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diff --git a/18110-8.txt b/18110-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..23de525 --- /dev/null +++ b/18110-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4045 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Bridal March; One Day, by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Bridal March; One Day + +Author: Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson + +Translator: Edmund Gosse + +Release Date: April 3, 2006 [EBook #18110] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BRIDAL MARCH; ONE DAY *** + + + + +Produced by Clare Boothby, Charlene Taylor and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +[Transcriber's note: Front matter listing the novels of BJÖRNSTJERNE +BJÖRNSON moved to end of book] + + + + THE BRIDAL MARCH + + & + + ONE DAY + + BY + + BJÖRNSTJERNE BJÖRNSON + + (_Translated from the Norwegian_) + + + +LONDON +WILLIAM HEINEMANN +1896 + + + + +_BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE_ + + +[The Bridal March _(Brude-Slaatten) was written in +Christiania in 1872. It was originally published in the second volume +of the first popular edition of Björnson's collected tales, issued in +Copenhagen in that year. In November 1873, a small edition was +published in separate form, and this was followed by an illustrated +issue, of which a second edition appeared in 1877._ The Bridal March +_was originally composed as the text to four designs by the Norwegian +painter, Tidemand. It was dedicated to Hans Christian Andersen._ + +One Day _(En Dag) was originally issued in the Norwegian +Magazine "Nyt Tidsscrift," late in 1893; and was republished in a +volume of short stories during the following year._ + + _E. G._] + + + + + + +THE BRIDAL MARCH + + +There lived last century, in one of the high-lying inland valleys of +Norway, a fiddler, who has become in some degree a legendary +personage. Of the tunes and marches ascribed to him, some are said to +have been inspired by the Trolls, one he heard from the devil himself, +another he made to save his life, &c., &c. But the most famous of all +is a Bridal March; and _its_ story does not end with the story of his +life. + +Fiddler Ole Haugen was a poor cottar high among the mountains. He had +a daughter, Aslaug, who had inherited his cleverness. Though she could +not play his fiddle, there was music in everything she did--in her +talk, her singing, her walk, her dancing. + +At the great farm of Tingvold, down in the valley, a young man had +come home from his travels. He was the third son of the rich peasant +owner, but his two elder brothers had been drowned in a flood, so the +farm was to come to him. He met Aslaug at a wedding and fell in love +with her. In those days it was an unheard-of thing that a well-to-do +peasant of old family should court a girl of Aslaug's class. But this +young fellow had been long away, and he let his parents know that he +had made enough out in the world to live upon, and that if he could +not have what he wanted at home, he would let the farm go. It was +prophesied that this indifference to the claims of family and property +would bring its own punishment. Some said that Ole Haugen had brought +it about, by means only darkly hinted at. + +So much is certain, that while the conflict between the young man and +his parents was going on, Haugen was in the best of spirits. When the +battle was over, he said that he had already made them a Bridal March, +one that would never go out of the family of Tingvold--but woe to the +girl, he added, whom it did not play to church as happy a bride as the +cottar's daughter, Aslaug Haugen! And here again people talked of the +influence of some mysterious evil power. + +So runs the story. It is a fact that to this day the people of that +mountain district have a peculiar gift of music and song, which then +must have been greater still. Such a thing is not kept up without some +one caring for and adding to the original treasure, and Ole Haugen was +the man who did it in his time. + +Tradition goes on to tell that just as Ole Haugen's Bridal March was +the merriest ever heard, so the bridal pair that it played to church, +that were met by it again as they came from the altar, and that drove +home with its strain in their ears, were the happiest couple that had +ever been seen. And though the race of Tingvold had always been a +handsome race, and after this were handsomer than ever, it is +maintained that none, before or after, could equal this particular +couple. + +With Ole Haugen legend ends, and now history begins. Ole's bridal +march kept its place in the house of Tingvold. It was sung, and +hummed, and whistled, and fiddled, in the house and in the stable, in +the field and on the mountain-side. The only child born of the +marriage, little Astrid, was rocked and sung to sleep with it by +mother, by father, and by servants, and it was one of the first things +she herself learned. There was music in the race, and this bright +little one had her full share of it, and soon could hum her parent's +triumphal march, the talisman of her family, in quite a masterly way. + +It was hardly to be wondered at that when she grew up, she too wished +to choose her lover. Many came to woo, but at the age of twenty-three +the rich and gifted girl was still single. The reason came out at +last. In the house lived a quick-witted youth, whom Aslaug had taken +in out of pity. He went by the name of the tramp or gipsy, though he +was neither. But Aslaug was ready enough to call him so when she +heard that Astrid and he were betrothed. They had pledged faith to +each other in all secrecy out on the hill pastures, and had sung the +bridal march together, she on the height, he answering from below. + +The lad was sent away at once. No one could now show more pride of +race than Aslaug, the poor cottar's daughter. Astrid's father called +to mind what was prophesied when he broke the tradition of his family. +Had it now come to a husband being taken in from the wayside? Where +would it end? And the neighbours said much the same. + +"The tramp," Knut by name, soon became well known to every one, as he +took to dealing in cattle on his own account. He was the first in that +part of the country to do it to any extent, and his enterprise had +begun to benefit the whole district, raising prices, and bringing in +capital. But he was apt to bring drinking bouts, and often fighting, +in his train; and this was all that people talked of as yet; they had +not begun to understand his capabilities as a business man. + +Astrid was determined, and she was twenty-three, and her parents came +to see that either the farm must go out of the family or Knut must +come into it; through their own marriage they had lost the moral +authority that might have stood them in good stead now. So Astrid had +her way. One fine day the handsome, merry Knut drove with her to +church. The strains of the family bridal march, her grandfather's +masterpiece, were wafted back over the great procession, and the two +seemed to be sitting humming it quietly, and very happy they looked. +And every one wondered how the parents looked so happy too, for they +had opposed the marriage long and obstinately. + +After the wedding Knut took over the farm, and the old people retired +on their allowance. It was such a liberal one that people could not +understand how Knut and Astrid were able to afford it; for though the +farm was the largest in the district, it was not well-cultivated. But +this was not all. Three times the number of workpeople were taken on, +and everything was started in a new way, with an outlay unheard of in +these parts. Certain ruin was foretold. But "the tramp"--for his +nickname had stuck to him--was as merry as ever, and seemed to have +infected Astrid with his humour. The quiet, gentle girl became the +lively, buxom wife. Her parents were satisfied. At last people began +to understand that Knut had brought to Tingvold what no one had had +there before, working capital! And along with it he had brought the +experience gained in trading, and a gift of handling commodities and +money, and of keeping servants willing and happy. + +In twelve years one would hardly have known Tingvold again. House and +outbuildings were different; there were three times as many +workpeople, they were three times as well off, and Knut himself, in +his broadcloth coat, sat in the evenings and smoked his meerschaum +pipe and drank his glass of toddy with the Captain and the Pastor and +the Bailiff. To Astrid he was the cleverest and best man in the world, +and she was fond of telling how in his young days he had fought and +drunk just to get himself talked about, and to frighten her; "for he +was so cunning!" + +She followed him in everything except in leaving off peasant dress and +customs; to these she always kept. Knut did not interfere with other +people's ways, so this caused no trouble between them. He lived with +his "set," and his wife saw to their entertainment, which was, +however, modest enough, for he was too prudent a man to make +unnecessary show or outlay of any kind. Some said that he gained more +by the card-playing, and by the popularity this mode of life won for +him, than all he laid out upon it, but this was probably pure +malevolence. + +They had several children, but the only one whose history concerns us +is the eldest son, Endrid, who was to inherit the farm and carry on +the honour of the house. He had all the good looks of his race, but +not much in the way of brains, as is often the case with children of +specially active-minded parents. His father soon observed this, and +tried to make up for it by giving him a very good education. A tutor +was brought into the house for the children, and when Endrid grew up +he was sent to one of the agricultural training schools that were now +beginning to flourish in Norway, and after that to finish off in town. +He came home again a quiet young fellow, with a rather over-burdened +brain and fewer town ways than his father had hoped for. But Endrid +was a slow-witted youth. + +The Pastor and the Captain, both with large families of daughters, had +their eye on him. But if this was the reason of the increased +attention they paid to Knut, they made a great mistake; the idea of a +marriage between his son and a poor pastor's or captain's daughter, +with no training to fit her for a rich farmer's wife, was so +ridiculous to him that he did not even think it necessary to warn +Endrid. And indeed no warning was needed, for the lad saw as well as +his father that, though there was no need for his bringing more wealth +into the family through his marriage, it would be of advantage if he +could again connect it with one of equal birth and position. But, as +ill-luck would have it, he was but an awkward wooer. The worst of it +was that he began to get the name of being a fortune-hunter; and when +once a young man gets this reputation, the peasants fight shy of him. +Endrid soon noticed this himself; for though he was not particularly +quick, to make up for it he was very sensitive. He saw that it did not +improve his position that he was dressed like a townsman, and "had +learning," as the country people said. The boy was sound at heart, and +the result of the slights he met with was that by degrees he left off +his town dress and town speech, and began to work on his father's +great farm as a simple labourer. His father understood--he had begun +to understand before the lad did--and he told his wife to take no +notice. So they said nothing about marriage, nor about the change in +Endrid's ways; only his father was more and more friendly to him, and +consulted him in everything connected with the farm and with his +other trade, and at last gave the management of the farm altogether +into his hands. And of this they never needed to repent. + +So the time passed till Endrid was thirty-one. He had been steadily +adding to his father's wealth and to his own experience and +independence; but had never made the smallest attempt at courtship; +had not looked at a girl, either in their own district or elsewhere. +And now his parents were beginning to fear that he had given up +thoughts of it altogether. But this was not the case. + +On a neighbouring farm lived in good circumstances another +well-descended peasant family, that had at different times +intermarried with the race of Tingvold. A girl was growing up there +whom Endrid had been fond of since she was a little child; no doubt he +had quietly set his heart on her, for only six months after her +confirmation he spoke. She was seventeen then and he thirty-one. +Randi, that was the girl's name, did not know at first what to answer; +she consulted her parents, but they said she must decide for herself. +He was a good man, and from a worldly point of view she could not make +a better match, but the difference in their ages was great, and she +must know herself if she had the courage to undertake the new duties +and cares that would come upon her as mistress of the large farm. The +girl felt that her parents would rather have her say Yes than No, but +she was really afraid. She went to his mother, whom she had always +liked, and found to her surprise that she knew nothing. But the mother +was so delighted with the idea that with all her might she urged Randi +to accept him. "I'll help you," she said. "Father will want no +allowance from the farm. He has all he needs, and he doesn't wish his +children to be longing for his death. Things will be divided at once, +and the little that we keep to live on will be divided too when we are +gone. So you see there will be no trouble with us." Yes, Randi knew +all along that Knut and Astrid were kind and nice. "And the boy," said +Astrid, "is good and thoughtful about everything." Yes, Randi had +felt that too; she was not afraid but that she would get on with +him--if she were only capable enough herself! + +A few days later everything was settled. Endrid was happy, and so were +his parents; for this was a much respected family that he was marrying +into, and the girl was both nice-looking and clever; there was not a +better match for him in the district. The parents on both sides +consulted together, and settled that the wedding should be just before +harvest, as there was nothing to wait for. + +The neighbourhood generally did not look on the engagement in the same +light as the parties concerned. It was said that the pretty young girl +had "sold herself." She was so young that she hardly knew what +marriage was, and the sly Knut had pushed forward his son before any +other lovers had the chance. Something of this came to Randi's ears, +but Endrid was so loving to her, and in such a quiet, almost humble +way, that she would not break off with him; only it made her a little +cool. Both his and her parents heard what was said, but took no +notice. + +Perhaps just because of this talk they determined to hold the wedding +in great style, and this, for the same reason, was not unacceptable to +Randi. Knut's friends, the Pastor, the Captain, and the Bailiff, with +their large families, were to be among the guests, and some of them +were to accompany the pair to church. On their account Knut wanted to +dispense with the fiddlers--it was too old-fashioned and peasant-like. +But Astrid insisted that they must be played to church and home again +with the Bridal March of her race. It had made her and her husband so +happy; they could not but wish to hear it again on their dear +children's great festival day. There was not much sentiment about +Knut; but he let his wife have her way. The bride's parents got a hint +that they might engage the fiddlers, who were asked to play the old +March, the family Bridal March, that had lain quiet now for a time, +because this generation had worked without song. + +But alas! on the wedding day the rain poured hard. The players had to +wrap up their fiddles as soon as they had played the bridal party away +from the farm, and they did not take them out again till they came +within sound of the church-bells. Then a boy had to stand up at the +back of the cart and hold an umbrella over them, and below it they sat +huddled together and sawed away. The March did not sound like itself +in such weather, naturally enough, nor was it a very merry-looking +bridal procession that followed. The bridegroom sat with the high +bridegroom's hat between his legs and a sou'-wester on his head; he +had on a great fur coat, and he held an umbrella over the bride, who, +with one shawl on the top of another, to protect the bridal crown and +the rest of her finery, looked more like a wet hayrick than a human +being. On they came, carriage after carriage, the men dripping, the +women hidden away under their wrappings. It looked like a sort of +bewitched procession, in which one could not recognise a single face; +for there was not a face to be seen, nothing but huddled-up heaps of +wool or fur. A laugh broke out among the specially large crowd +gathered at the church on account of the great wedding. At first it +was stifled, but it grew louder with each carriage that drove up. At +the large house where the procession was to alight and the dresses +were to be arranged a little for going into church, a hay-cart had +been drawn out of the way, into the corner formed by the porch. +Mounted on it stood a pedlar, a joking fellow, Aslak by name. Just as +the bride was lifted down he called: "Devil take me if Ole Haugen's +Bridal March is any good to-day!" + +He said no more, but that was plenty. The crowd laughed, and though +many of them tried not to let it be seen that they were laughing, it +was clearly felt what all were thinking and trying to hide. + +When they took off the bride's shawls they saw that she was as white +as a sheet. She began to cry, tried to laugh, cried again--and then +all at once the feeling came over her that she could not go into the +church. Amidst great excitement she was laid on a bed in a quiet room, +for such a violent fit of crying had seized her that they were much +alarmed. Her good parents stood beside the bed, and when she begged +them to let her go back, they said that she might do just as she +liked. Then her eyes fell on Endrid. Any one so utterly miserable and +helpless she had never seen before; and beside him stood his mother, +silent and motionless, with the tears running down her face and her +eyes fixed on Randi's. Then Randi raised herself on her elbow and +looked straight in front of her for a little, still sobbing after the +fit of crying. "No, no,!" she said, "I'm going to church." Once more +she lay back and cried for a little, and then she got up. She said +that she would have no more music, so the fiddlers were dismissed--and +the story did not lose in their telling when they got among the crowd. + +It was a mournful bridal procession that now moved on towards the +church. The rain allowed of the bride and bridegroom hiding their +faces from the curiosity of the onlookers till they got inside; but +they felt that they were running the gauntlet, and they felt too that +their own friends were annoyed at being laughed at as part of such a +foolish procession. + +The grave of the famous fiddler, Ole Haugen, lay close by the +church-door. Without saying much about it, the family had always +tended it, and a new head-board had been put up when the old one had +rotted away below. The upper part of it was in the shape of a wheel, +as Ole himself had desired. The grave was in a sunny spot, and was +thickly overgrown with wild flowers. Every churchgoer that had ever +stood by it had heard from some one or other how a botanist in +government pay, making a collection of the plants and flowers of the +valley and the mountains round about, had found flowers on that grave +that did not grow anywhere else in the neighbourhood. And the +peasants, who as a rule cared little about what they called "weeds," +took pride in these particular ones--a pride mixed with curiosity and +even awe. Some of the flowers were remarkably beautiful. But as the +bridal pair passed the grave, Endrid, who was holding Randi's hand, +felt that she shivered; immediately she began to cry again, walked +crying into the church, and was led crying to her place. No bride +within the memory of man had made such an entrance into that church. + +She felt as she sat there that all this was helping to confirm the +report that she had been sold. The thought of the shame she was +bringing on her parents made her turn cold, and for a little she was +able to stop crying. But at the altar she was moved again by some word +of the priest's, and immediately the thought of all she had gone +through that day came over her; and for the moment she had the feeling +that never, no, never again, could she look people in the face, and +least of all her own father and mother. + +Things got no better as the day went on. She was not able to sit with +the guests at the dinner-table; in the evening she was half coaxed, +half forced to appear at supper, but she spoiled every one's pleasure, +and had to be taken away to bed. The wedding festivities, that were to +have gone on for several days, ended that evening. It was given out +that the bride was ill. + +Though neither those who said this nor those who heard it believed it, +it was only too true. She was really ill, and she did not soon +recover. One consequence of this was that their first child was +sickly. The parents were not the less devoted to it from understanding +that they themselves were to a certain extent the cause of its +suffering. They never left that child. They never went to church, for +they had got shy of people. For two years God gave them the joy of the +child, and then He took it from them. + +The first thought that struck them after this blow was that they had +been too fond of their child. That was why they had lost it. So, when +another came, it seemed as if neither of them dared to show their love +for it. But this little one, though it too was sickly at first, grew +stronger, and was so sweet and bright that they could not restrain +their feelings. A new, pure happiness had come to them; they could +almost forget all that had happened. When this child was two years +old, God took it too. + +Some people seem to be chosen out by sorrow. They are the very people +that seem to us to need it least, but at the same time they are those +that are best fitted to bear trials and yet to keep their faith. These +two had early sought God together; after this they lived as it were in +His presence. The life at Tingvold had long been a quiet one; now the +house was like a church before the priest comes in. The work went on +perfectly steadily, but at intervals during the day Endrid and Randi +worshipped together, communing with those "on the other side." It made +no change in their habits that Randi, soon after their last loss, had +a little daughter. The children that were dead were boys, and this +made them not care so much for a girl. Besides they did not know if +they were to be allowed to keep her. But the health and happiness +that the mother had enjoyed up to the time of the death of the last +little boy, had benefited this child, who soon showed herself to be a +bright little girl, with her mother's pretty face. The two lonely +people again felt the temptation to be hopeful and happy in their +child; but the fateful two years were not over, and they dared not. As +the time drew near, they felt as if they had only been allowed a +respite. + +Knut and Astrid kept a good deal to themselves. The way in which the +young people had taken things did not allow of much sympathy or +consolation being offered them. Besides, Knut was too lively and +worldly-minded to sit long in a house of mourning or to be always +coming in upon a prayer meeting. He moved to a small farm that he had +bought and let, but now took back into his own hands. There he +arranged everything so comfortably and nicely for his dear Astrid, +that people whose intention it was to go to Tingvold, rather stayed +and laughed with him than went on to cry with his children. + +One day when Astrid was in her daughter-in-law's house, she noticed +how little Mildrid went about quite alone; it seemed as if her mother +hardly dared to touch her. When the father came in, she saw the same +mournful sort of reserve towards his own, only child. She concealed +her thoughts, but when she got home to her own dear Knut, she told him +how things stood at Tingvold, and added: "Our place is there now. +Little Mildrid needs some one that dares to love her; pretty, sweet +little child that she is!" Knut was infected by her eagerness, and the +two old people packed up and went home. + +Mildrid was now much with her grandparents, and they taught her +parents to love her. When she was five years old her mother had +another daughter, who was called Beret; and after this Mildrid lived +almost altogether with the old people. The anxious parents began once +more to feel as if there might yet be pleasure for them in life, and a +change in the popular feeling towards them helped them. + +After the loss of the second child, though there were often the +traces of tears on their faces, no one had ever seen them weep--their +grief was silent. There was no changing of servants at Tingvold, that +was one result of the peaceful, God-fearing life there; nothing but +praise of master and mistress was ever heard. They themselves knew +this, and it gave them a feeling of comfort and security. Relations +and friends began to visit them again; and went on doing so, even +though the Tingvold people made no return. + +But they had not been at church since their wedding-day! They partook +of the Communion at home, and held worship there. But when the second +girl was born, they were so desirous to be her godparents themselves +that they made up their minds to venture. They stood together at their +children's graves; they passed Ole Haugen's without word or movement; +the whole congregation showed them respect. But they continued to keep +themselves very much to themselves, and a pious peace rested over +their house. + +One day in her grandmother's house little Mildrid was heard singing +the Bridal March. Old Astrid stopped her work in a fright, and asked +her where in the world she had learned that. The child answered: "From +you, grandmother." Knut, who was sitting in the house, laughed +heartily, for he knew that Astrid had a habit of humming it when she +sat at work. But they both said to little Mildrid that she must never +sing it when her parents were within hearing. Like a child, she asked +"Why?" But to this question she got no answer. One evening she heard +the new herd-boy singing it as he was cutting wood. She told her +grandmother, who had heard it too. All grandmother said was: "He'll +not grow old here!"