozen contradictors at his +elbow. I think it is no manner of secret why these questions are so +cordially asked, or so obligingly answered. + +But since with regard to the affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using +all endeavours to subdue my indignation, to which indeed I am not +provoked by any personal interest, being not the owner of one spot of +ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by rules generally +known, and never contradicted, what are the true causes of any country's +flourishing and growing rich, and then examine what effects arise from +those causes in the Kingdom of Ireland. + +The first cause of a Kingdom's thriving is the fruitfulness of the soil, +to produce the necessaries and conveniences of life, not only sufficient +for the inhabitants, but for exportation into other countries. + +The second, is the industry of the people in working up all their native +commodities to the last degree of manufacture. + +The third, is the conveniency of safe ports and havens, to carry out +their own goods, as much manufactured, and bring in those of others, as +little manufactured as the nature of mutual commerce will allow. + +The fourth, is, That the natives should as much as possible, export and +import their goods in vessels of their own timber, made in their own +country. + +The fifth, is the liberty of a free trade in all foreign countries, +which will permit them, except those who are in war with their own +Prince or State. + +The sixth, is, by being governed only by laws made with their own +consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all +appeals for justice, or applications, for favour or preferment to +another country, are so many grievous impoverishments. + +The seventh, is, by improvement of land, encouragement of agriculture, +and thereby increasing the number of their people, without which any +country, however blessed by Nature, must continue poor. + +The eighth, is the residence of the Princes, or chief administrators of +the civil power. + +The ninth, is the concourse of foreigners for education, curiosity or +pleasure, or as to a general mart of trade. + +The tenth, is by disposing all offices of honour, profit or trust, only +to the natives, or at least with very few exceptions, where strangers +have long inhabited the country, and are supposed to understand, and +regard the interest of it as their own. + +The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and profits of employments, +are spent in the country which produced them, and not in another, the +former of which will certainly happen, where the love of our native +country prevails. + +The twelfth, is by the public revenues being all spent and employed at +home, except on the occasions of a foreign war. + +The thirteenth, is where the people are not obliged, unless they find it +for their own interest, or conveniency, to receive any monies, except of +their own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of all civilized +nations. + +The fourteenth, is a disposition of the people of a country to wear +their own manufactures, and import as few incitements to luxury, either +in clothes, furniture, food or drink, as they possibly can live +conveniently without. + +There are many other causes of a Nation's thriving, which I cannot at +present recollect; but without advantage from at least some of these, +after turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from +whence our wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better +informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to +Ireland of these causes, or of the effects and consequences. + +It is not my intention to complain, but barely to relate facts, and the +matter is not of small importance. For it is allowed, that a man who +lives in a solitary house far from help, is not wise in endeavouring to +acquire in the neighbourhood, the reputation of being rich, because +those who come for gold, will go off with pewter and brass, rather than +return empty; and in the common practice of the world, those who possess +most wealth, make the least parade, which they leave to others, who have +nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their faces on the Exchange. + +As to the first cause of a Nation's riches, being the fertility of the +soil, as well as temperature of climate, we have no reason to complain; +for although the quantity of unprofitable land in this Kingdom, +reckoning bog, and rock, and barren mountain, be double in proportion to +what it is in England, yet the native productions which both Kingdoms +deal in, are very near on equality in point of goodness, and might with +the same encouragement be as well manufactured. I except mines and +minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of +skill and industry. + +In the second, which is the industry of the people, our misfortune is +not altogether owing to our own fault, but to a million of +discouragements. + +The conveniency of ports and havens which Nature bestowed us so +liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful prospect to a man +shut up in a dungeon. + +As to shipping of its own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that +of all the excellent timber cut down within these fifty or sixty years, +it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the benefit of one +valuable house to dwell in, or one ship to trade with. + +Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient +or modern story, which was denied the liberty of exporting their native +commodities and manufactures wherever they pleased, except to countries +at war with their own Prince or State, yet this by the superiority of +mere power is refused us in the most momentous parts of commerce,[49] +besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down +upon us, and rigorously executed,[50] and a thousand other unexampled +circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto +the rest. + +It is too well known that we are forced to obey some laws we never +consented to, which is a condition I must not call by its true +uncontroverted name for fear of my Lord Chief Justice Whitshed's ghost +with his _Libertas et natale solum_, written as a motto on his coach, as +it stood at the door of the court, while he was perjuring himself to +betray both.[51] Thus, we are in the condition of patients who have +physic sent them by doctors at a distance, strangers to their +constitution, and the nature of their disease: And thus, we are forced +to pay five hundred _per cent._ to divide our properties, in all which +we have likewise the honour to be distinguished from the whole race of +mankind. + +As to improvement of land, those few who attempt that or planting, +through covetousness or want of skill, generally leave things worse than +they were, neither succeeding in trees nor hedges, and by running into +the fancy of grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every day +depopulating the country. + +We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the +Viceroy is generally absent four-fifths of his time in the Government. + +No strangers from other countries make this a part of their travels, +where they can expect to see nothing but scenes of misery and +desolation.[52] + +Those who have the misfortune to be born here, have the least title to +any considerable employment to which they are seldom preferred, but upon +a political consideration. + +One third part of the rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with +the profit of employments, pensions, appeals, journeys of pleasure or +health, education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities, +remittances at pleasure, the pay of all superior officers in the army +and other incidents, will amount to a full half of the income of the +whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England. + +We are denied the liberty of coining gold, silver, or even copper. In +the Isle of Man, they coin their own silver, every petty Prince, vassal +to the Emperor, can coin what money he pleaseth.[53] And in this as in +most of the articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other +States or Monarchies that were ever known in the world. + +As to the last, or fourteenth article, we take special care to act +diametrically contrary to it in the whole course of our lives. Both +sexes, but especially the women, despise and abhor to wear any of their +own manufactures, even those which are better made than in other +countries, particularly a sort of silk plaid, through which the workmen +are forced to run a sort of gold thread that it may pass for Indian. +Even ale and potatoes in great quantity are imported from England as +well as corn, and our foreign trade is little more than importation of +French wine, for which I am told we pay ready money. + +Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be +glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a rich and +flourishing people, without liberty, trade, manufactures, inhabitants, +money, or the privilege of coining; without industry, labour or +improvement of lands, and with more than half of the rent and profits of +the whole Kingdom, annually exported, for which we receive not a single +farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the +linen of the North, a trade casual, corrupted, and at mercy, and some +butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every law of +Nature and Reason, like the thorn at Glastonbury, that blossoms in the +midst of Winter. + +Let the worthy Commissioners who come from England ride round the +Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the face of the natives, the +improvement of the land, the thriving numerous plantations, the noble +woods, the abundance and vicinity of country seats, the commodious +farmers houses and barns, the towns and villages, where everybody is +busy and thriving with all kind of manufactures, the shops full of goods +wrought to perfection, and filled with customers, the comfortable diet +and dress, and dwellings of the people, the vast numbers of ships in our +harbours and docks, and shipwrights in our sea-port towns. The roads +crowded with carriers laden with rich manufactures, the perpetual +concourse to and fro of pompous equipages. + +With what envy and admiration would these gentlemen return from so +delightful a progress? What glorious reports would they make when they +went back to England? + +But my heart is too heavy to continue this journey[54] longer, for it is +manifest that whatever stranger took such a journey, would be apt to +think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland,[55] rather than in a +country so favoured by Nature as ours, both in fruitfulness of soil, and +temperature of climate. The miserable dress, and diet, and dwelling of +the people. The general desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old +seats of the nobility and gentry all in ruins, and no new ones in their +stead. The families of farmers who pay great rents, living in filth and +nastiness upon butter-milk and potatoes, without a shoe or stocking to +their feet, or a house so convenient as an English hog-sty to receive +them.[56] These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English +spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the language, and +returns back to his own country, whither he finds all our wealth +transmitted. + + _Nostra miseria magnus es._ + +There is not one argument used to prove the riches of Ireland, which is +not a logical demonstration of its poverty. The rise of our rents is +squeezed out of the very blood and vitals, and clothes, and dwellings of +the tenants who live worse than English beggars. The lowness of +interest, in all other countries a sign of wealth, is in us a proof of +misery, there being no trade to employ any borrower. Hence alone comes +the dearness of land, since the savers have no other way to lay out +their money. Hence the dearness of necessaries for life, because the +tenants cannot afford to pay such extravagant rates for land (which they +must take, or go a-begging) without raising the price of cattle, and of +corn, although they should live upon chaff. Hence our increase of +buildings in this City, because workmen have nothing to do but employ +one another, and one half of them are infallibly undone. Hence the daily +increase of bankers, who may be a necessary evil in a trading country, +but so ruinous in ours, who for their private advantage have sent away +all our silver, and one third of our gold, so that within three years +past the running cash of the Nation, which was about five hundred +thousand pounds, is now less than two, and must daily diminish unless we +have liberty to coin, as well as that important Kingdom the Isle of Man, +and the meanest Prince in the German Empire, as I before observed.[57] + +I have sometimes thought, that this paradox of the Kingdom growing rich, +is chiefly owing to those worthy gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some +custom-house officers, birds of passage, oppressive thrifty squires, and +a few others that shall be nameless, are the only thriving people among +us: And I have often wished that a law were enacted to hang up half a +dozen bankers every year, and thereby interpose at least some short +delay, to the further ruin of Ireland. + +"Ye are idle, ye are idle," answered Pharaoh to the Israelites, when +they complained to his Majesty, that they were forced to make bricks +without straw. + +England enjoys every one of these advantages for enriching a Nation, +which I have above enumerated, and into the bargain, a good million +returned to them every year without labour or hazard, or one farthing +value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue +the payment, I am not under the least concern. One thing I know, that +_when the hen is starved to death, there will be no more golden eggs_. + +I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtile piece +of malice, that, because there may be a dozen families in this Town, +able to entertain their English friends in a generous manner at their +tables, their guests upon their return to England, shall report that we +wallow in riches and luxury. + +Yet I confess I have known an hospital, where all the household officers +grew rich, while the poor for whose sake it was built, were almost +starving for want of food and raiment. + +To conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, its wealth +and prosperity must be owing to certain causes, that are yet concealed +from the whole race of mankind, and the effects are equally invisible. +We need not wonder at strangers when they deliver such paradoxes, but a +native and inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same verdict, must +be either ignorant to stupidity, or a man-pleaser at the expense of all +honour, conscience and truth. + + + + +THE STORY + +OF THE + +INJURED LADY. + +WRITTEN BY HERSELF. + +AND + +THE ANSWER TO THE + +INJURED LADY. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift represents + England, Scotland, and Ireland--England being the gentleman and + Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is affecting an + honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents her + rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She + expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his + treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some + searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards + Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the story. + + In "The Answer to the Injured Lady" which follows "The Story," + Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her + future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates what + he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but formulates + it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her that + she should look to it that her "family and tenants have no + dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old + agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have the + same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you + should both agree to"; that she shall be free to carry her goods to + any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to whom + she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an agreement + with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If she + will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are + gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in her + resentment. + + * * * * * + + The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the + earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated with + that given by Faulkner. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE + +STORY + +OF THE + +INJURED LADY. + + +Being a true PICTURE of SCOTCH Perfidy, IRISH +Poverty, and ENGLISH Partiality. + +WITH + +LETTERS and POEMS + +Never before Printed. + + * * * * * + +By the Rev. Dr. SWIFT, D. S. P. D. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_, + +Printed for M. COOPER, at the _Globe_ in + +_Pater-Noster-Row_. MDCCXLVI. + +[Price One Shilling.] + + + + +SIR, + +Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a +true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to +credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men. + +A gentleman[58] in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and +myself;[59] and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three +houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a +river,[60] and from my rival's by an old broken wall.[61] But before I +enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will +give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself. + +As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad +features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty +ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her +natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the +itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue, +honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her +education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common conversation. +To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by +pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who is now so fond +of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his +face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her house is frequented by a +company of rogues and thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to +rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of +mischief.[62] She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals, +and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force +him to pay for the trouble she was at. Once, attended with a crew of +ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy, +and then set it on fire. At the same time she told so many lies among +his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor _Steward_ +was knocked on the head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the +Country, that she ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she +is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and +virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the +Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there +ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons. + +I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with +modesty and truth. + +I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I +became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair enough, +and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see me now +will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for +besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as +well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in. I might +add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now +turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been +the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64] + +Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or +fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish, +I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and +his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue +were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that +causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I was +undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins, +half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and protestations +of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon began to play the +usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all occasions to shew +his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he found fault with +the government of my family, which I grant, was none of the best, +consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that time, I knew +but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore, I agreed to +fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that his +steward[65] should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an +under-steward,[66] who should receive his directions. My lover proceeded +further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and supplying me +with others from his own house. These grew so domineering and +unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but +perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my +lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling +out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their stead +with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had no other +way to provide for.[67] Overcome by love and to avoid noise and +contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in vain to +resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new servants, +and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table with the +best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land, and +treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as their +master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I had not +a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were of his +choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over the +greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he began +to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he would +answer, that I was an old dependant upon his family, whom he had placed +on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly, +neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall +never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with +all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast +obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for +my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times +more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for +him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea: +That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able, +to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he expected +his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must maintain a +parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries to an +overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom he +would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me the +better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to +carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll +on both sides, and then sell them at half value.[68] But because we were +a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch anything +we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to employ his own +folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his market just in their +naturals;[69] the milk immediately from the cow without making it into +cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass as it is mowed; the +wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring the fruit upon the +branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after our filthy hands: +That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and cheese to eat by the +way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings, he should forfeit his +whole parcel: And because a company of rogues usually plied on the river +between us, who often robbed my tenants of their goods and boats, he +ordered a waterman of his to guard them, whose manner was to be out of +the way until the poor wretches were plundered; then to overtake the +thieves, and seize all as lawful prize to his master and himself. It +would be endless to repeat a hundred other hardships he hath put upon +me; but it is a general rule, that whenever he imagines the smallest +advantage will redound to one of his footboys by any new oppression of +me and my whole family and estate, he never disputeth it a moment. All +this hath rendered me so very insignificant and contemptible at home, +that some servants to whom I pay the greatest wages, and many tenants +who have the most beneficial leases, are gone over to live with him; yet +I am bound to continue their wages, and pay their rents;[70] by which +means one third part of my whole income is spent on his estate, and +above another third by his tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so +sunk and impoverished, that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my +quality, they can hardly find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the +common necessaries of life for themselves. + +Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received +intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing +overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some +misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened +to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having either +acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as tame a +fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but hearing at +the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private proposals to +join with me against him, and doubting, with very good reason, that I +would readily accept them, he seemed very much disconcerted.[71] This I +thought was a proper occasion to shew some great example of generosity +and love, and so, without further consideration, I sent him word, that +hearing there was likely to be a quarrel between him and my rival; +notwithstanding all that had passed, and without binding him to any +conditions in my own favour, I would stand by him against her and all +the world, while I had a penny in my purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This +message was subscribed by all my chief tenants; and proved so powerful, +that my rival immediately grew more tractable upon it. The result of +which was, that there is now a treaty of marriage concluded between +them,[72] the wedding clothes are bought, and nothing remaineth but to +perform the ceremony, which is put off for some days, because they +design it to be a public wedding. And to reward my love, constancy, and +generosity, he hath bestowed on me the office of being sempstress to his +grooms and footmen, which I am forced to accept or starve.[73] Yet, in +the midst of this my situation, I cannot but have some pity for this +deluded man, to cast himself away on an infamous creature, who, whatever +she pretendeth, I can prove, would at this very minute rather be a whore +to a certain great man, that shall be nameless, if she might have her +will.[74] For my part, I think, and so doth all the country too, that +the man is possessed; at least none of us are able to imagine what he +can possibly see in her, unless she hath bewitched him, or given him +some powder. + +I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness, +that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I +could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads higher, +would be glad to accept.[75] But alas! I never had any such wicked +thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to be free +from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he will let me +manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for which I will +undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year, much more +considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he must needs +find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my tenants so +dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves. There is one +imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think unsufferable, and +will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether it be so or not. I +told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to have the same +steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate my family and +estate by the same method with him, which he then shewed me writ down +in form, and I approved of.[76] Now, the turn he thinks fit to give this +compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends that whatever +orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in his family, he +may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without asking my advice, +or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a lease without his +consent, or give any directions for the well-governing of my family, but +what he countermands whenever he pleaseth. This leaveth me at such +confusion and uncertainty, that my servants know not when to obey me, +and my tenants, although many of them be very well inclined, seem quite +at a loss. + +But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I +hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth +upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice what +measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour, to +protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities I +lie under from that unkind, inconstant man. + + + + +THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY. + + +MADAM, + +I have received your Ladyship's letter, and carefully considered every +part of it, and shall give you my opinion how you ought to proceed for +your own security. But first, I must beg leave to tell your Ladyship, +that you were guilty of an unpardonable weakness t'other day in making +that offer to your lover, of standing by him in any quarrel he might +have with your rival. You know very well, that she began to apprehend he +had designs of using her as he had done you; and common prudence might +have directed you rather to have entered into some measures with her for +joining against him, until he might at least be brought to some +reasonable terms: But your invincible hatred to that lady hath carried +your resentments so high, as to be the cause of your ruin; yet, if you +please to consider, this aversion of yours began a good while before she +became your rival, and was taken up by you and your family in a sort of +compliment to your lover, who formerly had a great abhorrence for her. +It is true, since that time you have suffered very much by her +encroachments upon your estate,[77] but she never pretended to govern or +direct you: And now you have drawn a new enemy upon yourself; for I +think you may count upon all the ill offices she can possibly do you by +her credit with her husband; whereas, if, instead of openly declaring +against her without any provocation, you had but sat still awhile, and +said nothing, that gentleman would have lessened his severity to you out +of perfect fear. This weakness of yours, you call generosity; but I +doubt there was more in the matter. In short, Madam, I have good +reasons to think you were betrayed to it by the pernicious counsels of +some about you: For to my certain knowledge, several of your tenants and +servants, to whom you have been very kind, are as arrant rascals as any +in the Country. I cannot but observe what a mighty difference there is +in one particular between your Ladyship and your rival. Having yielded +up your person, you thought nothing else worth defending, and therefore +you will not now insist upon those very conditions for which you yielded +at first. But your Ladyship cannot be ignorant, that some years since +your rival did the same thing, and upon no conditions at all; nay, this +gentleman kept her as a miss, and yet made her pay for her diet and +lodging.[78] But, it being at a time when he had no steward, and his +family out of order, she stole away, and hath now got the trick very +well known among the women of the town, to grant a man the favour over +night and the next day have the impudence to deny it to his face. But, +it is too late to reproach you with any former oversights, which cannot +now be rectified. I know the matters of fact as you relate them are true +and fairly represented. My advice therefore is this. Get your tenants +together as soon as you conveniently can, and make them agree to the +following resolutions. + +_First_, That your family and tenants have no dependence upon the said +gentleman, further than by the old agreement, which obligeth you to have +the same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you +should both agree to.[79] + +_Secondly_, That you will not carry your goods to the market of his +town, unless you please, nor be hindered from carrying them anywhere +else.[80] + +_Thirdly_, That the servants you pay wages to shall live at home, or +forfeit their places.[81] + +_Fourthly_, That whatever lease you make to a tenant, it shall not be in +his power to break it.[82] + +If he will agree to these articles, I advise you to contribute as +largely as you can to all charges of Parish and County. + +I can assure you, several of that gentleman's ablest tenants and +servants are against his severe usage of you, and would be glad of an +occasion to convince the rest of their error, if you will not be wanting +to yourself. + +If the gentleman refuses these just and reasonable offers, pray let me +know it, and perhaps I may think of something else that will be more +effectual. + + I am, + Madam, + Your Ladyship's, etc. + + + + +AN + +ANSWER TO A PAPER, + +CALLED + +"A MEMORIAL + +OF THE + +POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND." + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1728. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This is, perhaps, as trenchant and fine a piece of writing as is to + be found in any of those pamphlets Swift wrote for the alleviation + of the miserable condition of Ireland. The author of the "Memorial" + to which Swift made this passionate reply was Sir John Browne, and + the purport of his writing may be easily gathered from Swift's + animadversions. + + * * * * * + + The text here given is based on that printed by Faulkner in 1735 in + the fourth volume of his collected edition of Swift's works. Scott + reprints Browne's "Memorial" and his reply to the present "Answer," + but they are of little importance and in no way assist us in our + appreciation of Swift's work. The date of Swift's answer is given + by Faulkner as "March 25th, 1728," which year Scott misprints 1738, + evidently a printer's error, though the arrangement of the order of + the pamphlets in his edition leaves much to be desired. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN ANSWER TO A PAPER, CALLED + +"A MEMORIAL + +OF THE + +POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND." + + +I received a paper from you, wherever you are, printed without any name +of author or printer, and sent, I suppose, to me among others, without +any particular distinction. It contains a complaint of the dearness of +corn, and some schemes of making it cheaper which I cannot approve of. + +But pray permit me, before I go further, to give you a short history of +the steps by which we arrived at this hopeful situation. + +It was, indeed, the shameful practice of too many Irish farmers, to wear +out their ground with ploughing; while, either through poverty, +laziness, or ignorance, they neither took care to manure it as they +ought, nor gave time to any part of the land to recover itself; and, +when their leases are near expiring, being assured that their landlords +would not renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made such a havock, +that many landlords were considerable sufferers by it. + +This gave birth to that abominable race of graziers, who, upon +expiration of the farmer's leases were ready to engross great quantities +of land; and the gentlemen having been before often ill paid, and their +land worn out of heart, were too easily tempted, when a rich grazier +made him an offer to take all his land, and give his security for +payment. Thus a vast tract of land, where twenty or thirty farmers +lived, together with their cottagers and labourers in their several +cabins, became all desolate, and easily managed by one or two herdsmen +and their boys; whereby the master-grazier, with little trouble, seized +to himself the livelihood of a hundred people. + +It must be confessed, that the farmers were justly punished for their +knavery, brutality, and folly. But neither are the squires and landlords +to be excused; for to them is owing the depopulating of the country, the +vast number of beggars, and the ruin of those few sorry improvements we +had. + +That farmers should be limited in ploughing is very reasonable, and +practised in England, and might have easily been done here by penal +clauses in their leases; but to deprive them, in a manner, altogether +from tilling their lands, was a most stupid want of thinking. + +Had the farmers been confined to plough a certain quantity of land, with +a penalty of ten pounds an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther +limited for the three or four last years of their leases, all this evil +had been prevented; the nation would have saved a million of money, and +been more populous by above two hundred thousand souls. + +For a people, denied the benefit of trade, to manage their lands in such +a manner as to produce nothing but what they are forbidden to trade +with,[83] or only such things as they can neither export nor manufacture +to advantage, is an absurdity that a wild Indian would be ashamed of; +especially when we add, that we are content to purchase this hopeful +commerce, by sending to foreign markets for our daily bread. + +The grazier's employment is to feed great flocks of sheep, or black +cattle, or both. With regard to sheep, as folly is usually accompanied +with perverseness, so it is here. There is something so monstrous to +deal in a commodity (further than for our own use) which we are not +allowed to export manufactured, nor even unmanufactured, but to one +certain country, and only to some few ports in that country;[84] there +is, I say, something so sottish, that it wants a name in our language +to express it by: and the good of it is, that the more sheep we have, +the fewer human creatures are left to wear the wool, or eat the flesh. +Ajax was mad, when he mistook a flock of sheep for his enemies; but we +shall never be sober, until we have the same way of thinking. + +The other part of the grazier's business is, what we call black-cattle, +producing hides, tallow, and beef for exportation: all which are good +and useful commodities, if rightly managed. But it seems, the greatest +part of the hides are sent out raw, for want of bark to tan them; and +that want will daily grow stronger; for I doubt the new project of +tanning without it is at an end. Our beef, I am afraid, still continues +scandalous in foreign markets, for the old reasons. But our tallow, for +anything I know, may be good. However, to bestow the whole kingdom on +beef and mutton, and thereby drive out half the people who should eat +their share, and force the rest to send sometimes as far as Egypt for +bread to eat with it, is a most peculiar and distinguished piece of +public economy, of which I have no comprehension. + +I know very well that our ancestors the Scythians, and their posterity +our kinsmen the Tartars, lived upon the blood, and milk, and raw flesh +of their cattle, without one grain of corn; but I confess myself so +degenerate, that I am not easy without bread to my victuals. + +What amazed me for a week or two, was to see, in this prodigious plenty +of cattle, and dearth of human creatures, and want of bread, as well as +money to buy it, that all kind of flesh-meat should be monstrously dear, +beyond what was ever known in this kingdom. I thought it a defect in the +laws, that there was not some regulation in the price of flesh, as well +as bread: but I imagine myself to have guessed out the reason: In short, +I am apt to think that the whole kingdom is overstocked with cattle, +both black and white; and as it is observed, that the poor Irish have a +vanity to be rather owners of two lean cows, than one fat, although +with double the charge of grazing, and but half the quantity of milk; so +I conceive it much more difficult at present to find a fat bullock or +wether, than it would be if half of both were fairly knocked on the +head: for I am assured that the district in the several markets called +Carrion Row is as reasonable as the poor can desire; only the +circumstance of money to purchase it, and of trade, or labour, to +purchase that money, are indeed wholly wanting. + +Now, sir, to return more particularly to you and your memorial. + +A hundred thousand barrels of wheat, you say, should be imported hither; +and ten thousand pounds premium to the importers. Have you looked into +the purse of the nation? I am no commissioner of the treasury; but am +well assured that the whole running cash would not supply you with a sum +to purchase so much corn, which, only at twenty shillings a barrel, will +be a hundred thousand pounds; and ten thousand more for the premiums. +But you will traffic for your corn with other goods: and where are those +goods? if you had them, they are all engaged to pay the rents of +absentees, and other occasions in London, besides a huge balance of +trade this year against us. Will foreigners take our bankers' papers? I +suppose they will value it at little more than so much a quire. Where +are these rich farmers and engrossers of corn, in so bad a year, and so +little sowing? + +You are in pain of two shillings premium, and forget the twenty +shillings for the price; find me out the latter, and I will engage for +the former. + +Your scheme for a tax for raising such a sum is all visionary, and owing +to a great want of knowledge in the _miserable state_ of this nation. +Tea, coffee, sugar, spices, wine, and foreign clothes, are the +particulars you mention upon which this tax should be raised. I will +allow the two first; because they are unwholesome; and the last, because +I should be glad if they were all burned: but I beg you will leave us +our wine to make us a while forget our misery; or give your tenants +leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a secret, which I +learned many years ago from the commissioners of the customs in London: +they said, when any commodity appeared to be taxed above a moderate +rate, the consequence was, to lessen that branch of the revenue by one +half; and one of those gentlemen pleasantly told me, that the mistake of +parliaments, on such occasions, was owing to an error of computing two +and two to make four; whereas, in the business of laying impositions, +two and two never made more than one; which happens by lessening the +import, and the strong temptation of running such goods as paid high +duties. At least in this kingdom, although the women are as vain and +extravagant as their lovers or their husbands can deserve, and the men +are fond enough of wine; yet the number of both who can afford such +expenses is so small, that the major part must refuse gratifying +themselves, and the duties will rather be lessened than increased. But, +allowing no force in this argument; yet so preternatural a sum as one +hundred and ten thousand pounds, raised all on a sudden, (for there is +no dallying with hunger,) is just in proportion with raising a million +and a half in England; which, as things now stand, would probably bring +that opulent kingdom under some difficulties. + +You are concerned how strange and surprising it would be in foreign +parts to hear that the poor were starving in a RICH country, +&c. Are you in earnest? Is Ireland the rich country you mean? Or are you +insulting our poverty? Were you ever out of Ireland? Or were you ever in +it till of late? You may probably have a good employment, and are saving +all you can to purchase a good estate in England. But by talking so +familiarly of one hundred and ten thousand pounds, by a tax upon a few +commodities, it is plain you are either naturally or affectedly ignorant +of our present condition: or else you would know and allow, that such a +sum is not to be raised here, without a general excise; since, in +proportion to our wealth, we pay already in taxes more than England ever +did in the height of the war. And when you have brought over your corn, +who will be the buyers? Most certainly not the poor, who will not be +able to purchase the twentieth part of it. + +Sir, upon the whole, your paper is a very crude piece, liable to more +objections than there are lines; but I think your meaning is good, and +so far you are pardonable. + +If you will propose a general contribution in supporting the poor in +potatoes and butter-milk, till the new corn comes in, perhaps you may +succeed better, because the thing at least is possible; and I think if +our brethren in England would contribute upon this emergency, out of the +million they gain from us every year, they would do a piece of justice +as well as charity. In the mean time, go and preach to your own tenants, +to fall to the plough as fast as they can; and prevail with your +neighbouring squires to do the same with theirs; or else die with the +guilt of having driven away half the inhabitants, and starving the rest. +For as to your scheme of raising one hundred and ten thousand pounds, it +is as vain as that of Rabelais; which was, to squeeze out wind from the +posteriors of a dead ass. + +But why all this concern for the poor? We want them not, as the country +is now managed; they may follow thousands of their leaders, and seek +their bread abroad. Where the plough has no work, one family can do the +business of fifty, and you may send away the other forty-nine. An +admirable piece of husbandry, never known or practised by the wisest +nations, who erroneously thought people to be the riches of a country! + +If so wretched a state of things would allow it, methinks I could have a +malicious pleasure, after all the warning I have in vain given the +public, at my own peril, for several years past, to see the consequences +and events answering in every particular. I pretend to no sagacity: what +I writ was little more than what I had discoursed to several persons, +who were generally of my opinion; and it was obvious to every common +understanding, that such effects must needs follow from such causes;--a +fair issue of things begun upon party rage, while some sacrificed the +public to fury, and others to ambition: while a spirit of faction and +oppression reigned in every part of the country, where gentlemen, +instead of consulting the ease of their tenants, or cultivating their +lands, were worrying one another upon points of Whig and Tory, of High +Church and Low Church; which no more concerned them than the long and +famous controversy of strops for razors: while agriculture was wholly +discouraged, and consequently half the farmers and labourers, and poorer +tradesmen, forced to beggary or banishment. "Wisdom crieth in the +streets: Because I have called on ye; I have stretched out my hand, and +no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all my counsels, and would +none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity, and mock when +your fear cometh." + +I have now done with your Memorial, and freely excuse your mistakes, +since you appear to write as a stranger, and as of a country which is +left at liberty to enjoy the benefits of nature, and to make the best of +those advantages which God hath given it, in soil, climate, and +situation. + +But having lately sent out a paper, entitled, _A Short View of the State +of Ireland_; and hearing of an objection, that some people think I have +treated the memory of the late Lord Chief Justice Whitshed with an +appearance of severity; since I may not probably have another +opportunity of explaining myself in that particular, I choose to do it +here. Laying it, therefore, down for a postulatum, which I suppose will +be universally granted, that no little creature of so mean a birth and +genius, had ever the honour to be a greater enemy to his country, and to +all kinds of virtue, than HE, I answer thus; Whether there be two +different goddesses called Fame, as some authors contend, or only one +goddess sounding two different trumpets, it is certain that people +distinguished for their villainy have as good a title for a blast from +the proper trumpet, as those who are most renowned for their virtues +have from the other; and have equal reason to complain if it be refused +them. And accordingly the names of the most celebrated profligates have +been faithfully transmitted down to posterity. And although the person +here understood acted his part in an obscure corner of the world, yet +his talents might have shone with lustre enough in the noblest scene. + +As to my naming a person dead, the plain honest reason is the best. He +was armed with power, guilt, and will to do mischief, even where he was +not provoked, as appeared by his prosecuting two printers,[85] one to +death, and both to ruin, who had neither offended God nor the King, nor +him nor the public. + +What an encouragement to vice is this! If an ill man be alive, and in +power, we dare not attack him; and if he be weary of the world, or of +his own villainies, he has nothing to do but die, and then his +reputation is safe. For these excellent casuists know just Latin enough +to have heard a most foolish precept, that _de mortuis nil nisi bonum_; +so that if Socrates, and Anytus his accuser, had happened to die +together, the charity of survivors must either have obliged them to hold +their peace, or to fix the same character on both. The only crime of +charging the dead is, when the least doubt remains whether the +accusation be true; but when men are openly abandoned, and lost to all +shame, they have no reason to think it hard if their memory be +reproached. Whoever reports, or otherwise publisheth, any thing which it +is possible may be false, that man is a slanderer; _hic niger est, hunc +tu, Romane, caveto_. Even the least misrepresentation, or aggravation of +facts, deserves the same censure, in some degree, but in this case, I am +quite deceived if my error hath not been on the side of extenuation. + +I have now present before me the idea of some persons (I know not in +what part of the world) who spend every moment of their lives, and every +turn of their thoughts, while they are awake, (and probably of their +dreams while they sleep,) in the most detestable actions and designs; +who delight in mischief, scandal, and obloquy, with the hatred and +contempt of all mankind against them, but chiefly of those among their +own party and their own family; such whose odious qualities rival each +other for perfection: avarice, brutality, faction, pride, malice, +treachery, noise, impudence, dullness, ignorance, vanity, and revenge, +contending every moment for superiority in their breasts. Such creatures +are not to be reformed, neither is it prudence or safety to attempt a +reformation. Yet, although their memories will rot, there may be some +benefit for their survivors to smell it while it is rotting. + + I am, Sir, + Your humble servant, + A. B. + + Dublin, + March 25th, 1728. + + + + +ANSWER + +TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN + +PERSONS.[86] + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + + + +ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS.[87] + + +GENTLEMEN, + +I am inclined to think that I received a letter from you two, last +summer, directed to Dublin, while I was in the country, whither it was +sent me; and I ordered an answer to it to be printed, but it seems it +had little effect, and I suppose this will have not much more. But the +heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, +and their eyes they have closed. And, gentlemen, I am to tell you +another thing: That the world is so regardless of what we write for the +public good, that after we have delivered our thoughts, without any +prospect of advantage, or of reputation, which latter is not to be had +but by subscribing our names, we cannot prevail upon a printer to be at +the charge of sending it into the world, unless we will be at all or +half the expense; and although we are willing enough to bestow our +labours, we think it unreasonable to be out of pocket; because it +probably may not consist with the situation of our affairs. + +I do very much approve your good intentions, and in a great measure your +manner of declaring them; and I do imagine you intended that the world +should not only know your sentiments, but my answer, which I shall +impartially give. + +That great prelate, to whose care you directed your letter, sent it to +me this morning;[88] and I begin my answer to-night, not knowing what +interruption I may meet with. + +I have ordered your letter to be printed, as it ought to be, along with +my answer; because I conceive it will be more acceptable and informing +to the kingdom. + +I shall therefore now go on to answer your letter in all manner of +sincerity. + +Although your letter be directed to me, yet I take myself to be only an +imaginary person; for, although I conjecture I had formerly one from +you, yet I never answered it otherwise than in print; neither was I at a +loss to know the reasons why so many people of this kingdom were +transporting themselves to America. And if this encouragement were owing +to a pamphlet written, giving an account of the country of Pennsylvania, +to tempt people to go thither, I do declare that those who were tempted, +by such a narrative, to such a journey, were fools, and the author a +most impudent knave; at least, if it be the same pamphlet I saw when it +first came out, which is above 25 years ago, dedicated to Will Penn +(whom by a mistake you call "Sir William Penn,") and styling him, by +authority of the Scripture, "Most Noble Governor." For I was very well +acquainted with Penn, and did, some years after, talk with him upon that +pamphlet, and the impudence of the author, who spoke so many things in +praise of the soil and climate, which Penn himself did absolutely +contradict. For he did assure me that his country wanted the shelter of +mountains, which left it open to the northern winds from Hudson's Bay +and the Frozen Sea, which destroyed all plantations of trees, and was +even pernicious to all common vegetables. But, indeed, New York, +Virginia, and other parts less northward, or more defended by mountains, +are described as excellent countries: but, upon what conditions of +advantage foreigners go thither, I am yet to seek.[89] + +What evils do our people avoid by running from hence, is easier to be +determined. They conceive themselves to live under the tyranny of most +cruel exacting landlords, who have no view further than increasing their +rent-rolls. Secondly, you complain of the want of trade, whereof you +seem not to know the reason. Thirdly, you lament most justly the money +spent by absentees in England. Fourthly, you complain that your linen +manufacture declines. Fifthly, that your tithe-collectors oppress you. +Sixthly, that your children have no hopes of preferment in the church, +the revenue, or the army; to which you might have added the law, and all +civil employments whatsoever. Seventhly, you are undone for silver, and +want all other money. + +I could easily add some other motives, which, to men of spirit, who +desire and expect, and think they deserve the common privileges of human +nature, would be of more force, than any you have yet named, to drive +them out of this kingdom. But, as these speculations may probably not +much affect the brains of your people, I shall choose to let them pass +unmentioned. Yet I cannot but observe, that my very good and virtuous +friend, his excellency Burnet, (_O fili, nec tali indigne parente!_)[90] +hath not hitherto been able to persuade his vassals, by his oratory in +the style of a command, to settle a revenue on his viceroyal person.[91] +I have been likewise assured, that in one of those colonies on the +continent, which nature hath so far favoured, as (by the industry of the +inhabitants) to produce a great quantity of excellent rice, the +stubbornness of the people, who having been told that the world is wide, +took it into their heads that they might sell their own rice at whatever +foreign markets they pleased, and seem, by their practice, very +unwilling to quit that opinion. + +But, to return to my subject: I must confess to you both, that if one +reason of your people's deserting us be, the despair of things growing +better in their own country, I have not one syllable to answer; because +that would be to hope for what is impossible; and so I have been telling +the public these ten years. For there are three events which must +precede any such blessing: First, a liberty of trade; secondly, a share +of preferments in all kinds, to the British natives; and thirdly, a +return of those absentees, who take almost one half of the kingdom's +revenues. As to the first, there is nothing left us but despair; and for +the third, it will never happen till the kingdom hath no money to send +them; for which, in my own particular, I should not be sorry. + +The exaction of landlords hath indeed been a grievance of above twenty +years' standing. But as to what you object about the severe clauses +relating to improvement, the fault lies wholly on the other side: for +the landlords, either by their ignorance, or greediness of making large +rent-rolls, have performed this matter so ill, as we see by experience, +that there is not one tenant in five hundred who hath made any +improvement worth mentioning. For which I appeal to any man who rides +through the kingdom, where little is to be found among the tenants but +beggary and desolation; the cabins of the Scotch themselves, in Ulster, +being as dirty and miserable as those of the wildest Irish. Whereas good +firm penal clauses for improvement, with a tolerable easy rent, and a +reasonable period of time, would, in twenty years, have increased the +rents of Ireland at least a third part in the intrinsic value. + +I am glad to hear you speak with some decency of the clergy, and to +impute the exactions you lament to the managers or farmers of the +tithes. But you entirely mistake the fact; for I defy the most wicked +and most powerful clergymen in the kingdom to oppress the meanest farmer +in the parish; and I likewise defy the same clergyman to prevent himself +from being cheated by the same farmer, whenever that farmer shall be +disposed to be knavish or peevish. For, although the Ulster +tithing-teller is more advantageous to the clergy than any other in the +kingdom, yet the minister can demand no more than his tenth; and where +the corn much exceeds the small tithes, as, except in some districts, I +am told it always doth, he is at the mercy of every stubborn farmer, +especially of those whose sect as well as interest incline them to +opposition. However, I take it that your people bent for America do not +shew the best part of their prudence in making this one part of their +complaint: yet they are so far wise, as not to make the payment of +tithes a scruple of conscience, which is too gross for any Protestant +dissenter, except a Quaker, to pretend. But do your people indeed think, +that if tithes were abolished, or delivered into the hands of the +landlord, after the blessed manner in the Scotch spiritual economy, that +the tenant would sit easier in his rent under the same person, who must +be lord of the soil and of the tithe together? + +I am ready enough to grant, that the oppression of landlords, the utter +ruin of trade, with its necessary consequence the want of money, half +the revenues of the kingdom spent abroad, the continued dearth of three +years, and the strong delusion in your people by false allurement from +America, may be the chief motives of their eagerness after such an +expedition. [But there is likewise another temptation, which is not of +inconsiderable weight; which is their itch of living in a country where +their sect is predominant, and where their eyes and consciences would +not be offended by the stumbling-block of ceremonies, habits, and +spiritual titles.[92]] + +But I was surprised to find that those calamities, whereof we are +innocent, have been sufficient to drive many families out of their +country, who had no reason to complain of oppressive landlords. For, +while I was last year in the northern parts, a person of quality, whose +estate was let above 20 years ago, and then at a very reasonable rent, +some for leases of lives, and some perpetuities, did, in a few months, +purchase eleven of those leases at a very inconsiderable price, although +they were, two years ago, reckoned to pay but half value. From whence it +is manifest, that our present miserable condition, and the dismal +prospect of worse, with other reasons above assigned, are sufficient to +put men upon trying this desperate experiment, of changing the scene +they are in, although landlords should, by a miracle, become less +inhuman. + +There is hardly a scheme proposed for improving the trade of this +kingdom, which doth not manifestly shew the stupidity and ignorance of +the proposer; and I laugh with contempt at those weak wise heads, who +proceed upon general maxims, or advise us to follow the examples of +Holland and England. These empirics talk by rote, without understanding +the constitution of the kingdom: as if a physician, knowing that +exercise contributed much to health, should prescribe to his patient +under a severe fit of the gout, to walk ten miles every morning. The +directions for Ireland are very short and plain; to encourage +agriculture and home consumption, and utterly discard all importations +which are not absolutely necessary for health or life. And how few +necessities, conveniences, or even comforts of life, are denied us by +nature, or not to be attained by labour and industry! Are those +detestable extravagancies of Flanders lace, English cloths of our own +wool, and other goods, Italian or Indian silks, tea, coffee, chocolate, +china-ware, and that profusion of wines, by the knavery of merchants +growing dearer every season, with a hundred unnecessary fopperies, +better known to others than me; are these, I say, fit for us, any more +than for the beggar who could not eat his veal without oranges? Is it +not the highest indignity to human nature, that men should be such +poltroons as to suffer the kingdom and themselves to be undone, by the +vanity, the folly, the pride, and wantonness of their wives,[93] who, +under their present corruptions, seem to be a kind of animal, suffered, +for our sins, to be sent into the world for the destruction of families, +societies, and kingdoms; and whose whole study seems directed to be as +expensive as they possibly can, in every useless article of living; who, +by long practice, can reconcile the most pernicious foreign drugs to +their health and pleasure, provided they are but expensive, as starlings +grow fat with henbane; who contract a robustness by mere practice of +sloth and luxury; who can play deep several hours after midnight, sleep +beyond noon, revel upon Indian poisons, and spend the revenue of a +moderate family to adorn a nauseous, unwholesome living carcase? Let +those few who are not concerned in any part of this accusation, suppose +it unsaid; let the rest take it among them. Gracious God, in His mercy, +look down upon a nation so shamefully besotted! + +If I am possessed of an hundred pounds a year, and by some misfortune it +sinks to fifty, without a possibility of ever being retrieved; does it +remain a question, in such an exigency, what I am to do? Must not I +retrench one-half in every article of expense, or retire to some cheap, +distant part of the country, where necessaries are at half value? + +Is there any mortal who can shew me, under the circumstances we stand +with our neighbours, under their inclinations towards us, under laws +never to be repealed, under the desolation caused by absentees, under +many other circumstances not to be mentioned, that this kingdom can ever +be a nation of trade, or subsist by any other method than that of a +reduced family, by the utmost parsimony, in the manner I have already +prescribed? + +I am tired with letters from many unreasonable, well-meaning people, who +are daily pressing me to deliver my thoughts in this deplorable +juncture, which, upon many others, I have so often done in vain. What +will it import, that half a score people in a coffee-house may happen to +read this paper, and even the majority of those few differ in every +sentiment from me? If the farmer be not allowed to sow his corn; if half +the little money among us be sent to pay rents to Irish absentees, and +the rest for foreign luxury and dress for the women, what will our +charitable dispositions avail, when there is nothing left to be given? +When, contrary to all custom and example, all necessaries of life are so +exorbitant; when money of all kinds was never known to be so scarce, so +that gentlemen of no contemptible estates are forced to retrench in +every article, (except what relates to their wives,) without being able +to shew any bounty to the poor? + + + + +AN ANSWER + +TO SEVERAL LETTERS SENT ME FROM + +UNKNOWN HANDS.[94] + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + +I am very well pleased with the good opinion you express of me; and wish +it were any way in my power to answer your expectations, for the service +of my country. I have carefully read your several schemes and proposals, +which you think should be offered to the Parliament. In answer, I will +assure you, that, in another place, I have known very good proposals +rejected with contempt by public assemblies, merely because they were +offered from without doors; and yours, perhaps, might have the same +fate, especially if handed into the public by me, who am not acquainted +with three members, nor have the least interest with one. My printers +have been twice prosecuted, to my great expense, on account of +discourses I writ for the public service, without the least reflection +on parties or persons; and the success I had in those of the Drapier, +was not owing to my abilities, but to a lucky juncture, when the fuel +was ready for the first hand that would be at the pains of kindling it. +It is true, both those envenomed prosecutions were the workmanship of a +judge, who is now gone _to his own place_.[95] But, let that be as it +will, I am determined, henceforth, never to be the instrument of leaving +an innocent man at the mercy of that bench. + +It is certain there are several particulars relating to this kingdom (I +have mentioned a few of them in one of my Drapier's letters,[96]) which +it were heartily to be wished that the Parliament would take under +their consideration, such as will nowise interfere with England, +otherwise than to its advantage. + +The first I shall mention, is touched at in a letter which I received +from one of you, gentlemen, about the highways; which, indeed, are +almost everywhere scandalously neglected. I know a very rich man in this +city, a true lover and saver of his money, who, being possessed of some +adjacent lands, hath been at great charge in repairing effectually the +roads that lead to them; and has assured me that his lands are thereby +advanced four or five shillings an acre, by which he gets treble +interest. But, generally speaking, all over the kingdom the roads are +deplorable; and, what is more particularly barbarous, there is no sort +of provision made for travellers on foot; no, not near this city, except +in a very few places, and in a most wretched manner: whereas the English +are so particularly careful in this point, that you may travel there an +hundred miles with less inconvenience than one mile here. But, since +this may be thought too great a reformation, I shall only speak of roads +for horses, carriages, and cattle.[97] + +Ireland is, I think, computed to be one-third smaller than England; yet, +by some natural disadvantages, it would not bear quite the same +proportion in value, with the same encouragement. However, it hath so +happened, for many years past, that it never arrived to above +one-eleventh part in point of riches; and of late, by the continual +decrease of trade, and increase of absentees, with other circumstances +not here to be mentioned, hardly to a fifteenth part; at least, if my +calculations be right, which I doubt are a little too favourable on our +side. + +Now, supposing day-labour to be cheaper by one half here than in +England, and our roads, by the nature of our carriages, and the +desolation of our country, to be not worn and beaten above one-eighth +part so much as those of England, which is a very moderate computation, +I do not see why the mending of them would be a greater burthen to this +kingdom than to that. + +There have been, I believe, twenty acts of Parliament, in six or seven +years of the late King, for mending long tracts of impassable ways in +several counties of England, by erecting turnpikes, and receiving +passage-money, in a manner that everybody knows. If what I have advanced +be true, it would be hard to give a reason against the same practice +here; since the necessity is as great, the advantage, in proportion, +perhaps much greater, the materials of stone and gravel as easy to be +found, and the workmanship, at least, twice as cheap. Besides, the work +may be done gradually, with allowances for the poverty of the nation, by +so many perch a year; but with a special care to encourage skill and +diligence, and to prevent fraud in the undertakers, to which we are too +liable, and which are not always confined to those of the meaner sort: +but against these, no doubt, the wisdom of the nation may and will +provide. + +Another evil, which, in my opinion, deserves the public care, is the ill +management of the bogs; the neglect whereof is a much greater mischief +to this kingdom than most people seem to be aware of. + +It is allowed, indeed, by those who are esteemed most skilful in such +matters, that the red, swelling mossy bog, whereof we have so many large +tracts in this island, is not by any means to be fully reduced; but the +skirts, which are covered with a green coat, easily may, being not an +accretion, or annual growth of moss, like the other. + +Now, the landlords are generally too careless that they suffer their +tenants to cut their turf in these skirts, as well as the bog adjoined; +whereby there is yearly lost a considerable quantity of land throughout +the kingdom, never to be recovered. + +But this is not the greatest part of the mischief: for the main bog, +although, perhaps, not reducible to natural soil, yet, by continuing +large, deep, straight canals through the middle, cleaned at proper times +as low as the channel or gravel, would become a secure summer-pasture; +the margins might, with great profit and ornament, be filled with +quickens, birch, and other trees proper for such a soil, and the canals +be convenient for water-carriage of the turf, which is now drawn upon +sled-cars, with great expense, difficulty, and loss of time, by reason +of the many turf-pits scattered irregularly through the bog, wherein +great numbers of cattle are yearly drowned. And it hath been, I confess, +to me a matter of the greatest vexation, as well as wonder, to think how +any landlord could be so absurd as to suffer such havoc to be made. + +All the acts for encouraging plantations of forest-trees are, I am told, +extremely defective;[98] which, with great submission, must have been +owing to a defect of skill in the contrivers of them. In this climate, +by the continual blowing of the west-south-west wind, hardly any tree of +value will come to perfection that is not planted in groves, except very +rarely, and where there is much land-shelter. I have not, indeed, read +all the acts; but, from enquiry, I cannot learn that the planting in +groves is enjoined. And as to the effects of these laws, I have not seen +the least, in many hundred miles riding, except about a very few +gentlemen's houses, and even those with very little skill or success. In +all the rest, the hedges generally miscarry, as well as the larger +slender twigs planted upon the tops of ditches, merely for want of +common skill and care. + +I do not believe that a greater and quicker profit could be made, than +by planting large groves of ash a few feet asunder, which in seven years +would make the best kind of hop-poles, and grow in the same or less time +to a second crop from their roots. + +It would likewise be of great use and beauty in our desert scenes, to +oblige all tenants and cottagers to plant ash or elm before their +cabins, and round their potato-gardens, where cattle either do not or +ought not to come to destroy them. + +The common objections against all this, drawn from the laziness, the +perverseness, or thievish disposition, of the poor native Irish, might +be easily answered, by shewing the true reasons for such accusations, +and how easily those people may be brought to a less savage manner of +life: but my printers have already suffered too much for my +speculations. However, supposing the size of a native's understanding +just equal to that of a dog or horse, I have often seen those two +animals to be civilized by rewards, at least as much as by punishments. + +It would be a noble achievement to abolish the Irish language in this +kingdom, so far at least as to oblige all the natives to speak only +English on every occasion of business, in shops, markets, fairs, and +other places of dealing: yet I am wholly deceived, if this might not be +effectually done in less than half an age, and at a very trifling +expense; for such I look upon a tax to be of only six thousand pounds a +year, to accomplish so great a work.