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diff --git a/17375-h/17375-h.htm b/17375-h/17375-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0d1f65b --- /dev/null +++ b/17375-h/17375-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,11602 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Works of Guy de Maupassant, Volume II (of 8), by Guy de Maupassant</title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .pagenum {position: absolute; left: 92%; font-size: smaller; text-align: right;} /* page numbers */ + .sidenote {width: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; margin-left: 1em; + float: right; clear: right; margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; background: #eeeeee; border: dashed 1px;} + + .bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + .bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + .bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + .br {border-right: solid 2px;} + .bbox {border: solid 2px;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4em;} + hr.full { width: 100%; } + pre {font-size: 75%;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Works of Guy de Maupassant, Volume II (of +8), by Guy de Maupassant</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Works of Guy de Maupassant, Volume II (of 8)</p> +<p> Monsieur Parent -- The Father -- A Vagabond -- Useless Beauty -- Fly -- The Mad Woman -- That Pig of a Morin -- The Wooden Shoes -- A Normandy Joke -- A Cock Crowed -- Julot's Opinion -- Mademoiselle -- The Mountebanks -- The Sequel to a Divorce -- The Man with the Dogs -- The Clown -- Babette -- Sympathy -- The Debt -- An Artist -- Mademoiselle Fifi -- The Story of a Farm Girl -- Mamma Stirling -- Lilie Lala -- Madame Tellier's Establishment -- The Bandmaster's Sister -- False Alarm -- Wife and Mistress -- Mad -- An Unfortunate Likeness -- The New Sensation</p> +<p>Author: Guy de Maupassant</p> +<p>Release Date: December 22, 2005 [eBook #17375]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WORKS OF GUY DE MAUPASSANT, VOLUME II (OF 8)***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3>E-text prepared by Juliet Sutherland, Mary Meehan,<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + (https://www.pgdp.net/)</h3> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h1>The Works of Guy de Maupassant</h1> + +<h2>VOLUME II</h2> + +<h3>MONSIEUR PARENT AND OTHER STORIES</h3> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h4>COPYRIGHT, 1909, BY<br /> +BIGELOW, SMITH & CO.</h4> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<p> +<a href="#MONSIEUR_PARENT">MONSIEUR PARENT</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_FATHER">THE FATHER</a><br /> +<a href="#A_VAGABOND">A VAGABOND</a><br /> +<a href="#USELESS_BEAUTY">USELESS BEAUTY</a><br /> +<a href="#FLY">FLY</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_MAD_WOMAN">THE MAD WOMAN</a><br /> +<a href="#THAT_PIG_OF_A_MORIN">THAT PIG OF A MORIN</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_WOODEN_SHOES">THE WOODEN SHOES</a><br /> +<a href="#A_NORMANDY_JOKE">A NORMANDY JOKE</a><br /> +<a href="#A_COCK_CROWED">A COCK CROWED</a><br /> +<a href="#JULOTS_OPINION">JULOT'S OPINION</a><br /> +<a href="#MADEMOISELLE">MADEMOISELLE</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_MOUNTEBANKS">THE MOUNTEBANKS</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_SEQUEL_TO_A_DIVORCE">THE SEQUEL TO A DIVORCE</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_MAN_WITH_THE_DOGS">THE MAN WITH THE DOGS</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_CLOWN">THE CLOWN</a><br /> +<a href="#BABETTE">BABETTE</a><br /> +<a href="#SYMPATHY">SYMPATHY</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_DEBT">THE DEBT</a><br /> +<a href="#AN_ARTIST">AN ARTIST</a><br /> +<a href="#MADEMOISELLE_FIFI">MADEMOISELLE FIFI</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_STORY_OF_A_FARM-GIRL">THE STORY OF A FARM-GIRL</a><br /> +<a href="#MAMMA_STIRLING">MAMMA STIRLING</a><br /> +<a href="#LILIE_LALA">LILIE LALA</a><br /> +<a href="#MADAME_TELLIERS_ESTABLISHMENT">MADAME TELLIER'S ESTABLISHMENT</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_BANDMASTERS_SISTER">THE BANDMASTER'S SISTER</a><br /> +<a href="#FALSE_ALARM">FALSE ALARM</a><br /> +<a href="#WIFE_AND_MISTRESS">WIFE AND MISTRESS</a><br /> +<a href="#MAD10">MAD</a><br /> +<a href="#AN_UNFORTUNATE_LIKENESS">AN UNFORTUNATE LIKENESS</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_NEW_SENSATION">THE NEW SENSATION</a><br /> +</p> +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MONSIEUR_PARENT" id="MONSIEUR_PARENT"></a>MONSIEUR PARENT</h2> + + +<h3>I</h3> + +<p>Little George was making hills of sand in one of the walks; he took it +up with both his hands, made it into a pyramid, and then put a chestnut +leaf on the top, and his father, sitting on an iron chair was looking at +him with concentrated and affectionate attention, and saw nobody but him +in that small public garden which was full of people. All along the +circular road other children were occupied in the same manner, or else +were indulging in childish games, while nursemaids were walking two and +two, with their bright cap ribbons floating behind them, and carrying +something wrapped up in lace, on their arms, and little girls in short +petticoats and bare legs were talking seriously together, during the +intervals of trundling their hoops.</p> + +<p>The sun was just disappearing behind the roofs of the <i>Rue +Saint-Lazare</i>, but still shed its rays obliquely on that little +over-dressed crowd. The chestnut trees were lighted up with its yellow +rays, and the three fountains before the lofty porch of the church, had +the appearance of liquid silver.</p> + +<p>Monsieur Parent looked at his son sitting in the dusk, he followed his +slightest movements with affection, but accidentally looking up at the +church clock, he saw that he was five minutes late, so he got up, took +the child by the arm and shook his dress which was covered with sand, +wiped his hands and led him in the direction of the <i>Rue Blanche</i>, and +he walked quickly, so as not to get in after his wife, but as the child +could not keep up with him, he took him up and carried him, though it +made him pant when he had to walk up the steep street. He was a man of +forty, turning gray already, rather stout, and had married, a few years +previously, a young woman whom he dearly loved, but who now treated him +with the severity and authority of an all-powerful despot. She found +fault with him continually for everything that he did, or did not do, +reproached him bitterly for his slightest acts, his habits, his simple +pleasures, his tastes, his movements and walk, and for having a round +stomach and a placid voice.</p> + +<p>He still loved her, however, but above all he loved the child which he +had had by her, and George, who was now three, had become the greatest +joy, and had preoccupation of his heart. He himself had a modest private +fortune, and lived without doing anything on his twenty thousand francs +a year, and his wife, who had been quite portionless, was constantly +angry at her husband's inactivity.</p> + +<p>At last he reached his house, put down the child, wiped his forehead and +walked upstairs, and when he got to the second floor, he rang. An old +servant who had brought him up, one of those mistress-servants who are +the tyrants of families, opened the door to him, and he asked her +anxiously: "Has Madame come in yet?" The servant shrugged her shoulders: +"When have you ever known Madame to come home at half past six, +Monsieur?" And he replied with some embarrassment: "Very well; all the +better; it will give me time to change my things, for I am very hot."</p> + +<p>The servant looked at him with angry and contemptuous pity, and +grumbled: "Oh! I can see that well enough, you are covered with +perspiration, Monsieur. I suppose you walked quickly and carried the +child, and only to have to wait until half past seven, perhaps, for +Madame. I have made up my mind not to have it ready at the time. Shall +get it for eight o'clock, and if you have to wait, I cannot help it; +roast meat ought not to be burnt!" Monsieur Parent, however, pretended +not to hear, but only said: "All right! all right. You must wash +George's hands, for he has been making sand pits. I will go and change +my clothes; tell the maid to give the child a good washing."</p> + +<p>And he went into his own room, and as soon as he got in he locked the +door, so as to be alone, quite alone. He was so used now to being abused +and badly treated, that he never thought himself safe, except when he +was locked in. He no longer ventured even to think, reflect and reason +with himself, unless he had guarded himself against her looks and +insinuations, by locking himself in. Having thrown himself into a chair, +in order to rest for a few minutes before he put on clean linen, he +remembered that Julie was beginning to be a fresh danger in the house. +She hated his wife, that was quite plain, but she hated his friend Paul +Limousin still more, who had continued to be the familiar and intimate +friend of the house, after having been the inseparable companion of his +bachelor days, which is very rare. It was Limousin who acted as a buffer +between his wife and himself, and who defended him ardently, and even +severely, against her undeserved reproaches, against crying scenes, and +against all the daily miseries of his existence.</p> + +<p>But now for six months, Julie had constantly been saying things against +her mistress, and repeated twenty times a day: "If I were you, Monsieur, +I should not allow myself to be led by the nose like that. Well, well... +There, ... everyone according to his nature." And one day, she had even +ventured to be insolent to Henriette, who, however, merely said to her +husband, at night: "You know, the next time she speaks to me like that, +I shall turn her out of doors." But she, who feared nothing; seemed to +be afraid of the old servant, and Parent attributed her mildness to her +consideration for the old domestic who had brought him up, and who had +closed his mother's eyes. Now, however, it was finished, matters could +not go on like that much longer, and he was frightened at the idea of +what was going to happen. What could he do? To get rid of Julie seemed +to him to be such a formidable thing to do, that he hardly ventured to +think of it, but it was just as impossible to uphold her against his +wife, and before another month now, the situation would become +unbearable between the two. He remained sitting there, with his arms +hanging down, vaguely trying to discover some means to set matters +straight, but without success, and he said to himself: "It is only lucky +that I have George ... without him I should be very miserable."</p> + +<p>Then he thought he would consult Limousin, but the recollection of the +hatred that existed between his friend and the servant made him fear +lest the former should advise him to turn her away, and again he was +lost in doubts and unhappy uncertainty. Just then the clock struck +seven, and he started up. Seven o'clock, and he had not even changed his +clothes yet! Then nervous and breathless, he undressed, put on a clean +shirt, and hastily finished his toilet, as if he had been expected in +the next room for some event of extreme importance, went into the +drawing-room, happy at having nothing to fear. He glanced at the +newspaper, went and looked out of the window, and then sat down on the +sofa again, when the door opened, and the boy came in, washed, brushed +and smiling, and Parent took him up in his arms and kissed him +passionately; then he tossed him into the air, and held him up to the +ceiling, but soon sat down again, as he was tired with all his efforts, +and taking George onto his knee, he made him ride a cock-horse, and the +child laughed and clapped his hands, and shouted with pleasure, as his +father did also, for he laughed until his big stomach shook, for it +amused him almost more than it did the child.</p> + +<p>He loved him with all the heart of a weak, resigned, ill-used man. He +loved with mad bursts of affection, with caresses and with all the +bashful tenderness which was hidden in him, and which had never found an +outlet, even at the early period of his married life, for his wife had +always shown herself cold and reserved. Just then, however, Julie came +to the door, with a pale face and glistening eyes, and she said in a +voice which trembled with exasperation: "It is half past seven, +Monsieur." Parent gave an uneasy and resigned look at the clock and +replied: "Yes, it certainly is half past seven." "Well, my dinner is +quite ready, now."</p> + +<p>Seeing the storm which was coming, he tried to turn it aside. "But did +you not tell me when I came in that it would not be ready before eight?" +"Eight! what are you thinking about? You surely do not mean to let the +child dine at eight o'clock? It would ruin his stomach. Just suppose +that he only had his mother to look after him! She cares a great deal +about her child. Oh! yes, we will speak about her; she is a mother. What +a pity it is that there should be any mothers like her!"</p> + +<p>Parent thought it was time to cut short a threatened scene, and so he +said: "Julie, I will not allow you to speak like that of your mistress. +You understand me, do you not? Do not forget it for the future."</p> + +<p>The old servant, who was nearly choked with surprise, turned round and +went out, slamming the door so violently after her, that the lusters on +the chandelier rattled, and for some seconds it sounded as if a number +of little invisible bells were ringing in the drawing room.</p> + +<p>George who was surprised at first, began to clap his hands merrily, and +blowing out his cheeks, he gave a great <i>boum</i> with all the strength of +his lungs, to imitate the noise of the door banging. Then his father +began to tell him stories, but his mind was so preoccupied that he every +moment lost the thread of his story, and the child, who could not +understand him, opened his eyes wide, in astonishment.</p> + +<p>Parent never took his eyes off the clock; he thought he could see the +hands move, and he would have liked to have stopped them, until his +wife's return. He was not vexed with her for being late, but he was +frightened, frightened of her and of Julie, frightened at the thought of +all that might happen. Ten minutes more, would suffice to bring about an +irreparable catastrophe, explanations and acts of violence that he did +not dare to picture to himself. The mere idea of a quarrel, of their +loud voices, of insults flying through the air like bullets, the two +women standing face to face, looking at each other and flinging abuse at +one another, made his heart beat, and his tongue as parched as if he had +been walking in the sun, and made him as limp as a rag, so limp that he +no longer had the strength to lift up the child, and to dance him on his +knee.</p> + +<p>Eight o'clock struck, the door opened once more and Julie came in again. +She had lost her look of exasperation, but now she put on an air of cold +and determined resolution, which was still more formidable. "Monsieur," +she said, "I served your mother until the day of her death, and I have +attended to you from your birth until now, and I think it may be said +that I am devoted to the family." She waited for a reply, and Parent +stammered: "Why yes, certainly, my good Julie." She continued: "You know +quite well that I have never done anything for the sake of money, but +always for your sake; that I have never deceived you nor lied to you, +that you have never had to find fault with me..." "Certainly, my good +Julie." "Very well, then, Monsieur, it cannot go on any longer like +this. I have said nothing, and left you in your ignorance, out of +respect and liking for you, but it is too much, and everyone in the +neighborhood is laughing at you. Everybody knows about it, and so I must +tell you also, although I do not like to repeat it. The reason why +Madame comes in at any time she chooses is, that she is doing abominable +things."</p> + +<p>He seemed stupefied, and not to understand, and could only stammer out: +"Hold your tongue, you know I have forbidden you ..." But she +interrupted him with irresistible resolution. "No, Monsieur, I must tell +you everything, now. For a long time Madame has been doing wrong with +Monsieur Limousin, I have seen them kiss scores of times behind the +doors. Ah! you may be sure that if Monsieur Limousin had been rich, +Madame would never have married Monsieur Parent. If you remember how the +marriage was brought about, you would understand the matter from +beginning to end." Parent had risen, and stammered out, deadly pale: +"Hold your tongue hold your tongue or ..." She went on, however: "No, I +mean to tell you everything. She married you from interest, and she +deceived you from the very first day. It was all settled between them +beforehand. You need only reflect for a few moments to understand it, +and then, as she was not satisfied with having married you, as she did +not love you, she has made your life miserable, so miserable that it has +almost broken my heart when I have seen it ..."</p> + +<p>He walked up and down the room with his hands clenched, repeating: "Hold +your tongue ... hold your tongue ..." for he could find nothing else to +say; the old servant, however, would not yield; she seemed resolved on +everything, but George, who had been at first astonished, and then +frightened at those angry voices, began to utter shrill screams, and +remained behind his father, and he roared with his face puckered up and +his mouth open.</p> + +<p>His son's screams exasperated Parent and filled him with rage and +courage. He rushed at Julie with both arms raised, ready to strike +her, and exclaiming: "Ah! you wretch! you will send the child out of +his senses." He was already touching her, when she said: "Monsieur, you +may beat me if you like, me who reared you, but that will not prevent +your wife from deceiving you, or alter the fact that your child is not +yours ..." He stopped suddenly, and let his arms fall, and he remained +standing opposite to her, so overwhelmed that he could understand +nothing more, and she added: "You need only look at the child to know +who is its father! He is the very image of Monsieur Limousin, you need +only look at his eyes and forehead, why, a blind man could not be +mistaken in him...."</p> + +<p>But he had taken her by the shoulders, and was now shaking her with +all his might, while he said: "Viper ... viper! Go out the room, +viper! ... go out, or I shall kill you! ... Go out! Go out! ..."</p> + +<p>And with a desperate effort he threw her into the next room. She fell +onto the table which was laid for dinner, breaking the glasses, and +then, getting up, she put it between her master and herself, and while +he was pursuing her, in order to take hold of her again, she flung +terrible words at him: "You need only go out this evening after dinner, +and come in again immediately ... and you will see! ... you will see +whether I have been lying! Just try it ... and you will see." She had +reached the kitchen door and escaped, but he ran after her, up the back +stairs to her bedroom into which she had locked herself, and knocking +at the door, he said! "You will leave my house this very instant." "You +may be certain of that, Monsieur," was her reply. "In an hour's time I +shall not be here any longer."</p> + +<p>He then went slowly downstairs again, holding on to the banister, so as +not to fall, and went back to the drawing-room, where little George was +sitting on the floor, crying; he fell into a chair, and looked at the +child with dull eyes. He understood nothing, be knew nothing more, he +felt dazed, stupefied, mad, as if he had just fallen on his head, and he +scarcely even remembered the dreadful things the servant had told him. +Then, by degrees his reason grew clearer like muddy water, and the +abominable revelation began to work in his heart.</p> + +<p>Julie had spoken so clearly, with so much force, assurance and +sincerity, that he did not doubt her good faith, but he persisted in not +believing her penetration. She might have been deceived, blinded by her +devotion to him, carried away by unconscious hatred for Henriette. +However, in measure as he tried to reassure and to convince himself, a +thousand small facts recurred to his recollection, his wife's words, +Limousin's looks, a number of unobserved, almost unseen trifles, her +going out late, their simultaneous absence, and even some almost +insignificant, but strange gestures, which he could not understand, now +assumed an extreme importance for him and established a connivance +between them. Everything that had happened since his engagement, surged +through his over-excited brain, in his misery, and he obstinately went +through his five years of married life, trying to recollect every detail +month by month, day by day, and every disquieting circumstance that he +remembered stung him to the quick like a wasp's sting.</p> + +<p>He was not thinking of George any more, who was quiet now and on the +carpet, but seeing that no notice was being taken of him the boy began +to cry. Then his father ran up to him, took him into his arms, and +covered him with kisses. His child remained to him at any rate! What did +the rest matter? He held him in his arms and pressed his lips onto his +light hair, and relieved and composed, he whispered: "George, ... my +little George, ... my dear little George ..." But he suddenly remembered +what Julie had said! ... Yes! she had said that he was Limousin's +child... Oh! It could not be possible, surely! He could not believe it, +could not doubt, even for a moment, that he was his own child. It was +one of those low scandals which spring from servants' brains! And he +repeated: "George ... my dear little George." The youngster was quiet +again, now that his father was fondling him.</p> + +<p>Parent felt the warmth of the little chest penetrate to his through +their clothes, and it filled him with love, courage and happiness; that +gentle heat soothed him, fortified him and saved him. Then he put the +small, curly head away from him a little and looked at it +affectionately, still repeating: "George! ... Oh! my little George! ..." +But suddenly he thought, "Suppose he were to resemble Limousin, ... +after all!"</p> + +<p>There was something strange working within him, a fierce feeling, a +poignant and violent sensation of cold in his whole body, in all his +limbs, as if his bones had suddenly been turned to ice. Oh! if he were +to resemble Limousin and he continued to look at George, who was +laughing now. He looked at him with haggard, troubled eyes, and he tried +to discover whether there was any likeness in his forehead, in his nose, +mouth or cheeks. His thoughts wandered like they do when a person is +going mad, and his child's face changed in his eyes, and assumed a +strange look, and unlikely resemblances.</p> + +<p>Julie had said: "A blind man could not be mistaken in him." There must, +therefore, be something striking, an undeniable likeness! But what? The +forehead? Yes, perhaps, Limousin's forehead, however, was narrower. The +mouth then? But Limousin wore a beard, and how could any one verify the +likeness between the fat chin of the child, and the hairy chin of that +man?</p> + +<p>Parent thought: "I cannot see anything now, I am too much upset; +I could not recognize anything at present ... I must wait; I must +look at him well to-morrow morning, when I am getting up." And +immediately afterwards he said to himself: "But if he is like me, +I shall be saved! saved!" And he crossed the drawing-room in two strides, +to examine the child's face by the side of his own in the looking-glass. +He had George on his arm, so that their faces might be close together, +and he spoke out loud almost without knowing it. "Yes ... we have the +same nose ... the same nose ... perhaps, but that is not sure ... and +the same look ... But no, he has blue eyes ... Then good heavens! I shall +go mad ... I cannot see anything more ... I am going mad!..."</p> + +<p>He went away from the glass to the other end of the drawing-room, and +putting the child into an easy chair, he fell into another and began to +cry; and he sobbed so violently that George, who was frightened at +hearing him, immediately began to scream.</p> + +<p>The hall bell rang, and Parent gave a bound as if a bullet had gone +through him. "There she is," he said ... "What shall I do? ..." And he +ran and locked himself up in his room, so at any rate to have time to +bathe his eyes. But in a few moments another ring at the bell made him +jump again, and he remembered that Julie had left, without the housemaid +knowing it, and so nobody would go to open the door. What was he to do? +He went himself, and suddenly he felt brave, resolute, ready for +dissimulation and the struggle. The terrible blow had matured him in a +few moments, and then he wished to know the truth, he wished it with the +rage of a timid man, and with the tenacity of an easy-going man, who has +been exasperated.</p> + +<p>But nevertheless he trembled! Was it fear? Yes . . . Perhaps he was +still frightened of her? Does one know how much excited cowardice there +often is in boldness? He went to the door with furtive steps, and +stopped to listen; his heart beat furiously, and he heard nothing but +the noise of that dull throbbing in his chest, and George's shrill +voice, who was still crying in the drawing room. Suddenly, however, the +noise of the bell over his head startled him like an explosion; then he +seized the lock, turned the key and opening the door, saw his wife and +Limousin standing before him on the stairs.</p> + +<p>With an air of astonishment, which also betrayed a little irritation +she said: "So you open the door now? Where is Julie?" His throat +felt tight, and his breathing was labored and he tried to reply, +without being able to utter a word, so she continued: "Are you +dumb? I asked you where Julie is?" And then he managed to say: +"She ... she ... has ... gone ..." Whereupon his wife began to get +angry. "What do you mean by <i>gone</i>? Where has she gone? Why?" By +degrees he regained his coolness, and he felt immense hatred for that +insolent woman who was standing before him, rise up in him: "Yes, +she has gone altogether ... I sent her away ..." "You have sent away +Julie?... Why you must be mad." "Yes, I have sent her away because she +was insolent ... and because, because she was ill-using the child." +"Julie?" "Yes ... Julie." "What was she insolent about?" "About you." +"About me?" "Yes, because the dinner was burnt, and you did not come in." +"And she said ...?" "She said ... offensive things about you ... which +I ought not ... which I could not listen to ..." "What did she say?" +"It is no good repeating them." "I want to hear them." "She said it +was unfortunate for a man like me to be married to a woman like you, +unpunctual, careless, disorderly, a bad mother and a bad wife ..."</p> + +<p>The young woman had gone into the anteroom followed by Limousin, who did +not say a word at this unexpected position of things. She shut the door +quickly, threw her cloak onto a chair, and going straight up to her +husband, she stammered out: "You say? ... you say? ... that I am ...?"</p> + +<p>He was very pale and calm and replied: "I say nothing, my dear. I am +simply repeating what Julie said to me, as you wanted to know what it +was, and I wish you to remark that I turned her off just on account of +what she said."</p> + +<p>She trembled with a violent longing to tear out his beard and scratch +his face. In his voice and manner she felt that he was asserting his +position as master, although she had nothing to say by way of reply, and +she tried to assume the offensive, by saying something unpleasant: "I +suppose you have had dinner?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"No, I waited for you." She shrugged her shoulders impatiently. "It is +very stupid of you to wait after half past seven," she said. "You might +have guessed that I was detained, that I had a good many things to do, +visits and shopping."</p> + +<p>And then suddenly, she felt that she wanted to explain how she had spent +her time, and she told him in abrupt, haughty words, that having to buy +some furniture in a shop a long distance off, very far off, in the <i>Rue +de Rennes</i>, she had met Limousin at past seven o'clock on the <i>Boulevard +Saint-Germain</i>, and that then she had gone with him to have something to +eat in a restaurant, as she did not like to go to one by herself, +although she was faint with hunger. That was how she had dined, with +Limousin, if it could be called dining, for they had only had some soup +and half a fowl, as they were in a great hurry to get back, and Parent +replied simply: "Well, you were quite right. I am not finding fault with +you."</p> + +<p>Then Limousin, who had not spoken till then, and who had been half +hidden behind Henriette, came forward, and put out his hand, saying: +"Are you very well?" Parent took his hand, and shaking it gently, +replied: "Yes, I am very well." But the young woman had felt a reproach +in her husband's last words. "Finding fault! ... Why do you speak of +finding fault? ... One might think that you meant to imply something." +"Not at all," he replied, by way of excuse. "I simply meant, that I was +not at all anxious although you were late, and that I did not find fault +with you for it." She, however, took the high hand, and tried to find a +pretext for a quarrel. "Although I was late? ... One might really think +that it was one o'clock in the morning, and that I spent my nights away +from home." "Certainly not, my dear. I said <i>late</i>, because I could find +no other word. You said you should be back at half past six, and you +returned at half past eight. That was surely being late! I understand it +perfectly well ... I am not at all surprised ... even. But ... but ... I +can hardly use any other word." "But you pronounce them, as if I had +been out all night." "Oh! no, ... oh! no ..."</p> + +<p>She saw that he would yield on every point, and she was going into her +own room, when at last she noticed that George was screaming, and then +she asked, with some feeling: "Whatever is the matter with the child?" +"I told you, that Julie had been rather unkind to him?" "What has the +wretch been doing to him?" "Oh! Nothing much. She gave him a push, and +he fell down."</p> + +<p>She wanted to see her child, and ran into the dining-room but stopped +short at the sight of the table covered with spilt wine, with broken +decanters and glasses and overturned salt-cellars. "Who did all that +mischief?" she asked. "It was Julie who ..." But she interrupted him +furiously: "That is too much, really! Julie speaks of me as if I were a +shameless woman, beats my child, breaks my plates and dishes, turns my +house upside down, and it appears that you think it all quite natural." +"Certainly not, as I have got rid of her!" "Really ... you have got rid +of her! ... But you ought to have given her in charge. In such cases, +one ought to call in the Commissary of Police!" "But ... my dear ... I +really could not ... there was no reason ... It would have been very +difficult." She shrugged her shoulders disdainfully.</p> + +<p>"There, you will never be anything but a poor, wretched fellow, a man +without a will, without any firmness or energy. Ah! she must have said +some nice things to you, your Julie, to make you turn her off like that. +I should like to have been here for a minute, only for a minute." Then +she opened the drawing-room door and ran to George, took him into her +arms and kissed him, and said: "Georgie, what is it, my darling, my +pretty one, my treasure?" But as she was fondling him he did not speak, +and she repeated: "What is the matter with you?" And he having seen, +with his child's eyes, that something was wrong, replied: "Julie beat +papa."</p> + +<p>Henriette turned towards her husband, in stupefaction at first, but then +an irresistible desire to laugh shone in her eyes, passed like a slight +shiver over her delicate cheeks, made her upper lip curl and her +nostrils dilate, and at last a clear, bright burst of mirth came from +her lips, a torrent of gayety which was lively and sonorous as the song +of a bird. She repeated, with little mischievous exclamations which +issued from between her white teeth, and hurt Parent as much as a bite +would have done: "Ha!... ha!... ha!... ha! she beat ... she beat ... my +husband ... ha!... ha! ha!... How funny!... Do you hear, Limousin? Julie +has beaten ... has beaten ... my ... husband ... Oh! dear oh! dear ... +how very funny!"</p> + +<p>But Parent protested: "No ... no ... it is not true, it is not true ... +It was I, on the contrary, who threw her into the dining room so +violently that she knocked the table over. The child did not see +clearly, I beat her!" "Here, my darling." Henriette said to her boy "did +Julie beat papa?" "Yes, it was Julie," he replied. But then, suddenly +turning to another idea, she said, "But the child has had no dinner? +You have had nothing to eat, my pet?" "No, mamma." Then she again turned +furiously onto her husband. "Why, you must be mad, utterly mad! It is +half past eight, and George has had no dinner!"</p> + +<p>He excused himself as best he could, for he had nearly lost his wits by +the overwhelming scene and the explanation, and felt crushed by this +ruin of his life. "But, my dear, we were waiting for you, as I did not +wish to dine without you. As you come home late every day, I expected +you every moment."</p> + +<p>She threw her bonnet, which she had kept on till then, into an easy +chair, and in an angry voice she said: "It is really intolerable to have +to do with people who can understand nothing, who can divine nothing, +and do nothing by themselves. So, I suppose, if I were to come in at +twelve o'clock at night, the child would have had nothing to eat? Just +as if you could not have understood that, as it was after half past +seven, I was prevented from coming home, that I had met with some +hindrance!..."</p> + +<p>Parent trembled, for he felt that his anger was getting the upper hand, +but Limousin interposed and turning towards the young woman, he said: +"My dear friend, you are altogether unjust. Parent could not guess that +you would come here so late, as you never do so, and then, how would you +expect him to get over the difficulty all by himself, after having sent +away Julie?"</p> + +<p>But Henriette was very angry and replied "Well, at any rate, he must +get over the difficulty himself, for I will not help him. Let him settle +it". And she went into her own room, quite forgetting that her child had +not had anything to eat.</p> + +<p>Then Limousin immediately set to work to help his friend. He picked up +the broken glass which strewed the table and took them out. He replaced +the plates, knives and forks and put the child into his high chair. +While Parent went to look for the lady's maid, to wait at table; who +came in great astonishment. As she had heard nothing in George's room, +where she had been working. She soon however, brought in the soup, a +burnt leg of mutton, and mashed potatoes.</p> + +<p>Parent sat by the side of the child, very much upset and distressed at +all that had happened. He gave the boy his dinner, and endeavored to eat +something him self. But he could only swallow with an effort, as if his +throat had been paralyzed. By degrees, he was seized by an insane desire +of looking at Limousin who was sitting opposite to him and making bread +pellets, to see whether George was like him, but he did not venture to +raise his eyes for some time; at last, however, he made up his mind to +do so, and gave a quick, sharp look at the face which he knew so well, +although he almost fancied that he had never looked at it carefully, as +it looked so different to what he had fancied. From time to time he +looked at him, trying to recognize a likeness in the smallest lines of +his face, in the slightest features, and then he looked at his son, +under the pretext of feeding him.</p> + +<p>Two words were sounding in his ears "His father! his father! his +father!" They buzzed in his temples at every beat of his heart. Yes, +that man, that tranquil man who was sitting on the other side of the +table was, perhaps, the father of his son, of George, of his little +George. Parent left off eating; he could not manage any more; a terrible +pain, one of those attacks of pain which make men scream, roll on the +ground and bite the furniture, was tearing at his entrails, and he felt +inclined to take a knife and plunge it into his stomach. It would ease +him and save him, and all would be over.</p> + +<p>For could he live now? Could he get up in the morning, join in the +meals, go out into the streets, go to bed at night and sleep with that +idea dominating him: "Limousin is Little George's father!" No, he would +not have the strength to walk a step, to dress himself, to think of +anything, to speak to anybody! Every day, every hour, every moment, he +should be trying to know, to guess, to discover this terrible secret. +And the little boy, his dear little boy, he could not look at him any +more without enduring the terrible pains of that doubt, of being +tortured by it to the very marrow of his bones. He would be obliged to +live there, to remain in that house, with that child whom he should love +and hate! Yes, he should certainly end by hating him. What torture! Oh! +If he were sure that Limousin was his father, he might, perhaps, grow +calm, become accustomed to his misfortune and his pain, but not to know, +was intolerable.</p> + +<p>Not to know, to be always trying to find out, to be continually +suffering, to kiss the child every moment, another man's child, to take +him out for walks, to carry him, to caress him, to love him, and to +think continually: "Perhaps he is not my child? Would it not be better +not to see him, to abandon him,—to lose him in the streets, or to go +away, far away, himself so far away that he should never hear anything +more spoken about, never!"</p> + +<p>He started when he heard the door open. His wife came. "I am hungry," +she said; "are not you also, Limousin?" He hesitated a little, and then +said: "Yes, I am, upon my word." And she had the leg of mutton brought +in again, while Parent asked himself: "Have they had dinner? Or are they +late because they have had a lovers' meeting?"</p> + +<p>They both ate with a very good appetite. Henriette was very calm, but +laughed and joked, and her husband watched her furtively. She had on a +pink dressing gown trimmed with white lace, and her fair head, her white +neck and her plump hands stood out from that coquettish and perfumed +dress, like from a sea shell, edged with foam. What had she been doing +all day with that man? Parent could see them kissing, and stammering out +words of ardent love! How was it that he could not manage to know +everything, to guess the whole truth, by looking at them, sitting side +by side, opposite to him?</p> + +<p>What fun they must be making of him, if he had been their dupe since the +first day? Was it possible to make a fool of a man, of a worthy man, +because his father had left him a little money? Why could one not see +these things in people's souls, how was it that nothing revealed to +upright hearts the deceits of infamous hearts, how was it that voices +had the same sound for adoring as for lying, why was a false, deceptive +look the same as a sincere one? And he watched them waiting to catch a +gesture, a word, an intonation; then suddenly he thought: "I will +surprise them this evening," and he said: "My dear, as I have dismissed +Julie, I will see about getting another this very day, and I shall go +out immediately to procure one by to-morrow morning, so I may not be in +until late."</p> + +<p>"Very well," she replied; "go, I shall not stir from here. Limousin will +keep me company. We will wait for you." And then, turning to the maid, +she said: "You had better put George to bed, and then you can clear away +and go up to your own room."</p> + +<p>Parent had got up; he was unsteady on his legs, dazed and giddy, and +saying: "I shall see you again later on," he went out, holding onto the +wall, for the floor seemed to roll, like a ship. George had been carried +out by his nurse, whilst Henriette and Limousin went into the +drawing-room, and as soon as the door was shut, he said: "You must be +mad, surely, to torment your husband as you do?" She immediately turned +on him: "Ah! Do you know that I think the habit you have got into +lately, of looking upon Parent as a martyr, is very unpleasant?"</p> + +<p>Limousin threw himself into an easy-chair, and crossed his legs: "I am +not setting him up as a martyr in the least, but I think that, situated +as we are, it is ridiculous to defy this man as you do, from morning +till night." She took a cigarette from the mantel-piece, lighted it, and +replied: "But I do not defy him, quite the contrary; only, he irritates +me by his stupidity ... and I treat him as he deserves." Limousin +continued impatiently: "What you are doing is very foolish! However, all +women are alike. Look here: he is an excellent, kind fellow, stupidly +confiding and good, who never interferes with us, who does not suspect +us for a moment, who leaves us quite free and undisturbed, whenever we +like, and you do all you can to put him into a rage and to spoil our +life."</p> + +<p>She turned to him: "I say, you worry me. You are a coward, like all +other men are! You are frightened of that poor creature!" He immediately +jumped up and said, furiously: "I should like to know what he does, and +why you are so set against him? Does he make you unhappy? Does he beat +you? Does he deceive you and go with another woman? No, it is really too +bad to make him suffer, merely because he is too kind, and to hate him +merely because you are unfaithful to him." She went up to Limousin, and +looking him full in the face, she said: "And you reproach me with +deceiving him? You? You? What a filthy heart you must have?"</p> + +<p>He felt rather ashamed, and tried to defend himself: "I am not +reproaching you, my dear; I am only asking you to treat your husband +gently, because we both of us require him to trust us. I think that you +ought to see that."</p> + +<p>They were close together; he, tall, dark, with long whiskers, and the +rather vulgar manners of a good-looking man, who is very well satisfied +with himself; she, small, fair and pink, a little Parisian, half +shopkeeper, half one of those of easy virtue, born behind a shop, +brought up at its door to entice customers by her looks, and married, +accidentally, in consequence to a simple, unsophisticated man, who saw +her outside the door every morning when he went out, and every evening +when he came home.</p> + +<p>"But do you not understand, you great booby," she said, "that I hate him +just because he married me, because he bought me; in fact, because +everything that he says and does, everything that he thinks, acts on my +nerves? He exasperates me every moment by his stupidity, which you call +his kindness, by his dullness, which you call his confidence, and then, +above all, because he is my husband, instead of you! I feel him between +us, although he does not interfere with us much. And then?... and +then?... No, it is, after all, too idiotic of him not to guess anything! +I wish he would at any rate be a little jealous. There are moments when +I feel inclined to say to him: 'Do you not see, you stupid creature, +that Paul is my lover?'"</p> + +<p>Limousin began to laugh: "Meanwhile, it would be a good thing if you +were to keep quiet, and not disturb our life." "Oh! I shall not disturb +it, you may be sure! There is nothing to fear, with such a fool. No; but +it is quite incomprehensible that you cannot understand how hateful he +is to me, how he irritates me. You always seem to like him, and you +shake hands with him cordially. Men are very surprising at times."</p> + +<p>"One must know how to dissimulate, my dear." "It is no question of +dissimulation, but of feeling. One might think that, when you men +deceive another, you liked him all the more on that account, while we +women hate the man from the moment that we have betrayed him." "I do not +see why one should hate an excellent fellow, because one has his wife." +"You do not see it?... You do not see it?... You all of you are wanting +in that fineness of feeling! However, that is one of those things which +one feels, and which one cannot express. And then, moreover, one ought +not.... No, you would not understand; it is quite useless. You men have +no delicacy of feeling."</p> + +<p>And smiling, with the gentle contempt of a debauched woman, she put both +her hands onto his shoulders and held up her lips to him, and he stooped +down and clasped her closely in his arms, and their lips met. And as +they stood in front of the chimney glass, another couple exactly like +them, embraced behind the clock.</p> + +<p>They heard nothing, neither the noise of the key, nor the creaking of +the door, but suddenly Henriette, with a loud cry, pushed Limousin away +with both her arms, and they saw Parent, who was looking at them, livid +with rage, without his shoes on, and his hat over his forehead. He +looked at them, one after the other, with a quick glance of his eyes +without moving his head. He appeared mad, and then, without saying a +word, he threw himself on Limousin; he seized him as if he were going to +strangle him, and flung him into the opposite corner of the room so +violently that the other lost his balance, and beating the air with his +hand, cracked against the wall with his head.</p> + +<p>But when Henriette saw that her husband was going to murder her lover, +she threw herself onto Parent, seized him by the neck and digging her +ten delicate and rosy fingers into his neck, she squeezed him so +tightly, with all the vigor of a desperate woman, that the blood spurted +out under her nails, and she bit his shoulder, as if she wished to tear +it with her teeth. Parent, half-strangled and choked, loosened his hold +on Limousin, in order to shake off his wife, who was hanging onto his +neck; and putting his arms around her waist, he flung her also to the +other end of the drawing-room.</p> + +<p>Then, as his passion was short-lived, like that of most good-tempered +men, and his strength was soon exhausted, he remained standing between +the two, panting, worn out, not knowing what to do next. His brutal fury +had expended itself in that effort, like the froth of a bottle of +champagne, and his unwonted energy ended in a want of breath. As soon as +he could speak, however he said: "Go away ... both of you ... +immediately ... go away!..."</p> + +<p>Limousin remained motionless in his corner, against the wall, too +startled to understand anything as yet, too frightened to move a finger, +while Henriette, with her hands resting on a small, round table, her +head bent forward, with her hair hanging down, the bodice of her dress +unfastened and bosom bare, waited like a wild animal which is about to +spring, and Parent went on, in a stronger voice: "Go away +immediately.... Get out of the house!"</p> + +<p>His wife, however, seeing that he had got over his first exasperation, +grew bolder, drew herself up, took two steps towards him, and grown +almost insolent already, she said: "Have you lost your head?... What is +the matter with you?... What is the meaning of this unjustifiable +violence?" But he turned towards her, and raising his fist to strike +her, he stammered out: "Oh!... oh!... this is too much!... too much!... +I ... heard everything! Everything!... do you understand?... +Everything!... you wretch ... you wretch ... you are two wretches!... +Get out of the house!... both of you!... Immediately ... or I shall +kill you!... Leave the house!..."</p> + +<p>She saw that it was all over, and that he knew everything, that she +could not prove her innocence, and that she must comply, but all her +impudence had returned to her, and her hatred for the man, which was +exasperated now, drove her to audacity, made her feel the need of +bravadoes, and of defying him, and so she said in a clear voice: "Come, +Limousin, as he is going to turn me out of doors, I will go to your +lodgings with you."</p> + +<p>But Limousin did not move, and Parent, in a fresh access of rage, cried +out: "Go, will you! go, you wretches!... or else!... or else!..." and he +seized a chair and whirled it over his head.</p> + +<p>Then Henriette walked quickly across the room, took her lover by the +arm, dragged him from the wall to which he appeared fixed, and dragged +him towards the door, saying: "Do come, my friend ... you see that the +man is mad.... Do come!"</p> + +<p>As she went out, she turned round to her husband, trying to think of +something that she could do, something that she could invent to wound +him to the heart as she left the house, and an idea struck her, one of +those venomous, deadly ideas in which all a woman's perfidy shows +itself, and she said resolutely: "I am going to take my child with me."</p> + +<p>Parent was stupefied and stammered: "Your ... your ... child? You dare +to talk of your child?... You venture ... you venture to ask for your +child ... after ... after ... Oh! oh! that is too much!... Go, you +horrid wretch!... Go!..." She went up to him again, almost smiling, +almost avenged already, and defying him, standing close to him, and face +to face, she said: "I want my child, and you have no right to keep him, +because he is not yours ... do you understand?... he is not yours ... he +is Limousin's." And Parent cried out in bewilderment: "You lie ... you +lie you wretch!"</p> + +<p>But she continued: "You fool! Everybody knows it, except you. I tell +you, this is his father. You need only look at him, to see it...."</p> + +<p>Parent staggered back from her, and then he suddenly turned round, took +a candle and rushed into the next room; almost immediately, however, he +returned, carrying little George, wrapped up in his bed clothes, and the +child, who had been suddenly awakened, was crying with fright. Parent +threw him into his wife's arms, and then, without saying anything more, +he pushed her roughly out, towards the stairs, where Limousin was +waiting, from motives of prudence.</p> + +<p>Then he shut the door again, double-locked it, and bolted it, and he had +scarcely got into the drawing-room, when he fell onto the floor at full +length.</p> + + +<h3>II</h3> + +<p>Parent lived alone, quite alone. During the five weeks that followed +their separation, the feeling of surprise at his new life, prevented him +from thinking much. He had resumed his bachelor life, his habits of +lounging about, and he took his meals at a restaurant, as he had done +formerly. As he had wished to avoid any scandal, he made his wife an +allowance, which was settled by their lawyers. By degrees, however, the +thoughts of the child began to haunt him. Often, when he was at home +alone at night, he suddenly thought he heard George calling out <i>papa</i>, +and his heart used to begin to beat, and he got up quickly and opened +the door to see whether, by chance, the child might have returned, like +dogs or pigeons do. Why should a child have less instinct than an +animal?</p> + +<p>After finding that he was mistaken, he went and sat down in his armchair +again and thought of the boy, and he thought of him for hours, and whole +days. It was not only a moral, but still more a physical obsession, a +nervous longing to kiss him, to hold and fondle him, to take him onto +his knees and dance him. He felt the child's little arms round his neck, +his little mouth pressing a kiss on his beard, his soft hair tickling +his cheeks, and the remembrance of all those childish ways, made him +suffer like the desire for some beloved woman, who has run away, and +then twenty or a hundred times a day he asked himself the question, +whether he was or was not George's father, and at night, especially, he +indulged in interminable speculations on the point, and almost before he +was in bed, he every night recommenced the same series of despairing +arguments.</p> + +<p>After his wife's departure, he had at first not felt the slightest +doubt; certainly the child was Limousin's, but by degrees he began to +waver. Henriette's words could not be of any value. She had merely +braved him, and tried to drive him to desperation, and calmly weighing +the <i>pros</i> and <i>cons</i>, there seemed to be every chance that she had +lied, though perhaps only Limousin could tell the truth. But how was he +to find it out, how could he question him or persuade him to confess the +real facts?</p> + +<p>Sometimes Parent would get up in the middle of the night, fully +determined to go and see Limousin and to beg him, to offer him anything +he wanted, to put an end to this intolerable misery. Then he went back +to bed in despair, reflecting that her lover would also lie, no doubt! +He would be even sure to lie, in order to prevent him from taking away +the child, if he were really his father. What could he do, then? +Absolutely nothing!</p> + +<p>And he was sorry that he had thus suddenly brought about the crisis, +that he had not taken time for reflection, that he had not waited and +dissimulated for a month or two, so as to find out for himself. He ought +to have pretended to suspect nothing, and have allowed them to betray +themselves at their leisure. It would have been enough for him, to see +the other kiss the child, to guess and to understand. A friend does not +kiss a child as a father does. He should have watched them behind the +doors. Why had he not thought of that? If Limousin, when left alone with +George, had not at once taken him up, clasped him in his arms and kissed +him passionately; if he had looked on indifferently while he was +playing, without taking any notice of him, no doubt or hesitation could +have been possible; in that case he would not have been the father, he +would not have thought that he was, would not have felt that he was. +Thus Parent would have kept the child, while he got rid of the mother, +and he would have been happy, perfectly happy.</p> + +<p>He tossed about in bed, hot and unhappy, trying to recollect Limousin's +ways with the child. But he could not remember anything suspicious, not +a gesture, not a look, neither word nor caress. And the child's mother +took very little notice of him, and if she had had him by her lover, she +would, no doubt, have loved him more.</p> + +<p>They had, therefore, separated him from his son, from vengeance, from +cruelty, to punish him for having surprised them, and he made up his +mind to go the next morning and obtain the magistrate's assistance to +gain possession of George, but almost as soon as he had formed that +resolution, he felt assured of the contrary. From the moment that +Limousin had been Henriette's lover, her adored lover, she would +certainly have given herself up to him, from the very first, with that +ardor of self-abandonment which makes women conceive. The cold reserve +which she had always shown in her intimate relations with him, Parent, +was surely also an obstacle to her having been fecundated by his +embrace.</p> + +<p>In that case he would be claiming, he would take with him, constantly +keep and look after, the child of another man. He would not be able to +look at him, kiss him, hear him say "Papa" without being struck and +tortured by the thought, "he is not my child." He was going to condemn +himself to that torture, and that wretched life every moment! No, it +would be better to live alone, to grow old alone, and to die alone.</p> + +<p>And every day and every night, these dreadful doubts and sufferings, +which nothing could calm or end, recommenced. He especially dreaded the +darkness of the evening, the melancholy feeling of the twilight. Then a +flood of sorrow invaded his heart, a torrent of despair, which seemed to +overwhelm him and drive him mad. He was as frightened of his own +thoughts as men are of criminals, and he fled before them as one does +from wild beasts. Above all things he feared his empty, dark, horrible +dwelling, and the deserted streets, in which, here and there, a gas lamp +flickers, where the isolated foot passenger whom one hears in the +distance seems to be a night-prowler, and makes one walk faster or +slower, according to whether he is coming towards you or following you.</p> + +<p>And in spite of himself, and by instinct, Parent went in the direction +of the broad, well-lighted, populous streets. The light and the crowd +attracted him, occupied his mind and distracted his thoughts, and when +he was tired of walking aimlessly about amongst the moving crowd, when +he saw the foot passengers becoming more scarce, and the pavements less +crowded, the fear of solitude and silence drove him into some large +<i>café</i> full of drinkers and of light. He went there like flies go to a +candle, and he used to sit down at one of the little round tables, and +ask for a <i>bock</i><a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>, which he used to drink slowly, feeling uneasy every +time that a customer got up to go. He would have liked to take him by +the arm, hold him back and beg him to stay a little longer, so much did +he dread the time when the waiter would come up to him and say angrily: +"Come, Monsieur, it is closing time!"</p> + +<p>For every evening he stopped last. He saw them carry in the tables, turn +out the gas jets one by one, except his and that at the counter. He +looked unhappily at the cashier counting the money and locking it up in +the drawer, and then he went, being usually pushed out by the waiters, +who murmured: "Another one who has too much! One might think he had no +place to sleep in."</p> + +<p>As soon as he was alone in the dark street, he began to think of George +again, and to rack his brains in trying to discover whether or not he +was this child's father.</p> + +<p>He thus became in the habit of going to the beer houses, where the +continual elbowing of the drinkers brings you in contact with a familiar +and silent public, where the heavy clouds of tobacco smoke lulls +disquietude, while the heavy beer dulls the mind and calms the heart. He +almost lived there. He was scarcely up, before he went there to find +people to occupy his looks and his thoughts, and soon, as he felt too +idle to move, he took his meals there. About twelve o'clock he used to +rap on the marble table, and the waiter quickly brought a plate, a +glass, a table napkin, and his lunch when he had ordered it. When he had +done, he slowly drank his cup of black coffee, with his eyes fixed on +the decanter of brandy, which would soon procure him an hour or two of +forgetfulness. First of all he dipped his lips into the cognac, as if to +get the flavor of it with the tip of his tongue. Then he threw his head +back and poured it into his mouth, drop by drop, and turned the strong +liquor over on his palate, his gums and the mucous membrane of his +cheeks, and then he swallowed it slowly, and felt it going down his +throat, and into his stomach.</p> + +<p>After every meal he thus during more than an hour, sipped three or four +small glasses of brandy, which stupefied him by degrees, and then his +head dropped onto his chest, he shut his eyes and went to sleep: then, +having drunk it, he raised himself on the seat covered with red velvet, +pulled his trousers up, and his waistcoat down, so as to cover the linen +which appeared between the two, drew down his shirt sleeves and took up +the newspapers again, which he had already read in the morning, and read +them all through again, from beginning to end, and between four and five +o'clock he went for a walk on the boulevards, to get a little fresh air, +as he used to say, and then came back to the seat which had been +reserved for him, and asked for his absinthe. He used to talk to the +regular customers, whose acquaintance he had made. They discussed the +news of the day, and political events, and that carried him on till +dinner-time, and he spent the evening like he had the afternoon, until +it was time to close. That was a terrible moment for him, when he was +obliged to go out into the dark, into the empty room full of dreadful +recollections, of horrible thoughts and of mental agony. He no longer +saw any of his old friends, none of his relations, nobody who might +remind him of his past life. But as his apartments were a hell to him, +he took a room in a large hotel, a good room on the ground floor, so as +to see the passers-by. He was no longer alone in that great building, he +felt people swarming round him, he heard voices in the adjoining rooms, +and when his former sufferings tormented him too much at the sight of +his bed which was turned back, and of his solitary fire-place, he went +out into the wide passages and walked up and down them like a sentinel, +before all the closed doors, and looked sadly at the shoes standing in +couples outside each, women's little boots by the side of men's thick +ones, and he thought that no doubt all these people were happy, and were +sleeping sweetly side by side or in each other's arms, in their warm +bed.</p> + +<p>Five years passed thus; five miserable years with no other events +except from time to time a passing love affair which lasted a couple of +hours at the cost of forty francs. But one day when he was taking his +usual walk between the <i>Madeleine</i> and the <i>Rue Drouot</i>, he suddenly saw +a lady, whose bearing struck him. A tall gentleman and a child were with +her, and all three were walking in front of him. He asked himself where +he had seen them before, when suddenly he recognized a movement of her +hand: it was his wife, his wife with Limousin and his child, his little +George.</p> + +<p>His heart beat as if it would suffocate him, but he did not stop, for he +wished to see them and he followed them. They looked like a family of +the better middle class. Henriette was leaning on Paul's arm and +speaking to him in a low voice and looking at him sideways occasionally. +Parent saw her side face, and recognized its graceful outlines, the +movements of her lips, her smile and her caressing looks, but the child +chiefly took up his attention. How tall and strong he was! Parent could +not see his face, but only his long, fair curls. That tall boy with bare +legs, who was walking by his mother's side like a little man, was +George.</p> + +<p>He saw them suddenly, all three, as they stopped in front of a shop. +Limousin had grown very gray, had aged, and was thinner; his wife, on +the contrary, was as young looking as ever, and had grown stouter; +George he would not have recognized, he was so different to what he had +been formerly.</p> + +<p>They went on again, and Parent followed them, then walked on quickly, +passed them and then turned round, so as to meet them face to face. As +he passed the child he felt a mad longing to take him into his arms and +run off with him, and he knocked against him as if it were +accidentally. The boy turned round and looked at the clumsy man angrily, +and Parent went off hastily, struck and hurt by the look. He went off +like a thief, seized by a horrible fear lest he should have been seen +and recognized by his wife and her lover, and he went to his <i>café</i> +without stopping, and fell breathless into his chair, and that evening +he drank three absinthes.</p> + +<p>For four months he felt the pain of that meeting in his heart. Every +night he saw the three again, happy and tranquil, father, mother and +child walking on the boulevard before going in to dinner, and that new +vision effaced the old one. It was another matter, another hallucination +now, and also a fresh pain. Little George, his little George, the child +he had so much loved and so often kissed formerly, disappeared in the +far distance, and he saw a new one, like a brother of the first, a +little boy with bare legs, who did not know him! He suffered terribly at +that thought. The child's love was dead; there was no bond between them; +the child would not have held out his arms when he saw him. He had even +looked at him angrily.</p> + +<p>Then, by degrees he grew calmer, his mental torture diminished, the +image that had appeared to his eyes and which haunted his nights became +more indistinct and less frequent. He began once more to live nearly +like everybody else, like all those idle people who drink beer off +marble topped tables and wear out the seats of their trousers on the +threadbare velvet of the couches.</p> + +<p>He grew old amidst the smoke from the pipes, lost his hair under the gas +lights, looked upon his weekly bath, on his fortnightly visit to the +barber's to have his hair cut, and on the purchase of a new coat or hat, +as an event. When he got to his <i>café</i> in a new hat covering he used to +look at himself in the glass for a long time before sitting down, and +took it off and put it on again several times following, and at last +asked his friend, the lady at the bar, who was watching him with +interest, whether she thought it suited him.</p> + +<p>Two or three times a year he went to the theater, and in the summer he +sometimes spent his evenings at one of the open air concerts in the +<i>Champs-Elysées</i>. He brought back from them some airs which ran in his +head for several weeks, and which he even hummed, beating time with his +foot, while he was drinking his beer, and so the years followed each +other, slow, monotonous and short, because they were quite uneventful.</p> + +<p>He did not feel them glide past him. He went on towards death without +fear or agitation, sitting at a table in a <i>café</i>, and only the great +glass against which he rested his head, which was every day becoming +balder, reflected the ravages of time which flies and devours men, poor +men.</p> + +<p>He only very rarely now thought of the terrible drama which had wrecked +his life, for twenty years had passed since that terrible evening, but +the life he had led since then had worn him out, and the landlord of his +café would often say to him: "You ought to pull yourself together a +little, Monsieur Parent; you should get some fresh air and go into the +country; I assure you that you have changed very much within the last +few months." And when his customer had gone out, he used to say to the +barmaid: "That poor Monsieur Parent is booked for another world; it is +no good never to go out of Paris. Advise him to go out of town for a day +occasionally; he has confidence in you. It is nice weather, and will do +him good." And she, full of pity and good will for such a regular +customer, said to Parent every day: "Come, Monsieur, make up your mind +to get a little fresh air; it is so charming in the country when the +weather is fine. Oh! If I could, I would spend my life there."</p> + +<p>And she told him her dreams, the simple and poetical dreams of all the +poor girls who are shut up from one year's end to the other in a shop +and who see the noisy life of the streets go while they think of the +calm and pleasant life in the country, of life under the trees, under +the bright sun shining on the meadows, of deep woods and clear rivers, +of cows lying in the grass, and of all the different flowers, blue, red, +yellow, purple, lilac, pink and white, which are so pretty, so fresh, so +sweet, all the wild flowers which one picks as one walks, and makes into +large nosegays.</p> + +<p>She liked to speak to him frequently of her continual, unrealized and +unrealizable longing, and he, an old man without hope, was fond of +listening to her, and used to go and sit near the counter to talk to +Mademoiselle Zoé and to discuss the country with her. Then, by degrees +he was seized by a vague desire to go just once and see whether it was +really so pleasant there, as she said, outside the walls of the great +city, and so one morning he said to her: "Do you know where one can get +a good lunch in the neighborhood of Paris?" "Go to the Terrace at +Saint-Germain; it is delightful there!"</p> + +<p>He had been there formerly, just when he had got engaged, and so he made +up his mind to go there again, and he chose a Sunday without any special +reason, but merely because people generally do go out on Sundays, even +when they have nothing to do all the week, and so one Sunday morning he +went to Saint-Germain. It was at the beginning of July, on a very bright +and hot day. Sitting by the door of the railway-carriage, he watched the +trees and the strangely built little houses in the outskirts of Paris +fly past. He felt low-spirited, and vexed at having yielded to that new +longing, and at having broken through his usual habits. The view, which +was continually changing, and always the same, wearied him. He was +thirsty; he would have liked to get out at every station and sit down in +the <i>café</i> which he saw outside and drink a <i>bock</i> or two, and then take +the first train back to Paris. And then, the journey seemed very long to +him. He used to remain sitting for whole days, as long as he had the +same motionless objects before his eyes, but he found it very trying and +fatiguing to remain sitting while he was being whirled along, and to see +the whole country fly by, while he himself was motionless.</p> + +<p>However, he found the Seine interesting, every time he crossed it. Under +the bridge at Chatou he saw some skiffs going at great pace under the +vigorous strokes of the bare-armed oarsmen, and he thought: "There are +some fellows who are certainly enjoying themselves!" And then the train +entered the tunnel just before you get to the station at Saint-Germain, +and soon stopped at the arrival platform, where Parent got out, and +walked slowly, for he already felt tired, towards the <i>Terrace</i>, with +his hands behind his back, and when he got to the iron balustrade, he +stopped to look at the distant horizon. The vast plain spread out before +him like the sea, green, and studded with large villages, almost as +populous as towns. White roads crossed it, and it was well wooded in +places; the ponds at Vesinet glistened like plates of silver, and the +distant ridges of Sannois and Argenteuil were covered with light, bluish +mist, so that they could scarcely be distinguished. The sun bathed the +whole landscape in its full, warm light, and the Seine, which twined +like an endless serpent through the plain, flowed round the villages and +along the slopes, and Parent inhaled the warm breeze which seemed to +make his heart young again, to enliven his spirits and to vivify his +blood, and said to himself: "It is very nice here."</p> + +<p>Then he went on a few steps, and stopped again to look about him, and +the utter misery of his existence seemed to be brought out into full +relief, by the intense light which inundated the country. He saw his +twenty years of <i>café</i>-life, dull, monotonous, heart-breaking. He might +have traveled like others did, have gone amongst foreigners, to unknown +countries beyond the sea, have interested himself somewhat in everything +which other men are passionately devoted to, in arts and sciences, he +might have enjoyed life in a thousand forms, that mysterious life which +is either charming or painful, constantly changing, always inexplicable +and strange. Now, however, it was too late. He would go on drinking +<i>bock</i> after <i>bock</i> until he died, without any family, without friends, +without hope, without any curiosity about anything, and he was seized +with a feeling of misery and a wish to run away, to hide himself in +Paris, in his <i>café</i> and his befuddlement! All the thoughts, all the +dreams, all the desires which are dormant in the sloth of stagnating +hearts, had reawakened, being brought to life by those rays of sunlight +on the plain.</p> + +<p>He felt that if he were to remain there any longer, he should lose his +head, and so he made haste to get to the <i>Pavillon Henri IV</i> for lunch, +to try and forget his troubles under the influence of wine and alcohol, +and at any rate to have someone to speak to.</p> + +<p>He took a small table in one of the arbors, from which one can see all +the surrounding country, ordered his lunch and asked to be served at +once. Then some more people arrived and sat down at tables near him and +he felt more comfortable; he was no longer alone. Three persons were +lunching near him, and he had looked at them two or three times without +seeing them clearly, as one looks at total strangers, but suddenly a +woman's voice sent a shiver through him, which seemed to penetrate to +his very marrow. "George," it had said, "will you carve the chicken?" +And another replied: "Yes, Mamma."</p> + +<p>Parent looked up, and he understood, he guessed immediately who those +people were! He should certainly not have known them again. His wife had +grown quite white and very stout, an old, serious, respectable lady, and +she held her head forwards as she ate, for fear of spotting her dress, +although she had a table napkin tucked under her chin. George had become +a man; he had a slight beard, that unequal and almost colorless beard +which becurls the cheeks of youths. He wore a high hat, a white +waistcoat and a single eyeglass, because it looked dandified, no doubt. +Parent looked at him in astonishment! Was that George, his son? No, he +did not know that young man; there could be nothing in common between +them. Limousin had his back to him, and was eating, with his shoulders +rather bent.</p> + +<p>Well, all three of them seemed happy and satisfied; they came and dined +in the country, at well-known restaurants. They had had a calm and +pleasant existence, a family existence in a warm and comfortable house, +filled with all those trifles which make life agreeable, with affection, +with all those tender words which people exchange continually when they +love each other. They had lived thus, thanks to him, Parent, on his +money, after having deceived him, robbed him, ruined him! They had +condemned him, the innocent, the simple-minded, the jovial man to all +the miseries of solitude, to that abominable life which he had led +between the pavement and the counter, every moral torture and every +physical misery! They had made him a useless being, who was lost and +wretched amongst other people, a poor old man without any pleasures, or +anything to look forward to, and who hoped for nothing from anyone. For +him, the world was empty, because he loved nothing in the world. He +might go among other nations or go about the streets, go into all the +houses in Paris, open every room, but he would not find the beloved +face, the face of wife or child, that he was in search of, and which +smiles when it sees you, behind any door. And that idea worked upon him +more than any other, the idea of a door which one opens, to see and to +embrace somebody behind it.</p> + +<p>And that was the fault of those three wretches! the fault of that +worthless woman, of that infamous friend and of that tall, light-haired +lad who put on insolent airs. Now, he felt as angry with the child as he +did with the other two! Was he not Limousin's son? Would Limousin have +kept him and loved him, otherwise would not Limousin very quickly have +got rid of the mother and of the child if he had not felt sure that it +was his, certainly his? Does anybody bring up other people's children? +And now they were there, quite close to him, those three who had made +him suffer so much.</p> + +<p>Parent looked at them, irritated and excited at the recollection of all +his sufferings and of his despair, and was especially exasperated at +their placid and satisfied looks. He felt inclined to kill them, to +throw his syphon of Seltzer water at them, to split open Limousin's +head, which he every moment bent over his plate and raised it up again +immediately. And they continued to live like that, without cares or +anxiety of any kind. No! no! That was really too much, after all! He +would avenge himself, he would have his revenge now, on the spot, as he +had them under his hand. But how? He tried to think of some means, he +pictured such dreadful things as one reads of in the newspapers +occasionally, but could not hit on anything practical. And he went on +drinking to excite himself, to give himself courage not to allow such an +occasion to escape him, as he should certainly not meet with it again.</p> + +<p>Suddenly an idea struck him, a terrible idea, and he left off drinking +to mature it. A smile rose to his lips, and he murmured: "I have got +them, I have got them. We will see; we will see." A waiter asked him: +"What would you like now, Monsieur?" "Nothing. Coffee and cognac. The +best." And he looked at them, as he sipped his brandy. There were too +many people in the restaurant for what he wanted to do, so he would wait +and follow them, for they would be sure to walk on the terrace or in the +forest. When they had got a little distance off, he would join them, +and then he would have his revenge, yes, he would have his revenge! It +was certainly not too soon, after twenty-three years of suffering. Ah! +They little guessed what was to happen to them.</p> + +<p>They finished their luncheon slowly, and they talked in perfect +security. Parent could not hear what they were saying, but he saw their +calm movements, and his wife's face, especially, exasperated him. She +had assumed a haughty air, the air of a stout, devout woman, of an +irreproachably devout woman, sheathed in principles, iron-clad in +virtue. Then they paid the bill and got up, and then he saw Limousin. He +might have been taken for a retired diplomatist, for he looked a man of +great importance with his soft, white whiskers, the tips of which fell +onto the facings of his coat.</p> + +<p>They went out. George was smoking a cigar and had his hat on one side, +and Parent followed them. First of all they went up and down the +terrace, and calmly admired the landscape, like people who have well +satisfied their hunger, and then they went into the forest, and Parent +rubbed his hands and followed them at a distance, hiding himself, so as +not to excite their suspicion too soon. They walked slowly, enjoying the +fresh green, and the warm air. Henriette was holding Limousin's arm and +walked upright at his side, like a wife who is sure, and proud of +herself. George was cutting off the leaves with his stick, and +occasionally jumped over the ditches by the road side, like a fiery +young horse ready to gallop off through the trees.