--and sure enough he had to go next day. No reason +was given; he got his wages and was sent about his business. Mildrid +was so excited about this, that grandmother had to try to tell her the +story of the Bridal March. The little eight year old girl understood +it well enough, and what she did not understand then became clear to +her later. It had an influence on her child-life, and especially on +her conduct towards her parents, that nothing else had or could have +had. + +She had always noticed that they liked quietness. It was no hardship +to her to please them in this; they were so gentle, and talked so much +and so sweetly to her of the children's great Friend in heaven, that +it cast a sort of charm over the whole house. The story of the Bridal +March affected her deeply, and gave her an understanding of all that +they had gone through. She carefully avoided recalling to them any +painful memories, and showed them the tenderest affection, sharing +with them their love of God, their truthfulness, their quietness, +their industry. And she taught Beret to do the same. + +In their grandfather's house the life that had to be suppressed at +home got leave to expand. Here there was singing and dancing and play +and story-telling. So the sisters' young days passed between devotion +to their melancholy parents in the quiet house, and the glad life they +were allowed to take part in at their grandfather's. The families +lived in perfect understanding. It was the parents who told them to go +to the old people and enjoy themselves, and the old people who told +them to go back again, "and be sure to be good girls." + +When a girl between the age of twelve and sixteen takes a sister +between seven and eleven into her full confidence, the confidence is +rewarded by great devotion. But the little one is apt to become too +old for her years. This happened with Beret, while Mildrid only gained +by being forbearing and kind and sympathetic--and she made her parents +and grandparents happy. + +There is no more to tell till Mildrid was in her fifteenth year; then +old Knut died, suddenly and easily. There seemed almost no time +between the day when he sat joking in the chimney-corner and the day +when he lay in his coffin. + +After this, grandmother's greatest pleasure was to have Mildrid +sitting on a stool at her feet, as she had done ever since she was a +little child, and to tell her stories about Knut, or else to get her +to hum the Bridal March. As Astrid sat listening to it, she saw Knut's +handsome dark head as she used to see it in her young days; she +followed him out to the mountain-side, where he blew the March on his +herd-boy's horn, she drove to church by his side--all his brightness +and cleverness lived again for her! + +But in Mildrid's soul a new feeling began to stir. Whilst she sat and +sang for grandmother, she asked herself: "Will it ever be played for +me?" The thought grew upon her, the March spoke to her of such radiant +happiness. She saw a bride's crown glittering in its sunshine, and a +long, bright future beyond that. Sixteen--and she asked herself: +"Shall I, shall I ever have some one sitting beside me, with the +Bridal March shining in his eyes? Only think, if father and mother +were one day to drive with me in such a procession, with the people +greeting us on every side, on to the house where mother was jeered at +that day, past Ole Haugen's flower-covered grave, up to the altar, in +a glory of happiness! Think what it would be if I could give father +and mother that consolation!" And the child's heart swelled, imagining +all this to herself, swelled with pride and with devotion to those +dear parents who had suffered so much. + +These were the first thoughts that she did not confide to Beret. Soon +there were more. Beret, who was now eleven, noticed that she was left +more to herself, but did not understand that she was being gradually +shut out from Mildrid's confidence, till she saw another taken into +her place. This was Inga, from the neighbouring farm, a girl of +eighteen, their own cousin, newly betrothed. When Mildrid and Inga +walked about in the fields, whispering and laughing, with their arms +round each other, as girls love to go, poor Beret would throw herself +down and cry with jealousy. + +The time came on for Mildrid to be confirmed; she made acquaintance +with other young people of her own age, and some of them began to come +up to Tingvold on Sundays. Mildrid saw them either out of doors or in +her grandmother's room. Tingvold had always been a forbidden, and +consequently mysteriously attractive place to the young people. But +even now, only those with a certain quietness and seriousness of +disposition went there, for it could not be denied that there was +something subdued about Mildrid, that did not attract every one. + +At this particular time there was a great deal of music and singing +among the youth of the district. For some reason or other there are +such periods, and these periods have their leaders. One of the leaders +now was, curiously enough, again of the race of Haugen. + +Amongst a people where once on a time, even though it were hundreds of +years ago, almost every man and woman sought and found expression for +their intensest feelings and experiences in song, and were able +themselves to make the verses that gave them relief--amongst such a +people the art can never quite die out. Here and there, even though it +does not make itself heard, it must exist, ready on occasion to be +awakened to new life. But in this district songs had been made and +sung from time immemorial. It was by no mere chance that Ole Haugen +was born here, and here became what he was. Now it was his grandson in +whom the gift had reappeared. + +Ole's son had been so much younger than the daughter who had married +into the Tingvold family, that the latter, already a married woman, +had stood godmother to her little brother. After a life full of +changes, this son, as an old man, had come into possession of his +father's home and little bit of land far up on the mountain-side; and, +strangely enough, not till then did he marry. He had several children, +among them a boy called Hans, who seemed to have inherited his +grandfather's gifts--not exactly in the way of fiddle-playing, though +he did play--but he sang the old songs beautifully and made new ones +himself. People's appreciation of his songs was not a little added to +by the fact that so few knew himself; there were not many that had +even seen him. His old father had been a hunter, and while the boys +were quite small, the old man took them out to the hillside and taught +them to load and aim a gun. They always remembered how pleased he was +when they were able to earn enough with their shooting to pay for +their own powder and shot. He did not live long after this, and soon +after his death their mother died too, and the children were left to +take care of themselves, which they managed to do. The boys hunted and +the girls looked after the little hill farm. People turned to look at +them when they once in a way showed themselves in the valley; they +were so seldom there. It was a long, bad road down. In winter they +occasionally came to sell or send off the produce of their hunting; in +summer they were busy with the strangers. Their little holding was the +highest lying in the district, and it became famed for having that +pure mountain air which cures people suffering from their lungs or +nerves, better than any yet discovered medicine; every year they had +as many summer visitors, from town, and even from abroad, as they +could accommodate. They added several rooms to their house, and still +it was always full. So these brothers and sisters, from being poor, +very poor, came to be quite well-to-do. Intercourse with so many +strangers had made them a little different from the other country +people--they even knew something of foreign languages. Hans was now +twenty-seven. Some years before he had bought up his brothers' and +sisters' shares, so that the whole place belonged to him. + +Not one of the family had ever set foot in the house of their +relations at Tingvold. Endrid and Randi Tingvold, though they had +doubtless never put the feeling into words, could just as little bear +to hear the name of Haugen as to hear the Bridal March. These +children's poor father had been made to feel this, and in consequence, +Hans had forbidden his brothers and sisters ever to go to the house. +But the girls at Tingvold, who loved music, longed to make +acquaintance with Hans, and when they and their girl friends were +together, they talked more about the family at Haugen than about +anything else. Hans's songs and tunes were sung and danced to, and +they were for ever planning how they could manage to meet the young +farmer of Haugen. + +After this happy time of young companionship came Mildrid's +confirmation. Just before it there was a quiet pause, and after it +came another. Mildrid, now about seventeen, spent the autumn almost +alone with her parents. In spring, or rather summer, she was, like all +the other girls after their confirmation, to go to the soeter in +charge of cattle. She was delighted at the thought of this, especially +as her friend Inga was to be at the next soeter. + +At last her longing for the time to come grew so strong that she had +no peace at home, and Beret, who was to accompany her, grew restless +too. When they got settled in the soeter Beret was quite absorbed in +the new, strange life, but Mildrid was still restless. She had her +busy times with the cattle and the milk, but there were long idle +hours that she did not know how to dispose of. Some days she spent +them with Inga, listening to her stories of her lover, but often she +had no inclination to go there. She was glad when Inga came to her, +and affectionate, as if she wanted to make up for her faithlessness. +She seldom talked to Beret, and often when Beret talked to her, +answered nothing but Yes or No. When Inga came, Beret took herself +off, and when Mildrid went to see Inga, Beret went crying away after +the cows, and had the herd-boys for company. Mildrid felt that there +was something wrong in all this, but with the best will she could not +set it right. + +She was sitting one day near the soeter, herding the goats and +sheep, because one of the herd-boys had played truant and she had to +do his work. It was a warm midday; she was sitting in the shade of a +hillock overgrown with birch and underwood; she had thrown off her +jacket and taken her knitting in her hand, and was expecting Inga. +Something rustled behind her. "There she comes," thought Mildrid, and +looked up. + +But there was more noise than Inga was likely to make, and such a +breaking and cracking among the bushes. Mildrid turned pale, got up, +and saw something hairy and a pair of eyes below it--it must be a +bear's head! She wanted to scream, but no voice would come; she wanted +to run, but could not stir. The thing raised itself up--it was a tall, +broad-shouldered man with a fur cap, a gun in his hand. He stopped +short among the bushes and looked at her sharply for a second or two, +then took a step forward, a jump, and stood in the field beside her. +Something moved at her feet, and she gave a little cry; it was his +dog, that she had not seen before. + +"Oh, dear!" she said; "I thought it was a bear breaking through the +bushes, and I got such a fright!" And she tried to laugh. + +"Well, it might almost have been that," said he, speaking in a very +quiet voice; "Kvas and I were on the track of a bear; but now we have +lost it; and if I have a 'Vardöger,'[1] it is certainly a bear." + +He smiled. She looked at him. Who can he be? Tall, broad-shouldered, +wiry; his eyes restless, so that she could not see them rightly; +besides, she was standing quite close to him, just where he had +suddenly appeared before her with his dog and his gun. + +She felt the inclination to say, "Go away!" but instead she drew back +a few steps, and asked: "Who are you?" She was really frightened. + +"Hans Haugen," answered the man rather absently; for he was paying +attention to the dog, which seemed to have found the track of the bear +again. He was just going to add, "Good-bye!" but when he looked at her +she was blushing; cheeks, neck, and bosom crimson. + +"What's the matter?" said he, astonished. + +She did not know what to do or where to go, whether to run away or to +sit down. + +"Who are you?" asked Hans in his turn. + +Once again she turned crimson, for to tell him her name was to tell +him everything. + +"Who are you?" he repeated, as if it were the most natural question in +the world, and deserved an answer. + +And she could not refuse the answer, though she felt ashamed of +herself, and ashamed of her parents, who had neglected their own +kindred. The name had to be said. "Mildrid Tingvold," she whispered, +and burst into tears. + +It was true enough; the Tingvold people had given him little reason to +care for them. Of his own free will he would scarcely have spoken to +one of them. But he had never foreseen anything like this, and he +looked at the girl in amazement. He seemed to remember some story of +her mother having cried like that in church on her wedding-day. +"Perhaps it's in the family," he thought, and turned to go. "Forgive +me for having frightened you," he said, and took his way up the +hillside after his dog. + +By the time she ventured to look up he had just reached the top of the +ridge, and there he turned to look at her. It was only for an instant, +for at that moment the dog barked on the other side. Hans gave a +start, held his gun in readiness, and hurried on. Mildrid was still +gazing at the place where he had stood, when a shot startled her. +Could that be the bear? Could it have been so near her? + +Off she went, climbing where he had just climbed, till she stood where +he had stood, shading her eyes with her hand, and--sure enough, there +he was, half hidden by a bush, on his knees beside a huge bear! Before +she knew what she was doing, she was down beside him. He gave her a +smile of welcome, and explained to her, in his low voice, how it had +happened that they had lost the track and the dog had not scented the +animal till they were almost upon it. By this time she had forgotten +her tears and her bashfulness, and he had drawn his knife to skin the +bear on the spot. The flesh was of no value at this time; he meant to +bury the carcass and take only the skin. So she held, and he skinned; +then she ran down to the soeter for an axe and a spade; and although +she still felt afraid of the bear, and it had a bad smell, she kept on +helping him till all was finished. By this time it was long past +twelve o'clock, and he invited himself to dinner at the soeter. He +washed himself and the skin, no small piece of work, and then came in +and sat beside her while she finished preparing the food. + +He chatted about one thing and another, easily and pleasantly, in the +low voice that seems to become natural to people who are much alone. +Mildrid gave the shortest answers possible, and when it came to +sitting opposite him at the table, she could neither speak nor eat, +and there was often silence between them. When she had finished he +turned round his chair and filled and lit his pipe. He too was quieter +now, and presently he got up. "I must be going," he said, holding out +his hand, "it's a long way home from here." Then added, in a still +lower voice: "Do you sit every day where you were to-day?" He held her +hand for a moment, expecting an answer; but she dared not look up, +much less speak. Then she felt him press her hand quickly. "Good-bye, +then, and thank you!" he said in a louder tone, and before she could +collect herself, she saw him, with the bearskin over his shoulder, the +gun in his hand, and the dog at his side, striding away over the +heather. There was a dip in the hills just there, and she saw him +clear against the sky; his light, firm step taking him quickly away. +She watched till he was out of sight, then came outside and sat down, +still looking in the same direction. + +Not till now was she aware that her heart was beating so violently +that she had to press her hands over it. In a minute or two she lay +down on the grass, leaning her head on her arm, and began to go +carefully over every event of the day. She saw him start up among the +bushes and stand before her, strong and active, looking restlessly +round. She felt over again the bewilderment and the fright, and her +tears of shame. She saw him against the sun, on the height; she heard +the shot, and was again on her knees before him, helping him with the +skinning of the bear. She heard once more every word that he said, in +that low voice that sounded so friendly, and that touched her heart as +she thought of it; she listened to it as he sat beside the hearth +while she was cooking, and then at table with her. She felt that she +had no longer dared to look into his face, so that at last she had +made him feel awkward too; for he had grown silent. Then she heard him +speak once again, as he took her hand; and she felt his clasp--felt it +still, through her whole body. She saw him go away over the +heather--away, away! + +Would he ever come back? Impossible, after the way she had behaved. +How strong, and brave, and self-reliant was everything she had seen of +him, and how stupid and miserable all that he had seen of her, from +her first scream of fright when the dog touched her, to her blush of +shame and her tears; from the clumsy help she gave him, to her +slowness in preparing the food. And to think that when he looked at +her she was not able to speak; not even to say No, when he asked her +if she sat under the hill every day--for she didn't sit there every +day! Might not her silence then have seemed like an invitation to him +to come and see? Might not her whole miserable helplessness have been +misunderstood in the same way? What shame she felt now! She was hot +all over with it, and she buried her burning face deeper and deeper in +the grass. Then she called up the whole picture once more; all his +excellences and her shortcomings; and again the shame of it all +overwhelmed her. + +She was still lying there when the sound of the bells told her that +the cattle were coming home; then she jumped up and began to work. +Beret saw as soon as she came that something had happened. Mildrid +asked such stupid questions and gave such absurd answers, and +altogether behaved in such an extraordinary way, that she several +times just stopped and stared at her. When it came to supper-time, and +Mildrid, instead of taking her place at the table, went and sat down +outside, saying that she had just had dinner, Beret was as intensely +on the alert as a dog who scents game at hand. She took her supper and +went to bed. The sisters slept in the same bed, and, as Mildrid did +not come, Beret got up softly once or twice to look if her sister were +still sitting out there, and if she were alone. Yes, she was there, +and alone. + +Eleven o'clock, and then twelve, and then one, and still Mildrid sat +and Beret waked. She pretended to be asleep when Mildrid came at last, +and Mildrid moved softly, so softly; but her sister heard her sobbing, +and when she had got into bed she heard her say her usual evening +prayer so sadly, heard her whisper: "O God, help me, help me!" It made +Beret so unhappy that she could not get to sleep even now. She felt +her sister restlessly changing from one position to another; she saw +her at last giving it up, throwing aside the covering, and lying +open-eyed, with her hands below her head, staring into vacancy. She +saw and heard no more, for at last she fell asleep. + +When she awoke next morning Mildrid's place was empty. Beret jumped +up; the sun was high in the sky; the cattle were away long ago. She +found her breakfast set ready, took it hurriedly, and went out and saw +Mildrid at work, but looking ill. Beret said that she was going to +hurry after the cattle. Mildrid said nothing in answer, but gave her a +glance as though of thanks. The younger girl stood a minute thinking, +and then went off. + +Mildrid looked round; yes, she was alone. She hastily put away the +dishes, leaving everything else as it was. Then she washed herself and +changed her dress, took her knitting, and set off up the hill. + +She had not the new strength of the new day, for she had hardly slept +or eaten anything for twenty-four hours. She walked in a dream, and +knew nothing clearly till she was at the place where she had sat +yesterday. + +Hardly had she seated herself when she thought: "If he were to come +and find me here, he would believe--" She started up mechanically. +There was his dog on the hillside. It stood still and looked at her, +then rushed down to her, wagging its tail. Her heart stopped beating. +There--there he stood, with his gun gleaming in the sun, just as he +had stood yesterday. To-day he had come another way. He smiled to her, +ran down, and stood before her. She had given a little scream and sunk +down on the grass again. It was more than she could do to stand up; +she let her knitting drop, and put her hands up to her face. He did +not say a word. He lay down on the grass in front of her, and looked +up at her, the dog at his side with its eyes fixed on him. She felt +that though she was turning her head away, he could see her hot blush, +her eyes, her whole face. She heard him breathing quickly; she thought +she