[99] This would, in a great measure, +civilize the most barbarous among them, reconcile them to our customs +and manner of living, and reduce great numbers to the national religion, +whatever kind may then happen to be established. The method is plain and +simple; and although I am too desponding to produce it, yet I could +heartily wish some public thoughts were employed to reduce this +uncultivated people from that idle, savage, beastly, thievish manner of +life, in which they continue sunk to a degree, that it is almost +impossible for a country gentleman to find a servant of human capacity, +or the least tincture of natural honesty; or who does not live among his +own tenants in continual fear of having his plantations destroyed, his +cattle stolen, and his goods pilfered. + +The love, affection, or vanity of living in England, continuing to carry +thither so many wealthy families, the consequences thereof, together +with the utter loss of all trade, except what is detrimental, which hath +forced such great numbers of weavers, and others, to seek their bread in +foreign countries; the unhappy practice of stocking such vast quantities +of land with sheep and other cattle, which reduceth twenty families to +one: these events, I say, have exceedingly depopulated this kingdom for +several years past. I should heartily wish, therefore, under this +miserable dearth of money, that those who are most concerned would think +it advisable to save a hundred thousand pounds a year, which is now sent +out of this kingdom, to feed us with corn. There is not an older or more +uncontroverted maxim in the politics of all wise nations, than that of +encouraging agriculture: and therefore, to what kind of wisdom a +practice so directly contrary among us may be reduced, I am by no means +a judge. If labour and people make the true riches of a nation, what +must be the issue where one part of the people are forced away, and the +other part have nothing to do? + +If it should be thought proper by wiser heads, that his Majesty might be +applied to in a national way, for giving the kingdom leave to coin +halfpence for its own use, I believe no good subject will be under the +least apprehension that such a request could meet with refusal, or the +least delay. Perhaps we are the only kingdom upon earth, or that ever +was or will be upon earth, which did not enjoy that common right of +civil society, under the proper inspection of its prince or legislature, +to coin money of all usual metals for its own occasions. Every petty +prince in Germany, vassal to the Emperor, enjoys this privilege. And I +have seen in this kingdom several silver pieces, with the inscription of +CIVITAS WATERFORD, DROGHEDAGH, and other towns. + + + + +A LETTER + +TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN, + +CONCERNING THE WEAVERS. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The archbishop to whom Swift wrote was Dr. William King, for many + years his friend. King was a fine patriot and had stood out + strongly against the imposition of Wood's Halfpence. In this + letter, so characteristic of Swift's attitude towards the condition + of Ireland, he aims at a practical and immediate relief. The causes + for this condition discussed so ably by Molesworth, Prior and Dobbs + in their various treatises are too academic for him. His "Proposal + for the Universal Use of Irish Manufacture" well illustrates the + kind of practical reform Swift insisted on. Yet the insistence was + more because of the spirit of independence such a course demanded. + To Swift there was no hope for Ireland without a radical change in + the spirit of its people. The change meant the assertion of + manliness, independence, and strength of character. How to attain + these, and how to make the people aware of their power, were always + Swift's aims. All his tracts are assertions of and dilations on + these themes. If the people were but to insist on wearing their own + manufactures, since they were prohibited from exporting them, they + would keep their money in the kingdom. Likewise, if they were to + deny themselves the indulgence in luxuries, they would not have to + send out their money to the countries from which these luxuries + were obtained. There were methods ready at hand, but the practice + in them would result in the cultivation of that respect for + themselves without which a nation is worse than a pauper and lower + than a slave. + + * * * * * + + The text of this edition is based on the original manuscript, and + collated with that of Scott's second edition of Swift's collected + works. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER TO THE ARCHBISHOP OF DUBLIN, CONCERNING THE WEAVERS. + + +MY LORD, + +The corporation of weavers in the woollen manufacture, who have so often +attended your Grace, and called upon me with their schemes and proposals +were with me on Thursday last, when he who spoke for the rest and in the +name of his absent brethren, said, "It was the opinion of the whole +body, that if somewhat were written at this time by an able hand to +persuade the people of the Kingdom to wear their own woollen +manufactures, it might be of good use to the Nation in general, and +preserve many hundreds of their trade from starving." To which I +answered, "That it was hard for any man of common spirit to turn his +thoughts to such speculations, without discovering a resentment which +people are too delicate to bear." For, I will not deny to your Grace, +that I cannot reflect on the singular condition of this Country, +different from all others upon the face of the Earth, without some +emotion, and without often examining as I pass the streets whether those +animals which come in my way with two legs and human faces, clad and +erect, be of the same species with what I have seen very like them in +England, as to the outward shape, but differing in their notions, +natures, and intellectuals, more than any two kinds of brutes in a +forest, which any men of common prudence would immediately discover, by +persuading them to define what they mean by law, liberty, property, +courage, reason, loyalty or religion. + +One thing, my Lord, I am very confident of; that if God Almighty for +our sins would most justly send us a pestilence, whoever should dare to +discover his grief in public for such a visitation, would certainly be +censured for disaffection to the Government. For I solemnly profess, +that I do not know one calamity we have undergone this many years, +whereof any man whose opinions were not in fashion dared to lament +without being openly charged with that imputation. And this is the +harder, because although a mother when she hath corrected her child may +sometimes force it to kiss the rod, yet she will never give that power +to the footboy or the scullion. + +My Lord, there are two things for the people of this Kingdom to +consider. First their present evil condition; and secondly what can be +done in some degree to remedy it. + +I shall not enter into a particular description of our present misery; +It hath been already done in several papers, and very fully in one, +entitled, "A short View of the State of Ireland." It will be enough to +mention the entire want of trade, the Navigation Act executed with the +utmost rigour, the remission of a million every year to England, the +ruinous importation of foreign luxury and vanity, the oppression of +landlords, and discouragement of agriculture. + +Now all these evils are without the possibility of a cure except that of +importations, and to fence against ruinous folly will be always in our +power in spite of the discouragements, mortifications, contempt, hatred, +and oppression we can lie under. But our trade will never mend, the +Navigation Act never be softened, our absentees never return, our +endless foreign payments never be lessened, or our landlords ever be +less exacting. + +All other schemes for preserving this Kingdom from utter ruin are idle +and visionary, consequently drawn from wrong reasoning, and from general +topics which for the same causes that they may be true in all Nations +are certainly false in ours; as I have told the Public often enough, but +with as little effect as what I shall say at present is likely to +produce. + +I am weary of so many abortive projects for the advancement of trade, of +so many crude proposals in letters sent me from unknown hands, of so +many contradictory speculations about raising or sinking the value of +gold and silver: I am not in the least sorry to hear of the great +numbers going to America, though very much so for the causes that drive +them from us, since the uncontrolled maxim, "That people are the riches +of a Nation," is no maxim here under our circumstances. We have neither +[manufactures] to employ them about, nor food to support them. + +If a private gentleman's income be sunk irretrievably for ever from a +hundred pounds to fifty, and that he hath no other method to supply the +deficiency, I desire to know, my Lord, whether such a person hath any +other course to take than to sink half his expenses in every article of +economy, to save himself from ruin and the gaol. Is not this more than +doubly the case of Ireland, where the want of money, the irrecoverable +ruin of trade, with the other evils above mentioned, and many more too +well known and felt, and too numerous or invidious to relate, have been +gradually sinking us for above a dozen years past, to a degree that we +are at least by two thirds in a worse condition than was ever known +since the Revolution? Therefore instead of dreams and projects for the +advancing of trade, we have nothing left but to find out some expedient +whereby we may reduce our expenses to our incomes. + +Yet this procedure, allowed so necessary in all private families, and in +its own nature so easy to be put in practice, may meet with strong +opposition by the cowardly slavish indulgence of the men to the +intolerable pride arrogance vanity and luxury of the women, who strictly +adhering to the rules of modern education seem to employ their whole +stock of invention in contriving new arts of profusion, faster than the +most parsimonious husband can afford; and to compass this work the more +effectually, their universal maxim is to despise and detest everything +of the growth and manufacture of their own country, and most to value +whatever comes from the very remotest parts of the globe. And I am +convinced, that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon, +with a passage to it, our women would wear nothing but what came +directly from thence.[100] + +The prime cost of wine yearly imported to Ireland is valued at thirty +thousand pounds, and the tea (including coffee and chocolate) at five +times that sum. The lace, silks, calicoes, and all other unnecessary +ornaments for women, including English cloths and stuffs, added to the +former articles, make up (to compute grossly), about four hundred +thousand pounds. + +Now, if we should allow the thirty thousand pounds for wine, wherein the +women have their share, and which is all we have to comfort us, and +deduct seventy thousand pounds more for over-reckoning, there would +still remain three hundred thousand pounds, annually spent for +unwholesome drugs, and unnecessary finery. Which prodigious sum would be +wholly saved, and many thousands of our miserable shopkeepers and +manufacturers comfortably supported. + +Let speculative people busy their brains as much as they please, there +is no other way to prevent this Kingdom from sinking for ever than by +utterly renouncing all foreign dress and luxury. + +It is absolutely so in fact that every husband of any fortune in the +Kingdom is nourishing a poisonous, devouring serpent in his bosom with +all the mischief but with none of its wisdom. + +If all the women were clad with the growth of their own Country, they +might still vie with each other in the cause of foppery, and still have +room left to vie with each other, and equally shew their wit and +judgment in deciding upon the variety of Irish stuffs; And if they could +be contented with their native wholesome slops for breakfast, we should +hear no more of their spleen, hysterics, colics, palpitations, and +asthmas. They might still be allowed to ruin each other and their +husbands at play, because the money lost would only circulate among +ourselves. + +My Lord; I freely own it a wild imagination that any words will cure the +sottishness of men, or the vanity of women, but the Kingdom is in a fair +way of producing the most effectual remedy, when there will not be money +left for the common course of buying and selling the very necessaries of +life in our markets, unless we absolutely change the whole method of our +proceedings. + +This Corporation of Weavers in Woollen and Silks, who have so frequently +offered proposals both to your Grace and to me, are the hottest and +coldest generation of men that I have known. About a month ago they +attended your Grace, when I had the honour to be with you, and designed +me then the same favour. They desired you would recommend to your clergy +to wear gowns of Irish stuffs, which might probably spread the example +among all their brethren in the Kingdom, and perhaps among the lawyers +and gentlemen of the University and among the citizens of those +Corporations who appear in gowns on solemn occasions. I then mentioned a +kind of stuff, not above eightpence a yard, which I heard had been +contrived by some of the trade and was very convenient. I desired they +would prepare some of that or any sort of black stuff on a certain day, +when your Grace would appoint as many clergymen as could readily be +found to meet at your Palace, and there give their opinions; and that +your Grace's visitations approaching you could then have the best +opportunity of seeing what could be done in a matter of such +consequence, as they seemed to think, to the woollen manufacture. But +instead of attending, as was expected, they came to me a fortnight +after, with a new proposal; that something should be writ by an +acceptable and able hand to promote in general the wearing of home +manufactures, and their civilities would seem to fix that work upon me. +I asked whether they had prepared the stuffs, as they had promised, and +your Grace expected; but they had not made the least step in the matter, +nor as it appears thought of it more. + +I did some years ago propose to the masters and principal dealers in the +home manufactures of silk and wool, that they should meet together, and +after mature consideration, publish advertisements to the following +purpose.[101] That in order to encourage the wearing of Irish +manufactures in silk and woollen, they gave notice to the nobility and +gentry of the Kingdom, That they the undersigned would enter into bonds, +for themselves and for each other, to sell the several sorts of stuffs, +cloths and silks, made to the best perfection they were able, for +certain fixed prices, and in such a manner, that if a child were sent to +any of their shops, the buyer might be secure of the value and goodness, +and measure of the ware, and lest this might be thought to look like a +monopoly any other member of the trade might be admitted upon such +conditions as should be agreed on. And if any person whatsoever should +complain that he was ill used in the value or goodness of what he +bought, the matter should be examined, the person injured be fully +satisfied, by the whole corporation without delay, and the dishonest +seller be struck out of the society, unless it appeared evidently that +the failure proceeded only from mistake. + +The mortal danger is, that if these dealers could prevail by the +goodness and cheapness of their cloths and stuffs to give a turn to the +principal people of Ireland in favour of their goods, they would relapse +into the knavish practice peculiar to this Kingdom, which is apt to run +through all trades even so low as a common ale-seller, who as soon as he +gets a vogue for his liquor, and outsells his neighbour, thinks his +credit will put off the worst he can buy; till his customers will come +no more. Thus I have known at London in a general mourning, the drapers +dye black all their old damaged goods, and sell them at double rates, +and then complain and petition the Court, that they are ready to starve +by the continuance of the mourning. + +Therefore I say, those principal weavers who would enter in such a +compact as I have mentioned, must give sufficient security against all +such practices; for if once the women can persuade their husbands that +foreign goods besides the finery will be as cheap, and do more service, +our last state will be worse than the first. + +I do not here pretend to digest perfectly the method by which these +principal shopkeepers shall proceed in such a proposal; but my meaning +is clear enough, and cannot reasonably be objected against. + +We have seen what a destructive loss the Kingdom received by the +detestable fraud of the merchants, or Northern weavers, or both, +notwithstanding all the care of the Governers at that Board; the whole +trade with Spain for our linen, when we had an offer of commerce with +the Spaniards, to the value as I am told of three hundred thousand +pounds a year. But while we deal like pedlars, we shall practise like +pedlars; and sacrifice all honesty to the present urging advantage. + +What I have said may serve as an answer to the desire made me by the +Corporation of Weavers, that I would offer my notions to the public. As +to anything further, let them apply themselves to the Parliament in +their next Session. Let them prevail in the House of Commons to grant +one very reasonable request: And I shall think there is still some +spirit left in the Nation, when I read a vote to this purpose: +"Resolved, _nemine contradicente_, That this House will, for the future, +wear no clothes but such as are made of Irish growth, or of Irish +manufacture, nor will permit their wives or children to wear any other; +and that they will to the utmost endeavour to prevail with their +friends, relations, dependants and tenants to follow their example." And +if at the same time they could banish tea and coffee, and china-ware, +out of their families, and force their wives to chat their scandal over +an infusion of sage, or other wholesome domestic vegetables, we might +possibly be able to subsist, and pay our absentees, pensioners, +generals, civil officers, appeals, colliers, temporary travellers, +students, schoolboys, splenetic visitors of Bath, Tunbridge, and Epsom, +with all other smaller drains, by sending our crude unwrought goods to +England, and receiving from thence and all other countries nothing but +what is fully manufactured, and keep a few potatoes and oatmeal for our +own subsistence. + +I have been for a dozen years past wisely prognosticating the present +condition of this Kingdom, which any human creature of common sense +could foretell with as little sagacity as myself. My meaning is that a +consumptive body must needs die, which hath spent all its spirits and +received no nourishment. Yet I am often tempted to pity when I hear the +poor farmer and cottager lamenting the hardness of the times, and +imputing them either to one or two ill seasons, which better climates +than ours are more exposed to, or to the scarcity of silver which to a +Nation of Liberty would be only a slight and temporary inconveniency, to +be removed at a month's warning. + +Ap., 1729. + + + + +OBSERVATIONS, + +OCCASIONED BY READING A PAPER ENTITLED, "THE + +CASE OF THE WOOLLEN MANUFACTURES + +OF DUBLIN," ETC.[102] + + +The paper called "The Case of the Woollen Manufactures," &c. is very +well drawn up. The reasonings of the authors are just, the facts true, +and the consequences natural. But his censure of those seven vile +citizens, who import such a quantity of silk stuffs and woollen cloth +from England, is an hundred times gentler than enemies to their country +deserve; because I think no punishment in this world can be great enough +for them, without immediate repentance and amendment. But, after all, +the writer of that paper hath very lightly touched one point of the +greatest importance, and very poorly answered the main objection, that +the clothiers are defective both in the quality and quantity of their +goods. + +For my own part, when I consider the several societies of handicraftsmen +in all kinds, as well as shopkeepers, in this city, after eighteen +years' experience of their dealings, I am at a loss to know in which of +these societies the most or least honesty is to be found. For instance, +when any trade comes first into my head, upon examination I determine it +exceeds all others in fraud. But after I have considered them all round, +as far as my knowledge or experience reacheth, I am at a loss to +determine, and to save trouble I put them all upon a par. This I chiefly +apply to those societies of men who get their livelihood by the labour +of their hands. For, as to shopkeepers, I cannot deny that I have found +some few honest men among them, taking the word honest in the largest +and most charitable sense. But as to handicraftsmen, although I shall +endeavour to believe it possible to find a fair dealer among their +clans, yet I confess it hath never been once my good fortune to employ +one single workman, who did not cheat me at all times to the utmost of +his power in the materials, the work, and the price. One universal maxim +I have constantly observed among them, that they would rather gain a +shilling by cheating you, than twenty in the honest way of dealing, +although they were sure to lose your custom, as well as that of others, +whom you might probably recommend to them. + +This, I must own, is the natural consequence of poverty and oppression. +These wretched people catch at any thing to save them a minute longer +from drowning. Thus Ireland is the poorest of all civilized countries in +Europe, with every natural advantage to make it one of the richest. + +As to the grand objection, which this writer slubbers over in so +careless a manner, because indeed it was impossible to find a +satisfactory answer, I mean the knavery of our woollen manufacturers in +general, I shall relate some facts, which I had more opportunities to +observe than usually fall in the way of men who are not of the trade. +For some years, the masters and wardens, with many of their principal +workmen and shopkeepers, came often to the Deanery to relate their +grievances, and to desire my advice as well as my assistance. What +reasons might move them to this proceeding, I leave to public +conjecture. The truth is, that the woollen manufacture of this kingdom +sate always nearest my heart. But the greatest difficulty lay in these +perpetual differences between the shopkeepers and workmen they employed. +Ten or a dozen of these latter often came to the Deanery with their +complaints, which I often repeated to the shopkeepers. As, that they +brought their prices too low for a poor weaver to get his bread by; and +instead of ready money for their labour on Saturdays, they gave them +only such a quantity of cloth or stuff, at the highest rate, which the +poor men were often forced to sell one-third below the rate, to supply +their urgent necessities. On the other side, the shopkeepers complained +of idleness, and want of skill, or care, or honesty, in their workmen; +and probably their accusations on both sides were just. + +Whenever the weavers, in a body, came to me for advice, I gave it +freely, that they should contrive some way to bring their goods into +reputation; and give up that abominable principle of endeavouring to +thrive by imposing bad ware at high prices to their customers, whereby +no shopkeeper can reasonably expect to thrive. For, besides the dread of +God's anger, (which is a motive of small force among them,) they may be +sure that no buyer of common sense will return to the same shop where he +was once or twice defrauded. That gentlemen and ladies, when they found +nothing but deceit in the sale of Irish cloths and stuffs, would act as +they ought to do, both in prudence and resentment, in going to those +very bad citizens the writer mentions, and purchase English goods. + +I went farther, and proposed that ten or a dozen of the most substantial +woollen-drapers should join in publishing an advertisement, signed with +their names to the following purpose:--That for the better encouragement +of all gentlemen, &c. the persons undernamed did bind themselves +mutually to sell their several cloths and stuffs, (naming each kind) at +the lowest rate, right merchantable goods, of such a breadth, which they +would warrant to be good according to the several prices; and that if a +child of ten years old were sent with money, and directions what cloth +or stuff to buy, he should not be wronged in any one article. And that +whoever should think himself ill-used in any of the said shops, he +should have his money again from the seller, or upon his refusal, from +the rest of the said subscribers, who, if they found the buyer +discontented with the cloth or stuff, should be obliged to refund the +money; and if the seller refused to repay them, and take his goods +again, should publicly advertise that they would answer for none of his +goods any more. This would be to establish credit, upon which all trade +dependeth. + +I proposed this scheme several times to the corporation of weavers, as +well as to the manufacturers, when they came to apply for my advice at +the Deanery-house. I likewise went to the shops of several +woollen-drapers upon the same errand, but always in vain; for they +perpetually gave me the deaf ear, and avoided entering into discourse +upon that proposal: I suppose, because they thought it was in vain, and +that the spirit of fraud had gotten too deep and universal a possession +to be driven out by any arguments from interest, reason, or conscience. + + + + +THE + +PRESENT MISERABLE STATE + +OF + +IRELAND. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The following tract was taken by Sir Walter Scott "from a little + miscellaneous 12mo volume of pamphlets, communicated by Mr. + Hartsonge, relating chiefly to Irish affairs, the property at one + time of Thomas Kingsbury, Esq., son of Dr. Kingsbury, who attended + Swift in his last illness." The present editor came across a + similar volume while on a visit of research in Dublin, among the + collection of books which belonged to the late Sir W. Gilbert, and + which were being catalogued for auction by the bookseller, Mr. + O'Donoghue. The little 12mo contained this tract which had, as Sir + W. Scott points out, a portrait of Swift at the end, on the recto + of the last leaf. + + According to Sir W. Scott, the friend in Dublin to whom the letter + is supposed to be addressed, was Sir Robert Walpole. If Scott be + correct, and there seems little reason to doubt his conjecture, the + tract must have been written in the second half of the year 1726. + In the early part of that year Swift had an interview with Walpole. + Our knowledge of what transpired at that interview is obtained from + Swift's letter of April 28th, 1726, to Lord Peterborough; from + Swift's letter to Dr. Stopford of July 20th, 1726; from Pope's + letter to Swift of September 3rd, 1726; and from Swift's letter to + Lady Betty Germaine of January 8th, 1732/3. From these letters we + learn that Swift was really invited by Walpole to meet him. Swift's + visit to England concerned itself mainly with the publication of + "Gulliver's Travels," but Sir Henry Craik thinks that Swift had + other thoughts. "As regards politics," says this biographer, "he + was encouraged to hope that without loss either of honour or + consistency, it was open to him to make terms with the new powers. + In the end, the result proved that he either over-estimated his own + capacity of surrendering his independence, or under-estimated the + terms that would be exacted." This remark would leave it open for a + reader to conclude that Swift would, at a certain price, have been + ready to join Walpole and his party. But the letters referred to do + not in the least warrant such a conclusion. Swift's thought was for + Ireland, and had he been successful with Walpole in his pleading + for Ireland's cause that minister might have found an ally in + Swift; but the price to be paid was not to the man. From Swift's + letter to Peterborough we are at once introduced to Ireland's case, + and his point of view on this was so opposed to Walpole's + preconceived notions of how best to govern Ireland, as well as of + his settled plans, that Swift found, as he put it, that Walpole + "had conceived opinions ... which I could not reconcile to the + notions I had of liberty." Not at all of his own liberty, but of + that of the liberty of a nation; for, as he says (giving now the + quotation in full): "I had no other design in desiring to see Sir + Robert Walpole, than to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in + a true light, not only without any view to myself, but to any party + whatsoever ... I failed very much in my design; for I saw that he + had conceived opinions, _from the example and practices of the + present, and some former governors_, which I could not reconcile to + the notions I had of liberty." The part given here in italics is + omitted by Sir H. Craik in his quotation. + + Swift saw Walpole twice--once at Walpole's invitation at a dinner + at Chelsea, and a second time at his own wish, expressed through + Lord Peterborough. At the first meeting nothing of politics could + be broached, as the encounter was a public one. The second meeting + was private and resulted in nothing. The letter to Peterborough was + written by Swift the day after he had seen Walpole, and + Peterborough was requested to show it to that minister. The letter + is so pertinent to the subject-matter of this volume that it is + printed here: + + + "_April 28th, 1726._ + "SWIFT TO THE EARL OF PETERBOROUGH. + + "MY LORD, + + "Your lordship having, at my request, obtained for me an hour from + Sir Robert Walpole, I accordingly attended him yesterday at eight + o'clock in the morning, and had somewhat more than an hour's + conversation with him. Your lordship was this day pleased to + inquire what passed between that great minister and me; to which I + gave you some general answers, from whence you said you could + comprehend little or nothing. + + "I had no other design in desiring to see Sir Robert Walpole, than + to represent the affairs of Ireland to him in a true light, not + only without any view to myself, but to any party whatsoever: and, + because I understood the affairs of that kingdom tolerably well, + and observed the representations he had received were such as I + could not agree to; my principal design was to set him right, not + only for the service of Ireland, but likewise of England, and of + his own administration. + + "I failed very much in my design; for I saw he had conceived + opinions, from the example and practices of the present, and some + former governors, which I could not reconcile to the notions I had + of liberty, a possession always understood by the British nation to + be the inheritance of a human creature. + + "Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to enlarge very much upon the + subject of Ireland, in a manner so alien from what I conceived to + be the rights and privileges of a subject of England, that I did + not think proper to debate the matter with him so much as I + otherwise might, because I found it would be in vain. I shall, + therefore, without entering into dispute, make bold to mention to + your lordship some few grievances of that kingdom, as it consists + of a people who, beside a natural right of enjoying the privileges + of subjects, have also a claim of merit from their extraordinary + loyalty to the present king and his family. + + "First, That all persons born in Ireland are called and treated as + Irishmen, although their fathers and grandfathers were born in + England; and their predecessors having been conquerors of Ireland, + it is humbly considered they ought to be on as good a foot as any + subjects of Britain, according to the practice of all other + nations, and particularly of the Greeks and Romans. + + "Secondly, That they are denied the natural liberty of exporting + their manufactures to any country which is not engaged in a war + with England. + + "Thirdly, That whereas there is a university in Ireland, founded by + Queen Elizabeth, where youth are instructed with a much stricter + discipline than either in Oxford or Cambridge, it lies under the + greatest discouragements, by filling all the principal employments, + civil and ecclesiastical, with persons from England, who have + neither interest, property, acquaintance, nor alliance, in that + kingdom; contrary to the practice of all other states in Europe + which are governed by viceroys, at least what hath never been used + without the utmost discontents of the people. + + "Fourthly, That several of the bishops sent over to Ireland, having + been clergymen of obscure condition, and without other distinction + than that of chaplains to the governors, do frequently invite over + their old acquaintances or kindred, to whom they bestow the best + preferment in their gift. The like may be said of the judges, who + take with them one or two dependants, to whom they give their + countenance; and who, consequently, without other merit, grow + immediately into the chief business of their courts. The same + practice is followed by all others in civil employments, if they + have a cousin, a valet, or footman in their family, born in + England. + + "Fifthly, That all civil employments, granted in reversion, are + given to persons who reside in England. + + "The people of Ireland, who are certainly the most loyal subjects + in the world, cannot but conceive that most of these hardships have + been the consequence of some unfortunate representations (at least) + in former times; and the whole body of the gentry feel the effects + in a very sensible part, being utterly destitute of all means to + make provision for their younger sons, either in the Church, the + law, the revenue, or (of late) in the army; and, in the desperate + condition of trade, it is equally vain to think of making them + merchants. All they have left is, at the expiration of leases, to + rack their tenants, which they have done to such a degree, that + there is not one farmer in a hundred through the kingdom who can + afford shoes or stockings to his children, or to eat flesh, or + drink anything better than sour milk or water, twice in a year; so + that the whole country, except the Scottish plantation in the + north, is a scene of misery and desolation hardly to be matched on + this side of Lapland. + + "The rents of Ireland are computed to about a million and a half, + whereof one half million at least is spent by lords and gentlemen + residing in England, and by some other articles too long to + mention. + + "About three hundred thousand pounds more are returned thither on + other accounts; and, upon the whole, those who are the best versed + in that kind of knowledge agree, that England gains annually by + Ireland a million at least, which even I could make appear beyond + all doubt. + + "But, as this mighty profit would probably increase, with tolerable + treatment, to half a million more, so it must of necessity sink, + under the hardships that kingdom lies at present. + + "And whereas Sir Robert Walpole was pleased to take notice, how + little the king gets by Ireland, it ought, perhaps to be + considered, that the revenues and taxes, I think, amount to above + four hundred thousand pounds a-year; and, reckoning the riches of + Ireland, compared with England, to be as one to twelve, the king's + revenues there would be equal to more than five millions here; + which, considering the bad payment of rents, from such miserable + creatures as most of the tenants in Ireland are, will be allowed to + be as much as such a kingdom can bear. + + "The current coin of Ireland is reckoned, at most, but at five + hundred thousand pounds; so that above four-fifths are paid every + year into the exchequer. + + "I think it manifest, that whatever circumstances could possibly + contribute to make a country poor and despicable, are all united + with respect to Ireland. The nation controlled by laws to which + they do not consent, disowned by their brethren and countrymen, + refused the liberty not only of trading with their own + manufactures, but even their native commodities, forced to seek for + justice many hundred miles by sea and land, rendered in a manner + incapable of serving their king and country in any employment of + honour, trust, or profit; and all this without the least demerit; + while the governors sent over thither can possibly have no + affection to the people, further than what is instilled into them + by their own justice and love of mankind, which do not always + operate; and whatever they please to represent hither is never + called in question. + + "Whether the representatives of such a people, thus distressed and + laid in the dust, when they meet in a parliament, can do the public + business with that cheerfulness which might be expected from + free-born subjects, would be a question in any other country except + that unfortunate island; the English inhabitants whereof have given + more and greater examples of their loyalty and dutifulness, than + can be shown in any other part of the world. + + "What part of these grievances may be thought proper to be + redressed by so wise and great a minister as Sir Robert Walpole, he + perhaps will please to consider; especially because they have been + all brought upon that kingdom since the Revolution; which, however, + is a blessing annually celebrated there with the greatest zeal and + sincerity. + + "I most humbly entreat your lordship to give this paper to Sir + Robert Walpole, and desire him to read it, which he may do in a few + minutes. I am, with the greatest respect, my lord, + + "Your lordship's + "most obedient and humble servant, + "JON. SWIFT." + + Scott thinks that had Swift been anxious for personal favours from + Walpole he could easily have obtained them; "but the minister did + not choose to gain his adherence at the expense of sacrificing the + system which had hitherto guided England in her conduct towards the + sister kingdom, and the patriot of Ireland was not to be won at a + cheaper rate than the emancipation of his country." + + The original pamphlet bears neither date nor printer's name. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE PRESENT MISERABLE STATE OF IRELAND. + + +SIR, + +By the last packets I had the favour of yours, and am surprised that you +should apply to a person so ill qualified as I am, for a full and +impartial account of the state of our trade. I have always lived as +retired as possible; I have carefully avoided the perplexed honour of +city-offices; I have never minded anybody's business but my own; upon +all which accounts, and several others, you might easily have found +among my fellow-citizens, persons more capable to resolve the weighty +questions you put to me, than I can pretend to be. + +But being entirely at leisure, even at this season of the year, when I +used to have scarce time sufficient to perform the necessary offices of +life, I will endeavour to comply with your requests, cautioning you not +implicitly to rely upon what I say, excepting what belongs to that +branch of trade in which I am more immediately concerned. + +The Irish trade is, at present, in the most deplorable condition that +can be imagined; to remedy it, the causes of its languishment must be +inquired into: But as those causes (you may assure yourself) will not be +removed, you may look upon it as a thing past hopes of recovery. + +The first and greatest shock our trade received, was from an act passed +in the reign of King William, in the Parliament of England, prohibiting +the exportation of wool manufactured in Ireland. An act (as the event +plainly shews) fuller of greediness than good policy; an act as +beneficial to France and Spain, as it has been destructive to England +and Ireland.[103] At the passing of this fatal act, the condition of +our trade was glorious and flourishing, though no way interfering with +the English; we made no broad-cloths above _6s._ per yard; coarse +druggets, bays and shalloons, worsted damasks, strong draught works, +slight half-works, and gaudy stuffs, were the only product of our looms: +these were partly consumed by the meanest of our people, and partly +sent to the northern nations, from which we had in exchange, timber, +iron, hemp, flax, pitch, tar, and hard dollars. At the time the current +money of Ireland was foreign silver, a man could hardly receive _100l._, +without finding the coin of all the northern powers, and every prince of +the empire among it. This money was returned into England for fine +cloths, silks, &c. for our own wear, for rents, for coals, for hardware, +and all other English manufactures, and, in a great measure, supplied +the London merchants with foreign silver for exportation. + +The repeated clamours of the English weavers produced this act, so +destructive to themselves and us. They looked with envious eyes upon our +prosperity, and complained of being undersold by us in those +commodities, which they themselves did not deal in. At their instances +the act was passed, and we lost our profitable northern trade. Have they +got it? No, surely, you have found they have ever since declined in the +trade they so happily possessed; you shall find (if I am rightly +informed) towns without one loom in them, which subsisted entirely upon +the woollen manufactory before the passing of this unhappy bill; and I +will try if I can give the true reasons for the decay of their trade, +and our calamities. + +Three parts in four of the inhabitants of that district of the town +where I dwell were English manufacturers, whom either misfortunes in +trade, little petty debts, contracted through idleness, or the pressures +of a numerous family, had driven into our cheap country: These were +employed in working up our coarse wool, while the finest was sent into +England. Several of these had taken the children of the native Irish +apprentices to them, who being humbled by the forfeiture of upward of +three millions by the Revolution, were obliged to stoop to a mechanic +industry. Upon the passing of this bill, we were obliged to dismiss +thousands of these people from our service. Those who had settled their +affairs returned home, and overstocked England with workmen; those whose +debts were unsatisfied went to France, Spain, and the Netherlands, where +they met with good encouragement, whereby the natives, having got a firm +footing in the trade, being acute fellows, soon became as good workmen +as any we have, and supply the foreign manufactories with a constant +recruit of artisans; our island lying much more under pasture than any +in Europe. The foreigners (notwithstanding all the restrictions the +English Parliament has bound us up with) are furnished with the greatest +quantity of our choicest wool. I need not tell you, sir, that a +custom-house oath is held as little sacred here as in England, or that +it is common for masters of vessels to swear themselves bound for one of +the English wool ports, and unload in France or Spain. By this means the +trade in those parts is, in a great measure, destroyed, and we were +obliged to try our hands at finer works, having only our home +consumption to depend upon; and, I can assure you, we have, in several +kinds of narrow goods, even exceeded the English, and I believe we +shall, in a few years more, be able to equal them in broad cloths; but +this you may depend upon, that scarce the tenth part of English goods +are now imported, of what used to be before the famous act. + +The only manufactured wares we are allowed to export, are linen cloth +and linen yarn, which are marketable only in England; the rest of our +commodities are wool, restrained to England, and raw hides, skins, +tallow, beef, and butter. Now, these are things for which the northern +nations have no occasion; we are therefore obliged, instead of carrying +woollen goods to their markets, and bringing home money, to purchase +their commodities. + +In France, Spain, and Portugal, our wares are more valuable, though it +must be owned, our fraudulent trade in wool is the best branch of our +commerce; from hence we get wines, brandy, and fruit, very cheap, and +in great perfection; so that though England has constrained us to be +poor, they have given us leave to be merry. From these countries we +bring home moydores, pistoles, and louisdores, without which we should +scarce have a penny to turn upon. + +To England we are allowed to send nothing but linen cloth, yarn, raw +hides, skins, tallow, and wool. From thence we have coals, for which we +always pay ready money, India goods, English woollen and silks, tobacco, +hardware, earthenware, salt, and several other commodities. Our +exportations to England are very much overbalanced by our importations; +so that the course of exchange is generally too high, and people choose +rather to make their remittances to England in specie, than by a bill, +and our nation is perpetually drained of its little running cash. + +Another cause of the decay of trade, scarcity of money, and swelling of +exchange, is the unnatural affectation of our gentry to reside in and +about London.[104] Their rents are remitted to them, and spent there. +The countryman wants employment from them; the country shopkeeper wants +their custom. For this reason he can't pay his Dublin correspondent +readily, nor take off a great quantity of his wares. Therefore, the +Dublin merchant can't employ the artisan, nor keep up his credit in +foreign markets. + +I have discoursed some of these gentlemen, persons esteemed for good +sense, and demanded a reason for this their so unaccountable +proceeding,--expensive to them for the present, ruinous to their +country, and destructive to the future value of their estates,--and find +all their answers summed up under three heads, curiosity, pleasure, and +loyalty to King George. The two first excuses deserve no answer; let us +try the validity of the third. Would not loyalty be much better +expressed by gentlemen staying in their respective countries, +influencing their dependents by their examples, saving their own wealth, +and letting their neighbours profit by their necessary expenses, thereby +keeping them from misery, and its unavoidable consequence, discontent? +Or is it better to flock to London, be lost in a crowd, kiss the King's +hand, and take a view of the royal family? The seeing of the royal house +may animate their zeal for it; but other advantages I know not. What +employment have any of our gentlemen got by their attendance at Court, +to make up to them their expenses? Why, about forty of them have been +created peers, and a little less than a hundred of them baronets and +knights. For these excellent advantages, thousands of our gentry have +squeezed their tenants, impoverished the trader, and impaired their own +fortunes! + +Another great calamity, is the exorbitant raising of the rents of lands. +Upon the determination of all leases made before the year 1690, a +gentleman thinks he has but indifferently improved his estate if he has +only doubled his rent-roll. Farms are screwed up to a rack-rent, leases +granted but for a small term of years, tenants tied down to hard +conditions, and discouraged from cultivating the lands they occupy to +the best advantage, by the certainty they have of the rent being raised, +on the expiration of their lease, proportionably to the improvements +they shall make. Thus is honest industry restrained; the farmer is a +slave to his landlord; 'tis well if he can cover his family with a +coarse home-spun frieze. The artisan has little dealings with him; yet +he is obliged to take his provisions from him at an extravagant price, +otherwise the farmer cannot pay his rent. + +The proprietors of lands keep great part of them in their own hands for +sheep-pasture; and there are thousands of poor wretches who think +themselves blessed, if they can obtain a hut worse than the squire's +dog-kennel, and an acre of ground for a potato-plantation, on condition +of being as very slaves as any in America. What can be more deplorable, +than to behold wretches starving in the midst of plenty! + +We are apt to charge the Irish with laziness, because we seldom find +them employed; but then we don't consider they have nothing to do. Sir +William Temple, in his excellent remarks on the United Provinces, +inquires why Holland, which has the fewest and worst ports and +commodities of any nation in Europe, should abound in trade, and +Ireland, which has the most and best of both, should have none? This +great man attributes this surprising accident to the natural aversion +man has for labour; who will not be persuaded to toil and fatigue +himself for the superfluities of life throughout the week, when he may +provide himself with all necessary subsistence by the labour of a day or +two. But, with due submission to Sir William's profound judgment, the +want of trade with us is rather owing to the cruel restraints we lie +under, than to any disqualification whatsoever in our inhabitants. + +I have not, sir, for these thirty years past, since I was concerned in +trade, (the greatest part of which time distresses have been flowing in +upon us,) ever observed them to swell so suddenly to such a height as +they have done within these few months. Our present calamities are not +to be represented; you can have no notion of them without beholding +them. Numbers of miserable objects crowd our doors, begging us to take +their wares at any price, to prevent their families from immediate +starving. We cannot part with our money to them, both because we know +not when we shall have vent for their goods; and, as there are no debts +paid, we are afraid of reducing ourselves to their lamentable +circumstances. The dismal time of trade we had during Marr's Troubles in +Scotland, are looked upon as happy days when compared with the +present.[105] + +I need not tell you, sir, that this griping want, this dismal poverty, +this additional woe, must be put to the accursed stocks, which have +desolated our country more effectually than England. Stockjobbing was a +kind of traffic we were utterly unacquainted with. We went late to the +South Sea market, and bore a great share in the losses of it, without +having tasted any of its profits. + +If many in England have been ruined by stocks, some have been advanced. +The English have a free and open trade to repair their losses; but, +above all, a wise, vigilant, and uncorrupted Parliament and ministry, +strenuously endeavouring to restore public trade to its former happy +state. Whilst we, having lost the greatest part of our cash, without any +probability of its returning, must despair of retrieving our losses by +trade, and have before our eyes the dismal prospect of universal poverty +and desolation. + +I believe, sir, you are by this time heartily tired with this indigested +letter, and are firmly persuaded of the truth of what I said in the +beginning of it, that you had much better have imposed this task on some +of our citizens of greater abilities. But perhaps, sir, such a letter as +this may be, for the singularity of it, entertaining to you, who +correspond with the politest and most learned men in Europe. But I am +satisfied you will excuse its want of exactness and perspicuity, when +you consider my education, my being unaccustomed to writings of this +nature, and, above all, those calamitous objects which constantly +surround us, sufficient to disturb the cleanest imagination, and the +soundest judgment. + +Whatever cause I have given you, by this letter, to think worse of my +sense and judgment, I fancy I have given you a manifest proof that I am, +sir, + + Your most obedient humble servant, + + J. S. + + + + +THE SUBSTANCE + +OF WHAT WAS SAID BY + +THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S + +TO + +THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN, + +WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID + +DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX. + + + + + NOTE. + + + It was only proper and fitting that the citizens and freemen of the + City of Dublin should express their sense of the high appreciation + in which they held the writer of the "Drapier's Letters," and the + man who had fought and was still fighting for an alleviation of the + grievances under which their country suffered. The Dublin + Corporation, in 1729, presented Swift with the freedom of the city, + an honour rarely bestowed, and only on men in high position and + power. To Swift the honour was welcome. It was a public act of + justification of what he had done, and it came gratefully to the + man who had at one time been abused and reviled by the people of + the very city which was now honouring him. Furthermore, such a + confirmation of his acts set the seal of public authority which was + desirable, even if not necessary, to a man of Swift's temper. He + could save himself much trouble by merely pointing to the gold box + which was presented to him with the freedom. Even in this last + moment, however, of public recognition, he was not allowed to + receive it without a snarl from one of the crowd of the many + slanderers who found it safer to backbite him. Lord Allen may have + been wrong in his head, or ill-advised, or foolishly over-zealous, + but his ill-tempered upbraiding of the Dublin Corporation for what + he called their treasonable extravagance in thus honouring Swift, + whom he deemed an enemy of the King, was the act of a fool. Swift + was not the man to let the occasion slip by without advantage. In + the substance of what he said to the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of + Dublin in accepting their gift, he replied to the charges made by + Lord Allen, and also issued a special advertisement by way of + defence against what the lord had thought fit to say. + + * * * * * + + Both these pieces are here reprinted; the first from a broadside in + the British Museum, and the second from a manuscript copy in the + Forster Collection at South Kensington. + + [T. S.] + + + + +THE SUBSTANCE OF WHAT WAS SAID BY THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S + +TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDERMEN, WHEN HIS +LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM +IN A GOLD BOX. + + +When his Lordship had said a few words, and presented the instrument, +the Dean gently put it back, and desired first to be heard. He said, "He +was much obliged to his lordship and the city for the honour they were +going to do him, and which, as he was informed, they had long intended +him. That it was true, this honour was mingled with a little +mortification by the delay which attended it, but which, however, he did +not impute to his lordship or the city; and that the mortification was +the less, because he would willingly hope the delay was founded on a +mistake;--for which opinion he would tell his reason." + +He said, "It was well known, that, some time ago, a person with a +title[106] was pleased, in two great assemblies, to rattle bitterly +somebody without a name, under the injurious appellations of a Tory, a +Jacobite, an enemy to King George, and a libeller of the government; +which character," the Dean said that, "many people thought was applied +to him. But he was unwilling to be of that opinion, because the person +who had delivered those abusive words, had, for several years, caressed, +and courted, and solicited his friendship more than any man in either +kingdom had ever done,--by inviting him to his house in town and +country,--by coming to the Deanery often, and calling or sending almost +every day when the Dean was sick,--with many other particulars of the +same nature, which continued even to a day or two of the time when the +said person made those invectives in the council and House of Lords. +Therefore, that the Dean would by no means think those scurrilous words +could be intended against him; because such a proceeding would overthrow +all the principles of honour, justice, religion, truth, and even common +humanity. Therefore the Dean will endeavour to believe, that the said +person had some other object in his thoughts, and it was only the +uncharitable custom of the world that applied this character to him. +However, that he would insist on this argument no longer. But one thing +he would affirm and declare, without assigning any name, or making any +exception, that whoever either did, or does, or shall hereafter, at any +time, charge him with the character of a Jacobite, an enemy to King +George, or a libeller of the government, the said accusation was, is, +and will be, false, malicious, slanderous, and altogether groundless. +And he would take the freedom to tell his lordship, and the rest that +stood by, that he had done more service to the Hanover title, and more +disservice to the Pretender's cause, than forty thousand of those noisy, +railing, malicious, empty zealots, to whom nature hath denied any talent +that could be of use to God or their country, and left them only the +gift of reviling, and spitting their venom, against all who differ from +them in their destructive principles, both in church and state. That he +confessed, it was sometimes his misfortune to dislike some things in +public proceedings in both kingdoms, wherein he had often the honour to +agree with wise and good men; but this did by no means affect either his +loyalty to his prince, or love to his country. But, on the contrary, he +protested, that such dislikes never arose in him from any other +principles than the duty he owed to the king, and his affection to the +kingdom. That he had been acquainted with courts and ministers long +enough, and knew too well that the best ministers might mistake in +points of great importance; and that he had the honour to know many more +able, and at least full as honest, as any can be at present." + +The Dean further said, "That since he had been so falsely represented, +he thought it became him to give some account of himself for about +twenty years, if it were only to justify his lordship and the city for +the honour they were going to do him." He related briefly, how, "merely +by his own personal credit, without other assistance, and in two +journeys at his own expense, he had procured a grant of the first-fruits +to the clergy, in the late Queen's time, for which he thought he +deserved some gentle treatment from his brethren.[107] That, during all +the administration of the said ministry, he had been a constant advocate +for those who are called the Whigs,--and kept many of them in their +employments both in England and here,--and some who were afterwards the +first to lift up their heels against him." He reflected a little upon +the severe treatment he had met with upon his return to Ireland after +her Majesty's death, and for some years after. "That being forced to +live retired, he could think of no better way to do public service, than +by employing all the little money he could save, and lending it, without +interest, in small sums to poor industrious tradesmen, without examining +their party or their faith. And God had so far pleased to bless his +endeavours, that his managers tell him he hath recovered above two +hundred families in this city from ruin, and placed most of them in a +comfortable way of life." + +The Dean related, how much he had suffered in his purse, and with what +hazard to his liberty, by a most iniquitous judge[108]; who, to gratify +his ambition and rage of party, had condemned an innocent book, written +with no worse a design, than to persuade the people of this kingdom to +wear their own manufactures.[109] How the said judge had endeavoured to +get a jury to his mind; but they proved so honest, that he was forced to +keep them eleven hours, and send them back nine times; until, at last, +they were compelled to leave the printer[110] to the mercy of the court, +and the Dean was forced to procure a _noli prosequi_ from a noble +person, then secretary of state, who had been his old friend. + +The Dean then freely confessed himself to be the author of those books +called "The Drapier's Letters;" spoke gently of the proclamation, +offering three hundred pounds to discover the writer.[111] He said, +"That although a certain person was pleased to mention those books in a +slight manner at a public assembly, yet he (the Dean) had learned to +believe, that there were ten thousand to one in the kingdom who differed +from that person; and the people of England, who had ever heard of the +matter, as well as in France, were all of the same opinion." + +The Dean mentioned several other particulars, some of which those from +whom I had the account could not recollect; and others, although of +great consequence, perhaps his enemies would not allow him. + +The Dean concluded, with acknowledging to have expressed his wishes, +that an inscription might have been graven on the box, shewing some +reason why the city thought fit to do him that honour, which was much +out of the common forms to a person in a private station;--those +distinctions being usually made only to chief governors, or persons in +very high employments. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT, + +IN HIS + +DEFENCE AGAINST JOSHUA, LORD ALLEN, + +_Feb. 18, 1729._ + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT BY DR. SWIFT, IN HIS DEFENCE AGAINST JOSHUA, LORD +ALLEN.[112] + + +"Whereas Dr. Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin, hath been +credibly informed, that, on Friday the 13th of this instant February, a +certain person did, in a public place, and in the hearing of a great +number, apply himself to the Right Honourable the Lord Mayor of this +city, and some of his brethren, in the following reproachful manner: 'My +lord, you and your city can squander away the public money, in giving a +gold box to a fellow who hath libelled the government!' or words to that +effect. + +"Now, if the said words, or words to the like effect, were intended +against him the said Dean, and as a reflection on the Right Hon. the +Lord Mayor, aldermen, and commons, for their decreeing unanimously, and +in full assembly, the freedom of this city to the said Dean, in an +honourable manner, on account of an opinion they had conceived of some +services done by him the said Dean to this city, and to the kingdom in +general,--the said Dean doth declare, That the said words, or words to +the like effect, are insolent, false, scandalous, malicious, and, in a +particular manner, perfidious; the said person, who is reported to have +spoken the said or the like words, having, for some years past, and even +within some few days, professed a great friendship for the said Dean; +and, what is hardly credible, sending a common friend of the Dean and +himself, not many hours after the said or the like words had been +spoken, to renew his profession of friendship to the said Dean, but +concealing the oratory; whereof the said Dean had no account till the +following day, and then told it to all his friends." + + + + +A + +LETTER + +ON + +MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, + +AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED. + +WRITTEN IN 1729. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The matter of this tract explains itself. M'Culla's project was to + put in circulation notes stamped on copper to supply the deficiency + in copper coins which Wood attempted. Swift, apparently, took a + mild tone towards M'Culla's plan, but thought that M'Culla would + make too much out of it for himself. He made a counter proposal + which is fully entered into here. Nothing came either of M'Culla's + proposal or Swift's counter-suggestion. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the + edition of 1765, and compared with that of Faulkner's edition of + 1772. Faulkner's edition differs in many details from that given by + Scott. The first sheet only of the original autograph manuscript is + in the Forster Collection at South Kensington. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, AND A NEW ONE +PROPOSED. + + + SIR, + +You desire to know my opinion concerning Mr. M'Culla's project, of +circulating notes stamped on copper, that shall pass for the value of +halfpence and pence. I have some knowledge of the man; and about a month +ago he brought me his book, with a couple of his halfpenny notes: but I +was then out of order, and he could not be admitted. Since that time I +called at his house; where I discoursed, the whole affair with him as +thoroughly as I could. I am altogether a stranger to his character. He +talked to me in the usual style, with a great profession of zeal for the +public good, which is the common cant of all projectors in their Bills, +from a First Minister of State down to a corn-cutter. But I stopped him +short, as I would have done a better man; because it is too gross a +pretence to pass at any time, and especially in this age, where we all +know one another so well. Yet, whoever proposeth any scheme which may +prove to be a public benefit, I shall not quarrel if it prove likewise +very beneficial to the contriver. It is certain, that next to the want +of silver, our greatest distress in point of coin is the want of small +change, which may be some poor relief for the defect of the former, +since the Crown will not please to take that work upon them here as they +do in England. One thing in Mr. M'Culla's book is certainly right, that +no law hinders me from giving a payable note upon leather, wood, copper, +brass, iron, or any other material (except gold and silver) as well as +upon paper. The question is, whether I can sue him on a copper bond, +when there is neither his hand nor seal, nor witnesses to prove it? To +supply this, he hath proposed, that the materials upon which his note is +written, shall be in some degree of value equal to the debt. But that is +one principal matter to be enquired into. His scheme is this: + +He gives you a piece of copper for a halfpenny or penny, stamped with a +promissory note to pay you twentypence for every pound of the said +copper notes, whenever you shall return them. Eight and forty of the +halfpenny pieces are to weigh a pound, and he sells you that pound +coined and stamped for two shillings: by which he clearly gains a little +more than sixteen _per cent._; that is to say, twopence in every +shilling. This will certainly arise to a great sum, if he should +circulate as large a quantity of his notes, as the kingdom, under the +great dearth of silver, may very probably require: enough indeed to make +any Irish tradesman's fortune; which, however, I should not repine at in +the least, if we could be sure of his fair-dealing. + +It was obvious for me to raise the common objection, why Mr. M'Culla +would not give security to pay the whole sum to any man who returned him +his copper notes, as my Lord Dartmouth and Colonel Moor were, by their +patents, obliged to do.[113] To which he gave some answers plausible +enough. First, "He conceived that his coins were much nearer to the +intrinsic value than any of those coined by patents, the bulk and +goodness of the metal fully equalling the best English halfpence made by +the crown: That he apprehended the ill-will of envious and designing +people, who, if they found him to have a great vent for his notes, since +he wanted the protection of a patent, might make a run upon him, which +he could not be able to support: And lastly, that his copper, (as is +already said,) being equal in value and bulk to the English halfpence, +he did not apprehend they should ever be returned, unless a combination, +proceeding from spite and envy, might be formed against him." + +But there are some points in his proposals which I cannot well answer +for; nor do I know whether he would be able to do it himself. The first +is, whether the copper he gives us will be as good as what the crown +provided for the English halfpence and farthings; and, secondly, whether +he will always continue to give us as good; and, thirdly, when he will +think fit to stop his hand, and give us no more; for I should be as +sorry to lie at the mercy of Mr. M'Culla, as of Mr. Wood. + +There is another difficulty of the last importance. It is known enough +that the Crown is supposed to be neither gainer nor loser by the coinage +of any metal; for they subtract, or ought to subtract, no more from the +intrinsic value than what will just pay all the charges of the mint; and +how much that will amount to, is the question. By what I could gather +from Mr. M'Culla, good copper is worth fourteenpence per pound. By this +computation, if he sells his copper notes for two shillings the pound, +and will pay twentypence back, then the expense of coinage for one pound +of copper must be sixpence, which is thirty per cent. The world should +be particularly satisfied on this article before he vends his notes; for +the discount of thirty per cent. is prodigious, and vastly more than I +can conceive it ought to be. For, if we add to that proportion the +sixteen per cent. which he avows to keep for his own profit, there will +be a discount of about forty-six per cent. Or, to reckon, I think, a +fairer way: Whoever buys a pound of Mr. M'Culla's coin, at two shillings +per pound, carries home only the real value of fourteenpence, which is a +pound of copper; and thus he is a loser of _41l. 13s. 4d._ per +cent.