initial commit of ebook 17821HEADmain

1 files changed, 6353 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/17821.txt b/17821.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9d3db96
--- /dev/null
+++ b/17821.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,6353 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Red Hair, by Elinor Glyn
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Red Hair
+
+Author: Elinor Glyn
+
+Release Date: February 22, 2006 [EBook #17821]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RED HAIR ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell, Jeroen van Luin and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                         The Authors' Press Series
+                              of the Works of
+                                Elinor Glyn
+
+
+
+                                 RED HAIR
+
+
+
+                      THE AUTHORS' PRESS, PUBLISHERS
+                               AUBURN, N. Y.
+
+
+                            Copyright, 1905, by
+                                ELINOR GLYN
+
+                  When copyrighted by Elinor Glyn in 1905,
+                  this book was published under the title
+                     "The Vicissitudes of Evangeline."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                                                        BRANCHES PARK,
+
+                                                         _November 3._
+
+
+I wonder so much if it is amusing to be an adventuress, because that is
+evidently what I shall become now. I read in a book all about it; it is
+being nice looking and having nothing to live on, and getting a pleasant
+time out of life--and I intend to do that! I have certainly nothing to
+live on, for one cannot count L300 a year; and I am extremely pretty, and
+I know it quite well, and how to do my hair, and put on my hats, and those
+things--so, of course, I am an adventuress! I was not intended for this
+role--in fact, Mrs. Carruthers adopted me on purpose to leave me her
+fortune, as at that time she had quarrelled with her heir, who was bound
+to get the place. Then she was so inconsequent as not to make a proper
+will--thus it is that this creature gets everything, and I nothing!
+
+I am twenty, and up to the week before last, when Mrs. Carruthers got ill
+and died in one day, I had had a fairly decent time at odd moments when
+she was in a good temper.
+
+There is no use pretending even when people are dead, if one is writing
+down one's real thoughts. I detested Mrs. Carruthers most of the time. A
+person whom it was impossible to please. She had no idea of justice, or of
+anything but her own comfort, and what amount of pleasure other people
+could contribute to her day.
+
+How she came to do anything for me at all was because she had been in love
+with papa, and when he married poor mamma--a person of no family--and then
+died, she offered to take me, and bring me up, just to spite mamma, she
+has often told me. As I was only four I had no say in the matter, and if
+mamma liked to give me up that was her affair. Mamma's father was a lord,
+and her mother I don't know who, and they had not worried to get married,
+so that is how it is poor mamma came to have no relations. After papa was
+dead, she married an Indian officer and went off to India, and died, too,
+and I never saw her any more--so there it is; there is not a soul in the
+world who matters to me, or I to them, so I can't help being an
+adventuress, and thinking only of myself, can I?
+
+Mrs. Carruthers periodically quarrelled with all the neighbors, so beyond
+frigid calls now and then in a friendly interval, we never saw them much.
+Several old, worldly ladies used to come and stay, but I liked none of
+them, and I have no young friends. When it is getting dark, and I am up
+here alone, I often wonder what it would be like if I had--but I believe I
+am the kind of cat that would not have got on with them too nicely--so
+perhaps it is just as well. Only, to have had a pretty--aunt, say--to love
+one--that might have been nice.
+
+Mrs. Carruthers had no feelings like this; "stuff and nonsense,"
+"sentimental rubbish," she would have called them. To get a suitable
+husband is what she brought me up for, she said, and for the last years
+had arranged that I should marry her detested heir, Christopher
+Carruthers, as I should have the money and he the place.
+
+He is a diplomat, and lives in Paris, and Russia, and amusing places like
+that, so he does not often come to England. I have never seen him. He is
+quite old--over thirty--and has hair turning gray.
+
+Now he is master here, and I must leave--unless he proposes to marry me at
+our meeting this afternoon, which he probably won't do.
+
+However, there can be no harm in my making myself look as attractive as
+possible under the circumstances. As I am to be an adventuress, I must do
+the best I can for myself. Nice feelings are for people who have money to
+live as they please. If I had ten thousand a year, or even five, I would
+snap my fingers at all men, and say, "No, I make my life as I choose, and
+shall cultivate knowledge and books, and indulge in beautiful ideas of
+honor and exalted sentiments, and perhaps one day succumb to a noble
+passion." (What grand words the thought, even, is making me write!) But as
+it is, if Mr. Carruthers asks me to marry him, as he has been told to do
+by his aunt, I shall certainly say yes, and so stay on here, and have a
+comfortable home. Until I have had this interview it is hardly worth while
+packing anything.
+
+What a mercy black suits me! My skin is ridiculously white. I shall stick
+a bunch of violets in my frock--that could not look heartless, I suppose.
+But if he asks me if I am sad about Mrs. Carruthers's death, I shall not
+be able to tell a lie.
+
+I am sad, of course, because death is a terrible thing, and to die like
+that, saying spiteful things to every one, must be horrid--but I can't, I
+can't regret her. Not a day ever passed that she did not sting some part
+of me; when I was little, it was not only with her tongue--she used to
+pinch me, and box my ears until Dr. Garrison said it might make me deaf,
+and then she stopped, because she said deaf people were a bore, and she
+could not put up with them.
+
+I shall not go on looking back. There are numbers of things that even now
+make me raging to remember.
+
+I have only been out for a year. Mrs. Carruthers got an attack of
+bronchitis when I was eighteen, just as we were going up to town for the
+season, and said she did not feel well enough for the fatigues, and off we
+went to Switzerland. And in the autumn we travelled all over the place,
+and in the winter she coughed and groaned, and the next season would not
+go up until the last court, so I have only had a month of London. The
+bronchitis got perfectly well--it was heart-failure that killed her,
+brought on by an attack of temper because Thomas broke the Carruthers
+vase. I shall not write of her death, or the finding of the will, or the
+surprise that I was left nothing but a thousand pounds and a diamond ring.
+
+Now that I am an adventuress, instead of an heiress, of what good to
+chronicle all that! Sufficient to say if Mr. Carruthers does not obey his
+orders and offer me his hand this afternoon, I shall have to pack my
+trunks and depart by Saturday, but where to is yet in the lap of the gods.
+
+He is coming by the 3.20 train, and will be in the house before four, an
+ugly, dull time; one can't offer him tea, and it will be altogether
+trying and exciting.
+
+He is coming ostensibly to take over his place, I suppose, but in reality
+it is to look at me, and see if in any way he will be able to persuade
+himself to carry out his aunt's wishes. I wonder what it will be like to
+be married to some one you don't know and don't like? I am not greatly
+acquainted yet with the ways of men. We have not had any that you could
+call that here, much--only a lot of old wicked sort of things, in the
+autumn, to shoot the pheasants, and play bridge with Mrs. Carruthers. The
+marvel to me was how they ever killed anything, such antiques they were!
+Some politicians and ambassadors, and creatures of that sort; and mostly
+as wicked as could be. They used to come trotting down the passage to the
+school-room, and have tea with mademoiselle and me on the slightest
+provocation, and say such things! I am sure lots of what they said meant
+something else, mademoiselle used to giggle so. She was rather a
+good-looking one I had the last four years, but I hated her. There was
+never any one young and human who counted.
+
+I did look forward to coming out in London, but being so late, every one
+was preoccupied when we got there, and no one got in love with me much.
+Indeed, we went out very little; a part of the time I had a swollen nose
+from a tennis-ball at Ranelagh, and people don't look at girls with
+swollen noses.
+
+I wonder where I shall go and live! Perhaps in Paris--unless, of course, I
+marry Mr. Carruthers. I don't suppose it is dull being married. In London
+all the married ones seemed to have a lovely time, and had not to bother
+with their husbands much.
+
+Mrs. Carruthers always assured me love was a thing of absolutely no
+consequence in marriage. You were bound to love some one some time, but
+the very fact of being chained to him would dispel the feeling. It was a
+thing to be looked upon like measles, or any other disease, and was better
+to get it over and then turn to the solid affairs of life. But how she
+expected me to get it over when she never arranged for me to see any one,
+I don't know.
+
+I asked her one day what I should do if I got to like some one after I am
+married to Mr. Carruthers, and she laughed one of her horrid laughs, and
+said I should probably do as the rest of the world. And what do they do, I
+wonder? Well, I suppose I shall find out some day.
+
+Of course there is the possibility that Christopher (do I like the name of
+Christopher, I wonder?)--well, that Christopher may not want to follow her
+will.
+
+He has known about it for years, I suppose, just as I have, but I believe
+men are queer creatures, and he may take a dislike to me. I am not a type
+that would please every one. My hair is too red--brilliant, dark, fiery
+red, like a chestnut when it tumbles out of its shell, only burnished like
+metal. If I had the usual white eyelashes I should be downright ugly, but,
+thank goodness! by some freak of nature mine are black and thick, and
+stick out when you look at me sideways, and I often think when I catch
+sight of myself in the glass that I am really very pretty--all put
+together--but, as I said before, not a type to please every one.
+
+A combination I am that Mrs. Carruthers assured me would cause anxieties.
+"With that mixture, Evangeline," she often said, "you would do well to
+settle yourself in life as soon as possible. Good girls don't have your
+coloring." So you see, as I am branded as bad from the beginning, it does
+not much matter what I do. My eyes are as green as pale emeralds, and
+long, and not going down at the corners with the Madonna expression of
+Cicely Parker, the vicar's daughter. I do not know yet what is being good,
+or being bad; perhaps I shall find out when I am an adventuress, or
+married to Mr. Carruthers.
+
+All I know is that I want to _live_, and feel the blood rushing through my
+veins. I want to do as I please, and not have to be polite when I am
+burning with rage. I want to be late in the morning if I happen to fancy
+sleeping, and I want to sit up at night if I don't want to go to bed! So,
+as you can do what you like when you are married, I really hope Mr.
+Carruthers will take a fancy to me, and then all will be well! I shall
+stay up-stairs until I hear the carriage wheels, and leave Mr. Barton--the
+lawyer--to receive him. Then I shall saunter down nonchalantly while they
+are in the hall. It will be an effective entrance. My trailing black
+garments, and the great broad stairs--this is a splendid house--and if he
+has an eye in his head he must see my foot on each step! Even Mrs.
+Carruthers said I have the best foot she had ever seen. I am getting quite
+excited--I shall ring for Veronique and begin to dress!... I shall write
+more presently.
+
+
+                                                     _Thursday evening._
+
+
+It is evening, and the fire is burning brightly in my sitting-room, where
+I am writing. _My_ sitting-room!--did I say? Mr. Carruthers's
+sitting-room, I meant--for it is mine no longer, and on Saturday, the day
+after to-morrow, I shall have to bid good-bye to it forever.
+
+For--yes, I may as well say it at once--the affair did not walk; Mr.
+Carruthers quietly, but firmly, refused to obey his aunt's will, and thus
+I am left an old maid!
+
+I must go back to this afternoon to make it clear, and I must say my ears
+tingle as I think of it.
+
+I rang for Veronique, and put on my new black afternoon frock, which had
+just been unpacked. I tucked in the violets in a careless way, saw that my
+hair was curling as vigorously as usual, and not too rebelliously for a
+demure appearance, and so, at exactly the right moment, began to descend
+the stairs.
+
+There was Mr. Carruthers in the hall. A horribly nice-looking, tall man,
+with a clean-shaven face and features cut out of stone, a square chin, and
+a nasty twinkle in the corner of his eye. He has a very distinguished
+look, and that air of never having had to worry for his things to fit;
+they appear as if they had grown on him. He has a cold, reserved manner,
+and something commanding and arrogant in it that makes one want to
+contradict him at once; but his voice is charming--one of that cultivated,
+refined kind, which sounds as if he spoke a number of languages, and so
+does not slur his words. I believe this is diplomatic, for some of the old
+ambassador people had this sort of voice.
+
+He was standing with his back to the fire, and the light of the big window
+with the sun getting low was full on his face, so I had a good look at
+him. I said in the beginning that there was no use pretending when one is
+writing one's own thoughts for one's own self to read when one is old, and
+keeping them in a locked-up journal, so I shall always tell the truth
+here--quite different things to what I should say if I were talking to
+some one and describing to them this scene. Then I should say I found him
+utterly unattractive, and, in fact, I hardly noticed him! As it was, I
+noticed him very much, and I have a tiresome inward conviction that he
+could be very attractive indeed, if he liked.
+
+He looked up, and I came forward with my best demure air as Mr. Barton
+nervously introduced us, and we shook hands. I left him to speak first.
+
+"Abominably cold day," he said, carelessly. That was English and
+promising!
+
+"Yes, indeed," I said. "You have just arrived?"
+
+And so we continued in this _banal_ way, with Mr. Barton twirling his
+thumbs, and hoping, one could see, that we should soon come to the
+business of the day; interposing a remark here and there which added to
+the _gene_ of the situation.
+
+At last Mr. Carruthers said to Mr. Barton that he would go round and see
+the house, and I said tea would be ready when they got back. And so they
+started.
+
+My cheeks would burn, and my hands were so cold, it was awkward and
+annoying--not half the simple affair I had thought it would be up-stairs.
+
+When it was quite dark and the lamps were brought, they came back to the
+hall, and Mr. Barton, saying he did not want any tea, left us to find
+papers in the library.
+
+I gave Mr. Carruthers some tea, and asked the usual things about sugar and
+cream. His eye had almost a look of contempt as he glanced at me, and I
+felt an angry throb in my throat. When he had finished he got up and stood
+before the fire again. Then, deliberately, as a man who has determined to
+do his duty at any cost, he began to speak.
+
+"You know the wish, or, rather, I should say, the command, my aunt left
+me," he said. "In fact, she states that she had always brought you up to
+the idea. It is rather a tiresome thing to discuss with a stranger, but
+perhaps we had better get it over as soon as possible, as that is what I
+came down here to-day for. The command was I should marry you." He paused
+a moment. I remained perfectly still, with my hands idly clasped in my
+lap, and made myself keep my eyes on his face.
+
+He continued, finding I did not answer, just a faint tone of resentment
+creeping into his voice--because I would not help him out, I suppose. I
+should think not! I loved annoying him!
+
+"It is a preposterous idea in these days for any one to dispose of
+people's destinies in this way, and I am sure you will agree with me that
+such a marriage would be impossible."
+
+"Of course I agree," I replied, lying with a tone of careless sincerity. I
+had to control all my real feelings of either anger or pleasure for so
+long in Mrs. Carruthers's presence that I am now an adept.
+
+"I am so glad you put it so plainly," I went on, sweetly. "I was wondering
+how I should write it to you, but now you are here it is quite easy for
+us to finish the matter at once. Whatever Mrs. Carruthers may have
+intended me to do, I had no intention of obeying her; but it would have
+been useless for me to say so to her, and so I waited until the time for
+speech should come. Won't you have some more tea?"
+
+He looked at me very straightly, almost angrily, for an instant;
+presently, with a sigh of relief, he said, half laughing:
+
+"Then we are agreed; we need say no more about it!"
+
+"No more," I answered; and I smiled, too, although a rage of anger was
+clutching my throat. I do not know who I was angry with--Mrs. Carruthers
+for procuring this situation, Christopher for being insensible to my
+charms, or myself for ever having contemplated for a second the
+possibility of his doing otherwise. Why, when one thinks of it calmly,
+should he want to marry me, a penniless adventuress with green eyes and
+red hair that he had never seen before in his life? I hoped he thought I
+was a person of naturally high color, because my cheeks from the moment I
+began to dress had been burning and burning. It might have given him the
+idea the scene was causing me some emotion, and that he should never know!
+
+He took some more tea, but he did not drink it, and by this I guessed
+that he also was not as calm as he looked!
+
+"There is something else," he said--and now there was almost an
+awkwardness in his voice--"something else which I want to say, though
+perhaps Mr. Barton could say it for me, but which I would rather say
+straight to you, and that is, you must let me settle such a sum of money
+on you as you had every right to expect from my aunt, after the promises I
+understand she always made to you----"
+
+This time I did not wait for him to finish. I bounded up from my seat,
+some uncontrollable sensation of wounded pride throbbing and thrilling
+through me.
+
+"Money! Money from you!" I exclaimed. "Not if I were starving." Then I sat
+down again, ashamed of this vehemence. How would he interpret it! But it
+galled me so--and yet I had been ready an hour ago to have accepted him as
+my husband! Why, then, this revolt at the idea of receiving a fair
+substitute in gold? Really, one is a goose, and I had time to realize,
+even in this tumult of emotion, that there can be nothing so inconsistent
+as the feelings of a girl.
+
+"You must not be foolish!" he said, coldly. "I intend to settle the money
+whether you will or no, so do not make any further trouble about it!"
+
+There was something in his voice so commanding and arrogant, just as I
+noticed at first, that every obstinate quality in my nature rose to answer
+him.
+
+"I do not know anything about the law in the matter; you may settle what
+you choose, but I shall never touch any of it," I said, as calmly as I
+could. "So it seems ridiculous to waste the money, does it not? You may
+not, perhaps, be aware I have enough of my own, and do not in any way
+require yours."
+
+He became colder and more exasperated.
+
+"As you please, then," he said, snappishly, and Mr. Barton fortunately
+entering at that moment, the conversation was cut short, and I left them.
+
+They are not going back to London until to-morrow morning, and dinner has
+yet to be got through. Oh, I do feel in a temper! and I can never tell of
+the emotions that were throbbing through me as I came up the great stairs
+just now. A sudden awakening to the humiliation of the situation! How had
+I ever been able to contemplate marrying a man I did not know, just to
+secure myself a comfortable home! It seems preposterous now. I suppose it
+was because I have always been brought up to the idea, and, until I came
+face to face with the man, it did not strike me as odd. Fortunately he can
+never guess that I had been willing to accept him; my dissimulation has
+stood me in good stead. Now I am animated by only one idea--to appear as
+agreeable and charming to Mr. Carruthers as possible. The aim and object
+of my life shall be to make him regret his decision. When I hear him
+imploring me to marry him, I shall regain a little of my self-respect! And
+as for marriage, I shall have nothing to do with the horrid affair! Oh,
+dear, no! I shall go away free and be a happy adventuress. I have read the
+_Trois Mousquetaires_ and _Vingt Ans Apres_--mademoiselle had them--and I
+remember milady had only three days to get round her jailer, starting with
+his hating her; whereas Mr. Carruthers does not hate me, so that counts
+against my only having one evening. I shall do my best!
+
+
+                                                       _Thursday night._
+
+
+I was down in the library, innocently reading a book, when Mr. Carruthers
+came in. He looked even better in evening dress, but he appeared
+ill-tempered, and no doubt found the situation unpleasant.
+
+"Is not this a beautiful house?" I said, in a velvet voice, to break the
+awkward silence, and show him I did not share his unease. "You had not
+seen it before, for ages, had you?"
+
+"Not since I was a boy," he answered, trying to be polite. "My aunt
+quarrelled with my father--she was the direct heiress of all this--and
+married her cousin, my father's younger brother--but you know the family
+history, of course----"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"They hated each other, she and my father."
+
+"Mrs. Carruthers hated all her relations," I said, demurely.
+
+"Myself among them?"
+
+"Yes," I said, slowly, and bent forward so that the lamplight should fall
+upon my hair. "She said you were too much like herself in character for
+you ever to be friends."
+
+"Is that a compliment?" he asked, and there was a twinkle in his eye.
+
+"We must speak no ill of the dead," I said, evasively.
+
+He looked slightly annoyed--as much as these diplomats ever let themselves
+look anything.
+
+"You are right," he said. "Let her rest in peace."
+
+There was silence for a moment.
+
+"What are you going to do with your life now?" he asked, presently. It was
+a bald question.
+
+"I shall become an adventuress," I answered, deliberately.
+
+"A _what_?" he exclaimed, his black eyebrows contracting.
+
+"An adventuress. Is not that what it is called? A person who sees life,
+and has to do the best she can for herself."
+
+He laughed. "You strange little lady!" he said, his irritation with me
+melting. And when he laughs you can see how even his teeth are; but the
+two side ones are sharp and pointed, like a wolf's.
+
+"Perhaps, after all, you had better have married me!"
+
+"No, that would clip my wings," I said, frankly, looking at him straight
+in the face.
+
+"Mr. Barton tells me you propose leaving here on Saturday. I beg you will
+not do so. Please consider it your home for so long as you wish--until
+you can make some arrangements for yourself. You look so very young to be
+going about the world alone!"
+
+He bent down and gazed at me closer--there was an odd tone in his voice.
+
+"I am twenty, and I have been often snubbed," I said, calmly. "That
+prepares one for a good deal. I shall enjoy doing what I please."
+
+"And what are you going to please?"
+
+"I shall go to Claridge's until I can look about me."
+
+He moved uneasily.
+
+"But have you no relations--no one who will take care of you?"
+
+"I believe none. My mother was nobody particular, you know--a Miss Tonkins
+by name."
+
+"But your father?" He sat down now on the sofa beside me; there was a
+puzzled, amused look in his face; perhaps I was amazing him.
+
+"Papa? Oh, papa was the last of his family. They were decent people, but
+there are no more of them."
+
+He pushed one of the cushions aside.
+
+"It is an impossible position for a girl--completely alone. I cannot allow
+it. I feel responsible for you. After all, it would do very well if you
+married me. I am not particularly domestic by nature, and should be very
+little at home, so you could live here and have a certain position, and I
+would come back now and then and see you were getting on all right."
+
+One could not say if he was mocking or no.
+
+"It is too good of you," I said, without any irony. "But I like freedom,
+and when you were at home it might be such a bore----"
+
+He leaned back and laughed merrily.
+
+"You are candid, at any rate!" he said.
+
+Mr. Barton came into the room at that moment, full of apologies at being
+late. Immediately after, with the usual ceremony, the butler entered and
+pompously announced, "Dinner is served, sir." How quickly they recognize
+the new master!
+
+Mr. Carruthers gave me his arm, and we walked slowly down the
+picture-gallery to the banqueting-hall, and there sat down at the small,
+round table in the middle, that always looks like an island in a lake.
+
+I talked nicely at dinner. I was dignified and grave, and quite frank. Mr.
+Carruthers was not bored. The chef had outdone himself, hoping to be kept
+on. I never felt so excited in my life.
+
+I was apparently asleep under a big lamp, after dinner, in the library, a
+book of silly poetry in my lap, when the door opened and he--Mr.
+Carruthers--came in alone, and walked up the room. I did not open my
+eyes. He looked for just a minute--how accurate I am! Then he said, "You
+are very pretty when asleep!"
+
+His voice was not caressing or complimentary--merely as if the fact had
+forced this utterance.
+
+I allowed myself to wake without a start.
+
+"Was the '47 port as good as you hoped?" I asked, sympathetically.
+
+He sat down. I had arranged my chair so that there was none other in its
+immediate neighborhood. Thus he was some way off, and could realize my
+whole silhouette.
+
+"The '47 port? Oh yes; but I am not going to talk of port. I want you to
+tell me a lot more about yourself, and your plans----"
+
+"I have no plans--except to see the world."
+
+He picked up a book and put it down again; he was not perfectly calm.
+
+"I don't think I shall let you. I am more than ever convinced you ought to
+have some one to take care of you--you are not of the type that makes it
+altogether safe to roam about alone."
+
+"Oh! as for my type," I said, languidly, "I know all about that. Mrs.
+Carruthers said no one with this combination of color could be good, so I
+am not going to try. It will be quite simple."
+
+He rose quickly from his chair and stood in front of the great log fire,
+such a comical expression on his face.
+
+"You are the quaintest child I have ever met," he said.
+
+"I am not a child, and I mean to know everything I can."
+
+He went over towards the sofa again and arranged the cushions--great,
+splendid, fat pillows of old Italian brocade, stiff with gold and silver.
+
+"Come!" he pleaded. "Sit here beside me, and let us talk; you are miles
+away there, and I want to--make you see reason."
+
+I rose at once and came slowly to where he pointed. I settled myself
+deliberately. There was one cushion of purple and silver right under the
+light, and there I rested my head.
+
+"Now talk!" I said, and half closed my eyes.
+
+Oh, I was enjoying myself! The first time I have ever been alone with a
+real man! They--the old ambassadors and politicians and generals--used
+always to tell me I should grow into an attractive woman--now I meant to
+try what I could do.
+
+Mr. Carruthers remained silent, but he sat down beside me, and looked and
+looked right into my eyes.
+
+"Now talk, then," I said again.
+
+"Do you know, you are a very disturbing person," he said, at last, by way
+of a beginning.
+
+"What is that?" I asked.
+
+"It is a woman who confuses one's thoughts when one looks at her. I do not
+now seem to have anything to say, or too much----"
+
+"You called me a child."
+
+"I should have called you an enigma."
+
+I assured him I was not the least complex, and that I only wanted
+everything simple, and to be left in peace, without having to get married
+or worry to obey people.
+
+We had a nice talk.
+
+"You won't leave here on Saturday," he said, presently, apropos of
+nothing. "I do not think I shall go myself to-morrow. I want you to show
+me all over the gardens, and your favorite haunts."
+
+"To-morrow I shall be busy packing," I said, gravely, "and I do not think
+I want to show you the gardens; there are some corners I rather loved; I
+believe it will hurt a little to say good-bye."
+
+Just then Mr. Barton came into the room, fussy and ill at ease. Mr.
+Carruthers's face hardened again, and I rose to say good-night.
+
+As he opened the door for me--"Promise you will come down to give me my
+coffee in the morning," he said.
+
+"Qui vivra verra," I answered, and sauntered out into the hall. He
+followed me, and watched as I went up the staircase.
+
+"Good-night!" I called, softly, as I got to the top, and laughed a
+little--I don't know why.
+
+He bounded up the stairs, three steps at a time, and before I could turn
+the handle of my door he stood beside me.
+
+"I do not know what there is about you," he said, "but you drive me mad. I
+shall insist upon carrying out my aunt's wish, after all! I shall marry
+you, and never let you out of my sight--do you hear?"
+
+Oh, such a strange sense of exaltation crept over me--it is with me still!
+Of course, he probably will not mean all that to-morrow, but to have made
+such a stiff block of stone rush up-stairs and say this much now is
+perfectly delightful!
+
+I looked at him up from under my eyelashes. "No, you will not marry me," I
+said, calmly, "or do anything else I don't like; and now, really,
+good-night," and I slipped into my room and closed the door. I could hear
+he did not stir for some seconds. Then he went off down the stairs again,
+and I am alone with my thoughts!
+
+My thoughts! I wonder what they mean! What did I do that had this effect
+upon him? I intended to do something, and I did it, but I am not quite
+sure what it was. However, that is of no consequence. Sufficient for me to
+know that my self-respect is restored and I can now go out and see the
+world with a clear conscience.
+
+_He_ has asked me to marry him--and _I_ have said I won't!
+
+
+
+
+                                                       BRANCHES PARK,[1]
+
+                                          Thursday night, _November 3._
+
+
+    DEAR BOB,--
+
+    A quaint thing has happened to me! Came down here to take over the
+    place, and to say decidedly I would not marry Miss Travers, and I
+    find her with red hair and a skin like milk, and a pair of green
+    eyes that look at you from a forest of black eyelashes with a
+    thousand unsaid challenges. I should not wonder if I commit some
+    folly. One has read of women like this in the _cinque-cento_ time in
+    Italy, but up to now I had never met one. She is not in the room ten
+    minutes before one feels a sense of unrest, and desire for one
+    hardly knows what--principally to touch her, I fancy. Good Lord!
+    what a skin! pure milk and rare roses--and the reddest Cupid's bow
+    of a mouth! You had better come down at once (these things are
+    probably in your line) to save me from some sheer idiocy. The
+    situation is exceptional--she and I practically alone in the house,
+    for old Barton does not count. She had nowhere to go, and as far as
+    I can make out has not a friend in the world. I suppose I ought to
+    leave. I will try to on Monday; but come down to-morrow by the 4.00
+    train.
+
+                                       Yours,
+
+                                           CHRISTOPHER.
+
+    P. S.--'47 port A1, and two or three brands of the old aunt's
+    champagne exceptional, Barton says--we can sample them. Shall send
+    this up by express; you will get it in time for the 4.00 train.
+
+
+[Footnote 1: A letter from Mr. Carruthers which came into Evangeline's
+possession later, and which she put into her journal at this
+place.--EDITOR'S NOTE.]
+
+
+
+
+                                                             BRANCHES,
+
+                                         Friday night, _November 4th._
+
+
+This morning Mr. Carruthers had his coffee alone. Mr. Barton and I
+breakfasted quite early, before nine o'clock, and just as I was calling
+the dogs in the hall for a run, with my out-door things already on, Mr.
+Carruthers came down the great stairs with a frown on his face.
+
+"Up so early!" he said. "Are you not going to pour out my tea for me,
+then?"
+
+"I thought you said coffee! No, I am going out," and I went on down the
+corridor, the wolf-hounds following me.
+
+"You are not a kind hostess!" he called after me.
+
+"I am not a hostess at all," I answered back--"only a guest."
+
+He followed me. "Then you are a very casual guest, not consulting the
+pleasure of your host."
+
+I said nothing. I only looked at him over my shoulder as I went down the
+marble steps--looked at him and laughed, as on the night before.
+
+He turned back into the house without a word, and I did not see him again
+until just before luncheon.
+
+There is something unpleasant about saying good-bye to a place, and I
+found I had all sorts of sensations rising in my throat at various points
+in my walk. However, all that is ridiculous and must be forgotten. As I
+was coming round the corner of the terrace, a great gust of wind nearly
+blew me into Mr. Carruthers's arms. Odious weather we are having this
+autumn!
+
+"Where have you been all the morning?" he said, when we had recovered
+ourselves a little. "I have searched for you all over the place."
+
+"You do not know it all yet, or you would have found me," I said,
+pretending to walk on.
+
+"No, you shall not go now!" he exclaimed, pacing beside me. "Why won't you
+be amiable, and make me feel at home?"
+
+"I do apologize if I have been unamiable," I said, with great frankness.
+"Mrs. Carruthers always brought me up to have such good manners."
+
+After that he talked to me for half an hour about the place.
+
+He seemed to have forgotten his vehemence of the night before. He asked
+all sorts of questions, and showed a sentiment and a delicacy I should not
+have expected from his hard face. I was quite sorry when the gong sounded
+for luncheon and we went in.
