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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Busie Body + +Author: Susanna Centlivre + +Commentator: Jess Byrd + +Release Date: September 24, 2005 [EBook #16740] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BUSIE BODY *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class = "mynote"> +Transcriber's Note:<br> +In addition to the ordinary page numbers, the printed text labeled +the recto (odd) pages of the first two leaves of each 8-page +signature. These will appear in the right margin as A, A2...<br> +A few typographical errors have been corrected. They are shown in the +text with <ins class = "correction" title = "like this">popups</ins>. +</div> +<h2>The Augustan Reprint Society</h2> +<br> +<br> +<h5>SUSANNA CENTLIVRE</h5> +<h3><span class = "extended">THE BUSIE BODY</span></h3> +<h5>(1709)</h5> +<br> +<h6>With an Introduction by</h6> +<h5>Jess Byrd</h5> +<br> +<h5>Publication Number 19</h5> +<h6>(Series V, No. 3)</h6> +<br> +<br> +<h6>Los Angeles</h6> +<h6>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</h6> +<h6>University of California</h6> +<h6>1949</h6> + +<hr> + +<p class = "editors">GENERAL EDITORS<br> +<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">H. Richard Archer</span>, Clark Memorial +Library<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Richard C. Boys</span>, University of +Michigan<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Edward Niles Hooker</span>, University of +California, Los Angeles<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">H. T. Swedenberg, Jr.</span>, University +of California, Los Angeles<br> +<br> +ASSISTANT EDITOR<br> +<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">W. Earl Britton</span>, University of +Michigan<br> +<br> +ADVISORY EDITORS<br> +<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Emmett L. Avery</span>, State College of +Washington<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Benjamin Boyce</span>, University of +Nebraska<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Louis I. Bredvold</span>, University of +Michigan<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Cleanth Brooks</span>, Yale +University<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">James L. Clifford</span>, Columbia +University<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Arthur Friedman</span>, University of +Chicago<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Samuel H. Monk</span>, University of +Minnesota<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Ernest Mossner</span>, University of +Texas<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">James Sutherland</span>, Queen Mary +College, London</p> + +<hr> +<div class = "contents"> +<a href = "#intro">Introduction</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +<a href = "#title">The Busie Body</a><br> +<a href = "#dedic">Dedicatory Epistle</a><br> +<a href = "#prologue">Prologue</a><br> +<a href = "#epilogue">Epilogue</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +<a href = "#cast">Dramatis Personae</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +ACT I<br> +<a href = "#actI">The Park</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +ACT II<br> +<a href = "#actII_1">Sir Francis Gripe's house</a><br> +<a href = "#actII_2">Sir Jealous Traffick's House</a><br> +<a href = "#actII_3">Charles's lodging</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +ACT III<br> +<a href = "#actIII_1">outside Sir Jealous Traffick's house</a><br> +<a href = "#actIII_2">the Street</a><br> +<a href = "#actIII_3">Sir Francis Gripe's house</a><br> +<a href = "#actIII_4">a Tavern</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +ACT IV<br> +<a href = "#actIV_1">outside Sir Jealous Traffick's House</a><br> +<a href = "#actIV_2">Isabinda's Chamber</a><br> +<a href = "#actIV_3">a Garden Gate</a><br> +<a href = "#actIV_4">Sir Jealous Traffick's house</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +ACT V<br> +<a href = "#actV_1">Sir Francis Gripe's house</a><br> +<a href = "#actV_2">the Street before Sir Jealous's Door</a><br> +<a href = "#actV_3">inside Sir Jealous Traffick's house</a></div> +<div class = "contents"> +<a href = "#ARSpubs">List of ARS titles</a></div> +<hr> + +<span class = "pagenum">i</span> +<div class = "typehead"><a name = "intro">INTRODUCTION</a></div> + +<p class = "intro"> +Susanna Centlivre (1667?-1723) in <i>The Busie Body</i> (1709) +contributed to the stage one of the most successful comedies of intrigue +of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. This play, written when +there was a decided trend in England toward sentimental drama, shows +Mrs. Centlivre a strong supporter of laughing comedy. She had turned for +a time to sentimental comedy and with one of her three sentimental +plays, <i>The Gamester</i> (1704), had achieved a great success. But her +true bent seems to have been toward realistic comedies, chiefly of +intrigue: of her nineteen plays written from 1700 to 1723, ten are +realistic comedies. Three of these proved very popular in her time and +enjoyed a long stage history: <i>The Busie Body</i> (1709); <i>The +Wonder: A Woman Keeps a Secret</i> (1714); and <i>A Bold Stroke for a +Wife</i> (1717). <i>The Busie Body</i> best illustrates Mrs. Centlivre's +preference for laughing comedy with an improved moral tone. The +characters and the plot are amusing but inoffensive, and, compared to +those of Restoration drama, satisfy the desire of the growing +eighteenth-century middle-class audience for respectability on the +stage.</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +The theory of comedy on which <i>The Busie Body</i> rests is a +traditional one, but Mrs. Centlivre's simple pronouncements on the +virtues of realistic over sentimental comedy are interesting because of +the controversy on this subject among critics and writers at this time. +In the preface to her first play, <i>The Perjur'd Husband</i> (1700), +she takes issue with Jeremy Collier on the charge of immorality in +realistic plays. The stage, she believes, should present characters as +they are; <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads 'is it'">it +is</ins> unreasonable to expect a "Person, whose inclinations are always +forming Projects to the Dishonor of her Husband, should deliver her +Commands to her Confident in the Words of a Psalm." In a letter written +in 1700 she says: "I think the main design of Comedy is to make us +laugh." (Abel Boyer, <i>Letters of Wit, Politicks, and Morality</i>, +London, 1701, p. 362). But, she adds, since Collier has taught religion +to the "Rhiming Trade, the Comick Muse in +<span class = "pagenum">ii</span> +Tragick Posture sat" until she discovered Farquhar, whose language is +amusing but decorous and whose plots are virtuous. This insistence on +decorum and virtue indicates a concession to Collier and to the public. +Thus in the preface to <i>Love's Contrivance</i> (1703), she reiterates +her belief that comedy should amuse but adds that she strove for a +"modest stile" which might not "disoblige the nicest ear." This modest +style, not practiced in early plays, is achieved admirably in <i>The +Busie Body</i>. Yet, as she says in the epilogue, she has not followed +the critics who balk the pleasure of the audience to refine their taste; +her play will with "good humour, pleasure crown the Night." In dialogue, +in plot, and particularly in the character of the amusing but +inoffensive Marplot, she fulfills her simple theory of comedy designed +not for reform but for laughter.</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +Mrs. Centlivre followed the practices of her contemporaries in borrowing +the plot for <i>The Busie Body</i>. The three sources for the play are: +<i>The Devil Is an Ass</i> (1616) by Jonson; <i>L'Etourdi</i> (1658) by +Molière; and <i>Sir Martin Mar-all or The Feigned Innocence</i> (1667) +by Dryden. From <i>The Devil Is an Ass</i>, Mrs. Centlivre borrowed +minor details and two episodes, one of them the amusing dumb scene. This +scene, though a close imitation, seems more amusing in <i>The Busie +Body</i> than in Jonson's play, perhaps because the characters, +especially Sir Francis Gripe and Miranda, are more credible and more +fully portrayed. From the second source for <i>The Busie Body</i>, +Molière's <i>L'Etourdi</i>, I believe Mrs. Centlivre borrowed the +framework for her parallel plots, the theme of Marplot's blundering, and +the name and general character of Marplot. But she has improved what she +borrowed. She places in Molière's framework more credible women +characters than his, especially in the charming Miranda and the crafty +Patch; she constructs a more skillful intrigue plot for the stage than +his subplot and emphasizes Spanish customs in the lively +Charles-Isabinda-Traffick plot. Mrs. Centlivre concentrates on Marplot's +blundering, whereas Molière concentrates on the servant Mascarille's +schemes. Marplot's funniest blunder, in the "monkey" scene, is entirely +original as far as I know (IV, iv). But her greatest change is in the +character of Marplot, who in +<span class = "pagenum">iii</span> +her hands becomes not so much stupid as human and irresistibly +ludicrous. Mrs. Centlivre's style is of course inferior to that of +Molière. In the preface to <i>Love's Contrivance</i> (1703), in speaking +of borrowings from Molière, she said that borrowers "must take care to +touch the Colors with an English Pencil, and form the Piece according to +our Manners." Of course her touching the "Colors with an English Pencil" +meant changing the style of Molière to suit the less delicate taste of +the middle-class English audience.</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +A third source for <i>The Busie Body</i> is Dryden's <i>Sir Martin +Mar-all</i> (1667). Since Dryden followed Molière with considerable +exactness, it would be difficult to prove beyond doubt that Mrs. +Centlivre borrowed from Molière rather than from Dryden. Yet I believe, +after a careful analysis of the plays, that she borrowed from Molière. +She made of <i>The Busie Body</i> a comedy of intrigue based on the +theme and plot used by both Molière and Dryden, but she omitted the +scandalous Restoration third plot which Dryden had added to Molière. Her +characters are English in speech and action, but they lack the +coarseness apparent in Dryden's <i>Sir Martin Mar-all</i>. Though it is +impossible to prove the exact sources of Mrs. Centlivre's borrowings, +there is no doubt that she has improved what she borrowed.</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +Whatever the truth may be about Mrs. Centlivre's use of her sources, her +play remained in the repertory of acting plays long after +<i>L'Etourdi</i> and <i>Sir Martin Mar-all</i> had disappeared. <i>The +Busie Body</i> opened at the Drury Lane Theater on May 12, 1709. Steele, +who listed the play in <i>The Tatler</i> for May 14, 1709, does not +mention the length of the run. Thomas Whincop says that the play ran +thirteen nights (<i>Scanderbeg</i>, London, 1747, p. 190), but Genest +says the play had an opening run of seven nights (<i>Some Account of the +English Stage from the Restoration in 1660 to 1830</i>, II, 419). The +play remained popular throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth +centuries. Genest lists it as being presented in twenty-three seasons +from 1709 to 1800. It was certainly presented much more frequently than +this record shows, for Dougald MacMillan in <i>The Drury Lane +Calendar</i> lists fifty-three +<span class = "pagenum">iv</span> +performances from 1747-1776, whereas Genest records two performances in +this period. The greatest number of performances in any season was +fourteen in 1758-59, the year David Garrick appeared in the play. From +the records available <i>The Busie Body</i> seems to have reached its +greatest popularity in England in the middle and late eighteenth century +and the early part of the nineteenth century. William Hazlitt, in the +"Prefatory Remarks" to the Oxberry acting edition of 1819, says <i>The +Busie Body</i> has been acted a "thousand times in town and country, +giving delight to the old, the young, and the middle-aged."</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +<i>The Busie Body</i> enjoyed a similar place of importance in the stage +history of America but achieved its greatest popularity, in New York at +least, in the nineteenth century. First performed in Williamsburg on +September 10, 1736, the play was presented fifteen times in New York in +the eighteenth century. In the nineteenth century forty-five +performances were given in New York in sixteen seasons from 1803 to 1885 +(George Odell, <i>Annals of the New York Stage</i>). <i>The Busie +Body</i> is frequently cited with <i>The Rivals</i> and <i>The School +for Scandal</i> for opening seasons and for long runs by great +actors.</p> + +<p class = "intro"> +The text here reproduced is from a copy of the first edition now in the +library of the University of Michigan.</p> + +<p class = "indent">Jess Byrd<br> +Salem College</p> + +<hr> +<a name = "title"> </a> +<h4>THE</h4> + +<h1>BUSIE BODY:</h1> + +<h4>A</h4> + +<div class = "biggest">COMEDY.</div> + +<h3>As it is Acted at the</h3> + +<h2>THEATRE-ROYAL</h2> + +<h5>IN</h5> + +<h2><i>DRURY-LANE,</i></h2> + +<h3>By Her Majesty's Servants.</h3> + +<hr class = "smaller"> + +<h4><i>Written by Mrs.</i> <span class = "smallcaps">Susanna +Centlivre</span>.</h4> + +<hr class = "smaller"> + +<table align = "center"> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<div class = "verse"> +Quem tulit ad scenam ventoso Gloria curru,<br> +Exanimat lentus Spectator, sedulus inflat.<br> +Sic Leve, sic parvum est, animum quod laudis avarum<br> +Subruit aut reficit—</div> +<p align = "right"> +Horat. Epist. Lib. II. Ep. 1.</p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<hr class = "smaller"> + +<h5><span class = "extended">LONDON,</span></h5> + +<h5>Printed for <span class = "smallcaps">Bernard Lintott</span>, at the +<i>Cross-Keys</i><br> +between the Two <i>Temple-Gates</i> in <i>Fleet-street</i>.</h5> + +<hr> + +<h5><a name = "dedic">TO THE</a></h5> + +<h4>RIGHT HONOURABLE</h4> + +<h3><i>JOHN</i> Lord <i>SOMMERS</i>,</h3> + +<h4>Lord-President of <a class = "hajesty" href = +"images/salutation.jpg">Her <span class = +"smallcaps">Hajesty</span>'s</a> most<br> +Honourable Privy-Council.</h4> +<br> + +<p><i>May it please Your Lordship,</i></p> + +<p><span class = "firstletter">A</span>S it's an Establish'd Custom in +these latter Ages, for all Writers, particularly the Poetical, to +shelter their Productions under the Protection of the most +Distinguish'd, whose Approbation produces a kind of Inspiration, much +superior to that which the <i>Heathenish</i> Poets pretended to derive +from their Fictitious <i>Apollo</i>: So it was my Ambition to Address +one of my weak Performances to Your Lordship, who, by Universal Consent, +are justly allow'd to be the best Judge of all kinds of Writing.</p> + +<p>I was indeed at first deterr'd from my Design, by a Thought that it +might be accounted unpardonable Rudeness to obtrude a Trifle of this +Nature to a Person, whose sublime Wisdom moderates that Council, which +at this Critical Juncture, over-rules the Fate of all <i>Europe</i>. But +then I was encourag'd by Reflecting, that <i>Lelius</i> and +<i>Scipio</i>, the two greatest Men in their Time, among the +<i>Romans</i>, both for Political and Military Virtues, in the height of +their important Affairs, thought the Perusal and Improving of +<i>Terence</i>'s Comedies the noblest way of Unbinding their Minds. I +own I were guilty of the highest Vanity, should I presume to put my +Composures in Parallel with those of that Celebrated <i>Dramatist</i>. +But then again, I hope that Your Lordship's native Goodness and +Generosity, in Condescension to the Taste of the Best and Fairest part +of the Town, who have been pleas'd to be diverted by the following <span +class = "smallcaps">Scenes</span>, will excuse and overlook such Faults +as your nicer Judgment might discern.</p> + +<p>And here, my Lord, the Occasion seems fair for me to engage in a +Panegyrick upon those Natural and Acquired Abilities, which so brightly +Adorn your Person: But I shall resist that Temptation, being conscious +of the Inequality of a Female Pen to so Masculine an Attempt; and having +no other Ambition, than to Subscribe my self,</p> + +<table align = "center"> +<tr> +<td class = "dedic" colspan = "4">My Lord,</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "dedic" colspan = "3">Your Lordship's</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "dedic" colspan = "2">Most Humble and</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "dedic">Most Obedient Servant,</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "filler"> </td> +<td class = "dedic" colspan = "2"><span class = "smallcaps">Susanna +Centlivre.</span></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<hr> + +<h1><a name = "prologue">PROLOGUE.</a></h1> + +<h4><i>By the Author of</i> +<span class = "smallcaps">Tunbridge-Walks</span>.</h4> + + +<div class = "verse"> +<span class = "secondletter">T</span>HO' modern Prophets +were expos'd of late,<br> +The Author cou'd not Prophesie his Fate;<br> +If with such Scenes an Audience had been Fir'd,<br> +The Poet must have really been Inspir'd.<br> +But these, alas! are Melancholy Days<br> +For Modern Prophets, and for Modern Plays.<br> +Yet since Prophetick Lyes please Fools o'Fashion,<br> +And Women are so fond of Agitation;<br> +To Men of Sense, I'll Prophesie anew,<br> +And tell you wond'rous things, that will prove true:</div> +<div class = "plainverse"> +Undaunted Collonels will to Camps repair,<br> +Assur'd, there'll be no Skirmishes this Year;</div> +<div class = "verse"> +On our own Terms will flow the wish'd-for Peace,<br> +All Wars, except 'twixt Man and Wife, will cease.<br> +The Grand Monarch may wish his Son a Throne,<br> +But hardly will advance to lose his own.<br> +This Season most things bear a smiling Face;<br> +But Play'rs in Summer have a dismal Case,<br> +Since your Appearance only is our Act of Grace.<br> +Court Ladies will to Country Seats be gone,<br> +My Lord can't all the Year live Great in Town,<br> +Where wanting <span class = "charname">Opera's</span>, <span class = +"charname">Basset</span>, and a <span class = +"charname">Play</span>,<br> +They'll Sigh and stitch a Gown, to pass the time away.<br> +Gay City-Wives at <span class = "charname">Tunbridge</span> will +appear,<br> +Whose Husbands long have laboured for an Heir;<br> +Where many a Courtier may their Wants relieve,<br> +But by the Waters only they Conceive.<br> +The <span class = "charname">Fleet-street</span> Sempstress—Toast +of <span class = "charname">Temple</span> Sparks,<br> +That runs Spruce Neckcloths for Attorney's Clerks;<br> +At <span class = "charname">Cupid</span>'s <span class = +"charname">Gardens</span> will her Hours regale,<br> +Sing fair <span class = "charname">Dorinda</span>, and drink Bottl'd +Ale.<br> +At all Assemblies, Rakes are up and down,<br> +And Gamesters, where they think they are not known.</div> +<div class = "verse1"> +Shou'd I denounce our Author's fate to Day,<br> +To cry down Prophecies, you'd damn the Play:<br> +Yet Whims like these have sometimes made you Laugh;<br> +'Tis Tattling all, like <span class = "charname">Isaac +Bickerstaff</span>.</div> +<div class = "verse1"> +Since War, and Places claim the Bards that write,<br> +Be kind, and bear a Woman's Treat to-Night;<br> +Let your Indulgence all her Fears allay,<br> +And none but Woman-Haters damn this Play.</div> + +<hr> + +<h3><a name = "epilogue">EPILOGUE.</a></h3> + +<div class = "verse"> +<span class = "secondletter">I</span>N me you see one +<span class = "charname">Busie-Body</span> more;<br> +Tho' you may have enough of one before.<br> +With Epilogues, the <span class = "charname">Busie-Body</span>'s +Way,<br> +We strive to help; but sometimes mar a Play.<br> +At this mad Sessions, half condemn'd e'er try'd,<br> +Some, in three Days, have been turn'd off, and dy'd,<br> +In spight of Parties, their Attempts are vain,<br> +For like false Prophets, they ne'er rise again.<br> +Too late, when cast, your Favour one beseeches,<br> +And Epilogues prove Execution Speeches.<br> +Yet sure I spy no <span class = "charname">Busie-Bodies</span> here;<br> +And one may pass, since they do ev'ry where.<br> +Sowr Criticks, Time and Breath, and Censures waste,<br> +And baulk your Pleasure to refine your Taste.<br> +One busie Don ill-tim'd high Tenets Preaches,<br> +Another yearly shows himself in Speeches.<br> +Some snivling Cits, wou'd have a Peace for spight,<br> +To starve those Warriours who so bravely fight.<br> +Still of a Foe upon his Knees affraid;<br> +Whose well-hang'd Troops want Money, Heart, and Bread.<br> +Old Beaux, who none not ev'n themselves can please,<br> +Are busie still; for nothing—but to teize<br> +The Young, so busie to engage a Heart,<br> +The Mischief done, are busie most to part.<br> +Ungrateful Wretches, who still cross ones Will,<br> +When they more kindly might be busie still!<br> +One to a Husband, who ne'er dreamt of Horns,<br> +Shows how dear Spouse, with Friend his Brows adorns.<br> +Th' Officious Tell-tale Fool, (he shou'd repent it.)<br> +Parts three kind Souls that liv'd at Peace contented,<br> +Some with Law Quirks set <span class = "charname">Houses</span> +by the Ears;<br> +With Physick one what he wou'd heal impairs.<br> +Like that dark Mob'd up Fry, that neighb'ring Curse,<br> +Who to remove Love's Pain, bestow a worse.<br> +Since then this meddling Tribe infest the Age,<br> +Bear one a while, expos'd upon the Stage.<br> +Let none but <span class = "charname">Busie-Bodies</span> +vent their Spight!<br> +And with good Humour, Pleasure crown the Night!</div> + +<hr> + +<h1><a name = "cast">Dramatis Personæ.</a></h1> +<h4>MEN.</h4> + +<table> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +Sir <i>George Airy</i>. A Gentleman of Four Thousand a Year +in Love with <i>Miranda</i></td> +<td class = "actors"> +Acted by<br> +Mr. <i>Wilks</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i>. Guardian to <i>Miranda</i> and <i>Marplot</i>, +Father to <i>Charles</i>, in Love with <i>Miranda</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mr. <i>Estcourt</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Charles</i>. Friend to <i>Sir George</i>, +in Love with <i>Isabinda</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mr. <i>Mills</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +Sir <i>Jealous Traffick</i>. A Merchant that had liv'd sometime in +<i>Spain</i>, a great Admirer of the <i>Spanish</i> Customs, +Father to <i>Isabinda</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mr. <i>Bullock</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Marplot</i>. A sort of a silly Fellow, Cowardly, but very Inquisitive +to know every Body's Business, generally spoils all he undertakes, yet +without Design. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mr. <i>Pack</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Whisper</i>. Servant to <i>Charles</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mr. <i>Bullock</i> jun.</td> +</tr> +</table> +<br> + +<h4>WOMEN.</h4> +<table> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Miranda</i>. An Heiress, worth Thirty Thousand Pound, really in Love +with Sir <i>George</i>, but pretends to be so with her Guardian Sir +<i>Francis</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mrs. <i>Cross</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Isabinda</i>. Daughter to Sir <i>Jealous</i>, in Love with +<i>Charles</i>, but design'd for a <i>Spanish</i> Merchant by her +Father, and kept up from the sight of all Men. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mrs. <i>Rogers</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Patch</i>. Her Woman. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mrs. <i>Saunders</i>.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "cast"> +<i>Scentwell</i>. Woman to <i>Miranda</i>. +</td> +<td class = "actors"> +Mrs. <i>Mills</i>.</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<hr> + +<span class = "pagenum">1</span> +<span class = "folionum">B</span> +<h3>THE</h3> +<h1>BUSIE BODY.</h1> + +<div class = "act"><a name = "actI">ACT I. SCENE <i>The +Park</i>.</a></div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Sir <span class = "charname">George Airy</span> +meeting <span class = "charname">Charles</span>.</div> + + +<p> +<i>Cha.</i><br> +<span class = "firstletter">H</span>A! +Sir <i>George Airy!</i> A Birding thus early, what forbidden Game rouz'd +you so soon? For no lawful Occasion cou'd invite a Person of your Figure +abroad at such unfashionable Hours.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> There are some Men, <i>Charles</i>, whom Fortune has +left free from Inquietudes, who are diligently Studious to find out Ways +and Means to make themselves uneasie.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Is it possible that any thing in Nature can ruffle the +Temper of a Man, whom the four Seasons of the Year compliment with as +many Thousand Pounds, nay! and a Father at Rest with his Ancestors.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why there 'tis now! a Man that wants Money thinks +none can be unhappy that has it; but my Affairs are in such a whimsical +Posture, that it will require a Calculation of my Nativity to find if my +Gold will relieve me or not.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Ha, ha, ha, never consult the Stars about that; Gold has +a Power beyond them; Gold unlocks the Midnight Councils; Gold out-does +the Wind, becalms the Ship, or fills her Sails; Gold is omnipotent +below; it makes whole Armies fight, or fly; It buys even Souls, and +bribes the Wretches to +<span class = "pagenum">2</span> +betray their Country: Then what can thy Business be, that Gold won't +serve thee in?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why, I'm in Love.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> In Love— Ha, ha, ha, ha; In Love, Ha, ha, ha, with +what, prithee, a <i>Cherubin!</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, with a Woman.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> A Woman, Good, Ha, ha, ha, and Gold not help thee?