[114] But, however, this high discount of thirty per cent. will be +no objection against M'Culla's proposals; because, if the charge of +coinage will honestly amount to so much, and we suppose his copper notes +may be returned upon him, he will be the greater sufferer of the two; +because the buyer can lose but fourpence in the pound, and M'Culla must +lose sixpence, which was the charge of the coinage.[115] + +Upon the whole, there are some points which must be settled to the +general satisfaction, before we can safely take Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes for value received; and how he will give that satisfaction, is not +within my knowledge or conjecture. The first point is, that we shall be +always sure of receiving good copper, equal in bulk and fineness to the +best English halfpence. + +The second point is, to know what allowance he makes to himself, either +out of the weight or mixture of his copper, or both, for the charge of +his coinage. As to the weight, the matter is easy by his own scheme; +for, as I have said before, he proposes forty-eight to weigh a pound, +which he gives you for two shillings, and receives it by the pound at +twentypence: so that, supposing pure copper to be fourteenpence a pound, +he makes you pay thirty per cent. for the labour of coining, as I have +already observed, besides sixteen per cent. when he sells it. But if to +this he adds any alloy, to debase the metal, although it be not above +ten per cent.; then Mr. M'Culla's promissory notes will, as to the +intrinsic value of the metal, be above forty-seven per cent. discount. + +For, subtracting ten per cent. off sixty pound's worth of copper, it +will (to avoid fractions) be about five and a half per cent. in the +whole _100l._, which, added to + + 41 13 4 + 5 10 0 + ------- + will be per cent. 47 3 4 + +That we are under great distress for change, and that Mr. M'Culla's +copper notes, on supposition of the metal being pure, is less liable to +objection than the project of Wood, may be granted: but such a discount, +where we are not sure even of our twentypence a pound, appears hitherto +a dead weight on his scheme. + +Since I writ this, calling to mind that I had some copper halfpence by +me, I weighed them with those of Mr. M'Culla, and observed as follows: + +First, I weighed Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny against an English one of King +Charles II., which outweighed Mr. M'Culla's a fourth part, or +twenty-five per cent. + +I likewise weighed an Irish Patrick and David halfpenny, which +outweighed Mr. M'Culla's twelve and a half per cent. It had a very fair +and deep impression, and milled very skilfully round. + +I found that even a common halfpenny, well-preserved, weighed equal to +Mr. M'Culla's. And even some of Wood's halfpence were near equal in +weight to his. Therefore, if it be true that he does not think Wood's +copper to have been faulty, he may probably give us no better. + +I have laid these loose thoughts together with little order, to give +you, and others who may read them, an opportunity of digesting them +better. I am no enemy to Mr. M'Culla's project; but I would have it put +upon a better foot. I own that this halfpenny of King Charles II., which +I weighed against Mr. M'Culla's, was of the fairest kind I had seen. +However, it is plain the Crown could afford it without being a +loser.[116] But it is probable that the officers of the mint were then +more honest than they have since thought fit to be; for I confess not to +have met those of any other year so weighty, or in appearance of so good +metal, among all the copper coins of the three last reigns; yet these, +however, did much outweigh those of Mr. M'Culla; for I have tried the +experiment on a hundred of them. I have indeed seen accidentally one or +two very light; but it must certainly have been done by chance, or +rather I suppose them to be counterfeits. Be that as it will, it is +allowed on all hands, that good copper was never known to be cheaper +than it is at present. I am ignorant of the price, further than by his +informing me that it is only fourteenpence a pound; by which, I observe, +he charges the coinage at thirty per cent.; and therefore I cannot but +think his demands are exorbitant. But, to say the truth, the dearness or +cheapness of the metal do not properly enter into the question. What we +desire is, that it should be of the best kind, and as weighty as can be +afforded; that the profit of the contriver should be reduced from +sixteen to eight per cent.; and the charge of coinage, if possible, from +thirty to ten, or fifteen at most. + +Mr. M'Culla must also give good security that he will coin only a +determinate sum, not exceeding twenty thousand pounds; by which, +although he should deal with all uprightness imaginable, and make his +coin as good as that I weighed of King Charles II., he will, at sixteen +per cent., gain three thousand two hundred pounds; a very good +additional job to a private tradesman's fortune! + +I must advise him also to employ better workmen, and make his +impressions deeper and plainer; by which a rising rim may be left about +the edge of his coin, to preserve the letter from wearing out too soon. +He hath no wardens nor masters, or other officers of the mint, to suck +up his profit; and therefore can afford to coin cheaper than the Crown, +if he will but find good materials, proper implements, and skilful +workmen. + +Whether this project will succeed in Mr. M'Culla's hands, (which, if it +be honestly executed, I should be glad to see,) one thing I am confident +of, that it might be easily brought to perfection by a society of nine +or ten honest gentlemen of fortune, who wish well to their country, and +would be content to be neither gainers nor losers, further than the bare +interest of their money. And Mr. M'Culla, as being the first starter of +the scheme, might be considered and rewarded by such a society; whereof, +although I am not a man of fortune, I should think it an honour and +happiness to be one, even with borrowed money upon the best security I +could give. And, first, I am confident, without any skill, but by +general reason, that the charge of coining copper would be very much +less than thirty per cent. Secondly, I believe ten thousand pounds, in +halfpence and farthings, would be sufficient for the whole kingdom, even +under our great and most unnecessary distress for the want of silver; +and that, without such a distress, half the sum would suffice. For, I +compute and reason thus: the city of Dublin, by a gross computation, +contains ten thousand families; and I am told by shopkeepers, "That if +silver were as plenty as usual, two shillings in copper would be +sufficient, in the course of business, for each family." But, in +consideration of the want of silver, I would allow five shillings to +each family, which would amount to _2,500l._; and, to help this, I would +recommend a currency of all the genuine undefaced harp-halfpence, which +are left, of Lord Dartmouth's and Moor's patents under King Charles II.; +and the small Patrick and David for farthings. To the rest of the +kingdom, I would assign the _7,50l._ remaining; reckoning Dublin to +answer one-fourth of the kingdom, as London is judged to answer (if I +mistake not) one-third of England; I mean in the view of money only. + +To compute our want of small change by the number of souls in the +kingdom, besides being perplexed, is, I think, by no means just. They +have been reckoned at a million and a half; whereof a million at least +are beggars in all circumstances, except that of wandering about for +alms; and that circumstance may arrive soon enough, when it will be time +to add another ten thousand pounds in copper. But, without doubt, the +families of Ireland, who lie chiefly under the difficulties of wanting +small change, cannot be above forty or fifty thousand, which the sum of +ten thousand pounds, with the addition of the fairest old halfpence, +would tolerably supply; for, if we give too great a loose to any +projector to pour in upon us what he pleases, the kingdom will be, (how +shall I express it under our present circumstances?) more than undone. + +And hence appears, in a very strong light, the villainy of Wood, who +proposed the coinage of one hundred and eight thousand pounds in copper, +for the use of Ireland; whereby every family in the kingdom would be +loaden with ten or a dozen shillings, although Wood might not transgress +the bounds of his patent, and although no counterfeits, either at home +or abroad, were added to the number; the contrary to both which would +indubitably have arrived. So ill informed are great men on the other +side, who talk of a million with as little ceremony as we do of +half-a-crown! + +But to return to the proposal I have made: Suppose ten gentlemen, lovers +of their country, should raise _200l._ a-piece; and, from the time the +money is deposited as they shall agree, should begin to charge it with +seven per cent. for their own use; that they should, as soon as +possible, provide a mint and good workmen, and buy copper sufficient for +coining two thousand pounds, subtracting a fifth part of the interest of +ten thousand pounds for the charges of the tools, and fitting up a place +for a mint; the other four parts of the same interest to be subtracted +equally out of the four remaining coinages of _2,000l._ each, with a +just allowance for other necessary incidents. Let the charge of coinage +be fairly reckoned, and the kingdom informed of it, as well as of the +price of copper. Let the coin be as well and deeply stamped as it ought. +Let the metal be as pure as can consist to have it rightly coined, +(wherein I am wholly ignorant,) and the bulk as large as that of King +Charles II. And let this club of ten gentlemen give their joint security +to receive all the coins they issue out for seven or ten years, and +return gold and silver without any defalcation. + +Let the same club, or company, when they have issued out the first two +thousand pounds, go on the second year, if they find a demand, and that +their scheme hath answered to their own intention, as well as to the +satisfaction of the public. And, if they find seven per cent. not +sufficient, let them subtract eight, beyond which I would not have them +go. And when they have in five years coined ten thousand pounds, let +them give public notice that they will proceed no further, but shut up +their mint, and dismiss their workmen; unless the real, universal, +unsolicited, declaration of the nobility and gentry of the kingdom shall +signify a desire that they shall go on for a certain sum farther. + +This company may enter into certain regulations among themselves; one of +which should be, to keep nothing concealed, and duly to give an account +to the world of their whole methods of acting. + +Give me leave to compute, wholly at random, what charge the kingdom will +be at, by the loss of intrinsic value in the coinage of _10,000l._ in +copper, under the management of such a society of gentlemen. + +First, It is plain that instead of somewhat more than sixteen per cent. +as demanded by Mr. M'Culla, this society desires but eight per cent. + +Secondly, Whereas Mr. M'Culla charges the expense of coinage at thirty +per cent., I hope and believe this society will be able to perform it at +ten. + +Thirdly, Whereas it doth not appear that Mr. M'Culla can give any +security for the goodness of his copper, because not one in ten thousand +have the skill to distinguish, the society will be all engaged that +theirs shall be of the best standard. + +Fourthly, That whereas Mr. M'Culla's halfpence are one-fourth part +lighter than that kind coined in the time of King Charles II., these +gentlemen will oblige themselves to the public, to give their coin of +the same weight and goodness with those halfpence, unless they shall +find they cannot afford it; and, in that case, they shall beforehand +inform the public, show their reasons, and signify how large they can +make them without being losers; and so give over or pursue their scheme, +as they find the opinion of the world to be. However, I do not doubt but +they can afford them as large, and of as good metal, as the best English +halfpence that have been coined in the three last reigns, which very +much outweighed those of Mr. M'Culla. And this advantage will arise in +proportion, by lessening the charge of coinage from thirty per cent. to +ten or fifteen, or twenty at most. But I confess myself in the dark on +that article; only I think it impossible it should amount to any +proportion near thirty per cent.; otherwise the coiners of those +counterfeit halfpence called raps[117] would have little encouragement +to follow their trade. + +But the indubitable advantages, by having the management in such a +society, would be the paying eight per cent. instead of sixteen, the +being sure of the goodness and just weight of the coin, and the period +to be put to any further coinage than what was absolutely necessary to +supply the wants and desires of the kingdom; and all this under the +security of ten gentlemen of credit and fortune, who would be ready to +give the best security and satisfaction, that they had no design to turn +the scheme into a job. + +As to any mistakes I have made in computation, they are of little +moment; and I shall not descend so low as to justify them against any +caviller. + +The strongest objection against what I offer, and which perhaps may make +it appear visionary, is the difficulty to find half a score gentlemen, +who, out of a public spirit, will be at the trouble, for no more profit +than one per cent. above the legal interest, to be overseers of a mint +for five years; and perhaps, without any justice, raise the clamour of +the people against them. Besides, it is most certain that many a squire +is as fond of a job, and as dexterous to make the best of it, as Mr. +M'Culla himself, or any of his level. + +However, I do not doubt but there may be ten such persons in this town, +if they had only some visible mark to know them at sight. Yet I just +foresee another inconveniency; That knavish men are fitter to deal with +others of their own denomination; while those who are honest and +best-intentioned may be the instruments of as much mischief to the +public, for want of cunning, as the greatest knaves; and more, because +of the charitable opinion which they are apt to have of others. +Therefore, how to join the prudence of the serpent with the innocency of +the dove, in this affair, is the most difficult point. It is not so hard +to find an honest man, as to make this honest man active, and vigilant, +and skilful; which, I doubt, will require a spur of profit greater than +my scheme will afford him, unless he will be contented with the honour +of serving his country, and the reward of a good conscience. + +After reviewing what I had written, I see very well that I have not +given any allowance for the first charge of preparing all things +necessary for coining, which, I am told, will amount to about _200l._ +besides _20l._ per annum for five years rent of a house to work in. I +can only say, that, this making in all _300l._, it will be an addition +of no more than three per cent. out of _10,000l._ + +But the great advantages to the public, by having the coinage placed in +the hands of ten gentlemen such as I have already described, (if such +are to be found,) are these:-- + +First, They propose no other gain to themselves than one per cent. above +the legal interest for the money they advance; which will hardly afford +them coffee when they meet at their mint-house. + +Secondly, They bind themselves to make their coins of as good copper as +the best English halfpence, and as well coined, and of equal weight; and +do likewise bind themselves to charge the public with not one farthing +for the expense of coinage, more than it shall really stand them in. + +Thirdly, They will, for a limited term of seven or ten years, as shall +be thought proper upon mature consideration, pay gold and silver, +without any defalcation, for all their own coin that shall be returned +upon their hands. + +Fourthly, They will take care that the coins shall have a deep +impression, leaving a rising rim on both sides, to prevent being +defaced in a long time; and the edges shall be milled. + +I suppose they need not be very apprehensive of counterfeits, which it +will be difficult to make so as not to be discovered; for it is plain +that those bad halfpence called raps are so easily distinguished, even +from the most worn genuine halfpenny, that nobody will now take them for +a farthing, although under the great present want of change. + +I shall here subjoin some computations relating to Mr. M'Culla's copper +notes. They were sent to me by a person well skilled in such +calculations; and therefore I refer them to the reader.[118] + +Mr. M'Culla charges good copper at fourteenpence per pound: but I know +not whether he means avoirdupois or troy weight. + + Avoirdupois is sixteen ounces to a pound, 6960 grains. + A pound troy weight, 5760 grains. + Mr. M'Culla's copper is fourteenpence per pound avoirdupois. + Two of Mr. M'Culla's penny notes, one with another, weigh 524 grains. + By which computation, two shillings of his notes, which he + sells for one pound weight, will weigh 6288 grains. + But one pound avoirdupois weighs, as above, 6960 grains. + This difference makes 10 per cent. + to Mr. M'Culla's profit, in point of weight. + The old Patrick and David halfpenny weighs 149 grains. + Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. + ------ + The difference is 18 + + Which is equal to 10-1/2 per cent. + The English halfpenny of King Charles II. weighs 167 grains. + M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. + ------ + The difference 36 + + Which difference, allowed a fifth part, is 20 per cent. + + +ANOTHER COMPUTATION. + +Mr. M'Culla allows his pound of copper (coinage included) to be worth +twentypence; for which he demands two shillings. + + His coinage he computes at sixpence per pound weight; therefore, + he laying out only twentypence, and gaining fourpence, + he makes per cent. profit, 20 + The sixpence per pound weight, allowed for coinage, + makes per cent. 30 + The want of weight in his halfpenny, compared as above, + is per cent. 10 + By all which (viz. coinage, profit, and want of weight) + --the public loses per cent. 60 + +If Mr. M'Culla's coins will not pass, and he refuses to receive them +back, the owner cannot sell them at above twelvepence per pound weight; +whereby, with the defect of weight of 10 per cent., he will lose 60 per +cent. + +The scheme of the society, raised as high as it can possibly be, will be +only thus: + + For interest of their money, per cent. 8 + For coinage, instead of 10, suppose at most per cent. 20 + For _l.300_ laid out for tools, a mint, and house-rent, + charge 3 per cent. upon the coinage of _l.10,000_, 3 + ---- + Charges in all upon interest, coinage, &c. per cent., 31 + +Which, with all the advantages above-mentioned, of the goodness of the +metal, the largeness of the coin, the deepness and fairness of the +impression, the assurance of the society confining itself to such a sum +as they undertake, or as the kingdom shall approve; and lastly, their +paying in gold or silver for all their coin returned upon their hands +without any defalcation, would be of mighty benefit to the kingdom; and, +with a little steadiness and activity, could, I doubt not, be easily +compassed. + +I would not in this scheme recommend the method of promissory notes, +after Mr. M'Culla's manner; but, as I have seen in old Irish coins, the +words CIVITAS DVBLIN, on one side, with the year of our Lord +and the Irish harp on the reverse. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +THAT + +ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND + +SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN + +IRISH MANUFACTURES. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The arguments advanced in this tract are practically repetitions of + those already given in previous pieces. Swift laid much stress on + the people buying and wearing goods made in Ireland, since in that + way the money would remain in the country. In this little tract he + winds up with a special appeal to the women of Ireland. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that of the quarto edition (vol. + viii.) of 1765, and compared with Faulkner's of 1772. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND SHOULD APPEAR +CONSTANTLY IN IRISH MANUFACTURES. + + +There was a treatise written about nine years ago, to persuade the +people of Ireland to wear their own manufactures.[119] This treatise was +allowed to have not one syllable in it of party or disaffection; but was +wholly founded upon the growing poverty of the nation, occasioned by the +utter want of trade in every branch, except that ruinous importation of +all foreign extravagancies from other countries. This treatise was +presented, by the grand jury of the city and county of Dublin, as a +scandalous, seditious, and factious pamphlet. I forget who was the +foreman of the city grand jury; but the foreman for the county was one +Doctor Seal, register to the Archbishop of Dublin, wherein he differed +much from the sentiments of his lord.[120] The printer[121] was tried +before the late Mr. Whitshed, that famous Lord chief-justice; who, on +the bench, laying his hand on his heart, declared, upon his salvation, +that the author was a Jacobite, and had a design to beget a quarrel +between the two nations.[122] In the midst of this prosecution, about +fifteen hundred weavers were forced to beg their bread, and had a +general contribution made for their relief, which just served to make +them drunk for a week; and then they were forced to turn rogues, or +strolling beggars, or to leave the kingdom. + +The Duke of Grafton,[123] who was then Lieutenant, being perfectly +ashamed of so infamous and unpopular a proceeding, obtained from England +a _noli prosequi_ for the printer. Yet the grand jury had solemn thanks +given them from the Secretary of State. + +I mention this passage (perhaps too much forgotten,) to shew how +dangerous it hath been for the best meaning person to write one syllable +in the defence of his country, or discover the miserable condition it is +in. + +And to prove this truth, I will produce one instance more; wholly +omitting the famous case of the Drapier, and the proclamation against +him, as well as the perverseness of another jury against the same Mr. +Whitshed, who was violently bent to act the second part in another +scene.[124] + +About two years ago, there was a small paper printed, which was called, +"A Short View of the State of Ireland," relating the several causes +whereby any country may grow rich, and applying them to Ireland.[125] +Whitshed was dead, and consequently the printer was not troubled. Mist, +the famous journalist, happened to reprint this paper in London, for +which his press-folks were prosecuted for almost a twelve-month; and, +for aught I know, are not yet discharged.[126] + +This is our case; insomuch, that although I am often without money in my +pocket, I dare not own it in some company, for fear of being thought +disaffected. + +But, since I am determined to take care that the author of this paper +shall not be discovered (following herein the most prudent practice of +the Drapier,) I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein +our corn hath miscarried, did no more contribute to our present misery, +than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would +contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, +although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore +us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which +might indeed warm his fur coat, but never bring him back to life. + +The short of the matter is this: The distresses of the kingdom are +operating more and more every day, by very large degrees, and so have +been doing for above a dozen years past. + +If you demand from whence these distresses have arisen, I desire to ask +the following question: + +If two-thirds of any kingdom's revenue be exported to another country, +without one farthing of value in return; and if the said kingdom be +forbidden the most profitable branches of trade wherein to employ the +other third, and only allowed to traffic in importing those commodities +which are most ruinous to itself[127]; how shall that kingdom stand? + +If this question were formed into the first proposition of an +hypothetical syllogism, I defy the man born in Ireland, who is now in +the fairest way of getting a collectorship, or a cornet's post, to give +a good reason for denying it. + +Let me put another case. Suppose a gentleman's estate of two hundred +pounds a year should sink to one hundred, by some accident, whether by +an earthquake, or inundation, it matters not: and suppose the said +gentleman utterly hopeless and unqualified ever to retrieve the loss; +how is he otherwise to proceed in his future economy, than by reducing +it on every article to one half less, unless he will be content to fly +his country, or rot in jail? This is a representation of Ireland's +condition; only with one fault, that it is a little too favourable. +Neither am I able to propose a full remedy for this, that shall ever be +granted, but only a small prolongation of life, until God shall +miraculously dispose the hearts of our neighbours, our kinsmen, our +fellow-protestants, fellow-subjects, and fellow rational creatures, to +permit us to starve without running further in debt. I am informed that +our national debt (and God knows how we wretches came by that +fashionable thing a national debt) is about two hundred and fifty +thousand pounds; which is at least one-third of the whole kingdom's +rents, after our absentees and other foreign drains are paid, and about +fifty thousand pounds more than all the cash. + +It seems there are several schemes for raising a fund to pay the +interest of this formidable sum (not the principal, for this is allowed +impossible). The necessity of raising such a fund, is strongly and +regularly pleaded, from the late deficiencies in the duties and customs. +And is it the fault of Ireland that these funds are deficient? If they +depend on trade, can it possibly be otherwise, while we have neither +liberty to trade, nor money to trade with; neither hands to work, nor +business to employ them, if we had? Our diseases are visible enough both +in their causes and effects; and the cures are well known, but +impossible to be applied. + +If my steward comes and tells me, that my rents are sunk so low, that +they are very little more than sufficient to pay my servants their +wages; have I any other course left than to cashier four in six of my +rascally footmen, and a number of other varlets in my family, of whose +insolence the whole neighbourhood complains? And I should think it +extremely severe in any law, to force me to maintain a household of +fifty servants, and fix their wages, before I had offered my rent-roll +upon oath to the legislators. + +To return from digressing: I am told one scheme for raising a fund to +pay the interest of our national debt, is, by a further duty of forty +shillings a tun upon wine. Some gentlemen would carry this matter much +further, by raising it to twelve pounds; which, in a manner, would +amount to a prohibition: thus weakly arguing from the practice of +England. + +I have often taken notice, both in print and in discourse, that there is +no topic so fallacious, either in talk or in writing, as to argue how we +ought to act in Ireland, from the example of England, Holland, France, +or any other country, whose inhabitants are allowed the common rights +and liberties of humankind. I could undertake to name six or seven of +the most uncontrolled maxims in government, which are utterly false in +this kingdom. + +As to the additional duty on wine, I think any person may deliver his +opinion upon it, until it shall have passed into a law; and till then, I +declare mine to be positively against it. + +First, Because there is no nation yet known, in either hemisphere, where +the people of all conditions are more in want of some cordial to keep up +their spirits, than in this of ours. I am not in jest; and if the fact +will not be allowed me, I shall not argue it. + +Secondly, It is too well and generally known, that this tax of forty +shillings additional on every tun of wine, (which will be double, at +least, to the home consumer) will increase equally every new session of +Parliament, until, perhaps, it comes to twelve pounds. + +Thirdly, Because, as the merchants inform me, and as I have known many +the like instances in England, this additional tax will more probably +lessen this branch of the revenue, than increase it. And therefore Sir +John Stanley, a commissioner of the customs in England, used to say, +that the House of Commons were generally mistaken in matters of trade, +by an erroneous opinion that two and two make four. Thus, if you should +lay an additional duty of one penny a pound on raisins or sugar, the +revenue, instead of rising, would certainly sink; and the consequence +would only be, to lessen the number of plum-puddings, and ruin the +confectioner. + +Fourthly, I am likewise assured by merchants, that upon this additional +forty shillings, the French will at least equally raise their duties +upon all commodities we export thither. + +Fifthly, If an original extract of the exports and imports be true, we +have been gainers, upon the balance, by our trade with France, for +several years past; and, although our gain amounts to no great sum, we +ought to be satisfied, since we are no losers, with the only consolation +we are capable of receiving. + +Lastly, The worst consequence is behind. If we raise the duty on wine to +a considerable height, we lose the only hold we have of keeping among us +the few gentlemen of any tolerable estates. I am confident there is +hardly a gentleman of eight hundred pounds a year and upwards, in this +kingdom, who would balance half an hour to consider whether he should +live here or in England, if a family could be as cheaply maintained in +the one as the other. As to eatables, they are as cheap in many fine +counties of England, as in some very indifferent ones here; or, if there +be any difference, that vein of thrift and prudence in economy, which +passes there without reproach, (and chiefly in London itself,) would +amply make up the difference. But the article of French wine is hardly +tolerable, in any degree of plenty, to a middling fortune; and this is +it, which, by growing habitual, wholly turns the scale with those few +landed men, disengaged from employments, who content themselves to live +hospitably with plenty of good wine in their own country, rather than in +penury and obscurity in another, with bad, or with none at all. + +Having, therefore, as far as in me lies, abolished this additional duty +upon wine; for I am not under the least concern about paying the +interest of the national debt, but leave it, as in loyalty bound, wholly +to the wisdom of the honourable House of Commons; I come now to consider +by what methods we may be able to put off and delay our utter undoing as +long as it is possible. + +I never have discoursed with any reasonable man upon this subject, who +did not allow that there was no remedy left us, but to lessen the +importation of all unnecessary commodities as much as it was possible; +and likewise either to persuade our absentees to spend their money at +home, which is impossible; or tax them at five shillings in the pound +during their absence, with such allowances, upon necessary occasions, as +it shall be thought convenient: or, by permitting us a free trade, which +is denied to no other nation upon earth. The three last methods are +treated by Mr. Prior, in his most useful treatise, added to his list of +absentees.[128] + +It is to gratify the vanity, and pride, and luxury of the women, and of +the young fops who admire them, that we owe this insupportable +grievance, of bringing in the instruments of our ruin. There is annually +brought over to this kingdom near ninety thousand pounds worth of silk, +whereof the greater part is manufactured. Thirty thousand pounds more is +expended in muslin, holland, cambric, and calico. What the price of lace +amounts to, is not easy to be collected from the custom-house book, +being a kind of goods that takes up little room, and is easily run; but, +considering the prodigious price of a woman's head-dress, at ten, +twelve, twenty pounds a yard, must be very great. The tea, rated at +seven shillings per pound, comes to near twelve thousand pounds; but, +considering it as the common luxury of every chambermaid, sempstress, +and tradesman's wife, both in town and country, however they come by it, +must needs cost the kingdom double that sum. Coffee is somewhere above +seven thousand pounds. I have seen no account of the chocolate, and some +other Indian or American goods. The drapery imported is about +four-and-twenty thousand pounds. The whole amounts (with one or two +other particulars) to one hundred and fifty thousand pounds. The +lavishing of all which money is just as prudent and necessary, as to see +a man in an embroidered coat, begging out of Newgate in an old shoe. + +I allow that the thrown and raw silk is less pernicious, because we have +some share in the manufacture: but we are not now in circumstances to +trifle. It costs us above forty thousand pounds a-year; and if the +ladies, till better times, will not be content to go in their own +country shifts, I wish they may go in rags. + +Let them vie with each other in the fineness of their native linen: +their beauty and gentleness will as well appear, as if they were covered +over with diamonds and brocade. + +I believe no man is so weak, as to hope or expect that such a +reformation can be brought about by a law. But a thorough hearty, +unanimous vote, in both houses of Parliament, might perhaps answer as +well: every senator, noble or plebeian, giving his honour, that neither +himself, nor any of his family, would, in their dress, or furniture of +their houses, make use of anything except what was of the growth and +manufacture of this kingdom; and that they would use the utmost of their +power, influence, and credit, to prevail on their tenants, dependants, +and friends, to follow their example. + + + + +A + +MODEST PROPOSAL + +FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE + +FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS + +OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL + +TO THE PUBLIC. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Perhaps in no literature is there to be found a piece of writing in + any sense comparable to this "Modest Proposal." Written, + apparently, in a light and comic vein, it might deceive the casual + reader into the belief that Swift had achieved a joke. It has the + air of a smiling and indifferent _raconteur_ amusing an + after-dinner table. In truth, however, this piece of writing is a + terrible indictment made by an advocate speaking against the result + of a tyranny of power which, through wicked stupidity or complacent + indifference, had afflicted a people almost to extinction. The + restraint of the writer evinced in this tract, is the more + remarkable, when we remember that he was Ireland's foremost + patriot, that he had been her champion for liberty and + independence, and that an indignation filled him at all times, + lacerating his heart, against the cruelty and oppression and + wretchedness of humanity generally. Here, he sits down and writes + as calmly as if composing an ordinary sermon, and proposes, in cold + blood, to alleviate the poverty of the Irish people by the sale of + their children as table food for the rich. He even goes into + calculations as to cost of breeding, and shows how a mother might + earn eight shillings a year on each child, by disposing of its + carcass for ten shillings. Of the million and a half people who + inhabit the country, he assumes that there are 200,000 who beget + children; of these about 30,000 are able to provide for their + offspring, but the balance of 170,000 must inevitably become a + burden. What is to become of them? Many schemes have been proposed + to meet their case, but not one of them has answered. Trade and + agriculture gave them no opportunity, since the trade of the + country was almost at a standstill, and land was now either too + dear to keep or too poor to cultivate. At the time of Swift's + writing Ireland had passed through three frightful years of famine. + Corn had become so dear that riots occurred at the ports where what + corn remained was being exported. The land, as Swift wrote to Pope + (August 11th, 1729) was in every place strewn with beggars. The + poor labourer, had work been found for him, was too weak in body to + undertake it. Thousands had already died of starvation and the + diseases consequent on hunger. Those that managed to exist did so + in filth, and dying every day, as Swift wrote on another occasion, + "and rotting, by cold and famine, and filth and vermin." + + No, there was only one way out of the difficulty, and that was to + have these poor people breed children, which they could profitably + dispose of for food. Let them fatten their offspring as best they + could and sell them dead or alive for cooking. The irony of the + proposition may sound appalling to us in this century, but Swift + was not exaggerating the distress of his day. Even Primate Boulter, + who was certainly the last man to overstate an Irish case, sent + such reports as gave the English Government anxiety. To Swift it + was no time for polite speeches and calm proposals. He had already + given them in abundance. Now was the time for something merry and + with laughter: + + "I may storm and rage in vain; + It but stupifies your brain. + But with raillery to nettle, + Set your thoughts upon their mettle." + + It was in this spirit that the "Modest Proposal" was written. Swift + concludes with a final touch by telling us that he has nothing to + gain personally by his suggestion, since his "youngest child is + nine and his wife past child-bearing." + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is that of the original issue + collated with that given by Faulkner. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A MODEST + +PROPOSAL + +For preventing the + +CHILDREN + +OF + +POOR PEOPLE + +From ~being a Burthen~ to + +Their Parents or Country, + +AND + +For making them Beneficial to the + +PUBLICK. + + * * * * * + +By Dr. Swift. + + * * * * * + +_Dublin_, Printed by _S. Harding_: + +_London_, Reprinted; and sold by _J. Roberts_ in _Warwick-lane_, and +the Pamphlet-Shops. + +M.DCC.XXIX. + + + + +A MODEST PROPOSAL + +FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR +PARENTS OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO THE PUBLIC. + + +It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or +travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and +cabin-doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, +four, or six children, _all in rags_, and importuning every passenger +for an alms. These mothers instead of being able to work for their +honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling, to +beg sustenance for their helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either +turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear Native Country to +fight for the Pretender in Spain,[129] or sell themselves to the +Barbadoes. + +I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of +children, in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their +mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable +state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and therefore +whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these +children sound useful members of the commonwealth would deserve so well +of the public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the +nation. + +But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for +the children of professed beggars, it is of a much greater extent, and +shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born +of parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand +our charity in the streets. + +As to my own part, having turned my thoughts, for many years, upon this +important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other +projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their +computation. It is true a child, just dropped from its dam, may be +supported by her milk for a solar year with little other nourishment, at +most not above the value of two shillings, which the mother may +certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of +begging, and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for +them, in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their +parents, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of +their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding and +partly to the clothing of many thousands. + +There as likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will +prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women +murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, +sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense, +than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and +inhuman breast. + +The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million +and a half,[130] of these I calculate there may be about two hundred +thousand couple whose wives are breeders, from which number I subtract +thirty thousand couples, who are able to maintain their own children, +although I apprehend there cannot be so many under the present +distresses of the kingdom, but this being granted, there will remain an +hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand +for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident, or +disease within the year. There only remain an hundred and twenty +thousand children of poor parents annually born: The question therefore +is, how this number shall be reared, and provided for, which, as I have +already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly +impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed, for we can neither +employ them in handicraft, or agriculture; we neither build houses, (I +mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a +livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old, except where +they are of towardly parts, although, I confess they learn the rudiments +much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked +upon only as _probationers_, as I have been informed by a principal +gentleman in the County of Cavan, who protested to me, that he never +knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of +the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art. + +I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years +old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they +will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at +most on the Exchange, which cannot turn to account either to the parents +or the kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least +four times that value. + +I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will +not be liable to the least objection. + +I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in +London,[131] that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a +most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, +baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a +fricassee, or a ragout. + +I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration, that of the +hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand +may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males, +which is more than we allow to sheep, black-cattle, or swine, and my +reason is that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a +circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will +be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand +may at a year old be offered in sale to the persons of quality, and +fortune, through the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them +suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump, and fat +for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for +friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will +make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will +be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. + +I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh 12 +pounds, and in a solar year if tolerably nursed increaseth to 28 pounds. + +I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for +landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem +to have the best title to the children. + +Infants' flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful +in March, and a little before and after, for we are told by a grave +author an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, +there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine +months after Lent, than at any other season; therefore reckoning a year +after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the +number of Popish infants, is at least three to one in this kingdom, and +therefore it will have one other collateral advantage by lessening the +number of Papists among us. + +I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which +list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) +to be about two shillings _per annum_, rags included, and I believe no +gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good +fat child, which, as I have said will make four dishes of excellent +nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend, or his own +family to dine with him. Thus the Squire will learn to be a good +landlord, and grow popular among his tenants, the mother will have eight +shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another +child. + +Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may +flay the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make +admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. + +As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in +the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not +be wanting, although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and +dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs. + +A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I +highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to +offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this +kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want +of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and +maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve, so great +a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve, for +want of work and service: and these to be disposed of by their parents +if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due +deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot +be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American +acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their flesh was +generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by continual +exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would not +answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think with humble +submission, be a loss to the public, because they soon would become +breeders themselves: And besides, it is not improbable that some +scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice, (although +indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I +confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any +project, however so well intended. + +But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was +put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar,[132] a native of the +island Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago, +and in conversation told my friend, that in his country when any young +person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to +persons of quality, as a prime dainty, and that, in his time, the body +of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison +the emperor, was sold to his Imperial Majesty's Prime Minister of State, +and other great Mandarins of the Court, in joints from the gibbet, at +four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use +were made of several plump young girls in this town, who, without one +single groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and +appear at the playhouse, and assemblies in foreign fineries, which they +never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse. + +Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast +number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have +been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease the +nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain +upon that matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day +dying, and rotting, by cold, and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast +as can be reasonably expected. And as to the younger labourers they are +now in almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and +consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree, that if at +any time they are accidentally hired to common labour, they have not +strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily +delivered from the evils to come. + +I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I +think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and +many, as well as of the highest importance. + +For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the +number of Papists, with whom we are yearly over-run, being the principal +breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who +stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the +Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good +Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country, than stay at +home, and pay tithes against their conscience, to an Episcopal +curate.[133] + +Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, +which by law may be made liable to distress, and help to pay their +landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and _money +a thing unknown_. + +Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from +two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten +shillings a piece _per annum_, the nation's stock will be thereby +increased fifty thousand pounds _per annum_, besides the profit of a new +dish, introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the +kingdom, who have any refinement in taste, and the money will circulate +among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and +manufacture. + +Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings +sterling _per annum_, by the sale of their children, will be rid of the +charge of maintaining them after the first year. + +Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where +the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best +receipts for dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their +houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves +upon their knowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands +how to oblige his guests will contrive to make it as expensive as they +please. + +Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise +nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and +penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward +their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life, to the +poor babes, provided in some sort by the public to their annual profit +instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married +women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market, men +would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, +as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when +they are ready to farrow, nor offer to beat or kick them (as it is too +frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage. + +Many other advantages might be enumerated: For instance, the addition of +some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrelled beef; the +propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good +bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too +frequent at our tables, which are no way comparable in taste, or +magnificence to a well-grown, fat yearling child, which roasted whole +will make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast, or any other +public entertainment. But this, and many others I omit being studious of +brevity. + +Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant +customers for infants' flesh, besides others who might have it at +merry-meetings, particularly weddings and christenings, I compute that +Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses, and the +rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) +the remaining eighty thousand. + +I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against +this proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will +be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was +indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the +reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy _for this one +individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, +I think, ever can be upon earth_. Therefore let no man talk to me of +other expedients: _Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of +using neither clothes, nor household furniture, except what is of our +own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and +instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of +pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein +of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our Country, +wherein we differ even from_ LAPLANDERS, _and the inhabitants +of_ TOPINAMBOO:[134] _Of quitting our animosities and factions, +nor act any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the +very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell +our country and consciences for nothing:[135] Of teaching landlords to +have at least one degree of mercy toward their tenants. Lastly of +putting a spirit of honesty, industry and skill into our shopkeepers, +who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, +would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the +measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one +fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to +it_.[136] + +Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like +expedients, till he hath at least some glimpse of hope, that there will +ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice. + +But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering +vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of +success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which as it is wholly +new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expense and little +trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in +_disobliging_ ENGLAND. For this kind of commodity will not +bear exportation,[137] the flesh being of too tender a consistence, to +admit a long continuance in salt, _although perhaps I could name a +country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it_. + +After all I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject +any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, +cheap, easy and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be +advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire +the author, or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. +First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and +raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, +there being a round million of creatures in human figure, throughout +this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would +leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling adding those, who are +beggars by profession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers +with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect. I desire those +politicians, who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to +attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these +mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness +to have been sold for food at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and +thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as they have +since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of +paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with +neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the +weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like, or +greater miseries upon their breed for ever. + +I profess in the sincerity of my heart that I have not the least +personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having +no other motive than the _public good of my country, by advancing our +trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some +pleasure to the rich_. I have no children, by which I can propose to get +a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past +child-bearing. + + + + +ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This "Answer" forms an excellent continuation of the "Modest + Proposal." It is in an entirely different vein, but is, in its own + way, an admirable example of Swift's strength in handling a public + question. The English government had been offering every facility + to French officers for recruiting their army from Ireland. The + "Craftsman" made some strong remarks on this, and Primate Boulter, + in his letter to the Duke of Newcastle, under date October 14th, + 1730, told his Grace, "that after consulting with the Lords + Justices on the subject he found that they apprehend there will be + greater difficulties in this affair than at first offered." He + enters into the difficulties to be overcome in order to act in + consonance with the wishes of his Majesty, and promises that + "effectual care shall be taken that none of the officers who are + come hither, suffer on this account" (Letter, pp. 26-27, vol. ii., + Dublin, edit. 1770). Swift uses the matter for his own purposes and + ironically welcomes this chance for the depopulation of Ireland. + "When our island is a desert, we will send all our raw material to + England, and receive from her all our manufactured articles. A + leather coinage will be all we want, separated, as we shall then + be, from all human kind. We shall have lost all; but we may be left + in peace, and we shall have no more to tempt the plunderer." Scott + styles this "Answer" a masterpiece. + + * * * * * + + The text of this edition is based on that given by Faulkner in the + ninth volume of his edition of Swift issued in 1772. + + [T. S.] + + + + +ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN.[138] + + + SIR, + +I detest reading your papers, because I am not of your principles, and +because I cannot endure to be convinced. Yet I was prevailed on to +peruse your Craftsman of December the 12th, wherein I discover you to be +as great an enemy of this country, as you are of your own. You are +pleased to reflect on a project I proposed, of making the children of +Irish parents to be useful to the public instead of being +burdensome;[139] and you venture to assert, that your own scheme is more +charitable, of not permitting our Popish natives to be listed in the +service of any foreign prince. + +Perhaps, sir, you may not have heard of any kingdom so unhappy as this, +both in their imports and exports. We import a sort of goods, of no +intrinsic value, which costeth us above forty thousand pounds a year to +dress, and scour, and polish them, which altogether do not yield one +penny advantage;[140] and we annually export above seven hundred +thousand pounds a year in another kind of goods, for which we receive +not one single farthing in return; even the money paid for the letters +sent in transacting this commerce being all returned to England. But +now, when there is a most lucky opportunity offered to begin a trade, +whereby this nation will save many thousand pounds a year, and England +be a prodigious gainer, you are pleased, without a call, officiously and +maliciously to interpose with very frivolous arguments. + +It is well known, that about sixty years ago the exportation of live +cattle from hence to England was a great benefit to both kingdoms, until +that branch of traffic was stopped by an act of Parliament on your side, +whereof you have had sufficient reason to repent.[141] Upon which +account, when another act passed your Parliament, forbidding the +exportation of live men to any foreign country, you were so wise to put +in a clause, allowing it to be done by his Majesty's permission, under +his sign manual,[142] for which, among other great benefits granted to +Ireland, we are infinitely obliged to the British legislature. Yet this +very grace and favour you, Mr. D'Anvers, whom we never disobliged, are +endeavouring to prevent; which, I will take upon me to say, is a +manifest mark of your disaffection to his Majesty, a want of duty to the +ministry, and a wicked design of oppressing this kingdom, and a +traitorous attempt to lessen the trade and manufacture of England. + +Our truest and best ally, the Most Christian King,[143] hath obtained +his Majesty's licence, pursuant to law, to export from hence some +thousand bodies of healthy, young, living men, to supply his Irish +regiments. The King of Spain, as you assert yourself, hath desired the +same civility, and seemeth to have at least as good a claim. Supposing +then that these two potentates will only desire leave to carry off six +thousand men between them to France and Spain; then, by computing the +maintenance of a tall, hungry Irishman, in food and clothes, to be only +at five pounds a head, here will be thirty thousand pounds per annum +saved clear to the nation; for they can find no other employment at +home, beside begging, robbing, or stealing. But, if thirty, forty, or +fifty thousand (which we could gladly spare) were sent on the same +errand, what an immense benefit must it be to us! And if the two +princes, in whose service they were, should happen to be at war with +each other, how soon would those recruits be destroyed! Then what a +number of friends would the Pretender lose, and what a number of Popish +enemies all true Protestants get rid of! Add to this, that then, by such +a practice, the lands of Ireland, that want hands for tillage, must be +employed in grazing, which would sink the price of wool, raw hides, +butter, and tallow, so that the English might have them at their own +rates, and in return send us wheat to make our bread, barley to brew our +drink, and oats for our houses, without any labour of our own. + +Upon this occasion, I desire humbly to offer a scheme, which, in my +opinion, would best answer the true interests of both kingdoms: For +although I bear a most tender filial affection to England, my dear +native country, yet I cannot deny but this noble island hath a great +share in my love and esteem; nor can I express how much I desire to see +it flourish in trade and opulence, even beyond its present happy +condition. + +The profitable land of this kingdom is, I think, usually computed at +seventeen millions of acres, all which I propose to be wholly turned to +grazing. Now, it is found by experience, that one grazier and his family +can manage two thousand acres. Thus sixteen millions eight hundred +thousand acres may be managed by eight thousand four hundred families; +and the fraction of two hundred thousand acres will be more than +sufficient for cabins, out-houses, and potatoe-gardens; because it is to +be understood that corn of all sorts must be sent to us from England. + +These eight thousand four hundred families may be divided among the four +provinces, according to the number of houses in each province; and +making the equal allowance of eight to a family, the number of +inhabitants will amount to sixty-seven thousand two hundred souls. To +these we are to add a standing army of twenty thousand English; which, +together with their trulls, their bastards, and their horse-boys, will, +by a gross computation, very near double the count, and be very +sufficient for the defence and grazing of the kingdom, as well as to +enrich our neighbours, expel popery, and keep out the Pretender. And, +lest the army should be at a loss for business, I think it would be very +prudent to employ them in collecting the public taxes for paying +themselves and the civil list. + +I advise, that all the owners of these lands should live constantly in +England, in order to learn politeness, and qualify themselves for +employments; but, for fear of increasing the natives in this island, +that an annual draught, according to the number born every year, be +exported to whatever prince will bear the carriage, or transplanted to +the English dominions on the American continent, as a screen between his +Majesty's English subjects and the savage Indians. + +I advise likewise, that no commodity whatsoever, of this nation's +growth, should be sent to any other country except England, under the +penalty of high treason; and that all the said commodities shall be sent +in their natural state; the hides raw, the wool uncombed, the flax in +the stub; excepting only fish, butter, tallow, and whatever else will be +spoiled in the carriage. On the contrary, that no goods whatsoever shall +be exported hither, except from England, under the same penalty: that +England should be forced, at their own rates, to send us over clothes +ready made, as well as shirts and smocks to the soldiers and their +trulls; all iron, wooden, and earthen ware, and whatever furniture may +be necessary for the cabins of graziers; with a sufficient quantity of +gin, and other spirits, for those who, can afford to be drunk on +holidays. + +As to the civil and ecclesiastical administration, which I have not yet +fully considered, I can say little; only, with regard to the latter, it +is plain, that the article of paying tithe for supporting speculative +opinions in religion, which is so insupportable a burden to all true +Protestants, and to most churchmen, will be very much lessened by this +expedient; because dry cattle pay nothing to the spiritual hireling, +any more than imported corn; so that the industrious shepherd and +cowherd may sit every man under his own blackberry-bush, and on his own +potato-bed, whereby this happy island will become a new Arcadia. + +I do likewise propose, that no money shall be used in Ireland except +what is made of leather, which likewise shall be coined in England, and +imported; and that the taxes shall be levied out of the commodities we +export to England, and there turned into money for his Majesty's use; +and the rents to landlords discharged in the same manner. This will be +no manner of grievance, for we already see it very practicable to live +without money, and shall be more convinced of it every day. But whether +paper shall still continue to supply that defect, or whether we shall +hang up all those who profess the trade of bankers, (which latter I am +rather inclined to,) must be left to the consideration of wiser +politicians. + +That which maketh me more zealously bent upon this scheme, is my desire +of living in amity with our neighbouring brethren; for we have already +tried all other means without effect, to that blessed end: and, by the +course of measures taken for some years past, it should seem that we are +all agreed in the point. + +This expedient will be of great advantage to both kingdoms, upon several +accounts: for, as to England, they have a just claim to the balance of +trade on their side with the whole world: and therefore our ancestors +and we, who conquered this kingdom for them, ought, in duty and +gratitude, to let them have the whole benefit of that conquest to +themselves; especially when the conquest was amicably made without +bloodshed, by a stipulation between the Irish princes and Henry II.; by +which they paid him, indeed, not equal homage with what the electors of +Germany do to the emperor, but very near the same that he did to the +King of France for his French dominions. + +In consequence of this claim from England, that kingdom may very +reasonably demand the benefit of all our commodities in their natural +growth, to be manufactured by their people, and a sufficient quantity of +them for our use to be returned hither fully manufactured. + +This, on the other side, will be of great benefit to our inhabitants +the graziers; when time and labour will be too much taken up in manuring +their ground, feeding their cattle, shearing their sheep, and sending +over their oxen fit for slaughter; to which employments they are turned +by nature, as descended from the Scythians, whose diet they are still so +fond of. So Virgil describeth it:-- + + Et lac concretum cum sanguine bibit equino; + +Which, in English, is bonnyclabber[144] mingled with the blood of +horses, as they formerly did, until about the beginning of the last +century luxury, under the form of politeness, began to creep in, they +changed the blood of horses for that of their black cattle, and, by +consequence, became less warlike than their ancestors. + +Although I proposed that the army should be collectors of the public +revenues, yet I did not thereby intend that those taxes should be paid +in gold or silver; but in kind, as all other rent: For, the custom of +tenants making their payments in money, is a new thing in the world, +little known in former ages, nor generally practised in any nation at +present, except this island and the southern parts of Britain. But, to +my great satisfaction, I foresee better times; the ancient manner +beginneth to be now practised in many parts of Connaught, as well as in +the county of Cork; where the squires turn tenants to themselves, divide +so many cattle to their slaves, who are to provide such a quantity of +butter, hides, or tallow, still keeping up their number of cattle; and +carry the goods to Cork, or other port towns, and then sell them to the +merchants. By which invention there is no such thing as a ruined farmer +to be seen; but the people live with comfort on potatoes and +bonnyclabber, neither of which are vendible commodities abroad. + + + + +A + +VINDICATION + +OF + +HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET. + + + + + NOTE. + + + JOHN CARTERET, EARL GRANVILLE, succeeded to the Carteret + barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George, + the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at + Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter + place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and + philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House + of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant + succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the + Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden + he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in + 1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover. + Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir + Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray. + + In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern + province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he + intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a + party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the + King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for + George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton, + Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole, + however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to + Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the + office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this + time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government. + Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though, + in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of + Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's + halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the + present edition. + + During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been + one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George + was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George, + however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of + George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was + re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was + during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct + Swift vindicates in the following tract. + + The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper + of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often + consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not + appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion + to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation + against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott, + "visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing + the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber + of audience these lines: + + 'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task, + For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.' + + Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply: + + 'My very good Dean, there are few who come here, + But have something to ask, or something to fear.'" + + To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the + peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused + by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written + many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me + how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift + confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret + "had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than + most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his + well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name, + do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our + boobies again." + + Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the + changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could + come only from the government in England, and as this was + implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was + therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he + could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement, + and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their + behalf. + + Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his + chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs + in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of + their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure + him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals + who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his + usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows. + + Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in + 1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole, + which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House + of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his + presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was + compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no + relation to Irish affairs. + + * * * * * + + The present text is founded on that of the original London edition + printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date. + They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +VINDICATION + +OF HIS + +EXCELLENCY + +THE + +Lord _C----T_, + +FROM THE + +CHARGE + +Of favouring none but + +TORIES, HIGH-CHURCHMEN and + +JACOBITES. + + * * * * * + +By the Reverend Dr, _S----T_. + + * * * * * + +LONDON: + +Printed for T. WARNER at the _Black-Boy_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_. +MDCCXXX. + +(Price _6d._) + + + + +A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET. + + +In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and +impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his +Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars, +which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation +he lies under. + +He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the +Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for +what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former +Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean +that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with +Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th +day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt +of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our +posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which +day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now +alive. + +His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of +Oxford,[145] from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he +carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a +person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are +forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to +load their heads with. + +This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world, +and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon as he came to town, +some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning +and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately +dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain, +nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and +dispositions. + +To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him +with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence, +and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his +youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best +fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education; +having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow +him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period +when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his +money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and +epidemic among persons of honour. + +I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and +can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every +day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is +reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately +conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been +taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a +session, to the great neglect of public affairs.