felt his breath on her hand. She did not want him to speak, and +yet his silence was dreadful. She knew that he must understand why she +was sitting there; and greater shame than this no one had ever felt. +But it was not right of him, either, to have come, and still worse of +him to be lying there. + +Then she felt him take one of her hands and hold it tight, then the +other, so that she had to turn a little that way; he drew her gently, +but strongly and firmly towards him with eye and hand, till she was at +his side, her head fallen on his shoulder. She felt him stroke her +hair with one hand, but she dared not look up. Presently she broke +into passionate weeping at the thought of her shameful behaviour. + +"Yes, you may cry," said he, "but I will laugh; what has happened to +us two is matter both for laughter and for tears." + +His voice shook. And now he bent over her and whispered that the +farther away he went from her yesterday the nearer he seemed to be to +her. The feeling overmastered him so, that when he reached his little +shooting cabin, where he had a German officer with him this summer, +recruiting after the war, he left the guest to take care of himself, +and wandered farther up the mountain. He spent the night on the +heights, sometimes sitting, sometimes wandering about. He went home to +breakfast, but away again immediately. He was twenty-eight now, no +longer a boy, and he felt that either this girl must be his or it +would go badly with him. He wandered to the place where they had met +yesterday; he did not expect that she would be there again; but when +he saw her, he felt that he must make the venture; and when he came to +see that she was feeling just as he was--"Why, then"--and he raised +her head gently. And she had stopped crying, and his eyes shone so +that she had to look into them, and then she turned red and put her +head down again. + +He went on talking in his low, half-whispering voice. The sun shone +through the tree-tops, the birches trembled in the breeze, the birds +mingled their song with the sound of a little stream rippling over its +stony bed. + +How long the two sat there together, neither of them knew. At last +the dog startled them. He had made several excursions, and each time +had come back and lain down beside them again; but now he ran barking +down the hill. They both jumped up and stood for a minute listening. +But nothing appeared. Then they looked at each other again, and Hans +lifted her up in his arms. She had not been lifted like this since she +was a child, and there was something about it that made her feel +helpless. When he looked up beaming into her face, she bent and put +her arms round his neck--he was now her strength, her future, her +happiness, her life itself--she resisted no longer. + +Nothing was said. He held her tight; she clung to him. He carried her +to the place where she had sat at first, and sat down there with her +on his knee. She did not unloose her arms, she only bent her head +close down to his so as to hide her face from him. He was just going +to force her to let him look into it, when some one right in front of +them called in a voice of astonishment: "Mildrid!" + +It was Inga, who had come up after the dog. Mildrid sprang to her +feet, looked at her friend for an instant, then went up to her, put +one arm round her neck, and laid her head on her shoulder. Inga put +her arm round Mildrid's waist. "Who is he?" she whispered, and Mildrid +felt her tremble, but said nothing. Inga knew who he was--knew him +quite well--but could not believe her own eyes. Then Hans came slowly +forward, "I thought you knew me," he said quietly; "I am Hans Haugen." +When she heard his voice, Mildrid lifted her head. How good and true +he looked as he stood there! He held out his hand; she went forward +and took it, and looked at her friend with a flush of mingled shame +and joy. + +Then Hans took his gun and said good-bye, whispering to Mildrid: "You +may be sure I'll come soon again!" + +The girls walked with him as far as the soeter, and watched him, as +Mildrid had done yesterday, striding away over the heather in the +sunlight. They stood as long as they could see him; Mildrid, who was +leaning on Inga, would not let her go; Inga felt that she did not want +her to move or speak. From time to time one or the other whispered: +"He's looking back!" When he was out of sight Mildrid turned round to +Inga and said: "Don't ask me anything. I can't tell you about it!" She +held her tight for a second, and then they walked towards the +soeter-house. Mildrid remembered now how she had left all her work +undone. Inga helped her with it. They spoke very little, and only +about the work. Just once Mildrid stopped, and whispered: "Isn't he +handsome?" + +She set out some dinner, but could eat little herself, though she felt +the need both of food and sleep. Inga left as soon as she could, for +she saw that Mildrid would rather be alone. Then Mildrid lay down on +her bed. She was lying, half asleep already, thinking over the events +of the morning, and trying to remember the nicest things that Hans +had said, when it suddenly occurred to her to ask herself what she had +answered. Then it flashed upon her that during their whole meeting she +had not spoken, not said a single word! + +She sat up in bed and said to herself: "He could not have gone far +till this must have struck him too--and what can he have thought? He +must take me for a creature without a will, going about in a dream. +How can he go on caring for me? Yesterday it was not till he had gone +away from me that he found out he cared for me at all--what will he +find out to-day?" she asked herself with a shiver of dread. She got +up, went out, and sat down where she had sat so long yesterday. + +All her life Mildrid had been accustomed to take herself to account +for her behaviour; circumstances had obliged her to walk carefully. +Now, thinking over what had happened these last two days, it struck +her forcibly that she had behaved without tact, without thought, +almost without modesty. She had never read or heard about anything +happening like this; she looked at it from the peasant's point of +view, and none take these matters more strictly than they. It is +seemly to control one's feelings--it is honourable to be slow to show +them. She, who had done this all her life, and consequently been +respected by every one, had in one day given herself to a man she had +never seen before! Why, he himself must be the first to despise her! +It showed how bad things were, that she dared not tell what had +happened, not even to Inga! + +With the first sound of the cow-bells in the distance came Beret, to +find her sister sitting on the bench in front of the soeter-house, +looking half dead. Beret stood in front of her till she was forced to +raise her head and look at her. Mildrid's eyes were red with crying, +and her whole expression was one of suffering. But it changed to +surprise when she saw Beret's face, which was scarlet with excitement. + +"Whatever is the matter with you?" she exclaimed. + +"Nothing!" answered Beret, standing staring fixedly at Mildrid, who +at last looked away, and got up to go and attend to the cows. + +The sisters did not meet again till supper, when they sat opposite to +each other. Mildrid was not able to eat more then a few mouthfuls. She +sat and looked absently at the others, oftenest at Beret, who ate on +steadily, gulping down her food like a hungry dog. + +"Have you had nothing to eat to-day?" asked Mildrid. + +"No!" answered Beret, and ate on. Presently Mildrid spoke again: "Have +you not been with the herds then?" + +"No!" answered her sister and both of the boys. Before them Mildrid +would not ask more, and afterwards her own morbid reflections took +possession of her again, and along with them the feeling that she was +no fit person to be in charge of Beret. This was one more added to the +reproaches she made to herself all that long summer evening and far +into the night. + +There she sat, on the bench by the door, till the blood-red clouds +changed gradually to cold grey, no peace and no desire for sleep +coming to her. The poor child had never before been in real distress. +Oh, how she prayed! She stopped and she began again; she repeated +prayers that she had learned, and she made up petitions of her own. At +last, utterly exhausted, she went to bed. + +There she tried once more to collect her thoughts for a final struggle +with the terrible question, Should she give him up or not? But she had +no strength left; she could only say over and over again: "Help me, O +God! help me!" She went on like this for a long time, sometimes saying +it in to herself, sometimes out loud. All at once she got such a +fright that she gave a loud scream. Beret was kneeling up in bed +looking at her; her sparkling eyes, hot face, and short breathing +showing a terrible state of excitement. + +"Who is he?" she whispered, almost threateningly. Mildrid, crushed by +her self-torture, and worn out in soul and body, could not answer; +she began to cry. + +"Who is he?" repeated the other, closer to her face; "you needn't try +to hide it any longer; I was watching you to-day the whole time!" + +Mildrid held up her arms as if to defend herself, but Beret beat them +back, looked straight into her eyes, and again repeated, "Who is he, I +say?" + +"Beret, Beret!" moaned Mildrid; "have I ever been anything but kind to +you since you were a little child. Why are you so cruel to me now that +I am in trouble?" + +Then Beret, moved by her tears, let go her arms; but her short hard +breathing still betrayed her excitement. "Is it Hans Haugen?" she +whispered. + +There was a moment of breathless suspense, and then Mildrid whispered +back: "Yes"--and began to cry again. + +Beret drew down her arms once more; she wanted to see her face. "Why +did you not tell me about it, Mildrid?" she asked, with the same +fierce eagerness. + +"Beret, I didn't know it myself. I never saw him till yesterday. And +as soon as I saw him I loved him, and let him see it, and that is what +is making me so unhappy, so unhappy that I feel as if I must die of +it!" + +"You never saw him before yesterday?" screamed Beret, so astonished +that she could hardly believe it. + +"Never in my life!" replied Mildrid. "Isn't it shameful, Beret?" + +But Beret threw her arms round her sister's neck, and kissed her over +and over again. + +"Dear, sweet Mildrid, I'm so glad!" she whispered, now radiant with +joy. "I'm so glad, so glad!" and she kissed her once more. "And you'll +see how I can keep a secret, Mildrid!" She hugged her to her breast, +but sat up again, and said sorrowfully: "And you thought I couldn't do +it; O Mildrid! not even when it was about you!" + +And now it was Beret's turn to cry. "Why have you put me away? Why +have you taken Inga instead of me? You've made me so dreadfully +unhappy, Mildrid! O Mildrid, you don't know how I love you!" and she +clung to her. Then Mildrid kissed her, and told her that she had done +it without thinking what she was doing, but that now she would never +again put her aside, and would tell her everything, because she was so +good and true and faithful. + +The sisters lay for a little with their arms round each other; then +Beret sat up again; she wanted to look into her sister's face in the +light of the summer night, that was gradually taking a tinge of red +from the coming dawn. Then she burst out with: "Mildrid, how handsome +he is! How did he come? How did you see him first? What did he say? Do +tell me about it!" + +And Mildrid now poured out to her sister all that a few hours ago it +had seemed to her she could never tell to anybody. She was sometimes +interrupted by Beret's throwing her arms round her and hugging her, +but she went on again with all the more pleasure. It seemed to her +like a strange legend of the woods. They laughed and they cried. Sleep +had gone from them both. The sun found them still entranced by this +wonderful tale--Mildrid lying down or resting on one elbow and +talking, Beret kneeling beside her, her mouth half open, her eyes +sparkling, from time to time giving a little cry of delight. + +They got up together and did their work together, and when they had +finished, and for the sake of appearances taken a little breakfast, +they prepared for the meeting with Hans. He was sure to come soon! +They dressed themselves out in their best, and went up to Mildrid's +place on the hill. Beret showed where she had lain hidden yesterday. +The dog had found her out, she said, and paid her several visits. The +weather was fine to-day too, though there were some clouds in the sky. +The girls found plenty to say to each other, till it was about the +time when Hans might be expected. Beret ran once or twice up to the +top of the hill, to see if he were in sight, but there was no sign of +him. Then they began to grow impatient, and at last Mildrid got so +excited that Beret was frightened. She tried to soothe her by +reminding her that Hans was not his own master; that he had left the +German gentleman two whole days to fish and shoot alone, and prepare +food for himself; and that he would hardly dare to leave him a third. +And Mildrid acknowledged that this might be so. + +"What do you think father and mother will say to all this?" asked +Beret, just to divert Mildrid's thoughts. She repented the moment the +words were uttered. Mildrid turned pale and stared at Beret, who +stared back at her. Beret wondered if her sister had never thought of +this till now, and said so. Yes; she had thought of it, but as of +something very far off. The fear of what Hans Haugen might think of +her, the shame of her own weakness and stupidity, had so occupied her +mind that they had left no room for anything else. But now things +suddenly changed round, and she could think of nothing but her +parents. + +Beret again tried to comfort her. Whenever father and mother saw +Hans, they would feel that Mildrid was right--they would never make +her unhappy who had given them their greatest happiness. Grandmother +would help her. No one could say a word against Hans Haugen, and _he_ +would never give her up! Mildrid heard all this, but did not take it +in, for she was thinking of something else, and to get time to think +it out rightly, she asked Beret to go and prepare the dinner. And +Beret walked slowly away, looking back several times. + +Mildrid wanted to be left alone a little to make up her mind whether +she should go at once and tell her parents. It seemed a terrible +matter to her in her excited, exhausted state. She felt now that it +would be a sin if she saw Hans again without their knowledge. She had +done very wrong in engaging herself to him without having their +consent; but she had been in a manner surprised into that; it had come +about almost without her will. Her duty now, though, was clearly to go +and tell them. + +She rose to her feet, with a new light in her eyes. She would do what +was right. Before Hans stood there again, her parents should know all. +"That's it!" she said, aloud, as if some one were there, and then +hurried down to the soeter to tell Beret. But Beret was nowhere to +be seen. "Beret! Beret!" shouted Mildrid, but only the echoes gave +answer. Excited Mildrid was already, but now she got frightened too. +Beret's great eyes, as she asked: "What do you think father and mother +will say to this?" seemed to grow ever greater and more threatening. +Surely _she_ could never have gone off to tell them? Yet it would be +just like her hasty way to think she would settle the thing at once, +and bring comfort to her sister. To be sure that was it! And if Beret +reached home before her, father and mother would get a wrong idea of +everything! + +Off Mildrid went, down the road that led to the valley. She walked +unconsciously faster and faster, carried away by ever-increasing +excitement; till her head began to turn and her breathing to get +oppressed. She had to sit down for a rest. Sitting did not seem to +help her, so she stretched herself out, resting her head on her arm, +and lay there, feeling forsaken, helpless, almost betrayed--by +affection it was true--but still betrayed. + +In a few moments she was asleep! For two days and nights she had +hardly slept or eaten; and she had no idea of the effect this had had +on her mind and body--the child who till now had eaten and slept so +regularly and peacefully in her quiet home. How was it possible that +she could understand anything at all of what had happened to her? All +that she had been able to give to her affectionate but melancholy +parents out of her heart's rich store of love, was a kind of watchful +care; in her grandmother's brighter home longings for something more +had often come over her, but there was nothing even there to satisfy +them. So now when love's full spring burst upon her, she stood amidst +its rain of blossoms frightened and ashamed. + +Tormented by her innocent conscience, the poor tired child had run a +race with herself till she fell--now she slept, caressed by the pure +mountain breeze. + +Beret had not gone home, but away to fetch Hans Haugen. She had far to +go, and most of the way was unknown to her. It went first by the edge +of a wood, and then higher over bare flats, not quite safe from wild +animals, which she knew had been seen there lately. But she went on, +for Hans really must come. If he did not, she was sure things would go +badly with Mildrid; she seemed so changed to-day. + +In spite of her anxiety about Mildrid, Beret's heart was light, and +she stepped merrily on, her thoughts running all the time on this +wonderful adventure. She could think of no one better or grander than +Hans Haugen, and none but the very best was good enough for Mildrid. +There was nothing whatever to be surprised at in Mildrid's giving +herself up to him at once; just as little as in his at once falling in +love with her. If father and mother could not be brought to +understand this, they must just be left to do as they chose, and the +two must fight their own battle as her great-grandparents had done, +and her grandparents too--and she began to sing the old Bridal March. +Its joyful tones sounded far over the bare heights and seemed to die +away among the clouds. + +When she got right on the top of the hill she was crossing, she stood +and shouted "Hurrah!" From here she could see only the last strip of +cultivated land on the farther side of their valley; and on this side +the upper margin of the forest, above it stretches of heather, and +where she stood, nothing but boulders and flat rocks. She flew from +stone to stone in the light air. She knew that Hans's hut lay in the +direction of the snow mountain whose top stood out above all the +others, and presently she thought that she must be getting near it. To +get a better look around she climbed up on to an enormous stone, and +from the top of it she saw a mountain lake just below. Whether it was +a rock or a hut she saw by the water's edge she could not be sure; one +minute it looked like a hut, the next like a big stone. But she knew +that his cabin lay by a mountain lake. Yes, that must be it, for there +came a boat rowing round the point. Two men were in the boat--they +must be Hans and the German officer. Down she jumped and off again. +But what had looked so near was really far off, and she ran and ran, +excited by the thought of meeting Hans Haugen. + +Hans sat quietly in his boat with the German, ignorant of all the +disturbance he had caused. _He_ had never known what it was to be +frightened; nor had he ever till now known the feeling of being in +love. As soon as he did feel it, it was intolerable to him until he +had settled the matter. Now it was settled, and he was sitting there +setting words to the Bridal March! + +He was not much of a poet, but he made out something about their ride +to church, and the refrain of every verse told of their meeting in the +wood. He whistled and fished and felt very happy; and the German +fished away quietly and left him in peace. + +A halloo sounded from the shore, and both he and the bearded German +looked up and saw a girl waving. They exchanged a few words and rowed +ashore. Hans jumped out and tied up the boat, and they lifted out the +guns, coats, fish, and fishing tackle; the German went away towards +the cabin, but Hans with his load came up to Beret, who was standing +on a stone a little way off. + +"Who are you?" he asked gently. + +"Beret, Mildrid's sister," she answered, blushing, and he blushed too. +But the next moment he turned pale. + +"Is there anything the matter?" + +"No! just that you must come. She can't bear to be left alone just +now." + +He stood a minute and looked at her, then turned and went towards the +hut. The German was standing outside, hanging up his fishing tackle; +Hans hung up his, and they spoke together, and then went in. Ever +since Beret's halloo, two dogs, shut up in the cabin, had been +barking with all their might. When the men opened the door they burst +out, but were at once sternly called back. It was some time before +Hans came out again. He had changed his clothes, and had his gun and +dog with him. The German gentleman came to the door, and they shook +hands as if saying good-bye for a considerable time. Hans came up +quickly to Beret. + +"Can you walk fast?" he asked. + +"Of course I can." + +And off they went, she running, the dog far ahead. + +Beret's message had entirely changed the current of Hans's thoughts. +It had never occurred to him before that Mildrid might not have the +same happy, sure feeling about their engagement that he had. But now +he saw how natural it was that she should be uneasy about her parents; +and how natural, too, that she should feel alarmed by the hurried rush +in which everything had come about. He understood it so well now that +he was perfectly astonished at himself for not having thought of it +before--and on he strode. + +Even on him the suddenness of the meeting with Mildrid, and the +violence of their feelings, had at first made a strange impression; +what must she, a child, knowing nothing but the quiet reserve of her +parents' house, have felt, thus launched suddenly on the stormy sea of +passion!