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But suppose I'm in Love with two—</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Ay, if thou'rt in Love with two hundred, Gold will fetch +'em, I warrant thee, Boy. But who are they? who are they? come.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> One is a Lady, whose Face I never saw, but Witty as +an Angel; the other Beautiful as <i>Venus</i>—</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> And a Fool—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> For ought I know, for I never spoke to her, but you +can inform me; I am charm'd by the Wit of One, and dye for the Beauty of +the Other?</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> And pray, which are you in Quest of now?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I prefer the Sensual Pleasure, I'm for her I've seen, +who is thy Father's Ward <i>Miranda</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Nay then, I pity you; for the Jew my Father will no more +part with her, and 30000 Pound, than he wou'd with a Guinea to keep me +from starving.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Now you see Gold can't do every thing, +<i>Charles</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes, for 'tis her Gold that bars my Father's Gate against +you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why, if he is this avaricious Wretch, how cam'st thou +by such a Liberal Education?</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Not a Souse out of his Pocket, I assure you; I had an +Uncle who defray'd that Charge, but for some litte Wildnesses of Youth, +tho' he made me his Heir, left Dad my Guardian till I came to Years of +Discretion, which I presume the old Gentleman will never think I am; and +now he has got the Estate into his Clutches, it does me no more good, +than if it lay in <i>Prester John</i>'s Dominions.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What can'st thou find no Stratagem to redeem it?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">3</span> +<span class = "folionum">B2</span> +<i>Cha.</i> I have made many Essays to no purpose; tho' Want, the +Mistress of Invention, still tempts me on, yet still the old Fox is too +cunning for me— I am upon my last Project, which if it fails, then +for my last Refuge, a Brown Musquet.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What is't, can I assist thee?</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Not yet, when you can, I have Confidence enough in you to +ask it.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I am always ready, but what do's he intend to do with +<i>Miranda?</i> Is she to be sold in private? or will he put her up by +way of Auction, at who bids most? If so, Egad, I'm for him: my Gold, as +you say, shall be subservient to my Pleasure.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> To deal ingeniously with you, Sir <i>George</i>, I know +very little of Her, or Home; for since my Uncle's Death, and my Return +from Travel, I have never been well with my Father; he thinks my +Expences too great, and I his Allowance too little; he never sees me, +but he quarrels; and to avoid that, I shun his House as much as +possible. The Report is, he intends to marry her himself.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Can she consent to it?</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes faith, so they say; but I tell you, I am wholly +ignorant of the matter. <i>Miranda</i> and I are like two violent +Members of a contrary Party, I can scarce allow her Beauty, tho' all the +World do's; nor she me Civility, for that Contempt, I fancy she plays +the Mother-in-law already, and sets the old Gentleman on to do +mischief.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Then I've your free Consent to get her.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Ay and my helping-hand, if occasion be.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Pugh, yonder's a Fool coming this way, let's avoid +him.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> What <i>Marplot</i>, no no, he's my Instrument; there's a +thousand Conveniences in him, he'll lend me his Money when he has any, +run of my Errands and be proud on't; in short, he'll Pimp for me, Lye +for me, Drink for me, do any thing but Fight for me, and that I trust to +my own Arm for.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Nay then he's to be endur'd; I never knew his +Qualifications before.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">4</span> +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Marplot</span> +with a Patch cross his Face.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Dear <i>Charles</i>, your's,— Ha! Sir <i>George +Airy</i>, the Man in the World, I have an Ambition to be known to +<span class = "insetdir">(aside.)</span> Give me thy Hand, dear +Boy—</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> A good Assurance! But heark ye, how came your Beautiful +Countenance clouded in the wrong place?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I must confess 'tis a little <i>Mal-a-propos</i>, but +no matter for that; a Word with you, <i>Charles</i>; Prithee, introduce +me to Sir <i>George</i>— he is a Man of Wit, and I'd give ten +Guinea's to—</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> When you have 'em, you mean.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ay, when I have 'em; pugh, pox, you cut the Thread of +my Discourse— I wou'd give ten Guinea's, I say, to be rank'd in his +Acquaintance: Well, 'tis a vast Addition to a Man's Fortune, according +to the Rout of the World, to be seen in the Company of Leading Men; for +then we are all thought to be Politicians, or Whigs, or Jacks, or +High-Flyers, or Low-Flyers, or Levellers—and so forth; for you +must know, we all herd in Parties now.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Then a Fool for Diversion is out of Fashion, I find.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Yes, without it be a mimicking Fool, and they are +Darlings every where; but prithee introduce me.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Well, on Condition you'll give us a true Account how you +came by that Mourning Nose, I will.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I'll do it.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Sir <i>George</i>, here's a Gentleman has a passionate +Desire to kiss your Hand.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Oh, I honour Men of the Sword, and I presume this +Gentleman is lately come from <i>Spain</i> or <i>Portugal</i>—by +his Scars.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> No really, Sir <i>George</i>, mine sprung from civil +Fury, happening last Night into the Groom-Porters—I had a strong +Inclination to go ten Guineas with a sort of a, sort of a—kind of +a Milk Sop, as I thought: A Pox of the Dice he flung out, and my Pockets +being empty as <i>Charles</i> +<span class = "pagenum">5</span> +knows they sometimes are, he prov'd a surly <i>North-Britain</i>, and +broke my Face for my Deficiency.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! ha! and did not you draw?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Draw, Sir, why, I did but lay my Hand upon my Sword to +make a swift Retreat, and he roar'd out. Now the Deel a Ma sol, Sir, gin +ye touch yer Steel, Ise whip mine through yer Wem.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, ha, ha,</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Ha, ha, ha, ha, fase was the Word, so you walk'd off, I +suppose.</p> + +<p><i>Marp.</i> Yes, for I avoid fighting, purely to be serviceable to +my Friends you know—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Your Friends are much oblig'd to you, Sir, I hope +you'll rank me in that Number.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Sir <i>George</i>, a Bow from the side Box, or to be +seen in your Chariot, binds me ever yours.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Trifles, you may command 'em when you please.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Provided he may command you—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Me! why I live for no other purpose— Sir +<i>George</i>, I have the Honour to be carest by most of the reigning +Toasts of the Town, I'll tell 'em you are the finest +Gentleman—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, no, prithee let me alone to tell the +Ladies—my Parts—can you convey a Letter upon Occasion, or +deliver a Message with an Air of Business, Ha!</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> With the Assurance of a Page and the Gravity of a +Statesman.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You know <i>Miranda!</i></p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What, my Sister <i>Ward?</i> Why, her Guardian is mine, +we are Fellow Sufferers: Ah! he is a covetous, cheating, sanctify'd +Curmudgeon; that Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i> is a damn'd old—</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I suppose, Friend, you forget that he is my +Father—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I ask your Pardon, <i>Charles</i>, but it is for your +sake I hate him. Well, I say, the World is mistaken in him, his Out-side +Piety, makes him every Man's Executor, and his Inside Cunning, makes him +every Heir's Jaylor. Egad, <i>Charles</i>, I'm half persuaded that +thou'rt some <i>Ward</i> too, and never of +<span class = "pagenum">6</span> +his getting: For thou art as honest a Debauchee as ever Cuckolded Man of +Quality.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A pleasant Fellow.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> The Dog is Diverting sometimes, or there wou'd be no +enduring his Impertinence: He is pressing to be employ'd and willing to +execute, but some ill Fate generally attends all he undertakes, and he +oftner spoils an Intreague than helps it—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> If I miscarry 'tis none of my Fault, I follow my +Instructions.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes, witness the Merchant's Wife.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pish, Pox, that was an Accident.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What was it, prithee?</p> + +<p><i>Ch.</i> Why, you must know, I had lent a certain Merchant my +hunting Horses, and was to have met his Wife in his Absence: Sending him +along with my Groom to make the Complement, and to deliver a Letter to +the Lady at the same time; what does he do, but gives the Husband the +Letter, and offers her the Horses.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I remember you was even with me, for you deny'd the +Letter to be yours, and swore I had a design upon her, which my Bones +paid for.</p> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Come, Sir <i>George</i>, let's walk round, if you are not +ingag'd, for I have sent my Man upon a little earnest Business, and have +order'd him to bring me the Answer into the Park.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Business, and I not know it, Egad I'll watch him.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I must beg your Pardon, <i>Charles</i>, I am to meet +your Father here.</p> + +<p><i>Ch.</i> My Father!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Aye! and about the oddest Bargain perhaps you ever +heard off; but I'll not impart till I know the Success.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What can his Business be with Sir <i>Francis?</i> Now +wou'd I give all the World to know it; why the Devil should not one know +every Man's Concern.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Prosperity to't whate'er it be, I have private Affairs +too; over a Bottle we'll compare Notes.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">7</span> +<i>Marpl. Charles</i> knows I love a Glass as well as any Man, +I'll make one; shall it be to Night? <ins class = "correction" title = +"correct as printed">Ad</ins> I long to know their Secrets.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Whisper</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Whis.</i> Sir, Sir, Mis <i>Patch</i> says, <i>Isabinda</i>'s +Spanish Father has quite spoil'd the Plot, and she can't meet you in the +Park, but he infallibly will go out this Afternoon, she says; but I must +step again to know the Hour.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What did <i>Whisper</i> say now? I shall go stark Mad, +if I'm not let into this Secret.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Cha.</i> Curst Misfortune, come along with me, my Heart feels +Pleasure at her Name. Sir <i>George</i>, yours; we'll meet at the old +place the usual Hour.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Agreed; I think I see Sir <i>Francis</i> yonder.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Cha. Marplot</i>, you must excuse me, I am engag'd.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Engag'd, Egad I'll engage my Life, I'll know what your +Engagement is.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Coming out of a +Chair.)</span> +Let the Chair wait: My Servant, That dog'd Sir <i>George</i> said he was +in the Park.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p>Ha! Mis <i>Patch</i> alone, did not you tell me you had contriv'd a +way to bring <i>Isabinda</i> to the Park?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh, Madam, your Ladiship can't imagine what a wretched +Disappointment we have met with: Just as I had fetch'd a Suit of my +Cloaths for a Disguise: comes my old Master into his Closet, which is +right against her Chamber Door; this struck us into a terrible +Fright— At length I put on a Grave Face, and ask'd him if he was at +leisure for his Chocolate, in hopes to draw him out of his Hole; but he +snap'd my Nose off, No, I shall be busie here this two Hours; at which +my poor Mistress seeing no way of Escape, order'd me to wait on your +Ladiship with the sad Relation.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Unhappy <i>Isabinda!</i> Was ever any thing so +unaccountable as the Humour of Sir <i><ins class = "correction" title = +"so in original">Jealousie</ins> Traffick</i>.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">8</span> +<i>Patch.</i> Oh, Madam, it's his living so long in <i>Spain</i>, he +vows he'll spend half his Estate, but he'll be a Parliament-Man, on +purpose to bring in a Bill for Women to wear Veils, and the other odious +<i>Spanish</i> Customs— He swears it is the height of Impudence to +have a Woman seen Bare-fac'd even at Church, and scarce believes there's +a true begotten Child in the City.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, how the old Fool torments himself! Suppose +he could introduce his rigid Rules—does he think we cou'd not +match them in Contrivance? No, no; Let the Tyrant Man make what Laws he +will, if there's a Woman under the Government, I warrant she finds a way +to break 'em: Is his Mind set upon the <i>Spaniard</i> for his +Son-in-law still?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ay, and he expects him by the next Fleet, which drives +his Daughter to Melancholy and Despair: But, Madam, I find you retain +the same gay, cheerful Spirit you had, when I waited on your +Ladiship.— My Lady is mighty good-humour'd too, and I have found a +way to make Sir <ins class = "correction" title = +"so in original"><i>Jealousie</i></ins> believe I am wholly in his +Interest, when my real Design is to serve her; he makes me her Jaylor, +and I set her at Liberty.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I know thy Prolifick Brain wou'd be of singular Service +to her, or I had not parted with thee to her Father.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> But, Madam, the Report is that you are going to marry +your Guardian.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> It is necessary such a Report shou'd be, +<i>Patch</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> But is it true, Madam?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> That's not absolutely necessary.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I thought it was only the old Strain, coaxing him still +for your own, and railing at all the young Fellows about Town; in my +Mind now, you are as ill plagu'd with your Guardian, Madam, as my Lady +is with her Father.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> No, I have Liberty, Wench, that she wants; what would +she give now to be in this <i>dissabilee</i> in the—open Air, nay +more, in pursuit of the young Fellow she likes; for that's my Case, I +assure thee.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> As for that, Madam, she's even with you; for tho' +<span class = "pagenum">9</span> +<span class = "folionum">C</span> +she can't come abroad, we have a way to bring him home in spight of old +<i>Argus</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Now <i>Patch</i>, your Opinion of my Choice, for here +he comes— Ha! my Guardian with him; what can be the meaning of +this? I'm sure Sir <i>Francis</i> can't know me in this +Dress— Let's observe 'em.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(They withdraw.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">Francis +Gripe</span> and Sir <span class = "charname">George Airy</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Verily, Sir <i>George</i>, thou wilt repent throwing +away thy Money so, for I tell thee sincerely, <i>Miranda</i>, my Charge +do's not love a young Fellow, they are all vicious, and seldom make good +Husbands; in sober Sadness she cannot abide 'em.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> In sober +Sadness you are mistaken—what can this mean?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Look ye, Sir <i>Francis</i>, whether she can or +cannot abide young Fellows is not the Business; will you take the fifty +Guineas?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> In good truth— I will not, for I knew thy +Father, he was a hearty wary Man, and I cannot consent that his Son +should squander away what he sav'd, to no purpose.</p> + +<p><i>Mirand.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Now, in the +Name of Wonder, what +Bargain can he be driving about me for fifty Guineas?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I wish it ben't for the first Night's Lodging, +Madam.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, Sir <i>Francis</i>, since you are so +conscientious for my Father's sake, then permit me the Favour, +<i>Gratis</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> The Favour! +Oh my Life! I believe +'tis as you said, <i>Patch</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> No verily, if thou dost not buy thy Experience, thou +wou'd never be wise; therefore give me a Hundred and try Fortune.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> The Scruples arose, I find, from the scanty +Sum— Let me see—a Hundred Guineas— <span class = +"insetdir">(Takes 'em out of +a Purse and chinks 'em.)</span> Ha! they have a very pretty Sound, and a +very pleasing Look— But then, <i>Miranda</i>— But if she +should be cruel—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> As Ten to +One I shall—</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">10</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, do consider on't, He, he, he, he.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, I'll do't.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Do't, what, whether you will or no, Madam?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Come to the Point, here's the Gold, sum up the +Conditions—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Pulling out a +Paper.)</span></p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Ay for +Heaven's sake do, for my +Expectation is on the Rack.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well at your own Peril be it.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Aye, aye, go on.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran. Imprimis</i>, you are to be admitted into my +House in order to move your Suit to <i>Miranda</i>, for the space of Ten +Minutes, without Lett or Molestation, provided I remain in the same +Room.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But out of Ear shot—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, well, I don't desire to hear what you say, Ha, +ha, ha, in consideration I am to have that Purse and a hundred +Guineas.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Take it—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Gives him the Purse.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> So, 'tis +well it's no worse, I'll fit +you both—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And this Agreement is to be perform'd to Day.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Aye, aye, the sooner the better, poor Fool, how +<i>Miranda</i> and I shall laugh at him— Well, Sir <i>George</i>, +Ha, ha, ha, take the last sound of your Guineas, Ha, ha, ha.</p> +<div class = "stagedir"><span class = "stagedir">(Chinks +'em.)</span>(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Sure he does +not know I am +<i>Miranda</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A very extraordinary Bargain I have made truly, if +she should be really in Love with this old Cuff now— Psha, that's +morally impossible—but then what hopes have I to succeed, I never +spoke to her—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Say you so? +Then I am safe.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What tho' my Tongue never spoke, my Eyes said a +thousand Things, and my Hopes flatter'd me hers answer'd 'em. If I'm +lucky—if not, 'tis but a hundred Guineas thrown away.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(<span class = "charname">Miranda</span> and +<span class = "charname">Patch</span> come forwards.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Upon what Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">11</span> +<span class = "folionum">C2</span> +Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! my <i>Incognito</i>—upon a Woman, Madam.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> They are the worst Things you can deal in, and damage +the soonest; your very Breath destroys 'em, and I fear you'll never see +your Return, Sir <i>George</i>, Ha, ha!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Were they more brittle than <i>China</i>, and drop'd +to pieces with a Touch, every Atom of her I have ventur'd at, if she is +but Mistress of thy Wit, ballances Ten times the Sum— Prithee let +me see thy Face.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> By no means, that may spoil your Opinion of my +Sense—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Rather confirm it, Madam.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> So rob the Lady of your Gallantry, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No Child, a Dish of Chocolate in the Morning never +spoils my Dinner; the other Lady, I design a set Meal; so there's no +danger—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Matrimony! Ha, ha, ha; what Crimes have you committed +against the God of Love, that he should revenge 'em so severely to stamp +Husband upon your Forehead—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> For my Folly in having so often met you here, without +pursuing the Laws of Nature, and exercising her command— But I +resolve e'er we part now, to know who you are, where you live, and what +kind of Flesh and Blood your Face is; therefore unmask and don't put me +to the trouble of doing it for you.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> My Face is the same Flesh and Blood with my Hand, Sir +<i>George</i>, which if you'll be so rude to provoke.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You'll apply it to my Cheek— The Ladies Favours +are always Welcome; but I must have that Cloud withdrawn. <span class = +"insetdir">(Taking +hold of her.)</span> Remember you are in the <i>Park</i>, Child, and +what a terrible thing would it be to lose this pretty white Hand.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> And how will it sound in a <i>Chocolate-House</i>, that +Sir <i>George Airy</i> rudely pull'd off a Ladies Mask, when he had +given her his Honour, that he never would, directly or indirectly +endeavour to know her till she gave him Leave.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I wish we were safe out.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But if that Lady thinks fit to pursue and meet me at +every turn like some troubl'd Spirit, shall I be blam'd +<span class = "pagenum">12</span> +if I inquire into the Reality? I would have nothing dissatisfy'd in a +Female Shape.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> What shall I do?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Pause.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, prithee consider, for thou shalt find me very +much at thy Service.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Suppose, Sir, the Lady shou'd be in Love with you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Oh! I'll return the Obligation in a Moment.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> And marry her?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, ha, ha, that's not the way to Love her Child.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> If he discovers me, I shall die— Which way shall +I escape?— Let me see.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Pauses.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, Madam—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I have it— Sir <i>George</i>, 'tis fit you should +allow something; if you'll excuse my Face, and turn your Back (if you +look upon me I shall sink, even mask'd as I am) I will confess why I +have engag'd you so often, who I am, and where I live?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, to show you I'm a Man of Honour I accept the +Conditions. Let me but once know those, and the Face won't be long a +Secret to me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> What mean you, Madam?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> To get off.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> 'Tis something indecent to turn ones Back upon a +Lady; but you command and I obey. <span class = "insetdir">(Turns his +Back.)