</p> + +<p>Parent came up to them by degrees, panting rather from excitement and +fatigue, for he never walked now. He soon came up to them, but he was +seized by fear, an inexplicable fear, and he passed them, so as to turn +round and meet them face to face. He walked on, his heart beating, for +he knew that they were just behind him now, and he said to himself: +"Come, now is the time. Courage! courage! Now is the moment!"</p> + +<p>He turned round. They were all three sitting on the grass, at the foot +of a huge tree, and they were still talking, and he made up his mind, +and came back rapidly, and then stopping in front of them in the middle +of the road, he said abruptly, in a voice broken by emotion: "It is I! +Here I am! I suppose you did not expect me?" They all three looked at +him carefully, for they thought that he was mad, and he continued: "One +might think that you did not know me again. Just look at me! I am +Parent, Henri Parent. You did not expect me, eh? You thought it was all +over, and that you would never see me again. Ah! But here I am once +more, you see, and now we will have an explanation."</p> + +<p>Henriette was terrified and hid her face in her hands, murmuring: "Oh! +Good Heavens!" And seeing this stranger who seemed to be threatening his +mother, George sprang up, ready to seize him by the collar, while +Limousin, who was thunderstruck, looked at this specter in horror, who, +after panting for a few moments, continued: "So now we will have an +explanation; the proper moment for it has come! Ah! you deceived me, you +condemned me to the life of a convict, and you thought that I should +never catch you!"</p> + +<p>But the young man took him by the shoulders and pushed him back: "Are +you mad?" he asked. "What do you want? Go on your way immediately, or I +shall give you a thrashing!" But Parent replied: "What do I want? I want +to tell you who these people are." George, however, was in a rage and +shook him; was even going to strike him, but the other said: "Just let +me go. I am your father ... There, look whether they recognize me now, +the wretches!" And the alarmed young man, removed his hands, and turned +to his mother, while Parent, as soon as he was released, went towards +her.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "tell him who I am, you! Tell him that my name is Henri +Parent, that I am his father because his name is George Parent, because +you are my wife, because you are all three living on my money, on the +allowance of ten thousand francs which I have made you, since I drove +you out of my house. Will you tell him also why I drove you out? Because +I surprised you with this beggar, this wretch, your lover! Tell him what +I was, an honorable man, whom you married for my money, and whom you +deceived from the very first day. Tell him who you are, and who I +am ..."</p> + +<p>He stammered and panted for breath, in his rage, and the woman exclaimed +in a heartrending voice: "Paul, Paul, stop him; make him be quiet; do +not let him say this before my son!" Limousin had also got up, and he +said in a quite low voice: "Hold your tongue! Hold your tongue! Do +understand what you are doing!" But Parent continued furiously: "I quite +know what I am doing, and that is not all. There is one thing that I +will know, something that has tormented me for twenty years." And then +turning to George, who was leaning against a tree in consternation, he +said: "Listen to me. When she left my house, she thought it was not +enough to have deceived me, but she also wanted to drive me to despair. +You were my only consolation, and she took you with her, swearing that +I was not your father, but that he was your father! Was she lying? I do +not know, and I have been asking myself the question for the last twenty +years."</p> + +<p>He went close up to her, tragic and terrible, and pulling away her hands +with which she had covered her face, he continued: "Well, I call upon +you now to tell me which of us two is the father of this young man; he +or I, your husband or your lover. Come! Come! tell us." Limousin rushed +at him, but Parent pushed him back, and sneering in his fury, he said: +"Ah! you are brave now! You are braver than you were that day when you +ran downstairs because I was going to half murder you. Very well! If she +will not reply, tell me yourself. You ought to know as well as she. Tell +me, are you this young fellow's father? Come! Come! Tell me!"</p> + +<p>Then he turned to his wife again: "If you will not tell me, at any rate +tell your son. He is a man, now, and he has the right to know who is his +father. I do not know, and I never did know, never, never! I cannot tell +you, my boy." He seemed to be losing his senses, his voice grew shrill +and he worked his arms about as if he had an epileptic attack. "Come!... +Give me an answer.... She does not know.... I will make a bet that she +does not know ... No ... she does not know, by Jove!... She used to go +to bed with both of us! Ha! ha! ha!... nobody knows ... nobody.... How +can any one know such things?... You will not know, either, my boy, you +will not know any more than I do.... never.... Look here.... Ask her ... +you will find that she does not know.... I do not know either.... You +can choose ... yes, you can choose ... him or me.... Choose.... Good +evening.... It is all over.... If she makes up her mind to tell you, +come and let me know, will you? I am living at the <i>Hôtel des +Continents</i>.... I should be glad to know.... Good evening.... I hope you +will enjoy yourselves very much...."</p> + +<p>And he went away gesticulating, and talking to himself under the tall +trees, into the empty, cool air, which was full of the smell of the sap. +He did not turn round to look at them, but went straight on, walking +under the stimulus of his rage, under a storm of passion, with that one +fixed idea in his mind, and presently he found himself outside the +station. A train was about to start and he got in. During the journey, +his anger calmed down, he regained his senses and returned to Paris, +astonished at his own boldness, and feeling as aching and knocked up, as +if he had broken some bones, but nevertheless he went to have a <i>bock</i> +at his brewery.</p> + +<p>When she saw him come in, Mademoiselle Zoé was surprised and said: +"What! back already? are you tired?" "I am tired ... very tired.... You +know, when one is not used to going out.... But I have done with it. I +shall not go into the country again. I had better have stopped here. For +the future, I shall not stir out again."</p> + +<p>But she could not persuade him to tell her about his little excursion, +although she wanted very much to hear all about it, and for the first +time in his life he got thoroughly drunk that night, and had to be +carried home.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_FATHER" id="THE_FATHER"></a>THE FATHER</h2> + + +<h3>I</h3> + +<p>As he lived at Batignolles and was a clerk in the Public Education +Office, he took the omnibus every morning, when he went to the center of +Paris, sitting opposite a girl with whom he fell in love.</p> + +<p>She went to the shop where she was employed, at the same time every day. +She was a little brunette, one of those dark girls whose eyes are so +dark that they look like spots, and whose complexion has a look like +ivory. He always saw her coming at the corner of the same street, and +she generally had to run to catch the heavy vehicle, and sprang upon the +steps before the horses had quite stopped. Then she got inside, rather +out of breath, and sitting down, she looked round her.</p> + +<p>The first time that he saw her, François Tessier felt that her face +pleased him extremely. One sometimes meets one of those women whom one +longs to clasp madly in one's arms immediately, without even knowing +her. That girl answered to his inward desires, to his secret hopes, to +that sort of ideal of love which one cherishes in the depths of the +heart, without knowing it.</p> + +<p>He looked at her intently, in spite of himself, and she grew embarrassed +at his looks and blushed. He saw it and tried to turn away his eyes; but +he involuntarily fixed them upon her again every moment, although he +tried to look in another direction, and in a few days they knew each +other without having spoken. He gave up his place to her when the +omnibus was full, and got outside, though he was very sorry to do it. By +this time, she had got so far as to greet him with a little smile; and +although she always dropped her eyes under his looks, which she felt +were too ardent, yet she did not appear offended at being looked at in +such a manner.</p> + +<p>They ended by speaking. A kind of rapid intimacy had become established +between them, a daily intimacy of half an hour, and that was certainly +one of the most charming half hours in his life, to him. He thought of +her all the rest of the time, saw her continually during the long office +hours, for he was haunted and bewitched by that floating and yet +tenacious recollection which the image of a beloved woman leaves in us, +and it seemed to him that the entire possession of that little person +would be maddening happiness to him, almost above human realization.</p> + +<p>Every morning now she shook hands with him, and he preserved the feeling +of that touch, and the recollection of the gentle pressure of her little +fingers, until the next day, and he almost fancied that he preserved the +imprint of it, on his skin, and he anxiously waited for this short +omnibus ride, all the rest of the time, while Sundays seemed to him +heart-breaking days. However, there was no doubt that she loved him, for +one Saturday, in spring, she promised to go and lunch with him at +Maisons-Laffitte the next day.</p> + + +<h3>II</h3> + +<p>She was at the railway station first, which surprised him, but she said: +"Before going, I want to speak to you. We have twenty minutes, and that +is more than I shall take for what I have to say."</p> + +<p>She trembled as she hung onto his arm, and she looked down, while her +cheeks were pale, but she continued: "I do not want to be deceived in +you, and I shall not go there with you, unless you promise, unless +you swear ... not to do ... not to do anything ... that is at all +improper ..."</p> + +<p>She had suddenly become as red as a poppy, and said no more. He did not +know what to reply, for he was happy and disappointed at the same time. +At the bottom of his heart, he perhaps preferred that it should be so, +and yet ... yet during the night he had indulged in anticipations that +sent the hot blood flowing through his veins. He should love her less, +certainly, if he knew that her conduct was light, but then it would be +so charming, so delicious for him! And he made all a man's usual selfish +calculations in love affairs.</p> + +<p>As he did not say anything, she began to speak again in an agitated +voice, and with tears in her eyes. "If you do not promise to respect me +altogether, I shall return home." And so he squeezed her arm tenderly +and replied: "I promise, you shall only do what you like." She appeared +relieved in mind, and asked with a smile: "Do you really mean it?" And +he looked into her eyes and replied: "I swear it." "Now you may take the +tickets," she said.</p> + +<p>During the journey they could hardly speak, as the carriage was full, +and when they got to Maison-Laffitte they went towards the Seine. The +sun, which shone full onto the river, onto the leaves and onto the turf +seemed to be reflected in them in his brightness, and they went, hand +in hand, along the bank, looking at the shoals of little fish swimming +near the bank, and they went on brimming over with happiness, as if they +were raised from the earth in their lightness of heart.</p> + +<p>At last she said: "How foolish you must think me!"</p> + +<p>"Why?" he asked. "To come out like this, all alone with you?" "Certainly +not; it is quite natural." "No, no; it is not natural for me—because I +do not wish to commit a fault, and yet this is how girls fall. But if +you only knew how wretched it is, every day the same thing, every day in +the month, and every month in the year. I live quite alone with Mamma, +and as she has had a great deal of trouble, she is not very cheerful. I +do the best I can, and try to laugh in spite of everything, but I do not +always succeed. But all the same, it was wrong in me to come, though +you, at any rate, will not be sorry."</p> + +<p>By way of an answer he kissed her ardently on her ear that was nearest +him, but she moved from him with an abrupt movement, and getting +suddenly angry, she exclaimed: "Oh! Monsieur François, after what you +swore to me!" And they went back to Maison-Laffitte.</p> + +<p>They had lunch at the <i>Petit-Havre</i>, a low house, buried under four +enormous poplar trees, by the side of the river. The air, the heat, the +light wine, and the sensation of being so close together, made them red +and silent, with a feeling of oppression, but after the coffee, they +regained all their high spirits, and having crossed the Seine, they +started off along the bank, towards the village of La Frette, and +suddenly he asked: "What is your name?" "Louise." "Louise," he +repeated, and said nothing more.</p> + +<p>The river, which described a long curve, bathed a row of white houses in +the distance, which were reflected in the water. The girl picked the +daisies and made them into a great bunch, whilst he sang vigorously, as +intoxicated as a colt that has been turned into a meadow. On their left, +a vine-covered slope followed the river, but suddenly François stopped +motionless with astonishment: "Oh! look there!" he said.</p> + +<p>The vines had come to an end, and the whole slope was covered with lilac +bushes in flower. It was a violet colored wood! A kind of great carpet +stretched over the earth, reaching as far as the village, more than two +miles off. She also stood, surprised and delighted, and murmured: "Oh! +how pretty!" And crossing a meadow they ran towards that curious low +hill, which every year furnishes all the lilac which is drawn through +Paris on the carts of the street sellers.</p> + +<p>A narrow path went beneath the trees, so they took it, and when they +came to a small clearing, they sat down.</p> + +<p>Swarms of flies were buzzing around them and making a continuous, gentle +sound, and the sun, the bright sun of a perfectly still day, shone over +the bright slopes, and from that wood of flowers, a powerful aroma was +borne towards them, a breath of perfume, of that sweat of the flowers.</p> + +<p>A church clock struck in the distance, and they embraced gently, then +clasped each other close, lying on the grass, without the knowledge of +anything except of that kiss. She had closed her eyes and held him in +her arms, pressing him to her closely, without a thought, with her +reason bewildered, and from head to foot in passionate expectation. And +she surrendered herself altogether, without knowing that she had given +herself to him. But she soon came to herself with the feeling of a great +misfortune, and she began to cry and sob with grief, with her face +buried in her hands.</p> + +<p>He tried to console her, but she wanted to start, to return, and to go +home immediately, and she kept saying as she walked along quickly: "Good +heavens! good heavens!" He said to her: "Louise! Louise! Please let us +stop here." But now her cheeks were red and her eyes hollow, and as +soon as they got to the railway station in Paris, she left him, without +even saying good-bye.</p> + + +<h3>III</h3> + +<p>When he met her in the omnibus next day, she appeared to him to be +changed and thinner, and she said to him: "I want to speak to you; we +will get down at the Boulevard."</p> + +<p>As soon as they were on the pavement, she said: "We must bid each other +good-bye; I cannot meet you again after what has happened." "But why?" +he asked. "Because I cannot; I have been culpable, and I will not be so +again."</p> + +<p>Then he implored her, tortured by desire, maddened by the wish of having +her entirely, in the absolute freedom of nights of love, but she replied +firmly: "No, I cannot, I cannot." He, however, only grew all the more +excited, and promised to marry her, but she said again: "No." And left +him.</p> + +<p>For a week he did not see her. He could not manage to meet her, and as +he did not know her address, he thought that he had lost her altogether. +On the ninth day, however, there was a ring at his bell, and when he +opened it, she was there. She threw herself into his arms, and did not +resist any longer, and for three months she was his mistress. He was +beginning to grow tired of her, when she told him she was pregnant, and +then he had one idea and wish: To break with her at any price. As, +however, he could not do that, not knowing how to begin or what to say, +full of anxiety through the fear of that child which was growing, he +took a decisive step: One night he changed his lodgings, and +disappeared.</p> + +<p>The blow was so heavy that she did not look for the man who had +abandoned her, but threw herself at her mother's knees and confessed her +misfortune, and some months after, she gave birth to a boy.</p> + + +<h3>IV</h3> + +<p>Years passed, and François Tessier grew old without there having been +any alteration in his life. He led the dull, monotonous life of +<i>bureaucrates</i>, without hopes and without expectations. Every day he got +up at the same time, went through the same streets, went through the +same door, passed the same porter, went into the same office, sat in the +same chair, and did the same work. He was alone in the world, alone, +during the day in the midst of his colleagues, and alone at night in his +bachelor's lodgings, and he laid by a hundred francs a month, against +old age.</p> + +<p>Every Sunday he went to the <i>Champs-Elysées</i>, to watch the elegant +people, the carriages and the pretty women, and the next day he used to +say to one of his colleagues: "The return of the carriages from the +<i>Bois de Boulogne</i> was very brilliant yesterday." One fine Sunday +morning, however, he went into the <i>Parc Monceau</i>, where the mothers and +nurses, sitting on the sides of the walks, watched the children playing, +and suddenly François Tessier started. A woman passed by, holding two +children by the hand; a little boy of about ten and a little girl of +four. It was she.</p> + +<p>He walked another hundred yards, and then fell into a chair, choking +with emotion. She had not recognized him, and so he came back, wishing +to see her again. She was sitting down now, and the boy was standing by +her side very quietly, while the little girl was making sand castles. It +was she, it was certainly she, but she had the serious looks of a lady, +was dressed simply, and looked self-possessed and dignified. He looked +at her from a distance, for he did not venture to go near, but the +little boy raised his head, and François Tessier felt himself tremble. +It was his own son, there could be no doubt of that. And as he looked at +him, he thought he could recognize himself as he appeared in an old +photograph taken years ago. He remained hidden behind a tree, waiting +for her to go, that he might follow her.</p> + +<p>He did not sleep that night. The idea of the child especially harrassed +him. His son! Oh! If he could only have known, have been sure? But what +could he have done? However, he went to the house where she had lived, +and asked about her. He was told that a neighbor, an honorable man of +strict morals, had been touched by her distress, and had married her; +he knew the fault she had committed and had married her, and had even +recognized the child, his, François Tessier's child, as his own.</p> + +<p>He returned to the <i>Parc Monceau</i> every Sunday, for then he always saw +her, and each time he was seized with a mad, an irresistible longing, to +take his son into his arms, cover him with kisses and to steal him, to +carry him off.</p> + +<p>He suffered horribly in his wretched isolation as an old bachelor, with +nobody to care for him, and he also suffered atrocious mental torture, +torn by paternal tenderness springing from remorse, longing and +jealousy, and from that need of loving one's own children, which nature +has implanted into all, and so at last he determined to make a +despairing attempt, and going up to her, as she entered the park, he +said, standing in the middle of the path, pale and with trembling lips: +"You do not recognize me." She raised her eyes, looked at him, uttered +an exclamation of horror, of terror, and, taking the two children by the +hand she rushed away, dragging them after her, whilst he went home and +wept, inconsolably.</p> + +<p>Months passed without his seeing her again, but he suffered, day and +night, for he was a prey to his paternal love. He would gladly have +died, if he could only have kissed his son, he would have committed +murder, performed any task, braved any danger, ventured anything. He +wrote to her, but she did not reply, and after writing her some twenty +letters he saw that there was no hope of altering her determination, and +then he formed the desperate resolution of writing to her husband, +being quite prepared to receive a bullet from a revolver, if need be. +His letter only consisted of a few lines, as follows:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"Monsieur,</p> + +<p>"You must have a perfect horror of my name, but I am so miserable, +so overcome by misery, that my only hope is in you, and therefore I +venture to request you to grant me an interview of only five +minutes."</p> + +<p>"I have the honor, etc."</p></div> + +<p>The next day he received the reply:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"Monsieur,</p> + +<p>"I shall expect you to-morrow, Tuesday, at five o'clock."</p></div> + + +<h3>V</h3> + +<p>As he went up the staircase, François Tessier's heart beat so violently +that he had to stop several times. There was a dull and violent noise in +his breast, the noise as of some animal galloping, and he could only +breathe with difficulty, and had to hold on to the banisters in order +not to fall.</p> + +<p>He rang the bell on the third floor, and when a maidservant had opened +the door, he asked "Does Monsieur Flamel live here?" "Yes. Monsieur. +Kindly come in."</p> + +<p>He was shown into the drawing-room; he was alone and waited, feeling +bewildered, as in the midst of a catastrophe, until a door opened and a +man came in. He was tall, serious, and rather stout, and wore a black +frock-coat, and pointed to a chair with his hand. François Tessier sat +down, and then said, panting: "Monsieur ... Monsieur ... I do not know +whether you know my name ... whether you know ..."</p> + +<p>Monsieur Flamel interrupted him. "You need not tell it me, Monsieur, I +know it. My wife has spoken to me about you." He spoke in the dignified +tone of voice of a good man who wishes to be severe, and with the +common-place stateliness of an honorable man, and François Tessier +continued: "Well, Monsieur, I want to say this: I am dying of grief, of +remorse, of shame, and I would like once, only once to kiss ... the +child ..."</p> + +<p>Monsieur Flamel got up and rang the bell, and when the servant came in, +he said: "Will you bring Louis here." When she had gone out, they +remained face to face, without speaking, as they had nothing more to say +to one another, and waited. Then, suddenly, a little boy of ten rushed +into the room, and ran up to the man whom he believed to be his father, +but he stopped when he saw a stranger, and Monsieur Flamel kissed him +and said: "Now go and kiss that gentleman, my dear." And the child went +up to him nicely, and looked at the stranger.</p> + +<p>François Tessier had risen, he let his hat fall, and was ready to fall +himself as he looked at his son, while Monsieur Flamel had turned away, +from a feeling of delicacy, and was looking out of the window.</p> + +<p>The child waited in surprise, but he picked up the hat and gave it to +the stranger. Then François, taking the child up in his arms, began to +kiss him wildly all over his face, on his eyes, his cheeks, on his +mouth, on his hair, and the youngster, frightened at the shower of +kisses tried to avoid them, turned away his head and pushed away the +man's face with his little hands. But suddenly, François Tessier put him +down, and cried: "Good-bye! Good-bye!" And he rushed out of the room as +if he had been a thief.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_VAGABOND" id="A_VAGABOND"></a>A VAGABOND</h2> + + +<p>For more than a month he had been walking, seeking for work everywhere. +He had left his native place, Ville-Avary, in the department of la +Manche, because there was no work to be had. He was a journeyman +carpenter, twenty-seven years old, a steady fellow and good workman, but +for two months, he, the eldest son, had been obliged to live on his +family, with nothing to do but to cross his arms in the general stoppage +of work. Bread was getting scarce with them; the two sisters went out as +charwomen, but earned little, and he, Jacques Randel, the strongest of +them all, did nothing because he had nothing to do, and ate the others' +soup.</p> + +<p>Then he went and inquired at the town-hall, and the mayor's secretary +told him that he would find work at the Labor-center, and so he started, +well provided with papers and certificates, and carrying another pair of +shoes, a pair of trousers and a shirt, in a blue handkerchief at the end +of his stick.</p> + +<p>And he had walked almost without stopping, day and night, along +interminable roads, in the sun and rain, without ever reaching that +mysterious country where workmen find work. At first he had the fixed +idea that he must only work because he was a carpenter, but at every +carpenter's shop where he applied he was told that they had just +dismissed men on account of work being so slack, and finding himself at +the end of his resources, he made up his mind to undertake any job that +he might come across on the road. And so by turns he was a navvy, +stableman, stone sawer; he split wood, lopped the branches of trees, dug +wells, mixed mortar, tied up faggots, tended goats on a mountain, and +all for a few pence, for he only obtained two or three days work +occasionally, by offering himself at a shamefully low price, in order to +tempt the avarice of employers and peasants.</p> + +<p>And now, for a week he had found nothing, and he had no money left, and +was eating a piece of bread, thanks to the charity of some women from +whom he had begged at house doors, on the road. It was getting dark, and +Jacques Randel, jaded, his legs failing him, his stomach empty, and with +despair in his heart, was walking barefoot on the grass by the side of +the road, for he was taking care of his last pair of shoes, as the other +pair had already ceased to exist for a long time. It was a Saturday, +towards the end of autumn. The heavy gray clouds were being driven +rapidly through the sky by the gusts of wind which whistled among the +trees, and one felt that it would rain soon. The country was deserted at +that time of the evening, and on the eve of Sunday. Here and there in +the fields there rose up stacks of thrashed out corn, like huge yellow +mushrooms, and the fields looked bare, as they had already been sown for +the next year.</p> + +<p>Randel was hungry, with the hunger of some wild animal, such a hunger as +drives wolves to attack men. Worn out and weakened with fatigue, he took +longer strides, so as not to take so many steps, and with heavy head, +the blood throbbing in his temples, with red eyes and dry mouth, he +grasped his stick tightly in his hand, with a longing to strike the +first passer-by whom he should meet, and who might be going home to +supper, with all his force.</p> + +<p>He looked at the sides of the road with the image of potatoes dug up and +lying on the ground before his eyes; if he had found any, he would have +gathered some dead wood, made a fire in the ditch, and have had a +capital supper off the warm, round vegetables, which he would first of +all have held burning hot, in his cold hands. But it was too late in the +year, and he would have to gnaw a raw beetroot, as he had done the day +before, which he picked up in a field.</p> + +<p>For the last two days he had spoken aloud as he quickened his steps, +under the influence of his thoughts. He had never thought, hitherto, as +he had given all his mind, all his simple faculties, to his industrial +requirements. But now, fatigue, and this desperate search for work which +he could not get, refusals and rebuffs, nights spent in the open-air, +lying on the grass, long fasting, the contempt which he knew people with +a settled abode felt for a vagabond, and that question which he was +continually asked: "Why do you not remain at home?" Now, distress at not +being able to use his strong arms which he felt so full of vigor, the +recollection of his relations who had remained at home and who also had +not a half-penny, filled him by degrees with rage, which had been +accumulating every day, every hour, every minute, and which now escaped +his lips in spite of himself in short growling sentences.</p> + +<p>As he stumbled over the stones which rolled beneath his bare feet, he +grumbled, "How wretched! how miserable!... A set of hogs ... to let a +man die of hunger ... a carpenter ... a set of hogs ... not two +pence ... not two pence ... and now it is raining ... a set of hogs!..."</p> + +<p>He was indignant at the injustice of fate, and cast the blame on men, on +all men, because nature, that great, blind mother, is unjust, cruel and +perfidious, and he repeated through his clenched teeth: "A set of hogs," +as he looked at the thin gray smoke which rose from the roofs, for it +was the dinner hour. And without thinking about that other injustice, +which is human, and which is called robbery and violence, he felt +inclined to go into one of those houses to murder the inhabitants, and +to sit down to table, in their stead.</p> + +<p>He said to himself: "I have a right to live, now ... as they are letting +me die of hunger ... and yet I only ask for work ... a set of hogs!" And +the pain in his limbs, the gnawing in his heart rose to his head like +terrible intoxication, and gave rise to this simple thought in his +brain: "I have the right to live because I breathe, and because the air +is the common property of everybody, and so nobody has a right to leave +me without bread!"</p> + +<p>A fine, thick, icy cold rain was coming down and he stopped and +murmured: "How miserable!... another month of walking before I get +home...." He was indeed returning home then; for he saw that he should +more easily find work in his native town where he was known,—and he did +not mind what he did,—than on the high roads, where everybody suspected +him. As the carpentering business was not going well he would turn +day-laborer, be a mason's hodman, ditcher, break stones on the road. If +he only earned tenpence a day, that would at any rate find him something +to eat.</p> + +<p>He tied the remains of his last pocket handkerchief round his neck, to +prevent the cold water from running down his back and chest; but he soon +found that it was penetrating the thin material of which his clothes +were made, and he glanced round him with the agonized look of a man who +does not know where to hide his body and to rest his head, and has no +place of shelter in the whole world.</p> + +<p>Night came on, and wrapped the country in obscurity, and in the +distance, in a meadow, he saw a dark spot on the grass; it was a cow, +and so he got over the ditch by the roadside and went up to her, without +exactly knowing what he was doing. When he got close to her, she raised +her great head to him, and he thought: "If I only had a jug, I could get +a little milk." He looked at the cow, and the cow looked at him, and +then suddenly giving her a violent kick in the side, he said: "Get up!"</p> + +<p>The animal got up slowly, letting her heavy udders hang down below her; +then the man lay down on his back between the animal's legs, and he +drank for a long time, squeezing her warm swollen teats which tasted of +the cow stall, with both hands, and he drank as long as any milk +remained in that living well. But the icy rain began to fall more +heavily, and he saw no place of shelter on the whole of that bare plain. +He was cold, and he looked set a light which was shining among the +trees, in the window of a house.</p> + +<p>The cow had lain down again, heavily, and he sat down by her side and +stroked her head, grateful for the nourishment she had given him. The +animal's strong, thick breath, which came out of her nostrils like two +jets of steam in the evening air, blew onto the workman's face, who +said: "You are not cold, inside there!" He put his hands onto her chest +and under her legs to find some warmth there, and then the idea struck +him, that he might pass the night against that large, warm stomach. So +he found a comfortable place and laid his forehead against the great +udder which had quenched his thirst just previously, and then, as he was +worn-out with fatigue, he fell asleep immediately.</p> + +<p>He woke up, however, several times, with his back or his stomach half +frozen, according as he put one or the other to the animal's flank. Then +he turned over to warm and dry that part of his body which had remained +exposed to the night air, and he soon went soundly to sleep again.</p> + +<p>The crowing of a cock woke him; the day was breaking, it was no longer +raining and the sky was bright. The cow was resting, with her muzzle on +the ground, and he stooped down, resting on his hands, to kiss those +wide nostrils of moist flesh, and said: "Good-bye, my beauty ... until +next time ... you are a nice animal ... Good-bye ..." Then he put on his +shoes and went off, and for two hours he walked straight on before him, +always following the same road, and then he felt so tired that he sat +down on the grass. It was broad daylight by that time, and the church +bells were ringing; men in blue blouses, women in white caps, some on +foot, some in carts, began to pass along the road, going to the +neighboring villages to spend Sunday with friends or relations.</p> + +<p>A stout peasant came in sight, drawing a score of frightened, bleating +sheep in front of him, whom an active dog kept together, so Randel got +up and raising his cap, he said: "You do not happen to have any work +for a man who is dying of hunger?" But the other giving an angry look at +the vagabond, replied: "I have no work for fellows whom I meet on the +road."</p> + +<p>And the carpenter went back, and sat down by the side of the ditch +again. He waited there for a long time, watching the country people +pass, and looking for a kind compassionate face, before he renewed his +request, and finally selected a man in an overcoat, whose stomach was +adorned with a gold chain. "I have been looking for work," he said, "for +the last two months and cannot find any, and I have not a half-penny in +my pocket." But the semi-gentleman replied: "You should have read the +notice which is stuck up at the beginning of the village: <i>Begging is +prohibited within the boundaries of this parish.</i> Let me tell you I am +the mayor, and if you do not get out of here pretty quickly, I shall +have you arrested."</p> + +<p>Randel, who was getting angry, replied: "Have me arrested if you like; I +should prefer it, for at any rate I should not die of hunger." And he +went back and sat down by the side of his ditch again, and in about a +quarter of an hour two gendarmes appeared on the road. They were walking +slowly, side by side, well in sight, glittering in the sun with their +shining hats, their yellow accouterments and their metal buttons, as if +to frighten evildoers, and to put them to flight at a distance. He knew +that they were coming after him, but he did not move, for he was seized +with a sudden desire to defy them, to be arrested by them, and to have +his revenge later.</p> + +<p>They came on without appearing to have seen him, walking with military +steps, heavily and balancing themselves as if they were doing <i>the +goose</i> steps; and then suddenly as they passed him, they appeared to +have noticed him, and stopped and looked at him angrily and +threateningly, and the brigadier came up to him and asked: "What are you +doing here?" "I am resting," the man replied, calmly. "Where do you come +from?" "If I had to tell you all the places I have been to, it would +take me more than an hour." "Where are you going to?" "To Ville-Avary." +"Where is that?" "In La Manche." "Is that where you belong to?" "It is." +"Why did you leave it?" "To try for work."</p> + +<p>The brigadier turned to his gendarme, and said, in the angry voice of a +man who is exasperated at last by the same trick: "They all say that, +these scamps. I know all about it." And then he continued: "Have you any +papers?" "Yes, I have some." "Give them to me."</p> + +<p>Randel took his papers out of his pockets; his certificates, those poor +worn-out, dirty papers which were falling to pieces, and gave them to +the soldier, who spelled them through, hemming and hawing and then +having seen that they were all in order, he gave them back to Randel +with the dissatisfied look of a man whom someone cleverer than himself +has tricked.</p> + +<p>After a few moments' further reflection, he asked him: "Have you any +money on you?" "No." "None whatever?" "None." "Not even a sou?" "Not +even a sou!" "How do you live then?" "On what people give me." "Then you +beg?" And Randel answered resolutely: "Yes, when I can."</p> + +<p>Then the gendarme said: "I have caught you on the highroad in the act of +vagabondage and begging, without any resources or trade, and so I +command you to come with me." The carpenter got up and said: "Wherever +you please." And placing himself between the two soldiers, even before +he had received the order to do so, he added: "Come, lock me up; that +will at any rate put a roof over my head when it rains."</p> + +<p>And they set off towards the village, whose red tiles could be seen +through the leafless trees a quarter of a league off. Service was just +going to begin when they went through the village. The square was full +of people, who immediately formed two hedges to see the criminal, who +was being followed by a crowd of excited children, pass. Male and female +peasants looked at the prisoner between the two gendarmes, with hatred +in their eyes, and a longing to throw stones at him, to tear his skin +with their nails, to trample him under their feet. They asked each other +whether he had committed murder or robbery. The butcher, who was an +ex-Spahl, declared that he was a deserter. The tobacconist thought that +he recognized him as the man who had that very morning passed a bad half +franc piece off on him, and the ironmonger declared that he was the +murderer of widow Malet, whom the police had been looking for, for six +months.</p> + +<p>In the hall of the municipal council, into which his custodians took +him, Randel saw the mayor again, sitting on the magisterial bench, with +the schoolmaster by his side. "Ah! ah!" the magistrate exclaimed, "so +here you are again, my fine fellow. I told you I should have you locked +up. Well, brigadier, what is he charged with?"</p> + +<p>"He is a vagabond without house or home, Monsieur le Maire, without any +resources or money, so he says, who was arrested in the act of begging, +but he is provided with good testimonials, and his papers are all in +order."</p> + +<p>"Show me his papers," the mayor said. He took them, read them, reread, +returned them, and then said: "Search him;" so they searched him, but +found nothing, and the Mayor seemed perplexed, and asked the workman:</p> + +<p>"What were you doing on the road this morning?" "I was looking for +work." "Work?... On the highroad?" "How do you expect me to find any, if +I hid in the woods?"</p> + +<p>They looked at each other, with the hatred of two wild beasts which +belong to different, hostile species, and the magistrate continued: "I +am going to have you set at liberty but do not be brought up before me +again." To which the carpenter replied: "I would rather you locked me +up; I have had enough running about the country." But the magistrate +replied severely: "Be silent." And then he said to the two gendarmes: +"You will conduct this man two hundred yards from the village, and let +him continue his journey."</p> + +<p>"At any rate, give me something to eat," the workman said; but the other +grew indignant: "It only remains for us to feed you! Ah! ah! ah! that is +rather strong!" But Randel went on firmly: "If you let me nearly die of +hunger again, you will force me to commit a crime, and then, so much the +worse for you other fat fellows."</p> + +<p>The Mayor had risen, and he repeated: "Take him away immediately, or I +shall end by getting angry."</p> + +<p>The two gendarmes thereupon seized the carpenter by the arms and +dragged him out. He allowed them to do it without resistance, passed +through the village again, and found himself on the highroad once more; +and when the men had accompanied him two hundred yards beyond the +village, the brigadier said: "Now off with you, and do not let me catch +you about here again, for if I do you will know it."</p> + +<p>Randel went off without replying, or knowing where he was going. He +walked on for a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes, so stupefied that +he no longer thought of anything. But suddenly, as he was passing a +small house, where the window was half open, the smell of the soup and +boiled meat stopped him suddenly in front of it, and hunger, fierce, +devouring, maddening hunger seized him, and almost drove him against the +walls of the house, like a wild beast.</p> + +<p>He said aloud, in a grumbling voice: "In heaven's name! they must give +me some, this time." And he began to knock at the door vigorously with +his stick, and as nobody came he knocked louder and called out: "He! he! +you people in there, open the door!" And then, as nothing moved, he went +up to the window, and pushed it open with his hand, and the close warm +air of the kitchen, full of the smell of hot soup, meat and cabbage +escaped into the cold, outer air, and with a bound the carpenter was in +the house. Two covers were laid on the table, and no doubt the +proprietors of the house, on going to church, had left their dinner on +the fire, their nice, Sunday boiled beef and vegetable soup, while there +was a loaf of new bread on the chimney-piece, between two bottles which +seemed full.</p> + +<p>Randel seized the bread first of all, and broke it with as much violence +as if he were strangling a man, and then he began to eat it +voraciously, swallowing great mouthfuls quickly. But almost immediately +the smell of the meat attracted him to the fire-place, and having taken +off the lid of the saucepan, he plunged a fork into it and brought out a +large piece of beef tied with a string. Then he took more cabbage, +carrots and onions until his plate was full, and having put it onto the +table, he sat down before it, cut the meat into four pieces, and dined +as if he had been at home. When he had eaten nearly all the meat besides +a quantity of vegetables, he felt thirsty, and took one of the bottles +off the mantel-piece.</p> + +<p>Scarcely had he poured the liquor into his glass, than he saw it was +brandy. So much the better; it was warming and would instill some fire +into his veins, and that would be all right, after being so cold; and he +drank some. He found it very good, certainly, for he had grown +unaccustomed to it, and he poured himself out another glassful, which he +drank at two gulps. And then, almost immediately he felt quite merry and +light-hearted from the effect of the alcohol, just as if some great +happiness were flowing through his system.</p> + +<p>He continued to eat, but more slowly, and dipping his bread into the +soup. His skin had become burning, and especially his forehead, where +the veins were throbbing. But suddenly the church bells began to ring; +Mass was over, and instinct rather than fear, the instinct of prudence +which guides all beings, and makes them clear-sighted in danger, made +the carpenter get up. He put the remains of the loaf into one pocket, +and the brandy bottle into the other, and he furtively went to the +window and looked out into the road. It was still deserted, so he jumped +out and set off walking again, but instead of following the highroad, +he ran across the fields towards a wood which he saw a little way off.</p> + +<p>He felt alert, strong, light-hearted, glad of what he had done, and so +nimble that he sprang over the enclosures of the fields at a single +bound and as soon as he was under the trees, he took the bottle out of +his pocket again and began to drink once more, swallowing it down as he +walked, and then his ideas began to get confused, his eyes grew dim and +his legs as elastic as springs and he started singing the old popular +song.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>Oh! how nice, how nice it is,</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>To pick the sweet, wild strawberries.</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>He was now walking on thick, damp, cool moss and that soft carpet under +his feet made him feel absurdly inclined to turn head over heels, like +he used to do as a child, so he took a run, turned a somersault, got up +and began over again. And between each time, he began to sing again:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>Oh! how nice, how nice it is,</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>To pick the sweet, wild strawberries.</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Suddenly he found himself on the edge of a deep road and in the road he +saw a tall girl, a servant who was returning to the village with two +pails of milk. He watched, stooping down and with his eyes as bright as +those of a dog who scents a quail, but she saw him, raised her head and +said: "Was that you singing like that?" He did not reply, however, but +jumped down into the road, although it was at least six feet down, and +when she saw him suddenly standing in front of her, she exclaimed: "Oh! +dear, how you frightened me!"</p> + +<p>But he did not hear her for he was drunk, he was mad, excited by another +requirement which was more imperative than hunger, more feverish than +alcohol; by the irresistible fury of the man who has been in want of +everything for two months, and who is drunk; who is young, ardent and +inflamed by all the appetites which nature has implanted in the vigorous +flesh of men.</p> + +<p>The girl started back from him, frightened at his face, his eyes, his +half open mouth, his outstretched hands, but he seized her by the +shoulders, and without a word, threw her down in the road.</p> + +<p>She let her two pails fall and they rolled over noisily, all the milk +was spilt and then she screamed, but comprehending that it would be of +no use to call for help in that lonely spot and seeing that he was not +going to make an attempt on her life, she yielded without much +difficulty, and not very angry neither, for he was a strong young +fellow, but really not too rough.</p> + +<p>When she got up, the thought of her overturned pails suddenly filled +her with fury and taking off one of her wooden clogs, she threw it, in +her turn, at the man to break his head, if he did not pay her for her +milk.</p> + +<p>But he, mistaking the reason for this sudden violent attack, somewhat +sobered, and frightened at what he had done, ran off as fast as he could +while she threw stones at him, some of which hit him in the back.</p> + +<p>He ran for a long time, very long, until he felt more tired than he had +ever done before. His legs were so weak that they could scarcely carry +him; all his ideas were confused, he lost the recollection of +everything, and could no longer think about anything; and so he sat +down at the foot of a tree, and in five minutes was fast asleep. He was +soon awakened, however, by a rough shake and on opening his eyes he saw +two cocked hats of polished leather bending over him, and the two +gendarmes of the morning, who were holding him and binding his arms.</p> + +<p>"I knew I should catch you again," said the brigadier, jeeringly. But +Randel got up without replying. The two men shook him, quite ready to +ill treat him if he made a movement, for he was their prey now, he had +become a jail-bird, caught by those hunters of criminals who would not +let him go again.</p> + +<p>"Now start!" the brigadier said, and they set off, It was getting +evening and the autumn twilight was settling heavy and dark over the +land, and in half an hour they reached the village, where every door was +open, for the people had heard what had happened. Peasants and peasant +women and girls, excited with anger as if every man had been robbed and +every woman violated, wished to see the wretch brought back so that they +might overwhelm him with abuse. They hooted him from the first house in +the village until they reached the Mansion-house, where the Mayor was +waiting for him, being himself avenged on this vagabond and as soon as +he saw him, he cried from far:</p> + +<p>"Ah! my fine fellow! here we are!" And he rubbed his hands, more pleased +than he usually was and he continued: "I said so. I said so the moment I +saw him in the road."</p> + +<p>And then with increased satisfaction:</p> + +<p>"Oh! you blackguard! Oh! you dirty blackguard! You will get your twenty +years, my fine fellow!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="USELESS_BEAUTY" id="USELESS_BEAUTY"></a>USELESS BEAUTY</h2> + + +<h3>I</h3> + +<p>A very elegant victoria with two beautiful black horses was drawn up in +front of the mansion. It was the end of June at about half past five in +the afternoon, and the sun shone warm and bright into the large +courtyard.</p> + +<p>The Countess de Mascaret came down just as her husband, who was coming +home, appeared in the carriage entrance. He stopped for a few moments to +look at his wife and grew rather pale. She was very beautiful, graceful +and distinguished looking, with her long oval face, her complexion like +gilt ivory, her large gray eyes and her black hair; and she got into her +carriage without looking at him, without even seeming to have noticed +him, with such a particularly high-bred air, that the furious jealousy +by which he had been devoured for so long, again gnawed at his heart. He +went up to her and said: "You are going for a drive?" She merely replied +disdainfully: "You see I am!" "In the Bois de Boulogne?" "Most +probably." "May I come with you?" "The carriage belongs to you."</p> + +<p>Without being surprised at the tone of voice in which she answered him, +he got in and sat down by his wife's side, and said: "Bois de Boulonge." +The footman jumped up by the coachman's side, and the horses as usual +pawed the ground and shook their heads until they were in the street. +Husband and wife sat side by side, without speaking. He was thinking how +to begin a conversation, but she maintained such an obstinately hard +look, that he did not venture to make the attempt. At last, however, he +cunningly, accidentally as it were, touched the Countess's gloved hand +with his own, but she drew her arm away with a movement which was so +expressive of disgust, that he remained thoughtful, in spite of his +usual authoritative and despotic character, and he said: "Gabrielle!" +"What do you want?" "I think you are looking adorable."</p> + +<p>She did not reply, but remained lying back in the carriage, looking like +an irritated queen. By that time they were driving up the <i>Champs +Elysées</i>, towards the <i>Arc de Triomphe</i>. That immense monument, at the +end of the long avenue, raised its colossal arch against the red sky, +and the sun seemed to be descending onto it, showering fiery dust on it +from the sky.</p> + +<p>The stream of carriages, with the sun reflecting from the bright, plated +harness and the shining lamps, caused a double current to flow towards +the town and towards the wood, and the Count de Mascaret continued: "My +dear Gabrielle!"</p> + +<p>But then, unable to bear it any longer, she replied in an exasperated +voice: "Oh! do leave me in peace, pray; I am not even at liberty to have +my carriage to myself, now." He, however, pretended not to hear her, and +continued: "You have never looked so pretty as you do to-day."</p> + +<p>Her patience was decidedly at an end, and she replied with irrepressible +anger: "You are wrong to notice it, for I swear to you, that I will +never have anything to do with you in that way again." He was decidedly +stupefied and agitated, and his violent nature gaining the upper hand, +he exclaimed: "What do you mean by that?" in such a manner as revealed +rather the brutal master, than the amorous man. But she replied in a +low voice, so that the servants might not hear amidst the deafening +noise of the wheels: "Ah! What do I mean by that? What do I mean by +that? Now I recognize you again! Do you want me to tell everything?" +"Yes." "Everything that has been on my heart, since I have been the +victim of your terrible selfishness?"</p> + +<p>He had grown red with surprise and anger, and he growled between his +closed teeth: "Yes, tell me everything."</p> + +<p>He was a tall, broad-shouldered man, with a big, red beard, a handsome +man, a nobleman, a man of the world, who passed as a perfect husband and +an excellent father, and now for the first time since they had started +she turned towards him, and looked him full in the face: "Ah! You will +hear some disagreeable things, but you must know that I am prepared for +everything, that I fear nothing, and you less than anyone, to-day."</p> + +<p>He also was looking into her eyes, and already he was shaking with +passion, and he said in a low voice: "You are mad." "No, but I will no +longer be the victim of the hateful penalty of maternity, which you have +inflicted on me for eleven years! I wish to live like a woman of the +world, as I have a right to do, as all women have the right to do."</p> + +<p>He suddenly grew pale again, and stammered: "I do not understand you." +"Oh! yes; you understand me well enough. It is now three months since I +had my last child, and as I am still very beautiful, and as, in spite of +all your efforts you cannot spoil my figure, as you just now perceived, +when you saw me on the outside flight of steps, you think it is time +that I should become pregnant again." "But you are talking nonsense!" +"No, I am not. I am thirty, and I have had seven children, and we have +been married eleven years, and you hope that this will go on for ten +years longer, after which you will leave off being jealous."</p> + +<p>He seized her arm and squeezed it, saying: "I will not allow you to talk +to me like that, for long." "And I shall talk to you till the end, until +I have finished all I have to say to you, and if you try to prevent me, +I shall raise my voice so that the two servants, who are on the box, may +hear. I only allowed you to come with me for that object, for I have +these witnesses who will oblige you to listen to me, and to contain +yourself; so now, pay attention to what I say. I have always felt an +antipathy for you, and I have always let you see it, for I have never +lied, Monsieur. You married me in spite of myself; you forced my +parents, who were in embarrassed circumstances, to give me to you, +because you were rich, and they obliged me to marry you, in spite of my +tears.</p> + +<p>"So you bought me, and as soon as I was in your power, as soon as I had +become your companion, ready to attach myself to you, to forget your +coercive and threatening proceedings, in order that I might only +remember that I ought to be a devoted wife and to love you as much as it +might be possible for me to love you, you became jealous, you, as no man +has ever been before, with the base, ignoble jealousy of a spy, which +was as degrading for you as it was for me. I had not been married eight +months, when you suspected me of every perfidiousness, and you even told +me so. What a disgrace! And as you could not prevent me from being +beautiful, and from pleasing people, from being called in drawing-rooms, +and also in the newspapers, one of the most beautiful women in Paris, +you tried everything you could think of to keep admirers from me, and +you hit upon the abominable idea of making me spend my life in a +constant state of pregnancy, until the time when I should disgust every +man. Oh! do not deny it! I did not understand it for some time, but then +I guessed it. You even boasted about it to your sister, who told me of +it, for she is fond of me and was disgusted at your boorish coarseness.</p> + +<p>"Ah! Remember our struggles, doors smashed in, and locks forced! For +eleven years you have condemned me to the existence of a brood mare on a +studfarm. Then as soon as I was pregnant, you grew disgusted with me, +and I saw nothing of you for months, and I was sent into the country, to +the family mansion, among fields and meadows, to bring forth my child. +And when I reappeared, fresh, pretty and indestructible, still seductive +and constantly surrounded by admirers, hoping that at last I should live +a little like a young rich woman who belongs to society, you were seized +by jealousy again, and you recommenced to persecute me with that +infamous and hateful desire from which you are suffering at this moment, +by my side. And it is not desire of possessing me, for I should never +have refused myself to you, but it is the wish to make me unsightly.</p> + +<p>"Besides this, that abominable and mysterious circumstance took place, +which I was a long time in penetrating (but I grew acute by dint of +watching your thoughts and actions): You attached yourself to your +children with all the security which they gave you while I bore them in +my womb. You felt affection for them, with all your aversion for me, and +in spite of your ignoble fears, which were momentarily allayed by your +pleasure in seeing me grow stouter.</p> + +<p>"Oh! How often have I noticed that joy in you! I have seen it in your +eyes and guessed it. You loved your children as victories, and not +because they were of your own blood. They were victories over me, over +my youth, over my beauty, over my charms, over the compliments which +were paid me, and over those who whispered round me, without paying them +to me. And you are proud of them, you make a parade of them, you take +them out for drives in your break in the Bois de Boulogne, and you give +them donkey rides at Montmorency. You take them to theatrical matinees +so that you may be seen in the midst of them, so that people may say: +'What a kind father,' and that it may be repeated...."</p> + +<p>He had seized her wrist with savage brutality, and he squeezed it so +violently that she was quiet, and nearly cried out with the pain, and he +said to her in a whisper:</p> + +<p>"I love my children. Do you hear? What you have just told me is +disgraceful in a mother. But you belong to me; I am master ... your +master ... I can exact from you what I like and when I like ... and I +have the law ... on my side."</p> + +<p>He was trying to crush her fingers in the strong grip of his large, +muscular hand, and she, livid with pain, tried in vain to free them from +that vice which was crushing them; the agony made her pant, and the +tears came into her eyes. "You see that I am the master, and the +stronger," he said. And when he somewhat loosened his grasp, she asked +him: "Do you think that I am a religious woman?"</p> + +<p>He was surprised and stammered: "Yes." "Do you think that I could lie if +I swore to the truth of anything to you, before an altar on which +Christ's body is?" "No." "Will you go with me to some church?" "What +for?" "You shall see. Will you?" "If you absolutely wish it, yes."</p> + +<p>She raised her voice and said: "Philip!" And the coachman, bending down +a little, without taking his eyes from his horses, seemed to turn his +ear alone towards his mistress, who went on: "Drive to St. +Philip-du-Roule's." And the victoria, which had got to the entrance of +the Bois de Boulogne, returned to Paris.</p> + +<p>Husband and wife did not exchange a word during the drive, and when the +carriage stopped before the church, Madame de Mascaret jumped out, and +entered it, followed by the count, a few yards behind her. She went, +without stopping, as far as the choir-screen, and falling on her knees +at a chair, she buried her face in her hands. She prayed for a long +time, and he, standing behind her, could see that she was crying. She +wept noiselessly, like women do weep when they are in great, poignant +grief. There was a kind of undulation in her body, which ended in a +little sob, which was hidden and stifled by her fingers.</p> + +<p>But Count de Mascaret thought that the situation was lasting too long, +and he touched her on the shoulder. That contact recalled her to +herself, as if she had been burnt, and getting up, she looked straight +into his eyes. "This is what I have to say to you. I am afraid of +nothing, whatever you may do to me. You may kill me if you like. One of +your children is not yours, and one only; that I swear to you before +God, who hears me here. That is the only revenge which was possible for +me, in return for all your abominable tyrannies of the male, in return +for the penal servitude of childbearing to which you have condemned me. +Who was my lover? That you will never know! You may suspect everyone, +but you will never find out. I gave myself up to him, without love and +without pleasure, only for the sake of betraying you, and he also made +me a mother. Which is his child? That also you will never know. I have +seven; try and find out! I intended to tell you this later, for one has +not avenged oneself on a man by deceiving him, unless he knows it. You +have driven me to confess it to-day. I now have finished."</p> + +<p>She hurried through the church, towards the open door, expecting to hear +behind her the quick steps of her husband whom she had defied, and to be +knocked to the ground by a blow of his fist, but she heard nothing, and +reached her carriage. She jumped into it at a bound, overwhelmed with +anguish, and breathless with fear; so she called out to the coachman: +"Home!" and the horses set off at a quick trot.</p> + + +<h3>II</h3> + +<p>Countess de Mascaret was waiting in her room for dinner time, like a +criminal sentenced to death, awaits the hour of his execution. What was +he going to do? Had he come home? Despotic, passionate, ready for any +violence as he was, what was he meditating, what had he made up his +mind to do? There was no sound in the house, and every moment she looked +at the clock. Her lady's maid had come and dressed her for the evening, +and had then left the room again. Eight o'clock struck and almost at the +same moment there were two knocks at the door, and the butler came in +and told her that dinner was ready.</p> + +<p>"Has the Count come in?" "Yes, Madame la Comtesse; he is in the +dining-room."</p> + +<p>For a little moment she felt inclined to arm herself with a small +revolver which she had bought some time previously, foreseeing the +tragedy which was being rehearsed in her heart. But she remembered that +all the children would be there, and she took nothing except a smelling +bottle. He rose somewhat ceremoniously from his chair. They exchanged a +slight bow, and sat down. The three boys, with their tutor, Abbé Martin, +were on her right, and the three girls, with Miss Smith, their English +governess, were on her left. The youngest child, who was only three +months old, remained upstairs with his nurse.</p> + +<p>The Abbé said grace as usual, when there was no company, for the +children did not come down to dinner when there were guests present; +then they began dinner. The Countess, suffering from emotion, which she +had not at all calculated upon, remained with her eyes cast down, while +the Count scrutinized, now the three boys, and now the three girls, with +uncertain, unhappy looks, which traveled from one to the other. +Suddenly, pushing his wine-glass from him, it broke, and the wine was +spilt on the tablecloth, and at the slight noise caused by this little +accident, the Countess started up from her chair, and for the first time +they looked at each other. Then, almost every moment, in spite of +themselves, in spite of the irritation of their nerves caused by every +glance, they did not cease to exchange looks, rapid as pistol shots.</p> + +<p>The Abbé, who felt that there was some cause for embarrassment which he +could not divine, tried to get up the conversation, and he started +various subjects, but his useless efforts gave rise to no ideas and did +not bring out a word. The Countess, with feminine tact and obeying her +instincts of a woman of the world, tried to answer him two or three +times, but in vain. She could not find words, in the perplexity of her +mind, and her own voice almost frightened her in the silence of the +large room, where nothing else was heard except the slight sound of +plates and knives and forks.</p> + +<p>Suddenly, her husband said to her, bending forward: "Here, amidst your +children, will you swear to me that what you told me just now, is true?"</p> + +<p>The hatred which was fermenting in her veins, suddenly roused her, and +replying to that question with the same firmness with which she had +replied to his looks, she raised both her hands, the right pointing +towards the boys and the left towards the girls, and said in a firm, +resolute voice, and without any hesitation: "On the head of my children, +I swear that I have told you the truth."</p> + +<p>He got up, and throwing his table napkin onto the table with an +exasperated movement, he turned round and flung his chair against the +wall, and then went out without another word, while she, uttering a deep +sigh, as if after a first victory, went on in a calm voice: "You must +not pay any attention to what your father has just said, my darlings; he +was very much upset a short time ago, but he will be all right again, +in a few days."</p> + +<p>Then she talked with the Abbé and with Miss Smith, and had tender, +pretty words for all her children; those sweet spoiling mother's ways +which unfold little hearts.</p> + +<p>When dinner was over, she went into the drawing-room with all her little +following. She made the elder ones chatter, and when their bedtime came +she kissed them for a long time, and then went alone into her room.</p> + +<p>She waited, for she had no doubt that he would come, and she made up her +mind then, as her children were not with her, to defend her human skin, +as she defended her life as a woman of the world; and in the pocket of +her dress she put the little loaded revolver, which she had bought a few +days previously. The hours went by, the hours struck, and every sound +was hushed in the house. Only the cabs continued to rumble through the +streets, but their noise was only heard vaguely through the shuttered +and curtained windows.</p> + +<p>She waited, energetic and nervous, without any fear of him now, ready +for anything, and almost triumphant, for she had found means of +torturing him continually, during every moment of his life.</p> + +<p>But the first gleams of dawn came in through the fringe at the bottom of +her curtains, without his having come into her room, and then she awoke +to the fact, much to her stupefaction, that he was not coming. Having +locked and bolted her door, for greater security, she went to bed at +last, and remained there, with her eyes open, thinking, and barely +understanding it all, without being able to guess what he was going to +do.</p> + +<p>When her maid brought her tea, she at the same time gave her a letter +from her husband. He told her that he was going to undertake a long +journey, and in a postscript he added that his lawyer would provide her +with any sums of money she might require for all her expenses.</p> + + +<h3>III</h3> + +<p>It was at the Opéra, between two of the acts in <i>Robert the Devil</i>. In +the stalls, the men were standing up, with their hats on, their +waistcoats cut very low so as to show a large amount of white shirt +front, in which the gold and precious stones of their studs glistened, +and were looking at the boxes full of ladies in low dresses, covered +with diamonds and pearls, and who were expanding like flowers in that +illuminated hothouse, where the beauty of the faces and the whiteness of +their shoulders seemed to bloom in order to be looked at, in the midst +of the music and of human voices.</p> + +<p>Two friends, with their backs to the orchestra were scanning those rows +of elegance, that exhibition of real or false charms, of jewels, of +luxury and of pretensions which showed itself off all round the +Grand-Théâtre, and one of them Roger de Salnis, said to his companion, +Bernard Grandin: "Just look how beautiful Countess de Mascaret still +is."</p> + +<p>Then the older, in turn, looked through his opera glasses at a tall lady +in a box opposite, who appeared to be still very young, and whose +striking beauty seemed to appeal to the eyes in every corner of the +house. Her pale complexion, of an ivory tint, gave her the appearance +of a statue, while a small, diamond coronet glistened on her black hair +like a milky way.</p> + +<p>When he had looked at her for some time, Bernard Grandin replied with a +jocular accent of sincere conviction: "You may well call her beautiful." +"How old do you think she is?" "Wait a moment. I can tell you exactly, +for I have known her since she was a child, and I saw her make her +<i>debut</i> into society when she was quite a girl. She is ... she is ... +thirty ... thirty-six." "Impossible!" "I am sure of it." "She looks +twenty-five." "She has had seven children." "It is incredible." "And +what is more, they are all seven alive, as she is a very good mother. I +go to the house, which is a very quiet and pleasant one, occasionally, +and she realizes the phenomenon of the family in the midst of the +world." "How very strange! And have there never been any reports about +her?" "Never." "But what about her husband? He is peculiar, is he not?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, and no. Very likely there has been a little drama between them, +one of those little domestic dramas which one suspects, which one never +finds out exactly, but which one guesses pretty nearly." "What is it?" +"I do not know anything about it. Mascaret leads a very fast life now, +after having been a model husband. As long as he remained a good spouse, +he had a shocking temper and was crabbed and easily took offense, but +since he has been leading his present, rackety life, he has become quite +indifferent; but one would guess that he has some trouble, a worm +gnawing somewhere, for he has aged very much."</p> + +<p>Thereupon the two friends talked philosophically for some minutes about +the secret, unknowable troubles, which differences of character or +perhaps physical antipathies, which were not perceived at first, give +rise to in families, and then Roger de Salnis, who was still looking at +Madame de Mascaret through his opera-glasses, said: "It is almost +incredible that that woman has had seven children!" "Yes, in eleven +years; after which, when she was thirty, she put a stop to her period of +production in order to enter into the brilliant period of +representation, which does not seem near coming to an end." "Poor +women!" "Why do you pity them?"</p> + +<p>"Why? Ah! my dear fellow, just consider! eleven years of pregnancy, for +such a woman! What a hell! All her youth, all her beauty, every hope of +success, every poetical ideal of a bright life, sacrificed to that +abominable law of reproduction which turns the normal woman into a mere +machine for reproduction." "What would you have? It is only nature!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, but I say that nature is our enemy, that we must always fight +against nature, for she is continually bringing us back to an animal +state. You may be sure that God has not put anything onto this earth +that is clean, pretty, elegant, or accessory to our ideal, but the human +brain has done it. It is we who have introduced a little grace, beauty, +unknown charm and mystery into creation by singing about it, +interpreting it, by admiring it as poets, idealizing it as artists, and +by explaining it as learned men who make mistakes, but who find +ingenious reasons, some grace and beauty, some unknown charm and mystery +in the various phenomena of nature. God only created coarse beings, full +of the germs of disease, and who, after a few years of bestial +enjoyment, grow old and infirm, with all the ugliness and all the want +of power of human decrepitude. He only seems to have made them in order +that they may reproduce their species in a dirty manner, and then die +like ephemeral insects. I said, <i>reproduce their species in a dirty +manner</i>, and I adhere to that expression. What is there, as a matter of +fact, more ignoble and more repugnant than that filthy and ridiculous +act of the reproduction of living beings, against which all delicate +minds always have revolted, and always will revolt? Since all the organs +which have been invented by this economical and malicious Creator serve +two purposes, why did he not choose others that were not dirty and +sullied, in order to entrust them with that sacred mission, which is the +noblest and the most exalted of all human functions? The mouth, which +nourishes the body by means of material food, also diffuses abroad +speech and thought. Our flesh revives itself by means of itself, and at +the same time, ideas are communicated by it. The sense of smell, which +gives the vital air to the lungs, imparts all the perfumes of the world +to the brain: the smell of flowers, of woods, of trees, of the sea. The +ear, which enables us to communicate with our fellow men, has also +allowed us to invent music, to create dreams, happiness, the infinite +and even physical pleasure, by means of sounds! But one might say that +the cynical and cunning Creator wished to prohibit man from ever +ennobling and idealizing his commerce with women. Nevertheless, man has +found love, which is not a bad reply to that sly Deity, and he has +ornamented it so much with literary poetry, that woman often forgets the +contact she is obliged to submit to. Those among us who are powerless to +deceive themselves, have invented vice and refined debauchery, which is +another way of laughing at God, and of paying homage, immodest homage, +to beauty.</p> + +<p>"But the normal man makes children; just a beast that is coupled with +another by law.</p> + +<p>"Look at that woman! Is it not abominable to think that such a jewel, +such a pearl, born to be beautiful, admired, fêted and adored, has spent +eleven years of her life in providing heirs for the Count de Mascaret?"</p> + +<p>Bernard Grandin replied with a laugh: "There is a great deal of truth in +all that, but very few people would understand you."</p> + +<p>Salnis got more and more animated. "Do you know how I picture God +myself?" he said. "As am enormous creative organ, unknown to us, who +scatters millions of worlds into space, just as one single fish would +deposit its spawn in the sea. He creates, because it is His function as +God to do so, but He does not know what He is doing, and is stupidly +prolific in His work, and is ignorant of the combinations of all kinds +which are produced by his scattered germs. Human thought is a lucky +little local, passing accident, which was totally unforeseen and +condemned to disappear with this earth, and to recommence perhaps here +or elsewhere, the same or different, with fresh combinations of +eternally new beginnings. We owe it to this slight accident which has +happened to His intellect, that we are very uncomfortable in this world, +which was not made for us, which had not been prepared to receive us, to +lodge and feed us or to satisfy reflecting beings, and we owe it to Him +also that we have to struggle without ceasing against what are still +called the designs of Providence, when we are really refined and +civilized beings."</p> + +<p>Grandin, who was listening to him attentively, as he had long known the +surprising outbursts of his fancy, asked him: "Then you believe that +human thought is the spontaneous product of blind, divine parturition?" +"Naturally? A fortuitous function of the nerve-centers of our brain, +like some unforeseen chemical action which is due to new mixtures, and +which also resemble a product of electricity, caused by friction, or the +unexpected proximity of some substance, which lastly resemble the +phenomena caused by the infinite and fruitful fermentations of living +matter.</p> + +<p>"But, my dear fellow, the truth of this must be evident to any one who +looks about him. If human thought, ordained by an omniscient Creator, +had been intended to be what it has become, altogether different from +mechanical thoughts and resignation, so exacting, inquiring, agitated, +tormented, would the world which was created to receive the beings which +we now are, have been this unpleasant little dwelling place for poor +fools, this salad plot, this rocky wooded and spherical kitchen garden +where your improvident Providence had destined us to live naked, in +caves or under trees, nourished on the flesh of slaughtered animals, our +brethren, or on raw vegetables nourished by the sun and the rain?</p> + +<p>"But it is sufficient to reflect for a moment, in order to understand +that this world was not made for such creatures as we are. Thought, +which is developed by a miracle in the nerves of the cells in our brain, +powerless, ignorant and confused as it is, and as it will always remain, +makes all of us, who are intellectual beings, eternal and wretched +exiles on earth.