--and on he strode. + +While he was marching along, lost in these reflections, Beret was +trotting at his side, always, when she could, with her face turned +towards his. Now and then he had caught a glimpse of her big eyes and +flaming cheeks; but his thoughts were like a veil over his sight; he +saw her indistinctly, and then suddenly not at all. He turned round; +she was a good way behind, toiling after him as hard as she could. She +had been too proud to say that she could not keep up with him any +longer. He stood and waited till she made up to him, breathless, with +tears in her eyes. "Ah! I'm walking too fast," and he held out his +hand. She was panting so that she could not answer. "Let us sit down a +little," he said, drawing her to him; "come!" and he made her sit +close to him. If possible she got redder than before, and did not look +at him; and she drew breath so painfully that it seemed as if she were +almost choking. "I'm so thirsty!" was the first thing she managed to +say. They rose and he looked round, but there was no stream near. "We +must wait till we get a little farther on," he said; "and anyhow it +wouldn't be good for you to drink just now." + +So they sat down again, she on a stone in front of him. + +"I ran the whole way," she said, as if to excuse herself--and +presently added, "and I have had no dinner," and after another +pause--"and I didn't sleep last night." + +Instead of expressing any sympathy with her, he asked sharply: "Then I +suppose Mildrid did not sleep last night either? And she has not +eaten, I saw that myself, not for"--he thought a little--"not for ever +so long." + +He rose. "Can you go on now?" + +"I think so." + +He took her hand, and they set off again at a tremendous pace. Soon he +saw that she could not keep it up, so he took off his coat, gave it to +her to hold, and lifted her up and carried her. She did not want him +to do it, but he just went easily off with her, and Beret held on by +his neckerchief, for she dared not touch him. Soon she said that she +had got her breath and could run quite well again, so he put her down, +took his coat and hung it over his gun--and off they went! When they +came to a stream they stopped and rested a little before she took a +drink. As she got up he gave her a friendly smile, and said: "You're a +good little one." + +Evening was coming on when they reached the soeter. They looked in +vain for Mildrid, both there and at her place on the hillside. Their +calls died away in the distance, and when Hans noticed the dog +standing snuffing at something they felt quite alarmed. They ran to +look--it was her little shawl. At once Hans set the dog to seek the +owner of the shawl. He sprang off, and they after him, across the hill +and down on the other side, towards Tingvold. Could she have gone +home? Beret told of her own thoughtless question and its consequences, +and Hans said he saw it all. Beret began to cry. + +"Shall we go after her or not?" said Hans. + +"Yes, yes!" urged Beret, half distracted. But first they would have to +go to the next soeter, and ask their neighbours to send some one to +attend to the cows for them. While they were still talking about this, +and at the same time following the dog, they saw him stop and look +back, wagging his tail. They ran to him, and there lay Mildrid! + +She was lying with her head on her arm, her face half buried in the +heather. They stepped up gently; the dog licked her hands and cheek, +and she stretched herself and changed her position, but slept on. "Let +her sleep!" whispered Hans; "and you go and put in the cows. I hear +the bells." As Beret was running off he went after her. "Bring some +food with you when you come back," he whispered. Then he sat down a +little way from Mildrid, made the dog lie down beside him, and sat and +held him to keep him from barking. + +It was a cloudy evening. The near heights and the mountain-tops were +grey; it was very quiet; there was not even a bird to be seen. He sat +or lay, with his hand on the dog. He had soon settled what to arrange +with Mildrid when she awoke. There was no cloud in their future; he +lay quietly looking up into the sky. He knew that their meeting was a +miracle. God Himself had told him that they were to go through life +together. + +He fell to working away at the Bridal March again, and the words that +came to him now expressed the quiet happiness of the hour. + +It was about eight o'clock when Beret came back, bringing food with +her. Mildrid was still sleeping. Beret set down what she was carrying, +looked at them both for a minute, and then went and sat down a little +way from them. Nearly an hour passed, Beret getting up from time to +time to keep herself from falling asleep. Soon after nine Mildrid +awoke. She turned several times, at last opened her eyes, saw where +she was lying, sat up, and noticed the others. She was still +bewildered with sleep, so that she did not take in rightly where she +was or what she saw, till Hans rose and came smiling towards her. Then +she held out her hands to him. + +He sat down beside her: + +"You've had a sleep now, Mildrid?" + +"Yes, I've slept now." + +"And you're hungry?" + +"Yes, I'm hungry----" and Beret came forward with the food. She looked +at it and then at them. "Have I slept long?" she asked. + +"Well, it's almost nine o'clock; look at the sun!" + +Not till now did she begin to remember everything. + +"Have you sat here long?" + +"No, not very long--but you must eat!" She began to do so. "You were +on your way down to the valley?" asked Hans gently, with his head +nearer hers. She blushed and whispered, "Yes." + +"To-morrow, when you've really had a good sleep and rest, we'll go +down together." + +Her eyes looked into his, first in surprise, then as if she were +thanking him, but she said nothing. + +After this she seemed to revive; she asked Beret where _she_ had been, +and Beret told that she had gone to fetch Hans, and he told all the +rest. Mildrid ate and listened, and yielded gradually once again to +the old fascination. She laughed when Hans told her how the dog had +found her, and had licked her face without wakening her. He was at +this moment greedily watching every bite she took, and she began to +share with him. + +As soon as she had finished, they went slowly towards the soeter--and +Beret was soon in bed. The two sat on the bench outside the door. +Small rain was beginning to fall, but the broad eaves kept them from +feeling it. The mist closed round the soeter, and shut them in in +a sort of magic circle. It was neither day nor night, but dark rather +than light. Each softly spoken word brought more confidence into their +talk. Now for the first time they were really speaking to each other. +He asked her so humbly to forgive him for not having remembered that +she must feel differently from him, and that she had parents who must +be consulted. She confessed her fear, and then she told him that he +was the first real, strong, self-reliant man she had ever known, and +that this, and other things she had heard about him, had--she would +not go on. + +But in their trembling happiness everything spoke, to the slightest +breath they drew. That wonderful intercourse began of soul with soul, +which in most cases precedes and prepares for the first embrace, but +with these two came after it. The first timid questions came through +the darkness, the first timid answers found their way back. The words +fell softly, like spirit sounds on the night air. At last Mildrid took +courage to ask hesitatingly if her behaviour had not sometimes struck +him as very strange. He assured her that he had never thought it so, +never once. Had he not noticed that she had not said one word all the +time they were together yesterday? No, he had not noticed that. Had he +not wondered at her going off down to her parents? No, he had thought +it only right of her. Had he not thought (for a long time she would +not say this, but at last the words came, in a whisper, with her face +turned away), had he not thought that she had let things go too +quickly? No, he had only thought how beautifully everything had +happened. But what had he thought of the way she had cried at their +first meeting? Well, at the time it had puzzled him, but now he +understood it, quite well--and he was glad she was like that. + +All these answers made her so happy that she felt she wanted to be +alone. And as if he had guessed this, he got up quietly and said that +now she must go to bed. She rose. He nodded and went off slowly +towards the shed where he was to sleep; she hurried in, undressed, +and when she had got into bed she folded her hands and thanked God. +Oh, how she thanked Him! Thanked Him for Hans's love, and patience, +and kindness--she had not words enough! Thanked Him for all, all, +everything--even for the suffering of the last two days--for had it +not made the joy all the greater? Thanked Him for their having been +alone up there at this time, and prayed Him to be with her to-morrow +when she went down to her parents, then turned her thoughts again to +Hans, and gave thanks for him once more, oh, how gratefully! + +When she came out of the soeter-house in the morning, Beret was +still sleeping. Hans was standing in the yard. He had been punishing +the dog for rousing a ptarmigan, and it was now lying fawning on him. +When he saw Mildrid he let the dog out of disgrace; it jumped up on +him and her, barked and caressed them, and was like a living +expression of their own bright morning happiness. Hans helped Mildrid +and the boys with the morning work. By the time they had done it all +and were ready to sit down to breakfast, Beret was up and ready too. +Every time Hans looked at her she turned red, and when Mildrid after +breakfast stood playing with his watch chain while she spoke to him, +Beret hurried out, and was hardly to be found when it was time for the +two to go. + +"Mildrid," said Hans, coming close to her and walking slowly, when +they had got on a little way, "I have been thinking about something +that I didn't say to you yesterday." His voice sounded so serious that +she looked up into his face. He went on slowly, without looking at +her; "I want to ask you if--God granting that we get each other--if +you will go home with me after the wedding and live at Haugen." + +She turned red, and presently answered evasively: + +"What will father and mother say to that?" + +He walked on without answering for a minute, and then said: + +"I did not think that mattered so much, if we two were agreed about +it." + +This was the first time he had said a thing that hurt her. She made +no reply. He seemed to be waiting for one, and when none came, added +gently: + +"I wanted us two to be alone together, to get accustomed to each +other." + +Now she began to understand him better, but she could not answer. He +walked on as before, not looking at her, and now quite silent. She +felt uneasy, stole a glance at him, and saw that he had turned quite +pale. + +"Hans!" she cried, and stood still without being conscious of doing +it. Hans stopped too, looked quickly at her, and then down at his gun, +which he was resting on the ground and turning in his hand. + +"Can you not go with me to my home?" His voice was very low, but all +at once he looked her straight in the face. + +"Yes, I can!" she answered quickly. Her eyes looked calmly into his, +but a faint blush came over her cheeks. He changed his gun into his +left hand, and held out the right to her. + +"Thank you!" he whispered, holding hers in a firm clasp; Then they +went on. + +She was brooding over one thought all the time, and at last could not +keep it in: "You don't know my father and mother." + +He went on a little before he answered: "No, but when you come and +live at Haugen, I'll have time then to get to know them." + +"They are so good!" added Mildrid. + +"So I have heard from every one." He said this decidedly, but coldly. + +Before she had time to think or say anything more, he began to tell +about _his_ home, his brothers and sisters, and their industry, +affectionateness, and cheerfulness; about the poverty they had raised +themselves from; about the tourists who came and all the work they +gave; about the house, and especially about the new one he would now +build for her and himself. She was to be the mistress of the whole +place--but they would help her in everything; they would all try to +make her life happy, he not least. As he talked they walked on +faster; he spoke warmly, came closer to her, and at last they walked +hand in hand. + +It could not be denied that his love for his home and his family made +a strong impression on her, and there was a great attraction in the +newness of it all; but behind this feeling lay one of wrong-doing +towards her parents, her dear, kind parents. So she began again: +"Hans! mother is getting old now, and father is older; they have had a +great deal of trouble--they need help; they've worked so hard, +and--" she either would not or could not say more. + +He walked slower and looked at her, smiling. "Mildrid, you mean that +they have settled to give you the farm?" + +She blushed, but did not answer. + +"Well, then--we'll let that alone till the time comes. When they want +us to take their places, it's for them to ask us to do it." He said +this very gently and tenderly, but she felt what it meant. Thoughtful +of others, as she always was, and accustomed to consider their +feelings before her own, she yielded in this too. But very soon they +came to where they could see Tingvold in the valley below them. She +looked down at it, and then at him, as if it could speak for itself. + +The big sunny fields on the hill slope, with the wood encircling and +sheltering them, the house and farm buildings a little in the shadow, +but big and fine--it all looked so beautiful. The valley, with its +rushing, winding river, stretched away down beyond, with farm after +farm in the bottom and on its slopes on both sides--but none, not +one to equal Tingvold--none so fertile or so pleasant to the eye, none +so snugly sheltered, and yet commanding the whole valley. When she saw +that Hans was struck by the sight, she reddened with joy. + +"Yes," he said, in answer to her unspoken question--"yes, it is true; +Tingvold is a fine place; it would be hard to find its equal." + +He smiled and bent down to her. "But I care more for you, Mildrid, +than for Tingvold; and perhaps--you care more for me than for +Tingvold?" + +When he took it this way she could say no more. He looked so happy +too; he sat down, and she beside him. + +"Now I'm going to sing something for you," he whispered. + +She felt glad. "I've never heard you sing," she said. + +"No, I know you have not; and though people talk about my singing, you +must not think it's anything very great. There's only this about it, +that it comes upon me sometimes, and then I _must_ sing." + +He sat thinking for a good while, and then he sang her the song that +he had made for their own wedding to the tune of her race's Bridal +March. Quite softly he sang it, but with such exultation as she had +never heard in any voice before. She looked down on her home, the +house she was to drive away from on that day; followed the road with +her eyes down to the bridge across the river, and along on the other +side right up to the church, which lay on a height, among birch-trees, +with a group of houses near it. It was not a very clear day, but the +subdued light over the landscape was in sympathy with the subdued +picture in her mind. How many hundred times had she not driven that +road in fancy, only she never knew with whom! The words and the tune +entranced her; the peculiar warm, soft voice seemed to touch the very +depths of her being; her eyes were full, but she was not crying; nor +was she laughing. She was sitting with her hand on his, now looking at +him, now over the valley, when she saw smoke beginning to rise from +the chimney of her home; the fire was being lit for making the dinner. +This was an omen; she turned to Hans and pointed. He had finished his +song now, and they sat still and looked. + +Very soon they were on their way down through the birch wood, and Hans +was having trouble with the dog, to make him keep quiet. Mildrid's +heart began to throb. Hans arranged with her that he would stay +behind, but near the house; it was better that she should go in first +alone. He carried her over one or two marshy places, and he felt that +her hands were cold. "Don't think of what you're to say," he +whispered; "just wait and see how things come." She gave no sound in +answer, nor did she look at him. + +They came out of the wood--the last part had been big dark fir-trees, +among which they had walked slowly, he quietly telling her about her +great-grandfather's wooing of his father's sister, Aslaug; an old, +strange story, which she only half heard, but which all the same +helped her--came out of the wood into the open fields and meadows; and +he became quiet too. Now she turned to him, and her look expressed +such a great dread of what was before her that it made him feel +wretched. He found no words of encouragement; the matter concerned him +too nearly. They walked on a little farther, side by side, some bushes +between them and the house concealing them from its inhabitants. When +they got so near that he thought she must now go on alone, he +whistled softly to the dog, and she took this as the sign that they +must part. She stopped and looked utterly unhappy and forlorn; he +whispered to her: "I'll be praying for you here, Mildrid--and I'll +come when you need me." She gave him a kind of distracted look of +thanks; she was really unable either to think or to see clearly. Then +she walked on. + +As soon as she came out from the bushes she saw right into the big +room of the main building--right through it--for it had windows at +both ends, one looking up towards the wood and one down the valley. +Hans had seated himself behind the nearest bush, with the dog at his +side, and he too could see everything in the room; at this moment +there was no one in it. Mildrid looked back once when she came to the +barn, and he nodded to her. Then she went round the end of the barn, +into the yard. + +Everything stood in its old, accustomed order, and it was very quiet. +Some hens were walking on the barn-steps. The wooden framework for +the stacks had been brought out and set up against the storehouse wall +since she was there last; that was the only change she saw. She turned +to the right to go first into grandmother's house, her fear tempting +her to take this little respite before meeting her parents; when, just +between the two houses, at the wood-block, she came on her father, +fitting a handle to an axe. He was in his knitted jersey with the +braces over it, bareheaded, his thin long hair blowing in the breeze +that was beginning to come up from the valley. He looked well, and +almost cheerful at his work, and she took courage at the sight. He did +not notice her, she had come so quietly and cautiously over the +flagstones. + +"Good morning!" she said in a low voice. + +He looked at her in surprise for a moment. + +"Is that you, Mildrid? Is there anything the matter?" he added +hastily, examining her face. + +"No," she said, and blushed a little. But he kept his eyes on hers, +and she did not dare to look up. + +Then he put down the axe, saying: + +"Let us go in to mother!" + +On the way he asked one or two questions about things up at the +soeter, and got satisfactory answers. + +"Now Hans sees us going in," thought Mildrid, as they passed a gap +between the barn and some of the smaller outhouses. + +When they got into the living-room, her father went to the door +leading into the kitchen, opened it, and called: + +"Come here, mother! Mildrid has come down." + +"Why, Mildrid, has anything gone wrong?" was answered from the +kitchen. + +"No," replied Mildrid from behind her father, and then coming to the +door herself, she went into the kitchen and stood beside her mother, +who was sitting by the hearth paring potatoes and putting them in the +pot. + +Her mother now looked as inquiringly at her as her father had done, +with the same effect. Then Randi set away the potato dish, went to +the outer door and spoke to some one there, came back again, took off +her kitchen apron and washed her hands, and they went together into +the room. + +Mildrid knew her parents, and knew that these preparations meant that +they expected something unusual. She had had little courage before, +but now it grew less. Her father took his raised seat close to the +farthest away window, the one that looked down the valley. Her mother +sat on the same bench, but nearer the kitchen. Mildrid seated herself +on the opposite one, in front of the table. Hans could see her there; +and he could see her father, right in the face, but her mother he +could hardly see. + +Her mother asked, as her father had done before, about things at the +soeter; got the same information and a little more; for she asked +more particularly. It was evident that both sides were making this +subject last as long as possible, but it was soon exhausted. In the +pause that came, both parents looked at Mildrid. She avoided the look, +and asked what news there was of the neighbours. This subject was +also drawn out as long as possible, but it came to an end too. The +same silence, the same expectant eyes turned on the daughter. There +was nothing left for her to ask about, and she began to rub her hand +back and forwards on the bench. + +"Have you been in at grandmother's?" asked her mother, who was +beginning to get frightened. + +No, she had not been there. This meant then that their daughter had +something particular to say to _them_, and it could not with any +seemliness be put off longer. + +"There is something that I must tell you," she got out at last, with +changing colour and downcast eyes. + +Her father and mother exchanged troubled looks. Mildrid raised her +head and looked at them with great imploring eyes. + +"What is it, my child?" asked her mother anxiously. + +"I am betrothed," said Mildrid; hung her head again, and burst into +tears. + +No more stunning blow could have fallen on the quiet circle. The +parents sat looking at each other, pale and silent. The steady, gentle +Mildrid, for whose careful ways and whose obedience they had so often +thanked God, had, without asking their advice, without their +knowledge, taken life's most important step, a step that was also +decisive for _their_ past and future. Mildrid felt each thought along +with them, and fear stopped her crying. + +Her father asked gently and slowly: "To whom, my child?" + +After a silence came the whispered answer: "To Hans Haugen." + +No name or event connected with Haugen had been mentioned in that room +for more than twenty years. In her parents' opinion nothing but evil +had come to Tingvold from there. Mildrid again knew their thoughts: +she sat motionless, awaiting her sentence. + +Her father spoke again mildly and slowly: "We don't know the man, +neither I nor your mother--and we didn't know that you knew him." + +"And I didn't know him either," said Mildrid. + +The astonished parents looked at each other. "How did it happen then?" +It was her mother who asked this. + +"That is what I don't know myself," said Mildrid. + +"But, my child, surely you're mistress of your own actions?" + +Mildrid did not answer. + +"We thought," added her father gently, "that we could be quite sure of +_you_." + +Mildrid did not answer. + +"But how did it happen?" repeated her mother more impatiently; "you +must know that!" + +"No, I don't know it--I only know that I could not help it--no, I +couldn't!" She was sitting holding on to the bench with both hands. + +"God forgive and help you! Whatever came over you?" + +Mildrid gave no answer. + +Her father calmed their rising excitement by saying in a gentle, +friendly voice: "Why did you not speak to one of us, my child?" + +And her mother controlled herself, and said quietly: "You know how +much we think of our children, we who have lived such a lonely life; +and--yes, we may say it, especially of you, Mildrid; for you have been +so much to us." + +Mildrid felt as if she did not know where she was. + +"Yes, we did not think you would desert us like this." + +It was her father who spoke last. Though the words came gently, they +did not hurt the less. + +"I will not desert you!" she stammered. + +"You must not say that," he answered, more gravely than before, "for +you have done it already." + +Mildrid felt that this was true, and at the same time that it was not +true, but she could not put her feeling into words. + +Her mother went on: "Of what good has it all been, the love that we +have shown our children, and the fear of God that we have taught them? +In the first temptation--" for her daughter's sake she could say no +more. + +But Mildrid could bear it no longer. She threw her arms over the +table, laid her head on them, her face towards her father, and sobbed. + +Neither father nor mother was capable of adding by another reproachful +word to the remorse she seemed to feel. So there was silence. + +It might have lasted long--but Hans Haugen saw from where he sat that +she was in need of help. His hunter's eye had caught every look, seen +the movement of their lips, seen her silent struggle; now he saw her +throw herself on the table, and he jumped up, and soon his light foot +was heard in the passage. He knocked; they all looked up, but no one +said, "Come in!" Mildrid half rose, blushing through her tears; the +door opened, and Hans with his gun and dog stood there, pale but quite +composed. He turned and shut the door, while the dog, wagging its +tail, went up to Mildrid. Hans had been too preoccupied to notice that +it had followed him in. + +"Good morning!" said he. Mildrid fell back on her seat, drew a long +breath, and looked at him with relief in her eyes; her fear, her bad +conscience--all gone! _She was right, yes; she was right_--let come +now whatever it pleased God to send! + +No one had answered Hans's greeting, nor had he been asked