</span> Come, Madam, +begin—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> First then it was my unhappy Lot to see you at +<i>Paris</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Draws back a little while and +speaks)</span> at a Ball +upon a Birth-Day; your Shape and Air charm'd my Eyes; your Wit and +Complaisance my Soul, and from that fatal Night I lov'd you. <span class += "insetdir">(Drawing +back.)</span> And when you left the Place, Grief seiz'd me so— No +Rest my Heart, no Sleep my Eyes cou'd know.—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +Last I resolv'd a hazardous Point to try,<br> +And quit the Place in search of Liberty.</div> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">13</span> +Sir <i>Geo.</i> Excellent— I hope she's Handsome— Well, Now, +Madam, to the other two Things: Your Name, and where you live?— I +am a Gentleman, and this Confession will not be lost upon me.— +Nay, prithee don't weep, but go on—for I find my Heart melts in thy +Behalf—speak quickly or I shall turn about— Not +yet.— Poor Lady, she expects I shou'd comfort her; and to do her +Justice, she has said enough to encourage me. <span class = +"insetdir">(Turns about.)</span> Ha? +gone! The Devil, jilted? Why, what a Tale has she invented—of +<i>Paris</i>, Balls, and Birth-Days.— Egad I'd give Ten Guineas to +know who this Gipsie is.— A Curse of my Folly— I deserve to +lose her; what Woman can forgive a Man that turns his Back.</p> + +<div class = "versespace"> +The Bold and Resolute, in Love and War,<br> +To Conquer take the Right, and swiftest way;<br> +The boldest Lover soonest gains the Fair,<br> +As Courage makes the rudest Force obey,<br> +Take no denial, and the Dames adore ye,<br> +Closely pursue them and they fall before ye.</div> + +<div class = "sceneplain">The End of the First ACT.</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">14</span> + +<div class = "act"><a name = "actII_1">ACT the Second.</a></div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">Francis +Gripe</span>, <span class = "charname">Miranda</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i><br> +<span class = "secondletter">H</span>A, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha; Oh, I shall die with +Laughing.— The most Romantick Adventure: Ha, ha! what does the +odious young Fop mean? A Hundred Pieces to talk an Hour with me; Ho, +ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> And I'm to be by too; there's the Jest; Adod, if it +had been in Private, I shou'd not have car'd to trust the young Dog.</p> + +<p><i>Mirand.</i> Indeed and Indeed, but you might +<i>Gardy</i>.— Now methinks there's no Body Handsomer than you; So +Neat, so Clean, so Good-Humour'd, and so Loving.—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Pritty Rogue, Pritty Rogue, and so thou shalt find +me, if thou do'st prefer thy <i>Gardy</i> before these Caperers of the +Age, thou shalt out-shine the Queen's Box on an <i>Opera</i> Night; thou +shalt be the Envy of the Ring (for I will Carry thee to +<i>Hide-Park</i>) and thy Equipage shall Surpass, the what—d'ye +call 'em Ambassadors.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, I'm sure the Discreet Part of my Sex will Envy me +more for the Inside Furniture, when you are in it, than my Outside +Equipage.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> A Cunning Bagage, a faith thou art, and a wise one +too; and to show thee thou hast not chose amiss, I'll this moment +Disinherit my Son, and Settle my whole Estate upon thee.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> There's an old Rogue now: <span class = +"insetdir">(Aside.)</span> No, +<i>Gardy</i>, I would not have your Name be so Black in the +World— You know my Father's Will runs, that I am not to possess my +Estate, without your Consent, till I'm Five and Twenty; you shall only +abate the odd Seven Years, and make me Mistress of my Estate to Day, and +I'll make you Master of my Person to Morrow.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">15</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> Humph? that may not be safe— No <i>Chargy</i>, +I'll Settle it upon thee for <i>Pin-mony</i>; and that will be every bit +as well, thou know'st.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Unconscionable old Wretch, Bribe me with my own +Money— Which way shall I get out of his Hands?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, what art thou thinking on, my Girl, ha? How to +Banter Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I must not pretend to Banter: He knows my Tongue too +well: <span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> No, <i>Gardy</i>, I have +thought of a way will +Confound him more than all I cou'd say, if I shou'd talk to him Seven +Years.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> How's that? Oh! I'm Transported, I'm Ravish'd, I'm +Mad—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> It wou'd make you Mad, if you knew All, <span class = +"insetdir">(Aside.)</span> +I'll not Answer him one Word, but be Dumb to all he says—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Dumb, good; Ha, ha, ha. Excellent, ha, ha, I think I +have you now, Sir <i>George</i>: Dumb! he'll go Distracted— Well, +she's the wittiest Rogue— Ha, ha, Dumb! I can but Laugh, ha, ha, to +think how damn'd Mad he'll be when he finds he has given his Money away +for a a Dumb Show. Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, <i>Gardy</i>, if he did but know my Thoughts of +him, it wou'd make him ten times Madder: Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, so it wou'd <i>Chargy</i>, to hold him in such +Derision, to scorn to Answer him, to be Dumb: Ha, ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> How now, Sirrah, Who let you in?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> My Necessity, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Sir, your Necessities are very Impertinent, and +ought to have sent before they Entred.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Sir, I knew 'twas a Word wou'd gain Admittance no +where.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Then, Sirrah, how durst you Rudely thrust that upon +your Father, which no Body else wou'd admit?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">16</span> +<i>Char.</i> Sure the Name of a Son is a sufficient Plea. I ask this +Lady's Pardon if I have intruded.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, Ay, ask her Pardon and her Blessing too, if you +expect any thing from me.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I believe yours, Sir <i>Francis</i>, in a Purse of +Guinea's wou'd be more material. Your Son may have Business with you, +I'll retire.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> I guess his Business, but I'll dispatch him, I +expect the Knight every Minute: You'll be in Readiness.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Certainly! my Expectation is more upon the wing than +yours, old Gentleman.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">[Exit.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, Sir!</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Nay, it is very Ill, Sir; my Circumstances are, I'm +sure.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> And what's that to me, Sir: Your Management shou'd +have made them better.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> If you please to intrust me with the Management of my +Estate, I shall endeavour it, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What to set upon a Card, and buy a Lady's Favour at +the Price of a Thousand Pieces, to Rig out an Equipage for a Wench, or +by your Carelessness enrich your Steward to fine for Sheriff, or put up +for Parliament-Man.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I hope I shou'd not spend it this way: However, I ask +only for what my Uncle left me; Your's you may dispose of as you please, +Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> That I shall, out of your Reach, I assure you, Sir. +Adod these young Fellows think old Men get Estates for nothing but them +to squander away, in Dicing, Wenching, Drinking, Dressing, and so +forth.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I think I was born a Gentleman, Sir; I'm sure my Uncle +bred me like one.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> From which you wou'd infer, Sir, that Gaming, +Whoring, and the Pox, are Requisits to a Gentleman.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Monstrous! when I wou'd ask him only for a Support, he +falls into these unmannerly Reproaches; I must, tho' against my Will, +employ Invention, and by Stratagem relieve my self.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">17</span> +<span class = "folionum">D</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> Sirrah, what is it you mutter, Sirrah, ha? <span class += "insetdir">(Holds up +his Cane.)</span> I say, you sha'n't have a Groat out of my Hands till I +Please—and may be I'll never Please, and what's that to you?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Nay, to be Robb'd, or have one's Throat Cut is not +much—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What's that, Sirrah? wou'd ye Rob me, or Cut my +Throat, ye Rogue?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Heaven forbid, Sir,— I said no such thing.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Mercy on me! What a Plague it is to have a Son of +One and Twenty, who wants to Elbow one out of one's Life, to Edge +himself into the Estate.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Egad he's here— I was afraid I had lost him: His +Secret cou'd not be with his Father, his Wants are Publick +there— Guardian,—your Servant <i>Charles</i>, I know by that +sorrowful Countenance of thine. The old Man's Fist is as close as his +strong Box— But I'll help thee—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> So: Here's another extravagant Coxcomb, that will +spend his Fortune before he comes to't; but he shall pay swinging +Interest, and so let the Fool go on— Well, what do's Necessity +bring you too, Sir?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> You have hit it, Guardian— I want a Hundred +Pound.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> For what?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Po'gh, for a Hundred Things, I can't for my Life tell +you for what.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Sir, I suppose I have received all the Answer I am like +to have.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Oh, the Devil, if he gets out before me, I shall lose +him agen.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, Sir, and you may be marching as soon as you +please— I must see a Change in your Temper e'er you find one in +mine.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pray, Sir, dispatch me; the Money, Sir, I'm in mighty +haste.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">18</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> Fool, take this and go to the Cashier; I sha'n't be +long plagu'd with thee.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Gives him a Note.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Devil take the Cashier, I shall certainly have +<i>Charles</i> gone before I come back agen.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Runs out.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Well, Sir, I take my Leave— But remember, you +Expose an only Son to all the Miseries of wretched Poverty, which too +often lays the Plan for Scenes of Mischief.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Stay, <i>Charles</i>, I have a sudden Thought come +into my Head, may prove to thy Advantage.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Ha, does he Relent?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> My Lady <i>Wrinkle</i>, worth Forty Thousand Pound, +sets up for a Handsome young Husband; she prais'd thee t'other Day; tho' +the Match-makers can get Twenty Guinea's for a sight of her, I can +introduce thee for nothing.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> My Lady <i>Wrinkle</i>, Sir, why she has but one +Eye.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Then she'll see but half your Extravagance, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Condemn me to such a piece of Deformity! Toothless, +Dirty, Wry-neck'd, Hunch-back'd Hag.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Hunch-back'd! so much the better, then she has a +Rest for her Misfortunes; for thou wilt Load her swingingly. Now I +warrant you think, this is no Offer of a Father; Forty Thousand Pound is +nothing with you.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Yes, Sir, I think it is too much; a young Beautiful +Woman with half the Money wou'd be more agreeable. I thank you, Sir; but +you Chose better for your self, I find.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Out of my Doors, you Dog; you pretend to meddle with +my Marriage, Sirrah.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Sir, I obey: But—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> But me no Buts— Be gone, Sir: Dare to ask me +for Money agen— Refuse Forty Thousand Pound! Out of my Doors, I +say, without Reply.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit <span class = +"charname">Char</span>.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servant.</div> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> One Sir <i>George Airy</i> enquires for you, Sir.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">19</span> +<span class = "folionum">D2</span></p> +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Marplot</span> +Running.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i>. Ha? gone! Is <i>Charles</i> gone, Guardian?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Yes; and I desire your wise Worship to walk after +him.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Nay, Egad, I shall Run, I tell you but that. Ah, Pox of +the Cashier for detaining me so long, where the Devil shall I find him +now. I shall certainly lose this Secret.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit, hastily.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What is the Fellow distracted?— Desire Sir +<i>George</i> to walk up— Now for a Tryal of Skill that will make +me Happy, and him a Fool: Ha, ha, ha, in my Mind he looks like an Ass +already.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">George</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, Sir <i>George</i>, Dee ye hold in the same +Mind? or wou'd you Capitulate? Ha, ha, ha: Look, here are the Guinea's, +<span class = "insetdir">(Chinks them.)</span> Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Not if they were twice the Sum, Sir <i>Francis</i>: +Therefore be brief, call in the Lady, and take your Post—if she's +a Woman, and, not seduc'd by Witchcraft to this old Rogue, I'll make his +Heart ake; for if she has but one Grain of Inclination about her, I'll +vary a Thousand Shapes, but find it.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname"><ins class = +"correction" title = "so in original">Mirand</ins></span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Agreed—<i>Miranda.</i> There Sir +<i>George</i>, try your Fortune, <span class = "insetdir">(Takes out his +Watch.)</span></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i></p> +<div class = "plainverse"> +So from the Eastern Chambers breaks the Sun,<br> +Dispels the Clouds, and gilds the Vales below. +</div> +<div class = "stagedir">(Salutes her.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Hold, Sir, Kissing was not in our Agreement.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Oh! That's by way of Prologue:— Prithee, Old +Mammon, to thy Post.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, young <i>Timon</i>, 'tis now 4 exactly; one +Hour, remember is your utmost Limit, not a Minute more.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Retires to the bottom of the Stage.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Madam, whether you will Excuse or Blame my Love, the +Author of this rash Proceeding depends upon your Pleasure, as also the +Life of your Admirer; your +<span class = "pagenum">20</span> +sparkling Eyes speak a Heart susceptible of Love; your Vivacity a Soul +too delicate to admit the Embraces of decay'd Mortality.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> Oh, that I +durst speak—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Shake off this Tyrant <i>Guardian</i>'s Yoke, assume +your self, and dash his bold aspiring Hopes; the Deity of his Desires, +is Avarice; a Heretick in Love, and ought to be banish'd by the Queen of +Beauty. See, Madam, a faithful Servant kneels and begs to be admitted in +the Number of your Slaves.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Miranda <i>gives him her Hand to Raise +him.</i></div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> I wish I cou'd hear what he says now. <span class = +"insetdir">(Running +up.)</span> Hold, hold, hold, no Palming, that's contrary to +Articles—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Death, Sir, Keep your Distance, or I'll write another +Article in your Guts.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Lays his Hand to his Sword.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Going back.)</span> A +Bloody-minded +Fellow!—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Not Answer me! Perhaps she thinks my Address too +Grave: I'll be more free— Can you be so Unconscionable, Madam, to +let me say all these fine things to you without one single Compliment in +Return? View me well, am I not a proper Handsome Fellow, ha? Can you +prefer that old, dry, wither'd, sapless Log of Sixty-five, to the +vigorous, gay, sprightly Love of Twenty-four? With Snoring only he'll +awake thee, but I with Ravishing Delight wou'd make thy Senses Dance in +Consort with the Joyful Minutes—ha? not yet, sure she is +Dumb— Thus wou'd I steal and touch thy Beauteous Hand, <span class += "insetdir">(Takes +bold of her Hand)</span> till by degrees I reach'd thy snowy Breasts, +then Ravish Kisses thus,</p> + +<div class = "stagedir">(Embraces her in Extasie.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Strugles and flings from +him.)</span> Oh Heavens! I +shall not be able to contain my self.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Running up with his Watch +in his Hand.)</span> Sure +she did not speak to him— There's Three Quarters of the Hour gone, +Sir <i>George</i>— Adod, I don't like those close +Conferences—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> More Interruptions— You will have it, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Lays his Hand to his Sword.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">21</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Going back.)</span> No, no, +you shan't have her +neither.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Dumb still—sure this old Dog has enjoyn'd her +Silence; I'll try another way— I must conclude, Madam, that in +Compliance to your Guardian's Humour, you refuse to answer +me— Consider the Injustice of his Injunction. This single Hour cost +me a Hundred Pound—and wou'd you answer me, I cou'd purchase the +24 so: However, Madam, you must give me leave to make the best +Interpretation I can for my Money, and take the Indication of your +Silence for the secret Liking of my Person: Therefore, Madam, I will +instruct you how to keep your Word inviolate to Sir <i>Francis</i>, and +yet Answer me to every Question: As for Example, When I ask any thing, +to which you wou'd Reply in the Affirmative, gently Nod your +Head—thus; and when in the Negative thus; <span class = +"insetdir">(Shakes his +Head.)</span> and in the doubtful a tender Sigh, thus</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sighs.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> How every Action charms me—but I'll fit him for +Signs I warrant him.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, ha, poor Sir <i>George</i>, Ha, ha, ha, +ha.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Was it by his desire that you are Dumb, Madam, to all +that I can say?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Nods.)</span></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Very well! she's tractable I find— And is it +possible that you can love him? Miraculous! <span class = +"insetdir">(<span class = "charname">Miran.</span> Nods.)</span> Pardon +the bluntness of my +Questions, for my Time is short; may I not hope to supplant him in your +Esteem? <span class = "insetdir">(<span class = "charname">Miran.</span> +Sighs.)</span> Good! she +answers me as I could wish— You'll not consent to marry him then? +<span class = "insetdir">(<span class = "charname">Miran.</span> +Sighs.)</span> How, doubtful in +that— Undone again— Humph! but that may proceed from his +Power to keep her out of her Estate till Twenty Five; I'll try +that— Come, Madam, I cannot think you hesitate in this Affair out +of any Motive, but your Fortune— Let him keep it till those few +Years are expir'd; make me Happy with your Person, let him enjoy your +Wealth—<span class = "insetdir">(<span class = +"charname">Miran.</span> holds up her +Hands.)</span> Why, +<span class = "pagenum">22</span> +what Sign is that now? Nay, nay, Madam, except you observe my Lesson, I +can't understand your meaning—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What a Vengeance, are they talking by Signs, 'ad I +may be fool'd here; what do you mean, Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> To Cut your Throat if you dare Mutter another +Syllable.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Od! I wish he were fairly out of my House.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Pray, Madam, will you answer me to the Purpose? +<span class = "insetdir">(<span class = "charname">Miran.</span> shakes +her Head, and points +to Sir <span class = "charname">Francis</span>.)</span> What! does she +mean she won't answer me to the purpose, or is she afraid yon' old Cuff +should understand her Signs?— Aye, it must be that, I perceive, +Madam, you are too apprehensive of the Promise you have made to follow +my Rules; therefore I'll suppose your Mind and answer for +you— First, for my self, Madam, that I am in Love with you is an +infallible Truth. Now for you: <span class = "insetdir">(Turns on her +side.)</span> Indeed, Sir, +and may I believe it— As certainly, Madam, as that 'tis Day light, +or that I Die if you persist in Silence— Bless me with the Musick +of your Voice, and raise my Spirits to their proper Heaven: Thus low let +me intreat; e'er I'm oblig'd to quit this Place, grant me some Token of +a favourable Reception to keep my Hopes alive. <span class = +"insetdir">(Arises hastily turns +of her side.)</span> Rise, Sir, and since my Guardian's Presence will +not allow me Privilege of Tongue, Read that and rest assured you are not +indifferent to me. <span class = "insetdir">(Offers her a +Letter.)</span> Ha! right Woman! But no +<span class = "insetdir">(She strikes it down.)</span> matter I'll go +on.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha! what's that a Letter— Ha, ha, ha, thou art +baulk'd.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> The best Assurance I ever saw—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha? a Letter, Oh! let me Kiss it with the same +Raptures that I would do the dear Hand that touch'd it. <span class = +"insetdir">(Opens +it.)</span> Now for a quick Fancy and a long <i>Extempore</i>— +What's here? <span class = "insetdir">(Reads.)</span> +"Dear, Sir <i>George</i>, this Virgin Muse I +consecrate to you, which when it has receiv'd the Addition of your +Voice, 'twill Charm me into Desire of Liberty to Love, which you, and +only you can +<span class = "pagenum">23</span> +fix." My Angel! Oh you transport me! <span class = "insetdir">(Kisses +the Letter.)</span> And see +the Power of your Command; the God of Love has set the Verse already; +the flowing Numbers Dance into a Tune, and I'm inspir'd with a Voice to +sing it.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I'm sure thou art inspir'd with Impudence enough.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Sings.)</span></p> +<div class = "verse"> +Great Love inspire him;<br> +Say I admire him.<br> +Give me the Lover<br> +That can discover<br> +Secret Devotion<br> +from silent Motion;<br> +Then don't betray me,<br> +But hence convey me. +</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Taking hold of <span class += "charname">Miranda</span>.)</span> With all my Heart, this Moment +let's Retire. <span class = "insetdir">(Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span> coming up hastily.)</span></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> The Hour is expir'd, Sir, and you must take your +leave. There, my Girl, there's the Hundred Pound which thou hast won, +go, I'll be with you presently, Ha, ha, ha, ha.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit <span class = +"charname">Miranda</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ads Heart, Madam, you won't leave me just in the +Nick, will you?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, she has nick'd you, Sir <i>George</i>, I +think, Ha, ha, ha: Have you any more Hundred Pounds to throw away upon +Courtship, Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> He, he, he, he, a Curse of your fleering +Jests— Yet, however ill I succeeded, I'll venture the same Wager, +she does not value thee a spoonful of Snuff— Nay more, though you +enjoyn'd her Silence to me, you'll never make her speak to the Purpose +with your self.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, did not I tell thee thou would'st repent +thy Money? Did not I say she hated young Fellow's, Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And I'm positive she's not in Love with Age.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, no matter for that, Ha, ha, she's not taken +with your Youth, nor your Rhetorick to boot, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Whate'er her Reasons are for disliking<ins class = +"correction" title = "reading uncertain"> a </ins>me, I am certain she +can be taken with nothing about thee.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">24</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha; how he swells with Envy!