</p> + +<p>"Look at this earth, as God has given it to those who inhabit it. Is it +not visibly and solely made, planted and covered with forests, for the +sake of animals? What is there for us? Nothing. And for them, +everything, and they have nothing to do but to eat, or go hunting and +eat each other, according to their instincts, for God never foresaw +gentleness and peaceable manners; He only foresaw the death of creatures +which were bent on destroying and devouring each other. Are not the +quail, the pigeon and the partridge the natural prey of the hawk? the +sheep, the stag and the ox that of the great flesh-eating animals, +rather than meat that has been fattened to be served up to us with +truffles, which have been unearthed by pigs, for our special benefit?</p> + +<p>"As to ourselves, the more civilized, intellectual and refined we are, +the more we ought to conquer and subdue that animal instinct, which +represents the will of God in us. And so, in order to mitigate our lot +as brutes, we have discovered and made everything, beginning with +houses, then exquisite food, sauces, sweetmeats, pastry, drink, stuffs, +clothes, ornaments, beds, mattresses, carriages, railways, and +innumerable machines, besides arts and sciences, writing and poetry. +Every ideal comes from us and all the amenities of life, in order to +make our existence as simple reproducers, for which divine Providence +solely intended us, less monotonous and less hard.</p> + +<p>"Look at this theater. Is there not here a human world created by us, +unforeseen and unknown by Eternal destinies, comprehensible by our minds +alone, a sensual and intellectual distraction, which has been invented +solely by and for that discontented and restless little animal that we +are.</p> + +<p>"Look at that woman, Madame de Mascaret. God intended her to live in a +cave naked, or wrapped up in the skins of wild animals, but is she not +better as she is? But, speaking of her, does anyone know why and how her +brute of a husband, having such a companion by his side, and especially +after having been boorish enough to make her a mother seven times, has +suddenly left her, to run after bad women?"</p> + +<p>Grandin replied: "Oh! my dear fellow, this is probably the only reason. +He found that always sleeping with her was becoming too expensive in the +end, and from reasons of domestic economy, he has arrived at the same +principles which you lay down as a philosopher."</p> + +<p>Just then the curtain rose for the third act, and they turned round, +took off their hats, and sat down.</p> + + +<h3>IV</h3> + +<p>The Count and Countess Mascaret were sitting side by side in the +carriage which was taking them home from the opera, without speaking. +But suddenly the husband said to his wife: "Gabrielle!" "What do you +want?" "Don't you think that this has lasted long enough?" "What?" "The +horrible punishment to which you have condemned me for the last six +years." "What do you want? I cannot help it." "Then tell me which of +them it is!" "Never!" "Think that I can no longer see my children or +feel them round me, without having my heart burdened with this doubt. +Tell me which of them it is, and I swear that I will forgive you, and +treat it like the others." "I have not the right to." "You do not see +that I can no longer endure this life, this thought which is wearing me +out, or this question which I am constantly asking myself, this question +which tortures me each time I look at them. It is driving me mad."</p> + +<p>"Then you have suffered a great deal?" she said.</p> + +<p>"Terribly. Should I, without that, have accepted the horror of living by +your side, and the still greater horror of feeling and knowing that +there is one among them whom I cannot recognize, and who prevents me +from loving the others." She repeated: "Then you have really suffered +very much?" And he replied in a constrained and sorrowful voice:</p> + +<p>"Yes, for do I not tell you every day that it is intolerable torture for +me? Should I have remained in that house, near you and them, if I did +not love them? Oh! You have behaved abominably towards me. All the +affection of my heart I have bestowed upon my children, and that you +know. I am for them a father of the olden time, as I was for you a +husband of one of the families of old, for by instinct I have remained a +natural man, a man of former days. Yes, I will confess it, you have made +me terribly jealous, because you are a woman of another race, of another +soul, with other requirements. Oh! I shall never forget the things that +you told me, but from that day, I troubled myself no more about you. I +did not kill you, because then I should have had no means on earth of +ever discovering which of our ... of your children is not mine. I have +waited, but I have suffered more than you would believe, for I can no +longer venture to love them, except, perhaps, the two eldest; I no +longer venture to look at them, to call them to me, to kiss them; I +cannot take them onto my knee without asking myself: 'Can it be this +one?' I have been correct in my behavior towards you for six years, and +even kind and complaisant; tell me the truth, and I swear that I will do +nothing unkind."</p> + +<p>He thought, in spite of the darkness of the carriage, that he could +perceive that she was moved, and feeling certain that she was going to +speak at last, he said: "I beg you, I beseech you to tell me...." "I +have been more guilty than you think, perhaps," she replied; "but I +could no longer endure that life of continual pregnancy, and I had only +one means of driving you from my bed. I lied before God, and I lied, +with my hand raised to my children's head, for I have never wronged +you."</p> + +<p>He seized her arm in the darkness, and squeezing it as he had done on +that terrible day of their drive in the Bois de Boulogne, he stammered: +"Is that true?" "It is true." But he, in terrible grief, said with a +groan: "I shall have fresh doubts that will never end! When did you lie, +the last time or now? How am I to believe you at present? How can one +believe a woman after that? I shall never again know what I am to think. +I would rather you had said to me: 'It is Jacques, or, it is Jeanne.'"</p> + +<p>The carriage drove them into the courtyard of their mansion, and when it +had drawn up in front of the steps, the Count got down first, as usual, +and offered his wife his arm, to help her up. And then, as soon as they +had reached the first floor, he said: "Can I speak to you for a few +moments longer?" And she replied: "I am quite willing."</p> + +<p>They went into a small drawing-room, while a footman in some surprise, +lit the wax candles. As soon as he had left the room and they were +alone, he continued: "How am I to know the truth? I have begged you a +thousand times to speak, but you have remained dumb, impenetrable, +inflexible, inexorable, and now to-day, you tell me that you have been +lying. For six years you have actually allowed me to believe such a +thing! No, you are lying now; I do not know why, but out of pity for me, +perhaps!"</p> + +<p>She replied in a sincere and convincing manner: "If I had not done so, I +should have had four more children in the last six years!" And he +exclaimed: "Can a mother speak like that?" "Oh!" she replied, "I do not +at all feel that I am the mother of children who have never been born. +It is enough for me to be the mother of those that I have, and to love +them with all my heart. I am, we are women who belong to the civilized +world, Monsieur, and we are no longer, and we refuse to be, mere females +who restock the earth."</p> + +<p>She got up, but he seized her hands. "Only one word, Gabrielle. Tell me +the truth!" "I have just told you. I have never dishonored you."</p> + +<p>He looked her full in the face, and how beautiful she was, with her gray +eyes, like the cold sky. In her dark hair dress, on that opaque night of +black hair, there shone the diamond coronet, like a milky way. Then he +suddenly felt, felt by a kind of intuition, that this grand creature was +not merely a being destined to perpetuate his race, but the strange and +mysterious product of all our complicated desires which have been +accumulating in us for centuries, but which have been turned aside from +their primitive and divine object, and which have wandered after a +mystic, imperfectly seen and intangible beauty. There are some women +like that, who blossom only for our dreams, adorned with every poetical +attribute of civilization, with that ideal luxury, coquetry and +aesthetic charm which surrounds woman, that living statue who brightens +our life, like sensual fevers and immaterial appetites.</p> + +<p>Her husband remained standing before her, stupefied at that tardy and +obscure discovery, confusedly hitting on the cause of his former +jealousy, and understanding it all very imperfectly; and at last he +said: "I believe you, for I feel at this moment that you are not lying, +and formerly, I really thought that you were." She put out her hand to +him: "We are friends, then?" He took her hand and kissed it, and +replied: "We are friends. Thank you, Gabrielle."</p> + +<p>Then he went out, still looking at her, and surprised that she was still +so beautiful, and feeling a strange emotion arising in him, which was, +perhaps, more formidable than antique and simple love.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="FLY" id="FLY"></a>FLY</h2> + +<h3>RECOLLECTIONS OF A BOATMAN</h3> + + +<p>He said to us: "I saw some very funny things and some funny girls when I +was a boatman, and I have often been tempted to write a little book to +be called <i>On the Seine</i>, telling all about that careless and vigorous, +that merry and poor life, a life of robust and noisy enjoyment, which I +led from the time I was twenty until I was thirty.</p> + +<p>"I was a mere understrapper without a half-penny, and now I am a man who +has made his money, who has spent large sums on a momentary caprice. In +my heart, I had a thousand modest and unrealizable desires which gilded +my existence with imaginary hopes, though now, I really do not know that +any fancy would make me get out of my armchair where I am dozing. How +simple and nice and good it is to live like this, between my office in +Paris, and the river at Argenteuil. For ten years, the Seine was my +only, my absorbing passion. Ah! that beautiful, calm, diversified and +stinking river, full of mirage and filth. I think I loved it so much +because it seemed to give me a sense of life. Oh! what walks I had along +the grassy banks, where my friends the frogs were dreaming on the leaf +of a nenuphar, and where the coquettish and delicate water lilies +suddenly opened to me, behind a willow, a leaf of a Japanese album, and +when the kingfisher flashed past me like a blue flame! How I loved it +all, with the instinctive love of eyes which seemed to be all over my +body, and with a natural and profound joy.</p> + +<p>"Just as other men keep the recollection of sweet and tender nights, so I +remember sunrises in the morning mist, floating, wandering vapors, which +were as pale as death, before the sun rose, and then as its first rays +glided over the meadows, lighted up with a rosy tint, which delighted +the heart. And then again, I have recollections of the moon silvering +the running, trembling water, with a brightness which made dreams +flourish. And all this, the symbol of eternal illusions, rose up in me +on that turbid water, which was carrying all the filth of Paris towards +the sea.</p> + +<p>"And then, what a merry life it was, with my companions. There were five +of us, a band of grave men we are now; and as we were all poor, we had +founded an inexpressible colony in a horrible eating house at +Argenteuil, and which possessed only one bedroom, where I have +certainly spent some of the maddest nights of my life. We cared for +nothing except for amusing ourselves and rowing, for we all worshiped +the oar, with one exception. I remember such singular adventures, such +unlikely tricks invented by those five rascals, that no one would +believe them at present. People do not live like that any longer, even +on the Seine, for our mad fancies which we kept up, have died out now.</p> + +<p>"We five only possessed one boat, which we had bought with great +difficulty, and on which we laughed, as we shall never laugh again. It +was a large yawl, called <i>The Leaf Turned Upside Down</i>, rather heavy, +but spacious and comfortable. I shall not describe my companions to you. +There was one little fellow, called <i>Petit Bleu</i>, who was very sharp; a +tall man, with a savage look, gray eyes and black hair, who was +nick-named <i>Tomahawk</i>, the only one who never touched an oar, as he said +he should upset the boat; a slender, elegant man, who was very careful +about his person, and whom we called <i>Only-One-Eye</i>, in remembrance of a +recent story about Cladel, and because he wore a single eyeglass, and, +lastly, I, who had been baptized Joseph Prunier. We lived together in +perfect harmony, and our only regret was that we had no boatwoman, for a +woman's presence is almost indispensable on a boat, because it keeps the +men's wits and hearts on the alert, because it animates them, and wakes +them up and she looks well walking on the green banks with a red +parasol. But we did not want an ordinary boatwoman for us five, for we +were not very like the rest of the world. We wanted something +unexpected, funny, ready for everything, something, in short, which it +would be almost impossible to find. We had tried many without success, +girls who had held the tiller, imbecile boatwomen who always preferred +wine that intoxicates to water which flows and carries the yawls. We +kept them for one Sunday, and then got rid of them in disgust.</p> + +<p>"Well, one Saturday afternoon, Only-One-Eye brought us a little thin, +lively, jumping, chattering girl, full of drollery, of that drollery +which is the substitute for wit among the youthful male and female +workpeople who have developed in the streets of Paris. She was nice +looking without being pretty, the outline of a woman who had some of +everything, one of those silhouettes which draftsmen draw in three +strokes on the table in a café after dinner, between a glass of brandy +and a cigarette. Nature is like that, sometimes.</p> + +<p>"The first evening she surprised us, amused us, and we could not form +any opinion about her, so unexpectedly had she come among us; but having +fallen into this nest of men, who were all ready for any folly, she was +soon mistress of the situation, and the very next day she made a +conquest of each one of us. She was quite cracked, into the bargain, and +must have been born with a glass of absinthe in her stomach, which her +mother drank at the moment she was being delivered, and she never got +sober since, for her wet nurse, so she said, recruited her strength with +draughts of rum, and she never called the bottles which were standing in +a line at the back of the wine merchant's shop anything but 'My holy +family.'</p> + +<p>"I do not know which of us gave her the name of <i>Fly</i>, nor why it was +given her, but it suited her very well, and stuck to her, and our yawl +every week carried five merry, strong young fellows on the Seine between +Asnières and Maison Lafitte, who were ruled from under a parasol of +colored paper, by a lively and madcap young person, who treated us like +slaves whose business it was to row her about, and whom we were all very +fond of.</p> + +<p>"We were all very fond of her, for a thousand reasons first of all, but +for only one, afterwards. In the stern of our boat, she was a kind of +small word mill, chattering to the wind which blew on the water. She +chattered ceaselessly, with that slight, continuous noise of those +pieces of winged mechanism which turn in the breeze, and she +thoughtlessly said the most unexpected, the funniest, the most +astonishing things. In that mind, all the parts of which seemed +dissimilar, like rags of all kinds and of every color, not sewn, but +merely tacked together, there appeared to be as much imagination as in +a fairy tale, a good deal of coarseness, indecency, impudence and of the +unexpected, and as much breeziness and landscapes as in a balloon +voyage.</p> + +<p>"We put questions to her, in order to call forth answers which she had +found, no one could tell where, and the one with which we teased her +most frequently was: 'Why are you called Fly?' And she gave us such +unlikely reasons that we left off rowing, in order to laugh. But she +pleased us also as a woman; and La Toque, who never rowed, and who sat +by her side at the tiller the whole day long, once replied to the usual +question: 'Why are you called Fly?' 'Because she is a little Spanish +fly.'</p> + +<p>"Yes, a little buzzing, exciting fly, not the classical, poisonous, +brilliant and mantled Spanish fly, but a little Spanish fly with red +wings, which began to disturb the whole crew of <i>The Leaf Turned Upside +Down</i>. And what stupid jokes were also made about this leaf where this +fly had alighted!</p> + +<p>"Since the arrival of Fly on our boat, Only-One-Eye had taken a leading, +superior part among us, the part of a gentleman who has a wife, towards +four others who have not got one, and he abused that privilege so far as +to kiss Fly in our presence, when he put her on his knee after meals, +and by other prerogatives, which were as humiliating as they were +irritating.</p> + +<p>"They had been isolated in the sleeping-room by means of a curtain, but I +soon perceived that my companions and I had the same arguments in our +minds, in our solitude: 'Why, and in virtue of what law of exception, or +of what unacceptable principle, should Fly, who does not appear +troubled by any prejudices, remain faithful to her lover, while wives in +the best are not faithful to their husbands.'</p> + +<p>"Our reflections were quite right, and we were soon convinced of it, and +we ought only to have made them sooner, so as not to have needed to +regret any lost time, for Fly deceived Only-One-Eye, with all the others +of the crew of the <i>Leaf Turned Upside Down</i>, and she deceived him +without making any difficulties, without any resistance, the first time +any of us asked her.</p> + +<p>"Of course, modest people will be terribly shocked! But why? What +courtesan who happens to be in the fashion, but has a dozen lovers, and +which of those lovers is stupid enough not to know it? Is it not the +correct thing to have an evening at the house of a celebrated and marked +courtesan, just as one has an evening at the <i>Opéra, the Théâtre +Français or the Odeon</i>? Ten men subscribe together to keep a mistress +just as they do to possess a race horse, which only one jockey mounts, +and this is a correct picture of the favored lover who does not pay +anything.</p> + +<p>"From delicacy they left Fly to Only-One-Eye from Saturday night to +Monday morning, and we only deceived him during the week, in Paris, from +the Seine, which, for boatmen like us, was hardly deceiving him at all. +The situation had this peculiarity, that the four freebooters of Fly's +favors were quite aware of this partition of her among themselves, and +that they spoke of it to each other, and even then, with allusions that +made her laugh very much. Only-One-Eye alone seemed to know nothing, and +that peculiar position gave rise to some embarrassment between him and +us, and seemed to separate him from us, to isolate him, to raise a +barrier across our former confidence and our former intimacy. That gave +him a difficult and a rather ridiculous part to play towards us, the +part of a deceived lover, almost a husband's part.</p> + +<p>"As he was very clever and gifted with the special faculty of not showing +what he felt, we sometimes asked each other whether he did not guess +anything, and he took care to let us know, in a manner that was painful +for us. We were going to breakfast at Bougival, and we were rowing +vigorously, when La Toque, who had, that morning, the triumphant look of +a man who was satisfied, and who, sitting by the steers-woman, seemed to +squeeze himself rather too close to her, in our estimation, stopped the +rowing by calling out: 'Stop!'</p> + +<p>"The four oars were drawn out of the water, and then, turning to his +neighbor, he said to her: 'Why were you called Fly?' But before she +could reply, the voice of Only-One-Eye, who was sitting in the bows, +said dryly: 'Because she settles on all the carrion.'</p> + +<p>"There was a dead silence, and an embarrassed pause, which was followed +by an inclination to laugh, while Fly herself looked very much confused, +and La Toque gave the order: 'Row on, all;' and the boat started again. +The incident was closed, and light let in upon the subject, and that +little adventure made no difference in our habits, but it only +re-established cordiality between Only-One-Eye and us. He once more +became the honored proprietor of the Fly from Saturday night until +Monday morning, as his superiority over all of us had been thoroughly +established by that definition, which, moreover, closed one of the +questions about the word Fly. For the future we were satisfied with +playing the secondary part of grateful and polite friends who profited +discreetly by the week days, without any contention of any kind among +ourselves.</p> + +<p>"That answered very well for about three months, but then suddenly Fly +assumed a strange attitude towards us. She was less merry, nervous, +uneasy, and almost irritable, and we frequently asked her: 'What is the +matter with you?' And she replied: 'Nothing; leave me alone.'</p> + +<p>"Only-One-Eye told us what was the matter with her, one Saturday evening. +We had just sat down to table in the little dining-room which our eating +house keeper, Barbichon, reserved for us at his inn, and, the soup being +finished, we were waiting for the fried fish, when our friend, who also +appeared thoughtful, took Fly's hand and said: 'My dear comrades, I have +a very grave communication to make to you, and one that may, perhaps, +give rise to a prolonged discussion, but we shall have to argue between +the courses. Poor Fly has announced a piece of disastrous news to me, +and at the same time has asked me to tell it to you: She is pregnant, +and I will only add two words. This is not the moment to abandon her, +and it is forbidden to try and find out who is the father.'<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + +<p>"At first we were stupefied, and felt as if some disaster had befallen +us, and we looked at each other with the longing to accuse some one, but +whom? Oh! Which of us? I have never felt as I did at that moment, the +perfidy of that cruel joke of nature, which never allows a man to know +for certainty whether he is the father of his child. Then, however, by +degrees a sort of feeling of consolation came over us and gave us +comfort, which sprung from a confused idea of joint responsibility.</p> + +<p>"Tomahawk, who spoke but little, formulated a beginning of reassurance by +these words: 'Well, so much the worse, by Jove: <i>Union is Strength</i>, +however.' At that moment a scullion brought in the fried gudgeons, but +they did not fall to on them like they generally did, for they all had +the same trouble on their mind, and Only-One-Eye continued: 'Under these +circumstances she has had the delicacy to confess everything to me. My +friends, we are all equally guilty, so let us shake hands and adopt the +child.'</p> + +<p>"That was decided upon unanimously; they raised their hands to the dish +of fried fish and swore: 'We will adopt it.' Then, when she was thus +suddenly saved, and delivered from the weight of the terrible anxiety +that had been tormenting her for a month, this pretty, crazy, poor child +of love, Fly, exclaimed: 'Oh! my friends! my friends! You have kind, +good hearts ... good hearts.... Thank you, all of you!' And she shed +tears for the first time before us all.</p> + +<p>"From that time we spoke in the boat about the child, as if it were +already born, and each of us took an exaggerated interest, because of +our share in the matter, in the slow and regular development of our +mistress's waist, and we stopped rowing in order to say: 'Fly?' 'Here I +am,' she replied. 'Boy or girl?' 'Boy.' 'What will he be when he grows +up?'</p> + +<p>"Then she indulged in the most fantastic flights of fancy. They were +interminable stories, astounding inventions, from the day of his birth +until his final triumph. In the unsophisticated, passionate and moving +fancy of this extraordinary little creature, who now lived chastely in +the midst of us five, whom she called 'her five papas.' She saw him as a +sailor, and told us that he would discover another America; as a +general, restoring Alsace and Lorraine to France, then as an emperor, +founding a dynasty of wise and generous rulers who would bestow settled +welfare on our country; then as a learned man and natural philosopher, +revealing, first of all, the secret of the manufacture of gold, then +that of living forever; then as an aeronaut, who invented the means of +soaring up to the stars, and of making the skies an immense promenade +for men; the realization of the most unforeseen and magnificent dreams.</p> + +<p>"How nice and how amusing she was, poor little girl, until the end of the +summer, but the twentieth of September dissipated her dream. We had come +back from breakfasting at the Maison Lafitte and were passing +Saint-Germain, when she felt thirsty and asked us to stop at Pecq.</p> + +<p>"For some time past, she had been getting very heavy, and that +inconvenienced her very much. She could not run about as she used to do, +nor jump from the boat to the shore, as she had formerly done. She would +try, in spite of our warnings and efforts to stop her, and she would +have fallen a dozen times, had it not been that our restraining arms +kept her back. On that day, she was imprudent enough to wish to land +before the boat had stopped; it was one of those pieces of bravado by +which athletes, who are ill or tired, sometimes kill themselves, and at +the very moment when we were going to come alongside, she got up, took a +spring and tried to jump onto the landing-stage. She was not strong +enough, however, and only just touched the stones with her foot, struck +the sharp angle with her stomach, uttered a cry and disappeared into the +water.</p> + +<p>"We all five plunged in at the same moment, and pulled out the poor, +fainting woman, who was as pale as death, and was already suffering +terrible pain, and we carried her as quickly as possible to the nearest +inn, and sent for a medical man. For the six hours that her miscarriage +lasted, she suffered the most terrible pain with the courage of a +heroine, while we were grieving round her, feverish with anxiety and +fear. Then she was delivered of a dead child, and for some days we were +in the greatest fear for her life; at last, however, the doctor said to +us one morning: 'I think her life is saved. That girl is made of steel,' +and we all of us went into her room, with radiant hearts, and +Only-One-Eye, as spokesman for us all, said to her: 'The danger is all +over, little Fly, and we are all happy again.'</p> + +<p>"Then, for the second time, she wept in our presence, and, with her eyes +full of tears, she said, hesitatingly:</p> + +<p>"'Oh! If you only knew, if you only knew ... what a grief it is ... what +a grief it is to me ... I shall never get over it.' 'Over what, little +Fly?' 'Over having killed it, for I did kill it! Oh! Without intending +to! Oh! how grieved I am!...'</p> + +<p>"She was sobbing, and we stood round, deeply touched, but without knowing +what to say, and she went on: 'Have you seen it?' And we replied with +one voice: 'Yes.' 'It was a boy, was it not?' 'Yes.' 'Beautiful, was it +not?' We hesitated a good deal, but Petit-Bleu, who was less scrupulous +than the rest of us, made up his mind to affirm it, and said: 'Very +beautiful.'</p> + +<p>"He committed a mistake, however, for she began to sob, and almost to +scream with grief, and Only-One-Eye, who perhaps loved her more than the +rest of us did, had a happy thought. Kissing her eyes, that were dimmed +with tears, he said: 'Console yourself, little Fly, console yourself; we +will make another for you.'</p> + +<p>"Her innate sense of the ridiculous was suddenly excited, and +half-convinced, and half-joking, still tearful and her heart sore with +grief, she said, looking at us all: 'Do you really mean it?' And we +replied all at once:</p> + +<p>"'We really mean it.'"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_MAD_WOMAN" id="THE_MAD_WOMAN"></a>THE MAD WOMAN</h2> + + +<p>"I can tell you a terrible story about the Franco-Prussian war," +Monsieur d'Endolin said to some friends assembled in the smoking-room of +Baron de Ravot's château. "You know my house in the Faubourg de Cormeil. +I was living there when the Prussians came, and I had for a neighbor a +kind of a mad woman, who had lost her senses in consequence of a series +of misfortunes, as at the age of seven and twenty she had lost her +father, her husband and her newly born child, all in the space of a +month.</p> + +<p>"When death has once entered into a house, it almost invariably returns +immediately, as if it knew the way, and the young woman, overwhelmed +with grief, took to her bed and was delirious for six weeks. Then, a +species of calm lassitude succeeded that violent crisis, and she +remained motionless, eating next to nothing, and only moving her eyes. +Every time they tried to make her get up, she screamed as if they were +about to kill her, and so they ended by leaving her continually in bed, +and only taking her out to wash her, to change her linen and to turn her +mattress.</p> + +<p>"An old servant remained with her, who gave her something to drink, or +a little cold meat, from time to time. What passed in that despairing +mind? No one ever knew, for she did not speak at all now. Was she +thinking of the dead? Was she dreaming sadly, without any precise +recollection of anything that had happened? Or was her memory as +stagnant as water without any current? But however this may have been, +for fifteen years she remained thus inert and secluded.</p> + +<p>"The war broke out, and in the beginning of December the Germans came to +Cormeil. I can remember it as if it were but yesterday. It was freezing +hard enough to split the stones, and I, myself, was lying back in an +armchair, being unable to move on account of the gout, when I heard +their heavy and regular tread; I could see them pass, from my window.</p> + +<p>"They defiled past interminably, with that peculiar motion of a puppet on +wires, which belongs to them. Then the officers billeted their men on +the inhabitants, and I had seventeen of them. My neighbor, the crazy +woman, had a dozen, one of whom was the Commandant, a regular violent, +surly swashbuckler.</p> + +<p>"During the first few days everything went on as usual. The officers next +door had been told that the lady was ill, and they did not trouble +themselves about that in the least, but soon, that woman whom they never +saw, irritated them. They asked what her illness was, and were told that +she had been in bed for fifteen years, in consequence of terrible grief. +No doubt they did not believe it, and thought that the poor mad creature +would not leave her bed out of pride, so that she might not come near +the Prussians, not speak to them, nor even see them.</p> + +<p>"He insisted upon her receiving him, and he was shown into the room, and +said to her roughly: 'I must beg you to get up, Madame, and to come +downstairs so that we may all see you,' but she merely turned her vague +eyes on him, without replying, and so he continued: 'I do not intend to +tolerate any insolence, and if you do not get up of your own accord, I +can easily find means to make you walk without any assistance.'</p> + +<p>"But she did not give any signs of having heard him, and remained quite +motionless, and then he got furious, as he took that calm silence for a +mark of supreme contempt, and so he added: 'If you do not come +downstairs to-morrow....' And then he left the room."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>"The next day the terrified old servant wished to dress her, but the mad +woman began to scream violently, and resisted with all her might. The +officer ran upstairs quickly, and the servant threw herself at his feet +and cried: 'She will not come down, Monsieur, she will not. Forgive her, +for she is so unhappy.'</p> + +<p>"The soldier was embarrassed, as in spite of his anger, he did not +venture to order his soldiers to drag her out, but suddenly he began to +laugh, and gave some orders in German, and soon a party of soldiers was +seen coming out supporting a mattress as if they were carrying a wounded +man. On that bed, which had not been unmade, the mad woman, who was +still silent, was lying quite quietly, for she was quite indifferent to +anything that went on, as long as they let her lie. Behind her, a +soldier was carrying a parcel of feminine attire, and the officer said, +rubbing his hands: 'We will just see whether you cannot dress yourself +alone, and take a little walk.'</p> + +<p>"And then the procession went off in the direction of the forest of +Imauville; in two hours the soldiers came back alone, and nothing more +was seen of the mad woman. What had they done with her? Where had they +taken her to? No one knew.</p> + +<p>"The snow was falling day and night, and enveloped the plain and the +woods in a shroud of frozen foam, and the wolves came and howled at our +very doors.</p> + +<p>"The thought of that poor lost woman haunted me, and I made several +applications to the Prussian authorities in order to obtain some +information, and was nearly shot for doing so. When spring returned, the +army of occupation withdrew, but my neighbor's house remained closed; +the grass grew thick in the garden walks. The old servant had died +during the winter, and nobody troubled himself any longer about the +occurrence; I alone thought about it constantly. What had they done with +the woman? Had she escaped through the forest? Had somebody found her, +and taken her to a hospital, without being able to obtain any +information from her? Nothing happened to relieve my doubts; but, by +degrees, time assuaged my fears.</p> + +<p>"Well, in the following autumn the woodcock were very plentiful, and as +my gout had left me for a time, I dragged myself as far as the forest. I +had already killed four or five of the long-billed birds, when I knocked +over one, which fell into a ditch full of branches, and I was obliged to +get into it, in order to pick it up, and I found that it had fallen +close to a dead human body, and immediately the recollection of the mad +woman struck me, like a blow in the chest. Many other people had perhaps +died in the wood during that disastrous year, but I do not know why, yet +I was sure, sure, I tell you, that I should see the head of that +wretched maniac.</p> + +<p>"And suddenly I understood, I guessed everything. They had abandoned her +on that mattress in the cold, deserted wood; and, faithful to her fixed +idea, she had allowed herself to perish under that thick and light +counterpane of snow, without moving either arms or legs.</p> + +<p>"Then the wolves had devoured her, and the birds had built their nests +with the wool from her torn bed, and I took charge of her remains, and I +only pray that our sons may never see any wars again."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THAT_PIG_OF_A_MORIN" id="THAT_PIG_OF_A_MORIN"></a>THAT PIG OF A MORIN</h2> + + +<h3>I</h3> + +<p>"There, my friend," I said to Labarbe, "you have just repeated those +five words, <i>that pig of a Morin</i>. Why on earth do I never hear Morin's +name mentioned without his being called <i>a pig</i>?"</p> + +<p>Labarbe, who is a Deputy, looked at me with eyes like an owl's, and +said: "Do you mean to say that you do not know Morin's story, and you +come from La Rochelle?" I was obliged to declare that I did not know +Morin's story, and then Labarbe rubbed his hands, and began his recital.</p> + +<p>"You knew Morin, did you not, and you remember his large linen-draper's +shop on the <i>Quai de la Rochelle</i>?" "Yes, perfectly."</p> + +<p>"All right, then. You must know that in 1862 or 63 Morin went to spend a +fortnight in Paris for pleasure, or for his pleasures, but under the +pretext of renewing his stock, and you also know what a fortnight in +Paris means for a country shopkeeper: it makes his blood grow hot. The +theater every evening, women's dresses rustling up against you, and +continual excitement; one goes almost mad with it. One sees nothing but +dancers in skin-tights, actresses in very low dresses, round legs, fat +shoulders, all nearly within reach of one's hands, without daring or +being able, to touch it, and one scarcely tastes some inferior dish, +once or twice. And one leaves it, one's heart still all in a flutter, +and one's mind still exhilarated by a sort of longing for kisses which +tickles one's lips."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Morin was in that state when he took his ticket for La Rochelle by the +8:40 night express. And he was walking up and down the waiting-room at +the station, when he stopped suddenly in front of a young lady who was +kissing an old one. She had her veil up, and Morin murmured with +delight: "By Jove, what a pretty woman!"</p> + +<p>When she had said "Good-bye" to the old lady, she went into the +waiting-room, and Morin followed her; then she went onto the platform, +and Morin still followed her; then she got into an empty carriage, and +he again followed her. There were very few travelers by the express, the +engine whistled, and the train started. They were alone. Morin devoured +her with his eyes. She appeared to be about nineteen or twenty, and was +fair, tall and with bold looks. She wrapped a railway rug round her +legs, and stretched herself on the seat to sleep.</p> + +<p>Morin asked himself: "I wonder who she is?" And a thousand conjectures, +a thousand projects went through his head. He said to himself: "So many +adventures are told as happening on railway journeys that this may be +one that is going to present itself to me. Who knows? A piece of good +luck like that happens very quickly, and perhaps I need only be a little +venturesome. Was it not Danton who said: <i>Audacity, more audacity, and +always audacity</i>. If it was not Danton it was Mirabeau, but that does +not matter. But then, I have no audacity, and that is the difficulty. +Oh! If one only knew, if one could only read peoples' minds! I will bet +that every day one passes by magnificent opportunities without knowing +it, though a gesture would be enough to let me know that she did not ask +for anything better...."</p> + +<p>Then he imagined to himself combinations which conducted him to triumph. +He pictured some chivalrous deed, or merely some slight service which he +rendered her, a lively, gallant conversation which ended in ... in what +do you think.</p> + +<p>But he could find no opening; had no pretext, and he waited for some +fortunate circumstance, with his heart ravaged, and his mind +topsy-turvy. The night passed, and the pretty girl still slept, while +Morin was meditating his own fall. The day broke and soon the first ray +of sunlight appeared in the sky, a long, clear ray which shone on the +face of the sleeping girl, and woke her, so she sat up, looked at the +country, then at Morin and smiled. She smiled like a happy woman, with +an engaging and bright look, and Morin trembled. Certainly that smile +was intended for him, it was a discreet invitation, the signal which he +was waiting for. That smile meant to say: "How stupid, what a ninny, +what a dolt, what a donkey you are, to have sat there on your seat like +a post all night.</p> + +<p>"Just look at me, am I not charming? And you have sat like that for the +whole night, when you have been alone with a pretty woman, you great +simpleton!"</p> + +<p>She was still smiling as she looked at him, she even began to laugh; and +he lost his head, trying to find something suitable to say, no matter +what. But he could think of nothing, nothing, and then, seized with a +coward's courage, he said to himself: "So much the worse, I will risk +everything," and suddenly, without the slightest warning, he went +towards her, his arms extended, his lips protruding, and seizing her in +his arms, he kissed her.</p> + +<p>She sprang up with a bound, crying out: "<i>Help! Help!</i>" and screaming +with horror, and then she opened the carriage door, and waved her arm +out, mad with terror, and trying to jump out, while Morin, who was +almost distracted, and feeling sure that she would throw herself out, +held her by the skirt and stammered: "Oh! Madame!... Oh! Madame!"</p> + +<p>The train slackened speed, and then stopped. Two guards rushed up at the +young woman's frantic signals, who threw herself into their arms, +stammering: "That man wanted ... wanted ... to ... to ..." And then she +fainted.</p> + +<p>They were at Mauzé station, and the gendarme on duty arrested Morin. +When the victim of his brutality had regained her consciousness, she +made her charge against him, and the police drew it up. The poor +linen-draper did not reach home till night, with a prosecution hanging +over him, for an outrage to morals in a public place.</p> + + +<h3>II</h3> + +<p>At that time I was editor of the <i>Fanal des Charentes</i>, and I used to +meet Morin every day at the <i>Café du Commerce</i>, and the day after his +adventure he came to see me, as he did not know what to do. I did not +hide my opinion from him, but said to him: "You are no better than a +pig. No decent man behaves like that."</p> + +<p>He cried. His wife had given him a beating, and he foresaw his trade +ruined, his name dragged through the mire and dishonored, his friends +outraged and taking no more notice of him. In the end he excited my +pity, and I sent for my colleague Rivet, a bantering, but very sensible +little man, to give us his advice.</p> + +<p>He advised me to see the Public Prosecutor, who was a friend of mine, +and so I sent Morin home, and went to call on the magistrate. He told me +that the young woman who had been insulted was a young lady, +Mademoiselle Henriette Bonnel, who had just received her certificate as +governess in Paris, and spent her holidays with her uncle and aunt, who +were very respectable tradespeople in Mauzé, and what made Morin's case +all the more serious was, that the uncle had lodged a complaint; for the +public official had consented to let the matter drop if this complaint +were withdrawn, so we must try and get him to do this.</p> + +<p>I went back to Morin's and found him in bed, ill with excitement and +distress. His wife, a tall raw-boned woman with a beard, was abusing him +continually, and she showed me into the room, shouting at me: "So you +have come to see that pig of a Morin. Well, there he is, the darling!" +And she planted herself in front of the bed, with her hands on her hips. +I told him how matters stood, and he begged me to go and see her uncle +and aunt. It was a delicate mission, but I undertook it, and the poor +devil never ceased repeating: "I assure you I did not even kiss her, no, +not even that. I will take my oath to it!"</p> + +<p>I replied: "It is all the same; you are nothing but a pig." And I took a +thousand francs which he gave me, to employ them as I thought best, but +as I did not care venturing to her uncle's house alone, I begged Rivet +to go with me, which he agreed to do, on the condition that we went +immediately, for he had some urgent business at La Rochelle that +afternoon. So two hours later we rang at the door of a nice country +house. A pretty girl came and opened the door to us, who was assuredly +the young lady in question, and I said to Rivet in a low voice: +"Confound it! I begin to understand Morin!"</p> + +<p>The uncle, Monsieur Tonnelet subscribed to <i>The Fanal</i>, and a fervent +political co-religionist of ours, who received us with open arms and +congratulated us and wished us joy; he was delighted at having the two +editors in his house and Rivet whispered to me: "I think we shall be +able to arrange the matter of that <i>Pig of a Morin</i> for him."</p> + +<p>The niece had left the room, and I introduced the delicate object. I +waved the scepter of scandal before his eyes: I accentuated the +inevitable depreciation which the young lady would suffer if such an +affair got known, for nobody would believe in a simple kiss, and the +good man seemed undecided, but he could not make up his mind about +anything without his wife, who would not be in until late that evening, +but suddenly he uttered an exclamation of triumph: "Look here, I have an +excellent idea. I will keep you here to dine and sleep, and when my wife +comes home, I hope we shall be able to arrange matters."</p> + +<p>Rivet resisted at first, but the wish to extricate that <i>Pig of a +Morin</i>, decided him, and we accepted the invitation, and so the uncle +got up radiant, called his niece, and proposed that we should take a +stroll in his grounds, saying: "We will leave serious matters until the +morning." Rivet and he began to talk politics, while I soon found myself +lagging a little behind with the girl, who was really charming! +charming! and with the greatest precaution I began to speak to her about +her adventure, and try to make her my ally. She did not, however, appear +the least confused, and listened to me like a person who was enjoying +the whole thing very much.</p> + +<p>I said to her: "Just think, Mademoiselle, how unpleasant it will be for +you. You will have to appear in Court, to encounter malicious looks, to +speak before everybody, and to recount that unfortunate occurrence in +the railway carriage, in public. Do you not think, between ourselves, +that it would have been much better for you to have put that dirty +scoundrel back into his place without calling for assistance, and merely +to have changed your carriage." She began to laugh, and replied: "What +you say is quite true! but what could I do? I was frightened, and when +one is frightened, one does not stop to reason with oneself. As soon as +I realized the situation, I was very sorry that I had called out, but +then it was too late. You must also remember that the idiot threw +himself upon me like a madman, without saying a word and looking like a +lunatic. I did not even know what he wanted of me."</p> + +<p>She looked me full in the face, without being nervous or intimidated, +and I said to myself: "She is a funny sort of a girl, that; I can quite +see how that pig Morin came to make a mistake," and I went on, jokingly: +"Come, Mademoiselle, confess that he was excusable, for after all, a man +cannot find himself opposite such a pretty girl as you are without +feeling a legitimate desire to kiss her."</p> + +<p>She laughed more than ever, and showed her teeth, and said: "Between the +desire and the act, Monsieur, there is room for respect." It was a funny +expression to use, although it was not very clear, and I asked +abruptly: "Well now, supposing I were to kiss you now, what would you +do?" She stopped to look at me from head to foot, and then said calmly: +"Oh! you? That is quite another matter."</p> + +<p>I knew perfectly well, by Jove, that it was not the same thing at all, +as everybody in the neighborhood called me, <i>Handsome Labarbe</i>. I was +thirty years old in those days, but I asked her: "And why, pray?" She +shrugged her shoulders, and replied: "Well! because you are not so +stupid as he is." And then she added, looking at me shyly: "Nor so ugly, +either." And before she could make a movement to avoid me, I had +implanted a hearty kiss on her cheek. She sprang aside, but it was too +late, and then she said: "Well, you are not very bashful, either! But +don't do that sort of thing again."</p> + +<p>I put on a humble look and said in a low voice: "Oh! Mademoiselle, as +for me, if I long for one thing more than another, it is to be summoned +before a magistrate for the same reason as Morin."</p> + +<p>"Why?" she asked. And looking steadily at her, I replied: "Because you +are one of the most beautiful creatures living; because it would be an +honor and a glory for me to have wished to offer you violence, and +because people would have said, after seeing you: Well, Labarbe has +richly deserved what he has got, but he is a lucky fellow, all the +same."</p> + +<p>She began to laugh heartily again, and said: "How funny you are!" And +she had not finished the word <i>funny</i>, before I had her in my arms, and +was kissing her ardently wherever I could find a place, on her forehead, +on her eyes, on her lips occasionally, on her cheeks, all over her +head, some part of which she was obliged to leave exposed, in spite of +herself, to defend others, but at last she managed to release herself, +blushing and angry. "You are very unmannerly, Monsieur," she said, "and +I am sorry I listened to you."</p> + +<p>I took her hand in some confusion, and stammered out: "I beg your +pardon. I beg your pardon, Mademoiselle. I have offended you; I have +acted like a brute! Do not be angry with me for what I have done. If you +knew ..." I vainly sought for some excuse, and in a few moments she +said: "There is nothing for me to know, Monsieur." But I had found +something to say, and I cried: "Mademoiselle, I love you!"</p> + +<p>She was really surprised, and raised her eyes to look at me, and I went +on: "Yes, Mademoiselle, and pray listen to me. I do not know Morin, and +I do not care anything about him. It does not matter to me the least if +he is committed for trial and locked up meanwhile. I saw you here last +year, and I was so taken with you, that the thought of you has never +left me since, and it does not matter to me whether you believe me or +not. I thought you adorable, and the remembrance of you took such a hold +on me that I longed to see you again, and so I made use of that fool +Morin as a pretext, and here I am. Circumstances have made me exceed the +due limits of respect, and I can only beg you to pardon me."</p> + +<p>She read the truth in my looks, and was ready to smile again; then she +murmured; "You humbug!" But I raised my hand, and said in a sincere +voice, (and I really believe that I was sincere): "I swear to you that +I am speaking the truth," and she replied quite simply: "Really?"</p> + +<p>We were alone, quite alone, as Rivet and her uncle had disappeared in a +sidewalk, and I made her a real declaration of love, while I squeezed +and kissed her hands, and she listened to it as something new and +agreeable, without exactly knowing how much of it she was to believe, +while in the end I felt agitated, and at last really myself believed +what I said: I was pale, anxious and trembling, and I gently put my arms +round her waist, and spoke to her softly, whispering into the little +curls over her ears. She seemed dead, so absorbed in thought was she.</p> + +<p>Then her hand touched mine, and she pressed it, and I gently squeezed +her waist with a trembling, and gradually firmer, grasp. She did not +move now, and I touched her cheeks with my lips, and suddenly without +seeking them, mine met hers. It was a long, long kiss, and it would have +lasted longer still, if I had not heard a <i>hum! hum!</i> just behind me, at +which she made her escape through the bushes, and turning round I saw +Rivet coming towards me, and standing in the middle of the path, he said +without even smiling: "So, that is the way in which you settle the +affair of <i>that pig Morin</i>." And I replied, conceitedly: "One does what +one can, my dear fellow. But what about the uncle? How have you got on +with him? I will answer for the niece." "I have not been so fortunate +with him," he replied.</p> + +<p>Whereupon I took his arm, and we went indoors.</p> + + +<h3>III</h3> + +<p>Dinner made me lose my head altogether. I sat beside her, and my hand +continually met hers under the table cloth, my foot touched hers, and +our looks encountered each other.</p> + +<p>After dinner we took a walk by moonlight, and I whispered all the tender +things I could think of, to her. I held her close to me, kissed her +every moment, moistening my lips against hers, while her uncle and Rivet +were disputing as they walked in front of us. They went in, and soon a +messenger brought a telegram from her aunt, saying that she would not +return until the next morning at seven o'clock, by the first train.</p> + +<p>"Very well, Henriette," her uncle said, "go and show the gentlemen their +rooms." She showed Rivet his first, and he whispered to me: "There was +no danger of her taking us into yours first." Then she took me to my +room, and as soon as she was alone with me, I took her in my arms again, +and tried to excite her senses and overcome her resistance, but when she +felt that she was near succumbing, she escaped out of the room, and I +got between the sheets, very much put out and excited and feeling rather +foolish, for I knew that I should not sleep much, and I was wondering +how I could have committed such a mistake, when there was a gentle knock +at my door, and on my asking who was there, a low voice replied: "I."</p> + +<p>I dressed myself quickly, and opened the door, and she came in. "I +forgot to ask you what you take in the morning," she said: "chocolate, +tea or coffee?" I put my arms round her impetuously and said, devouring +her with kisses: "I will take ... I will take...." But she freed +herself from my arms, blew out my candle and disappeared, and left me +alone in the dark, furious, trying to find some matches, and not able to +do so. At last I got some and I went into the passage, feeling half mad, +with my candlestick in my hand.</p> + +<p>What was I going to do? I did not stop to reason, I only wanted to find +her, and I would. I went a few steps without reflecting, but then I +suddenly thought to myself. "Supposing I should go into the uncle's +room, what should I say?...." And I stood still, with my head a void, +and my heart beating. But in a few moments, I thought of an answer: "Of +course, I shall say that I am looking for Rivet's room, to speak to him +about an important matter, and I began to inspect all the doors, trying +to find hers, and at last I took hold of a handle at a venture, turned +it and went in ... there was Henriette, sitting on her bed and looking +at me in tears. So I gently turned the key, and going up to her on +tip-toe, I said: "I forgot to ask you for something to read, +Mademoiselle." She struggled and resisted, but I soon opened the book I +was looking for. I will not tell you its title, but it is the most +wonderful of romances, the most divine of poems. And when once I had +turned the first page, she let me turn over as many leaves as I liked, +and I got through so many chapters that our candles were quite burnt +out. Then, after thanking her, I was stealthily returning to my room, +when a rough hand seized me, and a voice, it was Rivet's, whispered in +my ear: 'So you have not yet quite settled that affair of Morin's?'"</p> + +<p>At seven o'clock the next morning, she herself brought me a cup of +chocolate. I have never drunk anything like it, soft, velvety, +perfumed, delicious. I could scarcely take my lips away from the cup, +and she had hardly left the room when Rivet came in. He seemed nervous +and irritable, like a man who had not slept, and he said to me crossly: +"If you go on like this, you will end by spoiling the affair of <i>that +pig of a Morin</i>!"</p> + +<p>At eight o'clock the aunt arrived. Our discussion was very short, for +they withdrew their complaint, and I left five hundred francs for the +poor of the town. They wanted to keep us for the day, and they arranged +an excursion to go and see some ruins. Henriette made signs to me to +stay, behind her parents' back, and I accepted, but Rivet was determined +to go, and though I took him aside, and begged and prayed him to do this +for me, he appeared quite exasperated and kept saying to me: "I have had +enough of that pig Morin's affair, do you hear?"</p> + +<p>Of course I was obliged to go also, and it was one of the hardest +moments of my life. I could have gone on arranging that business as long +as I lived, and when we were in the railway carriage, after shaking +hands with her in silence, I said to Rivet: "You are a mere brute!" And +he replied: "My dear fellow, you were beginning to excite me +confoundedly."</p> + +<p>On getting to the <i>Fanal</i> office, I saw a crowd waiting for us, and as +soon as they saw us they all exclaimed: "Well, have you settled the +affair of <i>that pig of a Morin</i>?" All La Rochelle was excited about it, +and Rivet, who had got over his ill-humor on the journey, had great +difficulty in keeping himself from laughing as he said: "Yes, we have +managed it, thanks to Labarbe." And we went to Morin's.</p> + +<p>He was sitting in an easy chair, with mustard plasters on his legs, and +cold bandages on his head, nearly dead with misery. He was coughing with +the short cough of a dying man, without any one knowing how he had +caught it, and his wife looked at him like a tigress ready to eat him, +and as soon as he saw us he trembled so violently as to make his hands +and knees shake, so I said to him immediately: "It is all settled, you +dirty scamp, but don't do such a thing again."</p> + +<p>He got up, choking, took my hands and kissed them as if they had +belonged to a prince, cried, nearly fainted, embraced Rivet and even +kissed Madame Morin, who gave him such a push as to send him staggering +back into his chair, but he never got over the blow: his mind had been +too much upset. In all the country round, moreover, he was called +nothing but, "that pig of a Morin," and that epithet went through him +like a sword thrust every time he heard it. When a street boy called +after him: "Pig!" he turned his head instinctively. His friends also +overwhelmed him with horrible jokes, and used to ask him, whenever they +were eating ham: "It's a bit of you?" He died two years later.</p> + +<p>As for myself, when I was a candidate for the Chamber of Deputies in +1875, I called on the new notary at Fouserre, Monsieur Belloncle, to +solicit his vote, and a tall, handsome and evidently wealthy lady +received me. "You do not know me again?" she said. And I stammered out: +"But ... no Madame." "Henriette Bonnel." "Ah!" And I felt myself turning +pale, while she seemed perfectly at her ease, and looked at me with a +smile.</p> + +<p>As soon as she had left me alone with her husband, he took both my +hands, and squeezing them as if he meant to crush them, he said: "I have +been intending to go and see you for a long time, my dear sir, for my +wife has very often talked to me about you. I know ... yes, I know under +what painful circumstances you made her acquaintance, and I know also +how perfectly you behaved, how full of delicacy, tact and devotion you +showed yourself in the affair...." He hesitated, and then said in a +lower tone, as if he had been saying something low and coarse.... "In +the affair of that pig of a Morin."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_WOODEN_SHOES" id="THE_WOODEN_SHOES"></a>THE WOODEN SHOES</h2> + + +<p>The old priest was sputtering out the last words of his sermon over the +white caps of the peasant women, and the rough or pomatumed heads of the +men. The large baskets of the farmer's wives who had come from a +distance to attend mass, were on the ground beside them, and the heavy +heat of a July day caused them all to exhale a smell like that of +cattle, or of a flock of sheep, and the cocks could be heard crowing +through the large west door, which was wide open, as well as the lowing +of the cows in a neighboring field.... "As God wishes. Amen!" the priest +said. Then he ceased, opened a book, and, as he did every week, he began +to give notice of all the small parish events for the following week. He +was an old man with white hair who had been in the parish for over forty +years, and from the pulpit he was in the habit of discoursing familiarly +to them all, and so he went on: "I recommend Désiré Vallin, who is very +ill, to your prayers, and also la Paumelle, who is not recovering from +her confinement satisfactorily."</p> + +<p>He had forgotten the rest, and so he looked for the slips of paper which +were put away in a breviary, and at last he found two and continued: "I +will not have the lads and the girls come into the churchyard in the +evening, as they do; otherwise I shall inform the rural policeman. +Monsieur Césaire Omont would like to find a respectable girl servant." +He reflected for a few moments, and then added: "That is all, my +brethren, and I wish that all of you may find the Divine mercy."</p> + +<p>And he came down from the pulpit, to finish mass.</p> + +<p>When the Malandains had returned to their cottage, which was the last in +the village of La Sablière, on the road to Fourville, the father, a +thin, wrinkled old peasant, sat down at the table, while his wife took +the saucepan off the fire, and Adelaide, the daughter, took the glasses +and plates out of the sideboard, and he said: "I think that place at +Maître Omont's ought to be a good one, as he is a widower and his +daughter-in-law does not like him. He is all alone and has money. I +think it would be a good thing to send Adelaide there."</p> + +<p>His wife put the black saucepan onto the table, took the lid off, and +while the steam, which smelt strongly of cabbage, rose into the air she +reflected, and he presently continued: "He has got some money, that is +certain, but any one going there ought to be very sharp, and Adelaide is +not that at all." And his wife replied: "I might go and see, all the +same," and turning to her daughter, a strapping, silly looking girl with +yellow hair and fat red cheeks like apples, she said: "Do you hear, you +great silly? You are to go to Maître Omont's and offer yourself as his +servant, and you will do whatever he tells you."</p> + +<p>The girl began to laugh in a foolish manner, without replying, and then +all the three began their dinner. In ten minutes, the father continued: +"Listen to me, girl, and try not to make a mistake about what I am going +to say to you ..." And slowly and minutely he laid down for her her line +of conduct, anticipating the minutest details, and preparing her for the +conquest of an old widower who was on unfriendly terms with his family. +The mother ceased eating to listen to him, and she sat there, with her +fork in her hand, looking at her husband and her daughter by turns, and +following every word with concentrated and silent attention, while +Adelaide remained listless, docile and stupid, with vague and wandering +eyes.</p> + +<p>As soon as their meal was over, her mother made her put her cap on, and +they both started off to see Monsieur Césaire Omont. He lived in a small +brick house adjoining his tenants' cottages, for he had retired, and was +living by subdividing and letting his land.</p> + +<p>He was about fifty-five years old, and was stout, jovial and rough +mannered, as rich men often are. He laughed and shouted loud enough to +make the walls fall down, drank brandy and cider by the glassful, and +was still said to be of an amorous disposition, in spite of his age. He +liked to walk about his fields with his hands behind his back, digging +his wooden shoes into the fat soil, looking at the sprouting corn or the +flowering colza with the eye of an amateur at his ease, who likes to see +it, but does not trouble himself about it too much any longer, and they +used to say of him: "There is a Mr. Merry-man, who does not get up in a +good temper every day."</p> + +<p>He received the two women, with his fat stomach against the table, as he +was finishing his coffee, and turning round he said: "What do you want?"</p> + +<p>The mother was spokeswoman. "This is our girl Adelaide, and I have come +to ask you to take her as servant, as Monsieur le curé told us you +wanted one." Maître Omont looked at the girl, and then he said roughly: +"How old is the great she-goat?" "Twenty last Michaelmas-Day, Monsieur +Omont." "That is settled, she will have fifteen francs a month and her +food. I shall expect her to-morrow, to make my soup in the morning." +And he dismissed the two women.</p> + +<p>The next day Adelaide entered upon her duties, and began to work hard, +without saying a word, as she was in the habit of doing at home, and at +about nine o'clock, as she was scrubbing the kitchen floor, Monsieur +Omont called her: "Adelaide!" She came immediately, saying: "Here I am, +master." As soon as she was opposite him, with her red and neglected +hands, and her troubled looks, he said: "Now just listen to me, so that +there may be no mistake between us. You are my servant, but nothing +else; you understand what I mean. We shall keep our shoes apart." "Yes, +master." "Each in our own place, my girl, you in your kitchen; I in my +dining room, and with that exception, everything will be for you just as +it is for me. Is that settled?" "Yes, master." "Very well; that is all +right, and now go to your work."</p> + +<p>And she went out to attend to her duties and at midday she served up her +master's dinner in the little drawing-room with the flowered paper on +the walls, and then, when the soup was on the table, she went to tell +him. "Dinner is ready, master."</p> + +<p>He went in, and sat down, looked round, unfolded his table napkin, +hesitated for a moment and then in a voice of thunder he shouted: +"Adelaide!" She rushed in terribly frightened, for he had shouted as if +he meant to murder her. "Well, in heaven's name, where is your place?" +"But, ... master ..." "I do not like to eat alone," he roared; "you will +sit there, or go to the devil, if you don't choose to do so. Go and get +your plate and glass."</p> + +<p>She brought them in, feeling very frightened, and stammered: "Here I +am, master," and then sat down opposite to him, and he grew jovial; +clinked glasses with her, rapped the table, and told her stories to +which she listened with downcast eyes, without daring to say a word, and +from time to time she got up to fetch some bread, cider or plates. When +she brought in the coffee she only put one cup before him, and then he +grew angry again, and growled: "Well, what about yourself?" "I never +take any, master." "Why not?" "Because I do not like it."</p> + +<p>Then he burst out afresh: "I am not fond of having my coffee by myself, +confound it! If you will not take it here, you can go to the devil. Go +and get a cup, and make haste about it."</p> + +<p>So she went and fetched a cup, sat down again, tasted the black liquor +and made faces over it, but swallowed it to the last drop, under her +master's furious looks. Then he made her also drink her first glass of +brandy as an extra drop, the second as a livener and the third as a kick +behind, and then he told her to go and wash up her plates and dishes, +adding, that she was "a good sort of a girl."</p> + +<p>It was the same at dinner, and then she had to play dominoes with him, +after which he sent her to bed, saying that he should come upstairs +soon. And she went to her room, a garret under the roof, and after +saying her prayers, she undressed and got into bed, but very soon she +sprung up in a fright, for a furious shout had shaken the house. +"Adelaide!" She opened her door, and replied from her attic: "Here I am, +master." "Where are you?" "In bed, of course, master." Then he roared +out: "Will you come downstairs, in heaven's name? I do not like to sleep +alone, and by G—— and if you object, you can just go at once."</p> + +<p>Then in her terror, she replied from upstairs: "I will come, master," as +she looked for her candle, and he heard her small clogs pattering down +the stairs, and when she had got to the bottom steps, he seized her by +the arm, and as soon as she had left her light wooden shoes by the side +of her master's heavy boots, he pushed her into his room, growling out: +"Quicker than that, confound it!"</p> + +<p>And she repeated continually, without knowing what she was saying: "Here +I am, here I am, master."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Six months later, when she went to see her parents one Sunday, her +father looked at her curiously, and then said: "Are you not in the +family way?" She remained thunderstruck, and looked at her waist, and +then said: "No, I do not think so."</p> + +<p>Then he asked her, for he wanted to know everything: "Just tell me, +didn't you mix your clogs together, one night?" "Yes, I mixed them the +first night, and then every other night." "Well, then you are full, you +great tub!"</p> + +<p>On hearing that, she began to sob, and stammered: "How could I know? How +was I to know?" Old Malandain looked at her knowingly, and appeared very +pleased, and then he asked: "What did you not know?" And amid tears she +replied: "How was I to know that children were made in that way?" And +when her mother came back, the man said, without any anger: "There, she +is in the family way, now."</p> + +<p>But the woman was furious, her woman's instinct revolted, and she called +her daughter, who was in tears, every name she could think of, "a +trollop" and "a strumpet." Then, however, the old man made her hold her +tongue, and as he took up his cap to go and talk the matter over with +Master Césaire Omont, he remarked: "She is actually more stupid than I +thought she was; she did not even know what he was doing, the fool!"</p> + +<p>On the next Sunday, after the sermon, the old <i>Curé</i> published the banns +between Monsieur Onufre-Césaire Omont and Celesté-Adelaide Malandain.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_NORMANDY_JOKE" id="A_NORMANDY_JOKE"></a>A NORMANDY JOKE</h2> + + +<p>The procession came in sight in the hollow road which was shaded by tall +trees which grew on the slopes of the farms. The newly married couple +came first, then the relations, then the invited guests, and lastly the +poor of the neighborhood, while the village urchins, who hovered about +the narrow road like flies, ran in and out of the ranks, or climbed onto +the tree to see it better.</p> + +<p>The bridegroom was a good looking young fellow, Jean Patu, the richest +farmer in the neighborhood, but he was, above all things, an ardent +sportsman who seemed to lose all common sense in order to satisfy that +passion, and who spent large sums on his dogs, his keepers, his ferrets +and his guns. The bride, Rosalie Roussel, had been courted by all the +likely young fellows in the district, for they all thought her +prepossessing, and they knew that she would have a good dowry, but she +had chosen Patu, partly, perhaps, because she liked him better than she +did the others, but still more, like a careful Normandy girl, because he +had more crown pieces.</p> + +<p>When they went in at the white gateway of the husband's farm, forty +shots resounded without their seeing those who fired, as they were +hidden in the ditches, and the noise seemed to please the men, who were +sprawling about heavily in their best clothes, very much; and Patu left +his wife, and running up to a farm servant whom he perceived behind a +tree, he seized his gun and fired a shot himself, kicking his heels +about like a colt. Then they went on, beneath the apple-trees which +were heavy with fruit, through the high grass and through the midst of +the calves, who looked at them with their great eyes, got up slowly and +remained standing, with their muzzles turned towards the wedding party.</p> + +<p>The men became serious when they came within measurable distance of the +wedding dinner. Some of them, the rich ones, had on tall, shining silk +hats, which seemed altogether out of place there; others had old +head-coverings with a long nap, which might have been taken for +moleskin, while the humblest among them wore caps. All the women had on +shawls, which they wore loose on their backs, and they held the tips +ceremoniously under their arms. They were red, parti-colored, flaming +shawls, and their brightness seemed to astonish the black fowls on the +dung-heap, the ducks on the side of the pond, and the pigeons on the +thatched roofs.</p> + +<p>The extensive farm buildings seemed to be waiting there, at the end of +that archway of apple trees, and a sort of vapor came out of the open +door and windows, and an almost overwhelming smell of eatables was +exhaled from the vast building, from all its openings and from all its +very walls. The string of guests extended through the yard; when the +foremost of them reached the house, they broke the chain and dispersed, +while behind they were still coming in at the open gate. The ditches +were now lined with urchins and poor curious people, and the shots did +not cease, but came from every side at once, and mingled a cloud of +smoke, and that smell which has the same intoxicating effects as +absinthe, with the atmosphere.</p> + +<p>The women were shaking their dresses outside the door, to get rid of +the dust, were undoing their cap strings and pulling their shawls over +their arms, and then they went into the house to lay them aside +altogether for the time. The table was laid in the great kitchen, that +would hold a hundred persons; they sat down to dinner at two o'clock and +at eight o'clock they were still eating, and the men, in their shirt +sleeves, with their waistcoats unbuttoned, and with red faces, were +swallowing the food and drink down, as if they had been whirlpools. The +cider sparkled merrily, clear and golden in the large glasses, by the +side of the dark, blood-colored wine, and between every dish they made +the hole, the Normandy hole, with a glass of brandy which inflamed the +body, and put foolish notions into the head.</p> + +<p>From time to time, one of the guests, being as full as a barrel, would +go out for a few moments to get a mouthful of fresh air, as they said, +and then return with redoubled appetite. The farmers' wives, with +scarlet faces and their stays nearly bursting, did not like to follow +their example, until one of them, feeling more uncomfortable than the +others, went out, when all the rest followed her example, and they came +back quite ready for any fun, and the rough jokes began afresh. +Broad-sides of obscenities were exchanged across the table, and all +about the wedding-night, until the whole arsenal of peasant wit was +exhausted. For the last hundred years, the same broad jokes had served +for similar occasions, and although every one knew them, they still hit +the mark, and made both rows of guests roar with laughter.</p> + +<p>At the bottom of the table four young fellows, who were neighbors, were +preparing some practical jokes for the newly married couple, and they +seemed to have got hold of a good one, by the way they whispered and +laughed, and suddenly, one of them profiting by a moment of silence, +exclaimed: "The poachers will have a good time to-night, with this +moon!... I say, Jean, you will not be looking at the moon, will you?" +The bridegroom turned to him quickly and replied: "Only let them come, +that's all!" But the other young fellow began to laugh, and said: "I do +not think you will neglect your business for them!"</p> + +<p>The whole table was convulsed with laughter, so that the glasses shook, +but the bridegroom became furious at the thought that anybody would +profit by his wedding to come and poach on his land, and repeated: "I +only say: Just let them come!"</p> + +<p>Then there was a flood of talk with a double meaning which made the +bride blush somewhat, although she was trembling with expectation, and +when they had emptied the kegs of brandy they all went to bed; the young +couple went into their own room, which was on the ground floor, as most +rooms in farmhouses are. As it was very warm, they opened the window and +closed the shutters. A small lamp in bad taste, a present from the +bride's father, was burning on the chest of drawers, and the bed stood +ready to receive the young people, who did not stand upon all the +ceremony which is usual among towns-people, in their first embraces.</p> + +<p>The young woman had already taken off her wreath and her dress, and she +was in her petticoat, unlacing her boots, while Jean was finishing his +cigar, and looking at her out of the corners of his eyes. It was an +ardent look, more sensual than tender, for he felt more desire than +love for her, and suddenly with a brusque movement, like a man who is +going to set to work, he took off his coat. She had already taken off +her boots, and was now pulling off her stockings, and then she said to +him: "Go and hide yourself behind the curtains while I get into bed."</p> + +<p>He seemed as if he were going to refuse, but then with a cunning look he +went and hid himself with the exception of his head. She laughed and +tried to cover up his eyes, and they romped in an amorous and happy +manner, without shame or embarrassment. At last he did as she asked him, +and in a moment she unfastened her petticoat, which slipped down her +legs, fell at her feet and lay on the ground in a circle. She left it +there, stooped over it, naked with the exception of her floating +chemise, and slipped into the bed, whose springs creaked beneath her +weight. He immediately went up to her, without his shoes and in his +trousers, and stooping over his wife he sought her lips, which she hid +beneath the pillow, when a shot was heard in the distance, in the +direction of the forest of Râpées, as he thought.</p> + +<p>He raised himself anxiously and with his heart beating, and running to +the window, he opened the shutters. The full moon flooded the yard with +yellow light, and the reflection of the apple trees made black shadows +at their feet, while in the distance the fields gleamed, covered with +the ripe corn. But as he was leaning out, listening to every sound in +the still night, two bare arms were put round his neck, and his wife +whispered, trying to pull him back: "Do leave them alone; it has nothing +to do with you. Come to bed."