[146] + +I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from +good hands, that when his Excellency is at dinner with one or two +scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and +unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table. + +I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage. +For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most +comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and +vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life, +discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well +as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit +an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect +whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the +imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears +of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I +presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made +any mention of them. + +These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think +it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to +be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education. + +I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion +of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with +honour Pistorides.[147]) For these have decided the matter directly +against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under +the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at +a great man's levee in the worst of times,[148] should be allowed to +come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the +antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night. +However, I dare assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and +that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been +received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to +the nation. + +Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater +importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed. + +To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto +been taken to discover whether Madam Violante[149] be a Whig or Tory in +her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the +Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself +to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she +may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and +dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties, +who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least +apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson +himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.[150] And as +Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power, +it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power +ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any +legal security for her good affection to the government. + +I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think +proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the +old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the +same loyalty with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King +George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of +Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but +having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure +to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and +melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of +trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with +other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and +Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers. +Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture +to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our +usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under +the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the +like. + +This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning +mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties, +with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of +aversion on the other. + +How hath he been pelted, pestered, and pounded by one single wag, who +promiseth never to forsake him living or dead![151] + +I was much pleased with the humour of a surgeon in this town, who having +in his own apprehension, received some great injustice from the Earl of +Galway,[152] and despairing of revenge, as well as relief, declared to +all his friends that he had set apart a hundred guineas to purchase the +Earl's carcase from the sexton, whenever it should die; to make a +skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and shew them for threepence; and +thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by the owner. + +Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against +whom there is no defence but innocence, and philosophy: Neither of +which is likely to be at hand; and therefore the wounded have nowhere to +fly for a cure, but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a +profligate contempt of guilt and shame. + +I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus,[153] who +although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo +even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing +without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons, +according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not +blame an _honest_ gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to +whom he professeth the greatest friendship; provided he acts in the +dark, so as not to be discovered. But in the midst of caresses, visits, +and invitations, to run into the streets, or to as public a place, and +without the least pretended excitement, sputter out the basest and +falsest accusations; then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his +friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper, it was "all +for his service;" this proceeding, I am bold to think a great failure in +prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner, with a body so open, +so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an +incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon +great provocation: who without waiting for his death, will flay, and +dissect him alive, and to the view of mankind lay open all the +disordered cells of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corruption +of his heart, and spots and flatuses of his spleen--And all this for +threepence.[154] + +In such a case what a scene would be laid open! and to drop my metaphor +what a character of our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw and +expose! particularizing that unnatural conjunction of vices and follies, +so inconsistent with each other in the same breast: Furious and fawning, +scurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking, insolent and abject; +most profligately false, with the strongest professions of sincerity, +positive and variable, tyrannical and slavish. + +I apprehend that if all this should be set out to the world by an angry +Whig of the old stamp, the unavoidable consequence must be a confinement +of our friend for some months more to his garret, and thereby depriving +the public for so long a time, and in so important a juncture, of his +useful talents in their service, while he is fed like a wild beast +through a hole; but I hope with a special regard to the quantity and +quality of his nourishment. + +In vain would his excusers endeavour to palliate his enormities, by +imputing them to madness:[155] Because, it is well known, that madness +only operates by inflaming and enlarging the good or evil dispositions +of the mind: For the curators of Bedlam assure us, that some lunatics +are persons of honour, truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which +appear in their highest ravings, although after a wild incoherent +manner; while others on the contrary, discover in every word and action +the utmost baseness and depravity of human minds; which infallibly they +possessed in the same degree, although perhaps under a better +regulation, before their entrance into that academy. + +But it may be objected, that there is an argument of much force to +excuse the overflowings of that zeal, which our friend shews or means +for our cause. And it must be confessed, that the easy and smooth +fluency of his elocution bestowed on him by nature, and cultivated by +continual practice, added to the comeliness of his person, the harmony +of his voice, the gracefulness of his manner, and the decency of his +dress, are temptations too strong for such a genius to resist upon any +public occasion of making them appear with universal applause: And if +good men are sometimes accused of loving their jest better than their +friend, surely to gain the reputation of the first orator in the +kingdom, no man of spirit would scruple to lose all the friends he had +in the world. + +It is usual for masters to make their boys declaim on both sides of an +argument; and as some kinds of assemblies are called the schools of +politics, I confess nothing can better improve political school-boys, +than the art of making plausible or implausible harangues, against the +very opinion for which they resolve to determine. + +So Cardinal Perron after having spoke for an hour to the admiration of +all his hearers, to prove the existence of God; told some of his +intimates that he could have spoken another hour, and much better, to +prove the contrary. + +I have placed this reasoning in the strongest light, that I think it +will bear; and have nothing to answer, but that allowing it as much +weight as the reader shall please, it hath constantly met with ill +success in the mouth of our friend, whether for want of good luck, or +good management I suspend my judgment. + +To return from this long digression. If persons in high stations have +been allowed to choose mistresses, without regard even to difference in +religion, yet never incurred the least reflection on their loyalty or +their Protestantism; shall the chief governor of a great kingdom be +censured for choosing a companion, who may formerly have been suspected +for differing from the orthodox in some speculative opinions of persons +and things, which cannot affect the fundamental principles of a sound +Whig? + +But let me suppose a very possible case. Here is a person sent to govern +Ireland, whose unfortunate weak side it happens to be, for several +reasons above-mentioned, that he hath encouraged the attendance of one or +two gentlemen distinguished for their taste, their wit, and their +learning; who have taken the oaths to his Majesty, and pray heartily for +him: Yet because they may perhaps be stigmatized as _quondam_ Tories by +Pistorides and his gang; his Excellency must be forced to banish them +under the pain and peril of displeasing the zealots of his own party; +and thereby be put into a worse condition than every common good-fellow; +who may be a sincere Protestant, and a loyal subject, and yet rather +choose to drink fine ale at the Pope's head, than muddy at the King's. + +Let me then return to my supposition. It is certain, the high-flown +loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and +studies, and tongues so entirely diverted by political schemes, that +the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither +have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly +labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with +philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all +schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill +stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of +literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of +Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and +professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to +governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same +time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to +all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency, +and perhaps to five or six more in a nation. + +I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the +times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former +ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for +is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house +clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession, +till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first. + +I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so +obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse +is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have +produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly +informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session +quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some +book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great +stations are by. + +I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this +mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning +and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because +the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons +directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world: +And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of +the Greeks and Romans made young men imbibe opinions against absolute +power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions +of liberty and property. + +It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the +heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a +tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and +indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could +never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a +receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (_rightly spelt_) to +a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying; +whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world +with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.[156] + +I could heartily wish his Excellency would be more condescending to the +genius of the kingdom he governs, to the condition of the times, and to +the nature of the station he fills. Yet if it be true, what I have read +in old English story-books, that one Agesilaus (no matter to the bulk of +my readers, whether I spell the names right or wrong) was caught by the +parson of the parish, riding on a hobby-horse with his children; that +Socrates a heathen philosopher, was found dancing by himself at +fourscore; that a king called Caesar Augustus (or some such name) used to +play with boys; whereof some might possibly be sons of Tories; and, that +two great men called Scipio and Laelius, (I forget their Christian names, +and whether they were poets or generals,) often played at duck and drake +with smooth stones on a river. Now I say, if these facts be true (and +the book where I found them is in print) I cannot imagine why our most +zealous patriots may not a little indulge his Excellency, in an +infirmity which is not morally evil, provided he gives no public scandal +(which is by all means to be avoided) I say, why he may not be indulged +twice a week to converse with one or two particular persons, and let him +and them con over their old exploded readings together, after mornings +spent in hearing and prescribing ways and means from and to his most +obedient politicians, for the welfare of the kingdom; although the said +particular person or persons may not have made so public a declaration +of their political faith in all its parts, as the business of the nation +requires. Still submitting my opinion to that happy majority, which I am +confident is always in the right; by whom the liberty of the subject +hath been so frequently, so strenuously, and so successfully asserted; +who by their wise counsels have made commerce to flourish, money to +abound, inhabitants to increase, the value of lands and rents to rise; +and the whole island put on a new face of plenty and prosperity. + +But in order to clear his Excellency, more fully from this accusation of +shewing his favours to high-flyers, Tories, and Jacobites; it will be +necessary to come to particulars. + +The first person of a Tory denomination to whom his Excellency gave any +marks of his favour, was Doctor Thomas Sheridan.[157] It is to be +observed, that this happened so early in his Excellency's government, as +it may be justly supposed he had not been informed of that gentleman's +character upon so dangerous an article. The Doctor being well known and +distinguished, for his skill and success in the education of youth, +beyond most of his profession for many years past, was recommended to +his Excellency on the score of his learning, and particularly for his +knowledge in the Greek tongue, whereof it seems his Excellency is a +great admirer, although for what reasons I could never imagine. However +it is agreed on all hands, that his lordship was too easily prevailed on +by the Doctor's request, or indeed rather from the bias of his own +nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unknown language by the Doctor's +lads,[158] which was written by some heathen author, but whether it +contained any Tory or High-Church principles, must be left to the +consciences of the boys, the Doctor, and his Excellency: The only +witnesses in this case, whose testimonies can be depended upon. + +It seems, his Excellency (a thing never to be sufficiently wondered at) +was so pleased with his entertainment, that some time after he gave the +Doctor a church living to the value of almost one hundred pounds a year, +and made him one of his chaplains, from an antiquated notion, that good +schoolmasters ought to be encouraged in every nation, professing +civility and religion. Yet his Excellency did not venture to make this +bold step without strong recommendations from persons of undoubted +principles, fitted to the times; who thought themselves bound in +justice, honour, and gratitude, to do the Doctor a good office in return +for the care he had taken of their children, or those of their +friends.[159] Yet the catastrophe was terrible: For, the Doctor in the +height of his felicity and gratitude, going down to take possession of +his parish, and furnished with a few led-sermons, whereof as it is to be +supposed the number was very small, having never served a cure in the +Church; he stopped at Cork to attend on his bishop; and going to church +on the Sunday following, was according to the usual civility of country +clergymen, invited by the minister of the parish to supply the pulpit. +It happened to be the first of August[160]; and the first of August +happened that year to light upon a Sunday: And it happened that the +Doctor's text was in these words; "Sufficient unto the day is the evil +thereof;" and lastly it happened, that some one person of the +congregation, whose loyalty made him watchful upon every appearance of +danger to his Majesty's person and Government, when service was over, +gave the alarm. Notice was immediately sent up to town, and by the zeal +of one man[161] of no large dimensions of body or mind, such a clamour +was raised, that we in Dublin could apprehend no less than an invasion +by the Pretender, who must be landed in the South. The result was, that +the Doctor must be struck out of the chaplains' list, and appear no more +at the Castle; yet, whether he were then, or be at this day, a Whig or a +Tory, I think is a secret; only it is manifest, that he is a zealous +Hanoverian, at least in poetry,[162] and a great adorer of the present +Royal Family through all its branches. His friends likewise assert, that +he had preached this same sermon often, under the same text; that not +having observed the words till he was in the pulpit, and had opened his +notes; as he is a person a little abstracted, he wanted presence of mind +to change them: And that in the whole sermon there was not a syllable +relating to Government or party, or to the subject of the day. + +In this incident there seems to have been an union of events, that will +probably never happen again to the end of the world, or at least like +the grand conjunction in the heavens, which I think they say can arrive +but once in twenty thousand years. + +The second gentleman (if I am right in my chronology) who under the +suspicion of a Tory, received some favour from his Excellency, is Mr. +James Stopford[163]; very strongly recommended by the most eminent Whig +in England, on the account of his learning, and virtue, and other +accomplishments. He had passed the greatest part of his youth in close +study, or in travelling; and was neither not at home, or not at leisure +to trouble his thoughts about party; which I allow to be a great +omission; though I cannot honestly place him in the list of Tories, and +therefore think his Excellency may be fairly acquitted for making him +Vicar of Finglass, worth about one hundred and fifty pounds a year. + +The third is Doctor Patrick Delany.[164] This divine lies under some +disadvantage; having in his youth received many civilities from a +certain person then in a very high station here,[165] for which reason I +doubt the Doctor never drank his confusion since: And what makes the +matter desperate, it is now too late; unless our inquisitors will be +content with drinking confusion to his memory. The aforesaid eminent +person who was a judge of all merit but party, distinguished the Doctor +among other juniors in our University, for his learning, virtue, +discretion, and good sense. But the Doctor was then in too good a +situation at his college, to hope or endeavour at a better +establishment, from one who had no power to give it him. + +Upon the present Lord-Lieutenant's coming over, the Doctor was named to +his Excellency by a friend,[166] among other clergy of distinction, as +persons whose characters it was proper his Excellency should know: And +by the truth of which the giver would be content to stand or fall in his +Excellency's opinion; since not one of those persons were in particular +friendship with the gentleman who gave in their names. By this and some +other incidents, particularly the recommendation of the late Archbishop +of Dublin,[167] the Doctor became known to his Excellency; whose fatal +turn of mind toward heathenish and outlandish books and languages, +finding, as I conceive a like disposition in the Doctor, was the cause +of his becoming so domestic, as we are told he is, at the Castle of +Dublin. + +Three or four years ago, the Doctor grown weary of an academic life, +for some reasons best known to the managers of the discipline in that +learned society (which it may not be for their honour to mention[168]) +resolved to leave it, although by the benefit of the pupils, and his +senior-fellowship with all its perquisites, he received every year +between nine hundred and a thousand pounds. + +And a small northern living, in the University's donation, of somewhat +better than hundred pounds a year, falling at the same time with the +Chancellorship of Christ-Church, to about equal the value, in the gift +of his Excellency, the Doctor ventured into the world in a very scanty +condition, having squandered away all his annual income in a manner, +which although perhaps proper enough for a clergyman without a family, +will not be for the advantage of his character to discover either on the +exchange, or at a banker's shop. + +About two months ago, his Excellency gave the Doctor a prebend in St. +Patrick's Cathedral; which being of near the same value with either of +the two former, will add a third part to his revenues, after he shall +have paid the great incumbrances upon it; so that he may now be said to +possess of Church preferments in scattered tithes, three hundred pounds +a year, instead of the like sum of infallible rents from a senior +fellowship with the offices annexed; beside the advantage of a free +lodging, and some other easements. + +But since the Doctor hath not in any of his writings, his sermons, his +actions, his discourse, or his company, discovered one single principle +of either Whig or Tory; and that the Lord Lieutenant still continues to +admit him; I shall boldly pronounce him _ONE OF US_: but like a new +free-mason, who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the mystery. +Neither can he justly be accused of any Tory doctrines, except perhaps +some among those few, with which that wicked party was charged, during +the height of their power; but have been since transferred for the most +solid reasons, to the whole body of our firmest friends. + +I have now done with the clergy; And upon the strictest examination have +not been able to find above one of that order, against whom any party +suspicion can lie, which is the unfortunate gentleman, Doctor Sheridan, +who by mere chance-medley shot his own fortune dead with a single text. + +As to the laity I can hear of but one person of the Tory stamp, who +since the beginning of his Excellency's government, did ever receive any +solid mark of his favour; I mean Sir Arthur Acheson,[169] reported to be +an acknowledged Tory, and what is almost as bad, a scholar into the +bargain. It is whispered about as a certain truth, that this gentleman +is to have a grant of a certain barrack upon his estate, within two +miles of his own house; for which the Crown is to be his tenant, at the +rent of sixty pounds _per annum_; he being only at the expense of about +five hundred pounds, to put the house in repair, build stables, and +other necessaries. I will place this invidious mark of beneficence, +conferred on a Tory, in a fair light, by computing the costs and +necessary defalcations; after which it may be seen how much Sir Arthur +will be annually a clear gainer by the public, notwithstanding his +unfortunate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and Latin. + + For repairs, &c. _500l._ the interest whereof _per ann._ 30 0 0 + For all manner of poultry to furnish the troopers, + but which the said troopers must be at the + labour of catching, valued _per ann._ 5 0 0 + For straggling sheep, 8 0 0 + For game destroyed five miles round, 6 0 0 + -------- + 49 0 0 + + Rent paid to Sir Arthur, 60 0 0 + Deduct 49 0 0 + ------ + Remains clear, 11 0 0 + ------ + +Thus, if Sir Arthur Acheson shall have the good fortune to obtain a +grant of this barrack, he will receive net profit annually from the +Crown ELEVEN pounds sterling to help him in entertaining the officers, +and making provisions for his younger children. + +It is true, there is another advantage to be expected, which may fully +compensate the loss of cattle and poultry; by multiplying the breed of +mankind, and particularly of good Protestants, in a part of the Kingdom +half depopulated by the wild humour among the farmers there, of leaving +their country. But I am not so skilful in arithmetic, as to compute the +value. + +I have reckoned one _per cent._ below the legal interest for the money +that Sir Arthur must expend, and valued the damage in the other articles +very moderately. However, I am confident he may with good management be +a saver at least; which is a prodigious instance of moderation in our +friends toward a professed Tory, whatever merit he may pretend by the +unwillingness he hath shewn to make his Excellency uneasy in his +administration. + +Thus I have with the utmost impartiality collected every single favour, +(further than personal civilities) conferred by his Excellency on +Tories, and reputed Tories, since his first arrival hither to this +present 13th day of April, in the year of our Lord 1730, giving all +allowance possible to the arguments on the other side of the question. + + * * * * * + + And the account will stand thus. + +Disposed of preferments and employments to Tories, or reputed Tories, by +his Excellency the Lord Lieutenant in about the space of six years. + + To Doctor Thomas Sheridan in a rectory near + Kinsale, _per ann._ 100 0 0 + To Sir Arthur Acheson, Baronet, a barrack, + _per ann._ 11 0 0 + ----------- + 111 0 0 + ----------- + +Give me leave now to compute in gross the value of the favours done by +his Excellency to the true friends of their King and Country, and of the +Protestant religion. + +It is to be remembered, that although his Excellency cannot be properly +said to bestow bishoprics, commands in the army, the place of a judge, +or commissioner in the revenue, and some others; yet they are, for the +most part, disposed upon his recommendation, except where the persons +are immediately sent from England by their interest at Court, for which +I have allowed large defalcations in the following accounts. And it is +remarkable that the only considerable station conferred on a reputed +Tory since his present Excellency's government was of this latter kind. + +And indeed it is but too remarkable, that in a neighbouring nation, +(where that dangerous denomination of men is incomparably more numerous, +more powerful, and of consequence more formidable) real Tories can often +with much less difficulty obtain very high favours from the Government, +than their reputed brethren can arrive to the lowest in ours. I observe +this with all possible submission to the wisdom of their policy, which, +however, will not I believe, dispute the praise of vigilance with ours. + + WHIG Account. + + To persons promoted to bishoprics, or removed + to more beneficial ones, computed + _per ann._ 10050 0 0 + To civil employments, 9030 0 0 + To military commands, 8436 0 0 + ----------- + 27516 0 0 + + TORY Account. + + To Tories 111 0 0 + ----------- + Balance 27405 0 0 + ----------- + +I shall conclude with this observation. That, as I think, the Tories +have sufficient reason to be fully satisfied with the share of trust, +and power, and employments which they possess under the lenity of the +present Government; so, I do not find how his Excellency can be justly +censured for favouring none but High-Church, high-fliers, termagants, +Laudists, Sacheverellians, tip-top-gallant-men, Jacobites, tantivies, +anti-Hanoverians, friends to Popery and the Pretender, and to arbitrary +power, disobligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY, inflamers of +quarrels between the two nations, public incendiaries, enemies to the +King and Kingdoms, haters of TRUE Protestants, laurelmen, Annists, +complainers of the Nation's poverty, Ormondians, iconoclasts, +anti-Glorious-memorists, white-rosalists, tenth-a-Junians, and the like: +when by a fair state of the account, the balance, I conceive, plainly +lies on the other side.[170] + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR + +AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION, + +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT. + +BY WHICH THE NUMBER OF LANDED GENTRY AND SUBSTANTIAL FARMERS WILL BE +CONSIDERABLY INCREASED, AND NO ONE PERSON WILL BE THE POORER, OR +CONTRIBUTE ONE FARTHING TO THE CHARGE. + + + + + NOTE. + + + In volume three of the present edition two tracts are given + relating to attempts made by the bishops of Ireland for enlarging + their powers. These tracts are entitled: "On the Bill for the + Clergy's residing on their Livings," and "Considerations upon two + Bills, sent down from the House of Lords and the House of Commons + in Ireland relating to the Clergy of Ireland" (pp. 249-272). The + bills which Swift argued against were evidently intended to give + the bishops further powers and increased opportunities for making + money. (The matter is gone into at length in the notes prefixed to + the above reprints.) The bishops sought rights which would enable + them to obtain large powers in letting leases, and their eagerness + to get such powers, coupled with the efforts they expended, showed + that they had less regard for the Church's interest than for their + own. + + In the present tract Swift, with his usual assumption of grave + consideration of an important question, but in reality with cutting + irony, proposes to dispose of all the Church lands for a lump sum, + give the bishops their full just share, including the amount of + fines for possible renewals of leases, and, at the same time, pay + off the national debt with the money that remains. With an air of + strict seriousness he solemnly computes the exact sums obtainable, + and impartially divides the amounts with accurate care. Then, with + a dig at the strangers England was continually sending to Irish + preferments, among whom he counts himself, he concludes by saying + that although the interests of such cannot be expected to be those + of the country to which they have been translated, yet he, as one + of them, is quite willing, and indeed feels himself in duty bound + "to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well + received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing + to reduce this excellent proposal into a law ... my sincere + endeavours to serve this Church and kingdom will be rewarded." + + * * * * * + + The text of this pamphlet is based on that given at the end of the + volume containing the first edition of "Considerations upon two + Bills," etc., published in 1732. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION, +WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT. + + +The debts contracted some years past for the service and safety of the +nation, are grown so great, that under our present distressed condition +by the want of trade, the great remittances to pay absentees, regiments +serving abroad, and many other drains of money, well enough known and +felt; the kingdom seems altogether unable to discharge them by the +common methods of payment: And either a poll or land tax would be too +odious to think of, especially the latter, because the lands, which have +been let for these ten or dozen years past, were raised so high, that +the owners can, at present, hardly receive any rent at all. For, it is +the usual practice of an Irish tenant, rather than want land, to offer +more for a farm than he knows he can be ever able to pay, and in that +case he grows desperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-tax +upon a racked estate would be a burthen wholly insupportable. + +The question will then be, how these national debts can be paid, and how +I can make good the several particulars of my proposal, which I shall +now lay open to the public. + +The revenues of their Graces and Lordships the Archbishops and Bishops +of this kingdom (excluding the fines) do amount by a moderate +computation to _36,800l._ _per ann._ I mean the rents which the +bishops receive from their tenants. But the real value of those lands +at a full rent, taking the several sees one with another, is reckoned +to be at least three-fourths more, so that multiplying _36,800l._ by +four, the full rent of all the bishops' lands will amount to +_147,200l._ _per ann._ from which subtracting the present rent +received by their lordships, that is _36,800l._ the profits of the +lands received by the first and second tenants (who both have great +bargains) will rise to the sum of _110,400l._ _per ann._ which lands, +if they were to be sold at twenty-two years' purchase, would raise a +sum of _2,428,800l._ reserving to the Bishops their present rents, +only excluding fines.[171] + +Of this sum I propose, that out of the one-half which amounts to +_1,214,400l._ so much be applied as will entirely discharge the debts of +the nation, and the remainder laid up in the treasury, to supply +contingencies, as well as to discharge some of our heavy taxes, until +the kingdom shall be in a better condition. + +But whereas the present set of bishops would be great losers by this +scheme for want of their fines, which would be hard treatment to such +religious, loyal and deserving personages, I have therefore set apart +the other half to supply that defect, which it will more than +sufficiently do. + +A bishop's lease for the full term, is reckoned to be worth eleven +years' purchase, but if we take the bishops round, I suppose, there may +be four years of each lease elapsed, and many of the bishops being well +stricken in years, I cannot think their lives round to be worth more +than seven years' purchase; so that the purchasers may very well afford +fifteen years' purchase for the reversion, especially by one great +additional advantage, which I shall soon mention. + +This sum of _2,428,800l._ must likewise be sunk very considerably, +because the lands are to be sold only at fifteen years' purchase, and +this lessens the sum to about _1,656,000l._ of which I propose twelve +hundred thousand pounds to be applied partly for the payment of the +national debt, and partly as a fund for future exigencies, and the +remaining _456,000l._ I propose as a fund for paying the present set of +bishops their fines, which it will abundantly do, and a great part +remain as an addition to the public stock. + +Although the bishops round do not in reality receive three fines +a-piece, which take up 21 years, yet I allow it to be so; but then I +will suppose them to take but one year's rent, in recompense of giving +them so large a term of life, and thus multiplying _36,800l._ by 3 the +product will be only _110,400l._ so that above three-fourths will remain +to be applied to public use. + +If I have made wrong computations, I hope to be excused, as a stranger +to the kingdom, which I never saw till I was called to an employment, +and yet where I intend to pass the rest of my days; but I took care to +get the best information I could, and from the most proper persons; +however, the mistakes I may have been guilty of, will very little affect +the main of my proposal, although they should cause a difference of one +hundred thousand pounds more or less. + +These fines, are only to be paid to the bishop during his incumbency in +the same see; if he changeth it for a better, the purchasers of the +vacant see lands, are to come immediately into possession of the see he +hath left, and both the bishop who is removed, and he who comes into his +place, are to have no more fines, for the removed bishop will find his +account by a larger revenue; and the other see will find candidates +enough. For the law maxim will here have place, that _caveat_, &c. I +mean the persons who succeed may choose whether they will accept or no. + +As to the purchasers, they will probably be tenants to the see, who are +already in possession, and can afford to give more than any other +bidders. + +I will further explain myself. If a person already a bishop, be removed +into a richer see, he must be content with the bare revenues, without +any fines, and so must he who comes into a bishopric vacant by death: +And this will bring the matter sooner to bear; which if the Crown shall +think fit to countenance, will soon change the present set of bishops, +and consequently encourage purchasers of their lands. For example, If a +Primate should die, and the gradation be wisely made, almost the whole +set of bishops might be changed in a month, each to his great advantage, +although no fines were to be got, and thereby save a great part of that +sum which I have appropriated towards supplying the deficiency of fines. + +I have valued the bishops' lands two years' purchase above the usual +computed rate, because those lands will have a sanction from the King +and Council in England, and be confirmed by an Act of Parliament here; +besides, it is well known, that higher prices are given every day, for +worse lands, at the remotest distances, and at rack rents, which I take +to be occasioned by want of trade, when there are few borrowers, and the +little money in private hands lying dead, there is no other way to +dispose of it but in buying of land, which consequently makes the owners +hold it so high. + +Besides paying the nation's debts, the sale of these lands would have +many other good effects upon the nation; it will considerably increase +the number of gentry, where the bishops' tenants are not able or willing +to purchase; for the lands will afford an hundred gentlemen a good +revenue to each; several persons from England will probably be glad to +come over hither, and be the buyers, rather than give thirty years' +purchase at home, under the loads of taxes for the public and the poor, +as well as repairs, by which means much money may be brought among us, +and probably some of the purchasers themselves may be content to live +cheap in a worse country, rather than be at the charge of exchange and +agencies, and perhaps of non-solvencies in absence, if they let their +lands too high. + +This proposal will also multiply farmers, when the purchasers will have +lands in their own power, to give long and easy leases to industrious +husbandmen. + +I have allowed some bishoprics of equal income to be of more or less +value to the purchaser, according as they are circumstanced. For +instance, The lands of the primacy and some other sees, are let so low, +that they hardly pay a fifth penny of the real value to the bishop, and +there the fines are the greater. On the contrary, the sees of Meath and +Clonfert, consisting, as I am told, much of tithes, those tithes are +annually let to the tenants without any fines. So the see of Dublin is +said to have many fee-farms which pay no fines, and some leases for +lives which pay very little, and not so soon nor so duly. + +I cannot but be confident, that their Graces my Lords the Archbishops, +and my Lords the Bishops will heartily join in this proposal, out of +gratitude to his late and present Majesty, the best of Kings, who have +bestowed such high and opulent stations, as well as in pity to this +country which is now become their own; whereby they will be instrumental +towards paying the nation's debts, without impoverishing themselves, +enrich an hundred gentlemen, as well as free them from dependence, and +thus remove that envy which is apt to fall upon their Graces and +Lordships from considerable persons, whose birth and fortunes rather +qualify them to be lords of manors, than servile dependants upon +Churchmen however dignified or distinguished. + +If I do not flatter myself, there could not be any law more popular than +this; for the immediate tenants to bishops, being some of them persons +of quality, and good estates, and more of them grown up to be gentlemen +by the profits of these very leases, under a succession of bishops, +think it a disgrace to be subject both to rents and fines, at the +pleasure of their landlords. Then the bulk of the tenants, especially +the dissenters, who are our loyal Protestant brethren, look upon it both +as an unnatural and iniquitous thing that bishops should be owners of +land at all; (wherein I beg to differ from them) being a point so +contrary to the practice of the Apostles, whose successors they are +deemed to be, and who although they were contented that land should be +sold, for the common use of the brethren, yet would not buy it +themselves, but had it laid at their feet, to be distributed to poor +proselytes. + +I will add one word more, that by such a wholesome law, all the +oppressions felt by under-tenants of Church leases, which are now laid +on by the bishops would entirely be prevented, by their Graces and +Lordships consenting to have their lands sold for payment of the +nation's debts, reserving only the present rent for their own plentiful +and honourable support. + +I beg leave to add one particular, that, when heads of a Bill (as I find +the style runs in this kingdom) shall be brought in for forming this +proposal into a law; I should humbly offer that there might be a power +given to every bishop (except those who reside in Dublin) for applying +one hundred acres of profitable land that lies nearest to his palace, as +a demesne for the conveniency of his family. + +I know very well, that this scheme hath been much talked of for some +time past, and is in the thoughts of many patriots, neither was it +properly mine, although I fell readily into it, when it was first +communicated to me. + +Though I am almost a perfect stranger in this kingdom, yet since I have +accepted an employment here, of some consequence as well as profit, I +cannot but think myself in duty bound to consult the interest of a +people, among whom I have been so well received. And if I can be any way +instrumental towards contributing to reduce this excellent proposal into +a law which being not in the least injurious to England, will, I am +confident, meet with no opposition from that side, my sincere endeavours +to serve this Church and kingdom will be well rewarded. + + + + +A CASE SUBMITTED BY DEAN SWIFT TO MR. LINDSAY, COUNSELLOR AT LAW.[172] + + +A. B. agent for J. S. comes to desire J. S. to sign an assignment of a +lease in order to be registered for the security of _38l._ J. S. asks +A. B. to show him the lease A. B. says he left it at home. J. S. asks the +said A. B. how many years of the lease are unexpired? what rent the +tenant pays, and how much below the rack value? and what number of acres +there are upon the farm? To each of which questions the agent A. B. +answers categorically, that he cannot tell, and that he did not think J. +would ask him such questions. The said A. B. was asked how he came two +years after the lease was assigned, and not sooner, to have it +registered. A. B. answers, that he could not sue till the assignment. + +Query, Whether the said agent A. B. made any one answer like a man of +business? + + + + +AN + +EXAMINATION + +OF + +CERTAIN ABUSES, CORRUPTIONS, AND ENORMITIES + +IN THE CITY OF DUBLIN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Like many of Swift's satirical writings the title of this tract is + no indication to its subject-matter. Whatever "abuses, corruptions + and enormities" may have been rife in the city of Dublin in Swift's + time, the pamphlet which follows certainly throws no light on them. + It is in no sense a social document. But it is a very amusing and + excellent piece of jeering at the fancied apprehensions that were + rife about the Pretender, the "disaffected" people, and the + Jacobites. It is aimed at the Whigs, who were continually using the + party cries of "No Popery," "Jacobitism," and the other cognate + expressions to distress their political opponents. At the same + time, these cries had their effects, and created a great deal of + mischief. The Roman Catholics, in particular, were cruelly treated + because of the anxiety for the Protestant succession, and among the + lower tradesmen, for whom such cries would be of serious meaning, a + petty persecution against their Roman Catholic fellow-tradesmen + continually prevailed. Monck Mason draws attention to some curious + instances. (See his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 399, + note y.) + + In the "Journals of the Irish House of Commons" (vol. ii., p. 77) + is the record of a petition presented in the year 1695, by the + Protestant porters of the city of Dublin, against one Darby Ryan, + "a papist and notoriously disaffected." This Ryan was complained of + for employing those of his own persuasion and affection to carry a + cargo of coals he had bought, to his own customers. The petitioners + complained that they, Protestants, were "debased and hindered from + their small trade and gains." Another set of petitioners was the + drivers of hackney coaches. They complained that, "before the late + trouble, they got a livelihood by driving coaches in and about the + city of Dublin, but since that time, so many papists had got + coaches, and drove them with such ordinary horses, that the + petitioners could hardly get bread.... They therefore prayed the + house that none but Protestant hackney-coachmen may have liberty to + keep and drive hackney-coaches." Swift may have had these instances + in his mind when he urges that the criers who cry their wares in + Dublin should be True Protestants, and should give security to the + government for permission to cry. + + In a country where such absurd complaints could be seriously + presented, and as seriously considered, a genuine apprehension must + have existed. The Whigs in making capital out of this existing + feeling stigmatized their Tory opponents as High Churchmen, and + therefore very little removed from Papists, and therefore + Jacobites. Of course there were no real grounds for such epithets, + but they indulged in them nevertheless, with the addition of + insinuations and suggestions--no insinuation being too feeble or + too far-fetched so long as it served. + + Swift, writing in the person of a Whig, affects extreme anxiety for + the most ridiculous of signs, and finds a Papist, or a Jacobite, + or a disaffected person, in the least likely of places. The tract, + in this light, is a really amusing piece. Swift takes the + opportunity also to hit Walpole, under a pretended censure of his + extravagance, corruption, and avarice. + + * * * * * + + The text here given of this tract is based on that of the original + edition issued in Dublin in 1732. The last paragraph, however, does + not appear in that edition, and is reprinted here from Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +AN + +EXAMINATION + +OF CERTAIN + +_Abuses, Corruptions,_ + +AND + +_ENORMITIES_ + +IN THE + +City of _DUBLIN_. + +[Illustration] + +_Dublin_: Printed in the Year 1732. + + + + +Nothing is held more commendable in all great cities, especially the +metropolis of a kingdom, than what the French call the police; by which +word is meant the government thereof, to prevent the many disorders +occasioned by great numbers of people and carriages, especially through +narrow streets. In this government our famous City of Dublin is said to +be very defective, and universally complained of. Many wholesome laws +have been enacted to correct those abuses, but are ill executed; and +many more are wanting, which I hope the united wisdom of the nation +(whereof so many good effects have already appeared this session) will +soon take into their most profound consideration. + +As I have been always watchful over the good of mine own country, and +particularly for that of our renowned city, where (_absit invidia_) I +had the honour to draw my first breath[173]; I cannot have a minute's +ease or patience to forbear enumerating some of the greatest enormities, +abuses, and corruptions, spread almost through every part of Dublin; and +proposing such remedies as, I hope, the legislature will approve of. + +The narrow compass to which I have confined myself in this paper, will +allow me only to touch at the most important defects, and such as I +think seem to require the most speedy redress. + +And first, perhaps there was never known a wiser institution than that +of allowing certain persons of both sexes, in large and populous cities, +to cry through the streets many necessaries of life; it would be endless +to recount the conveniences which our city enjoys by this useful +invention, and particularly strangers, forced hither by business, who +reside here but a short time; for, these having usually but little +money, and being wholly ignorant of the town, might at an easy price +purchase a tolerable dinner, if the several criers would pronounce the +names of the goods they have to sell, in any tolerable language. And +therefore till our law-makers shall think it proper to interpose so far +as to make these traders pronounce their words in such terms, that a +plain Christian hearer may comprehend what is cried, I would advise all +new comers to look out at their garret windows, and there see whether +the thing that is cried be tripes or flummery, butter-milk or cow-heels. +For, as things are now managed, how is it possible for an honest +countryman, just arrived, to find out what is meant, for instance, by +the following words, with which his ears are constantly stunned twice a +day, "Mugs, jugs and porringers, up in the garret, and down in the +cellar." I say, how is it possible for any stranger to understand that +this jargon is meant as an invitation to buy a farthing's worth of milk +for his breakfast or supper, unless his curiosity draws him to the +window, or till his landlady shall inform him. I produce this only as +one instance, among a hundred much worse, I mean where the words make a +sound wholly inarticulate, which give so much disturbance, and so little +information. + +The affirmation solemnly made in the cry of herrings, is directly +against all truth and probability, "Herrings alive, alive here." The +very proverb will convince us of this; for what is more frequent in +ordinary speech, than to say of some neighbour for whom the passing-bell +rings, that he is dead as a herring. And, pray how is it possible, that +a herring, which as philosophers observe, cannot live longer than one +minute, three seconds and a half out of water, should bear a voyage in +open boats from Howth to Dublin, be tossed into twenty hands, and +preserve its life in sieves for several hours. Nay, we have witnesses +ready to produce, that many thousands of these herrings, so impudently +asserted to be alive, have been a day and a night upon dry land. But +this is not the worst. What can we think of those impious wretches, who +dare in the face of the sun, vouch the very same affirmative of their +salmon, and cry, "Salmon alive, alive;" whereas, if you call the woman +who cries it, she is not ashamed to turn back her mantle, and shew you +this individual salmon cut into a dozen pieces. I have given good advice +to these infamous disgracers of their sex and calling, without the least +appearance of remorse, and fully against the conviction of their own +consciences. I have mentioned this grievance to several of our parish +ministers, but all in vain; so that it must continue until the +government shall think fit to interpose. + +There is another cry, which, from the strictest observation I can make, +appears to be very modern, and it is that of sweethearts,[174] and is +plainly intended for a reflection upon the female sex, as if there were +at present so great a dearth of lovers, that the women instead of +receiving presents from men, were now forced to offer money, to purchase +sweethearts. Neither am I sure, that the cry doth not glance at some +disaffection against the government; insinuating, that while so many of +our troops are engaged in foreign service, and such a great number of +our gallant officers constantly reside in England, the ladies are forced +to take up with parsons and attorneys: But, this is a most unjust +reflection, as may soon be proved by any person who frequents the +Castle, our public walks, our balls and assemblies, where the crowds of +_toupees_[175] were never known to swarm as they do at present. + +There is a cry, peculiar to this City, which I do not remember to have +been used in London, or at least, not in the same terms that it has been +practised by both parties, during each of their power; but, very +unjustly by the Tories. While these were at the helm, they grew daily +more and more impatient to put all true Whigs and Hanoverians out of +employments. To effect which, they hired certain ordinary fellows, with +large baskets on their shoulders, to call aloud at every house, "Dirt to +carry out;" giving that denomination to our whole party, as if they +would signify, that the kingdom could never be cleansed, till we were +swept from the earth like rubbish. But, since that happy turn of times, +when we were so miraculously preserved by just an inch, from Popery, +slavery, massacre, and the Pretender, I must own it prudence in us, +still to go on with the same cry, which hath ever since been so +effectually observed, that the true political dirt is wholly removed, +and thrown on its proper dunghills, there to corrupt, and be no more +heard of. + +But, to proceed to other enormities: Every person who walks the streets, +must needs observe the immense number of human excrements at the doors +and steps of waste houses, and at the sides of every dead wall; for +which the disaffected party have assigned a very false and malicious +cause. They would have it, that these heaps were laid there privately by +British fundaments, to make the world believe, that our Irish vulgar do +daily eat and drink; and, consequently, that the clamour of poverty +among us, must be false, proceeding only from Jacobites and Papists. +They would confirm this, by pretending to observe, that a British anus +being more narrowly perforated than one of our own country; and many of +these excrements upon a strict view appearing copple crowned, with a +point like a cone or pyramid, are easily distinguished from the +Hibernian, which lie much flatter, and with lest continuity. I +communicated this conjecture to an eminent physician, who is well versed +in such profound speculations; and at my request was pleased to make +trial with each of his fingers, by thrusting them into the anus of +several persons of both nations, and professed he could find no such +difference between them as those ill-disposed people allege. On the +contrary, he assured me, that much the greater number of narrow cavities +were of Hibernian origin. This I only mention to shew how ready the +Jacobites are to lay hold of any handle to express their malice against +the government. I had almost forgot to add, that my friend the physician +could, by smelling each finger, distinguish the Hibernian excrement from +the British, and was not above twice mistaken in an hundred experiments; +upon which he intends very soon to publish a learned dissertation. + +There is a diversion in this City, which usually begins among the +butchers, but is often continued by a succession of other people, +through many streets. It is called the COSSING of a dog; and I may +justly number it among our corruptions. The ceremony is this: A strange +dog happens to pass through a flesh-market; whereupon an expert butcher +immediately cries in a loud voice, and the proper tone, "Coss, coss," +several times: The same word is repeated by the people. The dog, who +perfectly understands the terms of art, and consequently the danger he +is in, immediately flies. The people, and even his own brother animals +pursue; the pursuit and cry attend him perhaps half a mile; he is well +worried in his flight, and sometimes hardly escapes. This, our +ill-wishers of the Jacobite kind, are pleased to call a persecution; and +affirm, that it always falls upon dogs of the Tory principle. But, we +can well defend ourselves, by justly alleging that when they were +uppermost, they treated our dogs full as inhumanly: As to my own part, +who have in former times often attended these processions, although I +can very well distinguish between a Whig and Tory dog, yet I never +carried my resentments very far upon a party principle, except it were +against certain malicious dogs, who most discovered their malice against +us in the _worst of times_.