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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rocket Book, by Peter Newell
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Rocket Book
+
+Author: Peter Newell
+
+Release Date: November 19, 2005 [EBook #17104]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROCKET BOOK ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Jason Isbell, David Garcia and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: FRONT COVER]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+              The ROCKET Book
+
+              by PETER NEWELL
+
+
+
+             HARPER & BROTHERS
+                 NEW YORK
+
+
+
+
+   COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY HARPER & BROTHERS
+               --------------
+           PATENTED JUNE 4, 1912
+               --------------
+  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+          PUBLISHED OCTOBER, 1912
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE ROCKET BOOK
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BASEMENT
+
+
+  When Fritz, the Janitor's bad kid,
+    Went snooping in the basement,
+  He found a rocket snugly hid
+    Beneath the window casement.
+
+  He struck a match with one fell swoop;
+    Then, on the concrete kneeling,
+  He lit the rocket and--she--oop!
+    It shot up through the ceiling.
+
+
+[Illustration: THE BASEMENT]
+
+
+
+
+FIRST FLAT
+
+
+  The Steiners on the floor above
+    Of breakfast were partaking;
+  Crash! came the rocket, unannounced,
+    And set them all a-quaking!
+
+  It smote a catsup bottle, fair,
+    And bang! the thing exploded!
+  And now these people all declare
+    That catsup flask was loaded.
+
+
+[Illustration: FIRST FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+SECOND FLAT
+
+
+  Before the fire old Grandpa Hopp
+    Dozed in his arm-chair big,
+  When from a trunk the rocket burst
+    And carried off his wig!
+
+  It passed so near his ancient head
+    He roused up with a start,
+  And, turning to his grandsons, said,
+    "You fellows think you're smart!"
+
+
+[Illustration: SECOND FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+THIRD FLAT
+
+
+  Algernon Bracket, somewhat rash,
+    Had blown a monster bubble,
+  When, oh! there came a blinding flash,
+    Precipitating trouble!
+
+  But Algy turned in mild disgust,
+    And called to Mama Bracket,
+  "Say, did you hear that bubble bu'st?
+    It made an awful racket!"
+
+
+[Illustration: THIRD FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+FOURTH FLAT
+
+
+  Jo Budd, who'd bought a potted plant,
+    Was dousing it with water.
+  He fancied this would make it grow,
+    And Joseph loved to potter.
+
+  Then through the pot the rocket shot
+    And made the scene look sickly!
+  "Well, now," said Jo, "I never thought
+    That plant would shoot so quickly!"
+
+
+[Illustration: FOURTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+FIFTH FLAT
+
+
+  Right here 'tis needful to remark
+    That Dick and "Little Son"
+  Were playing with a Noah's ark
+    And having loads of fun,
+
+  When all at once that rocket, stout,
+    Up through the ark came blazing!
+  The animals were tossed about
+    And did some stunts amazing.
+
+
+[Illustration: FIFTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+SIXTH FLAT
+
+
+  A Burglar on the next floor up
+    The sideboard was exploring.
+  (The family, with the brindled pup,
+    Were still asleep and snoring.)
+
+  Just then, up through the silverware
+    The rocket thundered, flaring!
+  The Burglar got a dreadful scare;
+    Then out the door went tearing.
+
+
+[Illustration: SIXTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+SEVENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Miss Mamie Briggs with no mean skill
+    Was playing "Casey's Fling"
+  To please her cousin, Amos Gill,
+    Who liked that sort of thing,
+
+  When suddenly the rocket, hot,
+    The old piano jumbled!
+  It stopped that rag-time like a shot,
+    Then through the ceiling rumbled.
+
+
+[Illustration: SEVENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+EIGHTH FLAT
+
+
+  Up through the next floor on its way
+    That rocket, dread, went tearing
+  Where Winkle stood in bath-robe, gay,
+    A tepid bath preparing.
+
+  The tub it punctured like a shot
+    And made a mighty splashing.
+  The man was rooted to the spot;
+    Then out the door went dashing.
+
+
+[Illustration: EIGHTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+NINTH FLAT
+
+
+  Bob Brooks was puffing very hard
+    His football to inflate,
+  While round him stood his faithful guard,
+    And they could hardly wait.
+
+  Then came the rocket, fierce and bright,
+    And through the football rumbled.
+  "You've got a pair of lungs, all right!"
+    His staring playmates grumbled.