</p> + +<p>He turned round, put his arms round her, and drew her towards him, +feeling her warm skin through the thin material, and lifting her up in +his vigorous arms, he carried her towards their couch, but just as he +was laying her on the bed, which yielded beneath her weight, they heard +another report, considerably nearer this time, and Jean, giving way to +his tumultuous rage, swore aloud: "God, G...! Do you think I shall not +go out and see what it is, because of you?... Wait, wait a few minutes!" +He put on his shoes again, took down his gun, which was always hanging +within reach, against the wall, and, as his wife threw herself on her +knees in her terror to implore him not to go, he hastily freed himself, +ran to the window and jumped into the yard.</p> + +<p>She waited one hour, two hours, until daybreak, but her husband did not +return. Then she lost her head, aroused the house, related how angry +Jean was, and said that he had gone after the poachers, and immediately +all the male farm-servants, even the boys, went in search of their +master. They found him two leagues from the farm, tied hand and foot, +half dead with rage, his gun broken, his trousers turned inside out, and +with three dead hares hanging round his neck, and a placard on his +chest, with these words: <i>Who goes on the chase, loses his place.</i></p> + +<p>And later on, when he used to tell this story of his wedding night, he +generally added: "Ah! As far as a joke went, it was a good joke. They +caught me in a snare, as if I had been a rabbit, the dirty brutes, and +they shoved my head into a bag. But if I can only catch them some day, +they had better look out for themselves!"</p> + +<p>That is how they amuse themselves in Normandy on a wedding day.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_COCK_CROWED" id="A_COCK_CROWED"></a>A COCK CROWED</h2> + + +<p>Madame Berthe d'Avancelles had up till that time resisted all the +prayers of her despairing adorer, Baron Joseph de Croissard. He had +pursued her ardently in Paris during the winter, and now he was giving +fêtes and shooting parties in her honor at his Château at Carville, in +Normandy.</p> + +<p>Monsieur d'Avancelles, her husband, saw nothing and knew nothing, as +usual. It was said that he lived apart from his wife on account of +physical weakness, for which Madame d'Avancelles would not pardon him. +He was a short, stout, bald man, with short arms, legs, neck, nose and +everything else, while Madame d'Avancelles, on the contrary, was a tall, +dark and determined young woman, who laughed in her husband's face with +sonorous laughter, while he called her openly <i>Mrs. Housewife</i>, who +looked at the broad shoulders, strong build and fair moustaches of her +titled admirer, Baron Joseph de Croissard, with a certain amount of +tenderness.</p> + +<p>She had not, however, granted him anything as yet. The baron was ruining +himself for her, and there was a constant round of fêting, hunting +parties and new pleasures, to which he invited the neighboring nobility. +All day long the hounds gave tongue in the woods, as they followed the +fox or the wild boar, and every night dazzling fireworks mingled their +burning plumes with the boars, while the illuminated windows of the +drawing-room cast long rays of light onto the wide lawns, where shadows +were moving to and fro.</p> + +<p>It was autumn, the russet-colored season of the year, and the leaves +were whirling about on the grass like flights of birds. One noticed the +smell of damp earth in the air, of the naked earth, like one smells the +odor of the bare skin, when a woman's dress falls off her, after a ball.</p> + +<p>One evening, in the previous spring, during an entertainment, Madame +d'Avancelles had said to Monsieur de Croissard, who was worrying her by +his importunities: "If I do succumb to you, my friend, it will not be +before the fall of the leaf. I have too many things to do this summer to +have any time for it." He had not forgotten that bold and amusing +speech, and every day he became more pressing, every day he pushed his +approaches nearer—to use a military phrase—and gained a step in the +heart of the fair, audacious woman, who seemed only to be resisting for +form's sake.</p> + +<p>It was the day before a large wild-boar hunt, and in the evening Madame +Berthe said to the baron with a laugh: "Baron, if you kill the brute, I +shall have something to say to you." And so, at dawn he was up and out, +to try and discover where the solitary animal had its lair. He +accompanied his huntsmen, settled the places for the relays, and +organized everything personally to insure his triumph, and when the +horns gave the signal for setting out, he appeared in a closely fitting +coat of scarlet and gold, with his waist drawn in tight, his chest +expanded, his eyes radiant, and as fresh and strong as if he had just +got out of bed. They set off, and the wild boar set off through the +underwood as soon as he was dislodged, followed by the hounds in full +cry, while the horses set off at a gallop through the narrow sides cut +in the forest, while the carriage which followed the chase at a +distance, drove noiselessly along the soft roads.</p> + +<p>From mischief, Madame d'Avancelles kept the baron by her side, and +lagging behind at a walk in an interminably long and straight drive, +over which four rows of oaks hung, so as to form almost an arch, while +he, trembling with love and anxiety, listened with one ear to the young +woman's bantering chatter, while with the other he listened to the blast +of the horns and to the cry of the hounds as they receded in the +distance.</p> + +<p>"So you do not love me any longer?" she observed. "How can you say such +things?" he replied. And she continued: "But you seem to be paying more +attention to the sport than to me." He groaned, and said: "Did you not +order me to kill the animal myself?" And she replied gravely: "Of course +I reckon upon it. You must kill it under my eyes."</p> + +<p>Then he trembled in his saddle, spurred his horse until it reared, and, +losing all patience, exclaimed: "But, by Jove, Madame, that is +impossible if we remain here." Then she spoke tenderly to him, laying +her hand on his arm, or stroking his horse's mane, as if from +abstraction, and said with a laugh: "But you must do it ... or else ... +so much the worse for you."</p> + +<p>Just then they turned to the right, into a narrow path which was +overhung by trees, and suddenly, to avoid a branch which barred their +way, she leaned towards him so closely, that he felt her hair tickling +his neck, and he suddenly threw his arms brutally round her, and +putting his thick moustache onto her forehead, he gave her a furious +kiss.</p> + +<p>At first she did not move, and remained motionless under that mad +caress; then she turned her head with a jerk, and either by accident or +design her little lips met his, under their wealth of light hair, and a +moment afterwards, either from confusion or remorse, she struck her +horse with her riding-whip, and went off at full gallop, and they rode +on like that for some time, without exchanging a look.</p> + +<p>The noise of the hunt came nearer, the thickets seemed to tremble, and +suddenly the wild boar broke through the bushes, covered with blood, and +trying to shake off the hounds who had fastened onto him, and the baron, +uttering a shout of triumph, exclaimed: "Let him who loves me, follow +me!" And he disappeared in the copse, as if the wood had swallowed him +up.</p> + +<p>When she reached an open glade a few minutes later, he was just getting +up, covered with mud, his coat torn, and his hands bloody, while the +brute was lying stretched out at full length, with the baron's hunting +knife driven into its shoulder up to the hilt.</p> + +<p>The quarry was cut at night by torchlight. It was a warm and dull +evening, and the wan moon threw a yellow light onto the torches which +made the night misty with their resinous smoke. The hounds devoured the +wild boar's stinking entrails, and snarled and fought for them, while +the prickers and the gentlemen, standing in a circle round the spoil, +blew their horns as loud as they could. The flourish of the +hunting-horns resounded beyond the woods on that still night and was +repeated by the echoes of the distant valleys, awaking the timid stags, +rousing the yelping foxes, and disturbing the little rabbits in their +gambols at the edge of the rides.</p> + +<p>The frightened night-birds flew over the eager pack of hounds, while the +women, who were moved by all these gentle and violent things, leaned +rather heavily on the men's arms; and turned aside into the forest +rides, before the hounds had finished their meal, and Madame +d'Avancelles, feeling languid after that day of fatigue and tenderness, +said to the baron: "Will you take a turn in the park, my friend?" And +without replying, but trembling and nervous, he went with her, and +immediately they kissed each other. They walked slowly under the almost +leafless trees through which the moonbeams filtered, and their love, +their desires, their longing for a closer embrace became so vehement, +that they nearly yielded to it at the foot of a tree.</p> + +<p>The horns were not sounding any longer, and the tired hounds were +sleeping in the kennels. "Let us return," the young woman said, and they +went back.</p> + +<p>When they got to the château and before they went in, she said in a weak +voice: "I am so tired that I shall go to bed, my friend." And as he +opened his arms for a last kiss, she ran away, saying as a last good-bye: +"No.... I am going to sleep.... Let him who loves me follow me!"</p> + +<p>An hour later, when the whole silent château seemed dead; the baron +crept stealthily out of his room, and went and scratched at her door, +and as she did not reply, he tried to open it, and found that it was not +locked.</p> + +<p>She was in a reverie, resting her arms against the window ledge, and he +threw himself at her knees, which he kissed madly, through the +nightdress. She said nothing, but buried her delicate fingers +caressingly in his hair, and suddenly, as if she had formed some great +resolution, she whispered with her daring look: "I shall come back, wait +for me." And stretching out her hand, she pointed with her finger to an +indistinct white spot at the end of the room; it was her bed.</p> + +<p>Then, with trembling hands and scarcely knowing what he was doing, he +quickly undressed, got into the cool sheets, and stretching himself out +comfortably, he almost forgot his love in the pleasure he found, tired +out as he was, in the contact of the linen. She did not return, however, +no doubt finding amusement in making him languish. He closed his eyes +with a feeling of exquisite comfort, and reflected peaceably while +waiting for what he so ardently longed for. But by degrees his limbs +grew languid and his thoughts became indistinct and fleeting, until his +fatigue gained the upper hand and he fell asleep.</p> + +<p>He slept that unconquerable, heavy sleep of the worn-out hunter, and he +slept until daylight; and then, as the window had remained half open, +the crowing of a cock suddenly woke him, and the baron opened his eyes, +and feeling a woman's body against his, finding himself, much to his +surprise, in a strange bed, and remembering nothing for a moment, he +stammered:</p> + +<p>"What? Where am I? What is the matter?"</p> + +<p>Then she, who had not been asleep at all, looking at this unkempt man, +with red eyes and swollen lips, replied in the haughty tone of voice in +which she occasionally spoke to her husband:</p> + +<p>"It is nothing; it is only a cock crowing. Go and sleep again, Monsieur, +it has nothing to do with you."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="JULOTS_OPINION" id="JULOTS_OPINION"></a>JULOT'S OPINION</h2> + + +<p>The Duchess Huguette de Lionzac was very much infatuated with herself, +but then she had a perfect right to be, and who, in her place, would not +have shown a spice of conceit? There was no success which she had wished +for, that she had not attained. She had received a medal for sculpture +at the <i>Salon</i>, and at the <i>Exhibition of Excessives</i> she had shown a +water-color which looked eccentric, even there.</p> + +<p>She had published a collection of poems which was crowned by the French +Academy, and a small volume of <i>Rhythmic Prose</i> of which the <i>Revue de +lemain</i> said, "That it showed the most subtle and evanescent performance +of those fugitive pieces which was sure to descend to posterity," and +when she acted in private theatricals, some exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"It is better than the <i>Comedié Française</i>," while others, who were more +refined, went so far as to utter the supreme praise: "Better than the +<i>Théâtre Libre</i>."</p> + +<p>At one time, there had been a report, which had been propagated by the +newspapers, that she was going to come out at the <i>Opéra Comique</i>, in a +part that had been written especially for her extraordinary voice, for +it appeared that Massenet would not hear of anybody else for the part.</p> + +<p>She was the circus-rider, Miss Edith, who, under that assumed name gave +that unique and never-to-be-forgotten exhibition of horsemanship, and +you remember what cheers there were, and what quantities of flowers +covered the arena! And you must not forget that this was before a +<i>paying public</i>!</p> + +<p>Then, it was notorious that she had carried off the lovers of several +celebrated courtesans, which was not one of the smallest of her +triumphs, for she had chosen as her rivals some of those terrible and +hitherto unconquered women, of whom it was said:</p> + +<p>"Oh! When she has got hold of a man, she does not let him go again. She +has some secrets that attach them to her."</p> + +<p>There was, therefore, nothing surprising in the fact that the Duchess +Huguette should have been so proud of so many victories, and in such +various sports; but now, for the first time, a doubt had entered her +mind. In turning over the <i>Notules Psychologiques</i><a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> of her favorite +novel-writer, she had just read these two sentences which disturbed her:</p> + + +<p>"If anyone wishes to excel in an art, he must have gained a living by +it."</p> + +<p>"What pleases us in a woman of the world who gives herself up to +debauchery, is the contrast between what she is, and what she would like +to be."</p> + +<p>And she asked herself whether she could really have lived by those arts +in which she excelled, and whether the successes that she had obtained, +did not chiefly depend on her charm of a woman of the world, who wished +to be what she was not. The last <i>whether</i>, especially, made her +anxious. For was not it precisely that special charm which had given her +an advantage over courtesans who employed secrets?</p> + +<p>Would she have been victorious if she had been deprived of that weapon? +How could she find out?</p> + +<p>"And yet," she said to herself, "I must know, for everything depends on +this point. If I can win the game without playing that card, I am sure +of all my other triumphs; my mind will be easy then, whatever it may +cost."</p> + +<p>She consulted her old god-father, Viscount Hugues de Pierras, on the +subject, and, after a few complimentary words, as she had begged him to +be sincere, he said:</p> + +<p>"Good heavens! my dear child, I must confess that your psychologist is +not altogether wrong, nor your apprehensions either. I have, before now, +left many learned mistresses for women who were not in the least +learned, and who pleased me all the better on that account. But that did +not prevent the mistresses I had sacrificed from being women of +incomprehensible talents, in spite of their defeat. But what does that +matter? It ought to be enough for you, that you conquer, without +troubling yourself about the means by which you obtain your victory. I +do not suppose that you have any pretensions to being a <i>virtuosa</i> +in ..."</p> + +<p>"In everything, yes. Excuse me, god-father, I have such pretensions. And +what I ask of you, is the means of obtaining absolute proof that my +pretensions are justified."</p> + +<p>"Hum! Hum!" the viscount said, in some embarrassment, "I do not know of +any means, my dear child, unless we get together a jury...."</p> + +<p>"Please do not joke about it!" Huguette exclaimed. "I am perfectly +serious."</p> + +<p>"I am very serious also, I assure you, I think that a jury..."</p> + +<p>"Composed of whom? Of men of the world, I suppose?"</p> + +<p>"And what does this Julot do?"</p> + +<p>"Oh! really, Duchess, you force me to speak of persons and things, +which ..."</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, I force you to; we understand that. But tell me! Bluntly, +without mincing matters, if necessary. You know that I have no objection +to that sort of thing, so go on. Do not keep me in suspense like this. I +am burning with curiosity. What does Julot do?"</p> + +<p>"Very well, little volunteer, if you insist on knowing, I will tell you. +Julot, generally called <i>Fine-Gueule</i>, is a trier of women."</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon?"</p> + +<p>"I will explain it to you. There are a few of us old amateurs in Paris, +who are too old and impatient to hunt for truffles, but who want them of +such and such a flavor, exactly to our taste. Now, Julot knows our +tastes, our various fancies, and he undertakes ..."</p> + +<p>"Capital! Capital!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MADEMOISELLE" id="MADEMOISELLE"></a>MADEMOISELLE</h2> + + +<p>He had been registered under the names of Jean Marie Mathieu Valot, but +he was never called anything but <i>Mademoiselle</i>. He was the idiot of the +district, but not one of those wretched, ragged idiots who live on +public charity. He lived comfortably on a small income which his mother +had left him, and which his guardian paid him regularly, and so he was +rather envied than pitied. And then, he was not one of those idiots with +wild looks, and the manners of an animal, for he was by no means an +unpleasing object, with his half-open lips and smiling eyes, and +especially in his constant make-up in female dress. For he dressed like +a girl, and showed by that, how little he objected to being called +<i>Mademoiselle</i>.</p> + +<p>And why should he not like the nickname which his mother had given him +affectionately, when he was a mere child, and so delicate and weak, with +such a fair complexion, a poor little diminutive lad, that he was not as +tall as many girls of the same age? It was in pure love that, in his +earlier years, his mother whispered that tender <i>Mademoiselle</i> to him, +while his old grandmother used to say jokingly:</p> + +<p>"The fact is, that as for the <i>tip-cat</i> he has got, it is really not +worth mentioning in a Christian. No offense to God in saying so." And +his grandfather who was equally fond of a joke, used to add: "I only +hope he will not lose it, as he grows bigger, like tadpoles do their +tails!"</p> + +<p>And they treated him as if he had really been a girl and coddled him, +the more so as they were very prosperous, and did not require a man to +keep things together.</p> + +<p>When his mother and grandparents were dead, <i>Mademoiselle</i> was almost as +happy with his paternal uncle, an unmarried man, who had carefully +attended the idiot, and who had grown more and more attached to him by +dint of looking after him; and the worthy man continued to call Jean +Marie Mathieu Valot, <i>Mademoiselle</i>.</p> + +<p>He was called so in all the country round as well, not with the +slightest intention of hurting his feelings, but, on the contrary, +because all thought they would please the poor gentle creature who +harmed nobody.</p> + +<p>The very street boys meant no harm by it, accustomed as they were to +call the tall idiot in a frock and cap, so; but it would have struck +them as very extraordinary, and would have led them to in rude fun, if +they had seen him dressed like a boy.</p> + +<p><i>Mademoiselle</i>, however, took care of that, for his dress was as dear to +him as his nickname. He delighted in wearing it, and, in fact, cared for +nothing else, and what gave it a particular zest was, that he knew that +he was not a girl, and that he was living in disguise. And this was +evident, by the exaggerated feminine bearing and walk he put on, as if +to show that it was not natural to him. His enormous, carefully frilled +cap was adorned with large variegated ribbons. His petticoat, with +numerous flounces, was distended behind by many hoops. He walked with +short steps, and with exaggerated swaying of the hips, while his folded +arms and crossed hands were distorted into pretensions of comical +coquetry.</p> + +<p>On such occasions, if anybody wished to make friends with him, it was +necessary to say:</p> + +<p>"Ah! <i>Mademoiselle</i>, what a nice girl you make."</p> + +<p>That put him into a good humor, and he used to reply, much pleased:</p> + +<p>"Don't I? But people can see I only do it for a joke."</p> + +<p>But, nevertheless, when they were dancing at village festivals in the +neighborhood, he would always be invited to dance as <i>Mademoiselle</i>, and +would never ask any of the girls to dance with him; and one evening when +somebody asked him the reason for this, he opened his eyes wide, laughed +as if the man had said something very stupid, and replied:</p> + +<p>"I cannot ask the girls because I am not dressed like a lad. Just look +at my dress, you fool!"</p> + +<p>As his interrogator was a judicious man, he said to him:</p> + +<p>"Then dress like one, <i>Mademoiselle</i>."</p> + +<p>He thought for a moment, and then said with a cunning look:</p> + +<p>"But if I dress like a lad, I shall no longer be a girl; but then, I am +a girl;" and he shrugged his shoulders as he said it.</p> + +<p>But the remark seemed to make him think.</p> + +<p>For some time afterwards, when he met the same person, he asked him +abruptly:</p> + +<p>"If I dress like a lad, will you still call me <i>Mademoiselle</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Of course, I shall," the other replied. "You will always be called so."</p> + +<p>The idiot appeared delighted, for there was no doubt that he thought +more of his nickname than he did of his dress, and the next day he made +his appearance in the village square without his petticoats and dressed +as a man. He had taken a pair of trousers, a coat and a hat, from his +guardian's clothes-press, and this created quite a revolution in the +neighborhood, for the people, who had been in the habit of smiling at +him kindly when he was dressed as a woman, looked at him in astonishment +and almost in fear, while the indulgent could not help laughing, and +visibly making fun of him.</p> + +<p>The involuntary hostility of some, and the too evident ridicule of +others, the disagreeable surprise of all, were too palpable for him not +to see it, and to be hurt by it, and it was still worse when a street +urchin said to him in a jeering voice, as he danced round him:</p> + +<p>"Oh! oh! <i>Mademoiselle</i>, you wear trousers! Oh! oh! <i>Mademoiselle</i>!"</p> + +<p>And it grew worse and worse, when a whole band of these vagabonds were +on his heels, hooting and yelling after him, as if he had been somebody +in a masquerading dress, during the carnival.</p> + +<p>It was quite certain that the unfortunate creature looked much more as +if he were in a disguise now than he had done formerly. By dint of +living like a girl, and by even exaggerating the feminine walk and +manners, he had totally lost all masculine looks and ways. His smooth +face, his long flax like hair, required a cap with ribbons, and became a +caricature under the high chimney-pot hat of the old doctor, his +grandson.</p> + +<p><i>Mademoiselle's</i> shoulders, and especially her swelling stern danced +about wildly in this old fashioned coat and wide trousers. And nothing +was as funny as the contrast between his quiet dress and slow trotting +pace, the winning way he combed his head, and the conceited movements +of his hands, with which he fanned himself, like a silly girl.</p> + +<p>Soon the older lads and the girls, the old women, men of ripe age and +even the Judicial Councilor joined the little brats, and hooted +<i>Mademoiselle</i>, while the astonished idiot ran away, and rushed into the +house with terror. There he took his poor head between both hands, and +tried to comprehend the matter. Why were they angry with him? For it was +quite evident that they were angry with him. What wrong had he done, and +whom had he injured, by dressing as a boy? Was he not a boy, after all? +For the first time in his life, he felt a horror for his nickname, for +had he not been insulted through it? But immediately he was seized with +a horrible doubt.</p> + +<p>"Suppose that, after all, I was a girl?"</p> + +<p>He would have liked to ask his guardian about it but he did not want to, +for he somehow felt, although only obscurely, that he, worthy man, might +not tell him the truth, out of kindness. And, besides, he preferred to +find out for himself, without asking anyone.</p> + +<p>All his idiot's cunning, which had been lying latent up till then, +because he never had any occasion to make use of it, now came out and +urged him to a solitary and dark action.</p> + +<p>The next day he dressed himself as a girl again, and made his appearance +as if he had perfectly forgotten his escapade of the day before, but the +people, especially the street boys, had not forgotten it. They looked at +him sideways, and, even the best of them, could not help smiling, while +the little blackguards ran after him and said:</p> + +<p>"Oh! oh! <i>Mademoiselle</i>, you had on a pair of breeches!"</p> + +<p>But he pretended to hear, moreover, to guess to whom they were alluding. +He seemed as happy, and glad to look about him as he usually did, with +half open lips and smiling eyes. As usual, he wore an enormous cap with +variegated ribbons, and large petticoats as usual, he walked with short, +mincing steps, swaying and wriggling his hips and crupper, and he +gesticulated like a coquette, and licked his lips, when they called him +<i>Mademoiselle</i>, while in his head, he would have liked too have jumped +at the throat of those who called him so.</p> + +<p>Days and months passed, and by degrees these about him forgot all about +his strange escapade, but he had never left off thinking about it, nor +trying to find out, for which he was ever on the alert—how he could +find out what were his qualities as a boy, and how could he assert them +victoriously. Really innocent, he had reached the age of twenty without +knowing anything about it, or without ever having any natural impulse to +discover it, but being tenacious of purpose, curious and dissembling, he +asked no questions, but observed all that was said and done.</p> + +<p>Often at their village dances, he had heard young fellows boasting about +girls whom they had seduced, and praising such and such a young fellow, +and often, also, after a dance, he saw the couples go away together, +with their arms round each other's waists. They had no suspicions of +him, and he listened and watched, until, at last, he discovered what was +going on.</p> + +<p>And, then, one night, when dancing was over, and the couples were going +away with their arms round each other's waists, a terrible screaming was +heard at the corner of the woods through which those going to the next +village, had to pass. It was Josephine, pretty Josephine, for she was +brave as well, and when her screams were heard, they ran to her +assistance, and they arrived only just in time to rescue her, half +strangled from <i>Mademoiselle's</i> clutches.</p> + +<p>The idiot had watched her, and had thrown himself upon her in order to +treat her as the other young fellows did the girls, but she resisted him +so stoutly that he took her by the throat and squeezed with all his +might until she could not breathe, and was nearly dead.</p> + +<p>In rescuing Josephine from him, they had thrown him on the ground, but +he jumped up again immediately, foaming at the mouth and slobbering, and +exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"I am not a girl any longer, I am a young man, I am a young man, I tell +you."</p> + +<p>And he proudly essayed to convince them that it was so, but the evidence +that he could adduce was very slight.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_MOUNTEBANKS" id="THE_MOUNTEBANKS"></a>THE MOUNTEBANKS</h2> + + +<p>Compardin, the clever manage of the <i>Eden Réunis Théâtre</i>, as the +theater critics invariably called him, was reckoning on a great success, +and he had invested his last franc in the affair, without thinking of +the morrow, or of the bad luck which had been pursuing him so inexorably +for months past. For a whole week, the walls, the kiosks, shopfronts, +and even the trees, had been placarded with flaming posters, and from +one end of Paris to the other carriages were to be seen which were +covered with fancy sketches of Chéret, that represented two strong, +well-built men who looked like ancient athletes. The younger of them, +who was standing with his arms folded, had the vacant smile of an +itinerant mountebank on his face, and the other, who was dressed in what +was supposed to be the costume of a Mexican trapper, held a revolver in +his hand. There were large type advertisements in all the papers, that +the Montefiores would appear without fail at the <i>Eden Réunis</i>, the next +Monday.</p> + +<p>Nothing else was talked about, for the puff and humbug attracted people. +The Montefiores, like fashionable knicknacks, succeeded that whimsical +jade, Rose Péché, who had gone off the preceding autumn, between the +third and fourth acts of the burlesque, <i>Ousca Iscar</i>, in order to make +a study of love in company of a young fellow of seventeen, who had just +entered the university. The novelty and difficulty of their performance, +revived and agitated the curiosity of the public, for there seemed to +be an implied threat of death, or, at any rate, of wounds and of blood +in it, and it seemed as if they defied danger with absolute +indifference. And that always pleased women; it holds them and masters +them, and they grow pale with emotion and cruel enjoyment. Consequently, +all the seats in the large theater were let almost immediately, and were +soon taken for several days in advance. And stout Compardin losing his +glass of absinthe over a game of dominoes, was in high spirits, and saw +the future through rosy glasses, and exclaimed in a loud voice: "I think +I have turned up trumps, by George!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The Countess Regina de Villégby was lying on the sofa in her boudoir, +languidly fanning herself. She had only received three or four intimate +friends that day, Saint Mars Montalvin, Tom Sheffield, and his cousin, +Madame de Rhouel, a Creole, who laughed as incessantly as a bird sings. +It was growing dusk, and the distant rumbling of the carriages in the +Avenue of the Champs-Elysées sounded like some somnolent rhythm. There +was a delicate perfume of flowers; the lamps had not been brought in +yet, and chatting and laughing filled the room with a confused noise.</p> + +<p>"Would you pour out the tea?" the Countess said, suddenly, touching +Saint Mars' fingers, who was beginning an amorous conversation in a low +voice, with her fan. And while he slowly filled the little china cup, he +continued: "Are the Montefiores as good as the lying newspapers make +out?"</p> + +<p>Then Tom Sheffield and the others all joined in.</p> + +<p>They had never seen anything like it, they declared; it was most +exciting, and made one shiver unpleasantly, like when the <i>espada</i> +comes to close quarters with the infuriated brute at a bull fight.</p> + +<p>Countess Regina listened in silence, and nibbled the petals of a tea +rose.</p> + +<p>"How I should like to see them!" giddy Madame de Rhouel exclaimed.</p> + +<p>"Unfortunately, cousin," the Countess said, in the solemn tones of a +preacher, "a respectable woman dare not let herself be seen in improper +places."</p> + +<p>They all agreeing with her, nevertheless, Madame de Villégby was present +at the Montefiores' performance two days later, dressed all in black, +and wearing a thick veil, at the back of a stage box.</p> + +<p>And that woman was as cold as a steel buckler, and had married as soon +as she left the convent in which she had been to school, without any +affection or even liking for her husband, whom the most skeptical +respected as a saint, and who had a look of virgin purity on her calm +face as she went down the steps of the Madeleine on Sundays, after high +mass.</p> + +<p>Countess Regina stretched herself nervously, grew pale, and trembled +like the strings of a violin, on which an artist had been playing some +wild symphony, and inhaled the nasty smell of the sawdust, as if it had +been the perfume of a bouquet of unknown flowers, and clenched her +hands, and gazed eagerly at the two mountebanks, whom the public +applauded rapturously at every feat. And contemptuously and haughtily +she compared those two men, who were as vigorous as wild animals that +have grown up in the open air, with the rickety limbs, which look so +awkward in the dress of an English groom, that had tried to inflame her +heart.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Count de Villégby had gone back to the country, to prepare for his +election as Councilor-General, and the very evening that he started, +Regina again took the stage box at the <i>Eden Réunis</i>. Consumed by +sensual ardor as if by some love philter, she scribbled a few words on a +piece of paper—the eternal formula that women write on such occasions:</p> + +<p>"A carriage will be waiting for you at the stage door after the +performance—An unknown woman who adores you."</p> + +<p>And then she gave it to a box opener, who handed it to the Montefiore +who was the champion pistol shot.</p> + +<p>Oh! that interminable waiting in a malodorous cab, the overwhelming +emotion, and the nausea of disgust, the fear, the desire of waking the +coachman who was nodding on the box, of giving him her address, and +telling him to drive her home. But she remained with her face against +the window, mechanically looking at the dark passage, that was +illuminated by a gas lamp, at the "actors' entrance," through which men +were continually hurrying, who talked in a loud voice, and chewed the +end of a cigar which had gone out. She remained as if she were glued to +the cushions, and tapped impatiently on the bottom of the cab with her +heels.</p> + +<p>When the actor who thought it was a joke, made his appearance, she could +hardly utter a word, for evil pleasure is as intoxicating as adulterated +liquor, so face to face with this immediate surrender, and this +unconstrained immodesty, he at first thought that he had to do with a +street walker.</p> + +<p>Regina felt various sensations, and a morbid pleasure throughout her +whole person. She pressed close to him, and raised her veil to show how +young, beautiful, and desirable she was. They did not speak a word, like +wrestlers before a combat. She was eager to be locked up with him, to +give herself to him, and, at last, to know that moral uncleanness, of +which, she was, of course, ignorant, as a chaste wife; and when they +left the room in the hotel together, where they had spent hours like +amorous deer, the man dragged himself along, and almost groped his way +like a blind man, while Regina was smiling, though nevertheless, she +retained her serene candor of an unsullied virgin, like she did almost +always on Sundays, after mass.</p> + +<p>Then she took the second. He was very sentimental, and his head was full +of romance. He thought the unknown woman, who merely used him as her +plaything, really loved him, and he was not satisfied with furtive +meetings. He questioned her, besought her, and the Countess made fun of +him. Then she chose the two Mountebanks in turn. They did not know it, +for she had forbidden them ever to talk about her to each other, under +the penalty of never seeing her again, and one night the younger of them +said with humble tenderness, as he knelt at her feet:</p> + +<p>"How kind you are, to love and to want me! I thought that such happiness +only existed in novels, and that ladies of rank only made fun of poor +strolling Mountebanks, like us!"</p> + +<p>Regina knitted her golden brows.</p> + +<p>"Do not be angry," he continued, "because I followed you and found out +where you lived, and your real name, and that you are a countess, and +rich, very rich."</p> + +<p>"You fool!" she exclaimed, trembling with anger. "People would make you +believe things, as easily as they would a child!"</p> + +<p>She had had enough of him; he knew her name, and might compromise her. +The Count might possibly come back from the country before the +elections, and then, the Mountebank began to love her. She no longer had +any feeling, any desire for those two lovers, whom a fillip from her +rosy fingers could bend to her will. It was time to go on to the next +chapter, and to seek for fresh pleasures elsewhere.</p> + +<p>"Listen to me," she said to the champion shot, the next night. "I would +rather not hide anything from you. I like your comrade; I have given +myself to him, and I do not want to have anything more to do with you."</p> + +<p>"My comrade!" he repeated.</p> + +<p>"Well, what then? The change amuses me!"</p> + +<p>He uttered a furious cry, and rushed at Regina with clenched fists. She +thought he was going to kill her, and closed her eyes, but he had not +the courage to hurt that delicate body, which he had so often covered +with caresses, and in despair, and hanging his head, he said hoarsely:</p> + +<p>"Very well, we shall not meet again, since it is your wish."</p> + +<p>The house at the <i>Eden Réunis</i> was as full as an over-filled basket The +violins were playing a soft and delightful waltz of Gungl's, which the +reports of a revolver accentuated.</p> + +<p>The Montefiores were standing opposite to one another, like in Chéret's +picture, and about a dozen yards apart, and an electric light was thrown +on to the youngest, who was leaning against a large white target, and +very slowly the other traced his living outline with bullet after +bullet. He aimed with prodigious skill, and the black dots showed on the +cardboard, and marked the shape of his body. The applause drowned the +orchestra, and increased continually, when suddenly a shrill cry of +horror resounded from one end of the hall to the other. The women +fainted, the violins stopped, and the spectators jostled each other. At +the ninth ball, the younger brother had fallen to the ground, an inert +mass, with a gaping wound in his forehead. His brother did not move, and +there was a look of madness on his face, while the Countess de Villégby +leaned on the ledge of her box, and fanned herself calmly, as implacable +as any cruel goddess of ancient mythology.</p> + +<p>The next day, between four and five, when she was surrounded by her +usual friends in her little, warm, Japanese drawing room, it was strange +to hear in what a languid and indifferent voice she exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"They say that an accident happened to one of those famous clowns, the +Monta ... the Monti ... what is his name, Tom?"</p> + +<p>"The Montefiores, Madame!"</p> + +<p>And then they began to talk about the sale at Angéle Velours, who was +going to buy the former follies, at the hotel Drouot, before marrying +Prince Storbeck.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_SEQUEL_TO_A_DIVORCE" id="THE_SEQUEL_TO_A_DIVORCE"></a>THE SEQUEL TO A DIVORCE</h2> + + +<p>Certainly, although he had been engaged in the most extraordinary, most +unlikely, most extravagant and funniest cases, and had won legal games +without a trump in his hand, although he had worked out the obscure law +of divorce, as if it had been a Californian gold mine Maitre<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> +Garrulier the celebrated, the only Garrulier, could not check a movement +of surprise, nor a disheartening shake of the head, nor a smile when the +Countess de Baudémont explained her affairs to him for the first time.</p> + +<p>He had just opened his correspondence, and his long hands, on which he +bestowed the greatest attention, buried themselves in a heap of female +letters, and one might have thought oneself in the confessional of a +fashionable preacher, so impregnated was the atmosphere with delicate +perfumes.</p> + +<p>Immediately, even before she had said a word, with the sharp glance of a +practiced man of the world, that look which made beautiful Madame de +Serpenoise say: "He strips your heart bare!" The lawyer had classed her +in the third category. Those who suffer came into his first category, +those who love, into the second, and those who are bored, into the +third, and she belonged to the latter.</p> + +<p>She was a pretty windmill, whose sails turned and flew round, and +fretted the blue sky with a delicious shiver of joy, as it were. The +brain of a bird, in which four correct and healthy ideas could not exist +side by side, and in which all dreams and every kind of folly are +engulfed, like a great crevice.</p> + +<p>Incapable of hurting a fly, emotional, charitable, with a feeling of +tenderness for the street girl who sold bunches of violets for a penny, +for a cab horse, which a driver was ill using, for a melancholy pauper's +funeral, when the body, without friends or relations to follow it, was +being conveyed to the common grave, doing anything that might afford +five minutes' amusement, not caring if she made men miserable for the +rest of their days, and taking pleasure in kindling passions which +consumed men's whole being, looking upon life as too short to be +anything else than one uninterrupted round of gaiety and enjoyment, she +thought that people might find plenty of time for being serious and +reasonable in the evening of life, when they are at the bottom of the +hill, and their looking glass showed them a wrinkled face, surrounded +with white hair.</p> + +<p>A thoroughbred Parisian, whom one would follow to the end of the world +like a poodle; a woman whom one adores with the head, the heart and the +senses until one is nearly driven mad, as soon as one has inhaled the +delicate perfume that emanates from her dress and hair, or touched her +skin, and heard her laugh; a woman for whom one would fight a duel and +risk one's life without a thought; for whom a man would remove +mountains, and sell his soul to the devil several times over, if the +devil were still in the habit of frequenting the places of bad repute on +this earth.</p> + +<p>She had perhaps come to see this Garrulier, whom she had so often heard +mentioned at five o'clock tea, near, so as to be able to describe him to +her female friends subsequently in droll phrases, to imitate his +gestures and the unctuous inflections of his voice, perhaps, in order to +experience some new sensation, or, perhaps, for the sake of dressing +like a woman who was going to try for a divorce; and, certainly, the +whole effect was perfect. She wore a splendid cloak embroidered with +jet, which gave an almost serious effect to her golden hair, to her +small slightly turned up nose, with its quivering nostrils, and to her +long eyes, full of enigmas and fun; and a dark stuff dress, which was +fastened at the neck by a sapphire and a diamond pin.</p> + +<p>The barrister did not interrupt her, but allowed her to get excited and +to chatter, to enumerate her causes for complaint against poor Count de +Baudémont, who certainly had no suspicion of his wife's escapade, who +would have been very much surprised if any one had told him of it at +that moment, when he was taking his fencing lesson at the club.</p> + +<p>When she had quite finished, he said coolly, as if he were throwing a +pail of water on some burning straw.</p> + +<p>"But, Madame, there is not the slightest pretext for a divorce in +anything that you have told me, here...the judges would ask me whether I +took the Law Courts for a theater, and intended to make fun of them."</p> + +<p>And seeing how disheartened she was, and that she looked like a child +whose favorite toy had been broken, and, also, because she was so +pretty, that he would have liked to kiss her hands in his devotion, and +as she seemed to be witty, and very amusing, and as, moreover, he had no +objection to such visits being prolonged, when papers had to be looked +over, while sitting close together, Maitre Garrulier appeared to be +considering, and, taking his chin in his hand, he said:</p> + +<p>"However, I will think it over...there is sure to be some dark spot that +can be made out worse.... Write to me, and come and see me again..."</p> + +<p>In the course of her visits, that black spot had increased so much, and +Madame de Baudémont had followed her lawyer's advice so punctually, and +had played on the various cords so skillfully, a few months later, that +after a lawsuit, which is still spoken of in the Courts of Justice, and +during the course of which, the President had to take off his +spectacles, and to use his pocket-handkerchief noisily, the divorce was +pronounced in favor of the Countess Marie Anne Nicole Bournet de +Baudémont, <i>née</i> de Tanchart de Peothus.</p> + +<p>The Count, who was nonplussed at such an adventure, which was turning +out so seriously, first of all, flew into a terrible rage, and nearly +rushed off to the lawyer's office, and threatened to cut off his knavish +ears for him, but when his access of fury was over, and thinking better +of it, he shrugged his shoulders and said:</p> + +<p>"All the better for her, if it amuses her!"</p> + +<p>Then he bought Baron Silberstein's yacht, and with some friends, got up +a cruise, to Ceylon and India.</p> + +<p>Marie-Anne began by triumphing, and felt as happy as a schoolgirl going +home for the holidays, who feels the bridle on her neck, committed every +possible folly, and soon, tired, satiated, and disgusted, she began to +yawn, cried and found out that she had sacrificed her happiness, like a +millionaire who had gone mad, and who threw his banknotes and shares +into the river, and that she was nothing more than a disabled waif and +stray. Consequently, she now married again, as the solitude of her home +made her morose from morning till night; and then, besides, a woman +requires a mansion when she goes into society, to race meetings, or to +the theater.</p> + +<p>And so, while she became a marchioness, and pronounced her second "Yes," +before a very few friends, at the office of the mayor of the English +urban district, and malicious ones in the Faurbourg were making fun of +the whole affair, and affirming this and that, whether rightly or +wrongly, and compromising the present husband to the former one, even +declaring that he had partially been the cause of the former divorce, +Monsieur de Baudémont was wandering over the four quarters of the globe +trying to overcome his homesickness, and to deaden his longing for love, +which had taken possession of his heart and of his body, like a slow +poison.</p> + +<p>He traveled through the most out of the way places, and the most lovely +countries, and spent months and months at sea, and plunged into every +kind of dissipation and debauchery. But neither the supple backs nor the +luxurious gestures of the <i>bayaderés</i>, nor the large, passive eyes of +the Creoles, nor flirtations with English <i>missives</i> with hair the color +of new cider, nor nights of waking dreams, when he saw new +constellations in the sky, nor dangers during which a man thinks it is +all over with him, and mutters a few words of prayer in spite of +himself, when the waves are so high, and the sky so black, nothing was +able to make him forget that little Parisian woman who smelled so +delicious that she might have been taken for a bouquet of rare flowers; +who was so coaxing, so curious, so funny; who never had the same +caprice, the same smile, or the same look twice, and who, at bottom, was +worth more than many others, than the saints and the sinless.</p> + +<p>He thought of her constantly, during long hours of sleeplessness. He +carried her portrait about with him in the pocket of his pea-jacket; a +charming portrait in which she was smiling, and showing her white teeth +between her half-open lips, and while her gentle eyes, with their +magnetic look, had a happy, frank expression, and in which, from the +mere reflection of her hair, one could see that she was fair among the +fair.</p> + +<p>And he used to kiss that portrait of the woman who had been his wife as +if he wished to efface it, and would look at it for hours, and then +throw himself down on the netting, and sob like a child as he looked at +the infinite expanse before him, and seemed to see in their lost +happiness the joys of their perished affections, and the divine +remembrance of their love in the monotonous waste of green waters. And +he tried to accuse himself for all that had occurred, and not to be +angry with her, to think that his grievances were imaginary, and to +adore her in spite of everything and always.</p> + +<p>And that he roamed about the world, tossed to and fro, suffering, and +hoping, he knew not what. He ventured into the greatest dangers, and +sought for death just as a man seeks for his mistress, and death passed +close to him without touching him, and was perhaps amused at his grief +and misery.</p> + +<p>For he was as wretched as a stone-breaker, as one of those poor devils +who work and nearly break their backs over the hard flints the whole day +long, under the scorching sun or the cold rain, and Marie-Anne herself +was not happy, for she was pining for the past, and remembered their +former love.</p> + +<p>At last, however, he returned to France, changed, tamed by exposure, +sun, and rain, and transformed as if by some witch's filter.</p> + +<p>Nobody would have recognized the elegant and effeminate clubman in this +species of corsair, with broad shoulders, a skin the color of blister, +with very red lips, and who rolled a little in his walk; who seemed to +be stifled in his black dress-coat, but who still retained his +distinguished manners, the bearing of a nobleman of the last century, +who, when he was ruined, fitted out a privateer, and fell upon the +English wherever he met them, from St. Malo to Calcutta. And wherever he +showed himself his friends exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"Why! Is that you? I should never have known you again!"</p> + +<p>He was very nearly starting off again immediately. He even telegraphed +orders to Havre to get the steam-yacht ready for sea again directly, +when he heard that Marie-Anne had married again.</p> + +<p>He saw her in the distance, at the <i>Théâtre Français</i> one Tuesday, and +when he noticed how pretty, how fair, how desirable she was, and looking +so melancholy, with all the appearance of an unhappy soul that regrets +something, his determination grew weaker, and he delayed his departure +from week to week, and waited, without knowing why, until, at last, worn +out with the struggle, watching her wherever she went, more in love with +her than he had ever been before, he wrote her long, mad, ardent letters +in which his passion overflowed like a stream of lava.</p> + +<p>He altered his handwriting, as he remembered her restless brain and her +many whims. He sent her the flowers which he knew she liked best, and +told her that she was his life, that he was dying of waiting for her, of +longing for her, for her, his idol.</p> + +<p>At last, very much puzzled and surprised, guessing—who knows?—from the +instinctive beating of her heart, and her general emotion, that it must +be he this time, he whose soul she had tortured with such cold cruelty, +and knowing that she could make amends for the past and bring back their +former love, she replied to him, and granted him the meeting that he +asked for. She fell into his arms, and they both sobbed with joy and +ecstasy. Their kisses were those which lips only give when they have +lost each other and found each other again at last, when they meet and +exhaust themselves in each other's looks, thirsting for tenderness, love +and enjoyment.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Last week Count de Baudémont carried off Marie-Anne quietly and coolly, +just like one resumes possession of one's house on returning from a +journey, and drives out the intruders. And when <i>Maitre</i> Garrulier was +told of this unheard-of scandal, he rubbed his hands—his long, delicate +hands of a sensual prelate—and exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"That is absolutely logical, and I should like to be in their place."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_MAN_WITH_THE_DOGS" id="THE_MAN_WITH_THE_DOGS"></a>THE MAN WITH THE DOGS</h2> + + +<p>His wife, even when talking to him, always called him Monsieur Bistaud, +but in all the country round, within a radius of ten leagues in France +and Belgium, he was known as <i>cet homme aux chiens</i><a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a>. It was not a +very valuable reputation, however, and "That man with the dogs" became a +sort of pariah.</p> + +<p>In Thierache they are not very fond of the custom-house officers, for +everybody, high or low, profits by smuggling; thanks to which many +articles, and especially coffee, gunpowder and tobacco are to be had +cheap. It may here be stated that on that wooded, broken country, where +the meadows are surrounded by brushwood, and the lanes are dark and +narrow, smuggling is chiefly carried on by means of sporting dogs, who +are broken in to become smuggling dogs. Scarcely an evening passes +without some of them being seen, loaded with contraband, trotting +silently along, pushing their noses through a hole in a hedge, with +furtive and uneasy looks, and sniffing the air to scent the custom-house +officers and their dogs. These dogs also are specially trained, and are +very ferocious, and easily rip up their unfortunate congeners, who +become the game instead of hunting for it.</p> + +<p>Now, nobody was capable of imparting this unnatural education to them so +well as "the man with his dogs," whose business consisted in breaking in +dogs for the custom-house authorities, and everybody looked upon it as +a dirty business, a business which could only be performed by a man +without any proper feeling.</p> + +<p>"He is a men's robber," the women said, "to take honest dogs into nurse, +and to make a lot of Judas's out of them."</p> + +<p>While the boys shouted insulting verses behind his back, the men and the +women abused him, but no one ventured to do it to his face, for he was +not very patient, and was always accompanied by one of his huge dogs, +and that served to make him respected.</p> + +<p>Certainly, without that bodyguard, he would have had a bad time of it, +especially at the hands of the smugglers, who had a deadly hatred for +him. By himself, and in spite of his quarrelsome looks, he did not +appear very formidable, for he was short and thin, his back was round, +his legs were bandy, and his arms were as long and as thin as spiders' +legs, and he could easily have been knocked down by a back-handed blow +or a kick. But then, he had those confounded dogs which interfered with +the bravest smugglers. How could they risk even a thrust when he had +those huge brutes, with their fierce and bloodshot eyes, and their +square heads, whose jaws were like a vise, with enormous white teeth, +that were as sharp as daggers, and whose huge molars crunched up +beef-bones to a pulp with them? They were wonderfully broken in, were +always by him, obeyed him by signs, and were taught, not only to worry +the smugglers' dogs, but also to fly at the throats of the smugglers +themselves.</p> + +<p>The consequence was that both he and his dogs were left alone, and +people were satisfied in calling them names and sending them all to +Coventry. No peasant ever set foot in his cottage, although Bistaud's +wife kept a small shop and was a handsome woman, and the only persons +who went there were the custom-house officers. The others took their +revenge on them all by saying that the man with the dogs sold his wife +to the custom-house officers, like he did his dogs.</p> + +<p>"He keeps her for them, as well as his dogs," they said jeeringly. "You +can see that he is a born cuckold with his yellow beard and eyebrows, +which stick up like a pair of horns."</p> + +<p>His hair was certainly red, or rather yellow, his thick eyebrows were +turned up in two points on his temples, and he used to twirl them +mechanically as if they had been a pair of moustaches. And certainly, +with his hair like that, and with his long beard and shaggy eyebrows, +with his sallow face, blinking eyes, and dull looks, with his dogged +mouth, thin lips, and his miserable, deformed body, he was not a +pleasing object.</p> + +<p>But he assuredly was not a complaisant cuckold, and those who have said +that of him had never seen him at home. On the contrary, he was always +jealous, and kept as sharp a lookout on his wife as he did on his dogs, +and if he had broken her in at all, it was to be as faithful to him as +they were.</p> + +<p>She was a handsome, and what they call in the country, a fine body of a +woman; tall, well-built, with a full bust and broad breech, and she +certainly made more than one excise man squint at her, but it was no use +for them to come and sniff round her too closely, or else there would +have been blows. At least, that is what the custom-house officers said +when anybody joked with them and said to them: "That does not matter, no +doubt, you and she have hunted for your fleas together."</p> + +<p>It was no use for them to defend Madame Bistaud's fierce virtue; nobody +believed them, and the only answer they got was: "You are hiding your +game, and are ashamed of going to seduce a woman who belongs to such a +wretched creature."</p> + +<p>And, certainly, nobody would have believed that such a buxom woman, who +looked as if her crupper were as warm as her looks, and who assuredly +must have liked to be well attended to, could be satisfied with such a +puny husband; with such an ugly, weak, red-headed fellow, who smelled of +his own hair and of the mustiness of the carrion which he gave to his +hounds.</p> + +<p>But they did not know that "the man with the dogs" had some years before +given her, once for all, a lesson in fidelity, and that for a mere +trifle, and that for a venial sin! He had surprised her for allowing +herself to be kissed by some gallant; that was all! He had not taken any +notice, but when the man was gone he brought two of his hounds into the +room, and said:</p> + +<p>"If you do not want them to tear your inside out as they would a +rabbit's, go down on your knees so that I may thrash you!"</p> + +<p>She obeyed in terror, and "the man with the dogs" had beaten her with a +whip until his arm dropped with fatigue. And she did not venture to +scream, although she was bleeding under the blows of the thong, which +tore her dress, and cut into the flesh; all she dared to do was to utter +low, hoarse groans; for while beating her, he kept on saying:</p> + +<p>"Don't make a noise, by ——; don't make a noise, or I will let the dogs +fly at your stern."</p> + +<p>From that time she had been faithful to Bistaud, though she had +naturally not told anyone the reason for it, nor for her hatred either, +not even Bistaud himself, who thought that she was subdued for all time, +and who always found her very submissive and respectful. But for six +years she had nourished her hatred in her heart, feeding it on silent +hopes and promises of revenge. And it was that flame of hope and that +longing for revenge which made her so coquettish with the custom-house +officers, for she hoped to find a possible avenger among her inflammable +admirers.</p> + +<p>At last she came across the right man. He was a splendid sub-officer of +the customs, built like a Hercules, with fists like a butcher's, and who +had long leased four of his ferocious dogs from her husband.</p> + +<p>As soon as they had grown accustomed to their new master, and especially +after they had tasted flesh of the smugglers' dogs, they had, by +degrees, become detached from their former master, who had reared them. +No doubt they still recognized him a little, and would not have sprung +at his throat as if he had been a perfect stranger, but still, they did +not hesitate between his voice and that of their new master, and they +obeyed the latter only.</p> + +<p>Although the woman had often noticed this, she had not hitherto been +able to make much use of the circumstance. A custom-house officer, as a +rule, only keeps one dog, and this fellow always had half-a-dozen, at +least, in training, without reckoning a personal guard which he kept for +himself and which was the fiercest of all. Consequently, any duel +between some lover assisted by only one dog, and the dog-breaker +defended by his pack, was impossible.</p> + +<p>But on that occasion, the chances were more equal. Just then he had only +five dogs in the kennel, and two of them were quite young, though +certainly old <i>Bourreau</i><a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> counted for several, but after all, they +could risk a battle against him and the other three, with the two +couples of the custom-house officer, and they must profit by the +occasion.</p> + +<p>And one fine evening, as the brigadier of the custom-house officers was +alone in the shop with Bistaud's wife and was squeezing her waist, she +said to him abruptly:</p> + +<p>"Do you really want to have something to do with me, <i>Môssieu</i><a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> +Fernand?"</p> + +<p>He kissed her on the lips as he replied: "Do I really want to? I would +give my stripes for it; so you see...."</p> + +<p>"Very well," she replied, "do as I tell you, and upon my word, as an +honest woman, I will be your commodity to do what you like with."</p> + +<p>And laying a stress on that word <i>commodity</i>, which in that part of the +country means mistress, she whispered hotly into his ear:</p> + +<p>"A commodity who knows her business, I can tell you, for my beast of a +husband has trained me up in such a way that I am now absolutely +disgusted with him."</p> + +<p>Fernand, who was much excited, promised her everything that she wished, +and feverishly, malignantly, she told him how shamefully her husband had +treated her a short time before, how her fair skin had been cut, told +him her hatred and thirst for revenge; and the brigadier acquiesced, and +that same evening he came to the cottage accompanied by his four hounds, +with their spiked collars on.</p> + +<p>"What are you going to do with them?" "the man with the dogs" asked.</p> + +<p>"I have come to see whether you did not rob me when you sold them to +me," the brigadier replied.</p> + +<p>"What do you mean by 'robbed you'?"</p> + +<p>"Well, robbed! I have been told that they could not tackle a dog like +your <i>Bourreau</i>, and that many smugglers have dogs who are as good as he +is."</p> + +<p>"Impossible."</p> + +<p>"Well, in case any of them should have one, I should like to see how the +dogs that you sold me could tackle them."</p> + +<p>The woman laughed an evil laugh, and her husband grew suspicious, when +he saw that the brigadier replied to it by a wink. But his suspicions +came too late. The <i>breaker</i> had no time to go to the kennel to let out +his pack, for <i>Bourreau</i> had been seized by the custom-house officer's +four dogs. At the same time the woman locked the door, and already her +husband was lying motionless on the floor, while <i>Bourreau</i> could not go +to his assistance, as he had enough to do to defend himself against the +furious attack of the other dogs, who were almost tearing him to pieces, +in spite of his strength and courage. Five minutes later two of the +attacking hounds were totally disabled with the bowels protruding, but +<i>Bourreau</i> himself was dying, with his throat gaping.</p> + +<p>Then the woman and the custom-house officer kissed each other before the +breaker whom they bound firmly, while the two dogs of the custom-house +officer, that were still on their legs, were panting for breath, and the +other three were wallowing in their own blood, and while the amorous +couple were carrying on all sorts of capers, who were still further +excited by the rage of the dog-breaker, who was forced to look at them, +and who shouted in his despair:</p> + +<p>"You wretches! You shall pay for this!" And the woman's only reply was, +to say: "Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold!"</p> + +<p>When she was tired of larking, her hatred was not yet satisfied, and she +said to the brigadier:</p> + +<p>"Fernand, go to the kennels and shoot the five other brutes; otherwise +he will make them kill me to-morrow. Off you go, old fellow!"</p> + +<p>The brigadier obeyed, and immediately five shots were heard in the +darkness. It did not take long, but that short time had been enough for +"the man with the dogs" to show what he could do. While he was tied, the +two dogs of the custom-house officer had gradually recognized him, and +came and fondled him, and as soon as he was alone with his wife, as she +was insulting him, he said, in his usual voice of command to the dogs:</p> + +<p>"At her, Flanbard! At her, Garou!" And the two dogs sprang at the +wretched woman, and one seized her by the throat, while the other caught +her by the side.</p> + +<p>When the brigadier came back, she was dying on the ground in a pool of +blood, and "the man with the dogs" said with a laugh: "There, you see, +that is the way I break in my dogs!"</p> + +<p>The custom-house officer rushed out in horror, followed by his hounds +who licked his hands as they ran, and made them quite red.</p> + +<p>The next morning "the man with the dogs" was found still bound, but +chuckling, in his hovel that was turned into a slaughter-house.</p> + +<p>They were both arrested and tried, when "the man with the dogs" was +acquitted, and the brigadier sentenced to a term of imprisonment. The +matter gave much food for talk in the district, and is, indeed, still +talked about, for "the man with the dogs" returned there, and is more +celebrated than ever under his nickname, but his celebrity is not of a +bad kind, for he is now just as much respected and liked as he was +despised and hated formerly. He is still, as a matter of fact, "the man +with the dogs," as he is rightly called, for he has not his equal as a +dog-breaker for leagues around, but now he no longer breaks in mastiffs, +as he has given up teaching honest dogs to "act the part of Judas," as +he says, for those dirty custom-house officers, and now he only devotes +himself to dogs to be used for smuggling, and he is worth listening to +when he says:</p> + +<p>"You may depend upon it, that I know how to punish such commodities as +she was, where they have sinned!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_CLOWN" id="THE_CLOWN"></a>THE CLOWN</h2> + + +<p>The hawkers' cottage stood at the end of the Esplanade, on the little +promontory where the jetty is, where all the winds, all the rain, and +all the spray met. The hut, both walls and roof, was built of old +planks, more or less covered with tar, whose chinks were stopped with +oakum, and dry wreckage was heaped up against it. In the middle of the +room an iron pot stood on two bricks, and served as a stove, when they +had any coal, but as there was no chimney, it filled the room, which was +ventilated only by a low door, with smoke, and there the whole crew +lived, eighteen men and one woman. Some had undergone various terms of +imprisonment, and nobody knew what the others were, but though they were +all, more or less, suffering from some physical defect and were nearly +old men, they were still all strong enough for hauling. For the "Chamber +of Commerce" tolerated them there, and allowed them that hovel to live +in, on condition that they should be ready to haul, by day and by night.</p> + +<p>For every vessel they hauled, each got a penny by day and two-pence by +night, but that was not certain, on account of the competition of +retired sailors, fishermen's wives, laborers who had nothing to do, but +who were all stronger than those half-starved wretches in the hut.</p> + +<p>And yet they lived there, those eighteen men and one woman. Were they +happy? Certainly not. Hopeless? Not that, either; for they occasionally +got a little besides their scanty pay, and then they stole occasionally, +fish, lumps of coal, things without any value to those who lost them, +but of great value to the poor, beggarly thieves.</p> + +<p>The eighteen kept the woman, and there was no jealousy on her account. +She had no special favorite among them.</p> + +<p>She was a fat woman of about forty, chubby faced and puffy, and of whom +Daddy La Bretagne, who was one of the eighteen, used to say: "She does +us honor."</p> + +<p>If she had had a favorite among them, Daddy La Bretagne would certainly +have had the greatest right to that privilege, for although he was one +of the most crippled among them, as he was partially paralyzed in his +legs, he showed himself skillful and strong-armed as any of them, and in +spite of his infirmities, he always managed to secure a good place in +the row of haulers. None of them knew as well as he did how to inspire +visitors with pity during the season, and to make them put their hands +into the pockets, and he was a past master at cadging, so that among +those empty stomachs and penniless rascals he had windfalls of victuals +and coppers more frequently than fell to his share. But he did not make +use of them in order to monopolize their common mistress.</p> + +<p>"I am just," he used to say. "Let each of us have his spoonful in turn, +and no more, when we are all eating out of the same dish."</p> + +<p>With the coal he picked up, he used to make a good fire for the whole +band under the iron pot, in which he cooked whatever he brought home +with him, without any complaining about it, for he used to say:</p> + +<p>"It gives you a good fire in which to warm yourselves, for nothing, and +the smell of my stew into the bargain."</p> + +<p>As for his money, he spent in drink with the trollop, and afterwards, +what was left of it, with the other eighteen.</p> + +<p>"You see," he used to say, "I am just, and more than just. I give her up +to you, because it is your right."</p> + +<p>The consequence was that they all liked Daddy La Bretagne, so that he +gloried in it, and said proudly:</p> + +<p>"What a pity that we are living under the Republic! These fellows would +think nothing of making me king."</p> + +<p>And one day, when he said this, his trollop replied: "The king is here, +old fellow!" And at the same time she presented a new comrade to them, +who was no less ragged or wretched looking than the eighteen, but quite +young by the size of him. He was a tall, thin fellow of about forty, and +without a white streak in his long hair. He was dressed only in a pair +of trousers and a shirt, which he wore outside them, like a blouse, and +the trollop said:</p> + +<p>"Here, Daddy La Bretagne, you have two knitted vests on, so just give +him one."</p> + +<p>"Why should I?" the hauler asked.</p> + +<p>"Because I choose you to," the woman replied. "I have been living with +you set of old men for a long time, so now I want to have a young one; +there he is, so you must give him a vest, and keep him here, or I shall +throw you up. You may take it or leave it, as you like. Do you +understand me?"</p> + +<p>The eighteen looked at each other open-mouthed, and good Daddy La +Bretagne scratched his head, and then said:</p> + +<p>"What she asks is quite right, and we must give way," he replied.</p> + +<p>Then they explained themselves, and came to an understanding. The poor +devil did not come like a conqueror, for he was a wretched clown who had +just been released from prison, where he had undergone three years' hard +labor for an attempted outrage on a girl, but, with one exception, the +best fellow in the world, so the people declared.</p> + +<p>"And something nice for me," the trollop added, "for I can assure you +that I mean him to reward me for anything I may do for him."</p> + +<p>From that time the household of eighteen persons consisted of nineteen, +and at first all went well. The clown was very humble, and tried not to +be burdensome to them. Fed, clothed and supplied with tobacco, he tried +not to be too exacting in the other matter, and if needful, he would +have hauled like the others, but the woman would not allow it.</p> + +<p>"You shall not fatigue yourself, my little man," she said. "You must +reserve yourself entirely for me."</p> + +<p>And he did as she wished.</p> + +<p>And soon, the eighteen, who had never been jealous of each other, grew +jealous of the favored lover. Some tried to pick a quarrel with him. He +resisted. The best fellow in the world, no doubt, but he was not going +to be taken for a mussel shut up in its shell, for all that. Let them +call him as lazy as a priest if they liked; he did not mind that, but +when they put hairs into his coffee, armsful of rushes among his +wreckage, and filth into his soup, they had better look out!</p> + +<p>"None of that, all the lot of you, or you will see what I can do," he +used to say.</p> + +<p>They repeated the practical jokes, however, and he thrashed them. He did +not try to find out who the culprits were, but attacked the first one he +met, so much the worse for him. With a kick from his wooden clog (it was +his specialty) he smashed their noses into a pulp, and having thus +acquired the knowledge of his strength, and urged on by his trollop, he +soon became a tyrant. The eighteen felt that they were slaves, and their +former paradise where concord and perfect equality had reigned, became a +hell, and that state of things could not last.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" Daddy La Bretagne growled, "if only I were twenty years younger I +would nearly kill him! I have my Breton's hot head still, but my +confounded legs are no good any longer."</p> + +<p>And he boldly challenged the clown to a duel, in which the latter was to +have his legs tied, and then both of them were to sit on the ground and +hack at each other with knives.</p> + +<p>"Such a duel would be perfectly fair!" he replied, kicking him in the +side with one of his clogs, and the woman burst out laughing, and said:</p> + +<p>"At any rate, you cannot compete with him on equal terms as regards +myself, so do not worry yourself about it."</p> + +<p>Daddy La Bretagne was lying in his corner and spitting blood, and none +of the rest spoke. What could the others do, when he, the blustering of +them all, had been served so? The jade had been right when she had +brought in the intruder, and said:</p> + +<p>"The king is here, old fellow."</p> + +<p>Only, she ought to have remembered that, after all, she alone kept her +subjects in check, and as Daddy La Bretagne said, by a right object. +With her to console them, they would no doubt have borne anything, but +she was foolish enough to cut down their food, and not to fill their +common dish as full as it used to be. She wanted to keep everything for +her lover, and that raised the exasperation of the eighteen to its +height, and so one night when she and the clown were asleep, among all +these fasting men, the eighteen threw themselves upon them. They wrapped +the despot's arms and legs up in tarpaulin, and in the presence of the +woman, who was firmly bound, they flogged him till he was black and +blue.</p> + +<p>"Yes," old Bretagne said to me, himself, "yes, Monsieur, that was our +revenge. The king was guillotined in 1793, and so we guillotined our +king also."</p> + +<p>And he concluded with a sneer, and said: "Ah! We wished to be just, and +as it was not his head that had made him our king, so, by Jove, we +settled him."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="BABETTE" id="BABETTE"></a>BABETTE</h2> + + +<p>I was not very fond of going to inspect that asylum for old, infirm +men, officially, as I was obliged to go over it in company of the +superintendent, who was talkative, and a statistician. But then, the +grandson of the foundress accompanied us, who was evidently pleased at +that minute inspection, and he was a charming man, and the owner of a +large forest, where he had given me permission to shoot, and I was, of +course, obliged to pretend to be interested in his grandmother's +philanthropic work. So with a smile on my lips I endured the +superintendent's interminable discourse, punctuating it here and there, +as best I could, by a:</p> + +<p>"Ah! really! ... Very strange, indeed! ... I should never have believed +it! ..."</p> + +<p>I was absolutely ignorant of the matter to which I replied thus, for my +thoughts were lulled to repose by the constant humming of our loquacious +guide. I was only vaguely conscious that no doubt the persons and things +would have appeared worthy of attention to me if I had been there alone +as an idler, for in that case, I should certainly have asked the +superintendent:</p> + +<p>"Who is this Babette, whose name appears so constantly in the complaints +of so many of the inmates?"</p> + +<p>Quite a dozen men and women had spoken to us about her, now to complain +of her, now to praise her; and especially the women, as soon as they saw +the superintendent, cried out:</p> + +<p>"M'sieur, Babette has again been ..."</p> + +<p>"There! that will do, that will do!" he interrupted them, his gentle +voice suddenly becoming harsh.</p> + +<p>At other times he would amicably question some old man with a happy +countenance, and say:</p> + +<p>"Well, my friend! I suppose you are very happy here?"</p> + +<p>Many replied with fervent expressions of gratitude, with which Babette's +name was frequently mingled, and when he heard them speak so, the +superintendent put on an ecstatic air; looking up to heaven with clasped +hands, he said, slowly shaking his head: "Ah! Babette is a very precious +woman, very precious!"