+
+I have no settled plan in my head. I seem to be drifting--tasting for the
+first time some power over another human being. It gave me delicious
+thrills to see his eagerness when contrasted with the dry refusal of my
+hand only the day before.
+
+At lunch I addressed myself to Mr. Barton; he was too flattered at my
+attention, and continued to chatter garrulously.
+
+The rain came on and poured and beat against the window-panes with a
+sudden, angry thud. No chance of further walks abroad. I escaped up-stairs
+while the butler was speaking to Mr. Carruthers, and began helping
+Veronique to pack. Chaos and desolation it all seemed in my cosey rooms.
+
+While I was on my knees in front of a great wooden box, hopelessly trying
+to stow away books, a crisp tap came to the door, and without more ado my
+host--yes, he is that now--entered the room.
+
+"Good Lord! what is all this?" he exclaimed. "What are you doing?"
+
+"Packing," I said, not getting up.
+
+He made an impatient gesture.
+
+"Nonsense!" he said. "There is no need to pack. I tell you I will not let
+you go. I am going to marry you and keep you here always."
+
+I sat down on the floor and began to laugh.
+
+"You think so, do you?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"You can't force me to marry you, you know--can you? I want to see the
+world. I don't want any tiresome man bothering after me. If I ever do
+marry, it will be because--oh, because--" and I stopped and began fiddling
+with the cover of a book.
+
+"What?"
+
+"Mrs. Carruthers said it was so foolish--but I believe I should prefer to
+marry some one I liked. Oh, I know you think that silly--" and I stopped
+him as he was about to speak--"but of course, as it does not last, anyway,
+it might be good for a little to begin like that--don't you think so?"
+
+He looked round the room, and on through the wide-open double doors into
+my dainty bedroom, where Veronique was still packing.
+
+"You are very cosey here; it is absurd of you to leave it," he said.
+
+I got up off the floor and went to the window and back. I don't know why I
+felt moved--a sudden sense of the cosiness came over me. The world looked
+wet and bleak outside.
+
+"Why do you say you want me to marry you, Mr. Carruthers?" I said. "You
+are joking, of course."
+
+"I am not joking. I am perfectly serious. I am ready to carry out my
+aunt's wishes. It can be no new idea to you, and you must have worldly
+sense enough to realize it would be the best possible solution of your
+future. I can show you the world, you know."
+
+He appeared to be extraordinarily good-looking as he stood there, his face
+to the dying light. Supposing I took him at his word, after all!
+
+"But what has suddenly changed your ideas since yesterday? You told me you
+had come down to make it clear to me that you could not possibly obey her
+orders."
+
+"That was yesterday," he said. "I had not really seen you--to-day I think
+differently."
+
+"It is just because you are sorry for me; I suppose I seem so lonely," I
+whispered, demurely.
+
+"It is perfectly impossible, what you propose to do--to go and live by
+yourself at a London hotel--the idea drives me mad."
+
+"It will be delightful--no one to order me about from day to night!"
+
+"Listen," he said, and he flung himself into an arm-chair. "You can marry
+me, and I will take you to Paris, or where you want, and I won't order you
+about--only I shall keep the other beasts of men from looking at you."
+
+But I told him at once that I thought that would be very dull. "I have
+never had the chance of any one looking at me," I said, "and I want to
+feel what it is like. Mrs. Carruthers always assured me I was very pretty,
+you know, only she said that I was certain to come to a bad end, because
+of my type, unless I got married at once, and then if my head was screwed
+on it would not matter; but I don't agree with her."
+
+He walked up and down the room impatiently.
+
+"That is just it," he said. "I would rather be the first--I would rather
+you began by me. I am strong enough to ward off the rest."
+
+"What does 'beginning by you' mean?" I asked, with great candor. "Old Lord
+Bentworth said I should begin with him, when he was here to shoot
+pheasants last autumn; he said it could not matter, he was so old; but I
+didn't----"
+
+Mr. Carruthers bounded up from his chair.
+
+"You didn't what! Good Lord! what did he want you to do?" he asked,
+aghast.
+
+"Well," I said, and I looked down for a moment; I felt stupidly shy. "He
+wanted me to kiss him."
+
+Mr. Carruthers looked almost relieved. It was strange.
+
+"The old wretch! Nice company my aunt seems to have kept!" he exclaimed.
+"Could she not take better care of you than that--to let you be insulted
+by her guests?"
+
+"I don't think Lord Bentworth meant to insult me. He only said he had
+never seen such a red, curly mouth as mine; and as I was bound to go to
+the devil some day with that, and such hair, I might begin by kissing
+him--he explained it all."
+
+"And were you not very angry?" his voice wrathful.
+
+"No, not very; I could not be, I was shaking so with laughter. If you
+could have seen the silly old thing, like a wizened monkey, with dyed hair
+and an eye-glass--it was too comic! I only told you because you said the
+sentence 'begin with you,' and I wanted to know if it was the same
+thing----"
+
+Mr. Carruthers's eyes had such a strange expression--puzzle and amusement,
+and something else. He came over close to me.
+
+"Because," I went on, "if so--I believe if that is always the beginning, I
+don't want any beginnings. I haven't the slightest desire to kiss any one.
+I should simply hate it."
+
+Mr. Carruthers laughed. "Oh, you are only a baby child, after all!" he
+said.
+
+This annoyed me. I got up with great dignity. "Tea will be ready in the
+white drawing-room," I said, stiffly, and walked towards my bedroom door.
+
+He came after me.
+
+"Send your maid away, and let us have it up here," he said. "I like this
+room."
+
+But I was not to be appeased thus easily, and deliberately called
+Veronique and gave her fresh directions.
+
+"Poor old Mr. Barton will be feeling so lonely," I said, as I went out
+into the passage. "I am going to see that he has a nice tea," and I looked
+back at Mr. Carruthers over my shoulder. Of course, he followed me, and we
+went together down the stairs.
+
+In the hall a footman with a telegram met us. He tore it open impatiently.
+Then he looked quite annoyed.
+
+"I hope you won't mind," he said, "but a friend of mine, Lord Robert
+Vavasour, is arriving this afternoon. He is a--er--great judge of
+pictures. I forgot I asked him to come down and look at them; it clean
+went out of my head."
+
+I told him he was host, and why should I object to what guests he had.
+
+"Besides, I am going myself to-morrow," I said, "if Veronique can get the
+packing done."
+
+"Nonsense! How can I make you understand that I do not mean to let you go
+at all?"
+
+I did not answer--only looked at him defiantly.
+
+Mr. Barton was waiting patiently for us in the white drawing-room, and we
+had not been munching muffins for five minutes when the sound of wheels
+crunching the gravel of the great sweep--the windows of this room look out
+that way--interrupted our made conversation.
+
+"This must be Bob arriving," Mr. Carruthers said, and went reluctantly
+into the hall to meet his guest.
+
+They came back together presently, and he introduced Lord Robert to me.
+
+I felt at once he was rather a pet. Such a shape! Just like the Apollo
+Belvedere! I do love that look, with a tiny waist and nice shoulders, and
+looking as if he were as lithe as a snake, and yet could break pokers in
+half like Mr. Rochester in _Jane Eyre_.
+
+He has great, big, sleepy eyes of blue, and rather a plaintive expression,
+and a little fairish mustache turned up at the corners, and the nicest
+mouth one ever saw; and when you see him moving, and the back of his head,
+it makes you think all the time of a beautifully groomed thorough-bred
+horse. I don't know why. At once--in a minute--when we looked at each
+other, I felt I should like "Bob." He has none of Mr. Carruthers's
+cynical, hard expression, and I am sure he can't be nearly as old--not
+more than twenty-seven or so.
+
+He seemed perfectly at home--sat down and had tea, and talked in the most
+casual, friendly way. Mr. Carruthers appeared to freeze up, Mr. Barton got
+more _banal_, and the whole thing entertained me immensely.
+
+I often used to long for adventures in the old days with Mrs. Carruthers,
+and here I am really having them!
+
+Such a situation! I am sure people would think it most improper! I alone
+in the house with these three men! I felt I really would have to go--but
+where?
+
+Meanwhile I have every intention of amusing myself.
+
+Lord Robert and I seemed to have a hundred things to say to each other. I
+do like his voice--and he is so perfectly _sans gene_ it makes no
+difficulties. By the end of tea we were as old friends. Mr. Carruthers got
+more and more polite and stiff, and finally jumped up and hurried his
+guest off to the smoking-room.
+
+I put on such a duck of a frock for dinner--one of the sweetest,
+chastened simplicity, in black, showing peeps of skin through the thin
+part at the top. Nothing could be more demure or becoming, and my hair
+would not behave, and stuck out in rebellious waves and curls everywhere.
+
+I thought it would be advisable not to be in too good time, so sauntered
+down after I knew dinner was announced.
+
+They were both standing on the hearth-rug. I always forget to count Mr.
+Barton; he was in some chair, I suppose, but I did not notice him.
+
+Mr. Carruthers is the taller--about one inch. He must be a good deal over
+six feet, because the other one is very tall, too; but now that one saw
+them together, Mr. Carruthers's figure appeared stiff and set besides Lord
+Robert's, and he hasn't got nearly such a little waist. But they really
+are lovely creatures, both of them, and I don't yet know which I like
+best.
+
+We had such an engaging time at dinner! I was as provoking as I could be
+in the time, sympathetically, absorbingly interested in Mr. Barton's long
+stories, and only looking at the other two now and then from under my
+eyelashes; while I talked in the best demure fashion that I am sure even
+Lady Katherine Montgomerie--a neighbor of ours--would have approved of.
+
+They should not be able to say I could not chaperone myself in any
+situation.
+
+"Dam good port this, Christopher," Lord Robert said, when the '47 was
+handed round. "Is this what you asked me down to sample?"
+
+"I thought it was to give your opinion about the pictures?" I exclaimed,
+surprised. "Mr. Carruthers said you were a great judge."
+
+They looked at each other.
+
+"Oh--ah--yes," said Lord Robert, lying transparently. "Pictures are
+awfully interesting. Will you show me them after dinner?"
+
+"The light is too dim for a connoisseur to investigate them properly," I
+said.
+
+"I shall have it all lit by electricity as soon as possible; I wrote about
+it to-day," Mr. Carruthers announced, sententiously. "But I will show you
+the pictures myself, to-morrow, Bob."
+
+This at once decided me to take Lord Robert round to-night, and I told him
+so in a velvet voice while Mr. Barton was engaging Christopher's
+attention.
+
+They stayed such a long time in the dining-room after I left that I was on
+my way to bed when they came out into the hall, and could with difficulty
+be persuaded to remain--for a few moments.
+
+"I am too awfully sorry," Lord Robert said. "I could not get away. I do
+not know what possessed Christopher; he would sample ports, and talked the
+hind-leg off a donkey, till at last I said to him straight out I wanted to
+come to you. So here I am. Now you won't go to bed, will you?--please,
+please."
+
+He has such pleading blue eyes, imploring pathetically, like a baby in
+distress, it is quite impossible to resist him--and we started down the
+gallery.
+
+Of course, he did not know the difference between a Canaletto and a
+Turner, and hardly made a pretence of being interested; in fact, when we
+got to the end where the early Italians hang, and I was explaining the
+wonderful texture of a Madonna, he said:
+
+"They all look sea-sick and out of shape. Don't you think we might sit in
+that comfy window-seat and talk of something else?" Then he told me he
+loved pictures, but not this sort.
+
+"I like people to look human, you know, even on canvas," he said. "All
+these ladies appear as if they were getting enteric, like people used in
+Africa; and I don't like their halos and things; and all the men are old
+and bald. But you must not think me a Goth. You will teach me their
+points, won't you?--and then I shall love them."
+
+I said I did not care a great deal for them myself, except the color.
+
+"Oh, I am so glad!" he said. "I should like to find we admired the same
+things; but no picture could interest me as much as your hair. It is the
+loveliest thing I have ever seen, and you do it so beautifully."
+
+That did please me. He has the most engaging ways--Lord Robert--and he is
+very well informed, not stupid a bit, or thick, only absolutely simple and
+direct. We talked softly together, quite happy for a while.
+
+Then Mr. Carruthers got rid of Mr. Barton and came towards us. I settled
+myself more comfortably on the velvet cushions. Purple velvet cushions and
+curtains in this gallery, good old relics of early Victorian taste. Lots
+of the house is awful, but these curtains always please me.
+
+Mr. Carruthers's face was as stern as a stone bust of Augustus Caesar. I am
+sure the monks in the Inquisition looked like that. I do wonder what he
+was going to say, but Lord Robert did not give him time.
+
+"Do go away, Christopher," he said. "Miss Travers is going to teach me
+things about Italian Madonnas, and I can't keep my attention if there is a
+third person about."
+
+I suppose if Mr. Carruthers had not been a diplomat he would have sworn,
+but I believe that kind of education makes you able to put your face how
+you like, so he smiled sweetly and took a chair near.
+
+"I shall not leave you, Bob," he said. "I do not consider you are a good
+companion for Miss Evangeline. I am responsible for her, and I am going to
+take care of her."
+
+"Then you should not have asked him here if he is not a respectable
+person," I said, innocently. "But Italian Madonnas ought to chasten and
+elevate his thoughts. Anyway, your responsibility towards me is
+self-constituted. I am the only person whom I mean to obey," and I settled
+myself deliberately in the velvet pillows.
+
+"Not a good companion!" exclaimed Lord Robert. "What dam cheek,
+Christopher! I have not my equal in the whole Household Cavalry, as you
+know."
+
+They both laughed, and we continued to talk in a sparring way--Mr.
+Carruthers sharp and subtle, and fine as a sword-blade; Lord Robert
+downright and simple, with an air of a puzzled baby.
+
+When I thought they were both wanting me very much to stay, I got up and
+said good-night.
+
+They both came down the gallery with me, and insisted upon each lighting a
+candle from the row of burnished silver candlesticks in the hall, which
+they presented to me with great mock-homage. It annoyed me--I don't know
+why--and I suddenly froze up and declined them both, while I said
+good-night again stiffly, and walked in my most stately manner up the
+stairs.
+
+I could see Lord Robert's eyebrows puckered into a more plaintive
+expression than ever while he let the beautiful silver candlestick hang,
+dropping the grease onto the polished oak floor.
+
+Mr. Carruthers stood quite still, and put his light back on the table. His
+face was cynical and rather amused. I can't say what irritation I felt,
+and immediately decided to leave on the morrow--but where to, fate or the
+devil could only know.
+
+When I got to my room a lump came in my throat. Veronique had gone to bed,
+tired out with her day's packing.
+
+I suddenly felt utterly alone--all the exaltation gone. For the moment I
+hated the two down-stairs. I felt the situation equivocal and untenable,
+and it had amused me so much an hour ago.
+
+It is stupid and silly, and makes one's nose red, but I felt like crying a
+little before I got into bed.
+
+
+
+
+                                                               BRANCHES,
+
+                                     Saturday afternoon, _November 5th._
+
+
+This morning I woke with a headache, to see the rain beating against my
+windows, and mist and fog--a fitting day for the 5th of November. I would
+not go down to breakfast. Veronique brought me mine to my sitting-room
+fire, and, with Spartan determination, I packed steadily all the morning.
+
+About twelve a note came up from Lord Robert. I put it in.
+
+
+    DEAR MISS TRAVERS,--
+
+    Why are you hiding? Was I a bore last night? Do forgive me
+    and come down. Has Christopher locked you in your room?
+    I will murder the brute if he has!
+
+                         Yours very sincerely,
+
+                                ROBERT VAVASOUR.
+
+
+"Can't; I am packing," I scribbled in pencil on the envelope, and gave
+it back to Charles, who was waiting in the hall for the answer. Two
+minutes after, Lord Robert walked into the room, the door of which the
+footman had left open.
+
+"I have come to help you," he said, in that voice of his that sounds so
+sure of a welcome you can't snub him. "But where are you going?"
+
+"I don't know," I said, a little forlornly, and then bent down and
+vigorously collected photographs.
+
+"Oh, but you can't go to London by yourself!" he said, aghast. "Look
+here, I will come up with you, and take you to my aunt, Lady Merrenden.
+She is such a dear, and I am sure when I have told her all about you she
+will be delighted to take care of you for some days until you can hunt
+round."
+
+He looked such a boy, and his face was so kind, I was touched.
+
+"Oh no, Lord Robert! I cannot do that, but I thank you. I don't want to
+be under an obligation to any one," I said, firmly. "Mr. Carruthers
+suggests a way out of the difficulty--that I should marry him, and stay
+here. I don't think he means it, really, but he pretends he does."
+
+He sat down on the edge of a table already laden with books, most of
+which overbalanced and fell crash on the floor.
+
+"So Christopher wants you to marry him--the old fox?" he said,
+apparently oblivious of the wreck of literature he had caused. "But you
+won't do that, will you? And yet I have no business to say that. He is a
+dam good friend, Christopher."
+
+"I am sure you ought not to swear so often, Lord Robert; it shocks me,
+brought up as I have been," I said, with the air of a little angel.
+
+"Do I swear?" he asked, surprised. "Oh no, I don't think so--at least,
+there is no 'n' to the end of the 'dams,' so they are only an innocent
+ornament to conversation. But I won't do it, if you don't wish me to."
+
+After that he helped me with the books, and was so merry and kind I soon
+felt cheered up, and by lunchtime all were finished and in the boxes
+ready to be tied up and taken away. Veronique, too, had made great
+progress in the adjoining room, and was standing stiff and _maussade_ by
+my dressing-table when I came in. She spoke respectfully in French, and
+asked me if I had made my plans yet, for, as she explained to me, her
+own position seemed precarious, and yet, having been with me for five
+years, she did not feel she could leave me at a juncture like this. At
+the same time she hoped mademoiselle would make some suitable decision,
+as she feared, respectfully, it was "une si drole de position pour une
+demoiselle du monde," alone with "ces messieurs."
+
+I could not be angry; it was quite true what she said.
+
+"I shall go up this evening to Claridge's, Veronique," I assured
+her--"by about the 5.15 train. We will wire to them after luncheon."
+
+She seemed comforted, but she added--in the abstract--that a rich
+marriage was what was obviously mademoiselle's fate, and she felt sure
+great happiness and many jewels would await mademoiselle if mademoiselle
+could be persuaded to make up her mind. Nothing is sacred from one's
+maid. She knew all about Mr. Carruthers, of course. Poor old Veronique!
+I have a big, warm corner for her in my heart. Sometimes she treats me
+with the frigid respect one would pay to a queen, and at others I am
+almost her _enfant_, so tender and motherly she is to me. And she puts
+up with all my tempers and moods, and pets me like a baby just when I am
+the worst of all.
+
+Lord Robert had left me reluctantly when the luncheon gong sounded.
+
+"Haven't we been happy?" he said, taking it for granted I felt the same
+as he did. This is a very engaging quality of his, and makes one feel
+sympathetic, especially when he looks into one's eyes with his sleepy
+blue ones. He has lashes as long and curly as a gypsy's baby.
+
+Mr. Carruthers was alone in the dining-room when I got in; he was
+looking out of the window, and turned round sharply as I came up the
+room. I am sure he would like to have been killing flies on the panes if
+he had been a boy. His eyes were steel.
+
+"Where have you been all the time?" he asked, when he had shaken hands
+and said good-morning.
+
+"Up in my room, packing," I said, simply. "Lord Robert was so kind he
+helped me. We have got everything done; and may I order the carriage for
+the 5.15 train, please?"
+
+"Certainly not. Confound Lord Robert!" Mr. Carruthers said. "What
+business is it of his? You are not to go. I won't let you. Dear, silly
+little child!--" his voice was quite moved. "You can't possibly go out
+into the world all alone. Evangeline, why won't you marry me? I--do you
+know, I believe--I shall love you----"
+
+"I should have to be _perfectly sure_ that the person I married loved
+me, Mr. Carruthers," I said, demurely, "before I consented to finish up
+my life like that."
+
+He had no time to answer, for Mr. Barton and Lord Robert came into the
+room.
+
+There seemed a gloom over luncheon. There were pauses, and Lord Robert
+had a more pathetic expression than ever. His hands are a nice
+shape--but so are Mr. Carruthers's; they both look very much like
+gentlemen.
+
+Before we had finished, a note was brought in to me. It was from Lady
+Katherine Montgomerie. She was too sorry, she said, to hear of my lonely
+position, and she was writing to ask if I would not come over and spend
+a fortnight with them at Tryland Court.
+
+It was not well worded, and I had never cared much for Lady Katherine,
+but it was fairly kind, and fitted in perfectly with my plans.
+
+She had probably heard of Mr. Carruthers's arrival, and was scandalized
+at my being alone in the house with him.
+
+Both men had their eyes fixed on my face when I looked up, as I finished
+reading the note.
+
+"Lady Katherine Montgomerie writes to ask me to Tryland," I said. "So if
+you will excuse me I will answer it, and say I will come this
+afternoon," and I got up.
+
+Mr. Carruthers rose, too, and followed me into the library. He
+deliberately shut the door and came over to the writing-table where I
+sat down.
+
+"Well, if I let you go, will you tell her then that you are engaged to
+me, and I am going to marry you as soon as possible?"
+
+"No, indeed I won't," I said, decidedly. "I am not going to marry you,
+or any one, Mr. Carruthers. What do you think of me? Fancy my consenting
+to come back here forever, and live with you, when I don't know you a
+bit! And having to put up with your--perhaps--kissing me,
+and--and--things of that sort. It is perfectly dreadful to think of!"
+
+He laughed as if in spite of himself. "But supposing I promised not to
+kiss you?"
+
+"Even so," I said, and I couldn't help biting the end of my pen. "It
+could happen that I might get a feeling I wanted to kiss some one
+else--and there it is! Once you're married, everything nice is wrong!"
+
+"Evangeline! I won't let you go--out of my life--you strange little
+witch! You have upset me, disturbed me--I can settle to nothing. I seem
+to want you so very much."
+
+"Pouf!" I said, and I pouted at him.
+
+"You have everything in your life to fill it--position, riches, friends.
+You don't want a green-eyed adventuress."
+
+I bent down and wrote steadily to Lady Katherine. I would be there about
+six o'clock, I said, and thanked her in my best style.
+
+"If I let you go, it is only for the time," Mr. Carruthers said as I
+signed my name. "I _intend_ you to marry me--do you hear?"
+
+"Again I say, 'Qui vivre verra!'" I laughed and rose with the note in my
+hand.
+
+Lord Robert looked almost ready to cry when I told him I was off in the
+afternoon.
+
+"I shall see you again," he said. "Lady Katherine is a relation of my
+aunt's husband, Lord Merrenden. I don't know her myself, though."
+
+I do not believe him. How can he see me again? Young men do talk a lot
+of nonsense!
+
+"I shall come over on Wednesday to see how you are getting on," Mr.
+Carruthers said. "Please do be in."
+
+I promised I would, and then I came up-stairs.
+
+And so it has come to an end, my life at Branches. I am going to start a
+new phase of existence, my first beginning as an adventuress!
+
+How completely all one's ideas can change in a few days! This day three
+weeks ago Mrs. Carruthers was alive. This day two weeks ago I found
+myself no longer a prospective heiress, and only three days ago I was
+contemplating calmly the possibility of marrying Mr. Carruthers; and
+now, for heaven, I would not marry any one! And so, for fresh woods and
+pastures new! Oh, I want to see the world, and lots of different human
+beings; I want to know what it is makes the clock go round--that great
+big clock of life. I want to dance and to sing and to laugh, and to
+_live_--and--and--yes, perhaps some day to kiss some one I love!
+
+
+
+
+                                              TRYLAND COURT HEADINGTON,
+
+                                             Wednesday, _November 9th._
+
+
+Goodness gracious! I have been here four whole days, and I continually ask
+myself how I shall be able to stand it for the rest of the fortnight.
+Before I left Branches, I began to have a sinking at the heart. There were
+horribly touching farewells with housekeepers and people I have known
+since a child, and one hates to have that choky feeling, especially as
+just at the end of it, while tears were still in my eyes, Mr. Carruthers
+came out into the hall and saw them; so did Lord Robert!
+
+I blinked and blinked, but one would trickle down my nose. It was a
+horribly awkward moment.
+
+Mr. Carruthers made profuse inquiries as to my comforts for the drive, in
+a tone colder than ever, and insisted upon my drinking some cherry brandy.
+Such fussing is quite unlike his usual manner, so I suppose he, too, felt
+it was a tiresome _quart d'heure_. Lord Robert did not hide his concern;
+he came up to me and took my hand while Christopher was speaking to the
+footman who was going with me.
+
+"You are a dear," he said, "and a brick, and don't you forget I shall come
+and stay with Lady Katherine before you leave, so you won't feel you are
+all among strangers."
+
+I thanked him, and he squeezed my hand so kindly. I do like Lord Robert.
+
+Very soon I was gay again and _insouciante_, and the last they saw of me
+was smiling out of the brougham window as I drove off in the dusk. They
+both stood upon the steps and waved to me.
+
+Tea was over at Tryland when I arrived--such a long, damp drive! And I
+explained to Lady Katherine how sorry I was to have had to come so late,
+and that I could not think of troubling her to have up fresh for me; but
+she insisted, and after a while a whole new lot came, made in a hurry with
+the water not boiling, and I had to gulp down a nasty cup--Ceylon tea,
+too! I hate Ceylon tea! Mr. Montgomerie warmed himself before the fire,
+quite shielding it from us, who shivered on a row of high-backed chairs
+beyond the radius of the hearth-rug.
+
+He has a way of puffing out his cheeks and making a noise like "Burrrr,"
+which sounds very bluff and hearty until you find he has said a mean thing
+about some one directly after. And while red hair looks very well on me, I
+do think a man with it is the ugliest thing in creation. His face is red,
+and his nose and cheeks almost purple, and fiery whiskers, fierce enough
+to frighten a cat in a dark lane.
+
+He was a rich Scotch manufacturer, and poor Lady Katherine had to marry
+him, I suppose; though, as she is Scotch herself, I dare say she does not
+notice that he is rather coarse.
+
+There are two sons and six daughters--one married, four grown-up, and one
+at school in Brussels--and all with red hair! But straight and coarse, and
+with freckles and white eyelashes. So, really, it is very kind of Lady
+Katherine to have asked me here.
+
+They are all as good as gold on top, and one does poker-work, and another
+binds books, and a third embroiders altar-cloths, and the fourth knits
+ties--all for charities, and they ask every one to subscribe to them
+directly they come to the house. The tie and the altar-cloth ones were
+sitting working hard in the drawing-room--Kirstie and Jean are their
+names; Jessie and Maggie, the poker-worker and the bookbinder, have a
+sitting-room to themselves--their work-shop they call it. They were there
+still, I suppose, for I did not see them until dinner. We used to meet
+once a year at Mrs. Carruthers's Christmas parties ever since ages and
+ages, and I remember I hated their tartan sashes, and they generally had
+colds in their heads, and one year they gave every one mumps, so they
+were not asked the next. The altar-cloth one, Jean, is my age, the other
+three are older.
+
+It was really very difficult to find something to say, and I can quite
+understand common people fidgeting when they feel worried like this. I
+have never fidgeted since eight years ago, the last time Mrs. Carruthers
+boxed my ears for it. Just before going up to dress for dinner Mr.
+Montgomerie asked blank out if it was true that Mr. Carruthers had
+arrived. Lady Katherine had been skirting round this subject for a quarter
+of an hour.
+
+I only said yes, but that was not enough, and, once started, he asked a
+string of questions, with "Burrrr" several times in between. Was Mr.
+Carruthers going to shoot the pheasants in November? Had he decided to
+keep on the chef? Had he given up diplomacy? I said I really did not know
+any of these things, I had seen so little of him.
+
+Lady Katherine nodded her head, while she measured a comforter she was
+knitting, to see if it was long enough.
+
+"I am sure it must have been most awkward for you, his arriving at all; it
+was not very good taste on his part, I am afraid, but I suppose he wished
+to see his inheritance as soon as possible," she said.
+
+I nearly laughed, thinking what she would say if she knew which part of
+his inheritance he had really come to see. I do wonder if she has ever
+heard that Mrs. Carruthers left me to him, more or less, in her will!
+
+"I hope you had your old governess with you, at least," she continued, as
+we went up the stairs, "so that you could feel less uncomfortable--really
+a most shocking situation for a girl alone in the house with an unmarried
+man!"
+
+I told her Mr. Barton was there, too, but I had not the courage to say
+anything about Lord Robert; only that Mr. Carruthers had a friend of his
+down who was a great judge of pictures, to see them.
+
+"Oh, a valuer, I suppose. I hope he is not going to sell the Correggios,"
+she exclaimed.
+
+"No, I don't think so," I said, leaving the part about the valuer
+unanswered.
+
+Mr. Carruthers's being unmarried seemed to worry her most; she went on
+about it again before we got to my bedroom door.
+
+"I happened to hear a rumor at Miss Sheriton's" (the wool-shop in
+Headington, our town) "this morning," she said, "and so I wrote at once to
+you. I felt how terrible it would be for one of my own dear girls to be
+left alone with a bachelor like that. I almost wonder you did not stay up
+in your own rooms."
+
+I thanked her for her kind thought, and she left me at last.
+
+If she only knew! The unmarried ones who came down the passage to talk to
+mademoiselle were not half so saucy as the old fellows with wives
+somewhere. Lord Bentworth was married, and he wanted me to kiss him,
+whereas Colonel Grimston had no wife, and he never said Bo! to a goose.
+And I do wonder what she thought Mr. Carruthers was going to do to me,
+that it would have been wise for me to stay up in my rooms. Perhaps she
+thinks diplomats, having lived in foreign places, are sort of wild beasts.
+
+My room is frightful after my pretty rosy chintzes at Branches. Nasty
+yellowish wood furniture, and nothing much matching; however, there are
+plenty of wardrobes, so Veronique is content.
+
+They were all in the drawing-room when I got down, and Malcolm, the eldest
+son, who is in a Highland militia regiment, had arrived by a seven-o'clock
+train.