— Poor Man, +poor Man— Ha, ha; I must beg your Pardon, Sir <i>George, +Miranda</i> will be Impatient to have her share of Mirth: Verily we +shall Laugh at thee most Egregiously; Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> With all my Heart, faith—I shall Laugh in my +Turn too— For if you dare marry her old <i>Belzebub</i>, you would +be Cuckolded most Egregiously; Remember that, and Tremble—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +She that to Age her Beauteous Self resigns,<br> +Shows witty Management for close Designs.<br> +Then if thou'rt grac'd with fair <span class = +"charname">Miranda</span>'s Bed,<br> +<span class = "charname">Actæon</span>'s Horns she Means, shall Crown +thy Head. +</div> + +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha; he is mad.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +These fluttering Fops imagine they can Wind,<br> +Turn, and Decoy to Love, all Women-kind:<br> +But here's a Proof of Wisdom in my Charge,<br> +Old Men are Constant, Young Men live at Large.<br> +The Frugal Hand can Bills at Sight defray,<br> +When he that Lavish is, has Nought to pay. +</div> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actII_2"> </a> +<div class = "scene"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> Changes to +Sir <span class = "charname">Jealous Traffick</span>'s House.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">Jealous, +Isabinda; Patch</span> following.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What in the Balcone agen, notwithstanding my +positive Commands to the contrary!— Why don't you write a Bill upon +your Forehead, to show Passengers there's something to be Let—</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What harm can there be in a little fresh Air, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Is your Constitution so hot, Mistriss, that it wants +cooling, ha? Apply the Virtuous <i>Spanish</i> Rules, banish your Tast, +and Thoughts of Flesh, feed upon Roots, and quench your Thirst with +Water.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> That, and a close Room, wou'd certainly make me die of +the Vapours.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">25</span> +<span class = "folionum">E</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> No, Mistriss, 'tis your High-fed, Lusty, Rambling, +Rampant Ladies—that are troubl'd with the Vapours; 'tis your +Ratifia, Persico, Cynamon, Citron, and Spirit of Clary, cause such +Swi—m—ing in the Brain, that carries many a Guinea full-tide +to the Doctor. But you are not to be Bred this way; No Galloping abroad, +no receiving Visits at home; for in our loose Country, the Women are as +dangerous as the Men.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> So I told her, Sir; and that it was not Decent to be +seen in a Balcone— But she threaten'd to slap my Chaps, and told +me, I was her Servant, not her Governess.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Did she so? But I'll make her to know, that you are +her <i>Duenna</i>: Oh that incomparable Custom of <i>Spain!</i> why +here's no depending upon old Women in my Country—for they are as +Wanton at Eighty, as a Girl of Eighteen; and a Man may as safely trust +to <i>Asgill</i>'s Translation, as to his great Grand-Mother's not +marrying agen.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Or to the <i>Spanish</i> Ladies Veils, and +<i>Duenna's</i>, for the Safeguard of their Honour.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Dare to Ridicule the Cautious Conduct of that wise +Nation, and I'll have you Lock'd up this Fortnight, without a +Peephole.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> If we had but the Ghostly Helps in <i>England</i>, which +they have in <i>Spain</i>, I might deceive you if you did,— Sir, +'tis not the Restraint, but the Innate Principles, secures the +Reputation and Honour of our Sex— Let me tell you, Sir, +Confinement +sharpens the Invention, as want of Sight strengthens the other Senses, +and is often more Pernicious than the Recreation innocent Liberty +allows.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Say you so, Mistress, who the Devil taught you the +Art of Reasoning? I assure you, they must have a greater Faith than I +pretend to, that can think any Woman innocent who requires Liberty. +Therefore, <i>Patch</i>, to your Charge I give her; Lock her up till I +come back from Change: I shall have some sauntring Coxcomb, with nothing +but a Red Coat and a Feather, think, by Leaping into her Arms, to Leap +into my Estate— But I'll prevent them, she shall be only Signeur +<i>Babinetto</i>'s.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">26</span> +<i>Patch.</i> Really, Sir, I wish you wou'd employ any Body else in this +Affair; I lead a Life like a Dog with obeying your Commands. Come, +Madam, will you please to be Lock'd up.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Ay, to enjoy more Freedom than he is aware of. +<span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit with <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I believe this Wench is very true to my Interest: I +am happy I met with her, if I can but keep my Daughter from being blown +upon till Signeur <i>Babinetto</i> arrives; who shall marry her as soon +as he comes, and carry her to <i>Spain</i> as soon as he has marry'd +her; she has a pregnant Wit, and I'd no more have her an <i>English</i> +Wife, than the Grand Signior's Mistress.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Whisper</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> So, I see Sir <i>Jealous</i> go out; where shall I find +Mrs. <i>Patch</i> now.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh Mr. <i>Whisper</i>, my Lady saw you out at the +Window, and order'd me to bid you fly, and let your Master know she's +now alone.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Hush, Speak softly; I go, go: But hark'e Mrs. +<i>Patch</i>, shall not you and I have a little Confabulation, when my +Master and your Lady is engag'd?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ay, Ay, Farewell.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Goes in, and shuts the Door.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Re-enter Sir <span class = "charname">Jealous +Traffick</span> meeting <span class = "charname">Whisper</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Sure whil'st I was talking with Mr. +<i>Tradewell</i>, I heard my Door clap. <span class = "insetdir">(Seeing +<span class = "charname">Whisper</span>.)</span> Ha! a Man lurking about +my House; who do +you want there, Sir?</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Want—want, a pox, Sir <i>Jealous!</i> what must I +say now?—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ay, want; have you a Letter or Message for any Body +there?— O my Conscience, this is some He-Bawd—</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Letter or Message, Sir!</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">27</span> +<span class = "folionum">E2</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ay, Letter or Message, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> No, not I, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Sirrah, Sirrah, I'll have you set in the Stocks, if +you don't tell me your Business immediately.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Nay, Sir, my Business—is no great matter of +Business neither; and yet 'tis Business of Consequence too.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Sirrah, don't trifle with me.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Trifle, Sir, have you found him, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Found what, you Rascal.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Why <i>Trifle</i> is the very Lap-Dog my Lady lost, +Sir; I fancy'd I see him run into this House. I'm glad you have +him— Sir, my Lady will be over-joy'd that 1 have found him.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Who is your Lady Friend?</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> My Lady Love-puppy, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> My Lady Love-puppy! then prithee carry thy self to +her, for I know no other Whelp that belongs to her; and let me catch ye +no more Puppy-hunting about my Doors, lest I have you prest into the +Service, Sirrah.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> By no means, Sir— Your humble Servant; I must +watch whether he goes, or no, before I can tell my Master.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> This Fellow has the Officious Leer of a Pimp; and I +half suspect a Design, but I'll be upon them before they think on me, I +warrant 'em.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actII_3"> </a> +<div class = "scene"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> <span class += "charname">Charles</span>'s Lodging.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Charles</span> +and <span class = "charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Honest <i>Marplot</i>, I thank thee for this Supply; I +expect my Lawyer with a Thousand Pound I have order'd him to take up, +and then you shall be Repaid.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pho, pho, no more of that: Here comes Sir <i>George +Airy</i>—</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">George</span>.</div> + +<p>Cursedly out of Humour at his Disappointment; see how he looks! Ha, +ha, ha.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">28</span> +Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ah, <i>Charles</i>, I am so humbled in my Pretensions to +Plots upon Women, that I believe I shall never have Courage enough to +attempt a Chamber-maid agen—I'll tell thee.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Ha, ha; I'll spare you the Relation by telling +you— Impatient to know your Business with my Father, when I saw +you Enter, I slipt back into the next Room, where I overheard every +Syllable.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> That I said— But I'll be hang'd if you heard her +Answer—. But prithee tell me, <i>Charles</i>, is she a Fool?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I ne'er suspected her for one; but <i>Marplot</i> can +inform you better, if you'll allow him a Judge.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> A Fool! I'll justifie she has more Wit than all the +rest of her Sex put together; why she'll Rally me, till I han't one word +to say for my self.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> A mighty Proof of her Wit truly—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> There must be some Trick in't, Sir <i>George</i>; Egad +I'll find it out if it cost me the Sum you paid for't.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Do and Command me—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Enough, let me alone to Trace a Secret.—</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Whisper</span>, +and speaks aside to his Master.</div> + +<p>The Devil! <i>Whisper</i> here agen, that Fellow never speaks out; is +this the same, or a new Secret? Sir <i>George</i>, won't you ask +<i>Charles</i> what News <i>Whisper</i> brings?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Not I, Sir; I suppose it does not relate to me.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Lord, Lord, how little Curiosity some People have! Now +my chief Pleasure lies in knowing every Body's Business.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I fancy, <i>Charles</i>, thou hast some Engagement +upon thy Hands: I have a little Business too. <i>Marplot</i>, if it +falls in your way to bring me any Intelligence from <i>Miranda</i>, +you'll find me at the Thatch'd House at Six—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> You do me much Honour.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> You guess right, Sir <i>George</i>, wish me Success.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Better than attended me. <i>Adieu</i>.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Char. Marplot</i>, you must Excuse me.—</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">29</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> Nay, nay, what need of any Excuse amongst Friends! I'll go +with you.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Indeed you must not.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> No, then I suppose 'tis a Duel, and I will go to secure +ye.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Secure me, why you won't fight.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What then! I can call People to part ye.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Well, but it is no Duel, Consequently no Danger. +Therefore prithee be Answer'd.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What is't a Mistress then?— Mum— You know I +can be silent upon occasion.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I wish you cou'd be Civil too: I tell you, You neither +Must nor Shall go with me. Farewel.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why then— I Must and Will follow you.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">Exit.</div> + +<div class = "scene">The End of the Second Act.</div> + + +<div class = "act"><a name = "actIII_1">ACT the Third</a></div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i><br> +<span class = "secondletter">W</span>ELL, here's the House, which holds +the Lovely Prize quiet and serene; here no noisie Footmen throng to tell +the World, that Beauty dwells within; no Ceremonious Visit makes the +Lover wait; no Rival to give my Heart a Pang; who wou'd not scale the +Window at Midnight without fear of the Jealous Father's Pistol, rather +than fill up the Train of a Coquet, where every Minute he is jostled out +of Place. <span class = "insetdir">(Knocks softly.)</span> Mrs. +<i>Patch</i>, Mrs. +<i>Patch.</i></p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh, are you come, Sir? All's safe.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> So in, in then.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">30</span> +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> There he goes: Who the Devil lives here? Except I can +find out that, I am as far from knowing his Business as ever; gad I'll +watch, it may be a Bawdy-House, and he may have his Throat cut; if there +shou'd be any Mischief, I can make Oath, he went in. Well, +<i>Charles</i>, in spight of your Endeavour to keep me out of the +Secret; I may save your Life, for ought I know: At that Corner I'll +plant my self; there I shall see whoever goes in, or comes out. Gad, I +love Discoveries.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc"><span class = "charname">SCENE</span> Draws. +<span class = "charname">Charles, Isabinda,</span> and <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Isab. Patch</i>, look out sharp; have a care of Dad.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I warrant you.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Well, Sir, if I may judge your Love by your Courage, I +ought to believe you sincere; for you venture into the Lyons Den when +you come to see me.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> If you'd consent whilst the furious Beast is abroad, I'd +free you from the Reach of his Paws.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> That wou'd be but to avoid one Danger, by running into +another; like the poor Wretches, who fly the Burning Ship, and meet +their Fate in the Water. Come, come, <i>Charles</i>, I fear if I consult +my Reason, Confinement and Plenty is better than Liberty and Starving. I +know you'd make the Frolick pleasing for a little time, by Saying and +Doing a World of tender things; but when our small Substance is once +Exhausted, and a Thousand Requisits for Life are Wanting; Love, who +rarely dwells with Poverty, wou'd also fail us.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Faith, I fancy not; methinks my Heart has laid up a +Stock will last for Life; to back which, I have taken a Thousand Pound +upon my Uncle's Estate; that surely will support us, till one of our +Fathers relent.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> There's no trusting to that my Friend, I doubt your +Father will carry his Humour to the Grave, and mine till he sees me +settled in <i>Spain</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> And can ye then cruelly Resolve to stay till that +<span class = "pagenum">31</span> +curs'd <i>Don</i> arrives, and suffer that Youth, Beauty, Fire and Wit, +to be sacrific'd to the Arms of a dull <i>Spaniard</i>, to be Immur'd +and forbid the Sight of any thing that's Humane.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> No, when it comes to the Extremity, and no Stratagem can +Relieve us, thou shalt List for a Soldier, and I'll carry thy Knapsack +after thee.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Bravely Resolv'd; the World cannot be more Savage than +our Parents, and Fortune generally assists the Bold; therefore Consent +now: Why shou'd we put it to a future Hazard? who knows when we shall +have another Opportunity?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Oh, you have your Ladder of Ropes, I suppose, and the +Closet Window stands just where it did; and if you han't forgot to write +in Characters, <i>Patch</i> will find a way for our Assignations. Thus +much of the <i>Spanish</i> Contrivance, my Father's Severity has taught +me, I thank him; tho' I hate the Nation, I admire their Management in +these Affairs.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh, Madam, I see my Master coming up the Street.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh the Devil, wou'd I had my Ladder now; I thought you +had not expected him till Night; why, why, why, why; what shall I do, +Madam?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Oh, for Heaven's sake! don't go that way, you'll meet +him full in the Teeth: Oh unlucky Moment!—</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Adsheart, can you shut me into no Cupboard, Ram me into +no Chest, ha?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Impossible, Sir, he Searches every Hole in the +House.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Undone for ever! if he sees you, I shall never see you +more.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I have thought on't: Run you to your Chamber, Madam; +and Sir, come you along with me, I'm certain you may easily get down +from the Balcone.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> My Life, <i>Adieu</i>— Lead on, Guide.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Heaven preserve him.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actIII_2"> </a> +<span class = "pagenum">32</span> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> Changes +to the Street.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>, with <span class = "charname">Marplot</span> +behind him.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I don't know what's the matter; but I have a strong +Suspicion, all is not right within; that Fellow's sauntring about my +Door, and his Tale of a Puppy, had the Face of a Lye, methought. By St. +<i>Jago</i>, if I shou'd find a Man in the House, I'd make Mince-Meat of +him—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ah, poor <i>Charles</i>—ha? Agad he is +old— I fancy I might bully him, and make <i>Charles</i> have an +Opinion of my Courage.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> My own Key shall let me in; I'll give them no +Warning.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Feeling for his Key.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What's that you say, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Going up to Sir +<span class = "charname">Jealous</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What's that to you, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Turns quick upon him.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Yes, 'tis to me, Sir; for the Gentleman you threaten is +a very honest Gentleman. Look to't, for if he comes not as safe out of +your House, as he went in, I have half a Dozen <i>Mirmidons</i> hard-by +shall beat it about your Ears.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Went in; what is he in then? Ah! a Combination to +undo me— I'll <i>Mirmidon</i> you, ye Dog you— Thieves, +Thieves.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(<ins class = "correction" title = +"so in original">Beat<span class = "charname">'s Marplot</span></ins> +all this while he cries <span class = "charname">Thieves</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Murder, Murder; I was not in your House, Sir.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servant.</div> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> What's the matter, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> The Matter, Rascals? Have you let a Man into my +House; but I'll flea him Alive, follow me, I'll not leave a Mousehole +unsearch'd; if I find him, by St. <i>Jago</i>, I'll Equip him for the +<i>Opera.</i></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> A Duce of his Cane, there's no trusting to +Age—what shall I do to Relieve <i>Charles!</i> Egad, I'll raise +the Neighbourhood— Murder, Murder— <span class = +"insetdir">(<span class = +"charname">Charles</span> drops down upon him from the Balcone.)</span> +<i>Charles</i> faith I'm glad to see thee safe out, with all my +Heart.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> A Pox of your Bawling: How the Devil came you here?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">33</span> +<span class = "folionum">F</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> Here, gad I have done you a piece of Service; I told the +old Thunderbolt, that the Gentleman that was gone in was—</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Was it you that told him, Sir? <span class = +"insetdir">(Laying hold of +him.)</span> Z'death, I cou'd crush thee into Atoms.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What will you choak me for my Kindness?—will my +Enquiring Soul never leave Searching into other Peoples Affairs, till it +gets squeez'd out of my Body? I dare not follow him now, for my Blood, +he's in such a Passion— I'll to <i>Miranda</i>; if I can discover +ought that may oblige Sir <i>George</i>, it may be a means to Reconcile +me agen to <i>Charles</i>.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span> and <span class = +"charname">Servants</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Are you sure you have search'd every where?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Yes, from the Top of the House to the Bottom.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Under the Beds, and over the Beds?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Yes, and in them too, but found no Body, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Why, what cou'd this Rogue mean?</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Isabinda</span> +and <span class = "charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Take Courage, Madam, I saw him safe out.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside to <span class = +"charname">Isab</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Bless me! what's the matter, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> You know best— Pray where's the Man that was +here just now?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What Man, Sir? I saw none!</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Nor I, by the Trust you repose in me; do you think I +wou'd let a Man come within these Doors, when you were absent?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ah <i>Patch</i>, she may be too cunning for thy +Honesty; the very Scout that he had set to give Warning discover'd it to +me—and threaten'd me with half a Dozen <i>Mirmidons</i>— But +I think I maul'd the Villain. These Afflictions you draw upon me, +Mistress!</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Pardon me, Sir, 'tis your own Ridiculous Humour draws +you into these Vexations, and gives every Fool pretence to banter +you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> No, 'tis your Idle Conduct, your Coquetish Flurting +into the Balcone— Oh with what Joy shall I resign thee into the +Arms of Don <i>Diego Babinetto!</i></p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">34</span> +<i>Isab.</i> And with what Industry shall I avoid him!</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Certainly that Rogue had a Message from some body or +other; but being baulk'd by my coming, popt that Sham upon me. Come +along, ye Sots, let's see if we can find the Dog again. <i>Patch</i>, +lock her up; D'ye hear?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit with Servants.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, Sir—ay, walk till your Heels ake, you'll +find no Body, I promise you.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Who cou'd that Scout be, which he talks of?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Nay, I can't imagine, without it was +<i>Whisper</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Well, dear <i>Patch</i>, let's employ all our Thoughts +how to escape this horrid Don <i>Diego</i>, my very Heart sinks at his +Terrible Name.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Fear not, Madam, Don <i>Carlo</i> shall be the Man, or +I'll lose the Reputation of Contriving, and then what's a Chambermaid +good for?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Say'st thou so, my Girl: Then—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +Let Dad be Jealous, multiply his Cares,<br> +While Love instructs me to avoid the Snares;<br> +I'll, spight of all his <span class = "charname">Spanish</span> Caution, +show<br> +How much for Love a <span class = "charname">British</span> Maid can do. +</div> + +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actIII_3"> </a> +<div class = "scene"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> Sir <span +class = "charname">Francis Gripe</span>'s House.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Sir <span class = "charname">Francis</span> and +<span class = "charname">Miranda</span> meeting.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Well, <i>Gardee</i>, how did I perform my Dumb +Scene?