[176] And, I remember too well, that in the +wicked ministry of the Earl of Oxford, a large mastiff of our party +being unmercifully cossed, ran, without thinking, between my legs, as I +was coming up Fishamble Street; and, as I am of low stature, with very +short legs, bore me riding backwards down the hill, for above two +hundred yards: And, although I made use of his tail for a bridle, +holding it fast with both my hands, and clung my legs as close to his +sides as I could, yet we both came down together into the middle of the +kennel; where after rolling three or four times over each other, I got +up with much ado, amid the shouts and huzzas of a thousand malicious +Jacobites: I cannot, indeed, but gratefully acknowledge, that for this +and many other services and sufferings, I have been since more than +over-paid. + +This adventure may, perhaps, have put me out of love with the diversions +of cossing, which I confess myself an enemy to, unless we could always +be sure of distinguishing Tory dogs; whereof great numbers have since +been so prudent, as entirely to change their principles, and are now +justly esteemed the best worriers of their former friends. + +I am assured, and partly know, that all the chimney-sweepers' boys, +where Members of Parliament chiefly lodge, are hired by our enemies to +skulk in the tops of chimneys, with their heads no higher than will just +permit them to look round; and at the usual hours when members are going +to the House, if they see a coach stand near the lodging of any loyal +member, they call "Coach, coach," as loud as they can bawl, just at the +instant when the footman begins to give the same call. And this is +chiefly done on those days, when any point of importance is to be +debated. This practice may be of very dangerous consequence. For, these +boys are all hired by enemies to the government; and thus, by the +absence of a few members for a few minutes, a question may be carried +against the true interest of the kingdom, and very probably, not without +any eye toward the Pretender. + +I have not observed the wit and fancy of this town, so much employed in +any one article, as that of contriving variety of signs to hang over +houses, where punch is to be sold. The bowl is represented full of +punch, the ladle stands erect in the middle, supported sometimes by one, +and sometimes by two animals, whose feet rest upon the edge of the bowl. +These animals are sometimes one black lion, and sometimes a couple; +sometimes a single eagle, and sometimes a spread one, and we often meet +a crow, a swan, a bear, or a cock, in the same posture. + +Now, I cannot find how any of these animals, either separate, or in +conjunction, are properly speaking, either fit emblems or +embellishments, to advance the sale of punch. Besides, it is agreed +among naturalists, that no brute can endure the taste of strong liquor, +except where he hath been used to it from his infancy: And, +consequently, it is against all the rules of hieroglyph, to assign those +animals as patrons, or protectors of punch. For, in that case, we ought +to suppose, that the host keeps always ready the real bird, or beast, +whereof the picture hangs over his door, to entertain his guest; which, +however, to my knowledge, is not true in fact. For not one of those +birds is a proper companion for a Christian, as to aiding and assisting +in making the punch. For the birds, as they are drawn upon the sign, are +much more likely to mute, or shed their feathers into the liquor. Then, +as to the bear, he is too terrible, awkward, and slovenly a companion to +converse with; neither are any of them at all, handy enough to fill +liquor to the company: I do, therefore, vehemently suspect a plot +intended against the Government, by these devices. For, although the +spread-eagle be the arms of Germany, upon which account it may possibly +be a lawful Protestant sign; yet I, who am very suspicious of fair +outsides, in a matter which so nearly concerns our welfare, cannot but +call to mind, that the Pretender's wife is said to be of German birth: +And that many Popish Princes, in so vast an extent of land, are reported +to excel both at making and drinking punch. Besides, it is plain, that +the spread-eagle exhibits to us the perfect figure of a cross, which is +a badge of Popery. Then, as to the cock, he is well known to represent +the French nation, our old and dangerous enemy. The swan, who must of +necessity cover the entire bowl with his wings, can be no other than the +Spaniard, who endeavours to engross all the treasures of the Indies to +himself. The lion is indeed, the common emblem of Royal power, as well +as the arms of England; but to paint him black, is perfect Jacobitism, +and a manifest type of those who blacken the actions of the best +Princes. It is not easy to distinguish, whether the other fowl painted +over the punch-bowl, be a crow or raven? It is true, they have both been +held ominous birds; but I rather take it to be the former; because it is +the disposition of a crow, to pick out the eyes of other creatures; and +often even of Christians, after they are dead; and is therefore drawn +here, with a design to put the Jacobites in mind of their old practice, +first to lull us asleep, (which is an emblem of Death) and then to blind +our eyes, that we may not see their dangerous practices against the +State. + +To speak my private opinion, the least offensive picture in the whole +set, seems to be the bear; because he represents _ursa major_, or the +Great Bear, who presides over the North, where the Reformation first +began, and which, next to Britain, (including Scotland and the north of +Ireland) is the great protector of the Protestant religion. But, +however, in those signs where I observe the bear to be chained, I can't +help surmising a Jacobite contrivance, by which these traitors hint an +earnest desire of using all true Whigs, as the predecessors did the +primitive Christians; I mean, to represent us as bears, and then halloo +their Tory dogs to bait us to death. + +Thus I have given a fair account of what I dislike, in all those signs +set over those houses that invite us to punch: I own it was a matter +that did not need explaining, being so very obvious to the most common +understanding. Yet, I know not how it happens, but methinks there seems +a fatal blindness, to overspread our corporeal eyes, as well as our +intellectual; and I heartily wish, I may be found a false prophet; for, +these are not bare suspicions, but manifest demonstrations. + +Therefore, away with those Popish, Jacobite, and idolatrous gew-gaws. +And I heartily wish a law were enacted, under severe penalties, against +drinking any punch at all. For nothing is easier, than to prove it a +disaffected liquor. The chief ingredients, which are brandy, oranges, +and lemons, are all sent us from Popish countries; and nothing remains +of Protestant growth but sugar and water. For, as to biscuit, which +formerly was held a necessary ingredient, and is truly British, we find +it is entirely rejected. + +But I will put the truth of my assertion, past all doubt: I mean, that +this liquor is by one important innovation, grown of ill example, and +dangerous consequence to the public. It is well known, that, by the true +original institution of making punch, left us by Captain Ratcliffe, the +sharpness is only occasioned by the juice of lemons, and so continued +till after the happy Revolution. Oranges, alas! are a mere innovation, +and in a manner but of yesterday. It was the politics of Jacobites to +introduce them gradually: And, to what intent? The thing speaks itself. +It was cunningly to shew their virulence against his sacred Majesty King +William, of ever glorious and immortal memory. But of late, (to shew how +fast disloyalty increaseth) they came from one or two, and then to three +oranges; nay, at present we often find punch made all with oranges, and +not one single lemon. For the Jacobites, before the death of that +immortal Prince, had, by a superstition, formed a private prayer, that, +as they squeezed the orange, so might that Protestant King be squeezed +to death[177]: According to that known sorcery described by Virgil, + + Limus ut hic durescit, et haec ut cera liquescit, &c. + [Ecl. viii. 80.] + +And, thus the Romans, when they sacrificed an ox, used this kind of +prayer. "As I knock down this ox, so may thou, O Jupiter, knock down our +enemies." In like manner, after King William's death, whenever a +Jacobite squeezed an orange, he had a mental curse upon the "glorious +memory," and a hearty wish for power to squeeze all his Majesty's +friends to death, as he squeezed that orange, which bore one of his +titles, as he was Prince of Orange. This I do affirm for truth; many of +that faction having confessed it to me, under an oath of secrecy; which, +however, I thought it my duty not to keep, when I saw my dear country in +danger. But, what better can be expected from an impious set of men, who +never scruple to drink _confusion_ to all true Protestants, under the +name of Whigs? a most unchristian and inhuman practice, which, to our +great honour and comfort, was never charged upon us, even by our most +malicious detractors. + +The sign of two angels, hovering in the air, and with their right hands +supporting a crown, is met with in several parts of this city; and hath +often given me great offence: For, whether by the unskilfulness, or +dangerous principles of the painters, (although I have good reasons to +suspect the latter) those angels are usually drawn with such horrid +countenances, that they give great offence to every loyal eye, and equal +cause of triumph to the Jacobites being a most infamous reflection upon +our most able and excellent ministry. + +I now return to that great enormity of our city cries; most of which we +have borrowed from London. I shall consider them only in a political +view, as they nearly affect the peace and safety of both kingdoms; and +having been originally contrived by wicked Machiavels, to bring in +Popery, slavery, and arbitrary power, by defeating the Protestant +Succession, and introducing the Pretender, ought, in justice, to be here +laid open to the world. + +About two or three months after the happy Revolution, all persons who +possessed any employment, or office, in Church or State, were obliged by +an Act of Parliament, to take the oaths to King William and Queen Mary: +And a great number of disaffected persons, refusing to take the said +oaths, from a pretended scruple of conscience, but really from a spirit +of Popery and rebellion, they contrived a plot, to make the swearing to +those Princes odious in the eyes of the people. To this end, they hired +certain women of ill fame, but loud shrill voices, under pretence of +selling fish, to go through the streets, with sieves on their heads, and +cry, "Buy my soul, buy my soul;" plainly insinuating, that all those who +swore to King William, were just ready to sell their souls for an +employment. This cry was revived at the death of Queen Anne, and, I +hear, still continues in London, with great offence to all true +Protestants; but, to our great happiness, seems to be almost dropped in +Dublin. + +But, because I altogether contemn the displeasure and resentment of +high-fliers, Tories, and Jacobites, whom I look upon to be worse even +than professed Papists, I do here declare, that those evils which I am +going to mention, were all brought in upon us in the _worst of times_, +under the late Earl of Oxford's administration, during the four last +years of Queen Anne's reign. _That wicked minister was universally known +to be a Papist in his heart. He was of a most avaricious nature, and is +said to have died worth four millions, sterl.[178] besides his vast +expenses in building, statues, gold plate, jewels, and other costly +rarities. He was of a mean obscure birth, from the very dregs of the +people, and so illiterate, that he could hardly read a paper at the +council table. I forbear to touch at his open, profane, profligate life; +because I desire not to rake into the ashes of the dead, and therefore +I shall observe this wise maxim:_ De mortuis nil nisi bonum. + +This flagitious man, in order to compass his black designs, employed +certain wicked instruments (which great statesmen are never without) to +adapt several London cries, in such a manner as would best answer his +ends. And, whereas it was upon grounds grievously suspected, that all +places at Court were sold to the highest bidder: Certain women were +employed by his emissaries, to carry fish in baskets on their heads, and +bawl through the streets, "Buy my fresh places." I must, indeed, own +that other women used the same cry, who were innocent of this wicked +design, and really sold their fish of that denomination to get an honest +livelihood; but the rest, who were in the secret, although they carried +fish in their sieves or baskets, to save appearances; yet they had +likewise, a certain sign, somewhat resembling that of the free-masons, +which the purchasers of places knew well enough, and were directed by +the women whither they were to resort, and make their purchase. And, I +remember very well, how oddly it looked, when we observed many gentlemen +finely dressed, about the Court end of the town, and as far as York +Buildings, where the Lord Treasurer Oxford dwelt, calling the women who +cried "Buy my fresh places," and talking to them in the corner of a +street, after they understood each other's sign: But we never could +observe that any fish was bought. + +Some years before the cries last mentioned, the Duke of Savoy was +reported to have made certain overtures to the Court of England, for +admitting his eldest son by the Duchess of Orleans's daughter, to +succeed to the Crown, as next heir, upon the Pretender's being rejected, +and that son was immediately to turn Protestant. It was confidently +reported, that great numbers of people disaffected to the then +illustrious but now Royal House of Hanover, were in those measures. +Whereupon another set of women were hired by the Jacobite leaders, to +cry through the whole town, "Buy my Savoys, dainty Savoys, curious +Savoys." But, I cannot directly charge the late Earl of Oxford with this +conspiracy, because he was not then chief Minister. However, the wicked +cry still continues in London, and was brought over hither, where it +remains to this day, and in my humble opinion, a very offensive sound to +every true Protestant, who is old enough to remember those dangerous +times. + +During the Ministry of that corrupt and Jacobite earl above-mentioned, +the secret pernicious design of those in power, was to sell Flanders to +France; the consequence of which, must have been the infallible ruin of +the States-General, and would have opened the way for France to obtain +that universal monarchy, after which they have so long aspired; to which +the British dominions must next, after Holland, have been compelled to +submit, and the Protestant religion would be rooted out of the world. + +A design of this vast importance, after long consultation among the +Jacobite grandees, with the Earl of Oxford at their head, was at last +determined to be carried on by the same method with the former; it was +therefore again put in practice; but the conduct of it was chiefly left +to chosen men, whose voices were louder and stronger than those of the +other sex. And upon this occasion, was first instituted in London, that +famous cry of "FLOUNDERS." But the criers were particularly +directed to pronounce the word "Flaunders," and not "Flounders." For, +the country which we now by corruption call Flanders, is in its true +orthography spelt Flaunders, as may be obvious to all who read old +English books. I say, from hence begun that thundering cry, which hath +ever since stunned the ears of all London, made so many children fall +into fits, and women miscarry; "Come buy my fresh flaunders, curious +flaunders, charming flaunders, alive, alive, ho;" which last words can +with no propriety of speech be applied to fish manifestly dead, (as I +observed before in herrings and salmon) but very justly to ten +provinces, which contain many millions of living Christians. And the +application is still closer, when we consider that all the people were +to be taken like fishes in a net; and, by assistance of the Pope, who +sets up to be the universal Fisher of Men, the whole innocent nation, +was, according to our common expression, to be "laid as flat as a +flounder." + +I remember, myself, a particular crier of flounders in London, who +arrived at so much fame for the loudness of his voice, that he had the +honour to be mentioned upon that account, in a comedy. He hath +disturbed me many a morning, before he came within fifty doors of my +lodging. And although I were not in those days so fully apprized of the +designs, which our common enemy had then in agitation, yet, I know not +how, by a secret impulse, young as I was, I could not forbear conceiving +a strong dislike against the fellow; and often said to myself, "This cry +seems to be forged in the Jesuits' school. Alas, poor England! I am +grievously mistaken if there be not some Popish Plot at the bottom." I +communicated my thoughts to an intimate friend, who reproached me with +being too visionary in my speculations: But, it proved afterwards, that +I conjectured right. And I have often since reflected, that if the +wicked faction could have procured only a thousand men, of as strong +lungs as the fellow I mentioned, none can tell how terrible the +consequences might have been, not only to these two Kingdoms, but over +all Europe, by selling Flanders to France. And yet these cries continue +unpunished, both in London and Dublin, although I confess, not with +equal vehemency or loudness, because the reason for contriving this +desperate plot, is, to our great felicity, wholly ceased. + +It is well known, that the majority of the British House of Commons in +the last years of Queen Anne's reign, were in their hearts directly +opposite to the Earl of Oxford's pernicious measures; which put him +under the necessity of bribing them with salaries. Whereupon he had +again recourse to his old politics. And accordingly, his emissaries were +very busy in employing certain artful women of no good life or +conversation, (as it was fully proved before Justice Peyton) to cry that +vegetable commonly called celery, through the town. These women differed +from the common criers of that herb, by some private mark which I could +never learn; but the matter was notorious enough, and sufficiently +talked of, and about the same period was the cry of celery brought over +into this kingdom. But since there is not at this present, the least +occasion to suspect the loyalty of our criers upon that article, I am +content that it may still be tolerated. + +I shall mention but one cry more, which hath any reference to politics; +but is indeed, of all others the most insolent, as well as treasonable, +under our present happy Establishment. I mean that of turnups; not of +turnips, according to the best orthography, but absolutely turnups. +Although this cry be of an older date than some of the preceding +enormities, for it began soon after the Revolution; yet was it never +known to arrive at so great a height, as during the Earl of Oxford's +power. Some people, (whom I take to be private enemies) are, indeed, as +ready as myself to profess their disapprobation of this cry, on pretence +that it began by the contrivance of certain old procuresses, who kept +houses of ill-fame, where lewd women met to draw young men into vice. +And this they pretend to prove by some words in the cry; because, after +the crier had bawled out, "Turnups, ho, buy my dainty turnups," he would +sometimes add the two following verses:-- + + "Turn up the mistress, and turn up the maid, + And turn up the daughter, and be not afraid." + +This, say some political sophists, plainly shews that there can be +nothing further meant in this infamous cry, than an invitation to +lewdness, which indeed, ought to be severely punished in all +well-regulated Governments; but cannot be fairly interpreted as a crime +of State. But, I hope, we are not so weak and blind to be deluded at +this time of day, with such poor evasions. I could, if it were proper, +demonstrate the very time when those two verses were composed, and name +the author, who was no other than the famous Mr. Swan, so well known for +his talent at quibbling, and was as virulent a Jacobite as any in +England. Neither could he deny the fact, when he was taxed for it in my +presence by Sir Harry Button-Colt, and Colonel Davenport, at the Smyrna +coffee-house, on the 10th of June, 1701. Thus it appears to a +demonstration, that those verses were only a blind to conceal the most +dangerous designs of that party, who from the first years after the +happy Revolution, used a cant way of talking in their clubs after this +manner: "We hope, to see the cards shuffled once more, and another king +TURN UP trump:" And, "When shall we meet over a dish of +TURNUPS?" The same term of art was used in their plots against +the government, and in their treasonable letters writ in ciphers, and +deciphered by the famous Dr. Wallis, as you may read in the trials of +those times. This I thought fit to set forth at large, and in so clear +a light, because the Scotch and French authors have given a very +different account of the word TURNUP, but whether out of +ignorance or partiality I shall not decree; because I am sure, the +reader is convinced by my discovery. It is to be observed, that this cry +was sung in a particular manner by fellows in disguise, to give notice +where those traitors were to meet, in order to concert their villainous +designs. + +I have no more to add upon this article, than an humble proposal, that +those who cry this root at present in our streets of Dublin, may be +compelled by the justices of the peace, to pronounce turnip, and not +turnup; for, I am afraid, we have still too many snakes in our bosom; +and it would be well if their cellars were sometimes searched, when the +owners least expect it; for I am not out of fear that _latet anguis in +herba_. + +Thus, we are zealous in matters of small moment, while we neglect those +of the highest importance. I have already made it manifest, that all +these cries were contrived in the _worst of times_, under the ministry +of that desperate statesman, Robert, late Earl of Oxford, and for that +very reason ought to be rejected with horror, as begun in the reign of +Jacobites, and may well be numbered among the rags of Popery and +treason: Or if it be thought proper, that these cries must continue, +surely they ought to be only trusted in the hands of true Protestants, +who have given security to the government. + +[Having already spoken of many abuses relating to signposts, I cannot +here omit one more, because it plainly relates to politics; and is, +perhaps, of more dangerous consequence than any of the city cries, +because it directly tends to destroy the succession. It is the sign of +his present Majesty King George the Second, to be met with in many +streets; and yet I happen to be not only the first, but the only, +discoverer of this audacious instance of Jacobitism. And I am confident, +that, if the justices of the peace would please to make a strict +inspection, they might find, in all such houses, before which those +signs are hung up in the manner I have observed, that the landlords were +malignant Papists, or, which is worse, notorious Jacobites. Whoever +views those signs, may read, over his Majesty's head, the following +letters and ciphers, G. R. II., which plainly signifies George, King the +Second, and not King George the Second, or George the Second, King; but +laying the point after the letter G, by which the owner of the house +manifestly shews, that he renounces his allegiance to King George the +Second, and allows him to be only the second king, _inuendo_, that the +Pretender is the first king; and looking upon King George to be only a +kind of second king, or viceroy, till the Pretender shall come over and +seize the kingdom. I appeal to all mankind, whether this be a strained +or forced interpretation of the inscription, as it now stands in almost +every street; whether any decipherer would make the least doubt or +hesitation to explain it as I have done; whether any other Protestant +country would endure so public an instance of treason in the capital +city from such vulgar conspirators; and, lastly, whether Papists and +Jacobites of great fortunes and quality may not probably stand behind +the curtain in this dangerous, open, and avowed design against the +government. But I have performed my duty; and leave the reforming of +these abuses to the wisdom, the vigilance, the loyalty, and activity of +my superiors.][179] + + + + +A SERIOUS AND USEFUL SCHEME + +TO MAKE AN + +HOSPITAL FOR INCURABLES. + + + + + NOTE. + + + This piece, included by Sir Walter Scott for the first time among + Swift's writings, was, in the opinion of that editor, indisputably + the work of the Dean of St. Patrick's. The present editor sees no + reason to disagree with this judgement, and it is therefore + reprinted here. The original issue of 1733, printed by Faulkner + contained also Swift's "Petition of the Footmen in and about + Dublin," and had a lengthy advertisement of the Complete Works of + Swift which Faulkner was, at that time, projecting. It is + difficult, however, to understand why the tract was not included in + later editions of Swift's complete works. Sir Walter Scott puts + forward an explanation suggested by Dr. Barrett, who believed the + reason to have been, that this "_jeu d'esprit_ might be interpreted + as casting a slur on an hospital erected upon Lazors-Hill, now on + the Donny-Brook road near Dublin, for the reception of persons + afflicted with incurable maladies." The reason seems a poor one, + though it may have been as Dr. Barrett states. A better argument + might be found from the style and subject matter of the tract + itself. The style is strongly Swift's, and the subject of such an + hospital must certainly have occupied Swift's thoughts at this + time, since he left his fortune for the erection of a similar + building. + + * * * * * + + The text of the present edition is based on that of the volume + issued by Faulkner in 1733, compared with the Dublin reprint of the + following year. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +SERIOUS and USEFUL + +SCHEME, + +To make an + +Hospital for Incurables, + +OF + +Universal Benefit to all His Majesty's Subjects. + + * * * * * + +Humbly addressed to the Rt. Hon. the Lord ----, the Rt. Hon. Sir ----, and +to the Rt. Hon. ----, Esq; + + * * * * * + +To which is added, + +A Petition of the Footmen in and about _Dublin_. + + * * * * * + +_Faecunda Culpae Secula!_--Hor. + + * * * * * + +Printed at _LONDON_: And, + +_DUBLIN_: + +Printed by _GEORGE FAULKNER_, and Sold at his Shop in _Essex Street_, +opposite to the _Bridge_, and by _G. Risk_, _G. Ewing_ and _W. Smith_, +Booksellers in _Dame-Street_, 1733. + + + + +There is not any thing which contributes more to the reputation of +particular persons, or to the honour of a nation in general, than +erecting and endowing proper edifices, for the reception of those who +labour under different kinds of distress. The diseased and unfortunate +are thereby delivered from the misery of wanting assistance; and others +are delivered from the misery of beholding them. + +It is certain, that the genius of the people of England is strongly +turned to public charities; and to so noble a degree, that almost in +every part of this great and opulent city, and also in many of the +adjacent villages, we meet with a great variety of hospitals, supported +by the generous contributions of private families, as well as by the +liberality of the public. Some for seamen worn out in the service of +their country, and others for infirm disabled soldiers; some for the +maintenance of tradesmen decayed, and others for their widows and +orphans; some for the service of those who linger under tedious +distempers, and others for such as are deprived of their reason. + +But I find, upon nice inspection, that there is one kind of charity +almost totally disregarded, which, nevertheless, appears to me of so +excellent a nature, as to be at present more wanted, and better +calculated for the ease, quietness, and felicity of this whole kingdom, +than any other can possibly be. I mean an hospital for incurables. + +I must indeed confess, that an endowment of this nature would prove a +very large and perpetual expense. However, I have not the least +diffidence, that I shall be able effectually to convince the world that +my present scheme for such an hospital is very practicable, and must be +very desirable by every one who hath the interest of his country, or his +fellow-creatures, really at heart. + +It is observable, that, although the bodies of human creatures be +affected with an infinite variety of disorders, which elude the power of +medicine, and are often found to be incurable, yet their minds are also +overrun with an equal variety, which no skill, no power, no medicine, +can alter or amend. And I think, that, out of regard to the public peace +and emolument, as well as the repose of many pious and valuable +families, this latter species of incurables ought principally to engage +our attention and beneficence. + +I believe an Hospital for such Incurables will be universally allowed +necessary, if we only consider what numbers of absolute incurables every +profession, rank, and degree, would perpetually produce, which, at +present, are only national grievances, and of which we can have no other +effectual method to purge the kingdom. + +For instance; let any man seriously consider what numbers there are of +incurable fools, incurable knaves, incurable scolds, incurable +scribblers, (besides myself,) incurable coxcombs, incurable infidels, +incurable liars, incurable whores, in all places of public resort:--not +to mention the incurably vain, incurably envious, incurably proud, +incurably affected, incurably impertinent, and ten thousand other +incurables, which I must of necessity pass over in silence, lest I +should swell this essay into a volume. And without doubt, every +unprejudiced person will agree, that, out of mere Christian charity, the +public ought to be eased as much as possible of this troublesome and +intolerable variety of incurables. + +And first, Under the denomination of incurable fools, we may reasonably +expect, that such an hospital would be furnished with considerable +numbers of the growth of our own universities; who, at present, appear +in various professions in the world, under the venerable titles of +physicians, barristers, and ecclesiastics. + +And as those ancient seminaries have been, for some years past, +accounted little better than nurseries of such sort of incurables, it +should seem highly commendable to make some kind of provision for them; +because it is more than probable, that, if they are to be supported by +their own particular merit in their several callings, they must +necessarily acquire but a very indifferent maintenance. + +I would not, willingly, be here suspected to cast reflections on any +order of men, as if I thought that small gains from the profession of +any art or science, were always an undoubted sign of an equally small +degree of understanding; for I profess myself to be somewhat inclined to +a very opposite opinion, having frequently observed, that at the bar, +the pulse, and the pulpit, those who have the least learning or sense to +plead, meet generally with the largest share of promotions and profit: +of which many instances might be produced; but the public seems to want +no conviction in this particular. + +Under the same denominations we may further expect a large and +ridiculous quantity of old rich widows; whose eager and impatient +appetites inflame them with extravagant passions for fellows of a very +different age and complexion from themselves; who purchase contempt and +aversion with good jointures; and being loaded with years, infirmities, +and probably ill humour, are forced to bribe into their embraces such +whose fortunes and characters are equally desperate. + +Besides, our collection of incurable fools would receive an incredible +addition from every one of the following articles. + +From young extravagant heirs; who are just of a competent age to become +the bubbles of jockeys, sportsmen, gamesters, bullies, sharpers, +courtesans, and such sort of honourable pickpockets. + +From misers; who half starve themselves to feed the prodigality of their +heirs, and who proclaim to the world how unworthy they are of possessing +estates, by the wretched and ridiculous methods they take to enjoy them. + +From contentious people, of all conditions; who are content to waste the +greatest part of their own fortunes at law, to be the instruments of +impoverishing others. + +From those who have any confidence in profession of friendship, before +trial; or any dependence on the fidelity of a mistress. + +From young illiterate squires, who travel abroad to import lewdness, +conceit, arrogance, vanity, and foppery; of which commodities there +seems to be so great an abundance at home. + +From young clergymen; who contrive, by matrimony, to acquire a family, +before they have obtained the necessary means to maintain one. + +From those who have considerable estates in different kingdoms, and yet +are so incurably stupid as to spend their whole incomes in this. + +These, and several other articles which might be mentioned, would afford +us a perpetual opportunity of easing the public, by having an hospital +for the accommodation of such incurables; who, at present, either by the +over-fondness of near relations, or the indolence of the magistrates, +are permitted to walk abroad, and appear in the most crowded places of +this city, as if they were indeed reasonable creatures. + +I had almost forgot to hint, that, under this article, there is a modest +probability that many of the clergy would be found properly qualified +for admittance into the hospital, who might serve in the capacity of +chaplains, and save the unnecessary expense of salaries. + +To these fools, in order succeed such as may justly be included under +the extensive denomination of incurable knaves; of which our several +Inns of Court would constantly afford us abundant supplies. + +I think indeed, that, of this species of incurables, there ought to be a +certain limited number annually admitted; which number, neither any +regard to the quiet or benefit of the nation, nor any other charitable +or public-spirited reason, should tempt us to exceed; because, if all +were to be admitted on such a foundation, who might be reputed incurable +of this distemper; and if it were possible for the public to find any +place large enough for their reception; I have not the least doubt, that +all our Inns, which are at this day so crowded, would in a short time be +emptied of their inhabitants; and the law, that beneficial craft, want +hands to conduct it. + +I tremble to think what herds of attorneys, solicitors, pettifoggers, +scriveners, usurers, hackney-clerks, pickpockets, pawn-brokers, jailors, +and justices of the peace, would hourly be driven to such an hospital; +and what disturbance it might also create in several noble and wealthy +families. + +What unexpected distress might it prove to several men of fortune and +quality, to be suddenly deprived of their rich stewards, in whom they +had for many years reposed the utmost confidence, and to find them +irrecoverably lodged among such a collection of incurables! + +How many orphans might then expect to see their guardians hurried away +to the hospital; and how many greedy executors find reason to lament the +want of opportunity to pillage! + +Would not Exchange Alley have cause to mourn for the loss of its +stock-jobbers and brokers; and the Charitable Corporation for the +confinement of many of its directors? + +Might not Westminster-Hall, as well as all the gaming-houses in this +great city, be entirely unpeopled; and the professors of art in each of +those assemblies become useless in their vocations, by being deprived of +all future opportunity to be dishonest? + +In short, it might put the whole kingdom into confusion and disorder; +and we should find that the entire revenues of this nation would be +scarce able to support so great a number of incurables, in this way, as +would appear qualified for admission into our hospital. + +For if we only consider how this kingdom swarms with quadrille-tables, +and gaming-houses, both public and private; and also how each of those +houses, as well as Westminster-Hall aforesaid, swarms with knaves who +are anxious to win, or fools who have anything to lose; we may be soon +convinced how necessary it will be to limit the number of incurables, +comprehended under these titles, lest the foundation should prove +insufficient to maintain any others besides them. + +However, if, by this Scheme of mine, the nation can be eased of twenty +or thirty thousand such incurables, I think it ought to be esteemed +somewhat beneficial, and worthy of the attention of the public. + +The next sort for whom I would gladly provide, and who for several +generations have proved insupportable plagues and grievances to the good +people of England, are those who may properly be admitted under the +character of incurable scolds. + +I own this to be a temper of so desperate a nature, that few females can +be found willing to own themselves anyway addicted to it; and yet, it +is thought that there is scarce a single parson, 'prentice, alderman, +squire, or husband, who would not solemnly avouch the very reverse. + +I could wish, indeed, that the word scold might be changed for some more +gentle term, of equal signification; because I am convinced, that the +very name is as offensive to female ears, as the effects of that +incurable distemper are to the ears of the men; which, to be sure, is +inexpressible. + +And that it hath been always customary to honour the very same kind of +actions with different appellations, only to avoid giving offence, is +evident to common observation. + +For instance: How many lawyers, attorneys, solicitors, under-sheriffs, +intriguing chambermaids, and counter-officers, are continually guilty of +extortion, bribery, oppression, and many other profitable knaveries, to +drain the purses of those with whom they are any way concerned! And yet, +all these different expedients to raise a fortune, pass generally under +the milder names of fees, perquisites, vails, presents, gratuities, and +such like; although, in strictness of speech, they should be called +robbery, and consequently be rewarded with a gibbet. + +Nay, how many honourable gentlemen might be enumerated, who keep open +shop to make a trade of iniquity; who teach the law to wink whenever +power or profit appears in her way; and contrive to grow rich by the +vice, the contention, or the follies of mankind; and who, nevertheless, +instead of being branded with the harsh-sounding names of knaves, +pilferers, or public oppressors, (as they justly merit,) are only +distinguished by the title of justices of the peace; in which single +term, all those several appellations are generally thought to be +implied. + +But to proceed. When first I determined to prepare this Scheme for the +use and inspection of the public, I intended to examine one whole ward +in this city, that my computation of the number of incurable scolds +might be more perfect and exact. But I found it impossible to finish my +progress through more than one street. + +I made my first application to a wealthy citizen in Cornhill, +common-council-man for his ward; to whom I hinted, that if he knew e'er +an incurable scold in the neighbourhood, I had some hope to provide for +her in such a manner, as to hinder her from being further troublesome. +He referred me with great delight to his next-door friend; yet whispered +me, that, with much greater ease and pleasure, he could furnish me out +of his own family ----; and begged the preference. + +His next-door friend owned readily that his wife's qualifications were +not misrepresented, and that he would cheerfully contribute to promote +so useful a scheme; but positively asserted, that it would be of small +service to rid the neighbourhood of one woman, while such multitudes +would remain all equally insupportable. + +By which circumstance I conjectured, that the quantity of these +incurables in London, Westminster, and Southwark, would be very +considerable; and that a generous contribution might reasonably be +expected for such an hospital as I am recommending. + +Besides, the number of these female incurables would probably be very +much increased by additional quantities of old maids; who, being wearied +with concealing their ill-humour for one-half of their lives, are +impatient to give it full vent in the other. For old maids, like old +thin-bodied wines, instead of growing more agreeable by years, are +observed, for the most part, to become intolerably sharp, sour, and +useless. + +Under this denomination also, we may expect to be furnished with as +large a collection of old bachelors, especially those who have estates, +and but a moderate degree of understanding. For, an old wealthy +bachelor, being perpetually surrounded with a set of flatterers, +cousins, poor dependents, and would-be heirs, who for their own views +submit to his perverseness and caprice, becomes insensibly infected with +this scolding malady, which generally proves incurable, and renders him +disagreeable to his friends, and a fit subject for ridicule to his +enemies. + +As to the incurable scribblers, (of which society I have the honour to +be a member,) they probably are innumerable; and, of consequence, it +will be absolutely impossible to provide for one-tenth part of their +fraternity. However, as this set of incurables are generally more +plagued with poverty than any other, it will be a double charity to +admit them on the foundation; a charity to the world, to whom they are a +common pest and nuisance; and a charity to themselves, to relieve them +from want, contempt, kicking, and several other accidents of that +nature, to which they are continually liable. + +Grub-street itself would then have reason to rejoice, to see so many of +its half-starved manufacturers amply provided for; and the whole tribe +of meagre incurables would probably shout for joy, at being delivered +from the tyranny and garrets of printers, publishers, and booksellers. + +What a mixed multitude of ballad-writers, ode-makers, translators, +farce-compounders, opera-mongers, biographers, pamphleteers, and +journalists, would appear crowding to the hospital; not unlike the +brutes resorting to the ark before the deluge! And what an universal +satisfaction would such a sight afford to all, except pastry-cooks, +grocers, chandlers, and tobacco-retailers, to whom alone the writings of +those incurables were anyway profitable! + +I have often been amazed to observe, what a variety of incurable +coxcombs are to be met with between St. James's and Limehouse, at every +hour of the day; as numerous as Welsh parsons, and equally contemptible. +How they swarm in all coffeehouses, theatres, public walks, and private +assemblies; how they are incessantly employed in cultivating intrigues, +and every kind of irrational pleasure; how industrious they seem to +mimic the appearance of monkeys, as monkeys are emulous to imitate the +gestures of men: And from such observations, I concluded, that to +confine the greatest part of those incurables, who are so many living +burlesques of human nature, would be of eminent service to this nation; +and I am persuaded that I am far from being singular in that opinion. + +As for the incurable infidels and liars, I shall range them under the +same article, and would willingly appoint them the same apartment in the +hospital; because there is a much nearer resemblance between them, than +is generally imagined. + +Have they not an equal delight in imposing falsities on the public; and +seem they not equally desirous to be thought of more sagacity and +importance than others? Do they not both report what both know to be +false; and both confidently assert what they are conscious is most +liable to contradiction? + +The parallel might easily be carried on much further, if the intended +shortness of this essay would admit it. However, I cannot forbear taking +notice, with what immense quantities of incurable liars his Majesty's +kingdoms are overrun; what offence and prejudice they are to the public; +what inconceivable injury to private persons; and what a necessity there +is for an hospital, to relieve the nation from the curse of so many +incurables. + +This distemper appears almost in as many different shapes, as there are +persons afflicted with it; and, in every individual, is always beyond +the power of medicine. + +Some lie for their interest; such as fishmongers, flatterers, pimps, +lawyers, fortune-hunters, and fortune-tellers; and others lie for their +entertainment, as maids, wives, widows, and all other tea-table +attendants. + +Some lie out of vanity, as poets, painters, players, fops, military +officers, and all those who frequent the levees of the great: and others +lie out of ill nature, as old maids, &c. + +Some lie out of custom, as lovers, coxcombs, footmen, sailors, +mechanics, merchants, and chambermaids; and others lie out of +complaisance or necessity, as courtiers, chaplains, &c. In short, it +were endless to enumerate them all, but this sketch may be sufficient to +give us some small imperfect idea of their numbers. + +As to the remaining incurables, we may reasonably conclude, that they +bear at least an equal proportion to those already mentioned; but with +regard to the incurable whores in this kingdom, I must particularly +observe, that such of them as are public, and make it their profession, +have proper hospitals for their reception already, if we could find +magistrates without passions, or officers without an incurable itch to a +bribe. And such of them as are private, and make it their amusement, I +should be unwilling to disturb, for two reasons. + +First, Because it might probably afflict many noble, wealthy, contented, +and unsuspecting husbands, by convincing them of their own dishonour, +and the unpardonable disloyalty of their wives: And, secondly, Because +it will be for ever impossible to confine a woman from being guilty of +any kind of misconduct, when once she is firmly resolved to attempt it. + +From all which observations, every reasonable man must infallibly be +convinced, that an hospital for the support of these different kinds of +incurables, would be extremely beneficial to these kingdoms. I think, +therefore, that nothing further is wanting, but to demonstrate to the +public, that such a Scheme is very practicable; both by having an +undoubted method to raise an annual income, at least sufficient to make +the experiment, (which is the way of founding all hospitals,) and by +having also a strong probability, that such an hospital would be +supported by perpetual benefactions; which, in very few years, might +enable us to increase the number of incurables to nine-tenths more than +we can reasonably venture on at first. + + * * * * * + +_A Computation of the Daily and Annual Expenses of an Hospital, to be +erected for Incurables._ + + Per day. + + Incurable fools, are almost infinite; however, at + first, I would have only twenty thousand admitted; + and, allowing to each person but one shilling per + day for maintenance, which is as low as possible, the + daily expense for this article will be L1000 + + Incurable knaves, are, if possible, more numerous, + including foreigners, especially Irishmen. Yet I + would limit the number of these to about thirty + thousand; which would amount to 1500 + + Incurable scolds, would be plentifully supplied + from almost every family in the kingdom. And indeed, + to make this hospital of any real benefit, we + cannot admit fewer, even at first, than thirty thousand, + including the ladies of Billingsgate and Leadenhall + market, which is 1500 + + The incurable scribblers, are undoubtedly a very + considerable society, and of that denomination I + would admit at least forty thousand; because it is + to be supposed, that such incurables will be found + in greatest distress for a daily maintenance. And + if we had not great encouragement to hope, that + many of that class would properly be admitted + among the incurable fools, I should strenuously intercede + to have ten or twenty thousand more added. + But their allowed number will amount to 2000 + + Incurable coxcombs, are very numerous; and, + considering what numbers are annually imported + from France and Italy, we cannot admit fewer than + ten thousand, which will be 500 + + Incurable infidels, (as they affect to be called) + should be received into the hospital to the number + of ten thousand. However, if it should accidentally + happen to grow into a fashion to be believers, it is + probable, that the great part of them would, in a + very short time, be dismissed from the hospital, as + perfectly cured. Their expense would be 500 + + Incurable liars, are infinite in all parts of the kingdom; + and, making allowance for citizens' wives, + mercers, prentices, news-writers, old maids, and + flatterers, we cannot possibly allow a smaller number + than thirty thousand, which will amount to 1500 + + The incurable envious, are in vast quantities + throughout this whole nation. Nor can it reasonably + be expected that their numbers should lessen, while + fame and honours are heaped upon some particular + persons, as the public reward of their superior + accomplishments, while others, who are equally excellent, + in their own opinions, are constrained to + live unnoticed and contemned. And, as it would + be impossible to provide for all those who are possessed + with this distemper, I should consent to admit + only twenty thousand at first, by way of experiment, + amounting to 1000 + + Of the incurable vain, affected, and impertinent, + I should at least admit ten thousand; which number + I am confident will appear very inconsiderable, if + we include all degrees of females, from the duchess + to the chambermaid; all poets, who have had a little + success, especially in the dramatic way, and all + players, who have met with a small degree of approbation. + Amounting only to 500 + +By which plain computation it is evident, that two hundred thousand +persons will be daily provided for, and the allowance for maintaining +this collection of incurables may be seen in the following account. + + Per day. + _For the Incurable_ + Fools, being 20,000 at one shilling each L1000 + Knaves 30,000 ditto 1500 + Scolds 30,000 1500 + Scribblers 40,000 2000 + Coxcombs 10,000 500 + Infidels 10,000 500 + Liars 30,000 1500 + + _For the Incurably_ + Envious 20,000 1000 + Vain 10,000 500 + _______ ______ + Total maintained, 200,000 Total expense, L10,000 + + + M. Th. H. + From whence it appears, that the daily expense + will amount to such a sum, as in 365 + days comes to L3,650,000 + +And I am fully satisfied that a sum, much greater than this, may easily +be raised, with all possible satisfaction to the subject, and without +interfering in the least with the revenues of the crown. + +In the first place, a large proportion of this sum might be raised by +the voluntary contribution of the inhabitants. + +The computed number of people in Great Britain is very little less than +eight millions; of which, upon a most moderate computation, we may +account one half to be incurables. And as all those different +incurables, whether acting in the capacity of friends, acquaintances, +wives, husbands, daughters, counsellors, parents, old maids, or old +bachelors, are inconceivable plagues to all those with whom they happen +to be concerned; and as there is no hope of being eased of such plagues, +except by such an hospital, which by degrees might be enlarged to +contain them all: I think it cannot be doubted, that at least three +millions and an half of people, out of the remaining proportion, would +be found both able and desirous to contribute so small a sum as twenty +shillings _per annum_, for the quiet of the kingdom, the peace of +private families, and the credit of the nation in general. And this +contribution would amount to very near our requisite sum. + +Nor can this by any means be esteemed a wild conjecture; for where is +there a man of common sense, honesty, or good-nature, who would not +gladly propose even a much greater sum to be freed from a scold, a +knave, a fool, a liar, a coxcomb conceitedly repeating the compositions +of others, or a vain impertinent poet repeating his own? + +In the next place, it may justly be supposed, that many young noblemen, +knights, squires, and extravagant heirs, with very large estates, would +be confined in our hospital. And I would propose, that the annual income +of every particular incurable's estate should be appropriated to the use +of the house. But, besides these, there will undoubtedly be many old +misers, aldermen, justices, directors of companies, templars, and +merchants of all kinds, whose personal fortunes are immense, and who +should proportionably pay to the hospital. + +Yet, lest, by being here misunderstood, I should seem to propose an +unjust or oppressive Scheme, I shall further explain my design. + +Suppose, for instance, a young nobleman, possessed of ten or twenty +thousand pounds _per annum_, should accidentally be confined there as an +incurable: I would have only such a proportion of his estate applied to +the support of the hospital, as he himself would spend if he were at +liberty. And, after his death, the profits of the estate should +regularly devolve to the next lawful heir, whether male or female. + +And my reason for this proposal is; because considerable estates, which +probably would be squandered away among hounds, horses, whores, +sharpers, surgeons, tailors, pimps, masquerades, or architects, if left +to the management of such incurables; would, by this means, become of +some real use, both to the public and themselves. And perhaps this may +be the only method which can be found to make such young spendthrifts of +any real benefit to their country. + +And although the estates of deceased incurables might be permitted to +descend to the next heirs, the hospital would probably sustain no great +disadvantage; because it is very likely that most of these heirs would +also gradually be admitted under some denomination or other; and +consequently their estates would again devolve to the use of the +hospital. + +As to the wealthy misers, &c., I would have their private fortunes +nicely examined and calculated; because, if they were old bachelors, (as +it would frequently happen,) their whole fortunes should then be +appropriated to the endowment; but, if married, I would leave two-thirds +of their fortunes for the support of their families; which families +would cheerfully consent to give away the remaining third, if not more, +to be freed from such peevish and disagreeable governors. + +So that, deducting from the two hundred thousand incurables the forty +thousand scribblers, who to be sure would be found in very bad +circumstances; I believe, among the remaining hundred and sixty thousand +fools, knaves, and coxcombs, so many would be found of large estates and +easy fortunes, as would at least produce two hundred thousand pounds +_per annum_. + +As a further addition to our endowment, I would have a tax upon all +inscriptions and tombstones, monuments and obelisks, erected to the +honour of the dead, or on porticoes and trophies, to the honour of the +living; because these will naturally and properly come under the article +of lies, pride, vanity, &c. + +And if all inscriptions throughout this kingdom were impartially +examined, in order to tax those which should appear demonstrably false +or flattering, I am convinced that not one-fifth part of the number +would, after such a scrutiny, escape exempted. + +Many an ambitious turbulent spirit would then be found, belied with the +opposite title of "lover of his country"; and many a Middlesex justice, +as improperly described, "sleeping in hope of salvation." + +Many an usurer, discredited by the appellations of "honest and frugal"; +and many a lawyer, with the character of conscientious and "equitable." + +Many a British statesman and general, decaying, with more honour than +they lived; and their dusts distinguished with a better reputation than +when they were animated. + +Many dull parsons, improperly styled eloquent; and as many stupid +physicians, improperly styled learned. + +Yet, notwithstanding the extensiveness of a tax upon such monumental +impositions, I will count only upon twenty thousand, at five pounds +_per annum_ each, which will amount to one hundred thousand pounds +annually. + +To these annuities, I would also request the Parliament of this nation +to allow the benefit of two lotteries yearly; by which the hospital +would gain two hundred thousand pounds clear. Nor can such a request +seem any way extraordinary, since it would be appropriated to the +benefit of fools and knaves, which is the sole cause of granting one for +this present year. + +In the last place, I would add the estate of Richard Norton, Esq.;[180] +and, to do his memory all possible honour, I would have his statue +erected in the very first apartment of the hospital, or in any other +which might seem more apt. And, on his monument, I would permit a long +inscription, composed by his dearest friends, which should remain +tax-free for ever. + +From these several articles, therefore, would annually arise the +following sums. + + M. Th. H. + P. Ann. + + From the voluntary contribution, L3,500,000 + From the estates of the incurables, 200,000 + By the tax upon tombstones, monuments, + &c. (that of Richard Norton, Esq. always + excepted,) 100,000 + By two annual lotteries, 200,000 + By the estate of Richard Norton, Esq. 6,000 + ---------- + Total, L4,006,000[181] + ---------- + And the necessary sum for the hospital being L3,650,000 + There will remain annually over and above, 356,000 + +Which sum of _356,000l._ should be applied towards erecting the +building, and answer accidental expenses, in such a manner as should +seem most proper to promote the design of the hospital. But the whole +management of it should be left to the skill and discretion of those who +are to be constituted governors. + +It may, indeed, prove a work of some small difficulty to fix upon a +commodious place, large enough for a building of this nature. I should +have thoughts of attempting to enclose all Yorkshire, if I were not +apprehensive that it would be crowded with so many incurable knaves of +its own growth, that there would not be the least room left for the +reception of any others; by which accident, our whole project might be +retarded for some time. + +Thus have I set this matter in the plainest light I could, that every +one may judge of the necessity, usefulness, and practicableness of this +Scheme: and I shall only add a few scattered hints, which, to me, seem +not altogether unprofitable. + +I think the prime minister for the time being ought largely to +contribute to such a foundation; because his high station and merits +must of necessity infect a great number with envy, hatred, lying, and +such sort of distempers; and, of consequence, furnish the hospital +annually with many incurables. + +I would desire that the governors appointed to direct this hospital, +should have (if such a thing were possible) some appearance of religion, +and belief in God; because those who are to be admitted as incurable +infidels, atheists, deists, and freethinkers, most of which tribe are +only so out of pride, conceit, and affectation, might perhaps grow +gradually into believers, if they perceived it to be the custom of the +place where they lived. + +Although it be not customary for the natives of Ireland to meet with any +manner of promotion in this kingdom, I would, in this respect, have that +national prejudice entirely laid aside; and request, that, for the +reputation of both kingdoms, a _large_ apartment in the hospital may be +fitted up for Irishmen particularly, who, either by knavery, lewdness, +or fortune-hunting, should appear qualified for admittance; because +their numbers would certainly be very considerable. + +I would further request, that a father, who seems delighted at seeing +his son metamorphosed into a fop, or a coxcomb, because he hath +travelled from London to Paris; may be sent along with the young +gentleman to the hospital, as an old fool, absolutely incurable. + +If a poet hath luckily produced anything, especially in the dramatic +way, which is tolerably well received by the public, he should be sent +immediately to the hospital; because incurable vanity is always the +consequence of a little success. And, if his compositions be ill +received, let him be admitted as a scribbler. + +And I hope, in regard to the great pains I have taken, about this +Scheme, that I shall be admitted upon the foundation, as one of the +scribbling incurables. But, as an additional favour, I entreat, that I +may not be placed in an apartment with a poet who hath employed his +genius for the stage; because he will kill me with repeating his own +compositions: and I need not acquaint the world, that it is extremely +painful to bear any nonsense--except our own. + +My private reason for soliciting so early to be admitted is, because it +is observed that schemers and projectors are generally reduced to +beggary; but, by my being provided for in the hospital, either as an +incurable fool or a scribbler, that discouraging observation will for +once be publicly disproved, and my brethren in that way will be secure +of a public reward for their labours. + +It gives me, I own, a great degree of happiness, to reflect, that +although in this short treatise the characters of many thousands are +contained, among the vast variety of incurables; yet, not any one person +is likely to be offended; because, it is natural to apply ridiculous +characters to all the world, except ourselves. And I dare be bold to +say, that the most incurable fool, knave, scold, coxcomb, scribbler, or +liar, in this whole nation, will sooner enumerate the circle of their +acquaintance as addicted to those distempers, than once imagine +_themselves_ any way qualified for such an hospital. + +I hope, indeed, that our wise legislature will take this project into +their serious consideration; and promote an endowment, which will be of +such eminent service to multitudes of his Majesty's unprofitable +subjects, and may in time be of use to _themselves_ and their posterity. + + * * * * * + + From my Garret in Moorfields, Aug. 20, 1733. + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE + +HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c. + +_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._ + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift may have written the following mock petition by way of satire + against the many absurd petitions which were presented at the time + to the Irish House of Commons, and of which two examples were + quoted in the note to a previous tract. If coal-porters and + hackney-coachmen might address the Honourable House, why not + footmen? + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that found at the end of Swift's + "Serious and Useful Scheme to make an Hospital for Incurables," + issued by George Faulkner in 1733. Faulkner reprinted this volume + in 1734. + + [T. S.] + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c. + +_The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of Dublin._ + + +_Humbly Sheweth_, + +That your Petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with +several privileges, time out of mind. + +That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons, for several months +past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public +walks of this City, habited sometimes in green coats, and sometimes in +laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands, and without swords, in +hopes to procure favour, by that advantage, with a great number of +ladies who frequent those walks, pretending and giving themselves out to +be true genuine Irish footmen. Whereas they can be proved to be no +better than common toupees,[182] as a judicious eye may soon discover by +their awkward, clumsy, ungenteel gait and behaviour, by their +unskilfulness in dress, even with the advantage of wearing our habits, +by their ill-favoured countenances, with an air of impudence and dulness +peculiar to the rest of their brethren; who have not yet arrived at that +transcendent pitch of assurance. Although, it may be justly apprehended, +that they will do so in time, if these counterfeits shall happen to +succeed in their evil design, of passing for real footmen, thereby to +render themselves more amiable to the ladies. + +Your petitioners do further allege, that many of the said counterfeits, +upon a strict examination, have been found in the very act of strutting, +swearing, staring, swaggering, in a manner that plainly shewed their +best endeavours to imitate us. Wherein, although they did not succeed, +yet by their ignorant and ungainly way of copying our graces, the utmost +indignity was endeavoured to be cast upon our whole profession. + +Your Petitioners do therefore make it their humble request, that this +Honourable House, (to many of whom your Petitioners are nearly allied) +will please to take this grievance into your most serious consideration: +Humbly submitting, whether it would not be proper, that certain officers +might, at the public charge, be employed to search for, and discover all +such counterfeit footmen, and carry them before the next Justice of +Peace; by whose warrant, upon the first conviction, they should be +stripped of their coats, and oaken ornaments, and be set two hours in +the stocks. Upon the second conviction, besides stripping, be set six +hours in the stocks, with a paper pinned on their breast signifying +their crime, in large capital letters, and in the following words. "A. B. +commonly called A. B. Esq.; a toupee, and a notorious impostor, who +presumed to personate a true Irish footman." + +And for any further offence the said toupee shall be committed to +Bridewell, whipped three times, forced to hard labour for a month, and +not be set at liberty, till he shall have given sufficient security for +his good behaviour. + +Your Honours will please to observe with what lenity we propose to treat +these enormous offenders, who have already brought such a scandal on our +honourable calling, that several well-meaning people have mistaken them +to be of our Fraternity; in diminution to that credit and dignity +wherewith we have supported our station, as we always did, in the _worst +of times_.[183] And we further beg leave to remark, that this was +manifestly done with a seditious design, to render us less capable of +serving the public in any great employments, as several of our +Fraternity, as well as our ancestors have done. + +We do therefore humbly implore your Honours, to give necessary orders +for our relief, in this present exigency, and your Petitioners (as in +duty bound) shall ever pray, &c. + + Dublin, 1733. + + + + +ADVICE + +TO THE + +FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN, + +IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT. + +WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1733. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Swift here argues that a holder of an office under the government + cannot, of necessity, be an honest representative of the people. + There were two candidates before the freemen for the suffrages of + the City, one, Lord Mayor French, and the other Mr. John Macarrell. + The latter was an office-holder; he was Register to the Barracks, + and received his salary from the government. It was not to be + expected that he would vote against his employer, be he never so + honest a man. Swift openly informs the freemen that the Drapier is + against this man. The Lord Mayor was elected. + + * * * * * + + The text of this "Advice" is based on that given in the eighth + volume of Swift's Collected Works, issued in 1746. The Forster + Collection contains a made-up booklet of pp. 196-205, taken from a + volume of one of the collected editions. + + [T. S.] + + + + +ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN, IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER +TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT. + + +Those few writers, who, since the death of Alderman Burton, have +employed their pens in giving advice to our citizens, how they should +proceed in electing a new representative for the next sessions, having +laid aside their pens, I have reason to hope, that all true lovers of +their country in general, and particularly those who have any regard for +the privileges and liberties of this great and ancient city, will think +a second, and a third time, before they come to a final determination +upon what person they resolve to fix their choice. + +I am told, there are only two persons who set up for candidates; one is +the present Lord Mayor,[184] and the other, a gentleman of good esteem, +an alderman of the city, a merchant of reputation, and possessed of a +considerable office under the crown.[185] The question is, which of +these two persons it will be most for the advantage of the city to +elect? I have but little acquaintance with either, so that my inquiries +will be very impartial, and drawn only from the general character and +situation of both. + +In order to this, I must offer my countrymen and fellow-citizens some +reasons why I think they ought to be more than ordinarily careful, at +this juncture, upon whom they bestow their votes. + +To perform this with more clearness, it may be proper to give you a +short state of our unfortunate country. + +We consist of two parties: I do not mean Popish and Protestant, High and +Low Church, Episcopal and Sectarians, Whig and Tory; but of these +English who happen to be born in this kingdom, (whose ancestors reduced +the whole nation under the obedience of the English crown,) and the +gentlemen sent from the other side to possess most of the chief +employments here. This latter party is very much enlarged and +strengthened by the whole power in the church, the law, the army, the +revenue, and the civil administration deposited in their hands; +although, out of political ends, and to save appearances, some +employments are still deposited (yet gradually in a smaller number) to +persons born here; this proceeding, fortified with good words and many +promises, is sufficient to flatter and feed the hopes of hundreds, who +will never be one farthing the better, as they might easily be +convinced, if they were qualified to think at all. + +Civil employments of all kinds have been for several years past, with +great prudence, made precarious, and during pleasure; by which means the +possessors are, and must inevitably be, for ever dependent; yet those +very few of any consequence, which are dealt with so sparing a hand to +persons born among us, are enough to keep hope alive in great numbers, +who desire to mend their condition by the favour of those in power. + +Now, my dear fellow-citizens, how is it possible you can conceive, that +any person, who holds an office of some hundred pounds a year, which may +be taken from him whenever power shall think fit, will, if he should be +chosen a member for any city, do the least thing, when he sits in the +house, that he knows or fears may be displeasing to those who gave him +or continue him in that office? Believe me, these are no times to expect +such an exalted degree of virtue from mortal men. Blazing stars are much +more frequently seen than such heroical worthies. And I could sooner +hope to find ten thousand pounds by digging in my garden, than such a +phoenix, by searching among the present race of mankind. + +I cannot forbear thinking it a very erroneous, as well as modern maxim +of politics, in the English nation, to take every opportunity of +depressing Ireland; whereof an hundred instances may be produced in +points of the highest importance, and within the memory of every +middle-aged man; although many of the greatest persons among that party +which now prevails, have formerly, upon that article, much differed in +their opinion from their present successors. + +But so the fact stands at present. It is plain that the court and +country party here, (I mean in the House of Commons,) very seldom agree +in anything but their loyalty to his present Majesty, their resolutions +to make him and his viceroy easy in the government, to the utmost of +their power, under the present condition of the kingdom. But the persons +sent from England, who (to a trifle) are possessed of the sole executive +power in all its branches, with their few adherents in possession who +were born here, and hundreds of expectants, hopers, and promissees, put +on quite contrary notions with regard to Ireland. They count upon a +universal submission to whatever shall be demanded; wherein they act +safely, because none of themselves, except the candidates, feel the +least of our pressures. + +I remember a person of distinction some days ago affirmed in a good deal +of mixed company, and of both parties, that the gentry from England, who +now enjoy our highest employments of all kinds, can never be possibly +losers of one farthing by the greatest calamities that can befall this +kingdom, except a plague that would sweep away a million of our hewers +of wood and drawers of water, or an invasion that would fright our +grandees out of the kingdom. For this person argued, that while there +was a penny left in the treasury, the civil and military list must be +paid; and that the Episcopal revenues, which are usually farmed out at +six times below the real value, could hardly fail. He insisted farther, +that as money diminished, the price of all necessaries for life must of +consequence do so too, which would be for the advantage of all persons +in employment, as well as of my lords the bishops, and to the ruin of +everybody else. Among the company there wanted not men in office, +besides one or two expectants; yet I did not observe any of them +disposed to return an answer; but the consequences drawn were these: +That the great men in power sent hither from the other side, were by no +means upon the same foot with his Majesty's other subjects of Ireland; +they had no common ligament to bind them with us; they suffered not with +our sufferings; and if it were possible for us to have any cause of +rejoicing, they could not rejoice with us. + +Suppose a person, born in this kingdom, shall happen by his services for +the English interest to have an employment conferred on him worth four +hundred pounds a year; and that he hath likewise an estate in land worth +four hundred pounds a year more; suppose him to sit in Parliament; then, +suppose a land-tax to be brought in of five shillings a pound for ten +years; I tell you how this gentleman will compute. He hath four hundred +pounds a year in land: the tax he must pay yearly is one hundred pounds; +by which, in ten years, he will pay only a thousand pounds. But if he +gives his vote against this tax, he will lose four thousand pounds by +being turned out of his employment, together with the power and +influence he hath, by virtue or colour of his employment; and thus the +balance will be against him three thousand pounds. + +I desire, my fellow-citizens, you will please to call to mind how many +persons you can vouch for among your acquaintance, who have so much +virtue and self-denial as to lose four hundred pounds a year for life, +together with the smiles and favour of power, and the hopes of higher +advancement, merely out of a generous love of his country. + +The contentions of parties in England are very different from those +among us. The battle there is fought for power and riches; and so it is +indeed among us: but whether a great employment be given to Tom or to +Peter, they were both born in England, the profits are to be spent +there. All employments (except a very few) are bestowed on the natives; +they do not send to Germany, Holland, Sweden, or Denmark, much less to +Ireland, for chancellors, bishops, judges, or other officers. Their +salaries, whether well or ill got, are employed at home: and whatever +their morals or politics be, the nation is not the poorer. + +The House of Commons in England have frequently endeavoured to limit the +number of members, who should be allowed to have employments under the +Crown. Several acts have been made to that purpose, which many wise men +think are not yet effectual enough, and many of them are rendered +ineffectual by leaving the power of re-election. Our House of Commons +consists, I think, of about three hundred members; if one hundred of +these should happen to be made up of persons already provided for, +joined with expecters, compliers easy to be persuaded, such as will give +a vote for a friend who is in hopes to get something; if they be merry +companions, without suspicion, of a natural bashfulness, not apt or able +to look forwards; if good words, smiles, and caresses, have any power +over them, the larger part of a second hundred may be very easily +brought in at a most reasonable rate. + +There is an Englishman[186] of no long standing among us, but in an +employment of great trust, power, and profit. This excellent person did +lately publish, at his own expense, a pamphlet printed in England by +authority, to justify the bill for a general excise or inland duty, in +order to introduce that blessed scheme among us. What a tender care must +such an English patriot for Ireland have of our interest, if he should +condescend to sit in our Parliament! I will bridle my indignation. +However, methinks I long to see that mortal, who would with pleasure +blow us all up at a blast: but he duly receives his thousand pounds a +year; makes his progresses like a king; is received in pomp at every +town and village where he travels,[187] and shines in the English +newspapers. + +I will now apply what I have said to you, my brethren and +fellow-citizens. Count upon it, as a truth next to your creed, that no +one person in office, of which he is not master for life, whether born +here or in England, will ever hazard that office for the good of this +country. One of your candidates is of this kind, and I believe him to be +an honest gentleman, as the word honest is generally understood. But he +loves his employment better than he doth you, or his country, or all the +countries upon earth. Will you contribute and give him city security to +pay him the value of his employment, if it should be taken from him, +during his life, for voting on all occasions with the honest country +party in the House?