+
+I had that dreadful feeling of being very late and Mr. Montgomerie wanting
+to swear at me, though it was only a minute past a quarter to eight.
+
+He said "Burrrr" several times, and flew off to the dining-room with me
+tucked under his arm, murmuring it gave no cook a chance to keep the
+dinner waiting. So I expected something wonderful in the way of food, but
+it is not half so good as our chef sent up at Branches. And the footmen
+are not all the same height, and their liveries don't fit like Mrs.
+Carruthers always insisted that ours should do.
+
+Malcolm _is_ a titsy pootsy man. Not as tall as I am, and thin as a rail,
+with a look of his knees being too near together. He must be awful in a
+kilt, and I am sure he shivers when the wind blows--he has that air. I
+don't like kilts--unless men are big, strong, bronzed creatures that don't
+seem ashamed of their bare bits. I saw some splendid specimens marching,
+once, in Edinburgh, and they swung their skirts just like the beautiful
+ladies in the Bois, when mademoiselle and I went out of the Allee Mrs.
+Carruthers told us to try always to walk in.
+
+Lady Catherine talked a great deal at dinner about politics and her
+different charities, and the four girls were so respectful and interested,
+but Mr. Montgomerie contradicted her whenever he could. I was glad when we
+went into the drawing-room.
+
+That first evening was the worst of all, because we were all so strange;
+one seems to get acclimatized to whatever it is after a while.
+
+Lady Katherine asked me if I had not some fancy-work to do. Kirstie had
+begun her ties, and Jean the altar-cloth, again.
+
+"Do let Maggie run to your room and fetch it for you," she said.
+
+I was obliged to tell her I never did any. "But I--I can trim hats," I
+said; it really seemed awful not to be able to do anything like them, I
+felt I must say this as a kind of defence for myself.
+
+However, she seemed to think that hardly a lady's employment.
+
+"How clever of you!" Kirstie exclaimed. "I wish I could, but don't you
+find that intermittent? You can't trim them all the time. Don't you feel
+the want of a constant employment?"
+
+I was obliged to say I had not felt like that yet, but I could not tell
+them I particularly loved sitting perfectly still, doing nothing.
+
+Jessie and Maggie played Patience at two tables which folded up, and which
+they brought out and sat down to with a deliberate accustomed look which
+made me know at once they did this every night, and that I should see
+those tables planted exactly on those two spots of carpet every evening
+during my whole stay. I suppose it is because they cannot bring the
+poker-work and the bookbinding into the drawing-room.
+
+"Won't you play us something?" Lady Katherine asked, plaintively.
+Evidently it was not permitted to do nothing, so I got up and went to the
+piano.
+
+Fortunately I know heaps of things by heart, and I love them, and would
+have gone on and on, so as to fill up the time, but they all said "Thank
+you" in a chorus after each bit, and it rather put me off.
+
+Mr. Montgomerie and Malcolm did not come in for ages, and I could see Lady
+Katherine getting uneasy. One or two things at dinner suggested to me that
+these two were not on the best terms, perhaps she feared they had come to
+blows in the dining-room. The Scotch, Mrs. Carruthers said, have all kinds
+of rough customs that other nations do not keep up any longer.
+
+They did turn up at last, and Mr. Montgomerie was purple all over his
+face, and Malcolm a pale green, but there were no bruises on him; only one
+could see they had had a terrible quarrel.
+
+There is something in breeding, after all, even if one is of a barbarous
+country. Lady Katherine behaved so well, and talked charities and politics
+faster than ever, and did not give them time for any further outburst,
+though I fancy I heard a few "damns" mixed with the "burrrrs," and not
+without the "n" on just for ornament, like Lord Robert's.
+
+It was a frightful evening.
+
+
+                                              Wednesday, _November 9th._
+                                                (Continued.)
+
+
+Malcolm walked beside me going to church the next day. He looked a little
+less depressed, and I tried to cheer him up.
+
+He did not tell me what his worries were, but Jean had said something
+about it when she came into my room as I was getting ready. It appears he
+has got into trouble over a horse called Angela Grey--Jean gathered this
+from Lady Katherine; she said her father was very angry about it, as he
+had spent so much money on it.
+
+To me it does not sound like a horse's name, and I told Jean so, but she
+was perfectly horrified, and said it must be a horse, because they were
+not acquainted with any Angela Grey, and did not even know any Greys at
+all. So it must be a horse!
+
+I think that a ridiculous reason, as Mrs. Carruthers said all young men
+knew people one wouldn't want to; and it was silly to make a fuss about
+it, and that they couldn't help it, and they would be very dull if they
+were as good as gold, like girls.
+
+But I expect Lady Katherine thinks differently about things to Mrs.
+Carruthers, and the daughters the same.
+
+I shall ask Lord Robert when I see him again if it is a horse or not.
+
+Malcolm is not attractive, and I was glad the church was not far off.
+
+No carriages are allowed out on Sunday, so we had to walk; and coming back
+it began to rain, and we could not go round the stables, which I
+understand is the custom here every Sunday.
+
+Everything is done because it is the custom, not because you want to amuse
+yourself.
+
+"When it rains and we can't go round the stables," Kirstie said, "we look
+at the old _Illustrated London News_, and go on our way from afternoon
+church."
+
+I did not particularly want to do that, so stayed in my room as long as I
+could. The four girls were seated at a large table in the hall, each with
+a volume in front of her when I got down at last. They must know every
+picture by heart, if they do it every Sunday it rains--they stay in
+England all the winter.
+
+Jean made room for me beside her.
+
+"I am at the 'Sixties,'" she said. "I finished the 'Fifties' last Easter."
+So they evidently do even this with a method.
+
+I asked her if there were not any new books they wanted to read, but she
+said Lady Katherine did not care for their looking at magazines or novels
+unless she had been through them first, and she had not time for many, so
+they kept the few they had to read between tea and dinner on Sunday.
+
+By this time I felt I should do something wicked; and if the luncheon gong
+had not sounded, I do not know what would have happened.
+
+Mr. Montgomerie said rather gallant things to me when the cheese and port
+came along, while the girls looked shocked, and Lady Katherine had a stony
+stare. I suppose he is like this because he is married. I wonder, though,
+if young married men are the same. I have never met any yet.
+
+By Monday night I was beginning to feel the end of the world would come
+soon. It is ten times worse than ever having had to conceal all my
+feelings and abjectly obey Mrs. Carruthers. Because she did say cynical,
+entertaining things sometimes to me, and to her friends, that made one
+laugh. And one felt it was only she who made the people who were dependent
+upon her do her way, because she herself was so selfish, and that the rest
+of the world were free if once one got outside.
+
+But Lady Katherine and the whole Montgomerie _milieu_ give you the
+impression that everything and everybody must be ruled by rules; and no
+one could have a right to an individual opinion in any sphere of society.
+
+You simply can't laugh--they asphyxiate you. I am looking forward to this
+afternoon and Mr. Carruthers coming over. I often think of the days at
+Branches, and how exciting it was, with those two, and I wish I were back
+again.
+
+I have tried to be polite and nice to them all here, and yet they don't
+seem absolutely pleased.
+
+Malcolm gazes at me with sheep's eyes. They are a washy blue, with the
+family white eyelashes (how different to Lord Robert's!). He has the most
+precise, regulated manner, and never says a word of slang; he ought to
+have been a young curate, and I can't imagine his spending money on any
+Angela Greys, even if she is a horse or not.
+
+He speaks to me when he can, and asks me to go for walks round the golf
+course. The four girls play for an hour and three-quarters every morning.
+They never seem to enjoy anything--the whole of life is a solid duty. I am
+sitting up in my room, and Veronique has had the sense to have my fire
+lighted early. I suppose Mr. Carruthers won't come until about four--an
+hour more to be got through. I have said I must write letters, and so
+have escaped from them and not had to go for the usual drive.
+
+I suppose he will have the sense to ask for me, even if Lady Katherine is
+not back when he comes.
+
+This morning it was so fine and frosty a kind of devil seemed to creep
+into me. I have been _so_ good since Saturday, so when Malcolm said, in
+his usual prim, priggish voice, "Miss Travers, may I have the pleasure of
+taking you for a little exercise," I jumped up without consulting Lady
+Katherine, and went and put my things on, and we started.
+
+I had a feeling that they were all thinking I was doing something wrong,
+and so, of course, it made me worse. I said every kind of simple thing I
+could to Malcolm to make him jump, and looked at him now and then from
+under my eyelashes. So when we got to a stile, he did want to help me, and
+his eyes were quite wobblish. He has a giggle right up in the treble, and
+it comes out at such unexpected moments, when there is nothing to laugh
+at. I suppose it is being Scotch--he has just caught the meaning of some
+former joke. There would never be any use in saying things to him like to
+Lord Robert and Mr. Carruthers, because one would have left the place
+before he understood, if even then.
+
+There was an old Sir Thomas Farquharson who came to Branches, and he
+grasped the deepest jokes of Mrs. Carruthers--so deep that even I did not
+understand them--and he was Scotch. It may be they are like that only when
+they have red hair.
+
+When I was seated on top of a stile, Malcolm suddenly announced:
+
+"I hear you are going to London when you go. I hope you will let me come
+and see you; but I wish you lived here always."
+
+"I don't," I said, and then I remembered that sounded rather rude, and
+they had been kind to me. "At least, you know, I think the country is
+dull; don't you--for always?"
+
+"Yes," he replied, primly, "for men, but it is where I should always wish
+to see the woman I respected."
+
+"Are towns so wicked?" I asked, in my little-angel voice. "Tell me of
+their pitfalls, so that I may avoid them."
+
+"You must not believe everything people say to you, to begin with," he
+said, seriously. "For one so young as you, I am afraid you will find your
+path beset with temptations."
+
+"Oh, do tell me what!" I implored. "I have always wanted to know what
+temptations were. Please tell me. If you come to see me--would you be a
+temptation, or is temptation a thing and not a person?" I looked at him
+so beseechingly he never for a second saw the twinkle in my eye.
+
+He coughed pompously. "I expect I should be," he said modestly.
+"Temptations are--er--er--Oh, I say, you know, I say--I don't know what to
+say."
+
+"Oh, what a pity!" I said, regretfully. "I was hoping to hear all about it
+from you, especially if you are one yourself; you must know."
+
+He looked gratified, but still confused.
+
+"You see, when you are quite alone in London, some man may make love to
+you."
+
+"Oh, do you think so, _really_?" I asked, aghast. "That, I suppose, would
+be frightful, if I were by myself in the room. Would it do, do you think,
+if I left the sitting-room door open and kept Veronique on the other
+side?"
+
+He looked at me hard, but he only saw the face of an unprotected angel,
+and, becoming reassured, he said, gravely:
+
+"Yes, it might be just as well."
+
+"You do surprise me about love," I said. "I had no idea it was a violent
+kind of thing like that. I thought it began with grave reverence and
+respect, and after years of offering flowers and humble compliments, and
+bread-and-butter at tea-parties, the gentleman went down upon one knee and
+made a declaration--'Clara Maria, I adore you; be mine'--and then one put
+out a lily-white hand and, blushing, told him to rise; but that can't be
+your sort, and you have not yet explained what temptation means."
+
+"It means more or less wanting to do what you ought not to."
+
+"Oh, then," I said, "I am having temptation all the time; aren't you? For
+instance, I want to tear up Jean's altar-cloth, and rip Kirstie's ties,
+and tool bad words on Jessie's bindings, and burn Maggie's wood-boxes."
+
+He looked horribly shocked and hurt, so I added at once:
+
+"Of course, it must be lovely to be able to do these things; they are
+perfect girls, and so clever, only it makes me feel like that because I
+suppose I am--different."
+
+He looked at me critically. "Yes, you are different; I wish you would try
+and be more like my sisters, then I should not feel so nervous about your
+going to London."
+
+"It is too good of you to worry," I said, demurely. "But I don't think you
+need, you know. I have rather a strong suspicion I am acquainted with the
+way to take care of myself," and I bent down and laughed right in his
+face, and jumped off the stile onto the other side.
+
+He did look such a teeny shrimp climbing after me! But it does not matter
+what is their size, the vanity of men is just the same. I am sure he
+thought he had only to begin making love to me himself and I would drop
+like a ripe peach into his mouth.
+
+I teased him all the way back, until when we got in to lunch he did not
+know whether he was on his head or his heels. Just as we came up to the
+door he said:
+
+"I thought your name was Evangeline; why did you say it was Clara Maria?"
+
+"Because it is not!" I laughed over my shoulder, and ran into the house.
+
+He stood on the steps, and if he had been one of the stable-boys he would
+have scratched his head.
+
+Now I must stop and dress. I shall put on a black tea-frock I have. Mr.
+Carruthers shall see I have not caught frumpdom from my hosts.
+
+
+                                                               _Night._
+
+
+I do think men are the most horrid creatures--you can't believe what they
+say or rely upon them for five minutes! Mrs. Carruthers was right; she
+said, "Evangeline, remember, it is quite difficult enough to trust one's
+self without trusting a man."
+
+Such an afternoon I have had! That annoying feeling of waiting for
+something all the time and nothing happening. For Mr. Carruthers did not
+turn up, after all. How I wish I had not dressed and expected him!
+
+He is probably saying to himself he is well out of the business, now I
+have gone. I don't suppose he meant a word of his protestations to me.
+Well, he need not worry. I had no intention of jumping down his throat;
+only I would have been glad to see him, because he is human, and not like
+any one here.
+
+Of course, Lord Robert will be the same, and I shall probably never see
+either of them again. How can Lord Robert get here when he does not know
+Lady Katherine? No; it was just said to say something nice when I was
+leaving, and he will be as horrid as Mr. Carruthers.
+
+I am thankful, at least, that I did not tell Lady Katherine; I should have
+felt such a goose. Oh! I do wonder what I shall do next. I don't know at
+all how much things cost; perhaps three hundred a year is very poor. I am
+sure my best frocks always were five or six hundred francs each, and I
+dare say hotels run away with money. But for the moment I am rich, as Mr.
+Barton kindly advanced some of my legacy to me; and, oh, I am going to see
+life! and it is absurd to be sad! I shall go to bed, and forget how cross
+I feel.
+
+They are going to have a shoot here next week--pheasants. I wonder if they
+will have a lot of old men. I have not heard all who are coming.
+
+Lady Katherine said to me after dinner this evening that she was sorry, as
+she was afraid it would be most awkward for me their having a party, on
+account of my deep mourning, and I, if I felt it dreadfully, I need not
+consider they would find me the least rude if I preferred to have dinner
+in my room.
+
+I don't want to have dinner in my room. Think of the stuffiness of it! And
+perhaps hearing laughter going on down-stairs.
+
+I can always amuse myself watching faces, however dull they are. I thanked
+her, and said it would not be at all necessary, as I must get accustomed
+to seeing people. I could not count upon always meeting hostesses with
+such kind thoughts as hers, and I might as well get used to it.
+
+She said "Yes," but not cordially.
+
+To-morrow Mrs. Mackintosh, the eldest daughter, is arriving with her four
+children. I remember her wedding five years ago. I have never seen her
+since.
+
+She was very tall and thin, and stooped dreadfully, and Mrs. Carruthers
+said Providence had been very kind in giving her a husband at all. But
+when Mr. Mackintosh tittuped down the aisle with her, I did not think so.
+
+A wee, sandy fellow about up to her shoulder!
+
+Oh, I would hate to be tied to that! I think to be tied to anything could
+not be very nice. I wonder how I ever thought of marrying Mr. Carruthers
+offhand!
+
+I feel now I shall never marry, for years. Of course one can't be an old
+maid, but for a long time I mean to see life first.
+
+
+
+
+                                                                TRYLAND,
+
+                                              Thursday, _November 10th._
+
+
+                                                           BRANCHES,
+
+                                                        _Wednesday._
+
+
+    DEAR MISS TRAVERS,--
+
+    I regret exceedingly I was unable to come over to Tryland
+    to-day, but hope to do so before you leave. I trust you are
+    well, and did not catch cold on the drive.
+
+                             Yours, very truly,
+
+                                  CHRISTOPHER CARRUTHERS.
+
+
+_This_ is what I get this morning! Pig!
+
+Well, I sha'n't be in if he does come. I can just see him pulling
+himself together once temptation (it makes me think of Malcolm!) is out
+of his way; he no doubt feels he has had an escape, as I am nobody very
+grand.
+
+The letters come early here, as everywhere, but in a bag which only Mr.
+Montgomerie can open, and one has to wait until every one is seated at
+breakfast before he produces the key and deals them all out.
+
+Mr. Carruthers's was the only one for me, and it had "Branches" on the
+envelope, which attracted Mr. Montgomerie's attention, and he began to
+"burrrr," and hardly gave me time to read it before he commenced to ask
+questions apropos of the place, to get me to say what the letter was
+about. He is a curious man.
+
+"Carruthers is a capital fellow, they tell me--er. You had better ask
+him over quietly, Katherine, if he is all alone at Branches"--this with
+one eye on me in a questioning way.
+
+I remained silent.
+
+"Perhaps he is off to London, though?"
+
+I pretended to be busy with my coffee.
+
+"Best pheasant-shoot in the county, and a close borough under the old
+regime. Hope he will be more neighborly--Er--suppose he must shoot 'em
+before November?"
+
+I buttered my toast.
+
+Then the "burrrrs" began. I wonder he does not have a noise that ends
+with d--n simply. It would save him time.
+
+"Couldn't help seeing your letter was from Branches. Hope Carruthers
+gives you some news?"
+
+As he addressed me deliberately, I was obliged to answer:
+
+"I have no information. It is only a business letter," and I ate toast
+again.
+
+He "burrred" more than ever, and opened some of his own correspondence.
+
+"What am I to do, Katherine," he said, presently--"that confounded
+fellow Campion has thrown me over for next week, and he is my best gun?
+At short notice like this, it's impossible to replace him with the same
+class of shot."
+
+"Yes, dear," said Lady Katherine, in that kind of voice that has not
+heard the question. She was deep in her own letters.
+
+"Katherine!" roared Mr. Montgomerie. "Will you listen when I
+speak--burrrr!" and he thumped his fist on the table.
+
+Poor Lady Katherine almost jumped, and the china rattled.
+
+"Forgive me, Anderson," she said, humbly; "you were saying----?"
+
+"Campion has thrown me over," glared Mr. Montgomerie.
+
+"Then I have perhaps the very thing for you," Lady Katherine said, in a
+relieved way, returning to her letters. "Sophia Merrenden writes this
+morning, and among other things tells me of her nephew, Lord Robert
+Vavasour--you know, Torquilstone's half-brother. She says he is the most
+charming young man and a wonderful shot--she even suggests" (looking
+back a page), "that he might be useful to us, if we are short of a gun."
+
+"Damned kind of her!" growled Mr. Montgomerie.
+
+I hope they did not notice, but I had suddenly such a thrill of pleasure
+that I am sure my cheeks got red. I felt frightfully excited to hear
+what was going to happen.
+
+"Merrenden, as you know, is the best judge of shooting in England," Lady
+Katherine went on, in an injured voice. "Sophia is hardly likely to
+recommend his nephew so highly if he were not pretty good."
+
+"But you don't know the puppy, Katherine."
+
+My heart fell.
+
+"That is not the least consequence; we are almost related. Merrenden is
+my first cousin, you forget that, I suppose!"
+
+Fortunately I could detect that Lady Katherine was becoming obstinate
+and offended. I drank some more coffee. Oh, how lovely if Lord Robert
+comes!
+
+Mr. Montgomerie "burrred" a lot first, but Lady Katherine got him round,
+and before breakfast was over it was decided she should write to Lord
+Robert and ask him to come to the shoot. As we were all standing looking
+out of the window at the dripping rain, I heard her say, in a low voice:
+
+"Really, Anderson, we must think of the girls sometimes. Torquilstone is
+a confirmed bachelor and a cripple--Lord Robert will certainly one day
+be duke."
+
+"Well, catch him if you can," said Mr. Montgomerie. He is coarse
+sometimes.
+
+I am not going to let myself think much about Lord Robert. Mr.
+Carruthers has been a lesson to me. But if he does come, I wonder if
+Lady Katherine will think it funny of me not saying I knew him when she
+first spoke of him. It is too late now, so it can't be helped.
+
+The Mackintosh party arrived this afternoon. Marriage must have quite
+different effects on some people. Numbers of the married women we saw in
+London were lovely--prettier, I always heard, than they had been
+before--but Mary Mackintosh is perfectly awful. She can't be more than
+twenty-seven, but she looks forty, at least; and stout, and sticking out
+all in the wrong places, and flat where the stick-outs ought to be. And
+the four children. The two eldest look much the same age, the next a
+little smaller, and there is a baby, and they all squall, and although
+they seem to have heaps of nurses, poor Mr. Mackintosh has to be a kind
+of under one. He fetches and carries for them, and gives his
+handkerchief when they slobber, but perhaps it is he feels proud that a
+person of his size had these four enormous babies almost all at once
+like that.
+
+The whole thing is simply dreadful.
+
+Tea was a pandemonium! The four aunts gushing over the infants, and
+feeding them with cake, and gurgling with "tootsie-wootsie popsy-wopsy"
+kind of noises. They will get to do "burrrrs," I am sure, when they get
+older. I wonder if the infants will come down every afternoon when the
+shoot happens. The guests will enjoy it.
+
+I said to Jean as we came up-stairs that I thought it seemed terrible to
+get married; did not she? But she was shocked, and said no, marriage and
+motherhood were sacred duties, and she envied her sister.
+
+This kind of thing is not my idea of bliss. Two really well-behaved
+children would be delicious, I think; but four squalling imps all about
+the same age is _bourgeois_, and not the affair of a lady.
+
+I suppose Lord Robert's answer cannot get here till about Saturday. I
+wonder how he arranged it? It is clever of him. Lady Katherine said this
+Mr. Campion who was coming is in the same regiment, the 3d Life Guards.
+Perhaps when---- But there is no use my thinking about it, only somehow
+I am feeling so much better to-night--gay, and as if I did not mind
+being very poor--that I was obliged to tease Malcolm a little after
+dinner. I _would_ play Patience, and never lifted my eyes from the
+cards.
+
+He kept trying to say things to me to get me to go to the piano, but I
+pretended I did not notice. A palm stands at the corner of a high
+Chippendale writing-bureau, and Jessie happened to have put the
+Patience-table behind that rather, so the rest of them could not see
+everything that was happening. Malcolm at last sat very near beside me,
+and wanted to help with the aces--but I can't bear people being close to
+me, so I upset the board, and he had to pick up all the cards on the
+floor. Kirstie, for a wonder, played the piano then--a cake-walk--and
+there was something in it that made me feel I wanted to move--to dance,
+to undulate--I don't know what--and my shoulders swayed a little in time
+to the music. Malcolm breathed quite as if he had a cold, and said,
+right in my ear, in a fat voice:
+
+"You know you are a devil--and I----"
+
+I stopped him at once, and looked up for the first time, absolutely
+shocked and surprised.
+
+"Really, Mr. Montgomerie, I do not know what you mean," I said.
+
+He began to fidget.
+
+"Er--I mean--I mean--I awfully wish to kiss you."
+
+"But I do not a bit wish to kiss you," I said, and I opened my eyes wide
+at him.
+
+He looked like a spiteful bantam, and fortunately at that moment Jessie
+returned to the Patience, and he could not say any more.
+
+Lady Katherine and Mrs. Mackintosh came into my room on the way up to
+bed. She--Lady Katherine--wanted to show Mary how beautifully they had
+had it done up; it used to be hers before she married. They looked all
+round at the dead-daffodil-colored cretonne and things, and at last I
+could see their eyes often straying to my night-gown, and dressing-gown,
+laid out on a chair beside the fire.
+
+"Oh, Lady Katherine, I am afraid you are wondering at my having pink
+silk," I said, apologetically, "as I am in mourning; but I have not had
+time to get a white dressing-gown yet."
+
+"It is not that, dear," said Lady Katherine, in a grave duty voice.
+"I--I--do not think such a night-gown is suitable for a girl."
+
+"Oh, but I am very strong," I said. "I never catch cold."
+
+Mary Mackintosh held it up, with a face of stern disapproval. Of course
+it has short sleeves ruffled with Valenciennes, and is fine linen
+cambric nicely embroidered. Mrs. Carruthers was always very particular
+about them, and chose them herself at Doucet's. She said one never could
+know when places might catch on fire.
+
+"Evangeline, dear, you are very young, so you probably cannot
+understand," Mary said. "But I consider this garment not in any way fit
+for a girl, or for any good woman for that matter. Mother, I hope my
+sisters have not seen it."
+
+I looked so puzzled.
+
+She examined the stuff, one could see the chair through it, beyond.
+
+"What _would_ Alexander say if I were to wear such a thing!"
+
+This thought seemed to almost suffocate them both; they looked genuinely
+pained and shocked.
+
+"Of course it would be too tight for you," I said, humbly; "but it is
+otherwise a very good pattern, and does not tear when one puts up one's
+arms. Mrs. Carruthers made a fuss at Doucet's because my last set tore
+so soon, and they altered these."
+
+At the mention of my late adopted mother, both of them pulled themselves
+up.
+
+"Mrs. Carruthers, we know, had very odd notions," Lady Katherine said,
+stiffly. "But I hope, Evangeline, you have sufficient sense to
+understand now for yourself that such a--a--garment is not at all
+seemly."
+
+"Oh, why not, dear Lady Katherine?" I said, "You don't know how becoming
+it is."
+
+"Becoming!" almost screamed Mary Mackintosh, "But no nice-minded woman
+wants things to look becoming in bed!"
+
+The whole matter appeared so painful to them I covered up the offending
+"nighty" with my dressing-gown, and coughed. It made a break, and they
+went away, saying good-night frigidly.
+
+And now I am alone. But I do wonder why it is wrong to look pretty in
+bed, considering nobody sees one, too!
+
+
+
+
+                                                          TRYLAND COURT,
+
+                                                Monday, _November 14th._
+
+
+I have not felt like writing; these last days have been so stodgy--sticky,
+I was going to say. Endless infant talk. The methods of head nurses,
+teething, the knavish tricks of nursemaids, patent foods, bottles,
+bibs--everything. Enough to put one off forever from wishing to get
+married. And Mary Mackintosh sitting there all out of shape, expounding
+theories that can have no results in practice, as there could not be
+worse-behaved children than hers.
+
+They even try Lady Katherine, I can see, when the two eldest, who come in
+while we are at breakfast each day, take the jam-spoon, or something
+equally horrid, and dab it all over the cloth. Yesterday they put their
+hands in the honey-dish which Mr. Montgomerie was helping himself to, and
+then after smearing him (the "burrrs" were awful), they went round the
+table to escape being caught, and fingered the backs of every one's chair
+and the door-handle, so that one could not touch a thing without getting
+sticky.
+
+"Alexander, dearie," Mary said. "Alec must have his mouth wiped."
+
+Poor Mr. Mackintosh had to get up and leave his breakfast, catch these
+imps, and employ his table-napkin in vain.
+
+"Take 'em up-stairs, do--burrrr," roared their fond grandfather.
+
+"Oh, father, the poor darlings are not really naughty," Mary said,
+offended. "I like them to be with us all as much as possible. I thought
+they would be such a pleasure to you."
+
+Upon which, hearing the altercation, both infants set up a yell of fear
+and rage, and Alec, the cherub of four and a half, lay on the floor and
+kicked and screamed until he was black in the face.
+
+Mr. Mackintosh is too small to manage two, so one of the footmen had to
+come and help him to carry them up to their nursery. Oh, I would not be in
+his place for the world!
+
+Malcolm is becoming so funny. I suppose he is attracted by me. He makes
+kind of love in a priggish way whenever he gets the chance, which is not
+often, as Lady Katherine contrives to send one of the girls with us on all
+our walks; or if we are in the drawing-room, she comes and sits down
+beside us herself. I am glad, as it would be a great bore to listen to a
+quantity of it.
+
+How silly of her, though! She can't know as much about men as even I do;
+of course, it only makes him all the more eager.
+
+It is quite an object-lesson for me. I shall be impossibly difficult
+myself if I meet Mr. Carruthers again, as he has no mother to play these
+tricks for him.
+
+Lord Robert's answer came on Saturday afternoon. It was all done through
+Lady Merrenden.
+
+He will be delighted to come and shoot on Tuesday, to-morrow. Oh, I am so
+glad, but I do wonder if I shall be able to make him understand not to say
+anything about having been at Branches while I was there. Such a simple
+thing, but Lady Katherine is so odd and particular.
+
+The party is to be a large one--nine guns. I hope some will be amusing,
+though I rather fear.
+
+
+                                                        _Tuesday night._
+
+
+It is quite late, nearly twelve o'clock, but I feel so wide awake I must
+write.
+
+I shall begin from the beginning, when every one arrived.
+
+They came by two trains early in the afternoon, and just at tea-time, and
+Lord Robert was among the last lot.
+
+They are mostly the same sort as Lady Katherine, looking as good as gold;
+but one woman, Lady Verningham, Lady Katherine's niece, is different, and
+I liked her at once.
+
+She has lovely clothes, and an exquisite figure, and her hat on the right
+way. She has charming manners, too, but one can see she is on a duty
+visit.
+
+Even all this company did not altogether stop Mary Mackintosh laying down
+the law upon domestic--infant domestic--affairs. We all sat in the big
+drawing-room, and I caught Lady Verningham's eye, and we laughed together.
+The first eye with a meaning in it I have seen since I left Branches.
+
+Everybody talked so agreeably, with pauses, not enjoying themselves at
+all, when Jean and Kirstie began about their work, and explained it, and
+tried to get orders, and Jessie and Maggie too, and specimens of it all
+had to be shown, and prices fixed. I should hate to have to beg, even for
+a charity.
+
+I felt quite uncomfortable for them, but they did not mind a bit, and
+their victims were noble over it.
+
+Our parson at Branches always got so red and nervous when he had to ask
+for anything, one could see he was quite a gentleman; but women are
+different, I suppose.
+
+I longed for tea.
+
+While they are all very kind here, there is that asphyxiating atmosphere
+of stiffness and decorum which affects every one who comes to Tryland. A
+sort of "the gold must be tried by fire and the heart must be wrung by
+pain" kind of suggestion about everything.