to come +forward. + +"I am Hans Haugen," he said quietly; lowered his gun and stood holding +it. After the parents had exchanged looks once or twice, he went on, +but with a struggle: "I came down with Mildrid, for if she has done +wrong, it was my fault." + +Something had to be said. The mother looked at the father, and at last +he said that all this had happened without their knowing anything of +it, and that Mildrid could give them no explanation of how it had come +about. Hans answered that neither could he. "I am not a boy," he said, +"for I am twenty-eight; but yet it came this way, that I, who never +cared for any one before, could think of nothing else in the world +from the time I saw her. If she had said No--well, I can't tell--but I +shouldn't have been good for much after that." + +The quiet, straightforward way he said this made a good impression. +Mildrid trembled; for she felt that this gave things a different look. +Hans had his cap on, for in their district it was not the custom for a +passer-by to take off his hat when he came in; but now he took it off +unconsciously, hung it on the barrel of his gun, and crossed his hands +over it. There was something about his whole appearance and behaviour +that claimed consideration. + +"Mildrid is so young," said her mother; "none of us had thought of +anything like this beginning with her already." + +"That is true enough, but to make up I am so much older," he answered; +"and the housekeeping at home, in my house, is no great affair; it +will not task her too hard--and I have plenty of help." + +The parents looked at each other, at Mildrid, at him. "Do you mean her +to go home with you?" the father asked incredulously, almost +ironically. + +"Yes," said Hans; "it is not the farm that I am coming after." He +reddened, and so did Mildrid. + +If the farm had sunk into the ground the parents could not have been +more astonished than they were at hearing it thus despised, and +Mildrid's silence showed that she agreed with Hans. There was +something in this resolution of the young people, unintentional on +their part, that, as it were, took away from the parents the right of +decision; they felt themselves humbled. + +"And it was you who said that you would not forsake us," said her +mother in quiet reproach, that went to Mildrid's heart. But Hans came +to her assistance: + +"Every child that marries has to leave its parents." + +He smiled, and added in a friendly way: "But it's not a long journey +to Haugen from here--just a little over four miles." + +Words are idle things at a time like this; thoughts take their own way +in spite of them. The parents felt themselves deserted, almost +deceived by the young ones. They knew that there was no fault to be +found with the way of living at Haugen; the tourists had given the +place a good name; from time to time it had been noticed in the +newspapers; but Haugen was Haugen, and that their dearest child should +wish to carry their race back to Haugen was more than they could bear! +In such circumstances most people would likely have been angry, but +what these two desired was to get quietly away from what pained them. +They exchanged a look of understanding, and the father said mildly: + +"This is too much for us all at once; we can't well give our answer +yet." + +"No," continued the mother; "we were not expecting such great +news--nor to get it like this." + +Hans stood quiet for a minute before he said: + +"It is true enough that Mildrid should first have asked her parents' +leave. But remember that neither of us knew what was happening till it +was too late. For that is really the truth. Then we could do no more +than come at once, both of us, and that we have done. You must not be +too hard on us." + +This left really nothing more to be said about their behaviour, and +Hans's quiet manner made his words sound all the more trustworthy. +Altogether Endrid felt that he was not holding his own against him, +and the little confidence he had in himself made him the more desirous +to get away. + +"We do not know you," he said, and looked at his wife. "We must be +allowed to think it over." + +"Yes, that will certainly be best," went on Randi; "we ought to know +something about the man we are to give our child to." + +Mildrid felt the offence there was in these words, but looked +imploringly at Hans. + +"That is true," answered Hans, beginning to turn his gun under the one +hand; "although I don't believe there are many men in the district +much better known than I am. But perhaps some one has spoken ill of +me?" He looked up to them. + +Mildrid sat there feeling ashamed on her parents' account, and they +themselves felt that they had perhaps awakened a false suspicion, and +this they had no desire to do. So both said at once: + +"No, we have heard nothing bad of you." + +And the mother hastened to add that it was really the case that they +hardly knew anything about him, for they had so seldom asked about the +Haugen people. She meant no harm at all by saying this, and not till +the words had passed her lips, did she notice that she had expressed +herself unfortunately, and she could see that both her husband and +Mildrid felt the same. It was a little time before the answer came: + +"If the family of Tingvold have never asked after the Haugen people, +the fault is not ours; we have been poor people till these last +years." + +In these few words lay a reproach that was felt by all three to be +deserved, and that thoroughly. But never till now had it occurred to +either husband or wife that they had been in this case neglecting a +duty; never till now had they reflected that their poor relations at +Haugen should not have been made to suffer for misfortunes of which +they had been in no way the cause. They stole an awkward glance at +each other, and sat still, feeling real shame. Hans had spoken +quietly, though Randi's words must have been very irritating to him. +This made both the old people feel that he was a fine fellow, and that +they had two wrongs to make good again. Thus it came about that Endrid +said: + +"Let us take time and think things over; can't you stay here and have +dinner with us? Then we can talk a little." + +And Randi added: "Come away here and sit down." + +Both of them rose. + +Hans set away the gun with his cap on it, and went forward to the +bench on which Mildrid was sitting, whereupon she at once got up, she +did not know why. Her mother said she had things to see to in the +kitchen, and went out. Her father was preparing to go too; but Mildrid +did not wish to be alone with Hans as long as her parents withheld +their consent, so she went towards the other door, and they presently +saw her crossing the yard to her grandmother's house. As Endrid could +not leave Hans alone, he turned and sat down again. + +The two men talked together about indifferent matters--first it was +about the hunting, about the Haugen brothers' arrangements in the +little summer huts they had high up on the mountains, about the +profits they made by this sort of thing, &c. &c. From this they came +to Haugen itself, and the tourists, and the farm management; and from +all he heard Endrid got the impression of there being prosperity there +now, and plenty of life. Randi came backwards and forwards, making +preparations for the dinner, and often listened to what was being +said; and it was easy to see that the two old people, at first so shy +of Hans, became by degrees a little surer of him; for the questions +began to be more personal. + +They did not fail to observe his good manners at the dinner-table. He +sat with his back to the wall, opposite Mildrid and her mother; the +father sat at the end of the table on his high seat. The farm people +had dined earlier, in the kitchen, where indeed all in the house +generally took their meals together. They were making the difference +to-day because they were unwilling that Hans should be seen. Mildrid +felt at table that her mother looked at her whenever Hans smiled. He +had one of those serious faces that grow very pleasant when they +smile. One or two such things Mildrid added together in her mind, and +brought them to the sum she wanted to arrive at. Only she did not feel +herself so sure, but that the strain in the room was too great for +her, and she was glad enough to escape from it by going after dinner +again to her grandmother's. + +The men took a walk about the farm, but they neither went where the +people were working, nor where grandmother could see them. Afterwards +they came and sat in the room again, and now mother had finished her +work and could sit with them. By degrees the conversation naturally +became more confidential, and in course of time (but this was not till +towards evening) Randi ventured to ask Hans how it had all come about +between him and Mildrid; Mildrid herself had been able to give no +account of it. Possibly it was principally out of feminine curiosity +that the mother asked, but the question was a very welcome one to +Hans. + +He described everything minutely, and with such evident happiness, +that the old people were almost at once carried away by his story. And +when he came to yesterday--to the forced march Beret had made in +search of him because Mildrid was plunged in anguish of mind on her +parents' account--and then came to Mildrid herself, and told of her +ever-increasing remorse because her parents knew nothing; told of her +flight down to them, and how, worn-out in soul and body, she had had +to sit down and rest and had fallen asleep, alone and unhappy--then +the old people felt that they recognised their child again. And the +mother especially began to feel that she had perhaps been too hard +with her. + +While the young man was telling about Mildrid, he was telling too, +without being aware of it, about himself; for his love to Mildrid +showed clearly in every word, and made her parents glad. He felt this +himself at last, and was glad too--and the old couple, unaccustomed to +such quiet self-reliance and strength, felt real happiness. This went +on increasing, till the mother at last, without thinking, said +smilingly: + +"I suppose you've arranged everything right up to the wedding, you +two--before asking either of us?" + +The father laughed too, and Hans answered, just as it occurred to him +at the moment, by softly singing a single line of the Wedding March, + + "Play away! speed us on! we're in haste, I and you!" + +and laughed; but was modest enough at once to turn to something else. +He happened accidentally to look at Randi, and saw that she was quite +pale. He felt in an instant that he had made a mistake in recalling +that tune to her. Endrid looked apprehensively at his wife, whose +emotion grew till it became so strong that she could not stay in the +room; she got up and went out. + +"I know I have done something wrong," said Hans anxiously. + +Endrid made no reply. Hans, feeling very unhappy, got up to go after +Randi and excuse himself, but sat down again, declaring that he had +meant no harm at all. + +"No, you could hardly be expected to understand rightly about that," +said Endrid. + +"Can't _you_ go after her and put it right again!" + +He had already such confidence in this man that he dared ask him +anything. + +But Endrid said: "No; rather leave her alone just now; I know her." + +Hans, who a few minutes before had felt himself at the very goal of +his desires, now felt himself cast into the depths of despair, and +would not be cheered up, though Endrid strove patiently to do it. The +dog helped by coming forward to them; for Endrid went on asking +questions about him, and afterwards told with real pleasure about a +dog he himself had had, and had taken much interest in, as is +generally the way with people leading a lonely life. + +Randi had gone out and sat down on the doorstep. The thought of her +daughter's marriage and the sound of the Bridal March together had +stirred up old memories too painfully. _She_ had not, like her +daughter, given herself willingly to a man she loved! The shame of her +wedding-day had been deserved; and that shame, and the trouble, and +the loss of their children--all the suffering and struggle of years +came over her again. + +And so all her Bible-reading and all her praying had been of no avail! +She sat there in the most violent agitation! Her grief that she could +thus be overcome caused her in despair to begin the bitterest +self-accusation. Again she felt the scorn of the crowd at her foolish +bridal procession; again she loathed herself for her own +weakness--that she could not stop her crying then, nor her thinking +of it now--that with her want of self-control she had cast undeserved +suspicion on her parents, destroyed her own health and through this +caused the death of the children she bore, and lastly that with all +this she had embittered the life of a loving husband, and feigned a +piety that was not real, as her present behaviour clearly showed! + +How dreadful that she still felt it in this way--that she had got no +farther! + +Then it burst upon her--both her crying in church and the consuming +bitterness that had spoiled the early years of her married life had +been _wounded vanity_. It was wounded vanity that was weeping now; and +that might at any moment separate her from God, her happiness in this +world and the world to come! + +So worthless, so worthless did she feel herself that she dared not +look up to God; for oh! how great were her shortcomings towards Him! +But why, she began to wonder, why had she succumbed just now--at the +moment when her daughter, in all true-heartedness and overflowing +happiness, had given herself to the man she loved? Why at this moment +arouse all the ugly memories and thoughts that lay dormant in her +mind? Was she envious of Mildrid; envious of her own daughter? No, +_that_ she knew she was not--and she began to recover herself. + +What a grand thought it was that her daughter was perhaps going to +atone for _her_ fault! Could children do that? Yes, as surely as they +themselves were a work of ours, they could--but we must help too, with +repentance, with gratitude! And before Randi knew what was happening, +she could pray again, bowing in deep humility and contrition before +the Lord, who had once more shown her what she was without Him. She +prayed for grace as one that prays for life; for she felt that it was +life that was coming to her again! Now her account was blotted out; it +was just the last settling of it that had unnerved her. + +She rose and looked up through streaming tears; she knew that things +had come right now; there was One who had lifted the burden of pain +from her! + +Had she not had the same feeling often before? No, never a feeling +like this--not till now was the victory won. And she went forward +knowing that she had gained the mastery over herself. Something was +broken that till now had bound her--she felt with every movement that +she was free both in soul and body. And if, after God, she had her +daughter to thank for this, that daughter should in return be helped +to enjoy her own happiness to the full. + +By this time she was in the passage of grandmother's house; but no one +in the house recognised her step. She took hold of the latch and +opened the door like a different person. "Mildrid, come here!" she +said; and Mildrid and her grandmother looked at each other, for that +was not mother. Mildrid ran to her. What could be happening? Her +mother took her by the arm, shut the door behind her, so that they +were alone, then threw her arms round her neck, and wept and wept, +embracing her with a vehemence and happiness which Mildrid, uplifted +by her love, could return right heartily. + +"God for ever bless and recompense you!" whispered the mother. + +The two sitting in the other house saw them coming across the yard, +hand in hand, walking so fast that they felt sure something had +happened. The door opened and both came forward. But instead of giving +her to Hans, or saying anything to him or Endrid, the mother just put +her arms once more round her daughter, and repeated with a fresh burst +of emotion: "God for ever bless and reward you!" + +Soon they were all sitting in grandmother's room. The old woman was +very happy. She knew quite well who Hans Haugen was--the young people +had often spoken about him; and she at once understood that this union +wiped out, as it were, much that was painful in the life of her son +and his wife. Besides, Hans's good looks rejoiced the cheery old +woman's heart. They all stayed with her, and the day ended with +father, after a psalm, reading from a prayer-book a portion beginning: +"The Lord has been in our house!" + + * * * * * + +I shall only tell of two days in their life after this, and in each of +these days only of a few minutes. + +The first is the young people's wedding-day. Inga, Mildrid's cousin, +herself a married woman now, had come to deck out the bride. This was +done in the store-house. The old chest which held the family's bridal +silver ornaments--crown, girdle, stomacher, brooches, rings--was drawn +from its place. Grandmother had the key of it, and came to open it, +Beret acting as her assistant. Mildrid had put on her wedding-dress +and all the ornaments that belonged to herself, before this grandeur +(well polished by Beret and grandmother the week before) came to +light, glittering and heavy. One after another each ornament was +tried. Beret held the mirror in front of the bride. Grandmother told +how many of her family had worn these silver things on their +wedding-day, the happiest of them all her own mother, Aslaug Haugen. + +Presently they heard the Bridal March played outside; they all +stopped, listened, and then hurried to the door to see what it meant. +The first person they saw was Endrid, the bride's father. He had seen +Hans Haugen with his brothers and sisters coming driving up the road +to the farm. It was not often that any idea out of the common came to +Endrid, but on this occasion it did occur to him that these guests +ought to be received with the March of their race. He called out the +fiddlers and started them; he was standing beside them himself, and +some others had joined him, when Hans and his good brothers and +sisters, in two carriages, drove into the yard. It was easily seen +that this reception touched them. + +An hour later the March of course struck up again. This was when the +bride and bridegroom, and after them the bride's parents, came out, +with the players going before them, to get into the carriages. At some +great moments in our lives all the omens are propitious; to-day the +bridal party drove away from Tingvold in glorious spring weather. The +crowd at the church was so great that no one remembered having seen +the like of it, on any occasion. And in this gathering each person +knew the story of the family, and its connection with the Bridal March +which was sounding exultantly in the sunshine over the heads of bride +and bridegroom. + +And because they were all thinking of the one thing, the pastor took a +text for his address that allowed him to explain how our children are +our life's crown, bearing clear witness to our honour, our +development, our work. + +On the way back from the altar Hans stopped just outside the +church-door; he said something; the bride, in her superhuman +happiness, did not hear it; but she felt what it was. He wished her to +look at Ole Haugen's grave, how richly clad in flowers it lay to-day. +She looked, and they passed out almost touching his headstone; the +parents following them. + +The other incident in their life that must be recalled is the visit of +Endrid and Randi as grandparents. Hans had carried out his +determination that they were to live at Haugen, although he had to +promise that he would take Tingvold when the old people either could +or would no longer manage it, and when the old grandmother was dead. +But in their whole visit there is only one single thing that concerns +us here, and that is that Randi, after a kind reception and good +entertainment, when she was sitting with her daughter's child on her +knee, began rocking it and crooning something--and what she crooned +was the Bridal March. Her daughter clasped her hands in wonder and +delight, but controlled herself at once and kept silence; Hans offered +Endrid more to drink, which he declined; but this was on both sides +only an excuse for exchanging a look. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote 1: The old superstition that every man is followed by a +"Vardöger" (an invisible animal, resembling him in character) is still +common among the peasants.] + + + + +ONE DAY + + +CHAPTER I + +Ella was generally known as the girl with the plait. But, thick as the +plait was, if it had belonged to any one less shapely, less blonde, +less sprightly, hardly any one would have noticed it; the merry life +which it led behind her would have passed unobserved, and that, +although it was the thickest plait which any one in the little town +had ever boasted. Perhaps it looked even thicker than it really was, +because Ella herself was little. It is not necessary to give its exact +length, but it reached below her waist; a long way below it. Its +colour was doubtful but inclined a little to red, though people in the +town generally called it light, and we will accept their dictum +without going into the question of half-tones. Her face was noticeable +for its white skin, pretty shape, and classic profile; she had a +small, full mouth, and eyes of unusual frankness, a trim little +figure, but with rather short legs, so that in order to get over the +ground as fast as it was her nature to do, her feet had to move very +quickly. She was quick, indeed, in everything which she undertook, and +that no doubt was why the plait was busier than plaits are wont to be. + +Her mother was the widow of a government official, had a small fortune +besides her pension, and lived in her own little house opposite the +hotel close by the market. She was an unassuming woman, whose husband +had influenced her in everything; he had been her pride, her light, +and when she lost him, the object of her life was gone; she became +absorbed in religion; but, as she was not dictatorial, she allowed her +only child--who much resembled her father--to follow her own +inclinations. The mother associated with no one except an elder +sister, who owned a large farm near the town, but Ella was allowed to +bring in her companions from school, boating, skating, and +snow-shoeing; this, however, made no difference, for there was an +instinctive prudence in her choice of friends; her liveliness was +tempered by her mother's society and the quietness of the house. So +that she was active and expeditious without being noisy, frank enough, +but with self-command and heedfulness. + +All the more strange, then, was an incident which occurred when she +was between fourteen and fifteen. She had gone with a few friends to a +concert which the Choral Society of the town, and one or two amateurs, +were giving in aid of the Christmas charities. At this concert, Aksel +Aarö sang Möhring's "Sleep in Peace." As every one knows, a subdued +chorus carries the song forward; a flood of moonlight seemed to +envelop it, and through it swept Aksel Aarö's voice. His voice was a +clear, full, deep baritone, from which every one derived great +pleasure. He could have drawn it out, without break or flaw, from +here to Vienna. But within this voice Ella heard another, a +simultaneous sound of weakness or pain, which she never doubted that +everybody could hear. There was an emotion in its depths, an affecting +confidence, which went to her heart; it seemed to say, "Sorrow, sorrow +is the portion of my life; I cannot help myself, I am lost." Before +she herself knew it, she was weeping bitterly. Anything more +impressive than this voice she had never experienced. With every note +her agitation increased, and she lost all control over herself. + +Aarö was of moderate height, and slender, with a fair, silky beard, +which hung down over his chest; his head was small, his eyes large and +melancholy, with something in their depths which, like the voice, +seemed