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> To Admiration— Thou dear little Rogue, let me +buss thee for it: Nay, adod, I will, <i>Chargee</i>, so muzle, and +tuzle, and hug thee; I will, I faith, I will.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Hugging and Kissing her.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, <i>Gardee</i>, don't be so lavish; who wou'd Ride +Post, when the Journey lasts for Life?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ah wag, ah wag— I'll buss thee agen for +that.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Faugh! how he stinks of Tobacco! what a delicate +Bedfellow I shou'd have!</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Oh I'm Transported! When, when, my Dear, wilt thou +Convince the World of thy Happy Day? when shall we marry, ha?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">35</span> +<span class = "folionum">F2</span> +<i>Miran.</i> There's nothing wanting but your Consent, Sir +<i>Francis</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> My Consent! what do's my Charmer mean?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, 'tis only a Whim: But I'll have every thing +according to form— Therefore when you sign an Authentick Paper, +drawn up by an able Lawyer, that I have your Leave to marry, the next +Day makes me yours, <i>Gardee</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, a Whim indeed! why is it not +Demonstration I give my Leave when I marry thee.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Not for your Reputation, <i>Gardee</i>; the malicious +World will be apt to say, you trick'd me into Marriage, and so take the +Merit from my Choice. Now I will have the Act my own, to let the idle +Fops see how much I prefer a Man loaded with Years and Wisdom.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Humph! Prithee leave out Years, <i>Chargee</i>, I'm +not so old, as thou shalt find: Adod, I'm young; there's a Caper for +ye.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Jumps.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh never excuse it, why I like you the better for being +old— But I shall suspect you don't love me, if you Refuse me this +Formality.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Not Love thee, <i>Chargee!</i> Adod I do love thee +better than, than, than, better than—what shall I say? Egad, +better than Money, I faith I do—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> That's false I'm sure <span class = +"insetdir">(Aside.)</span> To prove it do +this then.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, I will do it, <i>Chargee</i>, provided I bring +a License at the same time.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Ay, and a Parson too, if you please; Ha, ha, ha, I +can't help Laughing to think how all the young Coxcombs about Town will +be mortify'd when they hear of our Marriage.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> So they will, so they will; Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Well, I fancy I shall be so happy with my +<i>Gardee!</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> If wearing Pearls and Jewels, or eating Gold, as the +old Saying is, can make thee happy, thou shalt be so, my Sweetest, my +Lovely, my Charming, my—verily I know not what to call thee.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> You must know, <i>Gardee</i>, that I am so eager to +have this Business concluded, that I have employ'd my Womans Brother, +who is a Lawyer in the <i>Temple</i>, to settle Matters +<span class = "pagenum">36</span> +just to your Liking, you are to give your Consent to my Marriage, which +is to your self, you know: But Mum, you must take up notice of that. So +then I will, that is, with your Leave, put my Writings into his Hands; +then to Morrow we come slap upon them with a Wedding, that no body +thought on; by which you seize me and my Estate, and I suppose make a +Bonfire of your own Act and Deed.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Nay, but <i>Chargee</i>, if—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, <i>Gardee</i>, no Ifs— Have I refus'd three +<i>Northern</i> Lords, two <i>British</i> Peers, and half a score +Knights, to have you put in your Ifs?—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> So thou hast indeed, and I will trust to thy +Management. Od, I'm all of a Fire.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> 'Tis a wonder the dry Stubble does not blaze.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> How now! who sent for you, Sir? What's the Hundred +Pound gone already?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> No, Sir, I don't want Money now.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> No, that's a Miracle! But there's one thing you <ins +class = "correction" title = "text reads 'wan't'">want</ins>, I'm +sure.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ay, what's that, <i>Guardian?</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Manners, what had I no Servants without?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> None that cou'd do my Business, <i>Guardian</i>, which +is at present with this Lady.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> With me, Mr. <i>Marplot!</i> what is it, I beseech +you?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, Sir, what is it? any thing that relates to her +may be deliver'd to me.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I deny that.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> That's more than I do, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Indeed, Madam, why then to proceed: Fame says, that you +and my most Conscionable <i>Guardian</i> here, design'd, contriv'd, +plotted and agreed to chouse a very civil, honourable, honest Gentleman, +out of a Hundred Pound.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> That I contrived it!</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ay you— You said never a Word against it, so far +you are Guilty.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Pray tell that civil, honourable, honest Gentleman, +<span class = "pagenum">37</span> +that if he has any more such Sums to fool away, they shall be received +like the last; Ha, ha, ha, ha, chous'd, quotha! But hark ye, let him +know at the same time, that if he dare to report I trick'd him of it, I +shall recommend a Lawyer to him shall shew him a Trick for twice as +much; D'ye hear, tell him that.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> So, and this is the way you use a Gentleman, and my +Friend.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Is the Wretch thy Friend?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> The Wretch! Look ye, Madam, don't call Names; Egad I +won't take it.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Why you won't beat me, will you? Ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I don't know whether I will or no.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Sir, I shall make a Servant shew you out at the +Window if you are sawcy.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I am your most humble Servant, <i>Guardian</i>; I +design to go out the same way I came in. I wou'd only ask this Lady, if +she do's not think in her Soul Sir <i>George Airy</i> is not a fine +Gentleman.</p> + +<p><i>Miram.</i> He Dresses well.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Which is chiefly owing to his Taylor, and <i>Valet +de Chamber</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> And if you allow that a proof of his being a fine +Gentleman, he is so.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> The judicious part of the World allow him Wit, Courage, +Gallantry and Management; tho' I think he forfeited that Character, when +he flung away a Hundred Pound upon your Dumb Ladyship.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Does that gaul him? Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> So, Sir <i>George</i> remaining in deep Discontent, has +sent you his trusty Squire, to utter his Complaint: Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Yes, Madam; and you, like a cruel, hard-hearted Jew, +value it no more—than I wou'd your Ladyship, were I Sir +<i>George</i>, you, you, you—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh, don't call Names. I know you love to be employ'd, +and I'll oblige you; and you shall carry him a Message from me.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">38</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> According as I like it: What is it?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Nay, a kind one you may be sure— First tell him, +I have chose this Gentleman to have, and to hold, and so forth.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Clapping her Hand into Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span>'s.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Oh the dear Rogue, how I dote on her!</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> And advise his Impertinence to trouble me no more, for +I prefer Sir <i>Francis</i> for a Husband before all the Fops in the +Universe.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Oh Lord, Oh Lord! She's bewitch'd, that's certain; +Here's a Husband for Eighteen— Here's a Shape— Here's Bones +ratling in a Leathern Bag. <span class = "insetdir">(Turning Sir +<span class = "charname">Francis</span> about.)</span> +Here's Buckram, and Canvass, to scrub you to Repentance.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Sirrah, my Cane shall teach you Repentance +presently.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> No faith, I have felt its Twin-Brother from just such a +wither'd Hand too lately.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> One thing more, advise him to keep from the Garden Gate +on the left Hand; for if he dares to saunter there, about the Hour of +Eight, as he used to do, he shall be saluted with a Pistol or a +Blunderbuss.</p> + +<p><i>Sir Fran.</i> Oh monstrous! why <i>Chargee</i>; did he use to come +to the Garden Gate?</p> + +<p><ins class = "correction" title = +"text reads 'Marpl.'"><i>Miran.</i></ins> The Gardner describ'd just +such another Man that always watch'd his coming out, and fain wou'd +have bribed him for his Entrance—tell him he shall find a warm +Reception if he comes this Night.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pistols and Blunderbusses! Egad, a warm Reception +indeed; I shall take care to inform him of your Kindness, and advise him +to keep farther off.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I hope he will understand my Meaning better, than to +follow your Advice.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Thou hast sign'd, seal'd, and ta'en Possession of my +Heart; for ever, <i>Chargee</i>, Ha, ha, ha; and for you, Mr. Sauce-box, +let me have no more of your Messages, if ever you design to inherit your +Estate, Gentleman.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why there 'tis now. Sure I shall be out of your +Clutches one Day.— Well, <i>Guardian</i>, I say no more; but if +you be not as errant a Cuckold, as e're drove Bargain upon +<span class = "pagenum">39</span> +the Exchange, or paid Attendance to a Court; I am the Son of a +Whetstone; and so your humble Servant.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Don't forget the Message; Ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> I am so provok'd!—'tis well he's gone.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh mind him not, <i>Gardee</i>, but let's sign +Articles, and then—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> And then— Adod, I believe I am Metamorphos'd; +my Pulse beats high, and my Blood boils, methinks—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Kissing and Hugging her.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh fye, <i>Gardee</i>, be not so violent; Consider the +Market lasts all the Year— Well, I'll in and see if the Lawyer be +come, you'll follow.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, to the World's End, my Dear. Well, +<i>Franck</i>, thou art a lucky Fellow in thy old Age, to have such a +delicate Morsel, and Thirty Thousand Pound in love with thee; I shall be +the Envy of Batchelors, the Glory of Marry'd Men, and the Wonder of the +Town. Some Guardians wou'd be glad to compound for part of the Estate, +at dispatching an Heiress, but I engross the whole: <i>O! Mihi +præteritos referet si Jupiter Annos.</i></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actIII_4"> </a> +<div class = "scene"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> Changes to +a Tavern; discovers Sir <span class = "charname">George</span> and +<span class = "charname">Charles</span> with Wine before them, and +<span class = "charname">Whisper</span> waiting.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Nay, prithee don't be Grave, <i>Charles;</i> +Misfortunes will happen: Ha, ha, ha, 'tis some Comfort to have a +Companion in our Sufferings.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I am only apprehensive for <i>Isabinda</i>, her Father's +Humour is implacable; and how far his Jealousie may transport him to her +Undoing, shocks my Soul to think.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But since you escap'd undiscover'd by him, his Rage +will quickly lash into a Calm, never fear it.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> But who knows what that unlucky Dog, <i>Marplot</i>, +told him; nor can I imagine what brought him thither; that Fellow is +ever doing Mischief; and yet, to give him his due, he never designs it. +This is some Blundering Adventure, +<span class = "pagenum">40</span> +wherein he thought to shew his Friendship, as he calls it: A Curse on +him.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Then you must forgive him; what said he?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Said! nay, I had more mind to cut his Throat, than hear +his Excuses.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Where is he?</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Sir, I saw him go into Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i>'s just +now.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh! then he is upon your Business, Sir <i>George</i>; a +thousand to one, but he makes some Mistake there too.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Impossible, without he huffs the Lady, and makes Love +to Sir <i>Francis</i>.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Drawer.</div> + +<p><i>Draw.</i> Mr. <i>Marplot</i> is below, Gentlemen, and desires to +know if he may have Leave to wait upon ye.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> How civil the Rogue is when he has done a fault!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ho! Desire him to walk up. Prithee, <i>Charles</i>, +throw off this Chagreen, and be good Company.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Nay, hang him, I'm not angry with him. <i>Whisper</i>, +fetch me Pen, Ink and Paper.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Yes, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Ex. <span class = +"charname">Whisp.</span></div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Do but mark his sheepish Look, Sir <i>George</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Dear <i>Charles,</i> don't o'erwhelm a +Man—already under insupportable Affliction. I'm sure I always +intend to serve my Friends; but if my malicious Stars deny the +Happiness, is the fault mine?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Never mind him, Mr. <i>Marplot</i>, he is eat up with +Spleen. But tell me, what says <i>Miranda?</i></p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Says—nay, we are all undone there too.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I told you so; nothing prospers that he undertakes.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why can I help her having chose your Father for Better +for Worse?</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> So: There's another of Fortune's Strokes; I suppose I +shall be Edg'd out of my Estate, with Twins every Year, let who will get +'em.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What is the Woman really Possest?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">41</span> +<span class = "folionum">G</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> Yes with the Spirit of Contradiction, she rail'd at you +most prodigiously.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> That's no ill Sign.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Whisper</span>, +with Pen, Ink and Paper.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> You'd say it was no good Sign, if you knew all.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why, prithee?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Hark'e, Sir <i>George</i>, Let me warn you, pursue your +old Haunt no more, it may be dangerous.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Charles <i>sits down to write.</i></div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> My old Haunt, what d'you mean?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why in short then, since you will have it, +<i>Miranda</i> vows if you dare approach the Garden-Gate at Eight a +Clock, as you us'd, you shall be saluted with a Blunderbuss, Sir. These +were her Words; nay, she bid me tell you so too.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>George</i>, Ha! The Garden-Gate at Eight, as I us'd to do! +There must be a Meaning in this. Is there such a Gate, +<i>Charles?</i></p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Yes, yes; it opens into the Park, I suppose her Ladyship +has made many a Scamper through it.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo</i>. It must be an Assignation then. Ha, my Heart springs +with Joy, 'tis a propitious Omen. My dear <i>Marplot</i>, let me embrace +thee, thou art my Friend, my better Angel—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> What do you mean, Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No matter what I mean. Here take a Bumper to the +Garden-Gate, ye dear Rogue, you.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> You have Reason to be transported, Sir <i>George</i>; I +have sav'd your Life.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo</i>. My Life! thou hast sav'd my Soul, Man. +<i>Charles</i>, if thou do'st not pledge this Health, may'st thou never +taste the Joys of Love.</p> + +<p><i>Char. Whisper</i>, be sure you take care how you deliver +this <span class = "insetdir">(gives him the Letter)</span> bring me the +Answer to my +Lodgings.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> I warrant you, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">42</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> Whither does that Letter go?— Now dare I not ask for +my Blood.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Now I'm for you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> To the Garden-Gate at the Hour of Eight, +<i>Charles</i>, along, Huzza!</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I begin to conceive you.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> That's more than I do, Egad—to the Garden-Gate, +Huzza, <span class = "insetdir">(Drinks.)</span> But I hope you design +to keep far enough off +on't, Sir <i>George</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, ay, never fear that; she shall see I despise her +Frowns, let her use her Blunderbuss against the next Fool, she shan't +reach me with the Smoak, I warrant her, Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ah, <i>Charles</i>, if you cou'd receive a +Disappointment thus <i>En Cavalier</i>, one shou'd have some comfort in +being beat for you.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> The Fool comprehends nothing.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Nor wou'd I have him; prithee take him along with +thee.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Enough: <i>Marplot</i>, you shall go home with me.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I'm glad I'm well with him however. Sir <i>George</i>, +yours. Egad, <i>Charles</i>, asking me to go home with him, gives me a +shrewd suspicion there's more in the Garden-Gate, than I comprehend. +Faith, I'll give him the drop, and away to <i>Guardians</i>, and find it +out.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I kiss both your Hands— And now for the +Garden-Gate.</p> +<div class = "verse"> +It's Beauty gives the Assignation there,<br> +And Love too powerful grows t' admit of Fear. +</div> + +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<div class = "scene">The End of the Third Act.</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">43</span> +<span class = "folionum">G2</span> +<div class = "act"><a name = "actIV_1">ACT the Fourth.</a></div> + +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> +the Out-side of Sir <i>Jealous Traffick</i>'s House,<br> +<i>Patch</i> peeping out of Door.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = +"charname">Whisper</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i><br> +<span class = "secondletter">H</span>A, Mrs. <i>Patch</i>, this is a +lucky Minute, to find you so readily, my Master dies with +Impatience.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> My Lady imagin'd so, and by her Orders I have been +scouting this hour in search of you, to inform you that Sir +<i>Jealous</i> has invited some Friends to Supper with him to Night, +which gives an Opportunity to your Master to make use of his Ladder of +Ropes: The Closet Window shall be open, and <i>Isabinda</i> ready to +receive him; bid him come immediately.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Excellent, He'll not disappoint I warrant him: But +hold, I have a Letter here, which I'm to carry an Answer of: I can't +think what Language the Direction is.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Pho, 'tis no Language, but a Character which the Lovers +invented to avert Discovery: Ha, I hear my old Master coming down +Stairs, it is impossible you shou'd have an Answer; away, and bid him +come himself for that—begone we are ruined if you're seen, for he +has doubl'd his Care since the last Accident.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> I go, I go.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">[Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> There, go thou into my Pocket. <span class = +"insetdir">[Puts it besides, and +it falls down.]</span> Now I'll up the back Stairs, lest I meet him. +Well, a dexterous Chamber-maid is the Ladies best Utensil, I say.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">[Exit.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span> with a Letter in his Hand.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> So, this is some Comfort, this tells me that +<i>Seignior Don Diego Babinetto</i> is safely arriv'd, he shall marry my +Daughter the Minute he comes, ha. What's here <span class = +"insetdir">[takes up the Letter +<span class = "charname">Patch</span> drop'd]</span> a Letter! I don't +know what to +<span class = "pagenum">44</span> +make of the Superscription. I'll see what's within side, +<span class = "insetdir">[opens +it]</span> humph; 'tis <i>Hebrew</i> I think. What can this mean. There +must be some trick in it; this was certainly design'd for my Daughter, +but I don't know that she can speak any Language but her Mother-Tongue. +No matter for that, this may be one of Love's Hieroglyphicks, and I +fancy I saw <i>Patch</i>'s Tail sweep by. That Wench may be a Slut, and +instead of guarding my Honour, betray it; I'll find it out I'm resolv'd; +who's there? What Answer did you bring from the Gentlemen I sent you to +invite?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> That they'd all wait of you, Sir, as I told you before, +but I suppose you forget, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Did I so, Sir, but I shan't forget to break your +Head, if any of 'em come, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Come, Sir, why did not you send me to desire their +Company, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> But I send you now to desire their Absence; say I +have something extraordinary fallen out, which calls me abroad, contrary +to Expectation, and ask their Pardon, and d'ye hear, send the Butler to +me.</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Yes, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">[<i>Exit.</i></div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Butler</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> If this Paper has a Meaning I'll find it. Lay the +Cloath in my Daughter's Chamber, and bid the Cook send Supper thither +presently.</p> + +<p><i>Butl.</i> Yes, Sir,—hey day, what's the Matter now?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">[<i>Exit.</i></div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> He wants the Eyes of <i>Argus</i>, that has a young +handsome Daughter in this Town, but my Comfort is, I shall not be +troubl'd long with her. He that pretends to rule a Girl once in her +Teens, had better be at Sea in a Storm, and would be in less Danger.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +For let him do, or Counsel all he can,<br> +She thinks and dreams of nothing else but Man.</div> + +<div class = "stagedir">[Exit.</div> + +<a name = "actIV_2"> </a> +<span class = "pagenum">45</span> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> +<i>Isabinda</i>'s Chamber, <i>Isabinda</i> and <i>Patch</i>.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Are you sure, no Body saw you speak to +<i>Whisper?</i></p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, very sure Madam, but I heard Sir <i>Jealous</i> +coming down Stairs, so I clap'd this Letter into my Pocket.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Feels for the Letter.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> A Letter! give it me quickly.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Bless me! what's become on't— I'm sure I put +it—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Searching still.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Is it possible, thou could'st be so Careless— Oh! +I'm undone for ever if it be lost.