+
+They are extraordinarily cheerful, because it is a Christian virtue,
+cheerfulness; not because they are brimming over with joy, or that lovely
+feeling of being alive and not minding much what happens, you feel so
+splendid, like I get on fine days.
+
+Everything they do has a reason, or a moral, in it. This party is because
+pheasants have to be killed in November, and certain people have to be
+entertained, and their charities can be assisted through them. Oh, if I
+had a big house, and were rich, I would have lovely parties, with all
+sorts of nice people, because I wanted to give them a good time and laugh
+myself. Lady Verningham was talking to me just before tea, when the second
+train-load arrived.
+
+I tried to be quite indifferent, but I did feel dreadfully excited when
+Lord Robert walked in. Oh, he looked such a beautiful creature, so smart,
+and straight, and lithe!
+
+Lady Katherine was frightfully stiff with him; it would have discouraged
+most people, but that is the lovely part about Lord Robert, he is always
+absolutely _sans gene_!
+
+He saw me at once, of course, and came over as straight as a die the
+moment he could.
+
+"How do, Robert?" said Lady Verningham, giving him her fingers in such an
+attractive way. "Why are you here, and why is our Campie not? Thereby
+hangs some tale, I feel sure."
+
+"Why, yes," said Lord Robert, and he held her hand. Then he looked at me
+with his eyebrow up. "But won't you introduce me to Miss Travers? To my
+great surprise she seems to have forgotten me."
+
+I laughed, and Lady Verningham introduced us, and he sat down beside us,
+and every one began tea.
+
+Lady Verningham had such a look in her eye!
+
+"Robert, tell me about it," she said.
+
+"I hear they have five thousand pheasants to slay," Lord Robert said,
+looking at her with his innocent smile.
+
+"Robert, you are lying," she said, and she laughed. She is so pretty when
+she laughs; not very young, over thirty I should think, but such a
+charm--as different as different can be from the whole Montgomerie family.
+
+I hardly spoke; they continued to tease one another, and Lord Robert ate
+most of a plate of bread-and-butter that was near.
+
+"I am damed hungry, Lady Ver!" he said. She smiled at him; she evidently
+likes him very much.
+
+"Robert! You must not use such language here!" she said.
+
+"Oh, doesn't he say them often?--those dams!" I burst out, not thinking
+for a moment; then I stopped, remembering. She did seem surprised.
+
+"So you have heard them before. I thought you had only just met casually,"
+she said, with such a comic look of understanding, but not absolutely
+pleased. I stupidly got crimson. It did annoy me, because it shows so
+dreadfully on my skin. She leaned back in her chair and laughed.
+
+"It is delightful to shoot five thousand pheasants, Robert," she said.
+
+"Now, isn't it?" replied Lord Robert. He had finished the
+bread-and-butter.
+
+Then he told her she was a dear, and he was glad something had suggested
+to Mr. Campion that he would have other views of living for this week.
+
+"You are a joy, Robert," she said. "But you will have to behave here. None
+of the tricks you played at Fotherington in October, my child. Aunt
+Katherine would put you in a corner. Miss Travers has been here a week,
+and can tell you I am truthful about it."
+
+"Indeed, _yes_," I said.
+
+"But I _must_ know how you got here!" she commanded.
+
+Just then, fortunately, Malcolm, who had been hovering near, came up and
+joined us, and would talk too; but if he had been a table or a chair he
+could not have mattered less to Lord Robert. He is quite wonderful. He is
+not the least rude, only perfectly simple and direct, always getting just
+what he wants, with rather an appealing expression in his blue eyes. In a
+minute or two he and I were talking together, and Malcolm and Lady
+Verningham a few yards off. I felt so happy. He makes one like that, I
+don't know for what reason.
+
+"Why did you look so stonily indifferent when I came up?" he asked. "I was
+afraid you were annoyed with me for coming."
+
+Then I told him about Lady Katherine, and my stupidly not having mentioned
+meeting him at Branches.
+
+"Oh, then I stayed with Christopher after you left, I see," he said. "Had
+I met you in London?"
+
+"We won't tell any stories about it. They can think what they please."
+
+"Very well," he laughed. "I can see I shall have to manoeuvre a good
+deal to talk quietly to you here, but you will stand with me, won't you,
+out shooting to-morrow?"
+
+I told him I did not suppose we should be allowed to go out, except
+perhaps for lunch, but he said he refused to believe in such cruelty.
+
+Then he asked me a lot of things about how I had been getting on, and what
+I intended to do next. He has the most charming way of making one feel
+that one knows him very well, he looks at one every now and then straight
+in the eyes, with astonishing frankness. I have never seen any person so
+quite without airs. I don't suppose he is ever thinking a bit the effect
+he is producing. Nothing has two meanings with him, like with Mr.
+Carruthers. If he had said I was to stay and marry him, I am sure he would
+have meant it, and I really believe I should have stayed.
+
+"Do you remember our morning packing?" he said, presently, in such a
+caressing voice. "I was so happy; weren't you?"
+
+I said I was.
+
+"And Christopher was mad with us. He was like a bear with a sore head
+after you left, and insisted upon going up to town on Monday, just for the
+day. He came over here on Tuesday, didn't he?"
+
+"No, he did not," I was obliged to say, and I felt cross about it still, I
+don't know why.
+
+"He is a queer creature," said Lord Robert, "and I am glad you have not
+seen him. I don't want him in the way. I am a selfish brute, you know."
+
+I said Mrs. Carruthers had always brought me up to know men were that, so
+such a thing would not prejudice me against him.
+
+He laughed. "You must help me to come and sit and talk again after
+dinner," he said. "I can see the red-haired son means you for himself, but
+of course I shall not allow that."
+
+I became uppish.
+
+"Malcolm and I are great friends," I said, demurely. "He walks me round
+the golf-course in the park, and gives me advice."
+
+"Confounded impertinence!" said Lord Robert.
+
+"He thinks I ought not to go to Claridge's alone when I leave here, in
+case some one made love to me. He feels if I looked more like his sisters
+it would be safer. I have promised that Veronique shall stay at the other
+side of the door if I have visitors."
+
+"Oh, he is afraid of that, is he? Well, I think it is very probable his
+fears will be realized, as I shall be in London," said Lord Robert.
+
+"But how do you know," I began, with a questioning, serious air--"how do
+you know I should listen? You can't go on to deaf people, can you?"
+
+"Are you deaf?" he asked. "I don't think so; anyway, I would try to cure
+your deafness." He bent close over to me, pretending to pick up a book.
+
+Oh, I was having such a nice time!
+
+All of a sudden I felt I was really living, the blood was jumping in my
+veins, and a number of provoking, agreeable things came to the tip of my
+tongue to say, and I said them. We were so happy.
+
+Lord Robert is such a beautiful shape, that pleased me too; the perfect
+lines of things always give me a nice emotion. The other men look thick
+and clumsy beside him, and he does have such lovely clothes and ties.
+
+We talked on and on. He began to show me he was deeply interested in me.
+His eyes, so blue and expressive, said even more than his words. I like to
+see him looking down; his eyelashes are absurdly long and curly, not jet
+black like mine and Mr. Carruthers's, but dark brown and soft and shaded,
+and, oh! I don't know how to say quite why they are so attractive. When
+one sees them half resting on his cheek it makes one feel it would be nice
+to put out the tip of one's finger and touch them. I never spent such a
+delightful afternoon. Only, alas! it was all too short.
+
+"We will arrange to sit together after dinner," he whispered, as even
+before the dressing-gong had rung, Lady Katherine came and fussed about,
+and collected every one, and more or less drove them off to dress, saying,
+on the way up-stairs, to me, that I need not come down if I had rather
+not.
+
+I thanked her again, but remained firm in my intention of accustoming
+myself to company.
+
+Stay in my room, indeed, with Lord Robert at dinner--never!
+
+However, when I did come down he was surrounded by Montgomeries, and
+pranced into the dining-room with Lady Verningham.
+
+I had such a bore! A young Mackintosh, cousin of Mary's husband, and on
+the other side the parson. The one talked about botany in a hoarse
+whisper, with a Scotch accent, and the other gobbled his food, and made
+kind of pious jokes in between the mouthfuls.
+
+I said, when I had borne it bravely up to the ices, I hated knowing what
+flowers were composed of, I only liked to pick them. The youth stared, and
+did not speak much more. For the parson, "Yes" now and then did, and like
+that we got through dinner.
+
+Malcolm was opposite me, and he gaped most of the time. Even he might have
+been better than the botanist, but I suppose Lady Katherine felt these two
+would be a kind of half mourning for me. No one could have felt gay with
+them.
+
+After dinner Lady Verningham took me over to a sofa with her, in a corner.
+The sofas here don't have pillows, as at Branches, but fortunately this
+one is a little apart, though not comfortable, and we could talk.
+
+"You poor child!" she said; "you had a dull time. I was watching you. What
+did that Mactavish creature find to say to you?"
+
+I told her, and that his name was Mackintosh, not Mactavish.
+
+"Yes, I know," she said. "But I call the whole clan Mactavish; it is near
+enough, and it does worry Mary so, she corrects me every time. Now don't
+you want to get married, and be just like Mary?" There was a twinkle in
+her eye.
+
+I said I had not felt wild about it yet. I wanted to go and see life
+first.
+
+But she told me one couldn't see life unless one were married.
+
+"Not even if one is an adventuress, like me?" I asked.
+
+"A _what_?"
+
+"An adventuress," I said. "People do seem so astonished when I say that. I
+have got to be one, you know, because Mrs. Carruthers never left me the
+money after all, and in the book I read about it, it said you were that if
+you had nice clothes, and--and--red hair--and things--and no home."
+
+She rippled all over with laughter.
+
+"You duck!" she said. "Now you and I will be friends. Only you must not
+play with Robert Vavasour. He belongs to me. He is one of my special and
+particular own pets. Is it a bargain?"
+
+I do wish now I had the pluck then to say straight out that I rather liked
+Lord Robert, and would not make any bargain, but one is foolish sometimes
+when taken suddenly. It is then when I suppose it shows if one's head is
+screwed on, and mine wasn't to-night. But she looked so charming, and I
+felt a little proud, and perhaps ashamed to show that I am very much
+interested in Lord Robert, especially if he belongs to her, whatever that
+means; and so I said it was a bargain, and of course I had never thought
+of playing with him; but when I came to reflect afterwards, that is a
+promise, I suppose, and I sha'n't be able to look at him any more under my
+eyelashes. And I don't know why I feel very wide awake and tired, and
+rather silly, and as if I wanted to cry to-night.
+
+However, she was awfully kind to me, and lovely, and has asked me to go
+and stay with her, and lots of nice things, so it is all for the best, no
+doubt. But when Lord Robert came in, and came over to us, it did feel hard
+having to get up at once and go and pretend I wanted to talk to Malcolm.
+
+I did not dare to look up often, but sometimes, and I found Lord Robert's
+eyes were fixed on me with an air of reproach and entreaty, and the last
+time there was wrath as well.
+
+Lady Verningham kept him with her until every one started to go to bed.
+
+There had been music and bridge, and other boring diversions happening,
+but I sat still. And I don't know what Malcolm had been talking about; I
+had not been listening, though I kept murmuring "Yes" and "No."
+
+He got more and more _empresse_, until suddenly I realized he was saying,
+as we rose:
+
+"You have promised! Now remember, and I shall ask you to keep
+it--to-morrow."
+
+And there was such a loving, mawkish, wobbly look in his eyes, it made me
+feel quite sick. The horrible part is I don't know what I have promised
+any more than the man in the moon. It may be something perfectly dreadful,
+for all I know. Well, if it is a fearful thing, like kissing him, I shall
+have to break my word, which I never do for any consideration whatever.
+
+Oh, dear, oh, dear! It is not always so easy to laugh at life as I once
+thought. I almost wish I were settled down, and had not to be an
+adventuress. Some situations are so difficult. I think now I shall go to
+bed.
+
+I wonder if Lord Robert---- No, what is the good of wondering; he is no
+longer my affair.
+
+I shall blow out the light.
+
+
+
+
+                                                        300 PARK STREET,
+
+                                        Saturday night, _November 19th._
+
+
+I do not much care to look back to the rest of my stay at Tryland. It is
+an unpleasant memory.
+
+That next day after I last wrote, it poured with rain, and every one came
+down cross to breakfast. The whole party appeared, except Lady Verningham,
+and breakfast was just as stiff and boring as dinner. I happened to be
+seated when Lord Robert came in, and Malcolm was in the place beside me.
+Lord Robert hardly spoke, and looked at me once or twice with his eyebrows
+right up.
+
+I did long to say it was because I had promised Lady Ver I would not play
+with him that I was not talking to him now like the afternoon before. I
+wonder if he ever guessed it. Oh, I wished then, and I have wished a
+hundred times since, that I had never promised at all. It seemed as if it
+would be wisest to avoid him, as how could I explain the change in myself?
+I hated the food, and Malcolm had such an air of proprietorship it annoyed
+me as much as I could see it annoyed Lady Katherine. I sniffed at him, and
+was as disagreeable as could be.
+
+The breakfasts there don't shine, and porridge is pressed upon people by
+Mr. Montgomerie. "Capital stuff to begin the day--burrrr," he says.
+
+Lord Robert could not find anything he wanted, it seemed. Every one was
+peevish. Lady Katherine has a way of marshalling people on every occasion;
+she reminds me of a hen with chickens, putting her wings down and clucking
+and chasing till they are all in a corner. And she is rather that shape,
+too, very much rounded in front. The female brood soon found themselves in
+the morning-room, with the door shut, and no doubt the male things fared
+the same with their host--anyway, we saw no more of them till we caught
+sight of them passing the windows in scutums and mackintoshes, a depressed
+company of sportsmen.
+
+The only fortunate part was that Malcolm had found no opportunity to
+remind me of my promise, whatever it was, and I felt safer.
+
+Oh, that terrible morning! Much worse than when we were alone; nearly all
+of them, about seven women beyond the family, began fancy-work.
+
+One, a Lady Letitia Smith, was doing a crewel silk blotting-book that made
+me quite bilious to look at, and she was very short-sighted, and had such
+an irritating habit of asking every one to match her threads for her. They
+knitted ties and stockings, and crocheted waistcoats and comforters and
+hoods for the North Sea fishermen, and one even tatted. Just like
+housemaids do in their spare hours to trim Heaven knows what garment of
+unbleached calico.
+
+I asked her what it was for, and she said for the children's pinafores in
+her "guild" work. If one doesn't call that waste of time, I wonder what
+is.
+
+Mrs. Carruthers said it was much more useful to learn to sit still and not
+fidget than to fill the world with rubbish like this.
+
+Mary Mackintosh dominated the conversation. She and Lady Letitia Smith,
+who have both small babies, revelled in nursery details, and then
+whispered bits for us, the young girls not to hear. We caught scraps
+though, and it sounded grewsome, whatever it was about. Oh, I do wonder
+when I get married if I shall grow like them!
+
+I hope not.
+
+It is no wonder married men are obliged to say gallant things to other
+people, if, when they get home, their wives are like that.
+
+I tried to be agreeable to a lady who was next me. She was a Christian
+Scientist, and wore glasses. She endeavored to convert me, but I was
+abnormally thick-headed that day, and had to have things explained over
+and over, so she gave it up at last.
+
+Finally, when I felt I should do something desperate, a footman came to
+say Lady Verningham wished to see me in her room, and I bounded up, but as
+I got to the door I saw them beginning to shake their heads over her.
+
+"Sad that dear Ianthe has such irregular habits of breakfasting in her
+room; so bad for her," etc., etc. But, thank Heaven, I was soon outside in
+the hall, where her maid was waiting for me.
+
+One would hardly have recognized that it was a Montgomerie apartment, the
+big room overlooking the porch, where she was located, so changed did its
+aspect seem. She had numbers of photographs about, and the loveliest gold
+toilet things, and lots of frilled garments, and flowers, and
+scent-bottles; and her own pillows propping her up, all blue silk, and
+lovely muslin embroideries; and she did look such a sweet, cosey thing
+among it all, her dark hair in fluffs round her face, and an angelic lace
+cap over it. She was smoking a cigarette, and writing numbers of letters
+with a gold stylograph pen. The blue silk quilt was strewn with
+correspondence, and newspapers, and telegraph forms. And her garment was
+low-necked, of course, and thin like mine. I wondered what Alexander would
+have thought if he could have seen her in contrast to Mary. I know which I
+would choose if I were a man.
+
+"Oh, there you are!" she exclaimed, looking up, and puffing smoke clouds.
+"Sit on the bye-bye, snake-girl. I felt I must rescue you from the hoard
+of holies below, and I wanted to look at you in the daylight. Yes, you
+have extraordinary hair, and real eyelashes and complexion, too. You are a
+witch thing, I can see, and we shall all have to beware of you."
+
+I smiled. She did not say it rudely, or I should have been uppish at once.
+She has a wonderful charm.
+
+"You don't speak much, either," she continued. "I feel you are dangerous.
+That is why I am being so civil to you; I think it wisest. I can't stand
+girls as a rule." And she went into one of her ripples of laughter. "Now
+say you will not hurt me."
+
+"I should not hurt any one," I said. "Unless they hurt me first, and I
+like you, you are so pretty."
+
+"That is all right," she said. "Then we are comrades. I was frightened
+about Robert last evening, because I am so attached to him; but you were a
+darling after dinner, and it will be all right now. I told him you would
+probably marry Malcolm Montgomerie, and he was not to interfere."
+
+"I shall do nothing of the kind!" I exclaimed, moving off the bed. "I
+would as soon die as spend the rest of my life here at Tryland."
+
+"He will be fabulously rich one day, you know, and you could get round
+pere Montgomerie in a trice, and revolutionize the whole place. You had
+better think of it."
+
+"I won't," I said, and I felt my eyes sparkle. She put up her hands as if
+to ward off an evil spirit, and she laughed again. "Well, you sha'n't
+then. Only don't flash those emeralds at me; they give me quivers all
+over."
+
+"Would _you_ like to marry Malcolm?" I asked and I sat down again. "Fancy
+being owned by that! Fancy seeing it every day! Fancy living with a person
+who never sees a joke from week's end to week's end! Oh!"
+
+"As for that--" and she puffed smoke. "Husbands are a race apart--there
+are men, women, and husbands; and if they pay bills, and shoot big game in
+Africa, it is all one ought to ask of them; to be able to see jokes is
+superfluous. Mine is most inconvenient, because he generally adores me,
+and at best only leaves me for a three weeks' cure at Homburg, and now and
+then a week at Paris; but Malcolm could be sent to the Rocky Mountains,
+and places like that, continuously; he is quite a sportsman."
+
+"That is not my idea of a husband," I said.
+
+"Well, what is your idea, snake-girl?"
+
+"Why do you call me 'snake-girl'?" I asked. "I hate snakes."
+
+She took her cigarette out of her mouth, and looked at me for some
+seconds.
+
+"Because you are so sinuous; there is not a stiff line about your
+movements, you are utterly wicked-looking and attractive, too, and
+un-English, and what in the world Aunt Katherine asked you here for with
+those hideous girls I can't imagine. I would not have, if my three angels
+were grown up, and like them--" Then she showed me the photographs of her
+three angels--they are pets.
+
+But my looks seemed to bother her, for she went back to them.
+
+"Where do you get them from? Was your mother some other nation?"
+
+I told her how poor mamma had been rather an accident, and was nobody
+much. "One could not tell, you see; she might have had any quaint creature
+beyond the grand-parents--perhaps I am mixed with Red Indian or nigger."
+
+She looked at me searchingly.
+
+"No, you are not; you are Venetian. That is it--some wicked, beautiful
+friend of a Doge, come to life again."
+
+"I know I am wicked," I said. "I am always told it; but I have not done
+anything yet, or had any fun out of it, and I do want to."
+
+She laughed again.
+
+"Well, you must come to London with me when I leave here on Saturday, and
+we will see what we can do."
+
+This sounded so nice, and yet I had a feeling that I wanted to refuse; if
+there had been a tone of patronage in her voice, I would have in a minute.
+We sat and talked a long time, and she did tell me some interesting
+things. The world, she assured me, was a delightful place if one could
+escape bores, and had a good cook and a few friends. After a while I left
+her, as she suddenly thought she would come down to luncheon.
+
+"I don't think it would be safe, at the present stage, to leave you alone
+with Robert," she said.
+
+I was angry.
+
+"I have promised not to play with him; is that not enough?" I exclaimed.
+
+"Do you know, I believe it is, snake-girl," she said, and there was
+something wistful in her eyes; "but you are twenty, and I am past thirty,
+and--he is a man. So one can't be too careful." Then she laughed, and I
+left her putting a toe into a blue satin slipper and ringing for her
+maid.
+
+I don't think age can matter much; she is far more attractive than any
+girl, and she need not pretend she is afraid of me. But the thing that
+struck me then, and has always struck me since, is that to have to _hold_
+a man by one's own manoeuvres could not be agreeable to one's
+self-respect. I would _never_ do that under any circumstances; if he would
+not stay because it was the thing he wanted to do most in the world, he
+might go. I should say, "Je m'en fiche!"
+
+At luncheon, for which the guns came in--no nice picnic in a lodge as at
+Branches--I purposely sat between two old gentlemen, and did my best to be
+respectful and intelligent. One was quite a nice old thing, and at the end
+began paying me compliments. He laughed and laughed at everything I said.
+Opposite me were Malcolm and Lord Robert, with Lady Ver between them. They
+both looked sulky. It was quite a while before she could get them gay and
+pleasant. I did not enjoy myself.
+
+After it was over, Lord Robert deliberately walked up to me.
+
+"Why are you so capricious?" he asked. "I won't be treated like this. You
+know very well I have only come here to see you. We are such friends--or
+were. Why?"
+
+Oh, I did want to say I was friends still, and would love to talk to him.
+He seemed so adorably good-looking, and such a shape! And his blue eyes
+had the nicest flash of anger in them.
+
+I could have kept my promise to the letter, and yet broken it in the
+spirit, easily enough, by letting him understand by inference; but of
+course one could not be so mean as that when one was going to eat her
+salt, so I looked out of the window and answered coldly that I was quite
+friendly and did not understand him, and I immediately turned to my old
+gentleman and walked with him into the library. In fact, I was as cool as
+I could be without being actually rude, but all the time there was a flat,
+heavy feeling round my heart. He looked so cross and reproachful, and I
+did not like him to think me capricious.
+
+We did not see them again until tea--the sportsmen, I mean. But tea at
+Tryland is not a friendly time; it is just as stiff as other meals. Lady
+Ver never let Lord Robert leave her side, and immediately after tea
+everybody who stayed in the drawing-room played bridge, where they were
+planted until the dressing-bell rang.
+
+One would have thought Lady Katherine would have disapproved of cards, but
+I suppose every one must have one contradiction about them, for she loves
+bridge, and played for the lowest stakes with the air of a "needy
+adventurer" as the books say.
+
+I can't write the whole details of the rest of the visit. I was miserable,
+and that is the truth. Fate seemed to be against Lord Robert speaking to
+me, even when he tried, and I felt I must be extra cool and nasty because
+I--oh, well, I may as well say it--he attracts me very much. I never once
+looked at him from under my eyelashes, and after the next day he did not
+even try to have an explanation.
+
+He glanced with wrath sometimes, especially when Malcolm hung over me, and
+Lady Ver said his temper was dreadful.
+
+She was so sweet to me, it almost seemed as if she wanted to make up to me
+for not letting me play with Lord Robert.
+
+(Of course, I would not allow her to see I minded that.)
+
+And finally Friday came, and the last night.
+
+I sat in my room from tea until dinner. I could not stand Malcolm any
+longer. I had fenced with him rather well up to then, but that promise of
+mine hung over me. I nipped him every time he attempted to explain what it
+was, and to this moment I don't know, but it did not prevent him from
+saying tiresome, loving things, mixed with priggish advice. I don't know
+what would have happened, only when he got really horribly affectionate,
+just after tea, I was so exasperated I launched this bomb.
+
+"I don't believe a word you are saying--your real interest is Angela
+Grey."
+
+He nearly had a fit, and shut up at once. So, of course, it is not a
+horse. I felt sure of it. Probably one of those people Mrs. Carruthers
+said all young men knew--their adolescent measles and chicken-pox, she
+called them.
+
+All the old men talked a great deal to me, and even the other two young
+ones; but these last days I did not seem to have any of my usual spirits.
+Just as we were going to bed on Friday night Lord Robert came up to Lady
+Ver; she had her hand through my arm.
+
+"I can come to the play with you on Saturday night, after all," he said.
+"I have wired to Campion to make a fourth, and you will get some other
+woman, won't you?"
+
+"I will try," said Lady Ver, and she looked right into his eyes; then she
+turned to me. "I shall feel so cruel leaving you alone, Evangeline" (at
+once, almost, she called me Evangeline; I should never do that with
+strangers), "but I suppose you ought not to be seen at a play just yet."
+
+"I like being alone," I said. "I shall go to sleep early."
+
+Then they settled to dine all together at her house, and go on; so,
+knowing I should see him again, I did not even say good-bye to Lord
+Robert, and he left by the early train.
+
+A number of the guests came up to London with us.
+
+My leave-taking with Lady Katherine had been coldly cordial. I thanked her
+deeply for her kindness in asking me there. She did not renew the
+invitation; I expect she felt a person like me, who would have to look
+after themselves, was not a suitable companion to her altar-cloth and
+poker workers.
+
+Up to now, she told Lady Ver, of course I had been most carefully brought
+up and taken care of by Mrs. Carruthers, although she had not approved of
+her views. And having done her best for me at this juncture, saving me
+from staying alone with Mr. Carruthers, she felt it was all she was called
+upon to do. She thought my position would become too unconventional for
+their circle in future! Lady Ver told me all this with great glee. She
+was sure it would amuse me, it so amused her, but it made me a teeny bit
+remember the story of the boys and the frogs!
+
+Lady Ver now and then puts out a claw which scratches, while she ripples
+with laughter. Perhaps she does not mean it.
+
+This house is nice, and full of pretty things, as far as I have seen. We
+arrived just in time to fly into our clothes for dinner. I am in a wee
+room four stories up, by the three angels. I was down first, and Lord
+Robert and Mr. Campion were in the drawing-room. Sir Charles Verningham is
+in Paris, by-the-way, so I have not seen him yet.
+
+Lord Robert was stroking the hair of the eldest angel, who had not gone to
+bed. The loveliest thing she is, and so polite, and different to Mary
+Mackintosh's infants.
+
+He introduced Mr. Campion stiffly, and returned to Mildred--the angel.
+
+Suddenly mischief came into me, the reaction from the last dull days; so I
+looked straight at Mr. Campion from under my eyelashes, and it had the
+effect it always has on people--he became interested at once. I don't know
+why this does something funny to them. I remember I first noticed it in
+the school-room at Branches. I was doing a horrible exercise upon the
+_participe passe_, and feeling very _egaree_, when one of the old
+ambassadors came in to see mademoiselle. I looked up quickly, with my head
+a little down, and he said to mademoiselle, in a low voice, in German,
+that I had the strangest eyes he had ever seen, and that uplook under the
+eyelashes was the affair of the devil!
+
+Now I knew even then the affair of the devil is something attractive, so I
+have never forgotten it, although I was only about fifteen at the time. I
+always determined I would try it when I grew up and wanted to create
+emotions. Except Mr. Carruthers and Lord Robert, I have never had much
+chance, though.
+
+Mr. Campion sat down beside me on a sofa, and began to say at once that I
+ought to be going to the play with them. I spoke in my velvet voice, and
+said I was in too deep mourning, and he apologized so nicely, rather
+confused.
+
+He is quite a decent-looking person, smart and well groomed, like Lord
+Robert, but not that lovely shape. We talked on for about ten minutes. I
+said very little, but he never took his eyes off my face. All the time I
+was conscious that Lord Robert was fidgeting and playing with a china cow
+that was on a table near, and just before the butler announced Mrs.
+Fairfax he dropped it on the floor and broke its tail off.
+
+Mrs. Fairfax is not pretty; she has reddish-gold hair, with brown roots,
+and a very dark skin, but it is nicely done--the hair, I mean, and perhaps
+the skin too, as sideways you can see the pink sticking up on it. It must
+be rather a nuisance to have to do all that, but it is certainly better
+than looking like Mary Mackintosh. She doesn't balance nicely--bits of her
+are too long or too short. I do like to see everything in the right
+place--like Lord Robert's figure. Lady Ver came in just then, and we all
+went down to dinner. Mrs. Fairfax gushed at her a good deal. Lady Ver does
+not like her much--she told me in the train--but she was obliged to wire
+to her to come, as she could not get any one else Mr. Campion liked on so
+short a notice.
+
+"The kind of woman every one knows, and who has no sort of pride," she
+said.
+
+Well, even when I am really an adventuress I sha'n't be like that.
+
+Dinner was very gay.
+
+Lady Ver, away from her decorous relations, is most amusing. She says
+anything that comes into her head. Mrs. Fairfax got cross because Mr.
+Campion would speak to me; but as I did not particularly take to her, I
+did not mind, and just amused myself. As the party was so small, Lord
+Robert and I were obliged to talk a little, and once or twice I forgot
+and let myself be natural and smile at him. His eyebrows went up in that
+questioning, pathetic way he has, and he looked so attractive--that made
+me remember again, and instantly turn away. When we were coming into the
+hall, while Lady Ver and Mrs. Fairfax were up putting on their cloaks,
+Lord Robert came up close to me and whispered:
+
+"I _can't_ understand you. There is some reason for your treating me like
+this, and I will find it out. Why are you so cruel, little, wicked tiger
+cat?" and he pinched one of my fingers until I could have cried out.
+
+That made me so angry.
+
+"How dare you touch me!" I said. "It is because you know I have no one to
+take care of me that you presume like this."
+
+I felt my eyes blaze at him, but there was a lump in my throat. I would
+not have been hurt if it had been any one else, only angry; but he had
+been so respectful and gentle with me at Branches, and I had liked him so
+much. It seemed more cruel for him to be impertinent now.