</p> + +<p>Yes, it would certainly interest one to know who that creature was, but +not under present circumstances, and so, rather than to undergo any more +of this, I made up my mind to remain in ignorance of who Babette was, +for I could pretty well guess what she would be like. I pictured her to +myself as a flower that had sprung up in a corner of these dull +courtyards, like a ray of sun shining through the sepulchral gloom of +these dismal passages.</p> + +<p>I pictured her so clearly to myself that I did not even feel any wish to +know her, but yet she was dear to me, because of the happy expression +which they all put on when they spoke of her, and I was angry with the +old women who spoke against her. One thing certainly puzzled me, and +that was, that the superintendent was among those who went into +ecstasies over her, and this made me strongly disinclined to question +him about her, though I had no other reason for this feeling.</p> + +<p>But all this passed through my mind in rather a confused manner, and +without my taking the trouble to fix or to formulate any ideas and +sensations, for I continued to dream, rather than to think effectively, +and it is very probable that, when my visit was over, I should not have +remembered much about it, not even with regard to Babette, if I had not +been suddenly awakened by the sight of her in the person, and been quite +upset by the difference that there was between my fancy and the reality.</p> + +<p>We had just crossed a small back yard, and had gone into a very dark +passage, when a door suddenly opened at the other end of it, and an +unexpected apparition appeared through another door, and we could +indistinctly see that it was the figure of a woman. At the same moment, +the superintendent called out in a furious voice:</p> + +<p>"Babette! Babette!"</p> + +<p>He had mechanically quickened his pace, and almost ran, and we followed +him, and he quickly opened the door through which the apparition had +vanished, and which led on to a staircase, and he again called out, and +a burst of stifled laughter was the only reply. I looked over the +balusters, and saw a woman down below, who was looking at us fixedly.</p> + +<p>She was an old woman; there could be no doubt of that, from her wrinkled +face and her few straggling gray locks which appeared under her cap. But +one did not think of that when one saw her eyes, which were wonderfully +youthful, for then, one saw nothing but them. They were profound eyes, +of a deep, almost violet blue; the eyes of a child.</p> + +<p>Suddenly the superintendent called out to her: "You have been with <i>la +Friezê</i> again!"</p> + +<p>The old woman did not reply, but shook with laughter, as she had done +just before, and then she ran off, giving the superintendent a look, +which said as plainly as words could have done: "Do you think I care a +fig for you?"</p> + +<p>Those insulting words were clearly written in her face, and at the same +time I noticed that the old woman's eyes had utterly changed, for during +that short moment of bravado the childish eyes had become the eyes of a +monkey, of some ferocious, obstinate baboon.</p> + +<p>That time, in spite of any dislike to question him further, I could not +help saying to him: "That is Babette, I suppose?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," he replied, growing rather red, as if he guessed that I +understood the old woman's insulting looks.</p> + +<p>"Is she the woman who is so precious?" I added, with a touch of irony, +which made him grow altogether crimson.</p> + +<p>"That is she," he said, walking on quickly, so as to escape my further +questions.</p> + +<p>But I was egged on by curiosity, and I made a direct appeal to our +host's complaisance. "I should like to see this <i>Friezê</i>," I said. "Who +is <i>Friezê</i>?"</p> + +<p>He turned round and said: "Oh! nothing, nothing, he is not at all +interesting. What is the good of seeing him? It is not worth while."</p> + +<p>And he ran downstairs, two at a time. He who was usually so delicate, +and so very careful to explain everything, was now in a hurry to get +finished, and our visit was cut short.</p> + +<p>The next day I had to leave that part of the country, without hearing +anything more about Babette, but I came back about four months later, +when the shooting season began. I had not forgotten her during that +time, for nobody could ever forget her eyes, and so I was very glad to +have as my traveling companion on my three hours' diligence journey from +the station to my friend's house, a man who talked to me about her all +the time.</p> + +<p>He was a young magistrate whom I had already met, and who had much +interested me by his wit and his close manner of observing things, and +by his singularly refined casuistry, and, above all, by the contrast +between his professional severity, and his tolerant philosophy.</p> + +<p>But he never appeared so attractive to me as he did on that day, when he +told me the history of that mysterious Babette.</p> + +<p>He had inquired into it, and had applied all his faculties as an +examining magistrate to it, for, like me, his visit to the asylum had +roused his curiosity. This is what he had learned and what he told me.</p> + +<p>When she was ten years old, Babette had been violated by her own father, +and at thirteen she had been sent to the house of correction for +vagabondage and debauchery. From the time she was twenty until she was +forty she had been a servant in the neighborhood, frequently changing +her situation, and being nearly everywhere her employer's mistress, and +she had ruined several families without getting any money herself, or +without gaining any definite position. A shopkeeper had committed +suicide on her account, and a respectable young fellow had turned thief +and incendiary, and had finished at the hulks.</p> + +<p>She had been married twice, and had twice been left a widow, and for ten +years, until she was fifty, she had been the only commodity in the +district, for pleasure, to which five villages came to amuse themselves +on holidays.</p> + +<p>"She was very pretty, I suppose?"</p> + +<p>"No; she never was that. It seems she was short, thin, with no bust or +hips, at her best, I am told, and nobody can remember that she was +pretty, even when she was young."</p> + +<p>"Then how can you explain ...?"</p> + +<p>"How?" the magistrate exclaimed. "Well! what about the eyes? You could +not have looked at them?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, you are right," I replied. "Those eyes explain many things, +certainly. They are the eyes of an innocent child."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he exclaimed again, enthusiastically, "Cleopatra, Diana of +Poiters, Ninon de L'Enclos, all the queens of love who were adored when +they were growing old, must have had eyes like hers. A woman who has +such eyes can never grow old. But if Babette lives to be a hundred, she +will always be loved as she has been, and as she is."</p> + +<p>"As she is! Bah! By whom, pray?"</p> + +<p>"By all the old men in the asylum, by all those who have preserved a +fiber that can be touched, a corner of their heart that can be inflamed, +or the least spark of desire left."</p> + +<p>"Do you think so?"</p> + +<p>"I am sure of it. And the superintendent loves her more than any of them +do."</p> + +<p>"Impossible!"</p> + +<p>"I would stake my head on it."</p> + +<p>"Well, after all, it is possible, and even probable; it is even certain. +I now remember ..."</p> + +<p>And again I saw the insulting, ferocious, familiar look which she had +given the superintendent.</p> + +<p>"And who is <i>la Friezê</i>?" I asked the magistrate "I suppose you know +that also?"</p> + +<p>"He is a retired butcher, who had both his legs frozen in the war of +1870, and whom she is very fond of. No doubt he is a cripple, with two +wooden legs, but still a vigorous man enough, in spite of his +fifty-three years. The loins of a Hercules and the face of a satyr. The +superintendent is quite jealous of him!"</p> + +<p>I thought the matter over again, and it seemed very probable to me. +"Does she love <i>la Friezê</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; he is the chosen lover."</p> + +<p>When we arrived at the host's house a short time afterwards, we were +surprised to find everybody in a terrible state of excitement. A crime +had been committed in the asylum; the gendarmes were there and our host +was with them, so we instantly joined them. <i>La Friezê</i> had murdered the +superintendent, and they gave us the details, which were horrible. The +former butcher had hidden behind a door, and catching hold of the other, +had rolled onto the ground with him and bitten him in the throat, +tearing out his carotid, from which the blood spurted into the +murderer's face.</p> + +<p>I saw him, <i>la Friezê</i>. His fat face, which had been badly washed, was +still blood-stained; he had a low forehead, square jaws, pointed ears, +sticking out from his head, and flat nostrils, like the muzzle of some +wild animal; but above all, I saw Babette.</p> + +<p>She was smiling, and at that moment, her eyes had not their monkey-like +and ferocious expression, but they were pleading and tender, with all of +their sweetest childlike candor.</p> + +<p>"You know," my host said to me in a low voice, "that the poor woman has +fallen into senile imbecility, and that is the cause of her looks, which +are so strange, considering the terrible sight she has seen.</p> + +<p>"Do you think so?" the magistrate said. "You must remember that she is +not yet sixty, and I do not think that it is a case of senile +imbecility, but that she is quite conscious of the crime that has been +committed."</p> + +<p>"Then why should she smile?"</p> + +<p>"Because she is pleased at what she has done."</p> + +<p>"Oh! no; you are really too subtle!"</p> + +<p>The magistrate suddenly turned to Babette, and, looking at her steadily, +he said:</p> + +<p>"I suppose you know what has happened, and why this crime was +committed?"</p> + +<p>She left off smiling, and her pretty, childlike eyes became her +abominable monkey's eyes again, and then the answer was, suddenly to +pull up her petticoats and to show us the lower part of her person. Yes, +the magistrate had been quite right. That old woman had been a +Cleopatra, a Diana, a Ninon de L'Enclos, and the rest of her body had +remained like a child's, even more than her eyes. We were thunderstruck +at the sight.</p> + +<p>"Pigs! Pigs!" <i>la Friezê</i> shouted to us. "You also wanted to have +something to do with her!"</p> + +<p>And I saw that actually the magistrate's face was pale and contracted, +and that his hands and lips trembled like those of a man caught in the +act of doing wrong.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="SYMPATHY" id="SYMPATHY"></a>SYMPATHY</h2> + + +<p>He was going up the <i>Rue des Martyrs</i> in a melancholy frame of mind, and +in a melancholy frame of mind she also was going up the <i>Rue des +Martyrs</i>. He was already old, nearly sixty, with a bald head under his +seedy, tall hat, a gray beard, half buried in a high shirt collar, with +dull eyes, an unpleasant mouth and yellow teeth.</p> + +<p>She was past forty, with thin hair over her pads, and with a false +plait; her linen was doubtful in color, and she had evidently bought her +unfashionable dress at a <i>reach-me-down shop</i>. He was thin, while she +was chubby. He had been handsome, proud, ardent, full of +self-confidence, certain of his future, and seeming to hold in his hands +all the trumps with which to win the game on the green table of Parisian +life, while she had been pretty, sought after, fast, and in a fair way +to have horses and carriages, and to win the first prize on the turf of +gallantry, among the favorites of fortune.</p> + +<p>At times, in his dark moments, he remembered the time when he had come +to Paris from the country, with a volume of poetry and plays in his +portmanteau, feeling a supreme contempt for all the writers who were +then in vogue, and sure of supplanting them. She often, when she awoke +in the morning to another day's unhappiness, remembered that happy time +when she had been launched onto the world, when she already saw that she +was more sought after than Marie G. or Sophie N. or any other woman of +that class, who had been her companions in vice, and whose lovers she +had stolen from them.</p> + +<p>He had had a splendid start. Not, indeed, as a poet and dramatist, as he +had hoped at first, but thanks to a series of scandalous stories which +had made a sensation on the boulevards, so that after an action for +damages and several duels, he had become <i>our witty and brilliant +colleague who, etc., etc.</i></p> + +<p>She had had her moments of extraordinary good luck, though she certainly +did not eclipse Marie P. or Camille L., whom men compared to Zenobia or +Ninon de l'Enclos, but still enough to cause her to be talked about in +the newspapers, and to cause a resolution at certain <i>tables-d'hòtes</i> at +Montmarte. But one fine day, the newspaper in which <i>our brilliant and +witty colleague who</i> ... used to write, became defunct, having been +killed by a much more cynical rival, thanks to the much more venomous +pen of a much more brilliant and witty colleague who .... Then, the +insults of the latter having become pure and simple mud-pelting, his +style soon became worn out, to the disgust of the public, and the +celebrated <i>Mr. What's his name</i> had great difficulty in getting onto +some obscure paper, where he was transformed into the obscure +penny-a-liner <i>Machin</i>.</p> + +<p>Now, one evening the quasi-rival of Marie X. and Camille L. had fallen +ill, and consequently into pecuniary difficulties, and the prostitute +<i>No-matter-who</i> was now on the lookout for a dinner, and would have been +only too happy to get it at some <i>table-d'hòte</i> at Montmarte. Machin had +had a return of ambition with regard to his poetry and his dramas, but +then, his verses of former days had lost their freshness, and his +youthful dramas appeared to him to be childish. He would have to write +others, and, by Jove! he felt himself capably of doing it, for he had +plenty of ideas and plans in his head, and he could easily demolish many +successful writers if he chose to try! But then, the difficulty was, how +to set about it, and to find the necessary leisure and time for thought. +He had his daily bread to gain, and something besides: his coffee, his +game of cards and other little requirements; and the incessant writing +article upon article barely sufficed for that, and so days and years +went by, and Machin was Machin still.</p> + +<p>She also longed for former years, and surely it could not be so very +hard to find a lover to start her on her career once more, for many of +her female friends, who were not nearly so nice as she was, had +unearthed one, so why should not she be equally fortunate? But there, +her youth had gone and she had lost all her chances; other women had +their fancy men, and she had to take them on, every day at reduced +prices, so that she was reduced from taking up with any man she met, and +so day after day and months and years passed, and the prostitute +<i>No-matter-who</i> had remained the prostitute <i>No-matter-who</i>.</p> + +<p>Often, in a fit of despondency, he used to say to himself, thinking of +some one who had succeeded in life: "But, after all, I am cleverer than +that fellow." And she always said to herself, when she got up to her +miserable, daily round, when she thought of such and such a woman, who +was now settled in life: "In what respect is that woman better than I +am?"</p> + +<p>And Machin, who was nearly sixty, and whose head was bald under his +shabby tall hat, and whose gray beard was half-buried in a high shirt +collar, who had dull eyes, an unpleasant mouth and yellow teeth, was +mad with his fellow men, while the prostitute <i>No-matter-who</i>, with +thin hair over her pads, and with a false plait, with her linen of a +doubtful color, and with her unfashionable dress, which she had +evidently bought at a <i>reach-me-down</i> shop, was enraged with society.</p> + +<p>Ah! Those miserable, dark hours, and the wretched awakenings! And that +evening he was more than usually wretched, as he had just lost all his +pay for the next month, that miserable screw which he earned so hardly +by almost editing the newspaper, for three hundred francs a month, in a +brothel.</p> + +<p>And that evening she was in a state of semi-stupidity, as she had had +too many glasses of beer which a charitable female friend had given her, +and was almost afraid to go back to her room, as her landlord had told +her in the morning that unless she paid the fortnight's back rent that +she owed at the rate of a franc a day, he would turn her out of doors +and keep her things.</p> + +<p>And this was the reason why they were both going up the <i>Rue des +Martyrs</i> in a melancholy frame of mind. There was scarcely a soul in the +muddy streets; it was getting dark, and beginning to rain, and the +drains smelled horribly.</p> + +<p>He passed her, and in a mechanical voice she said: "Will you not come +home with me, you handsome dark man?" "I have no money," he replied. But +she ran after him, and catching hold of his arm, she said: "Only a +franc; that is having it for nothing." And he turned round, looked at +her, and seeing that she must have been pretty, and that she was still +stout (and he was fond of fat women), he said: "Where do you live? Near +here?" "In the <i>Rue Lepic</i>." "Why! So do I." "Then that is all right, eh? +Come along, old fellow."</p> + +<p>He felt in his pockets and pulled out all the money he found there, +which amounted to thirteen sous, and said: "That is all I have, upon my +honor!" "All right," she said; "come along."</p> + +<p>And they continued their melancholy walk along the <i>Rue des Martyrs</i>, +side by side now, but without speaking, and without guessing that their +two existences harmonized and corresponded with each other, and that by +huddling up together, they would be merely accomplishing the acme of +their twin destinies.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_DEBT" id="THE_DEBT"></a>THE DEBT</h2> + + +<p>"Pst! Pst! Come with me, you handsome, dark fellow. I am very nice, as +you will see. Do come up. At any rate you will be able to warm yourself, +for I have a capital fire at home."</p> + +<p>But nothing enticed the foot-passengers, neither being called a +handsome, dark fellow, which she applied quite impartially to old or fat +men also, nor the promise of pleasure which was emphasized by a +caressing ogle and smile, nor even the promise of a good fire, which was +so attractive in the bitter December wind. And tall Fanny continued her +useless walk, and the night advanced and foot-passengers grew scarcer. +In another hour the streets would be absolutely deserted, and unless she +could manage to pick up some belated drunken man, she would be obliged +to return home alone.</p> + +<p>And yet, tall Fanny was a beautiful woman! With her head like a +<i>Bacchante</i>, and her body like a goddess, in all the full splendor of +her twenty-three years, she deserved something better than this +miserable pavement, where she could not even pick up the five francs +which she wanted for the requirements of the next day. But there! In +this infernal Paris, in this swarming crowd of competitors who all +jostled each other, courtesans, like artists, did not attain to eminence +until their later years. In that they resembled precious stones, as the +most valuable of them are those that have been set the oftenest.</p> + +<p>And that was why tall Fanny, who was later to become one of the richest +and most brilliant stars of Parisian gallantry, was walking about the +streets on this bitter December night, without a half-penny in her +pocket, in spite of her head like a Bacchante, and her body like a +goddess, and in all the full splendor of her twenty-three years.</p> + +<p>However, it was too late now to hope to meet anybody; there was not a +single foot passenger about; the street was decidedly empty, dull and +lifeless. Nothing was to be heard, except the whistling of sudden gusts +of wind, and nothing was to be seen, except the flickering gas lights, +which looked like dying butterflies. Well! The only thing was to return +home alone.</p> + +<p>But suddenly, tall Fanny saw a human form standing on the pavement at +the next crossing, and whoever it was, seemed to be hesitating and +uncertain which way to go. The figure, which was very small and slight, +was wrapped in a long cloak, which reached almost to the ground.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps he is a hunchback," the girl said to herself. "They like tall +women!" And she walked quickly towards him, from habit, already saying: +"<i>Pst! Pst!</i> Come home with me, you handsome, dark fellow!" What luck! +The man did not go away, but came towards Fanny, although somewhat +timidly, while she went to meet him, repeating her wheedling words, so +as to reassure him. She went all the quicker, as she saw that he was +staggering with the zig-zag walk of a drunken man, and she thought to +herself: "When once they sit down, there is no possibility of getting +these beggars up again, and they want to go to sleep just where they +are. I only hope I shall get to him before he tumbles down."</p> + +<p>Luckily she reached him, just in time to catch him in her arms, but as +soon as she had done so, she almost let him fall, in her astonishment. +It was neither a drunken man nor a hunchback, but a child of twelve or +thirteen in an overcoat, who was crying, and who said in a weak voice: +"I beg your pardon, madame, I beg your pardon. If you only knew how +hungry and cold I am! I beg your pardon! Oh! I am so cold."</p> + +<p>"Poor child!" she said, putting her arms around him and kissing him. +And she carried him off, with a full, but happy heart, and while he +continued to sob, she said to him mechanically: "Don't be frightened, my +little man. You will see how nice I can be! And then, you can warm +yourself; I have a capital fire." But the fire was out; the room, +however, was warm, and the child said, as soon as they got in: "Oh! How +comfortable it is here! It is a great deal better than in the streets, I +can tell you! And I have been living in the streets for six days." He +began to cry again, and added: "I beg your pardon, madame. I have eaten +nothing for two days."</p> + +<p>Tall Fanny opened her cupboard, which had glass doors. The middle shelf +held all her linen, and on the upper one there was a box of Albert +biscuits, a drop of brandy at the bottom of a bottle, and a few small +lumps of sugar in a cup. With that, and some water out of the bottle, +she concocted a sort of broth, which he swallowed ravenously, and when +he had done, he wished to tell his story, which he did, yawning all the +time.</p> + +<p>His grandfather, (the only one of his relations whom he had ever known,) +who had been painter and decorator at Soisson, had died about a month +before; but before his death he had said to him: "When I am gone, +little man, you will find a letter to my brother, who is in business in +Paris, among my papers. You must take it to him, and he will be certain +to take care of you. However, in any case you must go to Paris, for you +have an aptitude for painting, and only there can you hope to become an +artist."</p> + +<p>When the old man was dead (he died in the hospital), the child started, +dressed in an old coat of his grandfather's and with thirty francs, +which was all that the old man had left behind him in his pocket. But +when he got to Paris, there was nobody of the name at the address +mentioned on the letter. The dead man's brother had left there six +months before, and nobody knew where he had gone to, and so the child +was alone, and for a few days he managed to exist on what he had over, +after paying for his journey. After he had spent his last franc, he had +wandered about the streets, as he had no money with which to pay for a +bed, buying his bread by the half-penny-worth, until for the last +forty-eight hours, he had been without anything, absolutely without +anything.</p> + +<p>He told her all this while he was half asleep, amidst sobs and yawns, so +that the girl did not venture to ask him any more questions, in spite of +her curiosity, but, on the contrary, cut him short, and undressed him +while she listened, and only interrupted him to kiss him, and to say to +him: "There, there, my poor child! You shall tell me the rest to-morrow. +You cannot go on now, so go to bed and have a good sleep." And as soon +as he had finished, she put him to bed, where he immediately fell into a +profound sleep. Then she undressed herself quickly, got into bed by his +side, so she might keep him warm, and went to sleep, crying to herself, +without exactly knowing why.</p> + +<p>The next day they breakfasted and dined together at a common eating +house, on money that she had borrowed, and when it was dark, she said to +the child: "Wait for me here; I will come for you at closing time." She +came back sooner, however about ten o'clock. She had twelve francs, +which she gave him, telling him that she had <i>earned them</i>, and she +continued, with a laugh: "I feel that I shall make some more. I am in +luck this evening, and you have brought it me. Do not be impatient, but +have some milk-posset while you are waiting for me."</p> + +<p>She kissed him before she went, and the kind girl felt real maternal +happiness as she went out. An hour later, however, she was <i>run in</i> by +the police for having been found in a prohibited place, and off she +went, game for <i>St. Lazare</i><a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a>.</p> + +<p>And the child, who was turned out by the proprietor at closing time, and +then driven from the furnished lodgings the next morning, where they +told him that <i>Tall Fanny was in quod</i>, began his wretched vagabond life +in the streets again, with only the twelve francs to depend on.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Fifteen years afterwards the newspapers announced one morning that the +famous Fanny Clairet, the celebrated <i>horizontal</i>, whose caprices had +caused a revolution in high life, that queen of frail beauties for whom +three men had committed suicide, and so many others had ruined +themselves, that incomparable living statue, who had attracted all Paris +to the theater where she impersonated Venus in her transparent skin +tights, made of woven air and knitted nothing had been shut up in a +lunatic asylum. She had been seized suddenly; it was an attack of general +paralysis, and as her debts were enormous, when her estate had been +liquidated, she would have to end her days at <i>La Salpêtrière</i>.</p> + +<p>"No, certainly not!" François Guerland, the painter, said to himself, +when he read the notice of it in the papers. "No, the great Fanny shall +certainly not end like that." For it was certainly she; there could be +no doubt about it. For a long time after she had shown him that act of +charity, which he could never forget, the child had tried to see his +benefactress again. But Paris is a very mysterious place, and he himself +had had many adventures before he grew up to be a man, and, eventually, +almost somebody! But he only found her in the distance; he had +recognized her at the theater, on the stage, or as she was getting into +her carriage, which was fit for a princess. And how could he approach +her then? Could he remind her of the time when her price was five +francs? No, assuredly not; and so he had followed her, thanked her, and +blessed her, from a distance.</p> + +<p>But now the time had come for him to pay his debt, and he paid it. +Although tolerably well known as a painter with a future in store for +him, he was not rich. But what did that matter? He mortgaged that future +which people prophesied for him, and gave himself over, bound hand and +foot, to a picture dealer. Then he had the poor woman taken to an +excellent asylum, where she could have not only every care, but every +necessary comfort and even luxury. Alas! however, general paralysis +never forgives. Sometimes it releases its prey, like the cruel cat +releases the mouse, for a brief moment, only to lay hold of it again +later, more fiercely than ever. Fanny had that period of abatement in +her symptoms, and one morning the physician was able to say to the young +man: "You are anxious to remove her? Very well! But you will soon have +to bring her back, for the cure is only apparent, and her present state +will only endure for a month, at most, and then, only if the patient is +kept free from every excitement and excess!"</p> + +<p>"And without that precaution?" Guerland asked him. "Then," the doctor +replied; "the final crisis will be all the nearer; that is all. But +whether it would be nearer or more remote, it will not be the less +fatal." "You are sure of that?" "Absolutely sure."</p> + +<p>François Guerland took tall Fanny out of the asylum, installed her in +splendid apartments, and went to live with her there. She had grown old, +bloated, with white hair, and sometimes wandered in her mind, and she +did not recognize in him the poor little lad on whom she had taken pity +in the days gone by, nor did he remind her of the circumstance. He +allowed her to believe that she was adored by a rich young man, who was +passionately devoted to her. He was young, ardent, and caressing. Never +had a mistress such a lover, and for three weeks, before she relapsed +into the horrors of madness, which were happily soon terminated by her +death, she intoxicated herself with the ecstasy of his kisses, and thus +bade farewell to conscient life in an apotheosis of love.</p> + +<p>The other day, at dessert, after an artists' dinner, they were speaking +of François Guerland, whose last picture at the <i>Salon</i> had been so +deservedly praised. "Ah! yes," one of them said, with a contemptuous +voice and look. "That handsome fellow Guerland!" And another, +accentuating the insinuation, added boldly: "Yes, that is exactly it! +That handsome, too handsome fellow Guerland, the man who allows himself +to be kept by women."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="AN_ARTIST" id="AN_ARTIST"></a>AN ARTIST</h2> + + +<p>"Bah! Monsieur," the old mountebank said to me; "it is a matter of +exercise and habit, that is all! Of course, one requires to be a little +gifted that way, and not to be butter-fingered, but what is chiefly +necessary is patience and daily practice for long, long years."</p> + +<p>His modesty surprised me all the more, because of all those performers +who are generally infatuated with their own skill, he was the most +wonderfully clever one that I had ever met. Certainly, I had frequently +seen him, and everybody had seen him in some circus or other, or even in +traveling shows, performing the trick that consists of putting a man or +a woman with extended arms against a wooden target, and in throwing +knives between their fingers and round their head, from a distance. +There is nothing very extraordinary in it, after all, when one knows +<i>the tricks of the trade</i>, and that the knives are not the least sharp, +and stick into the wood at some distance from the flesh. It is the +rapidity of the throws, the glitter of the blades, the curve which the +handles make towards their living aim, which give an air of danger to an +exhibition that has become common-place, and only requires very middling +skill.</p> + +<p>But here there was no trick and no deception, and no dust thrown into +the eyes. It was done in good earnest and in all sincerity. The knives +were as sharp as razors, and the old mountebank planted them close to +the flesh, exactly in the angle between the fingers, and surrounded the +head with a perfect halo of knives, and the neck with a collar, from +which nobody could have extricated himself without cutting his carotid +artery, while to increase the difficulty, the old fellow went through +the performance without seeing, his whole face being covered with a +close mask of thick oil-cloth.</p> + +<p>Naturally, like other great artists, he was not understood by the crowd, +who confounded him with vulgar tricksters, and his mask only appeared to +them a trick the more, and a very common trick into the bargain. "He +must think us very stupid," they said. "How could he possibly aim +without having his eyes open?" And they thought there must be +imperceptible holes in the oil-cloth, a sort of lattice work concealed +in the material. It was useless for him to allow the public to examine +the mask for themselves before the exhibition began. It was all very +well that they could not discover any trick, but they were only all the +more convinced that they were being tricked. Did not the people know +that they ought to be tricked?</p> + +<p>I had recognized a great artist in the old mountebank, and I was quite +sure that he was altogether incapable of any trickery, and I told him +so, while expressing my admiration to him; and he had been touched, both +by my admiration, and above all by the justice I had done him. Thus we +became good friends, and he explained to me, very modestly, the real +trick which the crowd cannot understand, the eternal trick compromised +in these simple words: "To be gifted by nature, and to practice every +day for long, long years."</p> + +<p>He had been especially struck by the certainty which expressed, that any +trickery must become impossible to him. "Yes," he said to me; "quite +impossible! Impossible to a degree which you cannot imagine. If I were +to tell you! But where would be the use?"</p> + +<p>His face clouded over, and his eyes filled with tears, but I did not +venture to force myself into his confidence. My looks, however, were no +doubt not so discreet as my silence, and begged him to speak, and so he +responded to their mute appeal. "After all," he said: "why should I not +tell you about it? You will understand me." And he added, with a look of +sudden ferocity: "She understood it at any rate!" "Who?" I asked. "My +unfaithful wife," he replied. "Ah! Monsieur, what an abominable creature +she was, if you only knew! Yes, she understood it too well, too well, +and that is why I hate her so; even more on that account, than for +having deceived me. For that is a natural fault, is it not, and may be +pardoned? But the other thing was a crime, a horrible crime."</p> + +<p>The woman who stood against the wooden target every night with her arms +stretched out and her fingers extended, and whom the old mountebank +fitted with gloves and with a halo formed of his knives which were as +sharp as razors, and which he planted close to her, was his wife. She +might have been a woman of forty, and must have been fairly pretty, but +with perverse prettiness, an impudent mouth, a mouth that was at the +same time sensual and bad, with the lower lip too thick for the thin, +dry upper lip.</p> + +<p>I had several times noticed that every time he planted a knife in the +board, she uttered a laugh, so low as scarcely to be heard, but which +was very significant when one heard it, for it was a hard and very +mocking laugh, but I had always attributed that sort of reply to an +artifice which the occasion required. It was intended, I thought, to +accentuate the danger she incurred and the contempt that she felt for +it, thanks to the sureness of the thrower's hands, and so I was very +surprised when the mountebank said to me:</p> + +<p>"Have you observed her laugh, I say? Her evil laugh which makes fun of +me, and her cowardly laugh, which defies me? Yes, cowardly, because she +knows nothing can happen to her, nothing, in spite of all she deserves, +in spite of all that I ought to do to her, in spite of all that I want +to do to her." "What do you want to do?" "Confound it! Cannot you guess? +I want ... to kill her," "To kill her, because she has ..." "Because she +has deceived me? No, no, not that, I tell you again. I have forgiven her +for that, a long time ago, and I am too much accustomed to it! But the +worst of it is, that the first time I forgave her, when I told her that +all the same, I might some day have my revenge by cutting her throat, if +I chose, without seeming to do it on purpose, as if it were an accident, +mere awkwardness." "Oh! So you said that to her?" "Of course I did, and +I meant it. I thought I might be able to do it, for you see I had the +perfect right to do so. It was so simple, so easy, so tempting! Just +think! A mistake of less than half an inch, and her skin would be cut at +the neck where the jugular vein is, and the jugular would be severed. My +knives cut very well! And when once the jugular is cut ... good-by. The +blood would spurt out, and one, two, three red jets, and all would be +over; she would be dead, and I should have had my revenge!"</p> + +<p>"That is true, certainly, horribly true!" "And without any risk to me, +eh? An accident, that is all; bad luck, one of those mistakes which +happen every day in our business. What could they accuse me of? Whoever +would think of accusing me, even? Homicide through imprudence, that +would be all! They would even pity me, rather than accuse me. 'My wife! +My poor wife!' I should say, sobbing. 'My wife, who is so necessary to +me, who is half the bread-winner, who takes part in my performance!' You +must acknowledge that I should be pitied!"</p> + +<p>"Certainly; there is not the least doubt about that." "And you must +allow that such a revenge would be a very nice revenge, the best +possible revenge, which I could have with assured impunity?" "Evidently +that is so." "Very well! But when I told her so, just as I have told +you, and better still; threatening her, as I was mad with rage, and +ready to do the deed that I had dreamt of, on the spot; what do you +think she said?" "That you were a good fellow, and would certainly not +have the atrocious courage to ..."</p> + +<p>"Tut! tut! tut! I am not such a good fellow as you think. I am not +frightened of blood, and that I have proved already, though it would be +useless to tell you how and where. But I had no necessity to prove it to +her, for she knows that I am capable of a good many things; even of +crime; especially of a crime." "And she was not frightened?" "No. She +merely replied that I could not do what I said; you understand." "That I +could not do it!" "Why not?" "Ah! Monsieur, so you do not understand? Why +do you not? Have I not explained to you by what constant, long, daily +practice I have learnt to plant my knives without seeing what I am +doing?" "Yes, well, what then?" "Well! Cannot you understand what she +has understood with such terrible results, that now my hand would no +longer obey me, if I wished to make a mistake as I threw?" "Is it +possible?" "Nothing is truer, I am sorry to say. For I really have +wished to have my revenge, which I have dreamt of, and which I thought +so easy. Exasperated by that bad woman's insolence and confidence in her +own safety, I have several times made up my mind to kill her, and have +exerted all my energy and all my skill, to make my knives fly aside when +I threw them to make a border round her neck. I tried with all my might +to make them deviate half an inch, just enough to cut her throat. I +wanted to, and I have never succeeded, never. And always the horrible +laugh makes fun of me, always, always."</p> + +<p>And with a deluge of tears, with something like a roar of unsatiated and +muzzled rage, he ground his teeth as he wound up: "She knows me, the +jade; she is in the secret of my work, of my patience, of my trick, +routine, whatever you may call it! She lives in my innermost being, and +sees into it more closely than you do, or than I do myself. She knows +what a faultless machine I have become, the machine of which she makes +fun, the machine which is too well wound up, the machine which cannot +get out of order, and she knows that I <i>cannot</i> make a mistake."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MADEMOISELLE_FIFI" id="MADEMOISELLE_FIFI"></a>MADEMOISELLE FIFI</h2> + + +<p>The Major, Graf von Farlsberg, the Prussian commandant, was reading his +newspaper, lying back in a great armchair, with his booted feet on the +beautiful marble fire-place, where his spurs had made two holes, which +grew deeper every day, during the three months that he had been in the +château of Urville.</p> + +<p>A cup of coffee was smoking on a small, inlaid table, which was stained +with liquors, burnt by cigars, notched by the pen-knife of the +victorious officer, who occasionally would stop while sharpening a +pencil, to jot down figures, or to make a drawing on it, just as it took +his fancy.</p> + +<p>When he had read his letters and the German newspapers, which his +baggage-master had brought him, he got up, and after throwing three or +four enormous pieces of green wood on to the fire, for those gentlemen +were gradually cutting down the park in order to keep themselves warm, +he went to the window. The rain was descending in torrents, a regular +Normandy rain, which looked as if it were being poured out by some +furious hand, a slanting rain, which was as thick as a curtain, and +which formed a kind of wall with oblique stripes, and which deluged +everything, a regular rain, such as one frequently experiences in the +neighborhood of Rouen, which is the watering-pot of France.</p> + +<p>For a long time the officer looked at the sodden turf, and at the +swollen Andelle beyond it, which was overflowing its banks; and he was +drumming a waltz from the Rhine on the window-panes, with his fingers, +when a noise made him turn round; it was his second in command, Captain +Baron von Kelweinstein.</p> + +<p>The major was a giant, with broad shoulders, and a long, fair-like +beard, which hung like a cloth on his chest. His whole, solemn person +suggested the idea of a military peacock, a peacock who was carrying his +tail spread out on to his breast. He had cold, gentle, blue eyes, and +the scar from a sword-cut, which he had received in the war with +Austria; he was said to be an honorable man, as well as a brave officer.</p> + +<p>The captain, a short, red-faced man, who was tightly girthed in at the +waist, had his red hair cropped quite close to his head, and in certain +lights he almost looked as if he had been rubbed over with phosphorus. +He had lost two front teeth one night, though he could not quite +remember how, and this made him speak so that he could not always be +understood, and he had a bald patch on the top of his head, which made +him look rather like a monk, with a fringe of curly, bright, golden hair +round the circle of bare skin.</p> + +<p>The commandant shook hands with him, and drank his cup of coffee (the +sixth that morning), at a draught, while he listened to his +subordinate's report of what had occurred; and then they both went to +the window, and declared that it was a very unpleasant outlook. The +major, who was a quiet man, with a wife at home, could accommodate +himself to everything; but the captain, who was rather fast, who was in +the habit of frequenting low resorts, and who was much given to women, +was mad at having been shut up for three months in the compulsory +chastity of that wretched hole.</p> + +<p>There was a knock at the door, and when the commandant said: "<i>Come +in</i>," one of their automatic soldiers appeared, and by his mere presence +announced that breakfast was ready. In the dining-room, they met three +other officers of lower rank: a lieutenant, Otto von Grossling, and two +sub-lieutenants, Fritz Scheunebarg, and Baron von Eyrick, a very short, +fair-haired man, who was proud and brutal towards men, harsh towards +prisoners, and as violent as a rifle.</p> + +<p>Since he had been in France, his comrades had called him nothing but +Mademoiselle Fifi. They had given him that nickname on account of his +dandified style and small waist, which looked as if he wore stays, of +his pale face, on which his budding moustache scarcely showed, and on +account of the habit he had acquired of employing the French expression, +<i>fi, fi donc</i>, which he pronounced with a slight whistle, when he wished +to express his sovereign contempt for persons or things.</p> + +<p>The dining-room of the château was a magnificent long room, whose fine +old mirrors, that were cracked by pistol bullets, and whose Flemish +tapestry, which was cut to ribbons, and hanging in rags in places, from +sword-cuts, told too well what Mademoiselle Fifi's occupation was during +his spare time.</p> + +<p>There were three family portraits on the walls: a steel-clad knight, a +cardinal, and a judge, who were all smoking long porcelain pipes, which +had been inserted into holes in the canvas, while a lady in a long, +pointed waist proudly exhibited an enormous moustache, drawn with a +piece of charcoal. The officers ate their breakfast almost in silence in +that mutilated room, which looked dull in the rain, and melancholy under +its vanquished appearance, although its old, oak floor had become as +solid as the stone floor of a public house.</p> + +<p>When they had finished eating, and were smoking and drinking they began, +as usual, to talk about the dull life they were leading. The bottles of +brandy and of liquors passed from hand to hand, and all sat back in +their chairs and took repeated sips from their glasses, scarcely +removing the long, bent stems, which terminated in china bowls, that +were painted in a manner to delight a Hottentot, from their mouths.</p> + +<p>As soon as their glasses were empty, they filled them again, with a +gesture of resigned weariness, but Mademoiselle Fifi emptied his every +minute, and a soldier immediately gave him another. They were enveloped +in a thick cloud of strong tobacco smoke, and they seemed to be sunk in +a state of drowsy, stupid intoxication, in that dull state of +drunkenness of men who have nothing to do, when suddenly, the baron sat +up, and said: "By heavens! This cannot go on; we must think of something +to do." And on hearing this, lieutenant Otto and sub-lieutenant Fritz, +who pre-eminently possessed the grave, heavy German countenance, said: +"What, captain?"</p> + +<p>He thought for a few moments, and then replied: "What? Well, we must get +up some entertainment, if the commandant will allow us." "What sort of +an entertainment, captain?" the major asked, taking his pipe out of his +mouth. "I will arrange all that, commandant," the Baron said. "I will +send <i>Le Devoir</i> to Rouen, who will bring us some ladies. I know where +they can be found. We will have supper here, as all the materials are at +hand, and, at least, we shall have a jolly evening."</p> + +<p>Graf von Farlsberg shrugged his shoulders with a smile: "You must +surely be mad, my friend."</p> + +<p>But all the other officers got up, ran round their chief, and said: "Let +the captain have his own way, commandant; it is terribly dull here." And +the major ended by yielding. "Very well," he replied, and the baron +immediately sent for <i>Le Devoir</i>. He was an old non-commissioned +officer, who had never been seen to smile, but who carried out all the +orders of his superiors to the letter, no matter what they might be. He +stood there, with an impassive face, while he received the baron's +instructions, and then went out, and five minutes later a large wagon +belonging to the military train, covered with a miller's till, galloped +off as fast as four horses could take it, under the pouring rain, and +the officers all seemed to awaken from their lethargy, their looks +brightened, and they began to talk.</p> + +<p>Although it was raining as hard as ever, the major declared that it was +not so dull, and Lieutenant von Grossling said with conviction, that the +sky was clearing up, while Mademoiselle Fifi did not seem to be able to +keep in his place. He got up, and sat down again, and his bright eyes +seemed to be looking for something to destroy. Suddenly, looking at the +lady with the moustache, the young fellow pulled out his revolver, and +said: "You shall not see it." And without leaving his seat he aimed, and +with two successive bullets cut out both the eyes of the portrait.</p> + +<p>"Let us make a mine!" he then exclaimed, and the conversation was +suddenly interrupted, as if they had found some fresh and powerful +subject of interest. The mine was his invention, his method of +destruction, and his favorite amusement.</p> + +<p>When he left the château, the lawful owner, Count Fernand d'Amoys +d'Uville, had not had time to carry away or to hide anything, except the +plate, which had been stowed away in a hole made in one of the walls, so +that, as he was very rich and had good taste, the large drawing-room, +which opened into the dining-room, had looked like the gallery in a +museum, before his precipitate flight.</p> + +<p>Expensive oil-paintings, water colors, and drawings hung against the +walls, while on the tables, on the hanging shelves, and in elegant glass +cupboards, there were a thousand knick-knacks; small vases, statuettes, +groups in Dresden china, and grotesque Chinese figures, old ivory, and +Venetian glass, which filled the large room with their precious and +fantastical array.</p> + +<p>Scarcely anything was left now; not that the things had been stolen, for +the major would not have allowed that, but Mademoiselle Fifi <i>would have +a mine</i>, and on that occasion all the officers thoroughly enjoyed +themselves for five minutes. The little marquis went into the +drawing-room to get what he wanted, and he brought back a small, +delicate china teapot, which he filled with gunpowder, and carefully +introduced a piece of German tinder into it, through the spout. Then he +lighted it, and took this infernal machine into the next room; but he +came back immediately, and shut the door. The Germans all stood +expectantly, their faces full of childish, smiling curiosity, and as +soon as the explosion had shaken the château, they all rushed in at +once.</p> + +<p>Mademoiselle Fifi, who got in first, clapped his hands in delight at the +sight of a terra-cotta Venus, whose head had been blown off, and each +picked up pieces of porcelain, and wondered at the strange shape of the +fragments, while the major was looking with a paternal eye at the large +drawing-room, which had been wrecked in such a Neronic fashion, and +which was strewn with the fragments of works of art. He went out first, +and said, with a smile: "He managed that very well!"</p> + +<p>But there was such a cloud of smoke in the dining-room, mingled with the +tobacco smoke, that they could not breathe, so the commandant opened the +window, and all the officers, who had gone into the room for a glass of +cognac, went up to it.</p> + +<p>The moist air blew into the room, and brought a sort of moist dust with +it, which powdered their beards. They looked at the tall trees, which +were dripping with the rain, at the broad valley, which was covered with +mist, and at the church spire in the distance, which rose up like a gray +point in the beating rain.</p> + +<p>The bells had not rung since their arrival. That was the only resistance +which the invaders had met with in the neighborhood. The parish priest +had not refused to take in and to feed the Prussian soldiers; he had +several times even drunk a bottle of beer or claret with the hostile +commandant, who often employed him as a benevolent intermediary; but it +was no use to ask him for a single stroke of the bells; he would sooner +have allowed himself to be shot. That was his way of protesting against +the invasion, a peaceful and silent protest, the only one, he said, +which was suitable to a priest, who was a man of mildness and not of +blood; and everyone, for twenty-five miles around, praised Abbé +Chantavoine's firmness and heroism, in venturing to proclaim the public +morning by the obstinate silence of his church bells.</p> + +<p>The whole village grew enthusiastic over his resistance, and was ready +to back up their pastor and to risk anything, as they looked upon that +silent protest as the safeguard of the national honor. It seemed to the +peasants that thus they had deserved better of their country than +Belfort and Strassburg, that they had set an equally valuable example, +and that the name of their little village would become immortalized by +that; but with that exception, they refused their Prussian conquerors +nothing.</p> + +<p>The commandant and his officers laughed among themselves at that +inoffensive courage, and as the people in the whole country round showed +themselves obliging and compliant towards them, they willingly tolerated +their silent patriotism. Only little Baron Wilhelm would have liked to +have forced them to ring the bells. He was very angry at his superior's +politic compliance with the priest's scruples, and every day he begged +the commandant to allow him to sound "ding-dong, ding-dong," just once, +only just once, just by way of a joke. And he asked it like a wheedling +woman, in the tender voice of some mistress who wishes to obtain +something, but the commandant would not yield, and to console <i>herself</i>, +Mademoiselle Fifi made <i>a mine</i> in the château.</p> + +<p>The five men stood there together for some minutes, drawing in the moist +air, and at last, Lieutenant Fritz said, with a laugh: "The ladies will +certainly not have fine weather for their drive." Then they separated, +each to his own duties, while the captain had plenty to do in seeing +about the dinner.</p> + +<p>When they met again, as it was growing dark, they began to laugh at +seeing each other as dandified and smart as on the day of a grand +review. The commandant's hair did not look so gray as it was in the +morning, and the captain had shaved, and had only kept his moustache +on, which made him look as if he had a streak of fire under his nose.</p> + +<p>In spite of the rain, they left the window open, and one of them went to +listen from time to time, and at a quarter past six the baron said he +heard a rumbling in the distance. They all rushed down, and soon the +wagon drove up at a gallop with its four horses, which were splashed up +to their backs, steaming and panting, and five women got out at the +bottom of the steps, five handsome girls whom a comrade of the captain, +to whom <i>Le Devoir</i> had taken his card, had selected with care.</p> + +<p>They had not required much pressing, as they were sure of being well +paid, for they had got to know the Prussians in the three months during +which they had had to do with them, and so they resigned themselves to +the men as they did the state of affairs. "It is a part of our business, +so it must be done," they said as they drove along; no doubt to allay +some slight, secret scruples of conscience.</p> + +<p>They went into the dining-room immediately, which looked still more +dismal in its dilapidated state, when it was lighted up; while the +table, covered with choice dishes, the beautiful china and glass, and +the plate, which had been found in the hole in the wall where its owner +had hidden it, gave the look of a bandit's inn, where they were supping +after committing a robbery, to the place. The captain was radiant, and +took hold of the women as if he were familiar with them; appraising +them, kissing them, sniffing them, valuing them for what they were worth +as <i>ladies of pleasure</i>; and when the three young men wanted to +appropriate one each, he opposed them authoritatively, reserving to +himself the right to apportion them justly, according to their several +ranks, so as not to wound the hierarchy. Therefore, so as to avoid all +discussion, jarring, and suspicion of partiality, he placed them all in +a line according to height, and addressing the tallest, he said in a +voice of command:</p> + +<p>"What is your name?" "Pamela," she replied, raising her voice. And then +he said: "Number one, called Pamela, is adjudged to the commandant." +Then, having kissed Blondina, the second, as a sign of proprietorship, +he proffered stout Amanda to Lieutenant Otto, Eva, <i>the Tomato</i>, to +Sub-Lieutenant Fritz, and Rachel, the shortest of them all, a very +young, dark girl, with eyes as black as ink, a Jewess, whose snub nose +confirmed the rule which allots hooked noses to all her race, to the +youngest officer, frail Count Wilhelm d'Eyrick.</p> + +<p>They were all pretty and plump, without any distinctive features, and +all were very much alike in look and person, from their daily practice +of love, and their life in common in houses of public accommodation.</p> + +<p>The three younger men wished to carry off their women immediately, under +the pretext of finding them brushes and soap; but the captain wisely +opposed this, for he said they were quite fit to sit down to dinner, and +that those who went up would wish for a change when they came down, and +so would disturb the other couples, and his experience in such matters +carried the day. There were only many kisses; expectant kisses.</p> + +<p>Suddenly Rachel choked, and began to cough until the tears came into her +eyes, while smoke came through her nostrils. Under pretense of kissing +her, the count had blown a whiff of tobacco into her mouth. She did not +fly into a rage, and did not say a word, but she looked at her possessor +with latent hatred in her dark eyes.</p> + +<p>They sat down to dinner. The commandant seemed delighted; he made Pamela +sit on his right, and Blondina on his left, and said, as he unfolded his +table napkin: "That was a delightful idea of yours, Captain."</p> + +<p>Lieutenants Otto and Fritz, who were as polite as if they had been with +fashionable ladies, rather intimidated their neighbors, but Baron von +Kelweinstein gave the reins to all his vicious propensities, beamed, +made obscene remarks, and seemed on fire with his crown of red hair. He +paid them compliments in French from the other side of the Rhine, and +sputtered out gallant remarks, only fit for a low pot-house, from +between his two broken teeth.</p> + +<p>They did not understand him, however, and their intelligence did not +seem to be awakened until he uttered nasty words and broad expressions, +which were mangled by his accent. Then all began to laugh at once, like +mad women, and fell against each other, repeating the words, which the +baron then began to say all wrong, in order that he might have the +pleasure of hearing them say dirty things. They gave him as much of that +stuff as he wanted, for they were drunk after the first bottle of wine, +and, becoming themselves once more, and opening the door to their usual +habits, they kissed the moustaches on the right and left of them, +pinched their arms, uttered furious cries, drank out of every glass, and +sang French couplets, and bits of German songs, which they had picked up +in their daily intercourse with the enemy.</p> + +<p>Soon the men themselves, intoxicated by that female flesh which was +displayed to their sight and touch, grew very amorous, shouted and +broke the plates and dishes, while the soldiers behind them waited on +them stolidly. The commandant was the only one who put any restraint +upon himself.</p> + +<p>Mademoiselle Fifi had taken Rachel onto his knees, and, getting excited, +at one moment kissed the little black curls on her neck, inhaling the +pleasant warmth of her body, and all the savor of her person, through +the slight space there was between her dress and her skin, and at +another he pinched her furiously through the material, and made her +scream, for he was seized by a species of ferocity, and tormented by his +desire, to hurt her. He often held her close to him, as if to make her +part of himself, and put his lips in a long kiss on the Jewess's rosy +mouth, until she lost her breath; and at last he bit her until a stream +of blood ran down her chin and onto her bodice.</p> + +<p>For the second time, she looked him full in the face, and as she bathed +the wound, she said: "You will have to pay for that!" But he merely +laughed a hard laugh, and said: "I will pay."</p> + +<p>At dessert, champagne was served, and the commandant rose, and in the +same voice in which he would have drunk to the health of the Empress +Augusta, he drank: "To our ladies!" And a series of toasts began, toasts +worthy of the lowest soldiers and of drunkards, mingled with obscene +jokes, which were made still more brutal by their ignorance of the +language. They got up, one after another, trying to say something witty, +forcing themselves to be funny, and the women, who were so drunk that +they almost fell off their chairs, with vacant looks and clammy tongues, +applauded madly each time.</p> + +<p>The captain, who no doubt wished to impart an appearance of gallantry to +the orgy, raised his glass again, and said: "To our victories over +hearts!" And thereupon Lieutenant Otto, who was a species of bear from +the Black Forest, jumped up, inflamed and saturated with drink, and +suddenly seized by an excess of alcoholic patriotism, he cried: "To our +victories over France!"</p> + +<p>Drunk as they were, the women were silent, and Rachel turned round with +a shudder, and said: "Look here, I know some Frenchmen, in whose +presence you would not dare to say that." But the little count, still +holding her on his knee, began to laugh, for the wine had made him very +merry, and said: "Ha! ha! ha! I have never met any of them, myself. As +soon as we show ourselves, they run away!" The girl, who was in a +terrible rage, shouted into his face: "You are lying, you dirty +scoundrel!"</p> + +<p>For a moment, he looked at her steadily with his bright eyes upon her, +like he had looked at the portrait before he destroyed it with revolver +bullets, and then he began to laugh: "Ah! yes, talk about them, my dear! +Should we be here now, if they were brave?" And getting excited, he +exclaimed: "We are the masters! France belongs to us!" She jumped off +his knees with a bound, and threw herself into her chair, while he rose, +held out his glass over the table, and repeated: "France and the French, +the woods, the fields, and the houses of France belong to us!"</p> + +<p>The others, who were quite drunk, and who were suddenly seized by +military enthusiasm, the enthusiasm of brutes, seized their glasses, and +shouting: "Long live Prussia!" they emptied them at a draught.</p> + +<p>The girls did not protest, for they were reduced to silence, and were +afraid. Even Rachel did not say a word, as she had no reply to make, and +then, the little marquis put his champagne glass, which had just been +refilled, onto the head of the Jewess, and exclaimed: "All the women in +France belong to us, also!"</p> + +<p>At that, she got up so quickly that the glass upset and poured +the amber-colored wine onto her black hair as if to baptize her, +and broke into a hundred fragments, as it fell onto the floor. With +trembling lips, she defied the looks of the officer who was still +laughing, and she stammered out, in a voice choked with rage: +"That ... that ... that ... is not true for you shall certainly not +have any French women."</p> + +<p>He sat down again, so as to laugh at his ease, and trying ineffectually +to speak in the Parisian accent, he said: "That is good, very good! +Then, what did you come here for, my dear?" She was thunderstruck, and +made no reply for a moment, for in her agitation she did not understand +him at first; but as soon as she grasped his meaning, she said to him +indignantly and vehemently: "I! I! I am not a woman; I am only a +strumpet, and that is all that Prussians want."</p> + +<p>Almost before she had finished, he slapped her full in the face; but as +he was raising his hand again, as if he would strike her, she, almost +mad with passion, took up a small dessert knife with a silver blade from +the table, and stabbed him in the neck, just above the breast bone. +Something that he was going to say was cut short in his throat, and he +sat there, with his mouth half open, and a terrible look in his eyes.</p> + +<p>All the officers shouted in horror, and leaped up tumultuously; but +throwing her chair between Lieutenant Otto's legs, who fell down at +full length, she ran to the window, opened it before they could seize +her, and jumped out into the night and pouring rain.</p> + +<p>In two minutes, Mademoiselle Fifi was dead, and Fritz and Otto drew +their swords and wanted to kill the women, who threw themselves at their +feet and clung to their knees. With some difficulty the major stopped +the slaughter, and had the four terrified girls locked up in a room +under the care of two soldiers, and then he organized the pursuit of the +fugitive, as carefully as if they were about to engage in a skirmish, +feeling quite sure that she would be caught.</p> + +<p>The table, which had been cleared immediately, now served as a bed on +which to lay him out, and the four officers stood at the windows, rigid +and sobered, with the stern faces of soldiers on duty, and tried to +pierce through the darkness of the night, amid the steady torrent of +rain. Suddenly, a shot was heard, and then another, a long way off; and +for four hours they heard from time to time near or distant reports and +rallying cries, strange words uttered as a call, in guttural voices.</p> + +<p>In the morning they all returned. Two soldiers had been killed, and +three others wounded by their comrades in the ardor of that chase, and +in the confusion of such a nocturnal pursuit, but they had not caught +Rachel.</p> + +<p>Then the inhabitants of the district were terrorized, the houses were +turned topsy-turvy, the country was scoured and beaten up, over and over +again, but the Jewess did not seem to have left a single trace of her +passage behind her.</p> + +<p>When the general was told of it, he gave orders to hush up the affair, +so as not to set a bad example to the army, but he severely censured +the commandant, who in turned punished his inferiors. The general had +said: "One does not go to war in order to amuse oneself, and to caress +prostitutes." And Graf von Farlsberg, in his exasperation, made up his +mind to have his revenge on the district, but as he required a pretext +for showing severity, he sent for the priest, and ordered him to have +the bell tolled at the funeral of Baron von Eyrick.</p> + +<p>Contrary to all expectation, the priest showed himself humble and most +respectful, and when Mademoiselle Fifi's body left the Château d'Ville +on its way to the cemetery, carried by soldiers, preceded, surrounded, +and followed by soldiers, who marched with loaded rifles, for the first +time, the bell sounded its funereal knell in a lively manner, as if a +friendly hand were caressing it. At night it sounded again, and the next +day, and every day; it rang as much as any one could desire. Sometimes +even, it would start at night, and sound gently through the darkness, +seized by strange joy, awakened, one could not tell why. All the +peasants in the neighborhood declared that it was bewitched, and nobody, +except the priest and the sacristan would now go near the church tower, +and they went because a poor girl was living there in grief and +solitude, and secretly nourished by those two men.</p> + +<p>She remained there until the German troops departed, and then one +evening the priest borrowed the baker's cart, and himself drove his +prisoner to Rouen. When they got there, he embraced her, and she quickly +went back on foot to the establishment from which she had come, where +the proprietress, who thought that she was dead, was very glad to see +her.</p> + +<p>A short time afterwards, a patriot who had no prejudices, and who liked +her because of her bold deed, and who afterwards loved her for herself, +married her, and made a lady of her, who was quite as good as many +others.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_STORY_OF_A_FARM-GIRL" id="THE_STORY_OF_A_FARM-GIRL"></a>THE STORY OF A FARM-GIRL</h2> + + +<h3>PART I</h3> + +<p>As the weather was very fine, the people on the farm had dined more +speedily than usual, and had returned to the fields.</p> + +<p>The female servant, Rose, remained alone in the large kitchen, where the +fire on the hearth was dying out, under the large boiler of hot water. +From time to time she took some water out of it, and slowly washed her +plates and dishes, stopping occasionally to look at the two streaks of +light which the sun threw onto the long table through the window, and +which showed the defects in the glass.</p> + +<p>Three venturesome hens were picking up the crumbs under the chairs, +while the smell of the poultry yard, and the warmth from the cow-stall +came in through the half-open door, and a cock was heard crowing in the +distance.</p> + +<p>When she had finished her work, wiped down the table, dusted the +mantel-piece, and put the plates onto the high dresser, close to the +wooden clock, with its enormous <i>tic-tac</i>, she drew a long breath, as +she felt rather oppressed, without exactly knowing why. She looked at +the black clay walls, the rafters that were blackened with smoke, from +which spiders' webs were hanging, amid pickled herrings and strings of +onions, and then she sat down, rather overcome by the stale emanations +which the floor, onto which so many things had been continually spilt, +gave out. With this, there was mingled the pungent smell of the pans of +milk, which were set out to raise the cream in the adjoining dairy.</p> + +<p>She wanted to sew, as usual, but she did not feel strong enough for it, +and so she went to get a mouthful of fresh air at the door, which seemed +to do her good.</p> + +<p>The fowls were lying on the smoking dung-hill; some of them were +scratching with one claw in search of worms, while the cock stood up +proudly among them. Every moment he selected one of them, and walked +round her with a slight cluck of amorous invitation. The hen got up in a +careless way as she received his attentions, and only supported herself +on her legs and spread out her wings; then she shook her feathers to +shake out the dust, and stretched herself out on the dung-hill again, +while he crowed, in sign of triumph, and the cocks in all the +neighboring farmyards replied to him, as if they were uttering amorous +challenges from farm to farm.</p> + +<p>The girl looked at them without thinking, and then she raised her eyes +and was almost dazzled at the sight of the apple-trees in blossom, which +looked almost like powdered heads. But just then, a colt, full of life +and friskiness, galloped past her. Twice he jumped over the ditches, and +then stopped suddenly, as if surprised at being alone.</p> + +<p>She also felt inclined to run; she felt inclined to move and to stretch +her limbs, and to repose in the warm, breathless air. She took a few +undecided steps, and closed her eyes, for she was seized with a feeling +of animal comfort; and then she went to look for the eggs in the hen +loft. There were thirteen of them, which she took in and put into the +store-room; but the smell from the kitchen incommoded her again, and +she went out to sit on the grass for a time.</p> + +<p>The farmyard, which was surrounded by trees, seemed to be asleep. The +tall grass, among which the tall yellow dandelions rose up like streaks +of yellow light, was of a vivid green, fresh spring green. The +apple-trees threw their shade all round them, and the thatched houses, +on which the blue and yellow iris flowers with their swordlike leaves +grew, smoked as if the moisture of the stables and barns were coming +through the straw.</p> + +<p>The girl went to the shed where the carts and traps were kept. Close to +it, in a ditch, there was a large patch of violets, whose scent was +perceptible all round, while beyond it, the open country could be seen +where the corn was growing, with clumps of trees in the distance, and +groups of laborers here and there, who looked as small as dolls, and +white horses like toys, who were pulling a child's cart, driven by a man +as tall as one's finger.</p> + +<p>She took up a bundle of straw, and threw it into the ditch and sat down +upon it; then, not feeling comfortable, she undid it, spread it out and +lay down upon it at full length, on her back, with both arms under her +head, and her legs stretched out.</p> + +<p>Gradually her eyes closed, and she was falling into a state of +delightful languor. She was, in fact, almost asleep, when she felt two +hands on her bosom, and then she sprang up at a bound. It was Jacques, +one of the farm laborers, a tall fellow from Picardy, who had been +making love to her for a long time. He had been looking after the sheep, +and seeing her lying down in the shade, he had come stealthily, and +holding his breath, with glistening eyes, and bits of straw in his hair.</p> + +<p>He tried to kiss her, but she gave him a smack in the face, for she was +as strong as he, and he was shrewd enough to beg her pardon; so they sat +down side by side and talked amicably. They spoke about the favorable +weather, of their master, who was a good fellow, then of their +neighbors, of all the people in the country round, of themselves, of +their village, of their youthful days, of their recollections, of their +relations, who had left them for a long time, and it might be for ever. +She grew sad as she thought of it, while he, with one fixed idea in his +head, rubbed against her with a kind of a shiver, overcome by desire.</p> + +<p>"I have not seen my mother for a long time," she said. "It is very hard +to be separated like that." And she directed her looks into the +distance, towards the village in the North, which she had left.</p> + +<p>Suddenly, however, he seized her by the neck and kissed her again; but +she struck him so violently in the face with her clenched fist, that his +nose began to bleed, and he got up and laid his head against the stem of +a tree. When she saw that, she was sorry, and going up to him, she said: +"Have I hurt you?" He, however, only laughed. "No, it was a mere +nothing;" only, she had hit him right on the middle of the nose. "What a +devil!" he said, and he looked at her with admiration, for she had +inspired him with a feeling of respect and of a very different kind of +admiration, which was the beginning of real love for that tall, strong +wench.</p> + +<p>When the bleeding had stopped, he proposed a walk, as he was afraid of +his neighbor's heavy hand, if they remained side by side like that much +longer; but she took his arm of her own accord, in the avenue, as if +they had been out for an evening walk, and said: "It is not nice of you +to despise me like that, Jacques." He protested, however. No, he did not +despise her. He was in love with her, that was all. "So you really want +to marry me?" she asked.</p> + +<p>He hesitated, and then looked at her aside, while she looked straight +ahead of her. She had fat, red cheeks, a full, protuberant bust under +her muslin dress, thick, red lips, and her neck, which was almost bare, +was covered with small beads of perspiration. He felt a fresh access of +desire, and putting his lips to her ear, he murmured: "Yes, of course I +do."</p> + +<p>Then she threw her arms round his neck, and kissed for such a long time +that they both of them lost their breath. From that moment the eternal +story of love began between them. They plagued one another in corners; +they met in the moonlight under a haystack, and gave each other bruises +on the legs with their heavy nailed boots. By degrees, however, Jacques +seemed to grow tired of her; he avoided her; scarcely spoke to her, and +did not try any longer to meet her alone, which made her sad and +anxious; and soon she found that she was pregnant.</p> + +<p>At first, she was in a state of consternation, but then she got angry, +and her rage increased every day, because she could not meet him, as he +avoided her most carefully. At last, one night when everyone in the +farmhouse was asleep, she went out noiselessly in her petticoat, with +bare feet, crossed the yard and opened the door of the stable, where +Jacques was lying in a large box of straw, over his horses. He pretended +to snore when he heard her coming, but she knelt down by his side and +shook him until he sat up.</p> + +<p>"What do you want?" he then asked her. And she, with clenched teeth, and +trembling with anger, replied: "I want ... I want you to marry me, as +you promised." But he only laughed, and replied: "Oh! If a man were to +marry all the girls with whom he has made a slip, he would have more +than enough to do."</p> + +<p>Then she seized him by the throat, threw him onto his back, so that he +could not disengage himself from her, and half strangling him, she +shouted into his face: "I am in the family way! Do you hear? I am in the +family way?"</p> + +<p>He gasped for breath, as he was nearly choked, and so they remained, +both of them, motionless and without speaking, in the dark silence, +which was only broken by the noise that a horse made as he pulled the +hay out of the manger, and then slowly chewed it.</p> + +<p>When Jacques found that she was the stronger, he stammered out: "Very +well, I will marry you, as that is the case." But she did not believe +his promises. "It must be at once," she said. "You must have the banns +put up." "At once," he replied. "Swear solemnly that you will." He +hesitated for a few moments, and then said: "I swear it, by heaven."</p> + +<p>Then she released her grasp, and went away, without another word.</p> + +<p>She had no chance of speaking to him for several days, and as the stable +was now always locked at night, she was afraid to make any noise, for +fear of creating a scandal. One morning, however, she saw another man +come in at dinner-time, and so she said: "Has Jacques left?" "Yes," the +man replied; "I have got his place."</p> + +<p>This made her tremble so violently that she could not take the saucepan +off the fire; and later when they were all at work, she went up into her +room and cried, burying her head in her bolster, so that she might not +be heard. During the day, however, she tried to obtain some information +without exciting any suspicions, but she was so overwhelmed by the +thoughts of her misfortune, that she fancied that all the people whom +she asked, laughed maliciously. All she learned, however, was, that he +had left the neighborhood altogether.