to say "Sorrow, sorrow." This melancholy in the eyes she had +noticed before, but had not fully understood it until now, when she +heard his voice. Her tears would flow. But this would not do. She +glanced quickly round; no one else was crying. She set her teeth, she +pressed her arms against her sides, and her knees together till they +ached and trembled. Why in the world should this happen to her and to +no one else? She put her handkerchief to her lips, and forced herself +to think of the beam of light which she had seen flash out from the +lighthouse and disappear again, leaving the sea ghostly in the +darkness. But no! her thoughts would return; they would not be +controlled. Nothing could check the first sob, it would break out. +Before all the astonished eyes she rose, left her seat, slipped +quietly from the room and got away. No one came with her; no one dared +to be seen near her. + +You who read this, do you realise how dreadful it was? Have you been +to such a--I had nearly written _silent_--concert, in a Norwegian +coast town of somewhat pietist savour? Hardly any men are present. +Either music is not to the masculine taste in the coast towns, or they +are in some other part of the club, at billiards, or cards, or in the +restaurant drinking punch, or reading the papers. Two or three perhaps +have come up for a moment, and stand near the door, stand like those +to whom the house belongs, and who wish to have a look at the +strangers; or there really are one or two men sitting on the benches, +squeezed in among the many coloured dresses, or else a few specimens +are seen round the walls, like forgotten overcoats. + +No! those who gather at the concerts are from the harems of the place; +their elder inhabitants come to dream again, amidst beautiful words +and touching music, of what they once persuaded themselves that they +were, and what they had once believed was awaiting them. It is a +harmless passing amusement. In the main they are better understood up +above than here below, so that if a whiff of the kitchen or a few +household worries do find their way into the dreams, it does not +disturb them. The younger denizens of the harems dream that they _are_ +what the elders once believed themselves, and that _they_ will attain +at least to something of what the eldest have never reached. _They_ +had gained some information about life. In one thing old and young +resemble each other; they are practical and prosperous by descent. +They never allow their thoughts to stray very far. They know quite +well that the glow which they feel as they listen to the words and +music of great minds is not to be taken too seriously; it is only +"What one always feels, you know." + +When, therefore, one among them took this really seriously and began +to cry about it, good gracious! In private it was called "foolery," in +public "scandalous." + +Ella had made a spectacle of herself. Her own dismay was immeasurable. +No girl that she knew was less given to tears than herself; that she +was certain of. She had as great a dread as any one of being looked +at, or talked about. What in the world was it then? She was fond of +music, certainly; she played herself, but she did not believe that she +had any remarkable gift. Why, then, should she especially have been +overcome by his song? What must he think of the silly girl? This +thought troubled her most, and on this point she dare not confide in +any one. Most people concluded that she had been ill, and she actually +did keep indoors for a few days, and looked pale when she reappeared. +Her friends teased her about it, but she let the matter drop. + +In the winter there were several children's dances, one of which was +at "Andresen's at the corner," and Ella was there. Just at the +conclusion of the second quadrille, she heard whispered "Aksel Aarö, +Aksel Aarö!" and there he stood at the door, with three other young +fellows behind him. The hostess was his elder sister. The four had +come up from a card party to look on. + +Ella felt a thrill of delight, and at the same time her knees +threatened to give way under her. She could neither see, nor +understand clearly, but she felt great eyes on her. She was engrossed +in a fold of her dress which did not hang properly, when he stood +before her and said, "What a beautiful plait you have." His voice +seemed to sprinkle it with gold-dust. He put out his hand as though he +were going to touch it, but instead of doing so he stroked his beard. +When he noticed her extreme timidity, he turned away. Several times +during the evening she felt conscious of his presence; but he did not +come up to her again. + +The other men took part in the dancing, but Aarö did not dance. There +was something about him which she thought specially charming; a +reserved air of distinction, a polish in his address, a deference of +that quiet kind which alone could have appealed to her. His walk gave +the impression that he kept half his strength in reserve, and this was +the same in everything. He was tall, but not broad-shouldered; the +small, somewhat narrow head, set on a rather long neck. She had never +before noticed the way in which he turned his head. She felt now that +there could be something, yes, almost musical about it. + +The room, and all that passed in it, seemed to float in light, but +suddenly this light was gone. A little later she heard some one say, +"Where is Aksel Aarö? Has he left?" + +Aarö was not at home for very long that winter. He had already spent +two years at Havre, from which place he had recently returned; he was +now going for a couple of years to Hull. Before this, music had been a +favourite pursuit with Ella; she had especially loved and studied +harmony, but from this time forward she devoted herself to melody. All +music had given her pleasure and she had made some progress in it; but +now it became speech to her. She herself spoke in it or another spoke +to her. Now, whoever she was with, there was always one as well, she +was never alone now, not in the street, not at home; of this the plait +was the sacred symbol. + +In the course of the spring Fru Holmbo met Ella in the street as she +was coming from the pastor's house with her prayer-book in her hand. + +"Are you going to be confirmed?" asked Fru Holmbo. + +"Yes." + +"I have a message for you; can you guess from whom?" + +Now, Fru Holmbo was a friend of Aksel Aarö's sister and very intimate +with the family. Ella blushed and could not answer. + +"I see that you know who it is from," said Fru Holmbo, and Ella +blushed more than ever. + +With a rather superior smile--and the prettiest lady in the town had a +superabundance of them--she said, "Aksel Aarö is not fond of writing. +We have only just received his first letter since he left; but in it +he writes that when we see 'the girl with the plait,' we are to +remember him to her.' She cried at Möhring's song; other people might +have done so too,'" he wrote. + +The tears sprang to Ella's eyes. + +"No, no," said Fru Holmbo consolingly, "there is no harm in that." + + +CHAPTER II + +Two years later, in the course of the winter, Ella was coming quickly +up from the ice with her skates in her hand. She wore her new +tight-fitting jacket for the first time; in fact, it was principally +this jacket which had tempted her out. The plait hung jauntily down +from under her grey cap. It was longer and thicker than ever; it +throve wonderfully. + +As usual, she went round by "Andresen's at the corner." To see the +house was enough. Just as her eyes rested on it, Aksel Aarö appeared +in the doorway. He came slowly down the steps. He was at home again! +His fair beard lay on the dark fur of his coat, a fur cap covered his +low forehead and came down almost to his eyes; those large, attractive +eyes. They looked at one another; they had to meet and pass; he +smiled as he raised his cap, and she--stood still and curtseyed, like +a schoolgirl in a short frock. For two years she had not dropped a +curtsey, or done otherwise than bow like a grown-up person. Short +people are most particular about this privilege; but to him, before +whom she specially wished to appear grown-up, she had stood still and +curtseyed as when he had last seen her. Occupied by this mishap she +rushed into another. She said to herself, "Do not look round, keep +yourself stiff, do not look round; do you hear?" But at the corner, +just as she was turning away from him, she did look back for all that, +and saw him do the same. From that moment there were no other people, +no houses, no time or place. She did not know how she got home, or why +she lay crying on her bed, with her face in the pillow. + +A fortnight later, there was a large party at the club, in honour of +Aksel Aarö. Every one wished to be there, every one wished to bid +their popular friend welcome home. He had been greatly missed. They +had heard from Hull how indispensable he had by degrees become in +society there. If his voice had had a greater compass--it did not +comprise a large range of notes--he would have obtained an engagement +at Her Majesty's Theatre; so it was said over there. At this ball, the +Choral Society--his old Choral Society--would again sing with him. + +Ella was there; she came too early--only four people before her. She +trembled with expectancy in the empty rooms and passages, but more +especially in the hall where she had made "a spectacle of herself." +She wore a red ball-dress, without any ornaments or flowers; this was +by her mother's wish. She feared that she had betrayed herself by +coming so early, and remained alone in a side room; she did not appear +until the rooms had been fully lighted, and the perfume, the buzz of +voices, and the tuning of instruments lured her in. Ella was so short, +that when she came into the crowd, she had not seen Aksel Aarö when +she heard several whispers of "There he is," and some one added, "He +is coming towards us." It was Fru Holmbo for whom he was looking, and +to whom he bowed; but just behind her stood Ella. When she felt that +she was discovered, the bud blushed rosier than its calyx. He left Fru +Holmbo at once. + +"Good evening," he said very softly, holding out his hand, which Ella +took without looking up. "Good evening," he said again, still more +softly, and drew nearer. + +She was aware of a gentle pressure and had to raise her eyes. They +conveyed a bashful message half confident, half timid. It was a rapid +glance, by which no one was enlightened or scandalised. He looked down +at her, while he stroked his beard, but either because he had nothing +more to say--he was not talkative--or that he could not say what he +wished; he became absolutely silent. In the quiet way which was +peculiar to him he turned and left her. He was on at once by his +friends, and for the rest of the evening she only saw him now and +again, and always at a distance. + +He did not dance, but she did. Everybody said how "sweet" she was (it +was said with all respect); and that evening she really did beam with +happiness. In whatever part of the room Aksel Aarö chanced to be, she +felt conscious of his presence, felt a secret delight in whirling past +him. His eyes followed her, his nearness made all and everything +resplendent. + +Standing in the doorway was a heavy, sturdy fellow, who had +constituted himself the critic of the assemblage. He appeared to be +between thirty and forty; nearer the latter; he had a weather-beaten, +coarsely-moulded, but spirited face, black hair, and hazel eyes; his +figure approached the gigantic. Every one in the room knew him; +Hjalmar Olsen, the fearless commander of one of the largest steamers. + +He scanned the dancers as they passed him, but gave the palm to the +little one in the red dress; she was the pleasantest to look at: not +only was she a fine girl, but her buoyant happiness seemed to infect +him. When Aksel Aarö approached, Hjalmar Olsen received a share of the +love glances which streamed from her eyes. She danced every dance. +Hjalmar Olsen was tall enough to catch glimpses of her in all parts of +the room. She also noticed him; he soon became a lighthouse in her +voyage, but a lighthouse which interested itself in the ships. Thus he +now felt that she was in danger so near to Peter Klausson's waistcoat. +He knew Peter Klausson. + +Her tiny feet tripped a waltz, while the plait kept up an accompanying +polka. Certainly Peter Klausson did press her too close to his +waistcoat! + +Olsen therefore sought her out as soon as the waltz was over, but it +was not so easy to secure a dance; a waltz was the first one for which +she was free, and she gave him that. Just as this was arranged, every +one pressed towards the platform, on which the Choral Society now +appeared. Ella felt herself hopelessly little when they all rushed +forward and packed themselves together. Hjalmar Olsen, who saw her +vain attempts to obtain a peep, offered to lift her up on to the bench +which ran along the wall, by which they were standing. She dare not +agree to this, but he saw that others were mounting the bench, and +before she could prevent it, she was up there too. Almost at the same +moment Aksel Aarö came in among his companions and was received with +the most energetic hand-clapping by all his friends--men as well as +women. He bowed politely though somewhat coldly, but the expressions +of welcome did not cease until his companions drew back a little, +while he came forward. First of all, the Society gave one of its older +songs. He kept his voice on a level with the others, which was +considered in very good taste. After this the conductor took his seat +at the piano, to accompany a song which Aarö wished to give alone. The +song was a composition of Selmer and much in fashion at the capital. +It could be sung by men as well as women, only in the last verse _her_ +had to be substituted for _his_. Here it had never been heard before. + +During the first song Aarö had searched the room with his eyes, and, +from the moment when he discovered where Ella stood, he had kept them +fixed there. Now he placed himself near the piano, and during the song +he continued to look in her direction. As he sang, his melancholy eyes +lighted up; his figure grew plastic. + + I sing to one, to only one + Of all the listening throng; + To one alone is fully known + The meaning of my song. + Lend power, ye listeners, to each word. + But for that only one + Who in me woke sweet music's chord + My song had ne'er been sung. + + Though deviously the path may run, + Passing through all hearts here, + Yet still is it the only one + Which to one heart is near. + Strengthen, oh, loving hearts, my song, + So that it still may swell + Through all love's choir; the only one + That in her heart may dwell. + +His voice was captivating; no one had ever listened to such a +love-message. This time many beside Ella had tears in their eyes. +When the song ended, they all remained waiting for some moments, as +though expecting another verse; and there was a short silence, but +then applause broke forth such as had never been heard. They wanted to +have the song again, but no one had yet known Aksel Aarö to sing +anything twice running; so they relinquished the idea. + +Ella had never heard the song; neither words nor music. When, with his +eyes turned in her direction, he had begun to sing, she felt as though +she should fall; such unheard-of boldness she had never imagined. That +he, otherwise so considerate, should sing this across to her, so that +all could hear! White as the wall against which she leaned for +support, she suffered such anguish of mind, that she looked round for +help. Immediately behind her, on the same bench, stood Fru Holmbo, +magnetised, beautiful as a statue. She no more saw Ella's distress +than she did the clock in the market-place. This absolute indifference +calmed her, she recovered her self-possession. The neighbourhood of +the others, which had been so terrible to her, was of no consequence, +so long as they did not perceive anything. She could listen now +without distress. More covertly, more charmingly, he could not have +spoken, notwithstanding that every one heard it. If only he had not +looked at her! If only she had been able to hide herself! + +As soon as the last notes ceased, she jumped down from the bench. +Among all the shoulders her shyness returned--her happy dream, her +secret in its bridal attire. What was it that had happened? What would +happen next? All round her were sparkling eyes, applauding voices, +clapping hands--was it not as though they lighted torches in his +honour, paid him homage--was not all this in her honour as well? + +Dancing began again at once, and off she went. Off as though all were +done for her, or as though she were the "only one!" Her partners +tried, one after another, to talk to her, but in vain. She only +laughed, laughed in their faces, as though they were mad, and she +alone understood the state of the case. + +She danced, beamed, laughed, from one partner to another. So when +Olsen got his waltz it was as though he were received with a score of +fresh bouquets and a "Long live Hjalmar Olsen!" He was more than +flattered. When she laid her white arm on his black coat he felt that +at the bottom he was as unworthy as Peter Klausson. He certainly would +not sully her, he held her punctiliously away from him. When he +fancied that she was laughing, and wished to see the little creature's +merry face, down there near his waistcoat, and in the endeavour to do +so, thought that he had been indiscreet, Hjalmar Olsen felt ashamed of +himself, and danced on with his eyes staring straight before him, like +a sleep-walker. He danced on in a dream of self-satisfaction and +transport. Ella tried now and then to touch the floor; she wished to +have at least some certainty that she was keeping time. Impossible! He +took charge at once, of himself, her dance and his, her time and his, +she never got near the floor without an effort, all the rest was an +aerial flight. He could hear her laughing and was pleased that she +was enjoying it, but he did not look at her. Those with whom he came +into collision were less pleased, which was _their_ affair. He was +greatly put out when the music ceased; they were only just getting +into swing, but he was obliged to put her down at the compulsory +stopping-place. + +Shortly afterwards there was some more singing, first by the Society +alone, then they and Aarö together sang Grieg's "Landfall." Finally, +Aarö sang to a piano accompaniment. This time Ella had hidden herself +among those at the back, but as they constantly pressed forward she +remained standing alone. This exactly suited her; she saw him, but he +did not see her, nor even look towards the place where she was +standing. + +She had never heard this song, did not even know that it existed, +although when the first words were heard it was evident that it was +known to the others. Of course she knew that each word and note were +his, but as he had before chosen a story which would only reach the +one to whom he wished to sing, she did not doubt that it was the same +now. The first words, "My young love's veiled," could there be a truer +picture of concealed love? Once more it was for her! That the veil +should be lifted but for him and dropped as soon as any one else could +see. Was not that as it must be between them? That love's secrecy is +like a sacred place, that in it is hidden earth's highest happiness. +She trembled as she recognised it. The music swept the words over her +like ice-cold water, this perfect comprehension made her shiver, with +fear and joy at the same time. No one saw her, that was her safeguard. +She dreaded every fresh word before it came, and each one again made +her shiver. With her arms pressed against her breast, her head bowed +over her hands, she stood and trembled as though waves surged over +her. And when the second verse came with the line, "The greatest joy +this world can give," and especially when it was repeated, her tears +would well forth, as they had done once before. She checked them with +all her might, but remembering how little it had helped her then, her +powers of resistance gave way, she was almost sobbing when the very +word was used in the song. The coincidence was too superb, it swept +all emotion aside, she could have laughed aloud instead. She was sure +of everything, everything now. It thus happened that the last line in +its literal sense, in its jubilant sympathy, came to her like a flash +of lightning, like the stab of a knife. The song ran thus: + + My young love's veiled to all but me, + No eyes save mine those eyes may see, + Which, while to others all unknown, + Command, melt, beam for me alone. + Down falls the veil, would others see. + + In every good, where two are one, + A twofold holiness doth reign; + The greatest joy this world can give + Is when earth's long desires shall live, + When two as soul to soul are born again. + + Why must my love then veiled be? + Why sobs she piteous, silently, + As though her heart must break for love? + Because that veil from pain is wove, + And all our joy in yearning need we see. + +Startling, deafening applause! They must, they would have the song +again, this time Aarö's haughty opposition should be useless; but he +would not give way, and at last some of the audience gave up the +attempt, though others continued insistent. + +During this interval several ladies escaped out of the crowd: they +passed near Ella. + +"Did you see Fru Holmbo, how she hid herself and cried?" + +"Yes, but did you see her during the first song? Up on the bench? It +was to her that he was singing the whole time." + +Not long afterwards--it might have been about two in the morning--a +little cloaked figure flew along the streets. By her hood and wraps +the watchman judged that she must be one of the ladies from the ball. +They generally had some one with them, but the ball was not over yet. +Something had evidently happened; she was going so quickly too. + +It was Ella. She passed near the deserted Town Hall, which was now +used as a warehouse. The outer walls still remained, but the beautiful +interior wood-work had been sold and removed. That is how it is with +me, thought Ella. She flew along as fast as she could, onward to +sleepless nights and joyless days. + +In the course of the morning Aksel Aarö was carried home by his +companions, dead drunk. By some it was maintained that he had +swallowed a tumbler of whisky in the belief that it was beer; others +said that he was a "bout drinker." He had long been so but had +concealed it. Those are called "bout-drinkers" who at long intervals +seem impelled to drink. His father had been so before him. + +A few days later Aksel Aarö went quietly off to America. + + +CHAPTER III + +Another of those who had been at the ball, steamed about the same time +across the Atlantic. This was Hjalmar Olsen. + +His ship experienced a continuous northwesterly gale, and the harder +it blew, the more grog he drank; but as he did so he was astonished to +find that a memory of the ball constantly rose before him--the little +rosy red one; the girl with the plait. Hjalmar Olsen was of opinion +that he had conducted himself in a very gentleman-like manner towards +her. At first this did not very much occupy his thoughts; he had been +twice engaged already, and each time it had been broken off. If he +engaged himself a third time he must marry at once. He had formed this +determination often before, but he did not really think very +seriously about it. + +A steamer is not many days between ports, and at each there is plenty +of amusement. He went to New York, from there to New Orleans, thence +to Brazil and back, once again to Brazil, finally returning direct to +England and Norway. But often during the voyage, and especially over a +glass of punch, he recalled the girl with the plait. How she had +looked at him. It did him good only to think of it. He was not very +fond of letter-writing, or perhaps he would have written to her. But +when he arrived at Christiania, and heard from a friend that her +mother was dying, he thought at once: "I shall certainly go and see +her; she will think it