--although I must question, whether he would do it +even upon that condition. + +Wherefore, since there are but two candidates, I entreat you will fix on +the present Lord Mayor. He hath shewn more virtue, more activity, more +skill, in one year's government of the city, than a hundred years can +equal. He hath endeavoured, with great success, to banish frauds, +corruptions, and all other abuses from amongst you. + +A dozen such men in power would be able to reform a kingdom. He hath no +employment under the Crown; nor is likely to get or solicit for any: his +education having not turned him that way. I will assure for no man's +future conduct; but he who hath hitherto practised the rules of virtue +with so much difficulty in so great and busy a station, deserves your +thanks, and the best return you can make him; and you, my brethren, have +no other to give him, than that of representing you in Parliament. Tell +me not of your engagements and promises to another: your promises were +sins of inconsideration, at best; and you are bound to repent and annul +them. That gentleman, although with good reputation, is already engaged +on the other side. He hath four hundred pounds a year under the Crown, +which he is too wise to part with, by sacrificing so good an +establishment to the empty names of virtue, and love of his country. I +can assure you, the DRAPIER is in the interest of the present +Lord Mayor, whatever you may be told to the contrary. I have lately +heard him declare so in public company, and offer some of these very +reasons in defence of his opinion; although he hath a regard and esteem +for the other gentleman, but would not hazard the good of the city and +the kingdom for a compliment. + +The Lord Mayor's severity to some unfair dealers, should not turn the +honest men among them against him. Whatever he did, was for the +advantage of those very traders, whose dishonest members he punished. He +hath hitherto been above temptation to act wrong; and therefore, as +mankind goes, he is the most likely to act right as a representative of +your city, as he constantly did in the government of it. + + + + +SOME + +CONSIDERATIONS + +HUMBLY OFFERED TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE THE LORD MAYOR, THE COURT OF +ALDERMEN, AND COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE HONOURABLE CITY OF DUBLIN, + +IN THE + +CHOICE OF A RECORDER. + +1733. + + + + +SOME CONSIDERATIONS IN THE CHOICE OF A RECORDER. + + +The office of Recorder to this city being vacant by the death of a very +worthy gentleman,[188] it is said, that five or six persons are +soliciting to succeed him in the employment. I am a stranger to all +their persons, and to most of their characters; which latter, I hope, +will at this time be canvassed with more decency than it sometimes +happeneth upon the like occasions. Therefore, as I am wholly impartial, +I can with more freedom deliver my thoughts how the several persons and +parties concerned ought to proceed in electing a Recorder for this great +and ancient city. + +And first, as it is a very natural, so I can by no means think it an +unreasonable opinion, that the sons or near relations of Aldermen, and +other deserving citizens, should be duly regarded as proper competitors +for an employment in the city's disposal, provided they be equally +qualified with other candidates; and provided that such employments +require no more than common abilities, and common honesty. But in the +choice of a Recorder, the case is entirely different. He ought to be a +person of good abilities in his calling; of an unspotted character; an +able practitioner; one who hath occasionally merited of this city +before; he ought to be of some maturity in years; a member of +Parliament, and likely to continue so; regular in his life; firm in his +loyalty to the Hanover succession; indulgent to tender consciences; but, +at the same time, a firm adherer to the established church. If he be +such a one who hath already sat in Parliament, it ought to be inquired +of what weight he was there; whether he voted on all occasions for the +good of his country; and particularly for advancing the trade and +freedom of this city; whether he be engaged in any faction, either +national or religious; and, lastly, whether he be a man of courage, not +to be drawn from his duty by the frown or menaces of power, nor capable +to be corrupted by allurements or bribes.--These, and many other +particulars, are of infinitely more consequence, than that single +circumstance of being descended by a direct or collateral line from any +Alderman, or distinguished citizen, dead or alive. + +There is not a dealer or shopkeeper in this city, of any substance, +whose thriving, less or more, may not depend upon the good or ill +conduct of a Recorder. He is to watch every motion in Parliament that +may the least affect the freedom, trade, or welfare of it. + +In this approaching election, the commons, as they are a numerous body, +so they seem to be most concerned in point of interest; and their +interest ought to be most regarded, because it altogether dependeth upon +the true interest of the city. They have no private views; and giving +their votes, as I am informed, by balloting, they lie under no awe, or +fear of disobliging competitors. It is therefore hoped that they will +duly consider, which of the candidates is most likely to advance the +trade of themselves and their brother-citizens; to defend their +liberties, both in and out of Parliament, against all attempts of +encroachment or oppression. And so God direct them in the choice of a +Recorder, who may for many years supply that important office with +skill, diligence, courage, and fidelity. And let all the people say, +Amen. + + + + +A PROPOSAL + +FOR GIVING + +BADGES TO THE BEGGARS IN ALL THE PARISHES OF DUBLIN. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The "badging" of beggars was a favourite scheme of Swift's for the + better regulation of the many who infested the city of Dublin as + tramps and idlers. While many of these were really deserving + persons, there were a great many also who made the business of + begging a profession. Eleven years before this tract was printed + Swift wrote to Archbishop King on the same subject, as will be seen + from the letter quoted in the note on pages 326-327. + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on the original edition of 1737 collated + with that given by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +A + +PROPOSAL + +FOR GIVING + +BADGES + +TO THE + +BEGGARS + +IN ALL THE + +PARISHES of _DUBLIN_. + +BY THE + +DEAN of St. _PATRICK's_ + + * * * * * + +_LONDON_, + +Printed for T. COOPER at the _Globe_ in _Pater Noster Row_. + +MDCCXXXVII. + +Price Six Pence. + + + + +It hath been a general complaint, that the poor-house, especially since +the new Constitution by Act of Parliament, hath been of no benefit to +this city, for the ease of which it was wholly intended. I had the +honour to be a member of it many years before it was new modelled by the +legislature, not from any personal regard, but merely as one of the two +deans, who are of course put into most commissions that relate to the +city; and I have likewise the honour to have been left out of several +commissions upon the score of party, in which my predecessors, time out +of mind, have always been members. + +The first commission was made up of about fifty persons, which were the +Lord Mayor, Aldermen, and Sheriffs, and some few other citizens; the +Judges, the two Archbishops, the two Deans of the city, and one or two +more gentlemen. And I must confess my opinion, that the dissolving the +old commission, and establishing a new one of nearly three times the +number, have been the great cause of rendering so good a design not only +useless, but a grievance instead of a benefit to the city. In the +present commission all the city clergy are included, besides a great +number of 'squires, not only those who reside in Dublin, and the +neighbourhood, but several who live at a great distance, and cannot +possibly have the least concern for the advantage of the city. + +At the few general meetings that I have attended since the new +Establishment, I observed very little was done, except one or two Acts +of extreme justice, which I then thought might as well have been +spared: and I have found the Court of Assistants usually taken up in +little brangles about coachmen, or adjusting accounts of meal and small +beer; which, however necessary, might sometimes have given place to +matters of much greater moment, I mean some schemes recommended to the +General Board, for answering the chief ends in erecting and establishing +such a poor-house, and endowing it with so considerable a revenue: and +the principal end I take to have been that of maintaining the poor and +orphans of the city, where the parishes are not able to do it; and +clearing the streets from all strollers, foreigners, and sturdy beggars, +with which, to the universal complaint and admiration, Dublin is more +infested since the Establishment of the poor-house, than it was ever +known to be since its first erection. + +As the whole fund for supporting this hospital is raised only from the +inhabitants of the city, so there can be hardly any thing more absurd, +than to see it mis-employed in maintaining foreign beggars and bastards, +or orphans, whose country landlords never contributed one shilling +towards their support. I would engage, that half this revenue, if +employed with common care, and no very great degree of common honesty, +would maintain all the real objects of charity in this city, except a +small number of original poor in every parish, who might, without being +burthensome to the parishioners, find a tolerable support. + +I have for some years past applied myself to several Lord Mayors, and to +the late Archbishop of Dublin[189], for a remedy to this evil of foreign +beggars; and they all appeared ready to receive a very plain proposal, I +mean, that of badging the original poor of every parish, who begged in +the streets;[190] that the said beggars should be confined to their own +parishes; that, they should wear their badges well sewn upon one of +their shoulders, always visible, on pain of being whipped and turned out +of town; or whatever legal punishment may be thought proper and +effectual. But, by the wrong way of thinking in some clergymen, and the +indifference of others, this method was perpetually defeated, to their +own continual disquiet, which they do not ill deserve; and if the +grievance affected only them, it would be of less consequence, because +the remedy is in their own power. But all street-walkers, and +shopkeepers bear an equal share in this hourly vexation. + +I never heard more than one objection against this expedient of badging +the poor, and confining their walks to their several parishes. The +objection was this: What shall we do with the foreign beggars? Must they +be left to starve? I answered, No; but they must be driven or whipped +out of town; and let the next country parish do as they please; or +rather after the practice in England, send them from one parish to +another, until they reach their own homes. By the old laws of England +still in force, and I presume by those of Ireland, every parish is bound +to maintain its own poor; and the matter is of no such consequence in +this point as some would make it, whether a country parish be rich or +poor. In the remoter and poorer parishes of the kingdom, all necessaries +for life proper for poor people are comparatively cheaper; I mean +butter-milk, oatmeal, potatoes, and other vegetables; and every farmer +or cottager, who is not himself a beggar, can sometimes spare a sup or a +morsel, not worth the fourth part of a farthing, to an indigent +neighbour of his own parish, who is disabled from work. A beggar native +of the parish is known to the 'squire, to the church minister, to the +popish priest, or the conventicle teachers, as well as to every farmer: +he hath generally some relations able to live, and contribute something +to his maintenance. None of which advantages can be reasonably expected +on a removal to places where he is altogether unknown. If he be not +quite maimed, he and his trull, and litter of brats (if he hath any) may +get half their support by doing some kind of work in their power, and +thereby be less burthensome to the people. In short, all necessaries of +life grow in the country, and not in cities, and are cheaper where they +grow; nor is it equal, that beggars should put us to the charge of +giving them victuals, and the carriage too. + +But, when the spirit of wandering takes him, attended by his female, and +their equipage of children, he becomes a nuisance to the whole country: +he and his female are thieves, and teach the trade of stealing to their +brood at four years old; and if his infirmities be counterfeit, it is +dangerous for a single person unarmed to meet him on the road. He +wanders from one county to another, but still with a view to this town, +whither he arrives at last, and enjoys all the privileges of a Dublin +beggar. + +I do not wonder that the country 'squires should be very willing to send +up their colonies; but why the city should be content to receive them, +is beyond my imagination. + +If the city were obliged by their charter to maintain a thousand +beggars, they could do it cheaper by eighty _per cent._ a hundred miles +off, than in this town, or any of its suburbs. + +There is no village in Connaught, that in proportion shares so deeply in +the daily increasing miseries of Ireland, as its capital city; to which +miseries there hardly remained any addition, except the perpetual swarms +of foreign beggars, who might be banished in a month without expense, +and with very little trouble. + +As I am personally acquainted with a great number of street beggars, I +find some weak attempts to have been made in one or two parishes to +promote the wearing of badges; and my first question to those who ask an +alms, is, _Where is your badge?_ I have in several years met with about +a dozen who were ready to produce them, some out of their pockets, +others from under their coat, and two or three on their shoulders, only +covered with a sort of capes which they could lift up or let down upon +occasion. They are too lazy to work, they are not afraid to steal, nor +ashamed to beg; and yet are too proud to be seen with a badge, as many +of them have confessed to me, and not a few in very injurious terms, +particularly the females. They all look upon such an obligation as a +high indignity done to their office. I appeal to all indifferent people, +whether such wretches deserve to be relieved. As to myself, I must +confess, this absurd insolence hath so affected me, that for several +years past, I have not disposed of one single farthing to a street +beggar, nor intend to do so, until I see a better regulation; and I have +endeavoured to persuade all my brother-walkers to follow my example, +which most of them assure me they do. For, if beggary be not able to +beat out pride, it cannot deserve charity. However, as to persons in +coaches and chairs, they bear but little of the persecution we suffer, +and are willing to leave it entirely upon us. + +To say the truth, there is not a more undeserving vicious race of human +kind than the bulk of those who are reduced to beggary, even in this +beggarly country. For, as a great part of our publick miseries is +originally owing to our own faults (but, what those faults are I am +grown by experience too wary to mention) so I am confident, that among +the meaner people, nineteen in twenty of those who are reduced to a +starving condition, did not become so by what lawyers call the work of +GOD, either upon their bodies or goods; but merely from their +own idleness, attended with all manner of vices, particularly +drunkenness, thievery, and cheating. + +Whoever enquires, as I have frequently done, from those who have asked +me an alms; what was their former course of life, will find them to have +been servants in good families, broken tradesmen, labourers, cottagers, +and what they call decayed house-keepers; but (to use their own cant) +reduced by losses and crosses, by which nothing can be understood but +idleness and vice. + +As this is the only Christian country where people contrary to the old +maxim, are the poverty and not the riches of the nation, so, the +blessing of increase and multiply is by us converted into a curse; and, +as marriage hath been ever countenanced in all free countries, so we +should be less miserable if it were discouraged in ours, as far as can +be consistent with Christianity. It is seldom known in England, that the +labourer, the lower mechanick, the servant, or the cottager thinks of +marrying until he hath saved up a stock of money sufficient to carry on +his business; nor takes a wife without a suitable portion; and as seldom +fails of making a yearly addition to that stock, with a view of +providing for his children. But, in this kingdom, the case is directly +contrary, where many thousand couples are yearly married, whose whole +united fortunes, bating the rags on their backs, would not be sufficient +to purchase a pint of butter-milk for their wedding supper, nor have any +prospect of supporting their _honourable state_, but by service, or +labour, or thievery. Nay, their _happiness_ is often deferred until they +find credit to borrow, or cunning to steal a shilling to pay their +Popish priest, or infamous couple-beggar. Surely no miraculous portion +of wisdom would be required to find some kind of remedy against this +destructive evil, or at least, not to draw the consequences of it upon +our decaying city; the greatest part whereof must of course in a few +years become desolate, or in ruins. + +In all other nations, that are not absolutely barbarous, parents think +themselves bound by the law of nature and reason to make some provision +for their children; but the reasons offered by the inhabitants of +Ireland for marrying is, that they may have children to maintain them +when they grow old and unable to work. + +I am informed that we have been for some time past extremely obliged to +England for one very beneficial branch of commerce: for, it seems they +are grown so gracious as to transmit us continually colonies of beggars, +in return of a million of money they receive yearly from hence. That I +may give no offence, I profess to mean real English beggars in the +literal meaning of the word, as it is usually understood by protestants. +It seems, the Justices of the Peace and parish officers in the western +coasts of England, have a good while followed the trade of exporting +hither their supernumerary beggars, in order to advance the English +Protestant interest among us; and, these they are so kind to send over +_gratis_, and duty free. I have had the honour more than once to attend +large cargoes of them from Chester to Dublin: and I was then so ignorant +as to give my opinion, that our city should receive them into +_bridewell_, and after a month's residence, having been well whipped +twice a day, fed with bran and water, and put to hard labour, they +should be returned honestly back with thanks as cheap as they came: or, +if that were not approved of, I proposed, that whereas one English man +is allowed to be of equal intrinsic value with twelve born in Ireland, +we should in justice return them a dozen for one, to dispose of as they +pleased. But to return. + +As to the native poor of this city, there would be little or no damage +in confining them to their several parishes. For instance; a beggar of +the parish of St. Warborough's,[191] or any other parish here, if he be +an object of compassion, hath an equal chance to receive his proportion +of alms from every charitable hand; because the inhabitants, one or +other, walk through every street in town, and give their alms, without +considering the place, wherever they think it may be well disposed of: +and these helps, added to what they get in eatables by going from house +to house among the gentry and citizens, will, without being very +burthensome, be sufficient to keep them alive. + +It is true, the poor of the suburb parishes will not have altogether the +same advantage, because they are not equally in the road of business and +passengers: but here it is to be considered, that the beggars there have +not so good a title to publick charity, because most of them are +strollers from the country, and compose a principal part of that great +nuisance, which we ought to remove. + +I should be apt to think, that few things can be more irksome to a city +minister, than a number of beggars which do not belong to his district, +whom he hath no obligation to take care of, who are no part of his +flock, and who take the bread out of the mouths of those, to whom it +properly belongs. When I mention this abuse to any minister of a +city-parish, he usually lays the fault upon the beadles, who he says are +bribed by the foreign beggars; and, as those beadles often keep +ale-houses, they find their account in such customers. This evil might +easily be remedied, if the parishes would make some small addition to +the salaries of a beadle, and be more careful in the choice of those +officers. But, I conceive there is one effectual method, in the power of +every minister to put in practice; I mean, by making it the interest of +all his own original poor, to drive out intruders: for, if the +parish-beggars were absolutely forbidden by the minister and +church-officers, to suffer strollers to come into the parish, upon pain +of themselves not being permitted to beg alms at the church-doors, or at +the houses and shops of the inhabitants; they would prevent interlopers +more effectually than twenty beadles. + +And, here I cannot but take notice of the great indiscretion in our +city-shopkeepers, who suffer their doors to be daily besieged by crowds +of beggars, (as the gates of a lord are by duns,) to the great disgust +and vexation of many customers, whom I have frequently observed to go to +other shops, rather than suffer such a persecution; which might easily +be avoided, if no foreign beggars were allowed to infest them. + +Wherefore, I do assert, that the shopkeepers, who are the greatest +complainers of this grievance, lamenting that for every customer, they +are worried by fifty beggars, do very well deserve what they suffer, +when a 'prentice with a horse-whip is able to lash every beggar from the +shop, who is not of the parish, and does not wear the badge of that +parish on his shoulder, well fastened and fairly visible; and if this +practice were universal in every house to all the sturdy vagrants, we +should in a few weeks clear the town of all mendicants, except those who +have a proper title to our charity: as for the aged and infirm, it would +be sufficient to give them nothing, and then they must starve or follow +their brethren. + +It was the city that first endowed this hospital, and those who +afterwards contributed, as they were such who generally inhabited here; +so they intended what they gave to be for the use of the city's poor. +The revenues which have since been raised by parliament, are wholly paid +by the city, without the least charge upon any other part of the +kingdom; and therefore nothing could more defeat the original design, +than to misapply those revenues on strolling beggars, or bastards from +the country, which bear no share in the charges we are at. + +If some of the out-parishes be overburthened with poor, the reason must +be, that the greatest part of those poor are strollers from the country, +who nestle themselves where they can find the cheapest lodgings, and +from thence infest every part of the town, out of which they ought to be +whipped as a most insufferable nuisance, being nothing else but a +profligate clan of thieves, drunkards, heathens, and whore-mongers, +fitter to be rooted out of the face of the earth, than suffered to levy +a vast annual tax upon the city, which shares too deep in the public +miseries, brought on us by the oppressions we lye under from our +neighbours, our brethren, our countrymen, our fellow protestants, and +fellow subjects. + +Some time ago I was appointed one of a committee to inquire into the +state of the workhouse; where we found that a charity was bestowed by a +great person for a certain time, which in its consequences operated +very much to the detriment of the house: for, when the time was elapsed, +all those who were supported by that charity, continued on the same foot +with the rest of the foundation; and being generally a pack of +profligate vagabond wretches from several parts of the kingdom, +corrupted all the rest; so partial, or treacherous, or interested, or +ignorant, or mistaken are generally all recommenders, not only to +employments, but even to charity itself. + +I know it is complained, that the difficulty of driving foreign beggars +out of the city is charged upon the _bellowers_ (as they are called) who +find their accounts best in suffering those vagrants to follow their +trade through every part of the town. But this abuse might easily be +remedied, and very much to the advantage of the whole city, if better +salaries were given to those who execute that office in the several +parishes, and would make it their interest to clear the town of those +caterpillars, rather than hazard the loss of an employment that would +give them an honest livelyhood. But, if that would fail, yet a general +resolution of never giving charity to a street beggar out of his own +parish, or without a visible badge, would infallibly force all vagrants +to depart. + +There is generally a vagabond spirit in beggars, which ought to be +discouraged and severely punished. It is owing to the same causes that +drove them into poverty; I mean, idleness, drunkenness, and rash +marriages without the least prospect of supporting a family by honest +endeavours, which never came into their thoughts. It is observed, that +hardly one beggar in twenty looks upon himself to be relieved by +receiving bread or other food; and they have in this town been +frequently seen to pour out of their pitcher good broth that hath been +given them, into the kennel; neither do they much regard clothes, unless +to sell them; for their rags are part of their tools with which they +work: they want only ale, brandy, and other strong liquors, which cannot +be had without money; and, money as they conceive, always abounds in the +metropolis. + +I had some other thoughts to offer upon this subject. But, as I am a +desponder in my nature, and have tolerably well discovered the +disposition of our people, who never will move a step towards easing +themselves from any one single grievance; it will be thought, that I +have already said too much, and to little or no purpose; which hath +often been the fate, or fortune of the writer, + + J. SWIFT. + + April 22, + 1737. + + + + +CONSIDERATIONS + +ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR. + + + + + NOTE. + + + The text of this short paper is taken from Deane Swift's edition, + which was followed by Sir Walter Scott. + + [T. S.] + + + + +CONSIDERATIONS ABOUT MAINTAINING THE POOR. + + +We have been amused, for at least thirty years past, with numberless +schemes, in writing and discourse, both in and out of Parliament, for +maintaining the poor, and setting them to work, especially in this city: +most of which were idle, indigested, or visionary; and all of them +ineffectual, as it has plainly appeared by the consequences. Many of +those projectors were so stupid, that they drew a parallel from Holland +to England, to be settled in Ireland; that is to say, from two countries +with full freedom and encouragement for trade, to a third where all kind +of trade is cramped, and the most beneficial parts are entirely taken +away. But the perpetual infelicity of false and foolish reasoning, as +well as proceeding and acting upon it, seems to be fatal to this +country. + +For my own part, who have much conversed with those folks who call +themselves merchants, I do not remember to have met with a more ignorant +and wrong-thinking race of people in the very first rudiments of trade; +which, however, was not so much owing to their want of capacity, as to +the crazy constitution of this kingdom, where pedlars are better +qualified to thrive than the wisest merchants. I could fill a volume +with only setting down a list of the public absurdities, by which this +kingdom has suffered within the compass of my own memory, such as could +not be believed of any nation, among whom folly was not established as a +law. I cannot forbear instancing a few of these, because it may be of +some use to those who shall have it in their power to be more cautious +for the future. + +The first was, the building of the barracks; whereof I have seen above +one-half, and have heard enough of the rest, to affirm that the public +has been cheated of at least two-thirds of the money raised for that +use, by the plain fraud of the undertakers. + +Another was the management of the money raised for the Palatines; when, +instead of employing that great sum in purchasing lands in some remote +and cheap part of the kingdom, and there planting those people as a +colony, the whole end was utterly defeated. + +A third is, the insurance office against fire, by which several thousand +pounds are yearly remitted to England, (a trifle, it seems, we can +easily spare,) and will gradually increase until it comes to a good +national tax: for the society-marks upon our houses (under which might +properly be written, "The Lord have mercy upon us!") spread faster and +farther than the colony of frogs.[192] I have, for above twenty years +past, given warning several thousand times to many substantial people, +and to such who are acquainted with lords and squires, and the like +great folks, to any of whom I have not the honour to be known: I +mentioned my daily fears, lest our watchful friends in England might +take this business out of our hands; and how easy it would be to prevent +that evil, by erecting a society of persons who had good estates, such, +for instance, as that noble knot of bankers, under the style of "Swift +and Company." But now we are become tributary to England, not only for +materials to light our own fires, but for engines to put them out; to +which, if hearth-money be added, (repealed in England as a grievance,) +we have the honour to pay three taxes for fire. + +A fourth was the knavery of those merchants, or linen-manufacturers, or +both, when, upon occasion of the plague at Marseilles, we had a fair +opportunity of getting into our hands the whole linen-trade of Spain; +but the commodity was so bad, and held at so high a rate, that almost +the whole cargo was returned, and the small remainder sold below the +prime cost. + +So many other particulars of the same nature crowd into my thoughts, +that I am forced to stop; and the rather because they are not very +proper for my subject, to which I shall now return. + +Among all the schemes for maintaining the poor of the city, and setting +them to work, the least weight has been laid upon that single point +which is of the greatest importance; I mean, that of keeping foreign +beggars from swarming hither out of every part of the country; for, +until this be brought to pass effectually, all our wise reasonings and +proceedings upon them will be vain and ridiculous. + +The prodigious number of beggars throughout this kingdom, in proportion +to so small a number of people, is owing to many reasons: to the +laziness of the natives; the want of work to employ them; the enormous +rents paid by cottagers for their miserable cabins and potatoe-plots; +their early marriages, without the least prospect of establishment; the +ruin of agriculture, whereby such vast numbers are hindered from +providing their own bread, and have no money to purchase it; the mortal +damp upon all kinds of trade, and many other circumstances, too tedious +or invidious to mention. + +And to the same causes we owe the perpetual concourse of foreign beggars +to this town, the country landlords giving all assistance, except money +and victuals, to drive from their estates those miserable creatures they +have undone. + +It was a general complaint against the poor-house, under its former +governors, "That the number of poor in this city did not lessen by +taking three hundred into the house, and all of them recommended under +the minister's and churchwardens' hands of the several parishes": and +this complaint must still continue, although the poor-house should be +enlarged to contain three thousand, or even double that number. + +The revenues of the poor-house, as it is now established, amount to +about two thousand pounds a-year; whereof two hundred allowed for +officers, and one hundred for repairs, the remaining seventeen hundred, +at four pounds a-head, will support four hundred and twenty-five +persons. This is a favourable allowance, considering that I subtract +nothing for the diet of those officers, and for wear and tear of +furniture; and if every one of these collegiates should be set to work, +it is agreed they will not be able to gain by their labour above +one-fourth part of their maintenance. + +At the same time, the oratorial part of these gentlemen seldom vouchsafe +to mention fewer than fifteen hundred or two thousand people, to be +maintained in this hospital, without troubling their heads about the +fund. * * * * + + + + +ON BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS + +IN IRELAND. + + + SIR, + +I have been lately looking over the advertisements in some of your +Dublin newspapers, which are sent me to the country, and was much +entertained with a large list of denominations of lands, to be sold or +let. I am confident they must be genuine; for it is impossible that +either chance or modern invention could sort the alphabet in such a +manner as to make those abominable sounds; whether first invented to +invoke or fright away the devil, I must leave among the curious. + +If I could wonder at anything barbarous, ridiculous, or absurd, among +us, this should be one of the first. I have often lamented that +Agricola, the father-in-law of Tacitus, was not prevailed on by that +petty king from Ireland, who followed his camp, to come over and +civilize us with a conquest, as his countrymen did Britain, where +several Roman appellations remain to this day, and so would the rest +have done, if that inundation of Angles, Saxons, and other northern +people, had not changed them so much for the worse, although in no +comparison with ours. In one of the advertisements just mentioned, I +encountered near a hundred words together, which I defy any creature in +human shape, except an Irishman of the savage kind, to pronounce; +neither would I undertake such a task, to be owner of the lands, unless +I had liberty to humanize the syllables twenty miles round. The +legislature may think what they please, and that they are above copying +the Romans in all their conquests of barbarous nations; but I am +deceived, if anything has more contributed to prevent the Irish from +being tamed, than this encouragement of their language, which might be +easily abolished, and become a dead one in half an age, with little +expense, and less trouble. + +How is it possible that a gentleman who lives in those parts where the +_town-lands_ (as they call them) of his estate produce such odious +sounds from the mouth, the throat, and the nose, can be able to repeat +the words without dislocating every muscle that is used in speaking, and +without applying the same tone to all other words, in every language he +understands; as it is plainly to be observed not only in those people of +the better sort who live in Galway and the Western parts, but in most +counties of Ireland? + +It is true, that, in the city parts of London, the trading people have +an affected manner of pronouncing; and so, in my time, had many ladies +and coxcombs at Court. It is likewise true, that there is an odd +provincial cant in most counties in England, sometimes not very pleasing +to the ear; and the Scotch cadence, as well as expression, are offensive +enough. But none of these defects derive contempt to the speaker: +whereas, what we call the _Irish brogue_ is no sooner discovered, than +it makes the deliverer in the last degree ridiculous and despised; and, +from such a mouth, an Englishman expects nothing but bulls, blunders, +and follies. Neither does it avail whether the censure be reasonable or +not, since the fact is always so. And, what is yet worse, it is too well +known, that the bad consequence of this opinion affects those among us +who are not the least liable to such reproaches, farther than the +misfortune of being born in Ireland, although of English parents, and +whose education has been chiefly in that kingdom. + +I have heard many gentlemen among us talk much of the great convenience +to those who live in the country, that they should speak Irish. It may +possibly be so; but I think they should be such who never intend to +visit England, upon pain of being ridiculous; for I do not remember to +have heard of any one man that spoke Irish, who had not the accent upon +his tongue easily discernible to any English ear. + +But I have wandered a little from my subject, which was only to propose +a wish that these execrable denominations were a little better suited to +an English mouth, if it were only for the sake of the English lawyers; +who, in trials upon appeals to the House of Lords, find so much +difficulty in repeating the names, that, if the plaintiff or defendant +were by, they would never be able to discover which were their own +lands. But, besides this, I would desire, not only that the appellations +of what they call _town-lands_ were changed, but likewise of larger +districts, and several towns, and some counties; and particularly the +seats of country-gentlemen, leaving an _alias_ to solve all difficulties +in point of law. But I would by no means trust these alterations to the +owners themselves; who, as they are generally no great clerks, so they +seem to have no large vocabulary about them, nor to be well skilled in +prosody. The utmost extent of their genius lies in naming their country +habitation by a hill, a mount, a brook, a burrow, a castle, a bawn, a +ford, and the like ingenious conceits. Yet these are exceeded by others, +whereof some have contrived anagramatical appellations, from half their +own and their wives' names joined together: others only from the lady; +as, for instance, a person whose wife's name was Elizabeth, calls his +seat by the name of _Bess-borow_. There is likewise a famous town, where +the worst iron in the kingdom is made, and it is called _Swandlingbar_: +the original of which name I shall explain, lest the antiquaries of +future ages might be at a loss to derive it. It was a most witty conceit +of four gentlemen, who ruined themselves with this iron project. _Sw._ +stands for _Swift_,[193] _And_, for _Sanders_, _Ling_ for _Davling_ and +_Bar._ for _Barry_. Methinks I see the four loggerheads sitting in +consult, like _Smectymnuus_, each gravely contributing a part of his own +name, to make up one for their place in the ironwork; and could wish +they had been hanged, as well as undone, for their wit. But I was most +pleased with the denomination of a town-land, which I lately saw in an +advertisement of Pue's paper: "This is to give notice, that the lands of +_Douras, alias_ WHIG-_borough_," &c. Now, this zealous proprietor, +having a mind to record his principles in religion or loyalty to future +ages, within five miles round him, for want of other merit, thought fit +to make use of this expedient: wherein he seems to mistake his account; +for this distinguishing term, whig, had a most infamous original, +denoting a man who favoured the fanatic sect, and an enemy to kings, and +so continued till this idea was a little softened, some years after the +Revolution, and during a part of her late Majesty's reign. After which +it was in disgrace until the Queen's death, since which time it hath +indeed flourished with a witness: But how long will it continue so, in +our variable scene, or what kind of mortal it may describe, is a +question which this courtly landlord is not able to answer; and +therefore he should have set a date on the title of his borough, to let +us know what kind of a creature a whig was in that year of our Lord. I +would readily assist nomenclators of this costive imagination, and +therefore I propose to others of the same size in thinking, that, when +they are at a loss about christening a country-seat, instead of +straining their invention, they would call it _Booby-borough_, +_Fool-brook_, _Puppy-ford_, _Coxcomb-hall_, _Mount-loggerhead_, +_Dunce-hill_; which are innocent appellations, proper to express the +talents of the owners. But I cannot reconcile myself to the prudence +of this lord of WHIG-_borough_, because I have not yet heard, among the +Presbyterian squires, how much soever their persons and principles are +in vogue, that any of them have distinguished their country abode by the +name of _Mount-regicide_, _Covenant-hall_, _Fanatic-hill_, +_Roundhead-bawn_, _Canting-brook_, or _Mont-rebel_, and the like; because +there may probably come a time when those kind of sounds may not be so +grateful to the ears of the kingdom. For I do not conceive it would be a +mark of discretion, upon supposing a gentleman, in allusion to his name, +or the merit of his ancestors, to call his house _Tyburn-hall_. + +But the scheme I would propose for changing the denominations of land +into legible and audible syllables, is by employing some gentlemen in +the University; who, by the knowledge of the Latin tongue, and their +judgment in sounds, might imitate the Roman way, by translating those +hideous words into their English meanings, and altering the termination +where a bare translation will not form a good cadence to the ear, or be +easily delivered from the mouth. And, when both those means happen to +fail, then to name the parcels of land from the nature of the soil, or +some peculiar circumstance belonging to it; as, in England, _Farn-ham_, +_Oat-lands_, _Black-heath_, _Corn-bury_, _Rye-gate_, _Ash-burnham_, +_Barn-elms_, _Cole-orton_, _Sand-wich_, and many others. + +I am likewise apt to quarrel with some titles of lords among us, that +have a very ungracious sound, which are apt to communicate mean ideas to +those who have not the honour to be acquainted with their persons or +their virtues, of whom I have the misfortune to be one. But I cannot +pardon those gentlemen who have gotten titles since the judicature of +the peers among us has been taken away, to which they all submitted with +a resignation that became good Christians, as undoubtedly they are. +However, since that time, I look upon a graceful harmonious title to be +at least forty _per cent._ in the value intrinsic of an Irish peerage; +and, since it is as cheap as the worst, for any Irish law hitherto +enacted in England to the contrary, I would advise the next set, before +they pass their patents, to call a consultation of scholars and musical +gentlemen, to adjust this most important and essential circumstance. The +Scotch noblemen, though born almost under the north pole, have much more +tunable appellations, except some very few, which I suppose were given +them by the Irish along with their language, at the time when that +kingdom was conquered and planted from hence; and to this day retain the +denominations of places, and surnames of families, as all historians +agree.[194] + +I should likewise not be sorry, if the names of some bishops' sees were +so much obliged to the alphabet, that upon pronouncing them we might +contract some veneration for the order and persons of those reverend +peers, which the gross ideas sometimes joined to their titles are very +unjustly apt to diminish. + + + + +SPEECH DELIVERED BY DEAN SWIFT + +TO AN ASSEMBLY OF MERCHANTS MET AT THE GUILDHALL, + +TO DRAW UP A PETITION TO THE LORD LIEUTENANT + +ON THE LOWERING OF COIN, + +APRIL 24TH, 1736. + + + + + NOTE. + + + Writing to Sheridan, under date April 24th, 1736, in a letter + written partly by herself and partly by Swift, Mrs. Whiteway, + Swift's housekeeper, refers to the occasion of this speech in the + following words: + + "The Drapier went this day to the Tholsel[195] as a merchant, to + sign a petition to the government against lowering the gold, where + we hear he made a long speech, for which he will be reckoned a + Jacobite. God send hanging does not go round." (Scott's edition, + vol. xviii., p. 470. 1824.) + + The occasion for this agitation against the lowering of the gold + arose thus. Archbishop Boulter had, for a long time, been much + concerned about the want of small silver in Ireland. The subject + seemed to weigh on him greatly, since he refers to it again and + again in his correspondence with Carteret, Newcastle, Dorset, and + Walpole. On May 25th, 1736, he wrote to Walpole to inform him that + the Lord Lieutenant had taken with him to England "an application + from the government for lowering the gold made current here, by + proclamation, and raising the foreign silver." Silver, being + scarce, bankers and tradesmen were accustomed to charge a premium + for the changing of gold, as much as sixpence and sevenpence in the + pound sterling being obtained. (See Boulter's "Letters," vol. ii., + p. 122. Dublin, 1770.) + + There was no question about the benefit of Boulter's scheme in the + minds of the two Houses of Commons and Lords: Swift, however, + opposed it vehemently, because he thought the advantage to be + obtained by this lowering of the gold would accrue to the + absentees. In 1687 James had issued a proclamation by which an + English shilling was made the equivalent of thirteen pence in + Ireland, and an English guinea to twenty-four shillings. Primate + Boulter's object (gained by the proclamation of the order on + September 29th, 1737) was to reduce the value of the guinea from + twenty-three shillings (at which it then stood) to _L1 2s. 9d._ + Swift, thinks Monck Mason, considered the absentees would benefit + by this "from the circumstances of the reserved rents, being + expressed in the imaginary coin, called a pound, but actually paid + in guineas, when the value of guineas was lowered, it required a + proportionately greater number to make up a specific sum" ("History + of St. Patrick's," p. 401, note c.) + + Swift, as he wrote to Sheridan, "battled in vain with the duke and + his clan." He thought it "just a kind of settlement upon England of + L25,000 a year for ever; yet some of my friends," he goes on to + say, "differ from me, though all agree that the absentees will be + just so much gainers." (Letter of date May 22nd, 1737.) + + In a note to Boulter's letter to the Duke of Newcastle (September + 29th, 1737) the editor of those letters (Ambrose Phillips) remarks: + "Such a spirit of opposition had been raised on this occasion by + Dean Swift and the bankers, that it was thought proper to lodge at + the Primate's house, an extraordinary guard of soldiers." This, + probably, was after the open exchange of words between Boulter and + Swift. The Primate had accused Swift of inflaming the minds of the + people, and hinted broadly that he might incur the displeasure of + the government. "I inflame them!" retorted Swift, "had I but lifted + my finger, they would have torn you to pieces." The day of the + proclaiming of the order for the lowering of the gold was marked by + Swift with the display of a black flag from the steeple of St. + Patrick's, and the tolling of muffled bells, a piece of conduct + which Boulter called an insult to the government. + + It is _a propos_ to record here the revenge Swift took on Boulter + for the accusation of inflaming the people. The incident was put by + him into the following verse: + + "At Dublin's high feast sat primate and dean, + Both dressed like divines, with hand and face clean: + Quoth Hugh of Armagh, 'the mob is grown bold.' + 'Ay, ay,' quoth the Dean, 'the cause is old gold.' + 'No, no,' quoth the primate, 'if causes we sift, + The mischief arises from witty Dean Swift.' + The smart one replies, 'There's no wit in the case; + And nothing of that ever troubled your grace. + Though with your state sieve your own motions you s--t, + A Boulter by name is no bolter of wit. + It's matter of weight, and a mere money job; + But the lower the coin, the higher the mob. + Go to tell your friend Bob and the other great folk, + That sinking the coin is a dangerous joke. + The Irish dear joys have enough common sense, + To treat gold reduced like Wood's copper pence. + It's pity a prelate should die without law; + But if I say the word--take care of Armagh!" + + With the lowering of the gold the Primate imported L2,000 worth of + copper money for Irish consumption. Swift was most indignant at + this, and his protest, printed by Faulkner, brought that publisher + before the Council, and gave Swift a fit of "nerves." (MS. Letter, + March 31st, 1737, to Lord Orrery, quoted by Craik in Swift's + "Life," vol. ii., p. 160.) Swift's objection against the copper was + due to the fact that it was not minted in Ireland. "I quarrel not + with the coin, but with the indignity of its not being coined + here." (Same MS. Letter.) + + Among the pamphlets in the Halliday collection in the Royal Irish + Academy, Dublin, is a tract with the following title: + + "Reasons why we should not lower the Coins now Current in this + Kingdom ... Dublin: Printed and Sold by E. Waters in Dame-street." + + At the end of this tract is printed Swift's speech to "an Assembly + of above one Hundred and fifty eminent persons who met at the Guild + Hall, on Saturday the 24th April, 1736, in order to draw up their + Petition, and present it to his grace the Lord Lieutenant against + lowering said Coin." It is from this tract that the present text + has been taken. The editor is obliged to Sir Henry Craik's "Life of + Swift" for drawing attention to this hitherto uncollected piece. + + [T. S.] + + + + +SPEECH DELIVERED ON THE LOWERING OF THE COIN. + + +I beg you will consider and very well weigh in your hearts, what I am +going to say and what I have often said before. There are several bodies +of men, among whom the power of this kingdom is divided--1st, The +Lord-Lieutenant, Lords Justices and Council; next to these, my Lords the +Bishops; there is likewise my Lord Chancellor, and my Lords the Judges +of the land--with other eminent persons in the land, who have +employments and great salaries annexed. To these must be added the +Commissioners of the Revenue, with all their under officers: and lastly, +their honours of the Army, of all degrees. + +Now, Gentlemen, I beg you again to consider that none of these persons +above named, can ever suffer the loss of one farthing by all the +miseries under which the kingdom groans at present. For, first, until +the kingdom be entirely ruined, the Lord-Lieutenant and Lords Justices +must have their salaries. My Lords the Bishops, whose lands are set at a +fourth part value, will be sure of their rents and their fines. My Lords +the Judges and those of other employments in the country must likewise +have their salaries. The gentlemen of the revenue will pay themselves, +and as to the officers of the army, the consequence of not paying them +is obvious enough. Nay, so far will those persons I have already +mentioned be from suffering, that, on the contrary, their revenues being +no way lessened by the fall of money, and the price of all commodities +considerably sunk thereby, they must be great gainers. Therefore, +Gentlemen, I do entreat you that as long as you live, you will look on +all persons who are for lowering the gold, or any other coin, as no +friends to this poor kingdom, but such, who find their private account +in what will be detrimental to Ireland. And as the absentees are, in +the strongest view, our greatest enemies, first by consuming above +one-half of the rents of this nation abroad, and secondly by turning the +weight, by their absence, so much on the Popish side, by weakening the +Protestant interest, can there be a greater folly than to pave a bridge +of gold at your own expense, to support them in their luxury and vanity +abroad, while hundreds of thousands are starving at home for want of +employment. + + + + +MISCELLANEOUS PIECES. + + + + +IRISH ELOQUENCE.[196] + + +I hope you will come and take a drink of my ale. I always brew with my +own bear. I was at your large Toun's house, in the county of Fermanegh. +He has planted a great many oak trees, and elm trees round his lough: +And a good warrent he had, it is kind father for him, I stayd with him a +week. At breakfast we had sometimes sowins, and sometimes stirrabout, +and sometimes fraughauns and milk; but his cows would hardly give a drop +of milk. For his head had lost the pachaun. His neighbour Squire Dolt is +a meer buddaugh. I'd give a cow in Conaught you could see him. He keeps +none but garrauns, and he rides on a soogaun with nothing for his bridle +but gadd. In that, he is a meer spaulpeen, and a perfect Monaghan, and a +Munster Croch to the bargain. Without you saw him on Sunday you would +take him for a Brogadeer and a spaned to a carl did not know had to draw +butter. We drank balcan and whisky out of madders. And the devil a +niglugam had but a caddao. I wonder your cozen does na learn him better +manners. Your cousin desires you will buy him some cheney cups. I +remember he had a great many; I wonder what is gone with them. I +coshered on him for a week. He has a fine staggard of corn. His dedy has +been very unwell. I was sorry that anything ayl her father's child. + +Firing is very dear thereabout. The turf is drawn tuo near in Kislers; +and they send new rounds from the mines, nothing comes in the Cleeves +but stock. We had a sereroar of beef, and once a runy for dinner. + + + + +A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE BETWEEN A. AND B.[197] + + +A. Them aples is very good. + +B. I cam _again_ you in that. + +A. Lord I was bodderd t'other day with that prating fool, Tom. + +B. Pray, how does he _get_ his health? + +A. He's often very _unwell_. + +B. [I] hear he was a great pet of yours. + +A. Where does he live? + +B. Opposite the red Lyon. + +A. I think he behaved very ill the last sessions. + +B. That's true, but I cannot forbear loving his father's child: Will you +take a glass of my ale? + +A. No, I thank you, I took a drink of small beer at home before I came +here. + +B. I always brew with my own bear: You have a country-house: Are you [a] +planter. + +A. Yes, I have planted a great many oak trees and ash trees, and some +elm trees round a lough. + +B. And so a good warrant you have: It is kind father for you. + +A. And what breakfast do you take in the country? + +B. Sometimes stirabout, and in sumer we have the best frauhaurg in all +the county. + +A. What kind of man is your neighbour Squire Dolt? + +B. Why, a meer Buddogh. He sometimes coshers with me; and once a month I +take a pipe with him, and we shot it about for an hour together. + +A. I hear he keeps good horses. + +B. None but garrauns, and I have seen him often riding on a sougawn. In +short, he is no better than a spawlpien; a perfect Marcghen. When I was +there last, we had nothing but a medder to drink out of; and the devil a +nighigam but a caddao. Will you go see him when you come unto our +quarter? + +A. Not _without_ you go with me. + +B. Will you lend me your snuff-box? + +A. Do you make good cheese and butter? + +B. Yes, when we can get milk; but our cows will never keep a drop of +milk without a Puckaun. + + + + +TO THE PROVOST AND SENIOR FELLOWS OF TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN. + + + Deanery House, + July 5, 1736. + + REV. AND WORTHY SIRS, + +As I had the honour of receiving some part of my education in your +university, and the good fortune to be of some service to it while I had +a share of credit at court, as well as since, when I had very little or +none, I may hope to be excused for laying a case before you, and +offering my opinion upon it. + +Mr. Dunkin,[198] whom you all know, sent me some time ago a memorial +intended to be laid before you, which perhaps he hath already done. His +request is, that you would be pleased to enlarge his annuity at present, +and that he may have the same right, in his turn, to the first church +preferment, vacant in your gift, as if he had been made a fellow, +according to the scheme of his aunt's will; because the absurdity of the +condition in it ought to be imputed to the old woman's ignorance, +although her intention be very manifest; and the intention of the +testator in all wills is chiefly regarded by the law. What I would +therefore propose is this, that you would increase his pension to one +hundred pounds a-year, and make him a firm promise of the first church +living in your disposal, to the value of two hundred pounds a-year, or +somewhat more. This I take to be a reasonable medium between what he +hath proposed in his memorial, and what you allow him at present. + +I am almost a perfect stranger to Mr. Dunkin, having never seen him +above twice, and then in mixed company, nor should I know his person if +I met him in the streets. + +But I know he is a man of wit and parts; which if applied properly to +the business of his function, instead of poetry, (wherein it must be +owned he sometimes excels,) might be of great use and service to him. + +I hope you will please to remember, that, since your body hath received +no inconsiderable benefaction from the aunt, it will much increase your +reputation, rather to err on the generous side toward the nephew. + +These are my thoughts, after frequently reflecting on the case under all +its circumstances; and so I leave it to your wiser judgments. + +I am, with true respect and esteem, reverend and worthy Sirs, + +Your most obedient and most humble servant, + + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL THE MAYOR, ALDERMEN, SHERIFFS, AND +COMMON-COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF CORK. + + + Deanery House, Dublin, + August 15, 1737. + + GENTLEMEN, + +I received from you, some weeks ago, the honour of my freedom, in a +silver box, by the hands of Mr. Stannard; but it was not delivered to me +in as many weeks more; because, I suppose, he was too full of more +important business. Since that time, I have been wholly confined by +sickness, so that I was not able to return you my acknowledgment; and it +is with much difficulty I do it now, my head continuing in great +disorder. Mr. Faulkner will be the bearer of my letter, who sets out +this morning for Cork. + +I could have wished, as I am a private man, that, in the instrument of +my freedom, you had pleased to assign your reasons for making choice of +me. I know it is a usual compliment to bestow the freedom of the city on +an archbishop, or lord-chancellor, and other persons of great titles, +merely on account of their stations or power: but a private man, and a +perfect stranger, without power or grandeur, may justly expect to find +the motives assigned in the instrument of his freedom, on what account +he is thus distinguished. And yet I cannot discover, in the whole +parchment scrip, any one reason offered. Next, as to the silver box, +there is not so much as my name upon it, nor any one syllable to show it +was a present from your city. Therefore I have, by the advice of +friends, agreeable with my opinion, sent back the box and instrument of +freedom by Mr. Faulkner, to be returned to you; leaving to your choice +whether to insert the reasons for which you were pleased to give me my +freedom, or bestow the box upon some more worthy person whom you may +have an intention to honour, because it will equally fit everybody. + + I am, with true esteem and gratitude, + Gentlemen, + Your most obedient and obliged servant, + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +TO THE HONOURABLE THE SOCIETY OF THE +GOVERNOR AND ASSISTANTS, LONDON, + +FOR THE NEW PLANTATION IN ULSTER, WITHIN THE REALM OF IRELAND, +AT THE CHAMBER IN GUILDHALL, LONDON. + + + + April 19, 1739. + WORTHY GENTLEMEN, + +I heartily recommend to your very Worshipful Society, the Reverend Mr. +William Dunkin,[199] for the living of Colrane, vacant by the death of +Dr. Squire. Mr. Dunkin is a gentleman of great learning and wit, true +religion, and excellent morals. It is only for these qualifications that +I recommend him to your patronage; and I am confident that you will +never repent the choice of such a man, who will be ready at any time to +obey your commands. You have my best wishes, and all my endeavours for +your prosperity: and I shall, during my life, continue to be, with the +truest respect and highest esteem, + + Worthy Sirs, + Your most obedient, and most humble servant, + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +CERTIFICATE TO A DISCARDED SERVANT. + + + Deanery-house, + Jan. 9, 1739-40 + +Whereas the bearer served me the space of one year, during which time he +was an idler and a drunkard, I then discharged him as such; but how far +his having been five years at sea may have mended his manners, I leave +to the penetration of those who may hereafter choose to employ him. + + JON. SWIFT. + + + + +AN EXHORTATION ADDRESSED TO THE +SUB-DEAN AND CHAPTER OF ST. +PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL, DUBLIN. + + + January 28, 1741. + +Whereas my infirmities of age and ill-health have prevented me to +preside in the chapters held for the good order and government of my +cathedral church of St. Patrick, Dublin, in person: I have, by a legal +commission, made and appointed the very reverend Doctor John Wynne, +praecentor of the said cathedral, to be sub-dean in my stead and absence. +I do hereby ratify and confirm all the powers delegated to the said Dr. +Wynne in the said Commission. + +And I do hereby require and request the very reverend sub-dean not to +permit any of the vicars-choral, choristers, or organists, to attend or +assist at any public musical performances, without my consent, or his +consent, with the consent of the chapter first obtained. + +And whereas it hath been reported, that I gave a licence to certain +vicars to assist at a club of fiddlers in Fishamble Street, I do hereby +declare that I remember no such licence to have been ever signed or +sealed by me; and that if ever such pretended licence should be +produced, I do hereby annul and vacate the said licence. Intreating my +said sub-dean and chapter to punish such vicars as shall ever appear +there, as songsters, fiddlers, pipers, trumpeters, drummers, +drum-majors, or in any sonal quality, according to the flagitious +aggravations of their respective disobedience, rebellion, perfidy, and +ingratitude. + +I require my said sub-dean to proceed to the extremity of expulsion, if +the said vicars should be found ungovernable, impenitent, or +self-sufficient, especially Taberner, Phipps, and Church, who, as I am +informed, have, in violation of my sub-dean's and chapter's order in +December last, at the instance of some obscure persons unknown, presumed +to sing and fiddle at the club above mentioned. + +My resolution is to preserve the dignity of my station, and the honour +of my chapter; and, gentlemen, it is incumbent upon you to aid me, and +to show who and what the Dean and Chapter of Saint Patrick's are. + + Signed by me, + JONATHAN SWIFT + Dean of St. Patrick's. + + Witnesses present, + JAMES KING, + FRANCIS WILSON. + +To the very Reverend Doctor John Wynne, sub-dean of the Cathedral church +of Saint Patrick, Dublin, and to the reverend dignitaries and +prebendaries of the same. + + + + +APPENDIX. + + + + +A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF THE OCCASIONAL PAPER. + + NOTE. + + + In April, 1727, Swift paid his last visit to England. The visit + paid by him to Walpole, already referred to, resulted in nothing, + though it cannot, on that account, be argued that Swift's open + friendship for, and even support of, Pulteney and Bolingbroke was + owing to his failure with Walpole. Swift pleaded with Walpole for + Ireland and Ireland only, as his letter to Peterborough amply + testifies. It had nothing to do with the political situation in + England. The explanation for this sympathy is most likely found in + Sir Henry Craik's suggestion that Swift humoured the pretences of + his friends that they were of the party that maintained the + national virtues, resisted corruption, and defended liberty against + arbitrary power. To Pulteney Swift always wrote reminding him that + the country looked to him as its saviour, and he wrote in a similar + vein to Bolingbroke and Pope. The "Craftsman" had been founded by + Pulteney and Bolingbroke (a curious companionship when one + remembers the past lives of these two men) for the express purpose + of bringing low Walpole's political power. It began by exposing the + tricks of "Robin" and continued to lay bare the cunning and wiles + of the "Craftsman" at the head of the government of the country. + Both Pulteney and Bolingbroke wrote regularly, and the former + displayed a journalistic power quite extraordinary. + + The letter which follows was written by Swift when in London on the + occasion of his last visit; but a note in Craik's "Life of Swift" + (vol. ii., pp. 166-167) is very interesting as showing that Swift + did certainly give hints for some of the subjects for discussion. I + take the liberty to transcribe this note in full. Sir Henry Craik + thinks it more than likely that Swift may have suggested, during + his last visit to London, some of the lines on which Bolingbroke + and Pulteney worked. In the note he adds: + + "This finds some confirmation, from the following heads of a Tract, + which I have found in a memorandum in Swift's handwriting. The + memorandum belongs to Mr. Frederick Locker [now dead], who kindly + permitted me to use his papers, the same which came from Theophilus + Swift into Scott's possession. But the interest of this memorandum + escaped Scott's notice." + + + "PROPOSAL FOR VIRTUE." + + "Every little fellow who has a vote now corrupted. + + "An arithmetical computation, how much spent in election of + Commons, and pensions and foreign courts: how then can our debts be + paid? + + "No fear that gentlemen will not stand and serve without Pensions, + and that they will let the Kingdom be invaded for want of fleets + and armies, or bring in Pretender, etc. + + "How K(ing) will ensure his own interest as well as the Publick: he + is now forced to keep himself bare, etc., at least, late King was. + + "Perpetual expedients, stop-gaps, etc., at long run must terminate + in something fatal, as it does in private estates. + + "There may be probably 10,000 landed men in England fit for + Parliament. This would reduce Parliament to consist of real landed + men, which is full as necessary for Senates as for Juries. What do + the other 9,000 do for want of pensions? + + " ... In private life, virtue may be difficult, by passions, + infirmities, temptations, want of pence, strong opposition, etc. + But not in public administration: there it makes all things easy. + + "Form the Scheme. Suppose a King of England would resolve to give + no pension for party, etc., and call a Parliament, perfectly free, + as he could. + + "What can a K. reasonably ask that a Parliament will refuse? When + they are resty, it is by corrupt ministers, who have designs + dangerous to the State, and must therefore support themselves by + bribing, etc. + + "Open, fair dealing the best. + + "A contemptuous character of Court art. How different from true + politics. For, comparing the talents of two professions that are + very different, I cannot but think, that in the present sense of + the word Politician, a common sharper or pickpocket, has every + quality that can be required in the other, and accordingly I have + personally known more than half a dozen in their hour esteemed + equally to excell in both." + + * * * * * + + The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the + quarto issue of Swift's Works published in 1765. + + [T. S.] + + + + + A LETTER TO THE WRITER OF + THE OCCASIONAL PAPER.