</p> + + +<h3>PART II</h3> + +<p>Then a cloud of constant misery began for her. She worked mechanically, +without thinking of what she was doing, with one fixed idea in her head: +"Suppose people were to know."</p> + +<p>This continual feeling made her so incapable of reasoning, that she did +not even try to think of any means of avoiding the disgrace that she +knew must ensue, which was irreparable, and drawing nearer every day, +and which was as sure as death itself. She got up every morning long +before the others, and persistently tried to look at her figure in a +piece of broken looking-glass at which she did her hair, as she was very +anxious to know whether anybody would notice a change in her, and during +the day she stopped working every few minutes to look at herself from +top to toe, to see whether the size of her stomach did not make her +apron look too short.</p> + +<p>The months went on, and she scarcely spoke now, and when she was asked +a question, she did not appear to understand, but she had a frightened +look, with haggard eyes and trembling hands, which made her master say +to her occasionally: "My poor girl, how stupid you have grown lately."</p> + +<p>In church, she hid behind a pillar, and no longer ventured to go to +confession, as she feared to face the priest, to whom she attributed +superhuman powers, which enabled him to read people's consciences; and +at meal times, the looks of her fellow servants almost made her faint +with mental agony, and she was always fancying that she had been found +out by the cowherd, a precocious and cunning little lad, whose bright +eyes seemed always to be watching her.</p> + +<p>One morning the postman brought her a letter, and as she had never +received one in her life before, she was so upset by it that she was +obliged to sit down. Perhaps it was from him? But as she could not read, +she sat anxious and trembling, with that piece of paper covered with ink +in her hand; after a time, however, she put it into her pocket, as she +did not venture to confide her secret to anyone. She often stopped in +her work to look at those lines written at regular intervals, and which +terminated in a signature, imagining vaguely that she would suddenly +discover their meaning, until at last, as she felt half mad with +impatience and anxiety, she went to the schoolmaster, who told her to +sit down, and read to her, as follows:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>MY DEAR DAUGHTER: I write to tell you that I am very ill. Our +neighbor, Monsieur Dentu, begs you to come, if you can. For your +affectionate mother,</p> + +<p> +CESAIRE DENTU,<br /> +DEPUTY MAYOR. +</p></div> + +<p>She did not say a word, and went away, but as soon as she was alone, +her legs gave way, and she fell down by the roadside, and remained there +till night.</p> + +<p>When she got back, she told the farmer her trouble, who allowed her to +go home for as long as she wanted, and promised to have her work done by +a char-woman, and to take her back when she returned.</p> + +<p>Her mother died soon after she got there, and the next day Rose gave +birth to a seven months' child, a miserable little skeleton, thin enough +to make anybody shudder, and which seemed to be suffering continually, +to judge from the painful manner in which it moved its poor little hands +about, which were as thin as a crab's legs, but it lived, for all that. +She said that she was married, but that she could not saddle herself +with the child, so she left it with some neighbors, who promised to take +great care of it, and she went back to the farm.</p> + +<p>But then, in her heart, which had been wounded so long, there arose +something like brightness, an unknown love for that frail little +creature which she had left behind her, but there was fresh suffering in +that very love, suffering which she felt every hour and every minute, +because she was parted from her child. What pained her most, however, +was a mad longing to kiss it, to press it in her arms, to feel the +warmth of its little body against her skin. She could not sleep at +night; she thought of it the whole day long, and in the evening, when +her work was done, she used to sit in front of the fire and look at it +intently, like people do whose thoughts are far away.</p> + +<p>They began to talk about her, and to tease her about her lover. They +asked her whether he was tall, handsome and rich. When was the wedding +to be, and the christening? And often she ran away, to cry by herself, +for these questions seemed to hurt her, like the prick of a pin, and in +order to forget their jokes, she began to work still more energetically, +and still thinking of her child, she sought for the means of saving up +money for it, and determined to work so that her master would be obliged +to raise her wages.</p> + +<p>Then, by degrees, she almost monopolized the work, and persuaded him to +get rid of one servant girl, who had become useless since she had taken +to working like two; she economized in the bread, oil and candles, in +the corn, which they gave to the fowls too extravagantly, and in the +fodder for the horses and cattle, which was rather wasted. She was as +miserly about her master's money, as if it had been her own, and by dint +of making good bargains, of getting high prices for all their produce, +and by baffling the peasants' tricks when they offered anything for +sale, he at last entrusted her with buying and selling everything, with +the direction of all the laborers, and with the quantity of provisions +necessary for the household, so that in a short time she became +indispensable to him. She kept such a strict eye on everything about +her, that under her direction the farm prospered wonderfully, and for +five miles round people talked of "Master Vallin's servant," and the +farmer himself said everywhere: "That girl is worth more than her weight +in gold."</p> + +<p>But time passed by, and her wages remained the same. Her hard work was +accepted as something that was due from every good servant, and as a +mere token of her good-will; and she began to think rather bitterly, +that if the farmer could put fifty or a hundred crowns extra into the +bank every month, thanks to her, she was still only earning her two +hundred francs a year, neither more nor less, and so she made up her +mind to ask for an increase of wages. She went to see the schoolmaster +three times about it, but when she got there, she spoke about something +else. She felt a kind of modesty in asking for money, as if it was +something disgraceful; but at last, one day, when the farmer was having +breakfast by himself in the kitchen, she said to him, with some +embarrassment, that she wished to speak to him particularly. He raised +his head in surprise, with both his hands on the table, holding his +knife, with its point in the air, in one, and a piece of bread in the +other, and he looked fixedly at the girl, who felt uncomfortable under +his gaze, but asked for a week's holiday, so that she might get away, as +she was not very well. He acceded to her request immediately, and then +added, in some embarrassment, himself:</p> + +<p>"When you come back, I shall have something to say to you, myself."</p> + + +<h3>PART III</h3> + +<p>The child was nearly eight months old, and she did not know it again. It +had grown rosy and chubby all over like a little bundle of living fat. +She threw herself onto it as if it had been some prey, and kissed it so +violently that it began to scream with terror, and then she began to cry +herself, because it did not know her, and stretched out its arms to its +nurse, as soon as it saw her. But the next day, it began to get used to +her, and laughed when it saw her, and she took it into the fields and +ran about excitedly with it, and sat down under the shade of the trees, +and then, for the first time in her life, she opened her heart to +somebody, and told him her troubles, how hard her work was, her +anxieties and her hopes, and she quite tired the child with the violence +of her caresses.</p> + +<p>She took the greatest pleasure in handling it, in washing and dressing +it, for it seemed to her that all this was the confirmation of her +maternity, and she would look at it, almost feeling surprised that it +was hers, and she used to say to herself in a low voice, as she danced +it in her arms: "It is my baby, it is my baby."</p> + +<p>She cried all the way home as she returned to the farm, and had scarcely +got in, before her master called her into his room, and she went, +feeling astonished and nervous, without knowing why.</p> + +<p>"Sit down there," he said. She sat down, and for some moments they +remained side by side, in some embarrassment, with their arms hanging at +their sides, as if they did not know what to do with them, and looking +each other in the face, after the manner of peasants.</p> + +<p>The farmer, a stout, jovial, obstinate man of forty-five, who had lost +two wives, evidently felt embarrassed, which was very unusual with him, +but at last he made up his mind, and began to speak vaguely, hesitating +a little, and looking out of the window as he talked. "How is it, Rose," +he said, "that you have never thought of settling in life?" She grew as +pale as death, and seeing that she gave him no answer, he went on: "You +are a good, steady, active and economical girl, and a wife like you +would make a man's fortune."</p> + +<p>She did not move, but looked frightened; she did not even try to +comprehend his meaning, for her thoughts were in a whirl, as if at the +approach of some great danger; so after waiting for a few seconds, he +went on: "You see, a farm without a mistress can never succeed, even +with a servant like you are." Then he stopped, for he did not know what +else to say, and Rose looked at him with the air of a person who thinks +that he is face to face with a murderer, and ready to flee at the +slightest movement he may make; but after waiting for about five +minutes, he asked her: "Well, will it suit you?" "Will what suit me, +master?" And he said, quickly: "Why, to marry me, by Jove!"</p> + +<p>She jumped up, but fell back onto her chair as if she had been struck, +and there she remained motionless, like a person who is overwhelmed by +some great misfortune, but at last the farmer grew impatient, and said: +"Come, what more do you want?" She looked at him almost in terror; then +suddenly the tears came into her eyes, and she said twice, in a choking +voice: "I cannot, I cannot!" "Why not?" he asked. "Come, don't be silly; +I will give you until to-morrow to think it over."</p> + +<p>And he hurried out of the room, very glad to have got the matter, which +had troubled him a good deal, over; for he had no doubt that she would +the next morning accept a proposal which she could never have expected, +and which would be a capital bargain for him, as he thus bound a woman +to himself who would certainly bring him more than if she had the best +dowry in the district.</p> + +<p>Neither could there be any scruples about an unequal match between them, +for in the country everyone is very nearly equal; the farmer works just +like his laborers do, who frequently become masters in their turn, and +the female servants constantly become the mistresses of the +establishments, without its making any change in their lives or habits.</p> + +<p>Rose did not go to bed that night. She threw herself, dressed as she +was, onto her bed, and she had not even the strength to cry left in her, +she was so thoroughly dumbfounded. She remained quite inert, scarcely +knowing that she had a body, and without being at all able to collect +her thoughts, though at moments she remembered some of what had +happened, and then she was frightened at the idea of what might happen. +Her terror increased, and every time the great kitchen clock struck the +hour she broke into a perspiration from grief. She lost her head, and +had the nightmare; her candle went out, and then she began to imagine +that someone had thrown a spell over her, like country people so often +fancy, and she felt a mad inclination to run away, to escape and to flee +before her misfortune, like a ship scuds before the wind.</p> + +<p>An owl hooted, and she shivered, sat up, put her hands to her face, into +her hair, and all over her body, and then she went downstairs, as if she +were walking in her sleep. When she got into the yard, she stooped down, +so as not to be seen by any prowling scamp, for the moon, which was +setting, shed a bright light over the fields. Instead of opening the +gate, she scrambled over the fence, and as soon as she was outside, she +started off. She went on straight before her, with a quick, elastic +trot, and from time to time, she unconsciously uttered a piercing cry. +Her long shadow accompanied her, and now and then some night bird flew +over her head, while the dogs in the farmyards barked, as they heard her +pass; one even jumped over the ditch and followed her and tried to bite +her, but she turned round at it, and gave such a terrible yell, that the +frightened animal ran back and cowered in silence in its kennel.</p> + +<p>The stars grew dim, and the birds began to twitter; day was breaking. +The girl was worn out and panting, and when the sun rose in the purple +sky, she stopped, for her swollen feet refused to go any further; but +she saw a pond in the distance, a large pond whose stagnant water looked +like blood under the reflection of this new day, and she limped on with +short steps and with her hand on her heart, in order to dip both her +legs in it. She sat down on a tuft of grass, took off her heavy shoes, +which were full of dust, pulled off her stockings and plunged her legs +into the still water, from which bubbles were rising here and there.</p> + +<p>A feeling of delicious coolness pervaded her from head to foot, and +suddenly, while she was looking fixedly at the deep pool, she was seized +with giddiness, and with a mad longing to throw herself into it. All her +sufferings would be over in there; over for ever. She no longer thought +of her child; she only wanted peace, complete rest, and to sleep for +ever, and she got up with raised arms and took two steps forward. She +was in the water up to her thighs, and she was just about to throw +herself in, when sharp, pricking pains in her ankles made her jump back, +and she uttered a cry of despair, for, from her knees to the tips of her +feet, long, black leeches were sucking in her life blood, and were +swelling, as they adhered to her flesh. She did not dare to touch them, +and screamed with horror, so that her cries of despair attracted a +peasant, who was driving along at some distance, to the spot. He pulled +off the leeches one by one, applied herbs to the wounds, and drove the +girl to her master's farm, in his gig.</p> + +<p>She was in bed for a fortnight, and as she was sitting outside the door +on the first morning that she got up, the farmer suddenly came and +planted himself before her. "Well," he said, "I suppose the affair is +settled, isn't it?" She did not reply at first, and then, as he remained +standing and looking at her intently with his piercing eyes, she said +with difficulty: "No, master, I cannot." But he immediately flew into a +rage.</p> + +<p>"You cannot, girl; you cannot? I should just like to know the reason +why?" She began to cry, and repeated: "I cannot." He looked at her and +then exclaimed, angrily: "Then, I suppose you have a lover?" "Perhaps +that is it," she replied, trembling with shame.</p> + +<p>The man got as red as a poppy, and stammered out in a rage: "Ah! So you +confess it, you slut! And pray, who is the fellow? Some penniless, +half-starved rag-a-muffin, without a roof to his head, I suppose? Who is +it, I say?" And as she gave him no answer, he continued: "Ah! So you +will not tell me. Then I will tell you; it is Jean Bauda?" "No, not he," +she exclaimed. "Then it is Pierre Martin?" "Oh, no, master."</p> + +<p>And he angrily mentioned all the young fellows in the neighborhood, +while she denied that he had hit upon the right one, and every moment +wiped her eyes with the corner of her big blue apron. But he still tried +to find it out, with his brutish obstinacy, and, as it were, scratched +her heart to discover her secret, just like a terrier scratches at a +hole, to try and get at the animal which he scents in it. Suddenly, +however, the man shouted: "By George! It is Jacques, the man who was +here last year. They used to say that you were always talking together, +and that you thought about getting married."</p> + +<p>Rose was choking, and she grew scarlet, while her tears suddenly +stopped, and dried up on her cheeks, like drops of water on hot iron, +and she exclaimed: "No, it is not he, it is not he!" "Is that really a +fact?" the cunning peasant, who partly guessed the truth, asked; and she +replied, hastily: "I will swear it; I will swear it to you...." She +tried to think of something by which to swear, as she did not venture to +invoke sacred things, but he interrupted her: "At any rate, he used to +follow you into every corner, and devoured you with his eyes at meal +times. Did you ever give him your promise, eh?"</p> + +<p>This time she looked her master straight in the face. "No, never, never; +I will solemnly swear to you, that if he were to come to-day and ask me +to marry him, I would have nothing to do with him." She spoke with such +an air of sincerity that the farmer hesitated, and then he continued, as +if speaking to himself: "What, then? You have not had <i>a misfortune</i>, as +they call it, or it would have been known, and as it has no +consequences, no girl would refuse her master on that account. There +must be something at the bottom of it, however."</p> + +<p>She could say nothing; she had not the strength to speak, and he asked +her again: "You will not?" "I cannot, master," she said, with a sigh, +and he turned on his heel.</p> + +<p>She thought she had got rid of him altogether, and spent the rest of +the day almost tranquilly, but as worn out as if she had been turning +the threshing machine all day, instead of the old white horse, and she +went to bed as soon as she could, and fell asleep immediately. In the +middle of the night, however, two hands touching the bed, woke her. She +trembled with fear, but she immediately recognized the farmer's voice, +when he said to her: "Don't be frightened, Rose; I have come to speak to +you." She was surprised at first, but when he tried to take liberties +with her, she understood what he wanted, and began to tremble violently, +as she felt quite alone in the darkness, still heavy from sleep, and +quite unprotected, by the side of that man, who stood near her. She +certainly did not consent, but she resisted carelessly, herself +struggling against that instinct which is always strong in simple +natures, and very imperfectly protected, by the undecided will of inert +and feeble natures. She turned her head now to the wall, and now towards +the room, in order to avoid the attentions which the farmer tried to +press on her, and her body writhed a little under the coverlet, as she +was weakened by the fatigue of the struggle, while he became brutal, +intoxicated by desire.</p> + +<p>They lived together as man and wife, and one morning he said to her: "I +have put up our banns, and we will get married next month."</p> + +<p>She did not reply, for what could she say? She did not resist, for what +could she do?</p> + + +<h3>PART IV</h3> + +<p>She married him. She felt as if she were in a pit with inaccessible +edges, from which she could never get out, and all kinds of misfortunes +remained hanging over her head, like huge rocks, which would fall on the +first occasion. Her husband gave her the impression of a man whom she +had stolen, and who would find it out some day or other. And then she +thought of her child, who was the cause of her misfortunes, but who was +also the cause of all her happiness on earth, and whom she went to see +twice a year, though she came back more unhappy each time. But she +gradually grew accustomed to her life, her fears were allayed, her heart +was at rest, and she lived with an easier mind, though still with some +vague fear floating in her mind, and so years went on, and the child was +six. She was almost happy now, when suddenly the farmer's temper grew +very bad.</p> + +<p>For two or three years he seemed to have been nursing some secret +anxiety, to be trouble by some care, some mental disturbance, which was +gradually increasing. He remained at table a long time after dinner, +with his head in his hands, sad and devoured by sorrow. He always spoke +hastily, sometimes even brutally, and it even seemed as if he bore a +grudge against his wife, for at times he answered her roughly, almost +angrily.</p> + +<p>One day, when a neighbor's boy came for some eggs, and she spoke very +crossly to him, as she was very busy, her husband suddenly came in, and +said to her in his unpleasant voice: "If that were your own child you +would not treat him so." She was hurt, and did not reply, and then she +went back into the house, with all her grief awakened afresh, and at +dinner, the farmer neither spoke to her, nor looked at her, and he +seemed to hate her, to despise her, to know something about the affair +at last. In consequence, she lost her head, and did not venture to +remain alone with him after the meal was over, but she left the room +and hastened to the church.</p> + +<p>It was getting dusk; the narrow nave was in total darkness, but she +heard footsteps in the choir, for the sacristan was preparing the +tabernacle lamp for the night. That spot of trembling light, which was +lost in the darkness of the arches, looked to Rose like her last hope, +and with her eyes fixed on it, she fell on her knees. The chain rattled +as the little lamp swung up into the air, and almost immediately the +small bell rang out the <i>Angelus</i> through the increasing mist. She went +up to him, as he was going out.</p> + +<p>"Is Monsieur le Curé at home?" she asked. "Of course he is; this is his +dinner-time." She trembled as she rang the bell of the parsonage. The +priest was just sitting down to dinner, and he made her sit down also. +"Yes, yes, I know all about it; your husband has mentioned the matter to +me that brings you here." The poor woman nearly fainted, and the priest +continued: "What do you want, my child?" And he hastily swallowed +several spoonfuls of soup, some of which dropped onto his greasy +cassock. But Rose did not venture to say anything more, and she got up +to go, but the priest said: "Courage...."</p> + +<p>And she went out, and returned to the farm, without knowing what she was +doing. The farmer was waiting for her, as the laborers had gone away +during her absence, and she fell heavily at his feet, and shedding a +flood of tears, she said to him: "What have you got against me?"</p> + +<p>He began to shout and to swear: "What have I got against you? That I +have no children by ——! When a man takes a wife, he does not want to be +left alone with her until the end of his days. That is what I have +against you. When a cow has no calves, she is not worth anything, and +when a woman has no children, she is also not worth anything."</p> + +<p>She began to cry, and said: "It is not my fault! It is not my fault!" He +grew rather more gentle when he heard that, and added: "I do not say +that it is, but it is very annoying, all the same."</p> + + +<h3>PART V</h3> + +<p>From that day forward, she had only one thought; to have a child, +another child; she confided her wish to everybody, and in consequence of +this, a neighbor told her of an infallible method. This was, to make her +husband a glass of water with a pinch of ashes in it, every evening. The +farmer consented to try it, but without success; so they said to each +other: "Perhaps there are some secret ways?" And they tried to find out. +They were told of a shepherd who lived ten leagues off, and so Vallin +one day drove off to consult him. The shepherd gave him a loaf on which +he had made some marks; it was kneaded up with herbs, and both of them +were to eat a piece of it before and after their mutual caresses: but +they ate the whole loaf without obtaining any results from it.</p> + +<p>Next, a schoolmaster unveiled mysteries, and processes of love which +were unknown in the country, but, infallible, so he declared; but none +of them had the desired effect. Then the priest advised them to make a +pilgrimage to the shrine at Fécamp. Rose went with the crowd and +prostrated herself in the abbey, and mingling her prayers with the +coarse wishes of the peasants around her, she prayed that she might be +fruitful a second time; but it was in vain, and then she thought that +she was being punished for her first fault, and she was seized by +terrible grief. She was wasting away with sorrow; her husband was also +aging prematurely, and was wearing himself out in useless hopes.</p> + +<p>Then war broke out between them; he called her names and beat her. They +quarreled all day long, and when they were in bed together at night he +flung insults and obscenities at her, panting with rage, until one +night, not being able to think of any means of making her suffer more, +he ordered her to get up and go and stand out of doors in the rain, +until daylight. As she did not obey him, he seized her by the neck, and +began to strike her in the face with his fists, but she said nothing, +and did not move. In his exasperation he knelt on her stomach, and with +clenched teeth, and mad with rage, he began to beat her. Then in her +despair she rebelled, and flinging him against the wall with a furious +gesture, she sat up, and in an altered voice, she hissed: "I have had a +child, I have had one! I had it by Jacques; you know Jacques well. He +promised to marry me, but he left this neighborhood without keeping his +word."</p> + +<p>The man was thunderstruck, and could hardly speak, but at last he +stammered out: "What are you saying? What are you saying?" Then she +began to sob, and amidst her tears she said: "That was the reason why I +did not want to marry you. I could never tell you, for you would have +left me without any bread for my child. You have never had any children, +so you cannot understand, you cannot understand!"</p> + +<p>He said again, mechanically, with increasing surprise: "You have a +child? You have a child?" "You had me by force, as I suppose you know? +I did not want to marry you," she said, still sobbing.</p> + +<p>Then he got up, lit the candle, and began to walk up and down, with his +arms behind him. She was cowering on the bed and crying, and suddenly he +stopped in front of her, and said: "Then it is my fault that you have no +children?" She gave him no answer, and he began to walk up and down +again, and then, stopping again, he continued: "How old is your child?" +"Just six," she whispered. "Why did you not tell me about it?" he asked. +"How could I?" she replied, with a sigh.</p> + +<p>He remained standing, motionless. "Come, get up," he said. She got up, +with some difficulty, and then, when she was standing on the floor, he +suddenly began to laugh, with his hearty laugh of his good days, and +seeing how surprised she was, he added: "Very well, we will go and fetch +the child, as you and I can have none together."</p> + +<p>She was so scared that, if she had the strength, she would assuredly +have run away, but the farmer rubbed his hands and said: "I wanted to +adopt one, and now we have found one. I asked the Curé about an orphan, +some time ago."</p> + +<p>Then, still laughing, he kissed his weeping and agitated wife on both +cheeks, and shouted out, as if she could not hear him: "Come along, +mother, we will go and see whether there is any soup left; I should not +mind a plateful."</p> + +<p>She put on her petticoat, and they went down stairs; and while she was +kneeling in front of the fire-place, and lighting the fire under the +saucepan, he continued to walk up and down the kitchen in long strides, +and said:</p> + +<p>"Well, I am really glad at this: I am not saying it for form's sake, but +I am glad, I am really very glad."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MAMMA_STIRLING" id="MAMMA_STIRLING"></a>MAMMA STIRLING</h2> + + +<p>Tall, slim, looking almost naked under her transparent dress of gauze, +which fell in straight folds as far as the gold bracelets on her slender +wrists, with languor in her rich voice, and something undulating and +feline in the rhythmical swing of her wrist and hips. Tatia Caroly was +singing one of those sweet Creole songs which call up some far distant +fairy-like country, and unknown caresses, for which the lips remain +always thirsting.</p> + +<p>Footit, the clown, was leaning against the piano with a blackened face, +and with his mouth that looked like a red gash from a saber cut, and his +wide open eyes, he expressed feelings of the most extravagant emotion, +while some niggers squatted on the ground, and accompanied the orchestra +by strumming on some yellow, empty gourds.</p> + +<p>But what made the woman and the children in the pantomime of the "New +Circus" laugh most, was the incessant quarrel between an enormous Danish +hound and a poor old supernumerary, who was blackened like a negro +minstrel, and dressed like a Mulatto woman. The dog was always annoying +him, followed him, snapped at his legs, and at his old wig, with his +sharp teeth, and tore his coat and his silk pocket-handkerchief, +whenever he could get hold of it, to pieces. And the man used positively +to allow himself to be molested and bitten, played his part with dull +resignation, with mechanical unconsciousness of a man who has come down +in the world, and who gains his livelihood as best he can, and who has +already endured worse things than that.</p> + +<p>And when half turning round to the two club men, with whom she had just +been dining at the <i>Café Anglais</i>, as she used her large fan of black +feathers, in a pretty, supple pose, with the light falling on to the +nape of her fair neck, Noele de Fréjus exclaimed: "Wherever did they +unearth that horrible, grotesque figure?"</p> + +<p>Lord Shelley, who was a pillar of the circuses, and who knew the +performances, the length of time the acrobats had been performing, and +the private history of all of them, whether clowns or circus riders, +replied: "Do not you recognize him, my dear?" "That lump of soot?... Are +you having a joke with me?"</p> + +<p>"He certainly has very much changed, poor fellow, and not to his +advantage...Nevertheless James Stirling was a model of manly beauty and +elegance, and he led such an extravagant life that all sorts of stories +were rife about him, and many people declared that he was some +high-class adventurer...At any rate he thought no more of danger than he +did of smoking a good cigar.</p> + +<p>"Do you not remember him at the Hippodrome, when he stood on the bare +back of a horse, and drove five other tandem fashion at full gallop and +without making a mistake, but checking them, or urging them on with his +thin, muscular hands, just as he pleased. And he seemed to be riveted on +to the horse, and kept on it, as if he had been held on by invisible +hands."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I remember him...James Stirling," she said. "The circus rider, +James Stirling, on whose account that tall girl Caro, who was also a +circus rider, gave that old stager Blanche Taupin a cut right and left +across the face with her riding-whip, because she had tried to get him +from her...But what can have happened to him, to have brought him down +to such a position?"</p> + +<p>Horrible, hairy monkeys, grimacing under their red and blue masks, had +invaded the arena, and with their hair hanging down on to their bare +shoulders, looking very funny with their long tails, their gray skin +tights and their velvet breeches, these female dancers twisted, jumped, +hopped and drew their lascivious and voluptuous circle more closely +round <i>Chocolat</i>, who shook the red skirts of his coat, rolled his eyes, +and showed his large, white teeth in a foolish smile, as if he were the +prey of irresistible desire, and yet terribly afraid of what might +happen, and Lord Shelley taking some grapes out of a basket that Noele +de Fréjus offered him, said: "It is not a very cheerful story, but then +true stories rarely are. At the time when he was still unknown, and when +he used to have to tighten his belt more frequently than he got enough +to eat and drink, James Stirling followed the destinies of a circus +which traveled with its vans from fair to fair and from place to place, +and fell in love with a gipsy columbine, who also formed part of this +wandering, half starved company.</p> + +<p>"She was not twenty, and astonished the others by her rash boldness, her +absolute contempt for danger and obstacles, and her strange and adroit +strength. She charmed them also by a magic philter which came from her +hair, which was darker that a starless night, from her large, black, +coaxing, velvety eyes, that were concealed by the fringe of such long +lashes that they curled upwards, from her scented skin, that was as +soft as rice paper, and every touch of which was a suggestive and +tempting caress, from her firm, full, smiling, childlike mouth, which +uttered nothing but laughter, jokes, and love songs, and gave promise of +kisses.</p> + +<p>"She rode bare-backed horses, without bit or bridle, stretched herself +out on their backs, as if on a bed, and mingled her disheveled hair with +their manes, swaying her supple body to their most impetuous movements, +and at other times standing almost on their shoulders or on the crupper, +while she juggled with looking-glasses, brass balls, knives that flashed +as they twirled rapidly round in the smoky light of the paraffin lamps +that were fastened to the tent poles.</p> + +<p>"Her name was <i>Sacha</i>, that pretty Slavonic name which has such a sweet +and strange sound, and she gave herself to him entirely, because he was +handsome, strong, and spoke to women very gently, like one talks to +quite little children, who are so easily frightened, and made to cry, +and it was on her account that in a quarrel in Holland he knocked down +an Italian wild beast tamer, by a blow between the two eyes.</p> + +<p>"They adored each other so, that they never thought of their poverty, +but redoubled their caresses when they had nothing to eat, not even an +unripe apple stolen from an orchard, nor a lump of bread which they had +begged on the road, of some charitable soul. And they embraced each +other more ardently still, when they were obliged to stop for the night +in the open country, and shivered in the old, badly-closed vans, and had +to be very sparing with the wood, and could not illuminate the snow with +those large bivouac fires, whose smoke rises in such fantastic, spiral +curls, and whose flames look like a spot of blood, at a distance, seen +through the mist.</p> + +<p>"It was one of those Bohemian quasi-matrimonial arrangements, which are +often more enduring than ours, and in which a man and a woman do not +part for a mere caprice, a dream, or a piece of folly.</p> + +<p>"But by-and-bye she was no longer good for anything, and had to give up +appearing on the program, for she was in the family way. James Stirling +worked for both, and thought that he should die of grief when she was +brought to bed, and after three days of intense suffering, died with her +hand in his.</p> + +<p>"And now, all alone, crushed by grief, so ill that at times he thought +his heart had stopped, the circus rider lived for the child which the +dead woman had left him as a legacy. He bought a goat, so that it might +have pure milk, and brought it up with such infinite, deep, womanly +tenderness, that the child called him 'Mamma,' and in the circus they +nick-named him: <i>Mamma Stirling</i>.</p> + +<p>"The boy was like his mother, and one might have said that he had +brought James luck, for he had made his mark, was receiving a good +income, and appeared in every performance. Well-made and agile, and +profiting by the lessons which he received at the circus, little +Stirling was soon fit to appear on the posters, and the night when he +made his first appearance at Franconi's, old Tom Pears, the clown, who +understood such matters better than most, exclaimed: 'My boy, you will +make your way, if you don't break your neck first!' 'I will take care of +that, Monsieur Pears,' the lad replied, with a careless shrug of the +shoulder.</p> + +<p>"He was extremely daring, and when he threw himself from one trapeze to +the other, in a bold flight through the air, one might almost have +fancied in the silvery electric light, that he was some fabulous bird +with folded wings, and he executed all his feats with unequalled, +natural grace, without seeming to make an effort, but he unbraced his +limbs of steel, and condensed all his strength in one supreme, mad leap. +His chest, under its pearl-gray tights, hardly rose, and there was not a +drop of perspiration on his forehead, among the light curls which framed +it, like a golden halo.</p> + +<p>"He had an almost disdainful manner of smiling at the public, as if he +had been working like an artist, who loves his profession, and who is +amused at danger, rather than like an acrobat who is paid to amuse +people after dinner; and during his most difficult feats he often +uttered a shrill cry, like that of some wild beast which defies the +sportsman, as it falls on its prey. But that sportsman is always on the +alert, and he is the <i>Invisible</i>, which closes the brightest eyes, and +the most youthful lips for ever.</p> + +<p>"And in spite of oneself, one was excited by it, and could have wished, +from a superstitious instinct, that he would not continually have that +defiant cry, which seemed to give him pleasure, on his lips. James +Stirling watched over him like the mother of an actress does, who knows +that she is in some corner, and fears dangerous connections, in which +the strongest are entangled and ruined, and they lived together in a +boarding-house near the <i>Arc de Triumph</i>.</p> + +<p>"It was a very simple apartment, with immense posters of every color and +in every language pinned to the wall, on which the name of Stirling +appeared in large, striking letters; photographs with inscriptions, and +tinsel wreaths, though there were two of real laurel, that were covered +with dust, and were gradually falling to pieces.</p> + +<p>"One night, the young fellow for the first time did not come home, and +only returned in time for rehearsal, tired, with blue rims under his +eyes, his lips cracked with feverish heat, and with pale cheeks, but +with such a look of happiness, and such a peculiar light in his eyes, +that <i>Mamma Stirling</i> felt as if he had been stabbed, and had not the +strength to find fault with him; and emboldened, radiant, longing to +give vent to the mad joy which filled his whole being, to express his +sensations, and recount his happiness, like a lad talking to his elder +brother, he told James Stirling his love intrigue from beginning to end, +and how much in love he was with the light-haired girl who had clasped +him in her arms, and initiated him into the pleasures of the flesh.</p> + +<p>"It had been coming for some time, he said. She went to every +performance, and always occupied the same box. She used to send him +letters by the boxopener, letters which smelt like bunches of violets, +and always smiled at him when he came into the ring to bow to the +public, amidst the applause and recalls, and it was that smile, those +red, half-open lips, which seemed to promise so many caresses and +delicious words, that had attracted him like some strange, fragrant +fruit. Sometimes she came with gentlemen in evening dress, and with +gardenias in their button-holes, who seemed to bore her terribly, if not +to disgust her. And he was happy, although he had never yet spoken to +her, that she had not that smile for them which she had for him, and +that she appeared dull and sad, like somebody who is homesick, or who +has got a great longing for something.</p> + +<p>"On other evenings, she used to be quite alone, with black pearls in the +lobes of her small ears, that were like pink shells, and got up and left +her box as soon as he had finished his performance on the trapeze ... +while the evening before she carried him off almost forcibly in her +carriage, without even giving him time to get rid of his tights, and the +india-rubber armlets that he wore on his wrists. Oh! that return to the +cold, in the semi-obscurity, through which the trembling light of the +street lamps shone, that warm, exciting clasp of her arms round him, +which imprisoned him, and by degrees drew him close to that warm body, +whose slightest throb and shiver he felt, as if she had been clothed in +impalpable gauze, and whose odor mounted to his head like fumes of +whisky, an odor in which there was something of everything, of the +animal, of the woman, of spices, of flowers, and something that he did +not yet know.</p> + +<p>"And they were despotic, imperious, divine kisses, when she put her lips +to his and kept them there, as if to make him dream of an eternity of +bliss, sucking in his breath, hurting his lips, intoxicating, +overwhelming him with delight, exhausting him, while she held his head +in both her hands, as if in a vice. And the carriage rolled on at a +quick trot, through the silence of the snow, and they did not even hear +the noise of the wheels, which buried themselves in that white carpet, +as if it had been cotton-wool. Suddenly, however, tired and exhausted +she leant against him with closed eyes and moist lips, and then they +talked at random, like people who are not quite themselves, and who have +uncorked too many bottles of champagne on a benefit night.</p> + +<p>"She questioned him, and laughed at his theatrical slang, wrapped her +otter-skin rug round his legs, and murmured: 'Come close to me, darling; +at any rate, you are not cold, I hope?' When they reached her pretty +little house, with old tapestry and delicate colored plush hangings, +they found supper waiting for them, and she amused herself by attending +to him herself, with the manners of a saucy waitress... And then there +were kisses, constant, insatiable, maddening kisses, and the lad +exclaimed, with glistening eyes, at the thoughts of future meetings: 'If +you only knew how pretty she is! And then, it is nicer than anything +else in the world to obey her, to do whatever she wants, and to allow +oneself to be loved as she wishes!'</p> + +<p>"<i>Mamma Stirling</i> was very uneasy, but resigned himself to the +inevitable, and seeing how infatuated the boy was, he took care not to +be too sharp with him, or to keep too tight a hand upon the reins. The +woman who had debauched the lad was a fast woman, and nothing else, and +after all, the old stager preferred that to one of those excitable women +who are as dangerous for a man as the plague, whereas a girl of that +sort can be taken and left again, and one does not risk one's heart at +the same time as one does one's skin, for a man knows what they are +worth. He was mistaken, however. Nelly d'Argine, she is married to a +Yankee, now, and has gone to New York with him, was one of those vicious +women whom a man can only wish his worst enemy to have, and she had +merely taken a fancy to the young fellow because she was bored to +death, and because her senses were roused like the embers which break +out again, when a fire is nearly out.</p> + +<p>"Unfortunately, he had taken the matter seriously, and was very jealous, +and as suspicious as a deer, and had never imagined that this love +affair could come to an end, and proud, with his hot gipsy blood, he +wished to be the only lover, the only master who paid, and who could not +be shown the door, like a troublesome and importunate parasite.</p> + +<p>"Stirling had saved some money, by dint of a hard struggle, and had +invested it in the Funds against a rainy day, when he should be too old +to work, and to gain a livelihood, and when he saw how madly in love his +son was, and how obstinate in his lamentable folly, he gave him all his +savings and deprived himself of his stout and gin, so that the boy might +have money to give to his mistress, and might continue to be happy, and +not have any cares, and so between them, they kept Nelly.</p> + +<p>"Stirling's debts accumulated, and he mortgaged his salary for years in +advance to the usurers who haunt circuses as if they were gambling +hells, who are on the watch for passions, poverty and disappointments, +who keep plenty of ready stamped bill paper in their pockets, as well as +money, which they haggle over, coin by coin. But in spite of all this, +the lad sang, made a show, and amused himself, and used to say to him, +as he kissed him on both cheeks: 'How kind you are, in spite of +everything!'</p> + +<p>"In a month's time, as he was becoming too exacting, he followed her, +questioned her and worried her with perpetual scenes, Nelly found that +she had had enough of her gymnast; he was a toy which she had done with +and worn out, and which was now only in her way, and only worth throwing +into the gutter. She was satiated with him, and became once more the +tranquil woman whom nothing can move, and who baits her ground quite +calmly, in order to find a husband and to make a fresh start. And so she +turned the young fellow out of doors, as if he had been some beggar +soliciting alms. He did not complain, however, and did not say anything +to <i>Mamma Stirling</i>, but worked as he had done in the past, and mastered +himself with superhuman energy, so as to hide the grief that was gnawing +at his heart and killing him, and the disenchantment with everything +that was making him sick of life.</p> + +<p>"Some time afterwards, when there was to be a special display for the +officers, seeing Nelly d'Argine there in a box surrounded by her usual +admirers, appearing indifferent to everything that was going on, and not +even apparently noticing that he was performing, and was being heartily +applauded, he threw his trapeze forward as far as he could, at the end +of his performance, and exerting all his strength, and certain that he +should fall beyond the protecting net, he flung himself furiously into +space.</p> + +<p>"A cry of horror resounded from one end of the house to the other, when +he was picked up disfigured, and with nearly every bone in his body +broken. The unfortunate young fellow was no longer breathing, his chest +was crushed in, and blood-stained froth was issuing from his lips, and +Nelly d'Argine made haste to leave the house with her friends, saying in +a very vexed voice:</p> + +<p>"'It is very disgusting to come in the hopes of being amused, and to +witness an accident!'</p> + +<p>"And <i>Mamma Stirling</i>, who was ruined and in utter despair, and who +cared for nothing more in this world, after that took to drinking, used +to get constantly drunk, and rolled from public-house to public-house, +and bar to bar, and as the worst glass of vitrol still cost a penny, he +became reduced to undertaking the part which you have seen, to dabble in +the water, to blacken himself, and to allow himself to be bitten.</p> + +<p>"Ah! What a wretched thing life is for those who are kind, and who have +too much heart!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LILIE_LALA" id="LILIE_LALA"></a>LILIE LALA</h2> + + +<p>"When I saw her for the first time," Louis d'Arandel said, with the look +of a man who was dreaming and trying to recollect something, "I thought +of some slow and yet passionate music that I once heard, though I do not +remember who was the composer, where there was a fair-haired woman, +whose hair was so silky, so golden, and so vibrating, that her lover had +it cut off after her death, and had the strings of the magic bow of a +violin made out of it, which afterwards emitted such superhuman +complaints and love melodies that they made its hearers love until +death.</p> + +<p>"In her eyes there lay the mystery of deep waters, and one was lost in +them, drowned in them like in fathomless depths, and at the corners of +her mouth there lurked that despotic and merciless smile of those women +who do not fear that they may be conquered, who rule over men like cruel +queens, whose hearts remain as virgin as those of the strictest +Carmelite nuns, amidst a flood of lewdness.</p> + +<p>"I have seen her angelic head, the bands of her hair, that looked like +plates of gold, her tall, graceful figure, her white, slender, childish +hands, in stained glass windows in churches. She suggested pictures of +the Annunciation, where the Archangel Gabriel descends with ultra-marine +colored wings, and Mary is sitting at her spinning-wheel and spinning, +while uttering pious prayers, and looks like the tall sister of the +white lilies that are growing beside her and the roses.</p> + +<p>"When she went through the acacia alley, she appeared on some First +Night in the stage box at one of the theaters, nearly always alone, and +apparently feeling life a great burden, and angry because she could not +change the eternal, dull round of human enjoyment, nobody would have +believed that she went in for a fast life, and that in the annals of +gallantry she was catalogued under the strange name of <i>Lilie Lala</i>, and +that no man could rub against her without being irretrievably caught, +and spending his last half-penny on her.</p> + +<p>"But with all that, Lilie had the voice of a schoolgirl, of some little +innocent creature who still uses a skipping-rope and wears short +dresses, and had that clear, innocent laugh which reminds people of +wedding bells. Sometimes, for fun, I would kneel down before her, like +before the statue of a saint, and clasping my hands as if in prayer, I +used to say: '<i>Sancta Lilie, ora pro nobis!</i>'</p> + +<p>"One evening, at Biarritz, when the sky had the dull glare of intense +heat and the sea was of a sinister, inky black, and was swelling and +rolling enormous phosphorescent waves onto the beach at <i>Port-Vieux</i>, +Lilie, who was listless and strange, and was making holes in the sand +with the heels of her boots, suddenly exclaimed in one of those longings +for confidence which women sometimes feel, and for which they are sorry +as soon as their story is done:</p> + +<p>"'Ah! My dear fellow, I do not deserve to be canonized, and my life is +rather a subject for a drama than a chapter from the Gospels or the +Golden Legend. As long as I can remember anything, I can remember +seeing myself wrapped in lace, being carried by a woman, and +continually being made a fuss with, like children are who have been +waited for for a long time, and who are spoiled more than others.</p> + +<p>"'Those kisses were so nice, that I still seem to feel their sweetness, +and I preserve the remembrance of them in a little place in my heart, +like one preserves some lucky talisman in a reliquary. I still seem to +remember an indistinct landscape lost in the mist, outlines of trees +which frightened me as they creaked and groaned in the wind, and ponds +on which swans were sailing. And when I look in the glass for a long +time, merely for the sake of seeing myself, it seems to me as if I +recognized the woman who formerly used to kiss me most frequently, and +speak to me in a more loving voice than anyone else did. But what +happened afterwards?</p> + +<p>"'Was I carried off, or sold to some strolling circus owner by a +dishonest servant? I do not know; I have never been able to find out; +but I remember that my whole childhood was spent in a circus which +traveled from fair to fair, and from place to place, with files of vans, +processions of animals, and noisy music.</p> + +<p>"'I was as tiny as an insect, and they taught me difficult tricks, to +dance on the tight-rope and to perform on the slack-rope.... I was +beaten as if I had been a bit of plaster, and I more frequently had a +piece of dry bread to gnaw, than a slice of meat. But I remember that +one day I slipped under one of the vans, and stole a basin of soup as my +share, which one of the clowns was carefully making for his three +learned dogs.</p> + +<p>"'I had neither friends nor relations; I was employed on the dirtiest +jobs, like the lowest stable-help, and I was tattooed with bruises and +scars. Of the whole company, however, the one who beat me the most, who +was the least sparing of his thumps, and who continually made me suffer, +as if it gave him pleasure, was the manager and proprietor, a kind of +old, vicious brute, whom everybody feared like the plague, a miser who +was continually complaining of the receipts, who hid away the crown +pieces in his mattress, invested his money in the funds, and cut down +the salary of everybody, as far as he could.</p> + +<p>"'His name was Rapha Ginestous. Any other child, but myself, would have +succumbed to such constant martyrdom, but I grew up, and the more I +grew, the prettier and more desirable I became, so that when I was +fifteen, men were already beginning to write love letters to me, and to +throw bouquets to me in the arena. I felt also that all the men in the +company were watching me, and were coveting me as their prey; that their +lustful looks rested on my pink tights, and followed the graceful +outlines of my body when I was posing on the rope that stretched from +one end of the circus to the other, or jumped through the paper hoops at +full gallop.</p> + +<p>"'They were no longer the same, and spoke to me in a totally different +tone of voice.... They tried to come into my dressing-room when I was +changing my dress, and Rapha Ginestous seemed to have lost his head, and +his heart throbbed audibly when he came near me. Yes, he had the +audacity to propose bargains to me which covered my cheeks and forehead +with blushes, and which filled me with disgust, and as I felt a fierce +hatred for him, and detested him with all my soul and all my strength, +as I wished to make him suffer the tortures which he had inflicted upon +me, a hundred fold, I used him as the target at which I was constantly +aiming.</p> + +<p>"'Instinctively, I employed every cunning perfidy, every artful +coquetry, every lie, every artifice which upsets the strongest and most +skeptical, and places them at our mercy, like submissive animals. He +loved me, he really loved me, that lascivious goat, who had never seen +anything in a woman except a soft palliasse, and an instrument of +convenience and of forgetfulness. He loved me like old men do love, with +frenzy, with degrading transports, and with the prostration of his will +and of his strength.... I held him like in a leash, and did whatever I +liked with him.</p> + +<p>"'I was much more manageress than he was manager, and the poor wretch +wasted away in vain hopes and in useless transports; he had not even +touched the tips of my fingers, and was reduced to bestowing his +caresses on my columbine shoes, my tights, and my wigs. And I care not +<i>that</i> for it, you understand! Not the slightest familiarity, and he +began to grow thin over it, fell ill, and almost became idiotic. And +while he implored me, and promised to marry me, with his eyes full of +tears, I shouted with laughter; I reminded him of how he had beaten, +abused, and humiliated me, and had often made me wish for death. And as +soon as he left me, he emptied bottles of gin and whisky, and got so +abominably drunk that he rolled under the table, in order to drown his +sorrow and forget his desire.</p> + +<p>"'He covered me with jewels, and tried everything he could to tempt me +to become his wife, and in spite of my inexperience in life, he +consulted me with regard to everything he undertook, and one evening, +after I had stroked his face with my hand, I persuaded him without any +difficulty, to make his will, by which he left me all his savings, and +the circus and everything belonging to it.</p> + +<p>"'It was in the middle of winter, near Moscow; it snowed continually, +and one almost burned oneself at the stoves in trying to keep warm. +Rapha Ginestous had had supper brought into the largest van, which was +his, after the performance, and for hours we ate and drank. I was very +nice towards him, and filled his glass every moment; I even sat on his +knee and kissed him. And all his love, and the fumes of the alcohol of +the wine mounted to his head, and gradually made him so helplessly +intoxicated, that he fell from his chair inert, and as if he had been +struck by lightning, without opening his eyes or saying a word.</p> + +<p>"'The rest of the troupe were asleep, and the lights were out in all the +little windows, and not a sound was to be heard, while the snow +continued to fall in large flakes. So having put out the petroleum lamp, +I opened the door, and taking the drunkard by the feet, as if he had +been a bale of goods, I threw him out into that white shroud.</p> + +<p>"'The next morning the stiff and convulsed body of Rapha Ginestous was +picked up, and as everybody knew his inveterate drinking habits, no one +thought of instituting an inquiry, or of accusing me of a crime, and +thus I was avenged, and had a yearly income of nearly fifteen thousand +francs. What, after all, is the good of being honest, and of pardoning +our enemies, as the Gospel bids us?'</p> + +<p>"And now," Louis d'Arandal said in conclusion, "suppose we go and have a +cocktail or two at the Casino, for I do not think that I have ever +talked so much in my life before."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MADAME_TELLIERS_ESTABLISHMENT" id="MADAME_TELLIERS_ESTABLISHMENT"></a>MADAME TELLIER'S ESTABLISHMENT</h2> + + +<h3>PART I</h3> + +<p>They used to go there every evening at about eleven o'clock, just like +they went to the <i>café</i>. Six or eight of them used to meet there; they +were always the same set, not fast men, but respectable tradesmen, and +young men, in government or some other employ, and they used to drink +their Chartreuse, and tease the girls, or else they would talk seriously +with <i>Madame</i>, whom everybody respected, and then they used to go home +at twelve o'clock. The younger men would sometimes stay the night.</p> + +<p>It was a small, comfortable house, at the corner of a street behind +Saint Etienne's church, and from the windows one could see the docks, +full of ships which were being unloaded, and the old, gray chapel, +dedicated to the Virgin, on the hill.</p> + +<p><i>Madame</i>, who came of a respectable family of peasant proprietors in the +department of the Eure, had taken up that profession, just as she would +have become a milliner or dressmaker. The prejudice against +prostitution, which is so violent and deeply rooted in large towns, does +not exist in the country places in Normandy. The peasant says:</p> + +<p>"It is a paying business," and he sends his daughter to keep a harem of +fast girls, just as he would send her to keep a girls' school.</p> + +<p>She had inherited the house from an old uncle, to whom it had belonged. +<i>Monsieur</i> and <i>Madame</i>, who had formerly been inn-keepers near Yvetot, +had immediately sold their house, as they thought that the business at +Fécamp was more profitable, and they arrived one fine morning to assume +the direction of the enterprise, which was declining on account of the +absence of the proprietors, who were good people enough in their way, +and who soon made themselves liked by their staff and their neighbors.</p> + +<p><i>Monsieur</i> died of apoplexy two years later, for as his new profession +kept him in idleness and without any exercise, he had grown excessively +stout, and his health had suffered. Since she had been a widow, all the +frequenters of the establishment had wanted her; but people said that +personally she was quite virtuous, and even the girls in the house could +not discover anything against her. She was tall, stout and affable, and +her complexion, which had become pale in the dimness of her house, the +shutters of which were scarcely ever opened, shone as if it had been +varnished. She had a fringe of curly, false hair, which gave her a +juvenile look, that contrasted strongly with the ripeness of her figure. +She was always smiling and cheerful, and was fond of a joke, but there +was a shade of reserve about her, which her new occupation had not quite +made her lose. Coarse words always shocked her, and when any young +fellow who had been badly brought up, called her establishment by its +right name, she was angry and disgusted.</p> + +<p>In a word, she had a refined mind, and although she treated her women as +friends, yet she very frequently used to say that "she and they were not +made of the same stuff."</p> + +<p>Sometimes during the week, she would hire a carriage and take some of +her girls into the country, where they used to enjoy themselves on the +grass by the side of the little river. They were like a lot of girls let +out from a school, and used to run races, and play childish games. They +had a cold dinner on the grass, and drank cider, and went home at night +with a delicious feeling of fatigue, and in the carriage they kissed +<i>Madame</i> as their kind mother, who was full of goodness and +complaisance.</p> + +<p>The house had two entrances. At the corner there was a sort of low +<i>café</i>, which sailors and the lower orders frequented at night, and she +had two girls whose special duty it was to attend to that part of the +business. With the assistance of the waiter, whose name was Frederic, +and who was a short, light-haired, beardless fellow, as strong as a +horse, they set the half bottles of wine and the jugs of beer on the +shaky marble tables, and then, sitting astride on the customer's knees, +they urged them to drink.</p> + +<p>The three other girls (there were only five of them), formed a kind of +aristocracy, and were reserved for the company on the first floor, +unless they were wanted downstairs, and there was nobody on the first +floor. The saloon of Jupiter, where the tradesmen used to meet, was +papered in blue, and embellished with a large drawing representing Leda +stretched out under the swan. That room was reached by a winding +staircase, which ended at a narrow door opening onto the street, and +above it, all night long a little lamp burned, behind wire bars, such as +one still sees in some towns, at the foot of some shrine of a saint.</p> + +<p>The house, which was old and damp, rather smelled of mildew. At times +there was an odor of Eau de Cologne in the passages, or a half open door +downstairs admitted the noise of the common men sitting and drinking +downstairs, to the first floor, much to the disgust of the gentlemen who +were there. <i>Madame</i>, who was familiar with those of her customers with +whom she was on friendly terms, did not leave the saloon, and took much +interest in what was going on in the town, and they regularly told her +all the news. Her serious conversation was a change from the ceaseless +chatter of the three women; it was a rest from the obscene jokes of +those stout individuals who every evening indulged in the common-place +debauchery of drinking a glass of liquor in company with prostitutes.</p> + +<p>The names of the girls on the first floor were Fernande, Raphaele, and +Rosa, the <i>Jade</i>. As the staff was limited, <i>Madame</i> had endeavored that +each member of it should be a pattern, an epitome of the feminine type, +so that every customer might find as nearly as possible, the realization +of his ideal. Fernande represented the handsome blonde; she was very +tall, rather fat, and lazy; a country girl, who could not get rid of her +freckles, and whose short, light, almost colorless, tow-like hair, which +was like combed-out flax, barely covered her head.</p> + +<p>Raphaele, who came from Marseilles, played the indispensable part of the +handsome Jewess, and was thin, with high cheek bones, which were covered +with rouge, and her black hair, which was always covered with pomatum, +curled onto her forehead. Her eyes would have been handsome, if the +right one had not had a speck in it. Her Roman nose came down over a +square jaw, where two false upper teeth contrasted strangely with the +bad color of the rest.</p> + +<p>Rosa, <i>the Jade</i>, was a little roll of fat, nearly all stomach, with +very short legs, and from morning till night she sang songs, which were +alternately indecent or sentimental, in a harsh voice, told silly, +interminable tales, and only stopped talking in order to eat, and left +off eating in order to talk; she was never still, and was active as a +squirrel, in spite of her fat, and of her short legs; and her laugh, +which was a torrent of shrill cries, resounded here and there, +ceaselessly, in a bedroom, in the loft, in the <i>café</i>, everywhere, and +about nothing.</p> + +<p>The two women on the ground floor, Louise, who was nick-named <i>la +Cocotte</i>, and Flora, whom they called <i>Balançiore</i>, because she limped a +little, the former always dressed as Liberty, with a tri-colored sash, +and the other as a Spanish woman, with a string of copper coins which +jingled at every step she took, in her carrotty hair, looked like cooks +dressed up for the carnival. They were like all other women of the lower +orders, neither uglier nor better looking than they usually are.</p> + +<p>They looked just like servants at an inn, and they were generally called +the two pumps.</p> + +<p>A jealous peace, which was, however, very rarely disturbed, reigned +among these five women, thanks to <i>Madame's</i> conciliatory wisdom, and to +her constant good humor, and the establishment, which was the only one +of the kind in the little town, was very much frequented. <i>Madame</i> had +succeeded in giving it such a respectable appearance, she was so amiable +and obliging to everybody, her good heart was so well-known, that she +was treated with a certain amount of consideration. The regular +customers spent money on her, and were delighted when she was especially +friendly towards them, and when they met during the day, they would say: +"Until this evening, you know where," just like men say: "At the +<i>café</i>, after dinner." In a word, Madame Tellier's house was somewhere +to go to, and they very rarely missed their daily meetings there.</p> + +<p>One evening, towards the end of May, the first arrival, Monsieur Poulin, +who was a timber merchant, and had been mayor, found the door shut. The +little lantern behind the grating was not alight; there was not a sound +in the house; everything seemed dead. He knocked, gently at first, but +then more loudly, but nobody answered the door. Then he went slowly up +the street, and when he got to the market place, he met Monsieur Duvert, +the gun maker, who was going to the same place, so they went back +together, but did not meet with any better success. But suddenly they +heard a loud noise close to them, and on going round the house, they saw +a number of English and French sailors, who were hammering at the closed +shutters of the <i>café</i> with their fists.</p> + +<p>The two tradesmen immediately made their escape, for fear of being +compromised, but a low <i>pst</i> stopped them; it was Monsieur Tournevau, +the fish curer, who had recognized them, and was trying to attract their +attention. They told him what had happened, and he was all the more +vexed at it, as he, a married man, and father of a family, only went +there on Saturdays, <i>securítatis causa</i>, as he said, alluding to a +measure of sanitary policy, which his friend Doctor Borde had advised +him to observe. That was his regular evening, and now he should be +deprived of it for the whole week.</p> + +<p>The three men went as far as the quay together, and on the way they met +young Monsieur Philippe, the banker's son, who frequented the place +regularly, and Monsieur Pinipesse, the collector, and they all returned +to the <i>Rue aux Juifs</i> together, to make a last attempt. But the +exasperated sailors were besieging the house, throwing stones at the +shutters, and shouting, and the five first floor customers went away as +quickly as possible, and walked aimlessly about the streets.</p> + +<p>Presently they met Monsieur Dupuis, the insurance agent, and then +Monsieur Vasse, the Judge of the Tribunal of Commerce, and they took a +long walk, going to the pier first of all, where they sat down in a row +on the granite parapet, and watched the rising tide, and when the +promenaders had sat there for some time, Monsieur Tournevau said:</p> + +<p>"This is not very amusing!"</p> + +<p>"Decidedly not," Monsieur Pinipesse replied, and they started off to +walk again.</p> + +<p>After going through the street on the top of the hill, they returned +over the wooden bridge which crosses the Retenue, passed close to the +railway, and came out again onto the market place, when suddenly a +quarrel arose between Monsieur Pinipesse, the collector, and Monsieur +Tournevau, about an edible fungus which one of them declared he had +found in the neighborhood.</p> + +<p>As they were out of temper already from annoyance, they would very +probably have come to blows, if the others had not interfered. Monsieur +Pinipesse went off furious, and soon another altercation arose between +the ex-major, Monsieur Poulin, and Monsieur Dupuis, the insurance agent, +on the subject of the tax collector's salary, and the profits which he +might make. Insulting remarks were freely passing between them, when a +torrent of formidable cries were heard, and the body of sailors, who +were tired of waiting so long outside a closed house, came into the +square. They were walking arm-in-arm, two and two, and formed a long +procession, and were shouting furiously. The landsmen went and hid +themselves under a gateway, and the yelling crew disappeared in the +direction of the abbey. For a long time they still heard the noise, +which diminished like a storm in the distance, and then silence was +restored, and Monsieur Poulin and Monsieur Dupuis, who were enraged with +each other, went in different directions, without wishing each other +good-bye.</p> + +<p>The other four set off again, and instinctively went in the direction of +Madame Tellier's establishment, which was still closed, silent, +impenetrable. A quiet, but obstinate, drunken man was knocking at the +door of the café, and then stopped and called Frederic, the waiter, in a +low voice, but finding that he got no answer, he sat down on the +doorstep, and waited the course of events.</p> + +<p>The others were just going to retire, when the noisy band of sailors +reappeared at the end of the street. The French sailors were shouting +the <i>Marseillaise</i>, and the Englishmen, <i>Rule Britannia</i>. There was a +general lurching against the wall, and then the drunken brutes went on +their way towards the quay, where a fight broke out between the two +nations, in the course of which an Englishman had his arm broken, and a +Frenchman his nose split.</p> + +<p>The drunken man, who had stopped outside the door, was crying by that +time, like drunken men and children cry, when they are vexed, and the +others went away. By degrees, calm was restored in the noisy town; here +and there, at moments, the distant sound of voices could be heard, and +then died away in the distance.</p> + +<p>One man, only, was still wandering about, Monsieur Tournevau, the fish +curer, who was vexed at having to wait until the next Saturday, and he +hoped for something to turn up, he did not know what; but he was +exasperated at the police for thus allowing an establishment of such +public utility, which they had under their control, to be thus closed.</p> + +<p>He went back to it, and examined the walls, and trying to find out the +reason, and on the shutter he saw a notice stuck up, so he struck a wax +vesta, and read the following in a large, uneven hand; "Closed on +account of the Confirmation."</p> + +<p>Then he went away, as he saw it was useless to remain, and left the +drunken man lying on the pavement fast asleep, outside that inhospitable +door.</p> + +<p>The next day, all the regular customers, one after the other, found some +reason for going through the street with a bundle of papers under their +arm, to keep them in countenance, and with a furtive glance they all +read that mysterious notice:</p> + +<p><i>Closed on account of the Confirmation.</i></p> + + +<h3>PART II</h3> + +<p>Madame had a brother, who was a carpenter in their native place, +Virville, in the department of Eure. When <i>Madame</i> had still kept the +inn at Yvetot, she had stood god-mother to that brother's daughter, who +had received the name of Constance, Constance Rivet; she herself being a +Rivet on her father's side. The carpenter, who knew that his sister was +in a good position, did not lose sight of her, although they did not +meet often, for they were both kept at home by their occupations, and +lived a long way from each other. But as the girl was twelve years old, +and going to be confirmed, he seized that opportunity for writing to +his sister, and asking her to come and be present at the ceremony. Their +old parents were dead, and as she could not well refuse, she accepted +the invitation. Her brother, whose name was Joseph, hoped that by dint +of showing his sister attentions, she might be induced to make her will +in the girl's favor, as she had no children of her own.</p> + +<p>His sister's occupation did not trouble his scruples in the least, and, +besides, nobody knew anything about it at Virville. When they spoke of +her, they only said: "Madame Tellier is living at Fécamp," which might +mean that she was living on her own private income. It was quite twenty +leagues from Fécamp to Virville, and for a peasant, twenty leagues on +land are more than is crossing the ocean to an educated person. The +people at Virville had never been further than Rouen, and nothing +attracted the people from Fécamp to a village of five hundred houses, in +the middle of a plain, and situated in another department, and, at any +rate, nothing was known about her business.</p> + +<p>But the Confirmation was coming on, and <i>Madame</i> was in great +embarrassment. She had no under mistress, and did not at all care to +leave her house, even for a day, for all the rivalries between the girls +upstairs and those downstairs, would infallibly break out; no doubt +Frederic would get drunk, and when he was in that state he would knock +anybody down for a mere word. At last, however, she made up her mind to +take them all with her, with the exception of the man, to whom she gave +a holiday, until the next day but one.</p> + +<p>When she asked her brother, he made no objection, but undertook to put +them all up for a night, and so on Saturday morning, the eight o'clock +express carried off <i>Madame</i> and her companions in a second-class +carriage. As far as Beuzeille, they were alone, and chattered like +magpies, but at that station a couple got in. The man, an old peasant, +dressed in a blue blouse with a folding collar, wide sleeves, tight at +the wrist, and ornamented with white embroidery, wore an old high hat +with long nap, held an enormous green umbrella in one hand, and a large +basket in the other, from which the heads of three frightened ducks +protruded. The woman, who sat stiffly in her rustic finery, had a face +like a fowl, and with a nose that was as pointed as a bill. She sat down +opposite her husband and did not stir, as she was startled at finding +herself in such smart company.</p> + +<p>There was certainly an array of striking colors in the carriage. +<i>Madame</i> was dressed in blue silk from head to foot, and had on over her +dress a dazzling red shawl of imitation French cashmere. Fernande was +panting in a Scottish plaid dress, whose bodice, which her companions +had laced as tight as they could, had forced up her falling bosom into a +double dome, that was continually heaving up and down, and which seemed +liquid beneath the material. Raphaele, with a bonnet covered with +feathers, so that it looked like a nest full of birds, had on a lilac +dress with gold spots on it, and there was something Oriental about it +that suited her Jewish face. Rosa, <i>the Jade</i>, had on a pink petticoat +with large flounces, and looked like a very fat child, an obese dwarf; +while the two pumps looked as if they had cut their dresses out of old, +flowered curtains, dating from the Restoration.</p> + +<p>As soon as they were no longer alone in the compartment, the ladies put +on staid looks, and began to talk of subjects which might give the +others a high opinion of them. But at Bolbec a gentleman with light +whiskers, with a gold chain, and wearing two or three rings, got in, and +put several parcels wrapped in oil cloth into the net over his head. He +looked inclined for a joke, and a good-natured fellow.</p> + +<p>"Are you ladies changing your quarters?" he said, and that question +embarrassed them all considerably. <i>Madame</i>, however, quickly recovered +her composure, and said sharply, to avenge the honor of her corps:</p> + +<p>"I think you might try and be polite!"</p> + +<p>He excused himself, and said: "I beg your pardon, I ought to have said +your nunnery."</p> + +<p>As <i>Madame</i> could not think of a retort, or perhaps as she thought +herself justified sufficiently, she gave him a dignified bow, and +pinched in her lips.</p> + +<p>Then the gentleman, who was sitting between Rose <i>the Jade</i> and the old +peasant, began to wink knowingly at the ducks, whose heads were sticking +out of the basket, and when he felt that he had fixed the attention of +his public, he began to tickle them under their bills, and spoke funnily +to them, to make the company smile.</p> + +<p>"We have left our little pond, quack! quack! to make the acquaintance of +the little spit, qu-ack! qu-ack!"</p> + +<p>The unfortunate creatures turned their necks away, to avoid his +caresses, and made desperate efforts to get out of their wicker prison, +and then, suddenly, all at once, uttered the most lamentable quacks of +distress. The women exploded with laughter. They leaned forward and +pushed each other, so as to see better; they were very much interested +in the ducks, and the gentleman redoubled his airs, his wits, and his +teasing.