very good of me, if I do so just now." + +Two days later he was sitting before her in the parlour of the little +house near the hotel and market-place. His large hands, black with +hair and sunburn, stroked his knees as he stooped smilingly forward +and asked if she would have him. + +She sat lower than he did; her full figure and plump arms were set +off by a brown dress, which he stared down on when he did not look +into her pale face. She felt each movement of his eyes. She had come +from the other room, and from thoughts of death; she heard a little +cuckoo clock upstairs announce that it was seven o'clock, and the +little thing reminded her of all that was now past. One thing with +another made her turn from him with tears in her eyes as she said, "I +cannot possibly think of such things how." She rose and walked towards +her flowers in the window. + +He was obliged to rise also. "Perhaps she will answer me presently," +he thought; and this belief gave him words, awkward perhaps, but +fairly plain. + +She only shook her head and did not look up. + +He walked off in a rage, and when he turned and looked at the house +again--the little doll's house--he longed to throw it bodily into the +sea. + +He spent the evening, while waiting for the steamer to Christiania, +with Peter Klausson and a few friends, and it was not long before +they discovered on what errand he had been, and how he had sped. They +knew, too, how he had fared on former occasions. The amount which +Hjalmar Olsen drank was in proportion to his chagrin; and the next +morning he awoke on board the steamer in a deplorable condition. + +Not long afterwards Ella received a well-written letter of excuse, in +which he explained that his coming at that time had been well meant, +and that it was only when he was there that he realised how foolish it +had been. She must not be vexed with him for it. In the course of a +month she again received a letter. He hoped that she had forgiven him; +he for his part could not forget her. There was nothing more added. +Ella was pleased with both the letters. They were well expressed and +they showed constancy; but it never occurred to her for a moment that +this indirect offer could be received in any other way than before. + +She had gone to Christiania in order to perfect herself in the piano +and in book-keeping. She added the latter because she had always had a +turn for arithmetic. She felt altogether unsettled. Her mother was +dead; she had inherited the house and a small fortune, and she wanted +to try and help herself. She did not associate with any one in the +strange town. She was used to dreaming and making plans without a +confidant. + +From Aksel Aarö came wonderful tidings. After he had sung before a +large party in New York a wealthy old man had invited him to come and +see him, and since then they had lived together like father and son. +So the story ran in the town long before there came a letter from Aarö +himself; but when it arrived, it entirely confirmed the rumour. It was +after this that Ella received a third letter from Hjalmar Olsen. He +asked in respectful terms if she would take it amiss if he were to pay +her a visit when he came home: he knew where she was living. Before +she had arrived at a conclusion as to how she should answer, a +paragraph appeared in all the Norwegian papers, copied from the +American ones, giving an account of how Hjalmar Olsen, in the teeth of +a gale, and at the risk of his own ship, had saved the passengers and +crew of an ocean steamer, the propeller of which had been injured off +the American coast. Two steamers had passed without daring to render +assistance, the weather was so terrific. Olsen had remained by the +vessel for twenty-four hours. It was a wonderful deed which he had +done. In New York, and subsequently when he arrived in Liverpool, he +had been fêted at the Sailors' Clubs, and been presented with medals +and addresses. When he arrived in Christiania, he was received with +the highest honours. Big and burly as he was, he easily obtained the +homage of the populace: they always love large print. + +In the midst of all this he sought out Ella. She had hidden herself +away; she had but a poor opinion of herself since her discomfiture. In +her imagination he had assumed almost unnatural proportions, and when +he came and took her out with him, she felt as though she had once +more exchanged the close atmosphere of the house for free air and +sunshine. She even felt something of her old self-confidence. His +feelings for her were the same; that she noticed at once, as she +studied him. He knew the forms of society, and could pay attention and +render homage with dignity; he refrained from any premature speech. +She had heard that he was prone to take a glass too much, but she saw +nothing in that. A handsome fellow, a man such as one seldom sees, a +little weather-beaten perhaps, but most sailors are the same. +Something undefined in his eyes frightened her, as did his greediness +at table. Sometimes she was startled at the vehemence of his opinions. +If only she had been at home, and could have made inquiries +beforehand! But he was to leave very soon, and had said jestingly that +the next time that he proposed, he would be betrothed and married all +at once. This plain-speaking and precipitation pleased her, not less +than his energy and authoritative manner, although she felt +frightened--frightened, and at the same time flattered, that so much +energy and authoritativeness should bow before her, and that at a time +when all paid court to him. + +Then an idea, which she thought very sensible, occurred to her. She +would, in the event of an offer, impose two conditions: she must +retain the control of her own property, and never be forced to +accompany him on his voyages. In case his energy and tone of authority +should chance to become intractable a limit was thus set, and she +would, from the outset, make him comprehend that, little as she was, +she knew how to protect both herself and her possessions. + +When the offer came--it was made in a box at the theatre--she had not +courage sufficient to make her stipulation. His expression filled her +with horror--for the first time. She often thought of it afterwards. +Instead of acting upon this intuitive perception, she began to +speculate on what would happen if she were again to say No! She had +accepted his friendship although she knew what was coming. The +conditions, the conditions--they should settle it! If he accepted +them, it should be as he wished, and then there could be no possible +danger. So she wrote and propounded them. + +He came the next day and asked for the necessary papers, so that he +could himself arrange both about the property and the contract. He +evidently looked upon it as a matter of business, and seemed +thoroughly pleased. + +Three days later they were married. It was an imposing ceremony, and +there was a large concourse; it had been announced in all the papers. + +Demonstrations of admiration and respect followed, much parade and +many speeches, mingled with witticisms over his size and her +smallness. This lasted from five in the evening till after midnight, +in rather mixed company. As time wore on, and the champagne +continually flowed, many of the guests became boisterous and somewhat +intrusive, and among them the bridegroom. + +The next morning, at seven o'clock, Ella sat dressed and alone, in a +room next to their bedroom, the door of which stood open. From it she +could hear her husband's snores. She sat there still and deadly pale, +without tears and without feeling. She divided the occurrences into +two--what had happened and what had been said; what had been said and +what had happened: she did not know which was the worst. This man's +longing had been inflamed by deadly hate. From the time that she had +said No! he had made it the object of his life to force her to say +Yes! He told her that she should pay for having nearly made him +ridiculous a third time. She should pay for it all--she, who had dared +to make insulting conditions. He would break the neck of her +conditions like a shrimp. Let her try to refuse to go on board with +him, or attempt to control anything herself. + +Then that which had happened. A fly caught in a spider's web, that was +what she thought of. + +But had she not experienced such a feeling once before? O God, the +night of the ball! She had a vague feeling that that night had +fore-doomed her to this; but she could not make it clear to herself. +On the other hand, she asked herself if what we fail in has not a +greater influence on our lives than that which we succeed in. + +Three or four hours after this, Hjalmar Olsen sat at the +breakfast-table; he was dull and silent, but perfectly polite, as +though nothing had happened. Perhaps he had been too drunk to be quite +accountable, or it might be that his politeness was calculated with +the hope of inducing her to come with him and visit his ship. He asked +her to do so, as he left the table, but neither promises nor threats +could induce her to go on board even for the shortest time. Her terror +saved her. + +Some months later an announcement appeared in the papers that she +wished to take pupils both for the piano and book-keeping. She was +once more living in her own little house in her native town. She was +at this time enciente. + +One day an old friend of Aksel Aarö's came to see her; he was to +remember Aarö very kindly to her, and to congratulate her on her +marriage. She controlled her rising emotion, and asked quietly how he +was getting on. Most wonderfully; he was still living with the same +old man, to whom, by degrees, he had entirely devoted himself. This +was the very thing for Aarö: it suited him to devote himself +completely to one person. He had gone through a course of treatment +for his inherited failing and believed himself to be cured. + +"And how is Fru Holmbo?" asked Ella. She was frightened when she had +said it, but she felt an intense bitterness which would break out. She +had noticed how thin and pale Fru Holmbo looked--she evidently missed +Aarö, and that was too much! + +The friend smiled: "Oh! have you heard that silly rumour? No, Aksel +Aarö was only the medium between her and the man to whom she was +secretly attached. The two friends had lived together abroad. Some +months ago there had been a talk about a business journey to +Copenhagen, and Fru Holmbo went there also. But there had undoubtedly +been something between them for a long time." + +That night Ella wept for a long time before she fell asleep. She lay +and stroked her plait, which she had drawn on to her bosom. She had +often thought of cutting it off, but it was still there. + + +CHAPTER IV + +In the course of the two first years of her marriage she had two +children. Whenever she was alone, she divided her time between them +and her teaching. Her husband hardly contributed anything to the +household, except during the brief periods that he passed at home, and +then the money was squandered in the extravagant life which he led +with his companions. During these visits the "young ones" were sent +off to their aunt. "One could not take four steps without going +through the walls of this wretched little house," he said. At these +times she also gave up the lessons; she had no time for anything +except to wait on him. + +Every one realised that she could not be happy, but no one suspected +that her whole life was one of dread--dread of the telegram which +would announce his coming, if only for a few days, dread of what might +happen when he came. When he was there she never attempted to oppose +him, but displayed to him, and every one else, those frank eyes and +quick, but quiet, ways which enabled her to come and go without being +noticed. When he was gone, she would suddenly collapse, and, worn out +with the strain of days and nights, be obliged to take to her bed. + +Each time that he came home he kept less guard over himself, and was +more careless as regarded others. Had she known that men who have +expended their strength as he had done are as a rule worn out at +forty--and many such are to be found in the coast-towns--she would +have understood that these very things were signs of failure. He had +advanced far along the road. To her he only appeared more and more +disgusting. He was but little at home, which helped her. She had +determined that she and her boys should live in the best manner, and +this again was a help to her; but more than all was her constant +employment and the regard which every one felt for her. After five +years of marriage she looked as charming as ever, and appeared as +cheerful and lively; she was accustomed to conceal her feelings. + +Her children were now--the elder four, the second three years old. +They were rarely seen anywhere but in the market-place, on the +snow-heaps in winter and on the sand-heaps in summer, or else they +were in the country with their aunt whom they had adopted as +"grandmother." + +Next to the care of the little boys, flowers were Ella's greatest +delight. She had a great many, which made the house appear smaller +than it really was. She could play with the boys, but she could share +her thoughts with the flowers. When she watered them, she felt acutely +how much she suffered. When she dried their leaves, she longed for +pleasant words and kindly eyes. When she removed dead twigs and +superfluous shoots, when she re-potted them, she often cried with +longing; the thought that there was no one to care for her overcame +her. + +Five years were gone, then, when one day it was reported through the +whole town that Aksel Aarö had become a rich man. His old friend was +dead and had left him a large annuity. It was also said that he had +been a second time treated for dypsomania. The previous treatment had +not been successful, but he was now cured. One could see how popular +Aarö was, for there was hardly anybody who was not pleased. + +On Wednesday the 16th of March, 1892, at four o'clock in the +afternoon, Ella sat at work near her flowers; from there she could see +the hotel. At the corner window in the second story stood the man of +whom she was thinking--stood and looked down at her. + +She got up and he bowed twice. She remained standing as he crossed the +market-place. He wore a dark fur cap, and his fair beard hung down +over his black silk waistcoat. His face was rather pale, but there was +a brighter expression in his eyes. He knocked, she could not speak or +move, but when he opened the door and came into the room, she sank +into a chair and wept. He came slowly forward, took a chair and sat +down near her. "You must not be frightened because I came straight to +you, it is such a pleasure to see you again." Ah! how they sounded in +this house, those few words full of consideration and confidence. He +had acquired a foreign accent, but the voice, the voice! And he did +not misconstrue her weakness, but tried to help her. By degrees she +became her old self, confiding, bright, timid. + +"It was so entirely unexpected," she said. + +"All that has occurred in the meantime rushes in on one," he added +courteously. + +Not much more was said. He was preparing to leave, when his +brother-in-law entered. Aarö looked at her boys out on the snow-heap, +he looked at her flowers, her piano, her music, then asked if he might +come again. He had been there hardly five minutes, but an impression +rested on her mind somewhat as the magnificent fair beard rested on +the silk waistcoat. The room was hallowed, the piano, the music, the +chair on which he had sat, even the carpet on which he had walked--in +his very walk there was consideration for her. She felt that all that +he had said and done showed sympathy for her fate. She could do +nothing more that day, she hardly slept during the night, but the +change which had taken place in her was nothing less than the bringing +of something into the daylight again from five years ago, from six +years indeed, as one brings flowers out of the cellar, where they have +been put for their winter sleep, up into the spring-time again. As +this thought passed through her mind, she made the same gesture at +least twenty times, she laid both hands on her breast, one over the +other, as though to control it: it must not speak too loudly. + +The next day their conversation flowed more freely. The children were +called in. After looking at them for a while, he said: "You have +something real there." + +In a little time they were such good friends, he and the boys, that he +was down on all-fours playing horses with them, and did some quite +new tricks which they thought extremely amusing; he then invited them +to come for a drive the next day. After a thaw, there had been an +unusually heavy fall of snow; the town was white and the state of the +roads perfect. + +Before he left Ella offered to brush him; the carpet had not been as +well swept as it should have been. He took the clothes-brush from her +and used it himself, but he had unfortunately lain on his back as +well, so she was obliged to help him. She brushed his coat lightly and +deftly, but she was never satisfied, nor was he yet properly brushed +in front. He had to do it over again: she stood and looked on. When he +had finished she took the brush into the kitchen. + +"How funny that you should still wear your plait," said he, as she +went out. She remained away for some time, and came in again by +another door. He had gone. The children said that some one had come +across for him. + +The next morning the little boys had their drive. They did not return +until late in the afternoon. They had been to Baadshaug, a +watering-place with an hotel and an excellent restaurant, to which +people were very fond of making excursions during the winter. His +sister's youngest boy was with them, and while all three went back +with the horses to "Andresen's at the corner," Aarö remained standing +in the passage. Never had Ella seen him so cheerful. His eyes +sparkled, and he talked from the time he came to the time he left. He +talked about the Norwegian winter which he had never realised before; +how could that have been? For many years he had had in his +_répertoire_ a song in praise of winter, the old winter song which she +knew as well: "Summer sleeps in winter's arms"--yes, she knew it--and +he only now realised how true it was. The influence of winter on +people's lives must be immense; why it was nearly half their lives; +what health and beauty and what power of imagination it must give. He +began to describe what he had seen in the woods that day. He did not +use many words, but he gave a clear picture; he talked till he became +quite excited, and looked at her the whole time with a rapturous +expression. + +It was but for a few moments. He stood there muffled in furs: but when +he had gone it seemed to her that she had never truly seen him before. +He was an enthusiast then--an enthusiast whose depths never revealed +themselves. Was his singing a message from this enthusiasm? Was this +why his voice carried everybody away with it into another region? That +melancholy father of his, when a craving for drink seized him, would +shut himself up with his violin, and play and play till he became +helpless. Had the son, too, this dislike of companionship, this +delight in his own enthusiasm? God be praised, Aksel Aarö was saved! +Was it not from the depths of his enthusiasm that he had looked at +her? This forced itself upon her for the first time; she had been +occupied before by the change in him, but now it forced itself upon +her--hotly, with a thrill of fear and joy. A message of gladness +which still quivered with doubt. Was the decisive moment of her life +approaching? She felt that she coloured. She could not remain quiet; +she went to the window to look for him; then paced the room, trying to +discover what she might believe. All his words, his looks, his +gestures, since he had first come there, rose before her. But he had +been reserved, almost niggardly, with them. But that was just their +charm. His eyes had now interpreted them, and those eyes enveloped +her; she gave herself absolutely up to them. + +Her servant brought in a letter; it was a Christmas card, in an +envelope without a direction, from Aksel Aarö--one of the usual +Christmas cards, representing a number of young people in snow-shoes. +Below was printed: + + Winter white, + Has roses red. + +On the other side, in a clear round hand, "In the woods to-day I could +not but think of you. A. A.." That was all. + +"That is like him, he says nothing more. When he passes a shop-window +in which he sees such a card, he thinks of me; and not only does he +think of me but he sends me his thoughts." Or was she mistaken. Ella +was diffident; surely this could not be misconstrued. The Christmas +card--was it not a harbinger? The two young couples on it and the +words--surely he meant something by that. His enraptured eyes again +rose before her; they seemed not only to envelop her, but to caress +her. She thought neither of past nor future; she lived only in the +present. She lay wide awake that night looking at the moonlight. Now, +now, now, was whispered. Had she but clung to the dream of her life, +even when the reality had seemed so cruel, she would have held her +own; because she had been uncertain about it, all had become +uncertain. But the greater the suffering had been, the greater, +perhaps, would be the bliss. She fell asleep in the soft white light, +which she took with her into her dreams. She woke among light, bright +clouds, which gathered round the glittering thought of what might be +awaiting her to-day. He had not said a word. This bashfulness was what +she loved the best of anything in him. It was just that which was the +surest pledge. It would be to-day. + + +CHAPTER V + +She took a long time over her bath, an almost longer time in doing her +hair; out of the chest of drawers, which she had used as a child, and +which still stood in its old place--out of its lowest drawer she took +her finest underlinen. She had never worn it but once--on her +wedding-day--before the desecration, never since. But to-day--Now, +now, now! Not one garment which she put on had ever been touched by +any one but herself. She wished to be what she had been in her dreams. + +She went to the children, who were awake but not dressed. + +"Listen, boys! To-day Tea shall take you to see grandmother." + +Great delight, shared by Tea, for this meant a holiday. + +"Mamma, mamma!" she heard behind her, as she ran down to the kitchen +to get a cup of coffee, and then she was off. First she must get some +flowers, then put off her lessons. For now, now, now! + +Out in the street she remembered that it was too early to get +anything, so she went for a walk, beyond the town, the freshest, the +brightest, that she had ever taken. She came back again just as Fru +Holmbo was opening her shop. As Ella entered the "flower-woman" was +holding an expensive bouquet in her hand, ready to be sent out. + +"I will have that!" cried Ella, shutting the door behind her. + +"You!" said Fru Holmbo a little doubtfully; the bouquet was a very +expensive one. + +"Yes, I must have it;" Ella's little green purse was ready. The +bouquet had been ordered for the best house in the town, and Fru +Holmbo said so. + +"That does not matter," answered Ella. Such genuine admiration of a +bouquet had never been seen--and Ella got it. + +From there she went to "Andresen's at the corner." One of the shopmen +took lessons in book-keeping from her. She wished to put him off, and +asked him to tell the whole of the large class. She asked him this +with kindling eyes, and he gladly promised to do so. The daintiest red +shawl was hanging just before her. She must have it to wear over her +head to-day when she drove out; for that she would drive to-day there +was no doubt. Andresen himself came up, just as she was asking about +the shawl. He caught a glimpse of her bouquet, under the paper. "Those +are lovely roses," he said. She took one out at once, and gave it to +him. From the rose he looked at her; she laughed and asked if he would +take a little off the