+
+
+[Illustration: NINTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+TENTH FLAT
+
+
+  The family dog, with frenzied mien,
+    Was chasing Fluff, the mouser,
+  When, poof! the rocket flashed between,
+    And quite astonished Towzer.
+
+  Now, if this dog had wit enough
+    The English tongue to torture,
+  He might have growled such silly stuff
+    As, "Whew! that cat's a scorcher!"
+
+
+[Illustration: TENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+ELEVENTH FLAT
+
+
+  While Carrie Cook sat with a book
+    The phonograph played sweetly.
+  Then came the rocket and it smashed
+    That instrument completely.
+
+  Fair Carrie promptly turned her head,
+    Attracted by the roar.
+  "Dear me, I never heard," she said,
+    "That record played before!"
+
+
+[Illustration: ELEVENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+TWELFTH FLAT
+
+
+  De Vere was searching for a match
+    To light a cigarette,
+  But failed to find one with despatch,
+    Which threw him in a pet.
+
+  Just then the rocket flared up bright
+    Before his face and crackled,
+  Supplying him the needed light--
+    "Thanks, awfully," he cackled.
+
+
+[Illustration: TWELFTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+THIRTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Home from the shop came Maud's new hat--
+    A hat of monstrous size!
+  It almost filled the tiny flat
+    Before her ravished eyes.
+
+  When, sch-u-u! up through the box so proud
+    The rocket flared and spluttered.
+  "I said that hat was all too loud!"
+    Her peevish husband muttered.
+
+
+[Illustration: THIRTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+FOURTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Tom's pap had helped him start his train,
+    And all would have been fine
+  Had not the rocket, raising Cain,
+    Blocked traffic on the line.
+
+  It blew the engine into scrap,
+    As in a fit of passion.
+  "Who would have thought that toy," said pap,
+    "Would blow up in such fashion!"
+
+
+[Illustration: FOURTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+FIFTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Orlando Pease, quite at his ease,
+    The "Morning Star" was reading.
+  "My dear," said he to Mrs. Pease,
+    "Here's a report worth heeding."
+
+  The rocket then in wanton sport
+    Flashed through the printed pages.
+  The lady gasped, "A wild report!"
+    Then swooned by easy stages.
+
+
+[Illustration: FIFTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+SIXTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Doc Danby was a stupid guy,
+    So, lest he sleep too late,
+  He placed a tattoo clock near by
+    To waken him at eight.
+
+  But, ah! the rocket smote that clock
+    And smashed its way clean through it!
+  "You have a fine alarm," said Doc,
+    "But, say, you overdo it!"
+
+
+[Illustration: SIXTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+SEVENTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  A penny-liner, Abram Stout,
+    Was writing a description.
+  "The flame shot up," he pounded out--
+    Then threw a mild conniption.
+
+  For through his Flemington there shied
+    A rocket, hot and mystic.
+  "I didn't mean to be," he cried,
+    "So deuced realistic!"
+
+
+[Illustration: SEVENTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+EIGHTEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  Gus Gummer long had set his head
+    Upon some strange invention.
+  "Be careful, Gus," his good wife said;
+    "It might explode. I mention--"
+
+  Just then the pesky rocket flared
+    And wrecked that Yankee notion.
+  "I feared as much!" his wife declared;
+    Then fainted from emotion.
+
+
+[Illustration: EIGHTEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+NINETEENTH FLAT
+
+
+  While Burt was on his hobby-horse
+    And riding it like mad,
+  The rocket on its fiery course
+    Upset the startled lad.
+
+  The frightened pony plunged a lot,
+    Like Fury playing tag.
+  "Whoa, Spot!" said Burt. "Who would have thought
+    You such a fiery nag!"
+
+
+[Illustration: NINETEENTH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+TWENTIETH FLAT
+
+
+  A taxidermist plied his trade
+    Upon a walrus' head.
+  It really made him quite afraid
+    To meet its stare so dread.
+
+  When suddenly the rocket, bright,
+    Flared up and then was off!
+  "Oh, Minnie," cried the man in fright,
+    "Just hear that walrus cough!"
+
+
+[Illustration: TWENTIETH FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+TOP FLAT
+
+
+  Oh, it was just a splendid flight--
+    That rocket's wild career!
+  But to an end it came, all right,
+    As you shall straightway hear.
+
+  It plunged into a can of cream
+    That Billy Bunk was freezing,
+  And froze quite stiff, as it would seem,
+    And so subsided, wheezing.
+
+
+[Illustration: TOP FLAT]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rocket Book, by Peter Newell
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROCKET BOOK ***
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