</p> + +<p>Rosa joined in, and leaning over her neighbor's legs, she kissed the +three animals on the head, and immediately all the girls wanted to kiss +them in turn, and the gentleman took them onto his knees, made them jump +up and down and pinched them. The two peasants, who were even in greater +consternation than their poultry, rolled their eyes as if they were +possessed, without venturing to move, and their old wrinkled faces had +not a smile nor a movement.</p> + +<p>Then the gentleman, who was a commercial traveler, offered the ladies +braces by way of a joke, and taking up one of his packages, he opened +it. It was a trick, for the parcel contained garters. There were blue +silk, pink silk, red silk, violet silk, mauve silk garters, and the +buckles were made of two gilt metal Cupids, embracing each other. The +girls uttered exclamations of delight and looked at them with that +gravity which is natural to a woman when she is hankering after a +bargain. They consulted one another by their looks or in a whisper, and +replied in the same manner, and <i>Madame</i> was longingly handling a pair +of orange garters that were broader and more imposing looking than the +rest; really fit for the mistress of such an establishment.</p> + +<p>The gentleman waited, for he was nourishing an idea.</p> + +<p>"Come, my kittens," he said, "you must try them on."</p> + +<p>There was a torrent of exclamations, and they squeezed their petticoats +between their legs, as if they thought he was going to ravish them, but +he quietly waited his time, and said: "Well, if you will not, I shall +pack them up again."</p> + +<p>And he added cunningly: "I offer any pair they like, to those who will +try them on."</p> + +<p>But they would not, and sat up very straight, and looked dignified.</p> + +<p>But the two pumps looked so distressed that he renewed the offer to +them, and Flora especially visibly hesitated, and he possessed her: +"Come, my dear, a little courage! Just look at that lilac pair; it will +suit your dress admirably ..."</p> + +<p>That decided her, and pulling up her dress she showed a thick leg fit +for a milk-maid, in a badly-fitting, coarse stocking. The commercial +traveler stooped down and fastened the garter below the knee first of +all and then above it; and he tickled the girl gently, which made her +scream and jump. When he had done, he gave her the lilac pair, and +asked: "Who next?"</p> + +<p>"I! I!" they all shouted at once, and he began on Rosa <i>the Jade</i>, who +uncovered a shapeless, round thing without any ankle, a regular "sausage +of a leg," as Raphaele used to say.</p> + +<p>The commercial traveler complimented Fernande, and grew quite +enthusiastic over her powerful columns.</p> + +<p>The thin tibias of the handsome Jewess met less success, and Louise +Cocote, by way of a joke, put her petticoats over his head, so that +<i>Madame</i> was obliged to interfere to check such unseemly behavior.</p> + +<p>Lastly, <i>Madame</i> herself put out her leg, a handsome, muscular, Norman +leg, and in his surprise and pleasure, the commercial traveler gallantly +took off his hat to salute that master calf, like a true French +cavalier.</p> + +<p>The two peasants, who were speechless from surprise, looked aside, out +of the corners of their eyes, and they looked so exactly like fowls that +the man with the light whiskers, when he sat up, said <i>co—co—ri—co</i>, +under their very noses, and that gave rise to another storm of +amusement.</p> + +<p>The old people got out at Motteville, with their basket, their ducks, +and their umbrella, and they heard the woman say to her husband, as they +went away:</p> + +<p>"They are bad women, who are off to that cursed place Paris."</p> + +<p>The funny commercial traveler himself got out at Rouen, after behaving +so coarsely, that <i>Madame</i> was obliged sharply to put him into his +right place, and she added, as a moral: "This will teach us not to talk +to the first comer."</p> + +<p>At Oissel they changed trains, and at a little station further on, +Monsieur Joseph Rivet was waiting for them with a large cart and a +number of chairs in it, which was drawn by a white horse.</p> + +<p>The carpenter politely kissed all the ladies, and then helped them into +his conveyance.</p> + +<p>Three of them sat on three chairs at the back, Raphaele, <i>Madame</i> and +her brother on the three chairs in front, and Rosa, who had no seat, +settled herself as comfortably as she could on tall Fernande's knees, +and then they set off.</p> + +<p>But the horse's jerky trot shook the cart so terribly that the chairs +began to dance, and threw the travelers into the air, to the right and +to the left, as if they had been dancing puppets, which made them make +horrible grimaces and screams, which, however, were cut short by another +jolt of the cart.</p> + +<p>They clung onto the sides of the vehicle, their bonnets fell onto their +backs, their noses on their shoulders, and the white horse went on +stretching out his head, and holding out his tail quite straight, a +little, hairless rat's tail, with which he whisked his buttocks from +time to time.</p> + +<p>Joseph Rivet, with one leg on the shafts and the other bent under him, +held out the reins with his elbows very high, and he kept uttering a +kind of chuckling sound, which made the horse prick up its ears and go +faster.</p> + +<p>The green country extended on either side of the road, and here and +there the colza in flower presented a waving expanse of yellow, from +which there arose a strong, wholesome, sweet and penetrating smell, +which the wind carried to some distance.</p> + +<p>The cornflowers showed their little blue heads among the rye, and the +women wanted to pick them, but Monsieur Rivet refused to stop.</p> + +<p>Then sometimes a whole field appeared to be covered with blood, so +thickly were the poppies growing, and the cart, which looked as if it +were filled with flowers of more brilliant hue, drove on through the +fields colored with wild flowers, and disappeared behind the trees of a +farm, only to reappear and to go on again through the yellow or green +standing crops, which were studded with red or blue.</p> + +<p>One o'clock struck as they drove up to the carpenter's door. They were +tired out, and pale with hunger, as they had eaten nothing since they +left home, and Madame Rivet ran out, and made them alight, one after +another, and kissed them as soon as they were on the ground, and she +seemed as if she would never tire of kissing her sister-in-law, whom she +apparently wanted to monopolize. They had lunch in the workshop, which +had been cleared out for the next day's dinner.</p> + +<p>A capital omelette, followed by boiled chitterlings, and washed down by +good, sharp cider, made them all feel comfortable.</p> + +<p>Rivet had taken a glass so that he might hob-nob with them, and his wife +cooked, waited on them, brought in the dishes, took them out, and asked +all of them in a whisper whether they had everything they wanted. A +number of boards standing against the walls, and heaps of shavings that +had been swept into the corners, gave out a smell of planed wood, or +carpentering, that resinous odor which penetrates the lungs.</p> + +<p>They wanted to see the little girl, but she had gone to church, and +would not be back until evening, so they all went out for a stroll in +the country.</p> + +<p>It was a small village, through which the high road passed. Ten or a +dozen houses on either side of the single street, were inhabited by the +butcher, the grocer, the carpenter, the inn-keeper, the shoemaker and +the baker.</p> + +<p>The church was at the end of the street, and was surrounded by a small +churchyard, and four enormous lime-trees, which stood just outside the +porch, shaded it completely. It was built of flint, in no particular +style, and had a slated steeple. When you got past it, you were in the +open country again, which was broken here and there by clumps of trees +which hid the homestead.</p> + +<p>Rivet had given his arm to his sister, out of politeness, although he +was in his working clothes, and was walking with her majestically. His +wife, who was overwhelmed by Raphaele's gold-striped dress, was walking +between her and Fernande, and round-about Rosa was trotting behind with +Louise Cocote and Flora, the see-saw, who was limping along, quite +tired out.</p> + +<p>The inhabitants came to their doors, the children left off playing, and +a window curtain would be raised, so as to show a muslin cap, while an +old woman with a crutch, and who was almost blind, crossed herself as if +it were a religious procession, and they all looked for a long time +after those handsome ladies from the town, who had come so far to be +present at the confirmation of Joseph Rivet's little girl, and the +carpenter rose very much in the public estimation.</p> + +<p>As they passed the church, they heard some children singing; little +shrill voices were singing a hymn, but <i>Madame</i> would not let them go +in, for fear of disturbing the little cherubs.</p> + +<p>After a walk, during which Joseph Rivet enumerated the principal landed +proprietors, spoke about the yield of the land, and productiveness of +the cows and sheep, he took his herd of women home and installed them in +his house, and as it was very small, they had put them into the rooms, +two and two.</p> + +<p>Just for once, Rivet would sleep in the workshop on the shavings; his +wife was going to share her bed with her sister-in-law, and Fernande and +Raphaele were to sleep together in the next room. Louise and Flora were +put into the kitchen, where they had a mattress on the floor, and Rosa +had a little dark cupboard at the top of the stairs to herself, close to +the loft, where the candidate for confirmation was to sleep.</p> + +<p>When the girl came in, she was overwhelmed with kisses; all the women +wished to caress her, with that need of tender expansion, that habit of +professional wheedling, which had made them kiss the ducks in the +railway carriage.</p> + +<p>They all of them took her onto their laps, stroked her soft, light +hair, and pressed her in their arms with vehement and spontaneous +outbursts of affection, and the child, who was very good and religious, +bore it all patiently.</p> + +<p>As the day had been a fatiguing one for every body, they all went to bed +soon after dinner. The whole village was wrapped in that perfect +stillness of the country, which is almost like a religious silence, and +the girls, who were accustomed to the noisy evenings of their +establishment, felt rather impressed by the perfect repose of the +sleeping village, and they shivered, not with cold, but with those +little shivers of solitude which come over uneasy and troubled hearts.</p> + +<p>As soon as they were in bed, two and two together, they clasped each +other in their arms, as if to protect themselves against this feeling of +the calm and profound slumber of the earth. But Rosa <i>the Jade</i>, who +was alone in her little dark cupboard, felt a vague and painful emotion +come over her.</p> + +<p>She was tossing about in bed, unable to get to sleep, when she heard the +faint sobs of a crying child close to her head through the partition. +She was frightened, and called out, and was answered by a weak voice, +broken by sobs. It was the little girl, who was always used to sleeping +in her mother's room, and who was frightened in her small attic.</p> + +<p>Rosa was delighted, got up softly so as not to awaken anyone, and went +and fetched the child. She took her into her warm bed, kissed her and +pressed her to her bosom, cossetted her, lavished exaggerated +manifestations of tenderness on her, and at last grew calmer herself and +went to sleep. And till morning, the candidate for confirmation slept +with her head on the prostitute's naked bosom.</p> + +<p>At five o'clock, the little church bell ringing the <i>Angelus</i>, woke the +women up, who usually slept the whole morning long.</p> + +<p>The peasants were up already, and the women went busily from house to +house, carefully bringing short, starched, muslin dresses in +band—boxes, or very long wax tapers, with a bow of silk fringed with +gold in the middle, and with dents in the wax for the fingers.</p> + +<p>The sun was already high in the blue sky, which still had a rosy tint +towards the horizon, like a faint trace of dawn, remaining. Families of +fowls were walking about outside houses, and here and there a black +cock, with a glistening breast, raised his head, which was crowned by +his red comb, flapped his wings, and uttered his shrill crow, which the +other cocks repeated.</p> + +<p>Vehicles of all sorts came from neighboring parishes, and discharged +tall, Norman women, in dark dresses, with neck—handkerchiefs crossed +over the bosom, which were fastened with silver brooches, a hundred +years old.</p> + +<p>The men had put on their blouses over their new frock—coats, or over +their old dress—coats of green cloth, the two tails of which hung down +below their blouses. When the horses were in the stable, there was a +double line of rustic conveyances along the road; carts, cabriolets, +tilburies, char—a—bancs, traps of every shape and age, resting on +their shafts, or else with them in the air.</p> + +<p>The carpenter's house was as busy as a beehive. The ladies, in +dressing—jackets and petticoats, with their hanging down, thin, short +hair, which looked as if it were faded and worn by use, were busy +dressing the child, who was standing motionless on a table, while +Madame Tellier was directing the movements of her battalion. They washed +her, did her hair, dressed her, and with the help of a number of pins, +they arranged the folds of her dress, and took in the waist, which was +too large.</p> + +<p>Then, when she was ready, she was told to sit down and not to move, and +the women hurried off to get ready themselves.</p> + +<p>The church bell began to ring again, and its tinkle was lost in the air, +like a feeble voice which is soon drowned in space. The candidates came +out of the houses, and went towards the parochial building which +contained the two—school and the mansion house—and which stood quite +at one end of the village, while the church was situated at the other.</p> + +<p>The parents, in their very best clothes, followed their children, with +awkward looks, and those clumsy movements of the body, which is always +bent at work.</p> + +<p>The little girls disappeared in a cloud of muslin, which looked like +whipped cream, while the lads, who looked like embryo waiters in a +<i>café</i>, and whose heads shone with pomatum, walked with their legs +apart, so as not to get any dust or dirt onto their black trousers.</p> + +<p>It was something for the family to be proud of, when a large number of +relations, who had come from a distance, surrounded the child, and, +consequently, the carpenter's triumph was complete.</p> + +<p>Madame Tellier's regiment, with its mistress at its head, followed +Constance; her father gave his arm to his sister, her mother walked by +the side of Raphaele, Fernande, with Rosa and the two pumps together, +and thus they walked majestically through the village, like a general's +staff in full uniform, while the effect on the village was startling.</p> + +<p>At the school, the girls arranged themselves under the Sister of Mercy, +and the boys under the schoolmaster, and they started off, singing a +hymn as they went. The boys led the way, in two files, between the two +rows of vehicles, from which the horses had been taken out, and the +girls followed in the same order; and as all the people in the village +had given the town ladies the precedence out of politeness, they came +immediately behind the girls, and lengthened the double line of the +procession still more, three on the right and three on the left, while +their dresses were as striking as a bouquet in fireworks.</p> + +<p>When they went into the church, the congregation grew quite excited. +They pressed against each other, they turned round, they jostled one +another in order to see, and some of the devout ones spoke almost aloud, +as they were so astonished at the sight of those ladies whose dresses +were more trimmed than the priest's chasuble.</p> + +<p>The Mayor offered them his pew, the first one on the right, close to the +choir, and Madame Tellier sat there with her sister-in-law, Fernande and +Raphaele, Rosa <i>the Jade</i>, and the two pumps occupied the second seat, +in company with the carpenter.</p> + +<p>The choir was full of kneeling children, the girls on one side, and the +boys on the other, and the long wax tapers which they held looked like +lances, pointing in all directions, and three men were standing in front +of the lectern, singing as loud as they could.</p> + +<p>They prolonged the syllables of the sonorous Latin indefinitely, +holding onto <i>Amens</i> with interminable <i>a—a's</i>, while the serpent of +the organ kept up its monotorious, long drawn out notes, which that +longthroated, copper instrument uttered.</p> + +<p>A child's shrill voice took up the reply, and from time to time a priest +sitting in a stall and wearing a biretta, got up, muttered something, +and sat down again, while the three singers continued, with their eyes +fixed on the big book of plain song lying open before them on the +outstretched wings of an eagle, mounted on a pivot.</p> + +<p>Then silence ensued, and so the service went on, and towards the end of +it, Rosa, with her head in both her hands, suddenly thought of her +mother and her village church on a similar occasion. She almost fancied +that that day had returned, when she was so small, and almost hidden in +her white dress, and she began to cry.</p> + +<p>First of all, she wept silently, and the tears dropped slowly from her +eyes, but her emotion increased with her recollections, and she began to +sob. She took out her pocket-handkerchief, wiped her eyes, and held it +to her mouth, so as not to scream, but it was useless.</p> + +<p>A sort of rattle escaped her throat, and she was answered by two other +profound, heart-breaking sobs; for her two neighbors, Louise and Flora, +who were kneeling near her, overcome by similar recollections, were +sobbing by her side, amidst a flood of tears, and as they are +contagious, <i>Madame</i> soon in turn found that her eyes were wet, and on +turning to her sister-in-law, she saw that all the occupants of her seat +were also crying.</p> + +<p>Soon, throughout the church, here and there, a wife, a mother, a sister, +seized by the strange sympathy of poignant emotion, and agitated by +those handsome ladies on their knees, who were shaken by their sobs, +was moistening her cambric pocket-handkerchief, and pressing her beating +heart with her left hand.</p> + +<p>Just as the sparks from an engine will set fire to dry grass, so the +tears of Rosa and of her companions infected the whole congregation in a +moment. Men, women, old men, and lads in new blouses were soon all +sobbing, and something superhuman seemed to be hovering over their +heads; a spirit, the powerful breath of an invisible and all-powerful +being.</p> + +<p>Suddenly a species of madness seemed to pervade the church, the noise of +a crowd in a state of frenzy, a tempest of sobs and stifled cries. It +passed through them like gusts of wind which bow the trees in a forest, +and the priest, paralyzed by emotion, stammered out incoherent prayers, +without finding words, prayers of the soul, when it soars towards +heaven.</p> + +<p>The people behind him, gradually grew calmer. The cantors, in all the +dignity of their white surplices, went on in somewhat uncertain voices, +and the serpent itself seemed hoarse, as if the instrument had been +weeping; the priest, however, raised his hand, as a sign for them to be +still, and went and stood on the chancel steps, when everybody was +silent, immediately.</p> + +<p>After a few remarks on what had just taken place, which he attributed to +a miracle, he continued, turning to the seats where the carpenter's +guests were sitting:</p> + +<p>"I especially thank you, my dear sisters, who have come from such a +distance, and whose presence among us, whose evident faith and ardent +piety have set such a salutary example to all. You have edified my +parish; your emotion has warmed all hearts; without you, this great day +would not, perhaps, have had this really divine character. It is +sufficient, at times, that there should be one chosen to keep in the +flock, to make the whole flock blessed."</p> + +<p>His voice failed him again, from emotion, and he said no more, but +concluded the service.</p> + +<p>Then they all left the church as quickly as possible, and the children +themselves were restless, as they were tired with such a prolonged +tension of the mind. Besides that, they were hungry, and by degrees they +all left the churchyard, to see about dinner.</p> + +<p>There was a crowd outside, a noisy crowd, a babel of loud voices, where +the shrill Norman accent was discernible. The villagers formed two +ranks, and when the children appeared, each family seized its own.</p> + +<p>The whole houseful of women caught hold of Constance, surrounded her and +kissed her, and Rosa was especially demonstrative. At last she took hold +of one hand, while Madame Tellier held the other, and Raphaele and +Fernande held up her long muslin petticoat, so that it might not drag in +the dust; Louise and Flora brought up the rear with Madame Rivet, and +the child, who was very silent and thoughtful, set off home, in the +midst of this guard of honor.</p> + +<p>The dinner was served in the workshop, on long boards supported by +trestles, and through the open door they could see all the enjoyment +that was going on. Everywhere they were feasting, and through every +window were to be seen tables surrounded by people in their Sunday best, +and a cheerful noise was heard in every house, while the men were +sitting in their shirt-sleeves, drinking cider, glass after glass.</p> + +<p>In the carpenter's house, their gaiety maintained somewhat of an air of +reserve, which was the consequence of the emotion of the girls in the +morning, and Rivet was the only one who was in a good cue, and he was +drinking to excess. Madame Tellier was looking at the clock every +moment, for, in order not to lose two days following, they ought to take +the 3:55 train, which would bring them to Fécamp by dark.</p> + +<p>The carpenter tried very hard to distract her attention, so as to keep +his guests until the next day, but he did not succeed, for she never +joked when there was business to be done, and as soon as they had had +their coffee she ordered her girls to make haste and get ready, and +then, turning to her brother, she said:</p> + +<p>"You must have the horse put in immediately," and she herself went to +finish her last preparations.</p> + +<p>When she came down again, her sister-in-law was waiting to speak to her +about the child, and a long conversation took place, in which, however, +nothing was settled. The carpenter's wife finished, and pretended to be +very much moved, and Madame Tellier, who was holding the girl on her +knees, would not pledge herself to anything definite, but merely gave +vague promises ... she would not forget her, there was plenty of time, +and then, they should meet again.</p> + +<p>But the conveyance did not come to the door, and the women did not come +downstairs. Upstairs, they even heard loud laughter, falls, little +screams, and much clapping of hands, and so, while the carpenter's wife +went to the stable to see whether the cart was ready, Madame went +upstairs.</p> + +<p>Rivet, who was very drunk, and half undressed, was vainly trying to +violate Rosa, who was half choking with laughter. The two pumps were +holding him by the arms and trying to calm him, as they were shocked at +such a scene after that morning's ceremony; but Raphaele and Fernande +were urging him on, writhing and holding their sides with laughter, and +they uttered shrill cries at every useless attempt that the drunken +fellow made.</p> + +<p>The man was furious, his face was red, he was all unbuttoned, and he was +trying to shake off the two women who were clinging to him, while he was +pulling Rosa's petticoat with all his might.</p> + +<p>But <i>Madame</i>, who was very indignant, went up to her brother, seized him +by the shoulders, and threw him out of the room with such violence that +he fell against a wall in the passage, and a minute afterwards they +heard him pumping water onto his head in the yard, and when he came back +with the cart, he was already quite appeased.</p> + +<p>They started off in the same way as they had come the day before, and +the little white horse started off with his quick, dancing trot. Under +the hot sun, their fun, which had been checked during dinner, broke out +again. The girls now were amused at the jolts which the wagon gave, +pushed their neighbors' chairs, and burst out laughing every moment, for +they were in the vein for it, after Rivet's vain attempt.</p> + +<p>There was a haze over the country, the roads were glaring, and dazzled +their eyes, and the wheels raised up two trails of dust, which followed +the cart for a long time along the high road, and presently Fernande, +who was fond of music, asked Rosa to sing something, and she boldly +struck up the <i>Gros Curé de Meudon</i>, but <i>Madame</i> made her stop +immediately, as she thought it a song which was very unsuitable for such +a day, and she added:</p> + +<p>"Sing us something of Béranger's." And so, after a moment's hesitation, +she began Béranger's song, <i>The Grandmother</i>, in her worn-out voice, and +all the girls, and even <i>Madame</i> herself, joined in the chorus:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"How I regret<br /></span> +<span class="i2">My dimpled arms,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">My well-made legs,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">And my vanished charms."<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>"That is first rate," Rivet declared, carried away by the rhythm, and +they shouted the refrain to every verse, while Rivet beat time on the +shafts with his foot, and on the horse's back with the reins, who, as if +he himself were carried away by the rhythm, broke into a wild gallop, +and threw all the women in a heap, one on the top of the other, onto the +bottom of the conveyance.</p> + +<p>They got up, laughing as if they were mad, and the song went on, shouted +at the top of their voices, beneath the burning sky, among the ripening +grain, to the rapid gallop of the little horse, who set off every time +the refrain was sung, and galloped a hundred yards, to their great +delight, while occasionally a stone breaker by the roadside sat up and +looked at the wild and shouting female load through his wire spectacles.</p> + +<p>When they got out at the station, the carpenter said:</p> + +<p>"I am sorry you are going; we might have had some fun together." But +<i>Madame</i> replied very sensibly: "Everything has its right time, and we +cannot always be enjoying ourselves." And then he had a sudden +inspiration:</p> + +<p>"Look here, I will come and see you at Fécamp next month." And he gave a +knowing look, with a bright and roguish eye.</p> + +<p>"Come," <i>Madame</i> said, "you must be sensible; you may come if you like, +but you are not to be up to any of your tricks."</p> + +<p>He did not reply, and as they heard the whistle of the train, he +immediately began to kiss them all. When it came to Rosa's turn, he +tried to get to her mouth, which she, however, smiling with her lips +closed, turned away from him each time by a rapid movement of her head +to one side. He held her in his arms, but he could not attain his +object, as his large whip, which he was holding in his hand and waving +behind the girl's back in desperation, interfered with his efforts.</p> + +<p>"Passengers for Rouen, take your seats, please!" a guard cried, and they +got in. There was a slight whistle, followed by a loud whistle, from the +engine, which noisily puffed out its first jet of steam, while the +wheels began to turn a little, with a visible effort, and Rivet left the +station and went to the gate by the side of the line to get another look +at Rosa, and as the carriage full of human merchandise passed him, he +began to crack his whip and to jump, while he sang at the top of his +voice:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"How I regret<br /></span> +<span class="i2">My dimpled arms,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">My well-made legs,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">And my vanished charms."<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>And then he watched a white pocket-handkerchief, which somebody was +waving, as it disappeared in the distance.</p> + + +<h3>PART III</h3> + +<p>They slept the peaceful sleep of a quiet conscience, until they got to +Rouen, and when they returned to the house, refreshed and rested, +<i>Madame</i> could not help saying:</p> + +<p>"It was all very well, but I was already longing to get home."</p> + +<p>They hurried over their supper, and then, when they had put on their +usual light evening costume, waited for their usual customers, and the +little colored lamp outside the door told the passers-by that the flock +had returned to the fold, and in a moment the news spread, nobody knew +how or by whom.</p> + +<p>Monsieur Philippe, the banker's son, even carried his forgetfulness so +far, as to send a special messenger to Monsieur Tournevau, who was in +the boson of his family.</p> + +<p>The fish-curer used every Sunday to have several cousins to dinner, and +they were having coffee, when a man came in with a letter in his hand. +Monsieur Tournevau was much excited, he opened the envelope and grew +pale; it only contained these words in pencil:</p> + +<p><i>"The cargo of cod has been found; the ship has come into port; good +business for you. Come immediately."</i></p> + +<p>He felt in his pockets, gave the messenger two-pence, and suddenly +blushing to his ears, he said: "I must go out." He handed his wife the +laconic and mysterious note, rang the bell, and when the servant came +in, he asked her to bring him his hat and overcoat immediately. As soon +as he was in the street, he began to run, and the way seemed to him to +be twice as long as usual, in consequence of his impatience.</p> + +<p>Madame Tellier's establishment had put on quite a holiday look. On the +ground floor, a number of sailors were making a deafening noise, and +Louise and Flora drank with one and the other, so as to merit their name +of the two Pumps more than ever. They were being called for everywhere +at once; already they were not quite adequate to their business, and the +night bid fair to be a very jolly one for them.</p> + +<p>The upstairs room was full by nine o'clock. Monsieur Vasse, the Judge of +the Tribunal of Commerce, <i>Madame's</i> usual, but Platonic wooer, was +talking to her in a corner, in a low voice, and they were both smiling, +as if they were about to come to an understanding.</p> + +<p>Monsieur Poulin, the ex-mayor, was holding Rosa on his knees; and she, +with her nose close to his, was running her hands through the old +gentleman's white whiskers.</p> + +<p>Tall Fernande, who was lying on the sofa, had both her feet on Monsieur +Pinipesse, the tax-collector's stomach, and her back on young Monsieur +Philippe's waistcoat; her right arm was round his neck, while she held a +cigarette in her left.</p> + +<p>Raphaele appeared to be discussing matters with Monsieur Dupuis, the +insurance agent, and she finished by saying: "Yes, my dear, I will."</p> + +<p>Just then, the door opened suddenly, and Monsieur Tournevau came in, who +was greeted with enthusiastic cries of: "Long live Tournevau!" And +Raphaele, who was still twirling round, went and threw herself into his +arms. He seized her in a vigorous embrace, and without saying a word, +lifting her up as if she had been a feather, he went through the room, +opened the door at the other end and disappeared.</p> + +<p>Rosa was chatting to the ex-mayor, kissing him every moment, and +pulling both his whiskers at the same time in order to keep his head +straight.</p> + +<p>Fernande and <i>Madame</i> remained with the four men, and Monsieur Philippe +exclaimed: "I will pay for some champagne; get three bottles, Madame +Tellier." And Fernande gave him a hug, and whispered to him: "Play us +a waltz, will you?" So he rose and sat down at the old piano in the +corner, and managed to get a hoarse waltz out of the entrails of the +instrument.</p> + +<p>The tall girl put her arms round the tax-collector, <i>Madame</i> asked +Monsieur Vasse to take her in his arms, and the two couples turned +round, kissing as they danced. Monsieur Vasse, who had formerly danced +in good society, waltzed with such elegance, that <i>Madame</i> was quite +captivated.</p> + +<p>Frederic brought the champagne; the first cork popped, and Monsieur +Philippe played the introduction to a quadrille, through which the four +dancers walked in society fashion, decorously, with propriety, +deportment, bows and curtsies, and then they began to drink.</p> + +<p>Monsieur Philippe next struck up a lively polka, and Monsieur Tournevau +started off with the handsome Jewess, whom he held up in the air, +without letting her feet touch the ground. Monsieur Pinipesse and +Monsieur Vasse had started off with renewed vigor, and from time to time +one or other couple would stop to toss off a long glass of sparkling +wine, and that dance was threatening to become never-ending, when Rosa +opened the door.</p> + +<p>"I want to dance," she exclaimed. And she caught hold of Monsieur +Dupuis, who was sitting idle on the couch, and the dance began again.</p> + +<p>But the bottles were empty. "I will pay for one," Monsieur said. "So +will I," Monsieur Vasse declared. "And I will do the same," Monsieur +Dupuis remarked.</p> + +<p>They all began to clap their hands, and it soon became a regular ball, +and from time to time, Louise and Flora ran upstairs quickly, had a few +turns, while their customers downstairs grew impatient, and then they +returned regretfully to the <i>café</i>. At midnight they were still dancing.</p> + +<p><i>Madame</i> shut her eyes to what was going on and she had long private +talks in corners with Monsieur Vasse, as if to settle the last details +of something that had already been settled.</p> + +<p>At last, at one o'clock, the two married men, Monsieur Tournevau and +Monsieur Pinipesse declared that they were going home, and wanted to +pay. Nothing was charged for except the champagne, and that only cost +six francs a bottle, instead of ten, which was the usual price, and when +they expressed their surprise at such generosity, <i>Madame</i>, who was +beaming, said to them:</p> + +<p>"We don't have a holiday every day."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_BANDMASTERS_SISTER" id="THE_BANDMASTERS_SISTER"></a>THE BANDMASTER'S SISTER</h2> + + +<p>"What a joke!" the bandmaster said, twirling his moustache with the +foolish smile of a good-looking man, who dangles after women's +petticoats, in order that he may get on all the quicker.</p> + +<p>His comrades' equivocal allusions puzzled him, though they flattered him +like applause, and he stealthily looked in the large mirrors at the new +lyres embroidered in gold on the collar of his tunic. They fascinated +him by their glitter, and half intoxicated by the doubtful champagne +that he had drunk during dinner, and by the glasses of chartreuse and of +Bavarian beer which he had imbibed afterwards, and excited by the songs, +he was indulging in his usual dreams of success.</p> + +<p>He saw himself on the platform of a public garden, standing before his +musicians in a flood of light, and he fancied already that he could hear +the whispers of women, and feel the caress of their look upon him.</p> + +<p>He would be invited even into the drawing-rooms of the <i>Faubourg Saint +Germain</i>, which was so difficult of access. With his handsome, pale +face, and his wonderful manner of playing Chopin's music, he would +penetrate every where, and perhaps some romantic heiress would fall in +love with him, and consent to forget that he was only a poor musician, +the son of small shopkeepers, who were still in trade at Bayeux.</p> + +<p>Lieutenant Varache, who was stirring the punch, shrugged his shoulders, +and continued in a bantering voice:</p> + +<p>"Yes, Monsieur Parisel, they are sure to ask you whether you have just +joined the regiment, or whether you have a mistress ..."</p> + +<p>"What do I know?"</p> + +<p>"But they say that you have, and that her eyes grow so bright when she +speaks to you, that a man would forfeit three months' pay for a glance +of them, by Jove!"</p> + +<p>Another traced her likeness in a few words, and described her as if she +had been some knick-knack for sale at an auction. Her hair came low on +her forehead like a golden net, her skin was dazzlingly white, while her +bright eyes threw out glances that were like those flashes of summer +lightning which dart across the sky on a calm night in June.</p> + +<p>Her delicate figure, and she did not look very strong, recalled a plant +that has grown too rapidly. She was a droll creature, on the whole, who +at times looked as if she had made a mistake in the door, who buried +herself in the shade, hid herself, and did not surrender either her +heart or her body, and only left the impression of a statue on the bed +in which she slept, who appeared delighted with the ignoble business she +carried on, and who allured men, and surpassed the common streetwalkers +in shamelessness.</p> + +<p>Parisel, however, was not listening to them any longer.</p> + +<p>He was terribly vexed at meeting with such a common-place adventure at +the first start, and to come across that girl on his road, who would +make him loose, and soil him with unclean love. She would lower him, and +bring him down to the level of rollicking troopers, who are welcome +guests in houses of bad character.</p> + +<p>"Well," one of them said suddenly, "suppose we go and finish the night +at that establishment; it will be far jollier, and the chief will not be +obliged to cudgel his brains to remember the name of the girl he loves!"</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>The officers pushed open the door of the saloon, where a servant was +lighting the chandelier, and Marchessy called out in a loud voice, and +amidst bursts of laughter:</p> + +<p>"Here, Lucie! We have brought your sweetheart to you!"</p> + +<p>She came in first, slowly, and wrapped in a transparent muslin +dressing-gown, and stopped, as if the beating of her heart were choking +her. The bandmaster did not move or say a word; he resembled a duellist, +who sees his adversary advancing towards him and taking aim at him, and +who is waiting for death.</p> + +<p>Great drops of perspiration rolled down his face, and all the blood had +left it, while the woman looked at him, and did not appear to recognize +him, although her eyes wore a look of triumphant pleasure, and when he +started back, and turned his head away, she said to him, in a mocking +voice:</p> + +<p>"What, my dear, are you not going to kiss me, after a whole year? ... I +must have altered very much, very much indeed ... Do not my mouth, and +this mark by the side of my ear, bring something to your mind?"</p> + +<p>And Varache, who had just lit a cigar, muttered: "Are you going to act +a play until to-morrow?"</p> + +<p>Then Lucie threw herself on to a sofa, and with her chin in her hands, +and in the posture of a chimera on the look out for the pleasures she +wishes, continued gravely:</p> + +<p>"We lived at the end of a quiet street behind the cathedral, a street in +which pots of carnations stood on the window ledges, through which the +seminarists went twice a day, as if it had been a procession, and where +I was bored to death. Our parents' shop was cold and dark; my mother +thought of nothing but of going to all the services, and of attending +the <i>novenas</i>, while my father bent over the counter. There was nobody +to pet me, to advise me, or to teach me what life really was, and +besides that, I had the instinctive feeling that they cared for nobody +in this world but my brother.</p> + +<p>"The first kiss that touched my lips nearly sent me mad, and I had not +the force to resist or to say <i>no</i>. I did not even ask the man who +seduced me to marry me, to promise me what men do promise girls. We met +in a booth at the fair, and I used to go to meet him every evening in a +meadow bordered by poplar trees. He had a situation as clerk or +collector, I believe, and when he was sent to another town, I was +already three months in the family way. My people soon found it out, and +forced me to acknowledge everything, and they locked me up like a +prisoner who wished to escape from jail.</p> + +<p>"My brother was home for his holidays—do you remember now, Monsieur +Parisel? He had just been appointed second head clerk, was reckoning on +still further speedy advancement, and was bursting with pride. He was +harder and more inexorable than the two old people towards me, poor +forsaken girl as I was, although they had never left their home. He +spoke about his future, which would be compromised, of the disgrace +which would fall on all the family, went into a rage, arid pitied +neither my tears nor my prayers, and treated me with the cruelty of a +hangman.</p> + +<p>"And they sent me a long way off, like a servant who has committed a +theft, and condemned me to be confined at a farm in a village, where the +peasants treated me harshly. The child died, but the mother lived +through everything.</p> + +<p>"One does not have good luck very frequently, confound it, and the only +thing that I could do was to return evil, to strike at the coward whom I +hated, to dishonor and to lower his name, to stick to the fellow who +strutted about in his uniform, and who had won the game, from garrison +to garrison, as if I had been vermin. That is why I, of my own accord, +came to this house, where one belongs to everybody, and have become +almost more vicious than any of the other girls, and why I have told you +this unentertaining story.</p> + +<p>"I say, you fellows, who will pay ten francs for the bandmaster's +sister? Upon my honor, you will not regret your money!"</p> + +<p>His comrades got Parisel out of the house. He resisted for a week, but +then sold everything he had, borrowed the money to pay Lucie's debts, +and tried in vain to free himself from that weight, and to get her +expelled from the town, but she always returned. She was as implacable +towards him as a gerfalcon that is devouring its prey, and as the +adventure had got wind, and was even talked about at the soldiers' mess, +and as the scandal increased every day, the colonel forced the +bandmaster to resign.</p> + +<p>When Lucie heard the news, she looked vexed, and, said spitefully:</p> + +<p>"I had hoped that he would have blown his brains out!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="FALSE_ALARM" id="FALSE_ALARM"></a>FALSE ALARM</h2> + + +<p>"I have a perfect horror of pianos," Frémecourt said, "of those hateful +boxes that fill up a drawing-room, and which have not even the soft +sound and the queer shape of the mahogany or veneered spinets, to which +our grandmothers sighed out exquisite, long-forgotten ballads, and +allowed their fingers to run over the keys, while around them there +floated a delicate odor of powder and muslin, and some little <i>Abbé</i> or +other turned over the leaves, and was continually making mistakes, as he +was looking at the patches close to the lips on the white skin of the +player instead of at the music.</p> + +<p>"I wish there were a tax upon them, or that some evening, during a riot, +the people would make huge bonfires of them, which would illuminate the +whole town. They simply exasperate me, and affect my nerves, and make me +think of the tortures those poor girls must suffer, who are condemned +not to stir for hours, but to keep on constantly strumming away at the +chromatic scales and monotonous arpeggios, and to have no other object +in life except to win a prize at the <i>Conservatoire</i>.</p> + +<p>"Their incoherent music suggests to me the sufferings of those who are +ill, abandoned, wounded, as it proceeds from every floor of every house, +and irritates you, nearly drives you mad, and makes you break out into +ironical fits of laughter.</p> + +<p>"And yet when that madcap Lâlie Spring honored me with her love, as I +never can refuse anything to a woman who smells of fresh scent, and who +has a large store of promises in her looks, and who puts out her red, +smiling lips immediately, as if she were going to offer you handsel +money, I bought a piano, so that she might strum upon it to her heart's +content. I got it, however, on the hire-purchase system, and paid so +much a month, like <i>grisettes</i><a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> do for their furniture.</p> + +<p>"At that time, I had the apartments I had so long dreamed of: warm, +elegant, light, well-arranged, with two entrances, and an incomparable +porter's wife; she had been canteen-keeper in a Zouave regiment, and +knew everything and understood everything at a wink.</p> + +<p>"It was the kind of apartment from which a woman has not the courage to +escape, so as to avoid temptation, but becomes weak, and rolls herself +up on the soft, eider down cushions like a cat, and so is appeased, and +in spite of herself, thinks of sin at the sight of the low, wide couch, +which is so suitable for caresses, of the heavy curtains, which quite +deaden the sound of voices and of laughter, and of the flowers that +scent the air, and whose smell lingers on the folds of the hangings.</p> + +<p>"They were rooms in which a woman forgets time, where she begins by +accepting a cup of tea and nibbling a sweet cake, and abandons her +fingers timidly and with regret to other fingers which tremble, and are +hot, and so by degrees she loses her head and succumbs.</p> + +<p>"I do not know whether the piano brought us ill luck, but Lâlie had not +even time to learn four songs before she disappeared like the wind, just +as she had come, <i>flick-flack</i>, good-night, good-bye; perhaps from +spite, because she had found letters from other women on my table, +perhaps to renew her advertisement, as she was not one of those to hang +onto one man and become a fixture.</p> + +<p>"I had not been in love with her, certainly, but yet it always has some +effect on a man; it breaks a spring when a woman leaves you, and you +think that you must start again, risk it, and go in for forbidden sport +in which one is exposed to knocks, common sport that one has been +through a hundred times before, and which provides you with nothing to +show for it.</p> + +<p>"Nothing is more unpleasant than to lend your apartments to a friend, to +have to say to yourself that someone is going to disturb the mysterious +intimacy which really exists between the actual owner and his furniture, +the soul of those past kisses which floats in the air; that the room +whose tints you connect with some recollection, some dream, some sweet +vision, and whose colors you have tried to make harmonize with certain +fair-haired, pink-skinned girls, is going to become a common-place +lodging, like the rooms in an ordinary lodging house, which are suitable +to hidden crime and to evanescent love affairs.</p> + +<p>"However, poor Stanis had begged me so urgently to do him that service; +he was so very much in love with Madame de Fréjus, and among the +characters in the play there was a brute of a husband who was terribly +jealous and suspicious; one of those Othellos who have always a flea in +their ear, and come back unexpectedly from shooting or the club, who +pick up pieces of torn paper, listen at doors, smell out meetings with +the nose of a detective, and seem to have been sent into the world only +to be cuckolds, but who know better than most how to lay a snare, and to +play a nasty trick—that when I went to Venice, I consented to let him +have my room.</p> + +<p>"I will leave you to guess whether they made up for lost time, although, +after all, it is no business of yours. My journey, however, which was +only to have lasted a few weeks—just long enough to benefit by the +change of air, to rid my brain of the image of my last mistress, and +perhaps to find another among that strange mixture of society which one +meets there, a medley of American, Slav, Viennese and Italian women, who +instill a little artificial life into that old city, which is asleep +amidst the melancholy silence of the lagoons—was prolonged, and Stanis +was as much at home in my rooms as he was in his own.</p> + +<p>"Madame Piquignolles, the retired canteen-keeper, took great interest in +this adventure, watched over their little love affair, and, as she used +to say, she was on guard as soon as they arrived one after the other, +the marchioness covered with a thick veil, and slipping in as quickly as +possible, always uneasy, and afraid that Monsieur de Fréjus might be +following her, and Stanis with the assured and satisfied look of an +amorous husband, who is going to meet his little wife after having been +away from home for a few days.</p> + +<p>"Well, one day during one of those calm moments when his beloved one, +fresh from her bath, and impregnated with the coolness of the water, was +pressing close to her lover, reclining in his arms, and smiling at him +with half closed eyes, at one of those moments when people do not speak, +but continue their dream, the sentinel, without even asking leave, +suddenly burst into the room, for worthy Madame Piquignolles was in a +terrible fright.</p> + +<p>"A few minutes before, a well-dressed gentleman, followed by two others +of seedy appearance, but who looked very strong, and fit to knock +anybody down, had questioned her in a rough manner, and cross-questioned +her, and tried to turn her inside out, as she said, asking her whether +Monsieur de Fréjus lived on the first floor, without giving her any +explanation, and when she declared that there was nobody occupying the +apartments then, as her lodger was not in France, Monsieur de +Fréjus—for it could certainly be nobody but he—had burst out into an +evil laugh, and said: 'Very well; I shall go and fetch the Police +Commissary of the district, and he will make you let us in!'</p> + +<p>"And as quickly as possible, while she was telling her story, now in a +low, and then in a shrill voice, the woman picked up the marchioness' +dress, cloak, lace-edged drawers, silk petticoat, and little varnished +shoes, pulled her out of bed, without giving her time to let her know +what she was doing, or to moan, or to have a fit of hysterics, and +carried her off, as if she had been a doll, with all her pretty toggery, +to a large, empty cupboard in the dining room, that was concealed by +Flemish tapestry. 'You are a man... Try to get out of the mess,' she +said to Stanis as she shut the door; 'I will be answerable for Madame.' +And the enormous woman, who was out of breath by hurrying upstairs as +she had done, and whose kind, large red face was dripping with +perspiration, while her ample bosom shook beneath her loose jacket, took +Madame de Fréjus onto her knees as if she had been a baby, whose nurse +was trying to quiet her.</p> + +<p>"She felt the poor little culprit's heart beating as if it were going to +burst, while shivers ran over her skin, which was so soft and delicate +that the porter's wife was afraid that she would hurt it with her coarse +hands. She was struck with wonder at the cambric chemise, which a gust +of wind would have carried off as if it had been a pigeon's feather, and +by the delicate odor of that scarce flower which filled the narrow +cupboard, and which rose up in the darkness from that supple body, that +was impregnated with the warmth of the bed.</p> + +<p>"She would have liked to be there, in that profaned room, and to tell +them in a loud voice—with her hands upon her lips like at the time when +she used to serve brandy to her comrades at <i>Daddy l'Arb's</i>—that they +had no common sense, that they were none of them good for much, neither +the Police Commissary, the husband nor the subordinates, to come and +torment a pretty young thing, who was having a little bit of fun, like +that. It was a nice job, to get over the wall in that way, to be absent +from the second call of names, especially when they were all of the same +sort, and were glad of five francs an hour! She had certainly done quite +right to get out sometimes and to have a sweetheart, and she was a +charming little thing, and that she would say, if she were called before +the Court as a witness!</p> + +<p>"And she took Madame de Fréjus in her arms to quiet her, and repeated +the same thing a dozen times, whispered pretty things to her, and +interrupted her occasionally to listen whether they were not searching +all the nooks and corners of the apartment. 'Come, come,' she said, 4 +do not distress yourself. Be calm, my dear...It hurts me to hear you cry +like that.... There will be no mischief done, I will vouch for it.'</p> + +<p>"The marchioness, who was nearly fainting, and who was prostrate with +terror, could only sob out: 'Good heavens! Good heavens!'</p> + +<p>"She scarcely seemed to be conscious of anything; her head seemed +vacant, her ears buzzed, and she felt benumbed, like one does when one +goes to sleep in the snow.</p> + +<p>"Oh! Only to forget everything, as her love dream was over, to go out +quickly, like those little rose-colored tapers at Nice, on Shrove +Tuesday evening.</p> + +<p>"Oh! Not to awake any more, as the to-morrow would come in, black and +sad, because a whole array of barristers, ushers, solicitors and judges +would be against her, and disturb her usual quietude, would torment her, +cover her with mud, as her delicious, amorous adventure—her +first—which had been so carefully enveloped in mystery, and had been +kept so secret behind closed shutters and thick veils, would become an +everyday episode of adultery, which would get wind, and be discussed +from door to door; the lilac had faded, and she was obliged to bid +farewell to happiness, as if to an old friend who was going far, very +far away, never to return!</p> + +<p>"Suddenly, however, she started and sat up, with her neck stretched out +and her eyes fixed, while the excanteen-keeper, who was trembling with +emotion, put her hands to her left ear, which was her best, like a +speaking trumpet, and tried to hear the cries which succeeded each other +from room to room, amidst a noise of opening and shutting of doors.</p> + +<p>"'Ah! upon my word, I am not blind....It is Monsieur de Tavernay who is +applying again, and making all that noise....Don't you hear, <i>Mame +Piquignolles, Mame Piquignolles!</i> Saved, saved!' And she dashed out of +the cupboard like an unwieldy mass, with her cap all on one side, an +anxious look and heavy legs.</p> + +<p>"Tavernay was still quite pale, and in a panting voice he cried out to +them: 'Nothing serious, only that fool Frémecourt, who lent me the +rooms, has forgotten to pay for his piano for the last five months, a +hundred francs a month....You understand ...they came to claim it, and +as we did not reply ...why, they fetched the Police Commissary, and so, +in the name of the law....</p> + +<p>"'A nice fright to give one!' Madame Piquignolles said, throwing herself +onto a chair. 'Confound the nasty piano!'</p> + +<p>"It may be useless to add, that the marchioness has quite renounced +<i>trifles</i>, as our forefathers used to say, and would deserve a prize for +virtue, if the Academy would only show itself rather more gallant +towards pretty women, who take crossroads in order to become virtuous.</p> + +<p>"Emotions like that cure people of running risks of that kind!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="WIFE_AND_MISTRESS" id="WIFE_AND_MISTRESS"></a>WIFE AND MISTRESS</h2> + + +<p>It was not only her long, silky curls, which covered her small, +fairy-like head, like a golden halo, nor her beautiful complexion, nor +her mouth, which was like some delicate shell, nor was it her supreme +innocence, which was shown by her sudden blushes, and by her somewhat +awkward movements, nor was it her ingenious questions which had assailed +and conquered George d'Harderme's heart. He had a peculiar temper, and +any appearance of a yoke frightened him and put him to flight +immediately, and his unstable heart was ready to yield to any +temptation, and he was incapable of any lasting attachment, while a +succession of women had left no more traces on it than on the seashore, +which is constantly being swept by the waves.</p> + +<p>It was not the dream of a life of affection, of peace, the want of +loving and of being loved, which a fast man so often feels between +thirty and forty. His insurmountable lassitude of that circle of +pleasure in which he has turned, like a horse in a circus, the voids in +his existence which the marriage of his bachelor friends cause, and +which in his selfishness he looks upon as desertion, and whom he, +nevertheless, envies, which had at last induced him to listen to the +prayers and advice of his old mother, and to marry Mademoiselle Suzanne +de Gouvres; but the vision that he had had when he saw her playing with +quite little children, covering them with kisses, and looking at them +with ecstacy in her limpid eyes, and in hearing her talk of the +pleasures and the anguish that they must feel who are mothers in the +fullest sense of the word-the vision of a happy home where a man feels +that he is living again in others of that house, which is full of +laughter and of song, and seems as if it were full of birds.</p> + +<p>As a matter of fact, he loved children, like some men love animals, and +he was interested in them, as in some delightful spectacle, and they +attracted him.</p> + +<p>He was very gentle, kind and thoughtful with them, invented games for +them, took them on his knees, was never tired of listening to their +chatter, or of watching the development of their instincts, of their +intellect, and of their little, delicate souls.</p> + +<p>He used to go and sit in the Parc Monceau, and in the squares, to watch +them playing and romping and prattling round him, and one day, as a +joke, somebody, a jealous mistress, or some friends in joke, had sent +him a splendid wet nurse's cap, with long, pink ribbons.</p> + +<p>At first, he was under the influence of the charm that springs from the +beginning of an intimacy, from the first kisses, and devoted himself +altogether to that amorous education which revealed a new life to him, +as it were, and enchanted him.</p> + +<p>He thought of nothing except of increasing the ardent love that his wife +bestowed on him, and lived in a state of perpetual adoration. Suzanne's +feelings, the metamorphosis of that virginal heart, which was beginning +to glow with love, and which vibrated, her passion, her modesty, her +sensations, were all delicious surprises to him.</p> + +<p>He felt that feverish pleasure of a traveler who has discovered some +marvelous Eden, and loses his head over it, and, at times, with a long +affectionate and proud look at her, which grew even warmer on looking +into Suzanne's limpid, blue eyes, he would put his arms round her waist, +and pressing her to him so strongly that it hurt the young woman, he +exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"Oh! I am quite sure that nowhere on earth are there two people who love +each other as we do, and who are as happy as you and I are, my darling!"</p> + +<p>Months of uninterrupted possession and enchantment succeeded each other +without George altering, and without any lassitude mingling with the +ardor of their love, or the fire of their affection dying out.</p> + +<p>Then, however, suddenly he ceased to be happy, and, in spite of all his +efforts to hide his invincible lowness of spirits, he became another +man, restless, being irritated at nothing, morose, and bored at +everything and everywhere; whimsical, and never knowing what he wanted.</p> + +<p>But there was certainly something that was now poisoning that affection +which had formerly been his delight, which was coming more and more +between him and his wife every day, and which was giving him a distaste +for home.</p> + +<p>By degrees, that vague suffering assumed a definite shape in his heart, +got implanted and fixed there, like a nail. He had not attained his +object, and he felt the weight of chains, understood that he could never +get used to such an existence, that he could not love a woman who seemed +incapable of becoming a mother, who lowered herself to the part of a +lawful mistress, and who was not faithful to him.</p> + +<p>Alas! To awake from such a dream, to say to himself that he was reduced +to envying the good fortune of others, that he should never cover a +little, curly, smiling head with kisses, where some striking likeness, +some undecided gleams of growing intellect fill a man with joy, but that +he would be obliged to take the remainder of his journey in solitude, +heart-broken, with nothing but old age around him; that no branch would +again spring from the family tree, and that on his death-bed he should +not have that last consolation of pressing his dear ones, for whom he +struggled and made so many sacrifices, in his failing arms, and who were +sobbing with grief, but that soon he should be the prey of indifferent +and greedy heirs, who were discounting his approaching death like some +valuable security!</p> + +<p>George had not told Suzanne the feelings which were tormenting him, and +took care that she should not see his state of unhappiness, and he did +not worry her with trying questions, that only end in some violent and +distressing scene.</p> + +<p>But she was too much of a woman, and she loved her husband too much, not +to guess what was making him so gloomy, and was imperiling their love.</p> + +<p>And every month there came a fresh disappointment, and hope was again +deferred. She, however, persisted in believing that their wish would be +granted, and grew ill with this painful waiting, and refused to believe +that she should never be a mother.</p> + +<p>She would have looked upon it as a humiliation either to consult a +medical man, or to make a pilgrimage to some shrine, like so many women +did, in their despair, and her proud, loyal and loving nature at last +rebelled against that hostility, which showed itself in the angry +outbursts, the painful silence, and the haughty coldness of the man who +could, however, have done anything he liked with her, by a little +kindness.</p> + +<p>With death in her soul, she had a presentiment of the way of the cross, +which is an end of love, of all the bitterness, which sooner or later +would end in terrible quarrels, and in words which would put an +impassable barrier between them.</p> + +<p>At last, one evening, when George d'Hardermes had lost his temper, had +wounded her by equivocal words and bad jokes, Suzanne, who was very +pale, and who was clutching the arms of her easy chair convulsively, +interrupted him with the accents of farewell in her melancholy face:</p> + +<p>"As you do not love me any more, why not tell me so, at once, instead of +wounding me like this by small, traitorous blows, and, above all, why +continue to live together?...You want your liberty, and I will give it +to you; you have your fortune, and I have mine. Let us separate without +a scandal and without a lawsuit, so that, at least, a little friendship +may survive our love...I shall leave Paris and go and live in the +country with my mother.... God is my witness, however, that I still love +you, my poor George, as much as ever, and that I shall remain your wife, +whether I am with you, or separated from you!"</p> + +<p>George hesitated for a few moments before replying, with an uneasy, sad +look on his face, and then said, turning away his head:</p> + +<p>"Yes, perhaps it will be best for both of us!"</p> + +<p>They voluntarily broke their marriage contract, as she had heroically +volunteered to do. She kept her resolution, exiled herself, buried +herself in obscurity, accepted the trial with calm fortitude, and was as +resigned as only faithful and devoted souls can be.</p> + +<p>They wrote to each other, and she deluded herself, pursued the chimera +that George would return to her, would call her back to his side, would +escape from his former associates, would understand of what deep love he +had voluntarily deprived himself, and would love her again as he had +formerly loved her; and she resisted all the entreaties and the advice +of her friends, to cut such a false position short, and to institute a +suit for divorce against her husband, as the issue would be certain.</p> + +<p>He, at the end of a few months of solitude, of evanescent love affairs, +when to beguile his loneliness, a man passes from the arms of one woman +to those of another, had set up a new home, and had tied himself to a +woman whom he had accidentally met at a party of friends, and who had +managed to please him and to amuse him.</p> + +<p>His deserted wife was naturally not left in ignorance of the fact, and, +stifling her jealousy and her grief, she put on a smile, and thought +that it would be the same with this one as it had been with all his +other ephemeral mistresses, whom her husband had successively got rid +of.</p> + +<p>Was not that, after all, the best thing to bring about the issue which +she longed and hoped for? Would not that doubtful passion, that close +intimacy certainly make Monsieur d'Hardermes compare the woman he +possessed with the woman he had formerly had, and cause him to invoke +that lost paradise and that heart full of forgiveness, of love and of +goodness, which had not forgotten him, but which would respond to his +first appeal?</p> + +<p>And that confidence of hers in a happier future, which neither all the +proofs of that connection, in which Monsieur d'Hardermes was becoming +more and more involved, and which her friends so kindly furnished her +with, nor the disdainful silence with which he treated all her gentle, +indulgent letters could shake, had something touching, angelic in it, +and reminded those who knew her well, of certain passages in the <i>Lives +of the Saints</i>.</p> + +<p>At length, however, the sympathy of those who had so often tried to save +the young woman, to cure her, and to open her eyes, became exhausted, +and, left to herself, Suzanne proudly continued her dream, and absorbed +herself in it.</p> + +<p>Two interminable years had passed since she had lived with Monsieur +d'Hardermes, and since he had put that hateful mistress in her place. +She had lost all trace of them, knew nothing about him, and, in spite of +everything, did not despair of seeing him again, and regaining her hold +over him, who could tell when, or by what miracle, but surely before +those eyes which he had so loved were tired of shedding tears, and her +fair hair, which he had so often covered with kisses, had grown white.</p> + +<p>And the arrival of the postman every morning and evening, made her start +and shiver with nervousness.</p> + +<p>One day, however, when she was going to Paris, Madame d'Hardermes found +herself alone in the ladies' carriage, into which she had got in a +hurry, with a peasant woman in her Sunday best, who had a child with +pretty pink cheeks and rosy lips, and which was like the dimpled cherubs +that one sees in pictures of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, on her +lap.</p> + +<p>The nurse said affectionate words to the child in a coaxing voice, +wrapped it up in the folds of her large cloak, sometimes gave it a +noisy, hearty kiss, and it beat the air with little hands, and crowed +and laughed with those pretty, attractive babyish movements, that +Suzanne could not help exclaiming: "Oh! the pretty little thing!" and +taking it into her arms.</p> + +<p>At first the child was surprised at the strange face, and for a moment, +seemed as if it were going to cry; but it became reassured immediately, +smiled at the stranger who looked at it so kindly, inhaled the delicate +scent of the iris in the bodice of her dress, with dilated nostrils, and +cuddled up against her.</p> + +<p>The two women began to talk, and, without knowing why, Madame +d'Hardermes questioned the nurse, asked her where she came from, and +where she was taking the little thing to.</p> + +<p>The other, rather flattered that Suzanne admired the child and took an +interest in it, replied, somewhat vaingloriously, that she lived at +<i>Bois-le-Roy</i>, and that her husband was a wagoner.</p> + +<p>The child had been entrusted to their care by some people in Paris, who +appeared very happy, and extremely well off. And the nurse added in a +drawling voice:</p> + +<p>"Perhaps, Madame, you know my master and mistress, Monsieur and Madame +d'Hardermes?"</p> + +<p>Suzanne started with surprise and grief, and grew as pale as if all her +blood were streaming from some wound, and thinking that she had not +heard correctly, with a fixed look and trembling lips, she said, +slowly, as if every word hurt her throat:</p> + +<p>"You said, Monsieur and Madame d'Hardermes?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; do you know them?"</p> + +<p>"I, yes...formerly...but it is a long time ago."</p> + +<p>She could scarcely speak, and was as pale as death; she hardly knew what +she was saying, with her eyes on this pretty child, which George must be +so fond of.</p> + +<p>She saw him, as if in a window which had suddenly been lifted up, where +everything had been dark before, with their arms round each other, and +radiant with happiness, with that fair head, that divine dawn, the +living, smiling proof of their love, between them.</p> + +<p>They would never leave each other; they were already almost as good as +married, and were robbing her of the name which she had defended and +guarded as a sacred deposit.</p> + +<p>She would never succeed in breaking such bonds. It was a shipwreck where +nothing could survive, and where the waves did not even drift some +shapeless waif and stray ashore.</p> + +<p>And great tears rolled down her cheeks, one by one, and wet her veil.</p> + +<p>The train stopped at the station, and the nurse scarcely liked to ask +Suzanne for the child, who was holding it against her heaving bosom, and +kissing it as if she intended to smother it, and she said:</p> + +<p>"I suppose the baby reminds you of one you have lost, my poor, dear +lady, but the loss can be repaired at your age, surely; a second is as +good as a first, and if one does not do oneself justice..."</p> + +<p>Madame d'Hardermes gave her back the child, and hurried out straight +ahead of her, like a hunted animal, and threw herself into the first cab +that she saw...</p> + +<p>She sued for a divorce, and obtained it.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="MAD10" id="MAD10"></a>MAD<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a></h2> + +<h3>PART I</h3> + +<p>For days and days, nights and nights, I had dreamt of that first kiss, +which was to consecrate our engagement, and I knew not on what spot I +should put my lips, that were madly thirsting for her beauty and her +youth. Not on her forehead, that was accustomed to family caresses, nor +on her light hair, which mercenary hands had dressed, nor on her eyes, +whose turned up lashes looked like little wings, because that would have +made me think of the farewell caress which closes the eyelids of some +dead woman whom one has adored, nor her lovely mouth, which I will not, +which I must not possess until that divine moment when Elaine will at +last belong to me altogether and for always, but on that delicious +little dimple which comes in one of her cheeks when she is happy, when +she smiles, and which excited me as much as her voice did with +languorous softness, on that evening when our flirtation began, at the +Souverette's.</p> + +<p>Our parents had gone away, and were walking slowly under the chestnut +trees in the garden, and had left us alone together for a few minutes. I +went up to her and took both her hands into mine, which were trembling, +and gently drawing her close to me, I whispered:</p> + +<p>"How happy I am, Elaine, and how I love you!" and I kissed her almost +timidly, on the dimple. She trembled, as if from the pain of a burn, +blushed deeply and with an affectionate look, she said: "I love you +also, Jacques, and I am very happy!"</p> + +<p>That embarrassment, that sudden emotion which revealed the perfect +spotlessness of a pure mind, the instinctive recoil of virginity, that +childlike innocence, that blush of modesty, delighted me above +everything as a presage of happiness. It seemed to me as if I were +unworthy of her; I was almost ashamed of bringing her, and of putting +into her small, saint-like hands the remains of a damaged heart, that +had been polluted by debauchery, that miserable thing which had served +as a toy for unworthy mistresses, which was intoxicated with lies, and +felt as if it would die of bitterness and disgust....</p> + + +<h3>PART II</h3> + +<p>How quickly she has become accustomed to me, how suddenly she has turned +into a woman and become metamorphosed; already she no longer is at all +like the artless girl, the sensitive child, to whom I did not know what +to say, and whose sudden questions disconcerted me!</p> + +<p>She is coquettish, and there is seduction in her attitudes, in her +gestures, in her laugh and in her touch. One might think that she was +trying her power over me, and that she guesses that I no longer have any +will of my own. She does with me whatever she likes, and I am quite +incapable of resisting the beautiful charm that emanates from her, and I +feel carried away by her caressing hands, and so happy that I am at +times frightened at the excess of my own felicity.</p> + +<p>My life now passes amidst the most delicious of punishments, those +afternoons and evenings that we spend together, those unconstrained +moments when, sitting on the sofa together, she rests her head on my +shoulder, holds my hands and half shuts her beautiful eyes while we +settle what our future life shall be, when I <i>cover</i> her with kisses and +inhale the odor of all those little hairs that are as fine as silk and +are like a halo round her imperial brow, excite me, unsettle me, kill +me, and yet I feel inclined to shed tears, when the time comes for us to +part, and I really only exist when I am with Elaine.</p> + +<p>I can scarcely sleep; I see her rise up in the darkness, delicate, fair +and pink, so supple, so elegant with her small waist and tiny hands and +feet, her graceful head and that look of mockery and of coaxing which +lies in her smile, that brightness of dawn which illuminates her looks, +that when I think that she is going to become my wife, I feel inclined +to sing, and to shout out my amorous folly into the silence of the +night.</p> + +<p>Elaine also seems to be at the end of her strength, has grown languid +and nervous; she would like to wipe out the fortnight that we still have +to wait, and so little does she hide her longing, that one of her +uncles, Colonel d'Orthez, said after dinner the other evening: "By Jove, +my children, one would take you for two soldiers who are looking forward +to their furlough!"</p> + + +<h3>PART III</h3> + +<p>I do not know what I felt, or whence those fears came which so suddenly +assailed me, and took possession of my whole being like a flight of +poisoned arrows. The nearer the day approached that I am so ardently +longing for, on which Elaine would take my name and belong to me, the +more anxious, nervous and tormented by the uncertainty of the morrow, I +feel.</p> + +<p>I love, and I am passionately loved, and few couples start on the +unknown journey of a totally new life and enter into matrimony with such +hopes, and the same assurance of happiness, as we two.</p> + +<p>I have such faith in the girl I am going to marry, and have made her +such vows of love, that I should certainly kill myself without a +moment's hesitation if anything were to happen to separate us, to force +us to a correct but irremediable rupture, or if Elaine were seized by +some illness which carried her off quickly; and yet I hesitate, I am +afraid, for I know that many others have made shipwreck, lost their love +on the way, disenchanted their wives and have themselves been +disenchanted in those first essays of possession, during that first +night of tenderness and of intimacy.</p> + +<p>What does Elaine expect in her vague innocence, which has been lessened +by the half confidences of married friends, by semi-avowals, by all the +kisses of this sort of apprenticeship which is a court of love; what +does she possess, what does she hope for? Will her refined, delicate, +vibrating nature bend to the painful submission of the initial embrace; +will she not rebel against that ardent attack that wounds and pains? Oh! +to have to say to oneself that it must come to that, to lower the most +ideal of affections, to think that one is risking one's whole future +happiness at such a hazardous game, that the merest trifle might make a +woman completely ridiculous or hopeful, and make an idolized woman laugh +or cry!</p> + +<p>I do not know a more desirable, prettier or more attractive being in the +whole world than Elaine; I am worn out by feverish love, I thirst for +her lips and I wish every particle of her being to belong to me; I love +her ardently, but I would willingly give half that I possess to have got +through this ordeal, to be a week older, <i>and still happy</i>!...</p> + + +<h3>PART IV</h3> + +<p>My mother-in-law took me aside yesterday, while they were dancing, and +with tears in her eyes, she said in a tremulous voice:</p> + +<p>"You are going to possess the most precious object that we possess here, +and what we love best.... I beg you to always spare the slightest +unhappiness, and to be kind and gentle towards her.... I count on your +uprightness and affection to guide her and protect her in this dangerous +life in Paris."