[200] + + [VIDE THE CRAFTSMAN, 1727.] + + + SIR, + +Although, in one of your papers, you declare an intention of turning +them, during the dead season of the year, into accounts of domestic and +foreign intelligence; yet I think we, your correspondents, should not +understand your meaning so literally, as if you intended to reject +inserting any other paper, which might probably be useful for the +public. Neither, indeed, am I fully convinced that this new course you +resolve to take will render you more secure than your former laudable +practice, of inserting such speculations as were sent you by several +well-wishers to the good of the kingdom; however grating such notices +might be to some, who wanted neither power nor inclination to resent +them at your cost. For, since there is a direct law against spreading +false news, if you should venture to tell us in one of the Craftsmen +that the Dey of Algiers had got the toothache, or the King of Bantam had +taken a purge, and the facts should be contradicted in succeeding +packets; I do not see what plea you could offer to avoid the utmost +penalty of the law, because you are not supposed to be very gracious +among those who are most able to hurt you. + +Besides, as I take your intentions to be sincerely meant for the public +service, so your original method of entertaining and instructing us will +be more general and more useful in this season of the year, when people +are retired to amusements more cool, more innocent, and much more +reasonable than those they have left; when their passions are subsided +or suspended; when they have no occasions of inflaming themselves, or +each other; where they will have opportunities of hearing common sense, +every day in the week, from their tenants or neighbouring farmers, and +thereby be qualified, in hours of rain or leisure, to read and consider +the advice or information you shall send them. + +Another weighty reason why you should not alter your manner of writing, +by dwindling to a newsmonger, is because there is no suspension of arms +agreed on between you and your adversaries, who fight with a sort of +weapons which have two wonderful qualities, that they are never to be +worn out, and are best wielded by the weakest hands, and which the +poverty of our language forceth me to call by the trite appellations of +scurrility, slander, and Billingsgate. I am far from thinking that these +gentlemen, or rather their employers, (for the operators themselves are +too obscure to be guessed at) should be answered after their own way, +although it were possible to drag them out of their obscurity; but I +wish you would enquire what real use such a conduct is to the cause they +have been so largely paid to defend. The author of the three first +Occasional Letters, a person altogether unknown, hath been thought to +glance (for what reasons he best knows) at some public proceedings, as +if they were not agreeable to his private opinions. In answer to this, +the pamphleteers retained on the other side are instructed by their +superiors, to single out an adversary whose abilities they have most +reason to apprehend, and to load himself, his family, and friends, with +all the infamy that a perpetual conversation in Bridewell, Newgate, and +the stews could furnish them; but, at the same time, so very unluckily, +that the most distinguishing parts of their characters strike directly +in the face of their benefactor, whose idea presenting itself along with +his guineas perpetually to their imagination, occasioned this desperate +blunder. + +But, allowing this heap of slander to be truth, and applied to the +proper person; what is to be the consequence? Are our public debts to be +the sooner paid; the corruptions that author complains of to be the +sooner cured; an honourable peace, or a glorious war the more likely to +ensue; trade to flourish; the Ostend Company to be demolished; +Gibraltar and Port Mahon left entire in our possession; the balance of +Europe to be preserved; the malignity of parties to be for ever at an +end; none but persons of merit, virtue, genius, and learning to be +encouraged? I ask whether any of these effects will follow upon the +publication of this author's libel, even supposing he could prove every +syllable of it to be true? + +At the same time, I am well assured, that the only reason of ascribing +those papers to a particular person, is built upon the information of a +certain pragmatical spy of quality, well known to act in that capacity +by those into whose company he insinuates himself; a sort of persons +who, although without much love, esteem, or dread of people in present +power, yet have too much common prudence to speak their thoughts with +freedom before such an intruder; who, therefore, imposes grossly upon +his masters, if he makes them pay for anything but his own conjectures. + +It is a grievous mistake in a great minister to neglect or despise, much +more to irritate men of genius and learning. I have heard one of the +wisest persons in my time observe, that an administration was to be +known and judged by the talents of those who appeared their advocates in +print. This I must never allow to be a general rule; yet I cannot but +think it prodigiously unfortunate, that, among the answerers, defenders, +repliers, and panegyrists, started up in defence of present persons and +proceedings, there hath not yet arisen one whose labours we can read +with patience, however we may applaud their loyalty and good will. And +all this with the advantages of constant ready pay, of natural and +acquired venom, and a grant of the whole fund of slander, to range over +and riot in as they please.[201] + +On the other side, a turbulent writer of Occasional Letters, and other +vexatious papers, in conjunction perhaps with one or two friends as bad +as himself, is able to disconcert, tease, and sour us whenever he +thinks fit, merely by the strength of genius and truth; and after so +dexterous a manner, that, when we are vexed to the soul, and well know +the reasons why we are so, we are ashamed to own the first, and cannot +tell how to express the other. In a word, it seems to me that all the +writers are on one side, and all the railers on the other. + +However, I do not pretend to assert, that it is impossible for an ill +minister to find men of wit who may be drawn, by a very valuable +consideration, to undertake his defence; but the misfortune is, that the +heads of such writers rebel against their hearts; their genius forsakes +them, when they would offer to prostitute it to the service of +injustice, corruption, party rage, and false representations of things +and persons. + +And this is the best argument I can offer in defence of great men, who +have been of late so very unhappy in the choice of their +paper-champions; although I cannot much commend their good husbandry, in +those exorbitant payments of twenty and sixty guineas at a time for a +scurvy pamphlet; since the sort of work they require is what will all +come within the talents of any one who hath enjoyed the happiness of a +very bad education, hath kept the vilest company, is endowed with a +servile spirit, is master of an empty purse, and a heart full of malice. + +But, to speak the truth in soberness; it should seem a little hard, +since the old Whiggish principle hath been recalled of standing up for +the liberty of the press, to a degree that no man, for several years +past, durst venture out a thought which did not square to a point with +the maxims and practices that then prevailed: I say, it is a little hard +that the vilest mercenaries should be countenanced, preferred, rewarded, +for discharging their brutalities against men of honour, only upon a +bare conjecture. + +If it should happen that these profligates have attacked an innocent +person, I ask what satisfaction can their hirers give in return? Not all +the wealth raked together by the most corrupt rapacious ministers, in +the longest course of unlimited power, would be sufficient to atone for +the hundredth part of such an injury. + +In the common way of thinking, it is a situation sufficient in all +conscience to satisfy a reasonable ambition, for a private person to +command the forces, the laws, the revenues of a great kingdom, to +reward and advance his followers and flatterers as he pleases, and to +keep his enemies (real or imaginary) in the dust. In such an exaltation, +why should he be at the trouble to make use of fools to sound his +praises, (because I always thought the lion was hard set, when he chose +the ass for his trumpeter) or knaves to revenge his quarrels, at the +expense of innocent men's reputations? + +With all those advantages, I cannot see why persons, in the height of +power, should be under the least concern on account of their reputation, +for which they have no manner of use; or to ruin that of others, which +may perhaps be the only possession their enemies have left them. +Supposing times of corruption, which I am very far from doing, if a +writer displays them in their proper colours, does he do anything worse +than sending customers to the shop? "Here only, at the sign of the +Brazen Head, are to be sold places and pensions: beware of counterfeits, +and take care of mistaking the door." + +For my own part, I think it very unnecessary to give the character of a +great minister in the fulness of his power, because it is a thing that +naturally does itself, and is obvious to the eyes of all mankind; for +his personal qualities are all derived into the most minute parts of his +administration. If this be just, prudent, regular, impartial, intent +upon the public good, prepared for present exigencies, and provident of +the future; such is the director himself in his private capacity: If it +be rapacious, insolent, partial, palliating long and deep diseases of +the public with empirical remedies, false, disguised, impudent, +malicious, revengeful; you shall infallibly find the private life of the +conductor to answer in every point; nay, what is more, every twinge of +the gout or gravel will be felt in their consequences by the community. +As the thief-catcher, upon viewing a house broke open, could immediately +distinguish, from the manner of the workmanship, by what hand it was +done. + +It is hard to form a maxim against which an exception is not ready to +start up: So, in the present case, where the minister grows enormously +rich, the public is proportionably poor; as, in a private family, the +steward always thrives the fastest when his lord is running out. + + * * * * * + * * * * * + + + + +AN ACCOUNT OF THE COURT AND EMPIRE OF JAPAN.[202] + + +Regoge[203] was the thirty-fourth emperor of Japan, and began his reign +in the year 341 of the Christian era, succeeding to Nena,[204] a +princess who governed with great felicity. + +There had been a revolution in that empire about twenty-six years +before, which made some breaches in the hereditary line; and Regoge, +successor to Nena, although of the royal family, was a distant +relation. There were two violent parties in the empire, which began in +the time of the revolution above mentioned; and, at the death of the +Empress Nena, were in the highest degree of animosity, each charging the +other with a design of introducing new gods, and changing the civil +constitution. The names of these two parties were Husiges and +Yortes.[205] The latter were those whom Nena, the late empress, most +favoured towards the end of her reign, and by whose advice she governed. + +The Husige faction, enraged at their loss of power, made private +applications to Regoge during the life of the empress; which prevailed +so far, that, upon her death, the new emperor wholly disgraced the +Yortes, and employed only the Husiges in all his affairs. The Japanese +author highly blames his Imperial Majesty's proceeding in this affair; +because, it was allowed on all hands, that he had then a happy +opportunity of reconciling parties for ever by a moderating scheme. But +he, on the contrary, began his reign by openly disgracing the principal +and most popular Yortes, some of which had been chiefly instrumental in +raising him to the throne. By this mistaken step he occasioned a +rebellion; which, although it were soon quelled by some very surprising +turns of fortune, yet the fear, whether real or pretended, of new +attempts, engaged him in such immense charges, that, instead of clearing +any part of that prodigious debt left on his kingdom by the former war, +which might have been done by any tolerable management, in twelve years +of the most profound peace; he left his empire loaden with a vast +addition to the old encumbrance. + +This prince, before he succeeded to the empire of Japan, was king of +Tedsu,[206] a dominion seated on the continent, to the west side of +Japan. Tedsu was the place of his birth, and more beloved by him than +his new empire; for there he spent some months almost every year, and +thither was supposed to have conveyed great sums of money, saved out of +his Imperial revenues. + +There were two maritime towns of great importance bordering upon +Tedsu:[207] Of these he purchased a litigated title; and, to support it, +was forced not only to entrench deeply on his Japanese revenues, but to +engage in alliances very dangerous to the Japanese empire.[208] + +Japan was at that time a limited monarchy, which some authors are of +opinion was introduced there by a detachment from the numerous army of +Brennus, who ravaged a great part of Asia; and, those of them who fixed +in Japan, left behind them that kind of military institution, which the +northern people, in ensuing ages, carried through most parts of Europe; +the generals becoming kings, the great officers a senate of nobles, with +a representative from every centenary of private soldiers; and, in the +assent of the majority in these two bodies, confirmed by the general, +the legislature consisted. + +I need not farther explain a matter so universally known; but return to +my subject. + +The Husige faction, by a gross piece of negligence in the Yortes, had so +far insinuated themselves and their opinions into the favour of Regoge +before he came to the empire, that this prince firmly believed them to +be his only true friends, and the others his mortal enemies.[209] By +this opinion he governed all the actions of his reign. + +The emperor died suddenly, in his journey to Tedsu; where, according to +his usual custom, he was going to pass the summer. + +This prince, during his whole reign, continued an absolute stranger to +the language, the manners, the laws, and the religion of Japan; and +passing his whole time among old mistresses, or a few privadoes, left +the whole management of the empire in the hands of a minister, upon the +condition of being made easy in his personal revenues, and the +management of parties in the senate. His last minister,[210] who +governed in the most arbitrary manner for several years, he was thought +to hate more than he did any other person in Japan, except his only +son, the heir to the empire. The dislike he bore to the former was, +because the minister, under pretence that he could not govern the senate +without disposing of employments among them, would not suffer his master +to oblige one single person, but disposed of all to his own relations +and dependants. But, as to that continued and virulent hatred he bore to +the prince his son, from the beginning of his reign to his death, the +historian hath not accounted for it, further than by various +conjectures, which do not deserve to be related. + +The minister above mentioned was of a family not contemptible, had been +early a senator, and from his youth a mortal enemy to the Yortes. He had +been formerly disgraced in the senate, for some frauds in the management +of a public trust.[211] He was perfectly skilled, by long practice, in +the senatorial forms; and dexterous in the purchasing of votes, from +those who could find their accounts better in complying with his +measures, than they could probably lose by any tax that might be charged +on the kingdom. He seemed to fail, in point of policy, by not concealing +his gettings, never scrupling openly to lay out vast sums of money in +paintings, buildings, and purchasing estates; when it was known, that, +upon his first coming into business, upon the death of the Empress Nena, +his fortune was but inconsiderable. He had the most boldness, and the +least magnanimity that ever any mortal was endowed with. By enriching +his relations, friends, and dependants, in a most exorbitant manner, he +was weak enough to imagine that he had provided a support against an +evil day. He had the best among all false appearances of courage, which +was a most unlimited assurance, whereby he would swagger the boldest men +into a dread of his power, but had not the smallest portion of +magnanimity, growing jealous, and disgracing every man, who was known to +bear the least civility to those he disliked. He had some small +smattering in books, but no manner of politeness; nor, in his whole +life, was ever known to advance any one person, upon the score of wit, +learning, or abilities for business. The whole system of his ministry +was corruption; and he never gave bribe or pension, without frankly +telling the receivers what he expected from them, and threatening them +to put an end to his bounty, if they failed to comply in every +circumstance. + +A few months before the emperor's death, there was a design concerted +between some eminent persons of both parties, whom the desperate state +of the empire had united, to accuse the minister at the first meeting of +a new chosen senate, which was then to assemble according to the laws of +that empire. And it was believed, that the vast expense he must be at in +choosing an assembly proper for his purpose, added to the low state of +the treasury, the increasing number of pensioners, the great discontent +of the people, and the personal hatred of the emperor; would, if well +laid open in the senate, be of weight enough to sink the minister, when +it should appear to his very pensioners and creatures that he could not +supply them much longer. + +While this scheme was in agitation, an account came of the emperor's +death, and the prince his son,[212] with universal joy, mounted the +throne of Japan. + +The new emperor had always lived a private life, during the reign of his +father; who, in his annual absence, never trusted him more than once +with the reins of government, which he held so evenly that he became too +popular to be confided in any more. He was thought not unfavourable to +the Yortes, at least not altogether to approve the virulence wherewith +his father proceeded against them; and therefore, immediately upon his +succession, the principal persons of that denomination came, in several +bodies, to kiss the hem of his garment, whom he received with great +courtesy, and some of them with particular marks of distinction. + +The prince, during the reign of his father, having not been trusted with +any public charge, employed his leisure in learning the language, the +religion, the customs, and disposition of the Japanese; wherein he +received great information, among others, from Nomptoc[213], master of +his finances, and president of the senate, who secretly hated Lelop-Aw, +the minister; and likewise from Ramneh[214], a most eminent senator; +who, despairing to do any good with the father, had, with great +industry, skill, and decency, used his endeavour to instil good +principles into the young prince. + +Upon the news of the former emperor's death, a grand council was +summoned of course, where little passed besides directing the ceremony +of proclaiming the successor. But, in some days after, the new emperor +having consulted with those persons in whom he could chiefly confide, +and maturely considered in his own mind the present state of his +affairs, as well as the disposition of his people, convoked another +assembly of his council; wherein, after some time spent in general +business, suitable to the present emergency, he directed Lelop-Aw to +give him, in as short terms as he conveniently could, an account of the +nation's debts, of his management in the senate, and his negotiations +with foreign courts: Which that minister having delivered, according to +his usual manner, with much assurance and little satisfaction, the +emperor desired to be fully satisfied in the following particulars. + +Whether the vast expense of choosing such members into the senate, as +would be content to do the public business, were absolutely necessary? + +Whether those members, thus chosen in, would cross and impede the +necessary course of affairs, unless they were supplied with great sums +of money, and continued pensions? + +Whether the same corruption and perverseness were to be expected from +the nobles? + +Whether the empire of Japan were in so low a condition, that the +imperial envoys, at foreign courts, must be forced to purchase +alliances, or prevent a war, by immense bribes, given to the ministers +of all the neighbouring princes? + +Why the debts of the empire were so prodigiously advanced, in a peace of +twelve years at home and abroad? + +Whether the Yortes were universally enemies to the religion and laws of +the empire, and to the imperial family now reigning? + +Whether those persons, whose revenues consist in lands, do not give +surer pledges of fidelity to the public, and are more interested in the +welfare of the empire, than others whose fortunes consist only in money? + +And because Lelop-Aw, for several years past, had engrossed the whole +administration, the emperor signified, that from him alone he expected +an answer. + +This minister, who had sagacity enough to cultivate an interest in the +young prince's family, during the late emperor's life, received early +intelligence from one of his emissaries of what was intended at the +council, and had sufficient time to frame as plausible an answer as his +cause and conduct would allow. However, having desired a few minutes to +put his thoughts in order, he delivered them in the following manner. + + * * * * * + + "SIR, + +"Upon this short unexpected warning, to answer your Imperial Majesty's +queries I should be wholly at a loss, in your Majesty's august presence, +and that of this most noble assembly, if I were armed with a weaker +defence than my own loyalty and integrity, and the prosperous success of +my endeavours. + +"It is well known that the death of the Empress Nena happened in a most +miraculous juncture; and that, if she had lived two months longer, your +illustrious family would have been deprived of your right, and we should +have seen an usurper upon your throne, who would have wholly changed the +constitution of this empire, both civil and sacred; and although that +empress died in a most opportune season, yet the peaceable entrance of +your Majesty's father was effected by a continual series of miracles. +The truth of this appears by that unnatural rebellion which the Yortes +raised, without the least provocation, in the first year of the late +emperor's reign, which may be sufficient to convince your Majesty, that +every soul of that denomination was, is, and will be for ever, a +favourer of the Pretender, a mortal enemy to your illustrious family, +and an introducer of new gods into the empire. Upon this foundation was +built the whole conduct of our affairs; and, since a great majority of +the kingdom was at that time reckoned to favour the Yortes faction, who, +in the regular course of elections, must certainly be chosen members of +the senate then to be convoked; it was necessary, by the force of money, +to influence elections in such a manner, that your Majesty's father +might have a sufficient number to weigh down the scale on his side, and +thereby carry on those measures which could only secure him and his +family in the possession of the empire. To support this original plan I +came into the service: But the members of the senate, knowing themselves +every day more necessary, upon the choosing of a new senate, I found the +charges to increase; and that, after they were chosen, they insisted +upon an increase of their pensions; because they well knew that the work +could not be carried on without them: And I was more general in my +donatives, because I thought it was more for the honour of the crown, +that every vote should pass without a division; and that, when a debate +was proposed, it should immediately be quashed, by putting the question. + +"Sir, The date of the present senate is expired, and your Imperial +Majesty is now to convoke a new one; which, I confess, will be somewhat +more expensive than the last, because the Yortes, from your favourable +reception, have begun to reassume a spirit whereof the country had some +intelligence; and we know the majority of the people, without proper +management, would be still in that fatal interest. However, I dare +undertake, with the charge only of four hundred thousand sprangs,[215] +to return as great a majority of senators of the true stamp, as your +Majesty can desire. As to the sums of money paid in foreign courts, I +hope, in some years, to ease the nation of them, when we and our +neighbours come to a good understanding. However, I will be bold to say, +they are cheaper than a war, where your Majesty is to be a principal. + +"The pensions, indeed, to senators and other persons, must needs +increase, from the restiveness of some, and scrupulous nature of others; +and the new members, who are unpractised, must have better +encouragement. However, I dare undertake to bring the eventual charge +within eight hundred thousand sprangs. But, to make this easy, there +shall be new funds raised, of which I have several schemes ready, +without taxing bread or flesh, which shall be referred to more pressing +occasions. + +"Your Majesty knows it is the laudable custom of all Eastern princes, to +leave the whole management of affairs, both civil and military, to their +viziers. The appointments for your family, and private purse, shall +exceed those of your predecessors: You shall be at no trouble, further +than to appear sometimes in council, and leave the rest to me: You shall +hear no clamour or complaints: Your senate shall, upon occasions, +declare you the best of princes, the father of your country, the arbiter +of Asia, the defender of the oppressed, and the delight of mankind. + +"Sir, Hear not those who would most falsely, impiously, and maliciously +insinuate, that your government can be carried on without that +wholesome, necessary expedient, of sharing the public revenue with your +faithful deserving senators. This, I know, my enemies are pleased to +call bribery and corruption. Be it so: But I insist, that without this +bribery and corruption, the wheels of government will not turn, or at +least will be apt to take fire, like other wheels, unless they be +greased at proper times. If an angel from heaven should descend, to +govern this empire upon any other scheme than what our enemies call +corruption, he must return from whence he came, and leave the work +undone. + +"Sir, It is well known we are a trading nation, and consequently cannot +thrive in a bargain where nothing is to be gained. The poor electors, +who run from their shops, or the plough, for the service of their +country, are they not to be considered for their labour and their +loyalty? The candidates, who, with the hazard of their persons, the loss +of their characters, and the ruin of their fortunes, are preferred to +the senate, in a country where they are strangers, before the very lords +of the soil; are they not to be rewarded for their zeal to your +Majesty's service, and qualified to live in your metropolis as becomes +the lustre of their stations? + +"Sir, If I have given great numbers of the most profitable employments +among my own relations and nearest allies, it was not out of any +partiality, but because I know them best, and can best depend upon them. +I have been at the pains to mould and cultivate their opinions. Abler +heads might probably have been found, but they would not be equally +under my direction. A huntsman, who hath the absolute command of his +dogs, will hunt more effectually than with a better pack, to whose +manner and cry he is a stranger. + +"Sir, Upon the whole, I will appeal to all those who best knew your +royal father, whether that blessed monarch had ever one anxious thought +for the public, or disappointment, or uneasiness, or want of money for +all his occasions, during the time of my administration? And, how happy +the people confessed themselves to be under such a king, I leave to +their own numerous addresses; which all politicians will allow to be the +most infallible proof how any nation stands affected to their +sovereign." + + * * * * * + +Lelop-Aw, having ended his speech and struck his forehead thrice against +the table, as the custom is in Japan, sat down with great complacency of +mind, and much applause of his adherents, as might be observed by their +countenances and their whispers. But the Emperor's behaviour was +remarkable; for, during the whole harangue, he appeared equally +attentive and uneasy. After a short pause, His Majesty commanded that +some other counsellor should deliver his thoughts, either to confirm or +object against what had been spoken by Lelop-Aw. + + + + +THE ANSWER OF THE RIGHT HON. WILLIAM PULTENEY, ESQ., TO THE +RIGHT HON. SIR ROBERT WALPOLE.[216] + + + Oct. 15, 1730. + SIR, + +A pamphlet was lately sent me, entitled, "A Letter from the Right +Honourable Sir R. W. to the Right Honourable W. P. Esq; occasioned by the +late Invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family." By +these initial letters of our names, the world is to understand that you +and I must be meant. Although the letter seems to require an answer, yet +because it appears to be written rather in the style and manner used by +some of your pensioners, than your own, I shall allow you the liberty to +think the same of this answer, and leave the public to determine which +of the two actors can better personate their principals. That frigid and +fustian way of haranguing wherewith your representer begins, continues, +and ends his declamation, I shall leave to the critics in eloquence and +propriety to descant on; because it adds nothing to the weight of your +accusations, nor will my defence be one grain the better by exposing its +puerilities. + +I shall therefore only remark upon this particular, that the frauds and +corruptions in most other arts and sciences, as law, physic (I shall +proceed no further) are usually much more plausibly defended than in +that of politics; whether it be, that by a kind of fatality the +vindication of a corrupt minister is always left to the management of +the meanest and most prostitute writers; or whether it be, that the +effects of a wicked or unskilful administration, are more public, +visible, pernicious and universal. Whereas the mistakes in other +sciences are often matters that affect only speculation; or at worst, +the bad consequences fall upon few and private persons. A nation is +quickly sensible of the miseries it feels, and little comforted by +knowing what account it turns to by the wealth, the power, the honours +conferred on those who sit at the helm, or the salaries paid to their +penmen; while the body of the people is sunk into poverty and despair. A +Frenchman in his wooden shoes may, from the vanity of his nation, and +the constitution of that government, conceive some imaginary pleasure in +boasting the grandeur of his monarch, in the midst of his own slavery; +but a free-born Englishman, with all his loyalty, can find little +satisfaction at a minister overgrown in wealth and power from the lowest +degree of want and contempt; when that power or wealth are drawn from +the bowels and blood of the nation, for which every fellow-subject is a +sufferer, except the great man himself, his family, and his pensioners. +I mean such a minister (if there hath ever been such a one) whose whole +management hath been a continued link of ignorance, blunders, and +mistakes in every article besides that of enriching and aggrandizing +himself. + +For these reasons the faults of men, who are most trusted in public +business, are, of all others, the most difficult to be defended. A man +may be persuaded into a wrong opinion, wherein he hath small concern: +but no oratory can have the power over a sober man against the +conviction of his own senses: and therefore, as I take it, the money +thrown away on such advocates might be more prudently spared, and kept +in such a minister's own pocket, than lavished in hiring a corporation +of pamphleteers to defend his conduct, and prove a kingdom to be +flourishing in trade and wealth, which every particular subject (except +those few already excepted) can lawfully swear, and, by dear experience +knows, to be a falsehood. + +Give me leave, noble sir, in the way of argument, to suppose this to be +your case; could you in good conscience, or moral justice, chide your +paper-advocates for their ill success in persuading the world against +manifest demonstration? Their miscarriage is owing, alas! to want of +matter. Should we allow them to be masters of wit, raillery, or +learning, yet the subject would not admit them to exercise their +talents; and, consequently, they can have no recourse but to impudence, +lying, and scurrility. + +I must confess, that the author of your letter to me hath carried this +last qualification to a greater height than any of his fellows: but he +hath, in my opinion, failed a little in point of politeness from the +original which he affects to imitate. If I should say to a prime +minister, "Sir, you have sufficiently provided that Dunkirk should be +absolutely demolished and never repaired; you took the best advantages +of a long and general peace to discharge the immense debts of the +nation; you did wonders with the fleet; you made the Spaniards submit to +our quiet possession of Gibraltar and Portmahon; you never enriched +yourself and family at the expense of the public."--Such is the style of +your supposed letter, which however, if I am well informed, by no means +comes up to the refinements of a fishwife in Billingsgate. "You never +had a bastard by Tom the waterman; you never stole a silver tankard; you +were never whipped at the cart's tail." + +In the title of your letter, it is said to be "occasioned by the late +invectives on the King, her Majesty, and all the Royal Family:" and the +whole contents of the paper (stripped from your eloquence) goes on upon +a supposition affectedly serious, that their Majesties, and the whole +Royal Family, have been lately bitterly and publicly inveighed against +in the most enormous and treasonable manner. Now, being a man, as you +well know, altogether out of business, I do sometimes lose an hour in +reading a few of those controversial papers upon politics, which have +succeeded for some years past to the polemical tracts between Whig and +Tory: and in this kind of reading (if it may deserve to be so called) +although I have been often but little edified, or entertained, yet hath +it given me occasion to make some observations. First, I have observed, +that however men may sincerely agree in all the branches of the Low +Church principle, in a tenderness for dissenters of every kind, in a +perfect abhorrence of Popery and the Pretender, and in the most firm +adherence to the Protestant succession in the royal house of Hanover; +yet plenty of matter may arise to kindle their animosities against each +other from the various infirmities, follies, and vices inherent in +mankind. + +Secondly, I observed, that although the vulgar reproach which charges +the quarrels between ministers, and their opposers, to be only a +contention for power between those who are in, and those who would be in +if they could; yet as long as this proceeds no further than a scuffle of +ambition among a few persons, it is only a matter of course, whereby the +public is little affected. But when corruptions are plain, open, and +undisguised, both in their causes and effects, to the hazard of a +nation's ruin, and so declared by all the principal persons and the bulk +of the people, those only excepted who are gainers by those corruptions: +and when such ministers are forced to fly for shelter to the throne, +with a complaint of disaffection to majesty against all who durst +dislike their administration: such a general disposition in the minds of +men, cannot, I think, by any rules of reason, be called the "clamour of +a few disaffected incendiaries," gasping[217] after power. It is the +true voice of the people; which must and will at last be heard, or +produce consequences that I dare not mention. + +I have observed thirdly, that among all the offensive printed papers +which have come to my hand, whether good or bad, the writers have taken +particular pains to celebrate the virtues of our excellent King and +Queen, even where these were, strictly speaking, no part of the subject: +nor can it be properly objected that such a proceeding was only a blind +to cover their malice towards you and your assistants; because to +affront the King, Queen, or the Royal Family, as it would be directly +opposite to the principles that those kind of writers have always +professed, so it would destroy the very end they have in pursuit. And it +is somewhat remarkable, that those very writers against you, and the +regiment you command, are such as most distinguish themselves upon all, +or upon no occasions, by their panegyrics on their prince; and, as all +of them do this without favour or hire, so some of them continue the +same practice under the severest prosecution by you and your janizaries. + +You seem to know, or at least very strongly to conjecture, who those +persons are that give you so much weekly disquiet. Will you dare to +assert that any of these are Jacobites, endeavour to alienate the hearts +of the people, to defame the prince, and then dethrone him (for these +are your expressions) and that I am their patron, their bulwark, their +hope, and their refuge? Can you think I will descend to vindicate myself +against an aspersion so absurd? God be thanked, we have had many a +change of ministry without changing our prince: for if it had been +otherwise, perhaps revolutions might have been more frequent. Heaven +forbid that the welfare of a great kingdom, and of a brave people, +should be trusted with the thread of a single subject's life; for I +suppose it is not yet in your view to entail the ministryship in your +family. Thus I hope we may live to see different ministers and different +measures, without any danger to the succession in the royal Protestant +line of Hanover. + +You are pleased to advance a topic, which I could never heartily approve +of in any party, although they have each in their turn advanced it while +they had the superiority. You tell us, "It is hard that while every +private man shall have the liberty to choose what servants he pleaseth, +the same privilege should be refused to a king." This assertion, crudely +understood, can hardly be supported. If by servants be only meant those +who are purely menial, who provide for their master's food and clothing, +or for the convenience and splendour of his family, the point is not +worth debating. But the bad or good choice of a chancellor, a secretary, +an ambassador, a treasurer, and many other officers, is of very high +consequence to the whole kingdom; so is likewise that amphibious race of +courtiers between servants and ministers; such as the steward, +chamberlain, treasurer of the household and the like, being all of the +privy council, and some of the cabinet, who according to their talents, +their principles, and their degree of favour, may be great instruments +of good or evil, both to the subject and the prince; so that the +parallel is by no means adequate between a prince's court and a private +family. And yet if an insolent footman be troublesome in the +neighbourhood; if he breaks the people's windows, insults their +servants, breaks into other folk's houses to pilfer what he can find, +although he belong to a duke, and be a favourite in his station, yet +those who are injured may, without just offence, complain to his lord, +and for want of redress get a warrant to send him to the stocks, to +Bridewell, or to Newgate, according to the nature and degree of his +delinquencies. Thus the servants of the prince, whether menial or +otherwise, if they be of his council, are subject to the enquiries and +prosecutions of the great council of the nation, even as far as to +capital punishment; and so must ever be in our constitution, till a +minister can procure a majority even of that council to shelter him; +which I am sure you will allow to be a desperate crisis under any party +of the most plausible denomination. + +The only instance you produce, or rather insinuate, to prove the late +invectives against the King, Queen, and Royal Family, is drawn from that +deduction of the English history, published in several papers by the +_Craftsman_; wherein are shewn the bad consequences to the public, as +well as to the prince, from the practices of evil ministers in most +reigns, and at several periods, when the throne was filled by wise +monarchs as well as by weak. This deduction, therefore, cannot +reasonably give the least offence to a British king, when he shall +observe that the greatest and ablest of his predecessors, by their own +candour, by a particular juncture of affairs, or by the general +infirmity of human nature, have sometimes put too much trust in +confident, insinuating, and avaricious ministers. + +Wisdom, attended by virtue and a generous nature, is not unapt to be +imposed on. Thus Milton describes Uriel, "the sharpest-sighted spirit in +heaven," and "regent of the sun," deceived by the dissimulation and +flattery of the devil, for which the poet gives a philosophical reason, +but needless here to quote.[218] Is anything more common, or more +useful, than to caution wise men in high stations against putting too +much trust in undertaking servants, cringing flatterers, or designing +friends? Since the Asiatic custom of governing by prime ministers hath +prevailed in so many courts of Europe, how careful should every prince +be in the choice of the person on whom so great a trust is devolved, +whereon depend the safety and welfare of himself and all his subjects. +Queen Elizabeth, whose administration is frequently quoted as the best +pattern for English princes to follow, could not resist the artifices of +the Earl of Leicester, who, although universally allowed to be the most +ambitious, insolent, and corrupt person of his age, was yet her +greatest, and almost her only favourite: (his religion indeed being +partly puritan and partly infidel, might have better tallied with +present times) yet this wise queen would never suffer the openest +enemies of that overgrown lord to be sacrificed to his vengeance; nor +durst he charge them with a design of introducing Popery or the Spanish +pretender. + +How many great families do we all know, whose masters have passed for +persons of good abilities, during the whole course of their lives, and +yet the greatest part of whose estates have sunk in the hands of their +stewards and receivers; their revenues paid them in scanty portions, at +large discount, and treble interest, though they did not know it; while +the tenants were daily racked, and at the same time accused to their +landlords of insolvency. Of this species are such managers, who, like +honest Peter Waters, pretend to clear an estate, keep the owner +penniless, and, after seven years, leave him five times more in debt, +while they sink half a plum into their own pockets. + +Those who think themselves concerned, may give you thanks for that +gracious liberty you are pleased to allow them of "taking vengeance on +the ministers, and there shooting their envenomed arrows." As to myself; +I neither owe you vengeance, nor make use of such weapons: but it is +your weakness, or ill fortune, or perhaps the fault of your +constitution, to convert wholesome remedies into poison; for you have +received better and more frequent instructions than any minister of your +age and country, if God had given you the grace to apply them. + +I dare promise you the thanks of half the kingdom, if you will please to +perform the promise you have made of suffering the _Craftsman_ and +company, or whatever other "infamous wretches and execrable villains" +you mean, to take their vengeance only on your own sacred ministerial +person, without bringing any of your brethren, much less the most remote +branch of the Royal Family, into the debate. This generous offer I +suspected from the first; because there were never heard of so many, so +unnecessary, and so severe prosecutions as you have promoted during your +ministry, in a kingdom where the liberty of the press is so much +pretended to be allowed. But in reading a page or two, I found you +thought it proper to explain away your grant; for there you tell us, +that "these miscreants" (meaning the writers against you) "are to +remember that the laws have ABUNDANTLY LESS generous, less mild +and merciful sentiments" than yourself, and into their secular hands the +poor authors must be delivered to fines, prisons, pillories, whippings, +and the gallows. Thus your promise of impunity, which began somewhat +jesuitically, concludes with the mercy of a Spanish inquisitor. + +If it should so happen that I am neither "abettor, patron, protector," +nor "supporter" of these imaginary invectives "against the King, her +Majesty, or any of the Royal Family," I desire to know what +satisfaction I am to get from you, or the creature you employed in +writing the libel which I am now answering? It will be no excuse to +say, that I differ from you in every particular of your political +reason and practise; because that will be to load the best, the +soundest, and most numerous part of the kingdom with the denominations +you are pleased to bestow upon me, that they are "Jacobites, wicked +miscreants, infamous wretches, execrable villains, and defamers of the +King, Queen, and all the Royal Family," and "guilty of high treason." +You cannot know my style; but I can easily know your works, which are +performed in the sight of the sun. Your good inclinations are +visible; but I begin to doubt the strength of your credit, even at +court, that you have not power to make his Majesty believe me the +person which you represent in your libel: as most infallibly you have +often attempted, and in vain, because I must otherwise have found it +by the marks of his royal displeasure. However, to be angry with you +to whom I am indebted for the greatest obligation I could possibly +receive, would be the highest ingratitude. It is to YOU I owe that +reputation I have acquired for some years past of being a lover of my +country and its constitution: to YOU I owe the libels and scurrilities +conferred upon me by the worst of men, and consequently some degree of +esteem and friendship from the best. From YOU I learned the skill of +distinguishing between a patriot and a plunderer of his country: and +from YOU I hope in time to acquire the knowledge of being a loyal, +faithful, and useful servant to the best of princes, King George the +Second; and therefore I can conclude, by your example, but with +greater truth, that I am not only with humble submission and respect, +but with infinite gratitude, Sir, your most obedient and most obliged +servant, + + W. P. + + + + + INDEX + + + Acheson, Sir Arthur, 246. + + Alberoni's expedition, 207. + + Allen, Joshua, Lord, his attack on Swift, 168, 169, 175, 176, 236, 237; + account of, 175. + + America, emigration from Ireland to, 120. + + Arachne, fable of, 21. + + + Ballaquer, Carteret's secretary, 242. + + Bank, proposal for a national, in Ireland, 27, 31, 38, 42, 43; + subscribers to the, 49-51. + + Barbou, Dr Nicholas, 69. + + Barnstaple, the chief market for Irish wool, 18. + + Beggars in Ireland, 70; + Proposal for giving Badges to, 323-335; + reason for the number of, 341. + + Birch, Colonel John, 6. + + Bishops, Swift's proposal to sell the lands of the, 252 _et seq._ + + Bladon, Colonel, 23. + + Bolingbroke, Lord, his contributions to the "Craftsman," 219, 375, 377. + + Boulter, Archbishop, his scheme for lowering the gold coinage, 353; + opposed by Swift, 353, 354. + + Browne, Sir John, his "Scheme of the money matters of Ireland," 66; + Swift's answer to his "Memorial," 109-116. + + Burnet, William, 121. + + + Carteret, John, Lord, 227; + Swift's Vindication of, 229-249. + + Coinage, McCulla's proposal about, 179-190; + Swift's counter-proposal, 183. + + Coining, forbidden in Ireland, 88, 134. + + Compton, Sir Spencer, 387. + + Corn, imported into Ireland from England, 17. + + "Cossing," explained, 271. + + Cotter, ballad upon, 23. + + "Craftsman," the, 219, 375, 397, 399. + + + Davenport, Colonel, 280. + + Delany, Dr. Patrick, 244. + + Dublin, thieves and roughs in, 56; + Examination of certain Abuses, etc, in, 263-282; + Advice to the Freemen of, in the Choice of + a Member of Parliament, 311-316; + Considerations in the Choice of a Recorder of, 319, 320. + + Dunkin, Rev. William, Swift's efforts in behalf of, 364, 368. + + Dutton-Colt, Sir Harry, 280. + + + Elliston, Ebenezer, Last Speech of, 56 _et seq._ + + Esquire, the title of, 49. + + + Footmen, Petition of the, 307. + + French, Humphry, Lord Mayor of Dublin, 310, 311. + + French army, recruited in Ireland, 218, 220. + + Frogs, propagation of, in Ireland, 340. + + + Galway, Earl of, 235. + + Grafton, Duke of, 194. + + Grimston, Lord, his "Lawyer's Fortune, or Love in a Hollow Tree," 24. + + Gwythers, Dr., introduces frogs into Ireland, 340. + + + Hanmer, Sir Thomas, 387. + + Hospital for Incurables, Scheme for a, 283-303. + + Hutcheson, Hartley, 234. + + + Injured Lady, Story of the, 97-103; + Answer to the, 107-109. + + Ireland, the Test Act in, 2, 5 _et seq._; + exportation of wool from, forbidden, 17, 18, 110, 111, 157, 158; + absentee landlords, 25, 69, 71, 101, 162; + Sheridan's account of the state of, 26-30; + proposal for establishing a National Bank in, 31, 38, 42, 43; + maxims controlled in, 65; + poverty of, 25, 66, 87, 89, 90, 122; + increase of rents in, 67, 163; + begging and thieving in, 70; + Short view of the State of, 83-91; + importation of cattle into England prohibited, 86, 100, 110, 221; + encouragement of the linen manufactures in, 102, 158; + luxury and extravagance among the women in, 124, 139, 198, 199, 219; + condition of the roads in, 130; + bad management of the bogs in, 131; + dishonesty of tradesmen in, 142, 147; + the National Debt of, 196; + famine in, 203; + population of, 208; + persecution of Roman Catholics in, 263. + + Irish brogue, the, 346. + + Irish eloquence, 361. + + Irish language, proposal to abolish the, 133. + + Irish peers, titles of, 349. + + + Japan, Account of the Court and Empire of, 382-391. + + + King, Archbishop, 21, 119, 136, 244, 326. + + + Lindsay, Robert, 259. + + Linen trade in Ireland, the, 88, 102, 158. + + Littleton, Sir Thomas, 7. + + Lorrain, Paul, ordinary of Newgate, 34. + + + Macarrell, John, 310, 311. + + McCulla's Project about halfpence, 179-190. + + Manufactures, Irish, Proposal for the Universal use of, 17-30; + Proposal that all Ladies should appear constantly in, 193-199. + _See also_ "Woollen Manufactures." + + Mar, Earl of, 164. + + Maxwell, Henry, his pamphlets in favour of a bank in Ireland, 38. + + Mist, Nathaniel, 194. + + + National Debt, Proposal to pay off the, 251-258. + + Navigation Act, the effect of, in Ireland, 66, 86. + + Norton, Richard, 301. + + + "Orange, the squeezing of the," 275. + + + Penn, William, 120. + + Perron, Cardinal, anecdote of, 238. + + Peterborough, Lord, letter of Swift to, April 28, 1726, 154-156. + + Phipps, Sir Constantine, 244. + + "Pistorides" (Richard Tighe), 233, 235. + + Poor, Considerations about maintaining the, 339-342. + + Poyning's Law, 103, 105. + + Psalmanazar, George, his Description of the Island of Formosa, 211. + + Pulteney, William, the "Craftsman" founded by, 219, 375; + "Answer of, to Robert Walpole," 392-400. + + + Quilca, life at, 74, 75-77. + + + Rents, raising of, in Ireland, 163. + + Roads, in Ireland, condition of the, 130. + + Roman Catholics, legislation against, 5; + petty persecution of, in Ireland, 263. + + Rowley, Hercules, his pamphlets against + the establishment of a bank in Ireland, 38. + + + Savoy, Duke of, 277. + + Scotland, description of, 97, 98. + + Scots in Sweden, 9. + + Scottish colonists in Ulster, 104. + + Sheridan, Dr. Thomas, 74; + his account of the state of Ireland, 26-30; + given a chaplaincy by Carteret, 232, 241; + anecdote of Carteret, related by, 232; + informed against by Tighe, 233, 242. + + Stanley, Sir John, Commissioner of Customs, 197. + + Stannard, Eaton, elected Recorder of Dublin, 319, 366. + + Stopford, Dr. James, Bishop of Cloyne, 243. + + Street cries explained, 268-270, 275-281. + + Swan, Mr., 280. + + Swandlingbar, origin of the name of, 347. + + Swearer's Bank, the, 41. + + Swift, Godwin, 347. + + Swift, Jonathan, the freedom of the City of Dublin conferred on, 168; + his speech on the occasion, 169-172; + confesses the authorship of the "Drapier's Letters," 171; + born in Dublin, 267; + his opposition to Archbishop Boulter, 353, 354; + his speech on the lowering of the coin, 357; + his efforts in behalf of Mr. Dunkin, 364-368; + receives the freedom of the City of Cork, 367; + appoints Dr. Wynne Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, 370. + + + Temple, Sir William, his comparison of Holland and Ireland, 164. + + Test Act, in Ireland, 2, 5 _et seq._ + + Thompson, Edward, Commissioner of the Revenue in Ireland, 315. + + Tickell, T., 242. + + Tighe, Richard, informs against Sheridan, 74, 233, 242; + attacks Carteret, 228; + ridiculed as "Pistorides," 233, 235. + + "Traulus" (Lord Allen), 176, 236. + + Trees, planting of, in Ireland, 132. + + + Violante, Madam, 234. + + + Wallis, Dr., 280. + + Walpole, Sir Robert, interview of Swift with, in 1726, 153; + his views on Ireland, 154; + satire on, 276; + his literary assistants, 379, 393 _et seq._; + character of, 384 _et seq._ + + Waters, Edward, Swift's printer, 171, 193. + + Whitshed, Lord Chief Justice, 14, 86, 115, 129, 171, 193, 194. + + Wine, proposed tax on, 196, 197. + + Wool, Irish, exportation of, + forbidden by law, 17, 18, 110, 111, 157, 158; + effect of the prohibition on England, 160. + + Woollen manufactures, Irish people should use their own, 137 _et seq._; + Observations on the case of the, 147-150. + + Wynne, Rev. Dr. John, Sub-dean of St. Patrick's, 370. + + + + +~FOOTNOTES:~ + +[1] "Unpublished Letters of Swift," edited by Dr. Birkbeck Hill, 1899. + +[2] Mr. Murray's MSS., quoted by Craik. + +[3] It appeared almost impossible for Swift to see the injustice of this +test clause. In reality, it had been the outcome of the legislation +against the Irish Roman Catholics. In 1703 the Irish parliament had +passed a bill by which it was enacted, "that all estates should be +equally divided among the children of Roman Catholics, notwithstanding +any settlements to the contrary, unless the persons to whom they were to +descend, would qualify, by taking the oaths prescribed by government, +and conform to the established church" (Crawford's "History of Ireland," +1783, vol. ii., p. 256). The bill was transmitted to England, for +approval there, at a time when Anne was asking the Emperor for his +indulgence towards the Protestants of his realms. This placed the Queen +in an awkward position, since she could hardly expect indulgence from a +Roman Catholic monarch towards Protestants when she, a Protestant +monarch, was persecuting Roman Catholics. To obviate this dilemma, the +Queen's ministers added a clause to the bill, "by which all persons in +Ireland were rendered incapable of any employment under the crown, or, +of being magistrates in any city, who, agreeably to the English test +act, did not receive the sacrament as prescribed by the Church of +England" (_ibid._). Under this clause, of course, came all the +Protestant Dissenters, including the Presbyterians "from the north." The +bill so amended passed into law; but its iniquitous influence was a +disgrace to the legislators of the day, and his advocacy of it, however +much he was convinced of its expediency, proves Swift a short-sighted +statesman wherever the enemies of the Church of England were concerned. +[T. S.] + +[4] Colonel John Birch (1616-1691) was of Lancashire. Swift calls him +"of Herefordshire," because he had been appointed governor of the city +of Hereford, after he had captured it by a stratagem, in 1654. Devotedly +attached to Presbyterian principles, Birch was a man of shrewd business +abilities and remarkable oratorical gifts. On the restoration of Charles +II., in which he took a prominent part on account of Charles's +championship of Presbyterianism, Birch held important business posts. He +sat in parliament for Leominster and Penrhyn, and his plans for the +rebuilding of London after the Great Fire, though they were not adopted, +were yet such as would have been extremely salutary had they been +accepted. Of his eloquence, Burnet says: "He was the roughest and +boldest speaker in the house, and talked in the language and phrases of +a carrier, but with a beauty and eloquence, that was always acceptable." +The reference to the carrier is purposely made, since Birch did not hide +the fact that he had once pursued that occupation. Swift was twenty-four +years of age when Birch died, so that he must have been a very young man +when he heard Birch make the remark he quotes. [T. S.] + +[5] Sir Thomas Littleton (1647?-1710) was chosen Speaker of the English +House of Commons by the junto in 1698. Onslow, in a note to Burnet's +"History," speaks of the good work he did as treasurer of the navy. +Macky describes him as "a stern-looked man, with a brown complexion, +well shaped" (see "Characters"). At the time of Swift's writing the +above letter, Littleton was member for Portsmouth. [T. S.] + +[6] Viscount Molesworth, in his "Considerations for promoting the +Agriculture of Ireland" (1723), pointed out, that even with the added +expense of freight, it was cheaper to import corn from England, than to +grow it in Ireland itself. [T. S.] + +[7] Mr. Lecky points out that in England, after the Revolution, the +councils were directed by commercial influence. At that time there was +an important woollen industry in England which, it was feared, the +growing Irish woollen manufactures would injure. The English +manufacturers petitioned for their total destruction, and the House of +Lords, in response to the petition, represented to the King that "the +growing manufacture of cloth in Ireland, both by the cheapness of all +sorts of necessaries of life, and goodness of materials for making all +manner of cloth, doth invite your subjects of England, with their +families and servants, to leave their habitations to settle there, to +the increase of the woollen manufacture in Ireland, which makes your +loyal subjects in this kingdom very apprehensive that the further growth +of it may greatly prejudice the said manufacture here." The Commons went +further, and suggested the advisability of discouraging the industry by +hindering the exportation of wool from Ireland to other countries and +limiting it to England alone. The Act of 10 and 11 Will. III. c. 10, +made the suggestion law and even prohibited entirely the exportation of +Irish wool anywhere. Thus, as Swift puts it, "the politic gentlemen of +Ireland have depopulated vast tracts of the best land, for the feeding +of sheep." See notes to later tracts in this volume on "Observations on +the Woollen Manufactures" and "Letter on the Weavers." [T. S.] + +[8] That Swift did not exaggerate may be gathered from the statute +books, and, more immediately, from Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland" (1779), Arthur Dobbs's "Trade and Improvement of +Ireland," Lecky's "History of Ireland," vols. i. and ii., and Monck +Mason's notes in his "History of St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 320 _et +seq._ [T. S.] + +[9] Barnstaple was, at that time, the chief market in England for Irish +wool. [T. S.] + +[10] In 1726, Swift presented some pieces of Irish manufactured silk to +the Princess of Wales and to Mrs. Howard. In sending the silk to Mrs. +Howard he wrote also a letter in which he remarked: "I beg you will not +tell any parliament man from whence you had that plaid; otherwise, out +of malice, they will make a law to cut off all our weavers' fingers." +[T. S.] + +[11] This last sentence is as the original edition has it. In Faulkner's +first collected edition and in the fifth volume of the "Miscellanies" +(London, 1735), the following occurs in its place: "I must confess, that +as to the former, I should not be sorry if they would stay at home; and +for the latter, I hope, in a little time we shall have no occasion for +them." + +Swift knew what he was advising when he suggested that the people of +Ireland should not import their goods from England. He was well aware +that English manufactures were not really necessary. Sir William Petty +had, a half century before, pointed out that a third of the manufactures +then imported into Ireland could be produced by its own factories, +another third could as easily and as cheaply be obtained from countries +other than England, and "consequently, that it was scarce necessary at +all for Ireland to receive any goods of England, and not convenient to +receive above one-fourth part, from thence, of the whole which it +needeth to import" ("Polit. Anatomy of Ireland," 1672). [T. S.] + +[12] Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" (London, 1735) print, instead of, +"as any prelate in Christendom," the words, "as if he had not been born +among us." The Archbishop was Dr. William King, with whom Swift had had +much correspondence. See "Letters" in Scott's edition (1824). + +Dr. William King, who succeeded Narcissus Marsh as Archbishop of Dublin +in March, 1702-3. Swift had not always been on friendly terms with King, +but, at this time, they were in sympathy as to the wrongs and grievances +of Ireland. King strongly supported the agitation against Wood's +halfpence, but later, when he attempted to interfere with the affairs of +the Deanery of St. Patrick's, Swift and he came to an open rupture. See +also volume on the Drapier's Letters, in this edition. [T. S.] + +[13] Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" of 1735 print this amount as "three +thousand six hundred." This was the sum paid by the lord-lieutenant to +the lords-justices, who represented him in the government of Ireland. +The lord-lieutenant himself did not then, as the viceroy of Ireland does +now, take up his residence in the country. Although in receipt of a +large salary, he only came to Dublin to deliver the speeches at the +openings of parliament, or on some other special occasion. [T. S.] + +[14] The Dublin edition of this pamphlet has a note stating that Cotter +was a gentleman of Cork who was executed for committing a rape on a +Quaker. [T. S.] + +[15] Said to be Colonel Bladon (1680-1746), who translated the +Commentaries of Caesar. He was a dependant of the Duke of Marlborough, to +whom he dedicated this translation. [T. S.] + +[16] Lord Grimston. William Luckyn, first Viscount Grimston (1683-1756), +was created an Irish peer with the title Baron Dunboyne in 1719. The +full title of the play to which Swift refers, is "The Lawyer's Fortune, +or, Love in a Hollow Tree." It was published in 1705. Swift refers to +Grimston in his verses "On Poetry, a Rhapsody." Pope, in one of his +satires, calls him "booby lord." Grimston withdrew his play from +circulation after the second edition, but it was reprinted in Rotterdam +in 1728 and in London in 1736. Dr. Johnson told Chesterfield a story +which made the Duchess of Marlborough responsible for this London +reprint, which had for frontispiece the picture of an ass wearing a +coronet. [T. S.] + +[17] The original edition prints "ministers" instead of "chief +governors." [T. S.] + +[18] In 1720 Bishop Nicholson of Derry, writing to the Archbishop of +Canterbury, describes the wretched condition of the towns and the +country districts, and the misery of their population: + +"Our trade of all kind is at a stand, insomuch as that our most eminent +merchants, who used to pay bills of _1,000l._ at sight, are hardly able +to raise _100l._ in so many days. Spindles of yarn (our daily bread) are +fallen from _2s. 6d._ to _15d._, and everything also in proportion. +Our best beef (as good as I ever ate in England) is sold under _3/4d._ a +pound, and all this not from any extraordinary plenty of commodities, +but from a perfect dearth of money. Never did I behold even in Picardy, +Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want as +appeared in the countenances of most of the poor creatures I met with on +the road." (Brit. Mus. Add. MSS. 6116, quoted by Lecky.) [T. S.] + +[19] The "absentee" landlord was an evil to Ireland on which much has +been written. It was difficult to keep the country in order when the +landed proprietors took so little interest in their possessions as to do +nothing but exact rents from their tenants and spend the money so +obtained in England. Two, and even three, hundred years before Swift's +day "absenteeism" had been the cause of much of the rebellion in Ireland +which harassed the English monarchs, who endeavoured to put a stop to +the evil by confiscating the estates of such landlords. Acts were passed +by Richard II. and Henry VIII. to this effect; but in later times, the +statutes were ignored and not enforced, and the Irish landlord, in +endeavours to obtain for himself social recognition and standing in +England which, because of his Irish origin, were denied him, remained in +England indulging himself in lavish expenditure and display. The +consequences of this were the impoverishment of his estates and their +eventual management by rack-renters. These rack-renters, whose only +interest lay in squeezing money out of the impoverished tenants, became +the bane of the agricultural holder. + +Unfortunately, the spirit of "absenteeism" extended itself to the +holders of offices in Ireland, and even the lord-lieutenant rarely took +up his residence in Dublin for any time longer than necessitated by the +immediate demands of his installation and speech-making, although he +drew his emoluments from the Irish revenues. In the "List of Absentees" +instances are given where men appointed to Irish offices would land on +Saturday night, receive the sacrament on Sunday, take the oath in court +on Monday morning, and be on their way back to England by Monday +afternoon. + +It has been calculated that out of a total rental of L1,800,000, as much +as 33-1/3 per cent. was sent out of the country. [T. S.] + +[20] Sheridan, in the sixth number of "The Intelligencer," contributes +an account of the state of Ireland, written to the text, "O patria! O +divum domus!" + +"When I travel through any part of this unhappy kingdom, and I have now +by several excursions made from Dublin, gone through most counties of +it, it raises two passions in my breast of a different kind; an +indignation against those vile betrayers and insulters of it, who +insinuate themselves into favour, by saying, it is a rich nation; and a +sincere passion for the natives, who are sunk to the lowest degree of +misery and poverty, whose houses are dunghills, whose victuals are the +blood of their cattle, or the herbs in the field; and whose clothing, to +the dishonour of God and man, is nakedness. Yet notwithstanding all the +dismal appearances, it is the common phrase of our upstart race of +people, who have suddenly sprang up like the dragon's teeth among us, +_That Ireland was never known to be so rich as it is now_; by which, as +I apprehend, they can only mean themselves, for they have skipped over +the channel from the vantage ground of a dunghill upon no other merit, +either visible or divineable, than that of not having been born among +us. + +"This is the modern way of planting Colonies--Et ubi solitudinem +faciunt, id Imperium vocant. When those who are so unfortunate to be +born here, are excluded from the meanest preferments, and deemed +incapable of being entertained even as common soldiers, whose poor +stipend is but four pence a day. No trade, no emoluments, no +encouragement for learning among the natives, who yet by a perverse +consequence are divided into factions, with as much violence and +rancour, as if they had the wealth of the Indies to contend for. It puts +me in mind of a fable which I read in a monkish author. He quotes for it +one of the Greek mythologists that once upon a time a colony of large +dogs (called the Molossi) transplanted themselves from Epirus to AEtolia, +where they seized those parts of the countries, most fertile in flesh of +all kinds, obliging the native dogs to retire from their best kennels, +to live under ditches and bushes, but to preserve good neighbourhood and +peace; and finding likewise, that the AEtolian dogs might be of some use +in the low offices of life, they passed a decree, that the natives +should be entitled to the short ribs, tops of back, knuckle-bones, and +guts of all the game, which they were obliged by their masters to run +down. This condition was accepted, and what was a little singular, while +the Molossian dogs kept a good understanding among themselves, living in +peace and luxury, these AEtolian curs were perpetually snarling, +growling, barking and tearing at each other's throats: Nay, sometimes +those of the best quality among them, were seen to quarrel with as much +rancour for a rotten gut, as if it had been a fat haunch of venison. But +what need we wonder at this in dogs, when the same is every day +practised among men? + +"Last year I travelled from Dublin to Dundalk, through a country +esteemed the most fruitful part of the kingdom, and so nature intended +it. But no ornaments or improvements of such a scene were visible. No +habitation fit for gentlemen, no farmers' houses, few fields of corn, +and almost a bare face of nature, without new plantations of any kind, +only a few miserable cottages, at three or four miles' distance, and one +Church in the centre between this city and Drogheda. When I arrived at +this last town, the first mortifying sight was the ruins of several +churches, battered down by that usurper, Cromwell, whose fanatic zeal +made more desolation in a few days, than the piety of succeeding +prelates or the wealth of the town have, in more than sixty years, +attempted to repair. + +"Perhaps the inhabitants, through a high strain of virtue, have, in +imitation of the Athenians, made a solemn resolution, never to rebuild +those sacred edifices, but rather leave them in ruins, as monuments, to +perpetuate the detestable memory of that hellish instrument of +rebellion, desolation, and murder. For the Athenians, when Mardonius had +ravaged a great part of Greece, took a formal oath at the Isthmus, to +lose their lives rather than their liberty, to stand by their leaders to +the last, to spare the cities of such barbarians as they conquered. And +what crowned all, the conclusion of their oath was, We will never repair +any of the Temples, which they have burned and destroyed, lest they may +appear to posterity as so many monuments of these wicked barbarians. +This was a glorious resolution; and I am sorry to think, that the +poverty of my countrymen will not let the world suppose, they have acted +upon such a generous principle; yet upon this occasion I cannot but +observe, that there is a fatality in some nations, to be fond of those +who have treated them with the least humanity. Thus I have often heard +the memory of Cromwell, who has depopulated, and almost wholly destroyed +this miserable country, celebrated like that of a saint, and at the same +time the sufferings of the royal martyr turned into ridicule, and his +murder justified even from the pulpit, and all this done with an intent +to gain favour, under a monarchy; which is a new strain of politics that +I shall not pretend to account for. + +"Examine all the eastern towns of Ireland, and you will trace this +horrid instrument of destruction, in defacing of Churches, and +particularly in destroying whatever was ornamental, either within or +without them. We see in the several towns a very few houses scattered +among the ruins of thousands, which he laid level with their streets; +great numbers of castles, the country seats of gentlemen then in being, +still standing in ruin, habitations for bats, daws, and owls, without +the least repairs or succession of other buildings. Nor have the country +churches, as far as my eye could reach, met with any better treatment +from him, nine in ten of them lying among their graves and God only +knows when they are to have a resurrection. When I passed from Dundalk +where this cursed usurper's handy work is yet visible, I cast mine eyes +around from the top of a mountain, from whence I had a wide and a waste +prospect of several venerable ruins. It struck me with a melancholy, not +unlike that expressed by Cicero in one of his letters which being much +upon the like prospect, and concluding with a very necessary reflection +on the uncertainty of things in this world, I shall here insert a +translation of what he says: 'In my return from Asia, as I sailed from +AEgina, towards Megara, I began to take a prospect of