price of the shawl; she had not quite enough +money left. + +"How much have you?" he asked. + +"Just half a krone too little," she replied. + +He himself wrapped up the shawl for her. In the street she met +Cecilie Monrad, whose sister studied music with Ella; she was thus +saved a walk to the other end of the town to put her off. "Everything +favours me to-day," she thought. + +"Did you see about those two who committed suicide together at +Copenhagen?" asked Cecilie. + +"Yes, she had." Fröken Monrad thought that it was horrible. + +"Why?" + +"Why the man was married!" + +"True enough," answered Ella, "but they loved each other." Her eyes +glowed; Cecilie lowered hers and blushed. Ella took her hand and +pressed it. "I tumbled into a love-story there," she thought, and +flew, rather than walked, up to the villas, where most of her pupils +lived. On a roof she saw two starlings; the first that year. The thaw +of a few days back had deceived them. Not that the starlings were +dispirited. No, they loved! "Mamma, mamma," she seemed to hear at the +same moment. It was certainly her boys; she had thought of them when +she saw the starlings. She was so occupied with this that she walked +right across to the side of the road and trod on a piece of board, +which tilted up and nearly threw her down; but under the board Spring +reigned. They had come with the thaw, they were certainly dandelions! +However ugly they may be in the summer, the first ones are always +welcome. She stooped down and gathered the flowers; she put them with +the roses. The dandelions looked very shabby there, but they were the +first this year, and found to-day! + +After this she was absolutely boisterous. She skipped down the hills +when her errand was finished. She greeted friends and mere +acquaintance alike, and when she again saw Cecilie she put down the +flowers, made a snowball, and threw it at her back. + +When she got home she wrapped the children well up and put them into +the sledge with Tea. "Mamma, mamma!" they shouted and pointed up +towards the hotel. There stood Aksel Aarö. He bowed to her. + +Soon afterwards he came across. "You are quite alone," he said as he +entered. + +"Yes." She was arranging the flowers and did not look up for she was +trembling. + +"Is it a birthday to-day?" he asked. + +"Do you mean because of the flowers?" + +"Yes. What lovely roses, and those in the glass--dandelions?" + +"The first this year," she answered. + +He did not look at them. He stood and fidgeted, as though he were +thinking of something. + +"May I sing to you?" He said at last. + +"Yes, indeed." She left the flowers, in order to open the piano and +screw down the music-stool, and then drew quietly back. + +After a long and subdued prelude, he began with the "Sunset Song," by +Ole Olsen, very softly, as he had spoken and moved ever since he came +in. Never had he sung more beautifully; he had greatly improved, but +the voice was the same, nay, there was even more despair and +suffering in it than when she had heard it for the first time. +"Sorrow, sorrow, oh, I am lost!" She heard it again plainly. At the +end of the first verse, she sat bending forward, and weeping bitterly. +She had not even tried to control herself. He heard her and turned +round, a moment afterwards she felt him approach her, it even seemed +to her that he kissed her plait, certainly he had bent down over her, +for she could feel his breath. But she did not raise her head, she +dare not. + +He walked across the room, returned and then walked back again. Her +agitation subsided, she sat immovable and waited. + +"May I be allowed to take you for a drive to-day?" she heard him say. + +She had known the whole morning that they would go for a drive +together, so she was not surprised. Just as _that_ had now been +fulfilled, so would the other be--everything. She looked up through +her tears and smiled. He smiled too. + +"I will go and see about the horses," he said, and as she did not +answer he left her. + +She went back to the flowers. So she had not been able to give them to +him. She would throw away the dandelions. As she took them out of the +glass, she recalled the words, "You have something real there." They +had certainly not been said about the dandelions, but they had often +since recurred to her. Was it strange that they should do so now? She +let the dandelions remain. + +Aarö stayed away a long time, more than an hour, but when he returned +he was very cheerful. He was in a smart ladies' sledge, in the +handsome furs which he had worn the day before; the most valuable ones +that she had ever seen. He saluted with his whip, and talked and +laughed with every one, old and young, who gathered round him while +Ella put on her things. That was soon done; she had not many wraps, +nor did she need them. + +He got down when she appeared, came forward, muffled her up and drove +off at a trot. As they went he stooped over her and whispered, "How +good of you to come with me." His voice was very genial, but there was +something quite different about his breath. As soon as the handsome +horses had slackened speed, he stooped forward again. + +"I have telephoned to Baadshaug to order lunch, it will be ready when +we get there; you do not mind?" + +She turned, so as to raise her head towards him, their faces almost +met. + +"I forgot to thank you for the card yesterday." + +He coloured. "I repented afterwards," he said, "but at the moment, I +could not but think of you; how you suit it out here." Now _she_ +coloured and drew back. Then she heard close by her: "You must not be +angry, it always happens that when we wish to repair a blunder, we +make another." + +She would have liked to have seen his eyes, as he said this, but she +dare not look at him. At all events it was more than he had said up to +the present time. His words fell softly on her ears. Before to-day +she had almost misinterpreted his reserve, but how beautiful it made +everything. She worshipped it. + +"In a little time we shall come to the woods, then we will stop and +look round us," he said. + +"_There_," she thought. + +He drove on at a quick trot. How happy she was! The sunlight sparkled +on the snow, the air was warm, she had to loosen the shawl over her +head, and he helped her to do so. Again she became aware of his +breath, there was something, not tobacco, more delicate, pleasanter, +but what was it? It seemed to harmonise with him. She felt very happy, +with an overflow of joy in the scene through which they were driving +and which continually increased in beauty. + +On one side of the road were the mountains, the white mountains, which +took a warm tint from the sunlight. In front of the mountains were +lower hills, partly covered by woods, and among these lay scattered +farms. The farms were soon passed and then came woods, nothing but +woods. On the other side of the road they had the sea for the whole +way, but between them and it were flat expanses, probably marshes. The +sea looked steel-grey against the snow. It spoke of another part of +life, of eternal unrest; protest after protest against the snow idyl. + +During the thaw, tree-trunks, branches, and fences had become wet. The +first snow which fell, being itself wet, had stuck to them. But when +all this froze together, and there was another overwhelming fall, +outlines were formed over the frozen surface, such as one rarely sees +the like of. The weight of the first soft snow had caused it to slip +down, but it had been arrested here and there by each inequality, and +there it had collected, or else it had slid under the branches, or +down on both sides of the fences; when this had been augmented both by +drift and fall, the most whimsical animal forms were produced--white +cats, white hares clawed the tree-trunks with bent backs and heads +and fore-quarters outstretched, or sat under the branches, or on the +hedges. White beasts were there, some appeared the size of martens, +but occasionally they seemed as large as lynxes or even tigers; +besides these there were numberless small animals, white mice, and +squirrels, here, there, and everywhere. Again there were, besides, all +sorts of oddities, mountebanks who hung by their heels, clowns and +goblins on the tops of the fences, dwarfs with big sacks on their +backs; an old hat or a nightcap: an animal without a head, another +with a neck of preposterous length, an enormous mitten, an overturned +water-can. In some places the blackened foliage remained uncovered, +and formed arabesques against the drifts; in others, masses of snow +lay on the branches of the fir-trees with green above and beneath, +forming wonderful contrasts of colour. Aarö drew up and they both got +out of the sledge. + +Now they gained a whole series of fresh impressions. Right in front of +them stood an old pine-tree, half prostrated in the struggle of life; +but was he not dreaming, here in the winter, the loveliest of all +dreams, that he was young again? In the joyous growth of this +snow-white glory he had forgotten all pain and decay, forgotten the +moss on his bark, the rottenness of his roots was concealed. A rickety +gate had been taken from its place and was propped against the fence, +broken and useless. The artist hand of winter had sought it out too, +and glorified it, and it was now an architectural masterpiece. The +slanting black gate-posts were a couple of young dandies, with hats on +one side and jaunty air. The old, grey, mossy rails--one could not +imagine Paradise within a more beautiful enclosure. Their blemishes +had in this resurrection become their greatest beauty. Their knots and +crannies were the chief building ground for the snow, each hole filled +up by a donation of heavenly crystals from the clouds. Their +disfiguring splinters were now covered and kissed, shrouded and +decorated; all blemishes were obliterated in the universal whiteness. +A tumbledown moss-grown hut by the roadside--now more extravagantly +adorned than the richest bride in the world, covered over from +heaven's own lap in such abundance that the white snow wreaths hung +half a yard beyond the roof; in some places folded back with +consummate art. The grey-black wall under the snow wreaths looked like +an old Persian fabric. It seemed ready to appear in a Shakespearean +drama. The background of mountains and hills gleamed in the sunlight. + +In the midst of all this Ella seemed to hear two little cries of +"Mamma, mamma!" When she looked round for her companion he was sitting +on the sledge, quite overcome, while tears flowed down his cheeks. + +They drove on again, but slowly. "I remember this muddy road," said +he; his voice sounded very sad. "The trees shaded it so that it was +hardly ever dry, but now it is beautiful." + +She turned and raised her head towards him. "Ah! sing a little," she +said. + +He did not answer at once, and she regretted that she had asked him; +at length he said: + +"I was thinking of it, but I became so agitated; do not speak for a +moment and then perhaps I can--the old winter song, that is to say." + +She understood that he could not do so until he completely realised +it. These silent enthusiasts were indeed fastidious about what was +genuine. Most things were not genuine enough for them. That is why +they are so prone to intoxicate themselves; they wish to get away, to +form a world for themselves. Yes, now he sang: + + In winter's arms doth summer sleep + By winter covered calm she lay, + "Still!" he cried to the river's play, + To farm, and field and mountain steep. + Silence reigns o'er hill and dale, + No sound at home save ringing flail. + + All that summer loved to see + Till she returns sleeps safely on. + In needed rest, the summer gone, + Sleep water, meadow-grass and tree, + Hid like the kernel in the nut + The earth lies crumbling round each root. + + All the ills which summer knew, + Pest and blight for life and fruit + Winter's hosts have put to rout. + In peace she shall awake again + Purified by winds and snows, + Peace shall greet her as she goes. + + A lovely dream has winter strown + On the sleeping mountain height; + Star high, pale in northern light, + From sight to sight it bears her on + Through the long, long hours of night, + Till she wakes shall be her flight. + + He who we say brings naught but pain + Lives but for that he ne'er shall see. + He who is called a murderer, he + Preserves each year our land again, + Then hides himself by crag and hill + Till evening's breeze again blows chill. + +All the little sleigh-bells accompanied the song, like the twitter of +sparrows. His voice echoed through the trees, the religious service of +a human soul in the white halls. + +One day, felt Ella, paid for a thousand. One day may do what the +winter song relates. It may rock a weary summer, destroy its germs of +ill, renew the earth, make the nerves strong, and the darkest time +bright. In it are collected all our long dreams. What might she not +have become, poor little thing that she was, if she had had many such +days? What would she not then have become, for her children. + +They now drew near to a long building with two wings; the whole built +of wood. In the courtyard a number of sledges were standing. There +were a great many people here then! A stableman took their horses; the +waiter who was to attend to them, a German, was quickly at hand, and a +bareheaded jovial man joined them as well--it was Peter Klausson. He +seemed to have been expecting them, and wished to relieve Ella of her +wraps, but he smelt of cognac or something of the sort, and to get rid +of him she inquired for the room in which they were to lunch. They +were shown into a warm cosy apartment where the table was laid. Aarö +helped her off with her things. + +"I could not endure Peter Klausson's breath," she said, at which Aarö +smiled. + +"In America we have a remedy for that." + +"What do you mean?" + +"One takes something which scents the breath." + +A moment later he asked her to excuse him. He had to arrange a few +things. She was thus alone until some one knocked at the door. It was +Peter Klausson again. He saw her astonishment and smiled. + +"We are to lunch together," he said. + +"Are we?" she replied. + +She looked at the table; it was laid for five. + +"Have you heard lately from your husband?" + +"No." + +A long pause. Was Peter Klausson fit company for Aksel Aarö? Her +husband's boon companion! Aarö, who will have nothing but what is +genuine. But as she thought this, she had to admit that Peter +Klausson's impulsive nature was perfectly truthful, which indeed it +was. The waiter came in with a basket of wine, but did not shut the +door after him until he had lifted in some more from outside: +champagne in ice. + +"Shall we want so much wine?" asked Ella. + +"Oh, it's all right," answered Peter Klausson, evidently delighted. + +"But Aarö does not drink wine!" + +"Aarö? When he asked me to come here to-day--I chanced to look in on +him--we had some first-rate cognac together." + +Ella turned to the window, for she felt that she had grown pale. + +Very soon Aarö came in, so courteous and stately that Peter Klausson +felt compelled to take his hands out of his pockets. He hardly dared +to speak. Aarö said that he had invited the Holmbos, but they had just +sent an excuse. They three must make the best of each other's society. +He led Ella to the table. + +It was soon evident that Aarö was the most delightful and accomplished +of hosts. He spoke English to the waiter, and directed him by frequent +signs, covered his blunders, and smoothed away every little +difficulty, in such a way that it was hardly noticed. All the time he +kept up a constant flow of conversation, narrating small anecdotes +from his experiences of society, but he never poured out wine for +himself, and when he raised his glass his hand shook. Ella had fancied +before that this was the case--it was torture to her now. + +Oysters were served for the first course; she relished them +thoroughly, for she was very hungry; but as the meal proceeded, she +became each moment less able to enjoy it. At last her throat seemed to +contract, she felt more inclined to cry than to eat and drink. + +At first the reason was not clear to her. She only felt that this was +absolutely different from what she had dreamed of. This glorious day +was to be a disappointment. At first she thought--this will end some +time, and we shall go comfortably home again. But by degrees, as his +spirits rose, she became merely the guest of a society man. As such +she was shown all imaginable attention--indeed, the two gentlemen +joined in making much of her, till she could have cried. + +After luncheon she was ceremoniously conducted on Aarö's arm into +another room which was also in readiness for them; comfortable, well +furnished, and with a piano. + +Coffee was served at once with liqueur, and not long afterwards the +two men asked to be excused; they wanted to smoke, they would not be +long. They went, and left her alone. This was scarcely polite, and now +she first realised that it was not the day only, but Aarö, who had +become different from what she had believed him. The great darkness +which had overwhelmed her on the night of the ball again menaced her; +she fought against it; she got up and paced the room; she longed to be +out of doors, as though she could find him again there, such as she +had imagined him. She looked for the luncheon-room, put on her red +shawl, and had just come out on to the broad space before the +building, when the waiter came up to her and said something in English +which she could not at first understand. Indeed, she was too much +occupied with her own thoughts to be able suddenly to change +languages. + +The waiter told her that one of her companions was ill, and the other +not to be found. Even when she understood the words, she did not +realise what was the matter, but followed mechanically. As she went +she remembered that Aarö's tongue had not been quite obedient when, +after the liqueur, he had asked permission to go and smoke; surely he +had not had a stroke. + +They passed the smoking-room, which seemed to be full--at all events +of smoke and laughter. The door of a little room by the side of it was +opened; there lay Aksel Aarö on a bed. He must have slunk in there +alone, perhaps to drink more; indeed, he had taken a short thick +bottle in with him, which still stood on a table by the bed, on which +he lay fully dressed with closed eyes and without sense or feeling. + +"Tip, tip, Peté!" he said to her, and repeated it with outstretched +finger, "Tip, tip, Peté!" He spoke in a falsetto voice. Did he mean +Peter? Did he take her for a man? Behind him on a pillow lay something +hairy; it was a _toupet_; she now saw that he was bald on the crown. +"Tip, tip, Peté!" she heard as she rushed out. + +Few people have felt smaller than Ella as she trudged along the +country road, back to the town as fast as her short legs could carry +her, in thin shoes and winter attire. The heavy cloak which she had +worn for driving was unfastened, she carried the shawl in her hand, +but still the perspiration streamed off her; the idea was upon her +that it was her dreams which were falling from her. + +At first she only thought of Aksel Aarö, the unhappy lost one! +To-morrow or the next day he would leave the country; she knew this +from past experience, and this time it would be for ever. + +But as she thought how terrible it was, the _toupet_ on the pillow +seemed to ask: "Was Aksel Aarö so very genuine?" "Yes, yes, how could +he help it if he became bald so early." "H'm," answered the _toupet_; +"he could have confessed to it." + +She struggled on; luckily she did not meet any one, nor was she +overtaken by any of those who had been at Baadshaug. She must look +very comical, perspiring and tearful, with unfastened cloak, in thin +shoes and with a shawl in her hand. Several times she slackened her +pace, but the disturbance of her feelings was too great, and it was +her nature to struggle forward. + +But through all her feverish haste the great question forced itself +upon her: "Would you not wish now, Ella, to relinquish all your +dreams, since time after time things go so badly?" She sobbed +violently and answered: "Not for worlds. No! for these dreams are the +best things that I have. They have given me the power to measure +others so that I can never exalt anything which is base. No! I have +woven them round my children as well, so that I have a thousand times +more pleasure in them. They and the flowers are all that I have." And +she sobbed and pressed on. + +"But now you will have no dream, Ella!" + +At first she did not know what to reply to this, it seemed but too +true, too terribly true, and the _toupet_ showed itself again. + +It was here that Aarö had sung the old winter song, and as the tinkle +of the sledge-bells had accompanied it, so now her tears were +unceasingly accompanied by two little voices: "Mamma, mamma!" It was +not strange, for it was towards the children that she was hurrying, +but now they seemed to demand that she should dream about them. No, +no! "You have something real there," Aarö's voice seemed to say. She +remembered his saying it, she remembered his sadness as he did so. Had +he really thought of himself and her, or of the children and her? Had +he compared his own weakness with their health, with their future? Her +thoughts wandered far away from the boys, and she was once more +immersed in all his words and looks, trying by them to solve this +enigma. But these, with the yearning and pain, came back as they had +never done before. Her whole life was over; her dream was of too long +standing, too strong, too clear, the roots could not be pulled up; it +was impossible. Were they not round everything which, next day, she +should see, or touch, or use? As a last stroke she remembered that +the boys were not at home; she would come to an empty house. + +But she resisted still; for when she got home and had bathed and gone +to bed, and again the moonlight shone in on her and reminded her of +her thoughts the night before, she turned away and cried aloud like a +child. None could enter, none could hear her; her heart was young, as +though she were but seventeen; it could not, it would not give up! + +What was it, in fact, that she had wished for to-day? She did not +know--no, she did not! She only knew that her happiness was +_there_--and so she had let it remain. Now she was disappointed and +deluded in a way that certainly few had been. + +She could not bear to desecrate him further. Then the winter song +swept past in his voice, sweet, full, sorrowful, as if it wished to +make all clear to her; and, tractable as a child, she composed herself +and listened. What did it say? That her dreams united two summers, +the one which had been and the one which was slowly struggling up +anew. Thanks be to the dreams which had awakened it. It said, too, +that the dreams were something in themselves often of greater truth +than reality itself. She had felt this when she was tending her +flowers. + +In her uneasy tossing in her bed, her plait had come close to her +hand. Sadly she drew it forward; he had kissed it again to-day. And so +she lay on her side, and took it between her hands, and cried. + +"Mamma, mamma!" she heard whispered, and thus she slept. + + + + + + _THE NOVELS OF BJÖRNSTJERNE BJÖRNSON_ + + _Edited by EDMUND GOSSE_ + + _Fcap. 8vo, cloth, 3s. net_ + + _Synnövé Solbakken_ + _Arne_ + _A Happy Boy_ + _The Fisher Lass_ + _The Bridal March, & One Day_ + _Magnhild, & Dust_ + _Captain Mansana, & Mother's Hands_ + _Absalom's Hair, & A Painful Memory_ + +_LONDON_ + +_WILLIAM HEINEMANN_ + +_21 Bedford Street, W. C._ + + + +_Printed by_ Ballantyne, Hanson & Co. _London and Edinburgh_ + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Bridal March; One Day, by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BRIDAL MARCH; ONE DAY *** + +***** This file should be named 18110-8.txt or 18110-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/8/1/1/18110/ + +Produced by Clare Boothby, Charlene Taylor and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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