... And then, giving way to her feelings more and more, +she added: "I do not think that you suppose that I have tried to +instruct her in her new duties or to disturb her charming innocence, +which has been my work; when two persons worship each other like you two +do, a girl learns what she is ignorant of, so quickly and so well!"</p> + +<p>I very nearly burst out laughing in her face, for such a theatrical +phrase appeared to me both ridiculous and doubtful. So that respectable +woman had always been a passive, pliable, inert object, who never had +one moment of vibration, of tender emotion in her husband's arms, and I +understood why, as I wasted at the clubs, he escaped from her as soon as +possible and made other connections which cost him dear, but in which he +found at least some appearance of love.</p> + +<p>Oh! to call that supreme bliss of possession, which makes human beings +divine and which transports them far from everything, that despotic pain +of virginity, which guesses, which waits, which longs for those +mysterious, unknown, brief sufferings that contain the germs of future +pleasure, the only happiness of which one never tires, a duty!</p> + +<p>And that piece of advice, at the last moment, which was as common-place +and natural, and which I ought to have expected, enervated me, and, in +spite of myself, plunged me into a state of perplexity, from which I +could not extricate myself. I remembered those absurd stories which we +hear among friends, after a good dinner. What would be that last trial +of our love for her and for me, and could that love which then was my +whole life, come out of the ordeal lessened or increased tenfold? And +when I looked at the couch on which Elaine, my adored Elaine, was +sitting, with her head half-hidden behind the feathers of her fan, she +whispered in a rather vexed voice:</p> + +<p>"How cross you look, my dear Jacques? Is the fact of your getting +married the cause of it? And you have such a mocking look on your face. +If the thought of it terrifies you too much, there is still time to say +no!"</p> + +<p>And delighted, bewitched by her caressing looks, I said in a low voice, +almost into her small ear:</p> + +<p>"I adore you; and these last moments that still separate us from each +other, seem centuries to me, my dear Elaine!"</p> + + +<h3>PART V</h3> + +<p>There were tiresome ceremonies yesterday, and to-day, which I went +through almost mechanically.</p> + +<p>First, there is the yes before the mayor at the civil ceremony,<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a> like +some everyday response in church, which one is in a hurry to get over, +and which has almost the suggestion of an imperious law, to which one is +bound to submit, and of a state of bondage, which will, perhaps, be very +irksome, since the whole of existence is made up of chances.</p> + +<p>And then the service in church, with the decorated altar, the voices of +the choir, the solemn music of the organ, the unctuous address of the +old priest who marks his periods, who seemed quite proud of having +prepared Elaine for confirmation, and then the procession to the vestry, +the shaking hands, and the greetings of people whom you scarcely see, +and whom you do, or do not recognize.</p> + +<p>Under the long tulle veil, which almost covered her, with the symbolical +orange flowers on her bright, light hair, in her white dress, with her +downcast eyes and her graceful figure, Elaine looked to me like a +<i>Psyche</i>, whose innocent heart was vowed to love. I felt how vain and +artificial all this form was, how little this show counted before this +<i>Kiss</i>, the triumphant, revealing, maddening Kiss, which rivets the +flesh of the wife to the lips and all the flesh of the husband, which +turns the Immaculate youth of the virgin into a woman, and consecrates +it to tender caresses, to dreams and to future ecstacies, through the +sufferings of a rape.</p> + + +<h3>PART VI</h3> + +<p>Elaine loves me, as much as I adore her.</p> + +<p>She left her parental abode, as if she was going to some festivity, +without turning round toward all that she had left behind her in the way +of affection and recollection, and without even a farewell tear, which +the first kiss effaces, on her long turned-up lashes.</p> + +<p>She looked like a bird which had escaped from its cage, and does not +know where to settle, which beats its wings in the intoxication of the +light, and which warbles incessantly. She repeated the same words, as if +she had been rather intoxicated, and her laugh sounded like the cooing +of a pigeon, and looking into my eyes, with her eyes full of languor, +and her arms round my neck like a bracelet, and with her burning cheek +against mine, she suddenly exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"I say, my darling, would you not give ten years of your life to have +already got to the end of the journey?"</p> + +<p>And that passionate question so disconcerted me, that I did not know +what to reply, and my brain reeled, as if I had been at the edge of a +precipice. Did she already know what her mother had not told her? Had +she already learned what she ought to have been ignorant of? And had +that heart, which I used to compare to <i>the Vessel of Election</i>, of +which the litanies of Our Lady speak, already been damaged?</p> + +<p>Oh! white veils, that hide the blushes, the half-closed eyes and the +trembling lips of some <i>Psyche</i>, oh! little hands which you raised in +an attitude of prayer toward the lighted and decorated altar, oh! +innocent and charming questions, which delighted me to the depths of my +being, and which seemed to me to be an absolute promise of happiness, +were you nothing but a lie, and a wonderfully well acted piece of +trickery?</p> + +<p>But was I not wrong, and an idiot, to allow such thoughts to take +possession of me, and to poison my deep, absorbing love, which was now +my only law and my only object, by odious and foolish suggestions? What +an abject and miserable nature I must have, for such a simple, +affectionate, natural question to disturb me so, when I ought +immediately to have replied to Elaine's question, with all my heart that +belonged to hear:</p> + +<p>"Yes, ten or twenty years, because you are my happiness, my desire, my +love!"</p> + + +<h3>PART VII</h3> + +<p>I did not choose to wait until she woke up, I sprang from the bed, where +Elaine was still sleeping, with her disheveled hair lying on the +lace-edged pillows. Her complexion was almost transparent, her lips were +half open, as if she were dreaming, and she seemed so overcome with +sleep, that I felt much emotion when I looked at her.</p> + +<p>I drank four glasses of mild champagne, one after the other, as quickly +as I could, but it did not quench my thirst. I was feverish and would +have given anything in the world for something to interest me suddenly +and have absorbed me and lifted me out of that slough in which my heart +and my brain were being engulfed, as if in a quicksand. I did not +venture to avow to myself what was making me so dejected, what was +torturing me and driving me mad with grief, or to scrutinize the muddy +bottom of my present thoughts sincerely and courageously, to question +myself and to pull myself together.</p> + +<p>It would have been so odious, so infamous, to harbor such suspicions +unjustly, to accuse that adorable creature who was not yet twenty, whom +I loved, and <i>who seemed to love me</i>, without having certain proofs, +that I felt that I was blushing at the idea that I had any doubt of her +innocence. Ah! Why did I marry?</p> + +<p>I had a sufficient income to enable me to live as I liked, to pay +beautiful women who pleased me, whom I chanced to meet, and who amused +me, and who sometimes gave me unexpected proofs of affection, but I had +never allowed myself to be caught altogether, and in order to keep my +heart warm, I had some romantic and sentimental friendships with women +in society, some of those delightful flirtations which have an +appearance of love, which fill up the idleness of a useless life with a +number of unexpected sensations, with small duties and vague subtle +pleasures!</p> + +<p>And was I now going to be like one of those ships which an unskillful +turn of the helm runs ashore as it is leaving the harbor? What terrible +trials were awaiting me, what sorrows and what struggles?</p> + +<p>A chaffing friend said to me one night in joke at the club, when I had +just broken one of those banks, which form an epoch in a player's life:</p> + +<p>"If I were in your place, Jacques, I should distrust such runs of luck +as that, for one always has to pay for them sooner or later!"</p> + +<p>Sooner or later!</p> + +<p>I half opened the bedroom door gently. Elaine was in one of those heavy +sleeps that follow intoxication. Who could tell whether, when she opened +her eyes and called me, surprised at not finding herself in my arms, her +whole being would not become languid, and suddenly sink into a state of +prostration? I wanted to reason with myself, and bring myself face to +face with those cursed suggestions, as one does with a skittish horse +before some object that frightens it, and to evoke the recollection of +every hour, every minute of that first night of love, and to extract the +secret from her....</p> + +<p>Elaine's looks and radiant smile were overflowing with happiness, and +she had the air of a conqueror who is proud of his triumph, for she was +now a <i>woman</i> already, and we had <i>at least been alone</i> in this +modernized country house, which had been redecorated and smartened up to +serve as the frame for our affection! She hardly seemed to know what she +was saying or doing, and ran from room to room in her light morning +dress of mauve crape, without exactly knowing where to sit, and almost +dazzled by the light of the lamps that had large shades in the shape of +rose leaves over them.</p> + +<p>There was no embarrassment, no hesitation, no shamefaced looks, no +recoiling from the arms that were stretched out to her, or from the lips +that begged; none of those delightful little pieces of awkwardness which +show a virgin soul free from all perversion, in her manner of sitting on +my knees, or putting her bare arms round my neck, and of offering me the +back of her neck and her lips to kiss, but she laughed nervously, and +her supple form trembled when I kissed her passionately on various +places, and she said things to me that were suitable for being whispered +on the pillows, while a strange languor overshadowed her eyes, and +dilated her nostrils.</p> + +<p>And suddenly with a mocking gesture, which seemed to bid defiance to the +supper that was laid on a small table, cold meat of various kinds, +plates of fruit and of cakes, the ice pail, from which the neck of a +bottle of champagne protruded, she said merrily:</p> + +<p>"I am not at all hungry, dear; let us have supper later! what do you +say?"</p> + +<p>She half turned round to the large bed, which seemed to be quite ready +for us, and which looked white in the shadow of the recess in which it +stood, with its two white, untouched, almost solemn pillows. She was not +smiling any more; there was a bluish gleam in her eyes, like that of +burning alcohol, and I lost my head. Elaine did not try to escape, and +did not utter a complaint.</p> + +<p>Oh! that night of torture and delight, that night which ought never to +have ended!</p> + +<p>I determined that I would be as patient as a policeman who is trying to +discover the traces of a crime, that I would investigate the past of +this girl, about which I knew nothing, as I should be sure to discover +some proof, some important reminiscence, some servant who had been her +accomplice.</p> + +<p>And yet I adored her, my pretty, my divine Elaine, and I would consent +no matter to what if only she were what I dreamt her, what I wished her +to be, if only this nightmare would go and no longer rise up between her +and me.</p> + +<p>When she woke up, she spoke to me in her coaxing voice.... Oh! her +kisses, again her kisses, always her kisses, in spite of everything!</p> + +<p>Oh! to have believed blindly, to have believed on my knees that she was +not lying, that she was not making a mockery of my tenderness, and that +she had never belonged, and never would belong, to any one but me!</p> + + +<h3>PART VIII</h3> + +<p>I wished that I could have transformed myself into one of those crafty, +unctuous priests, to whom women confess their most secret faults, to +whom they entrust their souls and frequently ask for advice, and that +Elaine would have come and knelt at the grating of the confessional, +where I should press her closely with questions, and gradually extract +sincere confidences from her.</p> + +<p>As soon as I am by the side of a young or old woman now, I try to give +our conversation a ticklish turn; I forget all reserve and I try to make +her talk of those jokes which nettle, those words of double meaning +which excite, and to lead her up to the only subject that interests and +holds me, to find out what she feels in her body as well as in her +heart, on that night, when for the first time, she has to undergo the +nuptial ordeal. Some do not appear to understand me, blush, leave me as +if I were some unpleasant, ill-mannered person, and had offended them; +as if I had tried to force open the precious casket in which they keep +their sweetest recollections.</p> + +<p>Others, on the other hand, understand me only too well, scent something +equivocal and ridiculous, though they do not exactly know what, make me +go on, and finally get out of the difficulty by some subtle piece of +impertinence, and a burst of chaffing laughter.</p> + +<p>Two or three at most, and they were those pretty little upstarts who +talk at random, and brag about their vice, and whom one could soon not +leave a leg to stand upon, were one to take the trouble, have related +their impressions to me with ironical complaisance, and I found nothing +in what they told me that reassured me, nor could I discover anything +serious, true or moving in it.</p> + +<p>That supreme initiation amused them as much as if it had been a scene +from a comedy; the small amount of affection that they felt for the man +with whom their existence had been associated grew less and evaporated +altogether—and they remembered nothing about it except its ridiculous +and hateful side, and described it as a sort of pantomime in which they +played a bad part. But these did not love and were not adored like +Elaine was. They married either from interest, or that they might not +remain old maids, that they might have more liberty and escape from +troublesome guardianship.</p> + +<p>Foolish dolls, without either heart or head, they had neither that +almost diseased nervosity, nor that requirement for affection, nor that +instinct of love which I discovered in my wife's nature, and which +attracted me, at the same time that it terrified me.</p> + +<p>Besides, who could convince me of my errors? Who could dissipate that +darkness in which I was lost? What miracle could restore <i>all</i> my belief +in her again?</p> + + +<h3>PART IX</h3> + +<p>Elaine felt that I was hiding something from her, that I was unhappy, +that, as it were, some threatening obstacle had risen up between her and +me, that some insupportable suspicion was oppressing me, torturing me +and keeping me from her arms, was poisoning and disturbing that +affection in which I had hoped to find fresh youth, absolute happiness, +my dream of dreams.</p> + +<p>She never spoke to me about it, however, but seemed to recoil from a +definite explanation, which might make shipwreck of her love. She +surrounded me with endearing attentions, and appeared to be trying to +make my life so pleasant to me, that nothing in the world could draw me +from it! And she would certainly cure me, if this madness of mine, were +not, alas! like those wounds which are constantly reopening, and which +no balm can heal.</p> + +<p>But, at times, I lived again, I imagined that her caresses had exorcised +me, that I was saved, that doubt was no longer gnawing at my heart, that +I was going to adore her again, like I used to adore her. I used to +throw myself at her knees and put my lips on her little hands which she +abandoned to me, I looked at her lovely, limpid eyes as if they had been +a piece of a blue sky that appeared amidst black storm clouds, and I +whispered, with something like a sob in my throat:</p> + +<p>"You love me, do you not, with all your heart; you love me as much as I +love you; tell me so again, my dear love; tell me that, and nothing but +that!"</p> + +<p>And she used to reply eagerly, with a smile of joy on her lips:</p> + +<p>"Do you not know it? Do you not see every moment that I love you, that +you have taken entire possession of me, and that I only live for you and +by you?"</p> + +<p>And her kisses gave me new life, and intoxicated me, like when one +returns from a long journey and had been in peril and is despaired of +ever seeing some beloved object again, and one meets with a sort of +frenzied embrace, and forgets everything in that divine feeling that one +is going to die of happiness....</p> + + +<h3>PART X</h3> + +<p>But these were only ephemeral clear spots in our sky, and the cries +which accompanied them only grew more bitter and terrible. I knew that +Elaine was growing more and more uneasy at the apparent strangeness of +my character, that she suffered from it and that it affected her nerves, +that the existence to which I was condemning her in spite of myself, +that all this immoderate love of mine, followed by fits of inexplicable +coldness and of low spirits, disconcerted her, so that she was no longer +the same, and kept away from me. She could not hide her grief, and was +continually worrying me with questions of affectionate pity. She +repeated the same things over and over again, with hateful persistence. +She had vexed me, without knowing it! Was I already tired of my married +life, and did I regret my lost liberty? Had I any private troubles which +I had not told her of; heavy debts which I did not know how to pay; was +it family matters or some former connection with a woman that I had +broken off suddenly, and that now threatened to create a scandal? Was I +being worried by anonymous letters? What was it, in a word; what was it?</p> + +<p>My denials only exasperated her, so that she sulked in silence, while +her brain worked and her heart grew hard towards me; but could I, as a +matter of fact, tell her of my suspicions which were filling my life +with gloom and annihilating me? Would it not be odious and vile to +accuse her of such a fall, without any proofs or any clue, and would she +ever forget such an insult?</p> + +<p>I almost envied those unfortunate wretches who had the right to be +jealous, who had to fight against a woman's coquettes and light +behavior, and who had to defend their honor that was threatened by some +poacher on the preserves of love. They had a target to aim at; they knew +their enemies and knew what they were doing, while I was wounding in a +land of terrible mirages, was struggling in the midst of vague +suppositions, and was causing my own troubles and was enraged with her +past, which was, I felt sure, as white and pure as any bridal veil.</p> + +<p>Ah! It would be better to blow my brains out, I thought to myself, than +to prolong such a situation! I had had enough of it. I scarcely lived, +and I wished to know all that Elaine had done before we became engaged. +I wanted to know whether I was the first or the second, and I determined +to know it, even if I had to sacrifice years of my life in inquiry, and +to lower myself to compromising words and acts, and to every species of +artifice and to spend everything that I possessed!</p> + +<p>She might believe whatever she liked, for after all, I should only laugh +at it. We might have been so happy, and there were so many who envied +me, and who would gladly have consented to take my place!</p> + + +<h3>PART XI</h3> + +<p>I no longer knew where I was going, but was like a train going at full +speed through a dense fog, and which in vain disturbs the perfect +silence of the sleeping country with its puffing and shrill whistles; +when the driver cannot distinguish the changing lights of the discs, nor +the signals, and when soon some terrible crash will send the train off +the rails, and the carriages will become a heap of ruins.</p> + +<p>I was afraid of going mad, and at times I asked myself whether any of my +family had shown any signs of mental aberration, and had been locked up +in a lunatic asylum, and whether the life of constant fast pleasures, of +turning night into day and of frequent violent emotions, that I had led +for years, had not at last affected my brain. If I had believed in +anything, and in the science of the occult, which haunts so many +restless brains, I should have imagined that some enemy was bewitching +me and laying invisible snares for me, that he was suggesting those +actions which were quite unworthy of the frank, upright and well-bred +man that I was, and was trying to destroy the happiness of which she and +I had dreamt.</p> + +<p>For a whole week I devoted myself to that hateful business of playing +the spy, and to those inquiries which were killing me. I had succeeded +in discovering the lady's maid who had been in Elaine's service before +we were married, and whom she loved as if she had been her foster +sister, who used to accompany her whenever she went out, when she went +to visit the poor and when she went for a walk, who used to wake her +every morning, do her hair and dress her. She was young and rather +pretty, and one saw that Paris had improved her and given her a polish, +and that she knew her difficult business from end to end.</p> + +<p>I had found out, however, that her virtue was only apparent, especially +since she had changed employers; that she was fond of going to the +public balls, and that she divided her favors between a man who came +from her part of the country, and who was a sergeant in a dragoon +regiment, and a footman, and that she spent all her money on horse races +and on dress. I felt sure that I should be able to make her talk and get +the truth out of her, either by money or cunning, and so I asked her to +meet me early one morning in a quiet square.</p> + +<p>She listened to me first of all in astonishment, without replying yes or +no, as if she did not understand what I was aiming at, or with what +object I was asking her all these questions about her former mistress; +but when I offered her a few hundred francs to loosen her tongue, as I +was impatient to get the matter over and pretended to know that she had +managed interviews for Elaine with her lovers, that they were known and +being followed, that she was in the habit of frequenting quiet +bachelors' quarters, from which she returned late, the sly little wench +frowned angrily, shrugged her shoulders and exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"What pigs some men are to have such ideas, and cause such an excellent +person as Mademoiselle Elaine any unhappiness. Look here, you disgust me +with your banknotes and your dirty stories, and I don't choose to say +what you ought to wear on your head!"</p> + +<p>She turned her back on me and hurried off, and her insolence, that +indignant reply which she had given me, rejoiced me to the depths of my +heart, like soothing balm that lulls the pain.</p> + +<p>I should have liked to have called her back, and told her that it was +all a joke, that I was devotedly in love with my wife, that I was always +on the watch to hear her praised, but she was already out of sight, and +I felt that I was ridiculous and mean, that I had lowered myself by what +I had done, and I swore that I would profit by such a humiliating +lesson, and for the future show myself to Elaine as the trusting and +ardent husband that she deserved, and I thought myself cured, altogether +cured....</p> + +<p>And yet, I was again the prey to the same bad thoughts, to the same +doubts, and persuaded that that girl had lied to me just like all other +women lie when they are on the defensive, that she made fun of me, that +perhaps <i>some one</i> had foreseen this scene and had told her what to say +and made sure of her silence, just as her complicity had been gained. +Thus I shall always knock up against some barrier, and struggle in this +wretched darkness, and this mire from which I cannot extricate myself!</p> + + +<h3>PART XII</h3> + +<p>Nobody knew anything. Neither the Superior of the Convent where she had +been brought up until she was sixteen, nor the servants who had waited +on her, nor the governesses who had finished her education, could +remember that Elaine had been difficult to check or teach, or that she +had had any other ideas than those of her age. She had certainly shown +no precocious coquetry and disquieting instincts; she had had no +equivocal cousinly relationships, when if the bridle is left on their +neck at all, and one of them has learned at school what love is, the two +big children yield to the fatal law of sex, and begin the inevitable +eclogue of Daphne and Chole over again.</p> + +<p>However, Oh! I felt it too much for it to be nothing but a chimera and a +mirage, it was no <i>virgin</i> who threw her arms round my neck so lovingly, +and who returned my first kisses so <i>deliciously</i>, who was attracted by +my society, who gave no signs of surprise and uttered no complaint, who +appeared to forget everything when in my society. No, no, a thousand +times no, that could not have been a pure woman.</p> + +<p>I ought to have cast off that intoxication which was bewitching me, and +to have rushed out of the room where such a lie was being consummated; I +ought to have profited by her moments of amiable weakness, while she was +incapable of collecting her thoughts, when she would with tears have +confessed an old fault, for which the unhappy girl had not, perhaps, +been altogether responsible. Perhaps by my entreaties, or even perhaps +by violence, in terror at my furious looks, when my features would have +been distorted by rage, and my hands clenched in spite of myself in a +gesture of menace and of murder, I might have forced her to open her +heart, to show me its defilement, and to tell me this sad love episode.</p> + +<p>How do I know whether her disconsolateness might not have moved me to +pity, whether I should not have wept with her at the heavy cross that we +both of us had to bear, whether I should not have forgiven her and +opened my arms wide, so that she might have thrown herself into them +like into a peaceful refuge?</p> + +<p>Would not any man, or vicious collegian on the lookout for innocent +girls, have perceived her nervousness, her vice? Would he not have +hypnotized her, as it were, by amorous touches, by skillful caresses and +reduced her to the absolute passiveness of an animal, who had been taken +unawares, without any care for the morrow, or what the consequences of +such a fault might be?</p> + +<p>Or was I completely her dupe and the dupe of a villain? Had she loved, +and did she still love the man who had first possessed her, who had been +her first lover? Who could tell me, or come to my aid? Who could give me +the proofs, the real, undeniable proofs, either that I was an infamous +wretch to suspect Elaine, whom I ought to have worshiped with my eyes +shut, or that she was guilty, that she had lied, and that I had the +right to cast her out of my life and to treat her like a worthless +woman!</p> + + +<h3>PART XIII</h3> + +<p>If I had married when I was quite young, before I had wallowed in the +mire of Paris, from which one can never afterwards free oneself, for +heart and body both retain indelible marks of it, if I had not been the +plaything of a score of mistresses, who disgusted me with belief in any +woman, if I had not been weaned from supreme illusions, and surfeited +with everything to the marrow, should I have these abominable ideas?</p> + +<p>I waited almost until I was beginning to decline in life, before I took +the right path and sought refuge in port; before going to what is pure +and virtuous, and before listening to the continual advice of those who +love me, I passed too suddenly from those lies, from those ephemeral +enjoyments, from that satiety which depraves us, from vice in which one +tries to acquire renewed strength and vigor, and to discover some new +and unknown sensation, to the pure sentimentalities of an engagement, to +the unspeakable delights of a life that was common to two, to that kind +of amorous first communion which ought to constitute married life.</p> + +<p>If, instead of getting involved in an engagement and forming any +resolution so quickly, as I had been afraid that somebody else would be +beforehand with me and to rob me of Elaine's heart, or of relapsing into +my former habits, if instead of lacking moral strength and character +enough, in case I might have had to wait, if I had backed out without +entering into any engagement and without having bound my life to that of +the adorable girl whom chance had thrown in my way, it would surely have +been far better if I had waited, prepared myself, questioned myself, and +accustomed myself to that metamorphosis; if I had purified myself and +forgotten the past, like in those retreats which precede the solemn +ceremony, when pious souls pronounce their indissoluble vows?</p> + +<p>The reaction had been too sudden and violent for such a convalescent as +I was. I worked myself up, and pictured to myself something so white, so +virginal, so paradisical, such complete ignorance, such unconquerable +modesty and such delicious awkwardness, that Elaine's gayety, her +unconstraint, her fearlessness, and her passionate kisses bewildered me, +roused my suspicions and filled me with anguish.</p> + +<p>And yet I know how all, or nearly all, girls are educated in these days, +and that the ignorant, simple ones only exist on the stage, and I know +also that they hear and learn too many things both at home and in +society, not to have the intuition of the results of love.</p> + +<p>Elaine loves me with all her heart, for she has told me so time after +time, and she repeats it to me more ardently than ever when I take her +into my arms and appear happy. She must have seen that her beauty had, +in a manner, converted me; that in order to possess her I had renounced +many seductions and a long life of enjoyment; and, perhaps, she would no +longer please me if she was <i>too much of the little girl</i>, and that she +would appear ridiculous to me if she showed her fears by any entreaty, +and gesture, or any sigh.</p> + +<p>As the people in the South say, she would have acted the brave woman, +and boasted, so that no complaint might betray her, and have imparted +the wild tenderness of a jealous heart to her kisses, and have attempted +a struggle, which would certainly have been useless, against those +recollections of mine, with which she thought I must be filled, in spite +of myself.</p> + +<p>I accused myself, so that I might no longer accuse her. I studied my +malady; I knew quite well that I was wrong, and I wished to be wrong, I +measured the stupidity and the disgrace of such suspicions, and, +nevertheless, in spite of everything, they assailed me again, watched me +traitorously and I was carried away and devoured by them.</p> + +<p>Ah! Was there in the whole world, even among the most wretched beggars +that were dying of starvation, whom nature squeezes in a vice, as it +were, or among the victims of love, anybody who could say that he was +more wretched than I?</p> + + +<h3>PART XIV</h3> + +<p>This morning Count de Saulnac, who was lunching here, told us a terrible +story of a rape, for which a man is to be tried in a few days.</p> + +<p>A charming girl of eighteen grew languid, and became so pale and morose, +her cheeks were so wax-like, her eyes so sunken and she had altogether +such a look of anemia, that her parents grew uneasy and took her to a +doctor who lived near them. He examined her carefully, said vaguely what +was the matter with her, spoke of an illness that required assiduous +care and attention, and advised the worthy couple to bring the poor girl +to him every day for a month.</p> + +<p>As they were not well off enough to keep a servant, and each had their +work to attend to, the husband as an employee in a public office and his +wife as cashier in a milliner's shop, and did not dream of any evil, and +were further reassured by the charitable, unctuous and austere looks of +the doctor, they allowed their daughter to go and consult him by +herself.</p> + +<p>The old man made much of her, tried to make her get over her shyness, +adroitly made her tell him all about her usual life, took a long time in +sounding her chest, helped her to dress and undress, in a very paternal +way, gave her a potion and was so thoughtful and caressing, that the +poor girl blushed and felt quite uncomfortable at it all. He soon saw +that he should obtain nothing from her innocence, but that she would +resist his slightest attempts at improper familiarity, and as he was +extremely taken with the delicate and amusing girl, and with her +charming person, the wretch sent her to sleep with a few magnetic +passes, and outraged her.</p> + +<p>She awoke without being conscious of what had happened, and only felt +rather more listless than usual, like she used to do when there was +thunder in the air. From that time, the doctor put longer intervals +between her visits, and soon, after having prescribed insignificant +remedies for her, he told her that she was quite cured, and that there +was no occasion for her to come and see him any more. Two months passed, +and the girl, who at first had seemed much better and more lively, +relapsed into a state of prostration which had so alarmed them, dragged +herself about more than she walked, and seemed to be succumbing under +some heavy burden.</p> + +<p>As they had not paid the old doctor's bill, and as they were afraid that +he would ask them for it if they went to see him again, her father took +the girl to Beaujon, and they thought that he should have gone mad with +despair and shame when one of the house-surgeons, without mincing his +words, told them in a chaffing manner, that she was in the family way.</p> + +<p><i>In the family way!</i> What did he mean by that? And by whom?</p> + +<p>They were small, thoroughly respectable and upright shopkeepers, and +this made them cruel. They tormented the poor girl, to make her +acknowledge her fault and tell them the name of her seducer. It was of +no use for her to bemoan herself, to throw herself at their feet, to +tear her hair in desperation, and to swear that no man in the world had +ever touched her lips; in vain, did she exclaim indignantly that it was +impossible that such a dreadful thing could be; that the man had made a +mistake or was joking with them. In vain, did she try to calm them, and +to soften them by her entreaties; they turned away their heads, and had +only one reply to make:</p> + +<p>"His name, his name!"</p> + +<p>When she saw that her figure was altering, she was at length undeceived, +and became like an imprisoned animal, did not speak and cowered +motionless in the darkest corners, and did not even rebel at the blows, +which marked her pale, passive face. She carefully thought over every +minute in the past few months, and did her utmost to fill up the voids +in her memory, and at last she guessed who the guilty person was.</p> + +<p>Then, in despair, she scribbled on a scrap of paper:</p> + +<p>"I swear to you, my dear parents, that I have nothing to reproach myself +with. The old doctor treated me so strangely, that I often felt inclined +to run out of the consulting room. One day he put me to sleep, and +perhaps it was he who...."</p> + +<p>And not having the courage to finish the lamentable sentence, she went +and drowned herself, and the parents had the doctor, who had forgotten +all about that old story, arrested, and in his examination he confessed +the crime....</p> + +<p>With an evil look on her face, such as I have never seen before, and +with vibrating nostrils, Elaine exclaimed in a hard voice:</p> + +<p>"To think that such a monster was not sent to the guillotine!"</p> + +<p><i>Can she also have suffered the same thing?</i></p> + + +<h3>PART XV</h3> + +<p>But unless Elaine was a monster of wickedness, unless she had no heart +and knew how to lie and to deceive as well as a girl whose only pleasure +consists in making all those who are captivated by her beauty, play the +laughable part of dupes, unless that mask of youth concealed a most +polluted soul, if there had been any unhappy episode in her life, if she +had endured the horrors of violation, and gone through all the horrors +of desolation, fear and shame, would not something visible, something +disgusting, attacks of low spirits, and of gloom, and disgust with +everything have remained, which would have shown the progress of some +mysterious malady, the gradual weakening of the brain and the +enlargement of an incurable wound?</p> + +<p>She would have cried occasionally, would have been lost in thought and +become confused when spoken to, she would scarcely have taken any +interest in anything that happened, either at home or elsewhere. Kisses +would have become torture to her, and would have only excited a fever of +revolt in her inanimate being.</p> + +<p>I fancy that I can see such a victim of inexorable Destiny, as if she +were a consumptive woman whose days are numbered, and who knows it. She +smiles feebly when any one tries to get her out of her torpor, to amuse +her and to instill a little hope into her soul. She does not speak, but +remains sitting silently at a window for whole days together, and one +might think that her large, dreamy eyes are looking at strange sights in +the depths of the sky, and see a long, attractive road there. But +Elaine, on the contrary, thought of nothing but of amusing herself, of +enjoying life and of laughing, and added all the tricks of a girl who +has just left school, to her seductive grace of a young woman. She +carried men away with her; she was most seductive, and loving seemed to +be her creation. She thought of nothing but of little coquettish acts +that made her more adorable, and of tender innuendos that triumph over +everything, that bring men to their knees and tempt them.</p> + +<p>It was thus that I formerly dreamt of the woman who was to be my wife, +and this was the manner in which I looked on life in common; and now +this perpetual joy irritates me like a challenge, like some piece of +insolent boasting, and those lips that seek mine, and which offer +themselves so alluringly and coaxingly to me, make me sad and torture +me, as if they breathed nothing but a Lie.</p> + +<p>Ah! If she had been the lover of another man before marriage, if she had +belonged to some one else besides me, it could only have been from love, +without altogether knowing what she wanted or what she was doing! And, +now, because she had acquired a name by marriage, because she had +accidentally extricated herself from that false step and thought she had +won the game, now that she fancied that I had not perceived anything, +that I adored her and possessed her absolutely!</p> + +<p>How wretched I was! Should I never be able to escape from that night +which was growing darker and darker, which was imprisoning me, driving +me mad and raising an increasing and impenetrable barrier between Elaine +and me. Would not she, in the end, be the stronger, she whom I loved so +dearly, would not she envelope me in so much love, that at last I should +again find the happiness that I had lost, as if it were a calm, sunlit +haven, and thus forget this horrible nightmare when I fell on my knees +before her beauty, with a contrite heart and pricked by remorse, and +happy to give myself to her for ever, altogether and more passionately +than at the divine period of our betrothal.</p> + + +<h3>PART XVI</h3> + +<p>Even the sight of our bedroom became painful to me. I was frightened of +it; I was uncomfortable there, and felt a kind of repulsion in going +there. It seemed to me as if Elaine were repeating a part that someone +else had taught her, and I almost hoped that in a moment of +forgetfulness she would allow her secret to escape her, and pronounce +some name that was not mine, and I used to keep awake, with my ears on +the alert, in the hope that she might betray herself in her sleep and +murmur some revealing word, as she recalled the past, and my temples +throbbed and my whole body trembled with excitement.</p> + +<p>But when this was over and I saw her sleeping peacefully as a little +girl who was tired with playing, with parted lips and disheveled hair, +and measured the full extent of the stupidity of my hatred and the +sacrilegious madness of my jealousy, my heart softened and I fell into +such a state of profound and absolute distress that I thought I should +have died of it, and large drops of cold perspiration ran down my cheeks +and tears fell from my eyes, and I got up, so that my sobs might not +disturb her rest and wake her.</p> + +<p>As this could not continue, however, I told her one day that I felt so +exhausted and ill that I should prefer to sleep in my own room. She +appeared to believe me and merely said:</p> + +<p>"As you please, my dear!" but her blue eyes suddenly assumed such an +anxious, such a grieved look, that I turned my head aside, so as not to +see them....</p> + + +<h3>PART XVII</h3> + +<p>I was again in the old house, <i>and without her</i>, in the old house where +Elaine used to spend all her holidays, in the room whose shutters had +not been opened since our departure, seven months ago.</p> + +<p>Why did I go there, where the calm of the country, the silence of the +solitude and my recollections, irritated me and recalled my trouble, +where I suffered even more than I did in Paris, and where I thought of +Elaine every moment I seemed to see her and to hear her, in a species of +hallucination.</p> + +<p>What did her letters that I had taken out of her writing table, which +she had used as a girl, what did her ball cards which were stuck round +her looking glass, in which she used to admire herself formerly, what +did her dresses, her dressing gowns, and the dusty furniture whose +repose my trembling hands violated, tell me? Nothing, and always +nothing.</p> + +<p>At table, I used to speak with the worthy couple who had never left the +mansion and who appeared to look upon themselves as its second masters, +with the apparent good nature of a man who was in love with his wife and +who wished only to speak about her, who took an interest in the smallest +detail of her childhood and youth, with all the jovial familiarity which +encourages peasants to talk, and when a few glasses of white wine had +loosened their tongues they would talk about her, whom they loved as if +she had been their child, and at other times I used to question the +farmers, when they came to settle their accounts.</p> + +<p>Had Elaine the bridle on her neck like so many girls had; did she like +the country, were the peasants fond of her, and did she show any +preference for one or the other? Were many people invited for the +shooting, and did she visit much with the other ladies in the +neighborhood?</p> + +<p>And they drank with their elbows resting on the table in front of me, +uttered her praises in a voice as monotonous as a spinning wheel, lost +themselves in endless, senseless chatter which made me yawn in spite of +myself, and told me her girlish tricks which certainly did not disclose +what was haunting me, the traces of that first love, that perilous +flirtation, that foolish escapade in which Elaine might have been +seduced.</p> + +<p>Old and young men and women, spoke of her with something like devotion, +and all said how kind and charitable she was, and as merry as a bird on +a bright day; they said she pitied their wretchedness and their +troubles, and was still the young girl in spite of her long dresses, and +fearing nothing, while even the animals loved her.</p> + +<p>She was almost always alone, and was never troubled with any companions; +she seemed to shun the house, hide herself in the park when the bell +announced some unexpected visits, and when one of her aunts, Madame de +Pleissac, said to her one day:</p> + +<p>"Do you think that you will ever find a husband with your stand-offish +manners?"</p> + +<p>She replied with a burst of laughter:</p> + +<p>"Oh! Very well, then, Auntie, I shall do without one!"</p> + +<p>She had never given a hand to spiteful chatter or to slander, and had +not flirted with the best looking young man in the neighborhood, any +more than she had with the officers who stayed at the <i>château</i> during +the maneuver, or the neighbors, who came to see her parents. And some of +them even old men, whom years of work had bent like vine-stalks and had +tanned like the leather bottles which are used by caravans in the East, +used to say with tears in their dim eyes:</p> + +<p>"Ah! When you married our young lady, we all said that there would not +be a happier man in the whole world than you!"</p> + +<p>Ought I to have believed them? Were they not simple, frank souls, who +were ignorant of wiles and of lies, who had no interest in deceiving me, +who had lived near Elaine while she was growing up and becoming a woman, +and who had been familiar with her?</p> + +<p>Could I be the only one who doubted Elaine, the only one who accused her +and suspected her, I who loved her so madly, I, whose only hope, only +desire, only happiness she was? May heaven guide me on this bad road on +which I have lost my way, where I am calling for help and where my +misery is increasing every day, and grant me the infinite pleasure of +being able to enjoy her caresses without any ill feeling, and to be able +to love her, as she loves me. And if I must expiate my old faults, and +this infamous doubt which I am ashamed of not being immediately able to +cast from me, if I must pay for my unmerited happiness with usury, I +hope that I may be given to death as a prey, only provided that I might +belong to her, idolize her, believe in her kisses, believe in her beauty +and in her love, for one hour, for even a few moments!</p> + + +<h3>PART XVIII</h3> + +<p>To-day I suddenly remembered a funny evening which I spent when I was a +bachelor, at Madame d'Ecoussens, where all of us, some with secret and +insurmountable agony, and others with absolute indifference, went into +one of the small rooms where a female professor of palmistry, who was +then in vogue, and whose name I have forgotten, had installed herself.</p> + +<p>When it came to my turn to sit opposite to her, as if I had been going +to make my confession, she took my hands into her long, slender fingers, +felt them, squeezed them and triturated them, as if they had been a lump +of wax, which she was about to model into shape.</p> + +<p>Severely dressed in black, with a pensive face, thin lips and almost +copper-colored eyes and neither young nor old, this woman had something +commanding, imperious, disturbing about her, and I must confess that my +heart beat more violently than usual while she looked at the lines in my +left hand through a strong magnifying glass, where the mysterious +characters of some satanic conjuring look appear, and form a capital M.</p> + +<p>She was interesting, occasionally discovered fragments of my past and +gave mysterious hints, as if her looks were following the strange roads +of Destiny in those unequal, confused curves. She told me in brief words +that I should have and had had some opportunities, that I was wasting my +physical, more than my moral strength in all kinds of love affairs that +did not last long, and that the day when I really loved, or when, to +use her expression, I was fairly caught, would be to me the prelude of +intense sufferings, a real way of the Cross and of an illness of which I +should never be cured. Then, as she examined my line of life, that which +surrounds the thick part of the thumb, the lady in black suddenly grew +gloomy, frowned and appeared to hesitate to go on to the end and +continue my horoscope, and said very quickly:</p> + +<p>"Your line of life is magnificent, monsieur; you will live to be sixty +at least, but take care not to spend it too freely or to use it +immoderately; beware of strong emotions and of any passional crisis, for +I remark a gap there in the full vigor of your age, and that gap, that +incurable malady which I mentioned to you, in the line of your +heart...."</p> + +<p>I mastered myself, in order not to smile, and took my leave of her, but +everything that she foretold has been realized, and I dare not look at +that sinister gap which she saw in my line of life, <i>for that gap can +only mean madness</i>!</p> + +<p>Madness, my poor, dear adored Elaine!</p> + + +<h3>PART XIX</h3> + +<p>I became as bad and spiteful as if the spirit of hatred had possession +of me, and envied those whose life was too happy, and who had no cares +to trouble them. I could not conceal my pleasure when one of those +domestic dramas occurred, in which hearts bleed and are broken, in which +odious treachery and bitter sufferings are brought to light.</p> + +<p>Divorce proceedings with their miserable episodes, with the wranglings +of the lawyers and all the unhappiness that they revealed and which +exposed the vanity of dreams, the tricks of women, the lowness of some +minds, the foul animal that sits and slumbers in most hearts, attracted +me like a delightful play, a piece which rivets one from the first to +the last act. I listened greedily to passionate letters, those mad +prayers whose secrets some lawyer violates and which he reads aloud in a +mocking tone, and which he gives pell-mell to the bench and to the +public, who have come to be amused or excited and to stare at the +victims of love.</p> + +<p>I followed those romances of adultery which were unfolded chapter by +chapter, in their brutal reality, of things that had actually occurred, +and for the first time I forgot my own unhappiness in them. Sometimes +the husband and wife were there, as if they wished to defy each other, +to meet in some last encounter, and pale and feverish they watched each +other, devoured each other with their eyes, hiding their grief and their +misery. Sometimes again, the lover or the mistress were there and tore +their gloves in their rage, wishing to rush at the bar to defend their +love, to bring forward accusations in their turn, and would tell the +advocate that he was lying, and would threaten him and revile him with +all their indignant nature. Friends, however, would restrain them, would +whisper something to them in a low voice, press their hands like after a +funeral, and try to appease them.</p> + +<p>It seemed to me, as if I were looking at a heap of ruins, or breathing +in the odor of an ambulance, in which dying men were groaning, and that +those unhappy people were assuaging my trouble somewhat, and taking +their share of it.</p> + +<p>I used to read the advertisements in the Agony Columns in the +newspapers, where the same exalted phrases used to recur, where I read +the same despairing <i>adieux</i>, earnest requests for a meeting, echoes of +past affection, and vain vows; and all this relieved me, vaguely +appeased me, and made me think less about myself, that hateful, +incurable <i>I</i> which I longed to destroy!</p> + + +<h3>PART XX</h3> + +<p>As the heat was very oppressive, and there was not a breath of wind, +after dinner she wanted to go for a drive in the <i>Bois de Boulogne</i> and +we drove in the victoria towards the bridge at Suresne.</p> + +<p>It was getting late, and the dark drives looked like deserted +labyrinths, and cool retreats where one would have liked to have stopped +late, where the very rustle of the leaves seems to whisper amorous +temptations, and there was seduction in the softness of the air and in +the infinite music of the silence.</p> + +<p>Occasionally, lights were to be seen among the trees, and the crescent +of the new moon shone like a half-opened gold bracelet in the serene +sky, and the green sward, the copses and the small lakes, which gave an +uncertain reflection of the surrounding objects, came into sight +suddenly, out of the shade, and the intoxicating smell of the hay and of +the flower beds rose from the earth as if from a sachet.</p> + +<p>We did not speak, but the jolts of the carriage occasionally brought us +quite close together, and as if I were being attracted by some +irresistible force, I turned to Elaine and saw that her eyes were +filled with tears, and that she was very pale, and my whole body +trembled when I looked at her. Suddenly, as if she could not bear this +state of affairs any longer, she threw her arms round my neck, and with +her lips almost touching mine, she said:</p> + +<p>"Why do you not love me any longer? Why do you make me so unhappy? What +have I done to you, Jacques?"</p> + +<p>She was at my mercy, she was undergoing the influence of the charm of +one of those moonlight nights which unbrace women's nerves, make them +languid, and leave them without a will and without strength, and I +thought that she was going to tell me everything and to confess +everything to me, and I had to master myself, not to kiss her on her +sweet coaxing lips, but I only replied coldly:</p> + +<p>"Do you not know, Elaine?... Did you not think that sooner or later I +should discover everything that you have been trying to hide from me?"</p> + +<p>She sat up in terror, and repeated as if she were in a profound stupor:</p> + +<p>"What have I been trying to hide from you?"</p> + +<p>I had said too much, and was bound to go on to the end and to finish, +even though I repented of it ever afterwards, and amidst the noise of +the carriage I said in a hoarse voice:</p> + +<p>"Is it not your fault if I have become estranged from you, shall not I +be the only one to be unhappy, I who loved you so dearly, who believed +in you, and whom you have deceived, and condemned to take another man's +mistress?"</p> + +<p>Elaine closed my mouth with my fingers, and panting, with dilated eyes +and with such a pale face that I thought she was going to faint, she +said hoarsely:</p> + +<p>"Be quiet, be quiet, you are frightening me,... frightening me as if you +were a madman...."</p> + +<p>Those words froze me, and I shivered as if some phantoms were appearing +among the trees and showing me the place that had been marked out for me +by Destiny, and I felt inclined to jump from the carriage and to run to +the river, which was calling to me yonder in a maternal voice, and +inviting me to an eternal sleep, eternal repose, but Elaine called out +to the coachman:</p> + +<p>"We will go home, Firmin; drive as fast as you can!"</p> + +<p>We did not exchange another word, and during the whole drive Elaine +sobbed convulsively, though she tried to hide the sound with her pocket +handkerchief, and I understood that it was all finished <i>and that I had +killed our love</i>....</p> + + +<h3>PART XXI</h3> + +<p>Yes, all was finished and stupidly finished, without the decisive +explanation, in which I should find strength to escape from a hateful +yoke, and to repudiate the woman who had allured me with false caresses, +and who no longer ought to bear my name.</p> + +<p>It was either that, or else, who knows, the happiness, the peace, the +love which was not troubled by any evil afterthoughts, that absolute +love that I dreamt of between Elaine and myself when I asked for her +hand, and which I was still continually dreaming of with the despair of +a condemned soul far from Paradise, and from which I was suffering, and +which would kill me.</p> + +<p>She prevented me from speaking; with her trembling hand she checked +that flow of frenzied words which were about to come from my pained +heart, those terrible accusations which an imperious, resistless force +incited me to utter, and those terrified words which escaped from her +pale lips, froze me again, and penetrated to my marrow as if they had +been some piercing wind.</p> + +<p>In spite of it all, I was in full possession of my reason, I was not in +a passion, and I could not have looked like a fool.</p> + +<p>What could she have seen unusual in my eyes that frightened her, what +inflections were there in my voice for such an idea suddenly to arise in +her brain? Suppose she had not make a mistake, suppose I no longer knew +what I was saying nor what I was doing, and really had that terrible +malady that she had mentioned, and which I cannot repeat!</p> + +<p>It seems to me now as if I could see myself in a mirror of anguish, +altogether changed, as if my head were a complete void at times and +became something sonorous, and then was struck violent, prolonged blows +from a heavy clapper, as if it had been a bell, which fills it with +tumultuous deafening vibrations, from a kind of loud tocsin and from +monotonous peals, that were succeeded by the silence of the grave.</p> + +<p>And the voice of recollection, a voice which tells me Elaine's +mysterious history, which speaks to me only of her, which recalls that +initial night, that strange night of happiness and of grief, when I +doubted her fidelity, when I doubted her heart as well as I did herself, +passes slowly through this silence all at once, like the voice of +distant music.</p> + +<p>Alas! Suppose she had not made a mistake!</p> + + +<h3>PART XXII</h3> + +<p>I must be an object of hatred to her, and I left home without writing +her a line, without trying to see her, without wishing her good-bye. She +may pity me or she may hate me, but she certainly does not love me any +longer, and I have myself buried that love, for which I would formerly +have given my whole life. As she is young and pretty, however, Elaine +will soon console herself for these passing troubles with some soul that +is the shadow of her own, and will replace me, if she has not done that +already, and will seek happiness in adultery.</p> + +<p>What are she and her lover plotting? What will they try to do to prevent +me from interfering with them? What snares will they set for me so that +I may go and end my miserable life in some dungeon, from which there is +no release?</p> + +<p>But that is impossible; it can never be; Elaine belongs to me altogether +and forever; she is my property, my chattel, my happiness. I adore her, +I want her all to myself, <i>even though she be guilty</i>, and I will never +leave her again for a moment, I will still stick to her petticoats, I +will roll at her feet, and ask her pardon, for I thirst for her kisses +and her love.</p> + +<p>To-night in a few hours, I shall be with her, I shall go into <i>our</i> room +and lie in <i>our</i> bed, and I will cover the cheeks of my fair-haired +darling with such kisses, that she will no longer think me mad, and if +she cries out, if she defends herself and spurns me, I shall kill her; I +have made up my mind to that.</p> + +<p>I know that I shall strike her with the Arab knife that is on one of the +console-tables, in our room among other knick-knacks. I see the spot +where I shall plunge in the sharp blade, into the nape of her neck, +which is covered with little soft pale golden curls, that are the same +color as the hair of her head. It attracted me so at one time, during +the chaste period of our engagement, that I used to wish to bite it, as +if it had been some fruit. I shall do it some day in the country, when +she is bathed in a ray of sunlight, which makes her look dazzling in her +pink muslin dress, some day on a towing-path, when the nightingales are +singing, and the dragonflies, with their reflections of blue and silver +are flying about.</p> + +<p>There, there, I shall skillfully plunge it in up to the hilt, like those +who know how to kill....</p> + + +<h3>PART XXIII</h3> + +<p>And after I had killed her, what then?</p> + +<p>As the judges would not be able to explain such an extraordinary crime +to themselves, they would of course say that I was mad, medical men +would examine me and would immediately agree that I ought at once to be +kept under supervision, taken care of and placed in a lunatic asylum.</p> + +<p>And for years, perhaps, because I was strong, and because such a +vigorous animal would survive the calamity intact, although my intellect +might give way, I should remain a prey to these chimeras, carry that +fixed idea of her lies, her impurity and her shame about with me, that +would be my one recollection, and I should suffer unceasingly.</p> + +<p>I am writing all this perfectly coolly and in full possession of my +reason; I have perfect prescience of what my resolve entails, and of +this blind rush towards death. I feel that my very minutes are numbered, +and that I no longer have anything in my skull, in which some fire, +though I do not quite know what it is, is burning, except a few +particles of what used to be my brain.</p> + +<p>Just as a short time ago, I should certainly have murdered Elaine, if +she had been with me, when invisible hands seemed to be pushing me +towards her, inaudible voices ordered me to commit that murder, it is +surely most probable that I shall have another crisis, and will there be +any awakening from that?</p> + +<p>Ah! It will be a thousand times better, since Destiny has left me a +half-open door, to escape from life before it is too late, before the +free, sane, strong man that I am at present, becomes the most pitiable, +the most destructive, the most dangerous of human wrecks!</p> + +<p>May all these notes of my misery fall into Elaine's hands some day, may +she read them to the end, pity and absolve me, and for a long time mourn +for me!</p> + +<p><i>(Here ends Jacques' Journal.)</i></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="AN_UNFORTUNATE_LIKENESS" id="AN_UNFORTUNATE_LIKENESS"></a>AN UNFORTUNATE LIKENESS</h2> + + +<p>During one of those sudden changes of the electric light, which at one +time throws rays of exquisite pale pink, at another a liquid gold, as if +it had been filtered through the light hair of a woman, and at another, +rays of a bluish hue with strange tints, such as the sky assumes at +twilight, in which the women with their bare shoulders looked like +living flowers—it was on the night of the first of January at +Montonirail's, the refined painter of great undulating <i>poses</i> figures, +of brilliant dresses, of Parisian prettiness—that tall Pescarelle, whom +some called <i>Pussy</i>, though I do not know why, suddenly said in a low +voice:</p> + +<p>"Well, people were not altogether mistaken, in fact, were only half +wrong when they coupled my name with that of pretty Lucy Plonelle. She +had captivated my heart, just as a bird-catcher on a frosty morning +catches an imprudent wren on a limed twig, and she might have done +whatever she liked with me.</p> + +<p>"I was under the charm of her enigmatical and mocking smile, where her +teeth had a cruel look between her red lips, and glistened as if they +were ready to bite and to heighten the pleasure of the most delightful, +the most voluptuous kiss, by pain.</p> + +<p>"I loved everything in her, her feline suppleness, her slow looks, which +seemed to glide from her half-closed lids, full of promises and +temptation, her somewhat extreme elegance, and her hands, her long, +delicate, white hands, with blue veins, like the bloodless hands of a +female saint in a stained glass window, and her slender fingers, on +which only the large drops of blood of a ruby glittered.</p> + +<p>"I would have given her all my remaining youth and vigor to have laid my +burning hands onto the nape of her cool round neck, and to feel that +bright, silky, golden mane enveloping me and caressing my skin. I was +never tired of hearing her disdainful, petulant voice, those vibrations +which sounded as if they proceeded from clear glass, and that music, +which at times, became hoarse, harsh and fierce, like the loud, sonorous +calls of the Valkyries.</p> + +<p>"Oh! Good heavens! to be her lover, to be her chattel, to belong to her, +to devote one's whole existence to her, to spend one's last half-penny +and to go under in misery, only to have the glory, the happiness of +possessing the splendid beauty, the sweetness of her kisses, the pink, +and the white of her demon-like soul all to myself, were it only for a +few months!</p> + +<p>"It makes you laugh, I know, to think that I should have been caught +like that, I who give such good, prudent advice to my friends, who fear +love as I do those quicksands and shoals which appear at low tide and in +which one is swallowed up and disappears!</p> + +<p>"But who can answer for himself, who can defend himself against such a +danger, against the magnetic attraction that comes from such a woman? +Nevertheless, I got cured, and perfectly cured, and that, quite +accidentally, and this is how the enchantment, which was apparently so +infrangible, was broken.</p> + +<p>"On the first night of a play, I was sitting in the stalls close to +Lucy, whose mother had accompanied her, as usual, and they occupied the +front of a box, side by side. From some insurmountable attraction, I +never ceased looking at the woman whom I loved with all the force of my +being. I feasted my eyes on her beauty, I saw nobody except her in the +theater, and did not listen to the piece that was being performed on the +stage.</p> + +<p>"Suddenly, however, I felt as if I had received a blow from a dagger in +my heart, and I had an insane hallucination. Lucy had moved and her +pretty head was in profile, in the same attitude and with the same lines +as her mother. I do not know what shadow, or what play of light had +hardened and altered the color of her delicate features and destroyed +their ideal prettiness, but the more I looked at them both, the one who +was young, and the one who was old, the greater that distressing +resemblance became.</p> + +<p>"I saw Lucy growing older and older, striving against those accumulating +years which bring wrinkles in the face, produce a double chin and crow's +feet, and spoil the mouth. <i>They almost looked like twins.</i></p> + +<p>"I suffered so that I almost thought I should have gone mad, and, in +spite of myself, instead of shaking off this feeling and make my escape +out of the theater, far away into the noise and life on the boulevards, +I persisted in looking at the other, at the old one, in scanning her +over, in judging her, in dissecting her with my eyes; I got excited over +her flabby cheeks, over those ridiculous dimples, that were half-filled +up, over that treble chin, that hair which must have been dyed, those +eyes which had no more brightness in them, and that nose which was a +caricature of Lucy's beautiful, attractive little nose.</p> + +<p>"I had the prescience of the future. I loved her, and I should love her +more and more every day, that little sorceress who had so despotically +and so quickly conquered me. I should not allow any participation or any +intrigue from the day she gave herself to me, and when once we had been +so intimately connected, who could tell whether, just as I was defending +myself against it most, the legitimate termination—marriage—might not +come?</p> + +<p>"Why not give one's name to a woman whom one loves, and of whom one is +sure? The reason was, that I should be tied to a disfigured, ugly +creature with whom I should not venture to be seen in public, as my +friends would leer at her with laughter in their eyes, and with pity in +their hearts for the man who was accompanying those remains."</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>"And so, as soon as the curtain had fallen, without saying good-day or +good-evening, I had myself driven to the <i>Moulin Rouge</i>, and there I +picked up the first woman I came across, and remained in her company +until late next day."</p> + +<p>"Well," Florise d'Anglet exclaimed, "I shall never take Mamma to the +theater with me again, for men are really getting too mad!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_NEW_SENSATION" id="THE_NEW_SENSATION"></a>THE NEW SENSATION</h2> + + +<p>That little Madame d'Ormonde certainly had the devil in her, but above +all, a fantastic, baffling brain, through which the most unheard of +caprices passed, in which ideas danced and jostled each other, like +those pieces of different colored glass in a kaleidoscope, which form +such strange figures when they have been shaken, in which <i>Parisine</i> was +fermenting to such an extent—you know, <i>Parisine</i>, the analysis of +which Roqueplan lately gave—that the most learned members of <i>The +Institute</i> would have wasted his science and his wisdom if he had tried +to follow her slips and her subterfuges.</p> + +<p>That was, very likely, the reason why she attracted, retained and +infatuated even those who had paid their debt to implacable love, who +thought that they were strong and free from those passions under the +influence of which men lose their heads, and that they were beyond the +reach of woman's perfidious snares. Or, perhaps, it was her small, soft, +delicate, white hands, which always smelled of some subtle, delicious +perfume, and whose small fingers men kissed almost with devotion, almost +with absolute pleasure. Or, was it her silky, golden hair, her large, +blue eyes, full of enigmas, of curiosity, of desire, her changeable +mouth, which was quite small and infantine at one moment, when she was +pouting, and smiling and as open as a rose that is unfolding in the sun, +when she opened it in a laugh, and showed her pearly teeth, so that it +became a target for kisses? Who will ever be able to explain that kind +of magic and sorcery which some <i>Chosen Women</i> exercise over all men, +that despotic authority, against which nobody would think of rebelling?</p> + +<p>Among the numerous men who had entreated her, who were anxiously waiting +for that wonderful moment when her heart would beat, when his mocking +companion would grow tired and abandon herself to the pleasure of loving +and of being loved, would become intoxicated with the honey of caresses, +and would no longer refuse her lips to kisses, like some restive animal +that fears the yoke, none had so made up his mind to win the game, and +to pursue this deceptive siege, as much as Xavier de Fontrailles. He +marched straight for his object with a patient energy and a strength of +will which no checks could weaken, and with the ardent fervor of a +believer who has started on a long pilgrimage, and who supports all the +suffering of the long journey with the fixed and consoling idea that one +day he will be able to throw himself on his knees at the shrine where he +wishes to worship, and to listen to the divine words which will be a +Paradise to him.</p> + +<p>He gave way to Madame d'Ormonde's slightest whims, and did all he could +never to bore her, never to hurt her feelings, but really to become a +friend whom she could not do without, and of whom, in the end, a woman +grows more jealous than she does of her husband, and to whom she +confesses everything, her daily worries and her dreams of the future.</p> + +<p>She would very likely have suffered and wept, and have felt a great void +in her existence if they had separated for ever, if he had disappeared, +and she would not have hesitated to defend him, even at the risk of +compromising herself, and of passing as his mistress, if any one had +attacked him in her presence, and sometimes she used to say with a +sudden laughing sadness in her voice:</p> + +<p>"If I were really capable of loving for five minutes consecutively, I +should love you."</p> + +<p>And when they were walking in the <i>Bois de Boulogne</i>, while the Victoria +was waiting near Armenonville, during their afternoon talks when, as he +used to say, they were hanging over the abyss until they both grew +giddy, and spoke of love madly and ceaselessly—returning to the subject +constantly, and impregnating themselves with it—Madame d'Ormonde would +occasionally produce one of her favorite theories. Yes, she certainly +understood possession of the beloved object, that touch of madness which +seizes you from head to foot, which makes your blood hot, and which +makes you forget everything else in a man's embraces, in that supreme +pleasure which overwhelms you, and which rivets two beings together for +ever, by the heart and by the brain. But only at some unexpected moment, +in a strange place, with a touch of something novel about it, which one +would remember all one's life, something amusing and almost maddening, +which one had been in search of for a long time, and which imparted a +flavor of curry, as it were, into the common-place flavor of immorality.</p> + +<p>And Xavier de Fontrailles did all he could to discover such a place, but +failed successively in a bachelor's lodgings with silk tapestry, like a +boudoir of the seventeenth century, in a villa hidden like a nest among +trees and rose bushes, with a Japanese house furnished in an +extraordinary fashion and very expensively, with latticed windows from +which one could see the sea, in an old melancholy palace, from which one +could see the Grand Canal, in rooms, in hotels, in queer quarters, in +private rooms, in restaurants, and in small country houses in the +recesses of woods.</p> + +<p>Madame d'Ormonde went on her way without turning her head, but Xavier, +alas! became more and more amorous, as amorous as an overgrown schoolboy +who has never hitherto had any conversation with a woman, and who is +amorous enough to pick up the flowers that fall from her bodice, and to +be lost and unhappy as soon as he does not see her, or hear her soft, +cooing voice, and see her smile....</p> + +<p>One evening, however, he had gone with her to the fair at Saint Cloud, +and went into three shows, deafened by the noise of the organs, the +whistling of the machinery of the round-abouts, and the hubbub of the +crowd that came and went among the booths that were illuminated by +paraffin lamps. As they were passing in front of a somnambulist's van, +Monsieur de Fontrailles stopped and said to Madame d'Ormonde:</p> + +<p>"Would you like to have our fortune told?"</p> + +<p>It was a very fine specimen of its kind, and had, no doubt, been far and +wide. Placards and portraits, bordered by advertisements, hung above the +shaky steps, and the small windows with their closed shutters, were +almost hidden by boxes of sweet basil and mignonette, while an old, bald +parrot, with her feathers all ruffled, was asleep just outside.</p> + +<p>The fortune teller was sitting on a chair, quietly knitting a stocking, +and on their approach she got up, went up to Madame d'Ormonde and said +in an unctuous voice:</p> + +<p>"I reveal the present, the past and the future, and even the name of the +future husband or wife, and of deceased relations, as well as my +client's present and future circumstances. I have performed before +crowned heads. The Emperor of Brazil came to me, with the illustrious +poet, Victor Hugo.... My charge is five francs for telling your fortune +from the cards or by your hand, and twenty francs for the whole lot.... +Would you like the lot, Madame?"</p> + +<p>Madame d'Ormonde gave vent to a burst of sonorous laughter, like a +street girl, who is amusing herself, but they went in and Monsieur de +Fontrailles opened the glass door which was covered by a heavy red +curtain. When they got in, the young woman uttered an exclamation of +surprise. The interior of the van was full of roses, arranged in the +most charming manner as if for a lovers' meeting. On a table covered +with a damask cloth, and which was surrounded by piles of cushions, a +supper was waiting for chance comers, and at the other end, concealed by +heavy hangings, one could see a large, wide bed, one of those beds which +give rise to sinister suggestions!</p> + +<p>Xavier had shut the door again, and Madame d'Ormonde looked at him in a +strange manner, with rather flushed cheeks, palpitating nostrils, and a +look in her eyes, such as he had never seen in them before, and in a +very low voice, while his heart beat violently, and he whispered into +her ear:</p> + +<p>"Well, does the decoration please you this time?"</p> + +<p>She replied by holding up her lips to him, and then filled two glasses +with extra dry champagne, which was as pale as the skin of a fair woman, +and said almost as if she had already been rather drunk:</p> + +<p>"I am decidedly worth a big stake!"</p> + +<p>It was in this fashion that Madame d'Ormonde, for the first and last +time, deceived her husband; and it was at the fair at Saint Cloud, in a +somnambulist's van.</p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Glass of Bavarian beer</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> <i>La recherche de la paternité est interdite.</i> A celebrated +clause in the Code Napoleon, whereby a man cannot be made chargeable for +a bastard.—TRANSLATOR.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Psychological Notes.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Title given to advocates in France.—TRANSLATOR.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> That man with the dogs.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Executioner, hangman.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> Vulgar for Monsieur.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Prison in Paris.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Work-girl, a name applied to those whose virtue is not too +rigorous.—TRANSLATOR.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> This manuscript was found among the papers of Viscount +Jacques de X—— who committed suicide a few years ago, in his room in +an hotel at Piombières.—R.M.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Civil marriages are obligatory in France, though usually +followed by the religious rite.—TRANSLATOR.</p></div> + + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WORKS OF GUY DE MAUPASSANT, VOLUME II (OF 8)***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 17375-h.txt or 17375-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/7/3/7/17375">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/3/7/17375</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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