the several +countries round me. Behind me was AEgina; before me Megara; on the right +hand the Piraeus; and on the left was Corinth; which towns were formerly +in a most flourishing condition; now they lie prostrate and in ruin. + +"'Thus I began to think with myself: Shall we who have but a trifling +existence, express any resentment, when one of us either dies a natural +death, or is slain, whose lives are necessarily of a short duration, +when at one view I beheld the carcases of so many great cities?' What if +he had seen the natives of those free republics, reduced to all the +miserable consequences of a conquered people, living without the common +defences against hunger and cold, rather appearing like spectres than +men? I am apt to think, that seeing his fellow creatures in ruin like +this, it would have put him past all patience for philosophic +reflection. + +"As for my own part, I confess, that the sights and occurrences which I +had in this my last journey, so far transported me to a mixture of rage +and compassion, that I am not able to decide, which had the greater +influence upon my spirits; for this new cant, of a rich and flourishing +nation, was still uppermost in my thoughts; every mile I travelled, +giving me such ample demonstrations to the contrary. For this reason, I +have been at the pains to render a most exact and faithful account of +all the visible signs of riches, which I met with in sixty miles' riding +through the most public roads, and the best part of the kingdom. First, +as to trade, I met nine cars loaden with old musty, shrivelled hides; +one car-load of butter; four jockeys driving eight horses, all out of +case; one cow and calf driven by a man and his wife; six tattered +families flitting to be shipped off to the West Indies; a colony of a +hundred and fifty beggars, all repairing to people our metropolis, and +by encreasing the number of hands, to encrease its wealth, upon the old +maxim, that people are the riches of a nation, and therefore ten +thousand mouths, with hardly ten pair of hands, or hardly any work to +employ them, will infallibly make us a rich and flourishing people. +Secondly, Travellers enough, but seven in ten wanting shirts and +cravats; nine in ten going bare foot, and carrying their brogues and +stockings in their hands; one woman in twenty having a pillion, the rest +riding bare backed: Above two hundred horsemen, with four pair of boots +amongst them all; seventeen saddles of leather (the rest being made of +straw) and most of their garrons only shod before. I went into one of +the principal farmer's houses, out of curiosity, and his whole furniture +consisted of two blocks for stools, a bench on each side the fire-place +made of turf, six trenchers, one bowl, a pot, six horn spoons, three +noggins, three blankets, one of which served the man and maid servant; +the other the master of the family, his wife and five children; a small +churn, a wooden candlestick, a broken stick for a pair of tongs. In the +public towns, one third of the inhabitants walking the streets bare +foot; windows half built up with stone, to save the expense of glass, +the broken panes up and down supplied by brown paper, few being able to +afford white; in some places they were stopped with straw or hay. +Another mark of our riches, are the signs at the several inns upon the +road, viz. In some, a staff stuck in the thatch, with a turf at the end +of it; a staff in a dunghill with a white rag wrapped about the head; a +pole, where they can afford it, with a besom at the top; an oatmeal cake +on a board at the window; and, at the principal inns of the road, I have +observed the signs taken down and laid against the wall near the door, +being taken from their post to prevent the shaking of the house down by +the wind. In short, I saw not one single house, in the best town I +travelled through, which had not manifest appearances of beggary and +want. I could give many more instances of our wealth, but I hope these +will suffice for the end I propose. + +"It may be objected, what use it is of to display the poverty of the +nation, in the manner I have done. I answer, I desire to know for what +ends, and by what persons, this new opinion of our flourishing state has +of late been so industriously advanced: One thing is certain, that the +advancers have either already found their own account, or have been +heartily promised, or at least have been entertained with hopes, by +seeing such an opinion pleasing to those who have it in their power to +reward. + +"It is no doubt a very generous principle in any person to rejoice in +the felicities of a nation, where themselves are strangers or +sojourners: But if it be found that the same persons on all other +occasions express a hatred and contempt of the nation and people in +general, and hold it for a maxim--'That the more such a country is +humbled, the more their own will rise'; it need be no longer a secret, +why such an opinion, and the advantages of it are encouraged. And +besides, if the bayliff reports to his master, that the ox is fat and +strong, when in reality it can hardly carry its own legs, is it not +natural to think, that command will be given, for a greater load to be +put upon it?" [T. S.] + +[21] This was a project for the establishment of a national bank for +Ireland. Swift ridiculed the proposal (see p. 31), no doubt, out of +suspicion of the acts of stock-jobbers and the monied interests which +were enlisted on the side of the Whigs. His experience, also, of the +abortive South Sea Schemes would tend to make his opposition all the +stronger. But the plans for the bank were not ill-conceived, and had +Swift been in calmer temper he might have seen the advantages which +attached to the proposals. [T. S.] + +[22] Thus in original edition. In Faulkner and the "Miscellanies" of +1735 the words are, "altogether imaginary." [T. S.] + +[23] The motto round a crown piece, which was the usual price of +permits. [_Orig. edit._] + +[24] The Dean of St. Patrick's. [F.] + +[25] Paul Lorrain, who was appointed ordinary of Newgate in 1698, +compiled numerous confessions and dying speeches of prisoners condemned +to be hanged. A letter to Swift, from Pope and Bolingbroke, dated +December, 1725, mentions him as "the great historiographer," and Steele, +in the "Tatler" and "Spectator," refers to "Lorrain's Saints." Lorrain +attended some famous criminals to the scaffold, including Captain Kidd +and Jack Sheppard. [T. S.] + +[26] The following is an account of the proceedings of both the houses +of the Irish parliament upon the subject of this proposed bank. + +In the year 1720, James, Earl of Abercorn, Gustavus, Viscount Boyne, Sir +Ralph Gore, Bart., Oliver St. George, and Michael Ward, Esqs., in behalf +of themselves and others, presented a petition to his Majesty for a +charter of incorporation, whereby they might be established as a bank, +under the name and title of the Bank of Ireland. They proposed to raise +a fund of L500,000 to supply merchants, etc., with money at five per +cent., and agreed to contribute L50,000 to the service of government in +consideration of their obtaining a charter. In their petition they +state, that "the raising of a million for that purpose is creating a +greater fund than the nation can employ." Soon after the above-mentioned +petition was lodged, a second application was made by Lord Forbes and +others, who proposed raising a million for that purpose, and offered to +discharge "the L50,000 national debt of that kingdom, in five years from +the time they should obtain a charter." The latter application, being +subsequent in point of date, was withdrawn, Lord Forbes and his friends +having acquainted the Lord-lieutenant that, "rather than, by a +competition, obstruct a proposal of so general advantage, they were +willing to desist from their application." The former was accordingly +approved of, and the King, on the 29th of July, 1721, issued letters of +Privy Seal, directing that a charter of incorporation should pass the +Great Seal of Ireland. ("Comm. Journ.," vol. iii, Appendix ix, page cc, +etc.) + +When the parliament of Ireland met, on the 12th of September following, +the Duke of Grafton, lord lieutenant, in his speech from the throne, +communicated the intention of his Majesty to both houses, and concluded +by saying, "As this is a matter of general and national concern, his +Majesty leaves it to the wisdom of Parliament to consider what +advantages the public may receive by erecting a bank, and in what manner +it may be settled upon a safe foundation, so as to be beneficial to the +kingdom." The commons, in their address, which was voted unanimously on +the 14th, expressed their gratitude for his Majesty's goodness and royal +favour in directing a commission to establish a bank, and on the 21st +moved for the papers to be laid before them; they even, on the 29th, +agreed to the following resolution of the committee they had appointed, +"that the establishment of a bank upon a solid and good foundation, +under proper regulations and restrictions, will contribute to restoring +of credit, and support of the trade and manufacture of the kingdom;" +but, when the heads of a bill for establishing the bank came to be +discussed, a strenuous opposition was raised to it. On the 9th of +December Sir Thomas Taylor, chairman of the committee to whom the matter +had been referred, reported "that they had gone through the first +enacting paragraph, and disagreed to the same." Accordingly, the +question being proposed and put, the house (after a division, wherein +there appeared 150 for the question and 80 against it) voted that "they +could not find any safe foundation for establishing a public bank," and +resolved that an address, conformable to this resolution, should be +presented to the lord-lieutenant. (Comm. Journ., vol. iii, pp. +247-289.) + +The proceedings of the House of Lords resembled that of the Commons; on +the 8th of November they concurred with the resolution of their +committee, which was unfavourable to the establishment of a bank. A +protest was, however, entered, signed by four temporal and two spiritual +peers, and when an address to his Majesty, grounded on that resolution, +was proposed, a long debate ensued, which occupied two days. On the 9th +December a list of the subscriptions was called for, and on the 16th +they resolved, that if any lord, spiritual or temporal, should attempt +to obtain a charter to erect a bank, "he should be deemed a contemnor of +the authority of that house, and a betrayer of the liberty of his +country." They ordered, likewise, that this resolution should be +presented by the chancellor to the lord lieutenant. ("Lord's Journal," +vol. ii, pp. 687-720.) _Monck Mason's "Hist. St. Patrick's Cathedral_," +p. 325, note 3. [T. S.] + +[27] The title, Esquire, according to a high authority, was anciently +applied "to the younger sons of nobility and their heirs in the +immediate line, to the eldest sons of knights and their heirs, to the +esquire of the knights and others of that rank in his Majesty's service, +and to such as had eminent employment in the Commonwealth, and were not +knighted, such as judges, sheriffs, and justices of the peace during +their offices, and some others. But now," says Sir Edward Walker, "in +the days of Charles I., the addition is so increased, that he is a very +poor and inconsiderable person who writes himself less." + +Accordingly, most of the signatures for shares in the projected National +Bank of Ireland, were dignified with the addition of Esquire, which, +added to the obscurity of the subscribers, incurs the ridicule of our +author in the following treatise. [S.] + +[28] SUBSCRIBERS TO THE BANK, PLACED ACCORDING TO THEIR ORDER AND +QUALITY, WITH NOTES AND QUERIES. + +A true and exact account of the nobility, gentry, and traders, of the +kingdom of Ireland, who, upon mature deliberation, are of opinion, that +the establishing a bank upon real security, would be highly for the +advantage of the trade of the said kingdom, and for increasing the +current species of money in the same. Extracted from the list of the +subscribers to the Bank of Ireland, published by order of the +commissioners appointed to receive subscriptions. + + _Nobility._ + + Archbishops 0 + Marquisses 0 + Earls 0 + Viscounts 3 + Barons 1 + Bishops 2 + French Baron 1 + +N. B.: The temporal Lords of Ireland are 125, the Bishops 22. In all 147, +exclusive of the aforesaid French Count. + + _Gentry._ + + Baronets 1 + Knights 1 + +N. B. Total of baronets and knights in Ireland uncertain; but in common +computation supposed to be more than two. + +Members of the House of Commons--41. One whereof reckoned before amongst +the two knights. + +N. B. Number of Commoners in all 300. + +Esquires not Members of Parliament--37 + +N. B. There are at least 20 of the said 37 Esquires whose names are +little known, and whose qualifications as Esqrs. are referred to the king +at arms; and the said king is desired to send to the publisher hereof a +true account of the whole number of such real or reputed Esqrs. as are to +be found in this kingdom. + + _Clergy._ + + Deans 1 + Arch-Deacons 2 + Rectors 3 + Curates 2 + +N. B. Of this number one French dean, one French curate, and one +bookseller. + +Officers not members of Parliament--16 + +N. B. Of the above number 10 French; but uncertain whether on whole or +half pay, broken, or of the militia. + + _Women._ + + Ladies 1 + Widows 3 whereof one qualified to be deputy-governor. + Maidens 4 + +N. B. It being uncertain in what class to place the eight female +subscribers, whether in that of nobility, gentry, &c. it is thought +proper to insert them here betwixt the officers and traders. + + _Traders._ + + { Dublin 1 a Frenchman. + Aldermen of { Cork 1 + { Limerick 1 + Waterford 0 + Drogheda 0 + &c. 0 + +Merchants 29, _viz._ 10 French, of London 1, of Cork 1, of Belfast 1. + +N. B. The place of abode of three of the said merchants, _viz._ of +London, Cork and Belfast, being mentioned, the publisher desires to know +where the rest may be wrote to, and whether they deal in wholesale or +retail, _viz._ + +Master dealers, &c. 59, cashiers 1, bankers 4, chemist 1, player 1, +Popish vintner 1, bricklayer 1, chandler 1, doctors of physic 4, +chirurgeons 2, pewterer 1, attorneys 4 (besides one esq. attorney before +reckoned), Frenchmen 8, but whether pensioners, barbers, or markees, +uncertain. As to the rest of the M----rs, the publisher of this paper, +though he has used his utmost diligence, has not been able to get a +satisfactory account either as to their country, trade or profession. + +N. B. The total of men, women and children in Ireland, besides Frenchmen, +is 2,000,000. Total of the land of Ireland acres 16,800,000. (Vide +Reasons for a Bank, &c.) + +Quaere, How many of the said acres are in possession of 1 French baron, 1 +French dean, 1 French curate, 1 French alderman, 10 French merchants, 8 +Messieurs Frances, 1 esq. projector, 1 esq. attorney, 6 officers of the +army, 8 women, 1 London merchant, 1 Cork merchant, 1 Belfast merchant, +18 merchants whose places of abode are not mentioned, 1 cashier, 4 +bankers, 1 gentleman projector, 1 player, 1 chemist, 1 Popish vintner, 1 +bricklayer, 1 chandler, 4 doctors of physic, 2 chirurgeons, 1 pewterer, +4 gentlemen attorneys, besides 28 gentleman dealers, yet unknown, _ut +supra_? + +Dublin: Printed by John Harding in Molesworth's Court, in Fishamble +Street. (_Reprinted from original broadside, n.d._) + +[29] In the capacity of a postillion, no doubt. [T. S.] + +[30] Which means that she kept an eating-house or restaurant, and became +eventually a bankrupt. [T. S.] + +[31] The livery of a footman. [T. S.] + +[32] As a constable. [T. S.] + +[33] An innkeeper. [T. S.] + +[34] This paragraph is printed as given by Faulkner in ed. 1735, vol. +iv. [T. S.] + +[35] See note on Paul Lorrain, p. 34. It was the duty of the Ordinary of +a prison to compose such dying speeches. [T. S.] + +[36] His parents were Dissenters, and gave him a good education. [T. S.] + +[37] Sir Henry Craik remarks on this title: "In modern language this +might well have been entitled, 'The theories of political economy proved +to have no application to Ireland.'" The word "controlled" is used in +the now obsolete sense of "confuted." [T. S.] + +[38] Sir John Browne, in his "Scheme of the Money Matters of Ireland" +(Dublin, 1729), calculated that the total currency, including paper, was +about L914,000, but the author of "Considerations on Seasonable Remarks" +stated that the entire currency could not be more than L600,000. Browne +was no reliable authority; he is the writer to whom Swift wrote a reply. +See p. 122. [T. S.] + +[39] See "A Short View of the State of Ireland," p. 86. [T. S.] + +[40] Lecky refers to a remarkable letter written by an Irish peer in the +March of 1702, and preserved in the "Southwell Correspondence" in the +British Museum, in which the writer complains that the money of the +country is almost gone, and the poverty of the towns so great that it +was feared the Court mourning for the death of William would be the +final blow. (Lecky, vol. i., p. 181, 1892 ed.). [T. S.] + +[41] Those of Charles II. and James II. in which, for political reasons +on the part of the Crown, Ireland was peculiarly favoured. [S.] + +[42] This was Dr. Nicholas Barbou, the friend of John Asgill and author +of two works on trade and money. After the Great Fire of London he +speculated largely in building, and greatly assisted in making city +improvements. He was the founder of fire insurance in England and was +active in land and bank speculations. He died in 1698, leaving a will +directing that none of his debts should be paid. [T. S.] + +[43] The beggars of Ireland are spoken of by Bishop Berkeley. But Arthur +Dobbs, in the second part of his "Essay on Trade," published in 1731, +gives a descriptive picture of the gangs who travelled over Ireland as +professional paupers. In the 2,295 parishes, there was in each an +average of at least ten beggars carrying on their trade the whole year +round; the total number of these wandering paupers he puts down at over +34,000. Computing 30,000 of them able to work, and assuming that each +beggar could earn _4d._ a day in a working year of 284 days, he +calculates that their idleness is a loss to the nation of L142,000. (Pp. +444-445 of Thom's reprint; Dublin, 1861) [T. S.] + +[44] See Swift's terrible satire on the "Modest Proposal for preventing +Children of Poor People from being a burthen." [T. S.] + +[45] A small country village about seven miles from Kells. [T. S.] + +[46] Esther Johnson. [T. S.] + +[47] Stella's companion and Swift's housekeeper. [T. S.] + +[48] See Swift's "Directions to Servants." [T. S.] + +[49] By Acts 18 Charles II c. 2, and 32 Charles II c. 2, enacted in 1665 +and 1680, the importation into England from Ireland of all cattle, +sheep, swine, beef, pork, bacon, mutton, cheese and butter, was +absolutely prohibited. The land of Ireland being largely pasture land +and England being the chief and nearest market, these laws practically +destroyed the farming industry. The pernicious acts were passed on +complaint from English land proprietors that the competition from Irish +cattle had lowered their rents in England. "In this manner," says Lecky, +"the chief source of Irish prosperity was annihilated at a single blow." +[T. S.] + +[50] The original Navigation Act treated Ireland on an equal footing +with England. The act, however, was succeeded in 1663 by that of 15 +Charles II c. 7, in which it was declared that no European articles, +with few exceptions, could be imported into the colonies unless they had +been loaded in English-built vessels at English ports. Nor could goods +be brought from English colonies except to English ports. By the Acts 22 +and 23 of Charles II. c. 26 the exclusion of Ireland was confirmed, and +the Acts 7 and 8 of Will. III. c. 22, passed in 1696, actually +prohibited any goods whatever from being imported to Ireland direct from +the English colonies. These are the reasons for Swift's remark that +Ireland's ports were of no more use to Ireland's people "than a +beautiful prospect to a man shut up in a dungeon." [T. S.] + +[51] See note on page 137 of vol. vi of this edition. "The Drapier's +Letters." [T. S.] + +[52] Lecky quotes from the MSS. in the British Museum, from a series of +letters written by Bishop Nicholson, on his journey to Derry, to the +Archbishop of Canterbury. The quotation illustrates the truth of Swift's +remark. "Never did I behold," writes Nicholson, "even in Picardy, +Westphalia, or Scotland, such dismal marks of hunger and want as +appeared in the countenances of the poor creatures I met with on the +road." In the "Intelligencer" (No. VI, 1728) Sheridan wrote: "The poor +are sunk to the lowest degrees of misery and poverty--their houses +dunghills, their victuals the blood of their cattle, or the herbs of the +field." Of the condition of the country thirty years later, the most +terrible of pictures is given by Burdy in his "Life of Skelton": "In +1757 a remarkable dearth prevailed in Ireland.... Mr. Skelton went out +into the country to discover the real state of his poor, and travelled +from cottage to cottage, over mountains, rocks, and heath.... In one +cabin he found the people eating boiled prushia [a weed with a yellow +flower that grows in cornfields] by itself for their breakfast, and +tasted this sorry food, which seemed nauseous to him. Next morning he +gave orders to have prushia gathered and boiled for his own breakfast, +that he might live on the same sort of food with the poor. He ate this +for one or two days; but at last his stomach turning against it, he set +off immediately for Ballyshannon to buy oatmeal for them.... One day, +when he was travelling in this manner through the country, he came to a +lonely cottage in the mountains, where he found a poor woman lying in +child-bed with a number of children about her. All she had, in her weak, +helpless condition to keep herself and her children alive, was blood and +sorrel boiled up together. The blood, her husband, who was a herdsman, +took from the cattle of others under his care, for he had none of his +own. This was a usual sort of food in that country in times of scarcity, +for they bled the cows for that purpose, and thus the same cow often +afforded both milk and blood.... They were obliged, when the carriers +were bringing the meal to Pettigo, to guard it with their clubs, as the +people of the adjacent parishes strove to take it by force, in which +they sometimes succeeded, hunger making them desperate." (Burdy's Life +of Skelton. "Works," vol. i, pp. lxxx-lxxxii.) [T. S.] + +[53] See on this subject the agitation against Wood's halfpence in the +volume dealing with "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.] + +[54] Faulkner and Scott print this word "irony," but the original +edition has it as printed in the text. [T. S.] + +[55] The original edition has this as "Island." Scott and the previous +editors print it as in the text. Iceland is, no doubt, referred to. +[T. S.] + +[56] Bishop Nicholson, quoted by Lecky, speaks of the miserable hovels +in which the people lived, and the almost complete absence of clothing. +[T. S.] + +[57] Hely Hutchinson, in his "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" (Dublin, +1779; new edit. 1888) points out that the scheme proposed by the +government, and partly executed, by directing a commission under the +great seal for receiving voluntary subscriptions in order to establish a +bank, was a scheme to circulate paper without money. This and Wood's +halfpence seem to have been the nearest approach made at the time for +supplying what Swift here calls "the running cash of the nation." [T. S.] + +[58] England. + +[59] Scotland and Ireland. + +[60] The Irish Sea. + +[61] The Roman Wall. + +[62] The Scottish Highlanders. [T. S] + +[63] Charles I, who was delivered by the Scotch into the hands of the +Parliamentary party. [T. S] + +[64] See note to "A Short View of the State of Ireland." [T. S.] + +[65] The King of England. [T. S.] + +[66] The Lord-Lieutenant. [T. S.] + +[67] The English Government filled all the important posts in Ireland +with individuals sent over from England. See "Boulter's Letters" on this +subject of the English rule. [T. S.] + +[68] See notes to "A Short View of the State of Ireland," on the +Navigation Acts and the acts against the exportation of cattle. [T. S.] + +[69] The laws against woollen manufacture. [T. S.] + +[70] Absentees and place-holders. [T. S.] + +[71] The spirit of opposition and enmity to England, declared by the +Scottish Act of Security, according to Swift's view of the relations +between the countries, left no alternative but an union or a war. [S.] + +[72] The Act of Union between England and Scotland. [T. S.] + +[73] The reference here is to the linen manufactories of Ireland which +were being encouraged by England. [T. S.] + +[74] Swift here refers to the sentiment, largely predominant in +Scotland, for the return of the Stuarts. [T. S.] + +[75] Alliances with France. [T. S.] + +[76] Alluding to the 33rd Henry VIII, providing that the King and his +successors should be kings imperial of both kingdoms, on which the +enemies of Irish independence founded their arguments against it. [S.] +Scott cannot be correct in this note. The allusion is surely to the +enactments known as Poyning's Law. See vol. vi., p. 77 (note) of this +edition of Swift's works. [T. S.] + +[77] Disturbances excited by the Scottish colonists in Ulster. [S.] + +[78] The subjugation of Scotland by Cromwell. [S.] + +[79] That is to say, to interpret Poyning's law in the spirit in which +it was enacted, and give to Ireland the right to make its own laws. +[T. S.] + +[80] Free trade and the repeal of the Navigation Act. [T. S.] + +[81] Office-holders should not be absentees. [T. S.] + +[82] That the land laws of Ireland shall be free from interference by +England, and the produce of the land free to be exported to any place. +[T. S.] + +[83] The laws prohibiting the importation of live cattle into England, +and the restrictions as to the woollen industry, were the ruin of those +who held land for grazing purposes. [T. S.] + +[84] The Act of 10 and 11 William III., cap. 10, was the final blow to +the woollen industry of Ireland. It was enacted in 1699, and prohibited +the exportation of Irish wool to any other country. In the fifth letter +of Hely Hutchinson's "Commercial Restraints of Ireland" (1779) will be +found a full account of the passing of this Act and its consequences. +[T. S.] + +[85] Edward Waters and John Harding, the printers of Swift's pamphlets. +See volume on "The Drapier's Letters." [T. S.] + +[86] The text here given is that of the original manuscript in the +Forster Collection at South Kensington, collated with that given by +Deane Swift in vol. viii. of the 4to edition of 1765. [T. S.] + +[87] The letter was written in reply to a letter received from Messrs. +Truman and Layfield. [T. S.] + +[88] Dr. William King, Archbishop of Dublin. [T. S.] + +[89] Swift betrays here a lamentable knowledge of the geography of this +part of America. Penn, however, may have known no better. [T. S.] + +[90] William Burnet, at this time the Governor of Massachusetts, was the +son of Swift's old enemy, Bishop Burnet. [T. S.] + +[91] Burnet quarrelled with the Assembly of Massachusetts and New +Hampshire because they would not allow him a fixed salary. The Assembly +attempted to give him instead a fee on ships leaving Boston, but the +English Government refused to allow this. [T. S.] + +[92] The original MS. on which this text is based does not contain the +passage here given in brackets. [T. S.] + +[93] Swift is here supported by Arthur Dobbs, who in his "Essays on +Trade," pt. ii. (1731) gives as one of the conditions prejudicial to +trade, the luxury of living and extravagance in food, dress, furniture, +and equipage by the Irish well-to-do. He describes it "as one of the +principal sources of our national evils." His remedy was a tax on +expensive dress, and rich equipage and furniture. [T. S.] + +[94] The text of this tract is based on that given by Deane Swift in the +eighth volume of his edition of Swift's works published in quarto in +1765. [T. S.] + +[95] This refers to Whitshed. [T. S.] + +[96] The Fourth. See vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[97] Some ten years after Swift wrote the above, the roads of Ireland +were thought to be so good as to attract Whitefield's attention. Lecky +quotes Arthur Young, who found Irish roads superior to those of England. +(Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., p. 330, 1892 ed.) [T. S.] + +[98] Lecky (vol. i., pp. 333-335, 1892 edit.) gives a detailed account +of the destruction of the fine woods in Ireland which occurred during +the forty years that followed the Revolution. The melancholy sight of +the denuded land drew the attention of a Parliamentary Commission +appointed to inquire into the matter. The Act of 10 Will. III. 2, c. 12 +ordered the planting of a certain number of trees in every county, +"but," remarks Lecky, "it was insufficient to counteract the destruction +which was due to the cupidity or the fears of the new proprietors." +[T. S.] + +[99] Swift always distinguished between the Irish "barbarians" and the +Irish who were in reality English settlers in Ireland. Swift, for once, +is in accord with the desires of the English Government, who wished to +eradicate the Irish language. His friend the Archbishop of Dublin and +his own college, that of Trinity, were in favour of keeping the language +alive. (See Lecky's "Ireland," vol. i., pp. 331-332.) [T. S.] + +[100] See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.] + +[101] See Swift's "Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish +Manufactures." [T. S.] + +[102] The text here given is that of Scott read by the "Miscellaneous +Pieces" of 1789. The "Observations" were written, probably, in 1729. +[T. S.] + +[103] Monck Mason has an elaborate note on this subject ("Hist. of St. +Patrick's Cathedral," pp. 320-321, ed. 1819), which is well worth +reprinting here, since it is an excellent statement of facts, and is +fully borne out by Hely Hutchinson's account in his "Commercial +Restraints of Ireland," to which reference has already been made: + +"In the year 1698 a bill was introduced into the English Parliament, +grounded upon complaints, that the woollen manufacture in Ireland +prejudiced the staple trade of England; the matter terminated at last in +an address to the King, wherein the commons 'implored his majesty's +protection and favour on this matter, and that he would make it his +royal care, and enjoin all those whom he employed in Ireland, to use +their utmost diligence, to hinder the exportation of wool from Ireland +(except it be imported into England), and for the discouraging the +woollen manufacture, and increasing the linen manufacture of Ireland.' +Accordingly, on the 16th July, the King wrote a letter of instructions +to the Earl of Galway, in which the following passage appears: 'The +chief thing that must be tried to be prevented, is, that the Irish +parliament takes no notice of what has passed in this here, and that you +make effectual laws for the linen manufacture, and discourage as far as +possible the woollen.'--The Earl of Galway and the other justices +convened the parliament on the 27th of September; in their speech, they +recommended a bill for the encouragement of the manufactures of linen +and hemp, 'which,' say they, 'will be found more advantageous to this +kingdom than the woollen manufacture, which, being the settled trade of +England from whence all foreign markets are supplied, can never be +encouraged here.' The house of commons so far concurred with the lords +justices' sentiments as to say, in their address of thanks, that they +would heartily endeavour to establish the linen manufacture, and to +render the same useful to England, and 'we hope,' they add, 'to find +such a temperament, with respect to the woollen trade here, that the +same may not be injurious to England' ('Cont. Rapin's Hist.,' p. 376). +'And they did,' says Mr. Smith, 'so far come into a temperament in this +case, as, hoping it would be accepted by way of compromise, to lay a +high duty of ... upon all their woollen manufacture exported; under +which, had England acquiesced, I am persuaded it would have been better +for the kingdom in general. But the false notion of a possible monopoly, +made the English deaf to all other terms of accommodation; by which +means they lost the horse rather than quit the stable' ('Memoirs of +Wool,' vol. ii., p. 30). The duties imposed by the Irish parliament, at +this time, upon the export of manufactured wool, was four shillings on +the value of twenty shillings of the old drapery, and two shillings upon +the like value of the new, except friezes. But this concurrence of the +people of Ireland seemed rather to heighten the jealousy between the two +nations, by making the people of England imagine the manufactures of +Ireland were arrived at a dangerous pitch of improvement, since they +could be supposed capable of bearing so extravagant a duty: accordingly, +in the next following year, the English parliament passed an Act (10-11 +William III: cap. 10), that no person should export from Ireland wool or +woollen goods, except to England or Wales, under high penalties, such +goods to be shipped only from certain ports in Ireland, and to certain +ports in England: But this was not the whole grievance; the old duties +upon the import of those commodities, whether raw or manufactured, into +Great Britain, were left in the same state as before, which amounted +nearly to a prohibition; thus did the English, although they had not +themselves any occasion for those commodities, prohibit, nevertheless, +their being sent to any other nation. + +"The discouragement of the woollen manufacture of Ireland, affected +particularly the English settlers there, for the linen was entirely in +the hands of the Scotch, who were established in Ulster, and the Irish +natives had no share in either. It is stated in a pamphlet, entitled, 'A +Discourse concerning Ireland, etc. in answer to the Exon and Barnstaple +petitions,' printed 1697-8, that there were then, in the city and +suburbs of Dublin, 12,000 English families, and throughout the nation, +50,000, who were bred to trades connected with the manufacture of wool, +'who could no more get their bread in the linen manufacture, than a +London taylor by shoe-making.' + +"Mr. Walter Scott says ('Life of Swift,' p. 278) that the Irish woollen +manufacture produced an annual million, but this is not the fact; Mr. +Dobbs in his 'Essay on the Trade of Ireland,' informs us, from the +custom-house books, that in the year 1697 (which immediately preceded +the year in which the address above-mentioned was transmitted to the +king) the total value of Irish woollen exports, of all sorts, was only +_L23,614 9s. 6d._, and in 1687, when they were at the highest, they +did not exceed _L70,521 14s. 0d._ It moreover appears, that the +greater part of these exports were of a sort which did not interfere +with the trade of England, _L56,415 16s. 0d._ was in friezes, and +_L2,520 18s. 0d._ coarse stockings, the rest consisted in serges and +other stuffs of the new drapery, which affected not the trade of England +generally, but only the particular interests of Exeter and its +neighbourhood, and a very few other inconsiderable towns. + +"But, whatever injury was intended, little prejudice was done to +Ireland, except what followed immediately after the passing of this Act. +It appears from Mr. Dobbs's pamphlet, that, a few years after, four +times the quantity of woollen goods were shipped in each year, +clandestinely, than had ever been exported, legally, before: moreover, +the Irish vastly increased their manufactures for home consumption, and +learned to make fine cloth from Spanish wool: it was only to England +itself that any disadvantage redounded; many manufacturers who were +unsettled by this measure, passed over to Germany, Spain, and to Rouen +and other parts of France, 'from these beginnings they have, in many +branches, so much improved the woollen manufactures of France, as to vie +with the English in foreign markets.--Upon the whole, those nations may +be justly said to have deprived Britain of millions since that time, +instead of the thousands Ireland might possibly have made.'--What Mr. +Dobbs has here asserted, relative to the removal of the manufacturers, +has been confirmed by another tract, 'Letter from a Clothier a Member of +Parliament,' printed in 1731, which informs us that, for some years +after, the English seemed to engross all the woollen trade, 'but this +appearance of benefit abated, as the foreign factories, raised on the +ruin of the Irish, acquired strength': he shows too, that the +importation of unmanufactured wool from Ireland to England had been +gradually decreasing since that time, which was probably on account of +the increase of the illicit trade to foreign parts, towards the +encouragement of which the duties, or legal transportation, served to +act as a bounty of 36 per cent. 'So true it is, that England can never +fall into measures for unreasonably cramping the industry of the people +of Ireland, without doing herself the greatest prejudice.'" (Note g, pp. +320-321). [T. S.] + +[104] The causes for absenteeism are thus noted by Lecky ("Hist. of +Ireland," p. 213, vol. i., ed. 1892): "The very large part of the +confiscated land was given to Englishmen who had property and duties in +England, and habitually lived there. Much of it also came into the +market, and as there was very little capital in Ireland, and as +Catholics were forbidden to purchase land, this also passed largely into +the hands of English speculators. Besides, the level of civilization was +much higher in England than in Ireland. The position of a Protestant +landlord, living in the midst of a degraded population, differing from +him in religion and race, had but little attraction, the political +situation of the country closed to an Irish gentleman nearly every +avenue of honourable ambition, and owing to a long series of very +evident causes, the sentiment of public duty was deplorably low. The +economical condition was not checked by any considerable movement in the +opposite direction, for after the suppression of the Irish manufactures +but few Englishmen, except those who obtained Irish offices, came to +Ireland." + +The amount of the rent obtained in Ireland that was spent in England is +estimated elsewhere by Swift to have been at least one-third. In 1729, +Prior assessed the amount at L627,000. In the Supplement to his "List of +Absentees," Prior gives eight further "articles" by which money was +"yearly drawn out of the Kingdom." See the "Supplement," pp. 242-245 in +Thone's "Collection of Tracts," Dublin, 1861. [T. S.] + +[105] John Erskine, Earl of Mar, has elsewhere been characterized by +Swift as "crooked; he seemed to me to be a gentleman of good sense and +good nature." The great rebellion of 1715, for which Mar was +responsible, was stirred up by him in favour of the Pretender, and +succeeded so far as to bring the Chevalier to Scotland. The Duke of +Argyll, however, fought his forces, and though the victory remained +undecided, Mar was compelled to seek safety in France. The rebellion +caused so much disturbance in every part of the British Isles that +Ireland suffered greatly from bad trade. [T. S.] + +[106] Joshua, Lord Allen. See note on p. 175. [T. S.] + +[107] See page 60 of vol. iii. of the present edition. [T. S.] + +[108] Chief Justice Whitshed. [T. S.] + +[109] See page 14. [T. S.] + +[110] Edward Waters. [T. S.] + +[111] See pages 96, 235-6, of vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[112] The person here intimated, Joshua, Lord Allen (whom Swift +elsewhere satirizes under the name of Traulus), was born in 1685. He is +said to have been a weak and dissipated man; and some particulars are +recorded by tradition concerning his marriage with Miss Du Pass (whose +father was clerk of the secretary of state's office in James the +Second's reign, and died in India in 1699), which do very little honour +either to his heart or understanding. + +It is reported, that being trepanned into a marriage with this lady, by +a stratagem of the celebrated Lionel, Duke of Dorset, Lord Allen +refused, for some time, to acknowledge her as his wife. But the lady, +after living some time in close retirement, caused an advertisement to +be inserted in the papers, stating the death of a brother in the East +Indies, by which Miss Margaret Du Pass had succeeded to a large fortune. +Accordingly, she put on mourning, and assumed an equipage conforming to +her supposed change of fortune. Lord Allen's affairs being much +deranged, he became now as anxious to prove the marriage with the +wealthy heiress, as he had formerly been to disown the unportioned +damsel; and succeeded, after such opposition as the lady judged +necessary to give colour to the farce. Before the deceit was discovered, +Lady Allen, by her good sense and talents, had obtained such ascendance +over her husband, that they ever afterwards lived in great harmony. + +Lord Allen was, at the time of giving offence to Swift, a +privy-counsellor; and distinguished himself, according to Lodge, in the +House of Peers, by his excellent speeches for the benefit of his +country. He died at Stillorgan, 1742. [S.] + +Swift did not allow Lord Allen to rest with this "advertisement." In the +poem entitled "Traulus," Allen is gibbetted in some lively rhymes. He +calls him a "motley fruit of mongrel seed," and traces his descent from +the mother's side (she was the sister of the Earl of Kildare) as well as +the father's (who was the son of Sir Joshua Allen, Lord Mayor of Dublin +in 1673): + + "Who could give the looby such airs? + Were they masons, were they butchers? + + * * * * * + + This was dexterous at the trowel, + That was bred to kill a cow well: + Hence the greasy clumsy mien + In his dress and figure seen; + Hence the mean and sordid soul, + Like his body rank and foul; + Hence that wild suspicious peep, + Like a rogue that steals a sheep; + Hence he learnt the butcher's guile, + How to cut your throat and smile; + Like a butcher doomed for life + In his mouth to wear a knife; + Hence he draws his daily food + From his tenants' vital blood." + +[T. S.] + +[113] See note on page 66 of vol. vi. of present edition. The patent to +Lord Dartmouth, granting him the right to coin copper coins, provided +that he should give security to redeem these coins for gold or silver on +demand. John Knox obtained this patent and Colonel Moore acquired it +from Knox after the Revolution. [T. S.] + +[114] Of ten pence in every two shillings. [F.] + +[115] But M'Culla hath still _30l._ per cent. by the scheme, if they be +returned. [F.] + +[116] Faulkner's edition adds here: "For the benefit of defrauding the +crown never occurreth to the public, but is wholly turned to the +advantage of those whom the crown employeth." [T. S.] + +[117] See page 89 of vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[118] 1: Faulkner's edition adds here: "it being a matter wholly out +of my trade." [T. S.] + +[119] See "A Proposal for the Universal Use of Irish Manufactures," p. +19. [T. S.] + +[120] See Swift's letter to Archbishop King on the weavers, p. 137. +[T. S.] + +[121] Edward Waters. [T. S.] + +[122] See note prefixed to pamphlet on p. 15. [T. S.] + +[123] See notes on pp. 6, 7, 8 and 73 of vol. vi. of present edition. +[T. S.] + +[124] See Appendix V. in vol. vi. of present edition. [T. S.] + +[125] See page 81. [T. S.] + +[126] Nathaniel Mist was the publisher of the "Weekly Journal," for +which Defoe wrote many important papers. The greater part of his career +as a printer was spent in trials and imprisonments for the "libels" +which appeared in his journal. This was largely due to the fact that his +weekly newspaper became the recognized organ of Jacobites and +"High-fliers." From 1716 to 1728 he was a pretty busy man with the +government, and finally was compelled to go to France to escape from +prosecution. In France he joined Wharton, but his "Journal" still +continued to be issued until September 21st of the year 1728, which was +the date of the last issue. On the 28th of the same month, however, +appeared its continuation under the title, "Fog's Weekly Journal," and +this was carried on by Mist's friends. Mist died in 1737. [T. S.] + +[127] See notes on pp. 158-159. [T. S.] + +[128] "Observations on the Precedent List: Together with a View of the +Trade of Ireland, and the Great Benefits which accrue to England +thereby; with some hints for the further improvement of the same." +Dublin, second edition, 1729. Reprinted in Thom's "Tracts and Treatises +of Ireland," 1861, vol. ii. [T. S] + +[129] A reference to Alberoni's expedition in aid of the Jacobites made +several years before Swift wrote. [T. S.] + +[130] Sir W. Petty gives the population of Ireland as about one million, +two hundred thousand ("Pol. Arithmetic," 1699). [T. S.] + +[131] This is probably a Swiftian plausibility to give an air of truth +to his remarks. Certain parts of America were at that time reputed to be +inhabited by cannibals. [T. S.] + +[132] This anecdote is taken from the Description of the Island of +Formosa by that very extraordinary impostor George Psalmanazar, who for +some time passed himself for a native of that distant country. He +afterwards published a retractation of his figments, with many +expressions of contrition, but containing certain very natural +indications of dislike to those who had detected him. The passage +referred to in the text is as follows: "We also eat human flesh, which +I am now convinced is a very barbarous custom, though we feed only upon +our open enemies, slain or made captive in the field, or else upon +malefactors legally executed; the flesh of the latter is our greatest +dainty, and is four times dearer than other rare and delicious meat. We +buy it of the executioner, for the bodies of all public capital +offenders are his fees. As soon as the criminal is dead, he cuts the +body in pieces, squeezes out the blood, and makes his house a shambles +for the flesh of men and women, where all people that can afford it come +and buy. I remember, about ten years ago, a tall, well-complexioned, +pretty fat virgin, about nineteen years of age, and tire-woman to the +queen, was found guilty of high treason, for designing to poison the +king; and accordingly she was condemned to suffer the most cruel death +that could be invented, and her sentence was, to be nailed to a cross, +and kept alive as long as possible. The sentence was put in execution; +when she fainted with the cruel torment, the hangman gave her strong +liquors, &c. to revive her; the sixth day she died. Her long sufferings, +youth, and good constitution, made her flesh so tender, delicious, and +valuable, that the executioner sold it for above eight tallies; for +there was such thronging to this inhuman market, that men of great +fashion thought themselves fortunate if they could purchase a pound or +two of it." Lond. 1705, p. 112. [S.] + +[133] The English government had been making concessions to the +Dissenters, and, of course, Swift satirically alludes here to the +arguments used by the government in the steps they had taken. But the +truth of the matter, Swift hints, was, that those who desired to abolish +the test were more anxious for their pockets than their consciences. +[T. S.] + +[134] The inhabitants of a district of Brazil supposed to be savages, +making the name synonymous with savage ignorance. [T. S.] + +[135] + + "Remove me from this land of slaves, + Where all are fools, and all are knaves, + Where every fool and knave is bought, + Yet kindly sells himself for nought." + +(_From Swift's note-book, written while detained at Holyhead in +September, 1727._) [T. S.] + +[136] All these are proposals advocated, of course, by Swift himself, in +previous pamphlets and papers. [T. S.] + +[137] So that there would be no danger of an objection from England that +the English were suffering from Irish competition. [T. S.] + +[138] This was the celebrated periodical founded by Pulteney, after he +had separated himself from Walpole, to which Bolingbroke contributed his +famous letters of an Occasional Writer. The journal carried on a +political war against Walpole's administration, and endeavoured to bring +about the establishment of a new party, to consist of Tories and the +Whigs who could not agree with Walpole's methods. Caleb D'Anvers was a +mere name for a Grub Street hack who was supposed to be the writer. But +Walpole had no difficulty in recognizing the hand of Bolingbroke, and +his reply to the first number of the Occasional Writer made Bolingbroke +wince. [T. S.] + +[139] The "Modest Proposal." See page 207. [T. S.] + +[140] Referring to the silks, laces, and dress of the extravagant women. +See pp. 139, 198, 199. [T. S.] + +[141] The chief source of income in Ireland came from the pasture lands +on which cattle were bred. The cattle were imported to England. The +English landlords, however, taking alarm, discovered to the Crown that +this importation of Irish cattle was lowering English rents. Two Acts +passed in 1665 and 1680 fully met the wishes of the landlords, and +ruined absolutely the Irish cattle trade. Prevented thus from breeding +cattle, the Irish turned to the breeding of sheep, and established, in a +very short time, an excellent trade in wool. How England ruined this +industry also may be seen from note on p. 158. [T. S.] + +[142] Alluding to the facilities afforded for the recruiting of the +French army in Ireland. [T. S.] + +[143] The King of France. [T. S.] + +[144] Buttermilk. The quotation from Virgil aptly applies to the food of +the Irish peasants, who, in the words of Skelton, bled their cattle and +boiled their blood with sorrel to make a food. [T. S.] + +[145] At Christ Church. See note prefixed to this tract. [T. S.] + +[146] Sheridan, in his life of Swift, gives an instance of this which is +quoted by Scott. Carteret had appointed Sheridan one of his domestic +chaplains, and the two would often spend hours together, or, in company +with Swift, exchanging talk and knowledge. When Sheridan had one of the +Greek tragedies performed by the scholars of the school he kept, +Carteret wished to read the play over with him before the performance. +At this reading Sheridan was surprised at the ease with which his patron +could translate the original, and, asking him how he came to know it so +well, Carteret told him "that when he was envoy in Denmark, he had been +for a long time confined to his chamber, partly by illness, and partly +by the severity of the weather; and having but few books with him, he +had read Sophocles over and over so often as to be almost able to repeat +the whole _verbatim_, which impressed it ever after indelibly on his +memory." [T. S.] + +[147] This refers to Richard Tighe, the gentleman who informed on poor +Sheridan for preaching from the text on the anniversary of King George's +accession, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." It was on this +information that Sheridan lost his living. Swift never afterwards missed +an opportunity to ridicule Tighe, and he has lampooned that individual +in several poems. In "The Legion Club" Swift calls him Dick Fitzbaker, +alluding to his descent from one of Cromwell's contractors, who supplied +the army with bread. [T. S.] + +[148] "The worst of times" was the expression used by the Whigs when +they referred to Oxford's administration in the last four years of Queen +Anne's reign. [T. S.] + +[149] A famous rope-dancer of that time. [H.] + +[150] A justice of the peace, who afterwards gave Swift farther +provocation. It was Hutcheson who signed Faulkner's committal to prison +for printing "A New Proposal for the Better Regulation and Improvement +of Quadrille," a pamphlet which Swift did not write, but which had his +favour. A jeering insinuation was made against the famous Sergeant +Bettesworth, whom Swift had already lampooned, and Bettesworth +complained to the House of Commons. Hutcheson aided Bettesworth in this +prosecution, causing Swift to be roused to a strong indignation against +such unconstitutional proceedings. + + "Better we all were in our graves, + Than live in slavery to slaves." + +These are the lines beginning one of his more trenchant lampoons against +the magistrate. [T. S.] + +[151] "The beast who had kicked him" is the expression Swift uses for +Tighe in writing to Sheridan in a letter on September 25th, 1725. In +that letter Swift urges Sheridan to revenge, and promises him his help. +[T. S.] + +[152] The word is spelt "Galloway" in the original edition. The earldom +of Galway became extinct in 1720. For an account of the earl, see note +on p. 20 of volume v. of this edition. [T. S.] + +[153] Joshua, Lord Allen. See p. 175 [T. S.] + +[154] Swift's poem entitled "Traulus" was published at this price, and +gives in rhyme much the same matter as is here given in prose. See p. +176. [T. S.] + +[155] Lord Allen was reputed to be wrong in his head. When Swift was +once asked to excuse him for his conduct on the plea that he was mad, +Swift replied: "I know that he is a madman; and, if that were all, no +man living could commiserate his condition more than myself; but, sir, +he is a madman possessed by the devil. I renounce him." (See Scott's +"Life of Swift," p. 365.) [T. S.] + +[156] The reader may compare what is stated in these two paragraphs with +the same opinion expressed by the author in "The Public Spirit of the +Whigs." [S.] + +[157] See notes on pp. 74, 232. [T. S.] + +[158] See note on p. 232. [T. S.] + +[159] Mr. Tickell and Mr. Ballaquer. Tickell was Addison's biographer, +and a friend and correspondent of Swift. He was no mean poet, and though +Pope did not care for him Swift did. Tickell was Secretary to the Lords +Justices of Ireland, and Ballaquer Secretary to Carteret. [T. S.] + +[160] The day of the anniversary of the accession of George I. In his +"History of Solomon the Second" Swift censures his friend strongly for +his indiscretion. [T. S.] + +[161] The Richard Tighe afore-mentioned. [T. S.] + +[162] Sheridan wrote a poem displeasing to Swift, which Swift thus +animadverts on in the "History of the Second Solomon": "Having lain many +years under the obloquy of a high Tory and a Jacobite, upon the present +Queen's birthday, he [Dr. Sheridan] writ a song to be performed before +the government and those who attended them, in praise of the Queen and +King, on the common topics of her beauty, wit, family, love of England, +and all other virtues, wherein the King and the royal children were +sharers. It was very hard to avoid the common topics. A young collegian +who had done the same job the year before, got some reputation on +account of his wit. Solomon would needs vie with him, by which he lost +the esteem of his old friends the Tories, and got not the least interest +with the Whigs, for they are now too strong to want advocates of that +kind; and, therefore, one of the lords-justices reading the verses in +some company, said, 'Ah, doctor, this shall not do.' His name was at +length in the title-page; and he did this without the knowledge or +advice of one living soul, as he himself confesseth." [T. S.] + +[163] Dr. Stopford, Bishop of Cloyne, one of Swift's intimate friends. +Stopford always acknowledged that he owed his advancement entirely to +Swift's kindness. He wrote an elegant Latin tribute to Swift, given by +Scott in an appendix to the "Life." With Delany and others he was one of +Swift's executors. + +[164] Delany was a ripe scholar and much esteemed by Swift, though the +latter had occasion to rebuke him for attempting to court favour with +the Castle people, and for an attack on the "Intelligencer," a journal +which Swift and Sheridan had started. Delany, however, was a little +jealous of Sheridan's favour with the Dean. He was afterwards Chancellor +of St Patrick's, and wrote a life of Swift. [T. S.] + +[165] Sir Constantine Phipps, Lord Chancellor of Ireland when Queen Anne +died. [_Orig. Note._] + +[166] Swift himself. [T. S.] + +[167] Dr. William King, who died a year or so before Swift wrote. [T. S.] + +[168] In 1724, two under-graduates were expelled from Trinity College +for alleged insolence to the provost. Dr. Delany espoused their cause +with such warmth that it drew upon him very inconvenient consequences, +and he was at length obliged to give satisfaction to the college by a +formal acknowledgment of his offence. [S.] + +[169] A very good friend of Swift, at whose place at Gosford, in the +county of Antrim, Swift would often stay for months together. The +reference here is to the project for converting a large house, called +Hamilton's Bawn, situated about two miles from Sir Arthur Acheson's +seat, into a barrack. The project gave rise to Swift's poem, entitled, +"The Grand Question Debated," given by Scott in vol. xv., p. 171. [T. S.] + +[170] Most of these expressions explain themselves. "Termagants" was +applied to resisters, as used in the old morality plays. "Iconoclasts," +the name given to those who defaced King William's statue. +"White-rosalists," given to those who wore the Stuart badge on the 10th +of June, the day of the Pretender's birthday. [T. S.] + +[171] By fines is meant the increase made in rents on the occasion of +renewals of leases. [T. S.] + +[172] This document was copied by Sir Walter Scott from Dr. Lyon's +papers. It is indorsed, "Queries for Mr. Lindsay," and "21st Nov., 1730, +Mr. Lindsay's opinion concerning Mr. Gorman, in answer to my queries." +Mr. Lindsay's answer was: + +"I have carefully perused and considered this case, and am clearly of +opinion, that the agent has not made any one answer like a man of +business, but has answered very much like a true agent. + +"Nov. 21, 1730. Robert Lindsay." + +[173] Swift was born at No. 7, Hoey's Court, near the Castle grounds. +[T. S.] + +[174] A sort of sugar-cakes in the shape of hearts. [F.] + +[175] A new name for a modern periwig with a long black tail, and for +its owner; now in fashion, Dec. 1, 1733. [F.] + +[176] Referring to the last four years of Anne's reign, when Harley was +minister. The expression was a Whig one. [T. S.] + +[177] "The squeezing of the orange" was literally a toast among the +disaffected in the reign of William III. [S.] + +[178] The author's meaning is just contrary to the literal sense in the +character of Lord Oxford; while he is in truth sneering at the splendour +of Houghton, and the supposed wealth of Sir Robert Walpole. [S.] + +[179] The paragraph here printed in square brackets did not appear in +the original Dublin edition of 1732. [T. S.] + +[180] Was a gentleman of a very large estate, and left it to the poor +people of England, to be distributed amongst them annually, as the +Parliament of Great Britain, his executors, should think proper. [F.] + +[181] 4,060,000 in 1734 and 4,600,000 in edition of 1733. To make the +total agree with the division below it, the item against Richard Norton +has been altered from 60,000 to 6,000. [T. S.] + +[182] See note on page 269. [T. S.] + +[183] See note on page 271. [T. S.] + +[184] Humphry French, Lord Mayor of Dublin for the year 1732-3, was +elected to succeed Alderman Samuel Burton. [F.] + +[185] John Macarrell, Register of the Barracks, shortly after this date +elected to the representation of Carlingford. [F.] + +[186] Edward Thompson, member of parliament for York, and a Commissioner +of the Revenue in Ireland. [F.] + +[187] Mr. Thompson was presented with the freedom of several +corporations in Ireland. [F.] + +[188] Upon the death of Mr. Stoyte, Recorder of the City of Dublin, in +the year 1733, several gentlemen declared themselves candidates to +succeed him; upon which the Dean wrote the above paper, and Eaton +Stannard, Esq. (a gentleman of great worth and honour, and very knowing +in his profession) was elected [F.] + +[189] Dr. William King. [T. S.] + +[190] The following, from Deane Swift's edition, given by Sir Walter +Scott in his edition of Swift's works, refers to this "very plain +proposal." It is evidently written by Swift, and is dated, as from the +Deanery House, September 26th, 1726, almost eleven years before the +above tract was issued: + +"DEANERY-HOUSE, _Sept. 26, 1726._ + +"The continued concourse of beggars from all parts of the kingdom to +this city, having made it impossible for the several parishes to +maintain their own poor, according to the ancient laws of the land, +several lord mayors did apply themselves to the lord Archbishop of +Dublin, that his grace would direct his clergy, and his churchwardens of +the said city, to appoint badges of brass, copper, or pewter, to be worn +by the poor of the several parishes. The badges to be marked with the +initial letters of the name of each church, and numbered 1, 2, 3, etc., +and to be well sewed and fastened on the right and left shoulder of the +outward garment of each of the said poor, by which they might be +distinguished. And that none of the said poor should go out of their own +parish to beg alms; whereof the beadles were to take care. + +"His grace the lord Archbishop, did accordingly give his directions to +the clergy; which, however, have proved wholly ineffectual, by the +fraud, perverseness, or pride of the said poor, several of them openly +protesting 'they will never submit to wear the said badges.' And of +those who received them, almost every one keep them in their pockets, or +hang them in a string about their necks, or fasten them under their +coats, not to be seen, by which means the whole design is eluded; so +that a man may walk from one end of the town to another, without seeing +one beggar regularly badged, and in such great numbers, that they are a +mighty nuisance to the public, most of them being foreigners. + +"It is therefore proposed, that his grace the lord Archbishop would +please to call the clergy of the city together, and renew his directions +and exhortations to them, to put the affair of badges effectually in +practice, by such methods as his grace and they shall agree upon. And I +think it would be highly necessary that some paper should be pasted up +in several proper parts of the city, signifying this order, and +exhorting all people to give no alms except to those poor who are +regularly badged, and only while they are in the precincts of their own +parishes. And if something like this were delivered by the ministers in +the reading-desk two or three Lord's-days successively, it would still +be of further use to put this matter upon a right foot. And that all who +offend against this regulation shall be treated as vagabonds and sturdy +beggars." [T. S.] + +[191] Spelt now St. Warburgh's. [T. S.] + +[192] About the beginning of the eighteenth century, Dr. Gwythers, a +physician, and fellow of the University of Dublin, brought over with him +a parcel of frogs from England to Ireland, in order to propagate their +species in that kingdom, and threw them into the ditches of the +University Park; but they all perished. Whereupon he sent to England for +some bottles of the frog-spawn, which he threw into those ditches, by +which means the species of frogs was propagated in that kingdom. +However, their number was so small in the year 1720, that a frog was +nowhere to be seen in Ireland, except in the neighbourhood of the +University Park: but within six or seven years after, they spread +thirty, forty, or fifty miles over the country; and so at last, by +degrees, over the whole country. [D. S.] + +[193] Swift's uncle, Godwin Swift, for whose memory he had no special +regard, seems to have been concerned in this ingenious anagram and +unfortunate project. [S.] + +[194] This reproach has been certainly removed since the Dean +flourished; for the titles of the Irish peerages of late creation have +rather been in the opposite extreme, and resemble, in some instances, +the appellatives in romances and novels. + +Thomas O'Brien MacMahon, an Irish author, quoted by Mr. Southey in his +Omniana, in a most angry pamphlet on "The Candour and Good-nature of +Englishmen," has the following diverting passage, which may serve as a +corollary to Swift's Tract:--"You sent out the children of your +princes," says he, addressing the Irish, "and sometimes your princes in +person, to enlighten this kingdom, then sitting in utter darkness, +(meaning England) and how have they recompensed you? Why, after +lawlessly distributing your estates, possessed for thirteen centuries or +more, by your illustrious families, whose antiquity and nobility, if +equalled by any nation in the world, none but the immutable God of +Abraham's chosen, though, at present, wandering and afflicted people, +surpasses: After, I say, seizing on your inheritances, and flinging them +among their Cocks, Hens, Crows, Rooks, Daws, Wolves, Lions, Foxes, Rams, +Bulls, Hoggs, and other beasts and birds of prey, or vesting them in the +sweepings of their jails, their Small-woods, Do-littles, Barebones, +Strangeways, Smarts, Sharps, Tarts, Sterns, Churls, and Savages; their +Greens, Blacks, Browns, Greys and Whites; their Smiths, Carpenters, +Brewers, Bakers, and Taylors; their Sutlers, Cutlers, Butlers, Trustlers +and Jugglers; their Norths, Souths, and Wests; their Fields, Rows, +Streets, and Lanes; their Toms-sons, Dicks-sons, Johns-sons, James-sons, +Wills-sons, and Waters-sons; their Shorts, Longs, Lows, and Squabs; +their Parks, Sacks, Tacks, and Jacks; and, to complete their ingratitude +and injustice, they have transported a cargo of notorious traitors to +the Divine Majesty among you, impiously calling them the Ministers of +God's Word." [S.] + +[195] The Tholsel, where criminals for the city were tried, and where +proclamations, etc., were posted. It was invariably called the Touls'el +by the lower class. [S.] + +[196] This and the following piece were, according to Sir Walter Scott, +found among the collection of Mr. Smith. The examples of English +blunders which Scott also reprints were given by Sheridan by way of +retaliation to these specimens of Irish blunders noted by Swift. [T. S.] + +[197] This specimen of Irish-English, or what Swift condemned as such, +is taken from an unfinished copy in the Dean's handwriting, found among +Mr. Lyons's papers. [S.] + +[198] See note on p. 368. [T. S.] + +[199] Dunkin was one of Swift's favourites, to judge by the efforts +Swift made on his behalf. Writing to Alderman Barber (17th January, +1737-38), Swift speaks of him as "a gentleman of much wit and the best +English as well as Latin poet in this kingdom." Several of Dunkin's +poems were printed in Scott's edition of Swift's works, but his +collected works were issued in 1774. Dunkin was educated at Trinity +College, Dublin. [T. S.] + +[200] The "Occasional Writer's" Letters are printed in Lord +Bolingbroke's Works. [N.] + +[201] Sir Robert Walpole was by no means negligent of his literary +assistants. But, unfortunately, like an unskilful general, he confided +more in the number than the spirit or discipline of his forces. Arnall, +Concanen, and Henley, were wretched auxiliaries; yet they could not +complain of indifferent pay, since Arnall used to brag, that, in the +course of four years, he had received from the treasury, for his +political writings, the sum of _L10,997 6s. 8d._ [S.] + +[202] The authority for considering this "Account" to be the work of +Swift is Mr. Deane Swift, the editor of the edition of 1765 of Swift's +works. It is included in the eighth volume of the quarto edition issued +that year. Burke also seems to have had no doubt at all about the +authorship. Referring to the Dean's disposition to defend Queen Anne and +to ridicule her successor, he says, "it is probable that the pieces in +which he does it ('Account of the Court of Japan,' and 'Directions for +making a Birth-day Song') were the occasion of most of the other +posthumous articles having been so long withheld from the publick." +Undoubtedly, there is much in this piece that savours of Swift's method +of dealing with such a subject; but that could easily be imitated by a +clever reader of "Gulliver." The style, however, in which it is written +is not distinctly Swift's. + +At the time this tract was written (1728) the Tory party was anxiously +hoping that the accession of George II. would see the downfall of +Walpole. But the party was doomed to a bitter disappointment. Walpole +not only maintained but added to the power he enjoyed under George I. By +what means this was accomplished the writer of this piece attempts to +hint. Sir Walter Scott thinks the piece was probably left imperfect, +"when the crisis to which the Tories so anxiously looked forward +terminated so undesirably, in the confirmation of Walpole's power." +[T. S.] + +[203] King George. [S.] + +[204] Queen Anne. [S.] + +[205] Whigs and Tories. Anagrams of Huigse and Toryes. [T. S.] + +[206] Hanover. Anagrams for Deuts = Deutsch = German. [T. S.] + +[207] Bremen and Lubeck. [S.] + +[208] The quadruple alliance, usually accounted the most impolitic step +in the reign of George I., had its rise in his anxiety for his +continental dominions. [S.] + +[209] Through all the reign of George I., the Whigs were in triumphant +possession of the government. [S.] + +[210] Sir Robert Walpole [S.] + +[211] When secretary at war, Walpole received L500 from the contractors +for forage; and although he alleged that it was a sum due to a third +party in the contract, and only remitted through his hands, he was voted +guilty of corruption, expelled the House, and sent to the Tower, by the +Tory Parliament. [S.] + +[212] King George II. [S.] + +[213] Sir Spencer Compton, Speaker of the House of Commons. [S.] + +[214] Sir Thomas Hanmer. [S.] + +[215] About a million sterling. [D. S.] + +[216] This piece is included here on the authority of Mr. Deane Swift, +and was accepted by Sir Walter Scott on the same authority. The writing +is excellent and bears every mark of Swift's hand. In the note to the +"Letter to the Writer of the Occasional Paper" was included the heads of +a paper which Swift suggested, found by Sir H. Craik. The present +"Answer" may serve as further evidence of Sir H. Craik's suggestion that +Swift may have assisted Pulteney and Bolingbroke on more than one +occasion. + +The present text is that of the 1768 quarto edition. [T. S.] + +[217] "Gasping," 1768; "grasping," Nichols, 1801. [T. S.] + +[218] + + "For neither man nor angel can discern + Hypocrisy--the only evil that walks + Invisible, except to God alone, + By His permissive will, through heaven and earth, + And oft, though Wisdom wake, Suspicion sleeps + At Wisdom's gate, and to Simplicity + Resigns her charge, while Goodness thinks no ill + Where no ill seems."-- + + _Paradise Lost_, Book III., 682-689. [T. S.] + + + +CHISWICK PRESS: CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO. + +TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, LONDON. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Prose Works of Jonathan Swift, +D.D., Vol. VII, by Jonathan Swift + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN *** + +***** This file should be named 18250.txt or 18250.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/2/5/18250/ + +Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/Million Book Project) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** + diff --git a/18250.zip b/18250.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..83e86cc --- /dev/null +++ b/18250.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0074220 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #18250 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/18250) |