+
+His face fell; indeed, all the fierceness went out of it, and he looked
+intensely miserable.
+
+"Oh, don't say that!" he said, in a choked voice. "I--oh, that is the one
+thing you know is not true."
+
+Mr. Campion, with his fur coat fastened, came up at that moment, saying
+gallant things, and insinuating that we must meet again, but I said
+good-night quietly, and came up the stairs without a word more to Lord
+Robert.
+
+"Good-night, Evangeline, pet," Lady Ver said, when I met her on the
+drawing-room landing, coming down. "I do feel a wretch, leaving you, but
+to-morrow I will really try and amuse you. You look very pale, child; the
+journey has tried you, probably."
+
+"Yes, I am tired," I tried to say in a natural voice, but the end word
+shook a little, and Lord Robert was just behind, having run up the stairs
+after me, so I fear he must have heard.
+
+"Miss Travers--please--" he implored, but I walked on up the next flight,
+and Lady Ver put her hand on his arm and drew him down with her, and as I
+got up to the fourth floor I heard the front door shut.
+
+And now they are gone and I am alone. My tiny room is comfortable, and the
+fire is burning brightly. I have a big arm-chair and books, and this, my
+journal, and all is cosey--only I feel so miserable.
+
+I won't cry and be a silly coward.
+
+Why, of course it is amusing to be free. And I am _not_ grieving over Mrs.
+Carruthers's death--only perhaps I am lonely, and I wish I were at the
+theatre. No, I don't--I--Oh, the thing I do wish is that--that--_no_, I
+won't write it even.
+
+Good-night, journal!
+
+
+
+
+                                                        300 PARK STREET,
+
+                                              Wednesday, _November 23d._
+
+
+Oh, how silly to want the moon! But that is evidently what is the matter
+with me. Here I am in a comfortable house with a kind hostess, and no
+immediate want of money, and yet I am restless, and sometimes unhappy.
+
+For the four days since I arrived Lady Ver has been so kind to me, taken
+the greatest pains to try and amuse me and cheer me up. We have driven
+about in her electric brougham and shopped, and agreeable people have been
+to lunch each day, and I have had what I suppose is a _succes_. At least
+she says so.
+
+I am beginning to understand things better, and it seems one must have no
+real feelings, just as Mrs. Carruthers always told me, if one wants to
+enjoy life.
+
+On two evenings Lady Ver has been out, with numbers of regrets at leaving
+me behind, and I have gathered that she has seen Lord Robert, but he has
+not been here, I am glad to say.
+
+I am real friends with the angels, who are delightful people, and very
+well brought up. Lady Ver evidently knows much better about it than Mary
+Mackintosh, although she does not talk in that way.
+
+I can't think what I am going to do next. I suppose soon this kind of
+drifting will seem quite natural, but at present the position galls me for
+some reason. I _hate_ to think people are being kind out of charity. How
+very foolish of me, though!
+
+Lady Merrenden is coming to lunch to-morrow. I am interested to see her,
+because Lord Robert said she was such a dear. I wonder what has become of
+him. He has not been here--I wonder--No, I am _too_ silly.
+
+Lady Ver does not get up to breakfast, and I go into her room and have
+mine on another little tray, and we talk, and she reads me bits out of her
+letters.
+
+She seems to have a number of people in love with her--that must be nice.
+
+"It keeps Charlie always devoted," she said, "because he realizes he owns
+what the other men want."
+
+She says, too, that all male creatures are fighters by nature; they don't
+value things they obtain easily, and which are no trouble to keep. You
+must always make them realize you will be off like a snipe if they relax
+their efforts to please you for one moment.
+
+Of course there are heaps of humdrum ways of living, where the husband is
+quite fond, but it does not make his heart beat, and Lady Ver says she
+couldn't stay on with a man whose heart she couldn't make beat when she
+wanted to.
+
+I am curious to see Sir Charles.
+
+They play bridge a good deal in the afternoon, and it amuses me a little
+to talk nicely to the man who is out for the moment, and make him not want
+to go back to the game.
+
+I am learning a number of things.
+
+
+                                                               _Night._
+
+
+Mr. Carruthers came to call this afternoon. He was the last person I
+expected to see when I went into the drawing-room after luncheon, to wait
+for Lady Ver. I had my out-door things on, and a big black hat, which is
+rather becoming, I am glad to say.
+
+"You here!" he exclaimed, as we shook hands.
+
+"Yes, why not me?" I said.
+
+He looked very self-contained and reserved, I thought, as if he had not
+the least intention of letting himself go to display any interest. It
+instantly aroused in me an intention to change all that.
+
+"Lady Verningham kindly asked me to spend a few days with her when we left
+Tryland," I said, demurely.
+
+"Oh, you are staying here! Well, I was over at Tryland the day before
+yesterday--an elaborate invitation from Lady Katherine to 'dine and sleep
+quietly,' which I only accepted as I thought I should see you."
+
+"How good of you," I said, sweetly. "And did they not tell you I had gone
+with Lady Verningham?"
+
+"Nothing of the kind. They merely announced that you had departed for
+London, so I supposed it was your original design of Claridge's, and I
+intended going round there some time to find you."
+
+Again I said it was so good of him, and I looked down.
+
+He did not speak for a second or two, and I remained perfectly still.
+
+"What are your plans?" he asked, abruptly.
+
+"I have no plans."
+
+"But you must have--that is ridiculous--you must have made some decision
+as to where you are going to live!"
+
+"No, I assure you," I said, calmly, "when I leave here on Saturday I shall
+just get into a cab and think of some place for it to take me to, I
+suppose, as we turn down Park Lane."
+
+He moved uneasily, and I glanced at him up from under my hat. I don't know
+why he does not attract me now as much as he did at first. There is
+something so cold and cynical about his face.
+
+"Listen, Evangeline," he said, at last. "Something must be settled for
+you. I cannot allow you to drift about like this. I am more or less your
+guardian, you know--you must feel that."
+
+"I don't a bit," I said.
+
+"You impossible little--witch." He came closer.
+
+"Yes, Lady Verningham says I am a witch, and a snake, and all sorts of
+bad, attractive things, and I want to go somewhere where I shall be able
+to show these qualities. England is dull. What do you think of Paris?"
+
+Oh, it did amuse me launching forth these remarks; they would never come
+into my head for any one else!
+
+He walked across the room and back. His face was disturbed.
+
+"You shall not go to Paris--alone. How can you even suggest such a thing?"
+he said.
+
+I did not speak. He grew exasperated.
+
+"Your father's people are all dead, you tell me, and you know nothing of
+your mother's relations. But who was she? What was her name? Perhaps we
+could discover some kith and kin for you."
+
+"My mother was called Miss Tonkins," I said.
+
+"_Called_ Miss Tonkins?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Then it was not her name. What do you mean?"
+
+I hated these questions.
+
+"I suppose it was her name. I never heard she had another."
+
+"Tonkins," he said--"Tonkins," and he looked searchingly at me with his
+monk-of-the-Inquisition air.
+
+I can be so irritating, not telling people things, when I like, and it was
+quite a while before he elicited the facts from me, which Mrs. Carruthers
+had often hurled at my head in moments of anger, that poor mamma's father
+had been Lord de Brandreth and her mother, Heaven knows who!
+
+"So you see," I ended with, "I haven't any relations, after all, have I?"
+
+He sat down upon the sofa.
+
+"Evangeline, there is nothing for it; you must marry me," he said.
+
+I sat down opposite him.
+
+"Oh, you are funny!" I said. "You, a clever diplomat, to know so little of
+women! Who in the world would accept such an offer?" and I laughed and
+laughed.
+
+"What am I to do with you?" he exclaimed, angrily.
+
+"Nothing." I laughed still, and I looked at him with my
+"affair-of-the-devil" look. He came over and forcibly took my hand.
+
+"Yes, you are a witch," he said--"a witch who casts spells and destroys
+resolutions and judgments. I determined to forget you, and put you out of
+my life--you are most unsuitable to me, you know--but as soon as I see you
+I am filled with only one desire. I _must_ have you for myself. I want to
+kiss you--to touch you. I want to prevent any other man from looking at
+you--do you hear me, Evangeline?"
+
+"Yes, I hear," I said; "but it does not have any effect on me. You would
+be awful as a husband. Oh, I know all about them!" and I looked up. "I saw
+several sorts at Tryland, and Lady Verningham has told me of the rest, and
+I know you would be no earthly good in that role!"
+
+He laughed, in spite of himself, but he still held my hand.
+
+"Describe their types to me, that I may see which I should be," he said,
+with great seriousness.
+
+"There is the Mackintosh kind--humble and 'titsy pootsy,' and a sort of
+under-nurse," I said.
+
+"That is not my size, I fear."
+
+"Then there is the Montgomerie--selfish and bullying, and near about
+money."
+
+"But I am not Scotch."
+
+"No--well, Lord Kestervin was English, and he fussed and worried, and
+looked out trains all the time."
+
+"I will have a groom of the chambers."
+
+"And they were all casual and indifferent to their poor wives--and
+boresome--and bored! And one told long stories, and one was stodgy, and
+one opened his wife's letters before she was down!"
+
+"Tell me the attributes of a perfect husband, then, that I may learn
+them," he said.
+
+"They have to pay all the bills----"
+
+"Well, I could do that."
+
+"And they have not to interfere with one's movements. And one must be able
+to make their hearts beat."
+
+"Well, you could do _that_!" and he bent nearer to me. I drew back.
+
+"And they have to take long journeys to the Rocky Mountains for months
+together, with men friends."
+
+"Certainly not!" he exclaimed.
+
+"There, you see!" I said; "the most important part you don't agree to.
+There is no use talking further."
+
+"Yes, there is! You have not said half enough. Have they to make your
+heart beat, too?"
+
+"You are hurting my hand."
+
+He dropped it.
+
+"Have they?"
+
+"Lady Ver said no husband could do that. The fact of their being one kept
+your heart quite quiet, and often made you yawn; but she said it was not
+necessary, as long as you could make theirs so that they would do all you
+asked."
+
+"Then do women's hearts never beat--did she tell you?"
+
+"Of course they beat. How simple you are for thirty years old! They beat
+constantly for--oh--for people who are not husbands."
+
+"That is the result of your observations, is it? You are probably right
+and I am a fool."
+
+"Some one said at lunch yesterday that a beautiful lady in Paris had her
+heart beating for you," I said, looking at him again.
+
+He changed--so very little. It was not a start, or a wince even--just
+enough for me to know he felt what I said.
+
+"People are too kind," he said. "But we have got no nearer the point. When
+will you marry me?"
+
+"I shall marry you--never! Mr. Carruthers," I said, "unless I get into an
+old maid soon and no one else asks me! Then if you go on your knees I may
+put out the tip of my fingers, perhaps!" and I moved towards the door,
+making him a sweeping and polite courtesy.
+
+He rushed after me.
+
+"Evangeline!" he exclaimed. "I am not a violent man as a rule; indeed, I
+am rather cool, but you would drive any one perfectly mad. Some day some
+one will strangle you--witch!"
+
+"Then I had better run away to save my neck," I said, laughing over my
+shoulder as I opened the door and ran up the stairs, and I peeped at him
+from the landing above. He had come out into the hall. "Good-bye," I
+called, and, without waiting to see Lady Ver, he tramped down the stairs
+and away.
+
+"Evangeline, what _have_ you been doing?" she asked, when I got into her
+room, where her maid was settling her veil before the glass, and trembling
+over it. Lady Ver is sometimes fractious with her--worse than I am with
+Veronique, far.
+
+"Evangeline, you look naughtier than ever--confess at once."
+
+"I have been as good as gold," I said.
+
+"Then why are those two emeralds sparkling so, may one ask?"
+
+"They are sparkling with conscious virtue," I said, demurely.
+
+"You have quarrelled with Mr. Carruthers--go away, Welby! Stupid woman,
+can't you see it catches my nose!"
+
+Welby retired meekly. (After she is cross, Lady Ver sends Welby to the
+theatre. Welby adores her.)
+
+"Evangeline, how dare you! I see it all. I gathered bits from Robert. You
+have quarrelled with the very man you must marry!"
+
+"What does Lord Robert know about me?" I said. That made me angry.
+
+"Nothing; he only said Mr. Carruthers admired you at Branches."
+
+"Oh!"
+
+"He is too attractive--Christopher! He is one of the 'married women's
+pets,' as Ada Fairfax says, and has never spoken to a girl before. You
+ought to be grateful we have let him look at you--minx!--instead of
+quarrelling, as I can see you have." She rippled with laughter, while she
+pretended to scold me.
+
+"Surely I may be allowed that chastened diversion!" I said. "I can't go to
+theatres!"
+
+"Tell me about it," she commanded, tapping her foot.
+
+But early in Mrs. Carruthers's days I learned that one is wiser when one
+keeps one's own affairs to one's self, so I fenced a little, and laughed,
+and we went out to drive finally, without her being any the wiser. Going
+into the park, we came upon a troop of the 3d Life Guards, who had been
+escorting the king to open something, and there rode Lord Robert in his
+beautiful clothes and a floating plume. He did look so lovely, and _my_
+heart suddenly began to beat--I could feel it, and was ashamed, and it did
+not console me greatly to reflect that the emotion caused by a uniform is
+not confined to nursemaids.
+
+Of course it must have been the uniform and the black horse--Lord Robert
+is nothing to me. But I hate to think that, mamma's mother having been
+nobody, I should have inherited these common instincts!
+
+
+
+
+                                                         300 PARK STREET,
+
+                                       Thursday evening, _November 24th._
+
+
+Lady Merrenden is so nice--one of those kind faces that even a tight
+fringe in a net does not spoil. She is tall and graceful, past fifty
+perhaps, and has an expression of Lord Robert about the eyes. At luncheon
+she was sweet to me at once, and did not look as if she thought I must be
+bad just because I have red hair, like elderly ladies do generally.
+
+I felt I wanted to be good and nice directly. She did not allude to my
+desolate position or say anything without tact, but she asked me to lunch
+as if I had been a queen and would honor her by accepting. For some reason
+I could see Lady Ver did not wish me to go--she made all sorts of excuses
+about wanting me herself--but also, for some reason, Lady Merrenden was
+determined I should, and finally settled it should be on Saturday, when
+Lady Ver is going down to Northumberland to her father's, and I am
+going--where? Alas! as yet I know not.
+
+When she had gone Lady Ver said old people without dyed hair or bridge
+proclivities were tiresome, and she smoked three cigarettes, one after
+the other as fast as she could. (Welby is going to the theatre again
+to-night!)
+
+I said I thought Lady Merrenden was charming. She snapped my head off for
+the first time, and then there was silence, but presently she began to
+talk, and fix herself in a most becoming way on the sofa--we were in her
+own sitting-room, a lovely place, all blue silk and French furniture and
+attractive things. She said she had a cold and must stay in-doors. She had
+changed immediately into a tea-gown, but I could not hear any cough.
+
+"Charlie has just wired he comes back to-night," she announced, at length.
+
+"How nice for you!" I sympathized; "you will be able to make his heart
+beat!"
+
+"As a matter of fact, it is extremely inconvenient, and I want you to be
+nice to him, and amuse him, and take his attention off me, like a pet,
+Evangeline," she cooed; and then: "What a lovely afternoon for November! I
+wish I could go for a walk in the park," she said.
+
+I felt it would be cruel to tease her further, and so announced my
+intention of taking exercise in that way with the angels.
+
+"Yes, it will do you good, dear child," she said, brightly, "and I will
+rest here and take care of my cold."
+
+"They have asked me to tea in the nursery," I said, "and I have accepted."
+
+"Jewel of a snake-girl!" she laughed--she is not thick.
+
+"Do you know the Torquilstone history?" she said, just as I was going out
+of the door.
+
+I came back--why, I can't imagine, but it interested me.
+
+"Robert's brother--half-brother, I mean--the duke, is a cripple, you know,
+and he is _toque_ on one point too--their blue blood. He will never marry,
+but he can cut Robert off with almost the bare title if he displeases
+him."
+
+"Yes," I said.
+
+"Torquilstone's mother was one of the housemaids. The old duke married her
+before he was twenty-one, and she, fortunately, joined her beery ancestors
+a year or so afterwards; and then much later he married Robert's mother,
+Lady Etheldrida Fitz Walter. There is sixteen years between them--Robert
+and Torquilstone, I mean."
+
+"Then what is he _toque_ about blue blood for, with a _tache_ like that?"
+I asked.
+
+"That is just it. He thinks it is such a disgrace that even if he were
+not a humpback he says he would never marry to transmit this stain to the
+future Torquilstones--and if Robert ever marries any one without a
+pedigree enough to satisfy an Austrian prince, he will disown him and
+leave every sou to charity."
+
+"Poor Lord Robert!" I said, but I felt my cheeks burn.
+
+"Yes, is it not tiresome for him? So, of course, he cannot marry until his
+brother's death, there is almost no one in England suitable."
+
+"It is not so bad, after all," I said; "there is always the delicious role
+of the 'married woman's pet,' open to him, isn't there?" and I laughed.
+
+"Little cat!" but she wasn't angry.
+
+"I told you I only scratched when I was scratched first," I said, as I
+went out of the room.
+
+The angels had started for their walk, and Veronique had to come with me
+at first to find them. We were walking fast down the path beyond Stanhope
+Gate, seeing their blue velvet pelisses in the distance, when we met Mr.
+Carruthers.
+
+He stopped and turned with me.
+
+"Evangeline, I was so angry with you yesterday," he said. "I very nearly
+left London and abandoned you to your fate, but now that I have seen you
+again--" He paused.
+
+"You think Paris is a long way off!" I said, innocently.
+
+"What have they been telling you?" he said, sternly, but he was not quite
+comfortable.
+
+"They have been saying it is a fine November, and the Stock Exchange is no
+place to play in, and if it weren't for bridge they would all commit
+suicide. That is what we talk of at Park Street."
+
+"You know very well what I mean. What have they been telling you about
+me?"
+
+"Nothing, except that there is a charming French lady who adores you, and
+whom you are devoted to--and I am so sympathetic. I like Frenchwomen, they
+put on their hats so nicely."
+
+"What ridiculous gossip! I don't think Park Street is the place for you to
+stay. I thought you had more mind than to chatter like this."
+
+"I suit myself to my company." I laughed, and waited for Veronique, who
+had stopped respectfully behind. She came up reluctantly. She disapproves
+of all English unconventionality, but she feels it her duty to encourage
+Mr. Carruthers.
+
+"Should she run on and stop the young ladies," she suggested, pointing to
+the angels in front.
+
+"Yes, do," said Mr. Carruthers, and before I could prevent her she was
+off.
+
+Traitress! She was thinking of her own comfortable quarters at Branches, I
+know.
+
+The sharp, fresh air got into my head. I felt gay, and without care. I
+said heaps of things to Mr. Carruthers, just as I had once before to
+Malcolm, only this was much more fun, because Mr. Carruthers isn't a
+red-haired Scotchman and can see things.
+
+It seemed a day of meetings, for when we got down to the end we
+encountered Lord Robert walking leisurely in our direction. He looked as
+black as night when he caught sight of us.
+
+"Hello, Bob!" said Mr. Carruthers, cheerfully. "Ages since I saw you. Will
+you come and dine to-night? I have a box for this winter opera that is on,
+and I am trying to persuade Miss Travers to come. She says Lady Verningham
+is not engaged to-night, she knows, and we might dine quietly and all go;
+don't you think so?"
+
+Lord Robert said he would, but he added, "Miss Travers would never come
+out before--she said she was in too deep mourning." He seemed aggrieved.
+
+"I am going to sit in the back of the box and no one will see me," I said.
+"And I do love music so."
+
+"We had better let Lady Verningham know at once then," said Mr.
+Carruthers.
+
+Lord Robert announced he was going there now, and would tell her.
+
+I knew that. The blue tea-gown with the pink roses, and the lace cap, and
+the bad cold were not for nothing. (I wish I had not written this; it is
+spiteful of me, and I am not spiteful, as a rule. It must be the east
+wind.)
+
+
+
+
+                                        Thursday night, _November 24th._
+
+
+"Now that you have embarked upon this--" Lady Ver said, when I ventured
+into her sitting-room, hearing no voices, about six o'clock. (Mr.
+Carruthers had left me at the door at the end of our walk, and I had been
+with the angels at tea ever since.) "Now that you have embarked upon this
+opera, I say, you will have to dine at Willis's with us. I won't be in
+when Charlie arrives from Paris. A blowy day like to-day his temper is
+sure to be impossible."
+
+"Very well," I said.
+
+Of what use, after all, for an adventuress like me to have sensitive
+feelings.
+
+"And I am leaving this house at a quarter to seven, I wish you to know,
+Evangeline, pet," she called after me, as I flew off to dress. As a rule
+Lady Ver takes a good hour to make herself into the attractive darling she
+is in the evening. She has not to do much, because she is lovely by
+nature, but she potters and squabbles with Welby, to divert herself, I
+suppose.
+
+However, to-night, with the terror upon her of a husband fresh from a
+rough Channel passage going to arrive at seven o'clock, she was actually
+dressed and down in the hall when I got there punctually at 6.45, and in
+the twinkle of an eye we were rolling in the electric to Willis's. I have
+only been there once before, and that to lunch in Mrs. Carruthers's days
+with some of the ambassadors; and it does feel gay going to a restaurant
+at night. I felt more excited than ever in my life, and such a situation,
+too!
+
+Lord Robert--_fruit defendu!_--and Mr. Carruthers--_empresse_--and to be
+kept in bounds!
+
+More than enough to fill the hands of a maiden of sixteen fresh from a
+convent, as old Count Someroff used to say when he wanted to express a
+really difficult piece of work.
+
+They were waiting for us just inside the door, and again I noticed that
+they were both lovely creatures, and both exceptionally distinguished
+looking.
+
+Lady Ver nodded to a lot of people before we took our seats in a nice
+little corner. She must have an agreeable time with so many friends. She
+said something which sounds so true in one of our talks, and I thought of
+it then.
+
+"It is wiser to marry the life you like, because after a little the man
+doesn't matter." She has evidently done that, but I wish it could be
+possible to have both--the man and the life. Well! Well!
+
+One has to sit rather close on those sofas, and as Lord Robert was not the
+host, he was put by me. The other two at a right-angle to us.
+
+I felt exquisitely gay--in spite of having an almost high black dress on
+and not even any violets.
+
+It was dreadfully difficult not to speak nicely to my neighbor, his
+directness and simplicity are so engaging, but I did try hard to
+concentrate myself on Christopher and leave him alone, only--I don't know
+why--the sense of his being so near me made me feel, I don't quite know
+what. However, I hardly spoke to him--Lady Ver shall never say I did not
+play fair--though, insensibly, even she herself drew me into a friendly
+conversation, and then Lord Robert looked like a happy school-boy.
+
+We had a delightful time.
+
+Mr. Carruthers is a perfect host. He has all the smooth and exquisite
+manners of the old diplomats, without their false teeth and things. I wish
+I were in love with him, or even I wish something inside me would only let
+me feel it was my duty to marry him; but it jumps up at me every time I
+want to talk to myself about it, and says, "Absolutely impossible."
+
+When it came to starting for the opera, "Mr. Carruthers will take you in
+his brougham, Evangeline," Lady Ver said, "and I will be protected by
+Robert. Come along, Robert," as he hesitated.
+
+"Oh, I say, Lady Ver!" he said, "I would love to come with you, but won't
+it look rather odd for Miss Evangeline to arrive alone with Christopher?
+Consider his character!"
+
+Lady Ver darted a glance of flame at him and got into the electric, while
+Christopher, without hesitation, handed me into his brougham. Lord Robert
+and I were two puppets, a part I do not like playing.
+
+I was angry altogether. She would not have dared to have left me go like
+this if I had been any one who mattered. Mr. Carruthers got in, and tucked
+his sable rug round me. I never spoke a word for a long time, and Covent
+Garden is not far off, I told myself. I can't say why I had a sense of
+_malaise_.
+
+There was a strange look in his face as a great lamp threw a light on it.
+"Evangeline," he said, in a voice I have not yet heard, "when are you
+going to finish playing with me? I am growing to love you, you know."
+
+"I am very sorry to hear it," I said, gently. "I don't want you to. Oh,
+please _don't_!" as he took my hand. "I--I--if you only knew how I _hate_
+being touched!"
+
+He leaned back and looked at me. There is something which goes to the head
+a little about being in a brougham with nice fur rugs alone with some one
+at night. The lights flashing in at the windows, and that faint scent of a
+very good cigar. I felt fearfully excited. If it had been Lord Robert, I
+believe--well----
+
+He leaned over very close to me. It seemed in another moment he would kiss
+me, and what could I do then? I couldn't scream, or jump out in Leicester
+Square, could I?
+
+"Why do you call me Evangeline?" I said, by way of putting him off. "I
+never said you might."
+
+"Foolish child!--I shall call you what I please. You drive me mad. I don't
+know what you were born for. Do you always have this effect on people?"
+
+"What effect?" I said, to gain time; we had got nearly into Long Acre.
+
+"An effect that causes one to lose all discretion. I feel I would give my
+soul to hold you in my arms."
+
+I told him I did not think it was at all nice or respectful of him to talk
+so--that I found such love revolting.
+
+"You tell me in your sane moments I am most unsuitable to you--you try to
+keep away from me--and then when you get close you begin to talk this
+stuff! I think it is an insult!" I said, angry and disdainful. "When I
+arouse devotion and tenderness in some one, then I shall listen, but to
+you and to this--never!"
+
+"Go on," he said. "Even in the dim light you look beautiful when cross."
+
+"I am not cross," I answered. "Only absolutely disgusted."
+
+By that time, thank goodness, we had got into the stream of carriages
+close to the opera-house. Mr. Carruthers, however, seemed hardly to notice
+this.
+
+"Darling," he said, "I will try not to annoy you; but you are so fearfully
+provoking. I--tell you truly, no man would find it easy to keep cool with
+you."
+
+"Oh, I don't know what it is, being cool, or not cool," I said, wearily.
+"I am tired of every one. Even as tiny a thing as Malcolm Montgomerie gets
+odd like this!"
+
+He leaned back and laughed, and then said, angrily: "Impertinence! I will
+wring his neck!"
+
+"Thank Heaven we have arrived!" I exclaimed, as we drove under the
+portico. I gave a great sigh of relief.
+
+Really, men are very trying and tiresome, and if I shall always have to
+put up with these scenes through having red hair, I almost wish it were
+mouse-colored, like Cicely Parker's. Mrs. Carruthers often said, "You
+need not suppose, Evangeline, that you are going to have a quiet life with
+your coloring; the only thing one can hope for is that you will screw on
+your head."
+
+Lady Ver and Lord Robert were already in the hall waiting for us, but the
+second I saw them I knew she had been saying something to Lord Robert. His
+face, so gay and _debonnaire_ all through dinner, now looked set and
+stern, and he took not the slightest notice of me as we walked to the
+box--the big one next the stage on the pit tier.
+
+Lady Ver appeared triumphant--her eyes were shining with big blacks in the
+middle, and such bright spots of pink in her cheeks--she looked lovely;
+and I can't think why, but I suddenly felt I hated her. It was horrid of
+me, for she was so kind, and settled me in the corner behind the curtain
+where I could see and not be seen, rather far back, while she and Lord
+Robert were quite in the front. It was "Carmen"--the opera. I had never
+seen it before.
+
+Music has such an effect--every note seems to touch some emotion in me. I
+feel wicked, or good, or exalted, or--or--oh, some queer feeling that I
+don't know what it is--a kind of electric current down my back, and as
+if--as if I would like to love some one and have them to kiss me. Oh, it
+sounds perfectly dreadful what I have written, but I can't help it--that
+is what some music does to me, and I said always I should tell the truth
+here.
+
+From the very beginning note to the end I was feeling--feeling--Oh, how I
+understand her--Carmen!--_fruit defendu_ attracted her so--the beautiful,
+wicked, fascinating snake. I also wanted to dance, and to move like that,
+and I unconsciously quivered perhaps. I was cold as ice, and fearfully
+excited. The back of Lord Robert's beautifully set head impeded my view at
+times. How exquisitely groomed he is! And one could see at a glance _his_
+mother had not been a housemaid! I never have seen anything look so well
+bred as he does.
+
+Lady Ver was talking to him in a cooing, low voice after the first act,
+and the second act, and indeed even when the third act had begun. He
+seemed much more _empresse_ with her than he generally does. It--it hurt
+me, that and the music and the dancing, and Mr. Carruthers whispering
+passionate little words at intervals, even though I paid no attention to
+them; but altogether I, too, felt a kind of madness.
+
+Suddenly Lord Robert turned round, and for five seconds looked at me, his
+lovely, expressive blue eyes swimming with wrath and reproach and--oh, how
+it hurt me!--contempt. Christopher was leaning over the back of my chair,
+quite close, in a devoted attitude.
+
+Lord Robert did not speak, but if a look could wither I must have turned
+into a dead oak-leaf. It awoke some devil in me. What had _I_ done to be
+annihilated so! _I_ was playing perfectly fair--keeping my word to Lady
+Ver, and--oh, I felt as if it were breaking my heart.
+
+But that look of Lord Robert's! It drove me to distraction, and every
+instinct to be wicked and attractive that I possess came up in me. I
+leaned over to Lady Ver, so that I must be close to him, and I said little
+things to her, never one word to him; but I moved my seat, making it
+certain the corner of his eye must catch sight of me, and I allowed my
+shoulders to undulate the faintest bit to that Spanish music. Oh, I can
+dance as Carmen, too! Mrs. Carruthers had me taught every time we went to
+Paris. She loved to see it herself.
+
+I could hear Christopher breathing very quickly. "My God!" he whispered,
+"a man would go to hell for you."
+
+Lord Robert got up abruptly and went out of the box.
+
+Then it was as if Don Jose's dagger plunged into my heart, not Carmen's.
+That sounds high-flown, but I mean it--a sudden, sick, cold sensation, as
+if everything was numb. Lady Ver turned round pettishly to Christopher.
+"What on earth is the matter with Robert?" she said.
+
+"There is a Persian proverb which asserts a devil slips in between two
+winds," said Christopher. "Perhaps that is what has happened in this box
+to-night."