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I must have drop'd it upon the Stairs. But why are you +so much alarm'd, if the worst happens no body can read it, Madam, nor +find out whom it was design'd for.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> If it falls into my Father's Hands the very Figure of a +Letter will produce ill Consequences. Run and look for it upon the +Stairs this Moment.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Nay, I'm sure it can be no where else.— <span +class = "insetdir">(As +she's going out of the Door meets the Butler.)</span> How now, what do +you want?</p> + +<p><i>Butl.</i> My Master order'd me to lay the Cloth here for his +Supper.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Ruin'd past Redemption—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> You mistake sure; what shall we do?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I thought he expected Company to Night— Oh! poor +<i>Charles</i>— Oh! unfortunate <i>Isabinda</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Butl.</i> I thought so too Madam, but I suppose he has alter'd his +Mind.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Lays the Cloth, and Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> The Letter is the Cause; this heedless Action has undone +me: Fly and fasten the Closet-window, which will give <i>Charles</i> +notice to retire. Ha, my Father, oh! Confusion.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Hold, hold, <i>Patch</i>, whither are you going. +I'll have no body stir out of the Room till after Supper.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Sir, I was only going to reach your easie +Chair— Oh! wretched Accident!</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">46</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I'll have no body stir out of the Room. I don't want my +easie Chair.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What will be the event of this?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Hark ye Daughter, do you know this Hand?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> As I suspected— Hand do you call it, Sir? 'Tis +some School-boy's Scraul.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh! Invention, thou Chamber-maid's best Friend, assist +me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Are you sure you don't understand it?</p> + +<div class = "entrance">(Patch. Feels in her Bosom, and shakes her +Coats.)</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Do you understand it, Sir?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I wish I did.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Thank Heaven you do not. <span class = +"insetdir">(aside)</span> Then I know no +more of it than you do indeed, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have you done, Sir? Why the +Paper is mine, I drop'd it out of my Bosom.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Snatching it from him.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ha! yours, Mistress.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What does she mean by owning it.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, Sir, it is.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What is it? Speak.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Why, Sir, it is a Charm for the Tooth-ach— I have +worn it this seven Year, 'twas given me by an Angel for ought I know, +when I was raving with the Pain; for no body knew from whence he came, +nor whither he went, he charg'd me never to open it, lest some dire +Vengeance befal me, and Heaven knows what will be the Event. Oh! cruel +Misfortune that I should drop it, and you should open it— If you +had not open'd it—</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Excellent Wench.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Pox of your Charms, and Whims for me, if that be all +'tis well enough; there, there, burn it, and I warrant you no Vengeance +will follow.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> So, all's right again thus far.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I would not lose <i>Patch</i> for the World— I'll +take courage a little. <span class = "insetdir">(aside)</span> Is this +Usage for your Daughter, +Sir, must my Virtue and Conduct be suspected? For every Trifle, you +immure me like some dire Offender here, and deny me +<span class = "pagenum">47</span> +all Recreations which my Sex enjoy, and the Custom of the Country and +Modesty allow; yet not content with that you make my Confinement more +intolerable by your Mistrusts and Jealousies; wou'd I were dead, so I +were free from this.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Weeps.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> To morrow rids you of this tiresome +Load,—<i>Don Diego Babinetto</i> will be here, and then my Care +ends and his begins.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Is he come then! Oh how shall I avoid this hated +Marriage?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servants with Supper.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Come will you sit down?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I can't eat, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> No, I dare swear he has given her Supper enough. I wish +I cou'd get into the Closet—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Well, if you can't eat, then give me a Song whilst I +do.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I have such a Cold I can scarce speak, Sir, much less +sing. How shall I prevent <i>Charles</i> coming in.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I hope you have the Use of your Fingers, Madam. Play +a Tune upon your <i>Spinnet</i>, whilst your Woman sings me a Song.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I'm as much out of Tune as my Lady, if he knew all.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I shall make excellent Musick.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sits down to play.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Really, Sir, I'm so frighted about your opening this +Charm, that I can't remember one Song.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Pish, hang your Charm; come, come, sing any +thing.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, I'm likely to sing truly <span class = +"insetdir">(aside)</span> humph, +humph, bless me, Sir, I cannot raise my Voice, my Heart pants so.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Why, what does your Heart pant so that you can't +play neither? Pray what Key are you in, ha?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ah, wou'd the Key was turn'd of you once.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Why don't you sing, I say!</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> When Madam has put her <i>Spinnet</i> in Tune, Sir, +humph, humph.—</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">48</span> +<i>Isab.</i> I cannot play, Sir, whatever ails me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Rising.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Zounds sit down, and play me a Tune, or I'll break +the <i>Spinnet</i> about your Ears.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What will become of me?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sits down and plays.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Come, Mistress.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(To <span class = "charname">Patch</span></div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sings, but horribly out of Tune.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Hey, hey, why you are a top of the House, and you +are down in the Cellar. What is the meaning of this? Is it on purpose to +cross me, ha?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Pray Madam, take it a little lower, I cannot reach that +Note—nor any Note I fear.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Well, begin— Oh! <i>Patch</i> we shall be +discover'd.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I sink with the Apprehension, Madam,—humph, +humph—</p> +<div class = "stagedir"><span class = "stagedir">(Sings)</span>(<span +class = "charname">Charles</span> pulls open the Closet Door.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Musick and Singing</p> +<div class = "verse"> +'Tis thus the bright Coelestial Court above,<br> +Beguiles the Hours with Musick and with Love. +</div> +<p>Death! her Father there, <span class = "insetdir">(The Women +shriek)</span> then I must +fly—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit into the Closet)</div> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sir <span class = "charname">Jealous</span> +rises up hastily, seeing <span class = "charname">Charles</span> slip +back into the Closet.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Hell and Furies, a Man in the Closet—</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ah! a Ghost, a Ghost—he must not enter the +Closet—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(<span class = "charname">Isabinda</span> throws +her self down before the Closet-door as in a <ins class = "correction" +title = "so in original: swound?">Sound</ins>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> The Devil! I'll make a Ghost of him I warrant +you.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Strives to get by.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh hold, Sir, have a care, you'l tread upon my +Lady— who waits there? Bring some Water: Oh! this comes of your +opening the Charm: Oh, oh, oh, oh.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Weeps aloud.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I'll Charm you, House-wife, here lies the Charm, +that conjur'd this Fellow in I'm sure on't, come out you Rascal, do so: +Zounds take her from the Door, or I'll spurn her from it, and break your +Neck down Stairs.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Oh, oh, where am I— He's gone, I heard him leap +down.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside to <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Nay, then let him enter—here, here Madam, smell +to this; come give me your Hand; come nearer to the Window, the Air will +do you good.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">49</span> +<span class = "folionum">H</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I wou'd she were in her Grave. Where are you, Sirrah, +Villain, Robber of my Honour; I'll pull you out of your Nest.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Goes into the Closet.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> You'l be mistaken, old Gentleman, the Bird is +flown.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I'm glad I have 'scap'd so well. I was almost dead in +earnest with the Fright.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Re-enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span> out of the Closet.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Whoever the Dog were he has escap'd out of the +Window, for the Sash is up. But tho' he is got out of my Reach, you are +not: And first Mrs. <i>Pandor</i>, with your Charms for Tooth-ach, get +out of my House, go, troop; yet hold, stay, I'll see you out of my Doors +my self, but I'll secure your Charge e'er I go.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> What do you mean, Sir? Was she not a Creature of your +own providing?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> She was of the Devil's providing for ought I +know.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> What have I done, Sir to merit your Displeasure?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I don't know which of you have done it; but you +shall both suffer for it, till I can discover whose Guilt it is: Go get +in there, I'll move you from this side of the House +<span class = "insetdir">(Pushes <span class = +"charname">Isabinda</span> +in at the other Door, and locks it; +puts the Key in his Pocket.)</span> I'll keep the Key my self: I'll try +what Ghost will get into that Room. And now forsooth I'll wait on you +down Stairs.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ah, my poor Lady— Down Stairs, Sir, but I won't +go out, Sir, till I have look'd up my Cloaths.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> If thou wer't as naked as thou wer't born, thou +should'st not stay to put on a Smock. Come along, I say, when your +Mistress is marry'd you shall have your Rags, and every thing that +belongs to you; but till then—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit, pulling her out.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh! barbarous Usage for nothing.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Re-enter at the lower Door.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> There, go, and, come no more within sight of my +Habitation, these three Days, I charge you.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Slaps the Door after her.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">50</span> +<i>Patch.</i> Did ever any Body see such an old Monster!</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh! Mr. <i>Charles</i> your Affairs and mine are in an +ill Posture.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I am immur'd to the Frowns of Fortune: But what has +befal'n thee?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Sir <i>Jealous</i>, whose suspicious Nature's always on +the Watch; nay, even whilst one Eye sleeps, the other keeps Sentinel: +Upon sight of you, flew into such a violent Passion, that I cou'd find +no Stratagem to appease him, but in spight of all Arguments, lock'd his +Daughter into his own Apartment, and turn'd me out of Doors.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Ha! oh, <i>Isabinda</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> And swears she shall neither see Sun nor Moon, till she +is <i>Don Diego Babinetto</i>'s Wife, who arrived last Night, and is +expected with impatience.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> He dies, yes, by all the Wrongs of Love he shall; here +will I plant my self, and thro' my Breast he shall make his Passage, if +he enters.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> A most heroick Resolution. There might be ways found +out more to your Advantage. Policy is often preferr'd to open force.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I apprehend you not.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> What think you of personating this <i>Spaniard</i>, +imposing upon the Father, and marrying your Mistress by his own +Consent.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Say'st thou so my Angel! Oh cou'd that be done, my Life +to come wou'd be too short to recompence thee: But how can I do that, +when I neither know what Ship he came in, nor from what part of +<i>Spain</i>; who recommends him, nor how attended.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> I can solve all this. He is from <i>Madrid</i>, his +Father's Name <i>Don Pedro Questo Portento Babinetto</i>. Here's a +Letter of his to Sir <i>Jealous</i>, which he drop'd one Day; you +understand <i>Spanish</i>, and the Hand may be counterfeited: You +conceive me, Sir.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">51</span> +<span class = "folionum">H2</span> +<i>Char.</i> My better Genius, thou hast reviv'd my drooping Soul: I'll +about it instantly. Come to my Lodgings, and we'll concert Matters.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exeunt.</div> + +<a name = "actIV_3"> </a> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> a +Garden Gate open, <i>Scentwell</i> waiting within.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">George +Airy</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> So, this is the Gate, and most invitingly open: If +there shou'd be a Blunderbuss here now, what a dreadful Ditty wou'd my +Fall make for Fools; and what a Jest for the Wits; how my Name wou'd be +roar'd about Streets. Well I'll venture all.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Hist, hist, Sir <i>George Airy</i>—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Enters.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A Female Voice, thus far I'm safe, my Dear.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> No, I'm not your Dear, but I'll conduct you to her, +give me your Hand; you must go thro' many a dark Passage and dirty Step +before you arrive—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I know I must before I arrive at Paradise; therefore +be quick my charming Guide.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> For ought you know; come, come your Hand and away.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Here, here Child, you can't be half so swift as my +Desires.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exeunt.</div> + + +<a name = "actIV_4"> </a> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> the +House.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = +"charname">Miranda</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Well, let me reason a little with my mad self. Now +don't I transgress all Rules to venture upon a Man, without the Advice +of the Grave and Wise; but then a rigid knavish Guardian who wou'd have +marry'd me. To whom? Even to his nauseous self, or no Body: Sir +<i>George</i> is what I have try'd in Conversation, inquir'd into his +Character, am satisfied in both. Then his Love; who wou'd have given a +hundred Pound only to have seen a Woman he had not infinitely loved? So +I find my liking him has furnish'd me with Arguments enough of his side; +and now the only Doubt remains whether he will come or no.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">52</span> +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> That's resolv'd, Madam, for here's the Knight.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">Exit <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And do I once more behold that lovely Object, whose +Idea fills my Mind, and forms my pleasing Dreams!</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> What beginning again in Heroicks!— Sir +<i>George</i>, don't you remember how little Fruit your last Prodigal +Oration produced, not one bare single Word in answer.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! the Voice of my <i>Incognita</i>— Why did +you take Ten Thousand ways to captivate a Heart your Eyes alone had +vanquish'd?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Prithee, no more of these Flights; for our Time's but +short, and we must fall into Business: Do you think we can agree on that +same terrible Bugbear, <i>Matrimony</i>, without heartily Repenting on +both sides.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> It has been my wish since first my longing Eyes +beheld ye.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> And your happy Ears drank in the pleasing News, I had +Thirty Thousand Pound.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Unkind! Did I not offer you in those purchas'd +Minutes to run the Risque of your Fortune, so you wou'd but secure that +lovely Person to my Arms.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Well, if you have such Love and Tenderness, (since our +Woing has been short) pray reserve it for our future Days, to let the +World see we are Lovers after Wedlock; 'twill be a Novelty—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Haste then, and let us tye the Knot, and prove the +envy'd Pair—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Hold! not so fast, I have provided better than to +venture on dangerous Experiments headlong— My <i>Guardian</i>, +trusting to my dissembled Love, has given up my Fortune to my own +dispose; but with this <i>Proviso</i>, that he to Morrow morning weds +me. He is now gone to <i>Doctors Commons</i> for a License.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, a License!</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> But I have planted Emissaries that infallibly take him +down to <i>Epsom</i>, under pretence that a Brother Usurer of +<span class = "pagenum">53</span> +his, is to make him his Executor; the thing on Earth he covets.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> 'Tis his known Character.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Now my Instruments confirm him, this Man is dying, and +he sends me word he goes this Minute; it must be to Morrow e'er he can +be undeceiv'd. That time is ours.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Let us improve it then, and settle on our coming +Years, endless, endless Happiness.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I dare not stir till I hear he's on the Road—then +I and my Writings, the most material point, are soon removed.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I have one Favour to ask, if it lies in your power, +you wou'd be a Friend to poor <i>Charles</i>, tho' the Son of this +tenacious Man: He is as free from all his Vices, as Nature and a good +Education can make him; and what now I have vanity enough to hope will +induce you, he is the Man on Earth I love.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I never was his Enemy, and only put it on as it help'd +my Designs on his Father. If his Uncle's Estate ought to be in his +Possession, which I shrewdly suspect, I may do him a singular piece of +Service.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You are all Goodness.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Oh, Madam, my Master and Mr. <i>Marplot</i> are just +coming into the House.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Undone, undone! if he finds you here in this Crisis, +all my Plots are unravell'd.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What shall I do! can't I get back into the +Garden?</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Oh, no! he comes up those Stairs.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Here, here, here! can you condescend to stand behind +this Chimney-Board, Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Any where, any where, dear Madam, without +Ceremony.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Come, come, Sir; lie close—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(They put him behind the Chimney-Board.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">54</span></p> +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span> +and <span class = "charname"><ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads 'Marplott'">Marplot</ins></span>: +Sir <span class = "charname">Francis</span> peeling an Orange.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> I cou'd not go, tho' 'tis upon Life and Death, +without taking leave of dear <i>Chargee</i>. Besides, this Fellow buz'd +in my Ears, that thou might'st be so desperate to shoot that wild Rake +which haunts the Garden-Gate; and that wou'd bring us into Trouble, +dear—</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> So, <i>Marplot</i> brought you back then: I am oblig'd +to him for that, I'm sure—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Frowning at <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span> aside.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> By her Looks she means she is not oblig'd to me. I have +done some Mischief now, but what I can't imagine.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, <i>Chargee</i>, I have had three Messengers to +come to <i>Epsom</i> to my Neighbour <i>Squeezum</i>'s who, for all his +vast Riches, is departing.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Sighs.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ay, see what all you Usurers must come to.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Peace, ye young Knave! Some Forty Years hence I may +think on't— But, <i>Chargee</i>, I'll be with thee to Morrow, +before those pretty Eyes are open; I will, I will, <i>Chargee</i>, I'll +rouze you, I saith.— Here Mrs. <i>Scentwell</i>, lift up your +Lady's Chimney-Board, that I may throw my Peel in, and not litter her +Chamber.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh my Stars! what will become of us now?</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Oh, pray Sir, give it me; I love it above all things +in Nature, indeed I do.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> No, no, Hussy; you have the Green Pip already, I'll +have no more Apothecary's Bills.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Goes towards the Chimney.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Hold, hold, hold, dear <i>Gardee</i>, I have a, a, a, +a, a Monkey shut up there; and if you open it before the Man comes that +is to tame it, 'tis so wild 'twill break all my China, or get away, and +that wou'd break my Heart; for I am fond on't to Distraction, next thee, +dear <i>Gardee</i>.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(In a flattering Tone.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, well, <i>Chargee</i>, I wont open it; she +shall have her Monkey, poor Rogue; here throw this Peel out of the +Window.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">(Exit <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> A Monkey, dear Madam, let me see it; I can tame +<span class = "pagenum">55</span> +a Monkey as well as the best of them all. Oh how I love the little +Minatures of Man.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Be quiet, Mischief, and stand farther from the +Chimney— You shall not see my Monkey—why sure—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Striving with him.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> For Heaven's sake, dear Madam, let me but peep, to see +if it be as pretty as my Lady <i>Fiddle-Faddle</i>'s. Has it got a +Chain?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Not yet, but I design it one shall last its Life-time: +Nay, you shall not see it— Look, <i>Gardee</i>, how he teazes +me!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Getting between him and +the Chimney.)</span> +Sirrah, Sirrah, let my <i>Chargee</i>'s Monkey alone, or <i>Bambo</i> +shall fly about your Ears. What is there no dealing with you?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pugh, pox of the Monkey! here's a Rout: I wish he may +Rival you.