+
+Lady Ver laughed harshly, and I sat there still as death. And all the time
+the music and the movement on the stage went on. I am glad she is murdered
+in the end--glad! Only I would like to have seen the blood gush out. I am
+fierce--fierce--sometimes.
+
+
+
+
+                                                         300 PARK STREET,
+
+                                         Friday morning, _November 25th._
+
+
+I know just the meaning of dust and ashes, for that is what I felt I had
+had for breakfast this morning, the day after "Carmen."
+
+Lady Ver had given orders she was not to be disturbed, so I did not go
+near her, and crept down to the dining-room, quite forgetting the master
+of the house had arrived. There he was, a strange, tall, lean man with
+fair hair, and sad, cross, brown eyes, and a nose inclined to pink at the
+tip--a look of indigestion about him, I feel sure. He was sitting in front
+of a _Daily Telegraph_ propped up on the teapot, and some cold, untasted
+sole on his plate.
+
+I came forward. He looked very surprised.
+
+"I--I'm Evangeline Travers," I announced.
+
+He said "How d'you do?" awkwardly. One could see without a notion what
+that meant.
+
+"I'm staying here," I continued. "Did you not know?"
+
+"Then won't you have some breakfast? Beastly cold, I fear," politeness
+forced him to utter. "No, Ianthe never writes to me. I had not heard any
+news for a fortnight, and I have not seen her yet."
+
+Manners have been drummed into me from early youth, so I said, politely,
+"You only arrived from Paris late last night, did you not?"
+
+"I got in about seven o'clock, I think," he replied.
+
+"We had to leave so early--we were going to the opera," I said.
+
+"A Wagner that begins at unearthly hours, I suppose?" he murmured,
+absently.
+
+"No, it was 'Carmen,' but we dined first with my--my--guardian, Mr.
+Carruthers."
+
+"Oh!"
+
+We both ate for a little. The tea was greenish black--and lukewarm. No
+wonder he has dyspepsia.
+
+"Are the children in, I wonder?" he hazarded, presently.
+
+"Yes," I said. "I went to the nursery and saw them as I came down."
+
+At that moment the three angels burst into the room, but came forward
+decorously and embraced their parent. They do not seem to adore him as
+they do Lady Ver.
+
+"Good-morning, papa," said the eldest, and the other two repeated it in
+chorus. "We hope you have slept well and had a nice passage across the
+sea."
+
+They evidently had been drilled outside.
+
+Then, nature getting uppermost, they patted him patronizingly.
+
+"Daddie, darling, have you brought us any new dolls from Paris?"
+
+"And I want one with red hair, like Evangeline," said Yseult, the
+youngest.
+
+Sir Charles seemed bored and uncomfortable; he kissed his three exquisite
+bits of Dresden china, so like and yet unlike himself--they have Lady
+Ver's complexion, but brown eyes and golden hair like his.
+
+"Yes; ask Harbottle for the packages," he said. "I have no time to talk to
+you. Tell your mother I will be in for lunch," and making excuses to me
+for leaving so abruptly--an appointment in the City--he shuffled out of
+the room.
+
+I wonder how Lady Ver makes his heart beat! I _don't_ wonder she
+prefers--Lord Robert.
+
+"Why is papa's nose so red?" said Yseult.
+
+"Hush!" implored Mildred. "Poor papa has come off the sea."
+
+"I don't love papa," said Corisande, the middle one. "He's cross, and
+sometimes he makes darling mummie cry."
+
+"We must always love papa," chanted Mildred, in a lesson voice. "We must
+always love our parents, and grandmamma, and grandpapa, and aunts and
+cousins--amen." The "amen" slipped out unawares, and she looked confused,
+and corrected herself when she had said it.
+
+"Let's find Harbottle. Harbottle is papa's valet," Corisande said, "and he
+is much thoughtfuller than papa. Last time he brought me a Highland boy
+doll, though papa had forgotten I asked for it."
+
+They all three went out of the room, first kissing me, and courtesying
+sweetly when they got to the door. They are never rude or boisterous, the
+three angels--I love them.
+
+Left alone, I did feel like a dead fish. The column "London Day by Day"
+caught my eye in the _Daily Telegraph_, and I idly glanced down it, not
+taking in the sense of the words, until "The Duke of Torquilstone has
+arrived at Vavasour House, St. James's, from abroad," I read.
+
+Well, what did it matter to me--what did anything matter to me?--Lord
+Robert had met us in the hall again, as we were coming out of the opera;
+he looked very pale, and he apologized to Lady Ver for his abrupt
+departure. He had got a chill, he said, and had gone to have a glass of
+brandy, and was all right now, and would we not come to supper, and
+various other _empresse_ things, looking at her with the greatest
+devotion. I might not have existed.
+
+She was capricious, as she sometimes is. "No, Robert, I am going home to
+bed. I have got a chill, too," she said.
+
+And the footman announcing the electric at that moment, we flew off and
+left them, Christopher having fastened my sable collar with an air of
+possession which would have irritated me beyond words at another time, but
+I felt cold and dead, and utterly numb.
+
+Lady Ver did not speak a word on the way back, and kissed me frigidly as
+she went into her room; then she called out:
+
+"I am tired, snake-girl; don't think I am cross. Good-night." And so I
+crept up to bed.
+
+To-morrow is Saturday and my visit ends. After my lunch with Lady
+Merrenden, I am a wanderer on the face of the earth.
+
+Where shall I wander to? I feel I want to go away by myself, away where I
+shall not see a human being who is English. I want to forget what they
+look like; I want to shut out of my sight their well-groomed heads; I
+want--oh, I do not know what I do want.
+
+Shall I marry Mr. Carruthers? He would eat me up, and then go back to
+Paris to the lady he loves. But I should have the life I like--and the
+Carruthers's emeralds are beautiful--and I love Branches--and--and----
+
+"Her ladyship would like to see you, miss," said a footman.
+
+So I went up the stairs.
+
+Lady Ver was in a darkened room, soft pink blinds right down beyond the
+half-drawn blue silk curtains.
+
+"I have a fearful head, Evangeline," she said.
+
+"Then I will smooth your hair," and I climbed up behind her and began to
+run over her forehead with the tips of my fingers.
+
+"You are really a pet, snake-girl," she said, "and you can't help it."
+
+"I can't help what?"
+
+"Being a witch. I knew you would hurt me when I first saw you, and I tried
+to protect myself by being kind to you."
+
+"Oh, dear Lady Ver!" I said, deeply moved. "I would not hurt you for the
+world, and indeed you misjudge me. I have kept the bargain to the very
+letter--and spirit."
+
+"Yes, I know you have to the letter, at least, but why did Robert go out
+of the box last night?" she demanded, wearily.
+
+"He said he had got a chill, did not he?" I replied, lamely. She clasped
+her hands passionately.
+
+"A chill! You don't know Robert. He never had a chill in his life," she
+said. "Oh, he is the dearest, dearest being in the world. He makes me
+believe in good and all things honest. He isn't vicious, and isn't a prig,
+and he knows the world, and he lives in its ways like the rest of us, and
+yet he doesn't begin by thinking every woman is fair game and undermining
+what little self-respect she may have left to her."
+
+"Yes," I said. I found nothing else to say.
+
+"If I had had a husband like that I would never have yawned," she went on;
+"and besides, Robert is too masterful and would be too jealous to let one
+divert one's self with another."
+
+"Yes," I said again, and continued to smooth her forehead.
+
+"He has sentiment, too--he is not matter-of-fact and brutal--and oh, you
+should see him on a horse!--he is too, too beautiful." She stretched out
+her arms in a movement of weariness that was pathetic and touched me.
+
+"You have known him a long, long time?" I said, gently.
+
+"Perhaps five years, but only casually until this season. I was busy with
+some one else before. I have played with so many." Then she roused
+herself up. "But Robert is the only one who has never made love to me.
+Always dear and sweet, and treating me like a queen, as if I were too high
+for that, and having his own way, and not caring a pin for any one's
+opinion. And I have wanted him to make love to me often. But now I realize
+it is no use. Only, you sha'n't have him, snake-girl! I told him as we
+were going to the opera you were as cold as ice, and were playing with
+Christopher, and I am going to take him down to Northumberland with me
+to-morrow out of your way. He shall be my devoted friend, at any rate. You
+would break his heart, and I shall still hold you to your promise."
+
+I said nothing.
+
+"Do you hear? I say: _You_ would break his heart. He would be only capable
+of loving straight to the end. The kind of love any other woman would die
+for--but--you--You are Carmen."
+
+At all events, not _she_, nor any other woman, shall ever see what I am or
+am not. My heart is not for them to peck at. So I said, calmly:
+
+"Carmen was stabbed!"
+
+"And serve her right! Fascinating, fiendish demon!" Then she laughed, her
+mood changing.
+
+"Did you see Charlie?" she said.
+
+"We breakfasted together."
+
+"Cheerful person, isn't he?"
+
+"No," I said. "He looked cross and ill."
+
+"Ill!" she said, with a shade of anxiety. "Oh, you only mean dyspeptic."
+
+"Perhaps."
+
+"Well, he always does when he comes from Paris. If you could go into his
+room and see the row of photographs on his mantelpiece, you might guess
+why."
+
+"Pictures of 'Sole Dieppoise' and 'Poulet a la Victoria aux Truffes,' no
+doubt," I hazarded.
+
+She doubled up with laughter. "Yes, just that," she said. "Well, he adores
+me in his way, and will bring me a new Cartier ring to make up for it--you
+will see at luncheon."
+
+"He is a perfect husband, then."
+
+"About the same as you will find Christopher. Only Christopher will start
+by being an exquisite lover. There is nothing he does not know, and
+Charlie has not an idea of that part. Heavens!--the dulness of my
+honeymoon!"
+
+"Mrs. Carruthers said all honeymoons were only another parallel to going
+to the dentist or being photographed. Necessary evils to be got through
+for the sake of the results."
+
+"The results!"
+
+"Yes, the nice house and the jewels and the other things."
+
+"Oh! Yes, I suppose she was right, but if one had married Robert one would
+have had both." She did not say both what--but oh, I knew!
+
+"You think Mr. Carruthers will make a fair husband, then?" I asked.
+
+"You will never really know Christopher. I have been acquainted with him
+for years. You will never feel he would tell you the whole truth about
+anything. He is an epicure, and an analyst of sensations. I don't know if
+he has any gods--he does not believe in them if he has; he believes in no
+one, and nothing, but perhaps himself. He is violently in love with you
+for the moment, and he wants to marry you, because he cannot obtain you on
+any other terms."
+
+"You are flattering," I said, rather hurt.
+
+"I am truthful. You will probably have a delightful time with him, and
+keep him devoted to you for years, because you are not in love with him;
+and he will take good care you do not look at any one else. I can imagine
+if one were in love with Christopher he would break one's heart, as he has
+broken poor Alicia Verney's."
+
+"Oh, but how silly! People don't have broken hearts now; you are talking
+like out of a book, dear Lady Ver."
+
+"There are a few cases of broken hearts, but they are not for book
+reasons--of death and tragedy, etc.--they are because we cannot have what
+we want, or keep what we have--" and she sighed.
+
+We did not speak for a few minutes, then she said, quite gayly:
+
+"You have made my head better; your touch is extraordinary; in spite of
+all, I like you, snake-girl. You are not found on every gooseberry-bush."
+
+We kissed lightly, and I left her and went to my room.
+
+Yes, the best thing I can do is to marry Christopher. I care for him so
+little that the lady in Paris won't matter to me, even if she is like Sir
+Charles's "Poulet a la Victoria aux Truffes." He is such a gentleman, he
+will at least be kind to me and refined and considerate--and the
+Carruthers emeralds are divine, and just my stones. I shall have them
+reset by Cartier. The lace, too, will suit me, and the sables, and I shall
+have the suite that Mrs. Carruthers used at Branches done up with pale,
+pale green, and burn all the early Victorians! And no doubt existence
+will be full of triumphs and pleasure.
+
+But oh--I wish--I wish it were possible to obtain--"both!"
+
+
+
+
+                                                         300 PARK STREET,
+
+                                                          _Friday night._
+
+
+Luncheon passed off very well. Sir Charles returned from the City improved
+in temper, and, as Lady Ver had predicted, presented her with a Cartier
+jewel. It was a brooch, not a ring, but she was delighted, and purred to
+him.
+
+He was a little late, and we were seated, a party of eight, when he came
+in. They all chaffed him about Paris, and he took it quite
+good-humoredly--he even seemed pleased. He has no wit, but he looks like a
+gentleman, and I dare say as husbands go he is suitable.
+
+I am getting quite at home in the world, and can speak to any one. I
+listen, and I do not talk much, only when I want to say something that
+makes them think.
+
+A very nice man sat next me to-day; he reminded me of the old generals at
+Branches. We had quite a war of wits, and it stimulated me.
+
+He told me, among other things, when he discovered who I was, that he had
+known papa--papa was in the same Guards with him--and that he was the
+best-looking man of his day. Numbers of women were in love with him, he
+said, but he was a faithless being, and rode away.
+
+"He probably enjoyed himself--don't you think so?--and he had the good
+luck to die in his zenith," I said.
+
+"He was once engaged to Lady Merrenden, you know. She was Lady Sophia
+Vavasour then, and absolutely devoted to him, but Mrs. Carruthers came
+between them and carried him off--she was years older than he was, too,
+and as clever as paint."
+
+"Poor papa seems to have been a weak creature, I fear."
+
+"All men are weak," he said.
+
+"And then he married and left Mrs. Carruthers, I suppose?" I asked. I
+wanted to hear as much as I could.
+
+"Ye-e-s," said my old colonel. "I was best man at the wedding."
+
+"And what was she like, my mamma?"
+
+"She was the loveliest creature I ever saw," he said--"as lovely as you,
+only you are the image of your father, all but the hair--his was fair."
+
+"No one has ever said I was lovely before. Oh, I am so glad if you think
+so," I said. It did please me. I have often been told I am attractive and
+extraordinary, and wonderful and divine, but never just lovely. He would
+not say any more about my parents, except that they hadn't a sou to live
+on, and were not very happy--Mrs. Carruthers took care of that.
+
+Then, as every one was going, he said: "I am awfully glad to have met you.
+We must be pals, for the sake of old times," and he gave me his card for
+me to keep his address, and told me if ever I wanted a friend to send him
+a line--Colonel Tom Carden, The Albany.
+
+I promised I would.
+
+"You might give me away at my wedding," I said, gayly. "I am thinking of
+getting married, some day!"
+
+"That I will," he promised; "and, by Jove! the man will be a fortunate
+fellow."
+
+Lady Ver and I drove after luncheon--me paid some calls, and went in to
+tea with the Montgomeries, who had just arrived at Brown's Hotel for a
+week's shopping.
+
+"Aunt Katherine brings those poor girls up always at this time, and takes
+them to some impossible old dressmaker of her own in the daytime, and to
+Shakespeare or a concert at night, and returns with them equipped in more
+hideous garments each year. It is positively cruel," said Lady Ver, as we
+went up the stairs to their _appartement_.
+
+There they were, sitting round the tea-table just as at Tryland--Kirstie
+and Jean embroidering and knitting, and the other two reading new
+catalogues of books for their work.
+
+Lady Ver began to tease them. She asked them all sorts of questions about
+their new frocks, and suggested they had better go to Paris once in a way.
+Lady Katherine was like ice. She strongly disapproved of my being with her
+niece, one could see.
+
+The connection with the family she hoped would be ended with my visit to
+Tryland. Malcolm was arriving in town, too, we gathered, and Lady Ver left
+a message to ask him to dine to-night.
+
+Then we got away.
+
+"If one of those lumps of suet had a spark of spirit they would go
+straight to the devil," Lady Ver said as we went down the stairs. "Think
+of it--ties and altar-cloths in London! Mercifully they could not dine
+to-night. I had to ask them, and they generally come once while they are
+up--the four girls and Aunt Katherine--and it is with the greatest
+difficulty I can collect four young men for them if they get the least
+hint whom they are to meet. I generally secure a couple of socially
+budding Jews, because I feel the subscriptions for their charities which
+they will pester whoever they do sit next for are better filched from the
+Hebrew than from some pretty, needy Guardsman. Oh, what a life!"
+
+She was so kind to me on the way back; she said she hated leaving me alone
+on the morrow, and that I must settle now what I was going to do or she
+would not go. I said I would go to Claridge's, where Mrs. Carruthers and I
+had always stayed, and remain quietly alone with Veronique. I could afford
+it for a week. So we drove there and made the arrangement.
+
+"It is absolutely impossible for you to go on like this, dear child," she
+said. "You must have a chaperone; you are far too pretty to stay alone in
+a hotel. What _can_ I do for you?"
+
+I felt so horribly uncomfortable I was really at my wits' end. Oh, it is
+no fun being an adventuress, after all, if you want to keep your friends
+of the world as well.
+
+"Perhaps it won't matter if I don't see any one for a few days," I said.
+"I will write to Paris. My old mademoiselle is married there to a
+flourishing poet, I believe--perhaps she would take me as a paying guest
+for a little."
+
+"That is very visionary--a French poet! Horrible, long-haired, frowsy
+creature! Impossible! Surely you see how necessary it is for you to marry
+Christopher as soon as you can, Evangeline, don't you?" she said, and I
+was obliged to admit there were reasons.
+
+"The truth is, you can't be the least eccentric or unconventional if you
+are good-looking and unmarried," she continued. "You may snap your fingers
+at society, but if you do you won't have a good time, and all the men will
+either foolishly champion you or be impertinent to you."
+
+"Oh, I realize it," I said, and there was a lump in my throat.
+
+"I shall write to Christopher to-morrow," she went on, "and thank him for
+our outing last night, and I shall say something nice about you and your
+loneliness, and that he, as a kind of relation, may go and see you on
+Sunday, as long as he doesn't make love to you, and he can take you to the
+Zoo--don't see him in your sitting-room. That will give him just the extra
+fillip, and he will go, and you will be demure, and then by those
+stimulating lions' and tigers' cages you can plight your troth. It will be
+quite respectable. Wire to me at once on Monday to Sedgwick, and you must
+come back to Park Street directly I return on Thursday, if it is all
+settled."
+
+I thanked her as well as I could. She was quite ingenuous and quite
+sincere. I should be a welcome guest as Christopher's fiancee, and there
+was no use my feeling bitter about it--she was quite right.
+
+As I put my hand on Malcolm's skinny arm going down to the dining-room,
+the only consolation was my fate had not got to be him. I would rather be
+anything in the world than married to that!
+
+I tried to be agreeable to Sir Charles. We were only a party of six. An
+old Miss Harpenden, who goes everywhere to play bridge, and Malcolm, and
+one of Lady Ver's young men, and I. Sir Charles is absent, and brings
+himself back. He fiddles with the knives and forks, and sprawls on the
+table rather, too. He looks at Lady Ver with admiration in his eyes. It is
+true, then, in the intervals of Paris, I suppose, she can make his heart
+beat.
+
+Malcolm made love to me after dinner. We were left to talk when the others
+sat down to bridge in the little drawing-room.
+
+"I missed you so terribly, Miss Travers," he said, priggishly, "when you
+left us that I realized I was extremely attracted by you."
+
+"No, you don't say so!" I said, innocently. "Could one believe a thing
+like that?"
+
+"Yes," he said, earnestly. "You may, indeed, believe it."
+
+"Do not say it so suddenly, then," I said, turning my head away so that he
+could not see how I was laughing. "You see, to a red-haired person like me
+these compliments go to my head."
+
+"Oh, I do not want to flurry you," he said, affably. "I know I have been a
+good deal sought after--perhaps on account of my possessions"--this with
+arrogant modesty--"but I am willing to lay everything at your feet if you
+will marry me."
+
+"Everything?" I asked.
+
+"Yes, everything."
+
+"You are too good, Mr. Montgomerie--but what would your mother say?"
+
+He looked uneasy and slightly unnerved.
+
+"My mother, I fear, has old-fashioned notions, but I am sure if you went
+to her dressmaker--you--you would look different."
+
+"Should you like me to look different, then? You wouldn't recognize me,
+you know, if I went to her dressmaker."
+
+"I like you just as you are," he said, with an air of great condescension.
+
+"I am overcome," I said, humbly. "But--but--what is this story I hear
+about Miss Angela Grey? A lady, I see in the papers, who dances at the
+Gaiety, is it not? Are you sure she will permit you to make this
+declaration without her knowledge?"
+
+He became petrified.
+
+"Who has told you about her?" he asked.
+
+"No one," I said. "Jean said your father was angry with you on account of
+a horse of that name, but I chanced to see it in the list of attractions
+at the Gaiety, so I conclude it is not a horse; and if you are engaged to
+her, I don't think it is quite right of you to try and break my heart."
+
+"Oh, Evangeline--Miss Travers!" he spluttered. "I am greatly attached to
+you--the other was only a pastime--a--a--Oh, we men, you know--young
+and--and--run after--have our temptations, you know. You must think
+nothing about it. I will never see her again, except just to finally say
+good-bye. I promise you."
+
+"Oh, I could not do a mean thing like that, Mr. Montgomerie," I said. "You
+must not think of behaving so on my account. I am not altogether
+heartbroken, you know; in fact, I rather think of getting married,
+myself."
+
+He bounded up.
+
+"Oh, you have deceived me, then!" he said, in self-righteous wrath. "After
+all I said to you that evening at Tryland, and what you promised then!
+Yes, you have grossly deceived me."
+
+I could not say I had not listened to a word he had said that night and
+was utterly unconscious of what I had promised. Even his self-appreciation
+did not deserve such a blow as that, so I softened my voice and natural
+anger at his words, and said, quite gently:
+
+"Do not be angry. If I have unconsciously given you a wrong impression I
+am sorry, but if one came to talking of deceiving, you have deceived me
+about Miss Grey, so do not let us speak further upon the matter. We are
+quits. Now, won't you be friends as you have always been?" and I put out
+my hand and smiled frankly in his face. The mean little lines in it
+relaxed, he pulled himself together, and took my hand and pressed it
+warmly. From which I knew there was more in the affair of Angela Grey than
+met the eye.
+
+"Evangeline," he said. "I shall always love you; but Miss Grey is an
+estimable young woman--there is not a word to be said against her moral
+character--and I have promised her my hand in marriage, so perhaps we had
+better say good-bye."
+
+"Good-bye," I said; "but I consider I have every reason to feel insulted
+by your offer, which was not, judging from your subsequent remarks, worth
+a moment's thought."
+
+"Oh, but I love you!" he said, and by his face, for the time, this was
+probably true. So I did not say any more, and we rose and joined the
+bridge players. And I contrived that he should not speak to me again alone
+before he said good-night.
+
+"Did Malcolm propose to you?" Lady Ver asked as we came up to bed. "I
+thought I saw a look in his eye at dinner."
+
+I told her he had done it in a kind of a way, with a reservation in favor
+of Miss Angela Grey.
+
+"That is too dreadful!" she said. "There is a regular epidemic in some of
+the Guards regiments just now to marry these poor, common things with high
+moral characters and indifferent feet. But I should have thought the
+cuteness of the Scot would have protected Malcolm from their designs. Poor
+Aunt Katherine!"
+
+
+
+
+                                                              CLARIDGE'S,
+
+                                               Saturday, _November 26th._
+
+
+Lady Ver went off early to the station to catch her train to
+Northumberland this morning, and I hardly saw her to say good-bye. She
+seemed out of temper, too, on getting a note--she did not tell me who it
+was from or what it was about, only she said immediately after that I was
+not to be stupid. "Do not play with Christopher further," she said, "or
+you will lose him. He will certainly come and see you to-morrow. He wrote
+to me this morning in answer to mine of last night, but he says he won't
+go to the Zoo, so you will have to see him in your sitting-room, after
+all. He will come about four."
+
+I did not speak.
+
+"Evangeline," she said, "promise me you won't be a fool."
+
+"I--won't be a fool," I said.
+
+Then she kissed me and was off, and a few moments after I also started for
+Claridge's.
+
+I have a very nice little suite right up at the top, and if only it were
+respectable for me, and I could afford it, I could live here very
+comfortably by myself for a long time.
+
+At a quarter to two I was ringing the bell at 200 Carlton House
+Terrace--Lady Merrenden's house--with a strange feeling of excitement and
+interest. Of course, it must have been because once she had been engaged
+to papa. In the second thoughts take to flash, I remembered Lord Robert's
+words when I talked of coming to London alone at Branches--how he would
+bring me here, and how she would be kind to me until I could "hunt round."
+
+Oh, it came to me with a sudden stab. He was leaning over Lady Ver in the
+northern train by now.
+
+Such a stately, beautiful hall it is when the doors open, with a fine
+staircase going each way, and full of splendid pictures, and the whole
+atmosphere pervaded with an air of refinement and calm.
+
+The footmen are tall, and not too young, and even at this time of the year
+have powdered hair.
+
+Lady Merrenden was up-stairs in the small drawing-room, and she rose to
+meet me, a book in her hand, when I was announced.
+
+Her manners are so beautiful in her own home--gracious, and not the least
+patronizing.
+
+"I am so glad to see you," she said. "I hope you won't be bored, but I
+have not asked any one to meet you, only my nephew Torquilstone is
+coming. He is a great sufferer, poor fellow, and numbers of faces worry
+him at times----"
+
+I said I was delighted to see her alone. No look more kind could be
+expressed in a human countenance than is expressed in hers. She has the
+same exceptional appearance of breeding that Lord Robert has--tiny ears
+and wrists and head; even dressed as a char-woman Lady Merrenden would
+look like a great lady.
+
+Very soon we were talking without the least restraint. She did not speak
+of people or of very deep things, but it gave one the impression of an
+elevated mind and a knowledge of books, and wide thoughts. Oh, I could
+love her so easily.
+
+We had been talking for nearly a quarter of an hour. She had incidentally
+asked me where I was staying now, and had not seemed surprised or shocked
+when I said Claridge's, and by myself.
+
+All she said was: "What a lonely little girl! But I dare say it is very
+restful sometimes to be by one's self, only you must let your friends come
+and see you, won't you?"
+
+"I don't think I have any friends," I said. "You see, I have been out so
+little, but if you would come and see me--oh, I should be so grateful."
+
+"Then you must count me as one of your rare friends!" she said.
+
+Nothing could be so rare or so sweet as her smile. Fancy papa throwing
+over this angel for Mrs. Carruthers! Men are certainly unaccountable
+creatures.
+
+I said I would be too honored to have her for a friend, and she took my
+hand.
+
+"You bring back the long ago," she said. "My name is Evangeline,
+too--Sophia Evangeline--and I sometimes think you may have been called so
+in remembrance of me."
+
+What a strange, powerful factor love must be! Here were these two women,
+Mrs. Carruthers and Lady Merrenden--the very opposites of each other--and
+they had evidently both adored papa, and both, according to their natures,
+had taken an interest in me in consequence, the child of a third woman who
+had superseded them both! Papa must have been extraordinarily fascinating,
+for to the day of her death Mrs. Carruthers had his miniature on her
+table, with a fresh rose beside it--his memory the only soft spot, it
+seemed, in her hard heart.
+
+And this sweet lady's eyes melted in tenderness when she spoke of the long
+ago, although she does not know me well enough yet to say anything
+further. To me papa's picture is nothing so very wonderful--just a
+good-looking young Guardsman, with eyes shaped like mine, only gray, and
+light, curly hair. He must have had "a way with him," as the servants say.
+
+At that moment the Duke of Torquilstone came in. Oh, such a sad sight!
+
+A poor, humpbacked man, with a strong face and head and a soured,
+suspicious, cynical expression. He would evidently have been very tall but
+for his deformity--a hump stands out on his back almost like Mr. Punch. He
+can't be much over forty, but he looks far older; his hair is quite gray.
+
+Not a line or an expression in him reminded me of Lord Robert, I am glad
+to say.
+
+Lady Merrenden introduced us, and Lord Merrenden came in then, too, and we
+all went down to luncheon.
+
+It was a rather small table, so we were all near one another and could
+talk.
+
+The dining-room is immense.
+
+"I always have this little table when we are such a small party," Lady
+Merrenden said. "It is more cosey, and one does not feel so isolated."
+
+How I agreed with her!
+
+The duke looked at me searchingly, often, with his shrewd little eyes.
+One could not say if it was with approval or disapproval.
+
+Lord Merrenden talked about politics and the questions of the day. He has
+a courteous manner, and all their voices are soft and refined. And nothing
+could have been more smooth and silent than the service.
+
+The luncheon was very simple and very good, but not half the number of
+rich dishes like at Branches, or Lady Ver's. There was only one bowl of
+violets on the table, but the bowl was gold, and a beautiful shape, and
+the violets nearly as big as pansies. My eyes wandered to the
+pictures--Gainsborough's and Reynolds's and Romney's--of stately men and
+women.
+
+"You met my other nephew, Lord Robert, did you not?" Lady Merrenden said,
+presently. "He told me he had gone to Branches, where I believe you
+lived."
+
+"Yes," I said, and--oh, it is too humiliating to write!--I felt my cheeks
+get crimson at the mention of Lord Robert's name. What could she have
+thought? Can anything be so young-ladylike and ridiculous!
+
+"He came to the opera with us the night before last," I continued. "Mr.
+Carruthers had a box, and Lady Verningham and I went with them." Then,
+recollecting how odd this must sound in my deep mourning, I added, "I am
+so fond of music."
+
+"So is Robert," she said. "I am sure he must have been pleased to meet a
+kindred spirit there."
+
+Sweet, charming, kind lady! If she only knew what emotions were really
+agitating us in that box that night! I fear the actual love of music was
+the least of them.
+
+The duke, during this conversation and from the beginning mention of Lord
+Robert's name, never took his eyes off my face--it was very disconcerting;
+his look was clearer now, and it was certainly disapproving.
+
+We had coffee up-stairs, out of such exquisite Dresden cups, and then Lord
+Merrenden showed me some miniatures. Finally it happened that the duke and
+I were left alone for a minute looking out of a window onto the Mall.