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter a Servant.</div> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Sir, they put two more Horses in the Coach, as you +order'd, and 'tis ready at the Door.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, I'm going to be Executor, better for thee, +Jewel. B'ye <i>Chargee</i>, one Buss!— I'm glad thou hast got a a +Monkey to divert thee a little.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Thank'e, dear <i>Gardee</i>.— Nay, I'll see you +to the Coach.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> That's kind, adod.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Come along, Impertinence.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(To <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Stepping back.)</span> +Egad, I will see the Monkey: Now <span class = "insetdir">(Lifts up the +Board, and discovers +Sir <span class = "charname">George</span>.)</span> Oh Lord, Oh Lord! +Thieves, Thieves, Murder!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Dam'e, you unlucky Dog! 'tis I, which way shall I get +out, shew me instantly, or I'll cut your Throat.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Undone, undone! At that Door there. But hold, hold, +break that China, and I'll bring you off.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(He runs off at the Corner, and throws down some +China.</div> + +<div class = "entrance">Re-enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span>, <span class = "charname">Miranda</span>, and +<span class = "charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Mercy on me! what's the matter?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Oh, you Toad! what have you done?</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">56</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> No great harm, I beg of you to forgive me: Longing to see +the Monkey, I did but just raise up the Board, and it flew over my +Shoulders, scratch'd all my Face, broke yon' China, and whisk'd out of +the Window.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Was ever such an unlucky Rogue! Sirrah, I forbid you +my House. Call the Servants to get the Monkey again; I wou'd stay my +self to look it, but that you know my earnest Business.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Oh my Lady will be the best to lure it back; all them +Creatures love my Lady extremely.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Go, go, dear <i>Gardee</i>; I hope I shall recover +it.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> B'ye, by'e, Dear'e. Ah, Mischief, how you look now! +B'ye, b'ye.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Miran. Scentwell</i>, see him in the Coach, and bring me word.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Yes, Madam.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> So, Sir, you have done your Friend a signal piece of +Service, I suppose.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why look you, Madam! if I have committed a fault, thank +your self; no Man is more Serviceable when I am let into a Secret, nor +none more Unlucky at finding it out. Who cou'd divine your Meaning, when +you talk'd of a Blunderbuss, who thought of a Rendevous? and when you +talk'd of a Monkey, who the Devil dreamt of Sir <i>George?</i></p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> A sign you converse but little with our Sex, when you +can't reconcile Contradictions.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> He's gone, Madam, as fast as the Coach, and Six can +carry him.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">George</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Then I may appear.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Dear, Sir <i>George</i>, make my Peace! On my Soul, I +did not think of you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I dare swear thou didst not. Madam, I beg you to +forgive him.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Well, Sir <i>George</i>, if he can be secret.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">57</span> +<span class = "folionum">I</span> +<i>Marpl.</i> Ods heart, Madam, I'm as secret as a Priest when I'm +trusted.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why 'tis with a Priest our Business is at +present.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Madam, here's Mrs. <i>Isabinda</i>'s Woman to wait on +you.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Bring her up.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>.</div> + +<p>How do'e, Mrs. <i>Patch</i>, what News from your Lady?</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> That's for your private Ear, Madam. Sir <i>George</i>, +there's a Friend of yours has an urgent Occasion for your +Assistance.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> His Name.</p> + +<p><i>Patch. Charles.</i></p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ha! then there is something a-foot that I know nothing +of. I'll wait on you, Sir <i>George</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A third Person may not be proper perhaps; as soon as +I have dispatch'd my own Affairs, I am at his Service. I'll send my +Servant to tell him, I'll wait upon him in half an Hour.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> How come you employ'd in this Message, Mrs. +<i>Patch?</i></p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Want of Business, Madam. I am discharg'd by my Master, +but hope to serve my Lady still.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> How discharg'd! you must tell me the whole Story +within.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> With all my Heart, Madam.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pish! Pox, I wish I were fairly out of the House. I +find Marriage is the end of this Secret: And now I am half mad to know +what <i>Charles</i> wants him for.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Madam, I'm doubly press'd, by Love and Friendship: +This Exigence admits of no delay. Shall we make <i>Marplot</i> of the +Party?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> If you'll run the Hazard, Sir <i>George</i>; I believe +he means well.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Nay, nay, for my part, I desire to be let into nothing: +I'll begon, therefore pray don't mistrust me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Going.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> So now has he a mind to be gone to <i>Charles</i>: +but not knowing what Affairs he may have upon his Hands at +<span class = "pagenum">58</span> +present, I'm resolv'd he sha'n't stir: No, Mr. <i>Marplot</i>, you must +not leave us, we want a third Person.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Takes hold of him.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I never had more mind to be gone in my Life.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Come along then; if we fail in the Voyage, thank your +self for taking this ill starr'd Gentleman on Board.</p> + +<p><i>Sir</i> Geo.</p> +<div class = "verse"> +That Vessel ne'er can Unsuccessful prove,<br> +Whose Freight is Beauty, and whose Pilot Love. +</div> + +<div class = "sceneplain">The End of the Fourth ACT.</div> + + + +<div class = "act"><a name = "actV_1">ACT the Fifth.</a></div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = "charname">Miranda</span>, +<span class = "charname">Patch</span>, and <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i><br> +<span class = "secondletter">W</span>ELL, <i>Patch</i>, I have done a +strange bold thing! my Fate is determin'd, and Expectation is no more. +Now to avoid the Impertinence and Roguery of an old Man, I have thrown +my self into the Extravagance of a young one; if he shou'd despise, +slight or use me ill, there's no Remedy from a Husband, but the Grave; +and that's a terrible Sanctuary to one of my Age and Constitution.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> O fear not, Madam, you'll find your account in Sir +<i>George Airy</i>; it is impossible a Man of Sense shou'd use a Woman +ill, indued with Beauty, Wit and Fortune. It must be the Lady's fault, +if she does not wear the unfashionable Name of Wife easie, when nothing +but Complaisance and good Humour is requisite on either side to make +them happy.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I long till I am out of this House, lest any Accident +shou'd bring my <i>Guardian</i> back. <i>Scentwell</i>, put my best +Jewels into the little Casket, slip them, into thy Pocket, and let us +march off to Sir. <i>Jealous</i>'s.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> It shall be done, Madam.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit <span class = +"charname">Scentwell</span>.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">59</span> +<span class = "folionum">I2</span> +<i>Patch.</i> Sir <i>George</i> will be impatient, Madam; if their Plot +succeeds, we shall be well receiv'd; if not, he will be able to protect +us. Besides, I long to know how my young Lady fares.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Farewell, old <i>Mammon</i>, and thy detested Walls; +'twill be no more sweet Sir <i>Francis</i>, I shall be compell'd to the +odious Task of Dissembling no longer to get my own, and coax him with +the wheedling Names of my <i>Precious</i>, my <i>Dear</i>, dear +<i>Gardee</i>. Oh Heavens!</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span> behind.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ah, my sweet <i>Chargee</i>, don't be frighted. +<span class = "insetdir">(She starts.)</span> But thy poor <i>Gardee</i> +has been abused, +cheated, fool'd, betray'd, but no Body knows by whom.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> Undone! past +Redemption.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What won't you speak to me, <i>Chargee!</i></p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> I'm so surpriz'd with Joy to see you, I know not what +to say.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Poor, dear Girl! But do'e know that my Son, or some +such Rogue, to rob or murder me, or both, contriv'd this Journey? For +upon the Road I met my Neighbour <i>Squeezum</i> well, and coming to +Town.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Good lack, good lack! what Tricks are there in this +World!</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Scentwell</span>, +with a Diamond Necklace in her Hand; not seeing Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Madam, be pleas'd to tye this Neck-lace on; for I +can't get it into the—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Seeing Sir <span class = +"charname">Francis</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> The Wench is a Fool, I think! cou'd you not have +carry'd it to be mended, without putting it in the Box?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What's the matter?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Only Dear'e, I bid her, I bid her— Your ill Usage +has put every thing out of my Head. But won't you go, <i>Gardee</i>, and +find out these Fellows, and have them punish'd! and, and—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Where shou'd I look them, Child? No I'll sit me down +contented with my Safety, nor stir out of my own Doors, till I go with +thee to a Parson.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">60</span> +<i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> If he goes into +his Closet I am ruin'd. +Oh! bless me in this Fright, I had forgot Mrs. <i>Patch</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Ay, Madam, and I stay for your speedy Answer.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> I must get him +out of the House. Now +assist me Fortune.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Mrs. <i>Patch</i>, I profess I did not see you, how +dost thou do, Mrs. <i>Patch</i>; well don't you repent leaving my +<i>Chargee?</i></p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Yes, every body must love her—but I came +now— Madam, what did I come for, my Invention is at the last +Ebb.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside to <span class = +"charname">Miranda</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Nay, never Whisper, tell me.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> She came, dear <i>Gardee</i> to invite me to her Lady's +Wedding, and you shall go with me <i>Gardee</i>, 'tis to be done this +Moment to a <i>Spanish</i> Merchant; Old Sir <i>Jealous</i> keeps on his +Humour, the first Minute he sees her, the next he marries her.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, I'd go if I thought the sight of +Matrimony wou'd tempt <i>Chargee</i> to perform her Promise: There was a +smile, there was a consenting Look with those pretty Twinklers, worth a +Million. Ods precious, I am happier than the Great <i>Mogul</i>, the +Emperour of <i>China</i>, or all the Potentates that are not in Wars. +Speak, confirm it, make me leap out of my Skin.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> When one has resolv'd, 'tis in vain to stand shall I, +shall I, if ever I marry, positively this is my Wedding Day.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Oh! happy, happy Man— Verily I will beget a +Son, the first Night shall disinherit that Dog, <i>Charles</i>. I have +Estate enough to purchase a Barony, and be the immortalizing the whole +Family of the Gripes.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Come then <i>Gardee</i>, give me thy Hand, let's to +this House of <i>Hymen</i>.</p> +<div class = "verse"> +My Choice is fix'd, let good or ill betide,</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i></p> +<div class = "verse"> +The joyful Bridegroom, I</div> + +<p><i>Miran.</i></p> +<div class = "verse"> +And I the happy Bride.</div> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exeunt.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">61</span></p> +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span> meeting a Servant.</div> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Sir, here's a couple of Gentlemen enquire for you; one +of 'em calls himself <i>Seignor Diego Babinetto</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ha! <i>Seignor Babinetto!</i> Admit 'em +instantly— Joyful Minute; I'll have my Daughter marry'd to +Night.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Charles</span> in +<span class = "charname">Spanish</span> Habit, with Sir <span class = +"charname">George</span> drest like a Merchant.</div> + +<p><i>Sir </i>Jeal.<i> Senior, beso Las Manos vuestra merced es muy +bien venido en esta tierra.</i></p> + +<p>Char. <i>Senhor, soy muy humilde, y muy obligado Cryado de vuestra +merced: Mi Padre Embia a vuestra merced, los mas profondos de sus +respetos; y a Commissionado este Mercadel Ingles, de concluyr un +negocio, que me Haze el mas dichoso hombre del mundo, Haziendo me su +yerno.</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I am glad on't, for I find I have lost much of my +<i>Spanish</i>. Sir, I am your most humble Servant. <i>Seignor Don Diego +Babinetto</i> has inform'd me that you are Commission'd by <i>Seignor +Don Pedro</i>, &c. his worthy Father.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> To see an Affair of Marriage Consummated between a +Daughter of yours, and <i>Seignor Diego Babinetto</i> his Son here. +True, Sir, such a Trust is repos'd in me as that Letter will inform you. +I hope 'twill pass upon him. <span class = +"insetdir">(Aside.)</span></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Gives him a Letter.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ay, 'tis his Hand.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Seems to read.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Good —— you have counterfeited to a +Nicety, <i>Charles.</i></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside to <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> If the whole Plot succeeds as well, I'm happy.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Sir I find by this, that you are a Man of Honour and +Probity; I think, Sir, he calls you <i>Meanwell</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo. Meanwell</i> is my Name, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> A very good Name, and very Significant.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Yes, Faith if he knew all.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> For to Mean-well is to be honest, and to be honest +is the Virtue of a Friend, and a Friend is the Delight and Support of +Human Society.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You shall find that I'll Discharge the part of a +Friend in what I have undertaken, Sir <i>Jealous</i>.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">62</span> +<i>Char.</i> But little does he think to whom.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Therefore, Sir, I must intreat the Presence of your +fair Daughter, and the Assistance of your Chaplain; for <i>Seignor Don +Pedro</i> strictly enjoyn'd me to see the Marriage Rites perform'd as +soon as we should arrive, to avoid the Accidental Overtures of +<i>Venus</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Overtures of <i>Venus!</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, Sir, that is, those little Hawking Females that +traverse the Park, and the Play-house to put off their damag'd +Ware—they fasten upon Foreigners like Leeches, and watch their +Arrival as carefully, as the <i>Kentish</i> Men do a Ship-wreck. I +warrant you they have heard of him already.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Nay, I know this Town swarms with them.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, and then you know the <i>Spaniards</i> are +naturally Amorous, but very Constant, the first Face fixes 'em, and it +may be dangerous to let him ramble e'er he is tied.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Well hinted.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Pat to my Purpose— Well, Sir, there is but one +thing more, and they shall be married instantly.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Pray Heaven, that one thing more don't spoil all.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal. Don Pedro</i> writ me Word in his last but one, +that he design'd the Sum of Five Thousand Crowns by way of Joynture for +my Daughter; and that it shou'd be paid into my Hand upon the Day of +Marriage.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh! the Devil.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> In order to lodge it in some of our Funds, in case +she should become a Widow, and return for <i>England</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Pox on't, this is an unlucky Turn. What shall I +say?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> And he does not mention one Word of it in this +Letter.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I don't know how he should.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Humph! True, Sir <i>Jealous</i>, he told me such a +Thing, but, but, but, but—he, he, he, he—he did not imagine +that you would insist upon the very Day, for, for, for, for Money you +know is dangerous returning by Sea, an, an, an, an—</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">63</span> +<i>Char.</i> Zounds, say we have brought it in Commodities.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside to Sir <span class = +"charname">George</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And so Sir, he has sent it in Merchandize, +<i>Tobacco, Sugars, Spices, Limons</i>, and so +forth, which shall be turn'd into Money with all Expedition: In the mean +time, Sir, if you please to accept of my Bond for Performance.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> It is enough, Sir, I am so pleas'd with the +Countenance of <i>Seignor Diego</i>, and the Harmony of your Name, that +I'll take your Word, and will fetch my Daughter this Moment. Within +there <span class = "insetdir">(Enter Servant)</span> desire Mr. +<i>Tackum</i> my Neighbour's +Chaplain to walk hither.</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Yes, Sir.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Gentlemen, I'll return in an Instant.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Wondrous well. Let me embrace thee.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Egad that 5000 <i>l.</i> had like to have ruin'd the +Plot.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> But that's over! And if Fortune throws no more Rubs in +our way.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Thou'lt carry the Prize—but hist, here he +comes.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>, dragging in <span class = +"charname">Isabinda</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Come along, you stubborn Baggage you, come +along.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i></p> +<div class = "verse"> +Oh hear me, Sir! hear me but speak one Word,<br> +Do not destroy my everlasting Peace;<br> +My Soul abhors this <i>Spaniard</i> you have chose<br> +Nor can I wed him without being curst. +</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> How's that!</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i></p> +<div class = "verse"> +Let this Posture move your tender Nature. <span class = +"insetdir">(Kneels.</span><br> +For ever will I hang upon these Knees;<br> +Nor loose my Hands till you cut off my hold,<br> +If you refuse to hear me, Sir. +</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh! that I cou'd discover my self to her.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Have a care what you do. You had better trust to his +Obstinacy.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Did you ever see such a perverse Slut: Off I say Mr. +<i>Meanwell</i> pray help me a little.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">64</span> +Sir <i>Geo.</i> Rise, Madam, and do not disoblige your Father, who has +provided a Husband worthy of you, one that will Love you equal with his +Soul, and one that you will Love, when once you know him.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Oh! never, never. Cou'd I suspect that Falshood in my +Heart, I wou'd this Moment tear it from my Breast, and streight present +him with the Treacherous Part.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh! my charming faithful Dear.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Falshood! why, who the Devil are you in Love with? +Ha! Don't provoke me, for by St. <i>Jago</i> I shall beat you, +Housewife.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Heaven forbid; for I shall infallibly discover my self +if he should.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Have Patience, Madam! and look at him: Why will you +prepossess your self against a Man that is Master of all the Charms you +would desire in a Husband?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ay, look at him, <i>Isabinda, Senior pase +vind adelante.</i></p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> My Heart bleeds to see her grieve, whom I imagin'd would +with Joy receive me. <i>Seniora obligue me vuestra merced de +sumano.</i></p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Pulling up her +Head.)</span> Hold up your Head, +hold up your Head, Housewife, and look at him: Is there a properer, +handsomer, better shap'd Fellow in <i>England</i>, ye Jade you. Ha! see, +see the obstinate Baggage shuts her Eyes; by St. <i>Jago</i>, I have a +good Mind to beat 'em out.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Pushes her down.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i></p> +<div class = "verse"> +Do then, Sir, kill me, kill me instantly.<br> +'Tis much the kinder Action of the Two,<br> +For 'twill be worse than Death to wed him. +</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Sir <i>Jealous</i>, you are too passionate. Give me +leave, I'll try by gentle Words to work her to your Purpose.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I pray do, Mr. <i>Meanwell</i>, I pray do; she'll +break my Heart. <span class = "insetdir">(weeps)</span> There is in +that, Jewels of the Value of +3000 <i>l.</i> which were her Mother's; and a Paper wherein I have +settled one half of my Estate upon her now, and the whole when I dye. +But provided she marries this Gentleman, else by St. <i>Jago</i>, I'll +turn her out of Doors to beg or starve. Tell her this, Mr. +<i>Meanwell</i>, pray do.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Walks off.</div> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">65</span> +<span class = "folionum">K</span> +Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! this is beyond Expectation— Trust to me, Sir, +I'll lay the dangerous Consequence of disobeying you at this Juncture +before her, I warrant you.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> A sudden Joy runs thro' my Heart like a propitious +Omen.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Come, Madam, do not blindly cast your Life away just +in the Moment you would wish to have it.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Pray cease your Trouble, Sir, I have no Wish but sudden +Death to free me from this hated <i>Spaniard</i>. If you are his Friend +inform him what I say; my Heart is given to another Youth, whom I love +with the same strength of Passion that I hate this <i>Diego</i>; with +whom, if I am forc'd to wed, my own Hand shall cut the Gordian Knot.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Suppose this <i>Spaniard</i> which you strive to shun +should be the very Man to whom you'd flye?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Ha!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Would you not blame your rash Result, and curse those +Eyes that would not look on <i>Charles</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> On <i>Charles!</i> Oh you have inspir'd new Life, and +collected every wandring Sense. Where is he? Oh! let me flye into his +Arms.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Rises.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Hold, hold, hold, 'Zdeath, Madam, you'll ruin all, +your Father believes him to be <i>Seignor Barbinetto</i>. Compose your +self a little, pray Madam.