+
+His eyes pierced me through and through. Well, at all events, my nose and
+my ears and my wrists are as fine as Lady Merrenden's--poor mamma's odd
+mother does not show in me on the outside, thank goodness! He did not say
+much, only commonplaces about the view. I felt afraid of him, and rather
+depressed. I am sure he dislikes me.
+
+"May I not drive you somewhere?" my kind hostess said. "Or, if you have
+nowhere in particular to go, will you come with me?"
+
+I said I should be delighted. An ache of loneliness was creeping over me.
+I wanted to put off as long as possible getting back to the hotel. I
+wanted to distract my thoughts from dwelling upon to-morrow and what I was
+going to say to Christopher. To-morrow--that seems the end of the world!
+
+She has beautiful horses, Lady Merrenden, and the whole turn-out, except
+she herself, is as smart as can be. She really looks a little frumpish
+out-of-doors, and perhaps that is why papa went on to Mrs. Carruthers.
+Goodness and dearness like this do not suit male creatures as well as
+caprice, it seems.
+
+She was so good to me, and talked in the nicest way. I quite forgot I was
+a homeless wanderer, and arrived at Claridge's about half-past four in
+almost good spirits.
+
+"You won't forget I am to be one of your friends," Lady Merrenden said, as
+I bid her good-bye.
+
+"Indeed I won't," I replied, and she drove off, smiling at me.
+
+I do wonder what she will think of my marriage with Christopher.
+
+Now it is night. I have had a miserable, lonely dinner in my
+sitting-room. Veronique has been most gracious and coddling--she feels Mr.
+Carruthers in the air, I suppose--and so I must go to bed.
+
+Oh, why am I not happy, and why don't I think this is a delightful and
+unusual situation, as I once would have done? I only feel depressed and
+miserable, and as if I wished Christopher at the bottom of the sea. I have
+told myself how good-looking he is, and how he attracted me at Branches,
+but that was before--Yes, I may as well write what I was going to--before
+Lord Robert arrived. Well, he and Lady Ver are talking together on a nice
+sofa by now, I suppose, in a big, well-lit drawing-room, and--Oh, I
+_wish_, I _wish_ I had never made any bargain with her--perhaps, now, in
+that case--Ah, well----
+
+
+                                                      _Sunday afternoon._
+
+
+No, I can't bear it. All the morning I have been in a fever, first hot and
+then cold. What will it be like? Oh, I shall faint when he kisses me. And
+I know he will be dreadful like that; I have seen it in his eye. He will
+eat me up. Oh, I am sure I shall hate it. No man has ever kissed me in my
+life, and I can't judge, but I am sure it is frightful--unless--I feel as
+if I shall go crazy if I stay here any longer. I can't--I can't stop and
+wait and face it. I must have some air first. There is a misty fog. I
+would like to go out and get lost in it, and I _will_, too! Not get lost,
+perhaps, but go out in it, and alone. I won't have even Veronique. I shall
+go by myself into the park. It is growing nearly dark, though only three
+o'clock. I have got an hour. It looks mysterious, and will soothe me, and
+suit my mood, and then, when I come in again, I shall perhaps be able to
+bear it bravely, kisses and all.
+
+
+
+
+                                                              CLARIDGE'S,
+
+                                         Sunday evening, _November 27th._
+
+
+I have a great deal to write, and yet it is only a few hours since I shut
+up this book and replaced the key on my bracelet.
+
+By a quarter-past three I was making my way through Grosvenor Square.
+Everything was misty and blurred, but not actually a thick fog--or any
+chance of being lost. By the time I got into the park it had lifted a
+little. It seemed close and warm, and as I went on I got more depressed. I
+have never been out alone before--that in itself seemed strange, and ought
+to have amused me.
+
+The image of Christopher kept floating in front of me; his face seemed to
+have the expression of a satyr. Well, at all events, he would never be
+able to break my heart like "Alicia Verney's"--nothing could ever make me
+care for him. I tried to think of all the good I was going to get out of
+the affair, and how really fond I was of Branches.
+
+I walked very fast; people loomed at me, and then disappeared in the mist.
+It was getting almost dusk, and suddenly I felt tired and sat down on a
+bench.
+
+I had wandered into a side path where there were no chairs. On the bench
+before mine I saw, as I passed, a tramp huddled up. I wondered what his
+thoughts were, and if he felt any more miserable than I did. I dare say I
+was crouching in a depressed position, too.
+
+Not many people went by, and every moment it grew darker. In all my life,
+even on the days when Mrs. Carruthers taunted me about mamma being nobody,
+I have never felt so wretched. Tears kept rising in my eyes, and I did not
+even worry to blink them away. Who would see me, and who in the world
+would care if they did see?
+
+Suddenly I was conscious that a very perfect figure was coming out of the
+mist towards me, but not until he was close to me, and stopping, with a
+start, peered into my face, did I recognize it was Lord Robert.
+
+"Evangeline!" he exclaimed, in a voice of consternation. "I--what, oh!
+what is the matter?"
+
+No wonder he was surprised. Why he had not taken me for some tramp, too,
+and passed on, I don't know.
+
+"Nothing," I said, as well as I could, and tried to tilt my hat over my
+eyes. I had no veil on, unfortunately.
+
+"I have just been for a walk. Why do you call me Evangeline and why are
+you not in Northumberland?"
+
+He looked so tall and beautiful, and his face had no expression of
+contempt or anger now, only distress and sympathy.
+
+"I was suddenly put on guard yesterday, and could not get leave. I am
+going to-morrow," he said, not answering the first part, "but, oh, I can't
+bear to see you sitting here alone and looking so, so miserable. Mayn't I
+take you home? You will catch cold in the damp."
+
+"Oh no, not yet. I won't go back yet," I said, hardly realizing what I was
+saying. He sat down beside me and slipped his hand into my muff, pressing
+my clasped fingers, the gentlest, friendliest caress a child might have
+made in sympathy. It touched some foolish chord in my nature, some want of
+self-control inherited from mamma's ordinary mother, I suppose; anyway the
+tears poured down my face. I could not help it. Oh, the shame of it! To
+sit crying in the park, in front of Lord Robert, of all people in the
+world, too!
+
+"Dear, dear little girl," he said, "tell me about it," and he held my hand
+in my muff with his strong, warm hand.
+
+"I--I have nothing to tell," I said, choking down a sob. "I am ashamed
+for you to see me like this, only--I am feeling so very miserable."
+
+"Dear child!" he said. "Well, you are not to be--I won't have it. Has some
+one been unkind to you? Tell me, tell me." His voice was trembling with
+distress.
+
+"It's--it's nothing," I mumbled.
+
+I dared not look at him, I knew his eyebrows would be up in that way that
+attracts me so dreadfully.
+
+"Listen," he whispered almost, and bent over me. "I want you to be friends
+with me so that I can help you. I want you to go back to the time we
+packed your books together. God knows what has come between us since--it
+is not of my doing. But I want to take care of you, dear little girl,
+to-day. It--oh, it hurts me so to see you crying here!"
+
+"I--would like to be friends," I said. "I never wanted to be anything
+else, but I could not help it, and I can't now."
+
+"Won't you tell me the reason?" he pleaded. "You have made me so
+dreadfully unhappy about it. I thought all sorts of things. You know I am
+a jealous beast."
+
+There can't in the world be another voice as engaging as Lord Robert's,
+and he has a trick of pronouncing words that is too attractive; and the
+way his mouth goes when he is speaking, showing his perfectly chiselled
+lips under the little mustache! There is no use pretending. I was sitting
+there on the bench going through thrills of emotion and longing for him to
+take me in his arms. It is too frightful to think of. I must be bad, after
+all.
+
+"Now you are going to tell me everything about it," he commanded. "To
+begin with: what made you suddenly change at Trylands after the first
+afternoon--and then, what is it that makes you so unhappy now?"
+
+"I can't tell you either," I said, very low. I hoped the common
+grandmother would not take me as far as doing mean tricks to Lady Ver.
+
+"Oh, you have made me wild!" he exclaimed, letting go my hand and leaning
+both elbows on his knees, while he pushed his hat to the back of his
+head--"perfectly mad with fury and jealousy! That brute Malcolm! And then
+looking at Campion at dinner, and, worst of all, Christopher in the box at
+'Carmen'! Wicked, naughty little thing! And yet underneath I have a
+feeling it is for some absurd reason, and not for sheer devilment. If I
+thought that, I would soon get not to care. I did think it at 'Carmen.'"
+
+"Yes, I know," I said.
+
+"You know what?" he looked up, startled; then he took my hand again and
+sat close to me.
+
+"Oh, please, please don't, Lord Robert!" I said.
+
+It really made me quiver so with the loveliest feeling I have ever known,
+that I knew I should never be able to keep my head if he went on.
+
+"Please, please don't hold my hand," I said. "It--it makes me not able to
+behave nicely."
+
+"Darling," he whispered, "then it shows that you like me, and I sha'n't
+let go until you tell me every little bit."
+
+"Oh, I can't, I can't!" I felt too tortured, and yet, waves of joy were
+rushing over me. That _is_ a word, "darling," for giving feelings down the
+back.
+
+"Evangeline," he said, quite sternly, "will you answer this question,
+then: Do you like me, or do you hate me? Because, as you must know very
+well, I love you."
+
+Oh, the wild joy of hearing him say that! What in the world did anything
+else matter? For a moment there was a singing in my ears, and I forgot
+everything but our two selves. Then the picture of Christopher waiting for
+me, with his cold cynic's face and eyes blazing with passion, rushed into
+my vision, and the duke's critical, suspicious, disapproving scrutiny,
+and I felt as if a cry of pain, like a wounded animal, escaped me.
+
+"Darling, darling, what is it? Did I hurt your dear little hand?" Lord
+Robert exclaimed, tenderly.
+
+"No," I whispered, brokenly; "but I cannot listen to you. I am going back
+to Claridge's now, and I am going to marry Mr. Carruthers."
+
+He dropped my hand as if it stung him.
+
+"Good God! Then it is true," was all he said.
+
+In fear I glanced at him, his face looked gray in the quickly gathering
+mist.
+
+"Oh, Robert!" I said, in anguish, unable to help myself. "It isn't because
+I want to. I--I--oh, probably I love you, but I must; there is nothing
+else to be done."
+
+"Isn't there?" he said, all the life and joy coming back to his face. "Do
+you think I will let Christopher, or any other man in the world have you,
+now that you have confessed that?" and, fortunately, there was no one in
+sight, because he put his arms round my neck and drew me close and kissed
+my lips.
+
+Oh, what nonsense people talk of heaven! Sitting on clouds and singing
+psalms and things like that! There can't be any heaven half so lovely as
+being kissed by Robert. I felt quite giddy with happiness for several
+exquisite seconds, then I woke up. It was all absolutely impossible, I
+knew, and I must keep my head.
+
+"Now you belong to me," he said, letting his arm slip down to my waist,
+"so you must begin at the beginning, and tell me everything."
+
+"No, no," I said, struggling feebly to free myself, and feeling so glad he
+held me tight. "It is impossible, all the same, and that only makes it
+harder. Christopher is coming to see me at four, and I promised Lady Ver I
+would not be a fool, and would marry him."
+
+"A fig for Lady Ver," he said, calmly. "If that is all, you leave her to
+me--she never argues with me."
+
+"It is not only that; I--I promised I would never play with you."
+
+"And you certainly never shall," he said, and I could see a look in his
+eye as he purposely misconstrued my words, and then he deliberately kissed
+me again. Oh, I like it better than anything else in the world! How could
+any one keep their head with Robert quite close, making love like that?
+
+"You certainly never--never--shall," he said again, with a kiss between
+each word. "I will take care of that. Your time of playing with people is
+over, mademoiselle. When you are married to me, I shall fight with any one
+who dares to look at you."
+
+"But I shall never be married to you, Robert," I said, though as I could
+only be happy for such a few moments I did not think it necessary to move
+away out of his arms. How thankful I was to the fog! and no one passing! I
+shall always adore fogs.
+
+"Yes, you will," he announced, with perfect certainty, "in about a
+fortnight, I should think. I can't and won't have you staying at
+Claridge's by yourself. I shall take you back this afternoon to Aunt
+Sophia. Only all that we can settle presently; now for the moment I want
+you to tell me you love me, and that you are sorry for being such a little
+brute all this time."
+
+"I did not know it until just now, but I think--I probably do love
+you--Robert," I said.
+
+He was holding my hand in my muff again, the other arm round my waist.
+Absolutely disgraceful behavior in the park. We might have been Susan Jane
+and Thomas Augustus, and yet I was perfectly happy, and felt it was the
+only natural way to sit.
+
+A figure appeared in the distance--we started apart.
+
+"Oh, really, really--" I gasped--"we---- you--must be different."
+
+He leaned back and laughed.
+
+"You sweet darling! Well, come, we will go for a drive in a hansom; we
+will choose one without a light inside. Albert Gate is quite close--come!"
+and he rose, and taking my arm, not offering his to me, like in books, he
+drew me on down the path.
+
+I am sure any one would be terribly shocked to read what I have written,
+but not so much if they knew Robert, and how utterly adorable he is, and
+how masterful, and simple, and direct. He does not split straws or bandy
+words. I had made the admission that I loved him, and that was enough to
+go upon.
+
+As we walked along I tried to tell him it was impossible, that I must go
+back to Christopher, that Lady Ver would think I had broken my word about
+it. I did not, of course, tell him of her bargain with me over him, but he
+probably guessed that, because before we got into the hansom even, he had
+begun to put me through a searching cross-examination as to the reasons
+for my behavior at Tryland, and Park Street, and the opera. I felt like a
+child with a strong man, and every moment more idiotically happy and in
+love with him.
+
+He told the cabman to drive to Hammersmith, and then put his arm round my
+waist again, and held my hand, pulling my glove off backward first. It is
+a great, big, granny muff of sable I have, Mrs. Carruthers's present on my
+last birthday. I never thought then to what charming use it would be put.
+
+"Now I think we have demolished all your silly little reasons for making
+me miserable," he said. "What others have you to bring forward as to why
+you can't marry me in a fortnight?"
+
+I was silent--I did not know how to say it--the principal reason of all.
+
+"Evangeline, darling," he pleaded. "Oh, why will you make us both unhappy?
+Tell me, at least."
+
+"Your brother, the duke," I said, very low. "He will never consent to your
+marrying a person like me, with no relations."
+
+He was silent for a second, then: "My brother is an awfully good fellow,"
+he said; "but his mind is warped by his infirmity. You must not think
+hardly of him; he will love you directly he sees you, like every one
+else."
+
+"I saw him yesterday," I said.
+
+Robert was so astonished.
+
+"Where did you see him?" he asked.
+
+Then I told him about meeting Lady Merrenden, and her asking me to
+luncheon, and about her having been in love with papa, and about the duke
+having looked me through and through with an expression of dislike.
+
+"Oh, I see it all," said Robert, holding me closer. "Aunt Sophia and I are
+great friends, you know; she has always been like my mother, who died when
+I was a baby. I told her all about you when I came from Branches, and how
+I had fallen deeply in love with you at first sight, and that she must
+help me to see you at Tryland; and she did, and then I thought you had
+grown to dislike me, so when I came back she guessed I was unhappy about
+something, and this is her first step to find out how she can do me a good
+turn. Oh, she is a dear!"
+
+"Yes, indeed, she is," I said.
+
+"Of course she is extra interested in you if she was in love with your
+father. So that is all right, darling; she must know all about your
+family, and can tell Torquilstone. Why, we have nothing to fear!"
+
+"Oh yes, we have," I said. "I know all the story of what your brother is
+_toque_ about. Lady Ver told me. You see, the awkward part is mamma was
+really nobody; her father and mother forgot to get married, and although
+mamma was lovely and had been beautifully brought up by two old ladies at
+Brighton, it was a disgrace for papa marrying her. Mrs. Carruthers has
+often taunted me with this."
+
+"Darling!" he interrupted, and began to kiss me again, and that gave me
+such feeling I could not collect my thoughts to go on with what I was
+saying for a few minutes. We both were rather silly, if it is silly to be
+madly, wildly happy, and oblivious of everything else.
+
+"I will go straight to Aunt Sophia now, when I take you back to
+Claridge's," he said, presently, when we had got a little calmer.
+
+I wonder what kisses do that it makes one have that perfectly lovely
+sensation down the back, just like certain music does, only much, much
+more so. I thought they would be dreadful things when it was a question of
+Christopher, but Robert! Oh, well, as I said before, I can't think of any
+other heaven.
+
+"What time is it?" I had sense enough to ask presently.
+
+He lit a match and looked at his watch.
+
+"Ten minutes past five," he exclaimed.
+
+"And Christopher was coming about four," I said; "and if you had not
+chanced to meet me in the park by now I should have been engaged to him,
+and probably trying to bear his kissing me."
+
+"My God!" said Robert, fiercely; "it makes me rave to think of it," and he
+held me so tight for a moment I could hardly breathe.
+
+"You won't have any one else's kisses ever again in this world, and that I
+tell you," he said, through his teeth.
+
+"I--I don't want them," I whispered creeping closer to him. "And I never
+have had any, never any one but you, Robert."
+
+"Darling," he said, "how that pleases me!"
+
+Of course, if I wanted to I could go on writing pages and pages of all the
+lovely things we said to each other, but it would sound, even to read to
+myself, such nonsense that I can't, and I couldn't make the tone of
+Robert's voice, or the exquisite fascination of his ways--tender, and
+adoring, and masterful. It must all stay in my heart, but oh! it is as if
+a fairy with a wand had passed and said "bloom" to a winter tree. Numbers
+of emotions that I had never dreamed about were surging through me--the
+floodgates of everything in my soul seemed opening in one rush of love and
+joy. While we were together nothing appeared to matter, all barriers
+melted away.
+
+Fate would be sure to be kind to lovers like us.
+
+We got back to Claridge's about six, and Robert would not let me go up to
+my sitting-room until he had found out if Christopher had gone.
+
+Yes, he had come at four, we discovered, and had waited twenty minutes,
+and then left, saying he would come again at half-past six.
+
+"Then you will write him a note, and give it to the porter for him, saying
+you are engaged to me and can't see him," Robert said.
+
+"No, I won't do that. I am not engaged to you, and cannot be until your
+family consent and are nice to me," I said.
+
+"Darling!" he faltered, and his voice trembled with emotion. "Darling,
+love is between you and me--it is our lives. However, that can go. The
+ways of my family--nothing shall ever separate you from me or me from you,
+I swear it! Write to Christopher."
+
+I sat down at a table in the hall and wrote:
+
+"DEAR MR. CARRUTHERS,--
+
+"I am sorry I was out," then I bit the end of my pen. "Don't come and see
+me this evening. I will tell you why in a day or two.
+
+                         "Yours sincerely,
+
+                              "EVANGELINE TRAVERS.
+
+
+"Will that do?" I said, and I handed it to Robert, while I addressed the
+envelope.
+
+"Yes," he said, and waited while I sealed it up and gave it to the porter.
+Then, with a surreptitious squeeze of the hand, he left me to go to Lady
+Merrenden.
+
+I have come up to my little sitting-room a changed being. The whole world
+revolves for me upon another axis, and all within the space of three short
+hours.
+
+
+
+
+                                                              CLARIDGE'S,
+
+                                           Sunday night, _November 27th._
+
+
+Late this evening, about eight o'clock, when I had relocked my journal, I
+got a note from Robert. I was just going to begin my dinner.
+
+I tore it open, inside was another; I did not wait to look who from, I was
+too eager to read his. I paste it in:
+
+
+                                          "CARLTON HOUSE TERRACE.
+
+   "MY DARLING,--
+
+   "I have had a long talk with Aunt Sophia, and she is everything
+    that is sweet and kind, but she fears Torquilstone will be a
+    little difficult (_I don't care_, _nothing_ shall separate us
+    now). She asks me not to go and see you again to-night as she
+    thinks it would be better for you that I should not go to the
+    hotel so late. Darling, read her note, and you will see how
+    nice she is. I shall come round to-morrow, the moment the
+    beastly stables are finished, about twelve o'clock. Oh, take
+    care of yourself! What a difference to-night and last night!
+    I was feeling horribly miserable and reckless, and to-night!
+    Well, you can guess. I am not half good enough for you,
+    darling beautiful queen, but I think I shall know how to make
+    you happy. I love you.
+
+                                     "Good-night my own.
+
+                                               "ROBERT."
+
+   "Do please send me a tiny line by my servant. I have told him
+    to wait."
+
+
+I have never had a love-letter before. What lovely things they are. I felt
+thrills of delight over bits of it. Of course I see now that I must have
+been dreadfully in love with Robert all along, only I did not know it
+quite. I fell into a kind of blissful dream, and then I roused myself up
+to read Lady Merrenden's. I sha'n't put hers in, too; it fills up too
+much, and I can't shut the clasp of my journal. It is a perfectly sweet
+little letter, just saying Robert had told her the news, and that she was
+prepared to welcome me as her dearest niece, and to do all she could for
+us. She hoped I would not think her very tiresome and old-fashioned
+suggesting Robert had better not see me again to-night, and, if it would
+not inconvenience me, she would herself come round to-morrow morning and
+discuss what was best to be done.
+
+Veronique said Lord Robert's valet was waiting outside the door, so I flew
+to my table and began to write. My hand trembled so I made a blot, and
+had to tear that sheet up; then I wrote another. Just a little word. I was
+frightened; I couldn't say loving things in a letter; I had not even
+spoken many to him--yet.
+
+"I loved your note," I began; "and I think Lady Merrenden is quite right.
+I will be here at twelve, and very pleased to see you." I wanted to say I
+loved him, and thought twelve o'clock a long way off, but of course one
+could not write such things as that, so I ended with just,
+
+   "Love from
+
+       "EVANGELINE."
+
+
+Then I read it over, and it did sound "missish" and silly. However, with
+the man waiting there in the passage, and Veronique fussing in and out of
+my bedroom, besides the waiters bringing up my dinner, I could not go
+tearing up sheets and writing others, it looked so flurried, so it was put
+into an envelope. Then, in one of the seconds I was alone, I nipped off a
+violet from a bunch on the table and pushed it in, too. I wonder if he
+will think it sentimental of me! When I had written the name, I had not an
+idea where to address it. His was written from Carlton House Terrace, but
+he was evidently not there now, as his servant had brought it. I felt so
+nervous and excited, it was too ridiculous--I am very calm as a rule. I
+called the man, and asked him where was his lordship now? I did not like
+to say I was ignorant of where he lived.
+
+"His Lordship is at Vavasour House, madam," he said, respectfully, but
+with the faintest shade of surprise that I should not know. "His lordship
+dines at home this evening with his grace."
+
+I scribbled a note to Lady Merrenden. I would be delighted to see her in
+the morning at whatever time suited her. I would not go out at all, and I
+thanked her. It was much easier to write sweet things to her than to
+Robert.
+
+When I was alone I could not eat. Veronique came in to try and persuade
+me. I looked so very pale, she said, she feared I had taken cold. She was
+in one of her "old-mother" moods, when she drops the third person
+sometimes, and calls me "_mon enfant_."
+
+"Oh, Veronique, I have not got a cold; I am only wildly happy," I said.
+
+"Mademoiselle is doubtless fiancee to Mr. Carruthers. _Oh, mon enfant
+adoree_," she cried, "_que je suis contente!_"
+
+"Gracious, no!" I exclaimed. This brought me back to Christopher with a
+start. What would he say when he heard?
+
+"No, Veronique, to some one much nicer--Lord Robert Vavasour."
+
+Veronique was frightfully interested. Mr. Carruthers she would have
+preferred, to me, she admitted, as being more solid, more "_range_,"
+"_plus a la fin de ses betises_," but, no doubt, "milor" was charming too,
+and for certain one day mademoiselle would be duchess. In the meanwhile
+what kind of coronet would mademoiselle have on her trousseau?
+
+I was obliged to explain that I should not have any, or any trousseau, for
+an indefinite time, as nothing was settled yet. This damped her a little.
+
+"_Un frere de duc, et pas de couronne!_" After seven years in England she
+was yet unable to understand these strange habitudes, she said.
+
+She insisted upon putting me to bed directly after dinner, "to be prettier
+for _milor demain_!" and then when she had tucked me up, and was turning
+out the light in the centre of the room, she looked back. "Mademoiselle is
+too beautiful like that," she said, as if it slipped from her. "_Mon Dieu!
+il ne s'embeterai pas, le monsieur!_"
+
+
+
+
+                                                              CLARIDGE'S,
+
+                                                        _Monday morning._
+
+
+I wonder how I lived before I met Robert. I wonder what use were the days.
+Oh, and I wonder, I wonder, if the duke continues to be obdurate about me,
+if I shall ever have the strength of mind to part from him so as not to
+spoil his future.
+
+Such a short time ago--not yet four weeks--since I was still at Branches,
+and wondering what made the clock go round, the great, big clock of life.
+
+Oh, now I know. It is being in love--frightfully in love, as we are. I
+must try and keep my head, though, and remember all the remarks of Lady
+Ver about things and men. Fighters all of them, and they must never feel
+quite sure. It will be dreadfully difficult to tease Robert, because he is
+so direct and simple, but I must try, I suppose. Perhaps being so very
+pretty as I am, and having all the male creatures looking at me with
+interest, will do, and be enough to keep him worried, and I won't have to
+be tiresome myself. I hope so, because I really do love him so extremely,
+I would like to let myself go, and be as sweet as I want to.
+
+I am doing all the things I thought perfectly silly to hear of before. I
+kissed his letter, and slept with it on the pillow beside me, and this
+morning woke at six, and turned on the electric light to read it again.
+The part where the "darlings" come is quite blurry, I see, in
+daylight--that is where I kissed most, I know.
+
+I seem to be numb to everything else. Whether Lady Ver is angry or not
+does not bother me. I did play fair. She could not expect me to go on
+pretending when Robert had said straight out he loved me. But I am sure
+she will be angry, though, and probably rather spiteful about it.
+
+I will write her the simple truth in a day or two, when we see how things
+go. She will guess by Robert not going to Sedgwick.
+
+
+
+
+                                                             CLARIDGE'S
+
+                                                    _Monday afternoon._
+
+
+At half-past eleven this morning Lady Merrenden came, and the room was all
+full of flowers that Robert had sent, bunches and bunches of violets and
+gardenias. She kissed me, and held me tight for a moment, and we did not
+speak. Then she said, in a voice that trembled a little:
+
+"Robert is so very dear to me--almost my own child--that I want him to be
+happy; and you, too, Evangeline--I may call you that, may not I?"
+
+I squeezed her hand.
+
+"You are the echo of my youth, when I, too, knew the wild spring-time of
+love. So, dear, I need not tell you that you may count upon my doing what
+I can for you both."
+
+Then we talked and talked.
+
+"I must admit," she said at last, "that I was prejudiced in your favor for
+your dear father's sake, but in any case my opinion of Robert's judgment
+is so high, I would have been prepared to find you charming, even without
+that. He has the rarest qualities, he is the truest, most untarnished
+soul in this world.
+
+"I don't say," she went on, "that he is not just as the other young men of
+his age and class; he is no Galahad, as no one can be with truth who is
+human and lives in the world. And I dare say kind friends will tell you
+stories of actresses and other diversions, but I who know him tell you,
+you have won the best and greatest darling in London."
+
+"Oh, I am sure of it," I said. "I don't know why he loves me so much, he
+has seen me so little; but it began from the very first minute, I think,
+with both of us. He is such a nice shape."
+
+She laughed. Then she asked me if she was right in supposing all these
+_contretemps_ we had had were the doing of Lady Ver. "You need not answer,
+dear," she said. "I know Ianthe. She is in love with Robert herself; she
+can't help it; she means no harm, but she often gets these attacks, and
+they pass off. I think she is devoted to Sir Charles, really."
+
+"Yes," I said.
+
+"It is a queer world we live in, child," she continued, "and true love and
+suitability of character are such a rare combination, but from what I can
+judge, you and Robert possess them."
+
+"Oh, how dear of you to say so!" I exclaimed.
+
+"You don't think I _must_ be bad, then, because of my coloring?"
+
+"What a ridiculous idea, you sweet child!" she laughed. "Who has told you
+that!"
+
+"Oh, Mrs. Carruthers always said so--and--and the old gentlemen, and--even
+Mr. Carruthers hinted I probably had some odd qualities. But you do think
+I shall be able to be fairly good--don't you?"
+
+She was amused, I could see, but I was serious.
+
+"I think you probably might have been a little wicked if you had married a
+man like Mr. Carruthers," she said, smiling, "but with Robert I am sure
+you will be good. He will never leave you a moment, and he will love you
+so much you won't have time for anything else."
+
+"Oh, that is what I shall like--being loved," I said.
+
+"I think all women like that," she sighed. "We could all of us be good if
+the person we love went on being demonstrative. It is the cold,
+matter-of-fact devotion that kills love, and makes one want to look
+elsewhere to find it again."
+
+Then we talked of possibilities about the duke. I told her I knew his
+_toquade_, and she, of course, was fully acquainted with mamma's history.
+
+"I must tell you, dear, I fear he will be difficult," she said. "He is a
+strangely prejudiced person, and obstinate to a degree, and he worships
+Robert, as we all do."
+
+I would not ask her if the duke had taken a dislike to me, because I
+_knew_ he had.
+
+"I asked you to meet him on Saturday on purpose," she continued. "I felt
+sure your charm would impress him, as it had done me, and as it did my
+husband, but I wonder now if it would have been better to wait. He said
+after you were gone that you were much too beautiful for the peace of any
+family, and he pitied Mr. Carruthers if he married you. I don't mean to
+hurt you, child; I am only telling you everything, so that we may consult
+how best to act."
+
+"Yes, I know," I said, and I squeezed her hand again; she does not put out
+claws like Lady Ver.
+
+"How did he know anything about Mr. Carruthers"--I asked--"or me, or
+anything?" She looked ashamed.
+
+"One can never tell how he hears things. He was intensely interested to
+meet you, and seemed to be acquainted with more of the affair than I am. I
+almost fear he must obtain his information from the servants."
+
+"Oh, does not that show the housemaid in him? Poor fellow!" I said. "He
+can't help it, then, any more than I could help crying yesterday before
+Robert in the park. Of course we would neither of us have done these
+things if it were not for the _tache_ in our backgrounds, only,
+fortunately for me, mine wasn't a housemaid, and was one generation
+farther back, so I would not be likely to have any of those tricks."
+
+She leaned back in her chair and laughed. "You quaint, quaint child,
+Evangeline," she said.
+
+Just then it was twelve o'clock, and Robert came in.
+
+Oh, talk of hearts beating! If mine is going to go on jumping like this
+every time Robert enters a room, I shall get a disease in it in less than
+a year.
+
+He looked too intensely attractive. He was not in London clothes; just
+serge things, and a guard's tie, and his face was beaming, and his eyes
+shining like blue stars.
+
+We behaved nicely--he only kissed my hand, and Lady Merrenden looked away
+at the clock even for that. She has tact.
+
+"Isn't my Evangeline a darling, Aunt Sophia?" he said. "And don't you love
+her red hair?"
+
+"It is beautiful," said Lady Merrenden.
+
+"When you leave us alone I am going to pull it all down"; and he
+whispered, "Darling, I love you," so close that his lips touched my ear,
+while he pretended he was not doing anything. I say, again, Robert has
+ways that would charm a stone image.
+
+"How was Torquilstone last night?" Lady Merrenden asked, "and did you tell
+him anything?"
+
+"Not a word," said Robert. "I wanted to wait and consult you both which
+would be best. Shall I go to him at once, or shall he be made to meet my
+Evangeline again, and let her fascinate him, as she is bound to do, and
+then tell him?"
+
+"Oh, tell him straight!" I exclaimed, remembering his proclivities about
+the servants and that Veronique knows. "Then he cannot ever say we have
+deceived him."
+
+"That is how I feel," said Robert.
+
+"You take Evangeline to lunch, Aunt Sophia, and I will go back and feed
+with him, and tell him, and then come to you after."
+
+"Yes, that will be best," she said, and it was settled that she should
+come in again and fetch me in an hour, when Robert should leave to go to
+Vavasour House. He went with her to the lift, and then he came back.
+
+No--even in this locked book I am not going to write of that hour--it was
+too divine. If I had thought just sitting in the park was heaven, I now
+know there are degrees of heaven, and that Robert is teaching me up
+towards the seventh.
+
+
+                                                    _Monday afternoon._
+                                                      (Continued.)
+
+
+I forgot to say a note came from Christopher by this morning's post--it
+made me laugh when I read it, then it went out of my head; but when Lady
+Merrenden returned for me, and we were more or less sane again--Robert and
+I--I thought of it; so apparently did he. "Did you by chance hear from
+Christopher, whether he got your note last night or no?" he said.
+
+I went and fetched it from my bedroom when I put on my hat. Robert read it
+aloud:
+
+
+                              "TRAVELLER'S CLUB
+
+                               "_Sunday night._
+
+    "'_Souvent femme varie--fol qui se fie!_'
+     Hope you found your variation worth while!
+
+                                         C. C."
+
+
+"What dam cheek!" he said, in his old way. He hasn't used any "ornaments
+to conversation" since we have been--oh, I want to say it--engaged!
+
+Then his eyes flashed. "Christopher had better be careful of himself! He
+will have to be answerable to me now."
+
+"Do be prudent, Evangeline dear," Lady Merrenden said, gayly, "or you will
+have Robert breaking the head of every man in the street who even glances
+at you. He is frantically jealous."
+
+"Yes, I know I am," said Robert, rearranging the tie on my blouse with
+that air of _sans gene_ and possession that pleases me so.
+
+I belong to him now, and if my tie isn't as he likes he has a perfect
+right to retie it, no matter who is there. That is his attitude--not the
+_least_ ceremony or stuff, everything perfectly simple and natural.
+
+It does make things agreeable. When I was, "Miss Travers" and he "Lord
+Robert," he was always respectful and unfamiliar--except that one night
+when rage made him pinch my finger. But now that I am _his_ Evangeline and
+he is _my_ Robert (thus he explained it to me in our paradise hour), I am
+his queen and his darling, but at the same time his possession and
+belonging, just the same as his watch or his coat--I adore it--and it does
+not make me the least "uppish," as one might have thought.
+
+"Come, come, children," Lady Merrenden said at last, "we shall all be
+late."
+
+So we started, dropping Robert at Vavasour House on our way. It is a
+splendid place, down one of those side streets looking on the Green Park,
+and has a small garden that side. I had never been down to the little
+square where it is before, but, of course, every one can see its splendid
+frontage from St. James's Park, though I had never realized it was
+Vavasour House.
+
+"Good luck!" whispered Lady Merrenden as Robert got out, and then we drove
+on.
+
+Several people were lunching at Carlton House Terrace: cabinet ministers,
+and a clever novelist, and the great portrait painter, besides two or
+three charming women--one as pretty and smart as Lady Ver, but the others
+more ordinary looking, only so well mannered. No real frumps like the
+Montgomeries. We had a delightful lunch, and I tried to talk nicely and do
+my best to please my dear hostess. When they had all left I think we both
+began to feel excited, and long apprehensively for the arrival of Robert.
+So we talked of the late guests.
+
+"It amuses my husband to see a number of different kinds of people," she
+said; "but we had nothing very exciting to-day, I must confess, though
+sometimes the authors and authoresses bore me, and they are often very
+disappointing--one does not any longer care to read their books after
+seeing them."
+
+I said I could quite believe that.
+
+"I do not go in for budding geniuses," she continued. "I prefer to wait
+until they have arrived, no matter their origin; then they have acquired a
+certain outside behavior on the way up, and it does not _froisse_ one so.
+Merrenden is a great judge of human nature, and variety entertains him.
+Left to myself, I fear I should be quite contented with less gifted people
+who were simply of one's own world."
+
+In all her talk one can see her thought and consideration for Lord
+Merrenden and his wishes and tastes.
+
+"I always feel it is so cruel for him, our having no children," she said.
+"The earldom becomes extinct, so I must make him as happy as I can."
+
+What a dear and just woman!
+
+At last we spoke of Robert, and she told me stories of his boyhood,
+amusing Eton scrapes, and later feats. And how brave and splendid he had
+been in the war; and how the people all adored him at Torquilstone; and of
+his popularity and influence with them. "You must make him go into
+Parliament," she said.
+
+Then Robert came into the room. Oh, his darling face spoke, there was no
+need for words. The duke, one could see, had been obdurate.
+
+"Well," said Lady Merrenden.
+
+Robert came straight over to me and took my face in his two hands.
+"Darling," he said, "before everything I want you to know I love you
+better than anything else in the world, and nothing will make any
+difference," and he kissed me deliberately before his aunt. His voice was
+so moved, and we all felt a slight lump in our throats I know; then he
+stood in front of us, but he held my hand.
+
+"Torquilstone was horrid, I can see," said Lady Merrenden. "What did he
+say, Robert? Tell us everything. Evangeline would wish it too, I am sure,
+as well as I."
+
+Robert looked very pale and stern; one can see how firm his jaw is in
+reality, and how steady his dear, blue eyes.
+
+"I told him I loved Evangeline, whom I understood he had met yesterday,
+and that I intended to marry her."
+
+"And he said?" asked Lady Merrenden, breathless.
+
+I only held tighter Robert's hand.
+
+"He swore like a trooper, he thumped his glass down on the table and
+smashed it--a disgusting exhibition of temper--I was ashamed of him. Then
+he said never, as long as he lived and could prevent it; that he had heard
+something of my infatuation, so as I am not given that way he had made
+inquiries, and found the family was most unsatisfactory. Then he had come
+here yesterday on purpose to see you--darling," turning to me, "and that
+he had judged for himself. The girl was a 'devilish beauty' (his words,
+not mine), with the naughtiest, provoking eyes, and a mouth--No, I can't
+say the rest, it makes me too mad," and Robert's eyes flashed.
+
+Lady Merrenden rose from her seat and came and took my other hand. I felt
+as if I could not stand too tall and straight.
+
+"The long and short of it is, he has absolutely refused to have anything
+to do with the matter, says I need expect nothing further from him, and we
+have parted for good and all."
+
+"Oh, Robert!" It was almost a cry from Lady Merrenden.
+
+Robert put his arms round me, and his face changed to radiance.
+
+"Well, I don't care; what does it matter? A few places and thousands in
+the dim future--the loss of them is nothing to me if I only have my
+Evangeline now."
+
+"But, Robert dearest," Lady Merrenden said, "you can't possibly live
+without what he allows you--what have you of your own? About eighteen
+hundred a year, I suppose, and you know, darling boy, you are often in
+debt. Why, he paid five thousand for you as lately as last Easter. Oh,
+what is to be done?" and she clasped her hands.
+
+I felt as if turned to stone. Was all this divine happiness going to slip
+from my grasp? Yes, it looked like it, for I could never drag Robert into
+poverty and spoil his great future.
+
+"He can't leave away Torquilstone, and those thousands of profitless
+acres," Lady Merrenden went on; "but, unfortunately, all the London
+property is at his disposition. Oh, I must go and talk to him!"
+
+"No," said Robert. "It would not be the least use, and would look as if we
+were pleading." His face had fallen to intense sadness as Lady Merrenden
+spoke of his money.
+
+"Darling," he said, in a broken voice. "No, it is true it would not be
+fair to make you a beggar. I should be a cad to ask you. We must think of
+some way of softening my brother after all."
+
+Then I spoke.
+
+"Robert," I said, "if you were only John Smith I would say I would
+willingly go and live with you in a cottage, or even in a slum; but you
+are not, and I would not for _anything in the world_ drag you down out of
+what is your position in life. That would be a poor sort of love. Oh, my
+dear," and I clasped tight his hand, "if everything fails, then we must
+part and you must forget me."
+
+He folded me in his arms, and we heard the door shut. Lady Merrenden had
+left us alone. Oh, it was anguish and divine bliss at the same time the
+next half-hour.
+
+"I will never forget you, and never in this world will I take another
+woman, I swear to God!" he said, at the end of it. "If we must part, then
+life is finished for me of all joy."
+
+"And for me, too, Robert!"
+
+We said the most passionate vows of love to each other, but I will not
+write them here; there is another locked book where I keep them--the book
+of my soul.
+
+"Would it be any good if Colonel Tom Carden went and spoke to him?" I
+asked, presently. "He was best man at papa's wedding, and knows all there
+is to be known of poor mamma; and do you think that as mamma's father was
+Lord de Brandreth--a very old barony I believe it is--oh, can it make any
+difference to the children's actual breeding, their parents not having
+been through the marriage ceremony? I--I--don't know much of that sort of
+things."
+
+"My sweet," said Robert, and through all our sorrow he smiled and kissed
+me--"my sweet, sweet Evangeline."
+
+"But does the duke know all the details of the history?" I asked, when I
+could speak; one can't when one is being kissed.
+
+"Every little bit, it seems. He says he will not discuss the matter of
+that--I must know it is quite enough, as I have always known his views;
+but if it was not sufficient, your wild, wicked beauty is. You would not
+be faithful to me for a year, he said. I could hardly keep from killing
+him when he hurled that at my head."
+
+I felt my temper rising. How frightfully unjust--how cruel! I went over
+and looked in the glass--a big mirror between the windows--drawing Robert
+with me.
+
+"Oh, tell me, tell me, what is it? Am I so very bad looking? It is a
+curse, surely, that is upon me."
+
+"Of course you are not bad looking, my darling!" exclaimed Robert.
+"You are perfectly beautiful--a slender, stately, exquisite
+tiger-lily--only--only--you don't look cold--and it is just your red hair,
+and those fascinating green eyes, and your white, lovely skin and black
+eyelashes that, that--Oh, you know, you sweetheart! You don't look like
+bread-and-butter, you are utterly desirable, and you would make any one's
+heart beat."
+
+I thought of the night at "Carmen."
+
+"Yes, I am wicked," I said; "but I never will be again--only just enough
+to make you always love me, because Lady Ver says security makes yawns.
+But even wicked people can love with a great, great love, and that can
+keep them good. Oh, if he only knew how utterly I love you, Robert, I am
+sure, sure, he would be kind to us!"
+
+"Well, how shall we tell him?"
+
+Then a thought came to me, and I felt all over a desperate thrill of
+excitement.
+
+"Will you do nothing until to-morrow?" I said. "I have an idea which I
+will tell to no one. Let us go back to Claridge's now, and do not come and
+see me again until to-morrow at twelve. Then, if this has failed we will
+say good-bye. It is a desperate chance."
+
+"And you won't tell me what it is?"
+
+"No. Please trust me; it is my life as well as yours, remember."
+
+"My queen!" he said. "Yes, I will do that, or anything else you wish, only
+_never, never_ good-bye. I am a man, after all, and have numbers of
+influential relations. I can do something else in life just be a
+Guardsman, and we shall get enough money to live quite happily on, though
+we might not be very grand people. I will never say good-bye--do you hear?
+Promise me you will never say it, either."
+
+I was silent.
+
+"Evangeline, darling!" he cried in anguish, his eyebrows right up in the
+old way, while two big tears welled up in his beautiful eyes. "My God!
+won't you answer me?"
+
+"Yes, I will," I said, and I threw all my reserve to the winds, and flung
+my arms round his neck, passionately.
+
+"I love you with my, heart and soul, and pray to God we shall never say
+good-bye."
+
+When I got back to Claridge's, for the first time in my life I felt a
+little faint. Lady Merrenden had driven me back herself, and left me with
+every assurance of her devotion and affection for us. I had said good-bye
+to Robert for the day at Carlton House Terrace.
+
+They do not yet know me, either of them, quite; or what I can and will
+do.
+
+
+
+
+                                                             CLARIDGE'S
+
+                                                        _Monday night._
+
+
+I felt to carry out my plan I must steady my mind a little, so I wrote my
+journal, and that calmed me.
+
+Of all the things I was sure of in the world, I was most sure that I loved
+Robert far too well to injure his prospects. On the other hand, to throw
+him away without a struggle was too cruel to both of us. If mamma's mother
+was nobody, all the rest of my family were fine old fighters and
+gentlemen, and I really prayed to their shades to help me now.
+
+Then I rang and ordered some iced water, and when I had thought deeply for
+a few minutes while I sipped it, I sat down to my writing-table. My hand
+did not shake, though I felt at a deadly tension. I addressed the envelope
+first, to steady myself:
+
+
+   "To
+    "His Grace
+      "The Duke of Torquilstone,
+        "Vavasour House,
+          "St. James's, S.W."
+
+
+Then I put that aside.
+
+"I am Evangeline Travers who writes," I began, without any preface;
+"and I ask if you will see me--either here in my sitting-room this
+evening, or I will come to you at Vavasour House. I understand your
+brother, Lord Robert, has told you that he loves me and wishes to marry
+me, and that you have refused your consent, partly because of the
+history of my family, but chiefly because my type displeases you. I
+believe, in days gone by, the prerogative of a great noble like you was
+to dispense justice. In my case it is still your prerogative by
+courtesy, and I ask it of you. When we have talked for a little, if you
+then hold to your opinion of me, and _convince me_ that it is for your
+brother's happiness, I swear to you on my word of honor I will never see
+him again."
+
+                                 "Believe me,
+
+                                    "Yours faithfully,
+
+                                        "EVANGELINE TRAVERS."
+
+
+I put it hastily in the envelope and fastened it up. Then I rang the bell,
+and had it sent by a messenger in a cab, who was to wait for an answer.
+Oh, I wonder if in life I shall ever have to go through another
+twenty-five minutes like those that passed before the waiter brought a
+note up to me in reply.
+
+Even if the journal won't shut I must put it in:
+
+
+                                   "VAVASOUR HOUSE, ST. JAMES'S
+
+                                              "_November 28th._
+   "DEAR MADAM,--
+
+   "I have received your letter, and request you to excuse my
+    calling upon you at your hotel this evening, as I am unwell;
+    but if you will do me the honor to come to Vavasour House on
+    receipt of this, I will discuss the matter in question with
+    you, and trust you will believe that you may rely upon my
+    _justice_.
+
+                            "I remain, madam,
+
+                                   "Yours truly,
+
+                                          "TORQUILSTONE."
+
+
+"His grace's brougham is waiting below for you, madam," the waiter said,
+and I flew to Veronique.
+
+I got her to dress me quickly. I wore the same things, exactly, as he had
+seen me in before--deep mourning they are, and extremely becoming.
+
+In about ten minutes Veronique and I were seated in the brougham and
+rolling on our way. I did not speak.
+
+I was evidently expected, for as the carriage stopped the great doors flew
+open and I could see into the dim and splendid hall.
+
+A silver-haired, stately old servant led me along through a row of
+powdered footmen, down a passage all dimly lit with heavily shaded lights.
+(Veronique was left to their mercies.) Then the old man opened a door, and
+without announcing my name, merely, "The lady, your grace," he held the
+door, and then went out and closed it softly.
+
+It was a huge room splendidly panelled with dark, carved _boiserie_ Louis
+XV., the most beautiful of its kind I had ever seen--only it was so dimly
+lit with the same shaded lamps one could hardly see into the corners.
+
+The duke was crouching in a chair and looked fearfully pale and ill, and
+had an inscrutable expression on his face. Fancy a man so old-looking, and
+crippled, being even Robert's half-brother.
+
+I came forward--he rose with difficulty, and this is the conversation we
+had.
+
+"Please don't get up," I said. "If I may sit down opposite you."
+
+"Excuse my want of politeness," he said, pointing to a chair; "but my back
+is causing me great pain to-day."
+
+He looked such a poor, miserable, soured, unhappy creature, I could not
+help being touched.
+
+"Oh, I am so sorry!" I said. "If I had known you were ill I would not have
+troubled you now."
+
+"Justice had better not wait," he replied, with a whimsical, cynical, sour
+smile. "State your case."
+
+Then he suddenly turned on an electric lamp near me, which made a blaze of
+light in my face. I did not jump, I am glad to say; I have pretty good
+nerves.
+
+"My case is this: To begin with, I love your brother better than anything
+else in the world."
+
+"Possibly--a number of women have done so," he interrupted. "Well?"
+
+"And he loves me," I continued, not noticing the interruption.
+
+"Agreed. It is a situation that happens every day among young fools. You
+have known each other about a month, I believe."
+
+"Under four weeks," I corrected.
+
+He laughed--bitterly.
+
+"It cannot be of such vital importance to you, then, in that short time."
+
+"It is of vital importance to me, and you know your brother's character;
+you will be able to judge as well as I if, or not, it is a matter of vital
+importance to him."
+
+He frowned. "Well, your case?"
+
+"First, to demand on what grounds you condemned me as a 'devilish beauty'?
+And why you assume that I should not be faithful to Robert for a year?"
+
+"I am a rather good judge of character," he said.
+
+"You cannot be, or you would see that whatever accident makes me have this
+objectionable outside, the me that lives within is an honest person who
+never breaks her word."
+
+"I can only see red hair, and green eyes, and a general look of the
+devil."
+
+"Would you wish people always to judge by appearances, then?" I said;
+"because, if so, I see before me a prejudiced, narrow-minded,
+cruel-tempered, cynical man--jealous of youth's joys. But _I_ would not be
+so unjust as to stamp you with these qualities because of that!"
+
+He looked straight at me, startled. "I may be all these things," he said.
+"You are probably right."
+
+"Then, oh, please don't be!" I went on quickly. "I want you to be kind to
+us. We--oh, we do, do so wish to be happy, and we are both so young, and
+life will be so utterly blank and worthless for all those years to the end
+if you part us now."
+
+"I did not say I would part you," he said, coldly. "I merely said I
+refused to give Robert any allowance, and I shall leave everything in my
+power away from the title. If you like to get married on those terms you
+are welcome to."
+
+Then I told him that I loved Robert far too much to like the thought of
+spoiling his future.
+
+"We came into each other's lives," I said. "We did not ask it of fate, she
+pushed us there, and I tried not to speak to him because I had promised a
+friend of mine I would not, as she said she liked him herself, and it made
+us both dreadfully unhappy; and every day we mattered more to each other
+until yesterday, when I thought he had gone away for good and I was too
+miserable for words, we met in the park, and it was no use pretending any
+longer. Oh, you _can't_ want to crush out all joy and life for us, just
+because I have red hair! It is so horribly unjust."
+
+"You beautiful siren!" he said. "You are coaxing me. How you know how to
+use your charms and your powers, and what _man_ could resist your tempting
+face!"
+
+I rose in passionate scorn.
+
+"How dare you say such things to me!" I said. "I would not stoop to coax
+you. I will not again ask you for any boon. I only wanted you to do me the
+justice of realizing you had made a mistake in my character--to do your
+brother the justice of conceding the point that he has some right to love
+whom he chooses. But keep your low thoughts to yourself--evil, cruel man!
+Robert and I have got something that is better than all your lands and
+money--a dear, great love, and I am glad--glad he will not in the future
+receive anything that is in your gift. I shall give him the gift of
+myself, and we shall do very well without you;" and I walked to the door,
+leaving him huddled in the chair.
+
+Thus ended our talk on justice.
+
+Never has my head been so up in the air. I am sure had Cleopatra been
+dragged to Rome in Augustus's triumph she would not have walked with more
+pride and contempt than I through the hall of Vavasour House.
+
+The old servant was waiting for me, and Veronique, and the brougham.
+
+"Call a hansom, if you please," I said, and stood there like a statue
+while one of the footmen had to run into St. James's Street for it.
+
+Then we drove away, and I felt my teeth chatter while my cheeks burned.
+Oh, what an end to my scheme and my dreams of, perhaps, success!
+
+But what a beast of a man! What a cruel, warped, miserable creature. I
+will not let him separate me from Robert--never, never! He is not worth
+it. I will wait for him--my darling--and if he really loves me, some day
+we can be happy, and if he does not--but, oh, I need not fear.
+
+I am still shaking with passion, and shall go to bed. I do not want any
+dinner.
+
+
+
+
+                                       Tuesday morning, _November 29th._
+
+
+Veronique would not let me go to bed, she insisted upon my eating, and
+then after dinner I sat in an old but lovely wrap of white crepe, and she
+brushed out my hair for more than an hour--there is such a tremendous lot
+of it, it takes time.
+
+I sat in front of the sitting-room fire and tried not to think. One does
+feel a wretch after a scene like that. At about half-past nine I heard
+noises in the passage of people, and with only a preliminary tap Robert
+and Lady Merrenden came into the room. I started up, and Veronique dropped
+the brush in her astonishment, and then left us alone.
+
+Both their eyes were shining and excited, and Robert looked crazy with
+joy; he seized me in his arms, and kissed me, and kissed me, while Lady
+Merrenden said, "You darling Evangeline! you plucky, clever girl! Tell us
+all about it!"
+
+"About what?" I said, as soon as I could speak.
+
+"How you managed it."
+
+"Oh, I must kiss her first, Aunt Sophia!" said Robert. "Did you ever see
+anything so divinely lovely as she looks with her hair all floating like
+this, and it is all mine, every bit of it!"
+
+"Yes, it is," I said, sadly, "and that is about all of value you will
+get."
+
+"Come and sit down," said Robert, "Evangeline, you darling--and look at
+this."
+
+Upon which he drew from his pocket a note. I saw at once it was the duke's
+writing, and I shivered with excitement. He held it before my eyes.
+
+"Dear Robert," it began. "I have seen her. I am conquered. She will make a
+magnificent duchess. Bring her to lunch to-morrow. Yours, TORQUILSTONE."
+
+I really felt so intensely moved I could not speak.
+
+"Oh, tell us, dear child, how did it happen, and what did you do, and
+where did you meet!" said Lady Merrenden.
+
+Robert held my hand.
+
+Then I tried to tell them as well as I could, and they listened
+breathlessly. "I was very rude, I fear," I ended with, "but I was so
+angry."
+
+"It is glorious," said Robert. "But the best part is that you intended to
+give me yourself with no prospect of riches. Oh, darling, that is the best
+gift of all!"
+
+"Was it disgustingly selfish of me?" I said. "But when I saw your poor
+brother so unhappy-looking, and soured, and unkind, with all his
+grandeur, I felt that to us, who know what love means, to be together was
+the thing that matters most in all the world."
+
+Lady Merrenden then said she knew some people staying here who had an
+apartment on the first floor, and she would go down and see if they were
+visible. She would wait for Robert in the hall, she said, and she kissed
+us good-night and gave us her blessing.
+
+What a dear she is! What a nice pet, to leave us alone!
+
+Robert and I passed another hour of bliss, and I think we must have got to
+the sixth heaven by now--Robert says the seventh is for the end, when we
+are married. Well, that will be soon. Oh, I am too happy to write
+coherently!
+
+I did not wake till late this morning, and Veronique came and said my
+sitting-room was again full of flowers. The darling Robert is!
+
+I wrote to Christopher and Lady Ver in bed, as I sipped my chocolate. I
+just told Lady Ver the truth, that Robert and I had met by chance and
+discovered we loved each other, so I knew she would understand, and I
+promised I would not break his heart. Then I thanked her for all her
+kindness to me, but I felt sad when I read it over; poor, dear Lady
+Ver--how I hope it won't really hurt her, and that she will forgive me!
+
+To Christopher I said I had found my "variation" worth while, and I hoped
+he would come to my wedding some day soon.
+
+Then I sent Veronique to post them both.
+
+To-day I am moving to Carlton House Terrace. What a delight that will be!
+and in a fortnight--or at best three weeks--Robert says we shall quietly
+go and get married, and Colonel Tom Carden can give me away after all.
+
+Oh, the joy of the dear, beautiful world, and this sweet, dirty,
+entrancing, fog-bound London! I love it all--even the smuts!
+
+
+
+
+                                                   CARLTON HOUSE TERRACE,
+
+                                                        _Thursday night._
+
+
+Robert came to see me at twelve, and he brought me the loveliest, splendid
+diamond and emerald ring, and I danced about like a child with delight
+over it. He has the most exquisite sentiment, Robert--every little trifle
+has some delicate meaning, and he makes me _feel_ and _feel_.
+
+Each hour we spend together we seem to discover some new bit of us which
+is just what the other wants. And he is so deliciously jealous and
+masterful and--oh, I love him--so there it is!
+
+I am learning a lot of things, and I am sure there are lots to learn
+still.
+
+At half-past one Lady Merrenden came and fetched us in the barouche, and
+off we went to Vavasour House, with what different feelings to last
+evening!
+
+The pompous servants received us in state, and we all three walked on to
+the duke's room.
+
+There he was, still huddled in his chair, but he got up--he is better
+to-day.
+
+Lady Merrenden went over and kissed him.
+
+"Dear Torquilstone," she said.
+
+"Morning, Robert," he mumbled, after he had greeted his aunt. "Introduce
+me to your fiancee."
+
+And Robert did, with great ceremony.
+
+"Now, I won't call you names any more," I said, and I laughed in his face.
+He bent down and kissed my forehead.
+
+"You are a beautiful tiger-cat," he said; "but even a year of you would be
+well worth while."
+
+Upon which Robert glared, and I laughed again, and we all went in to
+lunch.
+
+He is not so bad, the duke, after all.
+
+
+
+
+                                                   CARLTON HOUSE TERRACE,
+
+                                                         _December 21st._
+
+
+Oh, it is three weeks since I wrote, but I have been too busy and too
+happy for journals. I have been here ever since, getting my trousseau,
+and Veronique is becoming used to the fact that I can have no coronet
+on my lingerie.
+
+It is the loveliest thing in the world being engaged to Robert.
+
+He has ways! Well, even if I really were as bad as I suppose I look, I
+could never want any one else. He worships me, and lets me order him
+about, and then he orders me about, and that makes me have the loveliest
+thrills. And if any one even looks at me in the street--which of course
+they always do--he flashes blue fire at them, and I feel--oh, I feel, all
+the time!
+
+Lady Merrenden continues her sweet kindness to us, and her tact is beyond
+words, and now I often do what I used to wish to--that is, touch Robert's
+eyelashes with the tips of my fingers.
+
+It is perfectly lovely.
+
+Oh, what in the world is the good of anything else in life but being
+frantically in love as we are!
+
+It all seems, to look back upon, as if it were like having porridge for
+breakfast, and nothing else every day, before I met Robert.
+
+Perhaps it is because he is going to be very grand in the future, but
+every one has discovered I am a beauty, and intelligent. It is much nicer
+to be thought that than just to be a red-haired adventuress.
+
+Lady Katherine, even, has sent me a cairngorm brooch and a cordial letter.
+(I should now adorn her circle!)
+
+But oh, what do they all matter--what does anything matter but Robert! All
+day long I know I am learning the meaning of "to dance and to sing and to
+laugh and _to live_."
+
+The duke and I are great friends. He has ferreted out about mamma's
+mother, and it appears she was a Venetian music-mistress of the name of
+Tonquini, or something like that, who taught Lord de Brandreth's
+sisters--so perhaps Lady Ver was right after all, and far, far back in
+some other life I was the friend of a Doge.
+
+Poor, dear Lady Ver! She has taken it very well after the first spiteful
+letter, and now I don't think there is even a tear at the corner of her
+eye.
+
+Lady Merrenden says it is just the time of the year when she usually gets
+a new one, so perhaps she has now, and so that is all right.
+
+The diamond serpent she has given me has emerald eyes--and such a pointed
+tongue.
+
+"It is like you, snake-girl," she said; "so wear it at your wedding."
+
+The three angels are to be my only bridesmaids.
+
+Robert loads me with gifts, and the duke is going to let me wear all the
+Torquilstone jewels when I am married, besides the emeralds he has given
+me himself. I really love him.
+
+Christopher sent me this characteristic note with the earrings which are
+his gift, great big emeralds set with diamonds:
+
+
+   "So sorry I shall not see you on the happy day, but Paris,
+    I am fortunate enough to discover, still has joys for me.
+
+                                         "C. C.
+
+   "Wear them; they will match your eyes."
+
+
+And to-morrow is my wedding-day, and I am going away on a honeymoon with
+Robert--away into the seventh heaven. And oh, and oh, I am certain,
+_sure_, neither of us will yawn!
+
+
+                                  THE END
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Red Hair, by Elinor Glyn
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RED HAIR ***
+
+***** This file should be named 17821.txt or 17821.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/8/2/17821/
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell, Jeroen van Luin and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.