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(He runs to Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Her Eyes declare she knows me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> She begins to hear Reason, Sir, the fear of being +turn'd out of Doors has done it.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Runs back to <span class = +"charname">Isabinda</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> 'Tis he, oh! my ravish'd Soul.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Take heed, Madam, you don't betray your self. Seem +with Reluctance to consent, or you are undone, <span class = +"insetdir">(runs to Sir <span class = "charname">Jealous</span>,)</span> +speak gently to her, Sir, I'm sure she'll yield, I see it in her +Face.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Well, <i>Isabinda</i>, can you refuse to bless a +Father, whose only Care is to make you happy, as Mr. <i>Meanwell</i> has +inform'd you. Come, wipe thy Eyes; nay, prithee do, or thou wilt break +thy Father's Heart; see thou bring'st the +<span class = "pagenum">66</span> +Tears in mine to think of thy undutiful Carriage to me.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Weeps.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Oh! do not weep, Sir, your Tears are like a Ponyard to +my Soul; do with me what you please, I am all Obedience.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ha! then thou art my Child agen.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> 'Tis done, and now Friend the Day's thy own.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> The happiest of my Life, if nothing Intervene.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> And wilt thou love him?</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> I will endeavour it, Sir.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servant.</div> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Sir, Here is Mr. <i>Tackum</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Show him into the Parlour—<i>Senior tome vind +sueipora; cete Momenta les Junta les Manos.</i></p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Gives her to <span class = +"charname">Charles</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Oh! transport—<i>Senior yo la recibo Como se deve +un Tesoro tan Grande.</i> Oh! my Joy, my Life, my Soul.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Embrace.</div> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> My Faithful everlasting Comfort.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Now, Mr. <i>Meanwell</i> let's to the Parson,</p> +<div class = "verse"> +Who, by his Art will join this Pair for Life,<br> +Make me the happiest Father, her the happiest Wife. +</div> + +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + + +<a name = "actV_2"> </a> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> +Changes to the Street before Sir <i>Jealous</i>'s Door.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = "charname">Marplot</span>, +Solus.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> I have hunted all over the Town for <i>Charles</i>, but +can't find him; and by <i>Whisper</i>'s scouting at the End of the +Street, I suspect he must be in this House again. I'm inform'd too that +he has borrow'd a <i>Spanish</i> Habit out of the <i>Play-house</i>. +What can it mean?</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">67</span> +<span class = "folionum">K2</span> +<div class = "entrance">Enter a Servant of Sir <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>'s to him, out of the House.</div> + +<p>Hark'e, Sir, do you belong to this House? </p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Yes, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pray can you tell if there be a Gentleman in it in +<i>Spanish</i> Habit?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> There is a <i>Spanish</i> Gentleman within, that is just +a going to marry my young Lady, Sir.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Are you sure he is a <i>Spanish</i> Gentleman?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> I'm sure he speaks no <i>English</i>, that I hear +of.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Then that can't be him I want; for 'tis an +<i>English</i> Gentleman, tho' I suppose he may be dress'd like a +<i>Spaniard</i>, that I enquire after.</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Ha! who knows but this may be an Impostor? I'll inform +my Master; for if he shou'd be impos'd upon, he'll beat us all round. +<span class = "insetdir">(Aside.)</span> Pray, come in, Sir, and see if +this be the Person you +enquire for.</p> + + +<a name = "actV_3"> </a> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">SCENE</span> Changes +to <ins class = "correction" title = "so in original">the Inside the +House</ins>.</div> + +<div class = "scenedesc">Enter <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> So, this was a good Contrivance: If this be +<i>Charles</i>, now will he wonder how I found him out.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servant and <span class = +"charname">Jealous</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What is your earnest Business, Blockhead, that you +must speak with me before the Ceremony's past? Ha! who's this?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> Why this Gentleman, Sir, wants another Gentleman in +<i>Spanish</i> Habit, he says.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> In <i>Spanish</i> Habit! 'tis some Friend of +Seignior <i>Don Diego</i>'s, I warrant. Sir, I suppose you wou'd speak +with Seignior <i>Barbinetto</i>—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Hy-day! what the Devil does he say now!— Sir, I +don't understand you.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">68</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Don't you understand <i>Spanish</i>, Sir?</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Not I indeed, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I thought you had known Seignior +<i>Barbinetto</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Not I, upon my word, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What then you'd speak with his Friend, the +<i>English</i> Merchant, Mr. <i>Meanwell</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Neither, Sir; not I.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Why who are you then, Sir? and what do you want?</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(In an angry Tone.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Nay, nothing at all, not I, Sir. Pox on him! I wish I +were out, he begins to exalt his Voice, I shall be beaten agen.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Nothing at all, Sir! Why then what Business have you +in my House? ha?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> You said you wanted a Gentleman in <i>Spanish</i> +Habit.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why ay, but his Name is neither <i>Barbinetto</i> nor +<i>Meanwell</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> What is his Name then, Sirrah, ha? Now I look at you +agen, I believe you are the Rogue threaten'd me with half a Dozen +<i>Mirmidons</i>— Speak, Sir, who is it you look for? or, +or—</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> A terrible old Dog!— Why, Sir, only an honest +young Fellow of my Acquaintance— I thought that here might be a +Ball, and that he might have been here in a Masquerade; 'tis +<i>Charles</i>, Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i>'s Son, because I know he us'd +to come hither sometimes.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Did he so?— Not that I know of, I'm sure. Pray +Heaven that this be Don <i>Diego</i>— If I shou'd be trick'd +now— Ha! my Heart misgives me plaguily—within there! stop +the Marriage— Run, Sirrah, call all my Servants! I'll be satisfy'd +that this is Seignior <i>Pedro</i>'s Son e're he has my Daughter.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ha, Sir <i>George</i>, what have I done now ?</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">George</span> +with a drawn Sword between the Scenes.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! <i>Marplot</i>, here— Oh the unlucky +Dog—what's the matter, Sir <i>Jealous?</i></p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">69</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Nay, I don't know the matter, Mr.<i>Meanwell</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Upon my Soul, Sir <i>George</i>—</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Going up to Sir <span class = +"charname">Geo.</span></div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Nay then, I'm betray'd, ruin'd, undone: Thieves, +Traytors, Rogues! <span class = "insetdir">(Offers to go in.)</span> +Stop the Marriage, I +say—</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I say, go on Mr.<i>Tackum</i>— Nay, no Ent'ring +here, I guard this Passage, old Gentleman; the Act and Deed were both +your own, and I'll see 'em sign'd, or die for't.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Servants.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> A pox on the Act and Deed!— Fall on, knock him +down.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, come on, Scoundrils! I'll prick your Jackets for +you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Z'ounds, Sirrah, I'll be Reveng'd on you.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Beats <span class = +"charname">Marplot</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, there your Vengeance is due; Ha, ha.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Why, what do you beat me for? I ha'nt marry'd your +Daughter.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Rascals! why don't you knock him down?</p> + +<p><i>Serv.</i> We are afraid of his Sword, Sir; if you'll take that +from him, we'll knock him down presently.</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Charles</span> +and <span class = "charname">Isabinda</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Seize her then.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Rascals, retire; she's my Wife, touch her if you dare, +I'll make Dogs meat of you.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ah! downright <i>English</i>:— Oh, oh, oh, +oh!</p> + +<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">Francis +Gripe</span>, <span class = "charname"><ins class = "correction" +title = "so in original">Mirand</ins></span>, <span class = +"charname">Patch</span>, <span class = "charname">Scentwell</span>, +and <span class = "charname">Whisper</span>.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Into the House of Joy we Enter without knocking: Ha! +I think 'tis the House of Sorrow, Sir <i>Jealous</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Oh Sir <i>Francis!</i> are you come? What was this +your Contrivance, to abuse, trick, and chouse me of my Child!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> My Contrivance! what do you mean?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> No, you don't know your Son there in <i>Spanish</i> +Habit.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">70</span> +Sir <i>Fran.</i> How! my Son in <i>Spanish</i> Habit. Sirrah, you'll +come to be hang'd; get out of my sight, ye Dog! get out of my sight.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Get out of your sight, Sir! Get out with your Bags; +let's see what you'll give him now to maintain my Daughter on.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Give him! He shall be never the better for a Penny +of mine—and you might have look'd after your Daughter better, Sir +<i>Jealous</i>. Trick'd, quotha! Egad, I think you design'd to trick me: +But look ye, Gentlemen, I believe I shall trick you both. This Lady is +my Wife, do you see? And my Estate shall descend only to the Heirs of +her Body.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Lawfully begotten by me— I shall be extremely +oblig'd to you, Sir <i>Francis</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, ha, poor Sir <i>George!</i> You see your +Project was of no use. Does not your Hundred Pound stick in your +Stomach? Ha, ha, ha.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No faith, Sir <i>Francis</i>, this Lady has given me +a Cordial for that.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Takes her by the Hand.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Hold, Sir, you have nothing to say to this Lady.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Nor you nothing to do with my Wife, Sir.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Wife, Sir!</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Ay really, <i>Guardian</i>, 'tis even so. I hope you'll +forgive my first Offence.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What have you chous'd me out of my Consent, and your +Writings then, Mistress, ha?</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> Out of nothing but my own, <i>Guardian</i>.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Ha, ha, ha, 'tis some Comfort at least to see you +are over-reach'd as well as my self. Will you settle your Estate upon +your Son now?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> He shall starve first.</p> + +<p><i>Miran.</i> That I have taken care to prevent. There, Sir, is the +Writings of your Uncle's <i>Estate</i>, which has been your due these +three Years.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Gives <span class = "charname">Char.</span> +Papers.</div> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I shall study to deserve this Favour.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> What have you robb'd me too, Mistress! Egad I'll +make you restore 'em.— Huswife, I will so.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">71</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Take care I don't make you pay the Arrears, Sir. 'Tis +well it's no worse, since 'tis no better. Come, young Man, seeing thou +hast out-witted me, take her, and Bless you both.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> I hope, Sir, you'll bestow your Blessing too, 'tis all +I'll ask.</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Kneels.</div> + +<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Confound you all!</p> +<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Mercy upon us! how he looks!</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, ha, ne'er mind his Curses, <i>Charles</i>; +thou'lt thrive not one jot the worse for 'em. Since this Gentleman is +reconcil'd, we are all made happy.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I always lov'd Precaution, and took care to avoid +Dangers. But when a thing was past, I ever had Philosophy to be +easie.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Which is the true sign of a great Soul: I lov'd your +Daughter, and she me, and you shall have no reason to repent her +Choice.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> You will not blame me, Sir, for loving my own Country +best.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> So here's every Body happy, I find, but poor +<i>Pilgarlick</i>. I wonder what Satisfaction I shall have, for being +cuff'd, kick'd, and beaten in your Service.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> I have been a little too familiar with you, as +things are fallen out; but since there's no help for't, you must forgive +me.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> Egad I think so— But provided that you be not so +familiar for the future.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Thou hast been an unlucky Rogue.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> But very honest.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> That I'll vouch for; and freely forgive thee.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And I'll do you one piece of Service more, +<i>Marplot</i>, I'll take care that Sir <i>Francis</i> make you Master +of your Estate.</p> + +<p><i>Marpl.</i> That will make me as happy as any of you.</p> + +<p><i>Patch.</i> Your humble Servant begs leave to remind you, +Madam.</p> + +<p><i>Isab.</i> Sir, I hope you'll give me leave to take <i>Patch</i> +into favour again.</p> + +<p><span class = "pagenum">72</span> +Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Nay, let your Husband look to that, I have done with my +Care.</p> + +<p><i>Char.</i> Her own Liberty shall always oblige me. Here's no Body +but honest <i>Whisper</i> and Mrs. <i>Scentwell</i> to be provided for +now. It shall be left to their Choice to Marry, or keep their +Services.</p> + +<p><i>Whisp.</i> Nay then, I'll stick to my Master.</p> + +<p><i>Scentw.</i> Coxcomb! and I prefer my Lady before a Footman.</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Hark, I hear Musick, the Fidlers smell a Wedding. +What say you, young Fellows, will ye have a Dance?</p> + +<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> <ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads 'with'">With</ins> all my Heart; call'em in.</p> + +<br> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">A +DANCE.</span></div> +<br> + +<p>Sir <i>Jeal.</i> Now let us in and refresh our selves with a chearful +Glass, in which we'll bury all Animosities: And</p> +<div class = "verse"> +By my Example let all Parents move,<br> +And never strive to cross their Childrens Love;<br> +But still submit that Care to Providence above. +</div> + +<br> +<div class = "sceneplain"><span class = "sceneword">FINIS</span></div> + +<hr> + +<a name = "ARSpubs"> </a><br> +<h4><i>The Editors of</i> THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY</h4> +<p class = "editors">are pleased to announce that<br> +<br> +<span class = "smallcaps">THE WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK +MEMORIAL LIBRARY</span><br> +<br> +of The University of California, Los Angeles</p> + +<p>will become the publisher of the Augustan Reprints in May, 1949. The +editorial policy of the Society will continue unchanged. As in the past, +the editors will strive to furnish members inexpensive reprints of rare +seventeenth and eighteenth century works.</p> + +<!--PG hyperlinks begin here--> + +<div class = "mynote"> +Transcriber's Note:<br> +Many of the listed titles are or will be available from Project +Gutenberg. Where possible, a link to the e-text is given. +</div> + +<p align = "center">Publications for the fourth year (1949-1950)</p> + +<table align = "center" summary = "list of planned publications"> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p class = "editors">(At least six items will be printed in the main +from the following list)<br> +</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td width = "50%"><span class = "smallcaps">Series IV: Men, Manners, and +Critics</span><br> + John Dryden, +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15074"><i>His Majesties +Declaration Defended</i></a> (1681)<br> + Daniel Defoe (?), +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14084"><i>Vindication of the +Press</i></a> +(1718)<br> + <i>Critical Remarks on Sir Charles Grandison, Clarissa, and +Pamela</i> +(1754)<br> +</td> +<td><span class = "smallcaps">Series VI: Poetry and Language</span><br> + Andre Dacier, <i>Essay on Lyric Poetry</i><br> + <i>Poems</i> by Thomas Sprat<br> + <i>Poems</i> by the Earl of Dorset<br> + Samuel Johnson, +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/13350"><i>Vanity of Human +Wishes</i></a> (1749), and one of the 1750 <i>Rambler</i> papers.<br> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><span class = "smallcaps">Series V: Drama</span><br> + Thomas Southerne, <i>Oroonoko</i> (1696)<br> + Mrs. Centlivre, <i>The Busie Body </i>(1709)<br> + Charles Johnson, <i>Caelia</i> (1733)<br> + Charles Macklin, +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14463"><i>Man of the +World</i></a> +(1781)<br> +</td> +<td><span class = "smallcaps">Extra Series:</span><br> + <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16346">Lewis +Theobald</a>, <ins class = "correction" title = +"correct form is 'Preface to Shakespeare'"><i>Preface to Shakespeare's +Works</i></ins> (1733)<br> +<p>A few copies of the early publications of the Society are still +available at the original rate.</p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<hr> + +<table align = "center" summary = "names of general editors"> +<tr> +<td colspan = "2"> +<p class = "editors">GENERAL EDITORS</p> +</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td width = "50%"> +<span class = "smallcaps">H. Richard Archer</span>, +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i><br> +<span class = "smallcaps">Richard C. Boys</span>, +<i>University of Michigan</i> +</td> +<td> +<span class = "smallcaps">Edward Niles Hooker</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><br> +<span class = "smallcaps">H. T. Swedenberg, Jr.</span>, +<i>University of California, Los Angeles</i> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<table class = "order" summary = "order blank"> +<tr> +<td class = "order" colspan = "3"> </td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order"> +<span class = "smallcaps">To The Augustan Reprint Society</span> +</td> +<td class = "years">The fourth year</td> +<td class = "price">$2.50</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order"> +<i>William Andrews Clark Memorial Library</i></td> +<td class = "years">The third and fourth year</td> +<td class = "price">$5.00</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order"> +<i>2205 West Adams Blvd., Los Angeles 7, California</i></td> +<td class = "years">The second, third and fourth year</td> +<td class = "price">$7.50</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order"> +As <span class = "smallcaps">membership fee</span> I enclose for:</td> +<td class = "years">The first, second, third, and fourth year</td> +<td class = "price">$10.00</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order"> +<i>Name</i></td> +<td class = "years" colspan = "2">[Add $.25 for each year if ordering +from Great Britain or the +continent]</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "order" colspan = "3"> +<i>Address</i></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td colspan = "3"> +<p align = "center">Make check or money order payable to <span class = +"smallcaps">The Regents of the University of California.</span><br> +<i>Note: All income of the Society is devoted to defraying cost of +printing and mailing.</i></p> +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<br> + +<div class = "typehead">PUBLICATIONS OF THE AUGUSTAN +REPRINT SOCIETY</div> + +<div class = "publist"> +First Year (1946-1947) +</div> +<br> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/13484">1.</a> +Richard Blackmore's <i>Essay upon Wit</i> (1716), and Addison's +<i>Freeholder</i> No. 45 (1716). (I, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14528">2.</a> +Samuel Cobb's <i>Of Poetry</i> and <i>Discourse on Criticism</i> +(1707). (II, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14047">3.</a> +<i>Letter to A.H. Esq.; concerning the Stage</i> (1698), and Richard +Willis' <i>Occasional Paper No. IX</i> (1698). (III, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14973">4.</a> +<i>Essay on Wit</i> (1748), together with Characters by Flecknoe, and +Joseph Warton's <i>Adventurer</i> Nos. 127 and 133. (I, 2) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +5. Samuel Wesley's <i>Epistle to a Friend Concerning Poetry</i> (1700) +and <i>Essay on Heroic Poetry</i> (1693). (II, 2) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15656">6.</a> +<i>Representation of the Impiety and Immorality of the Stage</i> (1704) +and <i>Some Thoughts Concerning the Stage</i> (1704). (III, 2) +</div> +<br> +<div class = "publist"> +Second Year (1947-1948) +</div> +<br> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14800">7.</a> +John Gay's <i>The Present State of Wit</i> (1711); and a section on Wit +from <i>The English Theophrastus</i> (1702). (I, 3) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14495">8.</a> +Rapin's <i>De Carmine Pastorali</i>, translated by Creech (1684). +(II, 3) +</div> +<div class = "publist1"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14899">9.</a> +T. Hanmer's (?) <i>Some Remarks on the Tragedy of Hamlet</i> (1736). +(III, 3) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16233">10.</a> +Corbyn Morris' <i>Essay towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit, +etc.</i> +(1744). (I, 4) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15313">11.</a> +Thomas Purney's <i>Discourse on the Pastoral</i> (1717). (II, 4) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16335">12.</a> +Essays on the Stage, selected, with an Introduction by Joseph Wood +Krutch. (III, 4) +</div> +<br> +<div class = "publist"> +Third Year (1948-1949) +</div> +<br> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15999">13.</a> +Sir John Falstaff (pseud.), <i>The Theatre</i> (1720). (IV, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16267">14.</a> +Edward Moore's <i>The Gamester</i> (1753). (V, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +15. John Oldmixon's <i>Reflections on Dr. Swift's Letter to Harley</i> +(1712); and Arthur Mainwaring's <i>The British Academy</i> (1712). +(VI, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +16. <ins class = "correction" title = "in preparation">Nevil Payne's +<i>Fatal Jealousy</i></ins> (1673). (V, 2) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/16275">17.</a> +Nicholas Rowe's <i>Some Account of the Life of Mr. William +Shakespear</i> (1709). (Extra Series, 1) +</div> +<div class = "publist"> +<a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15870">18.</a> +Aaron Hill's Preface to <i>The Creation</i>; and Thomas Brereton's +Preface to <i>Esther</i>. (IV, 2) +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Busie Body, by Susanna Centlivre + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BUSIE BODY *** + +***** This file should be named 16740-h.htm or 16740-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/6/7/4/16740/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, David Starner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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